# Cant afford to feed the 500.



## Strong Mama (Feb 7, 2006)

Ok, Im stretching it a bit, its not 500, more like 7. But we just cannot afford to feed ds' friends all the time. They come over, we dont mind that, it could be one friend, it has been 10, but they all want to eat when they are here. Dh is about to blow his top, and we just cant afford it, what do you do? They were just here and ate all my apples, they were supposed to last us all week!


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## Cherie2 (Sep 27, 2006)

Try a food box?

I don't know, I would just so rather find a way to feed the 500 than have my dc over at somebody else's house yk?

teenagers LOVE ramen $2.19 a case


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## Strong Mama (Feb 7, 2006)

Quote:

Try a food box?

Whats a food box??

And my teen loves ramen, but his friends want all my good expensive foo,not the cheap stuff!


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## Lucky. (Dec 26, 2007)

Ouch! I know I've felt bad when I thought about all the homes I raided and ate at. My parents never bought "the good stuff", so I went to town when I was at friends' houses.

+1 to the ramen thing. The only other sad alternative I could think of is to simply buy more scratch stuff. No snacks, no quick desserts, etc. 100% beans, rice, etc. I know, not much help...


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Transitions* 
Whats a food box??

I'm not sure, but I think she means designating a box/shelf/whatever of stuff that your DS and his friends are welcome to have when they're over, rather than them raiding your entire kitchen.

I feel bad too when I think of how much my friends and I ate out of our parents'/friends' parents' cupboards when we were teens -- we were like a plague of locusts!


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## mommy68 (Mar 13, 2006)

You could hide the things you want for your own family. You could also let "your" child know what is off limits when they have friends over.







Plus, you could have a basket or bowl of approved snacks for the children while they are in your home. If they want more then they can bring it from their own home.

Actually, if it were me it wouldn't go down like that anyway. My child wouldn't have kids over all the time like that. I'm sure those kids parents are just loving the fact that another parent is taking it all on so they don't have to. That's seriously NOT fair. I'd be calling the other parents and telling them to either feed them before they come over or send a snack with them or cash to buy them food. It shouldn't all fall on you.

This topic reminds me of someone I knew when I was much younger, before I had children. She had kids and grandkids at her house all the time. Everyone loved to hang out at this persons house. She got to the point when neighborhood kids knocked on the door at 8am on Saturday morning that she told them to stay outdoors and wait for her kids/grandkids to get out there later in the day. It got crazy. For her, it wasn't about them eating her food because she had STRICT rules that no one comes in her house, they had to stay outside.







But she had more issues with them showing up at her house and staying there all day and coming at very odd hours of the day. Those poor kids parents just didn't want them at home. I remember some of the kids being as young as 4 years old. One child even had a younger sibling in a diaper following him around.


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## mtiger (Sep 10, 2006)

I figure that I'd rather have them at my house than hanging out God knows where. As for food? Pretty much all of them pitch in by bringing snacks or drinks, and when they want more than that, I generally throw on a pot of pasta or throw together a few pizzas for them.


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## BedHead (Mar 8, 2007)

I like them hanging around, and I always offer to feed them. However, I don't keep much in the way of junk food at all, so they more often than not refuse what I offer them. I don't let them raid the kitchen - I offer what's available and if they don't want it they usually order themselves a pizza or something.


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## enkmom (Aug 30, 2004)

My children always have friends over, and yes, we feed them. Anyone is welcome to stay for dinner, and we just pare down the portions to make sure everyone gets a serving. As far as snacks, they eat chips if we have them, or they can pop popcorn, make peanut butter sandwiches, or heat up frozen french fries. And no one has ever turned up a nose at ice water to drink.


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## ~*max*~ (Dec 23, 2002)

I think I'd explain nicely to your son that you enjoy having his friends over & you want to offer them snacks, but you also have to budget for the family's food each week. I would try to clear out a shelf or small cabinet somewhere & explain that you'll keep that stocked w/snacks for his friends, but to please not help themselves to the other stuff. Then I'd stock that cabinet w/some inexpensive snacks that the kids like - pretzels, chips & salsa, lemonade mix - all things you can find on sale.

I think the fact that the kids like to hang out at your house is a credit to you & your family. I am sure you can find a way to make it work for everyone.


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

I buy things like popcorn, chips, pretzels, salsa. Homemade cookies, like oatemal are cheap enough, and most kids can't turn down warm cookies, even if they are 'only' oatmeal. I've also stocked up on whatever sale frozen pizza the market offers-- there is usually some 2 for $10 special. I usually end up trying to hide these in the back of the basement freezer for such occassions.







These sale pizzas are often cheaper than buying the cheese to make homemade ones, although of course not as healthy. I know wouldnt like the kids to just raid the cupboards, and that's never happened. I would talk with your child and tell him that has to stop. That you will let him know what is available for that particular day.

I agree with the PPs, it's comforting to me to have the teens at our place.


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## nolonger (Jan 18, 2006)

I love having them here and my only complaint is that they don't stay longer and that public school kids tend to be very skittish compared to the homeschoolers I'm accustomed to, which is hardly THEIR fault.

I buy them Top Ramen, but not all the time, because I worry about it filling their stomachs but not their nutritional needs. It costs me $2.19 a case at Winco's.

I offer them what I eat: beans, rice, local seasonal produce, and homemade whole grain bread. I make sure they know which is my food, which they can help themselves to, and which is my daughter's and her partner's, which I expect them to stay out of and respect just as if the big 'uns were any other roommates.

They tend to turn their noses up at what I have and pool their money for sodas, chips, corn dogs, cheap burritoes, etc. That's okay, even though I'm not thrilled with how they take care of their bodies, but I guess there isn't anything much I can do about it other than work on my cooking skills a bit. It also sends the message loud and clear that they are here for the company, not to score a free meal.

FWIW, they do reciprocate my hospitality and usually offer me their junk food, but I'm afraid I feel about the same way towards soda and chips as they feel towards beans and rice.


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## alima (Jun 16, 2006)

I'm just blunt: "don't eat food unless I offer it to you, or you can't come back."

I've never had a big problem with this, though, I live in a low-income co-op, all of ds's friends come from low-income families and all pretty well understand that the food their eating might mean someone else doesn't get to eat.

The only time I've really had to step in and give someone a talking to has been with the middle-class kids who are used to more hospitality than I can afford to give. Most have been very respectful.


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## Bestbirths (Jan 18, 2003)

We tell them that their friends can't eat our food without permission. There had been a couple times when my son's teenaged friends ate some dinner of ours and my own children went without dinner because it was gone by the time they got to the kitchen!

We had a family meeting about that. Our food smells so good sometimes, the friends told my son man, that smells so good. Well, at first, my teenaged son would offer the food to his friends before everyone had eaten (we don't all sit at the table. Everyone just gets their food and eats wherever). We made a rule that you can't offer dinner to your friends until everyone in our family has eaten. Afterwards, i might offer the friends the leftovers. Especially food that doesn't taste better the second day, like seafood.







:

It got to where they just bring their own bag food over and put it in my son's minifridge. Especially as they got older and all had their own cars. We put a microwave down in the basement, and they would microwave dinners for themselves . This is because as gamers they would come over for weeks at a time sometimes and lan and sleep on our couches, floors, etc. Kids that stay for weeks at a time, I fed more often when I had the money. We loved to entertain during a lan. But it got to where we couldn't afford it as much as we used to. Sometimes we have extra money and we make cookies and offer. When I used to have extra money I would stock the mini fridge with all kinds of drinks, but those days are long gone. We just can't do it anymore. When we offer food, it is ok, and it is special. I just apologized when I brought my son his food down to his room while he was gaming, that I was sorry that I don't have enough to feed everybody....so basically all the friends respect that. The ones who don't, I can count on one hand....and I don't like. I love it when we do have extra money to cook for the friends, and I do have favorite friends that we just love to cook for, the ones who really appreciate it, and say "I look forward to coming over to your house for the awesome food". It's just that right now I can't afford to do that, so it is a real bummer.

I told my kids....just look at that kid that comes over and takes food w/o asking....its rude and its disrespectful...he was 16! He went into our fridge and took food w/o asking. that is all I remember about that kid and my kids know







: how much it irks me.


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## Bestbirths (Jan 18, 2003)

double post!


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## PiesandAbrosmama (Jan 31, 2003)

Everyone has good ideas here, I'm not at this level yet but very interested. O quick tip my mother in law taught me about this. For tuna sandwiches you can use one can and make it two by saving the juice from the can and adding oats (any oatmeal will do) to the juice. Mix with the tuna and all the fixings and yola 2 can for the price of 1. This really works no one would ever know infact my hubby never knew that's what is mom did his whole life


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## operamommy (Nov 9, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommy68* 

Actually, if it were me it wouldn't go down like that anyway. My child wouldn't have kids over all the time like that. I'm sure those kids parents are just loving the fact that another parent is taking it all on so they don't have to. That's seriously NOT fair. I'd be calling the other parents and telling them to either feed them before they come over or send a snack with them or cash to buy them food. It shouldn't all fall on you.



Whoa. That POV really seems to be characterizing the other parents as jerks who want someone else to feed their kids all the time; I have a hard time believing that is truly going on! Fact is: teenaged kids eat LOTS, even when they've just been fed.







I definately would *not* call any parents with that kind of attitude.

I think PP ideas about keeping a certain shelf in the pantry stocked with cheap snacks is the way to go.


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *operamommy* 
Whoa. That POV really seems to be characterizing the other parents as jerks who want someone else to feed their kids all the time; I have a hard time believing that is truly going on! Fact is: teenaged kids eat LOTS, even when they've just been fed.







I definately would *not* call any parents with that kind of attitude.

I think PP ideas about keeping a certain shelf in the pantry stocked with cheap snacks is the way to go.

Not to mention, it's never really the exact bunch each time! lol I also know that all of my teens' friends have parents who have fed teens not-their-own, as well. Teens are growing and busy and they need lots of fuel. You would not believe how much our Board Game Hsing group can put away,







Watcha gonna do...you just plan some rea$onable food items (homemade and sale food lol) and be glad they want to be home.


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## duckling (Feb 24, 2007)

I think the previous posts about a designated cabinet or shelf for your son's friends. That way, they can help themselves without breaking your budget. I feel like most teens would have an easier time respecting that than having to find you and ask each time someone would like a snack. (Although you may want to warn them that you'll only refill that shelf once per week/two weeks/whenever so they aren't surprised when the food doesn't magically reappear every day.)

Do you have a membership to a bulk foods place like Sam's or Costco? I don't know how you feel about the big chains, but you can get a whole lot of food for little money and stock up on stuff they like. They sell perfect army-sized portions for teens.









If your house is the consistent hang out place, as opposed to all the kids spending roughly equal time in each others' homes, maybe ask other parents to chip in some money for food or send some snacks to share. If you're the one consistently feeding these kids, then it would seem pretty reasonable for more than one parent to share that expense.

Also, have a talk with your ds and see if he has suggestions. I'll bet the two of you could brainstorm some great ideas.


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## ewins24 (May 16, 2006)

When I was a teenager my house was where everyone went to hang out. It got very very expensive for my parents so they had a "talk" w/ us and here is what they did for us, since they knew teenagers are always hungry.
Mom would buy cheap stuff on sale or things in bulk. Very easy stuff to prepare, popcorn, romen noodles, frozen things that we could pop in the microwave. We were also told that we could only eat the stuff in our cabinet. Mom never bought us soda, she had Kool-aide or sweet tea or just water around for us. Everyone knew that if they didn't respect the rules then they were not allowed to come back.

I've done this w/ my dd and her friends. It has gone over pretty well, although they still ask for soda?

Good luck.


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## jul511riv (Mar 16, 2006)

make a game.

set out a few ingredients (egg, red pepper,onion, parsley) and challenge them to make a meal outta it. dh's friends used to LOVE to do this together. Wasnt a ton of food, but therewas more respect for it because they made it themselves.

of course this is only a sometimes solution.


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## smillerhouse (Aug 5, 2006)

I think it comes down to honesty abut budget and communicating that. Like others pps expressed, I would rather have her here (I see it it as partial entertainment cost). I agree, teens eat lots.
My daughter , 14 has been cooking all day -we are having a family over for New Years Eve. It is an outlet for her to cook food.I am proud of h er. She made the list, got the recipes. She makes such beautiful food-much nicer looking than I can.







I have a snack bowl-I get a lot of fun teen type stuff like pizza French bread,etc. I would rather have them here than the whole Starbucks Moe thing multlple times a week








I shop the sales-I can get buy one get one free . I also put limits on amount of kids-she (and I) do better not having hordes and hordes. I saved a hundred dollars Saturday.
Again, communciation-for her travel voleyball team, everyone is buying their own food.
My son goes over to his collee freind's house a lot-they usually get a pizza and put money in for drinks. Sallie


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## ABrez (Apr 4, 2007)

Do the teens live nearby? Most of DS friends (ages 12-16) live close by so I send them home to eat and tell them they can come back at ____ o'clock,









I do keep some stuff on hand pretzels, bag of apples, clementines, etc. Cases of Ramen Noodles. They know to ask before they eat anything.

My son does have one close friend that stays and eats here for almost every meal but he is like a second son to me. On the rare occasion he doesn't spend the night my son goes across the street in the morning to tell him breakfast is ready. Otherwise he might not get breakfast. His mom has drinking issues and it's just better for him here. One more doesn't make that much of a difference.

ETA: The other kids don't get jealous of him. In fact one didn't know for almost a year I wasn't the other kids mom since he calls me mom and is always here, LOL.


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## Bestbirths (Jan 18, 2003)

the thing about stocking the fridge or cabinet with crap snacks is that dangit, i have worked so hard and so long not to buy that stuff and to feed my children healthy foods. My younger add/aspie kids would raid that snack cabinet of junk in one day.

so if the friends are bringing a hot pocket to my house its one thing, but when i can afford a snack to share with my childrens friends, i like it to be real food. I get enjoyment and gratification out of cooking and feeding them real food, and don't have to worry about having a cabinet of junk food in the house to police.








:


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## chiromamma (Feb 24, 2003)

I often end up feeding kids at my house. I don't mind it a bit. I'd much rather they enjoy hanging out here than somewhere else. That said, we do popcorn (the old fashioned kind) the big tubs of hard pretzels, cheap stuff. There are always ingredients to make cookies from scratch and the kids know how to do it themselves. We have big bags of Chinese dumplings that are easy to prepare and go a long way. Often, a kid will bring a bag of stuff from their house since they know what to expect at ours.
I have a friend who has a garage fridge for kid snacks. That's where the guests are allowed to eat from.


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Bestbirths* 
the thing about stocking the fridge or cabinet with crap snacks is that dangit, i have worked so hard and so long not to buy that stuff and to feed my children healthy foods. My younger add/aspie kids would raid that snack cabinet of junk in one day.

so if the friends are bringing a hot pocket to my house its one thing, but when i can afford a snack to share with my childrens friends, i like it to be real food. I get enjoyment and gratification out of cooking and feeding them real food, and don't have to worry about having a cabinet of junk food in the house to police.








:

Except for the occasional frozen pizza, I *never* feed the visiting teens junk. Snack foods do not have to be junk. Popcorn, pretzels, tortilla chips (Bearitos) salsa, homemade cookies etc are not unhealthy unless there is an allergy. Homemade soups and veggie stews and pasta can be made for teens very cheaply.

I think some of us like having the kids over and are able to budget for them , and others simply doin't have the money, or maybe they don't like to have teens over. Our house is non stop teen activity, especially now with my oldest home on college break. This week we even have a teen housegurest from Vermont.

I wouldn't change having all these kids here for anything, even if it means stretching my food budget. I am just glad I can stretch it. But if I couldn't feed them healthy foods, I would buy them hot pockets (which I cannot imagine are cheap), just to have them feel welcomed. I love that kids feel happy being at our place. I love that my kids feel they can have friends over nearly any time they wish. I'm not going to turn kids away because of food.


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## Jeanne D'Arc (Apr 7, 2007)

I'm kinda surprised at all the recommendations for Ramen.
You know that stuff has MSG in it right?

If you can't afford to feed the kids, then don't. Why should
you have to go broke to give them snacks?


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## kriket (Nov 25, 2007)

most ramen dosn't have MSG in it. I have an allergy to MSG and i can bash some ramen!


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## chiromamma (Feb 24, 2003)

I would love to find MSG-free Ramen. Everything I've looked at has it. Well, other than the $1 a pack stuff at Wholefoods.


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## Cherie2 (Sep 27, 2006)

make ramen health

eta: you could also just add soy sauce or brauners and garlic to the noodles... toss the packet


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## Strong Mama (Feb 7, 2006)

Thanks for all the advice. UUmom, while I usually love your advice, I am a little bit offended in that you would think I would use food as an excuse to turn away teens!! I honestly cannot afford to feed these teens, they are not here just once a week, this is an almost everyday occurance! And I do not buy hotpockets, etc, they want to eat my healthy food, apples cost almost 4 bucks a bag, and I am trying to eat healthy and cant do that while my food is gone! I am glad they want to eat healthy, but eating my food up every single day practically is not cutting it, and I am not talking about a meal, I am just talking about they come here, go in the fridge, take out all my fruit, or my planters nuts(cost like 5 bucks a can, a luxury!) or other stuff we have like that and feed on it, they dont care about the ramen, frozen pizza or even pizza rolls I splurged on! I do have popcorn and pretzels and tortilla chips on tap most of the time anyway, but they eat it in one day, what happens the next day? They dont have those, so they eat something else, and something else the next day, you get what I mean? LOL I like the idea of putting ingredients out and having them cook, I am going to use that. I also talked to a few moms and they have gave me some $$ to go in the food pot as their sons are here a LOT. I also give to them if my son goes there for a few days to stay. We agreed that it costs a lot to feed these growing boys!


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## Jeanne D'Arc (Apr 7, 2007)

that sounds really hard transitions. You need to be upfront and
honest with the kids...please do not feel like you are being selfish.
It sounds like they are being selfish taking all your food!

Be frank with them, and yes put aside ingredients for them to
cook up something, and that is what they get foodwise.


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Transitions* 
Thanks for all the advice. UUmom, while I usually love your advice, I am a little bit offended in that you would think I would use food as an excuse to turn away teens!! I honestly cannot afford to feed these teens, they are not here just once a week, this is an almost everyday occurance! And I do not buy hotpockets, etc, they want to eat my healthy food, apples cost almost 4 bucks a bag, and I am trying to eat healthy and cant do that while my food is gone! I am glad they want to eat healthy, but eating my food up every single day practically is not cutting it, and I am not talking about a meal, I am just talking about they come here, go in the fridge, take out all my fruit, or my planters nuts(cost like 5 bucks a can, a luxury!) or other stuff we have like that and feed on it, they dont care about the ramen, frozen pizza or even pizza rolls I splurged on! I do have popcorn and pretzels and tortilla chips on tap most of the time anyway, but they eat it in one day, what happens the next day? They dont have those, so they eat something else, and something else the next day, you get what I mean? LOL I like the idea of putting ingredients out and having them cook, I am going to use that. I also talked to a few moms and they have gave me some $$ to go in the food pot as their sons are here a LOT. I also give to them if my son goes there for a few days to stay. We agreed that it costs a lot to feed these growing boys!


Huh? You obviously did not read my post. Are you the OP? If so, go read my very first post.


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## Strong Mama (Feb 7, 2006)

I have read all the posts on here, and while your first post was very helpful, as I read this part:
I

Quote:

think some of us like having the kids over and are able to budget for them , and others simply doin't have the money, or maybe they don't like to have teens over. Our house is non stop teen activity, especially now with my oldest home on college break. This week we even have a teen housegurest from Vermont.

I wouldn't change having all these kids here for anything, even if it means stretching my food budget. I am just glad I can stretch it. But if I couldn't feed them healthy foods, I would buy them hot pockets (which I cannot imagine are cheap), just to have them feel welcomed. I love that kids feel happy being at our place. I love that my kids feel they can have friends over nearly any time they wish. I'm not going to turn kids away because of food
I felt snark or what I thought was snark(the darn internet you cant read emotions! ) in that you felt like some people use food as an excuse to not have teens over, as they arent trying hard enough to budget for them. If that was not your intention, I am very sorry, like I said, it is hard to read between the lines on the net here. But your first post was very helpful, and I hope I didnt sound snarky to you. Thank you and blessings and light to you.


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## ewe+lamb (Jul 20, 2004)

My sister is recovering from having kids over and emptying her stock for the holiday period. They don't have a lot of money and she really makes a huge effort to make this festive time, well festive .... She went out with my Mum and when she came back found that her ds1 had invited the neighbourhood boys in for a snack, ALL her homemade cookies, biscuits, muffins, christmas cake, really good nice expensive fruit was GONE - nothing left, really nothing, all the hard work she had gone to was finished in about half an hour! A pp mentioned locusts - that was certainly the case. Her dh was there but was working on the computer and didn't notice! This is really more a case of youngsters coming in and taking ANYTHING they want and as it's certainly not reciprocated by her neighbours so now no-one is allowed in the house without her permission. Yes it's nice having kids over but when they take advantage of the situation you end up just feeling violated, which in itself is sad.


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## Bellejar (Oct 2, 2005)

I suggest always having a pot of chili and brown rice on. When we have a lot of guests I do this. It is quite cost effective and everyone loves chilli







We also used to love making instant mashed potatoes as teens (although I can't stomach them now).


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## MamaLisa1 (Mar 9, 2004)

We are planning on having a new room for our kids to hang out in, and I am going to have a fridge and cabinets that will be designated with stuff they can eat. If I notice that there are frequent visitors, I may have the girls just ask their friends to maybe bring over a cookie/brownie mix or a bag of chips once in a while when they come! I haven't had much trouble with it yet, but it may change when my son gets older!


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## Jeanne D'Arc (Apr 7, 2007)

Quote:

I suggest always having a pot of chili and brown rice on. When we have a lot of guests I do this. It is quite cost effective and everyone loves chilli We also used to love making instant mashed potatoes as teens (although I can't stomach them now).
Excellent idea!
Beans in bulk..soooo cheap!


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## Jeanne D'Arc (Apr 7, 2007)

Quote:

My sister is recovering from having kids over and emptying her stock for the holiday period. They don't have a lot of money and she really makes a huge effort to make this festive time, well festive .... She went out with my Mum and when she came back found that her ds1 had invited the neighbourhood boys in for a snack, ALL her homemade cookies, biscuits, muffins, christmas cake, really good nice expensive fruit was GONE - nothing left, really nothing, all the hard work she had gone to was finished in about half an hour! A pp mentioned locusts - that was certainly the case. Her dh was there but was working on the computer and didn't notice! This is really more a case of youngsters coming in and taking ANYTHING they want and as it's certainly not reciprocated by her neighbours so now no-one is allowed in the house without her permission. Yes it's nice having kids over but when they take advantage of the situation you end up just feeling violated, which in itself is sad.
Oh man that sucks...what do you do in a situation like that??


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## Bestbirths (Jan 18, 2003)

In a situation like the one where they ate all of the christmas cookies and goodies. That is like waaaay over the top. Also, with the OP, I am very very *funny* about people eating our apples. Frankly at $3 a lb for organic...my own children need to make sure they have someone to share with in our family before cutting into an apple. We only buy like six a week. I don't let my own sister's children eat our apples without grumbling and my mom replaces my apples when she uses them for my neices because she knows this. And I wouldn't let just anyone come over and eat our apples, and if they did boy oh boy would they get an earful from me! Keeping a pot of rice or chili on though...great idea...making a soup...great idea....I'll even contribute my precious bone broth to keep it healthy...but don't touch my apples! I have no problem sharing dinner...but hands off the fruit people..and if someone ate our nuts...why..I would be really upset too!!!!!

I would have a meeting with the parents of all of the children involved and all of the children involved in this locust raiding type of food situation. For the Christmas caper, would have charged them for the ingredients, plus I would charge them for the cost of having to go out and get premade goodies from a bakery if there was no time to replace the goodies. There would be some kind of restitution made if possible. And a family meeting needing to be had with the child that let those children come in and eat all that food. How old was the child that did that? Boy, and the bigger issue is if he knew and understood that food was special but wanted to be accepted so much that he would let other children come in and eat the special food...big red flag there that there could be some serious underlying issues with that child regarding peer pressure. The other issue being what kind of kids come in and eat up all of a families christmas goodies?

I would be meeting the parents of all my children's friends and not hanging out with kids like that. I would charge them, and probably if there were any other issues, not let my children play with them.

I would just say...the one kid that raided our fridge w/o asking. My own children don't like that kid. My kids like to eat and know if someone eats their food they don't get any.


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## Bestbirths (Jan 18, 2003)

I have shared my apples joyfully and willingly with mdc mamas who have come over though and their children or other homeschoolers when hosting an event. Just to show you all..the lurve I have for yall here. I would share my apples with any of you ladies or any of your children and I am sure...you would appreciate it. Just a few times..not a regular occurance...ok...







: In that situation I do go back to the store and buy more apples, but it is a big deal, like an honor if you will, to be offered an apple in our house.

OK...now I just feel all weird


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## ewe+lamb (Jul 20, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Bestbirths* 
I would have a meeting with the parents of all of the children involved and all of the children involved in this locust raiding type of food situation. For the Christmas caper, would have charged them for the ingredients, plus I would charge them for the cost of having to go out and get premade goodies from a bakery if there was no time to replace the goodies. There would be some kind of restitution made if possible. And a family meeting needing to be had with the child that let those children come in and eat all that food. How old was the child that did that? Boy, and the bigger issue is if he knew and understood that food was special but wanted to be accepted so much that he would let other children come in and eat the special food...big red flag there that there could be some serious underlying issues with that child regarding peer pressure. The other issue being what kind of kids come in and eat up all of a families christmas goodies?

I would be meeting the parents of all my children's friends and not hanging out with kids like that. I would charge them, and probably if there were any other issues, not let my children play with them.

My poor nephew!! He's such a sweet heart but a bit of a loner at school, which on the outside doesn't seem to bother him, but at some point it MUST. I think that the lad involved teases and bullies him a little at school, dn sort of mentioned it the last time I was there visiting.

Anyway the main boy involved is never friends with dn at school, but is always asking dn to go outside and play on the bikes/climbing frame etc, he is locked out of his home from the end of school (4pm when the bus drops them off) until his parents get home anytime between 6 and 7.30 pm







he's always asking to come into the house now and uses my sister abit like a babysitting service (well his parents do, but never ask, of course!!), in fact once his parents decided to go out to the pub one sunday lunch and left their son locked out of their house, when my sister was with her children walking down the road because they had a playdate at another neighbours house, the mother asked dn what her son was doing and who was looking after him, it's really a case of neglect







. Just a bit more detail my sister and her dh have a bit of a problem with these folks as neighbours, they once came into her garden when the family were out and cut down their hedge and were 'terribly offended' that sis called the police on them!!! Thank goodness we don't have a garden i guess there must be some good to living in a flat!

I genuinely think that dn thought he was being nice asking the kids in but never imagined for a moment that they would take everything, poor soul! He's 9.

They have had a family meeting and dn expressed how sorry he was about what happened, and agrees with my sis and everyone else because dn2 was very cross that 'they took everything and we had nothing!' , and that the boys are never to come into the house unless in an absolute emergency. As for the boy, they live in a tiny village, so calling in social services etc would be really difficult, but several people have been talking about it recently, especially in the cold winter months.







We'll see what happens.

Anyway I'd love to come and have an apple with you - but we're miles away in France!! If you're ever across here I'll taking you apple picking and cider tasting!! Haha.


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## Bestbirths (Jan 18, 2003)

ah apple picking and cider tasting in France sounds so fun! Maybe we could get some free healthcare while we were there.

If it was me, and your nephew was my child, that neighborhood child would not be allowed in our home even in emergencies, and our child would not be allowed to play with the child or have any contact with the child. Helping neglected children is not the job of a 9 year old child who is prone to being bullied and has trouble with peer pressure, no good can come of the situation at all. One reason why we wouldn't take foster children in that are older than our youngest is because of this same issue. We wouldn't take in a neglected child older than our youngest because many of our own children are struggling with peer pressure and you don't teach them how to do that by throwing them to the wolves. A child that is so out of control that he is locked out of his own house does not belong in yours, unless you have the training and the time to devote to it and know what you're getting into and have no children that that child can harm. my .2 cents.

In america with the economy tanking we are probably going to be seeing more and more people not feeding their children and just sending them out to locustly roam the neighborhood. In this case, I am the food police. I don't allow that at all, and we draw a pretty straight line in the sand that food is taken when only when offered or permission is given. It's very offensive when someone crosses that line, and a sign of a much deeper disrespect if that line is crossed, for us anyway.


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## Bestbirths (Jan 18, 2003)

Quote:

Just a bit more detail my sister and her dh have a bit of a problem with these folks as neighbours, they once came into her garden when the family were out and cut down their hedge and were 'terribly offended' that sis called the police on them!!!
combine all this with them being next door neighbors, cutting down a hedge of theirs without asking...I would move because of neighbors like that! Oh...I would have called the police and gotten them to pay for the hedge and the cookies. Definately I wouldn't feel safe letting my kids run and play outside unsupervised with a neighborhood kid like that. Depending on the situation, it might be easier to move. Reminds me of the website I heard about called horrible neighbors dot com where you list your horrible neighbors online and commisserate. I'll bet they have some ideas for dealing with neighbors like that


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