# The Bumbo Baby Sitter (baby chair)



## SoBlessed (May 17, 2006)

What do you guys know about the The Bumbo Baby Sitter? It's designed to enable a baby between 3-6 mos to be seated unaided in a upright sitting position.


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

I don't think it's developmentally appropriate.

-Angela


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## EvansMomma (Mar 7, 2006)

This question quite often results in some heated debate on here.
Not sure why...I mean I think it's just one of those things that fall into the "in moderation" category. It's a nice little something for your baby to sit in once in a while, but is like many other baby gear items and can be abused.

Just don't leave your baby in it for hours and hours, and I'm sure it's fine. We used it for a bit, but Evan didn't like it very much. He's not one for feeling confined to something, so he would buck like a wild horse to get out of it.


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## Chronic Chrissy (Sep 4, 2006)

I've seen it on "yummy mummys" and thought it was pretty interesting especially since they claimed it couldn't be tipped. I warn you now though alot of people here are going to tell you it's bad because it's not "developmentally appropriate." But if you DC really wants to sit and needs a little help cause he gets frustrated I don't see the problem with you weighing the pros and cons and making a choice. Remember follow your insticts.


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## aisraeltax (Jul 2, 2005)

i use it as a highchair when we are out and about...but didnt use it until around 6 months. he could sit but i didnt feel comfortable with the restaurant highchairs.


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## mommyto3girls (May 3, 2005)

I used it with Sage from just over 6 months until around 9-10 months. We also used it as a highchair when we went ot restaurants because she couldn't sit it that style chair. Sage was early and didn't sit until a bit over 7 months. She wanted so badly to be able to sit and be a part of things and this allowed her to do that. Again, it is all about how and when you use it


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## nonnymoose (Mar 12, 2004)

DS2 is four months and as soon as his butt hits the Bumbo, he arches his back and pops right back out of it. I'm going to take that as a "no" vote from him, at least for now.







I don't think we're going to be using ours too much until it's time for a high chair - I really like the idea of using it for that purpose, and ditching the huge regular plastic high chair that's clogging up our kitchen.


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## lovingmommyhood (Jul 28, 2006)

I love it. What a wonderful baby seat! It's awesome and my DS loves sitting in his.


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## MsGrizzle (Jun 3, 2005)

I had no idea it was "developmentally inappropriate".







A friend of my mom's gave ds one. He is 3 months old and it basically molds to them so they can sit. How is it any different than sitting upright in my lap leaning against me??? He uses it maybe 10 minutes a day and he gets the proudest look on his face. Then he lets me know he is done and we take him out of it. I usually sit him in it when playing board games with my older son and I think Nathan thinks he is part of the action. Then when tired of it, he sits in my lap. You can actually see him sitting in it *just fine* in a pic on the link below.

My silly, skinny 6 year old also thinks it is really fun to sit in as well!


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## Joannarachel (Dec 10, 2005)

There are some people on here who will come down pretty harshly on people who use the Bumbo, to the point of saying "I'm amazed that someone on MDC would use this" (translation, if you use this you aren't good enough of a mother to be posting here)







:

I have it. I used it from about 3-6 months. It was convenient item for those inbetween months where she wanted to be upright and wasn't physically capable yet. I used it for brief moments occasionally...10 minutes when doing something I couldn't sling her for, like the laundry or cooking on the stove.

It did not lessen my attachment to her, it did not lessen her attachment to me, and it did not cause horrible back and hip problems.

Used IN MODERATION it is a cute, handy little thing, but not necessary by any means. It's pricey. I'd recommend borrowing from someone before you spend 40 bucks on something that will only be good for a few months.


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## lovingmommyhood (Jul 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *soapdiva* 
I had no idea it was "developmentally inappropriate".









I wouldn't have even asked if I were you soapdiva.







Is right.


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## Greenie (Sep 27, 2005)

All bolding is mine.








Quote:


Originally Posted by *soapdiva* 
*I had no idea it was "developmentally inappropriate".*







A friend of my mom's gave ds one. He is 3 months old and it basically molds to them so they can sit. How is it any different than sitting upright in my lap leaning against me??? He uses it maybe 10 minutes a day and he gets the proudest look on his face. Then he lets me know he is done and we take him out of it. I usually sit him in it when playing board games with my older son and I think Nathan thinks he is part of the action. Then when tired of it, he sits in my lap. You can actually see him sitting in it *just fine* in a pic on the link below.

My silly, skinny 6 year old also thinks it is really fun to sit in as well!

Yeah. I TOTALLY AGREE. I think that when something is "developmentally appropriate", your DC will be the first to let you know. MY DS started using his around 4 months, and really loved it. Not all the time, of course, but when he did sit in it, it was something that he seemed to enjoy. When he was done, he let us know.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Joannarachel* 
There are some people on here who will come down pretty harshly on people who use the Bumbo, to the point of saying "I'm amazed that someone on MDC would use this" (*translation, if you use this you aren't good enough of a mother to be posting here*)







:

I have it. I used it from about 3-6 months. It was convenient item for those inbetween months where she wanted to be upright and wasn't physically capable yet. *I used it for brief moments occasionally...10 minutes when doing something I couldn't sling her for, like the laundry or cooking on the stove.*

*It did not lessen my attachment to her, it did not lessen her attachment to me, and it did not cause horrible back and hip problems.*

Used IN MODERATION it is a cute, handy little thing, but not necessary by any means. It's pricey. I'd recommend borrowing from someone before you spend 40 bucks on something that will only be good for a few months.

Yep. Exactly.









I totally reccomend getting one. It's awesome!







:


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## Decca (Mar 14, 2006)

I have one. I think it's "developmentally inappropriate" for my (almost) 4 month old baby right now because his head is still a little wobbly when he sits in it, but I look forward to using it in the future. He likes sitting up a lot when we pull him up, but he still slumps over in the Bumbo.


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## nighten (Oct 18, 2005)

We love ours and use it in *moderation* for sure. I don't see how it's developmentally inappropriate, since it causes them to sit with legs slightly higher than bum, so their weight is on their bottom, not their spine -- it causes her to sit the same way she sat in my Kozy mei tai, and I doubt you'll find many here who'll argue THAT'S not a healthy way for babies to be.

Anyway, if you decide to try it, just make sure not to use it in the tub, and to ALWAYS be right there when baby's in it, as they can flip out by arching their backs. Also don't put it on a table or raised or uneven surface, but those are common sense things to me. *shrugs*

We like ours very much, our pediatrician AND chiropractor both said it wasn't harmful to her in any way (both are pretty crunchy, btw), and we plan to use it as a booster seat in restaurants soon, as she's already sitting up on her own nearly unassisted nonstop now.

But the bottom line is, if you don't feel in your gut it's a good thing, then don't use it. And if baby doesn't like it, don't use it. But our babe enjoys sitting in it on the floor while I'm in the kitchen doing things I can't do with her in the sling. And I wasn't comfy putting her in the exersaucer until she could firmly put her weight on her feet (we aren't fans of putting weight on baby's crotch as it's not a weight-bearing area of the body), so the bumbo was a great alternative, since she would cry if lying on a blanket (she LOVES to sit up to see). Anyway, it's definitely been a help for us. And I'm very glad we have one.

But the key with it (as with anything except being in mama's arms) is moderation and go with your gut.

ETA: I have heard in the past people argue that babies shouldn't be in a seated/upright position until they're able to do so on their own and forgive me for saying so, but I think that's silly. Guinevere has preferred to by upright since day one and when in our laps would fuss if she wasn't "sitting up."


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## Greenie (Sep 27, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Decca* 
I have one. I think it's "developmentally inappropriate" for my (almost) 4 month old baby right now because his head is still a little wobbly when he sits in it, but I look forward to using it in the future. He likes sitting up a lot when we pull him up, but he still slumps over in the Bumbo.

Yeah, I started using mine once DS could hold his head up really well.

We never got a high chair b/c we had the Bumbo. Now DS just eats wherever we are.


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## mommyto3girls (May 3, 2005)

They are often used in Physical Therapy with premies and babies with low muscle tone. There is some mention to it on the bumbo seat main homepage

Sage is 16 months and Maia is almost 4 and they both like it as a booster or just a place to hang out and read a book (not sure why, I think they like the woord "Bumbo")


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## nighten (Oct 18, 2005)

Oh yeah -- I forgot to add that -- please don't use it until your babe has strong head control.


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## lovingmommyhood (Jul 28, 2006)

My DS is 3 months old today and has sat in it for 2 weeks wonderfully. He holds his head up very well and is quite strong. It all depends on the baby.


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## ArtistMama (Sep 19, 2006)

Our dd was born with head control, and was sitting without support late in her second month of life. This was not worth buying for us. She thought it was hilariously funny, so maybe it was worth the three minute giggle fit we got when we first tried it, but overall not worth buying. It made for some cute photo shoots a couple times, and got no further use.

She was VERY chubby and didn't fit in it long anyway. Her thighs were just too fat for the leg holes. Also, she could get out of it by arching her back and popping out over the back of it. We didn't use it much.

Probably e-bay bound...


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## nighten (Oct 18, 2005)

ArtistMama has a good point: definitely try it out in the store first -- some babies might be too chunky to be comfy, for sure! Bumbos come out the box easily.


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## StrawberryFields (Apr 6, 2005)

I don't think it's developmentally appropriate. Nothing to do with attachment or lack of attachment.


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## northwoods1995 (Nov 17, 2003)

We don't have one. I admit I was a little turned off by them when I first saw them. But I hear a lot of moms rave about them. I thought they looked like they would be hard and uncomfortable for the baby but lots of babies like them I hear. Like pp have said--I think it's one of those things that just should be used in moderation.


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## MsGrizzle (Jun 3, 2005)

Quote:

be hard and uncomfortable for the baby but lots of babies like them I hear
It is actually made of a sort of soft, rubbery material that molds to the body. Seems like it would be comfy!


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## JamesMama (Jun 1, 2005)

I had one for my DS, he didn't care for it, but I plan on getting one for my friends DS because I think he'd really like it. She won't use it a lot, but I can see when it would be useful. Sometimes ya gotta clean house of fold laundry and her DS is getting too big for the swing. LOL

Oh, and I can see it being super useful in a resturant! When they outgrow the carseat but can't sit in a high chair.

I should add that my friends DS is nearly 6 months old so it's more developmentally appropriate for him, he's already trying to sit up but is unsteady yet.


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## lasciate (May 4, 2005)

My daughter would have let me know in no short order that it was 'developmentally inappropriate' - but she refused to sit in my lap until she had figured out how to sit on her own at 6 months. You should have seen the fit she threw if you tried to sit her down! Only standing was acceptable.


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## lasciate (May 4, 2005)

OT: How old does a baby have to be before they are old enough to sit in a highchair? We started using one at restaurants from 6 months on, with jackets piled behind her to fill the empty space in the chair.


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## sehbub (Mar 15, 2006)

I wish it was in the budget for us. DD has had amazing head and neck control for months, and starts yelling at us if she's NOT sitting up.







It's her favorite position, and any time she's even remotely reclining, she fights tooth and nail to pull herself in to a sitting position. I think a few minutes a day might make her happy, kwim?

Unfortunately we have no money, nor do I know anyone who doesn't use theirs anymore. Oh well. She'll probably be sitting by herself soon enough, or we'll just keep propping her up on the couch, although she yells if we go out of eyesight.


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## ArtistMama (Sep 19, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *StrawberryFields* 
I don't think it's developmentally appropriate. Nothing to do with attachment or lack of attachment.

Doesn't this depend on the baby? If you have a 3 month old who is sitting on their own...how is a little moulded butt chair inappropriate developmentally? Other than they don't need it?


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ArtistMama* 
Doesn't this depend on the baby? If you have a 3 month old who is sitting on their own...how is a little moulded butt chair inappropriate developmentally? Other than they don't need it?

Just that. Then they don't need it.

-Angela


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## basmom (Jun 4, 2006)

Nothing new to add. I just wanted to say "YEAH!" to the points already made about PTs using the Bumbo for babies with hypotonia..the seats are a much cheaper seating option than very pricey Tumbleforms for some kiddos. My 5 month old DS is just starting to like his... we love to have picnics on our living room floor with him. He watches us eat now, but I can't wait to use it as a highchair. I'm glad to hear that a Ped and a chiropractor have given it the green light. Follow your gut and your child's lead...and go for it!


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## ArtistMama (Sep 19, 2006)

I don't think the Bumbo harmed my child.


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## basmom (Jun 4, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ArtistMama* 
I don't think the Bumbo harmed my child.









I think your're right! Ben loves to sit up and it is really hard to fold clothes while he is grabbing at them and trying to eat them. I can distract him with a clean sock or t-shirt,but it's hard to balance him in my lap and fold. When he's in the seat, he smiles and "sings" (and eats an occasional sock!). So, hooray for the Bumbo!


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## Getz (May 22, 2005)

I love our bumbo! I used it for feeding when we started solids and he wasn't quite big enough for the high chair. I used it in moderation and don't think that makes me a bad mom. His development and attachment to me are both extremely healthy!


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## Chronic Chrissy (Sep 4, 2006)

We have a bar table(very high) and I've been trying to figure out the highchair issue before we get there, otherwise I was worried we would have to buy a new table(I love my bar table). But I think I've found my solution.

Would it be possible to attach one to a chair, I'm worried about the height and that the chairs are so slim. Maybe screwing it down and covering the screws with a thin rubber pad?


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## ArtistMama (Sep 19, 2006)

Chrissy- Bumbos can tip if baby arches back and pops out, and are not meant to be put up on a raised surface. They cannot be attached to a chair. There are booster seats for that, though.

This chair was really only a source of amusement for dd, and didn't serve any useful purpose for her. She thought it was funny and interesting for a little bit, but she never sat in it any length of time.

If I needed to fold laundry or something, I sat her with some toys on the floor with a boppy behind her in case she tipped over.

If you get one as a gift, or find it cheap somewhere it's good for a laugh. Or if you need it for PT or something. But otherwise, I wouldn't recommend it.


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## DandeCobb (Jul 20, 2006)

I also do not beleive it is developmentally inappropriate, it IS used by Physical therapists and before it became 'mainstream' i.e., sold in target, it was exclusivly used by PT and sold or given to families whose children needed help with physical dev. my son loves it, we also use it in restaurants, he is waay to small for highchairs. i think its like any other 'baby holder' <swing, bouncy seat, playpen, high chair, exersaucer, ect> and should not be baby's home!


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## SugarAndSun (Feb 6, 2005)

I used one for a bit. DS2 is very chunky and can't really fit in it anymore. He loves to sit up though and Ioften put him in it b/c otherwise I always had him in my lap and ds1 could never sit with me.

I have two very young boys and find myself putting ds2 down much more than I ever did with ds1. Perhaps others should consider before they judge. Also, why isn't it developmentally appropriate, but sitting in a lap is? Also, ds1 really liked ds2 in it b/c it felt more like we were all playing together as apposed to me sitting with ds2 while ds1 played.

My ds practically lives in a mei tai and would not want to be reclining all the time when he is out of it... though he does like rolling on the floor now.

I bought mine used and found that it wasn't really worth it for us since we didn't use it very long, but if you have a smaller babe it would be worth it.


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## nonconformnmom (May 24, 2005)

I think they are one of the most ridiculous baby products I've ever seen. I call it a "Dumbo seat".


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## Joannarachel (Dec 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nonconformnmom* 
I think they are one of the most ridiculous baby products I've ever seen. I call it a "Dumbo seat".

And that comment was necessary or helpful HOW?!







:

Alegna, just because a baby doesn't NEED it doesn't make it developmentally inappropriate. Babies don't need toys and books either, but they're nice to have around. My son has loved holding a rattle shapped like a blue dog from about 6 months old. He didn't NEED that blue dog. Is it developmentally inappropriate?


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## kezoo (Apr 6, 2005)

Well, we loved our Bumbo! Claire *hated* being not being able to see what we were doing while we were eating dinner (before she could sit up on her own, and was too floppy for the high-chair) - before we had the Bumbo, the only way you could eat your dinner was to have one of use hold her (and let dinner get cold) while the other scarfed down dinner so the other could eat! Once we got the Bumbo, she happily sat there, and everyone got a hot meal. She loved it so much, we took it round to everyone's house with us. Even now, at 15 months, she toddles over to it, sqeezes herself in and sits there proudly.







I agree w/ pp, that your baby will *definitely* let you know if s/he doesn't like it!


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## Awaken (Oct 10, 2004)

Oh, no. Here we go again! Bumbo seats, almost as evil as ear piercing and strollers.

FTR, I would have loved to have tried the bumbo seat when ds was younger. Both of mine were late sitters and it would have been fun to try it but it wasn't worth the $ to me.


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DandeCobb* 
I also do not beleive it is developmentally inappropriate, it IS used by Physical therapists and before it became 'mainstream' i.e., sold in target, it was exclusivly used by PT and sold or given to families whose children needed help with physical dev. my son loves it, we also use it in restaurants, he is waay to small for highchairs. i think its like any other 'baby holder' <swing, bouncy seat, playpen, high chair, exersaucer, ect> and should not be baby's home!

It was used by PTs for children that SHOULD be able to sit.

The op simply asked, I simply answered. No reason for people to get in a huff.

For those who asked- I think it puts infants in an unnatural position before they're ready to support themselves in that position. In a developmentally normal infant, when they are developmentally ready to sit, they will sit









Do I think they're evil? No. Do I think they can be overused or misused? Sure.

-Angela


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## usolyfan (Jul 2, 2006)

We have one and we use it a lot. We have a highchair but sometimes I alternate and use the Bumbo. Dd is almost nine months old and isn't sitting yet, and probably won't be for a while. It gives dd a chance to be upright and her PT likes it because it strengthens her trunk muscles. She loves it!


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## lovemysunshine (Jul 13, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alegna* 
For those who asked- I think it puts infants in an unnatural position before they're ready to support themselves in that position.

I have to agree with this statement. It's never looked right to me, but if it works for your DC, I'm not going to judge you. I just don't care for them myself.

My sister was working at a store that sold them this summer and she kept bugging me to try one for DS. So we went to the store and I put him in it. It just seemed really uncomfortable for him (he was about 4 months old) and he HATED it! Needless to say, we didn't try that again!


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## rebelbets (Jun 6, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nonconformnmom* 
I think they are one of the most ridiculous baby products I've ever seen. I call it a "Dumbo seat".

Huh. What a bizarre thing to say. What's so ridiculous about it?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alegna* 
It was used by PTs for children that SHOULD be able to sit.

For those who asked- I think it puts infants in an unnatural position before they're ready to support themselves in that position. In a developmentally normal infant, when they are developmentally ready to sit, they will sit









But what's the difference, really? My son is 9 months old and is not sitting up yet - he has some gross motor delays. His PT recommended a Bumbo for us, but his fat breastfed legs won't fit in the thing. Anyway, I don't see the difference between my 9-month-old son sitting in a Bumbo seat and a 5-month-old baby sitting in a Bumbo. If both are on the same page, developmentally speaking - not sitting unassisted, but with good head and trunk control - what makes the seat more appropriate for my child than for the younger child? So my child SHOULD be able to sit - so what? The point is that he can't, yet the Bumbo is still recommended for him. I mean, the Bumbo would put him into a position in which he is not yet ready to support himself, so would it be "developmentally inappropriate" for my kid? Nope.

My only complaint about the Bumbo is that it doesn't come in a larger size.


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

A younger child is not developmentally ready in any way. At 9 months a baby is "wired" if you will, to be interacting with the world in an upright manner.

-Angela


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## shiningpearl (Jul 1, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rebelbets* 
My only complaint about the Bumbo is that it doesn't come in a larger size.

I had the same problem w/ mine @ 4 months, I was able to get her in, but it was hard to get her out. She just looked like a big ball of pudge sitting in it, but she liked it for the total of an hour that we used it. Glad we borrowed on and didn't buy one.


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## runes (Aug 5, 2004)

i am a pediatric physical therapist.

i am quite frankly appalled that fellow therapists are using the bumbo. i see no therapeutic value in it whatsoever. we are supposed to help the child with their trunk and neck control and placing them into a passive seating device does neither.

a therapist worth their salt wouldn't be caught dead using one. that's what our years of schooling and taking continuing education count for...learning therapeutic handling techniques to facilitate trunk control and function.

for children without special needs, it's yet another useless piece of molded plastic. it is developmentally inappropriate to let a child sit in a passive positioning device of this nature. i can get into the biological basis of my statements if you like.

bring on the tomatoes.


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## AugustineM (Mar 21, 2005)

kidspiration -- are bouncy seats, swings & carseats the same? (I mean, developmentally inappropriate?) I'm figuring they probably are, since they put infants in an upright, more sitting position. Is propping them up on the couch, so they're sitting, the same? Or holding them in a sitting position on my lap? I'm honestly curious, because I've been thinking of getting a bumbo. I have a 2yo and a 3mo. old and I am not able to hold my 3mo old as much as I would like (dealing with the 2yo), so I have to figure out what to do with her when I'm not slinging her or holding her (which is most of the time), and she only likes lying flat on the floor for so long, she much prefers reclining or sitting. What would you suggest?


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## sandals (Sep 2, 2006)

Not going to throw any tomatoes...just wanted to say that our doctor said the same thing as kidspiration about these seats (and went on to further speak about they are another sign of the changing PPT field in the USA- for the worse).

Just what he said.


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## Ruthe (May 31, 2005)

I absolutely agree.


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## lovingmommyhood (Jul 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alegna* 
For those who asked- I think it puts infants in an unnatural position before they're ready to support themselves in that position. In a developmentally normal infant, when they are developmentally ready to sit, they will sit









My son sits on my lap all the time, he's three months old, how is that any different?? I just hold onto his sides with all of the other "supporting" being done by his body and my lap.

I think some people may have been reacting to the condescending tone of your post, not that you said they were "evil" perse.


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## Daisie125 (Oct 26, 2005)

We got one when DS was about 4 months old.. I put him in it once for photos so great grandma & grandpa could see him in it since they bought it.

I got it back out last week... DS can sit up on his own, and LOVES to do so, however he is still a little wobbly, so if I have to get up, I'll put him in it while I pee or cook or whatever, that way I don't have to be rightthere incase he falls backwords. I'm sure I'll stop using it once I don't have to worry about him slamming his head on the floor.

It's great for us, for what we use it for... however I HATE seeing little babies all slumped over in it.

(And I second the PP who wished it was bigger... DS's chubby little thighs barely fit!)


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## North_Of_60 (May 30, 2006)

I agree with all the sentiments about it being "developmentally inappropriate". I mean, if they're ready to sit up, they'll sit up! I've never really had a good feeling about propping her into positions that she was unable to stay in, so the bumbo falls under that category.

HOWEVER, we own one, and have used it. In fact, I got roasted for saying this last time - my husband travels for business, and my friends and family live 2000 miles away. I don't have a huge (or any support network), so being self sufficient was a huge goal for me. I simply cannot wear my daughter for _everything_.. as much as I'd like, and the bumbo bought me a few moments to make myself some dinner or pee when hubby was not around to help.

I think its life span around here was a matter of weeks - she didn't want to lay flat and couldn't sit up. Perhaps not "developmentally appropriate", but still useful none the less. I have every confidence that women have been propping babies into "unnatural positions" since the dawn of man if it meant they could pee without Baby screaming and scaring off a herd of woolly mammoths or buffalo.

So far, for the few hours, cumulatively, that she has spent in it, we have seen no detrimental adverse effects.

Weigh the risks and benefits. If using it has more benefits then not using it (such as being able to feed yourself or not mess in you pants, as was the case with me) then it might be a useful tool.

FWIW, we now use a high chair or play mat, which is much more "developmentally appropriate" as she is in a natural sitting position.


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## basmom (Jun 4, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lovingmommyhood* 
My son sits on my lap all the time, he's three months old, how is that any different?? I just hold onto his sides with all of the other "supporting" being done by his body and my lap.

I think some people may have been reacting to the condescending tone of your post, not that you said they were "evil" perse.

Yes.


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## NinaBruja (Jan 19, 2004)

my mom got one at her house so liesl could sit next to her while my mom is going about her business and its okay when shes up high but when shes on the floor she throws herself somehow and flies out sideways and lands on her tummy.

then again she *is* the original stunt baby...

i wouldnt have allowed it before she was working towards sitting up though... i dont think thats developmentally appropriate....
-to the insecure mamas, saying that is not a slight- its sad that even needs to be said...


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## clane (Aug 5, 2005)

I do not love or hate the Bumbo. We borrowed one from a friend and used it half a dozen times across a few months. I would have felt really dumb if I had shelled out $40 for something we used so little. Abigail was happy the first few times, but then discovered the arching back trick to pop her legs out. Well, she never got all the way out, but at that point I was going to risk putting her in it again.


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## nonconformnmom (May 24, 2005)

When you hold your baby in your lap, you subtly (and probably even subconsciously/ instinctively) adjust your hold on the baby and the baby's position to ensure that baby remains adequately supported no matter how she twists or turns or adjusts her balance. A Dumbo seat cannot do that.

When your baby is in a carseat, she is supported from behind the neck all the way along her spine and under her thighs. A Dumbo seat does not do that either.

Why do I think it is a ridiculous product? What's the hurry to get babies sitting up independently before they are ready? As others have said, when baby is ready to sit up, she will. Before then, she's not ready, no matter how much "head control" a parent might think she has.


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## MsGrizzle (Jun 3, 2005)

Quote:

For those who asked- I think it puts infants in an unnatural position before they're ready to support themselves in that position. In a developmentally normal infant, when they are developmentally ready to sit, they will sit
Thanks for the tip. I'm heading out now to throw out my mdc-approved Hotsling and Moby Wrap because ds will only use them in the sitting forward position and since he can't sit that way unsupported, I am letting him do something developmentally inappropriate.


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## Joannarachel (Dec 10, 2005)

The person who consistently refers to it as a "dumbo" seat. Please stop. Your tone is unnecessarily rude, and condescending, considering a number of people here have found use for them.

Precisely who is 'dumb'...the babies, or the parents?







:

Please stop. It's offensive. You can express your opinion without being unkind...can't you?


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## rmzbm (Jul 8, 2005)

I think it would be better to say that it can be used in a developmentally inappropriate way. It can also be used appropriatly. I haven't ever had, nor would I want, one but that certainly doesn't mean that it's not useful to some mothers for some reasons. And I agree...calling it a "dumbo" is quite rude and condecending to the moms who do find it useful.


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## ArtistMama (Sep 19, 2006)

They used to say not to stand a baby on their feet because it was developmentally inappropriate and caused bow legs. I believe it's called exercise.

I also believe in exploring things and situations with baby. Bumbo had entertainment value for HER. She did not use it much, and certainly didn't live in it.

Perhaps leave newborns laying on their back so that you don't force them into positions they cannot get into themselves? *scratches head* Hmm...

If you want to call me dumb, go ahead. *shrug*

My daughter is not delayed, maimed, weak, or otherwise altered from having spent a few minutes laughing her head off sitting in a goofy little chair.

No, she did not need Bumbo. Who cares? She thought it was a riot. We like to offer her diverse experiences.

I don't know what damage you're claiming it'll do, but this baby is not suffering.


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## nonconformnmom (May 24, 2005)

Quote:

The person who consistently refers to it as a "dumbo" seat. Please stop. Your tone is unnecessarily rude, and condescending, considering a number of people here have found use for them.

Precisely who is 'dumb'...the babies, or the parents?

Please stop. It's offensive. You can express your opinion without being unkind...can't you?
Oh, lighten up! Sheesh. It's one of the many baby gimmicks out there, not a means for ending world hunger. If anyone feels so strongly about their decision to use a Bumbo that knowing of someone who playfully calls it a "dumbo seat" makes them feel defensive, perhaps they'd be wise not to expose themselves to these threads.

Dumbo Dumbo Dumbo! I'll say it again! Dumbo seat!


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## Heavenly (Nov 21, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nonconformnmom* 
Oh, lighten up! Sheesh. It's one of the many baby gimmicks out there, not a means for ending world hunger. If anyone feels so strongly about their decision to use a Bumbo that knowing of someone who playfully calls it a "dumbo seat" makes them feel defensive, perhaps they'd be wise not to expose themselves to these threads.

Dumbo Dumbo Dumbo! I'll say it again! Dumbo seat!

Wow, that was mature. I have never even seen one of these seats but you sound like a child.


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lovingmommyhood* 
My son sits on my lap all the time, he's three months old, how is that any different?? I just hold onto his sides with all of the other "supporting" being done by his body and my lap.

I think some people may have been reacting to the condescending tone of your post, not that you said they were "evil" perse.

There was nothing condescending about my tone. Anyone who "knows" me around here knows that I give short, to the point answers. Exactly what I did.

If someone feels that it was condesceding then they need to explore their own baggage that makes them see it that way.

-Angela


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *soapdiva* 
Thanks for the tip. I'm heading out now to throw out my mdc-approved Hotsling and Moby Wrap because ds will only use them in the sitting forward position and since he can't sit that way unsupported, I am letting him do something developmentally inappropriate.

Goodness. No need for the huff.

Sitting in a sling is a different position. And baby is supported by fabric and mama.

As I used to ask grumpy kids- who tinkled in your cheerios this morning?

-Angela


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## nonconformnmom (May 24, 2005)

Quote:

*Heavenly* wrote: Wow, that was mature. I have never even seen one of these seats but you sound like a child.
The childishness exhibited by my response to this thread is exceeded only by the rancor exhibited in many others. Given the choice, I'll pick silly immaturity over bitter resentment every time.


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## rmzbm (Jul 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alegna* 
who tinkled in your cheerios this morning?



That would make a kick ass sig. line!

Angela, I don't know how to break it to you though - so I'll just say it...

You're not always PC!







:


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## North_Of_60 (May 30, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Joannarachel* 
The person who consistently refers to it as a "dumbo" seat. Please stop. Your tone is unnecessarily rude, and condescending, considering a number of people here have found use for them.

Precisely who is 'dumb'...the babies, or the parents?







:

Please stop. It's offensive. You can express your opinion without being unkind...can't you?

Thank-you. It is one thing to offer an opinion, even a differing one, or your experience. It is another, however, to post with the specific intent to be inflammatory and offensive.


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## rmzbm (Jul 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nonconformnmom* 
I'll pick silly immaturity over bitter resentment every time.


I see.

Honestly, I didn't see any "bitter resentment" here. Maybe I should reread. Even Angela didn't call it a dumbo, and that's saying alot.







:


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## nonconformnmom (May 24, 2005)

I think it's a dumb product, plain and simple; that's my opinion and, of course, not everyone agrees with me. The only person who should be offended by that is the inventor; except that I think whoever invented it is brilliant. I wish I had been the marketing genius who came up with it.


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## rmzbm (Jul 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nonconformnmom* 
I think it's a dumb product, plain and simple; that's my opinion and, of course, not everyone agrees with me. The only person who should be offended by that is the inventor; except that I think whoever invented it is brilliant. I wish I had been the marketing genius who came up with it.


Oh, I actually totally agree with you. I just hate the thought of hurting someone's feelings for no reason, that's all.


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## NinaBruja (Jan 19, 2004)

i laughed at the dumbo seat remarks....

and i have one...


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## rmzbm (Jul 8, 2005)

Ok, so...forgive my ignorance...how is this seat any different than a bouncy seat or the like? I don't have one so I am unfamiliar with it.


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## rebelbets (Jun 6, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kidspiration* 
i am quite frankly appalled that fellow therapists are using the bumbo. i see no therapeutic value in it whatsoever. we are supposed to help the child with their trunk and neck control and placing them into a passive seating device does neither.

Not a PT, but the Bumbo seat does require a bit of trunk and neck control. Our PT recommended one for my son, and she is fabulous. Granted, she didn't tell us to run out and buy the thing and plop him in it all the livelong day, but she did say it could be something nice to use for a couple moments a day in order to get him off his back. When we're not holding him, of course.


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## North_Of_60 (May 30, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rmzbm* 
Ok, so...forgive my ignorance...how is this seat any different than a bouncy seat or the like? I don't have one so I am unfamiliar with it.

With a bouncy seat you are not "locking" them into a position that is not musculoskeletally normal. The way it makes them sit up before they are ready is by lifting their legs/thighs above their butt, and keeping them in a fairly narrow and upright position.

When you sit on the floor you are flat. A bumbo is not flat. Have you ever sat on a toilet when someone has left the seat up and your butt gets stuck in the hole? That's kind of the premise behind the bumbo.


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## rmzbm (Jul 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *North_Of_60* 
Have you ever sat on a toilet when someone has left the seat up and your butt gets stuck in the hole? That's kind of the premise behind the bumbo.


Not lately!







:

OK, I understand better now.

I would be interested in hearing mama's tell why they find it useful then.


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rmzbm* 
That would make a kick ass sig. line!

Angela, I don't know how to break it to you though - so I'll just say it...

You're not always PC!







:


Gasp! Say it ain't so!

Good thing I don't give a flying rat about being PC, huh?










-Angela


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## North_Of_60 (May 30, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rmzbm* 
Not lately!







:

You've never been to my house.







:

Quote:

I would be interested in hearing mama's tell why they find it useful then.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *North_Of_60* 
I got roasted for saying this last time - my husband travels for business, and my friends and family live 2000 miles away. I don't have a huge (or any support network), so being self sufficient was a huge goal for me. I simply cannot wear my daughter for _everything_.. as much as I'd like, and the bumbo bought me a few moments to make myself some dinner or pee when hubby was not around to help.

I think its life span around here was a matter of weeks - she didn't want to lay flat and couldn't sit up.


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rmzbm* 
Even Angela didn't call it a dumbo, and that's saying alot.







:


Hey now, Angela calls it like she sees it, but never lowers herself to names like dumbo. Harumph.









(though now every time I see one that's going to be what pops in my head








)

-Angela


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## rmzbm (Jul 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alegna* 
(though now every time I see one that's going to be what pops in my head







)

Same here.







: But I won't SAY it!


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## Joannarachel (Dec 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nonconformnmom* 
Oh, lighten up! Sheesh. It's one of the many baby gimmicks out there, not a means for ending world hunger. If anyone feels so strongly about their decision to use a Bumbo that knowing of someone who playfully calls it a "dumbo seat" makes them feel defensive, perhaps they'd be wise not to expose themselves to these threads.

Dumbo Dumbo Dumbo! I'll say it again! Dumbo seat!


Wow. My not quite 2 year old is more mature than you. Interesting.


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## gnutter (Jan 5, 2006)

I think it is ok-I bought the other brand which is the bebe pod. I use it to sit beside me on booth seats when we eat out. I know that it says on the box that it is not a booster seat-but he loves to sit up! I sit it in the corner of the booth seat and sit beside him and he is so thrilled with that that he forgets all about trying to grab my drink every 10 seconds. That is basically the only use we have at this moment for it-of course he is only 5 months old now. my friends 8 mo loves it-he can sit on his own but for some reason loves to sit in our bebe pod when he is here.

I don't think I would have used it for a 3mo which it says on the box you can--but every baby is different.


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## MsGrizzle (Jun 3, 2005)

Quote:

Sitting in a sling is a different position. And baby is supported by fabric and mama.

As I used to ask grumpy kids- who tinkled in your cheerios this morning?
Cute, I'll have to remember that one.


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## nonconformnmom (May 24, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Joannarachel* 
Wow. My not quite 2 year old is more mature than you. Interesting.

When something I say causes someone to get this vindictive I know I'm doing something right.


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## StrawberryFields (Apr 6, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ArtistMama* 
Doesn't this depend on the baby? If you have a 3 month old who is sitting on their own...how is a little moulded butt chair inappropriate developmentally? Other than they don't need it?

I am sorry for not responding to you, I am sick







: with a sick baby, too







:

I concur that it's not developmentally inappropriate for the baby who is already able to sit on his/her own (other than they don't need it), or the older baby with delays, as recommended by a pt. I am not sure why someone would use a Bumbo for a baby who can already sit...? But either way, in that case I would say it is akin to using a high chair or booster.

I think it is developmentally inappropriate for the young baby who cannot yet sit unassisted to be placed in a device like the Bumbo that puts them in such a sitting position. According to the website Bumbo can be used in babies as young as 6 weeks and in my opinion that is not normal, healthy, natural, or appropriate.

And







: to everything alegna has said. She has pretty much summed up my opinion on the topic.


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## Black Orchid (Mar 28, 2005)

My DD loves it! She gets very fussy when laying prone and can't sit up yet plus she is getting fidgety when we hold her and like to be "free". This was the perfect solution for her. We particularly use it at dinner so she can sit with us and be part of the meal even though she can't join in yet. I really love this and it was worth every penny. We got it much cheaper that anywhere online at BJ's wholesale club. I think it was 29.99.


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## StrongSingleMama (Jul 18, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lovingmommyhood* 
I love it. What a wonderful baby seat! It's awesome and my DS loves sitting in his.

I agree! I absolutely loved it. It was great for when my daughter was learning how to sit up but couldn't quite sit on her own yet. She loved to be able to sit upright and look around. I didn't leave her in it for long periods of time or anything but I found it very useful and as soon as she was able to sit up on her own I stopped using it.

Honestly I had no idea there was such controversy over the bumbo. I have only heard good experiences and comments about it prior to this. I guess it isn't for everyone.


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## Joannarachel (Dec 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nonconformnmom* 
When something I say causes someone to get this vindictive I know I'm doing something right.










If by 'right' you mean self-righteous, nasty, obnoxious, and someone I wouldn't associate with in real life, yes, you certainly are doing something right.

Good grief. Is there an option to ignore nasty posters?


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## Black Orchid (Mar 28, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Joannarachel* 
Good grief. Is there an option to ignore nasty posters?

I think there is something in the contro panel where you can choose to ignore specific posters.


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## soygurl (Jan 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Black Orchid* 
My DD loves it! She gets very fussy when laying prone and can't sit up yet plus she is getting fidgety when we hold her and like to be "free". This was the perfect solution for her. We particularly use it at dinner so she can sit with us and be part of the meal even though she can't join in yet. I really love this and it was worth every penny. We got it much cheaper that anywhere online at BJ's wholesale club. I think it was 29.99.

Yeah that!
Has no one else here had a baby who HATED/HATES any position other than upright, from a VERY early age? My niece (who I've lived with from birth, in a very small house) was only happy if she was proped up sitting or standing (supported of course) from the age of about 6 weeks or earlier. Ok... she was also happy nursing, and would tolerate sleeping on her back







. [edited out something that would be taken the wrong way and sounded really stuped.] And have I mentioned that she LOVES the bumbo? She's not in it much, and she makes it VERY clear when she doesn't WANT to be in it, so I really don't see the problem. At 4 months she is starting to sit unassited, but she still loves the bumbo. She's been trying to sit up since she was about 2 months but just couldn't. I really don't understand why the bumbo thing always turns into some nasty dibate. I trust babies to let it be know when they are uncomfortable, and I trust parents (at least hopefully the ones on MDC) to act quickly according to their baby's cues... so WHAT'S THE PROBLEM if some people like the bumbo? Don't like it... don't use it!

~Kelsie


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## Joannarachel (Dec 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Black Orchid* 
I think there is something in the contro panel where you can choose to ignore specific posters.


Found it...thanks!


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## StrongSingleMama (Jul 18, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *soygurl* 
I really don't understand why the bumbo thing always turns into some nasty dibate. I trust babies to let it be know when they are uncomfortable, and I trust parents (at least hopefully the ones on MDC) to act quickly according to their baby's cues... so WHAT'S THE PROBLEM if some people like the bumbo? Don't like it... don't use it!


















My daughter LOVED her bumbo, I wouldn't have put her in it if she didn't. I personally don't see anything wrong with it. It can be very helpful!


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## nonconformnmom (May 24, 2005)

Quote:

*Jannarachel* wrote: self-righteous, nasty, obnoxious, and someone I wouldn't associate with in real life










Okay! Okay! Please! Release my family unharmed and I promise never to say Dumbo again.







:

To quote you in post #39, "that comment was necessary or helpful HOW?!"

And again in post #60, "You can express your opinion without being unkind...can't you?"

I'm really sorry you don't want to be my best friend ....


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## nonconformnmom (May 24, 2005)

Quote:

*soygurl* wrote: so WHAT'S THE PROBLEM if some people like the bumbo? Don't like it... don't use it!
I agree! But I would turn that around and say "what's wrong if people *don't* like it? If you (the general 'you') love it and use it, I'm happy for you. The fact that I don't like them, and even make fun of them in my silly immature way, is no harm to those who *do* like them. It's just a different opinion. The only posts that are getting personal are from those who are upset that someone said they don't like the bumbo.


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## chiro_kristin (Dec 31, 2004)

As a pediatric chiropractor, I concur with everything kidspiration said.

Just because a child "loves" something doesn't mean it is good for her. The folks at church put my son in a jumpy seat, and he adored it. And he had whiplash. The next time he was in the nursery and they put him in the seat (dh forgot to ask them not to), yep whiplash. But he was still screaming with laughter when I picked him up and cried when I took him out of it.

Oh yeah, ds likes to stick rocks in his mouth, enjoys playing with anything that plugs into an outlet (when in an unfamiliar place that isn't childproofed yet), and probably would enjoy a nice big chef's knife because it is shiny (before he cuts himself).

I know that sounds snarky, and I don't mean it to, I'm just giving more extreme examples of why "fun" doesn't mean "safe."


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## soygurl (Jan 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nonconformnmom* 
I agree! But I would turn that around and say "what's wrong if people *don't* like it? If you (the general 'you') love it and use it, I'm happy for you. The fact that I don't like them, and even make fun of them in my silly immature way, is no harm to those who *do* like them. It's just a different opinion. The only posts that are getting personal are from those who are upset that someone said they don't like the bumbo.









I guess I just don't see the point in berating other people for using one. OR for NOT using one. Why can't we all get along?!?! And be NICE!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chiro_kristin* 
As a pediatric chiropractor, I concur with everything kidspiration said.

Just because a child "loves" something doesn't mean it is good for her. The folks at church put my son in a jumpy seat, and he adored it. And he had whiplash. The next time he was in the nursery and they put him in the seat (dh forgot to ask them not to), yep whiplash. But he was still screaming with laughter when I picked him up and cried when I took him out of it.

Oh yeah, ds likes to stick rocks in his mouth, enjoys playing with anything that plugs into an outlet (when in an unfamiliar place that isn't childproofed yet), and probably would enjoy a nice big chef's knife because it is shiny (before he cuts himself).

I know that sounds snarky, and I don't mean it to, I'm just giving more extreme examples of why "fun" doesn't mean "safe."

I don't see how you can compare a bumbo to a jumpy seat. Yes, there are all the physical similatities of the products, but one is stationary, and one can cause whiplash. I guess I don't see how a bumbo could do any more damage to a baby (who was developmentaly ready to use it) than a sling or any other device that supports a baby (not that a bumbo is _anything_ like a sling). If the baby is uncomfortable in that position they will let you know.
When we first put my niece in the bumbo she had head control, but didn't have _enough_ trunk control to be upright in it.... so we took her out. She wasn't happy, and wasn't supported enough to make up for her (normal) lack of development.
I don't see how a bumbo could cause damage.

~Kelsie


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## poetesss (Mar 2, 2006)

Ahh, it's so interesting how these bumbo threads always turn out...
















: And now, back to your regularly scheduled programming....


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## chiro_kristin (Dec 31, 2004)

Because only 10% of the nervous system is devoted to nociception. Our brain receives 3 trillion bits of information per second. Out of that 3 trillion, only 50 bits reach the conscious brain. So, only 5 bits of information per second reaches the conscious brain that could cause your baby to communicate pain, out of 3 trillion bits.


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## nonconformnmom (May 24, 2005)

Quote:

*soygurl* wrote:
I guess I just don't see the point in berating other people for using one.
Berate means to scold or to rebuke angrily. I don't recall ever seeing a post scolding someone for using a bumbo; I see only posts saying that individuals choose not to use them and providing their reasons why. Go back and reread the thread and then tell me who are the berate-ors and who are the berate-ees on the divergent sides of this discussion.

I'll wait ....


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## Black Orchid (Mar 28, 2005)

This debate is kinda funny because I really don't think the internet is a good place to find medically based information about what is or is not developmentally appropriate for your own unique child. While discussion about a lot of things here is useful, it is hard for me to imagine sitting behind my computer and typing a message that tells a mom that what she is doing is physically harming her child when all signs point to the child being fine. Especially with no data that shows otherwise.

I also think that to make generalizations about a child's therapist, based on a reported recommendation of something another therapist doesn't approve of is wrong. In my experience therapists generally don't give advice or make recommendations for a specific situation unless they have personally been involved in diagnosis or the therapy itself.

Just seems kinda silly that we're sitting around debating whether our own children, in our own houses are fine or not. I haven't really been affected by the insults etc because I am here, with my DD and I know the chair isn't harmful for her, despite other's opinion that it is (most without having tried one or seen one used in person).

Sorry, I have been thinking and thinking and just needed to get that out







I







this place when I need ideas and to hear others' experiences, but this thread is just getting ridiculous. I guess this is the spirit of the discussions here, but it just seems silly in the way this thread is going.


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## runes (Aug 5, 2004)

blackorchid, thanks alot.







: this is the reason why i almost didn't even respond to this thread. sheesh, between the bumbo and the baby bjorn i've gotten tons of tomatoes thrown at me at mdc.

but then i thought better. the physical development of babies is what i've studied and practiced and i've dedicated my career to it, and this community means a lot to me and i'd like to think that my input might be important to someone. instead, i get a thinly veiled insult basically telling my to mind my own business.

anyways...back to the (controversial) topic at hand.

north_of_60's description of how a bumbo seat positions the body is excellent, it is the closest real-life approximation to the bumbo position that an adult can experience. if you're up for a fun experiment today, go on over to your toilet seat and sit on it, letting your butt slide down into the hole (not too far, though...







). let your legs stay out straight, not resting on the floor, because that is the way the babies are in the bumbo as well. imagine that you have a seat under you, and think about where you are bearing the most weight. since most of the people that use the bumbo say that they don't use it for, oh, more than 10 minutes tops, stay in that position for that long just to get the feel for it. come back here and tell us about it







.

also, can anyone tell me why it is that a bumbo seat does not have straps to hold the baby in?

first person to answer correctly gets a ddddc.








:


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kidspiration* 
also, can anyone tell me why it is that a bumbo seat does not have straps to hold the baby in?

Because it's not safe to strap them in that position?

-Angela


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## AppleCrisp (Aug 19, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nonconformnmom* 
Oh, lighten up! Sheesh. It's one of the many baby gimmicks out there, not a means for ending world hunger. If anyone feels so strongly about their decision to use a Bumbo that knowing of someone who playfully calls it a "dumbo seat" makes them feel defensive, perhaps they'd be wise not to expose themselves to these threads.

Dumbo Dumbo Dumbo! I'll say it again! Dumbo seat!









:


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## rmzbm (Jul 8, 2005)

Seems to me it wouldn't be needed as it wouldn't be possible to ever fall out by your description.


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## North_Of_60 (May 30, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *inspiration* 
since most of the people that use the bumbo say that they don't use it for, oh, more than 10 minutes tops, stay in that position for that long just to get the feel for it. come back here and tell us about it







.

With all due respect (because I DO respect your experience) I know when she wants out of it, I know when she doesn't want to be put in it, and if she was sore, maimed, injured, or otherwise debilitated for being in it, I would have a pretty good idea of that too.

I asked you this in the last bumbo thread, and I don't think I received an answer, so I'll ask again. Since everyone likes to go on and on about the irreversible damage that crying does, what would have been worse, maybe and an hour and a half, total, in her ENTIRE life in a bumbo, or crying alone on the floor while I try to eat? I am a breastfeeding mother, and I HAVE to eat. Not only for myself, but for my baby. When my husband is out of town for a week I simply cannot wait for him to get home.

Which is worse? Crying alone for 10 minutes, or 10 minute a bumbo?

Quote:

also, can anyone tell me why it is that a bumbo seat does not have straps to hold the baby in?
Because it's not a high chair or a safety seat. It's supposed to be used on the FLOOR, not high surfaces, or chairs. If used on the floor it's no different then a baby toppling over from a regular sitting position.


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## AugustineM (Mar 21, 2005)

Kidspiration -- Your comparison doesn't make sense -- I don't see why North of 60's description is "excellent." What you described sounds totally uncomfortable. I've seen babies sitting in bumbos and they don't seem uncomfortable. And a bumbo is like a soft foam thing, and it has a bottom. A toilet seat is a hole, and it's ceramic.

I feel stupid even pointing that out, as this is a somewhat trivial discussion, but I honestly haven't made up my mind about a bumbo, and I do value the opinions of people who might know about physical development, etc., but the comparison does not work for me at all.

For me, as an adult, it might compare to sitting in a molded foam chair. That's what it is, after all.


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## StrongSingleMama (Jul 18, 2005)

I don't understand the toilet comparison either. My DD was always very comfy in her chair and loved it. It is made out of foam and supported her back well and surrounded her from all sides.

Here are a few pics of my daughter in her bumbo:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v4...1/DSCF0849.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v4...1/DSCF0854.jpg


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## runes (Aug 5, 2004)

most people don't have molded foam chairs in their homes but they do have toilets. anyways, it's an approximation and the exercise is so that you can try to feel in your body what exactly is happening when you are placed in a position that locks you into posterior pelvic tilt. if you don't like the example that's fine and if you're coming onto this thread to derail it by pointing out things of this nature instead of adding insightful comments then by all means do so but i'm onto you. cute baby pics are welcomed of course







...paxton25 your dd is adorable!

digressing for a moment...speaking of molded foam chairs...i can't sit in one of those things for more than a few minutes. most people don't buy those things because they're comfortable.


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## StrongSingleMama (Jul 18, 2005)

^Aww thank you!







:


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## runes (Aug 5, 2004)

no need to duck, mama...there aren't any fruits flying your way.


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## StrongSingleMama (Jul 18, 2005)

^oh oops that was an accident. For some reason the smilies aren't working right on my computer and so to me it just looks like a regular smiley face.


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## runes (Aug 5, 2004)

Deep breath, here goes...

The bumbo is designed in such a way that the baby's pelvis is 'locked' into a posterior pelvic tilt, with hips flexed. Most of the time when I see little ones in bumbos (from my own personal observation as well as doing a search on google images), the baby's feet are either pointed out or in, which means that the hips are either externally or internally rotated. This alignment essentially immobilizes the pelvis and prevents any weight shifting, which is what you want to suppress if you are wanting your little one to stay in the same spot for a while.







: The biomechanical alignment of the bumbo is such that the baby's own alignment and muscles are being used against them in order to essentially lock them into a position.

The reason why the bumbo doesn't have a restraint on it is for several reasons. Alegna pointed out the obvious (thanks!) and stated that it's not safe for a baby to be in this position. North_of_60 made the observation that it doesn't have a restraint because it's not to be used on raised surfaces, which is also true. May I comment on how many people on this thread as well as the previous bumbo thread have admitted to using it in an unsafe manner, like on countertops, as a booster seat on a chair or on top of tables. Rmbzm's answer was the one I was looking for, talking about alignment and how, as I stated above, the bumbo is basically a restraint that uses a baby's own body weight and still-developing musculature to prop them into a certain position. I will give DDDDDC's to all 3 of these reponses because they make good points.

There haven't been any long term, longitudinal studies done on the physiological ramifications of using the bumbo seat, and we shouldn't be expecting one any time in the future. However as a PT I am trained to look at seating and positioning devices for their comfort, function and alignment and the bumbo gets a solid F from me.

I will concede that there is probably a short 'window' of time where the bumbo would be 'developmentally appropriate' (and I use this term with a grain of salt in this instance) while taking a child's development into consideration. There might be a period of a week or two, between when a child has developed the muscle strength necessary for trunk and head support in sitting and yet has not developed the balance, righting and protective responses in order to sit independently. So in this case, if one feels truly compelled to blow $40 on a piece of molded foam, that's each person's choice to make (and I won't get into the environmental issue here). I'd rather go out for a nice dinner







.

If the bumbo is either used before or after this period, it is developmentally inappropriate in the true sense of the word. If they don't have the trunk and neck support in order to sit up well, then they shouldn't be in a bumbo. If they're able to sit independently, then why in the world would you put them in a bumbo?


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## rmzbm (Jul 8, 2005)

Hehehe - thanks!


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## SusannahM (Sep 15, 2005)

My daughter could hold her head up the first week after she was born, she was really strong in that way. Anyway, she started getting very fussy about not being able to see everything all the time, so the Bumbo was really great for us. We started using it at about 2 months, and whenever she started showing signs of getting tired of sitting (losing head control), we'd whisk her out of it. She really appreciated getting to watch everything from her own vantage point, and it was great at restaurants and when I had to go to the bathroom.


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## SugarAndSun (Feb 6, 2005)

Thanks ladies! You _have_ been entertaining!







:


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## nonconformnmom (May 24, 2005)

Okay, for those who were offended by my previous posts in this thread, do not read what is found inside the spoiler tags below.

I'm tellin' ya, don't read it. If you get offended you have no one to blame but yourself.

Warning :: Spoiler Ahead! Highlight to read message!

Okay, now that it's just those of us who can take a joke







, since I've promised not to call it the Du ... you know ..., I need a new silly name for this product. I was thinking either Crumbo seat or Scumbo seat. I think the product is more crumby than scummy. But "Scumbo seat" makes me laugh; whereas "Crumbo seat" just makes me go







Which one should I go with?


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## AugustineM (Mar 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kidspiration* 
Deep breath, here goes...

The bumbo is designed in such a way that the baby's pelvis is 'locked' into a posterior pelvic tilt, with hips flexed. Most of the time when I see little ones in bumbos (from my own personal observation as well as doing a search on google images), the baby's feet are either pointed out or in, which means that the hips are either externally or internally rotated. This alignment essentially immobilizes the pelvis and prevents any weight shifting, which is what you want to suppress if you are wanting your little one to stay in the same spot for a while.







: The biomechanical alignment of the bumbo is such that the baby's own alignment and muscles are being used against them in order to essentially lock them into a position.
FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]

Mmmm... that makes sense. Thanks.

Was it me that was trying to derail the thread before?


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## momileigh (Oct 29, 2002)

I realize that this thread has been dead for a while but I have something to add.

Many, many times that I've worn my dd's out in public, be it to the store, the mall, a park, downtown, the zoo... wherever... there is always some old lady coming up to me and TELLING me that she isn't comfortable that way, that it isn't a good way to hold a baby, that it isn't healthy, isn't right, isn't good for her, that I should take her out of the sling immediately.

And I usually remark to them, "If she's not happy like this, she'll let me know."

I believe the same principle applies to the Bumbo. If the position is really in any way uncomfortable, I'm sure I will hear all about it. If it isn't uncomfortable, I cannot believe that it is harmful. I can't think of one single position for the human body that is harmful that doesn't become uncomfortable in short order. That is what pain is for, and that is how the body works. (Possible exceptions: something you would do over a loooong period of time.)

We used and loved our Bumbo. As an ECing mom, I loved that there was somewhere I could put dd down with a naked butt and not worry about ruining the item. (I lined it with a prefold.) She LOVED sitting up whether it was on my lap or in a foam seat. She never stayed in it for long periods of time. It was useful in many contexts. It helped me keep sand out of her mouth at the beach and made it easier for her to join us in play at the park. It had good resale value and was easy to care for. And every time she's been to the chiropractor, he hasn't even needed to adjust her, because her spine is in fantastic condition. (She was adjusted a couple of times when she was too young yet for the Bumbo.) And she's now a perfectly adorably healthy girl in great shape. There were times when it was a choice between a Bumbo and an exersaucer/walker, and I'm guessing that the fact that she spent that time *not* suspended by her crotch was probably beneficial.


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## ~member~ (May 23, 2002)

Just my .02, it's plastic, a huge no-no for me, and it's a containment device, another no-no for me.
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...ight=container


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## maybebaby (Dec 24, 2001)

Just wanted to add..Lily's physical therapist didn't think these seats helped them sit any earlier, etc.. it's just a seat, much like a swing or infant carrier. Convenient, maybe but not any more helpful as far as muscle control.


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## ~Ryleigh's Mommy~ (Jun 28, 2006)

Lurker here. I have read a few bumbo threads. First of all I just wanted to say thanks to kidspiration and chirokristen for your excellent knowledge and explanations.

The other thing I want to say that kind of irritates me, is when people act like the bumbo is a necessary device. My DH is a truck driver, and I am alone at home for long periods of time too. And believe me, my DD is VERY high needs. I don't have a bumbo, and I survive. Its not like this is the first generation that women have had to be the sole caretakers of their children. I eat when she naps, or I place her in the bouncy seat (where there is something supporting her head and spine and isn't locking her hips and all that). Once she started to be able to support her head more, I started using the Boppy pillow. I also put her in the sling on my back for cooking or laundry or whatever. I have nothing against people who use bumbos, and I'm not trying to bash you, I'm just saying, please quit saying how its the only way you could get along. I mean, what did people do before the bumbo was invented if its so necessary for survival?

I also have to make an observation. I post on a VERY mainstream board. There are a few of us APers who 'hold down the fort'. I have to say, that all the answers that are given here in defense of the bumbo are the same reasons that those mainstream moms give about walkers, CIO, baby buckets, etc (my child isn't maimed, she likes it, its not like I leave her in there all day etc etc)

Have a nice day


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## momileigh (Oct 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Ryleigh's Mommy~* 
I mean, what did people do before the bumbo was invented if its so necessary for survival?

Did I miss something? Could you quote the moms who are saying they wouldn't survive without a Bumbo? Or reference the post #? Because I really don't remember anyone saying anything so ridiculous.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Ryleigh's Mommy~* 
all the answers that are given here in defense of the bumbo are the same reasons that those mainstream moms give about walkers, CIO, baby buckets, etc (my child isn't maimed, she likes it, its not like I leave her in there all day etc etc)

You have officially ticked me off.

I'm guessing you don't "hold down the fort" as much as "keep the mommy wars' fires blazing." I don't post on mainstream boards often, but I doubt anyone defends CIO with a "she likes it." And SO WHAT if someone uses a walker and their baby likes it? Or if they use a baby bucket sometimes? I know BILLIONS of AP moms who occasionally make use of these items. Hey, I admit, I rejoice when I see a mom in the mall with her baby in a sling and no stroller. But most moms with slings IME also have a stroller with them. I HATE to see a baby carried around by a handle when they ought to be carried close. But if your babe is asleep in their carseat and you choose to leave them sleeping in there while you shop or come in from your car and put away groceries... I mean, it is worlds away from propping a bottle and leaving your kid in there until their head flattens completely out. There is a place for righteous indignation... and there is a place for accepting moms who make judicious use of modern babycare items. I could go apesh!t on you for using a bouncy seat if I wanted to. Heck, I could jump down your throat for using diapers instead of doing the natural thing and ec'ing. I have a feeling if I did a little home inspection I could find lots of things to judge you for.

It was posts like yours that made me baby-container-phobic when I had my dd#1. When she was born, I had NOT ONE baby container. No infant carseat (I didn't want the temptation to use the seat outside the car), no swing, no bouncy, no bassinett, no crib, no stroller, NO NOTHING. Just a collection of every kind of sling I had found. I figured I would hold her/sling her at all times. I even bought a water sling so I could shower with her. Lo and behold, as in love as I was, I actually did want a safe place to lay her down once in a while. AND I FELT INCREDIBLY GUILTY. I thought I was a bad mom when someone brought me a swing and I actually put my dd in it while I went to the bathroom or got myself something to eat.

With dd#2 I finally started to realize that people like you with your judgmental posts were probably full of it. A ton of MDC moms "came out of the closet" to me and admitted they made use of bouncies, swings, strollers, etc. I had a bunch of earthy-birthy friends (midwives and the women who use them) who ALL had exersaucers or walkers or bumbos (or a collection of them). So I just let go of the "perfect mother" ideal, and I tell you what, I felt so free. Dd#2 had an infant carseat and stroller, swing, exersaucer, bumbo, and a hammock to sleep in, in addition to my effing huge collection of slings and carriers. And you know what? She walked months earlier than dd#1, and other than that, for all I can tell, the only other difference is in ME. I'm a little saner. And all told, she spent very little time in any of those things (except the hammock where she spent many hours, and the carseat when she was in the car).

I hate that you made me feel once again that I have to justify what I decided was acceptable for my family. Your post is EXACTLY what intimidates and discourages others from learning from APers in general... and keeps them running back to the mainstream for all their parenting advice. If you want to make the non-use of a Bumbo, or walker, or bucket, as much of a litmus test (ie just as important) of enlightened parenting as the non-use of CIO, let me just emphatically state that I COMPLETELY DISAGREE WITH YOU and I hope the VAST majority of loving AP moms agree.

As soon as you're done berating adoptive moms for supplementing their induced lactation with formula, I'm sure I'll have the pleasure of reading your reply. (What, you say that's not what you've been doing? Well happy birthday, I guess you're not as judgmental as I made you out to be from your post.)


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## North_Of_60 (May 30, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Ryleigh's Mommy~* 
I have nothing against people who use bumbos, and I'm not trying to bash you, I'm just saying, *please quit saying how its the only way you could get along.* I mean, what did people do before the bumbo was invented if its so necessary for survival?

So good for you, you get by without one. Whoopty fricken do. What did women do before Bumbo's and they had a baby that was neither happy laying down nor could sit unassisted? They PROPPED IT UP. In the early days it was probably twigs and leaves, then maybe some rolled towels or sheets, then the boppy, and now *gasp* the Bumbo.

I love it when women raise their hand to perfection. "Well my husband is never home and *I* don't need those devices." You want a cookie? You, my dear, are not the mold standard for AP parenting. Everyone, and every child is different.

I was the one who said, not only in this thread, but in others, that I DID (if you care to search my posts you'll see our evil Bumbo for sale on the trading post) NEED, yes, NEED a Bumbo while my husband was out of town. I'm sure I could have gotten by without it if I wanted to reduce myself to eating only once a day or perhaps wetting my pants. With my high needs baby who didn't want to sleep, coupled with my post partum incontinence, I'm sure I would have managed just fine without such a device when my two herniated disks were flaring up and I had NO WHERE to set her down.

Since I do like to limit myself to one evil plastic baby containment device I try to pick the one that is likely to garner the best results - a happy baby that frees me up to do some of life's necessities, like wipe my ass and stuff my face. The Bumbo, unfortunately, was that months torture device de jour.

Was it perfect? No. I know the risks. I don't advocate its use. It's bad. I get that. But it worked. And eating a few hurried meals and being able to wipe my butt without balancing a baby was really good for my sanity while I was alone.

So, please don't _tell_ me what I can and cannot say. You don't need a Bumbo? Good for you. Not everyone is like you.

Edited to add: THIS is why the Bumbo was so important to me. It is physically impossible, not to mention down right painful to hold/wear her at times. While it may seem unfathomable to you that someone might rely on a molded plastic seat, the fact remains that it was one of THE only ways to set her down without the end result being a lot of tears or frustration.


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## North_Of_60 (May 30, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *momileigh* 
Did I miss something? Could you quote the moms who are saying they wouldn't survive without a Bumbo? Or reference the post #? Because I really don't remember anyone saying anything so ridiculous.

I never said I couldn't survive without one, but I sure did need it for a few weeks -

Quote:


Originally Posted by *North_Of_60* 
HOWEVER, we own one, and have used it. In fact, I got roasted for saying this last time - my husband travels for business, and my friends and family live 2000 miles away. I don't have a huge (or any support network), so being self sufficient was a huge goal for me. I simply cannot wear my daughter for _everything_.. as much as I'd like, and the bumbo bought me a few moments to make myself some dinner or pee when hubby was not around to help.


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MamaInTheBoonies* 
Just my .02, it's plastic, a huge no-no for me, and it's a containment device, another no-no for me.
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...ight=container

Interesting you say this. Didn't you show pics of one of your children sitting in a stroller, that had plastic on it?


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## ladyslipper (Apr 21, 2006)

:


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## Joannarachel (Dec 10, 2005)

Bwahhahahahah.

I love how some people are so arrogant about not using one







:

(I personally haven't used mine in two months, just because baby girl can sit on her own now, but I still get peeved at the people who think I'm a rotten mom because I used one.)

Oh, and the damn thing isn't plastic. It's foam. I wouldn't stick my baby in a plastic molded chair, either.

I really, really, really like North_of_60. I think I'm going to stalk her and make her my new BFF. I don't care if she doesn't want to be.







:

I KNOW my baby. I never left her in it for more than a few minutes because ANY position gets uncomfortable after a few minutes. If she was uncomfortable, she would have told me. She always laughed and giggled in it.

So a big







: to y'all. Actually, I appreciated kidspiration's and chirokristen's information about the sitting position. That was interesting and informative. I just didn't like the attitude from some that it was a horrible thing to use IN MODERATION.

If someone left her baby in it when crying or fussing or uncomfortable, or for extended periods, I can definitely see where that's flame worthy material. But the way I used it and other mamas on this board use it? No way, no how.

And BITE ME to whomever compared this to 'CIO'. Just bite me.







:


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## napua (Feb 1, 2006)

I completely agree with *momileigh*! I can't believe that anyone would compare using a bumbo to cio.







: I do have one but we haven't used it for more than 15 minutes combined time in the past two months so I plan on returning it. I think that if the baby is happy and the mama is too and as long as it is not used for long time periods or too often, it is fine. I just found that we don't need it personally.


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## blessedwithboys (Dec 8, 2004)

dont have time to read all 7 pgs, but heres my view...

i wish this had been around a decade ago for my ds1! actually, i think i missed it for ds2 also, its that new.

both of my boys have sensory issues. neither one could handle laying down. its a vestibular thing. so, to avoid being laid down, my kids sought out the ability to remain upright. ds1 sat completely unassisted at 5 mos, and ds2 at 4.5 mos. i am not making that up, i have pictures, and so on. LOL. both of them had complete head control at birth, and both sought out bearing weight on their feet from about 2 wks old. (hey man, i gestated them both for 10 mos, another week in there and they would have been born walking! LOL)

if i had had a bumbo we all would have been much happier together. i share a housse with an old friend. she has an 8 mos old dd who is developing somewhat slowly, and for sure, not normally. at 8 mos, her dd HATES to sit upright, will only tolerate it for 2 to 3 minutes, so she is eith in a swing or excersaucer all freaking day long. (very little floor time, as she commando crawls and gets into stuff, and then her mother might actually have to supervise her.







: ) the bumbo would give her a change of position, but its too expensive for this mom.


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## comfybuns (Apr 19, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *OnTheFence* 
Interesting you say this. Didn't you show pics of one of your children sitting in a stroller, that had plastic on it?

AS do the pack n play in the background of that same picture and the Johnny jumper in the other pic.
*Gasp* Aren't those containment devices?????







:


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## momileigh (Oct 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *North_Of_60* 
I never said I couldn't survive without one, but I sure did need it for a few weeks -

Well, you "needed" it in order for your baby to be happy when you put her down, right? Well, a baby being happy isn't "necessary for survival" as Ryleigh's Mommy put it. I guess you should have laid your kid on the floor and let them scream... better than a foam chair, right?


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## momileigh (Oct 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *comfybuns* 
AS do the pack n play in the background of that same picture and the Johnny jumper in the other pic.
*Gasp* Aren't those containment devices?????







:

BUSTED! (Is there a smilie for "busted"?)









It is a shame people can't just share their perspective without being condescending or judgmental.


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## nonconformnmom (May 24, 2005)

Score one for the Dumbo Defenders.


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## North_Of_60 (May 30, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *momileigh* 
I guess you should have laid your kid on the floor and let them scream... better than a foam chair, right?

And let her "CIO"? The I'd REALLY be the worlds worst mother. LOL. I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't. Let's recap, shall we?

Crying = BAD. Never, ever let a baby cry if you have the means to prevent it.









Bumbo = BAD. You'll end up with a developmentally compromised child with bad hips and a bad back. Not to mention the fact that you should never put your child down, I mean, that's why they have water slings, right? You can sling your child in the shower, on the toilet, put them on your back while you cook, while you eat, while you clean, etc. Problem solved, right?









Come on people. Which is more important, a happy baby who isn't screaming and causing "irreparable emotional damage", or sitting in a freaking bumbo for 5 minutes while I wipe my butt?

The REALITY of the situation is that not everyone has the support network in place to _never_ rely on a less then natural, ergonomically correct, totally organic baby product. I suppose I could do like my early cave dwelling ancestors and cover some logs with a bear skin hide and sit her up in that.. Nor is everyone in the physical shape to sling a child 24/7. I have to make compromises for my health. If I sling her 24/7 then we don't sleep together. I have to prioritize how I raise my daughter and evaluate which "necessities" are the MOST necessary. Quit frankly, I think nursing is the number 1 biggest necessity. If I am too sore and my back is flaring up it is simply too painful to lay with her at night so she can eat.

So yeah, anyone who wants to give me the "you can live without a bumbo" crap can bite me. It was a necessary evil, and to this day it remains the ONE and ONLY "baby containing object" that she never fought to get out, screamed when I put her in, or otherwise hated. It was needed. Period.

And with that said, I am forever done on this topic. To all those who DO have the support, and ARE capable of holding your child 24/7, ENJOY it, not everyone is that fortunate!


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *comfybuns* 
AS do the pack n play in the background of that same picture and the Johnny jumper in the other pic.
*Gasp* Aren't those containment devices?????







:

Yes they are. There are also, gasp plastic toys and plastic bottles on the floor too in one of the ones, where the children are watch TV. Also, some pics you can see where the kids are wearing sposies too.

I really don't care if you use those things personally -- I just that if you DO use them you shouldn't act like 1)your kids never watch TV 2)you never use a containment device when you have THREE visible from the pics you show everyone and 3) claim to Cd and potty train your kids before they can walk but then show walking kids with sposies on.

I loved having a swing. I own a pack n play for traveling. I have a highchair for my kids to eat of. I own strollers, a $$$ to be exact, and I will buy me a foam bumbo seat when this next child comes along, that my next door PT with the PHd sees nothing wrong with used in moderation.


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## nonconformnmom (May 24, 2005)

You know, nothing makes me lose respect for message board members like seeing several people gang up on one member and attack that member personally. There's just no call for that. I haven't seen the photos referred to above, but how do you know they were taken at the member's home? Maybe they were taken somewhere else.

Or, perhaps the photos were made before she learned of her reasons for objecting to plastic and now she doesn't use it anymore but those photos were from before? I know if someone saw photos of my home with my first baby as opposed to the way I manage things now with my later babies, people would jump to similar conclusions about me. When we know better, we do better.

It's not fair to jump to conclusions - but even if those conclusions are correct, it's in very poor taste to gang up and attack someone in this manner.


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nonconformnmom* 
You know, nothing makes me lose respect for message board members like seeing several people gang up on one member and attack that member personally. There's just no call for that. I haven't seen the photos referred to above, but how do you know they were taken at the member's home? Maybe they were taken somewhere else.

Or, perhaps the photos were made before she learned of her reasons for objecting to plastic and now she doesn't use it anymore but those photos were from before? I know if someone saw photos of my home with my first baby as opposed to the way I manage things now with my later babies, people would jump to similar conclusions about me. When we know better, we do better.

It's not fair to jump to conclusions - but even if those conclusions are correct, it's in very poor taste to gang up and attack someone in this manner.









She said they were. The pics are also labeled. Some are also recent. She is judging mommas because they use a Bumbo seat and has said in other posts deragatory comments about "containment" devices -- I think its wrong to judge other mommas and act superior in their parenting methods, when you yourself are doing exactly what you are preaching against.


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## comfybuns (Apr 19, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nonconformnmom* 
It's not fair to jump to conclusions - but even if those conclusions are correct, it's in very poor taste to gang up and attack someone in this manner.









It is in poor taste to tell people that their choices are wrong, and to constantly preach your choces and then contradict them constantly, whether in pictures or words.
My belief is that if you are going to take a solid stance for or against anything, be prepared to back up your stance.
I would fully expect someone to point out inconsistencies in my 'stories' if here were any.


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## nonconformnmom (May 24, 2005)

Two wrongs don't make a right.


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## momileigh (Oct 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Joannarachel* 
And BITE ME to whomever compared this to 'CIO'. Just bite me.







:










I need to learn to be this concise.


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nonconformnmom* 
Two wrongs don't make a right.

I am of the belief that if someone in your community (any community) continues to be dishonest or misleading then they should be called on it. They shouldn't be allowed to continue it just in the name of being nice.


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## nonconformnmom (May 24, 2005)

It's not my place to speak for MITB, but since it's really unfair to continue attacking her while she's obviously not available to respond to the attacks, I think the appropriate thing to do is to stop and give her a chance.

However, in reading the containment thread MITB referenced, I do see where she posted that due to her involvement with CPS, she does have things in her house like playpen, crib, stroller, etc. but that they mainly just sit there collecting dust and clothes.


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## Chronic Chrissy (Sep 4, 2006)

: Here we go again attacking other members because they don't CONFORM(yes) to all AP techniques and beliefs.

I see this place as a tool to work on the AP that we do practise, as well as educate others and ourselves in regaurds to mainstream tools and techniques and how to use them most effectivly without abusing them or causing damage. We should not criticize a member for making a choice that they believed was best for them and their family.

I've written and erased so many things already because they just aren't coming out right, so I'll just get to the point because at this point I've already wasted 30 minutes.
Let's make that 45 min...
60minutes but this is the best way I know to put it please forgive me if I've offended some I don't mean to target this is all general.

We all have a common cause here, we want to bettter our childrens lives and parent in a way that we can say "I did my best for her/him the best way I know how". One thing I know is that if my child were screaming and crying and I've tried everything and notheing works, then a friend suggests a vibrating chair and it works to lull my child to sleep after 30 sec, I'm going to use this resource when I need to.(this actually happened at a friends house) I think that our children, as young as they are, are intitled to choice and preference to a certain degree, it's their right to individuality. If my DD likes one toy over another and it's plastic, it doesn't mean that she will like only plastic toys, it just means she likes that toy and you should develope the enviroment to teach her that her opinions and prefences are valued and considered. If a baby wants to sit before they can and loves her bumbo, then let her have a good time in it and have a good time with her, show her that you are always there and available to meet her needs AND WANTS, even if what she wants isn't what you want. Show her/him that they can depend on you to accept them the way they are. If they like the swing, let them swing, if they like to be rocked rock them. If they like the stroller because you can hang toys from it to play with do it, if they want to be worn facing out instead of in I let them so why wouldn't I let them make use of other joys I can accommidate?

We all parent differently and make acceptions to our original veiws to fit our evolving family as well as society(carseats in moving vehicles), they need to learn of both worlds, how they interact, clash, balance eachother, and tear eachother apart.


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## momileigh (Oct 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nonconformnmom* 
It's not my place to speak for MITB, but since it's really unfair to continue attacking her while she's obviously not available to respond to the attacks, I think the appropriate thing to do is to stop and give her a chance.

However, in reading the containment thread MITB referenced, I do see where she posted that due to her involvement with CPS, she does have things in her house like playpen, crib, stroller, etc. but that they mainly just sit there collecting dust and clothes.

The thing is, I don't think anyone wants to judge someone for having that stuff in their house, whether its a plastic bottle or a crib or whatever. She isn't being "attacked" for having that stuff, and she shouldn't feel the need to defend having that stuff in her house. She is only being called on the carpet for coming in here and saying that "plastic and containers are big no-no's" (a rather high-horse statement IMO) when clearly not even she lives without such things.

I hope she'll take the "attacks" as more of a ribbing than anything else... at least, I hope they were all given in that spirit, and not a "crucify the mama" spirit. My contribution (busted!) was certainly intended in a friendly-ribbing "Boo-yah" kind of way.

The only thing she might feel the need to do is come back and say something like, "Well, I guess I'm not plastic-free or container-free, and what I meant to say is we try not to use plastic as much as possible, and we do without containers most of the time, so we don't feel the need to use a bumbo. Sorry if I came across as holier-than-thou about plastics and containers, and I also realize that bumbos are foam, not plastic."


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## runes (Aug 5, 2004)

once again, the cognitive dissonance and rationalization is transparent.









since when did restricting the number of plastic or not using baby containment devices become the hallmark of "acting superior"?

oh, it happened when it caused YOU to FEEL inferior. and then come back and bash those mamas that made you feel that way.

nice.


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## Joannarachel (Dec 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kidspiration* 
once again, the cognitive dissonance and rationalization is transparent.









since when did restricting the number of plastic or not using baby containment devices become the hallmark of "acting superior"?

oh, it happened when it caused YOU to FEEL inferior. and then come back and bash those mamas that made you feel that way.

nice.


I think it's pretty clear from the post that the information wasn't provided in an innocent tone, but a condescending tone. I don't feel inferior, because I don't believe I have done anything wrong. But I do believe MITB intended to condescend.


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## runes (Aug 5, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *North_Of_60* 
And let her "CIO"? The I'd REALLY be the worlds worst mother. LOL. I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't. Let's recap, shall we?

Crying = BAD. Never, ever let a baby cry if you have the means to prevent it.









Bumbo = BAD. You'll end up with a developmentally compromised child with bad hips and a bad back. Not to mention the fact that you should never put your child down, I mean, that's why they have water slings, right? You can sling your child in the shower, on the toilet, put them on your back while you cook, while you eat, while you clean, etc. Problem solved, right?









Come on people. Which is more important, a happy baby who isn't screaming and causing "irreparable emotional damage", or sitting in a freaking bumbo for 5 minutes while I wipe my butt?

The REALITY of the situation is that not everyone has the support network in place to _never_ rely on a less then natural, ergonomically correct, totally organic baby product. I suppose I could do like my early cave dwelling ancestors and cover some logs with a bear skin hide and sit her up in that.. Nor is everyone in the physical shape to sling a child 24/7. I have to make compromises for my health. If I sling her 24/7 then we don't sleep together. I have to prioritize how I raise my daughter and evaluate which "necessities" are the MOST necessary. Quit frankly, I think nursing is the number 1 biggest necessity. If I am too sore and my back is flaring up it is simply too painful to lay with her at night so she can eat.

*So yeah, anyone who wants to give me the "you can live without a bumbo" crap can bite me.* It was a necessary evil, and to this day it remains the ONE and ONLY "baby containing object" that she never fought to get out, screamed when I put her in, or otherwise hated. It was needed. Period.

And with that said, I am forever done on this topic. To all those who DO have the support, and ARE capable of holding your child 24/7, ENJOY it, not everyone is that fortunate!









your "bite me" comment stands out, because you lash out in one sentence and then in the next say that it was a "necessary evil".

after reading about some of your health and support issues in this thread and others, it does become apparent that you might have been in need of something to place your daughter in for short periods of time. fully acknowledged that in your case the bumbo was the right choice for you and your family. i completely believe you when you stated in the past that your dd is only in it for short periods of time. but can you agree that the bumbo is not the be-all end-all must have baby device that it is often touted to be? i agree that given no other (healthier) options, that it might be of use in certain situations such as yours but i firmly believe that it doesn't belong on every baby's gift registry.

the other thing that i am quite disappointed in is your assumptions that all of us lucky non-bumbo using mothers are bonbon eating sahm's that have hired help or family close by and hold their content babies all day, the birds are chirping the angels are singing etc etc etc. oh, and we have superiority complexes.

in the interest of full disclosure and honesty...i will tell you that i don't know what it's like to go to the bathroom while caring for a young infant. would you like to know why? because for most of the time from when dd was 2 weeks old until she was 5 months old, i had a urinary catheter because my bladder was torn during my horribly interventive birth. i had to have surgery to correct it and at one point during that five month period, i actually had not just one but TWO catheters coming out of my body (if you must know...a suprapubic AND a foley). so i didn't have to go to pee in the sense that most if not all of you know it...but i did have to go and empty that bag. depending upon whether i was well hydrated and if i was wearing the much smaller but more discreet leg bag, sometimes it was every 20-30 minutes. it was a nightmare that i wouldn't wish upon anybody.

after the catheters were removed, i was so relieved to be able to actually sit down and pee (i will NEVER take that simple act for granted again!














. after that point, i did bring dd into the bathroom with me and she sat on my lap while i used the toilet. before that, when the catheters were still in and 'peeing' was a stand-up, two hand operation to empty the bag, i brought our jogging stroller into our house and placed it at the door of our bathroom so that dd would be right there. i did my own risk benefit analysis of what would be the most appropriate and safe place to put dd in those moments when i needed to take care of myself, that was it. i didn't feel compelled to go out and purchase something special in order to do this, and also with knowing about the alignment issues with the bumbo, it never was an option for me. so yes, i do feel like it's entirely possible, even in dire situations, to not have to use certain baby containment devices. because i lived it. and i won't tell anyone to bite me because, well...that's just plain rude.


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## Chronic Chrissy (Sep 4, 2006)

When people feel attacked and ganged up on they often feel defensive. And considering that communication through computers is the most unnatural form of communication(but let's not get into that) it is often misinterpreted and understood in a way intended by the writer. Believe me I know once I was in North's postion while she and others ganged up on me, but no hard feelings. What I'm trying to get at is that different people react in different ways, and I can see how someone can feel attacked when there are alot of people are saying that an action they took under certain circumstances was bad for their child. SO she defends herself and lashes out, now the another handful instist on targeting her more. She was mad and got harsh, it's over. It's hard to communicate our feelings, and they are often taken the wrong way, she just wanted everyone to back off and to accept that she is different and it works for her, that doesn't mean she thinks it's best for you.

Have some compassion for everyone and accept that with the stess of raising children(yes it is stressful as fun as it is, even with easy babies) sometimes sore spots are hit that result in some much needed venting.


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## momileigh (Oct 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kidspiration* 
i didn't feel compelled to go out and purchase something special in order to do this, and also with knowing about the alignment issues with the bumbo, it never was an option for me. so yes, i do feel like it's entirely possible, even in dire situations, to not have to use certain baby containment devices. because i lived it.

I'm kinda butting in here, but:

Kidspiration, I get that you think there is an alignment issue with the Bumbo. And you feel you are uniquely qualified, or at least especially qualified, to explain that and express your concerns. I think that's cool, it is certainly something you should share. I don't agree with it, but I value your opinion.

It seems that you are not against "all baby containers" but you just feel this particular one isn't a good one. Fine. Can't we keep it at that? Why imply that anyone who uses a Bumbo felt COMPELLED to go out and get one? Isn't it possible that some people preferred the look of it, feel of it, position, price, size, versatility, etc? There were times when my dd would have been very annoyed to be strapped into your magical jogging stroller. You've heard all the reasons that people like their Bumbos. You feel the alignment issue overrides all those reasons. Great. But please allow for the fact that not everyone is going to buy your theory, and it doesn't necessarily cancel out the reasons that people do use Bumbos.

I agree with your sentiment that Bumbos are not something that everyone needs or babies are going to be deprived without. I don't hear anyone actually saying that here. But if someone is considering buying one, or if they were given one and are wondering whether to try it or not, or they are currently using one, they may want to hear all sides. It doesn't mean we are all mindless Dumbo Defenders who will go down fighting until every baby has a Bumbo to sit in come hell or high water.

And you know what? I've managed to survive without a jogging stroller. Never owned one. Never felt compelled to go out and spend that kind of money on one. My kids have never, ever been strapped into a jogging stroller, and probably never will be. Do I get a cookie for that?


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## nonconformnmom (May 24, 2005)

Quote:

*ChronicChrissy* wrote: What I'm trying to get at is that different people react in different ways, and I can see how someone can feel attacked when there are alot of people are saying that an action they took under certain circumstances was bad for their child.
Are you _seriously_ trying to say that the members who use and advocate for the Bumbo seat are the ones that are being attacked on this thread?!







: You really need to go back and read the entire thread. Count the posts that are in favor of the seat and those that are not. Then look at the posts that attack people personally, and tell me which category they fit into.


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## momileigh (Oct 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nonconformnmom* 
Are you _seriously_ trying to say that the members who use and advocate for the Bumbo seat are the ones that are being attacked on this thread?!







: You really need to go back and read the entire thread. Count the posts that are in favor of the seat and those that are not. Then look at the posts that attack people personally, and tell me which category they fit into.

I don't see any of the bumbo users implying that they are better parents because they use a bumbo. That's the difference that's got people upset.


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## Chronic Chrissy (Sep 4, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nonconformnmom* 
Are you _seriously_ trying to say that the members who use and advocate for the Bumbo seat are the ones that are being attacked on this thread?!







: You really need to go back and read the entire thread. Count the posts that are in favor of the seat and those that are not. Then look at the posts that attack people personally, and tell me which category they fit into.

I'm not saying the people, I'm saying this person may feel like she is being attacked inadvertantly by others posts.


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## nonconformnmom (May 24, 2005)

One of my biggest frustrations about mainstream message boards is that whenever I say that I breastfeed my baby, formula feeding moms get upset because they think that I am implying that I am a better parent. I wasn't; I was simply stating the decision I have made for my family.

The posts on this thread that are critical of the bumbo are just that, being critical of the product. There are many threads here on MDC that are critical of products. Saying that someone doesn't see the value in using a product does not mean that the person thinks they are a better parent than someone else.


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## gnutter (Jan 5, 2006)

I think that it would be fair to say that anyone who is on this thread and cares this much about their babies development, alignment, and exposure to plastics is a better than "good enough" parent. Everyone here has put more thought into how they want their children to be raised than most people I know. I have a son who is now 15-he used a WALKER!! GASP! he is now 6ft 2 and walks and runs fine-people point out all the time how graceful he is despite being tall and lanky-this is not because of the walker though, obviously.
Many of these things that we really worry about now don't have long term effects the way WE HERE use them. We here at mdc for the most part try to raise our children as free range as possible. everyone needs a little crutch-I have a swing, and a bumbo seat-I use a stroller sometimes. But the thing is that we all care enough to think about it before we sit our babies down and ignore them all day. IF you can take a few mintues to wipe your butt because of the bumbo then hey-that is great-we all need a clean butt. The baby swing has meant thatat 2:00 am I can sleep on the couch because it has lulled ds back to sleep when I was too tired to keep walking him around.

We all do what we can-and shouldn't be ashamed of what we do-we are here because we all wnat to share info about raising our babies in the best way we can. That speaks volumes for the kind of mothers we are.


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## momileigh (Oct 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nonconformnmom* 
One of my biggest frustrations about mainstream message boards is that whenever I say that I breastfeed my baby, formula feeding moms get upset because they think that I am implying that I am a better parent. I wasn't; I was simply stating the decision I have made for my family.

The posts on this thread that are critical of the bumbo are just that, being critical of the product. There are many threads here on MDC that are critical of products. Saying that someone doesn't see the value in using a product does not mean that the person thinks they are a better parent than someone else.

If you go to a thread debating whether to buy organic food or not, and you say, "Anything nonorganic is a huge no-no for me," that is going to come across as condescending.

If you go to a thread where people want to find out about homeschooling vs. private school, and you say, "Anything institutional is a huge no-no for me," that is going to sound condescending.

If you go to a cooking thread where some people say they sometimes use pancake mix, and you say, "Anything pre-mixed is a huge no-no for me," that is going to sound like an attack. And any of those comments are going to make people who do those "no-no's" WANT to catch you in the act of using something nonorganic, institutional, or pre-mixed! Can't you see that?

Of course MDC is going to be a safe place regarding breastfeeding and no one is going to get offended over that here. But the last time I checked, bfing and using (or not using) something made of plastic (or foam) weren't exactly equal values in this community.

ETA I agree that we should wait for MITB to come back before there are pages and pages about her post for her to catch up on so I'm going to leave for a while.


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## runes (Aug 5, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *momileigh* 
I'm kinda butting in here, but:

Kidspiration, I get that you think there is an alignment issue with the Bumbo. And you feel you are uniquely qualified, or at least especially qualified, to explain that and express your concerns. I think that's cool, it is certainly something you should share. I don't agree with it, but I value your opinion.

It seems that you are not against "all baby containers" but you just feel this particular one isn't a good one. Fine. Can't we keep it at that? Why imply that anyone who uses a Bumbo felt COMPELLED to go out and get one? Isn't it possible that some people preferred the look of it, feel of it, position, price, size, versatility, etc? There were times when my dd would have been very annoyed to be strapped into your magical jogging stroller. You've heard all the reasons that people like their Bumbos. You feel the alignment issue overrides all those reasons. Great. But please allow for the fact that not everyone is going to buy your theory, and it doesn't necessarily cancel out the reasons that people do use Bumbos.

I agree with your sentiment that Bumbos are not something that everyone needs or babies are going to be deprived without. I don't hear anyone actually saying that here. But if someone is considering buying one, or if they were given one and are wondering whether to try it or not, or they are currently using one, they may want to hear all sides. It doesn't mean we are all mindless Dumbo Defenders who will go down fighting until every baby has a Bumbo to sit in come hell or high water.

And you know what? I've managed to survive without a jogging stroller. Never owned one. Never felt compelled to go out and spend that kind of money on one. My kids have never, ever been strapped into a jogging stroller, and probably never will be. Do I get a cookie for that?

i'm not understanding. magical baby stroller? where did you get that from?

who's giving out cookies?

thinly veiled hostility is still...well...hostile.

i'm sticking around because i love this community, and i WILL be here to objectively discuss both the pros and the cons of certain devices such as bumbos, bjorns, walkers, jumpers, exersaucers etc etc. i've done my best to maintain civility, honesty and to present my view NOT primarily as an ap parent, but as a mother who happens to have experience in issues pertaining to child development, more specifically, gross motor development. i admit at times i do get passionate because this subject is near and dear to my heart. but i've never claimed that i am a better mother or expect "cookies" for the choices that i make. i have no need to flex my muscles, cry crunchier-than-thou and compare my parenting choices to others on an internet message board, nor do i derive any sort of satisfaction or personal gratification from that. if you do not like my input and contributions to the discussions at hand, put me on your ignore list.

me? i like to hear all sides on an issue. sometimes, especially here on mdc i read about perspectives that i might never have thought of. i've also read about topics that have made me uncomfortable, for which i always end up being grateful for because it helps to expand my frame of reference. but damned if i'm going to bury my own head in the sand for fear of learning that it's possible that some of the choices that i might make as a parent can be questionable. i prefer to live my life with eyes wide open. if i can help parents do that in the areas that i feel i might be somewhat qualified to comment upon then i'm going to do it. if, in learning about the flip side of the coin, it allows parents to make FULLY INFORMED and conscious decisions in their life, then my job is done.


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## ~Ryleigh's Mommy~ (Jun 28, 2006)

Ok, I wasn't expecting that kind of reaction to my post, so I went back and reread what I wrote. You are right, and it did sound condescending. Please accept my apologies. I did not mean for it so sound how you all took it. Let me try to explain better the two things that I wrote that ticked people off:
*The part about the bumbo not being necessary:* trying to think of how to word this better......Ok, this was mainly a 'defensive' commment. All I was trying to say was that just like you all who did not like being told that your child was being harmed by being put in a bumbo, I did not like the idea that because I am a 'single' mother, that my baby suffers when I have to go to the bathroom or eat etc because I do not have a bumbo to put her in (ie the comments about putting them on the floor for them to cry etc). My baby HATES being on the floor. That is why I have a bouncy seat to put her down in when I need to. I do not sling her 24/7 (in fact, I did not even have a sling until she was 2 months old) but I also do not just abandon her in some uncomfortable place for her to scream either. (See what I'm saying?) Yes, I use a bouncy compared to a bumbo, because the bouncy cradles her and supports her neck, back, and head, and doesn't lock her hips, while still allowing her to sit up like the bumbo does. Same with the Boppy pillow when she got older. I never just laid her down and let her cry like people were insinuating about people who did not use a bumbo for such times.
I didn't mean that you were a bad mother for using a bumbo, as I made clear with this statement (which people chose not to acknowledge):

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Ryleigh's Mommy~* 
I have nothing against people who use bumbos, and I'm not trying to bash you

Just that I was also not a bad mother for NOT using one, like was earlier implied.
*
The part about the mainstream board:* I was NOT equating bumbo seats to CIO!!! The only thing I was saying, was that I don't like the reasoning that because your child isn't dead or maimed, that it is good for them. For instance, I have no problem with people who decide to vaccinate or not vaccinate because they did the research and decided that that was the best thing for their child. But it bothers me when people say, "well I vax my child, and they're not crippled!" or "Well, I didn't vax, and they are still alive!" Or on the mainstream boards, when moms say "my kid cries herself to sleep every night, and they still love me!" Now if someone said "I did cio bc I tried every technique possible, I was dead on my feet and it was interfering with my daytime parenting" That would be more acceptable then "I did it, and they're ok!"
Get what I mean? Also, that something is good for them just because they like it. Many kids like candy, but it doesn't mean it is good for them. Are you a bad parent, or will they be doomed if you give them candy in moderation? NO! But it doesn't mean that it is good for them or they are missing out if they don't have it.

I am very very sorry that some of you took my post as you did. I will say it a 3rd time, just in case anyone missed it: I do not think that if you use a bumbo you are a bad mother!! I will not judge you either way! The only thing I have against them, is that they can be detrimental to their spine etc. But if you use one in moderation, because you feel that the benefits outweigh the detriments, hey, thats cool with me too!
Please accept my apologies







:


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## runes (Aug 5, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *momileigh* 
If you go to a thread debating whether to buy organic food or not, and you say, "Anything nonorganic is a huge no-no for me," that is going to come across as condescending.

If you go to a thread where people want to find out about homeschooling vs. private school, and you say, "Anything institutional is a huge no-no for me," that is going to sound condescending.

If you go to a cooking thread where some people say they sometimes use pancake mix, and you say, "Anything pre-mixed is a huge no-no for me," that is going to sound like an attack. And any of those comments are going to make people who do those "no-no's" WANT to catch you in the act of using something nonorganic, institutional, or pre-mixed! Can't you see that?

Of course MDC is going to be a safe place regarding breastfeeding and no one is going to get offended over that here. But the last time I checked, bfing and using (or not using) something made of plastic (or foam) weren't exactly equal values in this community.

ETA I agree that we should wait for MITB to come back before there are pages and pages about her post for her to catch up on so I'm going to leave for a while.

in the scenarios that you describe, i don't find those comments attacking or condescending at all. it is an opinion. ok, a bit curt and maybe not so helpful in the edification department, as i would want to know WHY to learn their perspectives, but i don't sense an attitude with those statements at all.

now...to say for example "anything premixed is a huge no-no to me and any mother who chooses to feed their children something from a box isn't fit to have children" is confrontational, rude and condescending. but if someone says "anything premixed is a huge no-no for me because processed food has so many chemicals in it that could potentially be dangerous for children to ingest"...that's informational, the rationale is clear, there is no judgement. then all of a sudden a mom who feed their child premixed food reads that and thinks "hmmm...i feed my children processed food, and this mom is saying that i'm putting them in danger and how dare she say that, who does she think she is, that know-it-all, self righteous b!tch, she thinks she's a better mother than me!"...EVEN THOUGH that was neither stated NOR implied.

then she posts "well MY baby LOVES premixed food, of course i only give it to him once in a while and he just gobbles it up and is so happy about it and he's FINE. how do you get through your life without eating processed food? for all of you moms out there who cook from scratch for your babies all the time, BITE me."

THAT, in a nutshell, is what happened in this thread.


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Joannarachel* 
I think it's pretty clear from the post that the information wasn't provided in an innocent tone, but a condescending tone. I don't feel inferior, because I don't believe I have done anything wrong. But I do believe MITB intended to condescend.

I am proud to own plastic baby toys. I love Fisher Price! Graco! etc. I have baby "containment" devices and don't mind using them. I have a large family that has to be looked after and fed, and sometimes I need both hands and I don't necessarily want my child on the floor. My kids enjoyed johnny jumpers, bouncers, and swings. I don't feel inferior for using these items, nor do I think using them makes me or anyone else a bad parent.


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## ~Ryleigh's Mommy~ (Jun 28, 2006)

That said, I would like to address a few of the comments that were made to me:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *momileigh* 
I'm guessing you don't "hold down the fort" as much as "keep the mommy wars' fires blazing."

Actually, I do not get involved in the threads where there are "wars" going on about BF vs FF, CIO vs co-sleeping etc. I will try to nudge someone in the 'right' direction though. Say, if they are having a hard time BFing and are thinking about giving up I might say "You might try some fenugreek and a nursing vacation to help your supply come back", and then I will have to put a little disclaimer on there saying "but you are not a failure if you have to switch to formula, you tried your best!" Or if someone is having trouble with a colicky baby, I might suggests a sling. If someone is considering CIO, I will say "have you considered co-sleeping?" and describe all the benefits of it.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *momileigh* 
And SO WHAT if someone uses a walker and their baby likes it? Or if they use a baby bucket sometimes? I know BILLIONS of AP moms who occasionally make use of these items. Hey, I admit, I rejoice when I see a mom in the mall with her baby in a sling and no stroller. But most moms with slings IME also have a stroller with them. I HATE to see a baby carried around by a handle when they ought to be carried close. But if your babe is asleep in their carseat and you choose to leave them sleeping in there while you shop or come in from your car and put away groceries.... There is a place for righteous indignation... and there is a place for accepting moms who make judicious use of modern babycare items.

Hmmmm, I thought that since I was posting on MDC about moms on a mainstream board, that they would know that I was talking about moms who's babies never left the carseat except for a diaper change, or whose kids toddled around the house in a walker alllll day with juice bottle in hand etc. I personally have nothing against "containment devices" as long as they are limited to 10 minutes a day etc. I have on many occasions left my baby in the car seat when she fell asleep and needed a nap. You know, this reminds me of when I post on my mainstream board, I have to write a disclaimer to every statement I make, because someone is bound to take it out of context that I am being judgemental. But I figured that on MDC, people would understand what I mean.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *momileigh* 
Heck, I could jump down your throat for using diapers instead of doing the natural thing and ec'ing. I have a feeling if I did a little home inspection I could find lots of things to judge you for.

Well, since you do seem to enjoy bashing me today, I will go ahead and list all those things. Well lets see, first there's my bouncer. Like I said earlier, since we all need to put our babies down somewhere where they will be happy, I chose that because it is somewhere where she can sit up, and it supports her correctly. I have a swing that was given to us. And while it has never even had a battery, she did sleep in it for the first 5 months of her life. She had severe GERD and choked on her own stomach contents when put on her back. I did not feel like going out and buying a crib so I could use a Tucker sling, so I put her in the swing next to my bed at night so that she could be elevated. Oh, and she even has a binkie, because I do not feel like holding my nipple in her mouth all night after she falls asleep. I have carried her in the car seat when she was sleeping, and I even used it to put her to sleep. I had her in the hospital because I could not find a MW willing to HB in my area. Where she then got a HepB shot, Vit K shot, and eye goup because due to medical complications with me, my husband did not follow her to the nursery to make sure they followed our birth plan that she was not to get any of those things. Yes she does wear cloth diapers, because before I came to MDC, I had never heard of EC. Hmm what else makes me a "bad mother" that you can further attack me for.....I still don't feel that "bond" with my baby that every good mother is supposed to have. She is extremely high needs, and I have never been able to just sit and spend quality time with her. I have to be walking around bouncing her, thinking of different things to distract her from the pain of her reflux. She is 7 months old, and I still have not had one day where I don't cry and feel like pulling my hair out. I have shut myself off from the world because everyone blames her behavior on my parenting. As a result of that, no one else but me can hold her (not even dad). At least once a week, I feel like dropping her off at the hospital and driving far far away. It has taken me over 3 hours (and counting) to write all this, becuase when she naps, she only stays asleep for about 10minutes at a time and I have to keep going and nursing her back to sleep so she gets a decent amount of napping in. So yes, I am a horrible mother, and I find the comments that I "put myself up on a pedestal" (just because I wanted to defend people who don't use a bumbo )extremely hurtful. I have never felt like a better mother than anybody I've ever known.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *momileigh* 
As soon as you're done berating adoptive moms for supplementing their induced lactation with formula, I'm sure I'll have the pleasure of reading your reply.

Wow, I think that was definetely uncalled for. I never brought up the subject of FFing at all. Furthermore, how do you know that my child is biological, or that I even chose to breastfeed? I can understand if you disagree with me that I don't think that bumbos are necessary for everybody, but I think you are taking this way too far here.
This is exactly why I post on a mainstream board, and usually only lurk on MDC. Because even though I am the complete opposite parenting style of the people over there, and it breaks my heart to read about all the poor babies crying until they are hoarse, or having to get fitted with a helmet for positional plagiocephy, at least over there, if you make a comment that someone disagrees with, they do not call you names, attack you personally or your character. They disagree with you and tell you why. While I disagreed with people that a bumbo is the only way that your baby won't suffer needlessly if you are a single mom and you need to put them down, but I NEVER said that anyone who used one was a bad mom or attacked them personally like what was done to me here.


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## aynaffitq (Jul 5, 2006)

~Ryleigh's Mommy~


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## kriskriskris (Aug 18, 2006)

OK, here goes... I have just been following the posts, have not posted in the past, just reading what everbody has to say... do you ladies think that we can just end the discussion now because all I see now is that everybody is lashing out at everybody else, people are getting thier feelings hurt, and I think at some point this thread has stopped being productive. I understand wanting to stand up for what you believe and wanting to defend your comments but if you take a really good look at whats being said, it has now turned to "mud slinging".

Can a moderator close this thread before more "damage" is done?


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## lrlittle (Nov 11, 2005)

dude, this is at least the 3rd angry bumbo thread i've read in the last few months. even if i did want one, i wouldn't now. all i'd think about when i looked at it are these anger-filled threads! what is it with this topic?!?!







:


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## ~Ryleigh's Mommy~ (Jun 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lrlittle* 
dude, this is at least the 3rd angry bumbo thread i've read in the last few months. even if i did want one, i wouldn't now. all i'd think about when i looked at it are these anger-filled threads! what is it with this topic?!?!







:


Oh I know, people get as angry and defensive about the bumbo subject on MDC as people get on the BF vs FF threads on the mainstream boards. I guess we all just want to feel like we are being the best mothers we can be, and when someone challenges that, it hits a nerve.


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## Chronic Chrissy (Sep 4, 2006)

Ryleigh's Mommy








I hope you didn't think that what I said was targeted at you. I want to tell you that you are a good Mom, you may not have bonded with your baby but you do love you baby.
This message is in general
I just hope that others understand that we each have our own ways of parenting and meeting our childrens needs and if the whole family is happy, healthy, and balanced our jo is being done, and even if it isn't parenting is a process that throws curveballs that need to be worked thourgh and overcome in ways individual to each family unit. Feelings have been hurt, and ways of life attacked for no better reason then wanting everyone else to conform to your choice of what you believe is best.


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## aweynsayl (Sep 27, 2003)

certainly not adding any comments, just sending huge hugs to everyone who is so upset by this.


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## ~Ryleigh's Mommy~ (Jun 28, 2006)

I just wanted to clarify that its not the bumbo subject, or even the statements that because I don't use a bumbo, my baby must lie on the floor crying that made me upset (though I did feel the need to defend it), it was the character attacks and name calling that followed my post in defense of people who don't use them that upset me.

So if you didn't call me names, or attack me personally, don't worry, you didn't upset me


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## momileigh (Oct 29, 2002)

Ryleigh's Mommy, you admitted yourself that your post, upon rereading, was condescending. I read it and it ticked me off. It DID equate using a Bumbo to CIO. If that isn't how you feel, then I'm *glad.* It means that we have a miscommunication.

Obviously we don't know each other personally and I was reacting not to you as a person, but to what you typed. You have modified your position (by explaining better) so I no longer think you must be a terribly judgmental person.

Now you also know something about me, and that's that when I get ticked off, I can be a little bulldoggish. Sorry.


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## North_Of_60 (May 30, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kidspiration* 
after reading about some of your health and support issues in this thread and others, it does become apparent that you might have been in need of something to place your daughter in for short periods of time. fully acknowledged that in your case the bumbo was the right choice for you and your family.

THANK-YOU. Thank you for acknowledging that something that is otherwise associated with a lack of attachment and unnatural life style can, in certain circumstances, be a useful item.

Quote:

but can you agree that the bumbo is not the be-all end-all must have baby device that it is often touted to be? i agree that given no other (healthier) options, that it might be of use in certain situations such as yours but i firmly believe that it doesn't belong on every baby's gift registry.
Absolutely! I challenge anyone on the world wide web to find ANY post of mine that advocates, encourages, or otherwise suggests that someone go out and buy a Bumbo. I simply wanted to point out that in *MY* situation it came in very handy. In fact, in the beginning of this thread I actually AGREED with the "developmentally inappropriate" comments. I feel that the Bumbo is talked about under one giant umbrella - Bumbo bad! I feel like I'm being prejudged for something that at the time I didn't see any other alternative too. Yep, I feel backed into a corner. "What, you're on MDC and USE a Bumbo, your kid is gunna end up looking like the Hunchback of Notre Dame".

It hurts me _almost_ as bad as when I had to supplement with formula when I was having supply issues and people REPEATEDLY told me how BAD formula was, how it was going HARM my child, and how THEY would never use it. I didn't have a choice. (And in the spirit of always feeling judged, I feel it prudent to point out she has been formula free for 3 and a half months!) Instead of coming down on me for something that can't be avoided, why not just offer some encouragement and support for the situation in general? Just once it would be nice to hear someone say "it hurts you to wear your daughter? That must be awful, I really feel for you". Nope, instead they go on and on and on about how BAD the Bumbo is!!









And what's worse is when someone compares THEIR life to mine, only to follow it up with "and **I** don't need a Bumbo". Yeah? Good for you! That REEEEAAAAAALY frosts me. It's one thing to offer an educated opinion on the subject, such as you have done (this is not directed toward you, just a general thing), but it is another to get on your high horse and proverbially trot around the forums bragging about how anti-device you are. In the presence of my double mastectomy friend I don't flaunt how my 7 month old daughter is still proudly breastfeeding. It's insensitive. I know it's a sore subject with her.

Quote:

the other thing that i am quite disappointed in is your assumptions that all of us lucky non-bumbo using mothers are *bonbon eating sahm's* that have hired help or family close by and hold their content babies all day, *the birds are chirping the angels are singing etc etc etc.* oh, and we have superiority complexes.
All I can say is, huh?







I'm not understanding. Bon bons, birds chirping, angels singing? Where did you get that from? Is that sarcasm or thinly veiled hostility?









I'm a SAHM and if I haven't got time to eat, how would I have time to eat "bon bons"? Wow. LOL. How you got that out of my post is beyond me. If I'm so desperate for a place to put DD while I pee, why I would imply that all SAHM are listening to the birds sing while they eat candy?

If anything I only wanted to point out that a lot of people here take their 24/7 baby wearing and co-sleeping for granted. You can wear your baby from sun up to sun down? GREAT. I am truly envious of you. You can sleep the whole night scrunched up in bed a with a kung-fo baby? GREAT. I am really truly envious. The only time I think people get "superior" is when the the oneupmanship competitions start - "I don't need a bumbo, well, I don't need a bumbo or a swing, I don't need a bumbo a swing or an bouncy seat".. and so on.

My last post was directed toward Raleigh's Mommy and no one else, certainly not you. Her comment about her husband being out of town and *she* [insert superiority here] doesn't need the Bumbo.

Quote:

in the interest of full disclosure and honesty...i will tell you that i don't know what it's like to go to the bathroom while caring for a young infant. would you like to know why? because for most of the time from when dd was 2 weeks old until she was 5 months old, i had a urinary catheter because my bladder was torn during my horribly interventive birth.
I'm sorry for your problems.









Quote:

so yes, i do feel like it's entirely possible, even in dire situations, to not have to use certain baby containment devices. because i lived it.
I'm glad it worked for you. I tried other things. I tried our stroller (she screamed), I tried the umbrella stroller (couldn't sit upright enough and would fall forward), I tried the baby bathtub with a blanket in it (she rolled out the sides of it). What I was using before the Bumbo was a wicker basket with a blanket in it. Same premise, it held her legs up so she could sit but it scratched her legs when she wiggled the blanket loose, plus it was tippy. So my MIL bought us the Bumbo. I used it for about 3 weeks.

Quote:

and i won't tell anyone to bite me because, well...that's just plain rude
Then I guess I'm rude.


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## North_Of_60 (May 30, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Ryleigh's Mommy~* 
Ok, I wasn't expecting that kind of reaction to my post, so I went back and reread what I wrote. You are right, and it did sound condescending. Please accept my apologies.

Thank-you. Sorry for telling you to bite me. I don't taste very good anyway.


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## North_Of_60 (May 30, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Chronic Chrissy* 
If a baby wants to sit before they can and loves her bumbo, then let her have a good time in it and have a good time with her, show her that you are always there and available to meet her needs AND WANTS, even if what she wants isn't what you want.

I totally disagree. If I let my daughter do things simply because _she_ liked them, her diet would consist of dog hair and dust bunnies (or what ever else she can pick up off the floor).

I did't use the Bumbo because my daughter liked it and I want her to have a good time. I used it because when I HAVE to put her down she tollerates it. I don't like the idea people running out and getting it specifically for the purpose of getting their child to sit up before they're ready. That's not why I use it. I could care less whether or not she's sitting up. I used it has a tool, not a pleasure device. I didn't put her in it to play, or for the thrill of sitting up, that's what my lap is for.

As parents we need to be conscious about making decisions that are based on our children's best interests, not making compromises on their best interests in order to keep them "happy". ETA: That may seem contradictory to my point, but I believe, in our situation and given the options, that it was better for her to not be crying.


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## emma_goldman (May 18, 2005)

*

it is funny how emotional we get about the Bumbo! Every time this topic comes up on the board there is a flurry of emotion.

Sorry to add to it! Anyway...


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## emma_goldman (May 18, 2005)

I would recommend buying a sling before buying a Bumbo. You can always prop the babe with pillows or a boppy or the laundry!

-Debora


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## DandeCobb (Jul 20, 2006)

NOTICE

This horse is officially dead.
Can we please stop beating it?


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## emma_goldman (May 18, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lrlittle* 
dude, this is at least the 3rd angry bumbo thread i've read in the last few months. even if i did want one, i wouldn't now. all i'd think about when i looked at it are these anger-filled threads! what is it with this topic?!?!







:

Maybe we should have a Bumbo "sticky"







. Or have them advertise with MDC







.

Should someone start a thread about what emotions come up for us with baby gear? I wonder if that's partly what it's about? I wonder if some people panic when they think of the mounds and mounds of plastic and packaging that flutters around in the universe? It does seem like some of us want acceptance for our parenting practices, and maybe some of us resent NOT being able to buy everything that may be fun to use? And of course some are worried that the mounds of plastic will take over...

Oh well, I'm waxing philosophical. (I'm trying to practice for helping my toddler reason emotions out...)


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## emma_goldman (May 18, 2005)

Not until she sings!

La! la la la la la LA!

La! la la la la la LA! La La!!


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *emma_goldman* 
I would recommend buying a sling before buying a Bumbo. You can always prop the babe with pillows or a boppy or the laundry!

-Debora

I have four children and only one has liked the sling. ONE. Also as a big breasted woman who already has back problems, after they got to be about 10lbs (i have little babies) it really began to hurt. I've tried all kinds of slings and its just not my thing. Boppies are nice too, but babies often scooch low and fall over and then SCREAM, same with pillows, same with laundry (which I've done all of that) -- so using a bumbo really isn't that big of a deal and its really no different. Its sitting your baby in something so you can do something else or play with your baby when they cant sit up or the siblings play with the baby while they sit in it.


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## North_Of_60 (May 30, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *OnTheFence* 
I have four children and only one has liked the sling. ONE. Also as a big breasted woman who already has back problems, after they got to be about 10lbs (i have little babies) it really began to hurt.

I have large breasts too (E's







: ) and I always hated wearing my sling in public because my boob would litterally smoosh out the side where the ring is. I swear, it looked like my boob was right about where my hip was. SO embarassing.









I love my wrap and mai tei though. It evenly distributes the weight, and my boobs don't "smoosh" out the side. DD was never really fond of the sling either, she likes being upright in the wraps. I do use it for the hip carry now.


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## ~Ryleigh's Mommy~ (Jun 28, 2006)

OMG TOTALLY hear you on the boob thing! I am a DD on a thin frame, and in a ring sling I look like an absolute moron!







When I am out in public I have 6 yards of fabric that I do the Moby wrap thing with and it works much better because my boobs get wrapped up with everything









North_of_60~ I just noticed our DDs were born on the same day. Ryleigh was born at 2:30am on 3/21/06


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