# reasons not to spank



## cottonwood (Nov 20, 2001)

I usually stay far away from this forum and any threads having anything to do with spanking, because it is too painful to be constantly confronted with the fact that people still do this to their children. But long ago (when I found out a family member was spanking) I spent some time compiling a file of reasons not to spank. Here it is.

_Mod note: Text removed for copyright violations. See my post on this thread and please contact me if you would like to edit and repost.
Pamela_


----------



## seven_lux (Jun 13, 2003)

Thanks for that, it was all so very true.

I was especially disturbed by the "If you spank your wife read this", because you just know how many people out there believe that doing that to kids is GREAT and FINE...hopefully seeing it like would make them think. Probably not though, because all these things can be so easily rationalized in ones mind who is given to that behaviour anyway..

It's so damn wrong.
Doesn't it just break your heart.


----------



## angelrose (Jan 1, 2003)

I agree with you... it is heartwrenching that so many still "spank" their children...and that they think it is ok...it makes me sad too.

Kellina~


----------



## moss (Feb 7, 2004)

i'm bumping this up.

i just read on another thread that there are some mdc regular's who spank their kids.

i hope that they see this and read it and take it to heart.


----------



## pugmadmama (Dec 11, 2003)

Wow, those hipmama archieves brought back a lot of memories. Thank you for sharing that.

If it's possible, I believe more strongly today than I did when I wrote those words that violence towards children is unacceptable. As my son approaches his teen years, this bond of trust and respect, based on non-violence, becomes even more important.


----------



## Evergreen (Nov 6, 2002)

Gotta print that out! It has so much powerful information!

I am still refusing to beleive that any MDCer hits their kids (sometimes ignorance is bliss)


----------



## Artisan (Aug 24, 2002)

Thank you for this. I was spanked as a child, and reading this reiterates why I don't want to do that to my children.


----------



## Boadicea (Mar 28, 2004)

Boy, am I trying to be a gentle mama ... and that bit about humiliation just making me go behind my parent's backs is exactly why. When did it become okay to humiliate ANYONE in such a manner?

I will admit to sometimes spanking my child in the past. And I'll also admit to sitting down and crying my heart out afterwards, feeling so guilty and angry with myself, wanting to just throw in the towel on motherhood. I'm still on my journey, though, and learning more about myself, my children, the kind of parent I want to be, and the kind of relationship I want to have with those children!

Thanks so much for the affirmation.


----------



## liam's mom (Jun 18, 2003)

What a great list. I am currently reading "The Case About Spanking," as well; I was spanked as a child and am committed to never laying a hand on my son.

Thank you for the reminders of why spanking is never, ever ok.


----------



## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

Thank you for your post.

By the way, I hope it's okay that I cut and pasted parts of it to another board.


----------



## Eustacia (May 11, 2004)

What I think is interesting about spanking is that everyone I know who was spanked as a child remembers it clearly (whether they are now age 38 or age 68 - they clearly remember the spanking they got). Even if they were only spanked once as a child they remember it well.









I should thank my parents everyday for not spanking us (4 kids). With the daily grind of four kids, jobs, pets, etc. they never once put a hand to us.


----------



## Viola (Feb 1, 2002)

Quote:

"When I was about 20 years old, I met an old pastor's wife who told me that when she was young and had her first child, she didn't believe in striking children, although spanking kids with a switch pulled from a tree was standard punishment at the time. But one day when her son was four or five, he did something that she felt warranted a spanking - the first of his life. And she told him that he would have to go outside and find a switch for her to hit him with. The boy was gone a long time. And when he came back in, he was crying. He said to her, "Mama, I couldn't find a switch, but here's a rock that you can throw at me."

All of a sudden the mother understood how the situation felt from the child's point of view: that if my mother wants to hurt me, then it makes no difference what she does it with; she might as well do it with a stone. And the mother took the boy onto her lap and they both cried. Then she laid the rock on a shelf in the kitchen to remind herself forever: never violence."
--Astrid Lingren
Man, that one has me bawling


----------



## Pam_and_Abigail (Dec 2, 2002)

Wow what a strong message.


----------



## bwylde (Feb 19, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Amywillo*
Man, that one has me bawling









Me too







. That will be a hard image to remove from my mind.


----------



## Greaseball (Feb 1, 2002)

:


----------



## Nemmer (Sep 30, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Amywillo*
Man, that one has me bawling









Me too.


----------



## Greaseball (Feb 1, 2002)

Have you all seen the "Whipping Babies" thread in Activism? There really are people at MDC who support spanking. I was surprised; to me it sounds like the most un-AP, un-natural thing ever, not to mention wrong for a hundred other reasons as well.


----------



## steff (Apr 7, 2004)

WOW!! I think anyone that spanks, will stop if they read that!!

Steff


----------



## pamelamama (Dec 12, 2002)

I'm so sorry mamas, but becasue of our copyright guidelines I have to remove the OP.

Quote:

*Copyright Responsibility* Part of our responsibility in administrating and moderating the MotheringDotCommune Forums is to assure that the posts made to our boards by our members do not violate copyright law.

Please refrain from posting:
Private emails
Messages from other discussion boards
Articles without permission to reproduce

You may post:
A link directing readers to a discussion or article
100 words or less from an article as long as those 100 words are not a substantial part of the piece. If you are quoting from a short work such as a poem or a short article then 100 words may not be an acceptable fair use allowance. You should restrict yourself to a minimal quote from the piece. Anything more requires permission to print/reproduce in writing from the copyright holder and placed within your post.

Any posts that do not adhere to these guidelines will be deleted by the moderator or administrator.

We appreciate your understanding and cooperation in this matter which is one of great concern to Mothering.
Perhaps the original poster will be able to link us to some of the information.

Yours,
Pamela


----------



## Parker'smommy (Sep 12, 2002)

Wow, great post!!! I too have been saddened to hear of mamas here that are advocates of spanking. I have and never will spank my children. My hands are for loving, not violence.

And let me clarify something. Losing your patience temporarily and spanking your child and regretting it deeply and advocating spanking are two different things. We are all human, we make mistakes. Like Maya Angelou said, "When you know better, you do better" Its been my motto for a long time now.


----------



## UrbanPlanter (Nov 14, 2003)

Gosh darnit!! I saw this thread last night and bookmarked it so I could come back and read it today, and the OP's post was wiped out!!! Please, please OP, please post a link to whatever it was you had copied in your post. I really, really wanted to read it!!!


----------

