# How to explain menstruation to a toddler?



## fiddledebi (Nov 20, 2003)

Well, here's one where I'm a bit unsure!

I have my period right now and I use Insteads (menstrual softcups). They come in little purple packages. DD saw me carrying one to the bathroom and asked if it was a snack.







I said no, it was something grown up mommies use, but not little girls. She followed me into the bathroom and I distracted her while I put it in so that she could not see me putting something in my vagina (hopefully avoiding having to explain what is ok to put in a vagina and what is not...). However, I am dreading her being there when I remove it. How the heck do I explain this whole thing to my two and a half year old?

This somehow hasn't come up until now, but here we are. Anyone BTDT?


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## 2boysandadog (Aug 12, 2004)

I've had this happen a couple of times w/ my sons, except that I use pads (actually pads and tampons) so my oldest saw the blood and freaked out the first time. I just told him it's just something that Mommies do. It is blood, but it's special Mommy blood and it doesn't hurt or anything. He was fine after that. hth.


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## loving-my-babies (Apr 2, 2004)

Interesting thread. Dd asks me why I wear "diapers" once a month.. LOL


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## Colorful~Mama (Feb 20, 2003)

i guess it depends on the age of your child and stuff. My zoey is 4. she asked one day about the pad i was wearing, and the blood she saw. I explained it to her that grownup women make eggs and someday she will be a grownup woman and she will make eggs that could become babies if she and her husband decide they want to make a baby. Until she makes a baby the eggs have to come out since they're not being used and thats what a period is. The eggs and other stuff coming out since it won't be a baby.

she asked if it hurt and i told her no... tho big sister told her about stomache aches / cramps sometimes lol. Her big sister is 15

she doesn't come into the bathroom with us tho because of 'privacy' and that people like to have it when using the restroom , showering etc. I explained that sometimes its ok to join someone in the potty - if you ask permission and they say yes. But if they say no, they need some privacy that she needs to just wait .

She tells me sometimes that she 'doesn't need privacy today, please come into the potty with me" or sometimes she'll say that she 'needs some privacy mama' and i'll leave her in the potty with a book









she told gramma once ... "i can't go to the potty with mama this time. she nees her privacy so she can clean up the messy eggs since we're not having any more babies". LOLOL


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## Ellie'sMom (Aug 10, 2002)

My 2.5 year old coined the term "rotten pee-pee" to describe mentrual blood on my pad or in the toilet sometime before her second birthday.







Trying to give it a more positive spin, I explained that grownup women bleed sometimes and have to wear a pad. She didn't seem interested in more of an explanation than that. She gets really happy when she sees me wearing a pad though. I think it is enough like a diaper that she feels we have formed some sort of alliance!


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## Nurturing Mama (Nov 11, 2003)

Quote:

"rotten pee-pee"










Sounds like something my son would say.


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## chel (Jul 24, 2004)

I'm all for telling them young. When my dd was around 2 she saw me spotting and said I pooped. She just stared as I put in a tampon, like where did that thing go. She was never afraid and just kinda accepted that ladies bleed once a month. Now that she's 4 she knows all about eggs, wombs, etc. I also use the egg thing to talk about how she shouldn't smoke or use drugs as it will affect her eggs.


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## hypatia (Apr 29, 2002)

Wow, I can't imagine trying to explain menstruation to my 12 month old -- we're still working on what "hot" means.

I think the most important thing is that they know that even though blood is usually a sign you're hurt, but in this case, it's normal and you're safe. And then add more details as they can handle it.


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## mommyofshmoo (Oct 25, 2004)

So funny! I've wondered this myself.

It's easy when I wear pad, cuz I just tell her it's mommy's diaper, which she finds funny (she knows I'm kind've joking.) I don't think she realizes it's blood as my pads are red anyway.

The hard thing is the tampon issue. I hardly ever wear them, but she once saw me insert one in the bathroom and ever since I've had to de-program her from wanting to insert them in her "hoo-hoo" too. We went to the ER with a bug up her nose a few weeks ago and I'm really amazed she hasn't "lost" anything in her vagina yet. It seems her "hoo-hoo" fascination is calming down a bit, actually. There was a time when I feared she would hurt herself if left alone for too long with her electric toothbrush!

As for the period explanation- DD is 2.5 and doesn't understand the days of the week, much less the idea of a month, so that wouldn't help. I've explained that my hoo-hoo is "sick" which I guess is not a very positive spin, but I say it with a smile. Maybe I could say I'm "taking care of my" vagina instead.

Anyway, I'm just glad to read that other moms think about this issue too!


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## CindyC (Mar 22, 2002)

You know what? I didn't even try. DD is 2. I'll try to explain when she's 3 or something. She sees me using pads and tampons and wants to use them, too. I just say they are for grownups. I don't even think she knows what blood is.


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## mocha09 (Jul 6, 2003)

.


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## DesireeH (Mar 22, 2003)

I didnt even try to explain to my son either when he asked if "mama owies??" when he saw. He happened to follow me into the bathroom right when I was removing a tampon, oh yum. I told him it was not an owie. Then he said "mama gross." AHAHAHA When he is old enough to understand, I will explain it.


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## canadiangranola (Oct 1, 2004)

no advice, but a funny story...a friend of mone was thinking her 2 yr old ds was being unusually quiet, so she went looking for him. She found him in the bathroom, with pads stuch ALL OVER the walls, the sink, everywhere...with a big grin on his face saying "stickers mnama...i found stickers.









you could just tell her it's your sticker collection?


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## lovetomom (May 21, 2003)

my dd is 26 months and a couple of months ago she saw my pad and asked about it. i told her about our eggs and told her that my pad was the egg catcher. She thought that was so great and she often asks if she can see the eggs. She looks awe inspired peering down at the blood in my pad.


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## mystic~mama (Apr 27, 2004)

I alway explain to dd simply whats going on...last month, I told her the blood is mamas baby blanket that is in her tummy in case mama and dada make a baby...she has understands it on her own level and I always feel its important to explain things to them...I believe they understand much more than most people give them credit for


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## littleteapot (Sep 18, 2003)

I distinctly remember being a toddler and walking into the bathroom where my mother was standing in the shower, bleeding (she had endo, and massive fibroids. Her insanely unhealthy periods led to a hysterectomy.) and I was watching, absolutely horrified.
In my memory, I can see blood EVERYWHERE but I know that in reality it probably wasn't that bad. She didn't tell me what was wrong at the time, and just said, "It's okay, it's normal", which did NOT ease my mind at all. I thought she was going to die.

If she'd told me then what was going on I probably would have been fine with it. But she didn't, and that image has stuck in my mind forever!


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## FullMoonMommy (Aug 20, 2004)

My son calls it my "boo-boo" and never has hesitated to run for a bandaid for mommy. Since I think he probably won't grasp the truth right now I just go with the flow...hahaha no pun intended and let him think its a boo-boo. I show him my tampons and pads and tell him those are the bandaids and I let him know that it doesn't hurt and so forth. If he was a girl I probably would be trying to explain but I think when he is older I will. I think its easier for him to associate blood with boo-boos then with mommy creating eggs to make babies and I will eventually tell him when the right time comes.


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## XM (Apr 16, 2002)

LOL great thread!

Ezra was very concerned when my cycle came back, pointing at my pad asking the eternal question, "whassat?" I explained to him that it was good mama blood, and it means I can make a baby, but that there is no baby in me right now. He had a serious look on his face and then said, "Ohhh..."

Every month (heck, every time I go to the bathroom during my period) we have this little conversation that starts with "whassat?" and ends with a very thoughtful "ohhhh...".









I was unprepared the first time he asked about it, but I want him to know that I'm not hurt when I have my period so I didn't want him to think it was an 'owie'... my periods can be pretty heavy the first couple days and I don't want him thinking I'm dying lol! I also wanted him to know that it has to do with reproduction, in terms I'm hoping he can understand (18mo).

Its hard to know what to say and how much... and of course that changes every month as their comprehension grows...


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## bravofrenchie (Oct 15, 2004)

I remember a clip from "America's Funniest Home Videos" that was hilarious. It was Easter, and the woman holding the camera walked into their boy's bedroom. "Okay, are you guys ready for the easter egg hunt?..."







They had got into some large pads with wings, and had stuck them all over the bedroom window. They said they were "airplane stickers." :LOL


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## Ellien C (Aug 19, 2004)

I used cloth pads, which my DD (20 mos) adores. She's always getting them out of my underwear drawer. I let her have them for doll beds or whatever. When I need them, I just say that mommy needs them. When they are dirty, I say no, not that one, it's dirty. Let's get a new one. I do say they are "pads for mommy." Or, pads for mommy's underpants. She hasn't really needed more of an explanation than that.


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## kimkabob5 (Oct 25, 2002)

I told my children that every month Mommy's body makes a soft, comfy bed in case a new baby came, but that if there was no new baby, the bed came out with a little blood. They liked that explanation.


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## LongLiveLife (Nov 5, 2004)

:


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## LongLiveLife (Nov 5, 2004)

I didn't think I did a great job when this came up last year. My daughter had just turned 3 and was suddenly enamored with the idea of making babies... I didn't want to scare her away from the idea by introducing the less wonderful parts... so I got around it, somehow. Then I got pregnant, and I haven't had a period in a year. By the time I start mentruating again, she will definitley be able to understand that the blood doesn't mean pain/injury. There are a lot of great hints in this thread! Thanks!


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## bravofrenchie (Oct 15, 2004)

Sort-of off topic, but I just remembered:
My mother, aunt, and grandmother are not ones to tip-toe around the subject of menstration, genetalia, sex, ect. It was all discussed very matter-of-factly when I was growing up. When my cousin Melissa was little, she apparantly had some blood or other red-colored substance in her poop. (She wasn't in pain, and it didn't happen again, so we think it was just something she ate.) But she ran out of the bathroom and to my Grandmother, saying "Grandma! Grandma! I think I've caught my period!" :LOL


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## mystic~mama (Apr 27, 2004)

thats too cute!


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## OneCatholicMommy (Jan 21, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *canadiangranola*
no advice, but a funny story...a friend of mone was thinking her 2 yr old ds was being unusually quiet, so she went looking for him. She found him in the bathroom, with pads stuch ALL OVER the walls, the sink, everywhere...with a big grin on his face saying "stickers mnama...i found stickers.









you could just tell her it's your sticker collection?









LOL now there's an interesting scrapbook page....


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## charmarty (Jan 27, 2002)

chel, I am really interested in exactly what you said to your dc! My dds' are 4 now too and they are really paying attention now. But this mama has a hard time finding the right words......... I have such an issue with this because I can remember my own mom NEVER told me about this until the day I got my cycle for the first time. I called her crying my eyes out(in grade 6) and she came in to the bathroom, took one look, went to her room and came back with some pads, told me to put them in my undies(didn't even show me how) and went back to bed. I went to school that day, and was laughed at hysterically when the kids a reces noticed my pad fall out of my pants. I did not know to take the sticky thing off and when I was playing soccer well the rest is history







So you can see I really don't want to mess this up but I get SO wound up about it I just don't know what to say!
Last week my dds' asked if I would have a bath with them again and I told them I can't and said after they asked that I have my period(I do use that word maybe there is a better one?) I am a pretty heavy bleeder and did not want to freak them out with it in the tub







so, they asked dh and he said he would. Thye asked him if he is bleeding right now and said no, only girls do that so they can make a baby. WELL you shoul dhave seen thier eyes! They thought for sure that they were going to bleed and have a baby any day now! I tried to explain to them that they are too little for that to happen and that when they get older mommy will be talking about it lots with them along the way. My dd said, whew! Mommy I want to stay little K?

HELP!!!


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## moma justice (Aug 16, 2003)

funny
i am on my moon right now, and my dd (14 months) just now noticed ot for the first time today
it was one of those bath room trips where dh ,dd, and i were all in the bath room (she just always wants to be with me..even when he is holding her for me to go the the rr, if she asks for me, he just holds her in there...so she can still see me but i don't have to actually keep her out of the cabinette while i try to go...sigh...no privacy for this momma)
anyway
i where cloth pads and when she looked down into my panties i could see her eyes get very wide and she tried to grab my VERY bloody pad...
and i said
no, that is mommas menstral pad...that is my moon blood
the moon brings me that blood each month, it is very special, it helps mommas make babies. it helped me make you....

she said: momma, baby, moon!
these are all subjects that she likes right now...
so
maybe she got a little understanding
she was not affraid...but curious, and then off to something else
i like the "soft bed" for the baby thing...i will use it next time.


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## RBinTEX (Apr 16, 2004)

My boys are 12 and 10. The routine at the grocery store is for them to unload the basket on to the conveyor belt. Neither one of them wants to pick up the feminine protection and put it on the counter. It's always the last thing left in the cart. They exchange dirty looks and finally one of them picks it up and puts it on the cart. I breastfed at the intermediate school the other day. I guess they'll work it out in therapy.

When they were little, I told them my "feminine products" were special toilet paper for girls. When I explained the birds and the bees when they were older, they covered their ears and hummed and didn't want to hear anymore. I hope that lasts all through high school!

My eight-year-old girl doesn't think its a big deal. Little does she know. She weighed 9'3" and had a head circumference in the 20000th percentile.


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## Tyleah (Sep 10, 2004)

My son was very curious about those soft stickers and the long thingys. Ou! He did see me go through a pregnancy and understands the uterus and vagina as well as a little guy can. I've always used correct words. My period finally came back this week (dd - 14mo) and he was really curious. So, I told him about the baby growing in the uterus and it needing a special home around it to protect it and feed it while it grows. We talked about the baby being just an egg that has to be fertilized by a man's sperm to become a baby. Then I told him that the egg in me was getting it's special home in my uterus (made from skin and blood) and that because Daddy didn't fertilize the egg with his sperm the home would go away and then be rebuild next month. He accepted this explanation but wanted very much to see the process of tampon insertion and see the blood/skin home. This is where I drew the line, I just told him that this was where I needed my privacy and that it was like the privacy I give him to wipe his own bottom or wash his penis. He accepted it but is really curious about the home. What do you all think about this explanation?


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## zipperump-a-zoomum (Jan 9, 2002)

I had to do the explanation when ds came to me a couple of months ago and told me that the toilet was growing a candy cane









He went to the midwife's with me throughout my pregnancy with #2, and played midwife quite a bit afterwards, so he knows about a woman's womb and the cervix (a little door that opens to let the baby out). It wasn't too much of a leap to explain that the womb gets ready every month to support a baby and if no baby is there then blood comes out of the little door and the womb can get ready again. He actually wasn't all that interested after I told him it wasn't a candy cane but just a bit of blood.
Kaly


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## mountain mom (Nov 6, 2003)

Haven't read the whole thread but wanted to share a funny story.

So dd knows about my cycle. She is three and about a year ago noticed the blood coming out of one of my soaking moon pads. I told her that the blood is good and it comes evey time the moon is full. And its called my moontime.

So it is my moontime right now and I had a pack of organic tampons on the counter and after dd's bath, she and her dad came to the living room and she asked me as she was in dh's arms looking so sweet "mama, I need a tam bomb. I really do. I have my moontime!"

OH


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## Unoppressed MAMA Q (Jun 13, 2004)

can someone explain to me why you wouldn't just explain it to your kids?
my 2 yr old knows what moon blood is, knows what my keeper (she calls it a moon cup and i let her play with it under my supervision) is.
some mamas mentioned their child noy understanding what a months is, etc. i don't see why that matters. i say tell the story and they will increasingly comprehend it as they grow.
some responses seemed a bit shameful (i don't know whose or anything, i just kind of scanned and didn't even see them all...), but i don't get why you would have a problem with a toddler seeing you insert a tampon or diva cup or whatever. could use a bit of clarification.


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## chickabiddy (Jan 30, 2004)

"but i don't get why you would have a problem with a toddler seeing you insert a tampon or diva cup or whatever"

Because she likes to copy me and I don't really want to introduce the idea that sometimes it's okay to take something out of a cabinet and put it in a vagina.


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## Unoppressed MAMA Q (Jun 13, 2004)

that makes sense.
my daughter does do that, try to copy. she'll grab the keeper and sit there with it between her thighs and say 'my moon blood is here!' .
she thinks it's the coolest thing in the world.
fortunately she hasn't thought to actually try to stick in higher, although she has a hymen and would be out of luck anyway.
which leads me to an







T that i've been wondering about for awhile:
do all little girls have yonis that are sealed over? my daughter's looks like it's got plastic wrap over it.


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## zerby (Mar 28, 2004)

My DD has major labial adhesions, so as of right now, I don't worry about any insertion problems. However, at 18 months, she is OBSESSED with clean and dirty. Clean cups, dirty cups, etc. The other day she walked in on me going to the bathroom. She pointed at my pubic hair, wrinkled up her nose and said" EWWWW! DIWTY!' Apparently she didn't like the fact that I looked different. Ah well, another story that I can't tell at playgroup!


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## mamaroni (Sep 12, 2003)

Fun thread!

As I was reading I was thinking to myself "why hasn't this come up for me?" and then I realized that it's because I've only had a few periods in the past 5 years! I imagine it'll come up though.

In general though I do try to just tell my kids what's what, so we'll see how I handle this one.


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