# Weaned toddler still needs my breasts!!!



## LylasMom (Aug 5, 2003)

I seriously need help. I weaned DD at 21 m, she's now almost 27 months. For most of her life she's been a part time cosleeper, and when she does sleep next (I don't encourage it, but it makes life easier and we all need our sleep) to me she needs to play with my nipples. I'm 6 months pregnant and can't take it anymore. I tell her it hurts, and not to pinch, she understands that, but I still can't stand when she even touches them.

I'm having trouble sleeping as it is, my joints hurt from sleeping on my sides all night (the same thing used to happen when she was nursing all night) due to being pregnant. Last night she was up for almost an hour and half b/c I either kept moving her hand away, or b/c I just wanted to turn over and sleep! She kept getting angry at me for not facing her, and I'm tired of her thinking she owns my breasts!

Well tonight, I think she was overtired, but she was having a major tantrum at bedtime in her own room saying she wanted "milkies" over and over again. It may be b/c we were away for 2 weekends in a row where she slept right next to me. When we're home, we have a routine and I sit next to her toddler bed until she falls asleep. She was freaking out and it was really upsetting to me. I can't help but feel guilty that I wasn't giving in by just putting her to sleep on my bed and letting her play with my nipples! BUT, I know I can't do this, we have another baby on the way in 3 months!


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## APmomma (Mar 11, 2005)

I personally feel that if it is bothering you that much than you need to put a stop to it. I know it hurts you to see your dd upset, but doing something that you aren't comfortable with and something that causes you to feel resentful toward your child is not healthy. My dd is 19 months and she always tries to grab my other breast while nursing and I, like you, cannot stand the feeling of her doing this, so I just gently move her hand away over and over explaining to her that I don't like when she touches my other "nin" as she calls it.

You also want your dd to know that it is not okay for people to touch her body if she doesn't want them to. If you don't want her to but you are letting her anyway, it is sending the wrong message. It is YOUR body and if you don't like it then you need to explain this to her and come up with a new way of comforting her. She may be angry and let you know this, and I believe you should validate her feelings, but stay firm in the fact that you don't like when she does this, and you aren't going to allow it anymore. Maybe find a new comforting technique that she does like. When I night weaned my dd just recently, I noticed that she liked when I scratched her body in different places, so now when she goes to sleep I ask her where she wants to me scratch her and she usually asks for me to scratch her armpits! But, my point is, we compromised and came up with something that worked for both of us. Trust me, I know that feeling. I CANNOT stand to let my dd touch my breasts, it drives me crazy and I am not even pregnant!

Good luck, I HTH a little.
Robin
Momma to Paige Elisabeth 2-2-04


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## Naiad (Jul 1, 2005)

I agree, if it's bothering you it would be better to stop, rather than let it go on while resenting. Ds weaned at 2, but still has an interest in them, every now and then saying 'I want nurse that', just to make sure my answer is yes before losing interest.









What about giving her a taggy blanket, or something she could twiddle while falling asleep as a replacement?


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## oneotamama (Apr 23, 2004)

What's up w/this?! My 18 mo dd just weaned too, but she constantly wants to play w/my boobies :LOL No advice, just giving you some company


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## momofelise (Apr 13, 2005)

Wow! I had no idea the baby playing with nipples thing is so universal! My dd (7 months) has the bad habit of pinching my other nipple when she nurses at night, and if her nails are a little long, it's even more painful/annoying. I usually just push her hand away, which sometimes makes her mad. The idea that she could still want to do that even after she's weaned is scary! Hopefully I can train her out of it right now. But I'm glad to know my dd didn't invent the bad habit. :LOL


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## PaxMamma (Jul 22, 2005)

my ds weaned himself at 25 mos, but at 28 mos is still wanting to play w/my breasts, too. so, when we go to bed at night, i let him rub them for about 2-3 minutes and then i tell him "Ten more seconds, then mama milk has to go to sleep". we count to ten and now, at ten, he says, "good night, mama milk" and that's it. in the morning he sometimes says, "mama milk awake!" and i'll let him rub them for a few minutes before we get out of bed.


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## nova22 (Jun 26, 2004)

I can't STAND that. I know how you feel. When ds tries to do that I take her hand and say, "Let's hold hands." Sometimes I count her fingers, or do "this little piggy" on her hands, to distract her. It always works like a charm. She is about ten months younger than your's...you might be able to use a more advanced game than "this little piggy"...but the principal is the same.







Good luck!


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## LylasMom (Aug 5, 2003)

It's not getting any better. I've been trying to make her understand that I just don't like it, it hurts, it's MY body, etc. But when she's very tired or cranky, that all goes out the window. Last night at bedtime she cried for milkies for about 10 minutes. It breaks my heart to see her "withdraw" still like this, months after being weaned, but at the same time she can't have control over my body. The other thing she likes to control about me is she doesn't like it when I put my hair up in a clip or ponytail!! It's the craziest thing and it's not all day, but again if she's cranky, she will throw a fit and scream for me to take my hair down. It occurs almost daily!


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## oneotamama (Apr 23, 2004)

:LOL Oh my!! I can totally relate to that hair clip thing. My dd likes to pull it out, but doesn't whine about it. Now my ds on the other hand, screeches and whines, "Take it out momma!!" Ah!!!!


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## SAHMommie (Aug 8, 2005)

I think we have the same child, LOL. My ds is 21 mos (weaned at 18m). He loves to play with my "ninnys" especially when he is tired. If I turn away in the bed he will pitch a fit. Most of the time it doesnt bother me. I wonder if he will eventually outgrow the need to do this. Does anyone have any experience with a child outgrowing this or do you eventually have to make them stop?

If it really bothers you I think you need to be consistant and not allow it ever.

Ds also hates for me to have anything in my hair. I love to pull my hair back but he cries "hair, hair, hair" until I take it out or he gets close enough to yank it out.







: I had no idea this was common!


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## Naiad (Jul 1, 2005)

Ditto with the hair thing. DS won't allow a clip etc. in my hair for more than a second- then it's 'you want me take that out? I take that out!' My hair was always his comfort thing, he'd hang onto it while he nursed, so I thought maybe that way the reason.


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## KoalaMommy (Apr 7, 2004)

how about wearing a padded bra to bed? or putting some nursing pads in a sleeping bra? It won't stop her from grabbing, but it will stop you from feeling it so much.


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## Shakti (Nov 20, 2001)

When my DD was at that stage of still wanting my breasts, I politely but firmly told her that I didn't want her to do that. But I gave her permission to touch my tummy, and we were both happy with that. She is now 4 1/2, we are still happily cosleeping, and she still goes to sleep with her hands on 'squishies,' which is the name she quickly gave my tummy. Good thing I am not vain! LOL


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