# Convicted child molester next door! What can I do?



## adlib77 (Nov 28, 2008)

I found out today that the man who owns the auto repair place next door is a registered sex offender who was convicted of victimizing two young boys in 2000. He is a level 3 offender, meaning he is likely to re-offend. This, obviously, makes me very nervous. The likelihood of him targeting my daughters is very low, but I am still very concerned. The school's crossing guard walks the kids to the intersection, but they cross the parking lot there alone. The email I received from a police officer who was alerting parents in my neighborhood (all on the up and up - I checked the registry list, etc) indicated that the school is aware and may put more safety precautions in place.

We plan to move by October 1 and have a house lined up that is currently occupied, so we really can't move before then. Honestly, I would be trying to move sooner if I thought we could. In the meantime, we're going to speak to the kids about how to handle creepy adults, I'll be walking (possibly driving - as much as I would hate to) them to and from school, and no unsupervised playing outside. I also called the police officer who sent the email to see if there was anything I could do, but I haven't heard back yet. It looks as though he's not breaking the law by working that close to a school, he just wouldn't be allowed to live that close to a school. His house is in a different county, so he doesn't show up on the registered offenders list in our neighborhood.

I'm really bothered by this. Even though it's unlikely anything would happen, I am having a really hard time feeling ok about this person being so close to my kids. I am hoping that the neighborhood outrage will drive the business out. It's a new business - less than a year old.

Does anyone know of anything that can be done? Any suggestions? Precautions I haven't thought of?


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## D'sMama (May 4, 2008)

Wow, what a crappy situation.








I never thought about sex offenders' place of WORK before.

It sounds like you've thought of everything. Is there any way to find out more details about what he was convicted of? If it were me, and I knew the boys were family or family friends, I would feel a little safer about my own kids than if the victims were strangers off the street, kwim?

Also, do you know _what_ he was convicted of? Sex offenses are varied - could it have been something like solicitation/corruption of a minor? That would scare me a lot less than molestation, or the more violent crimes.

This may not be a popular opinion, but I also think it's important not to automatically assume that past criminals (of any crime) will commit crimes again - as disturbing as they may have been. He was convicted 9 years ago - that's a long time. People deserve second chances (well, most people). I'm not saying you shouldn't be cautious, but I certainly wouldn't treat him like a predator waiting to attack the moment your back is turned. Be aware, as you would normally, but don't live in a constant state of stress.


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## ElliesMomma (Sep 21, 2006)

i don't like giving the benefit of the doubt to someone like that... not when my kids' lives are at stake. and, with due respect to PP's opinions, having molested "only friends and families" doesn't really make stranger's kids any safer. no doubt a molester will try to "befriend" a victim before molesting.

i'm glad you are getting out of there in a couple of months. in the meantime, if there are occasions when you cannot directly supervise your kids coming or going from school, can you enlist the help of another trusted adult to escort them?

ps: i would not take it as "coincidence" that the molester has recently set up shop next door to a school. sounds like he has found a loophole in the law about where he can live, and it is to work there instead. i'd be suspicious, cautious and if possible you should spread the word to warn other parents in the meantime. make sure the teachers at school know too.


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## BookGoddess (Nov 6, 2005)

I would have a hard time giving the benefit of the doubt to someone who was convicted of sex offenses against children. That's a deal breaker for me. It's also likely that before he was caught he committed offenses against other children.
OP - Have you read Protecting The Gift by Gavin de Becker? If you haven't please get it from your library or a bookstore. Becker has wonderful advice on how to keep your children safe from predators. Becker mentions that child sex offenders victimize dozens of children before being caught.


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## basje (Jun 12, 2009)

The first think you can do it talk to your kids! This is the most important thing. Do they know how to describe their body parts? Do they know the difference between good touch and bad touch? Do they know what do if someone touches them in a way they are uncomfortable with? Teaching our kids how to be safe is the most important thing you can do to protect your children. Although you might have just found out about this convicted child molester, there are likely many more that are around your children that you don't know about. Sadly your daughters are most likely to be sexually abused by a family member or friend. Use this upsetting fact, as a reminder!

Good luck!


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## adlib77 (Nov 28, 2008)

Thanks for your replies. I will check out that book - I have heard of it quite a bit. I'm fairly confident about the kids letting me know if anything weird happens, but we will be having a conversation about boundaries, etc in general.

More detail: He raped 2 young boys. The police officer noted that he is a "befriender" - he will get to know victims before he abuses them. He isn't likely to hurt my daughters, but I am also concerned for the many children who walk through the parking lot at the intersection when walking home.

And I don't think it's coincidence. I think it's opportunistic.


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## fruitfulmomma (Jun 8, 2002)

The fact that you are even having to deal with this makes me disgusted but as far as what you can do right now as the situation stands, I would start making phone calls to the school about getting someone stationed at that place during the hours that children are going to and from school, as well as making sure all parents are alerted to the situation. ETA: If the school won't do it, I would get together with other families in the neighborhood to form a watch for the area.


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## adlib77 (Nov 28, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *D'sMama* 
This may not be a popular opinion, but I also think it's important not to automatically assume that past criminals (of any crime) will commit crimes again - as disturbing as they may have been. He was convicted 9 years ago - that's a long time. People deserve second chances (well, most people). I'm not saying you shouldn't be cautious, but I certainly wouldn't treat him like a predator waiting to attack the moment your back is turned. Be aware, as you would normally, but don't live in a constant state of stress. 









I also meant to say that I am normally this way. Really, I am. But I, unfortunately, have some insight into how pedophiles click. My brother in law was molested by a teacher who had repeatedly victimized boys over the many years he taught junior high. My ex husband's uncle is currently in prison - and will be for the rest of his life - for repeated victimization of young boys. The unfortunate truth about it is that they were most likely victimized themselves and are very very very unlikely to get better. Also, most people who are TRYING to get better will distance themselves as much as they can from the opportunity to offend again. It seems as though this man is not doing that - which concerns me very much.

But, I'll be very vigilant. And talk to the kids. And talk to the people in the community and the school.


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## AAK (Aug 12, 2004)

You mentioned that a crossing guard helps them across the street but that the kids go through that parking lot without an adult. Rather than walking/driving kids to school everyday, perhaps parents in the neighborhood could rotate on days to meet kids at the crossing guard drop off point. That way no one's child is walking through that parking lot. Also, if you had five parents, one can do Monday, one Tuesday, etc etc.

I would do what I needed to keep my kids safe, but at the same time crossing that lot in a group is safer than alone. I wouldn't want to be the only one in the neighborhood who actually couldn't meet my child and end up with him walking by himself by the guy. I am sure many parents are concerned, I really think that a group approach is best because no one will have their child walking by themselves.

I know that you are moving soon and may not want to organize something like that, but perhaps put the idea in another parent's head.

Amy


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## Porcelain Interior (Feb 8, 2008)

The truth is you're lucky you know who and where he is.

Wherever you move there is going to be pedophiles. They aren't rare. They are everywhere, and there are more that have never even been caught than there are findable convicted ones.

They say they molest 100s before they are ever even caught. Usually someone they form a relationship to.

Snatchings and such are much much more rarer.

If you wouldn't leave your child outside unsupervised at your current residence, you really shouldn't feel safe doing it in any neighborhood. These people are everywhere.

I walk my kids to school.


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## LionTigerBear (Jan 13, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Porcelain Interior* 
The truth is you're lucky you know who and where he is.

Wherever you move there is going to be pedophiles. They aren't rare. They are everywhere, and there are more that have never even been caught than there are findable convicted ones.

They say they molest 100s before they are ever even caught. Usually someone they form a relationship to.

Snatchings and such are much much more rarer.

If you wouldn't leave your child outside unsupervised at your current residence, you really shouldn't feel safe doing it in any neighborhood. These people are everywhere.

I walk my kids to school.

This is SO worth repeating. I agree 100%.


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## ColoradoHELLP (Jun 7, 2009)

He raped two youngs boys and he is OUT milling about in our society? UNREAL. I am about to go on a crazy rant about our justice system. HOLY COW!

First off, I agree 110% with one of the PPs about alerting EVERYONE at the school. Molesters have lost ANY RIGHT to privacy the instant they touch a kid.

OK, back to the task at hand.

Do you have dogs? I would highly suggest getting a medium to large dog or two at bare minimum. It might not be popular opinion, but at least you would:

a) "show" him you have a first line of defense, even if the dog isn't necessarily defensive

b) have an alert should anyone enter your home

c) if the children really like the pooch and the pooch is constantly interacting with them, there would always be something between this schmuck and the kiddos, physically speaking

I live in Colorado and I have several dogs that would fit the bill. I am totally serious when I say that if you'd like to borrow one until you get the chance to move, we'll find a way to get her to you!

Freaking scumbags.


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## jennpn (Jul 30, 2009)

In a perfect world were I got to fullfill my own sense of justice I would march right in to his business WITH my children and say "I know who you are, now you know who my children are. If you so much as look at them again outside this moment you will never piss the same way again". BUT since I can't...I would move asap and be hypervigilant in the meantime. I think pp are on the mark where you need to make sure you speak candidly to your children as well.


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## alllyssa (Sep 1, 2004)

I didn't read thru the whole thread, just the OP. I would be very specific with my kids about THIS person. Show them his picture. Make sure they know that he is never to talk or come up to them for any reason. If he does - they are to scream, run, etc.

Also, I would make sure that my kids were supervised at all times outdoors. I'd be walking to school to pick them up so they weren't crossing near this sex offenders place of work alone. I'd be discussing this with my neighbors so that we were all on heightened alert and watching out for eachother's kids.


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## momo7 (Apr 10, 2005)

Ummm.... NO way does this guy even remotely goet the benifit of the doubt. Raping little boys? No way..nuh huh....







: Get a dog......get a body guard....tell the school....tell everybody and then stand out in front of his business with a sign telling EVERYBODY this guy is a convicted pedophile. EVERY parent should know what this guy is all about! NO FREAKING WAY should this guy even remotely get a second chance with a child.

I can't even believe this guy is out of jail!


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## VisionaryMom (Feb 20, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alllyssa* 
I didn't read thru the whole thread, just the OP. I would be very specific with my kids about THIS person. Show them his picture. Make sure they know that he is never to talk or come up to them for any reason. If he does - they are to scream, run, etc.

This. I know there is some controvery among parents about speaking candidly to children about these things. My MIL and I disagree on this because she feels children "should be innocent" and so we should say things like "be careful" or "watch out" without being specific. As a sex abuse survivor, I don't. I believe we owe it to our children to be as straightforward as necessary to make them understand how to protect themselves. I would have no problem pointing out specific people I knew were sex offenders who lived/worked in places my children frequent, even understanding the high likelihood that we know others who are uncaught offenders.


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## adlib77 (Nov 28, 2008)

Sigh. I'm honestly not sure what the best course of action is on that end. I'm thinking I'll tell them about him, but let them know that I'm here to keep them safe and will be walking them to school, etc. I worry that they'll feel unsafe in their home, though. I have a couple of worriers and it will likely interfere with their sleep and their sense of security. My 8 year old, in particular, will be very upset until we move if I tell her what's going on. I am worried that they will hear about it from someone at school, though, and that would be worse.

As far as the community goes, though, I may make up flyers with his picture and distribute them, as well as put one in the mailbox at the repair station to let him know we know who he is. Honestly, I want him out of business and away from my neighborhood.

I know there are offenders everywhere, but I know where this one is and I know he's near a school and I feel like I need to do something about it.


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