# How can I get my 12 month old to stop pinching!



## Neve (Jan 13, 2007)

My beautiful and happy 12 month old girl has been a pincher since early on. But lately, as she gets stronger, this REALLY hurts. Whenever we pick her up, she almost instantly grabs at our necks, arms, whatever she can grab onto. It may have started with my husband and our caregiver--they both wear glasses and she would normally grab at their glasses, but now she grabs at anything that is skin!

I'm sure this is normal, so please either tell me that it will pass, or that I should start doing something about it. Our skin will thank you kindly.









Thanks mamas!

Geneve


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## rahans (Feb 29, 2008)

My 16 month old has been doing this too for several months. It seems to be getting worse. I tell him no pinching Mommy but he just laughs. He has also started playful slapping of my face, head - whatever he can get to and thinks it's hilarious. I'm not sure what to do either. I'm hoping he will grow out of it but it can hurt (the pinching especially). Sometimes I want to laugh with him (cos he really is amused with it) but I'm afraid this will encourage him more! I know this doesn't answer your question but you are not alone. I'm hoping to get some advice too on this.


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## kacymoose (May 18, 2008)

One of my twins was a pincher, and my husband and I would try to pass him off on each other at church because we didn't want to be pinched.







I think he just grew out of it, and never did it maliciously.

I would try redirecting. Keep something handy that he can pinch instead when he starts to pinch you. Also, try not to react too much, because he may just do it to see the reaction.


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## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

Try to keep her calm, and keep some things with you for her to fiddle with.


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## grassisgreener1334 (Nov 24, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *paulagaddy* 
My 16 month old has been doing this too for several months. It seems to be getting worse. I tell him no pinching Mommy but he just laughs. He has also started playful slapping of my face, head - whatever he can get to and thinks it's hilarious. I'm not sure what to do either. I'm hoping he will grow out of it but it can hurt (the pinching especially). Sometimes I want to laugh with him (cos he really is amused with it) but I'm afraid this will encourage him more! I know this doesn't answer your question but you are not alone. I'm hoping to get some advice too on this.

My almost 17-month-old does the EXACT same thing--the playful slapping and pinching and when we try to get him to stop he just laughs. It definitely feels like it's just a phase...I wish I knew how to make it pass sooner rather than later!


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## nighten (Oct 18, 2005)

I agree with lolar2. And would add, there's nothing wrong with gently pulling her hand away from your skin and stroking your arm (or whatever), and saying, "Mama likes gentle touches please" or something to that effect. It's always a good thing to give them an alternative that is acceptable, I think.


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## rahans (Feb 29, 2008)

gently pulling her hand away from your skin and stroking your arm (or whatever), and saying, "Mama likes gentle touches please" or something to that effect. .[/QUOTE]
I have been trying this for the past couple days and it seems to be working. I know it will take time but he seems to be just as amused by stroking my arm or face as with hitting it.


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## LaLaLaLa (Oct 29, 2007)

My DS is 28 months old and still a hardcore pincher. It's one of his major self-soothing methods--one thumb in his mouth and the other hand pinching someone's neck or (his favorite!) the web of skin in between someone's thumb and forefinger. It's better than when he was still breastfeeding and was really good at pinching my ribcage or under my arm while he nursed. It was never malicious, and he doesn't pinch when angry, just when he is tired and settling himself down.

At this point DH and I usually say "no pinching, please!" and shake his hand off. He is old enough to understand what we are saying, even when he doesn't like it. Sometimes we can redirect him to something else, although when he is really sleepy he doesn't like to be distracted by hand-holding or high-fiving or arm stroking. He's taken to pinching his own neck when we stand firm, which doesn't thrill us but we figure he'll stop if he's hurting himself. Like so many other things, you might just have to be patient, present other options, and wait it out.

Good luck!


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## tatermom (Jun 11, 2005)

It's definitely just a phase, and I don't think there's that much you can do. When my 1st DS was around a year old he enjoyed hitting us in the face and laughing. The main thing I would do was to try to anticipate and catch his hand, hold it gently but firmly and tell him calmly (but firmly) "no hitting; hitting hurts mommy" and continue to hold his hand for a few seconds until the impulse seemed to have passed (usually it was in the initial excitement of being picked up or other times like that). He didn't really enjoy having his hand held (but I didn't enjoy getting hit!) so it ended up being less of a fun game for him. We also showed him how to do "gentle" touches. Now, DS2 is a hair-puller, and he's not responding quite as well to this strategy... but I thought I'd throw it out there anyway in case it worked for you.


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