# If your child is too old to play with toys...



## becoming (Apr 11, 2003)

What do they DO all day?!

We're in a serious rut here. If our oldest DS (who turns 8 tomorrow) isn't playing a video game, playing on the computer, or watching TV, he is laying around complaining about how bored he is. He really doesn't have any hobbies other than video games. He hates playing outside by himself, and my youngest has reactive airway disease and can't spend much time outside in the cold, so right now I can't be outside for any significant period of time with DS1. Unfortunately, he doesn't enjoy reading, either, despite my encouraging him to read often.

So tell me... what do your older kids do inside the house?


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## jjawm (Jun 17, 2007)

My oldest dss reads and draws, or works on his computer stop-motion movies. My 10 year old dss plays games, makes art projects,sets up model sets, plays with his 3 year old sister, plays with the neighbor kids, plays with the cat and dog, helps me make cookies... we limit screen time here to 1 hour a day, and it's sort of forced them to be creative with what they do. I haven't heard them say they're bored in ages.


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## sewchris2642 (Feb 28, 2009)

Dylan (age 11) builds with Legos and Bionicles, reads, practices the Legend of the 5 Rings card game, goes for a walk around the neighborhood, reenacts in the back yard (he's really big on history), plays with his nephews and nieces, helps with the babies, does his school work (he is homeschooled), and writes his fantasy story.


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

At that age, they just played outside with the neighbors. They mostly played street games, or built things in the backyard. She had a "fort" area on the side of the house, and spent a lot of time over there.

Also, at eight, she still played with toys. But, being a girl, she liked horses, polly pockets, or littlest pet shop, and could spend hours playing by herself.

We also didn't have any video games at that time. (This was a long time ago)

Our seasons are opposite of yours. It's just now getting cool enough to play outside. But, in the summer you have to stay inside. So, If I can remember, she and her friends played in the house a lot until it got dark. They LOVED LOVED LOVED Harry Potter Uno. That game kept them busy for an entire summer.

In the summer, she had a big table out in the garage with woodworking tools that she could go out and build, sand, or paint whatever she wanted. Again, she'd have friends over to play, and they'd spend hours out there hammering and sanding. (I didn't let them cut) She also had a wood burning tool out there that she could use. She mostly used that to destroy her table. But, she never hurt herself or anybody else. Just burned her name into the table several times.

She had nerf guns. (we had a two story that was open to the bottom floor) and she and the neighbors would run all over the house shooting each other. When I moved several years later, I found about 20 nerf darts and several marshmallows (apparently the nerf gun can shoot mini marshmallows)


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## becoming (Apr 11, 2003)

Neighbor kids would be awesome. We don't have any neighbors.


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## shanniesue2 (Jul 4, 2007)

What about some kind of project? model building (rockets, planes, cars, trains, etc), Lego sets, scouting merit badges if he's involved in something like that, cooking if he enjoys that, art of some sort, a puzzle,

Or riding a bike, learning to roller blade, playing some kind of sport with friends, board/card games, fishing at a local duck pond, collecting something, reading a book, maybe you could get him a magazine subscription, ummmm... can't think of anything else at the moment

I think the best thing would be some kind of project or collection because it would seem "baby-ish" or get him involved in some kind of extracurricular activity--something that he would need to work on outside of official meeting times (i.e. scouting/campfire, music lessons, sport, 4-h, dance, etc.)


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## fruitfulmomma (Jun 8, 2002)

My son likes to build things, invent stuff, draw, look at books with lots of instructive pictures, etc...

Depending on your financial situation there are tons of kits out there that kids can use to learn scientific and invention type stuff. Here is a couple of places that might be useful...
http://www.sciencekits.com/index.htm
http://www.thamesandkosmos.com

There is a book series called "Sneaky Uses for Everyday Things" by Cy Tymony that looks really cool.

If he is interested in fiber arts, places like Magic Cabin http://www.magiccabin.com/welcome.asp have kits for that. Or you can google 'Waldorf toys' and see numerous great smaller companies that sell these types of things.

We also like to use audio books which is a great way to introduce them to literature when they are reluctant or non-readers.


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## Katsmamajama (Jun 24, 2009)

My 9 year old DD, if she's not doing the video game/tv thing, is outside riding her bike/playing, helping me with chores/cleaning her room, writing letters to friends, or researching Pokemon. Occasionally I can get her to read a book to kill time.


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## NellieKatz (Jun 19, 2009)

Fizzy science kits! Modeling clay. Cooking.

Those are the first things that popped into my head. Mine doesn't read yet so he can't just go follow a recipe but there are plenty of cookbooks for kids, and if they are making their own treats, I imagine the motivation would be there. 

Seriously though....we'd be lost without modeling clay.

But the key may lie in undoing something that has been done by video games and TV. We've always limited TV time, preferring mostly tapes anyway, and steered away from kids' TV programming in general. And NO video games. So those habits haven't been formed. As a result (that, and our general lack of money for fancy toys) has necessitated being very creative.

But all is not lost. I'm sure they can learn to be creative if they don't have those things to fall back on. The other day I did catch my rapidly-changing son saying "I'm bored, I want to watch that tape again" ('I'm bored' is a new phrase for him) to which I said, if I see you watching the TV or tapes to handle your boredom, you can bet we will watch less of those things, not more. Now go find something to do."


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## mommariffic (Mar 18, 2009)

My DD is two, but I can remember being that age...

What about a pet? I know that some parents are anti, but having a pet may give him something to do hobby wise. Maybe something small and simple - a reptile, fish, or even something larger like a dog? Or what about doing seeing eye training, which he can get involved in by taking the dog out, teaching it, attending classes etc?

Other ideas:
Board games

DIY kits

Art projects

Putting together some elaborate Lego construction?


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## Mirzam (Sep 9, 2002)

My 9 yo is currently up in his room with his Legos. This morning he spent a little time on Club Penguin, and then played with his 12 yo sister who is now out at a climbing competition. She also painted his face with some neon face paints, which has since been scrubbed clean!

A great deal of his time is spent kicking a soccer ball, or riding his bike. He does like watching the Science Channel or Discovery Channel too.


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## savithny (Oct 23, 2005)

Define "too old to play with toys?"

My 9.5 year old loves legos and all building toys. He still plays with his Galactic Heroes Star Wars figures, as well as all manner of lego minifigs taht came with his lego sets.

Outside, he's got ropes and sticks and boards.

He plays lightsaber duels alone or with friends.

We somewhat limit, but not strictly, screen time, but that doesn't seem to have kept him from liking toys. He alternates between TV, computer, Wii, and real-life toys pretty easily. He's also been on a huge reading kick lately.


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## MamaChicken (Aug 21, 2006)

Definately the LEGOs and models, and that was the age I started teaching DS to cook. He ws responsible for one meal per week (usually Saturday breakfast).


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## Alyantavid (Sep 10, 2004)

My 7.5 year old does still play with toys, but he also spends lots of time drawing, doing "projects" with cardboard boxes, makes books, paints, plays outside, or building houses out of chairs and blankets or boxes or whatever he can find.


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## 4evermom (Feb 3, 2005)

My 8yo ds is very into legos. Dh buys him cool parts from ebay. There is also the pick-a-brick section of lego.com where you can buy interesting pieces. So we have bins of those, plus ds enjoys building and collecting the sets. He doesn't take them apart so the bin of loose pieces is key for keeping him occupied, allowing him to design his own things. I figure he'll stay interested for quite a few more years because we haven't even gotten into any of the power function pieces. Plus there 's the Mindstorm stuff for older kids. He sometimes takes our old Hi8 video camera and makes simple lego stop motion videos.

Ds also loves science kits. We have snap circuits which get pulled out from time to time. I take him to the park once a week to meet friends and run/hike/play. He likes to have a friend over and have nerf gun fights, building forts in the process. His play with friends also includes a lot of spy themes. He loves the spy gear toys and we have gotten him real, but inexpensive, binoculars and walkie-talkies. Oh, he also enjoys r/c vehicles. He'll build obstacle courses for cars. We have a Wowee brand Dragonfly which has been a huge hit with at the park.


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## sunnmama (Jul 3, 2003)

My 8 yo won't play with toys alone, but will play with toys with her 2 yo brother. She actually plays with her brother a lot.

She jams out to music in her room.
She likes to draw and write stories and poems.
She does active things, like jumping rope (in the house....she won't go outside alone).
She likes to play in the kitchen. She has an easy-bake oven, and likes that she can use that with minimal supervision.
She loves books, particularly the "ology" books (dragonology, wizardology, etc). She also loves books like "The Daring book for Girls" (they also have "the Dangerous Book for BOys"). Those last 2 books are filled with cool stuff for kids this age to do, alone or with friends. That kind of book, that she can just open up to any page and find something cool, often interests her more than a novel. At that age, I LOVED reading the encyclopedia.


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## WC_hapamama (Sep 19, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *savithny* 
Define "too old to play with toys?"

Ditto this. Heck, I played with Barbies until I went to college. How I played with them changed as a pre-teen, but I never really stopped playing with them until I moved into the dorms. I went from pretend play with Barbies, to setting up "homes" for them, making them clothes and furniture and stuff like that.

Even at college, I had puzzles, nerf guns, and one of those little indoor basketball hoops.

I have 12 and 10 year old sons that still play with Legos, Bakugan and Transformers, as well as collectible card games, and I'm not going to discourage it.


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## jeca (Sep 21, 2002)

Have you tried "project" type toys. DS is twelve and still loves to build things. Pirate ships, those kinex toys, robotic things to put together. Anything tinker type that you have to make and imagine with. He has a fair amount of homework and still plays outside a lot so the bored thing doesn't come often but those are a few "toy type" things he likes to play with.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

I've often wished I'd done more to learn crafting skills as a kid. I have friends whose LOs are doing stuff like knitting sweaters and using woodburning kits.


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## becoming (Apr 11, 2003)

These are all really good suggestions. I'm going to make sure to get a lot of project and creative type things for him for Christmas this year to help combat the boredom.

To clarify, instead of "too old for toys," I should have said, "doesn't like toys anymore." He doesn't play with toys. He actually hasn't been into toys for like two years now. He loves technology. I played with baby dolls literally until I was 14 years old, so I'm the last person to think an 8-year-old is too old for toys! I should have worded that differently.


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## Ofwait (Feb 16, 2008)

Too old?? Or just for the types of toys that you have?

We have legos, bike riding, clay, drawing, etc.... and when in doubt if they complain about being "bored" there is always laundry to fold, or their room to clean, they generally find something to do.


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## zinemama (Feb 2, 2002)

It sounds to me as though he is not going to enjoy reading or doing much of anything else without differnt encouragement on your part, which would mean taking away or really restricting the video games etc.

I wouldn't say this if you seemed perfectly fine with him doing nothing but video games, TV and computers. Many MDC mamas are comfortable letting their kids self-regulate with media and the kids seem to do a variety of activities. But your boy isn't like this, you don't seem happy about the situation, and he's only eight - plenty of time to get in a new mindset. You need to step up and take over, I think. Without his electronics he will come up with something to do.


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## jeca (Sep 21, 2002)

I forgot to add. http://www.mindwareonline.com has some great thinking type toys.


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## ollyoxenfree (Jun 11, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *becoming* 
These are all really good suggestions. I'm going to make sure to get a lot of project and creative type things for him for Christmas this year to help combat the boredom.

To clarify, instead of "too old for toys," I should have said, "doesn't like toys anymore." He doesn't play with toys. He actually hasn't been into toys for like two years now. He loves technology. I played with baby dolls literally until I was 14 years old, so I'm the last person to think an 8-year-old is too old for toys! I should have worded that differently.

Glad you clarified, because I know a lot of adults who still love to play with toys









Have you tried Warhammer figures? At age 8, ds liked lego, k'nex, traded pokemon cards and played with Beyblades (dating myself a little here, lol), and liked science kits. That was also the age he started collecting Warhammer figures. Some parents dislike them due to associations with violence, but they aren't any more violent than Star Wars or Lord of the Rings movies, and considerably less so than many video games. The kids build them and paint them, so there is an element of crafting.

Ds also spent much time playing music. Now, in his teens, it's his usual recreational activity.


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## K-Mom3 (Apr 27, 2009)

There is an awesome book called "Unplugged Play" by Bobbi Connor that is filled with ideas. I was mainly looking for ideas for toddlers and preschoolers but I think it says up to age 10? It is definitely worth checking to see if your library has it. The ideas are divided by age and then into categories like solo play, one on one, small groups, birthday parties, etc.

You don't have neighbors you said, but does ds have friends? I don't know if you're homeschooling....but my ds is so much happier if he can invite a friend over/play at a friend's house at least once a week. He meets kids at school or other places and I meet the parents and make arrangements to get them together to play. Does your son have friends over sometimes?


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## RiverSky (Jun 26, 2005)

My 10 year old boy (almost 11 year old) plays with:
action figures
matchbox cars
lego
magnetix
K'nex
board games
toy swords, light sabres, toy bow & arrow set (yikes!)
cards (building card houses, etc.)
he creates his own board games (drawing the sets, making up rules, etc.)
he practices his violin
listens to chapter books on CD
transformers
stuffed toys
our cats (hours of fun there, totally agree w/PP that pets are a good way for children to spend time)
bird watching
circuit board science sets
science experiments
scissors, colored paper, glue, sparkles, etc., to make collages and
3D art
paint and paintbrushes, especially on canvas

He also loves to play outside, imaginatively and with things like scooters,
and sports equipment, but that doesn't seem like it will be helpful to
you at this time.

What if you were to try to facilitate more playdates for him, at your house
or dropping him off at a friend's house?

What if you were to rent out a community center room (can be pretty
cheap) and invite children in the age ranges of both of your children
so that you can set up sports days or craft days in order to get your
kids' busy and active in an indoor setting, thereby tuckering them out more
for when they get home? My children love going to those types of events
as well as library offerings, etc.

My 10 year old son (and my 8 year old daughter) also LOVE being read to,
still, even though they can both read, so both my DH and myself each
usually have one chapter book that we are reading to the children, in
addition to whatever chapter book on CD we have going in the car at that
time.


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## Tangled Hill (Jun 6, 2008)

DS (11.5) loves reading and spends quite a bit of time doing that. Of course, he reads more than just novels and non-fiction; he also loves comics and comic strips, as well as comic-based non-fiction (like Horrible Histories/Science/Geography and the Cartoon History and Cartoon Guide books). He still plays with quite a few toys - action figures, Bionicles, Legos - that sort of thing. He also writes quite a lot - novels and short stories, mostly.

Hmm.... What else?

Oh, he spends TONS of time drawing. We have a large set of Prismacolor pencils that have been SO worth the money spent (even on sale, they were kinda pricey). He loves to go for walks with the dogs, and he enjoys being outside (though we have several not-so-nice neighborhood kids, so he's not outside as much as he'd like to be). He's very into role playing games now (like Dungeons and Dragons, but different systems - Savage Worlds is his current favorite), and he loves preparing games for his friends (he's usually the game master). He enjoys sorting through his card collections (Yu-Gi-Oh and the like). He likes listening to music on the radio and cds, and he spends time listening to books on tape/cd, as well. He plays board and card games with me. He spends a lot of time talking to me throughout the day, as well.

Okay, he's read this over, and he wants me to add that he enjoys cooking, and that every Monday, he spends several hours at a game group with his friends. Mostly, they just hang out and play games (roleplaying games and card games usually, but hand-held video games, too). He says he can't think of anything else, but wants to add that he loves this smiley:









We went through the same thing you're describing, and the only thing that changed our screen rut was to cut out screens almost entirely. I hate to admit it, but some kids are just sucked in by screens. DS was one of them. If he wasn't on the computer, he was talking about the computer or planning what he would do on the computer when he was able to get on again. ("That's true," he says.) He was grounded a while back, and cutting out screen time was terribly hard on him for a while. Pretty soon, though, he got used to it. Now, nearing the end of his grounding, he says that he's ready to cut out computer screen time for good (except for the occasional Wikipedia search or the like). TV was never really a problem for him, and the only game system we have is Nintendo DS, and that's never been a problem, either. But, the computer was his entire life for quite a while (sure, he learned quite a bit, but at a fairly steep price). Now that's he's escaped its clutches, he doesn't want to go back.

Here's how he says he's changed since giving up the computer:

Quote:

Well, I didn't really read before - at all. Now, I read all the time. I draw much more, and I'm much better at it than before (because of all the practice). Well, at least _I_ think I'm much more creative than before. Now, I'm doing much more fun, different stuff - trying out new things now that I'm not glued to the computer all day. I also take the dogs for walks much more often.
He says he wishes he had given up the computer when he was your son's age (or sooner), and he hopes your son "gets out of this rut very soon."

HTH and good luck!


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## becoming (Apr 11, 2003)

That was very helpful, Tangled Hill. DS does have a bit of addiction to the computer, I think, and is almost exactly how you're describing your son -- when he's not on the computer, he's talking about it, making plans for it, etc. I think we're going to have to do a major detox for him. I'm thinking 30 minutes on school days, maybe an hour on weekends. I was glad to hear your son's perspective on this.


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## JayGee (Oct 5, 2002)

My DS is the same age as yours, he'll be 8 on Friday! He's also one to get sucked into the computer if allowed. But then again, so am I







! I actually ended up disconnecting the mouse and giving it to my DH in the morning to keep ALL of us offline







. Some of the things he currently enjoys include, raking up giant leaf piles to ride his bike through in the back yard, matchbox cars, crafts, making "books" (usually books about cars cut out from magazines/catalogs), reading, building block houses, making forts out of sofa cushions with his sisters, kicking the soccer ball outside (we have a small soccer goal to practice shooting and he also likes to see how many times he can juggle the ball without it touching the ground), having friends over, playing piano, sometimes Lego. The first few days of detoxing from the computer were hard for him, but he came up with stuff to do eventually (as did I







!)


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## sewchris2642 (Feb 28, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WC_hapamama* 
Ditto this. Heck, I played with Barbies until I went to college. How I played with them changed as a pre-teen, but I never really stopped playing with them until I moved into the dorms. I went from pretend play with Barbies, to setting up "homes" for them, making them clothes and furniture and stuff like that.

Even at college, I had puzzles, nerf guns, and one of those little indoor basketball hoops.

I have 12 and 10 year old sons that still play with Legos, Bakugan and Transformers, as well as collectible card games, and I'm not going to discourage it.

I learned to sew by making clothes for Barbie. My first commercial pattern was Barbie clothes. I learned the fundamentals of pattern making and draping "playing" with my Barbie. Angela didn't give up her Legos until she left home at 23. Dylan inherited them. She still will spend time with Dylan building with the Legos when she comes home to visit. I still do jigsaw puzzles, sew doll clothes (now for grandchildren),go to the library, museums, etc. All the things that I did as a child. IMO, adults don't grow out of playing with toys; the toys just change (and get more expensive







.


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## sewchris2642 (Feb 28, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *becoming* 
These are all really good suggestions. I'm going to make sure to get a lot of project and creative type things for him for Christmas this year to help combat the boredom.

To clarify, instead of "too old for toys," I should have said, "doesn't like toys anymore." He doesn't play with toys. He actually hasn't been into toys for like two years now. He loves technology. I played with baby dolls literally until I was 14 years old, so I'm the last person to think an 8-year-old is too old for toys! I should have worded that differently.


Thanks for the clarification. That does make better sense. Just ignore the last bit in my last post.


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## sewchris2642 (Feb 28, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *becoming* 
That was very helpful, Tangled Hill. DS does have a bit of addiction to the computer, I think, and is almost exactly how you're describing your son -- when he's not on the computer, he's talking about it, making plans for it, etc. I think we're going to have to do a major detox for him. I'm thinking 30 minutes on school days, maybe an hour on weekends. I was glad to hear your son's perspective on this.











Or just guide him into a more constructive use of the computer. Dylan does spend a lot of time on the computer--on websites like Lego.com, discover channel, history channel, researching and looking up historical figures and events in history. He builds Lego sets on the computer. But then his brother-in-law does art and animation on the computer. And I research historical and ethnic clothing as well finding out where to buy supplies online. The computer is just a tool like any other. It's all in how it's used.


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