# Have you ever breastfed someone else's baby?



## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

I never have, but I do have two friends who would breastfeed each other's babies.

What about you? Has this ever come up? WOULD you ever do it or let someone else breastfeed you baby?


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## Backroads (May 4, 2013)

I voted "Other" because while I have never done so, I have nothing against the concept, and if a friend or family member, for whatever reason, asked if I would, I probably would oblige.


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## annlea (Nov 24, 2013)

My past two births I had so many issues breast feeding. My boobs were beyond engorged but I could NOT get out a good amount at all. And the lactation nurses at my hospital were an absolute joke or had no idea how to help me. They didn't even really try to help. This time around **deep breaths deep breaths**

But if I can't yet again I would totally wish I had someone to breast feed my baby. It would kill me to see that (which may be dramatic but I have a lot of feelings hooked on to this) but in the end I am having formula be my absolute last resort. Formula is an option but I would rather do other things


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## newmamalizzy (Jul 23, 2010)

Comple
Quote:


> Originally Posted by *annlea*
> 
> My past two births I had so many issues breast feeding. My boobs were beyond engorged but I could NOT get out a good amount at all. And the lactation nurses at my hospital were an absolute joke or had no idea how to help me. They didn't even really try to help. This time around **deep breaths deep breaths**
> 
> But if I can't yet again I would totally wish I had someone to breast feed my baby. It would kill me to see that (which may be dramatic but I have a lot of feelings hooked on to this) but in the end I am having formula be my absolute last resort. Formula is an option but I would rather do other things


Completely off topic of the thread, but that was exactly what happened to me with breast feeding my daughter! It was so painful (in more ways than one.)


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## blessedwithboys (Dec 8, 2004)

My roommate and I had babies two weeks apart. We both EBF but she was against sharing because it felt wrong to her. I was against it because she was sexually promiscuous. Otherwise, I would have done it.

When my ds was 3mo, my sister left her 12mo dd with me for a few hours and asked me to nurse her if she seemed to need it. I latched her on but she wasn't too in to it.

When my ds was 4yo and still nursing 1x/day, my friend left her newborn baby with me with only one bottle of BM. She disappeared for hours and the baby was screaming from hunger so I nursed her, both sides. Don't ask, don't tell. Judge me if you want!

No one else has ever nursed my kids. I know this BC I never left them.

My friend once left her 3mo with her mom and got stuck in traffic. Her mom ran out of BM and didn't have ABM on hand so she dry-nursed her granddaughter just for comfort, with her daughters blessing. It was really sweet bc she had had her kids in the 70s and had been discouraged away from nursing by the OB after her c-secs, so after twenty years she finally got to experience breastfeeding.


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## pamelaRRRR (May 27, 2013)

Yep. It was no big deal. A friend watched my first for a day while I had to go to a conference and he wouldn't take a bottle. We had babies close in age so she just nursed him.

Fast forward a year and she was pregnant with a 15-month old and her milk was gone. Her daughter pushed my son out of the way and got some milk when I was visiting from out of town.

I nursed her new baby a few times, and another friend's when I watched him for her to go to a concert.

I have no problem with someone I trust.


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## mmmveggies (Feb 9, 2014)

My friend's daughter just had a baby in jail, and her oldest daughter is going to take care of it. When I heard that, I thought "welp, formula for this kid" but she's gonna breastfeed!







She has an 18 month-old who is nursing so she still has milk. Such a great gift to give your little niece or nephew.


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## rachelsmama (Jun 20, 2005)

I voted "other" because I fully support cross-nursing and would have done it, but there just happened to never be a need.


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## blessedwithboys (Dec 8, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *mmmveggies*
> 
> My friend's daughter just had a baby in jail, and her oldest daughter is going to take care of it. When I heard that, I thought "welp, formula for this kid" but she's gonna breastfeed!
> 
> ...


Aw, so bittersweet for that lil one!


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## erigeron (Oct 29, 2010)

I would do it but it would have to be someone I'm pretty close to. The situation has never come up. I've been so engorged since my son was born, and I wish I had a close friend who could lend me a nursing toddler!


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## farmermomma (Oct 30, 2012)

I would willing nurse another's baby now that I have good supply. I think I would get pretty jealous watching my babe nurse from another. There would have to be a darn good reason. And even then I think it would be really hard for me. Oh the baby/momma relationship!


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## incredikat (Jan 23, 2014)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *FarmerMomma*
> 
> I would willing nurse another's baby now that I have good supply. I think I would get pretty jealous watching my babe nurse from another. There would have to be a darn good reason. And even then I think it would be really hard for me. Oh the baby/momma relationship!


Yup same here. I would nurse another baby no problem. When DS was maybe a month old, my SIL offered to "take him off our hands" so we could have a break. We said no, because he "might" be hungry (ha! he was nursing 24/7), and she offered to nurse him if that was the case. But I just felt really wierd with that. I also wouldn't really trust her with my kid though. But yeah, there would definatly be jealousy involved!


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## Marcimama (Jan 6, 2007)

I voted "no" but probably should have voted "other"... I have comfort nursed (not very successfully, as it didn't "take" and there wasn't much interest on her part) my daughter (who joined our family via adoption). Our son's birth mom nursed him as a baby... so my son has been nursed by someone other than me... and I wouldn't feel uncomfortable about nursing some one else's child if the need arose.

Now... Read this! Grandma Nurses Orphaned Twins


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## ihave7kids (Apr 21, 2012)

I would have no problem nursing someone else's little one if the need arose, although I haven't done it to date. Don't think I'd want my baby or toddler to nurse with someone else...maybe if I had a sister I might consider it with someone that close.

In the nursing mom's group I belong to, one of the moms told a story about a friend who was diagnosed with a serious illness just after giving birth. She needed meds that weren't safe for baby, so she couldn't nurse. All her friends who had babies donated bottles of their milk, so her baby never needed formula! Isn't that a great story? And the little girl (now a preschooler) has never been sick because she got antibodies from so many sources!!


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## bayosgirl87 (Dec 6, 2010)

I would have no problem with breastfeeding someone else's baby if the opportunity arose and it didn't interfere with my own son's nursing needs. I would let someone else breastfeed my son if I couldn't and I knew they were d/d free.


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## AllyFolsom (May 21, 2013)

Well I voted no. I tried to nurse a friends baby before but the baby wasn't having itlol. I wouldn't mind nursing someone's baby or vice versa.


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## rednightingale (Feb 3, 2014)

So my sister nursed my second baby when I had an appointment that went longer than expected and I left him with her. (We had discussed it ahead of time; in fact, it was the reason I was comfortable going to the appointment; I knew that she would be willing and able to nurse my baby if he needed it.) I once tried to nurse her daughter (again, with her knowledge of it and blessing to do so), but she was a bit older and really wasn't interested since I wasn't her mommy.

I did breastfeed another woman's baby in a strange situation once, though. I witnessed an accident happen right in front of me shortly after the birth of my second baby and I stopped to make sure that this woman was okay. It turned out that she had two children in the car with her, one of whom was an infant slightly older than my young infant. She was in extreme pain from the accident - her sternum made contact with the steering wheel - we later found out that she had cracked it - and couldn't hold her baby let alone nurse, so I offered to nurse her baby before her husband took her to the hospital to be checked out. It was a really cool experience to be able to help her out that way; we kept in contact for a while afterwards though we lost touch over time due to life circumstances, but I will always remember that experience.


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## SunshineRocket (Mar 12, 2012)

So I am not alone! When my son was 4 months old, a friend of mine left her 2 week old baby with me- supposedly for just an hour but it turned into all day (well over 10 hours) and I could not reach her by phone. I was seriously panicking and didn't know what to do. After several hours of the baby fussing, I nursed her on both sides and she went to sleep. I had to nurse her a few more times before her mom showed up. I was afraid the mom had been in an accident but she just decided that she needed to be "away" for awhile. She was having a hard time emotionally since her husband abandoned her just before the birth and had taken her 2 year old son- so no hard feelings. Glad she trusted me enough. I ended up watching the baby a few more times in the coming weeks and nursing her- the last time I saw them before they moved away, the baby was 3 months old and was NOT interested in nursing from anyone but momma!

I wanted to add that I knew from previous conversations with the mother that cross nursing was acceptable in her culture and religion. I think if you're given the choice between nursing an exclusively breastfed infant or feeding them something else (cows milk or formula?) breast milk is clearly the ideal choice.


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## TheSchoolGuy (Jan 30, 2014)

HUH??? Is that even healthy?


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## kitteh (Jun 25, 2009)

I haven't done it, but I would. And I would want my daughter to be nursed by someone if anything ever happened to me. I think breast milk is important, but the closeness of the physical act is also really important for their emotional development, I think. If I weren't able to give her that, I would still want someone else to.


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## rachelsmama (Jun 20, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *TheSchoolGuy*
> 
> HUH??? Is that even healthy?


Yes, it can be healthy. There are a few health issues to keep in mind, but there are health/safety issues to watch out for with anything that a baby could be fed.


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## Voondrop (Oct 31, 2012)

I played wetnurse for the lady I was babysitting for. She was my dental hygenist & I offered to babysit when she was 5 months along during my cleaning as I had just found out I was expecting #2. She was a single mom, Korean (not sure of the BF culture there) & delivered 3 months before I did. She went back to work 2 weeks after he was born, was able to come to my house & nurse him over her lunch break so I nursed him the rest of the work day for her until my baby was born.

I'm pretty sure it was his nursing that brought on a fast labor & after all of his stimulation when my milk came in it was agony. I was checking my bra size on the computer every hour because it kept going up & up until stopping at 46" or an I cup. I nursed them both until she wanted to start him on solids & kept dropping nursings except for nap time.


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## ecohudler (Feb 14, 2014)

I have nursed multiple of my friend's children and many of my mom friends nursed my little one when he was younger as well. I remember going to my local natural moms group on Facebook and posting things like, "Need a sitter who is okay with wet nursing." If you had told me ten years ago I'd be asking for things like that -- I'd have looked at you like you had two heads. But after my first was born (he's 7) it suddenly became second nature. Love it, it's good to know that you have people that are close enough to you that you can trust them with things like that. It was a life saver with my youngest when I was so stressed out and tired that I just wanted to take a nap. I could -- and just let someone else watch the little man!


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## Homeschool Quee (Feb 11, 2014)

My friend tried to breastfeed twice and literally was dry as the sahara. Same genetic disposition as her own mother.

A friend offered to breastfeed her 2nd baby. But her hubby was not into the idea. A little sad about it, because it could have been a really great opportunity.


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## blessedwithboys (Dec 8, 2004)

Yes, after only two breastfeeds, a mother would be fairly dry. The first two feeds would likely take place in the first few hours after birth, when a mother had only colostrum. The milk takes a few days to come in...perhaps 40 or so feeds if you calculate a feed every two hours or so for 2-3 days.

I get so pissed off when I hear of a mama missing out on nursing due to misinformation!!!


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## mmmveggies (Feb 9, 2014)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Voondrop*
> 
> I played wetnurse for the lady I was babysitting for.


It's funny, I didn't even think how common this used to be in societies that had wet nurses. Every royal for hundreds of years nursed from a woman who wasn't their mom.


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## Homeschool Quee (Feb 11, 2014)

Oh totally. She tried for 2 weeks. Baby lost a lot of weight. She had multiple lactation assistants and Le Leche community members there with her -- it just wasn't happnin. So sad because she wanted it so much.

Bottom line, she wanted to allow her friend to nurse for her. But her husband wouldn't allow.

To me - that part sucked even worse. To work so hard for two weeks, then to have to put the child on formula because hubby feels awkward.

Geez.


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## [email protected] (May 31, 2004)

I belong to a community and background where breastfeeding someone else's baby (usually in family and well known social relationships) is quite common. It is even inter-generational (involving grandmothers or grandaunts). Besides a baby's vital need for sustenance, mother to mother relationship and personal bondage also matter. I have been in cross-nursing relationship with my co-wife (my husband's first wife) and two friends, and sometimes under emergency situations involving others as well. I am told that I myself was sometimes breastfed by my father's aunt and the wife of my cousin brother; while the former is no more, the latter continues to convey warmth of that relationship.

Breastfeeding another woman's baby is an issue on which the discussions in this Forum in the past have shown widely different attitudes. It is only courteous that we respect each other's views, beliefs and actions. Dr. Virginia Thorley of Queensland is a reputed international expert on breastfeeding and has done pioneering work on Mothers Support Groups with deep humanitarian and feminine concerns. She had done a cross country survey about three years ago on the very issue in this Forum, namely, breastfeeding other's baby and the practice of cross / shared nursing. The same is also available on the net and can be tracked by first going to <www.virginiathorley.org> I commend to the interested members here to go through her research findings as they contain objective analysis, based on case studies, of the ground realities from all the relevant angles.

Uzra


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## ecohudler (Feb 14, 2014)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *blessedwithboys*
> 
> Yes, after only two breastfeeds, a mother would be fairly dry. The first two feeds would likely take place in the first few hours after birth, when a mother had only colostrum. The milk takes a few days to come in...perhaps 40 or so feeds if you calculate a feed every two hours or so for 2-3 days.
> 
> I get so pissed off when I hear of a mama missing out on nursing due to misinformation!!!


I could be wrong, but I read that person's post as she tried to breastfeed twice -- as in with two different children -- not twice as in two times with one child


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## Naturemama23 (Feb 9, 2014)

I voted other, not because I wouldn't but because I haven't. I have, though pumped milk for a friend who was unable to breastfeed but still wanted her baby to get the nourishment of breast milk.


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## unuselyriver (Aug 13, 2012)

i voted yes cause i breastfeed my sister baby when she ran off and left her with me for three days with nothing to feed her but one bottle and i had no money to get any formula at the time


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## Caledvwlch (Jul 5, 2007)

Breastfed the baby of someone I was mentoring - baby was having latching problems, everybody was getting frustrated, and I wanted to see if I could figure out what was wrong.

Also pumped and donated to a friend who was hospitalized with PPP after the birth of her first child, and was on medication afterward that was not BF-safe.

My first never cross-nursed because I was always there, but I would be okay with it for the new baby as long as I was comfortable with the wet nurse.


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## ecohudler (Feb 14, 2014)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Caledvwlch*
> 
> Breastfed the baby of someone I was mentoring - baby was having latching problems, everybody was getting frustrated, and I wanted to see if I could figure out what was wrong.


Yes! I have done this too! It wasn't that her latch was off, but her mom kept saying she was "moving her tongue weird" and so like three of us nursed her at a meetup to see if we could figure out the issue lol.


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## Chloe'sMama (Oct 14, 2008)

I never nursed another baby, but I would if needed, I have no problem with it. I would also not have a problem if for some reason I needed a trusted person to nurse my baby. I did pump a bunch for a friend.

That being said, I was nursed by my aunt when I was a newborn. I love hearing the story and feel extra close to that aunt.


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## anyalily (Oct 23, 2008)

A close friend had a medical procedure when her baby was a little under a year old. she had to be away all day so I stopped in twice to nurse her LO. She fed hungrily. My DD was already 2 but I still had tons of milk. I made the mistake of nursing her from my left which was starting to lose milk and caused a painful engorgement. I felt comfortable doing this because I had been tested and cleared to donate milk to a milk bank. I would not let my kids nurse from someone who had not been tested and monogamous and all that because of risk of infection...


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## 3lilchunklins (Feb 22, 2012)

I nursed my niece. My sister had never breastfed successfully so she was trouble shooting trying to see if the problem was with her or the baby.The baby could latch on but she didn't have a strong enough suckle to receive any milk. IDK what would have happened back in the day before bottles...


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## Vivien57 (Feb 20, 2010)

The third option could be "I would be happy to nurse someone else's baby but haven't had the opportunity".


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## LitMom (Mar 6, 2012)

I haven't, but I've donated breastmilk. And I would if there were a situation where it was needed in an emergency or something.


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