# Not pushing during labour- confused



## Astraia (Jan 1, 2009)

I never asked my midwife about it directly with my first baby (and won't ask my OB for this one, I know what he'll say) but I'm confused about the information out there about pushing the baby out.

Info says: it's dangerous to do long, directed pushing. It reduces oxygen to mom and baby, blah blah blah.

BUT... then you're still pushing.

It says that 10 cm is an arbitrary number, and we should wait for the urge to push

BUT.... if you push too soon, even with the urge, that you can bruise/tear your cervix.

Then there's the subsect (is that a word?) of women who don't push at all- their bodies do it for them, like the birth story I read about the woman who "breathed" her baby down.

When I had my daughter, the midwife said when I asked about pushing, "whatever gets the baby out most effectively is the method we'll use, and the position we'll use." And then I had 2 hours of very directed pushing, with no urge to push at the beginning, to the point where I tore during crowning because I pushed when they told me to even though I KNEW it was wrong to push then, and I should wait longer (sometimes I "fake" pushed just to shut them up, ha).

So.... do you push? Do you not push? Could my baby have come out without pushing? What about malpositioned babies?

I'd really like to not push for this next delivery (or at the very least, only push when I feel like, no direction at all) but I'm so confused by the information out there that I don't even know how possible it is.

Help?!?!

(I'll not be on to reply til tomorrow, I'm going to bed now!)


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## katelove (Apr 28, 2009)

I favour non-directed pushing in almost every circumstance. I encourage the woman to push when she feels the urge and rest when she doesn't. This prevents exhaustion and maximises foetal oxygen delivery. Partly because with directed pushing a woman is often told to hold her breath and push whereas with self-directed pushing this happens less often.

I have personally never seen a baby born with no pushing at all (although I have read birth stories) but, I have seen women get to head on view without actively pushing (although there is usually some involuntary pushing).


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## faerierose (Jul 9, 2006)

During my last labor I had involuntary pushing as soon as my water broke. There was nothing I could have done to 'not' push and it was all I could do just to rest between contractions. My ds was not positioned right, his face was presenting instead of the top of his head. I did need to do a little extra pushing to get his head all the way out but it was with the pushing my body was already doing if that makes any sense.
I did not feel like I "breathed" him out. It still felt like pushing only something else had taken away the control, it's kind of hard to explain.


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## Juvysen (Apr 25, 2007)

I believe directed pushing affects oxygen for the baby because it encourages mom to hold her breath... but I could be wrong.

Many women will have some "down time"after transition before the urge to push kicks in, but after they're 10 cm. Like, their bodies are trying to give them a rest before the big push. Directed pushing pretty much doesn't allow for that.

I didn't push w/my second (I "breathed" him down), but not on purpose... it was because he was coming out so fast on his own, if I pushed along with it I would tear. Anyway, considering reading some Michael Odent... he has some interesting things to say on this topic, I think.


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## pinksprklybarefoot (Jan 18, 2007)

With DS, I pushed when I felt like it and did my best to ignore everyone else in the room. I definitely couldn't have avoided pushing when I felt the urge - I had that "throwing up downwards" sensation that a lot of mamas talk about. It took about 15 minutes but wasn't the most calm situation in the world because the MW was worried about the baby getting enough oxygen - I had pre-e. I really had the urge to yell "Everybody just shut up and let me do this! I've got it under control."

With birth, I believe that in most cases, your body will know what to do. It is just listening to it amid all of the other things that are going on (especially if you have a hospital birth) that can be the tough part.


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## Ceili (Nov 21, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Juvysen* 
Many women will have some "down time"after transition before the urge to push kicks in, but after they're 10 cm. Like, their bodies are trying to give them a rest before the big push. Directed pushing pretty much doesn't allow for that.

This was true for me. I remember hitting that "I can't do this anymore" place and my midwife assured me that meant the hard part was done. I got back in the tub and everyone took a catnap. I remember waking up to my body pushing, it was completely involuntary. There was nothing I could have done or not done at that point, I just sort of held on for the ride.


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## laohaire (Nov 2, 2005)

The default is to let your body decide when and how to push. It's an involuntary reflex.

Some women never get the reflex (at least for a particular birth/position). Then you go to Plan B, but not purple-pushing, just mother-directed pushing.

The big question is how long to wait for the reflex. Many women don't start pushing right when they complete transition. Sometimes their bodies rest for a little while, then start pushing. So I would wait for a while before starting to push.

But even then, it's really important to act based on specific conditions. If everything is hunky-dory and mom is getting a nice rest, then wait. Me, I pushed for 6 hours (just the reflex pushing), then decided baby needed to come out. I purposefully pushed her out and tore myself a good one, but I'm glad I decided not to wait anymore.


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## AnnR33 (Aug 1, 2002)

With my first I was told when to push and it was not easy at all. Luckily I only had to push for about 20 min but it was not "natural" at all. I had the urge to push but they kept yelling to push when I wasn't having the urge and it was all confusing to me since I didn't know what the heck was supposed to happen.

With my 2nd and 3rd it was definitely reflex. I had the urge and it just happened, I couldn't really stop it. I only had had about 3 or 4 pushes with the 2nd and she practically flew out.

With my 3rd I never actually pushed, the baby just spontaneously slid out and DH caught him. I had one urge to push but held back just because I had to get my pants off LOL but then he just slid out!


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## Astraia (Jan 1, 2009)

Towards the end (I'd say the last 30 minutes or so?) I had an urge to push, and there was nothing I could've done to stop it, but I was definitely encouraged to hold my breath, put my chin on my chest, and push. I listened to a degree- I sneakily took breaths while I was supposed to be holding it, I refused to put my chin on my chest (despite the midwife pushing on the back of my head), but I pushed because I couldn't help it.

I just kept thinking, the whole way through, "this isn't what I wanted, and how necessarily is all of it?" But was too exhausted or in la-la land to say anything.

So for the people who "breathe" the baby down, do you think this means that they didn't have a pushing reflex, but it happened anyway? Or that their labours were just so fast that the baby slid out? (Just making me think of the stories of women put under with a general anesthetic, and waking up in time to see the baby slide out unattended by anyone... I guess your body must do SOMETHING, even if you're not cognisant enough to actively participate?)

Thanks for the replies ladies, it's making more sense to me at least!


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## meganmarie (Jan 29, 2005)

One thing I did was to wait a little, even after I started feeling a pushing urge/reflex. This was because my OB hadn't shown up yet, but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Lying on my side and breathing to relax, I could feel what my body was trying to do. There was a rhythm and a flow to each pushing contraction that I could understand. By the time doctor showed up and I was "allowed" to officially "push!", I was very inward-focused and ready to push in a way that I think helped what my body was doing anyway. I don't remember if there was any "direction" or not because I was ignoring it...except at the very end when baby was crowning and the dr was giving me suggestions to slow down or push harder that were directly related to getting baby out those last inches efficiently without tearing.


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## Juvysen (Apr 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Astraia* 

So for the people who "breathe" the baby down, do you think this means that they didn't have a pushing reflex, but it happened anyway? Or that their labours were just so fast that the baby slid out? (Just making me think of the stories of women put under with a general anesthetic, and waking up in time to see the baby slide out unattended by anyone... I guess your body must do SOMETHING, even if you're not cognisant enough to actively participate?)


your body will do it anyway. Pushing just gives a little extra OOMPF to the contractions. I believe what happened to me was the "Fetal ejection reflex" where my body decided baby should come out and practically immediately he did. To put it in perspective... 20 minutes before he was on my chest, I was at 7 cm and my water broke. 7 minutes before he came out I said "I think I have to poo" and the midwife said "is it that or is the baby coming down?" and I said I don't know. Turns out he was on his way out. I "didn't push" through three contractions... he just shot out like a cannon. It hurt like an SOB, and I was sure that my vagina was being blown out and I would need hundreds of stitches, which is why I was doing my damndest not to push... they kept telling me I would tear if I pushed. After all that I ended up with only a "hangnail" - no stitches needed, and very little soreness. So weird.

Weird, because this year we started bike riding and I realized that my butt was more sore from riding my bike than it was the day after I gave birth to Oliver


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## CrunchyChristianMama (Dec 5, 2008)

I had a very strange experience with pushing. My body started pushing involuntarily and I didn't really realize it. I heard my midwife say in the background that she thought my body was pushing a little because of the grunting she could hear in my breathing. So I decided to go with it and start pushing voluntarily as well. It took away every ounce of pain from the contractions so I thought I was doing a good thing. Then when she checked my DD's position maybe 15-30 minutes into this my cervix had swollen up and DD couldn't get through. 6 hours of trying to get rid of the swelling later I ended up with an epi because the swelling wouldn't go down and I had been having double and triple peaking transition type contractions that entire 6 hours. I struggle now with knowing what I will do during my next labor because I don't trust my body's pushing reflex.


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## caiesmommy (Feb 26, 2007)

I didn't realize I was in full labour w ds until my water broke and I started pushing. I didn't even know I was pushing until the midwife showed up thinking I was in beginning stages of labour to see me hanging off the side of my bed squatting...I was told to pant until another midwife got there....seriously pant! I told her to shove her panting up her a$$...dh knew that something serious was up then LOL

With dd I had more direct pushing(not much, there was just a point that dd started freaking out a bit, so we really pushed out the last two pushes)...and the next day I felt a lot more bum pain.


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## Astraia (Jan 1, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *caiesmommy* 
I didn't realize I was in full labour w ds until my water broke and I started pushing. I didn't even know I was pushing until the midwife showed up thinking I was in beginning stages of labour to see me hanging off the side of my bed squatting...I was told to pant until another midwife got there....seriously pant! I told her to shove her panting up her a$$...dh knew that something serious was up then LOL

With dd I had more direct pushing(not much, there was just a point that dd started freaking out a bit, so we really pushed out the last two pushes)...and the next day I felt a lot more bum pain.


Oh, hemorrhoids







Yeah, I had bum pain and obviously pain from the tears for a few days after. I would love to avoid that sort of thing, if at all possible, this time around. I can't imagine the people who get up and make dinner right after having a baby. I was so shakey from the effort of pushing, not to mention feeling like my insides were going to come out my vagina, that I was leaning against the wall in the shower, trying to keep my legs together as much as possible without putting pressure on my hugely swollen everything. So much fun!

That's maybe one of the things that confuses me about UC- like Evie's mama said, you can get a pushing reflex and urge without really being at the point where you should push. If it's that confusing... how do you do it? I have so many of these random questions that I'd love to figure out, but if I posted them all, you'd all get very annoyed!


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## Incubator (May 11, 2006)

I definitely experienced involuntary pushing with my second baby, a UC.

Towards the end of my labor (of course I had no idea it was the end at the time) I was staring to "feel pushy" that is, I felt that pushing would help relieve the pressure I was feeling during contractions. My husband and I had tried twice, unsuccessfully, to measure my cervix, because I was terrified of the prospect of pushing with a lip and causing myself to swell.
I decided the best I could do was to go with what I was feeling, and accept that because we were on our own, I might have to transfer to a hospital if I wasn't reading my body correctly. I pushed gently with a contraction while squatting next to the bed and felt my water break with a small splash. I realise NOW that she must have engaged right then and I went into transition. At the time, however, I just thought "Wow, so THAT'S what it feels like when the water breaks."

The "pushy" feeling stopped when my water broke. So I labored on the bed for awhile, and then started feeling like I needed to puke. It flickered in my mind for a moment that I might be in transition, but then I got into the pool and labor obliterated all thoughts for awhile. Suddenly, like out of nowhere my body went "RAWWWRR!" and I felt my (huge) baby coming down the birth canal. At that moment I stopped worrying about a lip. I felt that if my body had begun to push then there was NO LIP. I felt like I came through this uncertain period in my labor. Before this happened I was at that point where every woman says she quits, she's tired, had enough. On top of that I was doubting how far dilated I may or may not be. Then my body started pushing and all of that went away. I no longer had any doubt, and suddenly I could do it again. I was ecstatic, it worked! My body worked and here I was "pushing" but not pushing, and about to meet my baby! When crowing came I put my hands on my perineum to help me slow things down, like I was reminding my body that we'd like to stay in one piece down below. I still hadn't purposely pushed up to that point. Her head came halfway out and then the contractions and pushing stopped. She stared "turtling" and that was a bit spooky. I shifted my legs around, squatting, kneeling, one leg up, one down... I got impatient for the contractions to come back so I pushed on purpose and popped her head out. I waited a bit while I stroked her face then pushed pushed pushed, to get her body out.
I feel that if it hadn't been for the shoulder dystocia, I wouldn't have had to push at all.


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## Mamatoabunch (Sep 23, 2007)

I have only pushed w/ desire, one HB and rest UC. I have pushed in two labors before I was fully dilated, I had desire and went w/ it. No problems at all.


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## Astraia (Jan 1, 2009)

Incubator- that's really neat that you're body got "pushy" to get the baby into the right place, and then it faded out again until it was really time.

I think it's so awesome that our bodies know just what to do and when to do it to make the birth of a baby possible. I will never cease to be amazed at the beauty and strength behind pregnancy, labour, birth, and then watching your child grow up.

DH and I have been talking about what we could do different financially/job wise to allow us to have a BIG family. Now that I've had one, I never want to stop!


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## Whittliz (Oct 5, 2006)

Because my DD was breech, my midwife asked me to not push and let the baby come on her own. That was the hardest part of my whole labor. I also had the "throwing up downwards" sensation where my whole body heaved with the desire to push. I do think it was the best thing to do in my particular situation, BUT...if my next baby is head down I will absolutely push along with that sensation and follow my body's cues.

I think a woman should almost always follow her cues about pushing rather than be told my care provider how to push.


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