# Not urinating after circumcision



## essnce629

I'm so sad to write this as I wasn't able to save my best friend's baby boy from getting circumcised. I was her doula and we discussed circumcision almost daily for the last 9 months. I made her read every single article on the subject, watch every single graphic video, etc, etc and prayed that she wouldn't do it after she saw how perfect he was after birth. I had written about her in a previous post asking for help:

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...10#post9695910

I was with her last night at the hospital when she signed the consent form. The nurse told her if they did it to make sure he peed before they took him home from the hospital. She didn't say why exactly this was, but she said that a lot of nurses don't tell the parents this, but that she was "old school" and that in her experience it was very important that they make sure he urinate before leaving the hospital. After the nurse left the room with the consent form and I was getting ready to leave, my friend's boyfriend/baby's father said that he didn't really want to do it any more (the circumsion)! My mouth almost hit the floor when I heard this and I turned around to try and persuade him not to. I had never talked to him about it all all (only to my friend) since she had begged my not to bring up the topic to him since it always made him get super angry and storm out. So I threw out a bunch of facts and info-- that their son was perfect the way he was, the rates in CA are only 28% and dropping yearly, they can always come back and get in done later, that it may affect breastfeeding (and they were already having breastfeeding challenges), that complications do occur such as hemorrage, etc, and that they shouldn't do it if they had any doubts at all (which it sounded like they did). I basically just told him several times to just not do it.

I talked to my friend today though and learned that they did go through with it. He was circumcised at 9am this morning and they were discharged at 1pm. No one ever mentioned to them again the part about making sure he had urinated before going home. I talked to my friend today and I didn't want to hear a thing about the circ since thinking about it makes me so sad and makes me want to vomit at the same time. I couldn't even bring myself to say the word circumsion to her. But, I just talked to her on the phone again and she says the baby has not peed since before his circ. It's been 15 HOURS. I did a quick google search while talking to her and most websites (including the AAP) said to call the pediatrician immediately if they don't urinate within 6-8 hours. I did find two other sites that said 12 hours and one site that said 18 hours. I told her she should call the doctor. They were just about to go to bed so they said they'd talk about it and then decide. She thinks if she calls they'll tell her to bring the baby in and she just wants to go to sleep! I told her to call me back if she ends up calling. Then I did some more googling and read that urinary retention after circumcision is an often overlooked complication that can lead to kidney failure!







: I feel so sad for their baby right now. I wish I could have saved him. Does anyone else know anything about urinary retention after circumcision and how exactly the circ leads to this complication. Is it because the urethra swells shut or something? I really couldn't find much info on it.


----------



## MCatLvrMom2A&X

I would imagine the circ causes swelling and makes the urethra swell so bad urine cant pass. Obviously this mama is not thinking clearly or she would be worried about him not peeing.

I am so sorry this happened to the baby and I hope all is well with him. If he dosnt urinate his kidneys could be damaged along with his bladder possibly rupturing.


----------



## wonderwahine

you need to keep calling her and let her know this is an emergency situation, who cares about sleeping if your child gets kidney damage because you didnt think it was important enough.


----------



## Daisyuk

You need to make sure that baby gets to an ER right NOW. That's an emergency, a baby _died_ in Canada recently thanks to urine retention - caused by a plastibell ring.

Her baby is in DANGER how can she possibly want to go to sleep, what's the matter with the woman?


----------



## carriebft

Please keep us updated, I hope they went to the ER







:


----------



## Quirky

I would call no matter what time of the day or night and INSIST they get to an ER.

This is a life- and health-threatening emergency. Period. And these parents are risking their son's life.

I'm sorry, but they don't sound like people who are responsible enough to have a baby in the first place.







:


----------



## Yulia_R

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Quirky* 
I'm sorry, but they don't sound like people who are responsible enough to have a baby in the first place.







:









:


----------



## LavenderMae

I hope the baby has been looked at by now and he is okay. Any update?


----------



## Mary-Beth

Sorry for that sweet baby.
Praying he heals from this experience and is okay.


----------



## Papai

Wow. Urine retention is a new one.







:







:







:

I feel so sorry for that little boy.


----------



## carriebft

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Papai* 
Wow. Urine retention is a new one.







:







:







:

I feel so sorry for that little boy.

Fleiss's book says it is a known complication and I googled "circumcision urine retention" and even found a few studies on it.

Guess I will be adding that one to the risk list







:


----------



## carriebft

I've been thinking of this poor little boy all day...I Hope he is ok, I cant get him outta my head


----------



## Kleine Hexe

I can't say anything cause I have nothing nice to say


----------



## Claire and Boys

Quote:


Originally Posted by *carriebft* 
I've been thinking of this poor little boy all day...I Hope he is ok, I cant get him outta my head









me too







:


----------



## fruitful womb

This needs to be outlawed! And that doctor put in Jail!!! Both parents were second guessing it. Neither really wanted to do this!!! WHY IN THE WORLD DID THEY GO THROUGH WITH IT??? The pressure from Doctors must be enormously powerful! And our society breaks back bones early on in childhood so that social conformity is easier to maintain. Who profits from that?


----------



## essnce629

He peed-- at the 17 1/2 hour mark! They decided to give him 18 hours (since that's what one website said) before calling the doctor. I would have called a lot sooner though since most of the websites (including the AAP and a pediatric urology site) said 6-8 hours.

Thanks everyone. I was quite worried for him as well.


----------



## wonderwahine

at least he peed I guess...... I wish they had gone sooner though. I hope no long term damage has been done.


----------



## rabbitmum

Poor baby!


----------



## carriebft

The AAP says that not having enough wet diapers is cause for major concern and the child should be seen by a doctor. This baby definitely qualifies!!!!!! I have a book open right here from the AAP and it says that less than 6 wet diapers a day is a cause for concern and the baby should be seen!

If it isn't from the circumcision, he may not be getting enough food or something. He could be dehydrated. Just not good at all


----------



## QueenOfThePride

Quote:


Originally Posted by *carriebft* 
If it isn't from the circumcision, he may not be getting enough food or something. He could be dehydrated. Just not good at all









That's what I was thinking. He might not be nursing because of the trauma.


----------



## Genesis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kleine Hexe* 
I can't say anything cause I have nothing nice to say

Yeah that.







:







:


----------



## phatchristy

These poor innocent babies.


----------



## phdmama06

: Poor little guy. Maybe he was dehydrated a bit from not eating afterwards? It infuriated me that the mom seemed a little more concerned about getting her sleep than taking her baby to the doctor. Well, thank goodness he peed and everything is OK (as OK as it's going to be anyway.)


----------



## essnce629

It really is sad. I really thought I could get through to her and she wouldn't end up doing it. We have seriousely battled this out for the last 9 months. I really don't think I could have done anything else. I even went out and ordered her the book "Sex As Nature Intended" thinking it would help change her mind. She even watched every single graphic circ video out there. It just came down to "doing what her boyfriend wanted" (although he refused to even talk about it with her or research anything) in order to avoid making waves in their relationship. Poor baby.

I am quite happy to say though that in the last year, as a doula and a nanny, I've worked with 14 families who had baby boys under the age of two and only 4 out of the 14 boys were circumcised. It's just devastating that my best friend's baby ended being in the circumcised group.


----------



## MCatLvrMom2A&X

How has this affected your friendship with her?

My cousin who I have always been close to is pg. We dont know the gender and I gave her all the research and I dont know what she will decide to do. But honestly I dont know if I could stay close to her if she decides to circ.


----------



## Arduinna

WTF is her problem? I can't believe she didn't at least, call the Dr and talk to them about the baby not urinating and it had been over 12 hours.







:

*censoring the rest of my UA violation response*


----------



## tuansprincess

Poor baby. I do hope that there was no long-term damage done.

Some people


----------



## ledzepplon

Good grief. I have nothing to say that won't violate the UA.


----------



## mamajama

Please advise her to take note of the colour of the baby's urine. It should be clear. It's a good way to guage the level of dehydration. This could be a result of the circ. but it could also be due to her breastfeeding difficulties and the baby could be dehydrated. I hope she gets on top of things! Wet diaper checks are pretty important at this stage in the newborn's life.


----------



## balancedmama

:


----------



## ericswifey27

Why, why why?







:


----------



## essnce629

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MCatLvrMom2A&X* 
How has this affected your friendship with her?

I'm not sure yet. I had told her at one point in her pregnancy that if she went through with it, after all the research she'd done, I wasn't sure if I could be her friend any more after allowing her son to be mutilated. I just didn't think someone who had researched so much on the subject could actually consent to having it done.

I went to visit her tonight, which is the first time I'd seen her and the baby since they left the hospital (my mom and son came too). We were there for three hours and she changed his diaper several times during that time. I was in the room each time when she changed him but I didn't come near him since I didn't want to see the aftermath. She asked me if I wanted to see it and I said no. My mom also wouldn't look when she was in the room. My friend asked me if it really bothered me that much and I just said yes it does. While she was there she had to give me back all my pregnancy/birth books that I had loaned to her. Included in the batch was the "Sex As Nature Intended" book. I told her I'd keep it and give it to him when he's 18 and let him know about restoring (my boyfriend is in the process of restoring). We really do talk about everything and I know she's not offended by what I say so I continue on. At one point my son used her bathroom and she asked if he ever "misses" and pees outside the toilet. I told her that we've never had that problem ever (and he's been standing up to pee since he was 2) and she asked if it was because he is intact. I said I'm not sure, but maybe, since up to 10% of circumcised boys have what is called meatal stenosis which causes the urthral opening to constrict and sometimes causes the stream of urine to spray all over the place or makes the stream go sideways or upwards. I told her it was made worse from the unprotected urethral opening coming into contact with urine and feces in the diaper. We've also talked before about how intact penises of little boys seem to hang down normally, while a lot of circumcised little boys' penises seem to stick straight out like a mushroom, which I would think would making aiming into the toilet harder. So maybe, if I keep on talking to her about it, if she ever gets pregnant again with a 2nd son she'll keep him intact. We are in CA so I'm sure she'll be coming in contact with a lot of intact babies and little boys over the next few years. I'm leaving back to Virginia in two days (I flew in to CA for 3 1/2 weeks just to attend her birth) and I most likely won't be back for 6 months so I won't be around her all the time watching her change his diaper. I will continue to talk to her on the phone, and I'm still her doula, so I'll be around to offer advice.

On another note, the baby had his first check-up today and is doing well. He was 7lbs 6oz at birth and is now 7lbs even at 4 days postpartum-- he's already gained from his initial loss. Breastfeeding is going well (my friend was seen by a LC today), her milk has come in, and the baby is peeing and pooping regularly. All I can do is pray that his recovery from the circ is fast and I will continue to educate my friend on the subject.


----------



## rabbitmum

Quote:


Originally Posted by *essnce629* 
I am quite happy to say though that in the last year, as a doula and a nanny, I've worked with 14 families who had baby boys under the age of two and only 4 out of the 14 boys were circumcised. It's just devastating that my best friend's baby ended being in the circumcised group.

The more I read about circumcision, the sadder I am.







 I never knew something like this could be going on in a Western country with literacy, modern values (?) etc. It's good to know that there are people like you out there, trying to fight this insane tradition. I hope the little boy will be ok.


----------



## mamajama

I'm so glad to hear babe is doing well


----------

