# Hysterical conversation between my friend and her kids about sex



## MotherEden (Dec 18, 2004)

I copied this from her blog because I thought it was too funny.
"M" is the mom, "J" is the 4 year old son, and "R" is the 7 year old daughter

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R: Umm, you know how you said the guy has the sperm and the girl has the egg?

M: Yes

R: Well, and umm..the guy had a penis and the girl a gina?

M: Vagina, yes

J: I have a penis because I'm a BOY! (Here he pulls he pants down to prove it.)

M: Jarod, dinner isn't exactly the best time to remove clothing.

J: But I have a penis

M: We all know, thank you.

R: Jarod, I'm trying to talk. Go wash your hands. You can't eat after you touch your penis.

J: I didn't PEE, I just showed it a little.

R: There's still germs

J: No, germs are in the pee. MY penis is clean.

M: Okey dokey&#8230;.lets just eat ok?

R: Well, I know that you told me one time that people sex and that's how the sperm gets to the egg but umm&#8230;I was just wondering if you and daddy sex?

M: Yes

R: But you don't want more babies right now, so why?

M: Ummm&#8230;well&#8230;.because it's also a connection that couples enjoy.

R: Does it feel good because in movies when people sex they look happy.

M; Aaaa&#8230;.ummm&#8230;yes it can be very pleasurable.

R: Why?

M: Because our genitals have sensitive nerve endings that feel good when they are aroused is one reason.

R: Oh, well how many times do you sex?

M: Well, that's kinda private.

R: Can I watch sometime?

J: I wanna watch you and daddy axe!

R: Not axe dummy, SEX. You want to watch them sex!

J: What's sex?

R: It's when the sperm tries to go to the egg and if the egg is there it makes a baby but if the egg is not there is comes out all bloody and mommy wears a big band aid in her panties.

J: I want to have an egg.

R: You can't, you have the sperm. I have the egg.

J: I want the egg! I want the egg! Momma tell her I can have the egg.

M: Why do you want the egg?

J: I want the baby in my belly, like in your books.

M: Well, I don't know what to tell you sweetie. Maybe when you're older it will be possible.

J: Can I milk it to?

M: What?

J: My baby? Can I give it my milk?

M: Umm&#8230;suuure.

R: Mom? Sometimes at night I go to the bathroom and your door is closed and you have your music up really loud but I can still hear you making noises. Is that when you sex daddy.

M: Oh my god&#8230;.

R: Yeah, sometimes I hear you say that when I'm in the bathroom.

M: :At loss for words:

J: Can I sex daddy too?

M: * Deep Breath* Ok, Rebecca daddy and I listen to music a lot while we do a lot of things&#8230;talk, read, play board games and stuff. It doesn't mean we are necessary having sex. And Jarod it's not a good idea to have sex with someone you are related too. Now, who wants dessert? I think we should make ice cream.

R & J: Woohooo, I love ice cream!


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## mthomas (Mar 20, 2004)

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## Ahimsa (Apr 7, 2004)




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## Bookworm (Oct 6, 2004)

Oh, my word. Am I going to be able to hack parenthood?


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## emblmrgrl (Jul 21, 2004)

Rotflmao!!!


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## babybugmama (Apr 7, 2003)

Holey Moley....poor woman! she handled it with aplomb!!!


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## runes (Aug 5, 2004)

too funny! thanks for posting that!


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## broodymama (May 3, 2004)

oh my, what I have to look forward to!
:LOL


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## Foobar (Dec 15, 2002)

OMG! THat is just too funny!
SNORK!


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## crunchymamatobe (Jul 8, 2004)

Maybe your friend's kids can come over and clean up the water I just spewed all over my keyboard?


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## annethcz (Apr 1, 2004)

I totally needed a laugh. Thank you so much for posting that.

I've had similar converstations, but nothing on that scale *yet*


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

So glad that was her and not me!!


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## Ann-Marita (Sep 20, 2003)

Oh! Oh! :LOL





















:


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## coleslaw (Nov 11, 2002)

I just had dental work and really needed a good laugh. Thanks for sharing!
I can imagine having this conversation someday soon (hopefully not too soon!)


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## Book Addict Jen (Mar 1, 2004)

:LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL


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## Soulshinepapa (Aug 24, 2004)




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## Illuviel (Jul 4, 2004)

How freakin' funny! And nicely handled on Mama's part, too.


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## nova22 (Jun 26, 2004)

Oh my goodness! That is one awesome woman - what a conversation :LOL


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## Irishmommy (Nov 19, 2001)

:LOL That is hysterical.


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## shishkeberry (Sep 24, 2004)

oh goodness!


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## charmarty (Jan 27, 2002)

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OH MY!! THAT woman desrves the most patient mother of the year award!!!!!!

"can I watch you sex?"







:


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## chfriend (Aug 29, 2002)

You're gonna mess me up at work if you keep posting stuff that funny


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## littleteapot (Sep 18, 2003)

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That was HYSTERICAL! There's no way I could have permission to send that to a few friends who would find it equally funny, is there?







:


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## UnschoolnMa (Jun 14, 2004)

What a fantastic conversation, and good for mom!! Too cute


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## ~Megan~ (Nov 7, 2002)

:LOL

That is the funniest thing I've read in a long time.


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## iris0110 (Aug 26, 2003)

"I wanna watch you axe" OH that is too good. I was really needing a good laugh today :LOL :LOL


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

And THAT'S why we tell our kids we found them in the garden (just kidding!)
Annette


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## khrisday (Mar 18, 2002)

Thanks you *so* much for posting that!


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## Oregonicmama (Aug 13, 2002)

what a good mama! love it! lol


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## Jordansmommy (May 26, 2004)

Dear GOD that was hilarious!!!








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## Meiri (Aug 31, 2002)

That was hilarious.







: :LOL







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Just wait until they're teenagers!


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## Ligmom (Nov 24, 2001)

omg!!!! that was hilarious














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:LOL :LOL :LOL


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## mommy2boys (Dec 31, 2002)

thanks for posting that I needed a good laugh


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## Danae (Jan 18, 2005)

Too Funny!


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## sweetest (May 6, 2004)

:

Thanks for sharing!


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## mirlee (Jul 30, 2002)

: Too much!!!!


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## Jessica36 (Oct 14, 2003)

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: OMG that is awesome! I LOVE it!


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## guerrillamama (Oct 27, 2003)

OMG







: Someone give that woman a medal.


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## meco (Mar 1, 2004)

Oh my that is too funny







: I would die. She did handle it well.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MotherEden*
R: Oh, well how many times do you sex?

M: Well, that's kinda private.

R: Can I watch sometime?

J: I wanna watch you and daddy axe!

R: Not axe dummy, SEX. You want to watch them sex!









I







that they say you sex and leave out the have







:

Quote:

R: It's when the sperm tries to go to the egg and if the egg is there it makes a baby but if the egg is not there is comes out all bloody and mommy wears a big band aid in her panties.








: This is too funny.


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## BlueStateMama (Apr 12, 2004)

ROTFL!!! She may be my new personal heroine!! :LOL


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## bravofrenchie (Oct 15, 2004)

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## carolsly (Oct 5, 2004)

The more honest we are with our children about sex the less likely they are to come home at 12 and tell us A. they are pregnant, B. they are going to be a Daddy, or C. they have some awful sexually transmitted disease. I love that she explained it so honestly and patiently. She get's the mother of the year award in my opinion. :LOL



































:







but best of all it is funny as H E double toothpicks.


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## meco (Mar 1, 2004)

this cracks me up every time.


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## Ms. Frizzle (Jan 9, 2004)

omg, I am laughing so hard that I have tears!!


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## bamamom (Dec 9, 2004)

I needed that so much!!


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## MommytoMJM (Aug 3, 2004)

That is the funniest thing I have heard in a long time


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## Lisalee2 (Dec 12, 2001)

That is hilarious.


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## umefey (Sep 10, 2004)

:LOL


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