# Poll: the truth about falling asleep on your own...



## happy1nluv (Apr 1, 2005)

Is there a correlation between sleeping through the night and putting yourself to sleep for the night? (I have a 6 mos old and a 2 year old and NEITHER one sleeps through the night. Neither one puts himself to sleep either. I am going to start the battle to get the 2 year old to put himself to sleep (with a 6 mos old, i can't always lay with the 2 year old til he falls asleep, and when he doesn't get enough sleep he's MISERABLE - and then so is mommy!) ...


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## WhaleinGaloshes (Oct 9, 2006)

I lie down with (or rock) my DD -- just turned 2 -- and she sleeps from about 9:30pm to 8:30am without waking (or waking but going back to sleep on her own.)


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## cottonwood (Nov 20, 2001)

Well, it hasn't been the case for us. My kids that I sleep with (one in the same bed, two in the same room) all much expect me to be with them when they go to sleep. It's a big deal to them. They're 3, 6, and 8 years old. But they all sleep through the night and have for some time now.

So what happens when you try to lie down with both of them?


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## milkmamma (Aug 20, 2007)

We allowed this sleeping through the night going to sleep on his own to happen slowly. DS1 is now 4yrs and we get in his bed, read him a story, sing him a song, his him good night and leave him be. He sleeps through the night on his own. BUT it has taken us 4 years to get there. As a baby we always co-slept. Then once he started having more of a night time routine we started laying him down to sleep in his crib at bed time, already asleep (nursed down) and when he woke up we would bring him into our bed to nurse away the rest of the night. Eventually it was time to just get him his own bed because he preferred a mattress over the crib ( I would too!) I started laying with him in his bed and nursing him down. Eventually he night weaned and began sleeping through the night on his own. Then when he weaned at 20 months (sad for mommy) we would just lay with him until he feel asleep, then eventually we would read and just lay with him until he was almost asleep...we just kept backing off a little more. Now we do bedtime routine and he falls asleep on his own.

We didn't want to rush him into sleeping on his own. We knew that no matter what we did he would eventually be sleeping in his own bed and falling asleep by himself so we didn't worry.

When people ask me about my 4 month old and ask if he is sleeping through the night I always say "Of course not, he's a baby. But, he sleeps with me so we both have a peaceful night"

The less of an issue you make of it with your 2 year old the better. Just start slowly backing off laying with him until he is asleep. Eventually he'll get it, when he is ready. We always stressed what a big boy he was when he did fall asleep on his own. The next morning we would really make a big fuss about it and that really seemed to help things along.


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## Neth Naneth (Aug 11, 2006)

My son 15 months, sleeps through the night 9 times out of 10 and 9 times out of 10 I nurse him to sleep.


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## punkrawkmama27 (Aug 31, 2007)

DD puts herself to sleep (after we read and she has water) then sleeps through the night, in her own bed, has been this way since she was born, never really needed much help from me, and really liked to be in her own bed.

DS1 used to be nursed to sleep, and at 6 months of age slept through the night. Even now he needs to sleep in bed with us, but he falls right to sleep and sleeps through the night.

DS2, whole different story! I nurse him to sleep, then he sleeps on his own while I get things done around the house. He gives me about 2 hours, then he is up, and he nurses on and off (about every 1-2 hours). He has to sleep right next to me, and when I get up in the morning he wakes up crying until I come back to bed and get him. He does not sleep through the night at all, and never really has.


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## mamabadger (Apr 21, 2006)

My children were all different. The oldest was the most wakeful during the night, and took the longest to sleep on her own. Child #2 was a bit easier.
By the time my third was born, DH and I had become quite comfortable with the family bed situation and with having to help the kids get to sleep. Child #3, however, turned out to be an easy sleeper from an early age. In theory, if he had been the first born, we might have gone with a more conventional approach to bedtime. Then we would have wondered why it wasn't working any longer when the other children came along. I guess we were lucky we got the "difficult" child the first time.


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

PSA: If you type out a long response, then vote in the poll before clicking "submit reply" you'll lose all your typing!!

I don't think there's a correlation between STTN and going to bed independently. My girls used to go to bed alone in their beds, then join me in the middle of the night. DS was the opposite- we snuggled and/or nursed to sleep, but he'd sleep straight through at a much younger age.

My daughters are 16m apart in age. When they were little, we alternated between two different bedtime routines. Either DH would snuggle DD1 in his bed while I nursed DD2 in my bed (we did this a lot when DD2 was a newborn) or I'd take both girls into my bed (me in the middle of course) and snuggle and/or nurse both of them. We had 2 queen sized beds in our bedroom at the time so there was plenty of snuggle room for everybody.

I never even attempted to put a 2yo to bed in her own room. The girls slept in my room until I moved them into the other bedroom together when they were about 1.5 and 3, and I was newly single and needing more space.


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## savithny (Oct 23, 2005)

My #1 started sleeping 6-hour stretches at about 11 weeks (basinette sidecarred to the big bed). STTN quite early. Stopped falling asleep from nursing at about 9mos, would just pop off and look around quietly and relaxed , would fall asleep on his own when put down in that state.

#2 was up every 2-3 hours minimum until she was 14 months old and then started doing 6-8 hour stretches. Also stopped being able to cosleep well - slept much better the first part of the night, before the bed was full, etc. Would physically try to create a distance between her and me while cosleeping - didn't want anyone to touch her.... started putting herself to sleep around that time (18 mos old) with thumb (would pop off after nursing and stick in her thumb instead - part of the "I sleep better not touching anyone" thing.

She's lovey and cuddly during the day - but likes to sleep alone. Go figure.


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## my kidlets and me (Dec 6, 2006)

I voted "other" - I have one (dd) who puts herself to sleep and sleeps through the night. She's been able to do this (put herself to sleep) since she was 5 months or so, but she didn't start consistently sleeping through the night until after she was 2. Ds has never put himself to sleep (despite multiple attempts), but is now sleeping through the night (since about 14 months). Once he's older and can understand, we'll start to introduce the idea of tucking him in and checking on him.


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## astrophe27 (Aug 27, 2007)

Mine is 3 years, 7 mos. She now puts herself to sleep and sleeps through the night.

Prior to this I'd nurse her down to sleep (toddler) so she's STTN but not be able to go down on her own. Before that when she was a baby, I could expect her to completely wake up as opposed to sleepy rooting where she did not wake-- so she was not sleeping through the night or putting herself down then.

These days when I go to bed (we cosleep still) I'll wake her up to take a last pee and then offer the breast to sleepy nurse. Sometimes she latches on for quite a while and other times it is just for a little bit. Her biggest nurse is the waking up one and we've been at those two nursings for a while now.

But I think as they age they grow into it -- both the STTN thing and the being able to go down alone thing. As with all kiddie milestones -- it comes when it comes for each kid. They are not all the same and I don't think one thing correlates to the other.

A.


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## sandy'smama (Oct 16, 2005)

I am not sure which answer to pick as my 3yo can put himself to sleep if tired and ready and he does sttn but sometimes still wakes and comes to our bed very early in the morning for cuddles and a bit more of a snooze. my 10mo does not do either. I actually LIKE putting my kids to bed and laying there with them till they are asleep! My dh does frequent business trips which usually last between 3 days and 2 weeks and I never found it a problem lying there with either both of them at once or each in turn. I never thought it justified or necessary to "start the battle" as you call it. I find that lying down with them actually gives me a bit of a rest







before I have to tackle more household chores.


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## roostery (Jan 23, 2004)

DD (just turned 3) only nursed to sleep until this spring. And she was nursing every couple hours throughout the night until January. She still needs someone to lie down with her to get her to sleep, she has always had trouble shutting down. She used to need to nurse to do it but now she'll hold hands or just lie next to us. If we weren't there she'd get up and leave though.


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## secondintheoven (May 21, 2007)

If my son doesn't get a nap during the afternoon (he's 3 1/2), he will fall asleep before we all go to bed and we just carry him to our family bed. If he does get a nap in the afternoon, he'll go to bed with us and falls asleep on his own. He STTN every night and usually wakes up around 8:00 - 8:30 am. Although he woke up at 6:15 am this morning - Mama's a little tired! Hopefully he'll take a nap today!


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## lovesdaffodils (Jul 11, 2007)

I can't really vote because my DS does different things on different nights. Lately, he's been going to sleep on his own more and more. But he also still wakes up during the night sometimes. Sometimes he STTN. Sometimes he needs me to go to sleep. There doesn't seem to be much of a correlation between them though.


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## GradysMom (Jan 7, 2007)

13 mo ds nurses to sleep and doesn't ususlly sleep throught the night

he does keep his bed dry (when not teething) and "asks" for the toilet in the middle of the night =EC

right now he tosses and turns and is nursing frequently= teething

he has put himself to sleep before - and he has slept throught the night before, not recently, not at the same time


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## 4Marmalade (May 4, 2004)

Ds is almost 5. He only recently started allowing us to leave the room while he fell asleep. He prefers us lying down with him but it OK with us leaving and checking on him every 5 minutes or so. He wakes at some point in the night and comes into our bed.

Dd is 28 months and can fall asleep on her own after we tuck her in. Most times we still lie with her though. She is nowhere near sleeping through the night


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## AugustLia23 (Mar 18, 2004)

Both my 2yo and my 3yo sttn and put themselves to sleep. 3yo started sleeping through at 26 months(when he was weaned), 2yo began sttn at 10 months(very good sleeper always). Both are weaned also, which I think has a lot to do with it.


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## DevaMajka (Jul 4, 2005)

I said other. My 3yo ds has never put himself to sleep (well, maybe once or twice on accident).
He was sleeping through the night until recently. He slept from bedtime until it was daylight, for a couple months.
He now wakes up during the night again, to nurse. It happened the same time I cut down on the daily nursings.


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## MommytoTwo (Jun 20, 2004)

I didnt vote because all 3 of my kids are different.
DS1 - didnt go to sleep on his own till probably a year old or so? But STTM at 3 months. (formula)
DD- put herself to sleep from very early on but didnt STTN till 10 months (breastfed)
DS2 is only 4 months but he doesnt go to sleep on his own or SSTN yet..)breastfed)


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## Magali (Jun 8, 2007)

I usually nurse 4.5 month old ds to sleep between 8-9 pm and then he sleeps until about 7 am. Sometimes he wakes a couple of times to bf and sometimes he doesn't.


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## columbusmomma (Oct 31, 2006)

I put DS down to sleep or DH does as this is so important to him. He sleeps through the night 99% of the time. If he does wake up myself or DH goes and lies back down with him. It's always been this way since he moved into his own bed, around age 3 or so.


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## 425lisamarie (Mar 4, 2005)

My kids have neither fallen asleep alone, or slept throught the night. My 3.25 year old usually wakes up, wacks me on the head or bonks me half awake/half sleeping to make sure I'm still there, and goes back to sleep. Often he wants a small glass of milk, which I take to bed with me so we have something right next to us.

DD still wants to be lulled back to sleep every couple hours, adn I assume she will untill sometime after 2 like DS did.


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## doris401 (Sep 7, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommytoTwo* 
I didnt vote because all 3 of my kids are different.
DS1 - didnt go to sleep on his own till probably a year old or so? But STTM at 3 months. (formula)
DD- put herself to sleep from very early on but didnt STTN till 10 months (breastfed)
DS2 is only 4 months but he doesnt go to sleep on his own or SSTN yet..)breastfed)

I agree. Everyone has different habits


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## yogagal (Mar 29, 2007)

It never seems to matter--sometimes I nurse him all the way to sleep, sometimes he finishes nursing, and rolls over and goes the rest of the way to sleep on his own. Either way he's usually up several times to nurse. The longest he's ever slept is 8 hrs in a row, and that's when he was about 4 mos old--is 10.5 mos now.


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## Shelsi (Apr 4, 2005)

I voted that they don't put themselves to sleep but do sttn. It's not true all the time but it was true when ds was little and it's true sometimes for dd.

First I should mention we don't co-sleep. Ds sleeps in his own room and when little in his own crib. Dd sleeps next to us in an amby bed but only because we don't have an extra room for her to sleep in. We also, however, do not do any sleep training except a regular night time routine (bath, stories, etc) and I bf.

Ds started sleeping through the night at 9 weeks old. I would swaddle him and then nurse him to sleep. When we had to switch to formula he would fall asleep with the bottle (and me holding him of course). After a while he just figured out how to fall asleep on his own.

Dd is 8 weeks old. Last night she slept from 9 pm until 7:30 am. Last night I actually couldn't get her to sleep but she seemed sleepy so I just laid her down and walked away to see what she would do. She fell asleep right away. Usually though I swaddle and nurse her to sleep as well and usually she sleeps 7-9 hrs, wakes, eats, then sleeps another 2-3 hrs.


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