# Don't tell me you "DON'T LIKE KIDS"



## Celticqueen (Feb 17, 2007)

Has anyone else here been in this situation:

You're standing there WITH your child/children, having a conversation with someone children/parenting stuff/whatever, and they say nonchalantly, "I don't like kids" or "I hate kids" and either laugh casually or give the explanation why?

This has happened TWICE so far after becoming a mom and quite frankly, I'm offended by it. (I don't get offended easily)

People out there can go ahead and dislike kids or the idea of having kids, but for goodness' sake, I think it's RUDE to say it in front of/to a mom with kids with her.

Thoughts? Discussions?

-Caitrin


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## Jenlaana (Oct 28, 2005)

I dont like kids *shrug* Love my own, but in general am not kid friendly. That being said, I wouldnt spend time w/ my kids around someone who didnt like kids. So if they say it, they should expect to not see much of me for the forseeable future.


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## finn'smama (Jan 11, 2006)

I think people just don't think before they speak sometimes. My aunt once told my mom she only wanted to have boys because she hated girls...my mom had three girls!







And a friend of mine was telling me about the birth of a another friend's daughter and said she was the cutest baby she had ever seen in her life...I was standing there holding my own newborn!







: I felt like smacking her honestly, I thought it was totally insensitive and my feelings were genuinely hurt (hormones!!).


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## Celticqueen (Feb 17, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *finn'smama* 
I think people just don't think before they speak sometimes. My aunt once told my mom she only wanted to have boys because she hated girls...my mom had three girls!







And a friend of mine was telling me about the birth of a another friend's daughter and said she was the cutest baby she had ever seen in her life...I was standing there holding my own newborn!







: I felt like smacking her honestly, I thought it was totally insensitive and my feelings were genuinely hurt (hormones!!).

I would have been so angry had that been me!







:

-Caitrin


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## momz3 (May 1, 2006)

I don't like kids myself







especially obnoxious pre teens (which my kids will one day be). LOL. I could *NEVER* be a school teacher. However, I don't hate children or anything and I adore my own and plan to have one more. I don't go around telling ppl who have older children "I just hate kids that age, " or "I hate teens"..i think thats a bit rude. I had a friend and we were pg together. She was pg with a girl (and she was happy) and I was pg with a boy (and thats what I wanted) and she would constantly say "God I hate little boys, i feel so sorry for you. I'm glad to be having a girl"







:

She now has a 15 month old ds and admitted the other day that she was wrong about little boys and felt bad about the comments she made in the past.

Another friend of mine has 5 kids (all are 5 and under). and the bottom 2 are 13 month old twins! I bet you can imagine the rude comments she gets, especially about the twins. When she was pregnant someone told her "Oh you poor thing" after she announced her pregnancy with twins.







:


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## Celticqueen (Feb 17, 2007)

Like I said in my original post, I don't mind it if women/men out there don't like kids, but it's when someone tells you to your face when you have your child with you that I think is appalling.

-Caitrin


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## Celticqueen (Feb 17, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *momz3* 
Another friend of mine has 5 kids (all are 5 and under). and the bottom 2 are 13 month old twins! I bet you can imagine the rude comments she gets, especially about the twins. When she was pregnant someone told her "Oh you poor thing" after she announced her pregnancy with twins.







:











-Caitrin


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## Potty Diva (Jun 18, 2003)

I think people get offended to easily. I'm not offended by another person's opinion if it doesn't affect me or my life or isn't hateful.

I don't see not liking children as being hateful and in fact am thankful that people who don't like children most likely won't be having them


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## Potty Diva (Jun 18, 2003)

And if I were with my kids and I was told by someone I was with they didn't like kids, I would have to







my head and wonder why the heck they were having a conversation with me in the first place


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## ~PurityLake~ (Jul 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Potty Diva* 
I think people get offended to easily. I'm not offended by another person's opinion if it doesn't affect me or my life or isn't hateful.

I don't see not liking children as being hateful and in fact am thankful that people who don't like children most likely won't be having them









Thank you, this is what I was thinking. I don't like other people's kids for the most part, although there are a few I like. Sometimes I don't like my own very much.







Like when Abigial is beating me up and I'm really hot and she and Sophia just won't get off me. I still love them, though.

Before I had kids, I didn't care to be around anyone else's kids. Now I do because I want my daughters to have friends. I still spend my time talking with the moms, not so much interacting with their kids.

If a person does't like kids, would you rather they lie to you just so you won't be offended that they may feel differently than you? Maybe you are always around your kids, like I am, so then when would they tell you? What is wrong about people being different, and still being friends?

My best friend for much of my adult life was completely opposite me in the religion department. We openly shared our feelings about it, and talked with each other extensively on the subject (not arguing) and our differences I believe brought us closer together because we acknowledged our differences, respected each other for our perspectives, we learned much from each other, and still deeply cared for each other.


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## Potty Diva (Jun 18, 2003)

Katreena- I'm the opposite now. Now I can't stand other adults, but love their kids


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## MilkTrance (Jul 21, 2007)

It's kind of rude. Sort-of related: when I was ready to burst (39 weeks pg), we were waiting in line for a movie and a girl my age (late 20's) said loudly, to her friend, how she would "never" imagine herself pregnant because she didn't want to be tied down and was "married to her job." I thought that was kind of insensitive to say when you're standing beside a VERY pregnant woman (I was HUGE).

Turns out the job position she was so "married" to is assistant manager at the movie theatre. Whatever, it's great she likes her job, but I'd certainly rather be committed to a baby than to ripping people's tickets in half 8 hours a day.

FWIW, before I had DS, I wasn't a baby-lover, just didn't have it in me. Now I love them, but I remember the days when they made me a little uncomfortable. My mom was like that too, before she had me. But I'd never tell someone with kids that I "hate" them. Augh.


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## paquerette (Oct 16, 2004)

I'd be pretty angry if someone said that in front of my child. I can take the slight, but it's a lot harder for her. Same way I'd feel if someone said "I hate Polish people" in front of her (she's half Polish and I am not).


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## Celticqueen (Feb 17, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Potty Diva* 
I think people get offended to easily. I'm not offended by another person's opinion if it doesn't affect me or my life or isn't hateful.

I don't see not liking children as being hateful and in fact am thankful that people who don't like children most likely won't be having them









Of course people get too offended. That's my whole point. I'm the type of person who doesn't get offended by anything- even things I probably should be offended by.

So, the fact that this offends me is interesting to some people I know and I just wanted to see if I was the only one.

Thankfully, I'm not









-Caitrin


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## Changed (Mar 14, 2004)

I have a hard enough time finding adults that I really like but if they ran around carefree being their true selves, I think i'd absolutely hate them.


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## Potty Diva (Jun 18, 2003)

Caitrin- I can't see myself getting offended by someone not liking my child, or children in general, and I get offended quite easily. I just could not care less about what another person thought about children, especially if they are not in a professional position that involved kids. Their opinion means absolutely nothing to me and I wouldn't be offended if we were in a conversation and someone said, "I was at the mall the other day and a lady walked by with a little girl, and oh I hate kids and think they should be kept indoors." Most likely I would laugh. It's really silly, the disliking of children, but it would have nothing to do with children and everything to do with the person claiming they dislike them. Couldn't offended me with this one, even if someone tried.

Heck, you could even say you hate my kid in front of me AND my kid. But, my kid with tell you to shove it, I would laugh, and you would end up REALLY hating my kid (general you of course).


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## Potty Diva (Jun 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jörð* 
I have a hard enough time finding adults that I really like but if they ran around carefree being their true selves, I think i'd absolutely hate them.


Ditto.


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## dianamerrell (Mar 15, 2006)

i think everyone is entitled to their opinion, even if they do not like kids.

But to say that to someone with kids and in front of them is rude IMO. What if someone says "i do not like old people" in front of a senior?

It almost seems discrimitory, to say you do not like a large portion of the population - due to their age







:


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## Potty Diva (Jun 18, 2003)

Discriminatory? I really don't think so. It's a personal opinion, which in the grand scheme of things means nothing.

I would suggest for those of us who are offended by such an opinion to not be around such people, problem solved.


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## artgoddess (Jun 29, 2004)

Not liking children is okay with me. Some people aren't kid people. But to say that in FRONT of kids where they can hear but say it anyway and act like their feelings don't matter because they are children is really obnoxious.

What if you were at a party with your AA friend and introduced them to someone who spoke only to you, not your firend and also made a point of saying to you, infront of your AA friend, "I don't like black people."


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## dianamerrell (Mar 15, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *artgoddess* 
Not liking children is okay with me. Some people aren't kid people. But to say that in FRONT of kids where they can hear but say it anyway and act like their feelings don't matter because they are children is really obnoxious.

What if you were at a party with your AA friend and introduced them to someone who spoke only to you, not your firend and also made a point of saying to you, infront of your AA friend, "I don't like black people."

Exactly!

This comment about any other group of people would not be acceptable
- i dont like men
- i dont like women
- i dont like seniors
- i dont like people from X or that believe in X

why should we be tolerant of discrimination about the group of people called children.


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## Arwyn (Sep 9, 2004)

What gets me about that comment is the self-hatred it implies (well, not in "I don't like kids" but people who say they _really dislike_ kids - one is just an absence of affection or affinity, the other is active antagonism). I mean, every adult WAS a kid, so it seems to me that hating kids is hating a part of yourself.


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## momz3 (May 1, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Celticqueen* 
Like I said in my original post, I don't mind it if women/men out there don't like kids, but it's when someone tells you to your face when you have your child with you that I think is appalling.

-Caitrin

I agree. Saying that in front of children is unacceptable








sorry you and your child had to go through that


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Moving to Parenting Issues


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## Demeter9 (Nov 14, 2006)

"Hm...Interesting. I don't like idiots. I find them frustrating and exhausting."

These things just pop out of my mouth.


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## Demeter9 (Nov 14, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Arwyn* 
What gets me about that comment is the self-hatred it implies (well, not in "I don't like kids" but people who say they _really dislike_ kids - one is just an absence of affection or affinity, the other is active antagonism). I mean, every adult WAS a kid, so it seems to me that hating kids is hating a part of yourself.

Yes, exactly. The self-hate involved is always odd. Like someone just looked right at you and casually said, "I hate myself, and wish I didn't exist." Just leaves you kind of wierded out, and wondering if you should call the person's psychiatrist or something.


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## bigeyes (Apr 5, 2007)

I think it's rude.

_But..._ I'd be glad to know that about them so I would not expose my dcs to them.


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## sphinxie (Feb 28, 2006)

I think it would depend how they said it.


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## Celticqueen (Feb 17, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Demeter9* 
"Hm...Interesting. I don't like idiots. I find them frustrating and exhausting."

These things just pop out of my mouth.

Good comeback. I want to say that next time now









-Caitrin


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

I hear ya, Celticqueen. We don't *need* to share every thought that pops into our heads -- most people have a filter of some sort that lets them know whether something is appropriate to say. Like, I wouldn't muse to my friend who just got her hair cut, "I don't like short hair on women" or say to my artist friend who is telling me how excited she is about her new show "I've never really liked art." It's rude, and doesn't add anything meaningful to the conversation.


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## incorrigible (Jun 3, 2007)

.


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## GranoLLLy-girl (Mar 1, 2005)

I wonder if it would be more accurate if 'kid haters' would say that they 'aren't good around/with kids'--that seems like it would probably be more realistic, too.
I mean, afterall, who did THEY play with when they were young? LOL!


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## Potty Diva (Jun 18, 2003)

But isn't saying you don't like adults just as much self-hate as saying you don't like children? Afterall, you are an adult.


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## incorrigible (Jun 3, 2007)

.


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## siobhang (Oct 23, 2005)

personally, it seems to be acceptable in many circles to treat kids as though they are separate from society, as less than human, as a subclass worthy of derision and mockery.
And this disturbs me. It strikes me as deeply misanthropic - or perhaps just very confused about where future adults come from.

While I don't think everyone (especially every parent) needs to love interacting with children (lord, after a day with my two, I am ready to ship 'em off), the concept that it is somehow okay to _hate_ children (vs feel uncomfortable, get irritated, not choosing to spend time with them, etc etc), I find really unsettling.

I had a friend (now ex-friend) who openly "hates" kids. She made jokes about my child being a parasite while I was breastfeeding, and would refer to my newborn as "it". When I asked her if she would mind holding the baby while I peed, she gave me that nose-wrinkled, how disgusting face you normally reserve for feces.

yeah, I was insulted. She is no longer a friend.

But she will, soon, be a (step) mother. I fear for her child.

My standard response to the childfree crap I see sometimes, the really obnoxious drivel, is "Well, I hope you won't need anyone to wipe your ass in the nursing home."


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## tsume (Jun 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Potty Diva* 
And if I were with my kids and I was told by someone I was with they didn't like kids, I would have to







my head and wonder why the heck they were having a conversation with me in the first place

















:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jörð* 
I have a hard enough time finding adults that I really like but if they ran around carefree being their true selves, I think i'd absolutely hate them.

double yeah

Quote:

I had a friend (now ex-friend) who openly "hates" kids. She made jokes about my child being a parasite while I was breastfeeding, and would refer to my newborn as "it". When I asked her if she would mind holding the baby while I peed, she gave me that nose-wrinkled, how disgusting face you normally reserve for feces.
This to me is totally different than the people who say "I don't like kids". apples and oranges


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## Sharlla (Jul 14, 2005)

Eh, I don't like kids, none of my friends that I have told are offended by it. Heck some told me the same thing and it didn't bother me either.


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## Adasmommy (Feb 26, 2005)

If someone told me they didn't like kids, I would probably be less interested in them (we have less in common).

If someone told me they didn't like kids, knowing that I am a mother, I would find that kind of rude. Like saying they don't like brown hair (which I have). Why would you say that to me? (Saying they don't want kids is another story--then I just feel like they're missing out and hope they change their minds







).

If someone said they didn't like kids in front of my daughter, I would be seriously







: . That's just not okay with me. It's mean. It's really rough for me to see people being mean to my daughter.

So I guess I'll try to raise children who are conscious of the effects their words have on others. Not everyone is to the degree I would like!


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## Potty Diva (Jun 18, 2003)

I'll equate the brown hair comment with a comment I received today that made me laugh.

My co-worker said, "I just can't stand tattoos." She and another coworker were having a conversation about tattoos. I giggled and she was like, "I'm serious I don't like tattoos and I don't know how people get them all over their bodies." I really laughed then and said, "Oh come on J, you know you secretly have a big backpiece!" She was shocked and showed me her back. It was comical. I then said, "nah, we all know you're a closet biker chick."

It really ruffled her feathers. I don't think she even thought of me having tattoos although mine show every day. She was just talking and sharing her opinion. No offense.

I think now, since today's comments worked so well, I would totally make it into a joke, saying to someone who said they didn't like kids, that secretly they wanted a dozen and were just dying to babysit for me.







We know all people covet our kids!


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## Potty Diva (Jun 18, 2003)

Mamas,
It didn't pass by me, I was just shocked into silence.


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## kittywitty (Jul 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Celticqueen* 
Like I said in my original post, I don't mind it if women/men out there don't like kids, but it's when someone tells you to your face when you have your child with you that I think is appalling.

-Caitrin

I agree. I had an ex-boyfriend who told me he hated kids. Ummm...I have two and you've met them? Good-bye.


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## Adasmommy (Feb 26, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Potty Diva* 
I think now, since today's comments worked so well, I would totally make it into a joke, saying to someone who said they didn't like kids, that secretly they wanted a dozen and were just dying to babysit for me.







We know all people covet our kids!

Oh, I think that's a great idea! If this ever does happen to me (and it hasn't yet), I'm totally ripping you off







: even though I do think it's rude of them to say so.

Lighthearted is so much more fun!


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## Krystal323 (May 14, 2004)

i would get angry if someone said that in front of my child, b/c they;d be offending my child!

i have actually been in that same situation before, and instead of responding to the person, i said to my son, "did you hear that Ian, this guy said he doesn't like kids!" and proceeded to make fun of the guy for saying that









turned it into a joke so my son wasn't hurt, and also hopefully pointed out to the guy what a faux pas he just made.


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## Potty Diva (Jun 18, 2003)

We are sitting on the couch together and I just looked up at kailey and out of the blue said, "I don't like kids."

She snapped her head around and gave me a look that said, "Have you gone mad?"

Then I asked her how that made her feel and what she thought of someone who said they didn't like kids for real.

She said it made her angryand she wouldn't like the person.

Hrm...


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## EFmom (Mar 16, 2002)

I don't think they should say it in front of the kids, but I'm not offended that some people don't like kids at all.


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## Celticqueen (Feb 17, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Potty Diva* 
We are sitting on the couch together and I just looked up at kailey and out of the blue said, "I don't like kids."

She snapped her head around and gave me a look that said, "Have you gone mad?"

Then I asked her how that made her feel and what she thought of someone who said they didn't like kids for real.

She said it made her angryand she wouldn't like the person.

Hrm...

No wonder! Nice experiment. See? KIDS DON'T LIKE IT.

-Caitrin


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## littleaugustbaby (Jun 27, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Celticqueen* 
No wonder! Nice experiment. See? KIDS DON'T LIKE IT.

But someone who doesn't like kids wouldn't care that kids don't like it, so that argument wouldn't really sway anyone.


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## ginadc (Jun 13, 2006)

I have a "friend" who's like this. While I understand that some people don't like being around kids, and really have no problem with that--to each their own--she takes it way to the extreme. She hates kids, and it is frustrating her to no end that the people she was closest with in our group of friends (we all got to know each other while planning NYC weddings at the same time) have now all either had kids, are pregnant or just waiting on a couple of health issues to become so.

She honestly posted, to a private message board we have, that she *loses respect for* and thinks less of people when they have kids. Um, do you realize that you just insulted most of the people here? She intimidated several women in the group to feel so uncomfortable posting belly shots *in their own online journals* that they stopped doing it and just posted links to the pictures on a separate site. And whenever someone posts something detailed about pregnancy, IVF, childbirth, adoption, etc., she says something like this: "That's all Charlie Brown waaah waaah waaah waaah to me, but good luck."

Why we tolerate her at this point, even though she was kind of the one who originally got the group together, I don't know.


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## Hopesmommy (Oct 23, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jenlaana* 
I dont like kids *shrug* Love my own, but in general am not kid friendly. That being said, I wouldnt spend time w/ my kids around someone who didnt like kids. So if they say it, they should expect to not see much of me for the forseeable future.


I couldn't have worded this better myself. Honestly, it wouldn't offend me at all.

Okay, okay. Don't say it in front of someone's child, and don't be a jerk about it. It's one thing to say "I don't like kids." and another to say "Kids are nasty little parasitic dirty misbehaved human beings."


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## bigeyes (Apr 5, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ginadc* 
.

She honestly posted, to a private message board we have, that she *loses respect for* and thinks less of people when they have kids. Um, do you realize that you just insulted most of the people here? She intimidated several women in the group to feel so uncomfortable posting belly shots *in their own online journals* that they stopped doing it and just posted links to the pictures on a separate site. And whenever someone posts something detailed about pregnancy, IVF, childbirth, adoption, etc., she says something like this: "That's all Charlie Brown waaah waaah waaah waaah to me, but good luck."

Why we tolerate her at this point, even though she was kind of the one who originally got the group together, I don't know.

I'm thinking the rest of you should get together and start your own board.


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## Sijae (May 5, 2006)

I'm another one of those that doesn't really like kids that much. I love my own and I want all children to be treated with love and respect but I'm just not one that would choose to spend time with a lot of them.

However, this is something I keep to myself!

Laura


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## sagira (Mar 8, 2003)

You know what's wild? Someone told me this ("I don't like kids"), and she had four children, now she had her fifth. That scares me. I never forgot it, because I noticed her kids were artificially quiet, too adult-like and she liked the book "Training up a Child" by the Pearls uke


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## momz3 (May 1, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sagira* 
You know what's wild? Someone told me this ("I don't like kids"), and she had four children, now she had her fifth. That scares me. I never forgot it, because I noticed her kids were artificially quiet, too adult-like and she liked the book "Training up a Child" by the Pearls uke

yikes!!!


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## SneakyPie (Jan 13, 2002)

I'm not offended by it on behalf of my mother self. I am disgusted by it on behalf of my children. If someone said that in front of my kid I would let them have it.

If they said it to me without the kid around, I would be much more compassionate and draw them out. Usually I find that people are just unsure of themselves around children, or were treated very badly as kids and don't know how to treat kids well.

The weirdest to me is when a parent asserts that they don't "like" other kids than their own. That just seems so cruel and weird. Children are PEOPLE, and when adults give themselves permission to write off a whole group of people just because of their age, I think it's laziness on the adult's part. Make the effort, learn how to relate, take a class! The people I've heard it from, it's always seemed like an unhealthy copout.


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## LotusBirthMama (Jun 25, 2005)

At the DMV yesterday this 30ish woman complimented my 4 yo by saying, "Your DD is so cute...and I normally HATE children." Hm. I just smiled and turned around. DD, though, was thrilled and all day kept saying how "that kid-hater looooooves me....."


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## DBassett (May 15, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Demeter9* 
"Hm...Interesting. I don't like idiots. I find them frustrating and exhausting."

These things just pop out of my mouth.

yeah but if you said that in front of an idiot, they wouldn't get it. Kids understand it and it's hurtful to them. It is however an excellent come back









Quote:


Originally Posted by *siobhang* 
personally, it seems to be acceptable in many circles to treat kids as though they are separate from society, as less than human, as a subclass worthy of derision and mockery.
And this disturbs me. It strikes me as deeply misanthropic - or perhaps just very confused about where future adults come from.

While I don't think everyone (especially every parent) needs to love interacting with children (lord, after a day with my two, I am ready to ship 'em off), the concept that it is somehow okay to _hate_ children (vs feel uncomfortable, get irritated, not choosing to spend time with them, etc etc), I find really unsettling.

I had a friend (now ex-friend) who openly "hates" kids. She made jokes about *my child being a parasite* while I was breastfeeding, and would refer to my newborn as "it". When I asked her if she would mind holding the baby while I peed, she gave me that nose-wrinkled, how disgusting face you normally reserve for feces.

yeah, I was insulted. She is no longer a friend.

But she will, soon, be a (step) mother. I fear for her child.

My standard response to the childfree crap I see sometimes, the really obnoxious drivel, is "Well, I hope you won't need anyone to wipe your ass in the nursing home."

Your child was never a parasite. Your ex-friend is a UA violation. Your child, scientifically speaking, is a symbiotic being. Breastfeeding is a symbiotic, not parasitic, relationship. The rest of the stuff she said to you was AWFUL.

I don't like other people's kids. Yes it seems a bit mean but not every parent parents the same way I do so some kids I feel are actually BAD kids (for ex. a child pinched my son so hard that he bled and NOBODY did anything about it). If the child is parented the same (or very similar) way I parent then I wouldn't dislike being around that child. So to rectify my statement, I don't like kids who are out of control.

I'd be offended but dbf says I'm always offended







: (am not)


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## Potty Diva (Jun 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Celticqueen* 
No wonder! Nice experiment. See? KIDS DON'T LIKE IT.

-Caitrin

Exactly. it made me think.

And you can kiss my rear end, ms. snotty.


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## rharr! (Nov 9, 2005)

I was having a conversation with a group of women. One women that I had only met a few times blurted out in a totally revolted voice "I hate babies!"
I blurted out "Well aren't you a freak of nature!"







me and my big mouth.

Usually I just say " thats sad" or "thats too bad"


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## offwing (Aug 17, 2006)

People say things without thinking. They say things that come out the wrong way. They say things that can have two meanings without meaning to. The point being, people can say words that end up being recieved by someone else in a completely different manner than was intended. They did mean to be insulting.

Now, being offended? That's something we CHOOSE to do. You choose to be pissed off, you choose to repeat what was said over and over again making yourself more irritated with every repetition, you choose to fuss and fume and feel injured.

So, who is to blame for you being offended? The person who did something unintentionally or the person who is doing something deliberately?

So unless you have a reason to think that person cared enough about you to be deliberately insulting to you and your kids (like siobhang's ex-friend seemed to be), I think it is silly to be all fussed up and angry about it.


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## offwing (Aug 17, 2006)

Plus people in general use the word "hate" way to casually. It's almost become a meaningless word.

It happens around here too, but people tend to focus on it when it is used against something they hold dear.


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## kittywitty (Jul 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *offwing* 
People say things without thinking. They say things that come out the wrong way. They say things that can have two meanings without meaning to. The point being, people can say words that end up being recieved by someone else in a completely different manner than was intended. They did mean to be insulting.

Now, being offended? That's something we CHOOSE to do. You choose to be pissed off, you choose to repeat what was said over and over again making yourself more irritated with every repetition, you choose to fuss and fume and feel injured.

So, who is to blame for you being offended? The person who did something unintentionally or the person who is doing something deliberately?

So unless you have a reason to think that person cared enough about you to be deliberately insulting to you and your kids (like siobhang's ex-friend seemed to be), I think it is silly to be all fussed up and angry about it.

So we are silly for being offended by some people who are just rude and inconsiderate?


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## offwing (Aug 17, 2006)

I'm not sure if responding back to someone who directly comments to me is seen as a UA violation, but I'm removing my post until I am clear on it. Feel free to PM me dnw826 if you would like.

Thanks!


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