# Cline-Fay Institute Love & Logic Parenting Tapes?



## ajsgirl (Mar 31, 2004)

My aunt just sent me these tapes, a series of 11 tapes to be exact. They're called the "Life Saver Kit" and the "First Aid Kit" and they're all about "successful parenting"... setting limits, trouble free teens, chores, etc. My aunt loved it and thought I might like it too.

Has anyone heard of this kit before? What was your take on it?


----------



## GracesMama (Oct 24, 2006)

I'm not familiar with the tapes, but I am familiar with their books _Discipline with Love and Logic_ and _Parenting with Love and Logic_, and I've attended two of their conferences, one by Jim Fay and the other by his son.

As an elementary school teacher, I found their philosophy extremely helpful. Instead of a long list of "rules" we stuck with "Be kind, Be respectful, Be honest" or something like that. When kids misbehaved I could always connect their behavior to one of those values. Instead of a list of consequences, consequences are different for each offense, and as logical as possible. For example, if a student neglected to turn in homework they had to use their free time (recess, lunch, when they were finished with their work) to make it up. The biggest things: no yelling, no physical violence, no put downs.

They're really about prevention: setting up your classroom/home with routines so everyone knows what's expected of them, developing a close, personal relationship with each child, giving choices constantly to help the child feel a sense of control, telling the child what you'll do, not what they'll do....for example with my 2 year old, "I'll give you the paint when you sit in your high chair and put on your bib". The first time I tried that my child threw a fit and I just kept repeating it. Within minutes, she scrambled into her high chair and let me put on her bib. Now she always sits there when she wants to paint!

Now, as for the book specifically for parents. I read it while pregnant with DD, looking ahead I know, and wasn't so thrilled with some of their suggestions. However, I wouldn't throw out the whole philosophy because it definitely helped me be a better teacher and I think it has helped with many of my parenting choices I make now...I would place myself in the GD category.

Anyhow, there's a lot more to it, and I encourage you to listen to it. But, don't expect to love everything they have to say. I'd love to hear what you think about it.


----------



## 2Late2BCreative (Jul 3, 2002)

As with alot of things, I take what works for my family and leave the rest behind. So...with that said, I do like alot of LL's approach. Not sure I like ALL their ideas but the ones we loved best were the "uh oh" to things DS did when he was a toddler. It really did work for us. Scenario: DS manhandles the tv, we say "uh oh" (nothing else is said) and put him in a pack-n-play or gated off area. He learned without any battles. Works for DD who is 7 for picking up her belongings. We say "Feel free to pick up what you'd like to keep." And she does...now, it took a time or two for her to know that what wasn't picked up was thrown away, given away or taken away. If it was taken away, she had to "earn" it back. Also, love the "Love you too much to argue" phrase Cline or Fay uses alot. It works for us. Good luck with it. Just keep an open mind especially if something doesn't jive with you. The premise behind their approach is worth thinking about. Let children learn valuable experiences now when they are cheaper rather than later when it costs alot more.


----------



## mom22girls (May 5, 2005)

I agree with the other posters. I also find it easier to implement with older children - and didn't think their book for parents of young children had much value. I do like the premise though. I've found it really helpful to keep me from solving my kids' problems and telling them what they should do. We've gotten some mind-blowingly creative solutions to some tough problems generated by the kids.

Some people have a problem with their time outs (which I don't remember), but I use them less as a punative thing as a regroup thing. "feel free to come back from your room when you can stop screaming..." That being said, I use that for me too, "I need to calm down, I'll be back when I can stop yelling." I've found THAT REALLY helpful!!!!

I use L&L with Parent Effectiveness Training (Gordon Brown) and also Anthony Wolf. So I take what I like from everyone!


----------

