# Should a boy be a bridesmaid?



## SharonO

I am single mom with a 10 year old son. He's a great kid and I'm very proud of him. My younger sister and my son are great buddies. She has been sort of surrogate dad for him since he was a baby. She takes him to ball games, goes fishing with him and attends all his Little League and soccer games. My sis is getting married during the Christmas holidays. She wants my son to a part of the wedding and so does he. I suggested that he be a junior groomsman (he's too old to be a ringbearer). My sis wants him to be in her wedding party, not the groom's. I can sort of understand that since they are so close and he doesn't know her future husband that well. I'm to be the Matron of Honor and While a little out of the ordinary, it isn't written in stone anywhere that all the bride's attendants have to be female. I supposed that she had in mind for him to wear a shirt & pants in the same colors or even fabric as the bridesmaid's dresses. We were discussing it today and she dropped the bomb on me that she wanted my son to be a junior bridesmaid complete with dress to match the rest of us. I was flabbergasted and told her it was the craziest idea that I had ever heard.

She said that she had come upon the idea from a bridal website that she had visited. In it there was a discussion about boys being bridesmaids and flowergirls. She took me to her computer and showed it to me. To my amazement, this actually happens. I asked her if she had mentioned it to my son and she said that she hadn't because she wanted to talk to me about it first.

I could hardly believe that she was really serious. Now I must admit, I think my son would make a really beautiful bridesmaid. He has very fine features and with his longish hair is often mistaken for a girl. She also reminded me of the times she had fixed him up as a girl for Halloween trick or treating and for a costume party. We both agreed that he was darling in his girlish costumes and he seemed to enjoy it all at the time.

I'm torn between just telling her to forget it and letting her ask my son if he would do this. Since he absolutely adores his auntie, I'm afraid that he might agree. Then what would I do? I know how much he wants to be a part of her wedding.

I'm going to have to make a decision pretty soon, so I would appreciate any feedback I might get any of the moms reading this. I have read a number of threads here about boys being dressed as girls and feel that there are many out there who could give me some valuable insights from their experiences.

Thanks


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## MujerMamaMismo

Ask him - but also make sure he is aware that *some* people may take issue or cast aspersions on a boy wearing a dress. If he's prepared to weather a few bigotted comments -then I absolutely think he should be allowed to do it.

Is your sister willing to compromise if he refuses to wear a dress?


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## pookel

I know someone who had a "bridesman" - a male friend as a member of the bride's party, but in matching shirt and pants, not in a dress. That seems OK to me, but making him wear a dress is a little weird. I wouldn't say there was anything wrong with it if he preferred to cross-dress normally, but this is different. Maybe you could ask him his opinion first. If she asks him directly, he might not be willing to tell her no.


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## Kelleybug

2 out of the 3 attendants on my side of the bridal party were male, and I wouldn't have had it any other way. It is her wedding, and it is important for her to do what she would like (without being bridezilla) and not worry about "social norms". In fact, the 2 male friends are 2 of my close friends (I met them way prior to DH).

Edited to add: they wore tuxes!


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## simmergirl

As others said before I agree that the key here is to ask him. Maybe you should ask if he would like to be in the wedding first, and then agree on the outfit later?

Maybe you should prepare yourself for what other may ask you. Even narrow-minded people are usually nice to the kids - but not always to other adults... maybe some will think that you have forced him or that you are using him as a "doll"?

I hope you will find this out -and if he agrees I hope you all will have a nice wedding.


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## The4OfUs

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pookel*
I know someone who had a "bridesman" - a male friend as a member of the bride's party, but in matching shirt and pants, not in a dress. That seems OK to me, but making him wear a dress is a little weird. *I wouldn't say there was anything wrong with it if he preferred to cross-dress normally, but this is different.* *Maybe you could ask him his opinion first. If she asks him directly, he might not be willing to tell her no.*









:

Bolding emphasis mine.

I think it would be great for him to stand up on her side, but unless he's already into wearing dresses, I'd highly suggest just getting him a matching color shirt and pants, or go with a tux with a matching color vest/tie.


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## Houdini

I agree with the PP's. Ask him if he wants to be a part of her wedding party. I would have him wear matching shirt/pants or tux.


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## Ann-Marita

I think that your son being in the wedding is great. Being on the bride's party is wonderful.

Having someone else (the bride) ask him to wear a dress (if he doesn't usually cross dress) is just plain weird.

Does your son crossdress under other circumstances? Publically? If not, no, I would NOT ask that he wear a dress!


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## Ann-Marita

After thinking it over, I just wanted to come back here and post a bit more.

You mentioned that your son has dressed up like a girl before, in costume (not for everyday wear).

I think your sister, in asking a young male (who does NOT normally crossdress) to wear a dress.....That's kinda the definition of bridezilla!

(If the idea came from your son, that would be different. But it didn't.)


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## momfirst

If for some reason I feel the need to get married again I will definatly have my brother be my *maid of honor*, it would be very important to me that he be standing up for me...but I never considered for him to wear a dress!

When one of my brothers got married, his wifes sister was in the wedding (on the groom's side) and wore a tux jacket and a long skirt (and this was 30+ years ago).

I think it would be great for your son to be in the wedding, if he chooses to do so. I think that asking him to wear a dress if that is not something he would normally do is a bit much. I also worry that he may feel pressured into doing so because of his close bond with your sister.


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## CYL

Even so, it's kind of an interesting question.

Couldn't he just be a ring bearer, or a page boy though?


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## Ellien C

Sure - attendants these days for either side can be either male or female. Men still wear suits or tuxes and ladies still wear dress or pants as appropriate (according to Miss Manners!) It's quite the trend since many people are marrying later and have developed strong bonds with member of the opposite sex. Bridesemaids and groomsmen are holdovers from a time when people married younger and had less opportunity to associate with the opposite sex.

It isn't written in stone that everyone who stands next to the bride wears the same dress and everyone who stands next to the groom wears the same black tux. You just have mixed people on either side wearing what is appropriate for their sex.

While i have no problems with cross-dressing, what purpose will be served by having a 10 year boy dress up as a girl? It seems he'd be quite the spectacle and take away from having attention on the couple and the affair itself.


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## Irishmommy

I have removed some posts from this thread. If you have an issue with the op, please contact a mod. But not me, I'm gone for two days.


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## MomToKandE

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SharonO*
She also reminded me of the times she had fixed him up as a girl for Halloween trick or treating and for a costume party. We both agreed that he was darling in his girlish costumes and he seemed to enjoy it all at the time.

I've worn lots of things for costume parties or Halloween that I wouldn't consider wearing to a "serious" event like a wedding. Unless everyone is coming in costume I don't see what his past Halloween costumes have to do with anything.

If all of the bridesmaids were wearing strapless dresses and she wanted your 10 year old daughter as a jr. bridesmaid would she insist on putting her in the same dress? I hope she'd choose something that coordinated but was in a style appropriate for a 10 year old.

If your son does not normally wear dresses then IMO she shouldn't ask her to do so. She can have him as a "bridesman" (love that term!) and honor their relationship without asking him to do something that could be uncomfortable now or in the future. (wedding pictures are around for a long time!)


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## fierymyst

One important thing to remember... There will always be pictures of this event and you and your son need to remember this in case he might be mortified later on in life or if he isn't super comfortable with the whole idea but does it anyway (re: the dress part)

Always remember the pictures.....


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## Penelope

Sharon, if your son wanted to cross-dress I would be all for supporting him in his choices, although at 10 I would encourage him to be private about it.

I do not think this is the case. He should not be put in the position of having to choose between pleasing a beloved aunt and dressing as a boy. Really, I think you should tell your sister no.


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## Attached Mama

a 10 yr old boy shouldn't have to make the choice between pleasing someone he loves by cross dressing or being true to himself. Like PP's said - ask him if he wants to be in the wedding and then I'd tell your sis that since your son is NOT a cross dresser that it is not up for question. That is just wierd to ask that of him.


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## Sherry

my thoughts...for what they're worth, are to let him be a bridesmaid wearing a color co-ordinating tux as the bridesmaid dresses, or to ask you sister to ask him to be a groomsman. nothing says the groomsmen have to be only friends of the groom. at my wedding, my step father was one of my husbands groomsmen, and my dh's sister was one of my bridesmaids.

it can work, but certainly ask your son what he wants to do.


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## WNB

No way should any pressure be put on this boy to wear cross-gendered clothes to an event so public and so important to a person he cares about. I second the "bridezilla" assessment. Just because someone can "pass" for female does not mean they should be put into such a situation to please someone else.


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## SharonO

Thanks everyone for your input. It has really helped me make up my mind. I am going to tell my sister that its okay for her to ask my son to be in her wedding party since evryone seems quite supportive of the idea. If he agrees, which I'm sure he will, I'm going to warn her not to ask him to wear a dress. That seems to be the general concensus with which I totally agree. As someone suggested, we can work out the details of what he will be wearing later. I sort of lean toward having my mother, who is an excellent seamstress, make him a shirt and pants outfit to match the bridesmaid dresses. A tux like the groomsmen would be okay, but wouldn't blend in as nicely. Its my sister's wedding however and we definitely need my son's input on this as well.

My sister is coming over for dinner tomorrow and she will ask him to be in the wedding at that time with the conditions that I have set. We'll see where we go from there.


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## mommyto3girls

Sharon- I think that is a nice idea. I would have to say though that I think a matching shirt should suffice as a shirt and pants that match might be strange looking, especially if your sister chooses pink or something. My Brother was the "Man of Honor" at his best friend's wedding (yes, his friend is a girl) He wore the same Tuxedo as the groom's men, except the groom's men had cumberbuns and bow ties that were a print that coordinated with the girls dresses and Zach wore a vest and bow tie that was made of the same material as the dresses


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## amydidit

I had a "Man of Honor" at my wedding, and JOKED about him wearing a dress, but would never EVER seriously suggest it. I don't see a problem with him standing on the bride's side as a male bridesmaid (bridesboy???), but wearing a dress seems WAY too much to ask (unless he was a serious crossdresser already). It's different if it's a costume party and whatnot, but a serious occassion? No way


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## The4OfUs

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommyto3girls*
He wore the same Tuxedo as the groom's men, except the groom's men had cumberbuns and bow ties that were a print that coordinated with the girls dresses and Zach wore a vest and bow tie that was made of the same material as the dresses









: - great idea!

OP, let us know how it goes...I'm very curious!!


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## Melda

I personally think once he agreed i would let him make that choice on his own. I dont think it should factor in to whether or not he is in the wedding. That needs to come next. I think if she makes it a requirment for him to be on her side and he was not into it i would have him pass ... I think having your son wear a dress for someone elses sake could cause him some confusion in the future.... even possibly ill feelings towards someone or some people...


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## Zach'smom

SharonO said:


> I sort of lean toward having my mother, who is an excellent seamstress, make him a shirt and pants outfit to match the bridesmaid dresses. A tux like the groomsmen would be okay, but wouldn't blend in as nicely.QUOTE]
> 
> I would go with the tux with the tie and vest in the same fabric or color as the dresses. He will blend in very nicely that way. He doesn't need to match the bridesmaids exactly anyway. A shirt and pants outfit would not be dressy enough anyway. I had a "bridesman" in my wedding party. He wore the same tux as the groomen. But his tie and cummerbund was the same fabric as the bridesmaid dresses. The pictures looked fantastic.
> 
> Good luck with your sister.


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## beanma

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sherry*
nothing says the groomsmen have to be only friends of the groom. at my wedding, my step father was one of my husbands groomsmen, and my dh's sister was one of my bridesmaids.

i have never heard of only having the groom pick the male attendants and the bride pick the female attendants. i'm in NC and it's common here for the bride's brother to be a groomsman and the groom's sister to be a bridesmaid. i think it would be perfectly fine to have her ask him to be a groomsman. in fact i think it's a little weird to have the whole "groom's side" and "bride's side". yick. ideally people would be friends with both the bride and the groom! i definitely vote no on the dress-wearing. people who don't know him will just think he's a girl (esp given your description of him) and people will talk about that wedding for a long long time and they won't be talking about the bride and groom. it will definitely take the focus off of the couple.


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## momileigh

OK, I don't really care if the groom picks a female attendent or the bride picks a male attendent. And I don't think it matters what side they stand on, or how they make their way down the isle. BUT can we please, if we're going to be mixing genders all over the place, at least use gender-neutral terms for the attendents? Like "bride's attendents" and "groom's attendents" instead of bridesmaids and groomsmen? That's my best idea. But please don't call a boy a "bridesmaid." No matter what he wears.


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## SharonO

Yesterday was the day my sister came over for dinner and asked my son to be in her wedding party. Like so many instances in life, the problems you anticipate usually never happen or are easily dealt with. Its the ones you don't foresee that get you.

My sister explained how much she wanted my son to take part of her wedding. He was very enthusiastic about doing so, As I thought he would be. She explained that the groom usually has his close friends and relatives as his attendants and the bride did likewise. Since I am to be the Matron of Honor, she said that since he was almost like a son to her, it would be nice if he was one of her attendants as well. She gave him the option of being in the groom's party if he would rather, but he didn't quickly agreed that he wanted to be with her. She gave him a big hug and told him how much having him with her meant. Nothing further was mentioned about what he would wear and we then had a nice dinner.

After dinner my sister and I were talking about how easily and satisfactorily all of this had worked out. She said we could sort out what he would wear after she decided on colors, styles etc for the rest of her attendants. About that time my son came down from his room and asked if he could see the pictures from my wedding. I dug out my album and gave it to him and he took it back to his room.

When he came down to return my wedding album and to say goodnight a bit later. He had a very concerned look on his face. I asked what was the matter and he hummed and hawed around a bit and finally said that after looking at my wedding pictures he was worried about what he would have to wear to the wedding. Before anyone could respond he went on with words to the effect that he hoped that he could wear a dress like one I and the other attendants would would be wearing rather than one like the flowergirl was wearing in my wedding.

After a moment of stunned silence while we picked our jaws up off the floor, my sister assured him that she hadn't even started to plan what everyone would be wearing, but assured him that he would definitely not have to wear a flowergirl dress. She quickly went on to mention some of the various options that have been discussed on this thread, but ended with the option of wearing a dress like he had originally requested. She told him to think about it and that there was no big hurry for a decision. He seemed greatly relieved and went happily off to bed.

I was a little put out with my sister for adding the dress option, but she countered that he had originally been willing to wear one and maybe secretly wanted to do so. That thought had entered my mind also and didn't give me much comfort. We left it at that and I spent a very sleepless night wondering about my son, his sexuality, his future and what I would do if he asked to wear a dress at the wedding. Nothing was mentioned at breakfast this morning and he was his usual happy self as he went off to school. Here I am still stewing about it. Had to write this and get it off my chest.


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## mommy68

Why can't he be a bridesmaid and just wear a tuxedo?? I guess I'm lost on that one. I wouldn't allow my 10 yr old son to be in a wedding in front of everyone in girl's clothing, sorry, but I wouldn't and he wouldn't want to do it either. Is it not possible for him to be on the grooms side? I know of couples that have done that in the past as well.







Either way he is in the wedding party.







:


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## simmergirl

Great to hear how it went Sharon. As I understood it's a while until the wedding and you will hopefully have some opportunities to talk to both your sister and your son until the final arrangements are made.

It was nice to se that he didn't have any protest against wearing a dress and that he brought this up himself.

-But this raises another dilemma as I see it: In case he's got crossdressing tendencies (and he might) - will it be right to deny him to wear a dress? What might he be feeling if you said that boys must wear tuxedos and he is really starting to "come out" to you?

I would at least let the dress be an option, -maybe let him try on some and find time to talk to him and see if he want to "be a girl".

During the planning you can have a lot of opportunities to show pictures of both dresses, tuxes and other things. It's a great opprotunity to talk normally about this and not make it a problem (and make him think that beeing a boy is a problem..)

oki... I may be rambling away here and it may not be so serious as I said... but what if?

Anyway it's supposed to be a fun time - and I hope you all have a great time planning and preparing the wedding!

And if he want to to wear a dress - Let him do it!







(Don't let other ppl's opinions be the only one that counts)

Christine


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## WNB

Make sure he's aware he can wear whatever he feels comfortable in, and does _not_ have to wear a dress unless he wants to. The choice between "adult dress" and "flower girl dress" may have been a function of him realizing he was a kid not an adult (like the other members of the bridal party), but still thinking that being in the bridal party requires a dress no matter what. He may actually _want_ to wear a dress, which is also OK, just make sure that's what he wants, not what he feels is required.


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## SusanElizabeth

And I have to add this -- who has EVER heard of some kind of rule where a male attendant on the bride's side of the family has to dress like a girl/woman? My little brother was a ring bearer for my female cousin and we didn't know anyone on the groom's side. No one suggested that he be a "flower girl."


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## SamuraiEarthMama

i've been to plenty of weddings where women wore tuxedos (and looked damn fine in them, too!), and men wore, if not dresses, then kilts and tunics.

the seas didn't boil over, everyone had a lovely time, and life went on.

let him wear whatever he wants, don't stew about his sexuality (you can't do a darned thing about it anyway), and concentrate on being a loving, accepting mom whatever he grows up into!


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## Irishmommy

I have deleted more posts to this thread. Please do not cast aspersions on a poster's motives. If you have a concern about a poster, please report the post. Do not post to this thread about it.

Please stay on topic.


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## SusanElizabeth

I'm sorry but, in my opinion, suggesting that a 10-year-old boy wear a dress to a wedding is unkind. It sets him up for all sorts of ridicule, and surely he would get many horrified looks from wedding attendees. (If they realize he is a boy.) This is not something I would want to do to my son.


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## NotAMama

Perhaps after looking at the picutres, he thought there were only two options for being on the bride's side -- a bridesmaid's dress or a flower girl dress. I would definitately clarify with him that -- as a boy -- he is more than welcome to wear matching pants/tux while standing on the bride's side.

My nephew of the same age had no experience with weddings and when I asked him to be in my wedding as the ring bearer, he at first said he didn't want to. His mom asked him why and he said he didn't want to wear a dress. As a young boy with very little experience with weddings, he thought that anyone asked by the bride had to wear a dress. Once we clarified with him that he would be wearing pants, he was thrilled to be in the wedding.

Definitely clarify with your son that pants or a tux is an option for him and the only reason everyone in the pictures he looked at was wearing a dress on the bride's side was because they were all women.

My husband had his best female friend stand up for him on his side during our wedding. She wore a dress just like the bridesmaids dresses, except in black and white instead of blue and white. Also, a few years back, I attended a wedding where the bride's brother was her Honor Attendant and he wore a tux and looked quite dashing.


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## moondiapers

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SusannaG*
And I have to add this -- who has EVER heard of some kind of rule where a male attendant on the bride's side of the family has to dress like a girl/woman? My little brother was a ring bearer for my female cousin and we didn't know anyone on the groom's side. No one suggested that he be a "flower girl."

I've always thought ringbearer and flower girl were BOTH part of the bridal party.


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## SusanElizabeth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *moondiapers*
I've always thought ringbearer and flower girl were BOTH part of the bridal party.

Maybe you're right about that. I'm not sure.

But wait -- when my brother got married, my girls were both flower girls and, since I didn't know my future sister-in-law very well at the time, weren't they technically part of the groom's side? Wow. I never really thought about all this bride's side/groom's side stuff.


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## dancindoula

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SusannaG*
Maybe you're right about that. I'm not sure.

But wait -- when my brother got married, my girls were both flower girls and, since I didn't know my future sister-in-law very well at the time, weren't they technically part of the groom's side? Wow. I never really thought about all this bride's side/groom's side stuff.

The entire party is commonly referred to as the "bridal party". Some people try to clarify by calling it the "wedding party", but it's really the same thing. There's no such term as the "groom's party" ("groomal party???).

As an aside, at my wedding we had 6 men and 6 women for attendants. Rather than have what we thought of as a wall of color vs. a wall of black, we decided to have 3 couples stand on either side of us. The pictures turned out beautiful and the _bridal_







party all got to know each other that much more from standing together so much during the rehearsal and other pre-wedding moments.


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## dadof2girls

Wow what a decision to make on what to do with your son as a bridesmaid.
Your son seems to know what he wants, and it's great that he talks to you and not keep to him self. Keep the options open since he already knows them,
and if he wants to dress like the rest of the brides party let him. It looks like he and the bride to be will be ok with what ever he decides.
Puting my self in a place like him, I would opt a same color suit to match.
But if the bride being a best friend wanted me to wear a bridesmaid dress I would for her happiness!


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## CarrieMF

Quote:

Perhaps after looking at the picutres, he thought there were only two options for being on the bride's side -- a bridesmaid's dress or a flower girl dress. I would definitately clarify with him that -- as a boy -- he is more than welcome
I agree. Ask him WHY he brought up wearing a dress. Perhaps looking through the photos he thought that since he's on the Bride's side he HAS to wear a dress and was choosing which type.


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## Nkenga

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SharonO*
When he came down to return my wedding album and to say goodnight a bit later. He had a very concerned look on his face. I asked what was the matter and he hummed and hawed around a bit and finally said that after looking at my wedding pictures he was worried about what he would have to wear to the wedding. Before anyone could respond he went on with words to the effect that he hoped that he could wear a dress like one I and the other attendants would would be wearing rather than one like the flowergirl was wearing in my wedding.

Sounds like he might actually WANT to wear a dress, or he might just be confused and think that everyone on the bride's side has to wear a dress.

To be honest, I wuold let him know (again) that he can wear pants and a shirt that matches the dresses, that he does not have to wear a dress. Maybe the "three strikes" rule: let him know three times, on three completely separate occasions, that he can wear pants, that he doesn't have to wear a dress. If he says he wants to wear a dress each time, let him, but I would honestly be reluctant. I'm all for people dressing the way that makes them most comfortable, but I also would hate to have him look at the pictures in 10 years and be mortified that he was in a dress. I would imagine that someone who is a cross-dresser wouldn't feel mortified that he was in pants.


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## julie128

I have been to a wedding where there was a Best Babe instead of a Best Man. She wore a dress, not a suit. This same wedding had many attendants, both male and female, and they wore what they wanted within the color scheme. Another wedding had a female groom's attendant. She wore a dress similar to the bridesmaids.

Making a boy wear a dress is a bad idea, imho. He can wear the same suit/tux as the groomsmen and still stand on the bride's side.


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## simmergirl

This is quite interesting to follow since the theme seems to be quite controversial and a lot of different opinions are shared. The controversy may be because this is an important event for the bride or that some are concerned for the boy. Either way it's quite educational. And even if you don't get the answer - it may help a lot of others dealing with 'gender-issues' in general. (I do have a son myself where we have such issues).

I hope that you will keep us updated on the result and even your thoughts. It seems from a lot of the answers that this is NOT socially acceptable (of course I'm sure you will take this in consideration). And, as a result of the current decision, some of the answers are shifting towards "How do we motivate him to wear tuxedos or pants".

He's very close to his aunt and is looking forward to be a part of his favorite aunts special occasion. He even wants to be as the other on the brides party and have a beautiful dress.

Yes, I know from the previous answers; He doesn't have to wear a dress - but should it be a "crime" if he does? At least that's my thought - or hope...

And why should he get in any "traumatic" experience by seeing pictures from a very special day where he is in a beautiful dress on a special day for you all?

Wouldn't it be a bigger trauma if he learned that his feelings are not allowed?

Maybe the time up till the wedding will be more exciting (and easier to include him) if he wasn't different from you. It is easy to let him feel like an outsider because he is a man.

You could be looking at dresses for both him, you and your sister. And talk about hairstyles and even go to try outfits together. This could be an opportunity to get even closer and make him more part of this than he would otherwise.

Here's my thought: Don't make such an issue out of it beforehand, you have a lot of time. Look through a bridal catalog, let him tell you what he like and let it be allowed to pick dresses, pants, shirts and tuxedos. If he chooses a dress that's fine and I'm sure most of the guest won't even think of what gender he is.

I see my self starting to "encourage" here: but that's *not* my intention. My intention is to say that you should do whatever is right for YOU.

Anyway, It would have been nice too hear from SharonO again and see what you are thinking.

Christine

(edited to correct some (a lot of) spelling errors...)


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## MamaTaraX

Ijust stumbled into this forum. I'vebeen here once before. This thread caught myeye. I am enjoying the discussion and I am now planning, after reading every bit, to use this as a discussion point with my DH. As our boys get older, things like this may come up. This is a wonderful one to see how my DH would really feel about his boys wearing dresses if they chose and other things of that nature. I knw what he says, but I've had very few examples to throw at him and see what he thinks. So I have to say thanks for this thread. Thank-you.









Namaste, Tara


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## Tinas3muskateers

Could he walk her down the isle?


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## eirual

Does your son have *Male Friends* he could talk to about this??

THen maybe he'd get a better understanding of how other's would feel about the whole situation. And he can decide weather or not he's up for making such a statement??


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## Roar

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MamaTaraX*
. As our boys get older, things like this may come up.

Namaste, Tara

Seriously, you think there is actually a chance of that?


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## Ann-Marita

I'd like to see the web sites that the OP's sister showed her with boys dressed as girl attendants. Got a link?


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## SharonO

Thanks for all the interesting comments and opinions. We haven't really discussed the wedding since last Sunday when my sister asked my son to participate. I know he has looked at my wedding pictures a number of times however We are all getting together this weekend and for the 4th of July so I'm sure we'll talk about it then. Needless to say, I have given it a lot of thought in the interim. One suggestion that I liked was to involve him in the planning and try to determine what he really wants to do. I'm not quite sure how I will deal with it if it turns out that he wants to wear a dress. While I wish the issue had never come up, maybe I need to know this however.

In regard to the question about the website which mentioned boys participating in weddings as girls, the website is: www.atlantabridal.com
Look under the part about Dressing the Ring Bearer


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## secretresistance

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SharonO*
In regard to the question about the website which mentioned boys participating in weddings as girls, the website is: www.atlantabridal.com
Look under the part about Dressing the Ring Bearer

Would it be possible for you to point me to a more specific link? The only things I found regarding ring bearers' attire were either business listings or accesible to paid subscribers only.


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## SharonO

The exact link for the ocation on the wedding website discussing boys as bridesmaids and flowergirls is: http://www.weddingbasics.com/fashion...ringbearer.asp

Hope this works for you


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## TigerTail

I can't see anything about boys in dresses on the website, just a lot of fantasizing in the responses. Did I miss something?


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## talk de jour

:

Is this for real?!

Your son should wear a coordinating tux. Not a dress - unless he wants to, which, considering his responses, I doubt.


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## secretresistance

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TigerTail*
I can't see anything about boys in dresses on the website, just a lot of fantasizing in the responses. Did I miss something?

















You and me both, I guess.


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## Irishmommy

For the third, or is it fourth? time, please keep this thread on topic. If you have an issue please contact me or BelovedK.


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## pjlioness

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SharonO*
She said that she had come upon the idea from a bridal website that she had visited. In it there was a discussion about boys being bridesmaids and flowergirls. She took me to her computer and showed it to me. To my amazement, this actually happens.

I would tend to err towards the discussion on the site being suspect. There are men out there who have fetishes about boys dressed as girls (and some who have fetishes about babies in diapers or circumcision), and the comments on the site may well have been from some. There is no way anyone can know for sure. The professional part of the site didn't mention anything about boys in dresses.

However, if your son wants to wear a dress, understands that his wearing one will be captured on film forever, and doesn't mind that, I don't see anything automatically wrong it. I wouldn't encourage either of my sons to wear a dress, no matter how easily they could pass for a girl or how cute they would look in one, but if they insisted they wanted to, I wouldn't stop them.


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## Shirelle

Quote:

I think that your son being in the wedding is great. Being on the bride's party is wonderful.

Having someone else (the bride) ask him to wear a dress (if he doesn't usually cross dress) is just plain weird.

Does your son crossdress under other circumstances? Publically? If not, no, I would NOT ask that he wear a dress!
ITA! Why is that necessary? It almost seems a little insulting to me, if that is not the way that he normally is.

Why couldn't he just be in her bridal party, and be a "person of honor" or something like that?


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## BelovedK

This conversation seems to have reached it's natural conclusion. It seems like the OP's concerns were addressed properly. The thread is now closed to new posts


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