# Pool safety with toddler



## jemar (Nov 9, 2005)

We are considering renting a house with a pool this summer. The backyard is all pool, so DD would not be able to play back there and we would obviously have to keep the back door to the house locked. But it would be fun to get her used to water. Any suggestions/concerns? What kind of gear would I need or do I just hold her in the shallow end? She has not taken swimming lessons.


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## twogreencars (Oct 24, 2006)

We have a huge pool in our backyard - but it has a fence all around it which can lock if need be and has self-closing gates. I would _never_ rent a house with a pool without such a fence. When someone opens the gate and DD is in the yard, we always have someone JUST on DD duty watching her to make sure she does not slip past and go into the pool area.

We have a floating seat with a sunshde which DD likes to sit in. We also have a water sling which we've never used.

HTH


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## jemar (Nov 9, 2005)

Would you not rent this house even if there will be 3+ adults and we lock the backdoor? I'm just wondering how paranoid to be. I am already a bit over-protective....


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## Hayes (Nov 20, 2001)

I wouldn't do it, ever.

REcently, a horrible thing happened here. Family with 5 children, youngest was 2, oldest is 16. Dad was out of town. Mom locked and checked all the doors. She set up a movie for the children. She told her children she was going to shower. Made sure children were safe.

The 2yo unlocked the back door. He went out, grabbed for a pool toy, and fell into their pool. It was January and very cold. He died.

I would NEVER live in a home with a pool without it being completely fenced, locked, and alarmed.

I am NOT an overprotective paretn. Right now, MY 5 kids are playng outside on teh swingset and climbing trees in the backyard. Pools scare the crap out of me, and I know how to swim well!


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## jemar (Nov 9, 2005)

I am seriously thinking about not renting this place. The thing is, DH grew up with a pool that wasn't fenced in. Also, my parents, who will be staying with us, have suggested buying extra locks for the back door. And we are all only looking after one kid. Does anyone out there think this is not a major deal considering it is one kid, three adults?


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## pigpokey (Feb 23, 2006)

If you lock the gate and lock the back door with a high padlock and keep them locked and she can't get the windows open then she can't wander back there by herself.


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## boatbaby (Aug 30, 2004)

*Sigh*

It's not a pit of baby-eating dragons. It's a pool. Of water.

When people post their horror-story du jour on these topics it's critical to take them with a dose of sanity.

Afterall, I read about a boy who climbed out of a second story window of a house and fell to his death. I read right here on MDC about a little girl who was crushed by some a dresser drawers tipping on her. With no disrespect to these tragedies --- what if I were to read about those and swear off of going into houses or letting my DS be in a room with furniture that's not bolted down (afterall everything on our boat is, nothing can tip on him in here!)

I think weighing the pros and cons and CALMLY assessing the scenario of who's involved, who will be watching over your dd, etc and then going with your heart will lead you where you need to go. But please mama, don't get caught up in the "all pools are dangerous" scare parade.


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## jemar (Nov 9, 2005)

Thanks boatbaby. That's kinda what my mom just said on the phone. I was initially more worried about everyone securing the gates on the stairs of this rental house than anything else (we live in an apartment and DD is not that great on stairs yet). Sigh.


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## hugosmoma (Nov 19, 2001)

i would never. nope. i just do not feel it is safe. not worth the stress. yes, there are dangers all around us. toddlers' primary cause of death is accidents. alarmist maybe, but why add to the risks?


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## KBinSATX (Jan 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jemar* 
The thing is, DH grew up with a pool that wasn't fenced in.

I am so old when I was little they didn't have to have car seats! I got to ride on my mom's lap.
That doesn't mean I won't buckle my kids in now though...









No pool in the backyard for me. I get tired from time to time and let DS play without watching him every second of the day while I read something, eat something, pee, etc.. Maybe if I was a more energetic and attentive parent, but not the worn out me.

Visiting a pool is a different scenario. I can pull it together for that and watch him like a hawk while we are there. But living like that day in and day out would be too much for me.

So if there is no place to play outdoors in the backyard, will your child have a place to play outdoors in the front?


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## eepster (Sep 20, 2006)

I think the most important questions to consider only you can answer.

1. *Are the 3 adults you speak of reliable?* If we were talking about my DH and parents I would say no. DH sometimes forgets to lock the gate on the stairs, my dad often thinks he has locked things but they are still ajar.

2. *Is the lock on the door toddler proof, or can you install a better one?* Since it's a rental there maybe limits to what you can do to secure the door. Out of reach can be gotten around if there are items (like dining chairs) that can be used to climb.

BTW we took a vacation recently and stayed at hotels with pools. DS (2 yo) loved sitting on my belly (like riding a horse) and holding my shoulder straps while I did the backstroke







.


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## jemar (Nov 9, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KBinSATX* 
So if there is no place to play outdoors in the backyard, will your child have a place to play outdoors in the front?

Yes, there is a front yard and a large park half a block away. I'm still not sure what to do.


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## Keeping up (Apr 7, 2004)

It would good to see someone who owns a pool (boatbaby that is cool you live on a boat) - any Florida types out there?

We rented a house for a week in Florida a few years ago - with a almost 3 year old and a 1 year old. I was very nervous going in as the pool was the backyard. However, the rental had an elaborate lock system (with very high up locks so no young child could undo them well without climbing up 6-7 feet) as well as a door alarm. As soon as that door opened, an alarm went off that sounded like a clock alarm. However, no where for the kiddos to play unattended - that would bother me long term (ie. more than a week rental).

I am a paranoid water mom so not sure I would do it unless the pool was completely fenced, with one very very high fence and it could be easily locked. My 2 year old could almost scale anything.

... one idea though - if in the backyard, always wear a life jacket. How do cottage people handle the water?

I think after car accidents, drowning is the most likely cause of death in young children. Do side with boatbaby - she is living the experience and so has a much more realistic perspective then me.


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## jemar (Nov 9, 2005)

I wonder what people do who live at the beach. But, DH thinks I'm too stressed about it to rent the house at this point. I didn't even think about the lack of security fence until I read info online.
I don't think it's about wearing a lifejacket while in the backyard. It's whether she'll get into the backyard when noone is looking. I don't think there is an alarm system on the door. We would definitely install more locks if the ones in place were not adequate. Also, maybe no backyard is a bummer with a toddler. I live in an apartment now so the idea of the park half a block away seemed like heaven.


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## pcasylum (May 29, 2006)

I guess you can call me paranoid then, but I wear that label proudly. I won't add the stories I've heard since as someone said "we could all tell stories about something," but to me it's just adding a danger that doesn't have to be added. My dh wanted a pool and I said *absolutely not.* When the kids are older, sure, maybe. But with a 2 yr old and a baby on the way. No.way.in.heck. It only takes a few seconds - kids have remarkable ways of getting out. I have triple locks on every outside door and every piece of furniture is bolted to the walls - I take every precaution that I can, so why take a huge drowning risk and plop it in my backyard? No thanks. I would never sleep, lol!


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## Ophelia (Feb 16, 2005)

Would you think about doing this infant/child safety lessons like this?

http://video.msn.com/?mkt=en-us&vid=...=m17&GT1=42003

There was a thread on this a while back and most posters had negative comments about it, but the video for that one was just showing an baby floating, floating, floating (I think, didn't watch the whole thing). This video shows the teachers and babies/kids flipping over.

It would be worth checking into, and finding out HOW they teach the kids (if it is in a gentle way).


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## Debstmomy (Jun 1, 2004)

We visit a house, daily, that does not have a fenced in pool. (It is my Mothers home) While it is a worry, I can not stop going to visit my Mom. We just make sure we are EXTRA diligent when we are there. I am also considering purchasing those door alarms that sound when a door is opened. I may also get one where dd wheres a wrist or ankle band & it will sound when she gets wet (again, not sure about this one...doggie water could set it off!)
Anyway.....my older 2 kids visited this house as little ones & we never had any issues. We were just mindful of the pools presence & our childrens location when we were there.
They key to end drowning is prevention & barriers. Good Luck.


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## timneh_mom (Jun 13, 2005)

I'm just curious, isn't there something in the building codes for a rental that states the pool MUST be fenced off, locked and alarmed? My IL's have a vacation home in FL with an inground pool and the doors have locks, it's fenced and there is an alarm.


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## Ophelia (Feb 16, 2005)

Also wanted to add, I have seen there are alarms you can buy. You put them on the water and they go off if anything disturbs the water. Would help peace of mind as a backup.


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## jemar (Nov 9, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *timneh_mom* 
I'm just curious, isn't there something in the building codes for a rental that states the pool MUST be fenced off, locked and alarmed? My IL's have a vacation home in FL with an inground pool and the doors have locks, it's fenced and there is an alarm.

This is a sublet in NJ so I'm not sure of the laws...


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## bottomsup (Jul 6, 2007)

I think with three adults, one child, pool safety can be managed. I have a pool, which you access directly from the living room. We have a pool safety net, but I pretend it is not there and am super diligent. We keep the doors locked, if we do not see him fright away, we look out at the pool, and we just do not let him play out back.

Another thing we did was just add a cowbell to the top of the door, so every time it opens and closes, we know someone is coming in and out. That would be a nice, cheap safety solution for a vacation rental.

Honestly, the pool is like any other thing that require parental supervision and common sense. Treat it with respect and due diligence, and you will be fine.


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## basmom (Jun 4, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bottomsup* 
I think with three adults, one child, pool safety can be managed. I have a pool, which you access directly from the living room. We have a pool safety net, but I pretend it is not there and am super diligent. We keep the doors locked, if we do not see him fright away, we look out at the pool, and we just do not let him play out back.

Another thing we did was just add a cowbell to the top of the door, so every time it opens and closes, we know someone is coming in and out. That would be a nice, cheap safety solution for a vacation rental.

Honestly, the pool is like any other thing that require parental supervision and common sense. Treat it with respect and due diligence, and you will be fine.

I agree. I like the idea of the "low-tech" bell that would ring when the door is opened. As far as swimming with your little one, are there any facilities in your area that offer parent/child swimming classes? Maybe you could try a session before the summer and begin to learn/teach basic water safety. We have taken DS to these classes since he was 6 months old. Our instructor talks about pool safety (1. teach your child to never enter the water unless invited in by an adult swim partner -"____ come in the water" 2. IF your child falls in, teach them to "turn and grab the wall"-that's the phrase/skill we practice over and over in class), sings songs and works on basic swimming skills. It's very fun and a great family activity.

So, my advice is, check into swim lessons, buy some cow-bells, and come up with a plan for pool coverage with all of the adults who will be there, and have fun!


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## zoshamosha (Apr 15, 2006)

I live in a house that does not have a locked pool. While I know there are horrible accidents, strangely, I do not worry about it. DD is 2.5 and has been swimming in that pool since her birth.

I keep the backdoor to the yard locked unless we're out there with her. We have another outdoor area where DD is free to roam. DD is also very aware of the water and of the pool rules. She knows she's not allowed outside by herself and she has never broken that rule (although I know I can't depend on that). We've also made sure to teach her what to do IF she falls into the pool and no one is around. We've actually run drills. She swims to the side of the (very small) pool and yells for help. At this point, I'm very confident that she knows what to do around water.

Now that we have a newborn, I'll be installing one of those alarms or a fence because two is a different story.


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## mamatoablessing (Oct 17, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ophelia* 
Would you think about doing this infant/child safety lessons like this?

http://video.msn.com/?mkt=en-us&vid=...=m17&GT1=42003

There was a thread on this a while back and most posters had negative comments about it, but the video for that one was just showing an baby floating, floating, floating (I think, didn't watch the whole thing). This video shows the teachers and babies/kids flipping over.

It would be worth checking into, and finding out HOW they teach the kids (if it is in a gentle way).


DD#2 is currently enrolled in ISR. The program is amazing but takes months to complete. It probably wouldn't work for the OP.

But, I have several friends who use the Safety Turtle. You put a bracelet on your kid (they can't take it off) and if they are submerged, an alarm (the receiver in your home) will sound. I think this is your best bet if the pool doesn't have a toddler gate/fence.


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## Valerieg (May 13, 2007)

I truly believe that if your DD has adult supervision, the door has a good lock AND an alarm (which is pretty cheap, or use the cowbell idea), and you're aware of the dangers it'll likely go just fine.

My DD is also 2 1/2 and swims like a fish. I'd still be super concerned about the pool just because it's a pool (and she can jump in and get herself out without assistance). But honestly, she could get out the same poorly secured door and go running down the street and get hit by a car if nobody was watching her.

Honestly, I'd secure the doors. There isn't any reason to avoid renting somewhere that'll otherwise be fun for your family. And a lifejacket will help tremendously when out by the pool!


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## MommytoTwo (Jun 20, 2004)

I live in FL and there are a lot of baby drowning deaths on the news. I would not rent it unless there was a baby safe fence. We are planning on buying a house with a pool but it wll have a fence. And my kids all took ISR lessons. That is where they go EVERY DAY and learn to float, not swimming lessons at the Y.
Go for it as long as its safe.

Quote:

It's not a pit of baby-eating dragons. It's a pool. Of water.

Drowning is a leading cause of death in young children. I dont see this attitude about safety seats in cars, why about pools?


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## ElliesMomma (Sep 21, 2006)

when in doubt, don't.


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## pigpokey (Feb 23, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Valerieg* 
And a lifejacket will help tremendously when out by the pool!

I liked the pool turtle thing.

Life jackets may be good for some things. I am not sure I would put a nonswimmer in a life jacket at the pool if they were very young because I have heard stories of toddlers jumping in because they either didn't realize they weren't wearing a life jacket or didn't realize that it was the life jacket making them float. And then if they can take them off then you've accomplished nothing because you have to watch them all the time anyway.

Those wrist alarms look good!

I for one liked the pit of baby eating dragons quote. But I liked it in a different context. As someone who's taught several children to swim, been a lifeguard, etc. it is true that a pool is a place to watch very carefully. It is not true that a toddler falling into a pool who received a timely assist from mom or a lifeguard "almost drowned" nor should people go around shrieking afterward. (It is not a pit of baby eating dragons.) Fairly regularly I hear stories of people who claim that accidental submersion with timely assistance = near death. It is water not fire.

Of course a nonswimming toddler who falls into the pool by herself with no one to assist is in mortal danger.


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## boatbaby (Aug 30, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommytoTwo* 

Drowning is a leading cause of death in young children. I dont see this attitude about safety seats in cars, why about pools?

Because the leading sentiment often seems to be avoid going near them altogether rather than use smarts and safety sense when you're around them. Using safety seats in a car is a must. Avoiding cars because they're scary and fast and dangerous?
Same with the pool. No need to run screaming in the other direction, just use your mama bear smarts.

ETA: drowning is a leading cause along with suffocation, poisoning, falling, and fire related accidents. Of course car accidents are usually listed as the #1 cause.


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## AppleCrisp (Aug 19, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *timneh_mom* 
I'm just curious, isn't there something in the building codes for a rental that states the pool MUST be fenced off, locked and alarmed? My IL's have a vacation home in FL with an inground pool and the doors have locks, it's fenced and there is an alarm.

Yep, around here, if the pool is deeper than so many inches it must have a fence at least 48" tall, with self-locking gates. I'd think pretty hard about renting a house with an unfenced pool and toddler.


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## GuildJenn (Jan 10, 2007)

I personally would not unless I were going to add a safety fence in with permission and at my own expense.

I'm a former lifeguard too and I love to swim.

But that to me is different than living with a pool on the premises. My son has defeated a number of locks and safety devices on his own.

For drowning, I disagree and agree about the "dragons" thing. Sure, kids can get dunked and get pulled out just fine. But that doesn't mean that every dunking is fine. Toddlers are especially at risk because they can respond to a sudden dunking (especially in colder water) with the gasp reflex, which fills the lungs faster.

Toddler drowning in Canada represents 1.85/100,000 toddler deaths. I'm not sure how many toddler accidents where there was no death but significant brain damage occured either. I am touchy about this because my own daughter asphyxiated during labour, then lived for four days. I would not want anyone to go through that.

So for me, not living in a house with a pool for a few years is not a hardship compared to the risk level involved in having a pool. Just my opinion.


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## eepster (Sep 20, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *boatbaby* 
Because the leading sentiment often seems to be avoid going near them altogether rather than use smarts and safety sense when you're around them. Using safety seats in a car is a must. Avoiding cars because they're scary and fast and dangerous?
Same with the pool. No need to run screaming in the other direction, just use your mama bear smarts.

ETA: drowning is a leading cause along with suffocation, poisoning, falling, and fire related accidents. Of course car accidents are usually listed as the #1 cause.

The pool to car analogy is a great one. Both can be very dangerous if not taken seriously and used appropriatly.

I would say that if the pool can be properly secured then renting the house is fine. However, if the pool can't be properly secured it becomes like a car with bad breaks. One wouldn't drive their child around with bad breaks, so one should avoid renting if the pool can't be properly secured.

If the adults are all responsible careful people who take pool safety seriously then the pool isn't a problem. However, if they don't think it's important or they just tend to be forgetful or easily distracted then it isn't a good idea. One would also never allow an irresponsible driver to drive their child around.

Also any water can be dangerous

Quote:

More than half of drownings among infants occur in bathtubs.
from http://www.childrensnyp.org/mschony/P03004.html
Should the OP also avoid renting a house if it comes with a bath tub? No, she should supervise her child in the bathroom.


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## GuildJenn (Jan 10, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eepster* 
Also any water can be dangerous
from http://www.childrensnyp.org/mschony/P03004.html
Should the OP also avoid renting a house if it comes with a bath tub? No, she should supervise her child in the bathroom.

But the bathtub is not full 24/7.


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## chumani (Apr 12, 2002)

We have had an inground pool for 3.5 years now. It does have a 5ft safety fence around it. We have loved it. Kids learn to "dog paddle" so quickly around 2-3 years. We keep a play yard for babies/young toddlers that keeps them content while we are swimming.

I think with 3 adults/1 toddler you are fine. I think the cowbell idea is great, you can also install a lock at the top of the door if your little one knows how to unlock the door. The swim bracelet is also a great idea. For our toddlers (up to about 3.5y) we use the swimwear with the floaties built in, we got ours at Targed for $15, it provides great sun coverage without being too bulky.

Is the yard fenced otherwise? i.e. if she is playing in front yard can she run around to the back?

Best wishes on your decision, I love being able to cool off in a pool with the kids and their friends.

Sarah


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## twogreencars (Oct 24, 2006)

We've had an inground pool in our backyard for the past 9 years. We've had babies and toddlers around it since birth. When we moved to our new house, the first thing we did was have a 5 foot fence put around it.

Our 2 older kids had baby swimming lessons. From 3 months old they could swim 10 feet on their own and get to the side and hold on - but they still could have easily drowned in a pool. We just did not want to risk it. One of my colleagues' kids drowned at 18months - he was being watched by his mother and father at the time and each thought the other was watching him. There is a term which I'm spacing on atm which basically means no-one specifically is responsible so everyone thinks someone else is responsible...

Having said that - a pool is a great thing and we're lucky to have one and wouldn't have it any other way! But - it is a tremendous responsibility - from the regular upkeep to the emergency upkeep (my 10yo DD went through a phase of having diahrea in the pool - every time she went it - and boy did it spread through the pool quickly (yes - she ALWAYS wore a swim diaper







) to the safety aspects...

Good luck on your decision


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## PassionateWriter (Feb 27, 2008)

we love our pool and our 2 yo loves it...but it is fenced.

if watching ONE child and there are 3 adults and someone is always "on duty" then i may consider it, but i think its really impt. to figure out who is "on duty" ahead of time and not fall into the trap mentioned below.

luckily, our pool is at the end of our back yard, so there is plenty of play space before it.


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## GranoLLLy-girl (Mar 1, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hayes* 
I wouldn't do it, ever.

REcently, a horrible thing happened here. Family with 5 children, youngest was 2, oldest is 16. Dad was out of town. Mom locked and checked all the doors. She set up a movie for the children. She told her children she was going to shower. Made sure children were safe.

The 2yo unlocked the back door. He went out, grabbed for a pool toy, and fell into their pool. It was January and very cold. He died.

I would NEVER live in a home with a pool without it being completely fenced, locked, and alarmed.

I am NOT an overprotective paretn. Right now, MY 5 kids are playng outside on teh swingset and climbing trees in the backyard. Pools scare the crap out of me, and I know how to swim well!

I'm sorry to hear that this happened--but I second the idea of never ever renting a house with a pool in which there is no gate...no alarm...no anything.
And yes, OP, there will be that ONE time where there is only one adult with the child--and what a burden that will be to watch the child every second for fear of drowning. Don't fool yourself that just because three people live there that those three people will be there all the time or that each will be as vigilant as you would want.
A child that we know spent time in the hospital when her father, who was RIGHT in front of her, was not paying close attention and she slipped under the water. She was three at the time. There was a pool party going on so there were at LEAST 20 people in the pool--but no one was paying specific attention to this child. She almost lost her life.
There have been threads on this board that discuss that most pool accidents happen when there is an adult present--the problem is that people aren't paying super close attention.
Heed the warnings here and play it safe.


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## jemar (Nov 9, 2005)

We are not renting the house. One of the reasons to get out of the city and our apartment is to RELAX and although the pool at first sounded great, it wouldn't be very relaxing for me! Thanks all!


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