# Do you let your kids play outside late at night?



## Boot (Jan 22, 2008)

This is partly a vent and partly a genuine desire to see the other side other coin.

We live in a townhouse complex which has loads of kids. The kids play outside all the time which is great. I love to see it. The thing is, they are really loud. Sound seems to carry and the houses are old with no sound insulation. It's like having a soccer game in your kitchen! I think I'm pretty tolerant of this but occasionally it has become too much even for me and I've gone outside and asked them to tone it down or wind up their game. This is usually around 10pm when I want to go to bed and I know I'll never be able to sleep with the noise under my window. I always speak to them respectfully and they are polite and courteous back. And they always comply.

The thing is, I am the ONLY adult who ever asks them to stop. I know others find it disruptive because there have been numerous complaints to the strata council and requests in the minutes for parents to be aware of the noise their children are making.

I can understand the adults who don't have children not wanting to speak to them. Groups of kids can be intimidating. But why don't the parents speak up? They know it's loud, they know people find it disruptive. You can't expect children to automatically know how their actions affect others, this is a learned skill. IMO it's part of the parent's role to model this. But maybe I'm way off. My son is only 13 mo so maybe I will get it when he's older. Can anyone enlighten me?


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## damona (Mar 27, 2008)

we have the same situation here. our complex has at least 80 kids, most of them babies to 12 or so, with a handful of older teens. the apartments are built in a sort of hollow square, with the playground and field in the center. sound echoes and carries... oh my goodness! i drag my crew in by 8pm most of the time, 9pm in the summer, but i start reminding them to play more quietly around 7.30pm, which is when a lot of the littlest kids go to bed. i seem to be the only one who does this, however. i think that a lot of parents just tune out the noise, especially if they don't have any younger kids any more. sometimes the parents are worse than the kids around here! they'll have a bbq or something and they'll all sit outside, talking and laughing and just being loud until midnight or later! that, honestly, bothers me more than the kids do, b/c the adults should realize that there are little kids trying to sleep!


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## Alyantavid (Sep 10, 2004)

We have the same type of thing here. We live in the country but down a lane with several other houses. One family has 2 boys that are out until 10ish at night. My boys go to bed at 8:30 and these kids are out making tons of noise. Most times I don't mind too much, but lately they've been out on motorcycles which are loud enough to keep my kids up.

I wouldn't let my kids do that personally.


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## VisionaryMom (Feb 20, 2007)

My kids play outside at night. We're in a house, though, so I don't worry about the noise. The kids behind us are up much later than my kids outside. For the most part I don't mind. What really irks me is that our neighbor's son (he's 38) revs his motorcycle at random times. We've asked him twice not to do it at 11 pm, especially right outside our kids' window. He seems geniunely surprised that the kids would be asleep.


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## grumpybear (Oct 5, 2006)

Our neighbor's kids (ages 6 and 4) were playing outside at 2 in the morning a few days ago.
Even though we live in a house, the kids squealing and dog barking were still enough to bother us.
Granted that we live in Alaska and there's still daylight at 2am but still...


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

We've sometimes played outside at night, but our girls are usually asleep before 10. Many of the children and adults in our neighborhood stay out much later and make a lot of noise. It doesn't bother me or my sleeping children, but sometimes it keeps dh awake.

The predominant culture in our neighborhood is one that seems to do a lot of late-night socializing and partying. We just figure we're in the minority and we need to adapt.


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## onlyzombiecat (Aug 15, 2004)

We sometimes are out at night- late is relative I suppose.
We aren't talking or playing with a bunch of people though. I encourage dd to be quiet outside after 10PM because I know others may be in bed.
People don't really stay out late normally in our neighborhood.


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## CarrieMF (Mar 7, 2004)

When the girls are off school they are often still up at 10pm & if it is nice out they are outside(though usually coming in by 10pm). Here it is still quite light out at 10 & by the time summer actually hits the sun hasn't set yet.


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## UnschoolnMa (Jun 14, 2004)

Yes in the summer particularly they/we would be outside late. We always tried to keep our neighbors in mind with regard to noise though.


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## pigpokey (Feb 23, 2006)

I think the first move would be earplugs and/or white noise. If you cannot tolerate / enjoy your rest with those aids or they are not effective you really do have a right to quiet hours. Your community association should vote and decide what quiet hours are, and then enforcement can be by the townhouse association method same as someone who painted their townhouse bright pink or whatever else would be a rule violation.


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## kennedy444 (Aug 2, 2002)

In the summer my kids and the neighbor kids all play outside late at night. THey play some crazy game of tag or something and they like it to be pitch dark. They usually aren't too loud and are in the house by 11pm.


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## BunnySlippers (Oct 30, 2007)

dd is allowed to play outside at night. I do ask her to keep it to a respectable level. Same as daytime though. We live in the city and who knows when someone is trying to sleep or get a baby to sleep.
When we were in the country she could be as loud as she wanted. It helped me keep tabs on her location.

I think at 10 pm it is definately time to be considerate of the neighbourhood and be quieter.
I know what you mean abou the walls. I can hear the neighbours talking in thier driveway when I am laying in bed. And thats with the windows closed.


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## FondestBianca (May 9, 2008)

Ok, first I will say that I am biased because of the situation I've been exposed to. There is a park one block from my house. It is a large park with playground, basketball court, and skate park. There is a 10pm curfew in my town so it does typically stop then as the police like to put stop to any drug trafficing going on there at night... (yes, we're talking teens here... not gangs or dangerous types... TEENS and preteens).

I think it's quite natural for kids to fall into fads in speech, action, and the like but, it's the parents job to keep it in check. So far I've only seen a couple of respectable kids congragating at the park in the evening hours. Some of the kids are there all day. Using horrid language, smoking, drinking in friends vechiles parked next to the park, trading 'goods', making innappropriate sexual remarks and gestures, flirting far beyond what is safe for their age, etc, etc... There are some kids that are there to socialize in a fashion there parents would be proud of but, those are few.... very few.

Honestly, I wouldn't let my daughter be around that kind of example. It isn't about trust of your own child. Even if I knew my daughter (or son) had a good head on their shoulders I wouldn't allow them to subject themselves to that kind of environment in the evening hours. Maybe it is worse in my town. Maybe the kids at your complex are sweet kids who just like to gab all night. But, in my experience it's a breeding ground for bad behavior. Number one, kids shouldn't be unattended for any extended period of time, number two, parents should be near or checking in often to keep their own children in check (so you don't have to do it), and number three the other people in the building should be getting together and doing something about it themselves (again, so you don't have to do it).

It sounds like the parents of the older loud children arnen't doing anything to curb their kid's behavior. If it were me and my loud child I would tell them they need to keep it quiet and respectable. The very next time they didn't they would be spending thier time indoors with me rather than their friends. Kids need to be taught why something is wrong not just told it's wrong. Teens especially have a tendency to "not care" about others... that is absolutly not ok. Parents need to be taking some action and responsibility for their kids.

Geez these kids these days.


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## wonderwahine (Apr 21, 2006)

no, our complex has a 10pm curfew and if we see any kids/teens outside making alot of noise etc we call the cops.

I personally wouldn't let my kids out after dark.


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## mtiger (Sep 10, 2006)

We (our neighborhood) go by "when the street lights come on, it's time to come in." I don't think it's reasonable to expect the neighborhood to comply with the early bedtimes of small children, sorry. So in autumn/winter, the kids come in earlier than they do in spring/summer. Friday/Saturday in the summer? I don't have a problem with the kids being outside much later than that - although I do try to keep it to out backyard and the music's turned down. Just as if it was a real "grown up" party.


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## Boot (Jan 22, 2008)

Well, I think I would be happy to have any of you as neighbours. You all seems to have some consideration and an idea of compromise. Like I said, I think I am pretty tolerant and when MY comfort level is exeeded I talk to the kids. But I know other people are far more bothered by it than me and I wish other adults would give the kids a friendly reminder to keep it to a dull roar









When it will really be a problem for me will be when DS is going to school because I know I would NOT be happy with him running around until after 10pm on a school night and it will be torture for him to hear all his friends. Hopefully we will have moved by then.


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## thefragile7393 (Jun 21, 2005)

No. Granted ds is two but in the future, no. Growing up, I was in the house by the time it started to get dark and the streetlights started coming on and now I trust no one anywhere, regardless of type of neighborhood. IMO, and IMO only, kids need to be inside after dark. If you live in a rural area....okay, I can get that but even then I'd be hesitent. Everywhere I've lived (except for the small time we lived in a small rural town) I've seen kids wandering around at night, even up to 10 pm. Just not acceptable to me for my children.


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## kblackstone444 (Jun 17, 2007)

My kids do sometimes, yes, but once it's 7 or 8 o'clock, we remind them to keep the noise level down, which they do. They are both completely supervised after dark, by the way.


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## Mama Poot (Jun 12, 2006)

I don't have older kids, but if my kids were old enough to be out they most definitely WOULD NOT be-not in this neighborhood anyway. The kids who ARE out late on this street are up to no good, in fact I routinely have to chase them off the property and/or call the cops and report them for trespassing. We've had theft issues here, and so has everyone else, so this street is pretty zero-tolerance with that kind of thing.


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## LittleYellow (Jul 22, 2004)

Mine are young now and can't stay up late enough to be outside after dark (wish they could). If they can stay up late enough when they are older then yes, I would let them play outside after dark. It's the only time one of my dd's can play outside freely. I will expect them to be respectful of noise though and will probably be there with them 'cause I like to go outside too.


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## mtiger (Sep 10, 2006)

Besides - you can't play Manhunt until after dark!


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## velochic (May 13, 2002)

I've pretty much come to the conclusion over the years that these types of questions have meaningless answers. I can say "no"... and my answer is "no", but then I feel the obligation of explaining that dd is 6 years old, she's an only child, the neighborhood has no other children, a twice convicted child molester lives two blocks away, we live on a very busy street, blah, blah.

In these cases, it seems that the question is probably better posed to your neighbors or others in your local.


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

As far as the concerns about dangerous people in the neighborhood -- couldn't that problem be resolved by a parent being outside with the child? Of course, I'm not saying that all kids and parents "should" be outside late at night (as I've already said, we're usually asleep before then here) -- just that if the kids are wanting to, parents being out there would certainly increase safety (and parental guidance could greatly reduce the risk of annoyance to neighbors)!


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## limette (Feb 25, 2008)

When they are older sure but I can definitely understand the problem if you are living in close proximity to other people.

My nearest neighbours have teens and they also throw a lot of outdoor parties around their fire pit (across a creek). The water drowns out most of the noise but sometimes they can get pretty loud, especially if there is alcohol involved. Fortunately our neighbours are really lovely people and they always tell us and the couple (with young kids) on the other side that if they are too noisy just to let them know and they'll tone it down.

I think in a situation like yours the kids should definitely be inside (or quiet) later in the evening.


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## Joyster (Oct 26, 2007)

My kids are usually in bed by nine, but I remember being older and if our parents were outside, we'd be outside too in the summer nights. Some of my finest memories were of those times.

That said, I lived in a co-op which sounds a lot like where you live and noise really traveled. I think it's important that kids can play, you also have to teach them to be mindful of others at later hours (or in general) but I think unless your complex or city has a bylaw around it, you're going to have to be the squeaky wheel in this case because a lot of people don't have that stop in their mind to say "Gee, maybe we/our kids/our dog who we let bark at 4 am in the morning are being too noisy."


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## leighi123 (Nov 14, 2007)

When I was growing up, the rule was that when the street lights go on, its time to go in. Which means in the summer, you can stay out later, and in the winter when it gets dark (and cold) earlier, you go in earlier. Seemed to make sence to me and will be what we do with ds.


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## mommy68 (Mar 13, 2006)

Do you rent your home? If so, then I'd complain to the landlord.









If they are underage children with no supervision then call the sheriff if they are outside making noise late at night. You could also call CPS anonymously.


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## ~PurityLake~ (Jul 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wonderwahine* 
no, our complex has a 10pm curfew and if we see any kids/teens outside making alot of noise etc we call the cops.

I personally wouldn't let my kids out after dark.









:

Respecting others is important. Telling those who follow the rules to plug their ears and deal is a selfish attitude.


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

How old are these kids?

I wouldn't allow a 6yo to be up at 10:00 PM, because in the spring he has school in the mornings and in the summer he has to be up for camp, so he needs to be in bed by then. I do let my kids play/hang out on our own property at night.

If we lived in a townhouse complex, with outside lighting, and the kids were never far from home, I wouldn't have a problem with a 10+yos playing outside with a group of children that I'd already met. I might even let a younger child join in with older siblings. But I would talk to my kids about noise levels and respecting others, and if they were making so much noise that they bothered neighbors, my kids would have to come in for the night (or lose these priveledges altogether if it was a continual problem.)

I can't see where this would be a CPS issue unless this only involves small children.


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## widemouthedfrog (Mar 9, 2006)

I don't let dd out after 7 pm at the moment, but she is not quite three. I do let her out in front of our townhouse to play when I am making dinner.

For us, 7-8 pm is the only time daddy is home, and therefore it is family time. If she is outdoors, she is playing with the other kids and doesn't talk with daddy. We do go outside in our "yard," though.


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## ThreeBeans (Dec 2, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommy68* 
Do you rent your home? If so, then I'd complain to the landlord.









If they are underage children with no supervision then call the sheriff if they are outside making noise late at night. You could also call CPS anonymously.









Call CPS because children are in their own backyard playing?

Good grief.


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## ThreeBeans (Dec 2, 2006)

Oh and OP I would not allow my children to be so discourteous of others. Nuh-uh.


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## stormborn (Dec 8, 2001)

Yes but the loud play ends by 9 or 10, earlier if it's obvious that someone has to go to bed early. We go for walks, chase fireflies, stuff like that much later but we are careful to be quiet about it.


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## Boot (Jan 22, 2008)

Thanks for everyone's input. Sounds like I'm not way off base to think the parents could take a more proactive role. Like I said, I'm pretty tolerant and if it gets too much for me I just speak to the kids nicely so I am definitely not going to call the cops or child services or even complain to the strata. I MIGHT speak to the parents directly if it gets really bad over the summer.

I just really wanted to get some sympathy (which I have) and to find out whether there was something I was missing in the whole equation (seems not).

I think what it boils down to is that this is not the ideal place for us to live as DS grows up. I love that the kids play outside at all hours but I don't love that they are not learning the basics of consideration and respect for others. Maybe I'm being idealistic but I'd like to live near other families that had similar ideals. But I guess that's a topic for another thread







.


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## hippiemum21580 (Jul 14, 2007)

Well, we homeschool but I still try to follow politeness and if it is a school night for other kids (theer are a good 100 kids in our complex!) I have my kids in by 8 pm. I don't mind so much about other peoples kids out late since my boys' room is in teh back away frommost noise. but it always blows my mind when I see kids running around at like 11 at night when they have school the next day. (VERY common here!) HOW do those parents get thier kids up at 6 a.m. to catch the bus??????


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## Redifer (Nov 25, 2006)

We're a nightshift/swing shift family, so yes, my children play outside late at night often enough. However, we live in a... gregarious? community where other children are often out playing late, adults are outside with music playing and friends over. That's part of the reason why we moved to this specific apartment.

In the past, we lived in tight-knit housing rentals, so we'd take the kids to the park, or the beach, or something so they could play. It was part of being respectful to our neighbors. Just like I don't like people knocking on my door or being loud at 8 am, after I got home from work at 6 am, I'm sure they don't want to hear my kids outside at 11 or midnight when they have to get up at 5.

I think it is slightly rude of your neighbors to let the kids be extremely loud late at night in a very tight, echo-ey community.


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