# Masturbating in car seat



## onlygirls (Mar 16, 2008)

I am really uncomfortable with this because my daughter is 7. I have asked her to stop when we are in the car and she is pressing against her car seat, but she still does it. Now she had a bruise on her vulva from the car seat. I talked to her tonight and said that if she wants to touch herself she can do it in her room but not in the car with the rest of the family. She confirmed that she is doing it because it "tickles" not because of pain. We recently got a book from the library about reproduction and all that fun stuff. I have no problem with that but the carseat thing is driving me batty. I think she does it because she is bored.

Any ideas on how to get her to stop while we are in the car? I have heard of this happening with younger kids at 2 or 3 but I think at 7 she is old enough to understand that she needs to do it in private.


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

I would treat it like other embarrassing behavior- try to ignore it and see if it goes away.

-Angela


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## mrsfrenchy (Apr 14, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alegna* 
I would treat it like other embarrassing behavior- try to ignore it and see if it goes away.

-Angela

That...and make sure she has some fun stuff to do in the car. Maybe some toys or coloring books or something that are only for the car.

Good luck.


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## onlygirls (Mar 16, 2008)

I have tried to ignore it and to be honest, I have no idea how often she is doing it. We have an SUV and she is in the 3rd row. The last time I can remember was was when we were waiting for DH in the car for a few minutes and I looked back to check on her.

I don't think it is appropriate to do in the car and I hope she understands that after our talk this evening.

We usually have a lot of stuff in the car like books or toys and I don't like cleaning it out, but I will offer her something to do before we leave.

I guess my point for writing this is because I am wondering if she should be old enough to have modesty at this age and WANT to do it in private. I respect her privacy. If her door is closed I knock and ask if I can come in so I would be ok with that in private.


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## amcal (Jan 13, 2003)

I think it's fine to put rules on behaviors like that. It's not appropriate to be masturbating in the car in front of others. So, I would just keep reminding her of the rule. I wouldn't make it any bigger deal than any other unacceptable public behavior but, I wouldn't hesitate to continue to remind her about the rule.

It's a difficult line because you don't want to shame but, it is important for her to learn that there are social boundaries associated with masturbation and it's your job as her parent to teach her these boundaries.


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## chfriend (Aug 29, 2002)

My dd who is now 8 did this until she was out of a 5 point harness. Could your daughter move to a booster?

My kid has sensory issues and was *much* more comfortable out of the harness (and plenty big enough before someone jumps on me).

Is it possible she's just outgrown her seat? Could she move out of the 3rd row so she's a bit more included in conversation?

The joke I made at the time is that this is the reason adults are not in the 5 point harness.


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## onlygirls (Mar 16, 2008)

She is in a Britax Regent so the seat is big enough. She has been doing this since she was little and now I think it is a habit that she has to break. :







:: I guess I could put her in a booster, but we are in a rural area where the speed limit is 65+ and there are deer everywhere. I feel safer with her in a Regent.

We can't move her b/c my youngest two are in the middle in captain's chairs. Maybe I can keep her busy with her Leapster as a car toy.


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## ColwynsMommy (Aug 2, 2004)

I think that she is probably old enough to understand the rules. If it's a habit, though, and with the way she's sitting, I'm sure it'll be a hard thing to stop.

My boys are 5 and 3 and they know that if they want "private time" they need to be in their room. My issue is that they totally have no problem being around each other when they're masturbating (usually it's my 3 year old in his bed, while my 5 year old is in the room looking at books or something). I just find it kind of weird.









But, yeah.. you'll probably have to check on her frequently and have several reminder talks about what the rules are. Maybe explaining the rules will help.. if she knows it makes other people uncomfortable, you know?


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Given that she's complaining that it tickles, I'd rule out thrush or an infection before you decide to ignore it.


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