# 2 year old holding pee for 12+ hours



## sarahsmiles (Jan 9, 2007)

Potty learning has gone very well with my DD, who is now 27 months old. She's been out of diapers in the daytime for about 4 months and I noticed her nighttime diapers were dry, too, so we've taken that plunge.

I'm getting a bit worried, though, because she resists going to the potty first thing in the morning, which means she often holds it for 12 hours or more. (She doesn't sleep through the night, but she rarely wants to pee when she wakes up during the night, and is very upset when I suggest it.) Some mornings I have resorted to "bribing" her with a snack to get her to "just sit on it -- you don't have to pee." Of course she really has to and produces a frightening amount of urine.

During the day, I can usually get her to sit on the potty a few times through the power of suggestion, although she does still have a few "accidents," which she never had until recently. She just insists she doesn't need to go, and even gets kind of upset "No pee potty!" She will hold it through 2 hour naps, car rides, etc.

I'm not wanting to turn this into a battle, but I can't help thinking it's not good for her to hold so much for so long. I don't want her to get a UTI or something, and her little bladder can't be that big. She MUST be uncomfortable, mustn't she?

Is this normal? Is it a control issue, or does she just need to learn the signals? Should I worry if she sometimes waits 2-3 hours after waking up before she pees?


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## azmomtoone (Aug 30, 2008)

Is it maybe too soon after she wakes up, that you're trying to get her to sit on the potty? We did that with DS for awhile, rushed straight to the potty when we got up, and it always ended in tears. (usually him crying the whole time) The fact that he did pee seemed to justify it....like, "see, I told you you had to pee, huh?" We've since learned that if we relax and just let him be, but be there to help if he needs, then he'll go when he's ready...sometimes a couple minutes, sometimes 20 min after waking up....but he's happy about it then, no tears. It takes trusting them to know they need to go. (which I didn't initially)
Kinda just accidently realized that, I felt so bad about making him cry one morning, that I just picked him up when he started crying, and let him nurse in my lap in front of the potty. He got up, went to play, I tried to get him to potty again, but he was definitely going to get upset again, so I just let him go, and a few minutes later he went back on his own.

Now we pretty much just leave him alone until he asks to go....unless he's woken up before me & I have to go, then I do take him into the bathroom w/ me and have him sit on the potty til I'm done. Which he's still not happy about; but he just generally wouldn't be happy anyway that I'm not holding him, and may end up wetting himself while I'm in the bathroom....


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## sarahsmiles (Jan 9, 2007)

You're right, of course. I know everyone tells me to not fear the accidents, and I guess it's no different in the morning than during the day. She WILL learn to get the signs, I guess. I just want to help her avoid that. Why won't they learn from us so they can do things the easy way?









She is unhappy when she gets up and it is just making it worse. Thanks for the reality check!


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## Wittyone (May 11, 2005)

Most mornings ds goes not long after waking up, but sometimes he'll get up and start playing and doesn't go for awhile (it was 2 hours one time!!). I'm a pee first thing kinda gal, so I don't know how he does it, but he really can just hold it sometimes. I agree with the pp - he gets so mad when we try to force it, and really he *does* know far better than we do!

I try really hard to let him be in charge and he does an excellent job of getting himself there in time. Sometimes if he's dancing around and clearly just doesn't want to interrupt what he's doing, I'll tell him I'm going to go pee, does he want to come? Usually he says no mama, *I* need to pee and races me into the bathroom


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## Love_My_Bubba (Jul 4, 2006)

I've always tried to not force DS to go to the potty when I think he needs to go. I wait for him to think _*he*_ needs to go. Our ped told us that you never want to have a negative association with something that you're trying to encouraging them to do.

It's worked well for us, he's getting better and better every day.


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## Polliwog (Oct 29, 2006)

Kids are all different. My son is now 4 1/2 and is like your DD. He doesn't usually go for a few hours after waking up. And he has never wanted reminders. He'll go when he needs to go. His teachers know that he's the kid who doesn't need to be reminded at all.


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## tankgirl73 (Jun 10, 2007)

We did EC with Caileigh, and one of the central tenets of EC with infants is the "wake-up pee"... even if you're nervous about trying EC or doubtful or just not good at catching your baby's signals, the wake-up pee is a virtual guarantee. And we certainly found this to be true with DD!

However, now that she's a graduate (just turned 2 years old), we're finding this is COMPLETELY different. We now normally just wait for her to tell us she has to go, we hardly ever remind her anymore. When it comes to mornings, we would suggest it because she'd been dry all night... and she'd loudly refuse! And like yours, would go several hours before peeing again.

We decided to try trusting her, and it's worked. She told us when she did have to go, even if it was 4 hours after waking up... we've had, I think, 3 morning misses in the last month.

Remember that during sleep, the body slows down its production of waste, and concentrates what's in there too. So it's not at all the same as holding it for 12 hours during the daytime.

Around this age, I think it's also normal for them to be working at their own toilet independence, consciously understanding their own signals, and especially, learning their limits and tolerance -- "How strong does the feeling need to be before I really can't wait any longer? If it's this feeling, can I still play for 5 more minutes? What about 15?" And they do have to experience the 'failure point' in order to learn where it is, and what it feels like!

So if there are a few morning misses while your LO figures out her limits, don't stress about it. Let her help clean it up, calmly say something like "whoops, I guess you need to get to the toilet a little sooner next time, eh?"


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