# AP=no highchair or sippy??



## barefootmama0709 (Jun 25, 2009)

I was watching a show on Discovery Health and it featured attachment parenting. The mother who practiced AP said that because she was AP, her kids didn't sit in a high chair or use a sippy. Does anyone else see this as some tenet of AP or is she misinterpreting? I am AP and my 2-year-old uses a sippy because he doesn't "get" a regular cup yet. Opinions, please!!


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## DevaMajka (Jul 4, 2005)

I'm AP, and I used a high chair with ds1, and use a booster seat for ds2 (same thing, as far as this goes- just saves room). Ds2 LOVES his booster chair!
Ds1 used sippies, and I'm sure ds2 will, unless he just really prefers not to.

The only time I can imagine that high chairs or sippies would be non-AP would be if the kid didn't like them, and you (general you) insisted they use them. Or if you kept your dc in a highchair after they clearly indicated they wanted out. But that's a very different issue from saying they are non-AP altogether.


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## To-Fu (May 23, 2007)

Odd! I hadn't heard that before. We used a booster seat and (briefly) a sippy for my toddler. The sippy was sort of a transitional thing between boob and actual cups. He uses regular cups now that he's a little more coordinated.


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## lotusdebi (Aug 29, 2002)

My opinion is that AP isn't about the tools you do or don't use, but about forming an attachment to your child and meeting your individual child's needs the best that you can. Each child is unique. The tools that are so often cited as being AP don't always work for every child. If that person was stating that highchairs or sippy cups would create barriers to her building an attachment with her children or meeting their needs, then I can see how not using them would be AP. I don't think that those tools would create problems for most parents.
From my personal experience, the things in sippy cups that keep them from dripping out liquid caused problems with my older son's latch. He had to suck so hard on the sippy cup that he started sucking hard while nursing (OUCH!). Once I removed those things, the sippys were no longer an issue. And highchairs definitely helped me out a lot! I would've collapsed from exhaustion without highchairs! How could I meet my children's needs then?


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

I think that as with anything, some people take things to the extreme. Sometimes those same "AP parents" who go on television give AP a bad name.

I used a high chair. But, I don't like sippy cups. I just have a personal problem with sippy cups. I DO think there is a time and a place for sippies. (and an age to stop using them) My own feelings on those have absolutely nothing to do with AP though.

I watched a Youtube of two or three AP families, and I thought it looked bizzare and extreme. ANYBODY who might have wanted to look into AP would run away from it because these parents seemed so weird. It was as if the tv station found the strangest people they could just to shock the mainstream into saying "SEEE??? That is exactly what I never want to be".


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## Carhootel (Jul 16, 2008)

I agree with DevaMajka but it frustrates me when I see stuff like this. It's no wonder there are so many misconceptions about AP when people say stuff like that! FTR, my ds uses both a high chair and a sippy cup and I don't have problems with either from an AP standpoint or my personal philosophy


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## GoestoShow (Jul 15, 2009)

.


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## *Aimee* (Jan 8, 2007)

I've been doing it wrong! Oh no!


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## philomom (Sep 12, 2004)

Nope, not true at all. There are times when the safest place for baby is the high chair. And sippy cups are fine.. I don't know anyone in real life who would not give their kids a cup.


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## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

Interpret AP however you like. For me it is more about intent than actual stuff you buy or things you actually do.

I realise this is a very open statement but this in an AP board and I'm sure you know what I mean.


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## barefootmama0709 (Jun 25, 2009)

So many answers already! Wonderful! I also worry when AP becomes more about the "tools" then the kid. I am AP but my youngest is not breastfed and doesn't co-sleep-I couldn't keep up my milk supply and he was NOT interested in co-sleeping. I found this frustrating because they're treating it like in order to be a "good" AP'er you have to wear baby ALL the time (unless they're asleep) and not use anything artificial to feed them. I feel like it alienates people who might want to explore AP but feel intimidated by all the criteria they have to meet.


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## Youngfrankenstein (Jun 3, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nextcommercial* 
I But, I don't like sippy cups. I just have a personal problem with sippy cups. I DO think there is a time and a place for sippies. (and an age to stop using them) My own feelings on those have absolutely nothing to do with AP though.


I agree, we use Sippy cups in their place but I don't let my kids walk all over the house with them or have drinks "all the time". I think it's become where kids expect food and drinks to be available all the time. (I'm not talking about babies).

I do see some parents using sippys for years....


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## mamadelbosque (Feb 6, 2007)

in that case i/we are definetly NOT ap!! DS1 used a sassy seat and is currently using a booster seat, ds2 has just started sitting in the sassy seat at the talbe w/ us the past week or two. DS1 still uses sippies about half the time - I ask him 'do you want a lid?' and he'll say yes or no. I think their invaluable for in the car (though we've switched to straw cups over the past year or so as DS1 seems to prefer them), and I honestly can't imagine why you'd be against high chairs of some sort. Wheres your kid eating otherwise? On your lap 100% of the time?!?!


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## velochic (May 13, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Youngfrankenstein* 
I do see some parents using sippys for years....

That would be us. Dd has to have her drinks other than water in a Sigg with top if she wants to take them anywhere other than the kitchen. It's a sippy cup, essentially. She's 8. And I do the same for myself. I personally don't see anything wrong with cups that are spill-proof and actually kind of see them as practical for many situations.

I agree with the PPs who say that ridiculous statements like in the OP give AP a bad name. Not necessarily a bad name, but spreads misconceptions. It's sad.


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## KempsMama (Dec 1, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *barefootmama0709* 
I was watching a show on Discovery Health and it featured attachment parenting. The mother who practiced AP said that because she was AP, her kids didn't sit in a high chair or use a sippy. Does anyone else see this as some tenet of AP or is she misinterpreting? I am AP and my 2-year-old uses a sippy because he doesn't "get" a regular cup yet. Opinions, please!!

This is one reason why I don't put a name to my parenting method. We do what works for us, as a family unit. If I go around saying I'm an X type parent, there's bound to be someone who looks at us and says, but THAT's not X!!! Kids don't fit into molds, why should parenting methods?


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## Pepper44 (May 16, 2006)

It's kind of silly to think you aren't meeting your child's needs (practicing AP) if you do or don't do something, or use this or don't use that.

I mean the entire point of attachment parenting is to respond to your child's needs and every child/family situation comes with so many variables.

We never used a high chair just because it seemed like a waste of space in our teeny kitchen. DD has a booster seat that has a detachable tray, I guess that's pretty much the same thing as a high chair.

We used sippy cups and straw cups. My DD is 3.5 and she still has a few random sippy cups that she loves. She calls them her baby cups. Doesn't matter to us, it's not like a pacifier or something that could be harmful dentally speaking. She knows how to drink from a regular cup without a lid or straw just like an adult too.

We have cats, and I've found that sippy cups are important--DD likes to keep a drink of water by the bed now that my milk has dried up during pregnancy. If it isn't spill proof sure enough a cat will spill it in the middle of the night, or a cat will try to drink out of it, or get fur in it--yuck! (I keep a stainless steel bottle on the night stand for myself...)


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## dogretro (Jun 17, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Pepper44* 
We have cats, and I've found that sippy cups are important--DD likes to keep a drink of water by the bed now that my milk has dried up during pregnancy. If it isn't spill proof sure enough a cat will spill it in the middle of the night, or a cat will try to drink out of it, or get fur in it--yuck! (I keep a stainless steel bottle on the night stand for myself...)

LOL, dh and I use sippy cups at night for the same reason! Plus, you don't accidentally dribble any out the side of your mouth and onto the bed during the night


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## Shellie (Dec 29, 2003)

I've never read/heard that highchairs are anti-AP. But I've also not agreed that baby buckets and strollers are anti-AP. I've used all three and they haven't kept me from parenting the way I do, which is responding to my child's needs in a respectful manner, following my instincts, following their instincts and allowing them to lead when it's safe and reasonable for them to do so.

I've found that my babies sometimes needed some downtime from me. They loved to be held a LOT, but also enjoyed a break from me for short periods throughout the day. 10-15 minutes in the high chair practicing picking up and eating O's or chewing on a frozen banana in a mesh baggie while I'm a few feet away making dinner or washing dishes....how is that anti-AP?

Sure if you stick a kid in a high chair and shove them in front of the TV and ignore them for hours, then that would not be AP at all. I've known people who do that or who use reclining high chairs to hold a baby with a propped bottle for hours on end. Perhaps that is misuse of a highchair. It doesn't mean that anyone who uses a highchair isn't practicing AP.


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## Alyantavid (Sep 10, 2004)

We used both, but my kids did switch to a booster seat pretty early instead of sticking with the highchair.


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## gcgirl (Apr 3, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GoestoShow* 
What people call AP is astounding.

AP is essentially this:

Respond to child's needs in a timely and appropriate manner.
.

Well and succinctly put! The various permutations of putting this ideology into practice will vary with the child and the circumstances.


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## NYCVeg (Jan 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Youngfrankenstein* 
I agree, we use Sippy cups in their place but I don't let my kids walk all over the house with them or have drinks "all the time". I think it's become where kids expect food and drinks to be available all the time. (I'm not talking about babies).

I do see some parents using sippys for years....

We're parents who have used sippies for "years and years". Dd has severe, life-threatening food allergies, so she needs to go to daycare with her own cups/food/utensils, and she needs to use her own cups in restaurants (food servers handle bread and other crumby food, then pick up the cups--no point in risking dd getting something that could kill her on hands). I'm sure other parents think I'm crazy for using sippies at nearly 4 yo, wiping down tables and chairs before dd sits at them (I assume others assume I'm a germophobe)--I don't really care. They have no idea what it's like to have a severely food allergic child.

I don't see what bad lesson is being taught by a child having water available at all times. I have water available to me at all times.









We used a high chair for as long as dd would tolerate it for the same reason--anything that decreased the risk of cross-contamination from allergens is a plus for us. Now that she's out of a high chair, we always seat her at the head of the table (at home or out), for the same reason.


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## Lisa85 (May 22, 2006)

Actually, it sounds more Montessori than anything. Many of the principles coincide with AP because a huge part of the Montessori philosophy is respecting the child. Often people use the terms interchangeable when they are very different. AP is a parenting philosophy. Montessori can be so many things - a person, a type of education, a parenting philosophy, a way of life, principles to live by, etc. How each person takes it is unique to them.

It's pretty common for kids as young as 15 months to be drinking out of open glasses and sitting at tables. Some would say to assume your child cannot do these things can hamper their independence, confidence and self esteem. That's why in a traditional Montessori classroom, you'll see tiny tables and chairs with real plates and glasses.

To say "We use AP practices so we don't use high chairs or sippies" is like saying "I'm an athlete, so I don't eat cake". Does that mean all athletes avoid cake? Of course not. Does that mean that if you eat cake and are also an athlete that you are not a true athlete or somehow misguided. Obviously not.

As parents we are like athletes, taking and leaving the advice, experience, and research from others that work best for us as individuals in order to have optimal performance.


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## staceychev (Mar 5, 2005)

Oh god. I did this whole AP totally wrong. I ruined my child. Well, at least I have another one on the way. No sippy cups for you, she says in the voice of the Soup Nazi...


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## barefootmama0709 (Jun 25, 2009)

We are all about the straw sippys in this house! Both the kids use them-Canaan never liked the regular sippies and Ezra never had a chance to find out (poor deprived second child).


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## catters (Nov 20, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GoestoShow* 
What people call AP is astounding.

AP is essentially this:

Respond to child's needs in a timely and appropriate manner.



Exactly (and everything else you wrote as well). I am AMAZED at how judgmental and militant people can become over the "right" way and "wrong" way of parenting. Oy!


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lisa85* 
It's pretty common for kids as young as 15 months to be drinking out of open glasses and sitting at tables. Some would say to assume your child cannot do these things can hamper their independence, confidence and self esteem. That's why in a traditional Montessori classroom, you'll see tiny tables and chairs with real plates and glasses.

See.. that is probably one of the reasons I don't like sippy cups. (again, there is a time and a place and an age for sippy cups) I have worked in daycare centers since the early 80s. Sippy cups weren't invented until the mid 90s. So, the babies sat at a small table, and drank milk from a plastic tumbler without a lid, and we cleaned up the spills without giving it any thought. Even at 15 months, they brought the plate to the bins, scraped the extra food off, and put the empty plate into the other bin. It was just expected. Nobody ever thought kids were incapable of such things. It almost offends me when I see adults (who didn't own a sippy cup as a child) who think their own three year old can't drink from a regular cup. I feel like people think kids are idiots these days.

*off topic now* I was in Florida recently, and saw a bunch of kids swimming in the pool. They weren't together, just all swimming at the hotel pool. They all had moms sitting at the side of the pool (watching as they should be) but, the kids, as old as nine and ten would swim up to mom, and she would put a cookie, or a cracker into the child's mouth then some juice, and the kid would swim off. I looked at my nine year old and said "you would starve to death before I would bring snacks to a hotel pool" LOL. There were even signs posted all over saying "no food or drinks in pool area".


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## barefootmama0709 (Jun 25, 2009)

I wish that we could bag the sippy because it would be a lot easier-he'll only use one specific type of straw sippy and it's really difficult to clean. He just doesn't understand how to drink out of a glass though-he holds it and licks the water! It doesn't help that I have OCD and only drink water in bottles either. (I refill the bottles, I just need a cover for the water).


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## catters (Nov 20, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nextcommercial* 
See.. that is probably one of the reasons I don't like sippy cups. (again, there is a time and a place and an age for sippy cups) I have worked in daycare centers since the early 80s. *Sippy cups weren't invented until the mid 90s.*


I have photos of myself as an infant/toddler with a "tommee tippee" which looks just like a sippy cup. I'm 33.

DS uses one sometimes, he's 2.5. He likes to shake his cup for whatever reason (probably because DH makes protein shakes a lot for all of us and uses a shaker cup to mix them). So, in the case of house cleanliness around my table, he gets a lid most of the time. Although he is perfectly physically capable of using a regular cup if need be, I'd prefer not to deal with constant liquid mess. I'll let him use a lidded cup until he's clearly more careful.


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *catters* 
I have photos of myself as an infant/toddler with a "tommee tippee" which looks just like a sippy cup. I'm 33.

.

Yes, but they were sippy/sucky cups either. You couldn't just wander around carrying it without it spilling, and you didn't have to suck on it. They also had tupperware cups with lids and spouts. My daughter is 17, and they had sports bottles back then.


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## Latte Mama (Aug 25, 2009)

Well my DS would have used sippy cups except he didn't want to turn them up to drink from them. He would bring them to us to turn them







which got old really fast. We ditched those and got straw cups. Heck I even use a covered straw cup from Tupperware







.

Oh and DS has used a high chair now turned into a booster. Oh well.


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## One_Girl (Feb 8, 2008)

Maybe following her child's cues is what led her to not using a highchair or a sippy cup, but I don't think that it is anti-AP to use those things. I tried just letting dd use a cup when she was one, but it was very frustrating for her so we used sippy cups until she went into the transition room at daycare when she was two. She stopped using a highchair at this age also and just sat on phonebooks because she wanted insisted she was a big girl now.


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## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

Never heard of those items being non-AP...

Now, in my Montessori training, Sippy cups and high chairs weren't advised - b/c of the independence philosophy. Small babies can drink out of a tiny glass, and sit in a size-appropriate chair at a low table. We didn't allow sippy cups and had zero highchairs in my infant classroom (same in the toddler rooms).

ETA: sorry, hadn't read all the responses - I see Montessori was already mentioned.


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## mamadelbosque (Feb 6, 2007)

There were definetly sippy cups back in the 80s as I remeber them. They may or may not have all been spill proof but there were certainly sippy/spout cups around. Or are we talking about different things here - do you only consider spill proof sippies sippies or just any cup with a lid/spout??


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamadelbosque* 
There were definetly sippy cups back in the 80s as I remeber them. They may or may not have all been spill proof but there were certainly sippy/spout cups around. Or are we talking about different things here - do you only consider spill proof sippies sippies or just any cup with a lid/spout??

No. Only the sucky cups with the rubber spill proof stoppers.


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## Breeder (May 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nextcommercial* 
Yes, but they were sippy/sucky cups either. You couldn't just wander around carrying it without it spilling, and you didn't have to suck on it. They also had tupperware cups with lids and spouts. My daughter is 17, and they had sports bottles back then.

Ah, here I think we have two different interpretations of the word "sippy cup". I personally call anything lidded with a spout a "sippy cup". My little one uses this style which is just a plastic tumbler with a spouted lid similar to the tupperware cups I had as a kid. It sounds like you are referring to this style which are like the Nuby cups that require suction.

My mom always called our cups "sippy cups" when we were kids so that's what I call them too. I wonder which type the lady on TV was speaking of.

Either way I agree with GoestoShow, AP isn't defined by what you buy.


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## philomom (Sep 12, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *catters* 
I have photos of myself as an infant/toddler with a "tommee tippee" which looks just like a sippy cup. I'm 33.

Well, this is not a sippee but here's some examples of feeding cups used to for invalid/nursery care. From the Victorian days.

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Victorian-Porc...p/330407332713


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## PGTlatte (Mar 7, 2004)

I used both a highchair and sippy cups. I always took the regulators out of the sippys so they are free-flowing but that is just a preference, not a philosophy for me. In fact, at 6.9 and 4, both of our kids still get sippys sometimes ! When the 4 yo is given any sort of juice, it is in a sippy, because it would take me 8 times of mopping to get the sticky spot off the floor if he spilled it. When he stops spilling his water and soymilk, I'll give up the sippy for juice. His nightstand water is also in a sippy because otherwise he will spill it getting himself a drink in the middle of the night. Drinks in the car are also always sippys. And when either of them takes a drink to the basement play area, it's in a sippy. We have sport top bottles but they are too big for them. The sippys are the perfect size.

I have some friends though who seemed to think the sippy cups were unnatural or something. Whatever - to each her own


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## Youngfrankenstein (Jun 3, 2009)

Please don't get me wrong! I am not the judge of who "can" use sippy cups!







I just have had little kids over who (and parents) who get annoyed when I don't want their toddler taking their juice cups all over my house. I make them stay at the table. Those things might be spill-resistant, but they're not spill-proof.

I wasn't pointing fingers at who should and shouldn't be using sippy cups.


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## PGTlatte (Mar 7, 2004)

Youngfrankenstein said:


> . I make them stay at the table. Those things might be spill-resistant, but they're not spill-proof.
> /QUOTE]
> 
> 
> ...


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## tbone_kneegrabber (Oct 16, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nextcommercial* 
See.. that is probably one of the reasons I don't like sippy cups. (again, there is a time and a place and an age for sippy cups) I have worked in daycare centers since the early 80s. Sippy cups weren't invented until the mid 90s. It almost offends me when I see adults (who didn't own a sippy cup as a child) who think their own three year old can't drink from a regular cup. I feel like people think kids are idiots these days.

actually I saw antique silver sippy cup on antique road show.

And frankly a travel mug is a sippy cup for a grown up.

and my il's still have the sippy lids for their 30year old tupperware.


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## Materfamilias (Feb 22, 2008)

Crap! I've obviously got this AP stuff ALL wrong


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## Bluegoat (Nov 30, 2008)

THat's just silly.

I started using a sippy with my kids as soon as they started solid food. I wanted to be able to give them liquids, but I didn't see much point in introducing a bottle at that age.

I really like them for bed-time drinks, traveling around town, and in the car. I'm not a fan of straws in the car, since I had an accident with one as a kid that was really painful.


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## cappuccinosmom (Dec 28, 2003)

That's probably one of the silliest things I've heard.

My first two used a highchair. I phased it out because frankly it was just another thing for me to trip over and have to clean. Got sick of it, and my kids were happy to eat sitting on my lap.

Sippy cups though? You better believe I used those! My children all self-weaned loooong before they were capable of successfully navigating a grown up cup. I don't see how it's un-AP to be spill proof.


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## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

I think there is a Montessori tradition of no highchair (low table instead) and no sippy (I assume that's because good Italian children need to learn to hold proper wine glasses and espresso cups ASAP-- seriously though, sippies are simply less common in continental Europe, where Montessori International is based, than in the US and UK). I'm thinking the mother said they did something because they were AP, and didn't do highchairs and sippies because the kids either go to Montessori school or they do Montessori-inspired homeschooling; and the director spliced together bits of the two statements to make it sound weirder. Because that's the kind of thing they do on TV shows.


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

do you think she meant sippy cup = plastic?

did she go on to explain what she meant? did she go on to say in her house that is what AP was/is because she probably had a child like mine she refused both high chair and sippy cup. and if she had her way - away with carseat too? dd was drinking from glass glasses by 1. i got her little glasses - like different shot, sherry and brandy glasses/snifters and she loved them.

do you think that was what she was intending?


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lolar2* 
the director spliced together bits of the two statements to make it sound weirder. Because that's the kind of thing they do on TV shows.

oooh good point. i hadnt thought about that. you are sooo right. that is a definite possibility.


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## catters (Nov 20, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nextcommercial* 
Yes, but they were sippy/sucky cups either. You couldn't just wander around carrying it without it spilling, and you didn't have to suck on it. They also had tupperware cups with lids and spouts. My daughter is 17, and they had sports bottles back then.

Ah, I see what you're saying. I just call any kind of lidded cup a "sippy".


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## LuxPerpetua (Dec 17, 2003)

I can't imagine how sippy cups got thrown into AP--perhaps they were confusing crunchiness with AP-ness or something . . . I vaguely remember weirdness on MDC regarding sippy cups when dd was little, at around the same time there was a lot of discussion against spoon-feeding or purees/feeding solids before a year old, and such. I personally think none of these having anything whatsoever to do with AP.

With the high chair thing, I do think there could be an AP connection. My dd hated being confined as a baby so she never, ever sat in a high chair. She would have been screaming bloody murder if I had tried to put her in a high chair to eat (as it was I usually just had to chase her about). It would not have been AP for me to strap her in a chair to eat because her needs would not have been being met. I have known quite a few people who put their children in high chairs for convenience sake only, whether at meal-time or other times, even against the child's will. Of course, this would not be following the intentions of AP. I kind of doubt that the person in question had this particular issue in mind (the highchair thing seems like another confusion of crunchy with AP to me) but I thought I'd throw the idea out there since it was an issue we faced with our high needs dd.


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## ShadowMoon (Oct 18, 2006)

If I avoided the highchair but still allow DS to drink from sippy cups, does that mean I only get docked half of an AP point?


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## childsplay (Sep 4, 2007)

nextcommercial said:


> See.. that is probably one of the reasons I don't like sippy cups. (again, there is a time and a place and an age for sippy cups) I have worked in daycare centers since the early 80s. Sippy cups weren't invented until the mid 90s. So, the babies sat at a small table, and drank milk from a plastic tumbler without a lid, and we cleaned up the spills without giving it any thought. Even at 15 months, they brought the plate to the bins, scraped the extra food off, and put the empty plate into the other bin. It was just expected. Nobody ever thought kids were incapable of such things. It almost offends me when I see adults (who didn't own a sippy cup as a child) who think their own three year old can't drink from a regular cup. I feel like people think kids are idiots these days.
> 
> I agree with you, kids are capable of a lot, they can be incredibly helpful if given small tasks and responsibilities, even at a very young age. I have a home daycare and do the same thing. At 14 months they start with open topped plastic cups. They do fine with it, and when they spill, I wipe it up, no big deal. I just put a couple mouthfuls in at a time so it's not to heavy or sloshy. And refill it over and over until they're done. They only drink seated at the table anyway so it's not like they're dumping open cups of milk all over my sofa or anything. They also set the table, they put the cloths (napkins) on the table, set out the forks, spoons and cups, and carry their dirty plates over to the counter when the meal is over. Later I choose one to carry the dirty cloth napkins and bibs to the laundry basket (a job that for some reason is highly sought after) It's not only helpful but incredibly cute.
> It really irks me though when these same kids, some as old as 4 get dropped off in the morning sucking on a bottle of milk, or with a leaky sippy cup that quickly finds it's way to the darkest reaches of under-the-couch only to be discovered a few days later. ( I usually just take the bottle and pour some into a cup for the child)
> ...


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## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

Sippy cups can be an important comfort object for preschoolers, though. At least at our house, I'm certainly not the one insisting on it. DS couldn't breastfeed and he's old enough that it's socially unacceptable for him to have a bottle; he would never take a pacifier or his thumb; so his sippy cup is his most socially-acceptable alternative to meet his sucking needs. I've known other children who were attached to their sippies as well. Don't you think some of those children who arrive with sippies, need them for comfort?


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## GoestoShow (Jul 15, 2009)

.


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## karika (Nov 4, 2005)

I do not use high chairs. We do not eat at a table, or really regular meals. We just eat when we are hungry. I do not think AP can be defined by sippy cups or highchairs. It is a way of listening to our children. I personally feel a high chair is a separation tool, like a crib or baby bucket (perhaps that is what she meant? I haven't watched the video yet). My children did not eat food until they were 10 mo and 8 mo. I always like to hold them in my lap or have them sitting beside me on the couch, since they were eating from my plate. I think the sippy cup is not preferable since it is made of plastic. dd1 did not use one. She used glass glasses from a very young age. She did not break one until she was 5. She has only broken one glass. She did not spill as a toddler either. dd2 has always wanted water. both were breastfed on demand with no restrictions, but dd2 wanted water from an early age. I started out giving her sips from a glass glass or my glass water bottle (I reuse the glass juice containers for water). Her demand for water was so high, and she would spill on purpose it seemed (and I am not living in my own home, it is someone else's). I gave in and bought her a BPA free sippy cup (only one and only for water). They were just different children. I believe in AP as it is thought of in the continuum concept ( http://www.continuum-concept.org/cc_defined.html ) and this does not cover highchairs or sippy cups.... but in my mind, anything that is baby centered (has only one purpose to be used for the baby) is adverse to the concept, but we are living in america and we all do what we can with what we have, and any amount of AP is better than not.


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## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GoestoShow* 









I'm sorry. I would just love to see you try this with my 15 month old son. It's not that he's incapable of drinking from an open cup. It's just that he's highly capable of flinging food and drink from across the room on to the exact thing you don't want to get food or drink on.

And the seated at the table part? Oh my gosh! I'd love to see my kid sit anywhere for more than five seconds. That would be a miracle, truly. Again, not because he is incapable, but because it's just not something he does --- remember, my daycare has to strap him into a car seat to eat because even if he's hungry, he'd rather be playing.

Actually my DS would do all that (sitting at the table, etc) at daycare at 15 months, but not at home.


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## Snuzzmom (Feb 6, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *catters* 
Exactly (and everything else you wrote as well). I am AMAZED at how judgmental and militant people can become over the "right" way and "wrong" way of parenting. Oy!

For real. What difference does it make if a high chair and sippy cup are AP or not? Is someone keeping score for this somewhere?

Do what works for you and your kids and don't worry so much about whether or not you're accommodating a parenting philosophy.

ETA Because this sounds harsher to the OP than I intend... the point is, if you ARE using a high chair or sippy cup, and you heard that it isn't AP, that doesn't mean you've automatically Ruined Your Child For Life.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GoestoShow* 
I'm sorry. I would just love to see you try this with my 15 month old son. It's not that he's incapable of drinking from an open cup. It's just that he's highly capable of flinging food and drink from across the room on to the exact thing you don't want to get food or drink on.

I hear you. I ended up using a sippy cup with both dd1 and ds2 (moreso ds2) far longer than I ever expected to. The spillage was something awful. DD1 was very prone to throwing drinks for a while. DS2 is prone to throwing _everything_, and apparently has an incredible need to play with water. I'm learning to be insanely quick to clear water glasses, jugs, coffee cups, etc., but I don't even like to give him his water with lunch, because either it ends up in his lunch, or his lunch ends up in it. Soooo frustrating.


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## GoestoShow (Jul 15, 2009)

.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GoestoShow* 
But in the last couple of days his new thing is to put his hand in the water glass and try to pull the ice cubes out, then to put the ice cubes back in with as much splash as possible, and so on, until he finally gets upset that the ice cubes have completely melted but then there's more water to splash!

This is ds2, as well...but it's more likely to be rice, bits of meat, salad, etc. than ice cubes. Yuck!

Quote:

Great fun. Though better than the hands in the toilet, I suppose, which I am just not a fan of.
Nor am I. Toilets are at a very, very bad height for toddlers.


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## Icehockey18 (Oct 24, 2009)

I actually saw the tv show. I had the closed captioning on (ds was sleeping in my lap) so I couldn't hear tone, but I think she was saying her style (AP) of parenting didn't use mainstream child rearing tools. That you don't NEED them and can get by just fine raising your children without them. Of course for dramatic reasons I'm sure the producers put a lot of emphasis on that point. What they did say 'defined' AP, was cosleeping, EBF, and babywearing. The woman on the program also EC. But of course the program was called 'radical parenting'







but they sure did try to make AP look weird!!!!!!!!! They had experts giving 'pros' and 'cons' to everything... They also did a bit on unschooling...
But as for the highchair thing, we have one! I wouldn't be able to do dishes without it! Ds would be soaking wet if I tried to wear him and do dishes- I'm always splashing myself!! I also agree with PP. AP is not what you do or do not use to parent. It's how you parent, by provding 'attachment' to your children by meeting their needs and caring for them in a loving attentive way.


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *childsplay* 
It really irks me though when these same kids, some as old as 4 get dropped off in the morning sucking on a bottle of milk, or with a leaky sippy cup that quickly finds it's way to the darkest reaches of under-the-couch only to be discovered a few days later. ( I usually just take the bottle and pour some into a cup for the child)

I'm assuming that at drop-off the kids are coming from the car. Most people, including adults, use "sippy cups" when drinking in the car -- isn't that pretty much what to-go coffee cups are?

Regarding the OP, I saw the program in question (Radical Parenting), and I thought the AP family was portrayed in a positive light (but that could be that I do a lot of the same things they do







). I didn't take the mother's comment about sippy cups and high chairs to be bullet points describing AP, but just her general parenting philosophy, tossing in NFL points along with the AP points.


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## karemore (Oct 7, 2008)

I did get some criticism from my mother, my mil, and my sil for not making DD sit in her high chair. But because we were AP I allowed DD to graze from a plate or bowl placed at a low level (the foot rest of her high chair







)

We still use cups with lids for drinks outside the kitchen. Both of us! We always have water nearby and I don't want spills. It's perfectly AP behavior to me.


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## contactmaya (Feb 21, 2006)

I think the connection with AP and sippy cups is
that children who are breastfed on demand, and experience child led weaning have less need for sippy cups. This is not to judge anyone here, but just to explain the possible connection in some families. In my family, we never depended on sippy cups for this reason. My kids dont drink much cows milk,
we only have juice for breakfast, and therefore only need cups to drink water. Usually when out, both kids just drank from my water bottle. When the baby was too young, he tried carefully from my bottle, and i provided his own little cup (not sippy) with a little water in it. That cup was used for other purposes too. The other reason i didnt use sippies is i find them unhygeinic. But thats because i dont have a dishwasher and cant wash them properly. I think all of these things are tied to a life style that is dependent on things lke dish washers, cars, etc etc.
I got my kid a sippy cup one day because he saw another kid with it in the playground, and seemed to really like it. But we didnt use it much, although we had it. Sometimes he requested it specifically, and I got it for him. I had some others too, but usually take off the top. (convenience more than anything) On the other hand, i can see that sippies create less spills, so i guess im cleaning up more spills.

As for high chairs, i feel the connection to AP is that a) it creates separation,(not on lap) but then it can foster community too (kid can sit at table with adults) b)I dont like the idea of tying someone down, and for the baby not to have freedom of movement. Yes, its easier for the parent, but it just goes against the grain for me.

Also, the notion of tying a kid down to kind of spoon feed goes against the grain. I prefer to give the child freedom to pick from my plate.
Bottom line though , for me, was lack of space, so i never used a high chair. Also, both my kids were climbers and escapee artists, and wouldnt have put up with it for long.
Also, because of this they learned to sit up and have more control at an earlier age than other children i observed, so outgrew the need for a high chair faster.
Generally, we share food from the same big plate, and even drink from the same cup (saves on washing up for me) and also fosters connection and communtiy. I never had trouble getting my kids to sit at the table for a meal. Thats just what we do. Don't know if its because of this. When kids asks for his own plate, or cup, he gets it. Now he's 4, he generally gets his own plate, but sometimes we still share from mine.

So, high chairs and sippies, they can be what you like. But i do think that sippy cups aid in the weaning the child. I dont think they have to be non AP though, just explaining how i see it, and how it worked for me.
Maya


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