# Five year old panic attacks?



## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

For the second time in about 6 months, dd (5) had what I can only describe as a panic attack.

We went to see a Charlie and the Chocolate Factory put on by the Children's Theater. Dd BEGGED to go see this. Her older brother had been invited to see it the week before, and she desperately wanted to go. She was excited to go.

She was excited all the way until we walked into the theater. Then she started to say "I'm scared". She was OK until we sat down in our seats (1st balcony, not too close), and she freaked out. I cuddled her. We talked about the story (we've read the story, she's seen 2 movie versions, she KNOWS the story). She calmed down a bit. Then the house lights went down and she freaked again. She wanted to go home. The only thing that would do was to go home. She cried. She'd bury her head in my shoulder and sob loudly. She stopped every couple of minutes, watched the action on stage, and then collapsed back into sobbing and saying she wanted to go home.

After 10-15 minutes of this, we left. I confess I wasn't at my most sympathetic by the end. It's like she gets stuck in a rut and can't get out. NOTHING I do or say will help. She just gets more and more hysterical until we leave. I was also ticked at the money and time that were wasted. (The artistic director even offered the crying room to watch it in, and she wouldn't try.)

We've had 1-2 other incidents like this. One happened at the beach after we got hit by a wave. Admittedly, that was a little scary, but there was no calming her down. We had to leave. We had already booked a camping trip at the beach before the wave incident, and she had similar panic attacks at the beach camping trip, even though there were very few waves.

I'm really at a loss. I feel that when we leave, we reinforce her fear. Yet, sticking it out really isn't an option. (At least it wasn't today. The people around us were already upset, and I don't blame them.) She fixates on something and can't get out of the rut. She's completely irrational. I don't do well with irrationality. Especially when it ruins something I want to do. (Petty, but true.)


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

overactive imagination? irrational fear?

dunno.

at 6 my dd sat and gave me some advice. she told me how her panic attacks were complete emotions. that means it has a beginning, middle and end. that she needs to go thru the whole emotion to recover from it. she doesnt like me to stop her or divert her emotions or even tell her what to do like take deep breathes to help her calm down.

she informed me the only help i could offer was a purely supportive role. if i could just sit with her silently and just be there that is a great reassurance. during panic attacks she wants no talking, no guiding from me. she wants me to just sit with her or hold her and rock her,

lher behavior is v. different when seh is in panic attack. her crying is more intense. deep sobs wrack her body and she hyperventilates. i just sit with her following her lead.

yeah we have had the same theater reaction excepgt it was the little mermaid. irrational fear. it got worse around 4 1/2 but from around 6 they came down a lot. she only has rare ones now at 7.


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## BellinghamCrunchie (Sep 7, 2005)

I had those irrational panic attacks when I was that age (and older - up to about age 10). My parents mostly got irritated and didn't understand. Sometimes (especially in public) they were very sympathetic and kind.

There were a variety of responses from my parents to my panic attacks. The main point I want to make was that _it didn't really matter._ No response of theirs made it better, none made it worse... the only thing about the angry response is that it just kind of heaped on an additional dynamic that I had to process once I was calmer, but their being angry, or being calm, or being understanding, or being confused - none of that mattered in the panicked moment. I just needed to get out of whatever environment I was in.

I really don't think that removing her from the environment that is upsetting to her will in any way reinforce the fear response. In a paradoxical way, allowing her the power to leave helps increase her tolerance of the frightening situation, over time. Showing her that you are willing to assist in removing the frightening thing or place allows her to not have to get so worked up, and its a small but significant success to leave a place she is frightened of while still scared but calm rather than crying and terrified.

Getting older was the cure. Around age 10, I started to enjoy challenging myself (e.g. "I used to be scared of this dark basement; I want to see how far I can go by myself today!").


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## sunnmama (Jul 3, 2003)

My dd had/has those sometimes. She does have anxiety, in general. She was in therapy for anxiety at 6-7 yo, and her therapist clarified that these are _anxiety attacks_, rather than panic attacks, because they are in response to an honest stressor (the play, the dark, the waves), rather than coming on out of the blue for no apparent reason.

We would deal by removing her and calming her down, and then slowly reexposing her as she was able to handle it. She gets terrified in large, loud spaces, and has had a few of these anxiety attacks in natural history museums, for example. It is slowly getting better, over the years. Therapy certainly did help lower her general anxiety level and improve her coping skills, which also helped reduce the incidence of anxiety attacks.


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

Well, last night before bed, she was very sad because she didn't get to see the play. She definitely had mixed emotions -- she very much wanted to do this, and yet couldn't.

Thanks for the responses. I guess I need to work on my deep breathing and reaction. It sounds, really, like there's not much I can do. Maybe that's what's frustrating me the most. I want to be able to fix it and make her feel better. I'm her mom, and I HATE feeling powerless.

The artistic director actually gave me his card and said to call the box office and have them comp us some tickets to their next show, which he said would work better for her age. I didn't have the heart to tell him that it wasn't the AGE appropriateness, but the whole theater experience that was overwhelming. Dh is willing to try again with her. He does much better with her.

Given what others have posted, maybe dd's response is better described as an anxiety attack, rather than a panic attack. What she wants is to flee. My kids apparently have a very strong 'flight' response.

Sigh, and she's currently having a fit in bed because she wants to finish the Boxcar children book but it's too advanced for her. Never mind that she's 5 and CAN read at a low 2nd grade level. Who's the patron saint of overexcitable children? I'm going to need all the help I can get!


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## DariusMom (May 29, 2005)

My six year old (nearly seven) has started having these attacks. Thanks, Lynn, for posting this thread, because your experiences and those of those who responded have really been very helpful.

DS got very anxious and panicky in the forest with DH and me when we went for a walk -- on a well-traveled trail with the occasional other hiker or biker coming along . .. no bears or scary things in sight! There have been other things like this popping up. I have to admit that DH and I were at a loss and also getting very irritated (though we tried not to let DS see that).

We were also thinking of some kind of therapy or counseling.

Anyway, it's good to know we're not alone, and also good to know that some kids seem to outgrow it.


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## sunnmama (Jul 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LynnS6* 
Sigh, and she's currently having a fit in bed because she wants to finish the Boxcar children book but it's too advanced for her. Never mind that she's 5 and CAN read at a low 2nd grade level. Who's the patron saint of overexcitable children? I'm going to need all the help I can get!

LOL! That sounds like my dd, too. She pretty much _refused_ to read until she could read more complex chapter books


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## sunnmama (Jul 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LynnS6* 
It sounds, really, like there's not much I can do.

If it is just a few specific fears, and occasional attacks, then, yes, responding patiently as needed is probably enough.

But if you see (as we did with our dd) her circle of "ok" activities getting smaller and smaller--and her list of fears growing longer and longer--then addressing the underlying anxiety is really necessary. We looked at dd and celebrated small improvements (starting a new class without too much freak-out, getting through a museum without melting down), but didn't quite grasp that her peers were lightyears ahead-- and moving so fast that she was never going to catch up-- until her therapist pointed it out. He was certainly right, in dd's case. And, she is a MUCH happier child when her anxiety is lessened, and she is able to do the things she wants to do.


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## Surfacing (Jul 19, 2005)




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