# Gone but not forgotten...



## RosePetal (Feb 7, 2005)

Today is another sad day for me. My third pregnancy and my third loss. Third time was not a charm, but I do feel a little lucky that it happened so much earlier than last time. I was 13 weeks last January when I m/c, I was only 6 weeks this time. The contractions were not nearly as severe so I feel lucky that I was spared that kind of pain. I passed it at 5pm today.
I didn't go to the hospital this time, I felt very sure of that decision. I called my dr though and he saw me this morning. He wanted to do an internal, for which I said, "what's the point?!" I'm going through the motions now, there's no sense in poking around...it would be too upsetting for me anyway. So instead he sent me up to get some blood work. At least now I get a referral to a gyno...maybe she can figure out what is wrong with me!
I'm angry and I'm hurt. I'm trying so hard to be strong...but I just feel broken. I know that the role of 'mommy' is right for me. We weren't even really trying to get pregnant, we were just celebrating our one-year wedding anniversary! (We are a "if it happens, it happens and we will be joyful" kind of couple) But I know in my heart it is the one role in my life that I want and I know I would give my all for it.
People say that they know women who have had several m/c and have 2,3,4 healthy children...which may help in the future, but right now in this present minute that makes me want to throw my computer out the window.
WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS?!! I'm a good person. I see people all the time with children whom they could not care less about, but they could have 14 if they so desired. So why is it that the women who are really deserving go through all of this heartache?
I'm sorry...I don't mean to be so heartless right now...I'm just so hurt.
Things will look better in the morning. A new day a new beginning, but for right now, for today...I'm just going to hang my head down and cry.

I want to thank all the girls who have been supportive when I came back to tell the world my news, and for all those who read my rant and understand...I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
As soon as I see my new doctor and know what is going on, I'll be back...until next time, farewell. And may each of you be blessed with a healthy baby.

Andrea


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## AllyRae (Dec 10, 2003)

I am so sorry for the loss of your baby.


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## Eggie (Aug 7, 2003)




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## JLav (Mar 11, 2003)

Be gentle with yourself during this time. I'm so sorry for your losses and you're right you don't deserve this, no one does.


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## nydiagonz (Jun 29, 2005)

Andrea







I am so sorry. Take care of yourself sweetie, and it's OK to rant. Life is just so unfair. I wish you much peace and strength.


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## Ben's Mommy (Aug 11, 2005)

I am so sorry.







please be easy on yourself.


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## taradt (Jun 10, 2003)

I am sorry for your loss. You have every right to be angry about the unfairness of it because it is very unfair.
Take extra care of yourself during this hard time and I hope you get some awnsers soon

tara


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## coleslaw (Nov 11, 2002)

I am so very sorry for your losses. No one deserves what you have been through.


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## gabry (Jan 21, 2004)

Andrea, I am so sorry for your loss. It's okay to be mad and angry, I think most of us go through that. Some for a little bit, some for a while. And really, it isn't fair, no matter what greater plan or what scientific explanation may be behind it.
Take good care of yourself.


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## HoosierDiaperinMama (Sep 23, 2003)

Gentle ((((hugs)))). I'm so sorry you are going through this.







I hate that anyone has to feel this pain.







Take good care of yourself.







s


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