# Big-time toddler pooping anxiety!



## LuckyMommaToo (Aug 14, 2003)

I'm at a loss as to how to help DD. I don't know why, but she has developed a severe anxiety about pooping. She only goes about every three days, and for the whole day before, she walks around clutching her butt, saying her tummy hurts, and screeching, "Pick me up so I don't poop!" She doesn't strain at all. Sometimes she poops in the middle of the night (my theory is because her body is actually relaxed).

We haven't really pushed potty training at all. We have a potty book that she chooses to read every night. When we get to the part where the girl poops in the potty, DD says, "No. NOt good. No yay!"

This has been going on for almost two months. When she does poop, it's soft. Her diet is good. I've been resistant to the idea of Miralax, but I'm wondering if that would be good for both of us. I try to remain calm and supportive, "DD, I know you can take care of your body. Let me know if you need help." Etc, etc. But seriously, one out of three days are miserable for the whole family because of this!

I'd love any thoughts or suggestions.
-e


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## NicaG (Jun 16, 2006)

Yes, we had that problem. It was awful. It started when ds had the flu right before his 3rd birthday. I had to take him to the emergency room, and then his diet was all BRAT and constipating for the next week, and then he got anxious about pooping because it hurt so much, and it just became a bad cycle, holding, hurting....just awful. This lasted about 6 months. In the middle of all this, we had to start potty training, to meet a preschool deadline, and that made it somewhat worse, because he didn't want to poop at all, especially not on the potty. This was during the summer, and we often resorted to going to a local playground right after dinner, with a diaper on, to try to coax a bowel movent out of ds (we still call that playground "poop playground").

What eventually worked was giving ds Miralax (stool softener) almost every day. It broke the bad cycle and got ds pooping regularly. He still had some apprehension about pooping on the potty, but we started a star chart (5 stars earns a small toy) and he LOVED that and suddenly he just wanted to poop on the potty. So now the problem is gone! But that problem made our lives miserable for months (it was especially bad when we were on vacation visiting family--how do you explain what's going on? When I told mil that ds hadn't pooped in 5 days, she said, aren't you going to take him to the emergency room?). Good luck!


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## NicaG (Jun 16, 2006)

Also, if you're resistant to Miralax, you could try mixing Benefiber into drinks first (they have a special product for kids). We still do this sometimes.


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## LuckyMommaToo (Aug 14, 2003)

Thank you, NicaG! Yes, we are debating the Miralax. I need to look up the dosages. I may start her on the very, very minimum. DH was against it until he was home with us over Tgiving -- now that he's really seen how hysterical she gets on pooping day, he's coming around. I feel like my toddler needs a therapist!

Anyone else?
-e

p.s. I'll look into the Benefiber as well. Off to Google...


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## soybeansmama (Jan 26, 2006)

This sounds way too familiar...in fact, my first post ever at MDC was this problem. Sawyer was 14 months when it started and it was resolved a little after his 2nd bday. Hang in there, it does get better. Some things we tried:

Fiber bears--they are like gummy bear vitamins http://www.vitaminshoppe.com/store/e...jsp?id=YB-1004

Flax seed oil

glycerin suppositories when it had gone beyond 3 days

lots of water and prune juice!

After a while he had enough history of "pleasant" poops that the fear and complete meltdowns subsided. I understand your concern about the normalcy of it all and believe me, I considered that he may need help from a psychologist or something too. Rest assured that it is common and does eventually go away.
Some other things that helped were talking about it often. Our family became poop obsessed for a while.







No one could poop in private during that time...

Good Luck and I am sorry that you are in the middle of this. It can be an anxious time for EVERYONE.


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## nighten (Oct 18, 2005)

Be careful about introducing more fiber -- it will actually cause constipation if there's not an accompanying increase in fluids too. So if you add fiber in her diet, add more water too.

You can try Baby Calm (natural non-cramping magnesium supplement) instead of Miralax if you want.

We use Miralax on occasion but our issue is she tends to withhold and then gets backed up -- if the stools are soft, then Miralax will cause too-loose stools I think.

Honestly I'd give the ped a call and ask about it. It sounds like she's made some negative association with pooping -- maybe she had one painful BM at one point and is trying to avoid that? Can you ask her (not when she's in the midst of dealing with it though)?

Sorry you're having to go through this. Poop issues are not fun for anyone.


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## LuckyMommaToo (Aug 14, 2003)

Thanks, mommas. I've decided I need to get a lot more aggressive about diet. She's not great about drinking (even juice). I think I'm going to get her a special straw cup (like Dora or princesses), and always have a prune juice mix in there for her -- with flax seed oil mixed in for good measure. We'll try that for a week, adn if there's no improvement, we'll move on to Miralax. (Although I'll also check out Baby Calm.)

I worry about the fiber bears because of the liquid intake -- are they the soluble or insoluble kind? I'll check them out, too , though.

Nighten, I did call our ped and talked to one of the NP's. It's a very crunchy office (which I love!). She mentioned cutting dairy (done), flax seeds, etc. She said that as long as DD is going every three days, she wouldn't do anything else. Usually by the fourth day, DD goes.

Anyway, thanks for the support! It's nice to get some suggestions, and to know that this will end eventually. Right??
-e


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## oliversmum2000 (Oct 10, 2003)

my ds didnt go on the toilet all the time reliably until well past his 5th birthday - it drove us bonkers, but he did outgrow it.

with my ds i think it was very much an issue with being distracted and not being bothered combined with fear as he used to do this weird dance when he needed to go to try to hold it in, we would send him to try to go he would go and nothing would happen then 5 minutes later an accident...

i am afraid i cannot offer too many words of wisdom as he just seemed to outgrow it eventually - but i do understand how frustrating it can be for a small child to be so worried about going and not be able to help them at all.


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