# Caring for a toddler and a newborn



## natural_mama89 (May 4, 2007)

How do you do it. I have a 21-month-old and a 4-day-old and I am just beginning to realize how hard this is going to be for awhile. Is it really possible to care for a newborn and toddler and still get housework and other things done? Any tips would be helpful. Do some people have a "system" of splitting up housework, caring for kids, etc. with your spouse/partner? I do know that my ring sling is probably going to be my best friend for awhile







. Please assure me I can do this.


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## Joyster (Oct 26, 2007)

I have a 2 year old and am due in two weeks, so I'll be watching this thread with great interest! Hope you find some helpful answers, not only for my own selfish reasons, but can just imagine what craziness it might be. I suspect some of it is partially finding your groove, which might take a while.


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## BoringTales (Aug 1, 2006)

First of all, take a deep breath. It is do-able. You may not be able to keep the house as clean as you'd like, but its entirely possible to at least keep it livable.

I have a 3.5 year old, a 2 year old (tomorrow!) and a 3 month old. Here's what I do...

In the morning I make sure to take some 'me' time before the bigger kids wake up. Baby wakes up, gets changed and nursed, and then he goes in his swing for a little while. He likes it, and it gives me time to make coffee and have a few minutes on the computer. I usually do a quick clean up of the kitchen while my coffee is brewing.

After that the baby usually gets changed again and the big boys are awake so I make breakfast. Often times its a simple as a bowl of cereal or a piece of whole wheat toast. Sometimes I get motivated and do pancakes or omlettes and bacon.

After breakfast I try and clean up the living room and finish off the kitchen. The baby likes to go in the wrap or in his bouncy chair while I do this.

After that's done its about time for the baby's nap, so I usually nurse him at the computer and then he falls asleep. He still naps in his swing, which works out great for me.

At this point I usually plug the boys into a cartoon or two, and take a few more minutes of 'down time' for myself online.

Then its lunch time and I try to clean up as I go.

After lunch the boys play for a while, color, play with legos or blocks. The baby will wake up for a while. That's when I usually vacuum if it needs it, or tackly the boy's toy room.

At 2pm my two year old, the baby and I all go lay in the bed. Both little ones fall asleep, occasionally I will too. My 3.5 year old often plays a few computer games while we are resting. If I don't take a nap I move the baby to his swing (I don't ever leave him alone on the bed asleep, especially with my 2 year old on there too), then I start getting stuff out and ready to make dinner. I do another kitchen clean-up, pick up some more toys the boys have drug out, and occasionally hit one of our two bathrooms.

Insert some more "me" time here, which usually equals computer!

DS2 sleeps until 4 or 5, the baby usually does as well. That gives me time to cook dinner and have some one-on-one time with my biggest boy.

DH comes home and plays with them around 5, we eat around 5:30-6, and on off days I'll do baths after dinner, then its time to get ready for bed.

That's just an idea. There are days...many of them, when most of that stuff besides the essentials with the kids just doesn't get done. That's ok. You aren't a machine. You'll have pleanty of time to keep your house clean when your kids are older. They are only babies for a little while, and keeping up with 2 under 2 is hard work.

Good luck! Feel free to PM me if you need to vent/talk!


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## dawncayden (Jan 24, 2006)

subbing for the future


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## user_name (Jun 8, 2005)

It's great that you are seeking out advice and encouragement - you are not alone!! I second that it's not only very do-able, but enjoyable as well - especially on those days when that afternoon nap falls into alignment! DH is a tremendous help with baths and bedtime, and he is understanding when he runs out of socks or has to iron his own shirt now and then (okay, several times a week







). Things helpful to me: "It's okay to not be perfect." "Their childhood is fleeting." "I am honored to care for these precious, pooping children." and, last but not least, watching any episode of John and Kate Plus 8!


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## Mihelinka (Nov 2, 2004)

It does get easier. Don't worry about housework! I was in your same situation last november. My priorities were nursing the baby, clean clothes, heat food formeals. FOr us having my mother bring food, fresh & frozen helped a great deal. do you have family, neighbors or friends who can take your older child for anhour or two so you can at least rest?
It does get easier. And no i have no system


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## LuvMyLittles (Jul 22, 2005)

You have just the same age split that I do for my youngest two. You can do this.

Forget about having a squeeky clean house for at least a year. Seriously. Sleep and giving the older sibling some extra attention are way more important to everyone's sanity.

But 21 months is a great time to have a toddler "help" do the dishes (play in the sink while mommy wears baby and washes), or start picking up toys with mom, or help vacuum, or help put laundry in the dryer (in fact it saved my back that I could wear the baby and my toddler could push the laundry into the dryer if I dropped it a little at a time onto the dryer door). Clean with vinegar and baking baking soda so that your older baby can scrub right next to you. Make housework interactive - it will be sloppy and take a long time, but it is worth it to have everyone relaxed and happy.

Sleep as much as you can. Then sleep some more.

Did I mention getting some sleep?

Bed time was the hardest for me - in part because I was recently single when the baby was born and my older baby was used to getting nursed to sleep by mom or walked to sleep by dad. Tandem nursing was SO HARD in the beginning, but I am so glad I stuck with it. If you are tandem nursing do remember that you are not required to nurse them at the same time. I can't do it without wanting to scream - a mommy is allowed her limits. If dad can put your toddler to bed, let him do it.

Hugs and congratulations.


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## blue butterfly (Nov 28, 2005)

dd1 waqs 3.6 when dd2 was born and while it was hard we some how found our way through it. lots of juggling and babywearing and deep breaths









when dd2 would nurse and dd1 would want me to read her a book at the same time i would have her hold the book and when i would get to the end of the page i would say "ding" so that she would know to turn the page!

you have to let housework slide as well. as you think back on the first days of LO's life, your memorys will not include "i should have cleaned more" !


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## nabigus (Sep 23, 2004)

Just reading for the future...

But had a thought as I read this. Does letting housework slide if I have two mean that I'm supposed to be *doing* housework if I only have one?







let me tell you, if we have a second, boy, we will have one grubby house!


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## mamaveggie (Mar 24, 2007)

You can do it! My dd's have about the same age gap as your little ones and I felt like I was a zombie for the first month. It takes a lot of patience to deal with a toddler and a newborn. My dh had off for the first 2 weeks and took my 22 month old out to run errands so that the baby and I could rest as much as possible. After those 2 weeks I was on my own because he was wrapping up some side jobs and was gone every night during the week plus his normal job. I went crazy and had a talk with him about needing to help out more around here. After he was home more, the housekeeping is almost under control and I am 8 weeks out. Don't put too much pressure on yourself, but accept the fact that it may be a while before things get back to normal. An example of my day:
Dh gets up to leave at 4:30am and my 8 week old wakes up between then and 6:30 to eat and then goes back to sleep. 23 month old usually wakes up between 7-8 and rolls over in bed and yells good morning at me. I move dd#2 into her bed and take dd1 to potty and put her in her high chair with some crayons or play dough. I make breakfast for her and try to cram something in myself before dd2 wakes up to eat again. Computer goes on and I check email/mothering while dd2 nurses. I put dd2 in the swing, take dd1 potty again and get her dressed/brush teeth and help her get an activity started. I move to the floor with dd2 and play until she gets hungry again, feed her and she goes down for a nap. By now it is usually about 10:30-11. I fix us a snack and try to clean up one room while dd1 watches some tv/plays. I get back on the computer for a while and then I get dd1 back up into the high chair for lunch and dd2 usually wakes up before I finish, so I strap her on until I am finished, hand dd1 her lunch and sit down to feed dd2. I put dd2 on playmat on the floor and clean up/take dd1 potty. Dd2 to her swing or bed if she is sleepy and take dd1 into room for a story/song/nap. Sometimes the naps coincide and I have about 45 minutes to myself and I spend that picking up and on the internet. By 3:30 everyone is up and dh usually gets home by 4. I hand them over and go to the bathroom by myself!







I make dinner/feed dd2 and sit down to dinner w/dh and dd1. We play/have bathtime/watch some tv. 8:30 dd1 and I go into her room for story/song/goodnight. Dd2 goes to bed between 9-10 and then I shower and collapse in bed. DD1 usually shows up in our bed between 12-2, but I don't even wake up anymore. DD2 just started sleeping 6 hour stretches so I am finally getting more sleep. Good luck and keep us updated.


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## babelsgp (Mar 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nabigus* 
Just reading for the future...

But had a thought as I read this. Does letting housework slide if I have two mean that I'm supposed to be *doing* housework if I only have one?







let me tell you, if we have a second, boy, we will have one grubby house!









LOL me too!!! I can't keep up with one and having #2 in Jan. Getting a little nervous here!

I do use the baking soda vinegar combo though, does help!


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## wsgrl84 (Jan 12, 2006)

Just wanted to send some words of encouragement that it is do-able! I felt the same way when I had a newborn and toddler.

Now they are 8 months and almost 28 months and we have a lot of good days, some bad days and a lot of in between days. Get a system going and everyone will feel more at ease.


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