# Started DrJayGordon nightweaning program



## Island Mommy (Mar 26, 2003)

Well, I've finally taken the plunge. DD is just over 11 months old and I am going to try nightweaning. I know many think this is too early, but I am so tired and can't find any way to get dd to sleep longer than 1 hour at a time.

We've been doing NCSS for a couple of months and I think it helped us last night. DD is very used to me delatching her as she falls asleep (ie. she's used to falling asleep without the nipple actually in her mouth). On the first 3 nights, Gordon suggests you nurse when dd wakes up but put her back down awake. I did this and DD cried for less than a minute each time then rolled around and went to sleep!! I was quite surprised. Normally I would relatch her at the first sign of a cry. I really thought she'd fuss a lot more.

She also only woke 4 times (I think, maybe 5) between 10 p.m. and 8:30 a.m.!!!! It was approx midnight, 2, 4 and 6. That's the best sleep we've had in ages. Was it a fluke? Maybe. I have one theory and that is that by rolling around she gets in a more comfortable position and that allows her to sleep longer.

Anyway, I'm optimistic now. We'll see how it goes when I actually don't nurse at all.

I did make a big mistake though. I tried putting her in her playpen last night after I'd nursed her to almost asleep for the night then I left the room for 5 minutes. Disaster. She cried for almost an hour after that even though dh or I never put her down. She finally fell asleep on dh's lap. We have always coslept, but I thought perhaps she was ready to sleep on her own. Nope. I'll try nursing her then lying down with her tonight but if necessary I'll sling her to sleep (that's what we've been doing the last couple of weeks). Getting her to go to sleep on her own is not a priority at all.

So, has anyone else been wanting to try the Gordon plan? I'd love a support partner.


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## hipumpkins (Jul 25, 2003)

Good Luck Island Mommy! We have been working on night weaning for about amonth. My DD is 14 mos. We went very consistent last week as husband took over all night time wakings. She did great until Christams night. She was hysterical so I finally intervened b/c it wasn't right having her so upset. Christams must have been just too much stimulous. Anyway...she did much better with him. No temptations you know? We will see how it continues as his week is up. He works long hours so it is very hard for him to lsoe too much sleep consistently.


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## abranger (Dec 15, 2001)

Island Mommy-

I just started the Jay Gordon thing last night. My dd is just 1 year as of last sat and she has never slept more than 5 hours and the last time she did that was august. SHe usually has one 3 hour stretch and then its every 1.5 hours or so. I went back to work in October and this is killing me. We co-sleep and last night my dh took her out of the bed when she woke up and sat with her for 3 hours b/c she would not go back to sleep. I think tonight I am going to try to sleep in the guest room. I would love to be your buddy in this. If you want PM me and I will give you my email address.

Amy


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## UmmSamiyah (Aug 12, 2003)

What exactly is the Jay Gordon plan? I want to night wean my son but don't know how please explain this plan.


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## Island Mommy (Mar 26, 2003)

Jay Gordon is a pediatrician in the U.S. who advocates the family bed, extended nursing and other AP stuff. He's written a book called "Good Nights".

On his website he has a suggested method of nightweaning which incorporates the family bed. It's a 10-day plan and he seems to think your child should be sleeping 7 hour stretches by the 10th day or a few days thereafter.

Here's the link.

http://www.drjaygordon.com/ap/sleep.htm

Last night was night 2 and not so bad although we had one stretch where dd cried on and off for over an hour. It was so tough not to nurse but I really want to give this process a shot. The other times she woke she nursed and I put her down awake and she went back to sleep with little fussing.

This is night 3 and will be the last night of nursing her when she wakes.







For all that I want to sleep I'm still a little sad about the idea of not nursing at night. We'll see how it goes.


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## abranger (Dec 15, 2001)

Island Mommy-

Got your message but your PM box is full

Amy


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## Sleepymama (Oct 9, 2003)

Hey good luck!!! We started the nightweaning around 11 months too. I think in extreme cases it's necessary.

And I agree it's too much to both nightwean and put her in her own bed--we tried that with disastrous results. Tackle one thing at a time! Besides, I like co-sleeping and would do it forever if only he didn't wake up so dang often.

I think your theory is right on too--now that DS can sleep a foot or so away from me he is able to find a comfortable position for himself. He used to sleep in my armpit so every time I twitched he'd wake up









We haven't nightweaned totally--he still BFs when he's with me, every other night he's with DH. But now he will nurse a little, then actually LET GO and roll over and go back to sleep. The NCSS didn't help with this--he would spot the "pull off" a mile away. I really think it was nightweaning with DH that helped.

Hope it keeps up!!!


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## Island Mommy (Mar 26, 2003)

Abranger

I've emptied my mailbox.


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## love2bhome (Jan 2, 2004)

We are three nights into the nightweaning program and it is going wonderful! DD has figured out that I am going to unlatch her before she's done and she actually does it herself. She is no longer crying afterwards either. She never really got too upset !

I'm curious to see how the next three nights will go. We are pretty determined though, just found out that number two is on the way. Making a baby and making breastmilk is a little too exhausting for me!

Island Mommy, how is your night weaning going?!


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## TranscendentalMom (Jun 28, 2002)

We're working on this too with our 14 month old. We did it once around 12 months and it worked successfully but then ds got sick and we were traveling over the holidays so now we have to do it again. It seems to work well but if I'm in the room it doesn't work...dh has to deal with the nightwakings. He's good at it but I feel bad because he's exhausted & has to go to work in the morn.

Let us know how its going...


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## sarasprings (Mar 30, 2003)

I'd like to keep hearing how everyone's been doing. We are getting ready to nightwean DS (20m). He has one more tooth to come in, then we're doing it. We're planning of using the 10 day plan.


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## IfMamaAintHappy (Apr 15, 2002)

have you all read the book, or are you just going off the recommendations from the webpage above?


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## *solsticemama* (Feb 8, 2003)

to know how things are going sleepy mamas. We've had a very very challenging week sleepwise. The past 3 nights ds has been waking to nurse every 1/2 hr. And I haven't been able to pop a pacifier in lately, it has to be mama or there are tears and lots of emotion. I'm feeling exhausted and irritable and somewhat at my wits end and I guess really questionning my mothering. Ds is 12.5 mos btw and we family bed. I checked out the website and it sounds great...in theory. So how's it going IRL mamas?


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## abranger (Dec 15, 2001)

This totally worked for us but dh HAS to be on board b/c it's all him. For us it would only work if he was the one comforting dd. By the third night she didn't even fuss too much when I unlatched her she just reached for daddy. it has been a few weeks and even with teething and a cold we still have no nursing from 10:30 to 5:30. most nights she wakes once or twice but dh is able to just hug her into him and she resettles. a couple of nights have had no waking at all during those hours.

also prior to this dd ate almost no solid food she is 12.5 months old. she did not even touch solids until 10 months and then not much. since the ninghtweaning she is really eating...not as much as our freinds her age but A LOT for her.

Amy


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## *solsticemama* (Feb 8, 2003)

Abranger that is very interesting about the solids. Ds is not interested in solids either. He's 99% bfed and seems quite happy to continue that way. Since he's still doing a tremendous amount of nightnursing part of me worries that since he still gets most (if not all some days) of his nutrition from bm then nightweaning might not be great for him nutritionally. I don't know yk?


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## abranger (Dec 15, 2001)

solsticemama

i was reluctant to nighwean b/c i was worried that she really needed it since she didn't eat solids much. it just finally got too hard for me i work 3 days a week and hadn't slept more than 3 hours since aug and not more than 5 in a year. i was wasted i finally had to try. also dd is in the 95% for weight so i new it would be ok if she got a little less for a couple of days. the solid food eating started the second day of doing the pragram.

amy


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## PAflower (May 12, 2002)

Hi ladies. I am in the process of this also. I am on my 7th day. But, I did it a little different. My husband is not home every night so I couldn't rely on him. My son is 20 months and was a constant night nurser.
The thing I did differently was...my son has recently woken up around 1:30am. Sometimes even an hour after going to bed. So, I nurse him as much as he wakes up while I am up. Then once I go to sleep, I only nurse him one time and then say, "no more until the sun comes up". This has been working all right. I need to be a little more on task without falling asleep so I can detach him.
My only problem is (and hopefully someone can help me)...He will go to sleep if he feels me there but unfortunately, my husband can't sleep if he is in bed. So, I"m stuck in the situation of choosing between my husband and my son, to sleep with. Will my son eventually just get used to me not being there? I don't mind sleeping with him but my husband is out of the bed 4 nights a week and when he is there, I would like to sleep with him.
anyone else trying to do this and not cosleep?

Thanks,


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## love2bhome (Jan 2, 2004)

ging ging - personally I just read the website. So far so good...!

We just made it through night four. It was a lot better than we thougt it would be. DD woke at 11:30, 1:00 and went back to sleep with very little fussing. I felt quite rejected because she would not let me comfort her! We sort of skipped the middle three nights though, DD has never been much of a cuddler. Then she woke at 4:00 and was awake on and off till 5:00. Not screaming though, just fussing, sleeping for 5-10 min then fussing again. Then she slept till 6:30, nursed and then slept till 7:30. Overall a good night!









I have a secret though and I really think it helps. We have taught DD some sign language. She can sign for milk and she can sign "all done" and she understands the concepts of them really well. Everytime she woke up I told her the milk was "all gone". She often signs "all gone" when she throws toys down the stairs over top of the gate, she knows that it means they are gone until mom gets them, not gone forever. It worked really well! At the 4:00 waking she was signing for milk with both her hands! We have a very dry house so we gave her a couple sips of water, seemed to help. Not sure if that is legal in the 10 day plan or not.







:

Looking forward to night 5! And its great to hear how everyone is doing!


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## Sleepymama (Oct 9, 2003)

That is very interesting about the solids. DS is almost 13 months and eats maybe a tablespoon of food a day. (also didn't start solids until 11 months and has difficulty with overactive gag reflex) He is mostly FFed now though b/c of my supply issues (long story, NICU, surgeries etc). But he still is attached to me all night. I think he really is genuinely hungry at night--I can hear his tummy growling! He just doesn't eat enough and is a tiny little guy. He normally gets a bottle around 1-2 and another around 5 or else he wakes up for the day. I am glad to hear this is working for some of you! I am just back from a trip and as soon as things settle down I'm going to try the 10 day plan again. He still wakes up frequently with DH but not as bad as with me. If I can get him waking only 2-3 times a night with me I'll consider that a success (currently every hour or less).

I also think offering water is fine--I know lots of moms who have nightweaned this way. It wouldn't be kind to let them go thirsty and I know I am thirsty in the night.


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## Shanghaimum (Jan 4, 2002)

I just wanted to do a quick post to tell you that it can work, but it may take longer than ten nights....
We nightweaned ds a week before he turned one. We modified Dr. Gordon's plan - basically started with a six hour stretch that he couldn't nurse during. Until the night we started, he had woken every 1.5 hours to nurse his whole life! The first night of the plan was hell - we cosleep and he ended up crying in our arms for over 2 hours. He never cried after the first night, but it took about 3-4 weeks, until he stopped waking every hour or so. After about a month, he was down to 2-3 wakings a night. I didn't nurse him, but then I just cuddled him back to sleep.

Like some of your little ones, my ds started to eat solids after he was nightweaned. He also started to really cluster feed in the three hours before bedtime. He stayed in the 95th percentile...
We were also able to continue cosleeping.

Good luck

Emma


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## Shanghaimum (Jan 4, 2002)

I just thought of one more thing - I thing it is important to not see nightweaning as necessarily "all or nothing". Even after ds was not nursing consistently for the six hour stretch, there were times when he would again nurse all night long (every hour or so) - times like when he was sick, or teething, or when we were away from home. Sometimes we would actually have a week or two, where ds would nurse all night long. Then once things were back to normal, we would resume 'no-nursing'. He never cried, but usually the first night he would be restless and just need extra cuddles. ... then he would resume his normal pattern of moreorless sleeping through.

Emma


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## UmmSamiyah (Aug 12, 2003)

OK, I have been procrastinating even reading the Jay Gordon Sleep plan. I am so busy during the day I feel terrible that I want to wean at night. But I am exhausted! I barely got any rest last semester! I go to school full time, work part time and am starting my own business, so sleep is a luxury to only be interrupted by my babe! I don't mean to sound bitter I just need sleep! Anyways, thank you for listening to my rant and wish me luck. I hope by the start of the next semester I have had and will have a full night's rest!


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## UmmSamiyah (Aug 12, 2003)

I was reading through Dr. Gordon's site and noticed he hates having babies sleep in a separate room in a crib or bed. Both of my kiddie poos sleep in their own rooms due to lack of room in our bed. DS just recently got used to sleeping in his own room and having his own space. I don't want to confuse him by bringing him _back_ in our bed. On the other hand if it will help him wean I will do it. Is there anyone else who has their babe in a different room? Or am I the only bad parent??


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## PAflower (May 12, 2002)

Hi Monique. I also have my son in another room due to my husband's inablility to cosleep. We used to have two beds in our room so I would just bring him in to our room in the middle of the night. Now we have one bed so I go into his room. He wakes up a lot and just says, "momma?" and if he hears me he usually goes back to sleep. I wonder how long I will be in his bed with him. I really want to sleep with my husband!
Will he eventually sleep all night in his room? Has anyone done it this way?


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## UmmSamiyah (Aug 12, 2003)

Quote:

Or am I the only bad parent?
I didn't mean that!!!







I meant am I a bad parent??


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## hipumpkins (Jul 25, 2003)

Island mommy how's it going?
We are making some great strides here in my home. Johanna has not nursed in the middle of the night for the last 3 nights. She is still waking but I am able to get her to lay down and go back to sleep. I can not bring her into our room at night, right now b/c then she just wants to nurse all night. iIn her own crib, however, she goes right back to sleep. I am unable to leave her room though b/c she hears me so I end up sleeping on her floor holding her hand. I also introduced a very cute teddy bear that she loves and it helps her get distracted from wanting to nurse. She has not cried formore then 2 minutes the past 3 nights. Can a full nights sleep be far behind????? I hope things are going equally well on your end.


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## Island Mommy (Mar 26, 2003)

Uh well, not so good here. DD has a streaming cold...her first really bad one. Needless to say, she is having difficulty nursing and our sleep is rapidly going downhill.

Now as well as nightwaking we're having a heck of a time at bedtime. She gets into this "zone" where she just cries and cries. Holding her gets her more upset. Trying to nurse doesn't work. Eventually she falls asleep but I really wish I could figure out why she's doing this. We never leave her alone when she's falling asleep but it sure does feel like CIO. Don't you wish they could just talk sometimes?


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## UmmSamiyah (Aug 12, 2003)

I must say! I didn't think I would be able to sleep through the night. But I did the first three nights and DS caught on so quickly. I don't know what it was/is but for some reason after the second night he just quit waking up in the middle of the night. I think one night he woke up to whine soI just held him and he was ok to go back to bed. Last night I stopped nursing him at 11:18 at 6:14 this morning he was up to nurse! Yea! Oh and Island mommy, it may be easier for you to night wean now that baby is not wanting to nurse. Just when your DD gets better continue the routine of getting up to hold her instead of nursing. Are you using any kind of humidifiers or nasal decongestants? Maybe lying down hurts her head.


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## IfMamaAintHappy (Apr 15, 2002)

Is anyone doing this and moving from co-sleeping to crib sleeping?

Is anyone doing this using a lovey (blanket/stuffed animal) or using any white noise or anything?

I had been wanting to nightwean, and decided that this was also a great time for Lily to learn to fall asleep on her own.

My older DD nursed to sleep and was never nightweaned until she self weaned at 31 months when I was 6 months pregnant. We never did a lovey, and we did use a fisher price aquarium for a lullabye type thing for her... but she was 2 1/2... whereas Lily is 14 months.

Grace, even when very ill with a cold or fever, never woke me more than 3 or 4 times, and that was in extreme circumstances. She moved from a twin bed in our room to a twin bed in her room very seamlessly at 2. Lily got 8 teeth in 5 weeks and then had a terrible cold that lasted for several weeks. We are on the other side of that now, and she is waking upwards of 4 times a night every single night and we just cant handle it anymore. I never thought I would feel such peace about starting a nightweaning process like this, but really, I have got to start getting decent rest. I waited to see if things would change after her cold, and they just arent. Lily falls asleep hanging out with Papa in the recliner several nights a week, so she is capable of falling asleep without nursing, and takes comfort from Papa, so we have a few points in our favor.

Anyway, we are starting tomorrow night, barring any odd circumstance like a sudden illess. I am glad you are here to listen to our experiences!


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## Sleepymama (Oct 9, 2003)

Island mommy, we went through this bedtime problem this week too--a couple of nights he screamed in our arms until he puked. Argh!

I found this natural music for sleep CD that I had gotten free a long time ago and put it on, and it really helped! One of us sleeps with him on a big futon on the floor in his room and we have a CD player in there. We do his bedtime routine in the family room--bottle, play computer games with DH, then lights off and walk around in the dark, then into his room, lie down in bed until asleep. Well he was starting to freak out before we even finished the routine and DH took him in his room and he just relaxed when he heard the music! Might be worth a try--there are lots of sleep CDs out there.

We tried nightweaning with a crib, but apparently it is made of acid. He wouldn't even sleep in it at all. That was a week and a half of pure hell. But he has never even napped in a crib. He is doing better--only wakes 4-5 times a night now instead of hourly (most nights, on bad nights still hourly). But I am not consistent about denying the booby. It really depends on whether he seems more agitated or twitchy than normal (teething, bad naps that day, etc.)


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## hipumpkins (Jul 25, 2003)

Quote:

Is anyone doing this using a lovey (blanket/stuffed animal) or using any white noise or anything?
I introduced a stuffed bear and initially it took some tome for her to snuggle with it. How I started was, when she would wake crying to nurse I would have the bear "smell" her feet and faint. She thoguht that as very funny and a few nights we were up for more then hour playing but not nursing. Now she sems to really like that bear. We haven't been up playing or nursing for 4 nights now. She does need reminders to lay down but she goes right back to sleep. Hoipefully no surprises are down the road (teeth, colds) and we can continue on this path to sleepdom.

I do play a lullabuy CD that my mom made for us,too. I don't know if thaty helps or not b/c sometimes for naps I forget to turn it on and she goes right to sleep anyway.


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## IfMamaAintHappy (Apr 15, 2002)

Thanks for your reply, hipumpkins, and again, glad to see others here with some commiseration and cameraderie!

Another question.... is anyone using any water for the nights when baby wakes and is allowed to nurse before being put down awake... is anyone using water for the first night, if requested, of the non nursing when you wake nights?

Just wondering. I dont recall the site mentioning that aspect, and how to know if they are really thirsty.

I plan on offering water or nursing if she wakes the first 3 nights, hut wondered what your thoughts were.

Tonight is night one. We ought to take turns napping this evening before it starts.....


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## Shanghaimum (Jan 4, 2002)

Since nightweaning, my son always takes a sippy cup of water to bed with him. I don't think it is a bad thing...
We also use a white noise machine (we ordered it from earplugstore.com - it is excellent).

Good luck everyone - it really will get better.

Emma


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## *solsticemama* (Feb 8, 2003)

Hi mamas. I've been following along reading how everyone's doing and decided to check in, let you know I'm cheering for you. I've yet to start the program. Ds is asleep in the sling right now. That's how he goes down for every nap and night. Unless it's a really challenging day and we get in the car. I guess part of me is just not that confident that this program will work for us. I've tried comforting ds when he wakes, holding him, rocking him etc and while it has worked in the past occasionally lately it's not working at all...gotta go he just woke up, more later.


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## IfMamaAintHappy (Apr 15, 2002)

I nursed Lily down at 11 last night and laid her in the crib. SHe has taken naps there and spent part of nights there, so it is not a strange place.

She woke at 11:45. I nursed her a little, sang to her, my husband "shhhhhhh-ed" her, we laid her down, she popped back up, we started it over again. Took about 45 minutes, and I really think she fell asleep at the breast when I laid her in and she stayed asleep.

She woke about 3:50. I nursed her a good, long time. We sang, we hugged and held and rocked and shhhh-ed. Repeat. I think about 20 minutes into it I told her I wasnt going to nurse her and I started singing to her. I first sang Old Macdonald, then Twinkle Twinkle, then Baa Baa Black Sheep, then the kids praise song "Deep and Wide". It seemed to work well for us if I sang to her while I held her, and then when I laid her in the crib, I had a hand on her tummy and her back. I slowly took the one hand out from under her, and left the other on her belly and sang more and covered her up. It worked. Took about 45 minutes again.

If she'd awakened at 6, Id have brought her into bed. She woke at 8:05!!!! I brought her into bed after telling her what a good sleeper she was, then we nursed and slept for an hour.

So that was night one.


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## kofduke (Dec 24, 2002)

We started 3 nights ago. I thought, like ging-ging, that this would be a good chance to get Aaron 100% in his crib, but I've revised that, and I think it was too many changes at once for him. I spent 3 hours one evening trying to get him in his crib (either asleep or awake!) until my DH told me to bring him to bed so I could get some sleep. He's been going down to sleep at 8:00, and not waking until 3:00. At that time, he comes to our bed - it seems it's more the cuddles than the nursing he wants. Both nights, he's awoken wanting to nurse around 4:00, and getting a little angry that I won't nurse him, but after about 15 minutes he is falling back asleep. Overall, I'm impressed iwth how well it's going!


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## TranscendentalMom (Jun 28, 2002)

I posted on here awhile back....happy to report that its worked! Ds slept from 8-6:30 last night in a floor bed in the next room. We didn't do quite the way Dr. Gordon did it - basically we put him to sleep in the floor bed and then dh when in an patted him to sleep when he woke. After several weeks, he stopped waking up.


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## love2bhome (Jan 2, 2004)

I am very happy with our progress in nightweaning. DD has been sleeping a good 7-8 hours with no nursing. She still wakes up on occassion, but I just tell her the milk is all gone and she lays down and goes to sleep. It doesn't work after the 7 hours are up - she's hungry or thirsty I guess.

I gave her some water the first few nights of no nursing. She took it fine. Now when I offer she refuses. If I ever manage to get her in her crib more often I will definately leave her with a sippy cup of water.

Happy sleeping!


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## IfMamaAintHappy (Apr 15, 2002)

well, our turn with the stomach virus is giving us some interruption to the magic 10 day plan, but I am alreadyseeing positive results from our decision to night wean.

Night before last, Lily got sick at 11:00 pm. I rocked her to sleep, and put her in her crib. She woke again not long after that and we were able to comfort her to sleep in 15 minutes, with not much crying in arms at all. She settled into the rocking and swaying and was fine. I put her down drowsy, and she fell asleep. When she woke around 4, she gagged and retched a little, so I figured she really had a virus. I went to the living room with her and we were in the recliner the rest of the night. She didnt nurse till 8:30 or so yesterday morning.

She seemed fine all day yesterday, ate lunch, a bit of supper, I nursed her down at 11. SHe woke around midnight and my husband rocked and swayed and shushed her. Took longer, but she settled in about 20 minutes. When she woke at 4:30, she spat up milk, so I took her into the guest bedroom and laid with her. I sang to her while she was next to me and she drifted off after being told that "ging-ging went night night".

At 630, my older DD woke with the stomach bug. so we'll see how we all feel tonight and decide how to progress. Lily is fine from the bug now, but Im not sure how Rob and I will be!


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## laurag (Feb 22, 2002)

Hey sleepless moms can I make a suggestion? I recieved words of wisdom from a mother that suggested, nurse baby (about 15 months) to sleep, but inform the child no more milk untill morning. The child will wake up asking for milk and crying but you refuse, hold them, and tell them when the sun wakes up and you can see the trees outside you may have milk. 3 nights of fussing and then the child gets the picture. I know other moms that have has success with this too. My girl still wakes up and ask (2 years old), but I ask her do you see the sun light? she understands and just wants to be held and we fall fast to sleep. Good Luck. Carrie


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## Heavenly (Nov 21, 2001)

I'm sure you all know this but I just wanted to remind everyone to watch your child to make sure they are handling this alright. I tried to nightwean my daughter at 11 months because she was waking every hour all night. She seemed very distraught during the day, cried more and clung to me more. This showed me that she really wasn't ready. She is 14.5 months now and sleeping much better but by her own doing. She usually wakes 2-4 times and I can handle that. If it works for you great but just remember that it may be hard on your little one.


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## HB's Mom (Jan 23, 2004)

My son is a week shy of 9 months and has been night weaned for a couple weeks. He is a healthy little chunk of a boy, very very active, already standing alone and threatening to walk. He was exclusively breastfed on demand until 6 months. We added solids according to Super Baby Foods and he eats everything we give him and it's all very healthy. He is still being breastfed 4-6 times per day and then goes about 10 hours at night without nursing. Our problem is that despite being night weaned, he still wakes up 4-8 times a night. This is nothing new. He has been waking multiple times since he was about 4 months old (before that he was a heavenly sleeper) but we thought the night weaning would help and it hasn't. I know some people say he is too young to be night weaned, but I know he is not hungry. I can go to him, hold him right on my chest and he doesn't cry or want to nurse, he is just awake. He sleeps in his crib in his room, but that is only about 15 feet from my bedside. When he wakes my husband or I go in immediately and pat him, sing, shush, etc. I pick him up if he is already standing up and then lay him right back down. He doesn't protest this too much and really seems to be trying to go back to sleep. He has a little stuffed lovey that he holds, but can sleep without it too. He can definitely fall asleep w/o nursing, and can fall asleep in his crib (with one of us next to him) but he cannot STAY asleep. We have tried putting him in our bed, but I guess the novelty of it is too much for him. He crawls all around.

He also is a very short napper. He typically takes 2 naps a day (usually falling asleep w/o nursing) but they are only 20 minutes each. Sometimes after he wakes I can pick him up and rock him back to sleep or nurse him back to sleep and then he will stay asleep an hour or even two, as long as I am holding him.

What to do??? We will never (we think) let him CIO. I just keep wondering WHY he wakes up so often. Sounds like lots of other babies do too, from reading these boards. Still, any advice would be great.

Oh, one more thing, how do you use Dr. Gordon's method when the child is standing/sitting in the bed. You aren't supposed to pick him up, just rub or pat, but there he is standing. Could someone pls clarify that detail?

Thanks very much.
HB's Mom


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## IfMamaAintHappy (Apr 15, 2002)

we had a bout with a stomach virus last week that interrupted things. We didnt stop really, but altered and slowed the plan. Lily has not been nursing between 11 and 6. She goes down asleep in her crib. If she wakes before about 3 in the morning, we comfort her back to sleep in the crib with shushing and singing and swaying. If she wakes up around 3 of 4, I take her into the guest bedroom and we sleep, but I sing her back to sleep rather than nurse her. She fusses when my husband puts her back to sleep in the crib, but maybe 10-15 minutes, while he holds or pats her. And she doesnt fuss when I lay her next to me, she goes right back to sleep while I sing.

So here soon we will move to the no picking up part, having just gotten past the stomach thing on Friday. I'll see if I want her to totally stay in the crib, or if Im okay with getting her out if it's the middle of the night.


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## Sleepymama (Oct 9, 2003)

Quote:

_Originally posted by laurag_
*Hey sleepless moms can I make a suggestion? I recieved words of wisdom from a mother that suggested, nurse baby (about 15 months) to sleep, but inform the child no more milk untill morning. The child will wake up asking for milk and crying but you refuse, hold them, and tell them when the sun wakes up and you can see the trees outside you may have milk. 3 nights of fussing and then the child gets the picture. I know other moms that have has success with this too. My girl still wakes up and ask (2 years old), but I ask her do you see the sun light? she understands and just wants to be held and we fall fast to sleep. Good Luck. Carrie*

3 nights? Wow, that kid must have been ready for it. I have been trying for months, and I think he's finally really ready. He is 13 months now and mostly just sucks for a minute or two then rolls over and settles down. No more endless sucking all night long. Sometimes he doesn't even want to nurse, he just wants me to help him find a more comfortable position. I'm trying the No Cry Sleep solution techniques again, which didn't work well before. I think he wasn't ready. The pull off, not responding until he's really awake, not feeding a sleeping baby all are starting to work now. I'm about to impose a shorter period of no-nursing, not 7 hours, but maybe 4 or 5, between 11 or 12 and 4am or so. These seem to be the hours he wakes up the least. He is down to 3-5 wakings from 8-10 though, but I am not sure it is anything I did or not!


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## hipumpkins (Jul 25, 2003)

HB's Mom

My DD (almost 15 mos) stands up too. I have a crib that has a little door on it so when I go in I open the door and help her down to sleep. I can also lay my head next to her that way. I am short so I wouldn't be able to lay her down as easliy w/o that door but I guess what I m saying that a little genlte help back down didn't really interfere with our sleep "school"


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## IfMamaAintHappy (Apr 15, 2002)

Ok, last night was the worst night ever. I am so so sorry we had the stomach bug last week, because it just messed everything up.

Lily bellowed for 2 hours last night while I was trying to get her to sleep. She bucked and screamed and carried on. I felt like she was doing CIO!!! But I was right there. I couldnt do anything to calm her. It was crazy.

She took 45 minutes in the two times she was up the first night, and 15-20 when she was up the two times in following nights. Then we got the stomach bug. Then we started again, and it is so aweful.

Waaaaah! Anyone have this happen that it got worse before it got better?


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## hipumpkins (Jul 25, 2003)

Yes ging ging. It really was darkest beore the dawn. The last ngiht before she started sleeping 5 hours was the worst. She cried on and off for almost an hour. I did play with her to distract her...see if that slows the crying. Just make sure she isn't really needing to nurse as much as wanting to. I can tell the differnt cries and I can distract DD if she isn't really needing it as much as wanting it. A couple nights ago she woke up very upset and I nursed her b/c it wasn't the usual cry. She did not go back to old habits and still sleeping for at least 5 hours and last night it was 7.


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