# Need help...4 year old won't take a bath...



## frogger (Apr 13, 2005)

Or a shower or anything that involves water. I even asked if he wanted to go to the swimming pool just so he could "wash".
I need ideas on how to get him in. I've bought new soap/shampoo, a bath toy, I've even let his sister in with him but he doesn't want any of it.
He cried and fought dh last time we forced a shower and it just tortures me but he needs to get clean.

Any and all ideas will greatly be appreciated!

TIA


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## bobica (May 31, 2004)

no real ideas- i have a shower hog here. is the water the main thing bothering him? would he wash by giving himself a sponge bath?


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## Tofu the Geek (Dec 2, 2003)

Would he get in the shower with you or DH?


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## frogger (Apr 13, 2005)

He's okay with the water part, it's the soaping up. We've tried all different kinds and he says they all burn his eyes so he wants nothing to do with soap from his neck up.

hmmmm maybe if I dilute the soap/shampoo. I think I'll try that tonight.

Shower hog....he use to be.








It's just a battle that I would rather not have.


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## JenniferC (Dec 5, 2002)

Have you tried therapeutic storytelling? Maybe before bathing time (but not right before so it's not too obvious) you could tell a story about a little toy that had a hard time bathing, and make it appropriate to his situation. We do this with our DD sometimes because she hates it when I detangle her hair in the shower with conditioner, and it often works. In our story we tell about a little girl who wouldn't let her Mom wash her hair, so her Mom didn't, and the next day they found a chunk of peanut butter in it...then it gets twigs, dirty leaves, food, birds building nests etc. etc. until she lets her Mom wash her hair, it's a light hearted, funny story that makes DD laugh. Maybe something like this would work in your situation?


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## frogger (Apr 13, 2005)

Jennifer thanks for the idea. I'll try that tonight.

I tried the bubble bath routine and he didn't go for it last night.


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## Scout (Jan 23, 2002)

Maybe you could try getting him into the tub without using any soap, to get him comfortable again with just even getting in there. Maybe after a couple of pure water baths, you could try using a little soap. A soap bar, maybe. I really like the idea of stroytelling, too.

Good luck. I know how hard it is to persuade a 4 yr old to do something he doesn't want to do!


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## bobica (May 31, 2004)

i like scout's idea. i think it might go even easier with the shower- the water would be hitting his head getting it at least rinsed well. soap can come later. you can gradually warm up to it after showers become less traumatic. wash his body with soap on a washcloth, then give his head 1 swipe with it (this is later on & with his consent, of course







)

there are natural *dry* shampoos out there. here is an article with some neat info.

good luck mama!


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## 4evermom (Feb 3, 2005)

I would go with just letting him play in the water. He'll get mostly clean and start to associate baths with fun. It sure beats making it a power struggle with everyone miserable. Children don't make body oil the way adults do so they don't need there hair washed often (I wash ds's about once a month). I just like to get a little soap on his bottom. If I really am hoping to do something that he doesn't usually like (such as hair washing) I give him a bath in the middle of the day when he isn't tired but back off he is adament about not doing it.


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## katiecat (May 4, 2004)

My now 3 year old went through a phase of hating baths from about age 2-3. In the winter I dropped down to giving him a bath once a week only and in the summer I only bathed him when he really needed it (which was more often than once a week). I've never used soap on him (not because he doesn't like). Water does a good job by itself and soap isn't necessary unless really really dirty.

His issue seemed to be mostly about hair washing so I just stopped doing it for a while. This was during the winter so he wasn't getting really dirty. He's ok now but it actually took quite a long time for him to look forward to baths again. I just dropped the expectations and kept everything very, very low key for a while.

I also tried new toys, even some body paint stuff, etc. to no avail.









Allison
ds 5/8/02


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## MOM2ANSLEY (May 19, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *frogger*
He's okay with the water part, it's the soaping up. We've tried all different kinds and he says they all burn his eyes so he wants nothing to do with soap from his neck up.

hmmmm maybe if I dilute the soap/shampoo. I think I'll try that tonight.

Shower hog....he use to be.








It's just a battle that I would rather not have.









I still use baby wash for dd 3 1/2.... I buy the generic and use it for bubble bath, body wash and shampoo..... Its tear free, cheap, smells good







and does the job, and doesn't dry her skin....
Since your ds may not want "baby" soap...you could dye it with some food dye(it may stain grout) and put in a fun bottle... dish detergent bottle, or one from a dollar store








.....oh, I rarely soap dd's face anyway....warm water cleans it well.


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## frogger (Apr 13, 2005)

Thanks for everyone's input. We had no power the night before last so I wasn't able to check up.

Anyways, I asked him last night if he wanted to take a bath with just water and he was very vocal about not doing it even after I explained that I wouldn't use soap and that he could have a bath fizzie. Nope nada zip zilch zero not doing it.

It's been raining here with some snow







so he hasn't been able to go dig outside so he's not too bad.

I'll try again in a couple of days.

Thanks again!


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## amis2girls (Mar 2, 2005)

My 4yo has a sudden fear of the toilet and the bathtub (drains?) I was ready to take her to the ER yesterday, convinced she was in pain b/c she was screaming so bad. DH comes come and she tells him she's afraid of the giant flush.









Watching this thread







:


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## Evan&Anna's_Mom (Jun 12, 2003)

Perhaps take this in little tiny baby steps until he is comfortable again? This may take a couple of weeks, but if you go slowly it may work.

Will he sit in a dry tub and play with some special toys? Do that for a couple of days. Then add a small amount of warm water. Then a "real" bath's worth of water. Stay there until bath is fun again. Soap really isn't all that necessary except for a couple of key spots and maybe you can do those with a baby wipe (or the "big kid wipes" they sell). Then add child soap applied with hands -- either his or yours as he prefers. Then start to work on the hair washing again.


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## Twocoolboys (Mar 10, 2006)

My six year old has never been a fan of bathing or showers - lol. Water running on his face was a huge issue until he learned how to swim last summer. But, he is still not nuts about it.

What we have done - he showers once a week. We all have dry skin in our family anyway, so this helps with that. In the warmer weather if he gets really dirty playing outside, he needs it more often, but in the winter, once a week is plenty.

We keep his hair cut really short - he gets a #2 with the clippers at the barber. It is much, much easier to wash, just needs a pin dot of shampoo and is much easier to rinse. He likes it short anyway as most of his little buddies have short hair.

We have used bubble bath, toys, etc.

We also wash his face outside of the tub, every night. He sits on the bathroom counter and I gently soap his face and gently wipe it off with a warm washcloth. It's part of our bedtime ritual and really helps him to relax.

Hope it gets easier for you and him!


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Perhaps this won't be a popular answer, but does he really need a bath? I'd just stop arguing about it with him until it becomes an issue, and then I'd talk to him. "You smell really bad, and that means that people don't want to spend time with you. The fastest way I can think of for you to get clean would be to take a bath. Do you have any other ideas?" Have you asked him why he doesn't want to take a bath? I can totally relate about the soap hurting his eyes-- I always insisted that tear-free soaps hurt my eyes, and honestly they still do!

I'm just thinking that the more you argue with him, the more this becomes a power struggle that none of you really need... so just let it slide. Is it really, truly important that he takes a bath, or can you hand him a wet washcloth and let him rinse himself off with baking soda?


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## bookwitch (Jun 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *frogger*
He's okay with the water part, it's the soaping up. We've tried all different kinds and he says they all burn his eyes so he wants nothing to do with soap from his neck up.

hmmmm maybe if I dilute the soap/shampoo. I think I'll try that tonight.

Shower hog....he use to be.








It's just a battle that I would rather not have.









Have you tried swim goggles?
I'm thinking of trying that with my 3 1/2 yr old, as soon as I can get time to get to Wallyworld or something like. Anyway, someone told me that swim goggles help.


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## frogger (Apr 13, 2005)

Dohhh (insert Homer Simpson smillie)Swim goggles! We had a pair but I think he took them apart. Maybe next time we are at the store I'll see if he wants a pair for the bath.

Thanks everyone. I've actually given up. I've been asking him once a day and let it go when he says no.


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## frogger (Apr 13, 2005)

So we went and got goggles and nose plug and ear plugs for the bath. He was all gun ho. Then when time came. He made sure though that we were not going to use soap. I told him no thinking that he'd put the goggles on and "swim" around. nope. The googles held water for him to play with.
He did get his head a little wet.









Ack! At least he got in the water.


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