# At my wit's end and wanting to cry



## Island Mommy (Mar 26, 2003)

DD has been crying/screaming on and off for 2 hours. It's 2 a.m. I just cannot nurse her every hour all night long anymore. She will not be comforted by singing, rubbing back, carrying. She keeps tearing at my clothing but I've tried to nurse her down and she will not stop poking and rubbing and pinching. I can't take it. Every night it's the same. She never just latches on and gently drifts back to sleep. I'm awake for at least 15 minutes, usually more, with each nursing. She never stops moving her hands until she falls asleep. It's impossible to sleep through it.

I'm usually really patient but tonight I just couldn't handle it. We had a rough night last night, babysat another baby all day today and then as soon as I'd fallen asleep tonight she was up.

She's with dh now because I don't think there's any way she'll fall asleep with me in the room. She won't lie still and keeps crawling all over the bed and banging her head into the wall.

Good lord, when will this ever end?


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## Island Mommy (Mar 26, 2003)

2:20a.m. and all is quiet from the bedroom.

Why do I feel like "I" have to be there? She'd probably have been asleep much sooner if I'd left her with dh earlier. She knows she can't nurse from him. Yet I feel like I'm abandoning her and it breaks my heart.

Boy, I should get some sleep and start again tomorrow.


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## Morgraine (Mar 1, 2004)

Hey B.C. take a deep breath, I am sending you some HUGS and calm.


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## onlyboys (Feb 12, 2004)

Dear God, I've been there.

I know telling you that this will pass will not help, but it WILL pass. I was in your exact spot a year ago. Then again 6 months ago, then again 6 weeks ago.

My son is just not a good sleeper. Whenever ANYTHING happens to upset him he's off sleep again. He wakes up frantic looking for me, and I'm asleep beside him. I would tolerate it as long as I could. I would nap with him during the day, and try my best to rest at night.

When I started breaking down into tears, my husband took over. I cried with him from the other room. We haven't done that in a long time. (Thank god)

He's slept through the night all this week. That's the best ever, and it just keeps getting better the older he gets. As he gets more verbal things make more sense.

For example: last week, he went screaming down the hall, he was out of bed before I could roll over, yelling, "Mama! The worms!" Hysterics. My husband ran after him (I was nursing our 6 month old) and he was frantic that we should leave the house because of the worms. We had just added worms to our compost pile and he was terrified of them.

So, we're beginning to wonder how much of his sleep issues are dream-related.








I've been there mama. It will get better.

Amanda, nak


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## Mothra (Jun 4, 2002)

If she is okay, then you are not abandoning her. I had to start having dh take over ds's nightime problems when I got pregnant last year. Same thing you described until I just gave up. As soon as I stepped out of the picture it got much better. Dh put him to bed, and when he woke up at night dh was the one that took care of him. At first I would move out to the couch until he got settled, but eventually he didn't even look to me for help at night. My feelings were a little hurt at first, but it was what I wanted (and needed!).

It will pass. Eventually they grow up, but it takes a hella long time.


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## Island Mommy (Mar 26, 2003)

She slept for 4 hours! This is a near record.

So, was it because she was exhausted or because she was sleeping beside dh and thought I wasn't in the room? Was it because she fell asleep on her own without my nipple in her mouth? The eternal questions.

I do know that when dh stays with her while she falls asleep she often sleeps quite a long stretch (2-3 hours) before she wakes up. If she falls asleep nursing it's almost guaranteed that she'll wake again in 45 minutes.

Uh, OK, I think I see a pattern. DH will be doing more of the nighttime parenting and I have to allow dd to cry and be mad that I'm not there.

If I could only be sure that she's crying because she's mad and not because she's sad, it would be so much easier.


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## Mothra (Jun 4, 2002)

There is a fine line between mad and sad when it comes to kids. Most of the time I am able to suck it up and just deal with my own frustration when my 2yo freaks out at night. Sometimes, like when I was first pregnant and very ill, the benefits for me of my husband taking over the nighttime duty outweighed the sadness my son felt.

Sleep deprivation is a very real problem in mothers of young children and it gets scoffed at. We make jokes about it and laugh at other mothers who complain of it, but it is no joke. I know many women, who are completely sane, say they started hearing and seeing things after the fifth night in a row up with a screaming infant or toddler. When you have more than one, you can't always sleep when they do during the day. I wouldn't halluciante, exactly, but I would lose long stretches of time during the day and night. My son when through a period when he was up for three hours a night, usually sometime between 1:00 and 5:00. I had to get up at 6:00 to get my other one off to school. This had been going on for about a week, and Friday when my husband got home from work I asked him why he was home so early. I thought it was about noon and it was 5:00pm. That was the breaking point.

If you feel like you can't take it anymore, maybe you shouldn't. It sounds like your husband can take over the situation, and that might be a good thing until you have time to rest.


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## *solsticemama* (Feb 8, 2003)

Island Mommy







s to you


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## Bearsmama (Aug 10, 2002)

IslandMommy-Here's a







to let you know that I'VE BEEN THERE and you will survive it. Even though there are moments when you think you won't.

Please try to keep breathing, and take good care of yourself. And KNOW, at 2am, that there are others out here who have been there (or ARE THERE). We are kindred spirits.


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## Island Mommy (Mar 26, 2003)

Thanks for all your support. I really needed it. I came down with a cold the next day so that probably contributed to feeling so horrible.

I'd like to report a big improvement! DH is back to reading to DD and then falling asleep with her. We did this before but had sort of gotten out of the habit. 2 nights and she's fallen asleep without any crying.

I've been sleeping on the couch. Both nights it's been:

8:30 p.m. Asleep
Midnight Awake crying. I went in and nursed.
4:00 Awake crying. I got in bed with her and nursed/slept until 7 or so.

Each night she's woken one other time but has gone back to sleep with dh rubbing her back.

I can't believe the difference and wonder why I never tried sleeping in another room before! Well, of course I do. I want to sleep with dh and dd but really, right now all I want to do is sleep. If that means I'm on the couch, so be it.


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## mamasiobhan (Feb 22, 2002)

Good for you, Island Mommy. When I couldn't take night-time breastfeeding anymore (dh was 16 months), and she wouldn't even fall asleep at night with bf-ing and we'd both end up frustrated and exhausted, we had to try getting her to sleep another way...

I actually slept at a friend's house for the first 2 nights of my dh putting Fiona to bed, because I didn't want to hear her crying and screaming. She apparently cried (from frustration, not from being abandoned--dh was singing to her and cuddling her almost the entire time) for a few hours the first night, and then only 30 minutes the 2nd night, and then after that he would sing to her and rub her back and she'd be asleep in 15-30 minutes. After a full week of dh putting Fiona to bed, I was able to put her to bed again, and she was out of the habit of nursing to sleep. She had learned a new skill---going to sleep!! It really is an important skill for little ones to learn, and it's hard for mamas to let go and let them learn it!

2 years later, my fears of damaging her by not nursing her to sleep seem so silly now! But they were oh-so real at the time!

Good luck, and keep it up, mama!

Love
MamaSiobhan


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## mamasiobhan (Feb 22, 2002)

One more thing I remembered that help get dd into the "going to bed" frame of mind...

I or my dh would walk around the house, carrying Fiona, and say goodnight to many things in the house... "Good night door, good night lamp, good night cat, good night stuffed animals, good night stars..."

And she got a "nighttime snack bar" (healthy of course) which got her mind off of nursing before bed... she was always excited to see what treats we put in her snack bar! Raisins, veggie booty, Os, etc...


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## Squinkymom (Dec 16, 2003)

Mothra, thank you thank you thank you. What a wonderful post. You made my day! It is true that everyone thinks sleep deprivation is kind of funny, but it's really not. It's seriously affecting my quality of life and my ability to earn a living (even if it's only part time!) Thanks for the validation. It's nice to know that someone really gets it!


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## rareimer (Oct 20, 2003)

i am SO there...no advice here, just want to offer some hugs and let you know you're not alone.


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## BusyMommy (Nov 20, 2001)

Sounds like it's getting better. YEA I think it's an awesome idea to sleep on the couch.







Eventually, you'll be able to move back in peacefully.
I'd love to do the same but dh is totally dysfunctional at night and w/lack of adequate sleep.

Whyis that women are genetically encoded to function better on less sleep?


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

I don't know because it's totally unfair!


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## wendyk (Feb 9, 2004)

I was so happy to read this thread as dd (14 months), who at baseline wakes up anywhere from 3-5 times per night has been waking up every 1 1/2 hours for the last 3 nights. I am slipping over the edge. She's getting a new tooth & wants to nurse CONSTANTLY. While I'm happy to oblige for the most part during the day, the nighttime is killing me. I don't know if it's sloppy latch-on or just constant sucking but I am getting so sore. To make it even more irritating, so pops off forcefully, sleeps for just long enough for me to doze off, then latches on again, waking me up. I just can't take it anymore. Last night I would let her do this twice each time she woke up, then no more. I sat with her, patting her on the back or stroking her face, telling her I loved her & why we couldn't nurse right now. She would get really mad and cry for a couple of minutes while I did this, then fall asleep. We did this several times during the night. I'm proud of myself for not losing it overnight, because it's certainly something I struggle with. I feel really terrible for making her so upset, but my nipples are just so sore.

Unfortunately, dh is a surgical intern currently working on call shifts (usually around 30 hours) every 2-3 nights for the last week & a half. He is not able to be much help right now though he really tries hard.

At least she's in a good mood this morning.

Thanks for letting me commiserate....

Wendy


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## Island Mommy (Mar 26, 2003)

Thanks everyone for still reading this post. DD has cut her first molar. 3 more to go, ugh. We're still getting one good stretch of 3 hours but then I'm so exhausted that I end up falling asleep with her and she wakes up constantly after that. She was so tired when she woke this morning at 6:15 a.m. that she was back down for a nap by 8:15 a.m.!! Usually she doesn't nap until at least 11 a.m. and sometimes not until 2:00 so this is very abnormal behaviour. I'm thinking it's time to get some curtains in the bedroom, perhaps the earlier light isn't helping things.

On a positive note, dh took her this morning and I went back to sleep until 9 a.m. Yesterday I took her and dh went back to sleep and the day before it was the opposite. We are SO lucky to both be at home and I really feel for those of you who are on your own all day.

Wendyk, is your dd cutting her molars too? I too feel terrible when dd screams so much and I feel that I just can't nurse her one more time. But, I think as Mothra said, there's a fine line between mad and sad with toddlers. I'm really struggling with the idea of nightweaning. It seems such a drastic move and I don't know how she would understand it. However, I NEED SLEEP so something has to give.


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## Squinkymom (Dec 16, 2003)

Inspired by the ideas and support in this thread, I finally, on the verge of tears, asked dh to put dd down last night. I couldn't take it any more.

He sat and rocked her for about 45 minutes, and she cried, a lot, but he stayed with her and soothed her, and sang to her, which intrigued her enough to cheer her up...and she was asleep shortly thereafter.

She slept last night, FOR THE FIRST TIME, for 6 hours STRAIGHT. She stirred a few times during the night but put herself right back to sleep.

And tonight, dh put her to sleep again, NO TEARS, no complaining, he just sang his made up little song to her again and she lay and watched him until she fell asleep.

I think you may understand, dear friends, what a miraculous development this is. And I owe it in large part to you!!!










If you have dh's who are willing, you might want to try giving them a crack at it. It is remarkable.


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## wendyk (Feb 9, 2004)

I am having some hope that my dd will not feel unloved if I don't nurse her back to sleep every hour. Actually, she went to bed faster tonight than I believe I've ever gotten her to bed. We walked around in the sling picking up the house for about 15 minutes, nursed, then layed down together. She cried for only about 10 sec while I was patting her on the back telling her I loved her & that I would be right there if she woke up. Then sound asleep. I can't believe it. I still feel really bad for making her so upset, but I am not leaving her alone to cry, and while she's too young to really understand the words, I feel like my tone of voice, my actions and my body language still convey love & comfort, not abandonment.

Island Mommy- :LOL We're a little behind on the getting teeth thing-- she is working on tooth #2-- the bottom left one! I can only imagine what molars will be like









Squinkymom-- Yay for you!!!!! I'm always happy when someone has sucess gently teaching their child to sleep


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## wendyk (Feb 9, 2004)

Anybody think that for some kids that nursing or even just being that close to another person is too stimulating at night? I know it's a bit of a stretch, but it seems like sometimes dd can't fall asleep nursing at night (or even at bedtime)- like she just can't get settled for more than a minute or so until I'm not so close by. Maybe I'm just grasping at straws and hoping to explain a non-sleeping situation that doesn't really have explanation







:

She slept for 3 hours last night, which in and of itself is an improvement, then woke up, nursed a little, started the nurse for a minute, pull off, sleep for a minute then latch on again routine. When I stopped allowing her to latch on when she started doing this it precipitated 2 hours of crying. I was calm the whole time, stayed with her the whole time, talked to her, rubbed her back, etc- any kind of comforting activity I could do short of nursing. She slept for a blessed 3 1/2 stretch after all this, woke up, nursing for just minute, then went back to sleep for 2 hours. I feel so much better today for having longer than an hour stretch to sleep.

So, at this point, being 14 months old, she *wants* to nurse all night long but the actual *need* is the comfort from a parent-- right? It isn't CIO if I stayed with her and calmly tried to provide comfort- right? I'm not being a bad mom for trying to change something that's really starting to affect my ability to function during the day? It really isn't working well for her either- especially the days I work & she goes to child care & can't nap. It just can't be good for your sleep to be that interrupted, even as a toddler.

Someone please reaasure me & I'm sorry I'm taking over the thread with my issues-- I just feel like I found kindred suffers (did that make sense?!!!)

Wendy


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## Island Mommy (Mar 26, 2003)

Well, it should probably be a more experienced mom that reassures you (and me) but I do think your theory that the babe may be overstimulated by our presence has merit. One night recently I tried to get dd back to sleep for over 2 hours. She kept nursing on/off, on/off. Finally I gave up and left. She cried with dh for less than 15 minutes then fell asleep.

I find that when I can separate myself from her she does sleep longer but I'm usually so exhausted that I fall asleep side-nursing her. It's sort of a catch-22. On the nights that she actually goes back to sleep quite quickly, I feel more rested when I just lay in bed beside her. The first nights I tried to sit up and nurse her, then put her down and go back to sleep on the couch. I've given up on that because I'm so tired that I can't stay awake.

The other thing I've noticed is that she will cry and fuss alot longer with me than with dh. My theory is that she knows I can nurse her and doesn't understand why I won't. With dh she knows there's no chance of nursing so she just goes to sleep.

I'm sorry WendyK that your dh cannot help much right now. Must be very difficult.

Squinkymom, try not to get discouraged if there are more nights of crying ahead. We found that a few good nights with no crying are then followed by some crying nights. That's why I went back to nursing dd to sleep. Last night dd cried for about 10 minutes I think. Because she can walk I actually heard her get up out of bed and come to the door crying. Difficult not to go to her but dh was there. He said he let her cry for a few minutes then went and got her and talked to her about her day until she fell asleep.


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## edamommy (Apr 6, 2004)

that very behavior is what has led us to the decision that it's time for our 13 month old son to sleep in his crib... not with us. It was like a week of NO sleep for us that drove us to the decision. We would awake to Baylor sleeping laid out across my throat like a puppy pile or he would crawl to the bottom of the bed and sleep with the dog (dog not so into that) or he would just fuss and fuss and suck the dear life out of me ALL NIGHT LONG or we even awoke to him sleeping in a sit position once... ugh. Maybe your baby is ready to take another step towards independance?

Good luck!
Kimberley


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## Island Mommy (Mar 26, 2003)

What I wonder is why cosleeping works so great for some people and not for others? I was talking to my Japanese naturopath and he was saying how he'd always slept with his parents and I wondered what Japanese people would do if cosleeping didn't work. Then I wondered if that situation ever arises.


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## edamommy (Apr 6, 2004)

is a normal thing. Babies are all different and need different levels of attention and care and love. Co-sleeping worked like a charm for us for the first year... that's all he needed to build his little ego enough to be able to sleep alone. That's what I think anyway. If it's not working.... it's your babies brilliant way of telling you she needs another arrangment!








Kimberley


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## Squinkymom (Dec 16, 2003)

Ditto for me on the "nursing doesn't work" anymore point...It used to be my failsafe, no matter what, solution (but did result too in her waking so frequently). I do think that she's trying to tell us that she needs another solution, but I'll be darned if I can figure out what it is!

I'm also puzzled, though, at how bf'ing moms *don't* have this problem at night...I find it really hard to say no to her when she wants to nurse; it's just best for me to be out of the picture altogether when she goes to sleep because--as you point out--she knows that dh won't nurse her so she goes to sleep...(same thing with MIL too!)

There is the hell of night weaning, I guess, but I don't mind getting up once or even twice to nurse her; it's the "will she be up every 45 minutes and refuse to let go of my nipple so that I'm crippled in the morning from back spasms" question that is so wearing on me.


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## USAmma (Nov 29, 2001)

I haven't read all the posts yet but my dd was born 1/27/03 and I just found out she has reflux. I have an appt. tomorrow with the ped and in the meantime am giving her a bit of Mylanta with her feedings and it's making a HUGE difference. I wonder if your baby has some kind of gastric distress going on like reflux, or gas, or maybe she needs to do a bm? (My baby makes a huge production when she has to do a bm, always has).

It sounds to me from your description that your sweet baby is in some kind of distress. Before I found out about the reflux thing, it helped my baby to calm down fast if I swaddled her tightly, cradleed her tummy to tummy, and offered her the paci (I don't bf or I would offer the breast for suck comfort instead). Then I rock her and say SHHHH over and over and she's usually calm and sleeping within 5 min. I got this method from the book The Happiest Baby on the Block and it works almost every time. I totally believe in the power of swaddling!

I know it sounds corny (I always thought this was a dumb product for an AP mom until I bought one), but I had a credit at a consignment store and bought one of those sound of the womb bears to try out. The bear looks odd so I took the device out and just lay it in the cosleeper directly. The darned thing works! If she's overly tired, or wakes at night but I know she's not ready to feed again, I turn it on and she immediately relaxes and goes back to sleep most of the time.

Hope you get better sleep soon!

Darshani

PS About cosleeping being good for some and not others-- I agree! My oldest coslept with us for over 2 years and finally I got tired of the constant kicking and put her in her own bed. Decided to start baby off in the cosleeper and keep her in her own bed if possible. We have a waterbed so she can't be in our bed at this age anyway. But honestly I'm getting better rest with baby in the cosleeper rather than squashed up next to me. I get very touched-out by the end of the day. I'm not even nursing either! You nursing mommies really have my admiration! It's nice to have her right there next to me so I can pat her if she starts to wake up. The big plan is to put the side up on it and detach it from the bed when she becomes mobile, and then move it to big sister's room when she's around a year old.

Darshani


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## onlyboys (Feb 12, 2004)

Quote:

_Originally posted by wendyk_
*So, at this point, being 14 months old, she *wants* to nurse all night long but the actual *need* is the comfort from a parent-- right? It isn't CIO if I stayed with her and calmly tried to provide comfort- right? I'm not being a bad mom for trying to change something that's really starting to affect my ability to function during the day? It really isn't working well for her either- especially the days I work & she goes to child care & can't nap. It just can't be good for your sleep to be that interrupted, even as a toddler.*
I think that her needing to nurse may not be driven by a physical need, but rather and psychological or social reason. Perhaps she just wants to nurse for comfort. There is nothing necessarily wrong with this notion.

My 27 month old just began sleeping through the night. We nightweaned when he was 2--I had had another baby and was exhausted--and while that took a little bit of time, probably a month or two, he now is able to not nurse. He still wakes up, around 5am, but then snuggles into me and goes right back to sleep after a little bit of conversation.

This is so much better than what it used to be that I don't even mind. I actually like those moments when he's talking about cereal in the morning, or worms in our garden, or whatever. I think he talks about his dreams sometimes.

14 months seems a bit young for you to nightwean, but if you need to do it for sanity reasons, then certainly, she won't be missing any necessary nutrition, per se.

I have to say, though, that my sleep has always been fragmented. Even when I was a adolescent. I never really slept more than 3 hours without waking up for some reason. Perhaps my son is part of that same way of sleeping.

HTH!

Amanda


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## wendyk (Feb 9, 2004)

It isn't so much nightweaning that I'm after. I truly don't mind nursing her at night and I'm happy to provide comfort to her by nursing her. It's just often the case that nursing isn't helping her get back to sleep and doesn't seem to be all that comforting-- she's just persistently on and off. She isn't resting well at that point & neither am I. At most we get 2 hours of peace in between 45 minutes or more of latch on, nurse for a while, then pull off, sleep for a minute, then start all over. We've battled food allergies for a while, but I really feel like we've gotten them under control because this waking pattern is actually a dramatic improvement. Besides, this is different than she was doing with the allergies.

This nighttime parenting is by far my biggest challenge. I wish there were easy answers for this. And I wish I wasn't so tired.

wendy


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## Island Mommy (Mar 26, 2003)

USAmma, how did you find out your dd has reflux?

Also, do you still swaddle her now that she's almost 15 months old?


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## onlyboys (Feb 12, 2004)

WendyK--







to you!

It will get better, promise! You're doing your best, and that's all you can do.

I hope you get some extra rest soon... Could your partner take her in the day so you could catch some zzz's? That helped me enormously during the times when I was so sleep deprived that I saw people standing in my house with me.


















Amanda


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## wendyk (Feb 9, 2004)

ok- I've come to the conclusion that any attempt at this point to get her to stop nursing all night long is just a bad idea. Her waking has done nothing but get worse. The only improvement I've seen is that she slept for 3 hours straight when she first went to bed 2 nights in a row. I think that for now I'm going to hope that trend continues & find ways to live with the rest. Maybe a water bottle beside the bed will help with that intense feeling of dehydration I have each morning & help prevent the headache I've had for 5 days now. I can't handle making her so upset anymore even though I was there to comfort her the whole time. Maybe when she's a little older with a little better ability to understand that mommy gets really sore when we nurse all night long.

Amanda- my dh & I both wish he could take time during the day to give me a break. If anyone wonders why their physician seems to be lacking in compassion, it is because the humanity is driven out of them during medical school & residency. 100+ hours a week and 3 overnight call shifts at the hospital will understandabley do that to you. It's a terrible system. He's gone more than he's home, though when he's home he's with us & leaves work behind. He's a great guy in a tough situation right now.

Thanks for everyone's support. It's pretty helpful to just know that others have been through this & lived to tell about it.

Wendy


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## Island Mommy (Mar 26, 2003)

Don't give up WendyK.

DD had a bad few nights and I thought we were back to square one, then last night she went to bed at 8:30 p.m., woke to nurse from 12:20 a.m. to 12:50 a.m. then slept straight through until 6:20 a.m !!!!!

I couldn't believe it. I was sleeping on the couch and I had five straight hours of sleep. A miracle for sure.


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## Island Mommy (Mar 26, 2003)

WendyK just wanted to add that I just can't understand why the medical training system doesn't change. There's been so much research done by doctors on the effects of inadequate rest and sleep...and then they make doctors in training work horrendous hours and make life and death decisions when they're exhausted.

It's just so stupid.


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## wendyk (Feb 9, 2004)

Thanks Island Mommy. It's nice to be able to talk to others whose child just isn't hardwired to sleep well. Its seems like the sleeping issue is used as a measure of your ability as a parent. Whatever. I have a wonderful, loving, smiling, happy baby who just doesn't sleep well. This too will pass. I'm happy you were able to get some sleep. I know you must feel like a new woman!

It's funny that I feel more peaceful about not trying to get her to sleep better than I felt about trying to get her to. That probably should tell me something.

As for medical training.... it's a bad system. It's easy to point fingers to say it's the fault of the insurance companies or the fault of the lawyers for suing doctors or the government for making Medicare the standard. There's a lot of fault a lot of places. At least now there are hints of change-like the 80 hour limit (that gets flagrantly ignored). I guess some effort is to be commended. In any case, life will get a little better once his internship is done in June. Yay!!!! We're counting the days!

Here's hoping for another decent night's sleep for you Island Mommy







:







:


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## USAmma (Nov 29, 2001)

Quote:

_Originally posted by Island Mommy_
*USAmma, how did you find out your dd has reflux?

Also, do you still swaddle her now that she's almost 15 months old?*
She's only 2 mos. old. 

Anyway, my oldest had reflux so I'm somewhat familiar with it. Hers was projectile vomiting. The baby has constant spit up and exhibits pain during feeding sessions, as well as intermittent screaming episodes. Eliminated dairy from my diet when I was pumping, but that only helped some. When I stopped pumping I tried different formulas and now she's on a hypoallergenic one that's helping some but not curing it. Finally decided to give her some Mylanta before her feedings and she's *much* happier. It happened almost instantly. I've spoken with the ped on the phone and am going today for a visit with her. The Mylanta made such a huge difference, and they often use Mylanta as a trial to see if the child has reflux or not.

Darshani


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## wendyk (Feb 9, 2004)

Island Mommy- how was your night? Ours was better-- still an extended initial sleep time, then several wake-ups during the night. The difference being that I just nursed her when she woke up. I'm thrilled with the initial longer sleep time, so we'll just be happy with that and otherwise go back to nursing during the night when she wants to. I put a water bottle beside the bed & was able to drink a little which kept me from feeling so dehydrated in the morning. I feel a lot better for not fighting her desire to nurse frequently at night, though I feel bad that I even felt the need to try to fight it. I guess maybe because I'm tired & had to see if there was a better way. And because I'm human & make mistakes.

wendy


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## Island Mommy (Mar 26, 2003)

WendyK, I know what you mean about just accepting it. That's what I've done on and off when I've tried different things to get dd to sleep longer and they just haven't worked. It's good to just accept it for awhile and go with the flow.

However, we're having great nights here (touch wood). Last night dd went to sleep at 8:30 p.m. with dh (some crying but not bad) then slept until 2:15 a.m.!!!! I nursed her sitting up (both sides) then laid her down. She cried for 20 seconds, rolled over onto her tummy and then went to sleep. Woke up at 6:15 a.m. for the day.

I slept on the couch. I'm going to do that for a bit longer and see if this trend continues then I'll try sleeping in the bed again. DD is sleeping on a futon right beside our mattress which is also on the floor.

I really can't tell you what an improvement this is and I can't believe how quickly the change has happened. I hope it happens soon for you too.


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## nichole (Feb 9, 2004)

awesome! keep us posted.


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## hollyhobbie (Jun 13, 2002)

hey there island mommy! was wondering how you were doing. sad to say the wheat thing helped but didnt really last then we found out boo is actually allergic to eggs and not wheat or dairy at all. sigh. but you know honestly the only thing that really seems to make any difference is time. she isnt as bad at the moment as your babe but there has been periods like that. i have been working on having her nap on her own crib mattress beside our bed but staying close so she doesnt freak out when she wakes. she seems to like the independence. this weekend i may try puttin her down on it for the first sleep of the night. i notice she stirs while napping at about 50 minutes but usually goes back to sound sleep again for another 40 minutes to an hr (if i am real lucky)! before that i used to hold her for naps. but since she is getting so huge and i am getting fed up and well we are ttc #2, i figure i cant hold em both. luckily she is sleeping as well for naps in her own bed as she was for me holding her. this was such a relief. do you get any relief when she naps? i find it helps my mindset getting that time to read or take it easy during the day.

i started out to say...do whatever it takes to get some sleep momma!!!! you been at this too long and you need some sleep. it wears you down and makes it difficult to be the parent you would like to be during the day. i have threatened to go stay in a hotel for the night. but i also fantasize about sleeping on the couch or on a mattress thingy in the laundry room with the fan on so i wont hear anything much. i wish you lots of shut eye. hang in there and oh yeah i have been taking calms forte and rescue remedy before going to bed and it helps me relax. sometimes it seems that is half the battle!


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