# You're not going to believe this...



## Inspired007 (Aug 25, 2006)

So, my 20 mo. old is in a home daycare. She's been there about 4 months now. The reason she just started this daycare was b/c she was at another home daycare that we took her out of.

Plenty of things concerned me about the other daycare, for example, all day was play time. No scheduled activities, no learning, just play. I would pick up my dd and see that the daycare lady was on the couch folding her children's laundry while my child, and other's ran around the house. Um, if you have that much time on your hands, can't you be doing something productive. I'm paying your wages here, lady.

I guess my whole attitude is that if you work at home, you should still treat it like you are at WORK. Obviously this is the minority point of view, because here's what just happened at the new daycare.

My hubby is a teacher and is off for the summer so he's been dropping dd off at daycare rather late. Usually, he calls first. I am devious and I never call. I'd rather just drop in. Otherwise how am I to know what's really going on?

You should also know that this particular home daycare is licensed by the state and is always busy. In all the days that our dd has been there, she's always had children there. The oldest is usually about 2 ½.

Well, today, he didn't call before he dropped her off. At 10 am he pulls up in the driveway and guess what??? The daycare lady is outside raking up weeds in the front lawn. Where are the kids? Sitting in high chairs in the house. Alone. R U FREAKING KIDDING ME??? The daycare portion of the house is in the back so she was no where near the door. She was all the way in the front, while the kids are in the back. No way she could hear them if they screamed.

So, my easy going, calm husband (sooooo the opposite of me), prays a bit for peace and gets out of the car. She runs over to him and waterfalls of excuses begin pouring out. He said the look on her face was dam*ing. Also, he said she was so nervous and was stumbling all over her excuse for being outside.

*This lady was out here pulling my weeds and left a few so I came out and pulled them because I am a perfectionist. And before I knew it, I was out here getting caught up*

Um, that did not help you one bit. He ended up dropping dd off b/c he had lots of errands to run. He didn't say one word b/c he knew he'd blow up and there's one thing we've learned: never talk down to 1) people who make your food 2) people who handle your money and 3) people who take care of your kids.

Can you believe this? What if there was a fire? You'd never even know until the smoke made it out of the door. What if&#8230;what if&#8230;.what if&#8230;

Bottom line for me: What mother would leave her own baby in a high chair to go outside to do yard work? Not a good one. That's not something you'd do with your own child, so why would you do this with someone else's child?

Because she was trying so hard to rectify the situation lends me to believe that she truly did know it was wrong and did it anyway. That's deviousness. She obviously knows better or she wouldn't have tried to smooth it over.

So to prepare for our new baby, we were going to pull dd out for the month of July to save money. We're paid up through the end of June and there's a 2 week advance notice to quit so we're out these next two weeks even if we pull her now. We're looking for a new place to take dd in the meantime.

Do you think it's reasonable for me to take her there these next two weeks? This lady is a good person, but the mentality of a person who would leave babies/toddlers imprisoned (high chairs) alone in a house is beyond my scope of understanding.

Sorry for the long rant.

WWYD?


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## SandraS (Jan 18, 2007)

Um, seeing as how she's registered with the State, I would be pulling the child and demanding any money refunded, the heck with the two week thing. If she argues, I'd be filing complaints.

She's in violation of her contract, I'll bet. She's to provide a safe environment. Personally, I wouldn't care too much about the playing - I don't think structured activities make or break a child - but one that young being left inside alone for what was probably a very long time is a no go for me.

And I'm the MOST laid-back mom you'll EVER EVER _EVER_ meet, and this is what I would do!


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## elmh23 (Jul 1, 2004)

I agree with Sandra.

Call her and tell her you're pulling your daughter, that you want a refund for the next two weeks and that you'll be calling the state. I know if another parent knew these things about my daycare, I'd want them to report it.


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## lifeguard (May 12, 2008)

I'd pull her. It's just money & if it's lost that's better than what could happen with a negligent caregiver.


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SandraS* 
Um, seeing as how she's registered with the State, I would be pulling the child and demanding any money refunded, the heck with the two week thing. If she argues, I'd be filing complaints.

She's in violation of her contract, I'll bet. She's to provide a safe environment. Personally, I wouldn't care too much about the playing - I don't think structured activities make or break a child - but one that young being left inside alone for what was probably a very long time is a no go for me.

And I'm the MOST laid-back mom you'll EVER EVER _EVER_ meet, and this is what I would do!









to this whole post. The play all day at the other place wouldn't bother me, but if it bothered you you're paying so it was good you found a new place. But yeah, leaving multiple kids in high chairs while she's outside around the opposite end of the house doing yardwork is NOT cool.


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## celestialdreamer (Nov 18, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *elmh23* 
I agree with Sandra.

Call her and tell her you're pulling your daughter, that you want a refund for the next two weeks and that you'll be calling the state. I know if another parent knew these things about my daycare, I'd want them to report it.

Yep! I'm a very laid back person and the play all day wouldn't both me at all for a child that age especially for in-home care. This would be a huge deal to me though!


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## Youngfrankenstein (Jun 3, 2009)

This lady does have a requirement to treat her home as a business. Leaving the kids alone is unacceptable.

If I, as a mother, decide to go get the mail while my baby is playing in the living room, I have that "liberty". If I were watching other people's kids, I wouldn't leave them alone for a second. You no longer have that liberty when you are responsible for other children. She has more responsibility for your kids than for her own, if you know what I mean.


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## IlluminatedAttic (Aug 25, 2006)

Well, personally I think the second lady is much more a risk than the first, though I only have your two examples to go by. Honestly I would have been livid with dh if he left our child in the example you describe. I would require a refund for the unused days stating breech of contract and I would contact the state. I would not leave my child in the care of someone who thought it was okay to leave the kids completely alone like that for anything more than an emergency (to deal with an injured child type of thing) or maybe to go to the bathroom for two minutes if she is the only caregiver there. I would be too concerned about what other risks she deems acceptable.

As for the first placement, do you mean that you thought your daughter should be receiving a preschool type program with circle time and academic activities like learning the ABCs, or just that you wanted to see some free choice art projects or playdough type activities offered? If it is the first then you should probably do some research to solidify what your educational philosophy is for your dd and look for a daycare or preschool that states they offer such a curriculum. Depending on your area (rural or urban) you are more likely to find such a program at a larger center. Even if you find it in a home situation it will probably cost more as it is likely to be run by a former preschool teacher now offering home care in order to stay home with her own kids but still requiring higher compensation for her higher training.

Most small home daycares are more play based and viewed as an extension of, well, home. Therefore playing most of the day, some book reading, some outside play time, maybe some extra fun with painting or playdough, all happen while the supervising "mom" is preparing and cleaning up from meals, activities, diaper changes, naps and yes, some minor housework. Disappearing to rake the front yard alone - NO, but sweeping the kitchen floor, emptying the dishwasher or folding a load of clothes while supervising play, yes.

Good luck with the new search and the new babe! I'm sure this is all very stressful for you right now.


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## daytripper75 (Jul 29, 2003)

I wouldn't be happy with my husband if he left my child there knowing she was not watching them. I'd rather lose two weeks worth of daycare money than my child.


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## ~Charlie's~Angel~ (Mar 17, 2008)

As a fellow mama who has BOTH her little angels in daycare fulll time, I would be yanking my kid, demanding a refund, and reporting her to the state so that a formal investigation is conducted to ensure she does not harm anyone's child.

My stomach is turning just reading your post. I wouldnt think twice about yanking your daughter out. No one messes with the well being of a child. NO ONE.


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## franklinmarxmom (Nov 29, 2007)

I would have never left my LO there again, ever. Even if you believe her excuses, she is obviously too absent-minded, "forgetting" she has kids inside in high chairs.

I would demand my money back (but wouldn't fight it too hard--money isn't that important), and immediately file a formal complaint with the state.

Oh yeah, and I wouldn't worry about the play thing. I'm sorry this happened. As someone with a little one in FT daycare, I understand how stressful and time-consuming it is to find a new one.


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## JollyGG (Oct 1, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *IlluminatedAttic* 
Well, personally I think the second lady is much more a risk than the first, though I only have your two examples to go by. Honestly I would have been livid with dh if he left our child in the example you describe. I would require a refund for the unused days stating breech of contract and I would contact the state. I would not leave my child in the care of someone who thought it was okay to leave the kids completely alone like that for anything more than an emergency (to deal with an injured child type of thing) or maybe to go to the bathroom for two minutes if she is the only caregiver there. I would be too concerned about what other risks she deems acceptable.

As for the first placement, do you mean that you thought your daughter should be receiving a preschool type program with circle time and academic activities like learning the ABCs, or just that you wanted to see some free choice art projects or playdough type activities offered? If it is the first then you should probably do some research to solidify what your educational philosophy is for your dd and look for a daycare or preschool that states they offer such a curriculum. Depending on your area (rural or urban) you are more likely to find such a program at a larger center. Even if you find it in a home situation it will probably cost more as it is likely to be run by a former preschool teacher now offering home care in order to stay home with her own kids but still requiring higher compensation for her higher training.

Most small home daycares are more play based and viewed as an extension of, well, home. Therefore playing most of the day, some book reading, some outside play time, maybe some extra fun with painting or playdough, all happen while the supervising "mom" is preparing and cleaning up from meals, activities, diaper changes, naps and yes, some minor housework. Disappearing to rake the front yard alone - NO, but sweeping the kitchen floor, emptying the dishwasher or folding a load of clothes while supervising play, yes.

Good luck with the new search and the new babe! I'm sure this is all very stressful for you right now.









I agree with this.

Without there being more to the story I would not have pulled my kids from the first daycare. I actually chose a home based daycare specifically because I don't care for alot of structure for young kids. Similarly aged kids to play with, some toys, and some outside time is what I want in a daycare.

But I find the second beyond careless and would no longer use that babysitter for childcare.

Are you really going to have any piece of mind if you leave your child there for the next two weeks?


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## RasJi7 (Sep 25, 2007)

Just agreeing with everyone else. I would pull my son/daughter immediately and ask for $ back as well as file a complaint.

Agree with others as well about wanting lo to play, however as the Mother if you had feelings that the first daycare was not right for your lo, then that is what's best to go on.

I hoe you are able to find someone soon!


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## 4Blessings (Feb 27, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Inspired007* 

Bottom line for me: What mother would leave her own baby in a high chair to go outside to do yard work? Not a good one. That's not something you'd do with your own child, so why would you do this with someone else's child?



Quote:

Do you think it's reasonable for me to take her there these next two weeks? This lady is a good person, but the mentality of a person who would leave babies/toddlers imprisoned (high chairs) alone in a house is beyond my scope of understanding.

Sorry for the long rant.

WWYD?
I would not have left my child in her care that day or ever again. RUN. Your child deserves better.

"Good people" don't leave babies unattended to do yard work.


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## saimeiyu (Aug 13, 2007)

I'm going to agree with the assessment of the pp. The first place sounds like exactly what you should expect at a home daycare. Then again, I happen to believe that "structured" playtime is detrimental to kids under three. I don't think it benefits them at *all* let alone a kid under two even!

The second place, though... Yeah. I'd be pulling my kid in a heartbeat and calling the state to do an investigation or revoke her license. No way no how did she not know it was completely 100% wrong and dangerous to leave those kids unattended in a bunch of high chairs, if for no other reason than kids are squirmy little suckers and one of them could climb halfway out of a high chair and end up falling on their head. Not okay.


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## Inspired007 (Aug 25, 2006)

I feel much better knowing that I'm not overreacting.

The only thing is that this lady goes to my church and so it makes things quite difficult. We have to be very diplomatic about how we handle this b/c of our relationship with her.

It would be very, very difficult for us to turn this lady in to the state. I can certainly see why you all would want me to, but this is kind of a precarious situation we're in.


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## Inspired007 (Aug 25, 2006)

Oh and I hear you guys about the first daycare. There were other reasons involved, namely that it was out of my way for work and the price was very steep. We were paying about $60 less per week for this current daycare than the first. And there was food provided, which wasn't at the first one. I had to bring her meals.


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## SandraS (Jan 18, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Inspired007* 
It would be very, very difficult for us to turn this lady in to the state. I can certainly see why you all would want me to, but this is kind of a precarious situation we're in.

But if you don't, and a child becomes hurt (or worse!) in her care, how would you feel?

I mean, it's not your fault. But you need to somehow intervene here. Something should be done. If my child was sitting next to yours in those lonely high chairs, I would want to know what kind of care she's getting.

I know it's hard. But it would be irresponsible, IMO, not to do SOMETHING.


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## Liquesce (Nov 4, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SandraS* 
But if you don't, and a child becomes hurt (or worse!) in her care, how would you feel?









: Diplomacy has its limits, and one of those limits is when it comes to the welfare of children.


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## spmamma (Sep 2, 2007)

I agree with PPs - I would definitely not take my child back to that daycare. Ever.

I suspect that this isn't the first time she's done something like this (it rarely ever is). Yes, the kids were strapped down in their chairs, but one of them could have choked on something with no one around to see it. When I read your post, I immediately wondered what other neglectful things she's done while the parents weren't around.

Turning her in, while difficult and potentially very awkward since she goes to your church, is the right thing to do. A small child could be badly hurt or killed if their caregiver is not watching them, especially for an extended period of time. Who knows how long they were left inside while she was doing yard work before your DH arrived? I know I would feel terrible if something happened and I hadn't said anything. And I would certainly hope another parent to report seeing something like this at a place my child was being cared for at.

Hugs, mama. This is a tough situation!


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## mamadelbosque (Feb 6, 2007)

Seriously, report her. So it might cause some 'problems' at church, so what. Would you really rather not make waves and have somebody elses kid get hurt? Or to put it another way, how would you feel if somebody else pulled ther kid out of a daycare quietly because of serious safety concerns, *YOU* didn't know and put your kid in there, and they got seriously hurt?? Just cause' that first parent didn't want to 'make waves' as it were???

ETA: Oh and I also agree with the other posters about the first daycare - I wouldn't want structure for my DS if he was in daycare. I'd want a mom who would watch him, take him to the park, and just generally let him play and be a kid...


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SandraS* 
Um, seeing as how she's registered with the State, I would be pulling the child and demanding any money refunded, the heck with the two week thing. If she argues, I'd be filing complaints.

She's in violation of her contract, I'll bet. She's to provide a safe environment. Personally, I wouldn't care too much about the playing - I don't think structured activities make or break a child - but one that young being left inside alone for what was probably a very long time is a no go for me.

And I'm the MOST laid-back mom you'll EVER EVER _EVER_ meet, and this is what I would do!


Quote:


Originally Posted by *The4OfUs* 







to this whole post. The play all day at the other place wouldn't bother me, but if it bothered you you're paying so it was good you found a new place. But yeah, leaving multiple kids in high chairs while she's outside around the opposite end of the house doing yardwork is NOT cool.

I haven't read past these posts, but I agree totally. The play all day thing wouldn't bother me, but leaving the kids inside, stuck in high chairs, while she does yard work?? No way in hell. ANd, ask for a refund, and file a complaint. I'm sure that's not in line with her licensing.


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## purplepaperclip (May 19, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Inspired007* 
I feel much better knowing that I'm not overreacting.

The only thing is that this lady goes to my church and so it makes things quite difficult. We have to be very diplomatic about how we handle this b/c of our relationship with her.

It would be very, very difficult for us to turn this lady in to the state. I can certainly see why you all would want me to, but this is kind of a precarious situation we're in.

I don't think you should have to censor your actions in this situation because this lady goes to your church. So what! You don't owe her anything because of that. What she did is *ILLEGAL as a licensed care provider!* If someone, say, murdered a little old lady after stealing her purse, would you not report it because they went to your church???


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## saimeiyu (Aug 13, 2007)

Diplomacy my big toe. If your church is screwed up enough to get all mad at you for being concerned about the WELFARE OF CHILDREN there's something seriously wrong with it.

If you do not report her, you are morally responsible of one of those kids gets hurt. End of story.

Silence means you approve.


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## butterfly_mommy (Oct 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *IlluminatedAttic* 
Well, personally I think the second lady is much more a risk than the first, though I only have your two examples to go by. Honestly I would have been livid with dh if he left our child in the example you describe. I would require a refund for the unused days stating breech of contract and I would contact the state. I would not leave my child in the care of someone who thought it was okay to leave the kids completely alone like that for anything more than an emergency (to deal with an injured child type of thing) or maybe to go to the bathroom for two minutes if she is the only caregiver there. I would be too concerned about what other risks she deems acceptable.

As for the first placement, do you mean that you thought your daughter should be receiving a preschool type program with circle time and academic activities like learning the ABCs, or just that you wanted to see some free choice art projects or playdough type activities offered? If it is the first then you should probably do some research to solidify what your educational philosophy is for your dd and look for a daycare or preschool that states they offer such a curriculum. Depending on your area (rural or urban) you are more likely to find such a program at a larger center. Even if you find it in a home situation it will probably cost more as it is likely to be run by a former preschool teacher now offering home care in order to stay home with her own kids but still requiring higher compensation for her higher training.

Most small home daycares are more play based and viewed as an extension of, well, home. Therefore playing most of the day, some book reading, some outside play time, maybe some extra fun with painting or playdough, all happen while the supervising "mom" is preparing and cleaning up from meals, activities, diaper changes, naps and yes, some minor housework. Disappearing to rake the front yard alone - NO, but sweeping the kitchen floor, emptying the dishwasher or folding a load of clothes while supervising play, yes.

Good luck with the new search and the new babe! I'm sure this is all very stressful for you right now.









I agree totally and completely with this post.


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## 1littlebit (Jun 1, 2008)

i think you should report it. the other parents have a right to know their kids are not being well supervised. also, how would you feel if you had been using this daycare and mentioned it to another mother who said 'o yeah, we used to use her too but then we found her outside and the kids completely unsupervised. we haven't gone back since' ? i would wish that she had reported so that i would not have unknowingly left my child with someone who was neglecting her job.


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## Amylcd (Jun 16, 2005)

I would be angry too, because I would expect the woman to do the job I was paying her to do.

Quote:

"Good people" don't leave babies unattended to do yard work.
I do. Not only do I consider myself a "good" mother, I would go as far as to say _wonderful._ I don't lock DD in the house, if she wanted to come out she is more than welcome (and can open the door herself), however, she is usually napping or playing and doesn't want to be outside with me.


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## 1littlebit (Jun 1, 2008)

yeah but she's yours... IMO thats the difference... i'll go get something from the car or w/e while ds is napping but he's my kid yk?


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## deadheadmomma (Feb 22, 2008)

Here in Wichita about a year ago a little girl died at a home daycare because she was left unattended in a car seat that was too little for her. She was left in the bathroom and no one checked on her and evidently the car seat being too little didn't allow her to breath properly. I would report her, next time a baby might die, nothing is worth that. And any true Christians would not hold it against you.


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## SandraS (Jan 18, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *1littlebit* 
yeah but she's yours... IMO thats the difference... i'll go get something from the car or w/e while ds is napping but he's my kid yk?

Yup. I know how safe my own children are when I leave them "alone". That does not mean that I would do it to children I was being paid to care for.


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## annekevdbroek (Jun 5, 2005)

I would pull my child immediately, request a refund in writing citing what occured. I would also report her to the state. If she does this, what else does she do? How can she possibly leave young children unsupervised like that? What is one of them started choking? The fact that they were in highchairs actually makes it worse in my mind because they are immobilized and it suggests to me that she does this routinely (she has worked out a system to keep the kids in once place while she goes about her day).


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## rebirth (Oct 17, 2008)

my biggest concern about the children's safety is that they were left in high chairs!!! what if a chair fell, and a child had to scream for 30 minutes with a broken bone b/c she couldn't hear all the way out there. :,( Or even worse! I just think this is likely the most possible negative outcome, and a baby/child should never be left alone in a high chair.

I agree, I would report her as well, b/c she endangered those babies, and will undoubtedly do it again. Even if it makes things tough at church, it will blow over. And it would only be a big deal if she or you make it out to be.


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## snoopy5386 (May 6, 2005)

I would absolutely not go back there, not for a second. I can't even a little bit understand how or why your DH left her there today. He had errands to run?? DD couldn't come with him? Is that worth her life? If he is off for the summer why do you have to send her at all? Especially if you are trying to save money. I would absolutely report her. I am sure this is not the first time she has done something like this. There are other churches out there.


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

OP, I can understand that it might be uncomfortable, but PLEASE put yourself in the shoes of all the other parents whose children were in highchairs while their "caretaker" was outside, completely out of range...if you were them, wouldn't you want to know about it? Wouldn't you be horrified to know that it had happened to your own child? Not turning her in is condoning what she's doing. I'm sorry that it might cause strife and stress in your life, but really, this *is* a hill to die on. All the other parents probably have NO idea this is going on.


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## dearmama22 (Oct 20, 2008)

Oh no! Sorry that happened. I'd get your babe out of there ASAP, good luck!


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## accountclosed2 (May 28, 2007)

Get your child out and report that lady!

And about your previous daycare provider, this new situation is certainly worse. The first situation would be acceptable (if not ideal to you). I am assuming that you didn't mean that you wanted a pre-school environment for your child (if you do, chose a good pre-school!),, and that what you mean is that the woman didn't encourage children's play, read books to the children, play music and do silly dancing, arrange for activities sometimes like painting or play dough or baking (stuff that I would say IS an extension of the home, but needs to be planned and prepared a bit more when you have a group of children than if you just have your own one or 2 kids at home). I personally don't think that it is asking too much that a day care provide will do some of these things, not all the time, but something every day. I know that some don't, and that there are parents who don't ask for it, but that is just that people see childcare as well as parenting differently.


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## Just My Opinion (Nov 26, 2008)

(saw this in new posts)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *snoopy5386* 
I would absolutely not go back there, not for a second. I can't even a little bit understand how or why your DH left her there today. He had errands to run?? DD couldn't come with him? Is that worth her life? If he is off for the summer why do you have to send her at all? Especially if you are trying to save money. I would absolutely report her. I am sure this is not the first time she has done something like this. There are other churches out there.


I agree 100%. Had to run errands? I am not trying to come down on your dh, but c'mon now. Come on, it was not like, 'oh dear, he would have lost his job and we would be homeless if he didn't leave her there temporarily, he didn't know what to do!!!' Errands? I am shocked.

I would personally be more livid at dh than the DCP.


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## weliveintheforest (Sep 3, 2005)

What about talking to the woman, or the other parents? They do deserve to know, but maybe it can happen without this woman being reported to the state. Maybe you could write her a letter and have a meeting or something?


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## 1littlebit (Jun 1, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *weliveintheforest* 
What about talking to the woman, or the other parents? They do deserve to know, but maybe it can happen without this woman being reported to the state. Maybe you could write her a letter and have a meeting or something?

she already knows it is wrong.. i don't think it will change.. she will just hide it better.


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## Belia (Dec 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annekevdbroek* 
I would pull my child immediately, request a refund in writing citing what occured. I would also report her to the state.









:

I agree that you have a moral responsibility to report her to the state. I know it is easy for us out here in cyberland to pontificate on what you HAVE to do, because we don't have to deal with the fallout. And I also know that confrontation sucks. Truly, I am sensitive to how tough that is.

But IMO, you have to do it. For the safety and well-being of all of those kids.

Come back here and vent to us if the sh!t hits the fan at your church- we'll back you.


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## 77589 (Mar 7, 2007)

I can understand this is someone you probably know through church and putting your child in her care is the secondary relationship. Having said that. Everything happens for a reason. What if this is the chance for a very bad occurance to be avoided? You always hear stories after things have gone wrong - "looking back - this happened - I should have known" etc. What if this is one of those? I'll assume since you say church you are christian (I must preface this that I am not) but from all I have read of the bible in my life isn't there a scripture that says doing the right thing is often the hardest and most uncomfortable? Even if it means facing ridicule. What is your alternative? Inform all the other parents what happened and hope she learned her lesson when most of them remove their children from her care? I personally would have a hard time sitting quietly and not doing anything


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## Evergreen (Nov 6, 2002)

I am going to relay a story I haven't told her at MDC. When my oldest was two we tried two in home day cares. The first one had lots of warning signals. DD had been fully potty trained at home, for my parents, and other sitters for over a year but would pee and poop in her pants every single time she went at this lady's house. One time I dropped her off and there were 10 kids there. That seemed like an awful lot to me. Another time I picked her up early and the kids were all outside (oldest was three) she was inside cooking their lunches. I was a student and at the time all other day cares had year long waiting lists. Finally, one day she told me she had to spank dd- because she'd poured water out of her cup and licked it up pretending to be a cat. I called everyone I knew trying to get her a new daycare for exam week. Nothing. I had to take exams so I brought her back. It's been over 4 years and I still regret it every day even though 1. nothing happened as a result of the poor supervision and 2. dd told me the spanking didn't even hurt- she was wearing a diaper at the time. Anyway, I decided eventually to file a complaint as licensed centers are not allowed to hit or leave children unsupervised. It turns out she wasn't even licensed and they knew about her but couldn't do anything until someone reported her. I was the one to report her. The point is I had red flags and ignored them and still regret it.


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## JudiAU (Jun 29, 2008)

I think you should pull her now and receive a refund and an apology.

I think both unstructured play and structured are fine at this age. But if you prefer the later you should look at a preschool that accepts 2 year olds. You would probably be happier with a program.


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## greengirl_ (Nov 12, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annekevdbroek* 
The fact that they were in highchairs actually makes it worse in my mind because they are immobilized and it suggests to me that she does this routinely (she has worked out a system to keep the kids in once place while she goes about her day).

This was my thought exactly. She's obviously done this before, and she knew it was wrong because she was nervous and making excuses to your dh. I wouldn't take my child back there and I would definatly report her to the state. She may have other complaints against her and this may be the last straw, you never know. It would be too bad for her if she lost her license because of this, but she is putting the health and well-being of other people's kids at risk. Is there a way to file an anonymous complaint?


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## amandaleigh37 (Jul 13, 2006)

PLEASE do something so she doesn't endanger another child. Do you know the other parents? Can you contact them?

How would you feel if you found out another parent stopped by unannounced a few weeks earlier & saw something equally neglectful? And just quietly pulled her child out and never did anything about it, or told the other parents....... What must happen before something changes? A child getting seriously injured?

ETA: Yes, pull her out! And demand a refund. The fact that she knew it was wrong is irrelevant really. Either she knew it was not safe to leave them alone, in which case she is just negligent. Or she "didn't know", in which case she has very poor common sense and should not be watching young children anyway. She may be a good person, but she is not a good babysitter!


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## MacKinnon (Jun 15, 2004)

Quality child care is a HUGE issue for me. I pay roughly half of my income to have my children in, what I consider, the most fabulous program ever. I would definitly pull your child. I know that it can be hard, but there is no excuse for that. Reporting, is of course, your call. But I would not send my child back, and I would ask to lift the 2 week notice penalty. I did NOT choose home day care due to my fear of the lack of oversight. I would strongly encourage you to really look at all of your options. Although I wanted the play based environment that home day care offers, I did not feel comfortable with the lack of oversight. So, I found a wonderful center based program that I am 100% confident provides great care for my kids. For me, working out of the home requires incredible confidence in my child care situation. I pay through the teeth and drive WAY out of my way to make that happen. I'm not sure that home based care is going to be the right fit for your family, I would be looking at all options! Good luck, and hugs Mama... It's SO hard to find the right fit for your most precious little people.


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## pauletoy (Aug 26, 2007)

Please don't take your child back there!!!


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Inspired007* 
We were paying about $60 less per week for this current daycare than the first.

i have not read all the replies. but unfortunately in my experience i have discovered you get what you paid for. i went thru a bunch of daycares till finally there was a place in the one i hadnt really wanted because it was a preschool/daycare center rather than inhome daycare. however my dd was happiest there and i never ever questioned the care.

however the place cost me more than my rent. i was dirt poor all those years but oh man did i have peace of mind when i left my dd. i never had to question her quality of care. NEVER EVER!!! if it hadnt been so expensive i would have kept her in that ps for preK and skipped K.


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## Breeder (May 28, 2006)

Silence is acceptance.

By not reporting her you are allowing her to continue putting children at risk.

Those little ones need someone to stand up for them. Please be that person. You are strong enough to do the right thing.


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## lovebug (Nov 2, 2004)

what were the kiddos doing? just sitting there? eating? playing with toys?

I would have went OFF! i would pass on the 2 weeks an i would MAKE SURE i received a refund. you are paying her (and the other moms and dads) to WATCH your DD NOT to do yard work! if she wants to get paid to do yard work then she needs to become a landscaper! those poor babies!

Best of luck to you! i truly hope you take action on this







s


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## runes (Aug 5, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *saimeiyu* 
Diplomacy my big toe. If your church is screwed up enough to get all mad at you for being concerned about the WELFARE OF CHILDREN there's something seriously wrong with it.

If you do not report her, you are morally responsible of one of those kids gets hurt. End of story.

Silence means you approve.









:

She may be a member of the same church, but goodness forbid something bad happened to a baby after you saw what was happening in her home but didn't report it. Do NOT let the social pressure of going to the same church deter you from reporting this woman for an ILLEGAL, DANGEROUS VIOLATION of daycare mandates.

And in your shoes, I would absolutely not go back. You can request a refund, but even if you don't get it, please do not let your child be watched by this woman again.


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## Inspired007 (Aug 25, 2006)

Okay so here's the deal.

I must have assumed she was licensed by the state. As I said, we had a personal relationship with her before my daughter began going there and I never really asked. I made the assumption based on some information she told me about getting government assistance. I thought that in order to get that, you must be licensed. Actually, I just learned that in TN, you don't have to have a daycare license if you don't take care of more than four children who aren't related to you. Typically, she watches about four to five children, with one or two being relatives. So that exempts her from having to carry a license.

So, no recourse there.

Yesterday, i stayed home from work b/c this has obviously upset me and DH and I thought it best for both of us to go and talk to her.

We went and she was genuinely surprised that we'd pull out daughter from her care over this. She said that she was "right there" and that most of the work done had been done before the kids got there, but a few pieces were left and she "had to get them". That's when I almost clocked b/c there you have the big difference in mind set. I interjected and said "See, no, you didn't HAVE to get them. You left those children in there alone." My husband elbowed me so I would calm down. My blood pressure was rising a tad, I must admit. She responded that she didn't leave them alone. To which I said, "Oh, you had another adult in there?" She says, "No my little cousin was there watching them," Um, she's 7 and I don't pay her to watch my daughter, I pay you.

So obviously, we have parenting that is completely at odds with one another here. In her mind, she was "right there" which isn't true to me. She may have felt she was a reasonable distance from the house, but Dh said that she was near the curb, pulling weeds. That's unacceptable to me. Maybe not to her, but that's waaay over the top in my parenting book. Also, the comment where she said she "had" to get them is just a blatant clue that she is warped in her way of prioritizing her tasks. Also, to have your little cousin watching babies you are being paid to care for is beyond me. This mentality is just plain ignorant, and sadly, it abounds all over the world.

Now, I do want to make clear that I do believe this woman has a gentle heart and loves these children and IMO is a good person. Everyone's standard of what it takes to raise a child and babysit is different and IMO this isn't a situation where she didn't give a hoot about the kids. I honestly think she thought what she had done was okay since she strapped them in and had a 7 y/o watch them. I'm not saying it was the bright thing to do, but it wasn't mal-intentioned. My opinion of her level of common sense has certainly changed, but I don't think she actually meant these children any harm, for whatever that's worth.

I only say this to say that I do think intentions matter some. Not enough for me to keep my daughter there, however.

Also, I want to comment on the fact that when I mentioned that she goes to my church, it wasn't to say that I fear retaliation or ridicule. Maybe you won't understand this, but belonging to a church is like a family in a lot of ways. You don't do things rashly without taking into account the effect it will have on your family or the soul in question. I don't want to do anything that will negatively affect God's kingdom so these types of things aren't done casually or impulsively.

This of course, is not a good situation for any child to be in, and I plan on being honest if asked why I took my daughter out. Several other church members bring their children to her and I am anticipating their curiosity. I also have a sneaking suspicion that a few of the other parents won't necessarily agree that this is a deal breaker. I think that some of the parents trust this woman explicitly. They had some long standing ties with her since she has watched several generations of kids they know. She's been in business 14 years.

I don't expect everyone in this forum to understand or agree with my actions to not picket her home or do any other bold type action protest to this.


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Inspired007* 
You don't do things rashly without taking into account the effect it will have on your family or the soul in question. I don't want to do anything that will negatively affect God's kingdom so these types of things aren't done casually or impulsively. .

But what about the effect it's having on the other children, and God forbid something happens to one of htem, the children's souls? I just....I don't understand how you can be upset enough to pull your own daughter, but leave other kids there without doing anything else. Religion has nothing to do with this, IMO. This is about safety, and kids who are young enough to be in highchairs, unable to speak up for themselves. I realize you don't want to slander this woman, but there has to be a middle ground somewhere...the other parents somehow need to know what's happening and then decide for *themselves* if this is acceptable for a paid care provider or not. If it is, it's their business and their call. But if it's not, as it's unacceptable to you, but they have no idea because they're never told by anyone, how can they even make the call??


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## amandaleigh37 (Jul 13, 2006)

I think it's great that you went to confront her about this. From the way she was making excuses, it seems obvious that she thinks that is an acceptable standard of care... which would only make me wonder what else she thinks is "ok". But I'm glad your child won't be going back...

Quote:

the other parents somehow need to know what's happening and then decide for *themselves* if this is acceptable for a paid care provider or not.
I agree with this comment. Put yourself in their shoes. If it were another parent that made this discovery.... wouldn't you want to know?


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## Inspired007 (Aug 25, 2006)

So what _exactly_ would you have me to do in this instance?


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## SandraS (Jan 18, 2007)

This is probably not the right answer, but frankly, she needs EDUCATED. She needs told, in no fancy way, that her theories are wrong.

And really, at this point, after talking with her, I'd be out front of her home the next weekday morning educating her customers.

The fact she doesn't even realize that this would be unacceptable to her clients stuns me.


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## IlluminatedAttic (Aug 25, 2006)

Even if she isn't licensed by the state there is still a state agency that would oversee an investigation of the care she is providing. In some states it is CPS and in others it is a segment of the licensing board. Call and find out then report what happened. The situation will be investigated and the other parents given a chance to tell how they view her care. She may be shut down or her long positive history may be taken into account and she may just be required to submit to future inspections or to undergo further training. In our state ongoing training is subsidized even for these small number/unlicensed daycares so there may be a similar program in yours.


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## 4Blessings (Feb 27, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *IlluminatedAttic* 
Even if she isn't licensed by the state there is still a state agency that would oversee an investigation of the care she is providing. In some states it is CPS and in others it is a segment of the licensing board. Call and find out then report what happened. The situation will be investigated and the other parents given a chance to tell how they view her care. She may be shut down or her long positive history may be taken into account and she may just be required to submit to future inspections or to undergo further training. In our state ongoing training is subsidized even for these small number/unlicensed daycares so there may be a similar program in yours.

^^^Exactly.^^^

And next time you look for care call the state and get a list of licensed providers to interview. Don't assume the provider is licensed.


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

I guess I'd either straight up tell her that you're not sure if others would be OK in the situation you weren't OK in, and you feel like they should know what's going on, so maybe she should send some kind of letter home with the kids, Okaying with the parents that they can be left inside in a highchair while she finishes up yardwork and a 7 yo is supervising. I mean, if she sees nothing wrong with it, she shoudln't have a problem sending a letter out for that, KWIM? If she does have a problem sending out a letter like that, then I might figure out some way of contacting other parents and letting them know...not in a gossipy, evil way but in a 'this bothered me, and I think every parent should be able to decide for themselves if this is a standard of care acceptable for them" way. I know if *I* was another parent, I would want to know, because it *wouldn't* be OK with me. Whether she outs herself, or you out her, if I was one of the other parents I would not be comfortable with it either, and if I knew you knew and didn't say anything, I'd be pretty upset.

I'm not saying it is goignto be easy, or pleasant...but nonetheless, you have information about other people's kids beign treated in a way soem of them might find as questionable as you do, so IMO you're obligated to somehow let those parents decide for themselves whether it's OK or not. I can think more on a diplomatic way to approach people if you want, I'd be happy to help you brainstorm since I'm advocating you find some way to alert other parents.


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## olliepop (Jun 26, 2007)

Quote:

I also have a sneaking suspicion that a few of the other parents won't necessarily agree that this is a deal breaker. I think that some of the parents trust this woman explicitly. They had some long standing ties with her since she has watched several generations of kids they know. She's been in business 14 years.
I wonder if any other parents have walked in on her neglecting their children (and yours) and never even batted an eyelash. How long has she been doing this and how far has she gone? Has she ever "just run next door" for a cup of sugar? What about "running to the store" for milk, leaving the 7 year old adult in charge? Where does it end? I don't trust her judgment at all.


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## purplepaperclip (May 19, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Inspired007* 
So what _exactly_ would you have me to do in this instance?

You tell her she has put you in a situation where she needs to inform the other parents IN WRITING of the events that occured or you will. They all DESERVE to know that their children were left unattended. If you do not speak up, you are no better than she is. Whoever said earlier that silence is acceptance is absolutely correct.


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## Twinklefae (Dec 13, 2006)

I provide child care from home. It is mind boggling to me that she would leave those LO's alone to do yard work. It is unacceptable, and I would call your reporting board (even if she isn't licensed, they should be able to tell you if there is anything anyone can do).

That said, the comment about the woman folding her laundry has really stuck with me. One of the things I like about home daycare vs. centre care (I worked in centre for 5 years before I had DS) is that it exposes children to far more "normal" situations. In the centre we really had to make up activites like mailing a letter, cooking, and laundry.

In my home, I do fold the laundry. I often involve the little ones, matching socks and things. I also clean my bathroom, hang my laundry outside, and vacuum. I fail to see how that's different than how I mopped floors and cleaned tables, and folded sleep sheets and towels when I worked in a center. Learing about the daily rhythms of a home is part of life for young children. The women who runs the program I am licensed though always says "This is your home and you have to live here."

That said, I do a very gentle circle time and we do paint and things like that as well. I also offer lots of relaxed playtime. I think it's important.


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## alllyssa (Sep 1, 2004)

I can't believe

#1 that your DH needs daycare when he's off for the summer and

#2 that he left your DD at daycare when he knows that the provider wasn't watching the children right before he got there.

He'd be on my naughty list, for sure.

Since the daycare provider violated your trust and the welfare of the children present when your DH drove up, she has "0" case. If she won't refund your money - take her to small claims courtm (or to your pastor









If she's as interested in maintaining your church friendship, she'll bend over backward to try to remedy this with you.


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## gsd1amommy (Apr 6, 2007)

I don't understand why you wouldn't want to inform the other parents of this situation. If it isn't good enough for your child, it likely isn't good enough for theirs, either. You should not just assume this isn't a deal breaker for other parents.


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## LeahC (Sep 10, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Breeder* 
Silence is acceptance.

By not reporting her you are allowing her to continue putting children at risk.

Those little ones need someone to stand up for them. Please be that person. You are strong enough to do the right thing.


Breeder took the words out of my mouth.

You can do this! Please, do this. Those little children need you to be their advocate.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

I would turn her in, sue her if she doesn't refund my money, and also tell every one of the parents I knew used her for daycare that I had reported her to the state and why and tell them to get their money back too.

The woman should be in jail and you're worried about your relationship with her at church?

She left kids in high chairs while she was outside. High chairs can be tipped over. Forget the remote possibility of a fire, a kid could've just wiggled (from say, having a poopy diaper?) and died.


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## SunshineJ (Mar 26, 2008)

Two things keep coming to me as I read this. Not your DH's bad judgement - I can acutally see where someone would be so shocked that they didn't respond correctly but went ahead and left your DD while it all sunk in. It's that unbelievable! However, yes highchairs can tip, there could be a fire, etc., but on a more practical level what about the children in diapers? How long are they left sitting in their own feces in some instances? Other than a catalyst for diaper rash, that's classified as neglect - and that's benign relatively speaking when compared to the other things pp have mentioned could happen!

Finally, I wanted to say this. It's something that we as a society tend to forget too easily. I understand that you don't want to cause problems and that you don't want to get her in trouble so to speak. Thing is, _her actions_ are what will cause the problems, not your reporting of them. It's not like you're making up a story. If someone faces repercussions because of a truth that is told, then it is their actions alone that caused that repercussion and nothing for you to feel bad or guilty over.

I'm very glad your DD isn't going back!


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## lilmom (Nov 9, 2008)

Inspired007 said:


> Also, I want to comment on the fact that when I mentioned that she goes to my church, it wasn't to say that I fear retaliation or ridicule. Maybe you won't understand this, but belonging to a church is like a family in a lot of ways. You don't do things rashly without taking into account the effect it will have on your family or the soul in question. I don't want to do anything that will negatively affect God's kingdom so these types of things aren't done casually or impulsively.
> 
> QUOTE]
> 
> ...


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## maisiedotes (Jan 2, 2005)

Holy mackeral. I can't believe this woman!!! I wish your child could go where my child goes- the provider does yoga with them, teaches them signing, arts and crafts, letters and numbers.. ugh. I am sorry you are going through this.

I would definitely report her to the state and get your child out of her irresponsible hands! What is she thinking? I wonder if the other parents know she is like this. I must sound like a troublemaker, but I would be so enraged, I would probably tell the other parents. Actually, I am enraged and I am not even involved!







:


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## fwlady (May 11, 2009)

At first, I think I would have been with everyone who said that DH did a big no no, but then the poster that said that it was probably too much shock to have made that decision on the spur of the moment, perhaps she is right. I think I would have been livid at my DH, but if I had been there, in his shoes, I may have made the same decision and been so p*ssed at myself for doing so.

I interviewed this one home babysitter, that had 8-10 kids in her care. I was working with another parent that referred her to me. I went there, and she gave me a tour, and there was a 6 mo old baby on a bed, like my grandma would have done. No pillows, nothing. She also had an in ground pool, kids afterschool in and out. I decided against it, and my coworker also mentioned she liked me, but didn't want to see me all morning and all day. So, I decided not to use her. I paid more money at the in home licensed military daycare. He was left in MY swing all day when I wasn't there, as he cried because I didn't know I shouldn't have been eating chili. I went ahead and took the swing because I knew she had other kids, he was not even 8 wks. So I found a better military home daycare betwen the two bases, where we lived and where we worked. I nursed him at lunch, and I always got him early on Fridays when we were released early. I used my boss's wife a couple times when my DC worker was on vacation. My friend said she would never use her because she left the preschoolers in the fixed up garage playing all day. I went there to nurse him at lunch too.

So, FF. My coworker comes back from her older child's dental appt, (where she knocked out her tooth at this DC lady's home in the tub), and finds policeman and ambulance. Another toddler got out of the door after an afterschool kid didn't lock it after coming in. The baby got out and drowned. It wasn't HER 2 yr old. So, I ask her if she was planning to take her kids back, and she says, "well, after it all cools down". The lady never did DC after that, PTL! I just stared at my coworker, like "you HAVE to be kidding". All of has already said we would have pulled the girls after the busted teeth incident. She could have hosed the kids down from the sand. Where were all the other kids while she was bathing one child? Maybe that was a fluke, but the pool was the biggest reason I decided against her.

Good childcare is hard to find. We found out things against our 2nd and last DC provider, like leaving DS in his poopy pants for hours until we arrived to pick him up. And, once we were there, she is off the clock. We figured this out when our two week notice was about over.

I would call the old DC provider and see if she would be willing to take her back. If you believe she is safe, you do get what you pay for, and she seemed to have it together. If you wanted more structured time for a 20 mo old, that may have been too much to expect from a home daycare. The only reason I say to take her back, is because I was also a licensed DC provider, and I saw the problems that were caused by children being jumped from provider to provider. You may need to compromise (about education expectations) so that your child has a stable environment. She will know her, and hopefully, she liked her. I kept one toddler that no one would keep because she whined all the time. This was probably from her unstable homelife and then jumping from DC to DC. I took care of her until I moved. She got so much better in my care, but I also only had her FT.

Good daycare is hard to find. Just as parents aren't perfect, "surrogate" parents are normal people too. There are some things that just need to be discussed, others that are no brainers.

I got fired (as a babysitter, not licensed daycare)once because my three children (2 were older) were playing with the woman's toddler in the toy room, one room down the hall to my right, and I was in the LR reading the Bible. It was a small apartment. I was in and out, but the husband came in when I just happened to be sitting down. He said I didn't know where the baby was. (I think I said, "Let me see where he is." when getting up to get him, not that I didn't KNOW.) I asked her if there were any other reasons, as I couldn't imagine there could be any since I babysat for them very little, and she said that was it. So, she confronted me, they couldn't afford the babysitting anyway, and we were still friends at church. I guess they wanted to check to see if I was reading all the time. And, I think expectations can be quite different from parent to parent. I know that she was paranoid to leave the baby in their playpen sleeping alone in the LR. So, I should have known about our differences, as I don't hover over my kids.

I would certainly move churches if I needed to to protect those children. Imagine how many church members may come to her and if there is never an investigation but a huge accident, what kind of questions you will get after that!

Well, I hope I added a little new info and insight. Kymberli


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## kirstenb (Oct 4, 2007)

I think it's important to contact the other parents that have children there and let them know the situation. I know I would want to be contacted. Some may think that it isn't a big deal but I would let them decide that. I also would contact the state agencies and let them know. This is a big deal. It concerns the safety of children so I would want to make sure steps are taken so the woman inderstands just how serious it is.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alllyssa* 
I can't believe

#1 that your DH needs daycare when he's off for the summer and

Off topic but I did want to address this comment. DH has a schedule where he works constantly for three months, but then can have up to 4-5 weeks of leave. Even when he is at home, DS still goes to daycare most days. DS thrives on his schedule and routines and messing with that too much is painful for everyone involved, including DS. He also doesn't transition well so spending a month at home then going back to daycare full time would be extremely rough on him. Some kids are like that. There could be a lot of reasons why they use daycare in the summer.


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## ShyDaisi (Jan 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kirstenb* 
Off topic but I did want to address this comment. DH has a schedule where he works constantly for three months, but then can have up to 4-5 weeks of leave. Even when he is at home, DS still goes to daycare most days. DS thrives on his schedule and routines and messing with that too much is painful for everyone involved, including DS. He also doesn't transition well so spending a month at home then going back to daycare full time would be extremely rough on him. Some kids are like that. There could be a lot of reasons why they use daycare in the summer.

Just to add to this....some daycares will make you pay even if your child does not attend to hold the spot. If you don't pay, that leaves them free to fill that spot....


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## moondiapers (Apr 14, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Inspired007* 
Oh and I hear you guys about the first daycare. There were other reasons involved, namely that it was out of my way for work and the price was very steep. We were paying about $60 less per week for this current daycare than the first. And there was food provided, which wasn't at the first one. I had to bring her meals.

Unformtunately...much of the time...you get what you pay for. Cutrate daycares much of the time offer cutrate care.


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## Ironica (Sep 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Inspired007* 
Also, I want to comment on the fact that when I mentioned that she goes to my church, it wasn't to say that I fear retaliation or ridicule. Maybe you won't understand this, but belonging to a church is like a family in a lot of ways. You don't do things rashly without taking into account the effect it will have on your family or the soul in question. I don't want to do anything that will negatively affect God's kingdom so these types of things aren't done casually or impulsively.

You need to hold her to the same standard then.

What is the impact of her actions, leaving a seven-year-old in charge of several babies/toddlers strapped into high chairs, on God's kingdom? What will be the impact on the seven-year-old if one of those chairs tips and a baby hits their head on the corner of something and gets permanently injured or killed? This situation is unfair to *all* of the children involved. A seven-year-old may not even be capable of putting a child into or removing them from a high chair, just because they can't lift 20 pounds that high. All she could possibly do is run out and tell her cousin that something was wrong, and she might not even *know* whether she needed to do that.

Is her home extremely neat and tidy? I sort of wonder about the "had to" comment with the weeds, and whether there might be some underlying OC issues.

Anyway... people do have this same kind of situation come up with people who are literally family members, and they generally get the same advice. You do no one any favors by not reporting the situation, and you quite possibly do harm to more than one person by keeping this information to yourself.


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## camracrazy (May 27, 2006)

Just curious, for the people who suggested small claims court, do you really think the OP would win?

Judge: "So Mr. OP, what did you do when you discovered that DCP was weeding the yard while the children were inside?"

Mr. OP: "Oh I left her there so I could run some errands."

I'm guessing the judge would think that if it wasn't urgent enough to remove the child that day, that it wasn't urgent enough to warrent leaving two weeks early. But it just depends on the judge. I can see the same thing happening when reporting to a state agency (not that I think she shouldn't be reported, but when relaying the story to the agency, again, they will probably ask what action you took.) The fact that the OP's child was left there anyway despite Mr OP being off work waters down the "concern". They may or may not take you seriously.

I do think that the other parents have the right to know. They may be okay with it or they may not but it should be their decision to make.


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## HappyMommy2 (Jan 27, 2007)

You asked, WWYD ... I would put the child in a regular daycare and not do "in-home" daycare. You are asking for the things that places like Goddard School do, so put your child in the kind of situation where learning and training occur.

In-home care is cheaper, but in my opinion and experience, it is not as good. (not trying to offend any care-givers here, sorry!) I just like the rules (i.e. no TV!) and the structure at formal daycares so much better for my children. It kind of sounds like you want the quality and formality of pre-school, but for some reason keep putting your child into private homes.


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