# growing kids gods way



## heamae (Nov 9, 2005)

first sorry for typos...nak
my church is offering growing kids gods way and was thinking of going but was wondering what you guys thought about it. I dont know much about it yet. Im going to dp a search for it next.
thanks







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## GuildJenn (Jan 10, 2007)

Start here, especially the section where the parents tell their stories in the "voices of experience" section:

http://www.ezzo.info


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Evil

-Angela


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## heamae (Nov 9, 2005)

It seems like most of the bad things about it are with infant feeding. My two are bot BF #2 on demand. Im not going to change that but I am noy doing very good at discipling and thought it might help with that aspect. And maybe if I go and they start throwing out that feeding crap I can speek up. Im not stupid when it comes to BF.


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## ThreeBeans (Dec 2, 2006)

They recommend spanking, starving babies and other evil, disgusting things. "Growing Kid's God's Way" is a bit of a misnomer, since Jesus said that it would better for a person to be cast into the sea than to hurt a little child.

Not only should you NOT go, I would also make a big, freakin' stink about it.


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## GuildJenn (Jan 10, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heamae* 
It seems like most of the bad things about it are with infant feeding. My two are bot BF #2 on demand. Im not going to change that but I am noy doing very good at discipling and thought it might help with that aspect. And maybe if I go and they start throwing out that feeding crap I can speek up. Im not stupid when it comes to BF.

I wouldn't call attachment disorders and hitting kids for experimenting with gravity helpful. Did you read this one? http://www.ezzo.info/Voices/deepregrets.htm

But, if you are set on this being helpful, there is not much that we can say to dissuade you.


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## candipooh (Jun 22, 2004)

So so very glad you came here to ask before you went.

It is NOT gentle discipline AT ALL>

It isn't just the breastfeeding thing. It is of the thinking that "spare the rod spoil the child" mean to hit your children. It doesn't mean that. Read dulce de leche's post here called

Quote:

Pastor's response to spanking letter


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## dulce de leche (Mar 13, 2005)

Actually, while the feeding stuff is horrible, the entire dynamic that it sets up regarding discipline is very unBiblical, IMO, and causes severe problems in the relationship between the child and parent. www.aolff.org has some info on it that is helpful.


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## Mom2lilpeeps (Aug 19, 2006)

I never heard of this "method" until today.







: What a sad, painful way for these children to live. The parents are missing out on so many joys.
As someone else said, "EVIL".


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## DevaMajka (Jul 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GuildJenn* 
I wouldn't call attachment disorders and hitting kids for experimenting with gravity helpful. Did you read this one? http://www.ezzo.info/Voices/deepregrets.htm


Wow I read that. So sad, but with a happy ending. Seems quite compelling.


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## Doodadsmom (May 27, 2005)

I wouldn't use any materials by Ezzo. There may well be a few useful points in the program, but not any that you wouldn't find better elsewhere, and everything's going to be framed by his general philosophy which is not kid-friendly. Even if this wasn't Ezzo, anyone who calls his child raising/discipline method 'God's way' is more than a little too sure of himself.

If you're looking for Christian resources, there are some alternatives in this thread:
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...tian+resources


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

This is from the former co-founders of GFI (the organization that promotes Growing Kids Gods' Way):

http://web.archive.org/web/200402071...me.com/GFI.htm

Quote:

If we could communicate anything with followers of GFI it would be to expose the fact that the primary emphasis in the GFI material is extra-biblical. Like many cults, GFI mentions the bible as its base however the accent in the teaching is not much more than the opinions of man.

Secondly, GFI diminishes the work of the Holy Spirit in their teaching. The GFI parenting formula neglects the Holy Spirit's influence in the life of the family and the personal life of each Christian parent. They promote a dependency on a system rather than on God.
I would recommend instead:
Gentle Christian Mothering: http://www.gentlechristianmothers.co...discipline.php
Book: Grace Based Parenting
The Sears book on Christian Parenting

There are many other ways to discipline children without going Growing Kids God's Way. Please, please check out these other resources.


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## JamieCatheryn (Dec 31, 2005)

Ezzo is very misled, some of what he recommends is abusive, much of it is counterproductive. As a Christian training up and parenting a child, always keep in the forefront God's example. God is an attached parent: His Son and us his children are to draw near to Him. God is merciful. And God is just. God disciplines primarily through good example, direct consequences, and above all unconditional love.


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## heamae (Nov 9, 2005)

Thanks everyone for your replies. I think I am going to go to the first meeting just to check it out, but I have NO plans of sticking to it!!! Its what we call life groups at our church, maybe when the new session begins I will see about doing a more gentle christian decipline!


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## heamae (Nov 9, 2005)

My mom took the class with my aunt when I was like 12. She totally believes it was great but thought it was too late to use with me. I am telling her all this stuff and she doesnt remember learning any of it. Can you help me with her and I am sure I will get crap from my aunt about it. She wants to know if its biblical how is it wrong??
I guess thats why I want to go to the first class. To show my mom and aunt that I tried it and its not for me.


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## elizawill (Feb 11, 2007)

heather, i would not recommend going in any shape, form or fashion. my husband is a minister of music and we had to take that class a few years back (it was mandatory!!!????!!!!! - yes, we are NO longer with that church!). i just hated it. the only thing i liked was "the interruption rule", which teaches your child to put their hand on you when your in the middle of a conversation if they want to ask you something. then you put your hand on their's to let them know you will be right with them. then you can say excuse me, and address your child without having them yell ...MOM... in the middle of your talking. other than that - i hated it. plus, if you buy the book (which is needed for the class) - you are supporting the ezzo's ...even if you only go to the first session, ykwim? there are great christian based parenting books out ther that would be MUCH more beneficial. GKGW was not beneficial at all, and by attending, it simply keeps the bible study (using that term very loosely!) in demand.


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## ThreeBeans (Dec 2, 2006)

Why would you go at all?


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## CherryBomb (Feb 13, 2005)

Honestly, I'd really recommend against going at all. Ezzo works very much through manipulations that seems to border on brainwashing sometimes.


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## LilyGrace (Jun 10, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heamae* 
She wants to know if its biblical how is it wrong??

Tell her one of the arguments for slavery was that it was condoned in the bible.

Or tell her that Jesus never smacked a child.









Just because someone misinterprets the bible doesn't mean that it's biblical.


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## elizawill (Feb 11, 2007)

check out the website www.gentlechristianmothers.com

you will find a lot of wonderful resources there that you can stand upon to defend gentle discipline as biblical. but honestly, whether your mother agrees with you or not is irrelevant to following your personal conviction of choosing to not hit and hurt your child. i personally don't need others to agree with me on my decision to not spank or belittle my children to know my decision is right, ykim?


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## dubfam (Nov 4, 2005)

Why even go at all? you are risking letting this crap get into your head. Not worth the risk, IMO.


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ThreeBeans* 
They recommend spanking, starving babies and other evil, disgusting things. "Growing Kid's God's Way" is a bit of a misnomer, since Jesus said that it would better for a person to be cast into the sea than to hurt a little child.

Not only should you NOT go, I would also make a big, freakin' stink about it.

I wish he had said that. It would make talking to Christians about discipline a lot easier. The verse you're referencing is:

Mark 9:42"And if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around his neck. 43If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life maimed than with two hands to go into hell, where the fire never goes out.

Luke 17: 1Jesus said to his disciples: "Things that cause people to sin are bound to come, but woe to that person through whom they come. 2It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin. 3So watch yourselves.

It refers to false prophets and teachers. The verse would be properly applied to teachers like Ezzo and Pearl, who twist the Bible to fit their warped ideas.


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## captain crunchy (Mar 29, 2005)

46An argument started among the disciples as to which of them would be the greatest. 47Jesus, knowing their thoughts, *took a little child and had him stand beside him. 48Then he said to them, "Whoever welcomes this little child in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me. For he who is least among you all-he is the greatest."*

Matthew 21:14-16
14The blind and the lame came to him at the temple, and he healed them. 15But when the chief priests and the teachers of the law saw the wonderful things he did and the children shouting in the temple area, "Hosanna to the Son of David," they were indignant.
*16"Do you hear what these children are saying?" they asked him.
"Yes," replied Jesus, "have you never read,
" 'From the lips of children and infants
you have ordained praise'?"*

The Lord says: "These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, *but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is made up only of rules taught by men.*

Philippians 4-5
4Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! *5Let your gentleness be evident to all.*

1 John 4:7-8
7Dear friends, let us love one another, for *love comes from God*. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. *8Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.*

11This is the message you heard from the beginning: *We should love one another.*

Eph 4:1-2 Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and *gentleness,* with *patience*, showing *tolerance for one another in love*

Prov 15:1 A *gentle answer* turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger

Matthew 19:13-14

13Then little children were brought to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked those who brought them.
14Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, *for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."*

Mathew 18:2-3
2He called a little child and had him stand among them. 3And he said: "I tell you the truth, *unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.*

(seems to me Jesus thought kids were pretty awesome)

The Lord says, *I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name."*Psalm 91:14 NLT

For the Lord is good. His unfailing love continues forever , and his faithfulness continues to each generation.
Psalm 100:5

The Lord is *gracious* and *merciful; slow to anger* and *great in his loving kindness*. The Lord is *good to all*, and his *mercies are over all his works.*Psalm 145:8-9

Love must be *without hypocrisy*. Detest evil; *cling to what is good.* *Show family affection to one another with brotherly love. Outdo one another in showing honor.*Romans 12:9-10

*Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful*.
Luke 6:36

He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? *To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God*.
Micah 6:8

This is my commandment, *That ye love one another, as I have loved you.* Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
John 15:12-13

Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who *controls his temper* than one who takes a city."
Proverbs 16:32

And be *kind* to one another, *tenderhearted*, *forgiving* one another, just as God in Christ forgave you.
Ephesians 4:32
*
Be perfect, be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace*; and the *God of love and peace* shall be with you.
2 Corinthians 13:11

That's the kind of God I worship... how does withholding milk from a nursing infant to "train" them or beating children fit in there?

Please don't go to that meeting. These people are (imo) the antithesis of Godly.


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## heamae (Nov 9, 2005)

Thanks everyone!! I talked with dh and mil a lot about it and we are not going at all!!!


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## sushifan (Jun 20, 2007)

I would not go, and I would write a letter to church leadership explaining the well-known dangers of this program.

Glad to hear you decided against going!


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## candipooh (Jun 22, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heamae* 
Thanks everyone!! I talked with dh and mil a lot about it and we are not going at all!!!









:


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

I was actually kicked out of the class. LMAO.

They made us sign some paperwork. You HAD to be a married and commited couple to join the class. I was a single parent... but, someone pulled some strings to get me in.

After about the third week they were talking about "Obey the first time" Children are to "Obey the first time" and answer with "yes Mother" or "Yes Father".

Children were not to be given choices... not even in the clothes they were to wear that day. They are given their clothes, and there are no arguments.

THAT is where I spoke up... I explained that my ex husband was not able to make choices at all. Just buying a pair of pants was difficult for him. I intended to teach my child to make choices from early on. I was planning to ASK her what she wanted to wear.

They asked me to leave the class. After all, I was an unmarried mother.. There was no way I could commit to the program without a husband. I would be lucky if my child was going to ba able to join society as a normal human.

My friends who went through the program (And LOVED it) would sneak me a little bit of information every now and then.

IF your child does not obey the first time, you give a second warning, telling him that he will be getting a spanking, and he should rethink his choice to disobey. If he still doesn't comply, the child puts both hands on the wall and stands there while he recieves a predetermined number of paddlings. We always spank with a paddle.. never our hands. (cuz that could confuse the child, since hands are for loving)

They did this in Target one day. Their son was two. He went out the the car, put his hands on the trunk and they spanked him HARD three times.

So, unless it is different in other areas, I think it is a very poor idea of raising children, and I seriously doubt God would think it was the best way either.


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## heamae (Nov 9, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sushifan* 
I would not go, and I would write a letter to church leadership explaining the well-known dangers of this program.

Glad to hear you decided against going!

I thought of doing this and talked it over with dh and mil and so far they think it isnt a good idea to stir up trouble about it. I was having a hard time thinking about this church that I love so much believing in it. But its lifegroup that a member has organized and while they believe in it doesnt mean the church as a whole does.


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heamae* 
I thought of doing this and talked it over with dh and mil and so far they think it isnt a good idea to stir up trouble about it. I was having a hard time thinking about this church that I love so much believing in it. But its lifegroup that a member has organized and while they believe in it doesnt mean the church as a whole does.

Maybe you could organize a lifegroup or bible study that teaches more loving discipline. You would have to do some research to find a bible study curriculum. I bet there is someone here that can give you a place to start looking.

Our school taught a secular parenting class in the evenings and it was wonderful I wish I could remember the name of it. It wouldn't work in a chuirch setting anyway, but it had a good foundation.


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## Leilalu (May 29, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alegna* 
Evil

-Angela

got that right!


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## SublimeBirthGirl (Sep 9, 2005)

I actually wouldn't even go to a church that offered this class. Clearly they have views that are completely opposite of mine (not that I'm religious, but if I were). The fact that he pretends to have any common views with God is laughable.


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heamae* 
I thought of doing this and talked it over with dh and mil and so far they think it isnt a good idea to stir up trouble about it. I was having a hard time thinking about this church that I love so much believing in it. But its lifegroup that a member has organized and while they believe in it doesnt mean the church as a whole does.

Do the pastors actually know what the program entails? If the church is offering such a course, then they are implicitly supporting it. If someone is damaged by this course, the church could be held liable. I personally hope that someone sues the pants off the Ezzo's so that they quit spreading their evilness around. Much of what they say is not biblical, it's definitely developmentally appropriate, and it can lead to serious abuse and attachment disorders.

Please do offer a gentle discipline group - that would be a very helpful thing.


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## SublimeBirthGirl (Sep 9, 2005)

If a child is raised not being allowed to make any choices, then they will make the choice to disobey as much as possible because it's the only thing that gives them any control over their lives.


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