# any dc where modesty never kicked in?



## chel (Jul 24, 2004)

my dd is only 4, but I'm looking for responses from parents with older dc. Does anyone have a dc that never felt modest being naked? Mostly in "normal" situations such as locker rooms as oppose to streaking a football game, etc.
We're a pretty naked family and so far dd has no signs of modesty. Almost all of her friends do.


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

We're a nake-y family, my dh being the least modest. But all the children (6, 11, 12, 16) now like privacy. My youngest dd still nurses, but she makes sure the door to the bathroom is closed when she is in there. I can go in, but she wants the door closed . The least modest is my youngest ds- he's most like his dad- personality -wise.

But no, I can't say any of the children care to see us naked anymore, and none of the older ones walk around naked and they all close the bathroom door, although sometimes my youngest ds doesn't. I'd say 50/50. If my dh is walking around naked-- looking for shampoo or something before a shower, the older kids tend to not appreciate that. My 6 yr old is still in the doesn't care place.

I don't have any problem with kids or adults wanting privacy. Personally, I like to pee alone and I tend not to walk around naked, unless i am going out to the hot tub or something and it's evening and I think nobody's around. (yeah, like that's possible with 4 kids) even then, my oldest son wil say 'Mom. Do you have to?" So i try to be repectful of this. I'd be in the wrong not to respect personal needs/boundaries.

I think a lot of folks are modest and teach their kids to be modest, espcially if they are not at home. I don't want to watch friends of my kids go to the bathroom, even of they are only 6. (Although I would help them in there if they needed help). lol Just my personal preference. Some people are modest, and that's perfectly ok. Modesty is different from shame. Because a child doesn't care to be naked or go to the bathroom around someone else does not mean they are ashamed of going to the bathroom or of their naked bodies.


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## Dar (Apr 12, 2002)

We wander around naked sometimes - just the two of us, not with guests over. Just last night Rain was laying on my bed and I was peeing with the bathroom door open, and she commented on what a lovely view she had...

We are a two-people, all-female household, which might matter... I think the single-mom-with-daughter dynamic changes things.

Rain is 12, for the record, and fully, um, developed (more so that I am, actually).

Dar


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

It may be different for mothers/daughters. My 12 yr old dd still likes me to wash her hair when she showers. She's very free about talking to me about bodies. She is not very developed yet, but she has shown me body changes. However, even when we are home alone, she isn't the sort to be naked. My 11 yr old ds is also very casual about it, too. Although he doesn't hang around naked, but will walk out of the bathroom to his bedroom naked after a shower. he's not one to be naked otherwise.


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## UnschoolnMa (Jun 14, 2004)

We are very relaxed about nudity around here. The kids have just grown up in that environment. My son (almost 14) prefers alot of privacy when dressing/undressing, but he will let someone use the restroom if he is in the shower and he has no trouble seeing me without clothes. My Dd (11.5) and is developing. Sometimes she needs privacy, and sometimes she could care less. I am often in various stages of dressed/undressed, and my kids are totally cool with it. (In front of guests we're all dressed) We just try to respect everyones needs, and make sure we all get the privacy we are needing.


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## chel (Jul 24, 2004)

so what about peer modesty? Currently many of dd friends are encouraged not to change infront of eachother. I'm still not comfortable in "group" showers at the gym. Normally they are just in the guy's, but I've been to some in the women's as well. Are guys just suppose to be less modest? I wish I could be more laid back. Back in jr high when we had to change for gym my group of friends would always go back to the unused shower area to change, no one ever took showers. I don't want my hang-ups to rub off on dd. I'm just trying to figure out if it's a personality thing and that some people are just more comfortable about their body or if parental attitude has an effect. I would think most dc would be more modest or annoyed around their parents. I had a good friend from Spain that wouldn't go to the beach topless when her parents were around (in her late teens). I was brought up in a family that I never even saw my dad without pants and shoes. For the life of me, I couldn't identify his bare legs/feet in a line-up. Currently dd and DH stay naked alot due to their hot nature, I'm usually in sweats all year round as DH insists on year round inside temp in the 50's or as close to it as possible.


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## malibusunny (Jul 29, 2003)

modesty never kicked in for me, even though my stepdad was very modest. i was always having to be told to put pjs or a robe on.







: i'm more "modest" now but really it's just that i hate my fat. i think modesty is often just a more socially accepted way of saying "ashamed of our bodies"


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## PajamaMama (Dec 18, 2004)

My 10yo dd has no modesty at all. She bathes with our 2yo dd all the time and last night after their bath she brought the toddler into the office where dh and I were to show us the jammies she had picked out for the little one. She was still completely nude!









She isn't really developing yet though; maybe that will change her attitude. I encourage her to wear at least panties and an undershirt around the house, at least as much as she'd have on at the pool or lake.

I was much more modest when I was growing up. Even though it was more often than not just my mom and the three of us girls, we still wore clothes around the house. I don't have a problem with others' nudity; I was in the Army and have lots of experience with group showers, etc. I try to take my cues from whoever I'm with to how much skin can be exposed. Left to my own devices, I'd live in my panties most of the time.









As far as how my daughter feels with peer nudity, when she's had friends sleep over, they've changed clothes in front of each other and didn't bat an eye. Again, maybe this will change when they start developing more.

eta: DH is very modest. He never hangs out in anything less than pajama pants and an undershirt. Also, I'm homeschooling, so I don't know about the gym shower thing for kids.


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## TimeAngel (May 4, 2005)

I may be a newbie, but I just thought it a little strange that there is another Single Mom/Daughter set here with a 12 yr old named Rain... My dd will be 13 in July.

We have no problem walking around 1/2 nakey especially if we have just showered... we Hostel alot and are used to being around unknowns


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## doctorjen (May 29, 2003)

We're not a very modest family here, either. Oldest ds didn't shut the door to the bathroom for years. My younger ds (8 next month) thinks nothing of seeing me naked. (In fact, I'm typing this sitting on the throne in the bathroom with the laptop while little dd is naked on her potty chair, and little ds is brushing his teeth in his undies!)
My oldest ds likes privacy now, though. He'll be 17 in July. Oldest dd is our most modest child. She still lets me in the bathroom with her, but wouldn't dream of changing in front of her brothers anymore. Just last summer she frequently went around in just underwear at night at home with no shirt on, but now she's become much more private. She just turned 10. She also swims on the swim team and now always changes in a changing room at the locker room.


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