# 2 and a half yr old developmental milestones



## nebula228 (Jun 5, 2012)

Hi All,

I am kind of concerned. Any advice is very highly appreciated.

My son is 2 and a half yrs. He is very verbal and has a very good vocabulary. Very talkative and and always asking questions.

I have my nephew who is 3 yrs old and is border line autistic. He is a very bright kid who actually is very much interested in alphabets and words and even numbers. And since he likes repetitive things he likes counting numbers and stuff. He can actually even spell words which is pretty advanced for his age. So he is a sort of genius.

Coming back to my son, he is interested in a wide variety of things. He can label stuff and when we show him a page from a story book he can actually tell whats happening in that situation. But he does not share the same interest in alphabets and numbers. I mean he knows his alphabets but when i try to teach him words he does not pay attention. He does listen when i read out loud. He does knows numbers but does not repeat them very often.

I wanted to know if i am being unfair to him by comparing him to my nephew. He still hasn't shown interest in writing, though he scribbles. He is very fond of cars and like to play with them for some time in the day. He goes to the day care and I haven't received any complaints about him yet.

I am concerned that he will not do well academically. Or is he at least right on his milestones.

Please advice!

Thank you!


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## callahansmama (Mar 21, 2011)

My son is not quite 2.5, he's almost 27 months but he doesn't even know any letter or number symbols. He only counts the way he wants to (one, two, one, ten!). He listens to stories and is very verbal with an extensice vocab as well but I am not worried about those academic skills just yet myself. I show him letters and numbers and we count and we read but I just feel that he will pick them up when he's developmentally ready. I teach kindergarten and many kids from even the most involved families, do not know all their letters and certainly not all the sounds when they are even 4 and 5 but once it clicks, it happens quickly. I think your nephew and all autistic kids cannot really be compared to a typically developing kid and that in my experience, unless there's a delay of some sort (which I am sure is not the case with your son) they all learn at different paces but eventually do learn it, without explicit teaching all the time. As a teacher and early childhood educator, I don't think it's developmentally appropriate or expected for a 2.5 year old to be making words and spelling. He's just perfect. One day it will click when he's developmentally ready


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## Honey693 (May 5, 2008)

I have a friend who's 2 year old knows her colors, alphabet, letter sounds, numbers and can count to 20. My 2 y/o doesn't even know most of her colors. I'm just thrilled she finally started to say thank you. At that age there's such a big gap between what certain kids know, but I've noticed it starts to even out around 3.5 or so.


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## nebula228 (Jun 5, 2012)

Thank you all for your replies. I know its very wrong to compare two kids. But i do feel sad when my son is compared to my nephew and everyone sort of labels him like he won't do good academically because does not know his spellings or he does not count numbers like my nephew does. And labels my nephew as a Genius because he does extraordinary things for his age. I mean if my nephew really does that I will be really happy but why label my son.


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## DCMama01 (Aug 28, 2009)

DD is 2.5 and will be 3 in November. She also knows her numbers to 40, the alphabet, letter recognition, letter sounds, shapes, colors, days of the week. As far as I know, she's a normally functioning child. The difference is there's a strong academic piece at her daycare (learning is play based usually fyi). Virtually all of the kids in her class know these things and I'm pretty sure they're not all "gifted". If she were still attending the home daycare I originally put her in, which was largely play based, she would probably be the same as your son. I used to try to teach her things at home, but I can honestly say its simply the environment she's in day to day at school. They make learning tons of fun.

Just keep in mind that this really won't matter in a couple of years. Your son will be fine! And be careful that he's not hearing those negative comments from other people, as that can be more damaging than anything.


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## Bmorefarmgirl (Jul 7, 2009)

My son is 2.5 and he counts 1, 3, 2, 3, 2! If you say 6, he will sometimes say 7, 8. He can identify the letter O sometimes. When he sings the alphabet, he goes, " a b c e f g, next wont sing with me." I think it sounds like your son is doing just fine to me.


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## abigail_b (May 3, 2007)

Your son is totally normal. You should be working on fostering his imagination, not his retention of "academic subjects". You may want to check out this website: http://www.allianceforchildhood.org/, specifically this article: http://www.allianceforchildhood.org/sites/allianceforchildhood.org/files/file/crisis_in_early_ed.pdf

He has a long while to go before he should be reading and writing.

Here is the quote at the beginning that fairly well summarizes the article, for those who may not want to read the whole thing:

"While early formal instruction may appear to show good test results at first, in the long term, in follow-up studies, such children have had no advantage. On the contrary, especially in the case of boys, subjection to early formal instruction increases their tendency to distance themselves from the goals of schools, and to drop out of it, either mentally or physically."
-Lilian G. Katz,
Professor Emeritus, U. of Illinois


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## dejagerw (Jan 5, 2010)

Here's a good development tracker for older kids.

http://www.pbs.org/parents/childdevelopmenttracker/two/index.html

It's best not to compare your child to your nephew.


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## tropicana (Sep 11, 2011)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *abigail_b*
> 
> Your son is totally normal. You should be working on fostering his imagination, not his retention of "academic subjects". You may want to check out this website: http://www.allianceforchildhood.org/, specifically this article: http://www.allianceforchildhood.org/sites/allianceforchildhood.org/files/file/crisis_in_early_ed.pdf
> 
> ...


AMEN!

2 and a half. a toddler. barely above a baby.

tell me: what is the point of drilling names of colors and identifying numbers and letters, let alone memorizing what certain words look like in print??

when i see this happening i feel sad for the child.

let them play, for gosh sakes. let them invent their own little games, their own little role playing, use their imaginations!

their minds are so pure and so open and the world is their oyster. this is the only time in their lives that everything will be so magical and everything will seem to be possible. who's to say everything is not actually possible.

i'm astounded sometimes at the questions and comments my children come up with. (they are 6 and 2 and a half). so, so often, my reply can only be: "that's a really good question. i just don't know." (and my daughter knows that my next answer is to "google it" and see what other ideas we can spin off the original question... that's just how i think about things. i guess i live in the world of ideas, too.)

anyhow... to get back to the OP: you are comparing your child to a cousin who is borderline autistic and feeling sad that your child doesn't exhibit some of the same tendencies.

remember that, one day, when the going gets tougher for your nephew. not that being autistic doesn't have an upside, it obviously does have a strong upside. but also so many challenges.

i don't know though. i guess i'm just a lot more relaxed about it, but i have no such drills about colors and numbers, except to maybe work it into daily life. do you want the red one or the blue one? and let him pick. he picks wrong color for description? point it out nicely. that's not red! it's blue! you want the blue one? OK.

all that stuff comes and comes and comes.

the real beauty in early childhood i think is learning cooperation in groups, problem solving and critical thinking skills (which can be taught by the parent -- when the child asks, "why is such and such this way?" reply with a question that helps lead him or her to determine their own answers.

etc. etc.


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## forestmushroom (Sep 6, 2011)

I haven't read all the posts, but that is totally normal. I have 5 kiddos and have had a number/letter oriented guy, and another child who didn't care for numbers and letters like your guy, but had a brilliant numbers sense and is gifted mathematically now as an 8 year old.

As a toddler/preschooler he was just busy/interested in other things such as art, nature, being physical, etc.

My oldest who was very number/letter oriented was also very into signs and symbols. He taught himself to read sometime in between 3 and 4 (or that is when we discovered it! )


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## GoBecGo (May 14, 2008)

I don't know what "borderline" autistic means.

My friend's son and my eldest are similar in age. At 2.5 she was very chatty, with a massive vocabulary for her age, she knew most of her colours but was patchy with remembering them. She had no idea about the alphabet but could count to 5 i think. He could recite his whole alphabet, and if you gave him crayons he arranged them into the colour spectrum (rather than drawing with them). He'd line his cars up in numerical order, up to 46. He could identify numbers up to 4 digits long.

He was dx ASD age 3. She is neurotypical.

They are both completely amazing. But the things that he was amazing at age 2.5 indicated his autism, not his "genius". His mind works differently to hers, which allowed him deeper insight into numbers and sequences. She was verbally way ahead of him, but now, age 6, they can converse easily on the same level. They are educationally on a par with one another.

Comparisons are tempting but they aren't all that useful. I'm sure on maths quiz day i could envy my friend's DS's ease with numbers. I'm sure when he's having a screaming fit due to the overload of being in a crowd my friend might like him to have my daughter's social ease. Thank goodness the world got both of them.


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## RJ11 (Jul 20, 2007)

If your nephew is truly on the spectrum then step aside and let him have the spotlight now because in the next few years he will likely have great difficulty socializing with his peers. This will be heartbreaking for his parents. Believe me from someone with personal experience. It is much harder for someone on the autism spectrum to learn social skills than it is for a neurotypical child to learn their letters and numbers and how to read and spell. Your son is 2 1/2! Relax and enjoy him. You should thank your lucky stars he has no autism traits. Again, if your nephew is on the spectrum by the time K rolls around he will stand out as a loner, the kids will notice he is acting differently from them and not playing with them, he will likely never play team sports, he may need an IEP to assist him at public school - he may need PT or OT to assist with gross motor and fine motor skills. My son could write his name and all the letters and numbers before he turned 3 but still qualified for OT because of weakness in his hands which is a neurological condition that is often present with ASD. My son could read words before he knew what they meant. He is almost 6 now and is perfectly social with me and all his family but often ignores his peers because he just doesn't "get" how to talk to them. And it does make him sad.


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