# If you always lay down with your toddler to sleep...



## babymonster (Oct 1, 2007)

DS is almost 2.5 and I always lie down and cuddle him to sleep (on his own mattress next to mine now). This seemed like the logical progression from nursing to sleep and it works well for us.
My question is: if you did this with your toddler, when/how did they eventually start going to sleep on their own or with you sitting nearby? I am not about to quit cuddling him now, but I am slightly worried what will happen when the new baby comes, as it often takes him 30-40 minutes to fall asleep and he is not an of Daddy putting him to bed at the moment (great timing LOL)
Thanks!


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

We actually transitioned DS into DH or me putting him to bed about 2 months prior to DD's arrival (he was just under 2.5 when she arrived). We started with DH in the room but me still doing bedtime for a week, then DH doing bedtime but me still in the room for a week, then DH doing it with me not in the room for a week...then we would switch off, so he was used to either one of us doing it. The non-bedtime doer who was just in the room would just kind of sit and hang out on the floor next to the bed...kind of boring and uncomfortable, but it was only a few nights.

DS didn't start falling asleep on his own until he was close to 4 (he's now almost 6 and does fine with us just checking in on him a few times), and DD is 3-1/2 and *can* fall asleep on her own, though she is not impressed by the idea and lets us know it.









Good luck!


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## StrawberryFields (Apr 6, 2005)

We always laid with my ds and he is turning 4 next week. He still needs someone to lay with him or sit in the room. It must just be his personality because my dd will be 2 in January and she can fall asleep on her own without anyone in there.

Obviously I don't have a real solution for you since my ds still needs that parent there to help transition him into sleeping. HOWEVER, I can say that I had another baby when ds was 2, and I am having a third baby now that he is turning 4, and we have survived it just fine.









Dh and I normally divide and conquer the kids at bedtime but there are lots of times when I have to do it alone. When dd was an infant what I could do was sit on the bed with ds while nursing the baby and just stay there until ds fell asleep. I also utilized a baby swing for dd to keep her occupied while I got ds to sleep.

Now that they are older I generally set ds up with a movie, get dd to bed, then come back and get ds to bed.


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *StrawberryFields* 
When dd was an infant what I could do was sit on the bed with ds while nursing the baby and just stay there until ds fell asleep.

Oh yeah, I did this too on nights that DH wasn't around for bedtime.


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## ProtoLawyer (Apr 16, 2007)

6.5.

Right around 6 it got BRUTAL--if whoever was supposed to be snuggling her to sleep had to get up and go to the bathroom, or get a drink of water to keep from choking, she screamed that she was being abandoned, I hate yous, shoes thrown at walls, "mommy, mommy, where are you? please come get me! I'm here and I'm scared and I don't want to go to Daddy's anymore!". (This would happen after, oh, 30 seconds.) Heck, if that person changed position to one she didn't like, she'd kick, but have the same breakdown if whoever she kicked even said anything about it. And because snuggling her to sleep could take up to 90 minutes (!), chances are, one of the above would happen.

And then, for some reason, very abruptly, it got better.

But for awhile, it was awful, and I was going back and forth on the whole "evil stepmother" thing and wondering if CIO would work on a first grader (I do believe she could have stayed up all night crying if we'd let her, so probably not).

We will probably do things differently with any future children--no, not CIO, but perhaps something gentler (NCCS?) to let them know it's OK and safe to sleep.


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## babymonster (Oct 1, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *The4OfUs* 
We started with DH in the room but me still doing bedtime for a week, then DH doing bedtime but me still in the room for a week, then DH doing it with me not in the room for a week...then we would switch off, so he was used to either one of us doing it.

That sounds like a good plan!







I think I might also start trying to sit in bed with him rather than being too squished together.


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## lindsayjean (Jun 17, 2006)

Our transition was from laying on our bed with her, to her laying on her mattress on our floor and me sitting on our bed near her (which took forEVER!!) to sitting on her floor in her room next to her while she fell asleep (took even longer lol), to eventually being able to say goodnight and leaving her in her toddler bed. I think she was about 2 when we were able to leave her alone in her own room and she actually went to sleep. I guess we started the transition semi- early because I was expecting. Now I just have to say goodnight and she stays in her bed all night. The transition took a WHILE, but it was worth it. My DD was vocal early, so it helped explaining it to her so she didn't think we were just LEAVING her.


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