# 10 year old, 1st time Dentist. Should we be worried about CPS?



## TNWorried (Jul 4, 2013)

A bit of background: Our oldest (10) is terrified of anything to do with doctors. This a by product of, frankly, incompetent doctors when he was little that cased him a lot of unneeded pain. A lot of (we found out later) medically unjustified testing and harsh handling by the staff that I would call abusive or at least excessive. We found a pediatrician that he trusted, eventually. The doctor always told us at check ups "Don't worry, they're baby teeth", "Everything looks fine". The doctor retired, and it's been a struggle to get Our Oldest to trust another doctor and/or find a doctor that is willing to have patience with him. He doesn't have a mental issue, it's just that doctors--do to what he went through--horrify him.

He's been excellent about brushing his teeth: Three times a day, fluoride at night, mouthwash in the morning. Nothing rotted or unusual.

We're planning on taking him to see my dentist this summer. We've talked the situation over with him, and he seems to understand. And we've already discussed that if there's any work to be done, it'll just have to be done and we'll have to discuss with the dentist the best way to keep our son calm.

This is his first go around with a dentist. He's ten, and we're worried that that might justification be to call CPS on us.

I know legally, we shouldn't have anything to worry about--there's no law that says you have to take your kids to a dentist. We hear horror stories from people around here about people getting CPS called on them for nothing more than their kids being out in the yard and making to much noise, or someone calling them cause a kid is out of school sick for several days. It's worrying us that this might cause a red flag.


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## dalia (Sep 3, 2007)

I don't think I went until that age. I wouldn't think a thing of it. I highly doubt a call to CPS will be made as I'm sure you are not the only one!!


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## fruitfulmomma (Jun 8, 2002)

Well, anyone could call about anything they wanted really but unless he is showing obvious signs of neglect I seriously doubt your dentist is going to call just because this is his first visit. We didn't start doing regular visits until a couple of years ago, so some of our kids hadn't seen one yet and it was no big deal.


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## MeepyCat (Oct 11, 2006)

I think it's highly unlikely the dentist would call CPS on you. Tons of parents don't take their kids to the dentist regularly for all kinds of reasons. If dentist's called CPS every time a 10 year-old came in for a first visit, CPS would do nothing but visits to families without dental insurance.


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## TNWorried (Jul 4, 2013)

Thanks every one. I know we're probably worrying over nothing. I keep telling myself that'll be fine, that the only way they can claim we're bad parents or neglecting our son at the dentist is if he needs teeth work done and we don't want/allow them to do it--and we'd never do that. But given our community's history and my family's own history with CPS being used--abused-- as a weapon to get even with people just the thought of them scares me sleepless.


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## Vivien57 (Feb 20, 2010)

You could just say he is nervous of dentists so could you be gentle and explain everything. Keep it simple and I don't think they would assume it is his first visit. People change dentists all the time. For my three year old playing dentist helped a lot. Maybe you could explain things well or show videos.


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## 4evermom (Feb 3, 2005)

I would probably explain in advance that your ds has high anxiety about going to the dentist and that this will be his first official visit. That way, they will be more likely to explain what they are doing. By 10, places like dental offices start treating kids as big kids and don't think to explain or warn the child about what they are doing as much as they do with younger kids.

They will be able to tell that your ds brushes his teeth regularly by looking at them and that he isn't neglected by his overall appearance being reasonably clean, not malnourished looking, or dressed in rags. Obviously kids can be neglected and not look it, but I think it would take more than not going to the dentist regularly to raise alarm bells in anyone at the dental office.


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## blessedwithboys (Dec 8, 2004)

Prepare yourself to be forbidden to accompany your son into the treatment room. I pay OOP for my son to see the only dentist in a 50mi radius who "allows" parents to stay with their children.


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## fruitfulmomma (Jun 8, 2002)

Yep, we've walked out two offices for that reason. We have a really great pedi dentist now that is happy to have us accompany the kids.


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## 4evermom (Feb 3, 2005)

Yes, better check the office policy about staying with ds during the appointment so your ds doesn't have additional stress from not being prepared. Some places let you back for check-ups, or for the first check-up only, but not for actual fillings so ask about both so you aren't surprised after the check-up to not be allowed back for a filling. Keep looking if you don't like their answer. Many dental offices have no problem with you staying with your child for everything. Pediatric dentists seem more reluctant to have parents in the exam room and more hard core about enforcing rules. General dentists seem to be more flexible and often more gentle and considerate with kids because they aren't seeing them day in and day out.


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## TNWorried (Jul 4, 2013)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *blessedwithboys*
> 
> Prepare yourself to be forbidden to accompany your son into the treatment room. I pay OOP for my son to see the only dentist in a 50mi radius who "allows" parents to stay with their children.


Quote:


> Originally Posted by *4evermom*
> 
> Yes, better check the office policy about staying with ds during the appointment so your ds doesn't have additional stress from not being prepared. Some places let you back for check-ups, or for the first check-up only, but not for actual fillings so ask about both so you aren't surprised after the check-up to not be allowed back for a filling. Keep looking if you don't like their answer. Many dental offices have no problem with you staying with your child for everything. Pediatric dentists seem more reluctant to have parents in the exam room and more hard core about enforcing rules. General dentists seem to be more flexible and often more gentle and considerate with kids because they aren't seeing them day in and day out.


He's going to my dentist. We've explained it to him, and he's understanding and willing to let us be in the room the first few visits. He's a bit of a big kid himself to some degrees, likes talking this or that new gadget he's got or video game he's playing. Great personality, really up to date, explains everything in very plain layman's terms, scared to death of causing someone pain, and good beside manner.


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## captain optimism (Jan 2, 2003)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *TNWorried*
> 
> He's going to my dentist. We've explained it to him, and he's understanding and willing to let us be in the room the first few visits. He's a bit of a big kid himself to some degrees, likes talking this or that new gadget he's got or video game he's playing. Great personality, really up to date, explains everything in very plain layman's terms, scared to death of causing someone pain, and good beside manner.


Oh, I was just going to suggest that you phone the dentist in advance!

Hugs for you.







It sounds like you're doing a great job with some challenges. I hope your kid gets a cool sticker or plastic ring or temporary tattoo afterward.


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