# Baby won't eat AT ALL (unless asleep)!!!



## DQMama (Mar 21, 2006)

Hi everyone,

This is my first post in this forum, and I apologize in advance for its length. First let me say that I nursed my son for two years (survived a teething-related nursing strike at 7 months but otherwise uneventful) and am totally committed to breastfeeding. However, my 15-week-old daughter seems to have other ideas and I really need some support. She has been on a nursing strike--it will be 3 weeks on Friday. She will only eat when very sleepy or completely asleep.

She has reflux but her symptoms are under control w/ Zantac (1.0 mL 3x a day). I also have OALD but my ped, LC, LLL leader, and I also believe she has reflux in addition to this (I know the symptoms can sometimes be similar). I tried dairy and soy free diet for two weeks before trying Zantac and also tried giving up all spicy foods, tomatoes, chocolate, etc. I basically ate chicken, rice, plain baked potatoes, and veggies. I have not done a total elimination diet but may consider it. I should add that we have no food allergies in our family on either side.

Anyway, now things are getting really bad. I saw an LC last Friday and she gave me good suggestions. I could initially get Abby to nurse while rocking, patting, and playing music simultaneously. After 10 days with a 1/2 oz weight gain, she gained 4 oz. over the weekend. I was thrilled, but the past two days she is up to her old tricks. She acts hungry but will cry and pull away from the breast. Sometimes she will not even latch, other times she'll latch for a few seconds, and other times she will latch until the letdown. The LC even gave me a nipple shield (which she said she hates to do) but I was using it only on the right side and only until after the letdown slowed. Now Abby is refusing to nurse even with the shield, and she is even refusing a bottle of pumped milk. I am also trying catching the letdown in a cloth but then more often than not she will not latch back on.

On top of all this, my almost three-year-old son is very very jealous. Nursing Abby (or trying to get her to nurse) is taking literally ALL my time and he is getting no attention. I can't sit and read to him while I nurse, as I used to, since any sound will distract her and cause her to pull away. At least four times a day we all end up crying. Today my husband had to come home early from work, and this is not something he can easily do in his job.

I guess my question is, at what point do you give up and decide, enough is enough? If she prefers a bottle, which she seems to although she isn't taking anything now while awake, maybe I should pump during the day and just breastfeed her at night and during her one long nap when my son is also sleeping and I can sleep with her?

I should also add she is an avid thumb sucker and prefers to soothe herself to sleep with her thumb while I hold her. Once she is almost out, I can nurse her








My LLL leader said thumb sucking to sleep is a symptom of OALD in the mother so that is consistent, although it makes me feel very guilty that she can comfort herself better than I can.

Thanks for any advice/support/"I've been there."

Amy
Ethan 5-9-03
Abby 12-30-05


----------



## IansMommy (Jun 14, 2005)

Lots of (((hugs))), mama...sounds like you are doing so much. I wish I had good advice. Is there any chance your baby has thrush? My dd acted similarly in the beginning, and she had thrush. I didn't have a lot of pain, and she had no white spots, but after treatment she was 100% better.


----------



## DQMama (Mar 21, 2006)

Thanks so much for your reply. You are actually the second person to suggest that to me. Like you, the other mother and her baby had no symptoms either. I asked my dr but he saw no symptoms--he agreed when I said there aren't always symptoms, but he said that if he couldn't see anything then thrush couldn't be bad enough to cause a strike. But now I am wondering again. We have a weight check on Friday so I will ask for a prescription. I'm sure it can't hurt to try treatment, and it could help! In the meantime, and if he denies me a prescription, are there any natural treatments I could try? Thanks!

Amy


----------



## mominchina (May 31, 2005)

I don't have any great advice, other than to say hang in there. I do remember a phase with dd when she would only nurse when sleeping. Probably when she was around 3 months old?? I can't remember how long it lasted, but I do remember that it was frustrating! Can't imagine what I would have done if I'd had a toddler to care for too. Hope it gets better soon.


----------



## mama-a-llama (Feb 8, 2006)

First let me say you're doing a great job, working so hard for your baby.
What you describe is consistent with reflux. I've talked to a lot of moms of refluxers, and refusing to eat is very common. You say her reflux is under control with Zantac. Who says? The dr? IME, if she's refusing to eat, it may not be under control.
I wish I had advice, but I don't. I can only say I've been there and it's hard. I hope you can find a solution.


----------



## wannabe (Jul 4, 2005)

Hang in there!

Your story is exactly like mine (minus the toddler). Started at 11 weeks and was pretty much over it by around 5 - 5 1/2 months.

I gave up on trying to nurse her unless she was asleep - too much screaming and just not getting anywhere and really bad vibe between us. So, I fed her when I could catch her waking up (she napped in the sling so I could whip her out at a moments notice), and at night. She got through fine - you'd be surprised how resilient they are.


----------



## alexysmommy (Mar 9, 2005)

My dd did the exact same thing , the pull off back on and off again etc...She had VERY severe reflux, and did this because eating was causing her pain. Can you try something like prevacid or prilosec? If she is fussing at the breast, then her symptoms are NOT under control....feeding problems is a symptom of reflux. Until you find the meds that work for you, try nursing her laying back, or a modified football hold, with her in a more upright position. After feedings keep her upright for 30 min, this may also help her want to go back on the breast. Dont give up, I was in denial about reflux causing our feeding problems, and thought she wasnt getting enough milk....i finally gave up and switched to formula and our problems got SO much worse. And she didnt do any better with the bottle than she did with me. Reflux is hard, but breastmilk is by far the best thing for her right now.


----------



## IansMommy (Jun 14, 2005)

As far as possible thrush goes...don't rely on the ped. Mine was such an a$$ when I thought we had it. Peds really don't know anything about nursing.
Anyway, try grapefruit seed extract. I think you can get it at the healthfood store. Also, use the search feature on this website. Type in thrush. You will get SO MANY ideas from the wise mamas here. One thought though...if indeed it is thrush, *you* may need a 14 day round of Diflucan for yourself. I would try the grapefruit seed extract first, though...because you don't need a prescription and a lot of the mamas here say it is great.


----------



## carrietorgc (Sep 16, 2003)

omg, this is just what happened to us!

in our case - a mild case of reflux and dairy intolerance was multiplied by yeast - and the only symptoms he had were clicking when latching/pulling off. treat you both with gse and gentian violet and strong probiotics for both. get prilosec or prevacid - alot of babies max out on zantac quickly. www.marci-kids.com has great info on the meds out there.

in our case we had a 3 mo + nursing strike, and eventually had to wean to neocate. he had total nursing and bottle refusal. now that his food allergies are under control and the yeast is almost under control, he is eating better. he just had rotavirus and went a wk without his probiotic, and is already eating worse.

i feel for you - it sucks sucks sucks. i also have a 3 yr old and the whole family struggled for months and months. i too thought that ds would eventually nurse better. he would nurse awake sometimes, but would self limit and didn't gain for 2 mo.


----------



## willow659 (Feb 26, 2006)

I didn't have time to read all of the replies, but my son did the same thing for 5 or 6 mths. He was on propulsid (sp?) for reflux along with zantac. He was sensitive to dairy so I cut all milk out. I'd have to rouse him just enough to eat. I would get him to open his mouth a little and squirt a couple drops in his mouth and softly rub circles on his cheek or lines going down on his throat with my fingers and then he would swallow. I did this real low key to not wake him up completely and keep him from deep sleep.. when let down would start sometimes I just let bits flow in his mouth instead of him latching on. He nursed for comfort, but not for nurishment. My ob gave me a prescription for around 20 diflucan and had me take one a day and the ped gave me nizoral and nystatin to alternate on ds tush.around 5 or 6 months he nursed like a champ. Don't give up - you're doing great. Don't get discouraged. I'm not sure what fixed our nursing, I was a teen at the time and didn't know squat about bfing. I just went with my instints and everything worked out just fine. Follow your instincts. Good Luck!


----------



## sunnysideup (Jan 9, 2005)

I am sorry, this are really hard right now. I just wanted to offer my encouragment to hang in there with the nursing. i think if you can get over this hump (though I'm sure it feels like a big one) it'll be much easier in the long run. have you tried taking the baby to bed for a weekend? If it is at all posible to have your dh handle the older child duties, a weekend in bed with constant skin to skin contact can often get a reluctant baby back to breast. Some other ideas that work for some moms-- nursing while in motion; increasing skin to skin contact; wearing baby in the sling; trying different positions; nursing in a darkened room with no distractions. It is also a good idea to express your milk and cup feed, so that baby's sucking needs are met at the breast.


----------



## DQMama (Mar 21, 2006)

Carrie, we're in Fairfax too. AND Abby clicks while nursing! No other thrush symptoms though. It is definitely worth asking about tomorrow since so many others seem to suffer from it AND I had antibiotics during labor.

Thanks everyone for the encouragement. We will keep nursing while asleep and maybe one of these days she'll nurse awake. If not I'll tackle that when the time comes. I am just too tired and can't worry about it anymore. I give up.


----------



## sunnysideup (Jan 9, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DQMama*
AND Abby clicks while nursing!

The clicking is usually a latch problem. Have you had that checked?


----------



## DQMama (Mar 21, 2006)

The lactation consultant said she clicks to control the flow of milk due to my OALD. I don't know if that's the case or not. Thanks.


----------



## carrietorgc (Sep 16, 2003)

amy, are you doing nursing blocks to control the oald? nursing laying down to help the flow slow? good to see another fairfax mama!

so is she still nursign well asleep? that is a good sign if she is!







are you sure the zantac has it under control? is she at the max for her weight? also, sometimes you need to give food elim longer than 2 wks to see if it will make a difference. www.kidswithfoodallergies.org is a great resource for food intolerances. they have a forum just for nursing moms.

clicking is a latch issue - in our case he started clicking b/c he was breaking the latch due to mouth discomfort.

i hope something gives soon!


----------



## DQMama (Mar 21, 2006)

Abby is nursing a little better--thanks everyone for all the encouragement! She will latch on and nurse for a few minutes while awake but she still pulls on and off a little. At least she doesn't scream and cry as soon as I put her in a nursing position! She is nursing very well while asleep and gaining like a champ. Her last weigh in was 12 lbs 7 oz and she was at 11 lbs 13 1/2 oz when all this started about 4 wks ago.

Carrie, I was doing the blocks but the LC said since she wasn't gaining to use both breasts at each feeding. I did that for a while but it was just too much effort to get her to take the second one. Now I am using one breast per feeding but not doing blocks. I am laying down for most feeds and she does much better. She is now at the max Zantac dose for her weight. Her symptoms are still mild (mild choking, gagging, very little spit up, etc.).

We have an appt w/ a GI doc next week. I am not hopeful that he will be able to help since I will not agree to any invasive tests. She is doing better and gaining so those would be absolutely unnecessary. Thanks again for all the support!
Amy


----------

