# Our angel Noelle



## lemurmommies (Jan 15, 2007)

I posted in my DDC and in the Queer and Pregnant thead too, but I wanted to make a special post all her own here in Pregnancy and Birth Loss. This is basically the post I wrote on our blog two days after I gave birth to our little Noelle. I miss her terribly and am dying to forget the pain, but want to remember our beautiful daughter.

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Unfortunately our little family suffered a pretty huge blow this week.

On Wednesday, I went in to our midwives' office for a routine appointment. Everything was going along pretty normally until my midwife E went to look for the baby's heartbeat. She searched and searched with the doppler, but couldn't pick anything up. She called in another midwife, who searched and searched. More silence. They booked me in for an urgent ultrasound to figure out what was going on. Needless to say, I was freaking out.

I drove from our midwives office to pick DP up at work, and we went to the ultrasound office together. They wouldn't let DP into the room with me while they did the scan. Scan done. The poor ultrasound technicians couldn't tell me anything - I had to wait for a call from E to see what was going on. But at this point, I felt deep down that it wasn't going to be good news.

I was right. E called us to say that our precious little one had passed away. She said that we could go in to the hospital that night to speak to someone about our options, or we could wait until the morning. Knowing that a night's sleep wasn't going to change anything in the long run, we chose to wait until Thursday morning to head in.

We went up to the hospital for 9:30am. All of the staff was absolutely fabulous, even though we had never met any of them before. They got my history, went over everything and got us into our own room. We found out that since I was already 18 weeks along, I was essentially going to have my labour induced. Not the happiest thought. But it had to be done.

I had my first dose of Misoprostol at just after noon, and my second dose at just after 4pm. Our little girl, Noelle, was born not long after 7pm. The OB who attended the delivery estimated that she had passed away about three weeks prior. My body just wasn't going to give up on her. It turns out that she was perfect. She just happened to get herself tangled up in her cord and passed away. Stupid dumb luck, as DP would say.

Noelle C.P.
18 weeks and 2 days in utero.
Forever in our hearts.
We miss you baby girl.

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Hugs to all of you who have lost little ones. While I never imagined myself immune to pregnancy and birth loss, I also never thought that I'd be delivering a little angel at 18 weeks along. We're struggling with what to do next; I see my son being so great with other little ones, so compassionate, that I think we will try again so that he can have the chance to be a big brother.

I wish us all healing as we go on our journeys.


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## no5no5 (Feb 4, 2008)

I'm so sorry.


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## Eliseatthebeach (Sep 20, 2007)

My heart is breaking for you, I am so very sorry for your loss.


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## SMR (Dec 21, 2004)

I'm so sorry.. words can't really help. I have found comfort from reading other families stories though.. the loss board sadly, is perfect for that. Many hugs to your family.


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## lisa_nc (Jul 25, 2008)

I am so sorry. We had a second trimester abruption with our son in October. It was the most heartbreaking thing that I have ever experienced. He, too, was perfect. The women here are wonderful, kind, and understanding. You are in my thoughts, mama.


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## briccagrl (Aug 31, 2008)

I am so sorry for your loss
















for you precious little angel


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## JayJay (Aug 1, 2008)

I'm so sorry hun. HUGE hugs. You're in the right place - this place is positive and good for healing. We all stick with one another and nobody gets left behind! We'll all be here for you. Take it one minute at a time. You will survive and you will heal.

*Enormous hugs* XXXXX


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## Fireflyforever (May 28, 2008)

I'm so sorry for the loss of precious baby Noelle (what a beautiful name)


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## nummies (Jun 9, 2007)

I'm so sorry for your loss. Noel is my angel's name as well. So lovely.







Noelle


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## Cuddlebaby (Jan 14, 2003)

Noelle *is* a beautiful name. and I'm VERY sorry...


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## yummymummy2hannah (Aug 23, 2006)

I'm so sorry mama! I lost my son in the second trimester too. He was born into Heaven from a Placenta Abruption. I'm so sorry you know this hurt.







s


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## NullSet (Dec 19, 2004)

I'm so sorry.














Noelle is a beautiful name.


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## Breathless Wonder (Jan 25, 2004)

I am so sorry for your loss.


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## Pearl1 (Aug 29, 2008)

i am so, so sorry to hear about your loss.









~sarah


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## namaste_mom (Oct 21, 2005)

I am sorry for your loss (((HUGS)))








Noelle


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## JenMidwife (Oct 4, 2005)

oh mama, it's just so unfair... I'm so sorry that you have joined this sad sisterhood









Quote:


Originally Posted by *lemurmommies* 
We're struggling with what to do next; I see my son being so great with other little ones, so compassionate, that I think we will try again so that he can have the chance to be a big brother.

That sounds totally reasonable to me. I wish you peace & healing.


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## Aurora (May 1, 2002)

I am so sorry. Noelle is such a beautiful name.








Sweet baby Noelle


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## lemurmommies (Jan 15, 2007)

Thank you all so much for your kind words. Having her arrive so close to Christmas, we thought that Noelle was a perfect name for our little one.

We are now a family of 4 Sagittarrii. It seems that Noelle wanted to be an archer just like the rest of us.


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## michanders4 (Jul 24, 2008)

I am so sorry for your loss







.


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