# Would you let an overseas tourist take a photo of your child?



## bits and bobs (Apr 7, 2008)

We were visiting another state and in one of its major tourist destinations. It was pouring with rain and DD had on a super-cute rain-jacket. An elderly Asian lady tapped me on the arm and indicated she wanted to take a photo of DD, who was 4. I gestured yes, and the photo was taken.

I know I have taken photos of kids, families, people when travelling overseas as it's part of the pulse of that country. It made me pause though when it was my child although in the end I was ok with it. DD didn't mind either. DS asked lots of questions about why someone would want to take photos of her









Thoughts?


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## calpurnia (Sep 26, 2004)

i instantly thought of the photos that people post in the babywearing forum of children & people babywearing overseas









anyway, no i wouldn't have a problem with someone taking a photo of my child, i don't think. it's never arisen though (not with a stranger)


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## choli (Jun 20, 2002)

Why would someone have a problem with it?


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## Whispers (Feb 18, 2009)

I've had people ask to take pictures of me wearing ds. I really don't mind.


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## ann_of_loxley (Sep 21, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *choli* 
Why would someone have a problem with it?

For the same reason that people don't like to post photos of their child anywhere on the internet = sickos/pedos/etc

I personally wouldn't have a problem with it in that situations - I think it was really kind of her to ask you!


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## expatmommy (Nov 7, 2006)

It happens to us almost every day. While in principal I don't have a huge problem with it, practically speaking we've started to say no. Our kids have told us that they feel really uncomfortable being the object of attention so we are taking our lead from them. I think the requests are benign & without ill intent.


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## Malva (Nov 2, 2005)

I think it's the same thing as when North Americans go to Asia or Africa and come back with pictures of local kids. I have no problem with it.


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## treemom2 (Oct 1, 2003)

We live in Japan. Often when we are out people ask to take their pics with our children (especially our blonde DD). We don't have a problem with it. . .I've been to other countries and taken loads of pics of children.


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## nznavo (Aug 9, 2004)

It has happened to us a lot and I've always struggled with it. We're (white) expats living in Asia. I used to say yes, now my son is older and uncomfortable with it so we say no. I don't really take photos of other people when I travel, which I guess it why I struggle with it. I agree that it's benign, I just find it uncomfortable that different looking people are tourist attractions.


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

the last time I went on vacation with my kids I had so many people ask to take pictures of them. All but one were American . . . .what can I say though . . .I have rediculously cute kiddos and they were rockin the cuteness the first two days of our trip


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## Hey Mama! (Dec 27, 2003)

Yes. When we lived in Hawaii we often had Asian tourists indicate they would like to take a picture of our very blonde daughter. She was a toddler at the time and didn't seem to notice. She just loved the attn when they would fawn all over her.


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## ChetMC (Aug 27, 2005)

Yeah. This happens to us too. It's mostly been Asian tourists. The kids like doing it, and the people are always super nice to us and the kids. I don't have any problem with it.

When we took the kids trick-or-treating last year me and my mom made great cupcake costumes. We also also got several requests for photo ops then, but from Americans, and we were fine with it. Although, it's obvious that the Americans were a little nervous asking.


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## GoBecGo (May 14, 2008)

Yeah i would. I am very blonde and have had asian tourists ask if they can photgraph me or even touch my hair (i agreed if i could touch theirs back, which was actually really interesting as an experience - being so openly curious about oneanother







). So long as DD doesn't mind, i don't mind.


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## CarrieMF (Mar 7, 2004)

I was that child that mostly Asian tourists would take photos of.

We used to go to very touristy places every 2 years. It was usually our family & my mom's 1 brother's family. They have a dd who is 9 months older than me & we look like twins. Our moms would try to dress us up like twins for family events.

We were always being taken aside by Asian families to have our photos taken with them. I vividly remember our parents asking where we were & our siblings would say they're having their pictures taken over there.

Take your cue from your child.

While we never said no, we weren't 100% comfortable with it either. Our parents were not always asked, though they usually were. There were several times the families would surround us or take us aside to do it. The last time we travelled together we were 15 & it was still happening.

We would travel together for 2 weeks & it would happen at least once daily.

Our parents didn't care, though camping for 2 weeks with 7 kids in a 7 year age range I can kinda understand that.lol


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## Daphneduck (Jan 22, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GoBecGo* 
Yeah i would. I am very blonde and have had asian tourists ask if they can photgraph me or even touch my hair (i agreed if i could touch theirs back, which was actually really interesting as an experience - being so openly curious about oneanother







).


I think that's so cool.


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## karemore (Oct 7, 2008)

I'd have no trouble saying no if I felt uncomfortable or if my daughter said no.

It would depend on the circumstances. There are sick people out there, it's not something made up for law and order episodes. The thought of some pervert looking at photos of my child would make me crazy.

In the case of the older woman and the daughter in a rain coat I'd assume it was perfectly innocent. If someone wanted a picture of my dd in her gymnastic leotard or her swimsuit, I'm sure I'd say no.


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## mjg013 (Jul 29, 2008)

I have had that happen with my oldest dd when she was a child. She had long blonde hair. I never had an issue with it. One of my dd's was Raggety Ann for Halloween one year and everyone wanted to take pictures of her then too.


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## EdnaMarie (Sep 9, 2006)

no and i always ask when traveling. i guess i'm uptight about it but pictures are very personal to me.

if someone wanted to touch my hair or clothes that would be different. they can't take it with them, you know?


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ann_of_loxley* 
For the same reason that people don't like to post photos of their child anywhere on the internet = sickos/pedos/etc

I personally wouldn't have a problem with it in that situations - I think it was really kind of her to ask you!

Eh, I wouldn't have a problem. But I have kid pics on the internet too. Someone else looking at a pic of my kid doesn't hurt my kid even if they're creeps.

-Angela


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

when ds was little, we visited Victoria island and there were a lot of Asian tourists there. Ds had light blond hair and huge blue eyes and a lot of Chinese "grandmothers" fell in love with him.

I said yes to their taking a picture because I felt it was done with good intent. They were enthralled with this beautiful (







) child who looked so different from what they were used to.


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## PoetryMom (Mar 29, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ann_of_loxley* 
For the same reason that people don't like to post photos of their child anywhere on the internet = sickos/pedos/etc


Ditto


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## Sasharna (Nov 19, 2008)

The pervert reason isn't the only possibility. I don't let any strangers take our photos at this point because I've taken many pains to conceal our current appearance and whereabouts from someone who means us harm. I really appreciate when people ask first.


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## hippiemommaof4 (Mar 31, 2008)

a lot of people from those countries are fascinated by the way many american people look so different here. like our buddy is black and when he visited an asian country once, people would stop him and ask to take pics with him...he said they would do it to people with red hair too and blondes because most people in those countries dont naturally have those features. its kind of funny when he tells the story. nak


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

i have to say it makes a differene to me who was asking about the pictures. if it was family, grandmother, lady etc it would be one thing and I wouldn't care. if it was some guy . . . no.


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## Snuzzmom (Feb 6, 2008)

When we were in Vienna, my dad kept taking pictures of a little girl and I thought her dad was gonna kill him. I had to ask my dad several times to stop before he would... I just thought it was incredibly rude, and it was probably pretty creepy to the little girl's father. My dad just thought she was cute. ???

If someone just randomly was taking pictures of DS, I'd probably just block their view. If they got more aggressive about it, I'd ask what they were doing and then probably tell them to stop.

If they asked, I'd ask why and then probably let them.


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## ar2974 (Nov 19, 2006)

I live in NYC and my dd has white blond hair and big blue eyes so it's a regular occurrence mostly with Asian tourists. They usually ask first though. If she doesn't want her photo taken that's different, but I don't mind.


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## adaliabarclay (May 25, 2009)

Well i hadn't any problem with that , honestly i feel proud when some one ask me to take my daughters pic and say oh so sweet baby . but now as she's growing up , she's feeling bit uncomfortable so we say no to them


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## Marsupialmom (Sep 28, 2003)

I have let strangers take pictures of my kids........I have asked.

I have one from halloween....I thought the family and kid was so cute.


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## baltic_ballet (May 17, 2007)

No, you don't know what they would use the photo for.


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## Bluegoat (Nov 30, 2008)

I don't have a problem with it - I figure if she is in public then people can see her already, whether they are weirdo's or perverts or not.

I might feel odd if someone wanted to take a picture in her bathing suit, on the other hand, I'm not sure it's logical. After all, I let her go out in the bathing suit in public - if it's suggestive, then should I let her wear it at all?


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## EviesMom (Nov 30, 2004)

I don't mind, but one asian teen asked to take a pic, then proceeded to pick up my then-2 yo-DD to take a pic. That freaked me out!


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## newbymom05 (Aug 13, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *choli* 
Why would someone have a problem with it?

When I was a community educator I attended several seminars on predators given by various law enforcement agencies. Believe me, there are some really sick people out there, and part of the reason they get away w/ it is that they're very inventive, and they "seem" so normal at the time. People fetish the strangest things, esp where children are concerned. In the OP's sitch I prolly wouldn't have thought "sexual predator", but knowing what I know, I would be uncomfortable w/ anyone taking my children's picture. sometimes, too much knowledge can be a bad thing.


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## Caneel (Jun 13, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *EdnaMarie* 
no and i always ask when traveling. i guess i'm uptight about it but pictures are very personal to me.

if someone wanted to touch my hair or clothes that would be different. they can't take it with them, you know?


This.

Part of the picture issue with me is my DH's crazy family, we are extremely selective about who we allow to have DS's picture. May sound extreme to someone who doesn't have experience with our type of crazies but we are still always on guard.

Another thing that influences my feelings is I grew up in an area with a large Amish and Mennonite population. Picture taking of them just because they look different is *not ok*. I guess I carried this feeling thru to all people who may look different from me.

Yet, and this may be completely contridictory, I would have no problem speaking to a foreign visitor for expressed an interest in my DS's blond hair or anything else like a unique stroller, carrier, etc.


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## Caneel (Jun 13, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Snuzzmom* 
If someone just randomly was taking pictures of DS, I'd probably just block their view. If they got more aggressive about it, I'd ask what they were doing and then probably tell them to stop.


This happened to us. It was a commercial photographer at a Day Out with Thomas event - one of those "let us take your family picture but you don't have to buy it" things.

Since we had no intention of purchasing one, I said no. He raised his camera up and I blocked his shot. He then got aggressive with me and said something like "tell your Mommy you want your picture taken, maybe it will be on the website."

Well that was the end of that, I said (almost in a yell) "please leave us alone, we DON'T want our picture taken, I don't want to argue with your, we want to enjoy our train ride!"" It attracted the attention of the entire train car and the photographer scampered away.

I felt a bit weird about it afterwards than thought, scr*w it - he wouldn't take no for an answer AND infringed on my family's right to enjoy our ride in peace.


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## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

No, I wouldn't have a problem with it.

Speaking of this... my brother is currently living in Bangladesh setting up health care clinics for the very poor, and some of the most amazing pics I have seen on his flickr are of very small children there. It's one thing to tell the story about how their lives are, but it's a whole other experience to share real pictures of what he sees everyday.

ETA: Oh, and I just thought of this. While not a tourist, a strange person took my kids' pics last weekend at an Art Festival w/o asking. I honestly didn't think much of it. From the looks of her, I would assume she was taking pics for a newspaper or some sort of publication. I do wish I had asked her what she was snapping photo's for b/c I would love to see copies. My LO's were doing a really neat art project with one of the vendors.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

I'd have a problem with it if I got a bad vibe from the person with the camera, or if my kids weren't comfortable. (They'd have about a 0.05% chance of dd agreeing to it.) Other than that, I'd be fine with it.


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## kirstenb (Oct 4, 2007)

It's not really something that would bother me in general as long as DS didn't mind. I'd say no if something didn't seem right about it or DS didn't want to.


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## Jessy1019 (Aug 6, 2006)

Sure! I bet my kids would think it was neat that they were going to be in someone's photo album, all the way across the world!

When we were visiting the Statue of Liberty years and years ago, I went to climb it with my friends and my mom was hanging out down below . . . and some tourists asked her to pose with them. She thought it was hysterical, and went along with it, of course.


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## Bell (Jan 20, 2009)

I don't know. It never happened here. I don't see anything wrong although the internet is out there and you don't know who is using your child's picture.


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## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *newbymom05* 
When I was a community educator I attended several seminars on predators given by various law enforcement agencies. Believe me, there are some really sick people out there, and part of the reason they get away w/ it is that they're very inventive, and they "seem" so normal at the time. People fetish the strangest things, esp where children are concerned. In the OP's sitch I prolly wouldn't have thought "sexual predator", but knowing what I know, I would be uncomfortable w/ anyone taking my children's picture. sometimes, too much knowledge can be a bad thing.









Are you saying that they use the pictures to somehow memorize and mark out a specific child for future predation?


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## Logan's mommy (Jan 19, 2007)

As long as I was asked first I don't think I'd have a problem with it. Ds2 loves the camera (and he's seriously adorable







see my siggy) but there's no way ds1 would let someone he doesn't know take his picture, he won't even let me take his picture.









If I was going to take a picture of someone's child I would ask first (I'm a bit of a photographer) and if I was told no, it wouldn't be a big deal. There's no way I would take a picture of someone's kid with out asking, that would be creepy.


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## velochic (May 13, 2002)

We were sitting on a bench along the Thames at the White Tower (Tower of London) a year or so ago. Just kind of hanging out and eating a croissant... and were swarmed by a group of Korean Tourists asking to have their picture taken with dd. It was kind of weird and funny at the same time... they lined up getting their pictures taken with dd, feeling her hair, and talking about how pretty she is. Of course *I* think she's adorable, but I also am not the kind of parent that thinks that everyone does necessarily, and I was, I admit, a tad bit uncomfortable at first. But they were very nice and ecstatic for some odd reason to find out that we were American and not just a couple of Brits hanging out. It was kind of a fun and memorable event and was harmless. I don't necessarily think the people that take pix of your kids are perverts. Nature gave us our mothering instincts for a reason. As long as my mama hackles didn't raise, I'd be fine with people taking pictures of my kiddo.


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

I'm very cautious about posting pictures of my kids online, but in the situation described in the OP, I wouldn't have a problem with it at all.


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## Oonah (Jul 28, 2004)

A few years ago, while visiting the Taj Mahal, a Buddhist monk asked to have his photo taken with DS. They both had cleanly shaven heads. It was a pretty neat photo...one for the scrapbook for sure.
It didn't bother us at all.


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## newbymom05 (Aug 13, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lolar2* 
Are you saying that they use the pictures to somehow memorize and mark out a specific child for future predation?

No. I would be worried that a person who was sexually aroused by children would want a picture for his own deviant reasons. There was this one guy/registered sex offender who would go to art festivals and community events and take pictures of children in diapers. That was his freak. It didn't harm the children, but the thought of something like that skeeves me out totally, and that's why *I* would be uncomfortable w/ a stranger taking my (adorable!) children's picture.


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## battymama (Jan 15, 2008)

I wouldnt have a problem with it, when i was little i had quite a few taken of me by asian tourists







I think it was because i had extremmly long blond hair, am pale with big blue eyes, i must of looked unusual. Once when my mum and i were on a coach tour we befriended some ladies from japan, they asked if they could touch my hair because they had never seen hair like it. I was 12 then and i said sure. We actually were penpalls with them for a few years


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## MangoMommy (Oct 20, 2008)

I've had this happen at the beach. We live in Honolulu (lots of Japanese tourists) and were in Waikik beach for the day. Our kids were playing w/their sand toys and invited a little Japanese girl to join them (similar age.) They all 3 played for awhile and made a big sand castle,etc. At one point, the parents motioned about taking a pic of my kids and I said ok and gave a thumbs up and they took a few pics of our kids playing with theirs. I figured to them, they just thought it was neat their little girl was making friends in Hawaii,etc.


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## BroodyWoodsgal (Jan 30, 2008)

I think that an OBVIOUS tourist, who is enthralled with a little blond haired, all-american looking baby child wanting to take a picture...is completely different than a man snaping photos at a music fesitval of children in diapers.

I think if someone is genuinely excited to see a cute American kiddo, that excitement is pretty clear and obvious and coming from a healthy place...and so long as my child was cool with it, I would totally welcome the on-the-fly cultural exchange. Talk about a neat-o way for my child to feel unique! What a thing to think about for your kid. Being in our own element...we think "Oh, people in other places look so different!" - but how cool for your kid to really be exposed to the other side of that "Wow, I look so different to people who come from other places!" - that's neat.

SO...yeah. It'd be cool with me, unless my mama-sense was telling me something was off or my kiddo didn't like it.....but a whole mod of Korean tourists who think my little girls blond curls are amazing!! That's COOL! Plus...I think her little curls are amazing too...you should see how much time I spend taking pictures of them!!


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