# still waiting...



## surf mama

A week later I am still waiting to m/c. Mild cramping started yesterday and just a tiny bit of pink spotting today. I am just so ready for it to really start. I am praying about it. Visualizing myself opening up and letting the baby out. I am eating well and staying hydrated. I just wish my body would cooperate and let it happen.


----------



## Tummy

My baby lost his heartbeat four (4) weeks before my body let him go. I knew six (6) days before I actually M/C.

It is so hard. I honestly thought I was ready for what was about to happen, soooo wrong I was!

I wish you the absolute best in this journey. Remember, you are not alone! Feel free to post as much as you need to let go some of the hurt and frustration during this!

Hugs and Kisses to you!


----------



## surf mama

Thanks Tummy! I needed to hear that. I had no idea this waiting would be so hard. I saw the baby's heartbeat at 8wks and then didn't see it at 9 weeks so the midwife guesses we found out pretty close to when the baby died. She warned me that the wait might be long but I didn't want to believe it.


----------



## Tummy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *surf mama*
Thanks Tummy! I needed to hear that. I had no idea this waiting would be so hard. I saw the baby's heartbeat at 8wks and then didn't see it at 9 weeks so the midwife guesses we found out pretty close to when the baby died. She warned me that the wait might be long but I didn't want to believe it.

When I found out for sure (I already in my body knew)... the doc I seen called me at home hour after U/S.
I did ask her what was next, would I need a D&C, ect. Never lost a pregnancy before and this was my 6th.
She told me that if I felt comfortable doing so to just let my body "let go."

PMing you.


----------



## BethanyB

Surf mama- I am in exactly the same situation right now. Went for an u/s last Mon. and no heartbeat. I should be in my 8th week, but it looked like the embryo died around 6-6 1/2 weeks. I have had some cramping but no bleeding. I am going to work in a few hours-I am really pissed off about it. I just wish it would happen. I'll be visiting your post to see how things are going.


----------



## surf mama

Brooke- I am so sorry that you are having to wait too. It is hard enough to get the bad news but then to have to wait. It feels like it will never happen but I know it will eventually. I hope our bodies will figure this out soon!

I hope you'll come back and post your update too. I'll be thinking of you as you go thru this tough time!


----------



## Tummy

Still thinking of you, and now you also Bethany.

Sending you both the warmest wishes.


----------



## mumm

Still playing the waiting game too. I found out at 10w1d that the baby stopped at 7w1d. I'm waiting to miscarry now too. I'm losing hope that I can do it alone though. Geez- I spent a year and had IVF to get pregnant, can't stay pregnant, why should my body be able to figure this out? kwim?







:

I saw the heartbeat earlier too, so during this u/s it was pretty clear to me what had happened right away.

Hope that it can come soon and easily for everyone.

wishes for peace--


----------



## BethanyB

Surf mama- I'm just checking in. Wondering if anything has happened with you yet? I'm sure when it does, you'll post. Nothing has happened w/ me yet (even the mild cramping has stopped!







: ), so I don't know what to think...

Mumm- I'm sorry that you are still waiting also







. It really sucks, doesn't it?!

I am going to work in the city today (I live an hour+ away), so I'm kind of hoping today remains uneventful.


----------



## Naughty Dingo

I am sorry SurfMama, and Mumm too. this is so hard isn't it? Be gentle with yourselves.

When my MC finally happened it was an opportunity for me to connect and work with my baby to make strong productive contractions. Not what I had envisioned for this babe, but it had parts that were beautiful and that meant a lot to me and helped make the experience bearable.








ND


----------



## surf mama

mumm-I am so sorry that you are waiting too. Especially after all you went thru to get pg and after seeing the heartbeat earlier. It just isn't fair!

You might already know about it: I have found a lot of support over on the ttc board under the thread: 30+ and ttc for 1+year (the title words vary a little each month). A few people have used IVF and lots of people using IUI and lots of people just struggling with whether or not they will keep trying for kids. I know I'm not ready to ttc yet and I don't know how you are feeling about that but it is a good place to be for wherever you are in the process. Just thought I'd mention it in case it gives you a place for more support. I know I am appreciating every bit I get these days

Again, I am soooo sorry for your loss and I really hope your body figures this out for you real soon!

BethanyB-nothing here either....the cramps come and go and no spotting at all. I'm starting to get all kinds of crazy ideas...what if I go jogging, do jumping jacks...is there anything I can do to jump start it besides medication? ugh!


----------



## surf mama

Naughty Dingo- I have really appreciated your posts on many of these threads lately. You have really helped me by what you have shared and the way you worded things. Thanks!

Well I am still waiting...it will be 2wks on Monday since I was told the baby has no heartbeat. I can't believe it hasn't happened yet. I am still committed to m/c-ing naturally but I might need to try herbs or something to get it going. I am going to talk to my midwife on Monday and see what she says. As far as infections go-is there anything I should watch for besides fever?


----------



## Naughty Dingo

You know Mama, I think unfortunately the best thing to do is to wait for the hormone levels to drop to a point where your body can let go and start the labor. I don't know how healthy it would be to try to force it before your uterus is hormonally ready. I have heard that increases the risk of hemmorhage. Have you had a beta drawn? Maybe you could ask for one to get an idea of how low your HCG is, that may give you a ball park idea of how long you might have to wait.

As far as infection goes, look for fever, discharge, pain as hallmarks. But chances are if you aren't bleeding, then your uterus is still a "Closed system" and you won't be at risk of ascending infection. Once you start to bleed, there will be lots of blood flow to help prevent infection.

It is really hard to wait like this. I know I seriously thought about trying something to speed the process along but then decided against that. Are you still feeling pregnancy symptoms? For me it was a couple weeks after I stopped feeling sick.

Take care, this is a really hard and unique thing you are going through right now, but know you aren't alone. I think if you are comitted to allowing your body to do what it needs naturally, then in the end you will be glad to have not intervened. If the wait gets too hard, you will always have the option of changing your mind. What has your care provider offered you in terms of differen't options?

ND


----------



## surf mama

ND-thanks for that reply. I didn't know a lot of that. I am supposed to call my midwife tomorrow and schedule a time to go in for bloodwork. Now I am really curious to see where HCG is.


----------



## mumm

I'm sorry you are still waiting. I waited 4+ weeks from the time the fetus stopped doing its thing until I actually miscarried, and I'm really glad I did. I felt like my body couldn't get anything right,







. I couldn't get pg without a lot of help, couldn't stay pregnant. Letting my body do this properly gave me a bit of confidence. (Although now that I put it in writing it seems kinda perverse?!) It reminded me of my other births that had gone so well.

If I had had a d&c I would not have been able to see the perfectly intact sac with a perfect fetus inside, all still attached to the placenta. It was nice. (MAybe not nice, but I'm glad I had that opportunity.) After all the waiting it was just a couple of hours of cramps and one push.

I say you need to trust your instincts. Get your hCG & p4 levels, get all the information you can, but still listen to your heart.

Be gentle to yourself and patient with your body.


----------



## BethanyB

Surf mama- I haven't been on the boards for a few days (power outage) and was hoping to see that things had progressed for you







: . Nothing here yet either. Not even any cramping. I was supposed to go in again today, but cancelled it. I probably should have kept the appt since they would have checked hormone levels, but I didn't see the point of having another u/s. I was ready to get the medication to speed things up until I read naughty dingo's post; I think I will just wait it out also. As long as I don't get an infection, but I guess like N.D. said, there are plenty of warning signs for that. Hopefully things will start happening for us!


----------



## surf mama

I went to the see the midwife today and had the bloodwork done. My hormone levels are still high but she said not high enough to be 11 wks pg. I knew this pg was over but it is good to hear again that it really is. With all this waiting it has made me wonder. She said they drew blood to check something about blood clotting. If I understood right, sometimes when it takes awhile to m/c the mom's blood can start clotting. I had no idea all the stuff that can happen. But everything looked good so I just have to keep waiting and hoping. She felt comfortable with me waiting too. I think my friends and family all wish I would give in and get a d&c, but I am trying to not think about their opinions and keep doing what I know is right for me.

BethanyB-Glad you got your power back. I live in WA state by the beach so we got a crazy windy storm this weekend that made us lose our power for a bit too. I keep checking to see how you are. I really hope your waiting ends soon!


----------



## BethanyB

Surf mama-Ha ha, same storm! I live near Seattle


----------



## ELKMama

Hi all,

Thanks for sharing your experiences. So sorry you are going through this!

I, too, am waiting to m/c. Found out 8 days ago (at first u/s, which we scheduled just because we were confused about dates) that there is no heartbeat and embryo development was WAY behind the 10 weeks we'd thought... The sac and yolk were there, but nothing else. It has been hard taking this in but the visual evidence was so clear that there was no baby growing there that I am feeling resigned to that reality.

ND - Can you share some more info or resources on the dangers of NOT waiting (inducing with meds or maybe even D&C). I am a worrier and also WOH (with some business travel coming up) so I am feeling increasingly tempted to wait 1 more week and then try another strategy. I will be asking mw later today for more info, but would also like to hear whatever you have to share.

Sending hugs to all,
Erin


----------



## ELKMama

PS I have had *no* spotting, bleeding, or cramping yet... Thanks for the tip on pushing for a 2nd round of blood work to see where my HCG levels are.


----------



## Naughty Dingo

Hi Mamas, I am thinking of you all in these tough days for you









Erin, the main thing I understand about trying to induce the MC is that it increases the risk of serious hemmorhage, which then increases risk of having interventions like D&C and of course the negative effects of blood loss. Some Mamas, have had an induction with a gel on the cervix. I don't know much about that.

It is really hard to be in the place you are now because the mind and body aren't necessarily on the same time frame. The brain has a need to move on and process what is going on, and can't really do that until the miscarriage starts to happen.

For me, I had to believe in the innate wisdom of my body, and trust that it would do what it needed to do. It was really hard. For me personally though, it probably would have been harder to have the D&C. It was important to me to see my baby and have it to bury. On the other hand, I know many women, who felt the only way they could go on and start to heal was to have a D&C as soon as possible. Each woman is different.

But if you can, try to honor your body, and the wisdom it has, and it's abilities to take care of you. I know right now it probably feel really counterintuitive as your body takes the steps to release the baby it has started to grow, but if you can get your mind to take that leap, it might be easier for your mind to work with your body to accomplish what has to happen.

Sorry, this is kind of a ramble and probably doesn't address your original question very well.

Take care, ND


----------



## BethanyB

I am done waiting!!! I feel like I'm seriously losing my mind waiting around like this. I am calling my doc today to get meds to induce, or at least to talk to her about it. At this point I think I am ready to accept any side affects. I really don't want a d&c, but I'm still pushing for the meds and hopefully they will take care of all of it. I realize the risks of using the meds, but I feel like I'm already running the risk of going crazy waiting. I don't know what to do, but I can't go on like this much longer. I need some closure.

P.S. I'm still not having any cramping or bleeding, although yest. (this is graphic-warning) I had some mucousy-type discharge with a tinge of blood-maybe part of mucous plug??? but haven't had anything else since







:


----------



## surf mama

You should do what feels right for you. Sounds like your body is almost ready so maybe meds would help make sure it gets going. I've also heard the meds help to make sure it is complete. So if they work for you they might help you avoid a d&c. I am just so sorry you are having to go thru this!


----------



## ELKMama

Brooke, Sorry this is so hard and d***d long for you...

I am still planning to wait a while longer. Hoping to go at least another week and consider. But I'm a researcher and I couldn't help but start investigating...

There was an Aug 2005 article in the NE Journal of Medicine that looked at the effectiveness of using Misoprostol (Cytotec) to induce, as compared to D&Cs to induce. (Of course, they didn't track and follow people who waited for natural m/c, since the group studied was those who came into a clinic or ER.) They found that over 80% had a "successful" m/c with Misoprostol, meaning there was no need for follow-up D&C or other interventions. Most of those took the drug once (vaginally inserted...) but about 10% of those had to do a 2nd dose after 3 days. I'm not sure if the results are good news (mostly works) or not (20% still get further interventions), but I was glad to know more. My mw wasn't familiar with this although the OB who "read" the first u/s had told us it was an option. I guess it is b/c the research is pretty new and so some clinics are doing it and others aren't.

PM me if you want the full study.

Sending


----------



## surf mama

Still waiting and wondering if this will ever happen. I know it all has to come out eventually but 2 1/2 freakin' weeks later and nothing. Dh was off work for the last 8 days and of course it didn't happen. Now he is back to work for 2 days...he works two 24 hr shifts so I won't see him until Sunday morning. (If something starts happening he will try to get home as soon as possible but he works an hour and a half away.) And today no one else is around as back up either. So maybe today will be the day







wouldn't that be the way it would go.

ELKMama-sorry to hear you are still waiting too.

BethanyB-how are you doing? Did you decide to induce? I might be heading that way if nothing happens so I'll be curious to hear how it goes.


----------



## BethanyB

Aarrgh! So sorry Surf mama and Elk mama- nothing really significant here yet, except I think I'm doing a *tiny* bit of spotting. At least it's something! Monday is D-Day for me; I think I will probably ask for the drugs if it hasn't happened by then. My doc seemed kind of concerned over the phone and asked if I'd had a fever or anything, which I haven't. I don't want to wait so long that something bad could happen; I think it's probably healthier that everything is "out" soon. Emotionally, I am much better than I was Wed. I seriously think Wed was the day that my hormone levels started really dropping; it would explain the extreme emotions I was feeling, and that was the first day I noticed a slight staining-type of discharge (Yuk!-Sorry!). I think we need to look at our m/c's as a way of healing. Sounds strange, but it is, in a way. I'm trying to think of it as a way of cleansing. For whatever shi**y reason, our pg's didn't work out







but our bodies need to heal, and we will feel better when they do. Having said that, this is a process I had hoped never to experience.


----------



## mama4gals

Brooke, surfmama, and erin,







to you. I know how terrible the waiting can be. For me, the waiting was always a time of wondering, since the bleeding w/ all 4 of my m/c's was the first thing that clued me in to the death of my babies. It must be so hard to know your baby has died, and be waiting for the bleeding. I tend to think that letting it happen naturally is the best thing, unless there is some medical reason to get it over with. I think ND has a point. Our bodies know how to do this, generally, and we have to try to be patient and let it happen.







to you all.

Liz


----------



## ELKMama

Brooke, Is it weird to say that I'm glad for you that you've started spotting? Your idea that Wednesday's strong emotions may have signalled a hormonal shift rings true to me. I will be thinking of you this weekend, and through Monday and the conversations about what comes next.

Surf mama, Hope the work day went smoothly... and you are feeling OK.

No spotting or cramping here. I have been sleeping TERRIBLY and am feeling high strung and easily annoyed by my wonderful ds and dh... But it is probably wishful thinking that this means a hormone shift. I'm high strung and easily annoyed fairly often.









Sending hugs and strength to you all... Erin


----------



## pjabslenz

Sorry to hear you going through this. The waiting is difficult and the fear of the unknown is enough to drive one insane. Trust your body and continue to do what you feel is right for you. I admire you for waiting to allow your body to do what it can instead of giving in to the pressure of others.

I lost our baby at 8w4d this past August. Fortunately for me, I started spotting and within 5 days my body passed a tiny sac and placenta. Based on the size of the sac and the development of our baby, I am guessing our baby stopped developing sometime around 6 weeks. For me, trusting my body and having the opportunity to see & observe our little one was extremely healing. I will be praying that everything works out as you would like it to.

HUGS,


----------



## BethanyB

Erin- I think being easily irritated was the first sign for me that things were shifting. I was absolutely enraged the earlier part of this week, right before I got weepy. Unfortunately, my spotting has all but stopped







, and the d&c I have been so adamantly against is starting to sound good-if you can believe that. I am done waiting for things to happen naturally. This needs to END SOON.


----------



## surf mama

Brooke-I saw a new post from you and I was hoping things had started for you! I'm sorry! This waiting just keeps going. I'm still waiting too. Twinges and mild cramps but no spotting. I'm not sure when I'll be ready for a d&c...I am supposed to call my midwife tomorrow for more bloodwork.


----------



## ELKMama

Too bad, Brooke, that the spotting has slowed. (What a weird thing to say!! But I know you are READY to move to the next phase of this ...)

Did either of your midwives or docs bring up blue/black cohosh as an option? Mine did, though I felt like I would ask for more info later on if I wanted to pursue that. They are herbs that are supposed to start uterine contractions... Just curious.

Hoping you are doing well. Best, Erin


----------



## BethanyB

Surf mama- Maybe you and I should place a bet to see who goes first-just to make things interesting







: (I am kidding). When I see when you started this thread, and how long this has been going on... OY VEY!

Erin- I have thought about the black/blue cohosh, but w/o a midwife to help me w/ dosages, I kind of backed away from that idea. It can increase bleeding just like the inducing meds can, from what I've read. Anyway, I go in bright and early tomorrow morning, and hopefully will get some guidance and some answers, which of course I will share with y'all.

PS. I am much happier today because dh and I just went to the Humane Society and adopted an adorable little German Shepard puppy!







: (hey, I needed a diversion!) He still needs to get neutered, so we might be able to pick him up Valentine's Day







. O.K., so it's not like having a baby, but still, pretty exciting (and much less worrisome!)


----------



## ELKMama

A new puppy sounds wonderful, Brooke! Pets bring so much love, joy, and acceptance. Congrats on the new addition!


----------



## BethanyB

Well, I started the inducing meds last night. I have been taking ibuprofen 600's instead of the Vicodin my doc gave me (I hate narcotics) and so far my cramps haven't been too terrible. I am bleeding heavily and passing clots. My doc wants to avoid a d&c also, unless absolutely nescessary. I like her alot. She also talked to me about anti-depressants, which I am thinking about, and told me that if she was in my situation, she probably wouldn't even want to get out of bed, much less work, etc. She called me a "champ"! How cute. Anyway, emotionally I feel like the fog has lifted. I feel like I can move on once this is over, and focus on the positive things in my life, instead of the bad things.
I will update with my condition tonight. If anyone wants more info on going this route, feel free to PM me. I hope everyone is hanging in there, and that you all start your healing processes soon.







, Brooke


----------



## ELKMama

Thanks for the update, Brooke. The reality of bleeding heavily and passing clots made me sad for you all over again, but I am glad you got such good support from your doc and that you're feeling better!

Sending hugs...


----------



## pjabslenz

Thinking of you today.


----------



## mrsalf97




----------



## surf mama

Well I think and hope things are starting for me. I spotted yesterday but then it was gone this morning. But just a few minutes ago I noticed it is back and a little heavier. I hope this time it gets going for real!

Brooke-I'm glad to hear that things are finally happening for you! I am so sorry for this loss! Best wishes to you!

Erin-thinking of you too.

Is anyone else still waiting?


----------



## ericaz

I discovered I was going to miscarry last Thursday via ultrasound. I was around 9w at the time. There was a sack, but just cells....no baby. I've come to accept it but just want it to happen already. I've been spotting (mostly brown, but a few hours of red two nights ago) for a week and a half and had pretty bad cramping last night. Then, oddly the spotting came to a halt entirely. This morning, nada. I still have the cramps but they've tapered a bit as well. I've been thinking of getting some cohosh to expedite the process but really would like to let things happen naturally if possible.

I'm glad this thread is here....it helps to know I am not alone in this emotionally draining drawn out process.


----------



## ELKMama

Ericaz, Sorry to hear about your loss. I hope the waiting doesn't go on too much longer for you!

Surfmama, Hope things are moving along and you are feeling OK.

Brooke, I am thinking of you.

No news here. Not a spot, not a cramp. More waiting, I guess!


----------



## BethanyB

surf mama- It sounds like it is starting. It is depressing once it does, but I seriously feel way better at least knowing that this process is almost over. You have been waiting so long, and emotionally that is really tough. Maybe there should be a permanant "sticky" thread for women waiting to miscarry- so many people have found this thread you started to be so helpful!







to you.

ericaz- Sorry you are in our same boat







, but since you had actual red spotting, it sounds like it should happen soon.

Elkmama- I'm sorry nothing is happening yet! Try to hang in there







.

I think my bleeding is getting a little lighter, although it is still heavy. I didn't have the nerve to inspect anything that came out, and now I am kicking myself for it, because I'm really afraid of everything not clearing and having to get a d&c. I guess it wouldn't have made a difference anyway. I had thought about burying the sack, but when it came down to fishing around in the toilet, emotionally I couldn't do it. Part of me was afraid to see the little embryo, esp. if it resembled a baby in any way. That would have been too depressing for me to see







.I had some large clots and "things" pass the first night and morning of the medication, so maybe that was it. I guess as long as my bleeding doesn't go on forever, it was probably all done. I go in in two weeks for a check-up (arrgh! and another stupid u/s) to make sure. Overall, taking the medication was really easy. My cramping was easily controlled with ibuprofen, and the process wasn't as scary as I thought it would be-pretty much like a super heavy period. So if any of you decide to take matters into your own hands, it wasn't too aweful. I'll be checking in to see how you are all doing.





















-Brooke


----------



## surf mama

Things are still going. It turned to bleeding yesterday afternoon and into the evening but slowed down while I slept. It is still a little heavier than spotting but I hope it picks up a little more now that I am awake. I had to wait 3wks and a day for things to start. I really didn't think it would ever start. Before things got going yesterday morning dh and I planned out what we would do. I was going to schedule a visit to my midwife Thursday and get a referral for a d&c for Monday. I felt better having a plan and knowing that it would end eventually. And then of course it started so I can skip that plan.

Brooke-thinking of you and hoping you are doing okay.

ELKMama-I am still hoping things will start soon for you! How are you doing thru all that waiting?

ericaz-sorry you are having to wait too.


----------



## surf mama

Brooke-I just saw your post after I posted my last one. I'm glad the medication worked well for you. I just got a pm this morning from another mama who said she used medication for 2 m/cs and it went well for her too. I am still feeling sad and sorry that you are going thru this. I can understand not looking thru everything. I am planning to but I'll have to see how I feel in the moment. Right now I feel relief that it is starting but once it picks up and I pass clots and tissue I know it will hit me hard. Thanks for letting us know how you are doing. I will keep thinking of you and wishing you lots of healing and support thru this time


----------



## Naughty Dingo

I have been thinking of you Mamas









ND


----------



## ELKMama

Thinking of you all as well... I am imagining that the reality of the miscarriage means all your emotions and sadness are back in full force. I am hoping there is also some peace.

I just ordered the medications (after another talk with mw), but I am planning to take them next Wednesday or Thursday. So maybe I'll be like surf mama and my body will start things rolling now!

Ericaz, hope the waiting isn't driving you crazy...

Many







, Erin


----------



## surf mama

Well my bleeding is still slow so I guess my body is still taking its time getting ready. I called my mw today and she said it can take a week or so of light bleeding for some before the actual miscarriage happens. I asked her about the medication to induce it and she said she doesn't prescribe it. She suggests a referral to an OB on Monday if things haven't picked up since that will be 4wks of waiting. Then the OB will schedule a d&c for me. If I get to that point I will ask the OB for meds first before giving into the d&c. I am just hoping that my body will get ready and start the m/c soon. It is discouraging to have to wait again. Waiting to bleed and now waiting for it to pick up to m/c.


----------



## ELKMama

Sorry things are still "too slow," surf mama... Hang in there! Maybe the OB will be willing to go with the meds, since you feel strongly that the d&c isn't what you want. My mw said the meds are a relatively new strategy, at least here in the Midwest.









Hope the night is a restful, peaceful one and your body kicks into high gear tomorrow.


----------



## surf mama

This m/c finally started this morning at 1. I woke with a strong dull pain and knew it was going to happen. I felt awful for the first hour but after that it was okay. I am bleeding and passing things and just one larger plum sized so far. After the largest bit came out I felt relief and the pain went away. It was easier then I expected once I got past that first hour and my fear.


----------



## ELKMama

Thanks for the update, surf mama. I'm glad it has been easier physically than you'd thought. I'll be thinking about you in this healing time...


----------



## BethanyB

Surf mama- I am so glad things started for you







. The first day is the hardest, physically and emotionally, but then it gets easier. Let us know how you are doing later









Elk mama- I'm glad at least you have a plan now (w/ the meds) and hopefully you won't need them! Good luck









I am still passing "stuff", mainly pieces of placenta. Some of them have been pretty large (apricot sized) but my pain hasn't been bad at all. I am going to work today, so I hope my bleeding doesn't increase while I'm there, but I don't think it will.


----------



## surf mama

Well not much has happened since early Friday morning. Later that day thru Sat. morning I passed small to medium pieces but nothing else large. I'm worried that one large plum sized piece wasn't enough. The baby's heartbeat stopped at 9wks so I would guess there is more that should come out. I am going to call and check in with my midwife tomorrow morning to see what she says. I did look at the largest one to come out and I couldn't find a baby or sac as far as I could tell. I didn't inspect any of the others though.

Emotionally I keep going back and forth from sadness to relief that it is over.








How's everyone else doing?


----------



## BethanyB

surfmama- I'm sorry things are slowing down







! I have been bleeding off and on since Saturday. Hardly anything Saturday, and I thought it was over, and then in the night I passed more clots, so I don't know, maybe it's normal. I have had a bit of a low back ache the last few days that I hope is just muscle aches (no fever though). I have to make an appt for next week to make sure everything came out. Maybe since your body started on it's own, taking some cohosh would start things again.


----------



## ELKMama

Hi Brooke & Surf mama, Sorry to hear this isn't clearly and completely OVER for you but hope that things taper off, the aches go away (Brooke), and you both get reassurance that your bodies have done the work.

I started spotting on Saturday morning. I haven't even picked up the prescriptions yet and now I'm hoping I won't need them. Nothing dramatic yet, but steady light bleeding and some minor cramps yesterday afternoon and evening... More waiting but I feel like my body is recognizing the changes. It still surprises me that it has taken about 7 weeks after growth stopped, but at least things are starting now.

Sending hugs and wishes for peace and comfort... Erin


----------



## surf mama

I'm having a rough day today. My body is achy but not doing much and I am sad, angry and just tired of all this. I am ready to get back to my normal life and schedule. I talked to the nurse at my midwife's office yesterday and it sounds like my body could have more to pass or not. It feels like I will never have closure but when it finally comes I will be so grateful.

Brooke-my lower back has been bugging me lately too. Sometimes it is achy and sometimes just tender to the touch. The nurse at my midwife's office said lower back pain is normal during this time so that made me feel a little better.

Erin-how are you doing? I spotted for 4 days before the actual m/c started and my midwife said sometimes it can take a week of spotting. I hope everything gets going for you and at a good time. Feel free to post questions or concerns if you are still waiting.


----------



## ELKMama

Thinking of you, surf mama, and hoping that the aches go away and the sadness and anger pass in their own time too. Thanks for sharing that back pain is normal too. I can imagine myself getting QUITE stressed about that.

Heavy bleeding now, but nothing dramatic. I called the clinic and they said not to go forward with the meds at this point. Something amusing about me losing patience and deciding to "induce" and then, the next day, my body starting on its own.

Will keep you all in my thoughts... E


----------



## ericaz

surf mama,
I can totally relate. What you wrote is basically what happened to me last week. Rest assured that it will be over in the not too distant future. Hang in there.

I'll post my story in another post. It feels good to write it out. Cathartic


----------



## ELKMama

Ericaz, Thanks for sharing your story. I'm so sorry you had to go through this.

I *think* I made it through and was very lucky. There was almost no pain at all. (Of course, I know I may be wrong and there's more coming... U/S on Monday will be nice for checking in that all is done.) Yesterday, while I was at work (what a fool I am trying to stay to get through a meeting!), I passed a lot of clots / tissue / materials. Some pieces were about the size of a pack of cards and one piece felt like a 1/2 inflated balloon slipping out of me. It made for an awkward, hasty exit from a meeting - LOL - but there was very little pain.

My emotions are reeling, but there is relief along with sadness because of the long wait (1 month since 1st appointment where there were problems noted). I will check in to see if there are updates from you all over the next few days, but I wanted to say now that it was a real blessing to have women to share this with and to talk with during this awkward waiting time. I so appreciate your support and willingness to share.

Peace, E


----------



## surf mama

Erin-I'm glad your body finally m/c-ed and without much pain! I hope your body heals up well. And I hope you heal well too as you grieve. I am still so sorry!

I am off to my midwife's office for a blood draw to check my hormone levels. It will be nice to make sure everything is going well. I don't have an u/s scheduled but I'm guessing they will if things look like I need one.

Thinking of all of you and hoping you are getting thru this okay.


----------



## surf mama

I went to my midwives and the bloodwork came back great. It looks like it is over. It is so nice to finally have closure! My belly still feels achy but I wonder if it is just healing and getting back to normal.

How are all of you doing?


----------



## ELKMama

Surfmama, so you are officially done with "still waiting"! I'm happy for you and hope the belly aches end and you soon feel healed.

I was surprised yesterday evening by how much more I passed, but it still wasn't painful and the bleeding has definitely slowed. I feel I'm most likely done too.

Peace, E


----------



## BethanyB

Hey everyone!

It sounds like no one is still waiting! I am really glad to hear that, even though we will all still hurt emotionally







. I was suppose to get in to my doc next week, but I haven't made an appt. yet. I am sure it is all over. Periodically I still spot a little (of course it's when I'm not wearing a pad!







: ) but no more clots or anything. I had been feeling alot better emotionally, too, but we had a parvovirus scare the other day (concerning new puppy-he is fine) but it totally sent me into anxiety, which I hadn't had for a week or so. I HATE that feeling! So I'm toying with the idea of seeing a therapist-God knows I probably need it. I haven't filled my RX for anti-depressants, and probably won't now. My anxiety problem is worse that my depression. If anyone has any experience with anxiety, let me know how you dealt w/ it. Hope everyone is o.k!







-Brooke


----------



## ELKMama

I've taken a few days "break" from MDC but wanted to check in... I went for u/s on Monday and found out there was still quite a bit of tissue at the bottom of the uterus and cervix was still pretty open. So the mw did the "tugging" to pull out the rest. I was very emotional at that point, but the bleeding stopped by that evening and that helped me feel closer to "normal."

Hoping you are all doing well...


----------



## ericaz

ELKMama, that sounds awful! Did you know that there was still a little left in there?? How were you feeling?? I'm STILL (very lightly) spotting and my miscarriage started (I say started because it was two or three days of actively miscarrying) on February 15th. I had my hcg levels checked this last Monday and spoke with the midwife yesterday. She said I still had some hcg but not enough to be actually pg. She said I ought to have them checked again March 20. She didn't seem to be too concerned that I'm STILL spotting. Anyone know if this is relatively normal - to be spotting for such a long time afterwards? I totally don't feel pregnant anymore (in fact, I feel like I might be ovulating!!! What's up with that?!) and am SO sick of wearing pantyliners...they make me feel so itchy


----------



## surf mama

It sounds normal to me. My m/c started on the 17th and just this morning I decided not to wear a pantyliner. I still might spot a bit today but I hope not. A couple times when I was just home I put a small baby washcloth folded up in my undies instead of a pantyliner and I didn't mind the feel of cloth.

How high was your hcg? I would want it checked sooner then the 20th. I had mine tested last week and it was down to 90 which sounded like a good drop to my midwife. Then I go in next week on the 7th for a followup checkup and blood draw.

Hope some of that helps.

ELKMama-(((hugs))) That sounded really hard.


----------



## ericaz

She didn't tell me the actual number for the hcg. She just said that that it's lower than it would be if I were pg. She didn't seem concerned. I'm trying not to feel anxious so I didn't question her. Think I should call her back and see if I can test sooner than the 20th? I'm guessing her logic is that just like women have different experiences with actual miscarriages, different women drop their hcg levels at different rates than others. KWIM?

The cloth sounds a lot better. I think I might try that! I tried to use Luna pads with my periods and hate them...they bunch up. I haven't found a solution yet







:


----------



## newcastlemama

I lost my baby this week too. I am so sorry for those of you who had to wait so long (mine took a few hours)...... I think having a little uterus pain is normal because it is probably contracting back to a normal size. My OB gave me antibiotics just in case.

I am glad we are here sharing our stories and struggles.








I am so sorry for your great loss mamas









Jennifer


----------



## ELKMama

ericaz said:


> ELKMama, that sounds awful! Did you know that there was still a little left in there?? How were you feeling??
> 
> It wasn't actually that bad. I had started to think that I wasn't completely done because:
> 1) I had 2 days of feeling basically normal (a bit tired) and then the 2 days before the appointment I was crampy again,
> 2) There was a different sour smell (TMI - sorry!) at that point.
> 
> About the continued bleeding, I'm sorry because I know it is a pain. But I really don't think it is a bad sign on its own... And another post really showed that hcg levels drop differently for different people.
> 
> Newcastlemama, Sorry to "meet" you this way and for your loss.


----------



## strmis

hi
i just posted my own post on waiting and soon after came across this one. my condolences for all your losses. its been about a year and i hope that your emotional (and physical) recovery has been going well for each of you.

just wanted to say that reading these is very comforting for me. i'm going thru the same thing myself. this is my first pregnancy so i have no idea what to expect. thanks so much for sharing your experiences with everyone, you have no idea how helpful MDC has been for me this past day.

feel free to answer my questions on my thread as well. i am still a little paranoid, i guess hearing an answer directed at me is more comforting. (?? i hope)


----------



## surf mama

strmis-I'm so sorry! I'm glad you are finding support and answers here at MDC. I hung out on this loss forum for awhile before, during and after my m/c. There are so many great women here who understand and care!


----------



## kati_kati

i just wanted to say how much it has helped me to read all of the posts in this thread. i am 14 1/2 weeks with a blighted ovum and waiting for the miscarriage to happen. i found out about a week ago through ultrasound. the doctor has been really pushing a d&c because "it's so late" and my body has not miscarried on its own yet. i wasn't able to get any good reasons from her for not waiting for it to happen naturally, so i've been waiting and waiting. psychologically it has been awfully hard. thankfully every time i feel like i'm at the end of my rope and can't handle it any more, something happens to give me more hope. the first few days were just emotionally so hard to deal with the knowledge of the loss - we had been so excited and telling friends and family - i even told my boss at work the day before finding out. i had no idea that there could be anything wrong since i was this far along, but i was wrong.

4-5 days after finding out about the blighted ovum, i was already feeling desperate for something to happen because i had just hit 14 weeks - my doctor kept saying none of her patients ever wait that long, they just get the d&c, so she didn't know if it was safe to keep waiting. so finally i had some red spotting, and cramps started that day. it was such a relief to think that it was finally happening. but that was 4-5 days ago, and the cramps have been weak and intermittent and there has been barely any bleeding since then... yesterday morning i was in constant tears, frustrated and confused and depressed that my body couldn't handle this. i called the dr's office to find out if it was normal to have 4 days of cramps with not much more. i got no answers (just "i don't know, everyone is different"). i got more pressure to do the d&c and it honestly felt like it was the only way out - the stress and anxiety of waiting and being home from work and nothing happening was awful. so it's scheduled for monday morning even though i'm terrified of having it done because it just feels wrong and too interventional. i went out and bought black cohosh tincture from whole foods at the recommendation of a holistic MD thinking it was better to try to induce than have the d&c, but haven't used it yet.

then yesterday afternoon i stumbled across this discussion forum - and it changed my mood completely! i read all your stories about how you waited and let your bodies handle it naturally, and that it was normal to have several days of cramping and barely any bleeding at first. your stories changed my mood around 180 degrees and now i really feel hopeful that something will happen this weekend. i just want to thank you all for posting your stories. waiting has been so difficult and it helps so much to hear that i'm not alone and that others have gone through this. i've never posted to a forum before - but reading all this has meant a lot to me, enough to motivate me to post myself!


----------



## pjabslenz

Kati Kati,








I am so glad you found this board too. The support here is amazing. I had more support here are MDC than I did IRL even. The waiting is hard. I am so sorry for your loss. Be gentle with yourself. Drink plenty of fluids and rest.

Keep us posted,


----------



## ELKMama

Kati Kati, I'm so sorry for your loss and for the extra stress of waiting and wondering if/when it will happen on its own.









I am glad you found our discussion from almost a year ago -- wow -- helpful. And I'm impressed you were able to find it!







I seem to have trouble finding threads when I search. It was a blessing to have this group of women to talk with as I waited and I am glad you were reassured.

Good luck with all your decisions and with your grief. I hope it all is as smooth and peaceful as possible.


----------



## gretasmommy

KatiKati -
I am so sorry you are going through this! Try and be patient with yourself and with your body. THis may take much longer (you have read the "what to expect" sticky, right?) than you think. I had more than 3 weeks of bleeding and mild, intermittent cramping . . . .finally had a D&C because I just was so ready to move on and needed closure.
There's no one right answer to how to do this - do what feels right for you, and don't allow your doc (who admittedly doesn't know a lot about natural m/c after the first trimester??!!! - you should refer her/him to this board!) to pressure you into a surgical end to this pregnancy.

Wishing you peace and a speedy recovery.


----------



## ELKMama

Hi again - Just wanted to agree with Andrea's point that whatever you decide to do will be fine. You have to go with what feels right...

About the "what to expect" sticky: There is great info there, but also you should know that it *might* be less physically painful and hard than you expect. I know that reading that thread made me realize that it is different for everyone, but for some it is really awfully hard. And for some (like me), the actual miscarriage is really amazingly easy, with very little pain at all. And then it was so easy that I don't think I posted to the thread! Because it seemed like it might sound like I was boasting or something. Anyway... Just wanted to mention that as part of keeping your anxiety down.


----------



## kati_kati

Thank you all for your replies! It's so nice to know you are out there reading this. It was just luck that I found this thread - I didn't even know what MDC was - it came up in one of my many google searches when I was trying to find out what to do about waiting so long for a miscarriage and if there were any natural ways to do anything to speed things up (which I am also scared to try). I must say that none of the scientific or general medical articles say enough about what to expect (and nothing about the waiting and waiting!) so these threads (including the what to expect sticky) have been great.

I am annoyed that my doctor doesn't know anything about natural miscarriage - I will try to see a different doctor when I go for a followup. The hardest part is being patient!!! My cramps seem to build up each day in the afternoon and evening - yesterday I actually had bleeding that would be more like my period so I got hopeful, but then it totally stopped again and nothing happened over night at all.

My husband is trying to get me to go out and do other things to keep my mind off this. I'm worried that it will happen at work this week - I have a lot of important meetings and I can't just keep staying home like I did last week because it makes me even more sad and impatient - I'll just hope it won't be super embarrassing or awful.

Thanks for all your thoughts and good wishes - I really appreciate it.
-Kati


----------



## Mindi22

Kati,
I had your same situation over the summer, and found out about a blighted ovum at 14 weeks. I opted for the D&C, and while I still have some mixed feelings, I think it was the best decision for me at the time. I'm now supposed to be 8 (almost 9) weeks along, and just discovered last week via ultrasound that things stopped happening as far as development around week 5... so I'm waiting for a miscarriage. It sucks, waiting and not knowing.

I wish you healing, whatever route you end up taking. The D&C wasn't bad for me, although I've heard some horror stories. *hugs*

-Mindi


----------



## ELKMama

So sorry, Mindi, that you are facing this again.


----------



## zilchie

Kati and Mindi--I'm so sorry for your situations, but as weird as it sounds, i'm glad to have other people to share this time with. I'm now waiting for my m/c too--the third within a year.

My first I found out at almost 11 weeks that the baby had stopped growing sometime in the 9th week. I saw the perfect bean shape on the u/s and it broke my heart--I waited until the next day, then scheduled the d&c for the following day. I just couldn't bear to wait, it was all just too much. The d&c ended up being kind of a nightmare--it was in a hospital, but i found out that I could opt for just a local anesthetic which relieved me, because I really didn't want the regular anesthesia, however mild it was going to be. Everything would have been fine except that somehow the local found its way into my bloodstream and made my heartrate and blood pressure soar--I was so scared, I was literally convinced I was going to die, it was like an episode of ER. Luckily the anesthesiologist was standing by and was able to give me some meds to get it under control, and everything went fine from there.

The second time, I found out that I had a blighted ovum at 7 weeks. This time I opted to wait for the m/c--somehow having no real embryo made it much easier to tolerate the idea of waiting. I waited 3 weeks until it happened. It started with 2 or 3 days of very light spotting, then two consecutive mornings of very heavy bleeding, then about a week of normal period heavy bleeding. It was so, so much better than the d&c--hardly any pain, just like a very heavy period. But of course it took a lot longer overall, which sucks. I was scared of course of things not all passing, but I was lucky.

This time, I was under the care of an RE. I had an u/s at what should have been 7 weeks. Everything that was supposed to be there was there--gestational sac, yolk sac, a large corpus luteum sac, and what he saw as the placenta and embryo. He was very encouraging and said that I must just be off on my dates, but I knew right then that I wasn't and that it wasn't good. I went in the next week and the embryo had grown, but only a couple of days worth, and no heartbeat. Last Tuesday it was confirmed. I am committed to waiting again--I really don't want to do the drugs, although the experiences I've read here with the drugs are encouraging--and I really don't want another d&c.

I guess my point is that you have to do what makes you feel most comfortable, and that could change throughout the process, and of course from situation to situation. My RE didn't want me to wait more than 10 days before trying the meds (he was really kinda pushing them), but after I told him it took 3 weeks for the last one, he said we could wait 3 weeks. So remember to honor your inner feelings, it is important. M/c's are a horrible thing, but they are part of our lives and unfortunately we need to go through stuff like this sometimes, it's what makes us human.

Sorry this got so long--thanks for sharing your stories, and I'll help any way I can.


----------



## kati_kati

Mindi and Zilchie,

I'm so sorry you are going through this too. Thank you for sharing though. My thoughts are with you. I hope we can all find the patience to make it through this and find peace. It's so hard just waiting... I did cancel the d&c this morning and the "excuse" I gave to the nurse was that "it started happening on its own" but I'm not sure it is! Not much cramping at all today (barely any bleeding) even though last night the cramps were pretty strong. I just don't get what my body is doing. This sure is a lesson in patience (I'm often impatient - maybe there's a reason for this).

Best wishes and hugs to you,
Kati


----------



## zilchie

The waiting is definitely the hardest part. My hardest waiting was during the limbo time between u/s's when there was still that glimmer of hope that things might still work out. Strangely I feel better now that I know what is actually going on than when I still was hoping.
I hope things go well for all of us. Be strong.


----------



## zilchie

Kati and Mindi--any updates? I'm still just waiting.


----------



## noah's mom

Hi ladies,

Guess it's my turn to join in this thread - I found out on Jan 19 through an emergency u/s (after a week of light spotting) that my baby stopped developing at around 7 wks (the sac and embryo were in there, but no heartbeat and baby was measuring 7 wks instead of 9).

I've been continuing to spot ever since (another 10 days!) with no cramping at all - it only just started picking up last night into enough bleeding to make it to a pad. It's bright red and like a medium-flow period, with mild cramping (sorry if TMI). So I feel that at least it's starting to progress a little, but it's still so frustrating and a little scary to wait so long - esp. since I've never read about anyone _spotting_ for so long before the actual m/c happens. But I still want to hold out for a natural m/c if at all possible.








s to you all and here's hoping that our m/c's progress quickly so we can get the closure we need.


----------



## kati_kati

I'm still waiting too. I can't believe it's been this long. I've had 2 weeks of spotting now. The first week had some pretty decent cramps building up in the evenings, but it has totally tapered off in the last week. I read in a post somewhere that someone else had 2 weeks of spotting before a natural miscarriage. I also talked to a friend who had a situation very similar to mine a couple of years ago - she said the whole thing wasn't over until almost 4 months along... so she convinced me to plan to wait another 2 weeks and not to dwell on it in the meantime. I did talk to another ob/gyn who confirmed that waiting this long is totally fine as long as you have no signs of infection.
Best wishes to you all,
Kati


----------



## Mindi22

Hi ladies!

I'm still waiting... I've had a few episodes of very light pink spotting, but nothing seems to really be happening. I'm getting another US this morning, so I'll hopefully be able to give some news after that. I'm still getting sick, and still feeling pretty pregnant, damn-it!

I'm trying to really not focus on the whole situation because I'll get nothing done if I do, but it's hard when it keeps comeing up in conversation or in how I'm feeling... I was actually excited about spotting last night, hoping that it meant that this was going to start being over, kwim?

I'll keep you all posted after the ultrasound!

-Mindi


----------



## Mindi22

Well, we had another US this morning, and my gestational sac is now at 10 weeks size. It measured 6-8 weeks about 2 weeks ago. So, it's growing. No baby growing inside, however. I'm now scheduled for a D&C on Friday, since I just can't deal with the waiting anymore when I'm still feeling pregnant. I'm tired of having morning sickness and everything when there is nothing to look forward to!

I'm hoping things start naturally on their own before then, but I kind of doubt it. I didn't find out about a blighted ovum last time until almost 14 weeks, so apparently my body likes to be a pack rat!

-Mindi


----------



## kati_kati

Mindi - too bad things are not progressing as you wanted. if i had found out earlier, i bet the ultrasound would have shown the same kind of thing - the sac still growing with nothing in it which would have been very very frustrating. i'd like to think there's a reason our bodies hold on to things so long, but of course i don't know. i'm sure you will make the right decision for you! best wishes! -Kati


----------



## zilchie

Mindi--I'm sorry for your situation. How have things gone in the last week?

Noah's Mom--sorry to hear about your loss. I spotted for only 3 days before my last m/c, but I don't think anything is "normal" about a m/c, it just happens the way it happens, you know?

Kati--I'm sorry you're still waiting, but glad to hear that you spoke with an OB who said it was ok to wait. My RE was pretty hot for me to induce with drugs if nothing happened in 7 to 10 days! I said it took 3 weeks for my last one, so I wanted to wait at least that long.

Well, I've been having mild cramps since Wed., just for a few minutes at a time. Just today I started spotting. So it looks like things are happening, I just hope it's over soon and everything happens the way it needs to.


----------



## yams2

Elkmama, Sorry to hear what's happening. I found out at 7w4d that I would mc, and it took until 11w1d to do so. I mc'd natually the entire sac and embryo all at once with little bleeding, and now 3w2d later still waiting for a period. Without it I feel as if it is not finished yet, and I can't start IVF again until I have another cycle. I am finding through talking with other women that it is common to mc at 11 or 12 weeks regardless of where in the gestation it ended. I also started spotting about a week prior, which most women agree this happens too. Hope that helps you.


----------



## noah's mom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *yams2* 
I am finding through talking with other women that it is common to mc at 11 or 12 weeks regardless of where in the gestation it ended.

This is an interesting observation - reassuring to me too. I'm at about 11 1/2 weeks now so maybe it will happen soon? Baby stopped developing at 7 wks. I've started getting worried b/c I've been bleeding (first spotting, and now for about a week it's been like a light period) for about 3 1/2 wks straight. But I have new theory, too - I had a pelvic exam, w/a pap, at 8 wks, and although I don't believe the pap _caused_ the m/c (since babe was measuring only 7 wks a wk later), maybe it stirred things up enough to start the spotting before it would have started on its own? I don't know, just a thought...


----------



## kati_kati

Hi everyone - hope you all are well.

Noah's mom - I've been spotting/bleeding for 3.5 weeks now too. I'm now at 17 weeks! Ugh. It was much heavier two days ago but not much since. Things are going very slowly...

Yams2 - sorry you're going through this too but hope you find some closure soon.

Zilchie and Mindi - hope you are doing ok too!!

Hang in there everyone!
-Kati


----------



## heatherh

I guess I'll join in. Reading your posts has been helpful, so I'd like to contribute my story so far.

I'm currently around 13 weeks. Recently confirmed via u/s that there is no heartbeat.

I've had a decent amount of bleeding (varied from brown spotting to bright red light period-type bleeding) until *this week*. Now there is hardly anything at all and still not really any cramping. No signs on the u/s that I've started to miscarry, so no idea what the blood was about.

So far, we've tried two rounds of black and blue cohosh. If anything, that seemed to slow down the little bit of cramping I did have.


----------



## zilchie

Update on me--Thursday morning around 10:30 my heavy bleeding started--it was intense for about 3 hours. Sorry if this is going to be TMI, so bail out now if you don't want to know.

I must have gone through a dozen pads, probably 6 of them soaked completely. I had a bunch of huge gushes that were even too much for the pad, it blew out completely. Not fun at all. Luckily the advil I took controlled the cramps pretty well, it wasn't too painful, just scary and gross. It was so different from my previous m/c, which was sort of civilized really--two mornings of very heavy bleeding, more like a period, no blow-outs. This one was all-out crazy. I called the midwives about an hour into it when I had had 3 heavily soaked pads and she was reassuring, she said that when it's that heavy it's not going to last much longer, and I could go to the hospital any time but really all they do is watch you and probably do a d&c, which I really didn't want. Well it did go on for another hour and a half or so, but then it slowed to pretty light bleeding. The cramps continued pretty bad though the rest of the day, and all day Friday. I had only light bleeding, but a 'heavy' feeling and I sort of thought that it wasn't over. Turns out it wasn't--Saturday morning I cramped some more, had some more heavy bleeding, and passed what I believe was the embryo. That was weird--they told me that I could try to save it for them to analyze, and they gave me a little bottle filled with saline, so I've had that thing sitting there waiting, a strange, sort of creepy reminder of what was going on. I was disappointed on Thursday that I couldn't find it, I thought that I missed it or it broke down too much. When I saw it on Friday, it was a pretty surreal experience. Now it's sitting in the fridge, waiting for Monday to come when I can hand it off to the lab. Weird weird weird.

This morning, I have minor cramps and I had one somewhat heavy bleed but now it's just period-type bleeding. My basal body temp hasn't gone down yet though, and I'm still having some cramping, so I'm worried just a bit. I hope it's over.

Thanks for listening. I hope everyone has an easy time and recovers quickly.


----------



## Nathan1097

How far along were you?


----------



## kati_kati

zilchie - i do hope it's over for you too! thanks for sharing everything. i'm glad you didn't have too much pain and that it happened naturally like you wanted. hang in there a bit longer to make sure everything's ok - hope the midwives can follow up afterwards to tell you if everything's clear.

heather - sorry to hear about your loss too. i had the same thing where the bleeding comes and goes. who knows why. good luck with everything.

i'm still waiting here....
-kati


----------



## heatherh

Just short of 15 weeks - I had a few days of brown spotting with a little bit of bright red blood here and there. I passed what certainly appeared to be some sort of sac but not much blood and no pain. I was not expecting that at all. There has been only a little bit of brown spotting since (less than I've had for many weeks)... so it seems this may be over?


----------



## levar

Thank you ladies for this thread. It HELPS!! I went in for an ultrasound at 10 weeks and found out that by coincedence the baby's heartbeat stopped a few days before. That was a week and a half ago, I am still waiting. Top it off our whole house has the flu, including myself. So I've been fighting flu, cold, and fever for the last few days. UHG! Anyway, no spotting, no symptoms, no nothing. But thanks to reading this tread now I know more of what to expect.


----------



## ELKMama

to everyone!

Heather - I hope this is all for you... Do you have an ultrasound scheduled? As you might remember from my experience (ONE YEAR AGO TODAY... WOW, JUST REALIZED THAT!), I didn't have any pain either and passed a visible sac at about 14 weeks. But I would say it was more than "not much" blood. You might think about a follow-up check up in the next few days.








again!


----------



## heatherh

ELKMama - I don't have an ultrasound scheduled at this point. Remember, I've had spotting/bleeding for weeeeeeeeks now. And I've had just a teeny bit of spotting (less than I've had for awhile) the last few days. I'm going to start temping soon, so if I don't start ovulating within a week or two of "normal" I'll probably follow up. That's the plan for now, at least.

I'm kind of curious if there is a correlation between the amount of bleeding in a m/c and a normal period...

levar - I'm so sorry to hear you're in the same boat. Be cautious - one of the first things my midwife said is to watch out for signs of infection. It might be hard to tell since you're so sick.


----------



## Cardinal

Well, can I join? I am not exactly WAITING for a m/c. I had a D & C yesterday, actually. I am waiting for a biopsy of the tissue. We found out MOnday it was a molar pregnancy. So now I didn't just lose a baby. I am now finding out it could develop into cancer anytime. I have to get blood tests for the next year... on weekly then monthly basis. I am devastated, to say the least. I am only 27 so I am a real rare statistic. I just pray that this biopsy I am waiting for comes back negative. So in a sense I am waiting for something because of the loss...

I didn't know where else to go for support.








This sucks.
Any stories to share on molar pregnancies?


----------



## heatherh

Cardinal, I'm so sorry.









I can't offer much help. I have a friend who went through this when she was about 30 and it all worked out fine for her - she has had two boys since then.

I did a quick google search and found these other threads. Maybe they'll be useful...
http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?p=5226698
http://www.mothering.com/discussions.../t-437137.html


----------



## Cardinal

Thank you heather for those links. I am surprised there are not more mamas on MDC who have experienced this. It is rare, but considering the # of mamas here, I figured there would be more stories. It is frightening to say the least. I am recovering right now from the D&C. Ugh. I hope to get biopsy results early next week to let me know more about what's going on. I guess it just wasn't my time to have a baby. Maybe next year?


----------



## kati_kati

I'm still here... not doing so great. I just posted in the other thread I started about my blighted ovum situation: (http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=619397).

Heather - I hope you've passed everything and that your temps go back to normal soon.

Levar - I'm sorry for your loss. Try to be patient but do be careful and get care from the doctors as you need it.

Cardinal - I can only imagine how much harder this must be with the news you've had. I'm so sorry. I hope that the biopsy results are good and that things resolve quickly. At the ultrasound I had today the dr said I might have some form of molar pregnancy too, but he wasn't sure, just that it looked bad so he wants me to do a d&c. Molar pregnancies are one type of gestational trophoblast disease. The good thing is that all forms seem curable even though it takes time. (http://www.cancer.org/docroot/cri/co...p?sitearea=cri)

This is so hard. Hope everyone is hanging in there.


----------



## kati_kati

Cross-posting here just for some 'closure' on this 'still waiting' thread. More details here.

Short story is that I had the d&c and the pathology tests on the tissue said it was a blighted ovum. I'm so glad this is over. Thank you for everyone's support. Best wishes to anyone out there who is still waiting... Hang in there!!

-Kati


----------



## WaturMama

I just want to report in that I reached the end of my wait. Not in the way I hoped (with a d&c--I would have preferred to miscarry at home, but I want to acknowledge that is just me), but I am proud of myself for making many tough decisions over the last week in a way I think was the best I could given the circumstances. The details are here: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=629109


----------



## heatherh

Levar and Cardinal, hope you guys are doing OK.

I'm not sure who all is still left around here, but I thought I'd offer my update...

I thought the m/c was over. A while after I passed the sac, I had one day with a pretty large gush of blood with no tissue that went away as quickly as it appeared. I figured that must be the end and I'd give myself the normal amount of time to ovulate plus an extra week then reassess.

Well, I was right about that far and was just starting to wonder if I was *ever* going to ovulate. Lots of creamy CF and it was looking pretty promising.

Then today I passed what I suspect was a placenta. That was quite a surprise. It was another case of a big gush of blood, then it stopped right away.

So now I'm waiting again. Going to try to continue to be patient. Emotionally I don't really feel any worse off than before. Frustrated that this is dragging out.


----------



## kati_kati

just letting you know I'm thinking of you lots today! it really must be over now. your body has succeeded in handling this on its own time, which is wonderful. so sorry it has gone on for so long. maybe it would help to get an hcg test to know for sure that you're all clear.


----------



## noah's mom

Cardinal - one of my good friends had a partial molar pg when she was around 30. It was her 1st pg after trying for 10 mos. Since then she's had 3 beautiful boys (most recently in October of last year)! It was absolutely heartbreaking for her at the time, with the feelings of "will I ever have a baby", etc. Plus she had to have 2 D&C's b/c the first one didn't get everything, and then the same thing you described (which I believe is common practice for molar pg) - blood tests every week, waiting to TTC again for I think a year... but from what she told me molar pregnancies are extremely rare, sort of an anomaly and not likely to repeat themselves.

To update my personal situation - my m/c completed with the help of Cytotec toward the end of February (I posted a separate thread with details at the time...). Cytotec actually worked really well for me, minimal pain and I passed the sac 9 hours after taking it (after a pretty good night's sleep). I counted my cycle based on when I passed the baby, and next AF came pretty much on schedule, just a day or two late I think. Only difference was that it was EXTREMELY heavy. All the clots I thought I was going to pass during the m/c seemed to come out in that AF, I guess my body was still clearing stuff out.

We started TTC right after that, and my happy news it that I found out on Saturday that I am pg again! (I tested the day after AF was due (ETA: I also tested the week prior to make sure I wouldn't get a false positive with "leftover" hcg from the m/c - and got a big bfn)) I'm thrilled yet terrified of another loss at the same time. But I wanted to encourage you all with the news, a little ray of hope amidst all the pain we have suffered.


----------



## kati_kati

noah's mom - that is wonderful news!! i'll be hoping everything goes smoothly and that you find a way to lessen your anxiety. thanks for sharing! -kati


----------



## WeasleyMum

Well, I just discovered this thread and it is very useful to me... I guess add me to the list of women waiting for the MC to start. Had a vaginal ultrasound Tuesday, showed a sac that stopped growing 3 weeks ago (I'm at 9 weeks). I wish there weren't so many of us in this boat...

**************************************
Update: Miscarried this evening (Monday April 16), so one week between finding out and the MC.


----------



## kaspar

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mindi22* 
I'm now scheduled for a D&C on Friday, since I just can't deal with the waiting anymore when I'm still feeling pregnant. I'm tired of having morning sickness and everything when there is nothing to look forward to!

this was me a year and a half ago... i got the d&c, and i'm glad i did. i felt like i was once again taking part in things, making decisions for myself. i had no cramping, no bleeding (just a bit of spotting), and no painful waiting.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WeasleyMum* 
I wish there weren't so many of us in this boat...

me too.


----------



## Cardinal

Quote:


Originally Posted by *noah's mom* 
Cardinal - one of my good friends had a partial molar pg when she was around 30. It was her 1st pg after trying for 10 mos. Since then she's had 3 beautiful boys (most recently in October of last year)! It was absolutely heartbreaking for her at the time, with the feelings of "will I ever have a baby", etc. Plus she had to have 2 D&C's b/c the first one didn't get everything, and then the same thing you described (which I believe is common practice for molar pg) - blood tests every week, waiting to TTC again for I think a year... but from what she told me molar pregnancies are extremely rare, sort of an anomaly and not likely to repeat themselves.

To update my personal situation - my m/c completed with the help of Cytotec toward the end of February (I posted a separate thread with details at the time...). Cytotec actually worked really well for me, minimal pain and I passed the sac 9 hours after taking it (after a pretty good night's sleep). I counted my cycle based on when I passed the baby, and next AF came pretty much on schedule, just a day or two late I think. Only difference was that it was EXTREMELY heavy. All the clots I thought I was going to pass during the m/c seemed to come out in that AF, I guess my body was still clearing stuff out.

We started TTC right after that, and my happy news it that I found out on Saturday that I am pg again! (I tested the day after AF was due (ETA: I also tested the week prior to make sure I wouldn't get a false positive with "leftover" hcg from the m/c - and got a big bfn)) I'm thrilled yet terrified of another loss at the same time. But I wanted to encourage you all with the news, a little ray of hope amidst all the pain we have suffered.

Congrats to you on your pregnancy and I hope it goes well for you! Keep us posted.







Thanks for the kind words of encouragement.


----------



## heatherh

bump

Looks like there might be a few mamas who can use this thread...


----------



## TCMoulton

I was in a similar situation. I had a week wait between finding out that I had lost my baby and experiencing my M/C. That week seemed endless but I was so relieved when everything was through.

Hugs mama - I know what a hard time this is to go through.

Colleen


----------



## heatherh

Bumping again. Especially for the mamas waiting to m/c naturally. A lot of us have been there.


----------



## jascot

Anyone else waiting out there?

I should be 14.5 weeks. The 12 week scan showed the baby died at 8.5 - 9 weeks. So it's been nearly 6 weeks since the baby died.

Three days before the 12 week scan I started to have some brown spotting. Very light but definitely present.

I have bled every single day since then (nearly 3 weeks). It got heavier until about a week ago when it started to reduce. I still need to use a pad. Even at its heaviest it was only like a light period - never had to use more than one pad in the day and one at night.

At its heaviest there were clots but only small ones. Most of it is brown with some red.

I've had no cramping or pains.

I have become sick of waiting. 6 weeks and it is still in there! Why?! So I saw my GP today.

Before I went in, I had it all sorted in my head. I had decided to wait another week, maybe two, but when that time was up I wanted everything lined up for whatever intervention we opted for so there'd be no more waiting.

The GP was v nice & helpful. To my surprise she thought the m/c had probably happened already! I really really wasn't expecting that.

I told her I was sure the m/c hadn't actually happened yet because the bleeding had been so light (especially compared to what I read on the what to expect sticky).

She said that sometimes much of it is reabsorbed by the body. She also said that nearly 3 weeks of light bleeding could add up to a lot of blood.

She arranged for me to have another scan tomorrow at the local early pregnancy unit.

Has this happened to anyone else? Did you go on to have a big *proper* m/c? Or did it just fade away like mine?


----------



## ELKMama

Jascot,








So sorry you are going through this...

It is great that you saw your GP and that there is a plan to check things out further. I had pretty heavy bleeding (but not painful, thankfully) when my m/c finally started 4 weeks after finding out the fetus had stopped developing. Even so, the u/s a week later showed some tissue left over that the m/w had to pull out (not too painful, thankfully). That just happened in the m/w office, in stirrups with no meds or anything.

So your u/s should provide important info - either the GP is right and it is done, or you may need to go ahead with something else.








again


----------



## chel

I took misoprostol and bleed very little between my first and second u/s. I had an 8w blighted ovum the first time and just a large clot in me for the second u/s. I was so sure I hadn't passed anything. I had some minor clots and very little blood (all I needed during the day was a pantyliner). Mostly I just wiped away some clots when I went to the bathroom. So yes it is possible.

That being said after about a week of this light bleeding, it's starting to come on heavier than before (1-2 ultrathin pads during the day, I never bleed at night, just a gush when I stand up - major run to the bathroom). I hope it stops soon!


----------



## mommyfied

jascot, how did your scan go?

I am waiting too... Almost 17 weeks "pregnant" now. My situation was a little different than yours because my baby was gone and reaborbed by the time I had a scan at 13 weeks. I think I lost my baby before 6 weeks because I had some light spotting then. I didn't worry because it was really light and I continued having pregnancy symptoms. That's because my sac continued to grow. My 13w scan showed it was measuring 10w and was "starting to break down". I started spotting very lightly right after that. It was really no much more than just brown discharge. I spotted for 2 weeks and had some very mild cramping and twinges along the way. Then the spotting stopped. I had my hcg levels checked at they were at 448. That was more than a week ago, so I'll be getting my hcg checked again this week (unless I can get a negative with a HPT before then). I think my sac may just be reabsorbing. Over the weeks I've been researching this and found that it is common for the sac to reabsorb. Most people go ahead and get the D&C, not realizing that it could happen this way. It does take a long time, however. Most are usually 20 weeks or more past their LMP by then. I've found it's given me time to process what's happened and given me a needed break from AF and TTC. My body will get ready to TTC again on its own time, and by that time I will also be emotionally ready too.


----------



## Mamato2

I am so glad this thread is here. I found out Friday that my 9 wk pregnancy isn't viable (second in a row) and that there is just a gestational sac measuring about 5 wks (same as last time). However last mc I started spotting at 8 wks, lost symptoms two days later, confirmed mc on Friday and had mc at home on Monday. It was a pretty rough physical experience and I am feeling pretty scared of this one.

So far I have had no signs of spotting or anything so it could be awhile. I hope it will be within the next couple of weeks, around that 11 wk mark again. I had no idea until reading these threads that it can go undetected for so long.







: Anyways hugs to all the other mamas out there going through this and I am so glad I have a place to be during this really difficult waiting time.


----------



## Megan73

I am so, so sorry to mamas who are still waiting. It just sucks and it made me realize how "lucky" I was with my first loss to learn that my baby had died at term when I was 10 cm dilated. Walking around knowing the baby has died is unbearable.
I miscarried yesterday, four days after learning that the embryo was measuring 9w1d with no heartbeat at 9w4d.
Please ignore this if it is, as my favourite blogger says, ass-vice: Nothing was happening except some brown spotting until my mom dragged me to our regular Pilates class early Sunday morning. She reasoned that pelvic-floor exercises might get things going. An hour after I got home, I started early labour-type contractions and passed everything within the afternoon. It might have been just coincidence, but it's worth a try.


----------



## heatherh




----------



## heatherh

I've seen a few posts around here lately that have asked questions that were discussed in this thread. Hopefully it will be helpful...


----------



## RainbowEarthFaerie

wow...thanks.


----------



## heatherh

I thought this thread might be helpful to some new folks. Wishing you speedy healing.


----------



## Prism

thanks for bumping it heatherh,

I just finished with my missed m/c; could've used it more 2 weeks ago but helps as I continue to "search for clues".


----------

