# My Baby's curls are gone, DH's fault



## Latte Mama (Aug 25, 2009)

So my DS had his first haircut today at home. Why at home? Oh because DH swore that he could do it just fine







. I told him not to take too much off.

So I was filming it when DH made the first cut. OMG, he cut ALL the way to the scalp! I think I died a little







. He said he didn't mean to do it and I know that's true but it still made me sad. Of course, the rest had to be cut the same way because the damage was done. I knew we should have went to a barber shop.

He will never touch my baby's hair again.

Pics below.

Before:

http://img195.imageshack.us/i/ecurls.jpg/

After:

http://img195.imageshack.us/i/enewhaircut.jpg/


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## LovnMyBoys (Jan 21, 2008)

He is adorable in both pictures, but I agree that would break my heart to see that hair cut off. This is coming from a mama of a 2.5 yr old boy who has never had a haircut and has really long hair, so I might be slightly more upset by the idea.


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## _betsy_ (Jun 29, 2004)

It's just hair, it'll grow back, Mama!

(Says the Mama of a 1-yr-old baldy, who know it's "just hair" and it'll grow in eventually, though I do wish it would hurry up already!)


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## JL83 (Aug 7, 2009)

I love the after pic. He's a real cutie.


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## josie423 (Jun 29, 2008)

Awww,







sorry, Mama! It'll grow back and he's still adorable!


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## Kailey's mom (Apr 19, 2007)

oooohhhh... My dh would be in so much trouble!!!!!!!!! **your son is just precious, in both pics btw** but messing with the baby curls, big trouble lol


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## alicia622 (May 8, 2005)

He does look very cute in the after pic so that's something at least. But yeah, I would be really bummed too. That said, it will grow back- not exactly but the same as baby hair, I know. Thankfully we have photos to remember


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## Gentle~Mommy :) (Apr 21, 2009)

He's looks great both ways!


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## Mylie (Mar 15, 2004)

I am sorry you lost his curls before you were ready though...I myself would be devestated if I lost my babies curls right now too..

Maybe it will grow back in curly?


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## queenjane (May 17, 2004)

It will grow back, trust me i know!

My baby before (looking miserable because his new foster sister was continually pulling his hair and biting him): http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3297/...6f40dfa2f8.jpg

I got sick of the hair pulling and also his tangles, i only intended on giving him a trim but kept going and going and going...and ended up with this:

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3621/...f13988d4b5.jpg

I kinda felt bad about it because he seemed to lose a bit of his "Keegan-ness" so we started growing it out again.

This is just about four months after it all got cut off, i dont have any recent pics but its alot longer now:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/queenja...95387/sizes/m/

So while i understand how upsetting it is, dont be too hard on your dh....hair really does just grow back.


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## StephandOwen (Jun 22, 2004)

Deep breath! It'll be okay, I promise! DS had long blond curls that I just LOVED. But, you know what? Even if your dh hadn't cut it that short kids will eventually grow and make their own decisions. I cut ds's curls at age 4 because they kept getting in his face when he was swimming. Just last week he asked me to "cut all my hair off mama". So I used the trimmers to cut it a little shorter. That wasn't good enough for him, and he insisted he wanted it ALL off. I cut a little more off, still not good enough. Now it's ALL off (as close to shaved as it gets without using an actual razor). In the course of 2 years my baby has gone from his beautiful blond curls to nothing. But he loves it the way it is


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## baltic_ballet (May 17, 2007)

To be honest I think your overreacting a bit, my nephew lost his baby hair whilst undergoing chemotherapy for cancer, maybe you should be grateful your son's has a silly daddy haircut instead of being bald and going through harsh medical treatment.


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## BeanSprout Mama (Mar 4, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *baltic_ballet* 
To be honest I think your overreacting a bit, my nephew lost his baby hair whilst undergoing chemotherapy for cancer, maybe you should be grateful your son's has a silly daddy haircut instead of being bald and going through harsh medical treatment.

That's kind of unfair. Just because someone else is going through something worse does not invalidate this mama's sadness about her baby's hair. We can all come up with someone who is worse off in pretty much any situation anyone posts about on any messageboard on the internet. I'm a nurse and I've seen some situations "worse" than a child with cancer, but that doesn't mean that your nephew does not deserve love and support and prayers. Does it?

OP, I'm really sorry. I would be really upset too, I adore my baby's hair and would be so sad if it was cut off - accidentally or otherwise!


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## baltic_ballet (May 17, 2007)

My apologies for sounding harsh, it wasn't my intention to belittle the OP feelings.


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## Purple*Lotus (Nov 1, 2007)

I am sorry Mama







I think your baby is beyond adorable in both pics







I hope your DH isn't in too much trouble


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## Purple*Lotus (Nov 1, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *baltic_ballet* 
To be honest I think your overreacting a bit, my nephew lost his baby hair whilst undergoing chemotherapy for cancer, maybe you should be grateful your son's has a silly daddy haircut instead of being bald and going through harsh medical treatment.


I am sorry to hear that your nephew is sick







However, I don't think it is fair to compare these two situations.


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## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

those first few haircuts are hard, especially with curls. FWIW, I think he still looks adorable with short hair.


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## jeliphish (Jul 18, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *baltic_ballet* 
To be honest I think your overreacting a bit, my nephew lost his baby hair whilst undergoing chemotherapy for cancer, maybe you should be grateful your son's has a silly daddy haircut instead of being bald and going through harsh medical treatment.

Not to be dismissive of the pain that your nephew is going through...but somewhere, and during some point in time, loved ones as well as perfect strangers are going through heartbreaking situations: cancer, famine, war, being sexually assaulted... etc, etc, etc.
It's true that you can bring up many situations that would make our "trivial" emotions seem unwarranted - but that's just not fair. It's not your place to tell this mama how to feel.... it's her emotions to have. I am sure she is grateful for her son not to have cancer - I would say all of us are grateful that are children are healthy, but that doesn't mean we need to bring that into consideration in order to have the right to feel a certain way.


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## ElliesMomma (Sep 21, 2006)

ouch.


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## Sierra (Nov 19, 2001)

Something similar happened in our family (one parent doing the haircut), and my son also lost his curls at about that age. His hair did grow back, but it never was exactly the same as those baby curls. It grew back, I don't know, with a big boy texture. However, my son is almost five and I assure you that the bummer was momentary in our lives. My son now chooses to wear his hair on the longish side. It's not that adorable baby hair, but it wouldn't be anyway, and it is really beautiful. People compliment his hair all that time, even when I think it is a dry, tangled mess.


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tigerchild* 
A few hours, maybe...but a few DAYS? Over a mistake that genuinely didn't endanger anyone?









I'm really glad that my partner doesn't give me glares and death looks and treat me angrily for days every time I make a mistake.

Hopefully that was a sarcastic comment. .

Yes, I was being facetious. And, I was supporting the OP. Litterally pouting around for a few days isn't going to make his hair grow back. But, It's OK for her to feel like that for a few days anyway.


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## Kirsten (Mar 19, 2002)

DARLING in both photos!!!!! My dd1 had those gorgeous baby curls too... They are sweet, but they don't last forever no matter how long you wait to cut/trim. I'd frame a special "curl showing" photo, and move on to the big kid haircut/look now.


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## Marsupialmom (Sep 28, 2003)

AWW!! Both pictures are cute.

You need to remember he isn't just your baby. He is your partner's child also.

It is ok to be upset, but your reaction is overboard. What if his reaction was the same over you keeping it longer? What if he didn't trust you becuase you kept it long.


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## Latte Mama (Aug 25, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Marsupialmom* 
AWW!! Both pictures are cute.

You need to remember he isn't just your baby. He is your partner's child also.

It is ok to be upset, but your reaction is overboard. What if his reaction was the same over you keeping it longer? What if he didn't trust you becuase you kept it long.

Huh? My reaction? My exact reaction was a few moments of sadness at the time it happened and asking DH why he cut it so short, we (together) had decided to only take a little off. I'll paraphrase but I said something like "what are you doing? I thought we said you weren't going to cut it so short?" (said with a touch of angst) because YES I was momentarily upset.

I'm not sure what you mean by him not trusting me if I kept it long? Him and I made the decision together to cut his hair. DH then used the wrong guide on the clipper and the first cut swiped a big ole swab of hair close to the scalp. The damage was done. In my OP I stated that I know he didn't mean to do it.

I'm not mad at DH. There were no glares, no harsh words exchanged. He's an awesome partner and Dad. I'm allowed to be a bit peeved at his mistake. He can certainly be peeved at mine too







. But even he agreed that he won't cut DS' hair again!

Just to add: It's not JUST about looks. DS and I have several little comfort rituals involving his hair and head rubs, he loves it and so do I. It's soothing to both of us. I will miss it







.
Remember, babydom doesn't last forever. When he gets older he may shun those little rituals, I want to enjoy all this stuff while we can.


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## Latte Mama (Aug 25, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nextcommercial* 
Yes, I was being facetious. And, I was supporting the OP. Litterally pouting around for a few days isn't going to make his hair grow back. But, It's OK for her to feel like that for a few days anyway.

Thank you, going to put on my pouty face and practice my super-duper death glare now







.
It's SO funny about how "it' just hair" because my DH has fairly long dreds. He would literally have a cow if someone cut anything on his head. A COW! He is so touchy about his hair.


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## shanniesue2 (Jul 4, 2007)

I know how you feel, OP. I recently had DS's curls cut off (mostly because it was tangling so easily and it really was causing him pain to get it to look halfway groomed). It's the second time I've had the curls cut off for that reason... and while I know it's not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, it's always a little sad to see the curls go. I







curly hair.


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## BaMo (Mar 19, 2006)

I've been there OP! My DH also did the first hair cut, without telling me. Goodbye beautiful curls. The curls have not really come back. And yes, I know there are worse things in the world than my DH cutting my son's hair off, but it still bugged me too.


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## HarperRose (Feb 22, 2007)

I don't understand why ppl think the OP is going overboard. She has her feelings and is entitled to them.

My youngest had some sweeeet little blonde curls. Oh, my little love!







He's my last baby, there is a 6 yr gap between him & my middle child, and he is MY BABY.

Here's his before pic

And a more recent pic, slightly blurry. (He's sitting with my niece.)

I CRIED when I took the first snip of his baby curls. CRIED!









Corny and weird? Yes. But he is my last child. I have severe health conditions that mean I can't have any more. I am doing my very best to enjoy him just as he is.

So being sad over his curls going is just how it goes.








Sorry your boy lost his curls before you expected.


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## BeanSprout Mama (Mar 4, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Needle in the Hay* 
There is nothing, no matter how horrible, that can make the situation of your child having cancer seem not so bad after all. You can't say the same about an accidental haircut where the kid isn't at all upset about it and he still looks pretty darn cute. So I think it was perfectly fine for someone to jump in and offer the OP some perspective. People in general do tend to worry and whine too much over trivial stuff. It doesn't mean they can't start a thread about it and get some support but keep in mind that some people reading are going through some tough times and might point out that it could be a whole lot worse.

You're absolutely right, there is NOTHING anyone could say to a mother whose child has cancer that could make her think it's not the worst thing in the entire universe. *Which is why I put "worse" in quotes.* Because it depends on your perspective. I don't doubt that a child having cancer, to the people who know and love that family, is the most horrific thing that could possibly EVER happen. That is fair and valid and true. If your husband was hit and killed by a drunk driver, that would be the worst thing you could possibly imagine happening. That is fair and valid and true. "the worst thing that could possibly happen" depends a lot on where you are in your life and what part you play in the situation and what other horrible things you've seen/experienced/lived through/heard of.

My "worst does not = your "worst" does not = anyone else's "worst." It completely depends on your perspective.

I still think it's an inappropriate response to the OP to basically say "well someone else has it worse so get over yourself and just be grateful that you aren't in this horrible situation I know of." It's unfair and dismissive and generally not called for.


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## anstar (Jan 25, 2008)

So sorry mama! My babies don't have curls, but it does take years for them to get their fine white locks in. I cried a little at each of their first haircuts. Can you save a lock in a card for his baby book? (or baby box, as mine is turning out to be







)

And I hope you don't take everyone else's discussions on how to be nice too personally. I know MDC works hard to be a place where everyone feels accepted and everyone's feelings are validated. If peeps want to hijack your thread to discuss the hows and how nots of being nice, I hope you still feel safe to share your feelings. They are valid, and you were not irrational. Irritated, obviously, but not irrational.


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## Bea (Apr 6, 2008)

OP, you know what i found to be funny about first haircuts?

How much even just a little trim up changes how baby looks (my sons first haircut was just a little tidy up around his ears...he had these 'wings') and how it does make you sad but this is the funny part.

For all the negative emotions associated with his first proper trim, in a few months once his hair was all back to normal and still growing, I found myself thinking "that boy needs a haircut"









My mental image of him was now connected with a tidier look rather than a permanent curly bed head. He's 2.5 now, and needs a haircut as usual.


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## queenjane (May 17, 2004)

Quote:

"the worst thing that could possibly happen" depends a lot on where you are in your life and what part you play in the situation and what other horrible things you've seen/experienced/lived through/heard of.
Once i was discussing childhoods with a friend of mine, years ago, and said that i knew mine wasn't nearly as bad as many people and i probably have nothing to complain about, and he made the point that "The worst thing that has ever happened to you is still the worst thing that has ever happened to YOU" even if your "worst" doesnt compare to someone else's "worst"....it still sucks for you.

And of course the OP wasnt even saying this is the worst thing for her, just that she is sad, and she has every right to feel that way for a bit.

When my oldest son was about two yrs old he had these long gorgeous bouncy red curls....he regularly got mistaken for a girl, he was just so beautiful. One day i took him to the barber and got it all cut off to a nice little haircut, i didnt even save any of it or take pics cuz i dont tend to get emotional over hair. But when my mom saw him (she was the only one my son would allow to actually brush his hair), she almost cried. Because he clearly went from "baby" to "boy" with that haircut. So, for most people who get sad about this, i assume its more about "losing your baby" (even though you arent really) then about the hair. That same son of mine is now 13 yrs old, and a year or two ago went from having long beautiful hair that was the envy of girls everywhere, to shaving his head, and he just doesnt seem like the same kid. I miss his hair. Not because i necessarily miss is HAIR though i do a little, but what that represented in his personality which has now changed.


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## Heavenly (Nov 21, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Latte Mama* 
So my DS had his first haircut today at home. Why at home? Oh because DH swore that he could do it just fine







. I told him not to take too much off.

So I was filming it when DH made the first cut. OMG, he cut ALL the way to the scalp! I think I died a little







. He said he didn't mean to do it and I know that's true but it still made me sad. Of course, the rest had to be cut the same way because the damage was done. I knew we should have went to a barber shop.

*He will never touch my baby's hair again*.

Pics below.

Before:

http://img195.imageshack.us/i/ecurls.jpg/

After:

http://img195.imageshack.us/i/enewhaircut.jpg/

It's HIS baby too! I understand you are upset but he didn't mean to do it and I think you are making too big a deal out of it. It is hair, it will grow back.


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## Latte Mama (Aug 25, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *shanniesue2* 
. and while I know it's not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, it's always a little sad to see the curls go. I







curly hair.

Exactly! I just miss his curls, that's all.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaMo* 
And yes, I know there are worse things in the world than my DH cutting my son's hair off, but it still bugged me too.









Many worse things, but I was still bugged







!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HarperRose* 
I don't understand why ppl think the OP is going overboard. She has her feelings and is entitled to them.


Thanks mama, and your little boy is just darling







.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BeanSprout Mama* 

My "worst does not = your "worst" does not = anyone else's "worst." It completely depends on your perspective.

.

Great line. My mom and I were just talking about this (completely unrelated to the haircut thing of course).

Quote:


Originally Posted by *anstar* 
So sorry mama! My babies don't have curls, but it does take years for them to get their fine white locks in. I cried a little at each of their first haircuts. Can you save a lock in a card for his baby book? (or baby box, as mine is turning out to be







)

And I hope you don't take everyone else's discussions on how to be nice too personally. I know MDC works hard to be a place where everyone feels accepted and everyone's feelings are validated. If peeps want to hijack your thread to discuss the hows and how nots of being nice, I hope you still feel safe to share your feelings. They are valid, and you were not irrational. Irritated, obviously, but not irrational.









Oh yes, I saved a nice curly lock for the baby book







. I'm good with how the discussion went, a bit perplexed but good.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Bea* 
OP, you know what i found to be funny about first haircuts?

How much even just a little trim up changes how baby looks
l.

Yes! My baby looks so different to me now!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *queenjane* 
Once i was discussing childhoods with a friend of mine, years ago, and said that i knew mine wasn't nearly as bad as many people and i probably have nothing to complain about, and he made the point that "The worst thing that has ever happened to you is still the worst thing that has ever happened to YOU" even if your "worst" doesnt compare to someone else's "worst"....it still sucks for you.

And of course the OP wasnt even saying this is the worst thing for her, just that she is sad, and she has every right to feel that way for a bit.

.

Very, very true. Our experiences are OURS. And of course you're right, this is by no means even close to the worst thing, just a vent!
Heck, I might be peevd if someone cut way too much of my hair off too. And like I said in another post, DH would fall over in a faint if anything EVER happened to his hair







.
I'm over it and waiting patiently for DS' hair to grow.


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## mrspineau (Jan 15, 2008)

your husband probably feels pretty bad about it and you should try to be on the bright side about it. It's only hair, it will grow back, your baby is absolutely precious in both pictures..... in fact, you'll probably be suprised at how quickly it comes back.


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## CallMeMommy (Jun 15, 2005)

Mad props to you for not busting out in tears right there, because that's totally what I would have done! I've got a curly-head, too (this was about 6 months ago, they're even longer now).


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