# Upsetting, but important safety-related article



## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

This article is about parents forgetting their children in the car in the summer. What makes it different from previous news articles is that the reporter (who is best-known as a humor writer, but he does serious articles like this one too) talks about the neuroscience of memory and how this happens; he talked to scientists and did an overview of different cases of it. He also notes that an amendment to a bill which would have required backseat sensors to prevent the problem, was killed due to concerns about the auto manufacturers' lobby. Likewise, aftermarket devices for that purpose don't sell well because no one believes it can happen to them. And he says that, while ERF and always being in the backseat is the safest thing in general, parents need to know that, as a result, they may be less aware of their baby's or small child's presence. He seems to think that just being aware of that issue might help prevent it from happening, at least some of the time.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn...l?hpid=topnews


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## aran (Feb 9, 2005)

Deleted.

Never mind. Sheesh.


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## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

Does "upsetting" and my description of the subject matter not cover it?


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## pers (Jun 29, 2005)

That's a great article.

I've pulled into a grocery store parking lot, turned to get my kids out of seats, and had an instant of total panic before remembering that I'd left them safely home with my husband. So I can easily see how it could go the other way. It's like during a moment of distraction a switch turns in the mind and moves your children from where they actually are to where you think they should be or where you are used to them being.

My auto-pilot is used to always having at least the little kids with me, so I'm not really worried about leaving them in the van. Still, I put my purse and diaper bag on the floor of the back seat, and I'm trying to make a habit of always looking in the back when I get out (even when I know they are not with me for sure) just so it becomes a part of my auto-pilot routine because these things are the right thing to do. Harmless actions that take less than a second of my time, but which, in an admittedly unliely situation, could save a life.

I think it's also probably a good habit (though possibly a bit nosy) to glance in the back of parked cars when walking by and taking an extra fraction of a second to make sure that any carseats you see the tops of are actually empty.


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## maeby (Nov 4, 2007)

oh my god.

i think it is important to read but my goodness that was hard to get through.


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## it's just apples (Oct 15, 2006)

Thanks for posting that. It's hard to read, but I'm glad I did.


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## queenjane (May 17, 2004)

Thanks for posting that article. It was long, and sad....but well worth reading.

Katherine


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## Daphneduck (Jan 22, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lolar2* 
Does "upsetting" and my description of the subject matter not cover it?

I found it to be so much worse than "upsetting." There are some images in that article that I know will haunt me, but it was important to read. I am going to send that link to several people. Thank you for posting it.
We can't possibly have enough strong reminders about this kind of tragedy.


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## MacKinnon (Jun 15, 2004)

Wow... I'm speechless and in tears. We lost a baby in the county covered by my Safe Kids chapter last year. It's just so devestating. Michigan has a new law going into effect April 1 making it illegal to leave your children in the car. I'm shocked how often I see people purposly leaving their children in the car, they think it's OK or won't matter. Although these cases were tragic, unintentional deaths, there is a huge lack of understanding as to how quickly a car's interior heats up, even on realtively cool days.


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## Smylingeyz (Dec 2, 2007)

Oh, my God.


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## maygee (Dec 22, 2006)

Thanks for posting this. I guarantee that each of those people in that article would've sworn before the tragedy that it couldn't happen to them. It can happen to anyone.


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## Ironica (Sep 11, 2005)

I can totally believe this happens. I won't read the article, because I know it would just upset me, but for goodness' sake, today at Costco, I forgot my baby was ON MY BACK in the Ergo! I was making eyes at a young toddler just a little older than him in the next line over, and thinking that her parents probably think I'm a goof (or worse) because they don't realize I've got one just a little younger at home. Then (a few seconds later) I remembered he was with me. He wasn't even asleep!


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## queenjane (May 17, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ilovemyavery* 
It's just so devestating. Michigan has a new law going into effect April 1 making it illegal to leave your children in the car.

do you have any more details about this? I'm in MI. is there age guidelines? Time guidelines?

Katherine


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## MacKinnon (Jun 15, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *queenjane* 
do you have any more details about this? I'm in MI. is there age guidelines? Time guidelines?

Katherine

We don't know much, this legislation kind of snuck through, we were all pretty unaware of it, to be honest. Here is a link to an article about the law and here is a link to the law. It would make it a misdemeaner to leave a child in the car and a felony if the child is injured or dies because of being left in the car. The length of time is very subjective, the actual wording reads _"A person who is responsible for the care or welfare of a child shall not leave that child unattended in a vehicle for a period of time that poses an unreasonable risk of harm or injury to the child or under circumstances that pose an unreasonable risk of harm or injury to the child. "_


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## StoriesInTheSoil (May 8, 2008)

I had to skim a lot of it so I wouldn't cry... how devastating that would be.


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## RebeccaWo (Apr 1, 2008)

I was _just_ reading this article on a blog that I frequent. Thank you so much for posting this here. I really hope everyone takes the time to read through the full article, as difficult as it is.

As I read page by page, holding my 4-month old DD I could not stop the tears flowing. I'll admit I'm one of those people who would hear or read about a forgetful parent leaving their child to die of hyperthermia in a car and thinking, "How on earth could any parent just _forget_?" That this could never ever in a million years happen to me. The following quote from the article really stood out for me:

Quote:

"We are vulnerable, but we don't want to be reminded of that. We want to believe that the world is understandable and controllable and unthreatening, that if we follow the rules, we'll be okay. So, when this kind of thing happens to other people, we need to put them in a different category from us. We don't want to resemble them, and the fact that we might is too terrifying to deal with. So, they have to be monsters."
This article is important because it takes these so-called "monsters" and shows that they're just like you and me. This could happen to any of us and it's absolutely horrifying. I'm not sure what can be done to prevent this phenomenon from occurring, but I think organizations like Kids and Cars and the work of Lyn Balfour are on the right track.


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## Devaskyla (Oct 5, 2003)

Quote:

It would make it a misdemeaner to leave a child in the car and a felony if the child is injured or dies because of being left in the car.
That might stop people who deliberately leave their kids, but it's not going to do anything to stop these tragedies where good parents just forget they have the child with them. It'll just make their lives even harder. There really needs to be an alarm system on every car to prevent these deaths.


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## Ironica (Sep 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Devaskyla* 
That might stop people who deliberately leave their kids, but it's not going to do anything to stop these tragedies where good parents just forget they have the child with them.

Actually, it might. It's been the law in California for a long time now, so if I saw a baby left in a car, I'd call the cops, and they'd do something. If it's not illegal, then it's harder to intervene if you see it happen.


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## LittleBlessings (May 26, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *maygee* 
Thanks for posting this. I guarantee that each of those people in that article would've sworn before the tragedy that it couldn't happen to them. It can happen to anyone.









:

Thanks for posting that article.It was very hard to read but we all need to hear it


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## Hazelnut (Sep 14, 2005)

Very sad, very hard to read. I like the slant of the article though. It's probably the first time I've read something on the topic and really thought that maybe, just maybe it could indeed happen to me. It's not that I thought these parents were cruel or negligent or stupid or that I'm superior and could never, ever do this. But it's hard to fathom, yk? It's very hard to entertain the possibility that _you_ could do this too, under the right (horrible) circumstances).

It's unfortunate that car manufacturers resisted a safeguard for cars to prevent this. It should be done anyway. I think it should be a common warning too, yk, without the horrible details. At daycares, schools etc. I hate stupid-parent warnings, reminding me that water can be hot, carseats can't go on top of washing machines, but this is clearly needed. I know if my dh were taking my toddler somewhere for the day(not routine) I'd now be calling his a** every 20 minutes til they got there.

And as an aside, I find it very very sad that these parents face a trial and potential jail time. These deaths aren't intentional. They'll suffer their whole life.


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## Eclipsepearl (May 20, 2007)

Good article!

I remember the story about "Mikey". So sad. I understand that they have had three more children. But nothing can replace that child and nothing can relieve the guilt.

Those detectors wont sell to the public. No one thinks they're capable of making this error. It has to be something that either the cars or seats are sold with. They just have to keep alerting the public.

One case mentioned was religious Jewish scholar. These people don't have TV's and don't read newspapers so publicity campaigns will not work. He left his son right after another well-publisized incident, so he obviously wasn't aware.

I'm surprised they didn't talk about caregivers. I read one horrible case where she intentionally left both her and another child in the car. Of course, the other child died and hers' survived. I guess their focus was on the unintentional.

Laws do help. I've seen many children here in France left in cars. I complained to the daycare who said that it's not their jurisdiction. I told her to then spread the word. If this "Crazy American" sees it again, I'm calling the cops (law or no law). Never saw it again...


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## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

Eclipsepearl, I don't know about in France, but a few years ago, DH saw a baby alone in a car in England and called the cops, and they took him seriously even with his clear American accent. They told him they would look into it.

As far as publicity campaigns, we recently had one locally where there were big billboards which said "never leave your child in the car even for a few minutes". That would reach people who don't watch TV or read newspapers. It's also something that could be spread through religious niche media. Obviously that only helps with intentional leaving, not unintentional.


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## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

In an online chat today at washingtonpost.com, the reporter (Gene Weingarten) provided some more information about how to keep children safe. In shortened form to avoid copyright infringement, here are some after-market devices that are available to alert the driver that a child is still in the car, as well as some tips to avoid it without devices:

"Cars-N-Kids Car Seat Monitor

Baby Alert by ChildMinder

Halo Baby Seat Safety system by the Sisters of Invention (this may not be on the market quite yet.)

# Keep a stuffed animal in the carseat and when the child is put in the seat place the animal in the front with the driver.
# Or place your purse or briefcase in the back seat as a reminder that you have your child in the car.
# Have a plan that your childcare provider will call you if your child does not show up for school."

If you follow those three tips faithfully, you won't forget your child.

He got this information from the organization Kids and Cars, http://www.kidsandcars.org


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## OkiMom (Nov 21, 2007)

My husband forgot our daughter once, luckily it was for all of 10 seconds. He was halfway up the stairs when I came outside and asked where she was. It scard him so bad that now he checks the carseats every time he gets out of the car.
If I go anywhere alone with the girls I put the diaperbag in between the two carseats. Of course DD1 likes to make a lot of noise in the car now but its helpful when she falls asleep. I keep the house key on a keychain in my wallet (which is in the diaperbag) so I can't get into the house without the bag, I can't grab the bag without seeing both girls in their carseats. It might be a little paranoid but I rather be paranoid than lose one of them.


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## Dandelionkid (Mar 6, 2007)

I left my 2 month old in the car on a hot summer day with the windows up. parked at the church and just walked right up the steps and into the door.my friend, walking in at the same time said something about my baby looking at us. It was so scary how completely absent he was from my consciousness. i know i would have walked in and left him there without a thought. it's strange looking back that i could have done this. sleep-deprivation combined with slight anxiety about pending social activity probably had something to do with it. thank-you for this article. so important!


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## tekkiegurl (Mar 9, 2009)

nice article about child safety. its an eye opener and a reminder for parents


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