# 11 year old addicted to Minecraft



## Super Pickle

We enrolled our 11 year old in K12 this year, and they sent us a personal computer( we already had a laptop, but it was not for game playing). Anyway, my 11 and 8 year old sons asked for Minecraft for Christmas. We thought it looked like a cool game and got it for them, with the stipulation that the 8 yo not use the multi-player function and that the 11 yo only chat with neighborhood friends.

I do see the attraction of the game, and I see the potential for lots of fun and creativity. My concern is that it is becoming addicting. The 11 yo is agreeable enough that if I ask him respectfully to come do such-and-such, he will turn off Minecraft and do it, but he rarely does anything else on his own initiative. He doesn't even go to his neighborhood friends' houses anymore to play. I'll suggest that he go invite so-and-so over, and he replies that he's already playing with so-and-so on Minecraft. He hurries through his schoolwork and instrument practice so he can get to playing on the computer. Now, it is cold outside, and I'm not one of those "Out in any weather" type people. I was born in the South and live in the Midwest now, so to me, winter is indoor season. The computer goes back in June, at the end of the school year, but I am just not sure how to approach things until then. My husband thinks I should just let him play as long as he is keeping up with school, his music, and his sport. I feel that there is something wrong with being on the computer every time you have a second of free time.

Does anyone else have this problem? How have you handled it?


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## HarperRose

My 11 yr old son plays Minecraft all the time, and our 4 yr old does, too. We have it on our iphones as well as a desktop and laptop. It's not harmful. It's not dangerous. He doesn't do it to the exclusion of anything else. I wouldn't worry about it.

(This comes from a family w/ aspergers that is close friends w/ a video game developer. We love Minecraft and I'm, making a minecraft bday cake for my 11 yr old in April.)


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## Alenushka

My son loves Minecraft. We took him to the convention in Las Vegas. He volunteered as staff.

As long as homework is done I am fine with Minecraft.

It is great game. I actually hesitate to call it that. He learned a lot and met some amazing friends. My son connected with a programming group at a local university thank to Minecraft and now once a week he goes and listen to lectures on topics such as AI.

I would not stop my son from playing Minecraft in the summer. I think it would be really detrimental to his social life.

IT also encourage my son to study programming languages. He built his own website. He is developing a game of his won. he also now earn money by offering tech support in the neighborhood.


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## Mummoth

I read this aloud to my 10 year old minecraft addict and he says your husband is right, LOL!

I've been pushing for homework to be done PROPERLY before he gets online, and he has to keep his room decent. The other thing going on in his life thats a big deal to him is that he gets to ride his bike to the school by himself and he can go a few blocks to a friends house or the park, so when I get him off the computer he asks to go out. I generally keep them off the computer until after school time, even on weekends... then at least most of the day is gone. When I call him off at suppertime he usually sticks around and chats with us, and sometimes we decide to do something else.

The one thing I realized is if he goes to a friends house, they just get on the computer or gaming system... and then he's on youtube and playing halo and whatever else the other kid is allowed to do! So the letting him go places like the park and meet friends there has sort of fixed that.


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## chaimom

LOL! I can't wait to read this post to my 9 yo when he gets home from school. He'll crack up because we've had the same discussion in our house. All three of my kids play minecraft. (9,9, & 6). I can see why they like it-- it's all about using their imagination. I think there are some subtle math skills in there, too, especially for my 6 yo. I limit time if they're not getting music practice, homework or their limit chores done, but they have enough outside activities that I don't mind if they relax by building universes on minecraft.


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## Youngfrankenstein

My 12-year-old just started renting a server so he could host a world. They love it here. We have gone through phases of favorite and "addictive" video games since my kids were about 6 or 7. We have a 30 minute computer time limit during the week and an hour on Sat and on Sun. That seems to work for us.

I wouldn't be specifically concerned about them being obsessed with it. That is very normal and won't last forever. Just find rules you can live with.


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## Evan&Anna's_Mom

You mean I'm not alone? I had no idea Minecraft existed until my DS started public middle school this year. He quickly made friends with a couple of boys who introduced him to Minecraft and he's been hooked ever since. He hosted a "playdate" (or whatever you call if when the kids are 12) this Sunday and for 5 hours the three boys sat in the office, each on a different computer, and played Minecraft. It drove me nuts but they had a great time. I'm a little worried about the amount of attention it gets too, but I haven't ever really limited screen time in the past so I don't want to start now unless I see some real signs that its causing issues. I do like that DS hooks into a server run by a school friend and only open by invitation, so I generally know who he's chatting with. It certainly does give me a handy incentive for getting him to do things.


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## zebra15

ok, explain minecraft to me...


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## journeymom

http://www.minecraft.net/ From the Minecraft website, Minecraft is a game about placing blocks to build anything you can imagine. At night monsters come out, make sure to build a shelter before that happens.

It takes place in a large, chunky landscape. You build things with big cubes. You can mine (dig) down into the ground with a pick axe, tunnel here and there. Sometimes you come across water or lava. If you're in Survival mode you need to hunt for food from the pigs that roam around. I think you get clothing from the sheep. Like it says above, you have to build yourself a house to keep the zombies away.

12 y.o. son (go figure!) is pretty obsessed, too. He prefers Creative play, which doesn't have zombies, and doesn't keep score if I understand correctly. He just goes around building things and blowing them up with dynamite. Dh built a server for him and he hosts his friends. It's a safe place.

I agree, it's a pretty clever game, and I don't have any problems with the content or concept. I just don't like how much time ds spends with it.


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## zebra15

Oh geeze- do NOT tell ds about minecraft. Sounds like something he would totally love. Right now he is still ok with lego designer and pogo LOL.


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## JenRave

.


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## journeymom

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *JenRave*
> 
> Haha, my kid loves minecraft, and sometimes I think he doesn't like the game so much as watching endless, endless stupid youtube videos of other people making things in it. I think it's more creative than most video games.


My son does this too!


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## robin3

My ds is online right now talking and playing Minecraft with two friends. They love it!


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## HarperRose

He is a normal kid living in the 21st century. I really wouldn't worry about it.


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## USAmma

another mom of an 11 year old minecraft fan here! It's all about balance and moderation. Ours was obsessed for awhile but we started to have agreed upon time limits for computer use and only on weekends or school holidays, or 30 mins if all work was done. We also do an internet sabbath on sundays and encourage creative work with their hands or calling friends. I do think it's a neat game with lots of benefits, just as long as it is balanced with the rest of life.


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## leafylady

I find that my son binges on any game when it's new. Eventually the attraction fades, especially once the community pool opens for the summer. He loves Minecraft but now is fixated on some facebook game that's based on Naruto.

If you're not comfortable with the amount of time gaming, you can set time limits. It really depends on whatever you as a family are comfortable with.


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## emandbri

My 8 year old is also addicted to mindcraft. We have a general rule for all kids that they can only be on the computer for an hour and they have to ask before going on. They ask, we say yes, they set a timer. Since the kids "kept forgetting" to set the timer we made a new rule that if we find them on the laptop without a timer they get no more computer the rest of the day.


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## Satori

I had to pull the plug on minecraft and ban it. Dd11 was addicted to it to the point she goes through withdrawals when off it and was having meltdown tantrums when I'd tell her to get off the game. It's pretty bad, she would demand to play from early morning until bedtime, refused to participate in family things, chores, schoolwork ect. She wouldnt even come away to get food and would literally starve unless I brought her food to eat at the computer and then forgot to eat half the time due to being absorbed in the game. She ignored my flat out order not to install minecraft on other computers and put it on all on them and even my phone. She refused to be without the game for even just a few minutes.

When I pulled the plug she started watching others play it on YouTube all day.

The end result? I had to take away the iPad and all computers now have a CMOS boot password and password protected screen savers that kick in in 1 minute. It's a full on addiction problem and it's not healthy. She expects to be entertained every second of every day and while yes the game meets that need limiting her to an hour a day did not work either so I banned it.

Oh yeah, I never PAID for the game yet she had full access, she learned on YouTube how to play for free which I'm pretty sure is illegal. She didn't understand the problem with pirating,

If she could limit her time on the game and remain civil as well as contribute to family life I'd be open to the game but just as with the Roblox game I had to ban it and take even more drastic action to cut her off. She has been in counciling a long time and even the counciler agreed it was time to pull the plug. Minecraft is not good or healthy IMO. Kids need to be active, not staring at a screen. We're about to go screen free again period (were for 3 years) if that's what it takes to get family life back.


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## Super Pickle

Wow, Satori! I can't believe what you've been through!

The meltdowns that you mentioned are starting to happen with my 9 yo son. He does not mind doing other things, like playing with friends or doing Legos, but he has a hard time shutting it off when asked. And while the 11 yo has gotten better, and his interest has waned somewhat, he has been too sedentary and is starting to put on a little weight. We did make it so that no one can get on the computer at all without my typing in my password, so that has helped. I will be so glad when the K-12 year is over and we send the cursed computer back.


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## Satori

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Super Pickle*
> 
> Wow, Satori! I can't believe what you've been through!
> 
> The meltdowns that you mentioned are starting to happen with my 9 yo son. He does not mind doing other things, like playing with friends or doing Legos, but he has a hard time shutting it off when asked. And while the 11 yo has gotten better, and his interest has waned somewhat, he has been too sedentary and is starting to put on a little weight. We did make it so that no one can get on the computer at all without my typing in my password, so that has helped. I will be so glad when the K-12 year is over and we send the cursed computer back.


If your staying with K12 for next year you will keep the computer over the summer, JIC you didn't know


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## 4evermom

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Satori*
> Oh yeah, I never PAID for the game yet she had full access, she learned on YouTube how to play for free which I'm pretty sure is illegal. She didn't understand the problem with pirating,


There is a free version of the game that you can download from the official site. You can build, place blocks, etc but I don't think there are monsters. And you can't play multiplayer or anything.


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## Satori

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *4evermom*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *Satori*
> Oh yeah, I never PAID for the game yet she had full access, she learned on YouTube how to play for free which I'm pretty sure is illegal. She didn't understand the problem with pirating,
> 
> 
> 
> There is a free version of the game that you can download from the official site. You can build, place blocks, etc but I don't think there are monsters. And you can't play multiplayer or anything.
Click to expand...

Pretty sure it was full version, she played with others and there were zombies. She's still ticked at me for cutting her off but oh well.


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## Downsouth2

Hi I have become concerned about our 9 year old - he is playing mincraft with every second available - I feel that he is missing out on life and not experiencing being a normal child - we are having arguments about this and I am not sure if I am overacting about this - last night he had such nightmares he said there where wolves chasing him - the wolves from minecraft!!! This is too much for me and I feel it is my fault that he is addicted to this game,


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## 4evermom

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Satori*
> 
> Pretty sure it was full version, she played with others and there were zombies. She's still ticked at me for cutting her off but oh well.


My mistake, you CAN do multiplayer with the free version. It's a full version, just outdated. And it probably has monsters. I was asking ds what the difference was between the free version and the payed one and didn't get the same info as is on the website. My ds usually plays with the monsters turned off...


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## 4evermom

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Downsouth2*
> 
> Hi I have become concerned about our 9 year old - he is playing mincraft with every second available - I feel that he is missing out on life and not experiencing being a normal child - we are having arguments about this and I am not sure if I am overacting about this - last night he had such nightmares he said there where wolves chasing him - the wolves from minecraft!!! This is too much for me and I feel it is my fault that he is addicted to this game,


It's a very interesting and engaging game. Much more worthwhile than many other games, imo. He should be able to change the settings to "peaceful" if the monsters are too scary. There will still be wolves but ds says they only attack you if you attack them first. And wolves can be tamed if you right click on them with a bone.


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## Casha'sMommy

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *4evermom*
> 
> It's a very interesting and engaging game. Much more worthwhile than many other games, imo. He should be able to change the settings to "peaceful" if the monsters are too scary. There will still be wolves but ds says they only attack you if you attack them first. And wolves can be tamed if you right click on them with a bone.


My 6yo plays minecraft with her big brother and he always changes the settings to peaceful and dd (a VERY sensitive lo) is perfectly cool with it. No nightmares, nothing negative at all. Just lots of quality time with her big bro.


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## BeYoungenGood

I am starting to feel the same way about my 11 yr old son with Aspergers who is obsessed with Minecraft. He has literally sat in front of the computer for 15 hours in one day when I was down with a migraine. He'd just get up to eat and go to the bathroom. Now with summer coming, living in Orlando, with the horrible heat and expensive attractions, I'm hoping I can keep him occupied enough that he won't be glued to the computer all summer or throwing a fit! It's NOT a bad game, it's just too much of anything is too much...


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## BeYoungenGood

I am starting to feel the same way about my 11 yr old son with Aspergers who is obsessed with Minecraft. He has literally sat in front of the computer for 15 hours in one day when I was down with a migraine. He'd just get up to eat and go to the bathroom. Now with summer coming, living in Orlando, with the horrible heat and expensive attractions, I'm hoping I can keep him occupied enough that he won't be glued to the computer all summer or throwing a fit! It's NOT a bad game, it's just too much of anything is too much...


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## MOMMP1999

Wow! I am so glad to read this! My 11 year old plays Minecraft every second of the day that he can! I was getting worried...we have had both the Wii and the xbox for a few years and the kids hardly ever touched it.....Now, he discovered this Minecraft and he cannot stop! I had to finally slow it down...it is easier to say he cannot play for the whole day than to let him play for 1 hour! He gets so frustrated and keeps saying, 1 more minute.....1 more minute! Now, he has his sister and all his friends playing it at our house. We had 6 kids over one day and they were all in the basement taking turns playing Minecraft...(2 people at a time on the split screen) It is addicting to them!!

The funny thing is, there is not really any violence at all...they build things and collect things and whatever else. I cannot figure out if it is a learning experience or a bad for them!

anyway, I guess once in a while is not bad, but, this game is definately addicting!!!


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## lazybonesjones

OMG I am so glad I am not the only one! My almost 8 year old is sooo addicted to Minecraft! I told him I don't understand the addiction and he says he loves to build things. I have limited him - he gets 1 hour in the am and 1 hour in the pm to play. However, when I ask him to get off, he is always saying ok hold on, 1 more minute cuz he has to finish what he is building. Last week his cousin slept over and they were on there for 5 hours straight! I was ok with that because it was a sleepover. I am thinking he is going to need glasses soon from staring at the screen!!


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## DariusMom

Glad I stumbled across this thread. My 9.5 year old is becoming addicted. We've never really needed to impose screen time limits because he more or less self-regulated. However, even he admits that he needs us to impose some limits for him, otherwise he's lost in MineCraft for days . . . .


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## mumm

LOL! I saw the thread title and thought "I don't remember posting about this!" My 11 year old wasn't allowed to play at night, only in the morning once he e was ready for school. But then we discovered him waking at 4am to get more screen time. Then we imposed a "no playing before 6am rule" and he would wake at 5:45 get fully ready for school and be sitting in front of the screen at 5:59 ready to play. I figured if he was willing to do that then it did matter to him. It is quite social for him. He will be on a conference call with friends across the country and across the street and they are all playing together.

It does seem like a fine game but I worry about the time it takes away from his physical activity. I really think kids (and adults!) should be active (sweaty, puffing, red-faced) for several hours a day and that doesn't happen for him anymore. I'm making him run 1.4 miles every night (around the block) but that takes 13 minutes and isn't really a substitute.

Does anyone know of minecraft camps, classes, clinics, conferences, etc in New England? I know there is a minecraft version for schools but I haven't even found any local private schools using it. I'd love to find him a community where he can have face to face contact with other addicts. Plus I haven't spent time figuring out how to do mods and he needs help!


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## karne

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *mumm*
> 
> LOL! I saw the thread title and thought "I don't remember posting about this!" My 11 year old wasn't allowed to play at night, only in the morning once he e was ready for school. But then we discovered him waking at 4am to get more screen time. Then we imposed a "no playing before 6am rule" and he would wake at 5:45 get fully ready for school and be sitting in front of the screen at 5:59 ready to play. I figured if he was willing to do that then it did matter to him. It is quite social for him. He will be on a conference call with friends across the country and across the street and they are all playing together.
> 
> It does seem like a fine game but I worry about the time it takes away from his physical activity. I really think kids (and adults!) should be active (sweaty, puffing, red-faced) for several hours a day and that doesn't happen for him anymore. I'm making him run 1.4 miles every night (around the block) but that takes 13 minutes and isn't really a substitute.
> 
> Does anyone know of minecraft camps, classes, clinics, conferences, etc in New England? I know there is a minecraft version for schools but I haven't even found any local private schools using it. I'd love to find him a community where he can have face to face contact with other addicts. Plus I haven't spent time figuring out how to do mods and he needs help!


I'd be interested to know if there is a real life community aspect to MC. My kids love it, as do many of their friends. It's really huge in terms of the amount of time you can spend researching, watching youtube videos, creating, etc. I like it a lot, esp. for one of my kids who loves to build, but the time suck is starting to be an issue. I am not one to impose limits, usually, esp. at this age, but honestly, we're getting close.


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## whatsnextmom

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *karne*
> 
> I'd be interested to know if there is a real life community aspect to MC. My kids love it, as do many of their friends. It's really huge in terms of the amount of time you can spend researching, watching youtube videos, creating, etc. I like it a lot, esp. for one of my kids who loves to build, but the time suck is starting to be an issue. I am not one to impose limits, usually, esp. at this age, but honestly, we're getting close.


My DS 11 and his buddies all play. They were friends before the minecraft discovery and so it's something they added to their friendship. This summer, they are spending hours on it daily but typically, they have no time to (all are in theatre, play sports, have active families, ect.) I'm dropping DS off today at one of their homes and they are all playing together in the same room lol. Next week, I'm taking them all to the beach sans computers and they are just as excited.

During the summer, I really don't care. I mean, school has him sitting for 5 hours a day... so what if he sits for 5 hours on the computer in the summer. He's still playing his instruments, going to basketball practices and games, going to tae kwon do, taking part in family activities, being with friends, ect. Minecraft really helped him make friends at middle school last year. During the school year, he's really too busy to play more than a couple hours on the weekend... plus... things wear off. I know that allowing him to indulge in minecraft this summer means he'll barely touch it during the school year just like when we first got the Wii. He lived on it for 2 months and not it can go 3 months without even being turned on!


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## Glen Pauls

My 8 year old is addicted to Minecraft .... he watches youtube videos on minecraft talks about some evil guy named harry bryant or something like that ..... wants mods but everytime i try and install a mod on the mac, I screw up the minecraft game. He eats by the computer so he doesn't miss anything. We have to throw him outside because he doesn't want to play with any kids when they come calling on him. Minecraft, Minecraft, Minecraft .... since we found it, that's become his life.


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## Mary Beth Dagit

I'm with Satori. I feel like we need to pull the plug on the game. When our 12 yo son cannot stop playing without a huge meltdown. I think some people (especially those with ADHD, Asperger's, etc. like my son) have a marked tendency for addiction to the game. Playing in "moderation" does not appear to be an alternative. The way it was explained to us by our son's counselor and psychiatrist is that the game provides continuous stimulation for the brain (like a drug) and when it is shut off it causes a withdrawal. Like the brain can't deal without the artificial stimulation.

When I used to read that studies said playing computer games can make people aggressive, I thought that was silly because my kids weren't "hitting" or hurting anyone. However, with our 12 yo I see that the "aggression" is a surly and disrespectful attitude. It's making verbal threats like "You better not turn that off or I'll _______."

All I can say is, if I could go back and start my parenting from the beginning again, I would NOT allow any video games in our house. I know they would get to play them at other kids' houses; however, it would be very limited in duration. It would be something they looked forward to rather than feel as though it were an entitlement. It's the same feeling I have when I am around brownies and chocolate chip cookies. I just can't allow them in the house. I can only have them when we go out or visit someone.

Meanwhile, I have to figure out how to deal with this now living in a very technological society. Hmmm... It has helped reading everyone's experiences. My son was laughing when I read some of the responses on this board because he realized it was all true. I think it helped him to hear that he was not the only one going through this as well.


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## venturamama

My 11 and 5 yo sons are totally addicted. My 11 yo got all of his friends addicted, and now that is all that they do! It's driving me crazy! I'm glad school starts next week because it will get them away from it, but I know as soon as they walk through the door they are going to want to play it. My boys get really irritable when I ask them to turn it off. My 11 yo old definitely has an obsessive personality, and when he likes something it is all he talks about. I didn't mind as much when it was dinosaurs, or the universe, but the video game talk drives me crazy. I have considered taking away video games because that seems to be his only interest. He is not athletic at all, so is not involved in sports. My problem is if I take away video games, I feel like I will be taking away his link to his friends. He is kind of a different kid, gifted and has language and depth of understanding greater than most of his friends. He loves discussions with adults on science, politics, religion etc. Kids his age seem to like discussions on video games and sports. Any advice?


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## KrazyMomOfBoys

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *venturamama*
> 
> My 11 and 5 yo sons are totally addicted. My 11 yo got all of his friends addicted, and now that is all that they do! It's driving me crazy! I'm glad school starts next week because it will get them away from it, but I know as soon as they walk through the door they are going to want to play it. My boys get really irritable when I ask them to turn it off. My 11 yo old definitely has an obsessive personality, and when he likes something it is all he talks about. I didn't mind as much when it was dinosaurs, or the universe, but the video game talk drives me crazy. I have considered taking away video games because that seems to be his only interest. He is not athletic at all, so is not involved in sports. My problem is if I take away video games, I feel like I will be taking away his link to his friends. He is kind of a different kid, gifted and has language and depth of understanding greater than most of his friends. He loves discussions with adults on science, politics, religion etc. Kids his age seem to like discussions on video games and sports. Any advice?


I have learned with my 10yo son to let it ride. When my son was 8 he started playing WoW with my hubby. He was obsessed to say the least. I bit my tongue. It was amazing what he was learning from playing. He learned how to read fast and comprehend, how to budget his money, how to take lead with a group of people and organize and much much more. There is so much learning going on with gaming. Minecraft is just the same. My 10yo and my 6yo LOVE it!! Especially my 6yo. He plays on the creative side. He is a multideminsional thinker. So, playing this game is helping him learn so much more than anything else I can think of. Perhaps if you look at it as an educational tool? Maybe our boys can play together?


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## venturamama

Kathy,

I definitely see that there is some educational value to it, and I definitely prefer it over some other video games, but I feel like they play it to the exclusion of many other worthwhile activities. It's so a hard to find a balance. It's nice that your kids are getting something good out of playing it. We don't let them play online with anyone that we haven't personally met, but thanks for the offer!


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## Kindermama

As with anything, we as parents need to set limits. If you don't, your kids pay for it in the long run. An adult addicted to Minecraft is far different than an 8 year old. Said 8 year old's brain is still developing and if he/she is playing to the exclusion of relationships, fresh air and outdoor play...never mind chores, homework etc...well, it's high time you all step in!


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## carlye828

We have limits on all video game time. The kids, who are homeschooled and have a lot of free time everyday, get 1 hour Monday through Thursday. After dinner on Friday, they can play whenever they want for the weekend. This comes with a few other stipulations also, such as chores and behavior. We also do a lot of family stuff on the weekends, which is not optional, so they get to refocus on real life.

My 12 yo ds and 9 yo dd LOVE minecraft. I got them each a shirt for their birthdays that says "ONE MORE BLOCK. ONE MORE BLOCK. ONE MORE BLOCK. ONE MORE BLOCK." My dd almost peed her pants she thought it was so funny! I think it's a great game. The kids are really proud of things they build, and have a ton of fun breaking them too!


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## leafylady

I don't put limits on the gaming, but there are a lot of other things I ask them to do (chores, homeschool, family time activities), so that does limit their time. I don't mind the social video games when the kids are playing with others that they know in real life, either close-by friends or long-distance friends.
I don't feel that screen time is inherently bad, though a purely sedentary lifestyle is certainly physically unhealthy.
I don't feel obligated to put limits on something just because the kids spend a lot of time on it. If I do feel like they are spending too much time on something, I ask myself what I'd rather have them doing. When I figure that out, and why, then I decide what approach to take in having the kids do the other activities.


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## Coconut567

I am just as concerned as you are. I have a 12 and 5 year old addicted to it. I don't feel it's fair that children are losing their ability to play with other children or take interest in other things besides computers. I worry about my children very much. I decided to get a divorce from my ex because I wasn't be listened to about how I think the children should be raised. Many people are of the mind set that this is no big deal. I am not one of those people. My heart goes out to you. Those of us who feel this isn't right are in the minority. There is a new book that came out called Talking Back to Facebook. I recommend you read it.


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## stretchandgrow

hi my 6 year old is the same, the game itself seems fine to me following lots of research, and does encourage his creative side and as the game has few weapons or killing apart from the creapers which i think is a survival thing, it seems to be ok, HOWEVER the problems i find are when he watches the trailers on youtube that some of the more tech minded adults post of their experiences in minecraft as they tend to give a running comentry which is sometimes fowl and full of bad lauguage and experiences.... i have contacted the main ones who my son follows which have millions of hits on you tube and asked them to tone it down, but these guys have many followers and are adults after all so my requests will probably be mentioned and laughed at...


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## 4evermom

Just updating since someone bumped this up. My own always unlimited ds still plays Minecraft regularly but I can see that he is less interested than he used to be. He's gone and found a few different games of interest to him.

But he loves being able to play with his long distance cousins and is becoming friends with some of their friends who we see in real life a few time a year. It has been great for fostering friendships with them. They do a voice chat through gmail so the ones who don't read or type well can communicate easily. It's wonderful seeing the kids working together to accomplish agreed upon goals and experimenting with their own small societies.

The language in the commentaries of the youtube videos can be annoying/inappropriate. But that is something we've been dealing with for years, long before ds started playing Minecraft. That's just the nature of the internet that it doesn't have a G rating and parental guidance is a good idea. It does make parenting more difficult because so much is so easily accessed by young kids. When ds was younger, I helped him find which people cursed less and guided him in looking for their user name rather than clicking on anything with the subject that was of interest. And sometimes he was happy to watch game play with the sound off. I don't worry about it much these days as long as ds knows not to use the words he hears.


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## IdentityCrisisMama

Like many of you here, we have also gone through bouts where I feel DC is getting too much screen time. When DC was under 9 or so we limited screen time to weekends. Now that she's a bit older she does watch some stuff and get some computer time during the week but I reserve the "right" to ask her to turn it off. Within that frame work, we do what others have mentioned -- build a busy, fun day so that she doesn't want to get on. That has worked for us but I recognize the challenge for a kid who is bit more prone to media/video "addiction" and/or kids who use a computer for school.

When DC is old enough to get on the computer on a frequent basis, I'd be interested in some sort of timer for her so she doesn't end up sucking up her entire day. Maybe I'll get one for myself too.


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## jlrmom

Omgosh...so nice to know someone else has EXACT SAME ISSUE as me.My son is also 11 and also addicted to Minecraft. Kind of reminds me of the Dungeons and Dragons game the kids played back in "the day". At least in this game there's no active role-playing that transfers to real-life (yet). That's about the only good thing I can say about it. The only reason I let him get an account is that he convinced me that it does have SOME thinking involved (how to build, create, concoct things). But when I discovered that there is also violence involved, I grew more concerned. HE has friends that just want to do that stuff...the violent things. I have told him at times to only do the "creative" things on there (building, creating,etc., NOT killing). That made me feel a little better.

I, too, am very concerned about his social/familial relations as a result of this game. He too, is shunning ACTUAL face-to-face friend time, Daddy time, ME time (the worst!), and doesn't want to do ANYTHING else. I'm afraid in response to your question, I have not handled this very well. We have had the opposite problem down here in the deep south as it's been 95-100 degrees for the last three months. They pretty much can't go outside, because if the heat doesn't get you, the mosquitoes will.He HATES to read,and I figure TV is just as bad,SO, we pretty much have just let him have free reign, worrying all along. There have been time (when I've thought about it) when I've told him to watch EDUCATIONAL tv as a break from the game. That is good because at least he's learning something and giving his poor wrists a break.

The problem is that Minecraft is what he always goes back to. There are filters you can use that limit the time or dictate the exact hours they can spend on the computer. I am looking into that...apparently the computer will just shut off when the time is up. I love that idea.

The fact that he is losing OLD friends because they're not into the game or he never has them over anymore breaks my heart, let alone gives up doing things with his father & I for it. I have warned him that there is a high possibility that we will NOT renew his membership if there is such a thing. I don't know if it's a lifetime fee that we paid for or an annual one. I'm praying it is annual, because I'm sick of it. On the other hand, when he's in High School (they play it, too. I'm a substitute teacher and I've seen them in computer class), I suppose it IS better than hanging out & doing drugs...may reconsider then. But then I worry about his future wife. I remember when I was first married and all he did was stay on the computer!!! Drove me crazy!!! Lots of women are married to gaming addicts and it's a serious problem in their marriages (some).

I even worry about him having Carpal Tunnel Syndrome at 13!!! Don't know if anyone ever has, but I wouldn't be surprised! And let me tell you...he had a friend over one day (one of these that tell you everything that your kid doesn't ) and he said that there is a sexual element (when people mate). I'm sure it's not graphic, but ewwww. Apparently there is also a sniper game withing the game (which I highly do not like), and he said that there was a father that let his daughter starve to death and made her do nothing but work for him (in the game), which I believe introduces a lot of darker elements, I believe. My son said that it wasn't true, that the friend had it confused, but the very fact that I don't know for myself bothers me.Funny thing is my son has been asking for ME to get an account and play with him, which I might if I didn't have a family and a house to take care of.That also tells me that he does WANT to spend time with me doing something he LIKES to do, so I have to think of alternatives that he might enjoy, because I really don't want to contribute to his spending any more time on this thing that he has to. I feel guilty enough already. Sorry so long...therapy session for me.


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## jlrmom

I do like the idea better that he is actually talking with his friends on Skype while playing the game...he does know them from school. It's when he's on with strangers (NOT Skyping!...He's not allowed to) that I really don't like. So maybe just let him play when his actual friends are on...good idea. Thanks!


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## jlrmom

I meant thanks to leafylady


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## leafylady

You're welcome.

Now my son is on a world of warcraft kick, but playing with the same kid he likes to minecraft with. They seem to go through their game phases together. His gaming friend is a long distance friend, from the town where we used to live, so the gaming is the main way that they continue to play together, the only way that they really can play together.

I used to do more gaming with him, (pirates of the caribbean and world of warcraft) but now I'm busier with other things. I've never played Minecraft. If you have time, I recommend setting up a free or trial account and playing just long enough to see what it's all about. Either that or have him play in the kitchen and hover over his shoulder a lot and let him tell you all about it.

My fiance does enjoy gaming and does do some online gaming with my son, when my son isn't playing with his own friends. Gaming is generally more fun when you play with people that you know in real life.


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## OhioMommyofTwo

My son is 7 years old. He became interested in Mindcraft at Thanksgiving last year when we had family visit from out of town. My husband bought an iPad on Black Friday and it's been non-stop Mindcraft ever since. I curse the day it was ever introduced into our home!

We started noticing behavioral changes in January, when he went back to school (Kindergarten). He started having meltdowns and throwing tantrums. He was having trouble controlling impulsive behavior, following directions, and focusing in the classroom. He was diagnosed with ADHD-Inattentive. More recently, I've had him evaluated for Asperger's (not) and sensory processing disorder (affirmative).

My son lives and breathes Mindcraft. He studies YouTube videos, and plays or creates in the game. He would play from dawn to bedtime if I let him. It's almost a year later, and we've decided to ban it from the house. He no longer plays outside, plays with his toys, or has any other interests. This game has completely consumed him. He pitches a fit when he has to go to school, pitches a fit if we have something to do after school or on the weekends. He's been struggling in first grade, now and we've been working with the school intervention team. The school psychologist told me that these games are re-wiring the brains of young children and can actually cause ADHD, because kids get used to having data stream quickly into their brains. Real life is nothing like that. So they can't make the adjustment to receiving data input at life speed. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends limiting all technology to no more than two hours a day. There's a very good reason for that.

I blame my husband and myself for allowing this to happen to our son. Please don't let this happen to your kids. Set limits immediately or just ban it completely. They need to play and have friends and just be kids.


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## John Jackson

I only allow my children to play "Minecraft" on weekends only, otherwise it is too much. The computer

goes off Mon-Fri.


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## mata

How do you rent a server? I would like to do that for my daughter-she goes to someone else's and there are always issues.


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## journeymom




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## mumm

kidcomplainor- any chance you wanna teach a bunch of kids how to do that? Or clueless moms who can help their kids do it? A step by step youtube video for the lost and wandering?? And teach us about mods?


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## kindacrunchy

my son has had screen self-regulation issues his whole life. i limit him. 30 minutes at a time. twice a day. otherwise, he would be on the screen all day long. i have implemented so many things. chores done first, school work done first, token system. token system was great. he was allowed 1 hour of screen a day. 1 hour-4 tokens. If he wanted to play more he had to play outside. 30 minutes of outside time=1 token. pretty much, screen time over an hour must be earned somehow. it helped a lot. good luck!


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## phathui5

I recently put a password on our kids' laptop so that they can't get onto the computer without me logging them on. 12yo ds was spending lots of time on the computer and he started getting up before us in the morning so that he could get in more (unsupervised) computer time, so I felt that it was time for more limits.


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## philomom

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *phathui5*
> 
> I recently put a password on our kids' laptop so that they can't get onto the computer without me logging them on. 12yo ds was spending lots of time on the computer and he started getting up before us in the morning so that he could get in more (unsupervised) computer time, so I felt that it was time for more limits.


Good for you. I've had to set limits on my kids, too.


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## Jade76

My 14yr old son has now been playing Minecraft for quite some time but i didn't worry to much about the time he was spending playing it as I thought like all games he'd get bored of it. THIS GAME IS RUINING MY BOY'S HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All he wants to do all day everyday is play this bloody game. He doesn't leave his room for anything but a shower and a quick snack to stop his stomach from eating itself. He has minimal chores but treats me like the devil when I have to ask EVERYDAY for him to do the things a 2yr could develop a routine for. His friends no longer come over or vise versa anymore cause quote "We play Minecraft on the net". Riding his bike or Penny board are unheard of now, going out to movies or anything really doesn't happen, he ignores his pets, has become a slob, jams towels under his door at night so we can't see any light under the door, sits up till dawn and then tries to sleep all day or if he has school goes in looking like a Zombie and I get phone calls from teachers asking me why he does no homework or pays no attention. He now lies to us and goes behind our backs to play and is basically not the active, happy, honest kid I bought up. I know all teenagers go through stages but this is not a stage it is a game taking over my childs head. Other parents are worried about their kids too and the Nt News felt it nessasary to do a write up in our paper warning parents of the growing amount of parents literally losing their children to the Xbox. I have taken drastic action and band all Xbox, Play Station & PC games from the house indefinantly unless he wants to play the Wii as at least he is being active while doing this or it is something we can do together. To top it off I hear they get free time in one of their classes at school to play games??????????????????????? Even if these kids were at school 20hrs a day they are learning nothing compared to us and when I was 14 it was only 1990. How can these modern day teachers who teach these kids nothing then allow them free time ontop of the nothing they have learnt all day to play games but have the nerve to say we the parents should be doing more from home......I'm a good easy going mum who lives by the old school morals, manners etc....I am in shock that this is happening in my home and so many others and would like to see children reading and writing (so you can read it), playing sport, hanging outside doing all the things that our imaginations gave us when we were young. Kids these days have something to do everything for them or make it easier. Computers are teaching them nothing but laziness. Since when did our A4 writing books do spell checks for us? Children living on FB telling the world every little piece of their lives or someone elses. Lying about anything to get reactions, looking on porn sites at things that we as adults shouldn't even see.......I am a strong woman and I have been through a lot in my life and for the first time ever I am really concerned about what sort of future the younger generation have got. I'd sooner see them live the worst times we've had than watch the generations fall like dominos because technology made them brain dead and unused muscles made them limp. COMPUTERS YOU ARE DOING NOTHING FOR US. Back in the old days writing with pen and paper gave us handwriting we could read. Parents go ask your 10yr old to write you a short story of 100 words on a topic of their choice.......See if anything from the spelling to the handwriting to the topic to the punctuations etc... even slightly compares to what we would have done at the same age. I have been hiring staff for the last 15yrs and I tell you now barely one child in 15yrs has given me an application or a Resume without an error, mispelling or just down right rotton looking handwritng. These are children in years 9-12. In my eyes they shouldn't even be shuffling fries or pushing trolleys until they know how to calculate in their head what they are even getting paid????? Sad that adults who did learn at school rip the kiddies off and slave em......Maybe if your kids are lazy and your not worried bad luck for being a stupid F#*K. Wake up world cause mark my words history repeats and all the skills we got back in the day will get us through the tough times ahead but can your children function with no Google.............Don't know????? Why dont you google it.


----------



## notnowmom

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Jade76*
> 
> My 14yr old son has now been playing Minecraft for quite some time but i didn't worry to much about the time he was spending playing it as I thought like all games he'd get bored of it. THIS GAME IS RUINING MY BOY'S HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All he wants to do all day everyday is play this bloody game. He doesn't leave his room for anything but a shower and a quick snack to stop his stomach from eating itself. He has minimal chores but treats me like the devil when I have to ask EVERYDAY for him to do the things a 2yr could develop a routine for. His friends no longer come over or vise versa anymore cause quote "We play Minecraft on the net". Riding his bike or Penny board are unheard of now, going out to movies or anything really doesn't happen, he ignores his pets, has become a slob, jams towels under his door at night so we can't see any light under the door, sits up till dawn and then tries to sleep all day or if he has school goes in looking like a Zombie and I get phone calls from teachers asking me why he does no homework or pays no attention. He now lies to us and goes behind our backs to play and is basically not the active, happy, honest kid I bought up. I know all teenagers go through stages but this is not a stage it is a game taking over my childs head. Other parents are worried about their kids too and the Nt News felt it nessasary to do a write up in our paper warning parents of the growing amount of parents literally losing their children to the Xbox. I have taken drastic action and band all Xbox, Play Station & PC games from the house indefinantly unless he wants to play the Wii as at least he is being active while doing this or it is something we can do together. To top it off I hear they get free time in one of their classes at school to play games??????????????????????? Even if these kids were at school 20hrs a day they are learning nothing compared to us and when I was 14 it was only 1990. How can these modern day teachers who teach these kids nothing then allow them free time ontop of the nothing they have learnt all day to play games but have the nerve to say we the parents should be doing more from home......I'm a good easy going mum who lives by the old school morals, manners etc....I am in shock that this is happening in my home and so many others and would like to see children reading and writing (so you can read it), playing sport, hanging outside doing all the things that our imaginations gave us when we were young. Kids these days have something to do everything for them or make it easier. Computers are teaching them nothing but laziness. Since when did our A4 writing books do spell checks for us? Children living on FB telling the world every little piece of their lives or someone elses. Lying about anything to get reactions, looking on porn sites at things that we as adults shouldn't even see.......I am a strong woman and I have been through a lot in my life and for the first time ever I am really concerned about what sort of future the younger generation have got. I'd sooner see them live the worst times we've had than watch the generations fall like dominos because technology made them brain dead and unused muscles made them limp. COMPUTERS YOU ARE DOING NOTHING FOR US. Back in the old days writing with pen and paper gave us handwriting we could read. Parents go ask your 10yr old to write you a short story of 100 words on a topic of their choice.......See if anything from the spelling to the handwriting to the topic to the punctuations etc... even slightly compares to what we would have done at the same age. I have been hiring staff for the last 15yrs and I tell you now barely one child in 15yrs has given me an application or a Resume without an error, mispelling or just down right rotton looking handwritng. These are children in years 9-12. In my eyes they shouldn't even be shuffling fries or pushing trolleys until they know how to calculate in their head what they are even getting paid????? Sad that adults who did learn at school rip the kiddies off and slave em......Maybe if your kids are lazy and your not worried bad luck for being a stupid F#*K. Wake up world cause mark my words history repeats and all the skills we got back in the day will get us through the tough times ahead but can your children function with no Google.............Don't know????? Why dont you google it.


I agree, but the whole thing about free time in class is that, I do recall correctly back in the 90s a lot of schools had free time in lower grades. And I do think that the class that lets you play games in their free time, well is probably computer lab. Also they might not play computer games, just board games or something.


----------



## whatsnextmom

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Jade76*
> 
> My 14yr old son has now been playing Minecraft for quite some time but i didn't worry to much about the time he was spending playing it as I thought like all games he'd get bored of it. THIS GAME IS RUINING MY BOY'S HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All he wants to do all day everyday is play this bloody game. He doesn't leave his room for anything but a shower and a quick snack to stop his stomach from eating itself. He has minimal chores but treats me like the devil when I have to ask EVERYDAY for him to do the things a 2yr could develop a routine for. His friends no longer come over or vise versa anymore cause quote "We play Minecraft on the net". Riding his bike or Penny board are unheard of now, going out to movies or anything really doesn't happen, he ignores his pets, has become a slob, jams towels under his door at night so we can't see any light under the door, sits up till dawn and then tries to sleep all day or if he has school goes in looking like a Zombie and I get phone calls from teachers asking me why he does no homework or pays no attention. He now lies to us and goes behind our backs to play and is basically not the active, happy, honest kid I bought up. I know all teenagers go through stages but this is not a stage it is a game taking over my childs head. Other parents are worried about their kids too and the Nt News felt it nessasary to do a write up in our paper warning parents of the growing amount of parents literally losing their children to the Xbox. I have taken drastic action and band all Xbox, Play Station & PC games from the house indefinantly unless he wants to play the Wii as at least he is being active while doing this or it is something we can do together. To top it off I hear they get free time in one of their classes at school to play games??????????????????????? Even if these kids were at school 20hrs a day they are learning nothing compared to us and when I was 14 it was only 1990. How can these modern day teachers who teach these kids nothing then allow them free time ontop of the nothing they have learnt all day to play games but have the nerve to say we the parents should be doing more from home......I'm a good easy going mum who lives by the old school morals, manners etc....I am in shock that this is happening in my home and so many others and would like to see children reading and writing (so you can read it), playing sport, hanging outside doing all the things that our imaginations gave us when we were young. Kids these days have something to do everything for them or make it easier. Computers are teaching them nothing but laziness. Since when did our A4 writing books do spell checks for us? Children living on FB telling the world every little piece of their lives or someone elses. Lying about anything to get reactions, looking on porn sites at things that we as adults shouldn't even see.......I am a strong woman and I have been through a lot in my life and for the first time ever I am really concerned about what sort of future the younger generation have got. I'd sooner see them live the worst times we've had than watch the generations fall like dominos because technology made them brain dead and unused muscles made them limp. COMPUTERS YOU ARE DOING NOTHING FOR US. Back in the old days writing with pen and paper gave us handwriting we could read. Parents go ask your 10yr old to write you a short story of 100 words on a topic of their choice.......See if anything from the spelling to the handwriting to the topic to the punctuations etc... even slightly compares to what we would have done at the same age. I have been hiring staff for the last 15yrs and I tell you now barely one child in 15yrs has given me an application or a Resume without an error, mispelling or just down right rotton looking handwritng. These are children in years 9-12. In my eyes they shouldn't even be shuffling fries or pushing trolleys until they know how to calculate in their head what they are even getting paid????? Sad that adults who did learn at school rip the kiddies off and slave em......Maybe if your kids are lazy and your not worried bad luck for being a stupid F#*K. Wake up world cause mark my words history repeats and all the skills we got back in the day will get us through the tough times ahead but can your children function with no Google.............Don't know????? Why dont you google it.


Wow, lots of emotions here. For starters, what you are describing in your son is less about minecraft and more about being a teenager. It's really not uncommon for 14-year-olds to disappear into their rooms, pull away from family (and even friends) and slack on chores. Teenagers have been irritating their parents ever since we stopped marrying them off at 14.... they don't need a computer to be rebellious, angry, dishonest and lazy... most teenagers are some to all of those things at some point in their teen years just out of basic nature and biology.

I don't agree that kids are learning nothing. Every single generation likes to use the "when I was a kid" line of attack but it's rarely fair. Kids are learning tons and often at earlier ages. My kids started algebra at age 11 while I was 14 (and it was the norm for 9th graders to be taking algebra.) My youngest is on his 3rd language and in a pre-engineering program. My eldest is taking college courses that I didn't take until I was 3 to 4 years older than her. It's true, the younger generation relies less on memorization of facts and more on the ability to find and validate facts. It's NOT easy to weed through the internet for the truth but my kids are pretty darn savvy at it. More so than the adults I know... more so than my parents generation for sure. Teachers aren't soley to blame. How much time have you spent in a classroom lately? I don't know how any teacher manages with the quantity and severity of behavioral issues that come it (and that's about home... not school for the most part.) I have complaints about how children are raised in our culture at this moment but it's US who are to blame. Parents could put limits and don't. They could buy less and don't. They could model continued reading and learning and don't. The quality of care is going down not because parents don't want to be there for their kids but because they need duel incomes and have a budget on what care they can afford.... not everyone is getting the best.

Media only has as much control as you give it. For us, we limited TV and computers heavily in the elementary years. The kids averaged maybe 2 hours of combined screen time a week through 6th grade and because they were busy with theatre, sports and other activities, they never even asked for it. We didn't bring a game system outside the computer until my youngest was 10 (a Wii) and we have strict rules on what sorts of games can be in the house. If they cross lines with technology, then we take it away until they can handle it better. At 15 and 12, the kids do average more screen time than they used to but the Wii goes months between uses. DS 12 does all his math online so that he can progress at his own rate (supervised by a teacher at school.) Both kids type all their papers, do their research and do many of their presentations with the use of the computer. DS 12 loves minecraft and I'd say he plays a good 5 hours a week now... mostly on weekends but it doesn't bother me. He's creating and thinking. He's interacting with friends. When it gets too much, me or one of the other moms grabs up their group and takes them to the beach or something active. They still manage to have lots of fun outside the computer too. My kids are well educated, mannered and competent.... and still drive me crazy at times.

I applaud you for re-evaluating your situation with your son. I hope it has the effect you desire. Personally though, I know a ton of wonderful kids who are growing into wonderful adults I'm happy to had the world to. Its not technology that is wrecking kids... it's the absence of us and their filling the absence with computers that's the issue.


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## notalone

We are happy to find out that we are not alone. We were sure it was just our parent parinoia. Reading the different posts was kind of weird, in a sense, since we could relate to most of the discussions. It is a fine balance between enjoying a game and then crossing over to addictive behaviours. Minecraft is definitely an enabler of addictive personality traits. It fuels addiction and, we are convinced, is very dangerous. In our case it is our 14 year old son. The details are very similar to what we have read. We now also know that our 11 year old girl also plays Mincraft. We made bad decisions to provide, over time, access to ipod touches and four laptop computers...we have five kids !!!! Our concern is that they will all get hooked!!! This really caught us by surprise.

my wife and I have been taliking about this issue for some time but just now, new ear and all, did we decide to reach out on the Net to see if there were, in fact, other parents struggling with the same issues.. Well, of course, and unfortunately, it did not take long to find this blog. So now we need to start to consider drastic actions starting with our 14 year old. Tough pa is that his agressive bevaiour has been magnified over the lat few months and now we now why. Our concern is his reaction but that is what parnting is about. We need to take action. We will keep ou posted.


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## 4evermom

Swedish school imposes compulsory Minecraft class for 13 yos.









http://www.gizmag.com/compulsory-minecraft-lessons/25781/

"Video games don't have to teach reading, writing or arithmetic to be educational. There's a strong argument that the best examples wear their educational merits lightly."

"They learn about city planning, environmental issues, getting things done, and even how to plan for the future," Viktor Rydberg teacher Monica Ekman told English-language The Local.


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## journeymom

Oh good lord, don't let my son know.


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## janine99

We've had the same problem with our son as well. When we banned him from the computer he would sit and sulk. He stayed in bed to the exclusion of his friends, not wanting to play outside. When he was up he would just sit and stare at a wall, not interacting with anyone. For all intents and purposes it would look like depression.
In the end we handles this by placing him on a mat which emits a pulsed magnetic field for eight minutes. (Dr. Oz did a program on it in 2011 regarding pain relief and arthritis). The results were astounding. Right after he came out and began arguing with everyone. Not that he was any happier but he was certainly much more animated. He even went outside to play. It makes you wonder what kind of side-effects these video games have.


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## JalilCheese

Hey guys, I looked up something to do with MC (minecraft don't ya know ) on google and it came up with this thread, so i took a look and its quite interesting. So i joined up! But I'm a 13 yo who plays A LOT of minecraft, and looking at what others have said, I can see where you're coming from. Minecraft is a fantastic game (SWEDISH KIDS GET MC LESSONS? WHAT IS THIS DARK MAGIC) and I would recommend it to anyone. But! It does kinda take over your life a bit. I am keeping up quite well with hmwk, music practice, and i do do a lot of chores, but, my two friends (m, 13 & 11) have been totally changed by minecraft. They don't play outside, when I come over, all we do is play MC. And its cool for a few hours, but after a while? Even me (and i'm completely addicted) gets tired of it. Not to mention the swearing and the rudeness that they've taken on from the servers they've been playing on.

I don't want to give anyone the wrong idea, however, especially about servers. They are great for socialising, and although there are a few complete wierdos I've met in the past, I've been able to deal with them very well I think. So private or whitelisted (you have to be invited to join them) are great for playing MC with your friends, but I much prefer the larger public servers, cos if you have luck, you just might meet some amazing people, like I have. Just monitor you're kid's skype and/or teamspeak. S'all I'm sayin.

Anyway, my point is really, DON'T LET YOUR KID GET COMPLETELY OBSESSED. Try to make them remember that MC is a game? That's all it is. Cos when they start taking it too seriously, you have a problem. And shove them outside on a bike once in a while. But most importantly, try and see if they are juggling real life and MC well, doing hmwk, whatever, cos when MC is more important, its intervention time >.

-TheBlob


----------



## DHinJersey

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Jade76*
> 
> My 14yr old son has now been playing Minecraft for quite some time but i didn't worry to much about the time he was spending playing it as I thought like all games he'd get bored of it. THIS GAME IS RUINING MY BOY'S HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All he wants to do all day everyday is play this bloody game. He doesn't leave his room for anything but a shower and a quick snack to stop his stomach from eating itself. He has minimal chores but treats me like the devil when I have to ask EVERYDAY for him to do the things a 2yr could develop a routine for. His friends no longer come over or vise versa anymore cause quote "We play Minecraft on the net". Riding his bike or Penny board are unheard of now, going out to movies or anything really doesn't happen, he ignores his pets, has become a slob, jams towels under his door at night so we can't see any light under the door, sits up till dawn and then tries to sleep all day or if he has school goes in looking like a Zombie and I get phone calls from teachers asking me why he does no homework or pays no attention. He now lies to us and goes behind our backs to play and is basically not the active, happy, honest kid I bought up. I know all teenagers go through stages but this is not a stage it is a game taking over my childs head. Other parents are worried about their kids too and the Nt News felt it nessasary to do a write up in our paper warning parents of the growing amount of parents literally losing their children to the Xbox. I have taken drastic action and band all Xbox, Play Station & PC games from the house indefinantly unless he wants to play the Wii as at least he is being active while doing this or it is something we can do together. To top it off I hear they get free time in one of their classes at school to play games??????????????????????? Even if these kids were at school 20hrs a day they are learning nothing compared to us and when I was 14 it was only 1990. How can these modern day teachers who teach these kids nothing then allow them free time ontop of the nothing they have learnt all day to play games but have the nerve to say we the parents should be doing more from home......I'm a good easy going mum who lives by the old school morals, manners etc....I am in shock that this is happening in my home and so many others and would like to see children reading and writing (so you can read it), playing sport, hanging outside doing all the things that our imaginations gave us when we were young. Kids these days have something to do everything for them or make it easier. Computers are teaching them nothing but laziness. Since when did our A4 writing books do spell checks for us? Children living on FB telling the world every little piece of their lives or someone elses. Lying about anything to get reactions, looking on porn sites at things that we as adults shouldn't even see.......I am a strong woman and I have been through a lot in my life and for the first time ever I am really concerned about what sort of future the younger generation have got. I'd sooner see them live the worst times we've had than watch the generations fall like dominos because technology made them brain dead and unused muscles made them limp. COMPUTERS YOU ARE DOING NOTHING FOR US. Back in the old days writing with pen and paper gave us handwriting we could read. Parents go ask your 10yr old to write you a short story of 100 words on a topic of their choice.......See if anything from the spelling to the handwriting to the topic to the punctuations etc... even slightly compares to what we would have done at the same age. I have been hiring staff for the last 15yrs and I tell you now barely one child in 15yrs has given me an application or a Resume without an error, mispelling or just down right rotton looking handwritng. These are children in years 9-12. In my eyes they shouldn't even be shuffling fries or pushing trolleys until they know how to calculate in their head what they are even getting paid????? Sad that adults who did learn at school rip the kiddies off and slave em......Maybe if your kids are lazy and your not worried bad luck for being a stupid F#*K. Wake up world cause mark my words history repeats and all the skills we got back in the day will get us through the tough times ahead but can your children function with no Google.............Don't know????? Why dont you google it.


Said by every older generation about the next generation since the beginning of human history. The next generation will be just fine.


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## GradysMom

My 6 yr old has had to have some one month black outs of Minecraft to get over the taking it so dang seriously issues... temper tantrums and crying when he "died". He would want to play with monsters and then not... and for while he didn't ask for it. but here is the thing

I play it to as does a 10 extended family member and we get together and kind plan and bond over it... and because our families have similar rules we rarely abuse our time on it. It is a pretty easy thing to play for 2-3 hours and barely finish any of your plans... but I find a binge beyond that creates some really emotional kids.

We have loads to talk about and research new ideas on the computer... it has helped me bridge the generation gap. In my experience this game needs active absolute limits. Time windows, count downs to time it gets turned off... and snacks while they play... glasses of water shoved in their face... and when it is off that is it for the day. They have to go think of something else...

But I'll admit I play it late at night as my me time thing.


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## Dawne -Kornhaas

PHEW! I am so glad I am not alone! My 13 year old loves Minecraft and will play it all day if I am not watching. He also doesn't get together with his friends at their home (or mine) anymore but they connect on Minecraft. I like the concept of Minecraft I just wish he wouldn't play for so long. He likes to build things and before Minecraft he was building with Legos and was a lego freak.

It did get in the way of homework, so I had to put limits on it that he can't play it until homework is complete but now he has an x box and can play it online through the x box.


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## sillymom44

My 10 year old discovered Minecraft this year and both he and my 6 year old play it. Internet, video games, and TV have never been a problem in our house b/c we imposed limits from day 1. There has never been a time when they had unlimited access to screens and that has worked well for us b/c there are never any arguments or problems. They are allowed 30 minutes twice a day (once in morning and once in evening) of screen time during the week as long as all homework and chores are done and a little more on the weekend depending on what our schedule is. They play outside every day and most of the weekend if weather allows. They are awesome kids, so I know that they'll be OK 

I hate video games, minecraft, etc... I grew up with a hippie mom and we didn't have TV until I was 15 or 16. Anyway-- I have realized that as long as they are not addicted, it's fine (and as long as it's age appropriate). I love facebook, mothering.com, blogs, etc... So I understand why my boys like Minecraft.


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## ACarter

I'm inclined to agree with your husband, at least for right now. If it's the winter and he's being respectful and keeping up with his responsibilities why not let him play? I'm sure he'll get sick of it eventually if he keeps playing as much as he is and then it'll be on to the next thing. Once the spring rolls around I would agree you might want to pry him away from the computer and get him outside once in a while.


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## JamieCatheryn

My 6 year old is addicted too and the 3 year old goes along with it. We restrict him to 2 hrs a day on computer or ipad to do whatever he wants with it (within reason), plus maybe some multiplayer minecraft or xbox football on weekends if his dad or I want to play with him. He talks about it and thinks about it a lot when not even playing though, it's kind of freaky to me. It was plants vs zombies before that and this has more variety and creativity, I do like that. At age 13 I was addicted to the mmorpg Ultima Online for almost a year (playing many hours each day) and found the best way to get off it was explore crafts in the real world that the game got me interested in: chainmail armor making, attending medieval re-enactment stuff, herbalism, etc, and join communities of those who also did these things. So I'm trying to introduce some things similar for Minecraft to real world: building stuff with wood pallets, with snow, with dirt, with rocks, farming, metalurgy, fighting with padded swords, geology, maybe one day hunting/trapping. In my experience that kind of thing works great as a teen when you have the autonomy and dexterity to really take on projects without a lot of parental help, particularly larger building and crafting projects and anything a bit dangerous. It's more limited with my 6 year old.


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## JAG100

My wife & I have limited the playing of Minecraft to weekends only for our two young boys:

Please be aware of the dangers of Multiplayer. Most of the servers do not use extensive language and cyberbullying filters and the nastiness and language is appauling. More and more parents are beginning to wake up and realize what they are allowing their children to be exposed to.

As a concerned parent, I have created an alternative multiplayer server at this address: myncraft.no-ip.org

Outside of the game you can read more about this at www.facebook.com/myncraft

Our server features an extensive set of language and cyber bullying filters to create a much safer environment both for children, who are sick of the nastiness, and also for parents who do not wish to expose their children to the same.

Warm Regards,

Joseph Gray
Concerned Parent


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## journeymom

Yes, dh created a separate server for ds and his friends to use. Just safer and more fun for everyone.


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## yourtheparent

I think it's sad and wrong to let kids sit and punch a screen over any other activities. I've seen my neighbor quit soccer and basketball ( he was 11) and get fat. It's easy to just let your kid stay on that thing as long as they are rushing through their duties.. Just to get back. Sure it's a typical 21 st century kid thing, but is that good? Why are all these parents okay with their kids plugged into a virtual world instead of living in the real one. There are a lot of future consequences to this. I feel parents today wanna do the easy thing. If more parents said no, there would be more kids at the park playing or in the neighborhood playing. Eventually the neighbor kids mom took away video game privileges during the week and the fat boy was forced to ride his bike, his scooter and finally shoot some baskets with my son who was the only kid outside.


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## JamieCatheryn

While it is addictive, it can be possible to achieve a balance. And it doesn't have to be scheduling them to death with organized sports either. One of my boys is all muscle and the middle one is rail thin (and the baby is fat but young bf babies are supposed to be  ). They use games most days, watch shows sometimes, minecraft is a convenient outlet for creativity, and involves learning some logic and practicing reading too. Having the chance to run around outside with other kids or with their parents most every day is important too, or better yet do some engaging physical work. Also more than anything it's the kinds of foods available that contribute to healthy bodies, you only gain weight if you eat more calories than you burn, and that's almost impossible with whole foods to eat and water to drink.


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## mama4times

Oh My, I read this post and it sure hits home! I have 4 teen and preteen boys who all LOVE Minecraft and a husband who develops video games, No getting away from it here...lol, But I have to point out some positive things about it, My kids have been building legos since they were babies and I can look at this game as a building type game... They create their worlds and build very cool elaborate buildings and sceens. This game got one of my sons to research castles and he has built some amazing castles in his world, last year he had a class and they did a unit on vikings, and he built several viking ships and took screen shots of them and took them in for extra credit, pretty cool.... One of my other boys built an interactive level that had history questions and when they answered the right one they got to go down a correct path, and had rewards, for a history class, and got an A on the project... I am not saying they don't have to have some moderation, but my kids do sports and play music and I feel this just adds to their extracurricular activities, if grade slip, so does the fun... the advice about the online is good, can't control the outside world, we have our own server and the kids invite their friends to join, my DH also has a filter and can moniter the chatting so the boys cant swear or destroy hard, time consuming things they have built... I think the punishment is a jail, that they built and if they do something bad in the game their character gets jailed on an island for 12 hours.... pretty funny, the sign outside the jail says you have been jailed for being offensive... That way It is easier to reprimand other peoples kids, without being too offensive ourselves.... just wanted to shed a light on some positive aspects of the game...good luck


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## vlad94

Hello everyone, im new to the forum. The reason I'm here is because I was doing a research on Minecraft addictions and so I found this forum. My son is 8 years old and I've become concerned about the addiction he's creating to this minecraft game. He used to play other games on PS3 and watch TV but he quit everything and it's becoming isolated into this game. He wants to eat and do everything in front of this game. He's losing interest on everything. The game itself doesn't have any violence but my concern is that he's not switching and on the future he could easily become easilyt become addicted to something and not able to overcome the situation. Any advice?


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## 4evermom

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *vlad94*
> 
> Hello everyone, im new to the forum. The reason I'm here is because I was doing a research on Minecraft addictions and so I found this forum. My son is 8 years old and I've become concerned about the addiction he's creating to this minecraft game. He used to play other games on PS3 and watch TV but he quit everything and it's becoming isolated into this game. He wants to eat and do everything in front of this game. He's losing interest on everything. The game itself doesn't have any violence but my concern is that he's not switching and on the future he could easily become easilyt become addicted to something and not able to overcome the situation. Any advice?


He's not switching back to PS games, not because Minecraft is more addictive, but because it is a vastly more interesting and complicated game than anything on the PS. It's like complaining that a child is reading War and Peace instead of variety of picture books. Another way to look at it is your son is developing a greater attention span and the ability to focus. Going from a PS game to Minecraft is like going from watching Sesame Street to watching full length movies


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## 4evermom

double post


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## PamelaMassey

I am all for creative games like this bc they are learning hand eye coordination, problem solving, concentration & creativity while being able to socialize & make new friends. My husband has been playing game systems since he was a child (now 31) & may now be an addict. The days he's off work (he's an EMT & works 3 24 hr shifts a week) he wakes up, straight to his xbox 360 playing an online game & stays there till he comes to bed. He usually cooks supper so he's up & down playing the game while doing that. I'm not bashing these games at all, my 6 yr old did much better in school this yr after we got him an xbox ie: concentration, hand eye coordination, etc. Just wanted to share my experience as a possible look into the future. I limit my children on electronics & encourage outside play daily (unless it's raining, but that's what board games are for)


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## stressedmom

My 12 yo daughter is addicted. I had no idea how bad it was...I thought she was just having hormones age, crying, tired, homework issues...But I found her a couple of times late at night 10:30pm with iPod and this week on computer playing... I think she isn't sleeping. When she has had computer homework assignments she would not complete them and would play MC and tell mom and dad she did her computer assignment for school. I stripped the programs off the computers, I bought a computer monitoring and restrictive program, kids watch.com I hope we can straighten this out. Any other suggestions helpful. I just can't believe this...I am so very stressed and upset...


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## PamelaMassey

Set certain hours for daily game playing, TV time, reading time, outside play, etc. like a schedule. Be consistent with your schedule. I find it helpful to say like...there's 30 min left, 20 min left, 10, 5, 3 & 1. It will be hard implementing a schedule but after standing your ground & not giving in to crying, the 2nd day is much easier than the 1st. They learn to expect it & the kids I'm babysitting now think it's cool to set an alarm. Like for quiet time they listen for the alarm & know it's over. Or you could say no gaming till after or before supper. There's a couple different options to handle the situation. Remember the key to parenting is always be consistent with what you say & enforce punishment if need be. Like if you let her play 3 hrs a day & she fusses about only getting 3 hrs, you could day....you just lost an hr for back talking. It's ok to reward kids & let them earn it back for good behavior, like not fussing again. Hope this helps you at all. My oldest turns 13 next month so I know 12 yr old girls can be very challenging.


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## journeymom

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *stressedmom*
> 
> My 12 yo daughter is addicted. I had no idea how bad it was...I thought she was just having hormones age, crying, tired, homework issues...But I found her a couple of times late at night 10:30pm with iPod and this week on computer playing... I think she isn't sleeping. When she has had computer homework assignments she would not complete them and would play MC and tell mom and dad she did her computer assignment for school. I stripped the programs off the computers, I bought a computer monitoring and restrictive program, kids watch.com I hope we can straighten this out. Any other suggestions helpful. I just can't believe this...I am so very stressed and upset...


Hey Stressedmom, it's been a week, hope you and your dd are doing okay. Pamela has great, practical suggestions there.

I'll just add that generally, 12 years old can be difficult for children (not to mention parents!). Your daughter maybe would have had the same problem being honest about her school assignments even without the draw of computer games. 33 years ago I was having the same problems getting finished, and being honest with my mom (and myself) about it. But instead of playing on the computer when I was supposed to be doing homework, I was reading books.

My kids are 18 years old and almost 14 years old. Both of them responded to the huge increased academic load dumped on them in 6th and 7th grade by withdrawing, and lying about finishing the assignments. But they were lying to themselves before they were lying to me. This was their way of coping. Don't take it personally. It's not okay, but do not get stressed out. It is in the range of normal. In my opinion, this is about two important things: saying goodbye to carefree childhood, and managing the sheer amount of stuff in their binders and back packs along with learning how to keep track of assignments from 5 or 6 different teachers. Your daughter is probably eventually going to get a better handle on the second one with time. Let her experiment with planners and organizers to find what works for her. My kids both found 8th grade was quite a bit easier than 7th grade. The first part is a little more esoteric, but frankly I think it's more important. Make sure your dd's life has some balance. None of us, including parents, should go without regular down time, and real, honest fun. No one wants to grow up if it means never having fun again.

Quote:


> It's ok to reward kids & let them earn it back for good behavior, like not fussing again.


Definitely. I'd let your dd have Minecraft, but put limits on it.

Edited to add, take a look at this:

http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/2010.html

Please ignore the adhd part. I think it's irrelevant. This is helpful for all kinds of kids.


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## Sunny Sherlock

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Super Pickle*
> 
> We enrolled our 11 year old in K12 this year, and they sent us a personal computer( we already had a laptop, but it was not for game playing). Anyway, my 11 and 8 year old sons asked for Minecraft for Christmas. We thought it looked like a cool game and got it for them, with the stipulation that the 8 yo not use the multi-player function and that the 11 yo only chat with neighborhood friends.
> I do see the attraction of the game, and I see the potential for lots of fun and creativity. My concern is that it is becoming addicting. The 11 yo is agreeable enough that if I ask him respectfully to come do such-and-such, he will turn off Minecraft and do it, but he rarely does anything else on his own initiative. He doesn't even go to his neighborhood friends' houses anymore to play. I'll suggest that he go invite so-and-so over, and he replies that he's already playing with so-and-so on Minecraft. He hurries through his schoolwork and instrument practice so he can get to playing on the computer. Now, it is cold outside, and I'm not one of those "Out in any weather" type people. I was born in the South and live in the Midwest now, so to me, winter is indoor season. The computer goes back in June, at the end of the school year, but I am just not sure how to approach things until then. My husband thinks I should just let him play as long as he is keeping up with school, his music, and his sport. I feel that there is something wrong with being on the computer every time you have a second of free time.
> 
> Does anyone else have this problem? How have you handled it?


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## Sunny Sherlock

I'm a learning specialist and educational therapist for K-8. I work with kids in school and in my private practice. I've never seen such a dramatic impact on kids as minecraft and other video games. For those of you who think it's harmless because of there is no violence just let your kid play it for a month or two. It is as bad as drugs for teenagers. Think about it. Does this sound like an addiction to you? Wake up and don't want to go to school, especially on Mondays, after playing all weekend. Could use it as a bribe for just about anything. You kid is thinking and talking about it at school during lunch and recess on a daily basis. Your kid can't wait until school is over because they might be able to play. Your kid would choose minecraft over just about any other daily activity. Your kid begs to play. Your kid goes into a trance and can't hear you talking to them, often not responding. Your kid gets very cranky when you tell him or her to stop playing and when you don't allow them to play. Pretty soon your kid doesn't want to do school work, or read, or even play with neighborhood friends. And, when they get older, they want to move onto more intense video games. I have seen kids who think about it first thing in the morning, all day at school, and obsess over playing it after school. I know it sounds extreme, but some of these kids end up in therapy, basically because of minecraft. But the true test of addiction? Try taking it away.


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## journeymom

Please check out the school in Sweden with a mandatory Minecraft class.

http://www.edudemic.com/2013/01/this-swedish-school-now-has-a-mandatory-minecraft-class/

Quote:


> I know it sounds extreme, but some of these kids end up in therapy, basically because of minecraft.


This logic is false. Or, I doubt it has been proven to be true. Prove that Minecraft alone is causing these children to end up in therapy. Correlation does not equal causation. My hunch, based upon accumulated wisdom, is that the majority of children play Minecraft without requiring therapy. Just like most people can drink alcohol without spiraling into problematic behavior, some people are predisposed to addiction. It's more likely that children in therapy with an addiction to Minecraft have significant other psychological, physiological and developmental problems. These issues cause a range of problems that impact a child's daily life, of which a Minecraft addiction is only one.

It's been 15 months since I first posted here when my son was in the thick of it. For a while Minecraft is what he and his friends talked about at lunch time, it's what they texted each other about, and his friends all played on the server his dad created for him. He's almost 14 y.o. now and it's been weeks since he last played MC, and his most intense phase was over probably 5 months ago. He most certainly has *not* moved on to increasingly intense and violent games. What he talks about perpetually, to the point that sometimes I want to scream, is Homestuck, Doctor Who, and g-d damn My Little Pony. He skypes with his friends and that's what they all talk about. He has not moved on to Grand Theft Auto or any of the other more controversial games whose names I can't think of, because they're not in our lives.

Moderation in everything.

Edited lots of times as my thoughts developed.


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## 4evermom

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Sunny Sherlock*
> 
> I'm a learning specialist and educational therapist for K-8. I work with kids in school and in my private practice. I've never seen such a dramatic impact on kids as minecraft and other video games. For those of you who think it's harmless because of there is no violence just let your kid play it for a month or two. It is as bad as drugs for teenagers.


Oh my:-D My son has been playing Minecraft for years. He has been playing for so long, not because he is addicted, but because it is a very open ended and interesting game that is constantly being modified by the players. It is always changing and evolving. And he will stop to do other things because he knows he can play it whenever he wants. Severely restricting something interesting is the best method to ensure someone will obsess over it. Kids who *know* they can play are going to be able to think of other things than those poor manipulated kids you speak of who spend the day wondering if they "might" be able to play.

I don't know of many kids who are eager to go to school Monday mornings. Honestly, I'd be a bit more worried about the ones that do after the newness and charm of kindergarten has worn off. Why haven't they realized school is full of busy work yet?


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## 4evermom

As my son was typing messages to others while playing Minecraft, just now, I was remembering how instrumental games like this have been for his learning to read, type, spell, and do calculations...


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## Super Pickle

Well, my son who was 11 when I started this thread doesn't do too much Minecraft anymore. He went back to public school in the fall and has been so busy with school and activities that he kind of forgot about it. My younger son who is now 10 is currently really into it, and I have changed my approach. Instead of just starting from the assumption that this is BAD because it's a computer game, and I'm prejudiced against electronics and gamers, I am trying to be open to the possibility that there is a reason for his drive to play Minecraft that is similar to the drive of my four year old to cut paper for hours on end or my 18 month old to drop coins into the piggy bank, empty it, and drop the coins in again, over and over. Maybe it satisfies some inner need for development. I even watched over his shoulder for a while this morning and rubbed his back. He appreciated my taking an interest (if feigned). When I need him to stop to go somewhere or do something, I ask politely, and give him a chance to come to a stopping point, and I expect him to wrap it up as quickly as possible and come pleasantly. And I have stopped being mad that he doesn't just come up with something else to do on his own. I am trying to provide those other experiences, or remind him of other things he likes doing, like papercraft or drawing.


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## Kristine233

All three of mine play minecraft, but my son plays the most. He has Autism and I find that he socially comes out of his shell so much more while playing on MC. He talks to his friends over the mic (Xbox 360) and he really gets into it. They create giants worlds, work together and have to problem solve. When people ask what minecraft is I explain that its like digital Legos, only more. Our stipulation is that when we say its time to turn it off, there is no fighting. All chores get done first and its played in my office, not in his bedroom.


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## journeymom

Quote:


> its like digital Legos, only more.


 Ooohh! I like that!


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## janine99

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Sunny Sherlock*
> 
> I'm a learning specialist and educational therapist for K-8. I work with kids in school and in my private practice. I've never seen such a dramatic impact on kids as minecraft and other video games. For those of you who think it's harmless because of there is no violence just let your kid play it for a month or two. It is as bad as drugs for teenagers. Think about it. Does this sound like an addiction to you? Wake up and don't want to go to school, especially on Mondays, after playing all weekend. Could use it as a bribe for just about anything. You kid is thinking and talking about it at school during lunch and recess on a daily basis. Your kid can't wait until school is over because they might be able to play. Your kid would choose minecraft over just about any other daily activity. Your kid begs to play. Your kid goes into a trance and can't hear you talking to them, often not responding. Your kid gets very cranky when you tell him or her to stop playing and when you don't allow them to play. Pretty soon your kid doesn't want to do school work, or read, or even play with neighborhood friends. And, when they get older, they want to move onto more intense video games. I have seen kids who think about it first thing in the morning, all day at school, and obsess over playing it after school. I know it sounds extreme, but some of these kids end up in therapy, basically because of minecraft. But the true test of addiction? Try taking it away.


This is the type of behavior I am noticing. How would you describe it? Anhedonia? neurovegetative? It almost looks like clinical depression without the depressed mood.

My theory is that the geometric shapes (cubes) flashing at 15 hz is coded from the visual cortex then distributed to the rest of the brain by the association cortex. The cubes are quickly recognized as the brain has patterns encoded for geometric objects. This alpha-wave frequency interrupts the sleep/wake cycle and thereby depresses neurotransmitter levels. No data. Just hypothesis. Regardless, the effects are well described by people here.


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## journeymom

Quote:


> This alpha-wave frequency interrupts the sleep/wake cycle


Sleep/wake cycle interrupting resulting in sleep problems? Is that what you mean? So these children would stay up late or sleep late or just generally be sleepy, or grumpy or manic or whatnot?

That very well may be true. My own son, however, didn't experience sleep problems when he was still playing Minecraft. He's my best sleeper. Goes to bed and gets up when he needs to. It's amazing, really.

He definitely has mood issues when he sits at a screen for too long. He gets squirrely and pushy.

Plus, sleep 'experts' will tell you to avoid looking at bright lights after dark when you're trying to sleep. That light is too stimulating for your brain.


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## 4evermom

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *janine99*
> 
> This is the type of behavior I am noticing. How would you describe it? Anhedonia? neurovegetative? It almost looks like clinical depression without the depressed mood.


It's called being absorbed in something interesting, exactly like my mom when she is reading a book.


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## rilmol mom

We have no electronic Sunday at our house- go to the park, read a book made out of paper, go for a bike ride, or play a board game--- no computer, ipod,ds,kindle, or tv before 7 pm--- try it

btw my kids are also minecraft addicts


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## mumofaspiesam

Hi

Well guess im in the minority here but I do believe the addiction some children have to this is a problem.

I have a son with apergers who is 8, 9 tomorrow who pays this game at the exclusion of lots of other things.... He will choose this over any going out opportunity, and chooses only friends who 'play the game' to come over... He, like many children with AS has addictions and this has become one... to the extent he will sneak down in the night to go on it.

I was initially so grateful that he was engaging with other kids through the interactive approach this game provides, but now with I had never seen it....Previously lego was his addiction and I was much happier with this.... even the noise of this game winds me up and I realise some of the language and potential bullying online with this is a big issue...

I am not sure how I go about sorting this problem, because if he is addicted, in a way I have been the dealer... I would like to wean him off... but I honestly know this is going to be difficult.... I would strongly advise against buying this for any child who has compulsive disorders, and had I known how addictive it was going to become, and therefore in our household, life limiting....I would have definitely walked past the shop..

This game is also very frustrating, and its no good saying half an hr a day as the get onto a level and need to save it...

Some of you may think my views are extreme,and I know there will be children who can take it or leave it, but I also suspect for some of you my story resonates with one of your own x


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## journeymom

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *mumofaspiesam*
> 
> Hi
> 
> Well guess im in the minority here but I do believe the addiction some children have to this is a problem.
> 
> I have a son with apergers who is 8, 9 tomorrow who pays this game at the exclusion of lots of other things.... He will choose this over any going out opportunity, and chooses only friends who 'play the game' to come over... He, like many children with AS has addictions and this has become one... to the extent *he will sneak down in the night to go on it.*
> 
> I was initially so grateful that he was engaging with other kids through the interactive approach this game provides, but now with I had never seen it....Previously lego was his addiction and I was much happier with this.... *even the noise of this game winds me up* and I *realise some of the language and potential bullying online with this is a big issue...*
> 
> I am not sure how I go about sorting this problem, because if he is addicted, in a way I have been the dealer... *I would like to wean him off... but I honestly know this is going to be difficult....* I would strongly advise against buying this for any child who has compulsive disorders, and had I known how addictive it was going to become, and therefore in our household, life limiting....I would have definitely walked past the shop..
> 
> This game is also very frustrating, and its no good saying half an hr a day as the get onto a level and need to save it...
> 
> Some of you may think my views are extreme,and I know there will be children who can take it or leave it, but I also suspect for some of you my story resonates with one of your own x


Language and bullying -are any of the other kids that play online friends with him in real life? If so, you can put the game on a private server for him and trusted friends to play on. They're still playing together over the internet, just not with God Know Who Else. Yes, it probably means starting over with stats and stuff accumulated and so on.

Sneaking down at night -make the computer password protected. For a while our kids had to ask us to sign them on to use the computer at all.

Noise -get him headphones. Your stress will go down quite a bit.

He's 9 y.o, he's going to outgrow Minecraft eventually. He'll move on to something else that needs regulating as well, but you'll cross that bridge when you get to it.

Your views aren't extreme at all. I struggle to help ds, who doesn't want to be helped, to get off the computer and go use his brain some other way. He gets hyper focused to some extent. Regulating screen time is a problem with my kids (and to a lesser extent with dh and me as well). Obviously your son is experiencing the same thing to a much greater extent. Yes, there is something about the game that is very engaging and stimulating. It plugs right in to his brain.

The best solution might be to simply remove the game. Which I imagine could be mighty upsetting. Honestly, you might get some good advice in the special needs forum! The ladies there have a wealth of information, as well as been-there, done-that sympathy.

I'm not happy at all with how the internet, television, digital games and everything have taken over our whole lives, particularly our children's lives. There are unforeseen consequences to this. We struggle along as best we can, though.


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## MicheleLea

Hahaha, my ten year old is HOOKED. It's the same as the OP. His life forever changed when he discovered minecraft. I can't say I like it, but we are at that point now that if I tell him to get off and do something else he just goes to a friends house and plays. I give up, lol. He's smart, does his school work (he is homeschooled now) so I am trying to approach it differently. I even did a search and it looks like Minecraft can be a good educational game because they are basically doing CAD. Look up CAD. I forget what it stands for, but basically it's computer engineering.


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## katpat23

I used to hear that Minecraft was just harmless fun, too, and also put in the proviso that the children played only on the home computer and not on-line with others (besides security issues, they become unhappy that things are going on in the Minecraft world while they're not logged in, and it makes them very distracted and agitated).

But is it harmless?

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!

My 10-year-old has been setting his alarm for 2 am and sneaking down in the night to watch videos about Minecraft, and to play the game. Despite its friendly appearance of just something to create a world, it is terribly, terribly addicting, especially to a boy's brain and its biological design.

You see, computer games stimulate a part of their brains that induce pleasure. This is a different area than girls' brains are stimulated with they play computer games.

For us at the moment, we haven't removed Minecraft entirely. Because the son is vehemently denying that he has been the person on the computer at 2 am, and we have no definitive proof as to who it was, we have simply put in a place a lot security barriers like having Minecraft on only my user name (with a unique password that only I know), and putting time limits on my son's use of the computer via the security settings of Windows 7.

If I had to do it all again, I wouldn't buy this game. It really is taking up my children's head space when rather I'd like them to be creative in the real world.


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## meemee

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *katpat23*
> 
> I used to hear that Minecraft was just harmless fun, too, and also put in the proviso that the children played only on the home computer and not on-line with others (besides security issues, they become unhappy that things are going on in the Minecraft world while they're not logged in, and it makes them very distracted and agitated).
> 
> But is it harmless?
> 
> NOOOOOOOO!!!!!
> 
> My 10-year-old has been setting his alarm for 2 am and sneaking down in the night to watch videos about Minecraft, and to play the game. Despite its friendly appearance of just something to create a world, it is terribly, terribly addicting, especially to a boy's brain and its biological design.
> 
> You see, computer games stimulate a part of their brains that induce pleasure. This is a different area than girls' brains are stimulated with they play computer games.
> 
> For us at the moment, we haven't removed Minecraft entirely. Because the son is vehemently denying that he has been the person on the computer at 2 am, and we have no definitive proof as to who it was, we have simply put in a place a lot security barriers like having Minecraft on only my user name (with a unique password that only I know), and putting time limits on my son's use of the computer via the security settings of Windows 7.
> 
> If I had to do it all again, I wouldn't buy this game. It really is taking up my children's head space when rather I'd like them to be creative in the real world.


well... lets replace game/minecraft with books adn that was me at 10. sneaking under the covers, hiding the book under my mattress and having a flashlight at night with scarfs along the crack of the door so my parents couldnt see the light.

yeah i was totally addicted to books. at 8 during summer holidays my dd has spent the whole night reading.

nowadays she is not allowed to read a favourite book or new book at bedtime. it wakes her up.


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## turtlexdaka

Well my daughter is not addicted to Minecraft, but i only let her play if her homework is complete and her school gradesare above 90%.


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## journeymom

Well this is pretty good:

http://www.npr.org/2013/10/20/238095806/when-playing-video-games-means-sitting-on-lifes-sidelines?utm_content=socialflow&utm_campaign=nprfacebook&utm_source=npr&utm_medium=facebook


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## ancoda

My sons all love Minecraft, but they have a limit of 1 hour a day mon-fri for the older two and 40 min a day for the youngest one. They get a little longer on Saturday if they have done their chores well during the week and if we do not have anything fun planned for the day. They do not get any Minecraft on Sunday. I think it has good points and bad points. Yes it is very adictive to some people. So are books, tv, food, and lots of other things. 
Sometimes we also use Minecraft to suppliment what we are working on in some of our homeschool subjects. We are planning on doing several of the ideas from this blog http://amylandisman.com/2013/10/learning-with-minecraft/


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## Greengo

Find a way to get involved in your kids life ;-)

"I wanted him to understand that too much gaming was unhealthy and that I wasn't just being a mean parent. So we Googled what doctors and educators said about it. I wanted him to desire to eat better, so we researched how eating clean could better his gaming. I wanted him to be physically active, so we designed a reward program for playing sports. The list goes on and on, but I think you get the idea. " excerpt from Minecraft Game Addicts Book


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## Mom2JTB

I am glad to know that i am not alone. My 11 Year old Son is also addicted to Minecraft or any video game for that matter. He has lost all privledges and does not care. He cannot wait until he leaves to walk to the bus in the morning so that he can begin playing and I have caught him several times sneaking around the house in the middle of the night looking for his "school issued" laptop so that he can play. After the 2nd time I caught him playing at 2-3 am after I am fast asleep, I have began making him give me his laptop to charge in my bedroom at night. The first night, he tried sneaking in my room and got caught, then I began to lock my bedroom door and again I woke up to him trying to get into my room. I am at wits end and I do not know what to do. He has no care in the world and from being a straight A student, his grades are dropping from rushing to get his work done or not doing it at all so he can pretend he is studying on his laptop in reality he is sneaking to play! How can I enforce a no electronic policy when all of his assignments and homework is done online. I am really frustrated and lost! How can you punish a child that has lost everything and has even said " I dont care about getting in trouble, at least I can play until I get caught". I wish I had an answer to your problem, but I am in the same boat......

Worried and Annoyed,

JKB


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## happy123

How our family approaches this:

-I find it best just to have a set time (30 min/day total) for any kind of electronic/screen game they choose.
-Have a physical timer (we use a kitchen timer). Monitor this and don't let them go over too much (there can be a short grace period). Once the time is over, hover over them and be ready to turn it off yourself (but I think it's best that they turn it off).
-Be consistent (don't give 5 hours one day, and one hour the next day). Keep the time the same for everyday including weekends. It would be even better if the same time of day was used (but I don't do this).
-If the kids fuss at the end of their time, tell them they will lose the next day's gaming privilege if they continue.
-At the beginning of the session, remind them that they need to be grateful for the privilege especially after time is up. Otherwise, they will lose the privilege. I say they need to "be happy at the end of the session that they had the opportunity to play."

I do like the token and no-electronic-Sundays ideas.


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## Woofum

Hello. My name is Maddie, and I am a Minecraft addict....

I know this website is for moms and stuff, but I just made an account to tell moms and dads this..

I have been playing since September 2012 and I cant stop...

I probably have seen my friends about 30 times that whole year....

But I skype chat with others ALOTTT....

I need help.... you say they love minecraft? It only gets worse... tonight I just asked my mom to help me out with my addiction to the internet.

But hey, this is just me.

Go ahead, let your kids have as mcuh fun as they want, but PLEASE give them stuffs like certain times to play, limits and restrictions.

And another thing, all the people arent "nice" in minecraft.

I've had people talk SO MUCH CRAP and curse, and spam.

Minecraft is somuch fun, but I think I need to control my time.. I just really wanted to get tat out.

I dont mean to scare you with this post, but please limit ur kids time!!!!!

It help









-Maddie


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## Woofum

Yea thats kinda like me, but I get scared if my mom gets me in trouble. 

You should take his computer away

Lock him in his room

Confiscate his electronics...

Do something!!

Its only gonna get worse D:

Take it from me, I played minecraft for 12 hours today.

I forgot to eat because of it!!


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## oneblkwmn

Minecraft... yep.. @ my house too!... my 12 yr plays other games.. but i must admit.. what i as a parent like about Minecraft is the music... yep.. my son likes for us to listen to the Minecraft parodies on youtube... I like it because its not derogatory or inappropriate for children. Yes they sample popular music but the lyrics are game related. I feel good that we can relate to this together...

My son rushes to the games.. and we too insist his school work and room are completed and accurate before indulging...

My son is not the 'social' type.. doesn't go out to play like we did.. I'd prefer he did.. however it is now the winter and i'd rather he be inside reading a book.. but there is a compromise.. lol.. sooo .. \

Hey, maybe our sons are playing together...!!


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## bseaweed

My son is 13 and he is totally addicted. However, he's no doing good in school and won't do his chores until I force him to. I don't like forcing him to do things he's supposed to do but because of Minecraft it has become that way. And he's also becoming very disrespectful because he wants to be on Minecraft for all his waking hours. I don't mind him playing but after 5 hours straight I feel that that is enough. He will barely even stop to eat. I even have to force him to eat! He's not in sports or music or any extracurricular activities. Any suggestions.


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## bseaweed

Wow! Your post sounds just like what is happening in my home. I am going to get a timer like the other person suggested. It's very difficult because my husband cares one day but the next day lets him to whatever he wants. I too am frustrated!


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## bseaweed

Everyone's suggestions have been so helpful! I feel so relieved to see that my son is being "normal". But I need to help him to be balanced. I am going to implement many of the suggestions. I am going right now to the store to buy a kitchen timer! Thank you everyone, especially the young Mincrafters who are addicted themselves. I appreciate your honesty!


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## MelKay2003

My 10yo is also obsessed with Minecraft and has a real hard time getting off. He throws tantrums. I am really worried about what it is doing to his personality and think I might get rid of it completely. This alone will be a very hard task!


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## stressedmom

ok - update since June 2013. So, my daughter, 12 year old was not doing her homework and saying she did so she could play MC, then, at times she was supposed to be writing a paper on the computer and i would catch her playing. So, when she got very bad grades (straight A student to C's) we took the MC away from her all summer long, and then she got a great report card all A's in October 2013, so, i allowed her to play MC (1 hour/day)...well, bad habits soon followed. And the grades plummeted, again saying she finished her homework. She wrote a letter stating why she knows that she she needs to do her homework and can do better but that the games are the "Devil's Temptation!" Wow! So, nonetheless, MC is gone again...not to be seen till maybe summer if at all! I also noticed that she had an email from someone she met on MC who she doesn't know...that is so scary... So, no more MC again, blocked it from the kids computers. I know she needs to learn to resist the temptations...but the kids are just at a very vulnerable age and it is similar to if you are on a diet, you don't sit in a room with cake.

I am sure that this is just another "learning moment".

Good luck all but be aware...

StressedMom


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## contactmaya

.....watching this thread with great interest....this is one of those issues that all that babywearing, co sleeping, breastfeeding, gentle discipline and what not, did not prepare me for. I want to live consensually with my kids, but im scared of how addictive these games can become.... what did kids do before computer games and tv? (in my childhood it was tv, but there was only one tv, and you didnt use it to connect with friends or do homework)

.


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## JamieCatheryn

What did they do before? Helped with chores, played outside, played with toys, crafted their own toys.


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## 4evermom

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *contactmaya*
> what did kids do before computer games and tv? (in my childhood it was tv, but there was only one tv, and you didnt use it to connect with friends or do homework)
> 
> .


I mostly read (didn't have a tv.) I'm not sure that that is necessarily healthier. It's equally sedentary and doesn't allow any opportunity to interact with others like Minecraft does. It's passive since you are just absorbing another's creation...

Personally, I don't think the problem is Minecraft but that kids are being required to go to school all day and do homework in their "free" time. They are just over scheduled. Even if a home schooled kid plays Minecraft for hours every day, he still has plenty of time to engage in physical activity, get enough sleep, and do other things with other people.


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## JamieCatheryn

Today while I tended a fussy sick baby the older two went outside of their own accord and built "wooden tools" with sticks and duct tape, all minecraft inspired no doubt. Their uncle set up a server on his computer so they can play with him about once a week online. Last week I went on minecraft myself to build a house I had in mind as a possible real world design, so I could virtually walk through it.


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## pudlenka

Minecraft 9yr old DD here. She loooooves creative mode, builds farms, railroads, huge buildings with gardens on each floor ... very very creative. She can only do multiplayer with people we know (eg her cousin) as she's playing only on her tablet.

DH and I have both always really enjoyed video games. As long as there is balance ... school, friends, reading, family, creativity, exercise ... it's fine. But she is required to get portions of the day done before playing - clean her room, set table, whatever. It's motivating for her. The thing I like about Minecraft is the depth, and the great spatial reasoning. Talking about volume in math? Multiplication? It all applies.

We went to a chess tournament this winter where between matches, all the older kids were playing together on a server. Sitting together, talking, collaborating, and having fun.


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## contactmaya

Im inspired by the creative and social potential of this game, but worried about its addictive nature. Do playdates now become 'minecraft playdates' and does that matter? If true interaction is involved then it seems to be a good thing. But what about old fashioned tag? Thats definitely better for your health.

As for reading, i agree that it isnt better from the perspective that you are absorbing anothers creation. But its not completely passive. You are acquiring an enormous vocabluary, inspiring your imagination, and basically improving your mastery of the language you are reading in. Strong language skills are a definite asset in life.

I think reading can be addictive too, as can tv, but there's something about computer games that are particularly addictive.


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## Cassidy68

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *4evermom*
> 
> Personally, I don't think the problem is Minecraft but that kids are being required to go to school all day and do homework in their "free" time. They are just over scheduled. Even if a home schooled kid plays Minecraft for hours every day, he still has plenty of time to engage in physical activity, get enough sleep, and do other things with other people.


This is my experience too, 4evermom. My son plays Minecraft a lot- but as he doesn't go to school or have homework, he has a lot of free time. Yesterday he played Minecraft for about five hours in the morning- partly on his own, building a new adventure map, and partly on Skype with a friend. That took until noon. So then we had lunch, did some errands, went for a walk, drew comics together, read for a couple of hours, got our passport photos taken, went to a coffee shop, made dinner... and in the evening he played online for another hour or so, and built a redstone-powered tofu factory to amuse his (mostly vegetarian) parents, and then decided it was time to get back to the book we are reading together. So at least six hours of Minecraft but no conflict and a lovely day with some great conversations about all kinds of things. But if he'd had to squeeze in six hours of school and a couple more hours of homework? Hmm. That'd have made for a very different kind of day.

Anyway, I just wrote a blog post about our experience with Minecraft. Here's the link if anyone is interested: http://www.robinstevenson.com/wordpress/category/blog/


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## beanma

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *4evermom*
> 
> I mostly read (didn't have a tv.) I'm not sure that that is necessarily healthier. It's equally sedentary and doesn't allow any opportunity to interact with others like Minecraft does. It's passive since you are just absorbing another's creation...


I have read quotes (can't find one handy) of how back in "the olden days" people used to look down on bookworms as slothful and lazy, too.


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## contactmaya

Yes. My own mother, who was an avid reader, was of this generation. She grew up on a farm, and was sent to boarding school. She had read both the whole junior and senior library by 3rd grade. To this day, she reads like lightening, and is not happy unless she has a book to read. She became an English teacher. But she got in trouble at home for reading so much, and was accused of being lazy....poor mom.

Now its obligatory to read for at least 40mins a night for my 3rd grader. He likes reading, but not as much as computer games. I havent introduced him to minecraft yet.....


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## beachmom5

Have an 11 and 7 year old, same problem, every free moment and every time I look away the homework is minimized and minecraft is on. I don't get what they see about it, but at least it's cheap, compared with game consoles.


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## timmullally

I bought the minecraft game for my 10 year old nephew last summer. At first it seemed harmless,, building little villages,, houses,, etc... at that point though I did think he was spending too much time infront of the computer. As the months went along,,, I could see signs of trouble... He only wanted to play minecraft... he became obsessed with it... the first thing he would do in the morning and the last thing he would do at night. He started fights with me,,, as to why he could not play it,, or why he had to get off the computer... I was thinking,, ok,, the kid is ten... so they all play on the computer.. he is just a little overly emotional.

Then the problems got worse... I think when we added the different servers,, and he started killing zombies,, or what ever he is killing and then collecting his gems,,, or what ever he collects,,,, he started to become too emotionally involved with the game,,, having freakouts if someone killed him,, or worse, If I were to take away his privilege for what ever reason,, he would have a complete tantrum,

I was really starting to wonder about the effect this game was having on him.... watching it on youtube,,, communicating with total strangers on his various servers... but mostly about his behavior when his privilege was taken away.

I finally had enough!!! His last outburst was so severe,,,,, screaming,, yelling,, throwing himself on the bed,,, hurting himself.... I decided it was best for him NOT to have minecraft in his life anymore. After a particular rough tantrum.... I said.. OK,, that's it... I am deleteing your minecraft from the computer,, (I don't think you can actually delete it so I just changed the log in password)

He naturally had a fit,, but to my surprise,, he got over it fairly quickly,,, I even said to him that he was a better person with out minecraft.. and he agreed!!!!! I'm sure that I will stumble across another game or two that need parental monitoring... and will deal with that when it comes,, but I am so happy that I had the intuition and foresight to realize that this game was damaging and the tenacity to remove it from OUR lives... Everything is so much better now.. He plays with his 2 1/2 year old brother,, we watch movies together,, we spend much more quality time together... My advise to any parent about minecraft... not about how much time they can play,,, that is an impossible feat.... just say NO!!!!! Explain to them that the game is damaging and that it is in their best interst not to play it...

I think they will secretly agree with y ou....

Good luck

Tim Mullally


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## Miss Muffet

I just wanted to chime in and add my 2 DD's to the mix (ages 8 & 10). They love mine craft, as do most of their friends.

My girls only play on their iPods - which is the first thing they are grounded from when behavior problems arise or homework isn't getting done.

I was getting a bit worried about it, until DD 10 came home tonight and asked for instagram and snap chat. Suddenly I'm not too worried with mine craft when compared to what's coming ahead.


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## contactmaya

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Miss Muffet*
> 
> I just wanted to chime in and add my 2 DD's to the mix (ages 8 & 10). They love mine craft, as do most of their friends.
> 
> My girls only play on their iPods - which is the first thing they are grounded from when behavior problems arise or homework isn't getting done.
> 
> I was getting a bit worried about it, until DD 10 came home tonight and asked for instagram and snap chat. Suddenly I'm not too worried with mine craft when compared to what's coming ahead.


So true....


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## DesireeH

Add me to this club. My 6th grader loves this game. He started making money off it somehow. He has his own server and sells rank. Hopefully it is legal and it doesn't come back to bite him (us.) Haha


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## stressedmom

@Tim I agree with you...after I took it away from my daughter, it seems like it was a relief.

Good luck,

StressedMom


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## JaseMcMillan

I understand exactly where some of you are coming from, we have had to ban it at home, yet our daughter still gains access via other sources. *For a while she did stop, her school work picked up, homework was being completed, she struggled less every day, things were great!...* yet recently we noticed all of this slip again, and after investigation... Yep Mine-craft, she has been watching it on her phone, she downloaded a copy on her PlayStation, and she plays on her boyfriends phone or tablet "at school" (shocking) She plays for one day when she stays with her father at the weekend, and yet we keep hearing awww let her go it's only once a week! Well that's not really the case it's a whole week of getting a hit however she can. Now her homework is dire, detentions galore for not completing work, yet she tells us she goes to homework club. We deleted it from her PS3 completely, yet after looking on there today it was back.. Now we told her if she was found with it on there again she would lose the console, if this is not an addiction problem then I don't know what is. I see some people that don't have a problem with their children playing, and that's great if they can walk away with no repercussions, but for all the parents who's child's education and social life is being destroyed for this supposed harmless fun, you have our sympathy and understanding. On a constructive note the game is amazing for building a child's imagination, engineering skills, but the scales in our case don't merit us allowing it to continue.


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## moominmamma

As a parent who has four very tech-savvy kids from 11 to 20, I just want to remind those of you who have chosen to enforce strict limits as your strategy for coping with Minecraft's allure that your kids will grow up and leave home and they'll either have had the opportunity *to learn to self-regulate* this sort of thing, or they won't. And personally I don't believe that strict parental limits do anything much to teaching the skills of self-regulation. As the post above shows, strict parental control tends to give the activity more allure, and to encourage increasing deviousness in pushing and undermining limits, but even if they don't do that the risk is that when parental controls drop away -- say when your kid goes off to college -- that they have no understanding of how to create and manage a balanced life.

I've always worked with my children rather than against them on these sorts of things. My two oldest especially tend to be obsessive in their interests and often get locked into activities for long periods. We always talked about issues of balance in their lives, and helped identify what constituted a healthy balance *for them,* what their desires were, and brainstormed and tried out many many ways to attain that balance. If they wanted to try out a rule or limit or habit for themselves, we'd give it a week and I would help enforce the rule while for that time if they wanted. Then they would evaluate whether it had been helpful. Week after week we would discuss, I'd let them decide whether a strategy was working for them or not, and they'd carry on or change course based on that. Kids aren't stupid: they know they're not keeping up if they're failing to hand in assignments or not completing chores or staying up until 3 am to finish a game. The main reason they don't learn from those experiences is that they may be in a situation where they're denying they have a problem in order to win a power struggle with their parents. In that case they can't admit there's a problem, or they'll lose ground in the control battle.

There were times when my kids were younger teens when I had to non-judgementally let things go well beyond my comfort zone. But with support and problem-solving facilitation that gave them the chance to learn how to self-regulate.

Your kids will encounter plenty of things in life that hold immersive or addictive allure. I think some mis-steps while they are young are worthwhile because the stakes are much lower in childhood and the teen years than they are during college or adulthood ... provided the mistakes are made in a context of support rather than control. No matter what course you take with gaming, I would encourage you to make sure your kids are empowered to make their own choices and learn from the repercussions of those choices.

miranda


----------



## JaseMcMillan

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *moominmamma*
> 
> As a parent who has four very tech-savvy kids from 11 to 20, I just want to remind those of you who have chosen to enforce strict limits as your strategy for coping with Minecraft's allure that your kids will grow up and leave home and they'll either have had the opportunity *to learn to self-regulate* this sort of thing, or they won't. And personally I don't believe that strict parental limits do anything much to teaching the skills of self-regulation. As the post above shows, strict parental control tends to give the activity more allure, and to encourage increasing deviousness in pushing and undermining limits, but even if they don't do that the risk is that when parental controls drop away -- say when your kid goes off to college -- that they have no understanding of how to create and manage a balanced life.
> 
> I've always worked with my children rather than against them on these sorts of things. My two oldest especially tend to be obsessive in their interests and often get locked into activities for long periods. We always talked about issues of balance in their lives, and helped identify what constituted a healthy balance *for them,* what their desires were, and brainstormed and tried out many many ways to attain that balance. If they wanted to try out a rule or limit or habit for themselves, we'd give it a week and I would help enforce the rule while for that time if they wanted. Then they would evaluate whether it had been helpful. Week after week we would discuss, I'd let them decide whether a strategy was working for them or not, and they'd carry on or change course based on that. Kids aren't stupid: they know they're not keeping up if they're failing to hand in assignments or not completing chores or staying up until 3 am to finish a game. The main reason they don't learn from those experiences is that they may be in a situation where they're denying they have a problem in order to win a power struggle with their parents. In that case they can't admit there's a problem, or they'll lose ground in the control battle.
> 
> There were times when my kids were younger teens when I had to non-judgementally let things go well beyond my comfort zone. But with support and problem-solving facilitation that gave them the chance to learn how to self-regulate.
> 
> Your kids will encounter plenty of things in life that hold immersive or addictive allure. I think some mis-steps while they are young are worthwhile because the stakes are much lower in childhood and the teen years than they are during college or adulthood ... provided the mistakes are made in a context of support rather than control. No matter what course you take with gaming, I would encourage you to make sure your kids are empowered to make their own choices and learn from the repercussions of those choices.
> 
> miranda


Thanks for that, but we did allow our daughter limited access, Fridays, weekends, to see if that would help and it did not. She is not our only child, we have plenty of experience to go by, our eldest two have not had the problems that we are experiencing now, one in university, one completed university. We have tried many approaches and as I said previously did get somewhere, she started doing well at school and completed all of her home work on time and well produced, not rushed like it was and is now. The game is causing this,because when she stopped playing and watching she did well again, she is allowed to play any other game, they do not have the same effect, which speaks volumes, every child is different we know this all to well from the others, it is not a healthy state of mind to be obsessed by anything, life is about variety, about taking in the world outside not one sucking your brain out from inside.


----------



## chickabiddy

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *JaseMcMillan*
> 
> I understand exactly where some of you are coming from, we have had to ban it at home, yet our daughter still gains access via other sources. *For a while she did stop, her school work picked up, homework was being completed, she struggled less every day, things were great!...* yet recently we noticed all of this slip again, and after investigation... Yep Mine-craft, she has been watching it on her phone, she downloaded a copy on her PlayStation, and she plays on her boyfriends phone or tablet "at school" (shocking) She plays for one day when she stays with her father at the weekend, and yet we keep hearing awww let her go it's only once a week! Well that's not really the case it's a whole week of getting a hit however she can. Now her homework is dire, detentions galore for not completing work, yet she tells us she goes to homework club. We deleted it from her PS3 completely, yet after looking on there today it was back.. Now we told her if she was found with it on there again she would lose the console, if this is not an addiction problem then I don't know what is. I see some people that don't have a problem with their children playing, and that's great if they can walk away with no repercussions, but for all the parents who's child's education and social life is being destroyed for this supposed harmless fun, you have our sympathy and understanding. On a constructive note the game is amazing for building a child's imagination, engineering skills, but the scales in our case don't merit us allowing it to continue.


Seems like the problem is with the lying and sneaking and not doing her work, not with the Minecraft.

My almost-12yo loves Minecraft. We do impose restrictions on it because she's not yet great at self-regulating. But when/if she violates those restrictions or ignores what needs to be done, I blame her, I don't blame the computer.


----------



## JaseMcMillan

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *chickabiddy*
> 
> Seems like the problem is with the lying and sneaking and not doing her work, not with the Minecraft.
> 
> My almost-12yo loves Minecraft. We do impose restrictions on it because she's not yet great at self-regulating. But when/if she violates those restrictions or ignores what needs to be done, I blame her, I don't blame the computer.


As said before, before *"**We have tried many approaches, and as I said previously did get somewhere, she started doing well at school and completed all of her home work on time and well produced"* *We would both like her to do well at school**,* she is a good child, only time we have any problems is when this game is involved, really, she is never in any other trouble, *"she is allowed to play "any" other game, they do not have the same effect" She does, she is up there now playing..* She's a kid, that can't stop feeling the urge to use, regardless of consequence for doing so.. Sounds like addiction to me. *Games are not bad*, I worked in the industry for years, hell they paid me to play games, some of the best years of my life, I don't blame "games" but I can see a real problem with this one.


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## moominmamma

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *JaseMcMillan*
> 
> Thanks for that, but we did allow our daughter limited access, Fridays, weekends, to see if that would help and it did not.


I understand that all kids are different, and that parents have different approaches and no one knows individual kids better than their parents. Heck, I have four kids and they're all very different. But if you thought I was suggesting simply allowing limited access to see whether your child still messes up, then you completely misunderstood the point I was trying to make. What I was trying to explain was that I believe kids should be a full participants in any limit-setting and should be the primary people making judgements about what their goals are and whether they're being achieved. A teen should be analyzing how all this is working for her, learning how and why certain strategies work best for her, brainstorming new things to try, learning to identify exactly what it is about certain activities that makes them so difficult for her to self-regulate, and figuring out what type of support and accountability she needs to achieve her goals. She should be made to feel successful in solving this problem for herself, with her parents on her side. That's the only way she'll gain the skills of self-regulation. Having top-down parental regulation and pushing against it is only going to help for as long as her parents can control her, which isn't really that long. And when parental support drops away, that's at a time of life when the opportunities for mistakes and the repercussions of failure tend to be much greater.

Your dd may very well not be able to achieve a healthy balance with Minecraft in her life at all. If I were you I would focus my energy not on keeping it out of her life, but on helping her come to that conclusion herself.

Miranda


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## beanma

I think this thread must trend high on google searches for kids addicted to Minecraft or something. I have noticed a lot of first time posters responding to this thread and I'm not sure if they've explored the AP philosophy behind mothering.com.

FTR, my kids like Minecraft, but it hasn't caused any problems for our family.


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## contactmaya

Ive been following this thread, and havent noticed that much (did i miss something? I guess i did) Im very interested to hear from people themselves 'addicted to minecraft', or not.....

Im wondering whether i should introduce my 8yo to coding, rather than waste time with the computer games... he thrives on visual patterns, but suffers in a auditory environment. He might be really good at coding...i dont know....


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## JamieCatheryn

Regarding the self regulation thing, I have a very lax limit of 2 hrs with screens per day. I give a warning when it's almost over. If the 7 year old fails to stop there are consequences, like the next day he loses time, or he is prone to fits after too much screen time and if he loses control he has to take a few days off. Then he blames me for letting him get that far. It is a teachable moment about self control and consequences, but it's also teaching me he wants the help regulating it because he knows he can't do it alone. For my son a balance is ok, it doesn't hurt his life outside of that. For others it does and fully quitting is in order. If you listen closely if they need the help they may be asking for it already, but unable to stop something alone.


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## contactmaya

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *moominmamma*
> We always talked about issues of balance in their lives, and helped identify what constituted a healthy balance *for them,* what their desires were, and brainstormed and tried out many many ways to attain that balance. If they wanted to try out a rule or limit or habit for themselves, we'd give it a week and I would help enforce the rule while for that time if they wanted.
> 
> miranda


I like this approach very much. Trying to figure out what balance works for each individual is the art of life.

But i find balance is compromised when you introduce the rigidity of the modern work/school day. If you unschool, then fine. But what of children going to school.(and parents working fulltime) I dont think that school itself represents balance for the individuals in it, but is doing its best for a large number of children at once, at the cost of the individual. Screen addiction, like any addiction, is a way to compensate a life that is already out of balance. So i am wondering how to solve that big dilemma which goes beyond the issue of minecraft.

I think the addictive nature of screen games combined with the restrictiveness of modern life for children is the molatov cocktail so to speak. Then throw in that 10% of kids have adhd,(one wonders why such a high statistic) which i find actually predisposes them to addiction, because of their propensity to 'over' focus. (i find that highly subjective anyway, but it is a diagnostic criteria)

But still, im going to try my best to have this conversation and to restore balance in my kids lives. (for eg, i wish they did their lunch break free exercise first thing in the morning, and not after lunch. Who wants to run around while youre digesting? See, that imbalance right there. My formerly very active and social kid tells me he would rather read a book during the lunch break-who is this child?! Not my child....)


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## momof3b

My 10 year old has what I refer to as an obsession or addiction to the minecraft game, so much so that he screems and gets upset when it is time to get off the computer or xbox game. He asked for everything minecraft for Christmas, his grades have been dropping, and he neglects himself, I have to fight with him to actually eat a meal, get him to take a bath, or brush his teeth, change his clothes, and even have to remind him to go to the bathroom. I don't like to hear him cry, so I remind him of a time limit before he is allowed to play, and I give him a 10, 5, and 2 minute warning before his time is up. He has gotten so out of hand with his minecraft addiction that I have been forced to not let him play for a few days up to a week. He is currently working with a therapist, for numerous different things, he has ADHD, asbergers, and something called ehler's danlo's syndrome. Because of some of his issues, I think they make him more suseptable to different types of addiction, so I am trying to nip his addiction issues in the but before they become to extreme, they are bad now, but not to the point that he has no friends, and doesn't ever leave the house. I don't want to take something he is extremely interested in away from him. Because of his ADHD it's hard for him to stay focused on certain things, but he loves his game, and I am afraid he will find a different more dangerous addiction in the future, so I will not take it away indefinetly. He gets grounded from play occasionally, but he always gets it back.


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## JustRoo

All three of our kids love this game. My older son (at that time 10)) saved, and sold off old toys, to purchase an Xbox, just because he wanted this game.

He could spend all his time playing it&#8230;his siblings (14 yo daughter and 9 yo son) like it, but aren't quite as obsessed.

A few things I have done to minimize the impact is that he is required to do physical activity to earn time for electronics. For him, that means running on our treadmill (or outside if the weather is nice). He also has to maintain his homework (including instrument practice), participate in school, or other extracurricular activities (for him he is on the Math Team, Honor Band, Honor Choir and maintain good relations with his family (treat others with respect, personal hygiene, etc.). Any infractions can keep him off the system for the day. He also has to respect "Time to turn it off" without argument.

So far that works.

I have encouraged him to purchase guide books and 3rd party manuals to learn more without being tied to the screen. He keeps a graph paper composition book with all of his ideas and designs. It also him to be creative, problem solve, plan and think about it to his heart's content without actually turning on the switch.

I chose to redirect his passion and encourage it in a multitude of tactile and inventive ways, rather than fighting every battle with him because all that seems to do is breed more obsession and resentment in the child because he isn't getting his way.


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## chiaraduff

My 13 yr old son plays Minecraft all the time and he love it.


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## mom2mygirls

I love the game how it teaches. both my 7 and 11 year old did start getting addicted to it so I just limited there computer time to an hour and so far that has worked for us.


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## mommy2k&k

My 13 and 11 year old girls love minecraft. They only play on the weekend after all chores are done. I like that it lets them be creative. They also like other things like playing outside and reading just as much so I'm not worried about them bring addicted. I will be keeping a closer eye on them so that won't happen.


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## Spiderpig

I'm not altogether convinced Minecraft would be the way for my daughter if she was of that age where addiction and obsession of computer games become all the rage, and popular. One of my sisters adores Mikecraft and been glued to Kingdom Hearts, while the others just aren't interested. It all depends I suppose on how much we limit our children to using computers. I for one intend not to allow Juniper much internet access to online games. This is probably because I have no interest in gaming whatsoever, preferring a life outdoors and, getting muddied up and feeling all spritzy on coming home instead of being chained to the computer like some of my online peer acquaintencies are. I'm sorry, but Minecraft just doesn't cut the mustard of my young familys' out and about lifestyle they've chosen for themselves.


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## meemee

spiderpig i am like you. an outdoorsy person, not much into technology except as a tool.

well early on i discovered dd is different. she seemed to get technology - really early on. she was able to figure out how things worked. we did both. outdoors and technology. but i had to accept my attitude to the outdoors is her attitude to technology. as she grows older she chooses technology over hikes. however she does choose friends over technology - so her growing up to be a tv/computer junkie is not a fear of mine.

she can easily go on a 20 mile hike as much as she can spend a straight 8 hour watching her favourite vloggers. she prefers the internet.

so its actually been quite hard having to respect dd's personality. that she doesnt care about the outdoors as much as i do, and that at times she'd rather be chained to the computer. i guess she is more of a reader and the amount of knowledge she has amassed is interesting. she uses the internet both as play and 'work'. she plays a lot of online games, vbloggers and research.

dd latched on to technology real early on. at 6 months she could tell the difference between my new cell phone and old cell phone. she got her first keyboard at 3 months old so that she'd let me work from home. while she never looked at the screen she always knew which was the real keyboard and always wanted that.

so while it was hard allowing her technology - it was equally hard keeping her away when she 'got it' so early.


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## Spiderpig

Thank you for taking the trouble to explain. How old is she? 

Since posting on this thread, I have allowed Juniper to use my tabet which she enjoys, and the game that fascinates her is Candycrush. Which she plays remarkably well and so far has reached Level 10. But I continue to limit use of the tablet unless it's raining, when our kids can't go out and play.

I wonder if there are specially designed programmes for children to participate on? I have a Kindle Fire, the big one, and also an iPad. Both have different OS's.


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## meemee

dd is 11 1/2.

hey that's great that she is doing so well on candy crush.

from dd i know that kindles are not that easy to use. but i know from other moms that the ipad has a bunch of kids apps. actually gosh i think minecraft by itself is a good one. look for puzzles sort of game or memory games. so matching games. unfortunately i am not aware of them now that dd is grown up.

i think its excellent limiting technology time. but its also important to recognize personality types. dd finds a scheduled time horrifying. she is not the do an hour everyday kinda person. she is more of a 3 hours at one time and then nothing for the next few days, then again a bunch and then nothing again.


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## Spiderpig

I think flash games are really fun, particularly the Ferry Halim games of which there are a great many. Like this

http://www.ferryhalim.com/orisinal/g2/voyage.htm

Watch out for the dragon!









But again, I do limit Juni's activity on my tablet, allowing flash games only to be played as a form of reward for being good.


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## KimPossible129

My daughter is 14, she said she has played it here and there. I have NEVER seen her on it at all. Instagram, Twitter, and some other site (that I can't think of right now- maybe Tumblr?) are where she is mostly. My two best friends' kids 9,8, and 6 are addicted, the 5 and 4 year olds are not into it yet (they are sisters of the 9 year old). Any time we get together, this is all they do- at restaurants, parties, no matter where we are. The nine year old hat a FIT when we were in a place where she couldn't get wifi (not sure why you need it, but I guess she did).

The parents of the 8 and 6 year old think it's cute. They keep saying "this is the new play date". I feel like the 6 year old is already socially awkward, and way too young for this (but is very big on doing everything his big brother does). They do other things, thankfully (mom throws them into every sport imaginable), but to me, it seems a bit excessive. The reason I worry is because I see how excessive kids are with the net as they get older (adults as well, obviously).

I believe that with all behaviors, everyone has a different personality; children and adults alike. For example, if I decide to have some Oreo cookies, and I take the entire package out and have it in front of me, I can stop at 2 or three. My daughter and my husband cannot. When she was little, if there was a huge spread of dessert at a holiday occasion, she felt it was okay to just keep going. The same with television, internet, staying up late on weekends and vacations, and any other thing she enjoys. This is not a new teen-age behavior. She NEEDS limits. I do not consider myself very strict with her, I try very hard (especially at age 14) to discuss 'doing the right thing'. I go to bed very early; I tell her "I am a grown up, my mom does not set my bed time, yet I still choose on some nights to go to sleep at 9:30. I pick my battles.

I also do agree that too much regulation and limits can bite you in the butt later on. Another friend of mine (with a 13 year old) is painfully strict with her. As strict as she has been with her, she too, would want to devour the dessert table if given the chance. My daughter tells me about the 'little' rebellious things she sees her doing. Right now, they are little things, but very soon, they will both be entering the world of High School, where their ability to self-regulate will be tested daily, in many ways.

Some kids need more limits than others. Some kids can be told "ok honey, no more Minecraft for today", others will pitch a full-on fit. Same with adults.


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## rhodeslindsey

I have one son, that would stay on those games 24/7 If I let him! NO WAY! He is limited! I'm not sure that's "healthy" because kids need exercise, and social interaction!


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## JamieCatheryn

When we finished school for the year mine thought they could focus their whole day every day on screen time, or when can we start it, how long can we play, throwing fits when it's time to get off. It's less minecraft lately, a mix of different games and videos now. But I had to severely limit it. Weekdays there's the occasional movies as a family or multiplayer games together for an hour, weekends they have about 2-3 hours a day to do what they want.

So, my oldest got a shovel out a dug a hole in the yard. He actually found a pile of coal. He was filthy, but thrilled. MC IRL FTW.


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## ndalal

*minecraft game usage tracker available*

So many kids play Minecraft many hours per week but we have restricted them to play no more than 4 hours/week but how to keep track of these things?
We don't want to control kids by locking the computer down but just notice what they do and how much of it.

Anyways, we did some research and built this site, which is specifically made for parents whose kids play minecraft game.

http://wickedcool.io/minetrack/

So we created this application and started to use on our own kids PC and it worked great. 
Now we can see how much and when do they play Minecraft.

We recommend it for any parents out there who would like to track this game usage.

Thanks for reading...


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## Frustratedparent

Has anyone found a way to lock Minecraft after a specified amount of time? Addiction does not begin to describe our household. The problem is my son needs his laptop for homework but can't control himself. After several warnings I need to be able to stop him from playing the game but can't take away his laptop. Any suggestions?


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## moominmamma

I'm not sure there's a decent unhackable tool that would allow you to block access to Minecraft selectively at certain times, via the PC interface, the web interface, both online and in offline mode. I think the simplest cheapest most effective way to block it is to find a cheap used underpowered netbook and get him to use only that until his homework is done. A lot of people I know probably have a barely functional circa-2002 laptop in their basement that they'd probably give away or sell for $30. The 'x' key doesn't work, or the sound card is toast, but for a kid who has proven himself undeserving of trust and full access to up-to-date tech tools, that sort of machine would be enough.

Miranda


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## Mummoth

One thing you could do is go to the Minecraft website and change the password on his account. Unfortunately once he's logged in with a new password, he can keep going back. You'd have to change the password each night, so it won't open up for him the next day when he sits down to do home work. You could give him the new password once he's done his work... once he has the password he can change it to something you don't know, so if he's really resistant to this idea you could have a fight on your hands.

It's a laptop, you could restrict it's use to the kitchen table or somewhere you can monitor him easily. Does he need internet for his homework? The wifi password to your router could be changed so that he has to plug the laptop into the wall (hopefully in a more public location of the house) to get internet.


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## lilgreen

I haven't gone through all the posts but I wanted to say that I control screen time in our house. So at the given time every day, I go through the house and collect all the cords and/or screens and hide them until it's time to get them out again the next day. They understand because they admit it's so addictive and they can't resist the temptation when they see a screen. There are times when they turn off the screens on their own when the time is up and I don't have to take them away, but I seem to have to back to taking them all away for a while at some point. 

As for helping them build their own will for healthy screen time, I have noticed that my 13 year old is doing this on his own. He knows how tempting his iPod is, so when he's studying, he puts it away out of reach and out of sight of him. I think it will come.


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## Frustratedparent

Frustratedparent said:


> Has anyone found a way to lock Minecraft after a specified amount of time? Addiction does not begin to describe our household. The problem is my son needs his laptop for homework but can't control himself. After several warnings I need to be able to stop him from playing the game but can't take away his laptop. Any suggestions?


There has to be a balance between self regulation and parental control while helping them work on learning self regulation. For some children, it can take a year or even two for a young teenager to master any kind of regulation when they are for all intensive purposes addicted. Some are never able to grasp self regulation. At some point, I believe parents need to step in and show them where the line is by providing a cut off including limiting access, strict time control and repercussions when they break the set rules or ignore chores, homework or even lie to gain more game time. Mostly I find children that get addicted to the point of lacking social interaction as well as slipping on homework and studies may need to lose the game altogether for extended periods until they can show they have been able to rebalance other parts of their life or get their grades up.

@ndalal thank you for the application to help track their usage. Hopefully, as they see the time balloons they will become more aware of just how quickly time flies and see when they've met their time limit. At the same time, knowing a parent can log in and track their usage will further help them learn awareness and then hopefully self regulation. It should provide us as the parents an opportunity to discuss their usage, over usage, and lead to discussions on their improvement or their trouble with self regulating.

Unfortunately, when it gets to the point of blatant lying, like my homework is done when it's not, the ramifications need to fit the crime. They are lying in order to get more game time and I don't think they should continue having access to the game until they learn the seriousness of their actions. In this case, I need a way to lock out the game. @Mummoth suggested changing the minecraft password and that could work since it would not be turning it on and off each day; rather, they would lose access for a week or even more.

Hopefully with tracking their usage and the ability to stop their access at times, this game can be fun and useful rather than an all consuming addiction.


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## Greenmama13

*Minecraft*

Like many others in this thread my son is addicted to minecraft. He starts asking to use the ipad as soon as he gets up in the morning. If i try to just let him use it early in the day, he still bugs me for it all day. If I make him wait, he still asks me throughout the day.

Our biggest issue is that we will not get off when he is supposed to though. I have tried - you have 15 minutes left, you have 5 minutes left, etc.... but that makes no difference. And when I do take it from him - either right on time or after he finished whatever he was building, he get angry at me. Really angry. So no matter how long I let him use it, he still gets angry when he has to get off.

The result is my day and my relationship has changed to being harassed to use the ipad and him being angry at me. Last weekend, he called me a witch and told me I was lying about his time being up. So right now the ipad is in time out. My son is 10 - I neglected to mention that. I don't want to head into the preteen/ teen years with him thinking it is okay to call me names and accuse me of lying, etc....

Has anyone else dealt with this. I am at my wits end of what to do other than just banning computer use until school is out. Suggestions appreciated!


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## oldsmom

Frustratedparent said:


> Has anyone found a way to lock Minecraft after a specified amount of time? Addiction does not begin to describe our household. The problem is my son needs his laptop for homework but can't control himself. After several warnings I need to be able to stop him from playing the game but can't take away his laptop. Any suggestions?


Yes, you can create user accounts on your computer, and each child gets their own, with their own password. Once a used account is created, as the administrator, you can control and/or ban websites, or general types of websites. You can also control what times of day and length of time that user can be logged in. These are usually available in all Windows computers. You just have to learn how to use the Control Panel and User Access controls.


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## oldsmom

Greenmama13 said:


> Like many others in this thread my son is addicted to minecraft. He starts asking to use the ipad as soon as he gets up in the morning. If i try to just let him use it early in the day, he still bugs me for it all day. If I make him wait, he still asks me throughout the day.
> 
> Our biggest issue is that we will not get off when he is supposed to though. I have tried - you have 15 minutes left, you have 5 minutes left, etc.... but that makes no difference. And when I do take it from him - either right on time or after he finished whatever he was building, he get angry at me. Really angry. So no matter how long I let him use it, he still gets angry when he has to get off.
> 
> The result is my day and my relationship has changed to being harassed to use the ipad and him being angry at me. Last weekend, he called me a witch and told me I was lying about his time being up. So right now the ipad is in time out. My son is 10 - I neglected to mention that. I don't want to head into the preteen/ teen years with him thinking it is okay to call me names and accuse me of lying, etc....
> 
> Has anyone else dealt with this. I am at my wits end of what to do other than just banning computer use until school is out. Suggestions appreciated!


We had that problem with our kids on World of Warcraft back when our oldest was a preteen, and the younger ones were in grade school. They got downright impossible to live with. We simply banned the game entirely. It's not needed, and it's not healthy. Since they couldn't be civil human beings, they didn't get to play. Ever. It has still never been re-installed at our house 10 years later.


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## chickabiddy

Wow, this is an old thread.

I have a 14yo who spends a lot of time online playing games. She used to play Minecraft; now she's moved on (yes, it does happen).

Sometimes she plays games when she shouldn't. Sometimes she gives me attitude when I tell her to stop playing and do schoolwork, do chores, read a book, whatever. Every now and then she lies about what she's actually doing on the computer.

None of this is okay, and it is all dealt with, but it seems like relatively normal teenage stuff to me. I don't blame the computer games. She is responsible for her behavior whether she's playing games or not.

Right now her computer is in a public area of the house and she's not allowed to use her phone in her room because she has proven herself untrustworthy when it comes to electronics. She does not like this but that's the way things are going to be for now. I am not generally an "authoritarian" parent but if preteens are fighting rules about iPad or phone use, then those devices should be put away.


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## moominmamma

kristinee said:


> I heard that the kids in this game might be really aggressive and offense each other. I don't allow my boy to play such games at all.


I would encourage you to learn a bit more about the issue before offering opinions based on hearsay.

Kids might be aggressive anywhere. At school, on the bus, in their bedrooms during a playdate, at the park, on a Minecraft server. True. we still let them go to school, have friends over, play at the park. From what I've observed, the social interactions on Minecraft servers are actually less fraught with poor behaviour than those in real life because of the limitations of the medium (obviously there's no physical aggression, for example) and due to the creative, passionate, positive attitudes of those playing.

But the main thing I wanted to point out is that Minecraft is a rich and interesting game to play in single player mode, not logged into a multi-player server. As a parent you can easily remove any risk of encountering another person by simply by not using multi-player mode. Played that way it's like an incredibly robust virtual Lego set that you can use to build an imaginary world and play out stories in. If you got to know the game I'm pretty sure you'd be blown away.

Single player mode is fantastic fun, but having said that there are some pretty incredible multi-player servers. The virtual school my dd was a part of last fall hosts an amazing educational server that has adult facilitators setting collaborative challenges, encouraging the kids to explore and learn from each other and do research outside the game to enhance their understanding of the virtual systems they're emulating.

Parents are completely entitled to their own approaches on this, of course. I'm not suggesting you should change what you're doing. But your approach, and your advice here, is based on a faulty understanding of the game. If you're interested in learning a bit more about the educational and creative possibilities of the game (in this case in its school version), have a look at this video: 




Miranda


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## chickabiddy

kristinee said:


> It is not really cool, I have to say. Especially if he plays it online. I heard that the kids in this game might be really aggressive and offense each other. I don't allow my boy to play such games at all. His favourite video game is Club Penguin. It is a very nice and beautiful game. Club Penguin Missions are educational and interesting for the kid. They affect him only the good way, I guess. Don't let your kids get addicted to any games, anyway. Spend more time together with them


There are quite a few parents of teens here, since this is the Preteens and Teens forum. My 14yo would have no interest in Club Penguin, and I'm sure many other teens would not either. I agree that we need to be aware of how our kids' online life affects them, but there are other solutions than Club Penguin.


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## moominmamma

chickabiddy said:


> My 14yo would have no interest in Club Penguin, and I'm sure many other teens would not either. I agree that we need to be aware of how our kids' online life affects them, but there are other solutions than Club Penguin.


Lol, yes, I think most kids outgrow interest in Club Penguin by age 10 or so. Not really a game for the teen or tween demographic, at least not in most cases.

Miranda


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## contactmaya

Never heard of club penguin. Actually, on the subject of minecraft, my 4yo daughter uses it to spawn a vast array of flowers, and chicks with their mommies. Her screen is fully of gardens, and little animals.

She was put onto it by her older brothers who use it to build yes, but also to annihilate zombies, skeletons and villagers.

Anyway, my point is, the game can be what you make it.


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## tiller

All these addictions are going to last only till a particular. Change is imminent. 

Later on it will be skating, porn, movies all this are part of it. Anyways heard minecraft really helps cognitive function


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## contactmaya

tiller said:


> All these addictions are going to last only till a particular. Change is imminent.
> 
> Later on it will be skating, porn, movies all this are part of it. Anyways heard minecraft really helps cognitive function


Could you elaborate on how it helps cognitive function?

My concern is not so much the game itself, but what it replaces. My 8yo's best friend isnt allowed screens yet, and he is practising Bach Preludes and Fugues. I know of kids who are reading a whole lot more than my kids because their parents (or usually babysitters) dont allow as much screen time as I do. I feel like a bad mother, but I dont have the means to hire babysitters...


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## DCarp

Super Pickle said:


> We enrolled our 11 year old in K12 this year, and they sent us a personal computer( we already had a laptop, but it was not for game playing). Anyway, my 11 and 8 year old sons asked for Minecraft for Christmas. We thought it looked like a cool game and got it for them, with the stipulation that the 8 yo not use the multi-player function and that the 11 yo only chat with neighborhood friends.
> 
> I do see the attraction of the game, and I see the potential for lots of fun and creativity. My concern is that it is becoming addicting. The 11 yo is agreeable enough that if I ask him respectfully to come do such-and-such, he will turn off Minecraft and do it, but he rarely does anything else on his own initiative. He doesn't even go to his neighborhood friends' houses anymore to play. I'll suggest that he go invite so-and-so over, and he replies that he's already playing with so-and-so on Minecraft. He hurries through his schoolwork and instrument practice so he can get to playing on the computer. Now, it is cold outside, and I'm not one of those "Out in any weather" type people. I was born in the South and live in the Midwest now, so to me, winter is indoor season. The computer goes back in June, at the end of the school year, but I am just not sure how to approach things until then. My husband thinks I should just let him play as long as he is keeping up with school, his music, and his sport. I feel that there is something wrong with being on the computer every time you have a second of free time.
> 
> Does anyone else have this problem? How have you handled it?


Yeah, winter time is the worst! How do you keep them occupied?

I'm not sure I have "the" answer, but we limit their screen time to an hour or two each day. Then we tell them to check the "BORED" board.

B-e creative (go play with playdough, or color/paint a picture. Let's do a fun science project together, etc...)
O-ut door play (I know...in the winter that's tough, but they can build a snowman or fort, or have a snowball fight)
R-ead a book
E-xercise
D-o something helpful.

We also use a lot of Pinterest indoor play ideas.

Hope it helps.


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## Teambirths

Roblox for us. Setting time limits works well for us.


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## Demixl

Minecraft is a very addictive game.My son spends a lot of time playing in this game. In my opinion, it is a nice quiet game without harassment and an aggressive scene. He used to play on a public server and there are many inadequate people.I bought for his a private premium hosting server from GGSERVERS and now he could enjoy the game and I finally could be quite for him .


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## jamesjordan761

Minecraft is a game that is extremely addicting. This is a game that my son spends a lot of time playing. It's a great tranquil game without harassment or an aggressive setting, in my opinion. He used to play on a public server where there were a lot of inept players. I purchased a private premium hosting server for him, allowing him to play the game while I finally had some time to myself.


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## diemvy5

DCarp said:


> Yeah, winter time is the worst! How do you keep them occupied?
> 
> I'm not sure I have "the" answer, but we limit their screen time to an hour or two each day. Then we tell them to check the "BORED" board.
> 
> B-e creative (go play with playdough, or color/paint a picture. Let's do a fun science project together, etc...)
> O-ut door play (I know...in the winter that's tough, but they can build a snowman or fort, or have a snowball fight)
> R-ead a book
> E-xercise
> D-o something helpful.
> 
> We also use a lot of Pinterest indoor play ideas.
> 
> Hope it helps.


Yepp, agree, winter time is the worst. It's too cold to do any outdoor activities. I just can to let some other kids to come to your home and play with your child. 

Also, kids are so energetic to sit still and read a book. Anyone can share a tip how to make your kids like reading more?


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## jamesjordan751

jamesjordan761 said:


> Minecraft is a game that is extremely addicting. This is a game that my son spends a lot of time playing. It's a great tranquil game without harassment or an aggressive setting, in my opinion. He used to play on a public server where there were a lot of inept players. I purchased a private premium hosting server for him, allowing him to play the game while I finally had some time to myself.


Good


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## lilitchka

We have thwbsame issue, mostly with my 12 y.o.
My 10 and 7y.o. are interested, but it’s very limited. 
We just recorded a podcast about that issue with my 12y.o. not about minecraft specifically, but video games in general, even though, in his case, it's mostly minecraft.
As I re-listned to it after he edited it for publishing, I realised how much conflict and tension it creates. 
In the podcast, we reviewed the guidelines for parents regarding videogame use by kids, but I think that still generates lots of frustration for him.


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## lilitchka

Here's the episode if you have time to listen and give me feedback on how to make this less frustrating for him.



https://open.spotify.com/episode/1kbzfEEFceF0WSIt3TcIGa?si=eIGUCY3uSBSpvj7X1KeCAw&utm_source=copy-link


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## maxeshton23

Oh I had the exact same problem with my younger son last year. He played Minecraft everytime and everywhere, but personally I even didn`t understand what is so interesting in that game. Then when it started to be too much I decided that I`ll try to solve this problem and I started playing different games with him ; ) Scrabble, Uno, Fortnite... But actually our last obsession is Wordle and he even became so good at it, that sometimes I need to use a little help by word finder https://word-finder.com/words-that-start-with/h/ when we have these small competitions in guessing the words )))


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