# "My milk never came in"



## lunamegn (Nov 30, 2004)

What are the possible reasons as to why a woman's milk would not come in after birth?


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## Erinz (Mar 1, 2006)

I know that excessive IV can delay it.... but a real never came in?? Never heard of it. Is this an older person talking? Perhaps selective memory combined with regret and defensiveness or the need for dismissal? Honestly not sure.


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## Maluhia (Jun 24, 2007)

I always smile and nod - but outside of retained placenta I've never heard of it for real - my SIL said that happened then complained of having to take medication to stop that leaking when the baby was just over a week old. humph. bit my lip hard that day to stay polite.


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## Jezzy (Sep 20, 2006)

I thought that I had this problem too with my older dd and didn't bf







this time I wasn't going to give up as fast. My milk came in but I never got engorged so I thought that I had no milk again. Thank goodness that I had a mw that came to see us everyday otherwise I would have probably given up too.

My milk came in on day 5 pp. My mw said that not everyone gets engorged and notices when the milk has arived only on the babies swollowing is it noticable.

Do you have a mw? How many days pp are you?


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## tireesix (Apr 27, 2006)

I have known of women who are disappointed about their inability to breastfeed....... They talk about the birth and the fact they had retained placenta etc, shame no one told tham that a retained placenta can cause breastfeeding issues........... Just sad all round.


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## becoming (Apr 11, 2003)

Women say this to me *all* the time when they find out I'm nursing my son. You would not believe how often I hear it. I think what it means is, "My milk didn't come in within the first couple of days, my baby lost a little weight, so I thought it was necessary to formula-feed."

My milk didn't come in with DS2 until Day 5, so if I hadn't educated myself on BFing beforehand, I probably would have let others convince me that I at least needed to supplement by Day 3 or so.


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## Mrs-Mama (Jul 2, 2007)

I'm not sure why a woman's milk would never come in. I confess that I have my doubts when people tell me that, too. However, when my childhood cat had her first litter of kittens, her milk either didn't come in at all or wasn't adequate and sadly all the kittens died







She had another litter later, though, and had no problems nursing them.


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## BetsyS (Nov 8, 2004)

When I hear this story, it's almost always coupled with, "and I remember how bad my breasts hurt after the baby came. I had to wear a tight bra for weeks!"


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## clintonhillmama (Dec 21, 2006)

i have a friend who's milk came in technically... but she wasn't producing enough for her babe to survive on. she saw an LC, got her thyroid checked, was taking all kinds of supplements to up her supply, pumping 8x a day in addition to nursing and still only gets 10ml from each breast 8 weeks later.

i find it really close-minded when mamas don't believe that this actually happens to some of us. it does happen, and you shouldn't be so dismissive of mamas who can't bf. i'm sure they would appreciate some empathy from other mamas, as opposed to judgement.


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## jillian+1 (Aug 30, 2007)

There ARE medical reasons a woman wouldn't be able to produce milk, or enough milk to feed a baby. There's a forum here for women with bf'ing problems. Insufficient Glandular Tissue comes to mind.

Probably most women who think they can't bf actually can, just like most women who think they needed a c-section probably didn't, but you never know if the one you're talking to is one of those who really does have a medical reason. So be careful whom you judge.


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## thepeach80 (Mar 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *clintonhillmama* 
i have a friend who's milk came in technically... but she wasn't producing enough for her babe to survive on. she saw an LC, got her thyroid checked, was taking all kinds of supplements to up her supply, pumping 8x a day in addition to nursing and still only gets 10ml from each breast 8 weeks later.

i find it really close-minded when mamas don't believe that this actually happens to some of us. it does happen, and you shouldn't be so dismissive of mamas who can't bf. i'm sure they would appreciate some empathy from other mamas, as opposed to judgement.

There's a big difference IMO between a mom w/ low supply and a mom who just never had ANY milk. I've had supply issues w/ all 3 of mine, but I still got milk in. I was never engorged, my breasts never got larger, but I was able to give them about 1/2 bm, more in Evan's case b/c he never got off me.







I encourage all moms that anything is better than nothing. While formula isn't the top choice, if giving baby 1 bottle of formula a day of whatever keeps that mom bfing, that's better for baby than all formula. This is coming from a mom w/ a rx ff toddler.


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## justmama (Dec 24, 2002)

ya know I never thought this could happen either but I saw it happen and the doctors never figured it out. I know a girl(and I say girl because she was JUST 20 and I was I think 24?) a few years ago who had her second baby and wanted desperately to nurse and had this problem. Her son was super duper fussy and she took him in and he had dropped over a pound from birth(natural vaginal, no drugs, no iv. precipitous labor). He was a big baby to start and dropped weight like crazy in those few days and was constantly crying and looked dehydrated. The hospital started questioning her and her hubby and was saying that they were starving the kid so they started formula and voila, no crying, well hydrated, started gaining weight in 2 days. He was thriving. She tried pumping and didn't get more than a drop or two. Tried an LC and still, the baby was hysterically screaming at the breast. She gave up. I have to say she really tried hard for her son. She did. And it broke my heart because she was so upset when she finally gave up. I volunteered to pump for her son since I already had a huge freezer stash from our nicu time but her husband wouldn't hear of it so she turned me down. But honestly I was so skeptical until the kid was hospitalized for 2 weeks due to this problem and they were almost investigated for child abuse. I had to watch their other daughter for days while they were in the hospital with the baby. No one ever figured out why.


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## lunamegn (Nov 30, 2004)

I was curious as to actual medical reasons why milk wouldn't come in. I know that having IV fluids during labor can increase the weight of the baby and then when they drop that water weight people assume it's because the woman's milk isn't sufficient. Or when a baby wants to eat eat eat, sometimes mamas assume it's becaue they're not getting enough.

I was just visiting my husband's nephew's girlfriend and she wasn't nursing her 7 week old because her milk didn't come in fast enough and he was fussy and then she started supplementing. She was telling me that her milk didn't come in when obviously it had.

I wonder how often it truly does not come in.

I wish there was better support and advice out there for ALL women.


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## moondiapers (Apr 14, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *clintonhillmama* 
i have a friend who's milk came in technically... but she wasn't producing enough for her babe to survive on. she saw an LC, got her thyroid checked, was taking all kinds of supplements to up her supply, pumping 8x a day in addition to nursing and still only gets 10ml from each breast 8 weeks later.

i find it really close-minded when mamas don't believe that this actually happens to some of us. it does happen, and you shouldn't be so dismissive of mamas who can't bf. i'm sure they would appreciate some empathy from other mamas, as opposed to judgement.

but her milk DID come in. She had a low supply, which is a completely different issue. And low supply doesn't = unable to breastfeed if there is adequate education and support availabe. Heck, my dh finger fed our son with an SnS while I was at work. If my mom had been his caregiver she would have taped the tube to her nipple instead of her finger and even without milk, she would have been breastfeeding. My dd and I were a victim of bad information and no support, which resulted in my being unable to nurse her. So I educated myself before having another child to make sure that didn't happen again.


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## ann_of_loxley (Sep 21, 2007)

It is rare, but it does happen...that a womans milk just doesnt come in until much later. Some womans milk can take as long as 6 weeks to come in! Of course, by then you would have given up - and if you got very far trying your baby would have shown you the signs (dehydration, fussy, etc). This is what is so great about donated breastmilk or simply just having someone else close by to help breastfeed your baby when you need it until the milk does come in. But there are very few people out there willing to look past their own nipples (so to speak lol) - for some reason the thought of their baby taking another womans milk, drinking from another mother (god forbid!) is 'icky' and 'yuck' and 'nasty' and 'sick' and they would 'never ever' do that - and would rather formula feed.
No milk ever coming in...ever... even more rare, but I am sure it happens.
But at the end of the day - I would say 99% of cases (because you do get a lot of people saying that their milk never came in as their reason why they formula fed) are down to simply lack of support, help, proper information, etc.


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## Teyu (Jun 10, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *becoming* 
Women say this to me *all* the time when they find out I'm nursing my son. You would not believe how often I hear it. I think what it means is, "My milk didn't come in within the first couple of days, my baby lost a little weight, so I thought it was necessary to formula-feed."

My milk didn't come in with DS2 until Day 5, so if I hadn't educated myself on BFing beforehand, I probably would have let others convince me that I at least needed to supplement by Day 3 or so.

I agree with your interpretation of what this means. I had a pretty dismal hospital experience when it came to breastfeeding. Thankfully, posting on a message board [not this one, this one scares me cause I am so new. That always happens lol







] and hearing peoples' stories about incompetent [regarding breastfeeding] hospital staff and how they try to push formula on you really made me prepared for the worst. My boyfriend, probably a bigger lactivist than me!, stayed with my son and I in the hospital for those entire 4 and a half days I was there because he was worried they were going to harass me. Well they did anyway, sort of.

Anyway I gave birth on a Monday [January 28th] afternoon and my milk came in on Thursday. I had trouble latching him in the beginning and it seemed like just as we got the hang of nursing with the colostrum my milk came in and he was having trouble latching again. Well I told my nurse at the time, who was really... I dunno if I would say bitchy but she kinda sneered and seemed sarcastic. I said to her, "I am having trouble getting him to latch," and she said to me, I swear to god she said this, "Have you tried rubbing formula on your nipples?"

LOL. I must have had the most dumbfounded expression on my face because I sat in silence for about 5 long seconds and then said, "...No?" I love telling that story. I should make a thread asking people for the dumbest comments "professionals" have ever said to them. Sorry I went off topic there! Like I said I just love telling that story!


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## PatioGardener (Aug 11, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lunamegn* 
I was curious as to actual medical reasons why milk wouldn't come in.


Post partum haemorrhage resulting in damage to the pituitary gland (Sheehan's syndrome) can result in zero milk production. It is really rare now in countries with good birth support and/or emergency medical care, but still exists in countries without that support.


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## aprilv (Aug 31, 2007)

my mom breastfed her first 4 children. my little brother, her fifth, was born very prematurely and had many medical problems. in retrospect, i believe she went into some kind of shock from this traumatic experience. she developed horrible ppd... and her milk never came in. after nursing 4 babies, i trust that she would have known.

i know some women seem to use this as an excuse, but not everyone does. i'm sure breastfeeding would have helped my mom to feel better about my brother's birth experience and early weeks. luckily everything worked out ok.


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## Danielle13 (Oct 31, 2007)

I hear this ALL the time and it is SO frusterating. I know that every single one of my friends didn't have this rare milk issue. I usually ask 'did you suppliment with formula in the first few days' and the answer is usually yes. So I just say well you shouldnt suppliment next time...if you're really having problems get a SNS and when they're not interested in options or solutions thats when i know they don't care.









And honestly! If they just want an excuse to why they didn't bf just tell the truth 'I didn't want to' I'll have more respect for you. humph!







:


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## Samjm (Mar 12, 2005)

It does happen, but it is really very rare. Most of the women who say this are either using it as an excuse or were just not very well-informed.

But yes, it can and does happen.


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## MilkTrance (Jul 21, 2007)

While I totally understand what some of you are getting at, I think that a lot of women whose milk "didn't come in" are very sad about the absence of a nursing relationship, and it's this sadness and regreat -- not willful ignorance -- that makes them defensive.


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## milkybean (Mar 19, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lunamegn* 
I was curious as to actual medical reasons why milk wouldn't come in. I know that having IV fluids during labor can increase the weight of the baby and then when they drop that water weight people assume it's because the woman's milk isn't sufficient. Or when a baby wants to eat eat eat, sometimes mamas assume it's becaue they're not getting enough.

I was just visiting my husband's nephew's girlfriend and she wasn't nursing her 7 week old because her milk didn't come in fast enough and he was fussy and then she started supplementing. She was telling me that her milk didn't come in when obviously it had.

I wonder how often it truly does not come in.

I wish there was better support and advice out there for ALL women.


I think it might be very very difficult to really find out how often it TRULY happens, b/c there's no real profession that is the absolute expert on this, so everyone just has to hope that the professional they go to actually knows what might be going on. Does that make sense? All "we" mainly have to go by are anecdotal stories, but so many of those are based on what doctors told the women, and who knows if that was true, or if a different thing might have been done (or not done) with a different doctor or nurse.

I'm sure that women who have had reductions have problems with this, thyroid problems, other things that have been mentioned here.

But sooooo many other women are told that that is what they are experiencing, when perhaps they are not, that to get the *true* statistics would be tricky, if not impossible.

If I hadn't been such a die-hard breastfeeding-type (thought I was a homebirth person too but I hired the wrong people and trusted them even when my heart was telling me to fire them), and if I hadn't already had the experience with professionals hinted at in my parenthesis, AND if I hadn't been booted from the hospital 42 hours post-op (in other words, no professionals to watch over me), since my milk didn't come in until well into the 5th day, I'm quite sure I could have been one of the statistics for the people that some are talking about, where milk "never came in" but later they had to take pills or wear tight bras to keep from leaking. But I had no one watching over me and was angry beyond belief at my husband and aunt, who were there doing my bidding b/c I was plain old EVIL to them at that point (and they both felt they deserved it and didn't complain, even to this day), so I listened to no one but my heart, and voila, 5th full day, there was the milk, gulp gulp.

But back to the question, since stats would be self-reported by women who were probably told they had this problem, or reported by professionals who aren't the experts...I think it would be impossible to get a true picture of how many people it truly applies to.

I think I might have gone on a tangent there. Oops.


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