# Spanking in front of your children?



## goodheartedmama (Feb 1, 2007)

I had my sister slap my nephews hand in front of my son on vacation. We just left the situation. My sister knows how I feel about spanking, and I didn't want to get into it with her at the moment.

We were recently playing with my cousin's children at my grandparents. We're the oddballs in the family...everyone else besides one other cousin is very mainstream. Her kids (ages 5, 3, and 9 months) were there, and the older boys were being typical boys. I didn't see anything that was alarming to me, but of course, my grandparents are from the era of children not being active in the house. Instead of giving her boys a place to play appropriately, she kept threatening to spank them. In fact, her dad was there and was egging the boys on, so she had my grandpa pretend to spank HIM (weird, huh?)







:

Anyway...no actual spanking took place that day, but I have witnessed many spankings of family members, and it's only a matter of time before it happens in front of my kids.

I can't even begin to come up with a way to address this when it does happen. Do I say something? Do I wait until later and talk with my kids about what they saw? I'm very uneasy about letting my children witness this kind of abuse...at the same time, I don't want to never see my family again.


----------



## ThreeBeans (Dec 2, 2006)

"SURELY, you aren't threatening to hit my nephews? SURELY?!







: "


----------



## mackysmama (Jan 11, 2005)

I've talked with my 5 yo about spanking. One trip to zoo usually results in us being witness to at least one spanking. I've told him that some parents think that is a good way to teach children to use appropriate behavior but that we OBVIOUSLY do not believe that and promise him and reassure him that it will never happen to him. And we talk about how the kid might feel and we talk about how we felt seeing it.


----------



## chicagomom (Dec 24, 2002)

In this case I've told my kids that some people think it's ok to hit their kids. We don't. That's it.

This summer we were at a carnival and saw a ~6 yo spank her 2 yo sister while they were waiting in line for a ride. I guess she felt obligated to tell me how her sister "needed" a spanking, because I was standing there with my mouth hanging open.


----------



## imahappymama (Feb 17, 2007)

When this happens, as it often does when we're out in public, my children often catch my eye and say something to the affect of "Wow, someone's really having a bad day...or "Somebody's really mad!" It's very prevalent and I have tried to find a way of helping them deal with it and at least making an effort to see what may be at the base of the spanking. It's sad and embarassing to witness someone so out of control that they would do that to anyone else.


----------



## Cutie Patootie (Feb 29, 2004)

We just got back from visiting my brother, his wife and their two kids...boys, ages 3 and 6. I can't even count the number of times they were "swatted" a day.







They know are beliefs on the subject, I guess they just don't give a rip. My brother actually said semi-jokingly, "Spank now, ask later". Not only do they spank their kids, but every time we sat down to a meal, morning, lunch and dinner there was a barrage of threats and spankings for the whole meal. "Sit down and eat!", "You need to take 5 more bites!", "That's not enough!", "I don't care if you don't like!", "You aren't going to get any dessert!", "Fine, then it's time for bed!", "Do you want a spanking?!" on and on and on. How in the heck can anyone eat with that crap going on. Then my sil actually commented on how well my 4 yo eats.







At one point, I was so raw from all of it, that when my 2 yo dd kicked our dog at their house, I very upsettingly yelled at her, "WE DO NOT HIT ANIMALS, AND WE DO NOT HIT PEOPLE!". I felt badly.
The very sad thing is that they genuinely love their kids. I know they do. They just don't have any respect for them.







I never said anything to them. It's not my right to tell them what they can do in there own house. I dread if they actually come to our house.







I know I will have to address it before they come. I did tell my _other_ brother when they were visiting a couple of years ago, that I knew they spanked their son and that they were not to do it in front of my children in my home. They are respectful of the way we live, but my other brother and our family are like oil and water.







:


----------

