# Missed Miscarriage - Waiting Question



## randomacts (Jun 26, 2008)

Hi! Please help me, I am about to go out of my mind. I went in at 11 weeks pregnant for an ultrasound because we heard no heart tones on a doppler. The sac measured 6weeks, 6days and had no fetal pole or heartbeat. This is a week later and I have no cramps, no spotting and a blazingly positive pregnancy test. Apparently my HCG hasn't gone down at all. I still have all the sxs of pregnancy, which is killing me.

So, my question, how long does this take!? AND is there any possibility that the pregnancy I thought I had somehow terminated without spotting and I have a new pregnancy that is healthy, but far behind what I thought?

I am so confused, and I feel alone.


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## PrayinFor12 (Aug 25, 2007)

Sounds like it's been about 4 weeks since the baby died? It could be a couple more before your body figures it out.

Do you know how your hcg levels compare to a healthy 11 week pregnancy? I do know it's normal for them to keep increasing after the baby's gone. If the sac is still growing, your body will still be in pregnant mode, and that happens pretty often I think.

The pregnancy tests will still be positive, and the pregnancy signs remain for a while after the baby (and other stuff) comes out. That's totally normal.

There might be *some* possibility of a second baby, but it seems like it's really unlikely. Don't let your emotions cling to the idea. BUT, don't actually get a D&C or anything until you personally feel confident about this.

Basically, don't worry that nothing has happened yet. But watch for infection (fever, feeling like you have the flu). And go ahead and prepare for a natural miscarriage to happen.

You have someone to keep an eye on you? A midwife or OB?

I'm so sorry you're going through this.


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## randomacts (Jun 26, 2008)

I have never had any blood drawn. My midwife told me to check back in a week if it hasn't happened yet, so she can give me some herbs or something. The perinatologist who did the scan - which took about 2 minutes btw - said nothing could be done until 2-3 weeks from now. No checking on me, no follow up ultrasound, and not even a transvaginal ultrasound.

I guess I just feel like no one cares, no one is making sure I am okay, and this anti-pregnancy is being so badly managed. I am so in the dark about so many things. I guess I could go back to my OB, try to get a dating ultrasound and see what she has to say, but it seems like I would just be repeating painful steps.









I wish to god there was some cramping or some spotting or ANYTHING to tell me it is almost over. Nope, just me and this dead baby...


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## PrayinFor12 (Aug 25, 2007)

If you're just relying on the hpt's to know if your hcg is going down, it actually could be falling.

For what it's worth, my OB offered to do another u/s for me JUST for the sake of my emotions. There really might be some value to going to one.

Can you call the OB, explain what's going on, and make an appointment? At the least, it won't do any harm.


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## Amy&4girls (Oct 30, 2006)

I am so sorry for your loss and for all you're going through.


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## ktcl (Jul 12, 2003)

This is the hardest thing I went through ever! I found out right before Thanksgiving that there was no heartbeat, and didn't actually miscarry until December 15th. And I never understood that that could be the case. I spent Thanksgiving weekend assuming I would start bleeding any minute.

I am so sorry you are experiencing this. Everyone has to choose for themselves how to actually handle it. Some people prefer to wait and let it happen naturally. Some people feel better having a D&C to get it over with and move on. I'm now going through this a second time, and am choosing a D&C this time.

Trust yourself in making the right choice for yourself.


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## NoelleInLove (Dec 15, 2008)

I am so sorry you are dealing with this









It could take awhile. One of my losses I found out at the 12 week scan baby stopped growing at 7 weeks, I chose to wait it out. It was 3 additional weeks after the appointment, so like 8 weeks after baby had actually died. I know a lot of people describe that time as a horrible wait but for me it was actually really a time of saying goodbye and just a way to hold onto baby for a little more. It was hard for sure, but I wasn't ready to let go. Honestly in the process I had to come to terms with what was going to happen and my body miscarried when I was 'ready'. That might sound terribly dorky or weird but I believe it to be true. I needed time to say goodbye, I just couldn't let go. I remember the night before I miscarried just knowing it was the last night I was going to have him/her with me.


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## toughcookie (Aug 25, 2008)

i found out my baby had died at my 10-week appointment, after a strong heartbeat at 8 weeks by US. the OB guessed the loss had happened right after the 8 week appointment, so, at the time i started "counting", i was already 2 weeks on in the miscarriage (and only very light spotting, NO cramping). the miscarriage completed itself naturally, but a long 7 weeks after that. so my miscarriage took 9 weeks.

emotionally, it was awful. physically, i could deal with it. i had a very strong feeling that i wanted no hands or tools to take the baby out of me - it and came on its own. but what you do and how long you can wait without going nuts is a very individual thing.

i'm so very sorry you're going through this.


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## randomacts (Jun 26, 2008)

I really appreciate everyone's support and help! Last night I got very very very drunk and cried to my mom and husband for about two hours.

Then, this morning I was very nauseous and crampy. This afternoon (while wedding dress shopping with my BFF) I started spotting. Nothing more than just pink spotting, but I think I finally let go last night and was okay with it happening today. So, Noelle, It doesn't sound weird, it sounds right.

It is tough, and I am still struggling with whether or not to TTC actively after I get my cycles back - which could be months as I am BFing, but it is a start to healing.


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## toughcookie (Aug 25, 2008)

ah, yes, red wine and very hot baths were what got me through some nights during my m/c. find out what you need to do for yourself to get through it, even if it's not necessarily something wholesome/that you'd be "proud of" -- you're going through something so unique and intense in its pain. a healing to the point of returned functionality, and even renewed hope IS possible even if it doesn't seem it right now. this is my hope for you, and all the women out there that are newly crushed by such heartache.

take care of your heart.


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## randomacts (Jun 26, 2008)

So, it has been over a week since I found out I am carrying around a dead baby. This makes it going on 7 weeks since the baby died. I have had nothing more than streaks and spots of brown and pink mucous when I wipe. Hardly even enough to be on a pad. I have cramps, but nothing productive. I need this to be over. I need to move on. I can't even get my midwife on the phone, no one will talk to me. I feel like a nobody, afterall, she has live babies to deal with, who has the time for me?

I finally decided that enough is enough. I called my regular OB's nurse, left another message and am going to talk to her about my options. Excitingly this means another horrible u/s where we will find a big fat nothing. YAY! I am so alone. I am so tired. I am so sick of waiting. I am really to the point of defeat, so much for my body knowing what to do. I can't believe I have to swallow my pride and see my OB. I just need SOMEONE.


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## moonInLion (Mar 1, 2009)

Oh mama







, so sorry you have to go through this.
I have just been there: Started spotting, really light at 13w0d. Spotting on and off all week, no cramps. At 14w1d baby was found dead (via u/s), apparently died at 8w5d. no spotting that day. Started bleeding a bit more at 14w2d. Decided to wait it out. Got acupuncture at 14w3d from my naturopath to help getting this going, got some homeopathic medication (cantharsis -- sp?) and put castor oil on a flannel on my tummy, hot water bottle on top of it at nights. Fine for the whole next day, just a bit of spotting. Then went into labour at 14w5d and gave birth 6 hours later.
So the timeline: absolutely no indication that anything may be wrong for more than 4 weeks, and it took 6 weeks after the assumed death of the baby for my body to shed it out.
Hang in there, mama, and do what you feel is right for you, waiting, or D&C, or something inbetween with homeopathy and such. I would not hope for a new pregnancy causing the smallnees of the baby, but your u/s will clarify.
As for TTCing, no need to decide now, your body will take a while anyways to get back on track, that will leave you some time to heal (so I hope for myself as well).


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## Fuamami (Mar 16, 2005)

I'm so sorry. Your mw sounds like a neglectful lame-o. I hope your OB is more respectful.


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## veganmama719 (Sep 15, 2007)

I am so very sorry. I had a missed m/c in August. The baby had stopped devleoping at 6w and I was 10 w along. I was positive of my dates.

So I elected to induce a m/c with Cytotec (I think that is what it is called). I wanted to TTC again as soon as possible since Iwas 41 at the time and felt like time was running out. I had had another, natural, mc of a blighted ovum 4 months previously.

It gave me some control too. I elected to take it first thing on a Saturday morning so I could have the whole weekend at home and not worry about the m/c starting unexpectedly. The worst 3 hours of my previous m/c occured while I was volunterring at DD's school!

Anyway. It was tough. I did get PG with this baby 9 weeks later though.

Many hugs to you.


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## bdoody11 (Aug 16, 2005)

, Mama. I've been in your position very recently. My baby was found at 10 weeks to have no heartbeat after having one at 8 weeks. The baby stopped growing at 8w4d. I elected to have a D&C. The procedure was done the following week at close to 11 weeks gestation. Between finding out and the surgery I had a bit of spotting and cramping on and off, but I'm not sure when things would have started naturally.

If it gives you any comfort, I found the D&C to be extremely easy physically. It was also right for me emotionally so that helped too. The doctor did one final ultrasound for me and my DH right before the surgery to give us the peace of mind. I think that really helped with closure.

Please look at all your options and choose what is best for you. I know this isn't easy.


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## longtallanimal (Apr 21, 2009)

Wow, I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who has posted here... I found out day before yesterday, at 12 wks, that our baby had stopped growing at 8. My midwives are very supportive, but I think I was in shock when we spoke to them, didn't ask enough questions, and now reading this thread makes my missed miscarriage experience feel a lot more "normal."

I am trying to go the natural route, but I just didn't understand how long it could possibly take. I am just going to try not to think about it for a few more days, then try the herbal route the mw mentioned.

Thanks, y'all.


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