# Duggers



## kerrybennysmama (Jun 15, 2004)

feeling frustrated over the announcement over the Duggers having their 19th child. The mother is over 40 and somehow has managed to have 18 previous children. Here I am 36, and blessed to have two living children, but 4 miscarriages due to chromosomes. I just feel frustrated that my eggs have gotten it wrong 4 times and someone can get it right 19 times. I am just venting and still struggling with my losses. I often get triggered by reading or hearing of others people's pregnancies. My last loss has just been so hard, 15 weeks and knowing it was a girl it just really gets to me. I am just tired of hearing that my eggs just dont divide the cells correctly and that I am at higher risk for it to occur again.


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## WaitingForKiddos (Nov 30, 2006)

Kerry,









I'm so sorry for your losses and your little girl.

I was thinking of the Duggar mom this past weekend too. Mad that she has all over hers and I wasn't able to have my one.

The recurrence cloud is a dark one.


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## Jenifer76 (Apr 20, 2005)

I wonder if this will get locked or moved? I am not sure what we can or can't discuss but I will say I am in the same boat. Made me wonder why she can do it 19 times? Has she had any m/c?


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## namaste_mom (Oct 21, 2005)

For a year after I lost Norah, I couldn't watch the show. I was really jealous and had a hard time controling the yellow beast. Almost 2 years out and I can watch it now. In time, I learned to live the jealousy. It wasn't just the duggars but everyone that had a baby, they had their live baby and I had my angel baby. I think it is a normal stage of grief though.


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## kerrybennysmama (Jun 15, 2004)

I hope my post didnt come out wrong. I am not mad with her or wish her any harm in any way. I simply was triggered feeling like something was wrong with me. I just wish that pregnancies were handed out fairly thats all and that we all could hold the babies we have lost.


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## Amy&4girls (Oct 30, 2006)

It is such a hard road we travel. Thinking of each of you


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## MovingMomma (Apr 28, 2004)

Odds are she's had lots of miscarriages.


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## calmom (Aug 11, 2002)

we know you don't wish her any harm.







it's perfectly normal to feel jealousy and resentment towards people who appear to have it so "easy".

i read the duggar's book before Matthew died. just last week, i started wondering how many miscarriages she has had and wondering how she avoided a stillbirth.


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## moondiapers (Apr 14, 2002)

She had a miscarriage before they became quiverful.


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## MFuglei (Nov 7, 2002)

I heard that she had 1 m/c.

1 out of 20 pregnancies. Them'r good odds.

ETA: I'm bitter too. I shouldn't be, it's probably wrong to be, but, well, here I am.


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## Jules09 (Feb 11, 2009)

I like the Duggars, but what upsets me sometimes is that they (and nearly everyone I know) gets pregnant and announces it, and then goes on to have a baby. There's never a doubt. They announce it as soon as the pee on the stick (at least they did on an episode I saw where the son's wife got pregnant, I forget their names). I just wish that was the case for me. I wish *I* had a baby already. A baby who I could take home, that is. It's hard not to feel sorry for myself. I hear you, Kerry.


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## Fujiko (Nov 11, 2006)

She had a m/c after their first was born. They were so devastated that it ended up making them look at their "family planning" decisions and it lead to them becoming quiverfull.


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## expatmommy (Nov 7, 2006)

It is hard not to be bitter. Not so much because of their circumstance, but of mine. It is hard to watch people be blissfully excited about a new baby mere minutes after POAS when I know that if I'm ever pregnant again, that blissful anticipation just won't exist for me. There are no guarantees.


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## fierrbugg (Jul 24, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jules09* 
I like the Duggars, but what upsets me sometimes is that they (and nearly everyone I know) gets pregnant and announces it, and then goes on to have a baby. There's never a doubt. They announce it as soon as the pee on the stick (at least they did on an episode I saw where the son's wife got pregnant, I forget their names). I just wish that was the case for me. I wish *I* had a baby already. A baby who I could take home, that is. It's hard not to feel sorry for myself. I hear you, Kerry.









:

I have often said that if I ever get pg again, I'm not announcing anything until I have a healthy babe in my arms. I think I'm serious.

I also like the Duggars, but was still a little jealous and sad for me when I read that they are pg again.


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## MFuglei (Nov 7, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expatmommy* 
It is hard not to be bitter. Not so much because of their circumstance, but of mine. It is hard to watch people be blissfully excited about a new baby mere minutes after POAS when I know that if I'm ever pregnant again, that blissful anticipation just won't exist for me. There are no guarantees.

I was that person. Twice. I got a BFP with my daughter at 4 weeks on the nose and told the world 2 days later. I got a BFP with my son at 3 weeks 1 day (yeah, YEAH, I KNOW) and TOLD THE WORLD IMMEDIATELY.

Looking back, I feel that I was insane! With losses at 6w5d and 10w5d, I doubt we'll tell anyone anything before the end of the first tri.


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## expatmommy (Nov 7, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MFuglei* 
I was that person. Twice. I got a BFP with my daughter at 4 weeks on the nose and told the world 2 days later. I got a BFP with my son at 3 weeks 1 day (yeah, YEAH, I KNOW) and TOLD THE WORLD IMMEDIATELY.

Looking back, I feel that I was insane! With losses at 6w5d and 10w5d, I doubt we'll tell anyone anything before the end of the first tri.

I was that person too. Now sometimes I look back on those earlier unknowing days & just feel so stupid for my naivety. I hate that loss doesn't just taint the future; it also taints the past.


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## jess_paez (Jul 5, 2008)

fierrbugg said:


> :
> 
> I have often said that if I ever get pg again, I'm not announcing anything until I have a healthy babe in my arms. I think I'm serious.
> 
> ...


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## Amy&4girls (Oct 30, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expatmommy* 
I hate that loss doesn't just taint the future; it also taints the past.

so so true


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## MI_Dawn (Jun 30, 2005)

Her and the Octomom...

but I used to take it for granted, too. Sure, I worried, a little... but nothing like it is now.









We're all forever changed...


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## ladyjools (May 25, 2009)

we seem to have all lossed an innocence around pregnancy that we can't get back
but there is a way to see this in a positive light
when we hold our rainbow babies we will truely 100 percent apreciate the miricle in our arms and never take our babies for granted,
they will be so loved in a very special way

Jools


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## Vespertina (Sep 30, 2006)

Not a big Duggar fan and definitely don't care for quiverfull.


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## AngelBee (Sep 8, 2004)




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## hippy mum (Aug 12, 2006)

I've never watched, only heard of them recently. I wonder if something happens (I hope not), if they will continue to air and show how a family copes w/ a loss?


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## ecstaticmama24 (Sep 20, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MI_Dawn* 

but I used to take it for granted, too. Sure, I worried, a little... but nothing like it is now.










We're all forever changed...

I hear ya.. I totally took it for granted, never expected a bad outcome.


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