# Breasts as sexual objects just doesn't make sense anymore.



## ILoveSweetpea (Jan 7, 2009)

I hope this post doesn't offend anyone. I just needed a place to talk about this.

First, I should say that I've never been hugely into incorporating my breasts into sexual play.

When I started breastfeeding, the idea of my breasts being sexual at first seemed silly. I mean, my breasts exist for the purpose of feeding my baby. Why would they be sex objects? It just made no sense to me... That feeling has sort of evolved, though, and now the idea of my breast being sexual seems very very wrong. I don't want my breast to be sexual - AT ALL. It feels disturbing to me to think of them in that way. They are for my infant son. I don't want to have any sexual association with them at all. It just feels wrong.

Sort of along the same lines... I don't see why women can't go topless if men are allowed to do so. Not that I'm running around topless, but I guess I am just saying I don't understand why breasts have to be covered all the time. I know it's because they are viewed as sex objects... which, again, I just do NOT get. At all.

Fortunately, my DH isn't overly into breasts either... so this isn't causing any drama in the bedroom. More just internal drama. I don't mind being sexually indifferent to my breasts... but I don't like the feeling of horror that breasts could possibly be sexual.

I'm probably not making much sense. Am I the only one that feels this way? Can anyone relate or am I just stranded on Crazy Island all by myself?


----------



## LadyCatherine185 (Aug 12, 2008)

I feel like mine are not sexual either, and feel weird when DH tries to touch them, etc. I am sure some of it is hormones from BF'ing and no sex drive, but yeah, I totally feel you on breasts not being sexual thing.

My DH likes breasts though, so it has been tough for him to see these much bigger boobs that he is not allowed to touch at all.


----------



## syd'smom (Sep 23, 2008)

Actually there was a court case in Saskatchewan where I woman was ticketed for driving her jeep topless. She said it was unfair b/c men were allowed to do so. She won! Not sure how many women are utilizing that ruling - but I bet it would really help in a NIP confrontation!


----------



## annie2186 (Apr 13, 2009)

That is sooooo funny - I was just trying to figure out this train of thought myself yesterday.

I wonder if this is why nursing toddlers is so frowned upon? I think that if we could stop looking at breasts as a sexual object it would really help........alot of people seriously view it as something close to child molestation (I mean, not that bad, but still)

I was just thinking about women in villages or tribes (not sure where they are) that just walk around topless because their breasts are nothing to them except a way to feed their babies/young.

Soooo, I don't know - but I think that is at the core of the nursing problem.

And luckily my husband isn't a boob person - but I still have libido problems due to nursing ANYWAY!!!


----------



## kriket (Nov 25, 2007)

nak

i guess i am one of the people that can multi task my boobies! i love my milky boobs! dh does too as long as they don't milk on him.









i don't have a problem with breasts being sexual, but they are more then just for play! they have a job to do too. i find hands sexy but i don't think everyone should wear gloves to protect my delicate sensibilities.

all work and no play makes the milk trucks cranky


----------



## 2xy (Nov 30, 2008)

Yes, breasts are for feeding babies. A woman's wider hips are for birthing babies. Just because those things are functional, doesn't mean they aren't sexually attractive to a man. I think our body parts have multiple purposes....if they weren't appealing to the opposite sex, then there wouldn't be babies to birth and nurse.

A man's broader shoulders aren't for the sole purpose of turning us on....but they do.


----------



## AFWife (Aug 30, 2008)

nak

Quote:


Originally Posted by *syd'smom* 
Actually there was a court case in Saskatchewan where I woman was ticketed for driving her jeep topless. She said it wa unfair b/c men were allowed to do so. She won! Not sure how many women are utilizing that ruling - but I bet it would really help in a NIP confrontation!









i love this









i feel the same way. a male friend recently told me i grossed him out because boobs aren't for feeding







: i informed him that he was a huge pig


----------



## Hesperia (Sep 3, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kriket* 
nak

i guess i am one of the people that can multi task my boobies! i love my milky boobs! dh does too as long as they don't milk on him.









i don't have a problem with breasts being sexual, but they are more then just for play! they have a job to do too. i find hands sexy but i don't think everyone should wear gloves to protect my delicate sensibilities.

all work and no play makes the milk trucks cranky

I love this! I know this isn't the OP question/comment, but I think we should be able to love everything about our bodies for their different purposes.
We get so many mixed messages coming in about womens sexuality. It is difficult to feel comfortable and normal that our bodies are amazing, both for sustaining life and looking amazing and feeling lovely. It is tricky.

It is hard to deny sexuality behind breastfeeding (oxytocin release during orgasm and breastfeeding). I think they are interconnected and I hope to one day be in the place of kriket.


----------



## LadyCatherine185 (Aug 12, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2xy* 
Yes, breasts are for feeding babies. A woman's wider hips are for birthing babies. Just because those things are functional, doesn't mean they aren't sexually attractive to a man. I think our body parts have multiple purposes....if they weren't appealing to the opposite sex, then there wouldn't be babies to birth and nurse.

A man's broader shoulders aren't for the sole purpose of turning us on....but they do.

I guess when you think back to early history, where survival was harder, etc. it does make sense. A man was attracted to a woman's breasts and hips BECAUSE they were a sign of fertility, etc. So the reason they are sexualy attractive to men is because they are for feeding.


----------



## Dahlea (May 15, 2008)

I guess I'm a little different-I think it's silly that women's breasts (especially OMG NIPPLE) are such "dirty" things and must be covered.
However, I do enjoy my husband still playing with my breasts even though I'm breastfeeding-they are 2 totally different sensations.
However, I did have a dream a couple of weeks ago where my husband was sucking on my breasts, trying to get milk and I yelled at him because he was doing it wrong lol. I woke up to my son nursing. Very strange, but funny!


----------



## HisBeautifulWife (Jun 18, 2008)

Well I read an article that said that breastfeeding is a sexual experience. It was making sense at first, but then as I read on it kind of freaked me out and made my stomach turn because it really said some things that I NEVER heard of in my life.

But many things are multi purposes so I don't understand why it's so hard to accept that breasts may be one of them. They can be sexual, they can be for feeding. That doesn't mean that (all) people think they are dirty just because it's generally seen as something you should cover.


----------



## LionessMom (Mar 12, 2008)

i have never thought of bfing as sexual. i didnt find my breasts sexual while bfing either. neither did DH. i weaned DD awhile ago. DH still doesnt think they are too sexual. but we are making progress!


----------



## jeminijad (Mar 27, 2009)

Yeah. I don't see mine as sexual at all.

Attractive, maybe, as part of what a PP mentioned was designed to draw a mate, as a sign of my fertility...

But spank material H*LL no!

Maybe once I'm past the exclusive nursing 12 times a day I'll be more receptive to it.


----------



## tayndrewsmama (May 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kriket* 
nak

i guess i am one of the people that can multi task my boobies! i love my milky boobs! dh does too as long as they don't milk on him.









i don't have a problem with breasts being sexual, but they are more then just for play! they have a job to do too. i find hands sexy but i don't think everyone should wear gloves to protect my delicate sensibilities.

all work and no play makes the milk trucks cranky

OMG!







: You rock! I love this and totally agree!


----------



## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kriket* 
nak

i guess i am one of the people that can multi task my boobies! i love my milky boobs! dh does too as long as they don't milk on him.









i don't have a problem with breasts being sexual, but they are more then just for play! they have a job to do too. i find hands sexy but i don't think everyone should wear gloves to protect my delicate sensibilities.

all work and no play makes the milk trucks cranky









:

I enjoy my breasts as sexual, too.

But of course their sexuality is secondary to their primary purpose of feeding and nurturing children. And I believe in babies and small children getting the breast whenever and wherever they happen to want it. Which means I'm all for women feeling comfortable nursing in public.

My girls never liked having their heads draped, either -- so I do find it annoying and stupid when people complain about mothers nursing in public "without a cover-up." I think if you're the sort to be disturbed by that, you should carry a cover-up at all times so you can drape YOURSELF.

So ... I'm cool with breasts being sexual so long as this doesn't interfere with women's freedom to whip-em-out freely in response to their children's wants and needs. And I LOVE that story about the woman driving her pickup topless. I'm going to try to find it now!


----------



## filiadeluna (Oct 2, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kriket* 
nak

i guess i am one of the people that can multi task my boobies! i love my milky boobs! dh does too as long as they don't milk on him.









i don't have a problem with breasts being sexual, but they are more then just for play! they have a job to do too.









:

nak also









It's like someone saying that *mouths* should be covered in public just because people *can* do sexual things with them.


----------



## ILoveSweetpea (Jan 7, 2009)

I understand what you are saying with the broad shoulders analogy, but I don't think it entirely works. I mean, men don't have to cover their broad shoulders in public, but we have to cover our breasts. There aren't dirty magazines featuring men's broad shoulders, but there are plenty of dirty magazines (like "Jugs") featuring women's breasts. And the broad shoulder's may be briefly explored in the bedroom, but breasts are often focused on quite heavily. There are a lot of physical features that may be attractive in getting a mate and have other purposes as well... but I don't think any of them are as highly sexualized by our culture the way breasts are.

Breasts are almost a sexual obsession in the U.S. culture. I don't think there is a body part that is exactly parallel to the breasts for drawing such an analogy. The boobs stand alone.









Maybe I'm a prude, but the idea of breastfeeding being a "sexual experience" is really disturbing to me. Like, stomach churning kind of disturbing. This is the same horrible feeling I get when considering my breasts as sex objects. It just feels beyond wrong.

I never thought about it, but I think whoever said this may be why some people have trouble nursing toddlers is right. If we didn't make breasts such "highly important" sex objects, I don't think breastfeeding well into the toddler years and beyond would matter to anyone! I think there would be so much more support for breastfeeding beyond infancy if our culture wasn't placing such strong sexual emphasis on breasts.

These are great posts and an interesting discussion. I hope I haven't offended anyone. I'm not judging anyone that has been able to balance the duel roles of their breasts. I think that's great. I just can't do it. This is my own hang-up and my own problem. I don't know how to get past it - and I don't know if I have a desire to get past it. Talking it out has been great, though. Thank you!!


----------



## 2xy (Nov 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ILoveSweetpea* 
I understand what you are saying with the broad shoulders analogy, but I don't think it entirely works. I mean, men don't have to cover their broad shoulders in public, but we have to cover our breasts.

I wasn't really referring to the covering aspect when I wrote what I did.

All I was saying is that a functional body part can still be sexually attractive/responsive outside of its primary function.

As for covering.....yeah, Americans (and some other Westerners) are boob obsessed. In other countries, hair has to be covered. Or entire bodies (think burka). In some African countries, the neck is erotic. The Chinese had fetishes for women's tiny, misshapen, crippled feet for hundreds of years. Every culture has its thing.


----------



## kriket (Nov 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ILoveSweetpea* 
Maybe I'm a prude, but the idea of breastfeeding being a "sexual experience" is really disturbing to me. Like, stomach churning kind of disturbing. This is the same horrible feeling I get when considering my breasts as sex objects. It just feels beyond wrong.

No, I agree. I was reading the "What to expect" and she was talking about how BFing mamas may not be interested in sex because they are having their sexual needs met by breastfeeding







uh-huh. whatev. Maybe she isn't interested in sex because she's had a screaming lovie on her boob all day?

anyways, I think that BFing being sexual gets to close to child molestation. Deriving sexual gratification from your child is creepy.

I can't speak to men and their perversion over boobs. I feel like they've taken out toy and made it dirty. We can't have anything nice.


----------



## ramama (Apr 13, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LadyCatherine185* 
I guess when you think back to early history, where survival was harder, etc. it does make sense. A man was attracted to a woman's breasts and hips BECAUSE they were a sign of fertility, etc. So the reason they are sexualy attractive to men is because they are for feeding.

I agree here. I don't think that breasts are inherently sexual (and many cultures are appalled at what we allow men to do to our breasts) but they are a sign of sexual maturity. Generally, a man is not supposed to be attracted to someone so young that they do not have breasts or widened hips.

I can totally see where OP is coming from, though. I never had huge breasts before children, probably on the smaller side of normal. I didn't think of them as sexual objects really. But especially when I had DD2 and was also nursing DD1, my cup size went up to a DDD and men started staring at me and stopping their cars to talk to me, and making comments that were all so very gross. I though it was so nasty. I wanted to yell "my breasts look like this because I'm breastfeeding, you pervs!" Even women started making comments that I must have had breast augmentation and so forth. Ick. I was so skeeved out by it that I was so so so happy when they went back down to normal size a couple years later.

I guess my point is that are breasts are ours, but we have little to no control over their sexualization (I mean short-term control. Yes, we can work to change society, but I'm talking about now) or how others perceive them. That just seems wrong.


----------



## HisBeautifulWife (Jun 18, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kriket* 

anyways, I think that BFing being sexual gets to close to child molestation. Deriving sexual gratification from your child is creepy.

I don't have any experiences other than what I've read but if a woman can't control how she feels when BF then why is she to blame if she feels horrible about it?

The thought is odd, but this is a real thing that some women deal with and it's not like they are doing it on purpose. It's a sensation, it feels good, they feel guilty and try to get help but their kids end up getting taking away because people think they are pervs.

It's not like they are sitting around trying to be sexual. It just happens I guess.

So what should they do? Stop breastfeeding? Then will they be judged for that?

The whole reason I even looked into this topic is because of some things that people say that I don't understand and they sound sexual to me. I'm not saying that it is, but some things sound like the kid isn't the only one benefiting so that is why I looked into it to see if there was any truth to it.

I still don't have the answer but all I know is that article creeped me out, and I've read things about women trying to get help and people aren't willing to help them, they'd rather turn them in. But now I am starting to question, do they really need help or is what they are feeling natural? And I also wonder if some women are "open" about it, but no one looks down on them because they use different terms and don't quite spell it out using the words sexual pleasure. IDK.


----------



## tayndrewsmama (May 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kriket* 
No, I agree. I was reading the "What to expect" and she was talking about how BFing mamas may not be interested in sex because they are having their sexual needs met by breastfeeding







uh-huh. whatev. Maybe she isn't interested in sex because she's had a screaming lovie on her boob all day?

anyways, I think that BFing being sexual gets to close to child molestation. Deriving sexual gratification from your child is creepy.

I can't speak to men and their perversion over boobs. I feel like they've taken out toy and made it dirty. We can't have anything nice.

What to Expect really says that!?







Wow.

I don't know of anyone who has ever felt that breastfeeding is a sexual experience at all.







It's just not the same at all as......well.....sexual stuff. At least to me it's not. When I have a non-stop nursling.....I don't want anyone or anything else touching them 'cause I am all touched out. It kind of makes me mad really. When I am not nursing all the time....it's different. I don't even know how to explain the difference, but there's a huge one. It's just no where near the same.


----------



## tayndrewsmama (May 25, 2004)

The more I think about this the more I wonder how much of this stuff with shaming women for anyone seeing their breasts is rooted from the same place that many come from with believing that if a married man strays it's the other woman's fault for tempting him. Society still likes to act as though everything that man does is because he has a primal need to do so and it's the dirty tramps in society that make him do that. I think they do have a certain amount of primal instinct, but so do women. Shaming women for breastfeeing in public is just absurd. People aren't as evolved and in control as they like to think.









I don't know a soul who feels that breastfeeding should be in private who isn't religiously conservative. Could some of those teachings be part of this? Don't you dare show your breast, you may tempt my man to stray?


----------



## LionessMom (Mar 12, 2008)

i think it feels good but not in a sexual way. in an intimate way though. yk, intimate between me and baby. it is special and enjoyable but not something i equate with the intimacy i have with DH. i think they say sexual b/c the hormones and brain chemistry response is the same. i get satisfaction out of it, but the satisfaction isnt the same as a good time with DH kwim? but both acts give me the loving good feeling. it is just different. and maybe all those loving hormones make it less likely we will go looking to DH/DP for the same chemical rush. b/c we are filled up. i just wish that the articles and stuff could show this difference. it would go a long way to help people feel better about NIP. esp ext NIP.


----------



## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jeminijad* 

Maybe once I'm past the exclusive nursing 12 times a day I'll be more receptive to it.

Now that I'm not breastfeeding anymore, I'm much more open to my breast being a part of my sex life.


----------



## HisBeautifulWife (Jun 18, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tayndrewsmama* 

I don't know a soul who feels that breastfeeding should be in private who isn't religiously conservative. Could some of those teachings be part of this? Don't you dare show your breast, you may tempt my man to stray?

In some cases, not all. And even if religion is a part of it, it has a lot more to do with modesty than it does to do with temptation. Personally, I have no desire to have my (what I consider to be private) body parts out in the open; it doesn't matter the reason, I am not comfortable with that.

Also, everyone I know IRL has either covered up, or nursed privately no problems. That was just them and what they felt comfortable with; no big deal. And for the people I am thinking of, religion is the last thing on their minds.

And some feel it's a special bonding time between momma and baby. They'd rather that special time be private.

So as another side to your point, I don't know anyone IRL who doesn't nurse discreetly and religion has nothing to do with it.


----------



## rockycrop (Jul 31, 2007)

I read a book over a year ago ("The Descent of Woman") that touched a bit on this subject.
I'm paraphrasing this from memory and this is just the author's theory, but there is a section of the book where she talks about how women lost the ability to orgasm easily from intercourse after we began to walk upright. Men, then needed a way to entice women to have sex with them. So they began to emulate the most intimate, loving relationship a woman has...one with her nursing child. Face to face intercourse became the norm (so men could look in women's eyes as a baby does), breast play became more prevalent, and everything became a bit softer and gentler ("love" if you will).
I don't know how much solid evidence there is for this, but I do find it to be a very interesting hypothesis. And now, whenever I hear someone say that breastfeeding is sexual, I think it could be possible the sex is actually very breastfeeding-like!
I don't know if that will help any of the women who feel a bit conflicted by their breasts being considered sexual objects. I am fairly positive that breastfeeding came before ANY kind of foreplay.
It is also true that breasts are a sign of sexual maturity, it's really all tied together. Sex and bodies and babies...they all depend on one another, it's very hard to take out one thing and leave the rest.


----------



## tayndrewsmama (May 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HisBeautifulWife* 
In some cases, not all. And even if religion is a part of it, it has a lot more to do with modesty than it does to do with temptation. Personally, I have no desire to have my (what I consider to be private) body parts out in the open; it doesn't matter the reason, I am not comfortable with that.

Also, everyone I know IRL has either covered up, or nursed privately no problems. That was just them and what they felt comfortable with; no big deal. And for the people I am thinking of, religion is the last thing on their minds.

And some feel it's a special bonding time between momma and baby. They'd rather that special time be private.

So as another side to your point, I don't know anyone IRL who doesn't nurse discreetly and religion has nothing to do with it.

I am afraid you may have misunderstood my post.







I don't mean that nursing mothers all feel this way. I don't know anyone who doesn't nurse discreetly either. I have never seen or heard of a woman who stripped in public to feed her child.









I am curious if religious beliefs may be a conscious or unconscious reason behind vocal opponents to seeing anyone breastfeed. I couldn't care less what a mother chooses to do while breastfeeding. I do care what others feel they can tell her she should do though. It's her body and her child to make those decisions with.


----------



## Baby Makes 4 (Feb 18, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kriket* 

anyways, I think that BFing being sexual gets to close to child molestation. Deriving sexual gratification from your child is creepy.

I don't think anyone is suggesting that women purposely "get off" on breastfeeding but as a PP pointed out both milk let down and orgasm release the same hormones. So as a breastfeeding Mom perhaps my nursing sessions have fulfilled my daily requirement of feel-good hormone so I am not as interested in having sex. There still isn't anything overtly sexual about breastfeeding but in a round about way it fills that need.

For what it's worth I woke up this morning, looked down at my very full breasts (DD only nurses once at night right now) and thought, "Damn! Those are some nice looking boobs!".







I find my nursing body incredibly sexy.


----------



## pumpkinhead (Sep 15, 2003)

Interesting. I wonder if anyone would ever argue that the clitoris or the vagina are not sexual?

Whoever the pp who said that these things have a dual purpose was bang on. Vaginas birth babies, but they also serve as a piece of essential equipment in making babies. The clitoris/G-spot may help to stimulate contractions in labour and/or lessen the pain of childbirth, but they also serve as a means by which women achieve sexual pleasure. Breasts aren't really that different for many of us.

My nipples are extremely sexual whether I am lactating or not. To be clear, nothing about nursing my baby is even remotely sexual to me. The feelings are alike in some ways though. When I am extremely engorged and the baby latches on and the letdown starts, that feeling of relief is almost euphoric. Not sexual, but still a good feeling.

Nursing my child feels good to me...well, when there's actually milk there. (I'm not a fan of the sensation of a child sucking on a dry breast.) I think it is meant to feel good for most people. We are designed for it to feel good. Not sexual, but good.


----------



## HisBeautifulWife (Jun 18, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tayndrewsmama* 
I am afraid you may have misunderstood my post.







I don't mean that nursing mothers all feel this way. I don't know anyone who doesn't nurse discreetly either. I have never seen or heard of a woman who stripped in public to feed her child.









I am curious if religious beliefs may be a conscious or unconscious reason behind vocal opponents to seeing anyone breastfeed. I couldn't care less what a mother chooses to do while breastfeeding. I do care what others feel they can tell her she should do though. It's her body and her child to make those decisions with.

You don't have to strip naked to not be discrete. I've seen lots of non-discrete bf pictures that were taken in public places. But everyone has a different definition on discretion.

I'm sure that religious beliefs have something to do with it for some people. But I can think of lots of other reasons that people would feel that way. People do need to respect that they can't tell someone else what to do with their body, but respect is a two way street.

I feel that mutual respect should run rampant. I know that's not popular in this society, but it would help.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pumpkinhead* 

Nursing my child feels good to me...well, when there's actually milk there. (I'm not a fan of the sensation of a child sucking on a dry breast.) I think it is meant to feel good for most people. We are designed for it to feel good. Not sexual, but good.

See this is where some of my questions came from. I think stuff like this should be discussed freely so that women can understand.

What is the purpose of having a child "nurse" if there is no milk? What is that doing for the mother, and what is that doing for the child? I am not talking about when you just have the baby or if you are waiting for the milk. I am talking about when you don't have any milk, and you know it, but you bring your kid to suckle. I don't get that so with all due respect, someone please explain it to me.


----------



## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HisBeautifulWife* 

What is the purpose of having a child "nurse" if there is no milk? What is that doing for the mother, and what is that doing for the child? I am not talking about when you just have the baby or if you are waiting for the milk. I am talking about when you don't have any milk, and you know it, but you bring your kid to suckle. I don't get that so with all due respect, someone please explain it to me.

Sometimes your child has emptied the breast, but still needs to suck (for example, hasn't fallen asleep yet, but needs to nurse to fall asleep). Sometimes a mother is pregnant and the older child is still nursing, even though the milk has dried up. The child is still getting comfort from it. Some children have high sucking needs that have little to do with nutrition - which is why so many babies and toddlers use pacifiers or suck their thumbs.


----------



## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HisBeautifulWife* 
You don't have to strip naked to not be discrete. I've seen lots of non-discrete bf pictures that were taken in public places. But everyone has a different definition on discretion.

I feel that mutual respect should run rampant. I know that's not popular in this society, but it would help.

What do you consider non-discrete then? Really? Cause I have never seen, pictures or otherwise, people being overtly non-discrete nursing. Some people consider it in-discrete to not cover your baby up with a blanket so you are completely covered. I find that rediculous. I am not going to make me and my baby uncomfortable while feeding him so you don't get (general you) disturbed by the sight of some skin. Honestly unless you have both boobs hanging out and your shirt up to your chin (as we all sometimes do at home







) while at the park I don't see a problem with seeing some skin.

As for mutual respect. Yea it should go both ways. The problem is, I don't necessarily agree with what you might think is respectful and vice versa.

As for the breast being sexual, I have no problem with that. Never have. And umm I have never ever ever felt letdown so I don't understand the comparison of that to an orgasm.

ETA: Oh yea.. and DH has told me over and over that it is legal for woman to be topless in Oregon and he wishes they would do it more often. hehe.. I have never checked into this however.


----------



## ILoveSweetpea (Jan 7, 2009)

This is a great discussion, and it's really helping me sort out my feelings on the issue. I hope at least a few others find it cathartic.

I still don't think there is a perfect analogy for breasts. I hear what the PP is saying with the vagina and clitoris, and they are good points. But the vagina is biologically required for babymaking (if you ignore modern medicine that can bypass the vagina, that is). The clitoris is important for orgasm. I have no problem with the idea that body parts have multiple functions. I just don't get the role of breasts in sexual gratification. They may function to advertise we are of a sexual age, they may attract a mate... but they are biologically useless in sex. They are not necessary. Their primary biological purpose is breastfeeding. I may not be making sense... I think I am talking in circles. I blame a lack of sleep due to a frequent night nurser.









I am not trying to convince anyone that I am "right"... I don't believe I am "right" as this is just a personal feeling. Like I said, it is my own hang-up. I don't know why I have such a hard time wrapping my head around and dealing with breasts as sexual objects. This conversation has been helpful, but I haven't really changed my views either. I'm glad that at least a few of you do understand where I am coming from and have feelings along the same line.

Oh, btw, I have never felt letdown either. I've always had low milk supply. Enough that DS gets breastmilk, but not so much that I am engorged or that I feel much of anything as far as the milk traveling. The primary sensation for my in breastfeeding lately is "ouch". (DS is teething! Haha!) So maybe if I had ever felt letdown, I would be able to understand the association with sexual feelings better... but as it stands I just don't. And like I said, the association of breastfeeding with sexual feedings is highly disturbing to me. But this could be my own narrow-mindedness or lack of understanding. But, for the life of me, there is just no way I can "go there". I want breastfeeding and sexual feelings to be miles apart. In different states. With no forwarding address.









Thanks for all of your great insights... each of these posts have been intelligent and thoughtful! Thank you!

ETA: I think women should be allowed to be topless anywhere that men are allowed to be topless. We both have nipples. Ours are just useful. (For breastfeeding, not sex.) This may seem incongruous with my prudish attitude towards breasts as sex objects... but in my mind it makes perfect sense. If the breasts aren't sex objects and are just what I believe they are supposed to be (baby/child feeding devices) then there is no reason they should be hidden. Religious reasons of modesty are a separate issue entirely (again, in my mind.) I personally would never go topless, but I don't see a big deal about other women going topless. I think it'd be great - especially on hot summer days it would probably feel refreshing.

ETA again: I totally hear what a PP was saying about changing views after breastfeeding is over. That could very well happen to me. I didn't think too much about this before I started breastfeeding, so I bet it won't be such a big issue to me when my breastfeeding days are over.
.


----------



## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ILoveSweetpea* 
Oh, btw, I have never felt letdown either. I've always had low milk supply. Enough that DS gets breastmilk, but not so much that I am engorged or that I feel much of anything as far as the milk traveling. The primary sensation for my in breastfeeding lately is "ouch". (DS is teething! Haha!) So maybe if I had ever felt letdown, I would be able to understand the association with sexual feelings better... but as it stands I just don't. And like I said, the association of breastfeeding with sexual feedings is highly disturbing to me. But this could be my own narrow-mindedness or lack of understanding. But, for the life of me, there is just no way I can "go there". I want breastfeeding and sexual feelings to be miles apart. In different states. With no forwarding address.









Thanks for all of your great insights... each of these posts have been intelligent and thoughtful! Thank you!

I don't think low supply has anything to do with it cause I don't have low supply and when I was nursing exclusively I had overactive letdown. So I just think it is the person.

As for breast not being part of sex.. if that were true.. you wouldn't get sexual pleasure from your breast being stimulated. I know some woman who can orgasm from that alone! They may not be "necessary" for sex.. but they sure make it a whole lot more fun!


----------



## ILoveSweetpea (Jan 7, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aniT* 
I don't think low supply has anything to do with it cause I don't have low supply and when I was nursing exclusively I had overactive letdown. So I just think it is the person.

As for breast not being part of sex.. if that were true.. you wouldn't get sexual pleasure from your breast being stimulated. I know some woman who can orgasm from that alone! They may not be "necessary" for sex.. but they sure make it a whole lot more fun!

Good point about the letdown. I didn't realize it wasn't connected to supply.

Like I said in my original post, though, I am really not that into breasts. I've never gotten much (if any) sexual pleasure from them. To me, kisses on the neck feel more stimulating than anything DH could or would do to my breasts.

I think women can technically orgasm from anything. (Men too, probably.) I mean, I would guess many of us has experienced an orgasm while sleeping... and that was purely the mind doing the stimulating! Some people with foot fetishes can orgasm with just foot stimulation.

It's all opinions and perspectives, though... much of what I say could be interpreted to be an argument for either side.

I guess what it comes down to is that I don't want to be engaging in something that could be considered a sex act with my child. Breasts are highly sexualized, including the fact that lots of men like to "suck" on women's breasts. I can't even type that without it disturbing me! Again, so so much of this could be my own issues/fears/hangups.


----------



## pumpkinhead (Sep 15, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HisBeautifulWife* 

What is the purpose of having a child "nurse" if there is no milk? What is that doing for the mother, and what is that doing for the child? I am not talking about when you just have the baby or if you are waiting for the milk. I am talking about when you don't have any milk, and you know it, but you bring your kid to suckle. I don't get that so with all due respect, someone please explain it to me.

For me, it has to do with the weaning process which probably is pretty OT, but I'll explain anyway. My second child has always nursed for reasons other than hunger. Sad or hurt? Glean comfort from the boob. Happy and excited? Celebrate with a boob. For my first, it was about hunger only.

So this is new for me too.









This boy has always been a child who was perfectly content to go on sucking even after the milk was gone and he had a full belly even as a tiny newborn. He would never pop off when he'd had his fill, I have pretty much always had to remove him. A minute or two of this is fine, but after that, I get squirrley.

I don't bring him to the breast to suckle, he asks, begs and demands it. He's still getting something as I can still hand express drops, but he's not getting ounces. For him I think it's similar to a child sucking a thumb or chewing a blanket. He gains comfort from it.

Right now, we compromise. He gets to nurse while I count to 20. When I hit twenty, he needs to be done. Sometimes this happens amicably and sometimes it doesn't. It's definitely a process. I hope that answers your question.


----------



## pumpkinhead (Sep 15, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ILoveSweetpea* 
I just don't get the role of breasts in sexual gratification. They may function to advertise we are of a sexual age, they may attract a mate... *but they are biologically useless in sex.* They are not necessary. Their primary biological purpose is breastfeeding. I may not be making sense... I think I am talking in circles. I blame a lack of sleep due to a frequent night nurser.







.


Re: the bold, I don't think this is entirely correct. For many women, the nipples are a huge erogenous zone. Having the nipples stimulated heightens the ability to orgasm. Orgasm increases the ability of a woman to concieve. Not biologically useless in sex







.


----------



## ILoveSweetpea (Jan 7, 2009)

I wanted to add that another reason someone may nurse when there is no milk is to get the supply up. In my early nursing days I had to nurse every other hour, even if there wasn't much (if any) milk in order to get my supply level up as high as possible.


----------



## pumpkinhead (Sep 15, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ILoveSweetpea* 
I wanted to add that another reason someone may nurse when there is no milk is to get the supply up. In my early nursing days I had to nurse every other hour, even if there wasn't much (if any) milk in order to get my supply level up as high as possible.


Very good point.

In the beginning, we all bring our babies to the breast to suckle even though there is no milk.

Nursing with a milk supply is much more comfortable for most of us. THe baby doesn't have to suck as vigourously and there is a pause when the baby swallows so it's not constant sucking.


----------



## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ILoveSweetpea* 
Again, so so much of this could be my own issues/fears/hangups.

I think you are probably right there.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ILoveSweetpea* 
I wanted to add that another reason someone may nurse when there is no milk is to get the supply up. In my early nursing days I had to nurse every other hour, even if there wasn't much (if any) milk in order to get my supply level up as high as possible.

I have no knowledge of when the babe empties the breast. If he isn't done, he isn't done.


----------



## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ILoveSweetpea* 
Breasts are highly sexualized, including the fact that lots of men like to "suck" on women's breasts. I can't even type that without it disturbing me! Again, so so much of this could be my own issues/fears/hangups.

Gently, I do think this has to do with your hang ups. I think it's pretty normal for some women to not like their breasts to be touched while they're lactating (although I think it's just as normal for women to like to have their breasts touched and even suckled sexually by their partners while lactating or not). It's fine to not enjoy sexual breast play even when not lactating, but the fact that you get so skeeved by the thought of something that's really pretty standard in the modern sexual lexicon does seem a little extreme to me. In any case, plenty of men enjoy having their nipple stimulated as a part of sex as well, so I don't think this has much to do with the sexualization of breasts - breasts are sexual in some contexts and not in others. You mentioned getting kisses on the neck - the neck isn't generally seen as a sex organ, but it doesn't mean it can't be enjoyed in that way.


----------



## HisBeautifulWife (Jun 18, 2008)

Thank you ladies so much for answering that. I'd been wanting to ask but I didn't want anyone to get all upset.

So it comforts the babies- got it. But what about the mother?

If one is used to that feeling as a _"oooweee feel good"_ feeling how is one supposed to turn that off because it's not like you are feeling it on purpose? I think this is one reason some women never try because they can't wrap their minds around how this works.

If it feels good are you supposed to be ashamed? Does that make you a bad person? Or do you just say, yes it feels good, and it feels good in the same way but its different because I'm not thinking about it like that?


----------



## claddaghmom (May 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kriket* 
nak

i guess i am one of the people that can multi task my boobies! i love my milky boobs! dh does too as long as they don't milk on him.









i don't have a problem with breasts being sexual, but they are more then just for play! they have a job to do too. i find hands sexy but i don't think everyone should wear gloves to protect my delicate sensibilities.

all work and no play makes the milk trucks cranky

I totally agree!

How come hands can be sexual and perform sexual acts....but no one cares if we see hands in public!

Or ears

Or legs

Or feet

etc etc etc

I have no problems "switching" between the two functions of my breasts and I find the anti-breastfeeding arguments to be quite patriarchal.


----------



## claddaghmom (May 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HisBeautifulWife* 
Thank you ladies so much for answering that. I'd been wanting to ask but I didn't want anyone to get all upset.

So it comforts the babies- got it. But what about the mother?

If one is used to that feeling as a _"oooweee feel good"_ feeling how is one supposed to turn that off because it's not like you are feeling it on purpose? I think this is one reason some women never try because they can't wrap their minds around how this works.

If it feels good are you supposed to be ashamed? Does that make you a bad person? Or do you just say, yes it feels good, and it feels good in the same way but its different because I'm not thinking about it like that?

I have heard this before and will be completely honest: I have NO idea.

I have never felt anything even slightly sexual when BFing my daughter.

In fact, a few times I've had to latch her on to keep her asleep while we were DTD














and it was not even related to what we were doing.

So obviously women are out there with sensitive nerve endings...or perhaps confused nerve endings? And I never know what to say to them.


----------



## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

*So it comforts the babies- got it. But what about the mother?*

Generally, mother is comforted because kid isn't screaming







. Or, she feels like she wants to jump out of her skin because it's annoying, but mpthers tend to do a lot of unpleasant things because their kids need it (like change a new eater's diaper. Ick.)

*If one is used to that feeling as a "oooweee feel good" feeling how is one supposed to turn that off because it's not like you are feeling it on purpose? I think this is one reason some women never try because they can't wrap their minds around how this works.*

It is a completely different feeling (for me) than a sexual one. Like, if my husband kisses my neck, it's way different than if one of my kids does. It's not really a conscious turning off the feeling.


----------



## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

About the mutual-respect thing: Some folks (it mainly seems to be conservative religious folks) feel public breastfeeding is only discrete if you drape a blanket over your baby or young child's head.

Since my girls didn't like having their heads draped, I would just lift my top and nurse them. I saw this as discrete because my breast and any exposed skin was usually covered by my nursing child. Someone might occasionally get a glimpse of something during latch on or latch off -- but it would only be for a moment.

I guess I still should have brought a cover-up for anyone who wated to drape their own head while I was breastfeeding, huh?

I guess the mutual-respect idea seems slanted in favor of the adults. The people who promoted covering-up felt I should either "make" my child cover up, or refuse to nurse her in public.


----------



## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mammal_mama* 
I guess I still should have brought a cover-up for anyone who wated to drape their own head while I was breastfeeding, huh?


----------



## tayndrewsmama (May 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HisBeautifulWife* 
Thank you ladies so much for answering that. I'd been wanting to ask but I didn't want anyone to get all upset.

So it comforts the babies- got it. But what about the mother?

If one is used to that feeling as a _"oooweee feel good"_ feeling how is one supposed to turn that off because it's not like you are feeling it on purpose? I think this is one reason some women never try because they can't wrap their minds around how this works.

If it feels good are you supposed to be ashamed? Does that make you a bad person? Or do you just say, yes it feels good, and it feels good in the same way but its different because I'm not thinking about it like that?

It's just not the same. You are mentally in a different place. It's not really something that can easily be put into words. You just have to be a nursing mama to understand the difference. KWIM? Once you your life takes you to that point you will understand better.


----------



## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tayndrewsmama* 
It's just not the same. You are mentally in a different place. It's not really something that can easily be put into words. You just have to be a nursing mama to understand the difference. KWIM? Once you your life takes you to that point you will understand better.

Think about it like this - do you feel all hot and bothered at the gynecologist when s/he is examining your vulva/vagina or demonstrating how to do a breast exam? I sure don't. As tayndrewsmama says, it's just not the same.


----------



## tayndrewsmama (May 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eclipse* 
Think about it like this - do you feel all hot and bothered at the gynecologist when s/he is examining your vulva/vagina or demonstrating how to do a breast exam? I sure don't. As tayndrewsmama says, it's just not the same.









: Exactly. I think something that people who haven't nursed at all can't understand the difference because they haven't experienced it. Once you are can understand the difference you can also begin to understand the extreme offense that nursing mamas take when someone suggests that they are being inappropriate by nursing in public.


----------



## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Let's keep in mind that while it's fine to talk about your own personal level of comfort when it comes to nursing and discretion, we don't host threads that state or hint at the idea that all women should cover up, be discreet, nurse away from others, etc. MDC hosts conversations on successful breastfeeding, and we need to recognize that every woman is going to nurse in the way that works best for her.


----------



## claddaghmom (May 30, 2008)

Where are all these women who flash people?









This came up elsewhere...where people were justifying their request that women be discreet when BFing because some huge number of women are so flagrant about it.

I have never in my life seen another woman's boobs in public while BFing. Ever. Anywhere.

I've seen plenty in general in public, but never attached to BFing.







:

You listen to these people talk about "those flamboyant breastfeeding women" and you get this weird image, as if these flabby, lactating, tired mothers are chasing after these poor public victims, spraying them or something. I dunno. Weird.


----------



## ramama (Apr 13, 2007)

I agree that other people's comfort with my BFing is not even on my radar. And they _should_ be quiet about their discomfort. My child has a right to eat. So far as I can tell the right to not be uncomfortable is not guaranteed anywhere.


----------



## HisBeautifulWife (Jun 18, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tayndrewsmama* 
It's just not the same. You are mentally in a different place. It's not really something that can easily be put into words. You just have to be a nursing mama to understand the difference. KWIM? Once you your life takes you to that point you will understand better.

For some women it does feel the same whether they want it to or not. Seeing how this is supposed to be dealt with as for what is normal and what is not could have some impact on my future decisions. Thus the reason I want to discuss it.

I get that some women feel nothing, it hurts, it's not the same. But that's not true for everyone thus the reason this is interesting to me. A person doesn't necessarily have to be thinking sexually to experience sexual feelings.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eclipse* 
Think about it like this - do you feel all hot and bothered at the gynecologist when s/he is examining your vulva/vagina or demonstrating how to do a breast exam? I sure don't. As tayndrewsmama says, it's just not the same.

As for the gyno, that's not even the same motions, at least not from my experience. The hands and tools don't do the same things as other acts. Though I'm sure some women might have reactions to that, but I can't say that I would be able to make those comparisons. Whereas on the other hand, suckling is suckling.

I get that for most it's totally different. But I guess I wanted to discuss the biology of it all and how someone mentioned getting the same hormones and feelings from both acts.

And to avoid anyone wasting their time getting upset and flaming things that I've heard and read time and time again, allow me to quote myself.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HisBeautifulWife* 

Of course no one has to do that, but then again no one has to be quiet if someone is making them uncomfortable.

I know it's a touchy topic. To each her own. I am not commenting to argue. I am commenting to understand what I can and answering questions that were directly asked. Nowhere did I criticize anyones choices. So let's keep it calm like it has been as I have no interest in bf arguments and that is not the point of this thread.


----------



## claddaghmom (May 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HisBeautifulWife* 
For some women it does feel the same whether they want it to or not. Seeing how this is supposed to be dealt with as for what is normal and what is not could have some impact on my future decisions. Thus the reason I want to discuss it.

I get that some women feel nothing, it hurts, it's not the same. But that's not true for everyone thus the reason this is interesting to me. A person doesn't necessarily have to be thinking sexually to experience sexual feelings.

Have you tried changing foreplay? I noticed you mentioned that the "act" was the same so it had the same feelings/emotions attached to it. Maybe changing it up a bit will help your body feel a boundary of sorts?


----------



## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HisBeautifulWife* 
I know it's a touchy topic. To each her own. I am not commenting to argue. I am commenting to understand what I can and answering questions that were directly asked. Nowhere did I criticize anyones choices. So let's keep it calm like it has been as I have no interest in bf arguments and that is not the point of this thread.

You wanted everyone to be mutual respectful. I asked what you considered mutual respect. Your answer was unrealistic therefor your wish for mutual respect will not happen as you are not being understanding or respectful (If you feel you don't have to be quiet) but you are demanding respect for your comfort level in return.


----------



## tayndrewsmama (May 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HisBeautifulWife* 
For some women it does feel the same whether they want it to or not. Seeing how this is supposed to be dealt with as for what is normal and what is not could have some impact on my future decisions. Thus the reason I want to discuss it.

Well, perhaps you should be asking those rare few who get sexually aroused while nursing how they deal with it. This thread wasn't started about that. Maybe another thread with a title of "If you are sexually aroused when breastfeeding, how do you handle it?"

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HisBeautifulWife* 
I get that some women feel nothing, it hurts, it's not the same. But that's not true for everyone thus the reason this is interesting to me. A person doesn't necessarily have to be thinking sexually to experience sexual feelings.

I am not so sure you do get it really. I have been raped and while those times were a flagrant sex act, I was not aroused. I have had my father accidentally elbow me in a breast and I was not aroused. Need I go on?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HisBeautifulWife* 
As for the gyno, that's not even the same motions, at least not from my experience. The hands and tools don't do the same things as other acts. Though I'm sure some women might have reactions to that, but I can't say that I would be able to make those comparisons. Whereas on the other hand, suckling is suckling.

IME, and I have had a enough, men do not 'play' with breasts the way a nursing infant or child suckles. It's not the same at all.


----------



## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HisBeautifulWife* 
Seeing how this is supposed to be dealt with as for what is normal and what is not could have some impact on my future decisions. Thus the reason I want to discuss it.

Wait, am I understanding that you haven't breastfed a child? Are you asking to help you research making a decision?


----------



## HisBeautifulWife (Jun 18, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aniT* 
You wanted everyone to be mutual respectful. I asked what you considered mutual respect. Your answer was unrealistic therefor your wish for mutual respect will not happen as you are not being understanding or respectful (If you feel you don't have to be quiet) but you are demanding respect for your comfort level in return.

Actually my answer was to the two posts that asked what I considered to be discrete. That's what I was talking about. I wasn't saying this is what you must do to have respect...that's silly!
I know what I said, and I know what I meant. I don't always directly quote; especially when its two different posts. You can either choose to accept my clarification, or not. This is online, not face to face, sometimes things are misunderstood, but like I said, this is what I meant so take it or leave it. It's really not that serious and as you should be able to tell I'm not trying to argue and I'm not going to, but I will clarify.

I think I've gotten all of the answers I'm going to get on the first two pages. We are winding down now. Thanks everyone for the 411.


----------



## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HisBeautifulWife* 
You don't have to strip naked to not be discrete. I've seen lots of non-discrete bf pictures that were taken in public places. But everyone has a different definition on discretion.

I feel that mutual respect should run rampant. I know that's not popular in this society, but it would help.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *aniT* 
What do you consider non-discrete then? Really? Cause I have never seen, pictures or otherwise, people being overtly non-discrete nursing. Some people consider it in-discrete to not cover your baby up with a blanket so you are completely covered. I find that rediculous. I am not going to make me and my baby uncomfortable while feeding him so you don't get (general you) disturbed by the sight of some skin. Honestly unless you have both boobs hanging out and your shirt up to your chin (as we all sometimes do at home







) while at the park I don't see a problem with seeing some skin.

As for mutual respect. Yea it should go both ways. The problem is, I don't necessarily agree with what you might think is respectful and vice versa.



Quote:


Originally Posted by *HisBeautifulWife* 
Actually my answer was to the two posts that asked what I considered to be discrete. That's what I was talking about. I wasn't saying this is what you must do to have respect...that's silly!

I think I've gotten all of the answers I'm going to get on the first two pages. We are winding down now. Thanks everyone for the 411.

Your response was to this post. Both of which mention discretion and mutual respect hand in hand.


----------



## Altair (May 1, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HisBeautifulWife* 
I understand that some people feel no obligation to be considerate of others feelings in terms of making a situation uncomfortable. I am not at all saying that's you, I just know that a lot of people would say- who cares!

Women who do try to understand that others may not be comfortable might *wear clothing that makes nursing so discrete that no one knows they are doing it, they might wear some sort of tank under their shirt so they they can pull that down and lift up their other shirt so that their back and stomach isn't hanging out, they may try to nurse in a low traffic area, and last but not least if they want to they will wear a cover but you don't necessarily have to cover to be discrete.*

Of course no one has to do that, but then again no one has to be quiet if someone is making them uncomfortable.

And sometimes baby is screaming in hunger, and I'm hot, and he's sweating like a little piggy, and I could give a crap if my belly or back or cleavage is showing. And god forbid my baby is pulling off and on the nipple when going through a growth spurt and you see my nipple....

I'm glad I don't care. Mothering would be so much harder if I had to limit my public interactions to "low traffic areas" or wear 2 layers of clothing throughout the summer or piss my baby off with a blanket over his head. I'm still a person who has the right to enjoy every public social sphere.


----------



## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Altair* 
And sometimes baby is screaming in hunger, and I'm hot, and he's sweating like a little piggy, and I could give a crap if my belly or back or cleavage is showing. And god forbid my baby is pulling off and on the nipple when going through a growth spurt and you see my nipple....

I'm glad I don't care. Mothering would be so much harder if I had to limit my public interactions to "low traffic areas" or wear 2 layers of clothing throughout the summer or piss my baby off with a blanket over his head. I'm still a person who has the right to enjoy every public social sphere.

Hehe.. Maybe we should all go nurse our babes in the bathroom.


----------



## tayndrewsmama (May 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HisBeautifulWife* 
Actually my answer was to the two posts that asked what I considered to be discrete. That's what I was talking about. I wasn't saying this is what you must do to have respect...that's silly!
I know what I said, and I know what I meant. I don't always directly quote; especially when its two different posts. You can either choose to accept my clarification, or not. This is online, not face to face, sometimes things are misunderstood, but like I said, this is what I meant so take it or leave it. It's really not that serious and as you should be able to tell I'm not trying to argue and I'm not going to, but I will clarify.

I think I've gotten all of the answers I'm going to get on the first two pages. We are winding down now. Thanks everyone for the 411.

I am just quoting this so aniT will hopefully get a notification of this and know that you edited your post. Otherwise, she would have no idea that you had more to say regarding this since MDC doesn't notify on edited posts.


----------



## Altair (May 1, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HisBeautifulWife* 

As for the gyno, that's not even the same motions, at least not from my experience. The hands and tools don't do the same things as other acts. Though I'm sure some women might have reactions to that, but I can't say that I would be able to make those comparisons. Whereas on the other hand, suckling is suckling.


Could not be further from the truth.

An adult man or woman sucking on a breast is licking, sucking the nipple, playing with the nipple, etc. A baby has a VERY different way of latching on-- the entire areola is covered, the nipple is in the back of his throat, his tongue comes from the nipple to the areola to "milk" out the milk from the sinuses while the lower jaw pumps up and down, all of which is coordinated with swallowing and breathing.

You could not teach a grown man to do this if you tried. Try it. He'll be able to get milk somehow, but it will not feel remotely the same, nor will he get as much milk as a baby would.

And the difference in sexual feeling is so profound you can't really explain it. A baby nursing (after the initial few weeks of pain) feels good in a sensual, relaxed, loving way. We are given that flood of oxytocin at letdown for an important biological reason-- breastfeeding is SUPPOSSED to feel good so that we keep doing it and don't starve/ignore our hungry babies. I've described the feeling of having really engorged breasts get emptied by the baby as a combination of having to pee REALLY badly and then letting it all out and the feeling you get after an orgasm when you just want to cuddle and fall asleep.









BTW- it rarely feels like this in public, b/c you're not as relaxed. Which means you don't letdown easily and baby gets mad b/c he's not grtting as much milk.

If people stopped judging nursing moms and moms stopped worrying about every square inch of skin showing, then it'd be a lot easier to let down every time.


----------



## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tayndrewsmama* 
I am just quoting this so aniT will hopefully get a notification of this and know that you edited your post. Otherwise, she would have no idea that you had more to say regarding this since MDC doesn't notify on edited posts.









That clarification was completely unclear.







.

I still see the discretion and mutual respect going hand in hand and I have seen nothing that "clarifies" this any differently.


----------



## tayndrewsmama (May 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aniT* 
That clarification was completely unclear.







.

I still see the discretion and mutual respect going hand in hand and I have seen nothing that "clarifies" this any differently.

I didn't say I understood it, but I just wanted you be aware since it was directed towards you.









I agree. There hasn't been anything that shows respect towards the mother/child nursing relationship. Just the old don't let me see it stuff.


----------



## tayndrewsmama (May 25, 2004)

HisBeautifulWife, you seem to be demanding an explanation on something that is really pretty rare and not something that many here could even begin to explain because it is far from the norm. You might be better off googling to see if there is some sort of support network for situations like that. I guess I don't see why you are so concerned about something is not too likely to occur.


----------



## HisBeautifulWife (Jun 18, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Altair* 
Could not be further from the truth.

An adult man or woman sucking on a breast is licking, sucking the nipple, playing with the nipple, etc. A baby has a VERY different way of latching on-- the entire areola is covered, the nipple is in the back of his throat, his tongue comes from the nipple to the areola to "milk" out the milk from the sinuses while the lower jaw pumps up and down, all of which is coordinated with swallowing and breathing.

You could not teach a grown man to do this if you tried. Try it. He'll be able to get milk somehow, but it will not feel remotely the same, nor will he get as much milk as a baby would.

And the difference in sexual feeling is so profound you can't really explain it. A baby nursing (after the initial few weeks of pain) feels good in a sensual, relaxed, loving way. We are given that flood of oxytocin at letdown for an important biological reason-- breastfeeding is SUPPOSSED to feel good so that we keep doing it and don't starve/ignore our hungry babies. I've described the feeling of having really engorged breasts get emptied by the baby as a combination of having to pee REALLY badly and then letting it all out and the feeling you get after an orgasm when you just want to cuddle and fall asleep.









That is helpful. Thank you.

See, I think I had a few different things going on in my mind at the same time and this just helped me realize that.

1) My main thing was the feeling/action
2) Then I was wondering if women should be shamed for feeling naturally good in a different way. Because sometimes people don't talk about the good feelings unless they are worried that they are doing something wrong. So I was wondering why is it bad to say that if it's natural.
3) Last I had my "but what if it's not" thoughts.

That's why I was trying to understand the science behind it all because what I'd read thus far was really over the top. It had some good reasons for saying it was sexual but then it went way over there into _what the heck_ land. But I didn't take it as the same kind of sexual that most people think about when you say that word. But it left me very, very confused.

I know I didn't communicate that because I just realized the full picture of my thoughts from your post. That might not make sense but my mind jumps from thought to thought to thought and sometimes I mix it all together without saying that's what I am doing.


----------



## tayndrewsmama (May 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HisBeautifulWife* 
That is helpful. Thank you.

See, I think I had a few different things going on in my mind at the same time and this just helped me realize that.

1) My main thing was the feeling/action
2) Then I was wondering if women should be shamed for feeling naturally good in a different way. Because sometimes people don't talk about the good feelings unless they are worried that they are doing something wrong. So I was wondering why is it bad to say that if it's natural.
3) Last I had my "but what if it's not" thoughts.

That's why I was trying to understand the science behind it all because what I'd read thus far was really over the top. It had some good reasons for saying it was sexual but then it went way over there into _what the heck_ land. But I didn't take it as the same kind of sexual that most people think about when you say that word. But it left me very, very confused.

I know I didn't communicate that because I just realized the full picture of my thoughts from your post. That might not make sense but my mind jumps from thought to thought to thought and sometimes I mix it all together without saying that's what I am doing.

After reading this, it sounds to me like perhaps you just need to work on separating any sexual connotations you have with the breasts from breastfeeding. Thing can feel good without feeling good in _that_ way. KWIM?


----------



## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HisBeautifulWife* 
That is helpful. Thank you.

See, I think I had a few different things going on in my mind at the same time and this just helped me realize that.

1) My main thing was the feeling/action
2) Then I was wondering if women should be shamed for feeling naturally good in a different way. Because sometimes people don't talk about the good feelings unless they are worried that they are doing something wrong. So I was wondering why is it bad to say that if it's natural.
3) Last I had my "but what if it's not" thoughts.

That's why I was trying to understand the science behind it all because what I'd read thus far was really over the top. It had some good reasons for saying it was sexual but then it went way over there into _what the heck_ land. But I didn't take it as the same kind of sexual that most people think about when you say that word. But it left me very, very confused.

I know I didn't communicate that because I just realized the full picture of my thoughts from your post. That might not make sense but my mind jumps from thought to thought to thought and sometimes I mix it all together without saying that's what I am doing.

I am just curious why you are researching something that is unlikely to happen? Most people don't get any type of sexual feeling at all from nursing. Most times my thoughts are, are you don't yet! (hehe at 2.5 I am!) Usually as you nurse your nipples get kinda hardened off so you don't feel all that much, until they bite you.


----------



## JollyGG (Oct 1, 2008)

Men urinate with the same organ they have intercourse with. We aren't confusing the two different functions and we don't deny the importance of each separate function. Penis' are undeniably sexual, they are just as undeniable used for the transportation of waste. As long as the functions aren't happening at the same time no one really has a problem with it.

Why can't breasts serve two functions as well and why can't we celebrate both functions as special, wonderful, and necessary. My breasts are an important part of foreplay in our house. They are also the source of my children's nurturing and nutrition for the first part of their lives. I can except both functions as wholly separate and important.


----------



## HisBeautifulWife (Jun 18, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tayndrewsmama* 
I guess I don't see why you are so concerned about something is not too likely to occur.

Because I read a very long article that seemed to be well referenced that said that BF is a sexual act and that women should *not* be ashamed by that and they should embrace it for the health of their babies and for themselves. However, as the article went on , it started to say some things that were quite disturbing to me. So I would never, ever share that article with anyone.

Then I started reading about women who felt guilty for whatever reasons they had, and the terrible reactions people had to it.

Then I thought back to the science that was in that article and I began to wonder if they couldn't help it then why were they getting blamed.

Then I started thinking about the feelings. Then my mind was trying to process all of this. On top of not understanding why people nursed when there was no milk (thanks for the explanations on that!)

So that's why. People say it's not sexual but sometimes sources say it is (but I don't think they mean it like that, they mean it in a different way that people dont talk about) so I was trying to sort it all out.


----------



## claddaghmom (May 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HisBeautifulWife* 
That is helpful. Thank you.

See, I think I had a few different things going on in my mind at the same time and this just helped me realize that.

1) My main thing was the feeling/action
2) Then I was wondering if women should be shamed for feeling naturally good in a different way. Because sometimes people don't talk about the good feelings unless they are worried that they are doing something wrong. So I was wondering why is it bad to say that if it's natural.
3) Last I had my "but what if it's not" thoughts.

That's why I was trying to understand the science behind it all because what I'd read thus far was really over the top. It had some good reasons for saying it was sexual but then it went way over there into _what the heck_ land. But I didn't take it as the same kind of sexual that most people think about when you say that word. But it left me very, very confused.

I know I didn't communicate that because I just realized the full picture of my thoughts from your post. That might not make sense but my mind jumps from thought to thought to thought and sometimes I mix it all together without saying that's what I am doing.


Wow, it sounds like you might have to work through some things about the breasts and sexuality in general. I think by coming from a mindset that the primary purpose of a woman's breast is to provide sexual interaction with her partner, you are seeing breastfeeding as some strange sexual act.

I would be very, very confused, too.

This reminds me of when my 4yo sister learned that my baby was going to come out of my vagina. She got a horrified look on her face and said, "but peepee comes out there! the baby will get peepee on her head!"


----------



## tayndrewsmama (May 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HisBeautifulWife* 
Because I read a very long article that seemed to be well referenced that said that BF is a sexual act and that women should *not* be ashamed by that and they should embrace it for the health of their babies and for themselves. However, as the article went on , it started to say some things that were quite disturbing to me. So I would never, ever share that article with anyone.

Then I started reading about women who felt guilty for whatever reasons they had, and the terrible reactions people had to it.

Then I thought back to the science that was in that article and I began to wonder if they couldn't help it then why were they getting blamed.

Then I started thinking about the feelings. Then my mind was trying to process all of this. On top of not understanding why people nursed when there was no milk (thanks for the explanations on that!)

So that's why. People say it's not sexual but sometimes sources say it is (but I don't think they mean it like that, they mean it in a different way that people dont talk about) so I was trying to sort it all out.

Well, I am pretty big on citing your sources, so naturally I am going to ask you to post it. If you feel that you can't, then you might want to evaluate the legitimacy of the source in the first place. Perhaps posting it for others to read would allow people to show you the potential flaws in the very article that has you so worked up about this topic in the first place.

I thought you said you knew women with this problem? Not that you had only read about it.


----------



## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HisBeautifulWife* 
Because I read a very long article that seemed to be well referenced that said that BF is a sexual act and that women should *not* be ashamed by that and they should embrace it for the health of their babies and for themselves. However, as the article went on , it started to say some things that were quite disturbing to me. So I would never, ever share that article with anyone.

Then I started reading about women who felt guilty for whatever reasons they had, and the terrible reactions people had to it.

Then I thought back to the science that was in that article and I began to wonder if they couldn't help it then why were they getting blamed.

Then I started thinking about the feelings. Then my mind was trying to process all of this. On top of not understanding why people nursed when there was no milk (thanks for the explanations on that!)

So that's why. People say it's not sexual but sometimes sources say it is (but I don't think they mean it like that, they mean it in a different way that people dont talk about) so I was trying to sort it all out.

I think that article was written by a quack.

Yes some people have been known to feel sexual nursing. It's rare. Yes there have been people who have gone to their doctors for help and been turned into CPS. Because of this.. people who do have this problem generally suck it up and deal with it.. because there is no help.

The majority of people do not believe breast feeding to be sexual nor do they have any sexual feelings while breast feeding. Anyone who states otherwise doesn't know what they are talking about.

The point of this thread however was not that breast feeding is sexual.. it was that the OP didn't feel breast should be sexual period.


----------



## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *claddaghmom* 
This reminds me of when my 4yo sister learned that my baby was going to come out of my vagina. She got a horrified look on her face and said, "but peepee comes out there! the baby will get peepee on her head!"


----------



## HisBeautifulWife (Jun 18, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tayndrewsmama* 
Well, I am pretty big on citing your sources, so naturally I am going to ask you to post it. If you feel that you can't, then you might want to evaluate the legitimacy of the source in the first place. Perhaps posting it for others to read would allow people to show you the potential flaws in the very article that has you so worked up about this topic in the first place.

I thought you said you knew women with this problem? Not that you had only read about it.









That's why I read about it. I wanted to know more.

I read it on my phone so I didn't save it, thank goodness. It's probably in my history though.

I don't really have the stomach to search for it again and I wouldn't do that to anyone because I don't think any bf mom should read it. Really and truly that type of thing should not be allowed because though it wasn't trying to place blame, it did not help the situation at all and it made me physically sick. No, I would never tell anyone to read anything like that so please don't.


----------



## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HisBeautifulWife* 
That's why I read about it. I wanted to know more.

I read it on my phone so I didn't save it, thank goodness. It's probably in my history though.

I don't really have the stomach to search for it again and I wouldn't do that to anyone because I don't think any bf mom should read it. Really and truly that type of thing should not be allowed because though it wasn't trying to place blame, it did not help the situation at all and it made me physically sick. No, I would never tell anyone to read anything like that so please don't.

I am confused. If you don't consider this an accurate source, why are you asking mom's here about sexual feelings while BFing?


----------



## tayndrewsmama (May 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HisBeautifulWife* 
That's why I read about it. I wanted to know more.

I read it on my phone so I didn't save it, thank goodness. It's probably in my history though.

I don't really have the stomach to search for it again and I wouldn't do that to anyone because I don't think any bf mom should read it. Really and truly that type of thing should not be allowed because though it wasn't trying to place blame, it did not help the situation at all and it made me physically sick. No, I would never tell anyone to read anything like that so please don't.

But you can't possibly expect to have a civilized conversation with anyone regarding this when you have ideas in your head from an article that you won't share with everyone else. That's a little like going to a book discussion when only one person has actually read the book. You can't debate the merits of it when you are the only who has read it. We are telling you those things aren't really true and you don't want to believe us based on that article. I don't know what anyone could say to make you think otherwise.


----------



## tayndrewsmama (May 25, 2004)

That article wasn't in The Onion was it?


----------



## JollyGG (Oct 1, 2008)

If the nipples only purpose is breast feeding then why do men have nipples? Why do some men get sexual stimulation from their nipples being played with? Many men's nipples respond to stimulation, cold, ect. in much the same way a woman's does. They obviously can't nurse a baby. Therefore there must be some purpose to these reactions outside of nursing. Nipples are sexual. They are for breastfeeding. I guess I have no problem whatsoever with them having a dual purpose.


----------



## HisBeautifulWife (Jun 18, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tayndrewsmama* 
We are telling you those things aren't really true and you don't want to believe us based on that article.

Everybody didn't say exactly that early on but







no it wasn't in the Onion. I wish. I would have noticed.

Ok this is a useful thread and I don't want it to get closed so I've gotten my answers. We can get back to whether or not breasts are dual purpose parts


----------



## tayndrewsmama (May 25, 2004)

I suspect this is what you read (WARNING: IT'S SERIOUSLY MESSED UP!). You need to realize that this appears to be something that is just circulating the internet and is not posted anywhere on a legit site or published by any reputable news organization. A search of the Dr's name who supposedly wrote this yields NOTHING at all except for message board posts of this garbage article. As far as I am concerned, this was a joke that someone did a good job of getting circulated. You really should just put it out of your mind IMO.


----------



## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Kelly, you really should put a warning on that link. I don't think it is the same link as it sounds different in nature to what hiswife was talking about.. but it is just as disturbing as the one she talked about.

And I agree with you, that was not written by an academic nor was it edited or proofed there are too many errors in there.


----------



## tayndrewsmama (May 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aniT* 
Kelly, you really should put a warning on that link. I don't think it is the same link as it sounds different in nature to what hiswife was talking about.. but it is just as disturbing as the one she talked about.

And I agree with you, that was not written by an academic nor was it edited or proofed there are too many errors in there.









Ok! I didn't even think to do that because it sounded so absurd to me. Sorry to anyone who may have read it and been freaked!


----------



## delfin (Jul 11, 2007)

hi,

i didn't read the article, and atm don't have good signal, so i won't.

There's other authors who write about the BF experience as the basic sexuality of humans. Someone mentioned the release of oxitocin being present in both lovemaking and breastfeeding. I do believe BF is sexual, but I understand the aversion some ppl have to this idea if we are from the mindset that sexuality is only falocentric.
And this patriarchal society has done a lot to instill the taboo of incest, when the sexual experience of bf has nothing to do with penetration or getting off.
i had these feelings while bf my baby, and reading the work of Casilda Rodriganez i understood that what i was feeling wasn't wrong or creepy, just natural and normal.
while bf, both bodies pulsate with desire, desire for life, and the pleasure is simply in the giving and receiving warmt and love(oxitocyn here, see Odent's work "the scientification of love")


----------



## readytobedone (Apr 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HisBeautifulWife* 

As for the gyno, that's not even the same motions, at least not from my experience. The hands and tools don't do the same things as other acts. Though I'm sure some women might have reactions to that, but I can't say that I would be able to make those comparisons. Whereas on the other hand, suckling is suckling.


i don't agree that suckling is suckling. the way DD latches on to my breast is in no way similar to anything my DH has done sexually. although i have asked him to try to unclog a plugged duct (after using the pump first)







...and well, he couldn't latch on right for the life of him, so that tells you--it's not the same act in the least.

ETA:

more generally, though, i think that since breastfeeding is hormonally PLEASURABLE (and probably affects dopamine/seratonin levels), it can give similar feelings to sex. but it is not arousing in the least, not for me anyway. i mean, exercise can give you a rush, too. but you don't see people debating whether exercising (publicly or privately) is sexual.


----------



## ILoveSweetpea (Jan 7, 2009)

You guys have brought up way too many good points for me to quote here. But thank you. You've given me a lot of things to think about. I have certainly concluded that my issues with breasts as sex objects are simply that : MY ISSUES.







I think if DH was more into breasts in the bedroom, this would be a big issue in our relationship. As it stands, it is just an icky feeling on my part...

But some of your points are really starting to sink in for me. Breasts can be sexual and that can be OK. It's still hard for me to believe that, but I think it'll take time and my own dealing with feelings.

FYI... I did NOT click on the article that was posted. I didn't think it would be psychologically healthy for me to read it! LOL! I want to keep nursing DS as long as possible, so I don't need something that may reinforce my fears and concerns.

Anyway... I just wanted to thanks everyone for sharing so thoughtfully on this tough subject. The talk turned into something other than what I intended, but it was all very interesting nonetheless.







I have a of great advice and ideas to think about, and maybe I can try to let go of this "hang-up" of mine.

Thanks again.


----------



## velcromom (Sep 23, 2003)

That feeling of horror will pass as your hormones change, I've had that kind of feeling too and not just about breasts, lol. You'll probably always retain your new perspective about what breasts are for though and that's a good thing.

I haven't read thru all the posts but has anyone shared the story Katherine Dettwyler shares in one of her books - where she tells women in one of the cultures she's visiting that men in America like to incorporate breasts into intimate play, they ROFLMBO about the men in America that act like babies nursing!!


----------



## claddaghmom (May 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ILoveSweetpea* 
You guys have brought up way too many good points for me to quote here. But thank you. You've given me a lot of things to think about. I have certainly concluded that my issues with breasts as sex objects are simply that : MY ISSUES.







I think if DH was more into breasts in the bedroom, this would be a big issue in our relationship. As it stands, it is just an icky feeling on my part...

But some of your points are really starting to sink in for me. Breasts can be sexual and that can be OK. It's still hard for me to believe that, but I think it'll take time and my own dealing with feelings.

FYI... I did NOT click on the article that was posted. I didn't think it would be psychologically healthy for me to read it! LOL! I want to keep nursing DS as long as possible, so I don't need something that may reinforce my fears and concerns.

Anyway... I just wanted to thanks everyone for sharing so thoughtfully on this tough subject. The talk turned into something other than what I intended, but it was all very interesting nonetheless.







I have a of great advice and ideas to think about, and maybe I can try to let go of this "hang-up" of mine.

Thanks again.










But you know, if it's not a problem for you and DH, then it's not a problem! Maybe this is the way you are and that is okay within your relationship...not a sign of needing to change or being in the wrong.


----------



## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *velcromom* 
I haven't read thru all the posts but has anyone shared the story Katherine Dettwyler shares in one of her books - where she tells women in one of the cultures she's visiting that men in America like to incorporate breasts into intimate play, they ROFLMBO about the men in America that act like babies nursing!!

And I've kind of wondered if breasts tend to be such a sexual thing here because so many of us were deprived of our mother's breasts as children. So we make up for it by having a relationship with breasts and nipples in the bedroom.

Maybe sex is a way for us to get some of the "babying" we missed out on, LOL.


----------



## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

And, again, there's nothing wrong with that -- so long as the sexualization doesn't become so overpowering that it interferes with babies being able to get the breast promptly, wherever they happen to be (because of the sexualization-thingie causing a corresponding and unhealthy prudishness about breastfeeding).


----------



## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mammal_mama* 
And I've kind of wondered if breasts tend to be such a sexual thing here because so many of us were deprived of our mother's breasts as children. So we make up for it by having a relationship with breasts and nipples in the bedroom.

Maybe sex is a way for us to get some of the "babying" we missed out on, LOL.

I dunno.. DH was breast feed.


----------



## Arwyn (Sep 9, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aniT* 
I dunno.. DH was breast feed. 

Yes, but he was raised and socialized in a society in whcih breastfeeding was/is decidedly the minority, so the overall critique of "bottle feeding society leads to sexualized breasts" may still be valid.

Or not.


----------



## pumpkinhead (Sep 15, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mammal_mama* 
And I've kind of wondered if breasts tend to be such a sexual thing here because so many of us were deprived of our mother's breasts as children. So we make up for it by having a relationship with breasts and nipples in the bedroom.

Maybe sex is a way for us to get some of the "babying" we missed out on, LOL.

Respectfully, I don't think so. I was breastfed.

My children were breastfed and my breasts are still a huge source of comfort for both of them. Mainly the one who is still nursing







, but for the older one as well. When he is upset or hurt, the very first thing he wants to do is bury his head in my chest.

Hell, when I'm hurt or upset, I still love to be held against my mother's chest. I think this is more *because* we were breastfed.

Breasts are many things to many people.

For *hisbeautifulwife* a baby suckling is very, very different from how my husband treats my breasts when we are intimate. It's not even in the same ball park. A child's suckling is vigorous and purposeful for the most part. I don't know how to describe it, but I personally have never derived any kind of sexual gratification from a nursing child. I don't really know how to describe how it is different, but it is. Your body will know the difference when the time comes.


----------



## LionessMom (Mar 12, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HisBeautifulWife* 
If one is used to that feeling as a _"oooweee feel good"_ feeling how is one supposed to turn that off because it's not like you are feeling it on purpose? I think this is one reason some women never try because they can't wrap their minds around how this works.

If it feels good are you supposed to be ashamed? Does that make you a bad person? Or do you just say, yes it feels good, and it feels good in the same way but its different because I'm not thinking about it like that?

after the child weans, and the hormones taper off, it no longer feels good to have babe touch them. that is natural too. look at cats etc. they literally smack their kittens away when they are too old. human mothers dont smack our child away, but it no longer feels good. you shouldnt feel ashamed of feeling good while bfing. it doesnt feel good in the same way. it feels motherly and loving. DH playing with them is exciting etc. it is different. some women and some men (My DH) dont like their nipples touched at all. DH loathes it. does nothing for him. everybody is different.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tayndrewsmama* 
I suspect this is what you read (WARNING: IT'S SERIOUSLY MESSED UP!).

that is seriously messed up. thhat makes me mad that some people would put trash like that up. if you aren't supposed to bf your child why do you have breasts that make milk? it is not like people can mine formula.... what about before people knew how to milk cows etc? i just dont see the point behind people putting up stuff like that.


----------



## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Arwyn* 
Yes, but he was raised and socialized in a society in whcih breastfeeding was/is decidedly the minority, so the overall critique of "bottle feeding society leads to sexualized breasts" may still be valid.

Or not.









Actually he was raised within a religious group of people where breast feeding was the norm. He was surprised as an adult how few people actually do bf. And admittidly it might not have been so much the religion but more the hippiness of the group of people in the bay area in the mid 70's.


----------

