# Never, ever thought I'd have to post here *Update Post #26*



## Mama~Love (Dec 8, 2003)

I'm so hurting now. I found out yesterday that my baby died about 3 weeks ago; I was 10 weeks along. I have never gone through this before, and hoped I never would.

I don't know what to do. I'm scared of bleeding too much at home, but scared of a D&C too. I don't want my baby thrown out in the trash. I want to bury my baby & plant a tree in his/her honor.

I'm crying a lot, the "why's" are filling my thoughts.


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## ~Charlie's~Angel~ (Mar 17, 2008)

I can't believe you have to post here either. Trully, I am so very very sorry for you. I hope everyone in your family is being very gentle and supportive of you. You are all in my thoughts and prayers.


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## Zan&Zav (Nov 25, 2006)

im so so sorry for your loss


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## CherryBomb (Feb 13, 2005)

I'm sorry


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## AmBam (Jun 9, 2004)

Oh...I'm so sorry! I just went through this for my first time also. It's absolutely heartbreaking. I wish you weren't experiencing this. I was able to have my baby at home and I pray you can too. Do you have a midwife or someone who could assist you? I don't know what to tell you to expect for 10 weeks. I was almost 19 weeks when I had my little guy and I don't know how much different it will be for you. If you have questions or need to talk feel free to pm me. I am so sorry mama. My heart it breaking for you!







Hang in there....


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## Mama~Love (Dec 8, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AmBam* 
Oh...I'm so sorry! I just went through this for my first time also. It's absolutely heartbreaking. I wish you weren't experiencing this. I was able to have my baby at home and I pray you can too. Do you have a midwife or someone who could assist you? I don't know what to tell you to expect for 10 weeks. I was almost 19 weeks when I had my little guy and I don't know how much different it will be for you. If you have questions or need to talk feel free to pm me. I am so sorry mama. My heart it breaking for you!







Hang in there....

I am so sorry you went through this














. No, I don't have a MW to help. I'm considering a D&C, I'm scared to have it happen at home now. Nothing's happening yet except some crampiness.

Maybe I'm feeling alone today, which I am. I only have my girls here. If it does happen on it's own, I hope DH can be here with me because he's an EMT, and would definitely recognize if something was really wrong.


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## Milk8shake (Aug 6, 2009)

Sorry for your loss.
Personally I have had one natural loss and two d&cs. Although the d&cs were scary, I have never regretted either. They gave me a feeling of control in an uncontrollable time. The natural loss was also scary, and if you go that way, I would definately recommend having an adult with you at all times.
It terms of letting it happen naturally, it may still take some weeks - which is hard to deal with in itself.

All the best for whatever you decide


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## Mama~Love (Dec 8, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Milk8shake* 
Sorry for your loss.
Personally I have had one natural loss and two d&cs. Although the d&cs were scary, I have never regretted either. They gave me a feeling of control in an uncontrollable time. The natural loss was also scary, and if you go that way, I would definately recommend having an adult with you at all times.
It terms of letting it happen naturally, it may still take some weeks - which is hard to deal with in itself.

All the best for whatever you decide









*Milk8shake* - thank you! I will read that thread. Another reason why I'm considering the D&C is the waiting. I can't go on like this for weeks.

I've had a D&C after my last birth due to retained membranes (10 days postpartum), and it wasn't that bad. I didn't have ANY cramps or bleeding afterwards, and felt better almost right away.

Thanks for the info, I really appreciate it.


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## philomom (Sep 12, 2004)

Sorry for the loss of your babe.


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## Milk8shake (Aug 6, 2009)

Maybe I'm going crazy or something, but I can't seem to see the sticky thread. I hope you are able to find it, because it is a big help.
ETA: it is in the resource thread sticky. 'what to expect with a miscarriage'


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## SimplyRochelle (Feb 21, 2007)

So very sorry. The same thing happened to us at 12 weeks (the baby had been dead for weeks), but I didn't know until I started bleeding. I didn't have to wait long for things to start after that so no experience in the d&c dept. I had a midwife I could have called, but I felt like I was just going to be bothering her. I was trying to be strong and do it at home naturally without any help, but I almost passed out in the shower so DH insisted we go to the ER. They didn't do much for me there and were very rough and harsh. They gave me some pain pills, a rhogram shot, and sent me on my way, telling me to return if I bled through more than one pad an hour. I am so very sorry you're having to post here. We hate to see the club grow.

I second the recommendation of that thread. It was incredibly helpful in preparing me for what I was about to experience.


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## pauletoy (Aug 26, 2007)

I am so sorry. I lost my baby on Mother's Day. It really sucks!


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## MI_Dawn (Jun 30, 2005)

Oh Mollie, I'm so sorry.


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## enigo (Mar 11, 2009)

Mollie









Lemme just say the waiting for something to happen can be the hardest part. Luckily for me, (HA! I say! HA!) this time everything started quickly. I had thought I would get a D&C this time, because I really couldn't take the wait again. Last time it was about 5 wks from when I found out there was no heartbeat. This time it was 2 days. So I didn't have to make the decision.

Again


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## poppiesinjuly (Sep 22, 2009)

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I'm sure all of us were shocked to be here at one point or another.









I had a MC last June at 10-11 weeks. The baby stopped growing just after 8 weeks. I saw the HB at 8 weeks, but the baby only measumed over 6 weeks.

I did go to the ER, and everyone was amazing. They were kind and sensitive. I went home because I really wanted to take a shower and sleep in my own bed over night. I told them I would schedule the D&C the next day. I MC that night at home and ended up seeing my OB the next day. My uterus had not emptied completely, so I went through the D&C anyway. It was not so bad. Again, everyone was very sensitive and kind. My bleeding tapered off and stopped within just a few days.

I guess I had the best experience I could in a bad situation. I MC at home with my DH, but didn't have to wait for ages for my uterus to empty completely on it's own, which could have been weeks of bleeding and spotting. We started trying again after 3 months. I'm PG again now with almost exactly the same EDD as last year.

What I'm basically trying to say is that whatever choice you make, it will be the right one.


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## Mama~Love (Dec 8, 2003)

Thanks everyone. I'm starting to bleed this morning. I hope it's over with quickly.


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## FMS619 (Nov 17, 2008)

Mollie,

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'll be thinking of you today, as I'm sure others will be as well. Whatever happens today will be _your_ experience--no one else's; I hope you can have an easy of a time as possible in this horribly challenging moment.

Take your time and be gentle with yourself in the coming days/months. My miscarriage was at 11 weeks, 2 days but the baby had died at 7 weeks, 2 days. We did choose to look at the baby and bury the baby in our church cemetery--each person has to decide for herself what is the right thing for them at this time.

I cried buckets of tears for a long time-months! and for me, they were tears of healing--some people write in a journal, some talk about it; for me, I cried and cried, and also read everything I could get my hands on about miscarriage and grief in general to try to understand how I was feeling. I guess I'm trying to say, tears are natural (and OK!) if the tears are flowing for you.


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## Mama~Love (Dec 8, 2003)

Oh yeah, I'm definitely crying. It's hard to do in front of the kids, but they know what's going on. The bleeding is still light, but I'm still cramping a lot, nothing too severe.


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## TheSingingSirloin (Apr 13, 2010)

I am so sorry. I just had a loss too, due in early dec. Baby stopped growing at 6 weeks. Its been so hard.


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## pauletoy (Aug 26, 2007)

Mamalove- I pray that it is over quickly and as gently as possible. The heart takes a lot longer to heal than the body. Give yourself the time and space you need. I am thinking of you today.


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## Family4Christ (Oct 4, 2007)

Mama, I'm really sorry, I know how much it hurts







. I'm so sorry you're going through this!

We were close to the same amount of weeks. I ended up laboring for 2.5 hours. The contractions were 2 mins apart and strong and painful and really got moreso right before the baby. This I did not expect and I know not everyone has that, but I wanted to warn you. I was scared, as I didn't expect that at all.


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## Mama~Love (Dec 8, 2003)

The bleeding has stopped; I didn't even soak a full pad. D&C scheduled for tomorrow.


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## mama2toomany (Oct 17, 2005)

Your in my heart, thoughts and prayers mama!


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## Emerging butterfly (May 7, 2009)

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your request to not have your baby thrown away is perfectly valid and should be honored. ((HUG))


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## Mama~Love (Dec 8, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Emerging butterfly* 
I'm so sorry for your loss. Your request to not have your baby thrown away is perfectly valid and should be honored. ((HUG))

Thank you so much. I couldn't handle the thought of that happening.


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## Mama~Love (Dec 8, 2003)

Well, I had the D&C done. Pretty traumatic, never ever want to go through that again.

The hospital was very nice. They have a spot reserved at the cemetery for miscarried babies, so that's where my baby will go. We also got a tiny gold ring I'm going to put on a gold chain & wear around my neck.

Emotionally, I'm so drained. It was a very hard day, filled with tears. DH got the tree planted in our yard in honor of the baby. We bought it yesterday. It's a silver maple. It looks lovely. I don't have any pictures yet though.

I hope I can start healing now, both physically & emotionally. Will just take it one day at a time.

Thank you so much for all of the support you all have given me. It has meant so much to me







.


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## beckyand3littlemonsters (Sep 16, 2006)




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## Milk8shake (Aug 6, 2009)

Sorry that it was a traumatic experience. As if you need anything to make the situation worse.
Be gentle with yourself mama. It takes time to recover.


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## CherryBomb (Feb 13, 2005)




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## enigo (Mar 11, 2009)




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## Mama~Love (Dec 8, 2003)

Thanks everyone. Bleeding & cramping has increased again. I'm not crying as much, but my heart still hurts.


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