# 14 month old pinching?



## cinnam0n (May 21, 2010)

My 14 month old DD has started pinching and grabbing. DH and I have been responding by saying "no, that hurts" and gently removing her hand. She continues to repeat the pinching, and gets very upset when we try and redirect her. Any tips?? Is this just a normal phase that she is going through?


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## ArcticRose (May 13, 2009)

My DD has been known to do that. It hurts! She'll do it for a few weeks and then quit for a while. I've found it usually coincides with teething or a growth spurt. It's like she has a bunch of pent up energy or frustration or just plain crawlies that she doesn't know how to deal with.

We've been doing pretty much what you've been doing, telling her no, and to be nice, etc.

There was one time when she just wouldn't quit, no matter how I redirected and distracted, so... I pinched her back. Not hard, but enough to get her attention. She quit doing it for a while after that. I'm not sure it was the best thing to do, but it worked.


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## teachma (Dec 20, 2002)

My son's almost 16 months old, and he went through a similar stage a couple of months ago (his included pinching and some hitting in the face, as well). When distraction and redirection didn't work, I ultimately decided to place him down on the floor (I was usually holding him or playing with him in my lap when the offending activity took place) and walk away, saying calmly, "Mommy only likes gentle playing" or something similar. He would usually cry, come after me, and then ask to be picked up again. When I picked him up again, if he pinched/hit, down he went, and away I slowly walked. It did not take long at all for him to realize that I would not spend time with him if he hurt me. I'm not sure this is considered GD but it's an approach I found to work.


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## fyrwmn (Jan 5, 2009)

we started early on teaching the kids a few basic signs. one of the main ones was "gentle". basically pat the backside of one handgentle with the palm of the other. ds is 14mo, and while he doesn't usually pinch, he has a habit of starting to hit instead. not in an angry/mean way, but just as something to do. we'll be nursing and he'll decide it's fun to play "smack the boobie", etc. what i've found very effective, is to gently catch his hand and softly tell him "gentle" while using his hand to show him gentle touch. this works well when he gets overexcited and whacks the cat too







. it seems to be working, as when he starts getting rough on occasion while we're running errands and he's being worn, all it takes is a verbal reminder of 'gentle' an he'll start gently patting my arm.


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