# Moms of Many It's June!



## baltic_ballet (May 17, 2007)

:







: Welcome







:







:


----------



## ~*max*~ (Dec 23, 2002)

I'd love to rejoin. I always seem to lose his thread.
I'm a mom of "only" four.


----------



## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

How are you feeling Sam?

It's still May here for another few hours and it is a gorgeous day







:

We sorted through all our stuff this weekend and dh and ds2 have taken it all to a car boot sale. The girls and I went to see how they were doing and managed to spend only £5 of their takings! I got a dress form and dd1 got a purple folding scooter which will stop the screeching about whose turn it is to ride on the one we already have.

I've been sewing like mad for my Folksy shop in the hope of selling something over the summer. It may be a few days til I put the stuff in the shop though as it takes me ages to make the photos square to upload them







:


----------



## THANKFULFORFIVE (Jan 8, 2009)

Just popping in so I don't lose the thread...


----------



## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

Hey ~*max*~ long time no see!


----------



## baltic_ballet (May 17, 2007)

Welcome back Max









Orangefoot, I am doing ok thanks, I don't think I've had enough time to really digest the fact i am preggo again, it's been very hectic here. Still feeling overwhelmed and scared but also extremely tired.

Anyone else every feel like they would like the world to stop still for a while so you can have a rest and not have to think?

How are are all the other Preggo M.O.M going?


----------



## Anglyn (Oct 25, 2004)

Is it June already??? How'd that happen?

eta: hey, this post was number 1991, the year my oldest child was born!!!!


----------



## JBaxter (May 1, 2005)

Hello









I "only " have 4 is that enough? I sent my oldest off to prom last night







: and my baby is 7 months.

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o...es/prom045.jpg


----------



## Anglyn (Oct 25, 2004)

Four is enough! I also "only" have four!








Thats what I love about this group, they make me feel normal! IRL, everything thinks Im crazy or weird or something!!


----------



## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

I have only four too.


----------



## fairymom (Sep 15, 2008)

There are some days I wish I had "only four".









And honestly everyother weekend I basically only have 2! the 3 middles go to their dad's and my oldest is never here anyways (she's 15 and likes to be out).So I have the lo (7 wks) and ds14- and man do I get bored!


----------



## Full Heart (Apr 27, 2004)

I was about ready to send 3 of mine to my mothers house yesterday. I was running around after each of them trying to keep them out of trouble. I wanted to pull my hair out. Can I just ask, what is it with boys and peeing in things? They pee outside, they pee in containers, they pee on themselves. If I could I would put them back in diapers LOL.


----------



## Anglyn (Oct 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Full Heart* 
I was about ready to send 3 of mine to my mothers house yesterday. I was running around after each of them trying to keep them out of trouble. I wanted to pull my hair out. Can I just ask, what is it with boys and peeing in things? They pee outside, they pee in containers, they pee on themselves. If I could I would put them back in diapers LOL.

OMG!!! So its not just mine? I really thought it was!! The only reason Im not freaking out over teh two year old doing this is I remember my four year old did the same thing and eventually grew out of it. Not before he ruined a lot of stuff though. Seirously, he peed in cups, bowls, glasses, toys...you know the ride on toys that have seats that lift up for storage? Yep, in there. One time he left a bowl full of pee outside my oldest sons bedroom door. Hm? We never figured out what he was trying to say!!









He still pees outside a lot.


----------



## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Hullo!

I threw up on Saturday, and then spent the weekend posting excitedly in my DDC about it. Of course, I haven't had a single symptom since... but hey, that counts, right?

11 + 2, so nearly out of the first trimester.


----------



## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

Hey everyone!

Currently I have only 3 but babies 4 and 5 are coming soon! Though not soon enough.







: I want them to bake for much much longer but everything in me just does not want to be pregnant anymore. It's like "Get the heck out!!" and then "oh wait that's a bad idea- stay in!! stay in!!"









Sorry about the puking, Helen









Anglyn~ I love your siggie


----------



## Multimomma (Jan 25, 2008)

Well the first of June brings trouble for us...we dropped the truck off for work, and can't afford to rent a big enough van for ten of us for a week. So all we have is a mustang, four seats total, none big enough for a convertible car seat, so baby is in a borrowed bucket. The oldest got dropped off at resident camp, but the next two have day camp all week







only bad because we don't have the truck! So I had to borrow oldest's friend for the week to watch the littles while I drop off and pick up the other kids.

Sounds like bad timing, but honestly it gets worse after this week. Boys have day camp all next week, but that's a half hour drive to get there, while the girls camp is only ten minutes away. And the rest of the summer is filled with sports camps, classes and church camp. Who said that homeschooled kids are EVER home?

Life with eight kids has not been easy, I keep waiting for things to settle down, but Nathan is two and a half months old and things are still crazy, I'm still recovering, exhausted. lol


----------



## Full Heart (Apr 27, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Anglyn* 
OMG!!! So its not just mine? I really thought it was!! The only reason Im not freaking out over teh two year old doing this is I remember my four year old did the same thing and eventually grew out of it. Not before he ruined a lot of stuff though. Seirously, he peed in cups, bowls, glasses, toys...you know the ride on toys that have seats that lift up for storage? Yep, in there. One time he left a bowl full of pee outside my oldest sons bedroom door. Hm? We never figured out what he was trying to say!!









He still pees outside a lot.

About 5 years ago my oldest ds peed in a cup and told his younger brother it was lemonade. Ds was smart and smelled it first lol. I have 5 brothers and I remember them doing stuff like that when they were little. Still don't understand it though. My girls never did stuff like this. The baby peed while I was changing his diaper and you would have thought it was the great trick ever. My other boys were laughing SO hard.

Multimomma - sorry to hear about the truck troubles. I think I would go nuts if my van was gone.

flapjack - Too funny about the throwing up.


----------



## Carlyn (Jun 11, 2007)

I'm a mom of four, soon to be five. With some extra foster kids around some of the time, and different friends and relatives popping by








Sometimes we comment on how empty our table seems when it's "only" us at home.


----------



## Jannah6 (Aug 29, 2007)

For the past 2 days I have felt like I'm going to lose my mind. Sundays were supposed to be my day(well I would have the baby), but that flew out the window when the children joined baseball. I'm so mad at my husband right now. I'm sick of having to tell him that I need a break. You'd think that he'd have a clue by now!!!


----------



## Anglyn (Oct 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *magstphil* 
Anglyn~ I love your siggie









Thanks!!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Full Heart* 
About 5 years ago my oldest ds peed in a cup and told his younger brother it was lemonade. Ds was smart and smelled it first lol. I have 5 brothers and I remember them doing stuff like that when they were little. Still don't understand it though. My girls never did stuff like this. The baby peed while I was changing his diaper and you would have thought it was the great trick ever. My other boys were laughing SO hard.

Im sure its a boy thing. When Iw as about six or seven my best friend and I were laying out on a blanket sunning ourselves when her boy cousins, about four and five snuck up and peed on us! They found it hilarious. It was disgusting of course!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jannah6* 
For the past 2 days I have felt like I'm going to lose my mind. Sundays were supposed to be my day(well I would have the baby), but that flew out the window when the children joined baseball. I'm so mad at my husband right now. I'm sick of having to tell him that I need a break. You'd think that he'd have a clue by now!!!

They never have a clue, you have to say, "Honey, take your chldren and give me five minutes peace adn quiet before I snap and hurt you all"


----------



## Jannah6 (Aug 29, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Anglyn* 

They never have a clue, you have to say, "Honey, take your chldren and give me five minutes peace adn quiet before I snap and hurt you all"









I know, it's a shame, isn't it? Trouble is, I'm barely speaking to him cuz I'm so angry. I started writing him a letter, but got angry and tired of saying the same things, so I just saved it in my email. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day. I'm letting my youngest DS watch t.v right now because I don't feel like the fight that accompanies bedtime, oh the joys of motherhood


----------



## Anglyn (Oct 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jannah6* 
I know, it's a shame, isn't it? Trouble is, I'm barely speaking to him cuz I'm so angry. I started writing him a letter, but got angry and tired of saying the same things, so I just saved it in my email. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day. I'm letting my youngest DS watch t.v right now because I don't feel like the fight that accompanies bedtime, oh the joys of motherhood









I dont even mess with bedtime anymore! Well, what I do is, I turn off all lights but one small lamp in thelivingroom and let them watch tv (this works best if they've had no tv allday, they are glued). Once I know they are settled in, I just go to bed, leaving them in the livingroom with dh, who is ususally on the computer. Magically they either ask dh for what they want or they wander in to find me, then climb in bed with me and go to sleep (or nurse to sleep). I am getting more sleep than I have in years! I wish I'd thought of it way before now!


----------



## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Ye gads, I've been up for half an hour dealing with nosebleeds and a boobmonster and it's not even 6am yet. It's going to be a LOOOONG day today.

I hit snapped yesterday too, and the cranky mummy manifesto went up on the fridge.

1) If you leave me to pick up your rubbish, you're telling me I AM RUBBISH. If you leave your s*** for me to flush, you're telling me I AM S***. It's rude.
2) I am busting a gut to keep the house cleaner and tidier than ever before. Stop laughing at me. I'm not a wifelet, not a stepford wife, and I don't deserve it.
3) Wash your own damn dishes. Or cook your own dinner. I don't mind which, but I'm fed up with doing both.
4) There's an alternative. I keep wasting my time on picking up after people, and never get the cleaning done so I pay someone to do the cleaning instead. It's going to cost £56 every fortnight to have someone come and clean the house, plus another £15 to get someone to do your ironing. That's 3 and a half hours work. AND a professional won't do the laundry, OR the washing up, OR the putting away of toys and clutter, OR flush the toilet. That's the cost of a trip to Legoland EVERY SINGLE MONTH unless you start tidying up after yourself. Your choice.

And yes, I'm slightly annoyed right now.


----------



## Anglyn (Oct 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
Ye gads, I've been up for half an hour dealing with nosebleeds and a boobmonster and it's not even 6am yet. It's going to be a LOOOONG day today.

I hit snapped yesterday too, and the cranky mummy manifesto went up on the fridge.

1) If you leave me to pick up your rubbish, you're telling me I AM RUBBISH. If you leave your s*** for me to flush, you're telling me I AM S***. It's rude.
2) I am busting a gut to keep the house cleaner and tidier than ever before. Stop laughing at me. I'm not a wifelet, not a stepford wife, and I don't deserve it.
3) Wash your own damn dishes. Or cook your own dinner. I don't mind which, but I'm fed up with doing both.
4) There's an alternative. I keep wasting my time on picking up after people, and never get the cleaning done so I pay someone to do the cleaning instead. It's going to cost £56 every fortnight to have someone come and clean the house, plus another £15 to get someone to do your ironing. That's 3 and a half hours work. AND a professional won't do the laundry, OR the washing up, OR the putting away of toys and clutter, OR flush the toilet. That's the cost of a trip to Legoland EVERY SINGLE MONTH unless you start tidying up after yourself. Your choice.

And yes, I'm slightly annoyed right now.

ROTF!!!! I came home after working all day the other day (fil lives with us and his only job is looking after the kids while we work) and threw down dishes and announced that if Im expected to not only work all day, grocery shop, errand run, bill pay, cook dinner AND do dishes....(I do all of it but the dishes normally but lately Icome home to every.single.dish.in the entire house dirty!) then I stop cooking. I then didnt cook dinner for three nights in a row. Miracle of miracles, the dishes were all done today!!!


----------



## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

DH and I just recently switched roles and now he's the stay at home parent. I'm in school and looking for work. He now has a new perspective on why I was sometimes such a frazzled mess when he'd come home from work. LOL


----------



## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

My dh knows EXACTLY what a job it is to be at home with the mad people and stop the place turning into a jumble sale but he can still decide that he won't do anything because it is too hard and he doesn't know where to start.

Last night I got home after work to all the dishes were still on the table and the floor was a minefield. Ds2 had pulled dd's new scooter handlebars up so high that they couldn't push them down again. Ds1 had going out when I did and then come home to play his harmonica so the girls wouldn't go to bed because he was being noisy. And they had lost the remote for the tv so the watch on demand menu screen was layered on top of the channel it had last been on which was a real life hospital thing.

Dh hadn't tackled the dishes because someone had tipped a half eaten plate of tuna and pasta over the edge of the sink and he just couldn't face it:headbang

I asked him who he thought was going to have to face it then and stomped into the kitchen.

He hasn't twigged then leaving me to clear up mess makes him very sexually unattractive







:

Helen ~







My sympathy. I need a manifesto for my fridge.

Jannah







to you too

Communal living might be the answer don't you think? A friend of mine said to me last week that she thinks expecting us to raise kids with a husband is a bit unrealistic...


----------



## Jannah6 (Aug 29, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Anglyn* 
I dont even mess with bedtime anymore! Well, what I do is, I turn off all lights but one small lamp in thelivingroom and let them watch tv (this works best if they've had no tv allday, they are glued). Once I know they are settled in, I just go to bed, leaving them in the livingroom with dh, who is ususally on the computer. Magically they either ask dh for what they want or they wander in to find me, then climb in bed with me and go to sleep (or nurse to sleep). I am getting more sleep than I have in years! I wish I'd thought of it way before now!

I feel you. H came home and went on the PC. I left the two of them and went to bed. I woke up at 5, feeling refreshed







.

Ladies,ladies,ladies can we get a







.

It amazes me, the H told me about 2 months ago that he knew it was difficult and a lot of work, but he still acts like he has no clue


----------



## Anglyn (Oct 25, 2004)

Sometimes you have to demand that your needs get met.


----------



## fairymom (Sep 15, 2008)

I get to a point where I demand help (really i mean blow my lid) and then realize its sad I have to get to that point to actually get the help I have been asking for.









This last time my ex was here and my blow up was so bad HE ended up doing the dishes!lol

Why does it have to go to such extremes? Can't we just say I need help- this needs to be done. And my expectations aren't that high- even asking 5 times but still having it done would be nice!

I started something new last night w/dishes. I aksed who was going to wash the dishes and my ds4 and dd7 (the 2 youngest besides babe) VOLUNTEERED! Ofcourse the olders didn't but they were informed they'd be doing them tonight- but they do get to decided how they will work as a team. I was so proud of the littles and they did a good job!







:


----------



## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

_*WARNING!!*_ really unhappy down right depressed pregnant woman vent coming...

Quote:


Originally Posted by *fairymom* 
I get to a point where I demand help (really i mean blow my lid) and then realize its sad I have to get to that point to actually get the help I have been asking for.









This last time my ex was here and my blow up was so bad HE ended up doing the dishes!lol

Why does it have to go to such extremes? Can't we just say I need help- this needs to be done. And my expectations aren't that high- even asking 5 times but still having it done would be nice!


Quote:


Originally Posted by *Anglyn* 
Sometimes you have to demand that your needs get met.

But then there are those of us who can cry scream demand ask as sweet as pie all we want and we still don't get the help we need.







:









I am pregnant with twins and on bedrest. My mother who lives in the same apartment complex, doesn't work, has no other responsibility (she wouldn't acknowledge responsibility if it was Godzilla tearing her limb from limb) and has always used us when she needed a place to stay, food, money, etc won't lift a finger to help me. My husband is clueless. It's not that he doesn't want to help he just does not get how much has to be done. He thinks "what I put in a load of laundry isn't that good enough?" uh, no. I'm just sick of my house and my kids being absolutely filthy. I have realized this pregnancy how really alone I am and I am just not happy at all. I have been such a bad mom with such a short temper. I snap at my kids all the time. My doc is on me to get off my feet but I have already cut way back simply because of the pain and exaustian and I just have to deal with it. I am down to doing what I _HAVE_ to and I do have to do it. I have to chase the little ones when they get the front door open, I have to feed them, change them, come when they break yet something else, etc etc. And trust me I have screamed and cussed and cried and begged and nothing. Nada. DH still doesn't get it and my mom still doesn't care.

This morning I woke up at 5am after yet another night of hardly being able to sleep and my stomach was hurting so bad I had to hold it up even in bed- it felt like some invisible thing was trying to rip it off my body. I feel realy yucky and shakey and can't even eat. And of course my DH is at work, mom is doing whatever else, and my kids are in brat (














mode. All I relaly want to do is sit here and cry and I can't even muster the energy to do that. Yeah I know, I sound pathetic and wah wah wah. Sorry. DH called and wanted to know why I am being so snippy with him and I wanted to blow up "hello! I have asked you so many times to do at least a few loads of laundry because we have nothing to wear and I trip over the dirty laundry all day and you haven't. The dishes are piling up. The trash is overflowing. You, yet again, didn't give the kids enough to eat before you left and you didn't dress them. But yes forgive me for being snippy!"























Ok sorry for that vent! I do get what you are saying. I have to blow a fuse just to get the trash taken out. It's ridiculous after all we do.


----------



## Full Heart (Apr 27, 2004)

The rule in our house is that if you are capable of messing it up, you are capable of cleaning it up. The dishes are on a rotating schedule. 2 kids put it away together one day, another 2 the next day. One does the top rack, the other the bottom rack. Now, its not done how *I* would do it but I have learned to let it go.

Fairymom - my 5 yr old the other day volunteered to do the dishes when I asked whose turn it was. And he did a pretty good job too.

Dh is pretty good about helping out. He knows how hard it is. But if the need isn't immediate I hope its not something important cause he will forget to do it. There is a crock pot sitting there and has been for days with spaghetti in it cause dh said he would take care of it and forgot. And I refuse to do it cause I want him to realize he forgot AGAIN. Hes really really bad about saying he will do something and then forgetting to do it.


----------



## AllisonK (Feb 18, 2005)

Maggie







I wish I was closer! I would come over everyday and help you out. Is there anyone near you who can come and help? I bet a few local to you MDC mamas would be willing.

Its busy here but not much to say so back to lurking.


----------



## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

Thanks. Sorry about the vent again









We are moving in 2 weeks and women from our church are coming to help me unpack (or rather to have me sit there and direct them where to put things). The packing DH and a friend of his have down. They seem to actually enjoy it.









I'm thankful the women at church are so willing to help and I should ask for more but I hate being a burden. To me it just seems like my mother is right there and has nothing else to do but sleep all day so I have no problem asking her, ykwim?

Thanks again


----------



## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *magstphil* 
I should ask for more but I hate being a burden.

I'm sure the ladies from church don't see you as a burden! They probably see a woman being overtaken by a belly who has other little ones and a lot that needs doing.

You need help now and you have people who are willing to be there for you. When you are feeling stronger and you are able to, you will be there for them. It all goes around and sometimes you have to remind yourself that you really DO need help!


----------



## mclisa (Jul 26, 2004)

Will be back shortly.

Moved into the new house. Mostly unpacked.

having a baby who prefers his bottles from daddy rather than straight from the tap from mom issues


----------



## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

: on the move! Sorry about the BF issues


----------



## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Michelle. Happy house, good luck getting the baby back to the boobie!








Maggie. Take the help. Sometimes the kindness of strangers is necessary to get you back to believing in human nature. As someone who survives depression, I'm pretty sure that if your mum isn't doing more, it's because right now she can't- be gentle with her, please.
Orangefoot, I'm in for the commune.


----------



## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

There is a long long long history of this sort of thing with my mom not taking care of her responsibilities. She is very toxic. We need her out of our lives. It just goes to show how desperate we are that we were asking her for help. I feel like a total idiot for asking and for allowing her in our lives for as long as we have. This pregnancy just has me very depleted and very worried.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

So we are moving in a few weeks and the closets in this place a very tiny! We have 3 girls sharing a room and the twins in the other. Our closets now are twice the size of the closets where we are going and the girl's current closet hardly holds their stuff. Any suggestions? I really do want to downsize but there is only so much we can do with 3 kids sharing a closet.


----------



## Jannah6 (Aug 29, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *magstphil* 

So we are moving in a few weeks and the closets in this place a very tiny! We have 3 girls sharing a room and the twins in the other. Our closets now are twice the size of the closets where we are going and the girl's current closet hardly holds their stuff. Any suggestions? I really do want to downsize but there is only so much we can do with 3 kids sharing a closet.

Same thing happened with us. We have started using under the bed storage.


----------



## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jannah6* 
Same thing happened with us. We have started using under the bed storage.

I was so excited thinking "that'll work!" and then I realized they have a trundle underneath their bed. We pull it out and make the twin a king sized bed for all 3 to sleep on. It's a really small room which is another issue. I'm not entirely sure we could fit a dresser in there if we came across one.


----------



## Jannah6 (Aug 29, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *magstphil* 
I was so excited thinking "that'll work!" and then I realized they have a trundle underneath their bed. We pull it out and make the twin a king sized bed for all 3 to sleep on. It's a really small room which is another issue. I'm not entirely sure we could fit a dresser in there if we came across one.

My husband also made shelving for the closet.


----------



## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jannah6* 
My husband also made shelving for the closet.

Now this is doable. Can't believe we didn't think of it as DH worked in cabinetry for a few years.







: Did you do it beneath where the clothes were hung or throughout the whole thing?


----------



## Jannah6 (Aug 29, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *magstphil* 
Now this is doable. Can't believe we didn't think of it as DH worked in cabinetry for a few years.







: Did you do it beneath where the clothes were hung or throughout the whole thing?

The ceiling is very high, so we did it above. He made 1 shelf that is waist level. We stored some things on the floor of the closet. Our shoes are stored in the hallway on a shoe rack.


----------



## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Anglyn* 
OMG!!! So its not just mine? I really thought it was!! The only reason Im not freaking out over teh two year old doing this is I remember my four year old did the same thing and eventually grew out of it. Not before he ruined a lot of stuff though. Seirously, he peed in cups, bowls, glasses, toys...you know the ride on toys that have seats that lift up for storage? Yep, in there. One time he left a bowl full of pee outside my oldest sons bedroom door. Hm? We never figured out what he was trying to say!!









He still pees outside a lot.

Oh that reminds me that once when my brother was 4 or so he had to pee in the car. My mom's coast was in the back seat so he peed in the pocket.







Man was she PISSED. So your telling me I have stuff like this to look forward too?


----------



## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Maggie, just went up and read about the DH, the mom, the kids and the bedrest..







s I hope things get better soon. If the ladies from church are willing to help, I would take them up on that... other than that.. can you maybe hire someone to help for a few hours a day? a few hours a week? I don't know what your DH does for work, but maybe he can work out some sort of trade?


----------



## AllisonK (Feb 18, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *orangefoot* 
I'm sure the ladies from church don't see you as a burden! They probably see a woman being overtaken by a belly who has other little ones and a lot that needs doing.












And on the closet issue. I have all three younger kids clothes in one small closet and a dresser. Each kid gets one drawer in the dresser. To make it work I sorted/decluttered everything. We went down to only a handful of clothing each person and I am loving the laundry situation now.







The rest of the clothing that fits went into a storage tote to be brought out as other things are worn out, stained (beyond wear), or outgrown. I blogged about it on the second blog link in my signature. Don't know if you could do that when you are not supposed to be up and around.


----------



## rajahkat (Oct 1, 2003)

Hi all. Newly pregnant with #5 and really needing a place to chat with others. Feeling like I've crossed the line into the land of the "crazies" now.

At the risk of sounding ungrateful, I'm a bit lukewarm on the pregnancy. Had other plans, and was really looking forward to doing some things for ME.

I love being pregnant, and we had planned on at least 6 anyway.....I was just hoping for a bit of a break, I think.

Anyway, don't want to be too much of a bummer, especially as I'm introducing myself!









So, HI!









Kat


----------



## Anglyn (Oct 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *magstphil* 
_*WARNING!!*_ really unhappy down right depressed pregnant woman vent coming...

But then there are those of us who can cry scream demand ask as sweet as pie all we want and we still don't get the help we need.







:










I am pregnant with twins and on bedrest. My mother who lives in the same apartment complex, doesn't work, has no other responsibility (she wouldn't acknowledge responsibility if it was Godzilla tearing her limb from limb) and has always used us when she needed a place to stay, food, money, etc won't lift a finger to help me. My husband is clueless. It's not that he doesn't want to help he just does not get how much has to be done. He thinks "what I put in a load of laundry isn't that good enough?" uh, no. I'm just sick of my house and my kids being absolutely filthy. I have realized this pregnancy how really alone I am and I am just not happy at all. I have been such a bad mom with such a short temper. I snap at my kids all the time. My doc is on me to get off my feet but I have already cut way back simply because of the pain and exaustian and I just have to deal with it. I am down to doing what I _HAVE_ to and I do have to do it. I have to chase the little ones when they get the front door open, I have to feed them, change them, come when they break yet something else, etc etc. And trust me I have screamed and cussed and cried and begged and nothing. Nada. DH still doesn't get it and my mom still doesn't care.

This morning I woke up at 5am after yet another night of hardly being able to sleep and my stomach was hurting so bad I had to hold it up even in bed- it felt like some invisible thing was trying to rip it off my body. I feel realy yucky and shakey and can't even eat. And of course my DH is at work, mom is doing whatever else, and my kids are in brat (














mode. All I relaly want to do is sit here and cry and I can't even muster the energy to do that. Yeah I know, I sound pathetic and wah wah wah. Sorry. DH called and wanted to know why I am being so snippy with him and I wanted to blow up "hello! I have asked you so many times to do at least a few loads of laundry because we have nothing to wear and I trip over the dirty laundry all day and you haven't. The dishes are piling up. The trash is overflowing. You, yet again, didn't give the kids enough to eat before you left and you didn't dress them. But yes forgive me for being snippy!"























Ok sorry for that vent! I do get what you are saying. I have to blow a fuse just to get the trash taken out. It's ridiculous after all we do.

Im sorry your having such a rough time! I have the same sort of issues with my mother. She lives very close, but still says she'd come over if we "didnt live so far away" (seirously, we are 20 min away thats it). I cant ask her for help or shell just tell me that she told me not to have all those kids, see, she knew I couldnt handle it, I should have listened to her, now Ive made my bed and I have to lie it etc etc blah blah blah!

Oh and after my third child I had postpartum depression but I swear to you , it started while I was still pregnant and I had a lot of the same issues at the time, feeling like I got no help, being overwhelmed etc. Just take the best care of yourself that you can and let go as much as you can. I promise, eventually you'll get back to the clean house but for now, just let it go! If only we could all afford maids!!

Orangefoot was right, raisng kids with men is stupid! Seriously, when my best friend and I were roommates, wtih three kids between us, the cooperation was amazing, and we both felt we got way more support and help from each other than we ever had with our exes!!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mclisa* 
Will be back shortly.

Moved into the new house. Mostly unpacked.

having a baby who prefers his bottles from daddy rather than straight from the tap from mom issues

My youngest is like that!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *magstphil* 
Now this is doable. Can't believe we didn't think of it as DH worked in cabinetry for a few years.







: Did you do it beneath where the clothes were hung or throughout the whole thing?

can you put the offseason stuff in those bags that you use to vaccumcleaner to compress to like next to nothing? Talk about space savers!! I want some of those!!!!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aniT* 
Oh that reminds me that once when my brother was 4 or so he had to pee in the car. My mom's coast was in the back seat so he peed in the pocket.







Man was she PISSED. So your telling me I have stuff like this to look forward too?









ROTF! Maybe!


----------



## Anglyn (Oct 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rajahkat* 
Hi all. Newly pregnant with #5 and really needing a place to chat with others. Feeling like I've crossed the line into the land of the "crazies" now.

At the risk of sounding ungrateful, I'm a bit lukewarm on the pregnancy. Had other plans, and was really looking forward to doing some things for ME.

I love being pregnant, and we had planned on at least 6 anyway.....I was just hoping for a bit of a break, I think.

Anyway, don't want to be too much of a bummer, especially as I'm introducing myself!









So, HI!









Kat

WELCOME!!!







:







:







:







:







:







:







:







:







:

Dont worry about being a bummer, we all have those moments!!!

Does anyone but me ever think, that as much as I love them like crazy, I should have spaced them out further? While there are up sides to them being close, there are also down sides, including that it takes an almost superhuman amount of energy to keep up with them!!


----------



## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Kat!!!! I was just thinking about you the other day, and wondering how you were doing! Welcome to the Feb08 Pregnancy Explosion!- it's all Dea's fault, I'm convinced of it.
Anyhow, I'm in the same boat, but 12 weeks pregnant and calming down a bit- if you want to vent, I'm here to listen. I was at the point of going back to university to train as a nurse, then eventually a midwife, so this really threw me.

Anglyn, I'm more scared of having three under five than I am of having five kids. Everyone I know who has that kind of spacing has that kind of look that lets you know they need a break- you know the one?

We started tying privileges like being able to play out and use the TV and computer to not being complete slobs for the boys yesterday- they don't get the good stuff until they do their jobs. I really hope it works- I'm fed up of flushing toilets after big boys.


----------



## rajahkat (Oct 1, 2003)

Thanks for the welcome, ladies. And I've actually been thinking about you too, Helen. I had read on your blog that you were expecting again. Congratulations.









Yes, I had been planning a trip out of the country to do a midwifery intensive. I just have to keep reminding myself there is plenty of time. And having my own babies teaches me something also, right?

I'm planning on hiring a midwife this time, not sure she'll make it to my house in time if I go as quickly as before, but it'll be nice to have someone to check in with.








Kat


----------



## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

Anglyn~ We already vacuum seal the out of season clothes. We just have lots! We need to get rid of some for sure.

Kat~ Welcome and Congrats!!!!







:


----------



## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

Welcome Kat - we aren't all crazies but it depends which day you catch us on!!

Feel free to moan a bit here. IRL people think you are bonkers anyway so have no sympathy if you complain a little bit or wonder how you're going to manage.

Anglyn, I misread you and thought you had written 'spawned them out a bit further'







I had a fleeting vision of mine all standing in different ponds. It would be very quiet at home.

Sorry to get back to the cleaning cr*p again but I set off to work last night f-ing and fuming because I hadn't been able to find the keys to lock up the library I work at. No time for dinner before I went out and the place is such a tip you can't see anything you are looking for. I'd have thought that the ranting would have produced a massive panic tidy while I was out. Nope. I want to leave home and live in a tent.


----------



## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
I'm more scared of having three under five than I am of having five kids. Everyone I know who has that kind of spacing has that kind of look that lets you know they need a break- you know the one?

I've got three under five, plus a five and a ten-year-old. It's kind of insane most days, I won't sugarcoat it. But I know you can do it. Just take it one day at a time, okay? You'll find a new normal and you'll realize there is more joy than there is insanity (at least, most of the time) and there is just something about the crazy pitter-patter of 4 sets of feet running down the hall to see who can be first to hug mom and baby brother first thing in the morning.


----------



## Teenytoona (Jun 13, 2005)

: Mind if I pop in a bit? I'm not exactly a mom of many, but these days I'm occassionally so. 3 of my DSC will be here this summer, making it a house of 4 kids and so I guess that qualifies me.


----------



## fairymom (Sep 15, 2008)

My 1st 2 are 14 mnths apart then the rest are spaced 3-4 yrs apart. Just when they are starting to be independent and starting to look at schools another comes along.It has some + and -, they all are usaully old enough to help in some way or another and I get more alone time with the little(s). But at this point my oldest will be 33 when the baby is 18.I could be a grandma before all mine are out of the house! 10 years from now I'll have 4 gone and two at home just starting the teen years. When the first 3 were young I did have 3 at and under 5. It was crazy but I feel like it was so much easier than now (somedays).

This last pg I was super hormonal and crazy- still have my days at 9 wks pp. I swear DH wants no more because he had to live w/me (it's his 1st pg/lo so had no experience w/what it would be like). I think I am battling ppd- I don't want to say suffering because its not too bad and most of the time I can push it away.And my depression is more anger than sadness.YKWIM?

orangefoot- can I come live w/you in that tent? I so know what you mean- there have been plenty of days lately where I've told DH I am running away w/the baby.And that school's out for summer I know it will only get worse- if I don't find something for us to do.


----------



## cymbeline (Oct 18, 2005)

Howdy, all! I'm a mom of three with one on the way. I love all my IRL friends, but they all have one or two kids and think I am nuts for having four. Honestly, I'm excited. I was nervous at first, but as the birth gets closer, I am really more and more happy about it.

Ours are spaced 3-4yrs apart which I feel is almost perfect. The oldest is sweet as pie and extremely helpful. It is DS2 that makes me crazy, but the oldest was like that at his age, so I am hoping he will start to mellow out in the next year. DD3 is entering the terrible threes phase, but it is still NOTHING compared to what the boys were like, so I feel like I am coping fine.

The only thing I am nervous about: I am having another boy! I was kind of hoping for a girl,







. I didn't believe anyone until I had one, but she really is easier! Of course, she isn't pubescent yet.......









What I am tired of is how many people freely give me their opinions on how many kids I have. We live in an urban city, upper middle class neighborhood, most families have only children and are older themselves. They give me _the look_ when they realize how many kids I have. I get the "are they all yours?" thing as well as the "going for a tv show?" thing, and I am too pregnant to be polite and usually say something snarky in return









I am also adjusting to SAHM life, since I have always worked, but with this many kids DH and I realized we really needed someone to be the Home Executive and Bookkeeper, if you know what I mean! And I have to brag on my DH because he is the awesomest dad and partner ever and I would never dream of having this many kids if it weren't for him helping with the load. That man is my best friend, and I would have ten kids with him if I didn't know any better!!! I have been a single mom (with the oldest two after I left their dad) and it was way harder than having a lot of kids -- having an active partner makes all the difference in the world.

Ok, enough on me and being all cheerful for now because you know I will be back tomorrow with a snark or a rant about how fed up I am with DS2 or my dishes/laundry drama or whatever!!!


----------



## Jannah6 (Aug 29, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Anglyn* 
WELCOME!!!







:







:







:







:







:







:







:







:







:

Dont worry about being a bummer, we all have those moments!!!

Does anyone but me ever think, that as much as I love them like crazy, I should have spaced them out further? While there are up sides to them being close, there are also down sides, including that it takes an almost superhuman amount of energy to keep up with them!!

You took the words right out of my mouth!!!


----------



## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

Quote:

"going for a tv show?"
Wha?????!!!!! Oh my gosh that just made my blood boil. You have 3 kids and are just about to add ONE more! GIVE ME A BREAK! It's not like you have 20 and if you did who the heck cares? Wowza!!

Sorry my pregnancy hormones are making me leap out of my skin on your behalf.









"Home Executive and Bookkeeper" love it!







:


----------



## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

re: spacing- part of me feels like a real idiot for our spacing but you know I also am glad it is over and we have gotten it out of the way! I know that sounds terrible but I absolutely HATE HATE HATE being pregnant. Hate it. I'm glad it was bam bam bam and now we're done (or almost. Still have to birth these 2).

But yeah it'd be real nice if #2 and #3 would potty learn







:


----------



## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DreamsInDigital* 
I've got three under five, plus a five and a ten-year-old. It's kind of insane most days, I won't sugarcoat it. But I know you can do it. Just take it one day at a time, okay? You'll find a new normal and you'll realize there is more joy than there is insanity (at least, most of the time) and there is just something about the crazy pitter-patter of 4 sets of feet running down the hall to see who can be first to hug mom and baby brother first thing in the morning.

















: and







in equal measure. I'm terrified, I seriously am. I can see how great this can be, but equally- it could really stink. Please, don't let me go under with PND this time. And Anglyn, that's not helping.







: Lie to me, please. Tell me how wonderful it is having kids closely spaced. Don't tell me that it's as bad as my mind is imagining.









Orangefoot, I have a tent you can borrow









Welcome, Cymbeline







I have a similar story with my first kids dad, and yes, it's nice having a partner in parenting, as opposed to just a husband/partner. Oh, and I complained to the manager of our local supermarket because every time I've been in with all four kids recently, even when they've been very well behaved, the check-out operators have felt entitled to comment on how many we've got.







: in a negative fashion- I can live without the "rather you than me" comments, and "you've got your hands full."


----------



## mataji4 (Sep 28, 2006)

Wow, there are lots of new ones coming aren't there??

My littlest just turned two, and I have been wondering about another baby or not since I started cycling again around the new year...thinking about waiting or not having anymore, which seems wierd since I've been in a position of wanting babies my whole adult life so far!

I trained as a homebirth midwifery apprentice for a couple of years between kids 1 and 2, and always think to return to it. Just when I make plans to get back into it, I find that I'm instead going to have a baby. I just made plans to start doing some doula work, and then last night my wonderful husband who ALWAYS stops to put on a condom, didn't. Hmm. He thought we were in a safe time. It's questionable.

Congratulations Kat! I hear you though- I think I'd feel the same...unsure, sort of surprised. I still think you being close by in Bend warrants us to meet someday!

Somehow when others who I've been pregnant with at the same time get pregnant again, I feel a pull, like an inevitability. I am feeling that from everywhere right now...old best friends are pregnant, good friends in town planning to be, friends online...it's equal parts exciting and scary at this point!!!

We don't do t.v. Sometimes those crazy moments...in the morning and waiting for dinner to be done (are they just starving??) get to me. I start to think "what am I doing with all these monsters??" Especially my 2 yr old. He is just so LOUD.


----------



## pixiekisses (Oct 14, 2008)

Oh my, I just keep forgetting that we "move" to a new thread every month!
And so I wonder suddenly why the old one is so quiet.


----------



## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mataji4* 

Somehow when others who I've been pregnant with at the same time get pregnant again, I feel a pull, like an inevitability. I am feeling that from everywhere right now...old best friends are pregnant, good friends in town planning to be, friends online...it's equal parts exciting and scary at this point!!!


I feel this too and its partly Flapjack's fault!!! No, not really but my four came in pairs and the first was just about to turn 3 when I felt ready to be pregnant again so there is exactly the same gap between 1 and 2 then 3 and 4.

Number 4 is coming up to that age now and I am feeling the pull despite my mind telling me I want all sorts of things to be different before I am pregnant again so I can have more time and peace to focus on myself mentally and physically.

Dh on the other hand has no such qualms. A friend came over with her 1yo yesterday and he was all gooey over him and kept talking about him all afternoon. Similarly having Flapjack's little one in our house a while ago had his mind on overdrive


----------



## rajahkat (Oct 1, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mataji4* 
Wow, there are lots of new ones coming aren't there??

My littlest just turned two, and I have been wondering about another baby or not since I started cycling again around the new year...thinking about waiting or not having anymore, which seems wierd since I've been in a position of wanting babies my whole adult life so far!

I trained as a homebirth midwifery apprentice for a couple of years between kids 1 and 2, and always think to return to it. Just when I make plans to get back into it, I find that I'm instead going to have a baby. I just made plans to start doing some doula work, and then last night my wonderful husband who ALWAYS stops to put on a condom, didn't. Hmm. He thought we were in a safe time. It's questionable.

Congratulations Kat! I hear you though- I think I'd feel the same...unsure, sort of surprised. I still think you being close by in Bend warrants us to meet someday!

Somehow when others who I've been pregnant with at the same time get pregnant again, I feel a pull, like an inevitability. I am feeling that from everywhere right now...old best friends are pregnant, good friends in town planning to be, friends online...it's equal parts exciting and scary at this point!!!

We don't do t.v. Sometimes those crazy moments...in the morning and waiting for dinner to be done (are they just starving??) get to me. I start to think "what am I doing with all these monsters??" Especially my 2 yr old. He is just so LOUD.

Jenny! It's so funny that you talk about that "pull". Well, let me tell you, I KNOW your turn is coming. When Helen said she was pregnant, I thought well if SHE'S pregnant, then it'll probably be me next! I think it's something about keeping an unconscious eye on those who have the same # as I do. So I've been thinking about you too. I'm watching you!!









And yes, we SHOULD get together sometime, we're still hunting for a bigger house, especially now with another on the way, and we're undecided about staying in bend.....

Kat


----------



## mataji4 (Sep 28, 2006)

Oh that's funny Kat! I am pretty sure we're on the non-pregnant side of things for the time being, but I feel like it's coming and I don't think I'm ready yet!! Why does it seem like it's out of my control?! Part of why I'm not ready is that I've not come to terms with the possibility of having another boy. I love my boys but I don't know if I want another. Is that awful to say?? I want another daughter so much. You have a girl and four boys too, Kat, right? If you have a girl and then I have a boy I am going to be SO jealous!


----------



## MrsSurplus (Dec 30, 2005)

Hello

It's so fun reading the encouragement here. We don't know many people with large families IRL - and it's so good to see so many here - and to read all of the encouragement. We're expecting #6 in February and don't plan on saying anything for a while...in large part because of negative comments...so I'm looking forward to the encouragement here to boost our responses!


----------



## zjande (Nov 4, 2002)

So, um, can we talk about houseplants?







Do you guys have them? Do you manage to keep the kids from spilling the dirt allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll over your house? Or have you given up on lovely indoor plants until your kids are over the age of 40?

I lovelovelove my houseplants, I always have. But in the past year or 2 I've had no choice but to start letting go of most of them because cleaning up all the dirt ground into my carpet & toddler's scalps is just ridiculous. I've gone from around 30-40 plants to only about a dozen. I try soo hard to keep them out of reach or the kids out of them- you should see my tree.







The base if it is wrapped in 2 different kinds of tape (duct & packing) to hold the screen in place around the whole pot to cover the dirt. lol It's really ugly. But my tree is gorgeous & I've had it for 10 yrs!







:

In the past week alone my 3 & one yr olds have spilled 2 different plants AND managed to get into the dirt under my tree.







And so now my carpet has lovely dirt brown stains on it AGAIN. And I've been picking potting soil out of the 1 yr old's crevices for 3 days.







And it's this huge time consuming clean up effort every single time.

I just really love the way our house looks with pretty green plants in it. I really really want to keep at least SOME plants!







But I'm seriously beginning to think that it's either kids or plants. Period. It's so depressing to me! Is anyone else as weird about plants as I am?







Or have you managed to keep plants AND kids??

Any advice or commiseration welcome. Or if you want to say to me "Um, DUH. EVERYONE knows you cannot both raise kids AND plants you crazy lady!", that would be okay, too.


----------



## pixiekisses (Oct 14, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zjande* 
So, um, can we talk about houseplants?







Do you guys have them?

Yeah, actually. I'll tell you how come I'm not excited soon. Just the question first. Something about dirt all over? My kids never mess with them actually. I'm not sure why. Maybe because we thought them that we need to be careful with plants/flowers because they get hurt too or summat. Who knows. Or they are just not that interested. We've had a couple of them for years.

And now I have exactly 4. And that's about 2 more than I want at least.
I do not have "green fingers", I really don't _do_ plants/flowers or the likes. I just kill them.








But there's two White Orchids that my aunt and grandma gave me, I have matching pots and keep them in two of the windows in the livingroom that's next too eachother. I'm actually quite fond of them. So I stick it out with an egg glass of water once a week, they are still alive after months.
And then there's the moneytree my mom gave me (it's a green plant, it's just called a moneytree) that sits in the kitchen window, it needs just the same care as the Orchids, so it's also alive, but I don't like it very much.
And, we have a green plant that gets orange little fruits on it, looks like a tiny lemon/orange tree, sits in the window of the library. My dear bought it and he has to take care of it too. It has a crazy "water 2 out of 3 days" routine or summat. I would've killed it if left in my care, and don't like it, it's just because my dear wants to keep it and the kids thinks it's wicked.

And I'm actually gonna say: Uhm, _duh_! _Everyone_ knows that you _can_ both raise kids _and_ plants, you crazy lady!


----------



## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

No, I don't have houseplants because I'm not a total masochist. Instead, I have plants and a garden outside and I run out when nobody's looking to tend to them and as soon as I'm spotted playing in the dirt, I distract them with a coloring book, finger paints or a movie. I'm not above bribery.


----------



## mataji4 (Sep 28, 2006)

We have houseplants but they are all hanging...we had the dirt problem too. My dh had a lovely little papaya tree that would have fruited someday but my oldest child just ripped, tore, dug, and vandalized that poor tree. Dh tried putting a cut out cardboard guard at the vase and a little sign that read "Please don't hurt me." It was so silly and pitiful- the tree never had a chance against that child! So now we have lovely hanging plants...and some in pots on high shelves in the bathrooms. And we have tons of plants and gardens outside!


----------



## rajahkat (Oct 1, 2003)

To Jenny, yes, 1 girl & 3 boys. I actually feel exactly the opposite as you, I'd prefer more boys and NO more girls. I'll love them anyway of course, but I always said I wanted all boys, and my girl drives me up a wall.

To the houseplant question, no. We have a garden, and some potted herbs on the front porch, but the baby digs in the dirt if we have potted plants inside. My dh tried to start some carrots indoors and as soon as they sprouted, the baby would pull them up and eat them.









Kat


----------



## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

Quote:

So, um, can we talk about houseplants?
Nope. Between my four and my childcare kids, I don't want to have to monitor plants too.


----------



## Jannah6 (Aug 29, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *phathui5* 
Nope. Between my four and my childcare kids, I don't want to have to monitor plants too.


Or pets


----------



## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

We love our house plants! How we make it work is we have self watering containers. Then when our plants start to overgrow we take trimmings and put them in water with some miracle grow (liquid). When they get a nice root system going we plant them in either self watering containers or in nice pretty ones but with those aqua globes (they actually do work!). We have two hanging plants, 2 in pots, and 3 or 4 in water. Those are ready to be transplanted so we need to buy new containers and get some new trimmings.

Our kids know Daddy is pretty serious about his plants so they know not to touch!

BTW we would not be able to do it without the self watering help. No way.


----------



## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

My house plants are always full of animals, cars, pet shops.. or something long those lines. I always find dirty all over.. and oh oy when they try to surprise me by helping water.. I always end up with a mess to clean up.


----------



## cymbeline (Oct 18, 2005)

We only have 3 houseplants, all large ones, out of the way, the kids have never touched them. Good points, all, though, because who knows maybe this new little one will be the one that finally gets into the dirt. They all have a giant mud pit outside as it is right now anyway, so there are PLENTY of opportunities to bring dirt INTO the house!!!


----------



## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

:


----------



## cymbeline (Oct 18, 2005)

What do you do for birthdays?

All of our kids have summer birthdays, so we told them that this summer we would celebrate (modestly) as a family on their b-day (cake, homemade cards, etc) and then have a big birthday party for all in August. The older two seemed to be ok with this.

What do you do for birthdays?


----------



## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

We just do friends and cake at home.

The only time we haven't done this was hen my eldest was littler we went to an outdoor play place which you can hire exclusively for not much money. We invited all his friends and our family and they all had to bring a water pistol. I did a cake, bought doughnuts and ice lollies and they all had a whale of a time soaking each other.


----------



## Jannah6 (Aug 29, 2007)

We don't really do birthdays. Well, at least it started out that way. Now we buy an ice cream cake for the birthday girl/boy and take the kids to Toys R Us and everyone gets something.
My youngest DD birthday is a day before mine, so maybe we'll do something for her 1st B-Day/My 35th B-Day


----------



## rajahkat (Oct 1, 2003)

Ohhh, I like the idea of everyone getting something! That's a lot of fun. I just mentioned it to the kids and they thought it sounded like fun too.

Kat


----------



## mataji4 (Sep 28, 2006)

I read something on here about kids not getting a "party" every birthday and I felt such relief! You mean I don't have to let them design their own theme party every year, such as the Robin Hood birthday complete with a family performed play and treasure hunt?? phew. So now we just have family parties with my dh's family in town (which is a party!) except for when they turn 7,10,13,16,18. That's still a lot of parties with friends but it's not every year!

On their next birthdays my kids will turn 3,6,9, and 11. I am so off the hook at least for another year!!


----------



## Jannah6 (Aug 29, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mataji4* 
I read something on here about kids not getting a "party" every birthday and I felt such relief! You mean I don't have to let them design their own theme party every year, such as the Robin Hood birthday complete with a family performed play and treasure hunt?? phew. So now we just have family parties with my dh's family in town (which is a party!) except for when they turn 7,10,13,16,18. That's still a lot of parties with friends but it's not every year!

On their next birthdays my kids will turn 3,6,9, and 11. I am so off the hook at least for another year!!

I understand a party for 10,13,16 and 18, but why 7? Is it lucky number 7?


----------



## pixiekisses (Oct 14, 2008)

We ask them what they want to do, and we talk about it and find a reasonable solution that will make them (and us) happy.
Sometimes it's a party with some friends, or a party with just family, to go somewhere (movies, theater, short trip) just the birthdaykid and us parents alone (or one of us, depending) etc. It varies a lot.
What we always do no matter, is that we wake them up with presents and the birthdaysong in the morning, the birthday child gets to decide dinner (also if they want to eat out) and dessert (cake, ice cream, whatever) on their birthday, and we go to the toystore as well and everyone gets something.


----------



## party_of_seven (May 10, 2004)

We try to only do a themed party with friends every other year. On the year we don't do that it is dinner and cake with family and maybe a trip to the bowling alley or skating rink.

I have 3 with b-days in July, and this year I got them all to agree to a family trip to the water park for their birthdays....just 1 trip for everyone. They are very happy. It actually does work out cheaper than planning something separately for each child.


----------



## suziek (Jun 4, 2004)

I've found you!

Tomorrow my baby turns 3, and Friday we all troop down to the hospital for a level 2 sonogram and to find out our baby's gender!!! Two exciting events! And Saturday and Sunday are all day soccer tournaments for Ds1 and Ds2 (in two different towns) and a dress rehearsal for DD's ballet recital.

Where's my body double?

All good here. I have my beach sticker on my car, and the boogie boards are loaded in the way back. I love summer. I just wish I could find a maternity wetsuit!


----------



## faerierose (Jul 9, 2006)

Hey everyone, I don't post much but lurck alot. I'm pregnant with #5 and could really use someone to talk to. Things are crazy, I feel like I've been hit by a car (and I was as a teenager, I know what it feels like) I am so overwhelmed. The pregnancy was not planned and I'm having a really hard time adjusting. My nearly 7 and 4 year old are sn, we homeschool in a tiny town where I have no support. My 2 year old has become this extremely loud, destructive, aggressive, exhausting little dude. I've become this snappy, yelling, horrible mommy








We just recently moved, I can't get anything organized. Tell me this get's better.....PLEASE


----------



## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

:







:







:

I can't tell you this is going to get better, but if you want someone to talk to about unplanned pregnancies when you already have a big family, PM me. I was devastated to get the bfp.


----------



## mataji4 (Sep 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jannah6* 
I understand a party for 10,13,16 and 18, but why 7? Is it lucky number 7?

Kids turn 7 the year they enter school and sort of get their own friends/cohort instead of socializing with their parents' friends' kids. It's a huge developmental milestone year as well- the celebration of understanding abstract concepts and the possibility of rational thought!


----------



## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Hah. For us, 7 was the year that rational thought was examined as a concept and rejected. 7 was horrid







:


----------



## pjs (Mar 30, 2005)

Hi all,

New to this thread. I'm a mom to 3 and pg w/#4 (we have 2 boys and a girl and baby #4 is another boy). Its nice to find a place to get support- like someone else posted, my mom has NO interest in helping us (despite being retired at 55 with NO commitments, other than helping my SIL with her ONLY child as much as she can) as we decided to have all these kids, so I shouldn't have them if I can't be super mom and glowing, happy and content at all times.

I'm also homeschooling them as well. My kids are 7, 4, 2, and 22 weeks gestation in utero. We're in a community with lots of one or two kid families with older parents, and can't help feel like people see me as a "breeder". Though dh and I believe the best riches in this life are our kids and family (meaning those who live at our address).

I hear y'all about that pull to be pregnant- I know it's not a race, but I always feel like it's unfair if someone who has a baby after me gets pregnant again before me!


----------



## Jannah6 (Aug 29, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mataji4* 
Kids turn 7 the year they enter school and sort of get their own friends/cohort instead of socializing with their parents' friends' kids. It's a huge developmental milestone year as well- the celebration of understanding abstract concepts and the possibility of rational thought!









Oh, guess I'm out of the loop. All of my school aged DC attended pre-school when they were 3-4. My oldest DS attended Montessori part-time when he was 2.


----------



## Jannah6 (Aug 29, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *faerierose* 
Hey everyone, I don't post much but lurck alot. I'm pregnant with #5 and could really use someone to talk to. Things are crazy, I feel like I've been hit by a car (and I was as a teenager, I know what it feels like) I am so overwhelmed. The pregnancy was not planned and I'm having a really hard time adjusting. My nearly 7 and 4 year old are sn, we homeschool in a tiny town where I have no support. My 2 year old has become this extremely loud, destructive, aggressive, exhausting little dude. I've become this snappy, yelling, horrible mommy








We just recently moved, I can't get anything organized. Tell me this get's better.....PLEASE

I'll tell you, it gets better, than worse, then better again. Sometimes you can manage, but most days it gets *OVERWHELMING*. The days that my husband helps me makes everything so much more bearable. I'd love to homeschool, but I'm happy that my DC are in school because I would go insanely CRAXY. I have an 8 yr old DD with ADHD, a 5 yr old DD who wants to be like her big sis,and an almost 2 yr old, nuff said!!! I have 6 , but most days I feel like I have 10.
As they get older it does get a bit easier in terms of them being able to do more for themselves. BIG







s


----------



## Youngfrankenstein (Jun 3, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Full Heart* 
I was about ready to send 3 of mine to my mothers house yesterday. I was running around after each of them trying to keep them out of trouble. I wanted to pull my hair out. Can I just ask, what is it with boys and peeing in things? They pee outside, they pee in containers, they pee on themselves. If I could I would put them back in diapers LOL.


I know you wrote this awhile ago but it reminded me of the wonderful time my ds peed in my brand new dryer...good times!


----------



## Youngfrankenstein (Jun 3, 2009)

I'm de-lurking and having a blast reading about normal life with kids here. I only have 3 with one on the way but it's hard for me to relate to first-time moms.

I look forward to getting to know all of you better.
Amy


----------



## mommajb (Mar 4, 2005)

Hi mommas.









I have been on this thread for a bit a while back but have trouble keeping up. Jannah's 2nd youngest and my youngest (#5) are the same age. We were in the ddc together but I still don't have my cycles back. I am sure some of you understand when I say that it doesn't upset me except for all the nursing it entails.

I enjoyed all the dh venting. Mine was gone for two weeks and I so looked forward to his return. That is until he returned. He is having a little bit of trouble living up to my wildest hopes and dreams to put it mildly. I will say he tries but I tire of asking and explaining all the time. Who ever said raising children and a husband at the same time is too much to ask really hit that nail on the head.

Dd3 will be 4 next week and we are inviting 1 other large family over to play in the sprinkler and eat cupcakes. I won't be slicing cake or doing dishes forever; she will be here to supervise her own children; I like her enough to talk if we get the chance and she lets me hold her baby so I my dose of milk breath.







A simple celebration but still fun.


----------



## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *faerierose* 
Hey everyone, I don't post much but lurck alot. I'm pregnant with #5 and could really use someone to talk to. Things are crazy, I feel like I've been hit by a car (and I was as a teenager, I know what it feels like) I am so overwhelmed. The pregnancy was not planned and I'm having a really hard time adjusting. My nearly 7 and 4 year old are sn, we homeschool in a tiny town where I have no support. My 2 year old has become this extremely loud, destructive, aggressive, exhausting little dude. I've become this snappy, yelling, horrible mommy








We just recently moved, I can't get anything organized. Tell me this get's better.....PLEASE

Oh mama!









I can very much relate to a lot of this. You are not alone!!

I wish I had some words of wisdom but I don't.


----------



## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cymbeline* 
What do you do for birthdays?

All of our kids have summer birthdays, so we told them that this summer we would celebrate (modestly) as a family on their b-day (cake, homemade cards, etc) and then have a big birthday party for all in August. The older two seemed to be ok with this.

What do you do for birthdays?

Depending on the season and the weather that weekend (some of my kiddos have winter birthdays, one has a spring, one has autumn) we'll either have a barbecue outside with close friends and immediate family or just a very small amount of friends over for pizza and cake. We don't ever have a big party, just small get-togethers with our most favorite people. It always works out great. We do celebrate every birthday individually, to give that child their special day.


----------



## rajahkat (Oct 1, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *faerierose* 
Hey everyone, I don't post much but lurck alot. I'm pregnant with #5 and could really use someone to talk to. Things are crazy, I feel like I've been hit by a car (and I was as a teenager, I know what it feels like) I am so overwhelmed. The pregnancy was not planned and I'm having a really hard time adjusting. My nearly 7 and 4 year old are sn, we homeschool in a tiny town where I have no support. My 2 year old has become this extremely loud, destructive, aggressive, exhausting little dude. I've become this snappy, yelling, horrible mommy








We just recently moved, I can't get anything organized. Tell me this get's better.....PLEASE

Hey faerierose! I TOTALLY hear you. I was very (not altogether pleasantly) surprized to discover I was expecting #5.

I agree with Jannah. It goes in cycles. Sometimes I feel amazing, like I AM supermom and on top of everything and my kids are brilliant and kind, and I love my life. Then sometimes, I feel like the kids are out of control, I can't get on top of the clutter, my life is going nowhere & I'm getting old, and I want to run away.

So, we can't make it all better for you, but we HEAR you!!

Kat


----------



## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

I was actually looking for this thread and I couldn't find it. Yay! Here you all are!

I'm all knocked up again and due in February. I must say, this is number five and I'm panicking a little. OK, a lot.


----------



## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
Hah. For us, 7 was the year that rational thought was examined as a concept and rejected. 7 was horrid







:









and


----------



## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

I just saw the other posts about No. 5. From what I'm gathering, number 5 is rather panic inducing for lots of Moms of Many. Someone told me that even Michelle Duggar freaked out at number five, and that woman is unflappable.


----------



## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
I just saw the other posts about No. 5. From what I'm gathering, number 5 is rather panic inducing for lots of Moms of Many. Someone told me that even Michelle Duggar freaked out at number five, and that woman is unflappable.









I was actually just thinking this! What is it with number 5? This is 4 AND 5 for us so we are just







:





















: and we need a fainting smiley







We thought 4 was totally doable though stretching it but _FIVE_??!! Who's sick joke is this?!


----------



## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Number four was our "freakout point". Number five was a simple transition.


----------



## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

Five? Our 4 are more like 2+2 in age and being boys then girls so 5 seems a bit odd both numerically and logistically. Our 7 seater only has six diagonal belts so six of us seems perfect 7 would mean we were back to where we were 18 months ago where we couldn't all go out together cos we only had 5 seats









Frida and I were looking at her baby pictures on the puter yesterday and it made mw think that it wouldn't be too much trouble to have another little one at all....

Congrats to the newly pregnant mamas even if it doesn't feel quite right just yet.







and


----------



## pixiekisses (Oct 14, 2008)

Hmm. I've freaked once, but it wasn't during a pregnancy actually, it was when I had a newborn, two almost-2-yo., a 7 yo. and a teen. I was thinking I was crazy then.
But as I've said before, I cling to "this too, shall pass" and breathe with my tummy.








to everyone who wants/needs it.


----------



## Jannah6 (Aug 29, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
I just saw the other posts about No. 5. From what I'm gathering, number 5 is rather panic inducing for lots of Moms of Many. Someone told me that even Michelle Duggar freaked out at number five, and that woman is unflappable.


----------



## Jannah6 (Aug 29, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommajb* 
Hi mommas.









I have been on this thread for a bit a while back but have trouble keeping up. Jannah's 2nd youngest and my youngest (#5) are the same age. We were in the ddc together but I still don't have my cycles back. I am sure some of you understand when I say that it doesn't upset me except for all the nursing it entails.

I enjoyed all the dh venting. *Mine was gone for two weeks and I so looked forward to his return. That is until he returned. He is having a little bit of trouble living up to my wildest hopes and dreams to put it mildly. I will say he tries but I tire of asking and explaining all the time.* Who ever said raising children and a husband at the same time is too much to ask really hit that nail on the head.

Dd3 will be 4 next week and we are inviting 1 other large family over to play in the sprinkler and eat cupcakes. I won't be slicing cake or doing dishes forever; she will be here to supervise her own children; I like her enough to talk if we get the chance and she lets me hold her baby so I my dose of milk breath.







A simple celebration but still fun.










I totally feel you with the bolded part.

So, you have to play catch up with me??? JK
I nursed my 5th throughout my pregnancy, IT WAS NOT FUN!


----------



## faerierose (Jul 9, 2006)

Thanks for the kind words, I'm feeling a tiny bit better today. We had a really good morning and then we ran errands, everything went great at the store (for once) until checkout and all of a sudden my nose just started bleeding everywhere! So I'm trying to pay for our stuff, stop the bloody nose, and keep the 2 and 4 year old from wondering off and or grabbing candy off the shelves







So not fun.
I know I really just need a change in attitude with all this.
oh ya, ds3 has decided to become nocturnal







Any idea how I can get his clock back to semi normal without killing myself from exhaustion?
BTW if one more stranger tells me "you've got your hands full" I think I just might crash my grocery cart into them


----------



## faerierose (Jul 9, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *magstphil* 
I was actually just thinking this! What is it with number 5? This is 4 AND 5 for us so we are just







:






















: and we need a fainting smiley







We thought 4 was totally doable though stretching it but _FIVE_??!! Who's sick joke is this?!

I can't imagine having 4 and 5 at the same time! I had a dream last week that we had surprise twins and woke up in total panic. Congrats on your pregnancy.


----------



## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

My daughter keeps saying she is praying for twins. If we end up with twins she is so grounded.


----------



## faerierose (Jul 9, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
My daughter keeps saying she is praying for twins. If we end up with twins she is so grounded.

lol My dd is 6 and we watched a lifetime movie about the first surviving quintuplets delivered in the us. She looks at me and says "can't you have six babies mom....PLEASE!!!"


----------



## pixiekisses (Oct 14, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
My daughter keeps saying she is praying for twins. If we end up with twins she is so grounded.











But twins are amazing.


----------



## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Oh,







: Mentioning twins, please can everyone else who's been past their sixth pregnancy please tell me that they were measuring WAY ahead at 14 weeks? Up to the navel ahead, please?

Lying would be good, if you can't honestly give me the answer I'm looking for. I may not get a 12 week scan because I booked late, so







:

Congratulations, AM! You made me laugh so hard my pelvic floor screamed in agony and ran off to the bathroom without me...


----------



## mommajb (Mar 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jannah6* 
So, you have to play catch up with me??? JK
I nursed my 5th throughout my pregnancy, IT WAS NOT FUN!

Catch-up with you? I am not sure I can keep up with my own life.








By the time I get to #6 who knows how many you'll have.








Nursing through a pregnancy is tough for me too. I try to bite my tongue and say nothing when a woman posts that she hopes she gets to tandem nurse.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *faerierose* 
BTW if one more stranger tells me "you've got your hands full" I think I just might crash my grocery cart into them









You forgot, "Are they all yours?" No, somewhere I found these 5 identical kids and they just started following me around. OR No, just a bunch of random kids; I hate going anywhere alone.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
My daughter keeps saying she is praying for twins. If we end up with twins she is so grounded.

The running joke in my extended family is that twins is a sign to stop. It is my great-grandma who started saying so. Her twins were babies 12 and 13 though so she may have had other reasons.


----------



## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 

Congratulations, AM! You made me laugh so hard my pelvic floor screamed in agony and ran off to the bathroom without me...

Um... sorry?


----------



## party_of_seven (May 10, 2004)

when strangers pull out the "you hands sure are full" line I just smile back at them and say "Better full than empty!!" You can tell that they think on that for a second and it shuts them up. I get tired of it too though. One of these days I might bite someone's head off for saying it. I don't think that they understand that we hear that every time we walk out of the house.

Dh and I might have #6 on the way. (waiting to test in just a few more days) I know that last time I was pregnant I saw a maternity t-shirt that said something like:

Yes I know what causes that.
Yes we have a TV.
Yes my hands are full.
Yes they are all mine.

I know it said a couple more things. I think it was on cafe press. I have got to find it for the next pregnancy though just so I can be snarky when we all go out.


----------



## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

That sounds like a great church. My husband is a pastor, and we actually have _church members_ ask if we know what causes that. Who asks their pastor this sort of thing?!?


----------



## farmkids42morrow (Apr 12, 2009)

Hi everyone! Another M.O.M. here wanting to join in the fun. I have 4 kids (ages 12, 8, 5, & 2). We are relaxed homeschoolers, and very big on voluntary simplicity. So nice to come across other moms who I can relate to. Especially reading the comments on "Are they all yours?" & "You have your hands full"







(my personal pet peeves!)

Anyway, looking forward to getting to know you all better!


----------



## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
Who asks their pastor this sort of thing?!?

Rude people perhaps?

Flapjack, I have measured ahead twice: once with Jesse and then with Frida. I was so far ahead with Frida that my MW who has twins herself was the first one to say she thought I was measuring twin-like. 2 Fridas? I'd be grey by now if that had happened.


----------



## Purple Sage (Apr 23, 2007)

Just peeking my head in here to say that I'm







over the twin talk, especially the comment that having twins is a sign to stop. My mom's "surprise" last pregnancy was twins - that was #6 & 7 for her. I "only" have four, and my mom is constantly telling me that next time it'll be twins, and I hope she's not right! (Actually I hope there is no "next time" - our family is complete.)


----------



## pixiekisses (Oct 14, 2008)

I didn't stop after twins.


----------



## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

That's because you obviously don't know what causes that.


----------



## mommajb (Mar 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
That's because you obviously don't know what causes that.









Or she doesn't have a tv


----------



## pixiekisses (Oct 14, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
That's because you obviously don't know what causes that.









Oh! That's it, I knew there had to be a reason!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommajb* 
Or she doesn't have a tv

And actually, we don't have a tv.


----------



## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
That's because you obviously don't know what causes that.









Ack! I am so sick of that one!

AM~ if your daughter wants twins you can send her to me to help with mine!









Ok so with "are all those yours?" there are so many levels with us that bothers the crap out of me! One we have more than a few, obviously. Two we are young so people can't believe it. And three we are a biracial couple so our girls actually don't look too much like sisters. So people reeeeally don't believe us and I am sick of standing there in front of my confused kids explaining to strangers yes they are ours. No really they are ours. Yes I am sure they are ours. No not adopted, biologically ours.







: I guess it bothers me because it is something I have dealt with as the child with my mom and my other relatives still to this day.

K sorry for this rant. Ack! Just bothers me.


----------



## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
I just saw the other posts about No. 5. From what I'm gathering, number 5 is rather panic inducing for lots of Moms of Many. Someone told me that even Michelle Duggar freaked out at number five, and that woman is unflappable.









Truly, my number 5 baby has just fit in perfectly with the family. All the older kids just *love* him to bits and pieces, and I get a lot more hands offering to hold him than I did with #1, 2 or 3. Not to mention he's really mellow and can sleep through just about anything because it's never quiet so I don't have to worry about tip-toeing through the house during nap time.









We're talking about a number 6.


----------



## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *magstphil* 
Ack! I am so sick of that one!

AM~ if your daughter wants twins you can send her to me to help with mine!









Ok so with "are all those yours?" there are so many levels with us that bothers the crap out of me! One we have more than a few, obviously. Two we are young so people can't believe it. And three we are a biracial couple so our girls actually don't look too much like sisters. So people reeeeally don't believe us and I am sick of standing there in front of my confused kids explaining to strangers yes they are ours. No really they are ours. Yes I am sure they are ours. No not adopted, biologically ours.







: I guess it bothers me because it is something I have dealt with as the child with my mom and my other relatives still to this day.

K sorry for this rant. Ack! Just bothers me.

I actually haven't heard that one. But my teen never wants to go anywhere with us so most of the time it is just the three when we go out together. The two youngest look exactly like each other I am told, and Elizabeth.. well she got the recessive red hair but otherwise I think looks like her dad.







I would find it extremely rude of someone to ask that question. then continue to question you like you lied to them? Wow.. talk about rude!

I think the worse I have had lately was a nurse in the hospital last week being like WOW.. I can't believe you have four kids!!


----------



## mommajb (Mar 4, 2005)

And what if a child did come to your family by a route other than directly? That doesn't make one a 2nd class family member or any less cared about so what is the person trying to say?


----------



## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

That's exactly it, Tina! They act as if we are lying to them. Yes, that is my favorite pastime taking 3 random kids out in public and telling everyone they are mine.

How do your SOs handle your kids? I find my DH is often overwhelmed. I am too having them so close but I think he is because he hadn't so much as held a baby before our first was born. How do you help someone else juggle your kids if that makes sense. He is a great Dad but he is very... focused? He has to deal with things and people one on one and I am trying to help him understand that he needs to step outside of his comfort zone because the likelyhood of just dealing with one kid at a time is really really low


----------



## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommajb* 
And what if a child did come to your family by a route other than directly? That doesn't make one a 2nd class family member or any less cared about so what is the person trying to say?

I think they were just trying to figure out why the child looks "different" than the parents, each other. Granted it;'s none of their business and it's still rude.. but I don't think they are trying to say the child is any less.


----------



## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aniT* 
I think they were just trying to figure out why the child looks "different" than the parents, each other. Granted it;'s none of their business and it's still rude.. but I don't think they are trying to say the child is any less.









:

Even in this day and age it is hard for people to comprehend that a brown mama can have a fair skinned blond hair and blue eyed daughter (and visa versa). This isn't the best picture but yeah we don't look a like but still you'd think NOWADAYS people could fathom it. Oh also I love "do they all have the same father?"









We are dieing to know what the twins are going to look like.


----------



## mommajb (Mar 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *magstphil* 







:

Even in this day and age it is hard for people to comprehend that a brown mama can have a fair skinned blond hair and blue eyed daughter (and visa versa). This isn't the best picture but yeah we don't look a like but still you'd think NOWADAYS people could fathom it. Oh also I love "do they all have the same father?"









We are dieing to know what the twins are going to look like.

You are all so pretty.







:

A friend of mine likes to tell a story about her nephew asking her who the father is for each of her children and his absolute incredulousness that all 4 of her children have the same father.









My oldest two and youngest two look just like my dh and have the fairest coloring. Everyone always asks where they got their blonde hair. 3 yo dd answers, "It just grew out of my head."


----------



## suziek (Jun 4, 2004)

Here it is the last weekend of soccer season and I have just met two mothers with six kids on my oldest son's team (they don't take the boys to practice--their dh's coach--and I'm usually busy watching during the games, so I'd never met them. Their boys are each their youngest so that dream family with kids my kids' ages or close is still a dream. Still, it's great to meet moms or large families here in New England where large families are no longer so common.


----------



## pixiekisses (Oct 14, 2008)

We made a decision today (got the call earlier this week), about taking a newborn baby girl due late in august into foster care! The baby boy we're weaning to his permanent foster home (they want to adopt him) atm. will very soon be gone, then it's just our vacation (hopefully Australia for 4-6 weeks), and then she'll be here shortly after. It's emergency foster care, originally, but we'll see. We haven't made up our minds yet about keeping her (adopting) or letting her go. I'm very babysick, but I think I might want another bio. baby soon. But we're absolutely taking her in for some months, and I'm very excited! A newborn.








(I'll be going to the hospital when she's born and she'll be "ours" right away, we don't know how long she'll have to stay at the hospital yet of course, but I'll be there with her from the start.)


----------



## Jannah6 (Aug 29, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pixiekisses* 









But twins are amazing.









*ITA* I *LOVE* twins
*
Pixie*, that's beautiful that you're fostering







. I'd like to eventually adopt 2 children.


----------



## Jannah6 (Aug 29, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommajb* 
Catch-up with you? I am not sure I can keep up with my own life.








By the time I get to #6 who knows how many you'll have.








Nursing through a pregnancy is tough for me too. I try to bite my tongue and say nothing when a woman posts that she hopes she gets to tandem nurse.

You forgot, "Are they all yours?" No, somewhere I found these 5 identical kids and they just started following me around. OR No, just a bunch of random kids; I hate going anywhere alone.

The running joke in my extended family is that twins is a sign to stop. It is my great-grandma who started saying so. Her twins were babies 12 and 13 though so she may have had other reasons.









NO NO. I am sooo done.
OMG, I can't imagine having 13 DC.


----------



## Jannah6 (Aug 29, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *magstphil* 
Ack! I am so sick of that one!

AM~ if your daughter wants twins you can send her to me to help with mine!









Ok so with "are all those yours?" there are so many levels with us that bothers the crap out of me! One we have more than a few, obviously. Two we are young so people can't believe it. And three we are a biracial couple so our girls actually don't look too much like sisters. So people reeeeally don't believe us and I am sick of standing there in front of my confused kids explaining to strangers yes they are ours. No really they are ours. Yes I am sure they are ours. No not adopted, biologically ours.








: I guess it bothers me because it is something I have dealt with as the child with my mom and my other relatives still to this day.

K sorry for this rant. Ack! Just bothers me.

I get the are they yours too, but I think it's because they are biracial, except for my oldest DS. What business is it to strangers if all of my DC are mine??? Some people are just so rude







:


----------



## fwlady (May 11, 2009)

Just wanted to pop in and say HI! I am Kymberli, mother of soon to be 8. We have two twinless twins in heaven.







I am due around Xmas AGAIN for the 5th time. Can you believe that? LOL

I have really enjoyed this forum since I joined, probably a little too much. There is just so many things to read, so much I can relate to, so many issues that I have already dealt with to give advice for.

So, I just wanted to say HI in the MOM forum, since I guess I have many. LOL I have friends with 12, so I don't think we are all that big. LOL I think it is funny when ppl say that they have a large family at 3 DC. My Gparents had 8 before cervical cancer, my mother had 5 before she had them take it out, my adopted parents had 4 bio and 4 adopted, my older sister from adopted family (but she is bio) has 9, my other adopted sister has 4 now after saying #2 was IT. Many of my IRL friends have 6-12 children.

My Dh's work buddies tease him all the time, so there must not be any large families over there. But, it is the norm around us, or maybe we just ignore all the naysayers. At 4, they thought they could all convince us to stop, after that, they don't say anything else about TVs, etc. Even one dr asked DH if he knew what causes that, and he about throttled him. LOL He told him that he missed that in Science class and came home fuming. He told his buddies at work, that he DID know what causes it and he LIKES it. And, was grinning huge.







His boss was so impressed by his comical reply, that he HAD to tell me when we went to his bday party. I am a prude, but truckers aren't, so I was inwardly embarrassed, outwardly laughed. Better than him wanting to throttle ppl.









Well, I LOVE everyone's siggies, but they won't let us newbies use more than one smilie.







So, owell. I get to enjoy yours. I guess it is about bandwidth. Kymberli


----------



## Jannah6 (Aug 29, 2007)

Kymberli. How old are your DC?

*ETA:* I'm home with only the baby and it feels GOOOOD!


----------



## mommajb (Mar 4, 2005)

Jannah, that sounds lovely. The peace and quiet of being home with just one.

Linus is napping but everyone else has found something noisy to do this afternoon. We are just in from a hike and it is muggy or I would escape to outside.









Dh and ds1 have lacrosse this afternoon. I can't imagine what the equipment shed smells like full of all the pads and helmets.









I suppose I should plan dinner and see what might need starting early. Dh loves dinner rolls so maybe since it is Father's Day I will get those made.







:


----------



## rajahkat (Oct 1, 2003)

when strangers pull out the "you hands sure are full" line I just smile back at them and say "Better full than empty!!"

I love this reply! I've been getting hands full comment since I had #3.

To share a positive story though, I was in the coffee shop the other day, and I was ordering decaf which is unusual for me, and the barista asked me why, so I told her I was pregnant. There was a guy, probably 35-40 who overheard, and he said "get ready for a roller coaster ride!" And I replied, "yeah, you could say that, this is my fifth." He was all shocked and surprised (which honestly, I think is so much fun) and then he went on to say how his twins just got out of kindergarten and he could see why people kept wanting more, that kids were just so fun! I thought it was really sweet. And I always especially love it when I run into a guy who is so into talking kids.


----------



## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Well, we told the in-laws and my parents today and they were shockingly unshocked.

And OMGosh, Nicholas (my five) said "If it's a girl, let's name it Annabeth. If it's a boy, Rico. And if it's a dog, we can call it Marley."


----------



## Jannah6 (Aug 29, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
Well, we told the in-laws and my parents today and they were shockingly unshocked.

And OMGosh, Nicholas (my five) said "If it's a girl, let's name it Annabeth. If it's a boy, Rico. And if it's a dog, we can call it Marley."

















too funny.
*
mommajb*, My DH tried to get me to go, but I need some alone time. Well, semi-alone cuz I'm nursing Safiyyah right now LOL. Do you do dinner rolls from scratch? Either way, that's nice of you. It's so nice that you guys went on a hike.

*rajahkat*, when I was pregnant with # 6 and my husbands friends wife was pregnant you should have heard those guys. They were asking "How many months is your wife", "Did you get a sonogram". I was so surprised to hear guys talking like that.


----------



## mommajb (Mar 4, 2005)

We do make most all our bread from scratch though often it is the same dough just shaped differently. This time I made what he considers 'real dinner rolls'.

AM, I hope it is a boy or girl. i can't imagine the questions you'll get from strangers if you give birth to a dog and then proceed to behave as if it is a baby.









As to time alone, we see my in-laws about once every two years and they really don't get us though mil is very good at biting her tongue or simply saying that she did it differently. Anyway, they always try to take us to dinner and I almost never go anymore, just send everyone else. The first time I did this I had a just turned 2 yo and a newborn and had just made a transatlantic flight for the visit. They all went out and I played the fatigue cardto stay at the house. It was marvelous and I have never looked back. They probably think I have chronic fatigue syndrome. As many of you understand I am chronically fatigued at the end of a day but don't consider it a syndrome, just a fact of life. Some alone time during a visit is so rare and much so needed.


----------



## Jannah6 (Aug 29, 2007)

*Mommajb*, you make me laugh. I can always use a good laugh, thanks.


----------



## spruce (Dec 11, 2004)

Can I subscribe?

I have 5 at home, one stepdd who doesn't live w/ us, and hopefully one due early March.

I homeschool, am non-religious, and garden a lot. . . Ermmm, well, I guess that's my intro!

love, penelope


----------



## spruce (Dec 11, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *magstphil* 
Ack! I am so sick of that one!

AM~ if your daughter wants twins you can send her to me to help with mine!









Ok so with "are all those yours?" there are so many levels with us that bothers the crap out of me! One we have more than a few, obviously. Two we are young so people can't believe it. And three we are a biracial couple so our girls actually don't look too much like sisters. So people reeeeally don't believe us and I am sick of standing there in front of my confused kids explaining to strangers yes they are ours. No really they are ours. Yes I am sure they are ours. No not adopted, biologically ours.







: I guess it bothers me because it is something I have dealt with as the child with my mom and my other relatives still to this day.

K sorry for this rant. Ack! Just bothers me.










I completely hear you here. Even with my 5, I get, "Do all those *belong* to you?" ...as if they were puppies from the pound!!

And then people proceed to ask DP and I if all the kids are "ours" together...which is rude, invasive, and nasty. Yes, they're OUR children, it doesn't matter whose DNA was involved in creating them. What matters is who helps them tie their shoes, who soothes them in the night, who catches them when they fall.

I hear you.

love, penelope


----------



## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

I have had people ask me if they were all mine, and follow it up to with are they all his. However, I was never offended because they were quite impressed with the fact that they were all from a single couple. I guess where I have always lived, large families have always meant "mixed and matched" families, or where the mother just, how do I say it...gets around a lot.

So, I guess I just always take it as a compliment to be able to tell people that we are the parents all our children.


----------



## rajahkat (Oct 1, 2003)

You know, I'm actually surprised we've never been asked if dh was the father of them all....okay, not in so many words, because that would be seriously rude! But in whatever way people ask that, we've never been asked, and our kids really look nothing like him. He is dark, native american, and all the kids are fair & blond like me. Just don't have enough kids yet to prompt the question, I guess.

It's funny because dh being part native american lends to him not having much body hair. He's really smooth. I am not. So he always teases when the kids turn out "hairy" like me. I keep hoping for a dark baby, alas it has not happened yet.


----------



## spruce (Dec 11, 2004)

Kidzaplenty,

I guess what I am bothered by is that some people will think that *we* are not (as you put it) "the parents of all our children" if we aren't their biological parents.

As I said before, in my experience, what matters most is WHO is most available to a child, not who made the child in ten seconds or less...

JMHO.

love, penelope


----------



## spruce (Dec 11, 2004)

And your "tank" looks so much like my 5yo, kidzaplenty!!!

It's a really uncanny resemblance!

love, penelope


----------



## Jannah6 (Aug 29, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rajahkat* 
You know, I'm actually surprised we've never been asked if dh was the father of them all....okay, not in so many words, because that would be seriously rude! But in whatever way people ask that, we've never been asked, and our kids really look nothing like him. He is dark, native american, and all the kids are fair & blond like me. Just don't have enough kids yet to prompt the question, I guess.

It's funny because dh being part native american lends to him not having much body hair. He's really smooth. I am not. So he always teases when the kids turn out "hairy" like me. I keep hoping for a dark baby, alas it has not happened yet.

Do Native Americans tend to not have a lot of body hair? I didn't know that. Well, if yo do have a child who is your DH complexion and dark haired people will definitely start asking if they have the same father.
*
Penelope,* "who made the child in ten seconds or less..."








I know you mean the sperm reaching the egg, right?????

*BTW*,


----------



## rajahkat (Oct 1, 2003)

Nope, like Asian folks, not much body hair, not much body odor. I swear, dh can go 4 days without a shower and he smells fine. It's not fair.


----------



## Jannah6 (Aug 29, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rajahkat* 
Nope, like Asian folks, not much body hair, not much body odor. I swear, dh can go 4 days without a shower and he smells fine. It's not fair.









Ya might not want to say that in public, LOL.

I remember pre-kids. I used to shower everyday. Now I'm lucky if I can get 5 minutes


----------



## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

Hi Penelope!

I home school, am non-religious, garden a medium amount and sew quite a lot









People don't ask us if they are all ours but dh has had some people tell him that he shouldn't this, that or the other because they aren't all his. He has parented our eldest children for 10 years and our youngest two for 6. Kids aren't possessions anyway.

Kidsaplenty I understand your pride at having had the same husband for such a long time and having all your children with him: it is cool.

AM ds1 was convinced that we were going to get a dog not a baby when I was pregnant with ds2. He even told people he knew that it wouldn't be a dog straight away because baby dogs are called puppies.


----------



## farmkids42morrow (Apr 12, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kidzaplenty* 
I have had people ask me if they were all mine, and follow it up to with are they all his. However, I was never offended because they were quite impressed with the fact that they were all from a single couple. I guess where I have always lived, large families have always meant "mixed and matched" families, or where the mother just, how do I say it...gets around a lot.

So, I guess I just always take it as a compliment to be able to tell people that we are the parents all our children.

When I was pregnant with my youngest, my midwife (different one than I used for the others) was amazed that all my kids had the same father! I was surprised because I don't really think about it, but I guess that is getting less and less common.


----------



## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *farmkids42morrow* 
When I was pregnant with my youngest, my midwife (different one than I used for the others) was amazed that all my kids had the same father! I was surprised because I don't really think about it, but I guess that is getting less and less common.

I had never really thought about it until it was asked by a nurse in our pedi's office. They had a huge patient basis, multiple large families, and appearantly, we were the only one that all the children were from the same set of parents. It made me kinda sad to think of all the broken homes that the other families must have come from.

Two of my brothers as well as both of my BIL's have created blended families with his, mine, & ours. So, I don't look down on blended families at all, and I actually think it is kinda nice to see a new beginning coming from the brokenness that they all had before. But, I am pleased that I have only one husband and father of my children (I just would not want to have to train another man)







.


----------



## MrsSurplus (Dec 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *orangefoot* 
Flapjack, I have measured ahead twice: once with Jesse and then with Frida. I was so far ahead with Frida that my MW who has twins herself was the first one to say she thought I was measuring twin-like. 2 Fridas? I'd be grey by now if that had happened.

I measured ahead with #4. We were on track until week 13 when we popped from 12cm to 17cm. He was fine (a little big, but not huge) - and not twins. It happens.

On congregants asking the preacher if he knows what causes that...rude/ignorant people are everywhere. A dear friend of hubby's asked us -in church - when we were expecting #5 if we didn't know what caused that and I retorted - right there, in church - "yes we do...and we're apparently good at it." He was completely embarrassed...and I would bet he doesn't say the same thing this time.


----------



## cymbeline (Oct 18, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kidzaplenty* 
It made me kinda sad to think of all the broken homes that the other families must have come from.

Just putting out there that my kids are from different marriages and I cringe when I hear ppl refer to this as "broken." FWIW, our family is functional, healthy and happy


----------



## mommajb (Mar 4, 2005)

I am having a crisis of confidence due to a busy day and not enough sleep.

Linus is napping and I am pulling a black bean and quinoa salad together for dinner so people can eat when they are ready tonight. We have had a whirlwind of a day and this afternoon promises to be just as much so. first we had piano lessons starting at 8:30, dentist appts for all, history 'camp', lunch out. Then there will be cross country, gymnastics, soccer, playdates.







All that and my younger three seem to be having issues listening and following directions. For that matter so is my 40 yo. I'm going to stop before I make it worse by worrying about it.

Just a vent of woe is me, I am so busy but yes, better busy than lonely.


----------



## rajahkat (Oct 1, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommajb* 
For that matter so is my 40 yo.

He he.


----------



## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Hey, any other MoM on Facebook. I'm on a lot. Probably too much, LOL! I actually had a church lady make a snarky comment about it. I have a laptop that follows me around the house, and it's pretty much always on with homeschooling stuff.







I made it so she couldn't see my status updates since it seemed to be stressing her out, and far be it from me to cause a sister to sin.







Anyway, would anyone be interested if I made a little group?


----------



## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

I'd love to!

I am here. Tell me if the link works.


----------



## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Maggie, you're absolutely beautiful! Just added you, and I'll start up a group.

BTW, could you re-PM me your addy because I owe you that CD and I suck.







:


----------



## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
Maggie, you're absolutely beautiful! Just added you, and I'll start up a group.









Thanks. I feel like a mama whale stuck in the desert right about now. I was staring at your profile pic and thinking SUPER MOM!!!







I love it!

Quote:

BTW, could you re-PM me your addy because I owe you that CD and I suck.







:
I totally forgot about that! I actually just moved on Wednesday so good thing you asked.


----------



## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

http://www.facebook.com/groups/edit....d=109785321440

OK, I started a Facebook group here


----------



## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cymbeline* 
Just putting out there that my kids are from different marriages and I cringe when I hear ppl refer to this as "broken." FWIW, our family is functional, healthy and happy









My sons don't think they come from a broken home either and my eldest is particularly irked when people suggest that he is.


----------



## Multimomma (Jan 25, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
Hey, any other MoM on Facebook. I'm on a lot. Probably too much, LOL! I actually had a church lady make a snarky comment about it. I have a laptop that follows me around the house, and it's pretty much always on with homeschooling stuff.







I made it so she couldn't see my status updates since it seemed to be stressing her out, and far be it from me to cause a sister to sin.







Anyway, would anyone be interested if I made a little group?

ME! I think that's a great idea...and FWIW, we do the same thing with the laptops and homeschooling. You never know when we have to google something!


----------



## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

It may be a generational thing. I guess if you only have a desktop, you can't imagine the portability of a laptop (kind of like how I can't imagine how the youth group kids text all. the. time.)

So, I told my mom today about the baby and she was very positive. My MIL told my hubby's grandma. She's old and ill and failing, and MIL said she was so thrilled. She kept saying "Oh, isn't that wonderful! I thought we were all done with babies in our family. That's just wonderful!" I hope she holds on long enough to hold her newest great-grandchild.

My grandmother, OTOH, was apparently less then warm and fuzzy about a new baby.







Whatever. It's not like we're asking her for anything. She only even sees the kids once or twice a year.


----------



## rajahkat (Oct 1, 2003)

I gotta say, I HATE telling my family. And it's not even that they are negative. They're not. I guess I'm just afraid they'll voice all my concerns, and I won't really have good answers. I don't want my worries thrown up in my face. I think about it anyway, rather not discuss it with them.


----------



## spruce (Dec 11, 2004)

My DP will hardly speak to me right now.

He's upset about a new baby, and won't talk. He doesn't look at me, doesn't smile at me, doesn't hug me. He makes a huge deal out of putting all his attention into the kids, and it's pretty damned obvious that he's ignoring me.

I just called him and asked why he couldn't just be happy...he was upset when our last was conceived, too....and the two of them are best friends now. I asked him why he couldn't be happy for a future son or daughter who would be such an awesome buddy, as well, and he said, "I am just not happy."










I want to shout it from rooftops, email people I haven't spoken to in years, jump up and down, get some maternity shirts already, look at baby names, TELL THE KIDS.

And he wants me to be quiet as though what I have is a disease instead of a pregnancy.

/sorry, gripe mode off

love, penelope


----------



## rajahkat (Oct 1, 2003)

So sorry, Penelope. I've been there. Dh was like that with our first two. NOT happy. He eventually came around, but it is hard.


----------



## baltic_ballet (May 17, 2007)

I am back









One of my sons came down the flu







:







: and it wasn't long before we all caught it









I separated infected child from the rest of the family but even with stringent hand washing it was too late to stop the spread of infection









The house was in chaos









The worst patient: my husband, I had to solider on and cook and clean the house and I could have really done with some help but my husband refused
claiming he was too unwell







:


----------



## mataji4 (Sep 28, 2006)

I think my worst fear about having another baby is having to tell my mother. For the last two years she has brought up vasectomy with us more than once! She said "It's not that I don't love them, Jenny, I do...But you don't need any more of them, that's all."







: MY life, MY body, MY family- back off mom!

I keep thinking that if I get pregnant again, I'm not going to tell her! She'll just visit someday and be totally surprised!







Wouldn't that be funny?!

I am concerned that I am pregnant, but I sometimes make up symptoms, especially when so many of you are expecting!! Jeez. Well, I'm sure it's bad timing and we're barely making it month to month, but at least my husband is a rock star. I mean, for a man, he's great. Ever since I told him I was concerned about being pregnant, he keeps hugging me and telling me he loves me and loves our family...even with the kids screaming about butts in the background, or whatever







I can't imagine having kids or going through a pregnancy without his support.







to those of you who are!!!!!!!!!


----------



## spruce (Dec 11, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *baltic_ballet* 
I am back









One of my sons came down the flu







:







: and it wasn't long before we all caught it









I separated infected child from the rest of the family but even with stringent hand washing it was too late to stop the spread of infection









The house was in chaos









The worst patient: my husband, I had to solider on and cook and clean the house and I could have really done with some help but my husband refused
claiming he was too unwell







:









Oh, I am so sorry to hear you were all ill!

Men can be such babies with an illness...my DH will soldier through pain, fatigue, etc (he's FD, so the lack of sleep and intensely hard work can be really tough)...but throw a sniffle his way, and wow.







Just don't tell him I said that.

Hopefully life is on the upswing at your place, and congrats on the little one!

love, p


----------



## spruce (Dec 11, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mataji4* 
I think my worst fear about having another baby is having to tell my mother. For the last two years she has brought up vasectomy with us more than once! She said "It's not that I don't love them, Jenny, I do...But you don't need any more of them, that's all."







: MY life, MY body, MY family- back off mom!

I keep thinking that if I get pregnant again, I'm not going to tell her! She'll just visit someday and be totally surprised!







Wouldn't that be funny?!

I am concerned that I am pregnant, but I sometimes make up symptoms, especially when so many of you are expecting!! Jeez. Well, I'm sure it's bad timing and we're barely making it month to month, but at least my husband is a rock star. I mean, for a man, he's great. Ever since I told him I was concerned about being pregnant, he keeps hugging me and telling me he loves me and loves our family...even with the kids screaming about butts in the background, or whatever







I can't imagine having kids or going through a pregnancy without his support.







to those of you who are!!!!!!!!!

*EVERY* man should treat his partner like that when she thinks she might be pregnant. You're very fortunate.









One of the things that drives me bonkers is that my DH doesn't share budget info with me...at all. WHen I was single, I budgeted stringently (money in envelopes marked "heating" "food" "transportation" etc) when the money was gone, it was gone and I didn't spend another penny on that particular item.

He won't tell me how much to spend or not spend a month. We have separate bank accts, so if we're in debt I have no idea. He's stressed but won't let me share the concerns...it's just a very poor recipe.


----------



## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cymbeline* 
Just putting out there that my kids are from different marriages and I cringe when I hear ppl refer to this as "broken." FWIW, our family is functional, healthy and happy










Thankyou for saying that, I was trying to find the words.

spruce, that was one of the reasons for my first divorce. It turned out that we were £13,000 in debt, my now-ex had been lying to me and I ended up saddled with almost all of the debt as I was the only one working. I'm a very proud divorcee. I really hope you get happy ever after


----------



## spruce (Dec 11, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
Thankyou for saying that, I was trying to find the words.

spruce, that was one of the reasons for my first divorce. It turned out that we were £13,000 in debt, my now-ex had been lying to me and I ended up saddled with almost all of the debt as I was the only one working. I'm a very proud divorcee. I really hope you get happy ever after









flapjack, I have a close neighbor who is now going through exactly that...bankruptcy out of the blue (to her). Her husband sort of came home one day and said, "BTW, we're bankrupt." Things have gone way down hill from there, and they're divorcing. She had literally NO clue.

I worry a lot about why DH won't share financial info with me...I don't have an income, so my bank acct is purely a holdover from the "pre-us" days. No reason we shouldn't share accts...but whatever. I'm sure there are a LOT of mamas on her who would advise me to squirrel away money in case he leaves me, spends it all, sells everything, moves to Boca, etc...but I can't live like that.

I just keep gently reminding him that he'd be more settled if he know how much groceries would cost for the month...and so would I. I mean, I can make a dollar s-t-r-e-t-c-h!!!!

love, p


----------



## mommajb (Mar 4, 2005)

spruce, I hope he comes around soon and it is just an adjustment. He shouldn't take it out on you, you should get to adjust together, but life isn't perfect.









baltic ballet, stay well vibes coming your way.


----------



## MrsSurplus (Dec 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *spruce* 
My DP will hardly speak to me right now.

He's upset about a new baby, and won't talk. He doesn't look at me, doesn't smile at me, doesn't hug me. He makes a huge deal out of putting all his attention into the kids, and it's pretty damned obvious that he's ignoring me.

Yikes! I'm sorry. Did it pass fairly soon with the last one?

Well, congratulations!!!


----------



## fairymom (Sep 15, 2008)

I love the fact that there's a FB group now! Thank you for creating it! My DDC has one too that I'm on- so now I have both my fav groups on there!







:

"Broken" homes- I do not openly tell people that my dc have 3 different dads because people can be so judgemental and jump to their own conclusions about me.I hate being judged w/o getting to know me first.Yes the1st was a bad decision I made while young but I'd never do it differently or I'd never have my 2 eldest dc. My 2nd was a 11 yr relationship that we tried really hard to make work but sometimes they just don't and as for my dh for today he is my soulmate and all I can say is I only have today to live for. We are a blended family and everyone is loved equally. It takes a great man/woman to love anothers child unconditionally because its not an easy thing (sometimes).


----------



## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Add me to the group who doesn't like "broken home". From what I understand, my family was a heck of a lot more "broken" before my parents divorced.


----------



## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
Add me to the group who doesn't like "broken home". From what I understand, my family was a heck of a lot more "broken" before my parents divorced.

No kidding! Not that I have any experience with this (my father ditched me when I was born) but I have seen it in friends and family.

I do believe I was raised in a broken home but not because my father was MIA but because I have an insane toxic mother.


----------



## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *spruce* 









My DP will hardly speak to me right now.

He's upset about a new baby, and won't talk. He doesn't look at me, doesn't smile at me, doesn't hug me. He makes a huge deal out of putting all his attention into the kids, and it's pretty damned obvious that he's ignoring me.


Ummm I don't understand this. It's not like you got pregnant by yourself! My grandmother said my grandfather was upset with their last 2. (but he never treated her like crap.. just initially upset.) Apparenlty she had tried diaphragms but they didn't work. My mom, who is the youngest of 8 was born in '48 so it's not like they had a whole lot of options then.

If your DH is so upset why doesn't he do something to prevent any more? That is what my DH did.







s

What is this facebook group you speak of. I must have missed it.

I do find it kinda sad that everyone is moving over to facebook.


----------



## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

AM started a group for MDC MoMs. Search it on FB and join us!!







:


----------



## fairymom (Sep 15, 2008)

there's a link to it here somewhere.


----------



## fairymom (Sep 15, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
http://www.facebook.com/groups/edit....d=109785321440

OK, I started a Facebook group here









here's the link.


----------



## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Thanks.. there.


----------



## mommajb (Mar 4, 2005)

dh is home today and by he takes a lot of time. I am mostly checking my threads and marking my spot until he is off to the office.


----------



## mataji4 (Sep 28, 2006)

So what's the deal with the FB group...are we chatting over there too? I don't think I can keep up!


----------



## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

I'm only chatting here, even though I started the Facebook group.







I like to friend people and get a feel for what they're up to during the day. I never meant we couldn't chat here! To be honest, I don't really get what the groups are for, except maybe to post links and interesting stories, and for me to have a place to talk where the youth group kids aren't listening.


----------



## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

AM, you know you can set your profile so they can't "see" you, right? Or your updates, or the picture of you poledancing topless whilst chugging margaritas, or whatever...


----------



## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

*snort* I know-- and I actually did that with the one lady complaining about how "someone" posts too much and had too much time on their hands--but I feel kind of guilty cutting off people altogether. What I wish I could do is divide my friends into groups-- G, PG-13, and WTF!-- and then decided update by update which group I wanted to see it.


----------



## pixiekisses (Oct 14, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
(..) or the picture of you poledancing topless whilst chugging margaritas, or whatever...











Pictures in my head!


----------



## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pixiekisses* 









Pictures in my head!

You should see the pictures in my Facebook album...


----------



## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

You know this makes me think of a great money making idea for Mothering! A admin and mod calendar. We could have NFL themes like hanging cloth diapers to dry outside in a bikini with soap suds all over you.

Should I PM Georgia with this or contact the magazine itself?


----------



## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Other than my profile pic on Facebook, there really aren't any pictures on me online.

Wait, I do have pics from my 5K. I figured I had just ran 3.1 miles and was allowed to look crappy.


----------



## pixiekisses (Oct 14, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
You should see the pictures in my Facebook album...

Don't tempt me to add you as a friend!









Quote:


Originally Posted by *magstphil* 
You know this makes me think of a great money making idea for Mothering! A admin and mod calendar. We could have NFL themes like hanging cloth diapers to dry outside in a bikini with soap suds all over you.

Should I PM Georgia with this or contact the magazine itself?









That's just an awesome idea! I'd totally buy it!









Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
Other than my profile pic on Facebook, there really aren't any pictures on me online.

Tsk, that's not what you said over here!


----------



## PreggieUBA2C (Mar 20, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *spruce* 
... as though what I have is a disease instead of a pregnancy.









I've been pg 7 times and not had one happy, supported pg. I've done everything myself- all the support I had was from me, alone.

After ds4 was born, he had planned a vasectomy, and when it was cancelled for the third time, he started to wonder why and if there wasn't something going on that he should explore. He did, decided he didn't want one, decided that life is so precious and our life so full of possibilities and potential that he is open to whichever little people come to join us in the future. He has assumed I'm pg every month since my cycles have returned (8 months now) and has been giddy about the possibility (since he brings hpts home and asks me to check even when it's not the right time...).

He also asked for my forgiveness for causing me so much sadness and stress during my pgs, for not supporting me in my changing role and 'skin.'

He is now an adamant and outspoken supporter of all things natural child-rearing and child-birthing!









I took nearly seven years for this change, and it was all his exploration motivated by his own need and recognition that all was not as it could be for him.

I just shared because maybe this story can give you hope and peace to allow your dh's process of becoming whole and recognising his changing role in his life. It is very hard, no doubt, ime, but authentic only when not compelled, but discovered freely, imo.

It always irked me that as the one carrying the little person growing in my body, I didn't have such a luxury as my dh, to put off discovering who I can be with a new life connected with mine- not that I'd want to prolong that, but just that as a man, he had this self-indulgent drawn-out temper tantrum that only he could assume to afford. Meanwhile, I was raising, nursing, carrying, growing, etc... real, live children.

It was an enormous relief when he jumped aboard our family boat!!!







: It's been a wonderful thing to see how our children are right with him in all of his learning even now and even when it's burdensome to us. Seven years of a lack of awareness can't be undone in a year, and dh feels so rushed to learn a lot of the time. He sometimes feels like he'll never catch up. A few books have helped a lot- The Continuum Concept, Hold Onto Your Kids, Unconditional Parenting, etc...

Some days are pretty rough though, and I feel overwhelmed with raising four boys and also raising a fully-grown father- or at least a father from newbie to seven years in in such a short time. The children don't wait though, and neither does life, so it's catch up or be left behind, as harsh as that seems. There;s really no way around it though.

So,







to you.


----------



## MrsSurplus (Dec 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PreggieUBA2C* 
He also asked for my forgiveness for causing me so much sadness and stress during my pgs, for not supporting me in my changing role and 'skin.'

He is now an adamant and outspoken supporter of all things natural child-rearing and child-birthing!

















That is wonderful! Better late than never!


----------



## mommajb (Mar 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
I'm only chatting here, even though I started the Facebook group.







I like to friend people and get a feel for what they're up to during the day. I never meant we couldn't chat here! To be honest, I don't really get what the groups are for, except maybe to post links and interesting stories, and for me to have a place to talk where the youth group kids aren't listening.

I really can't keep up with one more thing. I keep signing up and joining but honestly my life is overflowing right now. I go online to de-stress to build a to-do list. Without the list I forget everything.

I signed up for FB so I could see one friend's photos, I join groups when I fear they might migrate there and then it unravels. That said, I joined the FB group for this thread and my photo is there but it is just a close up cropped from when we took 83 photos _trying_ to get a family photo for Christmas. Who knows what my mil will come up with as the only thing wants this is year?


----------



## mataji4 (Sep 28, 2006)

So how early can you feel pregnancy symptoms with a 5th baby???







Not talking about this IRL...

I'm trying not to jump to conclusions and not freak out...but I'm feeling slight nausea and a very tender cervix. My nipples are super tender but sometimes I get that before my period too. My dh thinks I'm pregnancy b/c of a monologue I gave the other night about how I don't like the smell of carrots...he was cracking up. I'm due for my period soon so that means I'll know something soon. But I can't stand not knowing this time as I certainly didn't plan a baby now and I'm going to have to make some major adjustments to next year if indeed we're expecting.


----------



## rajahkat (Oct 1, 2003)

Well, I didn't really feel like I had any symptoms early on with this one. I'm not one to "know" I'm pregnant right after conception. I do tend to get that grabby ligament pain when I stand up suddenly. That's usually when it dawns on me I'm pregnant and this tends to happen right around the time my period is due anyway so I can test.

Hang in there!


----------



## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Jenny, I had that OMG, thumping feeling at about 12 dpo where you KNOW and you're afraid to test, but I was on edge all cycle because of the broken condom incident. And I still have virtually no symptoms now, apart from doing a convincing impression of a beached whale.


----------



## pixiekisses (Oct 14, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
(..)And I still have virtually no symptoms now, apart from doing a convincing impression of a beached whale.










You crack me up.

(And I know the feeling.)


----------



## rajahkat (Oct 1, 2003)

Yeah, I'm already doing the beached whale thing and I'm only 7 weeks along. Dear lord, the bloating!


----------



## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

With me, it's more the belching. I haven't been able to let ones this good rip since college.







Kat, it's great to have another MoM in the Feb. DDC!


----------



## mataji4 (Sep 28, 2006)

Well, let's put it this way, I will be really surprised if I'm not pregnant. And I've only felt that way about three times in my life.

Yup, I'm 12 dpo now.

I LOVE SUMMER!!!







: My dh and I are both teachers, so though he does some landscaping and I do some summer camps, there are times like now when we can sleep in and let the house go a bit, play games with the kids, take it easy. Aaahhh....


----------



## mommajb (Mar 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
Jenny, I had that OMG, thumping feeling at about 12 dpo where you KNOW and you're afraid to test, but I was on edge all cycle because of the broken condom incident. And I still have virtually no symptoms now, apart from doing a convincing impression of a beached whale.

Pin-headed whale is my phrase. As in, "I might get a short haircut after delivery and after I lose all the baby weight. If I do it now I would look like a pinheaded whale."

No, I'm not pregnant but I do still wear pony-tail.


----------



## mataji4 (Sep 28, 2006)

Oh man, now I'm having my second migraine in a week. arg! My dh is on the river today and tomorrow for a solo trip. Great timing as always!! (that's sarcasm)

At least it's close to bedtime- I'll make it.


----------



## baltic_ballet (May 17, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *spruce* 
Oh, I am so sorry to hear you were all ill!

Men can be such babies with an illness...my DH will soldier through pain, fatigue, etc (he's FD, so the lack of sleep and intensely hard work can be really tough)...but throw a sniffle his way, and wow.







Just don't tell him I said that.

Hopefully life is on the upswing at your place, and congrats on the little one!

love, p

Thanks Spruce for your kind words
















I had a migraine today too but I didn't want to take anything too strong in my "condition"


----------



## mataji4 (Sep 28, 2006)

What is it with migraines?? SO many friends of mine get them too. I get them about once a month, during times of hormonal shifts in my cycle, and I have gotten them in pregnancy too- and yes, not being able to take excedrin migraine leaves me a mess for a full day.

It did pass quickly for me b/c I did take the meds- crossed my fingers if I was pregnant that it wouldn't interfere with what was going on this early. With no dh here, I didn't feel like I had a choice!


----------



## Jannah6 (Aug 29, 2007)

I got them during my 5th pregnancy and my Dr gave me a prescription that was safe during pregnancy.


----------



## rajahkat (Oct 1, 2003)

Sorry about the migraines, dh gets them and he's no good for days.

So, I was planning on hiring a midwife for this pregnancy & of the two I was interested in, one is moving to Ashland, and the other apparently is moving toward teaching instead of practicing. She's not calling me back.

Not that I mind too much, as my other 4 were UCs. I guess I can just go without again. I just thought it might be fun to go the midwife route this time. And I really wanted some pitocin or methergine on hand just in case of bleeding...... oh what to do, what to do.


----------



## mommajb (Mar 4, 2005)

Kat, sometimes a bit of extra support makes a big difference in comfort levels doesn't it? I hope you find both.

Charlotte, dd3, turned 4 today. We are on our second round of cupcakes and ice cream.







She is having such a pleasant day even finishing it with a bubble bath. Since our last birthday in February she has been planning her dinner. Well, we were game and took her to the deli where she ordered grilled cheese and teddy grahams that she proceeded to give to her father and brothers. I think she ate 1 bite of sandwich. They held off as long as they could before eating it and once it was gone... You guessed it, she changed her mind.


----------



## mataji4 (Sep 28, 2006)

Kat, my last labor was really long and though it was fine, I do think someone doing labor support could have been helpful. And afterwards I tore and wished I had someone else's opinion about how serious it looked. I have thought about hiring a doula next time, to just come to the birth and do labor support. Also to be in charge of the kids...someone who is on call for this and isn't a friend who takes a while to arrange their life and come over...just a thought.

Why the worry about bleeding?? I bled the least with my third, but less with my fourth than my first two. You might be able to find a midwife who'd sell you a couple methergene pills...when I worked with a midwife we often left a couple with the mom postpartum if she lived real rurally, in case of emergencies.


----------



## rajahkat (Oct 1, 2003)

It's not so much that I'm worried about bleeding. I just don't want to assume I won't have an issue just because I haven't before. Having something on hand would be a heck of a lot easier than rushing to the hospital in the middle of winter, with all these kids, on icy roads, with a newborn, bleeding heavily, you get it.









My major concern is my husband flies out of town for work 2-3 times a month. I don't want to get caught having a baby with no one to call for some help. Again, I've done it before, my 2nd babe was born while he was working. BUT, with 4 kids now, and no help, and DH a days worth of flying away, it just sounds like the makings of a nightmare!

And in other news, I sewed a little diaper today! I'm so proud of myself.







There is a picture if you click on my siggy, if those things are still working.


----------



## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Cute diaper and beautiful paintings!


----------



## PreggieUBA2C (Mar 20, 2007)

I started to haemmorhage after ds3 was born (first freebirth) and at that moment, went o the kitchen and made three large capsules of ground cayenne pepper. I took them and in about a minute, I felt them open in my stomach and I stopped bleeding within a minute of that. I stopped completely, that is- no blood at all! After a while- a couple of hours I think (I don't remember this part very well presently), I started bleeding again, but it was light and stayed that way for the next week and then stopped.

I had very little blood at all with the whole birthing process with ds4- maybe a cup altogether. It was extremely light for a birth and following. I bled waaaaay more after my 2 c/s than with my two freebirths.

There are recipes for hot pepper tinctures that stop bleeding online. Many healers/drs around the world have always and still do carry hot pepper tincture to stop bleeding in an emergency. You can put it on a wound directly and it will work there too (though I imagine it would be very painful initially) and to restart a heart that has stopped in any age-group. It is also given to a newborn who has stopped breathing or who is bleeding profusely.

I only have the one experience, but it was very fast-acting, and I didn't even have the full-potency of a tincture- just the dry spice from my cupboard!

Hth.


----------



## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

I'm really hesitant to recommend cayenne to anyone because whilst it causes a temporary lull in bleeding, it is a warming herb and stimulates the circulatory system. In my case I took it to stimulate 2nd stage contractions, and wound up with a PPH (though there were other factors too.)
Saying that, I'm even more sceptical about self-administering pitocin- I think pretty much the only thing I'd be comfortable with using unattended is cervidil, and not until the placenta is out. I think if things are going badly enough that you need active management of the third stage then someone else needs to be looking after you (and the kids, and the dog, and, and, and) so you can focus on getting better and adoring the new baby.
Kat, I hope you find someone. I'd keep trying the midwife who is moving into teaching, if I were you- because after all, she's got to be teaching someone. She might be able to put you in touch with someone else.


----------



## MrsSurplus (Dec 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
With me, it's more the belching. I haven't been able to let ones this good rip since college.







Kat, it's great to have another MoM in the Feb. DDC!

LOL. I thought I was the only one for whom incessant burping is a sure sign of pregnancy.

Technically I'm due in January - but my babies are always about 2 weeks past my edd so I'm just calling it February and skipping the last 2 weeks of people saying, "haven't you had that baby yet???"


----------



## MrsSurplus (Dec 30, 2005)

Maybe it's my age. Maybe it's the high pollen count and my awful allergies. Maybe it's that it's summer and we live on a ranch and we have way too much to do this time of year. Whatever the cause, I look and feel like a haggard old lady most of the time these days. Most of the time I'm too tired and busy to care...but when I look in the mirror (especially when my particularly young-looking and hot hubby comes in after a long day) I think, "HOLY COW, woman...you need to do something about this!"

Any tips for some *quick* "pick me ups" in terms of feeling and looking less tired...less like I've been hit by a truck throughout the day?


----------



## Aurora (May 1, 2002)

I have been absent from MDC for several months but I wanted to stop in here again. A quick reintro: I am a homeschooling mama to 4 beautiful children ages 11, 9, 5, and 3 next month. I love to knit, read, and garden. We live in a tiny little basement apartment and I struggle with clutter. I have plans to become a midwife once my children are a bit older. I am going the self study route for the time being. I might start school in the Fall.

Congrats on all the babies!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
I'm really hesitant to recommend cayenne to anyone because whilst it causes a temporary lull in bleeding, it is a warming herb and stimulates the circulatory system. In my case I took it to stimulate 2nd stage contractions, and wound up with a PPH (though there were other factors too.)









This has been my experience as well.

My second loss was at 13 weeks and I started gushing blood in the middle of the night. My dh worked graveyards at the time and I was alone with 3 little ones. I was shaky and cold and managed to call my dh and tell him to come home. I swallowed several cayenne caps and then passed out. The cayenne slowed down the hemorrhage for a bit, enough time for dh to get home, but then it came back much worse. Ended up transferring and had all kinds of fun in the ER. Looking back I can't say I wish I hadn't taken it because it did slow down the bleeding until my dh could get home and take care of us. But if he had not been on his way when I took it things could have turned out much different than they did.


----------



## rajahkat (Oct 1, 2003)

I've heard the same about cayenne. Had it recommended to me when I was researching PPH during my 2nd pregnancy. Then an herbalist told me no way. Yes, great for heart attack, not so great for bleeds as they can come back stronger later.

I've always got yunan payao on hand for bleeding. I've not had to use it, but I spoke to a midwife at a conference earlier this year, and she said that's what they use at her birth center and she's seen it work beautifully. It's just my nature to be thinking, "okay, if that doesn't work, THEN what?"

Welcome back Aurora!










Mrs.Surplus~ How about some juicing? A few yoga poses followed by a cold shower. And a honey pat? (Cover your face with honey & pat it till it gets sticky, then rinse off.)


----------



## MrsSurplus (Dec 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rajahkat* 
Mrs.Surplus~ How about some juicing? A few yoga poses followed by a cold shower. And a honey pat? (Cover your face with honey & pat it till it gets sticky, then rinse off.)

Thank you, Kat. I'll try those. (Btw, I like the dipe on your website. Very cute!)


----------



## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Aurora, it sounds like you have a lovely family! I checked out your blog and I love your knitted tea cup.

MrsSurplus, I've finally resorted to wearing makeup. For years, I didn't, and now I just find it makes a big difference in how I feel. Shallow? Perhaps.


----------



## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

My eldest ds was 16 yesterday. We'l' it's yesterday now here but still today for most of you!

We had lasagne for dinner followed by chocolate cake with strawberries and cream. Yum yum!

Dh and I and the girls picked the strawberries this afternoon at a farm we can get to by bike so we had fun getting them.

16 years seems such a long time ago now and part of another life. Dd2 will be 3 soon and I can't imagine what will happen between now and when she is 16! Time flies.


----------



## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Oh, bless him. Can you say happy birthday from me, please?









MrsSurplus, I'm currently going through a yummy mummy phase- which gets me, more or less, out of the "total slob" category, but not much.
1) Get a haircut.
2) Facial scrub- this will make more difference than anything else.
3) Always, always, always, no matter how many children you have or how much other stuff you should be doing, cleanse, tone and moisturise and use sunscreen. We'll never be glamorous grannies if we don't keep the bare minimum in place now.

Throwing out other ideas, makeup- I got a sample kit from essential minerals that I love- nail polish, accessorizing (seriously. Look at the people whose style you admire and I bet there's a scarf, a necklace, a belt, somewhere in there.) With seriousness, though, you're in the first trimester. You can fake it, but feeling like crap is par for the course.

Baby is thumping away now. It's quite nice. Unfortunately, our neighbours decided to party until 3am, and I feel like crap because I haven't had enough sleep.


----------



## mommajb (Mar 4, 2005)

I'm in the camp of short term looks may not be much but where do I want to be in the long term. I eat 'clean', exercise, shower and try to moisturize/sunscreen. In another decade whether or not I wore mascara won't matter but my health will. I tell myself that the fewer products I use the fewer chemicals I am putting in my body. This has to be good, right? I do feel better with a bit of mascara and a pair of stylish jeans that fit well if nothing else.


----------



## fairymom (Sep 15, 2008)

MoMs I need to vent for a moment, about dh and his job.Dh has been w/his boss and job for 1+ and has never gotten a raise. Money here is tight always! And his boss has told him he'd get a raise numerous times over the last year but has never owned up to the deal. He'd tell DH if he did so and so he'll give him a raise and Dh always does it, above and beyond and still no raise! Boss is now on the well I feel bad giving you just a $1 raise it's just not that much. But to us a $1 raise means $150 more per month after taxes! That's a lot here- like the phone and electric bill each month! It's so frustrating. After paying all the bills we live on about $100 for things like tp, and dog food,etc.

And DH will not find another job! I love DH to death- he's a wonderful dad,husband and loyal hard worker. Takes pride in everything he does so he goes above and beyond to do it. But his loyalty to his boss is driving us down. He'll come home and talk about his day and how his boss wants him to work extra shifts/projects (like maintance on the store- but pays him his cook wages) and I just can't listen to it anymore. It frustrates me to no end that he won't just tell his boss no. I even told Dh not to talk about work anymore and I feel so bad about it because I am interested in his day and what he did but just CAN NOT STAND IT. I've tried talking to DH about getting a new or 2nd job and he says he's trying (I don't see it IRL), and we have decided that me going back to work will just end up costing us more than its worth. So its on him.

I am grateful to have a place we can afford and that we're keeping our heads above water but that's just it- we're not getting ahead at all and are stuck where we are, not moving forward. Something we both want! ARRRGH!

Sorry I just needed to let that out, and I know some of you MoMs would understand, with raising large families yourselves!Ok trying to let it go now.


----------



## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

Fairymom. Vent away! Talking to people IRL about financial things when you have a large family is really pointless isn't it? I've given up as most people think we have brought this on ourselves having 'so many' kids and then not sending two of them to school.

My dh got so fed up with his job that he left it and we started our own business. This has yet to prove the solution to our problem but at least we are in charge of our destiny to some extent and not at the whim of miserable bosses.

It is scary leaving a job that you know and feel comfortable in and I think that sometimes although we at home can see the problem it is quite a leap for our dh's to see the problem and do something about it. He may see trying a new job as a risk because it might not work out and giving the boss an ultimatum might backfire too. The bird in your hand is not large or laying eggs but it is worth two in the bush!

Flapjack, I've passed on your birthday wishes which were gratefully received. and I'm glad to hear your little one is bumping around in there now.


----------



## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Fairymom







He'll see the light at some point. I hope. In fact, I hope both men in the equation have one of those "wonderful world" moments where one of them doubles the employee's salary and then the other decides to readjust his work life balance and start his own business farming yaks or whatever.


----------



## mommajb (Mar 4, 2005)

Fairymom - I do understand and orangefoot said it well about others feeling we have brought this on ourselves by making the choices we have. I have a constant struggle between wanting more and wanting to be happy with less. I hope your dh sees it your way soon.









flapjack, it is so exciting to think about a baby moving around. As a total aside my dd2 is Helen which is a rather unique name here in the US


----------



## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Fairymom, that sounds so frustrating! And I agree with orangefoot, it is hard feeling like you can't talk about things because everyone is looking at your large family like you brought it on yourself.







I hope your hubby's boss gets his head out of his nether-regions.

Hooray for thumpy babies! I will feel so relieved once I am out of the first trimester. I'm trying to figure out how I can a first trimester ultrasound.







: I'm getting one a some point this pregnancy, but my midwife wanted to do the 20 week one. We're having a homebirth, but I've been in contact with an ob-gyn because I have low progesterone and we lost a baby before. I'd just feel better knowing there's really a little bean growing in there. I haven't felt sick today, so I am feeling worried.


----------



## suziek (Jun 4, 2004)

Light in the middle of the tunnel post: I'm at 23weeks and I feel wonderful.My baby is so busy and active. Summer is here. I have energy again. My kids are thriving. And I think I look as good as I feel--if I do say so myself. You'll get there, too, first trimester moms! Mid-pregnancy is just such a great time.

I have a great DH, too, fairymom. He, too, finds it easier to say no to me and the kids than to is ever-more-demanding bosses. But he says no to himself even more. He's such a workaholic and with this economy (and given his field) he just can't relax. No advice, but I do feel for you...


----------



## mataji4 (Sep 28, 2006)

Oh it's so hard to love your dh and support him but not agree with a choice he's making. You're a loving wife for trying hard!









Kat and who else has felt "tugging" sensations in early pregnancy...can I have a descriptive detail? I don't think what I'm feeling is cramps. I'm going to take a test soon but don't want to too early as I've been down that road before and it's very frustrating...as in me: "I know it says negative, honey, but it's still really early."...him: "Then why did you take it???"

He had a good point really.

I just threw a blessingway for my sister in law...it's a first cousin for my kids and we are all so happy and excited that he is coming!! and spent the weekend with an 18 week pregnant good friend from out of town, so it's been all baby talk all weekend and I'm feeling kinda baby-talked out! but I love that you're baby is thumping!


----------



## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

AM, I've had two consecutive pregnancies now with little or no nausea







- after three consecutive losses. Sometimes, mother nature gives you what you need, not what you want. Let go. Trust your body. It will all be right.

So tired today







How can one night of not enough sleep do this to you? I just seem to have been wiped out all weekend


----------



## pixiekisses (Oct 14, 2008)

fairymom:








anettemarie, do the u/s if it makes you feel better.








And yay for bouncy babies!

I'm on an overseas airport, we're going home to Oz for vacation! I'm so excited!








So far all is well, the kids are sleeping atm. while waiting for the next flight, well, not our 10.5 yo., he's just as awake as we are.
It's really weird to just have 4 kids to watch (sig.), and we have our oldest daughter with us for help so an extra set of arms and eyes, very nice.


----------



## MrsSurplus (Dec 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
MrsSurplus, I've finally resorted to wearing makeup. For years, I didn't, and now I just find it makes a big difference in how I feel. Shallow? Perhaps.

LOL. I love being in a forum where people _resort_ to makeup! I actually put on makeup yesterday for church (although I couldn't find anything to put on my lips but chapstick) and I felt SO much better. This sounds kooky, but I also had some sandals with heels that I hadn't wore in ages (as opposed to my wear-everywhere-and-they-look-like-it Sandals or my gardening clogs) and I felt so...grown up.







I think you're on to something!


----------



## MrsSurplus (Dec 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
1) Get a haircut.
2) Facial scrub- this will make more difference than anything else.
3) Always, always, always, no matter how many children you have or how much other stuff you should be doing, cleanse, tone and moisturise and use sunscreen. We'll never be glamorous grannies if we don't keep the bare minimum in place now.
.

LOL. Thank you for the great suggestions...and the reminder that I want to be a glam granny someday!


----------



## MrsSurplus (Dec 30, 2005)

fairymom:







That is hard...but I agree with PPs that your hubby will likely begin to tire of this also.


----------



## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

I was being entirely serious about the facial scrub, btw. I used to work for Lush, and exfoliation makes an almost unbelievable difference to your skin.

Dumb question. How long is too long to store clothes between kids? I have 7 years between DS2 and DS3, and if the new one is a girl then there'll be 4 years between DD1 and DD2. Do I keep everything? Just the major brand names? None of it?

Oh, and my mission for today was shopping for pretty hairclips on etsy and folksy. I don't think I'm turning into a yummy mummy after all, I think I'm turning into a 3yo girl







:


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
Dumb question. How long is too long to store clothes between kids? I have 7 years between DS2 and DS3, and if the new one is a girl then there'll be 4 years between DD1 and DD2. Do I keep everything? Just the major brand names? None of it?

I don't think it's a dumb question! I was just having this argument in my head last night as I cleaned out DSS 14's drawers! There are six years between DSS 14 and DSS 8. Here are the things that I keep:

-khaki pants and shorts

-polos

-PJs

Everything else like jeans and other types of shorts and t-shirts get sold on Ebay. One reason is because we just do not have enough storage to handle holding on to things that long. The other thing is stuff goes out of style, you know? Khakis and polos do not so if they are still in good shape, I move them to the back of the closet and hope I remember that they are there before I buy more! PJs fit differently and DSS 8 has taken to wearing old t-shirts and boxers to bed so those can stick around for a long time!


----------



## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AnnieA* 
I don't think it's a dumb question! I was just having this argument in my head last night as I cleaned out DSS 14's drawers! There are six years between DSS 14 and DSS 8. Here are the things that I keep:

-khaki pants and shorts

-polos

-PJs

Everything else like jeans and other types of shorts and t-shirts get sold on Ebay. One reason is because we just do not have enough storage to handle holding on to things that long. The other thing is stuff goes out of style, you know? Khakis and polos do not so if they are still in good shape, I move them to the back of the closet and hope I remember that they are there before I buy more! PJs fit differently and DSS 8 has taken to wearing old t-shirts and boxers to bed so those can stick around for a long time!

I hold on to anything that is not stained, or has holes. My girls are 5 years apart. I don't care of it is out of style and neither do they until they are about 9 or 10. My 5 year old was wearing clothes my 15 year old wore at well at 6 or 7. (older one was small and youngest is really tall.) No one cares.. the kids don't care.. and why buy nice new stylish clothes to play in the mud?

Now I find after the kid are about 9 or 10.. not only do they care about style.. but the jeans just don't hold up. They all have holes in the knees. My 10 year old is wearing a few my mother cut off and hemmed of my oldest for shorts (cause of holes.) And she is wearing a few pairs of my oldests jeans as well.. (except the buttcrack jeans.. I am getting rid of those and glad they are out of style!) Oh and I do buy a few new clothes for each of them so all their clothes aren't hand me downs.

But yea.. in my opinion.. its OK to hold on to them as long as you feel you need to.


----------



## tifpaul (Nov 13, 2006)

Back to the yummy mummy/ glam gram topic.

I have a couple of facial masques that make a lot of difference. One is an exfoliating pumpkin, and the other is a Dr. Hauschka revitalizing one. Both are pricey (for me!) - 40 to 50 each, but they last a long time.

I didn't used to think that facials and masques made any difference besides making me feel like I was taking care of my skin, but now that I'm approaching 40, I can see the difference.

I've been reading this thread avidly for several months . . . just became a MOM in May : )
Tiffany


----------



## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

Helen I have to ask what is your favorite facial scrub, Lush or otherwise?


----------



## MrsSurplus (Dec 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
I was being entirely serious about the facial scrub, btw. I used to work for Lush, and exfoliation makes an almost unbelievable difference to your skin.

Dumb question. How long is too long to store clothes between kids? I have 7 years between DS2 and DS3, and if the new one is a girl then there'll be 4 years between DD1 and DD2. Do I keep everything? Just the major brand names? None of it?

I've heard great things about Lush but never tried it. I have no doubt I could use a good exfoliation!

For me it depends on where I get the clothes. I get ours nearly entirely from yard sales...so I have no desire to save them if there's a large gap in kids. However, if I were buying name brands at retail prices, I know I'd feel differently.


----------



## fairymom (Sep 15, 2008)

hand-me-downs- I save the cute stuff from dd 15 for dd 10 and then for dd 7.but we also get a lot from a friend for dd 7 because her youngest is 8 and one size bigger than dd7.so sometimes she ends up w/a lot of clothes!







I've just started saving the good (not worn out) from ds4 for babe.But he's really hard on his clothes so mostly its just pjs. There is too big (and not enough room) an age difference to save from ds14 for ds4. But we've just started to hand down clothes from dh to ds14!







Its probably a good thing dd7 is the youngest girl saving them wouldn't be an option- she blows the knees out on all her pants and likes to paint so lots of stains on her shirts!


----------



## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

Keeping clothes? If you truly honestly have space to keep things without them getting manky then I'd keep the things which are connected to good memories and let the rest go.

Stuff for little kids comes from the universe when you need it and can evein be over-plentiful ime. Just recently I have let go some things that were really cool but I didn't have room for and I hope that the person who finds them in the charity shop gets as much of a buzz from that discovery as I did when I first found them. Pass the love on







:

I've had girlie hair clips in my hair for a week now instead of getting the clippers out and cutting the whole lot off!


----------



## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Yeah, storage can be an issue- otoh, vacuum sacks are in poundland at the moment.

I think I'm going to save the things I get emotional about- like the black dungies that have done all four kids so far, and the handknits, and everything else can go.


----------



## mommajb (Mar 4, 2005)

We have so muchfo rthe younger girls as dd1's friends' mothers are more than excitied to pas it on. I sort through it, keep what I like that is in good condition, and use what we can. It seems to grow each season so I have to purge more aggressively whenwe pull things out but not having to pay maney for play clothes is totally worth it.


----------



## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DreamsInDigital* 
Helen I have to ask what is your favorite facial scrub, Lush or otherwise?

Sorry, I missed this. I love ocean salt, though I'm very cautious about putting cocoa butter on my face- it's comedogenic. I love herbalism, but I'm using angels on bare skin at the moment and it's yummy.


----------



## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

Ooh I love angels on bare skin!


----------



## rajahkat (Oct 1, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mataji4* 

Kat and who else has felt "tugging" sensations in early pregnancy...can I have a descriptive detail? I don't think what I'm feeling is cramps. I'm going to take a test soon but don't want to too early as I've been down that road before and it's very frustrating...as in me: "I know it says negative, honey, but it's still really early."...him: "Then why did you take it???"


I might be a little late, I haven't read through the rest of the thread, I've been happily away from the computer for a few days.







Maybe you've already tested.....

anyhoo, I get a sudden pull when I stand up, right inside my hip bones. It literally makes me double over. I feel it in a milder way at other times too. Just sitting & walking sometimes. Just inside my hip bones at a diagnal. Like a triangle with my pubic bone at the point. Same place I feel labor pains & afterpains. HTH.


----------



## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

You know, the dizziness I am experiencing this pregnancy totally makes up for not being able to drink. It's like getting a buzz on, but randomly and I have no clue when it will hit or how long it will last. Good times.

So, I have a question-- have any of you ever come across a pregnancy book for moms of many or at least of more than two? I have this idea for a book. No energy to write it, but an idea.


----------



## suziek (Jun 4, 2004)

I've never come across a book like that, annettemarie, but I would certainly like to read one.

I've notices that there is often a little section in pregnancy books about welcoming a sibling, but the writer always seems to assume this is a second baby, not a fourth or seventh.

I think a book about third or later pregnancies and the early baby period would be great!


----------



## Aurora (May 1, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 

So, I have a question-- have any of you ever come across a pregnancy book for moms of many or at least of more than two? I have this idea for a book. No energy to write it, but an idea.

I never have. I think your idea sounds great!


----------



## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Oh, and clothes storage. Anything good, I save. As things are making their way through my boys, I'm finding I have less and less to reuse.







I have pretty much all my daughter's clothes. Oh, how I'm hoping and praying this is a girl! But I have an attic, basement, and garage for storing stuff.

RE: the book idea. I thought about not only the physical being pregnant stuff, but also the practicalities of managing things when you have a boatload of kids and you're exhausted and sick.


----------



## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Never seen such a book, but I reckon if you start with a blog- and advertising, and run the blog as a business- often the book deal follows. At least, that's how it works with knitting.


----------



## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

Is it time for a July thread?


----------



## suziek (Jun 4, 2004)

see you there!


----------



## mataji4 (Sep 28, 2006)

it's July...

http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1106094


----------

