# refusing to use potty for pooping



## cww (Jun 1, 2010)

Our younger DD just turned 2, and she has been consistently potty trained for pee for many months now. We basically just left the potty out and gave her lots of diaper-free time, and sometime between 18-24 months, she basically became very reliable. She always tells us when she needs to pee, and often just goes to the potty herself (she can pull her own pants up and down). 

But for some crazy reason, she just doesn't want to poop on the potty. She does it occasionally, but most of the time she goes into the bathroom (or into another room and closes the door) and then poops in her pants. She will often tell me while she is doing it, but she doesn't want to poop on the potty. 

Sometimes she will tell us that she needs to poop, and we will go to the potty, and nothing will happen, and then she will repeat this 5 times or so, going every 5-10 minutes. But then once she actually starts pooping, she doesn't go to the potty, and she only tells me after it is underway. 

I'm just wondering if anyone has had this experience, and if so, what kind of solutions worked for you?

Thanks for taking the time to read my post!


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## sarahdawes (Mar 5, 2016)

Am following this post as I too have this issue, so would be interested in hearing someone else's advice!


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## VsAngela (Aug 12, 2015)

I think every child is different and my almost 4-year-old is finally potty trained completely. Thou she was really good at telling me before hand when it came to poop. There were many times that she look at me and tell me she was going in her pants

Not too long ago and I had posted this

http://www.mothering.com/forum/17518-potty-learning/1542809-i-am-going-crazy-potty-woes.html#post19239098

I thought there was a medical issue considering most kids her age were not having accidents every time like she did

Here is what I did

- I tried my best to keep her in underwear all day, some days I gave in for my sanity
- I started getting her to clean up her messes and put in clothes in the laundry. I got her to clean her messes, not in a negative way but more like a " You had an accident and you need to clean it up"

It's been 3 weeks and she only as very small accidents like she pees a bit not wetting enough that I need to change her underpants and underwear.

Hope this helps and good luck


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## WallaWallaMamma (Dec 14, 2013)

I had the opposite problem with my oldest. Peeing in the toilet was such a challenge but poop always happened in the bowl. For us it was a confidence issue, as well as a coordination one. My oldest just didn't feel comfortable removing clothing herself to pee, and didn't pick up on pee signals the way she did for poop. It just took patience, and sometimes backing off and letting her set the pace. Also, for what it's worth, mastering potty use, especially pee, has always been a good indicator of my DD's stress level; every time she goes back to school after a break, or starts a new activity or friendship, I see a noticeable uptick in accidents for about a week or two. Every time. And she is four. Maybe there is another factor at play for you, or maybe your daughter is feeding off your confusion/concern? Just a thought.


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## BlessedBeyondMeasure (Mar 14, 2016)

We are having the same issue. Just potty trained and peeing is going great! (she's a little over 2 years old) I have yet to be able to catch her in time to go to the potty when pooping, but she is good at telling me when she pooped so I'm hopeful that's at least a good sign. :smile: And now she says, "Yucky. Poop go in the potty." I'm hoping in the next couple of weeks she will make the full connection and stop going in her underwear. Until then I just have her help me clean up the mess and remind her pooping is for the potty not underwear. My sister had the same issue with her little one and eventually my niece just had a "got it" kind of moment and stopped pooping in her pants.


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## cww (Jun 1, 2010)

Thanks for all the replies, everyone. It is at least good to know that we aren't the only ones. It is a bit baffling for us, since we never had this issue at all with our older DD--pooping in the potty was never an issue, peeing took a few months for her to get the hang of things (but neither was particularly hard). 

But our younger DD has been potty trained for over 6 months now, and still she won't poop in the potty. Occasionally we catch one, but overwhelmingly she goes in her pants (usually we can tell right away, but by then it is too late to get her onto the potty). I don't know what else to do other than to assume that she will eventually grow out of it. But she will start some part-time preschool in a little less than a month, and I'm concerned about how they will handle things. I don't want them to just put her back into diapers again. 

She is old enough to understand us when we tell her that poop goes in the potty. She is completely comfortable going to the potty on her own for pee, including pulling pants/up down and keeping dresses out of the way if she is wearing one. But she just really resists going onto the potty for poop. It is almost like she thinks it will hurt or otherwise be a problem to poop on the potty--if she is obviously pooping in her pants and we ask her if she is pooping, she will shout "no" and try to run in the opposite direction. I really don't know how to counteract that. I don't want to bribe her. But I don't know how to make her comfortable with pooping on the potty. It is not as though we have yelled at her or done anything dramatic around this issue. If she poops in her pants or on the floor we simply clean it up and explain calmly that it goes in the potty. 

It wouldn't worry me if this went on for a month or two, but this has been dragging on for ages and ages (more than 6 months--maybe 7 or 8 by now?) and I feel like we aren't making any progress. I don't think she is incapable of pooping on the potty, but rather that she just strongly prefers not to. And how do you reason with that?!?


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## girlspn (Apr 14, 2011)

I had this issue with my older dd. She always peed in the toilet (refused the potty) but always pooped standing up in her underwear. What made her start reliably pooping in the toilet was watching other kids do it in her Montessori toddler program (some kids were older). She was about 2 years and 4 months old at the time. 

Her younger sister is now sort of potty learning (only 17 months and refuses to wear diapers so I'm letting her go without diapers), and so far when I see her start to strain, I just take her to the toilet. She says 'pee pee' when she wants to pee, but doesn't say anything for poops yet.


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## cww (Jun 1, 2010)

Thanks for your reply, girlspn. I'm glad to hear there is hope.  Our DD is now about 2y 2m, and will be starting preschool part time in a few weeks, but I'm not sure how the preschool will handle it--we will have to ask them when we go in to meet with them the week before she starts. I could also try asking her older sister to model pooping on the potty for her more clearly, but I'm not exactly sure how to go about that (but maybe my older DD will have ideas of her own ). 

If anyone else out there has suggestions out there, please do feel free to let me know!


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## Honey Lamb & I (Nov 22, 2016)

My daughter was the same way when she turned two she would pee but wouldn't poop in the potty. I laid off hovering over her to use the potty for a couple of months. When I tried again, I used only underwear no pull ups because she couldn't tell the difference between pull ups and a diaper. She would always go hide and poop in her diaper too. In the beginning, she would freak out when she had to go poop because she didn't want to go on the floor or in her panties. I would carry her to the potty and hug her while she pooped and encouraged her. Then afterwards gave her a "treat." Practice makes perfect. She got used to it and now tells me to go away and give her two minutes.


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