# sudden night waking, inconsolable crying, this mama's gonna lose it please help



## Llyra (Jan 16, 2005)

Update down below--- found the cause, but what to do now? Any advice would be appreciated!

I can't figure out what's up with DD. She's almost 21 months, and she's been sleeping in a crib in her own room since around 16 months. Before that, she'd been in a crib in my room for a month or two, and before that in a sidecar, and before THAT in my bed. It was a long gradual process of moving her into her own room, and she's been sleeping happily in there since the first night we moved her. She goes to sleep easily with a simple bedtime routine, and usually sleeps all night, with only brief wakings-- she just wants to see a loving face, get her head rubbed a bit, and she's back to sleep again.

For the past three nights, she's been going to sleep easily enough, but then waking at around 1 or 2 am shrieking hysterically. When I go to her, or DH does, she completely refuses all comforting. If I pick her up or try to hold her, she thrashes around and pushes me away. She isn't hungry or thirsty, and doesn't want to get up and play awhile. She'll calm briefly if I tell her this one story about the ducks that live behind my mom's house, but that's literally the ONLY thing that will get her to stop crying, and even that's only short-term. She's rolling around and grabbing at her blankets and rubbing her face into her pillow like she really just wants to go to sleep, but it's as if she just can't get comfortable or just can't relax enough to sleep, and she just keeps crying and crying.

The second night I brought her into my bed, and she wasn't comforted in the least. Just kept doing the same, plus she seemed really irritated by having me and DH so close-- kept shoving us away.

Last night DH slept in there on the twin bed that's in there, and he said she just kept on crying no matter what he did or said. It's like she really doesn't care whether one of us is there or not-- she's gonna cry no matter what we do.

The only thing to do was just to sit with her and talk to her and rub her back and just be there with her while she let it all out. It was heartbreaking and horrible.

Then sometime around 5 or 6 she'll finally stop crying, and fall asleep until around 11 am. She wakes up basically happy, and seems fine although a bit tired during the day. Yesterday she napped easily and without any crying at all. AFter 3 days of this, though, I'm a bleary-eyed maniac, and DH didn't even go into work today, which can't happen again.

She's crying for more than 3 hours, and I don't know what to do. I'm falling apart here listening to her cry, and trying so hard to help but having no idea what's wrong or what to do. I can't imagine she's sick-- she's happy and looks well all day. It's really like being with a colicky newborn, with that helpless wishing you could help if you could only just figure out what the problem is. She won't let me comfort her, or hold her, or touch her more than lightly. I just feel so helpless. She's never acted this way before.

The only thing I can think of is that we recently stopped offering her the pacifier at night, at the recommendation of her speech therapist and OT (DD has a mild expressive delay and some feeding issues). But that was a month ago, and she's been fine since then-- she never really seemed to mind not having it. And she isn't signing for her binky when I go to her, which I know she can do. She just cries.

I dunno what I'm asking. I guess I'm just hoping somebody can shed some light on the situation, or maybe I'm just looking for some sympathy. I feel like the world's worst mother for no being able to help DD, and I am so totally dreading tonight.
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## katies_mama (Jun 9, 2005)

It sounds like she might be experiencing night terrors. I don't have any experience with this, but I've read about it happening to young children as well as adults.

http://www.nightterrors.org/

Here are some links that are specifically about night terrors and toddlers. I don't know if the information or recommendations can be trusted, but it is a starting point.

http://toddlerstoday.com/resources/a...ghtterrors.htm
http://www.theparentreport.com/resou...sleep/121.html
http://www.drgreene.com/21_155.html


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## BellinghamCrunchie (Sep 7, 2005)

She's awake, crying, and refusing comfort for 4-5 hours each night? That sounds very intense to me. My first thought is that she is having some physical discomfort. In my experience with our DD, if she's experiencing mild discomfort/pain she wants and accepts comforting from us. If she is experiencing severe pain or discomfort, that is when the added stimulation of being held or talked to is just too much.

I would agree with the PP about night terrors except for the duration. 4-5 hours of intense crying is just too long to be night terrors. She would have woken up before then.

Has anything changed with her diet? Like, more dairy? I would suspect dairy first as causing discomfort. Is she still Bfing? If so, do you have beer/wine or anything with sulfites in the evening and then nurse her? How are her bowel movements (normal frequency, consistency?).

I would really look for a physical cause.

When our DD has occasionally woken up crying and doesn't soothe within 5-10 minutes, I get out of bed with her. I put Baby Bach or some other fairly low-key video on, and sit with her on my lap. 90% of the time she settles down watching the video and then nurses back to sleep and we go back to bed. However, if the video doesn't work, then I know it is something painful and physical, like a bad stomach ache. It sounds awful to use a video as an attempt to comfort her, but that's not it, exactly. Its a means for me to try to understand what is going on with her, because how she responds to the video lets me know if she just needs to "change the channel" so to speak (was having night terrors or bad dreams) or if its physical discomfort.


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## PaxMamma (Jul 22, 2005)

it could also be growing pains. do you think she could be going through a growth spurt? i know it's hard, but sometimes all you can do is let her know you're there if she needs anything.


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## RootBeerFloat (Nov 22, 2005)

This sounds like nightterrors to me. My 14 month old dd has them and they are terrible. It is so distressing to listen to your baby cry for hours in the middle of the night and there's nothing you can do to stop it. Ours seem to come in waves--a few bad weeks then a few months with nothing wrong.

In a nightterror, the baby isn't awake. It looks like s/he is, but s/he isn't. However, you should stay nearby and be a comforting prescence. I sit on our bed with dd between my legs if she won't let me hold her.

The field of psychology can help with nightterrors. We were referred to an infant psychology lab at the U of Colorado but they stopped on their own so I haven't gone. But you could go that route.

Dd's doc has told me that if she cries for more than 2 hours inconsolably we need to call the dr or go to the ER. One night, we hit the 3 hour mark and she pulled out of it as we were calling our Children's Hospital. All the lights were on, she was naked and I was massaging her, and she didn't wake up until dh brought the phone into the bedroom. I've also heard 3 hours, but regardless, you should call a doctor if it goes on nonstop for 2-3 hours in case something physical is wrong.

Hang in there.


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## lisac77 (May 27, 2005)

Is she still getting teeth? My DS would wake up and just cry and cry and cry and there was nothing we could do right for him. It would take hours to get him back to sleep. So tiring and frustrating. Things that did help: teething tablets and Motrin.

If you are the one doing most of the care at night, I would suggest trying to bone up on sleep during the day when your DD sleeps, or maybe taking a nap when your DH gets home in the evening. I also found that Rescue Remedy helped me stay calm during these episodes.


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## his babies mama (May 23, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BellinghamCrunchie*
She's awake, crying, and refusing comfort for 4-5 hours each night? That sounds very intense to me. My first thought is that she is having some physical discomfort. In my experience with our DD, if she's experiencing mild discomfort/pain she wants and accepts comforting from us. If she is experiencing severe pain or discomfort, that is when the added stimulation of being held or talked to is just too much.

I would agree with the PP about night terrors except for the duration. 4-5 hours of intense crying is just too long to be night terrors. She would have woken up before then.

Has anything changed with her diet? Like, more dairy? I would suspect dairy first as causing discomfort. Is she still Bfing? If so, do you have beer/wine or anything with sulfites in the evening and then nurse her? How are her bowel movements (normal frequency, consistency?).

I would really look for a physical cause.

When our DD has occasionally woken up crying and doesn't soothe within 5-10 minutes, I get out of bed with her. I put Baby Bach or some other fairly low-key video on, and sit with her on my lap. 90% of the time she settles down watching the video and then nurses back to sleep and we go back to bed. However, if the video doesn't work, then I know it is something painful and physical, like a bad stomach ache. It sounds awful to use a video as an attempt to comfort her, but that's not it, exactly. Its a means for me to try to understand what is going on with her, because how she responds to the video lets me know if she just needs to "change the channel" so to speak (was having night terrors or bad dreams) or if its physical discomfort.

I also think it's physical pain maybe an ear infection.


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## Llyra (Jan 16, 2005)

Hey all, thanks for your feedback. It did sound like physical pain, and I was all prepared to take her in to the ped today to try and ferret out the reason, but then last night I think I figured it out.

I slept in there with her last night, right from the start, so I could see what was happening. I think she's afraid of our air conditioning. It makes sense-- we turned it on three days ago, which is when the waking started. See, it kicks on and off as it keeps the place at a constant temperature, and every time it turns on or off, it sets DD hysterical again. She can't see where the noise is coming from, so she couldn't point to it when I asked her what was wrong, and she has no word for it. To her it's just this mysterious noise that comes and goes with no rhyme or reason. She hasn't reacted badly to it in the daytime, but then again during the day there's a ton of distractions and she's not alone in the dark with the noise.

After about an hour of trying to comfort her last night, I finally made the connection and I asked her if "the windy noise" was what was upsetting her, and she actually pulled herself together long enough to nod, and when I switched it off, she grumbled for a about 15 minutes and then went straight to sleep.

Okay, problem solved. But how the heck do I cool my house this summer?







: She's gonna ROAST in that room without the a/c. I know, because DH and I used to sleep in there. I don't keep it very cold, it's set at 75 degrees, but that's a whole lot cooler than it would be otherwise.

Any advice?


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