# "Wait, DON'T PUSH!"



## Halfasianmomma (Nov 1, 2007)

When do you, or when have you heard this admonition and simply ignored it? I'm wondering about the dangers or the consequences of holding the baby in while some doctor fetches his gloves or while some nurse runs down the hall to find some doctor...Seeing as this will be my first birth, I'd really like to listen to my body and go with what happens, instead of being a good little patient and waiting to perform when everyone is ready.

How do you/did you politely say "too bad, I'm pushing cause I have to"?


----------



## N8'sMom (Jun 25, 2007)

I hear of doctors saying this all the time. I want to know
how in the world someone expects you to hold that baby in?
I would just say, "suck it up doc or nurse...this kid is coming out
whether you like it or not."


----------



## angelpie545 (Feb 23, 2005)

Holding a baby in can be very dangerous for both mother and child. It can cause injury to the mother, and it can deprive the baby of oxygen and cause possible brain damage and death (babies have died this way years ago when they used to tie a mother's legs shut to keep the baby in). It would be well best to just ignore it when they tell you to stop pushing, no matter how freaked out they and you may be.


----------



## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Step one: Make sure the baby'll come out onto something (the bed, the floor, your hands)
Step two: Get baby out.
Step three: Laugh at the doctor and tell him/her that "don't push!" was an idiotic thing to say and they need to learn not to say it.


----------



## DoomaYula (Aug 22, 2006)

With my twins, as soon as my water broke (about 8h into labor) I felt the urge to push. I was *supposed to* give birth in an OR ("just in case") so the nurses wheeled me down to an OR, shrieking at me not to push the whole time. riiiiiiiiight. I clearly remember feeling that the babies were coming out of me, whether I pushed or not! I'd like to know how you can NOT push, when you're having that urge!


----------



## rmzbm (Jul 8, 2005)

What would *I* do? Push anyway. My body.


----------



## GooeyRN (Apr 24, 2006)

I don't think I would have been able to not push. My body pushed on its own.


----------



## Halfasianmomma (Nov 1, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
Step one: Make sure the baby'll come out onto something (the bed, the floor, your hands)
Step two: Get baby out.
Step three: Laugh at the doctor and tell him/her that "don't push!" was an idiotic thing to say and they need to learn not to say it.
















:

Noted for future reference


----------



## dogmom327 (Apr 19, 2007)

I'm quite certain I would be very bad and say something that starts with an "F" and is followed by "you"







Then I'd push my heart out and catch my own baby.


----------



## sunnymw (Feb 28, 2007)

NOT pushing was the most painful experience of my life. Ugh. The doctor was apparently making mad passionate love to a nurse in a broom closet... they couldn't find him.


----------



## Smokering (Sep 5, 2007)

Quote:

(babies have died this way years ago when they used to tie a mother's legs shut to keep the baby in).
They did WHAT? Oh man, that makes me sad.


----------



## user_name (Jun 8, 2005)

It's not like I had a choice -- like some PPs said, my body just takes over & if the baby's coming out, the baby's coming out!

And can you believe some deranged nurse actually tried to hold in my daughter because the OB wasn't there yet?! Truly a moment of "Mama Lioness" coming out in me: my husband did nothing (didn't plan on him exactly changing in that regard, though), and the nurse ignored my yelling to get away from me. As I was in a hands-and-knees position, and being completely ignored, I just began *violently kicking* in her general direction. She got the picture & so did everyone else there -- from that point on they really didn't mess with me or question anything we did (or didn't do, for that matter). Sad that I had to resort to violence, though...

Hopefully you have some care providers you trust & you won't have that problem!


----------



## rmzbm (Jul 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *user_name* 
It's not like I had a choice -- like some PPs said, my body just takes over & if the baby's coming out, the baby's coming out!

And can you believe some deranged nurse actually tried to hold in my daughter because the OB wasn't there yet?! Truly a moment of "Mama Lioness" coming out in me: my husband did nothing (didn't plan on him exactly changing in that regard, though), and the nurse ignored my yelling to get away from me. As I was in a hands-and-knees position, and being completely ignored, I just began *violently kicking* in her general direction. She got the picture & so did everyone else there -- from that point on they really didn't mess with me or question anything we did (or didn't do, for that matter). Sad that I had to resort to violence, though...

Hopefully you have some care providers you trust & you won't have that problem!











That just gave me a flashback to a nurse who tried to undress me as I wasn't "hurrying" enough & they had to check me "now."

Let's just say she'll NEVER do that again.


----------



## Kappa (Oct 15, 2007)

This happened to my Mom when she was having me. They told her to not push and wait for the doc, the nurse sucked it up though and just delivered me I don't think there was anything stupid like the nurse trying to push me back in. I'm alive and fine, delivered in a hospital with NO DOCTOR PRESENT. Oh the humanity...


----------



## Halfasianmomma (Nov 1, 2007)

My MIL is a L&D nurse, and she tells me that a woman was brought in by a paramedic who had her sit up straight in the front seat of the ambulance, the reasoning being that if she was sitting up, the baby couldn't come out and she'd have to wait until they got to the hospital "for a doctor to do it properly".


----------



## Viriditas (Aug 30, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GooeyRN* 
I don't think I would have been able to not push. My body pushed on its own.









:


----------



## mama_ani (Aug 2, 2007)

The only time I ever swore in labour was with my fourth child and the nurse told me not to push "the doctor isn't here yet!!" My response "*** the doctor, the baby is coming now!!"









Ironically with baby #2 the doctor was at HOME and the nurse & my mom caught dd & neither of them told me not to push.


----------



## artgoddess (Jun 29, 2004)

I had my DS in a hospital and the OB was not there when I was ready to push. Long story, not at all his fault, the OB on call was not allowed near me, so another OB was called in on his day off, who came in without complaint. Anyway the nurse took one look at me and my progress and said, "Art you had better slow down or *I'M* going to wind up catching this baby." to which I replied, "I'm okay with that." And so she did. The OB walked in the door just as his body was emerging. He did sort of a double take and grabbed some gloves very quickly, we have it on video, it's pretty funny when you see it now. I guess I can be thankful that no one told me not to push in a hospital.







But typing a sentence that says I'm grateful they "allowed" me to do what my body needed to do naturally sounds just so wrong to me. I shouldn't have to think I'm lucky they "let" me labor for 34 hours with no mention of c/s either.


----------



## 4 in 2005 (May 22, 2004)

I didn't push when the Dr wasn't there because I did not want the freaking out nurse to catch my baby. However she was still coming. I was panting to avoid pushing and she was still coming out. It hurt like HECK and I had the burning pain I have had when I tore. The OB said that was proably why I tore because of the prolonged pressure DD put on me.

I will NEVER do that again. I would say get ready cause baby is coming NOW!

It was funny, they were giving us the play by play of where the OB was. She didn't have time to get ready, she just washed her hands and put on gloves. She lost her keys throwing them on the window sill. She even told me the next day she told the nurses when they called and said I was ready to get her no matter what she was doing. She walked out on some woman's pap smear and still almost didn't make it. LOL!

Jennifer


----------



## DBZ (Aug 9, 2005)

I was asked to not push, but I think it was so the OB could manipulate the shoulder and I didn't listen. My DD had a limp arm for a few days. In my birth plan I am asking that if the midwife doesn't want me to push to say why so I understand. Some reasons not to push are important.

ETA - A doc not being present is not a valid reason to tell a mom not to push. I don't see how the body could handle doing that. I'd be very happy to have a hospital UC


----------



## Jane (May 15, 2002)

They really need to say what they mean, which is usually, "Please hold on long enough to let me get my gloves on!"


----------



## momoftworedheads (Mar 6, 2003)

First of all, your body will push the baby out on its own. Even if a Dr/MW/nurse tells you not to push, it's not like that urge goes away! With my 3rd son, I told the MW I have to push and out my son came. She was not ready at all. Thank goodness I planned on catching him myself.

I cannot believe how Drs, etc expect a woman not to listen to her own bosy's signals. Crazy!

Take care!


----------



## DanelleB (Jan 4, 2008)

Telling a laboring woman not to push is like telling someone not to sneeze. It just can't be helped. The Dr almost didn't make it when DS was born because he was in surgery--the ped took one look and said "This baby isn't waiting!" What made me laugh was him "thanking" me for waiting for him. HA! I wasn't waiting for anyone, you just lucky, buddy.


----------



## nccrunchymama (Dec 9, 2007)

Like a pp mentioned, if there's a good reason not to push, they should say so and by all means wait. But if it's just for staff convenience... just yell CATCH!!! My problem was opposite. After I pushed a while, I needed to rest through a contraction. I was so irritated with the nurse who kept yelling PUSH. I told her to shut up and I took my break. Baby came soon after.

My suggestion: just listen to your body. It knows what to do.


----------



## suearoo22 (May 4, 2004)

This happened with my youngest DD, I had a very fast labor less then an hour and she told me to wait the dr was coming. I told her I did not care who caught the baby and she better get someone else in there if she was not OK with it. A resident came running in and lifted the baby off the bed, oh gee thanks I could have done that LOL! The dr made it 10 minutes later and could not believe I did not wait, yeah like he ever had to wait to give birth jerk.


----------



## N8'sMom (Jun 25, 2007)

Do they tell you to wait on the doctor because he or she can't get
paid unless they actually are the ones to deliver the baby??


----------



## Jane (May 15, 2002)

I don't think it matters really. If the person delivers before reaching the hospital, then the person who delivers the placenta can be the person paid for the delivery. But if you're in house, it's still under the supervision of the doc.


----------



## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Thing is, if they meant "don't push on purpose" that'd be almost okay since ideally your body's doing the pushing anyway. What's the line "wait to push until you can't not push"?

But I suspect that the same person who says "don't push" because their end of things isn't ready is the one who'd be shouting "push, come on, push" just because there's 10 cm of dilation if they did have their gloves and such.


----------



## myllissa (Sep 4, 2007)

The OB told me the same thing. HA! Like I had ANY control over that urge. It was the strongest urge I have ever had in my life and I had no say in the matter. My body was taking over no matter what the doctor said.


----------



## Vancouver Mommy (Aug 15, 2007)

In most situations it is best to stop pushing as the baby crowns to give the perineum time to stretch slowly and not tear. Is that what you're referring to? If not I agree with the pp that if your body is telling you to push, you're probably ready.


----------



## Sexybookworm (Feb 5, 2008)

I think this is different, but, I know when I was having my first baby and I was almost done pushing her out the doctor said stop pushing and I tried and said "I can't." I think this was when she was almost out. I remember seeing a drug-free birthing video where the mom did the same thing. Why do they ask you to stop pushing at the end? I was afraid I was going to hurt my baby or myself because she seemed serious.


----------



## Sexybookworm (Feb 5, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Vancouver Mommy* 
In most situations it is best to stop pushing as the baby crowns to give the perineum time to stretch slowly and not tear. Is that what you're referring to? If not I agree with the pp that if your body is telling you to push, you're probably ready.

Is it necessary to stop pushing to do that? Couldn't they just ask you to push less hard or slower? I think that might be what my doctor was doing but I couldn't stop. I didn't tear though.


----------



## Vancouver Mommy (Aug 15, 2007)

I think your body will continue to push on its own - there's nothing you can do about that. The idea is that it is best to let the shoulders ease out as slowly as possible as the perineum is stretched paper thin by this point and over zealous pushing can cause big tears.


----------



## Lizzardbits (Jan 21, 2006)

nak.

when i had my first, there was heavy meconium staining, so the doc wanted to do suctioning when his head was born, and was told not to push. in retrospect, i shouldn't have allowed the suctioning, but hind sight is 20/20.

my second the l&d nurse caught her because there was no stopping the frieght train that is pushing. there was a doc visiting with his patient next door, and he didn't even have time to come running. my family doc showed up for the placenta--lucky her, hahaha. there was just.no.way.that i couldn't "not" push. like trying to stop puking mid puke, my body just took over.

my newest little one, i had one "warning" push so i could yell out that i was pushing for Hubby and midwife to assume the position (i was standing, bent over the bed) 2nd push his head was out and 3rd he was born. again there was no stopping the frieght train that is pushing. not pushing was not an option for me.


----------



## justmama (Dec 24, 2002)

I heard this with my second child as I went from 5cm to 10cm and had her out in less than 45minutes. My husband nearly had to catch her. The nurse who he found in the hallway and begged to come in to the room took one look at me and ran screaming down the hallway for doctors and someone to page the nicu team(34 weeker). I'm sorry but there was no way on god's green earth I could have held her back. She was ready, she wanted out. That baby was coming. The doctor didn't have time to wash his hands. He caught her with one glove and ruined his nice new shirt.







Our nurse never did make it back for the birth. She walked in to check me and found about 20 people in my room and a crying baby being taken to the nicu. Freaked her out a little I think!


----------



## MKury (May 14, 2007)

My mw *asked* me not to push *if possible* b/c baby was asynclitic (sp?) with a compound presentation (hand at mouth) and I had developed a cervical lip. MW was concerned that if I pushed too hard, the cervix would swell and it would be a while bf baby would come. So, we resolved the compound presentation when I got on all fours and flopped down hard on my left side (hand went down), and then I did a "rotissere" where I blew (doing the "horsey blow") through 2 ctx on my right side, all fours, left side, and back. The cervical lip resolved itself, the baby came down in about 5 pushes, and then she was born. She did have a smushed nose for a couple of weeks bc her head was turned coming down, but that fixed itself, too. I'm so glad that mw advised me not to push- I would have hated to have messed up my cervix or prolonged labor! And she never told me not to... she asked me to try not to if I could, but if I couldn't help it to do what my body was making me do...


----------



## s_kristina (Aug 9, 2004)

I caught something on one of those baby shows the other day when an OB was saying he liked when women have an epidural as they can stop pushing which makes things easier for him







: Another good reason to not watch those things!

When I was having ds there was no way to stop pushing when it was time. I told my mw I couldn't stop pushing and her reply was something along the lines of "then push." She did later ask if I thought I could sit back some from a squat to slow things down as she knew I was worried about tearing badly again. If I hadn't been able to sit back that would have been fine with her too, but at least when she wanted me to do something she asked nicely instead of telling me what to do.


----------



## caedmyn (Jan 13, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *angelpie545* 
Holding a baby in can be very dangerous for both mother and child. It can cause injury to the mother, and it can deprive the baby of oxygen and cause possible brain damage and death (babies have died this way years ago when they used to tie a mother's legs shut to keep the baby in). It would be well best to just ignore it when they tell you to stop pushing, no matter how freaked out they and you may be.

There's a big difference between not pushing when you feel like pushing, and actively doing something to hold the baby back. Not pushing when you feel like pushing isn't going to harm the baby--your body will push it out anyway with or without your active help.


----------



## thixle (Sep 26, 2007)

So why do do they say don't push once the head is out???
I had already been given a 3rd degree episiotomy, so I KNOW no one cared about tearing. I didn't push, my body did- it wasn't concious at all, but I still got yelled at "Don't PUSH!"


----------



## starshine1001 (Feb 16, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thixle* 
So why do do they say don't push once the head is out???
I had already been given a 3rd degree episiotomy, so I KNOW no one cared about tearing. I didn't push, my body did- it wasn't concious at all, but I still got yelled at "Don't PUSH!"

They like to have the chance to check for cord around baby's neck before the rest of him comes out, as well as suctioning his mouth before he takes his first breath. As for me and not pushing...they told me not to after my 1st son's head was out because the cord was around his neck x 3...after they unwrapped it, I was free to push. That was a first birth, natural, in a hospital, with pitocin and an episiotomy. He was 8 lbs 6 oz and I had a 3rd degree tear (I tore past the episiotomy), and was born after 45 minutes of pushing. My second son was a natural birthing home waterbirth. No guided pushing, I just pushed when the time was right for me. I didn't WANT to push even though I was really feeling the urge, since the tub wasn't filled yet and I really wanted a waterbirth. But the best I could do was vocalize as LOUD as I could so I wouldn't hold my breath and bear down. My body was still pushing, I was just trying not to help it any! Hahaha! Well, it bought me a little time, but as soon as I was in the water, 3 pushes and he was out. Oh, and just for the record, he was over 10 lbs, and I only had a 1st degree tear.


----------



## erin_brycesmom (Nov 5, 2005)

I have noticed that most of the worst tears I have heard about come from women who were told not to push for whatever reason. I do believe that trying to hold back pushing puts you at greater risk for tears/severe tears. I'm thinking it is because once you finally get the ok or you finally can't hold it back any longer, the baby just comes out with too much force, an unnatural force.


----------



## UrbanCrunchyMama (Aug 7, 2007)

I COMPLETELY over-estimated the pain of labor. So much so that I was ready to push (after 4 1/2 hours of labor) in our bathroom at home. But being the "responsible" mother following through with a planned hospital birth, we got in the car and went to the hospital.

When we got there, everyone told me not to push, which was absolute torture. I held our DD inside, actively fighting the urge to push for an entire hour (between travel time to the hospital and being given the permission to push). I'd have to say keeping her inside and not pushing was the most difficult part of the birth process.

Based on the replies I've read above about possible complications to mother and baby, I'm grateful that we came out OK.

Lydia


----------



## CalebsMama05 (Nov 26, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GooeyRN* 
I don't think I would have been able to not push. My body pushed on its own.

yep I didn't do anything...


----------



## CalebsMama05 (Nov 26, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *erin_brycesmom* 
I have noticed that most of the worst tears I have heard about come from women who were told not to push for whatever reason. I do believe that trying to hold back pushing puts you at greater risk for tears/severe tears. I'm thinking it is because once you finally get the ok or you finally can't hold it back any longer, the baby just comes out with too much force, an unnatural force.

I believe this as well...I did *try* to not push ds2 but he was almost out...by the time I got *permission* he just exploded out of me tearing my episiotomy scar.


----------



## suearoo22 (May 4, 2004)

Hmm I always wondered who got paid for that birth maybe that is why they were yelling for me to wait. Ah the guy was a jerk if he did not get paid I am not too sad about it.


----------



## yarngoddess (Dec 27, 2006)

With my second she was out in 1 contraction, our midwife only had 1 glove- she wanted to "see how I pushed" Haha! She was a fill in- and at the start of my induction "bet that i'd be a c-sec" no kidding. Baby #3 got stuck, and the nurse didn't know enough to go get the doc, I kicked her- litterally and got my doc, he moved her head and she too was out in 1 contraction. My 4th was a hospital UC. The nurse tried the "you aren't pushing are you? DON"T PUSH!!!" he was already on the bed! lol! I still laugh.


----------



## honeybee (Mar 12, 2004)

With my first, they laid me on my back so things would slow down, I would get all the antbx and so my doc could get there. I did not want the sleep-deprived resident delivering my baby, so I didn't argue. Nobody told me not to push, though. My body was still pushing, without any help from me. I didn't try to hold anything back. When my doc got there (fairly quickly, she was already on her way), they waited another 10 minutes for the antbx. Then they sat me up and "told me" I could push. My doc did ask me if I wanted to change position, but at that point I was too tired to make the decision to move. So, I ended up in stirrups. I never did anything, really, my body was doing it all on its own. Ds1's head shot out of me, and then the doc said "Don't push!" I think because of shoulder positioning. At that point I had no control, and he came out in one big swoosh anyways. I had a 3rd degree tear that was bad enough for my family doc to call in an OB to stitch up.

What makes me really mad at myself is I said "sorry!" because I didn't follow the doc's direction and my body pushed the baby out anyways. Why the heck was I the one apologizing?

Anyway, I wish I had been able to stop pushing once his head was out to avoid the tear made by his shoulder... but if I hadn't been on my back through all those strong pushing contractions, my body probably wouldn't have blasted him out that way. Ds2's birth was even faster than ds1's, but I was at home, never once got into a bed, and was on all 4s in my bathroom. I barely managed to get my sweat pants off in time! His head was born in a few quick uncontrollable pushes, but then my body paused on its own to rest a moment before the rest of him came out (which gave my just-arriving mw time to get into position, lol!). I had only a small tear that didn't require stitching.


----------



## gcgirl (Apr 3, 2007)

If the baby was on its way out and someone said this to me, they'd get a kick in the face. I don't think I'd be able to control THAT urge.


----------



## ColwynsMommy (Aug 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *erin_brycesmom* 
I have noticed that most of the worst tears I have heard about come from women who were told not to push for whatever reason. I do believe that trying to hold back pushing puts you at greater risk for tears/severe tears. I'm thinking it is because once you finally get the ok or you finally can't hold it back any longer, the baby just comes out with too much force, an unnatural force.


In my experience, I tore the least (just a tiny papercut) when they were actually holding his head in while he was crowning. There was meconium in the water and the NICU team wasn't there yet, and boy was I hollering to try to avoid pushing. Personally, I think that being forced to give the baby more time at the crowning stage allowed me to stretch more. Once they said okay he came out pretty quick.

With my first, I had a precipitous delivery as well.. the OB wasn't able to get gloves on and my husband said the baby flew out so fast that he rolled across the bed. I had first degree tears up and down, but not too bad.

I'm actually going to talk to my midwife about this because the babies came out super fast both times, and I'm wondering about her ideas re: my position when pushing. I've never had any problems pushing while in bed, where the idea of pushing while squatting kind of scares me.. I don't want the baby to come any faster.









Oh, and about the previous post mentioning an OB saying he likes epidurals because women can stop pushing.. hah. I had an epidural with both boys and while I didn't feel any pain while pushing, the urge to push was tremendous. I couldn't stop at all with my first, and with my second, if the nurses' hands hadn't been there, he would've come right out. I also had a premature urge to push with both boys, too. I've always said I had the perfect epidural.. no side effects, perfect pain relief, helped me dilate MUCH faster than pre-epidural, and didn't hinder pushing at all. Too bad they're not all like that.


----------



## *MamaJen* (Apr 24, 2007)

This whole thread makes me really feel kind of sad. The urge to push is so instinctive and spontaneous, I didn't even realize I was pushing until the midwife told me I was doing a good job of it. I don't think I could have stopped. The idea of a women in active labor being told not to push--that's just cruel.


----------



## bjorker (Jul 25, 2005)

This happened to me. It was only supposed to be a "practise push" because they didn't think it was quite time for the real deal yet. I thought differently, and I was right, when "practise push" ended up rearing the top of a baby's head. Oops. I was right, neiner neiner.







Oh wait. _Of course_ I was right.
The nurse frantically yelled at me to stop while she ran out of the room to fetch the doc.

One of the many reasons that I wouldn't birth again in a hospital unless I had a really, _really_ good reason to be there.

Oh yeah, and because a possibly corrolation to tearing was mentioned-- I didn't have a terrible one, but it was pretty bad. 2nd degree, I think? Although I didn't really try to hold in the pushing despite what I was told, so it's probably circumstantial. To be honest it's all a little fuzzy already, but I know I didn't make an effort to hold it in, I think I was just a little alarmed at the time that my baby's head was trying to come out and suddenly there was a little bit o chaos goin' on.


----------



## momileigh (Oct 29, 2002)

Breech birth is another time when it may be important not to push. I think a lot of it comes down to trusting your healthcare provider. If you think (probably rightfully so) that these people are kinda idiotic about natural birth, I can see why you'd ignore their advice or at least seriously question it. But if you really trust that the person has the best in mind for you and your baby and is properly trained in natural birth, and they ask you not to push (and if there's time, it would be GREAT if they could explain exactly why, but sometimes a condition arises at the last second where explanations have to wait), if they are smart they aren't asking you to stop the involuntary pushing you body is doing. They are just asking you to stop voluntarily speeding the pushing. This is done by blowing air out of your mouth instead of bearing down. It is very difficult when your urge is overwhelming, but in some cases it may be very important as well. In the case of breech birth, it can be the baby's life that is at risk if you push too soon, urge or not.


----------



## gcgirl (Apr 3, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **MamaJen** 
This whole thread makes me really feel kind of sad. The urge to push is so instinctive and spontaneous, I didn't even realize I was pushing until the midwife told me I was doing a good job of it. I don't think I could have stopped. The idea of a women in active labor being told not to push--that's just cruel.

Yeah, but what if you have an insane urge to push but are only dilated to 4 cm? That happened to me. If I had let "nature" take its course and not tried to hold back, I could have ended up with a c-section due to swollen cervix. My poor doula; I could hear in her voice that she felt so bad for me having to hold back. It was not fun.


----------



## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gcgirl* 
Yeah, but what if you have an insane urge to push but are only dilated to 4 cm? That happened to me. If I had let "nature" take its course and not tried to hold back, I could have ended up with a c-section due to swollen cervix. My poor doula; I could hear in her voice that she felt so bad for me having to hold back. It was not fun.

You had an urge to push or your body was pushing without you? There's a huge difference. Urges to push as the baby enters the birth canal are normal and gently doing so helps shape the head.

If your body was pushing without your control, that would've been a sign that something was seriously wrong. You also wouldn't have been able to hold that back.


----------



## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

One of the major problems with commands like "don't push" and such are the way they'd activate the, cortex?, the bit of the brain that handles conscious thought.


----------



## ed_tricia (Feb 12, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nccrunchymama* 
Like a pp mentioned, if there's a good reason not to push, they should say so and by all means wait. But if it's just for staff convenience... just yell CATCH!!! My problem was opposite. After I pushed a while, I needed to rest through a contraction. I was so irritated with the nurse who kept yelling PUSH. I told her to shut up and I took my break. Baby came soon after.

My suggestion: just listen to your body. It knows what to do.

I was told not to push b/c I wasn't fully dilated yet. I actually never did and had stalled for over 2 hours at 9cm. My dr. and the nurses were good though b/c they let me decide when to stop and go w/ pushing. Towards the end they told me I could rest and I was like no way, I'm getting this baby out, so I would just do non-stop pushes 3 or 4 in a row. I agree w/ those that said the doc/nurse needs to tell if there is a good reason not to push. Definitely find a doc you trust and you should be fine!


----------



## pixiepunk (Mar 11, 2003)

well, i guess i wasn't "told" not to push, but baby's head started to come out while i was squatting in my bathroom (a homebirth) and it was a teeny weeny bathroom where neither my m/w nor i particularly wanted to be when the baby come out. it was kind of a surprise because his head had been stuck, i was in the bathroom trying to rock my hips to get him into position, and as soon as he popped into place, he started to crown. so DH and the m/w carried me 3 feet into the bedroom so i could push him out. it was much more comfortable for me, and while i didn't enjoy not pushing for the time it took to get me in there, i was grateful to not have to give birth in that cramped little bathroom, or have to move into the bedroom immediately after he came out. i didn't tear.

but i guess it was a little different as it wasn't an "order" or a "demand" just a suggestion that i'd be more comfortable, and i tended to agree.


----------



## gcgirl (Apr 3, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
You had an urge to push or your body was pushing without you? There's a huge difference. Urges to push as the baby enters the birth canal are normal and gently doing so helps shape the head.

If your body was pushing without your control, that would've been a sign that something was seriously wrong. You also wouldn't have been able to hold that back.

It was the latter - body pushing without me. What does that mean is wrong? Tell me, tell me. It was pitocin induced.







That right there is wrong, but hey. And yeah, I couldn't completely control it, but I was able to hold it back about half the time. I would not like to repeat that experience tho.


----------



## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gcgirl* 
It was the latter - body pushing without me. What does that mean is wrong? Tell me, tell me. It was pitocin induced.







That right there is wrong, but hey. And yeah, I couldn't completely control it, but I was able to hold it back about half the time. I would not like to repeat that experience tho.

Sorry, I should have said that it would be very unusual since I don't actually know what it would be a symptom of. Maybe a badly positioned baby and then the pitocin made the baby move down so quickly the cervix didn't have time to respond to the new pressures?

Ideally, you'd only get that "throwing down" (like throwing up, only for getting babies out) feeling when as dilated as it needs to be (9.99cm, 11.2cm, whatever's right).

Mind you, there are those stories out there of women going from 2cm to baby out with no problems in like 3 contractions, so maybe your cervix would've slipped right out of the way.


----------



## so_blessed (Dec 24, 2007)

The only times I was instructed not to push was when the perineum was stretching and the CNM was trying to help me not tear. She instructed me not to push (which I was ready for). It burned a little while the perineum stretched, but it only lasted through one contraction. So far, my births have been unmedicated, so I was able to feel what was happening, and understand what she was doing.

With babe #2, my CNM (a different one) did not tell me not to push in order to allow my perineum to stretch. I have fast births, and I "blasted the baby out," resulting in a small tear. My babies have been almost 9 lbs. from a small frame, so I credit the breathing through the contractions with no tears on #3 and #4.

I would never, however, not push just for someone else's convenience. When you feel the urge, I don't even see how you cannot push for any amount of time unless they medicate you. It is an irresistible urge! It feels so good to push!


----------



## starshine1001 (Feb 16, 2008)

You know, I never knew how far dilated I was with this last baby. I had stalled at 9 for hours, then at a rim for hours, so I was rocking and swaying and my midwife was gently pulling my tummy up and in with a rebozo (thinking the baby might have been leaning forward rather than back, inhibiting progress) for the LONGEST time. Finally we decided that I should get up and use the potty for a while, then get back into the tub (I had been sitting on the edge of the bed, trying to let gravity help. But the second that I stood up, my body just started pushing. I think all of the moving around helped, then as soon as I stood up, he dropped into place. I tried not to help my body push so we'd have time to get the tub filled with water. I breathed thru 2-3 contractions, then as soon as the water was deep enough, one contraction made him crown, the next popped out the head, and the next he was born. Very fast as compared to 45 min. of guided pushing with my first. I'm looking forward to my next pregnancy/L&D!!!


----------



## dctexan (Oct 18, 2006)

I was told not to push because my midwife was delivering another baby. Um, yeah, not really my problem. I just ignored the nurse. I told her "we can handle this, it will be okay" and pushed away. The nurse ended up delivering the baby. My midwife was slightly irritated. After 3 days of labor, she felt like she had earned the right to be there for the actual birth (of course she also acknowledged that it was the first time in 3 days that my body had actually cooperated with me so she knew she couldn't be THAT upset).


----------



## huggerwocky (Jun 21, 2004)

if you really have the fetal ejection reflex it doesn't matter what they say, you will push if you want or not. And you probably won't have the breath to say anything, so too bad


----------



## Greenmama2AJ (Jan 10, 2008)

I totally agree - If you really need to push - your body will push. You dont need a nurse to tell you, you cant stop it.

However, if your midwife does tell you not to push there could be some reason for it.
My DS's shoulder was stuck. I received a 3rd degree tear and was told not to push as they turned him for me. I'd hate to think of the tear i would have had otherwise


----------



## elanorh (Feb 1, 2006)

My sister was told not to push. She felt the urge, her body was trying to push and she was told not to because the doctor wasn't there yet. I think she waited half an hour at 10cm + with a push urge? Her baby was born in distress and inhaled meconium and developed pneumonia as a result; I think babe was kept in the hospital for 4-5 days after birth. And had latch problems.

My sister is the sort of very determined person who would've stuck it out though, and she is careful to always do what authority tells her is 'right.'

I was shocked. And obviously, I suspect that 'waiting for the doctor' may have contributed to some of her dd's issues as a newborn.

Nothing could have made me stop pushing - my body just took over, they didn't have to tell me it was 'time' to push at all. We were in the process of doing pelvic tilts with a posterior babe (#1) and -- BAM -- it was time to push. Likewise with SJ - labor progressed along (fast) and then I just knew it was time to push.

ETA:
I think that there's a big difference between pushing and controlled pushing (as in when there is shoulder distocia or something which requires the Mom to modify how she pushes). With #1, the OB had me push more slowly than with #2 - I think mostly to decrease the risk of tears. He would ask me to push a little more gently or slowly at times.


----------



## wulfbourne (Oct 23, 2007)

I'm one of the ones who should have listened when the midwife said don't push. I had an epidural so I couldn't feel much. All I knew was I was tired and wanted the baby out so I pushed anyway and I ended up with a second degree tear. Turns out she was trying to get me not to push so my perineum would stretch. Next time I'm planning on an undedicated birth so maybe I'll feel the difference and listen.


----------



## Paigekitten (Feb 22, 2008)

Haha, I had it the other way around. I had NO urge to push, and my midwife kept saying it was time to push!


----------



## katheek77 (Mar 13, 2007)

I was in transition for ever, it seemed...My labor was only 8 hours long, but transition was about six hours of that (I was 6-7cm when I got to the hospital). The nurse told me to push, I pushed once. She told me to push again, baby crowned, she told me NOT TO PUSH - I was pushing "too quickly" and the doc wasn't there. HUH???

Um. Right.

DD was born on the next push. I guess they thought I'd take forever to push since transition was so long.


----------



## desertpenguin (Apr 15, 2005)

how common are swollen cervices from premature pushing, espescially when the mother has the urge to push? with my hospital birth, i had AROM at 7 cm and as soon as the OB popped my water, i felt like i had to push very badly. i got back up on my knees and was pushing to some extent for the next hour until i was completely dilated. i wish i hadn't allowed the OB to do that though because my son ended up with two hematomas on his head as a result of me pushing for that hour prior to complete dilation. i don't think i would have had a premature urge to push if it hadn't been for the AROM.


----------



## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Paigekitten* 
Haha, I had it the other way around. I had NO urge to push, and my midwife kept saying it was time to push!

That's the usual way around.


----------



## camille76 (Apr 9, 2005)

Yes, the urge to push is very strong when it's "time"... but it IS possible to wait and not push. Not for a long period of time, but it's certainly doable. Having the doctor there to guide the baby out has definite benefits.

I'd say it's particularly important to listen to your doctor when you've already started pushing & then he says to not push because he could be making sure you don't tear or he might need to remove the cord from around the baby's neck before you push again.

My doctor told me I had major control this last time I delivered. I just listened to when he said to push, not to push, little push, big push, etc... and I didn't tear at all with this 9lb baby!! No hemorrhoids either!


----------



## MyBoysBlue (Apr 27, 2007)

With DS 1 I arrived at the hospital almost 10 cm dilated. I felt the urge to push not long after and of course the doctor wasn't there yet. The nurses told me not to push and I tried not too during one contraction and that was the worse. Trying to fight myself. I only did it for the one contraction and the doc walked in all calm and told the nurses let her push.

With DS 2 he was a UC so I did what I wanted and I was sitting on the toilet when I felt the first urge to push and went with it figuring he wouldn't come out on the first push. I stood up and went to the birth nest we had set up outside the bathroom. After the first urge,his head was already crowning as I waddled out of the bathroom. He came out completely on the third urge to push.


----------



## erin_brycesmom (Nov 5, 2005)

Quote:

Having the doctor there to guide the baby out has definite benefits.

I'd say it's particularly important to listen to your doctor when you've already started pushing & then he says to not push because he could be making sure you don't tear or he might need to remove the cord from around the baby's neck before you push again.
Have you considered that a mother's own instincts can show her to push out her baby even better than a *man* whom she is not even close with and has never gone through it himself? I just wanted to offer that as food for thought. Women are very wise and strong and I would suggest that we know how to push our babies out better than any man on the outside. Also, babies can still be born with the cord around the neck. A woman can remove it herself or she can just push her baby out with the cord still around the neck.

Quote:

My doctor told me I had major control this last time I delivered. I just listened to when he said to push, not to push, little push, big push, etc... and I didn't tear at all with this 9lb baby!! No hemorrhoids either!
Have you considered that listening to your own body will tell you when to push and when not to as well (and perhaps better)? Check out this article written by a MW here on MDC - http://www.midwiferytoday.com/articles/honoring.asp

*"Just as a woman's heart knows how and when to pump, her lungs to inhale, and her hand to pull back from fire, so she knows when and how to give birth."* ~Virginia Di Orio


----------



## selena_ski (Jun 16, 2006)

" Also, babies can still be born with the cord around the neck. A woman can remove it herself or she can just push her baby out with the cord still around the neck."

My mw told me to wait and not push because my baby had a cord around her neck, i didn't even push, but she slid out. we then just unwrapped cord (3x btw) so even with a cord around the neck she was still delivered.


----------



## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *erin_brycesmom* 
Have you considered that listening to your own body will tell you when to push and when not to as well (and perhaps better)? Check out this article written by a MW here on MDC - http://www.midwiferytoday.com/articles/honoring.asp









Bookmarked, thank you!


----------



## copslass (Apr 19, 2003)

Lady across the street, 7 or 8 years ago, actually had the nurses cross her legs and lay across them till the dr arrived in a local hospital...

Thank God, baby was ok...

Just another example of how crazy the medical profesion is...

Wouldn't birth with an OB if...


----------



## quarteralien (Oct 4, 2006)

My second was born about half an hour after we got to the hospital. I had called my CNM and said it was definitely time, but she wasn't there when we got there, and the nurse wanted to check me to see if I was far enough along for the CNM to come in. Yeah, major feelings of abandonement by a professional I trusted, and I'm still not totally over it. Anyway, I was declared an 8, and as the nurse left the room to call the CNM, my body started pushing. No one told me to stop, thankfully, she just gloved herself when she came back and caught DD and that was that. My CNM got there just in time for the placenta to come out. I asked the nurse if she would get credit for that, and she said no, that the CNM would get paid just the same, and no one but us would know that it was the nurse who had really done the catching. Yup, messed up system, and I'm staying home next time.


----------



## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

As I sit here and read this thread, I am so thankful that I have never had an OB birth, only HB's and UC's.

I know if anyone told me not to push and felt I needed to, I would do what I needed to do, and if they stood in my way, I would get violent with them.


----------



## UrbanSimplicity (Oct 26, 2005)

double post


----------



## UrbanSimplicity (Oct 26, 2005)

I haven't read all the responses, but my midwife tried to get me to breath rather than push---I went through transition and the pushing stage very quickly. I felt like there's was no WAY I could NOT push---so I did and dd came out all at once and I tore in 4 places. She was only 7 pounds so I hope to ease this next baby out a little more slowly.

My friend had her first baby 30 minutes after her arrival at her birth center. I realized that meant she probably went through the hardest part of labor in the car (half hour drive) and when I asked her about it she said "yup, I didn't care, I was pushing!".

I think once your body tells you to push, there's not much your brain can do to override that!


----------

