# Cesarean birth support circle #8



## ladylee (Nov 20, 2001)

This thread is for mothers who are either planning a cesarean birth or recovering from a cesarean birth. This is a support only thread-please refrain from debate and judgment.


----------



## ladylee (Nov 20, 2001)

Shall we do a roll call to see who is here?

Lee-39
Daughter #1 born via emergency c 3/2000
Daughter #2 born via planned c 9/2003


----------



## UD_CHICK (Sep 17, 2003)

Deb here-

unplanned CB - 7/02 dd
unplanned quasi-emergency CB 2/04 ds (came a couple of days before my scheduled CB due to an extreme illness!!)

I'm slowly transitioning to the Feb/March Babies Life with a Newborn thread, but continue to be interested in this support thread because I will never have a baby vaginally. Hopefully we'll be able to have a couple of more, but that's in mother nature's hands!

I am disappointed in the Mothering anti-CB bias - because it really seems to exclude those of us who have real medical need. I'm not a fan of scheduling c-sections just to have a scheduled birth, I would have prefered to deliver naturally, but there are situations when CBs are a real necessity - and a miracle (I consider both of mine miracles and wonderful birth experiences)!

I do think that many women don't have (or don't realize they have) access to the education/support that might make a CB less likely - and I think it is important to educate women about how they can do things to avoid c-sections. I do feel that the birth process has largely been hijacked by the medical community, and I'm glad that Mothering exists to educate and inform about more 'natural' options - and I believe it is helping us get back to our roots (so to speak - bfing, leaving boys intact, etc.) but I'm not a fan of using scare tactics and fear mongering to try and get women to avoid c-sections.

I wanted to try a VBAC this time, but couldn't because of my illness - my doctor told me that when she opened me up, I was 'a mess' inside and had I waited longer or attemped a VBAC, it is likely that I would have had a serious emergency. I laud the women who do VBACs and am saddened that that won't be in my future, but I do feel blessed to have two beautiful children and have survived my birth experiences in (relatively) good health.

Oops - both kids are hungry - boob for one, pancakes for the other. Keep the faith ladies!

Deb


----------



## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Lurking. Just watching these support threads.

Name: Kim 30
1st CB -- Emergency csection after failed version, transverse baby, broke ribs and mullerian anomaly
2nd Child - Adopted but born by csection due to pre-eclampsia
3rd Child my second csection -- planned and was wonderful


----------



## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

Patty here









Daughter born via c-birth on 3/27/00 due to shoulder presentation breech as well as mishappen pelvis which won't allow for vaginal birth.
Son born via c-birth on 9/22/01- pelvis again!
Son born via c-birth on 1/23/04- pelvis again! Due to uterus opening prior to surgery, as well as lots of previous scarring- have been advised not to have more children









Finally at peace with all of my births, and simply thankful to be here with my beautiful babies all healthy!


----------



## Dawnalex (Jan 21, 2004)

Dawn
Luke- emergency c/b
Irelend- Trial VBAC, but ruptured emergency c/b
Landon Lee- Scheduled c/b July 12 Or sooner if things get rough.

I agree, i hope one day all mothers can come to term with medical neccessary c/b, but in all reality that will never happen.
I wanted a VABC so bad with Irelend, i got to pushing when we "discovered" that i ruptured. Although looking back there were some signs that pointed to that, we went to the hosp that morning because i started bleeding heavily. They attributed that to being in labour. But since then i have found out that it is a sign of a rupture.

I hope that this thread can be a safe heaven for mothers who have to do c/b. So we can learn from each other on how to plan them and cope with them.
I for one am going to plan things to the best of my ability for this c/b. We are trying to narrow down things right now.

Has anyone considered a tubal?
We are thinking about it, because with the more c/b i have the higher risk of rupturing again i have.
We are still talking because we want more kids but we dont want to put me or the baby at risk.


----------



## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

Woohoo a new thread!!! I always like new threads









I'm Megan

Tracy born via c/b after failed induction
Bryce born via planned c/b. It was an absolutely wonderful experience!! i was doing vbac but decided at 39 weeks I wasn't really into it and would rather have the c/b without the trial of labor first.

i considered a tubal but decided against it because I've heard horror stories of periods being horrific post tubal and about how most who have a tubal end up with a hysterctomy before their time (which I'd rather keep all my parts







)

Dh is planning a vasectomy after we have the money but it's 1000!!! like we have that sitting around!

A friend of mine had her c/b a week before mine and her utuerus is still soft 7 weeks later. I guess they started her on some sort of meds and if they don't work they are talking hysterctomy. She also has a uterine infection. She is 33 but isn't planning on more kids and had her tubes tied when she was opened up.







She is a little sad but she figures if she isn't having kids why should she have a period. And she has more thigns to deal with. Her baby born 1/19/04 was born deaf.


----------



## NoHiddenFees (Mar 15, 2002)

I've lurked on the c/b support threads until now... was waiting for the board. :/ As someone with medical concerns that put constraints on VBAC options, I was rather looking forward to it.

DD#1 was born via c/b 12/2001 after 24 hours of labour. She was 2 weeks past EDD and over 9.5 lbs. She never dropped. The Dr. was nervous about my being off anticoagulants much longer and my water had broken more than 24 hours before. Of course I ended up with a DVT anyway, but that was most likely because the damned Dr. took me off Lovenox at 2 weeks rather than the more usual 6 weeks post partum.

DD#2 is due early July. Haven't decided whether to try for a VBAC, but am currently leaning toward scheduling a c/b for 41 weeks and trying for a VBAC if labour starts sooner (Dr. willing). Also considering moving from Lovenox to heparin at 38 or 39 weeks due to the shorter half life of the latter. I have to be off anticoagulants for a certain period of time to have an epidural; depending on the anesthesiologist it's 12-24 hours for Lovenox. I'd rather avoid general anesthesia in case of c/b.

Typically those with my underlying condition (heterozygous FVL) are induced at 38 weeks, after being off anticoagulants for 48 hours. I didn't opt for this with #1 and I definitely don't want to be induced for a VBAC.

I briefly considered a tubal, but between the side effects relative to vasectomy and having to switch Dr. and hospital (Catholic hospital, unfortunately) we opted for DH to get snipped. He'll get it done 3 or 4 months after DD#2's birth.


----------



## KKmama (Dec 6, 2001)

Kristine, just turned 34, woo hoo!
ds born via emergency C 6/01 (too long to explain, but necessary)
#2? due 5/7, planning a VBAC, but covering my bases, too

Which reminds me... who was it that said they'd send me a C birth plan? I have totally spaced out.... I'd take it pm, or I'll send an e-mail, if my memory is jogged. Thanks!!


----------



## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Cesarean birth plan

As this is a planned Cesarean birth we are looking forward to a positive birth experience. We want to participate in this birth to the fullest. We have listed our preferences below, these decisions have been made after research, consultation, and thought. Therefore your help in attaining these goals is very much appreciated.

We would appreciate preoperative blood work and tests to be done on an out patient basis, and hospital admission on the day of the birth.

My sister, *******, is to stay with me the entire time, even for procedures and administration of anesthesia.

I would like an epidural for pain relief with Duramorph. < this I changed to the PCAPump, which left the epidural cath in my back where pain medication was directly put into the spinal column, it was like having a walking epidural and I could dose myself before moving around or nursing)

I would like the catheter put in after anesthesia is administered.

We do not wish to have medical students present during our cesarean. < I did have a student nurse and would gladly take another one, they pampered me!)

My arms are not to be strapped down unless general anesthesia becomes necessary during an emergency.

We would like the option of viewing the birth either by lowering the screen or positioning a mirror.

Kim would like a verbal description of the birth as is occurs. Kim welcomes conversation during the process. (while some people want quiet, I didnt. That scared me last time. I want some conversation)

We would like to take photos as we did of our first child. (we did not do video, but you can add this. my pictures are graphic)

Kim would like to see the baby immediately after birth if at all possible. She would also like to be given the baby or have it held near her in the OR. (my frist csection I did not get to see my baby)

No mind altering drugs are to be administered without Kim's expressed permission. I am aware that some hospitals routinely sedate the mom for the repair portion of the surgery. It is important to Kim not to feel drugged or be unable to remember the events of the birth. We wish that no pre-op or post-op drugs be administered that cause drowsiness or sedation.

We would like our baby to be with us in recovery. Kim wishes to breastfeed immediately. Please do not give our baby bottles of formula or water and no pacifiers. ( I had Jack with me 15min after he was born, I actually was sitting in bed on the phone)

Kim does not want to be deprived of liquids or food after her cesarean.

Please remove Kim's IV and catheter as soon as it is no longer medically necessary. She wishes to get up and move after the birth of our baby as soon as possible.
Kim would like to be promptly discharged as soon as she is well enough.


----------



## Henry's_Mamma (Jan 23, 2004)

Amy Here!

*Henry 11/10/03*: unplanned c/b after 23 hours of labor with 2+ hours of pushing -- premature rupture of water with cord prolapse risk b/c ds didn't drop until pushing started, plus posterior presentation.

As for my recovery ... ds will be 4 mos. old tomorrow (3/10) ... so hard to believe -- time has flown by! I'm feeling generally good although my incision gets itchy at times and is still generally numb. Sometimes I feel stretching sensations, and if I bang the area (like with the laundry basket), it hurts a little.

I'm wondering something ... did any of you ladies find that af got more painful post c/b (or post any pg)? I've always had cramps (even when on the pill), but they're worse now. This combined with the fact that I am completely annoyed at the universe that, despite doing everything I'm supposed to do bfing wise, I got my period 3 mos. pp.


----------



## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

My periods actually got better. I also got my period fairly soon while exclusively breastfeeding. That is a bummer.









I still have numbness at my incision site. I promise the itching goes away. Try vitamin E for that.


----------



## sparklemum (Jan 19, 2004)

hello..tracy here...

amy, i had my c/b just 3 days after yours...

darling ruby arrived 11/13 via emer c/b after 25 hours of labor at home with two wonderful midwives...

i am so ashamed at how little thought i gave to women who had c/b prior to mine...my first child was born after a five hour labor at a birth center - no drugs, no episiotomy, just a general plop and i picked her up and went home 2 hours later...

this time around i opted for a home birth...i did everything i possible could have done to prevent a c/b, but ended up with one anyhow (ruby simply wasn't decending properly, and the midwives and myself had tried everything - we transported to see if an epidural would give us some time, but i stuck at 6 cent. with a cervix swollen like a bagel...then reacted to the epidural and baby reacted to the epi for my b/p and then i had the c/b)

i'm feeling okay, but it seems very surreal to me...and i'm still itchy and sore and my tummy just isn't snapping back - it still seems swollen, if that makes sense...

my best friend had a c/b two years ago and i remember thinking "silly girl, that's what she gets for not doing FILL IN THE BLANK"...now i just wish i had offered to help her out a bit more...

all in all, my experience was very positive - the hospital was supportive of two lay midwives and a wailing woman in labor that they knew nothing about...the doctor was a young wonderful earthy female, very supportive of my choices...the nurses had lots of questions for the midwives - good questions, not bad ones! rooming in was nice, breastfeeding was well supported...i was still empowered...that was nice


----------



## ladylee (Nov 20, 2001)

Some new faces here-welcome!


----------



## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

After Tracy was born not only were my periods more painful they lasted 5 days longer!! My af before pg was about 2.5 maybe 3 days and light with barely a cramp. Post Tracy they were 8 days long, heavy, and crampy.

After my first m/c the period got a little better but when I ovulate is pure hell! I have dizzy spells, nausea, camping, vomiting....name it and I experience it! I'm hoping that when af returns this time it will be gentle.

Like some of you, despite doing everything "right" my ppaf with ds was at 6 weeks pp and like clockwork every 5 weeks. I'm pretty sure I ovulated this week. I'm expecting af anytime now







:


----------



## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

I have always had very regular periods, and before having kids they were extremely painful, heavy and long. Now, still regular when they come back (which is directly tied to nightweaning for me) and there is little to no pain, and the bleeding is lighter. I guess I'm one of the lucky ones- my mom was the same way.


----------



## sarahmae1 (Nov 11, 2002)

Hi ladies... I'm getting nervous for my upcomming c-section, but so excited to meet my baby!

I'm Sarah (24)
DS, Lucas 3yrs. was born my emergency c-section under general due to pre-eclamsia/hellp
baby #2 will be born by planned repeat c-section on 4/2/04


----------



## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

Sarah

Talk through any anxiety you have with us, I know it helped me a whole lot going into my last birth







.


----------



## Megs Mom (Mar 19, 2002)

Checking in!

Analisa, 30 and Eric, 33
Meg, 2, vaginal
Patrick and Catherine, 2-1/2 months, planned cesarean due to breech footling presentation, then premature water breaking necessitating urgent cesarean


----------



## quiltinglance (Dec 5, 2003)

I'm checkin' in too









Kim, 36 Mom to Lance 2yrs. Labored 22+hrs, C/B due to posterior presentation/uterine fatigue!! (okay, big baby too)

Very Pregnant and due the 25th!! I'm watching the threads for all your great words of wisdom and support. I'm "planning" a VBAC but we all know how that goes. I feel I'm not committed 100% either way as to protect myself. With your help I've recovered from my feelings of failure......







. My great OB and one other friend feels I need to be more mentally committed to the VBAC or it won't be a success, I think I'm at the point where I just want a healthy happy baby and what I've learned is not to judge other women (or their doctors) for those "scheduled" c/b.

It would be great for this little one to pick his/her birthday, regardless of method of entry.....

I'm babbling......still processing....thankful for this site.

Kim, ap, bf mama!


----------



## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

Quote:

_Originally posted by quiltinglance_
*My great OB and one other friend feels I need to be more mentally committed to the VBAC or it won't be a success, I think I'm at the point where I just want a healthy happy baby and what I've learned is not to judge other women (or their doctors) for those "scheduled" c/b.
*
This is the main reason I abandoned my vbac at 39 weeks and planned Bryce's c/b







And I don't regret it at all!!!


----------



## JanB (Mar 4, 2004)

Quote:

_Originally posted by quiltinglance_
My great OB and one other friend feels I need to be more mentally committed to the VBAC or it won't be a success, I think I'm at the point where I just want a healthy happy baby and what I've learned is not to judge other women (or their doctors) for those "scheduled" c/b.
I totally agree with the part about not judging others -- however, I very much disagree that your VBAC won't be a success if you're not "mentally committed" to it. Before my VBAC, I read all the books and articles and so many of them say that if you're not in the proper frame of mind, you can't have a successful VBAC. I know where they're coming from, but I think this can actually have the effect of sabotaging a VBAC attempt in a mother who is feeling unsure of herself or nervous -- which is normal, of course you're unsure and nervous! Those feelings are totally natural when you're trying to plan a birth and your previous one wound up in Cesarean for some reason.

Anyway, I decided to go ahead and give VBAC a try even though I didn't feel fully committed to it, and had lots of feelings of doubt and nervousness. And what do you know, I had a successful VBAC after all.







(Even with an epidural... in a hospital... with an obstetrician... and maternal diabetes!) So, it can be done. But I would never fault someone for deciding it's all a bit too much and just going with the repeat scheduled section, either.


----------



## KKmama (Dec 6, 2001)

Hey Quiltinglance, have you looked at The VBAC Companion? (I forget the author, but it's a great book, and very gentle.) I found her thoughts on our emotions as we approach a VBAC to be very helpful... The doubts are totally normal. I realized that different people probably need to be in different places with all of it... I feel pretty committed to a VBAC, but I also feel very strongly that I should be prepared for a C, too. I think you know yourself best, and you should do what *you* need to do to prepare for this.

The more I work on preparing for this birth (no matter how it turns out), the more I realize that there are so many layers to my feelings about my cesarean, and they affect how I feel about this birth and how I'm preparing for it...


----------



## quiltinglance (Dec 5, 2003)

Thank you Megan, JanB and KKMama....

First, I think I just realized (due to your posts) that what I am feeling is anxiety about the unknown. Not much different than when I was pregnant with my first and you REALLY DON'T KNOW what to expect. So, now I need to focus on the fact that I did get to 8cm last time, my body does know what to do.

Thank you for your honesty about going into your birth (vbac) "not totally committed", it makes me realize I'm not the only one out there. I just feel like I'm on an emotioinal roller-coaster sometimes. Hormones!!!







: I too am going from my ideal environment, birthing center to the hospital/ob/place of intervention!!









I have read the VBAC Companion but think I need to re-read those areas on emotions. Hopefully it will help settle my brain a bit.

Kim, mama to Lance 2yrs, EDD 3/25


----------



## KKmama (Dec 6, 2001)

Oh, I totally identify with feelings of anxiety about the unknown WRT labor and vaginal birth. *I* never went into labor with ds (although I did have 6 days of BH contrax ~10 min apart). I really feel like I'll be going where I've never been before.... Honestly, when I go into labor this time, I'm going to be really happy just for *that*...

I've also tried to get my dh to read the "key chapters" of The VBAC Companion so I'd be able to talk to him about my feelings (and to try to get a sense of his). He tries, though I'm not sure how much he really understands (same with pg... he's a wonderful guy, but men just don't experience this stuff the same way).

Kim, how supportive is your dr of a VBAC? There are 2 "supportive" and 2 "unsupportive" (though 1 of these is leaving before my due date) drs. at my practice. I'm learning that I just have to limit what I say to the unsupportive dr. (and fortunately, I will only have 1 more appt with her before "the end").

Yeah, it is an emotional roller-coaster. (*Pregnancy* for me is a roller-coaster at times, too!







) I'm trying to do what I can to get in the right mental "zone" and stay there. Going and visiting the hospital and talking with a L & D nurse has helped a lot (helps me feel like it's going to be a safe place for me, helps me visualize a positive birth setting). Talking to my doula has helped, too.

I don't think there's only one route to "success" in VBAC... we all have had such different experiences in childbirth and in our Cs. We have different kinds of drs. and hospitals, with different rules.

I'll be thinking of you as your edd draws near. Keep us informed!

Oh yeah, other Kim (OnTheFence), thanks for posting your birth plan! We're talking with our doula next week about birth plans, and then I'm probably going to discuss it with the dr. the following week.

And now for something totally off the topic of VBAC and C/B... I've been feeling unusually tired the last couple of days. Ug. I'm thinking of doubling my iron (I was at 34 the last time they checked... still low, but up from 32 the time before). I think the baby is starting to make big demands for iron and calcium...


----------



## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

I am posting this here. Saw this on the news last night. Comments?

http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/West/03/1...er.charged.ap/


----------



## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

I love everyone on this thread







and I don't want to offend anyone as I am very sure that many are on the opposing side of the abortion issue, but I am anti-abortion, and therefore, it is easy for me to say what this woman did is wrong IMO. However in a country where abortion on demand is legal- I see no reason why this woman should be tried for murder, makes no sense to me legally- although morally, I find her actions reprehensible.

ETA-
I am glad to see your still posting with us OTF!


----------



## ladylee (Nov 20, 2001)

I respect your beliefs and that was well-put, jess7396.









I'm for a woman having the right to birth in whatever way she chooses-whether that be unassisted at-home, cesarean or medicated at hospital. Although I would never have put myself in this woman's position I think she does have the right to refuse surgery & shouldn't be tried for murder. Tragic outcome.


----------



## KKmama (Dec 6, 2001)

Ug, I saw the story, too, and it makes me really sad. From what I was able to glean from whereever it was I read it, I think she *should* have had the C. Cs are no fun, but I'd gladly undergo one myself if I were in the circumstances she was in to try to save the life of my baby (no movement, slowing heartrates). I wondered based on the few details they give about it whether she really properly understood the risks and was unnecessarily afraid of Cs? (Like I said, they're no fun, but I would think a stillborn baby would be *so* much worse.)

Morally, legally, I feel really confused. The baby was term, but it wasn't born yet, so still technically a fetus. I feel pretty uncomfortable with laws which grant fetuses equal rights as human beings, especially when they start infringing on the rights of (pregnant) women. I totally understand wanting to be able to say no to surgery--that's what my whole beef about VBAC disappearing is about. But I think this woman acted irresponsibly... perhaps the end result is that she'll reduce the rights available for the rest of us??


----------



## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

I have mixed feelings about this and I am pro-choice. Morally I definitely feel she was wrong. Legally -- I am not sure. I think with a full term, otherwise healthy fetus that what she did was neglect and at the very least man slaughter. I would like to know more background on why she refused the surgical birth.Sim ply to avoid a scar? Then that makes me sick and I think she should be strung up. This is a really hard subject for me, beause my middle child has fetal alcohol effects, something that could have been prevented had his birthmother not been boozing up while pregnant.

I wonder how that woman feels now that her baby is dead. I would much rather have a scar, pain, etc than a dead baby.


----------



## quiltinglance (Dec 5, 2003)

KKMama, when are you due? We sound so close on the emotional roller-coaster.

My OB is very supportative....she has her own practice but shares call with 4 other doctors, I've never met. She tells me they are just as supportative. Again, more "unknown" to add to the anxiety. I would prefer to birth with one of the midwives in the group but they are not "allowed" to birth a VBAC. Geez the things you find out the further along you get.

What is your doula or Dr. saying about you going into labor? Have you considered acupuncture? It's amazing, if for nothing more than the calming effect.







Was your c/b due to post-dates without labor?

My hsb is very supportative, my labor was emotionally hard on him too, all that "helplessness".

I'm still processing, still unsure of the path but I look forward to checking email and seeing all the comments/threads. Thanks. Kim


----------



## quiltinglance (Dec 5, 2003)

Re: OnTheFence, "I would like to know more background as to why she refused the surgical birth"

I think that is key in the article! I'm going to guess that she was never properly informed on the actual c/b procedure, low incision, minimal scaring, etc. The only way to determine if she was educated would be to look at her medical records. Sometimes we just need to get so basic with information. Birth, regardless of method, is scary and decisions seem so much bigger and harder to make. Imagine making them with very little understanding and/or educational background.

I need more information.

Kim, Mama to Lance, Edd 3/25


----------



## NoHiddenFees (Mar 15, 2002)

The woman in question has a history of mental illness, and was born to a mentally handicapped mother. The surviving twin had traces of cocaine (and I believe alchohol) in her bloodstream. I'm not sure education or informed consent is the issue here. I think it's tragic how the initial media reports (the one everyone will remember) painted this.


----------



## KKmama (Dec 6, 2001)

Thanks for the info, NHF. I knew the initial stories couldn't be telling everything.... the whole situation just seems very sad. But I *do* wonder if the result will be reduced rights for the rest of us (despite the extenuating circumstances)...

Kim (QL), I'm about 6 weeks behind you (EDD 5/7). I get nutty early.







I'm really glad I've had appts with the other drs., even though I'm not overly thrilled with one of them. Yeah, I hate the little "surprises" too. I didn't know that they rotated call until I was ~3-4 mos along. I also feel like I have to brace myself for the less supportive dr. to not be supportive of a VBAC at the end (I only have 1 more appt with *her*, but unfortunately, it's at 39 wks). If she tries to pull that, I'm prepared to go to the more senior drs (who are a lot more supportive of the VBAC).

My doula is being so great, so positive. I know she's trying to help me stay in a positive frame of mind, and I'm glad (hey--that's what she's there for!







). I did acupuncture at the end with ds, and it helped, but circumstances were ultimately not such that I was going to have a vaginal birth. I'm going to ask my doula for names of acupuncturists next week...

Ds' birth... I went 2 1/2 wks late. He was transverse at the end. I did everything under the sun to try to get him engaged/get labor going (sex, EPO, lots of walking, castor oil, pelvic tilts, hours of gardening on my hands and knees, yoga, acupuncture, Chinese herbs, may have left something out... you get the idea). Nothing worked. I *did* have 6 days of mild BH contrax 10 min apart (which was a little annoying). On the last day, I had a prenatal appt in the morning. Ds was fine (and was fine in my several NSTs). We decided to schedule an induction for that night (despite the fact that I was about a zero on Bishop's induction scale). I got to the hospital, and the fetal monitoring said ds was in 2nd degree distress. We had an immediate cesarean. He was tangled in the cord (2x around his neck)... he couldn't engage, and I seriously doubt that he would have made it through an induction.

The best things about my C are that I didn't have to labor beforehand and I didn't know about it beforehand (I would have worried way more than it was worth).

I'm definitely concerned that I'll go late again, although this baby "feels" better positioned already, which I think will help. I'm concerned that I may "run out of time" (esp. with the one dr., who thinks that I should have a repeat scheduled for 40 wks if I haven't had the baby... the others will give me 42 wks).


----------



## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:

_Originally posted by quiltinglance_
*Re: OnTheFence, "I would like to know more background as to why she refused the surgical birth"

I think that is key in the article! I'm going to guess that she was never properly informed on the actual c/b procedure, low incision, minimal scaring, etc. The only way to determine if she was educated would be to look at her medical records. Sometimes we just need to get so basic with information. Birth, regardless of method, is scary and decisions seem so much bigger and harder to make. Imagine making them with very little understanding and/or educational background.

I need more information.

Kim, Mama to Lance, Edd 3/25*
Turns out she was using coke. Has mental illness. The works. I am getting bashed on the Talk Among Yourself board and have got some interesting and threatening IMs. I should have not delurked over there. I get sucked in everytime!


----------



## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

I've been doing research on something and came across this this morning. I've been reading about elective csections and emergency csections and their risks. What is the difference? Ect. Just so you know why I was checking this out.

"Dr. Robert DeMott's comments about the dangers of cesarean delivery reflect the scare-mongering that has kept American women in the dark over the true risks and benefits of cesarean section and vaginal birth ("Elective C-Sections Stir Up Controversy," Oct. 1, 2000, p. 1).

In 1965, the C-section rate was 6.5% and the maternal mortality rate was 32 per 100,000. Since the so-called epidemic of cesareans peaked in 1985, the C-section rate had reached 24% (a fourfold increase) while maternal mortality is 8 per 100,000 (a fourfold decrease).

Recent statistics suggest that elective cesarean delivery is no more dangerous than attempted vaginal birth. Emergency cesarean C-sections are the salvage pathway for vaginal births that have gone wrong. All obstetricians know that it is in this scenario that most maternal mortality occurs.

If a woman dies as the result of a cesarean which is performed after labor has failed to bring about a vaginal birth, these complications should be added to the vaginal delivery statistics, not used to frighten young women about cesarean delivery.

Cesarean birth continues to be the only area of medicine where the patient is not presented a balanced discussion of the risks and benefits of the alternative therapies. Instead, the advantages of vaginal birth are always exaggerated and the risks are never discussed,

David C. Walters, M.D."

I was wondering of those of you here, because all of you are thought provoking educated mommas, if you believe that last statement. That their is not a balanced discussion.


----------



## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

I am thinking that the idea that c-sections are needed after attempted vaginal birth going wrong is only partly true- I think that so many people are induced, etc. which leads to the vaginal birth "going wrong" necessitating a c-section. I think there would be less necessary c-sections if labor weren't "helped along" so much. I have heard a lot of stories on our threads of simply necessary c-sections, as well as sections which ended up needing to be done- b/c of prior interventions- which led to the c-section being necessary- as in- if labor had come on and progressed without intervention- the c-section *may* not have been necessary. Am I making sense?

Granted I do think more c-sections are *necessary* than the natural birth advocates say, but I still venture to guess that 24% is too high.

I think the truth of the last statement is dependent on who you are talking to, IMO some natural birth activists do downplay what the risks for some women are to have natural birth (ie- 2nd or 3rd time c-section patients, footling breech, etc), but many OBs downplay the risks of c-birth (I never was talked to about the future risk of rupture when I had my first c-birth scheduled).

Interesting stats that you quoted though about the maternal mortality rates, I wonder about the fetal mortality rates- I would think those stats would be even higher in 1965 and lower (bigger difference) in 1985, am I right on that?


----------



## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Interesting things to ponder.
What I am looking into is, which is safer: choosing an elective csection or having a csection after a failed VBAC. So far, it appears that choosing a repeat is actually safer, than if you have to have a csection after a failed VBAC.

I also feel that down risks are played on all sides. Also from what I have read repeatedly here and forums like here is that the maternal mortality rate had actually not changed from say 30-40 years ago. Maybe I misunderstood. I will try to find out about infant mortality rates.

I don't want to work or do anythign today, can you tell? :LOL


----------



## KKmama (Dec 6, 2001)

I remember now something that I wanted to respond to I think in the last CBSC thread (but I kept losing my post)... someone asked about the figure that is cited for success rate for VBAC (~75%)... No, that figure doesn't apply to *everyone* who's had a C (because not everyone who's had a C can go on to have a V/B)... it applies to everyone who gets to the point of having a *trial of labor*. If you don't have a TOL, you're not in this number. I've read the figure in several reputable sources (no, not just ICAN), so I believe it.

I would agree that probably not everyone is talking about the relative risks of vaginal births, cesarean births (scheduled, elective, repeat, emergency, whatever), VBAC, etc. in an adequate way. And different sources have different kinds of biases. To be honest, I think OBs downplay the risks of *all* C/B, because they feel like they are in control in a C/B (whereas they aren't, really, in a V/B), even though they may not have total control over a woman's blood pressure, her response to anaesthesia and other drugs, whether the baby squirms and gets cut while the uterus is being cut, etc.

Correlation does not equal causation. The rise in C/B and the drop in maternal mortality may be causally linked, but I'd like to see the evidence first. I think improved nutrition, less smoking, and better access to prenatal care may have *more* to do with the drop in mortality (but I don't know).

I also have to say that there are definitely different flavors of emergency cesarean. There's the crash surgery with general anaesthesia and a vertical incision, and then there's situations like mine where it was definitely urgent, but I wasn't tired out from labor (because I never went into labor!) and there was time for a good spinal and careful cutting. Part of the reason that I want to have my VBAC in a hospital with fetal monitoring is that if there *is* a problem, I'm hoping that we will be aware of it sooner and "take steps" sooner (so that if I have a repeat C, it isn't a "crash"). Some might say that I'm taking the risk of having more interventions by being in a hospital (but hey--they can't induce or augment labor), but I see it as a trade-off I'm willing to make.

One thing I keep saying over and over again is that when we weigh repeat Cs and VBAC and their relative risks, we need to include long-term stuff... quite frankly, I don't like what I know about what having the scar (and repeated cuts)... like increased complications in future pg (like placenta acreta), more adhesions, higher rates of infertility, endometriosis, need for hysterectomies, etc. I also think if you're going for a VBAC, you have to try to figure out your own odds of success and your own risks... eg, if you have a vertical incision, looks bad, if you had a prior breech, you have the highest odds for success, etc.

I think the entire atmosphere surrounding pregnancy, labor, and childbirth (V and C) should be about keeping the mama and the baby as healthy and intact as possible. Surgery is sometimes necessary, but there are things we can do in prenatal care and education and in "labor management" to minimize it. 25% is way too high a number... I think it could be safely halved without increasing maternal or newborn mortality.

I totally agree that when someone is having a V/B, she should be left alone as much as possible. I think, to be honest, that everyone would be better off if we had birthing models more like the Netherlands (where if I understand correctly CNMs deliver most of the babies and there are fewer interventions). I wish all women had access to *really good* childbirth education and natural pain coping/alleviating techniques (including water, massage, TENS/acupuncture, visualization, whatever).

I also have to say that I think that most OBs probably don't have a good understanding of natural childbirth or any of the "crunchy" stuff which just might help some women in labor and childbirth. And to be honest, I just don't understand why *so many* women are induced and augmented, and so early (I didn't really believe that it was happening, and then I checked out some mainstream boards, and I was shocked at the percentage who were doing it, and so early!). I just don't see the medical benefit to mother or child, and it costs more, and there's a higher risk that you'll end up with an unplanned cesarean.

I hope no one perceives this as being negative (especially Kim). I'm just frustrated by the current state of affairs. My scientific background leads me to really question statistics and their interpretation and the line of reasoning people use to come to their conclusions. I also am one who likes to really *see* the evidence and be able to weigh the facts so I can come to my own conclusions.


----------



## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

Quote:

_Originally posted by KKmama_
*

One thing I keep saying over and over again is that when we weigh repeat Cs and VBAC and their relative risks, we need to include long-term stuff... quite frankly, I don't like what I know about what having the scar (and repeated cuts)... like increased complications in future pg (like placenta acreta), more adhesions, higher rates of infertility, endometriosis, need for hysterectomies, etc. I also think if you're going for a VBAC, you have to try to figure out your own odds of success and your own risks... eg, if you have a vertical incision, looks bad, if you had a prior breech, you have the highest odds for success, etc.

*
I agree with all you said, but thought this part was particularly important. If it weren't for the size of my pelvis- I still would've had c-birth #1-(shoulder presentation breech), but wouldn't have had number 2 or 3 (or likely wouldn't have), and thus, would probably be able to have more children safely- which is not the case for me now. B/C I do have the pelvis issue- #2 and 3 were easy repeat decisions for me, but I might've been "talked into" them either way had labor not progressed "fast enough", etc., and then I would be angry now at the shape of my body. You hear all about women who can have multiple c-births, and I expected to be one of them (I'm pretty healthy and take good care of my body). I'm not sure I'm making sense- what I am trying to say is that for women who would like a large family VBAC might be more important (although, I agree, in a hospital in case of rupture).

And hey- my OB's never warned me about the risk of cutting the baby- maybe that is common sense, but it seriously never dawned on me as a risk. I do think both OBs and midwives downplay risks to work toward what they are comfortable with, and each have their own predjudices about birthing processes. I've never had an OB that was "induction happy"(you like that term







), but all of mine have been "pain relief happy" in that they encourage epidurals as safe, etc.


----------



## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

Quote:

_Originally posted by jess7396_
*
And hey- my OB's never warned me about the risk of cutting the baby- maybe that is common sense, but it seriously never dawned on me as a risk.*
It never really occured to me either and my obs never let me know. BUT it is on the paper you sign saying you know that there is a risk of injury to the bladder and to the baby being cut. At least it was with my 2 different obs in 2 different states...and Bryce was cut







And a friend's daughter had her bladder literally cut in half (through BOTH walls)


----------



## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

about the lady refusing the c/b....

There was another lady who did this not to long ago that the state was going after but her baby didn't die...do you remember that??

As for this lady, not knowing the circumstances of the coke and everything I can say this...

I find what she did a morally and motherly disicable thing to do. However, legally I can't see what they could do to her. It is legal to have 3rd trimester abortions and we are still able to refuse medical treatment and until those things change I don't see what they can do to her. According to the law the the baby wasn't a baby. I hate to say it but I don't think they can touch her. Maybe for the crack but who gets a life sentence for that??


----------



## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

KKmama, I didnt see your post as negative at all. I love your posts!


----------



## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

I tried to post something earlier and my mouse wouldnt work.









I found this:
The maternal mortality is higher than that associated with vaginal birth (5.9 for elective cesarean delivery v. 18.2 for emergency cesarean v. 2.1 for vaginal birth, per 100 000 completed pregnancies in the United Kingdom during 1994-1996).

Among term babies, the risk of neonatal respiratory distress necessitating oxygen therapy is higher if delivery is by cesarean (35.5 with a prelabour cesarean v. 12.2 with a cesarean during labour v. 5.3 with vaginal delivery, per 1000 live births).6 Also, a recent study has reported that the risk of unexplained stillbirth in a second pregnancy is somewhat increased if the first birth was by cesarean rather than by vaginal delivery (1.2 per 1000 v. 0.5 per 1000).

Also, from what I was reading was that their are other factors that play into the maternal mortality rate, like age, number of births, etc.

Anyway I found this from an insurance company about VBACs.
http://www.phyins.com/pi/risk/minimize/vbacs.html

It doesnt seem that evil.


----------



## mangogirll (Aug 31, 2003)

Hey all
I had a c-section 7 months ago, and they told me that no hair would grow from the scar (obviusly), but ever since I had it, a few hairs now and then have been growing. I have been plucking them out(which is fun, i am almost addicted) but some are ingrown right into the scar and I can see them underneath the scar tissue. Is this normal, has anyone else have this. Also the two hair that are ingrow are making the scar bigger, almost spreading it, and I want to get them out, but I would have to pierce the skin. any advice?







:














:














:














:














:


----------



## ladylee (Nov 20, 2001)

Mangogirll-Hmmm, let me check :LOL. I haven't experienced anything like what you describe-does it hurt?


----------



## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

Yup, I hve hair growing from my scar site. i was never told it wold stop







I have also noticed some ingrowns. They never hurt so I left them and most popped through







: But then I also had the scar repened for my second c/b. So, we'll have to see what happens this time









OTF--Interesting reading. It is a little off topic but have you heard that the average life expectancy for humans is getting older but the infant mortality rate has risen







: We can live longer if we get past the first year but more of us are having problems getting there.


----------



## sparklemum (Jan 19, 2004)

the thing is - we never *really* know why a woman has a c/b - unless she shares every intimate detail and even then - we weren't experiencing the situation...

my c/b was after 25 hours of home birthing with two wonderful, wonderful lay midwives...my prenatal care was by a CNM at a birth center...i had a "proven pelvis" with a previously short, expedient labor...no one would have chosen me to be one the percentage that needed a c/b - nor would the choices i made during the birth seem to cascade me towards a c/b...it just happened...

i have had people tell me if i hadn't stayed at home so long, maybe an epidural would have "saved me"...i have had people tell me that if i just "stuck it out" at home, the baby would have eventually arrived...i have had more than one person tell me, after sharing ruby's 9#, 2oz. weight, that such a big baby was destined for c/b (poppycock! my first child was 8# 14oz)...

i just had to whine...if one more person tells me how beautiful my child is because of her round head i may scream







"oh, those little c section babies are soo beautiful"... ARGH!

speaking of scars - mine is 4 months old and the area above the scar is still quite hard and distended...is this normal? and yeah, i have hair growing out of it...but i can't see over the distended little bit o'flab to pick at them - or you know i would


----------



## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Sparkle,

I had to chuckle at your post. I did think my last baby and Dylan looked so pretty without smashed heads! I know its awful. ::







s head in shame:::
I have seen some pretty bad vaginally birthed head trauma children though. One of my friends son had to wear a helmet due to vaginal birth trauma







He is fine now. He also had to be delivered with forceps though. His head was really BIG. And she didnt give birth on her back either but in the heand and knees position. He wasnt that big, just a big head!


----------



## JanB (Mar 4, 2004)

OK, I just had to share that with my first baby, because I was in labor so long before the C-section, and because he was partially engaged in the pelvis (although not facing the proper direction, although that is a whole 'nother story), he had a HUGE conehead! People who see his newborn pictures can't believe he's a C-section baby.


----------



## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

Both of my boys had beautifully round heads. Not because they were c/b babies but becuse they refused to drop and/or engage


----------



## sparklemum (Jan 19, 2004)

hee hee! happy to share a few chuckles...

my first (vaginal) had an ENORMOUS conehead...as in, my mum pulled the cap off and said "oh my!" and promptly put the cap back on...

did anyone experience "pelvic displacement" - there may be another term - it's been 5 months...when i was about 36 weeks, i sat in my chair and heard a loud "pop" - it really felt like something was "wrong"...

i couldn't walk and literally crawled to the phone to call hubby and midwife - she said there was nothing that could be done, except wait it out...

i often wonder if that "displacement" affected ruby's descent - and the way that her head didn't rest on my cervix effectively...


----------



## sparklemum (Jan 19, 2004)

fence









it is awful, but me too! - after the completely uncomfortable way she arrived - i'm happy that she has the good sense to be utterly beautiful (and round of head )


----------



## Henry's_Mamma (Jan 23, 2004)

My poor ds did not get the complete benefit of a round c/b head ...

He was posterior and was at +2 station ramming into my public bone with every push for 2+ hours. So he had a partial cone head and a _huge_ bruise on his forehead (at his hairline). The top of his head (where the cone was) was really, really red, too. Poor guy. I gotta imagine he had one heck of a headache. It took almost a week for the bruise to go away.

My mom always comments on how beautifully round my head was when I was born, since I was breech and she had a c/b with me.


----------



## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

More ponderings.

I have read many times, especially in another forum I post on on the net, that if you are going to have a csection you should wait to go into labor because that means the baby is ready, etc. However, from what I have been reading on my own, and maybe I am misunderstanding but that it is actually SAFER to schedule a repeat csection than allowing your body to go into labor. Also to plan the csection around the due date. It seems the maternal mortality rate is lower, and that risk of infection and other problems, such as embolism is lower. I am still trying to find infant mortality rates.

Now, maybe someone can post why it is better to wait to go into labor again. Maybe I am missing something. This is something I wonder about because I have entertained the idea of waiting for labor to start if I get pregnant again, but now I am not so sure.

Kim


----------



## Henry's_Mamma (Jan 23, 2004)

Kim ...

I also would be interested in hearing other thoughts and info. about waiting to go into labor to have c/b or having it planned. I especially would like to know risks about laboring for a VBAC and then needing a c/s vs. just having the c/s (other than the obvious risk of uterine rupture). My next child is a ways off in my mind, but I really want to have a strong sense of whether it makes sense to try for a VBAC knowing I could end up with a c/s anyway, or just having the repeat. Right now, I think I want to go for a VBAC, but worry about the utter exhaustion of a long labor followed by a c/s with a toddler at home.

I'm rambling ... hope someone understands what I'm saying!


----------



## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

I was told it was safest to do vbac but if you wanted a repeat it was safer to NOT go into labor first. I'm not completely remembering why.

I do know that I was told that some labor is good because it helps gunk get pushed out of their lungs and such. But I thought that would only be if the baby was pushed out vaginally.

I have a ?? for all of you.

Were your babes pulled out or pushed out???

tracy was pulled out and had a horrid subluxation that cause us issues. Bryce was actually pushed out. I'm not sure how it all worked but I heard her say "I'll push him out and you catch him" Bryce had very little subluxation issues.


----------



## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

My ob had mentioned that a tired uterus that ends up with a c/b (maybe just in the case of repeat c/b) has a higher infection rate.

Also a c/b is major surgery and recovery time is easier if you aren't all exhausted from a long labor. Which I think is why my recovery with T was so long compared to this time.


----------



## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:

_Originally posted by Henry's_Mamma_
*Kim ...

I also would be interested in hearing other thoughts and info. about waiting to go into labor to have c/b or having it planned. I especially would like to know risks about laboring for a VBAC and then needing a c/s vs. just having the c/s (other than the obvious risk of uterine rupture). My next child is a ways off in my mind, but I really want to have a strong sense of whether it makes sense to try for a VBAC knowing I could end up with a c/s anyway, or just having the repeat. Right now, I think I want to go for a VBAC, but worry about the utter exhaustion of a long labor followed by a c/s with a toddler at home.

I'm rambling ... hope someone understands what I'm saying!







*
Amy, I understand what you are saying and I want to know too. I know that for some this would be a factor in going ahead with a VBAC or planning a csection, weighing their own personal risk and their childs. I am looking for this information. Not sure how much has been said about this subject!


----------



## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:

_Originally posted by its_our_family_
*I was told it was safest to do vbac but if you wanted a repeat it was safer to NOT go into labor first. I'm not completely remembering why.

I do know that I was told that some labor is good because it helps gunk get pushed out of their lungs and such. But I thought that would only be if the baby was pushed out vaginally.

I have a ?? for all of you.

Were your babes pulled out or pushed out???

tracy was pulled out and had a horrid subluxation that cause us issues. Bryce was actually pushed out. I'm not sure how it all worked but I heard her say "I'll push him out and you catch him" Bryce had very little subluxation issues.*
Elizabeth was pushed, pulled and forced out buttocks first. She was wedged in weird as a transverse breech and because my uterus is weirdly shaped. The right horn is larger than the left and her legs were hooked around my septum into the left horn. Lovely eh? They had a very difficult time getting her out. I have pictures of it.









Dylan, I have no idea.

Jack they tried to push out. He was posterior, shoulder presenting against the cervix and his head was pretty lodged down there. his head was to the left and his body stretched up into the right horn. I imagine had his head been against my cervix I might could have had a vaginal delivery.







: Anyway, the doctor had to use the vacuum to get him out! I preferred that over forceps and she asked me what I preferred. I really inspected his head and he had no mark on him. I have pictures of his birth too. I should scan my csection pictures for all of yall to see, my first are really graphic and are magazine material.


----------



## sparklemum (Jan 19, 2004)

before my c/b i would have been very pro-vbac (for myself), but after the experience of an exhausting, lengthy and very painful labor followed by a c/b - a repeat c/b would probably be my choice...

i think it is an extremely personal decision and family demands and family support must be factored in....i have no family, other than hubby and we really struggled after the c/b...


----------



## UD_CHICK (Sep 17, 2003)

My ob told me too that it is better to have the cb before you go into labor. Of course, I don't have any info as to why. I'll ask during my next checkup - in about 2 wks.


----------



## Henry's_Mamma (Jan 23, 2004)

Along the same lines, and maybe this has been discussed before ... when you VBAC in a hospital, do they let you walk around, move, get in the shower, etc., or are you stuck in bed hooked up to monitors for the entire labor? With ds, I was stuck in bed hooked up to monitors b/c my water broke before he engaged, so they were worried about cord prolapse. With back labor to boot, I couldn't deal with being flat on my back through contractions (they wouldn't let me even roll to my sides b/c the monitors kept coming off -- apparently my uterus does not show contractions well on the monitor -- go figure), and I ended up with an epidural b/c I couldn't deal with the pain (and that was w/o Pit). I'm afraid, given past experience, that if I'm going to be required to stay in bed hooked to monitors for the duration of a VBAC labor, what's the point since I can't do anything to help myself? Maybe that's naive and a doula could help but ... I've btdt and it wasn't fun -- I might as well have a c/s and skip that part.

Rambling again ... any thoughts?

Amy


----------



## sparklemum (Jan 19, 2004)

having never labored in a bed with anything strapped to me, i have so much respect for those that do (for whatever reason)...it just stinking hurts!

when we transported, they made me get in bed so they could do the IV and all that stuff...it was soooo awful...they wanted to wheel me up in a wheelchair, but i refused - I have to be able to move during labor or I just couldn't cope with the pain...at that point, i didn't feel like i was laboring, if that makes sense...

i don't think you are being naive, i think you are being realistic...i would research your options - run scenarios past your ob/midwife and get a feel for what they expect - a doula can only do so much if the hospital isn't cooperative or supportive....


----------



## KKmama (Dec 6, 2001)

At *my* hospital, there's telemetry in all rooms, so I don't have to be immobilized. (Unless there's a medical reason to immobilize me or I opt for the epidural, which I'm planning to avoid.) I've asked dozens of people (it seems) whether it's totally for sure that I can have telemetry, that it's in all rooms, that I can walk around, etc., and they all say yes.

I'd find out what's available at your hospital. And if telemetry is available (but say, not in all rooms), I'd make darned sure when I called/arrived to let them know that telemetry was *necessary*.


----------



## Henry's_Mamma (Jan 23, 2004)

Totally forgot there was telemetry ... duh. I wonder if the hospital I'm thinking about has it (its different from the one I delivered ds in -- I will never go back there).

Must investigate that ...


----------



## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

I am just bumping this up.

Hi everyone!


----------



## matts_mamamama (Mar 19, 2004)

Had my son via csect after 18 hours of hard labor.









He was totally stuck and facing the wrong way! They had me rolling and moving all over the place all day to try to move him a little, but to no avail!

I didn't feel like the recovery was all that bad! I was able to get up and walk around fairly quickly and healed very nicely. The biggest downfall was how hard it was to go to the bathroom - sure! Drink tons of water to stay hydrated for bf, but your ab muscles are as weak as they ever could be, so you can't get up off the toilet once you plop down!!









OB says we can try VBAC next time, but wouldn't promise anything until it happens. In addition, I'm honestly not sure I'd want to....


----------



## rainbowmoon (Oct 17, 2003)

hi there. glad to see this thread! I just had a c/b 17 days ago.









i went into labor and things were progressing weel until my son seemd to get *stuck* in a wierd position..(not because of lack of pelvic room either) i was in active labor for almost 24 hrs and his head was transverse like with his ear presenting.. i pushed for 4 hours with no progress as he would not move past station 0. i am so lucky as my birth experience was extremely positive even in light of the surgery. though nothing I had ever imagined for myself (I had originally wanted to UC and a waterbirth & still dreaming of it someday) we had been planning a birth center waterbirth which ended in a hospital transfer, augmentation and c/b. we definitly plan to try for a VBAC at home next time around though!

so I'm wondering, can anyone reccomend some good links to resource sites,articles,books,yahoogroups,etc (other than ICAN)?









Kim-how in the world did you manage to let them agree to let you eat and drink after a c/s at your hospital? i was most upset about this *policy* our hospital have as to they have to hear bowel sounds first before they let you eat. as i hadn't eaten in 2 days, i was just starved after my long exhausting labor and then the surgery- they wouldn't even let me have a drink of water for like 24 hours I think if I'm remembeiring correctly! THAT WAS PURE TORTURE!


----------



## KKmama (Dec 6, 2001)

Welcome to the newcomers!

VBAC resources:

Believe it or not, there's a pretty good collection of VBAC birth stories at iVillage (http://www.ivillage.com/topics/pregb...166376,00.html and then click on appropriate links).

This http://www.worldserver.com/turk/birthing/rrvbac.html is a site which lists research on VBAC (and gives brief abstracts).

I say it over and over, The VBAC Companion is a great book for preparation for a VBAC.

Kim, I've wondered the same thing about your eating. I've kind of decided that if I wind up with a repeat, I'm taking my Clif bars with me and not waiting more than 24 hrs (36 absolute max) before I start nibbling on one. I went something like 2 1/2 days before they let me eat... it was insane... I couldn't fart because my poor bottom was confused and swollen (because of rhoids exacerbated by useless castor oil) and my intestines were empty (castor oil). They also wouldn't treat my poor rhoids (not even Tucks, for cryin' out loud!). So no food for KK tell the dr. came down on the nurses and told them they were being ridiculous...


----------



## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:

_
Kim-how in the world did you manage to let them agree to let you eat and drink after a c/s at your hospital? i was most upset about this *policy* our hospital have as to they have to hear bowel sounds first before they let you eat. as i hadn't eaten in 2 days, i was just starved after my long exhausting labor and then the surgery- they wouldn't even let me have a drink of water for like 24 hours I think if I'm remembeiring correctly! THAT WAS PURE TORTURE!







[/B]_
_
_
_
Well, you see, in case you haven't heard the rumors, I
am a total bitch.









Anyway, before I had my csection I talked and talked and talked to my doctor about this policy. We talked about this risks of eating and drinking before bowel sounds, etc. I also took an article from the ACOG that discussed the benefits of allowing patients to ear soft foods after surgery, that it speeded the recovery and that they didn't have any more problems than those who didn't eat. Also, I told her that starving me wasn't an option -- Either the hospital feeds me OR I was arranging for delivery.

That sucks they did that too you. I had ice chips in recovery. Keep in mind, I was in high spirits and in great condition, I didn't have any of the usual drugs given during surgery either. When I got to my room, I started on fluids. I wasn't hungry at first, then I moved to soft foods, and then eventually I had hubby bringing me whatever I wanted. The hospital even got me shakes to drinks.








I say the next time, discuss your options with a back up doctor to a midwife or if you have something planned -- well make arrangements before hand.

I am glad that overall you had a good experience and I hope you didn't see your surgical birth as a failure because it surely was not.

Thanks for joining us!







_


----------



## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:

_Originally posted by KKmama_
*Kim, I've wondered the same thing about your eating. I've kind of decided that if I wind up with a repeat, I'm taking my Clif bars with me and not waiting more than 24 hrs (36 absolute max) before I start nibbling on one. I went something like 2 1/2 days before they let me eat... it was insane... I couldn't fart because my poor bottom was confused and swollen (because of rhoids exacerbated by useless castor oil) and my intestines were empty (castor oil). They also wouldn't treat my poor rhoids (not even Tucks, for cryin' out loud!). So no food for KK tell the dr. came down on the nurses and told them they were being ridiculous...*
I was gone before 48 hours. I was eating like a horse. I was passing gas within hours after the surgery. Rocking helps that. If you can request a rocking chair in your room (also good for labor) get one, it helps move things, or rock in the bed if you have CB and hold the pillows close so you dont feel like you are losing your guts.
I would tell them you are going to eat soft foods, and if you get sick you are taking that chance. Smuggle food in if you have too.
Hace a Cracker Barrel near by?


----------



## KKmama (Dec 6, 2001)

Rocking chair, heck, I was walking laps upon laps around the post partum ward trying to get one lousy fart out. (One of my kindest nurses told me later, "I was assigned to a different patient that shift, but I saw you, and I thought to myself, there's some poor C section mom who's trying to pass gas so she can eat!")

I'm definitely bringing food (and eating it when I get hungry this time), as well as simethicone, Tucks, whatever. I'm more afraid of gas pain/rhoids not being treated (and me going hungry, too) than I am about the possibility of a repeat C.

And that's "no food for KK *till* the dr. came" in my last post... I can spell, but typing is more challenging...


----------



## rainbowmoon (Oct 17, 2003)

thanks for the links, I will start checking these out!

kim, yes i definitly see this birth as a success, i'm actually grateful for the experience now. just in a different light if you KWIM? if you had told me a month ago these words would be coming out of my mouth I would have laughed!

as for the eating, i wasn't even allowed ice chips! I truly feel them making me wait to eat after my csection messed me up enough to land me back in the hospital last week for 5 days w/ pancreatitits this past week.







i never had the gas pains or anything like that and my BM were regular within 2 days. ( I started eating after 24 hours) but the nausea started about then and lasted until this last hospital visit. they suspect possible gallstones?(and i thought it was from my milk coming in!)


----------



## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:

_Originally posted by rainbowmoon_
*thanks for the links, I will start checking these out!

kim, yes i definitly see this birth as a success, i'm actually grateful for the experience now. just in a different light if you KWIM? if you had told me a month ago these words would be coming out of my mouth I would have laughed!

as for the eating, i wasn't even allowed ice chips! I truly feel them making me wait to eat after my csection messed me up enough to land me back in the hospital last week for 5 days w/ pancreatitits this past week.







i never had the gas pains or anything like that and my BM were regular within 2 days. ( I started eating after 24 hours) but the nausea started about then and lasted until this last hospital visit. they suspect possible gallstones?(and i thought it was from my milk coming in!)*
Rainbow its amazing what our children teach us, just their very entrance into the world!


----------



## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

*Drinking warm apple juice will help you fart!!!* If you buy the little kids ones you can heat them up in the sink with hot water and they'll never know (if they have a problem with it)

A friend of mine was in the hospital for 3 days LONGER than her newborn because she couldn't fart!! Her LC said...um, drink warm apple juice. Needless to say she went home 2 hours later









With Tracy they watched me with the farting and bowel mvmnts. This time, I was eating a real meal about 3 hours post c/b. They just otld me to be careful because I may regret it







I did get a suppository to help me have a bowel mvmnt before I left though. I'm still not really that regular.


----------



## 3bees~1flower (Feb 24, 2003)

hi, mamas!







i'm so glad to have a found a c-section thread. i haven't read all the posts, but wanted to share my biths. we are expecting blessing #4 in OCT. it will be my 4th section. i am so looking foward to it.

Ds#1 was born c-section at 33 wks, 4 lbs 8 oz due to me having severe pre-eclampsia and he being double footling breech and after a failed external version. it was a good experience, i know it had to be done so why be upset about it.

Ds #2 i was attempting a VBAC, was induced 3 days early due to my size. i had a great labor, fairly quick as first labors go. but at 10 cm i had zippo urge to push, i would push, but on;y cuz they said i was complete. it didn't feel good at all to push, felt like he was going to come shooting out my scar. so on to section #2 we went. again, a very positive experience. he was NOT coming outta this bod, being the petite 10 lbs 7 oz that he was!









Ds #3 was a scheduled c-section, 10 lbs 3 oz. an awesome experience. i told them i wanted to watch so they lugged a mirror down there for me...what an awesome thing!

Dc #4 will be a scheduled section as well. so looking forward to it.

i hear of so many people who are so torn up about a section, and i spose i could be, but i am not. that was how i was chosen to give birth to my babies and i looked forward to each birth as if i were having a vaginal birth. if there were no medical way to give birth other than vaginally, i or my babies could have died during any of the births, why would i want to risk it. so to those who are torn about them, please just embrace this birth experience and enjoy it to the fullest extent. after all, what is more important, a healthy mom and baby or knowing you gave birth through your vagina (the exact thoughts i had for myself when thinking of the births of my babies and future babies). i hope this hasn't offended anyone, but it's how i feel and felt i needed to express what has gone through my head so many times reading different birth stories. please accept my appologies if this was offensive to you.

this will be our last baby and i will be getting a tubal during the section.


----------



## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

Just wanted to pipe in quick while I nak- EAT! I had my last birth at 8 am, and I managed to get a lunch tray of real food. The only reason I got it before passing gas was b/c the morphine was doing zippo for me, and I was insisting on darvocet- which you cannot take on an empty stomach- so I HAD to eat first









With my 2 previous births I had to wait until I passed gas, and frankly I was constipated the same amount each time. Part of what I realized was that darvocet has constipation as a side-affect







:

So- EAT ladies! And IMO warm prune juice although







uke is the best for the constipation


----------



## KKmama (Dec 6, 2001)

I'm really loving the eating/gas/constipation comments (seriously). I wonder if I should take a stool softener with me to the hospital and/or insist on getting one there? I think I'll have problems no matter now the baby comes out... The Clif bars helped a ton last time, but I'll try the juice, too.

Sigh... it's so nice to talk to women who *understand* this. I have felt like such a nut, because I'm not at all afraid of labor or repeat C... I'm afraid my bottom won't cooperate afterward!


----------



## sparklemum (Jan 19, 2004)

the constipation was the worse thing ever...i mean IF YOU KNOW I AM GOING TO BE CONSTIPATED...why not give me prune juice? My section was an emergency and I had no clue what to expect...the gas pain was insane and the nurses FINALLY told me what was going on like I was a total dipshit (sorry) but how would I KNOW what to expect with c-section? the gas was so bad I felt like I was dying..I was convinced there was something wrong with me and I was dying from an infection or who knows what...

It was my first c/b and my first major surgery...By the time I knew what was going on (day two) I asked for warm prune juice...Worked wonders...and I avoided some the really nasty food they were giving me...My first meal was spicy spaghetti with bread? Argh! Where's the fiber?

So I guess if you know what to expect, intestinely speaking, you are way ahead of the game...


----------



## sparklemum (Jan 19, 2004)

oh yes! and narcotics are a constipating thing in and of themselves...sheesh!

they gave me the stool softener - didn't do anything for me...prunes, baby...prunes!


----------



## 3bees~1flower (Feb 24, 2003)

my favorite combo for pain control is motrin 800 mg (which they give around the clock anyway) and 1-2 Darvocet...that is an awesome combo and not a very strong one at that, but it works great. also my hospital gives MOM routinely to all post-partum moms...now THAT is some nasty stuff, but it seems to work.


----------



## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

With my first c/b I was given stool softener almost right away. this time I was only given one at night. The day i was going to leave (day 2 post c/b) I hadn't had a bowel mvmnt yet so I got a suppository. I wanted to go home and that def did the trick. I tried prune juice but it didn't do anything.

My first meal post c/b was about 3 hours later (Bryce was in special care and i was still numb waist down so I was all alone). It was a chicken sandwich and fries, jello and yogurt. It was a pretty good lunch. They also had a wonderful fridge full of all kinds of goodies!! I like making that trip to the fridge every couple hours. We were encouraged to eat well but to still be careful. Or at least I was. My friend Debbie had her c/b there 2 weeks previous with the same ob and wasn't allowed solids for a day until she "proved" herself. Maybe the difference was it was my second c/b and her first







:


----------



## Henry's_Mamma (Jan 23, 2004)

I guess the only thing moderately "progressive" about my hospital is that I was allowed to eat about 12 hours after c/b. I had ice chips in recovery (although dh had a bottle of water and was giving me some of that -- my logic was that the ice melts into water, so why not just drink it). I told him I would stop if I felt sick (never did -- I was so thirsty, after a long labor and surgery). Somewhere around 5am (c/b was at 8pm), I was actually given a pitcher of water which I downed in about 5 minutes.









When my roommate got breakfast the next morning and I didn't (I hadn't eaten in 36 hours), I made a huge stink and I got a tray. Get this -- corn flakes (those tiny boxes), skim milk, coffee, apple juice, and a diet blueberry muffin. Um, how about some protein? I ate the cereal and that was about it. I called dh and he brought me a piece of apple pie (I had made an apple pie the night before I went into labor). Damn it was good! I ate like a pig the rest of the time in the hospital.

My hospital provided stool softeners and anti-gas meds at the bedside. The nurses encouraged you to take them and I did. They worked great. I think I had a bowel movement 3 days post-c/b. I never really had a lot of gas, but maybe that's b/c I took my simethicone.

Am I crazy or am I the only one who only needed motrin (600 mg, or whatever is equivalent to 3 Advil) for pain relief? That's all I took since I hate the way Percocet makes me feel (and that's all I was offered other than motrin).


----------



## sparklemum (Jan 19, 2004)

i was pretty fond of the motrin...i really loved the toradol (sp?) - that was the best...i had to take the percocet to get any sleep...i was almost manic in the hospital, if that makes sense...very edgy, very uncomfortable...very out of my element...it was strange being so dopey, yet having a baby roomed in and being expected to get her if she cried...that was bizarre...

once i got home, i took 1/2 a viodin in the morning, but that was it...i hate the way it makes me feel, too...yuck


----------



## rainbowmoon (Oct 17, 2003)

wow I guess I will consider myself lucky that I didn't have the gas pains at all! (I was waiting for it, as I knew beforehand from doula training that this happens, but it never did)

I would definitly take a stool softner, they were giving it to me at the hospital and I'm still taking them (with a fiber laxative) as my sysytem has been all messed up since my 2nd hospitaliztion.







: fortunatley they don't make you have a BM at our hospital before discharging you. (they just make you fill up the toilet hat w/ pee)

they also gave me the percocet and ibuprofin which both made me feel really sick.

Henry's mama-I hear you about the hospital food! The first *real* thing I got to eat after my c/b was toast and after my bout with pancreatitis it was string beans, a roll and a fruit salad...yuck. I don't kniow if your a veggie (I am ) but they definitly don't susbsitute for any proteins in our hospital...grrr.


----------



## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

What about relative pain?? Did you guys have that? As soon as Bryce was born I got this horrid pain. it is probably the most excruciating thing I have ever felt!! It was like someone was stabbing me in the shoulder and lasted for about 3 hours. No pain meds relieved that pain!!


----------



## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

Do you mean deferred pain? That is what my anesthesiologist called it with my dd's birth, they took her out and suddenly my shoulders were killing me, I had to ask for some major pain med, and I'm not sure what he put in my IV, but, I fell asleep and woke up in recovery. Is that the pain you are talking about?


----------



## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

YES! deferred pain..not relative pain..where is my brain???


----------



## KKmama (Dec 6, 2001)

Y'know, when I've referred to gas pain, it's that pain in the shoulder that I'm talking about. When they open you up, some air gets inside your body, and for whatever reason, it seems to migrate up toward your shoulders. And yes, simethicone helps it to diminish (and so did the vicodin).

Except for an incident or 2 of out of control gas pain or afterbirth pain, I was off the narcotics after the 1st full day, I think. Onto the very large advils...


----------



## UD_CHICK (Sep 17, 2003)

I'm about 4 weeks out from my c-section - and I'm still feeling pretty poorly. I had to give up the motrin last week because it was starting to eat my stomach.

I know I've been doing too much - but I don't have a personal assistant to help me at home.

I had quite a few complications (went in with the Norwalk virus, got a kidney infection, got cellulitus in my abdomen - was in the hospital 10 days total - treated with IV antibiotics at home for 5 days after that), so I'm wondering if any of you remember how long you went before you stopped feeling really painful pulling in your abdomen.

The doctor who did the section also told me that I had severe scarring and adhesions from my last cbirth, and that she tried to repair them - so I'm wondering if that's why I still feel so poorly.

Any words of wisdom (or encouragement) are welcome!

Thanks!

deb


----------



## 3bees~1flower (Feb 24, 2003)

UD_CHICK -- i would have to say that the scar tissue is the culprit of your continued discomfort. if she had to work a bit to get through that then that would lead to quite a bit of discomfort simply from the pulling and what not. you also could have formed new adhesions (scar tissure) that may be contributing to the pain as well.

my third section, he had to really work to get through the scar tissue, so i'm wondering how my 4th will be this Oct.

hope you start to feel better soon!


----------



## quiltinglance (Dec 5, 2003)

UD Chick,

Could you be anemic? Is it fatigue AND the pulling in your tummy? I just remember feeling so bad after my c/b....the pulling seemed to be the worst but my blood count was a bit low and my whole recovery seemed long. In your case you MUST give yourself more time. You've been assaulted on many physical levels, not to mention the long trial of antibiotics....can you get to a good health food store and talk to them about what you've gone through?

Hang in there. Sleep when you can and like you said, you know you are doing too much......

Congratulations on having such a great attitude after all you've gone through.

Kim
Mom to Lance, Wife to Michal, edd 3/25:LOL


----------



## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:

_Originally posted by UD_CHICK_
*I'm wondering if any of you remember how long you went before you stopped feeling really painful pulling in your abdomen.

The doctor who did the section also told me that I had severe scarring and adhesions from my last cbirth, and that she tried to repair them - so I'm wondering if that's why I still feel so poorly.

Any words of wisdom (or encouragement) are welcome!

Thanks!

deb*
Deb,

sorry you are feeling so bad honey!
My first csection took me a good year to heal. I still had pretty severe pain at times for months afterwards.

My last birth, well I was in full swing at a week. I was lucky that my dad as a baby gift gave me a maid and I did a lot of crock pot cooking. I had my daughter in preschool and I just reigned in the 17 month old. I also had repairs done.

Now, get this. In the last week I have started having pain in the right side of incision. It also itches. It has been two years.

I wish I could be there to help you!


----------



## Henry's_Mamma (Jan 23, 2004)

Deb ... I'm about 4.5 mons. post 1st c/b and it took me a good month to not feel the stretching/pulling sensations almost constantly. I still get them on occasion, and it hurts when I get kicked or bump the laundry basket there, but the pulling has stopped. I hope that's a good sign. I just wish it would stop itching!

BTW ... and sorry if TMI ... when does the hair grow back and will it ever be as thick (not that I want it to be .. just wondering)?


----------



## UD_CHICK (Sep 17, 2003)

Thanks for your support ladies. It's nice to know I'm not alone. Today we're doing better.

I've realized I've had a lot of junk in my diet of late, so that's probably contributing to my fatigue. I went to the natural food store today and got a bunch of good stuff - and good munchies - so that if I"m tempted, I'll at least not have too much sugar or preservatives in my system. I also have to be good about taking my vitamins.

The doctor said that I'm healing well. I asked if there is any way to look at my insides to see if everything is healing well (and to see if we're ok for another pregnancy) and she said nope - she said it's up to our generation - or our kids' to come up with that technology.

I think another key is to get that nap in each day when dd naps. I took one today and felt like a new woman (almost) when I woke up. Sleep depravation really affects me.

Thanks for your words of support - I'll keep plugging along!

Henry's_Mamma - when my hair grew back after CB#1 - it was exactly the same as pre-CB.


----------



## Henry's_Mamma (Jan 23, 2004)

Random thoughts as I sort through some feelings I've been having ...

I was doing so well with how I felt about my c/b. And now all of a sudden, I'm angry and hurt and sad again. I don't know why. Although now that I think of it, maybe it has something to do with hearing other women's wonderful v/b stories recently and my being jealous.

I guess I've been thinking a lot about the conflicting attitudes I get about birth, especially c/b. On MDC and via other likeminded people/places, I feel like a total failure, that my birth was some how less of a birth, that I am somehow not a complete woman. What makes me feel worse is that, somewhere deep down inside, I really do feel that my c/b could've been avoided if x, y or z happened or didn't happen, etc. (e.g., if I had a doula, or if dh remembered anything that he read The Thinking Woman's Guide, etc.). Then I just get mad at the world. I've even had fleeting angry at dh, though he is in no way to blame for any of this.

On the other hand, since I live in a place where AP and natural living are in the minority (and I know exactly 3 people IRL who are even moderately AP), most of my friends, etc. seem to think a c/s is perfectly normal and epidurals are the way to go, etc. I've been beating myself up of late over my epidural as I think that was the beginning of the end for me -- the first turn on the road to my c/b. None of these friends (or my dh, for that matter) understand this. My dh (practical, rational guy that he is) keeps saying that, under the circumstances, what was I to do. -- i.e., I made the best decision I could make at the time.

I know all of these feelings are somewhat irrational. I guess what I don't understand is why we as a society have to make such a big deal over the method of birth. Why does it matter so bloody much about the way in which a woman births her babes? I know there are a lot of very unncecessary c/b (and I'm really beginning to feel that I was one of them which is probably why this is irking me so much), but in all honesty, in this day and age, does it really, really matter and is it really necesarry to put so much value on the experience? For those of us that had c/b's (especially those of us for whom a c/b was unplanned), I think it just prolongs the healing process by causing us a lot of unncessary guilt and pain. Isn't the whole point of birth to ensure that baby arrives healthy and strong, and if the best way for that based on reasonable intuition and medical evidence is via c/b, then who cares?

Maybe I'm just missing the point or something but this has really been driving me nuts these last couple of days. I guess I'm just really mad that I didn't get the birth experience I wanted, but I'm also mad that I place (and feel like the world places) so much weight on the birth experience. Didn't my birth lead to a beautiful, healthy, baby boy? Who cares how he got here? Why can't I accept that?

Forgive my ramblings ... I'm still working through this and I'm not even sure I know what I mean.







:


----------



## ladylee (Nov 20, 2001)

UDC and HM-


----------



## rainbowmoon (Oct 17, 2003)

is there any way to prevent scar tissure from forming?

Henry's_mamma- wow, what you wrote is exactly how I've been feeling today! my c/b was actually a really positive experience, I made my decision for my surgery (and interventions) based on how I felt at the time, not what I planned for my birth at all. it's so easy to say you could have done something different but we all do what we can with the knowledge we have at that moment. I did all I could do to have a natural birth but it just wasn't going to happen. I am starting to really process it and question it all though, as well as grieve for my lost (ideal) birth experience. I think it's really important to feel the wide range of emotions over it all and know it's really ok to feel the way you're feeling. you are not a failure at all mama.


----------



## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

UD_Chick- I am sorry your recovery is so very hard, I am sure it is due to all the illness that led to your C-birth, give yourself some time to recover and keep taking those naps.









HM-







- I found that reading this forum a lot, or even anything from the Natural Birth Activists really got me down and did absolutely no good, just when I was feeling ok with it all, I would read something and get to feeling depressed about my births. I think there is a time and place to get back into the Natural birth reading, like during your next pregnancy, when it might actually help you, instead of now, when all it is doing is making you feel badly.


----------



## KKmama (Dec 6, 2001)

I just want to send hugs to y'all...







I'm not trying to downplay what you're going through, because I think the emotions one goes through after an unexpected surgical birth are unique (in part because you *do* feel "different")... but one thing I found after ds was born is that lots and lots and lots of women unfortunately have disappointing birth experiences--including women who *did* have unmedicated v births. It takes some time to square away reality with what really happened, and c birth mamas aren't the only ones dealing with it.


----------



## ladylee (Nov 20, 2001)

Has anyone ever used a scar removal/improvement product on their incision?


----------



## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

To be honest ladylee, my belly looks so laughable from stretch marks, I can hardly notice the scar







:LOL


----------



## KKmama (Dec 6, 2001)

Quote:

Has anyone ever used a scar removal/improvement product on their incision?
Can I use it on my actual uterus so I don't get so much crap about doing a VBAC?


----------



## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

I have to agree wtih Patty on this one









With Tracy i started out with a 35 inch waist (not all that small but anyway) I ended my pg with him with a 58 inch waist! I'm only 60 inches tall!!

I'm losing weight and the top of my belly button is covered by loose way too stretched out skin.

I intend on having a tummy tuck after I've lost weight. Then they can smooth out my scar.

Oh, and after the surgery I plan on getting a tattoo across my scar line. I think a row of sweetpea blossoms...


----------



## Dawnalex (Jan 21, 2004)

I havent used anything on my scar BUT...
My first c-sec scar was horrid...it was soo gross
then i had to have it re-opened when Luke was 3 months and that made it waaay worse.
But with Irelends c-sec it was great!! My scar looks awesome!!
I think the difference is that they used dissolving stitches and no staples. With this c-sec i am requesting that i get the stitches again because it makes such a big diff with the way your scar looks.


----------



## KKmama (Dec 6, 2001)

I dunno... I had staples, and my scar looks really really good.


----------



## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

I had staples boht times...no complaints....


----------



## rebasea (Jul 13, 2003)

Taken me a long time to join here. I there, I'm 9 weeks out and getting back on my feet, not easy with a baby in the 90% for weight. Recovering from a long active labor and a emergency c-sec/baby on the nicu ( turns out he was healthy all along - it's a long story). We've been home for 7 weeks and still reflecting. How did I live through all that? Memories are in this Oxicontic fog. It was the first time in my life I needed nursing care - so thankful to the women that litterly babied me.
Got a message this week and relized how messed up my body still is. My lower back is so sore and my pelvic still feels like it's made out of glass - ugggg. No yoga for me. My strength did come back and I finally able to put him in a sling and walk around.
Looking forward to getting to know all of you.


----------



## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

IOF-

I have an umbilical hernia and when I saw the surgeon about it (prior to this last pregnancy) he said we'd leave it alone until I was "done" having kids, at which point- he'd fix the hernia and (as he grabbed all my extra belly skin) "fix all of this"







meaning give me a tummy tuck and pointed out that it would all be covered by insurance







:

Now, I'm thinking maybe I'll go for that- there has to be some big plus to balance out no more babies.


----------



## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

Patty---







You had BETTER do it! I'm hoping to have insuracne by the time I have mine done and least get my boobs covered by ins. I'm not sure they could come up with a medical reason to remove all the loose skin but maybe they can


----------



## rainbowmoon (Oct 17, 2003)

welcome Reba!









about scars...i had staples, and yesterday was really the first day I could bring myself to look at mine, (my belly's shrunk so much I couldn't realy see it before now anyway not to mention I'm squeamish to see my body *sewn* up . I must say it's healed up pretty nicely.btw I think that is a lovely idea about the tattoo whoever wrote about that!

so i have a question to you all? when can I start exercising again? I've been feeling pretty great this week but maybe it's still too soon? (it's been 3 weeks and 3 days since my c/s) oh and btw I'm talking about maybe walking on the treadmill a little and some light yoga, nothing too strenuous.


----------



## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

You should be able to do moderate exercise at this point, I think it is mainly just doing what you feel up to, and stopping if you feel any incisional pain. I am just now ready to start really working on my abs, my belly looks so bad right now, and I am in a hurry to get the belly at least flat, though I don't plan on bikinis, I'd loike to look good in a one-piece







. I have also been power walking since about 4 weeks post c-birth, and that feels sooooo good, fresh air and all


----------



## sparklemum (Jan 19, 2004)

my doc was much more conservative - i couldn't exercise until 8 weeks post partum - other than walking - at 8 weeks, she said that i could do ab work, but still no step or the aerobic stuff i was used to...
ugh!

i am now four months and finally getting into a workout routine...

she actually was VERY adamant about the whole twisting/vaccuum thing as well - i didn't do laundry for nearly six weeks - of course, i was *really* paranoid about splitting open my incision and her conservative nature didn't help...

i would have felt better if i was less scared and able to move sooner...


----------



## rainbowmoon (Oct 17, 2003)

well I've been doing laundry all week, and I also finally got to do some cleaning as well







i do have to be careful how much I do though. i babysat my 9 month old nephew the other night and payed the price with a sore belly the next day from picking him up too much. oops!







:

i will probably wait until next week to start the yoga as I'm signing up for a new class, but I would like to start walking on the treadmill at least this coming week, especially as I have been out and about this weekend and did quite a bit of walking yesterday. I am seeing my DR. tomorrow though so I'll see what she has to say about it.

my incision looks healed for the most part but I'm sure the muscles are still healing so I will be extra careful, I just feel like I have so much extra energy these days!


----------



## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

i started taebo about 5 weeks pp. before that I was riding a stationary bike. They told me no lifting and such. I did ok not lifting Tracy but I carried bryce in his carseat about 4 days post c/b going to the ped and stuff (Coombs + and heavy jaundice)

I'm 8.5 weeks pp and I feel great! I still have some minor soreness but I only notice it when I go to the bathroom. I'm assuming it is because my muscles relax.

Oh, and I'm getting the tattoo







I'm getting flowers for my living chldren and buds for my m/cs.


----------



## NoHiddenFees (Mar 15, 2002)

I noticed some new boards. Does the lack (at least as far as I could see) of a new c/b indicate that a final decision has been made, or is it still pending?


----------



## sparklemum (Jan 19, 2004)

the carseat! OMG! i didn't lift it for awhile...you ladies are making me feel like quite the wuss...

honestly, my doctor put such a fear of ripping my incision (internally, not the actual incision) that i avoided anything questionable...i remember she said "you are a real go-getter, and that is great - BUT!!!" and proceeded to detail all sorts of dire possibilities...

i was sick about 6 weeks pp with a horrible cough - they gave me codeine cough syrup (that I skipped, thank you very much) absolutely ADAMENT that I not cough...

seems that docs vary significantly


----------



## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

Quote:

_Originally posted by NoHiddenFees_
*I noticed some new boards. Does the lack (at least as far as I could see) of a new c/b indicate that a final decision has been made, or is it still pending?*
From what Cynthia said at the end of one thread she closed, she was going to tell Peggy that she didn't think it would be a good idea to have a c-birth forum.

IMO- that just gives us all (posting here) added responsibility to remain active here and answer c-birth questions as they come up, even if we have already been over a particular subject many times. I am thinking that when I get some free time, I am going to start maintaining a word document with info from our support threads, for example when we talk about spinal vs. epidural, that would all get copied into one document, and then when someone asks, I could forward them the doc. or re-post it all here. I want women who find themselves having a c-birth for whatever reason, to have support that they cannot get from mainstream type sources, I want them to have great thing like Kim's (OTF) birth plan.

So- I guess it's up to us, and we can do it









Oh and sparklemum- I think it's good that you didn't rush into doing lots of lifting esp., I think walking early is great







, but lifting can certainly be overdone- I was always told "don't lift anything heavier than the baby for at least 2 weeks".


----------



## rainbowmoon (Oct 17, 2003)

nohiddenfears- I posted last week asking about the c/b board under questions & suggestions. supposedlt it's being discussed? personally I find the lack of c/s support here very disheartning. (I mean we're still mom's, right!?!) i wonder if we can at least get a sticky for this thread?


----------



## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

I agree with Patty. It is our "job" to keep the threads that are started with c/b questions answered. Since "we" are the ones with expereince we should be able to offer insight that "others" cannot. You would thin it would give us more creditability and for those facing a c/b I believe we do.

I'm not sure this is "within the user agreement" but I think the concern with the subforum is whether or not it would be more productive than harmful.

Not everyone looks at it like "we are all mothers" and I think that a non-mainstream look at c/b is a very important aspect. Because the rate of c/b is increasing everyone (IMO whether or not you birth in a hospital) is at risk for a c/b. So, why not be prepared?? We all, or most, know what it is like to have that "it'll never happen to me" attitude.


----------



## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

It seriously never dawned on me that I might have a c-birth until I scheduled my first one (even though many Dr.s midwives had said I wouldn't likely birth vaginally- I just didn't believe them for a minute), I was planning a natural hospital birth, I planned to avoid all interventions- wait until my water broke to even go to the hospital, etc. I was not at all prepared for my first c-birth, had never read a thing about them, except for how to avoid them. I think most of us here were caught completely off-guard by our first c-births and I hope that we can make others more informed







.


----------



## rainbowmoon (Oct 17, 2003)

i personally see it as a lack of *support*, regardless if Mothering (or the majority of mom's here) have a non mainstream oinion of c/b or not. I don't have a mainstream view at all on hospital interventions or c/s but I still would like to be supported in my choices regardless of it.


----------



## NoHiddenFees (Mar 15, 2002)

I find it disheartening because even in an "ideal" world, 3-5% of women would end up with a c/b. When you look at the thousands of mothering.com members, that's quite a few women. Given the pervading philosophy here, it's natural that even solely among those who've had c/b's there would be a lot of very strong negative emotions to deal with. I don't think it's fair to penalize us for expressing them while we're trying to work through them. Isn't working through strong emotions the whole point of a support board/forum/thread?

In my case, I wasn't a victim of my own unrealistic expectations, or of the medical establishment and I resent the notion that I should somehow necessarily be pitied or "educated" and that I feel I have to justify the circumstances of my daughter's birth to others to head (some) others off at the pass so to speak.


----------



## greymama (May 30, 2003)

I am so glad to have found this. I decided to look in a form I usually don't and came accross something I would never have expected on this board.

My son was born by an unexpected c/s on March 10, 2003. I went to a routine OB appt in early labor and expected to have my doc send my home with a "see you tomorrow" goodbye. DH was going to bring my hospital bags, but I said we'll be coming home. Surprise, surprise, my son was breech and since I was in already in labor I was sent to the Hospital. I decided to try a version before agreeing to the C/S. The version failed and DS was born via C/S that evening. I was in complete shock how quickly everything happened when I expected to be at home laboring with about 10 of my family members there.

My problem started 2 days later. The year before I gave birth I had my gall bladder removed, complications ensued and I had to have a second surgery a few days later to correct a bowel obstruction, I had a NG tube was hospitalized for 2 LONG weeks. We learned that my GI tract does not recover well from surgery and/or anesthesia. Well, after DS was born the same thing pretty much happened and I developed a bowel ilias (my bowels collapse). I started vomiting bile my second night and the next day got another NG tube. I was so sick I couldn't even hold DS. I even let him have a bottle in the nursery the one night, which upset me to think I was ruining my chances of nursing (it didn't). Luckily, I have a wonderful gastroenterologist who was finally consulted after one great nurse realized I KNEW who I needed to see and listened to me. Within 2 days my GI had me working again and I felt great.

I'm 11 weeks pregnant with #2 and am seriously considering having a planned c-section. I know I need to have my GI consulted, which is really my only hesitation.


----------



## sparklemum (Jan 19, 2004)

i have had to bite my tongue several times this morning...

not having a c/b forum doesn't make a political statement - and certainly not a broad one...but rather, it makes a very personal statement...and it is directed squarely at ME (and you and you and you)

it says that i, as a mothering reader for nearly 15 years, is now of little value to the community...it says that those who have had c/bs are summarily dismissed...that our voices are worthless...or rather, not worthy

the argument that there are c/b boards elsewhere doesn't fly - there are NOT c/b boards elsewhere that are filled with homebirth transfers, with breastfeeding c/b moms, with babywearing c/b moms, with cloth diapering c/b moms, VBAC moms...moms that think for themselves...

moms like myself - ones that take serious offense when those who haven't experienced the pain, heartache, and other such stuff that is a c/b - have the audacity to try and shut us up or tuck us away...aware moms that feel all of this perhaps a bit more than a mainstream c/b mom...

pointing fingers at women will NOT change the way babies are birthed in this country...it will only stratify...


----------



## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

I agree with you all. I'm not saying it will be a harmful thing to have here. I think it would a wonderful thing to have here. We have every right to be heard and I have no problem posting my questions about c/b all over the place. Which helps ppl see we are out ehre and we will be heard.

We don't have to "hide" behind our c/bs. There are women out there that are ashamed that they "failed" and had a c/b when it isn't about failure it is about giving birth and who gives a rats how it happens. Spme ppl just have to have time to deal with it and some never will be abe to accept the fact that _they_ had a c/b.

I was a victim to my own bad decisions. I think it was partly *my* fault but I've dealt with it. i can't change the past. I have to live for the future. I feel that I'm a better person for having gone through what I've gone through. It made me realize that nopt everything is perfect and yes *It can happen to you!*


----------



## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

sparklemum









I am sorry you are feeling so hurt, I did at first too, then I realized that feeling hurt was a waste of my time on this, the people who are deciding this do not *know* me personally and may have their own prejudices about c-birth, and I am sorry for that.







Still, I am going to do what I can (as you and all others posting here will) to reach out to other mamas going through this and help them along their path.

I'm just get sick of feeling angry/hurt, I've been there long enough.


----------



## sparklemum (Jan 19, 2004)

jess - thanks for your kind words...but i'm not hurt, so much as peeved...i have no use for prejudice, for judgment, for self-righteousness (i used to be *just like that* prior to my c/b about c/b moms - i thought - sheesh! no one should have to have a c-section - now, i am so blessed to have empathy for those that have had a c/b)

and yes, you are right - keep posting, keep sharing...keep answering those questions...

like this one (that has nagged me for awhile!)

did any of my fellow c/b mamas find a sling that worked for you - early on? i struggled to find one that would work - but they were so uncomfortable...

curious curious


----------



## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

I understand being peeved too









I love my Kangaroo Korner Adjustable Fleece Pouch, I used it that first week while I sat on the toilet for an hour or so at a time (constipated- sorry for TMI- but I think most of us remember that part as fondly as I do







: ), and he's now 9 weeks and 16 pounds and I am still loving it


----------



## greymama (May 30, 2003)

I agree. There is no reason C/B mom's have to hide away and can only come out of the closet when we talk about how we so desperately want to have a VBAC.

After my son was born one "friend" called and the only thing I remember her asking me was if I was upset that I had a c-section and that I could have a VBAC the next time. I had a beautiful, healthy son and she could only focus on the birth, like I should have been ashamed or disappointed. I was neither, and would never let myself be.


----------



## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

I share similar feelings with sparklemom about the lack of support here. I just read on a thread where mothers who consider inductions, interventions, planned csections, etc are referred to as morons.

It frightens me that there are women, supposed advocates, see no place for medicine or medical intervention during birth -- yet there are times it is needed, whether that be for physical or emotional reasons.

There is no place for the natural/attachment parenting momma to discuss c/b like we do on this thread. I wish I had the time and resources right now to dedicated time to creating that.

I definitely have never read a mainstream thread that addressed laundry after a csection. If you were cloth diapering, those little diapers can get weighty with pee and you have to dunk you have to bend over or squat with an incision.

I've never been on a thread where there was a discussion about doing yoga after a csection either. Or baby wearing.

I could on.

Well I just stopped in to say "Hi". I am very busy with work right now and my three kids. Fighting a cold as well.

Know that I am thinking of all of you and I read the thread often.

Kim


----------



## sparklemum (Jan 19, 2004)

kim...thanks for posting - i *love* this thread - it has so much to offer cause us ap mommas with c/bs are so easily isolated...and it just doesn't have to be that way...

i'll continue to read and post and maybe we can keep it on the front page for those new mommas


----------



## Henry's_Mamma (Jan 23, 2004)

The holier than thou attitude w/in much of the "natural" community drives me crazy. I was educated about avoiding a c/b, but due to a lot of circumstances outside of my control (and some w/in my control, admittedly), it happened. What I don't need is people pointing fingers at me and saying how awful I am for "letting" it happen. And that's what happens in many places other than this "safe" thread. I hate how people feel they have a right to tell me what I should've done when they haven't walked in my shoes. I have the same attitude towards childless people who think they have the right to tell me how to parent.

What really gets me, though, is that, for the most part, AP parents respect their children and their children's feelings -- isn't that respect at the heart of being AP? So why can't those same parents show the same respect for other parents whose birth experiences might be different? Why is it different mama to mama? I just don't get it.

Ok ... stepping off of my soap box ...

BTW -- thanks for all of your kind words of support. DS is teething (I think) so I haven't had a lot of time online of late ...


----------



## Susu (May 31, 2002)

Quote:

_Originally posted by Henry's_Mamma_
*The holier than thou attitude w/in much of the "natural" community drives me crazy. I was educated about avoiding a c/b, but due to a lot of circumstances outside of my control (and some w/in my control, admittedly), it happened. What I don't need is people pointing fingers at me and saying how awful I am for "letting" it happen.*
i've read these threads--and now avoid them for these reasons. the thing is, the same people get frustrated with us too.

anti c/b posts generally start off with a strong "some c/b's are medically necessary and we aren't attacking any moms for those." however they then claim that such and such can be done to avoid a c/b for eclampsia, previa, abruption, etc. i don't think they perceive this as accusatory. those of us with "medically necessary" c/b's do. they want to educate us. we want to educate them. we are a very educated group us mothering.com posters 

but, you know, i don't give out the reason for my c/b because i KNOW that there is some woman somewhere at some time who gave birth to a healthy baby under similar circumstances and i will surely hear about it.

i prefer to share my story in another forum. that forum is incredibly supportive. why? because we understand the ultra sensitivity of women whose babies didn't make it. (and trust me the 2nd and 3rd time around these women were educated) And of women whose babies suffered, some very seriously, because of the trauma. many of the them are suing their doctor/health care providers, because a c/b wasn't done soon enough. many because a c/b wasn't done at all.

i don't feel apologetic about my c/b. never have. hell, if i had know the seriousness of what was going on, i would have cut my own self open.

my daughter survived and there is not a second i am not grateful to have her in my life. i even cry now when i think of how close i was to losing her. sometimes when i hear diatribes for "natural" birth i think that maybe these people really dont "get it". (it is very natural for babes and mums to die during birth) and the fact that that is probably what they think of me doesn't really bother me. i'm just happy to have my daughter in my life.

su


----------



## rebasea (Jul 13, 2003)

It's hard to represent peoples fears. Women have had to fight to so hard to have a natural childbirth that anything feels like something is being taken from them. 10 weeks ago, I was one of those women. But fate hands down some pretty cruel jokes...I thought I was ready to breath through any thing. And now I'm on the other side having had a totally medical experience.. The problem it's an emotional issue that every thinks they have a rational aswear to. If only we could all walk a mile in eachothers contrations








I live in Seattle and the cover story this week of our local indie paper is about a home birth that went wrong. I read it hoping it wouldn't be centsationalized, but it was (http://www.seattleweekly.com/feature..._midwifery.php)


----------



## UD_CHICK (Sep 17, 2003)

The thing I don't understand is how the concept of a 'natural birth' is seems, by critics, to be limited to the purely physical component of the experience.

I've now had 2 c-sections. Both experences had an emotional component in addition to the physical component. There was a community of people - some who I knew well, some who I had just met - but all of whom were focused on delivering healthy babies and keepig me healthy. I felt like I was a participant in the most important aspects of my daughter's and my son's birth. I felt taxed, frightened, comforted, empowered... all the emotions I imagine a woman who has a vaginal delivery experiences.

So they came through my belly instead of my vagina, so what? They and I are alive to get to know one another.


----------



## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:

_Originally posted by rebasea_
*It's hard to represent peoples fears. Women have had to fight to so hard to have a natural childbirth that anything feels like something is being taken from them. 10 weeks ago, I was one of those women. But fate hands down some pretty cruel jokes...I thought I was ready to breath through any thing. And now I'm on the other side having had a totally medical experience.. The problem it's an emotional issue that every thinks they have a rational aswear to. If only we could all walk a mile in eachothers contrations








I live in Seattle and the cover story this week of our local indie paper is about a home birth that went wrong. I read it hoping it wouldn't be centsationalized, but it was (http://www.seattleweekly.com/feature..._midwifery.php)*
I read the article. Too much to comment on, but I will say that I think the midwife was wrong in the instance of the first woman mentioned in the article.
It is hard to be that woman who wanted to have that specific type of birth, to be forced into a reality of intervention and then a csection. As you said about, fate hands down some cruel jokes -- but how about lessons? I was given a lesson -- a lesson on judgement. I would never think a woman who chose to have an epidural or an induction at 42 weeks a moron or fool. I also had my ego brought down a few notches with my CB. And it needed to be.

Kim


----------



## Megs Mom (Mar 19, 2002)

Quote:

_Originally posted by jess7396_
*I was always told "don't lift anything heavier than the baby for at least 2 weeks".*
I was told not to lift anything heavier than Meg







(25 pounds)! I did lift Meg like four days after the surgery!!!


----------



## greymama (May 30, 2003)

I just started visiting this forum yesterday and now that I've been skimming some of the posts, I must admit I've become very disheartened but what I'm reading. My beautiful son was delivered c-section because of a breech presentaion. Reading posts about "good outcomes... ie, not c/s" and posts about when c/s is acceptable really have left me a little angry. I have no regrets about my c/s and hate being made to feel like I was uneducated about my choices or should be ashamed because I had a c/s when other moms didn't.

I really hope we can keep this thread alive so other mom's don't visit here and get discouraged that they might not "fit in."


----------



## UD_CHICK (Sep 17, 2003)

Quote:

_Originally posted by Megs Mom_
*I was told not to lift anything heavier than Meg







(25 pounds)! I did lift Meg like four days after the surgery!!!*

My doctor told me to try and not lift Isobel for 8 wks (he then amended this and said it's difficult/impossible to deny a toddler, so to use my judgement).


----------



## rebasea (Jul 13, 2003)

I'm just impressed that any one is excersicing. My patner has started calling me Santa







. I'm eatting cheese cakes and just doing light exercise. At 10 weeks out, I still don't feel like I have abdominal mussles. I can't sit up, I have to do that role to the side move...so savy.


----------



## AnaNicole (Jan 30, 2004)

Wow, long thread. I can't read through all of these posts, at least, not now, but I wanted to join the circle, so to speak, as I just found out I will need a c-section soon.

I posted about this in the pregnancy forum but basically, I am expecting my 4th baby and was planning another homebirth (all my other three were born at home) but I had placenta previa at 20 weeks, and a follow-up u/s on Monday (at 28 weeks) confirmed something I wasn't expecting--the previa is now compounded by a vasa previa, and the only option is a scheduled c-section before I begin to dilate. At this point, the surgery could be scheduled in mid-May or as late as early June (depending on which due date makes the most "sense"--I have two now--June 29th and June 17th).

It's completely scary to think about all of this. I can handle the c-section idea for myself, it's my baby I am worried about. I worry he'll be a preemie, that I'll start bleeding before the section and his life wil be in jeopardy, that our bonding will be hampered, that he'll need lots of high level care, and on and on. Of course, recovery for me is also an unknown! So, I have a lot to learn here. I'd love to get to know some of you and hear what worked/didn't work for you.

Thanks so much!


----------



## KKmama (Dec 6, 2001)

Hi AnaNicole--

I read your VP thread on I'm Pregnant, and I'm so sorry that you're facing this! But I think it's so great that it has been diagnosed ahead of time.

Having a cesarean is no fun, but I think it's also a good thing that you have so much time to try to plan it out and try to get your dr. and support people to help you have the birth you want to have.

I'm sure your baby will be okay. You seem to be very in touch with what is going on inside your body--that is such a tremendous help.


----------



## sparklemum (Jan 19, 2004)

hi ananicole...here are my off the cuff recommendations...

my c/b was emergency and i was all set for a homebirth - so having time to plan will be nice (as nice as planning a c/b can be









you will want to be sure to have some way to move baby around and keep baby close and at waist level - if that makes sense - something that will keep you from lifting a bunch...we have a bassinet/stroller that my husband set up and i was able to wheel ruby around - this made a huge difference because i wasn't able to carry her everywhere or use a sling the first few weeks...but i could put the bassinet/stroller thingy right next to me on the couch and get very close - we also spent a lot of time in bed, but it was awkward enough getting myself out of bed with the little rolly action - getting ruby was a challenge as well...

all births mean less time in the kitchen, but a c/b even more so - really stock up and arrange as much household help as you possibly can...i deeply regret not planning for a postpartum doula...

my boppy was fabulous for breastfeeding - really alleviated the tug on my incision...

i wasn't able to do laundry for several weeks - if you are using cloth you might try a service the first few weeks, or again, plan for household help...

most of all, rest, rest, rest...walk, walk, walk...

you might also check out the hospital and let them know how you feel about breastfeeding and pain management...i had great midwives with me at the transfer and they really ran interferance and took heat for me - they knew i didn't want the morphine drip and insisted that be the case...they knew i was adament about breastfeeding and let the nurses know - so we had a good experience, even with the emergency...you might try to find a good doula or even midwife to be with you at the hospital to keep staff in line, if needed...

good luck - it isn't the worse thing ever, but at times it can surely feel like it - particularly, i think, for those that have had such successful previous un-medicated births...take good care of yourself and i wish you the very best


----------



## sparklemum (Jan 19, 2004)

greymama - this is lovely and so well put...i will do my best to keep an eye on this thread and keep it going...with the others out there i think we can keep it lively









Quote:

_Originally posted by greymama_
*I just started visiting this forum yesterday and now that I've been skimming some of the posts, I must admit I've become very disheartened but what I'm reading. My beautiful son was delivered c-section because of a breech presentaion. Reading posts about "good outcomes... ie, not c/s" and posts about when c/s is acceptable really have left me a little angry. I have no regrets about my c/s and hate being made to feel like I was uneducated about my choices or should be ashamed because I had a c/s when other moms didn't.

I really hope we can keep this thread alive so other mom's don't visit here and get discouraged that they might not "fit in."*


----------



## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Ana,

Welcome to our group. I am sorry you are facing this but glad you will get some support here.
I have a csection birth plan that you may want to utilize, especially since I had many of the concerns that you did about bonding and the baby.
I have high risk pregnancies so I know how that can be rough in and of itself.
I sense your csection will be scheduled. If so, I think that is great -- because that gives you time to prepare, make decisions about pain control, your baby's care, and to make this the best experience it can be.
Please ask any and all questions! One of us is sure to help or help you find an answer.

Kim


----------



## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

Yup, OTF has a great birth plan. I have on too if you'd be interested.

Planning a c/b is totally different than an unplanned one. I've had both and it is so much easier planned. Recovery is faster and easier. I had no problems getting around after my planned c/b. With my unplanned one I couldn't move at all hardly for weeks. This time around I was up and about in the first 15 hours! ( as soon as the epidural wore off and I had to have it for 10 hours minimum...which was fine by me







)

Lots of great info around here!!


----------



## Susu (May 31, 2002)

ananicole,

already at 28 weeks your little one has a lot going for him/her. i echo others with saying that a planned c/b is the way to go. one of the things they can do is give the baby a shot of surfectant (sp?) a day before the section to help in lung development if you end up with an early due date. it may not be needed but it's definately not somehting that can be done in an emergency.

to be prepared for the event that baby needs to be in the NICU, either have a breast pump ready (you'll need a good one if you plan to pump 24/7) or make sure that the hospital provides one. you might want to make a visit to the NICU and become familiar with their feeding and visiting rules. some are more regimented than others.

and remember, just because your baby is born early--even at 30 weeks--doesn't necessary mean problems and the NICU. many "late" preemies are perfectly healthy and just need a couple days of observation if anything.


----------



## AnaNicole (Jan 30, 2004)

Thanks for all the support and ideas! Yes, I would love to read any and all birth plans. I need to start drafting mine soon!

I am becoming more at ease with the facts of this situation. I am still worried that I might suddenly start bleeing though.


----------



## azyre (Oct 10, 2003)

I dont think Ive posted on one of these threads before. But I need some extra support today so am coming looking for it









Tomorrow is my DD 1st birthday and so today is the anniversary day the whole natural birth train derailed. I was sad yesterday when it was the anniversary of the day my waters broke (no labour, and I had gbs) and was ok today until I read an email from a friend who was basically patting me on the head, alls well that ends well. I hate it when people assume 2 things - 1) that you are unrealistic about birth and too stupid to realise you can't make it go to plan or 2) that you weren't educated enough to avoid it.

I have come to grips with lots of the circumstances of her birth. I see where the whole system is screwed, I see where I made decisions I could have made better, but I also think I made good decisions given circumstances and my understandings at the time. But I also remember ob's trying to scare me and being nasty, a nurse slamming a door on me, the pain of having an internal fetal monitor placed (what a horrible thing to do to an unborn baby) and the pain of having the epidural before the csection. Afterwards, I had BP issues and we both were treated for infection and I was ill. The post partum period was really tough, and I did a bloody fantastic job against a lot of odds. Can someone please share my outrage with me at a crappy old time without qualifying it in anyway? I bet you guys can








I don't want to write about how much I love my daughter or that it was worth it I just wanna acknowledge what happened. Because most of the time I am ok with it.

I really feel uncomfortable with dwelling, I guess partly because of people's reactions. It feels very self-indulgent. So along with feelings of sadness I feel very self conscious. This is my second vent online today.


----------



## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Leah,

Can I just say BTDT have the T-shirt.
After my first csection I felt like a train wreck for a good year.
Also on my daughters birthday, I remember, yes it was her birthday, but I also vivdly remember the trauma and crap I went through to bring her into the world.

Can I just say it takes time. Time is all we have. And no matter how you have your next baby, but if you have another baby, sometimes their coming into the world does a lot of healing for us.

I think its good it recognize what choices we made that put us in that position but at the same time also keep in mind that some things are just out of our control. Yes you choose to get on the train that day, but you had no idea it was going off the tracks.

Sometimes its just good to BITCH.








Sometimes you just need a {hug}

I think working it through, and enjoying your baby is the only way things will get better. Time will heal you in many ways.

Welcome to our little place on Mothering -- keep stopping by!

Kim


----------



## rebasea (Jul 13, 2003)

Dear Ana-
After my c-sec I spent 5 days with my baby on the NICU ( he was full term but they suspected, wrongly, spinal menigitas). Here are some of our survival stratigies:
Make friends with the social worker - I boarded for free in the hospital. Make friends with the lactation consultant - with all the stress I thought it would never work - but with their help I was pumping enough so he only needed forula for one meal, and when we got home it took about weeks to get my milk supply up so I do all the feedings. Go to rounds - it's your right and it's really informative. Get people to come visit you - it's really isolating and lonely on the NICU - but you get to have visitors and it made a huge differance, infact my favorite early photo of us as a family is 6 visitors in hospital gowns and us. People say we look like a chior. Because it was a short stay we choose to fight to have a family member with him 24/7 - long story.
Best of luck,
Rebecca


----------



## bwylde (Feb 19, 2004)

Wow, how could I have missed this before







. I haven't read everything, but maybe I'll catch up sometime!

I had a c-section for my son (an emergency, things were going really bad) and it looks like I'll have to have another one this time around. I don't mind, it went really well for me. I had an excellent recovery from the first. I had him at night and I was walking around the next morning, I didn't have much pain (unless I got up the wrong way, ouch!!), I was discharged after 2 days, I was back to most my activities in no time, ect...

I agree with Susu who said she doesn't give out the reasons. While I know for a fact he would of been born dead if I'd of pushed to go natural, I hate the condescending tone when I say I'm probalby having another section. There are legit reasons why. I would love a VBAC, but I'm not risking my life to have one. It's not like I'm ignorant about the issue. I've done my research and I'm comfortable with whatever result I end up with. I'm still a woman and a mother either way.

In a way, I hope it's all planned. I look forward to knowing what's going to happen, that way I can plan things for my family, my son, have things ready to go and ready when I come home. I know unexpected things can come up, but I can handle that too.


----------



## emmaline (Dec 16, 2001)

Quote:

_Originally posted by azyre_
*. Can someone please share my outrage with me at a crappy old time without qualifying it in anyway? .*
yep, can do, it was [email protected] - the system, the doorslamming nurse, the lying ob, the fetal monitor (oww







), the infections, the hard start at bfing, the minimising of your [email protected] experience

OTF said some good stuff









come back and say more whenever you need to leah, I keep integrating bits of my experiences all the time with various perspectives popping up at different times, it's not surprising that there should be a big stew of feelings around dd's birthday


----------



## ladylee (Nov 20, 2001)

Yes, we can and will validate all of those feelings.

Welcome to all the newcomers!

Hi emmaline!


----------



## emmaline (Dec 16, 2001)

lee how are you?


----------



## ladylee (Nov 20, 2001)

OT-I'm good overall, E-but lately I could use a break from the girls. DH has been pulling weekends and late nights, and soon will go away on business for three weeks. When I'm by myself the energy gets depleted faster-things like exercising fall to the side which I don't like. But again, overall I'm good! How about you??


----------



## ladylee (Nov 20, 2001)

Ooops-I see a new thread has been started-c'mon over emmaline!

New thread:

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...hreadid=130092


----------

