# How old was your son when he started getting pubic hair?



## kyndmamaof4

My son has had pubic hair for around a year. He's 9. He had a few sparce hairs for a while, now, he is getting a full on bush. He is thin, so weight isn't pushing it or anything. Is this normal?

Thanks, Kaara


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## 106657

I have no idea. My ds is 14, but I haven't seen his body in so long. The last time was most likely when he was 7 or so.


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## operamommy

No idea here either! I can't remember the last time my 13 y/o ds1 let me see him naked.


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## SusanElizabeth

I also would have no idea -- I have never looked at my kids past the age where they might have public hair.







:

**If you are concerned, I would ask your doctor.


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## 2goingon2

My 9 year old son wears boxers and inadvertantly flashed me the other night doing his squirmy 9 year old boy acrobatics. It was a quick glance because I knew he would be mortified if he knew I saw and I looked away quickly. What I did see still looks pretty bare.


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## BedHead

Another 'no clue' here. I do remember ds2 proudly announcing to me once that he was getting pubic hair - I can't remember exactly how old he was now though. I know it was after we moved, and he was 11 when we moved.


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## MusicianDad

I don't have a son, but voted for myself. I was about ten when I started getting pubic hair.


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## SusanElizabeth

OK - I have to admit that this is perplexing to me. Do people look at their kids pubic hair? I understand that kind of involvement with a little kid. Please explain.


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## purslaine

Assuming they get underarm hair around the same time as public hair - 12.

Kathy


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## mamajama

Here's a link that might be helpful








http://kidshealth.org/kid/grow/boy/boys_puberty.html

Hey, Maybe it would be a little more respectful of privacy if you leave out the personal details and just post in a more general sort of way?


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## jennifer_lc1

... am i the only one who won't be looking at their childs body after 7 or 8?? that just irks me.


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## MayBaby2007

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SusanElizabeth* 
OK - I have to admit that this is perplexing to me. Do people look at their kids pubic hair? I understand that kind of involvement with a little kid. Please explain.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *jennifer_lc1* 
... am i the only one who won't be looking at their childs body after 7 or 8?? that just irks me.

Yeah. This thread just caught my eye.







Weird.

My mom never knew about my nether region as I grew older. I can't imagine inspecting my daughters pube area to see how many hairs she has at age X.

I'm sure if I went on the internet and was talking about her pubic hair and she found out, she would probably never forgive me for embarrassing her and talking about such a private thing.

My mom constantly told our family every little detail about me (when I got my first bra, period, etc)...I hated her for it. If she told everyone on a message board, it's possible I may have resorted to physical violence.


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## MusicianDad

Not every family has the same boundries with nudity. And I've seem posts by moms about their dd's first menstruations, about needing bras, etc.


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## Astrogirl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
Not every family has the same boundries with nudity. And I've seem posts by moms about their dd's first menstruations, about needing bras, etc.









:

We are all different and nothing is wrong with that. I have even seen boys 8 or 9 splashing around naked or sunbathing naked at our towns lake.


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## NikonMama

My son is 9 and has no modesty. He is constantly coming downstairs after his shower buck naked. There are many times I will get up in the morning and he will be watching tv naked. I try not to look (and immediately tell him to go put clothes on), but from what I've seen I don't think he has any pubic hair yet. He did tell me a couple months ago that he has a few hairs, though, so we had a short talk about pubic hair. He'll be 10 in January.


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## North_Of_60

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kyndmamaof4* 
My son has had pubic hair for around a year. He's 9. He had a few sparce hairs for a while, now, he is getting a full on bush. He is thin, so weight isn't pushing it or anything. Is this normal?

Thanks, Kaara

Maybe it's because I grew up with a nurse for a mother who, when were discussing our changing bodies, was a little more "clinical" than other moms, but did you have to use the word "bush"?







:


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## orangefoot

No idea and no need to know. We aren't a prudish family and they all see me naked but I don't see my boys naked any more.


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## mommy68

I have no idea. My boys haven't been naked in front of me since they were around 7 years old.







I'm not going to ask them about it.







I have talked to them in past years about pubic hair, underarm hair and body hair but not as they've gotten older. They know it's going to happen and I don't feel that I need to know when it does.









We aren't prudes either. We are a very open family and discuss anything and everything, but this is something no one really needs to know about.


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## mommy68

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Astrogirl* 
I have even seen boys 8 or 9 splashing around naked or sunbathing naked at our towns lake.










what did you just say?

I bet the pedofiles are happy in your neck of the woods. How scary that no one teaches those children better than that.


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## mommy68

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
Not every family has the same boundries with nudity. And I've seem posts by moms about their dd's first menstruations, about needing bras, etc.

and I plan to talk to my daughter about that kind of thing when it comes time for it. She's a girl and I'm a girl and I would share things like that with my closest girlfriends and have over the years. However, I didn't share the idea of getting pubic hair with my brother when he got it, lol. I don't need to know when my boys get pubic hair. It's not something I want to know nor do I even need to know about it.


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## MusicianDad

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommy68* 








what did you just say?

I bet the pedofiles are happy in your neck of the woods. How scary that no one teaches those children better than that.









If the boys cover up, the pedophiles will still be there and still watch. Just because you wouldn't do it, doesn't mean that someone should have "taught them better." Clearly someone felt that teaching them to be comfortable with the human form as it was intended was more important.


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## mamajama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
If the boys cover up, the pedophiles will still be there and still watch. Just because you wouldn't do it, doesn't mean that someone should have "taught them better." Clearly someone felt that teaching them to be comfortable with the human form as it was intended was more important.









:


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## LionessMom

DS likes to share that kind of info with me. he was so excited about it that he came running to tell me he found his first. i didnt look to confirm. he had just turned 13. 3 mo later he was being a goof and flashed me (topic for another thread). apparently it grew by leaps and bounds. i am happy for him. he is so proud to have finally caught up with the other boys in his class (you know they take showers after football practice right). he delights in his growing and changing body. i would like to help him celebrate this change rather than shy away from it. puberty is hard enough as it is.


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## mommyinIL1976

I voted 12...that's when DS told me he had had pubic hair "for a little while now". He may have had it sooner, but I didn't ask any further questions for fear of embarrassing the dear thing


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## cmhotzler

My son will be 11yrs. in Dec. He is around 100lbs. and 5' 2" and has no pubic hair yet (that I know of, haven't really seen, but he has no arm pit hair for sure and they go hand in hand I would think-plus he kind of tells me everything and asks lots of questions about puberty so i assume he'd mention it). Last night though I did notice the hair on his legs is getting pretty thick and course- his dad is a ape when it comes to body hair, and I assume it runs in the family, so maybe it'll happen soon.


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## LionessMom

my DS doesnt have any armpit hair yet just the other.


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## kewb

My ds is 10 and has no body hair under his arms yet. I'm not understanding why a mom should not know when this happens. My ds tells me more than I want to know and I am fairly sure when this milestone happens he will tell me.


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## SusanElizabeth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kewb* 
My ds is 10 and has no body hair under his arms yet. I'm not understanding why a mom should not know when this happens. My ds tells me more than I want to know and I am fairly sure when this milestone happens he will tell me.

I think some things are private, especially when it's between a parent and child of opposite sexes. I accept the fact that there are differences in the way people are raised, and individual families acceptance of nudity.

If one of the fathers on this site posted a thread about his daughter and her pubic hair, would people think this was equally appropriate? If the dad said in his post that his 9-year old daughter had a "full on bush" and other dads then weighed in would people think it was OK? Or is this different?


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## mandib50

gosh i have no idea. he's just turning 12 so i guess it's possible. i don't really see it as my business, it's his body so unless there are any health issues i will probably never know


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## mandib50

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kewb* 
My ds is 10 and has no body hair under his arms yet. I'm not understanding why a mom should not know when this happens.

unless there are health issues,then i think it's just a difference of perspective. i really don't think it's any of my business unless he feels like sharing that with me.


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## cassiemc

Add me to the list of freaks







My almost 9 year old is naked a lot of the time. He doesn't care, we don't care, his siblings don't care. I see no problem with it. As far as pubic hair, he certainly does not have any. I would hope I know when he does as puberty is a big thing and it's important that I know what's happening with all my children. How else would I know that he's behaving crazy because of puberty and not because he likes being rude to me? It seems to be a double standard that girl's periods and breast development are discussed all the time and no one says anything about it.


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## mandib50

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cassiemc* 
Add me to the list of freaks

















definitely not freaky, it's just a different perspective. i think it is somewhat different with a girl having a period and getting breasts because it requires discussions about pads, tampons, dealing with cramps, pregnancy and finding bras that fit and are comfortable. pubic hair doesn't require anything but possibly a pair of scissors if they plan on trimming








that doesn't mean you don't talk to your sons about the changes and how it will impact their body/emotions/sexuality (at least i hope not!)


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## MusicianDad

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mandib50* 







definitely not freaky, it's just a different perspective. i think it is somewhat different with a girl having a period and getting breasts because it requires discussions about pads, tampons, dealing with cramps, pregnancy and finding bras that fit and are comfortable. pubic hair doesn't require anything but possibly a pair of scissors if they plan on trimming








that doesn't mean you don't talk to your sons about the changes and how it will impact their body/emotions/sexuality (at least i hope not!)

Talk about pubic hair can be medical related. If it does happen to early it is a sign of percocious puberty, a valid worry.


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## oliversmum2000

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jennifer_lc1* 
... am i the only one who won't be looking at their childs body after 7 or 8?? that just irks me.

really??? my ds will be 8 in 2 weeks and still needs for me to rinse the conditionner out of his hair otherwise it would be a sticky mess, he showers while his younger sibs bathe, he wonders around naked, he is an innocent little boy, i find it weird that you think there is anything wrong with seeing your son naked when he is still a little boy.

i plan to respect my sons boundaries and as his self awareness grows and he
needs more privacy i will absolutely respect that but for now he doesnt care


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## MusicianDad

On American Dad! last night the teenaged son showed of his new pubic hair to the whole family. Made me think about this thread. A lot of it has to do with how comfortable the son is. If he has no problem walking around naked, talking about pubic hair, having mom help wash his hair, then it shouldn't be seen as abnormal or inappropriate. Family is family.

The gender speration is a bit on the offensive side for me, since dd only has dads and is only comfortable with DH or I then one of us should be allowed to help her with puberty issues like buying bras and such. And yes, I've asked about puberty issues that come up with other parent friends and none of them were weirded out that it was a father asking about things that came up regarding his daughter.


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## jennifer_lc1

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oliversmum2000* 
really??? my ds will be 8 in 2 weeks and still needs for me to rinse the conditionner out of his hair otherwise it would be a sticky mess, he showers while his younger sibs bathe, he wonders around naked, he is an innocent little boy, i find it weird that you think there is anything wrong with seeing your son naked when he is still a little boy.

i plan to respect my sons boundaries and as his self awareness grows and he
needs more privacy i will absolutely respect that but for now he doesnt care


yes really. if he needs help with something thats differemt.
wonders around naked at that age??? i wont go there.


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## christyc

Somewhere around 10, I'd guess. We were talking about puberty physical changes (me, him, his dad) a few months ago (he's almost 12 now)-- adding yet another layer to the growing sex talk we've been building on since he was a little guy-- and we talked about body changes, getting hair on the face, armpits, and privates, and he announces, "Well, I already have hair on my privates."

"What!?!?" I joked. "Why don't you tell me these things!?!?"

Having just recently seen a heavily edited version of Meet the Parents on TV, he did his little fingers in a circle in the air, and said, "Mom, you aren't in the 'circle of trust'."


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## alllyssa

How on earth would I know??? I haven't seen my son naked since he was 8 years old.


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## mommy68

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
If the boys cover up, the pedophiles will still be there and still watch. Just because you wouldn't do it, doesn't mean that someone should have "taught them better." Clearly someone felt that teaching them to be comfortable with the human form as it was intended was more important.

But being comfortable with your human form can be done in the privacy of your own home. Any parent out there (by now) should be well aware of pedofiles. Making it easier for your child to be viewed by a pedofile makes the parent no better than they are. I realize there are pedofiles walking around the mens gym area at the YMCA too and that's why our kids don't change while there and go home first. I take certain precautions to keep MY children safe. But hey, when my kids are 18 they can go swimming naked anywhere they want.

I highly doubt I'm in the minority in my thinking.









What I find are are all the posters are coming in here and saying heck no they don't want to see their young boy and don't want to know that he has public hair yet. But...on the flip side you are okay with the rest of the world seeing your boys total private parts when they go swimming in public places?? You can't get more contradictive or confusing than that.


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## mommy68

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
Talk about pubic hair can be medical related. If it does happen to early it is a sign of percocious puberty, a valid worry.

ehh...I don't completely believe that. What if a child comes from a very long line of hairy men? There are men with very dark hair that start getting the facial hair very early on and you know they likely have hair in other places as well by then.


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## MusicianDad

Quote:

Early puberty may be a variation of normal development, or may be a result of a *disease or abnormal hormone exposure.*
Bolding mine, I admit it's from wikipedia but I'm feeling a little too lazy to google right now and wade through the crud out there. So apparently early puberty can be cause for concern.

Quote:

But being comfortable with your human form can be done in the privacy of your own home. Any parent out there (by now) should be well aware of pedofiles. Making it easier for your child to be viewed by a pedofile makes the parent no better than they are.
Ok, you have basically just compared every naturalist and parent who lets their child run around less then fully clothed with a pedophile. All because _you_ have a different view on things then they do. That is incredibly insulting and completely uncalled for. I also don't think it was at all necessary to say either.


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## eclipse

I can't answer the question because my oldest is still too young for that, but I'm a little weirded out that so many people are weirded out at the thought of seeing a kid older than 8 or so naked. My son will be 8 in a few months and I doubt that between then and now he's going to suddenly cover up. Heck, he sees dh and me naked. I guess we're a naked family







.


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## lifeonearth

Well, I have been lurking around these boards for many years to find help with some issues. I dont post often, but I would like to respond to this post

My son came to me about 9 months ago ( he was 11 & 1/2 then) and told me during one of our nightly "conversation hour" that he had noticed he was growing hair on his privates. He is very open and honest with me about everything. He asks me questions about lots of different topics, sexual education is one. Im glad he feels comf ortable taking to me about these things.

I was always afraid to ask my parents questions, they werent very comfortable with the subject. I told myself then that I would never do that to my child.


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## Nautical

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SusanElizabeth* 
I think some things are private, especially when it's between a parent and child of opposite sexes. I accept the fact that there are differences in the way people are raised, and individual families acceptance of nudity.

If one of the fathers on this site posted a thread about his daughter and her pubic hair, would people think this was equally appropriate? If the dad said in his post that his 9-year old daughter had a "full on bush" and other dads then weighed in would people think it was OK? Or is this different?


I totally agree. If this were a dad about a girl, I would be very suspicious.

As for other comments, my brother didn't care to wear clothing until over the age of 8, so he was always naked. I don't have a ds, but both my brother (who very excitedly announced it) and my dh were 12.


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## mommyinIL1976

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SusanElizabeth* 
I think some things are private, especially when it's between a parent and child of opposite sexes. I accept the fact that there are differences in the way people are raised, and individual families acceptance of nudity.

If one of the fathers on this site posted a thread about his daughter and her pubic hair, would people think this was equally appropriate? If the dad said in his post that his 9-year old daughter had a "full on bush" and other dads then weighed in would people think it was OK? Or is this different?

You have identified a double-standard that really irks me in society today. I believe that this kind of mind-set especially in men has probably led to many poor relationships between fathers and daughters. So many men are worried about being labeled a pedophile that they avoid even innocuous situations/conversations involving their daughters. What a shame


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## MusicianDad

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommyinIL1976* 
You have identified a double-standard that really irks me in society today. I believe that this kind of mind-set especially in men has probably led to many poor relationships between fathers and daughters. So many men are worried about being labeled a pedophile that they avoid even innocuous situations/conversations involving their daughters. What a shame









It is a shame, especially since it's unavoidable in our house. It's one of the reasons we have a hard time finding someone to ask about dd, most people think it's weird that dh or I would want to know about bras or other 'female topics'.


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## Sisyphus

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
It is a shame, especially since it's unavoidable in our house. It's one of the reasons we have a hard time finding someone to ask about dd, most people think it's weird that dh or I would want to know about bras or other 'female topics'.

OK, it's official... MusicianDad... I love you







:







:







:

Don't worry, I'm not gonna stalk you... this week. ;-)

I wish you lived around the corner (or, dare I hope, next door!) to me... we could hang out and you could explain my boys stuff to me and I could explain your daughter's stuff to you









Feel free to PM me if you ever have girlie questions


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## LeftField

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oliversmum2000* 
really??? my ds will be 8 in 2 weeks and still needs for me to rinse the conditionner out of his hair otherwise it would be a sticky mess, he showers while his younger sibs bathe, he wonders around naked, he is an innocent little boy, i find it weird that you think there is anything wrong with seeing your son naked when he is still a little boy.

i plan to respect my sons boundaries and as his self awareness grows and he
needs more privacy i will absolutely respect that but for now he doesnt care

Ditto this. My boy is 7 1/2 and I still have to help him in the shower, especially with conditioner. He has no self-awareness yet anyway and so we see him changing with his door open and everything. 7 is a very much a little boy. I'm his MOTHER so it's not weird that I would still help him when he needs it. We're not like a naked family or anything but I'm shocked that some are shocked that a mother would see her own child naked at 7 or 8. They're little kids for heaven's sake!


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## Faerieshadow

I find it more disturbing that people would be "weirded out" by seeing their children naked. It wouldn't even occur to me to look at my ds's naked body with any feeling of weirdness - he's my son. If he wants privacy, great. If he feels comfortable being naked around family, that's fine too.


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## MusicianDad

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sisyphus* 
OK, it's official... MusicianDad... I love you







:







:







:

Don't worry, I'm not gonna stalk you... this week. ;-)

I wish you lived around the corner (or, dare I hope, next door!) to me... we could hang out and you could explain my boys stuff to me and I could explain your daughter's stuff to you









Feel free to PM me if you ever have girlie questions

















:

Thanks, and if you need help with boy stuff you can come to me.


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## Nautical

I think there is a big difference between asking normal puberty questions about pubic hair, especially as someone who went through precocious puberty, and using terms that I would consider graphic like "a full on bush." Even though we don't know each other's children, some aspect of privacy should remain in our posts, regardless of whether we are discussing same sex or opposite sex children.


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## harrietsmama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommy68* 








what did you just say?

I bet the pedofiles are happy in your neck of the woods. How scary that no one teaches those children better than that.









Trying to be moderate here, but perhaps the reason I am so freaked by this sort of reply is that I live very rurally where it is normal for kids to go skinny dipping etc at all ages. We all know where the weirdos live and who to stay away from. I had a pedophile for a step dad, and I still wouldn't have an issue with my kids doing stuff that's normal around here. I also don't care if they see me naked in the course of normal activity - dressing, in and out of the shower, it's 90 out and I can't stand to be clothed I often will sit down and 5 min later my night shirt is on the floor. when I get up I put it back on, but I am just so not a prude and I hope my kids won't ever be either. The only time I was encouraged to cover up is around my second step dad when I hit puberty, but I still was around my mom naked and me her.

Yes there are pedophiles out there, but I don't live my daily life in fear of them, I teach my kids about the icky feeling and to trust it.

returning to the original post, I can't add on the boy side, but I got mine at 9 as a girl.


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## mommy68

Quote:


Originally Posted by *harrietsmama* 
I also don't care if they see me naked in the course of normal activity - dressing, in and out of the shower, it's 90 out and I can't stand to be clothed I often will sit down and 5 min later my night shirt is on the floor. when I get up I put it back on, but I am just so not a prude and I hope my kids won't ever be either. The only time I was encouraged to cover up is around my second step dad when I hit puberty, but I still was around my mom naked and me her.

What you do in your own home has nothing to do with my earlier comment. I was replying to a post about someone stating they know that young boys are skinny dipping in public places in their town.







Under-age children out in public places totally naked don't fly with me. But that's MY opinion. Opinions are like, well you know, we all have 'em.









I also have not personally commented that I try to freak my own children out or scare them about pedophiles. To be totally honest, I'm not even sure how often I've talked about the issue with my children. It's not the first thing on my mind, that's for sure. But my children are aware of "any and all" types of stranger dangers.


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## harrietsmama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommy68* 
What you do in your own home has nothing to do with my earlier comment. I was replying to a post about someone stating they know that young boys are skinny dipping in public places in their town.







Under-age children out in public places totally naked don't fly with me. But that's MY opinion. Opinions are like, well you know, we all have 'em.









I also have not personally commented that I try to freak my own children out or scare them about pedophiles. To be totally honest, I'm not even sure how often I've talked about the issue with my children. It's not the first thing on my mind, that's for sure. But my children are aware of "any and all" types of stranger dangers.

I thought my original post, the part you snipped off, did have to do with your earlier comment. Kids around here do go skinny dipping and stuff around here. It may not be 'downtown', but they are DNR territories, state parks etc., along with popular swimming holes.


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## Oh the Irony

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Faerieshadow* 
I find it more disturbing that people would be "weirded out" by seeing their children naked. It wouldn't even occur to me to look at my ds's naked body with any feeling of weirdness - he's my son. If he wants privacy, great. If he feels comfortable being naked around family, that's fine too.









That's us too. My ten year old is very comfy being nude around me. He has no pubic hair as of yet.

A friend of his was spending the night and was so disturbed the next day by my 4 year old running around all nakey. He was telling him to get some clothes on and such. Seemed like there was some shame involved.

I love running around naked and hope my kids continue to like it. No problem if they don't though.


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## runnerbrit

My ds was proud when he got his first hair and ran in to tell dh and me. For him it is the beginning of a rite of passage on the way to becoming a man. I am thankful he is comfortable enough to share the milestone w/ us.


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## msladida

Thanks for this thread. I personally find it comforting to hear other parents experiences with these things. I just discovered that my 8 year old dd now has pubic hair. Whoa. I wasn't really expecting this so soon.
Its comforting to hear all the sweet stories about kids who like to tell their parents things. I hope my dd continues to feel she can trust me enough to share stuff throughout puberty.
I completely respect her privacy-I know I wanted it when I was going through that! But its also cool to get to have my 2 cents about body changes,puberty and the like. If she trusts me enough to share, I am honored and would never tell her it is TMI!








I'm glad I know that she is starting some changes, because it explains her recent COMPLETELY IRRATIONAL behavior, and makes me have more compassion around that. (Hey, I too was a hormonal emotional mess only 5 months ago only for a different reason.)
Also, we haven't done a ton of talking about puberty and sex, and I am now thinking I'd like to introduce that book I got her a while back but have been saving. I thought it would be another year or two at least before it became real relevant.
My sons are both little, but I don't think its at all abnormal for a boy to talk to his mom about these things. Unusual, I think, but not wrong or bad.
I don't relate to my kids a whole lot differently because of their gender, and I would welcome my sons using me as a friend and resource during puberty. In fact, I really think these boys who talk to their mamas and are comfortable with themselves must be very healthy. Puberty is such a tough time- the more confident kids feel and the more trustworthy resources they have for information and support, the better. Come on, how could that be unhealthy?

Also, I want to add my input as someone who has worked in sexual assault prevention, on the whole sexual abuse issue. Sexual abuse has nothing to do with whether a family is nude around each other or not.
The level of modesty around bodies is a cultural and personal issue that I'm quite certain has no bearing on a child's risk of being molested. There are many places in the world where it is ordinary for family members of all ages to bathe together, and it does not result in more sexual abuse.
I would say the same goes for public swimming nudity. That is not the typical situation that results in a kid being abused, though it is possible that a pedophile could be scoping out a public swimming area. Swimsuit or not, though, is not going to make a great deal of difference in their risk level in terms of sexual assault. If they are scoping kids out, they will be regardless of swimsuit or not.
Abuse happens to kids in families that have very strict codes of modesty, and in fact, may be more easy to keep a secret in these families since there may be a lot of quiet and shyness about bodies. Really, it can happen to anyone.
I would say our style is sort of middle of the road about these issues. In my house, my husband is modest and I am not. My kids get to choose how modest they want to be, though we have rules against clothing that we think is sexualizing, and we do make our children wear clothing in public after they are not babies. Also, we don't allow our littles to touch their genitals in front of people, mostly because its awkward and embarrassing! I also don't allow sex play between children in my house. I don't judge people who have different ways of dealing with these things.
The important thing is that kids feel loved, respected, and safe, and that they know their body is special. How conservative or liberal you are on these issues is not at all the point.
The only inoculation against sexual abuse is making sure your kids are self-confident, and can talk to you. It sounds like these families are doing a pretty amazing job with that, so I'd say their kids are likely at a lower risk of sexual exploitation than a lot of kids. Safe to say if anything happened, they know they could tell their mom. I think its great.


----------



## SandraS

I have no idea. At 15, however, he has a really good goatee - so he's a hairy kid!

ETA: And thank GOD the world is so safe I don't have to worry about pedophiles or child molesters or anyone abducting my kid. It's rare - not that the media would lead you to believe it. Just an afterthought after I caught up on reading the thread.


----------



## Jannah6

Mine was 8, he also started getting underarm hair. I was 8 too when these things started happening.


----------



## funkychunkymunky

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Nautical* 
If this were a dad about a girl, I would be very suspicious.

Why? My husband works in the medical field and if something were to happen to me, I'd be happy if my daughter were to feel comfortable enough to go to her father. Does this mean he's some kind of weirdo who is out to get his own daughter if he can answer questions about puberty?









Quote:


Originally Posted by *Faerieshadow* 
I find it more disturbing that people would be "weirded out" by seeing their children naked. It wouldn't even occur to me to look at my ds's naked body with any feeling of weirdness - he's my son. If he wants privacy, great. If he feels comfortable being naked around family, that's fine too.









Exactly.


----------



## mama2toomany

my 9 year old has no hair, hes always running around naked. He insists if he gets lonley someone come in and wash his back when he is in the bathroom, dh or me, he doesn't care.

My eldest 11 year old is the same way, he is starting to get hair and is needing more and more privacy.

My younger 11 year old, doesn't want anyone looking anywhere near him and doesn't want to see anyone else.

So he has a big problem with my 9 year olds lack of modestly, but hey to each there own, if my 9 yr old is confidant then i really don't care if he whips off his pajamas in the kitchen.


----------



## E_Ganderson

Some of the replies in this thread are pretty amazing.

Both of my DS's used to run around the house naked all the time. My older suddenly stopped at 11, but our state requires that for Doctor physicals, a parent has to be present in the room with his or her son or daughter until age 12, and so I saw that he had developed quite a bit.

Afterwards he said that he had become more private a few months back when younger DS started teasing him, and at first thought he was sick since bumps are the first signs of growing hair, and had even tried to "cut it off." In the 2 years since he again seems comfortable walking around nude occasionally, despite the fact he has started growing hair on his chest and in other places, and younger DS proudly announced the appearance of hair a few months ago. Maybe we're just weird...


----------



## SusanElizabeth

I am amazed that this thread is back. Ask yourself.......how would your son feel if he knew you were responding to this thread? If you can honestly say that it wouldn't bother him, then whatever.


----------



## thisiswhatwedo

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommy68* 








what did you just say?

I bet the pedofiles are happy in your neck of the woods. How scary that no one teaches those children better than that.









inaprropriate comment








but as I read on I see we've gone over it

I , as a female, didn't go through puberty until 14-15 years old and was told that was normal. I realize it is happening earlier now for many reasons and know people who went through puberty early, like 11 but my son is 13 and still bald on the parts I can see.
Let me say so we have some added voices here, my seven year old son still takes a bath with his five year old sister. He still runs around naked as does his sister and he still feels comfortable with sitting on my lap and sleeping in my bed. My 13 yo son slept in the same bed and me and his dad until his little brother was born when he was 6.5 and slept in the same room until he was 12. All of my kids feel free to come in the bathroom when I am in the shower.
not seeing my 7 year old naked? he is a first grader and still has some baby left in him. My five year old and seven year old still miss nursing...
maybe we are on some extreme end but my 7 year old being nude is totally normal to me.


----------



## thisiswhatwedo

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SusanElizabeth* 
I am amazed that this thread is back. Ask yourself.......how would your son feel if he knew you were responding to this thread? If you can honestly say that it wouldn't bother him, then whatever.

he'd be embarrassed, which is why I'd never discuss it around him, or let anyone here know his identity, but it is very important for parents to feel like their kids are growing normally. We don't ask our sons if they have pubic hair because we respect their privacy, that doesn't mean we don't care about their growing bodies. If we are willing to talk about when they got their first tooth, then what is so bad about when they got their first pubic hair?????


----------



## yoanna_mother

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SusanElizabeth* 
I am amazed that this thread is back. Ask yourself.......how would your son feel if he knew you were responding to this thread? If you can honestly say that it wouldn't bother him, then whatever.

Mother has every reason to be concerned about how her teen age child of either gender is developing. In most societies and in the nature the mother is responsible for the mental and physical development of her offspring (motherhood) and ought to have knowledge of child's health and stage of physical development on first hand. Society concedes a parent to take decisions instead of underage child until come of age. That applies to a great extent when be speaking for physical development and health. It is very important for a parent to monitor child's development so that any possible problems can be identified and treated as early as possible. It is quite possible for shy pubescent boy because of shame to save symptoms about any aberration of normal physical development or health, not aware of their importance. The medical office policy in most societies requires a parent or guardian to be present during the exam. That afford an quite legitimate opportunity and acceptable excuse to the mother to become acquainted about the stage of development of her kid. The mother, who witness the rise of her child from the birth and without any doubt is familiar with his body, will be irreplaceable doctors assistant.


----------



## karne

There's a lot of talk on this forum about helping our daughters who are pre-adolescent and adolescent celebrate their changes. I just don't see why we would think differently for our sons? Isn't this a normal part of parenting? I expect it will be with my son.


----------



## BAU3

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sisyphus* 
OK, it's official... MusicianDad... I love you







:







:







:

Don't worry, I'm not gonna stalk you... this week. ;-)

I wish you lived around the corner (or, dare I hope, next door!) to me... we could hang out and you could explain my boys stuff to me and I could explain your daughter's stuff to you









Feel free to PM me if you ever have girlie questions









I agree with sisyphus, musiciandad! I won't judge you or think your w wierdo if you want to talk about your daughter and puberty etc... i wouldn't judge you even if you wanteed to talk about your daughter and puberty if there were a woman in your home. Its totally ok with me for men to to be interested in their daughters development and want to know and be involved in their maturity.
Growing up and becoming men and women is something every single person on this earth does... I'm of the mindset that its something to be celebrated and talked about. Its ok with me if other moms or dads want to ignore it or think its none of their business.. but I don't think they should judge others for thier interest in it...especially a dad.

feel free to pm me,too... musiciandad! I'm no expert but I am a girl!


----------



## darcytrue

I have no idea.







He's 14 now and has a little dark moustache and has for a little over a year and he has dark hairs on his legs like his dad, but he has dark hair anyway so it's hard to tell. I'm sure he has it by now but as far as "when" he got it I have no idea. None of my business really. It's not something I feel I need to know. But I have nothing against those that want to know this type of thing. I've just never really put that much thought in to it.


----------



## Marsupialmom

I have no idea for my son. My dd at 9 didn't have any but she slowly got more modest. She is 11 and how has it, starting boobs, and just got her first period.


----------



## Marsupialmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SusanElizabeth* 
I think some things are private, especially when it's between a parent and child of opposite sexes. I accept the fact that there are differences in the way people are raised, and individual families acceptance of nudity.

If one of the fathers on this site posted a thread about his daughter and her pubic hair, would people think this was equally appropriate? If the dad said in his post that his 9-year old daughter had a "full on bush" and other dads then weighed in would people think it was OK? Or is this different?

It could be very appropriate. He is a dad he DOES NOT know. He might need some norms. Yes "full bush" is a bad choice of words but sometimes we were not raised or had education with any other terms. It also can be shocking to a parent to realize how much hair, esspeically if it is a lot, their child has.

I have one male friend that is a sahd. His wife was out of state working when there dd got their first period. He called me to ask me question on what to tell his dd about using tampons. He never thought of buying KY to help her insert it. Or spreading legs or anything. Out of his field. And his Wife was not avialable at the momment and it was an emergancy situation. DD refused to use a pad (diaper).

Another dad friend is a single dad. He called his ex. She told him it was his problem....he called me.

Another dad that talk to his wife but he found out how much hair in the ER his dd had. He was curious at that age if it was normal. Because of the situation and he didn't feel it being that important he waited to ask his wife discreately.

At swim team we (me and a friend with 5 girls) were asked about periods, first periods, et because they felt it was comming. They have ask questions "is this normal". My friend with 5 kids is a nurse plus 1 of 4 girls with 5 girls. She had to ask "is this normal" for her only son.

It can be harder to find information on boys and puberty than girls and puberty. Matter of fact our boys are at more health risk simply because male health isn't discuss. Women will group together. Men are taught "man up" not talk about it, be strong. Asking if it normal for pubic hair in boys at 9 is in the realms of norms--esspecially since mom isn't a boy. More and more boys are raised in single mom homes. There is no male around to say "Yep, that is normal or happen to me." That is why we have to reach out to each other. Plus it makes it more OK for boys to talk about their changing bodies and health.

Yes my kids would be embarrassed if they knew I have asked questions and shared information but it was all done discreately.


----------



## SusanElizabeth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Marsupialmom* 
It could be very appropriate. He is a dad he DOES NOT know. He might need some norms. Yes "full bush" is a bad choice of words but sometimes we were not raised or had education with any other terms. It also can be shocking to a parent to realize how much hair, esspeically if it is a lot, their child has.

*I have one male friend that is a sahd. His wife was out of state working when there dd got their first period. He called me to ask me question on what to tell his dd about using tampons. He never thought of buying KY to help her insert it. Or spreading legs or anything. Out of his field. And his Wife was not avialable at the momment and it was an emergancy situation.* DD refused to use a pad (diaper).

He couldn't reach his wife? At all? And his daughter,when getting her *very first period* refused to use pads?


----------



## Just My Opinion

This thread is so sad. It is so sad for me to think that (God forbid) if something happened to me, dh could potentially be villified, or called out as a pedophile, for asking a question about HIS OWN DAUGHTER. I know bad things happen to kids, I am not naive -- however, if anyone actually believes the majority of child molesters are ones openly asking questions as to the commonality/normalcy of pubic hair at a certain age, you are dead wrong. In fact, the molesters are likely to be the ones who are "shocked" at questions like that, and who think "kids should be protected at all costs!" and whatnot.

There is nothing wrong with the naked body, so long as everyone involved feels safe, comfortable, and not shamed or embarrassed. DD is four and still has no problem being naked in front of dh -- it pains me so much to think someone would think something ugly about their relationship because of it. My husband is a tad more modest than I am, so I don't know how comfortable he would be around her nakedness as a pre-teen (it would have far more to do with his hang-ups though, then it being wrong) -- but to infer that there is something inappropriate about a close, innocent relationship between a parent/child simply because their gender differs, is sick to me.

It says far more about the person suspecting inpropriety than anything else, imo.


----------



## Sharlla

He's 10 and doesn't have any. He has a habit of stripping down before he makes it into the bathroom LOL


----------



## SusanElizabeth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Just My Opinion* 
This thread is so sad. It is so sad for me to think that (God forbid) if something happened to me, dh could potentially be villified, or called out as a pedophile, for asking a question about HIS OWN DAUGHTER. I know bad things happen to kids, I am not naive -- however, if anyone actually believes the majority of child molesters are ones openly asking questions as to the commonality/normalcy of pubic hair at a certain age, you are dead wrong. In fact, the molesters are likely to be the ones who are "shocked" at questions like that, and who think "kids should be protected at all costs!" and whatnot.

There is nothing wrong with the naked body, so long as everyone involved feels safe, comfortable, and not shamed or embarrassed. DD is four and still has no problem being naked in front of dh -- *it pains me so much to think someone would think something ugly about their relationship because of it.* My husband is a tad more modest than I am, so I don't know how comfortable he would be around her nakedness as a pre-teen (it would have far more to do with his hang-ups though, then it being wrong) -- but to infer that there is something inappropriate about a close, innocent relationship between a parent/child simply because their gender differs, is sick to me.

It says far more about the person suspecting inpropriety than anything else, imo.

Your daughter is FOUR YEARS OLD. It's ridiculous to compare the nakedness of a FOUR YEAR OLD to that of a child who is pre-pubescent.


----------



## ThreeJane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Marsupialmom* 
It could be very appropriate. He is a dad he DOES NOT know. He might need some norms. Yes "full bush" is a bad choice of words but sometimes we were not raised or had education with any other terms. It also can be shocking to a parent to realize how much hair, esspeically if it is a lot, their child has.

it seems to me that people are freaking out over the term "bush" being used. Is there another, more appropriate term that you would feel comfortable with?

Thatch?

Patch?

Arbusto?

Just trying to lighten things up a bit. How would you describe someone who had, um, a luxuriant growth of pubic hair?

Some of the gut reaction to "bush" might be that it's a fairly derogatory term for a woman's...thatch...patch...vee...of hair as well.

Try to get past that and help the OP with her question. FTR, my son is 11 and I don't believe he has much. He's about 50-50 with nudity, and the last time I saw (he has a small mole on his scrotum and asked me to look), he had downy blond hair. He has lots of arm and leg hair though.

I think this is a rational question and an interesting discussion, if only to see how some can get overly upset about a simple question.

Carry on!


----------



## Mountaingirl79

How did I not see this thread before? LOL First, when I saw that 9 - 10 year old boys had pubic hair, I was like " What? " I even turned to dh and mentioned my surprise. LOL Guess I need to have the puberty talk with ds sooner than later.
I don't think talking about it is shameful at all. It's the same to me as talking about when to expect your dd to start her AF. We have to ask each others advice, there's no rule book.
My oldest ds is pretty shy about changing and bathing in front of us, and has been since he was about 6. But we still change clothes from time to time in the same area, like for swimming and stuff. He comes to me with whatever weird thing he thinks he might have going on with his body. I'm glad. i want my kids to be able to ask me anything. There is really nothing about this human experience that can't be talked about. Nothing to be ashamed about.









ETA: "Bush" seems to be triggering some, but I cant figure out why. It's a word we use to describe our own pubes, isn't it?? I have no problem with it. It's not like we're teaching our kids to say "bush" but we're all adults here right?


----------



## Marsupialmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SusanElizabeth* 
He couldn't reach his wife? At all? And his daughter,when getting her *very first period* refused to use pads?

Read a little more careful.........she was out of state. We live in MO she was in NY working. Business meetings are not always interuptable -esspecially when you are to soul bread winner.

She felt that pads to be like diaper that everyone could see. Every girl is different, some refuse pads - some refuse tampons. There closest relatives are an hour away. I am 5 minutes a way-- she has known me since she was 2ish.

He got someone he knew she would be comfortable with. They had pads there avialable. They didn't figure she would have that reaction to them. But that is her body and her decission. They might have tried different pads since then.

My own dd just got her first. She is on the swim team. She used tampons on her first period. No problem. I think she perfers them. Hey it is her body - her choice


----------



## 1littlebit

It makes me so terribly sad that all of the fabulous, loving fathers in the world who would chew off their own arm to spare their daughters an ounce of pain would be suspected of ill intentions for asking a questing regarding her development once puberty hits.

it makes me sad for every wonderful and loving man in my life who is or will one day be a father. i hate to think of them knowing people wonder about their love for their daughters b/c they are men. it puts men in a horrible position. they are distrusted simply because they are men. and it would break the hearts of many men to know how suspicious people can be.


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
If the boys cover up, the pedophiles will still be there and still watch. Just because you wouldn't do it, doesn't mean that someone should have "taught them better." *Clearly someone felt that teaching them to be comfortable with the human form as it was intended was more important.*











Quote:


Originally Posted by *LionessMom* 
DS likes to share that kind of info with me. he was so excited about it that he came running to tell me he found his first. i didnt look to confirm. he had just turned 13. 3 mo later he was being a goof and flashed me (topic for another thread). apparently it grew by leaps and bounds. i am happy for him. he is so proud to have finally caught up with the other boys in his class (you know they take showers after football practice right). he delights in his growing and changing body. i would like to help him celebrate this change rather than shy away from it. puberty is hard enough as it is.

This sounds very healthy, LionessMom









Quote:


Originally Posted by *eclipse* 
I can't answer the question because my oldest is still too young for that, but I'm a little weirded out that so many people are weirded out at the thought of seeing a kid older than 8 or so naked. My son will be 8 in a few months and I doubt that between then and now he's going to suddenly cover up. Heck, he sees dh and me naked. I guess we're a naked family







.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *runnerbrit* 
My ds was proud when he got his first hair and ran in to tell dh and me. For him it is the beginning of a rite of passage on the way to becoming a man. I am thankful he is comfortable enough to share the milestone w/ us.









I agree that is great that he has no shame regarding his changing body and is excited to share his joy about the natural transformation.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *msladida* 
Thanks for this thread. I personally find it comforting to hear other parents experiences with these things. I just discovered that my 8 year old dd now has pubic hair. Whoa. I wasn't really expecting this so soon.
Its comforting to hear all the sweet stories about kids who like to tell their parents things. I hope my dd continues to feel she can trust me enough to share stuff throughout puberty.
I completely respect her privacy-I know I wanted it when I was going through that! But its also cool to get to have my 2 cents about body changes,puberty and the like. If she trusts me enough to share, I am honored and would never tell her it is TMI!








I'm glad I know that she is starting some changes, because it explains her recent COMPLETELY IRRATIONAL behavior, and makes me have more compassion around that. (Hey, I too was a hormonal emotional mess only 5 months ago only for a different reason.)
Also, we haven't done a ton of talking about puberty and sex, and I am now thinking I'd like to introduce that book I got her a while back but have been saving. I thought it would be another year or two at least before it became real relevant.
My sons are both little, but I don't think its at all abnormal for a boy to talk to his mom about these things. Unusual, I think, but not wrong or bad.
I don't relate to my kids a whole lot differently because of their gender, and I would welcome my sons using me as a friend and resource during puberty. In fact, I really think these boys who talk to their mamas and are comfortable with themselves must be very healthy. Puberty is such a tough time- the more confident kids feel and the more trustworthy resources they have for information and support, the better. Come on, how could that be unhealthy?

Also, I want to add my input as someone who has worked in sexual assault prevention, on the whole sexual abuse issue. Sexual abuse has nothing to do with whether a family is nude around each other or not.
The level of modesty around bodies is a cultural and personal issue that I'm quite certain has no bearing on a child's risk of being molested. There are many places in the world where it is ordinary for family members of all ages to bathe together, and it does not result in more sexual abuse.
I would say the same goes for public swimming nudity. That is not the typical situation that results in a kid being abused, though it is possible that a pedophile could be scoping out a public swimming area. Swimsuit or not, though, is not going to make a great deal of difference in their risk level in terms of sexual assault. If they are scoping kids out, they will be regardless of swimsuit or not.
Abuse happens to kids in families that have very strict codes of modesty, and in fact, may be more easy to keep a secret in these families since there may be a lot of quiet and shyness about bodies. Really, it can happen to anyone.
I would say our style is sort of middle of the road about these issues. In my house, my husband is modest and I am not. My kids get to choose how modest they want to be, though we have rules against clothing that we think is sexualizing, and we do make our children wear clothing in public after they are not babies. Also, we don't allow our littles to touch their genitals in front of people, mostly because its awkward and embarrassing! I also don't allow sex play between children in my house. I don't judge people who have different ways of dealing with these things.
The important thing is that kids feel loved, respected, and safe, and that they know their body is special. How conservative or liberal you are on these issues is not at all the point.
The only inoculation against sexual abuse is making sure your kids are self-confident, and can talk to you. It sounds like these families are doing a pretty amazing job with that, so I'd say their kids are likely at a lower risk of sexual exploitation than a lot of kids. Safe to say if anything happened, they know they could tell their mom. I think its great.

I agree with your post Msladida.

I voted '11' for my 12 year old stepson... he wanted his vote to count. (He was reading over my shoulder and told me to vote 11 for him.) He also wants to add that he thinks the average is between the ages of 10 and 14.


----------



## 1littlebit

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 
I voted '11' for my 12 year old stepson... he wanted his vote to count. (He was reading over my shoulder and told me to vote 11 for him.) He also wants to add that he thinks the average is between the ages of 10 and 14.

well here is one kid who doesn't mind people posting about pubic hair. i have never typed so much about pubic hair in my whole life.


----------



## eclipse

Quote:


Originally Posted by *1littlebit* 
well here is one kid who doesn't mind people posting about pubic hair. i have never typed so much about pubic hair in my whole life.

Between this and the shaving thread, I think I'm done with pubic hair for awhile







.


----------



## 1littlebit

for real. who knew pubes were such a hot topic.


----------



## doctorjen

I realize this is different because of my professional position, but I had a young man in the office not too long ago and at the end of the visit he went to his mom (who'd been in the room for the visit which was not related to any puberty concern) and said in a low voice "don't forget to tell her about my hair!" To which she responded that he wanted her to tell me that he now had pubic hair and underarm hair. When she told me, he said happily "I'm getting to be a man!" and I congratulated him. I thought it was great that he'd not only shared with his mother, but that she'd made him feel comfortable enough that this was something to be proudly announced to his doctor! He was almost 13.

We tend to be fairly naked in our house around just the family. Neither of my boys is much for privacy. My older dd is very modest, and I wouldn't dream of invading her privacy - I always knock on her door, would never come in the bathroom when she was in there, etc. My 12 yr old son still doesn't think before coming in the bathroom when he needs me! He also doesn't think much about getting undressed for a shower in front of me, or changing quickly if we are together somewhere, but he is no longer as casual about nakedness as he used to be, and we all respect that. I think there is a lot of difference in individual and family comfort levels. I find it odd personally that someone would find it unusual to see their child of either gender naked after the age of 7 or 8, and even odder the attitude that when they get pubic hair is none of a parent's business. I think it's disappointing that we feel no need to acknowledge the stages of life our children move through - perhaps there would be less shame and fear if kids felt these things were to be celebrated and embraced instead of their parents trying not to notice.


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *doctorjen* 
I find it odd personally that someone would find it unusual to see their child of either gender naked after the age of 7 or 8, and even odder the attitude that when they get pubic hair is none of a parent's business. I think it's disappointing that we feel no need to acknowledge the stages of life our children move through - perhaps there would be less shame and fear if kids felt these things were to be celebrated and embraced instead of their parents trying not to notice.


----------



## borbonmamma

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SusanElizabeth* 
OK - I have to admit that this is perplexing to me. Do people look at their kids pubic hair? I understand that kind of involvement with a little kid. Please explain.

LOL!
My son is 7, no pubic hair yet but really he's my son I don't understand why me knowing would be weird, I'm sure that when it grows he'll show me with excitement to tell me he's becoming a man







In his own words of course.


----------



## SusanElizabeth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *borbonmamma* 
LOL!
My son is 7, no pubic hair yet but really he's my son I don't understand why me knowing would be weird, I'm sure that when it grows he'll show me with excitement to tell me he's becoming a man







In his own words of course.

It must be nice to be so confident about what your 7 year old son will be like at 13 or 14.

And it must also be nice to know that he would be happy about his mother posting descriptions of his "bush" and how hairy it is on a public website. He must be really cool.

And if you have a daughter, I'm sure you would think it's great that she show your husband when she's "becoming a woman". He would want to see that right?


----------



## MusicianDad

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SusanElizabeth* 
It must be nice to be so confident about what your 7 year old son will be like at 13 or 14.

And it must also be nice to know that he would be happy about his mother posting descriptions of his "bush" and how hairy it is on a public website. He must be really cool.

And if you have a daughter, I'm sure you would think it's great that she show your husband when she's "becoming a woman". He would want to see that right?

First off, it might not be 13 or 14 when her son starts getting pubic hair.

Second off, not all teenagers are afraid to tell their parents such things.

Third off, he might not have a problem with his mother telling people that he is comfortable talking to his mom.

Fourth off, some girls _do_ announce changes they go through to their dad. A bit obvious I to say, I know, but DD was perfectly happy to announce when she needed a bra while sitting down to breakfast one morning.


----------



## SusanElizabeth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
First off, it might not be 13 or 14 when her son starts getting pubic hair.

*Second off, not all teenagers are afraid to tell their parents such things.*
Third off, he might not have a problem with his mother telling people that he is comfortable talking to his mom.

Fourth off, some girls _do_ announce changes they go through to their dad. A bit obvious I to say, I know, but DD was perfectly happy to announce when she needed a bra while sitting down to breakfast one morning.

There's a HUGE difference between talking to your parent about changes you are going through, and the parent posting that information on a public website. I am a woman and I would have been mortified as a teenager, if I found out that my father discussed this kind of information about me online, even if the readers didn't know who I was. I would have considered it an incredible violation and betrayal. And honestly, I can't believe that you don't seem to make the distiction between "private areas" "private information, and public information.


----------



## MusicianDad

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SusanElizabeth* 
There's a HUGE difference between talking to your parent about changes you are going through, and the parent posting that information on a public website. I am a woman and I would have been mortified as a teenager, if I found out that my father discussed this kind of information about me online, even if the readers didn't know who I was. I would have considered it an incredible violation and betrayal. And honestly, I can't believe that you don't seem to make the distiction between "private areas" "private information, and public information.

The distinction is determined by both parties. If parent and child have no problem with information being discussed anonymously online then why should your idea of what is private be used?

I am wondering if you read past the part you bolded because I do state in the next line that not all teenagers feel the same way you would as a teen.


----------



## BAU3

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SusanElizabeth* 
It must be nice to be so confident about what your 7 year old son will be like at 13 or 14.

And it must also be nice to know that he would be happy about his mother posting descriptions of his "bush" and how hairy it is on a public website. He must be really cool.

And if you have a daughter, I'm sure you would think it's great that she show your husband when she's "becoming a woman". He would want to see that right?

It seems that this is a pretty upsetting subject for you, and I'm sorry that you feel no one understands where you're coming from.

I do understand what you're saying.. I just don't agree









I hope when my dd is going through puberty that she will share that with her dad.. only time will tell, but I do know that when that time comes, and she does share it with him, that he will show just as much enthusiasm and delight that he showed yesterday when she showed him her poop in her potty chair.


----------



## Toolip

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BAU3* 
I hope when my dd is going through puberty that she will share that with her dad.. only time will tell, but I do know that when that time comes, and she does share it with him, that he will show just as much enthusiasm and delight that he showed yesterday when she showed him her poop in her potty chair.


----------



## SusanElizabeth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BAU3* 
It seems that this is a pretty upsetting subject for you, and I'm sorry that you feel no one understands where you're coming from.

I
I hope when my dd is going through puberty that she will share that with her dad.. only time will tell, but I do know that when that time comes, and *she does share it with him, that he will show just as much enthusiasm and delight that he showed yesterday when she showed him her poop in her potty chair.*


ok


----------



## 1littlebit

i dont know how a kid would know their parents are posting about this online.. its not like we all scan our ID cards next to our user names


----------



## SnapCracklePop

My ds was 9. He told me about it and asked me to look. He is pretty modest about nudity, and we respect that. He does want me to help him shower sometimes and says "don't look", but he will also do a quick change in front of us. I don't feel weird about seeing him naked, he is my son.


----------



## MusicianDad

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SusanElizabeth* 
[/B]

So you are saying that, because your dd is showing enthusiasm and delight with her poop in the potty, that this means that when she is going through puberty she will be equally willing to show her dad her pubic hair???

By that reasoning, why is it that in many nursery school, including the ones that my kids went to, the toilets are all in one big unseparated room with no difference between the boys and girls going to the bathroom? I never minded this and neither did any of the other parents. So why, if adults can keep that same level of open-mindedness, don't men and women all share the same bathroom with no partitions between the stalls? What's the big deal?

Society in general teaches to be ashamed of our bodies. Hide it all!

Not every family is like that.


----------



## 1littlebit

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
Society in general teaches to be ashamed of our bodies. Hide it all!

Not every family is like that.

thank god or i would have never learned so much about pubes


----------



## SusanElizabeth

When your child is old enough to have pubic hair they are also old enough to hit the "search history" button when they log into the internet. If you can honestly say that a child with pubic hair would not be in any way upset by seeing that his or her parent is posting about this on the internet, then go ahead and post away. If you think that they would feel that there is a difference between their pride about their poop when they were 2 or 3 years old, and their feelings of privacy about their bodies when they are changing, then maybe you should think twice about this thread.


----------



## Youngfrankenstein




----------



## BAU3

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SusanElizabeth* 
When your child is old enough to have pubic hair they are also old enough to hit the "search history" button when they log into the internet. If you can honestly say that a child with pubic hair would not be in any way upset by seeing that his or her parent is posting about this on the internet, then go ahead and post away. If you think that they would feel that there is a difference between their pride about their poop when they were 2 or 3 years old, and their feelings of privacy about their bodies when they are changing, then maybe you should think twice about this thread.

As you previously mentioned, these are two seperate issues... some take issue with one.. some take issue with the other. I don't think anyone is confusing the two.

I do understand that some adolescents could be upset by their parents talking about thier pubic hair, on the internet or otherwise. But some may not ( as seen by a pp who said her ds saw the thread.

I suppose that every parent here has to make that choice.


----------



## littlemomma

SE, are you feeling sad that your child was not as open with you as some on this thread claim their kids were?

I hid ALL things puberty related from my mom and everyone, even my first period. i did not want attention, and i did not want to grow up.

it had nothing to do with my mom- she was wonderful.


----------



## BAU3

Quote:


Originally Posted by *littlemomma* 
SE, are you feeling sad that your child was not as open with you as some on this thread claim their kids were?

I hid ALL things puberty related from my mom and everyone, even my first period. i did not want attention, and i did not want to grow up.

it had nothing to do with my mom- she was wonderful.

(me too....)


----------



## JustVanessa

OP- I think you have a right to be worried and to be honest, I WILL be looking at my children past the age of 7.

Here is the reason why....my dp started having puberty related changes at age 7. My MIL was worried and took him to the doctor, they ran a bunch of tests and concluded that his adrenal gland was running at a higher than normal level. This was back in the early 1970's and they didn't do anything about it.
Fast forward-My dp is less than 5 ft tall. Due to his over-production of testosterone, his bone plates fused early and he never reached full height. He also has a lot of body hair and a very over-active sex drive.
Nowadays=this can be prevented and I would do anything I can to prevent it considering how dp had a very very hard time growing up and getting teased.

The first indicator my MIL had was pubic hair.


----------



## Maiasaura

Amazing thread. I can't believe I read through the whole thing, and that it became a forum for arguments about terminology and whether or not it's OK for a parent to be privy to their child's development!

I came on here, genuinely curious, because I am a single mother of an 8-1/2yo boy, and I wanted to know the consensus. There are no males, family or otherwise, for ds to ask anything. Dang if I didn't get much of an answer. My boy is naked as much as he can be, in the house. He wears clothing otherwise, and wouldn't be caught dead naked even on the porch at 7am when nobody's around and there are trees to shield him.

He has no qualms about being naked in front of me, and while I don't run around naked (not an issue about nudity, just self-consciousness about my fat, but he doesn't see that-- he prolly doesn't even notice that I'm not as nekkid as him in a day) I am not shy about changing/going potty/showering around him. Though I have gotten shyer about pooping with the door open, as he's gotten older.

That said, I came on here for two reasons:
One is, I have noticed small downy hairs on his pubic area. We've talked about puberty, and we're very open about the coming changes. He's not at all shy about talking to me. I'm sure he may show me his changes. The downy hairs he has are very, very light and since I don't scrutinize his pubic area, I was wanting to find out if they are normal downy body hairs, such as everyone has on, say, their arms, or if they're the beginning of actual pubic hair.
Two is, for the very first time, the other day (yesterday?) as we were reading in bed, I leaned over him for a hug, and <gasp> his armpit _smelled_ oh so very slightly like BO!!!!







He has never smelled before. He's only 8-1/2.

Could he be starting puberty?? This early?


----------



## oldcrunchymom

My ds started being modest around age 10, so it was after that. He's 13 now so I would guess 12 because he has some underarm hair now (not a ton of it but he does have some).


----------



## yoanna_mother

"Parents are the best people to monitor their child's growth and development. They are the people who know their children best. Health professionals act as partners to parents in this process. It is important to monitor your child's development so that any possible problems can be identified and treated as early as possible. Children grow and develop very quickly, especially the teenagers. If some problems are not discovered and treated early, it can lead to further problems later in life". However, there is a rather delicate point along these lines of thinking. How to update your impressions about your child`s physical development if you are single parent of opposite gender and probably have stop seeing him nude after reach certain age.


----------



## BelovedK

Hi all









I just wanted to let you know that several posts have been removed in the interest of keeping this thread peaceful. If there are issues between the posters, it is asked that you take it to PM. Thank you, BK~


----------



## tiffani

sometimes I really _wish_ my kids were more modest around the house when they're feeling particularly goofy and exhibitionistic







but I feel rather proud that my dh and I have overcome our baggage and allowed our kids to feel comfortable with their bodies around family members. I don't ever want my kids to feel uncomfortable being naked around us, and I can't think of a single reason why they *should*... I have an acquaintance who has skinny dipped with her entire family her whole life, and while I don't think I'd go so far as to take photos of these events and hang them in my bathroom (I think it's a big source of pride for her that her family is so comfortable with each other), I would love for my family to continue to be completely comfortable naked around each other throughout our lives. Not that I want us to make a point of being naked for nudity's sake, but being part of a family can be pretty intimate at times, and I want us to all always feel comfortable with that. I also understand that part of it is just personality, and some are naturally more modest than others, and I would always respect that -- I imagine that as my kids enter puberty they'll get more private, though they are all to happy to show it off now!









oh but wait, that wasn't the question!







My dd just turned 10 and started getting pubic hair a few months ago, and my son is 8 and I can't even imagine having to think about it for several years, especially considering he JUST lost his front teeth!


----------



## itsrtimedownhere

i don't know about pubes but my 10 year old brother called me from across the country to tell me he was growing armpit hair. when i'm home, he will change in front of me. if it's not a big deal for him, it's not for me.


----------



## Theoretica

I voted other because I can't fathom what would possess my (formerly ardent nudist) 16yo son to share that information with me.

If I had to guess I'd say 12, because that's around the time he started really being 'private' with changing clothes etc. and I'm guessing there was a good reason for it







I respect their right to privacy and don't intrude, and we're certainly not a prudish family by any stretch of the imagination!


----------



## littleteapot

The sexualizing of the father/daughter relationship on this thread is REALLY disturbing me. Owning a penis does not make one a pedophile.
Maybe I'm in the minority here, but I know my husband (and dad, for that matter) are decent men. My teenage sister has come out in a towel many times in front of my husband and somehow he remained *not a pedophile...* which is apparently amazing? This is a weird thread, y'all.

Anyway...
I asked him for his own experience and he said around 12 or 11. I was 14.


----------



## tiffani

Quote:


Originally Posted by *littleteapot* 
The sexualizing of the father/daughter relationship on this thread is REALLY disturbing me. Owning a penis does not make one a pedophile.

right, I wanted to comment on that and forgot... not that I have much to add other than







... why wouldn't a father, especially a single father or a father who was, for whatever reason, in a position to be the one to help his daughter through any variety of puberty moments, be every bit as interested, willing, and able to help his daughter, as mothers would their sons or daughters?

I honestly don't think it would be any different for my husband to help our daughter navigate a first period than it was when he changed her diaper. less hands on, most likely, but she is and will always be his baby, regardless of hair sprouting or fat depositing, or what have you. SHE might feel differently when the time comes, but now, at age 10, she wouldn't feel at all uncomfortable about asking him for help with ANYTHING at all, and she is still happy to be nekkid at home, even with things starting to sprout here and there...


----------



## MusicianDad

It is very comforting to know that there are still people in this world who won't stick a creepy lable on the fact that DD talks about everything puberty related with DH and I.


----------



## SusanElizabeth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *littleteapot* 
The sexualizing of the father/daughter relationship on this thread is REALLY disturbing me. Owning a penis does not make one a pedophile.
Maybe I'm in the minority here, but I know my husband (and dad, for that matter) are decent men. My teenage sister has come out in a towel many times in front of my husband and somehow he remained *not a pedophile...* which is apparently amazing? This is a weird thread, y'all.

Anyway...
I asked him for his own experience and he said around 12 or 11. I was 14.


----------



## 2xy

I haven't seen my boys naked since they were seven or so. No idea when they developed pubic hair. I think the older one was 12 or so when he got underarm hair, and the younger one was 13.

I just want to comment on something. I like to be dressed. I'm not a horrible prude or ashamed of the human form. I just feel more comfortable with clothes on, just like I sleep better with a sheet even if it's really hot in the room. Maybe it's a security thing. I never told my boys to cover up. They just did. I bathed/showered with DS2 until he was six or so, at which point he preferred to shower alone.

They never ran around naked as toddlers/preschoolers, either. I know lots of small children like to be naked; mine didn't have any interest in it.

Even as a kid, I liked to be clothed. My parents were very free with their nakedness. By the time I was ten or eleven, I was sort of grossed out by seeing my parents' genitalia while we ate dinner. Seriously. Nobody taught me that nudity was bad or gross; I had my own brain with my own thoughts and came to that conclusion myself. Preferring to be dressed doesn't make anyone a bad person or an extremist.

As for the skinny dipping/pedophile discussion, I think the whole argument is ridiculous. Pedophiles target children who are accessible, plain and simple. Children who are swimming are usually supervised.


----------



## Dar

Some posts have been remove because they referred to a now-deleted post. Remember, the red triangle is your friend!


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## MCatLvrMom2A&X

My ds just turned 5 so I have a few years I hope before the issue comes up. If he stays like he is now then I am sure I will see when it happens









I am happy to know that it can happen as early as 8 because I had no idea.


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## amynbebes

Not a clue, he'll be 13 in a few weeks. He did proudly brag that he thinks he's getting armpit hair but I think he's seeing things


----------



## Debzmomof1

I have read all the replies and find it odd that everyone thinks it odd that you see you son naked.

My son is 8 and doesnt have a problem with undressing in front of me for his shower. I still have to go assist him to wash most the time as he doesnt do it. (he has ADHD) However i dont feel his condition is the reason he doesnt care about being naked in front of his mother. He is my son, I gave birth to him so whats the problem with nudity.

Anyway he is 8 like i said and has absolutely no signs of pubic hair.

x


----------



## philomom

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *jennifer_lc1*
> 
> ... am i the only one who won't be looking at their childs body after 7 or 8?? that just irks me.


My son got the "natural modesty" thing kick in about the time he went to school. I haven't seen him wholly naked since then. My daughter, on the other hand .. is like me.. casual .....about nakedness and skin. I've seen her naked many, many times.


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## kyndmamaof4

So I know this is maddddd old, but this is my thread so lol....I still see my son nekkid, and he is 13. We are a family of six, me, DH, 3 boys and the youngest being a girl. There is no modesty here, we don't walk around naked all day, but there are 3 or 4 of us running daily for a towel, underpants, etc. NBD. I never in my whole being thought on MDC I would EVER have a problem posting about something mentioning such a natural thing as nudity. Anyhow, it turns out he's COMPLETLY normal, no PP, nada. He's a totally normal 13 yo...he's not even showing a lot of interest in having a girlfriend yet. He just is gonna be hairy maybe? Lol. So anywho, I remember when I first joined MDC I posted on way old threads and always wished the OP would answer back lol so here ya go!


----------



## Sharlla

have no idea but ds2 asked why ds1 had hair down there like his dad so im assuming 12ish. i dont see the boys nude after 7-8 either


----------



## ~Nikki~

My son told me on the weekend that he "has hair on his penis" now. He's 7.5. I can't confirm if this is true, as I don't see him naked anymore. He's a pretty private kid, so I was surprised when he told me about this. He said it's "just a little bit of hair", lol. I don't know? It seemed young to me?


----------



## incorrigible

I don't know that it's really that young. Ds (14) started with some signs of puberty around 8, and that seems pretty common. For ds, he started with BO. He excitedly (and repeated) announced his first pubic hair at about 10. Shortly after that, he became suddenly VERY modest and would even wear a shirt to swim indoors. Recently he's shed the modesty and been back to wandering around in his underwear half the day again. Turns out he was embarrassed because he suddenly went from "child sized" to "adult sized" genitals and is unusually well endowed. Now he's proud of it, so his body image has shifted.

As for nudity...while ds hasn't been into it since he was a toddler...it's all we can do to keep clothes on dd (11) around the house. I'm sure she would happily run around town naked too, if we would let her.

And the kids couldn't care less that I discuss them on a message board specifically designed for parents to discuss their children. They're fully aware of this board, and are often quite involved in my activity here. Ds particularly enjoys being able to give advice to moms of boys about boy specific issues.


----------



## Just

I think most boys have pubic hair at 10 but should a mother see her son naked if he is over 7? - I don´t think so!!!


----------



## Just

Queiw all right, beleive him. he has probably. Good that you don t see him naked at that age!


----------



## Doodlebugsmom

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Just*
> 
> I think most boys have pubic hair at 10 but should a mother see her son naked if he is over 7? - I don´t think so!!!


Really? Even if he's still running around the house naked after his bath without a care in the world? Even is he asks her to come in and talk to him while he's in the bathtub?


----------



## Just

Good that so many don t see their sons naked after 7-8!


----------



## Just

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Doodlebugsmom*
> 
> Really? Even if he's still running around the house naked after his bath without a care in the world? Even is he asks her to come in and talk to him while he's in the bathtub?


If he doesn t let you see his genitals it is OK


----------



## incorrigible

First 3 posts are to revive an old thread to say something mindlessly controversial? Ya, that's a poster who's opinion one should take seriously. 

"oops!" *pulls out a rag to clean up the sarcasm that dripped all over the floor*

Don't let em rile you, Doodlebugsmom. =D


----------



## Doodlebugsmom

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *incorrigible*
> 
> First 3 posts are to revive an old thread to say something mindlessly controversial? Ya, that's a poster who's opinion one should take seriously.
> 
> "oops!" *pulls out a rag to clean up the sarcasm that dripped all over the floor*
> 
> Don't let em rile you, Doodlebugsmom. =D


Thank you, you're right. I'm not responding to the previous poster anymore.


----------



## journeymom

.


----------



## kyndmamaof4

Gosh, seems like this community has veered suddenly right?! I'm still dumbfounded people think we are pervs cause we aren't modest about something so natural







y'all are KILLING me! Is there any of the original spirit of Mothering Dot Commune left?!?!


----------



## journeymom

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *kyndmamaof4*
> 
> Gosh, seems like this community has veered suddenly right?! I'm still dumbfounded people think we are pervs cause we aren't modest about something so natural
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> y'all are KILLING me! Is there any of the original spirit of Mothering Dot Commune left?!?!


Well...as Incorrigible pointed out, you should notice that that was one member (Just), whose first 4 and only posts since, are those here.







So please don't paint the whole of MDC's members with a broad paintbrush, based upon one very ignorant person/troll. Don't feed the trolls.


----------



## Wiseoldman

I have really enjoyed reading all the posts in this thread, and of course have no idea what bad stuff was deleted. I will chime in as both a Dad and Health and Physical Education teacher. The age of puberty for boys varies greatly and as the poll shows - it is an authentic "Bell curve." The "average" age for male puberty is 11 but can be as early as 5 and as late as 15 or 16 (rare). Genetics is the major factor. Ask most teachers and you will find that American kids in 6th grade are still children. Then summer comes and they go to seventh grade and the difference is very noticable - almost all are bigger. There is the usual one or two that still look like little kids, but most have grown a lot. Some girls hit puberty big time in sixth grade and all the kids notice it. In seventh grade most girls are bigger than most boys because almost all of the girls have hit puberty but most of the boys are just starting. In school it can be the toughest year for both kids and teachers - I have known many teachers who could not handle that age. (I have taught all grades K-12). Seventh graders have a very tough time as friends grow throughout the school year and by eighth grade one kid is six feet and the other is still a foot shorter (so now they do not play basketball together anymore). Few boys in seventh grade have any interest in girls. By eighth grade the boys are fresh and all they do is talk about the girls. So the period between ages 10-13 are the major hormonal growth times. My own boys bathed together as toddlers and as they aged they showered instead - alone. At one point the older son locked the bathroom door and that was it - instant privacy. He never said a word other than he wanted privacy. The younger one used to sit on the floor in his bedroom checking his groin looking for hair. One day he came running to tell me because he was excited that he found one; he was ten. As a teacher I can tell you from direct observation in locker rooms after class - American boys are mostly embarrassed to be naked in front of others. They do not like to shower in school (grades 7-9). By grade 10 most do not care anymore but there are still shy boys who will not change in front of others after class. In the USA our culture tends to be very conservative. Americans are a "hung up" society. We love our entertainment (television, movies, video games) to be action oriented and violent (car chases, explosions, lots of gunfights, etc.). Yet we cringe at sex and nudity. How many of you readers allow your kids to watch "action movies" but have never discussed sex with your kids? And why not? Probably because sex makes most Americans uncomfortable. But blowing people up in a TV show does not. Walmart will not even sell "Cosmopolitan" magazine in their stores unless the cover is blocked from view. But gun magazines are in full view. But have you ever been to Germany or Sweden? Every magazine has naked women on the front cover, and these are news magazines! Cultural differences are fascinating! I did teach in Europe for five years. The little kids (boys and girls) changed together in one locker room in grades 1-3. Starting in grade four they had separate changing rooms. Almost 100 percent showered after class through 12th grade (separate locker rooms of course, they are not THAT wild and crazy). But sex is not a big deal to them because it is talked about much more throughout the society - many less people are "hung up" on the issue. In the American education arena it is still very controversial about teaching sex education. Every school district makes its own rules. Whereas some are very open others believe parents alone should teach sex ed. Then, of course, we have the politically controversial issues of abortion to add to the topic. Another controversy is the distribution of condoms or other birth control items in schools. My own personal experience: I substituted in three school districts for several years and found that I was called to teach Health education in each one, and the topic was almost always sex ed. Even the teachers were uncomfortable (it is uncomfortable not for me, I approach it without passion or emotion, never using individual or personal experiences of myself or people in the room). I answer every question directly and fully, so kids used to love me as a sub. I thought it was a sad situation that so many educators were also "hung up." So to wrap up: nudity, nakedness, puberty, sex education - should not be a silent subject. Take a deep breath and break the mold - talk to your kids openly and teach them about their own bodies, how they will change over time, to have respect for themselves and others, to know their limits and to be responsible for their own behavior. Good luck all.


----------



## Diane530

Thanks for posting this, I have been looking for information of what ages boys go through puberty and a little relieved to see the range is quit a few years.

Unfortunately my sons are all starting puberty at different ages, my oldest son is now 14 and still shows no signs of puberty has no pubic hair and still looks like a little boy. My 11 year old boy has had pubic hair since he was 9 and know has a deep voice and armpit hair. This has caused a lot of embarrassment to my older son who wants so bad to grow up and now to make things worse we find out that my third son who is 9 1/2 years old has some pubic hair. I spoke with the doctor to find out if my two younger boys were going through puberty to fast or if my oldest son was to slow and he said that all were still within normal range and that I shouldn't worry quit yet and that since my oldest was from my first marriage and they have different fathers that it is normal. That is a relief physically but emotionally my 14 y.o. is very embarrassed about his younger brothers maturing faster than him. When they were younger my oldest son would boss his younger brothers around and sometimes be a little mean to them so now my 11 y.o. son is actually a lot bigger and stronger then him now enjoys teasing his older brother about being bald down there, he also likes to parade around him showing off his parts and pulling down the pants of his brother to embarrass him in front friends and the family which makes matters worse. When I step in my son only gets made at me to saying he can take care of himself, but after the altercations sometimes I hear him crying in his room. Fortunately my 14 y.o is still a little bigger then his 9 y.o. brother and he hasn't started teasing him as far as I know but I am worried that since puberty has started my 9 y.o. will get a growth spurt soon and then he my start in teasing.

Getting pubic hair and going through puberty seems to be more important to boys than it seems to be with girls. My 14 y.o. seems to feel inferior to others and has stopped participating in activities such as swimming where he has to change in front of others or be more exposed.

Has anyone else had this problem?

Do you know if there is anything I can do to help speed up the puberty process for my son?

I've tried talking to him for the last few years that his time will come but it just upsets him that I even acknowledge the situation.


----------



## mtiger

What are you doing about the 11yo's bullying of his brother?


----------



## journeymom

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Diane530*
> 
> Do you know if there is anything I can do to help speed up the puberty process for my son?
> 
> I've tried talking to him for the last few years that his time will come but it just upsets him that I even acknowledge the situation.


We all want to spare our children this kind of pain. It hurts moms so much, I know. There isn't anything you can do to speed up puberty. Nothing beyond drastic measures that no reputable doctor would provide. Your son is normal, and as you said, his time will come.

Please respect your son and don't bring it up again. He knows his time will come, but that doesn't really help the disappointment and embarrassment he is feeling now. He's working it out himself.

Your 11 year old? You need to take him aside privately and require him to knock it off. Pulling his brother's pants down, pulling anyone's pants down is completely unacceptable.


----------



## journeymom

For what it's worth, my son is 13 and 3/4 and still doesn't have any obvious outside signs of change -no peach fuzz under the nose, no acne, no under arm hair, no voice change. I'm guessing that means no pubic hair, as well. His dad says he developed slowly as well. And it was embarrassing sometimes, but he made it there in the end. I think he's pretty manly.


----------



## brandon-boss

My son is 9 almost 10 he is blond with blue eyes and has leg hairs and also has some pubic hairs is that right


----------



## brandon-boss

My other son 11 almost 12 has a bush of pubic hairs and has leg hairs to he is also circumcised is your son circumcised


----------



## jsave

Why are asking about being circumcised I may be able to help ?


----------



## blessedwithboys

Quote:



> Originally Posted by *Amore7*
> 
> My son just turned 13 and I think now is the best time to get him circumcised! I was originally just going to let him decide when he got older but I think it's best to do it now!


The best time to get him circumcised is never. The second best time is if he is a legal adult and decides for himself. But really, the best time is never.


----------



## Amore7

That was my original plan. But the more I thought about it the more I thought I don't want him to be placed in an embarrassing situation one day! (If you know what I mean lol)!


----------



## Polliwog

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Amore7*
> 
> That was my original plan. But the more I thought about it the more I thought I don't want him to be placed in an embarrassing situation one day! (If you know what I mean lol)!


More embarrassing than having it done at 13?


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## chickabiddy

What does he think about the procedure? Have you asked him what he wants? 13 is old enough to have input into cosmetic surgery.


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## whatsnextmom

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Amore7*
> 
> My son just turned 13 and I think now is the best time to get him circumcised! I was originally just going to let him decide when he got older but I think it's best to do it now!


Umm, why? What is this "embarrassing situation" you are concerned about? That the person he falls in love with will gross out because he's in-tact? In the rare situation where he'd be showering with classmates (and I say rare because many schools don't even offer showers at PE anymore) he'd hardly be the only boy. Gosh, in our area, it's only like 40 percent who get circumcised and that number keeps falling.

I'm not trying to pass a moral judgement on it. I really don't care what another family chooses to do during infancy. I don't see it as mutilation or child-abuse. I do think 13 is too old to make the choice for him and frankly, I don't think at 13 is a good age to put that decision in his lap. You wouldn't let your daughter get a nose job at 13 because she doesn't like how it looks because you know that most likely, as an adult, she'll laugh at her insecurities and see those old pictures and think "gosh, I was cute... I can't believe how insecure I was then!"


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## blessedwithboys

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Amore7*
> 
> That was my original plan. But the more I thought about it the more I thought I don't want him to be placed in an embarrassing situation one day! (If you know what I mean lol)!


I have no idea what you mean. Can you explain?


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## patriciaarnold

My son had a few light slightly coarse chest hairs at 12 or so. He was proud of his hairy chest. He had light coloured leg hair at the time. 

At 15 tho his body hair had grown a bit, I got a shock as he had only a towel round him, nothing unusual there as walked through house like it, and was laying against sofa watching TV.
He got up to get dressed when programme finished. The towel fell off as he got up. He picked up the towel in one hand, his mug and my mug in the other. 
One big black bush and the other thing. He was still only small in height compared to others his age at about 5 ft 5. 
It was a sight that I tried to get out my head 
Shocked amused bemused


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## Emily88

Every kid is different. My 12 year old son has no pubic hair and is showing almost no signs of puberty (not body changes anyways). My oldest already had pubic hair by then. Oh and I clicked the wrong button in the poll sorry.


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## crunchymom7

Emily88 said:


> Every kid is different. My 12 year old son has no pubic hair and is showing almost no signs of puberty (not body changes anyways). My oldest already had pubic hair by then. Oh and I clicked the wrong button in the poll sorry.


I would agree. I assume all boys are different. My oldest son just turned 13 and just started to get pubic hair. How old was your oldest when he started?


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## jsave

So they are correct in varies by age The youngest I've seen pubic hair in boys is about 10 and 1/2 and the latest was almost 14. Also remember the first sign of puberty is growing testicles penis. not pubic hair ejaculating about one year after start of puberty. Hope this helps


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## Emily88

crunchymom7 said:


> I would agree. I assume all boys are different. My oldest son just turned 13 and just started to get pubic hair. How old was your oldest when he started?


I think he started at 10 and had a pretty full amount of it by 11 if I remember


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## crunchymom7

Emily88 said:


> I think he started at 10 and had a pretty full amount of it by 11 if I remember


Wow, my daughter is 11 and my second son is 10 and they are showing no signs of puberty. It's crazy how different everyone is.


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## Patty Pagan

Emily88 said:


> Every kid is different. My 12 year old son has no pubic hair and is showing almost no signs of puberty (not body changes anyways). My oldest already had pubic hair by then. Oh and I clicked the wrong button in the poll sorry.


My son is 12 also and he started getting pubic hair about 9 months ago or so. He’s a bit ahead of his friends in terms growing, height snd weight, but by 16 they’ve all pretty much catch up to each other


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## Patty Pagan

crunchymom7 said:


> Wow, my daughter is 11 and my second son is 10 and they are showing no signs of puberty. It's crazy how different everyone is.


Yup everyone has their own pace, but we all end up at the same place


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## erinn82

Emily88 said:


> Every kid is different. My 12 year old son has no pubic hair and is showing almost no signs of puberty (not body changes anyways). My oldest already had pubic hair by then. Oh and I clicked the wrong button in the poll sorry.


Yep, my 12 year might have a few hairs but over all is just starting puberty. It is good to know he is not behind every boy his age.


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## jsave

Emily88 said:


> I think he started at 10 and had a pretty full amount of it by 11 if I remember


11yo young but possible do know when he started ejaculating?


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## Emily88

jsave said:


> 11yo young but possible do know when he started ejaculating?


He started having wet dreams at age 11 which I discovered from doing his laundry.


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## jsave

Emily88 said:


> He started having wet dreams at age 11 which I discovered from doing his laundry.


That young but possible if he start puberty at 10yo the youngest I know of was 11 1/2 and I don't think he get a lot tall 12yo.
13yo the average for boye to start ejaculating but there not lot of studys on it most of the studys where for cancer patients to save semen.


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