# pierced ears



## skkhebert88 (Nov 3, 2008)

I am a first time mom of a 6 1/2 week old little girl. I am debating on wether to wait until 6 months or later to pierce her ears. I have heard that some do it at 3 months. And others say to wait till they have a coulple of shots. Is 3 months to early??


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## grahamsmom98 (May 15, 2002)

Quote:

I am a first time mom of a 6 1/2 week old little girl. I am debating on wether to wait until 6 months or later to pierce her ears. I have heard that some do it at 3 months. And others say to wait till they have a coulple of shots. Is 3 months to early??
Uh, oh! Watch out, this is one of those red button subjects here (the other is your mentioning of shots, another hot topic around MDC!).

I see this is your first post. Be prepared, there might be a few replies that are a bit hot.

Ear piercing is something I haven't had to deal with other than personal experience. I wasn't allowed to have mine done until I was 16. Mom said she'd take me back and have my nose pierced if I did my ears. This was back when girls just didn't have pierced noses (at least, in Western culture).

My opinion is to ask, first, why do you want to do this? I can't see any good reason to pierce any part of a child's anatomy. They haven't given you permission to do so, nor have they asked for it. Myself, I don't think babies look cute with jewelry.

So, my answer would be to wait until she is old enough to ask for the piercing and old enough to care for them herself.

As to shots, whoa, head over to the Vaccinations Forum for more on that!!

By the way: WELCOME!!


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## jocelyndale (Aug 28, 2006)

Way too early, I'd say. I'd wait until she's old enough to ask. And even then, you'll need to find a reputable piercer who will pierce a young child. Those piercing guns used at the mall aren't very sanitary and punch a ragged tear with a blunt object. Ew.


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## jjawm (Jun 17, 2007)

I would wait. A few reasons for this - when she's older she may not want her ears pierced, and she wouldn't have the choice to have this undone. Also, there's a lot of care involved in it, and infection is a risk. I had my ears pierced at 12, and even with good care, they got infected. I had to get them re-pierced twice, and even now I have problems with them.


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## BunnySlippers (Oct 30, 2007)

Why not wait until she is old enough to give consent to having her body painfully and permanently altered.

Dd just had hers done at 6 ys old. She was so exited to pick out some earrings and have it done. She made me go first though lol. So now I have my ears pierced too!


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## Alyantavid (Sep 10, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BunnySlippers* 
Why not wait until she is old enough to give consent to having her body painfully and permanently altered.









:


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## Nautical (Mar 4, 2008)

BunnySlippers said:


> Why not wait until she is old enough to give consent to having her body painfully and permanently altered.
> 
> QUOTE]
> 
> ...


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## hedgehogs4 (Aug 22, 2008)

I agree - I'd hate to see a LO go thru a painful experience just to look "prettier".


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## weliveintheforest (Sep 3, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hedgehogs4* 
I agree - I'd hate to see a LO go thru a painful experience just to look "prettier".

Me too, although in some cultures/religions it's not just about appearances.

I suppose it depends on your reasons for doing the piercing. If it's just jewelry, wait until she is old enough to consent.


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## kriket (Nov 25, 2007)

hi, welcome to MDC

here comes my soapbox









I don't care when or where in your body you poke a hole. Thats your business. Personally I wouldn't pierce anything until the kid asked to be pierced. *BUT* (heres where the soapbox comes in)

DO NOT PIERCE THINGS IN THE MALL

ever.

Ever never.

Mall place as soo bad, they use guns that basically are ramming a sharpish piece of metal through your flesh, the guns can't be properly sanitized, you shouldn't be piercing with studs with those stupid clamp backs, they are impossible to clean







: the list goes on

If you feel you have to poke holes in yourself, go to a piercing studio. If you think piercing studios are "gross" or "creepy" you're wrong. You think people with piercings and tattoos are gross and creepy. The studios are inspected by the health dpt. the artists have licenses not 5 mins of training like the mall girls.

If you are going to do something do it right.


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## frontierpsych (Jun 11, 2006)

Infections

* Bacterial infections such as staphylococcus can occur as a contaminant. This is more common in those with Atopic eczema. Patients with heart valves need to be careful not to introduce bacterial infection into the blood stream and potentially infect the heart.
* When the cartilage is pierced a specific bacterial infection with a bacteria called Pseudomonas can occur.
* There is a risk if transmitting viral hepatitis from patient to patient through the instruments.
* Read more about bacterial infections.
I don't believe in piercing infants' ears. It is painful and unnecessary, and can have complicatios.

Here are a few examples:

*Inflammation*

* The piercing through the cartilage can be associated with inflammation in the cartilage

*Hematoma*

* Blood clots can form because of local internal bleeding in the ear

*Foreign Body Reactions*

* Granulomas and foreign body reactions can occur to the gold in the rings or if small pieces of metal are left in the skin

*Keloid Scarring*

* This is common especially in darker skin.
* These are smooth, firm growing, unsightly scars that grow beyond the site of injury. They can be difficult to treat.
* Excising them usually leads to even bigger scars. These scars can be painful.
* Most often they are at their biggest behind the ear lobe.

*Allergic Reactions*

* By far the most common allergy in women is to the metal nickel. Gold is a much less common allergen. It s also possible to become allergic to the topical cleansers, antibiotics, and antiseptics that are used to prepare for the procedure. Check-out www.EczemaGuide.ca for more information.

*Other Considerations*

* Heavy rings will pull down and tear the ear lobe giving a split lobe. These need surgical repair if the person wants it fixed.


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## JennTheMomma (Jun 19, 2008)

I personally wouldn't pierce someone's ears until they asked for it. Most places peirce baby's ears with a gun, that should never be used. A hollow sterile needle should be. Also, the child should take care of her ear herself. Its also painful, even as an adult.


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## angie7 (Apr 23, 2007)

It's her body, her choice. You should wait until she is old enough to ask for it before you permantely do something to her body that she may not want later on.


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## skkhebert88 (Nov 3, 2008)

wow i have to say i wasn't expecting to get all the same reply. i wasn't reall expecting that answer at all. to wait until she asks. well something new 2 consider! thanks


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## mytwogirls (Jan 3, 2008)

Wait, wait and wait! Let her come to you and ask. I have two girls and there is no way I would have ever even considered this. To me if they want their ears pierced they can ask and we can make it a special day, just for her, and that will be quite a while as they are only 1 and 2 years old.


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## Eliza_Douchehammer (Oct 22, 2008)

I waited until my daughters were old enough to ask, but I think a lot of posters here would still say they were too young. They were 3 and 18 months when they asked. The older wanted hers done and of course her little sister has to do everything she does. We never had any problems during the healing process and apparently the actual piercing wasn't too painful because neither cried and they both said it didn't hurt. My son also has one ear pierced. He was 6 when he asked for it.


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## onlyzombiecat (Aug 15, 2004)

We decided to wait until dd was older- 8 years- and let her decide if she wanted it done.
We didn't base it on when she asked. She asked about it when she was 5 or 6 years old. We offered non-pierced earring alternatives.
I chose age 8 because it is the time when a girl moves toward puberty. I felt it was an appropriate time for dd.
If she did want it done at that age I had planned that I would get mine done again at the same time to share the experience.
She's 8 now and decided against it. It's her body, her choice.


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## Cinder (Feb 4, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Eliza_Douchehammer* 
I waited until my daughters were old enough to ask, but I think a lot of posters here would still say they were too young. They were 3 and 18 months when they asked. The older wanted hers done and of course her little sister has to do everything she does. We never had any problems during the healing process and apparently the actual piercing wasn't too painful because neither cried and they both said it didn't hurt. My son also has one ear pierced. He was 6 when he asked for it.


My dd was 18 months when she asked, I made her keep asking (multiple times a day, every day) for a year before I gave in... I still have no idea why it was (still is, she LOVES her ear rings, she is 6 now) such a big deal for her, I NEVER wear ear rings, and neither do any of the women she really sees on a regular basis.


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## Eliza_Douchehammer (Oct 22, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cinder* 
My dd was 18 months when she asked, I made her keep asking (multiple times a day, every day) for a year before I gave in... I still have no idea why it was (still is, she LOVES her ear rings, she is 6 now) such a big deal for her, I NEVER wear ear rings, and neither do any of the women she really sees on a regular basis.

We made DD1 keep asking for several months before allowing her to have it done, but after seeing how well she reacted we let DD2 get hers done after only a month of asking. I have 2g plugs in my earlobes but I never change them or anything so I don't really understand their fascination with having pierced ears.


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## Hera (Feb 4, 2002)

A good piercing shop, the kind of place where you'd trust the piercers to do a good job on such a permanent modification to your child's body, will not pierce a child who cannot ask for it themselves.

It was a amazing bonding experience to take my 8yo daughter to get her ears pierced. She felt like such a grown-up young woman to have her earrings, and they healed nicely. When she sleeps on them "funny" she knows exactly why it hurts, and why it will be OK.


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## lajn (Jun 10, 2007)

I had always thought that I would wait until my daughter was twelve to have her ears pierced, but she started asking to have them done when she was six. I told her that it hurt (she's not good with pain) and could get infected, but that if she still wanted it, she could have it done for her seventh birthday. She did.

It hurt, one ear got infected... it wasn't fun to deal with.

I wish we had waited.


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## kamilla626 (Mar 18, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *skkhebert88* 
wow i have to say i wasn't expecting to get all the same reply. i wasn't reall expecting that answer at all. to wait until she asks. well something new 2 consider! thanks

Please wait. I have known adults who were angry that they were pierced as infants, because they would never have chosen to be pierced if they were given the option.


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## mytwogirls (Jan 3, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kamilla626* 
Please wait. I have known adults who were angry that they were pierced as infants, because they would never have chosen to be pierced if they were given the option.

I would be one of them! Mine were done before I was 2 and I have had multiple infections and just overall problems like it is very difficult to get earrings in my ear (I don't attribute that to having it done early in life) plus I never got the option of saying yes or no. I don't wear earrings, EVER, and I don't think they look on my ears. I try to hide my ears anyway because they are REALLY tiny.


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## Teenytoona (Jun 13, 2005)

I think it's far better to wait until a. she can ask for them and b. she can care for them daily by herself. The only reason most people want earrings on a baby, IME, is so you know she's a girl. Which is silly, at baby stage, the baby won't get offended if you misinterpret her/his sex.

Personally, if my daughter wants hers pierced I'm going to wait and do it as a coming of age sort of thing. Maybe when she gets her first period. Something special if she wants to do it.

I got mine done when I was 11, but I haven't worn earrings in years.


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## ZuZu's Mom (Dec 12, 2007)

We got my DD's ears pierced when she was 6 months old . . . at the mall. No problems with infection, inflammation, etc. Never had a problem with her trying to tug on them, take them out, etc.

This will be my only post regarding this topic. So if someone wants to debate me or flame me- I'm not interested.









Thanks!


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## SandraS (Jan 18, 2007)

I did it, I love it, I'm not embarassed. I had both girls done at 8 weeks. Easy, painless, forgotten. Easy to clean this early, the girls grew up with them "being a part of them", and never mess with them.

As far as rituals, I can't remember getting my ears pierced, it's not a moment in my past I look back on, I do not think it's anything my girls would either.

I highly recommend it. Good luck!


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## kamilla626 (Mar 18, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SandraS* 
Easy, painless, forgotten.

For them, or for you?


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## SandraS (Jan 18, 2007)

For both! That's what rocks!!! Not to mention how adorable they are! They will love them in 10 years, 20 years, and 30 years, just like I did and do.


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## mama_b (Dec 14, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kamilla626* 
Please wait. I have known adults who were angry that they were pierced as infants, because they would never have chosen to be pierced if they were given the option.

Yep. I was made to get mine pierced when I was 5. My body totally rejects piercings. The holes in my ears still ooze pus and they've been pierced for 22 years. Please wait.


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## kamilla626 (Mar 18, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SandraS* 
For both! That's what rocks!!! Not to mention how adorable they are! They will love them in 10 years, 20 years, and 30 years, just like I did and do.

There are many adults who are angry that their bodies were modified without their consent. You can't know for sure that your daughters will love them as adults. Although, I hope for their sake that they do.


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## mama_b (Dec 14, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SandraS* 
For both! That's what rocks!!! Not to mention how adorable they are! They will love them in 10 years, 20 years, and 30 years, just like I did and do.

I'm not flaming you, but you don't know that. You just don't.


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## CheapPearls (Aug 7, 2007)

I would wait. And like others have said, go to a professional piercer.

My mom had my ears pierced when I was 5 months. While I love earrings, I still would have preferred the choice. Each other time I got pierced (2nd and 3rd holes, cartilage, navel, industrial) as well when I decided to stretch the holes has been a mark of time for me. Each was a special event but I can't remember my first experience with a mall piercing gun (ACK!) and I honestly shutter at the thought anyway. It somewhat taints my love for piercings.

Not saying that your daughter will feel the same but who's to say she won't? Let her have the choice.


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## weliveintheforest (Sep 3, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SandraS* 
They will love them in 10 years, 20 years, and 30 years, just like I did and do.

How could you possibly know that?

i hope they do, but I still maintain that it is not our right to choose for our children. Luckily earring holes are small and not very noticeable if they choose not to wear earrings I suppose.


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## Phoenix~Mama (Dec 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SandraS* 
For both! That's what rocks!!! Not to mention how adorable they are! They will love them in 10 years, 20 years, and 30 years, just like I did and do.

I agree with PP's... there is no way you could possibly know that...

And just because she is your daughter... DOES NOT MEAN SHE IS YOU AND SHARES ALL THE SAME LIKES!

SHE IS HER OWN INDIVIDUAL!!!

Baby or small children ear piercing hits a nerve big time with me. I personally feel earrings do not look right on small children or babies. I do wish some parents would keep more of an open mind before making decisions for their children just to decorate them.

My DSD's Mom pierced her ears when she was a baby and was so sad that she ripped them out. She couldn't wait to get them done again... She took her on her 4th birthday, WITHOUT even consulting my DH, by the way...

And so I had the ultimate joy of cleaning a screaming 4 y/o's ears on the days we had her so they wouldn't get infected... this was HORRIBLE! Not to mention the pain of hearing DSD cry out in pain, but to have to involuntarily be a part of something I am SOOO against.

No ear piercing for our own DC until they ask for it AND are old enough to clean them themselves.

*gets off soapbox*


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## klosmom (Nov 19, 2007)

I always put stick on earrings on my daughter. She liked them and they looked cute. She still dosen't want her ears pierced at 10.


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## Eliza_Douchehammer (Oct 22, 2008)

I wish people would keep an open mind about why some infants and children may have pierced ears


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## Alyantavid (Sep 10, 2004)

Quote:

For both! That's what rocks!!! Not to mention how adorable they are! They will love them in 10 years, 20 years, and 30 years, just like I did and do.
I hope for your sake that you're right. Its impossible to know that piercing an infant's ears in painless. People assume that if it hurt, babies would cry. There's tons of parents who think the circ they had done on their son didn't hurt because he didn't cry either. Its absolutely untrue.

I don't think earrings on an infant are cute personally and I would never modify my child's body without their informed consent.


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## 2lilsweetfoxes (Apr 11, 2005)

My daughter is 7. As girly and "princessy" as she is, she still has not asked about getting her ears pierced. I rarely wear my earrings because I'm in the Army and they are not allowed in uniform, and I just don't put them in to lay around after work. I will put them in if we are going out or something and I remember to get them in before we leave (and can find a matching set). But I don't think it has crossed her mind. She can get it done when she has been asking for it for a few months (so I know it is not a spur of the moment, will regret tomorrow) and shows that she can take care of it herself. Then I will find a piercing shoppe (not in the mall) and take her to get it done. Correctly. Right now, we have to prompt her to remember to brush her teeth, so...

Rules for pierced ears in my house:
1. Owner of ears responsible for the care of the ears
2. Ask before borrowing someones earrings. Clean before returning.
3. Little studs are fine, but, please! what's the fun of having earrings if you can't wear snake fangs once in a while?!?

ETA: Rule #4: It is up to the owner of the pierced ears whether or not he/she wants to wear earrings that day. (unless for some reason he/she cannot)


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## mytwogirls (Jan 3, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mama_b* 
Yep. I was made to get mine pierced when I was 5. My body totally rejects piercings. The holes in my ears still ooze pus and they've been pierced for 22 years. Please wait.

This is my problem. My mom LOVES earrings and thinks they "rock" but do I ? No. Why? Because I am my own individual who happens to NOT like earrings AND my body has problems accepting the jewelry, hence the multiple infections and trouble with them.


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## fancyoats (Jun 12, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ZuZu's Mom* 
We got my DD's ears pierced when she was 6 months old . . . at the mall. No problems with infection, inflammation, etc. Never had a problem with her trying to tug on them, take them out, etc.

This will be my only post regarding this topic. So if someone wants to debate me or flame me- I'm not interested.









Thanks!

i suspect there are lots of stories out there closer to this than the "pus-oozing" "blunt object through a jagged hole" kind of horror stories that get dragged up around here.

we got our dd's ears pierced about 3 weeks ago.......drum roll.....at the mall. we clean them religiously, she doesn't mess with them, they are completely healed -- no redness or swelling or anything like that. if she decides to not wear earrings when she gets older, she can take them out. no biggie.

in fact when my best friend heard that we got dd's ears done she told me about how she was always jealous of the girls who had gotten it done as babies, b/c theirs were completely healed already and never got infected, whereas the girls who were just getting it done in 2nd or 3rd grade couldn't stop messing with the earrings and were constantly getting infections.


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## kamilla626 (Mar 18, 2004)

It's not so much the potential for medical complications that bothers me; it's the idea that the child hasn't consented to having their body modified, and wouldn't necessarily choose to be pierced if they had a say.


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## Phoenix~Mama (Dec 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *fancyoats* 
i suspect there are lots of stories out there closer to this than the "pus-oozing" "blunt object through a jagged hole" kind of horror stories that get dragged up around here.

we got our dd's ears pierced about 3 weeks ago.......drum roll.....at the mall. we clean them religiously, she doesn't mess with them, they are completely healed -- no redness or swelling or anything like that. if she decides to not wear earrings when she gets older, she can take them out. no biggie.

in fact when my best friend heard that we got dd's ears done she told me about how she was always jealous of the girls who had gotten it done as babies, b/c theirs were completely healed already and never got infected, whereas the girls who were just getting it done in 2nd or 3rd grade couldn't stop messing with the earrings and were constantly getting infections.


I woudn't say all small children are free from infections... DSD has already had an infection because she is constantly picking her nose then playing with her ears.

DC should show a maturity to handle the responsibility for taking care of themselves and a piercing that could cause infection.


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## Starflower (Sep 25, 2004)

We have not pierced DD's ears. She is five now and I would let her if she wanted to, but she is not interested.

I got mine done when I was 8 years old. It was my choice - I had to beg my mom for weeks after my cousin got hers done. (Mom's rule was that we had to wait until we were 12.) They let me do it though. I never had any problems with them until a couple years ago after I worked at a lab that made retainers and I bent nickel-containing wires all day long for a year. Now anytime I wear earrings, my ears feel "itchy" in the holes.

I'm not upset I chose to pierce my ears at an early age (I was the only girl in my 2nd grade class - it wasn't that common back then). But I am upset I chose to work at that job for so long and not just because of the nickel.....but that's another story.


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## jjawm (Jun 17, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kamilla626* 
It's not so much the potential for medical complications that bothers me; it's the idea that the child hasn't consented to having their body modified, and wouldn't necessarily choose to be pierced if they had a say.









:


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## diamond lil (Oct 6, 2003)

This issue has already come up in my family. DD is 2 months old. MIL and SIL have asked when I am going to have her ears pierced. Since I am aware that all my SIL's have had their infant daughters' ears pierced, I chose my words carefully and just said, "When she's old enough to ask."

They still flipped out and thought I was looking down on them for piercing their baby girls' ears. It's not that I was looking down on them; I would just rather wait until DD is old enough to want to have them done.

Plus, I can't imagine doing anything to my precious babe that would cause her even the slightest bit of pain.


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## babygrant (Mar 10, 2005)

Not my body not my choice. I think it's wrong to modify a childs body for looks. Simple as that.


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## Contrariety (Jul 16, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SandraS* 
I did it, I love it, I'm not embarassed. I had both girls done at 8 weeks. *Easy, painless, forgotten.* Easy to clean this early, the girls grew up with them "being a part of them", and never mess with them.

As far as rituals, I can't remember getting my ears pierced, it's not a moment in my past I look back on, I do not think it's anything my girls would either.

I highly recommend it. Good luck!

Bolding mine.

How many have the same thing to say about RIC? It's the exact same thing, I don't care who you are or where you are coming from.

Not my body, not my choice to permanently modify without a well founded medical reason.


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## ~savah~ (Aug 24, 2008)

My sister had my nieces done at six months and because her ears weren't done growing they are completely uneven. One hole is on the bottom of the lobe. She's fourteen and wishes her mother would have waited.


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## karemore (Oct 7, 2008)

I wouldn't say when they are old enough to ask.

My daughter has been asking since she turned three, maybe a little earlier. There's no way I'm piercing a 3 year old's ears.

My answer right now is that she can do it when she's 8. I just picked that age out of a hat. I want her to understand what she's doing and be able to take care of her own ears. That's when she can get them done. It may be 6 it may be 10 depends on how she matures.

I'm SO glad to hear that I am not alone on this issue! Another reason to love this group.


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## babygrant (Mar 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Contrariety* 

How many have the same thing to say about RIC? It's the exact same thing, I don't care who you are or where you are coming from.


Exactly! How many times do we hear "I would rather do it now when they won't remember it".







Such a sad world we live in.


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## mama_mojo (Jun 5, 2005)

I would wait.

I wanted to do DD1's ears when she was a baby, and DH flipped out. Now, I'm REALLY glad. Not because of any noble, self choice reason (which I think are completely valid), and not because of health reasons.

Now that DD1 is almost 7, she REALLY REALLY wants earrings. She has asked for over a year, and I have been quietly working on my DH, who wanted her to wait until she was 12. He has agreed that we can do it for her 7th birthday. I am SO excited, because it will be a very special thing for the two of us, all by ourselves, to go do. It will be a very big deal that she will probably remember. Personally, I am assuming I will need to do alot of the initial care.

My own mother is dead, but a memory that has been quite vivid for me in all our familial earring debates is how I got my ears pierced when I was 6. It was a surprise birthday present. I remember my mom standing beside me, looking cheerfully worried. (As a mom, I now know she was helping me be brave.) It was a big deal. I am glad DH put his foot down, and DD will be old enough to remember.


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## Alison's Mom (May 3, 2007)

I read the first few replies, but not the 2nd page, so apologies if this has already been mentioned.

My DD had some eczema and pulled and pulled at her itchy ears a lot at around 9 months to 1 year. I had not even thought about piercing her ears (figured she can get them done if she wants at age 10 or 12 or so), but I saw another baby with her ears done and I just shuddered to think what my DD's ears would have looked like if I had done them at 6 months. . .


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## becoming (Apr 11, 2003)

I would never inflict pain upon a small child or alter a small child's body against his/her will for purely cosmetic purposes.


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## TEAK's Mom (Apr 25, 2003)

Her body, her choice. This is not a life or death issue; its cosmetic. I'd wait until she was old enough to want a piercing and responsible enough to care for it.


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## vegmamadeb (Oct 30, 2008)

Wow, I must be horrible. My DD had hers done at 3 months. I don't see an issue with it, she never touches them. Shes half Cuban and for my husbands side of the family, it was a big deal.. But, shes alive, healthy, fine.. And I'm not regretting it.


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## mrspineau (Jan 15, 2008)

I don't think you are horrible to pierce your daughters ears as a baby. I couldnt do it myself, mainly because I have done piercing, both gun and needle, the gun is totally yucky, but if you are going to do a baby's ears, using a needle would be very difficult as with a gun you can do both sides at the same time if two people are doing it. I don't know, I just don't think it is worth the effort and pain to go through with it. to each their own.


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## Sour-Jane (Oct 9, 2007)

My partner is a professional body piercer, he's been in the industry for about 17 years now and has put his foot down that our daughter will not be getting her ears or anything pierced until she is old enough to sign for herself which is 16, and it will be him or somebody that he recommends to do it.

Modifying the body of a minor without their consent is wrong. (religious/cultural views aside)

Piercing guns are extremely dangerous because it is a blunt object being rammed through your flesh. They cannot be properly sterilized, they would melt if ever put into an autoclave.

People who pierce with guns have not been properly trained, often times the holes are uneven. Most importantly, they have no clue about cross contamination and blood born patheogens. Hepatitis can live on a dry surface for AT LEAST 15 days, TB can live on a dry surface for AT LEAST 45 days.

Ok, I'm off my soapbox..

My mother took me to get my ears pierced when I was 5-ish, I remember it hurt and I didn't want the second one pierced, but the woman tricked me and quickly did the second one. I had infection after infection because of those butterfly backs they use because they can't be cleaned properly. At 12 I got a second set of holes pierced, the woman who pierced them was an old lady who is a hair dresser at the flea market... She "sterilized" her piercing gun with Windex, because "Windex kills bacteria and disease," but gave me a blank look when I asked her if Windex really does kill disease, then why don't they just inject people who are HIV positive with Windex, and then there wont be anymore HIV and AIDs. She put on a pair of gloves, then moved her hair out of her face and remembered that the cash register was open, so closed the drawer and pierced me before I could say I changed my mind. I regret not waiting until I was a bit older and able to go to a tattoo shop to get pierced properly by a professional.

Sorry for the novel.


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## LittleBlessings (May 26, 2008)

I have 2 girls and both of them have there ears pirced. They both got their done when they were turned 6 months old. We had No problems with it and my childern both forgot about the pain 2 seconds after it was done. We did choose to wait until after the first set of shots.


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## LittleBlessings (May 26, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *vegmamadeb* 
Wow, I must be horrible. My DD had hers done at 3 months. I don't see an issue with it, she never touches them. Shes half Cuban and for my husbands side of the family, it was a big deal.. But, shes alive, healthy, fine.. And I'm not regretting it.









:

I don't regret it as well and do not have an issue with it


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## 2cutiekitties (Dec 3, 2006)

I remember it being a HUGE deal for me. I was allowed when I was 10 and it was a big production. We went to the department store (1982) and I got to pick out the earrings and it was such a responsibility. It was a passage...I was leaving behind 9, finally double digits (10).

I still remember it like it was yesterday, it was so important for me. I would never rob my child of that. All of my friends had theirs done when they were a baby and none of them had that great experience. In fact, they all took theirs for granted, were very unappreciative of them. I was in awe of my earrings for years!

eta....man if the next one is a girl, we are going to the tatoo parlor!!!! windex????


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## claddaghmom (May 30, 2008)

I'm on the fence w/ this issue, too, due to culture on my side of the family.

I actually used to work at the little "mall shop" and I've pierced hundreds of baby ears. I have seen and heard plenty of horror stories and it is quite







to train a teen girl for 5 minutes before piercing someone. That being said, I know the chain I worked for required training at each level of piercing (aka 20 piercings, 70 piercings, etc) before the associate could pierce anyone under 3.

IMO, for the average person who has a babe in the hospital, gets an epi, lets the kid get eye drops, hep b, pku, etc and then takes the babe in for routine vax.....earrings probably seem like a tiny deal.

I got mine at age 2.5 b/c my parents were divided on the issue. Dad wanted it at birth, mom wanted it at 16/18yrs.









I think I'll be holding off until she is old enough to make it special and really want it. I doubt until the teen years, but definitely past the toddler years.

Also, for anyone considering piercings on children, please only get 14K or above 16g piercings......not plated or sprayed! This is almost always the real issue with infected ears. I can't wear anything but 14K gold myself. Putting anything less into a baby/small child is asking for problems.


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## Hesperia (Sep 3, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *claddaghmom* 

Also, for anyone considering piercings on children, please only get 14K or above 16g piercings......not plated or sprayed! This is almost always the real issue with infected ears. I can't wear anything but 14K gold myself. Putting anything less into a baby/small child is asking for problems.

*Surgical stainless steel* - gold is too soft a metal to be piercing with. You want something inert to the body, something that can live inside the body without causing a reaction, because it IS inside the body, in a cavity or not.

I have very strong views on piercing babies/children without consent. It is abuse. I would never harm a child and permanently change their bodies to please the eyes of someone else.


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## babygrant (Mar 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *vegmamadeb* 
Shes half Cuban and for my husbands side of the family, it was a big deal.. But, shes alive, healthy, fine.. And I'm not regretting it.

Same thing you hear from people who circumcise their boys.







:


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## Logan's mommy (Jan 19, 2007)

I didn't get mine done until I was 6, mom waited until I asked for them. However, I wasn't old enough to take care of them, and I wouldn't let mom take care of them either. I ended up taking them out, only to have them done again a few years later ( at my request), with them same result. I finally got them done on my 21st b-day, they are healed just fine (along with my 6 other piercings







) If I had a daughter I would wait until she were old enough to take care of them herself... 12 or 14ish?


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## mytwogirls (Jan 3, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *babygrant* 
Same thing you hear from people who circumcise their boys.







:

Yep and it







: me too. I think of it similar to circumcising an infant boy, same thing in my opinion. They don't have a say in it, none at all.


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## paquerette (Oct 16, 2004)

What on earth is supposed to be the rationale for waiting until after the first round of shots? Is this the usual "as soon as their shots are begun they're magically protected against every possible disease" belief?


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## vegmamadeb (Oct 30, 2008)

Windex?! Did that person get their ideas from "My Big Fat Greek Wedding"??


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## vegmamadeb (Oct 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mytwogirls* 
Yep and it







: me too. I think of it similar to circumcising an infant boy, same thing in my opinion. They don't have a say in it, none at all.

I don't see how ear piercings and circumcising are exactly in the same league, but I understand where you're coming from.


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## MOMYS (Nov 5, 2008)

I don't have any daughters, but my immediate reaction is to wait until the child asks!


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## cottonwood (Nov 20, 2001)

I just do not understand why a person would want to cause a baby pain and possibly long-term discomfort for cosmetic reasons. That's just so selfish. If anyone had thought it a good idea to permanently alter my body in any way just for their own satisfaction while I was defenseless and could not give consent I would be _PISSED._

I saw a series from a baby's piercing on Flickr and was absolutely disgusted. That baby was _hysterical_. And the mom was laughing.









The infection issue is not trivial. I've dealt with ear and skin infections my whole life. I got my ears pierced when I was 14 and have never been able to wear earrings of any kind without discomfort. I suffered for a while for the sake of fashion







but that was by my _choice_. I haven't worn earrings now for many years and those damn holes still occasionally get itchy and infected.

Also -- the ear grows and those holes are not necessarily going to grow to be centered. As someone who cares about aesthetic balance, it would bother me greatly if my holes weren't centered.


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## Smalls181 (May 12, 2006)

I did DD's when she was 2 months, and although she did really well with it, and hardly complained, I would never do that again. Like Im sure others have said, that should have been her choice, not mine. It really all boils down to the fact that I did not, at the time, respect her as an individual, as her own person. I wish I could take it back, but I can't. Please, reconsider.


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## Eliza_Douchehammer (Oct 22, 2008)

Quote:

Yep and it me too. I think of it similar to circumcising an infant boy, same thing in my opinion.
Ear piercing and RIC are not even in the same ballpark. To compare them is nothing but ignorant. No wonder people think those of us who are against RIC are crazy when some of us make statements like that.


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## captain crunchy (Mar 29, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Eliza_Douchehammer* 
Ear piercing and RIC are not even in the same ballpark. To compare them is nothing but ignorant. No wonder people think those of us who are against RIC are crazy when some of us make statements like that.


They are similar. Both practices are altering the bodyscape of a defenseless infant without their consent and without medical reason. Both are unnecessary cosmetic procedures done for the sake of vanity, culture, or with the intent of "improving" someone's attractiveness/appeal/acceptance. Both are (imo) selfish acts perpetuated by people who do not stop to consider that their infant actually feels pain and may actually be scarred (physically or even emotionally) by their action. Both acts are done while forcibly holding down a child and deliberately causing them pain, then both justified by the fact that the child "won't remember" and that it "only hurt for a moment".

Very similar imo.


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## fancyoats (Jun 12, 2008)

see, the "her body, her choice" argument makes sense on a philosophical abstract kinda level, but on the other hand, don't we all make choices for our children every day? what foods we offer them to eat, what toys are available to play with, what clothing is purchased for them to wear, whether and what kind of medical care they get, homeschooling, etc. our children might choose something different if given the opportunity, they might not.

in making the ear piercing decision for my daughter, i weighed the likelihood of her wanting earrings (high) against the likelihood of her hating me forever for getting it done (low) i chose to get it done for her earlier rather than later, because now i CAN take full responsibility for the care and cleaning of them, thereby considerably lessening the chances of her developing issues with them.

every choice we make as parents affects our children. i get that. but when other mothers choose differently than i would have, i try to believe that they are doing their best, that they love and care for their children just as much as i do for my daughter. two people can look at the same information/data and still come to completely different conclusions. so i think it behooves us all to take a step back, breathe a deep breath, and maybe not judge quite so harshly.


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## Eliza_Douchehammer (Oct 22, 2008)

Quote:

They are similar. Both practices are altering the bodyscape of a defenseless infant without their consent and without medical reason.
No, not even close. Ear piercing is putting a tiny hole in the earlobe that can close up in the future. Circumcision is removing a body part that protects the head of the penis and can interfere with sexual pleasure. That little hole in the earlobe isn't really going to hurt anything but the lack of a foreskin might. There is no comparison.


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## Swan3 (Aug 5, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kriket* 
DO NOT PIERCE THINGS IN THE MALL

Mall place as soo bad, they use guns that basically are ramming a sharpish piece of metal through your flesh, the guns can't be properly sanitized, you shouldn't be piercing with studs with those stupid clamp backs, they are impossible to clean







: the list goes on

If you feel you have to poke holes in yourself, go to a piercing studio. If you think piercing studios are "gross" or "creepy" you're wrong. You think people with piercings and tattoos are gross and creepy. The studios are inspected by the health dpt. the artists have licenses not 5 mins of training like the mall girls.

If you are going to do something do it right.

As someone who used to pierce ears in the mall...I have to AGREE with you. I was 20, had no clue what I was doing and NEVER cleaned anything properly because I was never shown how or told I had to. I cringe at that now.


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## seawind (Sep 28, 2007)

In the grand scheme of things, ear-piercing is the least important issue to make a fuss about. There is much, much worse being perpetrated on children in the world today. If you must find something to be hot and bothered about, spend that energy on the real issues.

Comparing circ and ear-piercing is like comparing apples to oranges.


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## claddaghmom (May 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hesperia* 
*Surgical stainless steel* - gold is too soft a metal to be piercing with. You want something inert to the body, something that can live inside the body without causing a reaction, because it IS inside the body, in a cavity or not.

I have very strong views on piercing babies/children without consent. It is abuse. I would never harm a child and permanently change their bodies to please the eyes of someone else.

It's just my experience.... but the only thing I don't react to is regular 14k yellow gold. SSS has put knots in my upper cartilage, preventing me from re-piercing.

I am *not* tossing out medical advice here....just saying that if a mom were taking this issue casually and going to the mall for an average piercing, by all means, at least make sure to spend the $$ and get some real gold, not the plated cheapo stuff.


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## Swan3 (Aug 5, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *skkhebert88* 
wow i have to say i wasn't expecting to get all the same reply. i wasn't reall expecting that answer at all. to wait until she asks. well something new 2 consider! thanks

I'm waiting until she can ask as well, and knowing her she'll ask early so I'll wait until she's at least 5!!! The way I see it, is if it's important to her and you prepare her for what it is she wants to do it can be part of a "coming of age" for her as well...something she'll remember.

I was 5 when mine were done, and I remember it being very painful! Still, it was my choice and I was really happy with how it looked.


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## 1littlebit (Jun 1, 2008)

oh how i <3 MDC lol. and welcome OP!!! please don't be scared off this just happens to be a hot issue around here.. and the first thread i have seen open on the subject since i joined!!!

and Captain Crunchy it seems that i agree with you no matter what forum we are in!!

unnecessarily altering your child for any (but esp. cosmetic) reason is selfish. she does not want it. it is for you. it is not your body it is not your choice to make. wait until she asks.

for those of you who say it is not the same as circ... no of course its not. would you be ok if someone wanted to pierce their child anywhere but the ears? nose? eyebrows? its either ok to alter your childs body for cosmetic reasons or its not. yes circ is horrendous .. much more so then this.. but why walk the fine line? i prefer to stay way over on the safe side of not my body not my choice. there is no reason not to wait... so i would wait.

oo OP if you can't tell we aren't real big on circ around here either the case against circ forum will fill you in if your wondering what all the fuss is about.

just thought i would mention that incase she thinks we are all crazy.


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## Alyantavid (Sep 10, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Eliza_Douchehammer* 
Ear piercing and RIC are not even in the same ballpark. To compare them is nothing but ignorant. No wonder people think those of us who are against RIC are crazy when some of us make statements like that.

Yeah it is similar. I don't choose to alter my children's bodies without their consent. I don't even cut hair without them asking for it.

Quote:

No, not even close. Ear piercing is putting a tiny hole in the earlobe that can close up in the future. Circumcision is removing a body part that protects the head of the penis and can interfere with sexual pleasure. That little hole in the earlobe isn't really going to hurt anything but the lack of a foreskin might. There is no comparison.
Well kind of. I'm sure there are tons of stories of women who's ears have holes permanently in them (like me) who've had multiple issues with infections and seriously wish they hadn't had their ears pierced.

It isn't about that tiny little hole that probably won't hurt anything. Its about putting your child through unnecessary pain for your benefit. Comparing ear piercing to circ is much closer than comparing it to deciding what to feed your child.


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## seawind (Sep 28, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Alyantavid* 
Comparing ear piercing to circ is much closer than comparing it to deciding what to feed your child.

How so?


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## babygrant (Mar 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Eliza_Douchehammer* 
Ear piercing and RIC are not even in the same ballpark. To compare them is nothing but ignorant. No wonder people think those of us who are against RIC are crazy when some of us make statements like that.

They are in the same ball park. Both are done for cosmetic reasons, have absolutely NO health benefit and cause unnecessary pain to the child.








:


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## babygrant (Mar 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *seawind* 
In the grand scheme of things, ear-piercing is the least important issue to make a fuss about. There is much, much worse being perpetrated on children in the world today. If you must find something to be hot and bothered about, spend that energy on the real issues.

Comparing circ and ear-piercing is like comparing apples to oranges.

This could go for anything. "Oh who care about the little boys in north america who are getting circ'd, there are baby GIRLS in Africag getting circ'd in unsterile environment.

Most of us feel strongly about not altering a body that is not ours to alter. I'm not going to keep my mouth shut when it comes to an issue that I feel strongly about. I will offer my opinion when asked. Just because YOU don't think it's a "least important issue to make a fuss about" doesn't mean we all should.


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## JamesMama (Jun 1, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ZuZu's Mom* 
We got my DD's ears pierced when she was 6 months old . . . at the mall. No problems with infection, inflammation, etc. Never had a problem with her trying to tug on them, take them out, etc.

This will be my only post regarding this topic. So if someone wants to debate me or flame me- I'm not interested.









Thanks!

That. Except my DD was 4 months old.

Not one single issue in the whole 8 months we've had them.

We got them done **shock of shocks** at the mall, a little 5 y/o girl got them done ahead of DD and she SOBBED for 15 minutes. Honest to god. DD? She cried for MAYBE 45 seconds. Honestly. 45 seconds, TOPS. She cried longer and harder a week prior to that when DS accidently dropped a hotwheels car on her head.

I'm not ashamed of getting them done, I love them....and I hope that DD will love them in the future. If not, she can take them out. *shrug*


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## captain crunchy (Mar 29, 2005)

Body altering without someone's free choice for vanity sake aside









It just never ceases to confuse me why a little tiny infant girl (or boy or whatever) isn't "cute" enough on their own without holes in their ears and earrings poked through them.

Honestly, what is the point????

I dunno, I have a real problem with "they only cried for ___" sentiments. What could be worth making a child cry for the sake of their cuteness or whatever when not a medical necessity or whatever? I am just not cool with inflicting pain for vanity's sake so we will have to agree to disagree I guess.


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## babygrant (Mar 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *captain crunchy* 
It just never ceases to confuse me why a little tiny infant girl (or boy or whatever) isn't "cute" enough on their own without holes in their ears and earrings poked through them.

Honestly, what is the point????

I dunno, I have a real problem with "they only cried for ___" sentiments. What could be worth making a child cry for the sake of their cuteness or whatever when not a medical necessity or whatever? I am just not cool with inflicting pain for vanity's sake so we will have to agree to disagree I guess.
















Nothing else to add.


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## AmandaTN (Aug 2, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *captain crunchy* 
Body altering without someone's free choice for vanity sake aside









It just never ceases to confuse me why a little tiny infant girl (or boy or whatever) isn't "cute" enough on their own without holes in their ears and earrings poked through them.

Honestly, what is the point????









:

And, just in MY opinion, earrings on infants look... well, we'll just say it's not a look I think is nice, for a child of mine.

I got mine pierced when I was young, around 5? 6? I can't remember exactly, just that I was old enough to ask for them. I had so many problems with infections and allergic reactions to the metals, and had to have them re-pierced three times because they grew up so quickly. And now, I wear earrings maybe once a year, if that. It was basically pointless.


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## seawind (Sep 28, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *babygrant* 
This could go for anything. "Oh who care about the little boys in north america who are getting circ'd, there are baby GIRLS in Africag getting circ'd in unsterile environment.

Most of us feel strongly about not altering a body that is not ours to alter. I'm not going to keep my mouth shut when it comes to an issue that I feel strongly about. I will offer my opinion when asked. Just because YOU don't think it's a "least important issue to make a fuss about" doesn't mean we all should.

We talk about alteration and abuse whenever this topic comes up, but, the fact is, cultures where this is a norm also happen to be the most child-friendly cultures in the world, what we term as attachment parenting has always been practiced by them as a matter of course. Which is why these terms (abuse, etc) show our understanding of the practice to be superficial at best.

I am not talking about "anything". I am talking about the fuss being made about ear-piercing in relation to a whole lot worse that children around the world face every single day. If you can, in all honesty, claim ear-piercing to be the same as child trafficking (to pick just one issue), I have nothing more to say.


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## babygrant (Mar 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *seawind* 
We talk about alteration and abuse whenever this topic comes up, but, the fact is, cultures where this is a norm also happen to be the most child-friendly cultures in the world, what we term as attachment parenting has always been practiced by them as a matter of course. Which is why these terms (abuse, etc) show our understanding of the practice to be superficial at best.

I am not talking about "anything". I am talking about the fuss being made about ear-piercing in relation to a whole lot worse that children around the world face every single day. If you can, in all honesty, claim ear-piercing to be the same as child trafficking (to pick just one issue), I have nothing more to say.

I am absolutely NOT saying that ear-piercing is the same as child trafficking. I am saying that just because ear piercing isn't as horrible as others, I'm not going to keep my opinion to myself. That's all.


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## seawind (Sep 28, 2007)

Everybody has an opinion on something. We can just decide what issues are worthy of offering them up.


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## captain crunchy (Mar 29, 2005)

Well for goodness sakes no one is saying that human trafficking and ear piercing are the same offenses... my word let's get a grip here.

However, if you want to examine the underlying reasons, justifications, and behaviors which lead up to both, they are similar on a psychological level.

This child is mine to do with what I want regardless of whether I cause them pain.

I am the parent/guardian, it is my decision to make choices with my child's body for my own reasons, even when not medically necessary, and not in the spirit of maintaining their physical or emotional health. (Please, I hope no one is going to tell me ear piercing an infant is emotionally and physically needed or healthy).

I am not concerned with what measure of pain they may feel because in my eyes, it is worth the means-to-an-end. I get the result I want, so I will put aside any feelings or thoughts they may have.

The psychology behind it is the same. There is absolutely no altruistic or non-selfish reason to pierce a child's ears. None. Even with circumcision (which I adamantly oppose) -- at least most people are simply uneducated or ignorant -- they believe it is healthier, more sanitary, cuts infection risk (which we know is not true but ykwim) etc --- very few people simply do it for vanity -- but in ear piercing of an infant or a child who hasn't asked, hasn't had a say in it, and is being caused pain for nothing more than the sake of a parents' vanity and imo, misplaced priorities -- there is absolutely no other reason for it.

I'm sorry, "little Janie looks SO CUTE!!" is not a valid or acceptable reason to hold someone still without their consent as you shoot HOLES through their flesh. Sorry, cute it up all you (collective) like, but that is what is going on.


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## Phoenix~Mama (Dec 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *captain crunchy* 
Body altering without someone's free choice for vanity sake aside









It just never ceases to confuse me why a little tiny infant girl (or boy or whatever) isn't "cute" enough on their own without holes in their ears and earrings poked through them.

Honestly, what is the point????

I dunno, I have a real problem with "they only cried for ___" sentiments. What could be worth making a child cry for the sake of their cuteness or whatever when not a medical necessity or whatever? I am just not cool with inflicting pain for vanity's sake so we will have to agree to disagree I guess.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *captain crunchy* 
Well for goodness sakes no one is saying that human trafficking and ear piercing are the same offenses... my word let's get a grip here.

However, if you want to examine the underlying reasons, justifications, and behaviors which lead up to both, they are similar on a psychological level.

This child is mine to do with what I want regardless of whether I cause them pain.

I am the parent/guardian, it is my decision to make choices with my child's body for my own reasons, even when not medically necessary, and not in the spirit of maintaining their physical or emotional health. (Please, I hope no one is going to tell me ear piercing an infant is emotionally and physically needed or healthy).

I am not concerned with what measure of pain they may feel because in my eyes, it is worth the means-to-an-end. I get the result I want, so I will put aside any feelings or thoughts they may have.

The psychology behind it is the same. There is absolutely no altruistic or non-selfish reason to pierce a child's ears. None. Even with circumcision (which I adamantly oppose) -- at least most people are simply uneducated or ignorant -- they believe it is healthier, more sanitary, cuts infection risk (which we know is not true but ykwim) etc --- very few people simply do it for vanity -- but in ear piercing of an infant or a child who hasn't asked, hasn't had a say in it, and is being caused pain for nothing more than the sake of a parents' vanity and imo, misplaced priorities -- there is absolutely no other reason for it.

I'm sorry, "little Janie looks SO CUTE!!" is not a valid or acceptable reason to hold someone still without their consent as you shoot HOLES through their flesh. Sorry, cute it up all you (collective) like, but that is what is going on.


*nods to both* Well said!!!









I agree with you word for word.


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## Teenytoona (Jun 13, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *babygrant* 
Same thing you hear from people who circumcise their boys.







:

Yeap. It's only a little pain, they won't remember it... that's why you do it at a young age. You don't see anyone advocating for piercing/modifiying alzheimer's patients for the same reasons.

A baby girl's ear piercings are frequently so people will know she's a girl. We don't need to start indoctrinating our girls so early to know their best worth are as decoration only.


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## mamabeca (Oct 3, 2004)

Cap'n Crunchy, you ROCK.


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## SparklingGemini (Jan 3, 2008)

My DD had her ears pierced when she was four months old.

Her pediatrician did it because I distrust the mall.

She didn't cry a single tear.

If the OP wants more info, please feel free to PM me. Otherwise, I, too, am staying out of the debate and not interested in a flame war. Thanks!







:


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## DizzyMissLizzy (Jul 1, 2008)

I took my daughter in when she was 6 months old

BIG MISTAKE.

At the time, body piercing places were not for ears so I took her to the mall. ANOTHER BIG MISTAKE.

She has had constant problems with her ears and I think it was because they weren't done properly. She pretty much can never wear earrings even now and it's been 9 yrs later!

I'm finally pregnant with DD#2 and I will not be piercing her ears so early and if/when I do...I will take her to a body piercing place so everything is sterile.


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## Phoenix~Mama (Dec 24, 2007)

Not to get into a war... but because of shear curiousity...

What reasons do you Mamas have for piercing your babies ears? Why is it so important to get it done when they are infants before they have a say?

I have seen many posts simply stating "I did it and don't regret they will love them like I do..."

But why do you think this? How can a baby love earrings? They don't even know what they are! lol


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## DizzyMissLizzy (Jul 1, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JSMa* 
Not to get into a war... but because of shear curiousity...

What reasons do you Mamas have for piercing your babies ears? Why is it so important to get it done when they are infants before they have a say?

I have seen many posts simply stating "I did it and don't regret they will love them like I do..."

But why do you think this? How can a baby love earrings? They don't even know what they are! lol

First I won't be doing it again, I learned my lesson and I'm sorry it had to be on my daughter. *other post up there*

BUT, I did it because all the other baby girls in my family had them and they ARE just so darn cute but I would take back the darn cute to have my daughter have her healthy ears back!


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## DevaMajka (Jul 4, 2005)

This thread is being returned to the forum. Some posts have been removed for User Agreement Violations.
When posting to this, and any, thread, please be mindful of the MDC User Agreement, especially:

Quote:

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and

Quote:

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Quote:

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If you have any questions, please pm me or another Parenting mod.

Thanks


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## accountclosed2 (May 28, 2007)

I have a question. In what way would any vaccines help? Are they expected to prevent infection? It seems a very odd to me.

I won't get into the debate on the principle, piercing ears or not. It isn't common here, so I haven't considered it.

However, I personally do my very best to prevent allergies, pain infections etc for my DD. I had my ears pierced at 13. 6 months of painful constant infections followed. And I developed nickel allergy, which is a hassle (think jeans buttons, rings, watches, hair clips, bobby pins etc. etc.). I hardly ever wear earrings nowadays, but the holes are still there.


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## vegmamadeb (Oct 30, 2008)

Just curious..

At what age do you feel they would have to be to be able to ask for permission?


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## punkrawkmama27 (Aug 31, 2007)

DD is 6 almost 7 (I was 7 when I decided I wanted my ears pierced..OUCH!) and she still does not want it done. I ask her, and she says no maybe next year. I can remember my 1st ear piercing being more painful and being more trouble than any of my other piercings. My mom would have to clean them twice a day and turn them. When I had them for 6 weeks she had to change them out for new earrings. It hurt so bad, and I was always fighting her. IMO, there is enough to deal with when you have an infant, why put one more thing on your plate with making sure her ears dont get infected. With that said, I know ALOT of parents who get their baby's ears pierced. The lo I babysit for had her ears pierced 3 times!!!! Her mom took her to the pediatrician to have it done, and the first time they were crooked, they werent even, so she took her back to the same pediatrician to have it done again. Well, they were crooked again! So she took her to claires and had it done there. The little girl is now two, and she is always loosing her earrings and some days she only has one in, or the mom doesnt put any in at all.


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## Ellen Griswold (Feb 27, 2008)

Had my own done at 9, then another set at 21. Would like to make a special day of it for my daughter, one that she can remember.

Worked at a daycare several years ago. Got 1 year old up from her nap, earring back was missing. Took the post out, gave it to mom and warned her that lo was probably playing with it. Oh no, mom said, she wouldn't do that. Next day, I get her up from her nap and the earring is in her mouth.

Frankly, kids try to swallow worse things than earrings, but why take that risk?

Heavens, I hope the OP is brave enough to post here again.


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## CanidFL (Jul 30, 2007)

OP - I'm not sure if you are still reading this thread but I just wanted to invite you to the Vaccination forum. You asked if you should wait till 6 months when they have a few shots before piercing. At 6 months if you vax on schedule, they would have HepB, Rotavirus, DTaP, Hib, PCV and Polio. None of these have anything to do with ear piercing other than HepB if you went the mall route. Stop by and read through the archives and hopefully become a little more informed about vaccines. You may save yourself some heartache.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Eliza_Douchehammer* 
No, not even close. Ear piercing is putting a tiny hole in the earlobe that can close up in the future.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *JamesMama* 

I'm not ashamed of getting them done, I love them....and I hope that DD will love them in the future. If not, she can take them out. *shrug*

I must say that reading these really struck a nerve. My mom got my ears pierced before I can remember. The holes do not close up. I hate earings and have never worn any in over 10 years. The holes are still there and very visible. I hate them.


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## mytwogirls (Jan 3, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *captain crunchy* 
They are similar. Both practices are altering the bodyscape of a defenseless infant without their consent and without medical reason. Both are unnecessary cosmetic procedures done for the sake of vanity, culture, or with the intent of "improving" someone's attractiveness/appeal/acceptance. Both are (imo) selfish acts perpetuated by people who do not stop to consider that their infant actually feels pain and may actually be scarred (physically or even emotionally) by their action. Both acts are done while forcibly holding down a child and deliberately causing them pain, then both justified by the fact that the child "won't remember" and that it "only hurt for a moment".

Very similar imo.

Thank you captain


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## mytwogirls (Jan 3, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *captain crunchy* 
Body altering without someone's free choice for vanity sake aside









It just never ceases to confuse me why a little tiny infant girl (or boy or whatever) isn't "cute" enough on their own without holes in their ears and earrings poked through them.

Honestly, what is the point????

I dunno, I have a real problem with "they only cried for ___" sentiments. What could be worth making a child cry for the sake of their cuteness or whatever when not a medical necessity or whatever? I am just not cool with inflicting pain for vanity's sake so we will have to agree to disagree I guess.

YES TO THIS!!!!


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## Hesperia (Sep 3, 2007)

*captain crunchy* you are my hero


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## veganf (Dec 12, 2005)

I'd wait until she asks for her ears to be pierced. It is her body after all.


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## mytwogirls (Jan 3, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hesperia* 
*captain crunchy* you are my hero









Yep, my hero as well







You said what I was thinking, I was just not able to write it down as fast or as clever.


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## jocelyndale (Aug 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *vegmamadeb* 
Just curious..

At what age do you feel they would have to be to be able to ask for permission?

I think a lot depends on the child's maturity levels. I have a friend who is a professional piercer and I'm not sure she'd go under eight years, and even at 8, she'd need to know the parents and child quite well. If she isn't willing to pierce my child, my child is too young.


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## mommato5 (Feb 19, 2007)

My oldest daughter started asking for them at age 4. After a year, we let her get them on her 5th birthday. So far, she has done very well with them. As soon as I had her, my mother wanted her ears done. I refused. Then my brother and I had little girls within a few months apart and mom started in on both of us about earrings. She got the point and has not said another word. I look at babies with them and think of how sorry I feel for them. There is no reason to rush into it just because she is a girl.

My mom had mine done at 3. I have had nothing but trouble out of them. They won't close. If I put in earrings (maybe twice a year, tops) they get infected. I even tried a belly ring, twice and that was a no go. My body has built up an allergy to that kind of stuff.


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## vanauken (Oct 10, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *captain crunchy* 
There is absolutely no altruistic or non-selfish reason to pierce a child's ears. None.

I think there is.

Now, I grant this is a fairly uncommon case, and I understand that you probably won't agree with me, but here's why I had my babies' ears pierced:

My youngest two are MZ (identical) twin girls. Though my husband and I could tell them apart, no one else could. So we had their ears pierced to help people tell them apart. One always wears pink, the other always wears white (and we have a mnemonic that matches those colors to their names, to help folks remember).

Now, to me, the short period of time when it hurt was a small price to pay for the psychological benefit of having people call each of them by her own name, rather than "baby" or "hey you" or "which one are you?"









I think it's psychologically good for them to be called by their own names, and this was the best way help family and friends to do that. (I know other folks have other methods, but this was the most consistant we heard of. Others didn't work for us for various reasons; bows won't stay in their hair, color-coding clothes was impractical as they're wearing mostly hand-me-downs, didn't want to write in Sharpie on their skin, they'd chew a bracelet, etc.)

So, for us, the motivation wasn't vanity, it was health, albeit mental/spiritual health. And I have to tell you: totally worth it. It's so good to hear, for example, their big sister, calling them by the correct names, getting to know them as individuals, etc.

Again, I know it's an unusual situation. But I disagreed with your assertion that there was _no_ altruistic reasons, and so I thought I'd post.


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## finn'smama (Jan 11, 2006)

A question for those who are fine with infant ear piercing; if I thought it would make my kids cuter to have their noses or bellybuttons pierced as infants, is that okay too?
If not, what's the difference?


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## gealach (Sep 11, 2004)

I'm not going to jump into the debate, but a word to those who think that the holes will "just close up" if the child decides she or he doesn't like having pierced ears. That is not always true. The holes don't close. Not on everyone. I had my ears pierced when I was very very young and my desire to wear earrings comes and goes. But, I have gone earring-free for up to a year at a time and the holes do not go away. They do not even get smaller.


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## BunnySlippers (Oct 30, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *finn'smama* 
A question for those who are fine with infant ear piercing; if I thought it would make my kids cuter to have their noses or bellybuttons pierced as infants, is that okay too?
If not, what's the difference?


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## finn'smama (Jan 11, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BunnySlippers* 









You know, I've asked this question in a number of these threads and have never gotten an answer. I wonder why??


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## seawind (Sep 28, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *finn'smama* 
A question for those who are fine with infant ear piercing; if I thought it would make my kids cuter to have their noses or bellybuttons pierced as infants, is that okay too?
If not, what's the difference?

Speaking only for cultures where this is a long standing practice: "Cuteness" is a non-factor in ear-piercing.

We do a great disservice to the generations of women who have practised ear-piercing by using terms like personal gratification, pleasure and gendering, vanity. If this were to be such a life-altering act for the person concerned , if it were to result in the kind of intrusion and trauma (words used repeatedly in responses), you can be sure the women and men would have raised great objection to it in subsequent generations and tried to stop it. Like so many other practices that have been questioned and stopped. Really, nobody except outsiders to the culture keep getting so offended by it. Nevermind how offending their words are to a people known for being extremely child friendly. They really don't need someone, who has NO understanding of the significance it holds, to do a superficial analysis and come up with various terms which don't bear any resemblance to what the physical and cultural experience beyond the description/definition of ear-piercing. Proof is ultimately to be found in the fact that these children (with holes in their ear-lobe cartilage) are some of the happiest in the world. Who are we to patronize them by telling them that their rights were violated.


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## mommy68 (Mar 13, 2006)

I think what works for one family isn't going to be the same for another. With that, in our family I have decided that my DD can get her ears pierced whenever she asks to do it and is serious about it.







She's 6.5 yrs old now and has not asked yet. But anytime she asks I will take her to do it.







However, I will not make the choice for her. They're her ears.


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## mommy68 (Mar 13, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gealach* 
I'm not going to jump into the debate, but a word to those who think that the holes will "just close up" if the child decides she or he doesn't like having pierced ears. That is not always true. The holes don't close. Not on everyone. I had my ears pierced when I was very very young and my desire to wear earrings comes and goes. But, I have gone earring-free for up to a year at a time and the holes do not go away. They do not even get smaller.

That probably depends on your ear lobe and how thick it is.







I have had my ears pierced 4 times, 2 in each ear. But one piercing was done less than two years ago (I was going through a phase







) and I stopped wearing earrings about a year ago and the holes are still there but there's no way I can push an earring through, ick. It's blocked inside there. I'd have to get them re-pierced.


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## finn'smama (Jan 11, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *seawind* 
Speaking only for cultures where this is a long standing practice: "Cuteness" is a non-factor in ear-piercing.

We do a great disservice to the generations of women who have practised ear-piercing by using terms like personal gratification, pleasure and gendering, vanity. If this were to be such a life-altering act for the person concerned , if it were to result in the kind of intrusion and trauma (words used repeatedly in responses), you can be sure the women and men would have raised great objection to it in subsequent generations and tried to stop it. Like so many other practices that have been questioned and stopped. Really, nobody except outsiders to the culture keep getting so offended by it. Nevermind how offending their words are to a people known for being extremely child friendly. They really don't need someone, who has NO understanding of the significance it holds, to do a superficial analysis and come up with various terms which don't bear any resemblance to what the physical and cultural experience beyond the description/definition of ear-piercing. Proof is ultimately to be found in the fact that these children (with holes in their ear-lobe cartilage) are some of the happiest in the world. Who are we to patronize them by telling them that their rights were violated.

While I understand that infant ear piercing can be a cultural thing, and holds more significance for some, that doesn't make it right. But I suppose I could change the wording in my question and you can substitute cuteness for cultural as the reason.
I mean ric is cultural too, right?


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## mytwogirls (Jan 3, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *finn'smama* 
A question for those who are fine with infant ear piercing; if I thought it would make my kids cuter to have their noses or bellybuttons pierced as infants, is that okay too?
If not, what's the difference?

I have often wondered that myself. Hmmm....wonder what the answer would be........


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## captain crunchy (Mar 29, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mytwogirls* 
I have often wondered that myself. Hmmm....wonder what the answer would be........

"that's different".


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## Anastasiya (Jun 13, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Contrariety* 
How many have the same thing to say about RIC? It's the exact same thing, I don't care who you are or where you are coming from.

Not my body, not my choice to permanently modify without a well founded medical reason.

Haven't read the whole thread, but...

It's not the EXACT same thing at all. RIC damages the way the penis was intended to function. It changes the way it works, it changes the immune properties, the sexual sensitivity, the intended action in intercourse.

Piercings do not change the way the ear works or how you hear things. Even an infection doesn't change the way the ear works, unless in some extreme circumstance you lose your ear from it.

Both, however, inflict a permanent cosmetic modification on a body part that does not belong to anyone but the owner of that body part.

That said, I am against _both_ infant circumcision and infant piercing.


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## meowee (Jul 8, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AislinCarys* 
I have a question. In what way would any vaccines help? Are they expected to prevent infection? It seems a very odd to me.

DTaP--- T = tetanus

All my girls but the newborn have their ears pierced. The one DD who didn't have it done as a baby was miserable her ears were not pierced so we had them done when she was not quite 4.


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## CanidFL (Jul 30, 2007)

What does tetanus have to do with ear piercing? How could you possible get tetanus from piercing your ears?

I'm not being snarky. Just wondering why you think that.


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## Anastasiya (Jun 13, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CanidFL* 
What does tetanus have to do with ear piercing? How could you possible get tetanus from piercing your ears?

I'm not being snarky. Just wondering why you think that.

Maybe because piercing guns are being rolled around in horse manure?


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## GirlBoyGirlBoy (Sep 9, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *seawind* 
Speaking only for cultures where this is a long standing practice: "Cuteness" is a non-factor in ear-piercing.

We do a great disservice to the generations of women who have practised ear-piercing by using terms like personal gratification, pleasure and gendering, vanity. If this were to be such a life-altering act for the person concerned , if it were to result in the kind of intrusion and trauma (words used repeatedly in responses), you can be sure the women and men would have raised great objection to it in subsequent generations and tried to stop it. Like so many other practices that have been questioned and stopped. Really, nobody except outsiders to the culture keep getting so offended by it. Nevermind how offending their words are to a people known for being extremely child friendly. They really don't need someone, who has NO understanding of the significance it holds, to do a superficial analysis and come up with various terms which don't bear any resemblance to what the physical and cultural experience beyond the description/definition of ear-piercing. Proof is ultimately to be found in the fact that these children (with holes in their ear-lobe cartilage) are some of the happiest in the world. Who are we to patronize them by telling them that their rights were violated.

Please know that I am not being snarky, but WHO exactly are you talking about here? What culture with some of the happiest children in the world? And what exactly is the significance of ear piercing within that culture?


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## Phoenix~Mama (Dec 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GirlBoyGirlBoy* 
Please know that I am not being snarky, but WHO exactly are you talking about here? What culture with some of the happiest children in the world? And what exactly is the significance of ear piercing within that culture?


I'm glad someone finally asked this because I have been wondering this myself...

I would have to say the large majority of Americans do it for no other purpose than cosmetic reasons so the entire cultural argument is moot here...


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *seawind* 
...if it were to result in the kind of intrusion and trauma (words used repeatedly in responses), you can be sure the women and men would have raised great objection to it in subsequent generations and tried to stop it.

How can we be sure? Male circumcision in the US is defended and promoted by men who had their foreskins removed as infants. (DH was circumcised and he can't understand why I have an issue with it.) It's my understanding that in many (most? all?) places where FGM is practiced, it's _women_ who perform the procedure. That doesn't mean either of these things are non-traumatic - and they're _definitely_ intrusive. I'm not saying circumcision and ear-piercing are the same, but I don't agree with your above statement at all? Why should I (or anyone) be "sure" that if a practice is traumatic to infants, the grown-ups will object to it, as the evidence doesn't back that up?

I don't get the ear-piercing thing, and I doubt I ever will. I've been trying to figure it out since I was a little girl, and saw my first pierced baby.


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## captain crunchy (Mar 29, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
How can we be sure? Male circumcision in the US is defended and promoted by men who had their foreskins removed as infants. (DH was circumcised and he can't understand why I have an issue with it. It's my understanding that in many (most? all?) places where FGM is practiced, it's _women_ who perform the procedure. That doesn't mean either of these things are non-traumatic - and they're _definitely_ intrusive. I'm not saying circumcision and ear-piercing are the same, but I don't agree with your above statement at all? Why should I (or anyone) be "sure" that if a practice is traumatic to infants, the grown-ups will object to it, as the evidence doesn't back that up?

I don't get the ear-piercing thing, and I doubt I ever will. I've been trying to figure it out since I was a little girl, and saw my first pierced baby.

ITA. Great post.


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## angela&avery (May 30, 2002)

i think, from experience, ear peircing is most often done without thinking.... odd, I know.. but still....

I pierced my dd's ears... my cousins dd had hers done as a baby and I did my dd too.

I did not vaccinate her or my ds and he was not circumcised..

Why did i do it? I thought it would be cute, and i thought it would be better than dealing with them on an older child who might fiddle with dirty fingers, etc.

Would I do it now? I dont think I would. My perspective of it not being my body has changed.

Would my dd have them done now? Im not sure.... maybe not bc it would hurt.. (she is 5).

Does she love having her ears peirced? Yes... absolutely and she also loves the benefit of holes that do not close up, so she wears earrings only when she wants to..

Oh and I asked I just asked her and she said she is glad she already has them done because it would hurt, her friend at school told her it hurt a lot when she had them done.

I dont know if I would do it again plainly because its not my body... but if i could know ahead of time that she would want them... I would ..LOL


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## BunnySlippers (Oct 30, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *angela&avery* 
i think, from experience, ear peircing is most often done without thinking.... odd, I know.. but still....

I pierced my dd's ears... my cousins dd had hers done as a baby and I did my dd too.

I did not vaccinate her or my ds and he was not circumcised..

Why did i do it? I thought it would be cute, and i thought it would be better than dealing with them on an older child who might fiddle with dirty fingers, etc.

Would I do it now? I dont think I would. My perspective of it not being my body has changed.

Good for you for thinking differently than you did before(and admitting it) and for not feeling like to you had to defend/stand by your origional decision


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## finn'smama (Jan 11, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mytwogirls* 
I have often wondered that myself. Hmmm....wonder what the answer would be........

I guess we'll never know...


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## mytwogirls (Jan 3, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *finn'smama* 
I guess we'll never know...









Maybe I don't even WANT to know....


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## Miss 1928 (Nov 12, 2007)

I have one more reason not to that hasn't been mentioned yet, I think.
I believe that earrings on my LO would interfere with kisses and snuggles and bedsharing and nursing. Maybe they woudn't, since I see so many infants with earrings (which always makes me sad, BTW) but it just seems to me that they would get caught and tangled on things and cause pain to the babe.

I do like jewelery on babies, my DD has a wee gold bracelet from an uncle and a gold necklace from her Nonna that she seems to enjoy a lot. But earrings on those too young to have asked for them themselves make me shudder. It's not cute at all to me.

I have multiple piercings in my ears and I love that I have pierced ears, but each piercing was my own choice (and several I even did myself







: It's what all of us non-conformists were doing in high-school back in the 80s.







) I would want my daughter to choose for herself when and if she wants her ears pierced, as I chose for myself.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Alyantavid* 
I don't choose to alter my children's bodies without their consent. I don't even cut hair without them asking for it.









:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *finn'smama* 
A question for those who are fine with infant ear piercing; if I thought it would make my kids cuter to have their noses or bellybuttons pierced as infants, is that okay too?
If not, what's the difference?

Oooohh! How about an eyebrow piercing, now that's a good idea!










OK, although I am obviously of the opinion; "Her body, Her choice." about ear rings --and even hair cuts, I totally want to get a little anchor or pin-up girl, or just the classic "MOM" tattooed on to my DD's adorable little bicep.







: I've had the urge to tattoo my child since she was about 3 months old.

I don't think I will though.........








:


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## claddaghmom (May 30, 2008)

I wonder if the reason we have such a broad spectrum of opinions on this topic is due to the many different ways people experience piercing?

For example, I've pierced my ears numerous times and never felt any pain. Not even the proverbial "pinch." Of course, when I was a younger teen, I wore those cheapo nickel earrings and I definitely felt the infection. But, once I started wearing gold earrings, I found I can leave them in basically permanently without any infection or pain. It's like wearing my wedding ring; I don't even feel it.

That being said, I pierced DH's ears when we were teens and he actually teared up from the pain. He said it felt like a really sharp paper cut and burned for about a 1/2hr later. I don't think I can convince him to do that again. He already took out the piercing and the hole closed.

I've pierced 3yo who sat there perfectly still and smiled. And I've pierced 40yo who started sobbing and wouldn't let me finish the other ear. The perception of pain differs for people.

When I first saw this thread, I considered myself on the fence. My first impression was to pierce my baby's ears myself around 4-6 weeks. I think I will be waiting until she is older now that I have thought about it and read about it. Maybe the 6-8yr range would be good......


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## DevaMajka (Jul 4, 2005)

Hi all. I'm closing this thread to new posts. I think it's likely that the OP has gotten all the answers that she was looking for.

I've had to remove UAV's from this thread *after* my last reminder to stay within the UA.

If you have any questions, please pm me.
Thanks!

Becky


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