# O.M.G...help...they dumped every food out in the living room....



## True Blue (May 9, 2003)

While I slept this morning, my kids dumped out about 3 bags of flour, 6 boxes of (new cereal), the (new) big bag of oatmeal, my coffee, and who knows what else all over my living room floor. WTF??? I don't even know what to do with them let alone where to start cleaning it!







: They obviously have to help, but there have to be other (logical/natural) consequences...WWYD? They honestly have wasted close to $100 in food.

http://www.kodakgallery.com/Slidesho...Uy=775aq3&Ux=0


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## chfriend (Aug 29, 2002)

I"m sorry you have a mess to clean up. With my kids it wouldn't have been safe for me to be sleeping while they were awake at 4 and 2. My 6 year old very occasionally gets ups .5 hour ahead of me...well, I'm awake, but still talking to the 2 year old. I'm not really "up" until my glasses are on.









Also, my 6 and 2 year old both still need me to make breakfast for them when they get up.

I think the natural consequence is that you have to salvage what food you can and get up to hang out with your kids in the morning. Personally, I wouldn't clean it up until I'd had some coffee and breakfast myself.

Hope you all have sweet cozy morning.


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## Jmo780 (May 3, 2006)

OMG!

First, I would make them help clean it up-After 5 minutes of that, they will be sorry they made that mess! But stick with it and make them clean the whole living room up.

Other than that I can't give you any other GD advice







I am sure I would have had a screaming fit. (In all honesty.)

*Hugs* wow. I think the most my kids ever did was like drag all the blankets and pillows and couch cushions out and throw them all over the living room....

Please do let us know how you handle this.


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## onlyboys (Feb 12, 2004)

Wow. That is a mess!

Did they sneak out of bed? I'd say that you can't be too irritated with them because they were unattended. But,they should still help you clean up!


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## UltimateSerj (Apr 9, 2002)

WOW! i know i like to sleep in a bit to and useally my kids are great.. sometimes they get everything out but not like that...
i would probably ( and i admit i am not the best at GD) of lost it and yelled at them and sent them to there rooms with doors closed ... i find cleaning up my self is a lot easier for me. if they where helping i would get more frustrated and yell a lot more.


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## Magella (Apr 5, 2004)

Oh, wow!







Yikes. I imagine walking in to find that and feeling very frustrated, overwhelmed, disappointed and angry.

I can only tell you what I imagine I would do. First, I'd remind myself that my kids weren't trying to be malicious, but were having fun--and what a sensory experience that must have been! They are little, and really don't think about consequences like we adults do, and can't control their impulses like we adults do. Second, I'd talk to my kids, tell them how I feel about that mess and the wasted food, and tell them we need to make sure that doesn't happen again. Third, we'd clean up together. I think this is really the only natural consequence aside from my obvious disapproval/unhappiness. Finally, I'd make a plan as to how to avoid that ever happening again--putting items like that where they can't be reached, giving them time to play with such items while supervised (and in the kitchen or outside), making sure that either I am not asleep while they are up or that they have things to occupy them while I sleep that are not so messy (and possibly containing them in a safe area while I sleep, with a gate), or whatever other solution I could come up with. I'd likely involve the children in coming up with a solution to prevent that from happening again, asking them for ideas. This is the same process I've used when any of my children have done their toddler thing of pouring out cereal/other single item onto the floor-and while simply pouring out cereal or anther single item is obviously on a much smaller scale, I think it's basically the same issue. This has worked for us, I've never had a child repeat dumping, though I am wary of taking credit for that (perhaps they just got it out of their systems in that one episode). I think a process like this is much more likely to teach them what I want them to learn than coming up with other consequences would be, though I too would feel the urge to come up with a list of unpleasant consequences. That is just what I would do.








I hope your day gets better. And I hope you have a shop-vac, or can rent/borrow one.


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

Oh, man, that is awful! Poor you guys! I'd start with picking up the packaging, and then use the vaccum nozzle to suck up what I could without rubbing. Looks like there is OJ there as well. After you vaccum, put towels around the wet stuff to get up what you can.

They seem to be very spirited. Maybe a baby monitor in your room? Amplified giggling might have tipped you off.

That would make me cry, but it is a good photo op.


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## Cujobunny (Aug 16, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *UUMom* 
That would make me cry, but it is a good photo op.









And someday you will laugh about it. When I was little I was left alone for a couple of minutes on my aunt's bed after my bath. When my mom returned I had dumped a whole container of powder allllllll over myself and the bed! My brother was worse, he got into a huge bag of flour in my grandmother's pantry, and while my mom was cleaning that up, he got into the ashes in the fireplace. Spread them all over the living room. Talk about a mess. We still get teased about these stories.

P.S. I just looked at the pic and noticed the little legs on the couch in the background...







I think I would have packed the kids up and left and hoped that fairies cleaned it up while I was gone.


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## True Blue (May 9, 2003)

They are cleaning it up. Yeah, there was lots of yelling but when I really got mad I left the room...lol. Part of me, honestly, wanted to laugh...it was like something out of a sitcom. They are using spoons and buckets and bowls to shovel it all up.

FWIW, DS has always been an early riser and has gotten up without me for ages. He turns on the tv and I get a little more much needed z's. DH gets up soon after him to get ready for work, then leaves at about 6:30. THere have been messes before, yes, but this is above and beyond any acceptable range. At almost 5, my DS KNOWS this is wrong.

We normally get to go to playgroup this morning, but they are not going anywhere, watching any tv, playing on the computer, playing in general, eating any sweets, NOTHING until the room is clean. Obviously, my little DD has less responsibility in this than he does, but I'm getting her to clean too. Sure it would be faster if I did it...but what kind of impression would that leave? So they are doing it themselves with some direction from me. DS can vaccuum once he digs up enough inches of flour to do so. Of course, I will have to clean deeper when they are done, but I see no reason why they can't do the bulk of it. A lesson has to be learned here somewhere.

When I said there was nothing for me to eat for breakfast, they thought I should just go to the store and buy more. So of course no concept of money and cost, etc. Which is understandable at this age. I'm so mad though that I am considering making them pick a couple of toys to ebay to pay for the food...is that too much do you think? Is taking responsibility and cleaning enough? I just feel that they really need to understand what a big deal this all is.


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## True Blue (May 9, 2003)

Quote:

That would make me cry, but it is a good photo op.
Yeah, I'm getting pictures LOL. My DD looked like a ghost for a bit there. Picture two kids in undies and shoes cleaning flour...









Thank G-D they did not dump any liquids out, just the powders, mixes, and other dry goods!!!! I know they were having fun doing it and not trying to be malicious...but geesh!!!


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## gaialice (Jan 4, 2005)

Wow! Well, I agree with all sledge said + a natural consequence here would be that not every item is replaced straight away. I mean, I'm not saying that they should go without food, but then for a few days there will be fewer breakfast choices. Not in a punitive way. But then I would not go out of my way to replace every item within the day either. Like for felter pens, often leaving them uncapped will mean that they dry out, and while I try to help them remember, sometimes I forget myself and it does happen that we find that quite a few colours are gone, and I will buy another box of course but not straight away this minute.


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

OMG. I would be pissed. So pissed. I have no helpful suggestions really. But I think it's fine to let them know you are pissed, and make them at least help clean it up. I personally wouldn't let mine do a single fun thing until the mess was fixed. And I wouldn't feel a bit bad for sleeping - sometimes you gotta sleep, and if they know better, it's not your fault at all IMO.

I would get locks for the cupboard in future.


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## mavery (Jun 3, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *True Blue* 
I'm so mad though that I am considering making them pick a couple of toys to ebay to pay for the food...is that too much do you think?

I probably wouldn't go there, though I might "redirect" money that was to be spent on a treat to replace the wasted food, and explain to them right away that that's what will happen. Even if it's just that you don't buy some favourite snack the next time you go shopping--it won't cover all the cost of the food but it does help show them that there's only a limited amount of money and if you have to spend it on one thing, it's not there for something else.


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

Yeah, I wouldn't ebay the toys either. Although I can definitely understand the inclination! I would be furious, I can totally relate to feeling really angry. I would be beside myself with fury.

Take a breath, and wait a few days. Don't jump the gun too much mama, I don't think they'll make the connection with the toys, and for mine she would be devastated. *Too* devastated, I wouldn't feel good.








to you.


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## True Blue (May 9, 2003)

Quote:

P.S. I just looked at the pic and noticed the little legs on the couch in the background... I think I would have packed the kids up and left and hoped that fairies cleaned it up while I was gone.
You would have gotten to see the food covered, very-proud-of what-they'd-done children as well, except they were naked so I didn't want it floating around the web like that LOL!!!!

You are all probably right about the toys...I'm just MAD...LOL. I DO like the idea of not buying a fun snack or something though. And not having as much cereal around this next week for breakfast choices.


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## chfriend (Aug 29, 2002)

This is not said in a harsh tone. But if you are driving and not paying attention and you have an accident, you can't blame the road.

I'm really glad that you are all safe. The lesson here is that you need to get up with your kids.

I would look around my house and be glad I'm not dead with my children. I have a gas stove. I have water that can scald. I have toxic chemicals.

I'd be grateful the house wasn't blown up, hug my children and figure that I needed to go to bed earlier. I would not assume I could sleep in without someone watching my kids.

I would take responsibility for my failure to supervise my 4 year old (not 5 for 4 more months if I do my math right, so let's say 4 and 2/3) and 2 year old toddler. 4 year olds are not renowned for their impulse control.

If I had a preschool teacher leave my 4 year old alone and be mad that he messed up the room, I'd dismiss the teacher. I have higher standards for myself.


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

I think some people underestimate children.


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## True Blue (May 9, 2003)

Comparing my children to a road is a bit off, don't you think? They are thinking feeling beings, by golly, they KNOW not to do what they did. On that note, my DS would not touch something like the stove...he knows it is dangerous. Something that is dangerous is very different from something that is fun and messy. Dozing in bed or not, I could HEAR my children so I knew they were not in harm's way...I just did not realize they were dumping out all my food. Rattling bags normally indicate eating a snack on the couch.


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

Thinking about it, I think it depends on your child. I have a friend with a 5 year old, and she could *not* leave him alone for any length of time - for sure he would be dumping everything everywhere, or running out of the house and onto the road, or something else like that.

OTOH my 3 year old on Sunday mornings goes out to the living room herself to watch TV - I leave the TV on the kids' channel and she knows how to turn it on. I would be absolutely *shocked* if she dumped my food everywhere or did something else crazy like that. She is just not that kind of child, and if she dumped the food everywhere it would be absolutely intentional, with full knowledge that doing so is not remotely cool. Not saying it would never happen, but if it did it would not be an issue of simple lack of impulse control, as it would be with my friend's son.

We make our decisions in our lives based on our own situations and our own children, and I don't think this is something where we can judge across the internet.


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## chfriend (Aug 29, 2002)

Here's a study the examines 4-6 year old children's recall for home safety rules:

http://jpepsy.oxfordjournals.org/cgi.../full/26/2/105


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

I would not sell their toys. For one, the 2 yr old is too small, and for another they were unsupervised. I know this happens, and some kids are quick and get away from us, but he's only 4 and needs adult supervision. He has some impulse issues, right, if my memory serves? He hurts his sister sometimes? (Was that you saying that...I get confusion. lol If that's not you, sorry).

At any rate, 4 yr olds may 'know' something, but can't always control themselves. Plus, from a consensual living standpoint, were you telling the truth about there being no food at all left in the house for you to eat something? I'd be careful going down that road. Although if it's true, it's true. But guilt trips aren't really the way to go.

I am not saying this is a good thing they did, or that you should laugh and tell them how cute they are, but I think helping to clean it up is enough for their age. And now you know they can't be trusted to control themselves. That time will come, but it's not now.

And I agree..little children can set a house on fire if we're not watching... even if we think they are only watching TV.


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## octobermom (Aug 31, 2005)

Hugs WOW I can honestly say that might have push me over the edge. (even though I know it would resolve nothing) mostly cause right now were still in "winter lombo" the period of time between Christmas break and start of new semester where DH doesn't get any pay cause hes adjunct. Soo I'd be seriously crying as there would be no way for me to replace the food.








Anyways just a personal reflection I agree though with not being able to repace treats too soon. I'd also talk with them about making ammends..

Quote:

I would take responsibility for my failure to supervise my 4 year old (not 5 for 4 more months if I do my math right, so let's say 4 and 2/3) and 2 year old toddler. 4 year olds are not renowned for their impulse control.
I fully expect my 4 year old to not do that (and I also fully expect she could







) Plus kids work fast very fast.







I'm not sure where the OP is living so what her "true time" was but here the post time stamp is 6:03am thats hardly sleeping in


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *True Blue* 
Comparing my children to a road is a bit off, don't you think? They are thinking feeling beings, by golly, they KNOW not to do what they did. On that note, my DS would not touch something like the stove...he knows it is dangerous. Something that is dangerous is very different from something that is fun and messy. Dozing in bed or not, I could HEAR my children so I knew they were not in harm's way...I just did not realize they were dumping out all my food. Rattling bags normally indicate eating a snack on the couch.


Sweetie-- they might have 'known' they shouldn't be doing something, but they did it. They are too young to have the impulse control to not do something, even when they 'know'.

You do not know if they will someday touch the stove. You can't say that for sure. A child might 'know' something is dangerous, just like he 'knew' he should not be dumping food, but a child can convince himslef that he can do something in a safe way, and then, boom, there is oatmeal on the floor, or oatmeal being heated up in a pot...

They *really* do *not* know. The giant mess they are cleaning up gives testament to that. Some kids can out wit us.







You can't blame them for 100% of this. They are only children. And I'm not lecturing.







I'm just speaking from experience.


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## True Blue (May 9, 2003)

Yeah, that was me with the rough DS. Though I must say, I've implemented some other things lately and it has gotten better. I just feel that this is more than impulse, considering it took several trips to the cupboard to get all this food! One carton, I could understand. Sure, maybe I should not have been laying in bed. I haven't slept the night in over 5 years...I have found that lounging in bed a little longer when I can makes me a much more patient and nicer mama. So I guess I deserve a CPS visit.







Shoot me for sleeping in once in a while!!!

Oh and I know they are still young with impulse issues...otherwise there would be more consequences than cleaning LOL. And I would have been a lot madder. I don't think I'd have had the same reaction if they were say 8 and 6...

It's amazing how the tattling instinct disappears when you are having fun dumping food everywhere!









Obviously, changes will have to made in the house about how we do things in the mornings. I don't deny that. I mostly just want input on the best way to discipline in this situation.







I really am mostly into PREVENTING this type of situation than correcting after the fact!!


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *True Blue* 
Yeah, that was me with the rough DS. Though I must say, I've implemented some other things lately and it has gotten better. I just feel that this is more than impulse, considering it took several trips to the cupboard to get all this food! One carton, I could understand. Sure, maybe I should not have been laying in bed. I haven't slept the night in over 5 years...I have found that lounging in bed a little longer when I can makes me a much more patient and nicer mama. So I guess I deserve a CPS visit.







Shoot me for sleeping in once in a while!!!

I totally get where you are coming from, I do exactly the same thing, and I agree that it is not simple impulse control.

Of course, knowing this I would now not give them the opportunity, as I'm sure you won't either. But it doesn't mean you have to feel crappy about it, or get up the very second they do either. Sometimes people want to almost punish the mama, or at least ignore/negate mama's needs and shame us for trying to meet them. Not cool IMO. I would make the little buggers help clean up, let them know I am *pissed*, and get a lock for the cupboard.

Another







. I looked at that pic again, and you need as many







s as you can get!


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## seren (Jul 11, 2003)

Oh my gosh! I think I would have yelled, cried, and yelled some more. And definitely made them clean it up. *sigh* I'm sorry this happened.

I can leave my 5 and three year old alone while I shower or sleep. If I've had a particularly rough night 5 year old even watches my 20 month old while I doze in my bed. Sometimes they make messes, sometimes not. But if my dc's made a mess like that I would be so upset. They do know better And noone can say what anyone else's child is capable of doing.


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

Now, now, nobody is saying call CPS! Shoot her!







:

My thoughts are centered around not putting the blame on soley on the children. They couldn't help themselves, and now they are cleaning it up. Case closed.

I don't think they should be 'punished' any more than I think you should get a visit from CPS.

What's done is done and now you know what they are capable of if you sleep past 4 am.







: You absolutely have all my sympathies! This parenting gig is tought and I suck when sleep deprived. I cry. It's not good, I am not pretty. 6am is an ungodly hour to get up, and I hate it. Hence, my experience in this area of children getting away from us.







:


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## gaialice (Jan 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *seren* 
I can leave my 5 and three year old alone while I shower or sleep. If I've had a particularly rough night 5 year old even watches my 20 month old while I doze in my bed.

Wow lucky you.... my kids will never never let us sleep in. If we are in bed, they're in our bed, too.







Pretending to be trying to go back to sleep with proven methods such as laughing, poking, tickling one another and us as well, kicking .... well, after a while it winds up being a game between myself and dh who can stand this longer gets to sleep in, the other takes the kids to the kitchen and starts breakfast... so from now on, instead of complaining that I never get to sleep in, I will try to picture the living room of the OP....and consider myself lucky about their insistence that the parents get up at the same time they do....


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## edamommy (Apr 6, 2004)

:







: is this a joke? How would one sleep thru this?????

If this happend at my house (which it wouldn't unless a rabid squirrel was set free w/ us being duct taped up...) the FIRST thing to happen would be a lesson on every swear word I've learned being a fisherman's daughter. Then I would do a priamal scream in the middle of the room while glaring at the little demons (how many of them were there? 29?). And then I would have to go call someone (my mother, my dh, grandmother??) to come and remove the children from my sight while I cleaned and scrubbed (well, my ds is 3 1/2... so his "helping" would be way more annoying then him going away) the mess and went out to rob a bank to replace the food.







:


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## Snowdrift (Oct 15, 2005)

Allowing a four year old to spend his mornings unsupervised is a risk. Going through life sleep deprived is a greater risk imho. Regularly denying oneself sleep can lead to falling asleep at the wheel, short attention span and distraction in the kitchen and other dangerous place, irritability, health problems. I don't have a link, but I remember a study that demonstrated that sleep deprivation causes normal adults to repond physiologically like very old people. Mental state can mirror the progress of dementia.

I"m hardly a picture of good sleep health, but to suggest that the OP must get up long before she has had enough sleep is imho wrong-headed. I remember that recently an MDC family lost two children in an auto accident to parental sleep deprivation. An adult who uses the stove regularly is far more likely to leave the gas on when unable to function well due to sleep deprivation than a child who might forget that he's not allowed to touch the stove but doesn't touch the stove on a regular basis anyway.

I get that sleeping in can be simply a luxury, but for most of us, sleeping past 4 am in not a luxury, it is a physiological need that can be dangerous to deny and of certainty will be detrimental to our health to deny.

ITA with the baby monitor idea, maybe door buzzer accompanied by rules about staying in the bedroom until mama is up-then when they can't stop themselves from leaving the room the door buzzer wakes you up.


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## edamommy (Apr 6, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tie-dyed* 
Allowing a four year old to spend his mornings unsupervised is a risk. Going through life sleep deprived is a greater risk imho. Regularly denying oneself sleep can lead to falling asleep at the wheel, short attention span and distraction in the kitchen and other dangerous place, irritability, health problems. I don't have a link, but I remember a study that demonstrated that sleep deprivation causes normal adults to repond physiologically like very old people. Mental state can mirror the progress of dementia.

I"m hardly a picture of good sleep health, but to suggest that the OP must get up long before she has had enough sleep is imho wrong-headed. I remember that recently an MDC family lost two children in an auto accident to parental sleep deprivation. An adult who uses the stove regularly is far more likely to leave the gas on when unable to function well due to sleep deprivation than a child who might forget that he's not allowed to touch the stove but doesn't touch the stove on a regular basis anyway.

I get that sleeping in can be simply a luxury, but for most of us, sleeping past 4 am in not a luxury, it is a physiological need that can be dangerous to deny and of certainty will be detrimental to our health to deny.

ITA with the baby monitor idea, maybe door buzzer accompanied by rules about staying in the bedroom until mama is up-then when they can't stop themselves from leaving the room the door buzzer wakes you up.

just so you know. I'm an insomniac. I survive on minimal sleep. when ds was an infant we would go DAYS w/o sleep. Sleep is indeed a luxury for me and I cannot imagine when I'll have enough again (maybe when he's 8??). Yes,its also necassary... but to think one wouldn't get up when the kids are up because one "needs more sleep"... ??? confusing! I mean... was she on a 3 night bender? Had she not slept more than 2 hrs? But, parenting isn't a luxury at all. It's a full-time job. but I digress... One thing I do know is that my ds (I'm at work and doig a zillion things at once... so I cannot remember how many kids and what their ages were of op) who will be 4 in March, would have to have completely lost his mind to pull off a stunt like that disaster as he knows that would be SUPER DUPER WRONG... I mean COME ON?!

I cannot even imagine an appropriate "punishment" or "lesson" for this situation because HONESTLY I cannot imagine it happening!


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## townmouse (May 3, 2004)

I wouldn't sleep while kids that little were awake, but I have no judgment on the OP. I had 3 boys under 3 years old once and I know tired.

Practically speaking, though. I think you should rest in the same room where they are awake.

When DH left for work in the wee hours, I'd get up and go in the boys room. I'd pull one boy's bed across the doorway and climb in with him to sleep a couple more hours, and then if they got up they'd have to climb over me so I'd know they were awake and get up.

I also used a couch across the doorway of the big living room. Set them up with toys, sippie cups, sometimes a movie, and crashed on the couch. Again, they'd have to climb over me to leave the "safety zone".

I can't sleep with a toddler awake. He could get in huge trouble in the bathroom, the kitchen, the garage, or leaving the house and walking down the road.


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## Magella (Apr 5, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *UUMom* 
My thoughts are centered around not putting the blame on soley on the children. They couldn't help themselves, and now they are cleaning it up. Case closed.

I don't think they should be 'punished' any more than I think you should get a visit from CPS.

What's done is done and now you know what they are capable of if you sleep past 4 am.







: You absolutely have all my sympathies! This parenting gig is tought and I suck when sleep deprived. I cry. It's not good, I am not pretty. 6am is an ungodly hour to get up, and I hate it. Hence, my experience in this area of children getting away from us.







:









:

It's not really helpful to place *blame* on anyone. The kids are so young that although they may "know" better, they don't always have the impulse control or the judgment to do what they "know" is "right" over what they desire to do. I disagree that the fact that they kept going back to get more is evidence that this had nothing to do with impulse control. I think they were likely caught up in the fun of the moment, and so were indeed following their impulses. I don't think mom is to be *blamed* either, she had a need for rest and normally lingering in bed is not a problem for her family. Something unpleasant and unexpected happened, and now you can make a plan to prevent it from happening again. No need to *blame* anyone, no need to punish anyone. Only learn from it, everyone. And laugh about it sometime in the future.


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## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

Maybe you could get one of those baby monitors with video capacity.

Also some more cupboard locks.


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## True Blue (May 9, 2003)

Sadly, the older one knows how to do cupboard locks LOL!!! Put up a gate and he will scale it!! Did I ever mention he's spirited? However, I cound my blessings every day that spiritedness seems to lessen over the generations...my DH, now, THERE was a spirited child...you wouldn't even believe some of things he did. (like call in a bomb threat at 6, set a bush on fire, try to "breathe" fire -- which may be how the bush caught on fire, I don't remember, as a teen put vodka in his milk at the dinner table...)

Obviously I will be very tired again. There will be no more leaving the bedroom in the morning, they will have to hang out in my room again like they used to.


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## asherah (Nov 25, 2001)

Oh me oh my.
That is quite an amazing photograph.
I can't even imagine how I'd react if I woke up and saw that.

Amazing.
That WILL be a great memory someday. Not today, though!


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## chfriend (Aug 29, 2002)

True Blue, you might have already covered this in another thread, but is there anyway you could go to sleep earlier at night? Or have someone watch them in the afternoons so you can grab a nap?

Being sleep deprived is the pits. Unsupervised kiddos wrecking the house is the pits. Neither seems like a great answer.

I read Sleepless in America....it really helped me understand how I could encourage my kids to sleep by lowering my level of tension. Maybe give that book a look?


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## ~*~MamaJava~*~ (Mar 7, 2004)

Oh, man.

I almost cried looking at that picture, I would have collapsed in a heap as my first reaction.

Eeeek.

Yeah, it will be funny later...but...

Um, I let my 3.5 year old get up without me many mornings. Usually it's about 20 minutes of TV time, and the only thing he's ever done was eat all the icecream in the fridge









I never considered that kind of thing happening...I don't blame you. I guess you can't totally blame the kids either but my 3.5y/o knows that sort of mess is totally not allowed. I don't let them go totally nuts like that even with toys - they can make a mess, but not a giant mess. I can't live like that. And they always clean up their toys with me, so that would be the deal in this case as well. Can't do much more because you probably never told them NOT to throw flour in the livingroom







..I would have serious chit chat though.

And yes, lock the cupboard, or Tupperware everything (my kids can't open that stuff yet







).


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## Leilalu (May 29, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thismama* 
OMG. I would be pissed. So pissed. I have no helpful suggestions really. But I think it's fine to let them know you are pissed, and make them at least help clean it up. I personally wouldn't let mine do a single fun thing until the mess was fixed. And I wouldn't feel a bit bad for sleeping - sometimes you gotta sleep, and if they know better, it's not your fault at all IMO.

I would get locks for the cupboard in future.











What I do for large messes for no apparent reason is: Give them a choice to either help or sit on the couch while I do it. Meaning no toys,no playing, just sitting there watching(my kids don't like sitting still)
After a few minutes, if they pick the sitting out part-they usually feel bad and help.
But the logical side for me is that I need to clean it up. They can sit out if they don't want to help because I don't want them making MORE messes whiel I clean this one up,YK? So for me, the logical side is that they need some kind of timeout to think about it for their own sake when momma is mad and having to clean.

But I could not have let my kids be awake without me. I would also get locks. One time I was on here and not even for 2 minutes-ds dumped a NEW bag of organic coffee, ground for espresso. I'm all-why does it smell like coffee in here-I turn around and he is playing in it. I wish you could've seen his face-sheer enjoyment. Head to toe-COVERED.


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## frenchie (Mar 21, 2006)

WOW!!! I have tot locks on my cupboard doors...and the food is in top cupboards anyhow. The only thing he'd be able to get to is the fridge food. Even then, he just doesn't go there. I'm stern with him about opening the fridge without our assistance at this age (he's almost 4).
I don't have any advice for you for the here and now...but I'd consider something like the tot lock or some sort of latch to deter them from opening the cupboards in the future. It's a safety issue IMO....and in this case, and economical one. I'd be bawling at the thought of losing $100 worth of food in a matter of minutes.


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## chaoticzenmom (May 21, 2005)

Holy moly! What a picture! I'd be furious, but since it's not my house...my kids, I laughed pretty hard at that picture.

If I get angry at my kids today, I'll think about that picture and realize that it's ok. If I can laugh at your situation, I can surely find some humor in any of mine...right?

Save that picture!!! You'll want to use it against them someday









My advice....if you want it is to put the kids favorite cartoon channel on the t.v. every night before bed and teach the 4 year old to turn on the t.v. and watch it quietly if she wakes up before you do. I did that when my son was about 4 and it really helped.

Thanks for sharing with us.
Lisa


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## True Blue (May 9, 2003)

DS has been able to push a chair to the counter to get things high since he was 2...DD even sooner by watching him....the cabinet the food is in can't have tot locks installed...I'd have to rearrange my entire kitchen...they can open anything anyway if they really want to!!

Still cleaning here...let the kids off the hook though since I'm in the nitty-gritty now...but they spent a couple of hours on it!! Sadly a movie is in order now bc if I don't occupy them with something quiet and non-messy I can't get ahead here....


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## True Blue (May 9, 2003)

Quote:

My advice....if you want it is to put the kids favorite cartoon channel on the t.v. every night before bed and teach the 4 year old to turn on the t.v. and watch it quietly if she wakes up before you do. I did that when my son was about 4 and it really helped.
We do that!







Oh well. Things will happen sometimes, you know? Can't prevent _everything_...


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## nichole (Feb 9, 2004)

babyproof your bedroom. get a childproof lock. have snacks like dry cereal and water available. put some books, leap pad, video, etc for them to do while you snooze. make a rule we stay in the bedroom from 11pm until 7am or whatever you think is reasonable. get dh or a babysitter to help occasionally.


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## riverscout (Dec 22, 2006)

I have no advice because my dd is only 14 months old so I know very little about discipline yet, but I just had to say after seeing that picture...HOLY COW!







:







:



































If I lived closer to you, I'd come help you clean. I'm sorry you had wake up to that this morning.


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## chaoticzenmom (May 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nichole* 
babyproof your bedroom. get a childproof lock. have snacks like dry cereal and water available. put some books, leap pad, video, etc for them to do while you snooze. make a rule we stay in the bedroom from 11pm until 7am or whatever you think is reasonable. get dh or a babysitter to help occasionally.

Um, I think there was obviously dry cereal available







Sorry, couldn't resist.


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## PumpkinSeeds (Dec 19, 2001)

I let my 5 yo look at that picture and I asked, "what do you think happened?"

He said, "Those kids(pointing to the legs on the couch) were hungry."


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## MPJJJ (Oct 24, 2003)

I sleep in a lot, and what I do is I have a latch on the very top of my bedroom door, and my children are locked inside with me. They sit at the end of the bed and watch cartoons while I nap. Its the best way for them to be distracted and enjoy sleeping in, and I can nap knowing that my children are safely confined with me. Sometimes you HAVE to sleep, needing to nap doesnt make you a bad Mommy. But you would benefit by having them locked in with you.


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## ledzepplon (Jun 28, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chfriend* 
With my kids it wouldn't have been safe for me to be sleeping while they were awake at 4 and 2.

Me, too. They are far too curious at that age. I would have them help clean it up, and make sure they're better supervised next time. (I'm no blaming you for ttrying to catch a little much-needed shut-eye, just saying that's how kids are at this age.)


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

OMG!!!!

I admit, I am laughing a little bit. But..

OMG!!

I think this would be justifiable homicide. (still trying not to laugh here..)

I have no idea what you should do... I really don't. But, I am truly sorry this happened. That is just unbelievable.

Call a carpet cleaner?


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gaialice* 
Wow! Well, I agree with all sledge said + a natural consequence here would be that not every item is replaced straight away. I mean, I'm not saying that they should go without food, but then for a few days there will be fewer breakfast choices. Not in a punitive way. But then I would not go out of my way to replace every item within the day either. Like for felter pens, often leaving them uncapped will mean that they dry out, and while I try to help them remember, sometimes I forget myself and it does happen that we find that quite a few colours are gone, and I will buy another box of course but not straight away this minute.

This is how I would handle it too.

I truly don't think they will do this twice.

And Just THINK of the fun you get to have when they start dating!!!!! The best way to get back at them, is to secretly show their own kids these pictures and subtly suggest it looks like "fun!". Then when they call you in disbelief that their own kids just created a disaster, you can cackle loudly into the phone.

Bwahahahahahahaha!!!!


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## heartmama (Nov 27, 2001)

Quote:

I can only tell you what I imagine I would do. First, I'd remind myself that my kids weren't trying to be malicious, but were having fun--and what a sensory experience that must have been! They are little, and really don't think about consequences like we adults do, and can't control their impulses like we adults do. Second, I'd talk to my kids, tell them how I feel about that mess and the wasted food, and tell them we need to make sure that doesn't happen again. Third, we'd clean up together. I think this is really the only natural consequence aside from my obvious disapproval/unhappiness. Finally, I'd make a plan as to how to avoid that ever happening again--putting items like that where they can't be reached, giving them time to play with such items while supervised (and in the kitchen or outside), making sure that either I am not asleep while they are up or that they have things to occupy them while I sleep that are not so messy (and possibly containing them in a safe area while I sleep, with a gate), or whatever other solution I could come up with. I'd likely involve the children in coming up with a solution to prevent that from happening again, asking them for ideas. This is the same process I've used when any of my children have done their toddler thing of pouring out cereal/other single item onto the floor-and while simply pouring out cereal or anther single item is obviously on a much smaller scale, I think it's basically the same issue. This has worked for us, I've never had a child repeat dumping, though I am wary of taking credit for that (perhaps they just got it out of their systems in that one episode). I think a process like this is much more likely to teach them what I want them to learn than coming up with other consequences would be, though I too would feel the urge to come up with a list of unpleasant consequences. That is just what I would do.
wonderful post!


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *True Blue* 
They are cleaning it up. Yeah, there was lots of yelling but when I really got mad I left the room...lol. Part of me, honestly, wanted to laugh...it was like something out of a sitcom. They are using spoons and buckets and bowls to shovel it all up.

FWIW, DS has always been an early riser and has gotten up without me for ages. He turns on the tv and I get a little more much needed z's. DH gets up soon after him to get ready for work, then leaves at about 6:30. THere have been messes before, yes, but this is above and beyond any acceptable range. At almost 5, my DS KNOWS this is wrong.

We normally get to go to playgroup this morning, but they are not going anywhere, watching any tv, playing on the computer, playing in general, eating any sweets, NOTHING until the room is clean. Obviously, my little DD has less responsibility in this than he does, but I'm getting her to clean too. Sure it would be faster if I did it...but what kind of impression would that leave? So they are doing it themselves with some direction from me. DS can vaccuum once he digs up enough inches of flour to do so. Of course, I will have to clean deeper when they are done, but I see no reason why they can't do the bulk of it. A lesson has to be learned here somewhere.

When I said there was nothing for me to eat for breakfast, they thought I should just go to the store and buy more. So of course no concept of money and cost, etc. Which is understandable at this age. I'm so mad though that I am considering making them pick a couple of toys to ebay to pay for the food...is that too much do you think? Is taking responsibility and cleaning enough? I just feel that they really need to understand what a big deal this all is.

I think that losing out on playgroup because there's a huge mess to clean up is a logical consequence. Making them clean up as much as possible is also logical. Listening to mama scream and cry when she first saw the mess is also part of the logical consequence!

IMO, I wouldn't sell their toys on eBay to pay for the food unless I really couldn't afford to replace it. I wouldn't rush out to the supermarket either- you can't go out food shopping until this mess is cleaned up, and then you'll be too tired to go shopping today!


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## a-sorta-fairytale (Mar 29, 2005)

OMG! I am trying to keep dd from seeing the pic while i laugh...she would be one to get ideas about such a thing. I cannot imagine waking up to somethig like that!
My dd is almost 3 and there is no way i can sleep while she is awake. I remember once being soooo tired that i locked us in my room with an elmo video, a bowl of shredded cheese and a sippy cup of water. Then i crashed. Sleep deprivation sucks!

Just the other day i was IN THE SAME ROOM with her. I was sewing and she was playing behind me. I smell this aweful strong dirty sweaty feet smell. I say out loud "girl you need a bath!" It came on so suddenly though. I turn around and she is standing in one of those huge plastic storage containers naked...with parmesan cheese all on the inside! She had taken the old container from the trash (a gross one that had come with the pizza last night - very nasty stinky cheese) and opened it and poured it into the bucket with her. I asked her why and she said "because i have to mom. Sorry"








: I remember doing some really stupid things even as an older kid and thinking at the time "wow this is really stupid" then doing it anyway.


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## purplegirl (Apr 5, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *asherah* 
Oh me oh my.
That is quite an amazing photograph.
I can't even imagine how I'd react if I woke up and saw that.

Amazing.
That WILL be a great memory someday. Not today, though!

I was thinking the same thing!


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## True Blue (May 9, 2003)

Quote:

I let my 5 yo look at that picture and I asked, "what do you think happened?"

He said, "Those kids(pointing to the legs on the couch) were hungry."
Funny thing is, when I asked DS why he did it, he said he was "hungry and thought it would taste good."







I assume he's talking about mixing all that food together? Then he said, "maybe next time we should use pots." Ummmm...no actually you just shouldn't be using our food like that LOL.


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## chinaKat (Aug 6, 2005)

HOLY CRAP!!!!

That picture is worth a thousand words!!!

Some of you mamas are way nicer than I am... I am generally pretty gentle but I would have FLIPPED OUT if DD did that. I can't imagine I wouldn't have yelled at her in a pretty big way. I would have felt terrible about that later, but she would have heard my wrath, if you know what I mean!!! What a mess!

Anyway... to the OP, don't let everybody beat you up for the kids being on their own in the living room. I let DD (2.5) watch TV unsupervised all the time, while I take a shower. And I have no locks on any of the food cabinets. She just is not the type of kid to get into things... I can ask her to stay in the living room while I shower, and she does. I would be shocked beyond belief if she were to do something like this. Much like you were, I imagine!!!!!

Did you ask them what gave them the idea? I'm curious what prompted the dump fest...


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## nichole (Feb 9, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MPJJJ* 
I sleep in a lot, and what I do is I have a latch on the very top of my bedroom door, and my children are locked inside with me. They sit at the end of the bed and watch cartoons while I nap. Its the best way for them to be distracted and enjoy sleeping in, and I can nap knowing that my children are safely confined with me. Sometimes you HAVE to sleep, needing to nap doesnt make you a bad Mommy. But you would benefit by having them locked in with you.

yes this is what i meant


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## earthmama369 (Jul 29, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *edamommy* 
If this happend at my house (which it wouldn't unless a rabid squirrel was set free w/ us being duct taped up...) the FIRST thing to happen would be a lesson on every swear word I've learned being a fisherman's daughter. Then I would do a priamal scream in the middle of the room while glaring at the little demons (how many of them were there? 29?). And then I would have to go call someone (my mother, my dh, grandmother??) to come and remove the children from my sight while I cleaned and scrubbed (well, my ds is 3 1/2... so his "helping" would be way more annoying then him going away) the mess and went out to rob a bank to replace the food.







:


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## frenchie (Mar 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *True Blue* 
Sadly, the older one knows how to do cupboard locks LOL!!!


Quote:


Originally Posted by *True Blue* 
the cabinet the food is in can't have tot locks installed...I'd have to rearrange my entire kitchen...they can open anything anyway if they really want to!!

Can't have them installed because you'd have to rearrange your kitchen? So what? We do these sort of things to make our child's home environment more child friendly. In order to get through a "tot lock" without the "key" one would literally have to *rip* the cupboard door from the hinges. Keep the key out of reach or hidden and they won't get into the cupboards...it really is that simple.
Another way to avoid this mishap in the future, is get out of bed when DH leaves for work.


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## mmace (Feb 12, 2002)

Wow. Just...Just....WOW! I would have definitely cried when I saw that. Many, many, many hugs to you, sweetie....

Any chance the doggie thinks a flour/cereal/whatever else combo is yummy?


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## FoxintheSnow (May 11, 2004)

Holy crap I think I might have exploded. I consider myself a patient person, but I think that might have put me over the edge. Hopefully you can look back in a few years and laugh. Good luck!


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *edamommy* 
just so you know. I'm an insomniac. I survive on minimal sleep. when ds was an infant we would go DAYS w/o sleep. Sleep is indeed a luxury for me and I cannot imagine when I'll have enough again (maybe when he's 8??). Yes,its also necassary... but to think one wouldn't get up when the kids are up because one "needs more sleep"... ??? !

Way, way too harsh a response. I do believe that this board is a support board. I cannot survive on that little sleep, so please don't judge others by what you can do. If I go DAYS without sleep, I become seriously (as in clinically) depressed and anxious. The last time that happened, I ended up in the ER. So, if it was a choice of snoozing while the kids were watching TV in another room, the house locked, with a 2 and 5 year old? Yes, I would choose that over hospitialization, thank you very much.

Personally, I think the OP was magnificant in her response. The kids learned a lesson, they missed a playgroup because of cleaning up, they had to help clean up, and mom is thinking about how to do things differently.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

I've only read part of the thread, so I don't know if this has been addressed.

Several people have said that the OP shouldn't be sleeping when her kids are awake. How, exactly, does one ensure that that doesn't happen? I used to get up with ds1 every morning. But, I can remember at least two occasions when I got up and went to check on him in his room, only to find him on the couch in the living room watching tv. He got up, I didn't hear him (being a sound sleeper, when I sleep), and he went into the living room, instead of into my room.

This doesn't really apply to the OP, as she said she was "dozing" and could hear bags rustling. But, I don't understand why people treat being overtired as a moral failing...or why it's just assumed that a sleeping adult will always know that a child has woken up. Needing to sleep doesn't make someone a bad parent...but not getting enough sleep might do so.

(FWIW, I averaged about 20 hours of sleep per week for the last couple of years I was with my ex. I was totally sleep deprived. My physical health suffered for it - months of serious illness, including fevers and infections. My mental health suffered for it - I became seriously depressed, and was suicidal for over a year. My family suffered for it - I had no patience, no energy and no ability to cope with the day-to-day trials of having children in the house - such as spills. I once sat on the floor crying for 10 minutes because I dropped a wooden spoon. Exhaustion is real. Asserting that people are somehow being delinquent in their parenting duties when they _cannot_ function anymore is just mean, and accomplishes nothing.)


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## georgia (Jan 12, 2003)

Oh, the wasted food! The mess! The energy and time it's going to take to clean it all up....I can totally empathize. I will admit to laughing when I saw those sweet little legs standing on the sofa---I'm only imagining they had been quite excited by their handywork for a time









If it helps you feel any better--when dd was a newborn, I was sitting down nursing her in another room. The boys (then almost five and 22 months) got a hold of an old *full* container of green food coloring that I think I'd used to put drops in their baths for a time...anyway, ds1 comes running in to show me---"Look, Mommy, Shrek!" I was like, uh??? Two GREEN children from hair to feet. When I walked in the bathroom where'd they'd been, I couldn't help but gasp and then crack up. It turned out they had dyed the entire white bathroom green. It stained their skin, hair, tile grout, the woodwork, the walls, the tub...







: It was either laugh or start crying and prob. not stop! It was very overwhelming. Each time I cleaned the bathroom (not all that often







) I had a reminder of that day. Ah, joy. But we really do laugh about it now, and ds2 doesn't believe he would ever do something like that









Sending you many supportive hugs---you deserve to never have to sweep cereal again, _ever_


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *a-sorta-fairytale* 
OMG! I am trying to keep dd from seeing the pic while i laugh...she would be one to get ideas about such a thing. I cannot imagine waking up to somethig like that!

Ooops. I didn't think of that, and dd has already seen the picture...


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## ~member~ (May 23, 2002)

It is sad to read that so many moms would 'lose it'.
True Blue, sounds like you are doing your best.

FWIW- I was awake when my kids broke all the eggs in our bed and on each other. When they get an idea in their heads, they are fast. And, no, they don't always ask an adult first if their idea is safe or okay.


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## a-sorta-fairytale (Mar 29, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
Ooops. I didn't think of that, and dd has already seen the picture...


Hide the flour!


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## PatchyMama (Dec 6, 2002)

That looks like quite a bit of work and I probably would have lost my mind and had to have taken a walk to my bathroom to breathe, LOL.

But I agree with others that it would be unfair to punish them for this when ideally they should be supervised. That said, I am NOT saying you shouldn't sleep in ( I have done it with mine when i know the baby is with me but the older one isnt), but if that is the option you choose be prepared to be a bit more understanding with them. I think them helping you clean up until it was finished (even if it meant missing playgroup) was a perfect natural consequence. Other than that I would have a talk with them about wasting food. Then I would try to get things a bit more childproofed so there is less they can hurt themselves or mess they can make. Gates? Cabinet locks - those magnetic ones are neat and work well.

My 5 year old often gets up a bit before me and makes her own breakfast, etc... but she is 5 going on 6 and is just now starting to understand what things are dangerous and when she needs to ask for help. I think I would be more worried about the 2 year old, but maybe that is because I know I couldn't trust mine alone, LOL. She often climbs into the sink just to play in water and if I am not there will slip and fall.

I used to pull toys into our bedroom and just lock our bedroom door so that all the kids were in there with me (we coslept anyway). That way if they got up before me, they were contained in our room but still had toys to entertain themselves.


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## alaska (Jun 12, 2004)

I often lurk in this forum - so many great ideas! - but I just had to post after I saw that picture. That's got to be one of the most spectacular messes I've ever seen!








(And fwiw, I that you handled the situation extremely well.)


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## starry_mama (May 26, 2006)

My almost 3 year old used to get up REALLY early in the morning and sneak out of bed and do things like that.







We ended up having to buy a lock and locking ourselves in our bedroom (we all co-sleep) at night so he couldn't escape in the morning. We're not rolling in money, so seeing all of that food get wasted stinks, I know.


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## MPJJJ (Oct 24, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LynnS6* 
Way, way too harsh a response. I do believe that this board is a support board. I cannot survive on that little sleep, so please don't judge others by what you can do. If I go DAYS without sleep, I become seriously (as in clinically) depressed and anxious. The last time that happened, I ended up in the ER. So, if it was a choice of snoozing while the kids were watching TV in another room, the house locked, with a 2 and 5 year old? Yes, I would choose that over hospitialization, thank you very much.

Personally, I think the OP was magnificant in her response. The kids learned a lesson, they missed a playgroup because of cleaning up, they had to help clean up, and mom is thinking about how to do things differently.

I agree that this is WAY too harsh. Great that you can be a very nice person on very little sleep. Good for you! I can't. I NEED sleep to be a nice person. Without sleep comes headaches and general crankiness that my children don't deserve! I need sleep to be a nice mommy, and my children need a nice mommy, therefore we all NEED me to sleep.

I think that this mommy needs constructive ideas on how to safely get more sleep, not a lecture.


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## chfriend (Aug 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
I've only read part of the thread, so I don't know if this has been addressed.

Several people have said that the OP shouldn't be sleeping when her kids are awake. How, exactly, does one ensure that that doesn't happen? I used to get up with ds1 every morning. But, I can remember at least two occasions when I got up and went to check on him in his room, only to find him on the couch in the living room watching tv. He got up, I didn't hear him (being a sound sleeper, when I sleep), and he went into the living room, instead of into my room.

This doesn't really apply to the OP, as she said she was "dozing" and could hear bags rustling. But, I don't understand why people treat being overtired as a moral failing...or why it's just assumed that a sleeping adult will always know that a child has woken up. Needing to sleep doesn't make someone a bad parent...but not getting enough sleep might do so.

(FWIW, I averaged about 20 hours of sleep per week for the last couple of years I was with my ex. I was totally sleep deprived. My physical health suffered for it - months of serious illness, including fevers and infections. My mental health suffered for it - I became seriously depressed, and was suicidal for over a year. My family suffered for it - I had no patience, no energy and no ability to cope with the day-to-day trials of having children in the house - such as spills. I once sat on the floor crying for 10 minutes because I dropped a wooden spoon. Exhaustion is real. Asserting that people are somehow being delinquent in their parenting duties when they _cannot_ function anymore is just mean, and accomplishes nothing.)

Keep reading. People are brainstorming their hearts out to think of way OP can get the sleep she needs and her children can have the supervision they need.

No one has suggested that she just walk around exhausted and suck it up.


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## SugarAndSun (Feb 6, 2005)

I didn't read the whole thread, but wanted to offer some advice...

DH and I sometimes stay in bed for a little while after ds gets up. We aren't sleeping, but relaxing or whatever. We close the gate that leads to downstairs and lock the bathroom door. We can still hear him and he only has access to his playroom and our bedroom. Could you have some kind of setup like that?


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chfriend* 
Keep reading. People are brainstorming their hearts out to think of way OP can get the sleep she needs and her children can have the supervision they need.

No one has suggested that she just walk around exhausted and suck it up.

I've finished the thread now.

The only suggestion I've seen that addresses the _general_ issue of kids waking up before their parents is the idea of locking the kids into the parent's room.

Either you need a hook & eye type lock, or a doorknob lock. In our house, dh leaves way before the rest of us (including the kids) get up. If we used a hook & eye, he'd have to open it to leave, and then it would be unlocked. If we used a doorknob lock, dd could open it, unless it had a key. That means trusting that the key won't go missing, and leave us trapped in the bedroom.

I'm sure we're not the only family where dh leaves before everyone else gets up. So - how does someone make sure the door stays locked?

(In our case, dd isn't even in our room, which we could change, but won't. She sleeps _much_ better without the rest of us in the room.)

It's not so much the specific case in this thread that bugs me. It's this "if you're tired, suck it up - that's part of being a parent" vibe that I've seen on here a few times lately. Anytime a parent is asleep when they "shouldn't be", the reaction from some people seems...weird. Being over-tired isn't the same thing as getting drunk or high - people can't help needing sleep. Sure - being tired is part of being a parent, but that seems to be carried over into the mindset that we should just ignore exhaustion or something...


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## FoxintheSnow (May 11, 2004)

I think everyone's bodies are different and different people can function on different amounts of sleep. Like I can survive on just a few hours of sleep and dh needs at least 6. I dont think it has anything to do with laziness, our bodies are just different.


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## chfriend (Aug 29, 2002)

I suggested naps for OP with supervision for the kiddos, an earlier bedtime for OP and reading Sleepless in America so OP can share a wonderful rested morning with her 2 and 4 year olds.


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## chinaKat (Aug 6, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MamaInTheBoonies* 







It is sad to read that so many moms would 'lose it'.

No, it's an honest response.

I'm sorry but I don't believe that most humans are capable of stifling their emotions entirely. I also don't think it's particularly harmful for a child to see her mother really angry ONCE IN A WHILE. People have emotions, and it's healthy to release them. It's OK to get angry, it's a totally valid emotion to have.

I'm not advocating screaming at a child, belittling them, or shaming them. But I don't think there's a darn thing wrong with expressing a strong, negative reaction to something as extreme like this. It's totally normal.

In fact, I think it would be unhealthy for many people in this situation to stuff a reaction down inside and simply say calmly "oh, would you look at that." This *was* a big deal. And while there may be some extremely laid back people that wouldn't be fazed by such an event, MOST folks will have a strong reaction.

That's human nature. And it's not bad parenting.


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
It's not so much the specific case in this thread that bugs me. It's this "if you're tired, suck it up - that's part of being a parent" vibe that I've seen on here a few times lately. Anytime a parent is asleep when they "shouldn't be", the reaction from some people seems...weird. Being over-tired isn't the same thing as getting drunk or high - people can't help needing sleep. Sure - being tired is part of being a parent, but that seems to be carried over into the mindset that we should just ignore exhaustion or something...


I agree. Sleep is a basic need.

Besides, this happens to every parent. Maybe not quite so dramatic. But, it does happen. My daughter learned to use scissors when she was two. So, she got up early and cut EVERYFLIPPIN thing that fit in her scissors. I was still finding scissor damage six months later.

This will be the topic of many family gatherings to come. It WILL be funny someday. Maybe even soon.


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## HappyNewMama (Jul 12, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *a-sorta-fairytale* 
OMG!
I asked her why and she said "because i have to mom. Sorry"







:

That's hilarious!!!


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## vbactivist (Oct 4, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 

Several people have said that the OP shouldn't be sleeping when her kids are awake. How, exactly, does one ensure that that doesn't happen? .)

Co sleep....


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## sugarbeth (Apr 24, 2002)

My two-year-old likes to make messes too - but none as spectacular as that!







It's amazing how fast they can be. He threw about 8 eggs down the stairs while I put in a load of laundry. Lately he likes to siphon out the fish tank - it only takes a couple of minutes to get a few gallons all over the floor. Never had any such problems with my daughter - just my crazy, busy little boy. We seriously can't leave him alone for more than 30 seconds - he is THAT fast with the mayhem.

So yeah, we have lots and lots of locks in our house. And there's still more that we need to put on since he now climbs to get the unlocked ones higher up.

I think our kids will be excellent problem solvers, though!


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## FoxintheSnow (May 11, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MamaInTheBoonies* 







It is sad to read that so many moms would 'lose it'.

When I said I would explode I didn't mean I would like beat my kids or something if that's how you're taking it. I meant I would sit in a corner and cry or something because that is going to be A LOT of work to clean up and her sofas couldve been ruined. I understand that kids like to have fun and experiment and all that, but they also need to learn to respect other people's belongings don't you think?


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## mackysmama (Jan 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *vbactivist* 
Co sleep....

I'm glad this works for you. Someone is always awake with my children because my partner doesn't leave for work until I'm up. But, there have been many, many times that my co-sleeping son (4.5) wakes up but my daughter is still sleeping and needs me there in order to keep sleeping (or vice versa). But, if my son stayed in the room, he would wake my dd. My point is, co-sleeping may work very well for you to keep your child(ren) supervised but everyone's situation and family is different. Please consider that things may be different than you experience before posting such a limited response.


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## octobermom (Aug 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *vbactivist* 
Co sleep....

Not every one does this or has kids that will. DD coslept with us untill around 2 years and then declared her own space now even if she falls asleep with us she will wake and go into her own room she will not colseep. None of the doors lock around here anyways and cause its a rental we can't add any. She and DH are early risers I'm not. DH also likes going for early walks so he'll wake her up (with his noise) and then leave. When she was younger I'd go downstairs turn on Dora and kinda semi sleep while she played. Depending on her morning mood I do the same now. She wont get anything from the kitchen with out permisssion (just how she is) though so I don't really worry too much though any noise will get me checking.


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## guestmama9915 (Jul 29, 2004)

Haha, too funny. I know, not really... but it reminds me of my aunt's picture of her triplets, they were covered head to toe in Desitin one day.

The judgment in this thread is sad.


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## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Keja* 
Haha, too funny. I know, not really... but it reminds me of my aunt's picture of her triplets, they were covered head to toe in Desitin one day.

At least they wouldn't get sunburned!


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *vbactivist* 
Co sleep....

I've coslept with all of my kids. When I'm really, really tired, I can sleep right through one of them getting out of bed.


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## True Blue (May 9, 2003)

Tot locks just plain can't be installed on the cabinets where the food is. Do I think they'd solve the problem anyways? Nope. For 2 reasons...one, DS would find the key, or we would not remember to put it somewhere "safe" every night....two, we would likely lose said key altogether and be starving in the morning!!!

Thanks for all the help and suggestions here...most have been understanding and helpful. And yeah it IS funny...and it will be even funnier once I'm done getting the couch covers done in the wash and scrubbing any more residue out of the carpet (there were a couple wet spots that now have "dough" stuck in them







).

Oh...in case anyone was wondering...I now I have proof that the Dyson DOES lose suction.







I guess they didn't plan for someone to vacuum up about 15lbs of flour in one morning!!!!


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## vbactivist (Oct 4, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mackysmama* 
I'm glad this works for you. Someone is always awake with my children because my partner doesn't leave for work until I'm up. But, there have been many, many times that my co-sleeping son (4.5) wakes up but my daughter is still sleeping and needs me there in order to keep sleeping (or vice versa). But, if my son stayed in the room, he would wake my dd. My point is, co-sleeping may work very well for you to keep your child(ren) supervised but everyone's situation and family is different. Please consider that things may be different than you experience before posting such a limited response.

She asked for ideas...I offered mine. Please consider that things may be different than you experience before posting such a limited response.


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## FoxintheSnow (May 11, 2004)

Oh no I hope your vacuum isn't ruined!


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## True Blue (May 9, 2003)

Luckily it comes apart and cleans very easily!!


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## chfriend (Aug 29, 2002)

Glad your day is looking up, True Blue.


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## purplegirl (Apr 5, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *True Blue* 
Luckily it comes apart and cleans very easily!!









True, you are handling this like a champ! That picture makes me







every time I look at it. Those little legs up on the couch just add to the charm of it all!


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## ~member~ (May 23, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jokerama* 
I understand that kids like to have fun and experiment and all that, but they also need to learn to respect other people's belongings don't you think?

Yes, but screaming and swearing at them will not teach them respect for people's belongings. It's bound to create fear and undermine any teachings of self-control, iykwim.









I wasn't talking about the mama's who would cry, but the one's who would scream and swear at their children.


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## FoxintheSnow (May 11, 2004)

When I was viewing the picture on Kodak's site they had a thing at the bottom showing what it would look like on a mug and that just made me laugh really hard. I think you should order that mug!


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jokerama* 
When I was viewing the picture on Kodak's site they had a thing at the bottom showing what it would look like on a mug and that just made me laugh really hard. I think you should order that mug!

That would be hilarious! I can actually see myself enjoying sitting back and sipping my coffee from that cup...after a while.


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## rainyday (Apr 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *True Blue* 

Oh...in case anyone was wondering...I now I have proof that the Dyson DOES lose suction.







I guess they didn't plan for someone to vacuum up about 15lbs of flour in one morning!!!!

True Blue, wash the filter (the sponge-type thing). I clogged ours up once vacuuming flour, and after some calls to customer service, they finally decided the filter needed to be washed. It made a HUGE difference.

And Hugs about the mess, and when you're all done, give them a hug. My ds at least would be freaked out by what he'd done. The good news is, that after talking about how awful this was and so on, they'll probably be a lot more restrained in the morning!


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## georgia (Jan 12, 2003)

Friendly moderator reminder: Please remember the MDC User Agreement at all times when posting to the boards







Particularly the following sections:

Quote:

*MDC serves an online community of parents, families, and parent, child and family advocates considering, learning, practicing, and advocating attachment parenting and natural family living. Our discussions concern the real world of mothering and are first and foremost, for support, information, and community. Mothering invites you to read and participate in the discussions. In doing so we ask that you agree to respect and uphold the integrity of this community. Through your direct or indirect participation here you agree to make a personal effort to maintain a comfortable and respectful atmosphere for our guests and members.*

Quote:

*
Do not post in a disrespectful, defamatory, adversarial, baiting, harassing, offensive, insultingly sarcastic or otherwise improper manner, toward a member or other individual, including casting of suspicion upon a person, invasion of privacy, humiliation, demeaning criticism, name-calling, personal attack, or in any way which violates the law.*

Quote:

*Do not post to a thread to take direct issue with a member. If you feel a member has posted or behaved inappropriately in a discussion, communicate directly with the member, moderator or administrator privately and refrain from potentially defaming discussion in a thread.*
and in addition, please remember the purpose of the forum:

Quote:

*This forum has a specific aim: to help parents learn and apply gentle discipline methods in raising their children.*
Thanks!


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## chinaKat (Aug 6, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MamaInTheBoonies* 
Yes, but screaming and swearing at them will not teach them respect for people's belongings. It's bound to create fear and undermine any teachings of self-control, iykwim.









I wasn't talking about the mama's who would cry, but the one's who would scream and swear at their children.

Yeah, well, I don't think a single, isolated "What the hell is THIS!?!?" is going to send anybody's child into years of therapy.

I mean, seriously. Mamas have emotions, too. And yeah, they might say things they aren't insanely happy about saying later, when they are in the heat of the moment -- the discovery of this huge, horrible, wasteful mess.

But I think it's pretty honest that people are replying that they would be likely to react strongly initially.

This isn't exactly a daily event. It's a HUGE thing that in all likelihood will never happen again. An outraged outburst is completely understandable and normal in this isolated situation.

If you're still ranting and raving twenty minutes later, that's another thing. But a strong, emotional, ANGRY immediate reaction? Did you SEE that picture? I don't think it's fair to judge any mama for having one, or for honestly admitting that she probably would.

We're all fans of GD, here. But we're not saints.


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## Cherie2 (Sep 27, 2006)

One day when mine were 2 and 6 I left them with a friend of the family teen for about 4 hours, when I returned they had managed to break open a beanbag chair with those tiny Styrofoam balls. There were weightless little balls in every corner of my house forever!


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chfriend* 
Keep reading. People are brainstorming their hearts out to think of way OP can get the sleep she needs and her children can have the supervision they need.

No one has suggested that she just walk around exhausted and suck it up.

Exactly. And I posted 4am as a joke...because kids sometimes get ahead of us, no matter what we do.

I think locking the kids in the bedroom w/Mom and some snacks might work. I used to gate off the stairs and close all the bedroom doors but my own when the kids were very small. I could lie down and nurse or doze and the kids were right there. We had those hook locks as well. Ya gotta do what ya gotta do. If that happens again, I would think of jumping out a window. How long is that going to take to clean up...and the $ to replace it all. Crud all around.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cherie2* 
One day when mine were 2 and 6 I left them with a friend of the family teen for about 4 hours, when I returned they had managed to break open a beanbag chair with those tiny Styrofoam balls. There were weightless little balls in every corner of my house forever!

You don't have pictures, do you?


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## True Blue (May 9, 2003)

Oh my....I really just might NEED a *mug* of this moment!!!! It would certainly make every morning, no matter how trying, look like cake in comparison!!!







:


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chinaKat* 
No, it's an honest response.

I'm sorry but I don't believe that most humans are capable of stifling their emotions entirely. I also don't think it's particularly harmful for a child to see her mother really angry ONCE IN A WHILE. People have emotions, and it's healthy to release them. It's OK to get angry, it's a totally valid emotion to have.

I'm not advocating screaming at a child, belittling them, or shaming them. But I don't think there's a darn thing wrong with expressing a strong, negative reaction to something as extreme like this. It's totally normal.

In fact, I think it would be unhealthy for many people in this situation to stuff a reaction down inside and simply say calmly "oh, would you look at that." This *was* a big deal. And while there may be some extremely laid back people that wouldn't be fazed by such an event, MOST folks will have a strong reaction.

That's human nature. And it's not bad parenting.









ITA with this post. This idea that it's 'sad' when mama gets mad is ridiculous IMO. I don't think good parenting = placing kids in a bubble where they never experience our real emotions.


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *vbactivist* 
Co sleep....

I co-sleep. Doesn't prevent this issue in the slightest. In fact, I'm much *more* tired from night nursing my kiddo.


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## vbactivist (Oct 4, 2006)

I was offering my oopiniom...it has solved the problem of my children getting up without me knowing....


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## hypatia (Apr 29, 2002)

Wow, Amy, I'm really sorry that happened to you. I wish I could help you clean it up.

On the other hand, I have to thank you because, for whatever reason, reading your post and looking at the pictures of your living room just did wonders for my mood. Here I have been fretting about my son flicking yogurt all over the kitchen with his spoon and laughing maniacally when I tell him it bothers me, but I now realize that was nothing. I could have had it so much worse.


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## mykidsmom776 (Jan 13, 2007)

I just wanted to pipe in and share that kids do stuff like this sometimes in the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!! When every one should be asleep.

About 4 years ago, my girls (then 4 & 2) learned how to turn on the light in their room... no biggie, since we worked with helping them understand that after night-night time the light stays off until Mom or Dad get up. However, one night I woke up at about 3 am (don't know why) and saw their light on. I walked into the bedroom and found that they had stolen the big can of ground black pepper from the kitchen and spread the entire contents (new can too!) over their beds and their floor! I was, unfortunately, irate and screamed, "What the h***l are you doing??!!!!" (I don't curse either!). Fortunately my husband came in and took care of it in a calm manner.

So, stuff like this happens even when you think you've done everything you can!

I think the OP handled the situation reasonably. (Although I agree that selling the toys on e-bay probably isn't the best thing to do). Even if the kids weren't "supervised" they still should learn that there are consequences to their choices... and that lesson can be taught even while one takes some responsibility for not being in the room with them.

My father once said to me wisely, "I'm not raising kids, I'm raising adults."


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## True Blue (May 9, 2003)

*hypatia*...glad I could brighten your day!







See, I KNEW there had to be something positive to come of this...


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## frenchie (Mar 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chinaKat* 
Yeah, well, I don't think a single, isolated "What the hell is THIS!?!?" is going to send anybody's child into years of therapy.

I mean, seriously. Mamas have emotions, too. And yeah, they might say things they aren't insanely happy about saying later, when they are in the heat of the moment -- the discovery of this huge, horrible, wasteful mess.

But I think it's pretty honest that people are replying that they would be likely to react strongly initially.

This isn't exactly a daily event. It's a HUGE thing that in all likelihood will never happen again. An outraged outburst is completely understandable and normal in this isolated situation.

If you're still ranting and raving twenty minutes later, that's another thing. But a strong, emotional, ANGRY immediate reaction? Did you SEE that picture? I don't think it's fair to judge any mama for having one, or for honestly admitting that she probably would.

We're all fans of GD, here. But we're not saints.

Yes, I've had plenty of these moments! When I fly off the handle so to speak, I always talk to my son about it after I've cooled down. I aknowledge that my behavior was out of control, and WHY it was out of control. I appologize as well. My son is so very compassionate, and will hug me and tell me he loves me. He says "it's OK mommy...I love you".


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## **guest** (Jun 25, 2004)

i read through only half of the thread, then showed the photo to dd, 4.5, and told her this is what some kids did, while their mama slept in.

"oh," she said. "poor children. i bet they were hungry. i bet they wanted their cereal for breakfast. they spilled some."









so i wonder if their motivation has been discussed? has the OP asked them? how did this 'fun' get started? were they trying to feed themselves and made an accidental mess and then kept on going. maybe out of fun / sensory experiences, maybe out of frustration... could be both.

when i had a flu i napped when DD and DS played together. they made a mess. (mind you, not that big, but i have huge bags of flour and cereal in the lower cabinets, and i guess this is just a matter of time







) so i know where the OP is coming from, napping and being too tired to get up. but honestly i can't imagine getting angry at this. frustrated and overwhelmed, yes. but angry?


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## mamaduck (Mar 6, 2002)

Annabanana -- I followed your example, and showed the picture to my kids. The 6 yo. said with awe, _"That is not really funny, Mom. Why are you smiling?"_ The 10 yo. said, "_There is a dog in that picture. That looks like a dog mess. I bet the kids brought the stuff out, and the dog did the rest."_


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## True Blue (May 9, 2003)

Quote:

frustrated and overwhelmed, yes. but angry?
ACtually, I think those words better describe my feelings than anything else! I did ask him why...it's up in the posts somewhere...


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## ~member~ (May 23, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thismama* 







ITA with this post. This idea that it's 'sad' when mama gets mad is ridiculous IMO.

I never said it was 'sad' when a person gets mad. I was talking about swearing and screaming at children.


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## **guest** (Jun 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamaduck* 
Annabanana -- I followed your example, and showed the picture to my kids. The 6 yo. said with awe, _"That is not really funny, Mom. Why are you smiling?"_ The 10 yo. said, "_There is a dog in that picture. That looks like a dog mess. I bet the kids brought the stuff out, and the dog did the rest."_









DD also said 'look, dog's but!'







she didnt' find it funny either, but was trying to figure out why. i showed it to her quite some time after i saw it, so i wasn't smiling anymore


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## **guest** (Jun 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *True Blue* 
ACtually, I think those words better describe my feelings than anything else! I did ask him why...it's up in the posts somewhere...

i would have NO idea where to even start cleaning up...so i can certainly relate









yeah, it is not like i never get angry, but i just don't get angry at messes and stuff like that. fortunately


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## mackysmama (Jan 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
That would be hilarious! I can actually see myself enjoying sitting back and sipping my coffee from that cup...after a while.

Or, buy two of them now and tuck them away for 20 years and give them to the kids when THEY have kids!


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## ledzepplon (Jun 28, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MamaInTheBoonies* 

FWIW- I was awake when my kids broke all the eggs in our bed and on each other. When they get an idea in their heads, they are fast. And, no, they don't always ask an adult first if their idea is safe or okay.

That's certainly true!


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MamaInTheBoonies* 
I never said it was 'sad' when a person gets mad. I was talking about swearing and screaming at children.









Oh okay, sorry I misunderstood. I agree that swearing and screaming would be sad. Although I might want to.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mackysmama* 
Or, buy two of them now and tuck them away for 20 years and give them to the kids when THEY have kids!

Now, that's a great idea. It _almost_ makes me wish my kids would create a spectacular mess...almost...


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## Emmeline II (Feb 16, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *True Blue* 
Sadly, the older one knows how to do cupboard locks LOL!!! .

Get the magnet locks; my SIL has them and _I_ can't get the doors open without the key.


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## Emmeline II (Feb 16, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *True Blue* 
http://www.kodakgallery.com/Slidesho...Uy=775aq3&Ux=0

I'd buy a couple of the mugs offered by the gallery to remember this by







.

OK, I see that I'm not the first to mention this.


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## a-sorta-fairytale (Mar 29, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HappyNewMama* 
That's hilarious!!!









I even laughed at that one. The room STILL has a cheesy odor too!


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## a-sorta-fairytale (Mar 29, 2005)

And for anyone who thinks older kids wouldnt do this...

I was babysitting 3 kids full time during the summer when i was 11. My dad or stepmom was there MOST of the time but not always and they didnt help me AT ALL.

I was very smart, pretty level headed and responsible.

But one day my parents left and it was hot and the kids were acting up. So i made a whole bunch of red jello and took it outside and we all had a jello fight.







Then i let the dogs eat up the mess. When my parents questioned me about it i said "I had them do it outside so as not to mess up the house.
BRILLIANT idea at the time.


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## Cherie2 (Sep 27, 2006)

Originally Posted by Cherie2
One day when mine were 2 and 6 I left them with a friend of the family teen for about 4 hours, when I returned they had managed to break open a beanbag chair with those tiny Styrofoam balls. There were weightless little balls in every corner of my house forever!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
You don't have pictures, do you?

















no unfortunately no pictures ... but when I got home you could not see the floor of most of the house for the white balls ... those kids must have had a blast jumping around in that!


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## chfriend (Aug 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *a-sorta-fairytale* 
And for anyone who thinks older kids wouldnt do this...

I was babysitting 3 kids full time during the summer when i was 11. My dad or stepmom was there MOST of the time but not always and they didnt help me AT ALL.

I was very smart, pretty level headed and responsible.

But one day my parents left and it was hot and the kids were acting up. So i made a whole bunch of red jello and took it outside and we all had a jello fight.







Then i let the dogs eat up the mess. When my parents questioned me about it i said "I had them do it outside so as not to mess up the house.
BRILLIANT idea at the time.

That is brilliant! You could babysit at our house anytime.


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## StephandOwen (Jun 22, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *a-sorta-fairytale* 
But one day my parents left and it was hot and the kids were acting up. So i made a whole bunch of red jello and took it outside and we all had a jello fight.







Then i let the dogs eat up the mess. When my parents questioned me about it i said "I had them do it outside so as not to mess up the house.
BRILLIANT idea at the time.

We did this. And I had the brilliant idea of doing it in the house. And it was just 3 months ago







Actually, the original idea was to do it outside, but the weather was crappy. Owen had a "messy party" for his 3rd birthday







(In those pictures are whipped cream pies and jello)

To the OP- I'm so sorry that happened. Try to laugh it off, clean it up, and learn from it. I promise- years from now you will be able to laugh about it with your grandchildren


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## a-sorta-fairytale (Mar 29, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chfriend* 
That is brilliant! You could babysit at our house anytime.


It was soooo FUN


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## a-sorta-fairytale (Mar 29, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *StephandOwen* 
We did this. And I had the brilliant idea of doing it in the house. And it was just 3 months ago







Actually, the original idea was to do it outside, but the weather was crappy. Owen had a "messy party" for his 3rd birthday







(In those pictures are whipped cream pies and jello)

To the OP- I'm so sorry that happened. Try to laugh it off, clean it up, and learn from it. I promise- years from now you will be able to laugh about it with your grandchildren










My friend had an outdoor party where there was a huge plastic tarp covered in flour. The kids had sooooo much fun! And of course there was a kiddie pool to wash off in.


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## chaoticzenmom (May 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jokerama* 
When I was viewing the picture on Kodak's site they had a thing at the bottom showing what it would look like on a mug and that just made me laugh really hard. I think you should order that mug!

I was thinking the EXACT same thing...order that mug!


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## witchbaby (Apr 17, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *StephandOwen* 
We did this. And I had the brilliant idea of doing it in the house. And it was just 3 months ago







Actually, the original idea was to do it outside, but the weather was crappy. Owen had a "messy party" for his 3rd birthday







(In those pictures are whipped cream pies and jello)

To the OP- I'm so sorry that happened. Try to laugh it off, clean it up, and learn from it. I promise- years from now you will be able to laugh about it with your grandchildren









oh, i so want to have a messy party for my kids' birthdays! but they're both december babies and i seriously don't think i could do it inside without hyperventilating!


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## True Blue (May 9, 2003)

I think that messy party idea is sooo awesome...I wonder if DS will like that for his 5th bday? It's in May so doable...depending on the weather...sometimes it's warm, sometimes it's not!!

Also thought I'd update and say things are finally clean...except for a couple "doughy" spots on the carpet LOL....

The kids are no longer allowed to leave the bedroom before one of us gets up with them in the morning. This is the best solution for us.







Thanks for all the advice (And laughs) along the way!!!


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## boheime (Oct 25, 2005)

Knowing something and having impulse control are two different things.


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## littlemizflava (Oct 8, 2006)

just be thankful it was flour and not vital wheat glutin it is now 2 years later and i still am chasing that S#&T it was so fine that the vacume filter could not even contain it my dd had walked in her room with the 2kg plastic container of it and started to throw it by hand fulls everywhere when i seen ur pic i wish now i had some of it then i would for sure be getting the mug would have a laugh everyday i looked at it


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## northcountrymamma (Feb 24, 2006)

I think messy parties are wonderful...kids like making messes...but man do I feel for you OP, unplanned messy parties that you have to start your day with...not so wonderful! You took it like a champ and your kids will likely never do it again, seeing your disappointment, missing their playgroup and such.

My dd and I cosleep, she wakes up on her own often and I don't always hear her. I used to put child doorknob covers on my door so she would be in the room with me but she figured them out. Instead we have had MANY talks about what she can and can't do if she wakes up before me. (The number one thing I ask her to do is wake me up but I only have her and really am not sleep deprived, just a deep sleeper







) I know that things like this can happen and i personally would have been quite upset that my house was trashed, she would have known this, but couldn't place fault on her really. Kids are impulsive and need supervision, it's just hard to be there all the time.

But once while I was working, my exh stepped outside to grab a few things from his work truck while dd was napping. This was the first time she'd figured out the doorknob cover. She went downstairs, pulled a chair to the counter, climbed up on it and got the scissors from a high spot on the shelf. When ex peered in the window he caught her sitting with the cat in her lap and trying to cut the cat's hair with the super sharp scissors. As soon he saw her she ran and locked the door on him. He ran to the back door and she saw him and locked this door too. Fortunately she had forgotten about the scissors at this point but he was out there in the middle of winter in a tshirt and jeans (In interior alaska). He tried for about a half an hour to get her to open the doors and when he finally realized this wouldn't work he had to cut a hole in the wall and climb through...again...this was the middle of winter.

So sorry this was long...point is, sh-t happens and we can't always be there and stop the chaos.







:


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## mcs (Apr 20, 2005)

oh my-oh, what a mess! seems funny and not...
my little brother used to sneak out of bed at night and make gigantic messes. my mom sais that he had some sort of intuition for what would be the hardest to clean. i remember the worst was talcum powder, water and toilet paper all over the bathroom carpet! i wish we had more pictures of his night-life, but that was before digitals. he also busted his bean bag chair once- that was a mess! i can't imagine breaking more than one! like an indoor snowstorm.
the jello sounds great to me..


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## Mama Poot (Jun 12, 2006)

Coming in late...Great picture!







My reaction would depend on a few things: How much sleep I'd gotten the night before, and where I was in my womanly cycle







: If I was well rested and pre-ovulation, I would crack up hysterically and probably start rolling around in the mess with my kids. If I was poorly rested but pre-ovulation, I'd say OMFG, clean it up, and try to forget about it. If I was poorly rested and post-ovulation, heading towards my period, someone'd better call the cops because there wouldn't be anyone in the house left unscathed. OR I would just explode, go outside and curl up in a ball in the yard, shaking like a leaf and smoking a cigarette ( that has happened before in unimaginable circumstances...) But yeeeah...I am a slave to my cycles and I'm either very patient or very violent depending...I'm seeing a doctor about it soon because its becoming impossible to live like this. Hope you got everything cleaned up alright!


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## MysteryMama (Aug 11, 2006)

OMG. WOW. I'm not even gonna say what all I would do. But that would NEVER happen again. I don't care if my kids were unsupervised for a week. God bless you woman.

i also would like to add that i bet no one would be laughing if it was their house and their groceries.


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## maygee (Dec 22, 2006)

I think the part I like the best is the little flour covered naked baby legs on the couch- so cute!!! (although probably not at the time!)


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## ~Nikki~ (Aug 4, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *vbactivist* 
Co sleep....

Ha! We do! And one of the biggest messes DD made was when she snuck out of our bed in the wee hours of the morning, snuck into my washroom (which I left open in my sleep-deprived, dealing with a new baby haze in the middle of the night), and made up her face with the makeup I had recently purchased for an up-coming wedding. Do you have any idea how hard it is to wash mascara off the walls?









Oh, there was also the time that I gated DD into the playroom with me, and fell asleep on the floor (I was 9 months pregnant and exhuasted all the time). I woke up covered in marker.

I'm another one that needs my sleep. So after a night of getting up 8 or 9 times between the needs of the two kiddos, and then having my daughter spring out of bed at 3am expecting breakfast, I've been known to snooze on the sofa while she plays beside me.

But the worst messes have happened when I was wide awake and doing other "mom" things like cooking or washing diapers. My daughter went through a phase where she needed to rub creams and ointments all over herself, and everything around her. Diaper cream, moisturizer....whatever. Within 3 minutes, she could cover a room with it. I can't even count the amount of times it happened. Kids can make messes at lightning speed.

I think the only reason we haven't had a disaster like the OP's, is that the shelves in the pantry are too high for them to reach, even with their stools.

Those photos are priceless!


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## lisac77 (May 27, 2005)

You're not the only mother to experience this... my father has four brothers and one day they were making hamburgers in the kitchen. My grandmother left the room for a couple of minutes, during which one brother said to another brother, "Hey, toss me a hamburger!" A hamburger fight of epic proportions ensued and when my grandmother came back into the kitchen mere minutes later, it was covered in hamburger. The walls, the ceiling, the light fixture, the stove... everything. She lit into them and made them clean it up. They laughed and had a fabulous time cleaning the kitchen and it is a family story that has been told hundreds of times.

I would have flipped, and I think you handled it really well.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Nikki~* 
But the worst messes have happened when I was wide awake and doing other "mom" things like cooking or washing diapers. My daughter went through a phase where she needed to rub creams and ointments all over herself, and everything around her. Diaper cream, moisturizer....whatever. Within 3 minutes, she could cover a room with it. I can't even count the amount of times it happened. Kids can make messes at lightning speed.

You know...I'd actually forgotten. DD was doing that about a year ago. She loved "lotion" and anything she thought was like "lotion". Toothpaste all up and down the bathroom door, and the carpet outside the bathroom...when I thought she was still napping. My lovely lavender lotion all over my sheets, comforter, pillow and bedroom carpet. And, I'd forgotten all about it. Wow...


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## dillonandmarasmom (May 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lisa49* 
Um, I think there was obviously dry cereal available







Sorry, couldn't resist.

Now this got me


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## Sharon RN (Sep 6, 2006)

Ok, that just sucks.

Flame me at will, but I'm sure swear words would have come bubbling up pretty fast!

My son saw the pic, and he said, "Well, they _are_ young." My "gentle parent" in the making!

There never seems to be an end to some things. Today, I found out my son had cut his pants with a pair of scissors. Several times. He said he liked the "look." (His teenage years are flashing before my eyes now!) Well, since he does have an understanding of money now, he'll be buying another pair of pants for himself tomorrow.

To the OP: Deep breath in, deep breath out. I think you've done a great job with this.









Sharon


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## crayon (Aug 24, 2002)

We have a very small apartment- but Rainey (almost 4) gets up often and I get up get her an apple or something and then go back to my room with the door open- this could so happen to me too... Don't let anyone make you feel bad about sleeping in your own house. Gosh. Sometimes Breeze even gets up and they cuddle in the big chair and watch a movie.

I am sorry- that really had to suck- not to mention the money- agh.


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## gurumama (Oct 6, 2002)

I'm really glad neither child got hurt--if they were pulling food off shelves they could have been injured. I know how hard it is to balance getting enough sleep with being a healthy SAHM, but leaving a 2 yo and a 4 yo to roam yields the "natural consequence" of this mess.


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## Sharondio (Apr 27, 2002)

You are not alone. This was my DD (now 5) when she was not yet 3. FWIW, I was home, awake and in the other room cleaning for the holiday while she was...I thought...watching TV.

Why there will be no homemade pie at our house this year.

I entered the room to my daughter throwing flour in the air gleefully and saying, "Mama, come play with me."

http://members.aol.com/odoverachieve...ella_flour.jpg
http://members.aol.com/odoverachieve...lla_flour2.jpg
http://members.aol.com/odoverachieve...lla_flour3.jpg
http://members.aol.com/odoverachieve...lla_flour4.jpg
http://members.aol.com/odoverachieve...bella_feet.jpg


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## Malva (Nov 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PumpkinSeeds* 
I let my 5 yo look at that picture and I asked, "what do you think happened?"

He said, "Those kids(pointing to the legs on the couch) were hungry."










That made me laugh so hard!







:


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## True Blue (May 9, 2003)

*Seriously, please stop criticizing me for what happened.*









*The food was on the lowest shelf in a tall pantry cabinet. Right at their level. No one could have gotten hurt pulling the food out.









It's like people think I'm stupid because my kids made a mess!!!! Sh*t happens sometimes!!!!*

FTR, I have always had one of the best child-proofed homes of everyone I know!!! And just because I won't put a lock on my pantry closet does not mean I want to put my kids in danger!!! That cabinet has nothing dangerous in it (just messy)!!!!! I shouldn't be shamed for not wanting to put locks on my food cabinet.

*I am SO sure that the people making comments have children who have NEVER made a mess, or gotten into something they wish they hadn't!! And if they haven't yet....watch out!!














*


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## True Blue (May 9, 2003)

*Sharondio...*


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## AngelBee (Sep 8, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *True Blue* 
While I slept this morning, my kids dumped out about 3 bags of flour, 6 boxes of (new cereal), the (new) big bag of oatmeal, my coffee, and who knows what else all over my living room floor. WTF??? I don't even know what to do with them let alone where to start cleaning it!







: They obviously have to help, but there have to be other (logical/natural) consequences...WWYD? They honestly have wasted close to $100 in food.

http://www.kodakgallery.com/Slidesho...Uy=775aq3&Ux=0

Oh no!


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## LouCostello (Sep 16, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *True Blue* 
*Seriously, please stop criticizing me for what happened.*









*The food was on the lowest shelf in a tall pantry cabinet. Right at their level. No one could have gotten hurt pulling the food out.









It's like people think I'm stupid because my kids made a mess!!!! Sh*t happens sometimes!!!!*

FTR, I have always had one of the best child-proofed homes of everyone I know!!! And just because I won't put a lock on my pantry closet does not mean I want to put my kids in danger!!! That cabinet has nothing dangerous in it (just messy)!!!!! I shouldn't be shamed for not wanting to put locks on my food cabinet.

*I am SO sure that the people making comments have children who have NEVER made a mess, or gotten into something they wish they hadn't!! And if they haven't yet....watch out!!














*

Of all the posts on this page, that was probably the most loaded and most offensive.

The reason there's such a focus on logical consequences is because logical consequences are not limited to children. They continue to occur throughout our lifetime. Consider the mess (and the clean-up) your logical consequence for not supervising your children more closely.


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## northcountrymamma (Feb 24, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LouCostello* 
Of all the posts on this page, that was probably the most loaded and most offensive.

The reason there's such a focus on logical consequences is because logical consequences are not limited to children. They continue to occur throughout our lifetime. Consider the mess (and the clean-up) your logical consequence for not supervising your children more closely.

Whoa...I'd say take it easy...this mamma was getting flamed and sticking up for herself. As a pp stated, messes happen even when you are in the next room. Kids are just impulsive, curious creatures. The OP had her logical consequence, she spent the day cleaning it up and lost $ in food. Your guilting her is not a logical consequence and as I see it kinda rude.


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## LouCostello (Sep 16, 2005)

I think it's pretty unrealistic to post pictures of a mess and say it occured when you were asleep and not expect people to suggest that she not sleep when her kids are awake.


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## chfriend (Aug 29, 2002)

Hi aquadaughter. It's nice to have an 8 year old among us. Welcome to MDC!


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## FillingMyQuiver (Jul 20, 2004)

BIG HUGE







s mama!!! I cannot imagine waking to that!!! I completely understand needing some zzz's AND not putting locks in some things. We live in an apt and are not allowed to put child locks on our cabinets. We have had to be very careful in our planning of the kitchen space b/c of this. Everything below counter is unbreakable (or at least would take some HEAVY duty abuse to break), non-toxic, and okay for kids if they get into it. We have a tall closet that is our pantry and DS (33mo) can open the door and realistically get into MOST of what's in there.

Here are some suggestions I have (coming from a similar standpoint of food being accessible to the kids. I know you said you want o preven this and while keeping the kids in the room w/ you is a start, we all know what escape artists they can be. Wouldn't want this happening while you went to the bathroom or anything.)~

*could you put the bags of stuff (flour, sugar, etc) on top of your fridge? This is where we store our flour and sugar so the kids can't get to it (easily at least...







)

*maybe rearrange your food cabinets so that things are in a different place? I've found that it's easier for me to put cans and airtight, kids-can't-open-it-without-the-jaws-of-life stuff towards the bottom so that it's the first thing they reach for instead of the boxed stuff like cereal.

*if the above doesn't help, maybe try and find some sort of container that's harder to open than a cereal bag?? The 5yo may be able to get it open, but it may take a little longer or be a deterance (sp)??

This is all I could come up w/ for help in the prevention aspect. It sounds like you handled it as well as you could, mama







WTG


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## AngelBee (Sep 8, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aquadaughter* 
Ebay some toys. They probably have some toys they're bored of anyway. I mean, the treat thing was pretty gentle... But that's just like... to teach a lesson. But the toy thing... it would probably be for the better. Get rid of the toys that the kids don't want so they don't take up space, but sell the toys on ebay so you do not waste money.

That is my advice.

Charlotte....the only thing is they might feel like they are being "punished" over what happened. KWIM?

Love your name by the way


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## mamaSun loveMore (May 22, 2006)

Sheesh!

I'm glad you made it through that one sister!

What a mess! But it sounds like you have some pretty free and creative kids.

That reminds me of a classic from our book of family lore:

When my older brother was a toddler (4-5 maybe), he had a similar episode with Comet cleaner (this is over 30 years ago) at our grandmother's house. Apparently he had spilled something and wanted to 'clean' it up, so he dumped the cleanser all over the floor. When our G-ma returned and said, with alarm, that he would have to clean the mess up, he pulled out the liquid dishwashing soap and poured the entire bottle out over the Comet. He was honestly trying to clean up his mess. Needless to say, her kitchen looked like someone had thrown a foam-party there for days (I'm told).

My brother is now one of the most meticulous men I know. Clean, tidy and extremely successful. So take heart!


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## Snowdrift (Oct 15, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LouCostello* 
Of all the posts on this page, that was probably the most loaded and most offensive.

The reason there's such a focus on logical consequences is because logical consequences are not limited to children. They continue to occur throughout our lifetime. Consider the mess (and the clean-up) your logical consequence for not supervising your children more closely.

Without agreeing with your original point, I'd like to say that you seem to have taken the honor of the most offensive and loaded post.

My sympathies to the OP about the incident, the frustrations of trying to get enough sleep, and the bash-fest that some of this thread has become.


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## pookel (May 6, 2006)

I am sorry for not reading every single post in this thread.

But have you considered napping in the living room while they're awake? I find that my son is better behaved when I'm there, even if I'm not conscious. Also, you'd probably have noticed the mess sooner.

Luckily, I'm blessed with a neurotic toddler who cannot stand to see crumbs on the table and will start exclaiming "mess! mess!" until someone cleans it up (he even freaks out about getting bubbles on his hands in a bubble bath!) so this is one parenting crisis I hope to avoid ... at least with this child. I'm not sure how I would have reacted in your situation. I probably would have just sat down and cried.


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## ~Nikki~ (Aug 4, 2004)

Quote:

I think it's pretty unrealistic to post pictures of a mess and say it occured when you were asleep and not expect people to suggest that she not sleep when her kids are awake.
Yes, the only problem being that we don't really have a choice or control over when our children wake in the morning. The OP said something along the lines of "While I was sleeping in the morning...." It could very well be that the mother had not yet gotten out of bed, and the children woke up and destroyed the living room while she was still fast asleep. It has happened to me, and I co-sleep. Kids can be sneaky and quiet when they decide they want to "help" you by making their own breakfast and allowing you to "sleep in." (That was my daughter's explanation to an early morning breakfast mess - thankfully not as catastrophic as the OP's disaster!)

I think it's pretty unrealistic to expect mothers to start setting their alarm clocks for 3am so they're sure to be up in time before their early birds sneak out of bed.


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## georgia (Jan 12, 2003)

Okay, everyone.....I think the OP has gotten plenty of advice in an effort to avoid an incident of this powdery magnitude from ever occuring again














Please remember that we are each doing the best that we can in the unique circumstances that we find ourselves.

Please remember that the MDC User Agreement specifically asks that we:

Quote:

*Do not post to a thread to take direct issue with a member. If you feel a member has posted or behaved inappropriately in a discussion, communicate directly with the member, moderator or administrator privately and refrain from potentially defaming discussion in a thread.*
In addition, this is a gentle reminder that:

Quote:

MDC serves an online community of parents, families, and parent, child and family advocates considering, learning, practicing, and advocating attachment parenting and natural family living. *Our discussions concern the real world of mothering and are first and foremost, for support, information, and community.*
The GD Forum is for those of us interested in learning and applying Gentle Discipline, and supporting each other. Let's please focus on this important goal rather than second guessing at this point. Any further personally pointed comments would best be taken to PM. Thanks


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## Pookietooth (Jul 1, 2002)

Lock up the food! Lock the kitchen up! :LOL Really, I'd hate to have that happen to me. We don't use flour or eat cereal, but anything we have is very valuable. I'd have a cow! Maybe having just one kid is a good thing.


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