# What is your oddest rule?



## Spirit Dancer (Dec 11, 2006)

A little while ago there was a thread about what rules people had for their houses. Some were really funny and odd. That got me thinking- What is your strangest household rule?

Mine is for my two year old. "No you may NOT sit on mommy's lap while she sits on the toilet to poop!" He tries to climb on my lap everytime and I just cannot hold him and poop at the same time.

So what is your oddest rule?
Let's hear 'em!


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## Collinsky (Jul 7, 2004)

LOL I think our strange rules would make me extremely unpopular.







Dh is an MMA fighter, and we engage in a lot of fight-play with the kids... and consequently we've got some UFC style rules in this house: "Get off your sister if she taps out!"

We don't have many rules, but *Tapping = Stop immediately* is pretty important.


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## JustVanessa (Sep 7, 2005)

Don't kiss the toilet.....this is one I have to enforce daily.


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## Llyra (Jan 16, 2005)

No putting your pillow on the babies' heads.


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## Spirit Dancer (Dec 11, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JustVanessa* 
Don't kiss the toilet.....this is one I have to enforce daily.

LAMOA!
Hilarious.

these are all good. Anyone else?


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

Well, a lot of people seem to think our No singing/whistling/humming/drumming at the table is a weird one.

There's also:

No braiding someone elses hair if they are unaware your doing it.

No painting/colouring on others without permission.

And of course

No teasing the sea monkeys (that one's for DH







)


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## elmh23 (Jul 1, 2004)

No rideing on anyone who doesn't consent. Dh and the kids always play "Horsie and Dragon" where dh pretends to be either a horse or dragon and the children are his riders. We made the above rule when ds's friend H was learning to crawl. Ds thought is was wonderful to try and get on H's back for a ride.


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## griffin2004 (Sep 25, 2003)

Don't let the dog lick you. We've all seen where doggie's mouth has been...


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## Collinsky (Jul 7, 2004)

Oh yeah, elmh22: When Ds2 started crawling, Ds1 was overjoyed that FINALLY the baby had a purpose. No riding the baby is a pretty common sense rule, IMO.


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## QueenOfThePride (May 26, 2005)

No, you can't arrest your brother.


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## mamaduck (Mar 6, 2002)

OMG! We have the same rule! DH wrestled in HS. He taught the kids that they can wrestle but have to respect either the word "stop" or "tap twice." That's so funny!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Collinsky* 
LOL I think our strange rules would make me extremely unpopular.







Dh is an MMA fighter, and we engage in a lot of fight-play with the kids... and consequently we've got some UFC style rules in this house: "Get off your sister if she taps out!"

We don't have many rules, but *Tapping = Stop immediately* is pretty important.


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## i*wish (May 4, 2004)

My odd rule is absolutely no. licking. me.
For some reason my dd discovered that this sends me up to the ceiling and it's now one of her favorite things to get my attention.....AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! I have goose pimples just typing this....


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## kungfu_barbi (Jun 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Spirit Dancer* 

So what is your oddest rule?
Let's hear 'em!


lift the seat when you stand to pee

peace


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## _betsy_ (Jun 29, 2004)

Don't kiss the cat's butt.

No riding the cat.

No tackling (a currently PG and rather wobbly) Mama from behind when she doesn't know you're going to do it!

The baby doll stroller is for the baby dolls, not you, not the cat(s), and no, Mama won't sit in it either. And wheels stay on the floor! (nothing like a 2 yo wildly waving a baby doll stroller in the air!)

You must wear something on your bum when sitting at the table to eat. (I may lift this one someday, but right now, she's potty learning, and I do NOT want my meals interrupted with cleaning up pee).

She's 2 and I'm due in Jan. I'm sure we'll have a whole new slew of rules then!


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## ktmama (Jan 21, 2004)

I'm totally there with the licking one....

AND

*Don't* even think about putting your feet on me.

Yes, you must wear undies at the table. No, you can't lay on the kitchen floor while I'm cooking. Please put your clothes in the hamper when you strip them off. Actually, I have TONS of rules....


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## Twwly (Jan 30, 2007)

No peeing on the cat.


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## NewMama2007 (Mar 4, 2007)

DD has a new habit of sticking her finger in things.

That has led to:

"please don't violate the dog, honey" (DH wasn't quick enough one day and she did end up..."anally exploring" (?) the dog. Dog was NOT happy. Mommy contemplated bleaching baby's hand. Decided that was a bad idea and spent 15 minutes scrubbing her right pointer finger. Tons of fun.)

and

"mommy can pick her own nose, thank you!" (her favorite thing to do while nursing now. But not with her right pointer finger. :shudder: )


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## Deer Hunter (Sep 26, 2008)

I have a real problem with germs known as germaphobia. I do not condone anything to go in the baby's mouth that should not be there. The only things that go into my child's mouth are things that are meant for that purpose, such as teething toys, an they must not touch the floor for any length of time.

Should this happen, I take a baby toothbrush, brush the child's teeth, and then I disinfect the toy. The child looses priveledges to that toy for putting it into his mouth for a time. I do this as soon as kids start putting things into their mouth, even at the age of six months. Taking the toy away is enough to send the message that that is not acceptable.

Edited to ad:

Teething toys are returned immediately after disinfecting both child's mouth and the toy. However, other toys not meant to be in the mouth are taken away. I though I should clarify that. The message that I want to send is that the floor is a filthy place, and things that go into the mouth won't touch it, and that toys that do not belong into the mouth will never go there.

To avoid this much of the time, I am all for a play yard--fencing that you can make as big as the entire room to keep the child safely contained, and then a sheet is down on the floor to shield them from the filth. This way, I don't have to worry about germs.

I sure some of you may find me strange. But that is okay.


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## shelley4 (Sep 10, 2003)

"no waking up your sister's imaginary babies! you know they need their sleep!"


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## TattooedMama (Aug 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *_betsy_* 
You must wear something on your bum when sitting at the table to eat. (I may lift this one someday, but right now, she's potty learning, and I do NOT want my meals interrupted with cleaning up pee).


We have this one too. No Naked Butts at the Table.







:


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## GooeyRN (Apr 24, 2006)

Do not lick me, and

Do not sniff my butt.


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## Fuamami (Mar 16, 2005)

"Please masturbate in the privacy of your bedroom."


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## Fyrestorm (Feb 14, 2006)

It's not my job to discipline your imaginary friends.


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## bscal (Feb 13, 2006)

LMAO!! These are great!

We have the No Naked Butts at the Table Rule too! (I've had to enforce that one a LOT lately, 3 yr old is potty learning and as soon as she's naked my almost 6 yr old gets naked too.)

We also have the following:
You may not bite or lick the dog.

Only kiss with your mouth CLOSED! (Nothing worse than being french kissed by a drooling 3 yr old.)

Do NOT put boogers on your sister or brother! (This statement is always followed by hand washing.)

You may only touch your privates in your bedroom. (DH "walked in" on my oldest exploring herself on our living room couch one day and was mortified.)

Do not touch babies that aren't ours without asking permission first! And then only touch their feet, not their faces or hands.

Beth


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

Waldorf PC, I'm wondering if you understand that at six months a baby doesn't have the reasoning skills to understand what your trying to teach. It's also important to note that at 6 months old a baby doesn't necessarily have the same idea of object perminece as an adult or older child. To them the toy is gone for good. Finally, at that age the most sensitive part of the body is the tongue and it's how they explore textures and such.

Yes, I'm a germaphobe too, but I wouldn't expect a 6 month old to understand that I don't like him/her to put toys in the mouth and why, or be able to connect toy in mouth = toy gone.


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## charmander (Dec 30, 2003)

For my 4 year old:

You cannot poop on the grass in the backyard.

(only on the patio







)


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## LaLaLaLa (Oct 29, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *shelley4* 
"no waking up your sister's imaginary babies! you know they need their sleep!"










For a long time we had to have a similar rule: "You may NOT pretend to drink your brother's pretend soup!" Almost always followed by our instructions: "Now you need to pretend to give him more soup. Right. NOW."

Only a four-year-old could have come up with such a ridiculously effective way to make her 2-year-old brother scream.


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## 34me (Oct 2, 2006)

Do not sit on your younger siblings head, it will not hatch


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## gaudynight (Sep 10, 2007)

Don't dress the cat in the baby's clothes.


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## Embee (May 3, 2002)

I am so loving this thread. Humor

Lately, DS has been well, penis oriented. So the latest ODD rules are:

When out in public:
_"Keep your hands where I can see 'em!"_ (delivered in mock police officer tone.)

or

_"DS, Stop using your penis as an air guitar!"_










The best to all!
Em


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## Aliviasmom (Jul 24, 2006)

Do. not. talk. to. me. when. I'm. pooping.







: This also means that I will not read to you or sing to you at that time. If you are going to be in the room with me (which I would prefer not), at least be QUIET!!!!

If your pretend babies throw up, it is YOUR responsibility to clean it up. And no, you do not need real water to clean up imaginary puke.

Imaginary animals ALSO do not eat real food.

No sticks in the house. Before coming inside, please throw them so your imaginary animals can fetch them.

I will not go back in the store or get you out of the car in order to get your imaginary friend. You must call for him/her to come out on their own.

Also, I'm sorry, but there is NOTHING I can do about the fact that your imaginary friends don't like you/won't cuddle with you. Even when you cry real tears. I'm sorry. *I* can cuddle you, but I can't force them to.


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## MadameXCupcake (Dec 14, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
Waldorf PC, I'm wondering if you understand that at six months a baby doesn't have the reasoning skills to understand what your trying to teach. It's also important to note that at 6 months old a baby doesn't necessarily have the same idea of object perminece as an adult or older child. To them the toy is gone for good. Finally, at that age the most sensitive part of the body is the tongue and it's how they explore textures and such.

Yes, I'm a germaphobe too, but I wouldn't expect a 6 month old to understand that I don't like him/her to put toys in the mouth and why, or be able to connect toy in mouth = toy gone.

I also think, maybe you should read the guidelines for Gentle Discipline. Advocating CIO in any situation is, I believe, prohibited.

You said that much better than I would have.


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## H & J's Mom (Jun 1, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
Well, a lot of people seem to think our No singing/whistling/humming/drumming at the table is a weird one.

Too funny. A friend and I were just talking about this recently, both of us grew up with this as a rule. I think it was a pretty popular one back in the day.

We've recently had to come up with a new rule for DS. No sticking strings up your nose.

This rule came after a month and a half of a weird (getting worse by the day) smell coming from his nose/mouth and a couple of trips to the Dr. ... who finally extraced a ball of rotten and decomposed blankie strings from his nose.


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## Think of Winter (Jun 10, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *34me* 
Do not sit on your younger siblings head, it will not hatch









:


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *H & J's Mom* 
Too funny. A friend and I were just talking about this recently, both of us grew up with this as a rule. I think it was a pretty popular one back in the day.

We've recently had to come up with a new rule for DS. No sticking strings up your nose.

This rule came after a month and a half of a weird (getting worse by the day) smell coming from his nose/mouth and a couple of trips to the Dr. ... who finally extraced a ball of rotten and decomposed blankie strings from his nose.

I think I would've gone with a don't stick ANYTHING up your nose rule.


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## Think of Winter (Jun 10, 2004)

I'm







at all the undies-at-the-table rules. We have that one here, too. In fact, I don't allow naked bottoms on any furniture. "You need a protective layer!" On the couch, on the spring horse, on the glider, on the bed. I also try to get them to wear undies (at least) when visiting neighbors.

Another one that my kids love to ignore, "Don't pee on your sister/brother." They looooove to pee in the tub. "Pee fountain!" they call it, and neither is bothered in the least by getting peed on, which is why I don't do much about it.

Hey, I'm modelling like heck around here...


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## Think of Winter (Jun 10, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NewMama2007* 
"please don't violate the dog, honey"









: You have one tolerant dog!


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## Think of Winter (Jun 10, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Waldorf PC* 
I have a real problem with germs known as germaphobia... The child looses priveledges to that toy for putting it into his mouth for a time.









I mean this gently, but you did post this on a gd board...have you thought about getting treatment for yourself? What your 6 mo old is doing is normal and healthy, and disciplining a child for exploring her environment in a developmentally appropriate way is not gd.


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## Lisa85 (May 22, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Think of Winter* 







I mean this gently, but you did post this on a gd board...have you thought about getting treatment for yourself? What your 6 mo old is doing is normal and healthy, and disciplining a child for exploring her environment in a developmentally appropriate way is not gd.










Agreed. That is not healthy at all for your dc OR you. Nothing personal against you, but I do believe you should look into help.

You have to draw the line somewhere of course (ex - no chewing on shoes, etc), but mouthing is how babies explore their world. Chewing on a few teething toys isn't going to cut it. Also, when you say disinfect - what are you using to disinfect? Chemicals are FAR worse than germs in most cases. I see that you're opposed to vaccines so I'm assuming you trust that the body knows what to do to protect itself when it comes to germs. They however DON'T know what to do with chemicals.


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## TinyMama (Sep 4, 2007)

No taking the Swiffer into stores that sell Swiffers.









My 16mo currently has a love affair with ours, and I'm sick of explaining to store clerks that we actually brought our own Swiffer into the store.


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## DoingDoing:Julie (May 8, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Waldorf PC* 
I have a real problem with germs known as germaphobia. I do not condone anything to go in the baby's mouth that should not be there. The only things that go into my child's mouth are things that are meant for that purpose, such as teething toys, an they must not touch the floor for any length of time.

Should this happen, I take a baby toothbrush, brush the child's teeth, and then I disinfect the toy. The child looses priveledges to that toy for putting it into his mouth for a time. I do this as soon as kids start putting things into their mouth, even at the age of six months. Taking the toy away is enough to send the message that that is not acceptable.

Edited to ad:

Teething toys are returned immediately after disinfecting both child's mouth and the toy. However, other toys not meant to be in the mouth are taken away. I though I should clarify that. The message that I want to send is that the floor is a filthy place, and things that go into the mouth won't touch it, and that toys that do not belong into the mouth will never go there.

To avoid this much of the time, I am all for a play yard--fencing that you can make as big as the entire room to keep the child safely contained, and then a sheet is down on the floor to shield them from the filth. This way, I don't have to worry about germs.

I sure some of you may find me strange. But that is okay.

Hmm . . . inless your wearing street shoes in the house, floors are pretty sanitary. Shampoo your carpets and keep all shoes outside. MY DH and I even give our feet a quick rinse when we've been out in sandals, or sweaty socks and then come inside.
Sounds like you are punishing your babe because of your own phobia.


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## *violet* (Mar 24, 2004)

You may not attempt to carry any of our pets (2 dogs and a cat). Trust me, this is necessary with three really obliging animals who will tolerate just about anything being carried by a 2 or 5 year old!


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## H & J's Mom (Jun 1, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
I think I would've gone with a don't stick ANYTHING up your nose rule.

Oddly enough it's just blanket strings that go up there.

He eats them as well ... yes we've had to pull them out of his butt!! We have a no eating blankie strings rule as well









His sis had the same kind of blankie and she would jam it into her eyes (to the point of her eyelids turning inside out sometimes) for comfort.

I don't know if it's something with the blanket or my kids &#8230;


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## aja-belly (Oct 7, 2004)

no pillows in the kitchen!

why this makes me crazy i do not know. my kids must pick up on that though cause they are always dragging pillows into the kitchen. blech.


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## H & J's Mom (Jun 1, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TinyMama* 
No taking the Swiffer into stores that sell Swiffers.









My 16mo currently has a love affair with ours, and I'm sick of explaining to store clerks that we actually brought our own Swiffer into the store.


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## straighthaircurly (Dec 17, 2005)

These are hilarious to read...

Recently we had to make the rule "no holding baby snapping turtle races in the porta-crib"









Yes, seriously...my son did this with some turtles we had rescued (and have since released thank goodness)


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## mamabearsoblessed (Jan 8, 2003)

'undies at the table' rule here too









our big one is 'be sure someone is ok before you laugh'. (eg: daddy flips of the back of his chair or Grandad trips trying the skip-it)









no naked butts on my pillows







:

no making your sibling measure your ginormous poop

no clubhouse in my linen closet, this makes me crazy, everything unfolded and thrown about when there are already forts *everywhere*!!!!!!!!!!!!

only the king size pillow gets ridden down the stairs, one kid per turn

no creatures left in the 'habitat' overnight

no licking the van windows

this thread rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Melanie_7773 (Mar 22, 2007)

No, my breasts are not yours, they are MINE. Please keep your hands out of my shirt.


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## tuppence (Feb 18, 2005)

This thread is hilarious.







:

I'm trying to think what ours are...

No jumping off the coffee table into someone's lap unless you're sure they're looking.

No throwing balls to/at someone unless you have their attention.


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## JamesMama (Jun 1, 2005)

No touching the dog's penis, I don't care if he 'likes it'

Thats our only 'weird one' the dog likes to be on his back and James has an obsession with his penis...it's disgusting.


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## tubulidentata2 (Aug 6, 2006)

No, I will not walk you down the street while you are wearing a dog collar and leash.


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## EnviroBecca (Jun 5, 2002)

No driving on the dining table. Also, no parking on the dining table. In fact, no vehicles on the dining table, no matter what they are doing!

Quote:

no naked butts on my pillows
We have that rule too. Also, no feet on my pillows.







:


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tubulidentata2* 
No, I will not walk you down the street while you are wearing a dog collar and leash.











LOVE IT!


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## Serrendipity (Apr 12, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Waldorf PC* 
I have a real problem with germs known as germaphobia. I do not condone anything to go in the baby's mouth that should not be there. The only things that go into my child's mouth are things that are meant for that purpose, such as teething toys, an they must not touch the floor for any length of time.

Should this happen, I take a baby toothbrush, brush the child's teeth, and then I disinfect the toy. The child looses priveledges to that toy for putting it into his mouth for a time. I do this as soon as kids start putting things into their mouth, even at the age of six months. Taking the toy away is enough to send the message that that is not acceptable. If the child screams, I let him. i walk away and let him get out his frustration. He'll learn that screaming is also not tollerated once he realizes he does not get an audience.

Edited to ad:

Teething toys are returned immediately after disinfecting both child's mouth and the toy. However, other toys not meant to be in the mouth are taken away. I though I should clarify that. The message that I want to send is that the floor is a filthy place, and things that go into the mouth won't touch it, and that toys that do not belong into the mouth will never go there.

To avoid this much of the time, I am all for a play yard--fencing that you can make as big as the entire room to keep the child safely contained, and then a sheet is down on the floor to shield them from the filth. This way, I don't have to worry about germs.

I sure some of you may find me strange. But that is okay.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
Waldorf PC, I'm wondering if you understand that at six months a baby doesn't have the reasoning skills to understand what your trying to teach. It's also important to note that at 6 months old a baby doesn't necessarily have the same idea of object perminece as an adult or older child. To them the toy is gone for good. Finally, at that age the most sensitive part of the body is the tongue and it's how they explore textures and such.

Yes, I'm a germaphobe too, but I wouldn't expect a 6 month old to understand that I don't like him/her to put toys in the mouth and why, or be able to connect toy in mouth = toy gone.

I also think, maybe you should read the guidelines for Gentle Discipline. Advocating CIO in any situation is, I believe, prohibited.









: I was going to post much the same thing. I am not at all sure how you "disinfect" a baby's mouth, but the very idea slightly disturbs me. I can't think of a single thing that effectively kills germs that is safe to touch the inside of a baby's mouth, even a little, in the context you are suggesting. (Also, you must logically _know_ it's futile and pointless anyways since you cannot possibly protect your child from all, or even _most_, germs, right?)

There are people who _call_ themselves "germaphobes" who are just a little icked out by them, who maybe clean more than someone who's not bothered at all... and then there are people who let their fears/obsessions actually dominate or interfere with their lives to the point that they should maybe seek some help in letting go a bit. As has already been suggested, perhaps you would consider talking to a counselor about your fears instead of resorting to CIO and withdrawal of love as punishment? I just don't think it's very "gentle" to let a 6 mo baby CIO (even if it's just for a few minutes) to teach a "lesson" that the baby is very developmentally unable to learn at that point.

As for my own strangest rule, that award might go to, "We do not _wear_ the cat on our heads. She is not a hat and she does not like it." Or maybe, "No telling your sister that her food is made of boogers. Her food is _not_ made of boogers. (But if it was, it's the same food as _yours_, and _you_ would be eating booger-food, too.)"









Serendipity


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## Blucactus (Nov 20, 2006)

No naked bum in the cupboards!

No naked bum on the brand new couch.










Can you tell we are potty learning over here?


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## rere (Apr 21, 2005)

I guess if I had a "no naked butt at the table" rule I wouldn't need the "no playing with your labia while your eating" rule.

Then there is the "nothing other than your own fingers in your body holes" rule.And please wash your fingers (with soap)if they've been in one of your holes.


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## Scribe (Feb 12, 2007)

This thread has me rolling on the floor. Seriously.

No kidlets at my house, but we do have an odd rule: white towels for people, colored towels for dogs. We even have a sign.


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## ShadowLark (Aug 8, 2008)

Hmm... no playing with mommy's belly button while you nurse. And no twiddling - MAN, that feels weird!
And that reminds me, I need a nursing necklace. She is BORED with my hands!

And no knocking over the furniture, for my two year old.

Yeah, we're pretty boring around here. Unless no feet on the table counts?


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## kananaskismama (Apr 16, 2008)

some of our house rules are:

wear clothes if you go outside

absolutely no naked bums on the carpet, mommy and daddy's bed, or at the dinner table

the world is not a potty - use the potty

if you don't like your food, keep it on your plate - stop giving your bread crusts, cast offs and partially chewed vegetables to your brother (even though he eats them) or to the cat (even though she eats them).


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## JamesMama (Jun 1, 2005)

New one...

I cannot decide if it should be a 'No going potty outside' rule or at the very least "If you must potty outside let Mama know before you go outside so I don't have heart failure"

We live on a BUSY highway, do not have a fenced in yard, and there are wild horses 50 yards from my front door...thankfully I heard the caretaker of the horses say "You have to go pee that bad? Does your mom know you're outside" a few seconds before I panicked.


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## VOBetz (Mar 10, 2007)

You may not touch the cats butt.

Its not such a problem anymore, now that we are over the intense potty learning stage - but - you may not touch your sister with your penis.


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## _betsy_ (Jun 29, 2004)

Don't drink the tub water!

(I have started to take a sippy of water into the bathroom with us at bathtime so I can stem the ingestion of tub water. Which she likes to pee in, thankyouverymuch.)


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## rere (Apr 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *_betsy_* 
Don't drink the tub water!

(I have started to take a sippy of water into the bathroom with us at bathtime so I can stem the ingestion of tub water. Which she likes to pee in, thankyouverymuch.)

Ha!We have this rule too but it's called "don't drink the dirty butt water".


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## Serrendipity (Apr 12, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rere* 
Ha!We have this rule too but it's called "don't drink the dirty butt water".

OMG! I thought we were the only ones to call bath water dirty butt water!







We have that rule, too, I just didn't think it was weird enough to mention compared to wearing the cat on their heads!

Serendipity


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## Spirit Dancer (Dec 11, 2006)

All these are so hilarious!


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

No putting the frankenbaby in other peoples beds when they are sleeping. It scares the crap outta them when they wake up at 3 am staring it in the eye.

That one was created this morning after I nearly had a heart attack at 3 in the morning because DD did that to me.

Another recent addition to our rule list:

If Skippy can't do it, neither can you.

This one came about because DH found The 213 things Skippy is no longer allowed to do in the US Army list on the internet and decided that letting a sock puppet take over his chores was a great way to get out of them. (Among a few others)

Yes, adults have rules too


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## Katwoman (Apr 15, 2004)

We have the undies at the table rule as well. (But mostly because I don't clean the chairs often and they're gross.)

"No, you may not check my butt for paper." She likes to clench her butt when I'm wiping so now she thinks toilet paper sticks in everyone's butt.







:

Only food bigger than my thumb goes into plastic bags for the girls to run around with and eat out of. My youngest likes to shove food up her nose, so now we have a minimum size so it won't fit up her nose. Strangely enough it's irritating to try and get stuff out of her nose while she's screaming "there's something up my nose, there's something up my nose" at the top of her lungs. Um ... yeah, you put it up there....







:


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## crazyrunningmama (Dec 16, 2006)

Mama wipes her own butt. Thanks anyway.


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## rere (Apr 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Serrendipity* 
OMG! I thought we were the only ones to call bath water dirty butt water!







We have that rule, too, I just didn't think it was weird enough to mention compared to wearing the cat on their heads!

Serendipity

So did I.









Yeah,and in our house the no cat on the head rule would have to be for the cat.He is constantly trying to lay on my daughter's head.Maybe your kids should come over and "try him on".


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## ShadowLark (Aug 8, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *_betsy_* 
Don't drink the tub water!

(I have started to take a sippy of water into the bathroom with us at bathtime so I can stem the ingestion of tub water. Which she likes to pee in, thankyouverymuch.)

Yeah, the sippy wouldn't have worked for me and my sister. I still remember the day we were having a good old time playing in and drinking the tub water, and then we were like "wait a sec - we peed in this water! EEW!!!!!".
The good news is, it hasn't killed anyone yet. Although now that I'm the mom - YUCK!


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## lil_miss_understood (Jul 19, 2006)

Last edited by Serrendipity : Today at 01:07 PM. Reason: i kant spel to gud sumtimes

Sometimes edit reasons really crack me up. You're so funny Serrendipity.

On topic, weird rules.. hmmm....
No putting the baby in the dryer even if he does think it's funny.


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## redhotmama (Nov 7, 2005)

Take off your shoes and socks when you pee in the grass like a bear.
No goosing mama when she bends over!
Smell your own vulva fingers, no one wants to smell yours








Please don't eat raw flour.
Please don't eat baking soda.
Please don't eat corn starch.
These foods are not powdered sugar.


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## frontstreetmama (Jun 5, 2007)

the 2 yo girl I babysit CONSTANTLY has her hands down her pants -- on her butt, not scratching or anything, that's just where she likes to rest her hand... so... if you put your hands down your pants, you need to wash them before doing anything else!

also, undies always... everywhere/anywhere... not cause I"m prudish, but becasue I know they don't always wipe too good -- yick!

cat food is not for children...

do NOT jump on people or expect people to catch you if they don't know you're coming!!!

*mommy is NOT, I repeat NOT a jungle gym...*


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## Collinsky (Jul 7, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redhotmama* 
Smell your own vulva fingers, no one wants to smell yours









I think I love you. I have had occasion to completely understand this rule.


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## Baby Makes 4 (Feb 18, 2005)

_For the 3 year old:_

Nudity is fine unless we are:

a) expecting company
b) going out in public
c) eating a meal together at the table

In these 3 circumstances one must at least put on underwear.

We don't talk about Mommy's vagina in public.

_For the 13 year old:_

If your little brother wants to give you an imaginary apple (pizza, glass of juice, balloon...), please take it so I don't have to listen to him cry.


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## ChetMC (Aug 27, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 









LOVE IT!

Yeah. This one is my favourite so far. I'm not done reading yet though.


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## ChetMC (Aug 27, 2005)

The ones we have that I haven't seen here yet :

"always hug from the front - hugs are from the front, attacks are from the back"

"if you answer the phone you must say something when you pick up, don't just breath into the receiver"

"never lock family members out of the house"


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## SheepNumber97245 (Apr 20, 2007)

i have them written out on the wall. haha

The Baby Rules

1. No eating cell phones or crayons

2. No poking the cat in the eye

3. No throwing blocks at the cat

4. No licking the carpet

5. No sitting on the cat while he's sleeping

6. No putting yogurt treats in my shoes

7. No painting the wall with your squash

8. *No stuffing food down the front of your diaper* (this is a common one)

9. No poking mommy in the nose while in the sling

10. No reaching down to touch the poo in the baby toilet


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## Onemagicmummy (Jul 27, 2007)

For DS1
please do not tap my boob, ther are only 2 people in the world who get to tought mummys boob and your nto one of them, thankyouverymuch

For DD1
i CAN NOT hear you when you whine please speak up.

For DS2
when your sibling is screaming blue murder os you are laying on them it mean get off NOW

No laying on the baby, she doesnt like it

for DD2, the computer mouse, as much as tis shiny and has a cool ight on the bottom, is not a toy especialy when i am actualy using it

you maybe one of the 2 people in the world who gets to touch my boobs, thast doesnt NOT give you permission to nip, twiddle, pinch and twist them, and you can not bite either, you bite, your done

to all of you
stop asking the same question over and over day after day after day please
Kiz


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## eggsandpancakes (Oct 16, 2007)

"if you want to poke eyeballs, you have your fingers and your eyeballs" came about after the two year old tried to get me to poke the 6 month old in the eye. . .
"feet are for walking, not brushing mommie's hair, eating with, cleaning brother's ears, or mixing cookie batter"
"we do not feed poopy diapers to the cat"


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## mama*pisces (Feb 17, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *frontstreetmama* 

*mommy is NOT, I repeat NOT a jungle gym...*

YEAH! And she's not a tackling post either.....yeesh.

Oh, and no teddy bears in the bath. Especially mama's special mama/baby bear that she's had since she was *five*.







:


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## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

You may not touch your little brother's penis, even if it IS little and cute as a button


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## Aubergine68 (Jan 25, 2008)

No yoga in the bathtub.


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## milkmommie (Apr 19, 2005)

no toys in your underpants


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## sewingmama (Mar 15, 2007)

Thank you, thank you all for this thread. It is the funniest thing I have read in ages. All of the ones about imaginary friends have me rolling on the floor, but the one about the Swiffer about did me in!


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## momm-i-o (Aug 20, 2008)

What a fun thread!
No sword fighting someone unless they have a sword too.
Mom is not base!
Don't breastfeed your brother.
Spit fights are not allowed in the car (or anywhere else for that matter)!
Keep your fingers out of other peoples' bottoms.
You can be a whale in the pool but not in the bathtub.
One I heard a friend of mine tell her kids while we were on the phone was "No karaoke while the baby is napping- followed by "I mean it"!


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## SquishyKitty (Jun 10, 2005)

No playing with your penis at the dinner table.


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## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SquishyKitty* 
No playing with your penis at the dinner table.









we have that one too


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## tabrizia (Oct 24, 2007)

Mama is not a ride toy.

Mama's head is not a bounce toy.

No bouncing on Mama's belly, yes it is nice, but your sibling is starting to get big enough to notice being bounced on.

No wearing doggie for meals

Nursing is fine, playing with mama's nipples is not.


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## Miss Chris (May 7, 2007)

This thread is such fun.

Here are our most important ones right now:

No somersaults on the bed
No feet in your food
Don't touch the dog's butt (what is the deal with the dog butts? apparently they're irresistible)

and again and again and again

No Drinking the Bath Water!

(sheesh, I'm glad to know we're not the only ones...)


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## juju's mom (Mar 30, 2005)

LOL! I love this thread

No drinking bathwater
NO licking my feet!
No chasing the cat
No tackling younger siblings

Many more but some have been mentioned. Gotta love kids!


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## Avarie (Sep 8, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Melanie_7773* 
No, my breasts are not yours, they are MINE. Please keep your hands out of my shirt.

OK - I stopped reading here because I had to reply. My 2 1/2 year old always says "I want MY nursies!" and gets very upset when I reply "They are Mommy's nursies, and I choose to share them with you and Colin."


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## _betsy_ (Jun 29, 2004)

I am so glad I'm not the only one telling my kid not to drink the bath water!


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## Deer Hunter (Sep 26, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamabearsoblessed* 
'undies at the table' rule here too









our big one is 'be sure someone is ok before you laugh'. (eg: daddy flips of the back of his chair or Grandad trips trying the skip-it)









no naked butts on my pillows







:

no making your sibling measure your ginormous poop

no clubhouse in my linen closet, this makes me crazy, everything unfolded and thrown about when there are already forts *everywhere*!!!!!!!!!!!!

only the king size pillow gets ridden down the stairs, one kid per turn

no creatures left in the 'habitat' overnight

no licking the van windows

this thread rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!










My motherlet us ride a crib matress down the stairs when we were children. My brother, sister, and I would sit on it together one behind the other and just fly down. It was great. Your post brought back that memory, and I thought I'd share. Thanks fr resurrecting one of the good childhood memories.


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## Deer Hunter (Sep 26, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eclipse* 
You may not touch your little brother's penis, even if it IS little and cute as a button










Yeah, it does seem that small children are curious about private parts. I know I was when I was a child. But, good rule though. I hope it works.


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## Deer Hunter (Sep 26, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *_betsy_* 
I am so glad I'm not the only one telling my kid not to drink the bath water!


The funny thing is that I can remember doing that at age two--I can remembr a lot from then. It was one of those toy bath buckets. I put some water in and tried to drink, and my mother snatched it from me and told me not to drink it. You are not alone, I was told not to drink bath water when i was a kid, too.


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## DesertMommy (Sep 12, 2004)

Oh... Waldorf PC!







: I'm not judging... But you might get something out of hearing from a mom with a little older child and his friends:

I have two friends whose children have OCD tendencies and symptoms and the mom's truly believe they "caused" it themselves. Although, I don't believe they caused it, they certainly didn't help by being horrific germaphobes when the DC's were little. My one friend's son is grossed out now by his own Legos. He's sure they are dirty and scrubs his hands repeatedly after playing (until they hurt him, poor guy) The mom "gets" that she spent his first 6 years constantly stressing over germs, telling him to put things down etc. She's really sorry she put so much energy and emphasis on this.

In my own experience, I was one of those (not very AP or NFL, at the time) moms who did everything "perfect". Changed ds's outfits at the first sign of drool, had a system for everything. Perfectly clean everything. Our baby gear looked brand new after our usage of it. Multiple baths and mini-baths/showers a day. I remember his first three years more as an assembly line of care, not really being spiritually attentive, does that make sense?? My son is still afraid to touch anything that might be messy (dough, finger paints etc.) or try anything new he's scared he won't get right the first time. I needed to relax, big time! If we have future DC's they will get the benefit of a non-perfect, not germaphobe mommy. It gets in the way of living in the moment. I wish I had a do-over.

I so agree with the below quote too! (consider reading books or reaching out to a parenting coach/class about typical behaviors and learning stages. Mouth exploration is critical to this age group. It might seem like its just a teething thing, but its not. Mouthing is a learning/stimulus thing most of all.)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Think of Winter* 







I mean this gently, but you did post this on a gd board...have you thought about getting treatment for yourself? What your 6 mo old is doing is normal and healthy, and disciplining a child for exploring her environment in a developmentally appropriate way is not gd.


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## eurobin (Aug 20, 2006)

how about: "Cookie Monster does not go in your vagina."

I was changing Anna into jammies. I took off her clothes and she grabbed at her crotch -- totally normal. We were in no rush so I told her to let me know when she was ready to get dressed. She grabbed a pacifier, starts rubbing it on her crotch. I said, "no... pacifiers go in your mouth or your hands, not in your vagina. Only hands go on your vagina. Don't put your toys there." But of course she's testing the limits. So she grabbed her stuffed Cookie Monster, puts his face into her crotch, and makes the cookie-eating-num-num-num sound.

A little piece of me died while trying to stiffle the laughter in order to keep a straight face and say that Cookie Monster also does not belong her in vagina, hands only, and let's get our jammies on. NOW.


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## akaisha (Apr 14, 2008)

can i just sneak in here to mention that in some places, south africa for one, "cookie" is slang for vulva.

i'm sorry i just about died laughing, that is awesome on so many levels.


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## DesertMommy (Sep 12, 2004)

Oh, and our weirdest rule: No group peeing on the tree







: with your neighborhood friends.


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## eurobin (Aug 20, 2006)

akaisha -- in the states too. Which is what made it a million times awesome!


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## JamesMama (Jun 1, 2005)

Am I the only one that just rolls my eyes when the boy drinks the bathwater? I mean I know his dirty butt and probably pee goes in it but 'eh...whatever doesn't kill ya huh? I figure I'm pretty sure I drank the bathwater and I lived to tell about it.

I guess on an 'ick' factor I'm too busy working on "You do NOT need to hold onto the rim of the toilet while you pee...especially in public restrooms *shudder*"


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## ABrez (Apr 4, 2007)

For my 13 year old... no saying "Nut Snack" he and his friends call each other this instead of the version with no letter N in the word snack.

For some reason this iritates the heck out of me, so he can't say Nut Snack in the house anymore.


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## mamabeca (Oct 3, 2004)

We have a one kid on the trampoline at a time rule, which we seem to be the only-est people on the planet to actually enforce. My issue is safety, and the kids do NOT get it. Every day I have to go out there and 'remind' them that 3 or 11 kids at a time on there is seriously dangerous. Everyone with a trampoline (or should I stay in this line of rule breaking and say tramp!) seems to not have a problem with all the fun games the kids can play together (including war, bounce attack, and a few other choice ones) aren't dangerous or ??? I dunno. But I keep reinforcing, and they keep trying to push the boundary...


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## Liliana (Jan 13, 2004)

Wash your face and hands after meals. I started getting picky about this one when my 4 year old was kissing the milk allergic baby while covered in yogurt. It has recently occurred to me that they should wash before meals too, but we're not very good at that.


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## momm-i-o (Aug 20, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamabeca* 
We have a one kid on the trampoline at a time rule, which we seem to be the only-est people on the planet to actually enforce. My issue is safety, and the kids do NOT get it. Every day I have to go out there and 'remind' them that 3 or 11 kids at a time on there is seriously dangerous. Everyone with a trampoline (or should I stay in this line of rule breaking and say tramp!) seems to not have a problem with all the fun games the kids can play together (including war, bounce attack, and a few other choice ones) aren't dangerous or ??? I dunno. But I keep reinforcing, and they keep trying to push the boundary...

We buried ours after our trampoline rule list got too long so now it is fairly safe. We now have an unspoken trampoline rule- 13 yr old show off neighbor boy no longer allowed to sit and have trampoline talk time discussions with younger children for fear they will learn something worse than spin the bottle (thankfully my 5yo was disgusted anyone would actually play a game like that)!


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

Ones I haven't seen:

When you build your train tracks through the kitchen, you may not put bridges or mountains in front of the fridge (it doesn't open then), and you may not put them between the stove and the sink. (Envision me, hot pot of spaghetti to drain, tripping on bridge. I was not amused!)

When you ride your bike down the hill, your feet must be on the pedals (if you have coaster brakes) and NOT on the cross-bar of the bike.


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## EarthMamaToBe (Feb 19, 2008)

Macaroni doe not go in your ears, no not your sisters ears either, no the cat does NOT want macaroni in her ears either.

Stop "blowing" at your big brother because you know he is afraid of the big bad wolf and you like to hear him scream... goes with c'mon she's only two how scary can she be?


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## AbbieB (Mar 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redhotmama* 
Take off your shoes and socks when you pee in the grass like a bear.
No goosing mama when she bends over!
Smell your own vulva fingers, no one wants to smell yours








Please don't eat raw flour.
Please don't eat baking soda.
Please don't eat corn starch.
These foods are not powdered sugar.











Does my daughter live with you?

I need to add, "Do not touch/poke/tickle your brother's penis. Yes, it's OK to look at it. Yes, it is wiggly and wrinkly and interesting but you still can not touch it."

And my favorite, "No wedgies." My daughter thinks it is hilarious to give herself a super wedgie and then get me to look at her butt.


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## tessa67 (Jul 27, 2007)

We do not drink from the dog's bowl.

And I know you have been drinking from the dog's bowl when there is water dripping off your chin.


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## akaisha (Apr 14, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eurobin* 
akaisha -- in the states too. Which is what made it a million times awesome!

really? didn't know that one. we don't use it in canada at all, which makes glad because...unpleasant! lol.


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## redhotmama (Nov 7, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AbbieB* 









And my favorite, "No wedgies." My daughter thinks it is hilarious to give herself a super wedgie and then get me to look at her butt.









My girls do this too! "Look at this wedge, mom!"


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## Deer Hunter (Sep 26, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamabeca* 
We have a one kid on the trampoline at a time rule, which we seem to be the only-est people on the planet to actually enforce. My issue is safety, and the kids do NOT get it. Every day I have to go out there and 'remind' them that 3 or 11 kids at a time on there is seriously dangerous. Everyone with a trampoline (or should I stay in this line of rule breaking and say tramp!) seems to not have a problem with all the fun games the kids can play together (including war, bounce attack, and a few other choice ones) aren't dangerous or ??? I dunno. But I keep reinforcing, and they keep trying to push the boundary...

Wow! I think you are the only one to enforce such a rule.

I can remember that when I was a child, about five or six of us were on there at a time. We played many fun games. None of us got hurt. We had loads of fun.

If you are worried about the kids getting hurt, perhaps, you could purchase one of those trampolines that have a net around it similar to what a moon bounce is set up like. This way, you won't have to worry, and the kids could play together.

If money is an issue, you could get a trampoline enclosure to put around your trampoline. Here are some websites that could help put you in the right direction:

www.jumpsport.com/safetynets.htm

www.jumpright.com/

www.sundancetrampolines.com/nets/

www.trampolinepartsandsupply.com/

We all have our little quirks, but we should not let them hinder our children from having fun.

My quirk is germs. But a few helpful suggestions given by some of the others here and by friends have helped me tremendously. Since children like to explore with their mouths--i could not bare to think of my children putting dirty things into their mouths--I've adapted things so that they **** can and explore, and so I'll freak out less. The sheet down on the floor is one strategy that I implemented. I already have a no shoes rule: but now, washing feet before entering is a must. On top of that, shampooing carpets weekly, as suggested will be implemented.

For those that questioned what I used to disinfect toys, I used baby or alcohol wipes for battery opperated toys, and I used anti-bacteria soap for those that could get wet, as i do not want to use anything too dangerous since it wil go into the mouth again anyway.

I hope I've helped. Keep me updated as to what you do.


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## mntnmom (Sep 21, 2006)

"no playing outside without pants or shorts"

Never thought I would HAVE to, but DS1 did it so much this summer we had to make it a "family rule"


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## Deer Hunter (Sep 26, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tessa67* 
We do not drink from the dog's bowl.

And I know you have been drinking from the dog's bowl when there is water dripping off your chin.


OOOO! Gross! But it is kinda funny, too.

Wouldn't the water taste nasty? I would not know, as i have never drink out of the bowl and don't make it a point to. I hope your little one listens to that rule, as I think one could get sick doing that.


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## lil_miss_understood (Jul 19, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tessa67* 
We do not drink from the dog's bowl.

And I know you have been drinking from the dog's bowl when there is water dripping off your chin.

My mom used to have a "We do not eat the cat's food" rule.
My brother was convinced it was a tasty snack.


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## lil_miss_understood (Jul 19, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Waldorf PC* 
Wow! I think you are the only one to enforce such a rule.

I can remember that when I was a child, about five or six of us were on there at a time. We played many fun games. None of us got hurt. We had loads of fun.

If you are worried about the kids getting hurt, perhaps, you could purchase one of those trampolines that have a net around it similar to what a moon bounce is set up like. This way, you won't have to worry, and the kids could play together.

Falling off the trampoline is not the only concern. Children falling on other children can be just as dangerous. I can't count how many friends I've had break arms and legs because a friend fell on them on the trampoline.


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## EnviroBecca (Jun 5, 2002)

Waldorf PC, consider hydrogen peroxide or white vinegar as disinfectants. They are especially effective if you use first one then the other, but either one alone kills most germs. Peroxide is safe as a mouthwash, vinegar is safe to drink (if you can stand it!), and both are inexpensive!


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## mary3mama (Apr 2, 2004)

O-M-G!
I needed to read something this hysterical.

DH and I frequently say things and then look at the other and say, "never would have imagined THAT would have come out of my mouth..."

Like:

~ no licking your sister
~ no, the dog won't poop if you squeeze him REALLY hard
~ my pillow is not your underwear

And my personal favorite: No, I won't make your little brother ride on top of the van to make room for all your imaginary friends to ride IN the van...they'll have to fly home and meet us there...

No wonder I feel so irrational sometimes...these are irrational creatures...


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Waldorf PC* 
Wow! I think you are the only one to enforce such a rule.

I can remember that when I was a child, about five or six of us were on there at a time. We played many fun games. None of us got hurt. We had loads of fun.

If you are worried about the kids getting hurt, perhaps, you could purchase one of those trampolines that have a net around it similar to what a moon bounce is set up like. This way, you won't have to worry, and the kids could play together.

And my mom rode with out a carseat as a baby and she never got hurt.

I've been on a lot of trampolines and the only game we were ever allowed to do with more than one person was for 2 people and one of us was sitting. We certainly weren't allowed to bounce about at random with more than one person on the trampoline.

Of course, those big circular trampolines with no marks freak me out. How are you supposed to have any idea of how much bounce you'll get when you land if you don't know where the center is?


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## Spirit Dancer (Dec 11, 2006)

These are all so funny. Thanks!


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## mama_ani (Aug 2, 2007)

"Keep your tongue in your mouth when you kiss your sister" and "Don't lick people without permission."

Those have to be the oddest rules I ever had to make.


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## 3lilmonsters (Feb 24, 2007)

Around here I am notorious for weird rules. Here are a few (with brief explanations):

1. Peeing on the floor will result in a time out.
This was a sign I had on my bathroom wall several years ago. I had a preschooler who would pee on the floor when unhappy with me







. The sign was a huge hit with all of our company.

2. We do not talk politics with anyone we do not know REALLY well. We do not tell other people how stupid they are when they disagree with us. And we do not plan ways for the republican party to take over the world.
My 8yo has recently become OBSESSED with politics. He has decided he is a republican and that Gov. Palin just totally kicks butt. It is incredibly weird - but hilarious to listen to him going on and on about tax increases (yk, cuz he's 8 and doesn't pay taxes!)

3. We do not lick the dog.
I'm working on the 6 month old getting this rule. At this time, we have not made much headway.

4. We do not negotiate with terrorists.
Whether we're talking tantruming toddlers or hormonal teenagers or anyone in between.

5. You may either tell people who ask you that you are homeschooled OR that you learnt nothing today, but please, do not tell them both.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *3lilmonsters* 
5. You may either tell people who ask you that you are homeschooled OR that you learnt nothing today, but please, do not tell them both.


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## avivaelona (Jun 24, 2005)

The sound of two children colliding midair on a trampoline is not a pleasant one and a boundry net will do nothing to prevent it.

Our rules:

1) No drooling on mommy on purpose, yes I know the cat does it but that doesn't mean you can.
2) If you want to pretend to be the cat pee-peeing on the floor, that is fine, but I will not pretend to clean up the pretend pee-pee.
3) No I will not be a hook to hang things from.
4) Do not squeeze mommy's nose or try to turn it.


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## mama_ani (Aug 2, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *3lilmonsters* 
5. You may either tell people who ask you that you are homeschooled OR that you learnt nothing today, but please, do not tell them both.









I told my three oldest we should implement that rule and my 12yo said "okay I'll always tell everyone I learned nothing!!"


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## 3lilmonsters (Feb 24, 2007)

Ah, kids







:


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## mumto2 (Apr 30, 2005)

No feeding my expressed breast milk to the cat - I don't care if he likes it - it's for the baby!







:


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## kayleesmom (Dec 16, 2004)

neat thread


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## Thandiwe (May 14, 2007)

1) Do not pee on your little brother or sister like you're a dog.
2) And do not "nurse" your baby-doll from your penis.

Seriously.

My three year old little boy has taken lately to coming up to his sister or brother and, half-joking (I think....I hope), gone to pull his penis out of his pants saying, "I pee on ___." And I caught him a little while back trying to "nurse" his baby-doll from his penis...apparently he began understanding that fluids feed his brother...and assumed since the only fluids his body makes would be urine that it's the same.

Gotta' love the age. And boys.







:


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## Deer Hunter (Sep 26, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DesertMommy* 
Oh... Waldorf PC!







: I'm not judging... But you might get something out of hearing from a mom with a little older child and his friends:

I have two friends whose children have OCD tendencies and symptoms and the mom's truly believe they "caused" it themselves. Although, I don't believe they caused it, they certainly didn't help by being horrific germaphobes when the DC's were little. My one friend's son is grossed out now by his own Legos. He's sure they are dirty and scrubs his hands repeatedly after playing (until they hurt him, poor guy) The mom "gets" that she spent his first 6 years constantly stressing over germs, telling him to put things down etc. She's really sorry she put so much energy and emphasis on this.

In my own experience, I was one of those (not very AP or NFL, at the time) moms who did everything "perfect". Changed ds's outfits at the first sign of drool, had a system for everything. Perfectly clean everything. Our baby gear looked brand new after our usage of it. Multiple baths and mini-baths/showers a day. I remember his first three years more as an assembly line of care, not really being spiritually attentive, does that make sense?? My son is still afraid to touch anything that might be messy (dough, finger paints etc.) or try anything new he's scared he won't get right the first time. I needed to relax, big time! If we have future DC's they will get the benefit of a non-perfect, not germaphobe mommy. It gets in the way of living in the moment. I wish I had a do-over.

I so agree with the below quote too! (consider reading books or reaching out to a parenting coach/class about typical behaviors and learning stages. Mouth exploration is critical to this age group. It might seem like its just a teething thing, but its not. Mouthing is a learning/stimulus thing most of all.)


I'm not sure where I got my germaphobe tendencies since either of my parents are not the neatest in the world. My entire immediate family isn't come to think of it. I would get upset when they left things around and the like. I was the odd ball out of the bunch. My germaphobia developed at a very early age but not sure what from.

I know that i took charge at the age of two. I taught myself to turn on my bath water, and the minute my diaper was dirty, I ripped it off and got into the tub. I did not even spend a minute in a wet or dirty diaper. When we were out, and a bath tub was not available, I'd scream and scream and scream until I was changed not caring about how inappropriate it was or if i was told to stop. I just did it more.

As a tot, i also freaked out if my hands were sticky, and if food was on my face or clothes. I'd lose it demanding a new outfit. My parents and other relatives knew very well that telling me that a change of clothes isn't necessary was very futile, so my demands were met. Also, taking three plus baths a day was the norm for me. My grandmother tried to tel me that I was not taking that many baths at her house. I rebelled and did the opposite telling her that I was not going to be a dirty stinky kid. My parents didn't even try to change my behavior. They let me do that,as they know it made me feel comfortable.

Still, i'm completely incontinent and depend on diapers twenty-four/seven, as i have no bladder control. (I always had problems all my life but they got worse as I grew older.) I change myself at the first drops of urine. That behavior has come with me into adulthood. And, I still bathe a lot but I don't always take three baths daily anymore. I've now dropped to two though sometimes I will take three.

At the ages of four and five, my brother was still in diapers but was mobile. I did not allow him on my bed if his diaper was poopy. Only i could be up on my bed in such a diaper because it was mine. Nobody else could though. If he did get up on my bed, I demanded that my sheets were changed. If I was told that it wasn't necessary, i'd rip them off and do it anyway. Thankfully, I'm not like THIS anymore But I felt this way as a small child. Wow! I look back and realize how bad I really was. A poopy diaper? Come on! i can't believe I actually felt like that. i guess I didn't know that because the diaper was poopy that it wouldn't effect my sheets, as the contents was in the diaper, not on the bed. The silly things kids do. If I cared about that now, we'd be in a world of trouble.

Now, into adulthood, i just don't allow people to sit or lay on my bed if they've not had a bath in the last day. Friends and family will tell you that my first question will be before having contact with my bed, "When was the last time you took a bath?" They know it is better to comply and answer the question. Also, there are no shoes allowed on my bed. There are actualy no shoes allowed to be worn in the house. And if someone ese lays their head on my pillowcase, that is changed immediately.


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## Deer Hunter (Sep 26, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
And my mom rode with out a carseat as a baby and she never got hurt.

I've been on a lot of trampolines and the only game we were ever allowed to do with more than one person was for 2 people and one of us was sitting. We certainly weren't allowed to bounce about at random with more than one person on the trampoline.

Of course, those big circular trampolines with no marks freak me out. How are you supposed to have any idea of how much bounce you'll get when you land if you don't know where the center is?


I'm completely blind and have been most of my life. Obviously, if ia'm not able to see, I'd not know where the marks were.







I did everything according to my senses. It was kinda funny, as I was able to avoid people if they were coming too close. I was never wrong on this. I always judged fine. Fortunately, I was fine. I never ever had a single problem. As a matter of fact, I never had a broken bone in my body at all during my life.


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## leighi123 (Nov 14, 2007)

'shirt off while eating'

Levi makes a huge mess even with a bib on, so its easier to have him eat half or all the way nakey and then put him right into the bath. He stained a bunch of shirts so now we just take them off for most meals! (when we go out to eat he wears one thats already ruined!)


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## MadameXCupcake (Dec 14, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Waldorf PC* 
Wow! I think you are the only one to enforce such a rule.

I can remember that when I was a child, about five or six of us were on there at a time. We played many fun games. None of us got hurt. We had loads of fun.

Playing on the trampoline was one of my favorite things growing up, we would all jump on it and see who could steal each others bounce!
I have no way to explain what that means but if you have ever jumped on a trampoline with people you know! xD

We did all sorts of stupid things on the trampoline you can practically ice skate if you put dish soap and water all over it.


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## leighi123 (Nov 14, 2007)

I thought of more...

no picking mommy's nose
no pinching daddy's nipples (or mommys, but daddy gets embarassed when Levi pinches him and signs 'milk' over and over!)

No drinking from or swimming in the dogs water bowl -
(sitting in it signing 'drink')

No giving the dogs your rubber ducks and then getting mad when they bite their heads off
(our friends dogs waiting for a duck)

no dogs in the bath -

no rocks in grammy's pool

No playing with peanut butter
or red food coloring (not sure where this even came from...not my cupboards!)

no mopping the carpet (Levi loves brooms and mops right now!)

For dh
Do not let Levi flood the back yard (aka giant dirt patch which turns into giant mud puddle) and do not let him run through the house afterwards. And if you do let him, YOU give him a bath and remop the floors, dont just tell me he made a mess!
Mud man


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## Deer Hunter (Sep 26, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MadameXCupcake* 
Playing on the trampoline was one of my favorite things growing up, we would all jump on it and see who could steal each others bounce!
I have no way to explain what that means but if you have ever jumped on a trampoline with people you know! xD

We did all sorts of stupid things on the trampoline you can practically ice skate if you put dish soap and water all over it.










Oh yeah, I definitely know what you mean. We did something similar to you. One thing my friend, her two sisters, my sister, and I used to do was put the sprinklers up under the trampoline so they squirt us while we were jumping. We just totally loved it.

To this day, I still love jumping on the trampoline--I still have that child in me. I just might try your suggestion with the dish soap. Ask anyone who knows me and they'll tell you that I love to do stupid and crazy things for fun. Thanks for your idea!







I may convince a few other friends, and siblings, to join in. I won't have to do too much convincing, as they probably will.


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## Deer Hunter (Sep 26, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *avivaelona* 
The sound of two children colliding midair on a trampoline is not a pleasant one and a boundry net will do nothing to prevent it.

Our rules:

1) No drooling on mommy on purpose, yes I know the cat does it but that doesn't mean you can.
2) If you want to pretend to be the cat pee-peeing on the floor, that is fine, but I will not pretend to clean up the pretend pee-pee.
3) No I will not be a hook to hang things from.
4) Do not squeeze mommy's nose or try to turn it.


My sister used to pretend to be the dog only that she'd poop and pee on the floor for real. I can't tell you how many times she took off her diaper to do this. All I know is that it grossed me out but is also kinda funny. I can remember her like it was yesterday down on all fours barking like a dog. She is now eighteen years old.


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## Britishmum (Dec 25, 2001)

You can only pee in the bath without admitting to it, if you're the last one in.


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## mamamelia (Apr 14, 2005)

my oddest rule is probably "put some undies on before you go outside in the front"

my kids are pretty much naked all day (i mean ALL day..) and the 4yo sometimes sleeps naked too. we're cool with it but omg would you please put some undies on when going out to the front??? i can't tell you how many times they've run out to the front driveway (we live in a villa and have a common driveway) and they start shreiking and squealing loudly as they run in circles fully naked... picture it... two little girls, fully naked, screeching like a pack of wild monkeys and running in circles while thier pregnant mother still dressed in her PJ's with stains on her shirt runs out and starts yelling to get back inside NOW! we must look like good candidates for jerry springer.


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## emptytank2000 (Jul 9, 2007)

We decided that we didn't like hearing the word fart coming from our 4yo DD, so she started calling them the "F-Word" (Do you see where this is heading?) We now call them hiney burps after MIL and FIL informed us that DD told them that "Mommy and Daddy do the f word all the time at home!" I didn't know whether to laugh or sink into the ground.

Our rule- do not call farts the f word. Call them hiney burps or toots but not the f word.


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## Fyrestorm (Feb 14, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *emptytank2000* 
Our rule- do not call farts the f word. Call them hiney burps or toots but not the f word.


DD first discovered farts in the bath tub. She said "look...I'm blowing bubbles out of my butt" We now call them butt bubbles!


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## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

Haven't read the thread but mine is *No clicking your tongue*. It drives me up the wall!!


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## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Fyrestorm* 
DD first discovered farts in the bath tub. She said "look...I'm blowing bubbles out of my butt" We now call them butt bubbles!
















:


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## emptytank2000 (Jul 9, 2007)

How cute! Kids crack me up turning the tub into a bubble fest.


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## oceanbaby (Nov 19, 2001)

If you want to help mommy cook, you can't be naked.

No naked butts during dinner.

Clothing must be worn when we have visitors. (Especially construction workers.)

No climbing on mommy's back while she's bent down trying to get something out of the cupboard.

Windows up on the freeway - this probably makes me sound uptight, but I cannot STAND loud wind blowing all around the car when I'm driving.


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## mistymama (Oct 12, 2004)

You must wear undies to help me cook .. ds is always naked and I sit him on the kitchen counter to help me cook. He must have undies on .. no nakey butts on my countertops.









We've got the feet one too!







Dh and I both find feet gross, and I can't stand to have a foot touch me. Ds likes to try and freak me out and rub his feet on me, so we have the rule NO touching me with your feet!


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## mistymama (Oct 12, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *emptytank2000* 
We decided that we didn't like hearing the word fart coming from our 4yo DD, so she started calling them the "F-Word" (Do you see where this is heading?) We now call them hiney burps after MIL and FIL informed us that DD told them that "Mommy and Daddy do the f word all the time at home!" I didn't know whether to laugh or sink into the ground.

Our rule- do not call farts the f word. Call them hiney burps or toots but not the f word.

So funny! I've always called ds "pooter" when he farts and the other day I called him "pooter polluter" and he thinks it's freakin' hilarious. He's been going around TRYING to fart so I will call him that.


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Waldorf PC* 
I know that i took charge at the age of two. I taught myself to turn on my bath water, and the minute my diaper was dirty, I ripped it off and got into the tub. I did not even spend a minute in a wet or dirty diaper. When we were out, and a bath tub was not available, I'd scream and scream and scream until I was changed not caring about how inappropriate it was or if i was told to stop. I just did it more.

As a tot, i also freaked out if my hands were sticky, and if food was on my face or clothes. I'd lose it demanding a new outfit. My parents and other relatives knew very well that telling me that a change of clothes isn't necessary was very futile, so my demands were met. Also, taking three plus baths a day was the norm for me. My grandmother tried to tel me that I was not taking that many baths at her house. I rebelled and did the opposite telling her that I was not going to be a dirty stinky kid. My parents didn't even try to change my behavior. They let me do that,as they know it made me feel comfortable.

Sorry derail the original thread, but I just had to post: Those sound a lot like SENSORY ISSUES. Sensory Processing Disorder (aka Sensory Integration Disorder) is a condition where the brain over/under responds to sensory input. So, for a child/adult with this, something sticky on their hands feels really awful. For my dh, wearing wool _hurts_ even if it's over another shirt. I can see how that could lead to germophobia, especially since sensory stuff often goes hand-in-hand with other issues: OCD and anxiety are two biggies, major medical issues are others, and autism spectrum issues are the last.

Waldorf PC: There's a DVD version of one of the major books about this, The Out of Sync Child by Carol Kranowitz

There's also a CD that I haven't heard, called: Making Sense of Sensory Integration, 2nd Edition (Audio CD) by Jane Koomar

I mention this only because sensory issues can run in families (I see them running down my mom's side and my dh's side of the family). Most adults with sensory issues have developed their own coping mechanisms, but if your child has it, Occupational Therapy can REALLY help. A LOT.


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

Oh and I just thought of another one:

The toilet scrub brush is NOT a teething toy.

That's too much, even for me!


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## pookel (May 6, 2006)

Only one person is allowed to scream at a time.

This means if the baby is screaming, the 3yo is reminded to _wait his turn_.


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## GooeyRN (Apr 24, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pookel* 
Only one person is allowed to scream at a time.

This means if the baby is screaming, the 3yo is reminded to _wait his turn_.

That is a GREAT rule. I think I will implement that STAT!


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## redpajama (Jan 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Twwly* 
No peeing on the cat.

Wait--why no peeing on the cat?


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## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

Don't torture the cats when you're naked. For obvious reasons.


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## CrimsonObsydian (Sep 28, 2008)

LOL these are too funny!

Our rules include-

Hands on your OWN penis!

DO NOT chew on the Cat.

The Litterbox is NOT an indoor sandbox.

You have to wear Underwear at the dinner table.

If you want to eat off the floor you have to clean it before and after. (my ds thinks hes a cat so he likes to eat off the floor at dinner and luch and drinks his milk off a plate







)


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## green_sturgeon (Feb 9, 2008)

Great thread!









A couple of mine:

*Never stand on anything with wheels.* I realize in a few years roller skates and skateboards will be the exception to this one, but for now, DS is two and too little for those. And we've had one head bonk and another near miss because he tried to stand on wheeled riding toys and DH's wheeled desk chair.

*Toothbrushes are only for brushing teeth.* This one is for DS and DH both. DS tries to clean the toilet/sink/shower with his or my toothbrush, but he also tries to brush his teeth with toothbrushes that DH has used for cleaning. So we have toothbrushes for teeth and small scrub-brushes for cleaning small areas.

Edited to add: I forgot one, probably the best one - *The pedestal sink is not for climbing.* (Even though you look adorable hanging from the sink bowl with your feet on the pedestal, looking upside down at me while I sit on the potty.)


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## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

Yesterday brought a new one for us- *No peeing in the dishwasher*


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## rere (Apr 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *magstphil* 
Yesterday brought a new one for us- *No peeing in the dishwasher*









WOW,and you have girls?I'm just trying to picture that...unless maybe...that's a house rule for your husband?


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## Deer Hunter (Sep 26, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rere* 







WOW,and you have girls?I'm just trying to picture that...unless maybe...that's a house rule for your husband?










It doesn't matter at all if the child is a girl or boy because when I was ten, I stood up and peed in the bathtub to show off in front of my brother and my friend. I did some of the darndest things when I was a kid.


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## rere (Apr 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Waldorf PC* 
It doesn't matter at all if the child is a girl or boy because when I was ten, I stood up and peed in the bathtub to show off in front of my brother and my friend. I did some of the darndest things when I was a kid.

Yeah,I used to stand on the toilette so I could pee like my brother but I'm not sure I could have made it into the dishwasher.I wasn't that good of a shot.


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## baileyann3 (May 12, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TinyMama* 
No taking the Swiffer into stores that sell Swiffers.









My 16mo currently has a love affair with ours, and I'm sick of explaining to store clerks that we actually brought our own Swiffer into the store.










this quote is from the beginning but thats the funniest thing ive heard all day.. i just laughed out loud and woke up the babe!


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## averysmomma05 (Feb 28, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *baileyann3* 
this quote is from the beginning but thats the funniest thing ive heard all day.. i just laughed out loud and woke up the babe!

That is really funny!


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## averysmomma05 (Feb 28, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Spirit Dancer* 
A little while ago there was a thread about what rules people had for their houses. Some were really funny and odd. That got me thinking- What is your strangest household rule?

Mine is for my two year old. "No you may NOT sit on mommy's lap while she sits on the toilet to poop!" He tries to climb on my lap everytime and I just cannot hold him and poop at the same time.

So what is your oddest rule?
Let's hear 'em!

My daughter does this too! I try to explain to her to let momma poop in peace lol


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## frontierpsych (Jun 11, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamabeca* 
We have a one kid on the trampoline at a time rule, which we seem to be the only-est people on the planet to actually enforce. My issue is safety, and the kids do NOT get it. Every day I have to go out there and 'remind' them that 3 or 11 kids at a time on there is seriously dangerous. Everyone with a trampoline (or should I stay in this line of rule breaking and say tramp!) seems to not have a problem with all the fun games the kids can play together (including war, bounce attack, and a few other choice ones) aren't dangerous or ??? I dunno. But I keep reinforcing, and they keep trying to push the boundary...

I'm glad you have this rule. I injured my back pretty badly when I was 10 and we had 5 people on the trampoline at once.


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## MrsAprilMay (Jul 7, 2007)

"No stickers on the car windows or my curio cabinet."

Everytime we go to the grocery store DD gets stickers from the cashier. For some reason these stickers have a very strong and hard to get off of glass adhesive.

"All lizards must brush teeth and get under their rock blanket for bed."

DD likes to pretend she's a lizard.


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## MrsAprilMay (Jul 7, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *magstphil* 
Yesterday brought a new one for us- *No peeing in the dishwasher*

Yeah, forgot the new "No peeing in the drums." rule.


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## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rere* 







WOW,and you have girls?I'm just trying to picture that...unless maybe...that's a house rule for your husband?



















My 2.5 yo and 17 month old like to climb up on the dishwasher door when it is open and my 17 month old is even brave enough to climb partially into it. Both of them also like to be naked. Put those together and we have pee and poop in the best of places.


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## rere (Apr 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *magstphil* 









My 2.5 yo and 17 month old like to climb up on the dishwasher door when it is open and my 17 month old is even brave enough to climb partially into it. Both of them also like to be naked. Put those together and we have pee and poop in the best of places.

Ahhhhhhh!


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## jecombs (Mar 6, 2008)

No putting yourself in the dryer!
Only trash goes in the garbage can - not your toys!


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## homebirthing (Nov 10, 2002)

No chickens on the hammock.


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## gilnikche (Nov 19, 2001)

Since we moved into our new house...

"No jumping off the loft. I don't care what you put under it to jump on."


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## NoliMum (Jan 18, 2007)

This is great. I can't sleep and I just spent like an hour reading this thread.









"If you are naked you must at least SIT on a diaper." We don't have to enforce this as much lately because she's getting better at holding it in when she's naked.

"Toys get seat belts too." (Avoiding possible projectiles in the event of a car wreck)

"If you really must watch Daddy pee, no hands in the pee stream!"


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## Neuromancer (Jan 15, 2008)

My favorite odd rule from my own childhood was "No singing at the dinner table."







I've been reading back through this topic and see I'm not alone.


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## mommy68 (Mar 13, 2006)

Mine isn't really odd and since my kids are all older (youngest is 6) I don't really have that many.

But our odd rule is no shoes past the front or back doors. They must remove shoes at the door.







My kids and I follow the rule but DH doesn't seem to like it - as he never follows it.







My 6 yr old even puts her barbie doll's shoes by the door, lol!


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## ~Stephanie~ (Oct 15, 2007)

A few of our stranger ones..

No eating out of the garbage can... My 18 month old thinks that the trash can is a great place to find a snack.







:

Only the baby can use the potty chair..Yuck!







:

You can only pee outside in the BACK yard.

No putting baby clothes on the cat and pushing her around in the stroller

"exploring yourself" should only be done in private

no farting on other people


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## Momohmy (Jan 31, 2007)

If you pee outside, backyard only.
Girls have to pee inside (that one is for the NEIGHBOR'S DAUGHTER)
You may only swear in the car when we don't have guests.


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## erinwestpoet (Aug 18, 2005)

Don't bite the couch


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## ChickityChinah (Jul 25, 2007)

"Do not pull on the doggie's penis. He is going to get mad at you!'


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