# 2 1/2 year old refuses to feed self using spoon



## Aiti (Dec 24, 2003)

I'm very embarrassed to admit this, but I am STILL feeding my 2 1/2 year old DS his oatmeal with a spoon every morning and his yogurt at dinnertime.
He does not lack any fine-motor coordination; in fact he "plays" with dishes and utensils and can hold and manage them fine. But when it's mealtime, he will not eat anything "liquidy" unless someone is spooning it into his mouth. It is almost as though he is afraid he'll make a mess if he does it himself. He's a very neat and tidy kid.
He finger-feeds himself solid foods, crackers, etc. just fine.
I know maybe I should just refuse to feed him and require him to do it himself or go without, but that's just not my style. If I refuse to feed him, he cries as though his heart is breaking and I just can't do it. I end up feeding him.
I could just substitute finger foods, but he's picky and the oatmeal and the yogurt are two of the healthiest things he eats all day... I especially want him to get the probiotics from the yogurt as he has exczema and it seems to help.
Anyone been there? Is this something he will grow out of? Baby #3 is on the way and I can't see myself still feeding him at 2 meals a day. Thanks in advance for any responses.


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## Strong Mama (Feb 7, 2006)

No help here, but I cant wait for some. My 2 yo is the same. Can manage a fork great! Spoon, nope. Plus when I do give him the spoon, he takes like one year to feed himself/attempt to and he never eats then. I end up feeding him.


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## LDSmomma6 (Oct 31, 2003)

My (almost) 25 month old Lindsey still likes me to feed her cereal. I was just thinking about this this morning, how she is still eating Gerber Rice cereal with either applesauce or smashed naners in it, and loves it!! But I have to feed it to her. She'll uses a spoon pretty good for dinner time, and for lunch we usually have finger-type foods. I'm not worried. All my kids were like that, and eventually they get it.


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## ZeldasMom (Sep 25, 2004)

Argh. I just wrote out a long response and it disappeared on me. I have to go but I will try again later.


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Maybe try baby steps? Load a tiny bite and get him to transport it to his mouth himself first. Then a couple of tiny bites (like the tip of the spoon wet- no way to make a mess) then slightly bigger bites and more.

good luck!

-Angela


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## ZeldasMom (Sep 25, 2004)

I am in the opposite situation. My 28 mo loves to feed himself. He is very into the sensory aspect of eating and can be very messy. I try to roll with the punches and go along with his way of doing things as much as I can, but there are some things (e.g. frozen blueberries that have been thawed) I feed him. And I wonder if I am a bad mama for doing this! I guess we all have something we wring our hands over.

I recommend children's utensils with short, thick handles and holes in the bowl of the spoon/fork--this helps runnier foods like thick yogurt) stay on the spoon.

For runny yogurt (like Wallaby organic), I just serve that in a cup and he drinks it. I mostly buy 7 stars yogurt though, which is thicker (it tastes really enzymatic, which seems to me like it must be a good thing in terms of getting probiotics). Sometimes I make thicker yogurt drinkable by making it into a smoothie.

Regarding soup, I strain out the goodies and serve these to him in a bowl, which he eats with a spoon, fork, or his hands (lots of times he splits the difference and picks a piece of food up, puts it on his spoon, then eats it). He drinks the broth from the soup out of a cup (I use small cups and frequntly refill rather than use sippies at the table).

I make oatmeal pretty thick. I serve it in a bowl and DS sometimes uses a spoon, but often just uses his hands. His eating with his hands all the time is messy, but I keep a warm, wet washcloth at the table and he periodically wipes his hands and face (this is new--it used to be me that always did the wiping). He seems to enjoy using the washcloth--though he likes making messes, I don't think he really likes being messy.

HTH!


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## Strong Mama (Feb 7, 2006)

I dont know about the op, but I have tried EVERYTHING. We have loads of utensils, different kinds, my ds loves to feed himself if I put it on the spoon for him. The problem for him is getting it on the spoon. I am not too worried about it, he will outgrow it, how many 20yos do you see with their mamas feeding them? LOL


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## Aiti (Dec 24, 2003)

Thanks for the responses...keep 'em coming!
And yeah, I've tried a few different things; various spoons, taking turns, etc. He just doesn't wanna do it! I don't know, could he just be - I hate to say it - LAZY? I just keep hoping he will grow out of this. If not, well, I suspect he might be that first 20-yr old who takes mama along to college to feed him breakfast...


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## elmh23 (Jul 1, 2004)

My dd is a lot younger than most kids here (she's almost 15 months) but she does pretty good at eating oatmeal and yogurt with a fork. It takes a lot longer, but she gets it done. Have you tried giving him a fork to eat his food?


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

Don't worry, he'll get into the "do it MYSELF!!" phase soon enough.

Could you bake oatmeal muffins that he can self-feed? How about putting the yogurt into a cup?


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## chinaKat (Aug 6, 2005)

Maybe a little friendly modeling would work.

Arrange a play date or two that includes a meal with a friend his age (or even a little younger) that eats with a spoon.

You don't want it to be a situation where you make a big deal out of what he doesn't do... but maybe a well-placed compliment to the friend, or a comment afterwards ("Susie is really good at eating with a spoon, huh?") will make something click in his mind.


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## bzymom (May 22, 2005)

Don't mean to hijak your thread but my dd just turned 2 and feeds herself okay..... she has a tendency to flip the spoon upside down and dump everything on her right before it gets to her mouth. I try to guide her hands but there are times I just give her the food, utensils, and let her experiment so I can get something done while she is eating.

I don't know if this is a bad habit that I need to correct or is this something that I can expect that she can fix on her own??


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## Strong Mama (Feb 7, 2006)

Thats what my son does. I am hoping and sure it will correct itself with time.


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