# waiting for natural miscarriage with no support



## mommameow (Oct 21, 2008)

I think I posted this in the wrong forums earlier (sorry!)

I've been reading these forums incessantly lately and I feel like now I am ready to tell my situation. I went in for my first DR visit at 19 weeks (because of extenuating circumstances I was not able to commit to any earlier appointments- I know, my own fault I admit) and after pelvic exam the DR said my uterus was at 8 weeks not nineteen. After multiple bllod tests and excruciating days of not knowing, we found out my HCG levels were flatlining in the 500's. I came to the realization that I was having a miscarriage but had very few other details. The DR thought it was possibly a blighted ovum. Honestly I was clinging to the hope that there never actually was a baby there. So, my next appt was not for a whole week, for an internal ultrasound to get more info. I was beginning to go a little nuts not knowing and the DR I am dealing with was getting rude and frustrated with my calls (only 2!) and questions. I told him I was on an emotional roller coaster and just needed to know and he slightly raised his voice and said "there is no roller coaster! there is no viable pregnancy!" I honestly have come to terms with that part OK but the fear of the upcoming procedures and not having ANY reassurance from him has been truely the hard part.
Anyway, since I couldn't stand the wait, I went down to the ER where a family member works and he got me an ultrasound within an hour. This is when we found the little one. 13 week head size 14 week femur. (DH has really long thighs!) I am assuming the fetal demise was around 13 weeks but the report says 14. Hard to see, but at least now I know! So now DR wants me to wait until Tuesday for the internal U/S to be certain that it isn't over 16 weeks and too late to do D&C, in that case we would induce.
My issues are, I have been reading everything I can find online and have come to the conclusion that the D&C is risky for a missed miscarriage early in the second tri and I have a 30% chance of developing Ashermans Syndrome from adhesions on the uterus due to the scraping. I have no faith or trust in this DR so I am absolutley petrified of this and I know all of my subsequent pregrancies will be plagued with this fear.
I have been taking the cohoshes and motherwort, hoping to encourage the contractions. Not much of a response from my body. I have been spotting really minimally with no cramping. I assume until my HCG levels get to point, my body won't begin to react. If the numbers are correct, I am now 20 weeks into the pregnancy, and the baby has been gone for 7. I am scared that this is a long time to wait for a natural miscarriage but the DR said the chances of infection are really rare and usually only happen with later term pregnancies.
Is anyone else out there waiting too? How long has it been for you? Have you found anything that helps?
Oh another thing- I am not opposed to the misoprostol but the DR said I am 'not a candidate' for that although I have ready on the American Journal of OB and Gyn website that it is safe and effective for second tri miscarriages.
Help! My appt is Tue and I don't want this guy forcing me into doing something that may be easier and more profitable (cynical I know) for him.
I have had 3 healthy kids so far, 2 of which were born at home, so I am OK with the pain ect, but I am so scared of not being able to have kids b/c of the d&c.
Sorry for the long post, it felt good to spell all this out though....
-mommameow


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## Manessa (Feb 24, 2003)

Not much advice, just







s

Do you think it might be helpful to try and find another doctor or possibly a CNM who might be more willing to listen to your wishes?


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## MovingMomma (Apr 28, 2004)

Oh, momma. It sounds like this dr is really not a good choice for you. Is there another OB you can see?


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## kangaroomum25 (Jun 21, 2007)

I'm thinking as long as there was no sign of infection (and I'd up my vitamin c) I'd just wait for as long as it took. Unplug the phone and avoid the dr. Have you tried nipple stimulation along with the cohoshes?


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## mommameow (Oct 21, 2008)

Here in Pa we have a ongoing medical malpractice crisis: malpractice insurance went so high that many DR's left the state to practice elsewhere.
This leaves us with few OB/GYN's to choose from. I already tried to switch but no one else in my area will pick me up b/c I am 'his' patient. I was told they don't want to step on each others toes.
Still, I have decided that after my u/s on Tue I will request my file and go to the next county over where the health center has 2 midwives on staff. I already spoke to them and they said they will take me on, I just won't be able to get an appt for maybe a week.
Ahhh the waiting.
This stuff is so intense. Someone just told me 'Women are like tea: the hotter the water the sronger they become"
I like that.
Thanks for the concern.
mommameow


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## mommameow (Oct 21, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kangaroomum25* 
I'm thinking as long as there was no sign of infection (and I'd up my vitamin c) I'd just wait for as long as it took. Unplug the phone and avoid the dr. Have you tried nipple stimulation along with the cohoshes?









That sounds like fun! Come to think of it last night DH and I found a few moments alone and afterwards I had some extra spotting.
I'm sure he wouldn't protest...


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## rsummer (Oct 27, 2006)

What an intense experience, not to a have your physician be supportive of you. I'm sorry you lost your person.


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## SMR (Dec 21, 2004)

I'm sorry momma. I've got no words of wisdom.. just be gentle with yourself and I hope nature takes it's course soon.


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## millefleur (Nov 25, 2008)

I'm so very sorry, mama. We are here to support you.









I recently learned from experience (and the wisdom of the ladies on this board) that if you are patient and can handle it emotionally, in many cases you can wait for a natural miscarriage to occur on its own.

Physically, unless you have a fever or are showing any other signs of infection, you can wait it out for a while. You can also try things like acupuncture, and/or tinctures of black cohosh & blue cohosh with pennyroyal.

I also hope that you will find support with the midwives in the next county. Keep us posted!


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## infinipede (Feb 22, 2009)

I started spotting Jan 24th, and by Jan 30th I got an ultarsound. Baby had died at 9 weeks, I was at 11 weeks at the time of ultrasound. Baby's been dead about a month now, still has not come out.
I have tried cotton root bark tincture, parsel in my girlie parts, eseentail oils of thyme and basil on my belly, orgasms, acupuncture twice, craniosacral theraoy, art , journaling, surrendering, eating really well, getting everyone to give me Reiki, giving myself Reiki, healing stones in my hand/pocket, getting enough sleep, and my girlfriends did a rotual/ceremony with me too. I'm getting better emotionally. Midwife friends support me and think I'm in a normal range for this baby to still have not come out. They are not worried. My grandma was worried and encouraged me to call OB/GYN. they are all fearbased and worried and I have an appt with them Tues to be checked out and discuss options. I'm not looking fwd to dealing with them. Everytime I do I feel disempowered. Anyway, just wanted to tell you, you are not alone. I'm waiting right along with you sister! And I sware I think I am ovulating (pimple near corner of mouth, and my vag secretions are totally like fertile kind). I'm hoping if that is so, the cycle will push entire contents of uterus out when period begins? I haven't been able to find out the exact hormonal process of miscarriage online. We'll see.


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## Amy&4girls (Oct 30, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommameow* 
I think I posted this in the wrong forums earlier (sorry!)

I've been reading these forums incessantly lately and I feel like now I am ready to tell my situation. I went in for my first DR visit at 19 weeks (because of extenuating circumstances I was not able to commit to any earlier appointments- I know, my own fault I admit) and after pelvic exam the DR said my uterus was at 8 weeks not nineteen. After multiple bllod tests and excruciating days of not knowing, we found out my HCG levels were flatlining in the 500's. I came to the realization that I was having a miscarriage but had very few other details. The DR thought it was possibly a blighted ovum. Honestly I was clinging to the hope that there never actually was a baby there. So, my next appt was not for a whole week, for an internal ultrasound to get more info. I was beginning to go a little nuts not knowing and the DR I am dealing with was getting rude and frustrated with my calls (only 2!) and questions. I told him I was on an emotional roller coaster and just needed to know and he slightly raised his voice and said "there is no roller coaster! there is no viable pregnancy!" I honestly have come to terms with that part OK but the fear of the upcoming procedures and not having ANY reassurance from him has been truely the hard part.
Anyway, since I couldn't stand the wait, I went down to the ER where a family member works and he got me an ultrasound within an hour. This is when we found the little one. 13 week head size 14 week femur. (DH has really long thighs!) I am assuming the fetal demise was around 13 weeks but the report says 14. Hard to see, but at least now I know! So now DR wants me to wait until Tuesday for the internal U/S to be certain that it isn't over 16 weeks and too late to do D&C, in that case we would induce.
My issues are, I have been reading everything I can find online and have come to the conclusion that the D&C is risky for a missed miscarriage early in the second tri and I have a 30% chance of developing Ashermans Syndrome from adhesions on the uterus due to the scraping. I have no faith or trust in this DR so I am absolutley petrified of this and I know all of my subsequent pregrancies will be plagued with this fear.
I have been taking the cohoshes and motherwort, hoping to encourage the contractions. Not much of a response from my body. I have been spotting really minimally with no cramping. I assume until my HCG levels get to point, my body won't begin to react. If the numbers are correct, I am now 20 weeks into the pregnancy, and the baby has been gone for 7. I am scared that this is a long time to wait for a natural miscarriage but the DR said the chances of infection are really rare and usually only happen with later term pregnancies.
Is anyone else out there waiting too? How long has it been for you? Have you found anything that helps?
Oh another thing- I am not opposed to the misoprostol but the DR said I am 'not a candidate' for that although I have ready on the American Journal of OB and Gyn website that it is safe and effective for second tri miscarriages.
Help! My appt is Tue and I don't want this guy forcing me into doing something that may be easier and more profitable (cynical I know) for him.
I have had 3 healthy kids so far, 2 of which were born at home, so I am OK with the pain ect, but I am so scared of not being able to have kids b/c of the d&c.
Sorry for the long post, it felt good to spell all this out though....
-mommameow









I am so sorry.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *infinipede* 
I started spotting Jan 24th, and by Jan 30th I got an ultarsound. Baby had died at 9 weeks, I was at 11 weeks at the time of ultrasound. Baby's been dead about a month now, still has not come out.
I have tried cotton root bark tincture, parsel in my girlie parts, eseentail oils of thyme and basil on my belly, orgasms, acupuncture twice, craniosacral theraoy, art , journaling, surrendering, eating really well, getting everyone to give me Reiki, giving myself Reiki, healing stones in my hand/pocket, getting enough sleep, and my girlfriends did a rotual/ceremony with me too. I'm getting better emotionally. Midwife friends support me and think I'm in a normal range for this baby to still have not come out. They are not worried. My grandma was worried and encouraged me to call OB/GYN. they are all fearbased and worried and I have an appt with them Tues to be checked out and discuss options. I'm not looking fwd to dealing with them. Everytime I do I feel disempowered. Anyway, just wanted to tell you, you are not alone. I'm waiting right along with you sister! And I sware I think I am ovulating (pimple near corner of mouth, and my vag secretions are totally like fertile kind). I'm hoping if that is so, the cycle will push entire contents of uterus out when period begins? I haven't been able to find out the exact hormonal process of miscarriage online. We'll see.

I'm so sorry for your loss.


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