# New here... so confused



## DanaBeth (Nov 18, 2007)

Hi, everyone. I'm glad I found you all.

I don't even know where to begin...

On Monday, Nov. 5, I went to the OB to confirm my pregnancy. I was 4 weeks, 6 days. They took blood and did a pelvic and told me everything looked good.

The next morning, I began to spot brown and pink. I called them even though I felt that it was normal (I have an almost 9 month old and had no problems at all during that pregnancy. I didn't ever think I would have problems with this one...) I told them that I though the spotting was because I had just had a BM (TMI -- sorry), and they said that it was probably due to the exam I had the day before and that they would add an hCG level to my bloodwork.

Later that same day, I began to have some period-like cramps and bleed more heavily. First it was dark red and kind of mucousy. Then later it looked like period bleeding. I called them again, and they told me that my hCG the day before was 35. I was devastated, but I kept hoping that I was just experiencing decidual bleeding. That night, I was on the toilet and felt something come out of me. At first, I just assumed it was the usual lining stuff from a period, but when I thought about it later, I remembered that it felt different -- I felt it drop, and it made a noise when it hit the water. My husband was there with me, and he saw the change in my expression ... I remember saying, "Oh, I felt that" -- something I wouldn't say during my period. When we looked, we saw what looked to me like normal period lining, but again, I didn't really believe that I was having a m/c ... I'm not sure what I saw. That was it for the major bleeding, although I did spot for about 6 days afterwards.

The next day (Wednesday) I had my levels checked again, and they were still 35. Then I had more blood drawn on Friday, and my level was 36. The OB told me to come back the following Friday (yesterday -- November 16). I did, and my level was still 36. She wanted me to get a Methotrexate shot, and I refused. One reason is because I'm just not convinced I need it -- she said that ectopic is a possibility although I have no risk factors -- and the other reason is because I'm breastfeeding my almost 9 month old and she told me just to wean him. I couldn't believe she said that! It's none of her business when I wean my son, which I don't want to do until he's a year old. When I asked her if I could just pump and dump, she told me she didn't know. I don't feel comfortable that she can't answer my question... Also, I guess there's a third reason too: I don't feel comfortable injecting that kind of drug in my body. I don't even like to take Tylenol. I'm so confused...

She told me that she suspects (like I do) that this was a uterine pregnancy and not an ectopic. She said that we could wait and see. I convinced her that I want an ultrasound, and I'm having one this Monday (November 19). I realize that my levels are probably too low for anything to be seen, but I need to try -- for my piece of mind. I also plan on demanding another pelvic (I never thought I would ever say that!) I've read that sometimes ectopics can be felt during a pelvic, and I want someone to at least try. I feel like they're trying to push Methotrexate too quickly without really checking me out.

Does anyone have any advice for me? Do hCG levels that stay the same always mean ectopic pregnancy? I've read that it can take time after a m/c for the numbers to drop... Could they stabilize like this before they being to drop? Did I even miscarry already? I'm so confused, and everything I've been reading online has made me even more confused. I'm sorry this is such a book... I just hope I can find some answers.

On top of it all, I'm grieving a baby I never got a chance to know. The doctors seem to forget that part. I feel like a part of me has died ... and I guess it has...

Any responses at all are very very much appreciated. Thank you for listening.

Dana


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## PrayinFor12 (Aug 25, 2007)

Hey Dana,
I'm sorry that I don't have any medical answers for you.

But I think you're right. It does sound like they're pushing meds. And it is odd that a doc would say "just wean" before a year. Sounds like red flags.

I can address that last little paragraph though. Grieving your baby is very valid and important. There are many of us here doing just that.
I also feel like a part of me died with my baby. I can't get over the idea that my own baby is in heaven. I'd never come so close to heaven until now. She also made me a mother. There really are changes in who you are when you lose a child. I just wanted to tell you someone else understands.

This a great forum. Also take a look at "pregnancy after loss." You may find some support there as well.

Hugs.


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## gretasmommy (Aug 11, 2002)

I am so sorry you are going through this difficult time - it's so hard, the not knowing.

From what I know of ectopic pregnancies, for the first 5-6 weeks the levels rise as expected for an intra-uterine pregnancy. And an u/s should show something at this point . . . if there is a something to be seen now. With steady, low HCG levels there might not be. I am so, so sorry.

As for the methotrexate, why take that step now? Just wait and see what your body does . . ..it's still so soon, and unless you have signs of infection or too much blood loss, you ought to be able to wait for a bit.

Take care.


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## NullSet (Dec 19, 2004)

I'm sorry.







I don't have any advice on whether it is an ectopic or not, but if they can rule that out then you can just wait and let your body naturally miscarry. I'm always leery of doctors who cannot answer my questions, just shows me they are going through the motions and treating me as they would the entire population, instead of me individually.

If you do decide to go the natural route, don't be surprised if you pass even more large pieces of tissue and clots.

And I am not entirely sure but I always got the feeling that an ectopic was accompanied by a lot of sharp pains.

Take care of yourself,


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## WaturMama (Oct 6, 2006)

I am so sorry for your loss, mama. The u/s sounds like a good way to get some information. Good for you for getting yourself one.


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## zonapellucida (Jul 16, 2004)

Sound intra uterine. Sorry for your loss.







mama


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## DanaBeth (Nov 18, 2007)

and the radiologist who performed it saw nothing. She said that my uterus looked good, as did my tubes and ovaries. She told me twice that, based on her exam and on my low hCG level, I am not in any danger. (Just to clarify -- this was the MD, not the ultrasound tech.) She told me that I have two options: to wait it out until my numbers drop by themselves or to get the Methotrexate shot and then wait for my numbers to drop. I asked the radiologist about a D&C (something my OB suggested to me as a possible course of action if I don't get the shot), and she said it would be absolutely unnecessary since there is nothing there to take out. She did mention that she saw fluid in my uterus, but she said it was only the fluid typically seen when women ovulate.

I asked her why my numbers have been steady, and she said that hCG decreases in different women at different rates and said again that she didn't think I was in danger.

I thought having the ultrasound would help, but I'm still so confused. One one side, I have the radiologist telling me not to worry, and on the other, I have my OB pushing the Methotrexate shot and making me feel so scared... I went into the ultrasound knowing that seeing nothing didn't mean that I don't have a problem (as my OB told me), but I don't know what to do... And I really thought my OB would call me to discuss the ultrasound results, but so far, she has not...

I had this ultrasound the Monday before Thanksgiving, and today I had yet another blood draw to check my hCG. I won't get those results until Monday.

Any thoughts? I feel so scared, and I'm becoming paranoid about everything. I try to do research on the Internet, but I just find myself getting more and more worried and scared. What can I do? Please help...


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