# EC gone wrong and PT. Please help



## jubarbati (Jan 11, 2016)

Mommas! Please help!!! I ec'd my daughter from 2-9mo very successfully and took a break bc I got exhausted of bringing a heavy baby to the potty all the time. When I picked back up again she wasn't having it so I let it go. Still, I'd let her do naked time and pee everywhere (stupid I know!) Now she's 20 mon we're potty training and needless to say it's not going well since she's used to peeing all over. My question is: Does anyone here have experience with this or advice to give? I tried letting her go commando but she peed and pooped her pants almost immediately. Please help!!!


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## Dairyfan (Jul 3, 2017)

*Toilet learning*

Hi,

I haven't got any experience with EC so there may be someone with experience in this who can suggest how to repair things when EC breaks down, however if all else fails my advice from my own experience with my now 3.25 yr old daughter would be to start afresh with using nappies (diapers) and wait until your toddler shows that they are ready, whilst taking opportunities for increasing their awareness of toilet use along the way.

When our daughter turned 1 yr, and I hadn't started to find out about how to potty train, I heard someone mention that you didn't need to and they would pick it up by themselves when they were ready. I was intrigued by this but found after searching for some time on the internet that there was very little information available about this. Search results on toilet learning or similar were dominated by potty training or other early learning methods like EC.

There are some articles like these two that encouraged me more recently, and below these I will explain more about our own experience.

3-reasons-kids-dont-need-toilet-training-and-what-to-do-instead - author Janet Lansbury

Lifeovercs how-i-didnt-potty-train-my-kids - author Kim Staten

From the beginning with our daughter we had an open door policy for the bathroom (for the first year or more she was almost always with me anyway and would sit on my lap on the toilet with me, sometimes even in a sling though often not awake!), she was in cloth nappies all the time except sometimes when we were out and changed her with a disposable and also when she went to her childminder once a week from 12-24 months, and 3 times a week from 24-months till present. Over time she started to show signs of increasing readiness to use a toilet/potty notably at 2 yrs when she had about 4 dry nights in a row and I noticed she was drier for longer in between nappy changes. She was willing to try sitting on the toddler seat or a potty when we introduced these - I got a potty in a charity shop after she spent some time playing on it so I thought that I should run with that, but over the next year her interest in these was sporadic, and I felt it was wrong to force otherwise, which she clearly did not like when I tried to. I also noticed that when she was in a mental leap, which I observed in her roughly every other month after the age of 2 (search the 'Wonder weeks' on the internet) she really wouldn't want to be independent on the toilet and wanted to keep her nappy, though after a leap she might show more awareness and willingness than before.

At her childminders and other groups she saw her peers learning too which she has even talked about more recently, and over time she gradually changed her own communication about needing changing, from not minding having a wee or a poo in her nappy (sometimes she didn't want changing!), to starting to hide for a poo, to telling me that she had done a wee or a poo, to telling me that she needed to do one, but at my asking she would say she wanted to do it in her nappy, to saying she needed the toilet or potty and wanting to use the toilet or potty. This last change happened at 3 yrs and 2 months, and happened virtually overnight. One weekend she just began to want to use the potty or toilet (which has a special integrated toddler seat)

She is now 3 yrs and 3 months and she is practically dry. She now wears towelled pants, (occasionally knickers but I prefer the towelled pants as these just mean a wet bottom and prevent a puddle below her if she goes in her pants) or disposable pull-ups and occasionally nappies (we kept using cloth or disposable nappies to begin with though these stayed dry mostly and have slowly transitioned to pants that she can pull down and up herself), and she is dry at night, asking to go to the toilet when she needs to (and if she doesn't ask I need to make sure I take her anyway). I find the riskiest time for her not identifying that she needs to wait or hold on (I prefer to describe it more like this and avoid the word 'accident' if possible) which is infrequent and becoming even less likely, is in the evening when she is tired, or if she has had a lot to drink! For example yesterday she had two accidents in the evening, but two nights before we were out unusually late at the supermarket and she asked to go to the toilet and held on until we got to the bathroom both times.

We have a potty upstairs and downstairs and the toilet seat with a step which she can use by herself. She has had days where she has been able to improve her independence by not wearing any pants, and I have tried to dress her appropriately so she can be independent - easy to lift dresses (fortunately she likes these) or easy to pull down shorts/bottoms. A lot of good weather in the last 2 months has also helped!

I hope this might be of help,
Best wishes x


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## mumto1 (Feb 17, 2016)

*if she has no bladder control*

then going diaperless isn'/t a great option for her. She needs to show long periods of holding and controlling her peeing, some kids bladders take longer to mature.


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