# tribe for large families/mamas of many kids?



## PancakeGoddess (Oct 8, 2004)

Is there a subforum or a tribe for big families? Just had my 4th, and I know there are many bigger families here but this FEELS like it just got officially "big."


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## PancakeGoddess (Oct 8, 2004)

?


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## PancakeGoddess (Oct 8, 2004)

wow, I guess the rest of you are busy taking care of all those kids


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## Mama~Love (Dec 8, 2003)

That sure would be nice!! I'd join!


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

There are actually quite a few large families here.

I'm one of them!







Can you tell?

Don't know if you are Quiverfull, but there is a tribe for being QF.

But if not, we can have a large family tribe. I do wish there were a forum just for us, though. There are many issues that are linked specifically to large families.


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## mommaof3 (Dec 11, 2001)

I'm in!


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## PancakeGoddess (Oct 8, 2004)

Well, I'll just keep bumping bc I know they're out there. Here's a question:

what do you drive? Even our minivan is less than ideal, now, because I can't even transport two of my kids' friends unless one sits in the front seat.


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## SoggyGranolaMomma (Feb 28, 2005)

Shoot, we have 5 and the minivan was fine with 4 but now, jeez.

I do NOT want to graduate to a minibus.







:

We have 1 in a car seat, 2 in boosters and 2 in shoulder belts. There are only 4 shoulder belt in the back though, so once the baby (10 months) is out of a car seat, we're screwed.

We need something with 5 rear shoulder belts which I can't seem to find.







: The only thing I've found is a Suburban, which I also dread driving but we will likely convert it to a grease car.









Unless anyone knows of any minivans with 5 rear shoulder belt.

Oh, and I'd join a big family group.


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## Finding Serenity (Aug 10, 2005)

I'm so in! I'm expecting #7 this October. We have a Dodge Caravan--only holds 7 and a Suburban that holds 8. We will outgrow the Suburban with our Oct. baby! I've seen ads for 4th seats that can be installed in the SUVS so we'll have to go that route since I can't see buying one of the huge passenger vans when there's an alternative. The Surburban stinks with gas and I don't even drive it anymore but we need it for family outings/vacations and we tow a travel trailer with it. I think our Suburban has only 4 rear shoulder belts, the middle seats have lap belts only. Ours is a 2002 model so maybe things have changed.


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## mclisa (Jul 26, 2004)

We're expecting #4. DH would love even more than that so he is so not allowed to know about about all of you!

1. Anyone else's extended families think they are nuts for having so many kids???

2. would love more input on what you drive. We have the honda odyssey currently and it will work great when we add #4. I'm not sure what we'd do if he talked me into more. It's interesting that someone brought up the issue of friends. My sil stayed at 2 kids with one of the reasons that she didn't want to upgrade from her pilot just so she could bring friends home (and many other reasons too).

3. Who do we petition to get our own thread? I think that is a great idea! I know I could learn so much from all of you!


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## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

hello hello

I posted on the pregnant moms of many in the pregnancy forum a while back but no-one's posting there now. Our ds1 is 13, ds2 9 and dd is 3. We are expecting number 4 - maybe next week and are about to hit car trouble







:

We have two cars - one 10 year old Renault Savanna with 7 seats and a Citroen Xantia estate with only 5 seats and a massive boot which we panic bought cheaply when the Renault blew a spark plug out of the top of the engine!!!!!

The Renault is perfect for 6 but has some (expensive) problems which mean it won't pass its MOT (legal safety requirements here in the UK) which is due in 4 weeks time. The Citroen is in the garage having a new gearbox which had to be imported from France and once that's done it will drive like a dream and dh loves it because it has aircon.

So in 4 weeks we will have one 5 seat car and an illegal 7 seat car that is no use to man nor beast - and an invitation to Dh's niece's christening 40 miles away eeeeek!

I would love a Honda Odyssey and have been looking at them for a while now but we just don't have the money to buy one and I wasn't banking on the Renault becoming uneconomically poorly right now.

These practical problems and the fact that we have only 2 bedrooms are the main reasons our extended families think we are crazy!

Nice to meet you all
Rachel


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

I have the seven children, and my DH and I. We outgrew our Dodge Caravan years ago. We now have a Ford 15 passanger van. It is WONDERFUL for space. And I love that I am bigger than most anything on the road. It is built like a tank. The down side is the gas mileage. Which, with gas prices the way they are, we can't afford to drive it around much. I am hoping to get another "smaller" vehicle (a 7 or 8 passanger) with better gas mileage for short trips with some of the children. My DH does have a work car, that is falling apart, but at least he can drive it to work and leave me with the van.

As for what my family thinks....They thougth I was smart when I had my first and did not have a baby for 4 years.
Then they thought I was OK, because everyone can afford to have two.
Then they thought I was "complete" because I had "finally" gotten my boy.
Then they thought I was a little strange for having four.
Then they thougth I was crazy for having five.
Then they thought I was really insaine for having six.
Then they thought I was beyond saving for having seven.
They never knew about our eighth.
And when we have our ninth, I am sure they will stop sending gifts to the children, they already say it's too expensive!









But they really do love us, they just don't understand us.


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## SoggyGranolaMomma (Feb 28, 2005)

Pssshh my parents are the same way. They thought we were fine with one child.

Then I had my second and that was ok because most people have two.

Then I got divorced, they didn't talk to me for 3 months.

I got remarried, when I was pregnant. That was sorta ok because my husband had never had kids, so ONE was acceptable.

Then we got pregnant again and I was "gross".







: I had a boy and they figured we HAD to be done because I finally "got" the boy.

Then with the 5th, I was "disgusting" they were "disappointed".

Ahh well. Can't please everyone right?


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## Mama~Love (Dec 8, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PancakeGoddess*
Well, I'll just keep bumping bc I know they're out there. Here's a question:

what do you drive? Even our minivan is less than ideal, now, because I can't even transport two of my kids' friends unless one sits in the front seat.

We have a Oldsmobile Silhouette minivan that seats 8, as well as a Suburban that seats 8. There's only 4 shoulder belts in the rear seats of them. I'm so glad we found that van, because I did NOT want to be driving the Suburban around! I wanted one of those big 15 passenger vans to drive only when we needed to go places as a group. I'd still have the van when it's me & the kids.

DH says this baby is the last







. I'm still trying to process that news. We'll see. Luckily, no one has ever said anything to my face about having lots of kids, but I'm sure there's lots of talk behind my back.


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## Finding Serenity (Aug 10, 2005)

I suppose overall, my parents have been very tolerant of my larger family size. They thought I was done with 6 kids and they were actually quite thrilled and excited with each one up through #6. It was my latest pregnancy that threw the balance off. I don't think my Mom was too thrilled with the news--the babies will only be 14 months apart. She'll be fine once she sees the new baby. My Dad on the other hand did congratulate me on #7and both of them are supportive of my decision to homebirth. My Mom thinks I'm running my body down with all the ebf and pregnancy. She keeps pushing for a hysterectomy.







:







: I don't even take an aspirin after childbirth, so yeah, I'm really going to plan for invasive life changing surgery. Truth be told, I've never been, felt or looked healthier in my life. We are completely divorced from DH's family, they don't even know about DD, 6th child and we have no other family on my side that we're involved with. I suppose it's easier this way than to have negative, insulting people throwing around their contempt for our lifestyle.


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## MysticMoon (Feb 13, 2006)

if 4 counts for large family then I'm here lol
ok not offically until Feb. when the new one comes


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## kiwimumtomykidz (Jul 27, 2005)

I'm here









I'm a mummy to five daughters! Some of my family think it's great, others think we are crazy -- but we don't care, we love big families


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## Europeanmom (May 7, 2005)

Subbing.

What are the two greatest pleasures of having many kids?
And what do you think are the two greatest challenges?

My list:
1+
My kids will have many lifelong friends (yes, I know I'm naive, but I really think they will be each others' network)







:
2+
Living together with so many and so different people









1-
Laundry!







:
2-
Finances. But then I could also see this as a blessing, because I have learnt so much about stretching the penny


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## Europeanmom (May 7, 2005)

Oh, I forgot to introduce myself. Mom of four boys, age 10, 8, 5 and 9mo


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## Bethbyrne (Jul 11, 2005)

I have 7. Youngest born in June this year and oldest is 16. They are all boys and I am not having any more for medical reasons. If one more person asks me if I was trying for the girl I will become upset and angry!!
Love having a big group as I was an only child and hated it.
I have an 8 seater Nissan Serena, japanese import and am okay as long as my husband stays at home!!!
I would hate a minibus though. I have seen her in Ireland that Renault will do a factory converted Traffic (van) which is a 9 seater but it is seriously expensive.

Kate


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Welcome to the tribe, all you new faces!

Europeanmom, I like your questions. So here are my answers:

*What are the two greatest pleasures of having many kids?*
1) Coming home to a house full of laughter.
2) Knowing that there will always be someone there, no matter what. Hey, family is family!

I just had to add: holding that new life in your arms and watching it grow, and being able to do this over and over again!









*And what do you think are the two greatest challenges?*
1) Keeping track of all their varried likes and dislikes.
2) Laundry!


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## 7kiddosmom (Feb 18, 2005)

Wanted to join here. We are a family that has 7 children and our 8th is due in Feb.

2 best things:

1. there is always a playmate
2. We don't need giant birthday parties, we ARE the party!

2 challenges:

1. LAUNDRY and DISHES
2. Negative comments from people


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## AngelBee (Sep 8, 2004)

Expecting #4









We are quiverfull and open to having as many kids as God has in store for us.

I am definantly sick of the negative comments. I do not understand how people are even comfortable saying such things. Most of it is so hurtful.









I look forward to getting to know you all


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## hlivengo (Mar 25, 2006)

We have 10 so far, so I'm in. We drive a GMC Safari, so we don't all fit at the same time. I usually get my sister, a neighbor or my mom to bring kids somewhere if we need to all be there. We have a 2 yr old daughter with spina bifida, so I also need room for her wheelchair stander-so I lose 2 seats that way, because the back of the van doesn't even open. We desperately need a bigger vehicle, but as you might guess, we have NO money, and no way to get one.

We've got an even split with boys/girls.


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## queenofhercastle (Jun 19, 2006)

I'm definitely in!

I'm expecting #5 in January. I have 2 boys, 3 and 5½ and 8½ yr old twin girls. And I love big families!


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## kiwimumtomykidz (Jul 27, 2005)

This is cool









2 Positive things
* Always someone around to talk too
* Always some action

2 Negative things
* All the LAUNDRY!!
* The MESS!!

With two kids I could keep on top of the housework -- now it's on top of me









I found it hard to narrow it down to only two positives ....

Some other positives were:
* Always a play mate
* Lots of laughter
* Plenty of helpers (not always willing ones though







)

* lots of ideas for games because others have different ideas (a positive from my 9yo daughter







)


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## hawkfeather (Jan 18, 2005)

I am at five now! 3 girls 2 boys.

I am pretty proud of the fact that i odn't own a vehicle.. although I dirve my mum's van more than i wish. Up until expecting baby 5 i had no vehicle and i really preffered it. My mum has a mini van we use- seats 7 which is exactly us!

My family doesn't share theri reactions to me, but i can kind of hear it echoing ya know? I remember theri reaction to a distant cousin with five, and it was all negative. people will off handidly say are you DONE???, and i stopped getting congratulations inplace of OMG about 2 babies ago.

In fact i think people's reaction prevents me from havign an evenlarger family! i get asked how many fathers my children have, if they were planned?. things that re no one's buisness at all.

I am not Catholic, not a school marm..I just love my babies!!!!


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## hawkfeather (Jan 18, 2005)

2 best things..
my kids have learned so beautifully how to work with others.
They have friends- always.

worst things..
sheer volume.
perhaps not enough alone time??


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hawkfeather*
i get asked how many fathers my children have, if they were planned?. things that re no one's buisness at all.

I get that all the time. "Are they ALL yours!?!"..."yes, all mine."..."All from the same father?"..."Yes, all from my HUSBAND"..."Well, that's an accomplishment!"


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## shell024 (May 21, 2005)

just a lurking wannabe here!







:







:


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## 7kiddosmom (Feb 18, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kidzaplenty*
I get that all the time. "Are they ALL yours!?!"..."yes, all mine."..."All from the same father?"..."Yes, all from my HUSBAND"..."Well, that's an accomplishment!"









I get this ALL the time. Like I would really haul 7 kids that weren't mine all to the grocery store just for a gallon of milk.









I always get asked how old I am too. I will be 32 tomorrow. I don't think I look terribly young, but I know I have a very girly voice so maybe that is it.

Oh, we drive a suburban. When dh is with us we are one seat short. When the new baby arrives I don't know what we are going to do. I don't want to get something new, we paid cash for the 'burban and it is so nice not to have a car payment. I have heard that there is an optional 4th row seat for them, but haven't checked into as of yet.

Hope everyone has a GREAT, JOYFUL day!

Kasey


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## queenofhercastle (Jun 19, 2006)

OMG!

I can't believe the question people have the nerve to ask? I get asked all the time if they're all mine but no one's _ever_ asked me if they all have the same father. Now that's just crossing the line! Of course, it could be because they all look just alike.


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## 7kiddosmom (Feb 18, 2005)

My children all look alike and they look nothing like me. Maybe that is why I get asked if they are mine.

Here are some pictures of the kids w/ dh.

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y12...m/S4020846.jpg

And my boy boys (my oldest ds used to call him and his baby brother that and it has stuck)

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y12...m/S4020841.jpg


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## queenofhercastle (Jun 19, 2006)

Wow! That is one big, beautiful family! And a very proud papa! He must have a blast with those kids.


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## 7kiddosmom (Feb 18, 2005)

Thank you. He (as well as I) have a BLAST with the kids. We have several pictures with all the kids sitting on his back. It is fun to look at those pictures through the years as we add children.


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

You do have a beautiful family! And they do look alike. I like that, when the children all look alike.

My children also all look alike. It is like an aged picture, from toddlerhood to teenager! It is amazing how alike they look and that we STILL get the question about Daddy!







:


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

I forgot. Here is a new picture of all my children taken at the fair last week.

Holly Children at KY ST Fair


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## kiwimumtomykidz (Jul 27, 2005)

People can be so rude! We've often been asked if we know what causes it ... should see them blush when we say, "YES, and we LOVE it!"
















Here is a pic of me and the girls taken a few weeks ago!
http://www.xanga.com/kiwimumtomykidz...ater-play.html


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## Nursingnaturalmom (Jan 1, 2003)

This is a great thread!!
We have 4 girls, 8.5,4,2.5 and 3 weeks today!!
I've always wanted a big family, but the last couple of days, I don't feel like the best mommy equipped for a big family. I"m sleep deprived and short of patience.







: I'm hoping as my sleep increases, so will my patience LOL Anyone else go through that sleep deprivaton/no patience with a new born??

As far as family:
My DH's family hasn't said anything.
My Mom, who was/is a single mom and only had me, asked me with number 4 "Is this the last one?"
On a different occassion she said "Don't you DARE think about a 5th. YOU don't have room for 5"







:

We aren't quiverful, per se, but my DH WILL NOT do anything permanent to prevent a pregnancy. When asked "So, what if we have 10 kids, and he said, then we end up with 10 kids. We are just taking it one baby at a time









Chandi


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## kriskriskris (Aug 18, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *shell024*
just a lurking wannabe here!







:







:









Me Too!!!


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## hawkfeather (Jan 18, 2005)

yeah the best question so far.."don't you know about safe sex..."..









people ask my age all the time as well.. I am 29 with five kids. I never think of my family s big- people seem to see my kids as a unit of some kind, but i can't help but just see each of them. I hear *you must be busy* everyday, and no i am not, I do not think of my family as work- it is just my life.


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## MamaTaraX (Oct 5, 2004)

I can't wait to have a fourth so I can join this tribe!
(big family wannabe, current mama to three hoping for more!)
I love love love big families and wish there were more of them these days









Namaste, Tara


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## queenofhercastle (Jun 19, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hawkfeather*
I never think of my family s big- people seem to see my kids as a unit of some kind, but i can't help but just see each of them. I hear *you must be busy* everyday, and no i am not, I do not think of my family as work- it is just my life.

Same here. I don't think of raising my kids as work either. I not only love my kids but I like being around them. They're so much fun and they make me laugh all the time!

It is work and I am busy but why does that have to be a bad thing? Any work that you enjoy doesn't feel like work at all.


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## JessC (Jul 5, 2006)

Well, I'm pregnant with my 5th... only 2 living children (well,3, counting the new human bean







: )
But I do want a big family.... basically QF. I love hearing all your input. It's so great.
Most people around here consider 3 kids a big family, and they gripe about how expensive it is, and how the kids fight, etc. VERY good to hear that it can be fun!


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## AngelBee (Sep 8, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JessC*
Well, I'm pregnant with my 5th... only 2 living children (well,3, counting the new human bean







: )
But I do want a big family.... basically QF. I love hearing all your input. It's so great.
Most people around here consider 3 kids a big family, and they gripe about how expensive it is, and how the kids fight, etc. VERY good to hear that it can be fun!

I spend way less then most of the mamas with two in my area.









That comment always drives me nuts!


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## 7kiddosmom (Feb 18, 2005)

I agree we spend less than most people do on one or two children. My kids son't have a lot of "stuff" and the older girls take good care of their clothes so we are able to pass them down and share. We do spend more on groceries, but it isn't a crazy amount.

I think that if the kids were in PS it would probably be more expensive. As of now we are homeschooling. I can't imagine buying backpacks, school supplies and clothes for my 5 that would be in school this year. I bought a few things while they were on sale but not nearly as much as if I had to buy for each child. They learn to share very well.


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## mommyto4grits (May 26, 2006)

I have 4 girls, and I am definatley in! I am an only child, so my parents totally think we're nuts. I really never thought of having a big family, but now I could definately see having a few more. I get the same rude [email protected]@p from people... Are they all yours, Are you done, Don't you want a boy, 4 girls WOW, Oh My G**!

Like it would be any different if they were all boys or boys and girls. People are so rude. I would never ask something like that, ...
I drive an '06 Toyota Sienna and all the seatbelts have shoulder belts. It is so great to know there are so many other large family's out there!
Some of the great things...
Built in playmate
Having someone to help out (I agree though not always willingly)
The joy of watching these little babies grow and become little people
The not so great things...
Laundry
Laundry
Dishes
Oh and Laundry!


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## forty's_wifey (Aug 1, 2006)

New here! Mama of 4 and soon to be 5 in october. My mother threatened to cut my husbands thing off if i dont get my tubes tied! Im young, so she wasnt ok with any of them, until they got here then she loved them to pieces.

I take the bus, i dont have a car or minivan LOL and lemme tell ya catchin the bus with all these kids is NOT a fun time. But i do what i gotta do!

I love having a big family, and i love my kids love eachother so much and they are so close and are so loving to eachother, with the exception of fighting over toys, they are so good to eachother, and i know when they get older they will benefit from having a big, close, loving family.


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## Nursingnaturalmom (Jan 1, 2003)

NAKing....

mommyto4grits,
We just had our 4th girl 3.5 weeks ago and we get the "oh 4 girls??? Have fun in the teen years". Yeah, whatever! LOL I love having all girls and hope to have a couple more girls.
I'm also an only child and my Mom just doesn't understand why I have all these kids. I"m not sure when 4 got to be "all these kids".

Chandi


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## mommyto4grits (May 26, 2006)

Congratulations on your newest girl! My daughter has a friend named Aubrey, I love it, you don't hear it to often.
That does drive me crazy, oh 4 girls and the irls part seems to be long and drawn out as in "oh, 4 girrrlzzz". What is the big deal? And what really gets me is they say it in front of my kids.
What are people thinking!
Congrats again!


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## kiwimumtomykidz (Jul 27, 2005)

We get that too - with five girls .... although I've noticed that it's recently changed to "aren't you glad they aren't all BOYS!" We'll no, I wouldn't mind either way really!


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## kimmom (Sep 7, 2006)

We are expecting number 4 for me and 5 for hubby sometime in the spring don't know the dates yet.. This is the first time we have waited to tell people for the first 3 mons.. Mainly due to their reactions. "Oh my should I say Congrats!" "What are you going to do?" "Trying for that boy are you??". It is amazing how people just say those things and in front of my kids!! I get are they all yours and I am not showing yet! I haven't told my mom because she has been lecturing me on not having any more! We are thrilled.. Anyone else have their kids close together? We will have 4 under 5 for a few months until our oldest turns 5.. Glad to find this foum, I am new to it!!


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## maof5 (Oct 22, 2005)

Hello, it is nice to see there are more larger families out there. You hardly ever see more then 3 kids and that seems like a big family, we are just sick







We had our 1st ds in 93 and waited 4 yrs. before dd. Then 5 yrs. later we were in a better financial position and said "lets have one more." We'll my dd's were 6 years apart and "I" thought maybe we should have ONE more so she wouldn't feel like a sort of only child growing up. I just happened to get pregnant a little quicker than I wanted and they were only 15 months apart. So we made an appt. for dh to get the big snip snip. He had to work late that night and missed the appt.







and low and behold 14 months later came my little Miyah







but before my little angel was born, I took him to the dr. my self when I was 8 mo. pregnant and pushed him out of the car and didn't let him back in until he was finished with his date with the scissors. I did feel sort of like an elephant with the whole pregnant for 3 years thing.

When I told my oldest son about our 3rd daughter it was exciting and he cut the cord (home/waterbirth) Then we told him about the 4th he was just like OKAY that's alot of kids! Then I sat him down and told him about the 5th and he just shook his head and just looked at me and said "How did this happen???" I asked him if he really wanted to know and he promptly said "NO that's fine!"
Now my pumpkin is 15 months and tonight my oldest said "She is soooo cute and sweet" "I couldn't imagine life without her!"
I never thought I would have a family this big but it is the best thing in the WORLD! I can honestly say I LOVE it! It can be crazy at times but over all it's great. By the way, we drive a ford excursion (seats 8) and we absolutely love it! Terrible on gas mileage though (11 miles to the gallon







: )


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## queenofhercastle (Jun 19, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Nursingnaturalmom*
NAKing....

mommyto4grits,
I"m not sure when 4 got to be "all these kids".

I know! Even before I had kids I never thought of 4 kids as a lot. My goodness, when I had 3 people said I had "a lotta kids." I just don't understand that. I grew up in 3 kid family and it did _not_ feel big to me!


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## cfiddlinmama (May 9, 2006)

kimmom - I had 4 under 5 for one month. My oldest turned 5 when my baby was 1 month old! It's fun! (ok not all the time, but mostly!) I love how close my kids are and how much they love each other. We only have one bathroom and right now all 4 are in there! My dd1 wants that toilet and the boys are washing their feet in the bathtub and the baby is just gettting in on the action!







: I think it's funny that people think 4 is a big family. I come from 10 living (5 mc and my brother's twin died at 5 months gestation.) My husband comes from 11. I swear 10 doesn't even feel that big! My mom only has 5 at home and it seems so small! She even drives a minivan now! It's weird! I think it's cool for parents like us to have lots of kids, it means their will be more AP parents in the generation to come and a lot less criminals! Yay for us!


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## queenofhercastle (Jun 19, 2006)

I love to hear about people who grew up in large families deciding to have large families themselves. It means that they had a great experience growing up and they want to give their kids the same thing. That's wonderful.









For a while I was worried because a lot of people I knew who grew up in big families only had 2 kids or no kids. Made me wonder what was so bad about their childhood. Now these were not people from my generation but my parents' generation. But it's great to know that my generation had positive experiences in their big families.


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## 7kiddosmom (Feb 18, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *queenofhercastle*
I love to hear about people who grew up in large families deciding to have large families themselves. It means that they had a great experience growing up and they want to give their kids the same thing. That's wonderful.









For a while I was worried because a lot of people I knew who grew up in big families only had 2 kids or no kids. Made me wonder what was so bad about their childhood. Now these were not people from my generation but my parents' generation. But it's great to know that my generation had positive experiences in their big families.

I think that our parents and grandparents generations became more focused on income and many women went to work. Babies and family were put on the back burner and career and status were much more important.


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## mommaduck (Sep 13, 2005)

(checks the number of hearts in her siggy) Yep! I've got enough


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## magentamomma (Mar 18, 2004)

We arre pregnant with our fourth and already having some of our family and friends think we are crazy. They also assume this will/must be our last right!?! I am not dead or menapausal so I cannot guaruntee any thing LOL DH and I both want a big family but I do realize we are entering the place where it will be harder to get invitations to dinner or to be a house guest any where. Plus the car thing we only have one car so if my husband is working I have to rely on friends and it has gotten way to complicated to transport. Oh well My girls are alittle sad that we can't take their friends with us places.


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## queenofhercastle (Jun 19, 2006)

Welcome and congratulations on #4 magentamomma! No one here will tell you you're crazy, that's for sure!


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

magentamomma, Congratulations on your future arrival!









When we were having four, we got a lot of the same "it'll be your last" stuff too, but after three more, we no longer get that!







Now we just get, "Not Again!"


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## ibahippiemama (Aug 24, 2003)

Greetings mamas, I'm Angie, a mom to 9 kidlets. Yes, I was an only child for about 11years. Some days it is really hard doing the things that I need to do, like the laundry. But for the most part, I love being the mommy of such great kids. Dh is the nutter that wants more, I'm not so sure. I hope that we can keep this thread alive or at least have one started on a regular basis. Oh, BTW, I still don't drive. Hoping to start again soon.

angie


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## TwelveOaks (Sep 5, 2006)

Hello everyone! I saw the title of this thread and thought,"Ok, that sounds like where I would fit in!"

We have 10 kids and #11 is due next month. It will be 7 girls and 4 boys then!

My dh grew up in a large family but with me it was just myself and an older sister so having lots of kids was an adjustment for me. It just keeps getting better and better, though!

I'm loving this thread. It is soo nice to hear of other large families!


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## queenofhercastle (Jun 19, 2006)

How old was everyone when they had their first child (or children in my case)?

I was 24 when I had my twins. I'm 33 now.


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## veggijessie (Aug 21, 2006)

I don't fit into the big famiy yet but we will soon! I am pg with our third and we are working on adoption of a sib group so we could have 5-6 in the next year!

I just wanted to respond to the car issue. We just bought a limo! It sounds crazy but it is so much fun. It holds 9 total and all sholder belts, gets 18-20mpg. It has dark tinted windows (no sun in the eyes) and the front and back have seperate AC, heat, and sterios, but I have master controls, and it is so comfortable to drive! Best of all limos are cheap to buy because once they are a few years old noone wants them! When we out-grow this one we will just get a 12-17 person!

We might be crazy but we travel in style!!!


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *veggijessie*
We might be crazy but we travel in style!!!

















:

About my age. I was 19 when I gave birth to my first, I was 35 when I had my last one (not my "last" baby, I hope).


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## kiwimumtomykidz (Jul 27, 2005)

VeggiJessie -- how cool to drive a limo!! You must get some looks!

About my age -- I was 28 when my first was born and 37 when we had the last so far









Having 5 children sounds like a small family on this thread


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## 7kiddosmom (Feb 18, 2005)

I was 18 when I had my first and I just turned 32 a little over a week ago.

COOL a LIMO!! I have never riden in a limo before!


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

We only have three kids of our own. We also have a roommate with two kids where the mom is rarely home (she seems to always take jobs that are a two hour bus ride away, so she has a 12 hour workday). And I do childcare here.


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## kyndmamaof4 (Jul 25, 2006)

Hi all, We are a family of 6. DH and I and 4 kids. 3 boys







: and finally a girl







DH and I are both only children, so it was really important for us to have a big family. (not big by the standards on this thread







but big for us onlys) I couldn't imagine life with out my kids. We are having issues with cars too. We have a station wagon, and a cherokee, but they only seat 5 so we never go anywhere all toghther







But on the bright side my father is an automotive recycler and he is getting us hooked up with a recycled minivan. I am so excited I actually got really lucky, since the van is a luxury edition, with a tv and heated seats and all the things a family of 6 just can't normally afford on a only one paycheck. On the downside I have been waiting for it for 7 months.

I was 19 when I had my first, and am now 26.

I also get "Are they all yours?" " On the other hand, we also get nicer comments like " OH so many helpers, aren't you lucky." Definatly subbin to this one.

Later yall, Kaara


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## cfiddlinmama (May 9, 2006)

I was 16 when I had my 1st and 21 when I had my 4th! I love being young and having the energy and craziness to have loads of fun with my kids! Also, I can remember my childhood so well it helps me to view things from my kids' perspective. It's totally cool! (except for the nasty comments. Oh well.) We drive a Ford Windstar and have room for one more. I love the limo idea! Maybe I can talk dh into it!


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## queenofhercastle (Jun 19, 2006)

What are some fun things you all do with your kids? Especially the older ones.

My mom didn't do a lot of fun stuff with us growing up so I don't have her example to draw from. She was a single mom so I'm sure that had something to do with it. Part of it was her personality. She was very serious. And got more and more so as we got older. Trying to keep us in line, I guess. Although we did do some fun activities occasionally.

I want to be more consisent with my kids, though. It's easier with the younger ones (3 and 5½) but I'm at a loss with my 8yo twins. You can only play so many card games.

Any ideas?


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## magentamomma (Mar 18, 2004)

Iwas 22 when our twins were born and 29 now. For 2 1/2 years dh and I tried to get pregnant I had an every three years plan. After a year I thought we were infertal Finnally just when I had come to terms with no more babies we got pregnant with this one. I feel so blessed. I fantasize about six, but four is fine if that is all we ever get.


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## MysticMoon (Feb 13, 2006)

Welcome to all the new mamas









Now to answer some of the questions posed









Hubby & I both only have an older sister
I've always wanted a bigger family & hubby finally started
agreeing after #3 lol he says his limit is 6








I plan to listen to my body & intution on when I'm done.

I had my 1st when I was 18, turned 19 a few weeks later.
I was 23 for my 2nd
27 (5 days shy of 28) with my 3rd.
will be 32 when new one arrives =)

The biggest reason we don't have more already is because for whatever
reason we take awhile to conceive. My plan was to have my kids
2.5 years apart. Instead their all 4-5 years apart (including #3
& one on the way) lol


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## AngelBee (Sep 8, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *magentamomma*
We arre pregnant with our fourth and already having some of our family and friends think we are crazy. They also assume this will/must be our last right!?! I am not dead or menapausal so I cannot guaruntee any thing LOL DH and I both want a big family but I do realize we are entering the place where it will be harder to get invitations to dinner or to be a house guest any where. Plus the car thing we only have one car so if my husband is working I have to rely on friends and it has gotten way to complicated to transport. Oh well My girls are alittle sad that we can't take their friends with us places.

Congrats!


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## AngelBee (Sep 8, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *queenofhercastle*
How old was everyone when they had their first child (or children in my case)?

I was 24 when I had my twins. I'm 33 now.

I was 22 (that day actually) when I had Dominick


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## AngelBee (Sep 8, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TwelveOaks*
Hello everyone! I saw the title of this thread and thought,"Ok, that sounds like where I would fit in!"

We have 10 kids and #11 is due next month. It will be 7 girls and 4 boys then!

My dh grew up in a large family but with me it was just myself and an older sister so having lots of kids was an adjustment for me. It just keeps getting better and better, though!

I'm loving this thread. It is soo nice to hear of other large families!









You def fit in!


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## AngelBee (Sep 8, 2004)

Honestly, I wish we had a large family forum here.

There are so many times I have questions that I would like to direct at mamas of many. In tribes they sometimes get lost plus are harder to search for later.


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

I was 16 when I had my first and 21 when I had my third.


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## 7kiddosmom (Feb 18, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *queenofhercastle*
What are some fun things you all do with your kids? Especially the older ones.

We are homeschooling so some of these things of course would be easier than if you have kids in school.

1. We go to the park, a lot. I can usually tell when the kids are restless and I will pack them up and go.

2. We have plays and shows. The kids prepare it all, including invitations, and all I have to do is show up. Easy for me, super fun for the kids. I usually make a huge deal over it, clapping and woo hooing, laughing at the funny parts, etc.

3. We play games like tag, red light green light, simon says, mother may I. I get in on ring around the rosies w/ the 3 little ones. My 2 yr old thinks it is a riot when I fall down too.

4. We have a membership to the local museum and we go there often. They have a fun kids section for the kids and this summer had an activity day w/ story time and crafts.

5. The art museum is free here on Thursdays and we go w/ paper in hand and try to recreate the art work we see there. The kids love this.

6. The older kids help me cook. They love to grate cheese, peel boiled eggs, crack the eggs in a bowl for scrambled eggs and chop veggies in my Tupperware spinning chopper thingy.

7. We read chapter books together. I try to make funny voices for the characters, but I am not too good at it. The kids think it is the funniest thing ever.

Those are a few things I can think of off the top of my head. Just enjoy them, pay attention to them. Find things in your everyday life that are fun.


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## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

Checking in again now that we are six! Our fouth little person arrived on the
2nd September so we don't fit in our car altogether anymore







but we are all so happy to have her here with us on the outside now.

I was 19 when I had my first and I'm 33 now. I've almost had 2 in my twenties and two in my thirties. Dh would like another and I might do too but ask me in another couple of years! My pregnancies are getting more complicated and my births more difficult and we are getting poorer not richer since dh started his own business!

Dh and I have one sibling each and aren't close to either of them. Dh had an older brother who died as ababy and he wonders if things would have been different in his family had there been three children not just him and his sister. We hope that our children will be able to feel close to one or other of their siblings at any point in time and will be able to have fun together.

My older boys are 13 and 9 and boy do they eat







: Babies are virtually free for the first year or so don't you find? If only I could feed the whole family on breastmilk


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## burns8 (Sep 11, 2006)

I really do not know how to get around this board but this one caught my eye. I am a mom of 5 and another on the way and a stepdaughter that does not live with us. So a total of 7! I was 21 with my first who is now 16.5 and my youngers is 20 months and hte baby is due March of 2007. WE use to have 2 cars and a van but we just have the van now. We need to find a 8-9 passenger van/suv,etc. I just do not know what to get and what is beston SPACE and GAs. Any suggestions? I did come across w website with snappy combacks to people making comments about large families. At my church where the usual comment is don't you know what causes that? I respond with.. I finally found something I am really good at and you want me to STOP! It normally leaves them laughing uncomfortablly. My fustration right now is dealing with different age groups..teens, preteens, toddlers, and infants. I feel like I am the only one doing any of the work arond here! Any other websites for families like ours and any on homeorganization, etc?

Michelle


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## burns8 (Sep 11, 2006)

Please read my previous post need websites, books, etc.

Thank You
Michelle


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## queenofhercastle (Jun 19, 2006)

Here are few websites I came up with:

MOMYS I don't know if you've heard of it but it stands for Mothers of Many Young Siblings.

Large Family Logistics This is geared toward homeschooling families but it can still help you even if you don't homeschool.

Get Organized Now! Love this one! It has a lot of great suggestions about organizing your home and family.

Hope this helps!


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## queenofhercastle (Jun 19, 2006)

This woman in Connecticut just gave birth to her fifth child and he is HUGE! Here's the article. At this rate, the next one might just _walk_ out!


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## mommyto4grits (May 26, 2006)

queenofhercastle.. thanks for the great wesbite's you posted. That is just what I needed, feeling a little unorganized and overwhelmed today!


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## lanielayne (Jun 13, 2005)

Subbing too!

We have 3 with one in the making. Since the beginning we knew we would at least have 4 though dh has always said 6. I have always told everyone 6 so they can just stop asking if we were planning on having more. Of course they still ask! When I was making the round of phone calls after #2 was born my grandmother told me I should stop now. This woman a mother of 5 herself. We always get the comments but it doesn't bother me a bit. One little old lady came up to me at the grocery store and told me I needed to keep on having kids because there were so many ugly babies in the world! I'll just take that as she thinks big families are nice









I come from a family with 4 children and dh from a family of 6. Unfortunately dh doesn't talk to a single sibling and I live 2000 miles from my sisters so it doesn't feel like we have a huge extended family but I want that for my children when they are older. There is nothing like family. You just can't replace them!

Glad to have found this thread!


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## mclisa (Jul 26, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lanielayne* 
There is nothing like family. You just can't replace them!


Amen


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## mclisa (Jul 26, 2004)

wow, I killed this thread.

What is the best tip out there for you to keep everyone/thing organized?


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## ella*enchanted (Jun 3, 2006)

Hi, I'm new! I'm due with baby #7 (a boy!) in February!


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## magemom (Mar 5, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mclisa* 
What is the best tip out there for you to keep everyone/thing organized?

don't even bother?

for me, everyone is color coded.


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mclisa* 
wow, I killed this thread.

No, I am the one that usually kills a thread!









I love the color coding thing. I had done that for a while, but when my numbers increased, the different colors became harder to find.

After that, I went into designated items. Such as each child had two towels (each distinct), one complete set of dishes (including glass, plate, bowl, and saucer; each distinct), and so on. This worked for us for years. I always knew who had left their dishes out, who left their towel on the floor, and so on. However since our "shake up" about five years ago, we have fallen away. At this moment I am beginning to implament a MOTH schedule. I am praying that it works wonders on our disorganized lives.


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## 1growingsprout (Nov 14, 2005)

hi all, it took me a while to find this buried thread...

for now we have 8 kids.. the older 2 were adpoted from family last spring(they may be going to a diff family member soon, long story with dd 8)
my triplets are 6 mos old and im pgnt again... i always wanted a huge family... we dont all fit my Honda Odyssey anymore ;(

we have a grocery budget of about 2k month (for everything)
i think costco was developed just for us..

i have a 4 seater stroller i love LOVE that thing

howver i have not done laundry since thursday night and NOW IM SCARED>..


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## queenofhercastle (Jun 19, 2006)

Hi 1growingsprout,

Thanks for resurrecting this thread!

We have 4 kids with #5 on the way next month. I love having a large family. There's a whole lot of love in this house!

Wow - a 4 seater stroller? I've never seen one those before. Makes you the center of attention everywhere you go I'm sure.

Congrats on the new pregnancy. How far along are you?


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## 1growingsprout (Nov 14, 2005)

http://www.shop.com/op/~Foundations_...7?sourceid=298

this is the one we have... its GREAT....

i commands great attention let me tell you but it also makes life possible..

fyi im 7 wks pgnt...

this is my new favorite website

http://www.daycarefurnituredirect.com

we also broke down and got one of these tables
http://www.daycarefurnituredirect.co...860/670237.htm

and it does come in handy... mainly outside now that is nice here and we picnic and bbq lots... no more hauling of the highchairs and it can be hosed off...

i think reality set in for DH and we are just going to buy 'day care' stregnth stuff.... little tikes is great for stuff too

**any thougths on my every growing laundry mountain


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## queenofhercastle (Jun 19, 2006)

Wow, those kids are riding around in style! I like that stroller. I used to work in day care and I remember those tables. They definitely help when you have a lot of little ones to feed. Good idea. I'll have to check out that website some more.

I understand about the growing laundry mountain. If nothing else, make sure everyone has clean underwear LOL. Then I would suggest that you wash and then get your older ones to fold and put away. Even better would be to get the older ones to do their own laundry - I'm working on this with my older ones. That's all my thoughts for now...

I have a question that I posted a couple of months ago but I only got one answer. I need some more ideas so I copied it below. I'm open to any and all suggestions.

_What are some fun things you all do with your kids? Especially the older ones.

My mom didn't do a lot of fun stuff with us growing up so I don't have her example to draw from. She was a single mom so I'm sure that had something to do with it. Part of it was her personality. She was very serious. And got more and more so as we got older. Trying to keep us in line, I guess. Although we did do some fun activities occasionally.

I want to be more consisent with my kids, though. It's easier with the younger ones (3 and 5½) but I'm at a loss with my 8yo twins. You can only play so many card games.

Any ideas?_


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## AngelBee (Sep 8, 2004)

Baby #4 has been here for two weeks now







:

Thanks for bumping the thread


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## 1growingsprout (Nov 14, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *queenofhercastle* 
Wow, those kids are riding around in style! I like that stroller. I used to work in day care and I remember those tables. They definitely help when you have a lot of little ones to feed. Good idea. I'll have to check out that website some more.

I understand about the growing laundry mountain. If nothing else, make sure everyone has clean underwear LOL. Then I would suggest that you wash and then get your older ones to fold and put away. Even better would be to get the older ones to do their own laundry - I'm working on this with my older ones. That's all my thoughts for now...

I have a question that I posted a couple of months ago but I only got one answer. I need some more ideas so I copied it below. I'm open to any and all suggestions.

_What are some fun things you all do with your kids? Especially the older ones.

My mom didn't do a lot of fun stuff with us growing up so I don't have her example to draw from. She was a single mom so I'm sure that had something to do with it. Part of it was her personality. She was very serious. And got more and more so as we got older. Trying to keep us in line, I guess. Although we did do some fun activities occasionally.

I want to be more consisent with my kids, though. It's easier with the younger ones (3 and 5½) but I'm at a loss with my 8yo twins. You can only play so many card games.

Any ideas?_


how about the board games for the older ones... crafts... invlove them in helpign with the little ones...get outside for a walk with JUST them... spend the walk looking for something (all the pink flowers.. how many diff types are there?)


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## ~*max*~ (Dec 23, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AngelBee* 
Honestly, I wish we had a large family forum here.

There are so many times I have questions that I would like to direct at mamas of many. In tribes they sometimes get lost plus are harder to search for later.

Yes, yes, yes - my thoughts exactly.








I'd love to join you all. I'm a mama to 5, 4 of my own little ones and also raising my nephew who is now 18. Not much time to post, but will bbl.


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## AngelBee (Sep 8, 2004)

Looking for advice from mamas with many...

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...28#post6693028


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## wildthing (Feb 16, 2003)

Popping in to sub and introduce myself.









I am Donna, have 8 kids and we're expecting #9 in April. So far, we have only told 2 family members, my brother and MIL. My kids are 21, 19, 16, 13, 10, 7, 5 and 2 1/2. I also have a 1yo granddaughter.









Okay, just subbing now. Look forward to chatting.


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## queenofhercastle (Jun 19, 2006)

Welcome wildthing!

Congratulations on your pregnancy. You are truly blessed!


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## chainedangel (Oct 29, 2005)

subbing!

I've got 4 all told. 3 boys 1 girl. 2 of my boys live w/ their father. I'm also working out details to be a surro for a friend of mine. He and his partner have decided that they want me to be Mom not just surro. (Is an interesting dynamic but works for us) So, seeing as they want 2 I'll end up being Mom to 6 in a few years. Maybe more if I find the right guy.


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

I thought I would revive this thread once again!









SOOO....Any of you large families still out there?


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## queenofhercastle (Jun 19, 2006)

I'm still here!







And my family just got a little larger!







Our new baby boy was born 6 days ago and we can't get enough of him.

Thanks for reviving this thread!


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

OOOOHHHH! A tiny baby! I love them at that age.









Of course, I love them at any age!









Congratulations!


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## AngelBee (Sep 8, 2004)

Still here


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

There does not seem to be much activity on here lately. I thought I would just bump this up again!


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## hsmomof4 (Jul 26, 2005)

Mommy of 4 here! We are going to have about 2 or 3 more.


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## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

I'm still here too and there is no noise here at the mo. Unusual don't you find?

Dd2 is asleep on my arm, dd1 and dh are on their way to sleep (dh will get up again to sort out the kitchen I hope!) dss are in their bunks reading before sleeping.

It snowed here overnight and we woke up to a note on the bathroom door from the boys saying "If we are still out when you wake up its because we are in the garden"

The neighbour said she saw them out there not long after 7! They built a pile of snow and made a face in it. Dd was so pleased when she got up and our neighbours kids all talked to the 'nowman on their way to school. It was all gone by lunchtime as usual









This kind of thing makes me so happy that the boys have each other to share fun with and that dd has them to help her have fun too; I wouldn't have had time to make a snowman before school!

Right now shopping is getting tricky. While the boys are at school if I walk to town with the girls - one in the sling, one walking - and we need milk or flour or fruit and juice or all of the above the weight of what we need is too much to carry. I don't use a pushchair (oops stroller) because I don't want to put either of them in one. DD loves walking and needs to walk everyday for my sanity! Babe is warmer with me and oh I'm probably preaching to the choir now.....

Things are very tight at the moment and I don't want to be using the car just to go such a short distance and pay to park sooooo I've been looking at these

I love the colour of the mauve 'Go Pink' one but dh thinks I'm crazy because basically its a 'biddy trolley' for old ladies. I'm thinking one would be useful in the summer for days in the park and outdoor pool too.

Do any of you have a trolley or similar?


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## BfCdCsMomto6 (Oct 11, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SoggyGranolaMomma* 
Shoot, we have 5 and the minivan was fine with 4 but now, jeez.

I do NOT want to graduate to a minibus.







:


My 14 yr old is always saying we need to buy a yellow bus LOL


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## Brisen (Apr 5, 2004)

I'm lurking on this thread... we have three now, not a large family IMO (though every third person I meet when I'm out with the kids seems to think so!). We're hoping for #4 soon, and more after that. I grew up in a family with 3 kids, so it's nice reading about your lives and getting a peek of what things might be like.

orangefoot, I've seen those carts without the covers at grocery stores... they are generally fairly cheap. Or you could get a wagon, though that might be tricky for bringing it in with you. I'm not sure what your grocery store set up is like.

Or you could get a stroller and still sling your babe and have your dd walk, and just use it to put groceries in, and then if you were in a situation where you did want to use it to put your babe down (when she is older), you have the option. Sometimes I wish we had a stroller with a shade for sunny days when I'm out with a babe in the sling who won't keep a hat on!


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

I think those carts are so great. I wish I had one for each of my children, and myself. As often as we go out, they could all put their own "stuff" in it and then carry it around! I would not have to end up holding it, or trying to keep track of it.


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## hlivengo (Mar 25, 2006)

We finally got the van we need last week. We had an 8 passenger van, but just got a used 12 passenger van. It's an older(1998) van, and it was a painter's van, so it doesn't look pretty, but mechanically it's awesome, so that's great! I'm sooooo excited. Now, dh will drive the 8 pass van, and I'll drive it when I run to the store, or for short trips,etc. I'm totally psyched!


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## hsmomof4 (Jul 26, 2005)

When we had our 4th we broke down a bought a new Chevy express 15 pass van. We thought about getting a 12 pass but then taking out the back seat for cargo was only seating for 8 and the back seat goes right up to the door and it had no more seating then our previous minivan. I love driving it but with gas prices we only take it when we compete with the dogs. We have 4 dogs now and the crates fit great in the back and load up our stuff. We go out of town 1-3 weekends a month. We bought a third vehicle once the gas prices hit almost $3 a gallon driving around in Atlanta especially when everything is on the northside we got a 7 pass crossover vehicle that gets 26 mpg. We'll go back to using the 15 pass everyday if we have another one.


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Our last van was a 15 passenger van. I really loved it. So large and roomy. And realistically, not that much larger than the 12p. That was one of the reasons that we went with the 15p over the 12p; why spend the same money on something that is just the same but has one less seat (so we can just take out the one seat). But the "new, wonderful" gas prices did keep us from driving it much.









Our new one is a 12p. And I like it almost as much as I did my 15p, but not quite as much!


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## nata0742 (Jul 6, 2003)

we got a used 15 pass van but somewhere in its previous life it lost the back row - so I think it only seat 12 - ONLY -









when all the kids are together - it sure is handy....when the stepkids are with their mom - we drive around in a standard minivan.....

we looked into a small bus for comfort but they are just too expensive....


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## AngelBee (Sep 8, 2004)

We are looking into a 12 or 15 passanger van for when our Suberban stops running.

What things can be done to make it as environmentally friendly as possible?


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## AngelBee (Sep 8, 2004)

I am curious what your role as mom and you dh role within each of your families look like.









How are household tasks divided? Care of children? Diapering? Cooking?








:


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## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

Fuel at $3 gallon









We pay almost £1 per litre and at current exchange rates that's just under $8 a gallon







:

My dh has a contractor who is looking to sell his 7 seat Honda Stream (like the shuttle/odyssey) It's done 120,000m in 4 years but is fully serviced so we're hoping to do a deal on it with him so that we can all go out together again. We've had only a 5 seater since the summer and its getting us down now.

Our house looks like this

Me
About 2/3 cooking
9/10 laundry
1/2 washing dishes (no dishwasher)
about 2/3 EC (we are nappy free)
1/2 taking and collecting from school
1/2 taking care of children (when I am working)

Dh makes all the above up to 100% with the help of the boys. He has his own business in property management and lettings. Most of the business is done online or by phone so he's not tied to an office and he can do appointments at times to suit.

We conceived dd2 and started the business at the same time and although financially it is hard it is great for family life at the moment because he is here to share so much joy and excitement with the little ones which he would miss doing 9-5.


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AngelBee* 
I am curious what your role as mom and you dh role within each of your families look like.









How are household tasks divided? Care of children? Diapering? Cooking?

These are very good questions.







I love answering questions.









OK, we like to take more "traditional" roles. Basically, I am a SAHM that is responsible for the household and everything that deals with running it as well as all that is necessary for caring for the children and keeping things working. My husband is the basic "Bread winner", and is responsible for working outside the home and all that entails.

As for activities of daily living, well that is fairly well balanced. My husband leaves for work before any of the children are awake. I have to take him to the bus. From there our "day time lives" run separately. He works until sixish. During that time, I feed the children breakfast, lunch, and two snacks, dress them, teach them school, keep the house clean (if I can), run all sorts of errands, make doctor visits, go on field trips, go to the library, prepare for supper, and anything else that has to be done in the basic 9-5 business hour day.

When my husband arrives home, the work is much more balanced. He assists me with supper, if it is not ready yet, he ensures all the trash is taken out (which is really an important job with a family our size), he helps supervise the children in their work (whether it is left over school work or chores), and basically, just aides me in whatever I may need help on. He then helps put them to bed as well. When he is not working during the day, he works side by side with me accomplishing anything that needs done (we usually don't do school when he is off work). He helps me shop for groceries, carry big boxes, does heavy lifting, and most importantly, kills every spider than comes my way!









He is also solely responsible for all the bills and the check book. We figured that since he was the one working, AND that he worked in our bank, he should have to deal with that stuff. He also goes with me when I take the children out in the evenings or weekends; like when we are going to the circus in a couple of weeks, or the science museum on the weekend. He is also such a wonderful father that he plays with our children all the time.

Basically, we help each other accomplish what needs to be accomplished to run the house smoothly. OH, and he does almost all the laundry!







When necessary, he also washes dishes, cooks, cleans, sweeps and mops the floor, cleans out the cars, mows the grass, changes diapers, bathes the children, cares for the children, and anything else that I do.


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## raleigh_mom (Jan 11, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hsmomof4* 
We bought a third vehicle once the gas prices hit almost $3 a gallon driving around in Atlanta especially when everything is on the northside we got a 7 pass crossover vehicle that gets 26 mpg. We'll go back to using the 15 pass everyday if we have another one.

What did you find that got 26 mpg? We are about to get either a Kia Sedona or a Dodge Grand Caravan. I like that the Sedona has shoulder belts for 7.

We are currently not a large family - only 2 kids - but we are looking at adopting to add more. Thus the minivan. I'm also trying to learn to budget my time more efficiently and to become more organized around the house. The kids are taking the increase in chores right in stride.

What other advice can you give for preparing for a larger family? What should I do now while I have the time? What should I be stocking up on? And what do you wish you knew then that you know now?


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## WrapHappy (Jan 28, 2007)

I am here!! were are having our 5th in March- I wish I could drive a bus that was a minivan- lol...


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## WrapHappy (Jan 28, 2007)

by the way I don;t care so much what we drive as long as it has built in car seats!!! I love my builts in!!!


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## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *raleigh_mom* 
What other advice can you give for preparing for a larger family? What should I do now while I have the time? What should I be stocking up on? And what do you wish you knew then that you know now?

In the house - storage and more storage. Then a table you can all sit around comfortably to eat, play, paint, do homework etc.

In your head - even if sometimes you feel that you don't have enough time for everybody; they all have each other


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Quote:

What other advice can you give for preparing for a larger family?
Develop a good schedule early. I know many people don't like schedules. But for a large family, it makes everything run so much smoother. And it does not have to be a complicated schedule either. A basic "breakfast at 8, morning snack at 10, lunch at 12, afternoon snack at 3:30 supper at 6, tidy up at 7:30, and bed at 8-10 (depending on child's age)" was our first schedule.
This made it so easy for each of the children to know what to expect and when to expect it. I was very surprised, but it really worked wonders for us.

Quote:

What should I do now while I have the time?
SLEEP!









Quote:

What should I be stocking up on?
Towels, bedding, dishes (preferably kids safe ones, for me, that is corelle ware), and don't forget the camera and video recorder for all the pictures and home movies.

Quote:

What do you wish you knew then that you know now?
Do your own research, and listen to your own instincts. The biggest regret that I have was that I listened to everyone else, especially my Mom, for how to deal with my oldest children.


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## allye (Dec 14, 2006)

Hi there!
Good to know I am not the only one with a few kiddos! I have five myself ...and I thought I was done... but I have this sneaking nagging feeling that im not done...so im slowly trying to convince DH for one more... (I am so anal about not having round numbers of things LOL)

My oldest is 13, then there's 10,8,4, and 7 months


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## mamanicki (May 31, 2002)

Just posting to sub. We have 7 kiddos, 3 are from my husband's previous marriage and they live with us during the week. It is amazing to me how full our house feels when we go from 4 to 7 every Sunday night! Anyway, I'll read back and try to catch up.


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## Knittin' in the Shade (Feb 14, 2003)

subbing







We've got 4 boys, aged 7.5 to 4 months. We're hoping to adopt 2 more someday (probably not for a few years, as we want to keep the birth order intact so we'll probably adopt a toddler when our youngest now is a preschooler)

Love the questions and ideas on this thread! The "roles" in our house break out into pretty traditional ones, I'd say: Dh works outside the home, and I work from home, running the household and running my design business as well. I do all the laundry, pretty much all the cooking and the day-to-day cleaning. Dh does dish duty after dinner, bathtime and bedtime routine with the older 3, helps with homeowrk, does all the yardwork, and cleans the kitchen from top to botto, every saturday (that's before he takes the older 3 out for the rest of saturday so I can get down in the studio and WORK!) We've got a good routine and balance, and I can't imagine doing the big family thing with a husband that wasn't helpful!


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## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *allye* 
Hi there!
Good to know I am not the only one with a few kiddos! I have five myself ...and I thought I was done... but I have this sneaking nagging feeling that im not done...so im slowly trying to convince DH for one more... (I am so anal about not having round numbers of things LOL)

My oldest is 13, then there's 10,8,4, and 7 months









Ours are 13, 10 this month, 4 this month and 5 months today! We laugh because dh and I were born 73, ds1 in 93 andd dd1 in 2003 so its easy to work out how old everyone is!

Ds2 was born on my parents' 25th wedding anniversary and dd2 is just special


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## Brisen (Apr 5, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *orangefoot* 
In your head - even if sometimes you feel that you don't have enough time for everybody; they all have each other

I'm starting to see this, even with just three. I'm very early pg with #4 and feeling tired and a bit crampy (and worried) this morning, so I was taking some time for myself to sit and read while the kids slept in a bit. M and S are awake now, and they were looking at a book together after M had her wake-up snuggle with me. He was pointing out colours in a book and she was repeating them back. Now they've taken out the train set and are building a track together. S is being very patient with her.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kidzaplenty* 
Develop a good schedule early.

I'm finding this really helps us, too. When I had one or two and they were very small, we could kind of go with the flow and do whatever, whenever. But even now, it helps so much if we follow a rhythm like this and I keep on top of things.

ETA: Haha, I've just looked over my post and realized that my two statements kind of contradict each other -- in one I say I'm letting the kids sleep in and we're just hanging out this morning and going with the flow, then I sing the praises of having a schedule. I'm still working on it! And sometimes, we do take a day off.


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## nata0742 (Jul 6, 2003)

i am an only child and always said i wanted loads of kids.....4.....and i am CRAVING another (baby is 4 mo and I would wait BUT DH who has 3 from prior marriage is done.......

i hear these bigger families and I feel i have more in me....that prob wont ever get a chance


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## Blissful Bee (Aug 11, 2004)

Hey guys,
We currently have three, trying for # four. We would like to have five children, but I am going with the flow. I love reading about what you guys are doing and how you are working things. Im trying to find those secret systems that people have come up with to help with the chore side of life. We do have a family closet which has saved my life and my sanity, but Im excited to read about more ideas here.

We have a 2000 Expedition, but it only has four shoulder belts. It will work for us for a while as long as the littles are in car seats. So we are good there for a while. The gas mileage stinks on it, and I feel like a boob driving it around, but oh well, it's paid for and I might fill it up once a month, if that.

Anyway, glad to find you ladies, and I will continue reading on.....


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## AngelBee (Sep 8, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nata0742* 
i am an only child and always said i wanted loads of kids.....4.....and i am CRAVING another (baby is 4 mo and I would wait BUT DH who has 3 from prior marriage is done.......

i hear these bigger families and I feel i have more in me....that prob wont ever get a chance


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## Lemon Juice (Jun 6, 2005)

We've got four! I really want five tho. But I had a baby each year, almost..so I'm done for now







I think I'm ready to sit back and enjoy these four and let them grow before we have number five.

Dh says he does not want anymore..but won't get it taken care to not have babes anymore. He's sending so many mixed messages to me about it..I just dont know anymore. I feel I am NOT done..and want one more. I'm 26..and just really know I will crave and long for another baby one day. He actually had the nerve to tell me if I had one more it would not be w/ him!







wtf? Nice, huh? But told me he didn't want to get the deed done (to him) b/c he might have kids one day w/ someone else if we ever broke up??














double wtf?!? Maybe I should post in another forum.....


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## queenofhercastle (Jun 19, 2006)

Awww, nata! My heart goes out to you. I have a friend who has 3 grown children but she wanted 5. Her dh had a vasectomy after the third but like you she has always felt like she had 2 more in her that never got a chance...


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

cldistefano, so sorry about your DH. I would be so angry at my DH if he made statements like that. I would also wonder why, since we both believe in marriage forever. But then again, that concept seems to be losing ground in todays society.









It's nice to see all the new faces. Can you all imagine if we all got together with all our children how many there would be? I think it would be great!

I am on another large family digest, and the average family has about 8 children with many having a dozen or more. We actually do have get togethers annually or more (I have never been, but I hear they are terrific). And the massive amount of children that are present are staggering! I so wish that I could go. Perhaps one day.


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## queenofhercastle (Jun 19, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kidzaplenty* 
But then again, that concept [marriage forever] seems to be losing ground in todays society.









I know! It really is very sad.

Quote:

Can you all imagine if we all got together with all our children how many there would be? I think it would be great!
I could only imagine! I don't see other large families often here where I live but I'm always excited when I do. So if there were a whole bunch of us all in one place I'd be really excited!









Quote:

I am on another large family digest, and the average family has about 8 children with many having a dozen or more. We actually do have get togethers annually or more (I have never been, but I hear they are terrific). And the massive amount of children that are present are staggering! I so wish that I could go. Perhaps one day.








What other large family digest are you on? I would love to meet up with other large families every so often.


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *queenofhercastle* 
What other large family digest are you on? I would love to meet up with other large families every so often.

I am on the MOMYS (Mothers Of Many Young Siblings) digest, where the criteria to be accepted on the digest is that you have had at least four children under the age of 8 at some point in time. It is "normal" for a family to be having their 8th or 9th and four or five is considered a "small" family!









It's just really great to have such a community of large families (there are hundreds of families on the digest!) There are just so many things that are specific for raising large families, I have found this digest to be invaluable.


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## Blissful Bee (Aug 11, 2004)

bump


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

It's been a couple of days since I was here. Hope everyone is well. All is well for us. My oldest daughter just came back for a trip to visit her friend across the country, and my oldest son is recovering from a broken toe, but seems to be mending well. Our routine is still on the fritz, but we are working on it. I am taking all the children to the circus tomorrow! They are really looking forward to that.

Guess that is all for now. Later.


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## raleigh_mom (Jan 11, 2004)

Can anyone suggest books about big families. I'm looking for stories, tips, suggestions, etc in book format.

Currently we have 2 dd's, but hope to add 1 or 2 ds's by the end of the year via adoption. (Although dd1 thinks we should add a dd, too.)


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## AngelBee (Sep 8, 2004)

Routines







: I am still trying to set one in place!







I actually am the worst at following it.


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## AngelBee (Sep 8, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *raleigh_mom* 
Can anyone suggest books about big families. I'm looking for stories, tips, suggestions, etc in book format.










:


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Not sure about books, as I prefer to read fiction. But I would be interested in some if anyone had a title to recommend. I am great at finding books, and love to read.


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## mommajam (Dec 7, 2006)

HI everyone,

I just found this thread and wanted to say Hi. I have five, ds6 3/4, ds 5 1/2, dd 2 3/4, ds 1, and new baby due in June. I've been enjoying this thread.
As for the cars, I was ecstatic when we finally bought an old GMC safari with 8 seats. One of the biggest benefits to me is that when I am pregnant (and I am tall) I get to step up and step down out of the driver's seat instead of trying to crunch myself down into and haul myself out as I do in regular cars! That's besides having enough seats for the kids and all.







I used to think my next car would be a 15 passenger. I like the idea of having enough seats for friends and family. However, I REALLY liked those little mini-bus type things that the hotels use to cart people around. They are sooo roomy, with even more seats and don't look all that much bigger than a 15 passenger anyway. I wonder what the gas mileage is? On the other hand, I read that post about having a limo and that has piqued my curiosity enough that I will DEFINITELY look into that. It would be rather ironic to me if that is what we got. My Dad, before I was old enough to drive, always said to look around at the cars I saw and think about what kind I would like to have someday (as a way of dream-building). It didn't take me long to settle on the limos. Then, I just figured that as a big performing star I would be chauffered places. So i jokingly started pointing at every limo I saw saying, "Hey, that's MY car!" Wouldn't it be hysterical if I ended up with one... to cart all of my children around -- a much greater blessing than my original reason for wanting one! he he

My husband and I pretty much are split into the traditional roles of the family, but he does help out a lot in the house whenever I need him, and often without my asking. And DEFINITELY with the kids. I think it is amazing how he has grown from when we had only one or two to now. When my 1yo was only 6 months or so he loaded all of our four kids in the car PLUS my very active niece and took them out shopping and other things.... and it wasn't MY idea! It was HIS! When we had only two he didn't seem capapble of watching them for more than half an hour without enlisting his mother's aid!!! Now he takes them all out regularly for me. WOW.

I definitely need help with playing with the kids. I have always been such a bookworm and so much in my head. I can sit around and talk for hours or read books, but when it comes to getting down and playing or doing crafts, they sound nice, but I feel like I don't know where to start. That's one of the things I LOVE my husband for, he does this wonderfully. At least he's makingup somewhat where I am deficient, but I am working on this and hope that I will get better with time and effort.

Love hearing about all your wonderful families!
M.


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## motherhubbard10 (Jun 28, 2005)

Hi guys, I'm just subbing for now - you can find lots more out about me from my posts on 5 or more kids, quiverfull, and intro threads.

I'll read some of these posts next week!

Just one thing to post - I got a lot of flack for 4 - 7 kids, but after that I think they just wrote me off as a whacko. Now I get more "are you pregnant yet" type of comments - almost like they like to brag about me or something, and maybe not always in a good light ("my sister is so weird, did you know she has 24 kids! or something like that!!!







)

And I think it was this thread - we drive a 12 passenger van for church and family outings, but since I have built in baby sitters, I usually drive our Buick, that is when I don't send my 16 YO DD to do the errands for me!

Talk to you later!


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## Snork (Feb 17, 2007)

Hi all: I hope its okay to join this forum and the one on 5 plus kids. I have seven delightful darlings and while it just feels average to me, its considered large in NZ where I come from.

I'm beyond people asking me if I'm nuts anymore, they just ask if I'm pregnant again, lol.

Hope you dont mind if I join you.


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Snork & Motherhubbard, welcome to this tribe too!







I know, how many tribes can you be in because of the size of your family? Well, I think I am in four or five, maybe, but I forget. Anyways, each tribe is a little different and that makes for different members. I really like each one, too.









SO, welcome!


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Forgot to add. I, too, am past the stage of people giving me grief about the amount of children I have. I have reached the point of "are you pg yet?"

I guess it is a good place to be, where they just assume that I am going to be pg again. At least I don't worry too much about comments anymore, not that I really ever "worried" about what they thought.


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## motherhubbard10 (Jun 28, 2005)

I think that by this time, we are beyond all hope of their influencing out lifestyle, so they are now just curious as to when the next one will be "in the oven"!

LOL!!









It is a much nicer place to be!


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

It really is a nice place to be. It is just sad that I had to get to number 7 before I got there.


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## AngelBee (Sep 8, 2004)

Welcome new mamas


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## Mama~Love (Dec 8, 2003)

Hey y'all, haven't posted here in awhile. LOL, I feel like I have to change my screen name since 6 isn't many to a few of you. I'm kinda jealous you guys can have such a big family. DH says we're done, and I'm really sad about that.


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## kayla14 (Dec 8, 2004)

Oh! I'm so glad I found this!

I've got 3 girls (8, 6, & 3) and a 1yo boy. We've kept saying we were done having babies after 2, but the more I have, the more I seem to want. *sigh*

My biggest issue right now is that we live in a smallish house (according to other people its tiny). The lack of personal space gets to me at times.

Happy to be here anyways!









Lisa


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## pooh-tiggermom (Aug 2, 2006)

HI everyone. It's been a while since I've posted on MDC. We just found out this weekend that we're pregnant with #4!







Im very "nervous" about telling my family. I told my bestfriend & our 3 boyz, then a cpl hours after we found out my MIL called. She started talking about someone else in the fam having another kid, & are we thinking of having anymore? She was talking to DH & he said "uuhhhhhhh" & she said "Is she pregnant??" & he said again "uuuhhhhhhhhhhhh" So she knows. We told that we were't going to tell everyone until I've been to see a midwife. She said she can keep a secret for 2 mos, after that she's not sure.







My MIL is great, so I wasn't afraid to tell her. My mom & dad tho.........OH BOY







: & my brother. When he found out I was pregnant with # 3 he thought I was joking. Then he was all like "don't you want better for your kids than we had?"









So how long did you all wait to tell certain ppl you knew were gonna give you a hard time about it? I'm due sometime in Nov.....my Mom & her DH are moving out here in Oct.....so Im thinking that will be a good time to tell them huh?







I just don't want to deal with the cr*p this time. I know they're going to bring up the fact that we should've waited til we bought a house & settled in (which we're house hunting for our first home). & then of course waited til we are a little more financially stable (like that's gonna happen anytime soon). The old saying "Im not getting any younger here" pops into my head.

It's so great that so many ppl are willing to share their lives with others. Thank you all.

Mom to 3 Boyz







: & pregnant with # 4!


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pooh-tiggermom* 
We just found out this weekend that we're pregnant with #4!









Congratulations!







I think a new life is always reason to celebrate!









Quote:


Originally Posted by *pooh-tiggermom* 
So how long did you all wait to tell certain ppl you knew were gonna give you a hard time about it?

I am really bad about waiting. I have waited as long as 34 weeks to tell anyone.







:
At number three, I got tired of all the remarks, and it has become a game for me...'how long can I hide it?'







I am REALLY good, too!

I usually wait until about four months to tell close family, and sometimes longer. Friends or neighbors will depend on our relationship, and how often we see each other, how close we are, and what type of relationship we have (business, acquaintance, and so forth).


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## AngelBee (Sep 8, 2004)

Congrats pooh_tiggermom


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## WeasleyMum (Feb 27, 2007)

Quote:

Can anyone suggest books about big families. I'm looking for stories, tips, suggestions, etc in book format.

Currently we have 2 dd's, but hope to add 1 or 2 ds's by the end of the year via adoption. (Although dd1 thinks we should add a dd, too.)
Cheaper By the Dozen, and Belles on Their Toes: two books about the Gilbraith family, 1920's time frame, 11 kids. Very funny, much better than the movie.

Several Ann M. Martin (woman who wrote the Babysitter's Club series) feature large familes-- am I showing my age/ generation, here? Specifically, Ten Kids, No Pets and Eleven Kids, One Summer. I remember liking these as a kid, but really don't know if they are actually good.

And while they are only peripheral to the main story, the Weasleys of the Harry Potter series (6 boys and a girl) are my favorite literary big family-- or does that show, too?


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kidzaplenty* 
Not sure about books, as I prefer to read fiction. But I would be interested in some if anyone had a title to recommend. I am great at finding books, and love to read.

Heck, I'd like fiction books where they have a large family.


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## nata0742 (Jul 6, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kidzaplenty* 
I am really bad about waiting. I have waited as long as 34 weeks to tell anyone.







:

put it this way - there were actually old friends that had no idea of #3 when i sent out email that #4 had been borned....heck, even forgot to mention i had gotton remarried.....LOL.....

my dad found out about #3 by a big fluke.....one of my cousins on mom side met uncle on dads side - realized relationship through moms maiden name coincindance. cousin made comment about my dad having new grandchild soon...uncle called dad...dad called sister, sister (my aunt) called her daughter to confirm that the comment that i was pregnant made 7 months earlier was true.....

so yea - wait til they move local! LOL


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

I love big family fiction. But it is really hard to find any. Most, if they include family, are of small families that fit the "norm". I have never read "Cheaper by the Dozen" or "Bells on Their Toes", but I have seen the movies (the originals) and I really loved them.

I also really like "Your, Mine, and Ours" the original, not the remake. I did not like the open rebellion in the remake or the way the mom and dad were so . . . oh, I can't even think of an appropriate word. They just never seemed to really know the other or care about what the other did. In a large family, there is a lot of give and take (I guess that is true in any family, but it seems more pronounced in a large family), and if there is no understanding of the other, things can fall apart fast, as stress levels rise and nerves become short.

OOPS, off on a rabbit trail.







: I can be very opinionated about movies and books.

On the other topic. I would love to wait until after I had the baby to tell people I was expecting, but my Mom, who always seems to live near by is one of those people that if you want the world to know, you only have to tell her. With my Gideon, I actually got away with her not knowing until 34 weeks. But hey, I could only hide it for so long.


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## Snork (Feb 17, 2007)

Usually DH and I are so delighted to be pregnant again that we cant keep it secret longer than a day. We try, man do we try....but the excitement just shows I guess and everyone guesses.

If we are blessed with another (which we truly hope for) then my mother wont know till after it is born - she disowned me after number 7 was born.







I'm kinda sad about that, but she did what she felt she had to.


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## Mama~Love (Dec 8, 2003)

Another book w/ a large family is _I Should Have Seen It Coming When The Rabbit Died_ by Teresa Bloomingdale. published in 1979, she tells of her adventure & excitement of having 10 kids during the 50's & 60's. I laughed & cried, it's a great book.


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## mama in the forest (Apr 17, 2006)

Hi mamas ~ has there been any talk of the Dodge Sprinter in all these 9 pages???? I don't think I can sit down and read through them all!









I've been without a vehicle since my sixth was born (my van won't hold all the car seats) and I've been exploring the idea of a sprinter. Supposedly, it takes care of the roll-over/safety factor of the large passenger vans with it's stabalization technology. I know a few MDC mamas have them......anyone here drive one?


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## pooh-tiggermom (Aug 2, 2006)

Hi again M







: ms. WOW waiting til the end of pregnancy to tell them! I was kind of kidding about that.







Well my Mom & her DH are coming out here next month to take care of details for the house they're buying. With this being #4 Im not sure I can hide it......Im tall & skinny, so in another 5 weeks I'll be showing (in fact I've alrdy got a teeny pooch....which only DH & I can tell right now). Then we'll be moving in a cpl months........not sure if they will come out again to help with that, but by June I know I wont be able to hide it. I want to share the news but I just dont want to deal with anything negative they will have to say.







: I'll tell them then hang up the phone!







& not answer the phone for 8 months!

Thank you letting me vent more. I appreciate all the feedback & all the congratz!

Mom to 3







: Boyz &







with #4


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## queenofhercastle (Jun 19, 2006)

Has anybody seen this?

laughup


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## 1growingsprout (Nov 14, 2005)

Just wanted to stop in for a bit...
things have been super hectic here.. im going to have 5 kids under 2







:
i must be nuts...

things seem to be getting out of control... LAUNDRY for one... i try to not use the dryer very much, the clothes just last longer but im quickly running out of places to hang this stuff... plus i still have tons of 'presents' from Jacob Natalie and Bridget to get through....

I do love our collection of kids books... we have shelves upon shelves of books... from baby cloth and board books to the harry potter series... i seem to raise book worms.. i swear the baby calms down inside when i read to the others...

as for what i drive... i have a honda odyssey.. we are soooo out of space in that... dh just got a new toyota camary hybrid... i love that thing... we never go anywhere together but if we did it would be two cars..

i feel like i live at costco/sams club... and my grocery bill is spiraling out of control...

but i love the kids.. i love the messes... the kisses and the silent children sleeping...
i just have a feeling this baby isnt our last... but i would like a break between pregnancies


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *queenofhercastle* 
Has anybody seen this?

laughup


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## Proud6 (Mar 5, 2007)

I just found you!! Yeah....I'm expecting my 6th baby in July. I just read all 9 pages and everything sounds like our family.

As for the car thing??? haven't figured that one out yet was thinking of a suburban but gas prices are sooo high.

I have rude comments all the time made to me..So when I got preg this time DH didn't tell anyone, I thought it was because he was unhappy. It was because he didn't want to hear "Do you know what causes that?" "what are you crazy" and the one we both get "are they all YOOOUUURRZZZZ?" I don't care about the comments, people are just scared...we are the brave ones.!

I think big families are great, I have 2 bro and 3sis and soo many nieces and nephews and the funny thing is everyone always wants to stay at my house??? Never a dull moment.

Anyone do a homebirth with all the kids home? I've been thinking about it since my DH has delivered our DD and DS in the hospital anyway. I was just kinda wondering what their reactions were and if it was difficult? Do you think it was a positive experience for them? and did they help at all?

Thanks and good luck on the dishes and laundry....I'm hoping someone breaks in and steals all the dirty ones...LOL!!

Korey 11







:
Libby 9







:
William 7








Brad 5








Michael 3








and edd 7/07


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## faerierose (Jul 9, 2006)

I have 4, and I think I'm nuts because my youngest is almost 6 months I want more already. I swear if I could afford it I would have more. I want twins soooo bad


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## Proud6 (Mar 5, 2007)

I always wanted twins too!! It seems like you get more for your dollar..jk!! I just love my cousins girly twins always dressed alike and holding hands they are sooo sweet.

I recently lost my Brother and my nephew (not my brothers son, my Sisters son) and when I found out I was Preg again, everyone, even the Ob said mabey its twins, my sister still says it. Its funny how a baby can turn life around it has renewed faith for our family that when something so sacred like a life is stolen, one is given back.


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Proud6, just wanted to say WELCOME!







Glad you found us. This really is a great tribe.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Proud6* 
Anyone do a homebirth with all the kids home? I've been thinking about it since my DH has delivered our DD and DS in the hospital anyway. I was just kinda wondering what their reactions were and if it was difficult? Do you think it was a positive experience for them? and did they help at all?

I have had seven children and one mid-term MC, all born at home. I can't say enough how special it has been to bring a life into this world surrounded by all the other lives that you brought into this world. For each child to see their new sibling all brand new (and still gooey).







There is no better education that I could give my children that for them to see first hand what love is all about. And to see a miracle in progress.

I have had all my children at home with me for every subsequent birth. They have all learned that birth is natural. They will never think of birth as a medical event that automatically requires a hospital or a doctor. They will never believe that babies are delivered by a stork or born in a cabbage patch. And all my children know very well where babies come from (even if "how" they get in Mommy is still a mystery). It has not only tightened the bond between siblings, it has removed the jealousy of a new baby, since the baby is a gift for them, too. Mommy did not go away and come home with a rival, the baby that grew inside Mommy, decided to come out and join the family.

OK, I am quite passionate about that subject.







But I really think it is very good for siblings to be there. It is such a wonderful gift that I gave my children, the bond they have developed with their siblings because they were present when they emerged into the world.

Quote:

I'm hoping someone breaks in and steals all the dirty ones...LOL!!








: Me too!







:


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Oh, forgot to add. I have always wanted a set of twins too. I REALLY want identical girl twins. I am not sure why, but it has always been my desire.

Maybe God will one day bless me with them.


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## Proud6 (Mar 5, 2007)

Thank you for the encouragement!!

I hate the hospital and When I bring newbie home the kids always say "Oh, did you get him from the hospital?" They need to know where he came from. I think that it would be a wonderful experience for them. This is probably my last..LOL..I have said that 3 babies ago. Also, about an hour after giving birth I have to go outside (a lil clostrophobic I think) and I have to leave baby inside.Hate that too!~ People have to help take care of the kids, Thats my job and I like it!

Anyway, I wonder have you heard this one before?
I sold my house about 5 months ago and was looking for a place to rent. My dd has rats (ewww, I know but she loves them,)and when I would call for rentals and they would allow the rats and then when asked about Dc their reply would be"oooooohhhh...I don't think its big enough, has enough yrd, insurance reasons" basicly whatever they could think of for an excuse not to rent to me. So, I was on the phone with a realtor, who was very nice, and she started the whole speil and said "Well mabey just 4 kids would be OK " ??? So I replied "Ok, so which one should I get rid of?" she did not say anything for a minute, then replied "I didn't mean it that way!!" Well, I contacted our state rep and the funny of it all is he is now my landlord and I live in a big beautiful house. After telling him the story, he told me how his DW was preg with their 5th child. And has sooo many of the problems and comments and such we all get.


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## katemomof7 (Mar 20, 2007)

I'm sort of just jumping in here, I suppose. I've seven children. 

My last two were homebirths attended by my partners and our children. Very empowering, especially since my first birth had been a "conventional" birth in the hospital. There were just rushes of peace during the labors. And with my last one, I really wanted to show my eldest daughter, who is 13, what a natural process birth is...I don't want her head filled with ideas that pregnancy and labor are "illnesses" that need to be treated in the hospital, with 83 different interventions. She was there the entire time and was present for my partner's delivery a month and a half later, so, I think she has a healthy awareness of what a normal birthing is like.


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## Brisen (Apr 5, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Proud6* 
Anyone do a homebirth with all the kids home?

I don't quite qualify for "large family" status... I'm pg with just #4. My first was a hospital birth, and the other two were homebirths. My kids were home for them... but asleep, mostly. While I think the idea of sibs at the birth is great, I'm a really introverted birther. I spend most of labour by myself in the bathroom (mostly in the tub) and just come out to push. Even then, everyone has to be *quiet* and just leave me alone as much as possible. Honestly, it would be very hard for me to focus on my birthing and interact with anyone, even my kids. When my second was born, my first (who was 2) woke up maybe an hour before the actual birth, and my SIL (who lived with us at the time) and a friend got him breakfast downstairs and took him out to play in the snow. He came up to see the new baby once I had bathed and come out of my shell a bit. When my parents showed up a few hours later, he told them I was upstairs with the new baby. When my second was born, it was in the middle of the night, and my youngest (2.5) woke up shortly after the birth, and came and sat with me while I nursed and such. With both births, it would have been difficult to have the kids awake and in attendance while I actually birthed, but I do think that they got a sense of birth being family-centred.


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## Proud6 (Mar 5, 2007)

katemomof7,
Sounds like a big happy family, My sister always says it takes a village to raise kids!!

What was DD 13 reaction and did any of the other children attend?


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## AuntRayRay (Aug 18, 2004)

Hi Mama's









I have three boys and a nephew that I have custody of that makes 4 in our house. And another boy who doesn't live with me but has been calling me "mommy" for about 6 years







Mostly I'm a single mom(not working out with baby's father) , but want to have more kids (possibly a girl







) in the future-find the right guy LOL Would love to adopt too, but $20,000 is sooo much $. I think its a crime for them to charge so much. Its no wonder there's so many in orphanages








Anyway I read a few pages of this long thread and love the ideas and sympathize with things such as the Mountain of laundry







especially since my washer broke completely a few weeks ago! We we're riding illegally for a while with a small two door car, but in Aug. got a dodge durango..it was so nice to have enough room.

RayRay~


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## Nature (Mar 12, 2005)

Bumping and lurking.









Three girls here, but TTC and hopeful for a large family.


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## mama in the forest (Apr 17, 2006)

Quote:

Anyone do a homebirth with all the kids home?
I have six kids & I do.







Mine are born at home, unassisted, with all the kiddos there. The stories they tell afterwards are hysterically funny.


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## mommaof3 (Dec 11, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Proud6* 
Anyone do a homebirth with all the kids home?

Oh yeah, my last three were home birthed, and it was GREAT, I can't imagine it any other way. They LOVED being there and helping me and seeing the new sibling right away and I LOVE that my kids know what birth is really supopsed to be like, and we didn't have to arrange for them to spend the night somewhere without us (which they wouldn't have been ready for) and I think they felt much more connected to the new baby. After my last birth, I got up and took a shower and then snuggled in bed with all of the kids while we toasted with champagne with our midwives and friends and ate the birthday cake that the kids made for their little brother during my labor.


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## katemomof7 (Mar 20, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Proud6* 
katemomof7,

What was DD 13 reaction and did any of the other children attend?

Sarah was actually very calm about it; she was a soothing presence to have around. She was there when Anna had Anjelica four years ago, and Jayse seven years ago, so, it wasn't quite a novel event to her, although, obviously, it was different in the sense that I really did want her more "involved" than she was last time. While I was laboring in the tub, I just had her in the room with me for a while, talking and visualizing. It was a very special experience for us. She's not a little girl anymore, and I think this also was a sort of transition for us. Of course she's still "my" little girl, but it's hard to think of her that way after seeing how composed and mature she was; even though *I* know that birth is natural, society bombards us with the idea that it isn't, so, to see her embrace it as natural was very rewarding for me.

Delilah (9), was another story altogether.







She's always been a bit of a worrier, and she sounded like my mother-in-law! "What if something goes wrong? How do you know it's going to be ok? How quickly can we get to the hospital? What if the baby gets stuck? What if the baby isn't breathing?," etc. We finally very gently told her that if she didn't want to be there, she could go to another room if she wished, which she took us up on it. I think her spirit just wasn't ready to accept this notion, which is funny because Sarah was her age when Anji was born, and Sarah was pretty ok about it. Just different personalities. Of course, we wouldn't force Delilah to stay in the room if she wasn't comfortable; we're hoping that as she sees more homebirths, the concept will become more comfortable to her and, hopefully, she'll be able to embrace it as Sarah has.

All the kids know that they are free to participate as much as they wish. For Delilah, that basically meant staying away and popping in every half hour or so to see what was going on (and, I think, to make sure I wasn't hemorraging or something!), although she did voluntarily come in while the baby was transitioning into this world.


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## Snork (Feb 17, 2007)

I'm another homebirther - but only five of my 7 have been at home. The kids love being involved and all have special jobs to do. I wonder if homebirthing is why we just dont have any issues of sibling jealousy or acting up with a new baby in the house? Any thoughts?


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Have not had much time lately, but thought I would bump this up and say a quick, Hi!








HI!


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## 1growingsprout (Nov 14, 2005)

My life is becoming a logistics nightmare lol
when you take your kids to the dentist/dr (if you do) do you schedule them back to back, each of a different day?? i mean its getting to the point where they can just block out a whole 1/2 day for us... how far out do you have to schedule??
I have a wonderful r'ship with our peds office and i love then dearly... the dentist is a totally diff experience... we are ready to have 3 kids going... im ready to find a new dentist...

thoughts ideas HELP ME>.....


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## ~*max*~ (Dec 23, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *1growingsprout* 
My life is becoming a logistics nightmare lol
when you take your kids to the dentist/dr (if you do) do you schedule them back to back, each of a different day?? i mean its getting to the point where they can just block out a whole 1/2 day for us... how far out do you have to schedule??
I have a wonderful r'ship with our peds office and i love then dearly... the dentist is a totally diff experience... we are ready to have 3 kids going... im ready to find a new dentist...

thoughts ideas HELP ME>.....

I so hear you on this, and I "only" have four. (I never thought I'd say that! Around here four is considered huge!). Last time I went I had to have three of my kids examined & I had the baby w/me too. Luckily my MIL offered to come & watch the kids in the waiting room while I was in the dentist's room w/whoever was being examined. It was still chaotic, but we got it done.

Now that I have 2 at school & 2 at home, I try to "divide & conquer" whenever I can - I'll take the little ones to their appointments during the school day and the bigger kids to theirs after school when dh can watch the little ones. If I have to bring everyone I try to come up w/some new interesting activity to keep them occupied for a while, like a new sticker book or activity book.

HTH. I'd love to hear how others manage.


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## hlivengo (Mar 25, 2006)

Both my dr and my dentist will only see 2 at a time. Just this week, I have 3 days of dr appts, to just get 6 of my 10 kids seen. It's a nightmare when they need more than one dental visit, too. Sometimes, I want to pull my hair out! At least we homeschool, so I'm flexible with the time.

I try and schedule the kids' check-ups right around their birthday, so it's easier. But, I have 3 boys with birthdays 5 days apart-June 19, 20, and 23, so that's a hard week there.

Throw in my special needs daughter-with her neurosurgeon, orthopedist, nuerologist, urologist, hospital appts, and I feel that I'm forever at the dr!

Plus, we only have one car...our 12 pass van.


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## oliversmum2000 (Oct 10, 2003)

can i join - dh and i are trying to decide weather to ttc number 4 at the moment!


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## ~*max*~ (Dec 23, 2002)

I am loving this thread, but finding it hard to keep up since it is so long. Would anyone be interested in a weekly or monthly thread in the Parenting forum? (Sorry if this has already been discussed!)


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## AuntRayRay (Aug 18, 2004)

Dr apptiontments are crazy here too..with only four







I usually try and schedule back to back if possible..I'd rather get two-four appt's done in one shot..since I usually have to bring them all anyway







Its always chaotic LOL The only exception is the dentist appt's for Ronny (autistic), with that I have to get someone to watch the others and take him alone. He is sooo afraid of doctors and esp. dentists and since he has alot of work needing to be done its impossible to watch others while trying to get Ronny to stay in the room..much less open his mouth! We've been to a few dentists recently for opinions and we are now waiting for an OR appt. Feel for all the mama's with alot of kids having to go to Dr appt's









RayRay~


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

I prefer to get the dentist out of the way in one shot. Kinda like taking your horrible tasting medicine in one quick gulp!







Before we moved we had a great dentist that would take them all in one afternoon. They had a large open room with five or six chairs all together, so I could stand aside and watch as all the children were worked on and be with the one that may need me the most at any given time. I really miss that dentist. I have had a dentist that would only take two at a time, so I usually would make an appointment for two in the morning and two in the afternoon, close together, so we ended up being there the whole time.

I had one doctor once that would only make two appointments for the children at once (about three weeks in advance) and then would not make another appointment for any other children until those two had been seen. Which would make me spreading out our visits over the course of months. Needless to say we did not maintain that one as our doctor.

For a while, I, too had doctors appointments ALL the time, when Gabbie was here. She had five therapists weekly as well as all the other Dr appointments for her and the other children. I was always running from one Dr to the next, it seemed. I am so glad that I don't have to deal with that any more. Now, we only go to the doctor when I deem it necessary. Which is quite infrequent. For most things I can deal with them on my own. Like when my toddler clobbered six year old in the head with a mug and gave him a large gash. I just cleaned him up, closed up the wound and put meds on it. It healed up quite nicely with only a small scar. My SIL, or anyone else that I know for that matter, would have run off to the doctor because of all the blood. Oh, and just to clarify, my mom is a nurse, and I have been "nursing" with her for years, so I am not just neglecting or afraid of drs, I just know what I can deal with and what I can't.

Well, I guess that was a little long winded!







I get a bit carried away when it comes to doctors.

Max, I like your idea of a weekly or monthly thread, it would be really good. Anyways, if one is started, count me in!


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## Rockies5 (May 17, 2005)

I'ma gonna try to keep up with you!!

Hi I've got 5 and considering another pregnancy or two. We drive a suburban (chevy), and don't go to the dr. I've homebirthed the last three (two were attended, one UC) and the other kids were home (the top 4 that is) for the most recent birth.

For those that birth at home, have lots of kids..where do they go durring the birth?


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Rockies5* 
For those that birth at home, have lots of kids..where do they go during the birth?

Well, my older children are usually right there in the middle of things!

When #2 was born, #1 was jumping in front of the "baby catcher".
When #3 was born we were in an odd situation, traveling, so #1 & #2 were in the other room.
When #4 was born, #1, #2, & #3 were hanging over the shoulders of the "catcher".
When #5 was born, #1, #2, & #3 were weaseling their way under the arms of the "catcher". #4 was not interested and playing in her room.
When #6 was born, #1 was right beside the "catcher", it was really early and the others were all still asleep.
When #7 was born, #1, #2, #3, #4, & #5 were all squeezing in beside Daddy (hanging off his shoulders, crawling under his arms and leaning over his back) in a tiny 4x6 foot bathroom to be involved. It was the first birth #4 & #5 were at, and they were sure to not miss anything. And it was the sixth birth for #1, the third birth for #2 & #3, and they were not about to miss this one either!









My children have pretty much been there for every one, and I am very glad. They are part of our family, and the bonding process started right from the moment the new member entered the world. If God blesses me with more, I am sure they will all attend. My DH and my children are the only people that I feel comfortable birthing around. And the education that they have learned from being present is just not able to be taught from a book.

My children all know what labor looks like and "feels" like. They are not scared of it. My girls all plan to have home births. My sons plan on their wives having home births. They all see intimacy as a normal thing between a husband and wife, and they all see that that intimacy leads to babies. So it not only reinforces our beliefs of saving yourself for marriage, but it also teaches that intimacy is natural and something that should be enjoyed and be a blessing when you are married.

This is one lesson that I never learned from my parents. I was never given "the talk", I never knew anything about intimacy or babies from my parents. It was a great blessing that I saved myself for my husband, and one that only God can take credit for. I am praying that our example to our children will not leave them with all the questions and fears that I had coming into a marriage. It took me many hard years to figure out so many things, and I would like to prevent as much of that as I can for my children.


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## AngelBee (Sep 8, 2004)

Checking in


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## meowee (Jul 8, 2004)

hi there, I have 5 kids-- 4 girls and 1 boy.


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## oliversmum2000 (Oct 10, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *meowee* 
hi there, I have 5 kids-- 4 girls and 1 boy.

if you had 4 girls then a boy do you get daft comments about how you can stop trying now? i had 2 ds's then a dd, and when i say i would like more people look at me like i am mad and say 'why you got your girl'


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## oliversmum2000 (Oct 10, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cldistefano* 
We've got four! I really want five tho. But I had a baby each year, almost..so I'm done for now







I think I'm ready to sit back and enjoy these four and let them grow before we have number five.

Dh says he does not want anymore..but won't get it taken care to not have babes anymore. He's sending so many mixed messages to me about it..I just dont know anymore. I feel I am NOT done..and want one more. I'm 26..and just really know I will crave and long for another baby one day. He actually had the nerve to tell me if I had one more it would not be w/ him!







wtf? Nice, huh? But told me he didn't want to get the deed done (to him) b/c he might have kids one day w/ someone else if we ever broke up??














double wtf?!? Maybe I should post in another forum.....

wow - just wow


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## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

I'd love to join









We have 4 and haven't decided if we are done yet.

They are all two years apart, all were due in March but one came the last day of feb so we have a lot of birthdays in a row.

I've had c-sections with all so no homebirths though I would have loved to and I am quite jealous of those who do so.

We drive a mazda mpv, barely big enough now but if we had another I'm not sure we could fit 5 car seats.

we don't go to the ped's unless there is a health concern and luckily it's been years since they've had to be seen but we do need to get the older two into the dentist sometime soon. I imagine I'll have my mom or someone watch the younger two to make it easier.

I just had my 2 week pp check-up yesterday and I couldn't imagine bringing them all with me, luckily my mom stayed with them.

I think I read through most of the thread but was wondering about those with large families who homeschool/unschool. Any advice or suggestions on how to make it work well. I am having a hard time giving my oldest one on one time unless we stay up until 2 am...which we did last night making bar graphs for fun


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## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Drummer's Wife* 
I am having a hard time giving my oldest one on one time unless we stay up until 2 am...which we did last night making bar graphs for fun









2am? Dh and I do that just so we can get some one on one time!

We don't homeschool but I spent an hour yesterday taking my ds1 through trigonometry and graph problems while doing dinner! Sometimes I do think about hs but we have a school 3 mins walk away and my boys like school. At home we go over stuff which they haven't grasped or want to investigate further, maybe too much though as ds 2 is called jesse.com in his class! If they get stuck they ask him first and if he doesn't know they turn to google









I am a p/t tutor for basic skills with adults and I used to think that teaching my children at home every day would do me in. However I might consider it for my dd who is 4. She feels very 'other' in her kindergarten class mainly because she has spent too long around her smart brothers and can't understand why the other kids find it hard to communicate with her at all when she is a non stop opinion machine







: She's not keen on the teachers either because she doesn't like being 'babied' to or directed in activities. I have the feeling that she and school may not get a long but I'm going to wait til September and see what happens.

We have a big-ish gap between our first two and second two children and I think this has affected how dd acts and the way that she relates to others. She is very self assured and thinks its ok to talk to everyone like she does at home - not disrespectful but very direct and to the point. At the moment people find it funny and cute but I don't see it wearing off - she's my grandmother reincarnated







Do you see differences in the self-perception of your younger children in larger families or is this just her personality?


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## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

I'd love to hear about hs'ing with many children. I want it to work out BUT there are days when I wonder if I should send DD to school just so I can give the boys more attention. I feel like one-on-one time in near impossible for any of them now that #4 is here.


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## mommaof3 (Dec 11, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Drummer's Wife* 









I'd love to hear about hs'ing with many children. I want it to work out BUT there are days when I wonder if I should send DD to school just so I can give the boys more attention. I feel like one-on-one time in near impossible for any of them now that #4 is here.


Well, they don't get one-on-one time at school, that's for sure. It's hard meeting all of the needs, but I find they get more with a 1:4 ratio than a 1:20! I really like the tribe feeling of having kids of many different ages, they learn so much from each other and have so much fun together that I would feel sad sending one of them away. Sometimes I do think about getting more adults on board - either hiring an unschool nanny a couple days a week, or trying to somehow make friends with childless adults who like kids. One mama at home trying to do it all is NOT a tribe, but it sure beats school, IMO!


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## mommaof3 (Dec 11, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hlivengo* 
Both my dr and my dentist will only see 2 at a time. Just this week, I have 3 days of dr appts, to just get 6 of my 10 kids seen. It's a nightmare when they need more than one dental visit, too.

We just DON'T take our kids to the Dr., they were born at home and are healthy and we can weigh and measure them at home (the growth charts are online!) and we have diagnostic things like an otoscope, so we can take their healthcare into our own hands, it's very liberating!


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## mclisa (Jul 26, 2004)

We only have 2 that need dental app'ts so far. I remember my mom would make all 3 of us have appt's the same day. For this next round I had DH and dd2 at the same time. A few days later dd1 has her app't. I had to schedule around her school times.

I'm thinking about doc appt's too. dd4 will need her 2m appt in June and that's when dd3 will need her 2 yr app't. She needs to go to that because we are following her growth and severe food allergies. The older 2 need appt's because they each need one more vaccination. I just can't imagine trying to bring all 4 at once because I want the shots to go well for the older 2 (they've done so well in the past). And I know I will have a bunch of questions to ask with dd3. It's just hard to arrange my work schedule around the visits as we'd rather not take all 4 into the clinic if we don't have to.

How do you all do room arrangements? How many share a room? How do you do bed arrangements? Bunk beds? Lots of singles?


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## rstump (Jun 15, 2006)

My last 2 were born at home but each subsequent birth has had all the siblings in attendence.

During my last birth my oldest was going to "catch" but things happened too fast. She did get to hold the baby even before I did. My #2 was the one to cut the cord for this birth too.

We drive a minivan and just got a suburban so now both our cars can seat the whole family and we can bring a "friend" in the suburban.

As for room arrangements...with only 4 and we co-sleep this is pretty easy.

We co-sleep fulltime with the 2 youngest. The baby sleeps in our bed and my 2yo sleeps on a twin bed at the foot of our king size. Basically one giant bed. Most nights he ends up next to my husband before morning.

My oldest 2 sleep in the room they share. They have bunks beds (that aren't bunked right now) but usually they sleep in one of the beds together.


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Been a little while since I have been here, just thought I would pop in and say hi.

HI!


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## AngelBee (Sep 8, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kidzaplenty* 
Been a little while since I have been here, just thought I would pop in and say hi.

HI!


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## gilamama (Aug 9, 2005)

hi everyone, we have just 2 now but i love lurking on y0our tribe. i live in israel and follow a traditional jewish lifestyle - which includes ideally having lots of kids.







 i come from a more assimilated american family and am 1 of 2 so many kids is not so familiar territory for me. but anyway, i thought you'd find this funny, recently married friends were over at our house recently and while she comes from a more traditional family of 9 kids her hubby comes from a background like mine. he told us how when he was talking to his sister during his engagement abt his fiance he told her "sylvia wants to have a small family" sister asked for more details so he said "only 6 or 7 kids"







: here we know alot of ppl with familyies of 12 or 13. I have 2 wonderful girls who come tohelp me out for an hour once a week one of them comes from a family of 16 on from a family of 13 (her mother is one of 20). i think america is such an anti child place (i left there at age 23 but was living there for 2 years again until last summer b/c of dh job) people make such rude comments and are so unhelpful it is unbeleivable.

anyway having 8 kids phases me less than does having 3, i feel like it is going to require a paradigm shift for me to have more kids that were in the family i was raised in. did any one experience that?


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## gilamama (Aug 9, 2005)

emily, care to post more about taking hteir health care into your own hands?


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Thanks AngelBee! I needed a hug yesterday!









Life is always so busy. I am writing another book as well as designing my web site. Along with all the usually little things of large family life, like laundry that never seems to be done, dishes that are forever over flowing, school that has to be worked, meals that have to be prepared, and life that just has to be lived.

But I love it. It just leaves me little free time. Large families are the best!


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## motherhubbard10 (Jun 28, 2005)

First of all - love that comment about not wanting a big family - and she wants 6 or 7!

LOL!!

When we first visited our current church, one of my kids told someone we ONLY had 9 kids in our family! Boy did that get some eyebrows raised - the Sunday School teacher even welcomed us and told everyone about that comment! Everyone in the room laughed!

Kidzaplenty - your life sounds like my life! Laundry, dishes, laundry, dishes! I have the kids do many of the daily chores, but I haven't worked out having them do the laundry (well, the oldest 3 at home are required to do their own laundry - the challenge there is their being able to squeeze their's in between all my loads!). And I have each of the children over 8 do all the dishes one day a week, but that leaves me with 3 days still!

Spare time...that's a luxury around here, but I seem to find a little here and there - then it's a matter of narrowing down which of the many things I've neglected for so long to pick from!

But you know what - 20 years from now, my house will be filled with grandkids and I can't wait! I've heard people brag about having 8, 10, 12 grandkids - I could have so many we'll have to rent a church for Christmas Dinner!

Woohoo!

I figured it out once - if all my kids are blessed like we are (10 children each), that means 20 children (counting spouses), and 100 grandkids! How about that - Christmas dinner for 122! Maybe if we charge admission, we could get rich! LOL!!

And how about having grandkids stay over night? I'll have to have 3 - 4 stay every night if each grandchild stays at our house one night every month!
That will be easy after having 9 kids overnight every night now, right?

Thought you guys might get a kick out of what I think about in my "Spare Time!"

Now go back to your family and dream of the fun your future holds!

Ruth


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## mclisa (Jul 26, 2004)

If you could redesign your house: what would you change?

How would you design a laundry room?

Would you have a mud room? If so, how would you design it?

Just looking for organizational ideas for us as we get more kids.


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## mama in the forest (Apr 17, 2006)

mclisa ~ I would design a laundry room that was nice & large...with shelves for storing detergent & things, and with at least one very large table to set the clothes baskets on. I would also construct a way to store dirty laundry in an organized way. Dirty laundry is one of my biggest problems in the laundry room because I always have SO much of it & it ends up on the floor.

Another thing I would love is a porch or room of some kind that shoes could be stored in. Piles and piles of shoes are everywhere!







I'd love a good way to organize them. And a place to hang coats.


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## mama in the forest (Apr 17, 2006)

I need some large pots! Where does everyone buy their industrial size cooking pots? I'm not seeing them at the regular stores. I've been using two large stock pots for every meal & I really want just one big one.


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## mama in the forest (Apr 17, 2006)

Quote:

But you know what - 20 years from now, my house will be filled with grandkids and I can't wait! I've heard people brag about having 8, 10, 12 grandkids
motherhubbard ~ I'm excited about this too. I am loving the idea of having a lot of grandchildren and having holiday dinners with everyone. I plan on being very helpful and involved with my grandkids & having fun with them.

Even just visualizing my children as grown men and women is so exciting. I can't wait to see how they are!


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## mclisa (Jul 26, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mama in the forest* 
I need some large pots! Where does everyone buy their industrial size cooking pots? I'm not seeing them at the regular stores. I've been using two large stock pots for every meal & I really want just one big one.


maybe try googling it? or a restruant supply company?


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

My pots came from my Mom and my Grandma. My Mom bought a set of three from Sam's, I think. They are large chili pots. And my grandma was a canner so I ended up with her large canning pot. I use them almost daily.

What I can't seem to find is a large frying pan. I do not use coated pans as they are just no healthy and the coating always comes off into the food. So I use stainless steel. The largest one I have is 12 inches round and about 2 inches deep. I need one at least 4 inches deep. But I have been known to use my pots instead.

If I could find a better pan, I would be happy.


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## magentamomma (Mar 18, 2004)

Are there any of you large family mommas who are we shall say income challenged? Dh and I have 4 but I would like more but we are below the federal poverty line and have already had several rude comments about our family size as it is, let alone any bigger. We are onfood stamps and medicaid, although in the last 8yrs. we have only needed the dentist 4x, the dr 5x and hospital care 3x. We paid for our own midwifery care, and try to handle non emergency medical care at home. In fact our visits to the dr have all been related to 2 seperate bouts of pneumonia and a dislocated elbow. My husband does work, we pay our bills, but do rely on the food stamps so I can stay home and homeschool. What gets me most is that if I were to put my kids in school and daycare to get off food stamps, the state would be paying twice the money. People have had the nerveto ask when my husband was getting a vasectomy. This is actualy painful to me. I worry about whether I am making the right choice to have a large family.







:


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Hello from another 'income challenged' family.

Life has been very hard, and we have had all the usual remarks from people. My circle of 'friends' has dwindled to none. My associations are limited to church folks that I meet with once a week and my internet associations. No one else agrees with our beliefs and our lifestyle.

My husband works hard, harder than most men I know, but his income is very low. We make well below the poverty line for a family of four, much less a family of nine. We have been on food stamps (which we signed up for when my husband was laid off of work for eight months) and never told anyone. It is not so much that I was ashamed of it, it is just the stereotypical thoughts that are associated with it. I have been told that large families only have more children so that they can have more benefits, and every other imaginable comment. And it hurts to know that without the FS money my children would have literally gone hungry yet people were judging me because I accepted it.

I keep my children on Medicaid, as well. This is 'insurance' for me. It was the very thing that saved us when my daughter had her accident four years ago. Her care for the first three weeks was in the five figure range and her continued care beyond that was insurmountable to us. Without Medicaid, we would never have had the options to care for her as we did. But other than that, we rarely go to the doctors. I have no problem keeping this for my children, no matter what others say. No one walks in my shoes, so I try and ignore their ignorant remarks, although at times it is hard.

We know what it is like to scrimp and scrape the bottom, but I think that has brought us a much clearer picture of those in need. I have found that so many Christians (especially those we go to church with) have no idea what it is really like to _hurt_ for money. They find themselves 'hurting' when they can not buy this or that, or when they do not have enough money to go out to eat on. We 'hurt' when we can't pay our rent and have given up everything possible (cable, internet, cell phones, telephone, newspaper, and anything else that is not DIRE) and still can not pay for what our needs require (electric, water, trash pickup, and rent).

But I feel that God has placed us in this position to teach us. I don't believe I will ever be able to look at someone in need again and blow them off, or look at someone 'in need' of 'things' and feel concern. I have seen what 'real' needs are and will for all times be changed because of that.

I guess that is a bit more than you asked for.







: Just know that you are not alone.


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## magentamomma (Mar 18, 2004)

Thank you so much. I generally feel unashamed but lately it has been getting to me a little. Mainly envy, so I needed to hear from someone else. It really really means alot to know we aren't the only family. My husband also works very hard, but his income is low as well. When I told my sil that w/o FS we couldn't make it she said " then it is ridiculous for you to keep having babies. Anyone can keep popping them out, but if you can't feed them then you should make sure you don't keep having them" since she is a woman who never had children herself I wanted to explain to her that A) one rarely "pops" them out, it is usually a little more intense than that, andB)kiss my patoot. since she is single making $25 per/hr and always "broke" I felt there were way too many things to explain to ever get through to her. B







:





















Any way, Iam in a way sorry to hear that you have been hurt as well. Philosophically, I wanted a large family so my kids would learn about sharing,cooperation, communication and love on a big scale; and depending on the day of the week I'd say it was working (now if i could only figure out cleaning, organizing and backtalk, my kids would be perfect







). Also, I had a rough childhood and an absentee dad, and what has gotten me through it was siblings, so in all seriousness, I wanted my kids to always have a built in support system. I had to take custody of my brother and sister when I was 19, and now my sister and I are raising my other sisters' infant son while she is incarcerated. That little boy nursed along side my son for the first 10 weeks of his life, and if it wasn't for siblings he would be in state custody. I realize I am ranting, and at the very least mildly off topic so I'll go, but thanks again.


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## mama in the forest (Apr 17, 2006)

Erghhh, nothing burns me up more than people thinking they know what women should be doing with their uterus or body! Reproductive freedom is your birthright, and you have the right to have or not have children as you see fit!

I get some looks when I go places with all the kids. I only have 6, but I see the looks and I look right back at them. My kids are very well behaved (in public







).


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## queenofhercastle (Jun 19, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mama in the forest* 
I need some large pots! Where does everyone buy their industrial size cooking pots? I'm not seeing them at the regular stores. I've been using two large stock pots for every meal & I really want just one big one.

If you have an international farmers market in your area you can buy them there.


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## mama in the forest (Apr 17, 2006)

Thanks ~ I'm not sure if there are any of those around. I live rurally so there's nothing like that here, but maybe in a surrounding city.


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## BelovedBird (Apr 5, 2002)

Hi all.I don't feel like we have a big family, I am expecting my fourth. I guess that's because many of my close friends and neighbors have 6-12.


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## lost&foundmom (May 23, 2007)

Well, hello, hello. I feel small since we only have four girls, but they certainly keep us busy. I LOVE it! I came from a family of seven and dh had five in his. My four are all close together, my first two, eleven months apart and then 20 and then 22. You would not believe the nasty looks and comments I got when I was prego with my fourth. People can be so rude. GRRR.

We probably would have more, but my poor body just about gave out on me with me last one. I have a small frame and between carrying little ones and back probs I was just in major pain, most of the time. Anyway, but hey, love being a family of six!!















:







:


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## wildthing (Feb 16, 2003)

I haven't been posting for a while, but I wanted to pop in and say we had our 9th baby on April 30th. There were a few scary moments (I need to post my story soon...it's almost done), but we are both doing fine.
Our little girl's name is Kyra Brynn, and she was 10lb 7oz at birth, and last Monday at 4 weeks she was about 12 1/2 lb. Very healthy, with lots of blond hair.

So, does anyone ever find themselves saying things like "Remember when we *only* had 5 kids (or however many!)", and getting incredulous looks from friends? I find it hillarious!


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## queenofhercastle (Jun 19, 2006)

Congratulations wildthing! Hope you're enjoying your babymoon!

My baby (#5) is 4½ months old. He's a lot of fun and the older kids love him to death.


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## mclisa (Jul 26, 2004)

What a beautiful name! Congrats on the new baby!


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## mama in the forest (Apr 17, 2006)

Quote:

but I wanted to pop in and say we had our 9th baby on April 30th
Congratulations mama!

 






:


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Congratulations Wildthing on number 9!


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## maeveypoo (Jun 10, 2005)

Whee! I just found this tribe (I rarely come to this part of the forums)!

We've 5 littles, 4 boys, 1 girl with definite plans to have more (we'll know when we're finished







).

We have a flexible schedule of breakfast before 10am, lunch between 11:30 and 2 and dinner whenever I get it finished







usually before 8.

My DH and I work from home running two businesses, he does the internet side (building our websites, doing product sourcing, etc.) I do the creation side (sewing, building, painting, etc.). We quit our out-of-home jobs a little over 2 years ago so that we could spend more time together as a family, homeschool the kids and actually make more money. We're currently working on fixing our credit so we can buy some land with a house and become even more self-sustainable.

Gotta run, baby needs me!


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Maeveypoo,

Welcome to the tribe!


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## mclisa (Jul 26, 2004)

Jeni - how do you know when you are done?


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## maeveypoo (Jun 10, 2005)

Well, I can't answer that right now, since neither of us feel done (we're pretty sure at least 2 more). We just know that we will know


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

That's exactly how DH and I feel. We'll know when we're done, but it's definitely not yet. Baby #4 is about to turn 4 months and I'm already thinking about the next one.


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## waiting4it2snow (Apr 3, 2005)

Not a large family yet here (#4 on the way), but I always imagined I would have 5 or 6 kids. Now I hope I just manage once I get #4!!









Ds #3 will just turn two when #4 is born so I'm going to have to figure out how to cram us all into a queen and deal with tandem nursing (when I tandem nursed my daughter and son, there was a much bigger age difference, so it's almost like that experience doesn't count because I could just tell her not now, later, and she totally understood.) Also, I'll have two school aged kids to homeschool for the first time (dd ready for kindergarten), so I just keep imagining this fall is going to be completely nerve-wracking. As much as I love my kiddies, I am not good (emotionally) with the sleep-deprived infant stage, although homebirthing my last made a big difference (for the positive).

Reading about all the mamas here has really improved my state of mind, as well as made me a bit jealous,







(as in, I want more!)

We are also not so great with the finances - (I dream about being able to afford fancy homeschool curriculum!) - my husband went to truck driving school a couple of years ago and that particular career has made a huge difference for us. The food bill still scares me, but at least we can afford it every week (unlike a few years back, when ramen noodles and WIC cheese were our main staples). How do you guys with the really big families do it? I always feel like we are big pigs or something, the way we go through food, and our kids are still little - no bottomless pit teenagers in site. I can't wait until we have our own house so I can garden.

Also... dishes and laundry. Just beyond me how you keep up! Srsly.


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## maeveypoo (Jun 10, 2005)

You can still garden if you're renting, just do containers! There are so many veggies that do great in containers.


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *waiting4it2snow* 
We are also not so great with the finances - (I dream about being able to afford fancy homeschool curriculum!) - my husband went to truck driving school a couple of years ago and that particular career has made a huge difference for us. The food bill still scares me, but at least we can afford it every week (unlike a few years back, when ramen noodles and WIC cheese were our main staples). How do you guys with the really big families do it? I always feel like we are big pigs or something, the way we go through food, and our kids are still little - no bottomless pit teenagers in site. I can't wait until we have our own house so I can garden.

Our finances are very limited right now, but my children LOVE to eat. I do get WIC, but on top of that, we go through at least a gallon of milk a DAY, not to mention everything else.

I just buy in large quantities and make my meals all include a "cheap" filler (potatoes, pasta, or rice). Those are fairly inexpensive and I can feed my ravenous army for under $700 a month. And if I am careful and find some good sales or the bent-n-dent place has some good values, I can do it on half that.

But we go through about 10 pounds of potatoes for a meal if everyone is hungry, or 8-10 cups of rice, or a pound of pasta. Even beans, I cook by the bag full (large bag, about 4 pounds at a time).

But I am also very good about making nothing into something delicious. So I end up spending about $650 each month on as much as I can get and then every few months, I can go almost all month long without having to buy much at all (spending less than $200), but at that time I am clearing out all the stuff that has been there for a while.

Quote:

Also... dishes and laundry. Just beyond me how you keep up! Srsly.
You mean dishes and laundry are supposed to be kept up on?









I have never been able to keep up on those...







:


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## mmskids (Feb 11, 2004)

I just spent the last 2 hours reading this "thread" and I'm really surprised there isn't a separate forum for this yet.

Anyway, hi..My name is Katrina and I'm the mom of 5 wonderful children. 3 DD and 2 DS (Makayla 11, Megan 9, Stephen (~7), Shaleigh (4) and Patterson (1). I work fulltime and DH is the SAHD. We drive a 15 passenger van not because we need the room "yet" but because I hate to listen to "mom she/he's touching me". I drive a minivan for work and right now, we can also completely fit into it. We want probably 1 more but we'll see.

DH cooks during the week and I do the rest on the weekends. Right now, we can acutally do laundry on just 2 days a week and stay "kept up.". Dishes are a never ending battle. Usually only time the counter is dish free is at bedtime.

I also hate when people ask if we are done especially family. My mom is the worst though with 13 grandchildren (ages between 11 and 1), I can't blame her. We are getting it more from "townies" now since our children go to public school. Even though both DH and I are the most involved parents in both the school and scouting. It annoys me when during registration for either PTO or scouts, I get "I work fulltime and with 2 children there just isn't time"..One of these years I will reply with "okay, I work full time, have 5 children and currently lead 2 girl scout troop and assist with a cub scout troop and still find a few hours to help out at school." I can't wait to see that the expression.


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## zjande (Nov 4, 2002)

Hi guys.







I'm posting here for the 1st time mostly just because I'm so excited that I _CAN_!!







Hee hee. I'm just 11 weeks along with my 4th. I imagine we'll have more shortlings, only time (& our level of exhaustion) will tell.

I've always followed the QF & big families threads just because they fascinate me. It is so silly how excited I am just to be able to technically call myself a "mom of many" now. LOL I am a dork.

So, along with all of you, I struggle with the grocery bill, the laundry & dishes most.







The groceries are tough.... I WANT to shop at the farmers market & regularly buy delicious, expensive, raw, organic, homestead cheese







, & spend chunks of money on things like hemp seed oil & almond butter! Every single week I struggle to shop for healthy, whole foods, as locally grown as I can afford, AND keeping the bill down. Thankfully there's a Winco nearby with an awesome bulk foods area (not that any of those foods are locally grown







).

I also need to learn more & more how to make meals from scratch. You know, I have NO idea what to do with dried beans. I can get 2 whole pounds of them for a buck! But have no idea what to do with them.









We have gardens this year! Our 1st year, & we've gone all out & put gardens anywhere they'd fit in our tiny yard. We also have newly laying hens. We're learning food preservation & seed saving. I haven't had to buy spinach in 2 months!









One day we plan to have some land. Having a milk goat will be helpful. And I'm going to delve into soap making...

We homeschool as well & sometimes I totally freak out over my disorganization and/or my inconsistency there. We have good days & bad. The bad stress me out. I SO WISH I was a structured & organized person by nature, but I am truly not! I battle with myself with that.

Anyway, I'll quit my novel. Thanks for letting me join & babble about my groceries & what not.







I'm sure I haven't said anything that 20 other mamas of many haven't said already on these threads!


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## Brisen (Apr 5, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wildthing* 
So, does anyone ever find themselves saying things like "Remember when we *only* had 5 kids (or however many!)", and getting incredulous looks from friends? I find it hillarious!











We're not there yet, but I find myself thinking/speaking in terms of "we only have three" or "we're just on #4," because we do plan on having more. I'm trying to keep myself in a "this isn't much" frame of mind so I don't get overwhelmed later.

I do talk about how nice it is to go out for errands etc. with only one... and I remember when I only had one and it was so much harder. And I totally sympatize with moms of 1 who find running errands with their baby/toddler harrowing -- it's just a matter of experience, I guess.

Congratulations on the new babe!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *maeveypoo* 
My DH and I work from home running two businesses, he does the internet side (building our websites, doing product sourcing, etc.) I do the creation side (sewing, building, painting, etc.). We quit our out-of-home jobs a little over 2 years ago so that we could spend more time together as a family, homeschool the kids and actually make more money. We're currently working on fixing our credit so we can buy some land with a house and become even more self-sustainable.

This sounds so wonderful! I've daydreamed about doing something like this... was it scary when you started working at home? My dh has always thought about starting a business... his dad was self-employed while dh was growing up, and my dad is also self-employed, so I know it's possible, but we've been spoiled for a while by dh's gov't job with predictable hours and good benefits. I would love to love in the country -- the biggest drawback for us is the commute, but a home-based business would help with that (depending on the business).


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## birthdancedoula (Nov 13, 2002)

subbing!

We've got 4 kiddos~ 3 boys and 1 girl. Dh and I said we'd be done w/ 4 originally but now that we've got 4 here we're starting to think there's more to come. I'm about to start midwifery school so a babe right now wouldn't be the best timing. We'll see what the future brings.

My great g-ma had 15 so I've definately got the birthing baby gene!!


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Welcome birthdancedoula!









I have found myself many times thinking or saying comments like "We only had four children then." Or sometimes "WOW, we only had five when we did that."

I can't even remember only having one or two or three!


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Welcome mmskids!









This is a great thread.


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Welcome zjande!









I am glad you could join. Congratulations on your expected one. You should nearly be out of the sick trimester (hope you don't get awful morning sickness, but at least you are almost done with it if you do).

Cooking has always been one of my talents. I can take nothing and make it in to something very easily.

Dried beans, for instance, I have been known to toss some (meaning about 5 pounds) into my crockpot in the morning, add a little seasoning (salt, pepper, cumin, chili powder) and toss in some tomato sauce, turn it on high and let it cook all day.

Then for supper, we can have beans and rice, or I could pull the out and refry them and serve with salad and tortillas (don't forget the cheese and sour cream-my children love that). Or I have even been known to toss them into a pot and turn it into chili or a bean soup. Mostly it depends on what I have on hand and what I am wanting that day.

Most of my talent just comes from trial and error. I never had any classes, and though I have cookbooks, I just don't really like to use them.


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## maeveypoo (Jun 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Brisen* 
This sounds so wonderful! I've daydreamed about doing something like this... was it scary when you started working at home? My dh has always thought about starting a business... his dad was self-employed while dh was growing up, and my dad is also self-employed, so I know it's possible, but we've been spoiled for a while by dh's gov't job with predictable hours and good benefits. I would love to love in the country -- the biggest drawback for us is the commute, but a home-based business would help with that (depending on the business).

Well, I didn't quit my j-o-b until we'd been doing the home business successfully for a year and by the time I quit my j-o-b I really needed to so we could grow the home business! My j-o-b was actually stifling our business (such a great feeling!). Basically find something that you love to do and can do from home and then work on marketing it. We started off small, using eBay (which sucks, but it's a great form of fairly cheap advertising for starting out) and barely breaking even, now we're pulling in way more than we ever made working outside the home and while we live frugally, we live quite nicely and haven't ever had to stress over whether or not we could cover rent or emergencies.









Just know that as long as there are people, they want to buy stuff







If you're the one making it, then you are supplying a need. It takes a lot of hard work, but the payoff is better than any money made working for somebody else.


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## mclisa (Jul 26, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mmskids* 









I just spent the last 2 hours reading this "thread" and I'm really surprised there isn't a separate forum for this yet.

.

I so agree with this!!!

It would be easier to deal with topics individually rather than piecemeal on one giant thread.


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

I agree. A forum all our own would be great. There is so much that is unique for large families.

Maeveypoo, just curious, what is it that you make?


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

Has anyone considered that if we can't get a sub-forum perhaps we could make an off-site forum all our own?


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## waiting4it2snow (Apr 3, 2005)

Between this thread, the other big family thread, and the quiverful thread, I think we have plenty of people to create a subforum in the parenting section for large families. I would rather not go off-site. Not only are our needs/concerns unique, but I also feel it is important to feel support here in this forum, as we are a group that is often looked down upon.

It was important to me to know that there are other "Mothering" mothers who have a lot of kids. Most AP parents I know IRL have very small families. Also, a lot of "Mothering" mothers are crunchy/ pro-environment (as I am), BUT there is a widespread opinion amoung environmentalists that we should limit our procreation and that too many children is irresponsible. I know that I (with only THREE children currently) am very much stared upon when I shop at my local organic food-coop. It is a frustrating attitude to encounter, I'm sure you can all agree. Let alone being looked down on by our own families who don't understand, we are often looked upon as odd by people who practice the same parenting style as we do, and that makes me especially sad because it is so helpful to connect with people who understand our other non-mainstream choices.

Any parent who is practicing anything along the lines of extended breastfeeding/tandem nursing/child-led weaning, co-sleeping, eating healthy, homeschooling, homebirthing, along with parenting many children really do face some unique challenges that people who parent one or two can't really relate to... I don't mean this in an offensive way to anyone who chooses to limit how many children they have. I just feel very comforted to find I'm not such an oddball afterall.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Friendly reminder: This is not the place to discuss having a new forum. That needs to be asked in the Q and S forum.


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

I know I have always felt the "odd man out" in most every circumstance. My family think I am nuts because finances are tight and I still have more children. My church family thinks I am crazy, because most families there are two income families and do not understand the SAHM mentality. AP and "Natural" types tend to think I'm irresponsible because I have more than two and am using too much of the earths resources and ZPG people think I am contributing to overpopulation and therefore it is my fault that people are starving in other countries (I guess I have heard it all).

There are very few places that I can go and just be "normal". MDC (at least part of it) is one place. I have no IRL places or people to associate with that do not either pity me, look down on me, or are just afraid of me (like I am contagious or something).

But it is nice here to have some people that are like-minded.

As for off sight forums, I have quit all that I used to be a part of. I just don't have time for too much, and I have made MDC my "home" chat sight.


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## waiting4it2snow (Apr 3, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
Friendly reminder: This is not the place to discuss having a new forum. That needs to be asked in the Q and S forum.

I apologize, I didn't realize...

Has anyone here on this thread done this?


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## maeveypoo (Jun 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kidzaplenty* 
Maeveypoo, just curious, what is it that you make?

Medieval and Renaissance style costumes (as well as historically-documented garb and fantasy for custom orders) is our original business and the second which is the one that pays the bills these days is selling natural fabrics (linen, organic cotton, wool, hemp, silk) and ecclesiastical brocades. The fabric selling started becoming the main business last year when my turnaround time reached 6 months for sewing!


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## birthdancedoula (Nov 13, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
Friendly reminder: This is not the place to discuss having a new forum. That needs to be asked in the Q and S forum.


I just revived this thread over in Q&S.

Everyone should go over there and post to show there's a need for a seperate forum.

Now back to our regularly scheduled tribal discussions...


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Thanks, ladies!

BTW, can I join? I just had number 4. I know that's still an itty bitty family compared to some of you, but we're really starting to feel big!


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## birthdancedoula (Nov 13, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
Thanks, ladies!

BTW, can I join? I just had number 4. I know that's still an itty bitty family compared to some of you, but we're really starting to feel big!

Sure thing, mama!!









And I think #4 qualifies you for big familyhood!!


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## christyc (Mar 22, 2006)

I just _tried_ to have #4, but somehow trying to get preggo with 4 turned into twins and now we have 5!! Doubly blessed!









We're in a sort of small home for now (3 bedrooms-- kids have 2 of them, one for boys with a triple bunk, and the girls' room has a triple bunk even though we only have 2 girls for now). But, sometime in the next few years, we'll be in a position to buy a home, and I'd like a little bigger one. Once we have somewhere to put them, we'd DEFINITELY love to have a bigger family!

We aren't exactly quiverfull, but we do believe children are ALWAYS a blessing (whether you're in a big house or not). We homeschool, grow a lot of our own veggies every year, and enjoy having so many sweet ones to love in the home!

Nice to meet you all!


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

There are lots of us with 4 here Annette.

I'm not quiverfull in the religious sense but I do not believe (personally) in birth control and am leaving my fertility up to the universe.

Secretly I hope we have at least 10.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

I always wanted a dozen, but DH says 5 is his absolute limit.


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

That's one thing I'm thankful for, DP and I have always seen eye to eye on almost all parenting/family decisions.


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## mamarhu (Sep 12, 2004)

Subbing because I am seriously considering adopting a sibling set of 7. Yes, I said seven, Mom. I have 3 kids, 2 still at home, ages 11 & 12, and the kids I am am thinking of range in age from 6 to 16, with the 4 older girls and the younger ones boys. I am terrified! Could I really be a single, WAHM, unschooling, AP, relaxed, happy mama to 9?!? 10 if we count ElderSon, age 25!


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## maeveypoo (Jun 10, 2005)

Wow! What happened to their parents, if you don't mind my asking?


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *maeveypoo* 
Medieval and Renaissance style costumes (as well as historically-documented garb and fantasy for custom orders) is our original business and the second which is the one that pays the bills these days is selling natural fabrics (linen, organic cotton, wool, hemp, silk) and ecclesiastical brocades. The fabric selling started becoming the main business last year when my turnaround time reached 6 months for sewing!

That is just so cool!







I love the Medieval times. That is my particular genre that my novels are set in. So it has always fascinated me. (Excluding all the magic and stuff.)

I have studied the times in great detail. Mostly regarding castles and systems of government. I have not found too much on the actual clothing beyond general facts, though. Do you have a web site that I could take a look at?


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
Thanks, ladies!

BTW, can I join? I just had number 4. I know that's still an itty bitty family compared to some of you, but we're really starting to feel big!











Hi! Of course you can join. Most agree that 4 is considered large (even though for me, it does not feel like it.)









Welcome to the tribe!


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Welcome christyc, to the tribe!









I love twins. I have always wanted a set of twins. I tease my older children that I have to keep trying until I finally get that set. (It always makes then groan!)









Of course, I don't really _try_ to get pg. (That is not what I believe.)

But I do love teasing my children. And I do always hope for a set of twins when I get a positive test.


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamarhu* 
Subbing because I am seriously considering adopting a sibling set of 7. Yes, I said seven, Mom. I have 3 kids, 2 still at home, ages 11 & 12, and the kids I am am thinking of range in age from 6 to 16, with the 4 older girls and the younger ones boys. I am terrified! Could I really be a single, WAHM, unschooling, AP, relaxed, happy mama to 9?!? 10 if we count ElderSon, age 25!

Just wanted to say hi!









Welcome to the forum.

I have been a temporary mom of 10 before, and it was not easy. But I had the support of my DH. However, six of those were six and under. Your children will be a bit older, so it should be easier.

It may be hard for you, but I am sure if you feel like this is something that you should do, those children would be truly blessed. No many places would keep that many children together in other circumstances.

Feel free to pick our brains for any help that we can offer. I know plenty here that would love to help in any way that we can.


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## mammatomyboys (Aug 12, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SoggyGranolaMomma* 

Unless anyone knows of any minivans with 5 rear shoulder belt.


We have an '04 Toyota Sienna with the optional 8th seat. It has 5 rear shoulder belts.


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## mamanicki (May 31, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mammatomyboys* 
We have an '04 Toyota Sienna with the optional 8th seat. It has 5 rear shoulder belts.










This is what we drive as well. I'm not quite ready to jump to the conversion van







They are coming out with the Sienna as a hybrid next year or the year after but I think it will only be a 7 seater


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## mamanicki (May 31, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamarhu* 
Subbing because I am seriously considering adopting a sibling set of 7. Yes, I said seven, Mom. I have 3 kids, 2 still at home, ages 11 & 12, and the kids I am am thinking of range in age from 6 to 16, with the 4 older girls and the younger ones boys. I am terrified! Could I really be a single, WAHM, unschooling, AP, relaxed, happy mama to 9?!? 10 if we count ElderSon, age 25!

Ok, off topic I suppose but I *just saw* a sibling set of seven listed waiting somewhere. I wonder if it is the same group! You know you are meant to have a large family when you see situations like that and think "I could do that! Wouldn't it be wonderful?"









We recently went from 7 to 4 and wow it feels EMPTY here. I almost left this tribe because 4 seems like nothing to me. But we are going to add at least 2 more in the near future through adoption and I'd really love to adopt a sibling set as well.

I'm not sure how adopting a sibling set would work, esp if they have a lot of behavioral problems. But I know that when we had 7 here, it was easy-peasy. Sometimes easier than our current 4. We had lots of help and support from the older kids. I'm not in the camp that believes that kids be little parents just because I want to have a lot of babies but all our older kids really want to help with the little ones so there are always hands to help out. I like that I could just do a shout out "Who would be willing to do xyz" and eventually someone would volunteer


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## mamarhu (Sep 12, 2004)

Well, I am putting that idea on hold for the moment, as my mother (lives with us, age 88) just started having some new health problems and I want to see how this plays out before I start anything. Sigh. Anyway, I know I could adopt a large sibling group someday, and I think I will plan in that direction for the future.


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## mommato5 (Feb 19, 2007)

I'm planning on doing the same and am setting that as a goal. Adoption is very heavy on my heart. I want as large a sibling group as I can get!!! It breaks my heart to read of children who have to be broken up.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

This morning I caught the end of a segment on the Today show where a woman was paying tribute to her father. She seemed to be the spokeswoman for herelf and her seven siblings. She said the reason she loved her dad most of all was that "he never seemed to understand the financial advantanges of having less than 8 children."


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## naturallyspeaking (Sep 1, 2006)

Subbing, funny I just subbed another thread about big families.. There must be multiple of these... I'm 36 years old and have 2 kids (6/02, 5/06) currently but would like more kids if God blesses us with more blessings. I would love to hear about other big families' lifestyles.
What age is too old for a women to have kids anyway?


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## IfMamaAintHappy (Apr 15, 2002)

Hi everyone! Im pregnant with our fourth. We plan to adopt and probably have at least one more biological child. Just wanted to pop in on the thread, but didnt have time to read today. Now Im subscribed!


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Naturallyspeaking, welcome to this tribe (too!)!
















We do have two tribes going, I just bounce back and forth. Glad you found this one too.

Quote:

What age is too old for a women to have kids anyway?
Tricky question. For ME, I will be too old to have kids when I can not longer naturally have children. And not a moment sooner!









My mom went through menopause at around 55. So that means I could have almost another 20 years!


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

IfMamaAintHappy, Welcome to the tribe!









Hope you like it here. There are a lot of good, insightful moms here.


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## mclisa (Jul 26, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kidzaplenty* 

My mom went through menopause at around 55. So that means I could have almost another 20 years!









My mom went through around 42. As did her mom and her sister. So at 32 I see the light at the end of the tunnel.


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

I know what you mean. It does seem a little daunting to think I could be having babies for another *TWENTY YEARS*! But I am really not worried about it. I would be glad for any future children that we are blessed with.


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## mommato5 (Feb 19, 2007)

My mom is 44 and no signs of menopause in sight! She could of had an additional dozen kids by now!

I feel that once your body is saying it's time to move on, then it's time to stop. JMPO.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

You know, it's weird. For some reason, I had 40 in my mind as the cutoff. But really, who knows. I'm 34 now and, if past history bears true, won't have my fertility return for another 2-2 1/2 years, so...


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## Brisen (Apr 5, 2004)

My mom started menopause when I was pg with our first... so she was about 48, I think.

My MIL had my dh when she was 40, and then the next (& last) at 47.

That would give me 20 more years, like Jenny... except we're just working on #4.

One of my miscarriages was twins, so sometimes I wonder if we will end up with a set.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

...to just slow down?

This morning I had all 4 by myself. We went to two church rummage sales, the farmers' market, the library, and the grocery store. It went shockingly well, because I really had nothing I was trying to accomplish. I wasn't freaking out about getting to the next thing, and we just took it as it came. Is this the secret? I mean, I know it won't work all the time, but it just went so well and we all had such a lovely morning.

I think I might have the baby blues. I'm not willing to call it PPD at this point, but it's scaring me a little. Like this afternoon at the store, I was pushing Nicholas is a "car cart" (which he loves) with the baby sleeping in the sling, and the older two were happy and safe in the kids' club, and it hit me--wow! I'm really doing this! And then I thought I was going to burst into tears because it all seemed so incredibly overwhelming. But I am doing it, right? I mean, it's going to be OK and get progressively easier?


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

I do believe it gets progressively easier as you learn to cope with the little things. And yes, a big part is just slowing down. I don't like schedules. Of course, there are things that I do have to schedule, but for the most part, we take things on a very loose schedule.

Like 'Library Day'. We will go to the library, then to White Castles, and then if it is later in the day, to the bus stop to pick up DH. So we usually leave the house after lunch, we will just spend a lot of time at the library with everyone looking up their own books and having a great time. Followed by Snack Time at White Castles (which gives the children all free drinks and gummy snacks), and then we go get Daddy, and on the way home everyone tells Daddy about their day. It was nothing really special to me, but to them, it was an exciting adventure!









I think a tight schedule just leads to Momma getting stressed which in turn stresses children which in turn leads to cranky children which in turn leads to Momma becoming cranky which in turn leads to a very bad day (usually ending in Momma pulling her hair out and taking it all out on Daddy when he gets home).


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## Snork (Feb 17, 2007)

For me personally I want to stop at age 40. Thats this year and we hope to have another baby before I am 41. Then I'll seek to do something permenant. I just feel tired physically now - pregnancy and mothering and working is too hard on my body, so one has to go. Its going to have to be pregnancy (after our next and last baby).


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## nata0742 (Jul 6, 2003)

since I started having kids - I have felt that Michelle Dugger and I have been preggo together....but OMG - she is having her 17th!!!!!!!, then again her youngest is 20 months old so she is prob catching up to my 8 mo old baby - but I am still nOT having another! LOL

I have been cut off at 4 (since dh has 3 from his previous marriage adding to 7) but I am only 34 so I have given myself the mental idea of 5 yr until i feel i am done or not.....


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## GinaRae (Mar 27, 2007)

Subbing!

I'm working on baking baby #4 now, but this is it biologically. I'd like to adopt 1-2, but the hubster has filled his quiver, even if mine isn't full. I think I will focus on the 4 and take it a day at a time. Finances ARE a worry for us in this area (and we're not moving) where everything is way over-priced, houses are $600,000 to in the millions, etc.. This is where family and friends are and where we chose to settle. So I am okay with sticking with 4 and enjoying what I have.


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## GinaRae (Mar 27, 2007)

Sorry







forgot to sub...


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

GinaRae, Welcome to the tribe!









Glad you found us.

I have always been fascinated with the Duggers. I love their large family and have always aspired to have something similar. However, when I heard that she deliberately stopped BF early just so fertility would return and she could get pg again, I kinda got turned off (not quite sure where I heard that or if it is true, but it just did not seem right to me).

I do still admire them in many ways, though.


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## nata0742 (Jul 6, 2003)

ooooh - I wish i had to stop bf'ing for fertility to come back.....i comes back within 3 months pp....breastfeeding 2..........so even though I am not quiverful - my body seems to think i should be........


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## nata0742 (Jul 6, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
And then I thought I was going to burst into tears because it all seemed so incredibly overwhelming. But I am doing it, right? I mean, it's going to be OK and get progressively easier?


i got a slight case of PPD bad - seriously afraid to leave the house with or without them (panic attacks) .....dh took me to the store to "get away" while his oldest daughter watched everyone...as we were pulling away, the then 3yo ran out of the house an no one noticed because they were upstairs watching the 2 younger ones......I had DH stop and I started freaking out...with just cause I may say so!!!!!!

it did take me about 3 months to venture out alone with all 4 alone......

Annettmarie: you did it......wooohoooo - overwhelming - YES - doable....heck yea!!!!!!! it does get easier, but dont try the zoo at nap time with one child with diarreah in 90 degree temps with wooohooo high humidity and limited cash to get water! LOL


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

Usually my PP AF comes predictably at 3 months postpartum but my DD is 4 1/2 months old and no AF yet. It could be because I'm tandem nursing for the first time.
We get asked a lot now if we're LDS or Catholic but we're not religious, and it's funny because then people's reactions are confused. "Then why do you have so many kids?" Can't a person just love having children and not have some command from a religion to do so? DP says we should just tell them we're Mormon so they'll leave us alone.


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## nata0742 (Jul 6, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DreamsInDigital* 
Usually my PP AF comes predictably at 3 months postpartum but my DD is 4 1/2 months old and no AF yet. It could be because I'm tandem nursing for the first time.
We get asked a lot now if we're LDS or Catholic but we're not religious, and it's funny because then people's reactions are confused. "Then why do you have so many kids?" Can't a person just love having children and not have some command from a religion to do so? DP says we should just tell them we're Mormon so they'll leave us alone.

if it is the winter just say you dont have heat so you have to keep warm some how.

or just say we dont own a tv so we entertain eachother other ways.

and if the topic of birth control comes up by a stranger just ask them if they could explain it to you since you have never heard of it and would be eager to learn about it......

my MIL said in a rude tone "it was fun making them but not raising them, huh?" because we had 3 crying at the same time and only dh and i to soothe them and tend to the others.....so Ilooked up and said "but it was so fun, we might make another one tonight" - she walked away.....

why cant people keep shut!!!!!!!


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DreamsInDigital* 
Can't a person just love having children and not have some command from a religion to do so? DP says we should just tell them we're Mormon so they'll leave us alone.

Or you could tell them you just really, really, really like having sex.









On the PPD front--I don't think I'm doing so well. I don't want PPD. I don't have time to have PPD. Besides three kids,
--The senior pastor was made bishop, which either puts DH's job in jeopardy or means he'll be made senior, which will be a huge responsibility
--My GMIL is in the hospital with heart and lung issues
--My BIL is in the hospital with a life-threatening brain abscess
--It's vacation church school week
--I'm just feeling generally small and worthless and like I have no safe place

It's going to be fine, I guess.


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## nata0742 (Jul 6, 2003)

you WILL be fine.....sounds like you are religious - so place yourself in God's hands and focus on the little things you know you can have control over.....have you tried any PPD methods in that forum? I had my placenta encapsulated and would take 3-6 every day......twice a day if I felt I was having a bad day......


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## CrunchyCate (Jul 9, 2005)

Subbing. I have 4 and am pretty sure I'm biologically done at 4. We might adopt in the future, but for now, our hands are full!


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

CrunchyCate, Welcome to the tribe!









As for what to say, my Dh has told his coworkers, when they ask when he plans on stopping, he will stop when he learns to miss!









I have been known, when people ask if I know how 'that' happens, to say, "No, I just can't seem to figure it out." Or I will just say, "Hey, but it is SO FUN to make them, I just can't seem to stop."

They usually stop talking at that point.


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## GinaRae (Mar 27, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kidzaplenty* 
I have always been fascinated with the Duggers. I love their large family and have always aspired to have something similar. However, when I heard that she deliberately stopped BF early just so fertility would return and she could get pg again, I kinda got turned off (not quite sure where I heard that or if it is true, but it just did not seem right to me).

I also believe she said they originally didn't want children and looked at them as a burden. Then they realized that was selfish and ungodly so they conceived. It just doesn't sit well with me. They're "building god's army" and to me, that doesn't seem like a reason to have children. I am sorry if that offends anyone! It just felt so COLD! Like they still don't really want them but are doing it for a purpose. I am sure everyone here truly LOVES and wants their children!


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

I totally agree, it is not a reason to have children (so no, you don't offend me at all).

I have never really checked them out closely, only watched bits and pieces on TV. If she did say that, it is really sad. I don't think anyone should have children because they "have" too but at the same time think them a burden. Some how and some way that will be shown to the children.

And yes! I do truly love my children and WANT my children, a really big deal to me.







Perhaps it is families like that that have been the reason that I have been accused of having 'trophy' children. I never really connected it before.


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

Don't worry Jenny, we know you're not Michelle Duggar.

Her hair really scares me.


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## mommato5 (Feb 19, 2007)

I've been asked if we have figured out how babies happen and I just say not a clue and then it's done.

As for the Duggers: I do believe she was on the pill then they had a child. She got back on the pill and got pregnant on it then had a miscarriage. They then blamed the pill for her miscarriage and shunned all forms of birth control. I don't believe they are having children to "build God's army". They do it because they love children. I do admire them for their stance. The only things I do not like is that they stop nursing at 6 months so she can regain her fertlity faster and they can have another baby. If they were really trying to follow God, they would allow her fertility to come back on it's own, when God decides she is ready. There are other things I disagree with, but, I'll stop here!


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## nata0742 (Jul 6, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GinaRae* 
I am sure everyone here truly LOVES and wants their children!

there are many days I wished the Gypsies would come to my door and take a few off of me


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## GinaRae (Mar 27, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kidzaplenty* 
Perhaps it is families like that that have been the reason that I have been accused of having 'trophy' children. I never really connected it before.









Oh I see. Like a, "Look what we can do, we can reproduce!"
I've honestly never thought that before. But it does take me back to my very snarky teenage days... something about when I was in 8th grade and this woman walked into the gym (basketball game) with 7 kids or so. I gave her the stink eye and said out loud, "My... THAT woman's fertile."

And that's when my teamate spoke up and said, "THAT's my MOTHER."

Foot firmly planted in facial orifice. Thankfully I am less judgmental and a lot more tactful now








But I think there are a lot of judgements still that say if you have more than two, you're doing something wrong or you don't use birth control (and not on purpose) or you have to be a religious fanatic.

We get SO many comments just having three! Now that we're on 4, I can only imagine.


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## GinaRae (Mar 27, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommato5* 
As for the Duggers: I do believe she was on the pill then they had a child. She got back on the pill and got pregnant on it then had a miscarriage. They then blamed the pill for her miscarriage and shunned all forms of birth control. I don't believe they are having children to "build God's army". They do it because they love children. I do admire them for their stance.

I'll have to keep my eye out for where I saw these things. I believe the children were a burden I had actual heard in an interview, but the building god's army was in an article ... I thought it was supposed to be in an article on their site.

But no bigee! There are many things within the whole thing to admire and a few to cock an eyebrow at, no matter what









Not that it was our business at all... but now that it's all on TV, who can resist?


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## GinaRae (Mar 27, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nata0742* 
there are many days I wished the Gypsies would come to my door and take a few off of me










I've offered one or two to friends before.


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## mommato5 (Feb 19, 2007)

I do offer a few to people at church and friends, lol. Only on days when they are really pushing either my buttons or their siblings buttons.


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## lost&foundmom (May 23, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommato5* 
I've been asked if we have figured out how babies happen and I just say not a clue and then it's done.

That's really funny, it seems to be always old men that ask me that. I take it a step further and say "no, can you tell me?" Just to see them squirm!! lol


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## Sage_SS (Jun 1, 2007)

Well shoot.. we've got three thus far, but we want lots more! I'm 29 so I think I've got lots of time, so make sure there's room for me here in a couple of years!


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## GinaRae (Mar 27, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sage_SS* 
Well shoot.. we've got three thus far, but we want lots more! I'm 29 so I think I've got lots of time, so make sure there's room for me here in a couple of years!


Awww!
I'm so stuck between being "done" and wanting more. Well, I know I WANT more, and would love to adopt, but I am not sure it's in the stars. I would also foster or foster to adopt someday.

Hubby has very valid concerns about money and time. We're in a VERY expensive area (and will not be leaving it for family reasons and the fact that our friends - support system- are here) and I don't know HOW we could fit more children in a tiny house, afford that big house, move to the country (where you need a minimum of 1 million dollars to buy), etc..

But also time-wise. Hubby is the soul bread winner who commutes quite a ways. It's all me at home. He worries more kids will take away from the kids we have and somehow, I fear the same. I am ragged running around now that the boys are really into sports, drama, dance, etc... and speaking of that, the COST to keep them in minimum activities they love is hard. We are in NO way over-booked! I am talking about the minimum here.

So anyway, I am baking #4 and trying not to think about the what ifs of less or more. i want to be happy and feel blessed with what I have and try not to regret anything.


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GinaRae* 
So anyway, I am baking #4 and trying not to think about the what ifs of less or more. i want to be happy and feel blessed with what I have and try not to regret anything.

That is me. For the first time in my life, I don't have 'baby-fever', yet I don't have the 'I don't want more' either. (Either one is a moot point for me as our fertility is left up to God.) But I am just happy to be blessed with what I have. Maybe it is because of my recent losses, But I am just living one day at a time with my children. Enjoying every second of each minute. I am driving my children crazy with my camera as I am taking hundreds of pictures all the time (my camera can hold 1,000 before I have to unload it).







I take it with me to the library, to the park, in the back yard, to the grocery store. I snap shots just about every day. Sometimes they are eating, or watching TV, or playing, or singing, or just being silly. I don't want to miss a single thing. I don't want to forget a moment of time.

Life is so short. Things can change in a moment's time. Life circumstances can be drastically altered in the span of one breath. My DH and I both have learned over the last few years that now is the time to enjoy life. Do what you can. Be what you want to be. Don't wait until tomorrow. Don't wait until your dreams are realized. Don't live in the future, because you may not have one. Live every day as if it were your last, every minute as if you had no more. We do 'plan' for the future. We do have a 'vision' for our lives. But we live in the 'Now'.

So much is lost when you live for the future. When you 'yearn' for more children, when you 'desire' that bigger house, when you 'need' that newer car. So many times, in yearning, wanting, and needing, you don't remember that life is passing you by. I never want to miss one more moment in the lives of my children. I never want them to miss one more moment in my life.

If I were to leave them tomorrow, I would want them to be able to remember all the good times, all the things we did together, all the fun we had. No matter how simple to how complicated those times were. Nothing is guaranteed; not the lives of my children, my husband, or me. So all I can guarantee is this minute and doing the best I can in the here and now.


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## mommaof3 (Dec 11, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kidzaplenty* 
Either one is a moot point for me as our fertility is left up to God

I'm so curious what you mean by this - and hope I'm not offending by asking?


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

Emily, I read it as this:
She neither desires nor rejects the idea of having more children and will be happy if she has more or does not, but regardless she does not feel the choice is truly hers because she has given her family size up to God. They do not use birth control nor do they actively try to conceive. The term used is Quiverfull.


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommaof3* 
I'm so curious what you mean by this - and hope I'm not offending by asking?

No offense taken. My DH and I believe that every child is a gift from God. And that He will only give us what He chooses. So we trust Him implicitly by not TRYING to get pg, neither are we trying to NOT get pg.

That said, I have always desired a dozen children (from the time I was 12) and that has never changed. However over the few years and our long journey, I have come to realize that I would be just as happy to just have the ones I already have.

So I am content to have only my six, just as I would be content to have six more (not at the same time though!)









We call ourselves QuiverFull, however, I find that many QF couples feel it necessary to TTC as many children as they can. We just don't believe that (and never have).

So, we act out our faith by NOT using birth-control, by choice, and NOT 'timing' things one way or another. We just do what comes natural, enjoying the bond of husband and wife with no worries of if I will become pg or not.

(And no, I am not Mormon or Catholic.)







I do get asked that a lot. It is just a personal belief between my DH, myself, and our God.

You see. We trust God for every other aspect of our lives; our finances, our health, our home, our cars, our food. We could not very well take this one area back from Him and say we would not trust Him in that area. And to be quite frank, most of the arguments that are used for limiting the number of children you have are identical to the arguments used to justify abortion. And that is against our beliefs.

And to top it off, we feel that children are a blessing. And that each child is a unique individual. How could we choose to reject a child that was 'destined' to be ours. It is not delay-able. For each sperm and egg combo is unique and creates a unique life. If we choose to delay a baby, we could very likely be passing up a child that could have changed the world, and there are no second chances. Sure, you can have another one later, but it will never be the one you passed up. And I see the face of each and every one of my children and think of what would have been if we had stopped at two, or three, or five, or seven. I think of which of my children would I willingly forgo, and the answer is abundantly clear. Not a single one would I ever be willing to give up. And I don't want to bypass one I have not seen or held yet either.

Boy, I did not mean to write a book!







I guess I am just very passionate about it (though I do not judge anyone else for their choices). There is a little saying that my e-mail group passes around all the time, it goes like this:

_The Bible calls debt a curse and children a blessing.
In our culture we apply for a curse and reject a blessing.
Something is wrong with this picture._

I just love that saying. It speaks my heart.


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

Jenny, I am completely in total agreement with you, but minus the God part.







I feel so comfortable with QF families even despite that (little, to me) difference.


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## mommato5 (Feb 19, 2007)

I love your outlook on life!! It's beautiful and so true!!

I wish i could get my dh on board with the quiverfull stuff. I think it's awesome!!

I do know if we practiced it, I would have kids back to back, lol.


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## GinaRae (Mar 27, 2007)

I love it! I am not a religious person and hubby is planning a vasectomy, and that's OUR family's journey, but I love your outlook. It's refreshing and sweet to know families like yours. As you mentioned other QF families getting pregnant as often as possible and that leads my mind down the "god's army" route, whereas reading your post filled me with joy and reminds me of the passion I have for my kids. Sweet sweet sweet!


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## IfMamaAintHappy (Apr 15, 2002)

here here Jenny! *clinks water glass with yours*


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## mclisa (Jul 26, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommato5* 
There are other things I disagree with, but, I'll stop here!


I'd be curious to hear more.


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## mamasgroovin (Nov 27, 2006)

Can I join? I only have 4, not that that isn't enough! My kids are 15, 11, 6, and 2.5. The first 3 boys, then girl. When dh and I married 17 years ago we intended to have 2 or 3. After each ds I wanted another baby so desparately and dh really was content with a smaller family. I went through a major depression after ds2 b/c dh was done. I finally convinvced him to have one more (really long and really messed up story). I got pg right away and then had a miscarriage.







Finally got pg again and had ds3. Of course i really wanted another babe (in all honesty in hopes of dd), but dh made me SWEAR I'd not ask for more. I had agreed that 3 was enough, but deep down I was so hurting and so wanted one more. Depression was setting in again and then...hooray, I was pg!! Dh was upset initially, but had great fun with the whole thing in the end. Dh has been snipped and burned so we won't be having anymore little surprises like the last one! And for the first time ever I FINALLY do not feel like I want another baby!!


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Mamasgroovin, Welcome!









I love to see new faces in the tribe.


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mclisa* 

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommato5*
There are other things I disagree with, but, I'll stop here!

I'd be curious to hear more.

Me too.









I would love a discussion on that. It is very interesting to see where other people are coming from.


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## mommyto4grits (May 26, 2006)

Jenny, Thanks for your awesome statement on life, it is so true. That was a great statement!


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## CrunchyMomto3 (Mar 14, 2006)

Mind if I join in too?? I only have 3, but they are all a year apart, so I certainly am very busy! I was pregnant with #4, but it was ectopic and we just terminated last week.







: Very sad.

All my real life friends only have singletons, so there is no one that really understands the joys and challenges of having more than 1.


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

CruchyMomto3, Welcome to the tribe!









Sorry about your recent loss.









I am glad you made it here. So much support from moms that have BTDT!


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## ChrisR (Jun 21, 2007)

CrunchyMomto3 ~ I'm sorry for your recent loss.


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## mamasgroovin (Nov 27, 2006)

Hi crunchymomto3! I just saw you sig on another page and noticed the ectopic date. So sorry for your recent loss







.

You're right, moms of one don't understand, sometimes! But we were once there, too! Ds1 was soooooo easy, too. I remember thinking that being a mom is tough back then. HA!

Welcome!


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## Snork (Feb 17, 2007)

Welcome and hugs for your loss.


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## Abstar (Jul 4, 2007)

I'm preggers with number 5 due feb 2008 .....My ex had three kiddies who i raised they were with us full time so for 8 years have had a real tribe that was eventually 7 children...then i left and it was four......Still see the other children sometimes, they are nearly all grown up and far too busy







:

Do you find sometimes that people treat you like your a bit weird for having had so many ????


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Abstar, welcome to the tribe.









Quote:

Do you find sometimes that people treat you like your a bit weird for having had so many?
ALL the time!







:

I have very few people IRL that treat me as a person rather than an enigma.







But I have gotten used to it over time.


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## birthdancedoula (Nov 13, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Abstar* 

Do you find sometimes that people treat you like your a bit weird for having had so many ????


Absolutely. Especially in a place where the norm is 2 kids per family. It kind of bums me out that there is so much judgement. I guess I've got to learn to get used to it.


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## zjande (Nov 4, 2002)

I was JUST going off on a tangent about this in my blog (link in my sig under 'this blessed life')! My post is titled "I love creating new humans". I started with just a "yay, I love having kids" but got off on a tangent about how NOT celebrated large families are in this day & age, & how totally bizarre & opposite that is to nearly all of human history. It is an entirely new thing that other women would look at those of us with many kids & judge us to be "crazy". Our culture these days values material possessions & uber clean & shiny surroundings & uninterrupted recreational activities more than we value family & having kids. It's really fascinating (not to mention depressing!







) how much we have changed in just a number of decades! Large healthy families aren't signs of "success" & happiness anymore, material possessions are. It is sooooo weird.

So I LOVE reading stories about pioneers & settlers & other self-sufficient women in the past who had & loved their big families. I feel like I can relate to them more than the average woman of today.


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## CrunchyCate (Jul 9, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Abstar* 
Do you find sometimes that people treat you like your a bit weird for having had so many ????

Yes, quite often. Most of the time, it's not mean spirited, but it has been a couple of times.


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## christyc (Mar 22, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zjande* 
... pioneers & settlers & other self-sufficient women in the past who had & loved their big families. I feel like I can relate to them more than the average woman of today.









Me too! That's cool to hear someone else say something I've said to my husband a thousand times! Today's "modern, independent tough" woman seems so incompetent and wimpy when compared to tough women who worked farms, raised many children, and built houses.


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## zjande (Nov 4, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *christyc* 
Me too! That's cool to hear someone else say something I've said to my husband a thousand times! Today's "modern, independent tough" woman seems so incompetent and wimpy when compared to tough women who worked farms, raised many children, and built houses.









We ARE wimpy these days! It's amazing how much people used to know how to do decades & centuries past. We knew how to homestead, how to keep our families fed & cared for, now we mostly depend on corporations to do everything for us- grow our food, build our houses & transportation devices, fix our plumbing/roof/electrical, etc. problems, make all our clothes, FIX everything that breaks.... it's just amazing how little we know now. We don't know how to take care of ourselves. I would SO love to feel that my family could be self sufficient if it had to be, y'know? I read Carla Emery's encyclopedia of country living like some people probably read erotic fiction.














I LOVE it, I fantasize about doing the stuff in her book, I get so excited at the possibilities... lol.

Here's an awesome article that talks about how much men & women used to know, & how emasculated men have been forced to become & such. I love the article, I hope it isn't offensive to anyone.... http://www.newswithviews.com/Levant/nancy94.htm . My favorite paragraphs are where she talks about how dumbed down we have become as men & women. I get angry & want my power back! I want the power to care for my family like women used to know how to do! I don't know how to do half the stuff she mentions!

Um, I'm kind of off on a tangent (again). This doesn't directly relate to large families I suppose. Or maybe it does... I don't know.









Thanks for letting me rant & rave here!


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## babysx9 (Jun 5, 2005)

I would like to join you guys. I am pregnant with #11.


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## mclisa (Jul 26, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *babysx9* 
I would like to join you guys. I am pregnant with #11.

Gee, I think you qualify!

If you don't mind sharing, how old are your kids? What is it like with 11? How do you manage the mundane? How do you get out? Do you homeschool? How do you manage your time?


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *babysx9* 
I would like to join you guys. I am pregnant with #11.









Welcome to the tribe!









I LOVE large families! Are you going for an even dozen?







I want a dozen!


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## babysx9 (Jun 5, 2005)

They range in age from 14 to 1. Time manages me more than I manage it. I have a few with medical issues so we are always out and about at appointments. We do not homeschool simply because I am not home almost every day. It isn't as hard as one would imagine because the older ones do help. Also, when a new little one joins the house already has a rhythm and a routine and they just tend to follow along. Much easier than when you are just starting out with the first, second, or third.


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## DavinaT (Jun 28, 2005)

Big familes here (more than 4) are no longer the norm.
And to be honest imma2six your Mom's opinion re:" running your body down with 6 pregnancies and EBF would be the atitude of a lot of the older generation here too and I guess some of the logic behind it would be becuase they don't see the difference in the fact that here women had large families years ago becuase they had no access to birth control (yah, I know Ireland was in the middle wages until the 60's) but you are having a large family becuase you WANT to and your health, heart and means can support that, that's the difference.

As for your Mom pushing you to get a hysterectomy??? WTH? If you did want permanent contraception, wouldn't she reckon a tubal would be easier?
As for aspirin after childbirth - a side note, but ibuprofen is regarded as much safer here.
On the car isue, some larger families here opt for SUV's - 7/8 seaters.

On the trying for a boy /girl issue - my Dad's cousin (Mom of large family) had a 2 great answers for that
''Oooh (wide eyed) can you do that? Should I write God a letter (she was a Christian) or should we just do it on a different day of the week? or is there a different position you could reccommend? ''
The questioner just sort of melted away!
" I want a girl but Con (her DH) will only give me boys - will you have a talk with him for me - make him change his mind"
Followed by mumbles from the questioner and the subject was changed

She had a great esponse for the -Don't you know what causes it remark too - wide eyed astonishment followed by
'oooh, there's a cuase for it AND you've figured it out, do tell me, please'.
When asked how many children she was going to have she would always respond with "Guess".


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## christyc (Mar 22, 2006)

My favorite way to respond to the "don't you know what causes it" remark is to narrow my eyes and get that sexy look on my face and say:

"Well, first DH turns down the lights and turns on the magic... We light some candles, and put soft music on the radio. He looks at me; I look at him, and then.. Oh wait, you WEREN'T serious? Oh, sorry."


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## Taryn237 (Aug 20, 2006)

I just wanted to say hi ladies! I don't have a big family yet (hoping #2 will be on the way sometime this year) but I plan on it







DH is one of 7 (all in 10 years!) and I love hanging out with his siblings. Where I live I know many many big families (a 12, a few 11s, 10s, etc) and they're wonderful. We had trouble conceiving so I'm just hoping for 4 or 6 possibly but I will be here some day


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## Snork (Feb 17, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *christyc* 
My favorite way to respond to the "don't you know what causes it" remark is to narrow my eyes and get that sexy look on my face and say:

"Well, first DH turns down the lights and turns on the magic... We light some candles, and put soft music on the radio. He looks at me; I look at him, and then.. Oh wait, you WEREN'T serious? Oh, sorry."
















I must use this one next time.


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

I just gotta tell everyone:

OK, totally off topic, but I just HAD to say...

*To day was my
EIGHTEENTH ANNIVERSARY!!!*






















I LOVE my DH!






























An entire HALF of my LIFE has been spent married to the man now sleeping in my bed!







I am so thrilled that I can say that!









And I only have had eight children to show for it.









I am going to have to work on that!


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## mclisa (Jul 26, 2004)

We're considering getting an extra freezer, but would an extra fridge make more sense? Thoughts anyone?


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## zjande (Nov 4, 2002)

Happy Anniversary, Jenny!!
















mclisa, our house came with an extra fridge/freezer combo in the garage. I thought it was kind of silly at the time, but WOW has is come in handy! I don't think I could live without it now. I put tons of the large stuff out there- frozen bread, frozen berries waiting to become jam, huge bags of garden veggies, watermelons, beer when I'm not pregnant







, etc. It's great to have somewhere to stash all that big stuff!

I got "don't you know what causes that!?" with my third pregnancy even!!







I like the simple one word "sex." answer







. But I think I'll also use "a healthy love life", that sounds good, too. Or even just "love!"









babysx9, I was happy to see you in my DDC!







You should post more!


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mclisa* 
We're considering getting an extra freezer, but would an extra fridge make more sense? Thoughts anyone?

We have two refridgerators and a deep freeze. I absolutely think it helps! We of course pretty much keep the extra ones full.


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

zjande, Thanks!


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## 100%mom (Jan 12, 2007)

Well, I don't have a large family yet, but maybe someday I will. My DH and I both come from very large families. We just had our second child 3 1/2 wks ago. We've been married now for 3 years. We had 2 miscarriages in the beginning, so I didn't know if we'd ever have kids. Even if it doesn't seem like I'm ever going to get any order back in my life, I LOVE my kids.

Jenny, I had to write down that saying you had on one of your posts. It is so true.

_The Bible calls debt a curse and children a blessing.
In our culture we apply for a curse and reject a blessing.
Something is wrong with this picture._


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## Girlsmama (Jul 14, 2007)

Hi i'm new here! But i have a big family, 5 Girls and i just found out i am pregnant with #6! Not really sure about having such a larger family [not that five isnt a lot b/c IT IS!], but after reading alll your posts i'm feeling a wee bit better.

I have five daughters and we already have bought an extra washer and dryer. Were moving into a bigger house so that the two oldest girls and the two middle girls and the two littlest kids can share a bathroom.


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## christyc (Mar 22, 2006)

I have a question for you mamas of 4+ kids with at least one in the 7+ years old range...

How would you characterize your discipline style? Are you gentle discipline? Positive discipline? Something else?

How would you say having older and more kids has changed your discipline approach (if at all)? Any tips for those of us just now moving into the moms-of-many with older kids stage?

I'm having some challenges with discipline right now and could really use some BTDT guidance. Thanks in advance to anyone who responds.


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## birthdancedoula (Nov 13, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *christyc* 
I have a question for you mamas of 4+ kids with at least one in the 7+ years old range...

How would you characterize your discipline style? Are you gentle discipline? Positive discipline? Something else?

How would you say having older and more kids has changed your discipline approach (if at all)? Any tips for those of us just now moving into the moms-of-many with older kids stage?

I'm having some challenges with discipline right now and could really use some BTDT guidance. Thanks in advance to anyone who responds.

My oldest is fast approaching 8. Things have gotten so much easier w/ him but since he's been in public school (Montessori for pre-K and K) some new challanges are emerging. Overall though he's a great kid and really responds well to positive discipline. He does have an angry streak that's reared its ugly head just since he's been in 1st grade. Occasionally we will send him to his room for quiet time when his temper flares.

Mine are all 2 years and some change apart so we usually just discipline the same for all but I'm noticing more and more that my oldest ds needs more verbal guidance than we were using in the past. We talk a lot about his actions and why certain behaviors aren't appropriate. Its really kind of cool the conversations we have now...sad too cause it means he's growing up.


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## Nature (Mar 12, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *christyc* 
How would you say having older and more kids has changed your discipline approach (if at all)? Any tips for those of us just now moving into the moms-of-many with older kids stage?

I would love to hear some honest responses to this as I have three girls 9, 4, and 18 months! I'm very curious. I try to be GD with my three, but I find that a lot of it gets very difficult the more children you have. (*I* find anyway) GDing with one child was so easy compared to this!


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## rmzbm (Jul 8, 2005)

Well, I have #5 baking now (I'm only 4 1/2 weeks) and this morning DH & I discussed #6!







I used to think 6 was my upper limit but since I now have 5...I dunno, the thought of only doing it once more after this makes me really sad. We'll see!


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## mommaof3 (Dec 11, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *christyc* 
I have a question for you mamas of 4+ kids with at least one in the 7+ years old range...How would you characterize your discipline style? Are you gentle discipline? Positive discipline? Something else? How would you say having older and more kids has changed your discipline approach (if at all)? Any tips for those of us just now moving into the moms-of-many with older kids stage?I'm having some challenges with discipline right now and could really use some BTDT guidance. Thanks in advance to anyone who responds.


We have always used respectful conflict resolution (without any punishments or rewards) and that helps keep everyone connected! I really enjoy my relationship with my children (especially my teenager). I think it's a bit more time-consuming to use a more positive/gentle approach but it pays off big-time in the long run.

Here are some wonderful parenting resources that I have enjoyed over the years:

http://www.connectionparenting.com/p...les/index.html (scroll down to parenting articles)

http://www.handinhandparenting.org/articles.html
(some great articles on supporting sibling friendships!)

http://www.naturalchild.org/home/

http://www.empathic-discipline.com

http://www.alfiekohn.org/parenting/ptarticles.htm

http://www.naomialdort.com/

http://www.awareparenting.com/

Books:

Parent Effectiveness Training by Dr. Thomas Gordon
P.E.T. advocates a win/win approach which takes everyone's needs into account and seeks to find solutions where everyone's needs get met (parents and children). PET uses communication that is non-blameful and non-judgmental.

Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
This book is extremely helpful to understand your child's temperament and what they may be experiencing. Huge variety of excellent ways to avoid, calmly handle, and diffuse power struggles. Also by the same author is Raising Your Spirited Child.

Playful Parenting by Lawrence J. Cohen
"Play is children's way of exploring the world, communicating deep feelings getting close to those they care about, working through stressful situations, and simply blowing off steam". This is a wonderfully positive book that really focuses on connection with your children, and it was really inspiring -I've experienced more real fun and joy with my kids in the last few years since reading this!

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
A classic, in my opinion- very practical, do-able advice- easy to read and understand and apply. Not overly "spiritual" or heavy at all, has cartoon examples and exercises throughout. A perfect respectful discipline starter-book. I also like the companion book, for those with 2 or more children; Siblings Without Rivalry by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish and also by the same authors, Liberated Parents Liberated Children.

Becoming the Parent You Want to Be by Laura Davis and Janis Keyser.

There is also a wonderful book called "Smart Love: The Compassionate Alternative to Discipline That Will Make You a Better Parent and Your Child a Better Person" (detailed description here: http://www.childdevelopmentinfo.com/...art_love.shtml) that I highly recommend.


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## christyc (Mar 22, 2006)

Emily-- thanks for your response! I have "Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles" that I checked out from the library last week. The others will make good future reading for sure. I just need some BTDT support and guidance from moms of older kids and big families since so much of the GD stuff I read addresses little kids and small families. Like Nature, I've found it's getting harder for me the older my kids get and the more I have.


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## mommaof3 (Dec 11, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *christyc* 
Like Nature, I've found it's getting harder for me the older my kids get and the more I have.

Yeah, those "middle years" are challenging around here too - but again, the cool thing I have found is that a strong and respectful connection in the early years (and sometimes just "waiting out" those middle years) makes for very enjoyable teenage years...


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## GinaRae (Mar 27, 2007)

I am trying SO hard to keep a connection as you mentioned with the young ones so the middle years are easier. However, it seems the more problems we have with the middle years (my 12 year old) is making it harder to stay connected to my 9 year old. Even my 5 year old seems to react.

Worried


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## thewaggonerfamily (Oct 13, 2003)

I am expecting baby #6 in Sept and I drive a 12 passenger Chevy Express on a 15 passenger wheelbase. I'll hopefully post a more complete intro later.


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## mclisa (Jul 26, 2004)

I'd love to hear about the bigger van options


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## starbound25 (May 25, 2006)

ok I have to have to bump this thread up, I am a mama of 3 (also have a dsd who lives p/t w/ us) and desperately deciding to have #4 or not, I loved reading this whole thread and hope to ttc #4 soon despite being scared about $$$ time and patience!
lets get this thread rolling again!


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## crazy_eights (Nov 22, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mclisa* 
I'd love to hear about the bigger van options

10 Passenger Dodge Sprinter here. I love it. Much more comfortable than the E-series and similar vans, plus it's a disel and gets much better gas mileage.


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## AngelBee (Sep 8, 2004)

We are adding #5







:


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## mclisa (Jul 26, 2004)

Just looking to see if anyone has flown with their group or been to DisneyWorld?


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## GinaRae (Mar 27, 2007)

Susan, My #4 was added last November. It's not been as easy as I thought it would be! But now Lachlan is nearly 9 months and getting very mobile and it's actually gotten easier on me. He was a clingy baby until now. Now he will entertain in the walker with his brothers around him, he will self entertain around the house a lot, etc..

I think once he gets past the baby baby stuff (though I will dearly miss it!!!!) things will be a lot easier.

PS: Other moms seem to do better than I do sometimes as I have chronic pain issues and low patience. Seems like they do anyway. My advice is, if you don't feel done, go for it! DH says we're done now...


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## segata (Jun 4, 2008)

I've got a question for you mamas..did you KNOW you wanted a large family?If so,was it something you ALWAYS knew or were you back and forth or what?What's it like having lots of kids?


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## ~*max*~ (Dec 23, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *segata* 
I've got a question for you mamas..did you KNOW you wanted a large family?If so,was it something you ALWAYS knew or were you back and forth or what?What's it like having lots of kids?

Good question. I'll be interested to read others' replies. As for me, yes, I always knew I wanted to have a big family. Even as a child I would tell people I was going to have 5 kids. (I have 4 of my own & I raised my nephew, so there's my 5!)

And what it's like to have a big family ........







:







:







:







:







:


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

I have always known that I wanted a large family, as well.

From as early as 12 (that I know of, it could have been earlier) I knew I wanted a dozen children. And after birthing number nine, I am still willing to take a dozen. I love children. I love the controlled chaos, the noise, the giggles, the joys. For every con, there are at least a dozen pros!

And having children of all ranges, from newborn to adult, I have a fairly good grasp of what is involved. And I have no regrets.

And although I am "getting up there" in age (hey, I AM almost 38) I don't feel old and would still love more children.


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *segata* 
I've got a question for you mamas..did you KNOW you wanted a large family?If so,was it something you ALWAYS knew or were you back and forth or what?What's it like having lots of kids?

I always knew I wanted a large family. Never back and forth about it. I have four now and that doesn't feel large to me.


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## wehave5boyshelp (Aug 16, 2008)

I married into a big family. My husband had three and I had one, then we had one together. ALL BOYS. After a while It really doesnt seem like that many to me. Don't get me wrong, were a sight to see at the grocery store, Me with a baby in my arms and four crazed boys all 8 & under running around the two topped off shopping carts were pushing, but after a while they just blend. Sometimes I even have to count cuz i can't tell if they are all there or not - 1, 2, 3, 4..... 5? 5!? where is 5!?- Oh wait, here he is. So far we haven't permanently lost anyone







so we gotta be doin something right.

People always ask us 2 things-

1. You were trying for that girl huh?
2. So...are you DONE yet, or are you planning more?


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## mclisa (Jul 26, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *segata* 
I've got a question for you mamas..did you KNOW you wanted a large family?If so,was it something you ALWAYS knew or were you back and forth or what?What's it like having lots of kids?

I always wanted 3 kids because I had 2 sisters.


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## GinaRae (Mar 27, 2007)

I had one brother who hated me and I think that made me want more children. Often I thought of 4.

Years ago when I had TWO, I thought I was done. Ooops! We had a third. Then I wanted a fourth. Now DH is DONE though I sometimes think in another three years I could adopt..

However, 3 older boys and one baby is currently whooping my patooty.


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## momto4kids (Sep 20, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *segata* 
I've got a question for you mamas..did you KNOW you wanted a large family?If so,was it something you ALWAYS knew or were you back and forth or what?What's it like having lots of kids?


I always wanted at least 3 kids.....then number 4 came along...then number 5







: and now we are expecting #6! I only had my brother growing up for 16 yrs, then my mom remarried and finally gave me 2 more siblings







. I wanted my kids to all grow up together instead of a 16 yr gap between them. Don't get me wrong, I have a very close relationship with my sister & youngest brother despite the 16 & 18 yrs difference, it just would have been nice to have them when I was much younger too! My DH comes from a family of 3 with 2 more siblings added on when he was older too.....so we both kinda came from bigger families & knew how much fun they could be.

Although I do think that with #6 we will be reaching our limit for now









Dana


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## sagemother (Dec 12, 2003)

Hi, I have 9 soon to be 10 and I think people just gave up on commenting me on when Im going to stop by now

now they come to me for advice with their questions


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## magentamomma (Mar 18, 2004)

4 here. as soon as I met dh I wanted to give him lots of babies. I wanted 6, but fertility issues have slowed our progress, and now baby 4 is kicking my tooshie as well. We leave it up to the Universe to give us more or not. as for what it is like..... loud messy and slightly overwhelming mixed with joy exuberance and bliss.


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## Summertime Mommy (Dec 5, 2003)

I have 5. I have always wanted at least 4. I grew up with a brother and sister that were much older, so it was like being an only and I hated it. My mom and dad both had really big families though, and I loved how close they were. That is why I decided to have a large family of my own.

DH isn't a kid person though, and he probably would have been happy being childless his whole life, so that kind of sucks sometimes, because he loses his patience very easily.

Overall, its really great though, loud, messy, overwhelming at times, but still great. I would love to have a few more, even though my last pregnancy kicked my butt, but we are most likely done.

I also got my first nasty reaction to the number of kids I have today. These people actually stopped their car and gave the standard, "are these all yours" question (they counted my kids before stopping) and then said "do you know what causes that now?" and although I was slightly nnoyed I tolerated the rudeness and just said "yeah", but then they start laughing as they drive away, and the passenger actually turned around to laugh some more. I was so pissed and hurt. How is it "funny" for someone to have a lot of kids wth is wrong with that? It kind of made me feel like I was back in high school or something. I wish that I had reacted better and put them in their place or something. I just keep dwelling on it instead.


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## damona (Mar 27, 2008)

wehave5boyshelp;11957052 Sometimes I even have to count cuz i can't tell if they are all there or not - 1 said:


> http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif[/IMG]










i have 4 boys and i do this all the time! they are like the tazmanian devil, non-stop movement!


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## GinaRae (Mar 27, 2007)

QUESTION:

How many kids do you have?
How many bedrooms and bathrooms and square footage in your house/apartment?
What do you WANT?
Do you feel it's important to have a bigger house with more children?

Currently:
4 kids, 2 adults
3 bed/2 bath/1,100sq
Would like around 1500-1700sq for more kitchen, dining, storage, office space.

Ppl think we're crazy to have 4 kids in a small house, but I think it keeps you closer as a family (I came from a larger home with less kids and my own room and could go a week without seeing a parent and never had to share or "live with" my bro at all except for sharing a bathroom.

I'd like a little more functional space, but not a ton of extra space just to have "room" you know?


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## ~*max*~ (Dec 23, 2002)

Summertime Mommy, I am sorry you had to deal w/such rude people! I am so







: just reading about it. I can't imagine how you felt.







mama. We know how awesome it is to have a big family.

GinaRae, we have a small home too and people also think we're nuts. We are very happy though. Recently we visiting my BIL in his ginormous house. We felt so lost there. We never knew where the kids were or what they were doing. We kept finding ourselves huddled up together in the smallest room. It was actually pretty funny.


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## Summertime Mommy (Dec 5, 2003)

Thanks max. I needed that hug.









We have a pretty small house too. 3br/2ba around 1100sq/ft, but we like it (thank God for bunkbeds). I just moved and we have a garage for the first time ever, and it is heavenly to not have to find storage inside the house for all of our stuff. Right now, we are working on chores and organization. I have cosiderred taking a cue from the Duggars and doing different zones the kids are each responsible for, but I am not sure how well it would work out in our family. Right now, I just assign things randomly, but that means things don't always get done. Does anyone have any good ideas about delegating chores and keeping the house running well?


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## momto4kids (Sep 20, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GinaRae* 
QUESTION:

How many kids do you have?
How many bedrooms and bathrooms and square footage in your house/apartment?
What do you WANT?
Do you feel it's important to have a bigger house with more children?

I'd like a little more functional space, but not a ton of extra space just to have "room" you know?

2 adults/ 5 kids + 1 on the way/ 1 cat & 1 dog
we have a 3 bedroom house, 1 bathroom ~ 1200 sq ft only

I would like to have the following ~
a dining room or kitchen BIG ENOUGH to seat all of us
at least 1 more bedroom
1 more bathroom

I don't think we necessarily need a HUGE house ~ but as the PP stated, more functional space would be great! We have no dining room & a relatively small "cozy" kitchen & the table can only fit the kids ~ so DH has been standing to eat for a few years now & I recently joined that in the last year. Another bathroom would be nice to just be able to pee in peace







~ and the bedroom would be great so that everyone could double up vs having 3 kids in a REALLY SMALL room!

Dana


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## momto4kids (Sep 20, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mclisa* 
Just looking to see if anyone has flown with their group or been to DisneyWorld?









:







:

We have been talking about this as well........anyone????


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## magentamomma (Mar 18, 2004)

We have 2 adults, 4 kids, 2 large dogs, 1 cat in about 1000 sq feet, and we find that it isn't so much the sq ft as it is the lay out. there is a lot of dead space in our house. What I would want:
2 bathrooms
dining room with a big enough table
BOOKSHELVES
open floor plan kitchen/dining/living room


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## damona (Mar 27, 2008)

we have 2 adults and 4 kids and 2 cats in a 3 bedroom, 1 1/2 bathroom 2 storey townhouse-style apartment.

i would desperately love a house/whatever that had bigger bedrooms, not more, but bigger. right now the 3 little ones are in one room and the oldest has his own, but he has all 3 dressers in there cuz of lack of space. an extra full bathroom would be just awesome, and a bigger basement. we have the smallest basement in our complex, since we are up against the boiler room (which also means it's so hot in my place that in winter i never turn on the heat. ugh.)


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## twindaze (Aug 13, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *segata* 
I've got a question for you mamas..did you KNOW you wanted a large family?If so,was it something you ALWAYS knew or were you back and forth or what?What's it like having lots of kids?

No, I never knew. I wanted 3. But after my 2'nd and 3'd were born (twins) I just knew that I wanted another one. It took awhile to get dh on board but he finally agreed and I have 4 now. I'd love another, but dh isn't in favor of it and it's likely not going to happen. At this point adoption would really be my only option anyway.

Oh, and we've been to Disney when my youngest was about 16 months. It was fine.

As far as our house goes. We just moved and got a great deal on a big house. We have 6 bedrooms (bonus area over the garage has 2 bedrooms) and 2.5 baths. The square footage on the main levels is about 2800 and the basement adds more, I don't know, maybe another 700 square feet? It's finished down there and I use it for a kids' area.

But we were fine before in our 4 br/2.5 ba/2200 square foot house too.


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## wehave5boyshelp (Aug 16, 2008)

We have 5 boys, then my and dh. We are in a 3 bed 2 bath 1cr garage (filled with junk) in a 1100 apartment. We are house hunting for a 4 br. house, But are in no hurry at all. Something with a biiiiig kitchen.


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## DavinaT (Jun 28, 2005)

The best answer to the
"You know what causes that now?" that I've heard was from my Dad's cousin - who had a biiiiig family - even by 1960 / 70's Irish Catholic Standards








She replied - with a round eyed surprised expression
- Nooooo, you . . . you mean something actually causes that . . . you found you what it is?
Oooh, go on tell me, tell me please? -
This resulted in the other person half smiling in a confused manner and walking away.

When she was once asked if they were all hers (they were arranging a holiday at the time) - she said she was so tempted to ask -
"If they're borrowed do I get a discount on return?"


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## GinaRae (Mar 27, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Summertime Mommy* 
We have a pretty small house too. 3br/2ba around 1100sq/ft, but we like it (thank God for bunkbeds). I just moved and we have a garage for the first time ever, and it is heavenly to not have to find storage inside the house for all of our stuff. Right now, we are working on chores and organization. I have cosiderred taking a cue from the Duggars and doing different zones the kids are each responsible for, but I am not sure how well it would work out in our family. Right now, I just assign things randomly, but that means things don't always get done. *Does anyone have any good ideas about delegating chores and keeping the house running well?*

My older kids are 13, 10, and 7. Everyone tells me to put them to work. Everyone says I am lucky to have all that help. Those are the perceptions, and I understand them. But the reality is that it's not that simple!

Because they're kids at those ages, they're train wrecks! Messy, irresponsible, and their brand of "help" is definitely not what we would do ourselves. THEY are the ones making the mess, you know? And I have to hound them and watch and check up on and fix a lot of their work... that in itself is exhausting.

*BUT...* I do have them do chores often. They have some things they always do, and then whatever else I need thrown in. I feel it's my duty to teach them how to do this type of thing well, and to do it regulary. It's really exhausting, but I think it's worth it for their future. And depending on the chjore, it IS helpful... like sweeping the floors or taking the laundry to the garage. Other things are just chores on a hamster wheel... meaning things to clean up the messes they make like dishes, their bathroom, etc.

It never ends. It requires organization and up keep and motivation. I am trying to get it together still so I can be more consistent.


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## GinaRae (Mar 27, 2007)

Whoops, posted this in another tribe...

It's hard because I just want them to be able to be kids, but I want them to learn and help too.

I let them know my expectations up front -- the job I expect. I show them how to do it 1-2 times previously or coach as they go. When they come to me and say they're done, I remind them of my expectations and ask them if they're SURE and ask them to check the job again. I check on it. Whatever needs to be fixed, I ask them to fix. This could go on for an hour or two.

And on and on and on. Three kids with varying degrees of motivation to clean is TOUGH. I used to do a lot more myself but since the pregnancy/baby I do much less that I did before, so I am pushing them to do it right and for me to be consistent and PATIENT. Yikes! Patience!

No matter what, they will try to cut corners, be creative, etc. I get so upset by that, so I am really working on the patience and remembering I HAVE to check. Like the time my oldest cleaned both bathrooms with the same washcloth on both sink and TOILET in one room, then sink and toilet in the next too. Eeeww!!! Poor kid had to do it ALL over again and freaked out. I have had a hard time teaching them the abstract idea that just because you don't look or smell dirt, you can have insidious bacteria on things.

Mostly the boys have a few regular chores, and the rest of life is fun, fun, fun kid stuff.


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## ~*max*~ (Dec 23, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mclisa* 
Just looking to see if anyone has flown with their group or been to DisneyWorld?

We've gone for the past four years w/our crew. It has been fantastic. We stayed in a cabin in Fort Wilderness. (The bedroom sleeps four comfortable, or five if you use the pack 'n' play. The living room has a double murphy bed. Full kitchen. We had groceries delivered & ate in a lot.) What works best for us is to go in the least crowded times of year and go to the parks first thing in the morning when it is dramatically less crowded. Feel free to PM if you want more info. We've also flown a few other times to visit family - it's always gone well. (Knock on wood!!)

As far as houses go, we live in a 3 bedroom 2 bath raised ranch. Our three girls share a room & ds has his own. We have a nice play room downstairs and a great yard. I would so love one more bedroom though and a kitchen or dining room w/a table big enough to fit all of us. Closet space is at a premium. Good thing I'm a minimalist! For now, it all works well. When the kids are older (they currently are 2, 4, 7 & 8), I'm sure we'll need to make some changes.


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## Blucactus (Nov 20, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GinaRae* 
My older kids are 13, 10, and 7. Everyone tells me to put them to work. Everyone says I am lucky to have all that help. Those are the perceptions, and I understand them. But the reality is that it's not that simple!

Because they're kids at those ages, they're train wrecks! Messy, irresponsible, and their brand of "help" is definitely not what we would do ourselves. THEY are the ones making the mess, you know? And I have to hound them and watch and check up on and fix a lot of their work... that in itself is exhausting.

'

*BUT...* I do have them do chores often. They have some things they always do, and then whatever else I need thrown in. I feel it's my duty to teach them how to do this type of thing well, and to do it regulary. It's really exhausting, but I think it's worth it for their future. And depending on the chjore, it IS helpful... like sweeping the floors or taking the laundry to the garage. Other things are just chores on a hamster wheel... meaning things to clean up the messes they make like dishes, their bathroom, etc.

It never ends. It requires organization and up keep and motivation. I am trying to get it together still so I can be more consistent.

I am only a mama of two, but big families intriuge me so I was reading on this thread...

One of my dear friends had 5 kids in a 10 year span (the youngest is maybe 7 now?). She has her house divided into 'zones' and each kid is responsible for a zone. They have a sheet on the wall in the zone (the living room will be a zone, each bathroom a zone, the kitchen and hallway one zone etc, however it makes sense to split it up between how many kids you have) that says somethingt o the effect of "this is ___'s zone, we love their cheerful servent heart, if you have any complaints or questions about this zone, please direc them to ____" or something. then they have a list of the things that need to be done in that zone and how often. I thought that was a cool idea! Kinda gives them ownership. Oh, and their photo is at the top of the paper too.


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## GinaRae (Mar 27, 2007)

Interesting!!


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## ~*max*~ (Dec 23, 2002)

My kids are on the young side yet, but they have a few "chores" they help out with. Ds(8), who has his own bedroom, has his "room chores" where he is to open his curtains in the am, unplug his night light, make his bed, get dressed & put his pjs in the hamper. My two older dds tidy up their room, make their beds & put their dirty clothes in the hamper. All kids help clean up toys at the end of the day & whenever else they are asked. My 7 year old dd is the most amazing helper. She loves to help clean & has actually vacuumed for me & cleaned the bathrooms. I don't ask her to do those things though, only if she volunteers. I don't want her to do a disproportionate amount of the housework. The other two older kids have no interest in doing more. They will get more chores assigned though, as they get older.


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## abaad (Aug 5, 2008)

I came from a big family--10 kids. And we're planning on having a big family (more than 6, less than 10). I have three kids under four right now. Wanted to jump on board.


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## MommaChaos (Aug 20, 2008)

Hi guys







New to the boards and I found this thread so I figured I'd jump right in!

We have 5 kiddos currently ranging from 2mo- 12yrs (a mixture of biological, adopted from foster care & foster kiddos that we are planning to adopt). It's possible we'll be adding two more to the group (7mo & almost 5yo) -siblings to our adopted daughter! I've always wanted a big family, I used to say I was going to have 20kids.. lol! DH wanted 1 kid, oops!

Can't wait to get to know you all better soon!


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## DTmama1 (Jan 17, 2006)

Hi! I'd like to join in too!

Right now we have 3yo bio dd and 1yo foster dd, 7yo foster dd and 8yo foster ds. We had up to 5 kids until our other foster dd left a little over a week ago, but I'm sure it won't take long to fill our other opening and be up to 5 again.

Right now we're limiting the size of the family based on the size of my van, which seats 7, but eventually I'd like to have 10 or so. Everyone thinks we're nuts since we're still young. Most of our friends are just starting out (I'm 24 and DH is 25) and starting to get married, then we've got a house, a business, and 4-5 kids!


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Just wanted to welcome all the newcomers!


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## KQCC4mama (Sep 28, 2007)

Hello. I have four kids. They are 8, 6, 4, and 2. My dh had a vasectomy and then a reversal four months later. That was 2 months ago. I am wanting another but he's nervous about it. I'm Catholic. He's not. But he may be warming up to the idea of both! I'm 37. I'm also about to begin homeschooling the older two next month. That's me in a nutshell.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Hi there! In the interest of limiting FYT to subjects not hosted elsewhere on the board, we have moved your tribe here. You're still a tribe, which means you're still support-only. If you have any questions about the move, please do not discuss it on the boards. Rather, contact an administrator or start a thread in Questions and Suggestions. Thanks, and happy posting!


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## AngelBee (Sep 8, 2004)




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## rubyeta (Jan 11, 2007)

Hi I have 4 kids, still undecided about #5. My kids are quite spread out in age, I have trouble figuring out fun outings and activities to do with the older guys and have the little ones happy too. Like today, we spent 5 hours at the beach. The boys loved it, but it was hard keeping the baby out of the sun. We went hiking the other day. the boys were ready to go far and fast, but i wore the baby and DD couldnt go too far or fast. How do you all deal with these things?


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## operamommy (Nov 9, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rubyeta* 
Hi I have 4 kids, still undecided about #5. My kids are quite spread out in age, I have trouble figuring out fun outings and activities to do with the older guys and have the little ones happy too. Like today, we spent 5 hours at the beach. The boys loved it, but it was hard keeping the baby out of the sun. We went hiking the other day. the boys were ready to go far and fast, but i wore the baby and DD couldnt go too far or fast. How do you all deal with these things?

We have the same issue here! The ages of my kids are 13, 10, 2, and 6 months. Bowling has been a hit so far, though I'm sure it won't be as easy once the baby becomes mobile and less content to sit on a lap. We also do letterboxing, which involves hiking - but since you're reading clues, etc. you generally don't go as fast. I'm curious to see what others suggest.


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## OhMeOhMy (Apr 2, 2004)

How could I not have seen this thread before??









We have seven kidlets right now (12, 11, almost 10, almost 7, 6 and twin 2 year olds). We go back and forth on having another. Sometimes we are both really excited at the the thought. Other times, when we are feeling a bit selfish, we say no, we are done and looking forward to more "us time". I was an only child and I just love







: having our big family. Even if it does make our families and friends (and strangers for that matter!!) question our sanity.


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## thewaggonerfamily (Oct 13, 2003)

Kidzaplenty;8446826 And to be quite frank said:


> Could you elaborate on this? I completely agree with everything you wrote, so I am not baiting you. I realize that you may need to word carefully or PM me because of the UA, but I'd really like to know how the arguments are identical.
> Thanks!


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## thewaggonerfamily (Oct 13, 2003)

I coulda swore I posted on here before, but maybe it was another thread. You can see my family in the siggy and we drive a 12 passenger Chevy Express on a 15 passenger wheelbase. And... yes, we know what causes it, whipped cream and sleeping children!


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## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rubyeta* 
Hi I have 4 kids, still undecided about #5. My kids are quite spread out in age, I have trouble figuring out fun outings and activities to do with the older guys and have the little ones happy too. Like today, we spent 5 hours at the beach. The boys loved it, but it was hard keeping the baby out of the sun. We went hiking the other day. the boys were ready to go far and fast, but i wore the baby and DD couldnt go too far or fast. How do you all deal with these things?

Everyone in our house likes digging and climbing! Mine are 15, 11 5 and 2. We just spent a week at the beach (Welsh beaches - not very warm!) and they all spent a long time digging holes, burying themselves and other things, finding crabs and rescuing fishes. One day we went to a special beach where the river comes down to the sea so you can walk across the river and also paddle in the sea. The boys moved huge flat stones around and skimmed a bucket-load of stones while the girls paddled in the river and splashed about. We stayed for ages and everyone was happy.

The other week we went out with a friend who has children 14, 11, 8 and 5 and after hunting and catching crickets for ages they all spent about an hour climbing along a tree which has half fallen and is now growing horizontally, took it in turns to sit right on the end and bounce it up and down and try not to rock each other off the branches. They all helped each other out and we were just amazed that they didn't complain or want drinks or anything the whole time we were out.

Looking back at this and other things we have done over the summer I think that when we find an outdoor place where everyone can choose the thing they want to do, be it running around, hiding, digging, hunting small creatures or just wondering at the world, we have a better time than with things that are more 'formal'.


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## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

I just realised that the last time I posted on this thread I was asking about trolleys (carts) I ended up buying this mauve one and it is a truly amazing addition to our day to day. We use it almost every day for something or other and it is so great to put every kind of clothing you think you might need during the day and not worry that you are going to be festooned like a donkey.

The car woes we had back then are also cured with a Honda Odyssey imported form Singapore. After 18 months of having a car we couldn't all fit in, having this beauty has meant that we have been on lots of adventures and despite the now even more scary cost of fuel we are still loving it.

No-one asks us what is causing it. The last person who said anything about us having four also asked if we might have any more and then replied himself before I could say anything: "Never say never eh?" Exactly!


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## amynbebes (Aug 28, 2008)

Hello, I'm Amy with 5 kiddos 13, 11, 7, 5 and 7 weeks.
Yes, we've been to theme parks with the older 4, I've even braved Busch Gardens several times with just myself and the older 4







It really helps that the older two are fairly responsible for themselves.
I drive an Explorer w/a 3rd row but would love to go back to a mini van. It can be a pain in the rear to have the kids climb back into the 3rd row.

Quote:

did you KNOW you wanted a large family?If so,was it something you ALWAYS knew or were you back and forth or what?What's it like having lots of kids?
I always said that I wanted 4 kids. What's it like? hectic, crazy, fun, exasperating, fullfilling...


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thewaggonerfamily* 
Could you elaborate on this? I completely agree with everything you wrote, so I am not baiting you. I realize that you may need to word carefully or PM me because of the UA, but I'd really like to know how the arguments are identical.
Thanks!

My statement :
"And to be quite frank, most of the arguments that are used for limiting the number of children you have are identical to the arguments used to justify abortion. And that is against our beliefs."

*"Why get an abortion?"*
Here is one link that lists reasons why women get abortions:

Why do women seek abortions?

Now:

*"Why use Birth Control?"*

~They do not have the financial resources to bring up a child.

~They are not ready for the responsibility of raising a child.

~They feel their life would be changed too much. She might have a plan for her future (education, developing a career, etc.) that does not allow for having a child at the present time.

~Her relationship with her partner is in difficulty.

~They are too young.

~The children are grown and they do not want to start another family.

~They have all the children they can handle, or all the children they want.

~They are afraid that they will have "too many" children.

Oh, and don't forget the old "over population" thing.

Sound familiar? The "reasons" are almost identical. And most of them come back to selfish reasons (_MY lifestyle is more important than having another child, My career is more important, it is just the wrong time, I just don't want any more, I paid my dues and now it's time for me to have my life back, etc._) or fear and lack of trust in God (_I can't handle more, we can't afford more, etc._).

I think when a person strips away all the excuses they have and go all the way to the core of the reasons for not having a child, in almost all of the cases selfishness or lack of trust in God are the root causes. (I can hear my child asking, "But why?" as I explain something, and I have to keep going deeper until there is no more "why's" left.)

And since selfishness is a sin, anything that springs from selfishness is wrong. And lack of trust in God is also a sin, therefore the same thing applies.

I won't judge anyone for their choices, but most people just accept it as "normal" and never give it a moments thought.

And I am not saying that there may not be a legitimate reasons for preventing a child, but I really believe it is something that should never be taken lightly and that before one does so, they should dig really deep to find the core of their reasoning.

Why are they really opposed to trusting in God for their fertility? What are they basing their decision on? Because a decision in a Christian's life should not be based on sin or fear.

Anyways, that is my "theology" behind my comment. Hope it answered your question.


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## ~*~MamaJava~*~ (Mar 7, 2004)

we're a good-sized family now ... 4 little ones 5 and under! i don't know if there will be more - probably not, but never say never!

since mine are as close in age as they are







it's easy to find activities that work for everyone. what's not easy: getting my house clean! do all of you have an issue with that? mine's not horrible, but i can never get it all clean at once any more.


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

I just love







the part of house cleaning where you spend hours making it look really nice, and then the children enter the room, and poof! In five minutes, it looks like you haven't cleaned in weeks!

Most days, I am just happy if I can see the floor!


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## ~*~MamaJava~*~ (Mar 7, 2004)

Jenny, thanks for your birth control-related post ... that is how I have felt for years but dh and i are struggling with it at the moment - even our pastor feels that bc is not a big deal. and it's scary to be that trusting!


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## OhMeOhMy (Apr 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kidzaplenty* 
I just love







the part of house cleaning where you spend hours making it look really nice, and then the children enter the room, and poof! In five minutes, it looks like you haven't cleaned in weeks!

Most days, I am just happy if I can see the floor!









I could have written this post!!

Yesterday I spent *over an hour* in the bathroom. Taking all of the elastics, hair products, brushes and other assorted crap (WHY is the light saber in the bathroom???!?!) off of the counters and back where they go. Picked up the clothing, bath toys and shoes off of the floor too. Left to go grab the detangler in my room, got sidetracked with bum changes (and some other stuff) and came back to A HUGE MESS. Serious, I came back in and the rolls of TP were all over the floor. The elastic/clip bin was emptied on to the counter between the sinks, the brushes were IN the sink and my cloth pads were all over the floor (they were dumped out of their basket in the search for the brushes). Sigh.


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## starbound25 (May 25, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *OhMeOhMy* 
I could have written this post!!

Yesterday I spent *over an hour* in the bathroom. Taking all of the elastics, hair products, brushes and other assorted crap (WHY is the light saber in the bathroom???!?!) off of the counters and back where they go. Picked up the clothing, bath toys and shoes off of the floor too. Left to go grab the detangler in my room, got sidetracked with bum changes (and some other stuff) and came back to A HUGE MESS. Serious, I came back in and the rolls of TP were all over the floor. The elastic/clip bin was emptied on to the counter between the sinks, the brushes were IN the sink and my cloth pads were all over the floor (they were dumped out of their basket in the search for the brushes). Sigh.









: just writing to say I can relate!
some days I can barely see the kitchen table, when its time to eat diner I am tempted some days to just take the whole table cloth and whatever is on it and dump it in the garbage!


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## Dillpicklechip (Nov 10, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *OhMeOhMy* 
I could have written this post!!

Yesterday I spent *over an hour* in the bathroom. Taking all of the elastics, hair products, brushes and other assorted crap (WHY is the light saber in the bathroom???!?!) off of the counters and back where they go. Picked up the clothing, bath toys and shoes off of the floor too. Left to go grab the detangler in my room, got sidetracked with bum changes (and some other stuff) and came back to A HUGE MESS. Serious, I came back in and the rolls of TP were all over the floor. The elastic/clip bin was emptied on to the counter between the sinks, the brushes were IN the sink and my cloth pads were all over the floor (they were dumped out of their basket in the search for the brushes). Sigh.

I only have three kids, so I am a lurker here...but I just wanted to say I can relate to this too! I KNOW that when relatives enter our home they think to themselves that I suck at housecleaning...when in fact I spend several hours doing it every day. But both my older kids are so messy, they just go right behind me and mess up what I've cleaned! The bathroom is especially bad. It never smells fresh no matter how much I clean, because my 3 year old ds likes to pee on the floor!







:


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## magentamomma (Mar 18, 2004)

OMG I know! My DH, and my friends without large families have no idea about how fast the mess gets made. It can literally happen in the 5 minutes I am showering, or taking a potty break and then !%#*KABLOOEY!&[email protected]#! the hour of work I just did is obliterated.


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## OhMeOhMy (Apr 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *magentamomma* 
!%#*KABLOOEY!&[email protected]#!

I'm just







: over here over that word/sound.


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## damona (Mar 27, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dillpicklechip* 
The bathroom is especially bad. It never smells fresh no matter how much I clean, because my 3 year old ds likes to pee on the floor!








:

i have 4 boys. i have yet to figure out how it is that 5 minutes after i scrub the entire bathroom -walls, floors, toilet and all- it smells like a cage at the zoo again! i keep swearing that the next toilet we get, i'm gonna paint a bullseye in the bowl. dh doesn't believe me. i keep telling him "you just watch me!"

as far as the rest of the house... i am sick right now and i just don't care. obviously, dh doesn't either, as he is snoring, loudly, on the couch behind me, rather than pick up the [email protected] off the living room floor. oh well, as long as i can get to the kitchen and the bathroom, i'll worry about the rest of it later


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## ~*max*~ (Dec 23, 2002)

I am glad to see these housekeeping posts. I fell like I am cleaning All. The. Time. and am never done.There are 6 of us, plus a big dog, all in a small house - it's a never ending battle. The worst for me is the floors - ceramic tile & hardwoods upstairs, carpet downstairs. I vacum the whole house about every other day, and wash the floors about once a week, but it could use so much more. And yes, I too get very annoyed w/cleaning up everyone's mess in the bathroom! Oh, and the crumbs (all over the table, chairs, floor) everywhere after a meal or snack is a big pet peeve. (I must say "please eat over your plate" 10x/day!) I work pretty hard at teaching the kids to clean up after themselves, put one toy away before they get out another, clean up the playroom before bed, etc. For the most part they do pretty well if I stay on them about it. But sometimes it's just quicker & easier to do it myself.

Thanks for letting me get that vent out!


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## ollineeba (Apr 12, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thewaggonerfamily* 
And... yes, we know what causes it, whipped cream and sleeping children!


















That made me laugh out loud.. too funny


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