# Is it safe to let baby sleep on me?



## BlueWolf (Jul 21, 2008)

DD is 2 weeks old, and the only way either one of us can get some sleep is if I lay down in our recliner chair with her on my chest. Then we can sleep for 2-4 hours, nurse, and then sleep some more. She will not sleep in her bassinet, swing, bouncer, or anything else... just laying on my chest. Is this safe? Am I putting my baby at risk for SIDS? (We sleep chest to chest)

How do I get her to sleep on her back in her bassinet?


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## Heidi74 (Jan 21, 2009)

I, personally, would not...although I'll admit that it's happened a couple of times when I've been exhausted. I don't know about recliners, but sofas are one of the sleeping spots where parents are warned not to co-sleep with their baby...and I would think recliners would fall in the same category.

Have you tried a sling or baby carrier like a Mei Tai? The description of your baby sounds just like my DS1. (DS2 so far seems to be completely different.) For the first few months of DS1s life, we literally could not put him down anywhere. We co-slept at night (made sure the bed was safe) and carried him in a Mei Tai or sling non-stop during the day. I found that if he fell asleep in the Mei Tai, we could transfer him to his bassinet once he had slept for about 15-20 minutes and was in a deep state of sleep. (His arms would go limp...that was one way we knew he was sleeping soundly enough.) Then, we would undo the carrier, carefully place the carrier and him in his bassinett, swaddle the blanket around him, and I could lie down for a while. Alternatively, I would transfer him from the carrier to our bed and we'd co-sleep.

I feel for you, because I know exactly what it's like. It gets better, I promise....


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## SandraS (Jan 18, 2007)

I can tell you that you're not putting your baby at risk for SIDS - science has no idea what it is, there's no cause, _no prevention_, and no cure. And it's so pathetically rare it shouldn't ever enter your mind again!

Lots of people sleep like that. I did with all four. As long as you're not drunk, on medication, or really REALLY overly tired, you are aware of babe and should be okay.

But it's up to you. I did it, millions of others do it, "experts" say not to (of course experts tell you a lot of misinformation)... but I say if it gets you and babe sleep, go for it.

ETA: Oh, none of mine would ever sleep on their backs. They all tummy slept from birth, right beside me in bed. I didn't lose a minute of sleep over it, and they slept FANTASTIC. No flat heads, no gas/reflux, no startle reflex, nothing but glorious sleep.


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## FeingoldMomma (Apr 23, 2008)

_When our baby was little, having him sleep on our chests was the only way we got any sleep at night. If I put him in his bassinet, he cried within 30 minutes, and on rare occasions making it as long as an hour before crying. That pretty much equals no sleep for anyone. So I tucked a couple pillows behind me, so I was at a slight incline, and laid him on my chest in our bed. No place for him to get trapped, and my breasts made a nice prop for him to lay against. We were skin to skin (except for my nursing bra), and I was able to keep tabs on his breathing since he was laying on me. My DH also took his turns with Danny sleeping on him, and he said it gave him clear insight into just how irregular a sleeping baby's breathing can be._

_On nights when Danny still couldn't sleep, I put on my Moby wrap, and went into the other room and rocked with the baby in the wrap til he finally fell asleep. Then we'd go back to bed. He slept so much better on our chests, and we slept better, that we continued to bed share, and are still doing it now - though he doesn't sleep on our chests anymore.







When he was little, he slept on me or in the wrap, I didn't leave him alone on the bed. Now that he's almost a year, he sleeps there for naptime by himself (we pull the covers down so there's nothing for him to mess with), or on me sometimes._

_I wouldn't advise sleeping on the recliner though. It's a quick way for baby to get trapped._

_ETA: And like Sandra, both of my sons have been tummy sleepers. After getting my DH used to the idea (if the baby can sleep on his tummy while sleeping on us, it's obviously not going to harm him) and once the baby started rolling by 6 weeks to his tummy on purpose, I convinced DH that it wasn't worth the lost sleep to try and turn the baby over._


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## hotharmony (Apr 14, 2008)

I wouldn't do it, but I don't think your at a higher risk for SIDS this way. However if you feel into a deep sleep and the little one was moving around you could drop him off the recliner or into a crevice of the recliner.

For me we coslept from birth so I could cuddle him at night and nurse when he woke up.


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## Birdie B. (Jan 14, 2008)

Yes - the only way our daughter would sleep at first was on our chests







It only lasted 6-7 weeks I think. It was wonderful - I loved cuddling her like that. I would be very very careful in the recliner, because if you fall asleep and she slips off your chest, she could get trapped. Can you prop up some pillows in the bed so you're elevated and sleep there? That way if she rolls off your chest she has a flat surface to land on.

Enjoy this time!


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## peacefulT (Oct 23, 2008)

I WOULDN"T DO IT .... I think on a sofa, chair , etc .. with a baby that small is extremely dangerous ... I hate to scare you but my friends baby who was 2 weeks old fell asleep on dad's chest on the sofa and dad fell asleep too (not medicated, drunk or any of the others) for about an hour or so time and when he woke up his baby had rolled into his armpit and couldn't get out and died .. it was a very sad accident .. with that said I am for co sleeping .. safely .. and believe at such a young age as your babe .. you should be very careful .. I know many people do this with their babes .. but I think you should know of the dangers that come along with it .. I second the idea of a carrier or sling .. or sleeping in the bed next to babe .. Good Luck !


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## BlueWolf (Jul 21, 2008)

How do I safely sleep in bed with baby?


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## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

I'm surprised so many of you didn't do this w/your newborns!!!
DD slept on my chest or DH's chest for the first few weeks of life. It was a rare moment when she would sleep in her pack and play or actually on the bed. Babies match their breathing with who they are sleeping on and I believe I read that it *does* help reduce SIDS b/c you are physically with your baby and can jostle her if her breathing stops.
To safely sleep w/ baby in the bed, just clear away all the pillows, blankets, and make sure your bed isn't too "soft" - as in fluffy where the sheets could come up over her face and block her breathing. Put baby in the middle unless you have a bed rail on the side or a wall just in case she rolls (even though she is small, babies can scoot a bit!).
As long as whomever is sleeping w/her isn't medicated, intoxicated, et al, cosleeping is perfectly safe.
Enjoy your baby!







:


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## Heidi74 (Jan 21, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BlueWolf* 
How do I safely sleep in bed with baby?

We've used the suggestions in Elizabeth Pantley's "No Cry Sleep Solution" to set up our bed. I found a link to them online for you:

http://babyparenting.about.com/od/sl.../cosleep_2.htm


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## SandraS (Jan 18, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BlueWolf* 
How do I safely sleep in bed with baby?

http://safebedsharing.org/


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## moonlight mom (May 19, 2007)

I slept with my dd on my chest for the first 2 months. I wouldn't be comfortable with dh doing it though.


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## LisaG (Feb 23, 2003)

Slept with dd on chest all the time in the beginning. It helped me sleep easier because I could feel her breathing. And on more than one occasion I've slept with her on my chest on the couch. Some nights she's congested and sleeping more upright helps her breathe easier. But I'm a light sleeper and don't move when I'm asleep and neither does she.


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## kssinca (Dec 17, 2006)

I slept with DS on my chest for the first week. I couldn't continue after that because he was suffocating me! I'd be dreaming that someone was trying to choke me and I'd wake up and DS would be pressing his head against my throat!! We cosleep but he's been sleeping in his crib (which is right next to our bed) more at night. I bring him into bed with us when he has his early morning feed.


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## Summersquash (Jul 23, 2009)

DD STILL takes her naps on my chest at 8 months. It's the only way I have found that she'll stay asleep for more than 20-30 minutes at a time. Lately she's also been wanting to sleep on my chest at night as well. I think she's going through some developmental milestones and things where she wants that extra extra closeness of being right on me. We sleep this way in the bed though, not in a recliner.

I try not to stress over it too much, but I do sometimes wonder at what age she'll need me less at sleeping time.


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## BlueWolf (Jul 21, 2008)

Thank you all for your responses. I've been struggling with PPD and overly anxious about EVERYTHING. It's good to know I'm not alone, even if it's not the most ideal situation.

Sleeping in bed with baby scares me, since we have a soft mattress. It's not a pillow top, but it is very soft. Plus then I worry about losing baby in bed, rolling over onto baby, etc etc... while in the chair I'm limited to sleeping on my back, which I'm okay with. A couple years ago I shattered my arm and they put me in a gravity sling instead of surgery with screws and plates to fix the bone. I was forced to sleep upright in a recliner chair for 4 months while the bones set. So, sleeping in the recliner is nothing new to me. Plus, I'm such a light sleeper, if she moves or emits a baby sound, I'm awake.


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## LisaG (Feb 23, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BlueWolf* 
I've been struggling with PPD and overly anxious about EVERYTHING. It's good to know I'm not alone, even if it's not the most ideal situation.









Anxiety sucks. I hope things settle for you and you feel better. It's rough enough being a mama without that in the mix.


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## Beene (May 19, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BlueWolf* 
DD is 2 weeks old, and the only way either one of us can get some sleep is if I lay down in our recliner chair with her on my chest. Then we can sleep for 2-4 hours, nurse, and then sleep some more. She will not sleep in her bassinet, swing, bouncer, or anything else... just laying on my chest. Is this safe? Am I putting my baby at risk for SIDS? (We sleep chest to chest)

IMO, it is not only safe, it's great. My DS slept only on my chest until he was about 2 months old. It was peaceful. He could hear my heartbeat, I could feel his. He heard and felt me breathing with him (which actually probably reduces risk of SIDS). But, I always slept with him like this in the bed with no obstructions. I knew that I would wake up if he started slipping off and always had at least one hand on him. If you trust yourself to be alert enough to not roll over, I say go for it. I was always very aware of him and I still slept wonderfully. By the way, when he outgrew the chest to chest thing he let me know and now sleeps peacefully next to me on his back or side. Now he thinks chest to chest is for playing, not naps.







:


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## sunflwrmoonbeam (Oct 9, 2006)

When Evie was about a week old she had a few nights where she'd ONLY sleep on my chest. The first time it happened DH was nervous and watched me (it was a bad night), but since then it's been fine.

Technically she's sleeping on my chest right now, though upright in the moby wrap. It's her favorite spot to nap.


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## fruitfulmomma (Jun 8, 2002)

I just skimmed the other posts, but pp's are correct... SIDs is NOT suffocation. It is NOT parents rolling over on their children while sleeping together. The bedsharing "issue" is suffocation, not SIDs. Two totally seperate things.

I would not sleep in the recliner with her because I would be afraid of her rolling into the chair. But I always sleep chest to chest with my newborns, I just do it in the middle of my king size bed.


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## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Hugs regarding the anxiety and PPD. It's a tough road and I sympathize.

You know how I like to think of it? You know how even when you're asleep you are aware of where the edge of the bed is? That's how it feels when you sleep next to the baby. You are aware even in your sleep that the baby is there and the chances of you really smothering the baby are slim. I guess I can't say it *won't* happen, but it's got to be really, really rare.

Do you have pets that sleep in the bed w/you? Same thing. I've never once rolled over on my cat.


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