# 3 yo obsessed with genitals - normal?



## because (Sep 11, 2003)

Is it normal for a 3 yo to be really, really curious about genitals? Like telling Grandma "I have a vulva and so does Mama, and you, too." To insist on watching every diaper change her newborn brother gets and asking several times during each change if I'm going to touch his penis (to which I answer "Yes, to help him get clean just like I help you. That's what Mommys and Daddys do." If we see a character, like Mickey Mouse, she asks "What does he have?" and insists on getting an answer about genitals.

We've always used proper names and been open about it all. She is very interested in the concept that her parts are hers and they are private - she often insists on washing by herself because of that (although she doesn't mind if we help her wipe after pooping...). We have mentioned that private parts are private and that only Mommy and Daddy or maybe Grandma should help with them.

This started before the brother was born.

There is no chance that any type of abuse has occurred.

It hasn't totally embarassed me in public yet but I know the time is coming.

So, is it normal? How to respond?


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## captain crunchy (Mar 29, 2005)

I would say it is completely normal, though my daughter is only still a babe. It just seems like I have heard and observed that type of interest in genitals and the like surfacing around this age --- coming from a sociological standpoint, perhaps your daughter somehow *gets* that it is a taboo subject (even if you are open in your home about it) and is feeling out reactions...self awareness occurs between the ages of approximately 18-24 months old so I would imagine that the natural course of things would be first noticing that you are your own person separate from your parents -- naturally extending to, weird, and people have different body parts too... and being facinated about similarities and differences in both genders etc...

I do tend to think it is very normal, but I can't advise on how to respond because I haven't been there! I would just continue to be open and frank about it...as you described.

Congrats on your new baby!!!

ETA: I did date a single dad several years ago who had 2 daughters, 4 and 5. I remember they were OBSESSED with breasts (or *boobies* as they would call them, giggling) Why do you have them, are we gonna get them, what do they do, how big will ours get, why do you wear a bra...on and on... lol
There was no abuse there or anything either.. I think just curiosity and facination.


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## Slabobbin (Jan 29, 2004)

I would say normal. My son did all of the above but he was also obscessed with seeing his baby sister's POOP!


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## GranoLLLy-girl (Mar 1, 2005)

I have to laugh because my 3 yo is obsessed in a similar, yet slightly different way--she is obsessed with the color (yes, you read that right) of everything that comes out of her body. She will stand and look into the toilet and ask what color it is...whatever it is. LOL.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

hmm...is it normal?

Ds1 did this (he's now 12 and doesn't even want his family to _know_ that he has a penis).
My 10-year-old nephew did this.
My 4-year-old nephew did this.
My 2.5-year-old niece does this.
My 2.5-year-old dd does this.

I don't think my 2.5-year-old nephew (they're twins) does it - that makes one out of six who hasn't been obsessed with his genitals, and he still has time. I'd say it's perfectly normal.









DD occasionally gets angry about it, though. She shouted at her brother yesterday, completely out of the blue, "you DO have a penis, Kelly - yes you DO"....just what a nearly 13-year-old boy wants shouted out in front of his mom.


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## wende (Oct 4, 2003)

Yes, totally normal. My 2.5 yo ds had an erection the other day and wouldn't let me put his diaper on because he was too busy messing with it and laughing saying "penis tickles!"


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## nyveronica (Jun 1, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *because*
We've always used proper names and been open about it all.

This is why your adorable sounding daughter is fine with talking about hers and everyone else's genitals! This is a proud parenting moment, not a cause for worry (IMO)

Take her lead. If she's not embarassed and you can handle the forthcoming "public moment" of her announcing to the kids on the playground that she has a vagina; then there is nothing at all wrong. Other people's embarassment shouldn't be your concern.


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## eminer (Jan 21, 2003)

ROFL, I hope so. My dd did that. I think what sparked it was reading about how babies develop sexes and genitalia, when I was pregnant with her sister. She tended to bring it up loudly, in public.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

DS1 and my 10-year-old nephew often come out with comments about "oh, my balls" while they're playing outside, wrestling, etc. DD has started exclaiming, "oh, my vulvas". It's SO hard not to crack up, and I think dh is kind of embarrassed about it, but such is life.

She did, however, inform me yesterday that she does NOT have a vagina...only vulvas.


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## provocativa (Jan 17, 2005)

Lots of vulva talk in this house. And, she saw her friend's penis the other day, commented on it being little, and has been telling papa he has a big penis. It's hysterical.

On a more serious note, I know a neglected 3 year old who injured his penis fairly seriously, via excessive masturbation. His parents are unattentive drug addicts, he's pretty angry, but. . . . look out for redness.


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## Sugarbear's mom (Jan 19, 2006)

I am begining to think so my ds is doing the same thing only using daddy and penis.only difference is he will tell anyone who will listen. We have been telling him it is not nice to talk to strangers about our private parts. it helped at first but now he says it's ok they are my new friend.


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