# Friends baby not develpoing organs



## Emilie (Dec 23, 2003)

A new friend of mines baby is not developing organs.... she is 4.5 along. the baby is alive with a heart- but no organs or amniotic fluid....
she has to decide whether to induce delivery now- or continue on with the pg and deliver when it happens naturally.... either way the baby will die soon after....







:
I am so sad for her and do not even know what to pray for....
Can anyone offer words of wisdom? This is just no decision anyone should have to make.....


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

I can't answer the question for your friend. But I can say what I would do. I just lost my son at 18 wks. If given the choice to continue with the pregnancy knowing that he would eventually die anyway, I would. There would be a possibility that the baby would survive until near or at term birth, then I would have a chance to hold and love on the baby before losing him. I could never bring myself to end my baby's life (and for me, if there is a heart beat there is life) for any reason. Even if I knew that the baby would die at birth, I would still hold out for the end, just to hold him in my arms one time.

But that is just what I would do.


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## Emma's_Mommy (Apr 28, 2006)

hugs to your friend i don't know what i would do....

i didnt want to read your post and not respond!


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## crayon (Aug 24, 2002)

Ah, that is so hard. Either way the pain is the same- it is still a loss of a child







That is just so hard. I do not have U/S so I guess for me I would not have even known- and I think even if I knew I would let my body do it natural- less physical pain. But, like I said, I have not been faced with that choice.

Hugs to your friend- this is a hard time for her and her family.

Maybe make her a nice warm pasta meal or something and bring it over one night- just so she doesn't have to think about making dinner on top of everything.








for her baby


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## crayon (Aug 24, 2002)

sorry- my sumbit button is sticking....


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## egoldber (Nov 18, 2002)

I would just be there for your friend regardless of what she decides to do. It is a very personal decision. Some people choose to carry the child to spend as much time as possible with the baby and experiencing the pregnancy. Other people cannot bear the thought of continuing and having to face all the cheery "when are you due? is it a boy or a girl?" comments from strangers, and feel a need to move on and gain closure.

Remembering your friend's baby as time goes on will be important too. Many people are very helpful and supportive in the immediate days after a loss, but that support typically dwindles after a few weeks. Her grief will last forever and the loss will always be a part of her.


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## Emilie (Dec 23, 2003)

I know.... thank you all for your support and thoughts...
It is so personal.... I try not to think what I would do... you just do not know until you are faced with that.... I can not imagine. This is her first pregnancy.
Some of our friends are going in on a massage package gift certificate for her... she is new here- and a new friend of mine.
I am going to make her something food wise too... maybe bruschetta-
thank you again...
can anyone think of anything to do for her dh? he is very hurt to-


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## fireshifter (Sep 2, 2005)

I'm so sorry for your friend.

Jen


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## lestouffer (Jul 2, 2002)

I took the other road. I chose to end my pregnancies, I needed my memories to be what I wanted them to be, not realities. I couldn't handle the rest of the pregnancy emotioanlly, knowing that they were dying. That being said, I was getting sicker and sicker too, so I took myown health (and that of the rest of my family) into consideration here. I already had children who needed their mommy and I couldn't be their mommy in my emotional or physical state.

ButI agree, no matter what the choice, remembering your friends baby months, even years from now is important. I sometimes feel that I am the only one who remembers our sons. My kitchen is painted grey in memory of our first son (it was my husbands way of coping with his grief (which he has never said) and will remain so for ever.

So many people shut down when this happens, maybe just going to their house and ehlping with their housework or somethign and being there if she should want to talk.


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## Emilie (Dec 23, 2003)

thanks. the baby was born last thursday. The baby is gone. My friend is not doing well.
thank you for the support and prayers.


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## greanmama (Oct 30, 2005)

Both you and your friend and her family are in my thoughts and prayers. I do not know what I do if I was your friend. Any supportive thing you all do -- food, massage, cleaning, shopping -- is going to be needed and valued. Your friend will need to talk lots and just be quiet lots. Sounds like you and she were brought to eachother for a purpose greater then you may know.

Love and light,
Kim


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## Ducky5306 (Jul 2, 2006)

Sorry to hear about your friend.. have you ever been to earthmamanagelbaby they have baby loss comfort gifts..







sometimes someone knowing you care really helps

http://www.earthmamaangelbaby.com/he...arts.htmlgifts








: for your friend


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## Emilie (Dec 23, 2003)

thank you so much. we will be getting that kit for her.


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## KrystalC (Aug 1, 2006)

I'm so sorry for your friend's loss. She's very lucky to have a friend who cares so much for her.


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