# My 4 year old's accident



## lovingmommyhood (Jul 28, 2006)

I have NO idea where to post this. It didn't seem right to post it in Grief and Loss so here I am!

My recently turned four year old son, Harry was riding on a parade float with my five year old son and one other little boy. They were sitting at this little mini table. We live in a small town of about 2,000 people so the parade isn't huge but big enough. They were with their grandma who was walking along side the float with two other women passing out candy. As they got near us I had my camera out, snapping picture after picture of their little grinning faces as they passed by us, waving like proud little boys. I put my camera down for a second, turned to look at what was coming next (I am sooooo thankful I did this) and when I turned back I saw the woman next to the float pulling my screaming son from the ground and her eyes were like saucers.

I dropped my camera and sprinted over to her, ripping him from her arms. As I was running away to the house I heard my Mother in law yell "Did he get run over?!" And I looked back with an incredulous look, shouting "NO!" (For some reason that sounded ridiculous to me) I got him to the house and he was yelling "Poop, poop, poop" and as I'm examining the only injury I think he has which is a badly scraped knee. I say "Yes sweetie, you can poop as soon as I clean this." Then he screams "No! I already did!" He never poops his pants, ever. So I knew something was wrong. At that point I noticed his arm which I previously thought was drawn on in some weird pattern for the parade, I quickly realized it was tire treads imprinted on his hand, all the way to his shoulder.

So I put two and two together, with the poop and the tire treads and yelled "He got ran over call 9-1-1" Took him out to the yard and got him loaded into the ambulance. Loooooooooong story short we got to the hospital and they ran every test known to man finding NO severe injuries. No broken bones. The trailer ran over his shoulder, across his chest and abdomen and off of his hip. His penis and groin were badly injured, bruised, bleeding...but otherwise fine. His hand and arm and shoulder were bruised and still have very red tire tread marks...but no significant injuries. He's been on pain meds and has had fevers going from normal to 104.6. He spent a night in the hospital and is now home sleeping peacefully in my bedroom.

I finally spoke with the girl who pulled him out from under the trailer and she said had she not gotten him the second tire which is only about a foot from the first would have gone over his head. The trailer that ran over him was 3,000 lbs. I KNOW that I should be just thankful that he is okay, and I AM. At the same time I haven't been able to sleep more then a few hours because I keep playing it over and over in my head, just picturing what I would've done if my little boy had died right there on the pavement in front of my entire family and most of all my VERY sensitive five year old. And how do I live without him...how do I parent two other children after that? I know the thoughts are pointless...Just, the whole scenario makes me so sick. I just lay awake and cry and watch him breathe. I now feel like any little thing will happen and he'll die.

I feel ridiculous because he's doing so good but I'm stressed and exhausted and can't stop having these torturous thoughts.

Thank you for letting me vent!! I'm sorry this entire post is disjointed, I can't seem to get my thoughts to come together in any coherent sentence.









ETA: He's also trying to process this. In the hospital he said "I shouldn't have been trying to reach that candy..." We of course reassured him it was not his fault...and on one of the rolling beds in the ER he looked down at the wheels and said "Mommy...are those for smashing people?" *sobs* He tells people the story...and just really seems to need to talk about it, which I fully allow him to.


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## AllyRae (Dec 10, 2003)

OMG, how utterly terrifying!!! I'm so glad he's alive and recovering. And thank God that woman saw him and got him out in time. Oh mama, what a nightmare. I'm so sorry....


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## Bokonon (Aug 29, 2009)

OMG, how terrifying!!! I'm glad he's ok, and I don't think anyone could blame you for having the thoughts you are having!


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## Mama Mko (Jul 26, 2007)

That is very scary. I'm so glad he's okay. I understand your fear.


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## Sierra (Nov 19, 2001)

Your family experienced a terrible, terrible and traumatic event. This is haunting, and it makes sense that your thoughts return continuously to those moments at this point. I hope writing about it here was helpful. It might be useful to find a counselor with whom you can continue to process this experience for a while.


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## FallingLeaves (Nov 30, 2006)

I couldn't read this and not post. I'm so sorry to hear what your son went through. I can't imagine what you must be going through. I'm so glad that he is doing well and send thoughts for a speedy recovery.


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## mamalisa (Sep 24, 2002)

Holy crap! I'm so happy he's ok and thank heaven for the woman that pulled him out. Someone was watching over your little guy.


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## Kristine233 (Jul 15, 2003)

OMGoodness how scary!! I'm so glad that he is recovering! I can't even begin to imagine how horrible this was for both of you. I second the counseling suggestion. Sending lots of thoughts to your family and hope you are all able to recover fully both physically and mentally from this. *hugs*


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## laila2 (Jul 21, 2007)

I am having anxiety just reading about it. levels higher are beyond me


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## Mountaingirl79 (Jul 12, 2008)

I'm so sorry that happened to you all, and my heart broke reading your story.
Talk, talk, and talk about it as much as you need to, and remember that he is okay and will be okay and you are gonna make sure of it.
I have two little boys myself and I can sense how you must feel. Im so glad your sweet boy is okay. Please try to put those scary thoughts out of your head. :-(


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## damona (Mar 27, 2008)

oh my goodness... i almost cried reading your story. that must have been so scary for both of you.








's for you and your little boy


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## WindyCityMom (Aug 17, 2009)

My goodness! Big hugs for your family, so glad he's okay.


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## blumooned (Nov 11, 2009)

Oh my! Your story brought tears to my eyes & made me anxious - & I'm just reading it online! Don't feel bad for the way you are feeling at all. I know I would be having the exact same thoughts & watching my son breathe, too. I am so glad he is doing well.

Your son is alive & he is getting better. Just keep remembering that. Continue to talk about everything your family & your son are feeling. It sounds to me like that is working well for you.


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## Tashakittie (Aug 8, 2007)

your anxiety is so understandable, you poor mama! i am so grateful to read that he will be ok, but i understand the shock and scariness of it all. the shock will eventually wear off, and the scary newness will heal. your baby is alive and ok, a miracle was granted. do your best to relax, mama. you aren't ridiculous, you're a mother who nearly lost her precious child. everything will be ok. i wish you the best. *hugs*


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## annie2186 (Apr 13, 2009)

Although not nearly as traumatic, almost two years ago I woke up to a RAGING fire next door (townhouse complex - it was the complex right next to me) The flames were 30 feet high and, just being woke up, I was really disoriented. Luckily - our townhouse was unharmed (although the blinds upstairs and the back of our car got melted!)

For a LOOOONG time afterwards I would wake up with a start and run out the room thinking I heard a weird noise or saw flames.......I would sit there and cry thinking about my poor babies burning and me being able to do nothing for them









I would be almost asleep and think I heard someone screaming and I wasn't even THINKING about fire!!

I know this sounds unreasonable and it doesn't even make any sense to me that I would do this.

The good news is that time does heal all - I haven't worried about weird noises or fire in a long time.

Be glad your little boy has a very over zealous guardian angel and give him LOTS of extra hugs


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## Mountaingirl79 (Jul 12, 2008)

I know what you mean, when I was a kid, someone tried to break into the RV we were staying in on my grandparents property for the summer. ( while we were in it, in the middle of the night)
I was pretty traumatized and slept really poorly for several weeks. Time will help.

HUGS!!!!!!!!!


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## rightkindofme (Apr 14, 2008)

That is one of the scariest things I can imagine. I am so glad that your son survived.


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## peaceful_mama (May 27, 2005)

WOW....how scary!!! I think I would also be watching my baby sleep.....


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## cycle (Nov 18, 2004)

I Thank God that your little boy is OK and will recover. Please momma, make sure you take care of yourself and his emotional needs if he seems to be having a lot of anxiety about it still in a few weeks. You may end up having PTSD which can be very difficult to deal with alone, so please talk to someone.


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## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

Oh, my. I'm crying just reading this. It must have been terrifying for all of you. A couple of years ago, my son got hit by a car in a parking lot. He was barely tapped because I was next to him and draqgged him out of the way while my other two kids screamed- he was absolutely fine and it was nothing like what your son went through - and I still get anxious and terrified when I think about it. So I can only imagine how terrifying it is for you, even after it's all done. If you guys are still feeling so anxious when you get a little space from this, please get yourself and your son into a counselor.(((hugs))) to you and both your boys.


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## NewDirections (Jul 18, 2008)

I'm so sorry







I'm glad that your son is ok. I think some PTSD counseling could be helpful.

Please take care,
Peace and Love


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## Tilia (Nov 18, 2006)

Oh my goodness, I am so sorry! That is so terrible that it happened. I find it so odd that it happened right by you so you could take care of him, but someone was watching over you so you didn't have to see it.

My sister was in a head-on collision when she was 16 and broke both of her legs (accident due to black ice). She remembers drifting across the yellow line but nothing else for days. The mind has wonderful ways of sheilding us from terror that we experienced. Just wanted to share in hopes that your son has a similar experience and can't really remember getting run over, the ambulance ride, etc.


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## Joyster (Oct 26, 2007)

Wow, thank goodness he's alright. Hoping his pain goes away soon and he can get back to doing the summer thing.

I'm thirding, or fourthing counseling. I did a student placement working with people who have just experienced of trauma of some sort and they all seemed to have found it pretty valuable. It's totally normal for you to be playing this back in your head, but it's not at a healthy place for you because you're losing sleep and it's interfering with your life. You might also want to consider it for the little guy, just to talk it out, he'll probably recover from it far more quickly than you mama, but it wouldn't hurt. Your family went through a traumatic event so be gentle in giving yourself space to recover mentally from it and seek someone who can guide you through the process.


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## LittleBattleAxe (May 21, 2010)

How frightening! I am so glad that he is okay! Thank goodness the woman was able to pull him away in time. As so many others have said, you've experienced a significant trauma and you have to process it -- it's normal to have flashbacks and what-ifs -- the instinct to protect our babies is so strong that just thinking about the what-ifs can be a terrible thing. I hope your little sweetie is doing better and finding a way to process it.


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## Mosaic (Jun 20, 2005)

Oh my goodness, I am so glad that your little boy is going to be alright. I'm so, so thankful for that.

That said, I think there is absolutely NOTHING abnormal about the feelings that you're experiencing. I know nothing about this topic, but I wouldn't be at all surprised if this is what post-traumatic stress disorder looks like. I'm not generally one who suggests going to see a professional counselor for everything; but considering that you have not only your own feelings to come to terms with but also the responsibility of helping both your son AND his siblings process all of this... well, in your shoes I would definitely need some help and guidance with that and wouldn't hesitate seeking out someone more knowledgeable for assistance.

*hugs* and healing thoughts to you!


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## momtoS (Apr 12, 2006)

what an awful thing.....thank goodness he is okay! give him a huge hug!


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## CherryBomb (Feb 13, 2005)

That's so scary. I'm glad he's doing okay, physically.


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## laohaire (Nov 2, 2005)

The woman who pulled him out is a hero, nothing less. I hear so many stories of people just standing there in horror watching something go down but not doing a thing about it. This woman is a rare person. Those reading this thread should take a minute to commit themselves mentally to ACT when you see something you can help. My DH and I talk about this all the time and we constantly recommit ourselves to acting - my DH pulled a kid out of a pool a couple months ago, kid was having trouble but not actually drowning yet but DH didn't wait for it to get to that point. We have to look out for each other.

OP, I am so glad your son is "ok" - of course you are all shaken up. We mothers don't forget these things though they do become managable over time. Do get help if you need it. Feel free to write again on this thread even if it feels like you're obsessing over details, just to get it out. I'd probably want to do that.


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## GuildJenn (Jan 10, 2007)

I'm so thankful he's okay and so glad that bystander reacted!

All of you will need time and space to remember things, deal with feelings, and so on. As people have said if you find it gets overwhelming there is nothing wrong with seeking some help. It is okay to have strong reactions and emotions to life-threatening events, and it takes longer to move on than our society sometimes allows us culturally.

Hugs!


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## Stephenie (Oct 11, 2007)

I can't even imagine how scary that must have been for you and your family. I am so glad he's home with you now.


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## ~Charlie's~Angel~ (Mar 17, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *laila2* 
I am having anxiety just reading about it. levels higher are beyond me

This. it took me a couple tries to read through your post, TBH. But once I started, I felt I owed it to you to finish and respond.

I totally agree that perhaps some PTS counceling would do ME a world of good in this situation, because my thoughts would be identical to yours right now. All the what-ifs would be keeping me up at night too.

Im so sorry any of you had to go through that. Many hugs and well wishes are being sent your way this very second. I would kiss your little guys cheeks right now if I could.


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## Black Orchid (Mar 28, 2005)

I am so sorry this happened to your son.

What you are describing sounds like PTSD. Did the hospital refer you to a therapist? You and your son will definitely need to talk to someone to get through this. EFT is very helpful with PTSD.

I am so, so sorry. Wishing you peace and healing!


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## Dandelionkid (Mar 6, 2007)

Oh that is awful!!!!! And so awesome he is safe!!!!!!


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## ~Boudicca~ (Sep 7, 2005)

I agree with PP about PTS. It may be a good idea to see a counselor soon. What a terrifying experience, I'm so sorry you and your LO had to go through that but I'm so glad he's ok!


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

Oh, how terrifying! I'm so sorry that happened. Thank goodness the bystander was able to react so quickly. I hope your son recovers quickly, both physically and emotionally.


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## lovingmommyhood (Jul 28, 2006)

Thank you so much. All the responses have meant a lot to me. Just to know that others have gone through similar things and that these feelings do fade, either with counseling or without. I am going to look for someone to talk to, I really do think it will help. I also think that once I am not having to carry him everywhere we go and changing his bandages it will help me to not think about it constantly. Every time I change his bandages he screams and says "Mommy, I wish I never got runned over!"







Breaks my heart!

Thank you again, you are all amazingly helpful to me.


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## TulsiLeaf (Nov 23, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lovingmommyhood* 
Thank you so much. All the responses have meant a lot to me. Just to know that others have gone through similar things and that these feelings do fade, either with counseling or without. I am going to look for someone to talk to, I really do think it will help. I also think that once I am not having to carry him everywhere we go and changing his bandages it will help me to not think about it constantly. Every time I change his bandages he screams and says "Mommy, I wish I never got runned over!"







Breaks my heart!

Thank you again, you are all amazingly helpful to me.

ohh mama.

your thoughts, your feelings, your anxiety. It's NORMAL.

you need to process through this, don't let anyone tell you you need to get over it. That's your BABY.

ohh mama, I would have broken into a million different pieces had I seen that. thank the goddess he is well and safe at home.


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## AllisonR (May 5, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TulsiLeaf* 
ohh mama.

your thoughts, your feelings, your anxiety. It's NORMAL.

you need to process through this, don't let anyone tell you you need to get over it. That's your BABY.

ohh mama, I would have broken into a million different pieces had I seen that. thank the goddess he is well and safe at home.

THIS. Traumatic events cause traumatic behavior - this is normal. If you were perfectly nonchalant - that would be abnormal. You talk about it, write about it, get some counseling from someone who deals with PTSD - and let your son talk about it, draw it... whatever - to help both of you recover. It will take time.

It's beyond amazing that he survived so well - just WOW.


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## Katrinaquerida (Mar 24, 2008)

Oh, my heart breaks for you... its so hard to see your little one in pain! This could have happened so easily to any of us, I'm so sorry it had to happen to you.


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## LavenderMae (Sep 20, 2002)

I am in tears reading what happened your son. I am so glad he's okay. I'm so sorry that happened to him.


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## ~savah~ (Aug 24, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LavenderMae* 
I am in tears reading what happened your son. I am so glad he's okay. I'm so sorry that happened to him.









This. I can't imagine what your entire family is feeling.







I pray for a speedy recovery for your entire family.


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## Fuamami (Mar 16, 2005)

Oh, that is excruciating. I'm so glad he's okay. I haven't read all the responses, but a similar thing happened to my brother when he was about four, and he was also completely fine. It was a miracle, for sure.


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## LuxPerpetua (Dec 17, 2003)

I am so, so grateful that he's okay. Bless your family! Many, many hugs to all of you.


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## adoremybabe (Jun 8, 2006)

Hugs to you and your little boy. What a terrible thing to have to experience. Your little boy is very brave and he definately has a guardian angel.

I hope that he recovers swiftly so that he can get back to being his 4 year old little self!


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## DariusMom (May 29, 2005)

wow. how terrifying.







I'm *so* glad he's ok. Hang in there. It'll take a while to process your feelings.


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## girlzmommy00 (May 15, 2003)

My thoughts go out to you. My youngest daughter is 7 & was recently hurt in a bad accident outside our home that required a hospital stay & emergency surgery. Two months later, she's still recovering and not healed yet. I still can't get that moment out of my head running up my stairs to my apt screaming to DH "call 911, call 911" and have nightmares that she somehow got hurt again.

I've been going to counseling but my daughter has been as well. She started with nightmares every night, severe loss of appetite, loss of interest in things she used to really enjoy, she'll just zone out & it's like she's on her own planet. Her pedi dr said it's definately PTSD. I'd watch for things like this with you & your son just in case.

Take care


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## Angela512 (Dec 22, 2007)

Oh my goodness! So sorry to hear this happened, but so glad he is safe and doing well.

Lots of hugs to you and yours. Definitely get PTSD counseling for you and your son (and anyone else in the family that needs it). I would probably advise the girl who saved him to do so, as well.

2 years ago, I had just had my 3rd child and got back from the store with all 3 of my kids. My 2nd child was 18 months old and climbing around the car as I was trying to get the kids out and grab groceries, etc. He started climbing out of the car and his foot got caught on the seat of the car and he fell out of the car, directly onto his head onto the cement driveway. He was rushed to the ER and all scans came out fine...and he was just fine...but for months afterwards, I kept hearing the sound of him hitting the pavement and thinking "If only I..." and it tortured me for months. I did have to talk with someone and it definitely did help.

I wish you much healing.


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## Smokering (Sep 5, 2007)

Oh, honey - how awful. How amazing that woman was on the spot and quick enough to grab him!

I hope you ride through the emotions of processing this as easily as you can... and one day, in 17 years, you can tell the tale at his 21st birthday party!


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## kate42 (Feb 2, 2003)

I am so very, very thankful that that woman got your son out from under the trailer. I wish your family all the best in the healing and recovery process.


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## cocoanib (May 14, 2009)

OMG, OMG. Thank God that he is o.k!
This is an amazing story.


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## The Duchess (Mar 11, 2005)

lovingmommyhood I am so thankful that this all turned out well and I think of your amazing reaction and how you just scooped him up and set off running. It was like you body took over as your mind was in shock.

I can emphasize with so much of what you describe emotionally. Our second daughter (we have three children) was diagnosed with a rare blood disease at 8 months and she had chemotherapy for almost 2 years. It was life threatening at certain times and she had a number of blood transfusions.

She is now 7 and full of life, health and joy. However when she first truly recovered as a toddler I remember obsessing over her hair. The only indication that she was ever ill is that her hair changed dramatically due to the chemo and became very dark brown, thick and luscious. Gorgeous hair with her blue eyes and different from everyone else in the family who have mid brown or dark blonde. But it bothered me because I felt it was this constant sign that my baby had this dramatic experience that physically changed her. The baby I birthed had been changed.

It sounds so crazy because we are so, so thankful for her complete recovery but I think in these traumatic experiences we do go into shock. It can take a while to come out of the shock and all the emotions to surface. At times the emotions can be somewhat obsessive or get stuck because it's so hard to process the horror when at the same time you are so deeply grateful to the universe that you have your beautiful baby back in your arms! The extremes of emotion are somewhat disjointed and any healthy way that helps you heal make sure you have lots of!!!!!

Thank you for sharing your story, I am so thankful to hear that your son is going to be OK. You are a wonderful mother.


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## hopefulfaith (Mar 28, 2005)

Oh, mama. How terrifying and scary and awful. I am so sorry this happened to your son and to your family, and I am so relieved he is okay. Take gentle care of yourselves.


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## berry987 (Apr 23, 2008)

Wow - that is horrible. Your anxiety, stress, all those thoughts, are so normal. I would be a basket case.

A few weeks ago I was at my sisters house for a bbq with my three children (and DH). She lives in a townhouse with a second floor balcony. The kids play on it, but it's fenced and there is usually nothing on it for kids to climb on. But she'd put a little table out there so the kids could eat out there together. DH was in the basement with a few kids and I was upstairs with my sister cleaning up the kitchen. Suddenly my sister screamed and ran to the balcony. I turned to see and my 18 month old had pushed the table to the edge of the balcony and had climbed up on the railing. He was _standing_ on the railing. THere was a good 20 foot drop with a cement patio below. My sister got to him in time and there was no tragedy, but I spent several days shaking over it. The realization of how quickly those things can happen is humbling and scary. But what I told myself at the time (or rather, had to tell myself over and over again) was that it DIDN'T happen and for that I need to be thankful. Every day we have on this earth is a gift and, well, I was just reminded of it.

Hugs to you. And hugs to your little boy for making it through so well.


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## dessismama (Mar 3, 2005)

Oh, momma, my heart goes out to you!! I am so sorry this happened... The trauma will fade with time, but do get help. My 4 yo was in the hospital 3 times last year, and one time he was so sick we were fearing the worst... I have been traumatized for over a year now. It has helped to talk about it!!

Hugs to you and your little one!!


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## EarthMamaToBe (Feb 19, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blumooned* 
*Oh my! Your story brought tears to my eyes & made me anxious - & I'm just reading it online*! Don't feel bad for the way you are feeling at all. I know I would be having the exact same thoughts & watching my son breathe, too. I am so glad he is doing well.

Your son is alive & he is getting better. Just keep remembering that. Continue to talk about everything your family & your son are feeling. It sounds to me like that is working well for you.























Me too, my heart is pounding!


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## Dr.Worm (Nov 20, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Joyster* 
Wow, thank goodness he's alright. Hoping his pain goes away soon and he can get back to doing the summer thing.

I'm thirding, or fourthing counseling. I did a student placement working with people who have just experienced of trauma of some sort and they all seemed to have found it pretty valuable. It's totally normal for you to be playing this back in your head, but it's not at a healthy place for you because you're losing sleep and it's interfering with your life. You might also want to consider it for the little guy, just to talk it out, he'll probably recover from it far more quickly than you mama, but it wouldn't hurt. Your family went through a traumatic event so be gentle in giving yourself space to recover mentally from it and seek someone who can guide you through the process.

I agree with this. I am so glad he's ok and that girl was there to help him.







Your love is the best thing you are giving your sweetie.


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