# How much does labor hurt?



## clavicula (Apr 10, 2005)

I am so confused!
My third trimester starts on Monday, so giving birth to my #1 is not around the corner, but i have heard so many confusing informations about the pain itself i don't know what to think...

I hope you are gonna share your experiences here!








Thanks!


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## Artisan (Aug 24, 2002)

For most people, there is pain. But it's not pain like your arm has just been sawed off or anything. The pain comes and goes, and slowly builds in intensity, so you have time to get used to it. It is like a huge menstrual cramp that stretches from hip to hip and radiates into your back. Along with the cramp is tightening and sensations in your cervix.

I won't sugar coat it. It hurts. But it was also a really empowering experience. It's pain with a purpose. The pain ends, and you get a gorgeous baby to show for it.


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## kirei (Dec 2, 2004)

I'll be honest... it hurt SO BAD. Well... okay, the contractions were terrible. Baby was NOT face up, however I still had very bad back labour. It was definitely bearable at first... but they still were trying to make me walk the hospital hallways during transition. That was rough. I ended up on my knees on the floor trying to get through contractions. During transition they were very painful. The worst was in my back. I guess some people dont have back labour, though....

Anyway... pushing was WORSE. Wow. It was the most horrible thing I have ever experienced. I never want to do it again. It felt absolutely impossible. My baby came out with her hand on her cheek... I guess that made it more difficult than usual. My labour was only about 5 hours, and I think I only pushed for.. 15 minutes? But it was the hardest thing I have ever done.









I'm sorry that I had nothing good to tell you.


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## MotherEarthMom (Oct 21, 2004)

Mine was bearable until the very end when she transcended and it was to 10 cm.Then I just screamed,by that time my epidural wore off.But then when they let me push it felt better and then after pushing and finally getting her out everything was fine,it wasn't as bad as people kept telling me it would be.For every woman it is different.


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## Rainbow (Nov 19, 2001)

My last two births were pitocin induced, which they say is very painful. Granted, it was uncomfortable... and being stuck in a bed and not able to move doesn't help- but I found the pain to be totally tolerable and bearable by focussing, breathing, and just accepting. I think fighting, clinging to things, and trying to avoid the pain is going to make it more intense. But literally letting it go and just managing each contraction made it completely managable. I guess maybe like evry intense cramps- not like being injured or anything.

Really, it will be ok- just remember to accept it and breath through it. Dow hatever it is that helps get through the contraction.


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## shalena (May 31, 2004)

nak

Labor hurt. It was like an intense hug around my belly and up into my back - squeezing and getting tighter and more intense. The pain would radiate from my right leg into my back and then be gone. I took each contraction one at a time and didn't loose my head. They come like waves and leave without a trace. There is time to recover and prepare for the next, whether it be a minute or 15 seconds.
When it was over, I was ready to do it again (after a nap, of course







)


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## desertpenguin (Apr 15, 2005)

It is definitely different for every woman, that's why you get so many conflicting stories. I had a 13 hr labor *sounds scary, but it really isn't.* When I first went into labor, I was scared, not because of the pain, but because my EDD was 5 weeks away, so I was scared for my ds. (He turned out to be only 3 weeks early, so not so bad!) My labor didn't hurt until my OB broke my water after I was 7 cm. I gave birth kneeling and without meds and pushed for 15 min. You should read about natural childbirth and try for no meds if you can. But you should definitely not recline or lay on your back during labor or delivery! It's bad for baby and part of the reason why c-sections are becoming more and more common due to fetal distress. It's also bad for you, as it makes your uterus work against gravity (uterus leans forward during contractions) and it also makes it more painful and you're more likely to have to have an episiotomy or tear badly. The nurse tried to make me recline while I was in labor, I even tried it, and I felt like it was more painful and I felt so out of control in that position. If I were to go back and do it again, I would have a home birth and not have my water broken!


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## mahogny (Oct 16, 2003)

In my experience, the pain was totally a result of my perception, and also the support I received.

For my first birth, I had "prepared", in that I took Bradley classes (with a very poor instructor) but I was still very scared going in, as it was a whole new experience. I ended up gettting pit, which caused me to panic, which caused a whole cascade of stuff to happen. I was scared, and as DH had never been through a birth either, he wasn't prepared to assist me in the way that I needed. So, that birth was a VERY painful birth. I ended up getting an epi, and DS was born less than an hour later. That birth just boiled down to the fact that DH and I were completely unprepared for the reality of labor.

For my 2nd birth, after the trauma of my first birth, DH and I were COMMITTED to going au naturale 100%. DH read and read and read about birth, we attended Bradley again, (with a MUCH MUCH MUCH better instructor), we had a doula, and we actively avoided any interventions that led to the disaster from the first birth. (My water had broken and labor didn't start, so we took measures to avoid that this time.)

Let me tell you, the experience from my 2nd birth was SOO different from my first. My labor lasted just 2 1/2 hours, and honest to goodness, there were just 2 contractions that were just absolutely horrid. Then immediately after those 2 contractions was the first pushing contraction, and that felt good! DH was WONDERFUL during labor, and said exactly everything I needed to hear, and did exactly everything I needed him to do. I'm 100% positive that his support throughout labor is what made it seem so managable and bearable. Really, it was just those last 2 contractions that I recall any pain.

I really think the key to pain management is having a LOT of great support!! (Incidentally, since my 2nd labor lasted just 2 1/2 hours, our doula didn't even get there until I was pushing! :LOL But DH was so wonderful during labor, I tease him that he ought to become a doula!)


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## OnTheBrink (Jan 24, 2004)

I had what I consider an odd labor. It was 63 hours long due to complications from my first birth (cesarean). Labor itself was not horribly painful, honestly. It was hard, but not that bad. Transition was worse, because I felt like I didn't get a break. Pushing sucked. I pushed for 2 hours. It sucked. Crowning and the birth - ouch! I was in a good position with good support and massage, and still had two 3rd degree tears. But I didn't notice them for about a week because of the nasty hemorroids. So, for me, the recovery was the worst. I didn't have anything to look forward to (baby was already born!) so I just felt ouchy.

But - of course it's worth it!


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## ObsessiveAndrea (Aug 14, 2003)

I did a thread about this somewhere else as a general discussion and here was one interesting article someone posted
From www.maternitywise.org:

Quote:


How does labor pain differ from other types of pain?
Labor pain differs from other kinds of pain in ways that make coping easier. Labor pain:

* is not a symptom of injury or illness: When pain signals that something is wrong, anxiety can increase painful sensations. Labor pain, however, is simply a sign that your body is working hard and well.
* is self-limiting: Labor rarely takes more than 24 hours.
* is rhythmic: Contractions last no longer than a minute or so and come in a regular pattern with one to several (usually) pain-free minutes in between them. This means you can predict and prepare for each contraction and rest between them.
* intensifies gradually over time: Contractions almost always start off mild and gradually grow longer, stronger, and closer together, thus allowing you time to adapt.

What is labor pain like?
The experience of labor pain varies markedly from woman to woman. It can also vary for the same woman in different parts of the labor and from one labor to another.

Nearly all women experience lower abdominal pain during contractions. Many also experience low back pain, either with contractions or, less often, continuously. Women may also feel pain throughout the belly; in the hips, buttocks, or thighs; or in some combination of these locations. Pain may radiate from front to back, back to front, or down the thighs. It may be felt in several areas at once or just in one specific place. Words women use to describe their pain include: cramping, sharp, aching, throbbing, pressing, and shooting. Pain intensity varies widely and generally increases as labor progresses.

The sources and sensations of pain are different in the dilation and pushing phases of labor, and your experience may differ substantially as well. The pushing phase may be less painful.

Some women reporting intense labor pain prefer not to describe their pain in negative terms. This suggests that the sensation and interpretation of pain may be distinct from each other. There are various reasons why this may be so.

What factors affect my experience of labor pain?
Pain is widely viewed as being nothing more than the perception of unpleasant sensation. The reality, however, is much more complex. Your experience of pain depends on many factors, including:

* your belief in your ability to cope: Confidence in one's ability to cope with the pain strongly influences how much pain women report experiencing in labor. Overall, more confident women report less pain.
* societal expectations and beliefs about labor pain: A woman's experience of labor pain and what she thinks is necessary to remedy it are influenced by popular and cultural beliefs, including images in the media.
* your labor environment: Elements affecting how much pain you experience include:
o who is with you
o their verbal and nonverbal communication with you
o the quality of support you receive
o the philosophy of care and the practices of medical staff
o the familiarity and comfort of your surroundings, including noise, lighting, and temperature.
* your previous experience with pain: If labor is not your first painful experience, you are less likely to feel overwhelmed and more likely to have developed coping skills. These experiences can reduce fear and pain.

Does pain relief make for a satisfying birth experience?
True or false: "If you have total or nearly total relief from labor pain, you will be very satisfied with your childbirth experience"? Many women and maternity caregivers may answer "true." However, women's labor pain experiences are often quite different from other experiences of physical pain. Labor pain need not involve suffering, and it can bring a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment.

When a woman feels she is successfully meeting a challenge and that she is the center of loving attention, she may experience a sense of exhilaration and zest even while in great pain. If she feels helpless and unable to cope or that people are not treating her with respect, she will suffer regardless of her pain level.

Pain and pain relief play at best a minor role in satisfaction ratings, except when expectations go unmet. Women are most likely to feel satisfied with their births when they feel a sense of accomplishment and personal control and when they have a good relationship with caregivers. A good relationship includes such elements as being treated with kindness and respect, getting good information, and being given the opportunity to participate in decisions about care. (The page on best evidence about pain relief provides support for this important information.)

What factors affect my choice of pain relief options?
Your choice of pain relief options is limited by where you decide to have your baby:

* type of birth setting:
o If you choose to have your baby in a hospital, as opposed to a birth center or at home, you will have access to pain medication, but may have very limited help with drug-free methods. Most women who give birth in U.S. hospitals use one or more types of pain medication.
o If you choose to have your baby outside of the hospital, a much wider array of comfort measures and non-drug techniques are likely to be available, but epidural analgesia is never an option and injected narcotics (also called opioids) are usually not available.
* hospital practice patterns: You are much more likely to have epidural analgesia if you have your baby in a hospital where epidurals are the norm than in one where they are not.
* hospital size: Epidural has become the leading method of labor pain relief in hospitals handling a large number of births. By contrast, narcotics are more common than epidurals in hospitals where fewer women give birth. (View trends in use of labor pain medications in the U.S.)

What explains this variation in available options?

* caregiver beliefs:
o The staff in larger hospitals that train residents and serve women at higher risk are more likely to take a high-tech approach to birth, including preference for epidural analgesia.
o Hospital caregivers in general are more likely to believe that labor pain is best managed by medication of some kind.
o Out-of-hospital caregivers tend to view pregnancy and birth as normal events that rarely require medical intervention, including pain relief drugs.
* staffing and equipment: Large hospitals usually have anesthesiologists available at all times, which tends to promote epidural use. Many smaller hospitals don't, making narcotics, which can be administered by nurses, the order of the day. The administration, monitoring, and possible complications of an epidural cannot be handled outside of the hospital. Some birth centers offer narcotics, but most out-of-hospital practitioners regard the need for pain medication as reason for hospital transfer.
* economics: Hospitals with around-the-clock anesthesiology services have an incentive to spread the cost of these services over many procedures and may encourage epidurals. Staff time is an economic factor as well. Once epidurals become the norm, support for other options often falls off because it is most efficient to have a similar routine for all. Unmedicated women also require a different set of skills and need more time-intensive nursing attention.
* women's preferences: In many U.S. birth settings, women appear to be given limited information about pain relief options and to have limited choice among various options. Nonetheless, many who use hospitals prefer pain medications, and many who use out-of-hospital settings prefer drug-free methods.


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## srenea04 (Oct 15, 2004)

Labor as already said is different with everyone. Even with each birth. I've had back labor twice and that hurts more in my opinion. For me my labor always came on very fast and thankfully were always short(my first was a little under 4 hours.) The urge to push is very strong and pushing actually feels good. While breathing and everything really helped me when the time came, so did yelling.







I'm so glad that I never had a doctor to tell me to hush like I have seen on tv.


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## zinemama (Feb 2, 2002)

It's different for everyone, as so many have pointed out.

Given that, it was the absolute worst pain in the entire world, for me. It was like being in a long, dark, unceasing tunnel of pain with no end in sight. Baby? I could barely think that there was a point to all of this, that there would be something positive at the end.

Given that, I am so scared of flying, that everytime I'm on a plane, I think, "I'd rather be in labor."


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## kavamamakava (Aug 25, 2004)

I have no idea how much it will hurt for you. But I can tell you that my labors don't hurt until transition. I labor just fine until about 8 cm without even a groan. The cramps and twinges and squeezes feel uncomfortable sometimes, but I've had worse when I was on my period. Plus, they always come to an end. Once they start coming close together and stronger, I sometimes get blindsided by them. When I'm not focused and prepared for the sensation, I tend to feel pain and get whiny.
But water takes away about 80% of that pain for me.
And then, the pushing part hurts for me. Some people say it doesn't hurt at all and they love it. It's the only part, for me, that I would call painful.

Do you know what's worse? The pains AFTER the birth. But they aren't as bad after the first birth, so you probably don't have to worry much about that.


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## crunchyconmomma (Feb 6, 2003)

okay i have to say it here...it's a fun pain. it hurts like H#LL, but it's such a good hurt because it is productive pain, not pathological. so it does feel good, in an incredibly painful way.







my root canal hurt so much more than my birth b/c my body knew that wasn't supposed to happen. and it doesn't manufacture "protective" hormones for it like the ones in birth that make you able to do it and able to bond and able to forget the pain IMMEDIATELY after you see that baby's face.

with #1 it was awful in every way - hospital birth with induction, drugs that didn't even take so just got in the way, lethotomy position, strangers, fluorescent lights and of course, NO preparation. so that one hurt in unhappy ways. but number 2 was testament to the fact that mother nature/god takes care of us when we do it the way it should be done.

#2 was a homebirth - i was in a lot of pain when labor kicked in and was miserable, until i got into the tub after i realized it was not more false labor that was going away. i labored in an aquadoula tub, pushed him out on the bed b/c i couldn't get into a good position. i took hypnobirthing classes and even with the true modicum of practice i had done beforehand, i was easily able to bring myself to a place of peaceful pain for the experience. each rush was really that - a rush. the only part that was PAINFUL in a really big way that i couldn't be too positive about was the actual crowning and that was over so fast. time distortion helps tremendously. and he was a 10 pound baby with a 16 head.

don't fret - the pain can be so enjoyable if you let it be. some women don't even experience pain. i was shooting for that, but when the time came, i let myself ride with the pain and it was beautiful.


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## mesecina (Apr 22, 2004)

For me, yes it hurt, but it was really pretty manageable. Early labor didn't hurt at all - I could feel my uterus tightening if I put my hand on my belly - and the contractions were regular, every 8-10 minutes. That went on for about 9 hours. Then I slept for about 4 hours, and woke up just before my water broke. Aftter that, the intensity increased gradually over the next 6 hours until my daughter was born. At first, I only had to consciously relax at the very peak of each one. Later there was a very short period at the peak of each contractio that I couldn't relax through and needed to moan through. I think pushing would have gone better if I had pushed a little more gently. For me, crowning was intensely painful, but it only lasted a few seconds.

I'm looking forward to doing it again in a couple of months. That hour or so after I saw my baby for the first time was the most exhilarated I've ever felt.


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## nonnymoose (Mar 12, 2004)

The description reader gave was the closest to what I experienced. My water broke first. My first contraction didn't come for an hour, and they were irregular in time and intensity for the first four or five hours. I spent most of my first stage at home - when I went to the hospital, I was at 7cm. I do remember one contraction before we left home that was intense enough for me to think, "I hope it doesn't get much worse than this," but it didn't...the issue there may have been the open-endedness of labor more than actual pain level. I didn't really find that it got any worse during transition, and I actually enjoyed pushing - no drugs, so I could feel him moving down. I have big ol' peasant hips, which may have helped







I never even opened the bottle of ibuprofen they gave me in the hospital. I'd do it again in a heartbeat.


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## mrzmeg (Jul 16, 2002)

My labor was incredibly, intensely painful; I did not realize that kind of pain existed before that experience. The pain was whole-body for me and did not go away between contractions, though it lessened then. I had a 20 hour labor and was in incredible pain for much of it, up until I began pushing. I was most vocal while pushing, but the pain at that point seemed a lot more manageable. JME.
But, once he was out, I was totally oblivious to everything else


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## kirei (Dec 2, 2004)

I felt like such a wreck after the baby was born. Seeing the baby seemed "weird" more than anything else. I was exhausted, scared, panicked, in pain... and seeing my baby didn't make it all go away.







They gave her to me right away and kept telling me to talk to her... but I just felt like I didn't even know what to do with her. I felt like I wasn't all there, at the time.


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## lizabird (Jan 19, 2004)

Wow, I skimmed some of these posts and I would be freaking out about labor right about now!

I had planned to have my baby (#1) at a birth center, drug free, with midwife and doula. We took a natural childbirth class, read a ton of books (I especially recomment Ina May's Guilde to Childbirth - this is such a wonderfully positive birth, you will really start looking forward to birth and excited to take part in this process!!! I loved this book!!)

I started contractions on a Wednesday evening, very light, very faint, they didn't affect my activities at all (we ate dinner, went for a walk, cleaned up, the usual evening stuff). That Wed's night, I slept until maybe midnight, woke up, got up, wondered if it was really the real thing, decided it wasn't so bad, went back to sleep. Woke up again maybe around 3 am. When I was up and moving around, I thought it was totally rediculous to be up at 3 am, the contractions were really mild. But when I tried to lay down, they were moreintense. Just really uncomfortable, like i had a really bad belly ache that would come and go. I finally just got up and started my day early. Ate breakfast, went for an hour long walk... obviously, I was not in great pain







here. I was excited, happy, looking forward to this birth, wondering what would happen next. My DS was great, very supportive, etc.

Okay, so it gets to be mid afternoon, we were watching a movie, I would have a contraction every 3 to 5 minutes, and they were starting to be intense where I had a hard time watching the movie, so I went in another room and leaned over some pillows and tried to doze. (hahaha) Still I wouldn't say anything hurt, just really uncomfortable, but WAY better as long as I was up and moving around.

Around 2 pm my water broke (that was really weird! like I just stood up from a sitting positition and there was a little pop and this liquid just dribbled down my legs, like, I don't think I just peed on myself but...







), so I went to sit on the toilet, and had my first REALLY uncomfortable contraction. Like really big belly ache. But still the discomfort just comes and goes. So at this point we call the birth center, tell 'em we're on our way, and I think I went through transition in the car (it was a 45 min ride) - so that was REALLY uncomfortable too, I wanted to be up and walking around but I had to sit in the car and I had this big bad belly aches every minute or so, it really helped me to just go with the flow and if I felt like moaning through a contractoin, to just moan through it and not care what else was going on around me.

We arrived at the birth center, walked in, answered a few questions, and within about 15 minutes I was pushing (totally involuntary, that was really cool too) about an hour later I pushed out a healthy baby boy. I don't remember the pushing or actual crowning or anything hurting at all. It was uncomfortable, very VERY intense, but I was so into it all, the whole naturalness of it (I actually kept waiting for an orgasmal birth, like some i Had read about







) and really trying to FEEL what was going on inside me. It as so cool, I could feel the baby move down, I could hear the midwife tell me she could see the head, I could hear myself make a lot of primal noises, it was like I was there and not there all at once, but I would never say it "hurt" just really super intense, not like anything you've ever experienced before.

I totally think that if you think you can do it and really really want to do it (drug free birth), and maybe having a high pain threshhold helps?, and you know what's going on and you are expecting all the feelings that happen, you can have a great birth experience. Obviously if there are complications or if you're forced to lay down (laying down would have been aweful for me, I was upright the whole time, it felt SOOO much better that way!), you could have a totally different experience. But this is YOur experience, and I am so happy to have had the entirely positive (intense but no pain) birth experience I had. I think it really helped me too, that I wasn't really expecting pain. Again, that Ina May book was great. So many positive stories, I wanted mine to be just like that, and it was!

Best wishes for quick, easy, and pain free!























(wow, I just looked at my message, that was long!)


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## FoxintheSnow (May 11, 2004)

There's no sugar coating it. The pain was horrendous for me and I have a high pain threshhold. You know when you get mentrual cramps that you feel in your back and legs because they are so intense? Take those times 10 and thats what labor pain is like. For me pushing was no big deal. After many many hours of labor I did 4 pushes and he was out. After I gave birth the nurses asked me jokingly "when are you having another one?" and I said "Never again" Well a year later we're planning our next one!

What helped me alot was oxygen and also allowing myself to vomit made me feel better. Also bringing videos of movies that you love.


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## broodymama (May 3, 2004)

Once transition hit things got pretty painful for me. I was in the hospital and wish I had been at home or had access to a tub. I sat in the shower in the hospital and the water spraying over me was nice but I would have really liked to be sitting in it. My labor pains were very low, right around/above my pubic bone area. It felt more like my bones were being pushed apart kind of pain, if that makes any sense. I was pretty tired from moving around a lot (I had several hours of back labor before DS flipped over) so by the time I was ready to push I was too tired to be up on hands and knees or squatting. It was very intense, but I've never felt more in-touch with my body.

Bottom line - yes it hurt, but it wasn't anything that I couldn't handle (though I may have said otherwise when I was in transition







). I'm glad that I didn't have meds and will do it the same way next time, though hopefully at home.


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## clavicula (Apr 10, 2005)

I am totally freaked out!







Okay, I am not really, thanks for the tons of experiences you wrote!
One more question if you still have time and energy to read and answer:
I want to go to the hospital, when shall i go if the labor starts at home? After my water broke? How did you decide when to sit into the car and go?
(Honestly, i don't want to spend the entire labor time at the hospital, i have heard that at the beginning it is so much better being at home.)
What do you think?


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## Kirsten (Mar 19, 2002)

Well, let me calm you down!









I have THE lowest pain threshold around; cry at a paper cut (they HURT!); go into an absolute panic about getting blood drawn. AND I have had three babies absolutely natural, without any drugs or interventions of any kind. And it was not hard to do. I second the poster who said that it was intense but not really painful.

I grew up worrying about how in the world I'd ever have the kids I hoped for - since you hear so much about how awful labor is. I understand that many women experience it this way and I feel so sad about that.

To up my chances of a good experience, I took classes that taught me how my body works, how to help the process along instead of fight it, how to avoid interventions that lead to pain and trouble. Best decision we ever, ever made - to take Bradley classes. Do please find an instructor you click with as they are all different. (Bradley classes are NOT taught in hospitals - the rare one may include some Bradley ideas but you want the real deal! I believe the link is www.bradleybirth.com - might be .org? They are small group classes taught in the instructor's home.)

If you know what to avoid, what your options are, how your spouse/partner can help you - you are well on your way to a much easier time. It doesn't guarantee you a pain-free labor but it most certainly can reduce the pain at the very least.

Stay home as long as you can - there is a chart in Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way (by Susan McCutcheon-Rosegg) that helps you figure out where you are in labor - what to look for in many ways, not just timing and length of contractions. My contractions were the length and time between so that I should have been much closer to birth than I knew I was. They were long enough and close enough together but I KNEW (on my first baby even) that they weren't strong enough to get a baby out of me. We hung out at home til I was unsure if/when the contractions were stopping.

Walk and walk and walk (during labor). Rest between - just sit wherever you are and lean forward onto your partner's shoulder (my dh kneeled in front of me when I sat on the couch, chair, bed). Drink plenty of water, just sips every few minutes. Stay as relaxed as humanly possible - I tried to go limp during contractions. This helps immensely!!!!! You want your head, your arms, your stomach (especially your stomach!) to just HANG down as you lean forward. Have your partner stroke your arm gently (I liked down my forearm from elbow to wrist, over and over, lightly - kind of like "any stress/tightness/etc. down and out"). If things got intense, I'd just kind of chant "muscles working, muscles working" because that is WHAT IT IS! If you think "ouch! OUCH!" and tense up, it will be awful. If you go limp and let your body work, it will be so much better, I promise.

Everyone is different - listen to your body. I felt best (during contractions) to be sitting and leaning onto dh, as limp as possible. Kneeling over a birth ball. Sitting backwards on the toilet, leaning on the back. Eyes closed, going limp, thinking or saying things like loose, limp, open, over and over.

This honestly worked so incredibly well for me that I was shocked myself. Pushing was tiring but no worse than running a long way - your leg muscles "hurt" - you can feel them and you are tired but you are ok. Ring of fire at the end (as baby crowns) was a sharper feeling and really the only part of labor that I'd call painful. That is over quickly.

I have helped two of my friends through their second labors and used the same Bradley techniques I learned. I really cannot recommend it highly enough. I know I'd not have had the wonderful births I had without learning those techniques/that information.

Fear will only tense you up and that makes the pain worse. You can do it; women have done it forever. Just learn what to avoid, what to do to help yourself, how to relax, how to work with your body. You can do it!!!!!


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## scrapadoozer (Jun 10, 2004)

Let me start by saying I know I have a very high pain threshold but my labor was very manageable. I had an on again off again 40+ hr all back labor most of which I stayed home for. I did not got to the hospital until I was ready to push. I had an unmedicated birth with a pressure episiotomy and not for one second did the pushing phase cause even a bit of discomfort for me. It was just this awe-inspiring, life-changing experience with absolutely no pain. You just never know how your labor will be! I fully expect my next labor to be totally different than my first. Good luck to you! I hope you have a fantastic birthing experience!


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## pickle it (May 16, 2004)

Liv- congratulations on becoming a mother! I agree with many of the above posters, relaxation and confidence are the keys.

I also grew up terrified of the idea of labor and giving birth, uh uh not me no way. I would rather die. Because of movies and tv and all the screaming and drama.

By the time I was actually pregnant I had learned a lot about the strength of women around the world and throughout all of history, not just here and now. Obviously, if labor were that terrible, we would have gone extinct a long time ago.

I had a great childbirth instructor (NOT from a hospital- they teach you how to lie down, shut up, and demand your epidural) who was also a hypno-birth instructor. I homebirthed with a midwife and my hypno-birth doula, in complete confidence and very peacefully. My contractions were less than 5 minutes apart for the first 12 hours and not painful at all. It was like being squeezed just to the point of pain, then slowly released. My DH said when I had a contraction, I looked like a deflated balloon-completely limp and not moving. I was really tired, but not in serious pain. When the midwife said, if you want to have the baby, you can push whenever you want...I pushed. It hurt a lot. I said to myself, you have to do this, get it over with and you will have a baby. Yes, crowning was really, really painful, but it lasted for just a few moments.

I had more pain the next morning than through the whole labor and birth.


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## mwherbs (Oct 24, 2004)

I am a real pain baby, my mother went to New York instead of staying around when we had our first because she did not want to see me in labor. a hangnail like the one I have right now will bother me constantly. And yet I was fine in labor- it is a different type of pain and as someone else has said comes and goes with a rythm. I had 2 natural hospital births and 2 homebirths- key things are feeling safe- low light, don't be reading or doing math don't be responsible for filling out the paperwork. cover you head if it is too light, ask for what you need simply or get it for yourself. Get in a shower and see if that helps- I don't even really know how to talk about the quality of the pain as it is unique to birth- I know that the more fear I had and the more pain I had and the longer it took. So one of the first things to do is to surrender to labor- you are doing what you want to do, give birth to a baby.


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## LoveChild421 (Sep 10, 2004)

*Take it one contraction at a time*

This was the best advice anyone ever gave me! It hurts- I know there are some women who have non-painful births but for me- yes it hurt- my water broke before contractions started then after it broke they started coming one minute apart and lasting one minute long! This lasted for 18 hours- however they stalled at one point then got incredibly intense at others. BUT I just took each contraction as it came and tried to get through it- and I did- you just have to turn your brain off- don't try to reason through it- don't say "well I'm 4 cm and it took 6 hours to get here I can't do this anymore!" don't look for a way out- don't allow yourself the option of "getting an epidural if you can't take the pain" because you will end up with the epi. Most importantly remember you CAN do it- it will hurt but you are STRONG and you will be so happy you didn't get pain meds when you experience the rush of euphoria that comes after birth and lasts for a week!

also WATER- being in a pool of warm water was like heaven- it helped so much when the contractions were so intense I didn't think I could take it!


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## Belle (Feb 6, 2005)

nak
Somebody asked me after my dd was born if labor was the most painful thing I ever felt. I said no. When I hurt my knee the previous summer it hurt worse. My contractions started out two minutes apart and stayed that way throughout my entire labor. (about 11 hours) The contrax did hurt but it was bearable pain. They didn't feel any worse during tranistion, I was just a little more emotionally fragile right then. I stalled at 9 1/2 cm for awhile and i felt pushy. They threatened me with a c/s if i pushed. That was the worst part was to not push. Once i started pushing that baby was out in an hour. i was actually surprised when a baby came out. :LOL i was totally caught up with pushing i had lost all sense of time and why i was there. it felt good to me to push. though, i didn't have a birth orgasm or anything like that.


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## mesecina (Apr 22, 2004)

I would also add to my previous post that I was expecting it to be much worse than it actually was. In fact, we didn't get to the birth center until 45 minutes before my daughter was born because I kept waiting for it to be unbearable and it just wasn't. Finally, I could feel her head descending and I said "we have to go NOW" and was only there about 10 minutes before starting to push.


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## clavicula (Apr 10, 2005)

Thank you ladies, you just cannot imagine how inspiring and encouraging your posts are for me!
Thanks for the great advices, and keep on saying them, I am here to read and learn from you!


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## sahli29 (Jan 23, 2004)

Yes, the labor pains do hurt but I found them to be no worse than really bad cramps.
What I noticed is it can hurt A LOT more when you are not able to follow your instincts and do what you feel is is best like positioning,eating,where/who your are with during your labor.

My first labor/birth was unassisted, and I was alone for the most part in our apartment till the last hour. I found the most painful position possible for me was laying down in bed(any postion in the bed). It hurt so bad I did it only once for less than a minute. It can also hurt really bad when you have back pains during to the postioning on the baby.

As long as you are free to move,eat,drink,or WHATEVER YOU NEED it will be tolerable. I am a total wimp when it comes to pain but was able to labor/birth a 9.6 lb girl and a 9.8 lb. boy. You can do it too! Think positive thoughts and remind yourself that each labor pain is opening you up to help get your little one closer to birth.


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## WinterBaby (Oct 24, 2002)

I second the previous poster...
First part of labor grew quickly uncomfortable for me but okay... Active labor hurt, but still okay. Transition was very bad for me - it was well over 24 hours later and I was tired - would fall asleep between contractions and so they'd come over me like a steamroller unexpectedly. I was also in tranistion a looong time with a cervical lip left. Finally after a couple transitiony hours AROM was suggested to try to bring the baby down onto the cerivix. I was hesitant, asked if that wouldn't make things hurt more and I dreaded that I was at a point where I couldn't take it if it got worse. There were suppressed smiles as it was explained to me it doesn't get worse, lol. They were right, there was no pain change in contractions. There was meconium staining in the waters, not heavy but not light either. Between the concern the baby may be becoming stressed and that after more than 30 hours of labor I may have been at the limit of my endurance there was some push to get the baby born. So there was some attempt to help push past the lip, and that hurt more. Hands in there messing with cerivix at full dilation = ouchy! Pushing felt alright (not great) tho, so I was encouraged to try that a while to see if we could bring the baby down a little faster. But not too long, then we felt I should lie down and rest, wait, conserve strength, and I was encouraged not to push. This quickly became excruciating as I was foolishly following this try not to push advice when the real undeniable Need to push began to wash over me, LOL. When I finally snapped "how am I supposed to NOT push?!" after being told don't push, relax, I think there was suppressed laughter this time when that meant by all means, we ought to be pushing, lol. The attempt not to push when every fiber was screaming push was the most horribly painful bit of the whole labor. (Try to never ever do that ;-)Pushing then felt energizing and good if totally having the unstoppable quality of a freight train. Crowning burned, but I held myself, slowed down and feeling that head peeking between my fingers I think was totally distracting, so not so bad as I had heard from many. And my 3rd stage while longish, wasn't anything to draw my attention.


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## Penelope (Jul 22, 2003)

With my first, it was *all* back labor, which is considerably more painful. I had an epidural after 20 hours of active labor because I was exhausted and she was still hours from being born. I was disappointed, though.

With my second, the first 15 hours or so were terrific: early labor was easy, and active/second stage labor was fine. I was on top of the contractions, I labored well, I went in the tub, it was all good. That was about the first 8 cm.

When the baby shifted position and became posterior... that was much worse. I didn't have a break between contractions, which made it more painful. And the pain was worse. I got scared, my labor slowed down. I had another epidural.







But I needed it, I think. Although my midwife and her partners tried to change his position (my midwife had her hands completely inside, gripping his head, trying to gently turn him) they couldn't get him to budge - he was wedged in there.

After he was born by C-section, they found that he was 9.5 pounds, which was why he'd been tough to turn. Had he been smaller or positioned differently, the whole delivery would have been different.

Plus with both of them I threw up a lot and that wore me down and made me somewhat dehyrated.

My point... I think "standard" labor is totally doable without drugs. Back labor, for me, was a different story, although some women have great deliveries even after back labor. My own opinion is that it's great to try for natural delivery, but allow yourself to use other interventions if it becomes necessary.


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## huggerwocky (Jun 21, 2004)

Hm, looks like I'm in the minority here, I thought labor pain was the worst I ever experienced in my life ( worse than a fracture or migraine) and I would have taken death gladly over it.


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## clavicula (Apr 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *huggerwocky*
Hm, looks like I'm in the minority here, I thought labor pain was the worst I ever experienced in my life ( worse than a fracture or migraine) and I would have taken death gladly over it.

Hello, huggerwocky, would you like to go into details? Did you labor at home or hospital? What had happened to you exactly?


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## wendy1221 (Feb 9, 2004)

I have had 2 babies. My first was completely natural (thanks to a great Bradley class!). My second I ended up w/ an epidural after being at 9 and still contracting for over 4 hours. I was definitely fighting labor that time. Ds was 2 weeks early, we had no one to watch ds1 while we were in the hospital, so we had to wake him up and bring him along. I would have been fine w/ him being there if we had planned it and I had explained things to him. But I was afraid of scaring him since I hadn't explained things to him. I didn't trust my doctor, the hospital here is awful, etc, etc, etc. I know my labor stalled b/c I was fighting it. My first, I just let go. The epidural was THE worst thing I have ever had to go through. Seriously. It was bad. My doctor even asked me if I felt like I was depressed or having PTSD at my 6 week check b/c she knew how badly the epidural affected me.

Labor hurts a lot, but it's not terrible. I have gallbladder problems when I'm pregnant and that is MUCH MUCH worse than labor. So was the abcessed tooth I had last fall. I've never broken any bones, so I don't know about that. But I don't think you can compare these different kinds of pain, b/c labor pain is completely different from anything you have felt or ever will feel. It's just different. It builds up and then disappears completely like it was never there, so you have a break to recover between contractions. My contractions started out at 4-5min and went to 2-3 very quickly, so I had a lot less time to get used to it than most people, but I still agree that it is very doable. I didn't think pushing hurt at all w/ either of my kids. It felt good. That might sound weird, but good int he same way finally peeing after you've been holding it in so long you thought you'd burst does. oes that make sense? It's like having a really big poop. Sorry, but it is. I didn't have the "ring of fire" at all w/ my first, but I sure did w/ the second (and I felt it even though the epidural had made my legs numb, I don't think it had done much to my belly and vaginal areas.) That did hurt (hurt is not a good word. it burned) quite a bit, but it's over so fast, I wouldn't call it traumatic or unbearable. THe most important thing is to relax and let your body take over. Just completely let go of all control and forget about anyone else around you and what they think. Just go w/ the flow.

And take a good natural childbirth class. Like Bradley or one taught by a homebirth midwife. None of those crappy hospital classes! You still have time!

Oh! And my first was posterior compound presentation (face up, hand up at his face) 8lbs 8oz, pushed for 2.5 hours, and my second was also posterior, so I had really bad back labor (spent most of labor on my hands and knees) but he turned face down before he was born. 9lbs 4 oz pushed for 5min or less.


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## CRosewhisper (Aug 26, 2004)

I labored and birthed my son at home unassisted. Water broke on a Sunday was in labor til 12am Friday when my son was born. The *pain* wasn't bad at all, I was just tired! There wasn't anything "remarkable" about the pregnancy, labor or birth. So for me the feelings were intense, very manageable and not painful.

I've had dental work, gyn procedures done without pain meds of any kind so I'm not a stranger to pain, I just HATE needles AND I'm allergic to novocaine.

I never took any birthing classes, just read a book on natural childbirth and joined the cbirth yahoo group. Not to mention a ton of research but that's not really related to labor *pain*.


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## crunchy_mama (Oct 11, 2004)

I would just like to second what Kirsten said -my experience was very similiar. I took Bradley classes, which helped as I knew what to expect and it prepared my husband- who wasn't too keen on reading all these birth books.

I went to the hospital- well I wanted to wait until contractions were 3 min apart -I kept telling dh it was time, but he didn't believe me because I wasn't writhing in pain. When I got out of the birth pool he could tell I was more serious- I completely recommend one- I bought a kiddie pool- the best $40 I spent. I had my doula come to my house and check me, just to be sure I didn't want to go to the hospital unless I was a 6. I was about at a 7 when she checked. Started transition in the car- rode with my knees in the floorboard head on the seat. It was funny when I got to the hospital to check in there was another girl already there in labor. They came to get her first , but she told them to take me first as I was in full blown transition and vocalizing through contractions- she wasn't even acting like anything was happening. I was an 8-9 when the nurse checked. This to me was almost perfect timing. Although I had hoped to be at the pushing stage when I arrived- however I didn't have to wait long.

Anyway, sorry for the long story. But you need to decide how long you want to be there at the hospital. I wanted to wait as long as possible- secretly hoped I would *accidently* have him at home- my doula had had 3 homebirths and is training to be a nurse. I had heard or read somewhere that when contractions were aobut 3 min apart you are at or close to transition- so that is what I went by.

The best advice I can give is LISTEN TO YOUR BODY. I had always read stories about women walking around during 1st stage labor. I even called my Bradley teacher and that is what she suggested. However, I didn't feel like walking- I was exhausted and wanted to try to rest. I am so glad I did as by the time I made it to the end of labor I almost said yes to the vacuum- I was soooo tired hadn't slept in 2 weeks developed this awful rash(PUPPPS). The only thing I was yelling at the end of labor was I WANT A NAP!! Anyway, listen to your body. Get yourself familiar with different relaxtion positions, pushing positions and see what works for your body when in labor!

You can do it!!


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## lizabird (Jan 19, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pickle it*
I had more pain the next morning than through the whole labor and birth.

:LOL Me too!

Okay, you also asked about when to go to the hospital. My childbirth instructor said to pretty much labor at home until you just couldn't stand it any more. That's pretty much what we did. When I felt like moaning through some contractions, I thought, gee, maybe it's time to get my butt into the car and get to the birth center. I am glad we didn't go any earlier, it was very easy to labor at home, move around, eat, drink, do whatever I felt like doing. Transition in the car was no picnic, but I would still do it again exactly the same. The less time you spend at the hospital, the less time they have to make decisions for you and try to intervene









-lizabird


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## wendy1221 (Feb 9, 2004)

Oh yeah, when to go to the hospital. With my first, I wasn't sure. My doc said when the contrax had been 4 min apart for at least 2 hours. I had been in labor exactly 2 hours when I called her at midnight. My contrax had started at 5 and were at 3 when I called. My OB was very Bradley friendly (she recommended Bradley to all of her patients.) She asked how I was feeling and I said "I changed my mind. I don't want to have a baby yet. Can you make it stop?" She told me it was time to go to the hospital. I was only 2 when we got there, so they almost didn't admit me, but they looked at the contraction monitor and said they thought I should stay. I don't know what the heck those things measure or how accurate they are, but I've never had a contraction that didn't max out the litle chart thingy. I was pushing at 2:00, less than 2 hours later.

My second, I went to the hospital when my hot water heater ran out of water. I was at 9 when we got there. About an hour and a half after my first contraction woke me up. They were VERY intense and VERY close together. More so than my first even.


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## amyjeans (Jul 27, 2004)

some adjectives that come to mind about labor:

powerful
intense
all consuming
beautiful
magical
other-worldly
awesome

I birthed our 2nd at home unassisted also.
Can't say there was any pain, because I believe pain to be a result of injury or illness.
Neither of those applied to me.
I think most opinions of labor as being painful, I have found, are more or less influenced by outside forces (such as doctors, nurses, friends and family) that can convince someone to expect pain.
And one's own personal and emotional feelings towards pain effect it as well.
If you think it will hurt, it probably will.
My personal experience with my last birth, I was prepared for the intensity of labor, and therefore managed it pretty well. I was NOT prepared for the intensity (which was identical to labor) of the afterbirth, postpardum period, and was really not enjoying it- or coping as well as I could have!


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## philomom (Sep 12, 2004)

For me it was like a bad period. As soon as it was very bad, it was time to push. Pushing is the feeling of skin stretching to its max. Not horrible, but indescribable. I got up from having a baby each time thinking "here's a sport I can really do."

I hope it goes well for you.


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## huggerwocky (Jun 21, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *clavicula*
Hello, huggerwocky, would you like to go into details? Did you labor at home or hospital? What had happened to you exactly?

I only went to the hospital when I had contractions every 3 minutes, my daughter was born just 1,5 hours after that.I suppose i labored mostly at home but then I can't say for how long since I slept
 








So I was really referring to the last hour, everything before that was really ok.


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## mwherbs (Oct 24, 2004)

huggerwocky...
I think that fast labors are more instense and you don't have as much breathing time or really any time to get your bearings-- #2 was born in 1 hr and 1/2 of that was spent driving in the car---getting to the hospital was a blurr....


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## guest9969 (Apr 16, 2004)

I did hypnobirthing which helped *a lot* but I did experience pain. Some people say that they don't but *I* did not have that experience. I did have an amazingly short labor (2 hours) so, overall, I was very pleased with the experience.

I do think genetics play a role too. Do you have sisters? If you do, I would ask them about their labors. My labor was very similar to both of my sisters labors. (There are 11 labors between us).

Best wishes with your birth.


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## applejuice (Oct 8, 2002)

After two posterior deliveries, one with a deflected head and asynclitism, I can tell you that labor is . . .

*PAIN!* . . .

unbelieveable pain, but you can do it - a woman's body is built for labor and delivery...with a healthy body, a healthy attitude and lots of natural endorphins, you can do it, and recover well enough to start the next adventure and position in your life, to care for your newborn child.

I ate well, exercised much which included much aerobic activity for my heart, lungs and circulatory system which helped my endurance which included bicycling, swimming, jogging, walking, and still labor was still extremely long and painful.

My next two deliveries were easy. I earned them.


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## MamaHippo (Dec 4, 2004)

My water broke w/o contractions, so i was induced. The pain was like nothing i have ever felt, and i had severe appendicitis as a teen. This was like that times 1000000. I went natural up until my c-section, so i felt everything. Ive told my 10-yr old sister, when she asked about labor, and told her the pain is incredible but it wont matter because of the incredible love you have for this unseen child. i did Lamaze, and that was the biggest help - the breathing, with the "Ah-heee, ah-heee, ah-heee, ah-HOOOO" during the biggest contractions. Thats what got me through up until the emerg. c-section.

And yes, i would do it all again in a heartbeat. As soon as i saw my baby, every memory of the pain melted away.


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## Full Heart (Apr 27, 2004)

I have had easy labors where just relaxing got me through and I have had labors where I wanted to die. No amount of relaxing or counter pressure or water or heat or anything helped. Its different each time and for each women.

My 2 1/2 hour labor was the easiest. I felt no pain except the last 30 min. I laid on the bed during contractions and moaned through them. They felt like an orgasm going away. Really wonderful. The last 30 min were totally intense. I went from 7 to 10 in 1 contraction. My midwife checked me cause I was pushy, she said I was a 7. Had 1 contraction felt my cervix disappear and really had to push. Mw told me not to because she had just checked me. So the pain of the head going down my vagina was awful. Once my midwife checked me again said I could push it wasn't painful anymore.

Then I have had 2 labors which were painful to the point where I seriously wanted to die. Both were abnormal labors. One of them I was dehydrated from castor oil I had taken, it was a 5 hour labor thankfully. I was sure I was in for another one like the one I transfered for. The other I transfered to the hospital for an epidural after 24 hours of labor at 7 cms. It was another 12 before I had dd. So neither was in the normal realm.

My other 2 labors were totally manageable, normal labors, 4 and 5 hours long. My only complaint was that with those 2 I was really really tired and sleeping between contractions. I couldn't keep my eyes open.

Honestly even after my really painful 5 hour labor I knew I had done it and therefore could do it again. I realize that each time I have a baby and although the possibility of that pain scares the crap out of me I know I can do it. I prefer an easy labor of course :LOL but I can do it and its worth it. This time I am hoping for another labor like my 2 1/2 hour one. But listening to my body and pushing when I feel like it!

Michelle


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## tmarina (Sep 12, 2002)

I like the quote in Birthing From Withing that says something like "it's painful. It's hard work. And you can do it." I hate talking about pain because some people have connotations to the word that do them a disservice when they associate it with labor, but I also hate to not be completely honest in terms that we can all understand. Because being prepared for it to be an awesome experience of rushes and great power is easy...but being prepared for the unknown and having the tools ahead of time to maintain an okay mental state if things are harder than expected is a big help.

My first birth was pretty easy. I had been prone to very severe menstrual cramps for years and transition never got worse than my worst menstrual cramps. Pushing was harder work than I expected, but felt better (more relieving) than transition. He was born posterior, and having the constant back labor was actually a help to me. With constant pain to deal with, I couldn't stop to think about what was happening or what the next contraction might be like.

So I cruised into my second birth feeling excited and ready for it to be even easier and faster. It was not so at all. It was harder than I could have ever imagined. The pain got unbearable in transition and my poor midwives who had been assured that I would want intimacy with dh and would like them out in the hall as much as possible, had to be convinced that I really wanted their help. Help me do something different...this was not working. I felt like I was breaking. I pushed for 2.5 hours in every position possible, and got out of the tub to try positions on the bed and birthing stool. I thought my baby would never come. By the time she was born, I felt ragged and beaten.

My third labor and birth were nearly as physically hard as my second, but with one huge difference, I planned in advance to turn my brain off, to use mantras and visualization and vocalization -- not just to try them, but to really get into them to the extent that I'd never have the chance to think "this is hard, painful, sucks, I can't..".etc. My midwives waited in another room so that they couldn't accidentally bring me out of the mental place I needed to be in. That birth was painful, hard work, long pushing, but I knew that I could do it...and that made a huge difference for me.

All the best to you on your journey to and through birth...


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## huggerwocky (Jun 21, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mwherbs*
huggerwocky...
I think that fast labors are more instense and you don't have as much breathing time or really any time to get your bearings-- #2 was born in 1 hr and 1/2 of that was spent driving in the car---getting to the hospital was a blurr....

yeah, that gives speed delivery a total new meaning :LOL


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## TCMoulton (Oct 30, 2003)

Labor hurts, there is no way around it, but while I had a hard time believing what my Mom told me over and over that you forget the pain the minute that beautiful baby is born but it is true. I remember intense pain, but it seems to fade with time a bit. It must be that initial rush of motherhood that acts as a natural pain reliever - the moment you see your child the world changes and, at least me personally, I don't remember any more pain with the delivery of the placenta or with my few internal stitches..amazing what motherhood can do for you!


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## 2+twins (Apr 20, 2004)

I've given birth twice. Each time I thought the pain was pretty bad, but I wouldn't have described it as the worst pain I could imagine. The real difference in the pain of labor vs. the pain of injury to me was that with labor the pain was just relentless and that's hard. I had back labor with my first which actually made my labor *less* painful in a way than my 2nd birth. I had constant pain in my back but it was like a more dull pain that would intensify as a contraction would hit. Then the pain would decrease, but it never went away. Feeling this pain in my back actually kept me from feeling any pain in my abdomen. It wasn't until after the baby was out that I felt my first contraction in my abdomen the way I would have expected it. With my 2nd birth I still felt some dull pain in my back (I get this way when I'm menstrual too) but the majority of the pain was in front - just like I had heard of contractions being (like a severe cramping sensation - like really bad gas pains). These were intense and extremely painful. It was like my body was being seized when they'd hit - I don't know if that makes any sense. BUT... they were only that intense b/c that labor was incredibly fast (90 minutes start to finish) and my water broke before hand so that usually makes the pain more intense. I would have preferred my longer (almost 10 hour) labor to that because, while it hurt, it was very manageable. I still managed though and I just kept telling myself in my head that I could do this - I was built for it and I could stand anything for 90 seconds. And that's how I did it. Plus I was in the water and that has always helped me a great deal. I think Bradley classes are a great way to learn about emotional signposts which tell you when you should go to the hospital. Staying home in your space as long as possible is ideal. Hopefully by the time you get to the hospital, your baby will be born very shortly thereafter.


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## valeria_vi (Nov 19, 2001)

In the Birthing From Within classes they make you do breathing exercises while holding onto ice cubes. The last class we had to dip our hands into a bucket of ice water. I understand that the pain will not be exactly the same, of course, but ... how close is that simulation to what the real thing will be like? My brain tells me it's not all that close at all, so I don't even know why I'm asking but I'm gonna post this anyway.


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## 2+twins (Apr 20, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tmarina*
My first birth was pretty easy. I had been prone to very severe menstrual cramps for years and transition never got worse than my worst menstrual cramps. Pushing was harder work than I expected, but felt better (more relieving) than transition. He was born posterior, and having the constant back labor was actually a help to me. With constant pain to deal with, I couldn't stop to think about what was happening or what the next contraction might be like.

Wow - you're the first person I've ever heard besides myself describe back labor in this way. This was *exactly* my experience and I've always described it to people in this way (who look at me as though constant pain could possibly have been a _good_ thing)!


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## Kirsten (Mar 19, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *valeria_vi*
In the Birthing From Within classes they make you do breathing exercises while holding onto ice cubes. The last class we had to dip our hands into a bucket of ice water. I understand that the pain will not be exactly the same, of course, but ... how close is that simulation to what the real thing will be like? My brain tells me it's not all that close at all.

You are right - it isn't close at all. But I assume they are trying to get you to stay relaxed during something uncomfortable. In our Bradley classes, someone squeezed your arm tightly to simulate a contraction. I think that even though it is nothing close, it is at least a tightening - which is what contractions are. The best I can describe contractions is the feeling that you get when your blood pressure is taken - slowly tightens until you think it can't get any tighter, then slowly loosens up. As soon as it is over, it is over - no lingering pain or tightness.

I really believe that the "trick" is to go completely limp. Don't fight your body. Don't tense up and think about pain. Relax and close your eyes and mantra something that will help you - words like limp, loose, relax, open. Make sure your partner knows what you like and what you don't. Two examples come to mind.

1. During practice at Bradley class one time, my dh was running his hand over my hair. Normally would be good, relaxing. But every time his hand ran over my ear, it was loud, annoying, interrupted my relaxation. I told him, showed him by doing it to him. Finding and fixing stuff like that will help him do only helpful things during labor.

2. He started out rubbing my arm, back and forth on my forearm. Too rough for relaxation - and it reminded me of revving up one of those cars that you rev up and let go on the floor. Just annoying (can you figure out I was a pita to "coach") :LOL We fine tuned it so that he lightly stroked my forearm from elbow to wrist, not back and forth - starting over near my elbow each stroke. It reminded me that the pain/tightness/stress was going down and out, down my arm and off the tips of my fingers. It was a small change but made all the difference to me.

For the OP and others who haven't had kids yet, the thing that helped me emotionally before I got to labor was to remind myself that if it was as bad as everyone says, no one would have second, third, fourth children! I reminded myself that 15 year old girls do this. My MIL was 43 when she had my dh. Women have babies in cars on bridges in traffic. Certainly I can do this! And I did - three times, happily. It will go easy or not so easy but either way, it is a finite period of time; it will end. And it will be the best day of your life.


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## Katie Bugs Mama (Feb 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *reader*
For most people, there is pain. But it's not pain like your arm has just been sawed off or anything. The pain comes and goes, and slowly builds in intensity, so you have time to get used to it.

I wish that my labor had been like that. I had back labor. Imagine 12 hours of searing pains that last for several minutes at time with breaks of only a minute or so in between. Ow.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *reader*
I won't sugar coat it. It hurts. But it was also a really empowering experience. It's pain with a purpose. The pain ends, and you get a gorgeous baby to show for it.

Still, I completely agree with this. It is empowering, and it is bearable. My best advice is to remember that every contraction, no matter how bad it might be, is one that you will never have to have again and is taking you one step closer to the wonderful goal of meeting your baby.


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## Ary99 (Jan 1, 2002)

It hurt, but as someone said earlier it's not like cutting off a limb. I labored for 10 hours then pushed for the next 4. Yes, I tried to push my baby out for 4 hours. I was so exhausted and had tried every position (I thought) but the baby's head was stuck under my pelvic bone. My doc suggested I try laying flat on my back (huh? I thought that was supposed to be the *worst* position), and it worked. I made huge progress then. I ws so grateful I avoided a c-section.

Before i gave birth I cried at every episode of A Baby Story and everytime I saw someone give birth on TV. I didn't cry when my son was born, I felt like I was in mild shock over the pain and exhaustion. I am so very glad I had my birth experience even though it was like a marathon.


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## 2+twins (Apr 20, 2004)

Ary99 - Wow, another experience that completely echos my own. I labored for about 6 hours with my first dd, then pushed for 4. Midwife had me pushing mostly on the toilet but then lying flat on my back. I had serious issues with that b/c that's the *wrong* way to do it! But she told me that sometimes that's the best way to get the baby past the pelvic bone and it worked! It also felt MUCH better than other positions I tried. AND, I also cried (and still do) at every TV birth I see but didn't for my own kid's births. I always feel sad about that, but after all that work it really was more of a feeling of relief. Glad to know that I'm not alone.


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## wendy1221 (Feb 9, 2004)

I'm taking my MW's HB class right now and when we talked about pushing, she mentioned the lying on the back thing for stuck babies. Apparently it works sometimes! Amazing, isn't it? You're so lucky to have a doc willin to work w/ you! I switched docs when I was about 34 weeks w/ my first when I found out the practice wouldn't allow women to push on their own for more than 2 hours. Good thing, too, cuz I pushed for 2.5!


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## wendy1221 (Feb 9, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mwherbs*
huggerwocky...
I think that fast labors are more instense and you don't have as much breathing time or really any time to get your bearings-- #2 was born in 1 hr and 1/2 of that was spent driving in the car---getting to the hospital was a blurr....

Yeah, I agree w/ that! I started pushing after 4 hours of labor w/ my first and I was NOT OK w/ labor! I was TERRIFIED and out of control. Until my doc got to the hospital and told me I was having a fast labor. Duh! I just remember thinking there was NO WAY I was going to be able to do it for hours and hours! And I wouldn't have been able to. My contractions were too close together and too intense fo rme to handle well. I was begging for drugs, but the nurses were sticking to my birthplan and waiting for my doc. As soon as my doc told me I'd be puahing soon, I was fine. LOL!

W/ my second, they were even closer together and MORE intense! But I handled them really well, I must say. Mainly because I knew exactly what was going on and I knew I was having another fast labor. Made it much more bearable to know it was going to be over quickly. I was at 9cm 1.5 hours after starting labor when we got to the hospital. I did end up w/ an epidural b/c I kept contracting like I was in transition (over a min long, 2 min or so apart), but didn't dialate the rest of the way (and did not feel like pushing at all). A lot of things were not going my way that night and I am sure now that I was subconsciously fighting labor. After about 4 hours of that, I finally got the epidural and almost immediately dialated to 9.







I think the defeat of giving in and having the drugs made me slump and give up whatever fight I was giving and relax enough for my body to finish its job. KWIM?


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## mandalamama (Sep 1, 2004)

i haven't yet read the entire thread, so this may already have been mentioned, but i strongly recommend the book "Birthing From Within" for any mama.

i think i may be a masochist ... i LOVED labor! i knew it was going to be a pain unlike i'd ever felt before, but i also was so psyched that it would be pain that would bring my daughter into my arms. i mean, who wouldn't go through a heaven and earth of pain just to finally meet that precious little being that's been squiggling in their tummy?







i knew i couldn't die from pain. i knew that women were birthing all over the earth while i was, we were all in it together. towards the end of the pregancy, i felt like i was standing in line at an amusement park to ride the biggest, baddest rollercoaster! scared, but excited, too. and sure enough, labor was just like riding a HUGE rollercoaster, whoooosh here comes a surge, WOW that's a big hill, whoaaaaa down the other side! i just went along for the ride.

one thing that helped me was the mindest of not remembering the last surge, and not anticipating the next one. i just concentrated on what was happening in the moment. it was so beautiful, i felt like my daughter and i were dancing together, locked into a primal rhythm. i very much regret that i needed a c-birth and didn't get to experience the "ring of fire" because after that, i would have experienced what i have heard is the most beautiful sensation ever, the baby sliding out.

ETA: my active labor was 30 hours total. i went into transition 3 or 4 times, my daughter was "bouncing" down into the birth canal and then back up again on her short, wrapped cord. i got lost in Laborland, i didn't know what hour it was, or when i was in transition. having two doulas was surely what helped me the most. towards the end i started tensing because my fibromyalgia and arthritis was acting up and it was hurting worse than the surges ... they'd remind me to not tense against the pain by just saying "ragdoll." to this day, if i'm in pain, i say "ragdoll" to myself and go limp, it works well.

when i knew i needed a cesarean, then it HURT. i mean, i tensed against every surge and it was like a nightmare. i suddenly hated my body (i didn't know why she wasn't descending at the time) so i hated the pain, i knew it wasn't productive and it was horrific.

i hope this helps. i mean, knowing from my story and other mama's stories that how you perceive pain affects your labor. enjoy your ride!! {{{{{hugs mama}}}}}


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## onlyboys (Feb 12, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *valeria_vi*
In the Birthing From Within classes they make you do breathing exercises while holding onto ice cubes. The last class we had to dip our hands into a bucket of ice water. I understand that the pain will not be exactly the same, of course, but ... how close is that simulation to what the real thing will be like? My brain tells me it's not all that close at all, so I don't even know why I'm asking but I'm gonna post this anyway.

My husband and I did this with our 2nd (1st together) and it really was helpful. It's uncomfortable to purposely place yourself into pain's way. Essentially, that's what you do--inflict discomfort upon yourself in order that you figure out how you will respond, and your partner can see you responding and see what it looks like for you to be in pain.

Does it feel like labor? Sorta. Contractions do not feel like having your hand submerged in ice water, but you do have the sensation, especially at the end where you want to run, pull your hand out and go home and have some tea. In the bucket, you *can* pull your hand out, but in labor, you cannot. You're there for the long haul to have a baby. Having you partner recognize that you're getting to the pack up and head home stage really is helpful because then s/he can pull you back to earth--ground you.

Labor is doable. Period. It's hard work-terribly hard work, the hardest you will ever do. It can be scary and exciting in the same breath and that sometimes throws us off our game a bit. BUT, it's amazing and spiritual and beautiful, too.

Good luck to you!


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## Messac888 (Jan 24, 2005)

Labor was most definitely intense. It's hard to describe it as pain because, although it hurt, it was different than anything else I;d ever felt. My ds was a hospital, pitocin-induced birth that led me to get an epidural. The whole experience in the hospital was so BS I opted for a homebirth the second time around- and cherish the experience.

Transition actually felt hardest, but try and get into a comfy position and stay there as long as you possibly can!!! I was laying on my right side since I was so tired (my water broke at 2:15 am and labor started 10 minutes later). Instead of tightening my stomach every time a contraction hit (which was my initial automatic response) I began squeezing my dh's hand, the midwife's hand, the assistant's hand, whoever was available at that time, and I pushed their hand into the mattress so's not to hurt them too badly.







But it helped a lot. I eventually stopped dilating (at 9cm, grrrr) so I climbed back into the tub and that's when labor got to the most intense part- and I got very vocal about it.

Not vocal in the cursing-at-anyone-in-your-presence sense, but vocal as in moaning. At first I was a little bit self-conscious, but after 2 contractions passed and the vocalization was making them bearable, I kept it up- and about 20 minutes later had pushing urges, and three pushes later my dd was born.









Totally worth it to have an unmedicated birth- and a few days later it deosn't seem too bad at all! (Course, my after-birth pains were so intense I'd literally have to kneel wherever I was and pant through them like I was in labor all over again. I'd have liked an epidural for those! lol)

Anyway, good luck. Do what you know in your heart is best for you!


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## WinterBaby (Oct 24, 2002)

A lot of women have mentioned how they forget the pain.. here's my goofiness on that. I don't forget it per se.. I mean, rationally I recall pretty clearly it hurt, but my *body* doesn't seem to remember it. Some hurts I can recall with a cringing clarity if I focus. If I close my eyes and recall very strongly the bee sting I got on my hand 2 falls ago, I can almost *feel* it there with a real shudder. If I remember acutely the painful pap smear given to me like 6 years ago by a PA, I will physically cringe. I can think about stubbing my big toe last week and I'll move to hold it. But I just can't summon up the imaginary echo of contraction pain (from a not-traumatic labor.) Even what I thought was the best feeling - dd finally arriving in an amazing rush, I remember more that it was amazing than I can re-feel the experience. My rational mind doesn't forget... something at some more physical level for me seems to forget, lol. Weird, huh?


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## meowee (Jul 8, 2004)

I have had four births.

1 was not that bad.
2 were bad.
1 was hellish and devastatingly painful.

I have a pretty good threshold for pain. About forgeting the pain-- I did forget the pain for the not so bad/ bad hree, but I will never, ever forget the pain of the very difficult birth.


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## mrzmeg (Jul 16, 2002)

Quote:

A lot of women have mentioned how they forget the pain.. here's my goofiness on that. I don't forget it per se.. I mean, rationally I recall pretty clearly it hurt, but my *body* doesn't seem to remember it.
That's how it is for me. I've read that there are hormones active postpartum that actually make you forget the physical sensation of labor pain, though you can still recall it intellectually. I think that Meredith Small discusses them in 'Our Babies, Ourselves'. I've read that these 'forgetting hormones' are credited with the continued survival of humanity, lol.


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## AugustineM (Mar 21, 2005)

I know that I'm one woman in a million, or maybe a thousand, but labor was not that painful for me. I didn't really know I was in labor.... I showed up at my midwife 8 cm dialated and saying, "I think I'm in labor." She checked my cervix and was like, "GIRL you are way in labor!!" And my baby was a footling breech, but that's another story. I got completely dialated without much pain. I practiced relaxation techniques daily throughout my pregnancy and focused daily on relaxing my cervix. I think that must have helped! Or as my midwife said, I could just be a labor pro!


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## Mama2Mila (Jun 27, 2002)

When my labor started with DD, 3 years ago, I started fairly slowly for the first hour (it hurt so little we even went grocery shopping). After the first hour the contractions got more intense (like really bad mentrual cramps) and I went into the tub at home. That helped me relax.
After another hour my contractions were so long and so close that we went straight to the hospital. I was in very intense breath-taking pain, couldn't really talk, sit etc. anything. I was 2 centimeters at the time. Once I got into the tub in the hospital it got better but picked up again quite quickly and I progressed from 2 to 10 centimeters in just under 90 mins. The pain was more intense than anything I have ever experienced. I was very close to giving up and asking for pain medication when the nurse told me I should get up if I could and start pushing. That was the turning point. Once I started pushing (25 mins. standing, bearing down...then another 20 mins. semi-upright sitting on the edge of the bed) the pain was almost gone. I remember pressure etc. but nothing compared to the contractions before. i was well enought to ask for ice water (which was given to me), joke with my Dr. and the nurses and enjoy seeing my DD coming out (in a mirror)...

So...after all this rambling...I have to say, even though it was the most painful experience ever I am very much looking forward to giving birth to my son this coming September. I felt so strong after having gone through labor like I've never felt before. I long to have that feeling again.

Alex

PS: after reading through some of the other answer I want to second, third, fourth the book "Birthing From Within" and the ice-cube method. I did that in prepartion for my DD's birth and will practice again this time. What has also helped me very much was the mantra "It's pain with a purpose, not scary pain" when the contractions were peaking. I have dealt with panic-disorder in the past and can proudly say today that I haven't felt any fear/panic at all during my 6-hour labor inspite of all the unusal body-sensations, pain etc.


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## clavicula (Apr 10, 2005)

Well, this pitocin-induced method seems like hell for me! WHY are they doing that? Maybe it makes contractions stronger but this is an abnormal way!


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## Thmom (May 4, 2004)

really firmly believe that it has soo much to do with your state of mind...
are you expecting it to hurt, but know that you can over come anything put in front of you?
are you expecting to be able to get through it or thinking that you'll "try" but if you need it you can get meds?
are you hopeing nothing goes wrong or do you 'know' everything is okay to be fine?

kwim... I really think my first birth was great because I wouldn't accept the horror stories told to me by everyone I knew. I read all the natural birth stories I could find and convinced myself that I *was* going to have a good birth, and that I *could* handle anything my body went through.
Yes the contractions were intense but I was prepared to handle it. I didn't have classes, I didn't practice anything (though as a teen I had been trained in relaxation and visual techniques) I really think that my state of mind was the pivitol point that made the difference between having a wonderful, easy first birth and having a hard, difficult labor.


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## loraxc (Aug 14, 2003)

Forgive me; I know this isn't popular. But I don't really buy the "pain is a state of mind" thing. I was not (anywhere in my conscious mind, anyway) afraid to give birth. I was actually really excited. I had take Bradley and felt really prepared. My husband is amazing; my midwives were good. I consider myself to have a fairly high pain threshold.

The first 10-11 hours weren't so bad. Painful, but I was focused and okay. It really went downhill after that, though--I guess it was when I hit active labor (where I stalled at 4-5 cm for 10 hours). Definitely the worst pain I've ever been in in my life--no COMPARISON to anything else I've ever experienced. I had back labor (posterior baby didn't turn till I was pushing) so I'm sure that's part of it, but...I read a description of back labor before I gave birth that said it was like "having a steel rod go through your spine every 3 minutes." OH COME ON, I thought, it can't be that bad. Joke was on me. It was that bad. I also described it as being like being hit in the back with a baseball bat over and over again.

I felt absolutely no pain in my abdomen, cervix, or anywhere else but the small of my back. The pain bore no resemblance to menstrual cramps, either. It was fascinating for me to experience the post-birth contractions in my abdomen. They felt totally different, and didn't hurt at ALL in comparison.

FWIW, I was transferred to the hospital from a birthing center at 4-5 cm after 24 hours of labor with broken waters--I was GBS positive and outside the BC's protocol. I got Pitocin and, at my midwife's urging, accepted the epidural. My daughter was born 10 hours later after 2 hours of pushing. Yes, it took 8 more hours to dilate 5 more cm, even with Pit ramped up very high. I don't know if my experience is very generalizable as my birth seems to have been somewhat outside the norm.

I am clinging to the beliefe that back labor is very different than labor with a properly positioned baby, because I want to do this natural for #2. But I absolutely fear another labor like that one. It was so long. It hurt so much.


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## wendy1221 (Feb 9, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *loraxc*
Forgive me; I know this isn't popular. But I don't really buy the "pain is a state of mind" thing. I was not (anywhere in my conscious mind, anyway) afraid to give birth. I was actually really excited. I had take Bradley and felt really prepared. My husband is amazing; my midwives were good. I consider myself to have a fairly high pain threshold.

The first 10-11 hours weren't so bad. Painful, but I was focused and okay. It really went downhill after that, though--I guess it was when I hit active labor (where I stalled at 4-5 cm for 10 hours). Definitely the worst pain I've ever been in in my life--no COMPARISON to anything else I've ever experienced. I had back labor (posterior baby didn't turn till I was pushing) so I'm sure that's part of it, but...I read a description of back labor before I gave birth that said it was like "having a steel rod go through your spine every 3 minutes." OH COME ON, I thought, it can't be that bad. Joke was on me. It was that bad. I also described it as being like being hit in the back with a baseball bat over and over again.

I felt absolutely no pain in my abdomen, cervix, or anywhere else but the small of my back. The pain bore no resemblance to menstrual cramps, either. It was fascinating for me to experience the post-birth contractions in my abdomen. They felt totally different, and didn't hurt at ALL in comparison.

FWIW, I was transferred to the hospital from a birthing center at 4-5 cm after 24 hours of labor with broken waters--I was GBS positive and outside the BC's protocol. I got Pitocin and, at my midwife's urging, accepted the epidural. My daughter was born 10 hours later after 2 hours of pushing. Yes, it took 8 more hours to dilate 5 more cm, even with Pit ramped up very high. I don't know if my experience is very generalizable as my birth seems to have been somewhat outside the norm.

I am clinging to the beliefe that back labor is very different than labor with a properly positioned baby, because I want to do this natural for #2. But I absolutely fear another labor like that one. It was so long. It hurt so much.

My first was posterior and my 2nd I think turned at the last minute b/c I had realy bad back labor with him. Neither of my labors was nearly as bad as what you describe. You must have had something else going on there, IMO. I hope your next labor is more normal.


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## wasabi (Oct 12, 2004)

It really is so individual. I've just given birth for the fourth time and having done that I feel like it's not just individual but also every labor can be very different too. My first two I ended up at the hospital waaay too soon and had all sorts of interventions and eventually ended up with epidurals both times. With #1 it was a trade-off to buy time to avoid a c-section. With #2 it was because I was mentally and physically exhausted after being stuck at 8cm for more than 4 hours with pit going full steam the whole time. I gave birth 1.5 hours later.

#3 I took Bradley classes and did have a natural birth. Yes it was painful but totally manageable until right around transition which was also when we went to the hospital. The ride was about the worst 45 minutes of my life. Ouch! Pushing was also way more painful than I expected in particular once she was crowning I could not believe the intensity of the ring of fire. So I thought I was really prepared for this birth. I did resolve to be upright more for this labor to try to cut down on the time. #3 still took 13.5 hours which is hardly fast for a third birth. Well this labor was much faster and it was not a gradual building. I went from thinking ok I think I may be in early labor to in almost unmanageable pain in very short order. I almost put off going to the hospital because it hadn't been long enough but when I got there I was 9cm and +1 station. The baby was at least partially posterior and I had tons of very painful pressure in both my pelvis and my back. I needed almost constant counter pressure on my back just to survive each contraction. The only position I could even remotely tolerate was being on my hands and knees. I pushed that way too and still needed the counterpressure. The pushing was even more painful than last time but I think that was because I had her on my perineum after like two pushes and then spent the next 15 minutes getting her the rest of the way out whereas with #3 it was a more gradual process over 20 minutes. Once I had her crowning quite honestly I can't even describe the sensation. But weirdly it did almost feel good to push through it. I just had to get her out. So yeah it hurts. Not going to lie about that. Even if you're prepared. Even if you have a doula and great support. Even if you trust your body and caregiver you may still have a lot of pain. But as several others have mentioned it is a purposeful pain. In some way the pain from getting a hep lock hurt much worse than my contrax because it was so pointless and bothersome. It is something you can get through though. I just took it one contrax at a time and knew I'd have a baby at the end.

good luck!


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## USAmma (Nov 29, 2001)

Pain is so individual, both with your body's pain receptors, and with your emotional response to pain.

I've had some people tell me that labor was like bad cramps. I've had others tell me it was torture.

My own labors were intense right from the start, it took over my body and I was fighting it. I did not labor naturally through either birth (got epidurals 1/2 way through) but I was told that my cx were like transitional cx from start to finish, very intense and on top of each other. I have abuse in my past and I think I felt them more than the average person might. I am super sensitive to physical pain b/c of my past, and that pain turns into fear.


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