# Libido and breastfeeding?



## mamanurse (Jan 22, 2006)

My dd is 5 months old and I have had virtually no libido. I find myself forcing myself to have sex with my dh. We're intimate regularly, in that we cuddle and are close, but I have NO DESIRE to have sex, masturbate, or fool around. Could this be due to nursing/pumping? I'm not going to stop because of this. I'm just wondering if my sex drive will return when lactation dwindles/stops.


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## TurboClaudia (Nov 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamanurse*
I'm just wondering if my sex drive will return when lactation dwindles/stops.

most likely, yes. my drive returned when my periods returned just after our son turned a year old and he had reduced his nursing sessions over the previous couple of months and was eating more solids.

~claudia


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## LoveChild421 (Sep 10, 2004)

it's normal- for me the physical "urge" just wasn't there anymore but I knew that if I got started fooling around that I would want and enjoy sex. For me it's no longer a matter of waiting for the mood to strike but just thinking "hey if we get going it will be fun and relieve some stress"


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## InDaPhunk (Jun 24, 2005)

My libido returned about 5 1/2 months PP...

...which was about 1 week before we got news that DH was deploying to Iraq for 6 months







.


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## Boof (Dec 1, 2004)

DS is 12mo now and still.... I rarely think about sex. I was entirely OVERsexed before so this threw me for a loop. My libido was always bigger than hubbys so hes fine with the reversal of fortune. its only recently that i've started to think about it again.


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## DavinaT (Jun 28, 2005)

I believe the reason behind this becuase the high levels of the ormone prolactin which is needed for breastfeeding drive down the levels of sex hormone - leading to reduced urge, drier vaginal area and lower ability to orgasm.


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## mom2olivia (Apr 4, 2006)

Ughhh this is me! DD is almost 1 and I still have no urge whatsoever







I sure hope things pick up soon!


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## Arolinecay (May 4, 2004)

tell me about it!
I've only just had one period after 22 months of nursing and maybe things are starting to change.
Not only did I not have libido, but the idea of sex was totally strange, like, people like having sex?! ugh! yuck! ptooey! yeech!
Especially strange after being pregnant when I couldn't get enough and had the raunchiest thoughts. I mean the raunchiest








Good grief what a swing.


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## KatSG (Aug 11, 2003)

I was the same way. I think it got better after my periods returned at 9 mos. But I never really did get back to liking my breasts fondled again. I got pg right after dd weaned so there wasn't a time where they weren't strangely sensitive. I'm a little depressed knowing that it's going to be the better part of a year before I'm interested in sex again. Oh, well. A season in your life. It does come back.


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## Peony (Nov 27, 2003)

AF stayed away for for a long time, dd was over 2 years old before my libido started to make an appearance.


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## Slabobbin (Jan 29, 2004)

I'm the same way. DD is 14 months and AF still has not returned. My libido is non existant.


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## momof1sofar (Oct 6, 2004)

It seems like this is Mother Nature's way of enforcing a break between pregnancies. With DD1, I was just starting to get back in the mood at about 18-20 months. She was still nursing but we were down to 3 times a day. Of course, we also decided to try for #2 at that point, which is a good incentive.







Poor DH thought he was finally going to get some regular action, but I got pregnant right away and my libido went away again! He's more resigned to it this time around.


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## damonna1115 (Feb 11, 2006)

This is my second child breastfeeding. And with the first I didn't have my period for 18 months, which is when my libido started returning. But every time I did try to have sex before that, I had pain. It hurt so much, we would go a long time without actually doing anything. I hated it. And now with my youngest being born, I am dealing with it again. I had started going away with the onset of my periods too. And I have been to a doctor and they can't find anything. Sometimes I think they just don't care.








jyredyggf
Sorry, my son wanted to put his 2 cents in.








Now, my youngest is 13 months and it is starting to get a little less painful. (probably meaning my periods are just around the corner







)
I am able to work around it some. I am so happy my husband is as wonderful and understanding as he is. But it can make him feel bad when I just don't have interest in being physical.
Has anyone else had the pain problem. Atleast it goes away eventually right?


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## CarrieLauth (Mar 18, 2006)

This seems so common, and I do think it is natural (helping us not have babies too close together), but part of it is our own ideas. Being somewhat uncomfortable with our new bodies (no more flat belly etc) and not being able to get baby off our minds.

Personally I need to ovulate to feel really interested...

What helps me is to just remind myself that marriage is a contest of generosity. Dh makes sure I always have fun... I just have to play along for a few minutes, until I'm into it.









Carrie


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## eden/averymum (Jun 13, 2005)

I'm nursing 15 months old twins and have had my period for about 4 months now. I still have very little drive, but I used to have NONE, it is very slwoly returning.


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## ElisabethAnne (Sep 29, 2005)

Me too! My dd is 2 1/2, still nursing frequently, and still no periods. I have zero sex drive! I have tried just about everything to get the desire back but it's just not there. I'm hoping that it will come back when she stops nursing, but we'll probably start trying for number two when I start ovulating again.


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## mom2olivia (Apr 4, 2006)

I've long since had my period (since around 3months pp) and still no libido







Oh how I wish I knew when it would return! I just keep telling DH I'm broken


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## lunasmommy (Jun 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LoveChild421*
it's normal- for me the physical "urge" just wasn't there anymore but I knew that if I got started fooling around that I would want and enjoy sex. For me it's no longer a matter of waiting for the mood to strike but just thinking "hey if we get going it will be fun and relieve some stress"

this is us totally, i'm the same way. dd is 1 tomarrow.


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## fanniefarkle (Oct 20, 2005)

I didn't get my mojo back until quite recently, and I felt like something was wrong w/ me. It is comforting to hear that I am not alone. As nursing became less frequent, my sex drive increased over time.


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## samantha546 (Aug 4, 2005)

The thing is, we receive tactile sensations through our children. They are attached to us, sucking at the boob and touching us all day. Guys don't really get that. DD is 10 months and I've had my period since she was 4 months old. Sex was difficult in the beginning because of the discomfort but I don't engage in anything now without the slick stick.

The interest is so not there-- whether it's day or night. Poor DH has to initiate everytime. But once it starts, then it's all good.. sometimes. I sell lotions and potions and I am sooo glad for what we call "party in your pants". It's no libido-in-a-bottle.. but it's close


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## oliviagoddess (Jan 10, 2003)

I don't know but I was a nursing horn dog. Of course if you ask my husband I was an ice queen but we were having issues and I wasn't going to have 2 minutes of sex and end up pregnant again, I so kept to myself.

I do know that nursing makes your brain produce the orgasm hormone oxytocin (I think) and some women experience vaginal contractions when nursing. Nature wants you to nurse the baby and have sex to bond the family together. It makes no sense for the hunter to go away when there is a little mouth to feed.

Try to relax when nursing and see if you hit that zen spot.

Also try to re-examine your relationship, are you secretly harboring a grudge against your spouse? Do you resent that he does to work, expects the house to be clean, kids quiet and food on the table? Do you feel under-appreciated, does your spouse act like another child you have to take care of (mine needed his clothes picked out for work every monrning)? Does he expect to have you ready to go without any forplay or clitoral stimulation (things change after you have a baby after all - pre baby I didn't want foreplay, now I do - go figure)? Do you just need a bit of you alone time getting your nails done once a week?

All of these factors will contribute to your libido not being what it's supposed to be.

I disagree with the "just do it" mentality and here's why: a man will assume that as long you are putting out everything is OK, even if its not! SEX = OK in a guy's reptile brain that's why they marry bimbos who spend all their money and not see it coming!

So if there are issues, by all means hold out and make him talk about it. Go to counceling or just scream at each other for 2 years (that what we did) and try to work it out.


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## mom2olivia (Apr 4, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oliviagoddess*
Also try to re-examine your relationship, are you secretly harboring a grudge against your spouse? Do you resent that he does to work, expects the house to be clean, kids quiet and food on the table? Do you feel under-appreciated, does your spouse act like another child you have to take care of (mine needed his clothes picked out for work every monrning)? Does he expect to have you ready to go without any forplay or clitoral stimulation (things change after you have a baby after all - pre baby I didn't want foreplay, now I do - go figure)? Do you just need a bit of you alone time getting your nails done once a week?

All of these factors will contribute to your libido not being what it's supposed to be.

I disagree with the "just do it" mentality and here's why: a man will assume that as long you are putting out everything is OK, even if its not! SEX = OK in a guy's reptile brain that's why they marry bimbos who spend all their money and not see it coming!

So if there are issues, by all means hold out and make him talk about it. Go to counceling or just scream at each other for 2 years (that what we did) and try to work it out.

Yes to all of the above!







: Except its no secret!







He knows I'm harboring a grudge! I've told him till I'm blue in the face what needs to change and he refuses to alter his way of thinking


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## futureCPM (Jun 28, 2005)

Well, I'd say don't be so hard on yourself or your DH. It's mostly the effects of hormones. When you give birth and of course when you nurse, your body releases prolactin. As the name suggests, this hormone helps and keeps you lactating. However, in men, this is the hormone that is released after his orgasm which causes his "refractory period" probably best known by you as "sleepy time." Of course, the pharmaceutical companies are currently working (I think are close) on a prolactin-inhibitor to remove or shorten this time as the next Viagra. It's intended use is of course for ED but like Viagra, etc. will become a recreational drug. My concern, of course, is women who take this but especially BFing women. I think it will cause massive BFing problems but I guess we'll have to wait and see. I doubt that this is a group (BFing moms) that they'll test on but maybe if they have sense.

Anyway, my point was







that the BFing hormones released lessen libido and AF's return as you're experiencing.


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## beansavi (Jun 26, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oliviagoddess*
I don't know but I was a nursing horn dog.









:

But seriously, my libido is nill, too. It kind of freaks me out because after my first two kids, I didn't have this "problem". In fact I have never experienced this absolute zero in sexuality. Woah, dude. It's really hard on dh, but I will say once we get going, I'm enjoyin' myself...


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## chasmyn (Feb 23, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Arolinecay*
tell me about it!
I've only just had one period after 22 months of nursing and maybe things are starting to change.
Not only did I not have libido, but the idea of sex was totally strange, like, people like having sex?! ugh! yuck! ptooey! yeech!

This is me entirely, and DS is 9.5 months. I just don't even care for it, and feel all prudish when people talk about it.


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