# Would you say anything? Serious mis-use of infant carseat



## Awaken (Oct 10, 2004)

This has had me tied up in knots for a couple weeks. Every day when I go pick up my son from school, I pass a car in the pick-up line (we walk to school so we walk past this car every day waiting to pick up a child) that has an infant in a seriously dangerous carseat set-up. The baby is forward-facing, with the infant seat without a base, tipped forward like a convertible seat, and a seatbelt over top of it. The straps are so loose, I have seen the woman take the baby out of the seat without even undoing the straps. The baby appears to be ~8-9 mos old I'd guess and likely well below the 20# minimum for forward-facing. The woman appears to be a grandmother or daycare provider- I'm just guessing (and yes, making assumptions).

I'm having nightmares over what could happen to this baby if they get into even a minor accident! Would you say something to the woman in a friendly way? (Which would be kind of weird b/c I'd have to knock on her car window as a stranger, which personally I would not appreciate at all if someone did that to me esp. w/ kids in the car!) Say something to the school staff? (staff members are also there, helping the schoolchildren into cars- the baby is not within their domain, of course, but maybe they'd have more "authority" or reason to mention something to this woman than I do?) Ask that the school send out a general notice about carseat safety and where to get free checks done? (But then the message may not get to the person who needs it.)

I hate to act like "it's not my problem" yet I don't want to butt in if, for some reason that I don't know, there is a good reason for the baby to be in a seat like that ??? And these days, you never know if people are going to retaliate or get angry and do something to you or your kids (sad that you'd have to consider that.). I would hate to hear something happened, and know that I could have said something but didn't


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## jksmith (Nov 17, 2010)

I would give her license plate # to the police. There is safety info on car seats everywhere, often right on the seat, obviously this woman is choosing to ignore it. She needs to realize how serious it is by getting a big fine or being charged or something. Especially if she's not the mom... I would want to know if someone wasn't properly buckling my baby!


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## MacKinnon (Jun 15, 2004)

I would probably start by asking the school staff if they've noticed. Chances are they have, and just don't know what/how to say something. You could then provide a handout or something to them to give to the parent/caregiver. When I notice really bad car seat situations at my son's child care center I tell the director. The director then handles it, she's really good about it, and never takes a "it's not my business" approach. She just informs them, you're doing X it's against the law in Michigan to do X. Here is information about the law and where you can get help with your seat.

I had this happen at our doctors office, and they had noticed, and knew it was an issue (this was a FFing infant only seat with a toddler in it, like 2 ish and 30ish pounds?). They had mentioned to her they didn't think it was safe, but didn't know exactly what the law was or where to direct her for help, and they said they would be happy to give her what I had. (We see a family practice doc, and the child wasn't under their care).


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## LaughingHyena (May 4, 2004)

Would you be able to help the school organise a car seat check at the school? That is something we've had here. If you couple give the registration to the people checking and get one of them to be around at pick up then maybe the message would get to here even if she didn't attend the check.

We've had letters home from school about car safety and the police do regular patrols in the area around drop off and pick up times.


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## elus0814 (Sep 21, 2009)

My guess is that it's a grandmother who knows it's not the correct way to use the seat but is one of those "it was ok in the 50's so it's ok now" people. She was probably told to use the seat and puts it in the way she wants to. She might think it's nice for the baby to be able to look around. I would knock on the window and say something like "I noticed your car seat, they're so confusing now, would you like me to do the install for you?". I would avoid saying anything along the lines of "that's wrong, I'll fix it". If she doesn't want the help they're nothing much you can do, she is responsible for that child and can choose to use or not use a car seat correctly. If she gets pulled over they'll help her.


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## Ella Enchanted (Mar 6, 2011)

If you talk to her, chances are she'll get defensive thinking you're "just another mom, what makes her think she knows better". In your shoes, I'd talk to the school first, then, if they can't/won't intervene, get the plate number and call the local police department for assistance.


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## Awaken (Oct 10, 2004)

Thanks for your responses! I tend to get worked up about things and say something, and then regret making a big deal out of nothing aftewards. So I'm glad other people think this is worth speaking up about! My unease is compounded by the fact that we're new to the school, so I don't know the staff very well, and don't know "how things are done" in general and feel weird being a new person. I think I'll say something to the staff and see how they respond, and be happy to provide any kids of handouts on the laws, where to get carseat checks, etc if they want to pass out general info too. I'll let you know how it goes!

jksmith- I'd want to know if it were my baby, too!!


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## Awaken (Oct 10, 2004)

Hey there, I just wanted to post an update! It took me a while to take care of this b/c the time was never right to talk to the woman or the school staff- it's basically a moving line of cars, and the staff are trying to match the right kids with cars andkeep the line moving, so they weren't free to talk and neither was the woman. And my son is being dismissed at the same time and waiting for me!

So in addition to the baby in the unsae carseat, the 5 yr old jumps in the car every day with no booster seat OR seatbelt, just bouncing around back there!

I finally caught one of the school staff last week, and mentioned that every day when I pass by I see someone with a really unsafe carseat situation She said they have noticed, and said something to her many times but she never makes any changes. I figured, if she hasn't been responsive to the school I may as well give it a try as a concerned stranger! (But then why did the school just drop it and continue to put a student into the car in a dangerous situation and not call the parents?!)

I was super nervous, had no idea if she was going to yell at me or hate me from then on or what. I tried to be as friendly as possible and let her know I was worried about the baby, since she should be rearfacingand the straps were very loose. I told her about the free carseat installation a few blocks away and she seemed open to me giving her info but said she didn't understand much english. So it took a week, but today she finally had the seat rearfacing and with a base! I gave her the contact info for a few installation places and a low-cost booster seat program, the state law, and the new aap guidelines. She said she hd talked to the baby's mother, and will go for an appointment.

hopefully that's 2 kids who are safer in the car. I'm glad i said something. but now i'm seeing egregious situations everywhere with kids totally unrestrained, riding in the front seat, etc and it makes me sad that they can't all be reached!


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## MacKinnon (Jun 15, 2004)

How fabulous! It's so rare to see a "stranger comment" turn out so fabulously! Good job Mama!


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