# kids roaming the neighborhood unsupervised



## MovingMomma (Apr 28, 2004)

What age is appropriate for kids to roam the neighborhood w/out supervision? We have kids as young as 5 in our backyard for an hour or more at a time. They go from one house to another w/out checking in at home. We live in a semi-rural area...each yard is at least half an acre, and we're 15 minutes from town. The neighborhood does have a family friendly feel, but it's a transient community (military).


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## mama_mojo (Jun 5, 2005)

It would really depend on the child involved. I would let a 6 yo wander like that IF I knew she was wandering. I cannot imagine a 5yo with this liberty, but I know I did when I was that age. In the right neighborhood, where the child might chat with neighbors or play with kids along the way, I don't think I would mind. My mother's rule was we had to stay outside so she could call us. If we wanted to play IN someone's house, we had to check in first.


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## lotusdebi (Aug 29, 2002)

It depends on the neighborhood and the parents comfort level. In my neighborhood, kids are roaming around the age of 4. I'm much more strict than most of my neighbors; I expect my almost-7 year old to check in with me when he changes location. I also peek outside every so often to make sure I know where he is. Whenever a kid wants to come over to play - inside or outside - I tell them that they have to check with their parents (unless I already know their parents won't care, which is the case for a few of the older kids).


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## Astrogirl (Oct 23, 2007)

My own kids? 18. Other people's kids? 5.

Sorta kidding. I'm a little paranoid about my own daughter, but it doesn't bother me to see kids as young as 5 or 6 hanging out in our yard.


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## 2shy2post (Oct 11, 2005)

I doubt this is going to truly answer your question...

I think it really depends on your personal knowledge of the neighborhood and your kids.

In my neighborhood with my children - it's going to be SEVERAL years (they are currently 6 & 4.5). However, this is based on my 4.5yo's history of wandering/distractedness - the fact that we live in an area where I know our immediate neighbors, but not much further, and we live on a main street that connects two subdivisions & people drive down it at 45mph.

If the neighborhood were a bit different and both my children had the sense of my 6yo - I'd probably be a bit more comfortable. Though, I, personally think it's really a better idea to know where they are at instead of wandering throughout the day.

I would love for them to have the freedom that I did when I was younger. Though, the truth is there was a pedophile living in our neighborhood when I was growing up, no one knew (heavily SAHM, heavily interactive and connected families - he just flew under the radar which is what *they* do sometimes). Numerous children in the neighborhood were abused or witnessed things (still constitutes abuse to me!)

I prefer to know where my kids are at and whose home they are in.

On the flipside. I want to know the parents of children who are in my home. I want to have a repore with them. I get a sense of their parenting style, know any issues or "working on" with their children & can talk with them comfortably if I've had any "trouble" with their child. I dont' want someone else disciplining my children without my knowledge. I like that the other moms & I can chat - even with different styles and are comfortable with how we handle things.

Okay... I've blabbed enough... it's all that coffeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!


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## lindberg99 (Apr 23, 2003)

What's bothering you about the situation? ie, Do you feel like you're responsible for where the kids go after they leave your yard? Do you think it's unsafe for the children? Are the kids misbehaving in your yard? Do you think the parents are being irresponsible?

I think you need to think about why it bugs you and then figure out what you can do to set your mind at ease. Like if you feel uncomfortable that the parents don't know where there kids are after they leave your yard, maybe you could always call their parents and say "The kids left here and are going to the Smith's" or wherever.


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## MovingMomma (Apr 28, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lindberg99* 
What's bothering you about the situation?

I just looked at all these little kids & thought, "It's a good thing we are good people." DH & I were showing them our chickens & chicks, talking w/them, etc. for a good half hour, and then we went back inside & they stayed for another half hour or hour. We were just out of sight of their houses. We've only briefly met the parents. _I_ wouldn't be comfortable not knowing where my 5 year old was, who she was with, etc.

And they've been over every day since, usually at dinner time or bedtime, which is a little annoying b/c my girls want to go out & play too!







But that's not a big concern, just a minor annoyance.


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## kirstenb (Oct 4, 2007)

We have kids as young as 4 and 5 roaming around. It's a little different as we live on a military base and don't have our own backyard- there are open areas with playgrounds behind all the houses. Most kids don't go too far from home (within yelling distance), but I have seen kids at the playground that I know don't live in our immediate housing group.


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## Lisa85 (May 22, 2006)

7-8 seems to be the norm here. That being said, they could easily be tall/mature 5 or 6 year olds.

I'm not sure what age I'll feel comfortable with my kids roaming the neighborhood. Maybe around 8-9, and then just on our immediate block. If they want to go to the next block down or over, they'd need to check in first. They'd also need to ask first if they can play inside a friend's house.


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## SandraS (Jan 18, 2007)

Depends on the kids. Mine walk to school starting at 5, and shortly after that (maybe 6), they can go visit friends, walk around, go to the park, whatever. They know it's safe, they know the "rules" (stay out of the road, etc.), they know where we live, and they know when to be home.

My four year old is starting to explore our street. It's wonderful to instil the confidence, maturity, experience, and responsibility to allow them to learn about the neighborhood, meet the neighbors, make new friends.


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## MovingMomma (Apr 28, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kirstenb* 
We have kids as young as 4 and 5 roaming around. It's a little different as we live on a military base

All the families are military, including us. Maybe this is where it comes from...living on base.


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## confustication (Mar 18, 2006)

DD started wandering (about a half a block) to the park at age 6. At 7 1/2 she's allowed to go to her grandparents, the library, the park (now about 6 blocks), or anywhere within 'reasonable' distance as long as we know where she's going and how she plans to get there. I don't let her wander to other people's houses because I think it's really rude. I don't like when other people's kids randomly show up here, and I don't let her do that to someone else without planning/communication.

We also have walkie-talkies (the big 5 mile range sort) that we will hand her if she's going to the park or somewhere out of sight, and we do check in occasionally, or tell her it's time to come home.

All of that said, we live in a TEENY community, and most of her friends have been 'wandering' since age 4, some younger than that with an older sibling. It doesn't make me comfortable, but they aren't my children.


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## lindberg99 (Apr 23, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MovingMomma* 
And they've been over every day since, usually at dinner time or bedtime, which is a little annoying b/c my girls want to go out & play too!







But that's not a big concern, just a minor annoyance.

We get kids showing up then too. I tell them that we are eating and they can't play and they leave but I know what you mean about it being annoying. I mean, I'd think at some point these kids would realize not to come over from like 6 to 7 but they just don't seem to. And they are older, 8 and 9 yo. I've heard some people do things like put out a flag when it's okay for kids to come over, would something like that work for you? Who knows if it would help though.


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## Mountaingirl79 (Jul 12, 2008)

Well, with us, my almost 9 year old is allowed to but my 6 year old isn't. If we lived in a rural area, I would let him too but we don't. Also, Emmett is an immature 6 year old and Eli is a mature 9 year old so I'm taking their personality and maturity into account. ( When Eli was 6, he acted a lot older than Emmett at 6....I wonder why...but that's a different post for a different time...lol)


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## lotusdebi (Aug 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *confustication* 
We also have walkie-talkies (the big 5 mile range sort) that we will hand her if she's going to the park or somewhere out of sight, and we do check in occasionally, or tell her it's time to come home.

What kind do you use? I've been considering this option for a while now, but keep reading bad reviews for most of them. I'd love a recommendation!


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## mommy68 (Mar 13, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Astrogirl* 
My own kids? 18. Other people's kids? 5.

Sorta kidding. I'm a little paranoid about my own daughter, but it doesn't bother me to see kids as young as 5 or 6 hanging out in our yard.

I agree partly, however, I would have a problem with a child that young hanging out. What if something were to happen to the child and they were injured or got lost or abducted? I bet the parents would be out there pointing fingers in a second.







I'm not exactly fond of parents that allow their children to roam their neighborhood without someone watching them and checking on them often.


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## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

sounds similar to my area (semi-rural, away from town, houses 1/2-1 acre away) and yes, there are often kids playing wherever, in other's yards as young as 5. My DD's friend up the road (who just turned 6) loves to ride her little jeep over to see us, with her parents permission, of course but on her own. While I wouldn't be comfortable with my 4 yo playing out in the front w/o an adult (my 6 and 8 yr old, yes, depending on where they were going; it's on a case by case basis and not the 6 yo alone). I don't fear anything bad happening to them via a "bad guy" or what have you. Here, the danger lies in coyotes but they are rarely out during the day and seem to be more afraid of humans than we are of them.

As for other kids, if they are bugging me (like inside my house and it's causing me any stress) I will send them home.







I do know the parents phone numbers of the kids that do come by, so it's not like they are some random neighborhood kids I've never seen. I've called before to say it's getting late, come pick so-and-so up, or just a heads up I am sending them home. I often, also, have my older two kids walk the other kid up the street home so they don't have to go alone. I'm talking kids who live a block or less away, but here the roads are dirt and even the girl who we say "lives across the street" isn't a few seconds away or anything (more like a 3-5 min walk up the road).


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommy68* 
I agree partly, however, I would have a problem with a child that young hanging out. What if something were to happen to the child and they were injured or got lost or abducted? I bet the parents would be out there pointing fingers in a second.









Jump to conclusions much? I let dd wander around our townhouse complex, and if something happened to her, I'd be devastated and certainly wouldn't be pointing fingers.

OP: It really depends on the child and the neighbourhood. DD was allowed out without supervision last year, a couple of months after she turned 5. She has two rules - she has to check in if she changes location, and she has to come in without throwing a fit when we call her/come get her. She needs a very occasional reminder about the first, and we have a lot of trouble with the second. DS2 is almost 4. Unless something changes _very_ drastically between now and next summer, he won't be allowed out unsupervised at 5. He doesn't have the impulse control to avoid running into the street, and is too prone to thinking that instructions from us (eg. "time to come in") are precursors to a game of tag. OTOH, I won't be pregnant next summer, either, so he'll be able to get more outside time.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Drummer's Wife* 
Here, the danger lies in coyotes but they are rarely out during the day and seem to be more afraid of humans than we are of them.

There is that. Coyotes never come into our actual complex, but they are occasionally seen in the woods out back. When there are coyotes (or a bear) around, we supervise a little more stringently.


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## cappuccinosmom (Dec 28, 2003)

It would depend on the neighborhood and the neighbors.

Our neighborhood isn't bad socially, but safety-wise it makes me cringe to see kids running around or using our hill with skateboards. People do *not* drive carefully or slowly here, and there are hills and corners and stop signs in weird places so it's not safe.


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## Smithie (Dec 4, 2003)

I think it depends a whole lot on the neighborhood setup.

My neighborhood is a very typical middle-class American neighborhood - private fenced backyards, we don't know most of our neighbors, etc. My children will never wander in this neighborhood, and will never play with wandering kids in our front yard, and will not be allowed to let wandering kids into our fenced backyard unless I call their homes to get permission from their parents.

Other people here let their (ages 6 or so and up, sometimes younger if they have a sibling out there) hang out together play ball games and ride bikes in the street. That's the social norm. I think it's incredibly dangerous. There is all kind of traffic going through this development, and the adults do not hang out in the front yards supervising, and the adults generally don't know each other or which kids belong to which house.

Now, if I lived on a kibbutz or in an intentional community or a medieval village or something like that, I'm sure I would have a different take on this issue...


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## foreverinbluejeans (Jun 21, 2004)

In Indiana the law is 12! Kids can walk a mile or more to school but they can't be out without someone older than 12 any other time. If you call CPS when a small child (age 3 or 4) is alone they usually ask you if you really want to put the child through having the police come and ask you to take the kid in and find the parents.

The law is used to do things like kick people out of section 8 housing or university family housing.


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

:

dd is 5, she sometimes 'roams' the neighborhood. The rules for both kids (5 and 8) are:
They have to tell us where she's going.
They have to check in with us if she goes somewhere else.
If they are not where she said they would be, they comes in.

We do have the phone #s of all the houses where she'd be likely to be, and we have talked to the parents. So, it's not like they're unknown. Last year when she was 4, we were out there with her. This year, I trust her a bit more, I know the houses where she's going and I trust all the parents.


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## Breeder (May 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *foreverinbluejeans* 
In Indiana the law is 12! Kids can walk a mile or more to school but they can't be out without someone older than 12 any other time. If you call CPS when a small child (age 3 or 4) is alone they usually ask you if you really want to put the child through having the police come and ask you to take the kid in and find the parents.

The law is used to do things like kick people out of section 8 housing or university family housing.

Wow! This is really good to know. We just moved across the river to IN and I had NO idea of this law. I'm not in section 8 or university housing but I'm also not a big fan of the chance that someone would have the police come anyway on my kid.


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## vm9799 (Feb 1, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *foreverinbluejeans* 
In Indiana the law is 12! Kids can walk a mile or more to school but they can't be out without someone older than 12 any other time. If you call CPS when a small child (age 3 or 4) is alone they usually ask you if you really want to put the child through having the police come and ask you to take the kid in and find the parents.

The law is used to do things like kick people out of section 8 housing or university family housing.

please tell me where you got this info?? i've lived in indiana my whole life and not only have never heard of this law, but have several police officers that live in my neighborhood where children under the age of 12 play unattended all the time. my understanding is that there isn't an actual law in place for this, but rather police deal with this on a case by case basis......and actually it wasn't for kids outside playing while a parent was home, it was for leaving a child home all alone. we own our home in the city though. no one in our neighborhood is in any sort of restricted housing or section 8 or anything. never even heard of this.









my 12 year old dd and my almost 10 year old ds have friends all over the neighborhood and i'm totally confident in letting them ride bikes up to the neighborhood coffee house or running around the neighborhood with their friends.....several of them the kids of already mentioned police officers whose children are running around with mine. i'm a sahm and require them to check in with me before changing location, etc. they both wear watches and come home every hour or so to check in as well. our neighborhood is crawling with kids playing, especially now that it's summer, and we know all of the parents around us.

ETA: after a quick search on our state website it is conclusive that indiana doesn't have a law for age limit for leaving a child home alone unattended. therefore there is no law stating that children under the age of 12 can't be outside playing unattended. you can read up on this here and here is everything you ever wanted to know about indiana law. i suppose if that is a university law then it's because they can make up their own rules.....but i'm not seeing where that is an actual indiana law. but i intend to ask my dh's friend who's a police officer tomorrow to get a concrete answer as now i'm curious.


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## MoonStarFalling (Nov 4, 2004)

We live in a very similar neighborhood. I let my 7 year old go around the block with a walkie talkie. I think it will be a few more years before he's allowed to roam freely. There are other kids his age though that roam and don't have to check in at home at all.


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## DariusMom (May 29, 2005)

my kid roams to a limited degree. he's 6.5. We live in a neighborhood full of kids with very limited car traffic (we live in europe). DS is naturally a pretty cautious kid, too. I don't feel the need to supervise him, and I'm glad of it.


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