# Is it rude to let my kids play in the neighbour's yard?



## wookie (Dec 12, 2008)

I'm asking for opinions because it wouldn't be a big deal to me if the situation was reversed.

Our neighbours have installed a big swing set in their backyard. Their yard, our yard and our neighbours on the other side's yard are all one big stretch of land w/o fencing or any other clear demarcation. When this neighbour was builiding his swing he mentioned in chitchat that our kids are welcome to play on it. His kids are 2yo and a newborn. The swing is way too big for them to enjoy so they only rarely use it (of course they'll use it more and more as their kids gets older). So now that the weather is nice my kids (4yo and 13mo) ask to play on it sometimes. If the neighbours are out we always ask them if it's okay. If I see their daughter playing on there I don't let my ds1 use it so as not to hamper their time (the kids aren't friends or anything owing to difference in ages). But if they aren't there in the backyard, or maybe even home, what's the etiquette? Can I let ds1 play on the set? I have a couple of times already but can't shake a niggling feeling.

OTOH, it's just a swing set so not like it'll wear down or anything. OTOH, it *is* their property. Since I wouldn't have problems with young kids playing in my yard if I had something enticing (as long as I don't have to be responsible for them), please give me your opinion.


----------



## KimberlyD0 (Mar 8, 2009)

I would suggest talking to your neighbor. Some people would be fine with it, and some would be really angry.

So to protect yourself from future hassles you can just make things easy for you all and just ask them.

The worst they could say is no, but at least you would know.

we wouldn't want someone elses children playing on our kids equitment if we're not home. I would be worried if someone got hurt. This is a sue happy time we live in and I would be afread of being sued over an accident on my property, where technically speaking it is my responsibility.


----------



## isign (Jan 17, 2008)

I wouldn't play on it without asking permission each time. If the owner said it was ok to play when they weren't out, then I would go ahead. Why aren't your kids friends with theirs? I know there's an age difference, but they could still start a friendship. I'd be less inclined to let someone play with my kids' things if they weren't friend.

Sorry it's all jumbled, it's early


----------



## madskye (Feb 20, 2006)

Yes, it's probably fine, but I would just ask them if they'd like to lay any "groundrules" for the set. Like, don't let the kids go in their yard before 10 am and after 8pm. Or don't stand up in the swing...our neighbors have a swingset with an open door policy too, and I believe her when she says she really wants the neighborhood kids over to use it anytime, but I also think it's good to suggest to them that they might need to set some limits proactively, so they don't feel overrun or like they've lost privacy.


----------



## Joyster (Oct 26, 2007)

I'm another one for just having a chit chat with the neighbours about it. Chances are they'll say it's fine, but give them the opportunity to do so.


----------



## wookie (Dec 12, 2008)

Thank you. Like I said, the couple times we've talked about it (once when they were installing it and another time when they were out) they have explicitly said "oh, it's fine, he can play". but they haven't said, "oh he can play anytime" ykwim? asking them every time would mean ringing their doorbell every time since we rarely see them out.

pp, the kids aren't friends cuz 1) the parents are not out very often, understandably with a newborn and 2) my ds is 4.5, their dd is not-yet 2, likely pre-verbal. they just don't have anything in common.


----------



## newbymom05 (Aug 13, 2005)

What a nice neighbor! I wonder if he's going to regret that invite, lol. Not to you, of course; you're obviously considerate and polite. But other kids...? Anyway, for me personally, I'd like someone to ask first, only b/c if my 2 y/o saw kids in his yard he'd want to play, and I'm not always able to supervise.

If I were you, I'd tell my kids that they could only go over and ask to play if the other family were out/on it, but that's obviously moot since you're saying the kids are too young to even use it.


----------



## sebandg'smama (Oct 29, 2005)

Have you thought about installing your own swing set?

My dh didn't want to put one in, I finally convinced him and it is the most used piece of equipment we have for my 5 year old (we put it in 2 years ago). Even my ds (11) will sit and swing while hanging out with his friends.

-Melanie


----------



## ollyoxenfree (Jun 11, 2009)

I would talk to the neighbour first and clarify their wishes and ground rules.

I would also talk to your children and clearly explain those groud rules, and also a few of your own. For example, even if the neighbour says "anytime", if you expect them to ask you first, or to wait until you can go with them. Also, explain that there may be times when they aren't welcome - during their baby's naptime, or if the neighbour's are entertaining, etc.


----------



## HollyBearsMom (May 13, 2002)

There are liability issues associated with using someone elses play structure. If I was the neighbor I would want know that you were using it on a regular basis when I was not home.

What would happen if the swing broke and your child was hurt? If the neighbor didn't maintain it and something else happened? The neighbor could be held responsible.

I only know this because we have friends in the insurance biz and they warned us when we put up a play structure. They actually reccomended we get our neighbors to sign a waver but that was too extreme for us, lol. We just told our neighbors to ask before using.


----------



## NYCVeg (Jan 31, 2005)

We also live an area with open yards. We don't allow dd to play on the neighbor's swing set when her friend is not around. (I just feel weird about it honestly--because the parents/older kids are often going in and out of the house, and I feel awkward playing in their yard w/o their kid).

My opinion on this would also depend on the age of the kids/the size of the playset. For example, if I had a toddler set for dd, I might not like the older kids in the neighborhood playing on it all the time, because it wouldn't be designed for that kind of use. Nor, if I had a set designed for much older kids, would I necessarily want toddlers playing on it without me around, because of the risk of injury.

In any case, I would just talk to the neighbor about ground rules.


----------



## Ornery (May 21, 2007)

I wouldn't feel comfortable with my children playing in someone else's yard on their play structure if I wasn't friends with them or my children weren't friends with their children. I might do it once in a great while, and would ask each and every time, but otherwise it would feel way too weird.


----------



## One_Girl (Feb 8, 2008)

I agree that you need to talk to the neighbor, especially if you only have an open area because your homeowners association agreement forbids fencing. I wouldn't want a kid in my yard when we aren't home and I especially wouldn't want them on a swing set that they could get hurt on. They may feel differently about it though.


----------



## childsplay (Sep 4, 2007)

Although your neighbor said it's fine, that he can play, he may feel a lot different if/when your DS falls and hurts himself/wakes their newborn/etc. (not saying that will definately happen but it's a strong possibility)

If I were you I'd install my own swingset and leave it at that.


----------



## ananas (Jun 6, 2006)

I would just get specific permission. Something like, "Hey, (daughter) begs to go play on the set sometimes, do you mind if we use it when you're not home, or should we wait until you're back and run it by you first?"

If they were home, I would just always ask. I'd feel strange about playing in their yard with them inside.


----------



## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

Next time you ask to use it, just gently ask how they feel about your kids using it if they aren't available out there to ask. I personally would be fine with it. And we have neighbors who intentionally put a play structure up near the meeting point of a few yards because they wanted it to be easily accessible to lots of kids whenever they wanted to use it, as kind of a gathering spot. But I do know people IRL who would not be comfortable with it as well. The only way to know is to ask.


----------



## Smidge (Aug 29, 2007)

I wouldn't do it but maybe that's b/c I wouldn't want the neighbor kids in my backyard playing either. If you want something for your kids to play on, than I suggest buying something.

I would hate for any child to be hurt on someone's else property.


----------



## EviesMom (Nov 30, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamazee* 
Next time you ask to use it, just gently ask how they feel about your kids using it if they aren't available out there to ask. I personally would be fine with it. And we have neighbors who intentionally put a play structure up near the meeting point of a few yards because they wanted it to be easily accessible to lots of kids whenever they wanted to use it, as kind of a gathering spot. But I do know people IRL who would not be comfortable with it as well. The only way to know is to ask.

Yup, this. Just ask once if it's okay when they're not out there, mention that you don't want to wake the baby during naptime, whatever. They can let you know their timing restrictions. And I think this goes without saying, but if your child gets injured in any way on their equipment, don't even think about asking for medical costs or such, IMO. This is also why I would be cautious about who I'd share backyard toys with, but if you're all friendly and reasonable, then it could be great. 2 years won't seem like as big a difference when all the children are older, honestly.


----------



## candipooh (Jun 22, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Smidge* 
I wouldn't do it but maybe that's b/c I wouldn't want the neighbor kids in my backyard playing either. If you want something for your kids to play on, than I suggest buying something.

I would hate for any child to be hurt on someone's else property.


totally OT but I love your user name. My youngest dd's nick-name is smidge. (realy name is Sage)


----------



## lab (Jun 11, 2003)

Yes it's rude.... Just dig up some of those old threads where the poster is lamenting about their poor 2 year old inside trying to nap while the neighbor's kids are playing on the swing uninvited.

I have an image of the poor mom inside rocking a fussy newborn while the 2 year old begs to go outside. She can't go outside with the fussy newborn and her kid is watching your kid play on the equipment.









Not to mention the liability of your kid on her property while she isn't even outside.

Sorry to shoot you down....... I know it's hard to keep your 4 year old off the swing. I bet your 4 year old is begging hard to go over too!

eta - I also remembered the threads where the poor kids can't go out and play because EVERY time they go out - here come the neighborhood kids running over.


----------



## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

I wouldn't allow it, and I wouldn't want other kids in my yard either. But, I'd probably also have a fence.

Things are very different where I live. Everybody has a six foot block wall. They don't even build a house without a block wall. So, it would be pretty obnoxious to go in someone elses yard. I have no idea what it's like when all the yards run together.


----------



## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

My almost 2yo would love to play with a 4yo and 13month old.

ETA: In fact, that's just what she did at the cookout yesterday. They each had a truck and pushed them around. The 4yo helped dd up and down the porch steps, dd told anyone who would listen that the 13 month old was a "baby!". They all walked/ran after balls. The 4 yo "caught" dd's attempts at throwing and showed her how to roll the ball to his little brother.


----------



## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lab* 
Yes it's rude.... Just dig up some of those old threads where the poster is lamenting about their poor 2 year old inside trying to nap while the neighbor's kids are playing on the swing uninvited.

I have an image of the poor mom inside rocking a fussy newborn while the 2 year old begs to go outside. She can't go outside with the fussy newborn and her kid is watching your kid play on the equipment.









All the more reason to talk to the neighbors. "And if you wanted some alone time with your newborn, I can watch all three kids out in our yards."

ETA: and if you don't see them outside much because of the newborn, I'd bet the offer would be even more welcome.


----------



## cschick (Aug 28, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *EviesMom* 
but if your child gets injured in any way on their equipment, don't even think about asking for medical costs or such, IMO. This is also why I would be cautious about who I'd share backyard toys with, but if you're all friendly and reasonable, then it could be great. 2 years won't seem like as big a difference when all the children are older, honestly.

If you have medical insurance, you've basically signed away your rights as to who they will sue "on your behalf" if they conclude that there is another responsible party (here, your neighbor's homeowners insurance) involved.

Every time we've had an injury that could have possibly had another responsible party, our medical insurance company has called a few weeks later and demanded full details on where the injury took place.


----------



## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

All over the place around here there are groups of 4 houses with 4 play yards. I guess it's better that it's a fear of litigation that caused the rampant over consumption of resources and not disgusting selfishness, but it's still sad.

Maybe you'll talk to the neighbors and decide to build your own anyway, but I think it'd be horrible not to at least talk to them first. Slip a note under the door. "Hi, this is wookie from next door, I don't want to wake the baby, so would you give me a call at ###-#### when you're free for a chat?"

(ETA: And even in the cases of "kid looking out the window at other kids playing, all the houses can see all the play equipment where I'm thinking of.)


----------



## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

Unless we were good friends, and our kids played together regularly - no, I wouldn't be comfortable with my kids playing on the neighbors swingset. I'd take them to the park, or put up our own swings.


----------



## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cschick* 
If you have medical insurance, you've basically signed away your rights as to who they will sue "on your behalf" if they conclude that there is another responsible party (here, your neighbor's homeowners insurance) involved.

Every time we've had an injury that could have possibly had another responsible party, our medical insurance company has called a few weeks later and demanded full details on where the injury took place.

Ewww. Would a waiver prevent that? Because even though on one level it feels unfriendly, on another level it'd be protecting basic good relations from the insurance company.


----------



## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

Wow. This thread is really sad to me. We wanted to live in a neighborhood so our kids could run around and play with the neighborhood kids, in our yard and in other yards. I can't imagine worrying about this kind of thing, and I'm thankful none of our neighbors seem to worry about it.


----------



## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

Also, we had a case last summer of one kid breaking her arm falling off monkey bars on someone else's swingset, and no one got sued. That certainly isn't something that happens universally. It wouldn't even occur to me to tell the hospital whose yard my dd was in when she broke her arm. I'd say she was outside playing and fell and needs her arm looked at.


----------



## gcgirl (Apr 3, 2007)

I don't see the harm in asking for blanket permission. Just ask! That seems the obvious thing to do, anyway.


----------



## cschick (Aug 28, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
Ewww. Would a waiver prevent that? Because even though on one level it feels unfriendly, on another level it'd be protecting basic good relations from the insurance company.

That's a question you'd have to ask a lawyer. It's probably not going to stop your medical insurance from trying be reimbursed from their homeowner's insurance, but might change the result.

But insurance companies trying to pass along liability to other insurance companies/other people is kind of a fact of life. It happens in all sorts of situations.


----------



## txbikegrrl (Jul 20, 2006)

When DS broke his leg the insurance company sent a long form asking for all kinds of details about the incident. He fell on/off a slide in a park I described as a "city park" but really now that I think about it my friend we visited lives in one of those "master planned communities" and it was one of their parks. A public park though. I guess if it was in a back yard they (health insurance company) might have asked for even more info?!?


----------



## Artichokie (Jun 19, 2007)

i personally think it is very rude to trespass especially if you weren't really involved in eachother's lives before the swing set went up.


----------



## cschick (Aug 28, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *txbikegrrl* 
When DS broke his leg the insurance company sent a long form asking for all kinds of details about the incident. He fell on/off a slide in a park I described as a "city park" but really now that I think about it my friend we visited lives in one of those "master planned communities" and it was one of their parks. A public park though. I guess if it was in a back yard they (health insurance company) might have asked for even more info?!?

I live in a community with an HOA (not a gated community or anything, just a small neighborhood), and our HOA has to carry liability insurance because they/we can be held responsible for injuries in our common areas or park.

Although, I think they're more fearful about injury in our ponds. We're required to have ponds (they are storm water retention areas), the ponds are required to met certain regulations to be healthy ponds, but the regulations that make them healthy ponds also make them dangerous ponds. They're pretty deep, a kid could easily drown in them, and our 60-home subdivision has three large retention ponds.


----------



## mbhf (Jan 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lab* 
Yes it's rude.... Just dig up some of those old threads where the poster is lamenting about their poor 2 year old inside trying to nap while the neighbor's kids are playing on the swing uninvited.

I have an image of the poor mom inside rocking a fussy newborn while the 2 year old begs to go outside. She can't go outside with the fussy newborn and her kid is watching your kid play on the equipment.









Not to mention the liability of your kid on her property while she isn't even outside.

Sorry to shoot you down....... I know it's hard to keep your 4 year old off the swing. I bet your 4 year old is begging hard to go over too!

eta - I also remembered the threads where the poor kids can't go out and play because EVERY time they go out - here come the neighborhood kids running over.

Yeah, this. It's their swing set and it's really not any different from say, using the neighbor's grill because you don't have one, you know? Having someone over to your house (And your yard is included in this of course) is a lot of fun for most people, but not all of the time. Sometimes I want to go out back and invite the neighbor and her kids over, but sometimes I just want to watch my kids dig in the dirt and blow bubbles. Just like sometimes I want to have the kids friends over, but sometimes I just want to sit on the couch and read a book while my kids play quietly.


----------



## pacificbliss (Jun 17, 2006)

I would just chat with the neighbor when you can. It might have been one of those comments just said to be nice or he might have meant that your kids are welcome anytime. I would get clarification and then see what rules they want, specific hours, only when they are home etc. My guess is they want to have the yard all the kids play in and are setting the precedent now. I agree that you might offer to supervise all the kids so they can have some time with the baby. I would also make sure you have the conversation with both parents together in case he wants he yard with all the kids and she wants some quiet.


----------



## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *txbikegrrl* 
When DS broke his leg the insurance company sent a long form asking for all kinds of details about the incident. He fell on/off a slide in a park I described as a "city park" but really now that I think about it my friend we visited lives in one of those "master planned communities" and it was one of their parks. A public park though. I guess if it was in a back yard they (health insurance company) might have asked for even more info?!?

Ya know. I forgot about that. One of our church friends were visiting a family member and all the kids were on the trampoline. Church friend's daughter had a serious injury while jumping. They went to the hospital, she had surgery, a few weeks later, they got a phone call asking for details of the accident. Then the insurance company went after the family member's homeowner's insurance and made the family's insurance reimburse the church member's health insurance.

It made for some very uncomfortable family reunions for a few years after that.


----------



## chiefmir (Apr 16, 2010)

If I were the swing set owner, I might have made a vague friendly general invitation and then later regretted it as the reality of having a swingset sunk in. It could be very frustrating to have kids playing outside when wanting/needing to keep my own kiddos inside for some reason...or having a playdate over with another family and neighbor kids coming over when the gathering was not intended for the. I would always ask the family first, because if the kids go over and ask, it might be hard for the mom to politely decline sometimes.


----------



## waiting2bemommy (Dec 2, 2007)

man, this is depressing to read! In this neighborhood, nothing is sacred, even toys that obviously belong to one person. I kind of like it though because while it might aggravate me that child x is ringing my doorbell 16,000 times a day and playing in my yard making a mess when I'm not even out there







, I like the fact that no one will bat an eye if MY ds grabs someone else's stuff and starts playing with it. Other people's toys are always more fun!


----------



## tanyam926 (May 25, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamazee* 
Wow. This thread is really sad to me. We wanted to live in a neighborhood so our kids could run around and play with the neighborhood kids, in our yard and in other yards. I can't imagine worrying about this kind of thing, and I'm thankful none of our neighbors seem to worry about it.


That is really great that you feel this way and if you can live in a neighborhood w/like minded neighbors, but not everyone likes to be around other people's kids all the time and that's okay. We all have different personalities and I would hope that I wouldn't be judged by my neighbors bc I don't want to "babysit" all the neighbor kids.

Op, I think it depends on the individual situation, talk to the parents about what specific times the playset is open for guests. Some people really don't mind other kids in their yard all day, every day. Other people would be outraged. I don't think there is a right or wrong answer in this case so it's best to clarify w/the neighbors.


----------



## CarrieMF (Mar 7, 2004)

Quote:

I have a couple of times already but can't shake a niggling feeling
You answered your own question. You don't feel right about it, I'd only play on it when they're around for you to ask.


----------



## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MoreThanApplesauce* 
i personally think it is very rude to trespass especially if you weren't really involved in eachother's lives before the swing set went up.

If the neighbor's eldest child is about to turn 2, maybe inviting the OP's kids to use the swing set was an attempt to start giving the kids a chance to spend some time together.

I find it really weird that this thread is divided between "no don't do it ever" and "maybe, you should ask your neighbors."


----------



## EviesMom (Nov 30, 2004)

On the health insurance company thing... well, this is why many people have homeowners and liability insurance.

If you're in a situation where you have an injury that doesn't *require* major care, or if your insurance company is a good one that doesn't try to get out of everything, then it's bad form IMO to sue when your neighbor was being friendly to let you play there. I have heard of people (other than insurance company nonsense) suing for ridiculous things like their child getting injured in normal childhood play on another's property.


----------



## Artichokie (Jun 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
If the neighbor's eldest child is about to turn 2, maybe inviting the OP's kids to use the swing set was an attempt to start giving the kids a chance to spend some time together.

I find it really weird that this thread is divided between "no don't do it ever" and "maybe, you should ask your neighbors."


Yes, but that is not occurring if the op is going over there when the neighbors aren't outside and/or not even home. As I read it, she isn't describing a situation in which the neighbors are outside or even in which she knocks on their door asking if the kids can play together. That is not in any way giving the kids a chance to play together.


----------



## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

I would feel weird playing in our neighbor's yard if they weren't home, even if they had said it was ok.

What I would probably do is try to make more of an effort to hang out with the other mom and to let the kids play together.


----------



## cschick (Aug 28, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *EviesMom* 
On the health insurance company thing... well, this is why many people have homeowners and liability insurance.

If you're in a situation where you have an injury that doesn't *require* major care, or if your insurance company is a good one that doesn't try to get out of everything, then it's bad form IMO to sue when your neighbor was being friendly to let you play there. I have heard of people (other than insurance company nonsense) suing for ridiculous things like their child getting injured in normal childhood play on another's property.

Right. But that's why saying "well, as long as you're not going to sue or something if your kid gets hurt" is kind of nonsense. Getting sued--whether by your neighbor directly or your neighbor's insurance company, is part of life and part of why you have homeowner's insurance. In some states, you wouldn't even be aware of whether it was your neighbor or their insurance company suing you (without talking to your neighbor directly and actually believing them), because the "in their name" literally means "in their name"--even if the insurance company is the one suing, sometimes/in some states the court documents are going to be filed in the name of the insured and may not even have the insurance company's name on them.

That's why I have to laugh when you see insurance companies on the side of tort reform--they're driving a lot of the approaching-on-nonsense lawsuits to begin with. But they are allowed to hide that it is them, in some places.

I let kids in in my yard. If they get hurt, I understand there's a decent chance there's going to be some type of claim or suit against my homeowner's insurance. That's part of life, in the US, today. But some people haven't accepted that is part of life . . . only let your kids play there, if you're willing to accept that your kid getting injured there may result in some sort of neighborly grudge.


----------



## TulsiLeaf (Nov 23, 2009)

well, i figure this.

Do you want to be friends, or just use the swing set?


----------



## Owen'nZoe (Sep 7, 2005)

We have a similar situation, only our neighbor does not have children. She has a playset in her backyard for her grandchildren, whom she used to care for during the day, but who are seldom there now. She's told my children they can use the set whenever they want. We've spoken to her about putting limits on when and how often, but she was hesitant to do so.

Instead, I've told the children that they may go over once a week max, and we've had great talks about not wearing out our welcome. I have them bring her a fresh bouquet of flowers every once in a while from the yard as a thank you. And I've told the neighbor to please feel free to ask them to leave if they're making too much noise or she just doesn't want them there, that we'd totally understand.

So far, it is working out well. I think with good communication, it's a great arrangement. We do have a sandbox that I've offered up to her grandkids, as well, but to my knowledge, they've only come over when we're out in the yard.


----------



## chel (Jul 24, 2004)

i've lived in places where is wasn't a big deal.
one person has a neighbor that had grandparents living next door. the playground in their backyard was available for the neighborhood kids.

at my last home, we had no fences and while we both had a playset, mine was very basic. i also had a concrete basketball pad.
while i would never let my dd play on their stuff, more that i wanted to be able to see my dd at all times. while my dd was at school the neighbours were more than welcomed to play. they would often use the concrete pad to bike or chalk on.

my biggest issue would be respecting meal and nap times.

as for age differences, my dd was 8 and the other family was 5 and 2. so even a large age gap can still be friends


----------



## new2this (Feb 11, 2010)

I am not sure I really understand what the problem is. They already said you could use it right? So ask again to see if the offer still stands and be done with it.

Open yards, swing set just being a swing set all are moot points. It is someone else property and unless I invited someone to use our stuff whenever then no I would not like them using it.

I understand the insurance thing and all as well.


----------



## biophdmom (Feb 24, 2010)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Owen'nZoe* 
We have a similar situation, only our neighbor does not have children. She has a playset in her backyard for her grandchildren, whom she used to care for during the day, but who are seldom there now. She's told my children they can use the set whenever they want. We've spoken to her about putting limits on when and how often, but she was hesitant to do so.

Instead, I've told the children that they may go over once a week max, and we've had great talks about not wearing out our welcome. I have them bring her a fresh bouquet of flowers every once in a while from the yard as a thank you. And I've told the neighbor to please feel free to ask them to leave if they're making too much noise or she just doesn't want them there, that we'd totally understand.

So far, it is working out well. I think with good communication, it's a great arrangement. We do have a sandbox that I've offered up to her grandkids, as well, but to my knowledge, they've only come over when we're out in the yard.

this. maybe have a policy of letting them play every 3rd or 4th time you guys think of it. also, definitely check with them to make sure it is okay when they are not home. and maybe return the favor by inviting the two year old to play. their age differences (esp. given you've got the younger one) are not such a big deal. my two year old plays well with many different ages! Have them play hide and seek or tag. i guarantee they'll have fun together!!


----------



## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MoreThanApplesauce* 
Yes, but that is not occurring if the op is going over there when the neighbors aren't outside and/or not even home. As I read it, she isn't describing a situation in which the neighbors are outside or even in which she knocks on their door asking if the kids can play together. That is not in any way giving the kids a chance to play together.

Right now with a new born in the house that's how things are. Next year, heck next month, things'll be different.

You'll also note that up thread I suggested that the OP offer to watch the 2 year old in the yard on occasion. Give the 2 year old more time outside and give the neighbor a chance to take a bit of a break with the new baby.

Talking to the neighbors will go a lot farther towards letting the kids play together than not talking to the neighbors.


----------

