# help



## eblindauer (Mar 20, 2011)

what would u do if both bedrooms where on the top of the stairs and there was no way of putting a gate up on the top for theres no place to anchor one... and because of this both my sons sleep in our room in their beds, but its hard on our sex life and sleeping for they are always there and we want to try for another one but dont want to until we can figure out a safe way to put our kids in their own bedroom. oh and i cannot just gate their door for they can climb them btw.


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## EzzysMom (Mar 24, 2008)

if you need to be able to lock them in, put a high eye hook on the outside of the door. You will then probably always be awakened to banging and screaming, but it won't let them fall down the stairs.


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## eblindauer (Mar 20, 2011)

i guess i never really thought of that... we have to do that with our bathroom... but if i do that ill be scared i wont hear them! lol


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## Marissamom (Dec 17, 2009)

I'm pretty sure there are gates made for the top of the stairs that can attach to banister poles without ruining them, they attach using something like a zip-tie


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## mkksmom (Mar 24, 2008)

My mom had to put a chain lock on my brother's door. He was a climber and broke into the medicine. He could open the door and yell out, but couldn't come out. But you could just use a baby monitor too.


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## eblindauer (Mar 20, 2011)

the problem is there is no banister at the top of the stairs. the top 3 stairs are at the halway entrence up stairs that leads either into our room or the right to the boys room... so theres no place to attach a gate to anything.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Marissamom*
> 
> I'm pretty sure there are gates made for the top of the stairs that can attach to banister poles without ruining them, they attach using something like a zip-tie


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## eblindauer (Mar 20, 2011)

wow i really feel dumb i never thought of using a monitor with lock. though lock kinda scares me a bit... but its better than them always in our room or falling down the stairs!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *mkksmom*
> 
> My mom had to put a chain lock on my brother's door. He was a climber and broke into the medicine. He could open the door and yell out, but couldn't come out. But you could just use a baby monitor too.


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## alicia622 (May 8, 2005)

they make really tall gates that may work and you could also use a baby monitor to make sure you hear them. I think locking them in the room is a terrible idea. Not safe in the rare possibility of fire and I just hate the idea of locking a kid in their room- might be related to my line of work and hearing about children being locked away for long periods of time...


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## APToddlerMama (Oct 5, 2009)

What about putting one of those door knob things on the inside of their door that keeps them from opening it and then bells or something on their door handle so you would definitely hear them if they are jiggling it? We had to duct tape our door knob things together because DS could figure out how to pop them off and open the door, but the duct tape prevents him from breaking it and he still can't figure out how to open the door with it on. I can hear him jiggling to from far away and with bells you would hear for sure.

Alternatively, you could have sex in another room...


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## contactmajik (Jun 17, 2011)

Most likely, I would just have sex in another room. Locking kids in their rooms scares me.


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## eblindauer (Mar 20, 2011)

yeah the locking thing scares me. i guess your right we have plenty of other areas to have sex lmao. but i dont want to make a habbit of them sleeping in our room so once they are old enough to not worry about what they get into so much and we know theyll wake us up then they might not want to be in their own room lol but thanks for your ideal so far ladies!


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## MariesMama (Sep 26, 2008)

Could you switch their bedroom door with a kind of dutch door, and just lock the bottom half? Or would they be able to climb that?


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

Do you think they could climb an extra tall gate like this one?

http://www.walmart.com/ip/Dream-Baby-Extra-Tall-Swing-Close-Gate-Black/5691050#BVSecondaryCustomerRatings

I think it's a good solution, as it leaves their bedroom door open so you can hear and see them.


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## eblindauer (Mar 20, 2011)

wow i never seen it and i was looking at walmart! thanks i think that is gonna be the first thing i try!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *journeymom*
> 
> Do you think they could climb an extra tall gate like this one?
> 
> ...


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

I'm sorry, but I think I'm missing something.

What is your concern here? You can't leave your kids in their room because...? My kids' rooms are upstairs, but if they woke in the night they would come into our room. Additionally, it looks like your kids are a wee bit older--- can't they handle the stairs? Or are you concerned that they sneak downstairs and out the front door or something?

And, btw, many children sleep in their parents room when young and transition later without problems.


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## zebra15 (Oct 2, 2009)

I would rather have a good lock or locks on the front/back door then lock my child in the bedroom.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *TiredX2*
> 
> I'm sorry, but I think I'm missing something.
> 
> ...


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## Adaline'sMama (Apr 16, 2010)

Please dont lock your children in a room. Have sex somewhere else, or turn a room downstairs into a bedroom for them.

Locking children in their room is a HUGE fire hazard.


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## MsFortune (Dec 5, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Adaline'sMama*
> 
> Please dont lock your children in a room. Have sex somewhere else, or turn a room downstairs into a bedroom for them.
> 
> Locking children in their room is a HUGE fire hazard.


Not true. In a fire, the best thing is to keep kids contained where you know they are and can find them. Small kids tend to do things like hide when there is a fire - not find their way out of a house.


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## Honey693 (May 5, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Adaline'sMama*
> 
> Please dont lock your children in a room. Have sex somewhere else, or turn a room downstairs into a bedroom for them.
> 
> Locking children in their room is a HUGE fire hazard.


How? Cribs aren't fire hazards and locking a kid in their room just seems like an extension of a crib. I'd much rather have my 3 year old locked in her room in case of a fire than be frantically searching a burning house for her b/c she freaked out and hid.


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

I remember a fireman mentioned once he really wished parents would shut their childrens' bedroom doors because that's one more barrier to smoke and fire. A bedroom door doesn't stop smoke or fire but it slows it down, which might make the difference between life and death.

That said, my son prefers to sleep with his door open and I let him.

Eblindauer, glad to help! I hope the gate is a good solution.


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## APToddlerMama (Oct 5, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Adaline'sMama*
> 
> Please dont lock your children in a room. Have sex somewhere else, or turn a room downstairs into a bedroom for them.
> 
> Locking children in their room is a HUGE fire hazard.


I understand this is the gut reaction of a lot of people, but the bottom line is either a young child can or cannot get out of a house in the event of a fire. If the front door is unlocked and so is the bedroom, they can potentially get out (not that most probably would make their way out in a fire...). That means that they could also potentially get out in the middle of the night when there is no fire. Which is not safe. I just saw something on the news about a four year old sleep walking on the highway. Alternatively, a parent can lock them in their room which prevents them from leaving/falling down the stairs/etc. but there is a fire risk, sure, maybe. I think a fire is less likely than a fall down the steps at night, etc, and firefighters at least would know where a child was if they were locked in their room and could rescue them. If not, they could be anywhere in the house or outside.


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

The OP's children are 3 years old and 1 1/2 years old. It's not a good idea for children this age to be up and wandering around at night while the adults are asleep. They could fall down the stairs. They could get safely down stairs but then get into the kitchen. They could get into the toilet. The safe place for them at night is in a bed, in their own room or parents' room. The OP is brainstorming how to find a safe sleep solution that works for her whole family -including herself and her partner.


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## quantumleap (Apr 13, 2006)

Honestly, our dd is younger than your oldest, and she has been able to handle stairs and being in her own room safely for a long time now. Are you a really deep sleeper? I really think you will wake up if they leave their room, especially if you shut (but don't lock) their door and leave yours open. Extra especially if you also use a baby monitor. You know your kids, but when dd wakes up, she's in our room before she's even got her eyes open! She's spirited, and a daredevil, but she's not once tried to do anything but get in to bed with us!

It did occur to me that a screen door may (or may not!) be a cheaper alternative. Those handles can be tough to work for grown ups, and would still allow for visibility/hearing. I'd install it so that the side of the door with the locking mechanism is on the outside, just so they wouldn't accidentally lock themselves in. I also think that the Gosslins of Jon and Kate + 8 had full-on, un-climbable baby gates back in the day. (?) Hope you figure something out!


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