# I just need someone to talk to



## punkrawkmama27 (Aug 31, 2007)

I went in to see the NP today to make sure I was gaining weight, since I had been so sick with morning sickness I had lost a couple pounds the last visit. I told her I did not have anymore morning sickness and had been feeling good the last week. She listened for the baby's hb, but could not find it. She tried another doppler, still could not find it, so she took me to another room and used a portable US machine, I could see the sac with the baby, but I could not see the heartbeat and had to turn my head. I think she knew too, but wanted me to go to the ultrasound tech with the larger machine and double check. I had my two boys with me and we were switching rooms like crazy, but I held it together so I would not scare them, they didnt like to see me up on the table anyway. The tech looked, closer. closer..no heartbeat. I knew. The ultrasound tech said the baby measured 9.5 weeks, I should be 12 weeks now, so the baby died a couple weeks ago. The NP asked if I understood, and I said I did. She wanted me to make an appointment to go over my options with a doctor, but I said I would rather wait at home and let it happen naturally. I did not cry until I got to the car and called my dh and mom. I am alone (besides the kids) right now. DH is working 100 miles away from here today, I dont really have any friends to come over and chat with me, and my family lives 45 minutes from here. I feel very sad and lonely.
I just want to know will it happen naturally? How long until it does? How long does it take? The NP told me to save the tissue and clots and bring them to the ER, but I would rather bury my little one in my garden so I can have her with me here.


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## kittywitty (Jul 5, 2005)

I'm close to you. I wish I could come over and give you a hug. Is there anything I can do for you? The weather is going to get snowy and nasty tonight. Maybe I can drop off some cookies for you?


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## A Mothers Love (Nov 1, 2006)

I found out @ 10 weeks that we lost our baby @ 6 weeks. I did not M/C until 13 weeks.
They kept saying d&c...D&C...but I just waited. I did end up in hosp. due to blood loss...& again dr's were....D&C.. and transfussion.I said no, they just pulled tissue from my cervix w/ these tong looking things & the bleeding slowed down. I still almost needed transfussion..but got out of there w/out it.

If you really want to wait for it to happen on it's own....wait. Just watch for a fever. Take your temp. once a day & don't let it get over 101 (this is what they told me anyway) When you do start to bleed..watch that you don't soak more than 1 pad an hour, or if you get dizzy, have fever...you need to go in.
If you live in an appt. or may plan to ever move...you may want to place your baby in a beautiful pot w/ a beautiful flower/plant.(this way you can move it if you need/want to)

I am so sorry you are hurting. I have been there twice, & it is hard.
If you ever want to talk you may pm me. I will be glad to be there for you.


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## DreamWeaver (May 28, 2002)

I am so sorry for your loss Mama!








for your Little One.


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## zonapellucida (Jul 16, 2004)

mama


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## rach03 (Dec 30, 2006)

I'm so sorry for your loss.









My baby stopped developing at 9 weeks and I miscarried at about 11.5, so it took over 2 weeks for mine to start. It can vary as to how long it takes to begin, but I think a lot of miscarriages happen within 2-4 weeks of the baby passing away. I remember reading that somewhere.

My miscarriage started when I woke up Monday morning with brownish discharge. It turned red as the day went on. Cramping started. Almost 24 hours later Tuesday morning I passed the baby. So it can happen very quickly.

Watch for fever, signs of infection, soaking a pad every hour for more than a couple hours. Then you would need to go in.


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## meredyth0315 (Aug 16, 2007)




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## normajean (Oct 21, 2003)

I am so very sorry.


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## bluewatergirl (Jul 26, 2007)

I am so sorry for the loss of your precious baby.


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## shesaidboom (Oct 19, 2007)

I wish I could come give you a real hug. I'm so sorry for your loss.


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## apmama2myboo (Mar 30, 2005)

so very sorry to hear of your loss. please know you're not alone


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## jmo (Mar 18, 2006)

So sorry for your loss, mama. I've had 2 m/c's. The first baby died at 9 weeks and m/c'd at 11 wks. The second baby died at 7 wks and m/c'd at 10 wks. So it can take awhile. I fully understand you wanting to wait it out and let your body do it naturally. There's no reason, at this point, that you should have to have a d&c. Good luck to you.


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## mommyfied (Jun 25, 2007)

I'm sorry!

If you haven't checked yet, there is a lot of good info in the stickied thread above about what to expect in a m/c. Here's the link:
http://mothering.com/discussions/sho...d.php?t=187976


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## cyrusmama (Oct 17, 2004)

I am so sorry for your loss mama.


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## WeasleyMum (Feb 27, 2007)

I'm *so* sorry.







Please know that there are tons of us out here who understand, who've been in (or are) in the same boat, and who are listening to you... I m/c'ed at exactly 12 weeks in August, no d&c or ER or anything. If you want to let it happen naturally, then I'd say do it that way, it will happen on its own. Mine personally wasn't bad at all, physically.


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## Pinkdilla (Dec 5, 2007)

I'm so sorry for your loss, get as much rest, don't lift heavy stuff and paper plates help when you have little ones at home! I was totally saved when I let my ladies of Faith friends know about my miscarriage and D&C, they brought food for the family so I could rest and even helped clean in my kitchen!


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## heatherweh (Nov 29, 2007)

I found out 1 week ago (Tuesday) at 9 weeks pg that my baby had stopped developing at 6 weeks. I miscarried naturally on Friday. I'll get another u/s to make sure everything has cleared out OK once I stop bleeding. There are a number of herbs and medicines that can help things progress "naturally". My friend's midwife recommended taking lots of vitamin c to help speed things and Emergen-C seemed to work for me. I cried and was sad but have a toddler to deal with, so until DH got home and held me I wasn't able to really let go. I cried and sobbed and then took a hot bath and it helped immensely. Sometimes the human touch is needed to help one release, conversely I couldn't let anyone else hug me for fear of melting down in their arms, awkward at a chance encounter right? I wish i was there to give you a hug right now and if anything I have learned that I can not be reticent to express my condolences or caring when someone is in pain or grief.


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## momoftworedheads (Mar 6, 2003)

I am so sorry mama.







s

When you are ready, come over the the Hope and Healing thread. The mamas over there all post a lot and will give you all the love ans support you need at this time.

Please take care.


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## Jasmyn's Mum (May 24, 2004)

((((((((((((((Punkrawkmama27))))))))))))))


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## geogeek (Apr 16, 2007)

I'm so sorry. I had the same thing happen to me. My husband, DD, and I were at the hospital for genetic testing that included an ultrasound. I was 12 weeks. The baby didn't have a heartbeat and was measuring 9 weeks. I went in for a D&C the next week. My 2.5 yo DD is very clingy and we don't have any family around so I just couldn't imagine going through the miscarriage and taking care of her. And I couldn't take waiting around and not knowing when it would happen. The D&C really wasn't that bad.
The worst part is that we had just started telling people that we were pregnant. It has been a month now so I'm finally to the point that I can tell people about it without crying.


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## punkrawkmama27 (Aug 31, 2007)

I just wanted to thank everyone who replied to my post with kind words and helpful advice. I have been on some of the other suggested boards and looked through the posts and they have helped me in what to expect next. I also want to














all of you who have been through this. You are all in my thoughts and prayers.


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## Turquesa (May 30, 2007)

Is there room for one more







? Poor mama. I've been there!


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## Girlo (Oct 14, 2004)

I've been through this six times.







I'm so sorry.......

3 of my 6 were early (about 6 weeks or earlier) and 3 were later first-tri losses.
My first late one, I found out at 11w5d that my baby had passed at 8w; I had a D&C at 12w1d.
The second one, I found out at 10w1d that my baby had passed at 9w; I had a natural m/c at home (with the help of herbs) at 10w3d.
This last one happened about 2 weeks ago. I found out at 9w5d that my baby had passed at 8w; I had another natural m/c at home (without herbs) at 13w0d.

This last one was the hardest. I wasn't expecting it to take 3 weeks to pass and had all sorts of thoughts running through my mind that perhaps the u/s was wrong. It wasn't. I also thought about keeping the tissue to have it analyzed.....but finally decided that it really didn't matter to me what the problem was and I buried my baby in my fav spot on our property.









The best part here is knowing that you're not alone and hope lives.







Hang in there and know that love abounds......


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