# Mums of Many it's April



## baltic_ballet (May 17, 2007)

WELCOME


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## baltic_ballet (May 17, 2007)

Wow the weeks are flying by; I can't believe it's April already









What are everyone's plans for Easter? We are planning a large family lunch with all the extended family.

The past few months have been very hectic for me so I am going to try and join in here more often









Sam


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Here I am. And I, too, can't believe it is already April! WOW!


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Happy April! It was sunshiney and beautiful here today.


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## rajahkat (Oct 1, 2003)

No Easter plans here. We celebrate Ostara on the First day of Spring instead. My Easter Sundays usually involve going out for a cup of coffee only to not understand "why everything is closed!?!"

I have some ookey stomach thing this evening. Hoping not to puke.


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

We don't celebrate Easter (we do the plagues and passover). This year, Easter sunday is my son's birthday, so we will be celebrating that.


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## SeekingSerenity (Aug 6, 2006)

My kids like dyeing eggs and hunting for them... for days... possibly weeks...

I still have almost all of the plastic eggs from LAST Easter, so we shall be starting the hallowed egg-hunts on Saturday.

Otherwise, I give my kids baskets (filled mostly with inexpensive things that they can use in creative ways - sidewalk chalk, mini-Playdoh tubs, markers, little notebooks, etc. - rather than candy or toys they just forget about). Then we spend the day just enjoying ourselves outside (weather permitting) and playing together as a family.

I don't celebrate any of the Christian aspects of Easter (obviously) but I am respectful of those who do. We made a pretty big deal out of Ostara on the equinox (well, me and my kids did, DH is unconcerned with any of it, really).

I also try desperately to steer clear of as much candy as possible. Seriously, I am still trying to get rid of Halloween and Christmas candy!!


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## baltic_ballet (May 17, 2007)

I hope I didn't offend anyone by asking about Easter - it wasn't my intention


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

I, for one, was not offended at all.







I just do not celebrate it as much of the world does. This is always a fun time of year for us, though. So much going on and all.


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

I'm hoping to get a chance to do some Easter baskets tomorrow while dh watches the kids.


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## PreggieUBA2C (Mar 20, 2007)

We don't celebrate easter, but we will be having a spring celebration. We wanted to do it on the first day of spring, but we were all sick, then we were finally able to coordinate help to demolish and then replace 20' of exterior wall, and then dp's job schedule was in the way, soooooo, we'll be having our spring celebration on April 7th.

We'll be planting all of our indoor starting seeds, eating chocolate and candies and the children have some very sweet little organic stuffed toy dinosaurs coming to them. In the thread about non-religious easter celebrations, I was reminded that hunts are fun, so I have to figure out something to hide and have the children find. I'll be baking a carrot cake and roasting a goose and other goodies too. Maybe we'll offer to do the barn chores for our friends who own the farm we're living on. A _real_ egg hunt!







We all like doing them.









It's so muddy right now that we'll likely not spend much time outside slipping and sliding all over the place. Maybe we'll watch Microcosmos.

On April 1st, I happened to ask dp what the date was and he said, "April 1st... HAHAHA! No it's not. Aprils fools!" I told him if it wasn't April 1st, it wasn't a very good joke and if was, then it wasn't a joke at all.









On the docket for April is the building of a chicken coop from repurposed demolition lumber from the trailer.







I'm excited! Chicks to arrive in May!


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## rajahkat (Oct 1, 2003)

Well not very Springy here today! Chris just took the 4 elder kids up the mountain for some sledding. We woke up to 6 inches of fresh snow this morning.







Elm is napping so I'm enjoying the quiet & knitting some leg/arm warmers for Cedar. That poor girls hands and feet are always freezing!

Shrimp etouffee for dinner tonight, just waiting for everyone to get home to throw the shrimp into the pot, and then I think we'll watch Sherlock Holmes tonight. Maybe a cup of coffee & a hot shower.









Cedar's birthday is on the 10th, and Chris is headed out to Kalispell on the same day, so I think we'll celebrate the night before with dinner & cake and then have her open her gifts in the morning before he leaves for the airport. She doesn't really need or want any new toys, so I'm thinking some dresses & a trip to Claires for some fun hair pretties. I may get her a new duvet & cover too, if I see something in the pink/purple she adores so much right now.

And I guess that's about it for me!


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## peaceful_mama (May 27, 2005)

Still here. Still pregnant.







Is it cause it's my 4th and I'm massively out of shape that I already feel ligaments stretching?!

please please please do not tell me it is because my uterus is larger at only 7 weeks because I am having twins or something.........

you can see the other kids' ages in my siggy. 4 in 6 years. is that it? please tell me that's it.


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## rajahkat (Oct 1, 2003)

I can only tell you that with my last I was noticeably pregnant suuuper early. Like bloating & not fitting into my clothes by 6-8 weeks. Not twins.


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## suziek (Jun 4, 2004)

Hello friends, I need sleep advice stat. How would you handle bedtime/sleep with a 5 month old with older siblings. Bedtime with the 4 bigs is such a fun slog--snack, showers, reading, a bit of tomfoolery and then sleep. After that I nurse my smallest man to sleep so that means his "bedtime" is around 9:30. He wakes again around 11 and then at 3 and 5. I'm getting a little tired. At each wake up I nurse him back to sleep. During the day he naps whenever. There is so much going on we haven't developed any kind of rythym or pattern. Now that he's approaching 6 months I'm thinking I need something more predictable for both him and me. Sleeping through the night would be nice too. He's an exceptionally happy, easy baby. But the sleep issue needs some work. Advice?

This is a MOM issue because if he were a #1 or 2 I'd know how to set a routine. Doing that feels impossible with all the other kids. That's why I'm asking here. Will also ask in nighttime parenting. TIA


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## mataji4 (Sep 28, 2006)

I'm very curious about suggestions for suziek...sounds like my babies and I don't think I can be up so much anymore, at my age, with all I have to do during the day. So when this babe is a few months old I'm going to be looking for some solid ideas too!


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## PreggieUBA2C (Mar 20, 2007)

I have no advice on sleep issues. If I write about why, we'll be into the fourth page before I'm done.









I do have a question of my own, for you mamas.

Today a friend invited me out to a meeting (organic growers; I would looove to go), but dp is at work, which she knew, so she and her dh had called offerring for her dh to look after our four boys for four hrs while I'm away with his wife.

I have never left our four boys with anyone. I cannot imagine being comfortable with leaving our four boys with _one person_. He and his wife raised one son who is now grown and moved out and they had a baby in their home last summer for a few months with their niece (the baby's mother).

I trust my friends, but I think that this proposition would be like jumping into an unknown lake from very high up given that he has never looked after so many children at once, our boys have never been looked after by him or anyone else (well, except the oldest two who were looked after twice as infant and toddler while ds3 was being birthed and one other time), AND it would be the first time for me as well, and none of us knows or is sure of how things will go.

My friends thought that his having grown up with 8 siblings would be adequate for experience with this, but I pointed out that he was a sibling, and not in charge of meeting his siblings' needs; his mum did that.

Any time someone thinks their experience as a child is adequate preparation for child-rearing or care-taking, I am leery. Their son is also 21 yrs old, so it's been a long while since he's dealt with the needs of a 28 month old, and children from that age to 6 yrs.

Do you leave your young closely spaced children with others (one untried, unproven person alone)? Would you leave your four children in this situation? I said no. It took dp a few hours of reflection to come to that conclusion, but if it were just his decision, he said that he would have been fine with it. BUT he does agree that my concerns are valid and reason enough to not do it. He just wouldn't have thought of it that way to begin with. But I do, so he is in agreement.

My dp suggested that perhaps we could ask them if they'd like to look after our boys together while dp and I go out for a few hours. That way, there are two of them to problem-solve and make decisions. But even then, while we've know our friends for nearly two years, we haven't spent enough time for them to be really aware of how we live, which isn't completely necessary with our boys because they are very verbal and confident and can inform if necessary, BUT in a worse-case scenario, if they had to involve someone else, they wouldn't know what our decisions would be. I would prefer that those sorts of things be known between us before they look after our children.

Also, our boys all have ADD in varying degrees and manifestations. We have an enormous 'tool box' for helping each one thrive and not end up being overwhelmed or becoming unruly and miserable, while maintaining respect and compassion for them. We are by no means strict, but we do a lot of work to make things run chaotically here. "Smoothly" is impossible, and "chaotically" is as good as it gets because the alternative is just rotten and miserable.

I am an expert at navigating the relationships here, and much of the time, I have to do that with dp too, because he is just not as aware and also doesn't spend as much time at home as I do. Anyway, other people have no chance at this, which is one reason why I stay home. Because I do so much work, others (including these friends) have no idea what goes on 'behind the scenes' to make things work here and what they see is the fruit of that labour, having no idea what the labour consists of for me, and for them should they take on looking after our boys. An hour or two or maybe three would be fine if I set it up for them, but four hrs with one person whose never done this before seems, well, potentially hazardous to me.

I just think that overall, the common idea that it's normal or healthy to leave children with people who do not know them very, very well, is one oftentimes of convenience or necessity, and neither of those situations exists for us. It is neither convenient nor necessary for our dc to be looked after by others right now, so it seems to me a risk not worth taking. They will not be 28 months to 6 yrs old forever, and while they are, decisions about their care are more critical than they will be in a few years, for instance.

What do you think, mamas?


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## gardenmommy (Nov 23, 2001)

Thinking I might very well like to jump in for the company and support of other MOM. I have 5 DC, ages 11, 8, 5, 2, and 2 weeks. Very crazy and busy here most of the time. I am always looking for more ideas and whatnot for making life run more smoothly.


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## zjande (Nov 4, 2002)

Well, my very short answer your your long question is, no, I wouldn't have considered it.







For every reason you brought up. We've only ever left our 2 & 4 yr olds with grandma one time, so we could go see Avatar







. Otherwise, we don't use sitters. I'm just too leery of other folks trying to happily provide for my challenging ("spirited"?) 4 yr old, and anyone who hasn't had a 2 yr old of their own recently might be in for a surprise!







They're not always easy! So no, I would have sincerely thanked the friends for the offer, but declined.

Regarding SuzieK's question, I'm right there with ya with a 5 month old in bed with me, but I have no advice either. My baby wakes up 2- 3 times per night & nurses right back to sleep. I feel suuuper grateful for this, he's the best sleeper of my bunch! My others weren't sleeping for such long stretches at that age. None of mine have slept through the night til past their 4th bday. I honestly think I've just grown accustomed to feeling loopy from sleep loss.







My memory is absolutely shot. No joke. And I'm sure it's from a lifetime of sleep loss.

Gee, isn't that helpful??














I do wish you luck though suziek!


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## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

I wouldn't leave four children of the ages yours are with someone who didn't know them well - like several-times-a-week-well.

Leaving children with whoever is a common thing in mainstream society but it doesn't sit well with me either. We rarely leave ours with anyone and two of them are teens so well able to look after their own needs. You know your children and if you think things may not go well without careful planing and your tool box at hand then don't do it.

Missing opportunities for yourself is hard but as you say, it won't be forever.


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## tifpaul (Nov 13, 2006)

SuzieK, at five months, I realized that our youngest could go to bed at 5:30 or 6. We had her up during the evening routine and then until 9:30 or 10, waiting for the late-night feed to put her down. But, actually, she went right to sleep the first time we tried an early bedtime for her. Now, this was in the dead of winter when it was dark then. But if yours naps usually then maybe it'll be like putting him down for a nap. At the least, the baby will get the extra sleep, and you won't be minding a 5 mo as you put the bigger ones down.
I usually did it just when my spouse walked in the door from work.


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## PreggieUBA2C (Mar 20, 2007)

Thanks so much for your reassurances and support.







I talked to our friends about it and they took it very well.

I think a few hours with both of them looking after our boys and with dp and I having set them all up for success could work out nicely. And this is only because they are our friends and we live next to one another. I would not even think of hiring a sitter.

This is an interesting phenomenon that has happened since our fourth child was born: some friends seem very eager to surmount the _challenge_ of looking after them. I am not very comfortable with that perspective (these friends don't have it) and I think it is very weird; our children are actually _people_. They just want to see if they can _do_ it, but are unaware of the insecurity that both our dc and dp and I would experience with them using our family to meet their need for personal challenge and/or triumph. Obviously this is a complete "NO" for looking after them, but it is sometimes hard to keep coming up with reasons when we're asked. _They are not exotic fish or house plants! Climb the rock face behind the house if you want a challenge!!!_

Does anyone else experience this? It's like our dc become objects because they are more than one or two little people in our home. Strange.

On a lighter note, we are preparing to renovate the boys' room beginning next weekend, and we're sooo excited! It will involve a removal and replacement of the floor, walls, and moving a wall to increase the area of the room. We'll be removing the ceiling and roof next summer; I just don't see how we'll be able to do that this year with a baby coming so soon.

Then we're building deep shelving/cubbies along the lengths of three walls, and with rails on top, these will also be the boy's beds. There will be a floor-to-ceiling book shelf, and a bed with a higher railing for the baby (for naps if possible; we co-sleep nights otherwise, usually for two years) and high shelving/cupboards for clothing. They will have a large play space in there and will be able to use their beds for play as well. They are going to love walking along and jumping off of the railings. They'll be short- 6 inches- except for the baby bed which will be higher, and very sturdy, of course.

We're planning to put up supports to hold a hanging hammock chair in two spots in our home for times when I need my body free and the baby needs to sleep and isn't ready for the bed in the boys' room for naps. The chair we have is really lovely and so comfy snuggly for a little body, and having it means that I can have th baby in the kitchen or studio with me even when I cannot carry him/her.

I'm very excited about this, and even more excited that dp is excited. I think he surmounted a personal hurdle when we put up the 20' exterior wall in the living room. He told me afterward that that was the first positive and actually fun construction experience he'd ever had. Growing up, construction always came with a lot of yelling and nastiness in his family. No wonder he has been so resistant to doing it. Anyway, he's interested and excited now that he's had a really good time doing it with people who were also having a good time!









For those who've read my questions about dormitories for children, we still want that, but right now we're renovating the modular home/trailer we need to live in while we build a house that will have a dormitory for the children. There just isn't room for that in here. It's 12'x40' with two bedrooms and we knocked out all the other walls so that our living room, diningroom and kitchen are all open to one another now. I don't know how anyone could stand all those timy rooms divided like that. Anyway, for now we'll be able to hide all the toys underneath the beds at bedtime, at least.

Does anyone else undertake such crazy things with so many littles all around?







Or is it just us?


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## PreggieUBA2C (Mar 20, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *peaceful_mama* 
Still here. Still pregnant.







Is it cause it's my 4th and I'm massively out of shape that I already feel ligaments stretching?!

please please please do not tell me it is because my uterus is larger at only 7 weeks because I am having twins or something.........

you can see the other kids' ages in my siggy. 4 in 6 years. is that it? please tell me that's it.

My uterus was measuring really, really huge for a long while, but now at 29 weeks, I'm right on for dates, which is weird for me because I usually measure big all through, although not as big as I was in the first trimester with this one; I was at my belly button by 11 weeks. and poked up above the bone by 7 weeks.









As far as I can tell now, there's only one in there. Mind you, I don't do ultrasounds, so what I say now may not mean anything since I may very well have more than one in there and not be able to tell.

Also, my body seems to give up when I lie down, so that the baby is spread right out and not all bunched up and round like the others were, so when I measure, I know that it's not even as accurate as previous pgs. I stick out a lot standing up, but laying down, I just look like I have a baby laying on me on its side, not the beachball that I otherwise look like I'm hiding under my shirt.


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## Mama~Love (Dec 8, 2003)

Hey Ladies! I just wanted to jump in here & say that we are expecting Baby #7 in December! We have 3 boys & 3 girls, so this is our little tiebreaker







.

I just found out last Thursday; I had a beta check on Friday that was 718 @ 21DPO, and getting another one tomorrow (Tuesday). Pray for good numbers for me, as it was a really crazy story how I found out. I am feeling nauseous in the mornings, which I've never had morning sickness before, so I'm counting that as a good sign.


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## rajahkat (Oct 1, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mama~Love* 
Hey Ladies! I just wanted to jump in here & say that we are expecting Baby #7 in December! We have 3 boys & 3 girls, so this is our little tiebreaker







.

I just found out last Thursday; I had a beta check on Friday that was 718 @ 21DPO, and getting another one tomorrow (Tuesday). Pray for good numbers for me, as it was a really crazy story how I found out. I am feeling nauseous in the mornings, which I've never had morning sickness before, so I'm counting that as a good sign.

congratulations MamaLove!


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Congratulations!


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mama~Love* 
Hey Ladies! I just wanted to jump in here & say that we are expecting Baby #7 in December! We have 3 boys & 3 girls, so this is our little tiebreaker







.



Well, oh my goodness. We're going to be in the same DDC!







Congrats!


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## pixiekisses (Oct 14, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mama~Love* 
Hey Ladies! I just wanted to jump in here & say that we are expecting Baby #7 in December! We have 3 boys & 3 girls, so this is our little tiebreaker







.

I can write exactly this!
Very early still, but we're also expecting our little 7th tiebreaker in december.









Congrats!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
Well, oh my goodness. We're going to be in the same DDC!







Congrats!

Me too! Congrats to you too!


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Oh, we are going to have so much fun in that DDC! Congrats to you as well, pixie!


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## wendybird (Jul 21, 2007)

Wow! Congrats to all the newly expecting mamas, what a wonderful time to be due!


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## Mama~Love (Dec 8, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
Well, oh my goodness. We're going to be in the same DDC!







Congrats!


Quote:


Originally Posted by *pixiekisses* 
I can write exactly this!
Very early still, but we're also expecting our little 7th tiebreaker in december.









Congrats!

Me too! Congrats to you too!


Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
Oh, we are going to have so much fun in that DDC! Congrats to you as well, pixie!

Well, we sure are a fertile bunch, aren't we?!?! Congratulations to both of you too!! How exciting for some of us to be due around the same time!!

My EDD is Dec. 9th, what are your ladies'?


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## rajahkat (Oct 1, 2003)

Congratulations Pixie & Annette!


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## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

congrats to all of you dec. ddc mamas!









I'm (only) expecting #4 and I am having some serious panic & anxiety all of a sudden..is this normal? I feel like I cant possible keep up with them..I have been feeling So sick the last 2 months (im 10 weeks now) and Im scared that this is going to be my life from now on..piles of dirty laundry, piles of clean laundry, constant dirty house







I am generally a good house keeper but BLAH. I guess since we are moving into our new house in a few months im also feeling focused on that rather than this house which i really dislike for so many reasons. now that i know we can get out of here







I feel like im almost giving up on it..does that make sense? but its like im fighting myself over it because i hate having a crazy chaotic home..Im trying to get packed, trying to plan renos on our new house..trying to envision it all being done in November with the veg. gardens and all of the business of summer mixed in. I really really want to enjoy it and not feel panicked.. im pretty sure this will be our last, at least for a long while and I want to be totally happy and in love but im feeling like its more complicated than that.. *sigh*

we get into our new house april 30th then I can start painting and getting stuff just so and I know that once i can get my hands dirty there i will be much happier.. and i will be 12 weeks then and hopefully feeling MUCH better.. can i just sleep for the next 2 weeks?

ETA: on a positive note, my 2 year old is night weaned and sleeping so much better and waking up so happy! yay!


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## PreggieUBA2C (Mar 20, 2007)

MamaFern,

We had surprise visitors the other day and we're renovating (major- moving/installing interior and exterior walls, ripping out bathrooms and kitchen sort of thing), living in a small space, dp is gone for fourteen hours four times each week (or five), usually with three or four days like that in a row, and we have four children, six and under and I'm 6 months pg. Oh and we live on a farm and the sand and mud is never-ending.

I told our friends that I am actually a very tidy person, but you'd never know it from my house.







They didn't believe me. I have a studio away from my house that testifies for me though- but nobody else goes there but me and another artist...

Anyway, trying to keep this place tidy with all this stuff going on, like in your situation, is like trying to sweep the sand off the beach. I made a rule for our home a few years ago that whatever I cannot maintain cannot be here. That led to a huge purge, but a much tidier house. The children had enough clothing for a week and no more, our furniture was drastically reduced (we had no furniture in the living room at all and sat on big floor cushions that I made from wool- though now we do have furniture, but the rule stands), All clothing and linen was kept on designated shelves in the laundry room directly over the folding table, we had enough dishes only for one meal for all of us and three guests, toys were sorted and anything not open-play or broken was given away or tossed, etc... I minimised. At that time, dp was away for 7 weeks and other training periods, so this was necessary for us. It was very freeing.

A huge aspect of our renovations right now is multi-purpose built-ins. This reduces the work of maintenance/cleaning by a very significant amount. If that appeals to you for your new home, you might also find a considerable lessening of housework. I make my house extremely practical; I have to live in it and keep it up, so that takes precedence over anything else, given that an organised, tidy house is one that feels most comfortable to me and dp and also our dc (though doubtful they have formalised that for themselves; they are obviously happier and more creative in a tidy space).

Anyway, I just thought I'd share some of the drastic things I've done to get on top of the mess in case they might help or encourage you too. If not, that's okay too, and I can commiserate with you at the moment with the renos going on and everything topsy-turvy in spite of an other-wise non-cluttered house.

Oh, and reeeeelaaaaaaax! Even if you have to sit facing a corner to not see what's going on around you.







I have done this. It helps sometimes, like plugging my ears and saying 'lalalala,' but for my eyes.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mama~Love* 

My EDD is Dec. 9th, what are your ladies'?

Dec. 10-- I'm always 2 weeks overdue though, LOL!


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## Mama~Love (Dec 8, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
Dec. 10-- I'm always 2 weeks overdue though, LOL!









Me too! Wow, we're just a day apart







!!


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## rajahkat (Oct 1, 2003)

Egads, my period started today.

Elm is 9 weeks old. That was quick!


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## dkenagy (Jun 25, 2004)

MoMs! I haven't visited here in a while and I come back to see that everyone is pregnant again!!! Yay babies!

I've made it to 35 weeks with this little guy; hoping to totally avoid the pre-e this time that totally caught me off-guard last time! I've gotten all the baby stuff ready and the house has been ready (and then messy again, then clean, then messy--usually at different times of the same day!!). Just looking at all these tiny diapers all washed up and ready to use again makes me SO happy! I can't wait to meet this little guy!


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## pixiekisses (Oct 14, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
Dec. 10-- I'm always 2 weeks overdue though, LOL!


Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mama~Love* 







Me too! Wow, we're just a day apart







!!


I'm december 14th. And I'm usually weeks or months before, but the goal of this one is to get to around my due date anyway.


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## gardenmommy (Nov 23, 2001)

Congratulations Mamas! I hope all of your pregnancies are smooth sailing. I have to say, I am SO glad to be on the other side of birth, and holding my sweet newborn. She is just a doll! I'm snuggling her right now, all swaddled up, because that's how she likes to sleep. I have to fight off the older kids so I can hold her, though. They think she is the bomb!


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## prairiebird (Jun 1, 2008)

Congratulations to all the expectant moms! I hope you have easy pregnancies and the deliveries you want!

Wow, it's certainly been a busy few weeks with news! I'm still out of touch a bit because of my c-section problems and breastfeeding problems (I'm fairly shocked to have had problems after nursing babies for around 18 months each).

DH has decided to hold off on the vas now because he doesn't want to make a family planning decision so close to our rough experience. I still have the dream of 7 children, but I am absolutely thrilled with my 3 and 3. If this is it, I'll be okay, but I think I'll always have that desire for a new baby. He's actually the one who wanted a football team, so I can understand his reluctance. It's interesting to see how many of you are expecting tie-breaker babies! That'd be our #7 if I desire, but after this traumatic c-section thing, I don't know if I can go though all that again. I think I'll re-evaluate how I feel when the new baby is ~3 years old. It'd be my widest spacing yet, and I might be ready to be done with diapers by then.

I'm just entering the phase where my older kids are really getting into all their sports and groups. I can't imagine how busy I'll be when everyone is doing scouts and 4H and soccer and football and karate and...







I don't know how y'all with > 8 kids do it!


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## PreggieUBA2C (Mar 20, 2007)

Hey mamas!









I have a MoM question.

Our children are closely spaced, which no doubt has a lot to do with this issue, but I am finding it really challenging, so I thought you might have some ideas, advice, reassurances or commiseration for me.









It happens that when there is a conflict, there is not just an issue that can be worked through, but an eruption. One things goes 'wrong' and within a millisecond, there are three or four children all completely freaking out at once.

I am with them all the time, and I know what triggers conflicts and we do try to arrange our actions- all of us, even the youngest- to make sure that everyone's needs are met. I'm not asking about those times when they are hungry or tired or an obvious trigger has been missed for some reason, but those times when it cannot be foreseen and they are otherwise fine. They finish their eruption about as fast as they began, too, but in the meanwhile, they need me to intervene because in the intensity of the moment, they can be dangerous to one another. They are not intentionally hurting one another, but they can be so fast and furious in their movements that they end up hitting each other in their effort to grab something or make right what bothered them. They go into hyper-speed.

Anyway, I hope that's at least as clear as mud. What I'm wondering about is how to better handle intervention. There simply isn't time to do what we normally do, which is to discuss, negotiate, consider one another's needs and desires, etc.... It's like I'm a referee in a wrestling match suddenly and for a second or two, I am physically holding two or three or four children apart from one another. Is that the best I can do?

Do you have this experience too? It reminds me of when a strange cat would end up in very close proximity to our cat in our yard and the two would just suddenly erupt into a hissing, scratching, freaking out moment that would end just as suddenly and then everything was fine again because the strange cat would scurry away and our cat would relax and lay down to bask in the sun- like nothing even happened.

The tension of those moments for me is very high, and when they calm and continue on as though nothing happened, I feel tired right away (I'm also pg), and I shouldn't leave out the youngest (28 months); he seems to need a recovery period too, if he was involved, but he normally isn't. Is it just the stages the three older ones are at that produces this, like the conditions required to produce a solar eclipse?

I'm baffled by this. I just think I would like to handle it better than 'jumping in the ring' grabbing and pulling them apart, yk? But there just isn't time for anything else, and I've noticed that if I don't do that, and someone does end up hit, then it can turn into a full-scale conflict and they are not even open to talking about it because they are wrapped up in the experience.

What do you think?


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Well, mamas, I had my ultrasound today. Not only are we pregnant with number 5, but with number 6 as well. !!!!!!!!!


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## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
Well, mamas, I had my ultrasound today. Not only are we pregnant with number 5, but with number 6 as well. !!!!!!!!!
























































































Congrats! Sooooo awesome!


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## fairyannanicole (Mar 19, 2010)

I am joining the thread a bit late in the month. I normally just hang out in pregnancy and October birth boards. I really have no major plans for April, we made it through Easter, spring cleaning, I have had a few major exams and assignments due. Boys are getting ready for summer break. I am getting ready to plot my garden and seed my indoor starters







It is great to meet you all!!!


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
Well, mamas, I had my ultrasound today. Not only are we pregnant with number 5, but with number 6 as well. !!!!!!!!!

Congratulations!


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## pixiekisses (Oct 14, 2008)

Oh, AM, that is awesome, congrats!









Sam! How are you?


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## mclisa (Jul 26, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
Well, mamas, I had my ultrasound today. Not only are we pregnant with number 5, but with number 6 as well. !!!!!!!!!


















Wow! Oh my gosh. How exciting!

There are a lot of additions on this board! Maybe by checking in some of your baby dust will land here so DH can get his 6th and final one.


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## zjande (Nov 4, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
Well, mamas, I had my ultrasound today. Not only are we pregnant with number 5, but with number 6 as well. !!!!!!!!!

WOW! How exciting! CONGRATULATIONS!!


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## baltic_ballet (May 17, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
Well, mamas, I had my ultrasound today. Not only are we pregnant with number 5, but with number 6 as well. !!!!!!!!!
















Congrats!! Oh my goodness I am so happy for you
















Another set of twins for our Mums of Many group


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## baltic_ballet (May 17, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pixiekisses* 
Sam! How are you?

We all have colds









My husband has man flu and thinks he's sicker than everybody else in house









How are you Pix? how's you little miss going?


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## pixiekisses (Oct 14, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *baltic_ballet* 
We all have colds









My husband has man flu and thinks he's sicker than everybody else in house









How are you Pix? how's you little miss going?

Aw, that sucks. Hope you all feel better real soon!
How's Soph and Nate doing? How old are they now? (Still tiny babies in my head.)

I have no idea how I am. But right now, little miss and all the others are doing so well, they are all good! And that helps. We really are enjoying the days here.









Where's Helen btw, anyone seen her lately?


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## baltic_ballet (May 17, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pixiekisses* 
Aw, that sucks. Hope you all feel better real soon!

How's Soph and Nate doing? How old are they now? (Still tiny babies in my head.)

Soph and Nate are doing well thanks, they are three and half months old (born on 7th Jan 2010)

Great news also, Bronte now loves the twins and hugs and kisses them at any opportunity she gets.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pixiekisses* 
Where's Helen btw, anyone seen her lately?

I haven't seen Helen here in awhile, I hope she is ok.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Sam, it's good to see you here-- another twin mama brain to pick, LOL!

And I miss Helen.









DH is so funny. He says that if we were just having one everyone would be all ":yawning







Yeah, yeah, another baby." But twins! Now that's exciting!


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## pixiekisses (Oct 14, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *baltic_ballet* 
Soph and Nate are doing well thanks, they are three and half months old (born on 7th Jan 2010)

Great news also, Bronte now loves the twins and hugs and kisses them at any opportunity she gets.

Oh, they're getting big! I'm glad they are doing well, and that Bronte loves them so much, awesome.









I hope Helen's ok too.

AM, twins are awesome though.


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## ~Demeter~ (Jul 22, 2006)

Followed the link from my ddc







I've participated in a few chats over here before but I always wind up losing the thread even if I am subscribed.









Wow, congrats, Annette! Twins









I'm incubating #5. I had a miscarriage in December and 6 weeks later was pregnant again. I haven't told my family yet because I don't want to hear any negativity and I know I will, so for now I'm just waiting for someone to notice.


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## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

annette, congrats & more congrats!!









thanks everyone for their replies from my last post, they were much appreciated.

im so happy to see some of my DDC mamas here. we have a LOT of MOM's









There are only a few MOM's here in my town.. one whom i know only really by word of mouth. she isnt spoken well of either.. referred to as that "crazy lady with 10 kids" and other mean things...i think more of it comes from how she parents, but i cant say anything..i really dont know. the other 2 families i really dont know either.. one of them is a homeschooling family who i will likely get to know better next year when im homeschooling my 2 school aged children.. she is trained in waldorf education and does some really great stuff in town for the festivals. then there is my friend with trips and a younger son..she is great.
There is another family who lives a bot out of town, but i have only seen her in passing. I would like get to know more moms of many in real life.

for those of you wondering about *helen*, she is ok. i think she just has her hands full. she is on my facebook and keeps updated most days.


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## mataji4 (Sep 28, 2006)

Holy moly, babies are coming!!!

Congratulations pixie, molly, and goodness gracious annettemarie!! So happy for you! Best wishes for your pregnancies!!









I'm hanging out pregnant. 26 weeks today! Love this baby.

We're always engaged in major building/yard projects too...right now we're doing a whole mess of "little" things, touch up paint and reorganizing rooms. I feel like I go on way too many errands to the hardware store. I need to get out and look at an interior door for our kitchen- recently realized how totally gross our's is!- but I don't want to drive. Or rather, I don't want to drag the kids out on errands.


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## baltic_ballet (May 17, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MamaFern* 
for those of you wondering about *helen*, she is ok. i think she just has her hands full. she is on my facebook and keeps updated most days.









Thanks for letting us know about Helen, I can understand about the hands full part, I would be here more often if I had the spare time.


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## baltic_ballet (May 17, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
Sam, it's good to see you here-- another twin mama brain to pick, LOL!


Aww







feel free to ask me anything


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## suziek (Jun 4, 2004)

babies! babies! babies! such wonderful new, women. i'm happy for you all--and feel a touch something--not envy, more like nostalgia and longing mixed--I can't define. fantastic news!!!

I posted a while ago, looking for some sleep advice. Anyone?

Signed, not sleeping much and starting to feel grumpy.


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## gardenmommy (Nov 23, 2001)

Congratulations mamas! I think having twins would be an amazing, crazy journey!

Ok, so I am wondering, we've reached the 3 week mark. Please encourage me that we are at, or approaching the hump point. I don't know how many more crazy-making days I can take. I *really* just want to feel like myself again, to not be on the hormonal rollercoaster of PP. I've had some good days this week, which is an improvement over last week, where most of it was pretty lousy feeling. Also, DD has decided that she can only sleep in 90 min.-2 hour increments. Being sleep-deprived isn't helping, either. Like I said, I just need some encouragement.


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## mataji4 (Sep 28, 2006)

gardenmommy, do you mean 3 weeks postpartum? I think that's the zenith of the hump! By 5 or 6 weeks pp I always started to feel more "normal," and the baby and its routine felt more naturally integrated into the family. 3 weeks is not very long to adjust to a new family member/a little new needy baby! Hang in there and enjoy the little-ness.


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## pixiekisses (Oct 14, 2008)

Hugs to you, gardenmommy!

I saw and heard Bean's little heartbeat today!








Pure magic.









(Full story here.)


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## mclisa (Jul 26, 2004)

Oh Pixie! How sweet to hear that heart beat!

I'm sick with pneumonia so I'm glad I got my period this week. I would feel to guilty to be taking the serious antibiotics, cough medicine, and hot baths otherwise.

I'm busy dreaming up baby names. I want to find an interesting word and use its version in another language. I'm looking at French, Swiss, Swedish, Norwegian. I'm just not finding what I want yet.


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## mclisa (Jul 26, 2004)

alva = elf in Swedish

too weird?


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## mclisa (Jul 26, 2004)

libelle = dragonfly (swiss)

too similar to libel?


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## peaceful_mama (May 27, 2005)

Last week of Nov. EDD here (29th by MW wheel o'dates, 28th by US, 27th by Google, which I did before my appt.







)

Went 9 days before with one child totally natural and a week over with the last one.....so I'm expecting this one will show somewhere between mid-nov. and the first week of Dec.

On a Friday, of course, because the other 3 were Fridays.


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## pixiekisses (Oct 14, 2008)

mdisa, thanks! And I love Alva!
Names are hard here, they have to work in english, french and norwegian. Well, they get two names and together they have to work in all languages. And not popular names, and I'm very picky. Glad we have another 7 months or so.


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## gardenmommy (Nov 23, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mataji4* 
gardenmommy, do you mean 3 weeks postpartum? I think that's the zenith of the hump! By 5 or 6 weeks pp I always started to feel more "normal," and the baby and its routine felt more naturally integrated into the family. 3 weeks is not very long to adjust to a new family member/a little new needy baby! Hang in there and enjoy the little-ness.

Yes, I know. I am just SO ready to feel some semblance of normalcy, to feel more like myself, and less like a hormonal crazy woman, lol. I'm sure it would help if DD slept longer stretches at night. I'm thinking she may be sensitive to something, dairy perhaps.

pixiekisses, I can't imagine having those requirements for names. It was hard enough to name DD3! She was 10 days old before DH and I agreed on a name. Good luck!


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## rajahkat (Oct 1, 2003)

You'll get there! And when you do, you'll miss those first brand new baby days. Sigh. They go so fast!

For me, it seems that those 1st few days/weeks are deceptively easy. I'm expecting a rough transition, but when babe gets here,all he does is sleep so I have much more time to get things accomplished than I planned. THEN I'm lured into a false sense of "this is a piece of cake!" It's about that 3 week mark that everything goes haywire, the babe wants to be held twelve hours a day, won't go down for the evening until 10 even though I'm dying by 7:30, and the kids are loving frozen pizza & chocolate cake because that's what the eldest can cook by himself!









I wouldn't trade it though. Elm is such a sweetie, and for the most part I think we've settled somewhat. He's coming up on 3 months now. And I'm finding it really interesting that I'm thinking "well, okay, maybe one more" Instead of being perfectly content to be done like I felt after Durian.

Kat


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## gardenmommy (Nov 23, 2001)

I'm thinking that DD has a sensitivity to something in my diet, dairy perhaps. She has been so fussy and cranky I just want to run away. Today was the best day we've had for several days. She actually had a 30 minute period where she was happy! I hate using the pacifier, but it seems to be one of the few things that actually calms her; she just gets mad and screams when I try to get her to nurse after she has already eaten. I'm really hoping that she will figure out the world a bit more, and then become a bit easier to settle. I know it was probably wishful thinking, but I was hoping for a slightly easier baby, having had 2 high needs babies, and 2 slightly less high needs, lol. I know we'll all survive somehow.


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## MyFullHouse (Apr 23, 2010)

I'm so happy to find a MOM thread!!!

I'm surrounded by enough moms of 4 IRL to keep me from feeling like an abnormally large family (though I do hold the record for 2 generations in my family







) but I don't know a single soul IRL with 5.

This is a pretty big transition for me, considering we never actually intended to have a large family. It just sort of sneaked up on us!

I am completely unorganized and lazy, so now I feel like I have to revamp my entire life in the next 8 months in order to make this work. But that's crazy, right? RIGHT????


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## baltic_ballet (May 17, 2007)

Welcome Carrie


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## Multimomma (Jan 25, 2008)

Hi all








I show up in stages, but wanted to come and tell everyone I'm pregnant with #9, due Dec 15th. Reading up, sounds like quite a few of us MoMs are due.


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## ChildoftheMoon (Apr 9, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MyFullHouse* 
I'm so happy to find a MOM thread!!!

This is a pretty big transition for me, considering we never actually intended to have a large family. It just sort of sneaked up on us!


Ditto!

Hello all! I have just been a lurker on this thread and now I feel like I should at least speak up and say hi, as I am expecting #6 (#5 here on Earth)- due December 23rd.








~Brandi


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## baltic_ballet (May 17, 2007)

Welcome and congrats Multimomma























Welcome and congrats Brandi


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## Mama~Love (Dec 8, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Multimomma* 
Hi all








I show up in stages, but wanted to come and tell everyone I'm pregnant with #9, due Dec 15th. Reading up, sounds like quite a few of us MoMs are due.









Wow, congrats







!!!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ChildoftheMoon* 
Ditto!

Hello all! I have just been a lurker on this thread and now I feel like I should at least speak up and say hi, as I am expecting #6 (#5 here on Earth)- due December 23rd.








~Brandi

And congrats to you too, Brandi







!!

So, that makes 9 of us due in Nov/Dec? Wow,







.


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## Multimomma (Jan 25, 2008)

thanks for the welcomes...I subbed, i don't know why I'm not getting the updates. Hopefully I'll be able to hang out a bit more. So far I'm fairly ill, so I'm having to spend a lot of time laying down. Thankfully in our big ol' family, the kids are used to helping out, and they roll on without me lol!


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## mataji4 (Sep 28, 2006)

Love this poem Chris posted on her blog-

www.notesfromthetrenches.com/

Hi to all the "new" people!

and Kat, I don't know about you having one more...what does that mean for me? You're one of two people I feel like I'm following in reproduction- you get pregnant, then months later I get pregnant. Could we maybe discuss this before you decide to have another???


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## ChildoftheMoon (Apr 9, 2002)

Thanks for the welcome and congrats ladies









The nausea has really kicked in the last two days, I wish I could sleep all day!
I am happy that the summer camps my oldest kids have signed up for don't start until the second trimester starts. We have a pretty mellow time starting next week all the way until I am 14 weeks. Hooray for that.


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