# Roll call: My 3 year old is not interested in the potty



## 5796 (Oct 19, 2002)

ETA: I am boosting this thread---my son now is 7 but I wanted to give you guys some help since I know the potty issue is so hard!!! It is nice to hear from someone who had the long haul and what it looks like to get on the other side of it.

My DS is 3.5 years old as of next week.

Here you go!:

We thought he showed signs of being interested in the potty early fall. He actually did go poop once and pee twice.
That's it!
done, fini.. won't do it again.
nothing traumatic occured. He was thrilled. THE END.
Now we have to coax and bribe him to even get to sit on the potty for five minutes.

Anyone else out there?

PLEASE SAY YES...PLEASE SAY YES..

I hate being alone on this one!


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## 5796 (Oct 19, 2002)

Ah, Nemmer. Thank you.

But 2.5 is still in that "oh, well, he'll get there..."

here I am 3.5 and it is a bit harder to smile at people and say "I know he'll get there..."

lordy, I hope there are some 3+'s besides me...anyone else?


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## charmarty (Jan 27, 2002)

Nope. I don't have a 3.5 year old with this problem.









I have two 4 year olds doing it!!!


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## 5796 (Oct 19, 2002)

thank god.

I am not alone.


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## charmarty (Jan 27, 2002)

No my dear you are sadly not









BUT on the bright side of things, my dd's will get there on thier own time, as will your dc and later in life, they will thank us (or al least BE thankful) for it.









J and T know how to pee on the potty. They just CHOOSE not to. :LOL They are now going in stages. One day on the potty, the next NO WAY!!!!! We have yet to have a BM on there, but I feel it in my bones that they are getting close to going on the big potty ALL the time. They turned 4 in Oct BTW. Don't feel bad mama he will get there.
I can;t inagine an 18 year old, coming home, throwing his car keys on the night table, going, " Move over mom, I am SO tired! I need you to change my bum, and then I need soem boob before we snuggle into bed for a good nights sleep."


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## TEAK's Mom (Apr 25, 2003)

Count us in. Dd1 is actually not going to be 3 until April, but she has decided that the potty is not her friend. Before dd2 was born in August, she would pee in the potty at least a few times a day. Now, she announces that she (and this is a direct quote) "would prefer to wear a soft, fluffy diaper." I guess we'll just wait until the interest is rekindled. I'm a little torn, are my cloth diapers so nice that she'll NEVER want to stop wearing them? Does fuzzibinz make a teen-age size? Grin.


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## Throkmorton (Jun 30, 2003)

DS runs screaming every time it is mentioned.
He will be 3 next month.


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## Ellie'sMom (Aug 10, 2002)

DD will be 3 in February and has told me that she will wear a diaper "forever." She was using the potty pretty frequently last spring, and then did a total 180. She got a new potty and some underpants for Christmas and was really excited for about 3 hours. She sat on the potty once for about 2 seconds.

She's not 3 yet, but I'm pretty sure I'll be right there with you in a couple months.


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## Teensy (Feb 22, 2002)

Yup, my 3 1/2 year old shows no interest in pooping in the potty. He will pee in the potty, if I make him go try. He has only twice ever gone to pee on his own inititive. He poops in his underwear/diaper/pullup at least once a day (more often two or three times a day). We did the serious attempt at potty training begining when he turned three - you know, naked from the waist down, wore only underpants - no diapers or pullups, tried bribes (candy, a new toy, anything!), explained that he was not going to be able to attend school (which he loves) - nothing worked. For sixty days I cleared poop out of his underpants 1-3 times a day. Lots of fun in a public restroom! On day 61, I quit torturing myself and switched back to diapers. He was not able to attend his preschool this year, which is a shame since he really enjoyed his two year old class.

He told me he was going to started using the potty when he turns five. I was joking with my mom this morning that we are going to bake a cake and celebrate his fourth birthday this week and his fifth birthday the following week.

For what it's worth, my oldest potty trained when he was three years and ten months old. Luckily his birthdate made school not an issue like it was for his brother.


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## Trishy (Oct 15, 2002)

ME ME ME!!!!!!!! Billy was born 7/01 and has zero interest in the potty. He will pee on it if I sit him on it and sit there with him forever. I've tried bribes, treats, Spongebob Squarepants. So stubborn. I really am starting to believe he will never use the potty.


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## charmarty (Jan 27, 2002)

I will quote myself. This is my mantra Trish,

Quote:


Originally Posted by *charmarty*
I can;t inagine an 18 year old, coming home, throwing his car keys on the night table, going, " Move over mom, I am SO tired! I need you to change my bum, and then I need soem boob before we snuggle into bed for a good nights sleep."


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## 5796 (Oct 19, 2002)

oh, my goodness, I feel so much better knowing that there are more of us than just me.
I was starting to feel bad about DS resistance to the potty.

Today we got him to sit on the potty by offering up a video. We stopped all video/noggin watching when he started school this fall. So, it is a rare treat when we offer up a video.

But he sat for the Bear in The Blue House Potty Video.
He was just thrilled. He asked for his old spanish language video and we gave that to him too. This was more much video than he has seen in months and months but I didn't care. He sat on the potty and got more and more comfortable with it and that, I think has some value.
god, I don't know..anything will help.

I don't think my son could say, "I want to wear diapers until I'm 5", Teensy..but if he could.. He would. I'm sure.

anyone else in this club?


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## 5796 (Oct 19, 2002)

Trishshack...by the way, my DS is a July 2001 baby. Maybe it is that month's babies... more resistant to change?
who knows...

still creating bribes in this house. Something I never t hought I would do until this month.


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## lifetapestry (Apr 14, 2003)

Another stubborn July 2001 babe here, and I also crossed into the parenting terrain of bribing (and something worse) around PTing. Noah was completely uninterested in the potty until I explained to him that I felt that either the diapers had to go or the nursing had to go, and he had to choose one of them. Then we did a couple of weeks of rehearsal and singing a goofy song about "bye bye diapers", and then we went straight to underwear, even when going out. I think the "natural consequences" of being wet were the best learning. Then it was several weeks of insisting that he use the potty at regular intervals, and now he goes on his own.

It just wasn't working for him, and for me, to wait until he actually was interested. I knew he could do it and I felt that he needed a push, and now he's really proud of himself for giving up the diapers. So while I believe in the child led approach to pretty much all developmental milestones, I think my son actually required some more active intervention from me. Otherwise, he found it more convenient to pee in his diapers rather than on the potty.

He still has serious issues with pooping on the potty, however. Since PTing/PLing, he has become a bit of an anal retentive and only poops every 2-4 days and then trying to get him to the potty is a bit hassle. We might catch 1 out of every 3 poops on the potty, but mostly he refuses to stay on the potty and will unload in his pants a couple of minutes later (or, once, in a move I found extremely funny, in his father's office chair).

I'm not really an advocate for pressuring kids to potty train, but I do feel that if I waited until he was truly interested, it wouldn't ever happen. Given that he "trained" so quickly and easily with respect to pee, I feel that the positive benefits for both him and me were worth my underhanded tactics to get there. Sometimes the ends do justify the means.

OK, you can flame me now. I can take it,
Karla


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## 5796 (Oct 19, 2002)

no flames here, Karla.
what is Noah's birthday? Just curious.

tracy


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## lifetapestry (Apr 14, 2003)

Noah's birthday is 7/26/01

Karla


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## 5796 (Oct 19, 2002)

anyone else?


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## joesmom (Nov 19, 2001)

My son will be six in February, & he did not potty train until he was about 4.5. He would pee on the potty but he refused to poop, although, like Tracy posted, he pooped AND peed when he was around 2.5. Once.









There were those who said he would never train. There were those who thought I was making a mistake by not taking the pullups off of him. But one day he woke up & told me he wanted to wear underwear. Guess how many accidents he has had? None. Guess how many times he has peed the bed? None. My sister's boys trained early, they are 4 & 6 now. The 4 yo still has occasional (very occasional) accidents & the 6 yo wears GoodNites to bed. So I think the way we did it was perfect.

Some kids just train late, don't worry about it. I made a decision when he turned 3, either I can start pushing this & possibly traumatize him (I babysat a kid who was still holding her stool in at age 6) or I can change him with love until he does not need me to do so anymore.

It helps my perspective that my best friend's daughter has autism & she is still in pullups now. She is seven. So she is a little over a year older than Joe. I could never complain about him not using the potty, when I think of my dear friend, who may have to change diapers forever, ya know??

Be patient, he WILL get there, & someday you will really have to think back to remember how old he was when he trained!

Good luck!


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## ryansmom02 (Jan 8, 2003)

Ryan will be 3 march 15 and he will pee on the potty before a bath but nothing else so he has no interest at all....... his time will come .... soon i hope.......


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## shelley4 (Sep 10, 2003)

my son was three in september, and has only peed on the toilet once, and never again.


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## 5796 (Oct 19, 2002)

joesmom,
that was a beautiful post. thank you.

shelley4 & ryansmom02...thank you for joining. Every time I read about others I feel that much better. I know it sounds weird especially after reading Joesmom post and I really 'get' that there is merit in waiting until DS is ready...but it does really help hearing others are in the same boat.

We still bribe over here..but we've slowed down with it during the last week. just didn't feel motivated to push too much.


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## joesmom (Nov 19, 2001)

Tracy, you are welcome! & believe me, when Joe was still in pullups, I loved hearing about other kids his age who were also...

These days it seems like so many kids are forced (not a good word...) into training early, like 2 or even before. Our kids were not horribly late trainers, it just seems that way because of the babies who are trained before they are really ready. Actually it is the parents that are trained!!

(NOT talking about ALL early trainers of course, some are ready at 22 months. Most aren't.







)


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## MilkOnDemand (Jan 7, 2005)

Potty learning is such a tricky thing, because "everyone" says they should be trained at 2 or 3, and I think what's the big deal? Dustin day trained when he was 3.5 with very little coersion from me. He said he wanted bob the builder underwear, I bought them, told him bob didn't want to be wet. A few accidents, interstingly never a poop accident, and that was it. Then, maybe a year later he said he didn't want to wear pull-ups to bed anymore because he thought he was dry in the morning, so off with the pullups & live went on.

A few weeks after Dorothy turned two she was taking off her diaper to use the toilet every night after we got home. Maybe a week later the daycare asked me to send underwear because she was taking off her diaper there to use the potty - they assumed I was working with her, and I assumed they were. Turns out that she just was ready to wear undies. She is still not dry at night, so we are using pull-ups or padded undies.


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## charmarty (Jan 27, 2002)

glad to see i am not alone with two 4.4 year olds who still wear pull ups.

I am glad to see that joe trained and thank you for that joesmom.


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## Yarnia (Aug 29, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ryansmom02*







Ryan will be 3 march 15 and he will pee on the potty before a bath but nothing else so he has no interest at all....... his time will come .... soon i hope.......

Same here! My dd will be 3 on Valentine's day and other than the occasional I want to sit on the potty - she is just not interested. Well over 6 months ago she leapt up, ran into the bathroom, pulled off her diaper, peed, wiped, and washed her hands while I stood there mouth agape. Once she even hopped out of the tub to poop in the potty, for which I will be eternally grateful.

But, she's lost interest. Guess she's been there done that and moved on to bigger and better things.

I have enrolled her in an expensive non refundable 3-K next fall that requires the students to be potty trained - or at least 99%. Wish me luck as I struggle NOT to pressure her.

Elizabeth


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## 5796 (Oct 19, 2002)

on monday DS peed in his potty. We were all very thrilled.
of course there has been no attempts since.....sigh...but we were very happy on mondays efforts..


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## Indigo73 (Aug 2, 2002)

My ds will be 3 next week but I am not overly worried. I know I was still wearing diapers at night til I was almost 5.

He lets us know after he is uncomfortable with his diaper but not when he needs to go or even right after he is done. He has gone both pee and poop in the potty but never with any consistancy or excitement so I just have it sitting in the bathroom next to the big potty and he can sit on it if and when he wants to.

Since I am not worried about getting him into preschool by any certain age, I am happy to let him do his own thing. I am thinking about letting him be nakie inside once the temps are over 60 and see if that helps but I'm not interested in bribing him into it. So we'll just have to wait til he decides he wants undies or decides that diapers aren't his thing anymore.


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## 3girls1boy (Nov 20, 2001)

My son will be 4 in one month and we are still struggling. It's not like I haven't done this before, and my 3 girls were all more than 3 when they did it (my middle daughter was 3 and 9 months)--but I've been changing diapers for 12 and a half years and I am so TIRED of it.

When DS was 3 and 9 months in December, I pretty much forced him into it by saying that if he didn't give underwear a try, he wasn't going to get anything fun (no TV, computer, treats to eat, no trips out because I didn't want to carry around the wet diapers anymore). He did pretty well for several weeks but then a few weeks ago just stopped going. (I'm sure part of it was that I stopped giving him sugarless gum every time he went, but after doing well for a few weeks I didn't think he needed it anymore)

So I gave up and put him back in diapers and determined not to say a thing about it (which is what I finally had to do with my reluctant middle girl), but just the other night, I just felt so frustrated when I had just put a night time diaper on him and he said, oh I peed. (Putting to bed time is never the best for me--my patience is just about gone by then.)

I threatened him with immediate weaning (he still nurses once or twice a day) but later relented because I felt that probably wasn't the best tact. Then I read about a total bribery scheme, and got a bunch of cheap, little toys from the thrift store, wrapped them up and told him he would get one once he had marked off three times getting to the potty on this chart I made. But that wasn't working either, because of course, he wanted the toy after just one time.

I really am at wits end. But last night I asked him what he wanted to wear, diapers or underwear, and he said underwear and so far today he is doing well.

I can tell you back when I was the mom of one, and I heard about this kid, I would be thinking, "Either the parents of doing something wrong or something is really wrong with this kid."

Anyway, even though I KNOW he will eventually get this down, I can't help feeling frustrated with the whole thing.

Jeanne (mom to DDs 12, 9, 7, and DS nearly 4)


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## charmarty (Jan 27, 2002)

need to report that my dd's are now peeing on the potty full time. At 4.4 years.

No BM's yet, but that will come too. I am glad we didn't pressure them. They are so self assured! Now they don't even want me to be in there with them.


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## 5796 (Oct 19, 2002)

we are still here.....ignoring the potty every single day.


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## Indigo73 (Aug 2, 2002)

DS is ignoring his too, other than as something to stick toys into. At least it's the potty instead of the toilet. A couple more months and we are going nakie bottom to see if that helps, but I am not in any hurry. Even his dcp is fine with letting him go his own pace so that is peachy.


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## Moon (Nov 25, 2001)

Sophia Go Go Girl (3 years, 3 1/2 months) is waking up dry in the mornings and will go sit on her potty when I sit on mine. Other than that, it's a no go, even when she knows she will get peanut m&m's for going on the pot.

Yesterday, for the first time, I was negative about her using her diaper. Always before that, I just offered the opportunity to use the potty....but yesterday, I KNEW she had to have a bm and I specifically asked her, and she said no, she didn't need to go, and when I realized she had a stinky diaper I told her that it would REALLY BE GOOD! to go on the potty. I felt kinda cruddy after I said it but I'm getting TIRED of this diaper thing.


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## 5796 (Oct 19, 2002)

Quote:

but I'm getting TIRED of this diaper thing.
i hear you. yesterday DS did sit on the potty for a bit. But no action.
then afterwards... big poop in the diaper. I even said, "wouldn't it be easier if you put the poop someplace else? he said, "the potty?" I said, "yes". He said. "no."
sigh.


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## owen&mama (Jan 3, 2003)

Just chiming in....my ds turned 3 in December. The last time that I asked him if he was ready to sit on the potty, he said, "No, maybe when I'm four".









He still isn't dry in the mornings. When we get there, I might start encouraging again. Until then, we've got plenty of other things to do, I suppose.


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## CherylE (Oct 9, 2003)

Here too! Maddy turned 3 last Oct so is almost 3 1/2 years old with almost NO interest in the potty at all - she also will pee before a bath sometimes but that's about it. My older 2 both were using the potty during the day by age 3 and dry at night between 3 1/2 and 4 years old. Glad to know we're not alone here. Though I will say I am TIRED of having 3 in diapers. It's been over a year now with 3 in diapers. Though it's not the 1st time I've had 3 in dipes - when my 3rd was born - I had 3 in diapers for about 9 months and when the twins were born - Michael was still in diapers at night - so at night I had 4 in diapers.


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## Meli65 (Apr 29, 2002)

I guess I will officially join the club (I started my own similar post unawares) -- ds turned three in November and -- you guessed it! -- has zero interest. I've grown quite frustrated with this as well. His younger cousin trained with the "Dr. Phil" method in one day, as promised, and has done well ever since









I've put him back in cloth diapers, although they don't seem to bother him a bit (when they are wet, I mean) -- and I'll admit a part of me hoped that he would associate cloth diapers with being baby-like and "not cool" (a favorite phrase of his). He likes to announce "I'm pooping!" but it is always too late and I have told him irritably, I don't want to hear it unless you're going to poop on the potty.

The new baby comes in June. I am signing him up for preschool this fall. We are going for a tour next week, and I am going to ask the teacher to mention to him that he needs to use the potty to go there -- I think this might be a big motivator for him.


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## Carolinamidwife (Dec 18, 2001)

Ooo, I want to lend my support to you all. Ds was just shy of 4 before he started urinating on the toilet and 4.5 when he started pooping on it. It was torturous as first time parents, we had no idea what to do. I vaccillated between thinking he was just taking his time (about the pooping, peeing was not such a huge deal althought it had held him back from some fun activities) and that he would get it when he was ready and worrying that he had some mental issues. MANY MANY people (even here) suggested he needed therapy. Not to mention... changing the pooped Fuzzi Bunz of a 4 year old was not my idea of a good time when I had morning sickness.

Long story short... he got it on his own, when he was ready and he never had an accident. Well, he peed his pants once at fireworks when he decided he would rather be wet than miss the show... but that was a choice.







What I learned was that all of the bribing and cajoling and worrying we did was all for NOTHING. He did it and it was over and I vowed with future kids to never give it a moment's concern.

What's odd though, is while it was happening I felt like we were the only people who went through it. Now that it's over people come out of the woodwork to say their kid was also almost 5.

Anyway, hang in there... it will all be over someday!


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## 5796 (Oct 19, 2002)

Quote:

Now that it's over people come out of the woodwork to say their kid was also almost 5.
I think if my son holds on until 5 it will kills us all. my husband pretty much said so... and my husband is so patient and so loving...

we have had more success this week with him peeing in his potty.

by the way.. big people's potty seems even further away. sigh.


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## heldt123 (Aug 5, 2004)

My 31 month old did the same thing. He went through a phase where he sat on the potty all the time.....finally he peed in it once, got all thrilled and excited, and that was it, he had accomplished his goal. Now he want's nothing to do with it, sigh.


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## sparkeze (Nov 20, 2002)

DS will be 3 in a month and he has zero interest. I got him a little potty and a toilet seat last summer but he's pooped on the potty twice in the one day about 4-5 months ago, and he's finally sat on the toilet seat once last week. If I leave him diaperless he calls for a diaper when he needs to go.









I have a question for those of you who have experience with a late learner, if I don't do anything at all to encourage DS to use the toilet except for occasionally asking him if he wants to - will there come a time when he will just do it? Or will I have to actively encourage him once he says he wants to? I'm kind of hoping for an effortless experience... :LOL


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## ceciclem (Nov 17, 2002)

Eli will be 3 at the end of May and also knows very well how to pee in the toilet but when I ask him if he'd like to replies with... "No, my diaper will suck it up"


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## ryansmom02 (Jan 8, 2003)

Ok I am back to report that Ryan is now in undies and has been for 2 days... we used a diaper for bed last night and he was dry in the morning..... I just put the diapers away and pulled out the blues clues undies and we went in just undies all day. He pooped in them and he did not like that one bit..... now when he pooped in his diaper he could care less... but in undies he was not happy at all....... he peed in his undies once also and once he realized he was peeing he tried to stop by putting his hand over himself and the pee ran down his leggs.......... which he again did not like..... so far today he has been in undies with no accidents....... now i ask him about once an hour do you need to go potty and he usually says yes.... and he goes........ once he wakes up from his nap today i am not going to remind him and see how he does on his own.... I will keep updating with his progress.......


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## JR'smama777 (Mar 8, 2002)

I really didn't care too much about the pace of my son's potty training, but his dad (we're divorced) did and would tease him about it.

Anyone...one thing ds loved to do was to pee outside, so if I asked if he wanted to go pee and he didn't, I'd say "want to go pee pee on the rock outside?" which he loved.

I also let him know that after he went poop a bunch of times in the potty, he'd get to go to the 'choo choo room' at church (the 3-4 age group, where the room has a Thomas the Engine set up that is great). He really liked that and got motivated many times when I mentioned it.

But all in all....don't sweat it, your sweetie will be fine.


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## ryansmom02 (Jan 8, 2003)

Ok well rain on my parade........ After nap he peed 3 times in his pants..... but he doesnt want to wear his diapers.......







now what


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## PadmaMorgana (Apr 14, 2004)

me me me. Well not me, DS. He is almost 3.5 years and has peed in the potty a handful of times. One day I actually got him to sit on the potty aaaalll day....by using chocolate. The next day. NOPE.

I try. I bought potty books. I try to use spiderman underwear as an incentive. I point out big boys use the potty. I explain that his pee is too much for his diapers (he leaks in the morning).

NOPE.

I sit with him. I ask constantly. I sing songs.

NOPE.

I am met with escalating NO's. It is just not worth it. I push too much and he starts sobbing no no no. Sooo not worth it. So my MIL thinks she can do it, I won't let her try. He is just not ready and I don't want her to use the technique she did with DH (he sat on that potty for hours until he went....crying).

No one goes to their proms in diapers. (barring a physical disability, but you know what I mean)


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## shelley4 (Sep 10, 2003)

we are currently in potty training limbo... my son, 3.5 yrs, is in underpants during the day, diaper at night, and nap. BUT, does he pee in the toilet?? rarely. he can hold his pee for HOURS.. if he naps, he can hold it from 8:30am to 1pm, wake up from nap with a soaked diaper, and then hold it gain from 3pm to 7:30pm, when it's time for night time diaper. sometimes, if we get the timing right, he'll pee on the toilet in the afternoon.

sometimes he complains that his bum hurts, i think it's because he's purposely holding in a poop







but he wants his underpants, and i don't know where to go from here.


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## faythe (Oct 2, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tracy*
My DS is 3.5 years old as of next week.

...
Now we have to coax and bribe him to even get to sit on the potty for five minutes.


My older dd's trained at 39 months and 41 months. What worked for us was laying off the pressure. MIL provided more than enough, thank you







. I was expecting #4 to arrive when they were 40 months and didn't want to deal with potty training twins and a constantly nursing newborn at the same time, so I completely stopped talking about it.

It ended up not being that big of a deal, it took one day, literally. Dd#2 has had a few night accidents (one of which I take the blame for) and we've had a few "didn't make it to the bathroom in time" accidents, but that's it.

Some kids are so into power struggles at this age, and bribing him to sit on the potty just plays into it. Once you take away the reward and attention he'll decide for himself when he's ready.

Good luck, it won't be much longer. And when you're sick of diapers, just remember that it's much easier to change a diaper than clean up the mess of a child that's not ready to be out of them.


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## Daphnes_mama (Sep 12, 2003)

My daughter is 3 years, 2 months and she is just now getting into it. We've had her potty for a year and a half now!!! I've never pressured her, but every so often, I asked her if she was interested. Now, it seems like she is getting into it. I swear that it makes no sense to push them when they are not ready. It just seems to set yourself up for struggle.

However, that said, my daughter has been resistant to diapers for the last few months. However, she would not sit on the potty, too. It was becoming a struggle, even though I was trying not to push anything. It can be so hard even when you are giving them a choice of potty or diaper. I mean, I was getting tired of cleaning up her accidents because she wouldn't sit on the potty or use a diaper. What was I to do?

My solution - I resorted to bribery, pure and simple, lol! Seriously, for the past week, I have been offering her an incentive in the form of a peanut butter or yogurt-covered pretzel, and it seems to work. She gets one tiny pretzel each time she uses the potty. She is getting so into the potty now that she wants to go in public! She still has accidents, but she seems to be happy trying the potty. Sometimes, she forgets about the pretzel and I never remind her.

Maybe it isn't the most PC perfect-parenting solution, but ask me if I care. It seems to be working for my family and that is all that matters to me. Can you sense my defensiveness? So many people (namely, inlaws and relatives) love to give unwanted advice about this when your child is over three! Ugh!

Good luck!


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## seahorsie (Jul 1, 2003)

Dd will be 3 next week, only tries before her shower sometimes when asked, refuses all other times. I think when she starts preschool (very soon), she will want to do what the other kids are doing and begin training there. (Diapers are ok there.) Other moms have said that that was how it happened for their kids. I will be glad not to have to shell out 10 bucks every week and a half for diapers.







(we have to buy 7th Generation brand due to sensitive skin, wish we had stuck to cloth, she won't wear cloth now).


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## Meli65 (Apr 29, 2002)

You all might appreciate this -- we were looking at old pictures today and found one of my mother reading a potty book to ds, back in September 2003! Wishful thinking









Still no action on this end. 39 months and counting ....


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## 5796 (Oct 19, 2002)

well. DS is now 3 years 9 months today.

he will now pee in the potty if we keep him naked waist down. He will not poop.
If we give him a pull up diaper he tends to **** pee in it. So, we still wear diapers. sigh.

We have a new nanny and she has 2 children, I'm hoping she might help in the transition...

sigh......


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## angel04345 (Apr 20, 2004)

My friend has a daughter who just turned four last weekend! She just started using the potty! She would fight and scream and not get dinner over it! (extreme I know but her mom was adament!) But rest assured that your little child WILL figure it out!


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## 5796 (Oct 19, 2002)

just another check in. DS is totally comfortable peeing in his potty and in his toilet. But...... if he is wearing a pull up, there is no guarantee he will pull it down to go pee. I guess he figures.. "hey, I can pee in this."

he did poop a week ago in the potty and we went out and got a Thomas the train in celebration of the big event.

but there has not been any other efforts and that was after my husband kept him indoors all day.with no underwear or diapers on... the weather was crappy that day so it wasn't a big loss..but of course we're not sitting around watching like that for another effort. but it was good that he could do it and he was not scared and he felt proud. so, I'm hoping it left a good impression.

just our update.

any others?


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## Trishy (Oct 15, 2002)

Ok I can really say there is hope. When I first posted on this thread in January I pretty much resigned myself to the fat that Billy would be 4 and still in diapers. Three months later he is potty trained. Almost completely. He is dry all day and wears underwear. At night I put him in a diaper and he stays dry through the night more times than not. I don't know what changed his mind but suddenly he was ready and he just did it. Something clicked in him. Hooray!


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## Meli65 (Apr 29, 2002)

Not feeling very hopeful here -- ds really likes watching potty videos (doing his research?) but has no interest in the fact itself. He slept in his big boy bed the other night (a first) but not since. I guess he'll still be in diapers, with his paci, in our bed come June when the baby comes


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## 5796 (Oct 19, 2002)

Trishshack..you give hope. But at the same time I am a wee bit jealous. that's okay, jealousy is good now and then.

Meli65, when does he turn 4?


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## Meli65 (Apr 29, 2002)

Tracy -- Ds will turn four in November. Sigh.


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## Trishy (Oct 15, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tracy*
Trishshack..you give hope. But at the same time I am a wee bit jealous. that's okay, jealousy is good now and then.

Meli65, when does he turn 4?

I totally understand, I was jealous when other's kids would finally get it. I hope all of yours potty train soon, I know just how frustrating it is.


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## Meli65 (Apr 29, 2002)

We've moved to bribery here -- an animal cracker if he tries to use the potty. New things come very easily to him and since this is isn't, he seems to think it's just not possible -- "sometimes kids can't" he tells me.

But the breakthrough is a Blue's Clues video we watched last night, called (I think) Read All About It. In it, there is a part that talks about how Paprika, a little girl, has moved into her own room and is packing up her baby things to put away for the next baby. For example, she no longer needs her crib mobile because she has a radio in her room. She is also now sleeping in her own bed (rather than a cradle), and is using the potty. Ds was VERY impressed with this, and last night said he wanted to wear underwear to bed because "diapers are for babies."

At least the desire is there, although he still hasn't had success on the potty. Fingers crossed .....


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## 5796 (Oct 19, 2002)

my update is that DS will pee in the potty both his little one and the big one. We are not sure if he pees in the potty at school but our guess is NOt. At least the home part of the equation has improvement.

As for Poop... only a couple times in the potty and for the most part fights it. We have been using pull up diapers most of the time. and yesterdayhe talked a lot about using the potty for poopy but alas... went in his underwear..which we occasionally put on him.

DS will be 4 in July.

Meli65,
I may have to get that video. We got the Bear in the Big Blue house potty video. DS loves to talk about it and sing the songs...and we put him on the potty when he watches it.

the bottom line is my son loves to talk about potty and poopy and where he knows it should go and what we will do when he does it.. usually there is some treat attached ...like going down to the train station and riding the subway..but it is all Talk and no 'walk'... talk, talk, talk..but when it comes time.. nope. Sadly, he reminds me of MY father. Not a big walk his talker.


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## momof2tadpoles0104 (Sep 26, 2004)

oh!! i had to join the not potty trained club!! my oldest is 3 years 5 months and besides peeing in a cup at bath time we are soo not trained!! off to read the posts see about any hints and such!


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## Meli65 (Apr 29, 2002)

Ds pooped in the potty today, for the first time in a lo-o-o-o-ng time









We call it practicing -- that is, he goes without diapers for a time so it's easier for him to remember. He was being such a sport about trying today that I let him sit on the potty and watch a video this morning (usually we only do videos at 5:00) -- nothing happened then, but soon after he snuck off and pooped on his own. So exciting! Wish me luck ......


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## Yarnia (Aug 29, 2003)

DD has really picked up the pace and is wearing panties around the house. She has been pooping pretty regularly on the potty with the exception of today when she would not. She had a constipation episode tho so she was scared of the potty.

One day last week she even insisted on not wearing a diaper after a change and came home without one in the carseat. I was sweating it lol

Slowly but surely. It's kind of interesting to watch after seeing all of my relatives struggle and bribe. I guess it will happen either way.

She did tell me that mima told her she "was too big for diapers" grrr. Thanks Mima. Just what I need a toddler refusing diapers when she still does need them.


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## Teensy (Feb 22, 2002)

Well, I can finally say that James is potty trained! Hurrah! He is three years, nine months. Still the occassional accident, but now they truly seem to be accidents. He even wore underpants to bed the past two night and got up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night. So happy! (His five year old brother still needs pull-ups at night)

What did it for us? I had a baby!!! Hahaha. Not the easiest potty training method, I agree. But he seemed to decide that he didn't want to be a baby like his little sister and began using the toilet with regularity the week she was born. He decided to forego the pull-ups when we ran out of Spiderman and had only Hulk ones. He didn't want to wear Hulk, so he didn't. It's only been two nights, but that's a start (his brother has never, and I mean, NEVER, woken up dry in the morning).


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## Yarnia (Aug 29, 2003)

Well I think we're finally all potty proficient







5 days ago she declined a diaper and decided to wear panties all day and has been diaperless since. She even wore panties to bed last night without a problem.

I'm very glad I decided to relax and let her lead. She has known how to go potty for well over a year so I figured she had the skills and just needed to be ready. I admit I was a little skeptical when I read that kids potty train overnite but lo and behold there you go. She was going whenever she was naked, before her bath, sometimes also when we were out in restaurants and stores as that was exciting. Slowly she worked into it and made the decision herself.
We even went shopping for new big girl pants this weekend.

I will miss the diaper chase tho. wahhh.....all my beautiful aios......I barely got to use my super cool daisy doodle trainers boo hoo

oh well I admit I kinda like not having diaper laundry









Good luck everyone!
Elizabeth


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## Meli65 (Apr 29, 2002)

We are making wonderful progress here -- ds has just taken it into his head that he wants to use the potty. Wish I could point to something in particular that worked -- it seems like we have been talking about it forever. We are wearing diapers at night and mostly going without during the day; no pants at all at home, usually, and underwear when we go out. I am amazed that he has used the big toilets at places like K-mart already. Frankly, I am amazed and just shaking my head at the whole thing!

Emotionally he has had a lot of ups and downs though - I think there is a relationship.


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## 5796 (Oct 19, 2002)

I am still here. sigh.

DS likes to pee in the potty. So we have improved on that front. And has started to pee at the potty in school.

absolutely refusing to poop in the potty. So, he still is in pull ups. There is a lot of emotions now coming up around the poop. It is as if he knows he should do it in the potty but he won't so there is a scene when we try to take off his poopy pull up.

as I indicated. DS will be 4 in July. He is very smart, very clever, verbal in some ways but not as verbal as many his age. Very stubborn. Bribing no longer works as he just likes to talk about what he'll get. but not do it.

Last week we went to his grandparent's beach club and he went poopy in his swimmer. I had no idea and he didn't say anything and it was reallypainful when I took off the swimmer because the sand and the poop rubbed him raw.
I remind him it will be so much easier when he poops in the toilet.

I guess I should just be grateful that he pees in the potty but since I have to keep him in pull ups..he still will use them for pee when he doesn't want to stop his 'play'.

I'm embarrassed I'm still in toddler section for this thread. sigh.


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## 4evermom (Feb 3, 2005)

My ds will be 4 in August and has been out of diapers since he was 2 1/2 except for a daily on demand diaper for pooping. He recently started peeing in strange places on purpose. I think this is a result of reading The Potty Book for Boys at his cousins house. He seems to be recreating the accident part of the book. I hear him quoting "diapers are where I pee and poop" not the part about pooping in the potty. I don't recommend this book for the older toddler, needless to say. I did get ds to actually sit on the toilet recently. I bought a ring seat and gave him a new toy to look at while he sat on the toilet. He wasn't interested enough in the toy to sit more than a couple of times (it was a travel size lite-brite set up on a TV tray table). Oh well, at least peeing (until reading that book) isn't a problem.


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## Throkmorton (Jun 30, 2003)

I'm still here too. DS is 3.5 and runs screaming every time he sees the potty, or even if we mention it. Arg, i am so sick of diapers.


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## Treasuremapper (Jul 4, 2004)

I'm very sad to say that I am a member of this group of mothers with children who resist learning to use the potty.

We have books, videos, different kinds of lids and seats and chairs, dolls who use the potty.

I have tried star charts and even tried bribing with a new bicycle, a guinea pig, or a new puppy.







:

I even tried saying nothing for three entire months. We have several sizes of beautiful underpants that she has outgrown.

But my older daughter has thus far staunchly refused to even sit on the potty without a diaper.


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## 5796 (Oct 19, 2002)

yes. I'm still here. DS will be turn four in ten days. He is still in pull ups because he refuses to go poopy in the potty.
he'll pee in the potty all the time but not poopy.

sigh.


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## Jennifer Z (Sep 15, 2002)

3.5 yo and no potty learning in sight.


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## Indigo73 (Aug 2, 2002)

Still here as well, some days are better than others. Still won't poopy in the potty but we have had more all day underwear days. He has no interest in the little potty, so we are going to invest in a couple of the little flip seats for the big one and see if that helps him out.


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## lauradoc (May 21, 2005)

My dd age 3 told me calmly the other day that "I too little for the big potty, Mama!" She expresses A LOT of interest in being a LITTLE baby, like ******* (ds age 6 mos). I think i'll be on this board for a while . . .

NAK


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## Elisha (Jun 15, 2004)

Joining the club.









Tracy- DS#2 will be four this month as well. It's so entirely aggravating!

We have done all sorts of things--treats, stickers, big boy underwear, and lastly, eraseable markers on the mirror (he could draw or write whatever he wanted each time he used the potty). The markers worked for a while about three or four months ago (mostly because older brother thought it was so cool) but he quickly lost interest and back to peeing and pooping in the pull up.

I fear pushing it, I have absolutely no desire to push it, but at the same time I want him in underwear so much.

Like most of the other mamas have said, he is completely capable of going in the potty--has done it several times and was on a two week roll a while back. He just doesn't want to. He knows he doesn't have to stop playing, eating, etc. because he can just pee in the pull up. We did underwear for a while...he peed and pooped in it. He didn't like the pee running down his legs, but he knew we'd clean it up, so it was only temporary. Argh!

How have you mamas dealt with dh/dp not being in agreement about letting child go on his/her own? As in, not pushing just encouraging when they show interest. DH is very loving and patient, but feels DS should be going in the potty now.


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## swissmiss (Mar 22, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Throkmorton*
DS runs screaming every time it is mentioned.
He will be 3 next month.

OMG! You've just made my day! Mine does the same thing, and will be 3 on Aug. 15th. Thanks to this post/thread, I feel just slightly less like a total failure in the potty-training department. :LOL


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## swissmiss (Mar 22, 2005)

My dh started pushing ds at age 2 (as MIL asserts that dh was p-trained by 18 mos.) and has only backed off a bit lately when he witnesses the angst ds expresses when we beg/cajole him to try. It's a losing battle, though, trying to convince dh/dp that this happens to other parents of toddlers! We must all have patience.

BTW, ds does take red port-a-potty in living room, turn it upside down, place it on his head, put on his rubber boots, and Voila! He's a fire-fighter in training. So we didn't totally waste our $10.


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## Elisha (Jun 15, 2004)

Thanks swissmiss, for the encouragement.

DS is cowering in the corner right now, trying to poopie in his pull up before I make him come to the potty. We went through this about 30 minutes ago and I think we might have a constipation problem on it's way.







So I am trying to back off and let him finish. The good news is that he's been dry all morning into the afternoon.









I'll be checking in periodically hoping to post a little more success each time.


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## swissmiss (Mar 22, 2005)

I've been trying the no-diaper around the house method, and am amazed at how long he can go without doing anything. Hours. I have to go more often than he does! He even sits in the bed, watching a movie w/out his diaper and no accidents. Weird.
Still, it all happens in its own time, I guess. Good luck to all.


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## 5796 (Oct 19, 2002)

Elisha,
god, it was so good to read your posting. My 4 year old (7/12) loves wearing his underwear but of course he poops in them. Sigh. Now I have taken to having him watch me when I wash his underwear..it is the least he can do... anyway, he is THE most confident pee-er in the potty. But he just hates the potty for poopy.

Can I ask.... why?

does anyone have any ideas as to why they are scared to poop in the potty?

We have had a lot of poop on the floor and one or two in the potty because I went flying in just before the action happened with the portable potty. Think an episode of Wonder Woman.

I just can't go back to pull ups. DH is more forceful about this than me but like I said I can't make it back to pullup land.


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## Yarnia (Aug 29, 2003)

Has your son seen another male poop in the potty? That might make a difference.

Just a suggestion.
ELizabeth


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## Carsonsmama (May 17, 2004)

Wow Glad I found this thread!!
My son is 33 months old....so really pushing three.
He knows when he has to poop and pee but ABSOLUTELY refuses to sit on his toilet....REFUSES! He has a full out cry when you even talk about it too long....he gets all panicky!
I bought him underwear of all the people he adores and he carries them around rather then uses them! I tried sneaking them on him once and he got upset!
When I change him now and he feels the urge to pee he says "hurry mommy, it's full!"

I haven't pushed potty training yet....but it seems he is so ready....how do you get them to that next step???


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## Elisha (Jun 15, 2004)

Tracy- I'm glad to hear you're having progress with your little guy. We tried the all underwear/no pull up thing, but DS didn't care what he was wearing. He just peed and pooped as usual. Even when I threatened-and carried out-that the Thomas the Tank Engine underwear would go in the trash, he still went in them. (I just got back from the store with another thing of pull ups







) But, I am encouraged and glad to know that it is working for you. Maybe DS just needs a little more time.

We backed way off this past weekend. He was getting constipated and very frustrated. He'll go potty when we ask, but not on his own initiative. We're trying to ask only when it won't make him mad (like when he's intently playing).

I don't know why kids are scared to poop in the potty. He has done it once and it was no big deal to him, but now he won't. I think in our DS case, he doesn't know how, meaning he knows when standing or crouching how to push, but not sitting on a potty. I know that he wants to try, but he sits there forever and can't go, then he gets down goes in his room and fills his pull up. Argh!

Carsonsmama- Our son was the same way for a while, around the same age. He would just cry and scream when we mentioned the potty. I hear similar stories often, so you are not alone. I have learned with DS (who is four next week) not to push potty training. But it's different with each child (our oldest potty trained quickly at 2 1/2.)

I'm glad we're here to encourage each other, but I'll be just as glad to leave when the time comes.


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## 5796 (Oct 19, 2002)

okay. 4years + 1 month, this week.

As of now, DS likes to go peepee in the potty and likes to go poopy in the underwear..although he talks all the time about how he wants to go poopy into the potty..but again, talk is cheap. He does occasionally go poopy while he is standing and wearing no undewear or pants or anything and I quickly usher him to the potty and then he squats..and frankly it falls out. And then he claims "I went poopy in the potty." we say, "No, not quite." And he gets mad but he really knows the difference---he likes to take wide interpretations about lots of things... anyway, sorry to be graphic.. but that's all she wrote.

sigh and sigh and more sigh.

now I will have a glass of wine.


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## 5796 (Oct 19, 2002)

any update, Elisha?


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## Indigo73 (Aug 2, 2002)

I'm not Elisha but nothing new with us. 42 months and still not much interest in the potty except for the rare occasion. He actually used the public restroom with Daddy once while on a hands cleaning expedition.

Underwear is back in the drawer and pull ups are the norm again. I was so hoping for an epiphany. But nope. We are looking for new daycare and we will have to pay $50 more a week since he is not potty trained and he will be with mostly 2 year olds. Keeping my fingers crossed that I can find someone to watch him from their home.


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## 5796 (Oct 19, 2002)

well, yesterday I made a decision. I called DH and he agreed.
DS may wear underwear all day, but now when he feels the poopy coming he should go get some Pull Ups and put them on and go poopy in them.

I went and bought more Pull Ups. After 5 weeks of no pull ups... and loads of poopy in the underwear I said, "enough."

We also bought a brand new potty for him. I let him pick it out. The other was a hand me down and I want him more invested.

so, we'll see how this goes. At least I won't have the poopy in the underwear any longer.

sigh.


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## Indigo73 (Aug 2, 2002)

bump

Some relief may be in sight. I am interviewing a new daycare provider tonight who can care less that ds is not potty trained yet. Fingers are crossed that we click.


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## 5796 (Oct 19, 2002)

I'm just coming nere to post the official end of pull up diapers.

DS become officially potty trained November. Poopy was our final piece. At age 4.4months.

I can't tell you how happy I am.

and I can tell you ---no accidents since potty training. so, I guess the wait was worth it.


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## Indigo73 (Aug 2, 2002)

Congratulations.

DS will use the potty at daycare but not at home with any consistancy. But we are still plugging away.


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## Pam_and_Abigail (Dec 2, 2002)

Congrats Tracy! I just found this thread, and had to post. W did EC with dd1, not faithfully, but some, so that by 18 months she was signalling back and was able to get out of all our diapers. "Oh, she'll be fully trained by the time she's two" said my Mom. I wish she hadn't - I think she jinxed us. Well, a week after 2nd birthday was our move. Oh wait, we couldn't move into our house, the tenant hadn't moved out. But we'd given notice at ours so out we had to go. We lived with my sis for a month, and that's when the stress hit (when would we ever get into our house?). Of course, my sis rented as well, as we were all worried that Abby's accidents would be hard on the floor. So negative reactions began. As well as general high stress. Well Nov 1 we finally got into the house. Things settled a bit, until Jan 21 when baby sister arrives. Well, we're still not getting over that. She'll be one soon. There have been times in the past year when dd2 has used the potty more in a day than dd1 (and we've tried not to mention it to dd1). There have been times when any one of the rest of us has been intentionally peed on by dd1, and things peed on. There have been periods of time recently with almost no accidents, and there have been times like today when she peed maybe once in the potty. There have times when she's wet the bed every night for weeks, and we cosleep all four of us. When we first got into the house over a year ago, she started refusing to wear diapers. We could struggle for 5, 10 minutes getting it on her, through screams and protests, only for her to rip it off in 2 seconds. Don't push it? Well, great if you can actually back up, but like another PP said, we are in limbo. Today I asked her about why she doesn't pee on the potty and she said in a sad voice that she doesn't know. It's so hard not to make a big deal out of it, but we are tired of cleaning pee up off the floors. Our carpets stink so bad, we'll have to rip them up. All our laundry smells like urine, even when clean. We go through more towels mopping up pee than anything else. When we got a bblp for dd2, we let dd1 pick out the colour, hoping it might help. Know what she often does? Pees in it then dumps it on the living room floor. Know how mad we got the first time she came over to her baby sister and intentionally peed on her? (very). She will be 3 1/2 in March.
Thanks for listening.


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## all boys (Jan 5, 2006)

I haven't read all of the other responses yet but wanted to let you know you aren't alone. Duncan showed no interest until this past Aug (3 yrs 4 months)..it was VERY slow at first. I started with a small toliet and had a seat on the big potty always available. I used pull ups (ok..not great but he wanted them and heck if it meant he was gonna try to use the potty I was gonna buy them!) during the day with him. He would make small progress and sometimes regress. I am a firm believer that in time, when he is ready, it will happen.

I can say that now...6 months later we have made INCREDIBLE progress and as of a week ago he is wearing underwear at home and pull ups only when we are out. I plan on phasing out the pull ups over the next week or 2...he just has had a lot of changes going on right now so I wanted to wait. We haven't even tackeled night time pt...figure I'll work on that this summer unless he indciates interest sooner....with a baby coming I don't want to throw too much at him...

There was no secret trick for us...we have done reward charts, verbal praise, books/dvds, I just feel it was a matter of timimg for him

Someone recently recommended a video called Potty Power for Boys and Girl....I have never seen it. We have the bear in the big blue house potty dvd, dr sears book (for kids) on the potty and another potty themed book.


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## mattysmom2180 (Oct 24, 2005)

DS will be 3 next month and also has no interest in using the potty. It's helpful to hear others' responses!


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## adtake (Feb 1, 2006)

I'm so glad to have found this topic! Just what I was looking for. I have 2 boys (#3 boy on the way in April). DS1 is 4.2 DS2 is 2.5 years. DS1 will pee in the potty fabulously and has been for some time. He has pooped in the potty maybe 5 times total. It has been so frustrating. We have tried everything, charts, treats, games in the potty, no TV, bribes of special trips...and nothing yet is hitting home. He says he wants to go, but when we catch him behind the couch (his favorite poop spot) he says no no no ....
then when done...I wanna poop in potty. Makes a mommy want to pull her hair out!







:
We have started with DS2 and when you get him on the potty he will pee about 90% of the time. Some days he doesnt want to go at all and other days he'll go everytime you takes him. He is already my determined child..wayy to much like me.








Thanks again for all you great ladies being here!
Sorry if this is not fluent, first time posting!

s


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## lauradoc (May 21, 2005)

DD age 3.5 now is VERY SLOWLY coming to terms with not being a little baby, like her brother *******. She will now talk about being "a BIG girl, so she has to go on the potty" (sometimes she tells me this while we are changing a loaded diaper).

She has begun to select some random times -- not daily -- to announce that she has to go potty right _now_. Like when I've got my hands full of crying baby, or sinkful of soapy dishes, or we're struggling into the car to get to school (late). Or last night at 3 am when she had a fever and was coughing and I wanted her to take cough syrup, and she looked at me and said "but mama, I have to get on the potty." So I put her on the potty and sure enough! She pooped.







: Then she wanted a diaper back on.

I definitely agree that's easier to let her be in diapers than keep cleaning up messes because she's not ready to be out of them. That's how I keep dh from pushing her too hard, because I'M HERE WITH HER AND I'M THE ONE CLEANING UP.


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## candilynne82 (Feb 25, 2006)

I have a daughter who will be 3 in June. When she first turnrd 2 she went pee pee all the ime and on her own.We didn't always jhave to ask her.Now she refuses to use the potty.I tried putting regular panties on her but that didn't work either. If I ask her if she has to go she says "no no!", then goes about playing. It is very frustrating. I don't want her to be 3 or 4 until she is potty trained.


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## Indigo73 (Aug 2, 2002)

Just wanted to share that the little man has decided to wear underwear 2 days in a row. So exciting. He's been talking about school, so maybe that was the switch he needed. Course now I'll have to find a preschool (a couple half days a week) if that is what he wants.


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## Indigo73 (Aug 2, 2002)

It's official ds is out of diapers completely! Still have a few accidents with BM's but we are making it thru the night and very rare accidents durring the day.


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## Elastagirl (May 24, 2005)

Ds is 3 , has had his own potty since age 2, will go on the potty for his BABYSITTER, but when mama says, "It's potty time!" He replies, "Nope! Not today! No way!" We have Spring Break next week (Dh and I are both teachers) and we plan on having some underwear, "naked time" around the house to see what happens. I really don't want to push him, but the kid weighs 50 lbs and I'm soooo done with diapers! I'll update if anything groundbreaking happens in the next couple of weeks!


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## Elena'sMami (Jul 7, 2004)

Not a real stick, of course. He means that he's ready to apply some kind of consequence for not trying the potty, like a time out or something. My sense is that most people on this list would think this is a bad idea, and I definitely see that there are others with kids in her age range who have not learned to use the potty yet, but it would be helpful if I knew (1) how common this is, (2) are there any potential problems we should be looking into, and (3) has anyone out there used consequences (other than curtailing outings/activities) with success as part of potty learning?
Feel free to respond to me off-list if you don't want to be outed as a Potty Sergeant







(no offense to military families intended!)
DD is 3.25, has a potty, has used the potty successfully, is aware of poops, and seems to be aware of pee - she dances around on both feet wailing, "oh no, it can't be!" Yet she has no interest in potty learning. In fact, she doesn't particularly care to be changed. It doesn't hurt her, but she'd much rather be doing anything else, it seems. We use cloth diapers, and she just doesn't care if she's wet. Poop only bothers her if she's got to sit in her car seat in it. She's just so unmotivated! She's got the pretty panties, the cloth training pants, we've tried setting the timer and going every 30 minutes to try - nada! This morning we got up, put on her training pants, and talked about what to do when we have to pee. We yell, "Mami, potty!" Do we pee-pee in the underwear? No! Where are we going to pee-pee? In the potty! Yay, the potty! She's enthusiastic, she's happy, she takes 8 steps and pees her pants. Not a lot, but enough to matter. I change her, we talk again, and we go downstairs. I say, Do you have to pee-pee any more? No. She climbs up on the bench while I'm making breakfast. 5 minutes later I hear the sound of urine on my floor. It's a flood.
She'll sit on the potty for 15 minutes perfectly content, then stand up, pull up her panties, and pee within 5 minutes of getting up! Arrrggghhh! Thanks for letting me vent.

Rebekah


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## adtake (Feb 1, 2006)

I just posted in another thread..I think we have finally







: got it... here is how we accomplished it.. http://www.mothering.com/discussions...1&postcount=11

I think..









good luck!!
s


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## Pixie2 (May 23, 2006)

My son will be 3 in a week and he has been going pee on the potty for 5 months with out any accidents ever, but will not poop in the potty. I have tried everything - I am not sure what to do. He just poops in his under wear everyday, and always says, "I am not gonna do it any more" Any suggestions


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## azjen43 (Feb 16, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Pixie2*
My son will be 3 in a week and he has been going pee on the potty for 5 months with out any accidents ever, but will not poop in the potty. I have tried everything - I am not sure what to do. He just poops in his under wear everyday, and always says, "I am not gonna do it any more" Any suggestions

With my DD (3 yrs 3 mos old) it's the opposite. She poops in the potty every time, but refuses to go pee. She doesn't mind wet pullups, in fact, gets annoyed when I change her....actually at this point, I usually just tell her to go get a fresh pullup from the bathroom and put it on, which she will do with enough reminding. She does actively resist going pee in the potty, though. I will ask her if she needs to go, she says no, and minutes later will wet her pants. Big girl panties or no panties, pullups, or diapers, it makes no difference.

I'm a teacher, too, so as soon as school's out, I'm thinking of trying Martha Sears' potty training in a weekend method. (I think it's in the Sears "Discipline Book")

I really don't believe in pressuring.... pretty sure she'll learn eventually, but dang, I'm sure tired of the pullups.


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## 5796 (Oct 19, 2002)

Okay..I am giving this forum a Christmas present by bumping up this dusty thread... and to tell you a couple of things.

One: What ended up working best for us was my husband cutting a hole in the pull up. My son clearly liked the tight feeling of the pull up. So, he sat on the potty a few times, pushed the poop out while wearing the pull up. After he saw how easy it was, we just removed the pull up and he "got" it.

Yes, we were on the later side. 4.3 months...but and this is a big but...
my son is now 7. He has NEVER had an accident. Not in his bed. Not in his clothes. He does not have to wear anything at night.

I still hear some parents who have kids my son's age wearing night protection.

So, you see guys..... it might be worth the long wait.

Oh, reading my old posts brought up all the trying times like it was yesterday. That is why I felt I had to boost this thread!

hope it helps.


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## Meli65 (Apr 29, 2002)

What fun to get an update! My late-blooming three-year-old is also seven now -- he pretty much decided one day that he didn't want to wear diapers any more and that was it for him. He had maybe one or two accidents after that and that was it. Dry at night, too!

His little brother, now age 3.5, trained himself shortly after his third birthday -- he's not dry at night though.


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## 5796 (Oct 19, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Meli65* 
What fun to get an update! My late-blooming three-year-old is also seven now -- *he pretty much decided one day that he didn't want to wear diapers any more and that was it for him*. He had maybe one or two accidents after that and that was it. Dry at night, too!

His little brother, now age 3.5, trained himself shortly after his third birthday -- he's not dry at night though.


How old was he when he made the decision?


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## Meli65 (Apr 29, 2002)

I'd say right around 3 years 6 months or 7 months.


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## 5796 (Oct 19, 2002)

ah, my boy still was later.
oh, that was such a long period for us....I am so glad it is over.


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## 5796 (Oct 19, 2002)

just a little bump.


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## anitaj71 (Mar 1, 2006)

Thank you for the 'bump' ! My ds is three & 1/2 , he was born July 14/05. Speaking of stubborn July babies . . .

He will not go! He won't even 'practice' sitting on the potty it's making me nuts. I'm glad I'm not alone.


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## 5796 (Oct 19, 2002)

you are not alone! lol.


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## Jennifer Z (Sep 15, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jennifer Z* 
3.5 yo and no potty learning in sight.

Yeah. understatement









I now have a girl who turned 3 today and is a little more interested in potty learning, but hasn't gotten the hang of it.

If you are looking for inspirational "this is how we did it" stories, look elsewhere. He is almost 7yo is and still in diapers. *sigh* We are working with doctors on his bowel issues and he had a moderately firm bowel movement for the first time in his entire life about a week ago...hoping for a repeat. lol.


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## mean_jeannie (Mar 3, 2007)

Thanks for bumping this thread. It really is helpful to read it! Ds is still only 2.5 but I _feel_ like he will never pl. I will be patient. Very, very patient!


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## 5796 (Oct 19, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mean_jeannie* 
Thanks for bumping this thread. It really is helpful to read it! Ds is still only 2.5 but I _feel_ like he will never pl. I will be patient. Very, very patient!










he will. he will.
hugs


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## 5796 (Oct 19, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jennifer Z* 
Yeah. understatement









I now have a girl who turned 3 today and is a little more interested in potty learning, but hasn't gotten the hang of it.

If you are looking for inspirational "this is how we did it" stories, look elsewhere. He is almost 7yo is and still in diapers. *sigh* We are working with doctors on his bowel issues and he had a moderately firm bowel movement for the first time in his entire life about a week ago...hoping for a repeat. lol.

what are the bowel issues? Why so soft?


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## cjuniverse (Sep 22, 2005)

Me too, mami. Don't sweat it. He's pooped in the potty once or twice for our care provider. Never peed.

No interest when it's us asking, though. No interest at all.

I'm not going to worry about it. He'll learn when he's ready. Until then, he's in training pants and we talk about the potty.

As with all else child-related, they come to things in their own time. Potty-learning included.


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## 5796 (Oct 19, 2002)

bump


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## Rosehip (Dec 30, 2007)

Just wanted to chime in as a "survivor" of the "3 yo who stubbornly refused to use the potty" club. We finally got it together by about 3.5. It was stressful (I'm really not one to think "wear diapers as long as you want"), and I was beyond my wit's end, but we're here!! You'll make it.


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## Ms. B. Sprout (Nov 30, 2006)

Oh, I needed to read this thread, y'all! Thanks!

DS will be 3 in March and is super potty-resistant. He always has been -- we've gently tried on and off for a long time to get DS interested in the potty.

Yesterday we started full-time nakey-butt, and we're seeing what happens. So far, two bathtub pees and two floor pees. No poop. And this kid can hold pee and poop for a looong time! Arrrghh!

This thread is going to help me be a sweet mama instead of a grumpy, crotchety, impatient meanie.


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## leigh09 (Dec 16, 2008)

I also needed this thread since my 3 yo has absolutely no interest in the potty other than to sit on it fully clothed.

How does everyone tell people to get off their backs about the whole potty issue? I tell my family I am only concerned that he uses the potty before he starts school (he is born early in the year so he won't be starting preschool until he's over 4 1/2 years old) but my family believes pottying should be done with the earlier the better. Being in diapers at this age is simply weird.


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## 5796 (Oct 19, 2002)

Yeah, families are pretty good about pestering parents to get their child 'done with it.' As always the best advice is to ignore them. Smile, nod and let it fade right out of your brain.
you and your child will work it out!


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## SeekingSerenity (Aug 6, 2006)

Another survivor here... looking for a place to say, SHE'S FINALLY DOING IT!!!!







:







:







:







:

She is 3 years, 3.5 months and FINALLY it seems to have clicked for her. We're not accident-free yet, but we're peeing AND pooping almost exclusively in the potty. Granted, the chair is positioned in the dead-center of the living room, but right now that's what works, so it's fine with me!

DS was 3 years, 8 months when he got it, but for some reason DD has been more stressful. Just yesterday, it really seemed to hit for her, and now she's all about the potty. Only one major accident so far since this round of PLing began.

So... so... relieved.


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## kristin1924 (Mar 10, 2007)

Oh thank the heavens. I haven't been on mothering.com in forever (busy semester of school), but had to log in today because my 3 year old went once (a month ago) and now will not use the potty. Today, I was so sick of changing yet another poop (fuzzi buns) diaper that I sort of freaked out. I yelled out 'this is not going to happen anymore"!! And I felt so bad because I do not want her feeling anxiety about this.

Anyway, she sat on the potty for an hour (in the middle of our living room), watching a Disney movie and then reading... and then she got up, put the undies on... then was in my bedroom with me and went right on the rug again.

How do I not get mad (inside)??? I need to breathe. So, right now, I know she'll have to poop, but she keeps telling me no.

HELP!


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## nolonger (Jan 18, 2006)

Another survivor/supporter here. dd was well over 36 months before she was done with daytime dipes for good.

In my readings about EC, i have come to believe that it's kind of a fashions in childrearing thing because it was no big deal at all and dd was by no means one of the older kids in our group to wear dipes.

i'm not saying we should go back to driving around without putting our kids in car seats or feeding six week olds rice cereal or anything, just making an observation and trying to help.


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## riverscout (Dec 22, 2006)

I love this thread. Thank you Tracy for bumping it now and again.

I am feeling a bit more relaxed after reading it about the fact that my daughter who is 3y2m is still in the midst of PL.


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## 5796 (Oct 19, 2002)

a friendly bump.


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