# Is an uncommon name important to you? WHY?



## maya44 (Aug 3, 2004)

I know so many parents that want to avoid a "common name" for their dc. I guess its because they want their child to be "special". I guess I understand with girls but not boys.

I read a recent survey that said 82 percent of men disliked their uncommon name. Moreover something like 85 percent of men liked having a common name.

(Women tended to be split on liking an uncommon name for themselves and the vast majority with a common name wanted something different.)


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## meowee (Jul 8, 2004)

this was very important to us-- DH especially. He has a very common name and hates it. Our kids' names are very unusual. In fact the one reason I don't have them in my signature is because it would take someone who knows me IRL two seconds to identify me! Not that I post anything that saucy, but there have been a few posts that I would not have written without a degree of anonimity.

We also knew we would homeschool, so the teasing issue would be less significant. Also, we chose very common middle names, so that if the child dislikes their uncommon name in adulthood, they can shorten it and be "A. Michael" or "A. Sarah" for example. We also tried to choose names that could be shortened to nichnames that are more usual.

HTH


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## Slackermom (Jul 23, 2003)

I grew up with a name that was trendy at the time (Michelle), and when I was in elementary school in the 70s I was never just Michelle, I was Michelle H. or some other identifier. I always disliked my name for being so common -- I never felt special, just lumped in with the crowd. For that reason, I didn't consider really popular names for DD. I didn't want her to be one of 15 Emily's in her kindergarten class. That being said, if there were a name I'd always had my heart set on and it became popular, I might go ahead and use it anyway.

It's interesting that you bring gender into this, though. We didn't know if we were having a boy or a girl, and when we picked a traditional-but-not-common girls name we didn't think twice about how it would be received. The boy's name, however, was more difficult. Our short list consisted of Sebastien, Callum and Oliver, none of which are common or popular here. DH was worried that the names might be too "weird" for people and that our son would dislike his name because of it. Interesting.

I wanted to add that while we wanted to find less common names, I didn't want to choose a name that would constantly have to be pronounced, spelled or repeated. My last name is difficult enough for most people, and I didn't want to make things worse!


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## sweetest (May 6, 2004)

I really wanted some kind of family name. Dh didnt like my greatgrandmother's names (Theofilia and Cordellia) or grandfathers (Elmer and Charley)

So we went with his grandpas name, even though we had a girl









After being a teacher I wouldnt go for something really trendy, but hard to pronounce can be hard for a kid!


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## indie (Jun 16, 2003)

I have an uncommon name and I love it. I did get made fun of when I was a kid and had a brief stint when I wished my name was Heather Dawn (which is what my mom was going to name me before she found out I already had a cousin named Heather). Now I am so glad that I have a unique name especially since I married and took my dh's very very common last name. My dad had a super common name for his era and there were four other kids in his class with the same name. He got so sick of it.

My dh's full name is so common that when he goes to Best Buy and they look him up by his name and birthdate there are 50 others with the same name and bd! He also had a criminal background check done for his job and it took a super long time because of his common name. His employer had never seen a check that took so long. We had to live off of our savings for several months because they couldn't put him to work until the check was commpleted. He is seriously thinking about changing his name.

I also read today that Senator Edward Kennedy has been denied boarding on airlines a number of times because someone on a watch list has the same/similar name. The only way he was able to fly is because some managers recognized him each time. Just think of what it would be like for a normal citizen.

So we choose a very uncommon name for our dd which is tied to my heritage. I've never met anyone with the name although my dh did meet someone recently whose grandmother had the name.


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## Dragonfly (Nov 27, 2001)

Ds has a pretty uncommon name (though many people know of it, it hardly ever gets used). It was important to me that he have something unusual not because I wanted him to be "special" (though I think he's incredibly special







) but because I wanted him to not be boxed in by his name.

So many names have a certain "type" that goes with them and I tend to think that people, because of their associations with that name, subconsciously push people into those stereotypes.

Ds can make his name for himself. It can be whatever he needs it to be. I like that.









(Offhand, he also has a middle name that, while not incredibly common, is a little more "standard." If he's unhappy with his first name, he can always choose to use that one. I'd feel a little sad, but his middle is a beautiful name with sentimental value, so not too, too sad.)


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## broodymama (May 3, 2004)

My name isn't really uncommon (Sonja), but I knew very few others in my high school or college classes with the same name. I liked the fact that it wasn't overly poplular. If we have a daughter down the road I will probably name her something that isn't extremely popular but not anything outrageous. Our son's name will be pretty common (Brandon), but it's not one of the top 10 names or anything. Our last name is very unusual and always horribly mispronounced







so I don't want our kids to have to correct the pronunciation of their first and last names.


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## oceanbaby (Nov 19, 2001)

Ds1 has a fairly uncommon name - not unheard of, but not something you hear a lot of. Ds2 has a common name, and I'll admit that it kind of bugs me. I don't know why. It's just the name I thought of, and couldn't think of anything else I liked better, so we went with it. But every time I hear another kid with his name, I feel a little sad that I couldn't come up with something different.


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## onlyboys (Feb 12, 2004)

It's very important to me that my children have names that have meaning for me, and for them. Also, I love the idea that they will be the only _________ in the class, you know?

As a teacher, I loved those kids who had uncommon names. It seemed they had a *something* about them that made them stick in my mind.


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## pugmadmama (Dec 11, 2003)

To me it was much more important to have family names than unique names. I knew my son would be a unique person, but family names are a special way of connecting the generations.

I think unique names are fine, it's the names that are difficult to pronounced or spell that seem to drive people crazy. At least the people I know.


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## Dechen (Apr 3, 2004)

Hehe, pugmadma, my dd has one of those "difficult to pronounce names." But so do I.

I have always loved having an unusual name. It has meaning to it, both in terms of my family and for me as an individual.

Just as my dd's first and middle names do. Her first name reflects the Irish part of her heritage, and her middle name was my grandmother's middle name.

All bases covered.


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## weebitty2 (Jun 16, 2004)

OT :

Dechen - Andrie?!?!?!


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## L.J. (Nov 20, 2001)

I have one son with a common name & one is a heard of but not overly used name.

My name is unusual and spelled different.

I hate that the only ones who seem to spell my name right are my mom & sister. I have very few cards spelled correctly, I don't think I have any certificates spelled correctly, etc. No one ever got it right or remembered it, because it was different and it always drove me crazy to be constantly repeating it or correcting people.

I like it's uniqueness better now as an adult, but still get aggravated by people who don't remember or say it correctly.


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## AahRee (Jan 23, 2003)

I really like that my DD's name isn't too different. It's easy to spell, pronounce, etc. I had a complicated, long first and last name growing up, and I wanted so badly to be able to say my name without having to spell it out three times, and without every single person who tried to pronounce it getting it wrong. So, for me, it was important that my DD's name NOT be all that uncommon.


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## ombra*luna (May 1, 2003)

My three all have uncommon names. My middle child goes by a nickname that's more common, though. He's used it about a year or so, since he turned ten.

I like it because I have associations with most commonly-used names. I would have liked to name my daughter Stella, but "Stelllll-aaaaah" (Streetcar Named Desire) and the breadsticks (Stella Doro) were all people brought up when I mentioned it. (It ended up making a fabulous name for a dog, though.)


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## nonnymoose (Mar 12, 2004)

"Jennifer". 'nuff said.

I couldn't talk my DH into naming our son "Fynn," though







: Maybe if he'd been a "Michael...."


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## Mrs Dimples (Apr 17, 2004)

Hmm, that is an interesting point regarding the difference between men and women preferring common/uncommon names. We were actually going to use a different, MUCH more common name for our son, but my husband was the one who spoke up and said it didn't feel right. The name we chose, while neither difficult to spell not pronounce, is quite unusual. It just makes sense for our family. I don't know how to explain it. Having a distinctive name is more important than having an uncommon name, if that makes sense. I like a name with meaning, history, and substance. The name we chose is unusual but full of meaning for our family. All the names I would consider are significant for us, but if I had a choice between a common name and an uncommon one, all other things being equal, I would choose the uncommon name because I do think it gives the child more of a feeling of "specialness", especially as they get older.


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## EFmom (Mar 16, 2002)

I was one of at least a half a dozen girls with the same name in every class I had. I didn't develop a complex over it, but I didn't want my kids having the same situation. Dh has a quite unusual name, but not a made-up "unique" name. He didn't like it, but that's largely because his family gave him a fairly stupid knickname based on his name. As an adult, I think he likes his name well enough.

I dislike intensely invented or misspelled names. It was important to us that our children have names that weren't in the top 30 or so, but are traditional names.


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## Dechen (Apr 3, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *weebitty2*
OT :

Dechen - Andrie?!?!?!

Yup!


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## obeyacts2 (May 29, 2004)

Growing up, I hated having a common name







My Mom went into premie labor and they didnt thnk I was going to make it, so they didnt want to give a family name. I was named after a soap opera character (Laura) When I started school I discovered many other mothers watched the same show







In high school, I remember my French class had THREE Lauras and TWO Lori's out of a total of 15 girls. I swore at that point I would NOT do that to my kids. I like a very traditional sounding name, say Olivia or Caroline or a Bible based name like Isaiah.

Laura


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## mammaguess (Aug 22, 2003)

Growing up I was the only one with my name. H.S., middle and elementary school all. It was hard to find the cute little pencils (though now I think that stuff is rather lame I did want it when I was a kid







) .

So when we picked names I wanted something that wasn't in the top ten but didn't require lots of repeating and slow spelling it out so others would get it.

Funny end to my story is that when we moved to Illinois all sorts of women here have my name. I don't think I have ever met so many in my life as I have in the last year.

That might be something to keep in mind unless you plan on living where you are forever. If you move the name you pick may go from common to not and vice versa. It has for me and my dc, dh has a common name no matter where we live and he Loves it!


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## kimmysue2 (Feb 26, 2003)

I think kind of yes. I mean I picked the name Tevin (thinking I was making it up) because I really liked the sound of it. After nine years of having that picked out I got my Tevin. DH is Karl now its kind of both common and uncommon with a K, or at least its uncommon here in N. CA


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## JuniperJoy (Jul 8, 2004)

This is seriously one of my major pet peeves. I hate it when parents name their kids because they thought it "sounded cool". What a stupid reason to have a name. Oh, it sounded cool.

I have a name my mother thought was just "cool", and I hate the fact that it has no meaning other than that. It's as if I was some kind of brand or accessory, something to accent her own sense of hipness.

Everytime I hear an Abigail or Emma or Maddison or Ethan or Josh, I just want to puke. It's a child, for heaven's sake, not a piece of designer furniture.

I think it's part of the whole culture of children as property. Instead of giving children names that connect them to a culture, or to the past, or to their family, they get flavor of the month names that have no passion or feeling or romance behind them. Besides Mommy's sense of what was cool at the moment, of course.

Oh, I just liked Amethyst Icon, or Devonne Nathan.

Whatever.

Those are the Bertha and Myrtles of the future.

Pretty sad.


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## Mamid (Nov 7, 2002)

20/20 did a show on this today. That "gheto" or black sounding names are actually passed over for jobs because of how strange they sound.

Which completely explains why I haven't gotten any jobs - at least 2 women online have the same name as I do are are black. I at least look white, although I am metis.

And here a "first nations" woman would be almost guaranteed government positions.


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## oceanbaby (Nov 19, 2001)

Quote:

That "gheto" or black sounding names are actually passed over for jobs because of how strange they sound.
My FIL stopped using his first name, "Jose", when he moved to this country because he was having a hard time getting hired. When he started going by his middle name, "Robert", he had no problems.


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## Mamid (Nov 7, 2002)

here's the online version of 20/20's story and a few highlights: The Name Game.

Quote:

Each person posted two résumés on popular job-search Web sites - one under his or her real name, and the same identical résumé under a made-up, "white-sounding" names like Peter, Melissa and Kathleen.

You'd think the identical résumés would get the same attention. Instead, the résumés with the white-sounding names on them were actually downloaded 17 percent more often by job recruiters looking for candidates.

Quote:

But capable doesn't always matter. A job recruiter for Fortune 500 companies in northern California revealed an ugly secret.

"There is rampant racism everywhere. And people who deny that are being naïve," said the recruiter, who spoke on the condition her name would not be used.

The recruiter said if she were given two résumés, all else being equal, except one says Shaniqua, and the other says Jennifer, she would call Jennifer first.

It's a choice she says she was trained to make: When representing certain companies, do not send black candidates. And on a résumé, a name may be the only cue of the applicant's race.

"I think that the way that I had been taught and what has helped me to succeed in the industry is unfair," she said.

It's also racist, and, quite possibly, illegal.

Quote:

But the bias against those names, it seems, starts very early. University of Pittsburgh Vice Provost Jack Daniel studied 4- and 5-year-old children and found racist perceptions were deeply ingrained at an early age.

White children had a tendency to associate negative traits with black names, according to Daniel. "Your name can hurt you," Daniel said, "but you've got to change the people who hurt you because of your name.'
and, like I said before, mine - both the first name alone and first and last together are "black names" and therefore discriminated against. Pisses me off. I was even accused of being mexican over the phone because I had an accent when I was down in the states. I don't think the phone interviewer knows what a Canadian accent is!


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## azyre (Oct 10, 2003)

My name is Leah, and I have found that this is a well known, but not common name. I wanted something similar for my child, something familar but probably don't know multiple people with that name. That was one factor, the meaning and the overall sound counted as much. Her name is Audrey, which is from the genre of reemerging names right now, but that's ok







Playgroup sounds like old England at times







I really love the very popular names right now (Emily, Olivia, Abigail, Charlotte, Hannah etc) and would have happily considered many of them had it not been for the sheer numbers.


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## muldey (May 8, 2002)

It was important to both of us for our children to have unusual names.I'm Lisa Marie,and he is William Raymond.I don't hate my names,but I wouldn't use them for my kids.I don't like my dh's name at all,so there would never be a junior,lol! Our last name is so common in our area!There are many businesses with the name,and at least 3 other women with the same first and last names in our city.I've been called for their unpaid bills,and most recently,a loan application.

We wanted our children to feel unique I guess.I love uncommon names,from all cultures.Most of our friends have named their kids unusual names.Our dd's we took from a baby book,but changed the spelling.I've mostly seen her middle name for boys,but we changed the spelling to make it a little more girly.

Ds's name is a combination of both my grandmothers first names.They died the year I became pregnant,so it was very important to me that they be remembered this way.Both of their names are common in either gender,so it didn't matter if the baby was a boy or a girl.We would have pronounced it a little diferently had he been a girl.His middle name is my dad's very common first name.I always knew i would name my son after him in some way.He's very happy that his grandson is named after his mother and himself,since I am an only child his family last name is gone,as he was the only boy in his family.


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## famousmockngbrd (Feb 7, 2003)

I am a Jennifer, and it's kind of a drag having the same name as so many other people. I actually even think Jennifer is a pretty cool name, apparently so does everyone else.







So I wanted DS to have an unusual name that could be uniquely his. I also wanted it to have meaning, and not be too weird. So his first name is Robert, after DH's father. Middle name is Coltrane, after the great jazz musician John Coltrane. We call him by his middle name, usually shortened to Cole. Confusing enough? LOL


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## teachma (Dec 20, 2002)

Dh had a rule when we were naming the babes: If the name appeared in the Pottery Barn catalog, it was an instant "no!" In his opinion, he catalog uses super-trendy kids' names to name its furniture and linens. So, we crossed off my fave (Amelia) when I saw it as a PB picture frame. "But it's just a frame," I argued, "not a bedroom set or anything. Just a teeny, tiny frame!" No matter! Others in Pottery Barn that actually are trendy, at least in my part of the US: Charlotte, Emma, Hannah, Olivia. William, Thomas. So maybe he's right! I am not opposed to common, but I don't love the names that are so connected to a specific time period. For example, my mom is Carol and MIL is Susan. Both are names I find a lot in 50-60 year old women; they seem to date the people who have them.


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## famousmockngbrd (Feb 7, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *teachma*
I am not opposed to common, but I don't love the names that are so connected to a specific time period.

That is definitely the case with Jennifer.







We're going to be the Mabels and Harriets of our generation, lol.


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## joesmom (Nov 19, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JuniperJoy*
Everytime I hear an Abigail or Emma or Maddison or Ethan or Josh, I just want to puke. It's a child, for heaven's sake, not a piece of designer furniture.

Kinda harsh... I feel for the hundreds of moms here whose kids have these "trendy" names that disgust you so.

I am a Jennifer (Jenny) & my son is Joseph. Not _too_ common, not "weird," a strong classic name. We call him Joe but not Joey. His middle name is my FIL's middle name.


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## teachma (Dec 20, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *famousmockngbrd*
That is definitely the case with Jennifer.







We're going to be the Mabels and Harriets of our generation, lol.

I don't know...Jennifer seems to have made a resurgance. I know a couple who are 6-9 years old at the school where I teach. It may prove to be one of the timeless ones, I think. Stacy and Tracy from the 70's/early 80's, now that's a different story! No offense intended at all.


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## nikirj (Oct 1, 2002)

Some people might name their kids Emma or Ethan because they've always loved the name.

Anyway...

My kids have 'common' but not-top-ten names. There's every chance my Rebecca will have another Rebecca in class with her at some point - heck she already has a cousin born just a week after her with the same name (we hadn't talked about names, just both named our kids the same - though spelled differently and with different nicknames). We avoid the most-common names because they're a little *too* trendy for the most part, plus I'll never forget going to a father-daughter camp with my dad and him being in the same tent with 5 other men named Mike.


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## famousmockngbrd (Feb 7, 2003)

Teachma, I hope you're right!


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## mammaguess (Aug 22, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *joesmom*
Kinda harsh... I feel for the hundreds of moms here whose kids have these "trendy" names that disgust you so.

I am a Jennifer (Jenny) & my son is Joseph. Not _too_ common, not "weird," a strong classic name. We call him Joe but not Joey. His middle name is my FIL's middle name.











Enough said.


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## mclisa (Jul 26, 2004)

This is the dilemma with names. I'm a Michelle. I went all the way through elementary school with another Michelle. Turns out we were born at the same hospital - 14 hours apart.
I think if you look a the top 10 name list for the past 50 plus years you will see the boy names stay about the same: traditional names. If you look at the girl names they have changed.
I always felt sorry for the 4 Jennifer's in my class, or as it was: Jennifer, Jenny M., Jenny W, and Jen.
We didn't have the luxury of family names in my family (Melvina, Aagot, Alvina, Loretta). The only good name was Kate and FIL named his dog that shortly before we got pregnant.
I had always wanted a Madeline and DH and I talked about that name before we were even engaged. His cousin had a Madelyn a few months before us but it didn't change our minds.
We were looking for feminine names for our girls and these are what we came up with.
Who cares what the name is if you love it?
McLisa


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## fiddledebi (Nov 20, 2003)

I like this thread, because dh and I have had this discussion a number of times. We had a really hard time coming up with names for our dd, and if we'd had a son, the kid would probably still be named "Baby Boy."

I was dead set on naming our child for a family member who had passed away -- not necessarily the exact name, but the first initial. DH's dad had died before we met, and his name was Ronald, but he went by Ronnie. Neither DH nor I liked the name Ronald for a boy, and DH hated every other R name I could think of (Ray, Roy, etc.). We had agreed that if we had a boy, the middle name would be Ronald, but we never settled on a first name.

For a girl, we had two ideas. One was to give her a first name we liked and which was my great-grandmother's name, Anna, and then give her a middle name with an "R" -- so we had one choice as Anna Ronit. Ronit ("row-neet") is a Hebrew name which means "song." I liked Ronit as a first name, but DH thought that was too strange and too obviously Jewish. He worried that someday, DD would apply for a job or a school (as described in some posts above) and when she didn't get it, always wonder if her obviously Jewish name was part of the reason. He had felt the same way about some Hebrew boy's names I liked.

What we settled on (and I think was a good compromise) was a first name that crosses many ethnicities and could be shortened to honor his late father, and a middle name that was deeply ethnic and meaningful for my side of the family. Thus, my daughter is Veronica Chaya -- commonly known as Ronni. Chaya is the name of the matriarch of my father's side of the family -- my dd's great-great-great-great-great grandmother. Someday, Ronni might choose to be Veronica, but whether she goes by Ronni C. Commonlastname or Veronica C. Commonlastname, she has a name that is unique enough to feel special, but not difficult to pronouce or spell.

As a Debi, I was the constant brunt of "Debbie does Dallas" jokes, and at puberty, when I got breasts sooner than my friends, "De-BRA!" was commonly heard in locker room jeers. I hate my name, but don't blame my parents. They named me for my grandmother Dorothy. That part, I love. They couldn't have predicted those other things.

Ronni has already heard some about the man for whom she is named. She'll continue to hear about him as she grows up, hopefully connecting her in a special way to the person who would so have loved to meet her. I agree with previous posters that feel it's important for the name to have meaning beyond "we liked it."

That said, if I have a son next time, and dh can't agree on a name, I'll just wait until he leaves the room, and name the kid Samuel Reuben, after my great Uncle and DH's grandma (Riva) -- dh will get used to it!


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## Mamid (Nov 7, 2002)

We have a boy's name picked out for Bun. We don't have a girl's name picked out. We are using, believe it or not, a name from a soap opera for Bun's boy's name. Lucas - but we're going to call the him Lucky because it was damn lucky I was able to get pregnant. And the middle name is after a friend of ours who died last year about the same time I conceived. I sorta believe in reincarnation, but I prefer to think that our friend picked our child's soul for us out of the candidates that were available.

So, we asked his widow if she'd be upset if we used his name. She said she was honoured.

My mother's family has the "tradition" of naming the children after one or both of the grandparents. So she's S.L. with the L coming from her father's mother. All of her siblings (5 kids total) have a name of one of the grandparents except the one who died in '94 and maybe my other aunt, but I think she was given my great grandmother's middle name. She and I shared a middle name - my grandmother's called name. She was E.D. but was always called by her second name.

When I didn't name my daughter A.S. I got in so much shit from my b* queen mother. After all, that was what was expected of me - that my daughter would be named after her. Considering the amount of abuse she had been dishing on me for years, why would I give my daughter that name? Or any of my children a name that can be found in my maternal family for at least 2 generations!

So, we're having a hard time picking a girl's name for Bun. That and we know too many people with G or J names so we're staying away from that part of the alphabet. No Gennies, Jennifers, or anything like that. Last thing we want is a "friend" of ours saying that we named our baby girl after her!

So, we're still looking. We have Mirabelle, Mariam, Amanda and a few others, but nothing that sticks yet. If the frigging ultrasound technologist had bothered to tell us what the sex was two weeks ago, we could have either cut our search short or worked harder.

As for the post earlier about the "gheto" names, my b* queen mother supposedly named me after a "princess," but I think she named me after Martin Luther King Junior's daughter. But did she think of any way to shorten the name? Nope. So I grew up without the "loving family nickname" of a shortened version of my name. That's one thing we are trying to avoid with our children as well. If I had a nickname, I could have used that instead of the "gheto name" I was given at birth.

Makes me want to use my middle name for resumes and see if that fixes that problem!


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## lunchbox (May 14, 2003)

I have a pretty unusual name (Merrill). Its ok. It sort of bothered me in school but I think it helped set me apart too. As an adult, I really don't ever give it a second thought. The funny thing is that I just got an email from someone here that I went to HS with who recognized my name because its so unusual.









We wanted an uncommon but not unusual name, specifically something old fashioned for DD. Her full name is Anna Lucille but she goes by Lucy. However, we call her Lulu 90% of the time.


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## OakEmber (Jul 3, 2002)

Hmm...I just wanted to share my own personal reason for using unique/ unusual names for my children. I have always had a thing for names, maybe due to so much time spent reading...I remember sneaking peaks from Baby Name books (sneaking because I felt that people would think it was weird for a young girl to be looking at them, and I didn't want people to think I was trying to get pregnant or anything :LOL) and when my mom got pregnant when I was 12, I was so excited to actually be able to check them out of the library, :LOL

Anyway, I have always been intruiged by unusual names...if I heard something different I'd instantly wonder what are they like, what are there siblings names, what is there family like, what kinda of house do they live in :LOL (seriously, I wanted to be a writer so I was curious about everyones lives). So I guess I always wished that my name was the one igniting someones imagination that way, and now I get to live vicariously through my children







(that last part is a little sarcastic but in a good way, I hope it comes across that I am making light of it, not taking myself too seriously KWIM, sometimes hard to get across in a post)

As for the names themselves that I used they are definately highly significant and meaningful to Dh and I...not just some random words that we thought were cool. We have been in love with them for 10 years prior to them being used and cannot picture calling our kids anything different.


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## sleet76 (Jun 2, 2004)

I have a few reasons for not choosing an extremely popular name. One, if gives me something fairly healthy to obsess over during pregnancy. Two, we have an extremely common last name (the only thing worse than being one of 10 Mikes in your class is to be one of two or three Mike Xxxx in your class. Three, my name is Stacy, and I know I have one of those names that pinpoints your year of birth from about 1969-1979. I want to choose a name that isn't trendy--therefore I prefer family names or names that have performed fairly steadily over time--I would choose Alice, but not Emma.

My choices in names for our kids have to fit quite a few requirements. They need to be fairly uncommon--preferably not in the top 150, and definitely not in the top 50. They need to be easy to spell and say. They need to have one dominant spelling (I hate having to say, "It's Stacy with just a y" everytime anyone is writing my name)--so no Caitlin/Katelyn-type names. And it is important that they flow with our last name. My DH's name is actually hard to say, I think--Matt T. It just doesn't flow. The "t"s are too hard to put together.


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## pugmadmama (Dec 11, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JuniperJoy*
...Everytime I hear an Abigail or Emma or Maddison or Ethan or Josh, I just want to puke. It's a child, for heaven's sake, not a piece of designer furniture....

Good grief. How do you know those aren't family names or names that the parents love for very specific reasons? Why assume they are "flavor of the month" and feel like puking? Moving on...

The flip side of complicated/difficult to spell names is when your child has a very short/very easy to spell name, then they are going to be asked their entire lives, "What is that nickname for?" or "What's your real first name?" I had no idea this would happen when we named our son and I'd name him the same thing again in a heartbeat. However, it's been an unpleasant surprise to realize that even short, easily spelled names can come with annoying baggage.


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## ~OceanPotion~ (Apr 30, 2004)

I really like uncommon names. Especially nature names. I have an uncommon name and I liked that it was different. I have nothing against people choosing popular or trendy names but there just not the names I'll pick for my children.


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## Piglet68 (Apr 5, 2002)

I found the 20/20 story very interesting.

DH hails from an Eastern European culture. Many common names there have a rather ridiculous sound to them when in English. His surname being one of them. Some common first names for boys are: Zarko, Darko, Dragan, etc.... (he's Croatian).

He gets really riled up when I discuss his surname and how awkward it is in English. He considers this a symptom of racism and the narrow cultural horizons that North Americans tend to have. In the several-years-long discussion of what surname to give our kids, this subject came up constantly. He made me feel rather shallow when he put me in a corner and I had to admit that I hated his name because it "sounded funny/awkward, or silly" and that it was a pain to spell out, let alone pronounce.

But this story really points out the sad truth of the matter, which is - like it or not - there is an inherent xenophobia out there which WILL impact your child's life. My DH has a very ethnic name. I admit when I read ethnic names I immediately picture some bumbling foreigner with a substandard education and heavy accent. Of course, this split-second instinctual response is immediately curbed by my common sense. I know many people with "foreign" sounding names who can be related to readily by anyone in my own culture. It's a sad reflection on human nature and one that always pains me to experience. It doesn't surprise me in the least that employers contact those with "white sounding" names first. It's a matter of comfort - we all prefer the familiar.

So, with that said, I think it is prudent to consider the effect of unusual names on children. It's hard to grow up with an odd-sounding name, or one that must constantly be spelled or corrected, especially when it's an ethnic variation. I spent my whole life correcting the pronunciation of my name (which is very english, actually, just spelled in a way that made it seem like another, very common, name), until I finally had the spelling legally changed to prevent that. It was such a relief. And....DH and I have come to an agreement: we're changing our family name to one that is easily spelled and pronounced, while still being rather unusual, and also has meaning to us (it's actually a combination of parts of both our surnames).

As for first names, my DD is Emily and was not so named b/c it was the "flavour of the month". She was named that because I love the name and have for many years and always said when I had a DD I'd name her Emily. Also, my paternal grandmother was an Emily so there's a family connection. I will admit that, at times, it pains me to have given her such a trendy name, but I balanced that by giving her a Croatian middle name: Jasna (pronounced "YASS-na"). If she gets sick of being one of many Emily's, she can go by Jasna (which, ironically, is about as common as "Jane" in Croatia).

Interesting that the OP suggested boys may have a harder time with it. Our son's name will be Sasha. I love it b/c I really am not into "boyish" names at all. I wanted something that didn't have so much testosterone to it, if that makes sense! Something male, but gentle. It's also Croatian. But again, we've balanced it with a "common" middle name. Adam was my beloved younger brother, who died in an accident 8 years ago. I knew right after he died that any future son of mine would bear his name.


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## huggerwocky (Jun 21, 2004)

...there are other ways of making a child feel special and don't find it creative at all to make up new spellings or create fantasy names either









I just want to avoid the top 10 list, that's it

TC,


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## littleaugustbaby (Jun 27, 2003)

I have a really common first name, and it's never bothered me at all. There were always at least 3 different girls with the same name in my class, but I never minded it.

I've dated a couple of guys with really unusual names, and both of them really liked that they had unique names; both of them thought it was really cool. The only problem that they've ever had is constantly dealing with people mispelling and mispronouncing their names, which can get annoying at times, but even *I* have had to deal with that a lot, and I have a really common name!

When I picked DD's name, I didn't really care if it was in the top 10 or not. I picked a name that I loved, and I think it really fits her. One of the things that I really like about it is that it's short and easy to spell and pronounce. It honestly wouldn't matter to me if I knew 100 kids with her name or 0 kids with her name. She's still a unique and special person, no matter what her name is.


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## Thursday Girl (Mar 26, 2004)

I use names that I like. They tend to be a little uncommon. I have always done the naming thing. My sisters and I together. EMBEROAKLEY i feel you. I always said it was because I was a writer and I was coming up for names for the charachters. I have actually gone more normal then i prefer by using Julie (but it's spelled Jewely) My husband wanted to name her that. I egreed only because of the unique spelling.


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

One of my nieces has a "ghetto" name. I was really annoyed with my sister for doing it, and asked her flat out if she wanted her daughter never to be able to get a job other than rock star, supermodel, or McDonald's attendant. It's a sad but true fact that people don't hire "Shaniqua" to do anything important, regardless of how well qualified she is. My younger niece has a much more "white" name, very classic and well recieved.

It was important to me not to have a common name for my children, but a name that meant something. Mike's name is.. well, Michael. :LOL His last name is so common around here that he is one of those people who has dozens of other people in every database with his name and date of birth.







I find it irritating, but it doesn't bother him that there are Mike's everywhere. At any rate, we gave our kids each a Hebrew name and an English name. The English names are not terribly common but not unrecognizable, and the Hebrew names are actually very common, just not among our goyish friends. :LOL Not only are they common Hebrew names, they're actually the original versions of common English names!







They are different enough in pronounciation that they don't immediately ring the bell (at least in my mind, though apparently my son's name does for everyone else) but they're still very easy to say. And if they don't like them when they get older, they've got English names they can use.


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## Electra375 (Oct 2, 2002)

I truly disliked my name as a child, it was unusual and other kids gave me grief about it. My name is Rejoyce. My mother was Joyce Ann and my Great-Aunt is Joyce. My parents had a boat named Rejoyce and then I was born and they named me Rejoyce. They say they were so happy to have a baby after 8 years of infertility. I get that, now. But it if I weren't a religious woman, I would have to change it.

As for my children, I wanted "normal" names, but I did choose names that were not so common. Our first is Zachary, it is very common now, but he could always go by Owen. Our second is Douglas Aaron, Douglas isn't even in the top 100 these days, it was popular 30 - 40 years ago. Our third is Amelia Grace. I haven't had a change to look up Amelia, but I don't think it is that popular, but I hear Grace is.

My dh did not want any of our children named after relatives. So family names were out. But sometimes funny things happen... My great-grandmother was called Doug by her husband and she shares a b-day with my Douglas. My great-aunt was Emilia (the common swedish spelling), so the family thinks we named her for Aunt Emilia (went by Mimi to us kids).

In truth my dh and i have a hard time coming up w/ names. Zachary we were at the end of the book. Douglas I picked, he like it, so it stuck. Amelia my dh said he liked and I agreed, so we went no further than A in the book!

Douglas calls her Mia, maybe she'll be a great soccor player like Mia Hamm.

Names are so hard... You are naming a child for life and you are hoping it fits.


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## Saiahma (Jul 2, 2003)

I wanted something a little different for DS...I had tons a girls names picked out, but only one boy name. Isaiah is getting more popular, but there is only one other Isaiah in his fairly large public school. I'm Jaimee....usually was the only one in my class, but if there was another one it was never spelled the same way. I kind of like it now, it's not too different, but I don't know anyone else with my name at this point in my life. THe only thing I disliked growing up was correcting the spelling all the time. People will actually get annoyed with me if I spell it for them! That always irritated me, being treated like I was trying to be difficult or something?? Now I don't bother correcting people (unless its for something official like insurance or doctor, etc...) DS always has to spell his name for people too, but at least they just don't know how to spell it, rather than them trying to spell it a different way and him having to correct them...KWIM?


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## mamawanabe (Nov 12, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eilonwy*
One of my nieces has a "ghetto" name. I was really annoyed with my sister for doing it, and asked her flat out if she wanted her daughter never to be able to get a job other than rock star, supermodel, or McDonald's attendant. It's a sad but true fact that people don't hire "Shaniqua" to do anything important, regardless of how well qualified she is. My younger niece has a much more "white" name, very classic and well recieved.


The name isn't the problem, it is the racism behind the shunning of the name that is the problem.

I would focus more on challenging perjorative assumptions about black culture than on finding "acceptable" names.


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## teachma (Dec 20, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamawanabe*
The name isn't the problem, it is the racism behind the shunning of the name that is the problem.

I would focus more on challenging perjorative assumptions about black culture than on finding "acceptable" names.

ITA with this.


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamawanabe*
The name isn't the problem, it is the racism behind the shunning of the name that is the problem.

I would focus more on challenging perjorative assumptions about black culture than on finding "acceptable" names.

That may be the case, but she's not doing the kid any favors.


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## grneyes328 (Feb 24, 2004)

I could have written this post!!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *obeyacts2*
Growing up, I hated having a common name







My Mom went into premie labor and they didnt thnk I was going to make it, so they didnt want to give a family name. I was named after a soap opera character (Laura) When I started school I discovered many other mothers watched the same show







In high school, I remember my French class had THREE Lauras and TWO Lori's out of a total of 15 girls. I swore at that point I would NOT do that to my kids. I like a very traditional sounding name, say Olivia or Caroline or a Bible based name like Isaiah.

Laura

I too was a preemie, although named after a character in a book. Blech. I like Oliver, Audrey - traditional, not overused, and NOT TRENDY!!!!

Laura (as well







)


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

Pre-baby days this was actually one of my research areas (names & voting patterns, specifically).

Quote:

I think if you look a the top 10 name list for the past 50 plus years you will see the boy names stay about the same: traditional names. If you look at the girl names they have changed.
Yup, you will also realize that there are a LOT more boys that have those top 10 names than girls having the top ten names. One big reason, of course, is that boys are more often named after someone (plus junior, III etc...). Additionally, while boys names often morph to girls names (Ashley anyone?) the opposite is rare enough to be considered negligible.

We picked overly popular names. There, I said it. I didn't know DDs name was popular until later though (we had picked it out before). By the time DS came along, the boys name we had picked out 5 years before was just tooo popular and we went with another name, though fairly "normal."

Unique names are great with me. IMO, what you want to avoid is oddly spelled common names. They rate EXTREAMLY low on name preference (including intelligence etc...). Then, you still have the common name but you never get it spelled or pronounced right and people assume your parents couldn't read


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## Heavenly (Nov 21, 2001)

When my husband and I were dating (7 years ago) we chose our first girls and boys names (Elijah and Olivia). Neither name was popular at all. Elijah was born in January 2001 and the name was still not popular but by a year later there were tons of Elijah's. By the time we conceived Olivia the name was SO popular but we had been calling our baby girl Olivia for 5 years so we just couldn't change it. I do feel sad that Olivia will have so many other Olivia's to contend with. My name is Shawna and I didn't have any in my school. At the same time even though its popular whenever people ask her name and I say its Olivia they always say what a beautiful name it is. It really is. Our next boy will be Caleb and our next girl will be Halle. I don't know how popular those names are.

Juniper Joy - Gosh it must be nice to know everything! Of course I chose Olivia because I want to fit in, yep that was my motive. Couldn't possible be because I love the name.


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## mamawanabe (Nov 12, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eilonwy*
That may be the case, but she's not doing the kid any favors.

Well, unless you consider showing your child that not succumbing to society's norms when these norms are based on the lowest of human motivations (racism etc) a favor.

If I loved the name and/or it held significance or beauty for me and/or they could see their daughter in this name and visa versa, not to name her it because of this country's enduring racism than I would not be acting like the kind of parent I would want my daughter to have.

Besides, in twenty years, this country and this world will look very different. "Acceptable" names where this woman lives could be very different from "acceptable" names today. With work, the catagory of acceptable should be much larger. . .


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## bec (Dec 13, 2002)

Well, I think both of my girls' names are on the top 10. Emily and Katherine. I never even looked at the lists, though. These were two names that I have loved my whole life. I have a dear great aunt that I wanted to honor with my first daughter. And I had a preschool teacher that I was so in love with as a little girl. she was so kind to me as a small child. She even took me out for a special movie (the Muppet Movie) and lunch the day before I was to move out of state. I actually hadn't thought of her until I had decided on Emily, but now realize that is probably why I have such a love for the name. I also loved the name Emma (so a big







to the poster that is puking because of me), but DH didn't care for it as much as Emily.

I think if the name has a deep meaning to you, whether it be common or not, that is what is important.

Bec


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamawanabe*
Well, unless you consider showing your child that not succumbing to society's norms when these norms are based on the lowest of human motivations (racism etc) a favor.

If I loved the name and/or it held significance or beauty for me and/or they could see their daughter in this name and visa versa, not to name her it because of this country's enduring racism than I would not be acting like the kind of parent I would want my daughter to have.

Besides, in twenty years, this country and this world will look very different. "Acceptable" names where this woman lives could be very different from "acceptable" names today. With work, the catagory of acceptable should be much larger. . .

You're entitled to your opinion. My sister made up a name for her daughter, and it holds no special meaning whatsoever. My niece hates her name (and no, it's not because I'm a horrible person and rub it in her face or anything like that) and uses her initials ("Jim") or her Hebrew name whenever she's given the opportunity. I'm not saying that the name is unacceptable at all, only that it's already causing her problems and she's only seven years old. I can only imagine the trouble it'll give her when she's trying to get into college or get a job outside of the mall.


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## mamawanabe (Nov 12, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eilonwy*
You're entitled to your opinion.

Well, we are all entitled to our opinions. A discussion board is about discussing these opinions . . .

I do understand wanting to make life easy on our kids name-wise. But deciding not to name a child a certain name that I like (and a name I made up does not mena it has no significance) becuase it shoulds like a black person's name makes me and my family (and my daughter) complicte in racism.

BTW, I hated my name at 7 too, and I have a ****** white white name.

The world is becoming more diverse and more global. Things are a-changing . . . and we should fight to encourgage thsi change rather than cower before the staus quo.

but that is just my opinion


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## Stevie (Jun 20, 2004)

I guess I understand with girls but not boys.

***************************

My son has always loved his uncommon name; he's 27 and was never able to get one of those bike licence plates.

I just wanted my DC to have not common names; unfortunately I started hearing of Delaneys almost immediately after naming my DD Delany









One DC that we lost was named Thandiwe (tahndeeway). I always thought that since people would hear the name first it wouldn't be too much name, but she had this name on her board in PICU for 4 weeks. I started apologizing to the nurses, saying if I had known how sick she was going to be I would've named her Sue







Her birth parents gave her a different name when they decided to parent.

I would like to have another baby girl just so I could name her Thandiwe though


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## Stevie (Jun 20, 2004)

Those are the Bertha and Myrtles of the future.

*******************************

My DD's name IS Delany Charmaine BERTHA A... she was named for my great grandmother


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## CarrieMF (Mar 7, 2004)

Not only was my name common, it rhymed it everything.









Thinking about it my entire family on my moms side had common names up until my one aunt who names hers Joel, Danae and Nyla. Us cousins are mostly naming ours different/unique.

My girls are

Tirza Wessiline Dorothy

Asha Judy Gwyneth

Nadia Mai

Their middle names are all after grandmothers and great grandmothers, we ran out with Nadia. lol

I wanted unique names for a few reasons. I didn't want them to have common names and be like everyone else. IMO having a different name gives them their own uniqueness, I wanted them to know that they are thier own individual. I think a unique name is more fun and not so boring.


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## Beverly (May 7, 2002)

I'm one of those who likes the uncommon traditional names. My daughter is Lydia, which fits the bill in both the States and Sweden, and my son is Tage, which is a nightmare for English speakers (it's pronounced "tah-geh," with a hard g), but it's a well-known, albeit very old-fashioned, name here in Sweden.

I'm not big on "unusual" spellings, either -- seems they just cause problems for everyone.


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## PriscaBurrows (Aug 20, 2004)

My real name is very common. There was always at least one other girl in whatever class I was in with the same name. Insult to injury; she was also almost always prettier and popular, so no matter how much I heard my name, it was usually some one else who was being referenced.

I never particularly wanted my child to have a really unusual name either. Just less mainstream. I want people to be able to pronounce my children's names, and don't want difficult spelling. A less common name was important for my DH too. He would have hated for us to name our children very mainstream names. So we agreed right from the start that we would try to go with less common names that we don't hear all the time. My DD has an old fashioned name that you do hear, but not tons. Our next child if DD will have a similar name, if it's a boy, the name we have picked out is very uncommon, but I just am in love with it.


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## RegiMom (Aug 25, 2004)

I have a fairly uncommon name (Regina)
And my daughter has a fairly uncommon name as well (Anastasia) My dh named her and i love the name. Dhe is such a special baby and I want her to feel unique when she is older. I always did. I loved having a name that you didn't run into very often. I met maybe 3 Regina's in school and i only met so many because i changed schools quite a few times.


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## Ragana (Oct 15, 2002)

In our language/ethnic group, my name and my daughters' names are common, but they are uncommon in the US/English. The pronunciation of mine is the same as a relatively uncommon English name, but spelled differently. My daughters' names are different-sounding to English-speaking ears, but pretty straightforward to pronounce.

We wanted to reflect my heritage in our kids' names, not to be "difficult". This country is a mosaic of so many different people with different backgrounds. Having different names to reflect that is just natural. so vive la difference.

I have no problem with the difficulties. My first and last names have given people pause all of my life. In school I would just raise my hand when there was a long silence in the roll call! And the "getting beaten up on the playground" argument is a non-argument in my opinion. Kids will always find something to tease you about - if it's not your name, it's something else. I was always proud of my name because it reflected my heritage and had meaning to my mom.

PS Our daughter's middle name is Emma - gasp! So trendy back in 1896 when my grandmother was named that!


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## Clarity (Nov 19, 2001)

At least in medieval England, naming trends seem to change more slowly - At one point, in some parts of England, most people were named one or only 3 or 4 common names. Some areas were a little more diverse, but still a HUGE number of people shared a couple of names - one of the reasons surnames came into more common use. And, as the ethnic and political composition of the island changed, so did names - some voluntarily using "foreign" names, sometime by law. (fighting over how people should name children isn't new either.







)

For women around 1200, Alice, Matilda, Joan, Agnes. Men, William, John, Robert, Richard. What the 3 or 4 most common were varied a little with time and region. (Like Edith or Emma instead of Joan) But what's also interesting, while the vast majority of people had one of these names (like 40% or more, not just most popular) there were also a lot of people with very unique names. In surveys of legal records, the name might appear only once in a group of documents, even if it spans decades or longer. (In one document surveyed, 2-3% of the names were unique.) Surely there were other people with that name, but for every class full of Mackenzies, there's a Saiga, kwim? Which is not that different from what we're doing now.


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## Ragana (Oct 15, 2002)

That's really interesting, Clarity!


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## wenat (Apr 17, 2004)

I'm Gladys, and trust me, growing up with that name wasn't fun. Gladys was the nosy neighbour on Bewitched, or someone's awful aunt or grandmother. Except for Gladys Knight, of course, who's pretty cool.

My son's first and middle names are Andrew Kian Ming. My dad picked out the Kian Ming, and we decided on Andrew (one of our 3-4 choices of boys' names) when we realized that the meaning of the name was the same as Kian Ming in Chinese. I also like that he can be an Andrew, a Drew, or an Andy (or a Ming Ming, which is what my mom calls him), depending on what he grows up into or prefers.

Another consideration for kids' names is google/the internet. When you type in my DH's name, a bunch of different results come up, none of them him. When you type in my name, you find me right away because my name seems to be is unique in the world -- that, and I've been online a looooong time. (Do you know how creepy it is to type your name into google images, and have a photo of yourself pop up as the first result?)

My hope for my babe is that he can take advantage of his common first name if he wants to, or be more unique by adding his middle names. And being a little anonymous is not a bad thing on this big global internet.


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## velochic (May 13, 2002)

I like unique names in general, and in particular, names that mean something to the PARENTS. Even if it's something uncommon, it might be meaningful for the parents and eventually it will be for the child as well. The poster who mentioned something about the name "Amethyst" or some such name can't know that "Amethyst" might be very significant in one's life. Even if a parent just wants a unique name, what's wrong with that? Every child is unique.

Our daughter's name is FAR from unique depending on what part of the world you live in. In America, it's probably quite unique.

Dd's name is Anaïs Nairi (Ahn-eye-eese, N-eye-uh-ree). Anaïs is a nickname in one of my husband's native languages (Armenian) for the name Anaïhid. We both like Anaïs Nin, Anaïs is a French name, dd was conceived in Montréal, and dh just liked the name. The name had many aspects to it that felt right. Nairi is the ancient name for Armenia. So, our daughter has a unique, hard to pronounce name in America (We live in Europe, and Europeans don't seem to have a problem with it), but it has a lot of meaning for our family. It also sounds cool.


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## velochic (May 13, 2002)

I forgot to mention in my last post, that we should feel grateful that we can even name our children whatever we want. In many countries (Turkey being one I know from first-hand experience) you have to name your child from a list the government gives you. You cannot name your child ANYTHING you want unless you can prove an ethnic reason for naming the child. We have been going through the paperwork for getting our dd her Turkish citizenship (her father is dual citizen Turkey/America) and believe me, a rose by any other name is NOT a rose in Turkey. It's a headache!!


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## Tuesday (Mar 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *velochic*
I forgot to mention in my last post, that we should feel grateful that we can even name our children whatever we want. In many countries (Turkey being one I know from first-hand experience) you have to name your child from a list the government gives you. ...

What an interesting comment!

My own opinion and preference is just giving your child a name that feels right to parents and to child. I think our own preferences are partly shaped by what we did or did not like about our names as a child. My own name is not unique but quite old fashioned (it's not Tuesday!) so I didn't really know any other girls by the same name when I was growing up. I, of course, wished I had a more popular name rather than one of someone's grandmother. Now, of course, I don't mind it at all - it's me. DH has the most common name imaginable - both his first and surname! I know about 10 men or more with his first name yet every one is distinct and different.

When we named our son, my DH came up with a name we liked. It suits my son now and it is "his name".

The thing is, about names, if everyone has a "unique" name then the more traditional names become unique. My girl friend named her son John and hasn't met a soul whose done the same. I'm not that fussed about it. I think one should pick what feels right at the time. I think one can always look back in hindsight and say what should have been done.


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## Losgann (Jun 24, 2004)

I never liked my name growing up-Erica. I always thought it was boring and wanted something more exotic like Rhiannon. <g> It was a pretty popular name growing up but not too bad. There were always 5 or so of us all spelled differently. All the other Erica's were hispanic and I'm not, so that kind of colored my perception of my name as wel..The most common mistake people make with my name is spelling it with a K.

I had a very easy common last name growing up, then married into the most aggravating name to have to share with people. It's spelled just like it sounds but people can never get it right. lol Luckily in my town it's pretty well known because the whole family has lived here for generations. lol!

I don't know if my kid's names are trendy or what. I honestly didn't think of it when I found names that spoke to me. I don't understand people who love a name and think they can't use it because they know someone who has the name or it's all ready been used in the family. So what! lol If I love a name I'm going to use it.









My son's name is Ethan Carrick. I fell in love with the name Ethan when I was about 12 years old, I just knew that would be my son's name, before it became popular. Carrick is celtic/gaelic which has a lot of meaning in my life.
Today even though Ethan was a very popular name (I discovered) around 1997 when he was born we really haven't run into very many of them. In his school in Kindergarten he was the only Ethan in 600 kids, in first grade he was one of only 2. So not too popular.

My daughter's name is Willow Skye. I originally wanted to name my daughter Corinne Rhiannon but Willow had other ideas. I could not get the name Willow out of my head. That was just her name and I had to accept that. My husband wanted to name her Skye, his favorite girl's name so the two of us created and named this child together. I also love it because of the Isle of Skye in Scotland to go with her brother's gaelic middle name.







The name fits her to a t, she's absolutely beautiful and magical.

The only problems I've run into with my kids names are my son's friends asking me if his middle name is Carrot, and Willow is so rarely seen that no one understands me the first few times I tell them. Willa? Wilma? "No.. like the tree. Willow."

My husband did accuse me of picking baby names from the show Buffy the Vampire Slayer, however. Ethan was a bad guy in the show (after my Ethan was born. lol) and Willow was also a character. Before Willow was born we didn't know if she was a boy or girl and dh and I both loved the name Riley for a boy, and dh wanted to use Finn as a middle name (Son of the Red Haired Man. LOL It fit!) Next season-guess what Buffy's boyfriend's name is? Riley FLynn! lol

It was totally unconscious, I swear!

Erica


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## Ragana (Oct 15, 2002)

There are restrictions on naming in Germany as well. As I recall, the name has to be identifiably female/male. If it is not, the middle name has to be identifiably female/male. The only exception is "Maria" as a traditional middle name for boys. No alternative or new spellings. If you want alternative spellings or unusual names, I believe you have to prove that the name "is a name". You can't just name your child "Pepsi" or whatever. Unless you are a foreign national, and then they permit you to name your child "under the other country's law". On the naming form in the hospital, I had to check a box indicating under which country's law I was naming my child so that they could make sure the name was OK. It goes on and on.

Believe it or not, when our DD was born in Germany, my DH went to register her birth in our town and although she is not a German citizen, only US, the woman at the office pulled down a big book and started lecturing him about which states (in the US, mind you) permit double last names and which don't - huh? It was certainly a different experience!

German mamas - maybe you can elaborate? Can people "get away" with creative names these days (we left in 2001)?

I believe there are countries, too, where parents used to have to choose from a list of saints' names (Ireland?)


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## Mamid (Nov 7, 2002)

France has that restriction. That's why there are a lot of Jean-Pauls and Jeanne-Maries from there.


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## MommytoMJM (Aug 3, 2004)

We didn't intend for DD to have an uncommon name, but it worked out that way. I am Bonny June with a "Y" and always hated that I couldn't find anything personalized, etc... but, I am named for my grandmother's and as I grew that becoame very important to me. Our daughter's name is Marjorie June Mailani, MArjorie June is for my favorite grandmother and DH chose Mailani, it is Hawaiian for "sent from Heaven" since she is adopted it has special meaning for us. I do love her name and old ladies tell me all the time how neat it is that she has an "old-fashioned" name or that their name is Marjorie and they love that a kid in this day has their name!


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## IdentityCrisisMama (May 12, 2003)

Uncommon here…Aya. We were looking for a name that worked well in lots of different cultures and Aya does. But, we moved to Germany where the pronunciation of DC’s name sounds LOTS like the ‘eggs’. Fun. You should see the looks I get calling “Eggs, Eggs! around the grocery store. DC is Aya Sophia for the Hagia Sophia in Istanbul ~ It was a great excuse to go back to Turkey while I was pregnant ~ deep, ha?


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JuniperJoy*
Everytime I hear an Abigail or Emma or Maddison or Ethan or Josh, I just want to puke. It's a child, for heaven's sake, not a piece of designer furniture.

Pretty sad.

I know ppl with all of these names and none of them were named for popular...they were all named after relatives, they are family names. My MIL is an Emma ad she's 50! And the other thing... a family name has to start somewhere!

Choosing a name was very important and personal for my dh. His name is Benjamin and has spent his entire life HATING his name. Not because it is a bad name but ppl insist on shortening it. He'll introduce himself as Benjamin and the person goes, "Well, its nice to meet you Ben" He was born in 1980 and thats when the Benji movies came out and they called him Benji (befor ethe movie) but after the movie came out he was picked on. And before that I believe it was "Ben the Rat" from something.... So, we had to be careful that we didn't choose names that could shortened, dh isn't into nicknames. We had to choose names that went ok with our last name "Moore". This was the hard part. I LOVE the name Owen, my mom's maiden name. But say it aloud.

Owen Moore

Soudsn like he is in debt. There is a long list of names that will not work.

So, we chose a fmaily name for Tracy Edward, and for Bryce Jeremy, a name we liked and a family name. Jeremy is the name of dh's older bro who died at the age of 3 after a very rough life and health battles. Are they unique? Not really but they aren't common either.


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

Oh, and one of my more interesting jobs was typing birth certs... there are a TON of creative ppl out there! Some that I wanted to go up to and say, "Are you sure about this". I know one little girl running around who is about 4 named Unique Diamond!

The other is that ppl will pick odd spellings. One gal picked a common name like Sarah after her mom and added silent letters so her daughter would be different, Szarawh. It was pronounced just like Sarah and spelled weird!

There was also a family, I believe from India, who were in the US on business but she went into labor 6 weeks early. Anyway, her babe had 48 letters in her name when you add first second and last. I'm sure it was a cultural thing. Is it India where the baby has mom's maiden name for a first name and then the name they go by and then dads last name? Or something like that? She had every letter but q and z! But she was from another country and ehre on business so for all I know they all have really long names!

I have a friend named Tishandra and she just goes by Tish. She says her moms was smoking crack when they named her


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## OakEmber (Jul 3, 2002)

Piscean_mama...I fell in love with the name Ethan when I was 12 too, wonder if we watched the same movie that year (one with Ethan Hawke in it)







I love the name Willow too, BTW, and love that you have matched your kids middle names with your own significance.

This thread has got me thinking about a pet peeve, the whole "is it is real name thing". When we were pregnant with Dd, my Dh told some of his co-workers that we had Oakley picked out for a boy (see my sig. we are using it this time!!) anyway, one of them said it wasn't a name







: I'd love to have been there to retort that it IS infact a name, stemming from Old English...meaning from the oak tree meadow....and it was popular enough in 1910 to register on popularity charts...so it is a real name and it even has some history behind it! But, I don't expect that the person who said that has been obsessed with names for years like I have! It might surprise others to know that even Ember has a meaning...though it is hard to find in a name book, it means Anniversary, go figure. So don't go around assuming a name isn't one.









Ok, end rant.


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## Losgann (Jun 24, 2004)

OakEmber-

I don't remember *where* I came across the name Ethan! I just knew I loved it. <g> I remember the Ethan Allen furniture place was big back then, though. The thought did cross my mind I decided I liked Ethan enough to







at people who couldn't see past it.









Ethan Allen the person himself was actually an American Revolutionary in the 1700's and is still a model today In Vermont lol) for independence. I wish you could know how much that fits my Ethan today! <g!> Not that I named my Ethan after *that* Ethan.. just a bit of knowledge that passed through my mind at the time.

I love the name Oakley! I don't understand the whole 'it's not a name' thing either. It doesn't matter if it's a group of sounds put together you like, (have you read _A Name for a Lifetime_ by Pierre Le Rouzic?) or just a bunch of letters stuck together because you like the look/feel of it.. (numerology anyone? <g>) Any name surely has significance to the parent.

I'd much rather be able to name my child whatever I wanted and *love* the name and pass my love of the name to the child and give him/her confidence and self esteem (a name is a special thing!) than cave to what society (or family or friends) tell me I should/must name my child. Isn't this what much of the AP philosophy is about anyway? Not caving in to what society says is the 'normal' and 'right' way to parent? Following your heart and doing what you think is right?

In the end it's my child, my choice. I may not care for a name personally but who I am to say it's a horrible name? (unless you name your kid Trashbag or something similar, which, by the looks I've gotten when telling people my dd name is Willow you'd think I'd named her) It's all a very personal thing.









You and I should get together and trade name sites and things! PM me or I'll PM you?









piscean_mama
Fellow name-nut


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## Rainbow (Nov 19, 2001)

It is. I very seriously considered Emma because in my family for 7 generations the name was used rotated as mary Emma, and then Emma Mary. My great Aunt (the last Mary Emma) was a lesbian and never had any children (as in those days it simply wasn't something she felt she could be open about) I thought long and hard about using the name Emma to rekindle that beautiful family tradition. The thought of people like JuniperJoy hearing it and assuming I was just following trend bothered me though. Sometimes I regret not using it- but mostly I don't.
Overall I realized that having more uncommon names was important to me. My name was Alyson and it was only semi-popular but I still remember disliking when there was another Allison in my grade. So, I decided I wanted them to have a name that set them apart a little. Something that at least in their circle was theirs alone. For the most part at least.


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## Shann (Dec 19, 2003)

I have a friend who named her first son (for REAL !) "Cetan," which is pronounced exactly like "Satan" . He is 10 now and he actually LOVES his uncommon name. I think it's a very cool name myself ! Her 5 y/o dd is named Azariah, which is cool too.


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## Ragana (Oct 15, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shann*
I have a friend who named her first son (for REAL !) "Cetan," which is pronounced exactly like "Satan" . He is 10 now and he actually LOVES his uncommon name. I think it's a very cool name myself ! Her 5 y/o dd is named Azariah, which is cool too.

There is an actual last name spelled "Satan" pronounced differently (Sah-Tahn). I believe it's Romanian. My mom's friend's daughter married a "Satan"!


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## allbrightmama (Aug 8, 2004)

My son's name is Ethan and I love it! I swore up and down that I would have nothing to do with any name in the top 20. My husband had his heart set on Ethan. It was on our list from day 1 and we chose not to give it up just because it had become popular. The name means "strong" and the meaning is what I love.
I was born in 1974 so obviously my name is Jennifer. I hated being one of many and don't use my given name anymore. Besides, once I married I lost my unusual ethnic name and ended up with one of the most common last names in the US. The nickname ( given by friends in college to differentiate me from all of the other Jennifers) that I now go by is very unusual. What really strikes me is that people remember my name now. I was rarely remembered as Jennifer. Should my mother have gone with her second favorite name, Indra? I like it better but at least she didn't name me Dennifer. Her best friend did name her daughter just that because she wanted her name to be a little different. She was teased mercilessly because it sounded like a speech impediment.
I think the most important thing is that our children's names have special meaning to us. They have been chosen with love, thoughtfulness and hope. IMO that overrules everything else.


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## Piglet68 (Apr 5, 2002)

That's a good point about being remembered. When I was an undergrad, some of my classes had hundreds of people. But my professors remembered my name b/c it was unusual.


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## Ragana (Oct 15, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *allbrightmama*
Should my mother have gone with her second favorite name, Indra?

Allbrightmama: I love it, personally - it's my daughter's name!!!


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## Mamid (Nov 7, 2002)

We named DD Rowan Amanda. So far, other dp's father, everyone likes it. but then again he's the one who said "kid doesn't have my (last) name he ain't my kid."


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## Shann (Dec 19, 2003)

Ragana, I didn't know Satan was a last name too ! Wow ! I have always liked my friend's ds's name Cetan (rponounced Satan, for those who havent read the earlier post) and wish I had thought of it before she did for my own kids. I currently have one on the way and I have actually had thoughts of naming him (I am optimistic that it will be the boy we want) that too, but I would keep the normal spelling of Satan. Bf likes the idea too, so we may really do it !


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## BelovedBird (Apr 5, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shann*
Her 5 y/o dd is named Azariah, which is cool too.


Azariah (pronounced a-zar-yah is a jewish name (male) it meals "G-d helped".


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