# Preteens and movies... would you let your 13yo see this?



## mama_ani (Aug 2, 2007)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1Gbu...eature=related

My 13 yo is currently really really angry at me that I won't let her see this.


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## marlne (Mar 15, 2006)

My 14yr old (just turned) daughter wants to take me to see this with her on my Birthday weekend.. Nice way for her to suggest somethign for me and her?LOL
She's read most of the books at school, as well as her friends and really likes the stories.
She's told me a lot about them but I still have yet to read the books myself.

I've always loved vampire/monster type of movies and stories when growing up, and still do today. She seems to have followed me in that.

I don't know if I'll be out of the norm here, but I think I'm going to take her to see it and will be bringing my 12yr old daughter along as well..
My 12yr old daughter isn't into the books but does want to go to watch the movie.


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## MaterPrimaePuellae (Oct 30, 2007)

Yes. I enjoyed the books myself.







:
There has been some discussion on the board as to whether the books are good/bad (if the Edward/Bella relationship is healthy and whatnot), but I personally thought it was fine. I *really* appreciated the abstinence element.
have you/she read the books? I would start there.


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## glendora (Jan 24, 2005)

They're marketing it heavily to exactly that age group, and the books are technically considered YA. Unless you've got some religious objection, or she's super sensitive to scary stuff, I don't see it as an absolute No. It's rated pg-13. *shrugs*


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

I'm not big on "censoring" movies from my kids- except for when they're very small and don't have the judgement to know what might scare them before actually viewing something. By age 10 or so, my kids are pretty good about seeing a trailor and deciding for themselves if they think it would be too scary or not. If I think something is too scary (based on the child's actual sensitivities to movies in the past) I'll discuss it with him or her.

DD2 was about 9 when the 3rd Harry Potter movie came out, and I was concerned she'd be frightened by it (this is a child who was scared by the Elmo movie at age 5) but we discussed it, she'd already read the book, and in the end decided it would be OK if she came to see it along with me and DD1- and she did fine. Another time, more recently, she wanted to see The Golden Compass after seeing the trailors- so we got the book out of the library, we both read it, and she decided not to see the movie.

What I would do is see the movie with her and then you can discuss it together- including anything you felt was "innapropriate" or "unhealthy in the relationship" so she'll be more likely to internalize your values rather than the ones presented in the movie.


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## Marsupialmom (Sep 28, 2003)

I would let my child see it without second thought.

but when I do object I don't say NO.

I say "Let me(us) see it first and then we will decide. Trailers and ratings can be very decieving. If I have seen it first then we can discuss the parts that we don't agree with or brings up a topic. Or you can have a reason that is more sound. Even if she doesn't like it you have made a better educated decission that both of you will appricate --at least later.


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## Dar (Apr 12, 2002)

I would have let my kid see it at 13 without a second thought, too... OTOH, she read Twilight and proclaimed it "insipid junk" or something like that... she's currently reading Lovecraft...

Dar


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## enkmom (Aug 30, 2004)

I wouldn't have hesitated to let my daughter see this. She is 19 now, and has been counting down the days.


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## Oriole (May 4, 2007)

I read the books, and I hope you reconsider and let your teen watch it.







The books are THAT good, and I'd be really really upset and disappointed if I couldn't watch this film, and I am an adult!

* There is no sex, there is no nudity, there are only a few kisses.








* You never watch anyone being killed. It is implied on couple of occasions, but that's it.








* The final fight you see at the end doesn't get much more gruesome that what you see in the previews. The good guys win. (yey for the good guys!)
*The vampires don't even have sharpened teeth! They only have funky super powers, one can read minds, another one can calm down upset people, another one can see variations of a future, etc. Nothing violent.
* The main group of vampires does NOT drink people's blood, they are vegetarians. heh

So...... It's really just a love story. I'd let your daughter enjoy it.









We were very cautious with dsd growing up and ratings, but I'm not expecting this movie to be "too much" for any 13 y.o.

P.S DSD, my sister, DP and I are all going this Friday!


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## urchin_grey (Sep 26, 2006)

Absolutely. I've read the whole series and there's nothing in any of them that I would worry about a 13yo seeing. Probably the only scary moment in all of the books is in the last book (the movie is from the first one). By the time the 4th comes out though, she'll be older.


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## mimim (Nov 2, 2003)

Definitely. I'm surprised my 14 yo DS isn't talking about this movie. It's right up his alley.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

I'd have let ds1 watch it at 13. I don't watch movies to vet them for him, because he mentioned watching several horror movies at a friend's house (kid was a total horror movie buff, apparently - how I didn't know that, after knowing him since he was 5, I don't know!). We talked a bit about them, and I realized that ds1 isn't bothered by a lot of the things that bother me. He processes it completely differently. (For example, I still can't watch the whole Aragog sequence in the second Harry Potter movie, and after watching LOTR: Return of the King about 50 times, I've never seen the entire Shelob scene. DS1 loves them both.)

When dd's that age, I think we'll have some major discussions about movies before she watches them. She's very sensitive in a way that ds1 isn't.


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## purslaine (Feb 20, 2006)

I have read Twilight. I would totally let a 13 year old see it (I think the male love interest is a little controlling in the book - but even that can be food for discussion). You could go with her.

Kathy


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## odenata (Feb 1, 2005)

Can I ask what your objection is? Not being snarky, just curious.

I don't think it would be too scary for a 13 year old. Just wondering if there was a moral objection to something in it, or...?


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

Never read the book. A friends dd has been reading those books and apperently there are some topics that might be a bit mature for some 13 yo's. I would suggest watching it first to be honest.

Though, I am interested in see the movie. I love vampires... Won't get into the whole reason why though since this is a family board.


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## amynbebes (Aug 28, 2008)

My 13 yr old just finished the first book so yeah, she's going to see it this weekend w/some friends.


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## operamommy (Nov 9, 2004)

I've read all but the last book and would definately let my 13-year-old see the movie. I *would* start a conversation after the movie though about Bella and Edward's relationship (if it's portrayed as controlling as it is in the books).

Oh, and can I just add that I would MUCH rather be going to see "Twilight" this weekend rather than "High School Musical 3?"


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## KMK_Mama (Jan 29, 2006)

I would totally let my DD watch it at age 13, but I would let her watch it at a younger age too. I've read the book and am going to see it on Thursday at midnight. LOL


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## Baby Makes 4 (Feb 18, 2005)

My 13-yo DS isn't interested ... too girly romance-y for his taste. I've read the books and wouldn't hesitate to take a 12 or 13 yo to the movie. (Although the rule in this house is that you have to read the book first)


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## Aubergine68 (Jan 25, 2008)

I plan on taking my 10 yr old to this movie. We have both read and discussed the books in great detail.


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## mama_ani (Aug 2, 2007)

Thanks everyone for your replies.
My concern with the movie is the whole concept of this girl being "prey" throughout the movie. I'm also not a fan of how violent it looks.
Dh has said that he'll go watch it and decide from there.

Thanks again everyone.


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## mmace (Feb 12, 2002)

I'm planning to take my just turned 15 year old daughter and a group of her friends from church, ages ranging from 13 - 17.


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## mikaela (Oct 3, 2007)

Try checking out the movie on one of the family movie review sites: http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-USfficial&hs=fen&sa=X&oi=spell&resnum=0&ct=resul t&cd=1&q=family+movie+review&spell=1. They'll offer more specifics about exactly what to expect in regard to violence, horror, sex, drugs etc., so that you can make a better educated choice -- and one that works for *your* family


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## chiromamma (Feb 24, 2003)

I can't WAIT to see this movie. 13yo DD and her girlfriends turned me on to the books. They were great steamy summer reading. DS1 tried reading them, thinking it'd make him a chick magnet, but he just couldn't deal.
I also appreciate the acknowledging of intense passion but staying abstinent.
Now if we want to discuss deplorable media...don't get me started on Gossip Girl, another current obsession of DD and her girlfriends. I seriously limit how much of that she watches.


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## Jessy1019 (Aug 6, 2006)

We will be taking our 2.5 and 6 year old, so yeah . . . I'd take my teenager.

What do parents hope to accomplish by censoring their kids' viewing?


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## lindberg99 (Apr 23, 2003)

I'd let my 13 yo see it. And I'd go with her if I could!

I'd rather go see that than the movies my 10 yo currently wants to see, which are HSM 3 (of course!) and Beverly Hills Chihuahua.

Jessy1019 - I know when I censor my kids' viewing of a movie, I'm usually hoping to accomplish me actually being able to focus on the movie instead of my 4.5 yo!







(I know that's not what you meant but that's just what I was thinking.) Will your 2.5 yo sit through a movie like this? My 4.5 yo sure wouldn't.


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## mamameg (Feb 10, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jessy1019* 
We will be taking our 2.5 and 6 year old, so yeah . . . I'd take my teenager.

*What do parents hope to accomplish by censoring their kids' viewing*?


*avoiding nightmares
*avoiding emotional stress (the kids and mine)
*avoiding desensitising chilkdren to acts of violence

What do parents hope to accomplish by NOT censoring thier kids' viewing?

eta: censoring childrens' viewing as they increase in age becomes more subjective and maybe less necessary, but for small children, limiting their exposure to certain elements seems logical to me.


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## mamajama (Oct 12, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jessy1019* 
What do parents hope to accomplish by censoring their kids' viewing?

protection from trauma.


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## Pynki (Aug 19, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jessy1019* 
We will be taking our 2.5 and 6 year old, so yeah . . . I'd take my teenager.

*What do parents hope to accomplish by censoring their kids' viewing?*

Humorous considering you disallow your children from watching anything that has some one who's adopted a child in it like... Angelina Joile.

I imagine that other parents who censor their children's viewing are doing something similar. Trying to uphold a family standard.


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## kama'aina mama (Nov 19, 2001)

I don't worry much about sexual content or nudity but I do try to limit the violence my child sees. I'm also not a fan of the "one true love/ destined to be together" romantic nonsense that seems to be dripping from this story by the bucket, so I try to limit exposure to that as well. A teen who was basically sensible I might let see it. A small child? No.


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## georgia (Jan 12, 2003)

Quote:

What do parents hope to accomplish by censoring their kids' viewing?
I'd prefer my kids NOT be exposed to age-inappropriate images/violence or issues they're not old enough to process. Children, IMO, are not miniature adults, and I completely believe it is a huge disservice to children to NOT "censor" them from much of the media. I am by no means anti-TV or movies, but below sums up part of why I "censor." I'm also not an expert fetishist, to me this seems like common sense:

Quote:

The American Psychological Association (APA) notes that children who regularly watch violence on television are more fearful and distrustful of the world, less bothered by violence, and slower to intervene or call for help when they see fighting or destructive behavior. A poll by the Los Angeles Times reported that 91 percent of children said they felt "upset" or "scared" by violence on television. A University of Pennsylvania study found that children's TV shows contain roughly 20 acts of violence each hour. After watching violent programs, the APA reports, children are more likely to act out aggressively, and children who are regularly exposed to violent programming show a greater tendency toward hitting, arguing, leaving tasks unfinished, and impatience. The Yale University Family Television and Consultation Center reveals that imagination decreases as TV watching increases. Complex language and grammar skills are directly linked to fantasy play, and children who create fantasy play are more tolerant, peaceful, patient, and happy.
and

Quote:

Joseph Chilton Pearce, author of Magical Child and, most recently, The Biology of Transcendence, says that it is television itself, not only its programming, that is dangerous. He says that children need the early time of imagination and play and that watching television prematurely matures their brains for more abstract thinking. The 60-year research of Paul MacLean, former head of the Department of Brain Evolution and Behavior at the National Institutes of Health, shows that we are never a mindless body. We are always using all three of our brains-reptilian: physical survival; limbic:group survival; and neocortex:survival of our creations. Information from the outside world goes first to the reptilian brain and then to the neocortex. All three brains perceive an image. The first and second brain, by their nature, believe and accept the image as true. A half second elapses and hundreds of thousands of nerve relationships occur between the time the reptile in us senses something and the human in us classifies it. By the time that happens, we will have already had a physical and emotional experience.
I could go on and on, but I will spare y'all


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## kmeyrick (Aug 30, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jessy1019* 
We will be taking our 2.5 and 6 year old, so yeah . . . I'd take my teenager.

What do parents hope to accomplish by censoring their kids' viewing?

Exposing young children to violence and horror is not good for their development, and them's the facts! Why?

Because little children aren't at the same level as adults or teens. I say this as an anti-censorship teacher who is training to be a library teacher. You can be anti-censorship without losing common sense. I wouldn't let me kid stuff herself on chocolate cake, or drink beer at that age, so no movies that were designed for teen-agers (and me) thanks.

At 13? Go for it!


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## llamalluv (Aug 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jessy1019* 
We will be taking our 2.5 and 6 year old, so yeah . . . I'd take my teenager.

What do parents hope to accomplish by censoring their kids' viewing?

I thought censorship was forbidding everyone else from seeing it.

Not allowing your kids to see inappropriate material, or material that does not meet your families standards of decency and values, is just plain good old fashioned parenting.


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## georgia (Jan 12, 2003)

Quote:

Dh has said that he'll go watch it and decide from there.
That sounds like a very responsive and caring approach. Please keep us updated


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## Jessy1019 (Aug 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lindberg99* 
Jessy1019 - I know when I censor my kids' viewing of a movie, I'm usually hoping to accomplish me actually being able to focus on the movie instead of my 4.5 yo!







(I know that's not what you meant but that's just what I was thinking.) Will your 2.5 yo sit through a movie like this? My 4.5 yo sure wouldn't.

Yeah, my son will sit through it (or, if really bored, nurse and fall asleep). He is a good movie-watcher, just like his sister.

Not censoring is not to say I never go to the movies without my kids . . . when my son was a bit younger, and I didn't trust him to behave appropriately, he didn't come. But we never forbid our kids from watching anything.

Pynki:

Quote:

Humorous considering you disallow your children from watching anything that has some one who's adopted a child in it like... Angelina Joile.
I do?? Really?? I am quite certain I've never said that. I will not _pay_ to see something with Angelina Jolie in it, but that doesn't mean my kids aren't allowed to watch if they want to . . . they could always borrow the movie from the library or from friends who don't share our objection.

Mamameg:

Quote:

*avoiding nightmares
*avoiding emotional stress (the kids and mine)
*avoiding desensitising chilkdren to acts of violence
We've never censored, and we've never had issues with any of that. I was not censored as a child, and I've never had issues with those things, either. I think it's largely in the way movies are presented to a child . . . if they understand that what they're watching is fictional, there's very little reason to get stressed (beyond the adrenaline rush that is the point of watching something scary) or have nightmares. And I don't agree that fictional media desensitizes kids to REAL violence -- my kids are certainly capable of understanding the difference there.

Quote:

What do parents hope to accomplish by NOT censoring thier kids' viewing?
Keeping an open dialogue, sharing family time, talking about issues as they come up (movies and tv have helped to bring up things that wouldn't naturally come up in our family but that make for great discussions), being entertained, adhering to our values (which are decidedly anti-censorship), and treating our kids with the respect they deserve.

I think a lot of people grossly underestimate their children, and that's a shame.


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## Flor (Nov 19, 2003)

Yes, he can watch just about anything.


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## Oriole (May 4, 2007)

I think certain movies have to be a parental judgement call, and I think we can't assume all children have the same sensitivity to horror and sexuality presented on the screen.

I have seen little kids crying from being scared in certain movies, so yes, I do believe in being sensitive to each child's needs. Tom and Jerry gave me nightmares from the episode with the big dog and teeth popping out.









I might be way off, but I believe that:
An average 5 year old is likely to find this movie scary and unappealing.
An average 13 y.o. will enjoy it, if they like romantic stories without any trauma or being exposed to anything too disgusting.

just my 2 cents.
I think OP has found a wonderful compromise.


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## mamameg (Feb 10, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jessy1019* 
Keeping an open dialogue, sharing family time, talking about issues as they come up (movies and tv have helped to bring up things that wouldn't naturally come up in our family but that make for great discussions), being entertained, adhering to our values (which are decidedly anti-censorship), and treating our kids with the respect they deserve.

I think a lot of people grossly underestimate their children, and that's a shame.

We still do all those things and my kids don't watch things that are inappropriate for them. My 2.5 comes to me when he's scared of certain scenes in Shrek - it's not too much of a stretch for me to know he would be upset by anything scarier than that.

And don't "it's a shame" me. There's nothing shameful about not letting my kids watch stuff that they haven't asked to watch, nor do they even know is out there. What would be a shame is if I didn't respond to what I know to be their emotional limits. That's not underestimating them. That's knowing my kids.


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## Cherie2 (Sep 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamameg* 
We still do all those things and my kids don't watch things that are inappropriate for them. My 2.5 comes to me when he's scared of certain scenes in Shrek - it's not too much of a stretch for me to know he would be upset by anything scarier than that.

And don't "it's a shame" me. There's nothing shameful about not letting my kids watch stuff that they haven't asked to watch, nor do they even know is out there. What would be a shame is if I didn't respond to what I know to be their emotional limits. That's not underestimating them. That's knowing my kids.


But there comes a point when the children have to respond to their own emotional limits ... I know its different for every kid but I think by 13 most kids are there.

this thread is not regarding toddlers


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## kmeyrick (Aug 30, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jessy1019* 
I do?? Really?? I am quite certain I've never said that. I will not _pay_ to see something with Angelina Jolie in it, but that doesn't mean my kids aren't allowed to watch if they want to . . . they could always borrow the movie from the library or from friends who don't share our objection.

That hardly improves it. Splitting hairs.


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## NiteNicole (May 19, 2003)

Quote:

Keeping an open dialogue, sharing family time, talking about issues as they come up (movies and tv have helped to bring up things that wouldn't naturally come up in our family but that make for great discussions), being entertained, adhering to our values (which are decidedly anti-censorship), and treating our kids with the respect they deserve.
You've talked about letting your two year old watch _Saw_ and I just can not see what purpose that serves. It sounds really important when you talk about treating your kids with respect and bringing up "issues" but I still think it's irresponsible to have a child that young anywhere near that level of gore and violence. I didn't let my child eat a hamburger till she was more than 18 months old. That doesn't mean I was censoring her choices, I was just making sure she was developed enough to handle it. I think it's much the same thing.

To the OP, I've read the books and they're really on about a 13 year old level. I'd say they're more sappy than violent, although as this is a film I'm sure the violence will be pretty splashy. I find the dynamic between the main characters to be pretty gross (he's kind of a creep anda a bit of a stalker) but it might be a good place to start talking about healthy relationships (for example, any guy that spys on you is probably not going to make for a real healthy relationship).


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## mamajama (Oct 12, 2002)

Jessy1019, I cannot resist asking







. Even though it's maybe off topic a bit but it pertains to what people would allow or disallow their kids to watch so I guess it doesn't stray too much. Would you allow your children to watch hardcore porn?

I ask because for me that would be akin to setting my kids up in front of a movie like Saw.


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## MaterPrimaePuellae (Oct 30, 2007)

The teen vampires in _Twilight_ are all "adopted" by the Cullens.... It's a pretty positive potrayal of adoption, too, IMO.


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## ananas (Jun 6, 2006)

I can't wait for it! I will probably be taking my 11 year old niece, so yeah, I'd let her see it.


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## mamameg (Feb 10, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cherie2* 
But there comes a point when the children have to respond to their own emotional limits ... I know its different for every kid but I think by 13 most kids are there.

this thread is not regarding toddlers

i agree that we gt off subject and 13 is old enough to watch a lot of movies and that kids, generally, by that age, can judge for themselves.


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## Jessy1019 (Aug 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamameg* 
There's nothing shameful about not letting my kids watch stuff that they haven't asked to watch, nor do they even know is out there.

I agree, if they haven't asked to see something and you don't want them to see it or don't want to see it yourself, don't bring it up. But if they have asked, and you've denied them, I think that's unfair and disrespectful.

We've always talked to our kids about what to expect from different movies, and ultimately, watching or not watching has been up to them.

kmeyrick:

Quote:

That hardly improves it. Splitting hairs.
The difference is not putting money into someone's pocket if you think she's going to spend it on something unethical.

NiteNicole:

Quote:

It sounds really important when you talk about treating your kids with respect and bringing up "issues" but I still think it's irresponsible to have a child that young anywhere near that level of gore and violence.
So don't take your kids to see those movies.







Censoring kids' media goes against MY values and the values with which I am raising my children, and I feel censoring is far more harmful to my children than allowing them to choose what they'd like to watch.

Mamajama:

Quote:

Would you allow your children to watch hardcore porn?
No, but if they asked, I would explain that I could go to jail/they could get taken away if I allowed them to watch it. That's the only reason I would really be opposed to it . . . I don't think there's anything harmful about porn and it would sure make for some interesting conversations!


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

No. I wouldn't.

I'm going to let my 16 yr old see it, but not at age 13. I'm kinda picky about what she saw and read.

O.K... wait. I just looked again. It's only rated p.g 13. So, maaaaybe I would. I thought it was rated R.

I personally think it looks stupid, but, that's just my opinion.


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## mamajama (Oct 12, 2002)

I find it intriguing that the only reason you wouldn't let your kids watch hardcore porn is because it's illegal. You don't really strike me as one to use The Law as your moral compass.


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## kmeyrick (Aug 30, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MaterPrimaePuellae* 
The teen vampires in _Twilight_ are all "adopted" by the Cullens.... *It's a pretty positive potrayal of adoption,* too, IMO.

Off to Barnes and Noble for me. I think I'll pick up some Angelina Jolie movies while I'm at it.


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## Jessy1019 (Aug 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamajama* 
I find it intriguing that the only reason you wouldn't let your kids watch hardcore porn is because it's illegal. You don't really strike me as one to use The Law as your moral compass.









It's not my moral compass. It's my keeping-my-kids-safe-and-not-getting-them-stupidly-snatched-by-the-state compass.


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## KMK_Mama (Jan 29, 2006)

I saw this last night and I really liked it! Definitely appropriate for a 13 yo IMO, but then again, I'd let my 6 yo watch it.


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## kmeyrick (Aug 30, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jessy1019* 
It's not my moral compass. It's my keeping-my-kids-safe-and-not-getting-them-stupidly-snatched-by-the-state compass.

That's rather tinfoil hat.


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## Porcelain Interior (Feb 8, 2008)

My newly 13 yo DD is watching this movie as I speak with her best friend and my best friend. I read all the books first, and then she read them.

I'm VERY over protective about what she's allowed to see/read, and at this age I give a little more because she is getting older.

The first book in this series was quite lame as far as violence and sex goes (there wasn't really any sex- just a huge crush going on) so I feel confident in allowing her to watch.


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## bri276 (Mar 24, 2005)

Quote:

But there comes a point when the children have to respond to their own emotional limits ... I know its different for every kid but I think by 13 most kids are there.
Exactly. My mother was very into being protective about what shows and movies I watched, and it was embarassing and disrespectful, IMO. The movie is PG-13, and a lot of thought (a ridiculous, arbitrary, and very conservative amount of thought) goes into that rating. I remember a friend bringing over "Top Gun" and my mother freaking out because of the lovemaking scene







it's nothing we didn't already learn in school! Really, what on earth is going to happen at worst? A nightmare? I've done a lot of childcare so I've seen families control these types of things many ways, with no difference between the children at all except the kids who aren't allowed are frustrated they don't get to see something they'd enjoy. No one is suggesting hardcore porn or Faces of Death for kids but Twilight? Seriously?


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## magpiedee (Dec 21, 2005)

After reading the books and discussing them, I would most likely let a 13 year old see it. I was there opening night, myself, probably the oldest person in the audience! I agree that there are themes that could definitely use discussion in the "fantasy vs. reality" area, including the stalking and danger aspects. Edward's danger doesn't translate well into real-world dating for teens.

But for a toddler or young child, I would not see the point. Whether or not they would be "harmed" by viewing it, what on earth would you expect them to get out of it? There is very little appeal. My 2 year old would be completely bored to tears about it and drive me (and the other patrons) up the wall! Therefore, the only reason to take her would be my own interest, which doesn't seem very fair to her or the people around us in the theater. Which is why I asked someone I trust to babysit while *I* went with my husband.

I think it is not a matter of censorship as respecting interests, maturity level, and potential after effects, not to mention other adults who don't want to hear your toddler say, "Mama, wassat?" for 2 solid hours.


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## Jessy1019 (Aug 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *magpiedee* 
Whether or not they would be "harmed" by viewing it, what on earth would you expect them to get out of it? There is very little appeal.

<snip>

I think it is not a matter of censorship as respecting interests, maturity level, and potential after effects, not to mention other adults who don't want to hear your toddler say, "Mama, wassat?" for 2 solid hours.

Both of my children have no trouble following the movies we watch -- and they also know how to behave at the cinema. They've been to a ton of shows and never bothered a single person (including me).


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## mommy68 (Mar 13, 2006)

First off, not all children are the same at any age so it depends on the child. But my 13 yr old could definitely see this one. In fact, I'd go see it with him.







It looks like a very cool movie.







My son is the type to take movies with stride. He can watch something and move on afterwards. It doesn't affect him. However, if you have an overly sensitive child or one that gets scared easily maybe think twice.


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## stik (Dec 3, 2003)

I think it's disrespectful to young children to take them to movies that deal with issues beyond their interest and comprehension. Not to mention a waste of $7. I'm pretty appalled that a parent would let a 2yo watch Saw. I can't imagine a child that age asking to watch the movie, so maybe it's just that my kids are really different. But I feel like the only purpose in allowing that to happen would be to gratify the parents' curiosity about how the child would react.

As parents, we make sacrifices to do what is right and developmentally appropriate for our children, and I think the ability to see all the grown-up movies we want in theaters is a relatively small and minor one.

I think Twilight is probably OK for a 13 yo, especially one who has read the book, and especially with a parent who can start a conversation about the issues it raises and how they intersect with your family's values.

If I was taking a small child to see a movie this weekend, I would go see Bolt.


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## sophiekat (Oct 29, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jessy1019* 
Both of my children have no trouble following the movies we watch -- and they also know how to behave at the cinema. They've been to a ton of shows and never bothered a single person (including me).

perhaps you were so caught up in the violence and gore of _saw_ and _faces of death_ that you didn't notice? or am i misremembering the two-year-old cowering in her seat and crying throughout _saw_? i know seeing a child of that age in the theatre, much less a frightened child and oblivious or uncaring parents, would bother me.

on topic, my 11 year old sister has read the books and is seeing the film this weekend, i plan on mentioning the relationship dynamics to her but she's quite good at differentiating between fantasy and reality.


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## mamajama (Oct 12, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sophiekat* 
perhaps you were so caught up in the violence and gore of _saw_ and _faces of death_ that you didn't notice? or am i misremembering the two-year-old cowering in her seat and crying throughout _saw_? i know seeing a child of that age in the theatre, much less a frightened child and oblivious or uncaring parents, would bother me.

on topic, my 11 year old sister has read the books and is seeing the film this weekend, i plan on mentioning the relationship dynamics to her but she's quite good at differentiating between fantasy and reality.

It would really disturb me to see a child NOT bothered by a movie like that as well though


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## Marcee (Jan 23, 2007)

I would let my son (nearly 13) see this movie and perhaps my 11 year old as well. I plan on getting the books and reading them myself to see what all the buzz is about.

Our oldest 2 (13 & 11) are allowed to watch select/most PG-13 films. I try not to let them watch anything that is terribly crude or tacky.

We dont watch alot of rated R movies at our house. I dont allow the kiddos to watch them at this age. I did let my 13 year old son watch "Lions for Lambs", because I really liked its message. I dont let them watch violent movies. For example, I found the "Passion of the Christ" to be too violent for my children to see. I will likely allow them to see it before they turn 17 but I want them to see it as more than violence for the sake of violence. I want them to see the story, not just the brutality. But my brother and his wife took my 3 year old nephew to the theater to see it.

My mom accidently brought home "Children of the Corn" when I was younger. I still have nightmares from that movie...."He wants you too Malachi"....


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## mommy68 (Mar 13, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *stik* 
If I was taking a small child to see a movie this weekend, I would go see Bolt.

ditto. All of mine want to see this (even mom).


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## Jessy1019 (Aug 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sophiekat* 
perhaps you were so caught up in the violence and gore of _saw_ and _faces of death_ that you didn't notice?

Definitely not. I don't find the Saw movies particularly interesting. What's _Faces of Death_?

Quote:

or am i misremembering the two-year-old cowering in her seat and crying throughout _saw_?
Well, it wasn't _my_ child.

There's no doubt about it, it's wrong not to comfort your child if s/he is upset by something -- but what does that have to do with not censoring your child in the first place?


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## mamameg (Feb 10, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jessy1019* 

There's no doubt about it, it's wrong not to comfort your child if s/he is upset by something -- but what does that have to do with not censoring your child in the first place?

It has to do with having the foresight to know what will upset your child. And YES, I know you assert these things don't bother your children. If that's true, I find that to be more disturbing than anything.


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## mamajama (Oct 12, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jessy1019* 
There's no doubt about it, it's wrong not to comfort your child if s/he is upset by something -- but what does that have to do with not censoring your child in the first place?

I don't think it's a huge stretch to err on the side of caution by assuming that a wee child will be negatively impacted by even a snippet of the movie _Saw_. There are at least 100 other movies in the world. Why not just not show them the obviously gory brutal horror movies that are rated R. It's kind of silly to parent under the assumption that one's child is an anomaly and is not affected at all by horror, bogymen, murderers, dismemberments etc.

I think you're misusing the word 'censor' and should look it up. You're not censoring your child unless you tell her things she can and cannot say etc. You are, on the other hand, filtering the media that enters your home or your child's brain. (we all have our own reasons---the law, our morals, the fact that we would like our children to be able to sleep again...)

It's astounding how kids pick up on things in the larger world without our forcing them to view those things. Terrifying how quickly their innocence is stripped away. I don't think it's necessary to treat a 2yr old child like Alex from _A Clockwork Orange_ in order to facilitate family time when Sesame street will do.


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## Jessy1019 (Aug 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamajama* 
It's kind of silly to parent under the assumption that one's child is an anomaly and is not affected at all by horror, bogymen, murderers, dismemberments etc.

I parent my children with the knowledge and instincts that I have _as their mother_. I also parent them with respect and am happy to give them the freedom to make their own choices, with my guidance, whenever it is safe for them to do so. Choosing movies is absolutely harmless, and they have always made reasonable decisions that work for them.

Maybe they are anomalies . . . and maybe so was I, and so were all the other people I know who have had free reign with media throughout their lives, but I sincerely doubt that. I think we are just examples of how children pick up on their parents' reactions to things, and so relaxed parents breed relaxed children.

Quote:

I think you're misusing the word 'censor' and should look it up. You're not censoring your child unless you tell her things she can and cannot say etc.
I'm quite comfortable with my use of the English language, thank you.


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## mamajama (Oct 12, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jessy1019* 
I parent my children with the knowledge and instincts that I have _as their mother_. I also parent them with respect and am happy to give them the freedom to make their own choices, with my guidance, *whenever it is safe for them to do so*. Choosing movies is absolutely harmless, and they have always made reasonable decisions that work for them.

Maybe they are anomalies . . . and maybe so was I, and so were all the other people I know who have had free reign with media throughout their lives, but I sincerely doubt that. I think we are just examples of how children pick up on their parents' reactions to things, and so relaxed parents breed relaxed children.


Hmmm. See I suppose most people don't feel it's emotionally 'safe' for a child to be exposed to gore, violence and other horrors. My reaction to gratuitous violence tends to be a bit of anxiety, sometimes disgust, fear, physiological response such as elevated heart-rate etc. depending on the context. I'm ok with the fact that the same is true for my children. So if my lack of relaxation while watching such things is projecting onto them, I'm kind of OK with that! I would like my children to remain sensitized to violence as long as possible. I'm not averse to them experiencing 'negative' emotions such as compassion for (real or imagined) pain in others.
It's funny that I'm having this discussion because I'm about as relaxed as they come as a parent







:.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jessy1019*
I'm quite comfortable with my use of the English language, thank you.

OK then I don't think anyone here is talking about censoring children, rather censoring media content that we invite into our homes. If you are discussing censoring children, I don't think there's going to be much of an argument. I think most of us encourage our children to share their thoughts, feelings and ideas. I guess we're discussing completely different topics??


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## NiteNicole (May 19, 2003)

I just don't see how a child of two, and forgive me if I'm wrong Jesse I feel pretty sure you've used that as an example in the past, _decides_ to watch Saw. I can see how a two year old might be along for the ride, how it might be on and no one says, "hey, let's watch this later" but it's hard for me to envision a two year old with a real burning desire to watch Saw.


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## operamommy (Nov 9, 2004)

The thought of a baby the age of 2 seeing a movie like _Saw_ makes me really, really sad. I don't understand why someone would want to expose their child to such violence.


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## Jessy1019 (Aug 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NiteNicole* 
I just don't see how a child of two, and forgive me if I'm wrong Jesse I feel pretty sure you've used that as an example in the past, _decides_ to watch Saw. I can see how a two year old might be along for the ride, how it might be on and no one says, "hey, let's watch this later" but it's hard for me to envision a two year old with a real burning desire to watch Saw.

My kids go to the movies and Blockbuster with us a lot, so they see the posters or the cases of the DVDs available to rent. My two year old picks out all kinds of stuff at Blockbuster, and when we are talking about going to the movies, they look at what's at the theater with us while we're deciding what there is to see. With the little one who can't read yet, we'll tell him what the movies are about if he asks for something specific so that he can decide if he wants to see it or not.


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## Marcee (Jan 23, 2007)

So to the OP, I went out and bought the first book yesterday and read it last night. I would have now problem with my nearly 13 nor my nearly 11 year old seeing this. To me I equate it with Harry Potter ( although not as well written). I doubt I would let my 4 or 3 year old watch it. But then again after watching the movie trailers the movie does not seem to be to heavy with violence, commercials remind me of X-men.


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

My 13yo is currently reading this book, and I'm planning to read it when she's done. My 12yo will probably read it next (unless DD1 has to return it to her friend before DD2 is done re-reading LOTR.)

We may or may not watch the movie when it comes to DVD. We don't have the budget for movies in the theater!


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## Linda on the move (Jun 15, 2005)

I'm taking my 10 and 12 year old DDs to see it. They've read all the books (I'm on book 3). I don't believe in cesoring what they watch/read, but I do try to keep up with it so that I can discuss it with them (esp. my 10 year old). These books are very, very popular with middle school girls, and they are quick easy reads for adults.

The subtext is about desire, desire for things that you shouldn't want or could be bad for you. There's no sex (just a little kissing) and little violence (I'm curious how they've handled it in the film). The theme, though, is danger. Figuring out what is dangerous and what isn't, and what to do about it. And those confusing feelings when you know that what you want is dangerous. They are pulp fiction, but they do give good jump offs for conversation for those of us who like to listen to our kids.


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## love2all (Dec 13, 2003)

DD 13, saw it this weekend and loved it- she is an extremely mature kid and has read the books...
I think different kids can handle different things- you gotta make that choice...


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## Billycatmom (Dec 15, 2007)

My dd (she'll be 14 in December) read the book (and the others in that series) and saw the movie on Saturday, with 4 other girls who are 13 and 14 years old, and ran into at least 15 other girls at the movies who are in their grade.

IMO it's an age appropriate movie for 13 year olds.

------
Billycatmom


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## Susana (Feb 26, 2002)

I have a 15 year old dd, but i remember when she was 13 very well and yeh, I would let her read the book and see the movie.

this advice from a mama who has seen the movie twice with 15 y.o.dd already and has read all of the books and loved them despite them not being literary classics.


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## lorrielink (May 31, 2002)

i dont have a teen girl, just two boys 9 and 2 (going on 25) and i havnt read the book, altough i plan to. im a total vampire addict. i wish i knew a teen i could go to the movie with.









anywho.. this popped into my reader yesterday and i thought some of you might like it.

http://www.mamapop.com/mamapop/2008/...asons-why.html


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## Sailor (Jun 13, 2006)

I read the books, saw the movie.

I think I'd let a 13 year old see it just to show her what is NOT a healthy relationship. Rather, what is unhealthy co-dependence and controlling behavior.

I'm not a fan of the books or the movie. I think their "love" is no love at all ... but, some sick, unhealthy, co-dependence. Especially the girl's dependence on him. It's definitely not a movie or book that shows a strong, independent female character.

I don't find the violence objectionable ... but the lack of a healthy, independent female character.

I grew up without having anything censored from me, and I turned out ok. No nightmares, no desensitization, no weird ideas. For the record.







I think communication (more than anything) is really important ... and that's ALL we did in my family - discuss, discuss, discuss. lol


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## Linda on the move (Jun 15, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sailor* 
I think I'd let a 13 year old see it just to show her what is NOT a healthy relationship. Rather, what is unhealthy co-dependence and controlling behavior.

I'm not a fan of the books or the movie. I think their "love" is no love at all ... but, some sick, unhealthy, co-dependence. Especially the girl's dependence on him. It's definitely not a movie or book that shows a strong, independent female character.


I find it entertaining that their attraction is based on.......

uh....

She smells good and he is nice looking.

Did I miss something?

Anyway, we saw the movie yesterday and I think that not letting a teen see it would save them from cheesy mellow drama and bad acting.









My DDs loved it.


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## Cherie2 (Sep 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mama_ani* 
My 13 yo is currently really really angry at me that I won't let her see this.[/FONT]

so i am curious if she ever got to see the movie?


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## SandraS (Jan 18, 2007)

Yes.

My children have been "exposed" to movies in our home from a very young age. We have even seen one of our children blossom into a writer, talking about making movies himself.

They can see any movie they want, short of a porn. They know what's real and what's not, I know it won't make them into serial killers, and I don't feel there's any harm to be had.

But that's our family. We dig our movies and our kids have the maturity and capacity to be trusted to see whatever they want.

Good luck!


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## primjillie (May 4, 2004)

A 3 year old is mature? I am speechless at some of the people who let their children watch anything they want. I just never know quite to say when this subject comes up. I guess I am of the school that parents are here to guide and protect their children.....


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## mamajama (Oct 12, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SandraS* 

They can see any movie they want, short of a porn.

Why draw the line at porn? How is porn worse than a movie like _Saw_? What about the movie _Secretary_ or other movies very heavy in sexual content not classified as 'porn'. You limit sexual content but not violent content? How do you base this decision? I'm desperately curious


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## onlyboys (Feb 12, 2004)

I took my 12 year old to see it. He was (literally) the only boy there. We saw people getting out of limos (a gaggle of 12 year old girls and a chaperone) to see it. It was really fun!

The scene where Bella is actually hunted is intense, but not gory or terribly graphic. I am a very censoring mother (especially now that we have cable) and this movie I had ZERO trouble with my 12 year old seeing. HTH!


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## Jessy1019 (Aug 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *primjillie* 
I guess I am of the school that parents are here to guide and protect their children.....

You can guide them without censoring what they see -- in fact, I'd question how much guidance you could actually give without exploring a subject with them. And as far as protection, not everyone thinks that fictional sex and violence are dangerous.


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## mamameg (Feb 10, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jessy1019* 
You can guide them without censoring what they see -- in fact, *I'd question how much guidance you could actually give without exploring a subject with them.* And as far as protection, not everyone thinks that fictional sex and violence are dangerous.









Well I question someone who doens't understand the concept of _age appropriateness._


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## mamajama (Oct 12, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jessy1019* 
You can guide them without censoring what they see -- in fact, I'd question how much guidance you could actually give without exploring a subject with them. And as far as protection, not everyone thinks that fictional sex and violence are dangerous.









Oh my kids and I talk about, well, everything pretty much. I mean, I do keep my personal business personal etc. and I don't unload all my adult problems and dilemmas onto them. But we certainly don't shy away from difficult issues. I cannot think of one thing, as I sit here, that I wouldn't discuss with them and even explore with them or facilitate their exploration. This doesn't mean I need to sit them down and show them _Saw_ in order to discuss violence, or porns to discuss sex. I don't need to get them plastered to discuss drinking. I don't know why you would place so much trust in random filmmakers to introduce your kids to these issues!


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## Ceinwen (Jul 1, 2004)

I've gotta get on the wagon here of letting children watch movies like Saw is just beyond disturbing to me. I can't even imagine their feelings... and all the 'oh we discuss it' lines are not going to help that. A two year old can NOT process that level of violence, I don't care who you say you are.









As to the OP - yes, I saw Twilight this past weekend and I would let a thirteen year old watch it. It was pretty tame in comparison to some movies marketed to teens I've seen! Although I agree with the pp (Sailor?) who discussed the co-dependancy thing. Definitely a fantasy type movie, not something I'd be encouraging my daughter to seek out!


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## jeca (Sep 21, 2002)

I would. It's not a disturbing movie in any way so yeah I would.


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## mmace (Feb 12, 2002)

Quote:

I'd question how much guidance you could actually give without exploring a subject with them.
I guide my children by discussing things with them - I wouldn't get them drunk to teach them about alcohol awareness, I wouldn't take them to a prostitute to teach them about safe sex, and I wouldn't let them play with a loaded gun to teach them gun safety.

That said, I will take my fifteen year old daughter to see the movie, but I would not take my ten year old son or my five year old daughter - not age appropriate, in my opinion.


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## Sailor (Jun 13, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Linda on the move* 
I find it entertaining that their attraction is based on.......

uh....

She smells good and he is nice looking.

Did I miss something?

Anyway, we saw the movie yesterday and I think that not letting a teen see it would save them from cheesy mellow drama and bad acting.









My DDs loved it.









Right, exactly, LOL. And, on top of that, she smells good to him like raw steak smells good to my dog. It was too weird for me - the whole not being able to be close because he might lose control and eat her.

There's a good foundation for a solid relationship!


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## Susana (Feb 26, 2002)

It's a book!

It's a movie!

I am always a little freaked out when I hear about people being afraid books or movies or music or games might have some ability to affect their children's perception of the real world.

My daughter and I both know the chances of either of us meeting and falling in love with a vampire who wants us but might eat us are SLIM.


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## mama_ani (Aug 2, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cherie2* 
so i am curious if she ever got to see the movie?


Not yet. The only nights dh or the kids go to the movies is Tuesdays (cheap night) and they weren't able to make it last night. Maybe next week.


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## Cherie2 (Sep 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mama_ani* 

Not yet. The only nights dh or the kids go to the movies is Tuesdays (cheap night) and they weren't able to make it last night. Maybe next week.









Keep us updated


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## kblackstone444 (Jun 17, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Oriole* 
* There is no sex, there is no nudity, there are only a few kisses.








* You never watch anyone being killed. It is implied on couple of occasions, but that's it.








* The final fight you see at the end doesn't get much more gruesome that what you see in the previews. The good guys win. (yey for the good guys!)
*The vampires don't even have sharpened teeth! They only have funky super powers, one can read minds, another one can calm down upset people, another one can see variations of a future, etc. Nothing violent.
* The main group of vampires does NOT drink people's blood, they are vegetarians. heh

So...... It's really just a love story.









:

My son has always been very good about movies- I would have let him watch it anywhere after three or four years old. He's 13 now and might be going to see it with my sister-in-law this weekend. My little girl is 8 and I'd let her watch it now, if she was interested. It would probably do her good, that not all vampires are evil.


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## spero (Apr 22, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Linda on the move* 

Anyway, we saw the movie yesterday and I think that not letting a teen see it would save them from cheesy mellow drama and bad acting.









My DD would completely agree. She loveslovesLOVES the books, bought them all, has read each one many times over, dressed up and went to Borders to get her copy of _Breaking Dawn_ at midnight, the whole deal.

She HATED the movie, and she knew she would. She thinks it was very badly cast, and that it was poorly acted. She found it to be a huge disappointment and a terrible waste of good babysitting $$$.


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## amnesiac (Dec 28, 2001)

My 13 year olds went to see it with a group of friends. They hadn't read the books but now that they know a little about the story they want to. When they came out of the movie we asked how it was - one of them said it was fun to go with all the other kids & the other one said that the acting was bad & the script was very poorly written. (grandfather is a director







)


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## Linda on the move (Jun 15, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sailor* 
Right, exactly, LOL. And, on top of that, she smells good to him like raw steak smells good to my dog.

I told my DDs you said this and they laughed hard. We discussed how realistic the relationship is (or I should say "isn't") and they said that it is a vampire story, "you know mom, like a fairy tale. You read it because it is fun, but because it is how life is."

Quote:

It was too weird for me - the whole not being able to be close because he might lose control and eat her.
I think that it is about not being able to be close to someone without fear that one of you will loose control sexually. This book/movie is most popular with girls who are just starting to get interested boys and have been raised in a world where sex can equal death.


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

I can't wait till it comes to the $3 movie theater by my house. I'd let my 13 year old see it if she had read the book.

Quote:

I've gotta get on the wagon here of letting children watch movies like Saw is just beyond disturbing to me. I can't even imagine their feelings... and all the 'oh we discuss it' lines are not going to help that. A two year old can NOT process that level of violence, I don't care who you say you are.
Seriously.


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## mamahart (Sep 25, 2007)

COMMENT ON OFF TOPIC DISCUSSION-

When I was a kid some of my family would let all the little kids- including me- watch things like friday the 13th. I was about 6 or 7. Because of the kind of kid I was I removed myself because I was scared and knew I would have nightmares. I still have huge guilt for not protecting my other (even younger!) cousins from watching gore and horror so young. I think with more information none of them would have "chosen" to watch it. The reality was that the adults wanted to watch it and didn't want to have their desires modified by the presence of the kids. Selfish imo.
My 2 cents is that even graphic sex (no rape or wierdness) is so much better than graphic violence. My rational is that we all have sex but not many of us pick up and AK47 or go chainsaw on our nieghbors.
So I limit all violence but am quite a bit more forgiving of sex in movies. Just my take.


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## Linda on the move (Jun 15, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamahart* 
The reality was that the adults wanted to watch it and didn't want to have their desires modified by the presence of the kids.

I think there is a big difference between adults choosing to watch something inspite of the fact that they are forcing children to also watch it, and adults allowing older children or teens to make their own choices about what they want to watch.


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## Labbemama (May 23, 2008)

I took my 15 yo DD and her friend.

DS wants to go see it with a girl from school.

I did not take my 10 year old dd because she is easily scared, but I will (after seeing it) let her see it when it comes out on dvd.

My 15 yo was unimpressed and proclaimed the whole thing is "RUINED." I guess it didn't measure up to her imagination.

I am in line to read the books (That I bought) that are being passed around. LOL.


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## giftedwith2 (Apr 4, 2007)

My13y/o DD, her freind my 10y/o son and I saw it last night. The book is MUCH better. The movie skipped the teasing/ relationship building elements of the book and jumped from scene to scene. They could have played up the girls clumsiness in gymclass and her fainting in biology not only to add some humor but show how the pattern of the vampire's "rescuing" her from silly stuff pushes them into situations where they develop a friendship. It's really difficult from the movie to see why they are friends at all. In one scene he is repulsed by her and in the next they are inseparable? Much of the books plot was left out and only the most basic-cheesiest kind of stuff was shot. The boy vampire looking confused/bewildered/anguished or angry alternately and the girl full of angst and mopey most of the time. There were a few beautiful scenery screen shots. The make up was obvious-Peewee Hermon type pancake make up to make the vampires look pale. The male stars eyebrow pencil, eyeliner and lipstick obvious. The vampire dad/doctor had badly bleached blond hair and more pan cake make up. The fight scene was pretty intense. I dunno. The book itself is definately fun teen fiction-a good read but not exactly Shakespear. The movie would have been much better had they developed the characters more and let the kids relationship develope more slowly. As it was it appears the boy likes her because she smells delicious and she seems only into his looks.


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