# B&B told us we can't co-sleep?



## femalephish (Feb 3, 2009)

I am going for an overnight with my family and we booked a room at a medium sized B&B online. I got an email from the owner and she said, "the room that you picked cannot accomidate 2 adults and a child". I wrote back, explaining that my 'one child' is a baby and she sleeps with us in bed at home and would be sleeping in bed with us on our trip. She wrote back saying she wasn't "comfortable" with that and the "fire marshall" is really strict about these things. Could we bring a pack n play for the baby to sleep in?

First- I think having a pack n play in a small room is much more of a fire danger than having a toddler in bed with us. DH says we should just lie, bring the pack n play and have her sleep with us anyway. But I just really hate lying and I don't feel like I should have to lie. Cosleeping is safe! I just feel really discouraged. I feel like I'm always defending my parenting choices. Even to strangers!

I think I just needed to rant to people who would understand... but what would you do?


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

Most B&Bs that I've known don't even accept children. Is it possible they're trying to tell you they don't accept children?


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## pinky (Nov 21, 2001)

I'm with your DH. If it's easy to just bring the pack-n-play, just do it. And then sleep how you usually do. It's not like they'll be doing a middle of the night inspection.


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## prothyraia (Feb 12, 2007)

If it's an issue with the fire marshal (i.e. max occupancy of the room) then I don't think it matters if the baby is in your bed or in a pack and play. There's still too many people in the room. So....if they told you to bring it....that doesn't make any sense at all.


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## dachshundqueen (Dec 17, 2004)

I have also run into this issue with a bed and breakfast and other hotels. I generally have to rent a larger room for the night.

In the case of one place, I ended up with a cabin instead of a room with a king size to accommodate the fire marshall requirements.

In another B&B, I rented a room with 2 twins and a king size bed, but we still co-slept.

They do have to cover their hineys WRT fire code.

Liz


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## Magali (Jun 8, 2007)

I'd bring a pack n play and not use it...even though it doesn't make any sense why in the event of a fire your baby being in bed with you would be a big problem, as opposed to the pack n play







.


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## mommy2maya (Jun 7, 2003)

Was the suggestion to bring the pack and play from the b&b?


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## kittywitty (Jul 5, 2005)

I would pick a different B&B. I wouldn't patronize a place that was using excuses to exclude my children.


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## rhiOrion (Feb 17, 2009)

That's silly. It makes sense if the total number of people in the room is limited to two, and that baby counts as a person. But bringing a packnplay does not make there only be two people in the room.


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## Lady Lilya (Jan 27, 2007)

I would e-mail back that you are bringing a portable crib. Then bring it. There is no lying there. You aren't saying that you will use it, but you are letting them infer that.

Then if they still have a problem with 3 individuals in a room meant for 2, they can say so.


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## just_lily (Feb 29, 2008)

It sounds like the issue is maximum occupancy, not cosleeping.


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## Mackenzie (Sep 26, 2004)

It sounds like the P&P idea was your own and not the B&Bs, right? If so, then the max occupancy regulation is over the room, not the bed... Did you inquire about a 3 person room?


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## Melaniee (Apr 15, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *prothyraia* 
If it's an issue with the fire marshal (i.e. max occupancy of the room) then I don't think it matters if the baby is in your bed or in a pack and play. There's still too many people in the room. So....if they told you to bring it....that doesn't make any sense at all.

Yeah, that. Lame. I wouldn't have expected an B&B owner to ALSO be imparting their family values on you.







But then again, I've never been to a little B&B, just bigger places.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Magali* 
I'd bring a pack n play and not use it...even though it doesn't make any sense why in the event of a fire your baby being in bed with you would be a big problem, as opposed to the pack n play







.

If you own or can borrow one, that's what I'd do.


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## JudiAU (Jun 29, 2008)

Most B&Bs don't want children and especially don't want babies. I think you are getting a not so subtle hint....


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## femalephish (Feb 3, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommy2maya* 
Was the suggestion to bring the pack and play from the b&b?

Yes, this was the INNKEEPERS idea. She wrote me in an emai, "Can you bring a pack n play for the baby to sleep in?"

The website even says that they are a child-friendly place.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

Then they'er just trying to limit their liability. I'd bring a pack and play so they've done their due diligence thing, and then sleep how I wanted.


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## UberMama (Feb 27, 2007)

Bring a P&P and just have baby sleep with you in bed. A small hassle to bring the P&P, but it works out then.


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## odenata (Feb 1, 2005)

Honestly, I wouldn't go to that B&B. If it was a fire issue, as she stated, a pack and play doesn't change that. It sounds like she is making excuses because she isn't comfortable with your parenting decisions.

You have much more interaction with the owner of a B&B than at a hotel or such, which is why I like them, but it also means that if that owner is nosy/annoying/rude, your trip will be much less fun. I wouldn't bother with her.


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## babygirlsmama (Dec 3, 2009)

I totally agree with the last response. The point being that I would already be put-off by the whole situation, and it would ruin the good vibes I would want on my vacation. I might pick another place. I'm now thinking that there are a few upsides to the sterile chain hotels.


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## Princess ConsuelaB (Apr 11, 2008)

Bring the pack&play and cosleep anyhow, this is what we always did. The innkeeper is giving you an "out" that also covers her own backside regulation-wise.


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## taramoon13 (Apr 17, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lady Lilya* 
I would e-mail back that you are bringing a portable crib. Then bring it. There is no lying there. You aren't saying that you will use it, but you are letting them infer that.

Then if they still have a problem with 3 individuals in a room meant for 2, they can say so.










we stayed in a B&B when ds was about 2 and the owner was happy to have us there. so i would agree that there are some that probably don't want children i know there are plenty that are also family friendly. i could definitely see them just being worried about the fire hazard issue.


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## number572 (Aug 25, 2004)

I'd call the fire department wherever you're going and ask about it. I can see how, if a fire broke out and the firecrew went into a room meant for two adults max, found two adults passed out from smoke inhalation but didn't notice the baby in the bed - that would be so terrible... they might however notice a crib in the smokey room and then search for an infant... just where my mind went with your OP.


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## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

to everyone who said bring the p&p then sleep how you want.


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## femalephish (Feb 3, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *taramoon13* 








we stayed in a B&B when ds was about 2 and the owner was happy to have us there. so i would agree that there are some that probably don't want children i know there are plenty that are also family friendly. i could definitely see them just being worried about the fire hazard issue.

OK, that's what we did. I wrote back and said, 'no worries, we have a p&p that we can bring.' She said great and asked if there was anything special that our baby might want for breakfast. And I didn't _really_ lie.









Thanks for all your responses. I know you guys understand that it's just tough to feel like you always have to defend your parenting choices.


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## MadameXCupcake (Dec 14, 2007)

I never knew B&B didn't like children. Growing up the best vacation we went on was from FL to a B&B in Pa. They had the biggest and most amazing two story play house[like a normal house with play kitchen and loft] and we got to milk cows! I guess I never realized this wasn't normal for B&B's as I haven't gotten to go to another.


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## ssh (Aug 12, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *just_lily* 
It sounds like the issue is maximum occupancy, not cosleeping.

This. We often stay places that have sleeper sofas or murphy beds. But the maximum occupancy rules are firm regardless of the age of the people.


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## JessicaS (Nov 18, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MadameXCupcake* 
I never knew B&B didn't like children. Growing up the best vacation we went on was from FL to a B&B in Pa. They had the biggest and most amazing two story play house[like a normal house with play kitchen and loft] and we got to milk cows! I guess I never realized this wasn't normal for B&B's as I haven't gotten to go to another.

Some are intending to attract people planning romantic get aways. It just really depends on the B&B.


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## YvonneC-M (Feb 9, 2010)

If the B&B specifically states that they're family-friendly, then my guess is the owner was concerned about liability issues: if the baby fell off the bed or if their bedding caused suffocation. As your DH suggested, dutifully bring the P&P, then sleep in the manner you wish.


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## wallabi (Oct 9, 2007)

sounds like you ahve a solutiont hat works for you, so replying now is a bit silly, but FWIW, in defence of the innkeeper, I read it this way:
max. occupancy might not be based just on square footage, and I can see the rule being max 2 people in a room with one bed. By bringing the pack and play, you are turning it into a room with 2 beds, which could then have a max occupancy of 3 people.

dunno, and it doesn`t matter much, but as a small business owner myself, I can assure you that there are plenty of little illogical rules like that out there!


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## mommy212 (Mar 2, 2010)

I would lie and not give a hoot about it


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## featherd (Aug 2, 2008)

Honestly, I think this b&b owner is ridiculous. It is non of her business how you sleep in the room if the baby is allowed in the room! I would not mention it anymore and NOT bring the pack and play.Why inconvenience yourself by hauling even more stuff ? I would just be sweet as pie and not mention a thing.
If the fire marshall allows a baby in the room a baby cosleeping is not an issue, there are not fire regulations for an infant sleeping with their parents!!


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## Happeesupermom (Jan 5, 2010)

So..........









Why would WHERE you sleep in the room be any of their business? What would/could they do if you were up late and fell asleep on the sofa? Or if DC fell asleep on the floor with her binky? Or you were all snuggling for a night-night story in bed and ALL fell asleep there?

I agree with PP-- I think the B&B owner is being ridiculous.


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## AshleytheIslander (Jun 5, 2010)

Yep, sounds like a liabilty thing and you've settled it well.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

"why yes of course that would be possible" (subtext, "but we won't be doing it")
then when/if she asks about the baby sleeping
"the baby slept just fine!"


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