# memorial tattoos?



## cubasianchica (Jun 18, 2007)

I lost my daughter 3/16/07, stillborn, and Ive been thinking about getting a tattoo of her name to remember her and always have her with me. Of course I cant now since im pg with #2 but I def want to do it later next year. First question is anyone do this? how did you feel? whats it like to get a tattoo, ive never got one. Also can you tattoo and bf? Id appreciate as much info as I can get even just experiences maybe even ideal spots to put it where its not so obvious, I want a more private tattoo.


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## patronia (Nov 28, 2007)

No one else can say what having a tattoo will be like for YOU. It all depends on your pain tolerance. I'll admit it hurt me, and I have a high pain tolerance.
The only advice I'd have for placing is don't have it in a "boney" place (Like your hip or shoulder) as they tend to hurt more.


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## Ambrose (Apr 20, 2004)

I plan on getting a tattoo in remembrance of Lasius on the side of my body, by the ribcage. My theory- the pain I will feel will be a bit of a release of the pain I feel inside of me daily. I also plan on getting a tattoo for my miscarried babe Jackson on my wrist or my fingers, I haven't decided. And a tat for my other miscarried babe Kaia on the opposite fingers/wrist as Jackson's.


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## momz3 (May 1, 2006)

Well, I have 3 tatts, the first one obviously hurt the most ...

We lost our daughter @ 39 weeks to uterine rupture and this past May for her 1st bday I got a tattoo of her footprint, name and DOB..

I will post the link to it when I find it.


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## inkedmamajama (Jan 3, 2003)

i have gotten tattoos that were specifically to function as therapy for me, and they were immensely helpful. memorial tattoos are often immensely helpful.

i know people that find an artist that is willing to let them sprinkle the ashes of their passed loved one into the ink and that way the tattoo is even more personal for them.


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## Ornery (May 21, 2007)

My Dh and I are getting our daughter's footprints tatted on us. She was born too early due to subchorionic hemmoraging. He is putting them on the tops of his big toes and I am getting them over my heart on my back. I've got one tat on my back (yes, a tramp stamp but it means a lot to me) and I LOVED the process. Didn't even hurt on the spine, just on the fattier tissues. My DH has multiple tats on his back and upper arms in memory of several friends who have died. I think it is a wonderful way to memorialize lost ones, if you like body art. I have to wait until some health issues are cleared up so check with your doctor.


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## roslyn (Aug 23, 2006)

I'm thinking of getting my daughter's footprints tattooed on my forearm right at the crook of my arm. It's not particularly conspicuous (no stupid questions) and it's just where a baby lies when you hold them. I think it would be therapeutic.


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## Chic_Mama (Jun 26, 2007)

As soon as I can afford the tatoo and the trip I plan on getting a memorial tatoo by Hannah Atchison. I want to get a watercolor version of a cherry blossom tree from about midback on my left side to my right shoulder. I want her to work angel wings and a halo discreetly into the bark on the tree and possibly Micah's name. I later plan to have Kat Von D do portraits of all my children around the main tatoo and possibly have Hannah extend some branches out from my main tatoo to encompass the portraits. I think it will be one more step in my healing process, I just don't know when I will actually be able to do it.


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## NullSet (Dec 19, 2004)

I think that is a wonderful idea and I am glad you brought it up. I think I would like to do this in the future. I'm also not sure about the breastfeeding at the same time. Is it safe?


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## zoie2013 (Mar 31, 2007)

I was strongly pulled to get a memorial tatt for Rowan. There are some great, informative threads on mdc about tattoos and bfing. Read them, and the research about the molecules of the paint carriers, and decide for yourself. I read them and did a little research and, for me, it's not worth the risk to get one while bfing. I bought some jewelry with Rowan's name on it to tide me over. Bummer, cause I'm planning to bf for many more years! On the bright side, my tatt will be so late in life, it will still look great when I'm old


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## frontierpsych (Jun 11, 2006)

DH and I are getting memorial tats for Mackenzie. We're each getting a footprint (one left and one right) with her initials and SB date on it.


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## momz3 (May 1, 2006)

Wow lots are getting footprints hu h. I got my idea from a girl Iwent to school with. her dh is a tatt artist. Anywho, here is mine...I get so many compliments on it .

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...2Chris/pic.jpg


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## cubasianchica (Jun 18, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *momz3* 
Wow lots are getting footprints hu h. I got my idea from a girl Iwent to school with. her dh is a tatt artist. Anywho, here is mine...I get so many compliments on it .

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...2Chris/pic.jpg

thats beautiful mama. I do need to do more research on tattoo and bf but my question is couldnt you pump ahead of time prior to your tattoo and then once you get it just express your milk so baby doesnt get anything or is it something that stays in your system for a while? Also what is an average cost of like a name and footprint?


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## momz3 (May 1, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cubasianchica* 
thats beautiful mama. I do need to do more research on tattoo and bf but my question is couldnt you pump ahead of time prior to your tattoo and then once you get it just express your milk so baby doesnt get anything or is it something that stays in your system for a while? Also what is an average cost of like a name and footprint?


thanks so much!
As we all know, there can be possible risks of infection from tatts. So i would, to be on the safe side, pump. Just make sure you do alot of research and looking around for a reputable place WITH their licenses.

Mine costed only $80 at a studio that I'm very familiar with (gotten tatts and piercings there before) ...very cheap. We went to a few places and most were charging well over a hundred for something like this.

You can make it as unique as you like..some parents like to get an actual picture, a handprint, or something like that...the possibilities are endless!


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## VivC (Jan 4, 2008)

I got this one as my Mother's Day gift from hubby the MD after I lost Rivi. It's just above my right ankle:

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a1...ttooavatar.jpg


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## cubasianchica (Jun 18, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *VivC* 
I got this one as my Mother's Day gift from hubby the MD after I lost Rivi. It's just above my right ankle:

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a1...ttooavatar.jpg

i couldnt see the pic, the site wouldnt come up


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## VivC (Jan 4, 2008)

I think I pasted the wrong link! Try this one.... http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a1...ttooavatar.jpg


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## momoftworedheads (Mar 6, 2003)

I also would like to get a tattoo for my daughter Avery. I am going to wait a while though. We are TTC again and I BF for a while (3+ yrs) so I figure it will be a long time before I do it.

Take care!

Jen


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## deuxceleste (Aug 19, 2006)

I very, very strongly recommend it! I don't regret it at all. Like a PP said, it's very therapeutic, and while at first it was a "reminder", now it's a memorial.


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## cyncyn (Nov 19, 2004)

I want to get one for my daughter's birth and one for the mc I had last year so I am thinking of two birds (like retro swallows) either on my shoulder blades or on my chest. My other idea is to add a bird to a very tiny heart that I have on my ankle, like a Native American Raven Steals the Sun motif, with the heart as the sun, as my baby who was "stolen".

I have heard different information on tattoos and bf. It might depend on who you want to do the tattoo. Some artists won't do it but others will (liability?).

Tattoos do hurt, but it is manageable. I don't have a high pain tolerance (I'll bawl if I stub my toe







) but with tattooing I can get through it because I *chose* to have it and mine always have a special meaning and the pain is part of the process.


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## ~Mamaterra~ (Jul 5, 2006)

I've been thinking about this for awhile and now that this thread came up, it has been in the forefront of my mind.

As I've lost 5 angel babies, it was hard for me to decide how to memorialize them. I couldn't see myself to relagating them to one tat on one part of my body, for some reason that just seemed too lonely for me.

Then it hit me tonite......I would get a heart with a pair of wings for each one of my losses with their birthdate/date of loss underneath and scatter them in a swirling motion all around my torso. For the twins, I would have the two hearts with wings kinda encircling each other (like I imagine them chasing each other or walking hand in hand in heaven). They would only be about a half inch square in size.

It represents that a part of my heart is gone and lost forever with them....







:


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## cubasianchica (Jun 18, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Mamaterra~* 
I've been thinking about this for awhile and now that this thread came up, it has been in the forefront of my mind.

As I've lost 5 angel babies, it was hard for me to decide how to memorialize them. I couldn't see myself to relagating them to one tat on one part of my body, for some reason that just seemed too lonely for me.

Then it hit me tonite......I would get a heart with a pair of wings for each one of my losses with their birthdate/date of loss underneath and scatter them in a swirling motion all around my torso. For the twins, I would have the two hearts with wings kinda encircling each other (like I imagine them chasing each other or walking hand in hand in heaven). They would only be about a half inch square in size.

It represents that a part of my heart is gone and lost forever with them....







:

thats beautiful mama


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## LotusBirthMama (Jun 25, 2005)

I have this for my DD. Its a mama sitting on a lotus flower nursing a newborn. I love it b/c the cord is still attached!

I am getting this for DS2 but it will say "Until I found you" b/c he was my first living baby after four losses.

I still haven't come up with one for DS1 yet.


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## Tina Marie (Nov 5, 2007)

I have a small cross with a rose on my right arm, was going to get something added, but I wanted it to be something special. I had a tubal miscarriage 2 days before thanksgiving, and since then, was thinking about putting Lilly Annette and Russel Lee on it. I was going to name the baby Lilly after great grandma, Annette after grandma or Russell after special uncle who passed away when I was young, and Lee which is a family name, mom/dad/etc. Tattoos hurt, but the hurt doesn't last forever and I'm the biggest wimp when it comes to needles


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## Organicavocado (Mar 15, 2006)

I got two tiny stretchmarks with my last pregnancy that ended in miscarriage. It seemed perfect to equate emotional pain with physical pain to memorialize the experience, but I'm in a new area and given the subject matter didn't want to go traipsing around town trying to find a new tattoo artist... esp. one that wouldn't mind my sobbing in such an emotional state. (For me, tattoos are unbearably painful. I pass out or vomit every time. But I love the results... its worth it... and my husband is the total opposite. He winces every now and again but he says its fairly painless to him)

I wanted to get a tiny heart between the two stretch marks to remember which ones were "his" and which ones belong to this one, as I thought I would conceive pretty quickly (and I did). I thought it would be beautiful to see the little heart swell as my belly swelled with new life. I wish I had gone through with it.. -sigh-


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## NaomiMcC (Mar 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Mamaterra~* 
I've been thinking about this for awhile and now that this thread came up, it has been in the forefront of my mind.

As I've lost 5 angel babies, it was hard for me to decide how to memorialize them. I couldn't see myself to relagating them to one tat on one part of my body, for some reason that just seemed too lonely for me.

Then it hit me tonite......I would get a heart with a pair of wings for each one of my losses with their birthdate/date of loss underneath and scatter them in a swirling motion all around my torso. For the twins, I would have the two hearts with wings kinda encircling each other (like I imagine them chasing each other or walking hand in hand in heaven). They would only be about a half inch square in size.

It represents that a part of my heart is gone and lost forever with them....







:

That is awesome!!!When do you plan on getting it done???


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## cubasianchica (Jun 18, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Organicavocado* 
I got two tiny stretchmarks with my last pregnancy that ended in miscarriage. It seemed perfect to equate emotional pain with physical pain to memorialize the experience, but I'm in a new area and given the subject matter didn't want to go traipsing around town trying to find a new tattoo artist... esp. one that wouldn't mind my sobbing in such an emotional state. (For me, tattoos are unbearably painful. I pass out or vomit every time. But I love the results... its worth it... and my husband is the total opposite. He winces every now and again but he says its fairly painless to him)

I wanted to get a tiny heart between the two stretch marks to remember which ones were "his" and which ones belong to this one, as I thought I would conceive pretty quickly (and I did). I thought it would be beautiful to see the little heart swell as my belly swelled with new life. I wish I had gone through with it.. -sigh-

its funny that you mention you want to get it where the stretch marks are. I was thinking the same thing. Although my stretchmarks were on both my hips and I was concerned that it would be visible to others. As I mentioned I wanted to keep it private for many reasons.


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## ladybug13 (Oct 29, 2005)

Yes, I have one too. It's my daughter's name and a ladybug over my heart.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...madison005.jpg

I also plan on having all 3 of my children's names added to the center of a sun I already have in the small of my back.


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## Nkenga (Dec 11, 2005)

I just got a tattoo this past Saturday for Jonathan. I LOVE it! I did hurt, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. In fact, I almost fell asleep! I think that was because I was doing sort of a meditative breathing while he was working on me, and becasue I was lying down. BUt I LOVE the tattoo I got, and I've been showing it off like crazy..well, actually, I've been showing off the picture of it, since it's now at that flaky/sunburned looking stage, but still.

The one thing I would think through carefully is, if this is the first time you've thought about getting a tattoo, think about it some more. I've been thinking about a tattoo for, no joke, 15 years, and the design I got is completely different from what I would have gotten then, or 5 years ago, or even a month ago.

When you see the right design, you'll know. It'll hit you right in the solar plexus.

Here's the link to the pic: http://s63.photobucket.com/albums/h1...ttoofinal1.jpg


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## Stinkerbell (Aug 11, 2005)

Quote:

When you see the right design, you'll know. It'll hit you right in the solar plexus.

Here's the link to the pic: http://s63.photobucket.com/albums/h1...ttoofinal1.jpg
this is sooo beautiful!

My little brother died when I was 15 and my grandmother told me a story that night about a caterpiller going into it's cocoon so it's friends all thought he had died, but then he emerged as a butterfly and flew up high to see all the world. It's a children's book.

So anyway I tattooed a butterfly in memory of him when I became an adult. Now my father has passed and I'd like to add a bigger butterfly.

I have my children's names on my back but strangely, I have not had the courage to tat my DD on me at all (she passed in 1994).


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## joanq (Oct 27, 2005)

I got one after my miscarriage in October. It was very helpful. I went to a tattoo artist who was amazing and spent a lot of time helping me design exactly what I wanted.
I've had 2 other tattoos previously, so I knew what to expect for pain etc. My first one was on my shoulder, not so bad. The second was over my tailbone and very painful. This one is on my right low back, toward my ribs. It was like labor pain, if you accept the pain and welcome it (don't fight it) then your endorphins take over and it isn't so bad. The tattoo artist said something like "Oh, you are blissed out right now. You handle the pain well". I don't know though, it was uncomfortable at the beginning, but then the pain just goes away.
I found it very therapeutic and I always have a reminder of this little baby that left us too soon. It is the shooting star. The small round tattoo was an old one








Here is a picture if anyone would like to look: http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b3...5/IMG_2654.jpg


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## *maddy's mum* (Jan 4, 2008)

All these tattoos are beautiful and are so special because they have that personal meaning for you all. We lost ou r daughter Lily at 22weeks on October 28th 2007 and I had a life size copy of her foot prints done on the back of my hip. I love it because the artisit who did it was very good and tried to copy as much detail as possible from the prints. I don't have a pic at the moment but will post one up as soon as I can.


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## thixle (Sep 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cubasianchica* 
First question is anyone do this? how did you feel? whats it like to get a tattoo, ive never got one. Also can you tattoo and bf? Id appreciate as much info as I can get even just experiences maybe even ideal spots to put it where its not so obvious, I want a more private tattoo.

I've lost many people to suicide, and I have tats on my upper arms and back (between my shoulder blades). As one poster said, it hurt at first, then I kind of zoned off with endorphins and became so relaxed I almost fell asleep. The most "painful" stinging part was on the thin skin near my armpit, but it was completely bearable-- like a bee sting. I find those places (to me) private because a t-shirt will cover them, yet I can show them off with a tank top if I want. And, I can look down and kiss them at any point I want (weird? maybe, but it helps me to be able to stay connected with them, the fact that I can kiss warm flesh, instead of visiting a distant gravesite).

You can get a tat and bf, HOWEVER, you should wait until your baby has been eating a variety of solid foods, without reaction. Basically the only reason tat artists won't do them on a bfing mother is because of the tiny, tiny risk of the baby being allergic to the ink (blue and white are the most "allergenic" colors)... I know a few artists, and none will tattoo a nursing mom's BREAST, but will tattoo anywhere else as long as the new baby hasn't had any signs of allergies and is close to a year old. Others will say because of the risk of Hep B infection, staph, etc, but any good tattoo shop will have measures to prevent those-- and your own aftercare can lower that chance as well (keep it moist and sealed with tattoo goo or the like to prevent infection once you leave the parlor).

Get to know your tattoo artist! He/she should give you a consultation. If you have a design, bring it with you (it may have to be resized, or detail taken out because of the tools used for tats). Any artist worth their salt will spend time drawing, redrawing, and discussing it with you before you ever sit in the big chair. Drop by the shop occasionally- watch to make sure they clean stations between patrons and use an autoclave (little metal oven) to sterilize all tools. When they get inks out for a new person, they should squirt them into smaller cups and CHANGE GLOVES between people. You should be able to find an artist that makes _you_ comfortable-- and definately check out more than one shop before deciding which artist to go with.

I have found memorial tattoos to be a great way for me to express all the hurt, anger, fear, and sadness I will never be able to articulate with words. And a reminder that I carry those people with me everywhere I go, even if I can't see them.


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