# Any Young Mamas Out There???



## happyhippie (Apr 1, 2011)

Hi ya'll. I am sure there has to be more young moms on this site. I actually was recommended this site by a friend, since I was always complaining that no one was "like" me. Ha. I am 24, and just had my first baby last year. I have tried connecting with other young moms at church but I am not very churchy or conservative, so often times, my style of parenting is quite different.

I also belong to a local mother's group and I kid you not, most of the others are in their late 30's or early 40's. It is exhausting trying to fit in!


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## NewBeginnings1 (Dec 8, 2010)

I'm 25 and I'm always gently defending my parenting styles of my 7mo DS to people who are satisfied with mainstream. I like that age seems irrelevant here!


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## happyhippie (Apr 1, 2011)

Hi, yes! That is what I feel too, defensive. And sometimes people who are older then me, throw me for a loop. Sometimes I start questioning myself. Wondering if I am making "unexperienced" decisions.

Glad to know that age doesn't come into play here. Thanks for the response.


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## oldcrunchymom (Jun 26, 2002)

I had my first just after I turned 23. All the moms in my moms group back then were 10-20 years older than me, LOL. Now my kids are teenagers and it's weird to think I'm the same age those moms were back then! Gettin' old.


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## KABB (Nov 12, 2009)

I had my first daughter two months shy of my 15th birthday. She'll be 14 this month and I will be 29 in June. I have three others at home, ages (almost) 9, 3, and 2. Annnd we Baby Valentine is due October 28th.


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## Laur318 (Nov 25, 2008)

I had my DS right after my 21st bday. He's turning 2 this week, and I feel OLD at 23! I've adored motherhood much more than my friends enjoyed college campus life







and that's all I have missed. I gained so much being a young mother! And of having an "only child" young, i am able to spend time growing and learning with him.I see myself having twins in my late 30s though


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## rachieface (Mar 26, 2010)

There's definitely a good amount of young mamas on here! I'm 22, and my son is 11 months old (today!). My husband is a couple of years older than me, and we're wayyyyyy young compared to most parents in our area. However, I am so grateful to have a number of mama friends of varying ages. I appreciate the things I have in common with young moms, and the wisdom/life experience of women who waited a little bit longer to have their babes!


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## happyhippie (Apr 1, 2011)

This is great! So happy to see other youngies out there. However, I wonder how many would consider ourselves "old souls". I know I am an old soul.

Wow, Jamie, congrats on becoming a mommy so young and making it to 14! That is awesome!


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## SithLadyFred (Mar 17, 2011)

Yaaaay young mamas! I'm 23 and I feel super young at times to be doing this, but I told myself that I wanted to have kids while young. We're trying for #1 but I hope I'll be a mama soon just like you guys!


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## KABB (Nov 12, 2009)

Thank you!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *happyhippie*
> 
> This is great! So happy to see other youngies out there. However, I wonder how many would consider ourselves "old souls". I know I am an old soul.
> 
> Wow, Jamie, congrats on becoming a mommy so young and making it to 14! That is awesome!


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## happyhippie (Apr 1, 2011)

Best of luck TTC SithLadyFred!


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## zenmumajen (Dec 3, 2010)

Hi! Yay a young mama's tribe! =)

I was barely 22 when I had my son last summer! I avoid LLL meetings and mom's groups because I am scared that they are all going to be older and long down upon me. Everyone has told me that I look younger than my 19 year old sister and I have been mistaken as a teen mom. I wish that people (especially fellow mamas) didn't place such harsh stereotypes on people!


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## Graceie (Nov 7, 2010)

23 ds 1 is 10 months pregnant with another and yes I run into a lot of older moms in my moms groups and a few closer in age


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## happyhippie (Apr 1, 2011)

Hi guys!

Zenmumajen, that stinks! I really went through this too, but honestly, I needed community so bad and not one of my friends have had a baby. My main mama friends are all ten years older then me! I am always taken aback when they ask me for advice. I have also come to realize that being a first time mama is new to you at any age. Sometimes it is hard, especially since most of the older moms are "settled" and we are in a tiny shack of an apartment, with no plans to settle any time soon.

You know, at times, I look at my little one, and I am so thankful I didn't wait a day longer to become her mama. It is truly a blessing.


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## mareseatoats (Mar 4, 2011)

I was 19 & single when I had my daughter. I'm 23 now and we have a little boy due at the end of August







. I had a really hard time finding other mothers I connected with, not only being young and unpartnered, but because I had DD at a water birthing center and did cloth diapers and attachment parenting. I actually volunteered at an alternative high school for a while to teach the moms about breastfeeding and baby wearing. None of them breastfed, but a few of them did start wearing their babies, which was neat.

Now at 23 I still have a hard time finding other younger parents that have some of the same ideals as we do. I've found that, for me, age matters less than parenting style. Finding both would be very neat, indeed.


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## zenmumajen (Dec 3, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *happyhippie*
> 
> Hi guys!
> 
> ...


I agree- I need community! I really need to start going to these LLL meetings because I am training to be a doula and I need to involve myself in my birth community. I am just scared they are going to ask me- well what do you know? I have some self-confidence issues I need to work through...

We don't own a home either which is frustrating but at least we are not tied down to a home! That how I have to look at it sometimes...

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *mareseatoats*
> 
> I was 19 & single when I had my daughter. I'm 23 now and we have a little boy due at the end of August
> 
> ...


Congratulations! I can only imagine how hard it was to be a single mama and finding other like-minded single mamas! That is SO SO SO awesome that you volunteered at a alternative high school to teach about bf/bwing! I would love to work with teen parents like that!


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## happyhippie (Apr 1, 2011)

Agree, huge congrats Mareseatoats! If only I was so enlightened in my teens. I did most of my changing and thoughts on motherhood in the last two years.

zenmumujen, congrats on becoming a doula. There is always new doulas and lactation consultant, etc. at the local LLL.







Sending you lots of confidence and good vibes.

On a different note, I was a Women's and Gender Studies Major and I like your sig. Rock on mama!


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## zenmumajen (Dec 3, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *happyhippie*
> 
> zenmumujen, congrats on becoming a doula. There is always new doulas and lactation consultant, etc. at the local LLL.
> 
> ...


Thanks for the good vibes! That is very cool that you were a women's and gender studies major!!! I was a psychology/family studies major and I loved the few classes I had that touched on gender!! Good stuff! =)


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## WifeofAnt (May 2, 2010)

Hi! I think I'm currently the youngest of the group.







I'm 21 and have a 4 month old son. I get nearly zero meaningful real life mommy to mommy time (of course I have zunmumajen now!). My parents (I'm living with them while my husband is deployed... what a way to be mistaken for a single mom!) want me to go out and join some random mommy or military wife group. HECK NO! I can't even see eye to eye with my inlaws and I'm related to them. I don't need *more* people telling me to "let him scream" or not hold him so much. Everyone else my age having kids are having 'oops' babies. They're doing the parenting thing because they have to, not because they want to, and it really shows. Speaking of... I'm waiting for my mom's friend's daughter to have her baby. She's 16 and 38 weeks. I hope I can get to her before everyone else does. She's still not sure if she wants to breastfeed but I'm going to spend some time over there after the baby is born to help her out.

(MDC is being weird on my computer, not showing the little cursor thing in the text)

I've invested so much in this girl... She requested cloth diapers at her baby shower and ended up with 4 packs of size 1, one pack of size 2, and one pack of size 5 disposables! I was the nice little friend and bought her 8 BumGenius and 6 size small FuzziBunz. I hope she was able to get some more.

My dad made some comment on how I shouldn't be getting her gifts because she was so young and wasn't married (wtf?!). I don't care that she's young or unmarried. She's having a baby and the baby deserves to have as normal a childhood as possible. People can be so callous to young moms...

Which reminds me, I was asked if my son was my brother the other day!!


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## Graceie (Nov 7, 2010)

Wife is there a AP group in your area ? or LLL ?? I love my LLL group even though Im the yougest there and single


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## mamapigeon (Dec 16, 2010)

I'm 22 and about to have my first!


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## esg (Aug 31, 2010)

My son is 2 months old and I turned 25 a little more than a week after I had him.

I'm just getting into mom groups but have found that some of them either don't share my parenting views or I'm the younger one in the group.

Speaking of LLL, I went to my first meeting yesterday and loved it. I think I might be in the middle of the age group but the way we parent is very similar so its fun. I was expecting to be the youngest there too.


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## zenmumajen (Dec 3, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *WifeofAnt*
> 
> Hi! I think I'm currently the youngest of the group.
> 
> ...


Yay! I am so excited and glad we met!









As for your friend that is pregnant- it sounds like you are being an awesome support system for her which is probably really needed! Try not to get so invested that if she doesn't end up breastfeeding/cloth diapering that you get upset. I mean- of course you are going to be disappointed. I wish all my friends would parent the same way as me but at the end of the day I know I am doing what works for me and they are doing what works for them. On the same note- I am in a similar position except my friend is not pregnant yet but she is trying. I feel like sometimes when I am explaining how I parent (she is so curious and asks so many questions) that I am selling natural parenting (which makes me feel kind of icky). I justify it though that if it weren't for Mothering I may have not been exposed to these ways of parenting so I am just exposing these topics to her and why it works for us and if she so chooses to follow down this path then great! I hope that you will be able to make a difference!

Unfortunately- I can believe someone asked you if James was your brother! I hear about this happening all the time with young moms! Or "are you the babysitter/nanny"? I don't even know what I would do if someone asked me that!


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## happyhippie (Apr 1, 2011)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *zenmumajen*
> 
> Unfortunately- I can believe someone asked you if James was your brother! I hear about this happening all the time with young moms! Or "are you the babysitter/nanny"? I don't even know what I would do if someone asked me that!


OMG, I would be so sad if someone asked me that! But I wear dd so much, they must think she is my daughter.

Um, I don't think selling natural parenting is a bad thing. I feel like so many parents aren't even aware of other options out there. I definitely don't think everyone has heard of attachment parenting, so you are just spreading the love and doing your part.

WifeofAnt, congrats on the new baby. I am a part of a group of mommy's that are completely different from me in every way. It is just one of the outings I do during the week so I don't go bonkers. Besides, I always hope I can show someone how cool it is to breastfeed in public or sling their baby. I love seeing change transpire and maybe you could do the same


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## zenmumajen (Dec 3, 2010)

Well I wasn't saying that "selling it" is a bad thing but it is a personal thing. Also it really depends on how you define "selling", in particular, a parenting style. When I think of the word "sell" I automatically think of pressure.

I have had people try to sell me or pressure me on formula feeding and how it is better, which really upset me. I don't want anyone to feel pressured to do anything and this is what I meant by that. It makes me feel icky because I don't want to come off to my friend that if she does not do it my way she isn't as good as me. I hope you understand and hopefully I didn't step on anyone's toes...


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## love4bob (Apr 30, 2008)

I suppose I am! I am right around where you all are! I'm 23, and pregnant with #4! I had my first at 18, second at 20, third at 21, and fourth I'll still be 23. I didn't know many other moms until we moved here. DH is in the Army, so there are a lot of other young Army wives/moms here. Very few of my old friends from high school can relate to me at all, so most of us drifted apart.

I'm currently in college studying B.A. in Social Science Education (going to be a high school history teacher hopefully). I should graduate December 2012.

My husband is also currently deployed, and he will be home in June!







(baby 4 is an R&R baby) We have been married for 5 years in July.

ETA: I CONSTANTLY get asked if I am the babysitter or sister. People also always say "Are they all yours?" or say "You have your hands full, don't you!" Well duh. lol.


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## ExpectantMama19 (Apr 11, 2011)

Well, it looks like I'm now the youngest of this age group! I'm 19 and my fiance and I are expecting our first little







sometime in November. I'm 10w and I'm just starting to get a little bump on my belly from our little "Peanut." I can't wait for people to start asking me when I'm due and if the baby is a boy or girl, but right now, all I hear is, "You're putting on a little weight." or "Don't you think you should start cutting back on what you're eating and exercising more? You don't want to become a fat slob." This really aggravates me and hurts my feelings. I've always been a bigger girl, and people haven't really said much about my weight in the last couple of years (since I graduated high school) and I was starting to gain self confidence and feeling good about myself. I'm overjoyed at being a mama and can't wait to hold my little one in my arms the first time, but those remarks really upset me. Have any of you younger mama's experienced anything like this? My nephew will be 2 in June, and when I take him out, I'm always being mistaken for his mom, and I can tell that people automatically assume that I'm a single, teen mom and they turn their noses up and look away. This used to bother me, but now, I simply don't care what other people think about me. I know what's what and I'm very happy with the way my life is right now!


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## zenmumajen (Dec 3, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *love4bob*
> 
> ETA: I CONSTANTLY get asked if I am the babysitter or sister. People also always say "Are they all yours?" or say "You have your hands full, don't you!" Well duh. lol.


Why why why isn't really anybody's business if they are yours or not!? Ughh...









I love all of your children's names by the way!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *ExpectantMama19*
> 
> Well, it looks like I'm now the youngest of this age group! I'm 19 and my fiance and I are expecting our first little
> 
> ...


Congratulations! Hopefully you don't have terrible morning sickness! It is perfectly normal to gain wait during pregnancy and you can only control what you gain to a certain extent. Eat a well-rounded diet and if you are feeling up to it and have the time -exercise! I hardly ever went to the gym while pregnant- although I should have went more because it does help you in labor! Try to find time to walk- as you get further into pregnancy it will become harder but you shouldn't feel bad if you aren't feeling up to it. I can't believe somebody said you don't want to become a "fat slob"....pregnancy is beautiful and actually my body self-confidence boosted then. I knew my body was going to call the shots when it came down to weight gain! Don't worry about what others say!


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## love4bob (Apr 30, 2008)

Mainly it's from old people. I look really young too, so they are probably curious. lol. Old people love kids! And thank you about the names. I love them too! lol.









Quote:


> Originally Posted by *zenmumajen*
> Why why why isn't really anybody's business if they are yours or not!? Ughh...
> 
> 
> ...


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## happyhippie (Apr 1, 2011)

Congrats on the baby expectantmama!

love4bob: I heard it said on a different thread before that when someone says "Oh you have your hands full" you can respond "better full then empty"









Because it is so true. Congrats on being a mama to 4 already. Amazing!


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## WifeofAnt (May 2, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Graceie*
> 
> Wife is there a AP group in your area ? or LLL ?? I love my LLL group even though Im the yougest there and single


I still have to find the LLL (they only meet publicly once a month) but the only AP group I can find isn't even active.

And of course I come back here immediately after hearing she doesn't want to breastfeed anymore (its 'too hard' but she hasn't even had the baby yet)! Whatever. If she doesn't want my help to even try at least she's on WIC so she'll have something to feed the baby. I'll just have to figure out how to not take it personally that she's been leading me on since we met.


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## Graceie (Nov 7, 2010)

> And of course I come back here immediately after hearing she doesn't want to breastfeed anymore (its 'too hard' but she hasn't even had the baby yet)! Whatever. If she doesn't want my help to even try at least she's on WIC so she'll have something to feed the baby. I'll just have to figure out how to not take it personally that she's been leading me on since we met.


YES !!!! I feel your frustration ! I had one Friend like that it was really hard I have a pet peeve about someone saying one thing to make me happy and making another plan somewhere else . but then I learned and remembered that women are so taulht not to rock the boat and to people please and may of us are not has assertive has we could be . I know it taken me along time to be conformable with my decisions to the point I can speak up and brush off those who dont agree .


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## WildDoula (Nov 3, 2010)

Hey ladies! This is just what i've been looking for.









Hopefully no one minds, as we are TTC #1, not really a mama yet. I am 18, and my husband is 21.

To jump in on the conversation, I definitely understand the frustration with our age group. I offered to doula for my friend who is about to have her first, and she had no idea what I was talking about, or why she would need that. Breastfeeding is a hard topic for me as well, since I believe so strongly in it, and since so few people I know actually commit to it.


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## greencarnation (Oct 1, 2010)

I am 23 and 22 weeks with our first!


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## WifeofAnt (May 2, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Graceie*
> 
> YES !!!! I feel your frustration ! I had one Friend like that it was really hard I have a pet peeve about someone saying one thing to make me happy and making another plan somewhere else . but then I learned and remembered that women are so taulht not to rock the boat and to people please and may of us are not has assertive has we could be . I know it taken me along time to be conformable with my decisions to the point I can speak up and brush off those who dont agree .


Oh I just figured out WHY she wants to bottle feed. She wants to send the baby away with her father (who could only be *less* in the picture if he weren't the father at all) so she doesn't have to take care of her. Right now she's in the hospital with her epidural sleeping. Way to go, two parents (and four grandparents) who appear that they couldn't care less. If you can't be bothered to be inconvenienced in the slightest, why even keep the baby? I know at least a handful of people who would jump at the chance to adopt her.


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## Momma Moo Martin (May 24, 2009)

Hello fellow Mommas! I just found this thread and I wanted to say hello. I turned 22 the day after my daughter was born so I think I fit right in with the rest of you. I'm so glad to hear of lots of younger mothers who are showing that being younger doesn't mean that you can't be an awesome mother. <3


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## Danielle0407 (Jan 17, 2007)

Saying hi quick too. I don't feel like a young mama any more but I guess I still am. I had my DD when I was 17, and my DS when I was 20. I'm 24 now, DD is 7 and DS will be 4 in september.


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## Amatullah0 (Apr 7, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *zenmumajen*
> 
> Hi! Yay a young mama's tribe! =)
> 
> I was barely 22 when I had my son last summer! I avoid LLL meetings and mom's groups because I am scared that they are all going to be older and long down upon me. Everyone has told me that I look younger than my 19 year old sister and I have been mistaken as a teen mom. I wish that people (especially fellow mamas) didn't place such harsh stereotypes on people!


I'm 21, I had DS when I was, what, 19? So I was a teen mom, lol(and I loved it, because being a teen mom is such a taboo in our culture). Now, in my religion, it's totally not unusual for women to get married younger, and have kids, and thats what I did, so although I was, technically, a teen mom, I never felt like it was a taboo except for when I was seeing doctors or midwives that weren't understanding of my religious/cultural background.

Not that I think anything bad of teen moms.... I'm not trying to say that, but it was just a strange experience for me, I never felt any guilt in being a teen mom, and I rarely realized when people were probably stereotyping me. Most of my momma friends are older, but we share a common culture, common aged kids, similar parenting styles, and I knew them from when I was younger.

and







Jen, if you ever want to get together, I'll be back in the states in July, just send me a PM  I've only been to the Livonia LLL meeting once(just looking for some help BFing, didn't have the time to stick around and chat at that time), but we could go tackle it(or some other group) together if you'd like


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## zenmumajen (Dec 3, 2010)

> Originally Posted by *Amatullah0*
> 
> I'm 21, I had DS when I was, what, 19? So I was a teen mom, lol(and I loved it, because being a teen mom is such a taboo in our culture). Now, in my religion, it's totally not unusual for women to get married younger, and have kids, and thats what I did, so although I was, technically, a teen mom, I never felt like it was a taboo except for when I was seeing doctors or midwives that weren't understanding of my religious/cultural background.
> 
> ...


I think it is really unfortunate at how taboo ten moms in our culture. Not ALL teen moms are horrible moms... and I think that they need more support than anybody and if we automatically inflict the stereotype that they are going to be horrible mom's ...well that is just not being supportive at all. I understand what you mean about doctors- my OB was very judgmental about my pregnancy, even my son's pediatrician and my dental hygienist.

That is funny that you loved being a teen mom because it was taboo- give me some of your courage! I am glad though that you have that sense of community with your religion and cultural background.

I would love to visit some groups with you- and get to know a fellow doula!


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## Right of Passage (Jul 25, 2007)

There's lots of young mamas here! I'm 24 and I have 3 little boys ages 5, 3, and 1.


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## mommy212 (Mar 2, 2010)

I was just over 19 when DS was born (I turned 19 oct 3, he was born oct 30) and I am always feeling out of place and sometimes just plain weird! lol


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## cakahy (Apr 18, 2011)

Another young mama here. I'm 25 and pregnant with my third


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## Paigekitten (Feb 22, 2008)

Ooh, I fit right in, I am 24 and expecting my third. : )


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## jimblejamble (May 18, 2007)

WifeofAnt - My husband was deployed when my son was first born too! He was gone from April 2009 to March 2010 and my son was born in September 2009. Hang in there! I know what you mean about people thinking you're a single mom... I got that all the time.

I just turned 23 and my boy will be 2 in September. We're hoping to conceive #2 soon.


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## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

Quote:

Originally Posted by *love4bob* 

I suppose I am! I am right around where you all are! I'm 23, and pregnant with #4! I had my first at 18, second at 20, third at 21, and fourth I'll still be 23.

Quote:



> Originally Posted by *cakahy*
> 
> Another young mama here. I'm 25 and pregnant with my third


Woo hoo! I'm not alone, then!

I'm 25 and have 5 (Yes, all mine. Yes, by the same father. Yes, we're done.). I got pregnant at 17, then again at 19, then 20, and at 23 with twins- which means I gave birth at 18, 20, 21, and only a few weeks into 24.

I have a hard time connecting with older moms, with mainstream moms, with younger moms... I think I may just suck at connecting. LOL But I am always so happy to see other young mums!


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## mamatalks (Jun 9, 2011)

I saw the title of this thread and got excited! Although I'm not as young as I used to be! I just had a birthday and am feeling older these days since I'm now "pushing" 30! But I totally understand what its like being a young mama. I had my 1st our DD when I was 23. We live in a neighborhood where there are lots of nannies so I constantly have people asking me if these are my kids! I feel like being a young mom is great though! We have our whole lives ahead of us! And will still be young when are our kids are grown and gone!


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## seawitch (Jan 29, 2011)

I was 23 when my first was born, 24 when my second was. I look super young - just the other day I was asked if I was starting college this fall - I'm 28 now. Sheesh. In college they asked me if I was in middle school, and in high school they mistook me for an elementary schooler. Huh?? The cops would even confiscate my ID at times back in college because they thought it was fake until they checked it out. I don't get it, I don't think I look young, I'm not short, I don't act immature, my voice isn't high, etc. But I've gotten so many comments about the teen mom thing when I was pregnant and when my kids were babies. Now that they're 3 and 4, often people just think I'm a babysitter... I don't get it, really I don't. It's hard to get respect sometimes. And the funny thing is, I don't even feel judgmental about teen moms, if they're good moms, that's all that matters, but I just am so tired of the stigma attached to them. My son also has ADHD and he's very hyper, so we are always drawing attention to ourselves. I'm always wondering whether they're thinking that I'm just too young to handle my kids.

I was out with a friend and we encountered a woman who asked about schooling our kids, and my friend (who's a couple of years older than me) started talking about homeschooling and I chimed in agreement. The lady seemed horrified and said maybe my friend could handle it, but I certainly couldn't - and then she asked me if I even finished high school, having my kids so young. I told her that actually, I was almost finished with my Master's degree and about to start another, and she just rolled her eyes and walked away, as if I was making that up to be sarcastic to her or something. Whatever...

The only thing I ever regret about having kids so young is not being more financially stable. I wanted to start a family right after I graduated. DH was still in the military and there were a lot of jobs around as well, and I was worried about health issues cropping up later, and a bunch more reasons, la di da, so we decided to jump into having kids. I don't feel I exactly missed out on my 20's (DH definitely feels like that, unfortunately) but we have had major financial struggles. DH was supposed to be the breadwinner but he's been ill and we live off of his disability. If we didn't have kids I would be able to pick up the slack, for sure, by getting a job. As it stands, the only jobs I can get would be ones where I would have to put the kids into daycare, and I'm not willing to do that, not while they're young. So we make do with the teensy bit of money we can get and try to get by


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## sosurreal09 (Nov 20, 2009)

Hey everyone I am 23 and had DD at 21 and working on number 2!


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## Paigekitten (Feb 22, 2008)

I get people asking me if I am the baby sitter all the time. Or if I happen to be out without the girls, people ask me if I am expecting my first baby, and I say "third" and their eyes kind of bug out. I also get the negative attention thing, because my three year old frequently melts down in public and can be very active. We are really struggling financially, and everyone I know seems to have their opinions about how young we are, and how many kids we have. Yeah, we'd have more money if we didn't have kids. The money and things I have are worthless compared to the joy of having my kids.


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## sosurreal09 (Nov 20, 2009)

I am a SAHM and we live off of $16-1700 a month. DH is going to be going to school in Sept but for pre-requs and then a year FT for HVAC. *He* seem to think he will be fine working 40hrs a week and doing school although I have offered to go back to work but then he would have to be a SAHD in school b/c we can't afford daycare and don't have anyone to help. Anyway we live very modestly. We have one car, no cell phones, no convienience type of things YK? Is it hard, yeah at times (mostly b/c our super cheap apartment doesn't have a yard though and we have no park within walking distance).

Now DH decides it's time for baby #2 and I am nervous. He is really excited though and I did pray about it and the answer I got was to do it so I guess I just have to trust DH and trust God. But it is soooooo hard not having a car! BTW there is no public transportation here either.


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## mamaecho (Mar 31, 2011)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *cakahy*
> 
> Another young mama here. I'm 25 and pregnant with my third


Me too!


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## chelsey1987 (Jul 9, 2010)

Hi!
I am 23,my DS is 3 and DD 4 months old!
I can't find any young moms,I started a group for young moms in my area and most of the members are in their 30's


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## ahimsamom (Oct 14, 2010)

Hi everyone!!

I am 23 and have an 8 month old DD. I am Asian and my husband is white, and she turned out very....pale to say the least







.

Everyone always asks if I am the nanny.


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## Liss86 (Nov 2, 2009)

I too get asked if I am the au pair frequently at the playground.

Hi mamas, I just turned 25 last weekend and had my dd almost two months after I turned 23. I felt so young and isolated for a the first year. I am a good 10-20 years younger than almost all of my mommy friends who live around me. It is hard enough becoming a mom for all women bc we categorize ourselves post baby(in my not so humble opinion) tthis is what I think happens:

You have a baby and we go from being a sisterhood of women to:
Women who have babies and women who don't
to
Mom's who stay at home and mom's who go back to work or work part-time or work from home(four way split)
to
Mom's who parent conventionally and those who don't
to
mom's who are married and mom's who aren't
to
mom's who are "right age" (30-35) to those who aren't (everyone else)
etc.

this was my experience where I used to live. I moved last fall and joined the holistic mom's network. I must say I have really found a community and highly recumbend finding a chapter or starting one if you can bc it's wonderful not to be judged. =)

I sometimes feel like I am missing out of the post college move to the city sharing apt.s with your friends and working scene but I then realize how lucky I am to have eeverything I wanted (albeit in a different order than I planned... move in, baby, engaged) just 5-10 years earlier than I planned.

There is always a good time to have a baby and never a good time to get pregnant. (This rang true for me eveen more while we were trying to decide when to try for another baby)

Sorry for any typos.

Good luck to the mama ttc! Hugs

And Go you to all you fantastic mamas! I agree age doesn't matter as long as you do the best for your children.


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## mamaboss (Jul 23, 2008)

Hi ladies! I am 25 and due any day with #2!

DD is almost 4 and DH and I are both PT students trying to get by!


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## SamiPolizzi (May 23, 2009)

I am 22 and have a 2 year old son. I tried for along time to find other young moms on the internet to be friends with. I even found some girls on facebook who I went highschool with who had babies. But I was never able to get close to any other young moms because our parenting styles were so different. I started going to LLL meetings when my son was about 10 months old and the women there have become my best mom friends. I am the youngest one in the group and the only single mom, but they don't treat me any differently. I'm even finding now that I've been in the group for a while, other moms even ask me for advice occasionally. So I guess the point I'm trying to make here is that being like minded seems to be a lot more important than being close in age. Ironically, my first good mom friend I made at LLL had a son who was my son's age and also had a son the same age as me.


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## SamiPolizzi (May 23, 2009)

When ever people are going door to door in my neighborhood, I open the door and they ask if my mom is home and I say "no, I'm the mom here." and then I try not to roll my eyes at the surprised look on their face.


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## seawitch (Jan 29, 2011)

Yeah, that happens to me a lot too. I never get it over the phone but in person? It does.

What's hilarious is that we are temporarily LIVING with my mom, so when they ask if my mom is here, I actually bring her out.... Heh....


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## cynthia mosher (Aug 20, 1999)

Hi everyone!

We have a new feature that allows forum members to create "clubs" of their own that have many of the same benefits of a forum, including multiple threads, a member's list, and group messaging. All tribes are invited to switch from the one-long-thread here in FYT to the new Social Groups. You can read more about it *here. *Let me know if you have any questions but please post to that thread so I can keep everything in one place.


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## mpvelaz (Apr 22, 2007)

I'm 26 and have a 2 y.o and a 4y.o. and we are ready for a 3rd in the near future. everyone thinks I look like I'm 16, so I get the teen mom stare downs all the time or the "are those your kids?" (My husband is hispanic so my kids are darker and don't look a whole lot like me) I also feel like I can't find any like minded momma's my age.


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## Paigekitten (Feb 22, 2008)

Usually not having any friends my age doesn't bother me, but lately it's been really getting me down. I turn 25 next month, and I can't even have a birthday party, 'cause everyone I know doesn't know/remember I'm only 24.


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## Sweetmama26 (Feb 8, 2010)

Can I join, I consider myself a young mama, most people think I'm 10 years younger than I actually am, I'm 27 and my son turns 3 in October, which made me 24 when I had him. I always get looks and stuff being a young single mommy who is AP, CD, Baby-led growth and breastfeeding advocate. It's like people expect you to be young and stupid about such things and it's unnatural if you do AP parenting if you're young lol


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## solemum (Nov 7, 2011)

Sounds like a great tribe to join! I guess Im a young mum, at 23 with a 5 year olf and a 3 year old. I have a very 'hands off' view of disciplining my kids, which probably comes from my age, and my desire to let them explore everything around them. They are constantly playing in the neighbours gardens or even their homes and run riot in the neighbourhood! Older neighbours just shrug their shoulders and complain, but often put it down to my age and lack of parenting skills.

They dont see it as a parenting choice I have made for my boys. I am always barefoot too, as are my boys which sometimes causes comment amongst neighbours, with my youngest son often playing in the nude, simply because he just wont keep any clothes on! I want them to feel the sensations beneath their feet and be as natural as possible without any restrictions. I have no issues with my boys calling both me and my partner by our first names or swearing around me - they hear me swear all the time, so I cant tell them not to use that language, and then use it myself. Its the same with being barefoot everywhere - you cant be barefoot, and then tell your children to put shoes on their feet!

Living in New Zealand allows a far happier, care free lifestyle, and certainly allows a far more individual approach to child rearing without crazy social restrictions that seem to exist elsewhere. I have no issues allowing my kids to play anywhere in the neighbourhood, ride their bikes in the neighbours gardens (often ruining their flower beds!) and talk and act how ever they want. As a young mum I simply am not bogged down by any rules,wearing anything I want, especially now its summer here and acting in any way that I feel suits my lifestyle.


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## Paigekitten (Feb 22, 2008)

I am pretty laid back too, but I do like to teach my children how to respect other people's possessions and property. DH and I don't swear, but if we did, I wouldn't mind my children using the same words, but I would help them realize when it is socially appropriate to do so.

Just as I don't want my children to hurt me or my things, I don't let them hurt other people or other people's things.


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## solemum (Nov 7, 2011)

Your approach is certainly different to mine, obviously both my partner and I have discussed how we want to bring our children up, and he is very happy to leave everything to me. I still think my two ds's 'respect' our neighbours and their gardens etc., but I certainlky dont want to hold them back from having lots of fun and experiences, without me nagging at them all the time.

One time an elderly neighbour did try to tell my eldest ds off for playing in her garden and jumping on her outdoor furniture. I heard her shouting and marched over, and gave her a real 'mouthful' for telling my ds off, this really just a difference in ages and parenting styles, I think. I have no problem with our ds's jumping on our furniture at home for example, and really feel its hypocritical to stop them from doing it when they are at the neighbours home, or at other family members homes.

When we go to my MIL's house, it is chaos, she hates the freedom I have given my children. She hates the fact that I am pretty much 100% barefoot, as are the two boys, and refuses to be seen in public with us because she maintains I should have shoes on my feet, even though, for me barefeet are completely natural and comfortable.

As for the swearing, again both my partner and I swear around the house, so it is only natural our boys will pick up this language and use it wherever they want. I cant stop them, nor do I want to be hypocritical - Im not going to stop swearing, so I cant expect them to. Alreadt my eldest son, who has just started school, has been told off for his language, but have tried to explain to the teacher my views and attitude. I really dont think they understand our lifestyle choice at all.


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

Quote:


> . I have no problem with our ds's jumping on our furniture at home for example, and really feel its hypocritical to stop them from doing it when they are at the neighbours home, or at other family members homes.


The thing is that when you're at other people's homes, the thing to do is to follow their lead on how comfortable they are with things like children jumping on their furniture and being in their gardens. Letting your ds play on your neighbors' things without their consent will make it so you and your children are the type of people that the neighbors don't want around.

Quote:


> Alreadt my eldest son, who has just started school, has been told off for his language, but have tried to explain to the teacher my views and attitude. I really dont think they understand our lifestyle choice at all.


Again, when you teach your children to do things that aren't acceptable in some settings, you have to expect them to get told off for the behavior. If you teach your son that he can swear in school, you're setting him up to be getting in trouble in school. Perhaps if you don't want him conforming to social norms, homeschooling might be a better option.


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## solemum (Nov 7, 2011)

Thanks for your comment. Obviously our approach is a bit different to yours and thats ok. I am a very 'laid back' mother and dont really care about many of the issues that some other mothers have, I truly have no interest in what my two sons do when they play in the neighbours property, I am completely happy for them to do whatever they want, always using the age old phrase 'boys will be boys' if they cause any problems or damage.

An elderly couple recently moved in next door and I went over with my two sons and introduced myself to them. Having been gardening in barefeet, all our feet were very dirty so all three of us left lovely dirty footprints on their bloody cream carpet! But again the children had a great time running round the house exploring their property and jumping on their lounge suite, while we sat and chatted and drank wine all afternoon, with the two children sneaking sips from the wine bottle! Obviously this elderly couple were quite surprised that I didnt stop the children running around the house like this, but I explained to them that I'm sure they wouldnt break anything and that they were full of energy! I think in many ways, because I am so sure of myself and come across very confidently with my children, these neighbours are timid and reluctant to complain, although once or twice they have and I have simply told them to piss off! I am not at all interested in stopping my children from having fun and experiencing anything they want, any form of discipline from me or my partner, simply runs contrary to that philosophy, and will limit their enjoyment. The same obviously extends to the clothes they wear and their desire to be barefoot wherever they want - they havent never wanted to put shoes on their feet, and being a100% barefooter myself I thought this was great, it simply reinforced that I was doing something right!

My eldest son wanted some piercings, like his mum, so we took him down to the parlour and he got his ears pierced - again he wants to copy me, and I am bloody comfortable with that.

I guess in some ways it is the same with my children swearing, all children do it - I hear it all the time in the school playground. To me its a complete 'non issue' and the school should not even raise the issue with me as their mother. Certainly I will refuse to meet the principal again if he wants to bring it up. The school needs to learn to accept the swearing of my son and move on. As i said in my thread, both my partner and I swear alot both at home and in public, and it is only natural both ds's pick it up and use it - again that is their chose and I am not going to discipline them for words I use regularly at home and in public. I have thought of unschooling/homeschooling but my son has plenty of good friends at the school and I want him to have the interaction that a school provides - plus it would interfere too much with my life!


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## chelsey1987 (Jul 9, 2010)

good luck!what are you gonna do when your son take a gun and tells you he wants to play?are you gonna let him shoot you?I don't see how you call it a parenting style when you don't parent your boys-you let them do whatever they want-they don't respect someone's property,they don't respect the people and their work.You are proud of them leaving the foot prints on your neighbours carpet-did you realize how much work it cost your neighbour to clean it?


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## chelsey1987 (Jul 9, 2010)

One more thing-you let your kids drink the alcohol with you-are you gonna give them some narcoticks or medicine only because they want to?


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## Paigekitten (Feb 22, 2008)

There is a difference between laid back and negligent. I am a laid back mother, I am a young mother. My children pick their own clothes, their own foods, are barefoot when they want to be, but I'm still their mother and responsible for giving them information about the results of their actions and be responsible for protecting them and help them learn how to navigate the world in a way that won't land them in jail as adults. Using age as an excuse for refusing to be a parent is why the rest of us young mothers get so much undeserved judgement from other generations.


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## Adaline'sMama (Apr 16, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *solemum*
> 
> Thanks for your comment. Obviously our approach is a bit different to yours and thats ok. I am a very 'laid back' mother and dont really care about many of the issues that some other mothers have, I truly have no interest in what my two sons do when they play in the neighbours property, I am completely happy for them to do whatever they want, always using the age old phrase 'boys will be boys' if they cause any problems or damage.
> 
> ...


Wow, this post is the very reason you hear so many people say things like "children have no business having children." I would hate to be your neighbor, kid's teacher, grandmother or anyone else who has to come into contact with your children if you arent teaching them to respect others or their property. Not stopping your kid from jumping on a neighbors couch? Telling neighbors to piss off when they complain about your children's disrespectful behavior? And homeschooling would "interfere too much" with your life? Seriously? Why did you even have kids if you cant be bothered with the time and energy it takes to parent or even watch them? 3 and 5 is just too young it be sneaking sips from your wine bottle while you sit and ignore it and let your kids run rampant all over elderly people's house. Not appropriate, not at all.


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## sosurreal09 (Nov 20, 2009)

Is this even real? Seems like trolling to me...

Anyways turned 24 and number 2 is on the way! I found a lot of friends (one not that much older) at my local LLL too!


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## solemum (Nov 7, 2011)

Wow! Im amazed at the reaction of all you 'expert' young mama's out there! As for the last comment, of course I'm bloody real! Many of your comments are completely unrealistic, there is no way my boys will use guns or drugs etc.... as for the wine sipping, I would far rather they do it with me, than behind my back. My family and neighbours now fully realise how we raise our children, and although they probably dont like my attitude, certainly tolerate it.

There is absolutely no need for me to stifle the fun they have and the freedom they enjoy, and even though it may upset elderly neighbours and cause some minor damage to their property, both my partner and I refuse to change.


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## Paigekitten (Feb 22, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *sosurreal09*
> 
> Is this even real? Seems like trolling to me...
> 
> Anyways turned 24 and number 2 is on the way! I found a lot of friends (one not that much older) at my local LLL too!


Congratulations! I just had my third daughter, about a month and half after my 25th birthday. It's actually kind of weird being "mom aged" now.


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## Adaline'sMama (Apr 16, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *solemum*
> 
> Wow! Im amazed at the reaction of all you 'expert' young mama's out there! As for the last comment, of course I'm bloody real! Many of your comments are completely unrealistic, there is no way my boys will use guns or drugs etc.... as for the wine sipping, I would far rather they do it with me, than behind my back. My family and neighbours now fully realise how we raise our children, and although they probably dont like my attitude, certainly tolerate it.
> 
> There is absolutely no need for me to stifle the fun they have and the freedom they enjoy, and *even though it may upset elderly neighbours and cause some minor damage to their property, both my partner and I refuse to change*.


And when you grow up a little bit, you will realize how much your children NEED you to change.

By the way, the whole "id rather them drink wine in front of me than behind my back" argument is something that you can say when your kids are in high school- not when they are three years old. Im seriously suprised that your elderly neighbors didnt call the authorities on you.


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## solemum (Nov 7, 2011)

I cannot believe the bloody intolerance and arrongance all of you mama's have shown! I am determined not to let you get the last word. There is absolutely nothing wrong with my two sons, they love the way we have fun together without me controlling them at all, and really to be honest, the neighbours just have to live with that! Just the same as they have to live with the music I play when we have parties etc.! Its simply part of living in our neighbourhood.

My MIL uses the same arguements all of you have used on me, but I am very happy with the way our children are turning out and have absolutely no desire or need to change a bloody thing!


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## sosurreal09 (Nov 20, 2009)

Just b/c you keep posting doesn't mean your not a troll...


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## canadianhippie (Jul 1, 2010)

My goodness how this thread took a turn

For me, I conceived my son at age 19 with the love of my young life, unfortunetly, it faceplanted around the time I found out at 3 1/2 weeks, I should have seen it, but ah to be young and naive. A relationship that made me feel alone, and I was, saw him a handful of times during pregnancy and now we average 2-3 times a year. No support and still healing from emotional and physical abuse rooted from alcoholism, but sad story aside I gave birth about 2 months after my 20th birthday to a absolutely adorable baby boy

I'm now 22, completing my second year of college. I returned to work when my son was 10 months and continued to work part time, while going to school full time until 3 months before his second birthday when I had made a decision to move back to my home town in the city, gain more independence and pursue a non-long distance relationship with an amazing man a mutual friend hooked me up with. But our housing situation fell to poop and housing in the toronto area is hugely expensive ( $1000 a month plus for building complexes in subpar neighborhoods. And so we (me and my boyfriend of now 10 months) moved back to my home.

Now my son is 2 yrs, 3 months old and is everything I could have dreamed for, my son for about 4 months now began calling him "daddy" despite early corrections, i was told " no, daddy" and so he has a daddy, you wouldn't believe the looks we get, 2 white parents and a mixed baby lol but my boyfriend is just the man we need, I cant say anything else but were blessed and very lucky

I decided when i was pregnant, very early I was going to devote everything to give him the best, I read and read and became as informed as I could, I decided to not circumsize him, not vaccinate and to breastfeed as long as I could. I fed him all organic baby food and learned to baby wrap. I co-slept and practised attachment parenting and it payed off! He's so confident and enthusiastic, he makes us laugh daily and has new words everyday.

I come from a traditional english upbringing, "dine with the queen, no nonsense" lol so I do have certain mannerisms I hold dear, I may mention numerous disagrees with PP but i rather talk about other successes and barriers to being a young mother, ya?

anyways, life story out, hope to share with you all !


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## Paigekitten (Feb 22, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *solemum*
> 
> I cannot believe the bloody intolerance and arrongance all of you mama's have shown! I am determined not to let you get the last word. There is absolutely nothing wrong with my two sons, they love the way we have fun together without me controlling them at all, and really to be honest, the neighbours just have to live with that! Just the same as they have to live with the music I play when we have parties etc.! Its simply part of living in our neighbourhood.
> 
> My MIL uses the same arguements all of you have used on me, but I am very happy with the way our children are turning out and have absolutely no desire or need to change a bloody thing!


Parenting doesn't have to be about control. It can be about partnership, but that takes leading by example.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *sosurreal09*
> 
> Just b/c you keep posting doesn't mean your not a troll...












CanadianHippie, that is so cool that you did all that research before having your son. I wish I hadn't vaccinated my first.


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## sosurreal09 (Nov 20, 2009)

I researched the hell out of everything too and am so glad I did! However I couldn't make up my mind about vax before she was born and ended up vaxing her fully until she was 9 m/o she had a ton of medical problems and then magically when I stopped vaxing she was completely healed in 3 months! We will not be vaxing any other children!


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## canadianhippie (Jul 1, 2010)

thank you, I had no idea it was dangerous until I started lurking here and read up on the resources, i keep it private mainly, I got a lot of complaints from the doctor and family but stayed strong and Im very happy with my decision

Ive read that alot sosurreal09, problems stemming from vax-ing then they leave once the needles are stopped, im happy you've come to a decision that makes you comfortable and keeps your babies healthy!


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## sosurreal09 (Nov 20, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *canadianhippie*
> 
> thank you, I had no idea it was dangerous until I started lurking here and read up on the resources, i keep it private mainly, I got a lot of complaints from the doctor and family but stayed strong and Im very happy with my decision
> 
> Ive read that alot sosurreal09, problems stemming from vax-ing then they leave once the needles are stopped, im happy you've come to a decision that makes you comfortable and keeps your babies healthy!


I don't even have a choice in the matter considering it was a miracle she was even able to be healed! As far as I know she has no lasting effects but I do worry about her gut (intestinal bleeding all 9 months, unexplained, EBF and elimination diet) and also worry if the seizures she suffered had any effect, so far so good though.


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## canadianhippie (Jul 1, 2010)

oh man seizures and intestinal bleeding? you werent kidding about complications, that must have been so hard 

my babe was in the NICU for the first couple of days but nothing major but some sniffles since, that was hard enough Im happy he hasnt had any complications to date, i cant imagine how hard it must be

what kinds of resources has everyone utilized as a young mother? ie) prenatal nutrition groups, baby groups, alternative health, financial benefits etc?


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## sosurreal09 (Nov 20, 2009)

Holistic moms group is awesome as well as LLL. That's about it for me


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## canadianhippie (Jul 1, 2010)

this tribe has had a crazy amount of views!

There was prenatal nutrition classes for young moms at the early years centre when i was first expecting, it was nice provided healthy snack and resources and guest speakers

When i moved back home, i tried to find the same class near by, found a similar structure but I went once and was shocked, my public health nurse said it was for mothers recommended by children's aid and i shouldnt go, no kidding my goodness "my name is ..... and i dont know how far along i am" "im 22 and this is my third" smoking cigarettes outside with a big belly on them, after that I didnt attend any other classes

There was teen pregnancy outreach centre, run by senior volunteers however they just made me feel bad. They helped me find maternity clothes and gave me brand new bravado maternity panties and nursing bras which helped alot. Even a christmas card that following year.

I missed the set times for the hospital birth classes, so my public health nurse did my classes. I signed up for our Healthy Babies Healthy Children program, they do pre and post natal visits at your home, but...lol didnt help, by that time ( my 8 month i think?) I was helping her teach, knowing most of the in's and out's, and suggested breathing but didnt use "key key key" i was a "shhhhh shhhhh" girl

I'm always a year behind on taxes so my baby bonus's come in a big chunk instead of monthly

After he was born I attended baby group at the local early years(ontario early years centres, government funded early learning centres run by certified early childhood educators providing programming from birth to 6 yrs, not sure if thats everywhere else!)

when he was 9 weeks, began baby picasso (food playing) shortly after. Baby group was saving grace! It helped me adjust so much and I even learned to babywear there as well. I still go to early years nearly every week

I think thats about all the resources I utilize, i found I rather be mentored by older mothers than young mothers my age, most of them left their babies before 6 weeks to party and continue to leave their children with neighbors and friends and argue, swear all that in front of them, absolutely no comradery with them!

i've gone to the local beaches, museums, libraries, cultural events from when he was a wee one, ill never believe the phrase "oh they're too young to get anything out of it"


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## canadianhippie (Jul 1, 2010)

sosurreal09, what's holistic mom's group? Ive never heard of it but sounds encouraging 

There wasnt a local LLL chapter here, but there was a leader who was a lactation consultant i spoke to over the phone once, so helpful, we were on the phone for over an hour, and she was a MDC mother!


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## CTH3989 (Sep 28, 2006)

Hi, I'm a young mom. I'm 22 and I have a 5 year old and a 3 year old. I'm hoping that DH will jump on board and we can TTC #3 soon.


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## sosurreal09 (Nov 20, 2009)

Welcome Chelci!

I'm in the states so IDK if the organization is in Canada or not! Holisitic moms group is just a group for moms who parent holistically...or as much as they want. We are pretty all out there holistic! Drug free birthing, non vaxing, homeopathy, naturopathy, no chemical cleaners, all whole foods organic diet etc etc. There have been some moms there that IDK why they are there really haha but most of them are very crunchy/holistic as well.

I'm 18 weeks pregnant now (19 tomorrow!) I can't believe how fast this is flying by! I'm still nursing DD and still making milk surprisingly! I can't wait for my home birth!


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## MamaKiara (Dec 4, 2011)

Hi, I'm 23 I have an 18 month old and am 17 weeks pregnant with # 2. Just thought id say hello.


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## sosurreal09 (Nov 20, 2009)

Welcome mama! Your DD is so cute!!!


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## MamaKiara (Dec 4, 2011)

Thank you!


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## VeggieLovinMama (Feb 23, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *WifeofAnt*
> 
> Everyone else my age having kids are having 'oops' babies. They're doing the parenting thing because they have to, not because they want to, and it really shows.


Oops babies are not only raised because the parents "have to". Many oops babies are definitely wanted! I'm sure that's not what you meant, but it kind of came across that way.

It's awesome that you are helping out a teen mom. I try to help out young moms whenever I can. My brother and his gf had a baby at 17. My family took her in since her mother was trying to force her to have an abortion (so were all of her teachers and they even threatened to kick her out of the school if she didn't). She ended up breastfeeding her son (who had terrible reflux) for over a year, which is amazing considering how difficult it was. She's a great mom


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## VeggieLovinMama (Feb 23, 2010)

I'm a young mom too and I can totally relate. People almost balk at the fact that I have 3 kids and I "look so young". It's like they feel a mixture of sympathy and judgement that I didn't use birth control or something! I had a child when I was 17. He's 8 now and I have a 3 year old, a 1 year old, and one on the way. I've dealt with the looks and the judgments for a looong time. Even though I'm married and my other 2 children were planned (but not this last one!), people still judge. I'm always asked how old I am and how old my oldest is. They just 'need' to know if I was a teen mom. It's really rather rude. I too cannot find any moms my age really. And when I can, they only have a young baby. I haven't found anyone that is my age, with a child close to my eldest's age that I can relate too. Unfortunately the moms I've knows that were teens do not relate to me very well. They usually are travelling different paths of parenthood than me and we can't connect on any level. The older moms are the same. Usually more serious or have drastically different parenting styles (helicopter parents!). I'm glad I had children young, but it is extremely isolating.


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## sosurreal09 (Nov 20, 2009)

WTH is a helicopter parent?! Never heard that one haha


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## VeggieLovinMama (Feb 23, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *sosurreal09*
> 
> WTH is a helicopter parent?! Never heard that one haha


Someone who hovers around their kid constantly afraid of what might happen to them. Super over protective and seriously annoying. I find this occurs more often with folks who've started having kids in their later years.


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## sosurreal09 (Nov 20, 2009)

OIC! Yeah I would agree with you. Most of the moms at the park were freaking out when I let my 15 m/o climb on everything and do slides by herself and what not. Well heck she could do it why wouldn't I let her?


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## lookatreestar (Apr 14, 2008)

younger mom here, all my friends are 30 or older... closer to 40.


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## canadianhippie (Jul 1, 2010)

Oh! your all so lucky to be expecting







congrats and I hope your enjoying your pregnancies!

CTH3989, you were 17 with your first? you too VeggieLovinMama! my goodness, my close friend had her baby at 17 and I gotta tell ya, when i rolled around at 19, i had the utmost respect for her, the extra years helped, i dont know how you did it so young!

Hey MamaKiara! congrats on your baby and yes your DD is precious

dont see the wifeofant post, but yes some (not all) teen mothers need alot of guidance, the hardest thing is having to see unjust things done to children and lacking the control to prevent it, it's the hardest thing to anticipate about my career

I feel like Im somewhat used to the judgement of being younger but once and a while it gets to me, especially the sympathy look. oh man!

the awww its ok! look

the worst I find is not only being young and a mother but mother to a mixed child, theres a whole other fun can of worms. I fit a typically terrible demographic and have a lot more stares then you'd expect


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## VeggieLovinMama (Feb 23, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *cakahy*
> 
> Another young mama here. I'm 25 and pregnant with my third


That was me last year! Now I'm 26 and expecting my fourth


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## VeggieLovinMama (Feb 23, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *sosurreal09*
> 
> OIC! Yeah I would agree with you. Most of the moms at the park were freaking out when I let my 15 m/o climb on everything and do slides by herself and what not. Well heck she could do it why wouldn't I let her?


Exactly! I've experienced this soooo many times. My husband even got 'told off' because he was running around on the play equipment with our son (he was being fairly calm, very careful, and responsible.). We were 18 or 19 at the time and I know it was discrimination b/c we were younger. We just laughed at her b/c she was just sitting on the bench watching her poor kid who was obviously enthralled by my husband's game... we felt bad for him.


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## VeggieLovinMama (Feb 23, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *solemum*
> 
> Alreadt my eldest son, who has just started school, has been told off for his language, but have tried to explain to the teacher my views and attitude. I really dont think they understand our lifestyle choice at all.


I find it interesting that you send your kids to school. Have you ever considered homeschooling? That would certainly make your parenting choices easier to maintain and not restrict your children or cause them to be 'outcast' by the other kids or teachers for being different! Just a thought as I found public schools far too restrictive for my kids.


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## anjsmama (Apr 6, 2011)

to all of you young mamas! I recognize some of you from the boards.

I'm MJ. I was 18 when I became pregnant with my DS, 19 when he was born. I actually conceived my DS the first time my DH & I ever slept together (we were not married then). At DH's absolute insistence, he moved in when I was a few months along to help take care of me and the baby. I worked for a bank and had my own place at that time (I graduated high school at 16).

DS was born in August. He was 3 weeks early. I started into sparatic labor at 36 weeks 6 days and was induced when I arrived at the hospital due to severe preeclampsia. A pretty strange condition since I was 120 lb pre preg (155 lb at delivery) and had never had a high blood pressure reading. DS was 4 lbs 11 oz due to IUGR and (then undiagnosed) heart condition. It was all a very cruel sort of transition to motherhood but it helped me grow up very fast. Every doctor I had during that pregnancy missed things, very important things, despite their completely needless medical procedures.

We bought our first house in December, and got engaged the day we moved in. That was also the day we found out DS had a heart defect and had to have surgery, like ASAP. DS had open heart surgery 12/8/08 just shy of 4 months old. He recovered very quickly and in great thanks to the universe for saving my baby, I dedicated my life to being the best possible mom I could ever be. Much to my dismay (looking back now) DS stopped BFing shortly after his surgery, was vaccinated and circumcised.

DH & I got married the next year when I was 20. DS was 1 year and 2 weeks old and walked down the aisle with our rings.  A few months later when DS turned 18 m/o we started trying for baby #2. It took a few months (and a few meltdowns at all those negative tests!) but in late May 2010 we found out DD was on her way. And then the research began. Pregnancy number 2 at 21 y/o was completely different. I ate completely organic and took only food based supplements (and still do!) and listened to my own heart and intellect and research more than anything else. Despite my dedication to a healthy pregnancy, DD almost died at birth. I labored for only 6 hours at 39 weeks even, and delivered naturally (no drugs). I had a seizure during labor. I pushed twice. Doc wasn't there yet. On the first push, my water broke, on the second, DD was born. January 2011, 6 lb 8 oz. She wasn't breathing, and her cord was wrapped around her neck. It was also one strand and inside out. It snapped and blood sprayed everywhere when they removed it from her neck. She began crying quickly after and was pink in no time. Her second apgar was an 8. When they FINALLY gave her to me 20 minutes later she latched on with ease and nursed for over an hour. Doc showed up and manually yanked my placenta from me, as she had to do because it was not connected to anything.

DD's umbilical cord had been connected to the amniotic fluid throughout the pregnancy (not placenta in any way) and the cord also was laying in front of the cervix completely blocking the birth canal. All of the conditions combined are called Vasa Previa, and it carries a mortality rate of 95%. The babies who survive are the ones who are detected early, and Mom is admitted to the hospital for the last trimester, and c-section is scheduled for 35 weeks. That's all because the babies entire lifeline is the amniotic sac. If the water breaks, baby has 3 minutes to live. Needless to say, DD's survival was a complete miracle. Her head made the EXACT perfect descent so as not to burst the cord until after she was born, and my water did not break until I was actually pushing. I started pushing at 10:59 and she was born at 11:01. My doctor and the nurses said they were unaware of a baby with VP that had ever survived a natural delivery... and after research months later, I was only able to find 2 others (ever).

So if DS's ordeal didn't sober me up as a mother, you can say DD's pushed me over the edge. Her doctors missed an easily diagnosable condition that very, very nearly killed her. Conventional medicine is about MONEY, not about care.

Now I am 22. My DH just turned 27 and we recently moved as he began a career in law enforcement. I just left my job a few months ago and am now a full time SAHM. DD is a no vax baby, and she is also following BLW. We use our chiropractor as our main source of care, and the kids have a holistic pediatrician who is supportive of extended breastfeeding and non vax decisions.

I view being their mom as both my joy and my job. My kiddos go to bed at 7 and I research from 7-8 every night. Being educated and informed to make the best possible decision for my children is #1 for me. I only get to do this once. I don't get a do-over as a mother.

Joining parenting groups drive me insane because people automatically assume things like I was in HS when DS was born, I was single (I mean I wasn't married, but wasn't single) , that I don't know what birth control is, that I'm uninformed and make in-the-moment decisions. None of which are true. And the other thing that drives me crazy is... even if I WAS in high school or I HAD been single, SO WHAT? All that matters now is how I care for my kids. My brother is now engaged to a woman who is a year younger than me (21), who had her 4 year old DD when she was 17. Every person in her life asked her get an abortion. Instead she got a job and a tiny apartment and is now graduating from college and is one of my best mom friends because she thinks through EVERY decision for her daughter and has since day one.

So there's my life story! Nice to connect with some other moms in the same years of their life who can relate....


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## VeggieLovinMama (Feb 23, 2010)

Wow, amazing story! No wonder you feel blessed. I had pre-eclampsia with my first son as well. They said it was most likely due to my age (being so young has a higher incidence rate). I wasn't really over weight either and I ate fairly well (very well compared to most people, but not as well as I do now).


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