# Did she have to tell me



## Mom to E and A (Jul 11, 2005)

I feel like a terrible friend, but I am so angry and upset right now. My "best friend" is pregnant and just sent me an e-mail to let me know she had a sonogram today and is having a boy. I know she's excited and I wish I could be too, but I can't. Today is my due date...MY baby should be here or driving me crazy waiting to come out. Why does everything make me want to crawl into a hole? And why can't I do just that???


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## MommyinMN (Oct 18, 2007)

Sometimes even the best of friends don't think. It was insensitive of her not to remember.


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## Gentle~Mommy :) (Apr 21, 2009)

I'm so sorry







that must have been hard to read, I'm sure she didn't mean any harm though.


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## Manessa (Feb 24, 2003)

to you mama. Sometimes people just aren't thinking.


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## Fireflyforever (May 28, 2008)

I'm almost 7 months out and I still want to crawl into a hole sometimes. I still cannot handle pregnant women and newborns - I feel lousy about it because I was always SOO broody and a bit of a cheerleader cum Mary Poppins for my friends (most of whom had children later in life than I did) but that's how it is. You are not a bad friend. Today was always going to be so hard and you should have been able to expect a little bit of sensitivity from a close friend. I'm sure that she was sending you the email to try and give you the message that she doesn't want to exclude her from her good news but maybe holding the email back for a few days might have shown that she was thinking about you. I don't think it's unreasonable to expect special treatment (i.e not being copied in to mass emails) when it comes to pregnancy and baby announcements, not when you've been through what we have.


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## jtrt (Feb 25, 2009)

I am so sorry, momma. And who is to say you can't crawl in a warm, soft, supportive hole of your own making? May I suggest that you plan some time this weekend to curl up on the couch with your softest blanket and rest your soul? I can only imagine what a heart-wrenching day this is for you. I am sending you gentle hugs and my sincerest condolences.


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## SMR (Dec 21, 2004)

I'm so sorry.. nothing about this is easy. I got two phone calls (which I let the machine get) in the month after Dresden was born about babies being born.. babies that were supposed to be his pals growing up, babies I was supposed to be thrilled to hear the news of their arrival.. but all I could think was they have their babies, and I don't.







It's hard, and I think friends and family normally understand, and are just trying to not leave us out, ya know?


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## lovbeingamommy (Jun 17, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mom to E and A* 
I feel like a terrible friend, but I am so angry and upset right now. My "best friend" is pregnant and just sent me an e-mail to let me know she had a sonogram today and is having a boy. I know she's excited and I wish I could be too, but I can't. Today is my due date...MY baby should be here or driving me crazy waiting to come out. Why does everything make me want to crawl into a hole? And why can't I do just that???









I am so sorry to hear what has happened







...people sometimes don't understand and "do" before "thinking" about the consequences for others. During my second consecutive m/c my MIL/FIL were here to watch my 3yo because I needed to go to the ER because of so much bleeding. I remember her leaning up against my bookcase in the bedroom while I was trying to rehydrate after the bleeding almost stopped and she comes out with, "Oh, did you know that so and so (her granddaugghter) is pregnant again?"







:







:







: I love her and I know she didn't want to hurt me, but that's one of those comments that is forever burned into my memory and it does still hurt as my dd would've been this past Saturday.


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## MI_Dawn (Jun 30, 2005)

Oh for pete's sake! Don't people THINK before they speak... er... email?? ?








:

Is it really too much to ask? *sigh*


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## Amy&4girls (Oct 30, 2006)

I'm so sorry.


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## NullSet (Dec 19, 2004)

I'm sorry


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## expatmommy (Nov 7, 2006)

You are not a terrible friend at all.







She shouldn't have forgotten. It was insensitive to send the email at all, but to send it on your due date makes it hurt even more.


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## mamacita angelica (Oct 6, 2006)

i'm so sorry.








that was beyond insensitive of your friend. thinking of you and your little one on this day.


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## rsummer (Oct 27, 2006)

NOT THAT YOU NEED IT, but I am giving you my permission to curl up, drink hot chocolate, read a trashy romance novel, and shop on line, or partake in any other coping/self soothing activites that are attractive to you.

It was going to be a hard time, without it getting thrown in your face. I am sorry she wasn't more there for you instead.







s


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