# Q for those with stairs...



## olien (Apr 21, 2008)

Anyone not use a gate at the top of their stairs with out a disaster happening?


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## lajn (Jun 10, 2007)

I only used a gate at the bottom of the stairs for the older two (and nothing for the youngest because the holes had already been patched, and h couldn't face the thought of repairing them again







). I just showed them how to go down the stairs safely by turning around and going feet first. They all seemed to catch on pretty quickly.


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## trini (Sep 20, 2005)

Um, I'm not sure if I should answer yes or no! We did not use a gate. DS fell all the way down the stairs (16 carpeted steps) the day before his first birthday. I can say now that it wasn't a disaster because he is fine. At the time it felt like a disaster.

He had always been very "safe" around the stairs and could go up and down them independently - although I can't remember at what age that started. I have no idea what happened to make him fall except I was making the bed in the guest room because my mom was coming to visit for his birthday and he crawled into the hallway (he wasn't walking yet) and next thing I knew I saw his feet go flying up in the air and he went head-first down the stairway. I think he flipped head over heels once or twice and then kind of ended up log rolling down about the last half of the steps. He was very shaken up, of course, and I was hysterical. But we were both unscathed otherwise except for a cut above his lip that looked like a little mustache. Of course, it's in all of his birthday pictures so I'll always be reminded of the incident.


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## PassionateWriter (Feb 27, 2008)

nope...i taught ds to go u[ and down stairs,,,he was great.

i tend to think stair safety does not involve gates...esp if you have more than one kid. there are stairs in many more places than home and they wont have gates,kwim? my son was really good at dealing with stairs (in the beginning he went down backwards..and then went down on his bum...for a very long time).

ds4 is only 5 months but as soon as he is walking/crawling/moving at all, we will take him to teh stairs to learn how ds3 learned.


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## quietserena (Apr 24, 2006)

I have stairs going out of my living room down into the basement. 26 carpeted stairs. Not easy to gate because the first stair starts before the walls so if you put a standard gate up, there's still that first stair.

We tried going without a gate since I was always with DD and when she was 8 months old she tumbled down for the first time. She tumbled down a few other times and then we employed a pack'n'play for a few months, intending to get a Configure Gate but it hasn't happened. I'm gonna have to figure *something* out for DD2. FIL recommended we get a contractor and have him build rail extensions and a nice wooden gate.


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## mbhf (Jan 8, 2005)

We have never had a gate at the top of the steps. We have never had anyone fall down more than a couple of steps.


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## mamarootoo (Sep 16, 2008)

we did use gates. DD started walking at 7.5 months, and refused to try the stairs on her butt!










she's never fallen down the stairs, but her friend has, even though they have gates!

from what i've read, if your stairs are carpeted, and they don't have a drop off (like one side that doesn't have a wall) falling down the stairs isn't as harmful as it sounds. kids can get hurt badly by climbing over gates to fall down the stairs though.


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## amandaleigh37 (Jul 13, 2006)

We have stairs and never used a gate on them. DS is 2.5 yo now and never had any problems. We taught him early on how to go down "feet first" on his belly, and of course careful supervision.... Since he's been 2 he can walk up/down holding the railing with no problem.


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## amandaleigh37 (Jul 13, 2006)

(I'll also mention that the top of our stairs is a small landing - a small space where no playing/running can take place. If the stairs were set up differently, and perhaps in a place where a crawling babe or new walker might accidentally "trip" down, I probably would have used a gate.)


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## Masel (Apr 14, 2008)

I guess it depends on what kind of disaster you are anticipating. My only set of stairs leads down to the basement. No door, just a railing around the opening. The basement is full of not exactly baby safe stuff and isn't finished. I wasn't so worried about her on the carpeted stairs as getting into my sewing needles or the woodworking tools.


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## DahliaRW (Apr 16, 2005)

Well, I had a friend with carpeted stairs whose son fell down them and broke his leg. Personally, I'd feel terrible if I could have prevented that. You just never know how much of a daredevil your LO will be. If you are going to be able to keep your eye on your LO 100% of the time around the stairs, then fine. But a gate really isn't that hard to do in general.


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## Jwebbal (May 31, 2004)

We used gates, because even though I taught my son to use the stairs when he was very little, I wanted him to do it supervised. He is too much of a daredevil to trust doing it on his own safely. Kids CAN get injured (usually not seriously, but with little kids, minor injuries are a big deal to them and to me) on stairs, so I don't see the point in unsupervised stair use by babies and younger toddlers. If you can supervise your child 100% of the time, you are a better parent than I. Of course most of the injuries are not serious, but like I said, a head bump on a one year old is serious to him, and it does freak me out when it occurs (my kid got several of these doing other things). I am not worried he is seriously hurt, but as his mama he is screaming in pain, he has a huge bump, the kid is suffering and I want to make him better, understand? My kid suffered three buckle fractures on his arm, two from falling from a hotel bed (separate incidents), and one from jumping on the couch. He is a very physical kid, and actually not accident prone. He climbs high playground equipment safely and without incident!

Anyway, here are some great studies on stair injuries

http://pediatrics.aappublications.or...e2=tf_ipsecsha

http://pediatrics.aappublications.or...e2=tf_ipsecsha


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## vegemamato (Jul 4, 2007)

we have three sets of stairs, and no gates. we do, however, have a weighed-down playpen and an old dog kennel that both fit in perfectly for when I need the kids to stay on one level. The older kids obviously do fine on the stairs but I am still in the _watch.every.move.she.takes.near.the.stairs_ mode with the baby..









every morning the smallest climbs up the stairs (a lot of 'em) to where the big kids sleep.. we have one set that only has four carpeted steps, so she spend most of her day going up and down those









since I don't respond well to panicky situations, and I stongly believe that a big part of staying safe for babes is practice, we try to make learning available (by offering stairs, low tables to climb on and mountains of cushions) and only help her if she needs it.

I try not to worry much..


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## PTmorgan (Oct 23, 2007)

We have a gate at the top of the stairs, but not one at the bottom. This way I feel safer sleeping at night when DS (21 months) wakes up. He uses a mattress on the floor, so he could get to the stairs when we are asleep.

I don't try to restrict him on the stairs, and teach him "feet first" when going down. That worked well when he was under a year old, but now he's such a daredevil. He goes up & down step over step in the middle without the railings in reach, and I'm trying to hover. He has been getting in more and more "unauthorized stair climbs" when I'm in the bathroom, etc.

When he was 15 months old he fell down the whole flight. DH has near him, but just out of reach. It was pretty dramatic, but not traumatic long-term. He did have some mild behavior problems after it, but they resolved after I brought him to the osteopath for craniosacral therapy to get his skull unjammed.

Our next baby is due in May. With an extra baby around, we might invest in a gate at the bottom because I expect I'm going to be dividing my attention a lot more. I don't know, though - he's getting better on the stairs as he gets older.


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## Lisa1970 (Jan 18, 2009)

I had a guest over when I had no gate as my children were not that age at the time, it was my little neice. She fell down, my sister lost it. We have tile at the bottom. I do not recall what if any injuries.

A year earlier, my own daughter fell down the stairs and broke her arm. It was not a normal fall. SOMEONE watched her take her bike up the stairs and simply told her not to do it and then turned and walked away. Then she attempted to ride her bike down the stairs. She was 4 at the time. I cannot see having a gate up for a 4 yr old regardless. But the fact that she broke her arm says that it is possible for anyone to break their arm falling down the stairs.


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## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

no gates, no falls. We moved here when our youngest was 9 mos. old and crawling. He quickly learned how to go up and down the stairs, and after he was walking for a while he started walking up and down as opposed to crawling backwards. It's never been an issue. We bougt a cheap, hard-to-use wooden gate and it was at the bottom of the stairs for like 1 day before we realized it was more trouble than help.

We have hard ceramic tiled flooring at the entry way, which is where the (carpeted) stairs end. The stairs are L shaped, walls lining both sides, only open at the top.

I honestly never considered putting a gate at the top, even though our youngest has a room near the stairs and often comes to join us in the middle of the night. I just don't see him falling down the stairs-- but maybe that's just my kid, the one that can climb on counters and such.


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## olien (Apr 21, 2008)

wow thanks for all the replies. I am surprised at how many of you dont use gates. I thought DH was insane when he told me he really didnt want to, but i guess it can be looked at both ways.

So, at what age/ability can I start teaching my LO to go down?? He is 7.5mo and can only army crawl.


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## MacKinnon (Jun 15, 2004)

We only use a gate at the bottom but didn't use one at all with DD. DD, our first, was both not stair interested and was easy to keep track of, because she was our only. DS has been more physical and, frankly, as #2, was more easily lost track of







We still taught up and down, but we did gate the bottom. He was only up with us, so we didn't gate the top. He's been able to open the gate since 18 mo or so, but it slows him down, so we have more time to catch him as he acends into trouble upstairs!


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## MissE (May 12, 2007)

We don't use a gate at all. We have one but DS is very secure and can walk up the stairs and down all by himself, sometimes he just slides down on his belly. DD can't crawl or walk yet but I guess whenever she is getting there, we'll put up the gate at the bottom.


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## amandaleigh37 (Jul 13, 2006)

Quote:

So, at what age/ability can I start teaching my LO to go down?? He is 7.5mo and can only army crawl.
As soon as he begins to climb them, you can turn him around & help him down feet first. My son first got the hang of this when getting off the bed or couch, then the stairs.

(I'm sure personality plays into it too. He is very cautious, and if he goes upstairs to get a toy and can't carry it down while holding the rail, he will call for me to carry it for him.) I've also noticed that a friend's DS (who is the same age) doesn't have stairs in their house, so never really learned to go up/down them. He will get a few steps up and either try to jump down (!) or just start crying.


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## Boot (Jan 22, 2008)

We have a gate at the top of the carpeted stairs. I still use it all the time even though I trust my 23 month old to follow me down the stairs unsupervised. My reason for using it is to keep LO upstairs with me. We also have one across the kitchen and one across the living room entries. DS is physically able but not the kind of child who you want out of your sight for long! I don't think teaching your kids to safely navigate stairs and using a stair gate are mutually exclusive.


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## just_lily (Feb 29, 2008)

I think it depends on how your house is laid out. We have a bi-level and our stairs are right between our living room and kitchen. It would be really easy for a new walker to accidentally take a tumble down the stairs.

Our stairs are also tiled. Not just the landing, the actual stairs. I hate it. I put grip-tape stuff on them so the kids have a bit of grip, but they are still hard as anything if you were to fall on them.

If we had a typical two-story with bedrooms upstairs I would maybe not have a gate, but with our current house I prefer the peace of mind that a hard mounted gate provides.


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## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

I totally forgot to say that all my kids, shortly after starting to walk, could scale things like gates, play yards, cribs, etc., so a gate at the top of the stairs seems even more dangerous than having it open in my family. I have climbers who aren't afraid of anything!


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## TheGirls (Jan 8, 2007)

We just installed one. My DD is fearless, but not very adept physically right now. She still sometimes topples while sitting and just started crawling, but makes a BEELINE for the stairs if she sees them. We're working on teaching her, but she's really not even close to ready for unsupervised stair access.


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## Therese's Mommy (Jan 15, 2005)

We use a gate, but it isn't right at the top of the stairs. It is down the hall a bit. Allows dds to get to all the bedrooms, but not the bathroom or the stairs. It isn't used without supervision. I just feel a lot safer when dd#2 is upstairs for a nap and the gate is there to stop her if she should go tearing down the hall before I could get up there to stop her. I have a monitor on and listen very closely, so it never happens, but it is just in case. I even like it for dd#1 who is 4 and obviously has no problem with stairs. I always would worry if she was disoriented during the evening I wouldn't want her wandering near the stairs. Again, this is a very unlikely scenario because of the monitor, but it is just an extra precaution.


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## snowgirl (Aug 2, 2007)

No gates, no babyproofing(ie: gates, cabinet locks, outlet covers, gate around woodstove) for DD. And we had a wood stove. Personally, I really think it depends on your child and their temperment. Now, with DS who is 4 months I will babyproof if needed. I am not against it, I think it depends on your LO.


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## Jwebbal (May 31, 2004)

I forgot to say, I still have the gate ready to put on the bottom of my stairs for company with young children. My friend comes over and her baby has no stairs at her house, and she doesn't want the stairs being this attraction for him when she is visiting. He goes right for them, and is too young to navigate them at this point. So I remove the attraction by having the gate. Frankly I hated visiting people's homes that are not baby proofed when my kid was little. Perhaps their kid wouldn't go after say the fire poker, fireplace, etc, but my kid would make a beeline for the most dangerous thing in the house, and it would drive me crazy to supervize him in these situations. It's like going over grandma's house with all her collectibles in easy reach and me having to say over and over and over again, no touch, etc. Definitely takes any fun out of that visit, yk?


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## georgiegirl1974 (Sep 20, 2006)

We have 2 half flights that we didn't really use a gate with. It wasn't really a choice since one is 60" and the other is 64", and we couldn't find something decent. (We did have a super yard that we propped in front of one set of stairs sometimes.) One flight is carpeted, but it is tile at the bottom, and the other is wood steps with tile at the bottom. DD once fell down the carpeted ones but she landed on DH's slippers. She was scared but fine. She has falled down the wood ones once or twice, but only a few steps (like 2 or 3) and she was fine. We've had 2 kids fall down the stairs at playdates though. DD is a good listener, so she stayed away and went up/down the appropriate way. However, if #2 isn't as good of a listener, we might have to get a professional in to help.


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## Boot (Jan 22, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *snowgirl* 
No gates, no babyproofing(ie: gates, cabinet locks, outlet covers, gate around woodstove) for DD. And we had a wood stove. Personally, I really think it depends on your child and their temperment. Now, with DS who is 4 months I will babyproof if needed. I am not against it, I think it depends on your LO.

I like this post. Lots of people come across as saying 'nobody should baby-proof because you can just teach your child not to get into things like we did'. It makes us parents of monkey-demon children wonder what we're doing wrong. My DS can get into mischief in the blink of any eye. Today he quietly unwrapped all the cellophane off my tampons and replaced them in the drawer while I was in the shower!


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## Jwebbal (May 31, 2004)

I will never forget the day my son took my car keys and put them in the ignition of my car, yeah, we babyproofed before that, but we REALLY babyproofed after that. He was under 2!


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## ElliesMomma (Sep 21, 2006)

i think it depends on the staircase. if you have one of those million dollar staircases that are super wide and padded carpeting and not a straight fall down, but rather one or more bends, it might be safer than what we have in our house: a steep cape cod staircase from the very narrow hall upstairs, going directly down to a tile floor below.

DD is almost three. a couple months ago, the gate was out of commission (it had broken and DH hadn't gotten around to fixing it). despite being a super agile kid and going up and down those stairs carefully for many months, she fell. i was right there at the top of the stairs with her and about to grab her hand, but too late. i watched *helplessly* as she log rolled down the stairs, bouncing off one stair, missing about three, boucing off the next, missing a bunch again and held my breath as she hit the tile floor, fearing for her head and face.

fortunately, as she is such a natural athlete of a kiddo, although she landed face down, she also put her hands out to catch herself on her hands instead of her face. she came up crying with no weirdness to her eyes, i watched her carefully for 24 hours or so, and there was no harm done.

however, gate is back up and will be for some time, as we now have another kid on the way.

to be honest, i have to very consciously navigate the top of those stairs as well. they are steep and i 1) don't wear shoes upstairs and especially not slippers on those stairs as they could make it worse; 2) always grab the hand rail; 3) go slow.


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## Valrock (Nov 10, 2004)

I have a gate at the bottom of the stairs and a gate at the top. DS can open the bottom one but not the top. We have a super steep staircase (heck, I'VE fallen down it before!) that ends on a hard wood floor. I'd hate for DD, daredevil that she is, to land head first at the bottom. Plus, she'd spend all day climbing up and down if I didn't block it off. I like to close the top gate at night for a little extra insurance that all the little people are in their rooms where they belong!


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## NicaG (Jun 16, 2006)

We moved into our house when ds was 2.5. I kept meaning to put up a gate, but then I never did, and he's done fine. Now we have a soon-to-be-crawling baby, and I'm planning to put up gates for her. The stairs are hardwood, and I think I want to carpet them.

If you host playdates, you might want to have gates in place, since other kids and parents might have different comfort levels.


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## SparklingGemini (Jan 3, 2008)

We have a two story townhouse and have never used a gate.

The second my DD was fairly proficient at crawling, we taught her to backward down the stairs.

I realize that all situations and children are different but I really feel that gates have a dangerous element to them all own their own. And I would rather my DD learn a sense of caution in regard to stairs than to feel falsely secure with a gate and have a tragedy occur.

Just my $.02


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## mamarootoo (Sep 16, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Boot* 
It makes us parents of monkey-demon children[...]









:


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## DahliaRW (Apr 16, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SparklingGemini* 
We have a two story townhouse and have never used a gate.

The second my DD was fairly proficient at crawling, we taught her to backward down the stairs.

I realize that all situations and children are different but I really feel that gates have a dangerous element to them all own their own. And I would rather my DD learn a sense of caution in regard to stairs than to feel falsely secure with a gate and have a tragedy occur.

Just my $.02


You can have a gate and teach your child stair safety. Not mutually exclusive. For me, I had the 1 yo who would have taken a flying leap down the stairs had I not had a gate. And he was too young to understand the danger. As he got older, we taught him how they were dangerous if he wasn't careful and he was proficient at them by 2 or 2 1/2, to the point that I stopped using the gate. Ds2 is not a daredevil, so I stopped routinely closing the gate and took down the one at the bottom of the stairs a little after he was a year old. We've never had an issue with him. Just depends in the child. I still have the gate up there because we close it at night. The boys have to walk in front of the stairs to get to our room, and I'm afraid that in the dark and being sleepy they may wander to find us at night and not realize the stairs are there.


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## Luckiestgirl (Nov 10, 2004)

Not to hijack the post, but what does everyone think about wood vs. carpeted steps? We live in a 1920 craftsman with 19 wood steps up to the second floor. The steps themselves are very wide and stable, but I worry about the potential for injury because of how hard the stairs are. It's hard to imagine that a fall would not involve a head injury. We considered installing a runner, but some friends talked us out of it, saying it would increase the risk of falling because the steps wouldn't be as stable. Any thoughts?


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## SparklingGemini (Jan 3, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DahliaRW* 
You can have a gate and teach your child stair safety. Not mutually exclusive.


Oh no, please don't misunderstand me!!!

I'm not saying that the only way to teach your children to navigate stairs in a safe manner or be safe around stairs is by being "gateless."

What I'm trying to get at is that gates can sometimes instill a false sense of security and that still feels risky to me.

Gates fail, children can learn to crawl over and under gates, learn how to remove gates and so on.

So, I think its just as important to exercise a sense of caution regarding gate usage and supervising your children with a gate as it is without.

Sometimes, I think things in my head and they don't come out as clearly as I mean them too and more often than not, what I'm trying to say is lacking big gaps. Sorry about that.


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## PassionateWriter (Feb 27, 2008)

i think it really depends on teh children, and the parents...and how comfortable everyone is. i also think it depends on where the kids sleep at night. we cosleep, so kids arent out in our hall way walking around at night. well, teh 11 yo is...but i figure he's got it down by now.

i dont know about installing gates for playdates. when we have had ppl over, the younger kids want to follow the older ones upstairs...so a gate would not work for them (they would get upset pretty fast if they couldnt follow their siblings). I do have a friend whose son isnt used to stairs and i make sure our basement door is closed.

one of the advantages, IMHO, of not having gates is that my son has never found stairs an attraction. I see alot of kids who go straight for stairs when they see them. I tend to think gates make them a bit more attractive to those kids.

again i dont think there is a right or wrong answer. i think it depends on teh family.

im certainly not being negligent by not using gates though. i think thats a pretty extreme position for anyone to take.


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## organicpapayamama (Dec 5, 2008)

Id like to add that stair safety does not just involve teaching children how to use the stairs. It also depends on the type of stairs you have. I happen to have a spiral staircase in my home and I am terrified of DS trying to play on it. The layout of my home is a little odd where the whole house is on one level and then we have to go down the spiral stairs to get to the bedroom. Currently I dont have a gate at the top or bottom since the entrance to the stairs is in a gated room, plus the gate that fits my type of stairs is over $120!! I dont think Im going to teach him how to use these stairs. Hopefully I will move by then but even adults have a hard time climbing the stairs without a fumble.


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## Ceinwen (Jul 1, 2004)

I have a built in gate with only vertical bars at the top of our stairs. It's a metal safety gate that swings open.

We have a main floor, and then a basement/family room area downstairs.

My stairs are hardwood with metal runners and they're an average slope.

My sixteen month old is a) completely unafraid and fell partway down them once already and b) I've tried teaching her how to go up and down to no avail and c) those stairs hurt like a mother (trust me - I know! lol)


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