# cosleeping safety questions - bed pushed against wall, one parent smokes



## janiecakes (Jul 4, 2007)

I cosleep with my 8 month old about 2/3 of the night (he starts out in his crib so that I can get some deeper sleep at the beginning of the night). My partner is a smoker and has been sleeping on our couch. My son is getting more and more mobile and I'm getting a bit worried about him falling off the bed. I thought about pushing the bed against the wall and having my son sleep between me and the wall, then I thought of having my partner come back into bed with us since he wouldn't be right beside the baby. Is this safe? What are the reasons a smoker isn't supposed to co-sleep? He is trying to quit but he's been smoking for around 15 years so it has been very tough for him.

Thanks in advance for your help!


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## emo1221 (Jul 21, 2007)

I just think they mean smokers aren't supposed to cosleep if they're smoking in the bedroom, which probably isn't safe to do anyway because of a fire hazard. Our bed is pushed against the wall, but ds isn't big enough, imo, to sleep between me and the wall yet. i'm sure when he gets bigger that's where he'll go.


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## goodheartedmama (Feb 1, 2007)

the smoke from your partner's clothing could be a hazard to a baby breathing it. I would never allow a smoker to sleep near my child.


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## janiecakes (Jul 4, 2007)

What if the smoker slept with no clothes on and wasn't on the baby's side of the bed?










(can you tell I really miss sleeping with my man?)


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## javilu (Oct 20, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *janiecakes* 
What if the smoker slept with no clothes on and wasn't on the baby's side of the bed?









(can you tell I really miss sleeping with my man?)

maybe he could have pajamas or other clothes he wears only while sleeping and never while smoking, and took a shower before coming to bed. the particles in smoke can also stick to skin and hair.


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## junipermuse (Nov 1, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *puffnstuff* 
maybe he could have pajamas or other clothes he wears only while sleeping and never while smoking, and took a shower before coming to bed. the particles in smoke can also stick to skin and hair.

I was thinking the same thing. If he takes a shower and wears clean pj's or nothing at all then it should be okay. You just want to make sure all the smoke particles are washed away


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## fawny (Jul 25, 2007)

I think it's dangerous to have your mattress pushed against the wall too because your baby might get trapped in the crack and suffocate. DD sleeps at the edge of the bed with me in the middle and DH on the other side, we have a Snug Tuck pillow on my side of the bed though so DD can't roll off.


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## Julian's Momma (Oct 25, 2006)

OMG! Call me crazy, but I never knew that. My husband smokes and we co-sleep with my 18 mo old. Granted I am usually in the middle and my husband sleeps naked, but still!!!!

What about during the day when smoking dads (or friends) are around the baby!?! Anyone have more info or a link to learn more? I always just assumed it was only a hazard when someone was actually smoking a cigarette!


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## MysteryMama (Aug 11, 2006)

my dh smokes and he sleeps with ds. i don't think it's a big deal. he doesn't smoke in the house. maybe it doesn't seem like a big deal to me cause i was raised in a cloud of smoke.


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## theatermom (Jun 5, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Julian's Momma* 
OMG! Call me crazy, but I never knew that. My husband smokes and we co-sleep with my 18 mo old. Granted I am usually in the middle and my husband sleeps naked, but still!!!!

What about during the day when smoking dads (or friends) are around the baby!?! Anyone have more info or a link to learn more? I always just assumed it was only a hazard when someone was actually smoking a cigarette!

I don't have great links for this, but one is: http://www.smoke-free.ca/Health/Healtheffectssmoke.htm

There's a little bit of info on the Dr. Sears site. I also received a hand-out from the ped (














concerning the absorption of the chemicals in cigarettes into the skin. I know from my own experience that I don't have to be in the room with someone who is smoking to take the odor home with me on my skin, clothes, and hair, if I have contact with them later. It hangs around for a long time (kind of like when you get bleach on your hands).

That said, I grew up in a "cloud of smoke", too, and I would have been extremely grateful if the only contact I had with 2nd hand smoke was with smoky hair and clothes. Definitely the worst thing by far that a person can do, smoking-wise, with kids, is to smoke in the house or the car.

So, I wouldn't worry, but I wouldn't hand my babe to someone who had just finished a cigarette, either.


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## janiecakes (Jul 4, 2007)

Thanks for the help everyone. I think we're going to push the bed against the wall with one of those snug tuck pillows there just in case, and have my partner come back to bed sans smokey clothes after washing. Yay!


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## rmzbm (Jul 8, 2005)

Sorry if this isn't popular but no way would I allow a smoker to sleep with my child. Maybe I am sensative but I can smell a smoker a mile away & I don't want my child breathing that.


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## janiecakes (Jul 4, 2007)

rmzbm, would it still be an issue for you if the smoker a) was not sleeping beside the baby, b) was not wearing any clothes that were worn while smoking, c) had showered (or washed face and hands) before coming to bed? Can you explain what you think the consequences would be?


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## Picturesque (May 31, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *janiecakes* 
Thanks for the help everyone. I think we're going to push the bed against the wall with one of those snug tuck pillows there just in case, and have my partner come back to bed sans smokey clothes after washing. Yay!

This sounds reasonable to me! Glad you found a solution that will (hopefully) work for everyone!


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## Erin M (Nov 6, 2006)

I can't remember my source, I'll see if I can find it and post it here. Smokers should not co-sleep because of the way smoking affects lung function, which affects sleep. Smokers sleep deeper than non-smokers. I assume this is more pertinent to co-sleeping with a newborn


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## Ruthe (May 31, 2005)

Janiecakes, there is also a concern that smokers are still breathing particles of smoke out from deep in their lungs even when they aren't smoking. Not smoking in the house or anywhere else around the baby is better than the alternative, but whenever he's around the baby, breathing, coughing, wearing clothes he's worn while smoking, the baby is getting exposure. My understanding is that The reason that smoking is a contrindication to cosleeping is that this exposure causes the baby's breathing function to be slightly depressed. I know he's trying but quitting smoking altogether is the most loving thing he could do for the baby, for you, and for himself.


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## theatermom (Jun 5, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rmzbm* 
Sorry if this isn't popular but no way would I allow a smoker to sleep with my child. Maybe I am sensative but I can smell a smoker a mile away & I don't want my child breathing that.

My brother smokes, and when he is freshly showered and has clean clothes on, you can't tell that he's a smoker. Trust me -- I can smell smoke (or anything really) from a mile away, as well, and I feel just as strongly about the negative consequences of smoking (especially around children).

That said, the situation described by the op does not bother me. The child is on the other side of the mother, the father is clean and not wearing smokey clothing. A child has a limited range of breathing, and unless the parent in question is coughing on her/him throughout the night, s/he is not going to be affected any more than during the day.

The best solution for anyone is to quit, but this isn't a thread about quitting smoking.


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## zoe196 (Mar 20, 2007)

here in the UK there are numerous leaflets/posters up at eh children's clinics advising NEVER to have a smoker sleep with a baby-- appartently it increases the risk of SIDS and it doesn't matter when or where the smoker smokes (as in doesn't have to be around baby) it's still a risk.

I also grew up in a cloud of smoke and smoked myself for years (not for the last 4.5) and am hideously senstive to the smell now...determined that ds won't be exposed to smoke; a struggle as both my mom and ds dad smoke heavily. I won't allow either to sleep w/ ds.

Zoe
mamma to Thomas 01-06


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## Kittymom (May 26, 2004)

I remember reading about a study that showed that the protective effect of cosleeping in regards to SIDS was negated if the cosleeping was with a smoker. The article I read said it was probably because a smoker's lungs expel toxins during the night.

However, you have largish bed and the baby isn't next to your partner, it might not be so bad.


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## nighten (Oct 18, 2005)

My husband smokes, but the baby sleeps right next to me and my husband has a strict routine he goes through for smoking:

He always puts on an outer layer (like a coat or jacket) which he removes when he's finished, only smokes outside, pulls his hair back in a ponytail beforehand, and when he's finished he washes his hands and face and brushes his teeth. This seriously reduces the amount of exposure our child has to secondhand smoke from his clothing and skin.

While that may not prevent excess toxins from being released in her lungs at night, since the baby isn't snuggled up next to him at all (we've got a big king bed and he often sleeps on the couch too), I haven't worried about it. We've also got a great air purifier in our bedroom.

You might want to take a blanket, big towel, or quilt and roll it up tightly then wrap it somehow to keep it rolled up in a tube if need be. Place it under the fitted sheet, next to to the wall. This can provide a natural barrier so your baby won't risk getting stuck in between the mattress and the wall. Or you could try a SnugTuck pillow (that's what we have but our bed's not against the wall), but again, I'd recommend it going under the fitted sheet.

For us, we're comfortable with my husband still smoking (since he's been unable to quit and I don't harp on him about it because he's diligent about his routine) but only because of the measures he takes each time before and after he has a smoke.

It's up to you and your comfort level, obviously though. Good luck Mama. I know it's not an ideal situation, but it's one we've learned to live with in as cautious a manner as possible given the difficulties he's had.


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## FoxintheSnow (May 11, 2004)

I gotta find the study..but some study found that children in families with smokers-even if they smoked outside and changed their clothes and showered still had much higher levels of nicotine in their bodies.

Ill be back if I can find it.

OK I found this so far

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases...0513080257.htm

which has nothing to do with cosleeping but does show the effect of smoking even outside the home on kids.


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## theatermom (Jun 5, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jokerama* 
I gotta find the study..but some study found that children in families with smokers-even if they smoked outside and changed their clothes and showered still had much higher levels of nicotine in their bodies.

Ill be back if I can find it.

OK I found this so far

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases...0513080257.htm

which has nothing to do with cosleeping but does show the effect of smoking even outside the home on kids.

ITA w/this. That said, I don't think that the child in question, under the proposed co-sleeping conditions, is going to be MORE affected by her father sharing the bed than she would ordinarily be during the day (perhaps even less so, considering that he isn't apt to shower and change clothes every time he smokes).

So, the ideal is not to smoke at all, especially when there are children in the house. Since the ideal cannot be met in this instance, at least not right away, then I find the alternative that the mother has created to be sufficient.


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