# teaching toddler to walk on sidewalk



## Solose (May 10, 2008)

My ds is 13 mo. and is pretty good at walking so i'm trying to let him walk outside more and not always carrying him everywhere. He loves to be able to walk outside, but the problem is that he always wants to go into the street. We live near the city, so there are a lot of busy streets with lots cars where he absolutely cannot go anywhere near the street. Even on the street we live on, which is more calm, i'm not comfortable letting him get near the street. But of course, as soon as we get outside, he points and says "car!" and starts running for the curb.
I have tried telling him 'no, we walk on the sidewalk." I've tried gently turning him the other way. I've tried taking him by the hand which really doesn't work, he totally freaks out when I try to hold his hand. So I end up just having to carry him back to the sidewalk.After a while he starts getting very frustrated and just doesn't want to walk anymore. It just drives me insane, instead of a nice calm walk i'm constantly trying to get him away from the road, touching other people's cars and ripping up their gardens, trying to go up the steps to other houses, etc. I understand he is still very little and doesn't understand my directions, but grrrrr








I was at a storytime for 12-18 mo. olds with him this week, and as we were leaving, I saw a mom and her dd leaving, and the girl was justly calmly holding her mom's hand and walking next to her. It made me wonder, is this refusing to handhold and to walk on the sidewalk thing just a personality difference, or am I just failing to teach ds. What can I do about this? I think I'm pretty lenient, but there are some things that ds just cannot be allowed to do, and it frustrates me that he just doesn't get it and I see no way of teaching him. It makes me feel like I just can't trust him to walk anywhere but at home.


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## Super Glue Mommy (Jan 4, 2009)

just keep redirecting him, it takes time. redirection can be rough. im lucky that my children caught no quickly, but they didnt start walking well until 12-14 months (first steps at 10-12) so we didnt do the hand walking much until about 15 months.


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## reezley (May 27, 2006)

Sounds like you're doing the right thing, just be consistent. I think kids get it at around 18-20 months. Around that age they (at least my kids) started to generally be good little following ducks.







At 13 months, no way, all over the place.

Then, at about 2.5... just when you think they understand the rule and the danger... they start testing out darting for the road again, except this time, it's *because* they understand the rule and are testing it.


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## labdogs42 (Jan 21, 2009)

It was hard to teach my DS to walk and hold my hand, too. I think it took until he was 3 to get this under control! I'd keep redirecting, but if his safety comes into play, I'd look into a baby leash or taking the stroller on walks. If he can walk on the sidewalk, or walk holding your hand or the stroller, great, if he can't, then he needs to ride for a while. That would be my logical consequence.


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## Snuzzmom (Feb 6, 2008)

Yup, redireciton. Also, starting from when he was pre-walking, we say the following EVERY SINGLE TIME we cross the street: "Stop, look left look right, look left again. If there are no cars coming, we can go!" And he knows he is always to hold Mommy's or Daddy's hand when crissing the street. This all has worked very well.


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## cutekid (Aug 5, 2004)

DS was about that age when we moved to an area where we had streets on both sides of our house. I wanted to let DS walk in the yard without me constantly worrying about the road so I "trained" him (for lack of a better word)
Some GD folks might cringe at this idea. I would take him out side, and show him the Yard, and tell him "This is where we stay". I would walk him up to the road and say "WE do NOT go this far". IF we go this far, we have to go inside."
For the next few weeks I would tell him the same thing, and if he did go to the road we went back inside. I would tell him why we went back inside. We did this OVER and Over, but it finally stuck. Some of his first commands to other kids were "Stay away from the road you'll have to go inside."

For hand holding we would go on "Hand holding walks". This was before I ever introduced the idea of walking holding hands in public. I would tell him that he had to hold my hand, or ride in the Sling. If he didn't hold my hand, EVERY TIME I put him in the sling for the rest of the walk. Over a week or two he was walking holding my hand for the entire walk...which was about block.
These were intentional "learning" sessions for him, set up to help him understand what I was saying, and for his safety.

My DS is four and still cannot help but touch cars, or look at the rocks on someone else's lawn. I still have to remind him we dont' touch property that doesn't belong to us, but that's okay we all forget.

I also wanted to add, that sometimes Kids don't like holding hands, but key rings, and purse straps are fun! DS got to a point where he didn't want to hold hands so I offered other options for him to hold while walking with me, like holding my pinkie, or my purse strap. Still at age four he knows he needs to put his hand on the shopping cart while we are in the parking lot.

I HTH.

Denise


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## Super Glue Mommy (Jan 4, 2009)

my kids have to go inside if they dont stay in the backyard too! I'll redirect them a few times verbally, but if that doesnt work we go inside (because one can get hurt while I am trying to help the other - so this rule works for us)

My kids also have no problem holding hands, if not my hand then as you said a key ring, or the handle of a shopping cart or stroller, etc. usually they like holding my hand though.


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## AliveMama (Mar 20, 2009)

For that age I would just pick him up.

For slightly older I would make a game where you walk too close to the curb and you kid gets to say "Stop!". DD and I walk alot of places doing that. She walks on the inside and tells me when I get too close to the curb. She also points out when we're close to a corner and need to stop. We've been doing this since she was ~18 months. Now that she's older it's only for fun. But when she was younger it was a good way for her to learn from many many examples without her being the one in danger. If she didn't tell me I was too close soon enough I would say "opps, I got too close".


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## NoliMum (Jan 18, 2007)

13 months is YOUNG. He is not going to get it. I think babies that age who do follow the rules just happen to behave the way we want, not because they truly understand the rule and choose to follow.

My 3 year old still has trouble holding hands. Of course, it's because she is in the "Do it myself!!!!" phase. Usually she will agree to hold a doll's hand, while I hold the other doll's hand. Then we have fun swinging it between us. If she will not hold hands in an unsafe place, or tries darting out into the road, I pick her up quickly and harshly (not painfully, but trying to convey the urgency of the situation) and tell her "That's dangerous, a car could hit you!" and carry her to a safe place. Then I say, "You may walk as long as you hold my hand. No going in the road. What did I just say?" And she repeats it back to me.

Usually that will work... for that situation! The next time, we have to do it all over agin.

Remember, this is a 3 year old. Like I said, your baby is way too young. He's just figuring out how to move his legs and exploring everything. He does not understand concepts like the danger of a moving vehicle, the fragility of plants, or the property of others. He probably can't differentiate between the sidewalk and the street (they are both hard and gray, no?)!! He does not even understand that when you say "No!" this time, it is still applicable 5 seconds later!

Go easy on him, keep taking him for walks but keep a firm grip on him.. If he wrenches his hand free, try the "head hold."







My DD will even request that I hold her head instead of her hand! Or use a leash. Whatever will give him freedom to explore and keep him safe.


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## Emmom (Sep 11, 2005)

I'm in the exact situation you are. My 13-month-old DS spends a *lot* of time breaking for the street saying "vroom vroom" and pointing at the cars. My now-4-yr-old DS always wanted to be held at that age, so it's new territory for me, too. What I've been doing that works is, as soon as we get to the street, I swoop him up and stand there and point to the cars with him, saying something like "oh *yeah*, a *car*! Vroom Vroom! Here comes another one!" and get excited with him. Then when it's clear I'll say, "all clear, we can cross" and we'll cross the street to the sidewalk, where I'll put him down again. If he heads for the road, I'll pick him up and place him on the sidewalk, or hold him while we walk, or stand and do some more car-gazing with him, whatever's agreeable to him.

My goal is to not set up any kind of power struggle, because I think power struggles backfire at any age. Honestly, I'm not going to keep my eyes off my kids near the road anyway, so I feel fine about walking without hand-holding and just redirecting to the sidewalk Every Single Time, for probably hundreds of times until the day when he just gets it. On the other hand, we have a nice no-vehicle path a block away we can go to when I need a break from this, so maybe I'm just spoiled.


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## Solose (May 10, 2008)

OP here, just now had some time to post. So from all the posts, I gather it's going to be a while before my ds has the impulse control to walk on the side and not try to go into the street. I will giving ds keys to hold on to instead of my hand, that sounds like a good idea. Other than that, I guess I'll just be avoiding the street and trying to take him to parks where he has a little a more freedom.


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## happy_dad (Mar 23, 2009)

My papa taught me how to ride a bike when I was seven. I sat on the seat, and he put one hand on the handle bar and the other one on that little bar that holds the seat up. He told me to pedal, and I did. My papa jogged along beside me, not letting me tip over too far this way or that - and after a while he took his hand off the handle bar. He told me to pedal faster. I did. I pedaled as fast as my scrawny little Cuban legs could go... and eventually I found myself pumping along by myself scared to death and driving a straight line down the sidewalk. My padre had jumped ship and was standing a few driveways down the road, waving at me.

It's not too different for a little fella walking down the sidewalk. Keep a hand on him, but let him do the walking.


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

He's just too young. IME, they're not really ready to walk on their own holding a hand until around 2yrs.

-Angela


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## happy_dad (Mar 23, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alegna* 
He's just too young. IME, they're not really ready to walk on their own holding a hand until around 2yrs.

-Angela

That is unquestionably a matter of opinion, and your opinion sounds fine to me. I regret having to tend to myself a bit in my very youngest years. It is a joy such mothers devote themselves so fully at times, and at times not - for the better of their kids. Every little step a child takes is their own, and their own only. When that time comes... a mother or father holds them by their hand.


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## Tjej (Jan 22, 2009)

What worked well with my DD, and seems to be working very well with my DS too, is that they hold hands with me or they are carried. They get the idea relatively quickly, and my DS (who is 15 months old now) will try to pull his hand away sometimes, but I will tell him "we need to hold hands now" or "hold Mama's hand now to be safe" and he will then be ok with it and hold hands where we need to for safety.

So my advice is be consistent and decide exactly what you expect/how you plan to do sidewalks and then just do it. As soon as I can trust my DS to walk on the sidewalk and not dart into the street then I will let him walk without holding hands (as I do trust my DD on sidewalks, but not in parking lots yet), but until then, I personally won't let him have that freedom that I think he isn't ready for (and that could be dangerous to him).

Tjej


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## loraxc (Aug 14, 2003)

I used a leash and harness for DD between 12-18 months or so in these situations. If you have an independent young walker, they can be a big help.


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## Tjej (Jan 22, 2009)

I meant to say too - for the leash like loraxc mentioned - I got one of those monkey leash things from Target the other day and it was great when I was on a walk by a river with my DS - he could explore and walk for himself, had more freedom than hand holding, but he couldn't just run off the edge into the river (which I think he might try to do!).

Tjej


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## GuildJenn (Jan 10, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tjej* 
I meant to say too - for the leash like loraxc mentioned - I got one of those monkey leash things from Target the other day and it was great when I was on a walk by a river with my DS - he could explore and walk for himself, had more freedom than hand holding, but he couldn't just run off the edge into the river (which I think he might try to do!).

Tjej

Yup, that's what we did and I thought it was wonderful. Holding your hand above your head is tiring, especially when you are still focused on walking and discovering the world. Also, even if a 13 month old can understand (debatable) I'm not sure they can translate that into self-control.

And frankly, I didn't want to spent all my time correcting. We did plenty of practice, but we also got to enjoy the zoo, etc.

At 3.5 my son stays on the sidewalk, stops when I say stop, and holds my hand when I ask (mostly; he is 3.5!). He understands street lights and cross walks. I don't think he's scarred for life.







The harness just kept him safe until he started to develop some self-control.


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## OkiMom (Nov 21, 2007)

At 13 months DD had already been walking for 5 months and knew if she wanted to walk she stayed by my side. If she didn't stay with me I picked her right up. We lived on a pretty quiet street but I didn't want her getting use to being able to run off because when we went to the store I couldn't have her running around the parking lot. I always carried her across streets and parking lots until she was around 18 months.
When she was around 20 months we moved and she went through a stage where she just wouldn't listen to me at all. She saw the street and made a beeline for it. I had to start over at the beginning. However, since she was older and could understand more I made a game out of it. Theres likes in the sidewalk and we would play stop and go between the lines and then stop when we reached the end before the street. I started to explain that we had to look left and right and left again before crossing and then she had to grab my hand. Shes 26 months now and she is pretty good about it 90% of the time. If she won't listen or starts running into the street I pick her up and she isn't allowed to walk across the street. Its hard (especially with the fact Im also carrying a 4 month old- betweent the two its 50 lbs of baby) but its worth it, I don't want anything to happen to her.


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## jmmom (Sep 11, 2007)

Maybe I'm misremembering, but I don't think 13 months is too young to start teaching something like that. It may take them a while to get it, sure, but I think there's a lot to be said for consistently redirecting AND offering an explanation - simple, just a couple of words, that gets the point across. I think what worked for me was twofold: Yes!! to the sidewalk - NO (grrr) to the street; and also living on a really busy street (I think my toddler gets what it would mean to run into the street). I think it's much harder for kids on quiet streets to understand the rule. Anyway, I wouldn't hesistate to be offering an explanation at that age. I feel like my son understood a lot really quickly at that age (12-18months).

I don't handhold; I wish I had, as my son runs off really quickly these days, and it scares me sometimes. I got separated from my mom in a toy store at age 3 and some lady tried to make off with me.


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## es1967 (Oct 31, 2007)

DS is 2.5 yrs old and just started holding my hand. He still resists at times but if its a busy street I hold on tight. Now he understands more. When he was younger 18 months or so I also purchased one of the monkey leashes and it was awesome for a short period-definitely worth getting. I'd rather have him safe-although some people will think its horrible. My son is so quick its always been a challenge keeping him close. Even still when we go for a walk w our dog I give him a choice-stroller or Ergo. We live on a fairly busy street and he loves to run.


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## karyncake (May 19, 2008)

My daughter is 17 months and has only just started walking holding my hand (for a little while anyway). She started walking at 10 months and from about 12 months I tried letting her walk for a bit but it always ended in a tantrum or her running into other peoples gardens. Luckily for us we live a few minutes from the beach so I let her walk around as much as she wants along the seafront where there is no traffic and gradually am letting her walk down our road while I push the buggy making sure I am never in a hurry as it takes a good twenty minutes while she stops to pick up leaves, watch ants, point to cats and very often still run into other peoples gardens. I am not the most patient person so this is a good lesson for me too.


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## nina_yyc (Nov 5, 2006)

Keep doing what you're doing. I was there too and DD gets it now.


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## MtBikeLover (Jun 30, 2005)

We live on a corner so we have streets on two sides of our house. We have no gates/fences and we are always outside so I felt it was important to teach the kids how to be safe near the street.

We never denied their need or desire to cross the street. Every time they would get close to the street, I would go up and say "Oh, do you want to cross the street?" and if they did, I would teach them the right way to cross. First, get mommy or daddy's hand, then look both ways for cars, and then we can cross if it is safe.

My DD wanted to do this one time in the rain and we did it over and over about 15 times. I just made sure we did it the right way every single time.

We repeated this every time we were outside and they wanted to cross the street.

My kids are now 4 & 6 and we have never had issues of them running in the street.


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