# Baby gender ? for moms who had early 2nd tri losses



## Vermillion (Mar 12, 2005)

So, for those of you who had earlier second trimester losses, I was wondering how obvious the baby's gender was.

I lost my little one at 17 weeks, but my midwife and OB said the baby looked to have passed at 15 weeks. When I delivered the baby, there was a tiny bump in the genital area, which was supposed to be the baby's penis. So, we were under the impression that the baby was a boy&#8230; until the autopsy results came back saying girl!

Anyway&#8230; I was thinking about this today when I saw on a site that at 15 weeks you might be able to tell the gender on ultrasound with the right view. With my little one, other than that little bump which I still have no idea what it was, there was nothing obvious going on down there gender wise. So, I'm not sure if that's normal at 15 weeks, or maybe my baby passed earlier. I am certain as to how far along I was, and we heard the baby's HB at 13 weeks. So, it was definitely after that. But, I don't know. *shrug*

It doesn't even really matter at this point, but it is something I wonder about.


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## famille_huggins (Mar 30, 2007)

We had a loss at 22 weeks, and our baby was obviously a boy by then. In this pregnancy, I found out at 12 weeks (with confirmation at 14 weeks) that this baby is a girl, but my doctors were looking at some lines and not the actual genitalia. I'm not sure what they were looking at, but everyone seemed pretty sure.

I think while the genitalia is externally visible fairly early, it looks pretty similar in both sexes for some time still. The autopsy results would be reliable.

That said, I'm extraordinarily sorry for your loss. I know how heartbreaking it is to lose a little one so late.


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## MovingMomma (Apr 28, 2004)

*


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## jess_paez (Jul 5, 2008)

I agree that with autopsy they would be able to know for sure. You know, when Joslyn passed away at 22 weeks...the nurses said "ten fingers, ten toes." Well I wanted to know if my baby was a boy or a girl. I said, "Is it a boy or a girl?" The nurse said, "I don't know, ummmmm............................................ ..........(kept looking)..................It's a girl." It's so hard to tell for sure sometimes, because their bodies are sooo tiny. I'm sorry for your loss mama.







s!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## lisa_nc (Jul 25, 2008)

I was 14 weeks and some change and it was very obviously a little boy. Penis and a little scrotum. I know he was alive up until a few minutes before he was born so the age is a definite as far as when he passed away.

Edited to add that his gender was confirmed at autopsy. But, honestly, it was really very clear to me. Maybe babies just develop at different rates? That would make sense to me.


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## animallover (Nov 20, 2007)

Hi,
We were in May/08 together. The O.B that induced me with our little guy in 2007 refused to do an autopsy saying the baby was too small. My midwife agreed with us that the baby looked like a boy and said he probably passed only a few days before which would be 17 weeks. I think the information you received would send me for a loop. I would be very confused, and hurt in a way...I would have to heal again for a while. I'm sorry for your loss and confusion. Of course it matters and will be one of those things that life deals out. And in time, everything will work through in your head and heart. Hugs mama.


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## onelilguysmommy (May 11, 2005)

if that early, then what you saw was likely her clitoris. that will stick out like a penis until the labia are fully formed and its tucked in there, as its what forms first as far as external genetalia.










im so sorry you had to go through the death of your precious tiny girl!


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## lemurmommies (Jan 15, 2007)

I chose not to see our little one after she was born, but the doctor was able to easily tell that she was a girl. Which confirmed my gut feeling all during my pregnancy, and my son's prediction too. So that was kind of neat.


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## Seedlings (Dec 20, 2007)

I maybe wrong but when I looked I was sure I gave birth to a son. I named him Thomas James. Oh my, I guess I'll know for sure from the autopsy.


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## Vermillion (Mar 12, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *onelilguysmommy* 
if that early, then what you saw was likely her clitoris. that will stick out like a penis until the labia are fully formed and its tucked in there, as its what forms first as far as external genetalia.










im so sorry you had to go through the death of your precious tiny girl!









That makes sense. It was just so odd at the time, that they were so quick to say boy because of this tiny bump, and then come to find out "he" was a "she". Everything else on the baby was already so perfectly formed, so obvious... I had no idea what to expect as far as genetalia.

Anyway, thanks so much for the responses everyone!

*hugs* peace and healing to you all!


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## Amy&4girls (Oct 30, 2006)

I am so sorry for your loss and for the confusion you must be going through.


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## Eliseatthebeach (Sep 20, 2007)

When I delivered my baby girl at 20 weeks, my mw could not determine her sex. I did hold her and look at her but I did not move her legs open. The pathology report confirmed that she was in fact a girl.
I am not sure when she actually passed, we heard a h/b at 18 weeks. As a pp said, maybe babies just develop at different rates. In addition to development differences, I hate to say this but babies do tend to deteriorate once they pass in utero.

I am curious as to why so many here could have had an autopsy on their baby. When I delivered my dd I was told that an autopsy is not possible unless the fetus is more than 1lb. She was just under 1lb so we were not able to have the autopsy.
How were some of you able to have the autopsy on such a small baby?


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## Parker'smommy (Sep 12, 2002)

Elise...I had an autopsy performed on both of my babies. Mason was 20 weeks....and also just under a pound. They offered it...I accepted. The autopsy is different than a pathology in that they open the body up and take a look and see if anything screams at them. They had stuff on there that all of the organs were present and accounted for and the normal size. They didn't notice anything unusual in regards to her autopsy. We never got a cause of death. I asked for an autopsy on Avery born at 17 weeks. She/he was much smaller, and they said they would just do what they could. There was some paperwork malfunction and they can't find the results...I know....so sucks. So I don't know what happened there.


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## lisa_nc (Jul 25, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Eliseatthebeach* 
How were some of you able to have the autopsy on such a small baby?

The pathologist said that it's not like a full autopsy that they do on adults, but they do check major systems and do some tissue samples. He did not weigh his organs or anything like that. I wish that I had not had an autopsy, but to be honest, because I had had our son at home by myself and was in a very protective, private place and did not bring him in for about 48 hours (he was in the freezer), some of the nurses were threatening to call the police.







I was put in a position where I felt like I had to chose my living children over our son, so I tried to do what they said "normal" people do.


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## 2sweetboysmom (Aug 1, 2006)

We discovered our Michael had died when I was 15.5 weeks. I delivered him 1 week later. While his length measured only 12 weeks, he appeared more developed than that. Also I had clearly felt little bumps and nudges until 2 days before we discovered him gone. I am pretty sure we had a growth issue. He was obveously a boy- little penis, with a scrotum beneath (looked very like the ultrasound images I have seen of boys at 20 weeks.) He had the littlest hands but I could see the wrinkles at his knuckles, and where his nail beds were.

I am sorry for those who delt with 'less than understanding' nurses. I was able to keep Michael and hold him until the funeral-home came to pick up his body. I was never told I was strange or "not normal" for how I was dealing with my loss. Many







s to you all.
To quote Dr Seuss. "...after all a person's a person. No matter how small."


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