# Sudden sock and underwear issues with my almost 5 yr old driving me batty! Help!



## Carolyn R (Mar 31, 2008)

Our dd, who will turn five in a few weeks, is suddenly having major sensory issues with her clothing. It started with her socks. They were the same ones she's been wearing forever, and all of a sudden, she says they're lumpy. And cries. And thrashes. Won't put them on. We've tried several different kinds, and same deal.

Then one day, she added underwear to the list. Despite obviously fitting her fine, she screams that they are sticking to her (I think she means in the back because she yanks on them) She's become obsessive about wiping after pottying, saying she still feels "wet". Even with me helping her wipe, asking her "Are you dry now?" "Yes" she replies, and then freaks out once we pull her underwear up. "They're still wet!!!!!!!!!!" It took about four underwear changes this morning.

There's been other issues also. The way the inside of her boots feel. The way her jammies slide up when she's in bed.

What concerns me is that it all seems very sudden. Like two weeks ago this was non-existent and now suddenly getting dressed in the morning has turned into a huge crazy battle that leaves her frustrated and crying and me feeling about the same way! It seems to be worse in the morning and at bedtime, but even her teacher at school has commented on the sock thing being a sudden issue. She used to be able to get dressed by herself in the morning if I laid her clothes out, but now I will check on her only to find her sitting on the floor in her closet crying because something isn't right with her socks or underwear.

At first I tried to downplay it and just give her the power to choose, for example "Honey, that's fine if your socks are bothering you. Just grab a different style out of your drawer." or "Here's a soft cloth. Just wipe your butt again and throw a new pair of undies on." But it's so beyond a simple solution. She seems crippled by her anxiety and can't choose. It almost reminds me of an OCD tendency where she can't get it "just right."

Any advice? Is this a common phase? Normal for it to come on so quickly? Do I call her ped? Wait it out?


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Carolyn R*
> 
> Any advice? Is this a common phase? Normal for it to come on so quickly? Do I call her ped? Wait it out?


We all have sensory issues. I have lots of them. I can't stand to hear someone chew gum... I mean, where were these people's parents... why didn't their parents teach them to chew gum with their mouth closed? I also hate lace. I hate how it feels, I would never sit on a couch pillow with lace. I touch all potential new clothes. I have even vetoed shirts for my husband because they weren't soft enough.

Socks are a HUGE hot button issue for kids. My daughter would have meltdowns right before school because her socks weren't right. When she found a brand of socks she liked, I bought them all. She hated fruit of the loom underwear because they were "too tight". She had maaaaaybe two pairs of jeans she liked because "they choked her knees". The man at the children's shoe store dreaded shoe day for her, because she was so hard to please. "I can feel the bottom!!!" Sandals were her best friend.

She was a dancer, so the tights and costumes during the recitals and pictures were NOT fun. She had to suck it up for those two occasions, but she made the first 30 minutes miserable for me.

We are all quirky to some point. But, five year olds are just more annoying about it. It doesn't actually get a whole lot better, you guys just learn what she likes, and doesn't like, and you stop buying the offending socks and panties.


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

yes i think its not unusual. not very common as it goes the other way.

5 is the age they kinda lose their sensitivity. so i cant see why it cant start.

phase? i am not sure. maybe not.

dd has socks issues. its the seam. it makes it lumpy in the shoes. so seamless socks?

how about a size larger for underwear? and check the material. i know some underwears feel cold to the touch than others. dd when younger prefered boys underwear as they fit better than the girls.

when you have a 'crippled by an anxiety' situation i would brainstorm trying to fix the clothes and stuff causing the problem.

the reason why its so crippling is because it actually causes pain and physical discomfort. i wonder if that's the reason why some manufacturers have done away with sewing lables on the clothes around the neck and just printing the info directly on the shirt.

since her issues are related to just socks and underwear i'd try different makes to see if they would help for her.


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

You might try going up a size in undies, just in case.

Another thought is whether she has any environmental allergies. My son's sensory stuff really acts up in the spring/summer when I think his allergies bother him. It's almost like he's OK for the sensory stuff until the allergies hit, and then that tips him over the edge. I'm going to get his allergies treated this year (up to now, I've not worried, because I didn't notice it that much. It's only recently that I've put the allergies+sensory stuff together.)

Look too at sleep and any foods she's been eating.

There's a good book called "Freeing your child from anxiety" by Tamar Chansky. (She's got a couple of other ones -- freeing your child from OCD, etc.). I'm not saying that your daughter has full-blown anxiety/OCD, but the book(s) might give you some good strategies for dealing with her flipping out over these things.


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## fritz (Nov 9, 2005)

Have you tried turning the socks inside-out? That way the seam's not rubbing against her feet.... How about the undies inside-out (although it probably won't help w/ any wet feeling)? That's how I wear mine, but it's b/c the seams/thread/elastic actually make my skin itch...and that's something I noticed over the past year--never had that problem before.

Yes, it is possible to develop new "issues" rather spontaneously, but definitely see if you can figure out if there's been a recent change in her diet, or if it's linked to allergies, as a PP suggested. Over the past week my spring allergies have already started up (although mine don't affect anything other than my eyes and nose).

If her issues with the clothing persist, look into contacting an occupational therapist who specializes in sensory integration. There are certain things you can do to try to help her system process input more normally. Calling your pediatrician can't hurt, and if your insurance requires a referral to see an OT, then it's a necessary step.


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## Tjej (Jan 22, 2009)

Try getting bigger socks and underwear and see if that fixes the problem.

Is there any other stressor that is new in her life? Sometimes one thing will just make a person more anxious/stressed, so it spills over into other totally unrelated things (like clothes).

HTH

Tjej


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## Carolyn R (Mar 31, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Tjej*
> 
> Is there any other stressor that is new in her life? Sometimes one thing will just make a person more anxious/stressed, so it spills over into other totally unrelated things (like clothes).
> 
> ...


Thanks everyone who has replied...I've been checking back here all day to read the responses. Tjej's post made me realize that although I didn't immediately make a connection, we did move into a different house about two months ago. Dd seemed to transition fine, and we only moved across town, so her school and everything else has stayed the same. Dd has been really excited (we now live in the same neighborhood as her cousin and grandparents), but also much clingier, not wanting me to leave the room at night until she goes to sleep, etc. I wonder if she could be having some sort of 'delayed reaction' to the move, and anxiety to settling into a new routine and environment.

Again, thanks to all and I look forward to continued responses and ideas.


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## kerry17 (Nov 14, 2011)

Hi all I'm so glad its not just me. My 4 year old just started this sock and underwear thing . Also the same thing about being wet and she isn't.Not sure what to do .I know that She started preschool and does not like going and this is when it started . I thought she was just procrastinating throwing a fit every morning about the socks and underwear so she wouldn't have to go to school .I have not been making her wear socks but winter is here and it getting cold . The underwear is my main concern because she is constantly annoyed by them and picking at herself. Does anyone know if the seamless socks and underwear work .


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## JudiAU (Jun 29, 2008)

You might check out the underwear from Hanna Anderson. Very comfortable. I wish they made them for adults. =)


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## AAK (Aug 12, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *JudiAU*
> 
> You might check out the underwear from Hanna Anderson. Very comfortable. I wish they made them for adults. =)


I second Hanna Anderson undies. It is all we buy anymore. They are a bit pricey, but their sizes are awesome. My kids will actually get many years out of the mediums. (my 5 yr old just moved up to mediums and my 9 year old is still wearing mediums--actually so is my 11 year old, but she never has had a bottom)

About socks, ugh we have had that battle. I finally found socks that everyone liked and (bought a ton) now they don't have them anymore. The last year was terrible. We can't have socks that have prints because of the strings inside the socks. Athletic socks are often too thick and will bunch at the toes. Seams can be bad too. However, I wouldn't worry too much about the socks. Let her go without. Eventually, the discomfort of cold toes will outweigh the discomfort with the socks.

Amy


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## Imakcerka (Jul 26, 2011)

We had the sock issue. LUMPS! that's a huge problem. Underwear generally aren't a problem but they like the boy shorts the other ones do bother them. My sister used to make my mom buy her underwear that covered her belly it's was pretty cute. They were practically under her armpits!


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## pianojazzgirl (Apr 6, 2006)

Oooo yes! "My socks are... TWISTY WISTY!!!!!" A constant refrain from dd at that age.

She too went through a phase of undies not being comfy, and that "still feeling wet" thing (actually she still does sometimes go back for more wiping after leaving the bathroom).

All in all this phase is long past. I really do think there was an age when all these sensory annoyances really peaked for her.


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## pporow (Feb 19, 2012)

I am having the same trouble with my almost 6 year old. Out of the blue she can't wear any socks or underwear at all. She has always been particular about the seams but we could always find a brand or pair that worked. Now she has them on for 2 seconds and begins screaming they don't feel good. It's awful, all day long. Just wondering if your daughter grew out of it? Or you found underwear that she liked? Thanks.

Heather


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## umgeek (Nov 10, 2011)

I too have sensory issues...so do my children. If my socks aren't perfect (to me) it feels like being stabbed with a nail. It's awful. My own experience allowed me to be more charitable when my children expressed similar issues. Socks, tags in clothing, shoes, food textures, and so on. I found a book a few years back called, Too Loud, Too Bright, Too Fast, Too Tight; it's filled with information about what is termed 'Sensory Integration Disorder' and how to find ways to make life manageable despite having sensory issues. HTH. =)


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## MonicaSa (Sep 23, 2013)

Oh I am so glad it is not just me. My dd is 3.5 and suddenly, about 3 weeks ago, she started having problems with underwear. It started with her feeling "wet down there" and she would wipe and wipe really aggressively. Sometimes going through half a roll at a time. I took her to the GP and he said he couldn't see any infection but suggested trying boxer shorts and using talcum powder as that would absorb moisture and make her more comfortable.

I have not negotiated with her and the rule is that she needs to wear her boxer short undies when we go out or if people come over, but when its just the family, she can keep them off. And she doesn't need to wear them at night. However, it is still a major battle. Usually ending with her crying and saying "she wont invite me to her party". The wiping is getting a bit better but she still complains of feeling wet despite there being no way she could be.

I'm worried that it has literally come from no where. And now she is starting to say she won't wear certain cropped trousers, etc. I dread every morning as we always start the day in tears. And changing takes forever. She used to love getting dressed in pretty clothes and now I struggle with her. I am hoping and praying it is just a phase...


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## mamalisa (Sep 24, 2002)

Could the underwear feel cold and not wet when she pulls them back up?

I'm sorry, I can't imagine. It has to be so frustrating.


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## Caneel (Jun 13, 2007)

My son is almost 8yo and we still have issues but it is getting better.

Nearly all socks have "bumps" in them. He solved his own problem by wearing his socks inside out.

He can't wear brief style underwear, he says the band around his legs is too tight. I have had good luck with Gap brand box-brief style

He went through a period of at least a year when he would not wear jeans, he would scream and freak out if I put jeans on him. This was from about 3.5 to 4yo and it nearly drove me to tears as he was burning through two or three pairs of chinos a week, I was patching them until the fabric simply disappeared.


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## JamieCatheryn (Dec 31, 2005)

Family cloth might help to clean and dry more thoroughly, if you might consider that transition. I needed inside out socks and certain brand undies as a kid too.


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## SJ Scottie (Sep 11, 2014)

Hi Carolyn R, I have just read your post. I was wondering how things were going now - 3 years later? My 6 year old daughter is currently experiencing exactly the same difficulties (your post could easily have been describing my daughter) and has been for about a year and I am beginning to wonder whether it is more than her 'just being 6', and whether it could be an anxiety disorder of some description as it is always when we are going to school/going somewhere new/doing something out of the norm. How is your daughter coping today? Did you ever speak to any professional about her issues? Many thanks, Sarah


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## alj315 (Sep 25, 2014)

Sensory processing disorder.. SPD.. there are whole forums dedicated to this alone.  I think all kids are to some degree but when under stress they become even more fussy. A lot of the treatment revolves around giving a sensory "diet" - ie appropriate sensory play, and/or just dealing with it - a lot turn socks inside out, but I know there is one brand in particular that tailors to spd kids that is totally seamless - sorry, can't remember the name. Some use noise cancelling headphones when noises are a problem, etc. Gotta get a little creative. 

My normal one is even very particular - try getting her into tights and an itchy dance costume with sequins touching her everywhere! Her skin turned red even so it couldn't have just been her imagination!!


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## needmommyhelp (Oct 20, 2015)

*4 yr old undie problems*

Hello everyone!! I'm a couple years late to this post. My daughter is 4.5 years old...having this underware issue!! I'm frantically searching the internet for ways to stop it! She CONSTANTLY pulls at her underware. Says she doesn't like them to touch her bottom!!! Sometimes has sock issues, but not near as bad as the underware issue. She says nothing itches or burns or hurts. She is very red down there so I rushed her to the doctor. They put her on yeast cream (that she screams about) and I've been keeping an eye on the area. She's not red after bath, or in morning when she wakes up. I honestly think she's making herself raw from the constant tugging and pulling at undies!!! Every morning is awful!! She now refuses to wear her school shorts (uniform) because she doesn't want them touching her. I've bought bigger undies, smaller ones, etc. She HATES them all! Please tell me this goes away! I cry and lose my mind every morning...and so does she and I just hate it! HELPPPP!!!!!


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## SecondtimeMama (Jun 15, 2015)

For socks, I was able to put them on inside out. Maybe seam-free undies, make sure they're cotton, switch to dye-free detergent and such? Or boxers?


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## Mommy2mandl (Feb 18, 2016)

My 4 year old daughter is a lot like most of the children mentioned in this thread and I was just wondering if any of you were able to figure anything out in regards to the underwear issue. Socks aren't so bad, but we definitely struggle with that too. I'm just more concerned about the undies. She's been CONSTANTLY tugging and pulling at her undies for at least 2-3 months now and when I ask her what the problem with her underwear is she just says they are bothering her. They don't hurt her and she doesn't feel like she is wet. She just can't stand them touching her. I tried to tell her that they are supposed to touch her, but she just tells me no. I mentioned it to her doctor he told me that her private area was probably bothering her at some point and that she created the habit of pulling at her underwear. He told me that I shouldn't say anything to her about it and the problem should just go away. Well, 2 months later it has gotten worse! She's now to the point where she hates wearing pants. She never liked jeans, but she would wear leggings all day long. Now she can't even stand those. She's in tears whenever we have to get dressed. I tried taking her to the store to try on all sorts of different pants to see which ones felt good on her and she hated it! She was in tears and I was in tears in the dressing room. We only made it through 2 pairs of pants because I felt like I was torturing her and we both just had had enough. Her teachers have even talked to me about the constant tugging and pulling and recommended another doctor within our group of doctors I should take her to. That's our next step. I just want to help her. Any of you that have posted about going through the underwear issue come to any conclusions? Did it just stop one day? Did you go to the doctor? ANY advice is welcome!


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## SecondtimeMama (Jun 15, 2015)

Sounds like yeast, potentially, but I expect the doctor checked for that.


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