# opinions needed on sleep scheduling book by Rachel Waddilove



## Snapdragon (Aug 30, 2007)

Hi,
There is a book called "The Baby Book- How to enjoy year one" by Rachel Waddilove. she is a Nanny from England.

In the book she advocates starting the baby on a particular sleep schedule to get them used to it, right from nearly the beginning. I am wondering if anyone has read this book or tried her methods?

I am pregnant with #1 and thinking about some things I may try regarding this. I would like to-
1. see what happens and be surprised
2. co-sleep with the little baby bed that can clip on to our bed
3. Establish some sort of routine if I can from an early start.

I really liked this book. I am not into crying it out method or "sleep training" but am interested to see if anyone has read this book and tried her methods. I need to re read it but it is basically starting the baby young on a particular schedule and being consistent so that the baby learns the routine that the parent wants them to have. She says it helps to get them to sleep through the night earlier. I do like the idea of routine and some scheduling.
Thanks

I found a link to the author's website

http://www.rachelsbabies.co.uk/


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## KimPM (Nov 18, 2005)

I hadn't heard of her before, but from the website link you sent the testimonial indicates that she favors "controlled crying" (ie. some version of CIO). The same testimonial talks about the baby "settling herself" in about 20 minutes. Apparently the baby was sleeping somewhere else, as the mom in the testimonial stated that she didn't have to get out of bed to settle the baby.


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Sounds like rubbish to me.

-Angela


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## Snapdragon (Aug 30, 2007)

yeah- I guess essentially I am trying to figure out the balance between allowing a baby to settle themselves a bit versus never letting a baby cry at all when putting them to sleep. I know once I have an actual baby of my own I will have instincts that kick in and I will do what feels right. And I know I am inclined towards attachment parenting and co sleeping etcetera. But I am just wondering if there is a place within that to set some sort of schedule- and does that mean allowing the baby to cry at all by herself? And what do people think of that, of letting a baby cry at all if trying to put together a scheduled sleeping pattern.
I am just exploring right now and welcome opinions and personal experiences. What have people done successfully to have a good sleep routine with their babies? And what do people think of letting the baby cry sometimes? Just exploring here.


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

It is never okay to choose to not meet a baby's needs. A baby's wants ARE needs.

-Angela


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## Snapdragon (Aug 30, 2007)

"It is never okay to choose to not meet a baby's needs. A baby's wants ARE needs.

-Angela "

I wasn't trying to be controversial, really, or imply anything different than what you are saying. I was just trying to explore if anyone had had success using any kind of schedule with their baby while also meeting their baby's needs and co-sleeping.


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Lots of babies naturally fall into a schedule. The key is to look to your baby for the schedule while keeping only the loosest of expectations (mostly sleep at night...not wake up too early







)

Beyond that and IME you're setting yourself up for frustration. And I have had EASY babies that sleep at night.

-Angela


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## terrainthailand (Mar 31, 2008)

I was JUST commenting on this book in another thread, as a mommy from my playgroup gave it to me to read after I mentioned that my 6 month old has been waking hourly for the last three weeks. You've read it, so you know that it isn't really helpful to me, as she basically says that if your baby still isn't sleeping through the night at 6 months it is very difficult to change the pattern. That kind of annoyed me. Co-sleeping and nursing on demand seemed completely natural to me when my LO was born. This book gives me the impression that my mothering caused my LO's poor sleeping. So that also annoyed me. Also, the controlled "shouting" and "shout it out" I agree are nonsense. I'm not going to leave my baby to cry and it sounds like you aren't planning to either. Great!!

I do think her schedules could potentially be helpful, as long as you don't try to stick to them slavishly, but just use them as an idea of how to structure your day and, most importantly, follow your baby's cues. A lot of mommies don't have any schedule at all and just follow baby's cues moment to moment, I think that is great, but for me, having a loose schedule is helpful - and - for my baby at least - it seems to help her nap and sleep when she knows what is coming (keeping her that way, unfortunately, is another story). Anyway, overall, I didn't like the book much. Pretty mainstream, nothing novel. I highly recommend Dr. Sears book for guidance on the first year.

Good luck & congratulations, I hope yours sleeps better than mine!!









ETA: ITA with Angela, my DD did fall into a schedule all her own that was pretty consistent. I just took note of it and continued to follow it.


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## KimPM (Nov 18, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Katie34* 
yeah- I guess essentially I am trying to figure out the balance between allowing a baby to settle themselves a bit versus never letting a baby cry at all when putting them to sleep. I know once I have an actual baby of my own I will have instincts that kick in and I will do what feels right. And I know I am inclined towards attachment parenting and co sleeping etcetera. But I am just wondering if there is a place within that to set some sort of schedule- and does that mean allowing the baby to cry at all by herself? And what do people think of that, of letting a baby cry at all if trying to put together a scheduled sleeping pattern.
I am just exploring right now and welcome opinions and personal experiences. What have people done successfully to have a good sleep routine with their babies? And what do people think of letting the baby cry sometimes? Just exploring here.

...setting a schedule FOR the baby?...







: ...good luck if it can be done early on - in AP fashion. I think the whole idea of setting a schedule FOR the baby, especially early on, would be impossible without doing some kind of CIO.

CIO is letting baby cry by themselves. Sometimes, like us, you just have a baby that just cries and cries in your arms, no matter what you do. That's not CIO...that's having a high needs child.

Try reading Mary Sheedy Kurchinka's "Sleepless in America". She has some good thoughts in there about each baby's different personality. She indicates that with high-needs children, letting them cry only makes them MORE hysterical instead of settling them down. This is precisely like my DS, he is high-anxiety. He gets more upset the longer he cries (for any reason), and we do everything we can to settle him down quickly...even now at 3.5 years. We've never let him CIO. OTOH, I've heard that there are a few mamas who have to sit next to their child (not in another room) while they cry a minute or two and then immediately settle, because otherwise their child is stimulated by the extra touch and attention. (And it goes against every mama instinct that they have, but after a long time they have figured it out.) You won't know which type of child yours is right away, it will take time to figure it out and develop your action plan.

I would certainly not recommend doing any form of CIO, and especially not when the baby is very young. It "teaches" them nothing, except that nobody is coming to help them.

If you want another good book suggestion, try Elizabeth Pantley's "No Cry Sleep Solution". She has some ideas on developing a bedtime and a naptime routine. Perhaps that's what you're looking for, instead of putting the baby on a schedule.

These are good books to read now, before the baby comes. Maybe they will give you some good ideas to think on. It's hard to try and find the time to read these after the baby comes.


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## Super~Single~Mama (Sep 23, 2008)

I'm a FTM, and had some of the same thoughts you do right now OP before my little man was born. Then he came and I was content to just do what he wanted me to do.

I don't think that 'schedules' work for very young babies, but I do believe in 'routines'. For example, at night when we want to start going to sleep (at home, this doesn't work anywhere else and I don't know why) we give Lincoln a bath, and then we turn down the lights and nurse, and then we lay in bed and do quiet activities until he falls asleep. It's not much of a routine, and sometimes it takes 5minutes to get him down for the night, and sometimes it takes 2 hours - but he is much calmer when the lights are dimmed and we are being quiet in the bedroom than he is if we keep him out in the living room at night before bed. It's much easier to put him to sleep if he's been calm for a while.

I also agree with Alegna that babies will create their own schedule - just know that it will change! Lincoln's 'schedule' or routine sometimes changes every week. Sometimes it changes after 2 or 3 weeks, but it never lasts a month. Just as I figure out what it is, it changes. Oh well, we just keep trying to follow his cues.

Congrats on the new baby!


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## Snugglebugmom (Mar 17, 2008)

I firmly believe that schedules, any kind of schedules, for a newborn are dangerous. As a previous poster mentioned, a baby's wants are his needs. A newborn cannot manipulate his parents, and when they cry, they need you. Letting a baby cry it out is cruel and potentially harmful. (Even Dr. Richard Ferber, the quintessential controlled-crying advocate, states that in his book!)
A routine is a completely different matter, and something that works great for a lot of parents. But newborns don't have a steady routine. Their sleeping and eating patterns vary from day to day as their little bodies mature, and they need that time to develop. Putting a baby on a schedule and letting them cry in their crib is a sure fire way to prevent bonding and healthy attachment to their caretakers. This book, though probably written with the best of intentions, sounds like something I would want to steer clear of.


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## Snapdragon (Aug 30, 2007)

thanks everyone. I am only very newly pregnant with my first so I have a long time to think about all this, and as everyone mentioned, once I meet the baby things will become clearer. Thanks for opinions and at some points I will look into some of those book suggestions. I think, like many said, once the baby is here she or he will show me the right way to go more than a book.


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