# kids talk about being spanked



## Veronique (Nov 10, 2005)

I was a teacher until I had my son. Anyways, last year I remember a girl in grade 3 discussing with her friends how the night before she got spanked by her dad for being bad. The principal of the school overheard the conversation and asked her, "how did you feel when your dad spanked you? Don't you think it would be better if you were grounded for being bad? Can you think of other alternatives for punishment when you're disobedient?" (anyways, something to that affect...I don't remember the exact wording)
Well, the girl said, "actually, I prefer to get spanked coz it's over so quickly, but if I were to get grounded, I'd suffer longer!" Her friends all agreed with her!

I just remembered this and thought I'd share it all with you to see what you think.


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## AntoninBeGonin (Jun 24, 2005)

Lots of kids say that. It doesn't mean they really believe it. Often little kids are unable to view spanking as wrong because it comes from mommy and daddy. Mommy and daddy love me, so deliberately hurting me must be okay, thinks the child.

Up until the first time I held our son in my arms I had planned to spank for dangerous "running into the road" activity. Once I held him my first thought was, "how do parents do it the first time? How do they take those hands that have held and nurtured a completely trusting life, and use them to cause pain?" I thought about how devestating it must be for the infant, then I started being more honest with myself about the pain I still carry from my childhood. That is not something any child should endure.

~Nay


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## Plummeting (Dec 2, 2004)

My opinion? Hmmm, how to verbalize it.... Okay, they have been taught not to respect themselves or their own bodies. They have been taught that no one else has to respect them or their bodies. Therefore, they think it's okay for someone to violate them in that way. It doesn't mean it isn't damaging to them! Instead, the very fact that they say they would *rather* someone _hit them_ proves that all of their self-respect has been destroyed, if they were ever allowed to have any to begin with.

Also, you have to take into account the fact that the only options in those childrens' heads were punishments in one form or another. They were offered grounding or spanking, both of which are pretty awful things to do to a kid. I bet you if the principal had said, "Don't you think it would have been better if your dad had talked to you about what went wrong and how you could solve the problem instead of hitting you?" then the answer would have been different.


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## kirei (Dec 2, 2004)

I was spanked when I was younger, and I have said the same thing myself.


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## Dal (Feb 26, 2005)

I was spanked once that I can recall and the memory is incredibly humiliating. It is probably my most humiliating memory. I remember being disgusted with my father. I have no idea what my offence was, probably something fairly minor as I was a very agreeable, non-defiant child.


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## mother nurture (Oct 13, 2004)

I found it really ironic to read this. I over heard some children the other day discussing that they get spanked at home. It really bothered me. I called my mom to ask her about it. She explained it like this to me..." I was beat as a child w/ a belt, spoon, etc. It was humiliating and I never wanted to do that as a mother. That is why I never spanked you. You feel the same way and that is why you don't spank dd. However, other parents were spanked as children and feel like they turned out fine, so they spank their kids. There is a difference between spanking and abuse, but it is a very fine line. I never wanted to walk near that."

I think that she had a good point, but it still is hard for me to understand. I wonder if I ever will.


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