# Is it legal to serve your own children alcohol in your own home?



## crunchy_mommy

I'm referring more to just tastes or very small glasses of wine with dinner or whatever, I know this is done in many cultures, just wondering if it's legal in the US in most/all states?


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## meemee

i believe it is illegal to serve anyone under 21 alcohol no matter where they are or by whom. if my memory serves me right. i read about this some time ago.

so dont go rubbing in some irish whiskey on your babies gums.

i have a story to share from one of my history teachers who grew up in Slovakia and her whole family emigrated during the ethnic cleansing. so she was about 12 when her gparents were watching her and sent her to school with a packed lunch. bread, cheese and diluted wine in the water bottle. lunch lady 'caught' her and a huge fiasco occurred. for her it was an interesting place to be. her gparents were totally puzzled. she didnt see what the big deal was and her parents were trying so hard to fit in even if they didnt buy 'it'.


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## 34me

In my state it is covered under contributing to the delinquency of minors. We do it anyway but we have had a lot of conversations with our teens about how a lot of people (and the law) do not approve.

Edited to add - I was told the above as a waitstaff while in grad school. I started researching because of this post. I found this http://www.alcoholpolicy.niaaa.nih.gov/apis_state_profile.html?state=co

http://www.alcoholpolicy.niaaa.nih.gov/apis_state_profile.html?state=co . I am not breaking the law in my state! Just when we visit my parents, but not my ILs.


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## hildare

i have been told that in my state that it is legal to do so for your own children but no one else's. i haven't seen the exact wording of the law so that's hearsay fwiw.


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## Dacks

In Texas it is legal to allow your own kids to drink in your home. I know this because when I was in the military we had a junior enlisted person discharged for reporting to duty while drunk. She was underage, but stationed in her hometown and had been drinking at home with her parents when called in. The issue was that you can't drink while on-call, and that she should not have been driving drunk.


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## crowcaw

Didn't research to make sure it's accurate but:

http://drinkingage.procon.org/view.resource.php?resourceID=002591


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## mandalamama

when i was about 12, my dad would let me sip some wine if we were out having a nice dinner. my mom didn't exactly approve of it, but years later we talked about how it turned out really good because i knew what that alcohol "burn" felt like, and when i was at a party at 16, they had fruit punch with alcohol in it, i recognized that burn right away and didn't drink any more of it! that actually saved me from a lot of "spiked" drinks in the coming years. i was also able to warn my friends if alcohol was present in the beverages (the ones interested in not getting drunk, at least).

i have a lot of thinking to do about this subject, with my girl, and luckily i have a few more years. but what about just one taste? it seems like there is no other way to recognize that alcohol burn other than to feel it. i do want my girl to at some time have the same "warning" experience i had, that served me so well. telling a kid to cover their cup and never leave it unattended (just get a new drink if you've been away) is always good advice, but what if a kid can't tell there's alcohol spiking the 2-liter sodas? the punch bowl? the cooler with the spigot? very difficult decisions.


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## Smokering

I'd never really thought about the legal aspect of it. We don't drink much (I can't stand the taste of alcohol), but I'd be a bit peeved to think the government had any say in whether I gave my kids half a glass of wine with dinner, if I were so inclined.

DH did give our toddler cider once. She was nagging for it and he thought giving her a taste would hush her up. Of course, it backfired... she liked it. But now she holds her hand high above her head and says "I have to be THIS tall to drink coffee and cider!" So, no permanent damage done.


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## areawoman

I always thought it was fine to give your own kids alcohol, but not other people's kids.


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## 4evermom

It's illegal in my state. It's also harder to buy (isn't sold in grocery stores, only special shops). You used to never be able to buy it on Sundays but they have started having limited Sunday hours for the wine shops.


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## ollyoxenfree

Curious - if it's illegal to give ANY alcohol to someone under 21, does that include OTC cough syrups that contain alcohol? How many pharmacists check ID for a college student buying Robitussin?


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## 4evermom

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *ollyoxenfree*
> 
> Curious - if it's illegal to give ANY alcohol to someone under 21, does that include OTC cough syrups that contain alcohol? How many pharmacists check ID for a college student buying Robitussin?


Haven't you heard of people trying to get drunk off cough syrup?







They try it because it's available to underage people, though I suppose a pharmacist would look at them funny if they tried to buy more than one bottle. Anyway, it isn't illegal as an ingredient in an otc medicinal product. It is possibly illegal as an ingredient in a homemade medicinal concoction. But no one enforces the not giving alcohol to minors at home unless someone complains about it or the minor leaves the premises obviously drunk and it is noticed.


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## rightkindofme

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *4evermom*
> 
> Haven't you heard of people trying to get drunk off cough syrup?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> They try it because it's available to underage people, though I suppose a pharmacist would look at them funny if they tried to buy more than one bottle. Anyway, it isn't illegal as an ingredient in an otc medicinal product. It is possibly illegal as an ingredient in a homemade medicinal concoction. But no one enforces the not giving alcohol to minors at home unless someone complains about it or the minor leaves the premises obviously drunk and it is noticed.


Folks drink Robitussum for the dextromethorphine. It is possible I am spelling that wrong but I'm on an iPad.


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## Dacks

People drinking cough syrup for kicks is the reason you can't get really effective *knock me out please i feel awful* cough syrup anymore. Which is funny, because it means now I have to suffer until it is bad enough that the coughing causes me to throw up and not sleep, and then I get a script for the really really good cough syrup with the narcotics in it.

I like that some places allow parents to teach their kids how to drink responsibly in moderation, rather than starting out as party bingers. I'm sure it doesn't always work out that way, but it is a nice idea.


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## prothyraia

There's also communion in the Catholic church as an issue.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *ollyoxenfree*
> 
> Curious - if it's illegal to give ANY alcohol to someone under 21, does that include OTC cough syrups that contain alcohol? How many pharmacists check ID for a college student buying Robitussin?


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## Marissamom

I've always been told that in my state that it's legal for minors to have alcohol served in their own home, by their parents, and served by clergy as part of communion.


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## Marsupialmom

Depends on your state. In MO, it is legal to serve but becomes illegal if they get intoxicated.


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## 2xy

It's illegal in RI to give alcohol to anyone under the age of 21, unless it's part of the curriculum at a culinary school. Yes, the law specifies that.

This is a blue state, so Big Brother is all up in our business. Lots of laws mean lots of fines and tickets, which means more money for the state house to squander and abuse.


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## crunchy_mommy

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *2xy*
> 
> It's illegal in RI to give alcohol to anyone under the age of 21, unless it's part of the curriculum at a culinary school. Yes, the law specifies that.
> 
> This is a blue state, so Big Brother is all up in our business. Lots of laws mean lots of fines and tickets, which means more money for the state house to squander and abuse.


So if you homeschool & include 'culinary lessons' in your curriculum, would you be safe?









Funny, I expected totally different answers to this question for some reason...


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## 4evermom

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *prothyraia*
> 
> There's also communion in the Catholic church as an issue.


Oh but it's no longer alcohol at that point. It's been transubstantiated into blood.


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## crunchy_mommy

According to the above link, my state is not legal even for religious reasons, but some kids still take the wine at my church and every other one I've been to around here. I don't see how it would be constitutional for a state to make a law against that...


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## sewchris2642

In CA it's legal to give alcohol to minor children at home as long as it's only the family--no guests or party. Minors can't drink at extended family's homes. Our family rules are that they can have one glass of wine or one 12 oz. bottle of beer at home with the understanding that they can't go out afterwards if their friends call. Nor can they drink if they have friends over. And they have to be around age 16 (arbitrary age--we think that 13 is too young even if they are still a teen).


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## meemee

i am in CA and i have volunteered with AA for family support group. and it was there that i was told - no nada. absolutely not. even in ur own home to ur own children. i guess that's AA language for you. they were so insistent that i believed it. and never ever questioned it.


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## AllyRae

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *crowcaw*
> 
> Didn't research to make sure it's accurate but:
> 
> http://drinkingage.procon.org/view.resource.php?resourceID=002591


Wow, according to this, my state (Ohio) is really lax--apparently you can give minors alcohol at home, in church, and in restaurants if those minors are your own children. My poor deprived children...we never let them order from the drink menu...


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## hildare

that is a cool link. towards the bottom it actually links to the laws referenced, state by state...


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## journeymom

How much alcohol is in that communion wine anyway? Every year during flu season the minister at our church addresses this myth that germs don't get passed from person to person in the communion cup because the alcohol kills it off. He says don't kid yourself!







Ew. There isn't enough alcohol in the wine to effectively keep germs from being passed.


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## rightkindofme

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *journeymom*
> 
> How much alcohol is in that communion wine anyway? Every year during flu season the minister at our church addresses this myth that germs don't get passed from person to person in the communion cup because the alcohol kills it off. He says don't kid yourself!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Ew. There isn't enough alcohol in the wine to effectively keep germs from being passed.


Definitely not enough.







*hic*

Oh man, off topic but funny. Today I walked to the market to buy diapers (I'm only using disposables because I'm on a month long out of country trek. Don't revoke my crunchy card) and a couple of things of baby food so my 10 month old doesn't have to burn her mouth on the Indian food I like







... and a bunch of cider. They don't sell this kind in the States and it is soooooooooooo good. The checker looked down and then back up at me. I said, "I swear I won't share it with the baby." She laughed.


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## 2xy

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *crunchy_mommy*
> 
> So if you homeschool & include 'culinary lessons' in your curriculum, would you be safe?


Somehow, I doubt it. RI is not a homeschool-friendly state even without alcohol included.


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## Birdie B.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *2xy*
> 
> It's illegal in RI to give alcohol to anyone under the age of 21, unless it's part of the curriculum at a culinary school. Yes, the law specifies that.
> 
> This is a blue state, so Big Brother is all up in our business. Lots of laws mean lots of fines and tickets, which means more money for the state house to squander and abuse.


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## mtiger

Definitely allowed in NJ.


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## 2xy

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Birdie B.*












>
>
>
>


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## Mom2M

I never thought about it and have allowed my older boys to have wine if they want it but I should have known that PA is a "no exception" state since they have the govt. monopoly on liquor sales here too. It's ridiculous!
I know that people who have a party with any alcohol given to minors are put right in jail but I doubt they'll come banging down the door for wine with dinner for my own kids.


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## sosurreal09

In my state it is kept/sold separately and locked up so you have to show an ID in order to get it...

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *ollyoxenfree*
> 
> Curious - if it's illegal to give ANY alcohol to someone under 21, does that include OTC cough syrups that contain alcohol? How many pharmacists check ID for a college student buying Robitussin?


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## Kayla Smith

it depends on the state u are in. in michigan its ilegal but in indiana it is legal for your parents to buy and allow their minor childern to drink in their supervision that inculdes even being outside the home. but each state is different


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## pranava

Really!? I live in Indiana and never heard that was legal!


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## pranava

"Many of the states that have chosen to specifically prohibit alcohol consumption by those under age 21 have a variety of exceptions. For example,



> Some States allow an exception for consumption when a family member consents and/or is present. States vary widely in terms of which relatives may consent or must be present for this exception to apply and in what circumstances the exception applies. Sometimes a reference is made simply to "family" or "family member" without further elaboration."


A map mid page shows states that do and don't have exceptions http://www2.potsdam.edu/hansondj/LegalDrinkingAge.html


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## alicewyf

Glad we live in TX and can give alcohol to our kids if we want to. We likely won't do that until they are at least 16. My first experience and my brothers' first experience of being drunk was with our parents. It was a hilarious memory and kind of took the "coolness" and taboo out of underage drinking. My mom was pushing margarita after margarita on me, for goodness' sake! This wasn't a common occurance, but we got drunk with our parents about twice a year as older teenagers. We totally plan to do the same with our children. I never binge drank in college and neither did my brothers.

Also, the anti-Catholic sentiment (disguised as jokes) on this thread is totally uncool.


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## TiredX2

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *2xy*
> 
> It's illegal in RI to give alcohol to anyone under the age of 21, unless it's part of the curriculum at a culinary school. Yes, the law specifies that.
> 
> This is a blue state, so Big Brother is all up in our business. Lots of laws mean lots of fines and tickets, which means more money for the state house to squander and abuse.


I don't think it has anything to do with it being a "Blue State." According to this site: http://drinkingage.procon.org/view.resource.php?resourceID=002591 there are 10 states where underage alcohol is prohibited with *no exceptions*:

Alabama

Arkansas

Florida

Idaho

Indiana

Kentucky

Missouri

New Hampshire

Pennysylvania

West Virginia

Washington, D.C.

Colors based on http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_states_and_blue_states


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## TiredX2

As you can tell, there are not only different laws in each state, but a lot of confusion about them.

Here are two easy places to check out your state laws:

http://www.alcoholpolicy.niaaa.nih.gov/state_profiles_of_underage_drinking_laws.html

http://drinkingage.procon.org/view.resource.php?resourceID=002591


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## journeymom

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *TiredX2*
> 
> As you can tell, there are not only different laws in each state, but a lot of confusion about them.
> 
> Here are two easy places to check out your state laws:
> 
> http://www.alcoholpolicy.niaaa.nih.gov/state_profiles_of_underage_drinking_laws.html
> 
> http://drinkingage.procon.org/view.resource.php?resourceID=002591


Thanks, these are interesting!

I'm in California. According to the first link underage drinking is allowed if it's at a private location, or a parent or guardian or spouse is present. So, yeah, I can give my teen a glass of wine if I want to.

But the second link seems be saying it's only allowed for medical need, to report another underage drinker. So, no, I can't let my teen have any alcohol in my own home.








I choose the first one! I'd rather believe I can let my child drink something at home with me.


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## JollyGG

Might not hurt to check your state statutes about once a year as they can change. Ten years ago, when I was a teen, in my state you could serve alcohol to your own children in public or private. I remember going to the bars with my parents when we would visit, and remember drinking at weddings and parties in this state as an older teen in my parents presence. I just checked our laws and now the only exception is in a religious ceremony. It changed some time after I turned 21, but I have no clue when.


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## VocalMinority

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *prothyraia*
> 
> There's also communion in the Catholic church as an issue.


Quote:


> Originally Posted by *crunchy_mommy*
> 
> According to the above link, my state is not legal even for religious reasons, but some kids still take the wine at my church and every other one I've been to around here. I don't see how it would be constitutional for a state to make a law against that...


I live in Indiana, where one PP said it's legal to give your own kids alcohol under your supervision even outside the home and a different PP said it's absolutely illegal for minors to drink alcohol under any circumstances. Regardless, every Wednesday morning like clockwork, everyone at our kids' Catholic schools - 1st grade through 12th - lines up and has a sip of wine, then returns to class shortly afterward!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *journeymom*
> 
> How much alcohol is in that communion wine anyway? Every year during flu season the minister at our church addresses this myth that germs don't get passed from person to person in the communion cup because the alcohol kills it off. He says don't kid yourself!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Ew. There isn't enough alcohol in the wine to effectively keep germs from being passed.


Our priest is sensible enough to ask people with a cough, etc., to abstain from the wine.


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## mtiger

Anecdotally... I've never gotten sick from taking Communion from a common chalice. As my grandmother used to tell me (she was a GP, by the way)... it's all a matter of faith, and with God - all is possible.


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## EmilyZ25

i believe that it is legal within your own home and if they are your kids. but you cannot leave the home. if they have any alcohol in their system outside the home, technically that is illegal.


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## 4evermom

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *EmilyZ25*
> 
> i believe that it is legal within your own home and if they are your kids. but you cannot leave the home. if they have any alcohol in their system outside the home, technically that is illegal.


It depends where you live. In some US states, that's legal. In others, it's illegal even at home with parental consent. Someone upthread posted a link so you can check the law for each state.


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## James Russell

Can you document that? I just came to this site from a google search and the link to the IC code above in one of the above posts states that Indiana isa no exceptions state (not even communion, etc).

http://drinkingage.procon.org/view.resource.php?resourceID=002591#chart2


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## James Russell

Different wines have different alcohol contents. I have tasted some pretty strong ones at most catholic churches. If your drinking grape juice, well, ur out of luck  There is one other "common chalice factor" that I learned. Some precious metals that are used to plate (or made entirely of) the chalice (silver and gold, for instance) DO kill viruses and bacteria.


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## James Russell

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *James Russell*
> 
> Different wines have different alcohol contents. I have tasted some pretty strong ones at most catholic churches. If your drinking grape juice, well, ur out of luck  There is one other "common chalice factor" that I learned. Some precious metals that are used to plate (or made entirely of) the chalice (silver and gold, for instance) DO kill viruses and bacteria.


My answer that I learned from a good friend is... Don't sit at the back of the church to get the last swills


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## sillygrl

I remember when I lived in Texas and was still underage. My boyfriend at the time would tell the people checking ID's that we were married and I was able to drink since he was considered my "guardian" lol. That was about ten years ago.

I really feel I should have the right to serve my own children a glass of wine if I wish. As a teen, my parents would allow that on special occasions. I think the line needs to be drawn for parents who allow their children to abuse alcohol but there's nothing harmful in moderation, and that's a lesson I really would like my children to learn before they go out to binge parties that all teens experience!


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## Subhuti

Gee, I hope it's legal because I think letting older kids drink a little with family is a much better scenario than their first experiences being out and unsupervised. And I personally think alcohol is a net negative in our culture. But it is such an integral part of life, gotta face it.


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