# What would you do different next pregnancy?



## christinespurlock (Oct 10, 2006)

So I'm starting to think about the possible future. And I want to get pregnant again. It's human nature to think about what you'd change. For me, I wouldn't tell everyone (and I live in a small town) at 7 weeks along. I'd tell a few close friends and wait until I'm busting out of my cloths to let the world know. Sad to say but I'd also probably want an early ultrasound too. And I would mark up my calender the minute I see 2 blue lines. I think I'd take it day by day.


----------



## sewinmama (May 3, 2004)

Um, I guess I'd go back to the pregnancy factory (our OB dept is a bit impersonal but I was treated by two very nice ones during our recent loss, and a third delivered Claire because he happened to be on call was really good too). I opted for family practice because I thought I could have another blissfully boring pregnancy. I'm bummed. I like that doc too, but I think he missed a huge call with this one. I know he couldn't have predicted an abruption but a "this could possibly happen" would have been better than a blanket "go home and take it easy".

I'd tell my sister sooner: She found out I was pregnant when my mom called her to tell her that the baby had died. She made it to the hospital to be there for this birth like she was for Claire's. She didn't even act mad that I hadn't gotten around to telling her (I Love you Donna!)

I read all of the gloom and doom books about things that could go wrong in pregnancy for my first, and decided not to torture myself this time. I guess I would research specific symptoms or groups of symptoms so I could ask more questions.

I guess that's it, besides hoping for a live and healthy birth (but that goes without saying doesn't it?)

Hugs


----------



## Ambrose (Apr 20, 2004)

- I would have looked into other medications that would be safer for pregnancy than what I was on (as we have determined I do have to take meds even if preggo)

- I would have not worked 12 hour overnights requiring coffee and large quantities of caffeine about once a month.

- I would have accepted the pregnancy and been ok with it and not beating myself up over the financial strain of a healthy baby would be- and then stressing about the financial strain a medically dependent child would be.

- I would have read books to my belly more, like I did with DD.

- I would have talked to my belly and listened to soothing music every night after DD went to bed (just like I listened to music with her, and she still has it play for her every night in her room)

- I would have told some relatives sooner- rather than 36 weeks along when I went to visit them and then the next time they saw me I had his urn in the car on the way home from the cremation society.


----------



## Ambrose (Apr 20, 2004)

But above all I would have said I love you more often


----------



## Snowdrift (Oct 15, 2005)

*


----------



## maisiedotes (Jan 2, 2005)

I would not be so scared to call my midwife if I was concerned about the baby. She yelled at me once for calling her in a panic and I will never hesitate again, nor would I hesitate to "fire" my doctor if it ever happened again (the yelling).


----------



## christinespurlock (Oct 10, 2006)

no_r would I hesitate to "fire" my doctor if it ever happened again (the yelling).[/QUOTE]_

I think that is huge. So often we put up with mistreatment from our doctors that we would never let anyone else speak to us that way!!!!
Here's to empowerment!


----------



## mercyrus (May 16, 2006)

I'm actually going through this now. I'm 32 weeks pregnant - I decided to do everthing different this time around. With the last pregnancy (I had a full term stillbirth) - I didn't ask enough questions - and when the baby flipped and then flipped back head down and the doctor wanted to do a c-section anyway and I said no, because I wanted to hold my baby immediately - the next week she was gone. I regret not making a bigger deal of all of my "little" aches and pains and being to afraid to say things.

I have had, and i'm not ashamed to say it - at least 5 ultrasounds during this pregnancy and I have one more scheduled next week. I don't give a flip about what someone says about the amount of ultrasounds i've had- in that moment, in that instant, I know for a fact that my boy is still with me and that he's fine. I'd walk through the nine levels of Hell to make sure that he comes into this world alive, even if it was the very last thing that I ever did. I wish I had more ultrasounds the last time around.

It's absolutely unacceptable to have a medical professional scold or yell at you for being concerned for your unborn child. Trust me, there are plenty of healthcare professionals that would love the honor of assisting you in bringing your baby into the world.

All in all, you do whatever you feel is right for your child to ensure that they are ok. Regardless of what anyone thinks of says - as mothers, we do what we gotta do.


----------



## NullSet (Dec 19, 2004)

During my first pregnancy I was very active and ate really well. My second pregnancy (m/c at 11 weeks) I let myself go a little. This past pregnancy (she was stillborn) I let myself go again, no exercising and ate a lot of junk food when I felt like it. I gained a lot of weight, which it seems was a lot of water weight because most dropped off within 2 weeks of Calliope's birth. Next time I will be very strict with myself like the first time, 30 min of exercise a day and healthy eating all the way.

I will also do my absolute best to make sure that I have no emotional stress at all. Nothing that will make me angry or get upset. I'm not sure this will be possible since I will probably be worried sick about the baby but I will try.


----------



## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

I wouldn't do anything differently.

I don't like it, but I'm at peace with it.

-Angela


----------



## momz3 (May 1, 2006)

First, I will be sure to do less complaining of pregnancy woes (backaches, headaches, etc), enjoy my bump, SPORT my bump, take pregnancy pics after I get a henna belly..maybe a belly cast, take polaroids every 2-4 weeks of my pregnancy., keep a pregnancy journal, go to the er EVERY time I feel any abnormal ache, do fetal kick counts, and I might even rent a fetal doppler. I won't worry so much about clothing and nursery stuff as I did before, just want my baby to be ok

we are hoping for a baby, even though we know that we will be a nervous wreck until he/she is safe in our arms.


----------



## NatureMama3 (Feb 25, 2004)

Unfortunately, next time I will have to get serial betas and u/s done early on to make sure of the pregnancy's location.







There will be no more quiet waiting and hoping with just DH and I in the know.

Other than that (which will also involve a family doc or OB for the first 7-8 weeks instead of unassisted the whole way!) I won't do anything different. We couldn't be more careful if we had to.


----------



## gerlassie (May 26, 2007)

I'm not sure I would do anything differently. After my m/c last year, I pretty much realized that whatever will happen will happen. Can I be more proactive about aches, pains and those just not so right feelings...absoultely! I never hesitate to call my Midwife with a question or concern and she graciously and patiently helps me. If something bad is going to happen then, I just want to prepare myself.

Kim ( Daniel 6 and David 2 )


----------



## Whittliz (Oct 5, 2006)

-I will wait to tell family about the pregnancy (12 weeks at least) & allow us some time with our secret

-I will not ignore my body's signals

-I will not let myself eat junk food because I don't feel well

-And the most important for me, I will devote myself to prayer and spiritual growth

Thankfully, I'm pretty at peace with the situation & these things are areas that I need to work on ALL the time.


----------



## Snowdrift (Oct 15, 2005)

*


----------



## NatureMama3 (Feb 25, 2004)

have you had any testing? There may be something you can do prior to pregnancy that may help prevent the losses.


----------



## rach03 (Dec 30, 2006)

Next time I'm going to tell my family right away, and hopefully their prayers and good thoughts will help us out!

I waited until after the first ultrasound this last time, we saw the heartbeat and everything looked great. Sent out fun announcements...not knowing that the baby had passed away just a day or two after the ultrasound. Didn't do us any good to wait.

And speaking of that, I'm a little scared to get another transvaginal ultrasound next time...it was just kind of weird to me the baby looked so healthy and strong, and then a day or two later died.


----------



## roslyn (Aug 23, 2006)

I won't wait either. We didn't tell anyone until I was 4 months along, then she died at 5 months. Waiting didn't help. I want everyone to know so they can pray for us.


----------



## Sam05 (Jun 3, 2005)

I think I'll tell people earlier next time. We found out we lost the baby at 15 weeks so, of course, everyone knew I was pregnant even though we didn't announce until 11 weeks. My family and friends were amazing. The one positive I can take from losing the baby is that I now know just how wonderful a support system I have. I know I'm going to be a nervous wreck when I'm pregnant again and I hope to be able to lean on these same people again, just with a happier outcome.


----------



## Cherry Alive (Mar 11, 2007)

I will have a doctor/midwife I actually *trust* lined up (I'm sick of "firing" my doctors







), and see him/her BEFORE I get pregnant. I will make sure my body is in excellent shape--inside and out. I have permanently quit caffiene and nutrasweet (not an easy feat--I used to drink 3-6 cans of Diet Coke a day). I have taken up running again as a lifestyle. I take vitamins, eat produce every day, and I am trying to completely give up refined sugar...but that's not easy (I have a HUGE sweet tooth).

One thing I hope not to change is to enjoy TTC. I don't ever want it to feel like a huge pressure to be pregnant...but it may be harder not to feel like that this time around.


----------



## Gray's Mommy (Jul 8, 2005)

We went in for an early u/s at 8 weeks after my miscarriage. Everything else was the same though.


----------



## Baby Makes 4 (Feb 18, 2005)

I will be on blood thinners for my next pregnancy. I had no idea that my losses were due to a clotting disorder until it was too late.

I will also not be using a midwife. I loved my midwives and my homebirth but I am high risk now so the obstetrician/hospital scenario will be a new experience for me.


----------



## mf_colon (Oct 6, 2006)

IF I get pregnant again, I would listen more to the signals my body was giving me during labor, I would stay on my feet and MOVE- when my labor stalled movement was the key.


----------



## christinespurlock (Oct 10, 2006)

[Q_UOTE=Baby Makes 4;8738848]I will be on blood thinners for my next pregnancy. I had no idea that my losses were due to a clotting disorder until it was too late._

Did you have any synptoms you had this clotting disorder? My MD asked me just yesterday if I wanted to test for this. Just really don't feel like being tested for anything right now.
Christine


----------



## tripleblessed (Mar 21, 2007)

I too just found out I am protein s deficient - which they believe may have caused my m/c and want me on blood thiners (heparin) my next pregnancy. I just wish there was as way to know for sure..I really don't like the idea of a daily drug injected for 9 months..ya know! I just don't understand how I didn't m/c any of my boys and now...grrr...just frustrated i guess with the whole situation.


----------



## Baby Makes 4 (Feb 18, 2005)

Quote:

Did you have any synptoms you had this clotting disorder? My MD asked me just yesterday if I wanted to test for this. Just really don't feel like being tested for anything right now.
Christine
No symptoms other than the miscarriages. It's just a blood test and it is something that would be important to know since it has implications other than pregnancy loss. Clotting disorders can cause strokes as well.

The blood thinner doesn't have to be injected heparin. I am waiting on the results of my latest test to decide whether I will be on heparin or just aspirin. My OB is leaning towards just aspirin.


----------



## lolalapcat (Sep 7, 2006)

Christine, my own MD has a clotting disorder. Her only symptoms were 2 very difficult pregnancies and a m/c. She had another baby while on the blood thinners.

I'm the scary extreme of what I would do differently. Every test possible, multiple procedures and surgeries. My current doc thinks that endometriosis and a uterine infection are the probable cause of my m/c's, along with some thyroid dysfunction and hormone dysfunction. I'm covering every base possible.

Thank heavens I found a doctor who was willing to look for a cause. There's nothing worse than knowing something is wrong and having doctors tell you everything is normal.


----------



## christinespurlock (Oct 10, 2006)

I guess I'll get the test and go from there.

Keri, I'm so sorry about all your complications. I know it's a weird point where you want to find something wrong with you. Cause you just know it's gotta be more than chance..


----------



## Baby Makes 4 (Feb 18, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *christinespurlock* 
I know it's a weird point where you want to find something wrong with you. Cause you just know it's gotta be more than chance..

So true! I am praying that my most recent set of blood clotting tests prove conclusively that we have a clotting problem that can be treated. Most people would be praying for a negative test but I just want to find the problem already.


----------



## lolalapcat (Sep 7, 2006)

Christine, thanks.

I have been on the slippery slope, where I wanted to find out more, but everything was coming up normal, so I switched docs and he has a very rigorous protocol for testing. Where do you stop?

At least he has found things that can cause m/c, and can be corrected.

Babymakes4, I cried the day my genetic testing came back normal. I wanted a really good reason to stop this madness. And then I cried when my DH's genetic testing came back normal. That RE was out of things to test. She had no advice for us. None.

It took several months before I could call my current clinic, and even then I cried after my first couple of appointments. Nothing about this process is easy. But at this point I'm glad I have persisted, as I have genuine hope, founded on reason.

No matter what you do, proceed with testing or decide against it, we are all here to listen. Hang in there, everyone.


----------

