# My six year old couldn't get out of the car



## dbsam (Mar 3, 2007)

We had an incident Saturday afternoon that really shook me up even though everything ended up alright. I am posting because it might benefit someone else who, like me, never imagined their six-year-old would have this problem.

My daughter was looking for yarn she purchased the day prior. I told her it was in the car and that I would unlock the car for her and she could get it. She started crying saying I needed to get it, I was busy and said 'not now', so I didn't unlock the door and she went upstairs into the playroom. (Her brother, also six, gets items out of the car for me or them all of the time - no issues.) A while later (possibly as long as an hour later) I went upstairs looking for her but couldn't find her. My husband was working outside with my son and I figured she went outside with them. I went outside to ask, she wasn't with him but I saw her stuck in the mini-van, sitting in the driver's seat yelling for us and pounding on the windshield. My husband was in the garage and passed by the van many times, he did not hear her (he had a radio on in the garage) or see her. The driver's door was unlocked but she's never been in the front seat and couldn't figure out how to open the door - she was pushing/pulling the arm rest. She knows how to open the sliding doors but they were locked and she didn't know how to unlock them. The keys were sitting on the seat next to her - I believe I left them in the car with the driver's door unlocked. It was overcast and cooler than the 90+ degree temps we've been having but she was still completely drenched with sweat. We do not know how long she was in the van. I cannot believe she went into the front seat but am so happy she did; we w/h never seen her in her seat or in the back of the van. (Unlike her brother who always begs to sit in the front, she's never had any desire to do so.)

When we found her, my son proceeded to tell her how to unlock the doors, how to open the front doors, how to honk the horn, etc. He w/h been fine but she was clueless. At first I thought this might just be her&#8230;she is 'quirky' and thought of posting this in the SN section. Then my sister put her neuro-typical almost seven yo daughter in the car and found she didn't know how to unlock the doors from inside. Like ours, her doors unlock automatically when the car is put into 'park' - the children have never had a reason to unlock the doors from inside. I believe it is a personality difference&#8230;my son wants to know how to do everything and wants to try everything, especially mechanical things. My daughter is content letting others do for her, and focuses on things she is really interested in - like art. She doesn't ask a lot of questions and doesn't like to try new things. I'm realizing there may be other things I assume she knows but her brother or we have been taking care of them for her.

We've since reinforced how to unlock and open all the doors and showed her how to honk the horn to get attention if she needs assistance.


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## laohaire (Nov 2, 2005)

Oh, I'm so sorry you all went through that, how stressful!

This is a good point - my just-shy-of-5-year-old daughter would not know how to open the car door, I don't think. She's not completely typical I guess. I will be sure to teach her how.

In fact, I did think to make a point of teaching her how to open the front door about 6 months ago... it occured to me that if she ever needed to escape (fire, whatever) she must have this knowledge. It may sound strange to think of having to teach a 4.5 year old how to open the door, but I had to. She gets regular practice since she is now in charge of letting the cat in and out.

She would not be able to unbuckle her carseat herself though







Frankly, the bottom part is a challenge for me and DH; I know she does not have a fraction of the finger strength necessary to open it. Maybe the chest clips but my few half-hearted attempts to show her how didn't go over well, and since she simply can't unbuckle the bottom I didn't pursue it too much.

I've had a few sessions showing her how to dial 911 on the phone - I emphasize that it's only for emergencies and I'm sure she understands that part. She'll physically dial the 911 and then I'll reinforce that if she were REALLY calling, she'd press the big circle button. And I let her press the big circle button by itself sometimes too (as in, not after she'd just entered 911).

Next I guess I should show her how to open the windows, and tell her that in an emergency she may kick out the screens. Of course I fervently hope that her father and I will be with her in such an emergency but the whole point is to make sure your plans AREN'T based on the best case scenerio.

Anyway, thanks for sharing, that triggered some thoughts for me. I'm sure she must be exhausted. Oh, I forgot if you mentioned, but does she now know how to honk the horn? I'll show DD this too. (ETA: Yes, I see you covered this.)


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

First, thank goodness she's okay. I'm getting chills thinking about it and I can only imagine how much worse that close shave was for you.

Second, excellent idea to teach kids who are old enough to go to the car how to use the locks (I'm not going to be teaching my two year old any time soon







she'd use them to lock me out







gotta love toddlers).


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## dex_millie (Oct 19, 2006)

wow..that sounds really scary, glad everything worked out. I am all for teaching kids to unlock things, I am always thinking of crazy situations that can happen DH, my bro and SIL thinks I am weird because of it.

It could be the type of vehicle you have to, that is more difficult. I just have a Nissan maxima and my 3 1/2 old knows how to lock and unlock it(he figured it out by wathing us) and have locked me out a few times with his little sister in there but luckily I usually have the key on me during the times it happened as kids tend to get frantic when they realize the situation they are in and they forget/can't think how to do things even they know how to do.


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## luv-my-boys (Dec 8, 2008)

another point is to teach your children how to honk the horn. Its seems so simple but really my kids didnt know how to do it nor how much pressure to place on it to make it sound off. We told them to do that in an emergency. we also taught them how to set off the panic button on the car alarm fob and how to push the onstar button (you can call them and temp. disable it where they will ignore your emergency signals for like 10 min to do so)

my reasoning was if something were to happen and the car not moving say in a parking lot or at home they could attract attention to get help.


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## StephandOwen (Jun 22, 2004)

Oh goodness. I am so glad your dd is okay. How scary for everyone.

I have a 6 year old (he'll be 7 in 2 months). I don't think he could get out of the car if he needed to







He cannot unbuckle his seat (5 point harness), but that's because we've purposely not taught him to (he has autism so there was a period where we were concerned he would be undoing the buckle while driving... he's past that stage now and is in a very safety conscious stage). I've also not taught him how to unlock/open the doors on the car (from the inside) for that same reason- don't want the car doors flying open while driving! I lock my car at all times and the keys are typically out of ds's reach/sight. We also have alarms on our doors (to the house) so if he goes out a door we know right away.

What a wake-up call. Now I have to decide what I want to teach my ds (maybe teach him how to work the horn??).


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## Belia (Dec 22, 2007)

I thought you couldn't honk the horn of modern cars while it was off, because the horn is connected to the electric system?!?

Terrifying story, OP. I can't believe your DH didn't see or hear her!!! That's amazing!


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## StephandOwen (Jun 22, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Belia* 
I thought you couldn't honk the horn of modern cars while it was off, because the horn is connected to the electric system?!?

I'm totally going to test this when I leave in 30 minutes.... but I drive a 2003 so it's not the newest car around


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## Marsupialmom (Sep 28, 2003)

How scary!!

One thing I had to do for my youngest (in this case your smaller) child is enable her. My youngest child had everything done for her and was not challenged.

I would ask her for something, if her bother jumps in to do it tell him no.

Also, if you have a car alarm many times it sets off if you try to open the door. Horn is a possibility.

Giving room for her size (I know some pettie kids) you should make her as able as possible!!!

When I was in a car accident, I couldn't get my kids out! My middle child had to get her self undone from her seat. Get her sister undone, open the door, get out while her and her brother got the youngest out and to the other side of the guard rail.

At six most kids are able to understand to keep their seat belt buckle but most (majority) should also be able to open the door, call for help, honk the horn.

My 2008 honks even if there is no key in the ignition.


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## dbsam (Mar 3, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Marsupialmom* 
One thing I had to do for my youngest (in this case your smaller) child is enable her. My youngest child had everything done for her and was not challenged.

I would ask her for something, if her bother jumps in to do it tell him no.


This has been an issue. Her twin brother often does things for her. When they were younger I found myself asking him to do things instead of her because it was easier and quicker - so I was part of the problem. Since then, I make sure he knows he doesn't need to worry about her constantly or do everything for her. I also try to make her responsible for herself (although it is an ongoing struggle).


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## DahliaRW (Apr 16, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Belia* 
I thought you couldn't honk the horn of modern cars while it was off, because the horn is connected to the electric system?!?

Terrifying story, OP. I can't believe your DH didn't see or hear her!!! That's amazing!

I drive a 2009 Sienna and the horns works fine when the car is off.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

I tested my dd on this at one point to make sure she could get out. At 8 she can, but when I tested her (not sure of the age) she couldn't, and I did have to actually teach her how to get out if she needed to.


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## emilysuek (Jul 21, 2010)

This actually happened with my youngest brother. But it was scarier for us because he was in the car which was in the garage and no one knew how he got out there. He must have been around two and between three older siblings, two dogs and a pretty busy day, we lost track of him.
Long story short, after a tear-filled and panicked search around the house, yards and woods, we found him playing contentedly in the front seat of my dad's passat. Thankfully he hadn't locked himself in, and the garage was nice and cool. But it was terrifying.
Write it down and chalk it up to one more reason our children give us grey hairs.


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## bobandjess99 (Aug 1, 2005)

I just asked my 5 yo and she acted likie it was the dumbest question in the world (ya, she's in a stage) and explained in great detail how to get out of the car, using the keys, internal locks, windows, horn, etc. I'm sure it wouldn't be an issue here. I already went over with her how to get out of the trunk using the special lever when we got the car.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bobandjess99* 
I already went over with her how to get out of the trunk using the special lever when we got the car.

One major advantage of a hatchback







Hmm, may need to borrow a friend's car to teach that one. Especially since she'll pretty much never get to have the friend's car keys so no chance of messing around with the trunk all on her own.


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## Latte Mama (Aug 25, 2009)

OP how scary, glad she's ok!

I have a feeling this may not be an issue with even my almost 2 year old







.
He's awesome with stuff like doors and locks. About 2 months ago, I thought he was asleep on the couch (well he actually was) and I snuck out the front door of my apt. to the laundry room which is literally 8 feet from my door.

I didn't close my door all the way of course. I started the machine and threw my clothes in and walked quickly back to my apt. door to find it closed and LOCKED, deadbolted actually! My 20 month old DS had managed to lock me out. Oh and he had to climb to get to the deadbolt. I could hear him through the door so I talked to him and told him that mama couldn't get in. First he was giggling but when I showed him that I couldn;t open the door, my little guy opened the deadbolt







. I was impressed!

I had to know if it was a fluke so I went in and hugged him and then grabbed my keys and tested him again. He "locked me out" and then let me in a few more times.
He's good with the car stuff too, almost too good


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## Notyet11 (Aug 13, 2008)

Several of you have mentioned that your child would not be able to unbuckled themself in an emergency and I thought I would mention what has worked for me in the past. Most older kids can unbuckled or at least push down the chest clip and reach the part where you loosen the straps. You can show them how to work that and they can lean forward to give themselves enough space to slither out. You obviously need to be pretty certain they wont try it while driving but it is an effective choice when the buckle is too hard.


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