# Toy timeout?!?



## Momma2Gianna (Oct 18, 2009)

A toy timeout!!! OMGsh!!! What a great idea!!! I just read about this in another post (the one about the nerf guns) and I seriously did a little dance inside because I am SOOOOO going to try that the next time a toy gets misused. (Lately throwing matchbox cars at others' heads is all the rage in my living room.)

Do you do a toy time out? What are your stipulations and parameters? Do they earn the toy back? Tell me everything!!!


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## terrabella (Oct 19, 2005)

♥


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## LilyGrace (Jun 10, 2007)

We've sort of done them but sort of not. I don't give any second chances - no "if-then" statements. It's just an observation after stating the rules 2-3 times, "you're having trouble using this toy correctly right now. It needs a break. When you're ready to have it back, let me know." Second time the toy gets put away I get to decide when the child is ready to have it back again, but the first time they get to.

It's been rare that it's come to it but I find it helpful when we all just need to chill.


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## ChristyMarie (May 31, 2006)

We do it. Much more effective than attempting to put the child in time out.


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## elmh23 (Jul 1, 2004)

We do it. If they are using something in a manner for which I don't care or is likely to hurt someone, I give them a warning. If they do it again, I take the toy. Time varies. It's been as little as a couple minutes and as long as a couple days.

The only problem I have with this is that sometimes I can't find the toy after a little while. Right now we've lost ds's lightsaber after it was put up for an extended stay. Whoops!


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## tabrizia (Oct 24, 2007)

We do this too, it works wonders. DS gets one warning and then the toy goes away for awhile. He will occasionally tantrum after the toys gets taken, but when he gets it back, anywhere from 10 minutes after it was taken to a couple of hours later, depending on when I remember to give it back, he is almost always good about using it in a non-misbehaving way.


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## GuildJenn (Jan 10, 2007)

We've done it (now mentioning the possibility seems to do it). We just put it on top of the piano for the day and I tidy it back down at night. The biggest reason in the past has been for throwing toys inappropriately.


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## MacKinnon (Jun 15, 2004)

We do this to, and the amount of time the toy is gone just really depends on why it was taken and when they ask for it back. Sometimes (more often then not, really) after the initial tears about loosing the toy, they forget about it and it gets returned to their room when I find it! If they keep begging for it back, then it will be returned in as little as 10 or 15 minutes, if they are able to use it correctly. If it gets taken a second time, then it goes away for the rest of the day.


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## SunshineJ (Mar 26, 2008)

We do this as well. Works FANTASTIC in our house! If dd is playing with her stuffed cat at bedtime instead of cuddling with it and trying to get to sleep I may tell her that if she keeps playing with her kitty then it will have to sleep with me tonight (she's never pushed beyond my saying that! LOL!). If the kids are fighting over the Wii then the Wii goes into a timeout and gets shut down for a while. When DS was pointing a laser gun at DH's face it ended up on top of the fridge. Actually it's been there about 2 weeks and DS mentioned it last night, I should probably bring that back down today! LOL! It will be returned with the warning that a repeat of the behaviour will end it back into TO. (Normally after TO 2 times the toys disappears for good, but this was something he got at our trip to Disney and is pretty special so I don't want to go there with this one.) I have to agree, far easier than putting a child in TO and really, I think it works a lot better at least for us.


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## HappilyEvrAfter (Apr 1, 2009)

I do this.

With the toy guns: if momma (or any human, but it's just us in the house) get's shot then the gun goes on the shelf for 5 hours...no matter how many times I hear, "Momma, is it time for me to get my gun back yet?" Even for a first offense. I'm not a big anti-gun person (military here), but I'm very strict about him pointing the gun at himself or another human.

At clean up time: If I have to start picking up the toys then they go on the shelf for two days.
I'll help clean up if I was playing too, but once my part is done then the rest is subject to the rule above.

Whatever goes outside comes back in when the day is over. If I have to go outside and pick them up to bring them in then they're lost for a week.
This is a pretty stiff toy time out because of where we live.
There's a grocery bag full of muddy hot wheels up there now. He actually went out there last night to tell them goodnight and that he would see them soon. "Oh, how I miss you little hot wheels. We'll play in the dirt when you get not grounded." My little drama king.
















Sometimes I forget or we both forget, but the toys always go on the same shelf out in the garage.


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## gcgirl (Apr 3, 2007)

It's funny - this is one of those "basic" parenting strategies that often gets missed. Of course we put a toy away for a while if it's being misused (in our house, that often means thrown or used to hit somebody). Makes SO much more sense than putting the CHILD "away."


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## butterfly_mommy (Oct 22, 2007)

I do this and used this strategy as an Early Childhood Educator. I will remind DS what the toy is used for (ex the train is for driving on the track, a ball is for throwing) if he throws the train again I say "It looks like you are having a hard time playing with the train so lets put it away and get out the ball to throw" Then I ask DS to put the train in the bin or I remove it from his hand and put it in the bin and then I get a ball and try to engage him in throwing the ball to me, in basket, etc

DS is only 21 months so he is still in that distractable stage so he is not likely to go and get the train out immediately and start throwing it again if I engage him in something else. When he is older (I used to do this with my preschoolers) I may put the toy on a shelve or in a cupboard or something till I feel he is ready to play properly with it.

Sometimes when he gets frustrated with a toy he strarts mistreating it and I say very sypathetically "Oh it sounds like you are frustrated, do you want help or should we put the toy away?" Half the time he says "Away"







Then we snuggle and do something else.


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## tbone_kneegrabber (Oct 16, 2007)

I used it especially if two kids are fighting over a toy. Specifically ds and his bff, I usually say something like, "you have having trouble figuring out how to play with this together, so I'm putting it up until later." Sometimes I tell them "the toy is causing conflict so its going away"

The toy comes back when I remember it, or ds asks for it which usually ends up being days later.


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## mamadelbosque (Feb 6, 2007)

I definetly do this - mostly lately its involved DS pointing random long-is things and pretending their guns and 'shooting' stuff - our/my rule is no pointing at/shooting people. If he 'shoots' me (or anyone else) the 'gun' whatever it may be, goes away for a while. No defined time, just till somebody goes around and picks up and puts it back in his reach (I tend to put things up wherever I am in the house - so stuff gets stuck ontop of the fridge, random shelves, in cupboards, etc...). The other frequent offense is running over our toes on his bike - the first time of the day he gets a warning, the next time, it goes away for hours or sometimes days...


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## Ofwait (Feb 16, 2008)

I use this alot! I learned it from my Mom... basically if a toy is being missused, fought over or generally otherwise causing lots of strife it goes away.

The exception being my yougest's very very very special stuffed animal, that my 4 year old loves to steal... just to hear his sister scream about it...







:


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## sewchris2642 (Feb 28, 2009)

Here, toy time out is the same as kid time out. It's tied to the age of the kid. The 2 yo's time out is shorter than her 4 yo brother. The toy is put up out of reach but still visible. When the time is up, the owner of the toy is requested (and urged) to apologize to the victim.

I have thrown toys (usually guns and weapons) away that belonged to the 11 yo for repeated offenses. If he can't use the toy properly, he doesn't deserve said toy.


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## sewchris2642 (Feb 28, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ofwait* 
I use this alot! I learned it from my Mom... basically if a toy is being missused, fought over or generally otherwise causing lots of strife it goes away.

The exception being my yougest's very very very special stuffed animal, that my 4 year old loves to steal... just to hear his sister scream about it...







:

Yes. While most toys, no matter who they belong to, can be played by everyone (with age restrictions, of course. The baby can't play with Legos, for example), lovies are sacred.


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## eepster (Sep 20, 2006)

Toys often have time-outs in our house. Sometimes it's for a set amount of time, usually the rest of the day, but most often it is till DS is ready to demonstrate that he understands why the toy was taken away and how the toy should be used.

Once the Legos were away for a couple of weeks till DS was able to say that we don't throw Legos and promised not to throw them in the future.


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## Fuamami (Mar 16, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *elmh23* 
We do it. If they are using something in a manner for which I don't care or is likely to hurt someone, I give them a warning. If they do it again, I take the toy. Time varies. It's been as little as a couple minutes and as long as a couple days.

The only problem I have with this is that sometimes I can't find the toy after a little while. Right now we've lost ds's lightsaber after it was put up for an extended stay. Whoops!

Have you looked on the top shelf of your pantry? That's where I found ds's lightsaber the other day.


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## crl (May 9, 2004)

We did this a lot when DS was little. Once he knew the rule, I took the toy for the first infraction--no warnings.

The main cause of toy time-out was throwing a toy inside (we tried other softer rules, like only throwing soft things. he threw pretty much everything in the house trying to figure out what was "soft"














). DS was around 18 months at that point. The toy went away until after nap, if the incident was before nap, or until the next morning, if the incident was after nap. The other biggie was the related throwing toys down the stairs. That was around age 2. Same routine.

It was quite effective both rounds.

Catherine


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## crl (May 9, 2004)

I should add that we tried this more recently for not cleaning toys up. DS is now 6 and I have decided that he is old enough to clean up his own darn toys by himself. He disagrees at times. Sigh. Toy time-out has not been very effective this time around. DS just starts an argument about when he should get the toys back, doesn't clean up any remaining toys and generally makes bedtime miserable over the whole thing.

(I've resorted to the not-very-logical consequence of linking toy clean up in the evening to screen time the following day. Much more effective. For whatever reason, at this age DS is much more able to accept the idea that he has to earn a privilege than he is able to accept that I will take something away from him as a consequence.)

Catherine


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## Shera971 (Nov 26, 2008)

I used to do this all the time but haven't done it in... gosh maybe 2 years? (DS is 4 now). I would normally put the toy away for the day (unless he super duper promised not to do it again, ie I caved







) There was only one toy that we put away for good because he wouldn't stop terrorizing the dog with it. The timeouts didn't work with that toy and I think it went away for about 6 months before we brought it out again.


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## Llyra (Jan 16, 2005)

We do it too. Our universal length of time for the toy to go away is "until bedtime."


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## JessicaS (Nov 18, 2001)

We put toys in time out. Well..we did with dd anyways, she is 8 now and kind of old for that







we will probably do it with ds.


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## PatchChild (Sep 1, 2006)

Toy time outs work well. It's usually thrown toys here as well. Sometimes, I'll ask DS to put the toy in time out, and he's very good about that.


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## RiverTam (May 29, 2009)

Oh, yeah. Toys take a vacation on top of the refrigerator all the time at our house. If I have to take a toy away, it's on vacation until the next morning.

The kids get one "Knock it off or lose the toy!" warning and then I take it away.


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

how long depends on how it was being misused, how often it goes to time out and how annoyed I am by it. OSmeitmes it just goes until they ask about it again. Sometimes it gores until I think I can deal with the next round.


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## Kristine233 (Jul 15, 2003)

My kids affectionately started calling it "Toy Jail". It works and my kids got it very easily. Even now that they are older they still lose toys to toy time out (aka: toy jail) and they earn these items back.


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