# Why do schools allow boys and girls to use the swimming pool at the same time?



## 3900 (Jun 17, 2015)

Why do schools allow boys and girls to use the swimming pool at the same time?
at my daughters schools from 8th -10th grade, in PE she attends the swim unit and boys and girls have it together? Why is this allowed? Wouldn't this make girls feel uncomfortable and give immature boys an opportunity to harass and humiliate girls? And cause distractions and goofing off among everyday? Not to mention young boys will be shirtless around young girls and I think that is inappropriate especially in a school setting My daughter keeps saying she does not care but she is young and may not understand how wrong this is this just seems wrong especially at school. Giving a boys a chance to leer at girls like this this class also pretty much just gives students to look at all the other students in bathing suits. What is this a party or something? How is this appropriate for school? Why is the school providing an avenue for voyeurism? 
can people really say honestly that young boys and girls will concentrate on swimming while they are around each other in bathing suits and not goof off? That boys (who aren't known for sensitivity) won't use this opportunity to harass or tease girls? 
what reason do they have to put them together? They can easily separate boys and girls buy taking the boys of another gym class and putting them with the boys in the gym class doing the swim unit and the same with girls. 
Cam someone please tell me the benefits and why exactly boys and girls should swim together in school? What is the reason?


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## moominmamma (Jul 5, 2003)

When we go to the beach or a pool there are always people of the opposite gender there. All the swim classes my kids have ever done have been mixed gender and I've never encountered any problems. I just came from a gymnastics show where there were boys and girls of all ages in the same room wearing skimpy body-hugging lycra, and I never gave it a second thought, nor did the kids. 

If seeing other kids wearing appropriate athletic wear is resulting in behavioural problems, I think the behaviour should be dealt with. If the athletic wear is inappropriate, that should be dealt with. 

What if there's a lesbian in your dd's class who has the chance to admire your dd's swimsuit-clad body? By your logic wouldn't the 5-15% of students who are LGBT need to have individual swim lessons lest they be distracted by same-gendered bodies?

I would suggest you take your cues from your daughter on this. She doesn't care; it's not a problem for her. Don't project your own worries and create a problem that isn't there. 

Miranda


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## AllisonR (May 5, 2006)

3900 said:


> can people really say honestly that young boys and girls will concentrate on swimming while they are around each other in bathing suits and not goof off?


Yes, honestly, they can concentrate on swimming and having fun. What do you think they are thinking about, sex? Just because they are swimming? Makes no sense. Also, this means you can never take your children to a beach. Or a public, private or semi-private swimming pool, unless it is one that specifically caters to specific groups at specific times of the day. You also can't take your kids to any sort of gym or sports place, as many people there will be in tanks, sports bras, shorts, gymnastic leotards... clothing similar to bathing suits.


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## Linda on the move (Jun 15, 2005)

My kids were on swim teams for years. They were few things less attractive than a kid wearing a swim cap and goggles. When kids are SWIMMING, they are in the water, and therefore completely covered up. Heck, their heads come out only long enough to breath. 


I think you are confusing SWIMMING as a sport and a work out with screwing around at a pool. Hopefully, your kid's school isn't wasting PE with screwing around. My kid's school doesn't have a pool, but PE time is pretty intense. (I'm sure some of the kids look far sexier in the land PE clothes than they would in caps and goggles). 


The only people I know who have issues with boys and girls seeing each other in swim suits feel that way for religious reasons. It's their right, and I'm sure that they can opt their child out, but it isn't a view that works for me. 


For me, I felt far more comfortable teaching my daughters to see their own bodies in terms of functionality -- strength, speed, endurance -- rather than teaching them that if boys see them they will leer.


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## Turquesa (May 30, 2007)

moominmamma said:


> I would suggest you take your cues from your daughter on this. She doesn't care; it's not a problem for her. Don't project your own worries and create a problem that isn't there.
> 
> Miranda


For the sake of argument, what if the daughter _does _care?

Personal, bodily boundaries are determined by cultural standards, religious beliefs, and life experiences that can vary from person to person. Kids themselves may feel uncomfortable with that sort of exposure for any reason--past sexual abuse, surgical scars, religious practices, (e.g. Muslim, Pentecostal), and a history of eating disorders among some possible reasons. Whatever the reason, I think they should be honored. Most of the kids in the class probably don't have a problem, and that's great. But forcing somebody into that situation when they're uncomfortable is violating too many boundaries, IMHO. At least with a public pool with recreational swimming, there's a choice of whether or not to go. There school should allow opt-outs for special circumstances.


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## MeepyCat (Oct 11, 2006)

The kids in my children's school have swimming lessons, and the "opt-out" is just to not bring a bathing suit. But the school is pretty gung-ho about swimming, and argues that all kids should have the opportunity to learn. (Although not all city elementary schools have pools, and kids who go to schools without them don't learn at school).

I have terrible scars, and traditional bathing suits do not work for me at all. I'm violently uncomfortable in them, but I still like to swim. I wear a rash guard and board shorts. My rash guards are short-sleeved, but long-sleeved ones exist. Coverage is a real concern for a lot of people, but it should not be a barrier to the activity.


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## moominmamma (Jul 5, 2003)

Turquesa said:


> Kids themselves may feel uncomfortable with that sort of exposure for any reason--past sexual abuse, surgical scars, religious practices, (e.g. Muslim, Pentecostal), and a history of eating disorders among some possible reasons. Whatever the reason, I think they should be honored.


I agree.

Where I live kids have the option to get their PE credits through Outdoor Fitness or "independent study" courses. Not that we have access to swim lessons or a pool through our school, but if we did and it was part of the curriculum, and if my kids had a sort of discomfort with pool attire and mixed company, they'd probably opt for an alternate way of doing the required PE credit.

But if the school didn't have any options, and if one of my kids had a problem with the swim classes due something specific like a mental health, physical problem or religious issue, I would approach the school on their behalf with any necessary official documentation, and ask for an exemption from / substitution for that part of the curriculum.

Miranda


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## Linda on the move (Jun 15, 2005)

Turquesa said:


> For the sake of argument, what if the daughter _does _care?
> 
> ....But forcing somebody into that situation when they're uncomfortable is violating too many boundaries, IMHO.


For one thing, schools routinely push kids into situations that might not be comfortable for them, such as group projects or oral presentations. To a certain extent, making peace with things you're uncomfortable with is part of developing as a human being. So, I personally don't buy "I'm uncomfortable" as a reason for a teen to not do something.

Second, by 9th grade, kids here locally are expected to start advocating for themselves. So, if a teen is being harassed or is just uncomfortable, the first step is for her to say so to her teacher. And if the parent were to call or email, they would be told as much. At 8th grade level this isn't the case, but starting in 9th it is. The schools have "conference periods" when all teachers are in the room (PE teachers are in the offices) and the students can go talk to teachers.

Religious exemptions aside, I really just don't buy any of the other reasons are good reasons to not face your issues (and I was sexually assaulted very young). You gotta figure out how to be in your body and be OK with that.

I work in an elementary school with special needs students, and part of my job includes making all school events accessible to exceptional students. We don't have a pool, but we have water field day, and every single student participates -- even the one without arms, and the one in a wheel chair, and visually impaired students, the hearing impaired students, the child with Down's, the child with a back brace, and so on. Surgical scars don't actually raise an eye brow when you include everyone.

At the highschool level here, PE is required, but the students select which PE class they want to take, and the school offers everything from Aerobics to weight lifting to Judo to Zumba. No one is required to take any specific PE class.


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## blessedwithboys (Dec 8, 2004)

Honestly, going off what the dual-enrollment girls at my college wear, a bathing suit would be modest in comparison. Seriously, girls dress so skimpiliy for class, I doubt a maillot show nearly as much skin (I'm assuming they wear actual swimsuits and not bikinis for PE).

I am a pretty modest person. My sons generally wear rashguards or regular tshirts with their board shorts. If I had a daughter, she would wear a rash guard and board shorts over her suit. I tend to wear a relatively modest tankini top with board shorts or an above the knee swim skirt and often rashguard as well depending on what group I am with. But I don't freak out if my boys see a girl in a bikini. 

I respect your right to be uncomfortable with the situation. Opt your dd out of swim class if it bothers you. You are the parent and it is your choice.


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