# Friend's baby born sick



## emmy526 (Jul 23, 2007)

He was full term, after some complications during the pregnancy, steroid shots, early labor, etc, etc...finally born on due date, and now at two days old, is on a vent, multiple meds, including an antibiotic 'as a precaution in case of pneumonia'...mom not allowed to hold baby or talk to him..just light touches and whispers only...seems to me like the hospital is making this baby sicker n sicker...they put him on a vent due his O2 an C02#'s not being 'right'. 


> she said this: "X is a lot more comfortable today since they added a med to help him relax which has made things easier for all of us. His co2 has been improving on the vent and they are slowly turning his numbers down. He had an echocardiogram to rule out heart defects which went well. They started him on antibiotics as a caution since they are concerned about his slower than expected recovery and can't rule out pneumonia until Thursday when his blood culture comes back. We still can't hold him and are only really able to even touch him for brief moments to help him calm down, otherwise it's hands off and whispers only so that he can stay relaxed."


they took him off the vent yesterday, only to put him back on it within 8hrs too. Imo, if the baby got sick with pneumonia, he got it from the staff/hospital. There was no meconium, either.


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## emmy526 (Jul 23, 2007)

Wouldn't mom and skin to skin, hearing mom's voice help aid in 'relaxing' the baby? rather than man made chemical relaxants...smh...


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## 95191 (Nov 8, 2007)

Very awful! :crying:


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## MylittleTiger (Apr 19, 2010)

I hope whatever the issue that they are able to bring their baby home soon. It must be awful not being able to comfort their own child. Here's to a speedy recovery.


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## SilverMoon010 (Jul 15, 2009)

I'm so sorry for what your friend is going through. Reading what she wrote just made me want to cry. It must be so hard for her not to be able to hold her baby, knowing that that's exactly what that baby needs.:crying:


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## Turquesa (May 30, 2007)

Thoughts and prayers!


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## chknlovr (May 24, 2013)

emmy526 said:


> He was full term, after some complications during the pregnancy, steroid shots, early labor, etc, etc...finally born on due date, and now at two days old, is on a vent, multiple meds, including an antibiotic 'as a precaution in case of pneumonia'...mom not allowed to hold baby or talk to him..just light touches and whispers only...seems to me like the hospital is making this baby sicker n sicker...they put him on a vent due his O2 an C02#'s not being 'right'.
> 
> they took him off the vent yesterday, only to put him back on it within 8hrs too. Imo, if the baby got sick with pneumonia, he got it from the staff/hospital. There was no meconium, either.


This post is disgusting. Do you think they just put babies on vents for fun???? Do you think they're just out to torture this poor baby and mom?

You clearly know nothing about critically ill newborns. I really hope you are more supportive your friend in real life, and you're not passive-aggressively second guessing the neonatologists in her presence.


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## kathymuggle (Jul 25, 2012)

chknlovr said:


> This post is disgusting. Do you think they just put babies on vents for fun???? Do you think they're just out to torture this poor baby and mom?
> 
> You clearly know nothing about critically ill newborns. I really hope you are more supportive your friend in real life, and you're not passive-aggressively second guessing the neonatologists in her presence.


Are you glad this thread was moved from INV so you can spread some nastiness around? I think you are.

We know babies can be treated aggressively in hospitals (perhaps understandably - newborns are fragile and hospitals are cautious) but it does seem to me like they can go overboard sometimes and I can think of several real life examples. I have no idea if this is one of those times. Why can't Emmy vent here about her sadness and concern? _It beats venting to the mom._

(cknlovr - I think there is a list of people you should put on block - myself included and I am going to block you now. You simply cannot post from a kind place. I question whether being on MDC is good for your psyche)


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## Xerxella (Feb 6, 2008)

chknlovr said:


> This post is disgusting. Do you think they just put babies on vents for fun???? Do you think they're just out to torture this poor baby and mom?
> 
> You clearly know nothing about critically ill newborns. I really hope you are more supportive your friend in real life, and you're not passive-aggressively second guessing the neonatologists in her presence.


This is just cruel. She never said that. This was my son before he died and it was horrible. I NEVER thought they had him on a vent "for fun" but there were many days when I wanted to rip that thing off him and grab him and run out of there.

I questioned the neonatologists, nurses and everyone I saw, everyday. I question myself to this day. There's never anything wrong with asking questions, especially here away from the family.

You're the one who knows nothing about watching your critically ill newborn go through this.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## chknlovr (May 24, 2013)

Xerxella said:


> This is just cruel. She never said that. This was my son before he died and it was horrible. I NEVER thought they had him on a vent "for fun" but there were many days when I wanted to rip that thing off him and grab him and run out of there.
> 
> I questioned the neonatologists, nurses and everyone I saw, everyday. I question myself to this day. There's never anything wrong with asking questions, especially here away from the family.
> 
> ...


No, she just said that the hospital was making him sicker and sicker, and that if he got pneumonia he got it from the staff. Oh, she also had a nice use of scare quotes that his CO2 was just not "right". She's shaking her head over the use of chemical relaxants for a vented baby.

I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sorry for Emmy's friend. I am horrified at Emmy's comments.

And Kathy- my psyche is fine. It's interesting that if someone expresses shock and horror at the unfeeling comments of someone you consider them to be mentally unwell.


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## emmy526 (Jul 23, 2007)

kathymuggle said:


> Are you glad this thread was moved from INV so you can spread some nastiness around? I think you are.
> 
> We know babies can be treated aggressively in hospitals (perhaps understandably - newborns are fragile and hospitals are cautious) but it does seem to me like they can go overboard sometimes and I can think of several real life examples. I have no idea if this is one of those times. Why can't Emmy vent here about her sadness and concern? _It beats venting to the mom._
> 
> (cknlovr - I think there is a list of people you should put on block - myself included and I am going to block you now. You simply cannot post from a kind place. I question whether being on MDC is good for your psyche)


i've got her on block now..she seems mentally unstable and unwilling to have a rational discusssion...she's also free to skip the whole post i made as well. Jumping to conclusions, and making assumptions about things i didn't say. But, like you said, since the post was moved out of INV, it seemed an opportunity for her to troll on my post.


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## MeepyCat (Oct 11, 2006)

This kind of conversation was just the worst and hardest thing when my DD was in the NICU. Everyone had their own theory about what I should be doing, that would totally fix the problem. It felt more like they were saying I caused the problems, either by somehow being pregnant wrong, or by failing to rip my baby out of the isolette and rush her home. I just wanted someone to acknowledge that the baby was in dire straits, and we were doing the best we could.

It sounds like your friend's little guy is having a tough time. I hope he gets better soon - stable enough for tons of cuddling, and then so fine that they send him home.


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## emmy526 (Jul 23, 2007)

Some of the saddest things about this, is the drs were telling her over n over to take it easy, and everything 'would be fine' with the birth and baby...she did what they said, and gave birth to a sick baby -- how devastating that must have been for them!! Then to be told you can't touch or talk to your newborn - devastation all over again. And, the fact that this has now gone on for a couple days longer than originally anticipated when the birth first happened. We're all hoping for some good news and soon, too!


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## Ethelpea (Mar 3, 2010)

chknlovr said:


> No, she just said that the hospital was making him sicker and sicker, and that if he got pneumonia he got it from the staff. Oh, she also had a nice use of scare quotes that his CO2 was just not "right". She's shaking her head over the use of chemical relaxants for a vented baby.
> 
> .


Because we all know that nurses NEVER go to work sick with colds or the flu. And accidents like a nurse dropping a computer monitor on my micro-premie nephew's head NEVER happen. And we all don't know somebody who entered a hospital who didn't leave either dead or worse off than when they went in.

I am deeply sorry for your friend, Emma526 and I'm truly saddened for your loss, Xerxella. Both scenarios are among a mother's worst nightmare.


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## emmy526 (Jul 23, 2007)

Yay..baby is off vent, and mom n dad are finally allowed skin to skin and to talk to him!!


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## pulcetti (Sep 29, 2014)

I send to you, to that baby,to her mom/dad all the love I'm capable of. These are terrible and difficult moments and yes you have all the right to vent here.

Love to you


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## MeepyCat (Oct 11, 2006)

In re: all the right to vent here.

Yes, absolutely, anyone can say what they want (within the terms of the UA) absolutely anywhere, however - 
1. This is not a private forum, and it is not inconceivable that the parents in this case could find this post at some juncture, at which point, it seems likely to me that they could feel hurt by it.
2. Posts of this kind are unkind to the parents of medically fragile children (whether the unkindness is intentional or not), and we have just as much right to push back as the OP has to vent. 

MDC can be a rough place to be if you aren't able to adhere perfectly to the ideals of natural parenting. Sometimes, even people who care deeply about those ideals can't live by them, and in those cases, conversations like this one can be very painful for parents to read.


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## kathymuggle (Jul 25, 2012)

MeepyCat said:


> In re: all the right to vent here.
> 
> Yes, absolutely, anyone can say what they want (within the terms of the UA) absolutely anywhere, however -
> 1. This is not a private forum, and it is not inconceivable that the parents in this case could find this post at some juncture, at which point, it seems likely to me that they could feel hurt by it.
> ...


I disagree with you. As I am the one who brought up venting.....

1. This is not a private forum but Emmy, the Op, is in the best position to know whether her friend would likely come to MDC and if her friend would be able to figure out if it was her situation we were talking about. This is Emmy's call - not ours.

2. You can push back if you want - but it is a kindness to allow a person a safe place to vent. It can also help the person de-stress so they do not take it out in real life. If the venter is suggesting saying thoughtless things to the parents, then yes - some push back is in order, but if they are clearly only venting, then the wise thing is to listen and affirm someone heard their concerns.

(Gently) This thread isn't about you. If you have your own issues around medically fragile children, you can start your own post. This thread isn't about the Op's friend - who isn''t even here. This thread is about Emmy's processing of the event.

Before anyone says "you do not have a medically fragile, you do not understand" I will point out my youngest was in the NICU for 10 days. She had life saving surgery at 14 hours old. I do get it.


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## MeepyCat (Oct 11, 2006)

Kathy, I've been very gentle about my pushing back here. I don't always feel that it's beneficial to simply listen and affirm, and this is one such case.


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## kathymuggle (Jul 25, 2012)

MeepyCat said:


> Kathy, I've been very gentle about my pushing back here. I don't always feel that it's beneficial to simply listen and affirm, and this is one such case.


I do not think you were harsh in this thread.

I think we may simply disagree on when pushing back is appropriate and when it is not. I see nothing in Emmy's post that makes me feel push back is beneficial.


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## 95191 (Nov 8, 2007)

MeepyCat said:


> Sometimes, even people who care deeply about those ideals can't live by them, and in those cases, conversations like this one can be very painful for parents to read.


I'm a little confused here, could you explain?

If, according to you, this is _too painful for parents to read_, where do you want to send them?

I feel @kathymuggle addressed this very well. Your post comes off as if you are saying parents can't be adults. They should be! Did we all loose the freewill to make _adult decisions_ and just "turn it off" or "not read on" if we can't handle it?

Many take comfort in being able to read posts/threads like this and know other parents dealt with same or similar situations. IF someone is coming to a message board like this they should know it's about _natural parenting_, not mainstream parenting. There are many other options out there for support.

I dealt with a premie too, this is quite personal.


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## detechbio (Dec 25, 2015)

*awful*

Very awful! :frown:


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## Xerxella (Feb 6, 2008)

NancySmith said:


> For babies 1 yr and older, you may try an apple cider vinegar treatment. As a result of Apple cider vinegar helps draw warmth out of the physique, it may scale back an excessive physique temperature.
> 
> Add ¼ cup of uncooked, unfiltered apple cider vinegar to a big bowl of lukewarm water.
> 
> ...


What's the deal with posts like this? Obviously the person never read the thread. Who in their right mind would recommend ACV to a premie in the NICU?!?!? They even say after one year old, so they clearly never read the thread.

So, what's the deal? Is this a computer generated response? And to what end? What's the point? I don't get it.


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