# Lies they told us at L&D....



## Millicent (Mar 22, 2008)

Hello everyone. I am collecting stories of blantant lies that nurses/docs and other hospital staff have told us.

Like, "This won't affect the baby at all." as they administer a narcotic....







:

Any good ones out there?


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## Britishmum (Dec 25, 2001)

Not quite a lie, but a definite manipulation.

"I'm afraid that your cervix is going to start swelling."

After 24 hours of labor, in mid-contraction, I heard "I'm afraid that your cervix has started swelling."

I give into the epidural and pitocin, crying about it like a baby.

Only when in Birthing from Within class 3 years later, with my doula present, due to the damage that this birth experience did to me, did I realise what had actually been said. I also drew pictures of closed doors and people whispering, and my doula then confirmed that the nurses and doctors were talking about me outside the door, deciding how to manipulate me into the managed birth that I was refusing. It was a calculated strategy to get me to give in.

I still fantasize about contacting them and telling them how bad I feel about it, eight years on. I am still so angry, as my birth was stolen from me. I hate those nurses so vehemently for what they did to me. But of course, I had a healthy baby, so it was all justified.


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## 3xx1xyFamily (Nov 25, 2007)

oh I heard great ones, but they were before delivery... some that I remember and can quote:

in reference to BP, amidst me arguing how stupid this was "140/99 is EXTREMELY high blood pressure, we need to get that baby out now!"

I continued to argue the point that 1 high blood pressure read (and one not necessarily high enough) does not indicate Pre E and I wasn't going to submit to induction or planned c-sec... OB looks to my husband and says "She's KILLING your child by giving birth vaginally"

I allowed them to monitor me, if thats what would make them feel better... never repeated and elevated BP, but was forced to do NST's while laying flat on my back: "Your baby had a decel during the braxton hicks... surely, your baby will never handle labor" Once again, said to my husband, not me.

I walked into a hospital 5 hours later for my scheduled c-sec to make my husband stop crying hysterically. Baby was taken at 38 weeks. I stayed home for the 2nd one.


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## Staciemao (Feb 15, 2008)

Well, it technically wasn't in L&D, but my OB/GYN told me that I had "a seven and a half pound pelvis" and if he got any bigger than that I was going to have to have a c-section so my pelvis wouldn't break.

Two years later I had an eight pounder...with no damage to my pelvis whatsoever.

Sometimes I just feel sorry for the medical establishment....living in that much fear cannot possibly be fun.


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## Patchfire (Dec 11, 2001)

I was told, within fifteen minutes of each other:

"There's no way you can be far enough along to push," and then, "You need to get out of the tub NOW so I can check you, we don't want to give birth in the water after all!"

I was also told, "We are going to break your water." Not, we'd like to do this, just, _we are_.


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## AllyRae (Dec 10, 2003)

Pitocin is safe. Pitocin is necessary. You are required to consent to it or you have to leave (mid-labor no less).

Three years ago next week, we were a victim of those very lies. And I wish people would finally be a little more honest about the risks of pitocin...it's NOT safe.


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## AllyRae (Dec 10, 2003)

Oh, and with my first, we were told he was going to be too huge for me to deliver (thank goodness I ignored them...my huge baby--6 lbs 15 oz. He did have a big giant head though.







: )


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## Belle (Feb 6, 2005)

Said by my regular OB who was going on vacation and wanted to schedule dd1's induction
"Pitocin isn't really that bad, women just think its bad because they're in the hospital already" (It makes a great argument for hb)

I've got lots on the on-call OB who actually caught her

"Stop making noise, its counter productive for your pushes"

"Don't breathe before we stop counting to ten, you need to push for the full count, it doesn't matter that you feel you're going to pass out. We'll just have you lay down flat on your back and give you oxygen between your contractions (but not during them). Oops, it looks like your baby is having decelerations, (looks to my dh) We need to give her the IV you declined in case we have to get this baby out fast, she'll need some drugs" (This was two pushes before she was born)

"Push through the ring of fire"

"Let me know if you start feeling me stitching you up and I'll give you another local" When I said I felt it she said "I'm almost done" No more local.


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## _betsy_ (Jun 29, 2004)

"Pitocin is the exact same thing as the hormone your body produces, we're just giving you a little kickstart.... No, no, it's the exact same... where do you read this stuff? The Internet?... no, the contractions are the exact same as natural ones..."

"Ok, so there goes your water..." ie, she broke it without my knowledge or consent


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## chaoticzenmom (May 21, 2005)

"don't worry, anything we cause, we can fix" As my son's heart starts to decelerate and mine starts to accelerate after we got the epidural.


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## Turquesa (May 30, 2007)

:


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## amymaew (Apr 25, 2007)

Cytotec is DEFINITELY safer than a foley bulb induction.

If you don't get the Vitamin K shot your baby will die.

The eye ointment protects against all sorts of bacteria - STDs, GBS, everything baby comes in contact with.

Vaginal exams don't increase the risk of infection. (said after SROM)


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## PassionateWriter (Feb 27, 2008)

you will bleed to death if you attempt a VBAC

your uterus will rupture if you attempt a VBAC

we have to take your baby early Dec. (ONE MONTH before his birth date of 1/1) or you could die

i dont know of others off the top of my head. those are the ones that keep me away from OB's.


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## barefootpoetry (Jul 19, 2007)

These all came after the labor with my first:

"Your pelvis is misshapen."

"Your pelvis is very, very small."

"You probably couldn't ever birth a baby bigger than 6 pounds."

"If this were the 1800s, both you and your baby would have died."

"We don't know how you had a cervical laceration" (you effing DID IT TO ME during surgery)

"If you try a VBAC, your cervical scar will split open again."

.....Fast forward to me birthing a 8 lb. 4 oz. baby at home. with no lasting complications. Mmmmkay then!


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

:


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## bluegirl91695 (Aug 30, 2008)

Technically not L&D but at my first OB appt. the midwife told me that I was "a 'section' waiting to happen" when she found out that I was 5 feet tall. Needless to say, I ended up switching practices and had a wonderful natural (almost water!) birth.


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## barefootpoetry (Jul 19, 2007)

Oh, I forgot one more. When I was fully dilated, the CNM told me to start pushing. I said no, because I didn't feel the urge yet. She got up in my face and said, "If you push now you can have this baby out in an hour, but if you fight it, it will take twice as long." I started pushing. Guess how long I pushed? FOUR HOURS.


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## rmzbm (Jul 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *_betsy_* 
"Pitocin is the exact same thing as the hormone your body produces, we're just giving you a little kickstart.... No, no, it's the exact same... where do you read this stuff? The Internet?... no, the contractions are the exact same as natural ones..."

Heard that one myself...


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## Fyrestorm (Feb 14, 2006)

See my birth story in my siggie....it was one lie after another from every HCP that came into contact with me.


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## Ish'smom (May 16, 2007)

When the external monitor kept falling off they said, "If you just let us give you an internal monitor it will make it easier for you to move around," I consented and then the cords got caught on the bed every time I tried to get up during a contraction.

After 9 hours of labor during transition when I was 7-8 centimeters they said, " You need to consider having an epidural or a C-Section," I became hysterical and consented to an epidural that I still regret.

And that's only two of the stupid things they said to me in labor.


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## applejuice (Oct 8, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bluegirl91695* 
Technically not L&D but at my first OB appt. the midwife told me that I was "a 'section' waiting to happen" when she found out that I was 5 feet tall. Needless to say, I ended up switching practices and had a wonderful natural (almost water!) birth.

I am five feet tall, small to medium build, and 100-120 pounds not pregnant and I had four home births. Thank G-d I never listened to people who said things like that to me.


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## elanorh (Feb 1, 2006)

This was afterwards, but both times I was told that nipple confusion is a myth and that I shouldn't let SJ nurse 'on demand' or for 'that long' or else I'd become a "human pacifier."

To which I repeatedly replied, I am breastfeeding, this helps my milk come in better, and it's better for her and me. We have a good latch. We do not need a pacifier!

They thought I was really weird.


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## MsHiss (Nov 17, 2005)

In a INTERVIEW a CNM told me if I refused a epsiotomy I would "blow my ass out"


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## mandam (May 11, 2008)

I was told by an OB I later left that pitocin wasn't so bad. I had told her that I had heard from many women how difficult pitocin made a pain medication free labor because the intensity and frequency of the contractions. She told me that they just weren't experiencing "real" labor without the drug so they didn't know what it was supposed to feel like.

This from a woman who had an elective c-section.

The next time I saw her was to tell her I had switched to another practice.


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## onelilguysmommy (May 11, 2005)

with a friend- she said no pit- they gave it to her and said it was for hydration. with this giant neon sticker saying PITOCIN in big letters. apparently neither of us can read :sigh:
then they gave her, knowing she had a history of drug abuse morphine and a LOT of it and said theres nothing contradictory in that.
THEN the circ stuff in the pamphlets were lies and they never told her a risk of an epi is paralysis. wasnt in the consent form at all! i said it, she was told i was nuts, they kicked me out and got her to sign it. uhh..duh, something going IN YOUR SPINE has the possibility of paralyzing you.

mine....
if i didnt get an epi, id be begging later and be sorry

got told that i was pushing way too long. and she put the vacuum cup in her hand entirely and just shoved. wow that wasnt fun. SHE ripped me, not my son! (only needed a couple stitches, and theres no problems from it, but still!) she said either push NOW or she was using it and got a nurse to bring the machine to her. i pushed SEVEN TIMES TOTAL! it was 3 or 4 when she did this. how the bloody flippin *$(# is that too long? i know they were mad my contractions werent on top of each other making me push solidly and i refused to push when not contracting ( i said "no, wait, im not having one" a few times and got irrtated looks and huffs and signs and tapping feet) but geez.

that he had brown hair, and no way could it be red (yeah this still has me baffled 3.5 years later...i was looking at the kids head and was like...uhh..no, its red. its definitely red! no way could you think this is brown!)

i asked if they had anything but the pit. she looked shocked i knew the difference and had a problem and said cytotec, my choice. i said NO WAY and she said theres nothing wrong with it, among other things. right. she ended up giving me a foley while the pit was really low because i *really* didnt want the pit at all, and i hoped that would work to start my own labor, but nope and then they cranked it up anyway without letting me wait a bit to see :sigh:

he would have a brain bleed and die if i didnt submit to the vit k

then that if i didnt get the screening test, hed die for sure

THEN if i didnt get the hearing test that hed be deaf (wth?)

ill still think i know ive posted a few more.


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## paintedbison (Dec 10, 2007)

First birth:

When I asked my doc if I could do intermittant monitoring she said "that's something you just read about on the internet... no one actually does that". (Actually that might not have been a lie... hardly anyone here does do that.)

At 36 weeks she said I should be scheduled for induction at 38 weeks just because. I refused. At 40 weeks she checked me and I was c/t/h... she said "well, you certainly can't be induced now... you're cervix is completely closed". Hmmm... but I could have been induced at 38weeks? Funny how that works... I think she thought it would be punishing me because surely I would be desperate to get the baby out by 40 weeks.

"You won't want to move around in labor. No one likes to move when they are in hard labor." And of course I didn't move. I was hooked up to an iv, bp cuff, and fetal monitors.

Second birth was much better. No lies.


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## Celticqueen (Feb 17, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *_betsy_* 
"Pitocin is the exact same thing as the hormone your body produces, we're just giving you a little kickstart.... No, no, it's the exact same... where do you read this stuff? The Internet?... no, the contractions are the exact same as natural ones..."

Ugh!

















Now that *is* a blatant lie. If I had been there, I would have argued so much with him.

-Caitrin


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## LadyAlathia (Sep 5, 2008)

I got off lucky.

I was induced at 42 weeks. My midwife works for an OB one day a week, so I transferred to her practice. Ricci (my midwife) apparently told everyone at the hospital that I was a nurse and a midwifery student, I know my stuff, and don't even bother feeding me the rhetoric, because I'll know they're BS-ing me.








: I LOVE MY MIDWIFE!







:

(I'm neither a nurse, nor a midwifery student, by the way...







)

The OB told me when I was in recovery that I was a c-sec all day long for any other doctor. I had the hospital bending rules to make SURE I could go vaginally. 37 hours of labor, man. That was some hard going.


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## meganmarie (Jan 29, 2005)

"No, you have to lie on your back to push. Otherwise the baby will get stuck on the pelvic bone"








- L&D nurse, in response to my request to be in any other position BESIDES my back

Argued feebly but was too far in laborland to haul myself into another position without help. Tore fairly badly that time. I tore much less with #2 where I lay on my side to push, thanks to my midwives.

To be fair, that 1st L&D nurse was pretty supportive - considering her mainstream hospital/OB context - on almost all the rest of my birth plan, so I think she may have been genuinely ignorant not technically *lying*.


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## mommy2two babes (Feb 7, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MsHiss* 
In a INTERVIEW a CNM told me if I refused a epsiotomy I would "blow my ass out"

Wow, if i ever heard a professional use those words I would probably LMAO at the stupididty and then never return


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## aaronsmom (Jan 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *applejuice* 
I am five feet tall, small to medium build, and 100-120 pounds not pregnant and I had four home births. Thank G-d I never listened to people who said things like that to me.

I'm 4'9" and 97-105 lbs when not pregnant. I was told my pelvis would be too small to give birth vaginally by an OB in my CNM's practice. I've had one hospital vaginal birth with a CNM and one unassisted homebirth. Take that Mr. PhD.
During labor with my first a nurse told me I would need an emergency csection because I had been "stalled" at 6 cm for 1/2 hour.







:


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## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Ugh. Current client. Still pregnant, so this is pre- L&D.

She just found out she was GBS+. She's been told she absolutely HAS to go to the hospital within an hour of contractions starting and/or her water breaking. And I'm not talking 'oh, we don't recommend you labor at home, we want you to come in right away', I'm talking- she called me in a panic because there's no way she can get her dog, ready, her child ready, drop them off at their respective "babysitters", prepare herself, AND make it to the hospital within an hour. She is actually worried that something is going to happen, and has started planning our routes/routines so that she can make sure she's there within an hour. *sigh*.

Same woman was also just told that she has to have the IV for the antibiotics in the WHOLE time- that she will be receiving the medication constantly. I told her that I'd never seen it like that- that they'll give the little 'packet' of meds with her saline, and it takes about 30-40 minutes to run through, and then she'll just get saline until the next dose, and she told me no, she's pretty sure her Dr just told her that the antibiotics are a constant stream thing.

How can you tell that we talked about laboring at home and refusing an IV at our last meeting? She wanted to stay home as long as possible, and was planning on refusing a routine IV (at least until she was hard into labor). Apparently Dr didn't like those ideas...


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## DoomaYula (Aug 22, 2006)

At a birth I attended recently: "Your body MAKES pitocin."

After AROM and pit for 12h, client is dialated to 6cm: "You need a c-section. We've done everything we can do."

Now, technically, that's not a lie, I guess -- they DID every intervention they could do. However, they one thing she wasn't given was TIME.


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## seaheroine (Dec 24, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Staciemao* 
Sometimes I just feel sorry for the medical establishment....living in that much fear cannot possibly be fun.

Yeah that!


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## Mavournin (Jul 9, 2002)

With a recent client of mine:

(Doc was roughly tugging on cord to get placenta to detach. Client had a beautiful birth with no complications)

Client: Ow! Why are you doing that?
Doc: Because if I don't remove the placenta right away you will bleed too much and then we could have an emergency on our hands.


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## RoxyJas (May 11, 2007)

Reading this makes me feel like crying for some of you. Then I remember that when I showed up at the hospital in labor (stayed home for a long time, had already had one drug-free birth) I was 6 cm dialated and they found my baby was frank breech. I was then told I HAD to have a c-section because birthing him vaginally could kill him or me.









Luckily, I just had an AMAZING pain med-free, hospital VBAC experience 3 months ago, despite my being GBS+. Had to research like heck, and drive 3 hours to get it though.







Still on a birth high from it!


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## Mamabeakley (Jul 9, 2004)

From a birth with a client recently:

Me: could we try to get her more upright to help dilation? (no progress @ 7 cm after epi for 4 hours)

Dr: being upright won't help because it doesn't make contractions stronger (okay, maybe technically not a _lie_, but it sure would make the contractions _more effective_)

Me: you could try nipple stimulation for a while if you want to avoid pitocin augmentation.

Nurse: Oh, we don't do that anymore. We used too, but nipple stimulation is too dangerous (as opposed to the pit, which is completely safe







)

Me: you're getting a bit of a fever, but lots of women with epidurals do. It doesn't necessarily mean you have an infection.

Nurse: No, the fever means you have an infection. That's why the Dr. is giving you antibiotics. If you didn't have an infection, she wouldn't give you the antibiotics, only the tylenol.


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## bvnms (Apr 29, 2008)

When I had Stephanie, they gave me Demerol without asking me and then told me later
"We gave you Demerol to help you relax."

After having Michael (with nothing) and then Nicholas with Demerol, it doesn't work unless they give me way to much so I can't remember anything.


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## feest (May 25, 2007)

nurse"OK now that your water broke we have to attach an eternal fetal monitor".... me and DH"how does it stay on" stumbling over her words " uhh... it suctions to the baby's head" lies! it screws into the scalp

they smeared goo in our nb's eyes "whats that for?" we say "oh, babies don't make their own tears so this will protect his eyes for drying out"







it was the antiviral goo for in case u have chlamydia.

i was told i HAD to name the baby or i was not allowed to leave the hospital







:

my husband was told he could not come with for the NB exam...he said there was no way they were taking his baby away w/o him and after some heated words were exchanged he went with.

i also had my placenta ripped out by the Dr. 2min after my son was born...me "i thought i was supposed to push out my placenta" Dr."no".

needless to say we homebirthed the next two


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## feest (May 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MsHiss* 
In a INTERVIEW a CNM told me if I refused a epsiotomy I would "blow my ass out"


blown out ass ROFL is that a technical term BLahahah


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## HappyMommy2 (Jan 27, 2007)

Directly from my OB as I was begging her not to force pitocin on me: "Pitocin contractions are no different than natural contractions."

Totally blatantly false!! Now I know the truth, but at least I have my HBAC to prove her wrong about absolutely everything!


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## barefootpoetry (Jul 19, 2007)

WOW.







Some of these are really bad! Makes me wonder if they're really that stupid, or if they think WE are!


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## dynamicdoula (Jun 11, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HBACtivist* 
Hello everyone. I am collecting stories of blantant lies that nurses/docs and other hospital staff have told us.

Like, "This won't affect the baby at all." as they administer a narcotic....







:

Any good ones out there?

To what end?


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## jenn252 (Jun 9, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MsHiss* 
In a INTERVIEW a CNM told me if I refused a epsiotomy I would "blow my ass out"

If someone told me that in an interview or at any time, I would have started laughing and then walked out. Oh my!


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## Turquesa (May 30, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *feest* 
nurse"OK now that your water broke we have to attach an eternal fetal monitor".... me and DH"how does it stay on" stumbling over her words " uhh... it suctions to the baby's head" lies! it screws into the scalp

_Eternal_ fetal monitor? Did you mean internal? Was that a Freudian slip, and it just felt eternal? Give me _continuous_ fetal monitoring over _eternal_ monitoring any day!









Quote:

they smeared goo in our nb's eyes "whats that for?" we say "oh, babies don't make their own tears so this will protect his eyes for drying out"







it was the antiviral goo for in case u have chlamydia.
The line must have already worked on some other poor patient for them to be trying it on you.


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## bente (Apr 1, 2002)

Somthing along the lines of "It is time. We are going to HELP you have this baby".....right before all hell broke loose









And all for no good reason


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## SalmonBayDoula (Jul 10, 2005)

your cervix feels very dehydrated!

Huh???


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## jennifer_lc1 (Sep 8, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *3xx1xyFamily* 
oh I heard great ones, but they were before delivery... some that I remember and can quote:

in reference to BP, amidst me arguing how stupid this was "140/99 is EXTREMELY high blood pressure, we need to get that baby out now!"

I continued to argue the point that 1 high blood pressure read (and one not necessarily high enough) does not indicate Pre E and I wasn't going to submit to induction or planned c-sec... OB looks to my husband and says "She's KILLING your child by giving birth vaginally"

I allowed them to monitor me, if thats what would make them feel better... never repeated and elevated BP, but was forced to do NST's while laying flat on my back: "Your baby had a decel during the braxton hicks... surely, your baby will never handle labor" Once again, said to my husband, not me.

I walked into a hospital 5 hours later for my scheduled c-sec to make my husband stop crying hysterically. Baby was taken at 38 weeks. I stayed home for the 2nd one.


wow. you sound exactly like me. i also had the "high blood pressure" reads close to yours, and my doctor, along with 4 or 5 nurses threw the comment "youre killing your baby" at me also. that did wonders for my stress, really.

i hate doctors.


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## fullhandsfullheart (Sep 11, 2008)

"Since this is your first baby, you will need an episiotomy."
"Your water has broken; you will have to stay in bed now."
"No, you can't have ice chips; they'll make you vomit."
"The medicine I put in your epidural cannot be making you feel light-headed" as she stayed with me for the next hour monitoring my blood pressure and pumping me full of fluid.
"Your baby is large for gestational age, so we'll need to draw some blood" said of my 41-week baby weighing 8 lb 2 oz.
"When baby crowns, you'll wish you had that epidural!"

ETA--And my hospital coworkers wonder why on earth I decided to stay home for baby #5???


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## triscuitsmom (Jan 11, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mavournin* 
With a recent client of mine:

(Doc was roughly tugging on cord to get placenta to detach. Client had a beautiful birth with no complications)

Client: Ow! Why are you doing that?
Doc: Because if I don't remove the placenta right away you will bleed too much and then we could have an emergency on our hands.

I got this too!!!

And then I hemmoraged due to all of the interventions that kept being done.

The next day I had a nurse walk in first thing and see my packing my bags (less than 24 hours after delivery).

N: What are you doing?
Me: I'm leaving
N: You can't do that yet
Me: OK, well I am.
N: But you hemmoraged yesterday, if you leave now you'll DIE!!!
(my midwife H walks in)
Me: H, I'm leaving, I really need to go home.
H: OK, I'll sign your discharge papers. I'll see you tomorrow and you have the pager if you need me in the meantime.

Thank God for my midwife.

So fast forward to this pregnancy... my first appointment with my new midwife (new city, I can't go with the same HCP as last time) and I tell her I hemmoraged with my last baby because of a whole cascades of interventions especially my highly managed third stage where my cord was pulled on to get the placenta out.

What does my midwife say? First she says I might want to consider a hospital birth since I hemmoraged last time (hello! it was caused by being IN the hospital last time)... and then she says "Well if you are really committed to a homebirth that's fine but we'll need to make sure we actively manage your third stage. Mandatory pitocin and cord traction are the way to go"

Riiiiight... way to listen


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## barefootpoetry (Jul 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *triscuitsmom* 

What does my midwife say? First she says I might want to consider a hospital birth since I hemmoraged last time (hello! it was caused by being IN the hospital last time)... and then she says "Well if you are really committed to a homebirth that's fine but we'll need to make sure we actively manage your third stage. Mandatory pitocin and cord traction are the way to go"

Yeah, I had people telling me that I shouldn't have a homebirth with my second child.... because of the hemorrage with my first....that was caused by being in the hospital.







: Oookay then! Your logic is astounding!


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## corrio (Jul 11, 2005)

Heres one for you.. My younger sister was in the pushing stage at the hospital.. And didn't want to wear the Oxgen mask.. The Doctor says "if you want a smart baby keep the mask on.."

Yah...

Oh and during my pregnancy I was told by the same doctor that not getting the rogam vaccine during pregnancy is like doing crack. After that I never seen this doctor again.. Too bad for my little sister..


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## BetsyS (Nov 8, 2004)

They kept telling me, "don't worry. Women don't grow babies too big for them to birth."

When I did grow a baby that big (he was 11lb, 14 oz, and he wasn't coming out), it took a long time to get over asking what the h#$% was wrong with me that my body couldn't do the one simple task of growing an appropriately sized baby. Because EVERYONE's body knew that. Everyone except me, apparently.


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