# Any wives or husbands of perpetual students out there??



## Klynne (Jan 1, 2007)

Dh has been in school for 6 years now, masters check, and now he's working on applying for a PhD program WHILE carrying a full load of business classes this semester. I am excited and hope he'll be accepted as I believe it's the perfect "career" choice for him (up til now his career has been school!







), but I'm feeling overwhelmed by the sheer amount of work he has to do and the lack of time our family gets to spend together.

Any one else in the same boat?? Anyone with advice and experience?


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## maotmsmi (Nov 20, 2007)

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## Klynne (Jan 1, 2007)

I knew I couldn't be alone on this path!
Congratulations on your pregnancy! I'm also pg with our 3rd.
So your Dh will get his masters in history? Does he plan on teaching? Your schedule must be crazy with him at school AND full-time work (!!).

Oh the unpredictability! I thought he might be done with school when he finished his masters but, like your DH, it proved hard to get a job with his degree in the US so.... game change... only to change the 'plan' back to plan A last month.

I can't wait until the day he has a job he loves, and we have a normal income.


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## Mnkymma (Jul 12, 2008)

Me too! DH graduated from college 10 years ago and since then he has only not been in school for 2 years. He dropped out of his first phD program after three years, decided to go back for a second masters and is about to finish that. Now he keep talking about starting over with the phD and going to flight school. He's working full time and baby #2 is due in March. I really hope I can talk him into taking a break!


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## Klynne (Jan 1, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mnkymma* 
Me too! DH graduated from college 10 years ago and since then he has only not been in school for 2 years. He dropped out of his first phD program after three years, decided to go back for a second masters and is about to finish that. Now he keep talking about starting over with the phD and going to flight school. He's working full time and baby #2 is due in March. I really hope I can talk him into taking a break!

Congratulations on your pregnancy too! How exciting. Wow, back for a 2nd masters, then a PhD, then flight school! That's ambition.

So what where the two first years in the PhD program like for your family? Did you guys have to move for him to attend classes? If Dh is accepted we'll have to move across the country. I wonder what life for families on/off campus is like... like if they have groups for sahm's... and how little we will end up seeing DH... I don't find any answers to questions like that on the university's page.


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## maotmsmi (Nov 20, 2007)

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## fnpmama (Nov 10, 2010)

Hey ladies - new here, but wanted to join in. DH is in his 6th of 7 years of school since his first masters. He has a Bachelors, 2 masters degrees and is finishing his PHD in the next 2 years. Hopefully wil be finished in May 2012. And on to his dream job as Professor. I find it very challenging because while he is "funded", meaning full tutition and small living stipend, he is working on school 50 hours/week and the stipend is not enough to cover rent in a single bedroom apartment let alone enough for a family of 4 to live in our area (We live in the city in Chicago). So I have to work full time to make ends meet. We are considering moving actually closer to his campus from the city to decrease our cost of living, so I can work part time and possibly have a third child.

As far as living near campus and family life around campus, we used to live there before when we had just 1 child and it was great, we spent time with the other PhD students and their familes and we had alot in common. We had developed a nice community that way. The mamas I was friends with who were also married to PhD students all had to work to help support their husbands in school so we definitely understood each other's struggles. Also being close to campus there were a lot of activities in arts and such.


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## Klynne (Jan 1, 2007)

﻿

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MommyKrista*
> 
> Thanks! Congratulations on your 3rd pregnancy too! I sometimes feel like people look at me like I have 2 heads because DH and I *purposely* had children (and several of them) all while he's still in school. I'm not sure why it's anyone's business or they care, we're not asking anyone for money (and we've never taken a dime from taxpayers to raise our kids). Oh well.
> 
> ...


Haha, if we DON'T have kids while our dh's are studying we'll never have kids!!!







Anyways, there's no way people can know what type of income a family is pulling in. I inherited property that provides enough us each year to have a house and make it all go around and be able to stay at home... though I would love to work a little on the side for my sanity!







. We'll actually be moving to NC if he gets in. I'm hopefull that I'll have the same experience as you!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *fnpmama*
> 
> Hey ladies - new here, but wanted to join in. DH is in his 6th of 7 years of school since his first masters. He has a Bachelors, 2 masters degrees and is finishing his PHD in the next 2 years. Hopefully wil be finished in May 2012. And on to his dream job as Professor. I find it very challenging because while he is "funded", meaning full tutition and small living stipend, he is working on school 50 hours/week and the stipend is not enough to cover rent in a single bedroom apartment let alone enough for a family of 4 to live in our area (We live in the city in Chicago). So I have to work full time to make ends meet. We are considering moving actually closer to his campus from the city to decrease our cost of living, so I can work part time and possibly have a third child.
> 
> As far as living near campus and family life around campus, we used to live there before when we had just 1 child and it was great, we spent time with the other PhD students and their families and we had alot in common. We had developed a nice community that way. The mamas I was friends with who were also married to PhD students all had to work to help support their husbands in school so we definitely understood each other's struggles. Also being close to campus there were a lot of activities in arts and such.


My dh is also dreaming/working towards a job as a professor. If he makes it into the program he'd also be funded. So you would recommend living as close to (can larger families live on campus?) or on campus to maximize family time? I have no idea what is considered "normal" is for this sort of arrangement.


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## fnpmama (Nov 10, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Klynne*
> 
> My dh is also dreaming/working towards a job as a professor. If he makes it into the program he'd also be funded. So you would recommend living as close to (can larger families live on campus?) or on campus to maximize family time? I have no idea what is considered "normal" is for this sort of arrangement.


 DH is at the University of Notre Dame - There is some small amount of married student campus housing, but I have heard it is not stellar, though supposedly the community there is nice. When we lived there, we found a neighborhood close to campus with small single family "starter" type homes, and it turns out there were a number of grad students living there and we all got to be close. Along with a group of 4 other families we started having weekly community dinners.

This depends on the program and University, but DH's program is pretty helpful with getting to know the town and finding a place to live. There is a graduate student group that does housing tours for new grad students, to see apartments and houses around town. You probably want to see if there are any graduate student organizations at his school.


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## Klynne (Jan 1, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *fnpmama*
> 
> DH is at the University of Notre Dame - There is some small amount of married student campus housing, but I have heard it is not stellar, though supposedly the community there is nice. When we lived there, we found a neighborhood close to campus with small single family "starter" type homes, and it turns out there were a number of grad students living there and we all got to be close. Along with a group of 4 other families we started having weekly community dinners.
> 
> This depends on the program and University, but DH's program is pretty helpful with getting to know the town and finding a place to live. There is a graduate student group that does housing tours for new grad students, to see apartments and houses around town. You probably want to see if there are any graduate student organizations at his school.


I guess we'll recieve the neccessary information when/if he gets accepted. I couldn't find any information on Duke's web page. I'm probably 20 steps ahead of myself, but I'm excited and like to plan.

In the mean time I loved this Saturday. Though dh has the GRE on Monday he spent his AM time with us, which meant a lot to me, and the kids.


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## shnitzel (Jan 6, 2010)

I definitely belong here!

I am currently on I think my 6th year of undergrad and am finally applying to a BS/MS program. I'm also on my third college.

DH took two years off to work and is now back at school doing Rabbinical Studies but he also plans on starting a masters next year. When we got married we were both in undergrad. Moving countries, changing majors, having a baby, and trying to support ourselves while needing job visas to work have all prolonged school and there is still no end in sight.


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## Klynne (Jan 1, 2007)

I'm starting to believe there never is an end! At least for some people, which is great. Being a professor is a perfect vocation for the life long student. It must be like heaven to stay in school AND get paid.

Shnitzel- we also switched countries, from Norway to the US. What about you guys? If you don't mind my asking. It's always a challenge to get set up in a new place with new regulations and business procedures, hello check writing.... and visa's! What an expensive process go through here in the US!


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## fnpmama (Nov 10, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Klynne*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> ...


Some of DH colleagues got their master's at Duke. From what I hear it is a great family friendly community. I have been there, it is a very pretty area, hilly and warm. I am a tad envious being stuck in cold flat Northern Indiana for the foreseeable future...


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## Alyantavid (Sep 10, 2004)

Hi! Saw this thread on new posts and thought I'd stop in.

Dh's on his third year of college and in his first semester of a rad tech program. The program is 2 years, which includes 1300 hours of clinicals. After he graduates, he plans to work and then apply to a radiation therapist program that will be 18 months to 2 years. After that, he plans to go into dosiometry, which is another 18 months. I think that's how the whole thing works. Each program has a different set of requirements so I'm sure there will be some schooling he'll in between each program.

So at the end of all of that, he'll hopefully have a wonderful job. Right now, I'm the breadwinner while he works very part time and is in school full time. One of the requirements of his current program (and probably all the others as well) is that he has medical insurance the entire time he's in, so I'll be doing this for awhile yet.


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## Klynne (Jan 1, 2007)

Humm, the quote came at the bottom.

Thank you for that Fnpmama!

GRE is behind us. Midterms are upon us and thanksgiving "break" should give us a couple family days, I hope. Our two year old yells "NO!!! Don't go out" every time DH heads out to the garden house to study. University here in the US is SO different than in Norway, Dh had a lot more time while working on his masters, it's was more comparable to a full time job over there.

Quote:



> Originally Posted by *fnpmama*
> 
> Some of DH colleagues got their master's at Duke. From what I hear it is a great family friendly community. I have been there, it is a very pretty area, hilly and warm. I am a tad envious being stuck in cold flat Northern Indiana for the foreseeable future...


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## Klynne (Jan 1, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Alyantavid*
> 
> Hi! Saw this thread on new posts and thought I'd stop in.
> 
> ...


 Wow! I wasn't aware of school's requiring students to carry health coverage!


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## Alyantavid (Sep 10, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Klynne*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> ...


Most of the medical programs at the school he's attending now require that. Along with a physical, drug testing and up to date immunizations.


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