# Family member said I'm not a mom!



## Freckles (Mar 8, 2004)

My step mom is planning to honor my sister and me on Mother's Day by hosting a family dinner and apparently my brother didn't understand why I was being honored and told her I'm not a mom. I am very very sad.

I know my son isn't here on Earth but he lived one hour before he went to heaven! I gave birth to him and my belly scar is a constant reminder.

Why can't everyone I know see me as a mom as I see myself?

When strangers or acquaintances ask me, "Do you have children?" you better believe I remember my son and my other two babies that didn't make it out of the womb.

Thank you for letting me vent.


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## wilkers8 (Mar 22, 2004)

I am sooooo sorry. Tears immediately came to my eyes upon reading this post. You became a mom the minute you found out you were pregnant! The truth is...I feel sorry for those people who can't understand that.


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## Quirky (Jun 18, 2002)

That is so awful, and so sad. Excuse me for saying so, but your brother is a moron.









Happy Mother's Day, mama.





















I am so sorry your babies aren't in your arms.


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## iris0110 (Aug 26, 2003)

I am so sorry your brother said that. Don't you ever believe him. You are as much a mom as anyone. I hope his attitude doesn't make your mothers day any harder.

On the plus side it is so nice that your Mother recognizes you and wants to honor you on Mother's day. Thumbs up to her.


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## gonnabeamom (Sep 15, 2003)

Freckles brother









Freckels stepmom


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## AnnMarie (May 21, 2002)

s He's wrong!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!


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## Colorful~Mama (Feb 20, 2003)

he is wrong. Happy mothers day. i'm so sorry for your loss


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## Ms. Mom (Nov 18, 2001)

You're a mother with a full heart and empty arms. I rember well my first mothers day after Amanda was born still - placenta abruption as well. I'm no more a mother now with 2 living children than I was then.

Big







to you mamma freckles.


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## babycarrier (Apr 2, 2004)

Happy Mother's Day to you momma!


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## Arduinna (May 30, 2002)

OMGosh (huge HUGES) that was a very insensitive comment you're brother made.

I don't what is wrong with people??? You are a mother, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I'm glad that your step mom understands this.


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## SweetTeach (Oct 5, 2003)

Ahh, screw him!

And come join the mother's day thread- we'll make sure you get well wishes for Mother's day!
Enjoy your dinner Mama.


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## SweetTeach (Oct 5, 2003)

Freckles, I wanted to share this with you:
On Friday I was doing some work with a friend and we were talking about the difficulty I was feeling around Mother's Day and people's reactions to my loss. I was telling her about some of the things that people have said to me and to others (us here) and I pulled up MDC (and told her about this board) to look at Arduinna's thread. When I was looking for the thread, my friend saw the title of this thread and she pointed to it and looked at me and burst into tears. She said to me, "How could anybody say that to her? That is so hurtful!" She was literally moved.
I just wanted to let you know that there are compassionate human beings out there who have some semblance of understanding of what we are going through. This woman has no children herself, by the way.

I hope you enjoy your dinner tomorrow.









Gonnabeamom- your post is funny!


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## srain (Nov 26, 2001)

I'm sorry.







I don't know your family, but it's possible your brother was just being clueless rather than intentionally being a jerk. Would it help you deal with him better if you called him/ had someone else set him straight before you see him next?


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## Britishmum (Dec 25, 2001)

How horrible for you. But how wonderful of your stepmum to do this for you!

I dont know your brother, but is he perhaps just clueless, rather than unkind? People do say stupid things, and some men in particular can tend to be clueless. Can your dh speak to him if he is to be there? It would probably been better if someone had set him straight at the time and nobody had mentioned it to you. Unless he is a complete @#$%, in which case, get your husband to









I hope you have a wonderful dinner.


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## Freckles (Mar 8, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *srain*
I'm sorry.







I don't know your family, but it's possible your brother was just being clueless rather than intentionally being a jerk. Would it help you deal with him better if you called him/ had someone else set him straight before you see him next?

Thanks everyone so much for your replies!

Srain, I do believe now that he was just being clueless b/c I had my little sis talk to him (I knew if I talked to him I would just cry and screw up my words) and straighten it out before our family dinner tonight. He gave me a beautiful card with such a sweet sentiment that I know he gets it now. But what a hard night! I tried to be happy but I broke down a few times and everyone was very supportive but they don't ever mention my son unless I do. I hate that!

Happy Mother's Day to everyone and God Bless!


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## hmpc2 (Jul 1, 2003)

Happy Mother's Day!!!!! I am so glad that your brother now gets it....I at first wanted to whap him upside the head....so it is relief I feel for your family. You are and always will be a mama! ~Heather


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## gonnabeamom (Sep 15, 2003)

Freckles,

Happy Mother's Day.

Thank you for having the courage to be a mother, and to love your son with all your heart every second he was here, and every second since.

I think of you, and I wonder-what was his name? Did he look like you? Did you get to hold his tiny hand in yours?

If anyone asks you again "Are you a mother?" Ask if they want to see the xray or your child-enlarged heart.


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## doulamomvicki (Nov 4, 2003)

Happy Mother's Day Freckles!


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## HaveWool~Will Felt (Apr 26, 2004)

"Ahh, screw him!" _Quote from SweetTeach_

Love you Sweet Teach!!!!









I am so sorry that such an insensitive comment was made to another about you...









Karma sucks if you aren't very kind to others!!!









Love to you my friend Freckles....


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