# "Homeless. Need help/work"



## Turquesa (May 30, 2007)

When you are driving out of a parking lot (e.g. grocery store) and you see somebody holding this or a similar sign, what is the best response?

Normally I drive by







: but I'm morally torn about the matter. For some reason, these people are usually standing or sitting on the right side of my car, which makes it difficult to hand anything to them or engage them or hand something to them. Then there's the issue of whether or not to engage them and, if so, how.

Hand them food? Bus tokens? Job announcements? Perhaps something more indirect, like financial or in-kind support for the local shelter?

This is not a thread to debate the merits of sign-holding or "begging." (Where I used to live, one guy made the front page of the local paper with his sign: "Why lie? I need a beer!"







) I just feel a duty as a citizen and a human being to do _something_, but I just don't know what. I'd like to hear from people who feel the same way and have ideas.

What I am wondering is...is there an appropriate response that is compassionate, productive, and street-smart?


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## EyesOfTheWorld (Apr 20, 2004)

I'm not sure what the "correct" answer is, but I there is a very large homeless population in our area and I keep some food in my car for just this reason - granola bars and the like that won't go bad and will fill their tummy for a bit. Less direct, but once a month we go to the grocery and set aside a certain amount to spend and put it right into the food bank box at the store. This is really rewarding for the kids too - they love picking out food they think other people will enjoy and it's such a good lesson. I hope you can find a solution that feels right to you!


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## tallulahma (Jun 16, 2006)

a good friend always said, "are you hungry? Come with me, Ill buy you a meal"

he would buy them food, talk with them, see if he could help.

Ive tried this several times. Ive only had two or three people accept food.

I think carrying food or even a card with the number to the local food bank might help.


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## emma1325 (May 23, 2005)

I drove past a man holding a sign once that read "hungry - anything will help." I had just packed my trunk full of groceries. I went home, made him 2 turkey sandwiches, and packed it up in a bag with some fruit and had my husband drive it back to the guy.

On a regular basis, I'm not sure what the best approach is. I think a PP here mentioned having non-perishables handy for the occasion...sounds like a good idea to me.


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## StoriesInTheSoil (May 8, 2008)

I made some peanut butter sandwiches once for some homeless guys because I liked their sign: "Hungry Hungry Hobos"

OP, I think about this a lot. I never know what to say and I don't want to stare but I don't want to just look away either. I want to help but I don't know how or if the person is dangerous or what. I am one of those people that, even though I am pretty sure it's going to be spent on alcohol or worse, still can't help but give change to beggars.


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## PaulaJoAnne (Oct 18, 2008)

Food is a good idea. I will not ever give money, because it is more than likely to be used for various vices, rather then true needs.


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## Mimi (Oct 8, 2008)

we usually buy a meal from a takeaway & a large bottle of water. I met some really nice homeless people, with very sad stories. one man i remember , he had his arm broken by teenagers & his dog taken away. luckily the dog found his way back.


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## SunshineJ (Mar 26, 2008)

It just depends I guess. There've been a lot of articles on "fake" homeless people in the area - like the guy who used to stand outside the mall and then rode the bus back home to his extremely nice house and family with all his tax free "earnings". A friend used to offer job applications to some, trying to help out, and most often they cussed her out (though not always), so it's hard to know who really needs the help and who's scamming kwim? However, in the summer I do try to keep bottled water on hand. Scamming or not everyone is susceptible to heat stroke. If it's someone I see on a regular basis and it seems like they truely are down on their luck, then if I'm working I'll pack an extra lunch in the morning and pass it along while I drive in to work. I may give them up to $5 if I have it as well, heaven knows $5 has made a huge difference for me at times in the past when things were desperate! I figure I can't control what another person does, but I try not to let the "what-if's" of their actions change who I am.


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## mistymama (Oct 12, 2004)

I give food if I have it - granola bar or any snacks I might have on me for ds & I. I never give money and that goes back to a story back when I was in high school.

There used to always be beggers at the exit of a popular mall where I grew up. There was one guy who was almost always out there with a sign that said "Will work for food" - my friend's Dad gave him a business card and said "If you call this number, I will give you a job and pay you well"

The guy never called and the next time they were at the mall, he was out there begging. My friend's Dad asked why he had never called to get a job - and the beggar was honest - He said he made more money out there begging than he would ever make in another job.









So I give food - at least that way if they are really hungry, I'm helping. I donate money through other sources that help the homeless, but I don't directly give it to people on the street.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

My husband carries a bunch of grocery store gift cards in his wallet to give, but we'll give food, money, whatever, if we think it will help. We both have this philosophy that it's really not our job to judge what they choose to do with what we give. A gift is a gift, you know? So you put it out there and hope for the best.

Now, when he gives something with the church's money (he's a pastor) he needs to be careful because that's not his own money, it's the churches.


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## kriket (Nov 25, 2007)

I don't pay them any mind. I used to bum them cigarettes and chat, tell them where the shelters are or which churches have soup kitchens. No one needs money, they need food, shelter, clothing etc, so I never give money, and I gave food once and he just left it and it got ran over







Obviously wasn't that hungry.

there are better ways to meet your needs then panhandling, and most of them probably make more money then me anyways.


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## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

My husband is out in the field all day so he carries some food and lots of water with him to give to these people in need (we live in the desert so during the summer water is very very important).

I believe fully that regardless of those stories we hear meant to clear our conscience about them making more money or just exploiting us or whatever else that it doesn't matter because there are still soooo many more in need. If I found out tomorrow all the food and water we have given was only truly needed by one person we gave it to I'd be fine with it because that one person really needed it.

I know that the shelters can't always help them all.


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## Porcelain Interior (Feb 8, 2008)

I'm pretty cynical about our local "workers". I know for a fact that they are most likely addicted and or mentally ill. I also know for the most part that they don't want food, or company- just cash.

I use to stop and offer food/money, or ask them if they needed a particular kind of help- like a ride, or help finding resources, but our guys (I've never seen a woman out there) are doing it as a job.

They are panhandling. They don't want housing, help or fluff. They want cash donations.

So I personally would rather donate to a food pantry, or a women's shelter or any shelter. I think that provides more help in the long run.

I hate that we have mentally ill, veterans and addicts on the streets, but sadly even when offered help sometimes it just doesn't work.

I want to help those that want help. I don't want anyone turned away at a food bank, or someone with small kids to get turned away from a warm bed.

I guess that sounds heartless, but I don't think giving a homeless alcoholic beer money is helping anyone.

*We have given large sums of money to people broke down on the road with kids, and I think a couple of times it was a scam, but I don't regret that. I can't drive by children and not do something.


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## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

Simple solution- don't give money.

I find it heartbreaking that so many allow a few abusing other's charity to mandate what we do for those in need as a whole. It's like the argument that there are people on public assistance who are abusing the system so the whole system needs to go. No not the solution at all. Just think of all those who are in need and who are receiving help.

I will remind everyone again- not all shelters and food banks can help all those in need. People are turned away at an alarming rate. Panhandling is often the last resort.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *magstphil* 
I will remind everyone again- not all shelters and food banks can help all those in need. People are turned away at an alarming rate. Panhandling is often the last resort.









I've heard stories many times of people who can't negotiate social services because they don't have the right paperwork, or a ride, or a fridge to keep the food fresh.


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## KatWrangler (Mar 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 







I've heard stories many times of people who can't negotiate social services because they don't have the right paperwork, or a ride, or a fridge to keep the food fresh.

Not only that, it takes time to be approved. We got WIC right away, but they have 45 days to approve food stamps and Medicaid.


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## Breeder (May 28, 2006)

Thank you so much for this thread.

I have been struggling with this issue for awhile now. I hadn't given anything before because I never have cash on me anyway - but I always felt bad about it and about the example I am setting for my little guys. That whole "treat others as you would want to be treated" I say at least weekly looks a lot like lip service when I'm not helping those asking for help.

Beginning tomorrow I am keeping a box of granola bars and a small cooler with water in it in my car at all times.

You guys have inspired me.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

That's a wonderful idea!

One Advent, we made a bunch of little "kits" to keep in the car and give away-- granola bar, 5 bucks, a mini toothbrush and toothpaste, stuff like that, all tucked into a pair of clean warm socks, and we gave those away as needed.


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## earthmama369 (Jul 29, 2005)

The last time I saw someone with a sign looking for help, we were on our way to the grocery store, so I bought an extra bag of groceries. Things that were pretty sturdy, healthful, non perishable, easy to pack. Travel-weight bread, peanut butter (and a couple plastic knives from the deli area), jam, bananas. I handed the bag out the window on our way back, and the person seemed really happy to get it.


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## Mama.Pajama (Jul 16, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
We both have this philosophy that it's really not our job to judge what they choose to do with what we give. A gift is a gift, you know? So you put it out there and hope for the best.

This is us too.

Concerning Food Stamps, if a person is homeless they are normally eligible for a special type of Food Stamps that is accepted at restaurants. Also, concerning the 45 day wait, I can speak from personal experience that if your financial situation is dire enough, you are entitled to expedited approval, i.e. you will have assistance in >7 days. Concerning families in need, a person is generally eligible for welfare (cash) assistance if there is no employed adult in the household.

There is a man whose usual haunts are near our place- we had seen him panhandling at several different intersections- we always felt sorry for the guy. One day we saw him walking across our street... _talking on a cell phone!_ Apparently he is a neighbor of ours.







:

Of course, this doesn't alter our philosophy, but it is hard to swallow. People like the man I just described are preying on people's emotions (sympathy) and generosity. It's a sad world out there.


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## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

Quote:

Concerning Food Stamps, if a person is homeless they are normally eligible for a special type of Food Stamps that is accepted at restaurants. Also, concerning the 45 day wait, I can speak from personal experience that if your financial situation is dire enough, you are entitled to expedited approval, i.e. you will have assistance in >7 days. Concerning families in need, a person is generally eligible for welfare (cash) assistance if there is no employed adult in the household.
It's not always this way in every area, sadly. Often times there are a lot of hoops to jump through as well. Certainly some are able to get assistance fairly quickly in dire circumstances but some places really are just stretched thin and/or have more restrictions.


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## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
That's a wonderful idea!

One Advent, we made a bunch of little "kits" to keep in the car and give away-- granola bar, 5 bucks, a mini toothbrush and toothpaste, stuff like that, all tucked into a pair of clean warm socks, and we gave those away as needed.

That's really awesome!

Does anyone know where I can find the laws for giving to the homeless oneself? I know that in some areas if you give out food from your car to people it is illegal.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Really?!? I can't imagine giving food to the hungry being illegal.


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## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
Really?!? I can't imagine giving food to the hungry being illegal.









I know, right!

Something about having a permit. I'm hoping the friend who told us about their issues with it were just in some crazy area.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

I would probably engage in a little civil disobedience and tell them that my religion says to feed the hungry if I got caught.


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## terese17 (Dec 5, 2006)

i always want to know where they get the cardboard and markers for the signs....


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## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

Same place we get the cardboard for a move, probably- either ask a store or restaurant for some or they dump them in the back of the store/restaurant in a cardboard bin. One could also find markers there. When I worked at Wal Mart we carried markers around to mark the boxes and they'd fall out a lot when we'd take the cardboard bins out. Then again they could also ask or even use $1 to go into the 99 cent store to buy a marker.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *terese17* 
i always want to know where they get the cardboard and markers for the signs....

I would imagine both are fairly easy to come by, and don't have a whole lot to do with whether or not someone has steady work.


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## zinemama (Feb 2, 2002)

We keep food in the car for this: granola bars, usually. This week the kids and I are putting together bags. In each ziploc bag we will put a new pair of socks, a small package of nuts, and a granola bar. We'll keep these in the car to give out.

I also struggle with the thought that some of these people are addicted and only in it for the cash, that they aren't really homeless, or whatever.

But the fact is, I can't know. And more than that, I am doing this for my kids. I want my children to see that we don't pass a beggar by. We have so much and they need something. Our kids know that we write checks to charities. But that's abstract for them. Actually seeing me hand food to a person in need is a powerful lesson about helping others, one which I hope will stick with them.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zinemama* 

But the fact is, I can't know. And more than that, I am doing this for my kids. I want my children to see that we don't pass a beggar by. We have so much and they need something. Our kids know that we write checks to charities. But that's abstract for them. Actually seeing me hand food to a person in need is a powerful lesson about helping others, one which I hope will stick with them.









Oh my goodness, this times a thousand. To me, this is even the heart of attachment parenting-- When someone is sad, we comfort them. When they're hungry, we feed them. When the reach out for help, we reach back. It's not just love in words and abstract, it's love with skin on. I think we all can help, even if it's just a smile and a positive attitude and giving someone the benefit of the doubt.


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## rebirth (Oct 17, 2008)

I give homeless people what I can. I used to try to keep a few bucks stashed in my car, but haven't lately. I need to. We are so fortunate to be so blessed- all of our needs and many of our wants are met, and we are happy and healthy. If life were different it could easily be me out on the street. I do hope that the money and things I give are put to good use, but it is my responsibility to give, not to judge how they use my gifts.

I have given socks, blankets, food, water, groceries, cash and more to people. I've given a ride a few times, but I'm less brave now.

I really like the idea of little "gift baggies" with trail mix, dried fruits/jerkey, a hat (the sun poioning/heat stroak is BAD here!), water and some money.


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## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 







Oh my goodness, this times a thousand. To me, this is even the heart of attachment parenting-- When someone is sad, we comfort them. When they're hungry, we feed them. When the reach out for help, we reach back. It's not just love in words and abstract, it's love with skin on. I think we all can help, even if it's just a smile and a positive attitude and giving someone the benefit of the doubt.

Yes to Zinemama and especially to this!


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## kriket (Nov 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *magstphil* 
I know, right!

Something about having a permit. I'm hoping the friend who told us about their issues with it were just in some crazy area.

I've heard that you have to have a permit to panhandle in some areas or the cops will take the hobo in.

I really have a hard time believing the story that they can't find help anywhere but the street corner. Maybe its because I live in the midwest, not LA or Tijuana. We have a lot of immigrants here (I've worked with about a million, they come here with *nothing* and manage to get a job, modest place to live, food, case of beer AND send money to their family.

The services are there for them to help themselves. Collect cans or something, I see a few of the men that I know are homeless going through the recyclables every week. Those are the ones that I would bum smokes too and chat with. Interesting fellows.


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## BeeandOwlsMum (Jul 11, 2002)

Just a reminder - you are in Activism here.







No debate, please.







If you disagree with something, then don't post to it.









Please stop with the speculation that these people are just doing it for the money, because they are addicts, etc. This thread is about useful ways to help. Thank you.


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## StoriesInTheSoil (May 8, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zinemama* 
We keep food in the car for this: granola bars, usually. This week the kids and I are putting together bags. In each ziploc bag we will put a new pair of socks, a small package of nuts, and a granola bar. We'll keep these in the car to give out.

I also struggle with the thought that some of these people are addicted and only in it for the cash, that they aren't really homeless, or whatever.

But the fact is, I can't know. And more than that, I am doing this for my kids. I want my children to see that we don't pass a beggar by. We have so much and they need something. Our kids know that we write checks to charities. But that's abstract for them. Actually seeing me hand food to a person in need is a powerful lesson about helping others, one which I hope will stick with them.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 







Oh my goodness, this times a thousand. To me, this is even the heart of attachment parenting-- When someone is sad, we comfort them. When they're hungry, we feed them. When the reach out for help, we reach back. It's not just love in words and abstract, it's love with skin on. I think we all can help, even if it's just a smile and a positive attitude and giving someone the benefit of the doubt.


Yeah! Those things!









I haven't ever thought to keep food in the car specifically for this purpose, that's a great idea. When I was a fearless teenager with a truck I did give a couple of needy people rides in the truck bed.







Not the best idea in hindsight but my heart was in the right place...









I also used to buy the homeless people downtown coffee and a muffin instead of just giving them change sometimes. I felt better about that.

I think I'll start keeping "help bags" in my car. That's a good idea.


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## tallulahma (Jun 16, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
Really?!? I can't imagine giving food to the hungry being illegal.









ugh, it can be.

I worked at a local pretzel shop and we had to throw away dozens and dozens of pretzels at the end of the night and every hour on the hour so they were always fresh.

I used to put them in a box and take them to places where i knew homeless people hung out.. my boss "caught" me & told me it was against company policy because of a previous lawsuit.

If I wanted to give them away I had to buy them first. so I did.

it turns out that the owner also owned a very popular local pizza chain and he got sued for giving away free pizza to a homeless man who got food poisoning from the pizza???\

so you should check your laws.... If by handing out the food you are held reliable for its safety or something...


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## mirlee (Jul 30, 2002)

violated the thread


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## BeeandOwlsMum (Jul 11, 2002)

Let me reiterate - this isn't a thread about how you heard in your town that the homeless guy on the corner of x and y is a fake and actually brings down a ton of money each year. Or about how they have services they could get if they "wanted" to.

This thread is about ways to help. Let's stick to that, not the validity of people asking for money. Thank you again.


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## Cherie2 (Sep 27, 2006)

I don't see anything wrong with giving people money just becuase it may be used for other "vices" I don't know, I mean they are going to have to pay for their vices some way or another right? .. and in all likelyhood they are in the situation they are in because of their "vices". so what if they go get a bottle of maddog? I mean I guess I just wonder who am I to say how they spend it.. they are in need and if I can help I will help. When and if they are ready and able to get better they will, its not up to me to judge.


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## Michigan Mama (Jun 25, 2008)

Great thread!

Where I live, I don't see many homeless people. If I do, it is because I am in a part of town where it's probably not safe to be alone, iykwim. Only one time, when I was approached, I was studying in the university and we were right by the food court area in the middle of winter. Guy really wanted a baked potato. I bought him one and actually sat and talked with him for a while. Very interesting.

Another time, in the Uni, I was approached by someone who said he ran out of gas, and could he please have some money...I wasn't really sure what to do. I gave him a $20 (it's all I had), and he promised to meet me the next day to pay me back. Never showed, of course. I felt sort of gullible, but at the same time, I don't really regret it.

I'd always rather err on the side of being overly generous/compassionate (at the risk of being "wrong"), than not.

I'm not so great about keeping food in the car, and since I don't see people in need that often, I actually keep a $5 McD's card in my glovebox. Not that healthy, I know, but at least I know they are fairly readily available and the person can get something to eat.


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## Krisis (May 29, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Michigan Mama* 
I'm not so great about keeping food in the car, and since I don't see people in need that often, I actually keep a $5 McD's card in my glovebox. Not that healthy, I know, but at least I know they are fairly readily available and the person can get something to eat.

That's brilliant!! The place I see the most homeless people anyway is right across the street from the McDonald's. Thanks for this idea!


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## Pepper44 (May 16, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tallulahma* 
ugh, it can be.

I worked at a local pretzel shop and we had to throw away dozens and dozens of pretzels at the end of the night and every hour on the hour so they were always fresh.

I used to put them in a box and take them to places where i knew homeless people hung out.. my boss "caught" me & told me it was against company policy because of a previous lawsuit.

If I wanted to give them away I had to buy them first. so I did.

it turns out that the owner also owned a very popular local pizza chain and he got sued for giving away free pizza to a homeless man who got food poisoning from the pizza???\

so you should check your laws.... If by handing out the food you are held reliable for its safety or something...

I think one way places get around that rule--not giving left overs away--is to leave it on top of the trash can where they can choose to take it but it's technically still in the trash. Once when we were on vacation in DC that's what we noticed people were doing with a lot of their food, and there was always someone their to take it.

Where I live we have occasional older men on the corner holding a sign. Sometimes I give them small snacks--peanut butter and crackers, a granola bar, an apple, water, etc. I have always wondered what they were doing on the corner and if they are truly homeless. I find myself laying awake at night and worrying about it! We also have homeless families in my city, but it seems like we have enough charities to cover them...at least as far as I know. I rarely see anything but older men/veterans on the corner begging.

I once went as far as to invite a pregnant mom and her three kids to live with us temporarily when they were kicked out. It was an MDC momma from a state away, someone I met online. HUGE mistake...I learned that there is often a reason people are homeless. Occasionally they are just down on their luck of course, but it seems like some/many homeless people lack the ability to get a job, keep the job, and make good use of available government resources and charity, for whatever reason. It's a sad truth.


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## kriket (Nov 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Pepper44* 
I think one way places get around that rule--not giving left overs away--is to leave it on top of the trash can where they can choose to take it but it's technically still in the trash.

i used to do this at work, i can't help what happens to 'trash'


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## Stephenie (Oct 11, 2007)

We do what we can for them. A friend and I have made a bunch of bag lunches and brought them to the homeless in our city before. And brought clothes one time as well. Everything gets taken. We've had some really rewarding experiences by sharing with these people. I plan on doing this with my kids when they are older as well. (ds was with me before, but it's not like he got it.)

We have also purchased fast food for people. We usually don't give money (mainly because we don't carry cash.)

What it comes down to in the end is that these people need help, sympathy and love. Who cares if they are addicts or mentally ill? They need it just as much- if not more.

As for applying for social services, I had a long conversation about that with a homeless woman once. She had the hardest time. There was a lot of paperwork and she "had a hard time reading it." Then there was the bus fair and the fact that she didn't have an address or phone number... so she kept having to go back. She was trying, though and I pray to God it all came together for her. A lot of those people are not mentally well enough to do all of that.

As for the person who was on a cell phone, a lot of charities buy disposable cell phones for the homeless- if they have a way to get a hold of someone who once cared about them, family, friends etc , it can help get them off the streets. Or, if nothing else, give them a way to call for help in a bad situation.

I just try my hardest not to judge. I used to not have sympathy for them. Now I feel sick thinking of how insensitive I was being to my fellow humans.


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## rajahkat (Oct 1, 2003)

I do give dollars when I have a few. The truth is, I have to think long and hard sometimes about whether I'm going to need my money for my groceries!







But I give when I can.

I always try to wave and smile. I know it might not seem like a lot, but I've had people just light up when I do. It's like they are so used to being looked through or avoided, when someone actually says "hello" you know, like they are an actual PERSON out there it means alot.


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## Spirit Dancer (Dec 11, 2006)

What an inspiring thread. I am so glad to see their are so many with an overflowing heart.
I also try to give money and or food when I have it on me.


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## faithsstuff (Nov 30, 2008)

hubby and I met and married at a mens shelter we were both workers in. We lived, ate and worked with the homeless, mentally ill and addicted. so I am definately biased on this issue and somewhat discouraged by some of the implied and expressed views, but it is what it is. What I really wanted to say was:
but for the grace of god...

just a thought and half


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## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

I live in Mexico, and there is some really crushing poverty here. There are also a lot of people runnign scams, and it's sometimes hard to tell the difference. If people are asking for food, I generally give it to them, if I have it to spare.


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## Picturesque (May 31, 2007)

Is giving grocery gift cards and bus passes better or worse than giving cash? I've always felt better about it, in any case, but wonder if there's an angle I'm not considering?


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## EyesOfTheWorld (Apr 20, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *faithsstuff* 
hubby and I met and married at a mens shelter we were both workers in. We lived, ate and worked with the homeless, mentally ill and addicted. so I am definately biased on this issue and somewhat discouraged by some of the implied and expressed views, but it is what it is. What I really wanted to say was:
but for the grace of god...

just a thought and half

I agree that some of the views here are frustrating.

For those of you who are so sure most of these people are scammers - assuming that you are physically and mentally competent, would you rather stand on a street corner all day, in the heat, snow and rain and face the embarrassment and ridicule (I've seen people on corners be spit at and had rocks thrown at their heads in midday traffic) or work minimum wage somewhere, in the air conditioning and with (minimal) respect? Really now. How many people do you think make that first choice when they have other option available?

To people who have mentioned that they have known homeless people who were offered jobs and turned them down - I have known people in similar situations. When I was younger I knew a young mother who was doing some pretty shady stuff to get by. She was offered a job in a secretarial position by a well-meaning acquaintance but she never took it because she couldn't afford running water for a shower, or the clothes that kind of work would require.

Before you judge, spend a few minutes really thinking hard about these scenarios. I'm sure there ARE scammers out there, but I highly doubt it's as rampant as you think. I see the same people on the street corners that I see when I bring food to the tents under the bridge. Not Mercedes in sight.


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## A&A (Apr 5, 2004)

We donate to the food bank. My dh has also directly bought food for people on occasion.


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## s_kristina (Aug 9, 2004)

We currently meet any definition of homeless you would like to give, but I have never thankfully been standing on a street corner. I have however applied for any job I can find including an adult chat one that I didn't get as I don't have the right voice







It's much easier to end up in that place then many people want to think. We have recently spent time in a shelter with our 3 children where they would only allow us to stay 2 days as it's not a good place for children. How that helps I don't know as we had no where else to go! We were lucky enough to track down a relative on the other side of the state and are with her now. We have a very tight time frame here though as she lives in a 55+ community. At this point I would take any legal job I can get, but I have put in more applications then I can count and been to numerous interviews since moving to this side of the state with no luck yet. Thankfully after getting here my dh has gotten work, but it's not paying very well. His pay will pretty much be eaten up trying to pay for an efficency with 2 double beds on a week by week basis. I am hoping to find work soon, but it hasn't happened yet and part of that is due to that lovely mental illness thing. I have a nice bit of problems in the best of times. With all this going on my panic attacks have been through the roof and I couldn't pass the simple math test at an interview today. The worse my stress level the more I mess up letters and numbers. Being so far from where my regular doctors are I can't get help with new medication even if I could afford it as the great helper called medicaid won't pay for the drugs that actually help me.


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## A&A (Apr 5, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *faithsstuff* 
hubby and I met and married at a mens shelter we were both workers in.

Your wedding was actually at the shelter? That's cool.

I agree with what you said about "but for the grace of god."


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## Stephenie (Oct 11, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *s_kristina* 
We currently meet any definition of homeless you would like to give, but I have never thankfully been standing on a street corner. I have however applied for any job I can find including an adult chat one that I didn't get as I don't have the right voice







It's much easier to end up in that place then many people want to think. We have recently spent time in a shelter with our 3 children where they would only allow us to stay 2 days as it's not a good place for children. How that helps I don't know as we had no where else to go! We were lucky enough to track down a relative on the other side of the state and are with her now. We have a very tight time frame here though as she lives in a 55+ community. At this point I would take any legal job I can get, but I have put in more applications then I can count and been to numerous interviews since moving to this side of the state with no luck yet. Thankfully after getting here my dh has gotten work, but it's not paying very well. His pay will pretty much be eaten up trying to pay for an efficency with 2 double beds on a week by week basis. I am hoping to find work soon, but it hasn't happened yet and part of that is due to that lovely mental illness thing. I have a nice bit of problems in the best of times. With all this going on my panic attacks have been through the roof and I couldn't pass the simple math test at an interview today. The worse my stress level the more I mess up letters and numbers. Being so far from where my regular doctors are I can't get help with new medication even if I could afford it as the great helper called medicaid won't pay for the drugs that actually help me.

I am so sorry you are going trough this all. I'll be praying for your family .


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## nerdymom (Mar 20, 2008)

Oh thank you for starting this thread! What a good idea, keeping something in the car. DH and I give a certain percent of his salary to our church, which in turn does quite a bit for the community, including helping people who come asking for it. I always feel like crap when I see people begging for food or work. It is becoming an even bigger problem now. I don't see many where I live, but if I go into DC they are everywhere. My favorite memory about helping the homeless is when I was bringing doughnuts in for some friends at a rally. I had several dozen, and as I was walking I kept getting accosted. I guess I looked kinda funny with all those boxes. Well I said "I don't have any cash sorry" and started to walk away, then I realized, I have all these doughnuts. So I walked back and offered him one. I ended up giving away a dozen or so, and it really cheered a lot of people up. Not only were they happy, but I felt really good about helping those in need.









A question for those in hot climates, how do you keep stuff from spoiling/melting?


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## nerdymom (Mar 20, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *s_kristina* 
We currently meet any definition of homeless you would like to give, but I have never thankfully been standing on a street corner. I have however applied for any job I can find including an adult chat one that I didn't get as I don't have the right voice







It's much easier to end up in that place then many people want to think. We have recently spent time in a shelter with our 3 children where they would only allow us to stay 2 days as it's not a good place for children. How that helps I don't know as we had no where else to go! We were lucky enough to track down a relative on the other side of the state and are with her now. We have a very tight time frame here though as she lives in a 55+ community. At this point I would take any legal job I can get, but I have put in more applications then I can count and been to numerous interviews since moving to this side of the state with no luck yet. Thankfully after getting here my dh has gotten work, but it's not paying very well. His pay will pretty much be eaten up trying to pay for an efficency with 2 double beds on a week by week basis. I am hoping to find work soon, but it hasn't happened yet and part of that is due to that lovely mental illness thing. I have a nice bit of problems in the best of times. With all this going on my panic attacks have been through the roof and I couldn't pass the simple math test at an interview today. The worse my stress level the more I mess up letters and numbers. Being so far from where my regular doctors are I can't get help with new medication even if I could afford it as the great helper called medicaid won't pay for the drugs that actually help me.

Go to the churches. I know ours, and any church I've ever beena member of, would definitely try to help you out in some way, either monetarily, or with food or shelter aide. I wish you were here, so I could give you this:


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## artgoddess (Jun 29, 2004)

If I have it, I'm not afraid to give cash. It doesn't bother me if someone is going to buy a beer or ciggs, I now that those are addictive and many may consider them a waste of $$. But they are also coping tools, and if you're homeless and possibly can't afford your meds, you need something.

I try to keep a flyer in my car for the local shelter to hand a person as well. We only have an emergency winter shelter where I live now, so 8 months out of the year that's not an option.


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## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *artgoddess* 
If I have it, I'm not afraid to give cash. It doesn't bother me if someone is going to buy a beer or ciggs, I now that those are addictive and many may consider them a waste of $$. But they are also coping tools, and if you're homeless and possibly can't afford your meds, you need something.

My husband feels the same way.


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## kay4 (Nov 30, 2004)

Sometimes I give money. For the longest while lately the person is a lane or 2 over and I worry about holding out money and them having to cross over. One of these days I am going to make up a bunch of bagged lunches and drive around and hand out. Been meaning to do that for awhile now and haven't yet







Keeping granola bars, bottled water in the car for that purpose is a great idea, it is so hot I worry about heatstroke or something


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## Surfacing (Jul 19, 2005)

I work in social services so I see a lot. In my experience where I live, it's the guys who are really and truly FILTHY that need the money. Sometimes you see people with a sign - look at their shoes, bag and coat. Are they clean? Are they new-ish looking? They are not desperate. They are connected to some resources.

I too have offered to buy someone a sandwich or coffee and sometimes they accept. One time a filthy staggering drunk homeless guy asked me for some money. I gently asked if he had been drinking. He was embarassed and asked, How did you know? I gave him a few bucks and sent him to the McD up the street.









As for people on assistance or who beg and cell phones -- sometimes they cannot get a landline anymore because they fell too far in arrears and they were cut off. Their file went to collections and they can only get a cell. Often times they have the cell for a short time because very quickly they fall behind in their payments and are cut off. Then they try the next carrier. It's not easy living on social assistance income. It's below the poverty line.

For those that give out those little kits with needed stuff -- clean socks, clean underwear, food stuffs...


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## Turquesa (May 30, 2007)

As the OP, I wanted to thank those of you for validating my concerns with inspiring responses and creative ideas.







I really like the instant-kit idea. The weather here is too hot to store kits in my car, but I can store them where I store my purse so that I remember to have one on hand when I run errands.

I'll have to remember cold water, too. I'm not a fan of the bottled water industry







: but may have to make an exception for this.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 







I've heard stories many times of people who can't negotiate social services because they don't have the right paperwork, or a ride, or a fridge to keep the food fresh.

Or as apparently just happened in this city, when the cities computers cause 75% of qualified applicants for food stamps to be rejected. (IBM has the contract to fix that and has until September to get the new system bug free.)


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Surfacing* 
As for people on assistance or who beg and cell phones -- sometimes they cannot get a landline anymore because they fell too far in arrears and they were cut off. Their file went to collections and they can only get a cell. Often times they have the cell for a short time because very quickly they fall behind in their payments and are cut off. Then they try the next carrier.

Or they're using those prepaid cellphones you can get for like $20 in the grocery store. In fact, if you know of someone who really needs help, getting them one of those phones, plus some minutes cards could be useful.

Unfortunately, I don't think calling cards work with cellphones and there just aren't that many phone booths around anymore.

Those in the know, would those combination toothbrush/toothpaste packs be good?


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## EdnaMarie (Sep 9, 2006)

I give money when I have cash (a dollar, five, change) and pray for them. I also give to charities that help the homeless.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tallulahma* 
ugh, it can be.

I worked at a local pretzel shop and we had to throw away dozens and dozens of pretzels at the end of the night and every hour on the hour so they were always fresh.

I used to put them in a box and take them to places where i knew homeless people hung out.. my boss "caught" me & told me it was against company policy because of a previous lawsuit. .

Contrariwise, I used to get bread about every other week for free because the food bank couldn't use all the bread that was brought from the local Panera each week. So my friend who volunteered to transport the bread from the store to the pantry would bring them to our club meeting instead after the pantry turned him away.


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## artgoddess (Jun 29, 2004)

Speaking of bread. For all those who donate to food pantries around town, do it now, do it in March and don't forget them year round. i spent most of my Christmas eve driving around Los Angeles and making calls trying to find places to take the 40 plus loaves of bread I had in the back of my car, donated to the shelter I ran.

The holiday's are filled with those who want to be generous, it's the rest of the year that we need to remember to help.


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## jennlyn (Jul 15, 2007)

delete


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## Surfacing (Jul 19, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *artgoddess* 
The holiday's are filled with those who want to be generous, it's the rest of the year that we need to remember to help.


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## spookyblue (Jan 15, 2008)

Yeah, I never ever give money either. With me, it's usually stuff like leftover food, resources on how to get into housing, employment, and most importantly, mental health care.

The last time we ran into a homeless person, we gave him some of the leftover gourmet pizza we were going to take home for lunch tomorrow. I think he was one of the real deals because he was skinny as a pencil and didn't look like he'd showered in two weeks.









I don't think I'll ever see someone enjoy pizza as much as he did


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## goodheartedmama (Feb 1, 2007)

I walked past a man a few months ago...he was my age, just looked as sad as can be. We were in another town for a marathon my dad was running. I started to walk by and told my sister I just couldn't walk by. We didn't have cash on us, and I didn't have any snacks, but she had some fruit snacks, those gerber freeze dried fruit things, and some graham crackers. It was all we had on us, but I walked it back to the man and said "sorry, it's all I have." He gave me the biggest grin and was thrilled to have that. It stays on my mind.

Aren't we all just one wrong choice away from being homeless? Or just one thing of bad luck away from it? We are all very lucky to be where we are, and we're certainly in no situation to judge--those that made choices to get there, and those that fell upon hard times--they all need shelter, food, and love.


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## Mama Dragon (Dec 5, 2005)

I don't give (at all) after reading multiple articles that they are just scammers. I don't remember the links I originally read (and I don't even know if we're allowed to link anymore, I don't post here a lot these days), but "walmart beggar scammers" on google comes up with a lot.


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## Bekka (Nov 20, 2001)

Used to live in downtown LA for college, and we were moving in, and I had bought all my supplies for the year, and this homeless guy walks by and looks at my laundry detergent, you know, huge, huge box, and says, "I could really use some of that laundry detergent." Probably couldn't afford it in the laundromat. I had a big ziploc so I gave him about 8 scoops and some quarters. He was so happy.

I don't live where homeless people are so obvious right now. I don't know how to do anything except bring food to the shelter, but our family is doing a food drive (family size) this month and we plan on bringing a box or 2 of extra food there just before school starts. I had read the summer months are the hardest for the food pantries.


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## kluella (Jan 10, 2007)

I think my heart needed this thread.

I have been feeling tugs as I pass homeless persons lately. I am a couponer and have more toothpaste, deodorant, razors, etc than my family can use up by the time that I get more. I was thinking about putting together some kits with these items as well as a granola bar and an encouraging note to keep in my car to hand out. I do have my ds in the backseat most of the time when I drive, though, and I get scared.

My mom used to pick up hitchhikers when I was a kid, especially if they had a dog with them because she's a dog lover. In today's society a woman with 2 kids would be absolutely attacked for making the choice to pick a stranger up on the highway, but we lived in NM (hot!) and my mom has the biggest heart ever.

One thing to keep in mind, my friend said she had a talk with some homeless men who had to turn down the food she offered because their teeth were so bad they had trouble eating anything chewy/hard (like a granola bar).

My family is struggling in this economy, DH is an electrician so the housing and retail collapse have hit very hard, no one is building anything around here. The first 1/3 of the year we were living on meager unemployment, now he can pick up 10-20 hours of mowing and side electrical work but it's still not enough to keep the lights on. I understand how difficult social services can be to obtain (to get energy assistance you have to be there at 8am in person to make an appointment, then you have to have an hour later in the week to actually attend the appointment, which can be a great challenge to those of us who are working poor and cannot miss work. DH has pretty bad social anxiety problems so he can't go on our behalf) and I know times are hard, we go to the food pantry too. But I still have a roof over my head, I own a washer and dryer to keep my clothes clean, and when it rains my primary concern is remembering not to wear sandals so my feet don't get wet. My heart wants to give.


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## AFWife (Aug 30, 2008)

DH and I have bought people food before. There was a couple at a Sonic asking for help. DH bought them a meal. And recently when he was out with friends at Tech School there was a guy asking for food outside a Subway. DH invited him inside and bought him whatever he wanted.

I've also heard the stories of people using it for "free" money and not really being homeless or in need at all.

Growing up, my parents had their own janitorial service. My mom came upon a guy with a "Will work for food" sign or something and she handed him a business card. She told him that he could come and work that very night and get paid before he left (contract employee thing I think) He got kind of angry and she never heard from him.


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