# 3rd miscarriage last week...



## Madame Ovary (Nov 19, 2001)

Oh, I'm really sad. I was floored by this really accidental pregnancy, then really happy... The timing was not good; I have an awful lot going on right now. Still... We were in NM moving the last million tons or so of our junk, I mean our fine and lovely things we don't need, out of our barn so we can stash them somewhere in the state where we now live. I had been sorting through all the baby stuff from our 2 kids (3 and 7) and getting really excited. Of course we told everyone that wasn't running away from us that I was pregnant. By the time we got back to Colorado, I was obviously miscarrying. So, I just rested at home, while dh unloaded the truck, crying over every box labelled "baby."

I know this isn't nearly as bad for me as what a lot of you have been going through. I do have two healthy kids, and at least *this time* no one has belittled my grief by pointing that out like I should just get over it and be happy. Of course, my kids do make a huge difference.

We weren't sure we even wanted another baby, but once we became confidant that all the upheaval in our lives would work out, we were really happy, so we know now that we do want another. We are planning (whoa! what a concept!) to try again in September.

On a positive note, it's really great to have friends. The first 2 miscarriages I had forced me to realize that I really didn't have anyone but dh to help me through something like this. I had lots of people ("best" friends, "really close" friends) to say kind, polite words, but no deep compassion, no real hugs with real feeling behind them. This time around, I have a few friends already, here in my new town, that I could have leaned on a lot more if I had needed to. I am very, very grateful for them.

Thanks for listening,


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## Elphaba (Nov 19, 2001)

i'm so sorry.


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## ChildoftheMoon (Apr 9, 2002)

Blessings to you and your family Madame Ovary, I am sorry for your loss. Sending love and light your way..................


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## Abylite (Jan 3, 2003)

I'm so sorry!!! I had my second and hopefully last m/c 2 weeks ago. The grief and sadness are beyond words. All I can offer is prayers and hugs.


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## Ms. Mom (Nov 18, 2001)

Madame Ovary,

Your pain is very real, everyone is entitled to thier greif









It sounds like you've been thorugh a lot lately. With a new move, you have a lot more work ahead of you as well. Please, make sure you take the time you need to get through this. You need to cry and explore your feelings.

Also, make sure you take care of yourself physically. It's getting warmer outside and you need to make sure to keep hydrated. You've lost blood and need to replenish your iron. Try to eat foods high in iron such as leafy greans. If you eat meat - red meat is good at this time.

Make sure you're getting enough sleep and if you feel tired or fatigued during the day, try to get some extra rest.

You're kids are at a good age for you to ask for some help. They may enjoy getting you a glass of water, or laying with you when you need to relax.

Please, keep us posted on how your doing and reach out as much as you need to for support.


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## Madame Ovary (Nov 19, 2001)

Ms. Mom: does rum count?







Just kidding. We're going to try again in September, so I'm going to act as if I'm preparing for conception until then. I'm still taking prenatal vitamins, drinking pregnancy tea, etc. After our anniversary (13th) on Monday, I'm going to eliminate sugar and caffeine, too.

While I type this, ds is building himself a baby sister with tinker toys. She's almost as tall as he is. The first thing he said this morning was, "Mommy, when are we going to have another baby?" I got a maternity clothing catalogue in the mail today that I had requested. And, I keep remembering more and more friends that knew I was pregnant, but who haven't heard of my miscarriage yet. I'm annoyed by the feeling of obligation to call people and tell them about this. (Next time I get pregnant, I'm not telling anyone that doesn't live in my house!) I guess we all have to deal with the reminders that keep cropping up. ...Like this list of websites sitting in front of me for companies selling maternity and baby stuff.

Thank you, everyone, for all your kind words.


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## Ms. Mom (Nov 18, 2001)

Well, a little Rum won't hurt!

The reminders are difficult. But I think it's harder to forget than to remember.

Your son made a baby out of Tinker Toys - how sweet and sad all at the same time. Kids are so amazing.

I used to actually avoid places like stores and restarunts that I had gone too because I couldn't bare to have to tell them the news. It does get difficult









I found a very old box of Christmas orniments this year that I had misplaced many years back. I was going through the box and found a box of Christmas cards I had filled out but never mailed. I started looking through them thinking "this is odd". It was the cards I had written before my daughter was stillborn. I signed them all with her name on them too and even made mention of her being there the next year to enjoy the holiday with everyone.

What an odd feeling it was? It did make me sad for a bit. Then I remembered how happy I had been at the thought of her being in my life.


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