# What was your first thought on circumcision?



## smeep (May 12, 2006)

What was the first thought you had on circumcision when you found out you were pregnant and/or having a boy (whenever you thought about it first)?


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## smeep (May 12, 2006)

Before I found out I was having a boy my first thought was that I would (since "everyone else was and they seemed just fine") but I wanted to research it since it was a big decision to make without anything to back it up. My brothers were intact but died before I was born and I didn't even know they were intact until I brought up circumcision with my parents (they were against it). My dad was circ'd and the guys I'd been with were so I figured it was "normal." In fact, it turned out one of my ex's was, in fact, intact! I never noticed the difference. I found out when we were discussing it (he also was expecting a baby boy with his girlfriend). After doing a bit of research everything I read said it was equal either way so I figured I'd leave the decision up to DS when he was older but I wasn't too pleased and wanted some big confirmation one way or the other...then I found MDC and am pleased to say DS is intact and so will all my future babies.


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## MyBoysBlue (Apr 27, 2007)

I thought Cirucumcision was something only certian religious groups did and occasionally done for medical reasons. It was not something I even contimplated doing.


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## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

I never even considered circumcision because to me, intact was always what was normal. My brother's are not circ'd and neither is DH, so it was not an issue I gave much thought to. My mom was always anti-circ so that helped form my opinion early on.


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## onelilguysmommy (May 11, 2005)

when i found out i was pregnant with my first it was kinda a







thing, everyone i knew did it and i didnt see a reason not to...then ironically on a rather mainstream site i found the circ board and researched there and here and decided not to


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## ilovebabies (Jun 7, 2008)

I put "other" because I didn't really think it was an option! It was just something that boys had to have done. Dh and I never even considered *not* circ'ing. That would have been "weird" and "wrong". To us it was just something that all baby boys had to go through, even though it was unpleasant (like getting the PKU or something). We felt the same about vaccines. I was only 22 when my first was born (a son). Totally mainstream, absolutely clueless. If I had *ANY* idea what my son was really going through when he was circ'd and that I actually had a choice and it was okay not to, I wouldn't have. This was back in 1993. I regret it terribly, but I don't beat myself up over it. I know differently now and so make different choices.


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## milkmamamerina (Sep 29, 2008)

I wanted to let my husband decide, but I wanted him to decide to leave my son intact!







I did give him the final say and then presented him with loads of info. In the end, my son was having such a hard time with nursing during the first week that my husband agreed it was not wise to give him another hurdle.

Thank goodness our hospital doesn't circumcise or my poor baby probably would have been cut


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## St. Margaret (May 19, 2006)

We didn't know what we were having but we kind of figured we would circ b/c DH is and I thought everyone did... but I saw this forum and finally worked up the courage to look... and of course before long I was staunchly against it. I was all worked up to convince DH to not do it and he was right on board with me w/o my even presenting the research







.


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## jess_paez (Jul 5, 2008)

i remember my now hubby telling me that he was intact. this was before i had you know, "seen it". I was not wierded out at all, but was curious as to how it looked. I had never seen one.







Anyhow, he seemed kind of embarrassed to tell me about it. I guess he had heard of women saying things. I doubt any of those women had ever seen one anyways. So, I thought why do that to our son (when we were TTC later). Why allow him to be embarrassed? I thought a lot about it and when hubby told me that you should NOT retract your sons penis to clean it and that it would retract on it's own later in life I was sold.For some reason at the time I was worried about cleanliness with a baby. You know..the diaper and skin fold deal. We agreed not to circ. And I'm so glad we came to that conclusion!!!!! We ended up having a girl, but for the future.....if we have a boy-he will remain intact.


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## minkajane (Jun 5, 2005)

I never thought about it, honestly. I only remember thinking about it once before trying to conceive DS, when I heard that somebody I knew might have been intact. "Oh really? Huh, that's unusual." That was it. It never crossed my mind again till I came across the topic in "Having a Baby Naturally" and I told XH that I didn't think we should have the baby circumcised if it was a boy and gave him a couple of quick reasons. His response was "Oh, ok." End of discussion.

The rabid anti-circ attitude I have now developed over the next couple of years and really blossomed when I saw my beautiful, perfect DS and realized that the doctors wanted to take him out of my arms, strap him to a board, and start cutting. *shudder*


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## Bea (Apr 6, 2008)

It was a non thought other than to say 'NO!' if the subject was brought up by medical personnel.

My husband is an American, I'm not and RIC is akin to to me as recommending I tattoo "Mommy's little cutie' on my sons forehead at birth or any time thereafter.

Long before we were married never mind expecting our son, my husband was of the same mind.

BTW, our dogs wont have their tails docked either







That's how the conversation originally evolved when we were dating


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## mntnmom (Sep 21, 2006)

The AAP didn't even have a position on it, so I figuered why do it if there's no clear benefit. Then my DH explained to me what circ is, and I said no way! SO glad we didn't have to fight on that one. We now have 2 intact boys.


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## beru (Nov 19, 2007)

I didn't want to do it. But I actually think it's strange that I didn't want to. All my family were circumcised. Every boy I babysat, every man I was intimate with-all circumcised. I am not sure how I escaped the cultural brainwashing. When I got pregnant, circumcision came up in the baby books and I just thought, of course I am not cutting off a normal body part. I didn't even consider the "risks and benefits". The same way I wouldn't consider the risks and benefits of removing my children's toenails.

I have tried to think back on why I thought this way and the only thing I can think of is that I saw an anticircumcision student group tabling once. I really didn't think it made an impression on me but it must have. I didn't care about it then because I was so far from children. But I looked at one pamphlet and it just seemed like common sense to leave your kid intact. I don't remember it being some revelation.

Anyway, it makes me very hopeful that intactivism can make a real difference. I often wonder if intact information is more "effective" when people are far from having children as I was. You're just learning info that you don't have to think about how it impacts you. You don't have to feel defensive because you have considered it as an option, etc.

Oh, and I did research it, soley to collect ammunition against my super pro-circ FIL. It worked. The facts persuaded him somewhat even though he still thinks circing is a reasonable option. At least he doesn't think my DS's foreskin is going to fall off someday or something. I think my MIL probably thinks it will, however. She once asked me if my son's potty training problems were due to him having a foreskin...weird.


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## 3pink1blue (Jun 23, 2008)

i didn't want to, because i didn't want to hurt my baby. but i had no idea all the other reasons to leave a child intact. I ended up having 3 girls so it was a moot point, but by the time DS came along i had researched more and was 100% against circ. My DH was not convinced but he was pretty easy to convert. We just found out we are expecting agian and regrdless of gender this child will be left intact.


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## rmzbm (Jul 8, 2005)

My FIRST thought was "I don't want to hurt my little boy!" And that was replaced with "...but it's medically needed." (Hu?







) So we did it with both. And I learned something about listening to my inner voice. Too late it would turn out but lesson learned nontheless.


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## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

I first heard of circ in my early teens didnt know exactly what was done but knew it had to do with cutting on the penis. I immediatly thought no way would I do that to a baby.


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## RJones1204 (Jan 28, 2009)

My very first thought (lasted a few weeks at most after we learned the gender) was "like father, like son". In other words, since DH was DS would be circed also. But as I started to think things through, I realized how painful it could and probably would be. That was my deciding factor right then and there. Also I had a hard time BFing my DD (first born) and I didn't want to hinder anything with DS. But then months after he was born I learned all the facts and all the functions of the foreskin. So I know I made the best choice. I am proud of me and DH for the choice we made. I am also very proud that DH never pushed the issue. To him our little boy was perfect and he loved him as he was.


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## JamieB (Apr 1, 2008)

I put that I wanted to do it because I did, but DH didn't.

This is an exact quote from me while I was pregnant:
"I wish DH wanted to have this baby circumcised because it's so much cleaner and easier to take care of"







Ugh. I didn't even know whether or not Dh was intact, I had to ask him. So I never did any research because DH didn't want it done anyway. Boy am I thankful now!


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## In Exile (Jan 12, 2007)

I said to my husband "over my dead body, never!" and I am not embellishing this.

I never ever would have done this to a child. There was not a single doubt on my mind, ever. (I'm European, so that might be an explanation)

If my husband ever truly wanted that- though luck, would have never happened.

Circumcision is one of the most barbaric things mankind ever came up with and it is the one thing I will never miss back in Europe- you don't really have to wonder whether a friend of your's mutilated a child, it is done pretty much only in religious circles or after bad medical advice. I never thought about it back in Europe and was HORRIFIED here.


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## doctormom (Nov 11, 2005)

Not MY child, no one is doing that to MY baby!

I had already developed a strong dislike for circ by that point in my training. As a newly minted intern, I was required to do the circs on all the babies we delivered. The more I did, the more horrified I was at the trauma of it, and the more actively I began persuading parents to leave their sons intact. By the time I got pregnant, I was pretty good at talking people out of it - and NC Medicaid dropped circ coverage around that time, so fortunately, the demand for them virtually disappeared and I had totally stopped doing them. I am still grieving the babies I injured. I didn't know better at the time, but that doesn't heal them or undo the damage.









Even given my overall distaste for the barbaric nature of the procedure, I was surprised at how strongly my maternal instinct kicked in to protect my child _at all costs_. I refused to let him be taken to the nursery because they put him on the "circ list" by mistake and I was scared to death they would cut him without permission.


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## *Erin* (Mar 18, 2002)

when i first learned about it and what it was, as a tween,i thought it was beyond barbaric, and couldnt believe anyone would do it to their baby. i was horrified it even existed, and couldnt fathom how it was even legal. (still can't)

i was adamently against it ever being done to my son. when he was born i wouldnt leave him in the nursery alone but for a moment because i was terrified they would "mess up" and circ him-one morning while we were in the nursery i was privy to several babies being circed-i cried while i was nursing him and rocking him. i will never in my life forget the sounds of those poor babies. and the nurses were so nonchalant. it chilled me to my marrow. it was nightmarish. i wanted to scream.


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## Toolip (Mar 7, 2008)

When I was a teenager (and first learned about circ) I hoped that I would have girls so I wouldn't have to deal with the issue at all. I think I felt it was wrong but was also feeling the pressure from society.


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## Belia (Dec 22, 2007)

At first I assumed we would do it... everyone in my family is circ'd... I learned that's "normal" for boys.

But joining MDC when I was TTC made me pick up on the idea that there's more to it than that. I'll admit, though.... I was kind of hoping for a girl so that I wouldn't have to make the decision. That way I could say "Oh, I would never do that" without actually having to DO it. (Kind of like when DH said "Oh, I would go through labor if I could." Yeah, sure you would.







Easy to say when it's impossible, KWIM?)

When we found out we were having a boy I (grudgingly) sat down one night and went through the CAC forum... I think I made it about 15 minutes. I took one look at the pictures of the boards that they strap the babies to and said "NO FREAKIN' WAY ARE THEY STRAPPING MY KID TO THAT THING." And that was the end of that! I never even clicked on the video... although I would have if I was still undecided.

My mom says we did the wrong thing. So does my FIL- he's intact and he wanted us to circ. He says he's had problems for years because of it.







I refuse to talk to my FIL about his penis.

Whenever anyone asks why we didn't or won't do it, all I say is "Have you ever seen what they do during a circumcision?" End of discussion.


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## Indigomama (Dec 26, 2001)

I couldn't imagine not circing.. and my dh was like no way... every boy deserves every inch he can get.

He was so adamant for such a silly reason..but his dad was all not circ'd...









Anyhoo... i then proceeded to research assuming we would.. but the data spoke for itself.


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## KMK_Mama (Jan 29, 2006)

When I got pregnant with my 1st and 2nd, I didn't really know what it entailed but everyone I knew circumcised. I had never heard of anyone NOT doing it, so I figured it must not be too bad. I tried looking it up in 2002 and 2003 but unfortunately never came across any ANTI-CIRC info online. It's a good thing I had 2 girls first because they probably would have been circ'd out of ignorance. When I got pregnant with my son in 2005 I looked it up again and within just a few minutes I realized how horrifying it was and decided THAT would never happen to a little boy of mine! DH agreed immediately and now we have an intact, perfect, little boy.









So I guess you could say I had enough doubt in it to look it up (I must have known deep down it was wrong) and then my research confirmed it.


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## mamato2boys (Nov 22, 2002)

When I was PG with my first, 12 years ago







I never considered doing it. I had no idea what the procedure involved and I had no prior experience with intact penises but it just seemed wrong to remove a part of my newborn's body after spending so many months doing all I could to care for him in utero. My partner was fine with this POV. We never did any research about the procedure.


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## hakunangovi (Feb 15, 2002)

From the time when I first went to school, I have felt really disappointed and angry that my mother chose to circumcise me. So, when my children came along, if one turned out to be boy, my mind was long made up that he would stay intact. The second one was a boy, and thankfuly I had no opposition from anyone. so I did not have to fight for his right to keep the parts he was born with.


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## Aliviasmom (Jul 24, 2006)

I didn't know any reason not to do it. My first baby was circ'd, because I didn't know better. One of my friends had a baby shortly before I got pregnant with Alivia and didn't circ her son. She tried talking to me about it, but I still didn't get it. I ran into some posts about circing on New Posts here, and watched the video (on mute). It was AWFUL!! I've made it less than 30 seconds into the movie with the sound on, and I almost puked. Never again!!!


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## Bm31 (Jun 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Belia* 
So does my FIL- he's intact and he wanted us to circ. He says he's had problems for years because of it.







I refuse to talk to my FIL about his penis.

I'd love to sit down with an intact guy like your FIL and compare "problems." I've had problems my entire life _because_ of circ: A re-circ at the age of six, a meatotomy, and more recently a releasing of some adhesions that had become more painful over the years. Even when not experiencing the more acute problems, what they've left me is a penis almost devoid of sensation and pleasure. Without knowing any more than I do, I'd be more than happy to swap "problems" with your FIL and have my whole penis back.


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## larzanna (Jan 23, 2008)

I put that i wanted to. I don't know what we are having yet though.
I still want to, but have decided that i will not. (DH dosn't care either way)
While it is my personal preference (i really do not like uncirced penises at all) I cannot in good conscience make a decision about my potential sons body. I would not pierce a daughters ears w/o her asking, so i would not circ a son unless he asked. Truthfully, i hope that he would want to be circed some day and ask, (i would also hope that a daughter would ask me for pirced ears) but if he does not its his body, not mine.
So i will reluctently NOT circ.


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## phatchristy (Jul 6, 2005)

From the moment I found out about it the whole idea of cutting off part of someone's genitals due to some cultural bias sounded like lunacy. And, being in the scientific fields, it just did not make sense that a foreskin would be problematic, otherwise we would not have survived as a species.

So, I would never have done it from the get go. But, I still researched it all to share the info w/DH.


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## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *larzanna* 
I put that i wanted to. I don't know what we are having yet though.
I still want to, but have decided that i will not. (DH dosn't care either way)
While it is my personal preference (*i really do not like uncirced penises at all*) I cannot in good conscience make a decision about my potential sons body. I would not pierce a daughters ears w/o her asking, so i would not circ a son unless he asked. Truthfully, i hope that he would want to be circed some day and ask, (i would also hope that a daughter would ask me for pirced ears) but if he does not its his body, not mine.
So i will reluctently NOT circ.

As a mother of 3 intact sons, and a wife to an intact man, I am just totally curious as to why you do not like "uncirced" penises? and uncirced, btw, doesn't make any sense to me because how can you _un_-circumcise? ( I mean, besides re-growing the foreskin







) --the term just bother's me, TBH.


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## Magali (Jun 8, 2007)

I saw the Penn and Teller video before I was pg. So it was a "no" from the get go for me. But, I didn't realize the gravity of circ till after my ds was born and I started on MDC.


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## azmomtoone (Aug 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ilovebabies* 
I put "other" because I didn't really think it was an option! It was just something that boys had to have done. Dh and I never even considered *not* circ'ing. To us it was just something that all baby boys had to go through, even though it was unpleasant (like getting the PKU or something). We felt the same about vaccines.

Same here; in fact, when I first found MDC, when I was pregnant, and saw all these people w/ comments about not circ'ing and not vax'ing, I thought they were a bunch of nut jobs.
At one point (before we knew DS's gender) I did ask DH if we should circ if we had a boy. He said yes. I figured that was that. Didn't have any reason not to do it myself, thought it had to be done, til I saw here that some didn't. Then when we first found out we were having a boy, after awhile, I started to wonder why people wouldn't want to circ their boys (after all, it's healthier & cleaner right?)







So I wandered over here; when I saw some of the pages about regrowing foreskins, that convinced me. I'm still amazed that anyone would go through all that to get a foreskin back - but if even one man is willing to, that's enough for me. I figure if DS decides he wants to be circ'ed when he's older, that's easy enough to do. If I had it done, and he doesn't want it however....

Of course, at that point, I was still absolutely certain we'd have him fully vaccinated, right on schedule. And anybody who didn't do THAT was a nut.


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## angelcat (Feb 23, 2006)

I voted other. I was annoyed BC medical wouldn't cover it, and that I couldn't even get it done in my town. I didn't know how to care for an uncirced penis. But I knew I wasn't gonna pay to have it done, so I worried. Then a friend with a little boy told me how easy it was, so I didn't care after that.

I had a girl, after all that, but if I ever have a boy, I won't bother getting it done, altho I don't have strong feelings on it.


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## Quindin (Aug 22, 2003)

I was horrified to find out that circumcision was done routinely in hospitals in the US.
I had never imagined that in this day and age, and in a developed nation, genital mutilation for non-religious reasons was not only common, but actually recommended by many doctors!


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## laohaire (Nov 2, 2005)

When I was pregnant, an NFL friend gave me a handout on circumcision and how it's not really necessary. It emphasized how it's easy to clean an intact penis and stuff like that. Before I read it, I hadn't given the topic any thought. The pamphlet made me question my default assumption that I would circ (if it was a boy). I wanted to discuss it with my husband, and he was pretty adamant that we do it, and didn't want to read the pamphlet. I didn't have very much info on it, and most importantly (to me) I hadn't read about any NEGATIVE effects of circ (just "there's no need to do it" which is of course enough to convince some people). Not feeling like I knew much, I kind of backed off and figured DH knew more about it than I did, him having the penis and all.

We had a girl so it never was an issue, but now I know I wouldn't ever do it to a boy if I had one. Partly because I know more about the facts (thanks mostly to MDC) - but also partly because now I'm a parent. I can't IMAGINE doing anything to hurt my little girl (or a hypothetical little boy) - but when I was pregnant it was a little more abstract.


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## 2xy (Nov 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *In Exile* 
I said to my husband "over my dead body, never!" and I am not embellishing this.

I never ever would have done this to a child. There was not a single doubt on my mind, ever. (I'm European, so that might be an explanation).

I'm 100% American and my reaction was much the same.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *Indigomama* 
I couldn't imagine not circing.. and my dh was like no way... every boy deserves every inch he can get.

He was so adamant for such a silly reason...

I really don't think that's a silly reason at all.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *larzanna* 
While it is my personal preference (i really do not like uncirced penises at all) I cannot in good conscience make a decision about my potential sons body. I would not pierce a daughters ears w/o her asking, so i would not circ a son unless he asked. Truthfully, i hope that he would want to be circed some day and ask.

There are women out there who prefer a non-scarred, natural penis. There are women out there who love a man for who he is and don't concern themselves with his circ status. You're not the one who is going to be sleeping with him when he's grown, so I can't imagine why you'd be so concerned with what his penis looks like.

My boys are teenagers and know that this bigotry exists in our country. I've already jokingly apologized to them for possibly ruining any future relationships. My oldest told me not to worry; he's not interested in shallow women, anyway.


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## 2xy (Nov 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Quindin* 
I was horrified to find out that circumcision was done routinely in hospitals in the US.
I had never imagined that in this day and age, and in a developed nation, genital mutilation for non-religious reasons was not only common, but actually recommended by many doctors!

...And paid for by Medicaid in most states.







:


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## mamabens (Aug 23, 2006)

When we got pregnant the first time 2 times I had planned to have it done just becaues I thought I had to. Thank God they were both girls! THen I happened up on this board & researched it & thought, there's no way I could do that to my baby! Then we got pg again & found out it was a boy & I talked to dh(who is circ'ed) about it & presented all the research I'd done. He didn't even look at it, he said if God put it there why cut it off & we decided against it. THen I found out just after our son was born(last week, hehe) that my parents are anti circ as well & that my father & uncles are intact & that we'd have been left intact if we were boys. yipee! Anyway,now that Harrison is here I couldn't imagine doing that to him.


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## anne1140 (Apr 10, 2007)

Okay, I totally didn't read your post before replying to the poll. Sorry!









I answered it based on my first thoughts of circ. (I didn't know either way.) I haven't been pregnant yet.

If I were to answer this after becoming pregnant, it would be that I wouldn't want to do it.


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## dearmama22 (Oct 20, 2008)

I initially thought, " everyone else does it" or " you're suppose to do it" or something along those lines. Then, i started researching, reading, and learning about it, and I'm so glad I did because now we're NOT circumcising! I would hate to do something to my child just because " everyone else does it," so I'm really glad I took action into my own hands!


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## lovbeingamommy (Jun 17, 2007)

When I was pregnant I researched for about 10 min. and that was enough time to allow me to make my decision. Even my ped didn't push it. He pretty much said in the US at this point it's about 50/50. So from then on it just seemed like the common sense thing to not do it.









Now if only all decisions about my baby were this easy...life would be good.


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## bubbamummy (Feb 25, 2009)

I am English and my son was born there, my husband is American. It is VERY rare in England to be circumcised, unless there is an very good, valid medical reason. I knew no one that was until i met my husband, infact....haha...when we 1st did the deed I asked what was wrong with his winkie!









When we found out we were having a boy, the topic came up, my husband wanted to...as that was 'the done thing' in his family. I said no way, no way ever,never,ever was someone going to chop off a perfectly good piece of my son soon after birth and throw it away NO WAY!! I said if he wanted to, then we couldnt remain together! It seriously meant that much to me. My husband had never questioned it, but after research he agreed it was unnecessary and even questioned his own mother as to why she 'broke his penis' haha


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## Shelsi (Apr 4, 2005)

I didn't give it much thought. I thought everyone circ'd. I never knew anyone who didn't and had never even seen an intact penis. I asked dh about it and he said, "yeah, I guess so." That's the extent of educating ourselves we did. I never even saw my ds's intact penis before he got circ'd because I was a really really nervous FTM and the nurses had be afraid of him not being swaddled all the time and dh & the nurses did all the diaper changes in the hospital.

I actually didn't even know they cut anything. I didn't really know what circumcision was or what a penis looked like normally. I didn't understand that they actually cut something off until after it was done and ds went into a deep sleep that he wouldn't wake up from for 10 hrs straight. The nurse told me that happens with babies with a trauma and that's when it dawned on me. I don't know why the OB and hospital didn't try to educate me. I found out later our city's circ rate was only like 20%.


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## ananas (Jun 6, 2006)

Growing up, I didn't really know much about it at all, just that it was something that was done to newborn boys...

I did the research when I was about 13, but it saddens me how many girls grow up knowing nothing about it and then doing it because it's what's done.


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## AGierald (Sep 5, 2007)

Honestly, i didnt think anything about it one bit, until I was researching vaccines. I just thought it was what you did.. in fact, i didnt know what it was at ALL. In college I was with an intact guy, and didn't think anything of that either, lol. I had no opinion at all.


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## momofmine (Jan 8, 2007)

To be honest, I thought it was very strange and odd and never even considered it. I never had brothers, and the first penises I had ever seen were uncircumcised, so that was what was normal to me.


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## beru (Nov 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shelsi* 
I actually didn't even know they cut anything. I didn't really know what circumcision was or what a penis looked like normally. I didn't understand that they actually cut something off until after it was done and ds went into a deep sleep that he wouldn't wake up from for 10 hrs straight. The nurse told me that happens with babies with a trauma and that's when it dawned on me. I don't know why the OB and hospital didn't try to educate me.

This just never ceases to amaze me. The fact is you did not give informed consent to this circumcision. The doctors and the hospital who did this to your son are completely negligent.


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## Shelsi (Apr 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *beru* 
This just never ceases to amaze me. The fact is you did not give informed consent to this circumcision. The doctors and the hospital who did this to your son are completely negligent.

And yet oddly enough I'm fairly certain that at least the nurse that had me sign the forms and took him to be circ'd was anti-circ by the things she said to me when she brought him back. I think they figured it was in the paperwork. I do remember I was supposed to read it but I was still in a lot of pain and I figured it was paperwork just like anything else because I didn't know circ was a big deal, kwim?


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## Yulia_R (Jan 7, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *azmomtoone* 
Same here; in fact, when I first found MDC, when I was pregnant, and saw all these people w/ comments about not circ'ing and not vax'ing, I thought they were a bunch of nut jobs.
At one point (before we knew DS's gender) I did ask DH if we should circ if we had a boy. He said yes. I figured that was that. Didn't have any reason not to do it myself, thought it had to be done, til I saw here that some didn't. Then when we first found out we were having a boy, after awhile, I started to wonder why people wouldn't want to circ their boys (after all, it's healthier & cleaner right?)







So I wandered over here; when I saw some of the pages about regrowing foreskins, that convinced me. I'm still amazed that anyone would go through all that to get a foreskin back - but if even one man is willing to, that's enough for me. I figure if DS decides he wants to be circ'ed when he's older, that's easy enough to do. If I had it done, and he doesn't want it however....

Of course, at that point, I was still absolutely certain we'd have him fully vaccinated, right on schedule. And anybody who didn't do THAT was a nut.









You are a very smart mama! I only wish I researched vaccines in time


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## MommytoB (Jan 18, 2006)

As I know I never knew anyone with a foreskin and all I knew was circumcision was done to baby boys at the hospital . i remember cringing at the seinfeld episode on one of our christmas work party that my mom was hosting but we had to be in the room .

So i think deep in down I knew i didn't want to do it but then i think my brother said it has to be done he was 4 yrs younger than me.

So I put it out of my mind and never really thought about it . I then met my ex whose my son's father has a foreskin and I think it took me awhile to realize he was not circumcised because I never heard of the word of foreskin at all.

So I was a bit pro-choice knew I wasn't going to do it and told my cousin about how i was not gonna do it talking how I was suprised about the hygience part so then after awhile I saw the circumcision procedure on a webpage. I was shocked and horrified that is what a circumcision was I couldn't believe that was being allowed to be done to babies and even older boys .


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## AnalogWife (Sep 8, 2007)

I let my DH decide. I was pretty mainstream during my pregnancy, my DH was born to a European mother and is intact. I sort of tiptoed around the question and everything, and he said that we should leave DS intact. Well enough.

It wasn't until DS was around 4 months old that I realized how important it was that he was left intact.







:


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## ani'smommy (Nov 29, 2005)

When I first thought about circ, long before I had kids, I figured we would probably do it. It didn't seem like a big deal either way. I had a girl first, so didn't really think about it. When I got pregnant again, I had learned about circ here on MDC and was very very against it. It didn't take long to convince DH, thankfully.


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## slsurface (May 8, 2007)

The real question is, "what did your DH think about circ?"

I was always against it. But DH was raised very conservative and was uncomfortable not circing DS. I did a lot of research to show him that it was not necessary. In the end, it took telling DH that female circ is considered mutilation by all governments across the world - why would we want to mutilate our son? This argument worked and I'm happy to say that DS is intact. Although, I am constantly surprised how many boys I see at DS's daycare are circed...it's really sad.


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## slsurface (May 8, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shelsi* 
And yet oddly enough I'm fairly certain that at least the nurse that had me sign the forms and took him to be circ'd was anti-circ by the things she said to me when she brought him back. I think they figured it was in the paperwork. I do remember I was supposed to read it but I was still in a lot of pain and I figured it was paperwork just like anything else because I didn't know circ was a big deal, kwim?

That's really horrid what the doctors did!







I was so paranoid that something like that might happen to my DS that I wouldn't let him out of my sight while we were at the hospital.


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## AntoninBeGonin (Jun 24, 2005)

Early in my first pregnancy DH asked if I had ever heard of circumcision. I said I'd heard the word but didn't know what it was. He told me and I was immediately disgusted and horrified. I knew at that very moment something like that would not be done to my kid. That was before I found this site or NOCIRC or had any other information about how horrible it is.


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## LisaSedai (Feb 27, 2009)

I was never introduced to an intact penis before I was pregnant with my son. At first, I wasn't sure one way or another. I thought I'd let my DH decide figuring he knows more about that body part than I do. I'm so glad I wandered on to the anticirc board on the pregnacy website I was using! I convinced my husband to leave him intact. I bet if they showed one of those awful videos of an actual circ on the hospital info channel circ rates would go waaaay down. At the hospital I was using, the OB's did the circs. As she was stuffing and stapling my guts back together after the csec she asked me did I want him circ'ed. When I said no way, she said something like "good... he won't come back and sue me in 18 yrs"


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## ~PurityLake~ (Jul 31, 2005)

I voted for I wouldn't want to do it and other.

Because not only would I not want to, I would not.

This applies to the first time I even found out about what it was.


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## Mama2Jesse (Jan 5, 2009)

I thought huh, that sounds like it would hurt.... guess we won't be doing it. but let's make sure there isn't a true, valid reason to do so or anything I should be aware of. *Researches, reads, watches video*
I cried. Nearly puked. Asked DH what he thought. He wanted to circ.

I practically pelted him with information and it took a few gut wrenching days, but he agreed. If he hadn't... tough cookies. No way was I hurting the child I wanted so badly.

I thought it was just a flap of skin, barely attached at all. It's not even a cut, it's degloving!


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## latinalonestar (Jan 26, 2008)

I always knew I wouldn't even before I did the research. After doing the research I became an intactivist though.


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## Litcrit (Feb 23, 2009)

I'm European. I was 25 when I first saw a discussion on circing on a US forum. It took me awhile to really understand what was being discussed (in my country, only the very few really really REALLY strictly observant Jews and Muslims do a little symbolic snip, often on somewhat older boys), and when I did, I was SHOCKED!

Why would girls prefer a circed penis? I don't get it. ANY thoughts?


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## ~PurityLake~ (Jul 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Litcrit* 
Why would girls prefer a circed penis? I don't get it. ANY thoughts?

I don't think 'girls' have any interest in penises at all. However, women who are attracted to men and who know or have experienced the difference (according to research I found through mothering) prefer intact penises.


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## ~PurityLake~ (Jul 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Litcrit* 
Why would girls prefer a circed penis? I don't get it. ANY thoughts?

I don't think 'girls' have any interest in penises at all. However, women who are attracted to men and who know or have experienced the difference (according to research I found through mothering) prefer intact penises (all other factors in choosing a sexual partner aside).


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## Litcrit (Feb 23, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 
I don't think 'girls' have any interest in penises at all. However, women who are attracted to men and who know or have experienced the difference (according to research I found through mothering) prefer intact penises (all other factors in choosing a sexual partner aside).

Of course, I meant 'young women', not little girls









Someone mentioned a reason for circing was that women prefer it that way, and I was wondering why would a woman feel that way? And, ummm, what would a woman do with a circed penis during foreplay, if it's not too indescreet a question?


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## JenniferLS (Feb 23, 2009)

When my DS was born, I had NO IDEA that there was such a strong following of anti-circumcision. My son will be 4 in June, if that helps with timeframe. My mom was a nurse, and she advised me about all the benefits of circumcision. I just remember my mom telling me that my younger brother was not circ'd at birth because my dad insisted he not be circ'd. (my older brother was, against my dad's wishes, so I think my mom wanted to let my dad choose the second time). Anyway, my brother ended up having a lot of infections and so at age 3 or 4, he had to be circ'd anyway. I just always assumed that people were correct in saying that it cuts down on infections, and lowers prostate cancer risk. I really honestly didn't think much more about it. I read a couple of papers on the pros and cons, (provided by insurance company) and decided that pros outweighed the cons for circumcision. So my son was circ'd and even though it was not a very good experience (the plastic ring never fell off on its own like its supposed to, so eventually the doctor had to cut the ring off! GASP!).

I have a daughter now, too, and would love another boy or two. So, when I ran across these threads on this discussion forum, it naturally caught my attention!

OK...so, I don't want to sound like an idiot, and I'll try to not worry about being embarrassed...but there are some things I don't understand about the foreskin. I've seen posts which talk about it retracting on its own when they get older. I don't really understand all of this. My husband was circumcised, and he's the only man I've ever been with. Not knowing much about the foreskin, I can admit that I can't imagine what it would be like if my husband were not circumcised. Though many have posted about women not really knowing the difference.

At the risk of sounding like a freak...are there any "medical" type websites that have pictures of what the penis looks like w/ or w/out foreskin...what it looks like before it retracts...something that explains it all...I'm really having a hard time picturing all of this. I kinda remember what my son looked like before he was circ'd. After what I've been reading, I'm pretty sure I won't circumcise another boy...however, I'd really like some exact anatomical information, I guess is what I'm looking for.

PLEASE! help me make the RIGHT decision should I have another boy!

Thank you!

Jennifer


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## Jennifer3141 (Mar 7, 2004)

Before I had my son, I was good friends with a nice MDC mama who circ'd all three of her boys because she didn't want them to look weird to women someday... I remember looking at her and thinking, "You're NUTS!" A few months later, we conceived DS and when I found out he was a boy, I wondered what kind of freak woman would someday sleep with my son and give a rat's butt about a flap of skin on his penis if I did a GOOD job raising him as a man. If someday, a woman cares then clearly she isn't the right woman for me son. And I'll chase her out of our lives with a rolling pin.


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## Megamus (Oct 14, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Litcrit* 
Someone mentioned a reason for circing was that women prefer it that way, and I was wondering why would a woman feel that way? And, ummm, what would a woman do with a circed penis during foreplay, if it's not too indescreet a question?









Honestly, I've never seen a NON-circed penis on a man. That's not a matter of preference...it's a matter of the three penises I've had personal experience with (or, one could argue, the circing trend for babies in the late 70s and very early 80s). I *assume* you do exactly the same things to a penis whether circed or not.

I understand the non-circ stance and I didn't circ my son, but I feel the need to point out that the circed guys I've met haven't exactly been numb "down there"...they feel plenty. (NOT AN ARGUMENT FOR CIRC...just an observation)


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## rubyinthedust (Aug 12, 2008)

I don't have any children yet, but I grew up thinking of intact as normal because my brothers both are, thanks to my awesome mom! She's taught me to question the norm, and circumcision has definitely become a part of that.

Once I actually heard the details of it and saw how many people in the US just went along with it, it blew my mind. I can never fathom doing that to my children. Joining MDC has made me even more passionate about my views against circumcision and helped me to spread the intactivism to my best friend.


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## Llyra (Jan 16, 2005)

I went into the research having decided that I wouldn't do it, UNLESS I could find a clear, compelling reason backed up by good research, that PROVED it was a good idea. I couldn't find that, of course. So we didn't do it.

My DH was very open-minded about the whole thing. He's circed, but that's about all he knew about the issue. I brought it up, he said he really didn't know anything, so he looked at the information and agreed with me. I didn't have to convince him at all.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

I never even considered it. My brother wasn't circumcised (in 1963 - go mom!), and it always struck me as a really cruel thing to do to a baby. I saw a picture of a freshly circumcised penis during prenatal classes, which just reinforced my feelings about it.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Megamus* 
Honestly, I've never seen a NON-circed penis on a man.

Me, either. As far as I know, intact penises in my generation were/are _very_ rare.


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## ShadowMoon (Oct 18, 2006)

I naturally had a strong aversion to circumcision. It got stronger as I researched the topic and talked with mu mother who deeply regretted her decision to circ my younger brother.


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## JenniferLS (Feb 23, 2009)

Thank you very much for the links. I will check them out. Since I left that post, though, i read mothering.com's article on the Case Against Circumcision, and have not been able to stop crying since. That was a week ago and I'm really struggling to make peace with what I did to my precious little boy. I absolutely will NEVER EVER do that again to future boys and will do my best to speak out against circumcision, especially to my family and friends.

I think the links will still be helpful for me to get a better understanding, but my mind is made up AGAINST circumcision!

Again, thank you!

Jennifer


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## KMK_Mama (Jan 29, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Litcrit* 
Of course, I meant 'young women', not little girls









Someone mentioned a reason for circing was that women prefer it that way, and I was wondering why would a woman feel that way? And, ummm, what would a woman do with a circed penis during foreplay, if it's not too indescreet a question?










I've never had experience with an intact penis. DH is my first and only, and unfortunately he was circ'd when he was 3. He was a preemie so they wouldn't do it at birth. His Mom got him circ'd when she had saved enough money to have the procedure done.







I wish he was intact....he is working on restoring, but it's such a slow process!


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## georgia (Jan 12, 2003)

Hi, we ask that members do not post sexually graphic links.

Even with disclaimers, we do not wish to host links of this nature. Thanks.


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## shepardsfleece (Mar 5, 2009)

When my first son was born I was 17 and very much alone, I didnt have any insurance and the hospital( small country hospital) wanted $40 to do it then. I didnt have it so I didnt do it. 6 years later when my 2nd son was born I by then had researched(mainly because everyone told me I had done something worng with my first son, you know all the same people who made me deliver alone...) and found that I was right not too. Thank God for being poor I guess. I have had 5 sons ( I have an angel son who would have been 5 in September) and none have been circed. My xh didnt like the idea, he was circd, his mother made it her business of course. But we all know how most mil's can be. In the end I won, probably more so with my second son because I had a woman midwife and she explained many things to him better than I in a hormonal state and being very aggravated with his mother could. He decided we were right. All 3 of my sons born after, his mom always asked if we were going to make sure he was clean this time or not though







: hehehe, I would just say, dont worry, its not contagious


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## mormontreehugger (Feb 25, 2009)

In the beginning I was just going to do it because it had never occurred to me that it was wrong or that it was anything damaging. All the males in my family are circ'ed, and DH endured some teasing because he wasn't. So we were all about doing it if Baby turns out to be a boy.

Then I found MDC.









We are no longer planning to circ and I am doing my best to spread the word about the harm it can do.

ETA: While in the process of convincing DH to leave any future little boys intact, I uh.. 'showed' him what it would be like during foreplay if he were not intact... I think that may have been the clincher...


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## columbusmomma (Oct 31, 2006)

I am going to be completely honest here. I never thought about if we would or wouldn't. I had never even heard the word intact(until I came to MDC)or seen an intact penis EVER. So I honestly(please no flames)just thought it was something that everyone did







. I know so much more now!! There is no way if I ever had another son in the future that he would be circ'd EVER, PERIOD. I am glad I have researched this subject and whenever there's a chance, I pass along the knowledge I have gained. I regret that this procedure happened to my DS. And of course I will be talking about the issue with him when it arises!
So I voted other, b/c I didn't even consider the subject.







( I just didn't know.....


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## dnr3301 (Jul 4, 2003)

I voted, "didn't want to do it", but that's not totally it. I knew I would never do it (leaving intact is the norm in my family), but in the beginning, before researching it, I didn't really care if other people did it, I didn't have any feelings of activism around it. It was more of a "I won't, and I don't get why others would, but oh well". Once I saw one picture of a baby in a circumstraint, I flipped completely to "omg, why? and how can I get more people to know about this?"


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## panamama (Dec 2, 2006)

i am like a couple of the PP's in that i 1) didn't know any better, 2) was very, very young when i had DS, 3) didn't give it much thought b/c i thought it was one of the 'normal' things that one did when having a child...along with the cocktail of vaxes.





















:

thankfully, DS is a healthy boy - almost a man - now, but if i could go back and do it differently, i would.


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## RedPony (May 24, 2005)

My first thought? No way in hell.


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## AstridS (Mar 9, 2007)

I put other. I never even thought about it. It's not done here in Europe and I never considered it.


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