# Lonely/no friend mamas



## turkeygw

Are there any mamas out there, like me, who have very few to no friends. I have one friend, who I keep in contact with monthly, and that's it. And for me, no, inlaws don't count, because I hardly ever see them, except for mil. It's very hard for me to make friends, plus I'm shy, and don't trust people too easily. I also lost my best friend(my paternal grandmother) this past April, who was my absolute best friend. Geez I just wish I had a friend to talk to up close. Lol! My daughters talk me to death, but I need more adult convo. KWIM?


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## carla72

Hello I feel for you. I lost my Grandmother/bestfriend last october when my daughter was 3 months. I am still not over it. I have friends but none with children so I rarely see them these days. You tend to drift apart when you are in different cycles of your lifes. I attend La Leche league meetings once a month and I love them. It is really nice to be around other moms with similar values. Maybey there is one in your area.

Carla

Mother to stephie 16 months







:


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## noorjahan




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## feebeeglee

You all are in the right place - outside of my family all my dearest friends have come from here!

Right now I have one friend, she is still a 'new' friend - and was obtained because our daughters liked each other. It was a pleasant surprise to discover that we liked each other too, and parent similarly.

But I spent a year after moving away from my MDC real-life friends before even trying to make friends in our new locality. I have never had more than one or rarely two friends at a time in my life, ever, and I really have to click with someone to want to spend time with them. I love my husband to pieces and he and my mother are my main social circle. I don't think of myself as shy at all, but I guess I'm picky! :LOL

Hopefully my 'new' friend will become My Friend, over time.


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## MamaMia*

Since becoming pregnant, I've noticed that my few 'friends' contact me less and less and seem to want less to do with me.







So, I guess I am a part of this tribe. I'm also very shy and dealing with high anxiety. Yay me!







: We moved here nearly 2 years ago, and I still don't have any 'friends' here.


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## noorjahan




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## burke-a-bee

Now THIS is my tribe. I have a few friend scattered across the country but we email about once a month and only see each other once a year. Locally I don't have any friends. It can be very isolating not having an adult to converse with daily. We've been in the area for almost 5 years and I haven't met anyone I can really call a friend. There are a few people I can say hi to at my son's school but there is no relationship. I am so glad to have found Mothering and this tribe. I really started to feel that there was something wrong with me.


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## irinam

I have only one friend that is close by. She does not have kids though (yet?)

Other than that I am pretty lonely







and I don't even consider myself shy. Overly picky maybe?

So I guess I am signing up for the "lonely tribe"


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## Attached_Mom_to_7

I'm here too with ya mama's!!! We moved in the city we live in now 6 years ago. I've met some people, but, none that I can ever consider really a true friend, they mostly are either into drugs or just so mainstream(most here have NO problem using a belt).

Anyways, I'm still on a quest to find some AP mama's in my area.


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## frowningfrog

can I join in on this lonely mom party







. I lost all my friends. I dunno why. its not like i dunno where they are. They lost me I lost them It was mutual. nothing happened that im aware of we just drifted apart. i speak to one bout every few months or so but its always me that calls her..so now my only friends are the one that i made online. I talk to my guy but he's a jerk a lot so I ignore him







as much as possible but i think thats mutual as well







. I talk to my children. my 1 yr old thinks im the greatest :LOL and my 9 yr old looks at me sometime time like im a fruit loop. :LOL ..but her and i have some great conversations at night when the baby has gone off to sleep.








But i need some moms to learn from and to grow with.







....


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## *daciaperfect*

i'll be your friends.

i lost many of my friends while pregant and right after having my dd. it was like hey, she settled down now so shes boring. i dont get it but i have heard of others going thru the same thing.

im glad for boards like this. i have met up with moms from here which is really nice because many are like minded in different areas but so diversified at the same time.


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## patchouligirl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *burke-a-bee*
Now THIS is my tribe. I have a few friend scattered across the country but we email about once a month and only see each other once a year. Locally I don't have any friends. It can be very isolating not having an adult to converse with daily. We've been in the area for almost 5 years and I haven't met anyone I can really call a friend. There are a few people I can say hi to at my son's school but there is no relationship. I am so glad to have found Mothering and this tribe. I really started to feel that there was something wrong with me.


Burke-a-bee, i could have written this exact post!! i moved to Virginia 5 years ago and have made NO friends. My son is not in school yet, but i say hello to several moms from library group, know their names..but it never goes past that. i have friends scattered across the country that i see about one a year, but no one hERE. i've been posting in the outcast forum, because i do feel like an outcast mama. i see all the other ladies making plans and getting together and i'm never included. All my attempts at friendship have been ignored, or i've been openly 'blown off'.
Thank goodness for online communities or i would go completely insane. i live in a very rural area, so i have to make an extra effort to get out of the house and be around other people. It is not uncommon for me to go weeks without any adult conversation besides my husband. i definitely feel like a freak or social outcast these days.









TurkeyGW, you are not alone mama. i too am Friendless and lonely.


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## ilovelily

Hi and







to all. I saw this thread and just had to post because this is so me, especially how I'm feeling today.

I just moved out of the country for DH's job. Left behind two friends -- and it took me literally six years to make those two friends. Now I'm back where I started. I think loneliness is one of the worst feelings. When I go to the park I try to talk to people but sometimes I just feel invisible!! I don't know why... people can be so casually cruel sometimes.

What I always struggle with is how to turn an "acquaintance" into a real friend. I guess it takes time but some people seem to do it so much more easily.

Ah well. At least I feel connected to someone typing this. That's a start, right?


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## Theloose

Hi, I'm with you in spirit... I have a great group of friends from hs that I'm around now, but I spent the last couple of years in a town where I had no one besides dh, and he was busy all the time with grad school. And now it looks like we might be moving back...

So this probably isn't the right place to ask :LOL, but what are some good ways of meeting people/making friends? I'm pretty quiet and shy when I'm in a new situation, so going up to random people in a public place is out..









Any ideas?


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## MomBirthmomStepmom

I'm very lonely here.

Last October, dd and I moved 3000 miles to be with SO. I left *all* of my family, and everyone I ever knew behind.

Here, I know SO, and SO's family







I like them, don't get me wrong, but they're not _friends_... I can't call them and complain about SO or being a step-mom etc...

I knew one other mama who lived in town, but she moved to Texas (we're in CA), a few months back









I'm trying so hard to talk with neighbors, and just make friends anywhere, but it's hard. We did have this young couple who lived beneath us and had a baby in May. We were getting close, but their relationship had issues, and they moved. We exchanged numbers, but don't keep in touch









I have you ladies, and feel lucky to have you all, but in-person friends would feel so great...


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## freakyspice

I haven't made a new "real" friend since I married DH 7 years ago. For the first several years we were married we lived in a city with a community we loved, then we moved away. I really didn't need any friends because DH is my best friend. I still keep in touch with people via occasional e-mail, but I'm afraid I've lost the ability to make a new friend since I haven't done it in so long!


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## kewb

Signing up. We moved here 7 years ago and where I have a few moms I know casually from the kids I would not call them friends. I have a couple of friends from where we used to live that I speak with a couple of times a year and through email. I have no one to hang out with. I work full time out of the house and then I come home spend time with the kids and go to bed.

Geeze, I need some friends to go out with.


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## elmama

Hi all,

Ok, I am not really advocating stalking. But here is how I recently made one potentially very good friend. THis might be a bit tricky for the shy people.

So I had noticed this one mama around my little town for a couple of years. (Libray, swimming pool, parks) YOu all know you have to go to these places to meet people right? YOu know how you can just tell that you might like somebody? Well I thought we might hit it off but I never had the guts to talk to her.

Until One day I saw her with her kids in a stroller at the library. I had to run because I had to pick up a friend's babe. But after I picked her up, I decided to track down this potential friend and finally meet her. SO I thought to myself, Where would a mama go on foot from the library in the am with two children. Aha! The coffee shop down the street. WOuldn't ya know. As I drove up she was walking in the door.

I hustled the kids out of the car, did a fast walk to the coffee shop, and slid behind her in line. IT turns out, she offered to hold my infant while I tended to the older children. We chatted about our little ones and how long we'd lived in the area, and if we stayed at home or not, and if we liked it, and what we did before kids, and man these little ones are driving me nuts today...and you get the picture. I ended up leaving with her number and she with mine. It has been a couple weeks and we have hung out 3 times. She has introduced me to several of her friends in the area. We have lots in common and I know she will be a friend for life.

Moral of the story:

Stalking works. Just kidding. Moral of the story is that sometimes taking a chance pays off. What is the worst thing that can happen. She/he will laugh in your face when you ask for the #? MOre likely they just won't call you back if they don't want to be friends. Oh, well. Try again with someone else. There are enough people respodingg to this thread that i imagine there are many many people who want you as their frind out there!


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## gentlebirthmothr

Hi,

I'm in the same boat as all of you expect really don't have any real friends so far in my life, its a long story and not a mom yet, see my signature for more of what I said about this.

Thank you.


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## frowningfrog

well I would like to say that it is a pleasure to meet all of you and I look forward to getting to know you all as well.
It is hard for me to get out and make new friends. I had a very bad year for health and have hardly left the house. I'd say i go out once a week if that, and that has been for a year.
To reveal a little about me, I had my 1 yr old last yr in july, one wk later i hemeraged severly and was very close to death as the doc said. They are not really positive what caused it but they gave me iv antibiotics just in case of infection,and an emergency D&C. I had huge blood clots form in my uterous and had they not given way then i would have died that night in my sleep from internal bleeding.
since then i have had nothing but health issues. I am dizzy daily not all day but at some points during the day say if i had done to much. I still get very tired, and my periods, forget it im sick the whole time, and i was bleeding very heavily till they put me on a high dose estrogen pill and that helps with bleeding control.
So not only did i lose touch with my wonderful friends I havent had much chance to make more.

I would love to know more about you all. there is more to me of corse but i fear ill just keep going on








My fiance and I are two different people, we have some similar interests but he is the type that Im surprised knows what a book looks like :LOL ,and I am very much into reading and making crafts. we meet in the middle i guess








I welcome private messages, I am very







so I prolly wouldnt initiate..


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## ~*max*~

Hi mamas. This tribe describes me as well. I have one very dear friend, my best friend from growing up, but she lives about an hour away and I do not get to see her nearly enough. Then I have several friends who are more acquaintance type friends, who I met through my various activities w/the kids. But that closeness is just not there. I am an introvert at heart, and really need to work to be outgoing & social. I think people may view me as uptight, which I probably am. Also, dh & I are very family oriented, and do not have a lot of extra time. What free time we do have we prefer to spend w/family. Sometimes getting together w/others can be a lot of extra work - finding sitters, cooking, cleaning, juggling schedules. But usually when we do, we are very glad that we did. We just need to make ourselves do it.

Thanks for starting this tribe. It will be nice to talk w/others in the same boat.


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## avivaelona

I have a few really good friends but they all live far away now. I moved to MA four years ago but for various reasons I'm only just now getting out and trying to meet people. I have been meeting quite a few but I have a hard time making that leap from acquaintance to friend. I wish I knew why! Maybe I'm just too odd







I swear though sometimes I just wish someone would be really mean and nasty and just TELL me what the problem is, everyone I've ever asked (mostly good friends) thinks I should have no problem making friends, apparently its all just coincidental? I sort of doubt that! Lol. Oh well, glad to meet all you friendless moms, its nice to know we aren't alone I guess.


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## kbridi

This is a tribe for me. I don't have any friends right now. Actually, I have one, but she's atleast an hour away and doesn't have any kids, so she can't relate. I have a lot of acquantiences (sp) and superficial relationships with people I meet at playdates, the park, moms groups, but no one I can really share with or call if I need a friend. It's not like I havent' been trying, either. I go out and meet people and attend tons of things for ds so I can meet other moms. I have some 'friends' from work who just had kids, but they are far away. It's depressing to sit here an write this, but I'm finally admitting it. I'm friendless.









I must say, I've met some wonderful moms from mdc IRL so, hopefully those relationships will amount to deeper friendships, but who knows. I also don't want these other women to think I'm pathetic or something....It's like dating and looking for a husband!

I would just love to have a girlfriend I could hang out with -- even just one!

Nice to meet you all. Thanks for starting the thread.


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## reiterin

Yep, this is just like me. I'm so shy that it's very hard to meet people. And I'm so bad at keeping in touch with the friends I do have, that I tend to lose them... I don't have any mommy friends IRL at all, which sux.

Good thread. Makes me feel... not so alone.


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## frowningfrog

avivaelona::::
I to live in Mass. I have lives here all my life i just lost touch with my pack.
we just moved to a new town and the neighbors look at us like we are freaks :LOL . I miss my old neighborhood, we knew everyone on the street, and they were all sad to see us go , but circumstances beyond our control moved us here.

elmama:::
great job on the stalking :LOL ..i bet she was totally unsuspecting. thats great you have made a friend..se it does pay off sometimes to be a "stalker"..
I wish your new friendship well.


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## mercurysky

i am in the same boat as well. I moved to be with my husband 13 hours away from family and friends. I am some what shy, and VERY opinionated? I guess that could be the word. And very selective with friends. I used to work retail, so a lot of the people I would encounter at work were big partiers down by the college. not my cup of tea. I did my fair share of drinking also, but at that stage in my life, i didnt want to hear about the weekends binge all week long. My husband is the "everyones best friend' type of person, so I kind of just adopted some of his friends. Then we transfered with work, and now its me, my son, and my husband. I volunteered about 30 hours a week at the local animal shelter hoping to find friends, but none of them wanted friends, just do what they had to do and leave. Now I am looking for new mom groups/play groups in my area to join. I have one friend in this town who is a mom also, but has TOTALLY diff mothering style than me, and she is pulling away lately. HI EVERYONE!! lets all PM each other or trade im [email protected]!


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## tyedyedeyes

Greetings and salutations to all my lonely sistahs out there. Ah, woe is me...i'm in the same boat as all of you...you know, the one at the bottom of the lake? :LOL

Anywhoodle, I've had a couple of good friends throughout my life. I've had one BEST friend since I was oh, I think we were 11 or something. Met in Girl Scout Camp. My best friend actually introduced me to MDC, (THANK YOU!) and other than that, I have another girlfriend that I've known for about 4 years now, but she's off at college so I only get to see her once or twice a year. Other than that, all of my "friends" dissappeared when I became a mom and wife. My sister is my other closest friend, and her SO is a good guy too. I have a guy friend that all he wants to do is party on the weekends (single, no kids), so I usually just end up chatting with him on the phone once a week. Not a big partier anymore...that stage of my life has ended. I have a couple of acquaintences I talk to about every 6 or 8 months from my last job, but again, they just want to meet up and drink. So yeah, I know where all of you mamas are coming from!

Let's be lonely together.

~Kate


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## oetien

I have no friends....
Seems like I can't find anyone I can really relate to.
I used to have bestfriends until I moved, then quit school, then got married, then got pregnant..








I guess most people, especially my age, don't do what I do. I don't know!


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## MomBirthmomStepmom

Well all, I'm trying!!!

I had a best friend, I met her when we were about 6 or 7, and we were close up until last year, when I moved. My number had changed (area code change), and we were in the process of moving to a new apartment (moved 3000 miles away, then within a month moved to a different apartment), and in all the hub-bub, lost touch with her. I tried contacting her after things settled, but her number had changed too, and I lost her









Today is her birthday, and she is on my mind, so I'm tracking her down!! lol Or trying to anyway.

I called the place where she worked when I moved, and she no longer worked there. I then called the place she was considering trasferring to (same company), and she didn't work there either.

I have no personal number for her, but found a number listed for her parents (she lived with them last I talked to her, but was considering moving out). So, I called and left a message for her, and hope someone can give me some kind of info.

I know it's not a local friend I can hang out with, but it's someone I could call and talk to... A friend...

I'm trying slowly.... Wish me luck!!!


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## burke-a-bee

Okay, I couple of you are from Mass. You should get together!


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## ~*max*~

Hi again Mamas. This may sound weird, but are any of you active w/religion? I am not. I was raised Catholic, rebelled against that, began going to a UU church, which I really liked, but then we moved away and I just let it all go. I am probably UU/pagan at heart, but currently not involved in anything. But, sometimes I really feel lonely _in my soul_, if that makes any sense. I am drawn to the aspect of organized religion, but I have yet to make a move. Can anyone else relate?


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## MomBirthmomStepmom

I'm atheist, but I've had thoughts from time to time that if I were religious, I could make friends at a church... It makes me feel bad, because, well, I don't wanna have to pretend to be religious just to make friends... But I feel desperate on some days









Please don't think badly of me...


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## burke-a-bee

I have a friend who has moved several times over the past few years. Her husband is a minister. Wherever they move they have an automatic built in community with the church. Sometimes I really wish I was religious so I could have that benefit but if it isn't in your heart it doesn't feel right.


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## MomBirthmomStepmom

I should probably add, I would never _ever_ pretend to be religious, that's simply direspectful to me...

But, I do wonder if I could handle simply attending a church to meet friends... Then again, that seems disrespectful too







Like I'd be somehow 'using' or taking advantage of the church


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## oetien

I won't go to church to meet ppl. Doesn't seem right to me


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## MomBirthmomStepmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oetien*
I won't go to church to meet ppl. Doesn't seem right to me

That's pretty much what I'm saying too... But on those desperate days, it's a passing thought







One I'm very sad over... Kinda like 'my god, am I THAT hard to be friends with that I'm even *thinking* that?!?!'... The thought passes, and I move on, feeling uncomfortable about the thought, but still lonely and desperate


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## oetien

Yeah, I just started to feel lonely this past couple of months. I'm usually a loner, but sometimes we do need somebody to talk to (other than our family)
Now, I really don't know how to start making friends, it seems really hard...


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## MomBirthmomStepmom

It just does seem so hard, doesn't it? On those really lonely days, I just feel so horrible, like okay, other people make and keep friends, why can't I??

I was a loner too. Was sooo happy for so long with just like 1 friend... But now, I dunno... Maybe it's because I had family there too, and here, I have just the people I live with... Sometimes it's nice to not talk about the same things everyday... I just feel like I have so much more to give... Friendship, an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on when needed, a friend to go out with, someone to confide in etc... But, I dunno, it's just so hard


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## frowningfrog

Hello again lonely friends,
I am a MAss mommie, i will welcome personaly messages just check out my profile for information or just send me a message I will surly get back to you.

I am a non practicing Catholic, I do not believe in organized religion. to me there is something cultish about it and its scary to me :LOL
I do however feel at itne that there is something missing in that aspect. I have tried different religions like Baptist i found it very wonderful but again that cult thing took over :LOL ...
I do believe in the wicca faith althought i have not practiced but have many friends in the past and ones that i have lost touch with are wiccans.
I dunno, I do feel like i need something more but I am still searching that out.

For those mommies looking for a group to maybe meet some moms in your area
check out my sig i run a group for moms in the mortheast on yahoo..moms from all walks of like not just natural moms..
well have a great weekend all...
hope to get to know you al ...


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## melissa_honeybee

I was just thinking about this today...I am soo lonely. I moved to this area 4 years ago and really haven't made many friends. I have some friends with older kids, or no kids...it's really rough, especially without a car...There is a park we can walk to, but it is always heartbreaking to hear the disappoinment in my son's voice as he says, "There is no one to play with.."

I know what you other mamas are saying about joining a church just to find some sense of community... Luckily I have a UU relatively close by, so if our second car gets fixed, I could start going. I Have a few pagan friends that go, so I think I could stomach it...

This area is really conservative and drives me crazy. While i am in relatively liberal SE PA, I happen to live in a real PA dutch area, and most of the people here are just weird and it has a real "townie" atmosphere.

I guess I have always been selective about friends and disillusioned my mainstream society..kinda makes me an outcast...

I sometimes get jealous of my husband, we live in the area he grew up in, so he has contact with alot of HS buddies. I, however, went to 3 different high schools and really don't have anyone that I see from then..

Frowningfrog..that sounds like a terrifying experience you had, glad you have mostly recovered..


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## indie

Well, I guess I should join this tribe. We moved to our area 2 years ago and I still don't have any real friends. I can identify with Melissa since we have only one car. That makes it difficult. I'm an introvert too which plays into it. But I did have a friend here when we first moved here and she and her husband moved away because they couldn't make any friends or find a good church and they are normally very good at making friends so I guess it can't be just a problem with me.

I am a Christian in a very Christian area, but I really don't identify with the strange Christian culture around here. It has taken us 2 years to find a church that we kind of like and we are just starting to try to get to know people. When I had my first baby we had 3 baby showers and a ton of people signed up to bring us food. This time we've had one person ask us about our needs. It is kind of depressing to not have a support system.


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## MamaHippo

I know how it is to feel lonely. I have 2 old friends, both of whom live over an hour away, and I never see them. I have one other very good friend... who lives in Stafford, England







So you can guess how often I see her.
I am lucky to have my mom and sisters close by (well, 25 miles away), so i see them, but i literally have no friends within about a 50 mile radius. The Denver MDC mamas playgroup has been great, cus I have met some of the wonderful moms from here. Sometimes i go out to the grocery store just to see someone other than DS and DH.

Lisa


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## Sustainer

I'm glad to find this tribe! I only have one friend in the local area, and we hardly have anything in common. She has no children, she's not natural or environmentally conscious at all, she's not a feminist, she's not liberal, and she's religious. If I had even one friend in the local area who I had even 2 or 3 things in common with, I would be so grateful. I haven't even seen my one friend that I have nothing in common with for months. I think that she, too, is realizing that we have nothing in common, especially now that I have children, and we are drifting apart.


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## noorjahan




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## burke-a-bee

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MomBirthmomStepmom*
I should probably add, I would never _ever_ pretend to be religious, that's simply direspectful to me...

But, I do wonder if I could handle simply attending a church to meet friends... Then again, that seems disrespectful too







Like I'd be somehow 'using' or taking advantage of the church









I am not saying that I would ever pretend to be religious to meet people. It just seems that the few long distance friends that I have who have children have met people through church, work, school, etc. I don't have any of those things. I find myself thinking about how it might be different if I was in more of a community setting like church, work or school. This doesn't mean that I'm considering going to church and pretending to be religious to meet people. I have too much respect for religion to do this.
I think for me when I'm feeling lonely I start to think of the "what ifs". What if I lived in a smaller town, would I have more friends? What if I had a job, would I have more friends? I know it is a sad way to think. I just start looking at what works for other people and why. I guess that I should start to focus on where I am and just get out there and meet people.


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## MomBirthmomStepmom

So yesterday, I posted about calling an old friend who I lost touch of (even though she lives 3000 miles away, it'd be someone to talk with!)...

Well, she called last night!!!!!!! We exchanged new numbers and talked for a bit about the last year







Yesterday was her birthday, so I'm so glad I took the jump to call her yesterday


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## noorjahan




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## Devaskyla

subscribing, since dh & i don't really have any friends, either.


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## damyen's mommy

Yep...I found a tribe







. I can be shy, but my problem is that after I say hi to someone I have a hard time actually trying to converse with them and get to know them. I have a really good friend who lives 500 miles away from me and although I have a big extended family I don't visit very often because our parenting methods are so differnt. and well no one visits me either







. Anyway good to have found you. I am a nonpracticing catholic, but I prescribe to no one religion. I have faith and I beleifs but I am still on my spiritual journey.


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## ~*max*~

Hi mamas. We had a pretty exciting weekend - found out we are having another baby! That's one cure for loneliness!


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## MomBirthmomStepmom

Congrats ~*max*~!!!!

Our weekend was okay. Saturday was just me, SO and dd hanging out. (dss's weekend with biomom) Sunday, I worked and when I got home SO and I had a fight









Yesterday, the fighting continued, but all ended up okay. We went to SO's mommmmmm's for a bbq, which was fun.

SO has alot of cousins my age, and even a sister who's 6 months older than me. I just always feel so weird trying to befrend them... I can't explain why...


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## Sustainer

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~*max*~*
Hi mamas. We had a pretty exciting weekend - found out we are having another baby! That's one cure for loneliness!

Yipee! Congratulations!!!





















How exciting! I am SO happy for you!


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## kewb

Congratulations on your new addition.

Our week-end was uneventful. Dh invited a couple of friends of his over Sunday for a barbecue. It was a grand old time for me (sarcasm intended) as his 2 divorced for many years friends came over and I got to clean up after them and mind the children. Don't get me wrong-I do adore these 2 men but they spent hours talking technology (DH & Company are all in the computer industry). On Monday I showed my new after school sitter where she would be picking up the kids and where everything is.


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## damyen's mommy

MAX Congrats on the new baby! That is one sure fire cure for feeling lonely








My weekend was spent playing with my boy and dh, I did spend an afternoon with my mom looking at yard sales. It was fun but that is about it.


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## noorjahan




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## ~*max*~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *noorjahan*
Congratulations Max!!!!






























That was sure a great weekend!! If you don't mind me asking how many weeks you are in?

I just found out, so about 6 weeks. I am due May 13.

Thank you everyone for the congratulations.


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## frowningfrog

Congrats MAx...

Wishing you all the best wishes to your family...


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## frowningfrog

hello all..

Wondered if any of ya'll have met or thought about meeting. Since none of us seam to have friends, I was curious??????


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## irinam

Quote:


Originally Posted by *frowningfrog*
hello all..

Wondered if any of ya'll have met or thought about meeting. Since none of us seam to have friends, I was curious??????

I did think about it, but it seems like all of us are too far from one another...

But, if anybody wants to visit me in California - you are more than welcome


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## MomBirthmomStepmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *irinam*
I did think about it, but it seems like all of us are too far from one another...

But, if anybody wants to visit me in California - you are more than welcome









hehe I'm in Ca... Although, it's a LARGE state...lol

I used to live in Jersey, and yes, when you live there, you're within 2 hours of ANYONE else in the state...lol I don't know if I can even say that about my county here in CA though :LOL


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## irinam

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MomBirthmomStepmom*
hehe I'm in Ca... Although, it's a LARGE state...lol

I used to live in Jersey, and yes, when you live there, you're within 2 hours of ANYONE else in the state...lol I don't know if I can even say that about my county here in CA though :LOL

You are right :LOL , I am in San Fran Bay Area, that should put us more then 2 hours apart...


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## Pookietooth

Can I join? I have no family in the area, and haven't really had a close freind that lived nearby since 1994, long before I was a mama. I'm tired of it! It would be so nice to be able to have an adult to talk to regularly!


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## kindacrunchy

Here's my life story. I'm an only child and every friendship I had was the most important thing to me. Kind of like they were my siblings. My nearest and dearest friends I have had since I was 9, but, we live far from each other. Two other close friends I met in college, but, we live far apart. I'm picky about my friends. I want a deep, close friendship, not a superficial one.
Anyway, I met a group of moms while taking a mommy and baby yoga class when my ds was 12 wks old. We all hit it off and have been hanging out at least once a week ever since. But I'm still lonely. Although we have spent so much time together, I've been struggling. I go through phases where I'm very secure and comfortable and then next thing I know I am insecure and uncomfortable. The crazy thing is, I'm the one who got us all together. I like these people. They are good people. I just don't feel like I can really get down to that level of friendship that I crave. I feel that the only thing we have in common is our kids. They only know me as a mom, not who I am as a whole.
Anyway, just got back from a playgroup and was still feeling lonely.


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## frowningfrog

MomBirthmomStepmom :
thats great that you found your old friend...
I hope that you 2 can continue to talk often. Its always so great to talk to someone you havent spoken in a long time...

My fathers family recently we all got together, I have 2 cousins that my eldest brother and I were very close with as kids and then their mom (my dads sister) passed away and for reasons unknown to us we lost touch,..,
so it was so great to reunight(sp).

good luck on staying in touch


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## frowningfrog

Well if anyone lives in the wakefield Mass. area or close to it and would like to go for a walk sometime or hang out by the lake side ..I have a plan to meet up with some women that I do not yet know to go walking ..
Its my attempt to meet new people....
Its a mom and baby walk, or mom and kid walk if your child is over stroller age...
I do not like the heat so its getting to be not so hot anymore so Its time for me to get out there,,,

my name is Christine btw if I havent said so before..


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## fairylotus




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## noorjahan




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## Pookietooth

Irinam, too bad I don't still live there, I used to live in Richmond, CA but we moved north to escape the crowds (not that it's never crowded here, just less so).
Fairylotus, maybe you could manifest for a return call? I do hate it when others don't call back, although I'm such a flake myself sometimes.


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## fairylotus




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## sunanthem

Hi Ladies. wow I just read this whole thread. I have had friends in the past and have friends all over the country, but we moved across the country a year ago and lost our community that was so close. Now its just us. I live in the country and my house is so isolated and we moved to a conservative religious town that is so not me. I know a few folks, I've started school, and am trying to find mom groups but meanwhile I get so lonely... sometimes I cry to my hubby; "I just wish I had some friends" he says I know hunny, they'll come.
I know what its like too to have a baby and have NO support system. It sucks! I had a little girl, she'll be a month old tomorrow and mostly the only folks that visited after the birth were MIL and the midwives! And MIL had to travel 16 hrs. so she was only here 4 days.
Ok, I don't want to get too upset now, but it is so hard not being ab le to share the beauty and joy of my new baby! It makes me sad. And I also hate
that my 2 yo son has no kid friends to play with.
But I'm working on it. I plan to go to many mom groups but most are an hour away in the city.
I've thought of starting my own locally. I've also thought of going to the unitarian church I think that's a great place to meet people. I'm not religious, but very spiritual, and church is for community.
Well i gotta get off and stop rambling.
just wanted to say I hear ya sisters!


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## sweetpeasmom

Sad to say this is a tribe for me. I've had so many good close friends over the year but they always seem to move away! starting to feel like I smell or something







It's like I'm afraid to get a good friend again and bang they are half way across country. I do have quite a few good online buddies but thats not the same. I already know Aviva! (well we never meet) too bad we are on opposite ends of the state.
Christine, I signed up for your group. Wish I lived near Wakefield but I don't.

Quote:

Chinese bus co who charge only $15.00 I think for roundtrip from NYC to Boston!!!! Can you beleive that???
I wonder if thats the same busline that had problems with fires? I know there was 2 of them that went up in flames, yikes! I know it was a chinese name one.


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## hippiemom2

Hello other mamas. I didn't read the entire thread but thought that I would offer some of my advice.

I have moved at least a half dozen times and each of those moves was over 2,000 miles. I know what it is like to come into a brand new town and know no one. It does take time to find others to connect with. I would suggest trying to get a playgroup together. It is an easy way to try and meet some new people. Also, the UU church is a wonderful way of meeting others and they usually have a lot of kid-friendly activities. Also, if they do offer activities that is just for adults they usually offer some sort of childcare. I would highly suggest it. I loved my UU church in Bellingham and am so sad there isn't one very close to the place we just moved in Ohio. I did find one that was only 45 minutes away and will have to check it out.

I would also try hooking up with others via MDC and the tribal areas. I have had great success with this. It is a good way to start a playgroup. I would suggest meeting in a mutual public destination the first time in case they are crazy or something. If you aren't getting much of a response then try posting a flyer in a library, community food co-op, natural foods store, etc. to advertise your playgroup. Hang your flyers in areas that you like to be in and chances are you will find others who like to be there too and at least you will have that in common.

I would also suggest getting involved in some volunteer work WITHOUT the children if possible. Focus in on something that you are passionate about. It could open the doorway for others to see you as something other than mommy and be able to utilize your passions to find others who share it.

I would try and go to the library for story time, the park, or other places in your town where mothers/babies congregate and actually talk to the other mothers. I am not shy and will try and strike up a conversation with any of the other mamas. I have noticed that many other mamas do not speak up. Many are really shy and are just waiting for someone to introduce themselves. Most of the time it will be a positive experience and if you happen to run into a b*tch then you can use that to break the ice with another mama. Or you can just stick your tongue out at her and call her a name like "Pumpkin butt breath" :LOL

I noticed that I had a much harder time finding friends once I became a mama. Plus, it depends upon the region. In California, the people seemed much more approachable and pleasanter than say in Washington (probably because of the amount of sunshine or something :LOL ). The midwest is just awful when you are a dreadhead hippie freak that doesn't shave her pits or legs. I have to wait until people get past how I look and realize that I am just a person underneath the freaky exterior. :LOL But, I am still trying and I know there has to be other freaks out there as well. In fact, I just met someone online today who just moved here from Seattle through MDC and we will try and meet up soon. It takes time, patience, and a lot of getting through the fear of rejection. If you can overcome that fear then you will find that you can be much more open with others and then others will slowly start coming into your lives.

When my daughter was only a year old and my son was three it was almost impossible to find time and energy to be able to meet others. I found myself consumed by the mothering of those two children and no time to actually do something about my loneliness. There were times when I would feel so lonely that it was almost a physical hurt and felt as though it might consume me. I would bemoan my situation thinking why did I have to move so far away again but inevitably it would work itself out. It is all about trust and faith in yourself to be worthy enough to have others like you.

But, as my children have gotten older and become more involved in school/ preschool and other social activities it has become easier. I have had much more exposure to other mommies and I have been much more forward and it has definitely helped.

I bid all of you lonely mamas much luck. Get out there and find yourselves some friends. YOU CAN DO IT YOU ARE A MOTHER AFTER ALL AND MAMAS CAN DO ANYTHING!!!!!!









Peace,
Shelbi


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## slacker_mom

That was a nice post, Shelbi. Thanks.


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## MomBirthmomStepmom

While I appreciate the advice of those who were once in my predicament (or our? I don't wanna sound like I'm talking for everyone!!), it's not as easy as 'go to the park or library', 'go to church', 'volunteer without the kids' etc... Not for me anyway.

I don't drive, and the only thing within walking distance is like a grocery store etc... And that's when it isn't 100+ degrees out...

I'm not religious, athesit in fact, so church is a no-go for me. And well, there just aren't enough hours in the day for SO to watch the kids so I can run off and volunteer or do much of ANYthing without the kids...

I would love those oppurtunities, and am looking for a way to make those somewhat of a reality for me... But for right now, none of those are possible...

Kind of a hopeless feeling sometimes actually...


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## lovemyT

Feeling pretty lonely these days.









I am an introverted mama to a 20 month old DD. I am terrified that DD will be shy like me, so I "force" myself to get out there and mingle. We have been going to music classes and story time for a few months now, but so far no luck getting past the casual chit chat stage. It seems like everyone already knows each other and we are the odd gals out. Sometimes I think it's because I give off the wrong signals...I am shy but I think I come off as *itchy! Trying to work on that. Nice to know I'm not alone.


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## hippiemom2

I didn't want to come off as preachy just trying to offer advice for a predicament that many of us face. Another thing that I found to help especially when I couldn't get out of the house was to do a research project. I am a perpetual student and love to learn so I would assign myself "homework" :LOL

I did projects on sustainable housing, midwifery, tried to research and figure out why communes didn't work in the sixties and why some of the sustainable communities are working today (still working on that one though) etc. Whatever crossed my fancy. I even completed the entire Dulouz legend by Jack Kerouac and tried to understand why "On the Road" was such a significant voice in American Literature. These activities helped me to feel stimulated like I was working with my gray matter and it wasn't just wasting away. Perhaps if you aren't very close to other people you can bring the outside world in by diving into some great books.

Good luck ladies. I hope you find someone to make your journey a little less lonely.

Peace,
Shelbi


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## slacker_mom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lovemyT*
Feeling pretty lonely these days.










I am an introverted mama to a 20 month old DD. I am terrified that DD will be shy like me, so I "force" myself to get out there and mingle. We have been going to music classes and story time for a few months now, but so far no luck getting past the casual chit chat stage. It seems like everyone already knows each other and we are the odd gals out. Sometimes I think it's because I give off the wrong signals...I am shy but I think I come off as *itchy! Trying to work on that. Nice to know I'm not alone.

I often feel this way, but lately I've come to terms with myself a little more, and I've begun thinking that I'd rather set an example of being comfortable with who I am (pretty shy and very introverted) instead of trying to be something I'm not.

My DD shows no signs of introversion... in fact, she's pretty much the opposite, which is a bit of a strain on me!


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## aolinsmama

another lonely mama here. i have never actually felt i belonged in a tribe until this! i have also mutually drifted apart from the one or two friends that i had here. (one used me for childcare a lot, then i couldn't do it, she drifted away (?)) then another friend moved 2 hrs away, we visit but i wish she was back here. i am way far from family, they are in the southeast u.s. and i am in the pacific nw. that is tough. i feel lots of people here are very "closed" or maybe that is just my perception. when i am back home, everyone says hello how are you doing etc. even if they don't know you.
i push myself into playgroups etc. like the previous posters suggested but it is mostly for my children, the mamas never seem to want to connect-or again maybe it is my perception.


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## frowningfrog

noorjahan:
where I live is about 15 minutes away from boston. so im not so much near the city but a reasonable distance if you wanna visit the city.lol..
Ya I dont think a bus that costs 15.00 sounds to safe better to wait till you can afford that 60 dollar tab...boston is worth it very historical.

sweatpeasmom...
Im glad that you joined my group i hope that you like it there. there is all different type of lifestyle moms there and they are a fun group so far.there has been few from MDC that have joined up also.

sorry i didnt get back to you sooner i had surgery this past saturday and i am recovering.Just had some gyno issues fixed no big thing,,,
peace all


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## marybethorama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hippiemom2*
I didn't want to come off as preachy just trying to offer advice for a predicament that many of us face. Another thing that I found to help especially when I couldn't get out of the house was to do a research project. I am a perpetual student and love to learn so I would assign myself "homework" :LOL

Peace,
Shelbi

I do that too. I've been following up on my pre-kid academic interests. I did find it necessary to get out of the house eventually though (just because of the area I'm working in)
Luckily for me my dh was able to take over while I went to the library.

When I'm home I do a lot of decorating, crafting, and of course, reading and computer time. Someday I may take up gardening and try to grow something besides weeds. If the weeds are any indication, I have a green thumb.


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## hippiemom2

I recently did a research project on different types of homes that can be built for cheap and easy to do oneself. I came across a great website wth many cool links. If anyone is interested it is www.ecoaxis.net. It has a great set of links that are organized well about the alternative housing structures.

I had to get out of the house by myself at least once a day. I still feel the need when I am not working to be out of the house a little bit each day by myself. I need time to be me and not just someone's mom. I usually take a nice long walk. It helps me put things in a perspective that made it easier to handle and helps me to walk out the stress and frustration that comes along with the territory.

I can tell that I am not as patient when I don't get to have some time to myself. I try not to be but it just happens. I am only a human being with my own set of limitations.

I feel much empathy towards those mamas who are already extremely shy. I am not shy (obviously) and tend to be an extrovert. Even with my boisterous habits it is still difficult to find people who we feel safe enough with to let into our inner compounds and to truly be part of our lives. I have lived all over the country and there is only a handful of people that I have kept in contact with over the years. I have known hundreds and called them "friends" but really they were just mere acquaintances who filled a specific purpose or common space. It is much more difficult with children. I have moved to an area with family around for the first time since my son was born. It has been a bit weird having family around. I thought I wouldn't battle loneliness here but even with the addition of family the loneliness still comes around every once and awhile.









Good luck to all the mamas, may the goddess bless you with some companionship to make your motherhood journey a little bit less lonely.

Peace,

Shelbi


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## frowningfrog

thank you Shelbi for your kind words and advice..its not to often i find that in people...

its unfortunate for me that i have social phobias but am trying my best to come out of it..its not fair to my children for me to bottle up in my home.

To the group:
I offered before for anyone that would like to meet up to walk or sit in the park...
just wanted to let you know that I will be trying to start that the week after next week, as i just had surgery and cannot do anything till after next week if i am up to it....
sooooooooo..........if you think you live near me or would like to try to gather just let me know ..i will be meeting my aunt to walk with the kids in Wakefeild Mass. at the big lake they have ...she has a almost 4 mo old and my youngest that wil be with me is 1 (well 14 mo to be exact)
hope someone can come...

peace all








Christine


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## Pookietooth

Sigh, so little time, so much to say. It's the middle of the night and I should be sleeping. Anyone read the recent article in Mothering by the mama who takes her kids hiking every morning from 9 am til noon? My though was, besides having no time left to shop for food or do laundry, how about having friendships, both for herself and her kids? I know I haven't managed to make any friends going to playgrounds and organized classes, but at least I am around other adults! Maybe she has friends from pre-parenthood who she can talk to in the evening or something. Silly me, always comparing myself to others.


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## Sustainer

I loved that article! It sounded like a great way to be happy and healthy. It would make you more efficient for the rest of the day, and you could socialize in the evening (and you'd be in a better mood for it too!). I am totally planning to follow that mama's example as soon as I move to the country (hopefully next summer).


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## frowningfrog

hello??..
where are all you mamas?
Feeling lonely here. I havent left my house in a week due to recovering from surgery, and i feel like im gonna burst..








well hope to hear from someone in here soon..
hope all are well


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## noorjahan




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## sweetpeasmom

I'm here. Just been busy. Baby has been getting into everything! I wish I lived closer to Wakefield but I don't. I also get out to library, playgrounds and such it's just the moms just don't quite jive with me. I like my AP playgroup but we are all so spread out, it's hard to meet up regulary. It's seems as this area just isn't too crunchy. I get the stares whenever I wear Megan :LOL I mean I can talk w/the "mainstream" type moms but I just know that I could never really be friends with them, kwim? I actually told one that I wasn't afraid of the chicken pox and the look she gave me, oiy!


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## noorjahan




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## frowningfrog

I had to have a D & C done , also i have abnormal cell growth that could turn into cancer so i had that peice removed (just a wee one), and just some poking round by my doc to be sure that there is nothing else questionable in there. I had a serious complication after birthing Aimee my 1 yr old and havent been right gynocologically since.

I am doing well. Feeling much better now. I am still not allowed to pick up the baby for a few more days. its killing me that I cant pick her up, I usually hold her a lot. But we are getting along well.

sweatpeasmom::
I havent any clue as to why anyone is afraid of the chicken pox....seriously they are a little extreme on this subject..hehe!!!
I had the chic pox all my bros had them as well we are fine and my 9 yr old daughter had them when she was 4 and shes fine ...my gosh. people need to stop worrying so much about little things ...
I laugh at women who think im nuts for worrying about it ...haha!!...they say arent you worried about the affects of the chic pox later in life ..I say no Im more worried about the vax for them hurting my child then the pox....then ya get the eye roll....hehehe!!!

well talk to ya all later









take care ...and be safe if your in the area threatened by this new hurricane...







&


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## MomBirthmomStepmom

Hello ladies!!

I was wondering if maybe any of us would like to exchange emails or something... It's nice getting an e-card here and there, and just a thoughful note as well, to know someone's thinking of you... PM anyone, or email if you'd like to write









Nothing terribly new in my neck of the woods. This past weekend we went on a small family vacation to Laughlin Nevada. It was beautiful!! The drive through the desert, although long and sometimes boring, was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life... I could've stared at those mountains forever....

Laughlin itself was nice too. Our hotel was right on the Colorado River, and just breath-taking. We did some gambling (lost some, won some... Ended up with more 'fun money' in the end though, so it was worth it







)

SO's entire family was there. He's got a sister 6 months older than me, and a bunch of cousins around my age (SO is 8 years my senior). He keeps saying I should hang out with them, but I'm always so scared to... Honestly, just afraid of something happening, and losing yet another family in my life (estranged from my own, and divorced the ex-h... how many more can I lose?







)

So, we spent some time with them, and I've really grown closer to his one sister. I love all of his sisters, but I feel much closer to the one my age now... I can't explain it, but I'm really hoping to try to build a friendship with her... Working on it...

frowningfrog, I hope you're doing better!!

I believe I'm on the verge of a cold







Oh well! I'll survive...hehe


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## ShadowMom

Hi.







Can I join you? I'm a no-friend mama... sigh.

I've never had too many friends... used to be, DH was my best friend, but somehow since I became a mom, he's who I want to complain about the most... LOL. He just doesn't understand what my life is like a lot of the time.

I had one friend I used to kick around with, just so I'd have another mom to do stuff with... but I distanced myself from her when her actions got to be tooooooo much (smoking heavily while pregnant, CIO, that sort of thing).

I joined my local LLL, and have met some really nice ladies there... in fact, one of them was a mom I'd met online already and didn't know it! She invited me to their playgroup, but never sent me the info on it... not sure what to think of that.

DS and I go to the playground every evening when it cools down some (still in the 90's during the day here), but I haven't really met anyone there. There are some odd people at the playground in the evening.

We don't have a MOMS group here, so that's not an option.

Overall, I am feeling kind of lonely and isolated... no one to talk to... my DH and I are having some problems and it would be nice to have a friend IRL.

So, hopefully if I keep getting out of the house I'll hook up with some ladies. I'm a plus-sized mom so I wonder if it just doesn't appeal to people to socialize with me :LOL I think it's a turn-off for a lot of people.


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## MarisaMay

Ooh, can I join this tribe, please? This is my first post, as I am too shy to just jump into the other threads I read. I totally relate to what many of you have already posted. I stay home with my 4 mo. old dd and am kind of missing the adult interaction I had at work. I have never had alot of friends, just many friendly acquaintances. And now, just a baby to keep me company!







I am hoping as she gets older, we will join some play groups and maybe meet other moms, but until then I am glad to have found others in the same boat.


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## burke-a-bee

We had a hurricane this week so my 6 yo had time off from school and it kept us indoors most of the time. Which really makes me miss having friends. Actually I've never known what it is like having friends around as a parent. I see so many moms chatting it up at museums and the park. I can't imagine having a life outside of my children like they do.
Sorry if I sound pathetic.


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## noorjahan




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## burke-a-bee

We have been really lucky with hurricanes in Florida this year. My heart goes out to everyone in LA and Miss. I can't imagine what they are going through.


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## frowningfrog

noorjahan;;
I do not remember exactly what the letters d and c stand for ...but it is when they go in and clean out your uterous. this is my second this year. I had an emergency one a week after the baby came,( last July )cause i got a really serious infection in my uterous and i hemeraged and nearly died , this one was because since then i have had very heavy periods and i also become ill during my period ..(i am bed bound for 7 days) ..so she did that also to see if it will help..cause im trying to aviod a hysterctomy if i can..I am done birthing children , but its a big operation and i would like to avoid it...
they also do them sometimes on women who have a misscarriage and continue to bleed a lot ..with out sounding mean but its a cleaning out process ...

but I am doing well now and feeling back to myself ... this past year i havent been all that healthy due to the infection and massive blood loss so i am still not 100% but i am getting there ...
looking forward to the fall weather ,,that'll perk me up I love the fall...

well have a great day ladies

I would welcome e mails if you would like ..pms as well..whatever..i like meeting new people ...

Christine







&


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## MomBirthmomStepmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *frowningfrog*
I do not remember exactly what the letters d and c stand for ...

D&C stands for Dilatation and Curettage.

It is the same procedure as an early abortion, and some dr's/hospitals will do this when a woman miscarries, even if it's not needed, some will just ask the woman if she wants it done instead of 'waiting to miscarry'. It basically is to clean out the uterus.


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## Sustainer

dilation & curettage


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## Sustainer

cross posted


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## frowningfrog

yes thats it ..thank you...
















christine


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## mjash4

I feel the same as all of you do. I moved only 30 miles away and it's been very difficult finding a friend. I hang out in some groups for the sake of my ds who loves to be around kids but they all go out and I never get invited. There is nothing out here except farm land and I drive ds to activities for pre-schoolers that are considered far for many. They seem snooty and rude always trying to suggest that I change to fit in. I'm me and will always be. My friends are all from different cliques, different interests (some vaccinate, some don't, some bf, some don't) and I never think to pass judgement on them because it's none of my business what they choose to do with their lives. I only care that they have a good heart, could care less if they are popular or not. But my friends live far away, so this will have to do. I'll look for this thread in the future. You all sound like you are all really nice people.
Wishing all happpy thoughts, fond memories, and, of course, friends.


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## 3 Little Monkeys

I haven't read all the other posts - but I'm definitely a lonely mama. I have one IRL friend who is close enough to visit, but she's moving next week and will be an hour away so there goes that option







dh's "solution" to this problem is to tell me to go to work - ya there we go, let me work a menial job that I hate and basically make enough money to cover the cost of child care, and end up being more stressed out than I already am. All of my friends are here - dh calls them my "make believe friends"


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## mjash4

I feel your pain Three Little Monkeys. Where are you from? I go through the same thing every day. But I guess we'll find our way. Just to offer support, I think you already have the most important job that there is. I think that the world will be a better place when being a mom is recognized as such.


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## Pookietooth

h Christine, hope all are well. Not much time to post. Glad I'm not the only shy gal around here. Shy people need friends, too!


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## noorjahan




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## 3 Little Monkeys

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mjash4*
I feel your pain Three Little Monkeys. Where are you from? I go through the same thing every day. But I guess we'll find our way. Just to offer support, I think you already have the most important job that there is. I think that the world will be a better place when being a mom is recognized as such.

I'm in Central CA - born here, but don't consider myself 'from' here. I lived in Southern AZ for most of my life.

It would be nice to have our job recognized for what it is wouldn't it? I'm so tired of people asking me what I do, I say I take care of the kids, or I'm a stay at home mom and they always say "Oh, so you don't work" Ya, you're right, I don't work, I spend all day sitting in front of the tv eating bon bons (what is a bon bon btw? :LOL) letting the little fairies clean house, do laundry and take care of my children. sorry for the rant, sensitive subject for me


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## SillyGigglyGirls

Well I haven't joined a tribe yet..but
I would love to join this one.
I feel like we are always busy, no life whatsoever for us.
Between being with both girls full time, and picking up our oldest daughter (part time - an hour away). Staying at home with the girls, and him at work, school (we barely have time to even spend time with each other). Honestly the only quality time we have is when he comes home from work and school. I make a late dinner for him and I, we talk and then we go to bed. Get up the next AM and start all over again.
Sometimes, I just wanna pause the world...just for the moment.








Anyhow...







"that's my story!"


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## Jilian

Can I join too? I'm a recently divorced mama who moved 1/2 way across the country about a year ago. I left a great supportive AP network of friends back "home" 1,500 miles away.









I've had no luck meeting any friends here. I'm shy - not to mention always busy. I do have a few family members in the area, but no mama friends. I really miss having like-minded mamas to spend time with.

Thank god for mothering.com so I at least have mamas I can talk to who are like me.


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## SillyGigglyGirls

: I have no clue what bon bons are. But I know exactly how you feel. Motherhood I believe some people don't realize that as a parent you want to give "all." Our children requires total commitment in our lives and we are all things, everyday. A nurse, a teacher, a counsellor..etc. I stay at home, knowing that my children "need" me. Once they are in full time, I plan on going back to school. Persue the career I want. But still in that degree of wants, I know that my relationship with my children has to always be before what I want ..even to some degree of what I need. That's what parenting is all about self sarcifice.


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## Our2Girlz

Ohh Can I join too??!! I have 1 friend in eh area and she has multipule titles. Dh's cousin, my day care rovider, but first and foremost she is my friend. She is a lonely mama too as I am her only friend. I only moved to this area 5 1/2 years ago and I have no one not even dh's family (except this cousin) casue tehy all hate me and I think me and dh's cousin get along so well cause they dont like her either. *sigh* such is life there loss not mine.


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## mrsfatty

Just joining you ladies!


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## Peepsqueak

I think I should join too. I have very few if any friends because even though I come into contact with people daily, it is only business as usual types of things. I am lonely because my dh is not really a friend at this point, because he is like a person I have to deal with who is very unpredictable. I cannot lean on him for friendship or comfort for anything. I tread carefully to ask his help for anything. When he does help I really do not care because I have to work so hard to convince him to help and be involved.

I have close friends that are far away and not reachable on a daily basis. I do have church aquaintances but like my privacy so I do not share personal things with them. I have three children I am busy with and meet other parents at the school but everybody is busy just like I am.

I think I can make more effort to get out and meet people though...like my petsitting business I can get to meet other petsitters at the meetings they have once a month. I also want to get involved in groups that do various activities...perhaps training for a marathon, triathalon or something. I may even try to get with a MS150 group to train.

I tried to get with dog training groups but some of them are tricky....it depends on how competitive they are. I am sure I will find some way of getting together with people and making more friends, but I think I can use more friends....especially in a marriage where I feel very alienated.


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## MomBirthmomStepmom

I'm another one who's SO believes if I 'got a job' I'd automtically acquire friends...

Now, I do work on the weekends (10 hours a week, and SO watches the kids... SAHM the rest of the time), but it's a job where I'm around NOONE, and bored all day..lol Crappy job, but grocery money! lol I can't find another job around here that I can get to (don't drive), that works around SO's schedule so the kids don't need a daycare.

Also, why is it some people think work equals friends? SO has been at his job for several years now, and isn't friends with ANYone there. He doesn't like most of them actually...lol So, why would he suggest that if I got a job, it'd mean friends? lol


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## Jilian

I'm not sure why some DP's think a job would = friends. It's not true. Yeah, you might have people that you can talk to, but you would not necessarily make friends with people just because you work with them.

To me it is more important to find a friend who somewhat shares my beliefs on parenting. And it's so hard to find anyone in my area who is into natural parenting. Most of the mothers I've met at jobs I've worked at don't even like being mothers, and openly admit this. I'm not judgemental, but I couldn't see myself relating to a person who dislikes being a mother. I practice AP and am studying to be a midwife, I LOVE babies!

*sigh* sometimes I think I'll never meet any like-minded mamas IRL.


----------



## noorjahan




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## frowningfrog

welcome all new lonely moms .....glad too see a lot of us finding our tribes,
now if we all lived closer to one another problem solved right .. :LOL how I wish.

I am feeling so much better as far as recovery. I havent really picked up the baby yet..i just have been lifting her onto the bed but nothing else just yet ..i wanna be sure i dont break anything ..hehe!! i get nervous about stiff sometimes...
anyhow...i saw the doc last week she said im healing nicely so good..no problems...

well hello to all ..and i am off to bed now ...see you soon








Christine

hugs to all...


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## Magella

Hello, another lonely mama here. It's just hard to meet people I "click" with. I often feel like the only non-mainstream/semi-crunchy/ap mama around here. For whatever reason I just don't hit it off with a lot of people. And I feel noticeably different: I have a visible (in tank tops) tattoo, I have weird short hair (growing out an extremely short 'do), I'm quiet, I carry my babes in slings, we walk to school (which is rare in these parts), my parenting style is different. Dunno. I can meet people and be friendly, but making that connection and becoming friends is rare. I'm nice, really









Well,







Frowningfrog, I see your from Mass., so am I. I saw your link in your sig-are you welcoming new members? I'm shy but I'm interested in meeting new people. My dearest friends live far enough away that we don't see each other much.


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## frowningfrog

Sledg::
I am always accepting new members in the group. we have all sorts of different types of parenting moms so its cool to get to know one another. Im sure you will like it ...its a very non judgemental group
a few from Mass belong and a few from NH also..
Got a few from MDC...as well.
see you in the group.


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## mjash4

Are there any from NJ (Warren County)? Maybe i should move up by all of you. I'm really getting sick of everyone's judgements. But if you don't do what everyone else in the group does, you're out! How are we supposed to teach children about tolerating differences when we don't practice it ourselves. Many a time I've seen these same women who don't tolerate me correct the same type of behavior in their children: "We're all different, Johnny, but that doesn't mean that you can't be friends. You have to be nice to everyone, even if they're different." So, correct it now but when you get older it's a free for all.


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## 3 Little Monkeys

I'm in Central CA - it's rather lonely here. I wish I lived closer to my mom - she's my friend







Dh asked me last night now I could be lonely - I've got 3 girls, 2 dogs (had 3 but we lost one Sunday night) and now a new little kitty. My oldest dd is the only one capable of holding an actual conversation - and she's at school all day - Besides, a 10 yr olds conversations aren't very exciting :LOL I've got no one around who I can hold an adult conversation with - he tells me to call someone - it just isn't the same {sigh} I've just decided that men just don't get it!


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## Our2Girlz

no men dont get it at all!


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## Jilian

I'm way down here in SW FL. It's mainstream parenting land here. Either that or all the AP mamas are hiding from me. Maybe they just don't have computers.

Wait, maybe it's me


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## kewb

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mjash4*
Are there any from NJ (Warren County)? .

I'm in Bergen County. I'm sorry the moms around you do not practice what they preach. Not that they are overly crunchy where I am. I find myself getting crunchier the older my kids get.


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## frowningfrog

no men dont get it..








they do not understand the womans need to bond with another woman. Especially when your a mom.
I wont speak for anyone but I want that mom to mom bond. its almost to me as if its needed...
I have lost touch with all my "hippie" friends. they are all traveling the US.
hope they are well..






















:LOL








Christine


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## mjash4

Kweb and 3 Little Monkeys,
Thanks for responding. Kweb, we'll have to get together sometime. Maybe on a Tuesday. I love and miss the hustle and bustle of counties like Bergen and Essex (where I'm from). I'm semi-crunchie, if I understand the term correctly (holistic), but am just open minded and don't like the fact that I'm automatically labeled a freak for choosing to be careful about certain things. But women can be catty.
And 3 little Monkeys, I know the feeling and just want to say that I'm here for you if you need to talk. You could PM me if you'd like. I feel like you do even though I only have one, but still have lots to do and find that I need that connection with others just to bounce conversations around (a little cerebral, a little girly stuff, etc) and maybe that's because I don't have brothers and sisters. But I'm here if you want to talk.
Thanks again for responding. I'm not used to it. It's a nice feeling to be noticed for the things you say/feel.
Take care of yourselves.


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## 3 Little Monkeys

Should we post a little "get to know you" type stuff? Strengthen our little tribe and get the conversation flowing? I'm not very good at asking questions or introducing myself, but I'll start:

My name is Sherri, I'm a WAHMommy to 3 girls ages 10 (will be 11 in 3 weeks) 4 1/2 and 22 mo. I'm pregnant and due mid February - don't know what we are having, don't know yet if I'm going to find out. We've got 2 dogs, had 3 but one passed away this past Sunday, and we just inherited a kitten - or she inherited us anyway.

I love to read, but have no time for it with the girls - not to mention they won't let me read unless they are asleep, which means I don't get to read much at all. I love scrapbooking - but I'm suddenly miss popularity when I attempt to do that and I just can't do it with little ones getting into everything so I'm over 5 yrs behind :LOL

Guess I'm not very exciting :LOL So who's next?


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## MomBirthmomStepmom

I'm game! Nice to meet you Sherri!!

My name's Jenni, I'm 23 years old. I have a little girly who's 4 1/2, and help to raise SO's son (whom he has custody of), who is 9 1/2. We're not married, but plan on it in the future... When? Who knows...lol We're just happy building our family together.

I'm birthmother to a beautiful little girl, who is 19 months old, and lives 3000 miles away from me.

I'm divorced from a horribly abusive man (dd's biodad), and we made the move from NJ to CA in Oct of 2004. He wants to terminate parental rights, which is perfectly fine by us, as DD considers SO her daddy, and he wants to adopt her.

Am I a soap-opera yet? lol

I have a job for 10 hours per week on the weekends, but am a SAHM otherwise. We have 2 hamsters who are my babies until we feel ready to have a child together









I *love* music, and am addicted to the TV show 'Lost'. I can be found most days hanging out on the Television forum...lol 'Lost', 'Big Brother', 'Amazing Race', 'CSI'...lol I'm kind of a boring person, I think...
















Who's next?


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## Sustainer

I'm Alice and I'm a 30 year old SAHM. I have two children. My daughter is 4 1/2 years old and my son is 19 months old. My partner and I are not legally married and we don't ever want to be. Today is my partner's 30th birthday.

My obsession right now is cloth diapers and I can usually be found hanging around the diapering board.


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## MomBirthmomStepmom

WOW! Us last 3 all have 4 1/2 year olds...hehe


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## kay4

I so belong in this tribe







I have lived here for over 2 years and hve no IRL friends. I have longtime friends in other states that I talk to a few times a week on the phone, but it would be so nice to have a like-minded mama to hang out with in my own town. I am Kelly, 29 yo and a military spouse. I have 4 dc (G-10, G-7, B-4, G-1) and 1 dss (17) I am going to my first LLL meeting next month and am hoping to connect with someone there


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## frowningfrog

Ill be next....
I am no good at intro's Im better at answering questions but Ill try....

My name is Christine, 31 yrs old ..mom of 2 girls Anastasia(anna) is 9 yrs old born may 13 1996 ,,,I wasnt planning on anymore when my little miss Aimee came along she is now 1 yrs old july 12 2004.
I am not married and never was and really wish not to be ...however I do live with Aimee's dad.
I do not work right now, ..I raised Anna alone and had to put her in Daycare ..I hated every second of it...now I get to be with them both and I think thats where I need to be right now , but if we should need the money of corse ill go to work..
We have one cat ..she is the greatest ..shes all black and bf named her deamon ..how nice...she is the extreme opposite thank goodness....she actually acts more like a dog if you throw her toys for her to chase after she will bring it back to you as if your playing catch with a dog and she will do this for hrs on end.. :LOL Aimee loves to pin her to the floor and oddly the cat loves it so be it ..
I to am seriously addicted to the tv show Lost its soooo great...also CSI:lv, survivor, amazing race..so you know where im at on those night ..planted in front of the TV.. :LOL
I alos like to read but where to find the time is the problem......
I hang out on Yahoo messenger a lot ...I run a moms group for all types of moms on yahoo..(link in my sig) iTs going well and I have lots of great moms in there

wow I feel as if I am rambling on and on .soo ..enough















&








Christine


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## Jilian

Nice to "meet" all of you!

My name is Jilian, I'm 26 and have one DS who is 2.5 yrs. I have been seperated for a little over a year. Last year most of family (including DS's dad) moved from Boston to SW FL. I left a great supportive AP group of friends back in Boston









I work about 28 hrs a week from home (here comes the part most people find strange) I work for DS's dad (my ex husband). We are still friends, we just didn't work well as a married couple. DS goes to daycare 3 days a week for 6 hrs each day. It gives me time to get work done (that I can't do w/him around) and it gives him some interaction with other children his age.

We just had a house built and moved into it last month.







We just adopted two cats from our local shelter too







I am a labor doula and an aspiring midwife. I hope to start midwifery school within the next 6 mos or so.

I think thats enough about me


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## kewb

Hi, I'm Kathy. As for age-lets just say I am closer to 40 then 30. I am a WOHM to my not so little Munchkins. Blake is 7 and Mikaela is 5. DH (Andrew) and I will be married 13 years this December. We live in New Jersey and I am originally from Long Island. We also have 2 fur babies or cats-Samantha Catz & Tasha Yar.

Mjash4- I would love to meet during the week, but it would only be for my lunch hour. If you can hold out until November I will be off from work on the 10th & 11th.


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## 3 Little Monkeys

So nice to meet everyone!


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## 3 Little Monkeys

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MomBirthmomStepmom*
WOW! Us last 3 all have 4 1/2 year olds...hehe









And all 3 are girls - can you imagine what it would be like if we got them all together







:LOL


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## 3 Little Monkeys

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MomBirthmomStepmom*
I'm game! Nice to meet you Sherri!!

My name's Jenni, I'm 23 years old. I have a little girly who's 4 1/2, and help to raise SO's son (whom he has custody of), who is 9 1/2. We're not married, but plan on it in the future... When? Who knows...lol We're just happy building our family together.

I'm birthmother to a beautiful little girl, who is 19 months old, and lives 3000 miles away from me.

I'm divorced from a horribly abusive man (dd's biodad), and we made the move from NJ to CA in Oct of 2004. He wants to terminate parental rights, which is perfectly fine by us, as DD considers SO her daddy, and he wants to adopt her.

Am I a soap-opera yet? lol

I have a job for 10 hours per week on the weekends, but am a SAHM otherwise. We have 2 hamsters who are my babies until we feel ready to have a child together









I *love* music, and am addicted to the TV show 'Lost'. I can be found most days hanging out on the Television forum...lol 'Lost', 'Big Brother', 'Amazing Race', 'CSI'...lol I'm kind of a boring person, I think...
















Who's next?

Another CA mama! I'm in Central CA, about a half hour north of Fresno


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## 3 Little Monkeys

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sustainer*
I'm Alice and I'm a 30 year old SAHM. I have two children. My daughter is 4 1/2 years old and my son is 19 months old. My partner and I are not legally married and we don't ever want to be. Today is my partner's 30th birthday.

My obsession right now is cloth diapers and I can usually be found hanging around the diapering board.

















: to your SO! I hang out in diapering quite a bit - my youngest is potty trained already, but I'm planning a stash for the new baby - it's so addicting!!


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## 3 Little Monkeys

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kay4*
I so belong in this tribe







I have lived here for over 2 years and hve no IRL friends. I have longtime friends in other states that I talk to a few times a week on the phone, but it would be so nice to have a like-minded mama to hang out with in my own town. I am Kelly, 29 yo and a military spouse. I have 4 dc (G-10, G-7, B-4, G-1) and 1 dss (17) I am going to my first LLL meeting next month and am hoping to connect with someone there

Kelly, LLL is a good place to meet people - hopefully you can connect with someone


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## 3 Little Monkeys

Quote:


Originally Posted by *frowningfrog*
I to am seriously addicted to the tv show Lost its soooo great...also CSI:lv, survivor, amazing race..so you know where im at on those night ..planted in front of the TV.. :LOL
I alos like to read but where to find the time is the problem......Christine

Hi Christine! I've never watched Lost (was never able to sit down to watch it last season - the kids always seemed to act up) but I am a die hard survivor and CSI fan! Thursday's are my "leave me alone I'm watching tv" nights - I just wish the kids would abide by that :LOL


----------



## 3 Little Monkeys

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jilian*
Nice to "meet" all of you!

My name is Jilian, I'm 26 and have one DS who is 2.5 yrs. I have been seperated for a little over a year. Last year most of family (including DS's dad) moved from Boston to SW FL. I left a great supportive AP group of friends back in Boston









I work about 28 hrs a week from home (here comes the part most people find strange) I work for DS's dad (my ex husband). We are still friends, we just didn't work well as a married couple. DS goes to daycare 3 days a week for 6 hrs each day. It gives me time to get work done (that I can't do w/him around) and it gives him some interaction with other children his age.

We just had a house built and moved into it last month.







We just adopted two cats from our local shelter too







I am a labor doula and an aspiring midwife. I hope to start midwifery school within the next 6 mos or so.

I think thats enough about me









Hi Jillian! I think it's great that you and your ds's dad are still friends! It makes it so much easier on the kids involved. My parents were horrible to eachother for so long after they divorced, it was so difficult for me and my brother - theya re great friends now, but I wish they would have been friendly when we were growing up.


----------



## 3 Little Monkeys

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kewb*
Hi, I'm Kathy. As for age-lets just say I am closer to 40 then 30. I am a WOHM to my not so little Munchkins. Blake is 7 and Mikaela is 5. DH (Andrew) and I will be married 13 years this December. We live in New Jersey and I am originally from Long Island. We also have 2 fur babies or cats-Samantha Catz & Tasha Yar.

Mjash4- I would love to meet during the week, but it would only be for my lunch hour. If you can hold out until November I will be off from work on the 10th & 11th.

Hi Kathy! My oldest dd's name is Mikayla, she'll be 11 next month







Are you a Star Trek fan as well? Dh and I used to watch all the time, but it isn't on tv anymore dang it!


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## 3 Little Monkeys

well I've







enough this morning, just trying to get the conversation going


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## SillyGigglyGirls

Well this morning has been great except I kept reminding myself to look for my bracelet that my b/f gave me for my B-day. I can't find it!!! I may have taken it off in the van (the van is basically another room in the house LOL!!) Anyhow, two kids in school and one kid just came home a few mins ago. Nothing really exciting! I am looking at the task ahead of me..CLEANING! I got most of my clothes sorted, and organized! I MADE IT FIT! (for those of you that read my lost post about CLOTHES EVERYWHERE! They were gonna fit in those damn drawers even if I had to fold them small!







I am usually on the computer on certain times (not much) though! We get our oldest daughter today! I miss her so much throughout the week. Friday is going to be a blast, since we have drs appointments, groccery shopping to do, dressing shopping for my cousin's wedding on Sat., hair cut for my b/f (looks like Elbert E. - with his hair growing out!) We are planning a movie night just the two of us tonight, since he has no work, or school tomorrow! It's been a long time since we have had time together ..alone even. Anyhow, that is my day today!


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## 3 Little Monkeys

Wow Kate! I got exhausted just reading about your day! I have an order I need to get packaged up - It's going to be heavy though so dh will have to take it to FedEx tomorrow for me, no way am I shipping it USPS if it weighs this much! I've been trying for 2 days to clean/organize my room but it just isn't happening. The kids always seem to get into things or start fighting or need something as soon as I get busy cleaning. I've got to get things organized before the baby gets here though! I have 5 months, but that's going to go by fast!


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## SillyGigglyGirls

LOL I get exausted waking up and thinking about my day! I guess, sometimes it's overwhelming and other times I am able to just roll with the waves around here. I don't get much time for myself. Trust me! That is why I JOINED HERE! It's a different kind of lonely. It's not lonely as if there is nothing to do, its lonely as always getting so busy (and not able to do anything I WANT!!!) We went away this past weekend, to the United States to visit a friend. Bottom line of the story, I got frustrated with my b/f because we go, go, and go and I never get to do anything I wanted to do. His friend ended up in the hospital, that put a downer on our plans. An hour and a half later, in the hopsital room (3 girls, fighting, whining, screaming, having a fit) YES- IT WAS MY TURN! After all, the end of my b'/f's and his friend's conversation was "yea we will get together for sure, just call me and give me a day and time." I huffed in the hall, and his sensitive response," Are you mad at me?" Ofcourse the normal answer," No!" Then he goes," What is wrong?" I reply," Absolutely nothing." Just then he basically says," Well that is normally your response when you are upset." So out with it." I basically said," I can't have a conversation at all with our friend, the girls are screaming, and fighting, and there is you all calm and expect me to handle everything and you are making PLANS already! He responded," My plans include you hun." I was like NO, I DONT WANT TO GO - SO I CAN BE BORED? I WANT TO DO WHAT I WANT TO DO!!! Well, he took me to Olive Garden because that was something I wanted! LOL..get this, he told me to ORDER ANYTHING ON THE MENU! ..13.00 dollars later, I was a satisfied woman! Oh and he dealt with the girls, while I enjoyed my meal in peace. What can I say, he is a sweetheart
but yea it gets lonely as far as being able to do what I want to do. I guess that is part for the course of being a full time parent and spouse!


----------



## rainbowfairymomma

Hi mommas!









I wanted to join you all! I haven't been able to read the thread yet but I'll try :LOL :LOL

I'll introduce myself, I'm amanda momma to Logan and Phoenix and wife to Ed. We are currently living in VA and moved here from Australia. (My hubby is from AUS i'm from MD) We've been here almost 2 years and I have yet to make any good/close friends. I can never seem to find like minded mommas







I feel so out of the loop in our natural thinking sometimes









Just wanted to say hi and also I'd LOVE a pen pal!!







PM me if your interested!!!


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## forest~mama

Hi everyone~
I'm new here also. I have lived in the same small town for 8years, but since I have gone back to college, I have lost many of my friends. I go to school online, so I don't even get the chance to meet new people. A few years ago, I decided that I was tired of being the friend who did everything for everyone else, and got nothing in return. So, I broke my ties with them. It has been very lonely, but I am a lot less stressed, and sad. I am having my first baby in February, and I feel so lucky to have my dh, who is my best friend. We hope to move to a more AP town in a few years after I am done with school. Hopefully I will meet some new people there!


----------



## JenniferH

The friends I've had for 20 years or so still keep in touch, but we never spend any time together. One can't because she lives in HI and is stationed in Diego Garcia. I doubt we will ever get to hang out in real life again, but I'm hopeful. She wants to get out of the military, but hard to find a civilian job that can support her 4 kids.

I really miss just hanging out and shooting the breeze. It seems like the issues in my friends' lives keep them so busy that even a phone call is out of the question. I'm almost to the point of giving up on one. She doesn't bother to call or return calls and I haven't seen or heard from her in months. I'm usually the one to pick up the phone. How hard is it to take 5 minutes to pick up the phone and say "Hi"?

At what point do you mourn the loss of a friendship and just move on?

The town I live in just seems dead. No one wants to have fun anymore! I miss living in a place where I can find one or two people to have dinner with or a cookout, or drink a bottle of wine. It's very frustrating.

I love my little family, but I REALLY need interaction outside my family unit sometimes.


----------



## frowningfrog

Jennifer:

I to have a friend (if you can call her that) like that ..I always call, or e mail her she never does me. Its not like I call her daily I call her once a month if that but your right if I can find the time at least once a month why she cant do the same...
We have been friends for 9 yrs ...what gives?
I guess its time to move on..
good luck ..


----------



## kewb

Quote:


Originally Posted by *3 Little Monkeys*
Hi Kathy! My oldest dd's name is Mikayla, she'll be 11 next month







Are you a Star Trek fan as well? Dh and I used to watch all the time, but it isn't on tv anymore dang it!

My dh is really the big trekkie. I did enjoy watching it with him. Out of all of them Captain Janeway was my favorite. The cat got her name because DH found her in an abandoned building and she appeared to be an orphan. He felt her start in life mirrored that character.


----------



## kewb

I have found the time to move on from a friendship is when I suddenly realize that I am the one putting all the effort in. I have some friends where we go months without speaking and then one of us picks up the phone and it is as if no time has passed. Other's I found with the passage of time our lives took different paths and we had no common ground anymore. Those are the ones I move on from.


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## 3 Little Monkeys

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~lioneyes~*
Hi everyone~
I'm new here also. I have lived in the same small town for 8years, but since I have gone back to college, I have lost many of my friends. I go to school online, so I don't even get the chance to meet new people. A few years ago, I decided that I was tired of being the friend who did everything for everyone else, and got nothing in return. So, I broke my ties with them. It has been very lonely, but I am a lot less stressed, and sad. I am having my first baby in February, and I feel so lucky to have my dh, who is my best friend. We hope to move to a more AP town in a few years after I am done with school. Hopefully I will meet some new people there!

Hi Chelsea! I recognize you from our DDC - I'm due with #4 in mid February - well my "official" due date is March 1, but I have yet to make it to my due date so I'm not expecting to hit it with this one either :LOL


----------



## 3 Little Monkeys

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JenniferH*
I really miss just hanging out and shooting the breeze. It seems like the issues in my friends' lives keep them so busy that even a phone call is out of the question. I'm almost to the point of giving up on one. She doesn't bother to call or return calls and I haven't seen or heard from her in months. I'm usually the one to pick up the phone. How hard is it to take 5 minutes to pick up the phone and say "Hi"?

At what point do you mourn the loss of a friendship and just move on?

I hear you! My best friend and I were roommates for a long time, she helped me raise my youngest dd for 4 yrs! when dh and I got married, we moved from AZ to CA and I'm lucky if she calls me 3 times a year - usually I'm the one calling her, and when I do, she spends more time talking to her kids than she does to me, drives me crazy. I've pretty much given up, the last time I went to AZ to visit my mom, I didn't even tell her I was there.


----------



## 3 Little Monkeys

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kewb*
My dh is really the big trekkie. I did enjoy watching it with him. Out of all of them Captain Janeway was my favorite. The cat got her name because DH found her in an abandoned building and she appeared to be an orphan. He felt her start in life mirrored that character.

Janeway was my favorite as well - dh and I really liked the new series, Enterprise, but they took it off the air. Oh well, not like I don't have enough tv to watch as it is :LOL


----------



## noorjahan




----------



## 3 Little Monkeys

Welcome Noorjahan!

Where are you from originally?


----------



## frowningfrog

Welcome all new ladies to the tribe!!!!!!!!!
















Christine


----------



## noorjahan




----------



## 3 Little Monkeys

Quote:


Originally Posted by *noorjahan*







thanks. I'm not new though to this tribe, however, you are very nice!!!









I'm from Bangladesh- "Dhaka".

Sorry - I haven't read through all the previous posts yet







maybe I should do that huh :LOL Nice to meet you though







I had a friend in college who was from Bangladesh, goodness, I haven't heard from him in years...


----------



## noorjahan




----------



## 3 Little Monkeys

Quote:


Originally Posted by *noorjahan*
Just curious have you ever had Indian/Bangladeshi food? Anyone here? If you had did you like it?

Arif (my friend) made something with curry - it's been so long I can't remember exactly what it was. I'm not a big curry fan so I didn't much care for it - that's the only thing I ever had though


----------



## *daciaperfect*

i love curry. i have also had some lentil and garbanzo dishes that were good as well.


----------



## mjash4

I guess I'll be last for the evening..... I'm Adriana and I am a WAHM and just moved last year to Warren County, NJ. I have a son, Justin 4 1/2 and would love another one (if allowed). My ds is also a trekkie and is into Star Wars stuff. I sell Sensaria products (natural skin care and body care products) and enjoy talking with all kinds of people. I have 2 kitties and I love so many things that I'd probably bore you. Love anything organic and love just descent, down-to-earth people who aren't out to prove anything. I didn't get a chance to read everyone's posts tonight, it's a late night for me tonight. I'll get there.
Hope to see you in November, KWEB.
Toodles!


----------



## kewb

Quote:


Originally Posted by *noorjahan*
Just curious have you ever had Indian/Bangladeshi food? Anyone here? If you had did you like it?

Indian/Bangladeshi is one of the few foods I have not tried, yet. I find the smell of Curry to be very strong so we have not ventured that way yet. The closest I have come is with a vegetable dip I make that uses curry.
I do love trying new foods though, so one of these days.


----------



## frowningfrog

noorjahan::
I have eaten Indian food before...It was rather hot but delicious all the same..
When I was 20yrs old I dated a A man from Paskistan I think..and he took me out to an Indian restauraunt.....
Also ..one of my aunts was married (now divorced) to a palistinian man, when I was 19 i went to loive with them for while and we were often at his families house for dinner ...good stuff..


----------



## Fanny1460

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HeartofaChild*







: I have no clue what bon bons are. But I know exactly how you feel. Motherhood I believe some people don't realize that as a parent you want to give "all." Our children requires total commitment in our lives and we are all things, everyday. A nurse, a teacher, a counsellor..etc. I stay at home, knowing that my children "need" me. Once they are in full time, I plan on going back to school. Persue the career I want. But still in that degree of wants, I know that my relationship with my children has to always be before what I want ..even to some degree of what I need. That's what parenting is all about self sarcifice.


Bon bon = sweets


----------



## rainbowfairymomma

Quote:

Originally Posted by noorjahan
Just curious have you ever had Indian/Bangladeshi food? Anyone here? If you had did you like it?
I



































Indian food :LOL :LOL :LOL Its my favorite! Hubby and I are pretty poor but whenever we have a special date or something we go to the Indian place!







Its GREAT!


----------



## MotherWhimsey

We had Naan and saffron rice tonight for dinner...

I want to jump on the bandwagon if I may. Dh has some friends, but I don't. The most social interaction I get in a week is with the bag boy at the store. I just don't break into groups well, so with LLL and stuff, I go, but haven't really done anything with anyone there.


----------



## kewb

Sounds like my dh. He has friends and gets together with them occasionaly. Stick him in a room with strangers and he is able to make friends.

Yesterday I went shopping by myself. I had a great time being without the kids but it would have been nice to have a girlfriend with me. *sigh*


----------



## frowningfrog

Ya. same w/my guy...he is so talkative to everyone makes me mad sometimes ..lol...

my neighbors across the street had a yard sale yesterday, they have a 1 yr old son..same as my daughter. do you think I went over there to take a peek and say hello to my neighbors ..noooo......grrrr..I hate being so shy!!


----------



## noorjahan




----------



## noorjahan




----------



## Sustainer

I don't see your post twice.

Thank you for telling me about Chicken Tandoori. If I'm ever in an Indian restaurant that's what I'll order. I don't like hot foods.

I'll have to remember that name. Tandoori. Tandoori. Tandoori.

Maybe I'd better just write it down. :LOL


----------



## burke-a-bee

I ask my DH if he is running for office because he has to say something to everbody. But I don't mind that he's outgoing, we balance each other out.


----------



## 3 Little Monkeys

Quote:


Originally Posted by *noorjahan*
yes, it's hot but veryyy tasty!!!

I love Arabian food too, however, it is not "hot" for me.I like falafel ..yummy!!

Those who haven't tried Indian food or do not like curry:

You can try Indian food without curry. I heard about it so many times as if Indian food is all about curry-it makes me wanna cry. There are so many other yummy good stuffs!! If you are in an Indian/Bangladeshi restaurent try these: Chicken Tandoori( red colored clay oven grilled-not hot at all), Dal(lentil soup), Shaak Paneer(spinach or anyother green leaves with cheese), Kabas (there are varities -we'd two types last night, still there are leftovers, hmm, I'm going to eat now!) all sorts of Breads and rice....yummy

















You're making me hungry! Of course at 19 weeks pregnant, it's not difficult to make me hungry :LOL


----------



## 3 Little Monkeys

Quote:


Originally Posted by *frowningfrog*
Ya. same w/my guy...he is so talkative to everyone makes me mad sometimes ..lol...

my neighbors across the street had a yard sale yesterday, they have a 1 yr old son..same as my daughter. do you think I went over there to take a peek and say hello to my neighbors ..noooo......grrrr..I hate being so shy!!

My dh is like this, he can walk into a room and within 20 minutes he knows everyone's name and their freaking life story! Me on the other hand, I walk into a room and look for the nearest corner to hide







: I'm not at all outgoing and have always been extremely shy. I make myself mad sometimes because of it.


----------



## noorjahan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *3 Little Monkeys*







You're making me hungry! Of course at 19 weeks pregnant, it's not difficult to make me hungry :LOL

Hey, Congratulations!!!!!


----------



## noorjahan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sustainer*
I don't see your post twice.

Thanks.

Thank you for telling me about Chicken Tandoori. If I'm ever in an Indian restaurant that's what I'll order. I don't like hot foods.

I'll have to remember that name. Tandoori. Tandoori. Tandoori.

That was funny..... :LOL :LOL :LOL
Maybe I'd better just write it down. :LOL

.


----------



## 3 Little Monkeys

Quote:


Originally Posted by *noorjahan*
Hey, Congratulations!!!!!
















Thanks!


----------



## noorjahan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *3 Little Monkeys*
Thanks!









Do you know the gender of the baby? Or it's surprise?


----------



## 3 Little Monkeys

Quote:


Originally Posted by *noorjahan*
Do you know the gender of the baby? Or it's surprise?

I have my ultrasound scheduled for the 12th, dh wants to find out the gender, but I want it to be a surprise this time. This is our last baby (#4) and I found out with all three of the girls so I thought it might be nice to wait until the birth this time. He can find out, but he can't tell me or anyone else then because his family can't keep a secret to save their lives. FIL would be teasing me about it every time he saw me and would eventually tell me whether I wanted him to or not and I don't want to find out that way. I've got issues with FIL, can you tell? :LOL


----------



## burke-a-bee

When are you due?


----------



## 3 Little Monkeys

Quote:


Originally Posted by *burke-a-bee*
When are you due?

My doctor has my due date as March 1, but 1) his dates and mine are different and 2) I have yet to make it to my due date so I say this babe will arrive sometime in mid February


----------



## burke-a-bee

I'm due with #4 (I have 3 boys) April 1st. Right behind you.


----------



## 3 Little Monkeys

Are you going to find out the sex of this baby? I've got 3 girls so we're hoping for a boy this time - but dh swears it's another girl


----------



## burke-a-bee

Yes definately. I'm hoping for a girl but everyone who looks at my belly says boy. I hope to find out in a couple of weeks.


----------



## 3 Little Monkeys

Good luck with that - I hope you get a good look









Time for me to get little ones in bed. Have a nice night!


----------



## frowningfrog

Quote:


Originally Posted by *3 Little Monkeys*
My dh is like this, he can walk into a room and within 20 minutes he knows everyone's name and their freaking life story! Me on the other hand, I walk into a room and look for the nearest corner to hide







: I'm not at all outgoing and have always been extremely shy. I make myself mad sometimes because of it.


LOL scary>>> :LOL
you and I could be the same person...


----------



## frowningfrog

little help...
I seam to be confused......








I havent really heard many of these terms being used in the threads to describe oneself.. I have never heard any of my friends say oh I am this and I am that...
You are prolly all gonna laugh at me what whatever right ..hehe...
what do people mean by crunchy and granola.
thanks...silly me


----------



## Sustainer

crunchy/granola = natural

sometimes implies "hippie"


----------



## 3 Little Monkeys

Quote:


Originally Posted by *frowningfrog*
LOL scary>>> :LOL
you and I could be the same person...


















I knew I had a twin somewhere! :LOL

When I was in high school I used to go through a line at the store, or the drive thru or something similar and the cashier would say "weren't you JUST here?" I'd say no and they would say that someone who looked exactly like me had just been in there. It was weird, and I started to get a little freaked out about it after awhile :LOL


----------



## 3 Little Monkeys

Quote:


Originally Posted by *frowningfrog*
little help...
I seam to be confused......








I havent really heard many of these terms being used in the threads to describe oneself.. I have never heard any of my friends say oh I am this and I am that...
You are prolly all gonna laugh at me what whatever right ..hehe...
what do people mean by crunchy and granola.
thanks...silly me









not silly at all - I was here for about 6 months before I felt confident enough to ask that question. It made sense though once someone explained it to me.


----------



## MomBirthmomStepmom

LMAO this was for a different thread...lol


----------



## Rogercol

Hey ladies-
Thought I'd jump in this conversation... not because I'm a mama, but because I'm a little bit lonely...
By way of introduction:
My name is Niccole, and I live on the North Shore of Massachusetts. I am not outwardly shy, but have few friends around here, and am always worried about looking foolish when I try something new. So, I don't really like doing things, like joining groups, alone. It took me ages to get up the courage to post on these boards, because I worried about sounding silly. My best friend lives about an hour away, and is busy with her own buisness, my one college friend is dealing with her own lonliness in Kentucky, (a bit far to travel). I don't really feel the need for daily updates and letter exchanges with either of these women, since once we call or get together, its like we were never apart, and I know that if I really need them, distance won't keep them away. However. I've lived here going on five years, and have no real girl friends in the area. The women I hang out with are the wives and girlfriends of my boyfriend's buddies (who he's known since highschool). I enjoy palling around with the guys, fit in really well with them, but can't get chummy with the girls. We no longer share the same interests (not that we ever really did) I've mostly lost touch with them as they've gotten married and started having babies. That's not because I dislike babies... but I don't really share the same views on child rearing. They mostly think that my ideas on Natural Parenting are quaint at best, and that I'll wise up once I have my own. Not quite the support group I'll be looking for, come my turn.

I think its interesting that I found this thread today, since I came into my house so very uhappy, needing the friends I haven't been able to make. I came home tonight fresh from a visit to my new primary care doctor, facing a confirmed diagnosis of Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome, and an overwhelming schedual of blood work, and ultrasounds, and nutritionists and endocrinologists, and medication changes... and my dear, sweet boyfriend who feels he has to fix everything, asked me "what's your plan". I couldn't answer, because how do you plan for any of that?? Who makes the contingincy plan for the unexplained blood pressure spike that panics your doctor, or the sheer terror that all the things your other doctors have been telling you not to worry about really ARE a problem, or the devistating possablility that you won't be able to have those beautiful, well adjusted babies that you so desperately want??? I didn't. And all I wanted to do was talk to my mom, but she was out with her friends and I had to leave a message...

Well. Wasn't planning that rant... thnk you for joining my pity party. I promise its over









Niccole

FrowningFrog- I don't live very far from you if you wanted a walking partner... we could compare book lists. Let me know when you are feeling better, and up for a stroll around the lake.


----------



## Rogercol

Oh- and I really like Indian food too... Lamb Byriani is my favorite.

Niccole


----------



## frowningfrog

Quote:


Originally Posted by *3 Little Monkeys*
I knew I had a twin somewhere! :LOL

When I was in high school I used to go through a line at the store, or the drive thru or something similar and the cashier would say "weren't you JUST here?" I'd say no and they would say that someone who looked exactly like me had just been in there. It was weird, and I started to get a little freaked out about it after awhile :LOL

:LOL :LOL
Wow !!...that is freaky. .Maybe someday you will run into that person..wouldnt that be even freakier...


----------



## frowningfrog

FrowningFrog- I don't live very far from you if you wanted a walking partner... we could compare book lists. Let me know when you are feeling better, and up for a stroll around the lake.[/QUOTE]

Welcome to the thread..It is nice to meet you.
that was so rude when them people said to you that you will come to your senses when you have children. Seriously some people are just plain mean.

As of right now I am pretty much home bound for at Least a few more weeks. My guys car has broke and we cannot afford to fix it so he is taking my car to go to work...grrrrrr...Its ok anyways I. We moved not to long ago and I am not happy with our set up yet so I can get some things done round here.
My aunt just had a baby 4 mo ago....(yes i am 31 yrs old and have a 4 mo old cousin) ..and she wants to walk to. Ill let you know when we will be heading over there, If we ever get there...ugh...its always something.


----------



## WickidaWitch

Wow, I could have written most of your post.








I will try and catch up on the 10+ pages.


----------



## 3 Little Monkeys

I'm your friend Tammi - even if I do live 3000 miles away


----------



## burke-a-bee

I see alot of Mass locations here. Where does everyone live in Mass? I'm in Florida now but lived in Cambridge, Allston, Brighton, Somerville, Amherst, Belchertown and Annisquam (Gloucester). (I hope I got them all.) I miss it sometimes.


----------



## WickidaWitch

Quote:


Originally Posted by *burke-a-bee*
I see alot of Mass locations here. Where does everyone live in Mass? I'm in Florida now but lived in Cambridge, Allston, Brighton, Somerville, Amherst, Belchertown and Annisquam (Gloucester). (I hope I got them all.) I miss it sometimes.

I used to live in Somerville.







I miss it too since that's where my family is.


----------



## Ms.Doula

Quote:


Originally Posted by *3 Little Monkeys*
I haven't read all the other posts - but I'm definitely a lonely mama. I have one IRL friend who is close enough to visit, but she's moving next week and will be an hour away so there goes that option







dh's "solution" to this problem is to tell me to go to work - ya there we go, let me work a menial job that I hate and basically make enough money to cover the cost of child care, and end up being more stressed out than I already am. All of my friends are here - dh calls them my "make believe friends"









*














I LOVE YOU, SHERRI!!! And I miss you too!!!














*


----------



## noorjahan




----------



## 3 Little Monkeys

Quote:


Originally Posted by *noorjahan*
Hello mamas!!!

Dropping by! As Ramadan started (I'm Muslim) won't be here that much! Will drop by next one month once in a while!!! I hope you guys have great time !!!
Trying to be a better muslim=better person this time around finally!









we'll still be here when you get back -


----------



## frowningfrog

Quote:


Originally Posted by *noorjahan*
Hello mamas!!!

Dropping by! As Ramadan started (I'm Muslim) won't be here that much! Will drop by next one month once in a while!!! I hope you guys have great time !!!
Trying to be a better muslim=better person this time around finally!

















looking forward to your return















christine


----------



## Pookietooth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Rogercol*
Hey ladies-
I came home tonight fresh from a visit to my new primary care doctor, facing a confirmed diagnosis of Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome, and an overwhelming schedual of blood work, and ultrasounds, and nutritionists and endocrinologists, and medication changes....

Welcome, Niccole. I have PCOS, too. It's scary, isn't it? They know so little about it. There's a living with PCOS thread over in Health and healing that's for all women with PCOS, not just mamas. It's pretty quiet most of the time. http://www.mothering.com/discussions...highlight=PCOS My main advice is read everything you can get, make all your own food from scratch, and take lots of cod liver oil.


----------



## SillyGigglyGirls

Hi, I just got a pelvic ultrasound done this week on Monday. I am currently waiting for the results. I did also have a stomach ultrasound done as well previousily. They found a large cytsis on my kidney that requires further investigation by a specialist reguarding taking the kidney out or not. I am not that concerned I have had 3 major open heart surgeries so this is just a breeze considering what I have been through. But the wait is the hardest when you want to know what is going on with your health. So, I guess in the next week or so I will get a phone call from my family dr to come in and discuss the test results.
Wish me luck! Kate


----------



## 3 Little Monkeys

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HeartofaChild*
Hi, I just got a pelvic ultrasound done this week on Monday. I am currently waiting for the results. I did also have a stomach ultrasound done as well previousily. They found a large cytsis on my kidney that requires further investigation by a specialist reguarding taking the kidney out or not. I am not that concerned I have had 3 major open heart surgeries so this is just a breeze considering what I have been through. But the wait is the hardest when you want to know what is going on with your health. So, I guess in the next week or so I will get a phone call from my family dr to come in and discuss the test results.
Wish me luck! Kate

Wow Kate! I hope everything is ok! Good luck with it


----------



## frowningfrog

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HeartofaChild*
Hi, I just got a pelvic ultrasound done this week on Monday. I am currently waiting for the results. I did also have a stomach ultrasound done as well previousily. They found a large cytsis on my kidney that requires further investigation by a specialist reguarding taking the kidney out or not. I am not that concerned I have had 3 major open heart surgeries so this is just a breeze considering what I have been through. But the wait is the hardest when you want to know what is going on with your health. So, I guess in the next week or so I will get a phone call from my family dr to come in and discuss the test results.
Wish me luck! Kate


Seams like you sure have been through a lot. I hope that all is well with you, and wish you all the best.


----------



## Sustainer

My partner just lost his job.


----------



## 3 Little Monkeys

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sustainer*
My partner just lost his job.

Oh NO! I'm so sorry! I hope he's able to find another one quickly. This is a terrible time of year to be without work


----------



## tayndrewsmama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sustainer*
My partner just lost his job.









I am so sorry. What kind of work does he do? I hope there is something out there for him.


----------



## Sustainer

He was working as a certified paint specialist at a hardware store, but now that summer is over, people aren't buying paint, so instead of transfering him to a different department (which he would also be qualified for), they just cut him loose.

In the past, he has also worked as a certified RV technician, but that's seasonal too.

Before the hardware job he was the assistant manager of a woodworkers' supply store, but then the whole chain went out of business.

There are actually a lot of jobs that he is qualified to do, but unfortunately we live in a very depressed area.


----------



## 3 Little Monkeys

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sustainer*
He was working as a certified paint specialist at a hardware store, but now that summer is over, people aren't buying paint, so instead of transfering him to a different department (which he would also be qualified for), they just cut him loose.

In the past, he has also worked as a certified RV technician, but that's seasonal too.

Before the hardware job he was the assistant manager of a woodworkers' supply store, but then the whole chain went out of business.

There are actually a lot of jobs that he is qualified to do, but unfortunately we live in a very depressed area.

That's horrible that they wouldn't just transfer him.

My dad has worked in the RV biz for as long as I can remember - in Washington State - very seasonal. When he was a salesman, the winters were just horrible for us.

I hope he is able to find something. Hang in there mama


----------



## kewb

I'm sorry. I hope he finds something soon.


----------



## Sustainer

Quote:


Originally Posted by *3 Little Monkeys*
My dad has worked in the RV biz for as long as I can remember - in Washington State - very seasonal. When he was a salesman, the winters were just horrible for us.

My partner's father was an RV tech for 10 years, right up until his death in a traffic accident at age 45 (before his grandchildren were born







).


----------



## tayndrewsmama

You know, just a thought, and I know you didn't ask either, but if he doesn't find something soon, he might want to look into a union hall apprenticeship. He sounds like he is very skilled and many unions have apprenticeships in different areas. They start off at a lower wage, but then he would work his way through schooling and training (usually all paid for by the union). Depending on the union, there are great paying jobs for journeyman in different fields that aren't not available to those who haven't gone through the training, even if they have the skills. Usually the insurance is very good and paid for by the employers and the union hall. Just to clarify, I am not talking about unions that are in factories, that's is really a different situation.

Sorry for the unsolicited advice, but I thought it might be helpful in future decision making.


----------



## frowningfrog

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sustainer*
My partner just lost his job.


I am so sorry to hear this news.
Seams these days its either your geting laid off or you are woking 2-3 jobs to just get by..
I do hope that he finds something, he seams to be pretty handy and skillful.
good luck


----------



## SillyGigglyGirls

sorry to hear that! My mother is still on unemployment even after a year of being layed off. She worked for 2 weeks, and was "dismissed" which she said was wrong because she was suppose to be let go of, not fired. So back to looking for a job.

Well today was interesting, I locked the van keys in the van while I was trying to "clean up." We spend 82 dollars on a meal lastnight!!!!! (I was so disappointed, I didn't know it was going to be SO expensive!) To top it all off, we won't be having a thankgiving meal since, we spend most of our money on the meal lastnight (get paid on Tues since Monday is a holiday) and then this morning I thought I am going to have a nice bowl of cereal (the milk turned!!!!!!) Thankfully I warned my bf because he was eatting it like no tomorrow in his cereal







. So my day was alright. Tomorrow it's going to be better. We have "PLANS" to go to a provincial park, carve pumpkins, and maybe rent a few $2 DVDs.

I think that is all!
I felt so bad that we spent so much.
We went to that Mongolian Grill...I think next time
we will just stick with making a meal at home! 2 adults and
3 girls was a bit much to be taking out.

BUT...the girls thanked us tremousily for the meal, and they said they had a great time. So, I guess it was worth it for them.







Better be, worth a pretty penny for that meal!


----------



## frowningfrog

Hello girls!!

just wanting to say hey. I am bored at the moment I actuallly have time for myself right now and Its soooo quiet i dunno what to do I can actually read my messages and not be disturbed 100 times :LOL
well I am off...
have a great day







christine


----------



## noorjahan




----------



## 3 Little Monkeys

Just another day around here. Dh is at work, dd1 is in school, dd2 is watching tv right now and dd3 is still sleeping. I've got laundry today, I spent all day yesterday cleaning in the living room - have to finish the dusting today and it will be done. I felt like I was doing spring cleaning - I even cleaned the blinds and washed the curtains. Nesting must be starting early - which is good because this house could use some deep cleaning.

I think I finally felt the baby move yesterday. I'll be 20 weeks tomorrow. I felt a couple of little bumps but I'm not sure whether it was the baby or if it was a muscle spasm. This baby isn't as active - or as violent as my girls were. They were beating the crud out of me by now - maybe this one is a boy







: I have my ultrasound on Wednesday - but I still don't plan on finding out the sex, I want to wait.


----------



## mama4gals

Hey there, hi there, ho there! I just stumbled on this thread by accident. How come there are so many of us lonely mamas and we're all in different places?! Not fair! I moved from suburban MD to rural south central VA (not far from the NC border) 11 yrs ago. All my fam is in MD. I had these idyllic visions of rural life. Fresh produce, beautiful scenery, moms who bf and stay at home.







: Was I in for a shock. Country doesn't mean beautiful, most mothers have 2.5 kids and work, and bfing is practically unheard of(Eeew, that's gross.) Homebirth, you say? Honey, don't you know we have hospitals for that kind of thing now? People think we have a huge fam (4 kids) and I tell them my sister in MD has 10. That always gets 'em! And farms? They're for raising tobacco! Our town's only grocery story (a disgusting, expensive, crappy Star Value) is closing this month, so we'll have to drive at least 12 miles to the nearest grocery store (which I did anyway). I would have to drive about 60 miles to find a natural foods store. When we first came here, I had some "friends", but one just always made bad choices and wanted to whine to me about what a victim she was, another was a liar and a gossip, so I just decided no friends was better than bad friends. My children kept me busy, and then I got a pt job at home, which I really enjoy. I was glad not to waste any more time with people who dragged me down, but I really wished for a friend. I do have one neighbor now who I am very friendly with, but we have so little in common. She is a good friend in that I know I can count on her, but I don't really feel I can talk to her about my deepest feelings. She sat with me the day I had my 3rd mc, and offered to stay with me when I had my 4th last month, so I don't mean to brush that off.

Anyway, that's where I'm coming from. Gotta run!

Liz


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## 3 Little Monkeys

Hi Liz!


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## Ms.Doula

hi there!!


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## mama4gals

I've been reading a bunch of these posts; it'll take me forever to read them all. I was interested in the "meeting people at church" thing. I am a practicing Catholic, born and raised by peacenik parents in the liberal church of the 60's and 70's. I drifted away in college. I couldn't live my wild and woolly weekdays and then justify it all on Sunday. Then when my children came along, I felt something was missing. I tried different churches, and eventually went back to the Catholic church. I found myself crying during Communion and I didn't know why. I felt so touched by God. Long story short, I came back, and eventually my husband decided to become a Catholic (major surprise to everyone, esp. me). So now we go to church regularly, and I had hoped to find some like-minded mamas, but I just haven't found anybody I can really be friends with. I love going to Mass, but I feel so fake-y talking to people afterwards. I have a very spirited 3 yr old, and there are some really well behaved 3 yr olds at church, and I always feel like I'm less of a mom because she can't sit still in church. And I find myself envying the mamas whose husbands take the baby out so they can sit through church, and envying the ones who don't have a weight problem (I'm about 25 lbs overweight), and envying the ones who seem to get pregnant with no trouble (I have 4 healthy children but since my youngest I've had 4 m/c's). And so I keep my distance. I also don't feel like I belong with any one group. I've had homebirths and a hospital birth, I've homeschooled but right now all but the youngest one are in school, I believe in healthy food but don't always follow it, I believe in being green but still use paper plates sometimes, on some issues I'm conservative and some I'm liberal. In my heart I believe in no TV and baking my own bread, but I fall way short most of the time. Am I making any sense to anyone? I feel like if you asked people who know me what I'm like, they'd say I'm really friendly and open and cheerful. But really I don't let anyone but you all (and my sister, who lives in MD) know what's in my heart of hearts, and I really just like to stay at home. My best time is M-F while the big girls are at school. My 3 yr old dd and I enjoy ourselves thoroughly. She watches PBS in the am while I drink my coffee and read the paper. Then she plays so nicely by herself all day, with input from me along the way. She plays with her dollhouse, with play dough, paint, crayons, you name it. She's quite content. At naptime we read a zillion books, then go to sleep. I sleep for a short while, then get up while she still sleeps and get some stuff done. I love these days. I get up at 5:30 before anyone else is up and go to a place just like Curves and exercise for 30 min.

Gosh, I've rambled. I need to go put dd to bed. She fell asleep on the couch watching Monday night football with dad. Thanks for being here, ladies.

Liz


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## 3 Little Monkeys

Oh goodness Liz - you just described ME!! I don't feel like I belong to any one group either - so I make up my own groups as I go :LOL Having online friends is very helpful though - when you need to talk, a keyboard and monitor is better than nothing at all


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## mama4gals

Thanks, Sherri. You know, when I was younger, I would try to fit into one group, you know, do everything and wear everything they were doing and wearing. Even as a young mother, I tried to fit into the homebirthing, homeschooling, bfing, natural food, etc. etc. "group" and felt guilty if I did something I thought these people would disapprove of. And then, hey, I grew up, finallY! I developed my own way, my own style, and I didn't give a hoot if I didn't fit in. So while I am now much more comfortable with who I am, it's lonely being weird. And I am no longer willing to put up with "friendships" that are unhealthy, so I just don't talk to those people anymore. I had a friend who used to come over and dump on me, then interrupt her whinings about herself to tell me I was really raising some hellions. I don't need that crap. I'm doing the best I can with my kids. This has also led me to not be as judgmental of other mothers as I used to be. We are all so different, and have come from different backgrounds, but we're united in the fact that we all are trying to be good mothers. How we go about that is up to each of us.

Wow, I almost got hurt stepping off that soapbox







Thanks for listening!









Liz


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## 3 Little Monkeys

you get up on that soapbox any time Liz







I'm like you, I don't conform to fit in anymore, if you don't like the way I raise my kids - well, don't come over. We do the best with what we have.

On to another subject, I'm having issues with dh right now and I don't know if I'm being overly sensitive (ie pregnant :LOL) or if he's being a jerk. I'm thinking he's being a jerk though - and an insensitive one at that.

He has this new obsession with RC cars. he joined a club and races every friday night. I didn't think it was going to be a big deal, one night a week, right? Well he spends almost every free moment all week long working on the darn car trying to get it "ready" to race on Friday. He hasn't spent any quality time with the family in a couple of weeks now - well except for Saturday when we went to the coast (because I insisted) but we still ended up at a hobby store looking at race stuff







Now he wants to go to Bakersfield on Saturday, which means he'll leave here around 1 or 2 and won't be back until 2 or 3 in the morning. At first he asked if I wanted to go, then about an hour later he says "if enough guys go, can I go with them?" so the girls and I were uninvited at that point. I haven't said anything - if I say no, I don't want you to go, he'll be a jerk all weekend and will be yelling at the kids - if I say go, well he gets his way again and the cycle continues. I really need to sit him down and explain to him how this whole thing is making me feel. It feels like the family is taking a back seat to that damn car.

I don't know, maybe I'm just jealous because he has this outside activity and friends and I don't have anything or anyone but my kids. Obviously some things I need to work through before I can confront him...


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## mama4gals

Sherri, boy can I relate! My dh is often the same way, except not with recreational things. It's always something to make money, which of course makes me look like the bad guy if I complain because he's "doing it for the family". He always has way more irons in the fire than he can handle at one time. We bought an old house last year to fix up and use as a rental property, and he's constantly fixing it up. But I've been with him for such a long time (19 yrs) that I know no amount of nagging will help. He may do what I ask, but I will be sorry because he'll be a jerk about it. I try to be grateful that he's trying to support his family, but it's hard because basically I feel like I've been raising 4 kids alone. He's a good guy, but he grew up in a waaaayyy dysfunctional home, and he has not had good role models. He leaves the discipline to me, or he administers it haphazardly (he'll ignore bad behavior for a long time, then say "no TV for 3 months" or something). Anyway, about your dh (sorry, didn't mean to make this about me)--I think it's best to not nag about things like that. Try to find a good time to tell him how you feel. By good time I mean when he's in a good mood and you're not angry. Use the "I" statements, you know, "I feel hurt when you..." not "you're such a you know what because..." It's hard to do, but I know when I try to not say stuff in anger things turn out better. He may still not do anything different but at least it doesn't turn into a terrible argument, and I feel better about not yelling. Also, I try very hard to look at his good qualities, because if I concentrate on the negatives I can get really depressed and self-pitying. Good luck with it.

Btw, I really like this thread. I started over in the pregnancy loss forum, because I just had my 4th mc in a row, but I didn't realize how much I just wanted to talk to people about all kinds of stuff. Thanks.

Liz


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## 3 Little Monkeys

It does feel better when you can talk about anything - I've got a few places on MDC where I feel safe enough to go and talk about just about anything. It helps to get it out - and the kids appreciate it too because when I keep all this stuff inside, I tend to blow up at them over dumb things


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## Ms.Doula

OH WOW!! Liz-you described me to a tee, cept Im not catholic (thought I am Christian) and thought I am a good 25+lbs overweight... You wont find me anywhere but in bed at 5:30 am-let alone in Curves!!







:

WELCOME!! & know that you are not alone! PM me if you ever want to converse one on one with another "strattling-the-2-boxes, mama!" :LOL







~Melissa


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## mama4gals

Thanks Sherri & Melissa! If you had told me a year ago that I would be getting up at 5:30 to go exercise, I would have laughed except I would have been too tired to. The first 2 and a half years of my youngest daughter's life she barely slept. She woke up constantly at night, and often would not go back to sleep for a long time. I was out of my mind crazy with exhaustion. Then about a year ago, she started sleeping through the night sometimes, and now even though she almost always wakes up to come into our bed, she goes right back to sleep. A miracle!! I started going to A Better You (just like Curves) back in April. When the girls went back to school in August I decided to start exercising when they open, at 5:30. You'd be amazed how many women in our town get up that early to exercise. And they're mostly old ladies. Anyway, I've only lost about 4 lbs, and 6 inches, but I feel soooo much better. I have more energy, a lot of my aches and pains have gone away, my clothes are looser, and my very flabby stomach has tightened up some. My husband keeps saying I have buns of steel; I find that highly amusing.

When I had this last m/c, I was trying to look on the bright side, and so I was glad that I could continue to work on my figure. I would really like to lose some weight before getting pregnant again. I'm no spring chicken.

Anyhoo, that's it for now. Take care mamas! Thanks for the welcome!

Liz


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## Ms.Doula

Iv had more than a couple m/c too & I know what you mean re: trying to look on the bright side & work on your figure! :LOL I need to.......... because I certainly could use more energy. But I dont have the energy to star!







:


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## mama4gals

Can you tell me what IPTK means?


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## Ms.Doula

Invisible Posters & Thread Killers :LOL

Its a secret club (not)
Here on MDC.... you are welcome if you have ever felt invisiblehere or unpopular.... We have a nice little village there.....


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## mama4gals

Thanks! I thought it was some village in Alaska or something, but I thought it was weird that so many of you lived there.


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## frowningfrog

3 Little Monkeys Having online friends is very helpful though - when you need to talk said:


> http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif[/IMG]


So true...Your computer is there more times then a friend ever will be..and when you get online there is always someone there to listen..

christine


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## mama4gals

Hey ladies! Did you notice that MarisaMay posted way back on page 5, I think. Nobody responded. It was her first and only post. I just sent her a PM welcome. I have just finished reading through the whole thread--whew! Anyway, MarisaMay, please come back and talk to us. Let's all be lonely mamas together!

Liz


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## frowningfrog

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ms.Doula*
Invisible Posters & Thread Killers :LOL

Its a secret club (not)
Here on MDC.... you are welcome if you have ever felt invisiblehere or unpopular.... We have a nice little village there.....










HAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!........







boy do I fele invisible here sometimes....Of all the threads I have started (cant remember how many) ..at least 3 or 4 of them I killed before they started...lol..(meaning no responce)..
how sad!!!
















Christine


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## frowningfrog

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mama4gals*
Hey ladies! Did you notice that MarisaMay posted way back on page 5, I think. Nobody responded. It was her first and only post. I just sent her a PM welcome. I have just finished reading through the whole thread--whew! Anyway, MarisaMay, please come back and talk to us. Let's all be lonely mamas together!

Liz


Sorry MarisaMAy, Hello ...us lonely mamas can use another friend..
Sorry it is spo hard to keep track of every post, especially when you are in so many threads and groups and........... ugh!!!!


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## SillyGigglyGirls

Welcome, PM me!
I would love to chat with you on the boards!
Kate









Feeling kind of lonely ladies!
Help!! If anyone has MSN please PM me.
I would love to chat. I have four girls in my house,
my two, and my nieces!! I would love to sit and chat with someone for an hour ..just to keep my sanity!























Been busy all week.








I should have been called CrazyMomma














instead!


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## 3 Little Monkeys

I'm posting this all over MDC today - I had my u/s this morning. We're having a baby







:LOL I didn't want to find out, but dh did - baby however was not going to give out that little secret so dh has to wait :LOL The u/s tech says she "thinks" she knows what we're having, but we decided not to find out because it is just a guess. Everything looks great though, everything is where it is supposed to be. I have some pics but they are x-ray type pics so I don't know if I can scan them or not. I'm going to have dh play with it tonight and see if he can do it.


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## mama4gals

Oh Sherri! I am so glad everything looks good! Now more than ever, I realize how precious each new life is, what a miracle it is to get pregnant and give birth. I'm excited for you!









Liz


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## mama4gals

Hey there everyone! Guess everybody's been busy today. Maybe not so lonely today? First thing this am, I got ticked off by something I read in our local paper and had to fire off a letter to the editor. We had parent/teacher conferences at the schools today. I talked to 7 teachers today. But it was great to hear them all rave about how wonderful my kids are, so smart, and a pleasure to have in class. After the way they act at home, it's good to hear that other side of their personalities. Well, it's off to bed for me; 5:30 comes early. Hope you ladies had a good day.

Liz


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## 3 Little Monkeys

I'm here Liz, sort of. I've had a major headache all day long so I haven't spent much time online.

Isn't that always the way it goes, the kids are absolute angels for other people and they save the rottenness for us. Just once I'd like to be on the receiving end of some of that sweet angelic behaviour


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## mama4gals

I lied. I didn't really go to bed. I just kept reading posts. This whole thing is confusing to me. I am totally computer illiterate. I can manage to check my email and order stuff online (my dh wishes I didn't know how to do that







). But I'm confused by all these forums, sub-forums, threads, tribes, etc. How do the rest of you keep up with it all? For example, I was enjoying yesterday's chat with Sherri and others. Today I checked and didn't see any new posts. Then I was looking around tonight and found you were on other threads today. And there are lonely mamas, and outcast mamas, and thread-killing mamas. And what does it mean to subscribe to a thread? Do you have to be in a tribe? How many tribes can you be in? I know that's probably way too many questions for one post, but I was just wondering...

Liz


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## noorjahan




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## noorjahan




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## Ms.Doula

basicaly if you choose to subscribe to your threads... you will get the notification of your choice (ie. Daily diguest, instant email notifications, no notifications, ect)


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## mamasaurus

I'm one of those people without friends. I'm actually pretty ok with it. Sometimes I wish I had some friends, but honestly, it's not a burning desire. My DH is my best friend and we both work at home, so we are around each other a lot.

When I was 12, I was very lonely. I had moved to a new place, and felt very odd. Being 12 didn't help, it can be such a rough age! I made a pathetic attempt at suicide, but really it was a cry for help. My Mom took me to counseling. The counselor suggested that I was an:

"Extrovert trapped in an Introvert's body."









That label has haunted me for a long time. I think it was very damaging. It was almost like the counselor was saying that being an introvert was a bad thing. Because that introvert was "trapping" the true person, the extrovert, and not allowing them to come out and shine. I felt for a long time that I needed to be more outgoing, and tried to force it. I became a cheerleader, and tried to make friends, but never with much luck.

I finally came to the place where I just accepted myself as a nice, introverted person. I think introverted people can have deep relationships with people. I do with my DH. I just don't have the need to have many friends. But I definitely do need at least one very good friend! I think we all do.


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## mama4gals

Gosh, Jenny, I'm sorry about that. You must have really been in anguish to try suicide at age 12. That's great that your dh is your best friend. Mine is not really the communicative type, so when I've needed to talk, I have usually talked to my sister. It's great having this online community. I am not the kind to like to go out a lot. I used to be, but I hated how I never got anything done at home. When I am home most of the time, things stay on more of a routine, which my youngest (3) really needs. It's kind of gotten to the point where I hate to go places. I don't think it's unhealthy. I am a homemaker, and my job is at home. I also have an at-home paying job. I really like being at home, and my youngest dd does too.

Thanks for the explanations to my questions. Gotta run! Today I actually am going somewhere. It's payday, and I have to go grocery shopping.

Liz


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## mamasaurus

oops


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## mamasaurus

Thanks, Liz. I talk to my sister as well. I'm glad to have her even though we live 5000 miles apart. I like to stay home as well. We have made ourselves a nice little nest here and I think, "Why go anywhere?" But I still do, to get the girls out and about.


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## Pookietooth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *frowningfrog*
....Of all the threads I have started (cant remember how many) ..at least 3 or 4 of them I killed before they started...lol

Oh, I've had quite a few die, either because nobody responded to a new post I wrote or because I asked a question in someone else's post that seemed to cause it to die. At least that's how it looked to me!


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## Pookietooth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *3 Little Monkeys*
Isn't that always the way it goes, the kids are absolute angels for other people and they save the rottenness for us. Just once I'd like to be on the receiving end of some of that sweet angelic behaviour

I haven't experienced the dichotomy myself much yet, mostly because ds appears to be an extreme introvert and barely talks to anyone else, but figure eventually I will. And when it happens, I know it will get old, but sometimes I almost long for it, just to prove to me that ds can interact with others besides dh and myself. I hope you get at least a hug or two from your dds still!


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## 3 Little Monkeys

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mama4gals*
But I'm confused by all these forums, sub-forums, threads, tribes, etc. How do the rest of you keep up with it all? For example, I was enjoying yesterday's chat with Sherri and others. Today I checked and didn't see any new posts. Then I was looking around tonight and found you were on other threads today. And there are lonely mamas, and outcast mamas, and thread-killing mamas. And what does it mean to subscribe to a thread? Do you have to be in a tribe? How many tribes can you be in? I know that's probably way too many questions for one post, but I was just wondering...

Liz

Liz, you don't have to subscribe or be part of a tribe to post to any thread. Just surf around a bit, find something that you are interested in and start posting







For instance, when I first joined, I was specifically looking for info on cloth diapers - so that forum was my first stop, then I got pregnant and found the pregnancy forum, and now there are due date club sub forums. There are forums for specific ages of children (ie. babes, toddlers, preschoolers, preteens, etc.) You can belong to as many tribes as you want to - just have fun.

This has been a great place for me, I've "met" so many interesting people. Funny to say, but one of the very best friends I've ever had in my life - I have never actually met face to face, we met here.

And there's never such thing as too many questions


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## 3 Little Monkeys

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Pookietooth*
I haven't experienced the dichotomy myself much yet, mostly because ds appears to be an extreme introvert and barely talks to anyone else, but figure eventually I will. And when it happens, I know it will get old, but sometimes I almost long for it, just to prove to me that ds can interact with others besides dh and myself. I hope you get at least a hug or two from your dds still!

I get lots of hugs from the baby (23 months) and if she's feeling jealous then I'll get hugs from the 4 yo, but my 10 yo (11 next week) only hugs me when she wants something.

My 4 yo is pretty introverted as well. When we go somewhere, she won't go play with the other kids, she's always off to the side playing by herself, or with her sister. My other two will throw themselves right into the middle of things though, it's nice to see that and I really wish I could get my 4 yo to interract more, hopefully it will get better when she starts school next year


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## Pookietooth

Liz, just wanted to mention that it's possible you have PCOS if you've had multiple miscarriages and are overweight. PCOS is associated with hormonal imbalances, insulin resistance (pre-diabetic), infertility, and miscarriage risk. See www.pcosupport.org and www.pcosliving.org for more info (the second website is not exactly mainstream, or even alternative, so read it with caution -- it's kind of a sales tool for their particular tests).
Oh, wait, I just saw that you've already posted over at the living with PCOS thread for your dd -- how timely!


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## mama4gals

Well, I survived shopping day







. Spent way too much money; what else is new? We are far from any good stores, so when I drive an hour to get to one, I tend to buy lots of food. And as I'm sure you nature mamas know, eating healthy is expensive.

Jennifer, thanks for the tip about PCOS. It's funny, while I was posting about my daughter on the PCOS thread, I was thinking, gee, I wonder if I have it? I've got a lot of the symptoms, plus my hair is falling out. I just chalked that up to old age, but it still worries me. I used to have waist length thick wavy brown hair. Now it's a little past shoulder length and thin. I guess I've got a lot to look into. I usually never go to the dr myself because I do enough of that with the children.

Liz


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## MarisaMay

Thanks for the additional welcome!







I'm just relieved that I didn't kill this thread (far from it!) and that there are so many other people who feel the same way I do. In reading some of your posts, I am wondering if my dd will be introverted like me or more like her daddy. She's only 5 months but I think I really need to start meeting some people who have similar aged kids so that she might have someone to play with one day.

Thanks for the info. on thread subscriptions too!


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## mama4gals

MarisaMay, glad we didn't lose you!









Liz


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## SillyGigglyGirls

Well I survived tonight!
I had my 3 girls, plus my two nieces!!







They were all VERY GOOD! Ages were
3, 3, 5, 5 and 7.







They all went to bed very well as well. My oldest daughter just went to bed just now. Whew! I am glad, I got the house done before she went to bed. Now I can relax! What is everyone else doing?????


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## mama4gals

Wow, sounds like you have your hands full! I'm cleaning up around here so I can go to bed and wake up tomorrow not being behind on everything already. The girls are just finishing up watching Little House on the Prairie. Boy does that show take me back! We used to watch it as kids, and the Waltons too. Am I the only one old enough around here to remember those shows?

Liz


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## kewb

I was watching Little House last night (by myself, after the kids wer asleep) and amazing my dh with my ability to recall every detail of the episode which I have not seen since I was a kid. Ooh, that Nellie Olson! I so wanted to be Laura when I was little and wished Michael Landon was my pa.

My dd had a play date last week and I stayed and chatted with the other girls mom for a little bit. We talked about how we have no time for friends and going out and doing girl stuff since we both WOH full time.


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## frowningfrog

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HeartofaChild*
Well I survived tonight!
I had my 3 girls, plus my two nieces!!







They were all VERY GOOD! Ages were
3, 3, 5, 5 and 7.







They all went to bed very well as well. My oldest daughter just went to bed just now. Whew! I am glad, I got the house done before she went to bed. Now I can relax! What is everyone else doing?????










wow...wow ...wow ..wow...is all I can say :LOL ..I surely would have run from the house screaming.. :LOL


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## frowningfrog

Little HOuse....I used to watch that show all the time....grrr Nellie Olsen..shes so mean..I always wished that someone would just pop her one...
then they brought in that other girl when they all grew up....oh what was her name.....NANCY .thats it ..grrr to her to :LOL


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## frowningfrog

What I did last night..
got the baby down about 8pm as usual..then I watched Vanilla Sky on Bravo..I love that movie ...dislike Toim Cruise but love the movie...
Baby woke up every time I left the room. cause the cat meows so loud..
woke up at 300am to cat scratching on the door went to let her know we wheer still here...she gets very lonely..but keeps us up all night if we let her in the room...then up at 730 this morning which was a treat since abby is usually up at 530am...
now we are on the 8 or 9th day of rain ..so cant go anywhere...AGAIN...
oh well at least our grass is very healthy and vibrantly colored green...
have a great day all


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## AntMom

Hi everyone--I am a lonely mama too! Do you mind if I join you?

I've always been the quiet type in large groups, and it takes a while for me to get to know people. Once I feel comfortable, though, I can talk as much as anyone. I enjoy talking once I get going--it's just hard for me to get started. I moved to a new town a few years ago, and I'm not from the area to begin with, so I have had to start all over again from scratch. Although I have found some moms to go out with here and there, I don't have anyone I really consider a close friend. I go to a lot of activities with my ds, who is 2 1/2, so I feel like we are always busy, but somehow I am still lonely.

Most of the time I am happy being by myself. I work from home, and if not for ds, I would be thrilled to stay in and work on my own projects every day. I like to read, sew, and scrapbook. My son seems very outgoing, though--he loves to be outside and talks to everyone we meet. He knows the people at the grocery store, the bank, the post office, and just thrives on attention. I'm happy he's so happy, but some days it's exhausting!

I'm looking forward to getting to know all of you.

Joyce


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## mama4gals

Welcome, Joyce! I'm like you, I love to stay at home. My oldest 3 all liked to go places, but now they're all in school, and the youngest is perfectly happy at home by herself. And since she is difficult to take places, we stay at home a lot. She is very spirited, and likes to do her own thing.

Liz


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## frowningfrog

Welcome Joyce..

I to do not go out either...Id much rather stay here at home. I olny do errands but that is really only about 2 days per week...
Its getting cold out anyways ...


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## 3 Little Monkeys

Hi ladies - I've been MIA all weekend, and my poor pregnant body is letting me know that I pushed it too hard :LOL

Friday night my oldest (11 this Wednesday) had a friend spend the night and I took the two of them, as well as my 4 yo and 23 mo to the High School Homecoming game. Ever sat in the grandstand with a toddler and a preschooler







We left after the halftime show - and it was already 9:30 at that point. I made the girls go to bed early because dd1 had a game Saturday and we had to be up early. They still drug it out until 11







:

Saturday we went to the Jr. High for dd1's game. She's a cheerleader for the football team. It was the playoffs, and her team remains undefeated so they go to the championship this Saturday. After the game she went home with another cheerleader, who's mom offered to watch the two little ones so dh and I could go out by ourselves







We went to dinner - I HAD AN ADULT CONVERSATION!!!!!







:LOL Dd1 and dd2 spent the night with the friend so it was just dh, dd3 and me at home that night - it was so nice and quiet









Sunday, dh had a race in town (he races RC cars) so we loaded up and went to that. About 4 hours into it, just as dh was starting his final race, dd1 says she's got a migraine (they hit her so hard and so fast, poor kid) so I loaded up the kids and we came home - thankfully dh had driven himself. Dd was sick all night, and ended up staying home from school today because her stomach was still upset from throwing up all night (headache related - happens every time)

So today I had to get up and get 3 kids ready to go to town because I had an appt. with my chiro. He also did some massage work on dd's neck and shoulders, said that should help with the headaches. Had some shopping to do, got home with enough time to hunt down the kitty (who was hiding from the girls) and take her to the vet to have shots. Now all I have left to do is get dinner going, get kids intot he bathtub (they are outside playing in the dirt right now) and into bed and hopefully I can get some rest this evening.

Phew, that was one exhausting weekend - I hadn't realized I'd been so busy until I typed it all out :LOL


----------



## 3 Little Monkeys

Joyce!

I'm a homebody too - I don't really do much with the kids except for our trips to the park or to go shopping, or to the mall to play, other than that we stay home quite a bit. It's just so tiring to go out with both of them, and with a new baby on the way, I just don't see myself going anywhere for a long long time. It's a good thing I have friends here or I'd be heading for the loony bin :LOL


----------



## rainbowmoon

hi mamas







I've been lurking on here. I'm a homebody at heart with just a few close mama friends. I am very picky about friends :LOL and not much energy latley for making new ones. just looking for support here I guess, since DH died I feel really alone in the world. thanfully I have my kids or I don't know what I'd do! being in a rural area on the border of mexico keeps me a bit isolated (which I like most of the time) but thankfully the internet keeps me sane as it's my main social outlet somedays!


----------



## mama4gals

April, I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband. How terrible. I see you have a brand new baby. Was she born before or after your husband died? I hope that wasn't too nosy of a question. I can only imagine your grief, and I want to send you lots of







. Sometimes I think I'm spending too much time on MDC, but I don't feel quite so alone anymore. I feel like I do have friends. Thank you ladies.

Liz


----------



## hopeland

Hi,
Can I join this club?







I have always had a difficult time making friends. I am a single mom to a wonderful 6 year old daught who has lived with me for the past 18 months. I have guardianship right now and will adopt eventually...legality matter. It can be very lonely and being single especially I wish I had friends to share things with like my daughter firsts, cute things they say, etc.
Rebecca


----------



## 3 Little Monkeys

April - I'm so sorry for your loss


----------



## rainbowmoon

thanks mamas. nope your not being nosy at all. DH died exactly 2 weeks after DD was born. I'm so grateful he got to be there with me holding my hand as she was born and know her at least for those 2 weeks. it's still heartbreaking anyway you look at it though. I miss him so much.









anyway I don't want to take away from this thread with all that and shed a sad light here. just looking for support & connections with other like minded mamas.









I KNOW I spend way too much time on here some days (even before DH died) but MDC has become my vice since becoming a mother. it's my one guilty pleasure! :LOL


----------



## SillyGigglyGirls

I am sorry rainbowmoon







for your loss...
I couldn't imagine my life without hub either.
Joyce







WELCOME!! We are happy to have you!
We had a great morning..most of our days are great. LOL but anyhow, we dropped my mom off. She JUST started a new job!







yay for her! So we told her that we could drive her in as long as she didn't mind helping us with gas. So now she has a stable ride to work, one less thing for her to worry about. After that my b/f decided to take us to a really nice park, it has nature trails. He stopped at Timmies (coffee place more or less like Starbucks!) We only had our middlest with us, so he got her a hot cholocate and both of us a coffee. We came home, I packed his lunch while he made us crepe's for breakfast. Got our middlest child ready for school and then he dropped us off at the bus stop. So, it was a nice morning. My youngest is just getting home now!

How is everyone else's morning going? Anything new? Anything exciting? I haven't been on here for a while! Miss you guys














!

Kate


----------



## AntMom

hello everyone--thanks for the warm welcome! I'm glad to know I'm not the only homebody.

April, I am so sorry for your loss--I can't even imagine how hard that must be. But I am glad your dh was able to be there for your dd's birth.

We had a more exciting day than usual today, unexpectedly. Tuesday is the one day we have off from ds's activities, and I was just starting to cook pasta sauce for dinner when the phone rang. I had turned on the burner to heat up the oil but hadn't put the onions in yet. Well, after the phone call, I turned around to find 4-foot flames leaping out of my pan! I put the fire out with another pan, but then it caught fire again and spread to the vent on the stove. I called 911 and 3 fire trucks came roaring down our street. The good news is that no one was hurt and the fire was out before they even got there, but we had a lot of smoke in the house so they pumped fresh air in for us. Two neighbors called to make sure we were all right, and more neighbors stopped by to see what happened. I was so embarrassed!

When I was trying to figure out how to put out the fire, DS said, "Mommy, I don't like that." Then, when we were outside, he was just complaining that he wanted to play baseball and basketball. He thought the fire trucks were exciting, and one of the firemen gave him a fire hat that he just thought was so cool.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a quieter day!


----------



## mama4gals

Oh my gosh, Joyce! How scary! Glad everything is okay. I am going to bed. I have got to get more sleep.

Liz


----------



## frowningfrog

welcome all new ladies to the thread., Nice to meet you all.
April I am very sorry for your loss..

Well my gramma called last night to tell me that my uncle may not live very much longer. he has lung cancer. I am not sure if he lasted through last night I havent heard anything yet. so I am just playing the waiting game..
On a lighter note my brother and his wife is having a baby next month and the shower is saturday.so that should be fun..

well hugs to all








christine


----------



## 3 Little Monkeys

Christine







I'm sorry about your uncle

11 yrs ago right now I was pacing my mom's living room waiting for her to get home to take me to the hospital because my water broke. At 7:41 pm my first little girl came into the world - mad as hell and glaring at me like you wouldn't believe :LOL I can't believe she's 11 yrs old - what happened to my baby


----------



## irinam

<sigh>

Posting again. My *only* friend (other than DH) just moved out of the state a few days ago.

Long distance friendship here I come


----------



## rainbowmoon

for Joyce & Christine & Irina (and anyone else in need)

didn't do much today. I did work in my (rock) garden though. I got about 1/4 of it finished and finally planted some cacti my late DH had bought months ago. hoping to work on it a little each day until it's done. but like alot of things I tend to lose momentum as the days go on, so we'll see. :LOL

a friend of mine (and fellow MDC mama) got hurt today on her bike though. hope she's doing ok.

I did just watch the most fantastic moonrise over the mountains though







and am off to clean and (hopefully) do a painting project I've been meaning to get to (window seat/bench FIL built a month ago) when the kids go to bed.


----------



## mama4gals

This afternoon, my 10 yo dd was walking our dog, Caesar, in the neighborhood like she does every day, and he spied a cat. He took off after it and she couldn't hold onto the leash. And he killed it. A lady let her use her phone to call me, and I went over there. Some girls told me where the cat owners lived, so I knocked on the door to tell them my dog killed their cat. Turns out the husband is a local cop, and when I told him about it, he said my dog was a vicious dog. Well, I apologized profusely, and my dd is standing there crying her eyes out and apologizing for not being able to control the dog. I had called my dh, and thank goodness he was nearby. He came right over and took charge. He had me take dd home (my next oldest dd had already taken Caesar home) and he stayed to try to straighten things out. Anyway, I am really worried that the guy will report our dog as a vicious animal and they'll make us put him to sleep. My dds will all be crushed. He's not a vicious dog. He's the friendliest dog to people. But we have a lot of stray cats that come into the yard while he's on his run, and it drives him crazy (squirrels do too). And my 10 yo and her friends who witnessed the attack said that the cat kept coming toward the dog even tho he was growling at it. I guess it didn't know to be afraid, because it just kept coming closer. When my dh got home, he said we needed to take the dog to the vet because the cat hadn't had any shots. So now I'm getting annoyed, and I'm sure I'm gonna tick off a lot of cat lovers here. But I don't understand why dogs have to have a license, and all their shots, and be confined all the time, and people can let cats roam free, shot-less and license-less. And for anyone who thinks dogs do more damage, I can tell you that cats can for sure damage property and harm people. I guess I'm borrowing trouble, but I'm worried. My dh offered to pay for another cat, and my dd wrote a note of apology which I'm going to deliver with a batch of cookies tomorrow. The wife was really nice; she seemed more concerned with the state of my daughter than with the cat. They had 2 cats; the other one ran away when it saw Caesar.

Liz


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## Pookietooth

April, I am so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine what you must be going though.







to you.








to you, Christine, sorry to hear about your uncle.








Liz, I'm sorry that happened to your family, hope your dd feels better soon (emotionally it must have been very rough). How unfortunate that it happened. Does she need to use a choke collar on the dog, perhaps?
I am a cat person, and I wasn't really offended. I know I never liked getting my cat her shots because it seemed like she hated them and she never got any nasty illness without them. However, I also kept her inside 100% of the time. I've never heard of a cat killing a person, whereas I have heard of kids and adults being killed by dogs. I was bitten in the face as a toddler by a dog and was afraid of dogs for many years as a result. Not to say that cats are always innocent (feral cats especially can be dangerous), just that dogs really can be quite dangerous.
Anyway, hope things get better and that you can keep your dog.

DS and I have just both been to our naturopath, and we are basically healthy, although she was a bit concerned about a couple of my moles. I may see a dermotologist about them. She didn't say either way whether I should make it a priority. I was there an hour this week for me and an hour for ds last week for him, but it went by so fast. I think I need to write down my questions ahead of time. Like, will I ever ovulate on my own, :LOL (I have PCOS). I have a migraine, second one in three days. She gave me some herbal stuff for it last time, but I didn't get any from her this time, maybe because I didn't have any checks. It's called Petadolex. It works better than tylenol. I ended up just drinking green tea today, which helps but keeps me up (which is why I'm still online this late, usually I'd be snoozing along with ds).









I wish I had some real-life friend to blab this all to!


----------



## AntMom

Liz, how awful. I hope your dd is feeling a little better about the whole incident. It's nice that the woman was more concerned about her than the cat. I hope all works out and that your dog is okay too and you are able to keep him.

((Hugs)) to Irina and Christine. It seems like so many of us are having a bad week!

No more disasters at our house yesterday. DS had his art class in the morning, and then we went out with the other people in the class to a nearby farm so the kids could play in the hay maze. I'm getting pretty close with one of the moms, so it's nice to have someone new to talk to for a change.


----------



## irinam

Thank you for the hugs mamas







It gave me a warm feeling inside









Liz, how awfull... I hope this whole situation will come to an acceptable solution! I am a dog pesron, DS and DD are cat people, but no one is counting - I am most concerned about you, your DD and DH. I too liked that the lady was concerned more about your DD!


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## mama4gals

Thanks for your concern, ladies! Our dog did have a choke collar on; I don't understand how, but dd says he got out of it. She must have had the leash on the wrong part of the collar, but she says she had it right. So I don't know.

Have a good day, everyone! I have got to get some work done today.

Liz


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## frowningfrog

Thanks all for the Hugs I needed them...

Mama4gals: sorry about what happened.I am a cat lover , but more importantly an animal lover. You are right it should be the same for all pets to have shots and registrations and such..but I guess they figure thats to much i dunno...
My cat is not fixed or had shots but I at least have the responcibility to keep her indoors at all costs. Plus we live in an area where a pac of Coyotes live ..and you should see all the cats that run around my neighborhood its sad .....anyways thats a whole other topic..sorry,,
I hope this cat owner sees that there was nothing could be done and perhaps he should have bee a bit more attentive. ..If the cat was not backing down from the dog and is an outdoor cat then it cat probably has rabies....
good luck


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## miranda

I'd like to join your party here. I am one of those people who's got a bunch of aquaintances but no really great friends. I work almost full time, and have a good friend at work, but we never "hang out" outside of work and we are from completely generations (her son's my age) so as far as parenting goes we're at totally different stages. My "best friend" is also my dds' daycare provider. We see eye to eye on a lot of things, such as she's a great mother and is wonderful with my kids, and she homeschools but there are some really big issues that we do NOT agree on, and they are things that are very important to me. (Read religious/moral/political differences).

When I take my kids to soccer or the park, etc. I always chat with other moms and get along fine with all sorts of people, but it's really hard for me to take the next step and work on making friends. I've always been this way. So, I've decided that it is me that needs to make the change, not the world at large, I'm the one that has ridiculously high standards for myself and others.

Anyway. I hope to meet some people here and maybe create a few online friends. Although, I have to warn you, I'm a notorious thread killer







:


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## irinam

Hi Miranda! Where in North Cali are you?


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## mama4gals

Just checking in. Everything turned out okay with the dog situation. I brought the woman some homemade pound cake and a card that dd had written (complete with spelling mistakes







) and told her what the vet said. My dh had wanted me to take the dog in to get checked and the vet said that I should report the incident to animal control since the cat was not vaccinated. I told the woman this and asked her if her husband had already reported it. She said no, and that he didn't want to. So I guess that's the end of that. It would do neither party any good to report it. So goodnight to anyone who's up.

Liz


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## sahli29

//


----------



## 3 Little Monkeys

Liz - ITA with you that the laws should be the same for dogs and cats. I live in a rural area and there are many people out here who don't fence their yards so they have their dogs tied to a chain in the yard - I don't think that's right either. For one thing, the dogs can break the chain (and do quite often) and hurt either themselves or someone else. Cats run wild out here - and most often than not they are not vaxed or fixed so we've got them running around, breeding like rabbits. I've got 2 dogs and a cat, all have been fully vaxed and fixed (with the exception of the cat because she's too young still, but she will be) I've got a fenced yard so my dogs can roam protected, and my cat stays inside. I really get angry at pet owners who don't take care of their animals

Sorry, jumping off my soapbox now :LOL


----------



## miranda

Quote:


Originally Posted by *irinam*
Hi Miranda! Where in North Cali are you?

I'm in Mendocino county on the coast. It's a great place to live.


----------



## miranda

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mama4gals*
So I guess that's the end of that. It would do neither party any good to report it. So goodnight to anyone who's up.

Liz


Liz,

I'm glad to hear that things are settling down for you and especially for your children. That must have been so difficult for them. Never underestimate the power of homemade pound cake









There are tons of ferral cats in our neighborhood, we've helped to catch some of them and get them to the humane society but there are a few that are too smart for traps. We have two cats that are spayed and completely vaccinated or they wouldn't be setting a paw outside the house. It is really frusterating dealing with irresponsible pet owners.







:


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## mama4gals

Just got back from taking the dog to the vet. He was due for his 1 yr. checkup anyway so it was just as well. I had to take my 13 yo out of school to help, since I can't drive with the dog in the van. Anyway, vet said he was fine, and gave him all his shots, and said not to worry about our dog being a cat-killer, that a lot of dogs are or would be if they got the chance (including his). He suggested a collar called Gentle Leader, which he said really helped them be able to walk their dog w/o him straining ahead and getting away from them. There's a strap that goes around the mouth and the leash hooks to that, so when they strain, their head gets turned to the side and they can't keep going until they ease up. Anyway, we immediately went to PetSmart and got one. Haven't tried it out yet; it's raining today. My husband's pet peeve is cats running loose, and he has 2 cages. He's used them occasionally, when he's really annoyed about it, then forgets to bait them for awhile









Liz


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## frowningfrog

I just heard a while ago..my uncle passed last night...









My grammie said she had been trying to call me all day....she must have called everytime I logged onto the computer.....she has good timeing
thanks all







Christine


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## Sustainer

I'm so sorry Christine


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## mama4gals

So sorry, Christine.

Liz


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## Darcy37

Where do you live? I live in Idaho


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## mama4gals

Are you talking to me? I live in VA.

Liz


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## AntMom

Sorry to hear about your uncle, Christine.


----------



## kewb

I'm sorry, Christine.


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## Darcy37

I was letting christine know where I live if she lives here we could be friends


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## Liisa

I only have 2 friends lol 1 I only see 2-3 times a month and the other one I see 2-3 times a week she lives in my building but I moving next month so wont be seeing her much which is sad because we have alot incommon and we just started to get to know each other


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## frowningfrog

thank you all so much..it is a hard time..









I live in Mass ....If I lived in Idaho I would be sure to try to hang out some time. thanks


----------



## Pookietooth

I'm in Washington (Seattle area).







and







Christine.


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## AntMom

Hey Christine, my dad lives in Mass--I grew up in Woburn, and he still lives there. Do you live anywhere near there?


----------



## frowningfrog

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AntMom*
Hey Christine, my dad lives in Mass--I grew up in Woburn, and he still lives there. Do you live anywhere near there?


Wow!! thats so funny we just moved to woburn...I grew up in Stoneham.


----------



## AntMom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *frowningfrog*
Wow!! thats so funny we just moved to woburn...I grew up in Stoneham.

lol, I guess that's pretty close, then! I used to live on the west side on the Burlington line, but now my dad lives in north Woburn. I miss it--there's a lot to do there. Not as much in southern Connecticut!

I had a very productive weekend. Got lots of fall cleaning done and I even had time to sew. I made a bunch of cloth wipes and hankies. DS picked out his own fabric for the wipes and was so excited to see them all made. And I'm almost done knitting a hat for him--my first knitting project ever. (I'm taking a class.)

Ran into some neighbors today who were making fun of my fire the other day--it's going to take forever to live that down . . .


----------



## frowningfrog

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AntMom*
lol, I guess that's pretty close, then! I used to live on the west side on the Burlington line, but now my dad lives in north Woburn. I miss it--there's a lot to do there. Not as much in southern Connecticut!.


I am very close to the movie theater ..if I walked Id be there in bout 20 min...depending on how fast or slow









Anyhow ...I went to my uncles funeral today ..of corse it was sad...I have not yet cried for him but I am sure that at some point it will hit me ..
I almost did when relatives were talking bout him during the service. The pastor asked if people wanted to share a story about him and he has 5 sisters so they all spoke about how they terrorized him as a child...








there were some picture of his wedding to my aunt..it was nice to see since she had died years ago when us kids were very young..me and one of the sons were about 6 or 7.

well anyhow ...I just felt more sadness for my 2 cousins ..they have now lost both parents and I just wanted to hug them so tight at the cemetary after the service there..they just huddled next to each other and cried ...how sad ...









well thats all for now ...I promise my next post will not be sad...but back to my cheerful self..







mamas


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## AntMom

Christine, I'm so sorry about your uncle. It sounds like you have a close, loving family and that is very nice. How sad for everyone.









My half-sister goes to the Wyman School (she's only 8). Maybe sometime I'll run into you down there.


----------



## frowningfrog

Just a few words...

1st before I go any further..thank you all so very much for you many hugs over the past few days thanks mamas









Second..I had to post also because I seen we were about to drop off the first page here in finding your tribe so I had to fix that ..





















.. I know silly...

And lastly....Is it just me or have more topic areas opened up here on the mothering boards???
















Christine


----------



## Pookietooth

I don't know about more areas, I just noticed they finally reopened Parents As Partners, only with major restrictions about content. Sigh.


----------



## **guest**

Sadly, I do not really have a close friend. Before I moved to England, I thought I had a bunch of friends. When I came back, I no longer had those friends. I was told that they viewed my moving so far away as 'abandonment'. Huh?
Anyhoo, I've been back for 4 1/2 yrs and I still don't have a good friend. There's one woman who I get together with for coffee every now and then but we are not close and, to be honest, if I wasn't so freakin lonely, I wouldn't even go for coffee with her.

As a single mom with no family/friends in the area, it's extremely hard.
I'm so very lonely. My lonliness is killing me.








Waah.

Yeah, i've tried meeting like minded people but this area is so very cold (temperment wise).

Hugs to all of you lonely mama's,
Liz


----------



## frowningfrog

Lizc::....
I am so sorry that your friends did that to you, what a lame excuse, and a rude one at that.

I noticed that you are from MA. I am as well, there are also a few others that post in here from MA as well. I do not have any friends any longer. we have grown apart. the only friend I have right now is my 39 yr old Aunt and the only reason we have gotten somewhat close is because her and my uncle just had a baby..he is 5 mo now. otherwise I do not think that we would talk and hang out as much.

Have you tried looking into groups around your area. I have found a few mom groups from someone here in MDC. One is a play group I havent been able to attend a play date yet but they do meet and seam real nice...
I do also run my own group its for all of the north east but there seams to be a lot of moms in MA. If you would like me to tell you more about them PM me if you like ....Also the link to my group is in my sig...if you have Yahoo check it out. Its not just for NFL its for all different mothering types so there is mainstream and some like MDC moms..its fun..
Glad you joined us in here..







Christine


----------



## frowningfrog

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Pookietooth*
I don't know about more areas, I just noticed they finally reopened Parents As Partners, only with major restrictions about content. Sigh.


Ya I am excited about that reopening..I lingered here for a very long time and when I finally had the time to be here they had closed that forum..
I have noticed that there is also a trading post which I had not seen before, talk amongst ourselves that looks great ..and the spirituality one ..I think there is another...I am very excited ...


----------



## **guest**

FrowningFrog...What a cool name. Would love to hear more about your chosen id.

I just went to your yahoo group. I shall wait to be approved.









Thanks!
Liz
Ps. Yes, I've joined local groups but I don't 'click' with any of the moms.


----------



## frowningfrog

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lizc*
FrowningFrog...What a cool name. Would love to hear more about your chosen id.

I just went to your yahoo group. I shall wait to be approved.









Thanks!
Liz
Ps. Yes, I've joined local groups but I don't 'click' with any of the moms.


Thanks,,It just popped into my head one day. I was thinking on a screen name for one of my messengers and I thought well I do like frogs a lot and I am sad a lot so somehow that just formed..







...so I used it for in MDC as well...figured no one else would have anything other name remotely like mine so it would be more memorable for the other oerson should I be in nice conversation with someone here and form a friendship...
I approved you as you prolly know al ready lol....


----------



## mama4gals

Hey, another Liz! Howdy!









Liz


----------



## **guest**

Hi Liz!

From Liz.


----------



## Pookietooth

lizc, I'm sorry that happened to you. I have a friend who lives in Jamaica Plain, but she's kind of in a different world -- she's a 40s lesbian artist who has no children. But she's single!


----------



## **guest**

Pookietooth- Ooh, she sounds like she'd be really cool! I need more artist friends. Maybe it would inspire me to start painting again.









Hugs,
Liz


----------



## Ms.Doula

welcome, frowning frog!








The reason you have 'new forums' is because you are now past your 'probation'







naa it just means you have been here in MDC forums for over 60 days & now have access!


----------



## frowningfrog

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ms.Doula*
welcome, frowning frog!








The reason you have 'new forums' is because you are now past your 'probation'







naa it just means you have been here in MDC forums for over 60 days & now have access!










OHHHHH I see....Cool...
I am worthy now ..


----------



## 3 Little Monkeys

Hi ladies! I've been having computer problems and have been offline since Wednesday. It's lonely when you can't chat with anyone - on a side note, my house has been SO clean this week


----------



## mama4gals

Hey, everybody! I haven't posted on this thread in awhile. My mom is dying of Parkinson's Disease, and the end is very near. My parents live about 4 hrs from me, so I don't see them too often. But I did go up there on Sat. I was really glad I did. Now I am expecting the news of her death every time the phone rings. We've been preparing for this for a long time, but I still can't believe that any minute now she won't be on this earth ever again. It is so good to have so many people at MDC who have been so compassionate and caring. I really feel less lonely because of you all. I'll keep you posted.

Liz


----------



## frowningfrog

Quote:


Originally Posted by *3 Little Monkeys*
Hi ladies! I've been having computer problems and have been offline since Wednesday. It's lonely when you can't chat with anyone - on a side note, my house has been SO clean this week










Glad your back..


----------



## frowningfrog

Liz,








I am so sorry about your mother. We are here for you if you need to talk.







mama








Christine


----------



## mama4gals

Thanks, Christine! You guys are the greatest! Still no news...I'm going to call my sister this morning. I just don't see how she can last any longer. It would be fitting for her to go today--it's All Saints Day (Catholic).

Liz


----------



## 3 Little Monkeys

Liz







It would be fitting for her to pass today, wouldn't it. I hope it is an easy passing for her - and for all of you


----------



## noorjahan




----------



## hu*singing*mom

Hello. I read the last page first and then read the first couple of pages... knowing that I'll soon be summoned to the babes I'm going to go ahead and post. I really understood what a lot of you are saying. Frienships take so much time and nuturing to get to that quality level that is satisfying. I have a college girlfriend who I still e-mail and see 1 or 2x per year and I SEE other women throughout the week; in fact occassionally I even talk to some of them on a deeper level. But there is no one I can chat with about anything and everything. No one I feel like is there for me anytime. (other than dh... but I need a woman friend too). I just started to know another lady I met on MDC and am hoping that we will be able to develop a friendship but would also be interesting in posting here to see if I can develop some other supports. More about me later and I look forward to reading some new pages soon.


----------



## Samjm

Hi

I'll join too. I moved to the US 5 years ago, and have not had a close friend since I got here. I made a few friends, but they've all moved away or drifted away, and none of them were really close.

I have a few things that make it even harder to meet and make friends. Firstly, I work fulltime, so my free time is pretty busy as it is. I don't really have much time to spend going out for coffee etc. Also, I am very shy. I don't trust people much at all, and it takes a long time for me to warm up to someone enough to tell them my deep secrets.

It is very very lonely, and I know that I need at least one close friend for my own health. I just don't know where or how to meet this person!


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## noorjahan

*


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## burke-a-bee

I've been off-line for awhile because we didn't have power for over a week after hurricane Wilma. Now I'm back and checking in.
Is there anyone else out there in Florida?


----------



## 3 Little Monkeys

Quote:


Originally Posted by *noorjahan*
3 Little Monkeys, boy or a girl???? I know you don't know that just teasing!

People keep asking "do you know what you're having?" I say "yep, a baby" I have been saying "him" since I found out I was pregnant. About 3 more months and we'll find out


----------



## hu*singing*mom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *burke-a-bee*
I've been off-line for awhile because we didn't have power for over a week after hurricane Wilma. Now I'm back and checking in.
Is there anyone else out there in Florida?

Yes, I'm From Fl but further North than you with no effects; We've been here 2 years (lived out West 8 yrs and miss it a lot). Seems like there have been so many storms these last 2 seasons.


----------



## mamamoogs

Well I have been looking to meet some mamas that share my parenting style and just to be friends with.

I am glad I found this thread , I am a bit shy too and dont really have to many friends either, outside of my family, and the few friends I do have are older and have grown children or are younger and have no children so, it's kinda hard to relate. Dh works alot and on his time off he likes to fish, ( he has plenty of friends) seems like I am the only one with none. Don't know how that happened but here I am.....

Nice to meet ya all.


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## frowningfrog

Hey everyone,,
Sorry I havent posted in here for bit. I have been exploring my newly opened areas on MDC!!..Im having a blast. Now I am in here way longer then before ...Im addicted...







..(more so then before that is)..

So welcome all the new ladies to the tribe..nice to see you.

I went to a playgroup on friday ..I was so nervous ...but I went and had a great time and all the ladies were very nice. I am looking forward to the next meeting...
How is everyone doing in here? ....Hope all is well and Ill be seeing you round the boards
















Christine


----------



## frowningfrog

Hey al..its me again...









Im posting to tell you all what happened today ,,nothing bad ..just something I knew was going to happen it was just a matter of time...

So....my SO's mom called this morning. as soon as I picked up the phone and heard it was her I knew it ...







: ... She lives in Cali and we live in MA. SO goes to visit her at least 2x per year..the 1st time I went was last year so she could meet the baby. ok fine no prob ....we missed going this past sept. due to me having to have the surgery. now So has another week vaca, so we were to go for thanksgiving...but we cannot afford to go so we decided a few wks ago that we were not going to go. Now I am extremely relieved because I didnt like the plane ride and since then have developed panic attacks (not due to plane ride)...and was adamant that I would not go to cali ever again unless by land..lol and now that DD is older (4 mo the 1st time) I was freaking that she would be difficult on the plane and I need to be composed or I will have a panic attack...so flying wasnt the best thig for us to do. also the fact that I am feeling terrified to get back on one doesnt help either....
So...she calls this morning and he talks to her and when he gets off the phone he comes to me and says...My mom is going to pay for our plane tickets so we can go visit her for thanksgiving...







..How did I know that was gonna happen..hmm.....there is more behind this whole story of corse...but it has nothing to do with me ..well kinda ..it effects mylife but it doesnt involved me directly..







she is having surgery in January...she has it in his head that she will not survive the surgery so he better come visit her now while he still has the chance....







Yes she is 81 I think and yes elderly may have trouble during surgery..but this is what she does to him...,makes him feel guilty that he does not live there.
So now we are going to Cali a week from this coming friday....I do not want to go ...I am angry that this is happening...But what can I do ...nothing ...
well thanks for the mini vent on this...and please send me happy thought vibes as I will need them more then ever before I am so scared...
Oh I told him that i dont want to go , so he goes in the other room and comes back a few min later ...hes so cute







...he says ..Ill borrow money from my mother and I will take you to sea world and where ever you want to go...hehe......cause on of my grievences is that when I went last year all we did was sit around the house .(.for real)..I flew 3000 miles to sit around someone elses house....big whoop..I do that every day here...
















christine


----------



## 3 Little Monkeys

Well, Sea World will be fun at least - and if you want to drive 6 hours north, you can come visit me







I've got 3 girls, I'm sure we can keep your dd entertained









honestly, she reminds me of my IL's - except they live less than 1/2 a mile away (aren't I the lucky one







) Guilt trips are their specialty and OMG you'd think the world was coming to an end if we dont call them every few days - they get all ticked off at us if we don't come by at least once a week (or more) My response lately is "the phones work both ways" and "you have to drive right by my house anytime you go anywhere - if you want to see the kids so bad, you stop by here" Of course if they did that I'd probably be here complaining that they keep dropping by


----------



## klg47

I'm going to have to read through this whole thread. I have no real life friends that I keep in contact with. I have some acquaintances that I see each week at church. It's no way to live though. I have no one that I can really trust and fall back on. I think it will really hurt me eventually. I just don't have the inclination or energy to cultivate friends. I guess that needs to go on my goal list!!


----------



## 3 Little Monkeys

I'm the same way - I've got some aquaintences (other moms I talk to at school when I pick dd up) but that's it, no one I'd invite over for the little one's b-day party or anything. I suppose that's why I'm so resentful that we moved here. We are close to dh's family (too close if you read my above post) but my family is all in AZ and WA (we're in CA) I grew up in AZ so that's where my friends are - the couple that I keep in contact with anyway. I've been here almost 5 years and still don't really know anyone - rather pitiful I think


----------



## noorjahan

*


----------



## starlein26

no friends for me either....except a few friends that i send the occassional email to.


----------



## frowningfrog

Quote:


Originally Posted by *klg47*
I'm going to have to read through this whole thread. I have no real life friends that I keep in contact with. I have some acquaintances that I see each week at church. It's no way to live though. I have no one that I can really trust and fall back on. I think it will really hurt me eventually. I just don't have the inclination or energy to cultivate friends. I guess that needs to go on my goal list!!









mama..
Just seamed you needed it...








Christine


----------



## Samjm

Quote:

Samjm, where are you originally from?
I'm from South Africa.


----------



## noorjahan

*


----------



## noorjahan

*


----------



## frowningfrog

Today I am an auntie for the first time...

My nephew was born this mornig at 4am,. he is 6lbs 10 z..his name is Jackson Scott..

I am sooooooooooo excited I cannot wait to go see him..


----------



## noorjahan

Congratulations Christine!!!





















:



































:














: to you Jackson Scott!!


----------



## 3 Little Monkeys

Congrats Christine!! I can't wait to be an auntie







dh's brother has kids, but I don't feel close enough to them to actually feel like an auntie - maybe when his younger brother has kids - or if I can get MY brother to settle down and have some


----------



## Sustainer

Congrats!

I've been gone for the weekend and I just got back so I just saw your earlier post too.

I have panic disorder too. It is nothing to take lightly. I wouldn't go near a plane no matter how much you paid me. If it were me, I would tell my partner that he will have to go by himself. I would not choose to go.


----------



## crystalpea2005

i feel the same way. i have a one yr old babe, and i feel like i lost all my friends.. i try to get everyone together, but everyones in a different head space than i.. we love to cook together as a family







: , we cosleep, but most of all were all about nursing







:







i to need some wholesome friends that value what i thinks important...im sorry youre lonely... us mamas are here for you..


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## AntMom

Hi everyone! I haven't had much time to read/post lately, but I wanted to check in quickly to say hi. Liz, I am sorry about your mother. That is difficult to deal with no matter how "ready" you are for it. Christine, congratulations on your aunthood! That is very cool.
We have been busy lately--went to my sister's birthday party last weekend at my dad's house (she's 8) and my ds had a blast. Some of the parents stayed around after the party to hang out, but I wasn't in the mood to socialize for some reason. Usually I am, but perhaps I was tired.
Last night I had my knitting class, and we voted to keep it going unofficially since last night was the final class. We will meet at the teacher's house next week. I am thrilled that I am actually knitting things that can be used--up until now I knit nothing but sample squares, and now I have two hats and half a poncho to my name!


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## briansmama

OK, I think you're all so fortunate because you're able to associate mostly with new friends who you get to choose and base that decision on what you have in common, such as natural parenting, SAHM's, bf, non-vaxing, home ed., etc.

Here's what I'm up against: DH and I grew up here in So. Cal, have family here, and have very close proximity to friends we grew up with. DH has many friends he went to college with that he still sees, and I USED to get along so well with their wives, and my friends from college and work. Then, we had DS who is now 2yrs old and our friends are also starting their families, but I do not share their views on parenting at all.

I've been a SAHM since we had our ds, and if I hear one more friend say "I am all about the nanny" or "it's really the quality of time you spend with your child, not the quantity of time" or "wow...you're still bfeeding? And he has teeth? really? why?" One even told me that she has been so "bored" at home with her children since she was laid off.

Mamas, I need advice on this. How do you handle these situations? Seriously, I think you are all sooooo lucky not to have to spend time with people like this. I would love to limit my family's social time to only other families with similar values. It's very difficult to say the least.

Just another perspective. TIA


----------



## frowningfrog

Hello briansmama,

Welcome to our world









I dont have any friends at all. I have lost touch with all of them. We are all in our 30s and they all still want to party like we are 20. We have children now and its time to grow up. So I stopped drinking and While I **** went out with them they made me feel unwelcome so I just stopped going out with them. Talking occationally on the phone and now it is down to nothing since I have had my newest child. My only adult conversing is here on line or to my SO or one of my aunts who has a baby (yes I have a 5 mo old cousin)







..

My suggestion to you is this. No one has the right to make you feel uncomfortable, and no one can force you to hang out with these people. Tell your DH that you will no longer be in these peoples presence but it is ok for him to be.
Check on line for AP mothers groups or NFL groups in your area. If you find none then start one. I belong to yahoo..so what I did was I keyword searched yahoo groups for AP moms groups and kept goping on that subject till I found something in my area. I found 2 wonderful groups, and just last week I meet them for the first time.
Or if your not comfortable doing that then look around your area and see if there may be some moms groups to check out ...you never know you may go to one of the play groups and find that there is a mom just like you who is searching for AP mamas just like you are.

Where in So. Cal. do you live we are going to Vista in a few wks to visit SOs family for the holiday.
Good luck on your search. Hope you find something


----------



## AntMom

Hi Briansmama,

I've been in your shoes too. In addition to AP and NFL groups, look for a La Leche League group in your area--that's where I met all of the moms of a similar mindset in my community.

As for dealing with old friends and friends of DH who don't share my parenting philosophy--mostly I bite my tongue and never discuss extended nursing or most other parenting issues. (why are people so against things like cosleeping?) I don't have a choice about seeing dh's friends, so I try not to talk about parenting with them. I know they look down on me b/c I stay home, but they always did before anyway (the women are all scientists or doctors, and I am an editor--they do not see me as a high-powered career person at all). I've heard all those annoying phrases ("Anyone still breastfeeding when the kid is two is just doing it for the mother's pleasure"--yeah right, tell that to my 2.5yo)--and I even had someone say "what do you do to keep busy? you're just a mom?"







Usually I hold everything in, then have a good laugh with my LLL friends. It sure is aggravating!


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## noorjahan

*


----------



## frowningfrog

Hey ladies...

heres some pics of my new nephew ..I finaly got to see him yesterday. In the pics are my Brother holding him and the other is my SIL holding him...
He is soo tiny..only 6lbs 5 oz...he was 6lbs 10 oz but lost 5 oz...holding him was like holding a feather..sooo cute ..

http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/butter...bum?.dir=/1f63


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## mamamoogs

Just wanted to get back to this thread, my computer was down fora week or so but now it's back up and running.

I will introduce myself again, i cant seem to find my original post , I think it was page three or so, not sure.

But i am 33 years old and have a one year old DD, i dont have many friends with children and the ones that do have children we don't really agree on parenting styles so it is kinda hard to communicate with them, i hope to find some other mamas here that do share some of my parenting style. I am somewhat crunchy , would love to be completely crunchy but we havent got there yet. I have a lot of family with lots of children but they are very mainstream so i really dont discuss my DD with them at all if possible. So basically i am just looking for some friendship with other mamas with whom i share some common ground....

Well thanks for reading.....


----------



## Sustainer

What a perfect baby!


----------



## 3 Little Monkeys

Quote:


Originally Posted by *frowningfrog*
Hey ladies...

heres some pics of my new nephew ..I finaly got to see him yesterday. In the pics are my Brother holding him and the other is my SIL holding him...
He is soo tiny..only 6lbs 5 oz...he was 6lbs 10 oz but lost 5 oz...holding him was like holding a feather..sooo cute ..

http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/butter...bum?.dir=/1f63









He's so precious!!! Congrats again Auntie!


----------



## mammabear

frowningfrog-
Your nephew is so sweet.


----------



## frowningfrog

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamamoogs*
Just wanted to get back to this thread, my computer was down fora week or so but now it's back up and running......


Welcome back mamamoogs


----------



## frowningfrog

Thanks all....I cant get over how tiny my nephew is...I never held a baby that small before..I was skkkkurd....


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## burke-a-bee

My DH called from Freeport last night. He's staying an extra week because he was offered a job. So no adult conversation for a whole week. AAAAAHHHHH!!!


----------



## nepenthesea

Hey Mamas,

I've been meaning to join this tribe for some time, and just haven't gotten around to it.

I am 31, and pregnant with my first child. I live in a really small town, which is about 4 hours away from my family and my old friends. I moved here 6 years ago, thinking that I would make friends eventually, but it has not happened. I should have known! My family moved alot when I was a kid, and it seemed like it always took awhile for me to make friends. Then when I did, we would have to move again







.

I do have some friends that live 1 1/2 hours away from me, but most of my friends are further away. In the town I lived in before (Amarillo), it seemed like I had a TON of friends. I had lived there for ten years, so I had the chance to get to know alot of people. My MIL talks to this day about how everytime she came to visit us there that I always ran into friends everywhere we went. She feels really bad for me, being here and being so isolated. Luckily, she is really cool, and I spend alot of time with her, but it would be nice to have some other people close by.

DH has about 4 or 5 friends, and that's it, but he spends all his time with them, so I'm alone alot. I don't really mind being alone, but sometimes I get lonely. Having alot of interests and hobbies, alot of pets, and the internet are the only things that save my sanity. My family never comes to visit because of money and work issues, so I have to go to see them.

Anyway, not trying to throw a pity-party for myself...just trying to introduce myself to other lonely mamas







I don't know any AP people, besides my midwives, so you guys help me alot







.


----------



## noorjahan

Welcoe nepenthesea to this tribe! Congratulations on your pregnancy! Hoping to see your more posts from you.

What's going on with lonely mamas? Sherrie (3lm) how's your pregnancy coming along? When are you due? I think you haven't posted much here lately! Hope to hear from you too.

Frowingfrog, your nephew is gorgeous!

mamamoogs, welcome again!


----------



## burke-a-bee

Who is due in this tribe? I can't keep track. I'm due in April and at 20 weeks as of yesterday. Half way there.


----------



## frowningfrog

Hey ladies
how are you all?
I just wanted to let you all know that I will be away in California from the 26th to dec 3rd.
I have a laptop and will try to connect online while im there to say hey.

anyone live int he San deigo area that can tell me anything interesting to do..'
We are going to Vista,and SD is about 1 hr from there.
we are going to sea world and have already been to the zoo ther so I was looking for something inexpensive and fun...
any ideas?








Christine


----------



## noorjahan

Sorry, Christine, I have no ideas for you for San Diego. I have never been to West coast! However, if you come to New York, I've plenty!!!

As a matter of fact, I have posted a thread in California/Nevada forum asking for some ideas for Lake Tahoe and San Francisco. We're planning to be there in end of March/April time. I know it's still almost 4 months away, but needed to start looking, YK? If any one of you ladies have anything for me to share please let me know here or to that thread:

Here is the thread:

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=367046


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## burke-a-bee

I think I belong in the invisible poster thread.


----------



## noorjahan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *burke-a-bee*
I think I belong in the invisible poster thread.









Why? To be honest I was going to ask you about how's your pg is coming along but was in a rush and couldn't do that. I'm at work, and can you beleive that I'm doing this while at work? So no worry dear, I noticed you meant to ask you about you and the baby!!! Will talk later..


----------



## 3 Little Monkeys

Quote:


Originally Posted by *burke-a-bee*
I think I belong in the invisible poster thread.









I'm part of that thread - it's one of the few places on mdc where I'm not ignored







Come on over - all are welcome









And to answer your last question, I'm pregnant. I'm at 26 weeks, due towards the end of February. Already had my u/s but didn't find out the sex, I want to be surprised this time. This is #4 for me and most likely my last.


----------



## pumpkinsmama

Quote:

Originally Posted by frowningfrog
Hey ladies...

heres some pics of my new nephew ..I finaly got to see him yesterday. In the pics are my Brother holding him and the other is my SIL holding him...
He is soo tiny..only 6lbs 5 oz...he was 6lbs 10 oz but lost 5 oz...holding him was like holding a feather..sooo cute ..

http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/butte...lbum?.dir=/1f63
OMG! Is it just me, or do those pics make you want to go out and "procreate" again? So cute!

I was very happy to see this thread. I am 28, w/18mo and SAH DH. I have no friends. I want friends!







Please be my friend! I am going to be off the comp for a few weeks, but I already can't wait to come back.

3 Little Monkeys, burke-a-bee, nepenthesea, and anyone else who is expecting, Congrats!!! I will send good preggie vibes your way.

I won't say much more, I will re-intro when I get back from leave. Just wanted to say once again, great thread.


----------



## noorjahan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *3 Little Monkeys*
I'm part of that thread - it's one of the few places on mdc where I'm not ignored







Come on over - all are welcome









And to answer your last question, I'm pregnant. I'm at 26 weeks, due towards the end of February. Already had my u/s but didn't find out the sex, I want to be surprised this time. This is #4 for me and most likely my last.

Sherri, do you know that you didn't see my post that I asked you how your pg is coming along? see my post # 373!!!! you ignored me there and now you wanna take one mama to another thread...........!!!!!!!









by the way, few days ago I saw one username 4littlemonkeys and I thought that was you, and you changed your username!!!! Turned out that wasn't you....so, can you beleive there is one 4littlemonkey username? I though that was funny!

Hi pumpkinsmama! Hope to hear from you soon!


----------



## frowningfrog

Hello ladies,

I just wanna say Happy Thanksgiving if you celebrate...If you dont then have a wonderful day ..

I want to tell you all that I will be going away this saturday to California and I wil be back Dec. 3rd.
I will miss being in here with you all.









Christine


----------



## noorjahan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *frowningfrog*
Hello ladies,

I just wanna say Happy Thanksgiving if you celebrate...If you dont then have a wonderful day ..

I want to tell you all that I will be going away this saturday to California and I wil be back Dec. 3rd.
I will miss being in here with you all.









Christine

I will miss you too. Have a nice safe trip. Have lots of fun!!!


----------



## noorjahan

What happened to all the lonely mamas????? Probably not lonely anymore hah?









How was everybody's Thanksgiving?


----------



## mama4gals

Hey there! I'm one of the lonely mamas, but I haven't felt too lonely lately. My mom died a few weeks ago, and I have felt so surrounded by love and sympathy. My sisters and Dad and I have been circling the wagons, so to speak, and really being there for each other. Everyone from my church has been very kind. And having people say to me they know how I feel, because they've lost their mothers too, has been very comforting. It's weird, how in the midst of this pain over losing my dear mother, I don't feel so lonely anymore. There are so many people out there who have experienced the same loss.

Liz


----------



## noorjahan

Liz

I am sorry to hear about your mom. Many hugs to you.









I'm glad to hear that you recieved such support from everybody.

For your mom-


----------



## lovemyT

Liz I am sorry for your loss.

I have been reading this thread but haven't posted since the very beginning, so I figured it was high time to introduce myself. I am Krista, 35, SAHM to a 22 month old "baby" (she'll always be my baby!). We are currently TTC #2.

I am an introvert by nature but am trying to work on it for my daughter's sake. I take her to Kindermusik and storytime every week so she can play with other kids. I'm perfectly happy to stay home and read books all day but I figure the poor kid needs to see someone other than me once in a while! I used to have quite a few girlfriends but have lost touch with all but one of them over the years. Making new friends is not easy for me but I am trying to put myself out there in the hopes that I meet someone I connect with.

Glad to be here!


----------



## 3 Little Monkeys

Noorjahan ~ looks like they went for the jugular on your post in TAO about putting someone on ignore - sorry they went after you like that. I've never used the function myself - well once when I was playing around - but not seriously. I tend to avoid controversial threads and people. If someone pisses me off, I just stop posting there. Not good because that means they win, but it works for me I guess.

I haven't posted here in awhile but I've been reading. I hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving. I've just been going day to day, getting bigger and bigger and having my insides bruised and battered. Baby's new game is putting his head against one hipbone and his butt against the other and stretching - OMG do you know how much that HURTS!?!


----------



## noorjahan

Hi Everyone!

I got some pictures from my husband's cousin's wedding thought I share! We couldn't go to the wedding which was in Texas caz hubby couldn't get days off! Anyway, my hubby's realtives don't think the bride pretty!

I don't know if you ladies saw any Bangladeshi/Indian bride before but that's how usually dress up. Let me know if you can't see the pics:

http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/mynove....net/my_photos

Oh, in this pic, the guy in the far left (well there is only 2 guys in pic except groom) he is bride's BIL. He was just 30 and passed away I think 2/3 weeks after the wedding due to a heart attack. He has one 3 years old daughter, and right before he passed away 2 weeks ago he had a son. It's just heart-breaking situation. In the pic, beside him and the bride is his wife, she was 9 months pg at that time.

http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/mynove...cd.jpg&.src=ph

3 Little Monkeys, thanks!


----------



## irinam

Wow, I don't know what to express first - my awe at the eleborate costumes or my condolences to the bride









Bride seems to never smile though - is it part of the ritual?


----------



## noorjahan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *irinam*
Wow, I don't know what to express first - my awe at the eleborate costumes or my condolences to the bride









Bride seems to never smile though - is it part of the ritual?

Yes, it's sad.

I don't know why she is like taht to be honest, becuase she did know my BIL and they fell in love and blah.... and got married. So, I was thinking at least she should have put some smile on her face. However, in my country yes, it has been a tradition that brides do not smile on their wedding day infront of so many people. Trust me, I never liked that even when I was little. I always thought what if I'm too happy to act sad? And it's weird explaining but my understanding is there are 2 reasons brides don't smile- one, (not now) it's tradition that people's marriage gets fixed by families, I guess that's why sometimes brides don't like hubby and don't smile and other cause is they are just too sad to leave their dad's house!!!

One thing is really funny, back in the days when the party is over and brides leave for the hubby's house they used to cry like H!!*. It was always a scene to see brides crying their eyes out.......and some had to actually forced to get them to get into car!!! It's just too funny now that I think!! I didn't cry and make sad faces, I was just too happy to get married to my hubby!!! If I were in my country back in the days people would have called me shameless!!!


----------



## 3 Little Monkeys

The pictures are beautiful - the bride's dress is just gorgeous, and she's such a pretty woman too! I always wondered about the lack of a smile and sort of thought it had something to do with the arranged marriages of the past.

I can't remember if I shared these pictures here or not, but here is my most recent preggo belly pic - 3 weeks ago, so I need to get a new one done soon. Here are pics from dd3's 2nd birthday (also 3 weeks ago) And these are pics of my girls on the new trampoline (an early christmas present since we won't be home for christmas, and dh couldn't find a good place to hide such a huge box







)
and a couple of pics of my friend's new baby. He was born the day before Thanksgiving and as of yesterday he weighs 6.5 lbs He makes my arms ache to hold my own little one -but I guess I'll have to wait until he or she is done cooking


----------



## noorjahan

Sherri, your girls are cutie pie!!! They are adorable!!! the youngest, Jesi, she looks like you, right? To me, she did! And I loved your latest belly pic! I can't wait to be like that!!!!

Do you have any special feeling like if this will be a boy??? My mom has 3 girls and no boys. Funny story , she had C-sec with her last. So, in Bangladesh there is no epidural, either you have completely normal without medication or you have c-sec where they do general anesthisia (sp?) . So, my mom couldn't open her eyes afte the surgery. it's funny because it's like you go to sleep and when you wake up WALA (don't know the spelling) you have a baby! My mom couldn't wake up.. that's what she told me. So, finally she was able to actually get out of the heavy medicine the day after, and my grand-ma , her mom was in the hospital with her. My mom asked her mom kind of using hand gesture (she was in bad cond with med) whether it was a boy or girl. My grand ma said "it's a girl". But she couldn't understand so my grand-ma showed her the girly part, and this is the funny part (my mom is a joker by the way) she said " as soon as I saw it I went back to sleep again"!!!! She was so badly hoping it's a boy!

But guess what? She is the apple of her eyes!


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## 3 Little Monkeys

cute story









I have been saying this is a boy since I found out I was pregnant. I'm carrying this baby MUCH lower than I did with any of the girls, everything just feels different. I could have found out at the ultrasound, but I wanted to be surprised this time. I'll be happy no matter what we have, but we're hoping for a boy so dh has someone to help him out a little. Poor guy is horribly outnumbered!

Everyone says Jesi looks like me, I'mnot quite sure. She's got my attitude and daddy's temper - quite the combination







Dani, the middle one, looks lik her daddy quite a bit and my oldest one, Mikayla, looks a lot like me except she's going to be much taller. At 11 she already is up to my chin!


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## burke-a-bee

Well I'm carrying #4 the same way I did my other three boys and we just found out it is a girl! I'm craving all the same foods and it really isn't much different. I guess I'm proving all of the old wives tales wrong.


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## noorjahan




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## frowningfrog

Hey ladies.
I just got back from my trip to California last night..
I have missed my MDC!!!...
SOOOO glad to be home is all I have to say about my trip. The only good part was when we went to Sea World and I got to touch the Dolpins....That was the best.

Well I am back now and am now going to try to catch up in here..

Hugs
Christine


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## Sustainer




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## burke-a-bee

Quote:


Originally Posted by *noorjahan*
So, when you heard it's a girl how did you feel???? my dad's best friends has 4 boys and no girls............and they act like they are the most unfortunate couple in the world!!!

In our culture boys are given preference







-for my mother!!! But guess what? Now a days I think talking about my country not here, girls are doing much better in everything like education, job, home than boys!!! YAY for my mother!

Before I knew whether it was a boy or girl, I went through a time when I really wanted a girl and then I really was set on either or. My husband was worried that 4 boys would send me over the edge but I really didn't see it that way. Now that I know it is a girl, I am in total disbelief. I just can't imagine having a girl. I don't know how it is going to be different.


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## Attached Mama

Hi

I just joined MDC. I feel like it's me writing your posts! We just moved to FL from PA and I am sooooooo lonely!!!! We only lived in PA for 1 and 1/2 yrs but I loved it there and was beginning to make some friends with some really cool moms. It takes me a long time to make friends. I guess attached moms/crunchy folks are just few and far between. So anyway here is a







to help us all feel better.


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## noorjahan

-


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## irinam

Christine! Were in California did you go?


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## frowningfrog

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Attached Mama*
Hi

I just joined MDC. I feel like it's me writing your posts! We just moved to FL from PA and I am sooooooo lonely!!!! We only lived in PA for 1 and 1/2 yrs but I loved it there and was beginning to make some friends with some really cool moms. It takes me a long time to make friends. I guess attached moms/crunchy folks are just few and far between. So anyway here is a







to help us all feel better.










Welcome ...
there are so many great moms here, I love it here...


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## frowningfrog

Mamas....where are you ..??


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## noorjahan

*


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## 3 Little Monkeys

wow, we sort of fell to the wayside, didn't we!

I'm still here, still baking the Bean Sprout







I'm at 32 weeks now and have officially hit 'miserable' I feel like a walrus trying to get into bed or roll over, I get winded walking to the kitchen, I hurt everywhere - well everywhere between my lower back and pelvis anyway. My hips are killing me and I think Sprout is dropping already. I am way past ready for baby to be here, I'm SO done being pregnant.

Other than those minor complaints, everything is going wonderfully here. It's raining like crazy right now so I'm stuck inside and am watching a spoiled little girl (8 yo) who likes to start arguments with my girls so I'm going pretty loony right now. I think I'll go grab myself a cup of hot tea and curl up with a book - if I can find a quiet corner that is


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## frowningfrog

to you mama.
I remember being preg. not to long ago, ugh to the later stages..
Hope you find that comfy space.

Hapy New Year to you all ...


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## noorjahan

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2006 EVERYONE!!


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## 3 Little Monkeys

It's amazing what a trip to the chiropractor can do for a person







I saw him today, he put my back and hip back into place, I got a great massage and I feel 200% better! I've still got lots of pressure on my hips and groin area because of the baby (I think he or she has dropped) but it's nice to be able to walk across the room without being is such horrible pain









New Years - dh and I are such party animals that we were in bed by 10







I couldn't sleep though because I had that restless leg thing going on, so I got up and watched tv in the front room. I didn't even know it was midnight until the idiots behind us started shooting off their guns







:

We've had a horrible storm for the past couple of days so our back and side yards are flooded, thankfully it can't get up to the house, but we've got no shortage of water out here, that's for sure







Poor dh is out there digging more trenches trying to get it to drain.


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## 21aniger

I have a couple friends, but my best friend, my sister moved across the country last year. My family is two hours away..I stay home with three kids, feel very lonely most days.......I am in Maryland.....I would love to move back to nj but I did lose alot of friends after having kids, I guess I wasnt fun anymore....I cant stand clicky, stuck up soccer moms that think they are perfect!!! There are alot of them around here


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## KestrelDream

Just wanted to say I'm friendless too.







Moved here to Michigan 6 years ago & haven't made any close friends...hoping I find someone who somewhat crunchy & Christian too.

Hugs to all....it sucks being alone!


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## MommyofPunkiePie

I lived in Florida for 6.5 years before I moved back home when I was pregnant. I have been here ever since! I have one kind-of friend (my brother's ex-girlfriend) and one of my cousins that I get to go out with occasionally, but they have no children. I talk on the phone regularly to a couple friends from Florida and one from NYC, but other than that I am all alone with DD.


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## Gabbi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jackie75*
Just wanted to say I'm friendless too.







Moved here to Michigan 6 years ago & haven't made any close friends...hoping I find someone who somewhat crunchy & Christian too.

Hugs to all....it sucks being alone!

Hi all. I totally know how everyone feels. I live in MID U.S.A ...basically in the middle of nowhere! I have one good friend but she has a newish baby and I hate bothering here to just chat. Today is my birthday and I must say I'm a little down...I sat this morning holding the phone waiting for my parents to call...how pathetic. Hubby has a demanding job so often It's just me and the little guy, while the others are at school.
Being on MDC is kind of like waiting for a rose on a bad season of the Bachelor. Although when I've had a concern I have always received input by great mama's..I haven't clicked with anyone.
I am a christian also jackie75, I will say other religion groups seem downright precious! *sigh*......Maybe we should convert..








You would think after all the work I have to do around here I wouldn't have time to be down.

Don't be cruel guys if I'm off thread. Today's my birthday and I'm downright PATHETIC!


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## Gabbi

It's nice to meet everyone!


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## janebug

Happy Birthday Mama!!!

You aren't pathetic, You are Wonderful! And don't forget it!!!
have a wonderful birthday!!!!!!









I've just been a lurker here but I need to officially join! I feel like I was a lonely/no friend even before I was a mama...we've moved twice since ds was born (June 04) b.c of my job and I'm just not that good at getting out and finding people. I've been going to la leche league and talked to a couple people at playgrounds/storytime but I guess I'm just shy. People in my office seem to get worse with every move and even though some are nice, I don't have much in common with anyone, argh and I work with farmers and am supposed to do alot of outreach (of course at night) and I don't much want to do that instead of going home to be with my little guy and not like I'd start connecting with the farmers! ( plus my dh works at night so it just feels that much lonelier). My sisters are good buddies but just too far away, we keep talking about starting a business so we can be close but who knows if that will happen.....

glad to be here







mdc









and have a wonderful day, Gabbi!!!!


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## Gabbi

Welcome to you also Janebug! I am the same....we moved here 5 years ago..and when people need directions etc. I hear myself saying "we are new here"..i finally realized the other day..I'M NOT NEW HERE...lol. I don't go much...my husband is always working/on call and our family time is precious. I tried working for our church with toddlers but realized..I'M WITH A TODDLER ALL DAY..I NEED ANOTHER AGE GROUP..I would prefer say....30ish-50ish, maybe over lunch!
I tried a MOPS class, but everyone just wasn't friendly..besides I'm a talker







so sitting still while they try to teach me how to organize my finances just wasn't for me. (Don't get me wrong, they are great women)...but I need to be somewhere I can YACK!

Better get busy with the little guy...it's alphabet time!!

Can't wait to "meet" each of you!!!


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## Darcy37

Iam a gabber also and out going and it is hard to make friends people have there clicks and dont like to add to the group so it takes years to make friends and Iam in the military so once you make friends a move is imminent.


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## Nature

subbing to your tribe. I'm







and pretty friendless too.







I USED to have friends, but somehow having kids seemed to make them dissapear.


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## Gabbi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WitchyMama2*
subbing to your tribe. I'm







and pretty friendless too.







I USED to have friends, but somehow having kids seemed to make them dissapear.

Off thread here....but Congrats on your new arrival. She's a capricorn like me. Organization city!







If we need to move this conversation let me know....but....she was born by the full moon eh?

The one good friend I have here also has a baby. We talk on the phone but it seems we are both so into our own schedules that driving or walking the 3 blocks to the other's house is just not fit into our routine.
Years ago when I lived near my best friend we STILL never seen each other in person. We talked on the phone..but that was about it.
It's tough when you are into your own schedule of doing things. Oops ..maybe that's the capricorn in me.

Have a great day mamas!


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## Nature

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Gabbi*
Off thread here....but Congrats on your new arrival. She's a capricorn like me. Organization city!







If we need to move this conversation let me know....but....she was born by the full moon eh?

NAK

Thank you! She is adorable and so laid back! Totally unlike how my other two were!







(Gemeni and Leo) Technically born two days before the full moon.


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## wahoowhippets

Anyone from around Citrus County, Florida? I would love to meet some moms (or even just one mom)from around here! I am lonely too!


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## Gabbi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WitchyMama2*
NAK

Thank you! She is adorable and so laid back! Totally unlike how my other two were!







(Gemeni and Leo) Technically born two days before the full moon.









Ouch..both of my sons are Gemini..and they are something else. Don't know too many Female Geminis ....









Not from Florida here Wahoo, however the warmer climate would be very appreciated around now. We are taking our kids to Orlando on vacation this year....DISNEY HERE WE COME! *someone pass the motrin*...We reserved our resort this weekend. They are so excited! My little one keeps asking each morning if today is the day he goes to Mickey's house.








I need some more coffee..I was up until FOREVER this weeeee morning finishing our taxes! Thank goodness I'm finished. It's so very simple, but so time consuming.
Better go...little one is wanting a COLD HOT DOG for breakfast! GAG

Hope 3littlemonkeys is feeling better. I have major hip back issues and that is one reason (of the many) I'm terrified of having #4. I wake up hurting all over!

Take care mamas!


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## pamlindsay

I understand. I have had times where I have had many friends and times where they are either gone or out of my like. You will make it through. Are you getting around others some how to make friends?

Pam


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## SpudinPhilly

What a great thread - a virtual friendship circle of sorts







I feel for you all and I love the support we're showing each othere here (I've not had the chance to read all fo the postings here, but I thought I would add my own). I'm somewhat in the same boat. On the whole, I wish we'd moved to England already where we have more friends out there (most of them have moved there over the past few years) than here in the US, and at least one of our mothers will be nearby (mine is all the way in Vancouver, Canada, and my hubby's Mum's all the way in England) but I've gotten to know some lovely women here in PA which helps me feel more at home and keep thpse lonely cobwebs mostly dusted off.

Well, I've been moving around most of my life first with my family (no, am not a military brat) and the on my own (being adventurours I guess) living/working abroad, etc. My Mum would always bring this up as if it's her and Dad's fault for not providing a deeper rooted experience in my childhood, but I always thank her for that and the fact that I now have the tools how to feel content when I'm on my own without too many friends (I think this is invaluable!), and also how to make friends quickly.

Now, I'm in my Mum's shoes of following my then BF and now husband, away from any family and friends - uprooted myself from SE Asia after 4 years there 'cos I felt ready to leave (and me living there in a small country as it was, I was getting tired of the social scene there and everyone knowing everyone else's business). What I've found most difficult is that now that I've changed careers - opted out of the working as an Exec. in Marcoms for a multinational broadcasting company to working p/t as a freelancing yoga teacher, is that because I don't have a regular schedule or am not in constant contact with people I might have a harder time connecting than I was used to when I had a more regular working schedule (meeting with friends after a hard day at work was a great way to stay connected and to decompress) out of home. What I have found helps is to take part in seminars and courses to upgrade my own yoga teaching skills and I've met a lovely woman who also teachers in my community. In fact I've thown some teaching opportunties her way (and she's willing to sub for my classes when my pregnancy gets too combersome, and to give me a break later being a de-facto grandmother to my "spud" when I want the break and go to teach now and again), and we meet every other week for extended breakfasts talking about teaching yoga and others stuff too. I've also occasionally met up with other yoga teacher friends, and one of them's a fairly new Mum herself so we have loads to talk about every time we meet. I've also connected with a couple of my previous yoga students. One of my studnets I don't teach currenly as I've stopped teaching at that studio, but she and her husband are like an uncle and aunt to me - I love them to bits, I must admit. I've also volutneered to help her declutter her house and in exchange she's been wonderful about driving me to my pre-natal visits. The other one is this amazing artist who works late, so lately she' not been able to come to my classes, but we meet up every other week - and she's had many children so it's wonderul to get some motherly and earthy advice. She's offered to lend me one of her beautiful paintings to help inspire my birth. And there's my ex neighbour that I first met by offering free introductory yoga private lessons in my building. She works from home as a freelance writer and is about my Mum's age. She's very busy most of the time but when we meet I really enjoy her company.

It's funny 'cos I used to think that, or more accurately my Mum always thought, I was shy and introverted as a young girl. I think I always valued investing my energy in those I found I really clicked with. And teaching yoga has helped me feel more comfortable with myself and getting out of my shell in terms of being in front of a group of seeming strangers without having a heart attach from stage fright.

Now, while pregnant I am attending pre-natal yoga classes. A few months ago it was pouring outside and I asked if there were any of the ladies who lived in my neighbourhood and driving and if I could catch a lift. That was a great way to find out which of them was living nearby. And now I've managed to connect with one of them and she lives half a block away. But she may be moving this summer out of state depending on her next job







But some of the rest are wonderful too, just more of a walk I guess.

So, what I can say, in particular for those of you too shy, dig deep in your self and find out what your hobbies/interests are - crafts, knitting, reading, swimming, gardening, cooking, yoga, La Leche League, natural aprenting, etc. - and find out if there are groups in your community you can join a group of them or attend free lectures or seminars, books clubs, garderning clubs, cooking lessons, etc etc. If shy, you don't have to say much, but a smile can go a long way. Eventually, expanding one's circle of acquantances can sprout some amazing friendships. (although too many aquantences can be a nuisance too, and that's when you have to ask yourself if those relationships are being reciprocated and if not it's time to cross those names from your little black book - I used to call that friendship weeding).

But yes, it does take effort. Making plans to meet at your fave cafe/bakery, organizing tea or dinner at home. The effort always pays off though. It took me 1.5 years of getting know people here in Philly and the few women I've connected with here so far. Also, I think tis' the quality of your relationship and not the quantity of those whom you think are your friends. I keep in touch with most of friends who are scattered around the globe via e-mail, or MSN Messenger.

And I'm still working on expanding my circle of friends who are in the same boat as me or with similar values at this stage in our life. I'm planning to start attending La Leche League meetings soon









And this Feb. I'm off to the UK to visit my hubbies family, and while in London I'm having a friend out there help organize (she sourcing for hte venue and making teh booking and I keep everyone informed of the "plan") a re-union catch-up dinner with friends, which I really really look forward to.


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## Darcy37

Why do you call yourself spud in philly? lol I live in Idaho the spud state


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## SpudinPhilly

Darcy37: we call our little unborn babe "spud" because way back when I was guessing if I was pregnant or just having food indigestion, bloatedness, I was joking with my hubby that it's probably just a food baby (you know, when you get a pooch out of yorur tummy after a very full meal), and then we went on saying well, if it's a food baby who would most likely be its parents, we laughed "Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head!" and then well, the child of an adult potatoes MUST be a wee little spud. Hence the name which stuck, and we adore calling our little growing baby spud (we don't know the gender and want it a suprise, and the name we've given it is for only it's unborn self).

And we live in Philadelphia, hence the "in Philly"


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## irinam

Back to the thread when taking a break from hectic routine
















: to all the new subscribers and







to fellow Capricorns - newborn and not (My b-day is Jan11







)


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## Darcy37

Iam 20 weeks along and it is another girl so we are naming her Athena Marie but when we were first pregnant we called her dottie because she was no bigger than a period at the end of a sentence we have a magnet on our frig that says dottie.lol


----------



## SpudinPhilly

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Darcy37*
Iam 20 weeks along and it is another girl so we are naming her Athena Marie but when we were first pregnant we called her dottie because she was no bigger than a period at the end of a sentence we have a magnet on our frig that says dottie.lol

that's cute







I had another friend who called hers "bean" as it looked liked a little jelly bean on the 1st ultrasound. And another called hers "Blossom". So we wanted to create our own cute little name.

And I love the name Athena









We've made a list of boys' and girls' names and will take them with us at the birth and try out a few names to see how they fit - 'cos sometimes you just have to look at their face and you will know what their name should be.

I'm just past 24 weeks.


----------



## Gabbi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *irinam*
Back to the thread when taking a break from hectic routine
















: to all the new subscribers and







to fellow Capricorns - newborn and not (My b-day is Jan11







)

Thanks and happy LATE birthday to you!!







:


----------



## Gabbi

II also have a great friend now and they came here from India. The way she has taught me about natural cooking and mothering is just wonderful and she is such a blessing. I teach her about being A christian, yet share my interest in astrology with her as she believes highly in the same things. They believe in Hinduism (lord I hope that is correct, she would laugh her pants off at me)...I enjoy her so much, she has been a huge light in this every so dark world. What a true friend I found in her.
Growing up my family life was so very VANILLA it was depressing. My first marriage kept me stranded, far away from culture that I longed for. After falling in love and marrying my husband..what a joy my life has been. Although lonely because many of our loved ones live so far away, the cultures that surround us are so colorful they make my life full.
My friend and I laugh because I go for lunch and she teaches me her indian dishes ( I dare not name them as I never get them correct) and I teach her pasta and bread...often we say we have an Indian/Italian buffet!








The story continues....actually if you don't mind..since this is a different thread and I don't want to get booted..I'm going to make a new one and call it "Cultures of Friendship"..I will repost there. All are welcome to come along!
I started yoga last year...I was always very interested. However after beginning I started having major trouble with my left wrist/shoulder and hip.
Do you think I did something wrong? I really enjoyed it. The meditation was wonderful.
O.k. Moving this....all are welcome!!!!!







(o.k. the truth is..I don't know how to "move" it..so I will repost it there!!!!

YOU ALL ARE GREAT!!

P.S Darcy37...I was an Airforce wife.


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## Gabbi

Ok I created a thread under "Finding your tribe" called "Cultures of Friendship". Come share your experiences... didn't want anyone kicking me outta here!







Please bare with me I haven't the slightest clue what I'm doing around this place!


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## irinam

Thank you Gabbi and happy belated birthday to you too!


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## simonsmama

Hello mamas! I guess I'm a lonely mama, though I hate to admit it!







I moved to Cincinnati, Ohio 2 years ago, and still haven't made any true friends. I mean I have people I talk to, but no one close, good friends, you know? I am a little picky because I want someone who understands and supports my parenting and/or religious beliefs. There is nothing worse than getting close to someone and then have them say something totally boneheaded about AP (Such as "you're spoiling him by holding him so much"). I haven't had a best friend since I left high school. I'm very lonely! So I'll be







:


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## brownie143

I am a newbie to the site and I absolutely love it. This thread is wonderful because it lets me know that there are people out there just like me. When I graduated from hs all my friends just drifted off. I was the only one who got married and settled down right away. My dh has been like my only friend for a long time. I just want to meet some people who are in the same situation as me that I can form lasting friendships with. This seems like a good place to start.

Feel free to send me a private message.


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## momma2rylie

What a great thread this is! I am new to MDC and just stumbled upon this thread. I wanted to say that I am in a similar situation that all of you are in. When I got pregnant I just began drifting away from my former friends. I still try to converse with them, but have found that my parenting views are just so at odds with everyone else that I really don't have anything in common with my friends anymore. My husband is really the social butterfly so I usually only stubmle upon friends through him. I joined MDC in hopes of finding some virtual (or local) friends so maybe this is a good place to start? Hugs to everyone else out there in my same boat


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## Seabeacon

Hubby and I haven't had real friends since 1992. It seems like people are too busy to email, call or come visit. I hate that and am very lonely.


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## crazyeight

I just joined a few weeks ago and all the sudden this thread must've been revived. I most here a year and a half ago and although my dh had good friends here NONE of them had kids, or were even thinking about it. For a while we all had a good time but nothing ever flourished. I did find one good friend through a parenting group but she moved 3 hours away!! We still talk and see each other once in a while but its not the same. I don't make friends very well either and am pretty picky too. One person I met on this board may be a budding friendship so I am keeping my fingers crossed. Its very lonely when dh is always working and I have no money to go and meet someone, no classes I can sign up for, and no extra money to be in the parent groups that seem to be really popular. Of course I seem to be different than all the moms I meet, i am usually the youngest and not working/never had a career. So although we have kids we still don't have anything in commen. Maybe I should run an ad in the paper for a young moms group with kids under 3. Never know. Hopefully we can bond here!!


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## passionfaerie

I guess my problem as I see it is that I never seem to fit in any type of group... I am lucky in that I have one very good friend, we have been friends for several months now and it has been a real blessing. But, she is my first real friend beside my husband in several years. I'm a loner, my husband is a loner, my mom and dad are loners... you get the picture. I've accepted myself that way for the most part but I still feel that I should get out and make friends, for my kids as well as myself. Because I like to do things, and I like having adventures, and a lot of the fun in that is being around people you like.
I tend to have a hard time getting to know people, I feel akward and anxious and end up not saying enough or saying too much.








Anyway, I am Valerie, and I'm from CA. I am a sahm to DS (5) and DD (2 1/2) and married to the Mr for 6 years. I am headed back to college in a month and am hoping that will help somewhat. Good to meet you all!


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## CerridwenLorelei

thread???

I have two friends that I don't get to see often. One lives several hours away. One lives 30 minutes away but our schedules rarely mesh.


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## kellyh

Well, I can certainly relate to all of you!! It's so hard to connect with people these days. I even went to the extreme of volunteering to be room mother for my sons kindergarten class to see if I could make a friend or two. I met some really nice moms but no one who was really interested in any "background" KWIM? I did have a whole interesting life before becoming a mom. I am lucky in that I have my best girl friend who has been with me through our careers, my divorce, my pregnancy's, my births, my wedding, her wedding, etc. BUT -- now she's moving to NYC to start a new business with her husband. Both of us are freaking out actually. I'm her only friend here, too. And she has NO ONE up in NY except her DH. So, looks like the club of "really-cool-women-that-have-no-friends" continues on.
Thank you all for listening to me vent.


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## Lazyhead

hi
i have no friends either. we moved to this area 3 years ago and i have made zero friends despite joining various playgroups and attending LLL for over a year. i am not shy! just a little different i guess


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## huggerwocky

Quote:


Originally Posted by *passionfaerie*
I guess my problem as I see it is that I never seem to fit in any type of group... I am lucky in that I have one very good friend, we have been friends for several months now and it has been a real blessing. But, she is my first real friend beside my husband in several years. I'm a loner, my husband is a loner, my mom and dad are loners... you get the picture. I've accepted myself that way for the most part but I still feel that I should get out and make friends, for my kids as well as myself. Because I like to do things, and I like having adventures, and a lot of the fun in that is being around people you like.
I tend to have a hard time getting to know people, I feel akward and anxious and end up not saying enough or saying too much.








Anyway, I am Valerie, and I'm from CA. I am a sahm to DS (5) and DD (2 1/2) and married to the Mr for 6 years. I am headed back to college in a month and am hoping that will help somewhat. Good to meet you all!









Where in CA are you?


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## huggerwocky

I am feeling a little better now that maybe it's not because I am a foreigner that I''m not meeting people.

I know some part of it is because I fear driving and can't make myself to go to downtown AP groups or Mama and Me Yoga. Now we're moving to San Diego and won't have a second car till next year anyway. Not exactly an icebreaker if you say " I wish I could come but have no transportation and if I had it I'd be too scared anyway".

Ok, having a bad day me....


----------



## shirabira

Quote:


Originally Posted by *huggerwocky*
I know some part of it is because I fear driving and can't make myself to go to downtown AP groups or Mama and Me Yoga. Now we're moving to San Diego and won't have a second car till next year.

Welcome to the area Huggerwocky. I live in south OC so in California standards we are almost neighbors







. San Diego is great but I'm afraid it's going to be very difficult for you without driving. It seems like everywhere you want to go you need to take the highway to get there. I know how you feel, I used to be that way too, and till now I'm not too crazy about driving (still don't drive at night time for example). But it's hard being stuck at home all day so little by little I convinced myself to drive and life seems much better.


----------



## Julia2/7

Hi,
I can really connect with this board!
I kind of thought it was just me ( maybe some creepy old men too







), so i find it very comforting to find so many bright and like-minded people who also are lacking close friends.
I easily meet people and often get along well with them, but..... i guess i just don't know how to turn that into a real "friendship" I tend to lose track of people that i used to like and then feel guilty about not being in touch and that makes me avoid contact even more. My closest friend besides my DH is my mom and she doesn't really have other friends either. I recently had a falling out with my sister, ( she really behaved poorly toward my loving Husband) and i just miss her.
But i am so grateful for this place. Thank you thank you thank you for listening. It really helps. And i know that i am a better parent for the support i have recieved here.


----------



## marlee

Just joining here too. I do have close friends but not where I live. I go back and forth between be content and happy with the way things are and trying to find a close friend. Also do I put my time into maintaining relationships with those friends who live far away or work on building new friendships?
I'm not shy per say but I'm not outgoing either. I went to my neighbors a couple months ago to her door step and asked if she would like to go for a walk sometime she hasn't called and now I feel to shy to go back. Do I work up the courage to go back or is it just that she doesn't have the time and/or interest a new friendship? Her ds is around 8 months older than my dd. So in the mean time I try to happy to go for a walk on my own which for the most part I am but I do miss having a close friend.

This thread is really helpful to me and hopefully I can either put myself out there more or just be content with the way things are.


----------



## huggerwocky

Quote:


Originally Posted by *shirabira*
Welcome to the area Huggerwocky. I live in south OC so in California standards we are almost neighbors







. San Diego is great but I'm afraid it's going to be very difficult for you without driving. It seems like everywhere you want to go you need to take the highway to get there. I know how you feel, I used to be that way too, and till now I'm not too crazy about driving (still don't drive at night time for example). But it's hard being stuck at home all day so little by little I convinced myself to drive and life seems much better.

Well, I will have the car 1 day a week and can walk to a large plaza area, so it's not like I won't get anywhere. Just not the morning playgroups on the wrong day and 30 minutes drive away


----------



## Nature

After attempting to make another RL friend, it blew up in my face. Rejected again.









Why is it such an elusive thing to me?


----------



## charmcitymama

I am bumping this, I need some friends. One of my problems is that i let so much time pass, it feels weird to reconnect with people, and when I need to call I am already so sad/needy, it just doesn't work.


----------



## chanibell

They say its hard to make friends in Seattle. People are sometimes flaky,but Ive made a few good friends here. Some move away though b/c they want to buy an affordable home. Im hoping after this adoption I will make more friends with kids our little one's age. Of course my dh is also my best friend







But its so nice to have other girlfriends around.
cheers


----------



## marybethorama

One of the hard things about being an academic family is that a lot of people who are associated with universities move a lot. This is also the case with some of the other employers in our area such as hospitals. So often, you get to be friends with people, then they move away. It can be hard.

We also made friends (and found a place we really wanted to live) while we were on sabbatical but we had to come back.

I do have some friends now, but it took a long time and I'm still lonely sometimes.

Now it's more a matter of how to connect with the friends I DO have.

P.S.-I'd be happy to be any of your friends


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## shanesmama

I totaly understand you. It is really hard. I have some anxiety so it is difficult to make friends. Plus, it is just hard finding the type of people I like. I am by no means a umm, 'bitch', but I just don't like mean people. My SO has alot of friends, and he always tells me that one of his friends wifes or girlfriends are my friends, which they are in a sense, but that is just becuase my so and thier husbands are friends. I want my own friends. KWIM. I figure though everything is meant for a reason and God just doesn't want fake people in my life, so when I do meet a friend on my own, hopefully it will be somebody that will be a good influence in my life, forever.


----------



## caitplove

I just saw this thread for the first time, and I wish I had seen it earlier! Before having children, I had many friends, but different interests pulled us apart once I became a mother. Then, I moved from western Mass. to North Carolina. I have had a hard time making friends, even though I try to go to the local AP, babywearing, LLL meetings. Everyone seems to already have their own "group" of friends. I'm getting a bit lonely over here.


----------



## Nature

For some reason I always reach out to try to find that "close friend" or "best friend" that I always see others having. I've never been able to achieve that to the level I want it. Sure, sometimes I had a friend I called a best friend, but deep down there were things we didn't quite click with. There are differences, and then there are DIFFERENCES. Can you be that close of a friend when the differences are just so huge? Especially when they are not just silly ones, but life changing ones?

Sometimes I'm content with not having friends. I'm looked at as the weird one. The bitchy one. The girl thats too honest to have friends. I don't sugar coat everything into nicey nice. I'm tactful, but yet still blunt and honest. People tell me they like that and even respect it... but I've definatly found that my inability to lie to other people when they ask for the truth has ruined potential friendships. I'm expected to be a sounding board for their problems, and just say what they want to hear.

I can't do that. Its just not me. So, here I sit. Friendless again. Though... since we have our own tribe, I have you all. My virtual friends.


----------



## pandora665

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WitchyMama2*
For some reason I always reach out to try to find that "close friend" or "best friend" that I always see others having. I've never been able to achieve that to the level I want it. Sure, sometimes I had a friend I called a best friend, but deep down there were things we didn't quite click with. There are differences, and then there are DIFFERENCES. Can you be that close of a friend when the differences are just so huge? Especially when they are not just silly ones, but life changing ones?










:

I'm not sure if my "bitchiness" gets in the way, but sometimes, it's just like I don't fit in, or don't get social norms like other people do. I just say what I think... same problem I had in high school...









glad to see there's a whole tribe of us out there.

Erin


----------



## AmandaMacK

I deffinatly don't have any friends. I've been to playgroups and some MNOs. and Ive talked online, but as far as telephone, one on one time or just someone to go out with that doesnt involve kids, nope none here. Ive lived here over 3yrs, I speak to my neighbors (one have kids my age ) from time to time, I one true friend online that I talk to the most, and him and I have only gone out once. Otherwise it's just my kids and husband. I think mainly cus a) Im never without my kids, and the one day my dh has off i want with him.. and b) im not very social, I dont like crowds, I dont like the public, and im really shy, just the type to sit in the corner while everyone else talks.

It sucks, cus Im 26, have no friends, no life, and im just lonely. I can only talk about trains so much with my 3y/o lol


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## chanibell

You all have a friend in Seattle!Just hit me up! Hugs mamas!


----------



## Gabbi

I was reading some posts and wanted to pass out a







or 2, then read farther and wanted to just







everyone.
For moms who are dedicated to their families it is tough to make friends. I always said I was "too high maintenance" for new friendships. Probably because I am a blabber butt and want to explain my life to everyone from "well when I was born"..but that's typically me..going back two weeks to tell a story about WHY i bought a pair of shoes - not just the short version of buying shoes.








We moved into a new house about 3 weeks ago. I left a very familiar neighborhood where I knew every sound, where each child belonged etc....when we would take an evening walk people would say "hey, how's the tree planting coming along..or gee your little ones getting big"...when we bought this house the realtor kept saying "O you're going to love this neighborhood too, these women all get together on their porches etc. etc. etc.".....the only person who came to introduce themselves is the little old lady across the street who rents a duplex...the other women who live in the big fine old victorian homes never look up if I'm sweeping my sidewalk directly across the street from them. I see them walking to each other's homes..but no one really said "welcome"!!! I felt like I was in Jr. High all over again!
One thing is certain...our home in our cheap little neighborhood was full of kind neighbors bringing brownies or lending a hand.....now that we live in an older more established neighborhood....no one gives a crap.







:
It still stings! And I don't feel I should be the first one to extend my hand.....
Ok..see..a novel. I'll just zip it now.


----------



## Nature

Gabbi- I have the same problem with talking, explaining, and retelling my life story. A therapist once said that its a loss of boundaries or something.









At any rate, I've never found someone who was truely interested in listening much except for my Dh. (and sometimes even he just pretends







)


----------



## Gabbi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WitchyMama2*
Gabbi- I have the same problem with talking, explaining, and retelling my life story. A therapist once said that its a loss of boundaries or something.









At any rate, I've never found someone who was truely interested in listening much except for my Dh. (and sometimes even he just pretends








)

HHHmm....my degree is Psychology..of course I wasn't anywhere near therapist....







(unless I'm puting my friends lives back together







)
I'll listen to you any ole' time.

How's that little one growing?? I remember I talked to you on another board one time..or was it this one???? I get lost.


----------



## janerose

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WitchyMama2*
Gabbi- I have the same problem with talking, explaining, and retelling my life story. A therapist once said that its a loss of boundaries or something.









At any rate, I've never found someone who was truely interested in listening much except for my Dh. (and sometimes even he just pretends







)

Wow. I could have written this post & Gabbi's word for word. Can I join?

I have one woman I'm close friends with & we've been friends since 1st grade! We live next door to my Mom & step-dad and my 5 younger brother & sisters are always coming & going though so that cuts down a lot on my need to socialize. We also try to visit my grandparents a couple times a month. Still, they're family, not friends. Friends to give you something different.

Is it corny to say that my DH is actually my best friend? We're both really introverted people (although if you met me in person I'm very talkative after I've known you a short while....which leads into the problem above...







)

Part of the problem is that we have travelled around a lot over the last 6 years. Each place we've lived I've met at least one woman who I really clicked with, but we havn't been able to keep the friendship up long term once I've moved away.

I have started talking on-line with a MDC mama who lives in my area & I met briefly at the YMCA. Of course we're moving again in another year for DH to go to grad school....

Are you seeing a pattern yet?









Holly


----------



## Gabbi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *janerose*
Wow. I could have written this post & Gabbi's word for word. Can I join?

I have one woman I'm close friends with & we've been friends since 1st grade! We live next door to my Mom & step-dad and my 5 younger brother & sisters are always coming & going though so that cuts down a lot on my need to socialize. We also try to visit my grandparents a couple times a month. Still, they're family, not friends. Friends to give you something different.

Is it corny to say that my DH is actually my best friend? We're both really introverted people (although if you met me in person I'm very talkative after I've known you a short while....which leads into the problem above...







)

Part of the problem is that we have travelled around a lot over the last 6 years. Each place we've lived I've met at least one woman who I really clicked with, but we havn't been able to keep the friendship up long term once I've moved away.

I have started talking on-line with a MDC mama who lives in my area & I met briefly at the YMCA. Of course we're moving again in another year for DH to go to grad school....

Are you seeing a pattern yet?









Holly

All I have to say about your post is









O, and









I have 3 children and my husband works a HIGHLY stressful, always needed, pager carrying career that drives me insane. I often complain that we don't have "grown up friends" but I guess we are just as much to blame for not having grown up friends...we don't like to leave our kids....YEP, we gripe every chance we get about how we never have adult time...but we are the ones that drag our brats with us everywhere we go.

I guess I'm to blame for not having the "girlie" friendships either because I'm one who gets very set in my daily routine and don't like to break it.

I guess I'll just stick with you guys!


----------



## MommyofPunkiePie

I'm a







, too!!! I love to listen though, as well.


----------



## Gabbi

Mommyofpunkiepie


----------



## Gabbi

Ok, I've killed the thread.


----------



## janerose

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Gabbi*
Ok, I've killed the thread.









Nope, just fussing with my co-op stuff.









Does anyone else have a problem making friends at playgroups? I've been to a couple with DD. The moms talk, but nobody seems to exchange names. I actually noticed this with DD's swim class too. Everyone introduced thier children by name but not themselves. I actually got kind of aggressive (in a good way I hope







) about saying, "Hi, I'm Holly. I'm sorry but I didn't catch your name...."

*sigh* I have to admit that my introvertness is my one big concern with homeschooling DD. Maybe introverted isn't the right description. I guess homebody would be a better one. I really do the playgroup thing for her not me, since I'm perfectly happy for weeks on end not seeing anyone but DH each day & my family occasionally. Guess I'm just a freak that way.









Anyway, enough rambling. Gotta get to bed so I can function tomorrow.

Holly


----------



## janerose

PS: Tammy I love your siggie. That clothes hamper lives in my house too!


----------



## Gabbi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *janerose*
PS: Tammy I love your siggie. That clothes hamper lives in my house too!









We just bought a new house..as my little guy says our "new/old house"...I have a clothesline and LOVE IT....everyday I've been doing a load of laundry and hanging it out.....LOVE IT < LOVE IT!!

I went to one playgroup..but they did crafts and cooked...I was like "to heck with work gals...I want to let the kids play and sit around with our feet up yacking about our husbands and how they didn't take out the trash AGAIN while we share a bab of M & M's...OR SOME ORGANIC FRUIT WOULD BE NICE!!!!!!!!







I didn't want to go there to "work".


----------



## Nature

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Gabbi*
HHHmm....my degree is Psychology..of course I wasn't anywhere near therapist....







(unless I'm puting my friends lives back together







)
I'll listen to you any ole' time.

How's that little one growing?? I remember I talked to you on another board one time..or was it this one???? I get lost.

You didn't kill the thread!! I was actually outside today! A friend came over (and I use the term loosely







) and we walked to the health food store together, Goodwill, and the music store to buy some incense. It was so nice to get out with someone for a change... but then it kinda gets me down because I know its really all pretend. That bond I'm looking for just isn't there ya know?

All my kiddos are doing great! The little one is 4 months old!







Time flies!! (and yes! i do remember talking with you!)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *janerose*
*sigh* I have to admit that my introvertness is my one big concern with homeschooling DD. Maybe introverted isn't the right description. I guess homebody would be a better one. I really do the playgroup thing for her not me, since I'm perfectly happy for weeks on end not seeing anyone but DH each day & my family occasionally. Guess I'm just a freak that way.









Oh my! I could have written this! I TOTALLY dislike going to functions where other moms are with their kids. In my experience its been about competition and judging. I've never felt comfortable with other moms.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gabbi*
I often complain that we don't have "grown up friends" but I guess we are just as much to blame for not having grown up friends...we don't like to leave our kids....YEP, we gripe every chance we get about how we never have adult time...but we are the ones that drag our brats with us everywhere we go.

This is me too! My kids have never been with a babysitter, or even a family member except when I was in the hospital having the last baby. I've finally been able to get out for an hour or so by leaving the kids with their daddy. For years he wasn't comfortable doing it alone.


----------



## Gabbi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WitchyMama2*
You didn't kill the thread!! I was actually outside today! A friend came over (and I use the term loosely







) and we walked to the health food store together, Goodwill, and the music store to buy some incense. It was so nice to get out with someone for a change... but then it kinda gets me down because I know its really all pretend. That bond I'm looking for just isn't there ya know?

I do know what you mean. My one and only true best friend lives in Tennessee.....often in the summer we can yack on the phone for two hours..but since my youngest has became so high maintenance those long conversations are over I fear.
I have debated finally walking across the street and introducing myself to my neighbors that haven't bothered to do the same..but they are all late 40's early 50's and I think.."why bother? It's not like we have SOOO much in common anyway. They are always having BMW's full of guests over and they sit out on their screened porches laughing...I'm prying the water hose out of someone's hand and chasing them into the bathtub." *sigh*

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WitchyMama2*
All my kiddos are doing great! The little one is 4 months old!







Time flies!! (and yes! i do remember talking with you!)

Four months is SUCH a fun age!! I loved that age. Gee, now all I have is a mean almost 4 year old that likes to drive me crazy by saying words like "booby" over and over........







:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WitchyMama2*
This is me too! My kids have never been with a babysitter, or even a family member except when I was in the hospital having the last baby. I've finally been able to get out for an hour or so by leaving the kids with their daddy. For years he wasn't comfortable doing it alone.

My parents live about 2 1/2 hours away. My sister lives in the same town..my mother ALWAYS has her kids..ALWAYS.....it tends to P*ss me off because when I needed someone for outpatient surgery everyone complains and wonder why I don't HIRE SOMEONE to help with the kids.







: My mother just called and asked if I wanted to send my daughter (10) to her next week while my oldest is with his father....I mean could it be possible to only have the little one here all next week???









Okie dokie mamas, I gotta get my butt up and get ready. I need to buy some food for the troop of boys my 14 y.o is having stay the night. WOO HOO......


----------



## marieangela

Mind if I join you? I've been feeling rather lonely lately.
I have a few good friends that live very far away from me. I rarely get to talk to them these days and even more rarely get to see them. Two of my good friends happen to be sisters and one of them just moved two doors down from the other. I am happy that they have each other, but it's sad for me to think of how nice it would be to have one or both of them living in my vicinity. It's even harder to get in touch with either of them now, because between them they have 4 children under 4 years old and don't get much time to chat on the phone. I have one friend in my city, but she is in med school and I rarely get to see her. My parents live 5 minutes away from me and they help me out a lot with the boys and such, but sometimes I feel like it's kind of sad for an almost 31 year old to be hanging out with her parents so much. Plus they are older and aren't up for hikes and such, which I like to do, but not necessarily alone with a 3 year old and a 9 month old. My dh works crazy long hours, so I'm basically a single mom. I'm pretty shy and tend to have a hard time meeting people or, as I've seen mentioned, taking hello's at playgroups and playgrounds and such to the next level. I'll quit rambling now..


----------



## Gabbi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *marieangela*
Mind if I join you? I've been feeling rather lonely lately.
I have a few good friends that live very far away from me. I rarely get to talk to them these days and even more rarely get to see them. Two of my good friends happen to be sisters and one of them just moved two doors down from the other. I am happy that they have each other, but it's sad for me to think of how nice it would be to have one or both of them living in my vicinity. It's even harder to get in touch with either of them now, because between them they have 4 children under 4 years old and don't get much time to chat on the phone. I have one friend in my city, but she is in med school and I rarely get to see her. My parents live 5 minutes away from me and they help me out a lot with the boys and such, but sometimes I feel like it's kind of sad for an almost 31 year old to be hanging out with her parents so much. Plus they are older and aren't up for hikes and such, which I like to do, but not necessarily alone with a 3 year old and a 9 month old. My dh works crazy long hours, so I'm basically a single mom. I'm pretty shy and tend to have a hard time meeting people or, as I've seen mentioned, taking hello's at playgroups and playgrounds and such to the next level. I'll quit rambling now..

Don't know if I'm an "official member" of this thread to be the one extending a







But I will anyhoo. Good to have ya mama!


----------



## Nibikwe

Quote:


Originally Posted by *marieangela*
Mind if I join you? I've been feeling rather lonely lately.
I have a few good friends that live very far away from me. I rarely get to talk to them these days and even more rarely get to see them. Two of my good friends happen to be sisters and one of them just moved two doors down from the other. I am happy that they have each other, but it's sad for me to think of how nice it would be to have one or both of them living in my vicinity. It's even harder to get in touch with either of them now, because between them they have 4 children under 4 years old and don't get much time to chat on the phone. I have one friend in my city, but she is in med school and I rarely get to see her. My parents live 5 minutes away from me and they help me out a lot with the boys and such, but sometimes I feel like it's kind of sad for an almost 31 year old to be hanging out with her parents so much. Plus they are older and aren't up for hikes and such, which I like to do, but not necessarily alone with a 3 year old and a 9 month old. My dh works crazy long hours, so I'm basically a single mom. I'm pretty shy and tend to have a hard time meeting people or, as I've seen mentioned, taking hello's at playgroups and playgrounds and such to the next level. I'll quit rambling now..

I hear ya!
Maybe it's just for mamas like us, we need to do the "hello hello, oh look our kids are sharing shovels" at the park thing for a while and one day... who knows, we might just end up in hyena hysterics with one of those mums. Like keep putting ourselves out there, and be okay with being 'alone'... maybe it's like dating... once you stop looking, The One lands right in front of you, and you weren't even trying to find them!
I'm trying to be positive about it! I feel comfortable and fulfilled with home life, and some days something is nagging inside me going "you need another mama to laugh with, like a sister, don't hide yourself away".. I would also recommend trusting your instincts: if it seems like too much work to get along and find things in common, then maybe it's not right for you.. I see you're a senior member so you've probably heard all this before!
I think this is something we can't force. Maybe we've got this time to become really deeply OKAY with ourselves, shy or otherwise

Erin


----------



## janerose

Welcome Marie! I'm new to this thread too. Just found it a couple of days ago.









Holly


----------



## Nibikwe

Oh I just thought of something else







..
I know the feeling of WANTING someone to talk to, hang out with, goof around... but I think there's a lot to be said for having very little EXTRA energy as a mama, and sometimes chitchat can be draining, esp with people we've just met and are trying to make a connection to... I think I sometimes hang around home because naptime (if/when it happens







) is when I go into my art/sewing/bamboo chair room and putter away at things I want to do! It's squeezing in some little bits of alone time, even doing the dishes or whatever... I think we sometimes forget how much time we used to have to be alone in our heads! So the choice to hesitate in starting a social life is sometimes a cry for more solo time! For me anyway. I imagine I'm not alone in that, am I ladies...?? Hmmm?? It's really hard for me to go from night nursing to the daytime mummying AND manage to get in some friend time when I haven't had half an hour to myself really.. sounds cheesy but if our batteries aren't recharged with a minute to ourselves then we have less to give to everybody, including new friends...
sum thots to ponderrrrrr

E


----------



## janerose

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Madds5*
Oh I just thought of something else







..
I know the feeling of WANTING someone to talk to, hang out with, goof around... but I think there's a lot to be said for having very little EXTRA energy as a mama, and sometimes chitchat can be draining, esp with people we've just met and are trying to make a connection to... I think I sometimes hang around home because naptime (if/when it happens







) is when I go into my art/sewing/bamboo chair room and putter away at things I want to do! It's squeezing in some little bits of alone time, even doing the dishes or whatever... I think we sometimes forget how much time we used to have to be alone in our heads! So the choice to hesitate in starting a social life is sometimes a cry for more solo time! For me anyway. I imagine I'm not alone in that, am I ladies...?? Hmmm?? It's really hard for me to go from night nursing to the daytime mummying AND manage to get in some friend time when I haven't had half an hour to myself really.. sounds cheesy but if our batteries aren't recharged with a minute to ourselves then we have less to give to everybody, including new friends...
sum thots to ponderrrrrr

E









Yes, I agree with this too. Lots of times I don't feel like dealing with the whole socializing thing because I'm just too pooped. Not to mention that being with DD all day pretty much fills up my socializing/touchy-feely tanks most days. Like I said earlier, I'm one of those people who can spend days and days pretty much by myself and I'm perfectly happy.

And lets not forget how "relaxing" outings with kids are.







My best friend has a 5 yo and a 2 yo, I have a 1 yo. I'd use the term "visit" very loosely when describing what we do when we're together. Referee is closer to it!

Also, I'm a SAHM and find it hard to get together with the few friends I do have because they're all WOHM's. They can't do stuff during the day, don't want to do stuff on weekday evenings, and aren't usually available to do stuff on the weekends unless I book 2 months in advance. Makes getting together a challenge. Thank goodness for the telephone & internet!









On the bright side though my Mom is keeping DD overnight tonight so DH & I can go see the opening of X-Men 3 and go out to dinner somewhere nice. You remember those restaurants right? The ones where they don't have crayons & people expect you to walk in looking half-way decent? Don't even get me going on how much I'm looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow...









Holly


----------



## marieangela

Thanks for the welcome. Yep, Madds5, I feel that way too. I have always tended to spend a lot of time alone in my head. I'm often torn between the desire to make a friend (and I am one who does better with one or two good friends rather than more "friends" that I'm not close to) and the fear that it will become a chore to to maintain a new relationship or that I'll get stuck with someone I really don't get along with. Sounds terrible, I know. I guess I'm spoiled by the few good friends that I've had in the past. No one could ever have quite the history or the understanding.

Hooray for date night, janerose. Hope it went well. I've finally gotten to the point where I can think of leaving my 3 1/2 year old with my parents for the night, but now I've got the baby, too. Sleeping in is not something I can look forward to for a long, long time. My birthday is next week and my parents are willing to take the boys for the evening so dh and I can go out. He's a chef, so nice dinners at fellow chef/friend's restaurants happen not too infrequently. I usually take Gavin, though.

For some reason birthdays and holidays tend to remind me of my loneliness/lack of available friends. Does that happen to anyone else?


----------



## janerose

Quote:


Originally Posted by *marieangela*
Hooray for date night, janerose. Hope it went well. I've finally gotten to the point where I can think of leaving my 3 1/2 year old with my parents for the night, but now I've got the baby, too. Sleeping in is not something I can look forward to for a long, long time. My birthday is next week and my parents are willing to take the boys for the evening so dh and I can go out. He's a chef, so nice dinners at fellow chef/friend's restaurants happen not too infrequently. I usually take Gavin, though.

The date night went great.







X3 was decent. Not as good as the first 2, but pretty good for what we call a "three-quel". Dinner was good. We also go out quite a bit (too much if I'm being brutally honest) but it's SOO nice to go without a toddler occasionally.

And boy am I glad we went. Stopped to pick up a HPT on the way home becuase AF was due quite awhile ago and it was





















: !!!

Took the 2nd one this morning & it's still positive. Gotta confirm it with the midwife, but it's looking like I won't be getting much sleeping in in the future either. Of course, you'll notice I'm posting this at 7 am. Woke up at 6 having to pee, decided to re-test, and who the heck can go back to sleep after that?









Weird thing is I took 2 tests the week after AF was due and they were negative. Guess I either ovulated a little late or they didn't work because they were the cheapie tests from the $1 store. Weirder thing is that right around the time AF was due DD kept climbing on top of me in bed, pointing at me, then signing baby. After a few times I asked her, "So you're Mama's baby?" She very clearly said NO, then pointed at my stomach & signed baby again. Also, she's been VERY clingly the past month or so, much more so than normal. Has to make you wonder....

Anyway, that's my happy news here!









Holly


----------



## marieangela

Congratulations Holly!! How exciting!









I am not even sure that I want another child-two boys are enough to handle-but one of my close (but physically very far away) friends is pregnant and it makes me miss being pregnant.<- How's that for a sentence?


----------



## amis2girls

*poking my head in*









Tammy, are you everywhere?


----------



## Gabbi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amis2girls*
*poking my head in*









Tammy, are you everywhere?









Hey girl!!! You stalking me???? I always wanted to feel important to someone.


----------



## Gabbi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *janerose*
The date night went great.







X3 was decent. Not as good as the first 2, but pretty good for what we call a "three-quel". Dinner was good. We also go out quite a bit (too much if I'm being brutally honest) but it's SOO nice to go without a toddler occasionally.

And boy am I glad we went. Stopped to pick up a HPT on the way home becuase AF was due quite awhile ago and it was





















: !!!

Took the 2nd one this morning & it's still positive. Gotta confirm it with the midwife, but it's looking like I won't be getting much sleeping in in the future either. Of course, you'll notice I'm posting this at 7 am. Woke up at 6 having to pee, decided to re-test, and who the heck can go back to sleep after that?









Weird thing is I took 2 tests the week after AF was due and they were negative. Guess I either ovulated a little late or they didn't work because they were the cheapie tests from the $1 store. Weirder thing is that right around the time AF was due DD kept climbing on top of me in bed, pointing at me, then signing baby. After a few times I asked her, "So you're Mama's baby?" She very clearly said NO, then pointed at my stomach & signed baby again. Also, she's been VERY clingly the past month or so, much more so than normal. Has to make you wonder....

Anyway, that's my happy news here!









Holly

O Holly, congrats to you Mama!







:


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## MommyofPunkiePie

Did everyone go off and find some friends without me???


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## kewb

I am still friendless.


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## chanibell

Lets get together and be friends!


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## marieangela

Still pretty friendless here, too. My one friend in the area is finding out next month where she'll do her internship for med school. I only saw her once every couple of months or so, but it will still suck if she leaves the area.


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## CerridwenLorelei

issues


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## Nature

Still friendless here too.


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## Nazsmum

Saddly I'm friendless...and would like to join. I have one friend that lives AZ and I live in NJ. I think that I remember her name.







: May I please join?


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## Abarat

: Friendless here too. All my family is on the other side of the country and I moved to a new town while pregnant and haven't met a single person to call "friend". It's tough because people here have very different attitudes and ideals than I do, so makes it difficult.







:




























:







:


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## ed_tricia

Okay, so I didn't read all 25 pages, but I noticed a trend. Alot of ppl that feel friendless have moved. We moved 6 mos. ago. We have been home (600 miles) once a month since, but now will not be going back until April or May. Anyway! I go through phases. I have made a lot of effort the past few weeks to e-mail old friends (most of which moved away within the past 2 years). I have also been working on 3-d friendships (ppl that live here).
My 2 suggestions: go to church and try to find a mom group.
I recently came across a yahoo group for babywearing moms in my area. I am new to actually babywearing, but I have been doing it with just my arms all along! Anyway, they meet twice a month for a playgroup and to help newbies like me. The first meeting is Friday and I am excited. I am hoping to meet someone I can hang out with. I know it's cheesy, but there's a local place with great root beer and I want a buddy to go sit and drink root beer with!
Good luck to all! Just wondering-anyone in CO Springs?


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## allye

I feel for you mama, most of my friends are online... I moved from Vancouver to Kamloops almost 3 years ago, and the few friends I do keep contact with, I never see







No one comes up here to visit, or if they do its very seldom... I don't have many friends here either because to be honest with my son and his many deficits I have to spend more time with him, and less time with a social life, or rather a lack of one...


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## kewb

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Nazsmum* 
Saddly I'm friendless...and would like to join. I have one friend that lives AZ and I live in NJ. I think that I remember her name.







: May I please join?

I live in NJ maybe we can be friends.


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## Abarat

Suggestions I've seen and others have told me:

Going to church:
Well, I live in a rural area in the south and am not Christian, so this makes it difficult to meet people around here.









Find a Mom's group and join:
I did find our local mom's group, but like the above suggestion, they are all very Christian and most attend the same church. They communicate through a yahoo group and comments on there about non-Christians have really put me off of that group. I really don't feel welcome there.

Anyone else deal with these issues too? Something making you a social outcast as well as an isolated mother?


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## Lilike

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Abarat* 
Anyone else deal with these issues too? Something making you a social outcast as well as an isolated mother?

ooh! me! in addition to being non-Christian i'm a college student and don't know any other mom's. all my old friends are still doing the college drinking/partying thing. i don't fit in there and i don't feel like i fit in in a mom's group either. i've thought about looking for a mom's group but it just seems so weird and out of character for me. if i could find some young, atheist, punk-type mom's to talk about music and lit with then maybe i could do it


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## MommyofPunkiePie

Has anyone tried using the Law of Attraction to attract friends? I've just started reading about it, and hopefully there will come a time when I can actually use what I'm reading!


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## Nazsmum

Kewb- Where are you in NJ? I live in North NJ.


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## kewb

I'm in Bergen County.


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## Abarat

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyofPunkiePie* 
Has anyone tried using the Law of Attraction to attract friends? I've just started reading about it, and hopefully there will come a time when I can actually use what I'm reading!









I haven't heard about that...is it something you can sum up a bit to give us an idea? I'd love to hear more!


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## CerridwenLorelei

yes

No UU church here either they are all 40-60 minutes away

I tried the MOMS group but was the only homeschooler so was treated like a pariah...oh and I wasn't living in a mcmansion with manicured nails and nannies. I kid you not...


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## Nazsmum

I'm in Union. So what is the next step? Meet somewhere?

PS I don't have a computer I use my parents. But I check it daliy.

PSS My name is Andrea


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## MommyofPunkiePie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Abarat* 
I haven't heard about that...is it something you can sum up a bit to give us an idea? I'd love to hear more!

I'm really bad at summarizing (I'm a paraphraser







), but this link to this video trailer is a good overview. http://thesecret.tv/movie/trailer.html Basically: What you think about, you bring about. So if you think about good things, i.e. lots of friends, the house of your dreams, that all bills are paid, the Universe makes sure to return those things to you. However, if you think that you have no friends, no money for bills, or a crappy house, the Universe will make sure to give you what you project.

The movie, The Secret gives pointers on how to attract what you want from the Universe. There are also several books (Excuse Me Your Life Is Waiting, What the Bleep Do We Know?, and others) that give more practical pointers.

I'm really new to this way of thinking; I've watched 3/10 of The Secret movie and read about 1/2 of Excuse Me.... What I am doing to get my mind ready for the switch from negative to positive is to write down everthing I am grateful for every night just before I go to sleep.


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## Mamma Christi

I have a lot of 'acquaintances' but very very few people that I am friends with enough to really consider them friends. I spend 99% of my time at home by myself.









Subbing..


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## mamaprek

I thought I was the only friendless person on the planet! Thank goodness I came across this post! The funny thing is, I KNOW a ton of people, but have no one that I truly consider a friend. It is very lonely. My husband is out of the house a lot and I get so sad being alone.


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## Nazsmum

Hey how are you friendless people out there??? I went to a "mothers" group. I thouht hey why not right??? Well wrong. They had a party for the children and basical servied McDonalds and then let the children watch a movie. It made a sick. When my son did not want to watch the women was so suprised. She asked what his favorite show was. Well you get the drift. And that says nothing about the mom's. All they talk about is the group...planing the next event well I'm sitting there wanting to have an adult conversation. It was sooooo sad. But like my Mother said I tried. My mother can't understand where the women were coming from and so can't I. Thanks for listen to me. Ang


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## ^guest^

Wow...I think I just manifested this thread LOL.

I'm back living in MI with my husband, for a few more months until we move back to my hometown in Cali. I have NO friends here. The friends I made in the years I lived here have moved. Okay I take that back, I have one friend I've appropriated from my DH. We see him maybe twice-three times a month (we try to get together for Rome every sunday but that doesn't always pan out). I have no mom-friends. All my friends back home in Cali are child-free (and planning to stay that way indefinitely) college students. DH works 5 days a week now, I'm SAHMing and plan to stay that way until DD goes to preschool...

I'm an intense introvert, and I make friends by listening intently to people talk until they stumble on a topic I know something about. This works great...except the ONE girl I know who is my age with a kid....is the same )@#()@( way! So we just sit there making awkward small talk (she's my appropriated friend's new wife) and hoping I don't offend her, as we are...wierdly, kind of dopplegangery. Like the same person with diametrically opposing values and viewpoints.

I'm so isolated I'm talking to my friend's MSN away message. I'm rocking out some My Chemical Romance while DD sleeps and I scrub down the basement for the last ever episode of Rome..so probably the last time I can expect to have human contact outside of DH, DD, and MIL for a while







: So I sat down and pulled up MDC out of sheer loneliness, and voila! This thread appears.









My sig pretty much sums up how I feel right now. I can't do mainstream message boards because I'm definitely not in line with the status quo, but I just don't fit here either. Story of my life.

Edit: And I think I might have offended the rest of my super-hip cool kid friends because I saw 300 and hated it, quite vocally. I swear every time I open my mouth I alienate myself more and more


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## ^guest^

You know, I'm totally just going to talk to myself here for a minute, cuz it seems it's all I do anyways -

It seems like we all have different variations on the same problem. We live in areas that have a high quotient of....I hate to say but people who just fall in line with whatever is hip at the moment..it varies among age range and all that, but when you're an opinionated woman among people who aren't capable of thinking outside their bubble, or even imagining there is life beyond said bubble, you become isolated. Especially if you're new in the area and aren't in with whatever scene is popular for people in your age range, whether it's tupperware and cocktail parties or keggers.


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## Darcy37

Iam an airforce wife so keeping good friends or making new ones is difficult.We got to our new base and I knit and I told my hubby Iam bummed no one to knit with he told me to start a knitting group I started one up on meetup.com and was able to switch it to yahoo which is free and I have 13 members now and I have only been here a little over a month so whatever you are interested in go to meetup.com and set up a group or start a yahoo group.I hope this helps.


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## ^guest^

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CerridwenLorelei* 
yes

No UU church here either they are all 40-60 minutes away

I tried the MOMS group but was the only homeschooler so was treated like a pariah...oh and I wasn't living in a mcmansion with manicured nails and nannies. I kid you not...

I have to ask because I'm a giant dork...did you ever play everquest (I knew a gal who had a character named Cerridwen and lorelei rings a bell too...yeah I'm huge geek ignore me)


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## amis2girls

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Neoma* 
I'm an intense introvert, and I make friends by listening intently to people talk until they stumble on a topic I know something about.

Goodness, that is so me.









I'm finding bedtime for me is really hard. Three kids who need me for everything (ok, so it seems) and by the end of the day I just want to sit by myself, not do more talking.


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## jenn72

Ah this is so me. I have a couple of friends I see maybe once every month or two, and a few I mostly email. For the most part I spend all my time with ds and dh. It does get very lonely at times. I am very introverted and shy and find it hard to get to know people. Plus, as a pp stated, I don' really fit in anywhere. I am not mainstream enough for mainstream mommies, not crunchy enough for crunchy mamas. It has always been this way, with any "group". A little too weird and yet not weird enough


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## marieangela

Interesting time to see this thread pop up again. I just found out that one kind of "friend" that I saw every once in a while was moving out of state and now she's gone. She actually had a son the same age as my older ds. Then I found out that a friend that I've known since college, but don't see that often is staying in town, but that's just because she gets to do her residency for med school here. I imagine I'll see even less of her, but at least she's still around.

I definitely relate to the not quite fitting in with any group and being an introvert. I've probably mentioned that before! I'm going to see my two closest friends on the other side of the country in May. I pretty much never talk to one of them anymore (she has 3 children) and I seldom get in touch with the other one who just had a new baby and has a two year old. It will be great to spend time with them, but I doubt we'll get to catch up much with 7 children between us and I know I'll be depressed when I come back home...


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## NamastePlatypus

I know how you feel OP, I am in mainstream hell and no one here is willing to even accept how I parent and live. If I could find like minded mamas here I would love it but I have no desire to hold company with those who don't respect me. I can get over if they are different, would love them to be the same, but I have to have respect.


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## ^guest^

Uhg. What the FLAN is it about this movie 300 that is making me a pariah? I grew up a comic book kid, but I have very specific tastes. The friends I made as a teen were comic book people and have grown up into art students. I love them dearly, but when I opened my big fat mouth and said "I don't like 300, and here's why," they jumped on me like wolves on roast beef. These are bright, intelligent people who are looking past the obvious flaws of the movie purely because it's written by Frank ******. Even my best friend is shaming me for it.

To top it off, my one pal around here didn't come over for the last episode of Rome, I spent the whole day cleaning the basement (because they last time he and his wife came over, it smelled like dog). I know, logically, these are stupid, trivial things, but for some reason I still feel like crying. On the surface they're stupid and trivial, but deep down I feel like my last contacts with humanity outside of DH, DD, and MIL are disintegrating fast. One would think I would be used to this kind of outsidery feeling by now







:


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## BedHead

I have one friend who lives 100 miles away and I see her maybe twice a year. And she's my brothers' ex wife. We aren't overly close - her kids are younger than mine and our parenting styles differ greatly. I am also finding that many people think I'm weird when I talk about making my own bread and soup and composting and growing a big garden. Many people think it's cool too, though, but not cool enough to want to hang with me. My husband says that hanging a clothesline in our back yard will decrease our property value and alienate the neighbours but I DON'T CARE.

I belong to a church but my attendance is spotty and it's very hard to get close to people there in any way past the church social situations.


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## mamaboz

Hello to all!

I too am in the lonely boat. I am prior military, and my DH is still serving. In fact our unit is back in Iraq for a 3rd time! So he's gone, and when the unit deployed it took all my friends with it. I had hoped that some of the spouses I had clicked with would have stayed behind- but everyone returned to 'home base' so to speak. SO my whole social circle is based within phonecalls and emails; I just wish I had some one to hang out with face to face!

UHG


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## Darcy37

Well if any of you live in California in the Antelope Valley I would love to get together with you







also you can go to meetup.com and see if there are any playgroups in your area or mommy groups to join.


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## marieangela

I'm actually part of a meetup group in my area. I've been to one event so far. There are tons to chose from, but I often can't make it due to work or preschool. And sometimes I think "would I rather go to __ and follow ds1's lead/do our own thing or trapse (sp?) around with a group of people I don't know..." Bad, I know. I may try something soon. I do post on the message board, but it's not the same as real life interaction. There are a lot of people in the group and I'd be happy if I could relate to just one person.


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## MommyofPunkiePie

I belong to a local Mommy group, but honestly, it's not the same as *choosing* my friends. I got really close with one Mama, but she used CIO (thankfully it only took a couple days) and does not even want to hear about the big vax controversy. I kind of keep my distance and throw off-the-wall (read: not mainstream) advice out there when someone asks for advice. There is one Mama in the group who is crunchy, and we often support each other when one of us posts a debatable topic. It's a shame that we don't live very close to each other.









I just really miss my *phone* friends! I spent about eight hours on the phone with a friend in New York on Saturday (not straight in a row, broken up over the course of the day), and it was just like she was here with me.







I had such a nice day AND Grawnee helped out with DD for a few hours while I was chatting.


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## maisiedotes

Hi everyone!







I am so glad to find this tribe!

I am a WICKED introvert. I work in a very loud, energetic restaurant and honestly, it is all I can do to deal with people outside of work. I don't even like to talk on the phone. I avoid going out like the plague. It is hard because DH loves to go out. I just get antsy if I am out in a crowd, and I just want to come home. Loud noises irritate me. This, of course, makes it very hard to make friends.

Not to get all deep and stuff, but I was made fun of terribly as a kid. It makes it very hard to trust people. If I do go out with a group of people, all I think about is coming home. Sheesh, I sound like a nut case! I just don't like to go out so people don't usually keep asking me to go out because I always say no. I am perfectly content staying in being a hermit. It suits me.

Anyway, nice to "meet" you all!


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## Cardinal

Well, I am on this thread b/c we're military so we go somewhere and I have no friends and have to make new ones. Then, people end up moving. I made three REALLY close friends over the past 2 years and all three moved within the last 6 months. It is very lonely and isolating and DH is set to deploy again. I have lots of acquaintances and buddies that I do playgroups with, but nothing like the close bond I had with the girls that recently moved. I am ready to go somewhere new and start fresh because I feel that the "resources" of the area are tapped!


----------



## MahBearRI

ahhhh...Here I feel I'll fit in!
Hello lovely ladies...I am pregnant, and moved from the town I loved (Asheville, NC) back to my hometown in Newport, RI. I won't call any of my old highschool buddies - because frankly they are all drug/alcohol-motivated...or just completly have nothing in common with me.

I actually like being alone. I became a truck driver when I was 21...and LOVED every second of it. I am better at being friends with animals and children than people my age. Even friends that I have from down south...I sometimes can't get myself to open my mouth and have a normal conversation with...

It's strange because I know I am an intellegent, funny, and caring woman. People always like me..I just can't bring myself to make plans to hang out or even call someone on the phone. I HATE the phone...

Now I've moved myself away from my friends - and my only friends now are my SO and my dogs. My mom and my step-dad are next door..but I can't even be myself around them...I often can't talk - but I have no idea what's stopping me. I have millions of thughts flying through my head...I just consistantly tell myself no one wants to hear them.

I've joined the La Leche league...and hope I'll be able to meet some like-minded woman there...but, chances are I'll wimp out and not even show up.

I am pg...and I worry I'll rub off on my son and make him an introvert as well....
Whooo...well, it feels good just to type that out...I've never really had a chance to put what I feel to words.

I hope you all have a beautiful day filled with love and laughter...


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## huggingmama

MahBearRI, just wanted to echo the point about hating the phone. This is my problem with maintaining friends, because I will simply never call people up. I just really dislike talking on the phone--though I know it contributes to the loneliness.


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## Nazsmum

MahBearRI I too go to LLL meets. I did not make friends but the support of b/f was priceless. So go!!!!


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## sunanthem

Hello, mama. I just wanted to say hello. I posted to this thread back in '04! I took the advice here and started going to moms groups, park, library, etc. I did make many friends and connections. I recently though have had one of my closests friends I made stop talking to me w/o any reason, and that hurts. I have made a few good friends over these past years, but its hard to find any folks I really connect with. I have to say that mdc has helped me the most in finding local friends w/ the same intrests as me, believe it or not, I've met some local mamas in the strangest ways on here. Also, have any of you tried seeing if there is a local Holistic Moms Network near you? IF you are going to a moms group, at least this one has more like minded mamas to build friendships with.
I hope y'all find some company. I still get lonely, but I do have a pocketful of friends, so I am happy.


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## GMum

This is the tribe for me. I'm forever worrying because I have few friends. Well,I a do have about three close friends but they live in different countries or provinces and I'm not a great telephone person. I moved to Canada from the UK, I do love it here but being so shy doesn't help. I am very much an introvert and from time to time get a bit agoraphobic (anxiety/panicky) and have to really force myself out of the door so that our DD ( 5 months) meets other babies and doesn't end up like me!!! LOL. My DH is also very introverted so between the two of us, chances are DD will be too!

I meet a few new mamas around here but I just don't find it easy to get to know others beyond the "hi, how are you?" stage. If someone does give me their phone number I never pluck up the courage to call...feels awkward and then I feel bad when I see them again and haven't called (or have to avoid them!). Often I just don't feel on the same wave length as most of the other moms here, but I do feel I belong in these forums.

I've not got involved in anything in my community which makes me sad...and although I do take DD to groups and activties ( we are going to a swim class and have done an infant massage class), once they end I'm stuck again. I also live in a tiny little town so there isn't a whole lot of groups to join...or maybe I just haven't looked hard enough.

I so wish I found the whole socializing thing easier!







Although as a lot of people here seem to agree...I do actually like being alone for the most part anyway- I have always been like this.

LOL I much prefer the company of DH, DD and my two dogs than other people....is that weird?

Recently I have been trying to tell myself that it's perfectly okay to be an introvert and spend time alone and just to accept that.But it is hard when I do feel in the rare mood to socialize and find it's too difficult and just completely energy draining for me.

LOL - I even get nervous about posting on here!!!!!


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## Mama2Dane

redngreenmama,
I think you and I are the same breed!








I am definitely not a phone person and the only friend I really have from high school moved to Grand Rapids (a bit over an hour away from me). I'm a "not mama..... yet" and work a lot, so I have a lot of disadvantages in the meeting people field. And when I do venture out and manage to meet someone, I'm not really good with meeting up later to get to know them. It's just something I have no experience with. I'm definitely socially awkward and anxiety ridden over trying to meet others.

And about posting on here, that was a huge challenge for me too.







I joined in August and just started posting a month ago.


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## AlpineMama

I'll join.


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## GMum

Wow! I can't believe that there are others who feel like me...I thought I was the only one!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *maisiedotes* 
Loud noises irritate me. ...If I do go out with a group of people, all I think about is coming home.

LOL this realy tickled me because it is totally me. I stare off into space and I'm thinking about what I'm going to do when I get home and as soon as I step in the door of myhouse I feel sooooooooooooooooo much better! Even my 5month DD has started to smile when we get in and shut the door!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cardinal* 
I am ready to go somewhere new and start fresh because I feel that the "resources" of the area are tapped!

This I can definately relate to....My DH and I have moved 11 times in the past nine years ( incl. provinces and countries), in search of a place where we "fit in"...still not found it yet. We have been here a year and are both thinking about moving again ( and why not because we aren't exactly leaving behind any friends..).

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Andee* 
And about posting on here, that was a huge challenge for me too.







I joined in August and just started posting a month ago.

I'm glad you posted - so good to meet you.

Hermits united!


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## sunkissedmumma67

I'll join too! I'am an extreme introvert! I also lost what friends that i had a few years ago, when i divorced and decided i wanted to get away from the heavy drinking/party crowd, i was more or less friends with those people because thats the kind of person my husband was, and i met most of my friends through him, (his friends wives, girl friends, ect.)







Turns out the heavy partying crowd, sure don't make the best friends, especially when your not really like that! I prefer introverts for friends, i think they are much more thoughtful and loyal! I also don't enjoy talking on the phone much! Where i live in Cali, most women walk around/drive around with their phones glued to their ears,







, i hate hearing their annoying conversations, they don't even try to talk quietly!







I also don't trust people very easy! It's not always easy being an introvert in an extrovert society, they say 75% of people are extroverts! It's not that introverts don't like to be social, they just like to do it less for shorter periods of time! But if i had a really good friend, i wouldn't mind spending alot of time togather! But i won't be fake like so many people, just so i can have alot of friends!







I much prefer real people and i think introverts tend to be more real!


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## sunkissedmumma67

Oh, and bye the way, redngreenmama, what part of BC do you live in? My dp is from Bella Coola, and he wants to move back, but i'am not so sure about that?







Hermits united!, I LUV THAT!







:


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## GMum

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sunkissedmumma67* 
It's not always easy being an introvert in an extrovert society, they say 75% of people are extroverts! It's not that introverts don't like to be social, they just like to do it less for shorter periods of time! But if i had a really good friend, i wouldn't mind spending alot of time togather! But i won't be fake like so many people, just so i can have alot of friends!







I much prefer real people and i think introverts tend to be more real!









I agree with you that introverts tend to be more real. I find fake chitter chatter boring and would rather have fewer 'real' friends or none at all than lots of shallower ones...that kinda sounds bad but I have to be honest. Maybe it's because I'm not good at it, I dunno!

My DH and I have talked about raising our DD to accept that being an introvert ( if she is one) is okay and not to force her to be otherwise which we both were as kids....as is probably why I struggle with being shy/introverted now.

Bella coola is apparently very pretty, although I have never been.It's about 11hrs from me - more on the coast I believe ( I'm more in the interior). It would probably be a very mellow, tranquil place to live and very different form California ( I have been there backpacking when I was in my early 20's).







LOL, I'm looking at it and thinking it would be nice for us to move there!!!!


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## kirstenb

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cardinal* 
Well, I am on this thread b/c we're military so we go somewhere and I have no friends and have to make new ones. Then, people end up moving. I made three REALLY close friends over the past 2 years and all three moved within the last 6 months. It is very lonely and isolating and DH is set to deploy again.

I totally understand. We're military too and I've had a few of my close friends move away in the past year. There are people that we hang out with but it's hard to develop a close relationship with them because we are so different. Being a military family is isolating in many ways.


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## momtokea

I think I found my tribe. Is this thread still active? I belong here.
I'm a "lonely in a crowd" person.


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## BrokeMom

I belong here too.

What happened to me is that I am 21, most of my childhood friends (who were VERY close) are between 1 and 3 years younger than me. I got preggers when I was 17, and married my dh right away. We've now been married 4 years, and have 2 ds's. The youngest of my friends just graduated high school this year. They have no life except living with their parents, have part time jobs so their parents won't kill them, and basically live to hang out with eachother, go to concerts, etc... Now out of all 3 of them, I keep in contact with 1 the most, and she is great, but honestly we don't have much in common anymore. It doesn't help that I now live 1 1/2 hrs away. It just seems like I am the one always calling THEM. And once when I got upset about this I decided to not call them and see how long it took to get a phone call.... 1 1/2 years.







: I decided then that they were no longer my real friends, but good aquaintences. Now all I have is family. I have so many opportunities to make friends... but I just feel like I don't have much in common with anyone I meet except we have kids the same age.







Maybe I just don't put out enough effort? I miss having a best friend so badly. My dh is great but sometimes you just need a girl to talk to who isn't gonna look at you like... are you crazy??????

So I am really happy I found these forums 'cause I feel like I fit in with soooo many of you. I don't feel judged, I don't feel uncomfortable.







:

But I still wish I had a RL best friend.


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## 106657

Hi everyone,

This sounds like the place for me! Three years ago my family moved from FL, where I lived my entire life to NH. I have joined a few groups in my community, but I am the only SAHM. I would love to have friends who keep in contact.


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## gagin37

I feel like I belong in this tribe! I see so much of myself in what others here have described. The anxiety caused by social situations, the difficulty making and keeping friends, enjoying solitude but still longing for friendship, being afraid of 'putting yourself out there' to meet new people, painfully introverted, etc. I'm a one or two friend at a time person most of the time. Throughout my life I always end up getting deserted by my friends, for one reason or another. It's like this inescapable pattern. Right now my current friend from my college days is slowly deserting me because I'm about to have a baby and he doesn't like kids and can't accept the changes it's making in my life. This makes me very sad, but it seems inevitable. I don't know what to do about it and I don't know how I will make a new friend at this point in my life.
I'm new to my community, so beyond my dh, I don't know anyone here. I SAH, which further limits my social scene. I've always been very close to my mom, but now she's 600 miles away and I hardly ever get to see her







I know there are probably groups I could join to meet other folks, but it's so hard! I chicken out every single time. If I had someone to go with me, or if I knew someone else there before hand. But my dh is like me, he doesn't like to go out and be around people much, possibly even less than I do. Then I am faced with the reality that even if I went to a mom's group or something, I probably wouldn't feel like I fit in anyway, and I would be very uncomfortable.

Anyway, enough rambling for today! I am grateful to find folks who understand what it's like


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## Pinkdiva

I definately belong to this tribe! I spend most of my time with the kiddos and my hubby. We moved to where we live in Ventura County and I left all my friends and family behind. Though I don't really miss all the people I left behind, just 2 close friends who I get to see every few months, but my best friend and I(who is one of those 2) talk via IM daily. We moved a year ago and I still haven't made any friends and I have a hard time putting myself out there to make friends. I deal with some anxiety nowadays when on that topic. We are homeschooling this year and I know I need to socialize for the kids sakes, but the anxiety, oh it makes me shiver. Hoping to meet some nice Moms in my area sometime soon.


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## LoganBsMom

Add me in! I don't really have any friends to speak of outside of my family. I have tried a couple mothers groups, but always feel like the odd one out. DS has tried to "fix me up" (lol) with friends wifes etc, but it always just feels forced. I do enjoy being by myself/ with my son and family, so most of the time it doesn't bother me. I definatly have spent a couple of months deciding that it was ok to be an introvert, to be socially akward, its who I am. I don't make friends really at all, and I don't know how. I think a lot of it for me is I don't understand people and the things they do, and they don't understand me, and i'm not really even crunchy! I just prefer to spend my time with my child, and thats what my life revolves aruond. I don't need to go out every friday night, and make every venture out of the house a group activity. That said, DS is a HUGE extrovert, loves people, loves crowds, the whole deal. Everyone is "my new friend". So I am learning to go with it and not worry about being too akward.
Oh, and I HATE, HATE, HATE the telephone, ick!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Hi everyone,

This sounds like the place for me! Three years ago my family moved from FL, where I lived my entire life to NH. I have joined a few groups in my community, but I am the only SAHM. I would love to have friends who keep in contact.

Where in NH are you? As posted above I am not much at socializing, but hey if you are close there is always a chance, lol.


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## RedCoral

Hi I am going to join this club of lonely mamas. I find it super hard to connect with people, I am shy and just don't know what to do to make friends.
I think I am very picky as well, with lifestyle and how people parent.
I have lived here for 1year now and I have not made one friend. I feel crazy most of the time. I feel like I exile myself. I have one close friend and it is rare and nice when we do get together. I feel so good when I am connecting with people. especially for my dd I have always had this vision of raising my child with a community, and I have yet to find that personal community. I am a single mama w/ no contact with dd's dad. so Its pretty much my dd and My mother (who I feel crazy and trapped around) and I.
Well thank you ladys for this group, its nice to know that I am not out there alone.


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## GMum

Hi RedCoral,

I'm glad you posted







. I feel exactly the same on these things. I'm picky too and I keep searching for a place to live that would be 'perfect' for us with totally like-minded people but it doesn't seem to exist - that's why I find myself spending more and more time here!







.


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## BrokeMom

I already came to this tribe a few days ago... I am feeling so lonely lately.







I started going to "MOPS" at my local church last winter... It's great and I met a lot of ladies who live near me (some within 1 minute walking distance!) but they just don't seem like people I have a lot in common with. I have had so many opportunities to go hang out with them...but I feel like any friendship I try to build is going to be forced and never turn into more than a friendly aquaintence. They're all so mainstream. And I don't even dislike most mainstream moms. But it seems like as soon as they find out I do things different than them, they stop being friendly. Personally I think it's because they believe if I do it different, I must look upon them badly for doing it differently. And I don't! But that must be their personal experience and how they do things to expect that reaction. Plus, they are almost all WOHMs and I am SAHM. They seem so busy and I want a friend who is available when I am. But they're all at work during the day (my more available time), and free in the evening, which is usually my more family-oriented time. I should stop blabbing.......... I'm just so tired of not having someone to talk to!







:


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## sunanthem

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redngreenmama* 
Hi RedCoral,

I'm glad you posted







. I feel exactly the same on these things. I'm picky too and I keep searching for a place to live that would be 'perfect' for us with totally like-minded people but it doesn't seem to exist - that's why I find myself spending more and more time here!







.

I know what you are saying, I dont seem to fit in anywhere and I would love some community and support for myself and my kids, but I think too, more and more, that its kind of hard to be friends w/ only like minded people. Everyone does things a little differently, and if we or others set our limits too small, we will miss out on friendship with people who are different then ourselves or vice versa, unless we can truly respect and appreciate the differences.
However, it is good to have friends with the similiar beliefs and interests, so I think we have to follow our passions to find friends who are into the same things we are.
I'm lonely right now b/c I've just lost a large group of friends for myself and my kids, and I thought they were pretty like-minded, however I found out they are pretty judgemental, and have really made me doubt myself. So not only am I lonely, but sad and confused as well. Not a good feeling.

I'm trying to change my feelings into valuing this time with myself to focus on my self, my beliefs and passions and exploring them, and connecting with my family and those who do truly love and appreciate me. And I am letting go of my bitter feelings as best I can.

And I still have some good friends, and I cherish them







:.


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## simplespirit

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sunanthem* 
I know what you are saying, I dont seem to fit in anywhere...

I feel you... I netflixed the first season of "30 Days" and I watched the Dancing Rabbit episode twice. I know my people are 'out there' but for the time being, I'm here in Soccer Mom Land.


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## 106657

Hi LoganBsMom, I am in Newbury, by Lake Sunapee. Socializing for me is when I go to Market Basket! That gets me out of the house once a week.


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## LoganBsMom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Hi LoganBsMom, I am in Newbury, by Lake Sunapee. Socializing for me is when I go to Market Basket! That gets me out of the house once a week.

Very pretty area, about an hour and a half from me, I am south. You should check out the NH tribal area, there are a lot of moms in Vermont, which I think might be closer to you. If you ever head south, give me a holler, I don't do much, lol.


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## gagin37

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Socializing for me is when I go to Market Basket! That gets me out of the house once a week.

I find myself doing that very thing! My social time consists of my trips to the grocery and the farmer's market! On weeks that I have prenatal appointments things really get exciting with a trip to the OB! Recently my dh has been wanting to do the grocery shopping for me, to save me a trip. I got all upset because lots of weeks that's the only time I get around other people.


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## APBTlover

Hi.







If there's any tribe I belong in, it's this one.

The only friends I have (besides DH and family) are friends from Jr high and high school. Somehow we manage to be friends despite our huge differences, but distance keeps us from actually being companions, YK?

I am terrible at making friends. I never know how to hit the right note, between "not interested in speaking to you again" and "obsessed with you." I seem to make one or the other impression on most people, including the (very few) I would really like to befriend. Then, if we see each other again, I repeatedly fail to hit the line between completely silent/uptight and loquacious/loud. I am just socially inept at all but the most superficial interactions, it seems.







Add to that, as a PP said, I am generally too picky about lifestyle, etc, for most anyone around here. Just wait till we have children...







We are also not big on drinking/partying, so that strikes us from a lot of people's interest.

Now that the few friends we have as a couple have started to put us off (mostly taking advantage and being all-out, honest-to-goodness a-holes), DH and I have basically declared ourselves official loners. Oh, well.


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## 106657

It's funny, sometimes I feel like I have to get out, I will find myself making a drive to the grocery store for two or three things just to see people. But today there is a day long event in my community, tons of people and activities, and I am hating the thought of getting out there. I want to be home on this day. I think I am my own worst enemy.


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## gagin37

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
It's funny, sometimes I feel like I have to get out, I will find myself making a drive to the grocery store for two or three things just to see people. But today there is a day long event in my community, tons of people and activities, and I am hating the thought of getting out there. I want to be home on this day. I think I am my own worst enemy.

I know that feeling too! I hate being in a crowd, especially of strangers, it gives me so much anxiety. I feel like I sabotage myself!


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## 106657

I am not really sure if it is anxiety, or I just have no/lacking social skills?


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## simplespirit

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
I am not really sure if it is anxiety, or I just have no/lacking social skills?

For me, I don't feel it's as much 'anxiety' as it is energies. I am an empath and I pick up on those around me... ie a hectic day at the big grocery store... in line for twenty minutes with snappy parents and unhappy children asking for candy... I just get unnerved. But when I carry my tote bag into the heath food market, people are smiling and nodding to one another as they pass and I totally feel at ease.

The last time I was at our local heath/organic market, I found myself wishing they had a coffee area so I could just sit, sip and enjoy thoe positive energies! I feel like this when I am in a nice little used book shop, library, wicca/new age store... I feel like I am with my people.

I get very tense when I am around other parents at school, like during conferences or even worse; sports. The parents on my ds's football team are so high-strung and serious about a game and even while I knit; I feel the competive energy pulse through me.

Does this make sense to anyone else?


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## gagin37

Quote:


Originally Posted by *simplespirit* 
For me, I don't feel it's as much 'anxiety' as it is energies. I am an empath and I pick up on those around me... ie a hectic day at the big grocery store... in line for twenty minutes with snappy parents and unhappy children asking for candy... I just get unnerved. But when I carry my tote bag into the heath food market, people are smiling and nodding to one another as they pass and I totally feel at ease.

The last time I was at our local heath/organic market, I found myself wishing they had a coffee area so I could just sit, sip and enjoy thoe positive energies! I feel like this when I am in a nice little used book shop, library, wicca/new age store... I feel like I am with my people.

I get very tense when I am around other parents at school, like during conferences or even worse; sports. The parents on my ds's football team are so high-strung and serious about a game and even while I knit; I feel the competive energy pulse through me.

Does this make sense to anyone else?

I think that makes a lot of sense! The grocery v.s. the farmer's market is the same for me. I feel so much more relaxed when I go to our local farmer's market. Everyone there is down to earth and friendly. The grocery is much more tense and chaotic, particularly on the weekends. I can't go at all on Sundays.
I am very ill at ease at sporting events also. I went to one or two while in college, because my roommate at the time wanted to go, and I was very uncomfortable- all the yelling, all the tension in the air and moving through the crowd. It wasn't something I could be part of.


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## mandib50

just stopping in to say hello to the other lonely mama's. i have made friends in the past, never easily, but they have all moved away so that sucks. i haven't had a close friend where i live now for hmmmm 8 years so i'm pretty lonely. i go back and forth between just trying to find a way to deal without having friends to making an effort to meet people. and when i do meet people and find someone i think i'd like it never seems to pan out







not sure what the reason is, i don't like to think it's me exactly









yet ... i do get out, i have a ton of casual acquaintances, which almost makes it worse because when i see how they all connect it makes me feel more lonely. i never get invited anywhere to do anything with anybody ... alas woe is me









to make it even worse i just lost a good friend (long story) but in the end i realized she really didn't care about me the way i thought she did. so that has me somewhat jaded about the whole process because i already don't open up easily to many people.


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## 106657

Oh my gosh, this makes total sense to me. I could spend the entire day at a book store. I wish there were a new age/ wicca store around here, but my town is small. I have never enjoyed sporting events. I feel like it's just a game, and I get the strangest looks from parents when I cheer for both teams. Way too into competition.


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## MrsMike

.


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## 106657

ok mamas, I have been out there, trying to connect, I just feel like I never fit. Always on the outside looking in. The third wheel. Maybe it's just my mood the last couple of days. Maybe I am missing my friends in my home state. I just feel like I am never going to make another connection like I had with my friend Diane. I guess I am just feeling sorry for myself today? I just miss friendship.


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## Mommoo

Hi! I definitely relate to this tribe. I also just joined the MDC Mama's friendship tribe. I'm just discovering the whole tribe aspect of MDC and loving it! Here is what I posted there.
I'm definitely a lonely mama looking for a tribe of friends. May I join you?
I've only been posting and lurking around MDC for a couple of months, and I'm still just learning how everything flows.
My little family of three just moved to Olympia, WA from Ottawa, ON (Canada). My DP went from working at home to working out of the house 50-60 hrs a week. I'm lonely!
I have to admit that I'm a bit socially awkward and shy so I have a hard time making friends. But I love the sense of sisterhood, or parenthood around MDC.
I'm happy to be here!


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## mamamia10

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
ok mamas, I have been out there, trying to connect, I just feel like I never fit. Always on the outside looking in. The third wheel. Maybe it's just my mood the last couple of days. Maybe I am missing my friends in my home state. I just feel like I am never going to make another connection like I had with my friend Diane. I guess I am just feeling sorry for myself today? I just miss friendship.

I'm with you on this one...it just always feels like I make the plans and or get stood up


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## pcasylum

I can totally relate to this tribe. I've always been shy, and since I started having kids (8 1/2 yrs ago) it's amazing how many of my "friends" just slowly faded away. I have 1 friend left from the "Before Time" but that's an issue too: we were once the best of friends but her lifestyle and mine have become polar opposites. Not that I care if people are different, but it's so hard to be around someone who literally makes choices that are harming her children on a daily basis. So that leaves me ... where?

I was going to a mom's group for awhile, and I loved it. I felt like I had *finally* found a place where I fit in. It was at the birthing center where I had my last child, and where I'm having this one. The atmosphere, the people, everything about that place felt like home. But now my youngest is 2 and a little too wild to bring, and my sister is no longer available to watch my kids, so I basically go once in a blue moon now. Last time I went I noticed that alot of the moms did things together and I felt like the odd man out. They all have 1 child, so of course me with my 3 kids (soon to be 4) is probably an odd fit. I did make a good friend there last year, that is until she made a play for my husband. SIGH Apparently the entire friendship was faked by her; it never dawned on me that she didn't aggressively pursue a friendship with me until the day she saw my dh at the mom's group when he dropped me off. Oh well.

So that leaves me wondering what the heck to do. It's so hard to make friends! And the few people I would love to develop a friendship with I haven't been able to navigate the whole "Let's be friends!" thing. LOL! I met some people down the road a week ago; they're very nice but I can already tell that we'd never be more than friendly aquaintances. I miss the whole Best Friends Forever thing. LOL!!!

I'm in NH too!!


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## crow lady

I really appreciate people's stories from this tribe. I had some friends that I had taken time to develop before I became pregnant (they are mothers with older children), and then when I had my child I was shocked to see that they took it personally that I wasn't available for them..... I had hoped that they might be friends that could nurture and encourage me as a new mother, since they were farther ahead of me on the "parenting" road. I feel like I'm speaking Greek to them, and one of my friends even said that she feels like I've abandoned her. Ironically, a long distant friend and I (who has a different parenting style than I) have become closer since my son was born... Right now, she is about it besides my husband (for support and understanding). I feel like I am starting all over again in building a support network. My husband and I don't have any supportive family either. Relationships are hard enough and take time to build, and then being a new parent complicates the mix! I am looking at this period as a "change in season", and trusting that I will connect to people as long as I keep reaching out.....although that is challenging as I am an introvert!! (My life is full of Irony.....maybe I should have logged in as Irony Woman!)


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## 106657

I am still looking for a place to fit in.. Still looking for friends who keep in contact!!


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## segata

Yep,I definitely belong here.I have 1 friend that I keep in contact with regularly..that's it.


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## Kay11

Can I join too? Sometimes I feel like I try so hard, but I'm a foreigner in the country I'm living and I think it matters more than people say it does yk? I feel so sad and desperate when I say I'm lonely and have no friends, and people tend to come rushing for a short while if I do, but no-one sticks around. Maybe because I come across as sad and desperate, I don't know.

Anyway, think I fit in well here. All the people saying they're the ones making plans and getting stood up - yup, that's me too. At least I know that I'm lonely but not alone or unique in this.


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## 106657

Hello all. I wish I had even one friend that I kept in regular contact with. I guess there is something about me that people don't like on a daily/every other day bases. I don't seem to fit in anywhere.


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## 106657

I am in the Lake Sunapee Region of New Hampshire.


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## Mommoo

Hmmm, why do you think that there's something about you that people don't like redveg? I've seen some of your interactions here on MDC and you seem to have a lovely personality.


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## kayleesmom

o this tribe is for me. I have no IRL friends. Well wait a second i should say i have 1. That is my husband he is my best friend. I am a very shy person always have been and feel awkward around other people. and now that i am pregnant with number 3.and have a 4 yr old and 15 month old it is even harder cause i feel like people look at me like a crazy for having 2 kids and 1 on the way. I have a hard time figuring out what to talk about to people and also have a hard hard time trusting people. I am in Southern Nh too. and so yep I fit in here







Hello all.


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## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mommoo* 
Hmmm, why do you think that there's something about you that people don't like redveg? I've seen some of your interactions here on MDC and you seem to have a lovely personality.

Wow, thanks so much.

I don't know what it is, sometimes I just get this feeling that people don't like me. By the way they react/don't react. I feel I put myself out there, but it's like people already have their groups and I am always the third wheel. Then sometimes I am just ignored. I wish it was something I was just imagining, but the fact that I am alone every day until my children come home is sort of proof. For the most part I just do my thing, hang out with my pets, but every once in a while it just really weighs me down..


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## momof421

I fit in here so well. I find it hard to make friends who won't judge me for my disability. some of my family members come down hard on me for things that normal people can do. I have one friend.


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## BaBaBa

Hello everybody









I haven't had a chance to read all the posts because DH just came home.

Can I join too?


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## NinaBruja

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Wow, thanks so much.

I don't know what it is, sometimes I just get this feeling that people don't like me. By the way they react/don't react. I feel I put myself out there, but it's like people already have their groups and I am always the third wheel. Then sometimes I am just ignored. I wish it was something I was just imagining, but the fact that I am alone every day until my children come home is sort of proof. For the most part I just do my thing, hang out with my pets, but every once in a while it just really weighs me down..

ah i could have written that!
can i join?


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## veronicalynne

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Wow, thanks so much.

I don't know what it is, sometimes I just get this feeling that people don't like me. By the way they react/don't react. I feel I put myself out there, but it's like people already have their groups and I am always the third wheel. Then sometimes I am just ignored. I wish it was something I was just imagining, but the fact that I am alone every day until my children come home is sort of proof. For the most part I just do my thing, hang out with my pets, but every once in a while it just really weighs me down..


I could have written that post. I have one friend and we are just friends because we are both alone and mothers....but other than that there is noone. Sometimes I wonder if I am just doing something socially wrong kwim? Also, I converted to islam in 1999 so I dont fit in with Canadians and i also dont fit in with muslims....I feel soo alone alot of the time and it really gets me down. Can i join?


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## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *poxybat* 
ah i could have written that!
can i join?











Quote:


Originally Posted by *veronicalynne* 
I could have written that post. I have one friend and we are just friends because we are both alone and mothers....but other than that there is noone. Sometimes I wonder if I am just doing something socially wrong kwim? Also, I converted to islam in 1999 so I dont fit in with Canadians and i also dont fit in with muslims....I feel soo alone alot of the time and it really gets me down. Can i join?











Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Hello everybody









I haven't had a chance to read all the posts because DH just came home.

Can I join too?



















Quote:


Originally Posted by *momof421* 
I fit in here so well. I find it hard to make friends who won't judge me for my disability. some of my family members come down hard on me for things that normal people can do. I have one friend.











Welcome everyone. I am glad to have people to chat with.


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## AlpineMama

OK, this is something that has been brought to my attention through a TAO thread. The conversation was regarding who to put down for emergency contacts, and some people felt that it was inappropriate to put down someone you barely know or are just acquaintances with, i.e. a neighbor. This struck me as, well, this person must have a lot of friends and family they can call on for help! For me I would be thrilled if I even knew a neighbor well enough to be an emergency contact. I guess I'm that far removed from "normal" people who actually HAVE friends and family to do favors and such for them.

And whenever you want to vent (online) about a high-needs baby, or a special needs baby, or whatever, people are ALWAYS saying, "get as much help as you can from friends and family - take them up on their offers to babysit!" Uh, yeah. Again, no friends or family. But people pretty much get stuck after that suggestion.

And if you SAY you have no friends/family? Then it's this awkward little pause, like, "what's wrong with you that no one likes you?" Or maybe I'm just reading too much into it. Baggage, much?









I dunno, sorry to be a downer, I just was feeling a bit down about this whole thing for a minute and thought some of you might understand.

P.S. - if you have no family nearby, who DO you put down as an emergency contact?? Or does everyone in this thread have at least family around?


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## GooeyRN

Joining in sadly... I have few IRL friends.


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## 106657

For an emergency contact I put down myself and DH.. I am a sahm, so I am always here to get the phone. I don't have any neighbors who either stay home or who want to be friendly. When I first moved in people did stop by to say hello, but everyone in the neighborhood had lived here for some time, and their was groups of friends who didn't like other groups, talk about others, just basic high school stuff. The sad part, not one of these groups wants to be friends with me.!!


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## momof421

welcome to everyone.


----------



## Yamilla

I want to join the club too.

We just moved to a new town and I can't say I've met one single person since we've moved. I do have one friend that lives here but she's single/no kids so we don't see each other too much.

Dh is my bf thank goodness -- we laughed about how we were in our old city for 6 years and though ds was sad about moving away from his buddies dh and I had not one person to say good-bye too.

Lol...I had the same problem with the school ER card. TG we're not that far from my family -- but hopefully if there's any problem they can catch dh or I at work.

I swear if it weren't from the net I'd have no social life.







:


----------



## Mommoo

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Wow, thanks so much.

I don't know what it is, sometimes I just get this feeling that people don't like me. By the way they react/don't react. I feel I put myself out there, but it's like people already have their groups and I am always the third wheel. Then sometimes I am just ignored. I wish it was something I was just imagining, but the fact that I am alone every day until my children come home is sort of proof. For the most part I just do my thing, hang out with my pets, but every once in a while it just really weighs me down..

I can relate for sure. I don't really put myself out there though. But that's because when I do I feel like people are looking at me strangely. I'm a bit socially awkward. I wish we could get together and play! I'm alone all day with DS too! I crave adult conversation!







Thank goodness for MDC.


----------



## AlpineMama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
I don't know what it is, sometimes I just get this feeling that people don't like me. By the way they react/don't react. I feel I put myself out there, but it's like people already have their groups and I am always the third wheel. Then sometimes I am just ignored. I wish it was something I was just imagining, but the fact that I am alone every day until my children come home is sort of proof. For the most part I just do my thing, hang out with my pets, but every once in a while it just really weighs me down..


Uh... yeah. Me too.


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## 106657

Morning. Mommoo, could we live any farther apart?? At least we can chat on MDC. Though in person would be fantastic.


----------



## mommy2k&k

Can I join also??I seemed to have lost all my friends afte rmy divorce 2 years ago. I go to work and come home. My girls are my best friends. I would love to be able to talk with some moms here.


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommy2k&k* 
Can I join also??I seemed to have lost all my friends afte rmy divorce 2 years ago. I go to work and come home. My girls are my best friends. I would love to be able to talk with some moms here.

Of course! There is always room for more friends to chat with. Glad you're here!


----------



## sunkissedmumma67

Hi There, I haven't been on this thread in a while. Anyone on here from Central Cali? Still no friends







but honestly i haven't tryed very hard.


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## Mommoo

My heart is closer to NH though redveg! I'm new to the west coast. I grew up in Nova Scotia and and New Brunswick, and lived the past 10 yrs in Ottawa, ON.

Hi mommy2k&k!


----------



## thisiswhatwedo

coming in a bit late on this conversation. I am going to go back and read through the rest of the posts but I just want to say thanks for starting this thread. I have been a single mom for a few years and am incredibly isolated. I have one friend that I talk to regularly but we aren't a great fit in every way. I lost a lot of friends due to my ex and now that we have him out and are "healing" I just feel very unattractive on many levels. I try to start groups, people come and drop out. I hand out my number or email to people I get to know, never any call backs. I realize they are all very busy and most of them have husbands and extended families but gee-wiz, this is the toughest part of my life. I've been home all summer with my kids and I've gone days with out talking to an other adult. It gets so bad that I start chatting about my life to baristas and post office employees.
I journal and post here and email people I know but when and how will I ever have people to stop by and have dinner or call and ask to go do stuff again? Will I end up a lonely old lady? Will I start hoarding cats????


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mommoo* 
My heart is closer to NH though redveg! I'm new to the west coast. I grew up in Nova Scotia and and New Brunswick, and lived the past 10 yrs in Ottawa, ON.

Hi mommy2k&k!









My DH's grandfather is from Nova Scotia, I hear it is beautiful! Maybe one day I will get to check it out.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thisiswhatwedo* 
coming in a bit late on this conversation. I am going to go back and read through the rest of the posts but I just want to say thanks for starting this thread. I have been a single mom for a few years and am incredibly isolated. I have one friend that I talk to regularly but we aren't a great fit in every way. I lost a lot of friends due to my ex and now that we have him out and are "healing" I just feel very unattractive on many levels. I try to start groups, people come and drop out. I hand out my number or email to people I get to know, never any call backs. I realize they are all very busy and most of them have husbands and extended families but gee-wiz, this is the toughest part of my life. I've been home all summer with my kids and I've gone days with out talking to an other adult. It gets so bad that I start chatting about my life to baristas and post office employees.
I journal and post here and email people I know but when and how will I ever have people to stop by and have dinner or call and ask to go do stuff again? Will I end up a lonely old lady? Will I start hoarding cats????
















I hear ya. Sometimes when I get someone to chat with, I most likely chase them away, because it's been so long since I had a conversation with a living person I get verbal diarrhea (not sure of spelling), they must think I am a freak!!


----------



## bmcneal

I have one "new" friend... I met her here on MDC... We will meet later on this week. If it works out (and I don't see why it wouldn't) I will have... 1 friend. Mothering mamas have become my "adult connections" as DH works 3rds, and as soon as he gets home, I have to leave for school, and when I get home, we eat then he has to go to bed, leaving me and DD until around 8.30/9.00 when I try to get her to bed, so I can study. I study until DH gets home (sometimes cat nap sometime around midnight.) then leave for school, and over and over... So we don't really get to "connect" as much right now.


----------



## mommy2k&k

Thanks for the welcome!
I have tried to talk to co-workers of mine but when i say something that they dont agree on like cloth diapers they think i am nuts. So I don't try talking to them about anything but work. I have tried but no friends yet.


----------



## Mommoo

This thread is helping me put things in perspective. I have been feeling a little sorry for myself for being lonely with no friends, and because DP works so much. But, not to make anyone feel worse about their situation, I think we get more time together than many of you mamas.








It's a big adjustment from what my life was like a few months ago though.
It's hard to feel like you're doing it alone all of the time, or even TO be doing it alone all of the time!


----------



## BaBaBa

OK. I didn't get to properly introduce myself in my last post but I belong here too.
DH and I originally moved out here PT but when DD was born I stayed in the country FT. It's too far to commute so he's stays in the city when he's working. He's been really busy this year so he's only been home on the weekends for the most part.
It's really hard to meet people in the country especially when a LO keeps you so busy.
Also, typically my friends have always been male and that doesn't really work once you're married.
I'm finding that I need to learn how to have female friends.
Can anyone relate to that?


----------



## Mommoo

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Also, typically my friends have always been male and that doesn't really work once you're married.
I'm finding that I need to learn how to have female friends.
Can anyone relate to that?

I relate. I've always had many male friends and one or two close females. The ladies were my "best friends" but I find it easier to talk to men than women. I used to blame the "cattiness" of the women that I knew, but now I'm wondering if it just has more to do with our society, how women are raised in competition with each other and to seek approval from men.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mommoo* 
I used to blame the "cattiness" of the women that I knew, but now I'm wondering if it just has more to do with our society, how women are raised in competition with each other and to seek approval from men.

hmmm...
that's an interesting thought. I'm going to be considering that all day I think..


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bmcneal* 
I have one "new" friend... I met her here on MDC... We will meet later on this week. If it works out (and I don't see why it wouldn't) I will have... 1 friend. Mothering mamas have become my "adult connections" as DH works 3rds, and as soon as he gets home, I have to leave for school, and when I get home, we eat then he has to go to bed, leaving me and DD until around 8.30/9.00 when I try to get her to bed, so I can study. I study until DH gets home (sometimes cat nap sometime around midnight.) then leave for school, and over and over... So we don't really get to "connect" as much right now.









Congrats on the new friend. I am sure things will go great!


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommy2k&k* 
Thanks for the welcome!
I have tried to talk to co-workers of mine but when i say something that they dont agree on like cloth diapers they think i am nuts. So I don't try talking to them about anything but work. I have tried but no friends yet.
















When I used to work, a million years ago, I had "work friends" too. Funny how the relationship never leaves the work place. Now that I am involved in some community groups I find I am in the same situation. People I just get to know a bit below the surface, but never beyond our group activities.


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
OK. I didn't get to properly introduce myself in my last post but I belong here too.
DH and I originally moved out here PT but when DD was born I stayed in the country FT. It's too far to commute so he's stays in the city when he's working. He's been really busy this year so he's only been home on the weekends for the most part.
It's really hard to meet people in the country especially when a LO keeps you so busy.
Also, typically my friends have always been male and that doesn't really work once you're married.
I'm finding that I need to learn how to have female friends.
Can anyone relate to that?

I love the country. I live in the sticks too. It can be lonely! I also can relate to the male vs female friends. Sometimes I think when you are around friends of the same sex there can be this need to keep up, whether this is a intentional or not?? I don't feel the need, I don't mind being the wreck of a friend.


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## pcasylum

We live on 5 acres in a fairly rural area, and honestly as beautiful as it is, I'd give anything to live in Concord. (Fairly small city for those of you not in NH, lol) Maybe it's because I grew up in a town very similar to Concord in MA, but I feel creeped out walking down these rural roads in the woods waiting for a wild animal to jump out at me. LOL!! But packing the kids up to walk around downtown Concord? Heaven. (Yes, I know, I'm weird, LOL!)

I completely agree about friendships at group activities or work! The moms I've gotten to know at Girl Scouts or other activities I've taken the kids to are simply acquaintances; nothing goes any deeper than that. It's sad, really. I've seen some examples of the "female cattiness" as well; I've never even understood that mentality. Why be catty? lol I would love a good support network of women in my life, and I've never been the catty type. Again, maybe I'm just weird? Oh well.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mommoo* 
I relate. I've always had many male friends and one or two close females. The ladies were my "best friends" but I find it easier to talk to men than women. I used to blame the "cattiness" of the women that I knew, but now I'm wondering if it just has more to do with our society, how women are raised in competition with each other and to seek approval from men.

I've had a chance to think about your post and I disagree.

My experience has been the opposite. I don't see women being raised in competition, seeking male approval. I have found that to be social successfully with females you must meet their approval (ie., your appearance, views, interests etc.). I think that's the 'cattiness' you referred to.
Apart from just sharing more common interests with males (not too many teenage girls interested in Monty Python or the Beatles in the 80's) I have continued to find them more accepting. You don't have to dress a certain way, they are more likely to 'agree to disagree' etc.

That's just been my experience. Thank you for giving me something to ponder as I went about my business this morning


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
I don't feel the need, I don't mind being the wreck of a friend.









:

(That's is if you meant to be funny). It's sometimes hard to tell with the written word.

Otherwise,







I would love to be your friend.


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 







:

(That's is if you meant to be funny). It's sometimes hard to tell with the written word.

Otherwise,







I would love to be your friend.

I meant it to be funny. Thanks for worrying about my feelings, and wanting to be my friend. That makes us friends as far as I am concerned.


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Baby_Makes_5* 
We live on 5 acres in a fairly rural area, and honestly as beautiful as it is, I'd give anything to live in Concord. (Fairly small city for those of you not in NH, lol) Maybe it's because I grew up in a town very similar to Concord in MA, but I feel creeped out walking down these rural roads in the woods waiting for a wild animal to jump out at me. LOL!! But packing the kids up to walk around downtown Concord? Heaven. (Yes, I know, I'm weird, LOL!)

I completely agree about friendships at group activities or work! The moms I've gotten to know at Girl Scouts or other activities I've taken the kids to are simply acquaintances; nothing goes any deeper than that. It's sad, really. I've seen some examples of the "female cattiness" as well; I've never even understood that mentality. Why be catty? lol I would love a good support network of women in my life, and I've never been the catty type. Again, maybe I'm just weird? Oh well.


I think if you live close enough to drive to the city, it's the best of both worlds. IMO. I live about 40 minutes highway driving away from Concord, so if I wanted to go into the city it would be no big deal. I love the country life though. It is lonely, but my kids can run around and I don't have too many worries. I just don't have any friends because everything is a drive!


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## pcasylum

We live about 35-40 minutes from Concord too! I go 202 to 89 to 93 - I might even live not that far from you.







: Or my fave route in - 202 all the way - much nicer drive! But the gas for our Durango makes the trip hard to make budget-wise, at least as often as I'd like (many times a week! LOL!!)

That's one of my main issues - the drive. When I was going to the mom's group in Concord the distance was such an issue in making or maintaining friendships. Oh well.


----------



## 106657

I go 103 to 114 to 202 to 89. Sounds like a lot, but it's not bad. Before I moved here I lived in Florida. We lived in the sticks there too, so I am used to all the driving. It's not the distance that gets me it's the fuel cost!


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
I think if you live close enough to drive to the city, it's the best of both worlds.










Toronto is 2 hours away and even though I have a place to stay there it's too far to drive with a toddler who doesn't deal well with long rides. Plus, I worry about leaving the horses unwatched for more than 24 hours.
I really miss the shopping in Toronto ( 3rd anniversary is coming up and a cow's the only leather gift I could buy out here that he'd appreciate). I do most of my shopping online now.
Ironically the produce is much better in the city than what's available out here.
I miss the restaurants. They're not too veg friendly in beef country! Although there is an Indian restaurant about 45 minutes away.
I miss the ethnic diversity! I'm really bored with white people. I am white BTW but the world is so much more interesting when you can share with other ethnicities.
I miss the culture and activities like the museums and galleries.
We are planning a trip to the zoo this fall if we can work it into DH's schedule.
Would I go back to living FT in the city? You'd have to drag me kicking and screaming. I just would like to visit every once and a while...


----------



## veronicalynne

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 








Toronto is 2 hours away and even though I have a place to stay there it's too far to drive with a toddler who doesn't deal well with long rides. Plus, I worry about leaving the horses unwatched for more than 24 hours.
I really miss the shopping in Toronto ( 3rd anniversary is coming up and a cow's the only leather gift I could buy out here that he'd appreciate). I do most of my shopping online now.
Ironically the produce is much better in the city than what's available out here.
I miss the restaurants. They're not too veg friendly in beef country! Although there is an Indian restaurant about 45 minutes away.
I miss the ethnic diversity! I'm really bored with white people. I am white BTW but the world is so much more interesting when you can share with other ethnicities.
I miss the culture and activities like the museums and galleries.
We are planning a trip to the zoo this fall if we can work it into DH's schedule.
Would I go back to living FT in the city? You'd have to drag me kicking and screaming. I just would like to visit every once and a while...

Jumping in here but am shackled to the couch by a boob lovin' little man...........1 month old







..........I am 3 days away from Toronto where i grew up (Scarberia







).......I miss T.O soooo much. I miss everything you said.


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 








Toronto is 2 hours away and even though I have a place to stay there it's too far to drive with a toddler who doesn't deal well with long rides. Plus, I worry about leaving the horses unwatched for more than 24 hours.
I really miss the shopping in Toronto ( 3rd anniversary is coming up and a cow's the only leather gift I could buy out here that he'd appreciate). I do most of my shopping online now.
Ironically the produce is much better in the city than what's available out here.
I miss the restaurants. They're not too veg friendly in beef country! Although there is an Indian restaurant about 45 minutes away.
I miss the ethnic diversity! I'm really bored with white people. I am white BTW but the world is so much more interesting when you can share with other ethnicities.
I miss the culture and activities like the museums and galleries.
We are planning a trip to the zoo this fall if we can work it into DH's schedule.
Would I go back to living FT in the city? You'd have to drag me kicking and screaming. I just would like to visit every once and a while...

I hear ya. Nothing veg friendly here. I lived in Florida until 3 years ago. I also miss the culture, diversity. Heck, because I have freckles, I'm the only person with some color around here.


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## crazyeight

huh i never noticed this thread! well i certainly belong here. i moved here almost 4 yrs ago and made one VERY good friend within a few months. not intentional we just clicked. she moved away about 2.5 years ago or something and i have been LOOKING for a good friend since! i have tried. i go to playgroup with other moms but nothing has ever progressed further and i don't seem to connect with them.

i have suddenly met one of my neighbors who is already a great friend....again out of the blue. took long enough!


----------



## recycledbook

im friendless i used to have a few then i moved 45 mins away and only 2 stay in touch with me however i never see them







its a bit lonley at times and now my husband wants to join the air force


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *recycledbook* 







im friendless i used to have a few then i moved 45 mins away and only 2 stay in touch with me however i never see them







its a bit lonley at times and now my husband wants to join the air force









45 minutes. Maybe all your friends and you could take turns going to visit? I wouldn't want to make that drive everyday, but I could do it at least once a week, maybe they will too?


----------



## mommy2k&k

Welcome dhinderliteri and recycledbook.

I wish we lived out in the country. I don't like the city at all. I would love to be able to sit on my front porch and not see any houses or cars for miles around. I live right on a main road so there is always noises from the cars on the highway. What I wouln't give to only be able to here the crickets, birds, and chickens in the morning. That would be just grand with me.


----------



## veronicalynne

I am in Edmonton and have only made 1 friend (we r in the same boat) which is about to change since I am going to move soon. I had friends in Toronto but not here







My husbands friends were all arabic and I didnt fit in at all.....I always wondered what was wrong with me since it always looked like I was the only one with this problem but from this thread it is common.....







to everyone


----------



## 106657

Morning mamas. How was everyone's weekend??


----------



## BaBaBa

VL: That sounds like a huge adjustment to make! When did you leave TO? How are those Alberta winters? Tell me about your fav Toronto memories. I loved eating at Juice for Life, Lahore Tikka Hut, Udupi Palace and Terroni's. And oddly CityTV just seems so TO to me.









Welcome dhinderliter & recycledbook

I had quite a good weekend. DH took DD out on some errand which left me alone for a few hours.







I was on cloud 9. I've gotta make that a regular thing. It's amazing the difference even a short break can give you. On Sunday I instituted 'Family Time'. I realized that we seldom spend quality. relaxed time as a family. We're always rushing trying to get things done. So, after breakfast and in spite of the rain we all went on a walk back to the bush. I'm intending it to be a regular thing. DH went back to the city last night and that leaves me and DD alone all week.

This morning, things aren't so well. All the heavy rain has flooded the our lane and it's the only way out of here. I guess I'm not going anywhere. But I'm kinda running out of food and I didn't want to touch the stuff in the freezer. I don't know quite what to do?


----------



## kis95

I hope it's okay if I just rudely jump in here? I'm a bit of a lurker around these boards, but what I've seen, I really like.

At the moment, I'm a SAHM to three wee-ones: Emily (4), Hunter (3) and Ethan (19 months). DH is a graphic designer, and we recently bought our first home in Pickering (Ontario, Canada). Speaking of, *VeronicaLynne*, I'm from Scarberia too! Small world. Anyway, again, my apologies for just butting in. I'm looking forward to getting to know everyone! Is it alright if I join this Tribe? Aside from DH and my mother, I really have no one else to talk to.


----------



## BaBaBa

ks95

I'm pretty new to this thread too.

I think you can just jump in anytime


----------



## eden/averymum

I'll join in!

I have only a few friends that aren't in my computer. I lost contact with alot of people during the first two years with twins.

I'm in Canada as well (bababa, I'm in downtown Toronto)

Mostly I'm lonely because my marriage is in such a disconnected sad state.


----------



## BaBaBa

: eden/averymum

Where downtown are you? I used to live/still have a place near the St. Lawrence Market.


----------



## eden/averymum

little italy


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eden/averymum* 
little italy

That's a cool neighbourhood. DH is way more familiar with it than me. When we were dating he had all his 'sausage parties' at the Black Cat. I had their peanut butter gelato once.


----------



## Mommoo

I'm also pretty new here, but I think the attitude is "the more the merrier!" Welcome new mamas!


----------



## Mommoo

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
I had their peanut butter gelato once.









That sounds delicious!!


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mommoo* 
That sounds delicious!!

oooooh yes!
I see from your siggy your son is around the same age is my DD. How have you found the first (almost) 2 years?


----------



## Mommoo

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
oooooh yes!
I see from your siggy your son is around the same age is my DD. How have you found the first (almost) 2 years?


You know, I feel so fortunate. It's nice of you to ask! I have just loved being a mom. I have moments of course, of sheer exhaustion, sleep deprivation, frustration (more with DP than DS). But mostly it's just surreal, unbelievable joy!

What about you?

My DS was super unexpected, and I had thought I would never have children. I think this adds to my amazement?







:


----------



## BaBaBa

It's been H A R D. The hardest thing I've ever done, hands down.
I never grew up dreaming of having kids like so many of us. I never really thought about it or saw myself being a mom. I don't think my mother was a good role model in this sense either.
My temperament isn't really well suited to it. I really like my space and private time but there isn't any of that anymore.
I'm sure it would be a lot easier if DH was around more but for the most part I'm parenting solo.
Thank goodness I discovered AP or I would have been repeating all the mistakes of my mother.
Don't get me wrong. I must be sounded like a bad mother but I really believe I'm a really good mum. I try so hard. I pour my entire self into it. It's just exhausting!
I still can't wrap my head around the fact that I'm somebody's mum. It's weird.
She's my everything. My treasure.


----------



## Mommoo

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
It's been H A R D. The hardest thing I've ever done, hands down.
I never grew up dreaming of having kids like so many of us. I never really thought about it or saw myself being a mom. I don't think my mother was a good role model in this sense either.
My temperament isn't really well suited to it. I really like my space and private time but there isn't any of that anymore.
I'm sure it would be a lot easier if DH was around more but for the most part I'm parenting solo.
Thank goodness I discovered AP or I would have been repeating all the mistakes of my mother.
Don't get me wrong. I must be sounded like a bad mother but I really believe I'm a really good mum. I try so hard. I pour my entire self into it. It's just exhausting!
I still can't wrap my head around the fact that I'm somebody's mum. It's weird.
She's my everything. My treasure.

You don't sound like a bad mum at all! I totally relate. I also feel like parenting is the hardest job ever. But I feel like it's the most fulfilling, and most rewarding. I wish it was acknowledged for the hard job it is!
From the little information I have, it sounds like we're in similar places, have had similar experiences!







I feel like AP and GD have been the primary reasons why I feel like I've had it so easy with DS. He's just so sweet and compassionate. He really seems to be able to listen to reason. He's not the tantrum type either.
When my DP is around, he's very good with Isaiah, but mostly for a short period of play time. Then he's reading or on the computer, or on the phone. He's also not around much.


----------



## pcasylum

Speaking of gelato, have any of you NH moms been to Cool Moose on Main St in Concord? Their gelato is to DIE for. Seriously!







:


----------



## BaBaBa

I'm not sure where Concord is. Is that 905 country?

Hollywood Gelato on Bayview is also really great. It's worth the parking ticket we seem to get every time we go.

Edited: Oh, I didn't see the NH. I thought you meant Concord, Ontario.


----------



## queensmommy

Hi Everyone,
Wow, I thought I was the only one with few to no friends. It's even tougher meeting other mamas because I don't want to vaccinate, I exclusively breastfeed, prefer holistic medicine and had a home birth. It gets pretty lonely. I get sad when other new mommies perceive me as 'strange' for the things I list above. What's tough too is that I am asian/chinese and almost no one asian/chinese does this, so I feel very very alone with my new son. Sometimes I cry because I get so sad. But I love my husband and new son to bits and feel absolutely blessed. And I have faith everything is how it should be. I hope someone can write back just to say hi.


----------



## Mommoo

Welcome queensmommy! I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling. I can relate to much of how you're feeling. You're not alone here.


----------



## simonsmama

Welcome queensmommy







:

I think we all know or have a taste of what you're going through, at least to some extent. I have a few friends, but they are all far away, and very busy apparently, too busy for me. I always wanted a friend to be there for me through thick and thin, and who I could call in the middle of the night if I needed to. Have you seen sisterhood of traveling pants? I wanted a friend like that. A sisterhood. But people don't seem to be like that anymore.








Maybe I'm expecting too much from people. Thats what hubby says.


----------



## APBTlover

Quote:


Originally Posted by *simonsmama* 
Maybe I'm expecting too much from people.

I wonder if I am, too.

The thing is, I had that, back in high school. Very close friends, thick and thin, call each other any time, took care of each other. And then, one at a time, things fell apart. By the time we graduated, moving away was just the nail in the coffin, really. I still talk to some of those friends but they live far away and it's nothing like it used to be.

Hugs to you ladies also experiencing this loneliness.


----------



## GooeyRN

Good afternoon, everyone! Welcome, queensmommy!


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *queensmommy* 
Hi Everyone,
Wow, I thought I was the only one with few to no friends. It's even tougher meeting other mamas because I don't want to vaccinate, I exclusively breastfeed, prefer holistic medicine and had a home birth. It gets pretty lonely. I get sad when other new mommies perceive me as 'strange' for the things I list above. What's tough too is that I am asian/chinese and almost no one asian/chinese does this, so I feel very very alone with my new son. Sometimes I cry because I get so sad. But I love my husband and new son to bits and feel absolutely blessed. And I have faith everything is how it should be. I hope someone can write back just to say hi.

















It's nice to meet you.
It's weird. Things can really change when you have a baby. Nothing says more about who we are than how we parent so I think 'mainstream' mothers really don't tolerate mothers that deviate from the cultural norm very well. The important thing is that you are making the best choices for your LO. It can be very lonely when you split from 'the herd'.
Please, don't get yourself too down







Come here and chat with us. I know it's not the same as having coffee with a friend or talking on the phone but you never know.
I can see how your loneliness is exacerbated within your culture. I've been reading a lot of Jhumpa Lahiri lately. She's a Bengali American who writes a lot of the Bengali experience in America. Her stories really opened my heart to the experiences of non Americans in America. There's a stereotype that they have their own communities and stick together but it's clearly not always the case.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *simonsmama* 
Welcome queensmommy







:
I always wanted a friend to be there for me through thick and thin, and who I could call in the middle of the night if I needed to. Have you seen sisterhood of traveling pants? I wanted a friend like that. A sisterhood. But people don't seem to be like that anymore.








Maybe I'm expecting too much from people. Thats what hubby says.

I know what you mean. I've seen that movie. My point of reference is Anne of Green Gables and her 'kindred spirit' Diana. Or Xena and Gabrielle.









Sometimes I wonder if those relationships are more a work of fiction than reality. I mean, I know they do exist but I think they are few and far between. Some people have outright dysfunctional relationships with their friends. You read some of the stories on MDC.

I think it's probably like love. You find it when you expect it the least.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *APBTlover* 
I wonder if I am, too.

The thing is, I had that, back in high school. Very close friends, thick and thin, call each other any time, took care of each other. And then, one at a time, things fell apart. By the time we graduated, moving away was just the nail in the coffin, really. I still talk to some of those friends but they live far away and it's nothing like it used to be.

Hugs to you ladies also experiencing this loneliness.











It's killing me....what's an APBT.

Oh wait! American Pit Bull Terrier?


----------



## APBTlover

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
It's killing me....what's an APBT.

Oh wait! American Pit Bull Terrier?

_Ding-ding-ding-ding!_ Correct!


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *APBTlover* 
_Ding-ding-ding-ding!_ Correct!



















They're banned here. It's quite ridiculous.


----------



## MommyofPunkiePie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 









They're banned here. It's quite ridiculous.









They're banned in Miami-Dade County, Florida as well.







It's is so sad because they are some of the sweetest dogs I have ever seen!


----------



## njbeachgirl

Hi mamas, can I join you?

I feel lonely a lot of the time lately. Since having my second baby (I now have 2 under 2) it is so much harder to get out. Even when I just had my DD it was usually just the two of us but at least we kept busy. DH works a lot and we live where he grew up, so all my friends from childhood/HS are a couple hours away- and they don't have kids or anything yet so we don't really have a connection like we used to. Our lives are just so different!

I do have one good mama friend here which is great- our daily walks with the kids keep us both sane I think!

But mostly I feel like I can't fit in or I have a hard time getting to know other mothers. Everyone around here has known everyone else since childhood it seems, and there is a lot of money around here too but we don't have as much, and I just feel strange and awkward around all these beautiful people with expensive clothes and bugaboo strollers! LOL!

Well, I look forward to talking to all of you.







:


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyofPunkiePie* 
They're banned in Miami-Dade County, Florida as well.







It's is so sad because they are some of the sweetest dogs I have ever seen!

I agree. Why don't they get it that it's the owners that are the dangerous ones?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *njbeachgirl* 
Hi mamas, can I join you?

I feel lonely a lot of the time lately. Since having my second baby (I now have 2 under 2) it is so much harder to get out. Even when I just had my DD it was usually just the two of us but at least we kept busy. DH works a lot and we live where he grew up, so all my friends from childhood/HS are a couple hours away- and they don't have kids or anything yet so we don't really have a connection like we used to. Our lives are just so different!

I do have one good mama friend here which is great- our daily walks with the kids keep us both sane I think!

But mostly I feel like I can't fit in or I have a hard time getting to know other mothers. Everyone around here has known everyone else since childhood it seems, and there is a lot of money around here too but we don't have as much, and I just feel strange and awkward around all these beautiful people with expensive clothes and bugaboo strollers! LOL!

Well, I look forward to talking to all of you.







:









: nice to meet you!
Is that the New Jersey Shore?
2 under 2 must be a struggle. I often feel that I'm at my breaking point with 1!
It's such a crossroads in one's life to have kids, isn't it? Life as you knew it has gone forever. I'm still struggling with my new role and identity.
I'm envious of your daily walks! It's great that you make time to do that as well. Do you walk along the beach? I find something so calming about large bodies of water.

Come back and chat


----------



## mommy2k&k

Welcome to all the new mommys here!!

Any type of Pitt Bull is banned here also. I just dont understand it, I mean all dogs are nice its just the owners who train them to be mean. We had a pit bull cross and it was the most friendly and nice dog i have ever seen. I love them.


----------



## njbeachgirl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
I agree. Why don't they get it that it's the owners that are the dangerous ones?








: nice to meet you!
Is that the New Jersey Shore?
2 under 2 must be a struggle. I often feel that I'm at my breaking point with 1!
It's such a crossroads in one's life to have kids, isn't it? Life as you knew it has gone forever. I'm still struggling with my new role and identity.
I'm envious of your daily walks! It's great that you make time to do that as well. Do you walk along the beach? I find something so calming about large bodies of water.

Come back and chat









I agree pit bulls are OK most of the time! And if they are aggressive it's generally because someone irresponsible trained or bred them to be









Yep, I am on the Jersey Shore! We do walk along the beach in the morning which is great. Now there is a big storm coming through here and it's going to start getting cold though, so we will see!

Having kids definitely changes things. I still feel like in my head i'm 16 and way too young to be MARRIED with a HOUSE and KIDS and a responsible car.... LOL!

Hi mommy2k&k!


----------



## BaBaBa

Happy Friday everyone!

Hope you have fun weekends planned.

I had a wonderful picnic lunch with another MDC mama yesterday, my internet is working again, the sun is out and the laundry is blowing in the breeze.DH is coming home tonight and it's pizza night!







: So, life is good.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *njbeachgirl* 

Yep, I am on the Jersey Shore! We do walk along the beach in the morning which is great. Now there is a big storm coming through here and it's going to start getting cold though, so we will see!

Having kids definitely changes things. I still feel like in my head i'm 16 and way too young to be MARRIED with a HOUSE and KIDS and a responsible car.... LOL!

Hi mommy2k&k!

Seaside storms just give me the chills. I love them! I think I must have been a sailor in a former life.







I haven't checked the forecast here yet but I'm guessing it will make it's way up here.

Ha! I'm 35 and I feel that way too! Just think...when you're 30 they'll be grown up! I'm kinda envious...Oh well, I guess the grass is always greener...It must be hard to relate to your peers and the mums you meet. You've got a foot in each world.


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *njbeachgirl* 

Yep, I am on the Jersey Shore! We do walk along the beach in the morning which is great. Now there is a big storm coming through here and it's going to start getting cold though, so we will see!

Having kids definitely changes things. I still feel like in my head i'm 16 and way too young to be MARRIED with a HOUSE and KIDS and a responsible car.... LOL!


I miss the ocean so much. There is nothing that is as wonderful as listening to the waves crashing on shore, a rain storm at the beach, the smell of the ocean, I wish I could bottle this to keep with me. I am from Florida, spent my entire life at the ocean. My dad was a lifeguard when I was growing up. Since I moved 3 yrs ago, it is the one thing that calls to me.

I am 42, on the outside I feel like an old fart, but on the inside when I picture myself, I feel 16 also. I don't think that ever changes, or at least I hope not. This last few months, as my kids started high school it has hit home about my age. This has never bothered me before. It is hard to let go of your youth, at least for me.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
I miss the ocean so much. There is nothing that is as wonderful as listening to the waves crashing on shore, a rain storm at the beach, the smell of the ocean, I wish I could bottle this to keep with me. I am from Florida, spent my entire life at the ocean. My dad was a lifeguard when I was growing up. Since I moved 3 yrs ago, it is the one thing that calls to me.

I am 42, on the outside I feel like an old fart, but on the inside when I picture myself, I feel 16 also. I don't think that ever changes, or at least I hope not. This last few months, as my kids started high school it has hit home about my age. This has never bothered me before. It is hard to let go of your youth, at least for me.

I know what you mean. I spent a lot of time in Scotland by the sea when I was a child. My Dad grew up around St. Andrews. As corny as it sounds, I think it gets in your blood. People who don't experience it just don't understand it. When we were on our honeymoon in France I just insisted we go to the seaside. I just HAD to dip my toes in the sea. He just didn't get it. How content I could be just to breathe the air and be calmed by the crashing of the waves. I'm planning our next holiday (2011) to have a lot of seaside time.

Ageing is such a surreal process when you think about it. It happens so slowly, minute by minute, day by day, year by year then all of a sudden one day you wake up and say 'Ugh! I'm old!'.

my goal is to do it gracefully. I haven't quite figured that out yet.


----------



## Miss Information

Hi. I'm new here too, though a veteran to MDC.

I haven't had a chance to read hardly any of the posts here, but I will intro myself:

I am 38. I used to work in microbiology, forensics, and medical genetics, but now I've been a SAHM for 4.5 years.

I have three lovely daughters 6.5, 5, and 3.5. Having three kids in 3.5 years has been the hardest things I've ever had to do.

They are fairly smart children. I try not to say much of their progress IRL to other moms, particularly to other moms whose kids are struggling a bit in school.

Apparently I can't keep female friendships going (though I've had male friends for 10, 20, and 24 years now). I managed to alienate one very close friend and neighbor, after she made a mean comment to my daughter and to me. I didn't take it lying down, so I attacked back. Looking back at it, I should have ignored it, but it wasn't the first time she got snotty about what I considered minor things. It's been hard to let the relationship go, but I'm ready to say goodbye. It seems that she's not interested in repairing things.

I get really down at least once a month. I'm thinking it's hormonally induced. By the fourth day of my period, I'm so depressed everything seems to fall apart. Then a day or two later, I seem to be just ducky. Other times it's just sheer fatigue that does me in. But I'm working on getting better self-care going.

Anyway, that's me in brief. Hope to learn more about the rest of you.


----------



## APBTlover

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
I miss the ocean so much.

I have never seen the ocean in my life.







I have a very vague memory of going to the beach once with my bio father, but he hasn't been in my life since I was 3, so I don't know if it really happened, lol. You all make it sound so lovely!

We don't have any BSL (breed-specific legislation) where I live, but another town in the same county instituted a form of it last fall against "pit bulls" (even though, technically, there is no such breed of dog) and Rotties. Muzzled at all times in public, special licenses, certain fences. That town doesn't get much of my money anymore.


----------



## APBTlover

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Miss Information* 
I get really down at least once a month. I'm thinking it's hormonally induced. By the fourth day of my period, I'm so depressed everything seems to fall apart. Then a day or two later, I seem to be just ducky. Other times it's just sheer fatigue that does me in. But I'm working on getting better self-care going.

Hi!

It comes and goes for me, as well. I try to keep a mental note, and I don't think it's hormonal. For me, it's more like I'm walking on ice all of the time, and everything is fine and dandy. Then, when life deals out a few cracks and scratches, suddenly the chasm is all that's left under me, you know?


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
I know what you mean. I spent a lot of time in Scotland by the sea when I was a child. My Dad grew up around St. Andrews. As corny as it sounds, I think it gets in your blood. People who don't experience it just don't understand it. When we were on our honeymoon in France I just insisted we go to the seaside. I just HAD to dip my toes in the sea. He just didn't get it. How content I could be just to breathe the air and be calmed by the crashing of the waves. I'm planning our next holiday (2011) to have a lot of seaside time.

Wow, you have been to some wonderful places. How exciting. I would love to travel outside my country before I pass on. Two places I would love to go Germany and Ireland!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Miss Information* 
Hi. I'm new here too, though a veteran to MDC.

I haven't had a chance to read hardly any of the posts here, but I will intro myself:

I am 38. I used to work in microbiology, forensics, and medical genetics, but now I've been a SAHM for 4.5 years.

I have three lovely daughters 6.5, 5, and 3.5. Having three kids in 3.5 years has been the hardest things I've ever had to do.

They are fairly smart children. I try not to say much of their progress IRL to other moms, particularly to other moms whose kids are struggling a bit in school.

Apparently I can't keep female friendships going (though I've had male friends for 10, 20, and 24 years now). I managed to alienate one very close friend and neighbor, after she made a mean comment to my daughter and to me. I didn't take it lying down, so I attacked back. Looking back at it, I should have ignored it, but it wasn't the first time she got snotty about what I considered minor things. It's been hard to let the relationship go, but I'm ready to say goodbye. It seems that she's not interested in repairing things.

I get really down at least once a month. I'm thinking it's hormonally induced. By the fourth day of my period, I'm so depressed everything seems to fall apart. Then a day or two later, I seem to be just ducky. Other times it's just sheer fatigue that does me in. But I'm working on getting better self-care going.

Anyway, that's me in brief. Hope to learn more about the rest of you.









I have seen you around. Glad to meet you. I hear you on the 3 kids, they keep you busy. I am in the same boat with friendships. I have a few friends that are female, but most of my long term friendships are male. Right now I am low on the friendships.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *APBTlover* 
I have never seen the ocean in my life.







I have a very vague memory of going to the beach once with my bio father, but he hasn't been in my life since I was 3, so I don't know if it really happened, lol. You all make it sound so lovely!

IMO, everyone should see the ocean just once. It is so different than any other body of water. It is amazing!


----------



## summerforever1977

I hope you all don't mind if I join. I'm not really new to MDC, but haven't posted in about eight months and have a new username. ANyway, I too live at the Jersey Shore. I have an 8.5 month old baby, Ben. My husband is my best friend and I keep in touch every so often with friends from high school (I'm 31), but haven't been able to make a freind in the 9 years I've been living in Jersey. I guess it doesn't help that I'm kind of isolated in the sense that my DH and I run a business and I don't have any business associates and I know a lot of people make friends at work. I take my son to some mommy and me classes, but still haven't managed to make a friend. I'm friendly, outgoing, interested in other people, but I'm just an outsider; you know, I walk to the beat of my own drum. I just seem to do things and think differently than the women I meet IRL. I wish I could meet some of the women I've met in forums IRL...

We have a rottie in our family and he's our second rottie. People definately have biases against rotties and it is totally unfair. Our rotties are big wussy love hounds.

I can relate to so much of what I've read on here. Most of the time I am not lonely, I really like myself and enjoy spending time alone. But, at times I really miss that friend connection, that person you can just pick up the phone and call when you have something silly or really important that you just have to share. My DH and my mom usually fit the bill, but I still miss that female-friend connection.

You all seem so cool, hope to get to know you all a little better.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Miss Information* 
Hi. I'm new here too, though a veteran to MDC.

I haven't had a chance to read hardly any of the posts here, but I will intro myself:

I am 38. I used to work in microbiology, forensics, and medical genetics, but now I've been a SAHM for 4.5 years.

I have three lovely daughters 6.5, 5, and 3.5. Having three kids in 3.5 years has been the hardest things I've ever had to do.

They are fairly smart children. I try not to say much of their progress IRL to other moms, particularly to other moms whose kids are struggling a bit in school.

Apparently I can't keep female friendships going (though I've had male friends for 10, 20, and 24 years now). I managed to alienate one very close friend and neighbor, after she made a mean comment to my daughter and to me. I didn't take it lying down, so I attacked back. Looking back at it, I should have ignored it, but it wasn't the first time she got snotty about what I considered minor things. It's been hard to let the relationship go, but I'm ready to say goodbye. It seems that she's not interested in repairing things.

I get really down at least once a month. I'm thinking it's hormonally induced. By the fourth day of my period, I'm so depressed everything seems to fall apart. Then a day or two later, I seem to be just ducky. Other times it's just sheer fatigue that does me in. But I'm working on getting better self-care going.

Anyway, that's me in brief. Hope to learn more about the rest of you.

I can't stay for long. Today is 'family day'.







: MissInfo
Nice to meet you.
Do you feel that your brain has turned to mush since you SAH? I am really struggling with this right now.
It's nice to meet a mama from the science world.
I do enjoy reading on those subjects as long as it's suitable for the lay person. What do you think of Richard Dawkins? Oh I can think of a few subjects I'd like to get your thoughts on...
3 kids in 3 years?







: That's crazy hard but if you survive (







) then I think it's great for them and the family that they are so close together.
I don't think there's any benefit in continuing 'toxic' friendships.
I think there's a lot of truth in what you said about the hormonal thing. I've only been on this thread a short time but I have seen many mamas post, get their issues regarding their situations of their chests and I never see them back. I know this to be true, myself. Somedays you can feel so desperate but things always get better. I try to remind myself of this when I'm down. I compare my moods and emotions to the weather. No matter how many days of rain the sun always shines again.








Ugh. That is so corny.


----------



## JennaW

Hey Mamas, I think I have a place here.

To be honest, this "no friend" thing has been a long time coming for me. I think it started in college (just graduated last December).

I worked full time and went to school full time which really didn't allow a lot of time for friends but I felt socially involved because of my work relationships. Well, then switched jobs to being a nanny and I was spending so much time with kids, which was great but took away a major adult socialization factor.

I was pregnant when I graduated and my last semester of college was a full load of difficult classes so I, again, was not investing time in personal relationships.

I do have some friends but I feel like our relationships are not as fulfilling as they could be. I am working on that but I feel like I have so much more "free time" on my hands then these friends. I am also weary of overstaying my welcome in their homes. In addition, my friends who are still childless, I am finding a hard time relating to on some levels now (mostly I feel like I don't have anything "important" to contribute to the conversation).

I keep having this "dream friend" in my mind. I want another woman that I can just hang out with- be honest with about my life. I want someone that can come over to my house when its not perfect and we can hang out for hours, play with our babies and be comfortable enough with each other to say "Alright, I need some space, time for you to go" if it becomes too much- with no hard feelings. I know I need to let go of these expectations because the reality is that those types of friendships take years to develop.

So here I am. Thanks for starting this tribe. I have more to say but I will start there.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *APBTlover* 
I have never seen the ocean in my life.







I have a very vague memory of going to the beach once with my bio father, but he hasn't been in my life since I was 3, so I don't know if it really happened, lol. You all make it sound so lovely!









: oh you should definitely plan a vacation!


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Two places I would love to go Germany and Ireland!


Why those two places in particular. I'm guessing because you have red hair, maybe you are of Irish descent?


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *summerforever1977* 
I hope you all don't mind if I join. I'm not really new to MDC, but haven't posted in about eight months and have a new username. ANyway, I too live at the Jersey Shore. I have an 8.5 month old baby, Ben. My husband is my best friend and I keep in touch every so often with friends from high school (I'm 31), but haven't been able to make a freind in the 9 years I've been living in Jersey. I guess it doesn't help that I'm kind of isolated in the sense that my DH and I run a business and I don't have any business associates and I know a lot of people make friends at work. I take my son to some mommy and me classes, but still haven't managed to make a friend. I'm friendly, outgoing, interested in other people, but I'm just an outsider; you know, I walk to the beat of my own drum. I just seem to do things and think differently than the women I meet IRL. I wish I could meet some of the women I've met in forums IRL...

We have a rottie in our family and he's our second rottie. People definately have biases against rotties and it is totally unfair. Our rotties are big wussy love hounds.

I can relate to so much of what I've read on here. Most of the time I am not lonely, I really like myself and enjoy spending time alone. But, at times I really miss that friend connection, that person you can just pick up the phone and call when you have something silly or really important that you just have to share. My DH and my mom usually fit the bill, but I still miss that female-friend connection.

You all seem so cool, hope to get to know you all a little better.









:
It's nice to meet you.
Another Jersey Shore mama! That's cool. I made a friend on MDC with another mama who lives close to me. It's a smaller world than we know!
How are you finding new motherhood? I'm still trying to figure it all out. It seems than whenever I get into a routine that works DD changes again and I need to figure out a new one.
I'm a loner by nature too. I never felt lonely in my life until I had a baby. Funny how they can make you feel so isolated sometimes. I guess they just take our heart, soul everything and we just need someone to replenish that energy in us.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JennaW* 
Hey Mamas, I think I have a place here.

To be honest, this "no friend" thing has been a long time coming for me. I think it started in college (just graduated last December).

I worked full time and went to school full time which really didn't allow a lot of time for friends but I felt socially involved because of my work relationships. Well, then switched jobs to being a nanny and I was spending so much time with kids, which was great but took away a major adult socialization factor.

I was pregnant when I graduated and my last semester of college was a full load of difficult classes so I, again, was not investing time in personal relationships.

I do have some friends but I feel like our relationships are not as fulfilling as they could be. I am working on that but I feel like I have so much more "free time" on my hands then these friends. I am also weary of overstaying my welcome in their homes. In addition, my friends who are still childless, I am finding a hard time relating to on some levels now (mostly I feel like I don't have anything "important" to contribute to the conversation).

I keep having this "dream friend" in my mind. I want another woman that I can just hang out with- be honest with about my life. I want someone that can come over to my house when its not perfect and we can hang out for hours, play with our babies and be comfortable enough with each other to say "Alright, I need some space, time for you to go" if it becomes too much- with no hard feelings. I know I need to let go of these expectations because the reality is that those types of friendships take years to develop.

So here I am. Thanks for starting this tribe. I have more to say but I will start there.











You've been really busy! I really respect that. I have trouble coping just SAH with DD.

It is really alienating when friends don't have kids. You just naturally drift apart.

I hear you with the 'dream friend'. That's okay. We all need some fantasy in our lives.


----------



## JennaW

Thanks for responding. Yes, staying home with DD ALL THE TIME is a total blessing but also feels so draining at times. How old is your DD? Mine is 10 weeks old.

I think part of the reason I have "no friends" is because I have been so busy. It was like my life was on fast forward- college, got married, graduated with my B.A. in Nutrition, had a baby and then BAM! Everything just *stopped*. I didn't work while I was pregnant either (besides some very minor WAH stuff for a couple months) because it didn't make sense to get a job since I was planning to stay home and who wants to hire pregnant woman that plans on SAH anyway?

I am trying to nurture a relationship with a friend who is the wife of one of DH's former co-workers. We are friends with them. Her DS is one year old and I feel like we have a pretty solid relationship but just don't spend a lot of time together. Unlike me she has many other friends so I don't want to take advantage of her time, KWIM?

Baby is up, be back later.


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Why those two places in particular. I'm guessing because you have red hair, maybe you are of Irish descent?










Yes, both German and Irish. I think I would like to go to a place that has lots of redheads! I am always the turd in the punch bowl..

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JennaW* 
Hey Mamas, I think I have a place here.

To be honest, this "no friend" thing has been a long time coming for me. I think it started in college (just graduated last December).

I worked full time and went to school full time which really didn't allow a lot of time for friends but I felt socially involved because of my work relationships. Well, then switched jobs to being a nanny and I was spending so much time with kids, which was great but took away a major adult socialization factor.

I was pregnant when I graduated and my last semester of college was a full load of difficult classes so I, again, was not investing time in personal relationships.

I do have some friends but I feel like our relationships are not as fulfilling as they could be. I am working on that but I feel like I have so much more "free time" on my hands then these friends. I am also weary of overstaying my welcome in their homes. In addition, my friends who are still childless, I am finding a hard time relating to on some levels now (mostly I feel like I don't have anything "important" to contribute to the conversation).

I keep having this "dream friend" in my mind. I want another woman that I can just hang out with- be honest with about my life. I want someone that can come over to my house when its not perfect and we can hang out for hours, play with our babies and be comfortable enough with each other to say "Alright, I need some space, time for you to go" if it becomes too much- with no hard feelings. I know I need to let go of these expectations because the reality is that those types of friendships take years to develop.

So here I am. Thanks for starting this tribe. I have more to say but I will start there.











Quote:


Originally Posted by *summerforever1977* 
I hope you all don't mind if I join. I'm not really new to MDC, but haven't posted in about eight months and have a new username. ANyway, I too live at the Jersey Shore. I have an 8.5 month old baby, Ben. My husband is my best friend and I keep in touch every so often with friends from high school (I'm 31), but haven't been able to make a freind in the 9 years I've been living in Jersey. I guess it doesn't help that I'm kind of isolated in the sense that my DH and I run a business and I don't have any business associates and I know a lot of people make friends at work. I take my son to some mommy and me classes, but still haven't managed to make a friend. I'm friendly, outgoing, interested in other people, but I'm just an outsider; you know, I walk to the beat of my own drum. I just seem to do things and think differently than the women I meet IRL. I wish I could meet some of the women I've met in forums IRL...

We have a rottie in our family and he's our second rottie. People definately have biases against rotties and it is totally unfair. Our rotties are big wussy love hounds.

I can relate to so much of what I've read on here. Most of the time I am not lonely, I really like myself and enjoy spending time alone. But, at times I really miss that friend connection, that person you can just pick up the phone and call when you have something silly or really important that you just have to share. My DH and my mom usually fit the bill, but I still miss that female-friend connection.

You all seem so cool, hope to get to know you all a little better.


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## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JennaW* 
Thanks for responding. Yes, staying home with DD ALL THE TIME is a total blessing but also feels so draining at times. How old is your DD? Mine is 10 weeks old.

I think part of the reason I have "no friends" is because I have been so busy. It was like my life was on fast forward- college, got married, graduated with my B.A. in Nutrition, had a baby and then BAM! Everything just *stopped*. I didn't work while I was pregnant either (besides some very minor WAH stuff for a couple months) because it didn't make sense to get a job since I was planning to stay home and who wants to hire pregnant woman that plans on SAH anyway?

I am trying to nurture a relationship with a friend who is the wife of one of DH's former co-workers. We are friends with them. Her DS is one year old and I feel like we have a pretty solid relationship but just don't spend a lot of time together. Unlike me she has many other friends so I don't want to take advantage of her time, KWIM?

Baby is up, be back later.

Sophie will be 2 in December. Things are finally beginning to get a bit easier...







It must be a very exciting time for you.
Do you have much family support?

I didn't work much while I was pregnant either. We were setting up the farm at the time and had animals so they needed attention. I worked in film and some of it honestly would have been too stressful for me I think.


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## JennaW

It is a special time, especially now that she is flashing us so many smiles and her little personality is really starting to shine through.

I do have a lot of family support which in wonderful. I think if I didn't have my family around I would be much, much more lonely. My Mom and Dad live about 10 minutes away so we spend a lot of time with them.

I was supposed to get together with a friend today but she had to cancel because her son was sick last week and now he has to make up a baby music class. I understand though, those classes are expensive so you want to get your money's worth. Hopefully we will get together next week.

Does anyone else here feel like their financial status puts them in an awkward position in their social life? DH's salary was essentially cut in half this past year because he didn't make any commission at his job like he usually does, so things have been really tight. I just can't afford to drop money at the zoo or going out to lunch or whatever. I was even avoiding going to a playgroup I wanted to join because they ask for a $2 donation every single time (which I personally think is kind of silly considering it is just a bunch of like minded Mom's getting together at a public park). I eventually ended up going anyway only to find that nobody else showed up









DD was going through a growth spurt the last 2 days. She also decided she hates the left boob and hates nursing any other way then side-lying. *sigh*


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## BaBaBa

That's awesome that your folks are so close. It's wonderful when a child has close access to their grandparents. It gives you a break, keeps the grandparents young and gives LO broader life experience.

That's too bad about your cancelled date







I'm glad to find you here though!

We haven't suffered financially since I quit work. DH's career really took off then so he's making up for the lost income. The downside is that we don't see him much. It's funny what you said about not going to the play group. When I am in circumstances where I need to budget I always go overboard and hold on to every last cent. To be successful with a budget I think that you do need to allow yourself some pleasures (if it's possible). You might have to get creative.

Ahhh the nursing habits of babes! I liked side lying but then I had a broken tailbone. Breast feeding got me back in to reading. I've read a lot, a lot of books since Sophie was born.


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## expat-mama

Hi there-
I've often sorta of lurked in this tribe as I lurk mostly on MDC and rarely post.
I'm not a mama yet, but I am definitely lonely and don't really have any friends. Lately, I've been trying to work through this problem and figure out why and how I can open myself up to new relationships because I will be moving to a new place in a few months and would really like to establish new connections.

I think there are a lot of reasons I'm a no friend, lonely gal-








I've moved around lots in my life and found it hard to build lasting relationships. I've also always been a bit of an odd duck- I have what some people would call "extreme" views about some things (politics, religion...basically everything) and I'm very opinionated.
As for my life history- it's a strange one and I have VERY little in common (in terms of life experiences) with most people I meet.

I also grew up in an emotionally abusive home and never wanted to let others know about my family situation- I was always hiding that or covering it up. My parents were also pretty anti-social and depressive types- so no learning by example of how to make friends from them.

I find it extremely hard to really open up about myself (when I was a kid, I used to solve this problem by lying a lot) and I find that I'm far too critical of others.








I have a history of mild depression and pretty bad anxiety. Even though I am really good at "acting normal" in social situations, inside I'm often thinking things like "gawd, I'm such an idiot, I can't believe I said that" or "this person is totally unimpressed by me and thinks I'm a loser"...or something...

I guess the most recent thing that I've felt hinders me in making new connections, is that my husband and I are SUCH good friends. Sometimes I feel like he is ALL I need in terms of social interaction. We get along soo well, and have stimulating conversations, similar hobbies (most of which are pretty anti-social like reading...), etc. No one else can really measure up!

We have lived abroad now for about 5 years and we're moving back to Canada where I really hope to settle down, make friends and be a part of a "community". Things I've never done before. I'm especially feeling that this will be necessary to present a balanced perspective to our (hopefully coming soon!) children.

I'm glad I found this tribe and welcome any advice you mamas have to give me about connecting with others. Sometimes I feel like I'm in my own little universe...


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## BaBaBa

ExPat

You sound like a fascinating individual with a lot to offer.

I'm Canadian too. What took you to East Asia?

Have you been lurking on this tribe for long? I'm beginning to feel like the self-appointed welcoming committee. People come, say hi, pour their hearts out and never seem to come back? Maybe the thread just serves best as a place to make our confessions before we move on.

Like you, I was always moving around as a kid. The idea of having a friend from childhood is just so foreign to me.

That's a shame that your views alienate you from others. Is that because others can't tolerate the differences or you can't?

You've got me really curious about your life history....

I'm sorry about your family life. Sometimes we don't realize how they affected us until we're well established in our adult lives. I think a lot of your feelings are more common than you might think.

I hear you about the hubby. There's no one I'd rather spend time with. Problem is, he only lives with us part time now so it leaves a void. I also found that having a child made me want to connect with others where I never had that desire before.

Where are you looking at settling?

This probably isn't the best place to get advice on how to connect with others...








But, I think you really have to stay true to yourself first.
If meeting people is the problem then you could get involved in areas that really interest you. You sound like a passionate person.

What are your passions?


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## JennaW

Hi expat-mama, I'm new here myself.

I totally hear you on just being happy being friends with DH! I am like that too. As a matter of fact, most days I'm not even lonely, I'm happy just being with DD all day and then DH and I hang out. But, on the days I am lonely, I REALLY feel it. I won't say I feel depressed but maybe just kind of bored or something? Also, I fear that eventually I might start to make my DH feel like I am "clingy" or something, as if he has to entertain me once he gets home







I am already asking him a million questions about his day and if he gets off the phone with someone I am like "Who was that? What did they say? Then what did they say? Oh what did you say?" It's like I want to feel like I had the conversation myself or something, pathetic.

I'm sorry your upbringing was tough. I wouldn't say I came from an emotionally abusive home but there were some tough spots to my childhood and some things that were just plain weird, really.








on the anxiety issues. My Mom really struggles with anxiety as well, I know it can be really hard on her. Her issues mostly have to do with physical things though, rather then social things.

You mentioned you like to read, does a book club sound appealing at all? There would be a common subject at hand which makes conversation easier.

I hope TTC is easy on you, I remember that being an exciting yet stressful time. Do you have any ideas on what kind of birth you want? I think it's really important to examine your options before you get pregnant, so you can start off on the right foot.









BaBaBa-

Really glad to hear you and DH are doing well financially. I'm hoping DH's career will recover in the upcoming year.

What kind of things do you like to do with your DD? Do you have any hobbies you enjoy?

Or just anything else you want to talk about?


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## BaBaBa

Hey Jenna,
How's it going?
I'm zonked. We went to playgroup this morning and I'm exhausted and feeling kinda







. DD's super cranky so I'm afraid we're headed for a melt down so, I'm just trying to chill.

DH finishes work tonight and will be home tomorrow. There's a stick going to happen that may or may not affect him so it would be nice if he was off for a few weeks (but not too long IYKWIM)

I'm feeling so burnt out lately that I have a hard time saying what I like to do with DD







other than just get through the day....DD is really high needs.

Oh that sounds terrible!

I like to sing and dance with her, go for walks and she's really discovering speech now and that's exciting.

Hobbies? What are hobbies?

Oh I remember! They used to be horseback riding, vegetarian cooking/baking, gardening and hobby farming but I'm lucky if I get 1 hour of 'me' time a week so hobbies are on hold.
I'd like to be crafty!
My new hobby is reading, reading reading! Still plenty of BFing going on around here and that fits in just fine.

Chat soon!


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## JennaW

Sorry for the rough day BaBaBa (do you happen to have a first name you would like to indulge, I feel kind of silly calling you that, lol but totally understand if that makes you uncomfortable).

I did a lot of nanny work before having DD and I find toddlers to be absolutely exhausting. They are so sweet but just demand CONSTANT interaction and you can start to feel like you are on the brink of insanity.







I hope things mellow out soon for you!

I know what you mean about wanting DH around but not too much, lol. As much as I love DH I was ready for him to go back to work after DD was born. He was home for 2 weeks which was great but I needed to settle into my own routine. Also, it makes me feel kind of lazy if someone is just watching my lay on the bed and nurse all day.

I don't have many hobbies either. I also love to bake and cook, although I am not vegetarian but I do like to make vegetarian things as I have many vegetarian friends. I usually plant a huge veggie garden every year but didn't this year since I was "so pregnant", I am missing it big time! Mmmm...garden tomatoes....

I love to read but have not had the chance to even pick up a book besides Dr. Sears _Baby Book_ since DD was born. Have you read any of Michael Pollan's work? I read _In Defense of Food_ when I was pregnant, so fascinating, especially to me since my educational background is in nutrition.

I hope you are enjoying some time to yourself right now







Be good to yourself Mama


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## BaBaBa

Jenna:







Alison

Yeah, my garden has been duelling it out with Mother Nature for 2 years now. I think next year when Sophie's a bit older I'll be able to whip it back into shape. I tried to garden with her this summer and it was a disaster. I was too uncomfortable with her in the Ergo and on the ground she just got into everything.
This summer was so cool and wet it's been lousy for the tomatoes I did manage to get in. I also put them in later than I would have liked to. I've got lots of green ones but I'm afraid we'll have a frost any day now.
This is me on goodreads http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/1503712
I found out about this site on MDC and it's pretty cool.
Dr. sears baby book is great. That's where I found out that all the things I planned to do had a name 'Attachment Parenting'. My midwife recommended it to me because I insisted that I needed a 'manual'








I am familiar with Michael Pollan. I've heard him on NPR and although I got my MIL to read it and received the book myself as a gift, I haven't read it








What I've heard and browsed I'm all over.
i'd love to hear your take on it, as a nutritionist.
Have you ever seen this website
nutritiondata.com
I know you know all that stuff but I think it's a cool site.


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## expat-mama

Hi BabaBa and Jenna-

Thanks for the hugs~ I haven't been lurking that long. Just working up the courage to post I guess. I used to post in the TTC forums, but usually it's not that personal over there- mostly talk about charts and peeing on sticks









I'm originally from Ottawa- well I was born there and lived there till I was 7 and my mum's family lives around there. My family moved to the states and we moved around (mostly Boston and NYC) there till I came back to Canada for university. My husband and I are probably moving to BC early next year (if he gets into the PhD program he wants). I love the west. Where abouts are you BaBaBa?

We came to Asia to pay off student loans by teaching English. Now my dh is doing research here and I am working as an editor as well as a teacher. Over the past 5 years we have gotten to travel a lot around Asia, Europe and Africa and with a lot of hard work and overtime we just about finished paying off those loans. I can't even describe the feeling of successfully paying down over $60,000 between the two of us... Yey! We really like traveling, but we want to settle back in Canada, at least for a little while, so dh can get his PhD and we can start our family.

I'm not sure why I feel that my views alienate me from others. Sometimes I think it IS because I'm so passionate...and stubborn...and argumentative.







I'm a bit of an idealist as well, and apathy really rubs me the wrong way. Whenever I find myself talking to people about issues I think are important I feel like I'm "schooling" them. I guess (and please don't think I'm snooty







) I am a really well-educated person from a really well-educated family and a lot of the time I feel like I'm talking to dumbasses. *Sigh* I suppose I am intolerant. But I'm not happy about it...

I think a lot of my feelings of isolation stem from my upbringing and my background. I'm biracial- my mom is French-Canadian my dad is from South Africa/Zimbabwe. I grew up mostly around white folks and I never *quite* fit it in, though I wasn't an outcast or anything. I was always different, though. Moving about every 2 years when I was growing up always made me feel like an outsider even though I used to make friends pretty easily as a kid. I think things took a turn in high school. I won a scholarship to a really prestigious boarding school, where everyone was very white, very upper-crust American, and uber-wealthy. I was the poor Canadian biracial scholarship kid. It was really difficult socially and that's when the depression and anxiety hit. At the same time my home life was really screwed up and there was no safe haven there. The last two years my parents were living in Africa and I was a continent away. Anyway... all of the above experiences have really made me feel set apart from pretty much everyone I've ever met.
Gosh...could I spill my guts ANY more???

Jenna, I feel you on being afraid of being "clingy".







- I am just like that sometimes when DH gets off the phone! Yikes. In a lot of ways my DH is like me (too smart for his own good) but he is so much better at connecting with people. Sometimes I feel like I am hindering him socially







- something I REALLY don't want to do!

As for TTC- gah! We are at the end of our 5th cycle. I'm trying not to let it get me down... my natural tendencies toward anxiety make me think that something is wrong with me each month we don't get pregnant. I just want to be pregnant NOW so I don't have to deal with the stress of TTC anymore!
When we thought I might get pregnant before getting home to Canada (no chance of that now) we were pretty terrified of the birth options here and dh convinced me that we could UC with hospital backup. I want a natural birth with no interventions and we are not too thrilled with the modern medical establishment- so who knows? Maybe we'll still try to UC back home or just go with a really hands-off midwife for a homebirth...wherever our home might be... At this point, I've probably read TOO much about natural birth









Anyway, right now where we live, there aren't too many social opportunities- we are limited to people who speak English well. Most foreign people here are young US soldiers or English teachers fresh out of undergrad- and we aren't too interested in getting drunk and passing out in ditches these days. We socialize a bit with coworkers, but that's mostly polite dinners and meetings etc. I'm just thinking ahead for when we move back to Canada.

Thanks for welcoming me, ladies.
It's nice to be here.


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## summerforever1977

Thanks for the welcome redveg and Alison!


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## JennaW

Alison,

In a nutshell- I pretty much think Polan is right on. While I think science is wonderful in many ways, I think it has gotten to the point of being dangerous with our food. It scares the crap out of me to see some of the claims made on "edible food like substances" as Polan calls them in our grocery stores. It amazes me that I can talk to someone about their diet which they think is "very healthy" only to find out they didn't eat a single piece of real fruit that day. I have to contain myself when I mother prides herself in how much "healthy" juice her child is drinking. Ah- don't get me started on this stuff....









I didn't get a chance to check those links out yet, maybe tomorrow?

Expat-Mama,

Wow! $60,000? Good job, you're amazing! My DH and I are trying to pay off stupid amounts of credit card debt right now, you give me hope.

It sounds like you had some really hard times growing up. I can't really relate to what you went through, so I won't insult you by trying.

I can feel you somewhat on the issue of being passionate about beliefs and feeling like you are so absolute in your opinion that you just can't waiver. That is a tough one because you theoretically want to be open minded and accepting but the issue at hand is just too important. Where is the line between respect for differences and standing by what you believe? I ponder this thought a lot just in the BF section of MDC.

Some of the best advice I got about TTC was from my Nurse Practitioner. She told me the "average" length of time for getting preggo is 6 months, so that means that you are just as likely to get pregnant on the 1st month as you are the 12th. She also told me to stop worrying about charting and just have a lot of sex and to enjoy it!









I personally had a natural birth in a hospital with a midwife. I was satisfied with my experience but I think if I were to do it again, I would want a homebirth with a midwife. Weird things happen in labor, I personally think it is nice to have someone there that has seen it all so you don't have to worry about everything yourself. I am not against UC at all though, I'm just sharing my thoughts, I hope you aren't offended.

Hey there Summerforever!


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## BaBaBa

I can't stay to chat.
I've got a busy day ahead. My Dad's coming for a visit and DH comes home.
I'll be back later.


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## CarsonBookworm

I'm joining this tribe!

As busy as I am, I find myself lonely a great deal of the time and without friends.

Looking forward to getting to know all of you!


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## BaBaBa

X: I'm in Grey/Bruce which is south central Ontario. Before making the move to the country I lived in Toronto. I've never been to BC but I'd love to go. It's beautiful, I like the climate an the people are more laid back.
Where did you go to university? I went to U of T.

Gotta go
i'll be back later to catch up...


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## ChetMC

I feel like I belong here. I have friends, but none of them live in this time zone. We were warned that the Seattle area isn't known for being particularly friendly before we moved here, and we've found it to be very true. It's really difficult for me to go to formal moms groups and things since I don't drive, have three kids and you can't use strollers on the buses here. I've been spending a lot of time on MDC to stave off the loneliness during the day when DH is at work.


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## BaBaBa

X: That must feel great to have all that paid off. We just paid off a lot of debt and it feels good.

I'm so envious of all your travels...

I've got more to say but it will have to wait til later.


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## expat-mama

Hey-
I lived in Toronto briefly last year when we were between moves here. I liked it but I found people a bit uptight and it was a little expensive. It is a beautiful city though and more exciting than Ottawa, that's for sure.
I went to Queen's for undergrad and McGill grad.

I LOVE BC. I took a year off university and moved out to Vancouver and it was so great. People are definitely more laid back and it's just so beautiful out west. I think I'm just one of those people that need to be near the ocean. I feel more at peace or something.

I've got to go to work now. It's Saturday morning here...yep- working my *** off paying of the last of those loans!

Hi Chet and Carson, I'm new too.


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## BaBaBa

It can be so hard to accept people who have different views on the things you care about. It's silly because it serves neither party nor the cause when you shut someone out because they disagree with you.

A recent example: DH and I were invited to a Bris. I told DH that I could never be present at a circumcision because I feel that would be condoning it. A heated 'discussion'







followed. DH's question to me (the couple are his friends) is how does one support one's friends when you disagree with them. I could not provide any better answer than to lie about the reason you can't attend.

I don't know why this can be so hard. Is it vanity? Pride? Do we want our friends to be a reflection of ourselves more than we want them to be themselves?

I preach about tolerance, but often find I'm not.









Hmmm.....


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## expat-mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
It can be so hard to accept people who have different views on the things you care about. It's silly because it serves neither party nor the cause when you shut someone out because they disagree with you.

I don't know why this can be so hard. Is it vanity? Pride? Do we want our friends to be a reflection of ourselves more than we want them to be themselves?

I preach about tolerance, but often find I'm not.









Hmmm.....

What a reflective and thoughtful post. I often wonder these things myself.

I was just thinking the other day that I'm awfully intolerant of intolerant people and judgmental of those with prejudice.

It's really a thought-provoking subject... one that I need to think about more.


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## expat-mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ChetMC* 
I feel like I belong here. I have friends, but none of them live in this time zone. We were warned that the Seattle area isn't known for being particularly friendly before we moved here, and we've found it to be very true. It's really difficult for me to go to formal moms groups and things since I don't drive, have three kids and you can't use strollers on the buses here. I've been spending a lot of time on MDC to stave off the loneliness during the day when DH is at work.

Hi Chet- An acquaintance of mine recently moved from Seattle to Philadelphia and was remarking on how much easier it was to meet people in Philly. I also read an article a while back about what an "unfriendly" city Seattle is. It's strange that an entire city can take on such a characteristic. What do you think it is about Seattle that makes it that way?


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## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
It can be so hard to accept people who have different views on the things you care about. It's silly because it serves neither party nor the cause when you shut someone out because they disagree with you.

A recent example: DH and I were invited to a Bris. I told DH that I could never be present at a circumcision because I feel that would be condoning it. A heated 'discussion'







followed. DH's question to me (the couple are his friends) is how does one support one's friends when you disagree with them. I could not provide any better answer than to lie about the reason you can't attend.

I don't know why this can be so hard. Is it vanity? Pride? Do we want our friends to be a reflection of ourselves more than we want them to be themselves?

I preach about tolerance, but often find I'm not.









Hmmm.....


Wow what a great post. This is something I think I will journal about and get back to you on..


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## BaBaBa

Good morning everyone!

I'm still trying to catch up on the posts I haven't read yet but the family is keeping me busy









X: I just wanted to say that I think you're going to be an awesome mom. You have a lot of life experience, education, passion and self awareness and I think these are great qualities in a mom. Do you think you'll home school?

Anyhow I'm







: for you.

Back in a bit.


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## BaBaBa

J: I agree

It's a huge problem acing our society and I don't know what the answer is. So much of our economy relies on food processing/packaging/shipping/marketing etc. And what about the med and pharma companies that profit from all the diet related ailments? It boggles my mind how we've set ourselves up for ruin. Does Pollan offer any solutions? (I know I should read it)

I was at a play group this week and all the ladies are really nice but I am shocked with the snacks that are brought for the kids. Goldfish crackers? Donoughts?







I was shocked. I brought the only fruit on the tray.

They're not stupid people. What is it that makes people think you can feed that crap to children? Ignorance? How can you be ignorant in the information age? Do they not want to know? Is it laziness? Apathy? I know going through a drive thru to pick up donoughts is marginally easier than slicing an apple but C'MON!


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## BaBaBa

I had a homebirth with a midwife.

When I was first pregnant I said I wanted a hospital birth with all the drugs and told DH he didn't need to be there.







:
When I actually researched all the options I made a complete 180.
It was tough to decide between homebirth and natural hospital especially since the hospital was over 1 hour away but my pregnancy was low risk and the statistics were in my favour. (We actually left a hospital to birth but that's another story). It couldn't have been a better experience.

I totally respect UC. It's just not for me (or DH







). But if it happened accidently I'd be immensely pleased with myself)


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## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CarsonBookworm* 
I'm joining this tribe!

As busy as I am, I find myself lonely a great deal of the time and without friends.

Looking forward to getting to know all of you!










Nice to meet you! Come back and chat soon!


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## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ChetMC* 
I feel like I belong here. I have friends, but none of them live in this time zone. We were warned that the Seattle area isn't known for being particularly friendly before we moved here, and we've found it to be very true. It's really difficult for me to go to formal moms groups and things since I don't drive, have three kids and you can't use strollers on the buses here. I've been spending a lot of time on MDC to stave off the loneliness during the day when DH is at work.









: ChetMC


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## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 
Hey-
I lived in Toronto briefly last year when we were between moves here. I liked it but I found people a bit uptight and it was a little expensive. It is a beautiful city though and more exciting than Ottawa, that's for sure.
I went to Queen's for undergrad and McGill grad.










:

What did you study?


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## ChetMC

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 
Hi Chet- An acquaintance of mine recently moved from Seattle to Philadelphia and was remarking on how much easier it was to meet people in Philly. I also read an article a while back about what an "unfriendly" city Seattle is. It's strange that an entire city can take on such a characteristic. What do you think it is about Seattle that makes it that way?

I really don't know. It's very strange though. DH and I aren't massively outgoing people when it comes to stuff like getting to know neighbours, not like our families who always become good friends with their neighbours anyway. But until now, we had always at least met our neighbours. Our next door neighbours won't acknowledge us.

I also appreciate that we are originally from a place that's known for being over-the-top friendly, so this is an especially big contrast for us. People here actually boggle my mind though. We've travelled a lot, and I've never experienced anything quite like this. Even in the tribal area for Oregon, Washington, Idaho there isn't much activity and people are slow to respond to threads even though there are lots of Seattle/Eastside moms on MDC.


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## JennaW

Hey to all the new people!

Alison- In a nutshell Polan's solution is to buy local and eat whole foods. Get out of the grocery store essentially. Get to the farmer's market. For those who eat meat, buy it direct from the rancher and eat sparingly. Eat seasonally. All the things we know we should do but often don't due to the inconvenience.

Also, I was reading your post about the bris. That is tough.

I think the best way to support our friends when we disagree with them is a combination of honesty and compassion. We should love our friends enough to tell them the truth, in a non-attacking way. And as a friend to another, we should be able to hear our friends "disagreements" with us without putting up defenses. Also, if we have voiced our opinion on the matter once, then we need to let it go or if it is that important, there are some relationships that aren't meant to be.

I don't see any reason we have to be friends with everyone but I do think all people deserve respect in conversation which is lacking in our society. People don't know how to have a real argument and often end up throwing attacks which lead to defensive behavior.

Okay, I gotta go, baby crying.


----------



## BaBaBa

Re: Pollan

His solution works on an individual basis but it doesn't sound like he's thought it through. If everybody did that, yes we'd be healthier, the environment would be better but what would happen to the industry, the jobs?

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for it. I'm just wondering how we would make the shift as a society, an economy. The food industry is massive and employs a lot of people. What happens to them when we all stop buying processed foods?

Re: Disagreements with Friends

It's a toughy. What you describe truly sounds like an art. The art of honesty and compassion practiced by the speaker AND the listener.

Even if I thought I was capable of presenting my belief in such a manner what if the listener couldn't accept it.

You're absolutely right. People don't know how to talk (or listen) to each other.


----------



## JennaW

Alison,

Yes I agree, I think I failed to mention my idea was idealistic, lol. Both sides have to be on the same boat for my idea to really work.

I just think it's unfortunate that so many possible friendships are cut off and even become hostile because of disagreements in beliefs.

Circ is a really hard one. Sometimes I linger on the CAC board and there are many people there that have voiced that they would in no way be friends with anyone who circs. I thought about that for a long time because I have 2 friends who have circ their sons (before I really knew much about circ, I was indifferent at the time these things happened) and I decided that I wouldn't stop being friends with them over it. I would never tell them I support their decision or lie about how I feel about circ but I think there is more to the issue then "you are an evil stupid person and since you are willing to do that to your son we can't be friends". I know a lot of people on MDC will flame me for that but that is just where I am with it right now.


----------



## JennaW

Re: Pollan

Honestly I had major preggo brain while reading it, I need to read it again,


----------



## BaBaBa

Yeah, I know. I was totally indifferent until I researched it during pregnancy.

How's your weekend?


----------



## JennaW

My weekend is good. Just hung around the house yesterday, did chores. I *thought* DD had a yeast rash so I put her in sposies yesterday while I stripped and bleached her dipes. But now I am thinking that it was just some wicked diaper rash that showed up suddenly, maybe caused by build-up or something? Which is weird because I only use Country Save and rinse twice always. Oh well. Since I already bought the sposies I am going to keep her in them until the rash clears, just in case. It is getting better.

Then last night we went to an October Fest party at a friends house. It was a lot of fun and DD actually did really well. There was another Mom there with a one week old! He was so tiny! Reminded me that only 11 weeks ago DD was tiny like that.

I think today we are going to go over to my folks house. I try to spend at least one day there out of the weekend, just to get me out of my tiny house (660 sq feet).

How are things going for you? Did you mention that you have family in town?

How is everyone else doing? I noticed some new Mama's came by, I would love to chat with you all


----------



## BaBaBa

Poor DD! I hope she gets better soon! There's some really good home remedy using egg whites but I can't remember exactly what it is. My mum used it on my brother and I.

I'll be going to Oktoberfest next weekend (which is also our Thanksgiving).

My dad came to visit on Friday but was gone the same day. He only lives an hour away. DH is home probably for a couple of weeks.

I was invited to a local studio tour by some mamas from the local playgroup (one of which I met on MDC) and had a really nice time.

The stork came by our barn last night and there was a baby chick to greet me when I went down.







:


----------



## JennaW

Aww, little baby chick! Yay!

Sorry I didn't stop in yesterday, my sister was over in the morning and DD demanded being attached to the boob all afternoon









Opps, g2g, be back later


----------



## sunnymw

Sneaking in here







I moved to GA in 2005 to marry DH, and don't have any real "deep" friends, just a few acquaintences. One of which I met online (TBW, lol). I got all giggly and excited the other day when a family friend was talking about her niece who BFs for 4-5 years, etc, only to find out she lives in Raleigh







so.... total lack of crunch here lol! And total lack of kid-friendly places to go, too.


----------



## JennaW

Okay, I'm back.

Alison, so nice to have your DH home for a little while! I hope you both get some quality time together and alone!

Sunny, we were in the same DDC, your DS2 is only 6 days older then my DD







I remember looking at pictures from your UC, amazing!

I got DD'd diaper rash cleared up, I don't think it was yeast and I actually think the sposies were prolonging it. I put her back in cloth last night and this morning, no rash, go figure...

Also on the diaper front, I got 24 Fuzzi Bunz seconds in the mail yesterday. So cute! I am stuffing them with green edge prefolds from GMD that DD has outgrown but they make perfect stuffers.

Okay, my dogs are driving me nuts with their barking, errr....Hope everyone has a good day!


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JennaW* 
DD demanded being attached to the boob all afternoon










They do that, don't they

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sunnymw* 
Sneaking in here







I moved to GA in 2005 to marry DH, and don't have any real "deep" friends, just a few acquaintences. One of which I met online (TBW, lol). I got all giggly and excited the other day when a family friend was talking about her niece who BFs for 4-5 years, etc, only to find out she lives in Raleigh







so.... total lack of crunch here lol! And total lack of kid-friendly places to go, too.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JennaW* 
Okay, I'm back.

Sunny, we were in the same DDC, your DS2 is only 6 days older then my DD







I remember looking at pictures from your UC, amazing!

I got DD'd diaper rash cleared up, I don't think it was yeast and I actually think the sposies were prolonging it. I put her back in cloth last night and this morning, no rash, go figure...

Also on the diaper front, I got 24 Fuzzi Bunz seconds in the mail yesterday. So cute! I am stuffing them with green edge prefolds from GMD that DD has outgrown but they make perfect stuffers.

Okay, my dogs are driving me nuts with their barking, errr....Hope everyone has a good day!

And Sunny, your DS is just a couple months older than my DD. If only we could all have a virtual playgroup....

I'm glad the rash is gone. Cloth is great isn't it?

Are the fuzzi bunz good? I remember how overwhelming it was choosing diapers when I was pregnant. I went with some Mother Ease but mostly prefolds with Bummis covers. If I had to do it again I might skip the Bummis and invest in the wool soakers. I have one pair of longies and I love them. I've found the Bummis have lost their waterproof'ness'. We EC a lot and sometimes the prefolds are a pain. If price was no object some sort of all in one pull up would be dreamy but they are so expensive.


----------



## JennaW

We were using mostly prefolds with Bummis Covers also. I also have a dozen One Sized Growing Greens organic cotton fitted diapers from GMD that are mostly for DH.

The Fuzzi Bunz are great. I bought just one (I shouldn't say I bought them, her Grandma bought them) fuzzi bunz at a little baby store in town to try it out. I liked it and thought if I bought a bunch of the seconds I could use my green edge prefolds as stuffers. It has turned out great because the seconds are only $11.95 each. They look great too, many of them I can't even find what is wrong with them. A few of them have a misplaced snap but no biggie. I am lucky my Mom really loves to shop and wants her grand daughter in the cutest things possible, so she treated to these. She actually hates it when I put a prefold on DD, she calls them the "ugly diaper"


----------



## JennaW

Oh, have you tried putting your Bummis in the dryer? I have heard they need to be dried sometimes to re-seal the PUL or something.


----------



## BaBaBa

Oh wow! I had never heard that. I'll have to try.

I think we should rename this thread the JennaW BaBaBa tribe









I checked out your links. BEAUTIFUL! All of you!


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## JennaW

Hey thanks! Hopefully the other Mama's will come back soon, lol.

I'm off to watch the debates!


----------



## SimplyRochelle

Joining in here. Don't really have many friends IRL and have lost too many of the ones I'd had online. I'm friends with my husband most of the time. Right now I'm trying to rekindle a friendship from a few years ago but that may prove to be difficult thanks for my husband being so overly jealous.

Just hoping to get to know a few more people.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JennaW* 
Hey thanks! Hopefully the other Mama's will come back soon, lol.

I'm off to watch the debates!

I listened to them on NPR CNN last night until I fell asleep and missed the end.
Exciting!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SimplyRochelle* 
Joining in here. Don't really have many friends IRL and have lost too many of the ones I'd had online. I'm friends with my husband most of the time. Right now I'm trying to rekindle a friendship from a few years ago but that may prove to be difficult thanks for my husband being so overly jealous.

Just hoping to get to know a few more people.









SimplyRochelle
Come back soon!


----------



## JennaW

Hi Rochelle,

Is your friend male? I was looking at your siggy, that is cool that you are a student midwife. Where do you want to work once you are finished? Home births, birth center, hospital?

I'm sorry for the loss of your baby









Come hang out with us, we are nice.


----------



## JennaW

Alison,

Well as usual I got to watch very little of the debate because it was "unhappy hour". From what I did see I felt like Obama was the stronger of the two but McCain wasn't bad either. However, I have an obvious bias towards Obama, so, you know...









Are the Canadians watching the US presidential race closely?


----------



## BaBaBa

I remember 'unhappy hour'








I don't know why they have such a hard time at night. I tried everything, the sling, bouncing on the yoga ball...it was an exhausting time.

Canadians are really in to the US election. Perhaps even more than into our own election which takes place on Tuesday. I think most of the world is crossing our fingers for Obama


----------



## JennaW

I just checked out your siggy, cute DD, beautiful Mama and a handsome hubby (if I do say so myself). We are a Mac family too


----------



## JennaW

I think part of the reason we have a hard time at night is because DD will only nurse the right side during the day, so by the time 6 pm or so rolls around, the milky train has slowed down plus she is tired because she doesn't like to sleep during the day plus I am trying to wind down the day with getting various domestic tasks done like cooking dinner, putting away a load of laundry, ect..It all just turns into a big crisis, lol.

I am lucky though because she pretty much STTN. I still nurse her every 2-3 hours but there is no production about it.


----------



## BaBaBa

That's so funny that she only likes the right side.
Sounds like you get a lot more done in the day than I did when DD was that age.
Cooking dinner? You're amazing!
Sophie was also pretty much always STTN (except for nursing). The few times that she did wake up were brutal.


----------



## JennaW

Well, if I wanted to eat spaghetti every night I could let DH cook dinner, lol. Tonight we had 17 bean and barley soup.

Man, I hear you on the brutal times when they wake up during the night. When DD would wake up during the night as a newborn it was really hard on me and DH, you just get so frustrated and angry!


----------



## SimplyRochelle

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JennaW* 
Hi Rochelle,

Is your friend male? I was looking at your siggy, that is cool that you are a student midwife. Where do you want to work once you are finished? Home births, birth center, hospital?

I'm sorry for the loss of your baby









Come hang out with us, we are nice.

Thanks for the welcome. The friend is a boy.

I'm not really a student right now. Just quit my correspondence program and I think I'm going to go back to school and get my nursing degree. That way I can offer my clients all the options they could possibly want. Hopefully being able to have hospital privlidges, all the while maybe working with a birth center and being able to offer homebirths too. I want to do it all hah.

Dealing with an existential crisis now and wanting to run far, far away from my life here. DH and I actually spoke tonight about me leaving. I am in the mood for a solo journey. He just isn't sure he'd be here when I got back, not that I blame him. We have a great relationship and I love him very much, I just feel like I'm missing something, a part of myself. I don't want any of the things I wanted a few months ago and don't feel like I'm that person anymore. I spend a lot of my time being so fake and I feel like I've lost myself. My mind is so jumbled, I just want to scream. And now I can't sleep.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JennaW* 
Well, if I wanted to eat spaghetti every night I could let DH cook dinner, lol. Tonight we had 17 bean and barley soup.










I'm not sure i could name 17 types of beans...
I made a glazed carrot soup this week that was so simple and rewarding. There's also a celery root lasagna on the menu this week.







One of my faves!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SimplyRochelle* 
Thanks for the welcome. The friend is a boy.

I'm not really a student right now. Just quit my correspondence program and I think I'm going to go back to school and get my nursing degree. That way I can offer my clients all the options they could possibly want. Hopefully being able to have hospital privlidges, all the while maybe working with a birth center and being able to offer homebirths too. I want to do it all hah.

Dealing with an existential crisis now and wanting to run far, far away from my life here. DH and I actually spoke tonight about me leaving. I am in the mood for a solo journey. He just isn't sure he'd be here when I got back, not that I blame him. We have a great relationship and I love him very much, I just feel like I'm missing something, a part of myself. I don't want any of the things I wanted a few months ago and don't feel like I'm that person anymore. I spend a lot of my time being so fake and I feel like I've lost myself. My mind is so jumbled, I just want to scream. And now I can't sleep.

Male friends are a toughy! (Unless they're gay!







)

Good for you for having the courage to face this crisis. A lot of people would just ignore their feelings out of fear. Do what you have to do. You'll be a better person for it and ultimately a better person for those who you love and love you. You will get through it.


----------



## JennaW

The beans came pre-mixed in a bag. It was tasty







Not my DH's favorite kind of dinner but he still liked it. I think he might be kind of bummed I packed it for his lunch too but oh well. I also put a cheese quesadilla in there for him.

DD was fussy this morning but now she is taking a nice long nap which is very rare! DD must have grown over night, literally! All of her 3 mo and 3-6 mo stuff suddenly doesn't fit! So I had to get the bins out this morning and switch everything around. My child has too many outfits. The Grandmothers can't contain themselves! Save a few newborn things I picked up at a thrift store when I was pregnant, I have never bought DD clothing. Fine with me, I hate clothes shopping









Oh and our dryer broke yesterday. The timer doesn't work AND it won't heat up.







Luckily I think I can still line dry for a couple more weeks but it is going to be difficult. We go through a lot of laundry around here plus CD's, oh well!

We are having salmon, rice and baby green salad for dinner tonight. I'm happy because that is easy to make.

I sent DH an e-mail telling him that tonight when he gets home I'm going for a 30 minute walk by myself. I was feeling kind of bummed this morning and bored with being a Mom. I think it is because I get 0 time just to me. Usually my "me" time is spent doing chores that I am unable to do when taking care of DD. So I am going to nurse DD and then I am going to just take a nice walk to clear my mind. I love DD and I don't want to feel like my time spent with her is burdensome, which to be honest sometimes I feel that way. DD doesn't usually nap for more then 10 minutes so I spend all day feeding, changing, rocking to sleep, entertaining...over and over and over again. It gets kind of exhausting. I'm just rambling here. I guess my point is that I think getting just a small amount of time to myself will help me be a better Mom and help me to enjoy my baby. Not that I don't enjoy her but there are times when I feel strained lately.


----------



## njbeachgirl

HI all







Good to see you here Jenna!

No time to type much right now=crazy toddler, baby going to wake up soon, trying to clean the house. LOL! I am going to come back later though and read through the last couple of pages.

So excited- one of my best friends from HS is getting married this weekend and DH and I will be going up to the wedding (just the reception for a few hours while DHs parents watch the kids!)


----------



## JennaW

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SimplyRochelle* 
Thanks for the welcome. The friend is a boy.

I'm not really a student right now. Just quit my correspondence program and I think I'm going to go back to school and get my nursing degree. That way I can offer my clients all the options they could possibly want. Hopefully being able to have hospital privlidges, all the while maybe working with a birth center and being able to offer homebirths too. I want to do it all hah.

Dealing with an existential crisis now and wanting to run far, far away from my life here. DH and I actually spoke tonight about me leaving. I am in the mood for a solo journey. He just isn't sure he'd be here when I got back, not that I blame him. We have a great relationship and I love him very much, I just feel like I'm missing something, a part of myself. I don't want any of the things I wanted a few months ago and don't feel like I'm that person anymore. I spend a lot of my time being so fake and I feel like I've lost myself. My mind is so jumbled, I just want to scream. And now I can't sleep.









Sounds like there is a lot you need to figure out right now. I agree with Alison, good for you for listening to yourself. Problems that aren't fixed now will come up later.

I think getting a nursing degree is a great idea! My doula for DD's birth was an R.N. and I was very comforted by that.

So as for your life journey right now, do you having any thoughts on where you want to go and what you want to do?


----------



## SimplyRochelle

I've been trying to "fake it til ya make it" and that only works for so long. DH packed up a lot of his stuff today and after making me feel awful and selfish has told me he won't be the one to leave, but that he'd rather drive me away than have me drag out the process and decide to leave him months or years from now. I want to scream.

Thinking about maybe a long train ride. Just go somewhere and back. More for the ride than the destination.

Who knows at this point.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JennaW* 
DD was fussy this morning but now she is taking a nice long nap which is very rare! DD must have grown over night, literally! All of her 3 mo and 3-6 mo stuff suddenly doesn't fit! So I had to get the bins out this morning and switch everything around. My child has too many outfits. The Grandmothers can't contain themselves! Save a few newborn things I picked up at a thrift store when I was pregnant, I have never bought DD clothing. Fine with me, I hate clothes shopping









Oh and our dryer broke yesterday. The timer doesn't work AND it won't heat up.







Luckily I think I can still line dry for a couple more weeks but it is going to be difficult. We go through a lot of laundry around here plus CD's, oh well!

I sent DH an e-mail telling him that tonight when he gets home I'm going for a 30 minute walk by myself. I was feeling kind of bummed this morning and bored with being a Mom. I think it is because I get 0 time just to me. Usually my "me" time is spent doing chores that I am unable to do when taking care of DD. So I am going to nurse DD and then I am going to just take a nice walk to clear my mind. I love DD and I don't want to feel like my time spent with her is burdensome, which to be honest sometimes I feel that way. DD doesn't usually nap for more then 10 minutes so I spend all day feeding, changing, rocking to sleep, entertaining...over and over and over again. It gets kind of exhausting. I'm just rambling here. I guess my point is that I think getting just a small amount of time to myself will help me be a better Mom and help me to enjoy my baby. Not that I don't enjoy her but there are times when I feel strained lately.









They outgrow their clothes really fast at that stage. The good thing about girls is that you can usually get a lot of wear out of dresses. Sophie wore a lot of the same dresses this summer that she wore last summer. It's like the legs grow at an accelerated rate.
I hate clothes shopping too and there's no good shops around here. I get almost everything for her on ebay. There are some really great deals to be found.
I hear you on the laundry...I feel like I do it every day. I DO do it everyday. A lot of people here hang their laundry out even in the winter







: Don't ask me how it dries but it does.
Great idea to go for the walk. Don't make the same mistake I did and wait almost 2 years before you make your needs known. Things around here got a lot better for everyone once I did.
Take some time to rejuvenate yourself









Quote:


Originally Posted by *njbeachgirl* 
HI all







Good to see you here Jenna!

No time to type much right now=crazy toddler, baby going to wake up soon, trying to clean the house. LOL! I am going to come back later though and read through the last couple of pages.

So excited- one of my best friends from HS is getting married this weekend and DH and I will be going up to the wedding (just the reception for a few hours while DHs parents watch the kids!)

What's up nj?
Have a great time at the wedding!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SimplyRochelle* 
I've been trying to "fake it til ya make it" and that only works for so long. DH packed up a lot of his stuff today and after making me feel awful and selfish has told me he won't be the one to leave, but that he'd rather drive me away than have me drag out the process and decide to leave him months or years from now. I want to scream.

Thinking about maybe a long train ride. Just go somewhere and back. More for the ride than the destination.

Who knows at this point.










It's got to be really hard on him too and I think you might need to prepare yourself for that.
Are you still debating whether to go on your trip or not?
Is going somewhere together an option at all?
just lots of hugs for you


----------



## luciiesmommy

Can i join??









I've always been a loner, and what makes it worst is that im single. I live alone with my daughter who is VERY attached to me, and i get frustrated at times. And i feel horrible about it, becuase she seems to be the only one that actually cares about me


----------



## JennaW

Sorry I have been out of touch, just been trying to spend lots of quality time with DH this weekend.

The rash is back again *sigh* I really think it is yeast and don't want to mess around with it anymore so I got the anti-fungal cream. I hope it works. I hate putting DD is sposies, they are ridiculously wasteful.

I think DD might be developing some stranger anxiety early, when we went to my folks house this weekend she would scream her head off if my Mom or Dad tried to hold her or even looked at her for too long. I think my Mom is taking it personally even though she says she is not.

I am excited for this week. DD and I are going to a BFing support walk at the capitol, a LLL meeting and meeting up with friends! I don't think I will be too lonely this week.

Luciiesmommy- welcome! I know that feeling of feeling frustrated at your child's neediness yet knowing that they need to be with you and just trying to tell yourself to be grateful you have a healthy, loving child. It must be so hard being single.







Come hang with us!


----------



## luciiesmommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JennaW* 
Luciiesmommy- welcome! I know that feeling of feeling frustrated at your child's neediness yet knowing that they need to be with you and just trying to tell yourself to be grateful you have a healthy, loving child. It must be so hard being single.







Come hang with us!

aww have fun this week..!!

Thanks for the warm welcome Jenna, my name is Alejandra by the way








I have a 5 year old little girl that the only thing that wants to do is cuddle next to me and i'm thankful for that most of the time, she shows me her love







:
But also, I dont want to transmit my feelings of sadness to her. It breaks my heart when she asks me "Mommy why were you crying last night?" or "You're not lonely mommy you have me, you'll never be lonely!" , i never told her that i'm lonely, she listened to me while i was talking to myself, which is pretty sad, i dont want her to feel bad or anything.


----------



## JennaW

Alejandra, kids can just break your heart sometimes, huh?

When I used to nanny I knew I was going to be giving notice soon but the family didn't know yet and the 6 y/o little girl just came up to me out of the blue and said "Jenna, you're the best home teacher ever! I don't want you to ever leave me!"










Do you have time to go to a playgroup with your DD sometime? It seems like she is at a really good age for that, you know? Have you ever looked at this website www.meetup.com


----------



## rlenk

Hi- I think I've found my tribe. I'm more of a lurker than a poster but can I join anyway?

I'm lonely too. I gave up all of my family and friends when I moved several hours away to my husbands hometown when we got married. 12 years later and I still haven't made any friends. I've never really jived with the area or the people here. I seem to make aquaintances (through work or kids activities ect.) but no friends. To make matters worse my husband and I aren't really getting along and rarley talk or spend time together. He's REALLY attached to his parents. He works for them (long hours 7 days a week at their farm for very little pay)- we live next door to them- our only social outings are to their house for family events,ect He'll drop any time he's spending with me if his family calls because their toilets on the fritz, something's awry at the farm, they need help with landscaping, ect... I'm not sure why he got married in the first place.

I've always been a social loser. I don't know why I tend to keep other people at a social distance. I want to make friends but just don't have the skills.

Thanks for letting me rant. It felt good to put in on paper (or keyboard) if nothing else.


----------



## luciiesmommy

We dont have playgroups here, I live in Mexico but DD goes to kindergarten and to dance and she hangs out with kids there or sometimes she goes to a friends house or some will come to our house.

Hi rlenk!!


----------



## expat-mama

Just dropping in again to say









I guess I may becoming one of those people you were talking about that join and then don't come back







But however much I enjoy reading all the conversation here, I don't feel like I have much to contribute. Feeling like I don't have anything in common with anyone to talk about...at all...again.
I don't have any kids, I live in a weird far away place where my "every day" things no one could really relate to I guess. Anyway... sorry. I'll keep checking in though. I do enjoy lurking, I just wish I had something to say.


----------



## 106657

Hello mamas, How is everyone? Haven't been here in a while. Getting my house ready for winter, trying to sell it too. I don't know about anyone else, but the winter gets tough for me. It's not enough to be alone, but alone and trapped in the house. That's a hard one for me. I need to feel the sun on my face, get out in nature, or I get really down. I would be looking forward to skiing, but hurt my knee. I wonder how many posts I will have come March??


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *luciiesmommy* 
Can i join??



















Quote:


Originally Posted by *JennaW* 
Sorry I have been out of touch, just been trying to spend lots of quality time with DH this weekend.

The rash is back again *sigh* I really think it is yeast and don't want to mess around with it anymore so I got the anti-fungal cream. I hope it works. I hate putting DD is sposies, they are ridiculously wasteful.

I think DD might be developing some stranger anxiety early, when we went to my folks house this weekend she would scream her head off if my Mom or Dad tried to hold her or even looked at her for too long. I think my Mom is taking it personally even though she says she is not.

I am excited for this week. DD and I are going to a BFing support walk at the capitol, a LLL meeting and meeting up with friends! I don't think I will be too lonely this week.

Yay for quality time with DH!
Boo for rashes! I hope the cream works.
Sounds like you have a really fun week planned.







:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *luciiesmommy* 
aww have fun this week..!!

Thanks for the warm welcome Jenna, my name is Alejandra by the way








I have a 5 year old little girl that the only thing that wants to do is cuddle next to me and i'm thankful for that most of the time, she shows me her love







:
But also, I dont want to transmit my feelings of sadness to her. It breaks my heart when she asks me "Mommy why were you crying last night?" or "You're not lonely mommy you have me, you'll never be lonely!" , i never told her that i'm lonely, she listened to me while i was talking to myself, which is pretty sad, i dont want her to feel bad or anything.

Oh boy can I relate to this right now! DD is only two but super high needs. It really makes it hard to cope with no DH around. I had a complete and utter breakdown on Friday (I can't even talk about it right now) and DD said 'Don't make me sad'























Quote:


Originally Posted by *rlenk* 
Hi- I think I've found my tribe. I'm more of a lurker than a poster but can I join anyway?

I'm lonely too. I gave up all of my family and friends when I moved several hours away to my husbands hometown when we got married. 12 years later and I still haven't made any friends. I've never really jived with the area or the people here. I seem to make aquaintances (through work or kids activities ect.) but no friends. To make matters worse my husband and I aren't really getting along and rarley talk or spend time together. He's REALLY attached to his parents. He works for them (long hours 7 days a week at their farm for very little pay)- we live next door to them- our only social outings are to their house for family events,ect He'll drop any time he's spending with me if his family calls because their toilets on the fritz, something's awry at the farm, they need help with landscaping, ect... I'm not sure why he got married in the first place.

I've always been a social loser. I don't know why I tend to keep other people at a social distance. I want to make friends but just don't have the skills.

Thanks for letting me rant. It felt good to put in on paper (or keyboard) if nothing else.









:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 
Just dropping in again to say









I guess I may becoming one of those people you were talking about that join and then don't come back







But however much I enjoy reading all the conversation here, I don't feel like I have much to contribute. Feeling like I don't have anything in common with anyone to talk about...at all...again.
I don't have any kids, I live in a weird far away place where my "every day" things no one could really relate to I guess. Anyway... sorry. I'll keep checking in though. I do enjoy lurking, I just wish I had something to say.









That's cool.
Keep checking in. You'd be surprised at what the rest of us find interesting. I'd love to hear what you eat for breakfast in exotic lands....
I'm just wanting to live vicariously through you. The grass is always greener









Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Hello mamas, How is everyone? Haven't been here in a while. Getting my house ready for winter, trying to sell it too. I don't know about anyone else, but the winter gets tough for me. It's not enough to be alone, but alone and trapped in the house. That's a hard one for me. I need to feel the sun on my face, get out in nature, or I get really down. I would be looking forward to skiing, but hurt my knee. I wonder how many posts I will have come March??

Missed you RV!








Have you tried snowshoeing?


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## momtokea

Hello Fellow Lonely Mammas,

I posted here awhile back and assumed the thread had died,until I came by this evening to see what was up in the tribes, and was pleasantly surprised to find this thread is still going strong.

Still lonely here, although I am breathing a long sigh of relief as I just survived the worst social event of the century -- MIL's surprise 80th birthday party, last night. The entire evening was cruel and unusual punishment -- I spent almost 4 hours in the home of the SIL from H*LL.
I had some fake, superficial conversations with a few of the other guests, occupied myself with my children, and the evening finally came to an end.
It was honestly one of the most difficult evenings of my life.

As far as friendships go, I don't think I really have time for friends. I prefer my invisible online friends anyway. All of my IRL aquaintances are superficial and tiresome, anyway.


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rlenk* 
Hi- I think I've found my tribe. I'm more of a lurker than a poster but can I join anyway?

I'm lonely too. I gave up all of my family and friends when I moved several hours away to my husbands hometown when we got married. 12 years later and I still haven't made any friends. I've never really jived with the area or the people here. I seem to make aquaintances (through work or kids activities ect.) but no friends. To make matters worse my husband and I aren't really getting along and rarley talk or spend time together. He's REALLY attached to his parents. He works for them (long hours 7 days a week at their farm for very little pay)- we live next door to them- our only social outings are to their house for family events,ect He'll drop any time he's spending with me if his family calls because their toilets on the fritz, something's awry at the farm, they need help with landscaping, ect... I'm not sure why he got married in the first place.

I've always been a social loser. I don't know why I tend to keep other people at a social distance. I want to make friends but just don't have the skills.

Thanks for letting me rant. It felt good to put in on paper (or keyboard) if nothing else.

I can relate to the not making any friends that go past the surface. I joined a few committees so I could get out and meet people, but our only interaction is during meetings, or events. Do you think you could plan some trips to catch up with your friends? Even if it's only every other month or so? You're not a loser!


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## 106657

Hey BaBaBa, How are you? I hope things are going better. I have been thinking about you.

Snowshoeing, people tell me it' good, but I haven't tried. Been thinking about it though.


----------



## expat-mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rlenk* 

I've always been a social loser. I don't know why I tend to keep other people at a social distance. I want to make friends but just don't have the skills.

Hi rlenk,
I can relate to these feelings in some ways. I try not to think of myself as a "loser" though and neither should you!
Along with thinking about how I might learn to connect with others, I've also been trying to accept myself more for what I am...not everyone can be a social butterfly! In fact, I always find that the people I _do_ connect with are the ones lurking in the corner of the room...the weirdos, misfits, wallflowers..etc. They're always more interesting and often less superficial (but harder to find and approach







). I like to think of myself that way too.
Maybe we lack certain social skills that everyone seems to think are important, but perhaps we make up for it in other ways that aren't easily detected in a society that generally values extrovert types.
Anyway, welcome! Your farm life sounds awfully nice and quiet to me... I live in city of 14 million with the 2nd highest population density in the world! I could really use some crickets chirping and moon light at night. For now, car horns and fluorescent street lights will have to do...


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *momtokea* 
Hello Fellow Lonely Mammas,

I posted here awhile back and assumed the thread had died,until I came by this evening to see what was up in the tribes, and was pleasantly surprised to find this thread is still going strong.

Still lonely here, although I am breathing a long sigh of relief as I just survived the worst social event of the century -- MIL's surprise 80th birthday party, last night. The entire evening was cruel and unusual punishment -- I spent almost 4 hours in the home of the SIL from H*LL.
I had some fake, superficial conversations with a few of the other guests, occupied myself with my children, and the evening finally came to an end.
It was honestly one of the most difficult evenings of my life.

As far as friendships go, I don't think I really have time for friends. I prefer my invisible online friends anyway. All of my IRL aquaintances are superficial and tiresome, anyway.









:
This thread does have a habit of puttering out. It's an interesting phenomena how people post once and never return







There's a few of us trying to keep it going though.
Sorry to hear about the party. I dread those sorts of events although I really shouldn't. They're all good people I just guess I'm a real homebody.
I'll be your invisible online friend









Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Hey BaBaBa, How are you? I hope things are going better. I have been thinking about you.

Snowshoeing, people tell me it' good, but I haven't tried. Been thinking about it though.

Yeah things are better. DH is gone again and that lets me get centered.

You should look in to snowshoeing. It's relatively inexpensive and easy to learn. It's slow and quite so it's great for observing nature. Don't let it fool you though, it can be quite the cardio vascular work out. I would think it would be okay on the knees.
Too bad we don't live close, we could go out together!
I have found winter to be a real bummer unless you find some way to make the most of it.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 

Maybe we lack certain social skills that everyone seems to think are important, but perhaps we make up for it in other ways that aren't easily detected in a society that generally values extrovert types.
.

This drives me nuts. DH and all his family are extroverts. They all seem to view introverts as flawed or not normal. Introverts are perfectly normal people who have a lot to offer society. They tend to be more pensive, creative, intuitive individuals. When they express concern about DD not being social enough I really get defensive.


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## GooeyRN

Why are we all friendless? I have social anxiety with face to face and phone calls.


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## expat-mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GooeyRN* 
Why are we all friendless? I have social anxiety with face to face and phone calls.

I suffer from this too. It's strange because as I child (elementary school age) I was really outgoing and popular. My mom used to literally have to tell all the neighbourhood kids to go home every day because they wanted to stay and hang out with me. People used to describe me as really funny.







All of that stopped around high school. I guess some people change more than others at that stage.

Now I really HATE the idea of attending social events with big groups of people (the party someone described earlier sounds nightmarish







)- even if I know most of them, but especially if I don't know them. I can do it- I won't have a nervous breakdown or anything, but I feel really unpleasant and spend the whole time having anxious thoughts and looking towards the exit.

I get this way with phone calls too! I'm surprised to hear someone mention that. I think a couple of years ago when I really started being comfortable with my social withdrawal and with everyone emailing so much, I just started to hate talking on the phone. I don't like the idea that anyone can suddenly interrupt my life and I MUST speak to them if I answer the phone. And I've never had caller ID so I also don't like the threat of the unexpected call from someone I really don't want to talk to. I also express myself much better in written form and can put my thoughts together in words on paper (or screen) better than in speech. And the more I get used to communicating in this way, the more awkward it is to do it any other way.


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## Sunflower223

Hey Mamas!

I found this post and decided to drop a line. I may have found my tribe. I am a 25 year old teacher from Alabama. I have two small children and am working on a third. I have a few friends but they are scattered about the country now so we rarely talk. I talk to the women at work but never outside of work.

My husband works out of town a lot and I get so lonely and depressed at times. It would be so nice to have a support group.

I hope to talk to you all more.

Angel


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## GooeyRN

I express myself in writing better, too. I have a lot of internet friends, but making the next step into an actual friendship is difficult. I managed to make one local friend, and another from MDC but she is very busy, so we don't talk much.


----------



## BaBaBa

I loathe the telephone.


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## momtokea

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
I loathe the telephone.

Oh, me too. I always have. Email has made it clear to me how much I hate the phone. I literally get anxiety when I have to call someone. I can call my mother, and I have no problem making a non-personal call (like to my doctors office) but I can't stand making a personal call. My kids aged 10, 9, and 7 are taking after me, they rarely answer the phone, and when they do they act scared of it and totally shy.

I can't help it, I just don't dig the phone.


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## expat-mama

: I'm so happy to hear people express how I feel about talking on the phone! I have always felt like I'm a big freak about this...it's just nice to hear I'm not the only one.


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## 106657

Hi sunflower223.

You know, I am not sure what my problem is. I am just a homebody I guess. I have social issues too, anxiety. This does carry over on the phone for me, but only if I have to make calls. Most of the time I just feel like I don't belong, don't fit in. I have always been the type of person who has to get to know someone before I can open up.


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## Mimi

I am SO joining!
Ever since moving to another country I find it very hard to find friends,
especially because very few of the parents i meet seem to share my views on parenting.
Especially the not hitting your child, don't smoke around them, that really bothers me.
anyway,nice to meet everyone!


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## BaBaBa

Here's my theory on why we don't like the phone.

Introverts tend to be highly observational, intuitive individuals. When we talk to someone we not only listen to their voice but we register their facial expressions, body language etc. Everyone does this, but I think introverts in particular rely more heavily on the more subtle aspects of communication.

Using the telephone removes these vital social cues and leaves us struggling.


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *herewearetogether* 
I am SO joining!
Ever since moving to another country I find it very hard to find friends,
especially because very few of the parents i meet seem to share my views on parenting.
Especially the not hitting your child, don't smoke around them, that really bothers me.
anyway,nice to meet everyone!









That must be tough to move to another country. I moved from Florida to New Hampshire and am having a hard time connecting. I think it's cool though. I wish I could move to another country!!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Here's my theory on why we don't like the phone.

Introverts tend to be highly observational, intuitive individuals. When we talk to someone we not only listen to their voice but we register their facial expressions, body language etc. Everyone does this, but I think introverts in particular rely more heavily on the more subtle aspects of communication.

Using the telephone removes these vital social cues and leaves us struggling.

Right on BaBaBa!!


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *herewearetogether* 
I am SO joining!
Ever since moving to another country I find it very hard to find friends,
especially because very few of the parents i meet seem to share my views on parenting.
Especially the not hitting your child, don't smoke around them, that really bothers me.
anyway,nice to meet everyone!









:

Where are you originally from?

I used to live in Redditch when I was a kid. Have you ever heard of it?

Please, I need your advice on crafts that a two year old can do. (As I type this DD is in a bathtub full of leaves







)

We're TV free too!


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## Mimi

Well, the only people I really talk to are my dh's family . They are great, but I do miss having "real" friends, someone you can just -talk- to, you know?


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sunflower223* 
Hey Mamas!

I found this post and decided to drop a line. I may have found my tribe. I am a 25 year old teacher from Alabama. I have two small children and am working on a third. I have a few friends but they are scattered about the country now so we rarely talk. I talk to the women at work but never outside of work.

My husband works out of town a lot and I get so lonely and depressed at times. It would be so nice to have a support group.

I hope to talk to you all more.

Angel











My DH works out of town too. It's a difficult lifestyle being a single parent some times and having a partner at other times. A very difficult balance.


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## Mimi

I moved from germany,
as homeschoolign / unschooling is illegal there, & my dh is from england,so it was an easy decision to make, really, but i didn't expect this place to be so lonely!
BaBaBa ,I'll send you a PM with lot's of great toddler crafts, & , wow, a bathtub full of leaves sounds like an awful lot of fun, I will do that on the weekend, definitely!!!
( you can look at our blog for a few craft ideas, but i have to admit i'm not very good at updating it...







)


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## BaBaBa

That's terrible that home schooling would be illegal!
I'm sorry you're finding England so lonely. I'm pining a bit right now to be Europe but it probably more an expression of my wanting to run away from it all right now and fear of the impending Canadian winter







:
We were playing outside in the leaves and Sophie was having so much fun we just brought the leaves in to the bath. Now I have a bit of cleaning up to do.


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## 106657

My family is from Germany. My mother's family from Berlin, my father's from the Black Forest Region.

I feel bad for you BaBaBa, the only thing colder than a New Hampshire winter is a Canadian winter.


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## luciiesmommy

Hello..!!
I miss Europe, sometimes i've been thinking to move to Amsterdam again or to Barcelona. I don't know why i had this crazy idea o moving back here, it's horrible...

I work on a highschool and I love my job and I have this student that always come to my office to talk to me about her things, how school is going and things like that. She says that she doesnt really have no one to talk to about her problems at home and that she trusts me aww it's nice, she always makes me laugh with her jokes and the silly things she says









I took my DD to the dentist today, she hated it. She couldnt stop crying


----------



## JennaW

Hi Everybody!

DD has been extra clingy this week, I think she might be teething? It looks like she has two teeth on the top that are moving their way down.

We went to the BFing walk on Wednesday, it was a little it of a bust. I don't know...I did spend some time talking to one Mom from LLL but it seemed like a lot of effort in terms of getting out of the house, driving downtown, finding a parking spot, paying for said parking spot then the payoff of the social aspect. We did get a nice walk around that capitol though









Went to a LLL meeting today, it was great. I really like the Moms there. I gave one Mom my number, hopefully she will call me.

I don't like talking on the phone either. I am not an introvert, actually more of an extrovert but phone conversations just seem awkward to me. I feel like I am always accidently interupting the other person.

Bring leafs inside, what an interesting idea. I used to love jumping in leaf piles as a child.

Alison, do you do homemade paint and play dough? I have found that 2 year olds really like "chase" games and "where did baby go?" games. Like you hold your child under the armpits and hold them out to your side and say "Where is Caroline? Where did she go?" All while moving them all around but not in front of your face, then you bring them to your face "Oh, there she is!". I have also pretended like a child was a load of laundry and made a "washing machine" out of pillows on the couch. Pick up the child "Oh, I guess I have to wash this load of laundry. What a stinky load of laundry! (all while sniffing and pee-youing). Then put them into the pretend washing machine and jiggle them around. Maybe I am weird, I have found that 2 y/o's just love those silly kind of games.

So right now, for the first time ever, DH just took DD to the grocery store so he could pick up 2 things. I wonder how it will go. It was his choice, he asked if he could with her. Maybe he will get a little taste of what I go through every week getting groceries, lol.

Peace Mamas!


----------



## Sunflower223

I also hate the phone. I really don't care to talk on the phone but its mostly because I am so busy with the kids and everything and it's a pain in the butt to walk around with a phone attached to me. I like having free use of both of my hands. lol.

I hated it before I had kids too though..

herewearetogether - that's really crazy that homeschooling is illegal!

So what is everyone up to this weekend?


----------



## luciiesmommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sunflower223* 
herewearetogether - that's really crazy that homeschooling is illegal!

So what is everyone up to this weekend?


Homeschooling is illegal in Mexico too, and i think it is in Spain too

I don't know, some co workers are planning to go to the movies on Saturday, but i don't know if I should go


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
My family is from Germany. My mother's family from Berlin, my father's from the Black Forest Region.

I feel bad for you BaBaBa, the only thing colder than a New Hampshire winter is a Canadian winter.

mmmm... Black Forest Cake







:
Yeah but you're a native Floridian so even opening the freezer door must be tough









Quote:


Originally Posted by *luciiesmommy* 
Hello..!!
I miss Europe, sometimes i've been thinking to move to Amsterdam again or to Barcelona. I don't know why i had this crazy idea o moving back here, it's horrible...

I work on a highschool and I love my job and I have this student that always come to my office to talk to me about her things, how school is going and things like that. She says that she doesnt really have no one to talk to about her problems at home and that she trusts me aww it's nice, she always makes me laugh with her jokes and the silly things she says









I took my DD to the dentist today, she hated it. She couldnt stop crying









You sound really well travelled!
Why is it horrible?

That's really sweet with your student. The relationship between a teacher and student can be a really special thing. I think many of us have memories of that special teacher that we connected with.

The dentist visit sounds like an ordeal...

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JennaW* 
Hi Everybody!

DD has been extra clingy this week, I think she might be teething? It looks like she has two teeth on the top that are moving their way down.

We went to the BFing walk on Wednesday, it was a little it of a bust. I don't know...I did spend some time talking to one Mom from LLL but it seemed like a lot of effort in terms of getting out of the house, driving downtown, finding a parking spot, paying for said parking spot then the payoff of the social aspect. We did get a nice walk around that capitol though









Went to a LLL meeting today, it was great. I really like the Moms there. I gave one Mom my number, hopefully she will call me.

I don't like talking on the phone either. I am not an introvert, actually more of an extrovert but phone conversations just seem awkward to me. I feel like I am always accidently interupting the other person.

Bring leafs inside, what an interesting idea. I used to love jumping in leaf piles as a child.

Alison, do you do homemade paint and play dough? I have found that 2 year olds really like "chase" games and "where did baby go?" games. Like you hold your child under the armpits and hold them out to your side and say "Where is Caroline? Where did she go?" All while moving them all around but not in front of your face, then you bring them to your face "Oh, there she is!". I have also pretended like a child was a load of laundry and made a "washing machine" out of pillows on the couch. Pick up the child "Oh, I guess I have to wash this load of laundry. What a stinky load of laundry! (all while sniffing and pee-youing). Then put them into the pretend washing machine and jiggle them around. Maybe I am weird, I have found that 2 y/o's just love those silly kind of games.

So right now, for the first time ever, DH just took DD to the grocery store so he could pick up 2 things. I wonder how it will go. It was his choice, he asked if he could with her. Maybe he will get a little taste of what I go through every week getting groceries, lol.

Peace Mamas!

Hi J! Missed you!








Poor DD and poor you! Sophie's been super clingy this week. I didn't think a 2 YO could nurse so much! I've only been able to do a few things.

Sorry the walk was a bust







I can relate about the hassle. I am often inclined to just stay at home. It's probably not the best attitude but









Do tell about the homemade paint! Is play doh safe? I know it's 'non toxic' I don't know why I have an aversion to it. We're pretty much wood/natural toys around here (except for the stuff others give us). Maybe I should get some ...

Those games sound fun. She likes to play our 'Smelly Foot' game







I'm just in a bit of a rut I guess.

YAY for DH taking DD shopping! I refused to go shopping alone with DD pretty much for the first year.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sunflower223* 
I also hate the phone. I really don't care to talk on the phone but its mostly because I am so busy with the kids and everything and it's a pain in the butt to walk around with a phone attached to me. I like having free use of both of my hands. lol.

I hated it before I had kids too though..

herewearetogether - that's really crazy that homeschooling is illegal!

So what is everyone up to this weekend?

I almost always use the phone on hands free mode. Maybe that's kinda rude...I feel like my hearing in my ear phone is not the best.

No exciting weekend planned here. DH isn't coming home this weekend but my Dad will come for a visit on Sunday.


----------



## luciiesmommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
You sound really well travelled!
Why is it horrible?

That's really sweet with your student. The relationship between a teacher and student can be a really special thing. I think many of us have memories of that special teacher that we connected with.

The dentist visit sounds like an ordeal...

Well you can say I am, I was born in Mexico and lived there until I was 5, then I was adopted by my aunt and uncle when my grandparents(they where my caregivers) died. My aunt is Dutch and my uncle is Spaniard(as the rest of my maternal family). So they lived in Barcelona and I spent my childhood there until I was 15 and we moved to Amsterdam and you know all that long story..
I don't know, I just dont like it, but I love my job here and my daughter seems comfortable in school, so that's why i'm staying. One of my students told me "Miss don't quit, or wait until we graduate"









By the way i'm not a teacher i'm a how can you call it? we call it "grade coordinator", i give them passes, i'm encharge of the teachers of the classrooms they assign to me and the parents meet me first instead of the teachers, etc. But this student, ever since we started the school year(she's in 1st semester), she always come to me and like to talk, which is great, it's her and her friends, but i mostly talk to her.

I went to the movies with some of my co workers, their kids and my DD, it was fun and I had a good time and DD did too...


----------



## A&A

I think I belong here. Just saying hi!!


----------



## Mimi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sunflower223* 
I also hate the phone. I really don't care to talk on the phone but its mostly because I am so busy with the kids and everything and it's a pain in the butt to walk around with a phone attached to me. I like having free use of both of my hands. lol.

I hated it before I had kids too though..

herewearetogether - that's really crazy that homeschooling is illegal!

So what is everyone up to this weekend?


yeah, i heard it's because hitler wanted the kids to go to school so he can teach them his believes, i'm not sure how true that is.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *A&A* 
I think I belong here. Just saying hi!!











it's so cold this morning







:
But I'm wearing my fave sweats so everything's going to be okay


----------



## 106657

It was cold here this morning too, but it is warming up nicely! I am thinking about going to the bookstore today. I just need to do something besides clean! Have any plans for the weekend anyone? I hope you all enjoy it!


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
It was cold here this morning too, but it is warming up nicely! I am thinking about going to the bookstore today. I just need to do something besides clean! Have any plans for the weekend anyone? I hope you all enjoy it!

It is a beautiful fall day here.
The bookstore is a wonderful place to spend a Saturday afternoon







Let us know what you buy. The cleaning can wait or better yet...get the kids to do it


----------



## Mimi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
The cleaning can wait or better yet...get the kids to do it










At what age do they start doing that,then? 
Mine tries to help but really makes it worse


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
It is a beautiful fall day here.
The bookstore is a wonderful place to spend a Saturday afternoon







Let us know what you buy. The cleaning can wait or better yet...get the kids to do it









I love the bookstore. I spend too much money though. I bought The Earth Path, by StarHawk, and The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle. Along with a few books for the kids.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *herewearetogether* 
At what age do they start doing that,then? 
Mine tries to help but really makes it worse









laughup
Yeah mine too! but she's coming along well at giving mama a foot rub before bed!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
I love the bookstore. I spend too much money though. I bought The Earth Path, by StarHawk, and The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle. Along with a few books for the kids.

Do you read a lot? I buy all my books from amazon just because there aren't any bookstores out here.
Are you on goodreads?
http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/1503712
I discovered this on MDC. There's even a MDC book club.
Add me as a friend if you like.


----------



## Shane

Can I join? I think I would fit in. I have 2 good friends, neither one live close to me. I'm real outgoing and try to make friends but no one seems to reciprocate. Maybe there is something wrong with me. I don't know. I do know that since having babies I keep so busy that I don't think I have much time for much else than mothering. I have a 2 yr old DD and 3 yr old DS. We had to get rid of my car, so that limits my ability to hang out with people. I was attending a ladies bible study and really beginning to become good friends with the ladies, but since we got rid of the car I can't go anymore. But I can still email and call them and I think if I just put a little effort in, maybe they'll be friends afterall. Maybe I can start a new Bible study at my house? Anyway, I'd like to hang around here if you guys will let me.


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

I feel like I could be a fit here too. I moved back to my home province 4 months ago almost to be near family and get some good support. Well I was recently burned by a cousin who was given up for adoption at birth and had only just found my family a little over a year ago and then she found me 6 months ago. Long story short she turned out to be really crazy and somehow got in her head she would be adopting my son( through no fault of mine because I never lead her to believe that she would be) and when I finally put my foot down and told her to stop calling she threatened to call children's services everyday until my child is taken from me. I had one friend that I have had since I was 4 so a little over 20 years now but I decided to cut contact with her because she started talking to my crazy cousin the day we stopped talking and the cousin threatened to call children's services. And I have asked my friend to stop talking to her as I don't feel comfortable that she's not going to be giving my cousin info and the less my cousin knows the better. Well my friend won't stop talking to her so I guess being friends with my cousin is more important than a 20 year friendship. Well anyways I now have one friend in the area I live in and I am dating him. All my family lives 45 mins away from me and in order to see them I have to take the bus or they have to come here which doesn't happen very often so I am stuck a single mom with no friends in a city that I am not really familiar with. If that makes sense. So I feel like this could be a supportive thread.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shane* 
Can I join? I think I would fit in. I have 2 good friends, neither one live close to me. I'm real outgoing and try to make friends but no one seems to reciprocate. Maybe there is something wrong with me. I don't know. I do know that since having babies I keep so busy that I don't think I have much time for much else than mothering. I have a 2 yr old DD and 3 yr old DS. We had to get rid of my car, so that limits my ability to hang out with people. I was attending a ladies bible study and really beginning to become good friends with the ladies, but since we got rid of the car I can't go anymore. But I can still email and call them and I think if I just put a little effort in, maybe they'll be friends afterall. Maybe I can start a new Bible study at my house? Anyway, I'd like to hang around here if you guys will let me.
























You can be our Georgia peach!


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corbynsmama* 
I feel like I could be a fit here too. I moved back to my home province 4 months ago almost to be near family and get some good support. Well I was recently burned by a cousin who was given up for adoption at birth and had only just found my family a little over a year ago and then she found me 6 months ago. Long story short she turned out to be really crazy and somehow got in her head she would be adopting my son( through no fault of mine because I never lead her to believe that she would be) and when I finally put my foot down and told her to stop calling she threatened to call children's services everyday until my child is taken from me. I had one friend that I have had since I was 4 so a little over 20 years now but I decided to cut contact with her because she started talking to my crazy cousin the day we stopped talking and the cousin threatened to call children's services. And I have asked my friend to stop talking to her as I don't feel comfortable that she's not going to be giving my cousin info and the less my cousin knows the better. Well my friend won't stop talking to her so I guess being friends with my cousin is more important than a 20 year friendship. Well anyways I now have one friend in the area I live in and I am dating him. All my family lives 45 mins away from me and in order to see them I have to take the bus or they have to come here which doesn't happen very often so I am stuck a single mom with no friends in a city that I am not really familiar with. If that makes sense. So I feel like this could be a supportive thread.

Oh mama!








what a terrible situation!
Your biological cousin sounds scary! Is a restraining order a possibility? Or I guess it isn't (sadly) until she actually breaks the law....
Well, we're here for you


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Do you read a lot? I buy all my books from amazon just because there aren't any bookstores out here.
Are you on goodreads?
http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/1503712
I discovered this on MDC. There's even a MDC book club.
Add me as a friend if you like.

I love to read. There aren't any bookstores close, but I am one of those people who love to make a day out of the bookstore. I like to feel the books. I am usually reading a few at a time. I haven't seen goodreads, but I am going to check it out. I will try for this week, but I have a bunch of things to do. DH and I are taking a road trip to pick up a new puppy.


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shane* 
Can I join? I think I would fit in. I have 2 good friends, neither one live close to me. I'm real outgoing and try to make friends but no one seems to reciprocate. Maybe there is something wrong with me. I don't know. I do know that since having babies I keep so busy that I don't think I have much time for much else than mothering. I have a 2 yr old DD and 3 yr old DS. We had to get rid of my car, so that limits my ability to hang out with people. I was attending a ladies bible study and really beginning to become good friends with the ladies, but since we got rid of the car I can't go anymore. But I can still email and call them and I think if I just put a little effort in, maybe they'll be friends afterall. Maybe I can start a new Bible study at my house? Anyway, I'd like to hang around here if you guys will let me.

No need to ask, all are welcome.







:


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corbynsmama* 
I feel like I could be a fit here too. I moved back to my home province 4 months ago almost to be near family and get some good support. Well I was recently burned by a cousin who was given up for adoption at birth and had only just found my family a little over a year ago and then she found me 6 months ago. Long story short she turned out to be really crazy and somehow got in her head she would be adopting my son( through no fault of mine because I never lead her to believe that she would be) and when I finally put my foot down and told her to stop calling she threatened to call children's services everyday until my child is taken from me. I had one friend that I have had since I was 4 so a little over 20 years now but I decided to cut contact with her because she started talking to my crazy cousin the day we stopped talking and the cousin threatened to call children's services. And I have asked my friend to stop talking to her as I don't feel comfortable that she's not going to be giving my cousin info and the less my cousin knows the better. Well my friend won't stop talking to her so I guess being friends with my cousin is more important than a 20 year friendship. Well anyways I now have one friend in the area I live in and I am dating him. All my family lives 45 mins away from me and in order to see them I have to take the bus or they have to come here which doesn't happen very often so I am stuck a single mom with no friends in a city that I am not really familiar with. If that makes sense. So I feel like this could be a supportive thread.









what a terrible situation. I hope your friend finds out quickly what your cousin is all about.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
I love to read. There aren't any bookstores close, but I am one of those people who love to make a day out of the bookstore. I like to feel the books. I am usually reading a few at a time. I haven't seen goodreads, but I am going to check it out. I will try for this week, but I have a bunch of things to do. DH and I are taking a road trip to pick up a new puppy.

Right now I'm reading a collection of Tobias Wolff short stories and Open Secrets by Alice Munro.

Road trips can be so much fun. Pup will be good company for the new kittens. What kind of puppy?


----------



## Shane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corbynsmama* 
I feel like I could be a fit here too. I moved back to my home province 4 months ago almost to be near family and get some good support. Well I was recently burned by a cousin who was given up for adoption at birth and had only just found my family a little over a year ago and then she found me 6 months ago. Long story short she turned out to be really crazy and somehow got in her head she would be adopting my son( through no fault of mine because I never lead her to believe that she would be) and when I finally put my foot down and told her to stop calling she threatened to call children's services everyday until my child is taken from me. I had one friend that I have had since I was 4 so a little over 20 years now but I decided to cut contact with her because she started talking to my crazy cousin the day we stopped talking and the cousin threatened to call children's services. And I have asked my friend to stop talking to her as I don't feel comfortable that she's not going to be giving my cousin info and the less my cousin knows the better. Well my friend won't stop talking to her so I guess being friends with my cousin is more important than a 20 year friendship. Well anyways I now have one friend in the area I live in and I am dating him. All my family lives 45 mins away from me and in order to see them I have to take the bus or they have to come here which doesn't happen very often so I am stuck a single mom with no friends in a city that I am not really familiar with. If that makes sense. So I feel like this could be a supportive thread.

Wow! I wish I could give you a big hug, right now.


----------



## Shane

Thanks for welcoming me, ladies.


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Right now I'm reading a collection of Tobias Wolff short stories and Open Secrets by Alice Munro.

Road trips can be so much fun. Pup will be good company for the new kittens. What kind of puppy?

I am going to check out what you're reading. I like getting to read new authors.

The puppy is a Swedish Valhund. We have to drive to Michigan, way up by the lake. I think it's 17 hrs one way.


----------



## 106657

Hi Shane, anything going on today? We are supposed to get snow tonight. Crazy..


----------



## Shane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Hi Shane, anything going on today? We are supposed to get snow tonight. Crazy..

What? I haven't even looked at a forecast today. I just saw 70's later this week and am counting the days. I am such a summer child and winter wimp.

I'm just trying to get over a cold right now so I can go biking before it gets too cold. Darn Tylenol multi-symptom cold Severe isn't working. perhaps because I have only one of the symptoms listed. I'm also very wimpy when it comes to stuffy/runny noses. What's going on with you?


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
I am going to check out what you're reading. I like getting to read new authors.

The Tobias Wolff is so -so. i highly recommend anything by Alice Munro. she's one of my favourite authors.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 

The puppy is a Swedish Valhund. We have to drive to Michigan, way up by the lake. I think it's 17 hrs one way.

That's an unusual breed. I'm not familiar with it. I'll have to google it.

so, is your fireplace going? We're getting another woodstove put in this week so maybe the bedroom won't be so cold at night.


----------



## 106657

Not a dang thing. Sitting here instead of doing laundry. Sometimes I miss the good old Florida weather I grew up in, but the cold here is different than in the south. It's a lot drier, so 40 in the sun feels fine. It's when it's raining and cold I hate, goes to the bone!

Sorry about the cold, hate them. When I feel one coming on I drink tons of emergen-C, taste like crap, unless you put it in juice, but makes me feel better.


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
so, is your fireplace going? We're getting another woodstove put in this week so maybe the bedroom won't be so cold at night.

Not yet, will be tonight. We got this new heater for our basement, it is fantastic! I found it in the back of mother earth news..keeps my basement at 70 and the thing never gets hot.


----------



## 106657

Well, I think it's about time I feed the piggies lunch. This time of year they just eat, sleep and poop! Hope you all have a great day! I will catch you later.


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

Thanks for the warm welcome ladies. And thanks for the hugs. I could use them. Thankfully my guy is coming to visit tonight because I have felt lonely lately. And I got a call from my aunties and they are coming into the city today so I get to see them today too.


----------



## Shane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Not a dang thing. Sitting here instead of doing laundry. Sometimes I miss the good old Florida weather I grew up in, but the cold here is different than in the south. It's a lot drier, so 40 in the sun feels fine. It's when it's raining and cold I hate, goes to the bone!

Sorry about the cold, hate them. When I feel one coming on I drink tons of emergen-C, taste like crap, unless you put it in juice, but makes me feel better.

I lived in NY and Mass for a couple of years. When I came back to Ga the first year I was much tougher. After one summer though I was back to being a big ole sissy when it comes to cold weather. Where are you?


----------



## Shane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corbynsmama* 
Thanks for the warm welcome ladies. And thanks for the hugs. I could use them. Thankfully my guy is coming to visit tonight because I have felt lonely lately. And I got a call from my aunties and they are coming into the city today so I get to see them today too.

Have a good visit. I hate not being close to family, now. I was all about traveling and seeing the world, when I was single. Now that I've got babies I miss being close to family and all that I grew up with. Give your Aunties a lot of hugs to hold you over till next time.


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

The next time I see my aunties will probably be at christmas. Its really hard not being around my family because when I was growing up we were really close knit and then my parents moved west and I didn't get to see them for a long time. And that's alot of the reason I moved back here to New Brunswick because I was homesick and I missed my family


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shane* 
I lived in NY and Mass for a couple of years. When I came back to Ga the first year I was much tougher. After one summer though I was back to being a big ole sissy when it comes to cold weather. Where are you?

New Hampshire. I just went out to the wood pile, getting ready for tonight and tomorrow.


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corbynsmama* 
The next time I see my aunties will probably be at christmas. Its really hard not being around my family because when I was growing up we were really close knit and then my parents moved west and I didn't get to see them for a long time. And that's alot of the reason I moved back here to New Brunswick because I was homesick and I missed my family

I can relate to wanting to be close to family. My DH's family all live in Mass., and half of my family lives in Conn. We still don't see them that often though since we are 3 hours away. Plus since I am the only SAHM in the family, it's always up to me to drive there.


----------



## Shane

I love New Hampshire. I got a cool pendant from an artist who makes Jewlery in downtown Portsmouth. It was a push present from Dh, a mother and baby goose or duck. I think Portsmouth is so romantic. Anyway, even though I'm not fond of cold air. I do wish we still lived up north in the winters. I love love love snow. It's so fun to play in so I was never cold when I was playing outside or shovelling. And I really like the way the sun bounces off of it and brightens everything up so much. I would get so excited when we'd get like 2 feet of lake effect snow. I couldn't wait so see the dogs try to run through it. I always said my perfect living arrangements would be to have a house New England for the winter and a house in the South for the summer. Everybody thinks I'm backwards, but being in Ga when it's just cold and no snow is blah! I hope you get to go sledding tomorrow.


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

I had a great visit with my auntie's they are such a joy to be around and they made me feel so much better I'm really excited to go visit for christmas because I really do miss them and I enjoy being around them and they will have a new baby to admire this christmas so that's exciting too.


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corbynsmama* 
I had a great visit with my auntie's they are such a joy to be around and they made me feel so much better I'm really excited to go visit for christmas because I really do miss them and I enjoy being around them and they will have a new baby to admire this christmas so that's exciting too.

How nice to have such a good visit. I am glad they made you feel better.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shane* 
I love New Hampshire. I got a cool pendant from an artist who makes Jewlery in downtown Portsmouth. It was a push present from Dh, a mother and baby goose or duck. I think Portsmouth is so romantic. Anyway, even though I'm not fond of cold air. I do wish we still lived up north in the winters. I love love love snow. It's so fun to play in so I was never cold when I was playing outside or shovelling. And I really like the way the sun bounces off of it and brightens everything up so much. I would get so excited when we'd get like 2 feet of lake effect snow. I couldn't wait so see the dogs try to run through it. I always said my perfect living arrangements would be to have a house New England for the winter and a house in the South for the summer. Everybody thinks I'm backwards, but being in Ga when it's just cold and no snow is blah! I hope you get to go sledding tomorrow.

I like the snow too, though it can be around quite a bit here. I live by Lake Sunapee, which is more towards the west side. I like the change of seasons, although sometimes I am not ready for them. As I look outside, here comes the rain and it's 52. I am going to light a fire!


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

They even bought me a baby carrier for the baby so I can carry him around every where and be hands free... I was stoked about that


----------



## BaBaBa

I missed all the chatter today









Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shane* 
I love New Hampshire. I got a cool pendant from an artist who makes Jewlery in downtown Portsmouth. It was a push present from Dh, a mother and baby goose or duck. I think Portsmouth is so romantic. Anyway, even though I'm not fond of cold air. I do wish we still lived up north in the winters. I love love love snow. It's so fun to play in so I was never cold when I was playing outside or shovelling. And I really like the way the sun bounces off of it and brightens everything up so much. I would get so excited when we'd get like 2 feet of lake effect snow. I couldn't wait so see the dogs try to run through it. I always said my perfect living arrangements would be to have a house New England for the winter and a house in the South for the summer. Everybody thinks I'm backwards, but being in Ga when it's just cold and no snow is blah! I hope you get to go sledding tomorrow.

let's house swap... I'm dreading winter







:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corbynsmama* 
I had a great visit with my auntie's they are such a joy to be around and they made me feel so much better I'm really excited to go visit for christmas because I really do miss them and I enjoy being around them and they will have a new baby to admire this christmas so that's exciting too.

I'm so envious. I wish I had family like that!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corbynsmama* 
They even bought me a baby carrier for the baby so I can carry him around every where and be hands free... I was stoked about that

Cool! What kind?


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 

Cool! What kind?

And infantino easy rider forward and backward facing one. I am super excited because I wanted to be able to carry the baby around alot and give him lots of mama interaction and I walk everywhere so its helpful for that too..

On the other hand I had a very scary thing happen tonight. I had to go to the hospital because baby wasn't moving very much at all today unless I agrivated him too by shaking my belly or pushing in on it. And usually corbyn is active and so I get to the hospital and he had a heart beat THANK GOD but they told me from what they can tell he is sluggish and lethargic so now I have to go non-stress test daily till he either comes or they induce me.


----------



## expat-mama

I've experienced winters in Southern Ontario, and Vancouver, Canada and winters in New England (Mass and NH). I absolutely LOVED New England winters. You get all the crisp clear weather, then beautiful snow and enjoyable winter activities and then...it's over. We get that in Canada but then...it gets brutally cold and lasts FOREVER. It gets to the point where it feels like spring will never come and I find it really depressing.
In Vancouver the winter was short, cold, rainy and GREEN- which I liked. It was such a nice change from the white and grey and brown of Ontario in winter.
I can't wait to get back- winter's here are crappy- not cold enough for lots of beautiful snow, but cold enough to look all grey and dreary- especially in a crowded cement city. They're pretty short though.


----------



## 106657

Morning ladies.


----------



## 106657

expat-mama, how long until you get back?


----------



## expat-mama

We are heading back to Canada at the end of February!







:
I have loved traveling and appreciate the experience of living abroad, but where we are living now, I just can't stand it. Life is too short to be in a place that sucks the joy right out of you...which is how I feel most days here!
So we are moving back to Canada in Feb., and after bumming around with family in Ontario, will hopefully be moving out to BC.
I think eventually we'll get back "out in the world" again, because we love it, but dh and feel the need to rest our bones and "settle" a while.

It's so nice to hear about New England in everyone's posts.







I miss Boston more than any place I've ever lived! I just loved it there- the people are great, and the North East is just so beautiful. I had a so many great experiences growing up in Cambridge- I remember it as so vibrant and with such an interesting atmosphere. I like college towns.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corbynsmama* 
And infantino easy rider forward and backward facing one. I am super excited because I wanted to be able to carry the baby around alot and give him lots of mama interaction and I walk everywhere so its helpful for that too..

On the other hand I had a very scary thing happen tonight. I had to go to the hospital because baby wasn't moving very much at all today unless I agrivated him too by shaking my belly or pushing in on it. And usually corbyn is active and so I get to the hospital and he had a heart beat THANK GOD but they told me from what they can tell he is sluggish and lethargic so now I have to go non-stress test daily till he either comes or they induce me.

baby wearing is the greatest and carriers are addictive....I have 5 different ones









That's scary! I had a scary incident when I was about 5 months preg. The doctors could find anything wrong...but I was shaken up all the same. (I think I ate too many cherrries














)







: for the stress test

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 
So we are moving back to Canada in Feb., and after bumming around with family in Ontario, will hopefully be moving out to BC.
.

Hey, if you ever make any road trips into south central Ontario, swing by my place.

Seriously...


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
baby wearing is the greatest and carriers are addictive....I have 5 different ones









That's scary! I had a scary incident when I was about 5 months preg. The doctors could find anything wrong...but I was shaken up all the same. (I think I ate too many cherrries














)







: for the stress test











Yeah it was pretty scary and I am excited to be able to carry corbyn around. And I am glad it wasn't anything too serious that was wrong


----------



## Shane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corbynsmama* 
They even bought me a baby carrier for the baby so I can carry him around every where and be hands free... I was stoked about that

I'm glad everything is ok, regarding last night's episode.
You're gonna love babywearing. It's addictive.


----------



## Shane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
I missed all the chatter today









let's house swap... I'm dreading winter







:


I'd love to.


----------



## Shane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
How nice to have such a good visit. I am glad they made you feel better.

I like the snow too, though it can be around quite a bit here. I live by Lake Sunapee, which is more towards the west side. I like the change of seasons, although sometimes I am not ready for them. As I look outside, here comes the rain and it's 52. I am going to light a fire!

I saw the weather report. Too warm for the snow to stick around. It'll be there soon enough. We lived by Lake George in NY. In Mass we lived in Springfield.


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shane* 
I'm glad everything is ok, regarding last night's episode.
You're gonna love babywearing. It's addictive.


I'm glad too... It was so scary though


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 
We are heading back to Canada at the end of February!







:

Hurry February.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shane* 
I saw the weather report. Too warm for the snow to stick around. It'll be there soon enough. We lived by Lake George in NY. In Mass we lived in Springfield.

My DH is from Springfield/Wilbraham (not sure of spelling)


----------



## BaBaBa

What's everyone up to today?
We're getting another wood stove in so we won't be so







: in half of the house.


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

I haven't even had to turn my heat on even though its cold here. My house is like an oven. I am eating lunch and lazing around getting prepared for an upcoming birth


----------



## 106657

I am getting ready for a road trip to Michigan. Going there to pick up a new puppy.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corbynsmama* 
I haven't even had to turn my heat on even though its cold here. My house is like an oven. I am eating lunch and lazing around getting prepared for an upcoming birth

Care to hare your birth plan? Ignore me if that's an inappropriate question. I'm clueless.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
I am getting ready for a road trip to Michigan. Going there to pick up a new puppy.

So I guess we won't see you in a while...









Well,







: have a safe trip with lots of fun along the way!

The guys putting in the stove are asking me all kinds of questions that I don't know the answer to. This is DH's department. I'm scared to tell them what to do because I just know I'll tell them the exact opposite of what DH would want.








Glad he's coming home soon.


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Care to hare your birth plan? Ignore me if that's an inappropriate question. I'm clueless.

For sure I can share. Here it is:

My wishes for Childbirth - Krystal Ann McAllister
Due Date: 11/16/2008
Patient of Dr. Mills
Scheduled to deliver at Dr. Everett Chalmers Regional Hospital

09/17/2008
To whom it may concern

I would like my labour to be as medically intervention free as possible. In the event of an emergency is the only time I will agree to altering this plan to accomodate the hospital staff in helping me and my baby have a healthy medical intervention pregnancy

Sincerely,
Krystal McAllister

LABOR
I would prefer to avoid an enema and/or shaving of pubic hair. (Note - this is no longer standard procedure at many hospitals.)
I would like to be free to walk around during labor.
I wish to be able to move around and change position at will throughout labor.
I would like to be able to have fluids by mouth throughout the first stage of labor.
I would like the lights in the room to be kept low during my labor.
I would prefer to keep the number of vaginal exams to a minimum.

MONITORING
I do not wish to have continuous fetal monitoring unless it is required by the condition of the baby.
I do not want an internal monitor unless the baby has shown some sign of distress.

ANESTHESIA/PAIN MEDICATION
I realize that many pain medications exist I'll ask for them if I need them.

CESAREAN
Unless absolutely necessary, I would like to avoid a Cesarean.
If my primary care provider determines that a Cesarean delivery is indicated, I would like to obtain a second opinion from another physician if time allows.
If a Cesarean delivery is indicated, I would like to be fully informed and to participate in the decision-making process.
I would like Andrew Davidson present at all times if the baby requires a Cesarean delivery.
If the baby is not in distress, the baby should be given to Andrew Davidson immediately after birth.
I would like to be put to sleep and avoid an epidural or spinal block due to my fear of needles and back issues
I would like Andrew davidson to accompany me in the operating room while I am having the c-section

EPISIOTOMY
I am hoping to protect the perineum. I am practicing ahead of time by squatting, doing Kegel exercises, and perineal massage.
I would like a local anesthetic to repair a tear or an episiotomy.
I would prefer to tear rather than have an episiotomy

DELIVERY
I would like to be allowed to choose the position in which I give birth, including squatting.
I would like nurses to support me and my legs as necessary during the pushing stage.
I would like a mirror available so I can see the baby's head when it crowns.
Even if I am fully dilated, and assuming the baby is not in distress, I would like to try to wait until I feel the urge to push before beginning the pushing phase.
I would appreciate having the room lights turned low for the actual delivery.
I would appreciate having the room as quiet as possible when the baby is born.
I would like to have the baby placed on my stomach/chest immediately after delivery.

IMMEDIATELY AFTER DELIVERY
I would prefer that the umbilical cord stop pulsating before it is cut.
I would like to hold the baby while I deliver the placenta and any tissue repairs are made.
I would like to hold the baby for at least fifteen minutes before (he/she) is photographed, examined, etc.
If the baby must be taken from me to receive medical treatment, Andrew Davidson or some other person I designate will accompany the baby at all times.
I do not want a routine injection of pitocin after the delivery to aid in expelling the placenta.

POSTPARTUM
I would like a private room, if available.
Unless required for health reasons, I do not wish to be separated from my baby.
I would like to have the baby "room in" and be with me at all times.

BREASTFEEDING
I plan to breastfeed the baby and would like to begin nursing very shortly after birth.
Unless medically necessary, I do not wish to have any bottles given to the baby (including glucose water or plain water).
I do not want the baby to be given a pacifier.

PHOTO/VIDEO
I would like to take still photographs during labor and the birth.

OTHER
My support people are Andrew Davidson and I would like them to be present during labor and/or delivery.


----------



## Shane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
I am getting ready for a road trip to Michigan. Going there to pick up a new puppy.

What kind! Post pics!
Be careful on your trip.


----------



## expat-mama

Very nice birth plan Corbyn's mama!







I hope to have something very similar when the time comes!
...if it EVER comes...







:

Good luck!

Oh- I spent a summer in Fredericton when I was in high school- my sister was living there and going to UNB. It's a beautiful place!


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 
Very nice birth plan Corbyn's mama!







I hope to have something very similar when the time comes!
...if it EVER comes...







:

Good luck!

Oh- I spent a summer in Fredericton when I was in high school- my sister was living there and going to UNB. It's a beautiful place!

Thank you. I believe in having things well planned out so that there are no questions when the time comes. And yes it is a very beautiful place here. I love being back. New Brunswick is just beautiful all around. I plan on attending STU next fall for criminology


----------



## Shane

That's an awesome plan. I did something very similar with my first and it was like I never gave my midwives anything at all. I lived in Mass. and had to go to a midwife practice with like 10 midwives there. You got whoever was on call that day. Of course the person I had had no clue about anything that was in my file. Nice as could be, but the whole experience was disappointing because I was in too much pain to talk or think about anything that I had written down.


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shane* 
That's an awesome plan. I did something very similar with my first and it was like I never gave my midwives anything at all. I lived in Mass. and had to go to a midwife practice with like 10 midwives there. You got whoever was on call that day. Of course the person I had had no clue about anything that was in my file. Nice as could be, but the whole experience was disappointing because I was in too much pain to talk or think about anything that I had written down.

I also go to a shared practice so I bring a copy of my birth plan so that all the doctor's know my wishes. The Hospital also has a copy so there is no DOUBTs in anyone's mind.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corbynsmama* 

ANESTHESIA/PAIN MEDICATION
I realize that many pain medications exist I'll ask for them if I need them.


CM: That's a great plan, really well thought out. Have you discussed it with your doctor?

A word of caution about the pain meds....you may very likely ask for them even if you are determined to have a pain med free birth. I did. Thankfully my wonderful midwife just gently distracted me. She just asked me to hold on a bit longer. She knew it was important to me to be drug free but she also knew all to well that it is very painful and we can be very vulnerable in labour. Even DH, who also knew my wishes, really I think wouldn't have been able to help me.... Personal opinion (experience) here, but I think most men are really out of their element around births.
Have you considered a doula?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shane* 
That's an awesome plan. I did something very similar with my first and it was like I never gave my midwives anything at all. I lived in Mass. and had to go to a midwife practice with like 10 midwives there. You got whoever was on call that day. Of course the person I had had no clue about anything that was in my file. Nice as could be, but the whole experience was disappointing because I was in too much pain to talk or think about anything that I had written down.











Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corbynsmama* 
I also go to a shared practice so I bring a copy of my birth plan so that all the doctor's know my wishes. The Hospital also has a copy so there is no DOUBTs in anyone's mind.











Everyone ready for the weekend?


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
CM: That's a great plan, really well thought out. Have you discussed it with your doctor?

A word of caution about the pain meds....you may very likely ask for them even if you are determined to have a pain med free birth. I did. Thankfully my wonderful midwife just gently distracted me. She just asked me to hold on a bit longer. She knew it was important to me to be drug free but she also knew all to well that it is very painful and we can be very vulnerable in labour. Even DH, who also knew my wishes, really I think wouldn't have been able to help me.... Personal opinion (experience) here, but I think most men are really out of their element around births.
Have you considered a doula?

Everyone ready for the weekend?


Yup I have discussed the plan with my doctor and he is happy with it. And I can't have pain meds if I wanted them anyways. I am allergic to opiates and well they only offer opiod pain meds here at my hospital so pain meds are out for me. And I have considered a doula but its not covered by my medicare here and I am on a limited income so I can't afford one. But I have 2 people who know of my wishes to NOT have pain meds and they will make very clear that everything on my birth plan gets done to my wishes.

I am ready and waiting for the weekend I think it may be baby time. I was awoken at 4am this morning by very strong contractions about 15 mins apart. I then awoke at 6:30 am soaked from the waste down. I am still leaking fluid and my contractions are 10 mins apart lasting 45 seconds. When I went for my NST they told me that I could very well go in tonight so here's to hoping.


----------



## BaBaBa

You are goooooood to go!









seeing as you could go into labour any time I'm gonna send all my good vibes your way now...







:







:







:







:







:

It's such an exciting time isn't it?


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
You are goooooood to go!









seeing as you could go into labour any time I'm gonna send all my good vibes your way now...







:







:







:







:







:

It's such an exciting time isn't it?


Thank you and yes it is very exciting. I am continuing to get contractions so HOPEFULLY the vibes are working for me


----------



## BaBaBa

?


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shane* 
What kind! Post pics!
Be careful on your trip.

Hello all, we are back. Man what a long drive!! My new puppy is a Swedish Vallhund, his name is Odin. As soon as I get some pics I will post them.

How is everyone doing? I hope you had a great weekend.


----------



## BaBaBa

Missed you RV! Glad you're home safe







:

What a cool breed! (I just googled them). Why did you decide on it?

See or do anything else fun on your road adventure?


----------



## Sunflower223

redveg- congrats! can't wait to see pic of the puppy.

corbynsmommy- how are things? have a baby yet?

I am freeeeezzzzziiiinnng. I bought a small heater today. I was trying to avoid such, since it usually doesn't get this cold where I live, but me and the babies were freezing last night. I couldn't wait to get in the car this morning with the heater.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sunflower223* 
I am freeeeezzzzziiiinnng. I bought a small heater today. I was trying to avoid such, since it usually doesn't get this cold where I live, but me and the babies were freezing last night. I couldn't wait to get in the car this morning with the heater.

Yuck! I hate being cold. the mornings are the worst. It's been sort of wet snow here for days do it's damp and cold. I stay VERY close to the fire.

Is your whole family vegetarian or just you?


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Missed you RV! Glad you're home safe







:

What a cool breed! (I just googled them). Why did you decide on it?

See or do anything else fun on your road adventure?

Thanks. We picked them because of all the other animals I have, like my pigs, sheep and chickens. They are good herding dogs. Plus the size allows me to take him along for rids around town.

We drove straight out there and back. Not a lot to see. I did go to Moosewood, a veggie rest. in New York. it was fantastic!!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sunflower223* 
redveg- congrats! can't wait to see pic of the puppy.

corbynsmommy- how are things? have a baby yet?

I am freeeeezzzzziiiinnng. I bought a small heater today. I was trying to avoid such, since it usually doesn't get this cold where I live, but me and the babies were freezing last night. I couldn't wait to get in the car this morning with the heater.

Thanks, I have to take some pics with my digital instead of my phone.


----------



## BaBaBa

COOL! I know Moosewood. I have their cook book and used it a lot this year actually. What was it like? what did you eat?







:


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
COOL! I know Moosewood. I have their cook book and used it a lot this year actually. What was it like? what did you eat?







:

It was a bit different than I thought. I imagined it to be a cozy little place, sort of like an old house that was made a restaurant. It was more modern than I thought it would be, but it was still wonderful to eat at a place that everything on the menu was something I could have. I had a strudel that was out of this world, ginger tea, and a salad with this amazing house dressing that you could really taste the fresh basil in. Just being there was fantastic.


----------



## BaBaBa

I had the same impression as you. I wonder if it's because their cookbook looks so 'homey'.
It's so refreshing to go into a restaurant that caters to vegetarians. It's not bad in the city but out here in 'beef country' nobody ever has decent vegetarian choices.


----------



## Shane

redveg - Congratulations on the puppy! I'm looking forward to seeing pictures.

Sunflower223 - Sorry to hear you had to endure that cold. I just about can't stand being cold. We are trying to keep the thermostat on 68 this year. My normal temp is 76, but we're on a budget crunch. I'm completely bundled in turtlenecks, sweaters, socks & house slippers. While trying to keep the kids in clothes is a constant battle. How? How, can they stand to be naked in 68 degrees? I have to bribe them with craft time to get them to wear clothes. I can't take anymore glitter!!


----------



## BaBaBa

I never would have thought it got that cold in Georgia.
Our thermostat is at 16.5 C (61.7 F) but that's in the coldest room in the house.
There's a wood stove in the den which keeps it really warm and helps heat the kitchen too. I stay really close to it.
I just loathe winter clothing too. Turtlenecks irritate me. I swear I'll never wear one again and how are you supposed to wash dishes in long woolly sleeves. Yuck!
DD is the same. she won't wear slippers or socks. she pulls off her clothing and runs around naked while I'm piling on the layers. I don't know how she doesn't feel the cold.

I wonder what's happened with CorbynsMama?


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sunflower223* 

corbynsmommy- how are things? have a baby yet?

I had Corbyn on october 25th at 11:37 atlantic time. And so I was in labour on Friday when I thought I was. I'm so glad he is here it made my weekend so great... But I have to post the story later I don't have alot of time I have to get sleep so I can go see my beautiful baby who happens to be in NICU due to chest infection and pnumonia at birth







but he's doing well now.


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
I had the same impression as you. I wonder if it's because their cookbook looks so 'homey'.
It's so refreshing to go into a restaurant that caters to vegetarians. It's not bad in the city but out here in 'beef country' nobody ever has decent vegetarian choices.

I hear ya. There is nothing for a veggie to eat here in my neck of the woods. Please the places here don't even use spices, everything is so bland.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shane* 
redveg - Congratulations on the puppy! I'm looking forward to seeing pictures.

Sunflower223 - Sorry to hear you had to endure that cold. I just about can't stand being cold. We are trying to keep the thermostat on 68 this year. My normal temp is 76, but we're on a budget crunch. I'm completely bundled in turtlenecks, sweaters, socks & house slippers. While trying to keep the kids in clothes is a constant battle. How? How, can they stand to be naked in 68 degrees? I have to bribe them with craft time to get them to wear clothes. I can't take anymore glitter!!

When I lived in Florida I thought it got very cold. We had frost on our windows, grass, heck it even snowed once. Of course it just melted as soon as it hit the street, but it was cool. I think the difference is the humidity, when it's 40 here in New Hampshire It can be fine, but in Florida because it is so damp all the time it was always that straight to the bone cold. That type of cold I can't stand because you feel like you can never get warm.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corbynsmama* 
I had Corbyn on october 25th at 11:37 atlantic time. And so I was in labour on Friday when I thought I was. I'm so glad he is here it made my weekend so great... But I have to post the story later I don't have alot of time I have to get sleep so I can go see my beautiful baby who happens to be in NICU due to chest infection and pnumonia at birth







but he's doing well now.

Congrats!!!







: Sorry the little guy is in the hospital







. I hope he gets to come home asap!!


----------



## rockportmama

:









Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corbynsmama* 
I had Corbyn on october 25th at 11:37 atlantic time. And so I was in labour on Friday when I thought I was. I'm so glad he is here it made my weekend so great... But I have to post the story later I don't have alot of time I have to get sleep so I can go see my beautiful baby who happens to be in NICU due to chest infection and pnumonia at birth







but he's doing well now.

Congratulations on your new baby! Hope you get to bring him home soon!







:









Hi, All!

I live in Rockport, TX, which is on the coast. Beautiful town, but I haven't met many people yet. We're very close (10 min) from my in-laws, but I'm not all that close to them. My family, who I love and miss, are all 1,000 miles away (mostly in MO). I also miss the snow! But I've been down here long enough to be a total cold sissy!







: It got down in the 50s the other night, but it's back up to 80 today.

Also expecting a baby. Any day. 37 weeks today. Yesterday my MW said I'm 50% effaced and 2cm dilated. So, it'll probably be closer to the EDD (day before Thanksgiving) before the baby comes. One great thing about being in TX: legal homebirths with midwives! Oh, and the birth pool came yesterday! Now I'm trying to convince DH to blow it up and fill it once to make sure there're no leaks, and to figure out how to get hte water from the faucet to the pool!

Congrats, RedVeg on the puppy and good eats!
Sunflower and BaBaBa- hope you're staying warm!
Shane- sorry you didn't get the birth you wanted!
Congrats, Expat-mama, on looking forward to going home (teensy bit jealous!)

Greetings and salutations!


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corbynsmama* 
I had Corbyn on october 25th at 11:37 atlantic time. And so I was in labour on Friday when I thought I was. I'm so glad he is here it made my weekend so great... But I have to post the story later I don't have alot of time I have to get sleep so I can go see my beautiful baby who happens to be in NICU due to chest infection and pnumonia at birth







but he's doing well now.









: Congratulations!
I'll be praying for a speedy recovery and that he gets home soon







:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rockportmama* 
Hi, All!

I live in Rockport, TX, which is on the coast. Beautiful town, but I haven't met many people yet. We're very close (10 min) from my in-laws, but I'm not all that close to them. My family, who I love and miss, are all 1,000 miles away (mostly in MO). I also miss the snow! But I've been down here long enough to be a total cold sissy!







: It got down in the 50s the other night, but it's back up to 80 today.

Also expecting a baby. Any day. 37 weeks today. Yesterday my MW said I'm 50% effaced and 2cm dilated. So, it'll probably be closer to the EDD (day before Thanksgiving) before the baby comes. One great thing about being in TX: legal homebirths with midwives! Oh, and the birth pool came yesterday! Now I'm trying to convince DH to blow it up and fill it once to make sure there're no leaks, and to figure out how to get hte water from the faucet to the pool!











Nice to meet you! A water baby....how wonderful! What made you decide that.
Very wise to figure it out in advance


----------



## rockportmama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Nice to meet you! A water baby....how wonderful! What made you decide that.
Very wise to figure it out in advance









Nice to meet you, too!

Um, don't remember about deciding to have a pool available. Most likely got the idea from one of the Sears books. Or several of them! We did it with DS, too. I labored in the water, but ended up giving birth on a birth stool -- in our kitchen! The way DH tells the story, the sun had just come up and was shining in the kitchen window and the roosters were crowing when DS was born. I remember more about pushing, my tailbone hurting, burning, tearing, stitches, etc. I usually let DH tell the story!!! LOL!

As for this baby, only time will tell!


----------



## BaBaBa

I considered a water birth but was too lazy to deal with the details. I laboured a bit in the tub and just wanted out so I guess it wouldn't have been for me anyhow.
I broke my tailbone giving birth.
I love how DHs tell birth stories. Mine always forgets to mention the car wash he took me through when I was in labour.


----------



## rockportmama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
I considered a water birth but was too lazy to deal with the details. I laboured a bit in the tub and just wanted out so I guess it wouldn't have been for me anyhow.
I broke my tailbone giving birth.
I love how DHs tell birth stories. Mine always forgets to mention the car wash he took me through when I was in labour.

So, if you gave birth in a car wash, would that count as a water birth?









Sorry about your tailbone! That had to have hurt for a LONG time!

How many babies do you have? How old? If you don't mind me asking!


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

Thanks for the congrats guys. He's doing very well. They are telling me that by the beginning of the week next week he will be able to come home. He graduated from an isolete to a cradle at 2:30am and he's nursing without oxygen now so he is doing wonderfully.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rockportmama* 
So, if you gave birth in a car wash, would that count as a water birth?









Sorry about your tailbone! That had to have hurt for a LONG time!

How many babies do you have? How old? If you don't mind me asking!









: Oh you're clever!

It did hurt! It took about 6 months to heal

I only have one DD. she'll be 2 in December.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corbynsmama* 
Thanks for the congrats guys. He's doing very well. They are telling me that by the beginning of the week next week he will be able to come home. He graduated from an isolete to a cradle at 2:30am and he's nursing without oxygen now so he is doing wonderfully.









:







:


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rockportmama* 
Hi, All!

I live in Rockport, TX, which is on the coast. Beautiful town, but I haven't met many people yet. We're very close (10 min) from my in-laws, but I'm not all that close to them. My family, who I love and miss, are all 1,000 miles away (mostly in MO). I also miss the snow! But I've been down here long enough to be a total cold sissy!







: It got down in the 50s the other night, but it's back up to 80 today.

Also expecting a baby. Any day. 37 weeks today. Yesterday my MW said I'm 50% effaced and 2cm dilated. So, it'll probably be closer to the EDD (day before Thanksgiving) before the baby comes. One great thing about being in TX: legal homebirths with midwives! Oh, and the birth pool came yesterday! Now I'm trying to convince DH to blow it up and fill it once to make sure there're no leaks, and to figure out how to get hte water from the faucet to the pool!

Congrats, RedVeg on the puppy and good eats!
Sunflower and BaBaBa- hope you're staying warm!
Shane- sorry you didn't get the birth you wanted!
Congrats, Expat-mama, on looking forward to going home (teensy bit jealous!)

Greetings and salutations!

Welcome. Glad to meet you.


----------



## rockportmama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Welcome. Glad to meet you.

Thank you, redveg! Glad to meet you, too.


----------



## simplespirit

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
I love how DHs tell birth stories. Mine always forgets to mention the car wash he took me through when I was in labour.

for dd#2, my water broke at home on a Saturday afternoon. Unfortunately, it was the MSU vs. Wisconsin game so I had to wait until half time to go to the hospital... my dh loves to tell that story


----------



## BaBaBa

good grief!

DH is driving me nuts today. He's sick. Waaaaaah!

I can't believe he asked me to take his temperature while I was nursing DD under one arm and trying to peel celery root with the other!

Men!


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

LOL I am in love with my man right now. He's been by my side pretty much since I had Corbyn and he rushed to the hospital from work when I called and told him my water had broke. Luckily it was the end of the day for him. But he's been amazing.


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
good grief!

DH is driving me nuts today. He's sick. Waaaaaah!

I can't believe he asked me to take his temperature while I was nursing DD under one arm and trying to peel celery root with the other!

Men!

I hear ya! My DH is a HUGE baby when he's sick..

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corbynsmama* 
LOL I am in love with my man right now. He's been by my side pretty much since I had Corbyn and he rushed to the hospital from work when I called and told him my water had broke. Luckily it was the end of the day for him. But he's been amazing.

What a good Daddy.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corbynsmama* 
LOL I am in love with my man right now. He's been by my side pretty much since I had Corbyn and he rushed to the hospital from work when I called and told him my water had broke. Luckily it was the end of the day for him. But he's been amazing.

I think I'll always wonder how our SO feel about the whole birth experience we go through. It's nothing they can ever experience for themselves and really as much as they can help us we can do it without them.
I don't think men have a rite of passage anything like it.


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
What a good Daddy.

While he's certainly not the bio daddy he is a great step daddy for sure and the only daddy corbyn has ever known and probably will ever know

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
I think I'll always wonder how our SO feel about the whole birth experience we go through. It's nothing they can ever experience for themselves and really as much as they can help us we can do it without them.
I don't think men have a rite of passage anything like it.

I agree with this


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corbynsmama* 
While he's certainly not the bio daddy he is a great step daddy for sure and the only daddy corbyn has ever known and probably will ever know


----------



## 106657

Hello mamas. I added a photo of me and my new pup, Odin.

Hey BaBaBa, how are things going? How was your weekend?

Corbynsmama: To me a Daddy is the person who is there day in and out. Yeah for him!!


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

Redveg its true any man can be a father it takes a special guy to be a dad.


----------



## BaBaBa

Love the slide show rv








Your kids are gorgeous! How many animals exactly do you have?!?! They must keep you very busy....and the vet bills.....


----------



## 106657

Thanks BaBaBa. Well, right now living with me I have 2 dogs, 5 cats, 3 chickens, and 2 pot bellied pigs. A friend is taking care of my 2 sheep, and I have another pig that I am waiting to adopt, this is the sister to YodaMae. Vet bills aren't that bad, I have a great vet that comes from Vermont to take care of my pigs, and a local vet for the others. One of my DD's is going to be a vet, so one day I won't have any vet bills!


----------



## BaBaBa

I just missed you last night. I was getting DD to bed and when i came back you and mf were gone


----------



## simplespirit

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Hello mamas. I added a photo of me and my new pup, Odin.

I love the slide show, rv!


----------



## Shane

RV - Awesome slide show! Cute pup!
Rockport - Welcome!
Hey to everyone else too!
Guess I missed the Halloween chat. I hope everyone had fun.

Here's the list of our costumes & a picture.
DS - "Scary chopper" (basically he dressed in a skeleton costume with a grim reaper scythe)
DD - "Scary spider"
Me and DH both wore all blue and name tags that said "Gene" so we were a pair of blue genes (jeans).
Our 2 inside dogs wore signs that said "Dirty" and we called them a Dirty Double Dog Dare


----------



## BaBaBa

aaaaawwwhh!

Shane, you look so young....I though you were one of the kids until I realized... nope... that's mama!


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 









I just missed you last night. I was getting DD to bed and when i came back you and mf were gone









I know. All of a sudden I looked around here and all my family went up to bed. Not one of them said goodnight. So I had to make the rounds.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *simplespirit* 
I love the slide show, rv!

Thanks simplespirit.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shane* 
RV - Awesome slide show! Cute pup!
Rockport - Welcome!
Hey to everyone else too!
Guess I missed the Halloween chat. I hope everyone had fun.

Here's the list of our costumes & a picture.
DS - "Scary chopper" (basically he dressed in a skeleton costume with a grim reaper scythe)
DD - "Scary spider"
Me and DH both wore all blue and name tags that said "Gene" so we were a pair of blue genes (jeans).
Our 2 inside dogs wore signs that said "Dirty" and we called them a Dirty Double Dog Dare

Shane, what a beautiful family you have.


----------



## Shane

Awe. Thanks y'all!


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

I'm having a really really bad day and wish I had someone here to hug me and tell me everything would be alright. I don't want to really explain what's going on but its pretty tough for me today.


----------



## BaBaBa

I'm so sorry mama































Everything will be alright in the morning.


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

I sure hope so but at this point I don't really know. I wish I was a psychic and could see the future and what it holds.


----------



## simplespirit

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corbynsmama* 
I sure hope so but at this point I don't really know. I wish I was a psychic and could see the future and what it holds.

Can someone read your cards? It might shed some light on your situation.


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

I would have my cards read but I am afraid to see the outcome


----------



## russianthistle

One thing about having your cards read is that only you can project negativity or positivity on the spread...it is all about interpretation. The cards just "are..." you interpret whether what they present is negative or postive through your opinion/perspective of the information they present.


----------



## Shane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corbynsmama* 
I sure hope so but at this point I don't really know. I wish I was a psychic and could see the future and what it holds.










Just remember that through God nothing is impossible.


----------



## russianthistle

also, if you know your birth time (exact) and place, you can enter your data at astro.com and get your extended astrological forecast...perhaps that will shed some light on your current situation...

And, if you have sirius radio, there is a psychic (Mary Occhino) on Sirius Stars Channel 102 who has a call-in show M-F 8-11 am EST. She will answer one question for free if you call in.


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corbynsmama* 
I'm having a really really bad day and wish I had someone here to hug me and tell me everything would be alright. I don't want to really explain what's going on but its pretty tough for me today.
















:Everything will turn out. I will think good thoughts for you. If you want to talk, you can pm me.


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

Well now that I have gone through my appointment today everything is better. Not everything I wanted it to be but its better than I thought it would be so I am more positive about the situation I am in.


----------



## rockportmama

Hope it continues to get better! Sorry to hear you've been having a rough time.









Love all the pics!

Shane - Thanks for the welcome!

Not much going on here. Mostly prepared for the homebirth, so the stress is gone- Yeah! Now we're kind of in a holding pattern. Just... waiting.







:







Now I remember why I'm such a procrastinator. Being all stressed out and flurrying around is WAY more entertaining/engaging than... waiting.









On the plus side, I had reserved a copy of "Twilight" at the library and finally got it yesterday after voting. Finished it last night! Good thing I checked out the second book, too!

Did y'all like the gratituitous voting reference? I was afraid I wouldn't be able to. DH was supposed to watch DS for me, and instead he left for work early. I had an expired voter card from my last address (same address as my DL has.) And I didn't know where to go. And I was really afraid of getting stuck in line for hours with a giant belly and a toddler. So, I was very happy to actually get myself/DS together, out the door, and actually managed to vote!! So proud of myself!

After voting, I called my MIL to tell her there wasn't a line. She had knee surgery a few weeks ago and can't stand in line at all. So, she told me she'd early voted, and then asked who I'd voted for. Now, we are of complete opposite political persuasions. And I know I'm never going to change their minds. On anything. But they still think that they can change my mind. Furthermore, they act like, since I married their son, that I owe it to them to agree with them on everything and do anything they say. So I mostly just try to avoid getting into it with them, because they still take it as a personal insult that I don't always agree with them on everything. So I just asked her who she thought I'd voted for. And I didn't confirm or deny. Then she still tried to get into it with me and I said " Well, I just wanted to make sure you had a chance to vote!" Then she said goodbye and hung up on me!!





















*sigh*


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corbynsmama* 
Well now that I have gone through my appointment today everything is better. Not everything I wanted it to be but its better than I thought it would be so I am more positive about the situation I am in.

I hope things continue to improve..


----------



## BaBaBa

thinking of you CM.......









The election was a really beautiful thing, no matter what side you're on.

Even if BO turns out to be a lousy president (and I don't think that will be the case) just the fact that he got elected speaks so much for hope, change and optimism.
The fact that so many people got involved in voted is wonderful
I wanted to cry when I saw and heard some of the reactions of people.
It was a beautiful time of people coming together.


----------



## expat-mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
The fact that so many people got involved in voted is wonderful
I wanted to cry when I saw and heard some of the reactions of people.
It was a beautiful time of people coming together.































:
It was truly wonderful...even though I don't agree with Obama on all of his policies (I don't agree with ANYONE on all of their policies







), I think he is a great leader, a good person, smart as a whip, and an inspiration to so many. I have lots of hopes that this movement that swept Obama into office will continue in other positive directions.









Hi everyone....
I've been gone from this thread for a while...congrats to Corbyn's mom!







And I hope you are doing okay...
And thanks to BaBaBa for adding me as a friend







- my first MDC friend!

Not very much is going on with me. I gave notice at work that I'll be leaving at the end of my contract and moving back to Canada! yey! DH is deeply buried in his research and I'm a bit bored without him... I'm worried about how it will be when he starts his PhD next year...even MORE work. And less time for lil ol' me









We are starting cycle 7 of TTC which makes me feel like this







:




























most of the time. I know this isn't the place to b*tch and moan about TTC, there are about a gazillion other threads for that, but I just want to say it BLOWS and I'm sick of it. I just want to be pregnant already!









And it's getting colder and all I feel like doing is eating chocolate and snuggling under warm blankets.









Did I use almost all the smilies in this post???


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 

We are starting cycle 7 of TTC which makes me feel like this







:




























most of the time. I know this isn't the place to b*tch and moan about TTC, there are about a gazillion other threads for that, but I just want to say it BLOWS and I'm sick of it. I just want to be pregnant already!









Hey expat-mama, I didn't know you were TTC. If you don't mind me asking, what is cycle 7? Is that IVF or something along those lines? Just asking because almost 15 years ago I did IVF. I will be thinking about you, sending you good thoughts for this cycle.


----------



## rockportmama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 
Not very much is going on with me. I gave notice at work that I'll be leaving at the end of my contract and moving back to Canada! yey! DH is deeply buried in his research and I'm a bit bored without him... I'm worried about how it will be when he starts his PhD next year...even MORE work. And less time for lil ol' me









We are starting cycle 7 of TTC which makes me feel like this







:




























most of the time. I know this isn't the place to b*tch and moan about TTC, there are about a gazillion other threads for that, but I just want to say it BLOWS and I'm sick of it. I just want to be pregnant already!









Hey, expat-mama! Yeah, for moving home soon! I feel ya on being bored without DH. Mine is currently working 8 hours a day, 7 days a week. And about half the time he leaves for work early or comes home late. Or both. The other day he was gone 14 hours. DS was asleep when he left and asleep when he came home.









Sorry you're having to wait to concieve! Such a rough and emotional and trying situation! We tried for DS for well over a year before we got preggo. I had just decided we weren't able to concieve and needed to someday see some MD's about it, and BOOM! Preggo! Waiting is not easy. Or fun. This time, we talked about it one day, decided it was time to start trying - thinking it would take another year. BOOM! Preggo! I'm due in two weeks now, and my brain/spirit has just now finally processed that I'm going to have another baby and I'm just this week getting a little bit excitied! I've felt really guilty about not being excited this time (especially since we were TTC), but apparently I just needed time to process. Thank goodness it didn't take longer than 9 mos! Unprocessed emotions about being pregnant/wanting this baby now are not good for a home birth!!!!!









So, my unsolicited advice? Find a project. Get totally engrossed in something that has nothing to do with DH or babies. You're gonna wait either way (even after getting preggo!), so you may as well keep busy and have some fun, right?









Howdy to all mamas! Any papas on this thread?

CM- hoping things are still looking up for you!


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

Things are frusterating but they are ok.


----------



## simplespirit

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corbynsmama* 
Things are frusterating but they are ok.

Glad to hear things are ok... blessings to you1


----------



## expat-mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Hey expat-mama, I didn't know you were TTC. If you don't mind me asking, what is cycle 7?

Hey redveg- nope not IVF or anything like that. Just your run-of-the-mill TTC. Cycle seven means we're on our seventh try, beginning month 7.







:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rockportmama* 

Sorry you're having to wait to concieve! Such a rough and emotional and trying situation! We tried for DS for well over a year before we got preggo. I had just decided we weren't able to concieve and needed to someday see some MD's about it, and BOOM! Preggo! Waiting is not easy. Or fun.
So, my unsolicited advice? Find a project. Get totally engrossed in something that has nothing to do with DH or babies. You're gonna wait either way (even after getting preggo!), so you may as well keep busy and have some fun, right?









Hey rockportmama- Yep it's been really rough the past couple of months. I actually just got back from my OBGYN today! When I went for my preconception checkup six months ago, she told us to come back if we were unsuccessful after 3 months. They are really aggressive here with meds and IF treatments- no waiting for a year if you don't want to! But DH and I decided to wait 6 mos in hopes that it would happen for us easily. So I had an ultrasound and everything looks fine except I have a corpus luteum cyst on one of my ovaries, but it's not too big and the doc said it should be gone in a couple of weeks. I'm going in for another ultrasound so she can monitor my ovulation...or something. Then next month if still not pregnant, we are scheduling a semen analysis, blood tests and then HSG if the first two check out fine. Everything here is cheap, fast and easy compared to what it would be like in Canada so if we have any IF troubles we want to get it taken care of before we leave in Feb. So I'm happy to have a doctor that is aggressive when it comes to this stuff... I'm feeling better having a PLAN at least. I hate feeling like things are out my of control...it's a terrible weakness of mine.








BUT hopefully it'll be like you said, all these doctor's visits and then BOOM we're pregnant before we even do anything! I've heard it happens to other people that way. Maybe it has something to do with the stress level going down when it's all put on someone else's shoulders.









As for finding a project...well I'm usually REALLY busy with work. But that has slowed down a lot and will be winding down to basically nothing in the next few months. We've got to make moving plans, but we've moved internationally so many times that I could do it in my sleep







So that's not really a project. I tried knitting and I loved it- but I find myself making baby things because they are fast and so cute- but it doesn't help in taking the mind of TTC... I am thinking of starting to look into the details of how to slowly start my own business when I get back to Canada. So that could be something. I tend to get really engrossed and stressed about work-related things so that might not be a good idea...hm.
We are also thinking about planning a vacation for March- but it's hard to plan without knowing if I'll be pregnant or how pregnant I'll be.







: We like to travel to strange places- so we are thinking of Iran, Lebanon and Jordan. Those are at the top of our list because DH's mom is working in Dubai and we could stop there and visit her. But I'm not sure about traveling when pregnant. That's kind of a mini-project I'm looking into. I love to travel and reading about about different places can definitely take my mind of things...









I can't wait to hear about your homebirth- it's great you are getting excited about it! When in November will your tiny passenger check out? Be sure to keep us updated!







:


----------



## Shane

Good morning ladies.

Warning: Vent ahead.
I totally peed off my mom last night.
How anyone can get so emotionally invested in a person that they've never met and would probably plow over her if she was accidentally in the way of what they wanted is beyond me. She didn't even know who she was voting for 4 weeks ago! How can "congratulations to the new president" be taken as a personal attack on her? I just don't get it. Nobody I vote for ever wins; you don't see me calling people names & getting in trouble at work over it.


----------



## rockportmama

All your adorable pics have inspired me!! I think I may have pics to share! Let me know if this doesn't work.









Pic of Belly and I taken this am down by the water -- about 5 min from the house. Pic of DH and DS from last April. They are tooooooo cute!!









http://s337.photobucket.com/albums/n...t=b6f0e936.pbw


----------



## expat-mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rockportmama* 
All your adorable pics have inspired me!! I think I may have pics to share! Let me know if this doesn't work.









Pic of Belly and I taken this am down by the water -- about 5 min from the house. Pic of DH and DS from last April. They are tooooooo cute!!









http://s337.photobucket.com/albums/n...t=b6f0e936.pbw

rockportmama you and and your family are just adorable! Your husband and son have the SAME smile in that picture! awesome


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## Shane

Rockportmama,
Yall are a good lookin' family! I love your shirt.


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

Cute pics


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rockportmama* 
All your adorable pics have inspired me!! I think I may have pics to share! Let me know if this doesn't work.









Pic of Belly and I taken this am down by the water -- about 5 min from the house. Pic of DH and DS from last April. They are tooooooo cute!!









http://s337.photobucket.com/albums/n...t=b6f0e936.pbw

Beautiful family!


----------



## simplespirit

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shane* 
Good morning ladies.

Warning: Vent ahead.
I totally peed off my mom last night.
How anyone can get so emotionally invested in a person that they've never met and would probably plow over her if she was accidentally in the way of what they wanted is beyond me. She didn't even know who she was voting for 4 weeks ago! How can "congratulations to the new president" be taken as a personal attack on her? I just don't get it. Nobody I vote for ever wins; you don't see me calling people names & getting in trouble at work over it.


So, I take it your mom voted for McCain?


----------



## GooeyRN

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shane* 
Good morning ladies.

Warning: Vent ahead.
I totally peed off my mom last night.
How anyone can get so emotionally invested in a person that they've never met and would probably plow over her if she was accidentally in the way of what they wanted is beyond me. She didn't even know who she was voting for 4 weeks ago! How can "congratulations to the new president" be taken as a personal attack on her? I just don't get it. Nobody I vote for ever wins; you don't see me calling people names & getting in trouble at work over it.

Yikes. My choice lost, too. But your mom, yikes. Remind her the sun will still rise and set every day regardless of who is POTUS.


----------



## Shane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *simplespirit* 
So, I take it your mom voted for McCain?

Yeah. And I think she's stopped taking her meds again. She's bipolar and says the meds make her fat and so she stops taking them sometimes. But she crys over politics even when she's on her meds.


----------



## Sunflower223

shane,

Sorry to hear about your mama. I was lucky enough that my mom and I saw eye-to-eye on this election and were happy with the results. I have heard a lot of bellyaching and whining at work though. Some of it to an extreme and unfortunate degree.

I'm sure it will pass. On the bipolar issue, she should talk to her doctor about that issue, there are other meds out there that don't make you gain weight at all. She might need a little push from you on that one.


----------



## 106657

Morning mamas. How are things going? Taking my new pup to the vet today. He is not acting right, falling a lot, sleepy, just doesn't seem the playful little guy he was a few days ago. i hope he is ok!


----------



## GooeyRN

I hope your pup is ok! Let us know!


----------



## BaBaBa

It's sad how divisive this past election in particular became. Even here on MDC.

Ultimately I think we all want the same basic things; to be able to provide well for our families, peace, justice, freedom....

It's a real shame that politics gets in the way, especially when family and friends are divided.

Did you hear about the woman in Michigan who would not give candy on Halloween to the children of Obama supporters? Shameful!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Morning mamas. How are things going? Taking my new pup to the vet today. He is not acting right, falling a lot, sleepy, just doesn't seem the playful little guy he was a few days ago. i hope he is ok!









:


----------



## 106657

Hi all. Well, so far they can't find anything wrong with him. We have to take him to a vet in Mass. on monday.

As far as the election, I just don't get why people get so worked up. I agree that I think we all want the same things for our family's. My dh and I are often on different sides when it comes to politics, but we have a discussion about it. His family on the other hand? We just don't bring it up. It's a shame because I love having conversations that let me see another persons side.


----------



## mommyndoula

hi ladies... I just need a place to sound off.... and I figured one lonely mother to another, who'd better understand than all of you.

I feel so isolated and lonely. We just moved 1700 miles cross country, from a place where I had few friends to begin with by choice as I didn't really want to be there anyway. It's been 6 years since I've been home which is 2000 miles away now. For once I really like where were at, I want to fit in so badly. So I find the midwife/doula community here... and I was told in gentler words that I'm "not welcome" and have to "wait in line" (referencing clients and other opportunities) I struggle with confidence to even make an appearance at monthly events because of the unfriendly welcome I received. So, I join a mommies group, at least maybe I can find a way out of the house through playgroups. It's okay, fine and dandy chatting with them online until I they find out I'm not not your average joe schmoe parent. Example, I took lots of flack that I wouldn't let my 24 month old tricker treat (why does a 24 month old need candy?), that I am barefoot and my kids rarely wear shoes... oh my you should have heard the conversation when they found out about placenta encapsulation.... sigh.... I don't know how much longer I can talk to a 24 month old and 10 month old, while DH works ALL day and not lose my freakin' mind! (Don't get me wrong, I love my kids, but I feel like an idiot by the end of the day... I can't seem to remember if I ever made it past pre-school!)

I just don't fit anywhere. I wanted to fit in here, make some friends. What's a mama supposed to do??? I never expected a community of birth workers to be so un-welcoming, I wasn't trying to step on anyones toes by moving here.....

Thanks for listening to my pitty party tonight, I'm pretty lonely & in need of a friend.


----------



## Mimi

poor you!!
i know what you are going through, i moved to england from germany & most mothers here i don't even WANT to be friends with. hitting their children, encouraging their children to hit, tv all day, girls not allowed to play with boys toys, girl HAVE to wear pink..
i wonder if there is a place where mamas like us are not "frowned upon". (besides portland.i might just have to move there







)


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## ~kitnkaboodle~

I know how you feel too. There are alot of crunchy momma's here but not many that I would associate with because they seem soo snobby.


----------



## simplespirit

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corbynsmama* 
I know how you feel too. There are alot of crunchy momma's here but not many that I would associate with because they seem soo snobby.


omg.. I so understand this! I think of the 'crunchy' mamas that shop at Whole Foods with their LLBean bags and drive Ford Explorer Hybrids...

They may be crunchy and hey, more power to 'em but I don't fit in. I am a Goodwill/thift store/generic/ garden mama... I spend on food in a month what some Whole Fooders spend in a week!


----------



## Mimi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *simplespirit* 
omg.. I so understand this! I think of the 'crunchy' mamas that shop at Whole Foods with their LLBean bags and drive Ford Explorer Hybrids...

They may be crunchy and hey, more power to 'em but I don't fit in. I am a Goodwill/thift store/generic/ garden mama... I spend on food in a month what some Whole Fooders spend in a week!


A lot of yoga pants in SUVs here,too.
Also "oh yes, my children eat nothing but organic food, i make sure the nanny buys the right stuff!"...
but hey,it's an effort, isn't it?


----------



## 106657

mommyndoula..hugs to you. Things will get better.

My sad news. I had to have my new puppy put to sleep. My family is so upset. This little guy was such a good dog. We were looking forward to so many days of hiking, and playing with him. Time will help? I hope.


----------



## Shane

mommyndoula - I'm so sorry you have to feel this way. I hope that you can find someone to connect with.

Dh doesn't really like me leaving the house, so I've been in and out of drepressive states ever since I started being a SAHM. Seriously, I should be happy. Being a SAHM was like a life long dream of mine. But being a SAHW to someone who doesn't want you to ever leave the house because of his own self confidence issues isn't what I was bargaining for. I had a major spike in cabin fever yesterday, so starting in December DH has agreed to let me have the truck once a week so that I can start going to my Bible study group again. It's been 3 months. I think I've done pretty well up to this point, about saving the gas money and not going. But I need other women I can talk to, and face to face sometimes. And my kids, the only friends they have ever made were the children of the other mommas at the bible study. Dh doesn't even like us going to the playground, though he did stop making comments about it. After the car got reposessed because he refused to get a job for 2.5 years. Opps! Going off on a vent rampage. Sorry. I'm mad because I'm feeling guilty about going back to my bible study and spending gas money, when he claims that he can't give me more than $4.00 a week in allowance. I'm mad at him for saying that I can't leave the house anyway, so I don't need money. I'm mad at myself for feeling guilty about going back to bible study group when I know that we are broke, but it hasn't curbed his $30.00 a week cigarette habit, or his $15.00 a week soft drink habit. I'm also mad that I thought I could plan my way around a situation like this. I thought that if I saved enough money during my single years, that during my SAHM years I'd be able to feel less dependant. And he's trying to give me a guilt trip because I don't want to have more kids??? Why on earth would I have more kids with someone that treats me like a prisoner?


----------



## Shane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corbynsmama* 
I know how you feel too. There are alot of crunchy momma's here but not many that I would associate with because they seem soo snobby.


Quote:

omg.. I so understand this! I think of the 'crunchy' mamas that shop at Whole Foods with their LLBean bags and drive Ford Explorer Hybrids...

They may be crunchy and hey, more power to 'em but I don't fit in. I am a Goodwill/thift store/generic/ garden mama... I spend on food in a month what some Whole Fooders spend in a week!
That is exactly what it's like around here. I thought that I would go to a babywearing group near here, I went 3 times. All three times they acted as if I never walked in the room. If I tried to join in, I got looks like, "you don't belong here". I just kept going back hoping something was off the first two times. That's how desperate I am to make a friend. Maybe that's why I don't have any. I look too desperate and my Goodwill clothes aren't from the high end consignment shop. I met another mom who made cloth diapers, she acted as if I was competition when she found out I wanted to make mine. Why wouldn't she be friendly? I have no idea. But around here if you don't shop at the expensive places, then you aren't crunchy. I don't care about being "crunchy" anyway, but I would like to meet people that live like me and make choices like me because of their love for all things living and earthly, including people in general, not just people who are rich.

Wow, I can't believe I'm on a soap box tonight. But these posts just stirred something up.


----------



## Shane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
mommyndoula..hugs to you. Things will get better.

My sad news. I had to have my new puppy put to sleep. My family is so upset. This little guy was such a good dog. We were looking forward to so many days of hiking, and playing with him. Time will help? I hope.

What? Awe wow that is so sad. I'm so sorry, redveg. I'm really sorry to hear that.









I gotta go eat some chocolate.


----------



## expat-mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shane* 

Dh doesn't really like me leaving the house, so I've been in and out of drepressive states ever since I started being a SAHM. Seriously, I should be happy. Being a SAHM was like a life long dream of mine. But being a SAHW to someone who doesn't want you to ever leave the house because of his own self confidence issues isn't what I was bargaining for.

Why on earth would I have more kids with someone that treats me like a prisoner?

Hi Shane, big hugs to you.
I don't want to overstep any boundaries by saying this, but this relationship sounds abusive. I'm not completely saying this from an outsider's perspective either. My parents relationship was very much like what you described. My mother became a SAHM when I was older because we moved to the US from Canada and she did not have a work visa. My father was a very jealous and controlling type (very similar to what your husband sounds like) and he grew more and more like this as time went on. My mother became more and more isolated because my sister went off to university and I was at a boarding school. In the last phase, my father was putting locks on the inside of doors that only he had the keys to, cut off her access to any and all bank accounts, tapped the phones and even hired private investigators to watch her. She was a prisoner in her own home and she became majorly depressed and suicidal. She literally had to escape when she decided to leave him and the years of this kind of home environment were really traumatic not just for her but for my sister and I as well.
I don't mean to say that this is what is happening or will happen to you, I'm just giving you my background on the matter.
I think both you and your husband could benefit from some counseling- both individual and couple counseling- *you are a person too- entitled to a life beyond the home and relationships with friends and family besides your children and husband*. If you need these things and do not have them, there is a real risk of serious depression issues.
I can also say that growing up as kid in a household like this was very, very upsetting and damaging to my sister and I. I still have issues with control and trust in my relationships and I have no doubt that it is because of what went on between my parents. If you don't try to resolve this issue for yourself, please think of your children- this is not a normal or healthy environment for them or a good model relationship to witness.
I know how difficult it can be when you love someone who treats you in a hurtful way even when he loves you too- there are ways to make things better for everyone involved.

If you need to talk more about this, please PM me or feel free to talk about it in this group.


----------



## BaBaBa

RV:
























I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you and the all the family (2 or 4 footed) are coping alright.









I've just been lurking....not feeling like I had much to say these days, plus DH has been home and keeping me busy.


----------



## Shane

expat-mama

I know it's abusive. I really do. And I know that we need counseling, individually and as a couple. But we can't afford it. We had the pastor come over and talk to us one time, that's when DH decided to start looking for a job. But since then, our pastor has had some marital problems of his own, and is a bit of a gossiper so I don't feel comfortable asking him to get involved again.

But here's the situation. My parents divorced. My mom married 4 more times after that. 3 of them abused her physically, 1 of them tried to sexually abuse my sister. My daddy married 2 more times, afterward. The first one tried to shoot him as he was chasing her through our house. The second one took her frustration out on my sisters and I with a leather belt among other things. I can not get a divorce. I can not take a chance that will happen to my kids. I'm the "stepford wife". I put on my happy face. I tell myself lies so that I believe I'm in control, and I am the ever loving wife and mother.

I'm sorry you guys have heard my sob story a time or two, because I know I'm never gonna leave. Not before the kids are adults. I guess I've just used this as a place to have my self pity party. I need to restart that old blog.

But don't worry, you didn't overstep your boundaries. You are right on. And I do appreciate the response.


----------



## expat-mama

Hi again Shane,
I respect your position about staying with your husband given your family history. Only you know your relationship and your situation well enough to make that decision.








I do want to say that my mother made the same decision for her children- she stayed with my father until both my sister and I were finished high school. As the child in that situation, I wish now and I wished then that my mother would leave my father. It was so painful having a depressed, suicidal and isolated mother for my sister and I. We lost her in those years, some of the most important years of our growing up. As daughters, we didn't have a happy, strong, and balanced mother for a role model- and it made growing up into women so difficult. We suffered under my father's jealousy and strict control too. It's hard when you already know the bad sides of what leaving could do to your family- but you don't know what the affects of staying will be on your children. I think my sister and I turned out alright, despite my mother staying. But we both have problems with depression, anxiety, relationships with men. Because of everything between my parents that happened with my family, I don't speak to my father and I have a strained relationship with my mother because I felt abandoned as a teenager when I needed her most- when she was going through depression. I honestly feel that if my parents had split up when I was younger I would have a better relationship with them both and I might not have so many problems with anxiety and self-esteem.

I know my mother felt like staying with my father was the best decision she could make, but I don't think it was. I think the best decision for her, my sister and I would have been to leave my father and I wished she had done it years before we had grown up.
Anyway, like I said, I'm sure you know the best decision for you. But just because you leave your husband doesn't mean you will have other failed relationships after it- it could be quite the opposite. And your children might be able to see a happy, strong woman and mother as a role model.


----------



## 106657

Shane..Oh my gosh Hugs to you!!!

expat-mama..Your advice/comments are right on! Did we have the same parents?


----------



## Shane

You know, I'm not even worried about what my relationships after this will be like. I don't believe in dating or getting remarried after divorce. It's just a religious thing, for me. I'm more worried about what his relationships would be like. My mom never expected to not have custody of us. My dad promised he wouldn't fight for it. But an angry man can be vengeful. And I know that once I leave the kids would have to go to daycare or some other person who wouldn't love them like I do, while I go to work. (Did I mention that one of my sisters was sexually abused by 2 different babysitters?) This situation seems better.

The truth is, I don't know of another marriage IRL that's better than mine. I wouldn't trade being married to him for being married to any other man I know. He knows he's messed up. He truely wants to be better and anytime I demand something I always get my way. Except for spying on me. He just can't seem to help himself. He has parental controls and such so that he can see what I'm doing online. He had me followed for the frist 2 years of our marriage. At least that has stopped. My problem is I'm not demanding. I'm just not that girl. I'm more of a let me treat you the way I want you to treat me, and when you don't do it I'm going to get angry because you didn't do it all by yourself without me having to tell you, & remind you over and over again. I'm nonconfrontational to the max. For a while I confused being a godly wife with being a let you treat me however you want and I should take it with humbleness wife. But I'm working through that and almost over it. And last night when I got on here, I had just got through talking to a friend who feels she's lost herself since having kids and her husband is very controlling. I had talked to my sister who's husband is physically violent, and prone to drinking all day and not looking for a job. And I guess I was just mad at men in general so I vomitted all over MDC. It wasn't fair. I'm sorry to you guys and to Dh. Because he truely is working on his problems and it really is getting better. And I thank you for sharing your story, because I know that I need to remember that and not let myself be weak, for the sake of my children's self worth.


----------



## BaBaBa

Shane,
thank you for sharing your story. I can't imagine what you have to deal with sometimes. I'm so happy you can take comfort in your faith.
You're in my thoughts.


----------



## expat-mama

Hey lonely mamas
I've been in shock for the past few days- we're finally pregnant!














:

I can hardly believe it- it feels unreal, like a dream or something. DH is sooo excited he's been grinning non-stop since I told him Wednesday morning!
We've been saving money for months now getting ready for our big move and squirreling away savings for when DH goes back to school so we haven't been to our favorite chinese restaurant in a long time. We said we would go "when we had something to celebrate"- so after taking the test (and staring at it with my mouth hanging open and my knees shaking for twenty minutes in the bathroom), I brought DH a cup of tea and asked him if he felt like chinese food thi weekend! He was just like "wha- you mean- we -you're?"
Hehe. It was marvelous.








I'm so happy that we did it naturally- this was our last month before my doc was going to do all sorts of tests and clomid! Please send me sticky vibes, I'm optimistic but cautiously so. Due date is 8/8!


----------



## marieangela

Fabulous news, expat-mama! Sticky vibes coming your way!


----------



## BaBaBa

Woo hoo expat-mama!!!







:







:







:

You both must be over the moon























:









and







:

what an exciting time! Please pleeeeeease keep us posted


----------



## lil_earthmomma

Hi... new here.

My dh and 2 baby boys have just moved far from our home, leaving family and friends behind. Not only that but we are living in a tiny village of 700 people. On top of this the women I have met through playgroup seem... dumb. That sounds snobby, and I don't mean to be, but maybe dumb isn't the right word. They drink and party alot (I liked to go out some before I had babies but now I just can't see it happening.) They are very un AP and just not interested in anything I'm interested in. This is totally depressing me. Dh is in the same boat, no common interests or points of view. We are hating living here and can't figure out a way to go home. Sigh. It's causing us to fight with eachother which sucks. We are generally an awesome team, but not lately.

So ya, that's my sob story.


----------



## hugzandkissez

I am totally feeling like I am from another planet!
I have lived in my town for five years and finally last summer I joined a hs group to feel not so isolated because I was having a hard time finding others to be comfortable around..(people publicly do not treat their children nice here..it is a heart pounding, make me want to not go shopping or out at all)
I thought I scored with the group I joined, but now it has changed. My ds only has one good friend that he enjoys playing with. I have to talk myself into going every week other wise we would just stay home and I know we need to get out.
Now one of my sisters have decided to disown me because of my homeschooling/AP ways. She told me that I didn't except her ways and until I did she wouldn't have anything to do with me.
I never called her out on her parenting or schooling ways. I talked to her about one of her friends who constantly wacks her kids in the head at family events. I told my sister that I was going to ask her friend to be more gentle. I also explained to her the way I feel when I see people treat children with such anger and physical discipline. She got outraged and the conversation went bad. I am so alone.
I found out the one friend that ds has comes from a spanking family who say they do it for biblical reasons and that makes me nauseous and now I have thought twice about keeping up with that friendship. I don't want to hurt ds by keeping him from his friend; I am torn on whether the hs group has changed or did I just finally get to know the true function of the group?


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 
Hey lonely mamas
I've been in shock for the past few days- we're finally pregnant!














:

I can hardly believe it- it feels unreal, like a dream or something. DH is sooo excited he's been grinning non-stop since I told him Wednesday morning!
We've been saving money for months now getting ready for our big move and squirreling away savings for when DH goes back to school so we haven't been to our favorite chinese restaurant in a long time. We said we would go "when we had something to celebrate"- so after taking the test (and staring at it with my mouth hanging open and my knees shaking for twenty minutes in the bathroom), I brought DH a cup of tea and asked him if he felt like chinese food thi weekend! He was just like "wha- you mean- we -you're?"
Hehe. It was marvelous.








I'm so happy that we did it naturally- this was our last month before my doc was going to do all sorts of tests and clomid! Please send me sticky vibes, I'm optimistic but cautiously so. Due date is 8/8!









:







:







: Congrats!!







:







:







:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lil_earthmomma* 
Hi... new here.

My dh and 2 baby boys have just moved far from our home, leaving family and friends behind. Not only that but we are living in a tiny village of 700 people. On top of this the women I have met through playgroup seem... dumb. That sounds snobby, and I don't mean to be, but maybe dumb isn't the right word. They drink and party alot (I liked to go out some before I had babies but now I just can't see it happening.) They are very un AP and just not interested in anything I'm interested in. This is totally depressing me. Dh is in the same boat, no common interests or points of view. We are hating living here and can't figure out a way to go home. Sigh. It's causing us to fight with eachother which sucks. We are generally an awesome team, but not lately.

So ya, that's my sob story.

I moved 3 years ago away from my family and friends to a small town too. Not as small as yours, but less than 2000, and rural. It took me a while to meet people, even now I am by myself most days, but I have found a groove. It gets to me sometimes, but it is getting better. I am sure it will fall in place for you too. It takes time, hang in there!!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hugzandkissez* 
I am totally feeling like I am from another planet!
I have lived in my town for five years and finally last summer I joined a hs group to feel not so isolated because I was having a hard time finding others to be comfortable around..(people publicly do not treat their children nice here..it is a heart pounding, make me want to not go shopping or out at all)
I thought I scored with the group I joined, but now it has changed. My ds only has one good friend that he enjoys playing with. I have to talk myself into going every week other wise we would just stay home and I know we need to get out.
Now one of my sisters have decided to disown me because of my homeschooling/AP ways. She told me that I didn't except her ways and until I did she wouldn't have anything to do with me.
I never called her out on her parenting or schooling ways. I talked to her about one of her friends who constantly wacks her kids in the head at family events. I told my sister that I was going to ask her friend to be more gentle. I also explained to her the way I feel when I see people treat children with such anger and physical discipline. She got outraged and the conversation went bad. I am so alone.
I found out the one friend that ds has comes from a spanking family who say they do it for biblical reasons and that makes me nauseous and now I have thought twice about keeping up with that friendship. I don't want to hurt ds by keeping him from his friend; I am torn on whether the hs group has changed or did I just finally get to know the true function of the group?

Wow, stinks about your sister. I hope she comes around. As far as the friend, maybe your ways will rub off on them?


----------



## lil_earthmomma

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 

I moved 3 years ago away from my family and friends to a small town too. Not as small as yours, but less than 2000, and rural. It took me a while to meet people, even now I am by myself most days, but I have found a groove. It gets to me sometimes, but it is getting better. I am sure it will fall in place for you too. It takes time, hang in there!!










Thanks, I needed that.


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lil_earthmomma* 







Thanks, I needed that.

No prob!







Do you live someplace where it snows? Or the weather is also a big change from where you moved?


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

Congrats on the pregnancy ex-pat momma sending sticky vibes your way


----------



## lil_earthmomma

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
No prob!







Do you live someplace where it snows? Or the weather is also a big change from where you moved?

It snows here, but not as much or as cold as the winters where I grew up. The big weather difference is the fog though.







We live on a huge lake that is part of the columbia river and until it gets cold enough, a thick fog covers everything. I've gone weeks without seeing the sun, and I'm not used to that at all. I think it's part of why I'm so blue.


----------



## expat-mama

Thanks for the congrats mamas!


----------



## Shane

expat-mama - congratulations!







: How exciting!

lil_earthmomma - I feel bad for you. I wish you good luck and speed in meeting someone who you connect with. Out of 700 people there must be one person who feels like you do. I hope.

hugzandkissez - Hopefully you will be able to make friends with your group as well as your family despite your differences in parenting styles. Like someone else said, maybe your good qualities can rub off on other parents who might need it.


----------



## hugzandkissez

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shane* 

hugzandkissez - Hopefully you will be able to make friends with your group as well as your family despite your differences in parenting styles. Like someone else said, maybe your good qualities can rub off on other parents who might need it.

I hope so!


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lil_earthmomma* 
It snows here, but not as much or as cold as the winters where I grew up. The big weather difference is the fog though.







We live on a huge lake that is part of the columbia river and until it gets cold enough, a thick fog covers everything. I've gone weeks without seeing the sun, and I'm not used to that at all. I think it's part of why I'm so blue.

No sun would make me blue! I have to get outside at least once a day or I get cabin fever. I know someone who uses some kind of special light to help them during the grey months.


----------



## lil_earthmomma

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
No sun would make me blue! I have to get outside at least once a day or I get cabin fever. I know someone who uses some kind of special light to help them during the grey months.

Funny you should suggest that, my dh was just saying we should check out some sort of sun lamp. He thinks it would really help me not feel so yucky.


----------



## 106657

lil_earthmomma: My friend says it makes a big difference. Really helps them.


----------



## BaBaBa

Where are you earth momma?
Going outside really helps. You need to make the outdoors your friend







:







:







:
I know.
But snowshoeing, skiing even just photography...something to do.


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

I've taken to doing some photography. It really is theraputic


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corbynsmama* 
I've taken to doing some photography. It really is theraputic

Care to share some pics to inspire us?

How are you all doing anyhow? Last time we chatted you were in a tough place... Is Corbyn home?


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

Yeah I can share some pics. We are doing ok. No corbyn isn't home yet but we are working on it. I've been soo busy that I haven't had the chance to post regularily.

http://i126.photobucket.com/albums/p...Corbynsmom.jpg

http://i126.photobucket.com/albums/p...y/SDC10102.jpg

http://i126.photobucket.com/albums/p...y/SDC10105.jpg


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corbynsmama* 
Yeah I can share some pics. We are doing ok. No corbyn isn't home yet but we are working on it. I've been soo busy that I haven't had the chance to post regularily.

http://i126.photobucket.com/albums/p...Corbynsmom.jpg

http://i126.photobucket.com/albums/p...y/SDC10102.jpg

http://i126.photobucket.com/albums/p...y/SDC10105.jpg

OMG!

He is soooo beautifyl









Sending healing vibes his way







:


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

Thank you for the compliments and the vibes


----------



## 2mama

Being a mama has made the friend issue easier for me as they have gotten older. But I still feel like I don't really have any friends. I have "friends" that are my kids friends parents, but no one I would hang out with if it weren't for the kids. I have never made friends easily, I don't really know why. I guess I am more introverted than I let on. I have a hard time approaching people. Also I tend to think of calling and getting in touch with people, but I am a procastenator. I get nervous for a lack of a better word and put it off. I won't call or email unless I know exactly what I want to say.

This sounds like a really bad personal add. One that would make others think wow this person has issues and no self esteem. But that's not really the case. I like who I am and what I have done with my life. I have dreams and aspirations. I am someone, I am a mother, and I am a friend to all, even if I never get the nerve to call!


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2mama* 
Being a mama has made the friend issue easier for me as they have gotten older. But I still feel like I don't really have any friends. I have "friends" that are my kids friends parents, but no one I would hang out with if it weren't for the kids. I have never made friends easily, I don't really know why. I guess I am more introverted than I let on. I have a hard time approaching people. Also I tend to think of calling and getting in touch with people, but I am a procastenator. I get nervous for a lack of a better word and put it off. I won't call or email unless I know exactly what I want to say.

This sounds like a really bad personal add. One that would make others think wow this person has issues and no self esteem. But that's not really the case. I like who I am and what I have done with my life. I have dreams and aspirations. I am someone, I am a mother, and I am a friend to all, even if I never get the nerve to call!









I know what you mean. I really have to make a point of 'scheduling' a phone call or else i never would. I don't really like talking on the phone. DD makes it extremely difficult sometimes because she's very high needs







. I do usually enjoy a phonecall and I'm happy for the mental health break it provides (as long as there aren't too many awkward silences







)
I wouldn't change myself. I quite like who I am too








whereabouts are you?


----------



## I*V*Y*

hello everyone..i haven't read all 47 pages..just a few things here and there...pretty sure this is my tribe. lol.

umm...i'm a very friendly person irl..people consider me their friend easily. alot of times people say they feel so comfortable in talking to me and they wanna hang out. i like them well enough...cept i'm not really a people person. strange i know...i just have a customer service (the good kind) sound/smile to me that makes people relax and feel safe...but i don't feel the same way. i'm actually very leery of people...they tend to lie and back stab more than i'd like...sooo...i have sorta ONE irl lives close to me friend...ONE irlf that lives in another state...and ONE friend i met online..lol. i don't call regularly and i forget birthdays...but i do LOVE my friends.

sooo can i hang out with you guys on occassion??


----------



## BaBaBa

Ivy!


----------



## HrCreuzi

Hi all. I haven't made it through all the pages, but yeah. I'm pretty lonely. We moved recently and I tried making friends in the new local. But all the women I've connected with are too far away for me to do things with (as in hours) or too different. I've even run into animosity that has made me crawl back into my hole and not want to go out again. It's hard because no one goes outside in the winter here. I'm trying to not be married to my laptop, but I'm a very social introvert and if there's no one to interact with in person I revert to electronic and sometimes end up (oh big confession here) not giving DD the attention she needs, wants or deserves.


----------



## faithsstuff

hi all, thought I'd adopt this group. Ummm, I just had our first little one last Tuesday and am doing all right. We moved about two months before he was born and with moving and a pain in the butt pregnancy I never really got to "get out there". I'm pretty sure I"m experiancing quite a bit of culture shock as well. Expect to see me around
peace
faith


----------



## expat-mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *faithsstuff* 
hi all, thought I'd adopt this group. Ummm, I just had our first little one last Tuesday and am doing all right. We moved about two months before he was born and with moving and a pain in the butt pregnancy I never really got to "get out there". I'm pretty sure I"m experiancing quite a bit of culture shock as well. Expect to see me around
peace
faith

Hi Faith,
Congratulations on your new little one!







: and Welcome!

It must be hard moving right before the birth- do you have family nearby?
I'm also planning a move just 2-3 months before our little one gets here in August and I'm anticipating that it'll be a rough time.
Where are you from and where did you move to? Why the culture shock?


----------



## BaBaBa

HrCreuzi and faithstuff

Expat: How's the pregnancy going... any morning sickness? Any feelings yet whether baby's a boy or a girl?


----------



## expat-mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 

Expat: How's the pregnancy going... any morning sickness? Any feelings yet whether baby's a boy or a girl?

Sadly it ended today. We're doing the best we can to get through. Looking forward to trying again and hoping it won't take as long. What a crappy Christmas.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 
Sadly it ended today. We're doing the best we can to get through. Looking forward to trying again and hoping it won't take as long. What a crappy Christmas.

































I am so sorry for your loss.

My thoughts are with you.


----------



## expat-mama

Thanks







.
I hope everyone is having a nice holiday and enjoying family and friends.
This year I feel humbled and the world is surreal to me.

One thing I can surely say is that next year holds a lot of hope in so many different ways. We have a new leader who holds great promise in North America, the economy can hopefully only get better, these wars can only be closer to their ends than to their beginnings, it is a new year and another chance for all good things.
As for me and DH we are hoping the new year brings us another chance to be parents, and along with that so many new beginnings as we move to a new home and start a whole new chapter in our life together.

And, well, next year can't be any WORSE than this year, right?


----------



## brightonwoman

Well, I was looking for a henna-haired tribe, and I found you guys. I would never have classified myself as no-friends until recently. I'm pretty outgoing and friendly, a chatter, make friends pretty easily, etc. A year ago (in the summer) we moved to a tiny remote town in Alaska. As in, there are about 70 people in town, we are 90 miles by ferry or seaplane to get to any city of any size...the seaplane brings the mail and comes most days, weather permitting, and the ferry comes once a month. We are pretty cut off, especially in winter. It's incredibly expensive to travel into Juneau, so we don't. Last year I had a dog-walking buddy, and she and I became great friends...but she's moved now. There are no other young moms in town, and the one lady who has youngish kids works full time (and we have nada in common anyway). So I'm very very alone...I talk on the phone with my sister (indiana) but she's 4hrs later than us, so even the logistics of a phone call can be awkward cuz there's always one of us needing to put a baby to bed or fix a meal or whatever.
There is a little knitting circle here, which I go to regularly, but I have nothing in common with these ladies except the knitting, you know? So I spend too much time every day blogging and on places like MDC trying to make those connections I'm missing, but the increased screen time (and being indoors, and the cold/dark alaska winter) are not helping with my depression either







:
I'm actually usually a pretty perky person, i've just been having a really crummy last few months here. We are planning to move to a bigger city next summer, so I just have to survive until May... I'm counting months










oh, and







to expat mama--I've had a few







too. I was thinking I was pg this month but got my







on tuesday too. What a crummy day all around, huh?


----------



## expat-mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *brightonwoman* 
As in, there are about 70 people in town, we are 90 miles by ferry or seaplane to get to any city of any size...the seaplane brings the mail and comes most days, weather permitting, and the ferry comes once a month. We are pretty cut off, especially in winter.

Wow! Sometimes I think living like this would be great. I can imagine how it would be difficult- you sound like someone who enjoys making connections and getting out and meeting people so that would be hard.
DH and I are kind of isolationists, we are constantly wishing the world would disappear







. We love camping/traveling in remote places and pretending we live there. A few years ago, we took a vacation in Morocco, rented a car and drove around in and camped in the deserted mountains and ended up driving into the Sahara as far as we could go until military personnel at checkpoints told us we had to turn back- there were points when we didn't see anyone or anything for days. It was the best time we'd ever had- we felt like we were on our own planet.
Unfortunately, right now and for the past 5 years we've lived in the 3rd most densely populated place on earth. It's not easy to imagine if you've never been to Asia- but as far as the eye can see there are hundreds of thousands of apartment blocks, each filled with thousands of people, never quiet, never peaceful- cars, buses, trucks, people, people, people- just crowded to the point where you feel like you are always sharing your breathing air!

I dream of living where you are!







Why do you live there? What do you/DH do? Wanna trade?


----------



## brightonwoman

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 
I dream of living where you are!







Why do you live there? What do you/DH do? Wanna trade?









DH is a school teacher--9 students, grades 6-12. He does ok here so long as he's in school, but he's been struggling over break too.
http://www.pelican.net <-- that's where we live.


----------



## peaceatlast

hello! new here , but figure this is the only 'tribe' i kind of fit in!!
hubby works a lot and I'm at home with 2 boys and a dog every day. just moved to cyprus and dont know anyone and havent made any friends so i have no-one!
best friend is back in ireland and I miss her sooooo much but she is 'moving on' with other mum friends!! how dare she !!!lol!

anyhow i have no one to vent to and i find it really hard making friends to begin with so hope to make some on here if I havent became too anti-social already!!









The kids are great but think i may be going slightly insane with only them to talk to....


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 
One thing I can surely say is that next year holds a lot of hope in so many different ways. We have a new leader who holds great promise in North America, the economy can hopefully only get better, these wars can only be closer to their ends than to their beginnings, it is a new year and another chance for all good things.

It is very exciting.
















brightonwoman

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 
DH and I are kind of isolationists, we are constantly wishing the world would disappear







.

That's so funny considering how MUCH of the world you've seen!









Quote:


Originally Posted by *brightonwoman* 
http://www.pelican.net <-- that's where we live.









oh it's beautiful!








: peaceatlast


----------



## brightonwoman

yes, pelican is beautiful. It's just really hard to live here...it'd be awesome to vacation here! But living here is hard, and it is not a good place to raise kids because there are no opportunities for anything.







And I'm just freakin lonely and depressed


----------



## expat-mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *brightonwoman* 
yes, pelican is beautiful. It's just really hard to live here...it'd be awesome to vacation here! But living here is hard, and it is not a good place to raise kids because there are no opportunities for anything.







And I'm just freakin lonely and depressed









very beautiful indeed!







hugs brightonwoman- i really hope you somehow feel better about your situation soon- it's difficult to be in a place where changing the way things are isn't really an option. i've felt like that and found the only thing to do was to change my outlook- much, much easier said than done. it really sucks.
I probably over-romanticize it all, but I imagine where you are would be a wonderful place to raise children. fresh air, having to be so close with family, opportunities to do outdoorsy stuff, surrounded by so much natural beauty. but the grass is always greener, right?









BaBaBa- I suppose it does sound pretty weird that we wish the world would disappear- when I say that I mean people...not the world. Actually the more I travel, the more I see people suffering unbelievably and beautiful places destroyed by people- and like I said, here it's just PEOPLE everywhere constant, never-ending noise, pollution, etc. So it makes sense to me. Maybe I don't really fit with this group- I'm not really "lonely"- just "no friend". I lament the fact that I don't relate well with others, but I normally don't wish to be friends with people with whom I can't relate- I'd much rather be alone.







Meh.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *brightonwoman* 
yes, pelican is beautiful. It's just really hard to live here...it'd be awesome to vacation here! But living here is hard, and it is not a good place to raise kids because there are no opportunities for anything.







And I'm just freakin lonely and depressed

















Yes it must be really hard especially considering how outgoing you describe yourself. Keep faith that you'll find a kindred spirit. You never know who may be lurking in your own community.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 
very beautiful indeed!







hugs brightonwoman- i really hope you somehow feel better about your situation soon- it's difficult to be in a place where changing the way things are isn't really an option. i've felt like that and found the only thing to do was to change my outlook- much, much easier said than done. it really sucks.
I probably over-romanticize it all, but I imagine where you are would be a wonderful place to raise children. fresh air, having to be so close with family, opportunities to do outdoorsy stuff, surrounded by so much natural beauty. but the grass is always greener, right?









BaBaBa- I suppose it does sound pretty weird that we wish the world would disappear- when I say that I mean people...not the world. Actually the more I travel, the more I see people suffering unbelievably and beautiful places destroyed by people- and like I said, here it's just PEOPLE everywhere constant, never-ending noise, pollution, etc. So it makes sense to me. Maybe I don't really fit with this group- I'm not really "lonely"- just "no friend". I lament the fact that I don't relate well with others, but I normally don't wish to be friends with people with whom I can't relate- I'd much rather be alone.







Meh.

I second what you said ExPat. When you're given a set of circumstances that you can't change the only way to cope is to change your outlook. But, that is so much easier said than done. It's okay to get depressed, wallow in it but the time eventually comes when you need to make a choice to stay that way or change.

It's interesting following this thread the number of people that post in their most desperate moments and then we never see them again. I'm sure they're just moving on with their lives. I'm happy where I am now. I really am. But I'm a person who has never had too much of a problem being alone. Though, having a child does magnify your isolation somehow.

And ExPat, you know I was teasing







I know exactly what you mean. I think I'd have had a nervous breakdown by now if I was where you are. I like to visit the city but not live there. It just doesn't seem natural to me to be so close to so many people and not know them.

Don't change a thing about yourself! Alone is not the same as lonely.









Now you'll have to excuse me... I have a lot of bills to pay and laundry to do today


----------



## brightonwoman

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 







Yes it must be really hard especially considering how outgoing you describe yourself. Keep faith that you'll find a kindred spirit. You never know who may be lurking in your own community.
(

unfortunately, in a town with only 70 people, I actually do know who's here...so my light at the end of the tunnel is knowing that we're moving this summer.







: that DH gets a job sooner rather than later, so we'll know where we're going!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Though, having a child does magnify your isolation somehow.

It's interesting how the same thing can have the opposite effect...for me, having a little one around keeps me busy and gives me something to do--if I did not have my LO I would be a wreck!


----------



## BaBaBa

It's good to have a light at the end of the tunnel. You can almost count the days. Winter must be especially hard up there with the lack of sun. It's pretty exciting not knowing where you're moving to.
I moved a lot as a kid and though my parents told me I hated it I actually only have fond memories of it. I'm thankful for all those places I saw and experiences I had.
I could very well be in the minority about feeling isolated with a LO. Maybe it's because I've really struggled with the loss of my identity or rather rebirth of a new person, a mom, that has made it so hard at times and made me want to reach out to others if only to compare experiences.
...and what is henna - haired?


----------



## brightonwoman

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
...and what is henna - haired?









I have henna in my hair







It makes it red, which is why a lot of people use it. For me the color was actually sortof the downside--the reason I waited so long to do it (I thought about it for 2 years before taking the plunge, cuz it's permanent color, and I have long hair, so cutting it off if I hated it would be years of length lost...) Anyway, henna helps strengthen/protect hair. I have almost no split ends anymore, plus my hair is thicker and growing longer than it ever has--I feel like it's healthier and that that's why it's able to grow longer now than it ever has before (it's almsot to my hips.














I actually recently started a long hair mamas tribe, and we've been talking about henna there a little bit...


----------



## faithsstuff

hey all, i hope everyone is surviving the holiday season with the required family and good cheer







. that may not come across the way I intended, but then again it may have.

ou r little guy is 3 weeks old now and already losing his newborn look...here's a question. I've always considered my self strong, willful, independant. I moved to the big city from the rural South to experiance it. I staffed a mens shelter, have been an active community organizer, done CD and in general have worked to break down my own barriers/fears and be in solidarity with others. (I odviously miss being an active activist) But this mother-thing has thrown me for a loop. ANy of y'all know what I mean? I have to say I"m a bit tired to go discovering myself again at the moment. Any words of wisdom?
faith


----------



## KBinSATX

I think it's tough because any new friend doesn't just have to be a match for us but the kids have to be somewhat compatible as well (like it's tough to become friends with another mom if their kid always hits yours, etc.)


----------



## BaBaBa

What is going on in the world right now?!?! I've been tuned out to world news for a while now and I'm just hearing about what's going on in the Middle East. Yuck! Doesn't anyone want peace? Here's hoping for some courageous, insightful new leadership in the world for 2009.

DH is off with DD for the better part of the day







:







:







:
...and it's a good thing too because I've already discovered that he threw a heap of dirty diapers and wipes in the laundry hamper







: What was he thinking?!?!?! I should cool down in a few hours.







:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *brightonwoman* 
I have henna in my hair







It makes it red, which is why a lot of people use it. For me the color was actually sortof the downside--the reason I waited so long to do it (I thought about it for 2 years before taking the plunge, cuz it's permanent color, and I have long hair, so cutting it off if I hated it would be years of length lost...) Anyway, henna helps strengthen/protect hair. I have almost no split ends anymore, plus my hair is thicker and growing longer than it ever has--I feel like it's healthier and that that's why it's able to grow longer now than it ever has before (it's almsot to my hips.














I actually recently started a long hair mamas tribe, and we've been talking about henna there a little bit...

Oh i'd never hear of that. I was confused with the henna (I think) that you can 'tatoo' with. Sounds interesting. My hair is down to my arm pits. I often have days when I just want to cut it all of...I'm just not ready for mom hair yet though I think it would be so much easier. My mum never let me have long hair. I still remember other kids saying to me 'Are you a boy?'. It was humiliating. Maybe that's why I want to hang on to it. I've always had the fantasy of shaving my head and having a room full of all kinds of wigs that I could wear a different one every day depending on my mood.
Sadly, I only really get a chance to get my hair cut about once a year. I don't wash it very often either (twice a week?). Somedays I don't even brush it







but that's life with a toddler. It's healthy enough just a bit of a mess. My dad used to have a show dog and it's long hair was kept in oil so it didn't matt up. I think I need something like that for myself









Quote:


Originally Posted by *faithsstuff* 
hey all, i hope everyone is surviving the holiday season with the required family and good cheer







. that may not come across the way I intended, but then again it may have.

ou r little guy is 3 weeks old now and already losing his newborn look...here's a question. I've always considered my self strong, willful, independant. I moved to the big city from the rural South to experiance it. I staffed a mens shelter, have been an active community organizer, done CD and in general have worked to break down my own barriers/fears and be in solidarity with others. (I odviously miss being an active activist) But this mother-thing has thrown me for a loop. ANy of y'all know what I mean? I have to say I"m a bit tired to go discovering myself again at the moment. Any words of wisdom?
faith

Oh yes! Plenty of cheer here to go around









I totally know what you mean. It's been 2 years now for me and it's been a journey every step of the way. You really do lose and even grieve for your old self. Think of it as a rebirth, a phoenix rising from the ashes or just the forging of a new, wiser identity. You don't have to aggressively rediscover yourself just turn inward and observe. Maybe you'd find it helpful to consider it a sabbatical? I had no interest in community work prior to DD but I find myself very interested now in the idea of helping immigrants assimilate in to the community. So you never know what inspiration or new drives will come out during this time.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KBinSATX* 
I think it's tough because any new friend doesn't just have to be a match for us but the kids have to be somewhat compatible as well (like it's tough to become friends with another mom if their kid always hits yours, etc.)

Totally! They need to be the same age as well.


----------



## brightonwoman

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Oh i'd never hear of that. I was confused with the henna (I think) that you can 'tatoo' with. Sounds interesting. My hair is down to my arm pits. I often have days when I just want to cut it all of...I'm just not ready for mom hair yet though I think it would be so much easier. My mum never let me have long hair. I still remember other kids saying to me 'Are you a boy?'. It was humiliating. Maybe that's why I want to hang on to it. I've always had the fantasy of shaving my head and having a room full of all kinds of wigs that I could wear a different one every day depending on my mood.
Sadly, I only really get a chance to get my hair cut about once a year. I don't wash it very often either (twice a week?). Somedays I don't even brush it







but that's life with a toddler. It's healthy enough just a bit of a mess. My dad used to have a show dog and it's long hair was kept in oil so it didn't matt up. I think I need something like that for myself









Hair henna is exactly the same stuff used for body art--just goomped in your hair instead of painted on your skin. Actually I usually end up with a few spots on my skin near my hairline and for a day or two I look vaguely like one of those strange aliens from star trek







:
I have found that the longer my hair gets, the less often I need to wash it. I wash about once a week (7-8 days) now. I used to wash twice a week but rather than watching teh calendar, I just started washing it when it felt dirty, and over the course of a year or so that just got longer and longer... my hair never looks greasy, and only feels greasy on the last day (when I wash it).
I cut my hair to armpit length a couple yrs ago, because I had a lot of split ends and things and just needed to start fresh, with all healthy hair. I found that shorter hair took a lot MORE time and effort than my long hair does. Sure, brushing was a little faster, and making an actual braid went faster...but I had to wash it more often, and it was harder to twist it up into a bun or something because there wasnt' enough of it to stay!
I have not brushed my hair in over 3 years.














I only comb it--it's done wonders for reducing frizz and split ends and making it smoother and shinier.


----------



## BaBaBa

any pics?


----------



## expat-mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
What is going on in the world right now?!?! I've been tuned out to world news for a while now and I'm just hearing about what's going on in the Middle East. Yuck! Doesn't anyone want peace? Here's hoping for some courageous, insightful new leadership in the world for 2009.

I totally know what you mean. It's been 2 years now for me and it's been a journey every step of the way. You really do lose and even grieve for your old self. Think of it as a rebirth, a phoenix rising from the ashes or just the forging of a new, wiser identity. You don't have to aggressively rediscover yourself just turn inward and observe. Maybe you'd find it helpful to consider it a sabbatical? I had no interest in community work prior to DD but I find myself very interested now in the idea of helping immigrants assimilate in to the community. So you never know what inspiration or new drives will come out during this time.

Gah, I know... the whole thing makes my stomach turn. My husband is the only one who believes me when I say- seeing this kind of war and conflict, people suffering- it makes me literally sick. I can only read about so many bombings, dead victims, etc. before I have to turn away or be sick. I think it's some kind of abnormal stress reaction but I've been this way since I was a kid.
Anyway, yes, let's hope things will get better in this new year.









I've heard lots about these feelings that come when you have a babe or two. I'm not sure I can imagine myself feeling this way though. I've looked forward to having a kid so much and wanted and waited for it sooo long- there are so many changes that I look forward to and some that I feel I've already made. Right now, I sort of feel like I'm in this in-between stage- forced to keep living the life of my old (non-mama) self while I wait to become my new-mama self. Sometimes, especially lately, this in-between self is really, really hard to nail-down. I'm sooooo ready to evolve from my old self! I'm sure I'll miss things...but I'm ready. Sigh.







I guess I won't know 'till I get there. It's nice reading about everyone's "mama experiences" though.


----------



## ernalala

Hi. Here another mama with no real friends around. Maybe not lonely, but mostly alone.
I like being alone at times, but not ALL the time .
I'm also an expat mama, I went to live with my dh in his country when we married. And how much I feel like I became more or less accustomed to my life here and my surroundings, I will always be an outsider because of my roots, language, culture...
Our home is our shelter where we do thi,ngs our own way, and especially mine, where I can actually totally be my 'own style and culture' mixed with the intercultural part that of course involves our family.
I find that my life got much more isolated after having birthed my first and especially second (trhey are now almost 3 and almost 5), but on the other hand they are my reason to (have to) get out of the house more often . Which işs not always easy when you HAVE to and lo doesnt want to...








My real best/good friends are still the ones I left behind in my home country.
Sounds sad doesn't it.
Somehow I find it hard to find real friends here, like the ones you really can say anything and have a good laugh once in a while and knowing the friendship is always there even if you don't happen to see each other for a (long) while. The people whom I could relate with best live at the other end of town so not really a chance to get to know them much better than on occasional get togethers.
My husband is of coure such real friend too. But it's not the same as a bf outside of the family. Since parenting started we are not only in a 'love relationship' but also bonded in our parenting and that makes it more complicated, we're not only best friends and each oters love anymore, we see each other as parents ıykwım.

I also whent through a process of rebirthing myself, I felt really like a mothering unattractive uninteresting wreck at times, lol, now I can laugh about that. I had very long unkempt hair I felt fat and ugly and I've been most likely been suffering from ppd and pms (2 times). Last year I happened to suddenly loose some weight and got my hair cut much shorter and trendy (NOT really short moms hair, MY 'moms hair' was the long splitted version my dh and kids actually were at first shocked about the change but I felt SO GOOD about it that didn't care  I actually feel attractive and desirable again at this point and also so much more self-confident, as a mother and as a person, and deefinitely as a woman. I probably am still in this ongoing process. But I find myself much stronger because of some hardship of the postnatal experience.

I also became even much more sensitive to 'the news' then I was before. I have not been regularly watching the news since I gave birth to my first son. Sometimes I just get informed about sth through my dh. I really feel much more connected to all the pain and the suffering and injustice in this world than ever. Knowing that it is REALITY.

And while before I became pregnant I was able to watch really creepy horror movies, I now loathe those. I cant see how anyone can have fun in watching a movie that's ONLY about people being in fear, getting badly hurt/killed and haunted and with lots of blood. I do watch some series/movies with violent aspects, and can only watch when it is not all the movie so. And still consider 'shall I watch the series further or shall I quit'.

And what's really been a life-saver for me is such groups as here on mothering to talk and find out about parenting and lifestyle philosophies, and people thinking alike or giving great advice. I'm so thankful that the internet exists. And that we got a broadband connection since a year . And a dvdplayer (our CDplayer was broken) and finally also a radio in the kitchen to add some life and fun to my days with the kids. I feel more connected to the outside world than ever, even though it is partly a virtual experience.
I feel lucky to be an expat these days, with the possibility of the internet. It makes this kind of life so much easier in so many ways.

I am alone at times, lonely very sometimes, but I am not an actual 'lonely mama' anymore.
But the thread is appealing in many ways. I do fit in.

Happy New Year to all.


----------



## BaBaBa

Yeah listening to the news is really discouraging. I'm so glad we don't have a TV so we don't have the images coming into the home.

I don't pretend to have all the answers, maybe I'm naive or ignorant but I really believe all this violence just keeps the cycle going. For every family or home destroyed by military violence it just perpetuates the hatred and violence in future generations. Is that so far fetched? Why don't world leaders recognize this? Don't we want peace?

It really makes the human race seem like just another stupid beast... and the fact that so much violence is committed in the name of religion confounds me. I don't care what religion someone is, shouldn't the 'spiritual' among us be leaders for peace?

Well that's my rant.

Welcome ernalala. We have a lot in common. Stick around









It's always been my fantasy to escape to a foreign land where no one knows me but I guess the reality is not so sweet.

It was interesting for me to hear about how your viewing tastes changed after having kids. The same thing happened to me. I just can't tolerate violence anymore.


----------



## ernalala

About the henna, it's often used here for painting/caring for the hair, hands, and for wedding and other rituals. But I do not like the bright colour effect it has on ones hair and body so I do not use it myself, it's also never really sure what colour the henna will leave when washed out , it can be from bright orange to very dark red and it's different on every person's hair. My neighbours do it on each other's hair. Nowadays more women have their hair painted chemically at the hairdresser's, but also with henna.

Oh yes, I used to colour my hair (with a shampoo) from when was 16 until I got pregnant at 26, and then got more concerned at possible chemicals of the paint entering my body and possibly harming my baby. So I had this paint growing out and it didn't look like anything. Now I keep it's natural colour, for as long as I may have it, still without any grey, I learned to enjoy my own colour more . It's a darkblonde/light brown colour which is very plain/common in my home country, however in this other country where I live, it is found much more special/different and people sometimes even think it's not real . I like to be slightly different rather than blending in the big mass lol.


----------



## BaBaBa

Where are you ernalala? and where are you originally from?

I'm in south central Ontario, Canada.

I was born in Canada but spent much of my childhood in the UK. I recently moved from city life in Toronto to being full time in the country on a hobby farm and I love it!


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## brightonwoman

I do have pics of my henna...I just took them this last week actually (I got henna for christmas, so I just re-did it--it had been over a year) I'll be posting them on my blog this week hopefully. When I get it up I can PM the link to you BaBaBa if you'd like, but I'm not supposed to post my URL on threads or in my sig because the blog has a link to my etsy shop, so posting it publically is advertizing and is a UAV.









One note on using henna--using a natural dye (like henna) can conflict with using a synthetic one (like at a salon or from a box)...so if you have one type in your hair, definitely consult with a professional before using the other type...unless you're ok with your hair turning green or something weird!


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## BaBaBa

Oh yes! yes! yes! Please do PM me that link.

And also, what do you sell on etsy? Wool mittens per chance?


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## ernalala

I'm from Belgium. Live in Turkey now, for 8,5 years now so most of my adult life.


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## BaBaBa

Oh wow! That must be complete and utter culture shock. I can't imagine how hard that must have been to adapt.
It must give you a tremendous insight on culture.
Are you settled there for good?


----------



## brightonwoman

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Oh yes! yes! yes! Please do PM me that link.

And also, what do you sell on etsy? Wool mittens per chance?

I'm not supposed to talk about it here... no, I don't do mittens, but (I think I can say this here







) if you search 'mdc' on etsy, you will find items from other MDC members








I can PM you with more specific info


----------



## BaBaBa

Oh cool!

I know there's an etsy tribe here. I posted once asking if any members made whatever I was looking for at the time but I never got any responses.
It never occurred to me to use MDC as a search term.
What are your 'hobbies'?















I'd love it if you could PM me details


----------



## expat-mama

BaBaBa- I completely agree with you about the mid-east violence...violence brings more violence, hatred, revenge. Think of all those young children and babies experience this that will grow new feelings of hatred in their little hearts after seeing so much death and destruction and pain. It's so awful. Someone has got to step in- I know the "politics" of the situation are complicated, but there has to be a point when all of that is put aside for the good of humanity and the violence must end. It's all so unbalanced and one-sided IMHO...there can be no excuse or reason for killing people, especially not retaliation.

Also, I didn't know you had a hobby farm- what do you grow/raise? I've always wanted chickens...









Ernalala- Where in Turkey are you? Do you work there? DH and I almost accepted positions in Istanbul a couple of years ago but it didn't work out. I've only been in the airport in Turkey, but I spent some time traveling with a Turkish couple in India and they were just about the nicest most brilliant people I've ever met. They really made me want to visit Turkey and I'm still in touch with them so I just might someday! Such an interesting place, where Asia meets Europe...

About the henna- my mom used to use henna. She's a natural redhead but when I was a teenager her hair started to turn mousy and a bit grey and she used henna to brighten it up! She really liked it and I remember liking the smell- it was really natural and earthy and I think they added some natural floral scents to it too.


----------



## Shane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *faithsstuff* 
hey all, i hope everyone is surviving the holiday season with the required family and good cheer







. that may not come across the way I intended, but then again it may have.

ou r little guy is 3 weeks old now and already losing his newborn look...here's a question. I've always considered my self strong, willful, independant. I moved to the big city from the rural South to experiance it. I staffed a mens shelter, have been an active community organizer, done CD and in general have worked to break down my own barriers/fears and be in solidarity with others. (I odviously miss being an active activist) But this mother-thing has thrown me for a loop. ANy of y'all know what I mean? I have to say I"m a bit tired to go discovering myself again at the moment. Any words of wisdom?
faith

I know exactly what you mean. Before kids I was so confident _Independent Women_ by Destiney's Child was my theme song. I always wanted to be a SAHM but am constantly feeling like I need to find myself in this. I too am from the South and moved all over the country, including NY city. I lived right in the heart of Manhattan. It was fun. I think the economy has a part to play because having money means having more freedom to explore and find something that you can connect with and share with your kids. Not having money means putting more effort into finding that connection on a budget, maybe with only one car. And there's only so much small kids can do. I can give you some words of comfort. It gets easier with each passing day. Pretty soon they're playing by themselves for a few min a day, and the next thing you know they're ready to take to the ski slopes. And while right now, 3 or 4 years seems like a long way off, when it gets here you are going to cry because you know that means they are that much closer to being too big to carry around anymore. I envy the women that seem to carry on with their life as if nothing changed except for the cute little bundle being worn in their cute fashionable sling. I tried it, I felt stretched thin. Sometimes focusing my days on the kids feels like my brain is turning to mush. I sing Barney songs when I'm alone. But I know that soon I'm going want them to spend more time with me and instead I'm going to need to get a hobby while they hang out with their friends. I just try to remember that.

What I mean by this is for me, I did my volunteer work at places that have a age requirement. With the kids, it's hard to find stuff when they are soo small. But as they get bigger you'll be able to find more. Like visiting nursing homes with homemade holiday cards when they are big enough to color. I learned how to make slings and know that there are women all over the world who could use one, but don't have the resources to do so. Luckily my sister is a missionary and can deliver them for me to women who need them. That's something I learned when my first born was an infant and I was bored of watching and waiting for him to roll over. Right now, I'm beginning to feel a tug on my heart for victims of the child sex trade here in the United States. Atlanta is supposedly the capital of the child sex trade here in the U.S. and I feel like there is something I should be doing to help these girls. That is what I want to do right now. I just don't know how yet.


----------



## Shane

Hey friends!
I've missed connecting with y'all. Ever since Thanksgiving we've either been out of town, had family in town, or been sick. So I haven't gotten on this computer very much. But we had a great holiday season. In fact, I think I got my marriage back for Christmas. Before the holiday I told Daniel I wanted to be treated like an equal. I pointed out some areas, including finances, where I was being treated unfairly and he agreed and came up with a budget that I am happy with. I don't know, but I think that very conversation had something to do with the return of my libido. Or Santa left that in my stocking for me, because I actually feel passion for my husband again. 2.5 years after the birth of our daughter. I wonder if time since giving birth has anything to do with it. Of course the fact that he has a good job again, & we're paying the bills again probably has something to do with it too. A month ago I really thought I would never have a sex drive again. And let me just say, it's only helping our marriage and resolution of our conflicts. Thank God for this. I honestly thought the rest of my life was going to be spent as a "dutiful wife". But God has answered my prayers and given me a miracle, being _in love_ with my husband again. I'm so glad I didn't leave him.


----------



## mama-to-mase

Hi there! I am new to this thread but not mothering as I have been lurking for some time. I am so lonly right now!!!! I have social anxiety and have always had a hard time making and keeping friends. I had one mama friend that I talked to a few times a month but we recently moved to a new area and have only met a few people in passing. What I wouldn't give to meet someone to just hang out with besides my husband.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 
Also, I didn't know you had a hobby farm- what do you grow/raise? I've always wanted chickens...









Our fields are leased out to a Mennonite farmer who grows organic grains. We have 2 horses and a Boer goat that are pets. Silver Laced Wyandotte chickens and a Great Pyrenese dog that guards everyone. We used to have English Large Black pigs but the last one went to the butcher on Tuesday. (Always a bit weird for me because I'm vegetarian







) I'm very interested in heritage/endangered livestock breeds). We've had to scale back a bit. It's too much for me to take care of on my own, especially during the winter. We have a great vegetable garden too but it has been sadly neglected the past couple of years. Hopefully this summer DD will be old enough to help.

I love chickens too! There are so calming to watch strutting about the lawn in the summer and they require very little care.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shane* 
I know exactly what you mean. Before kids I was so confident _Independent Women_ by Destiney's Child was my theme song. I always wanted to be a SAHM but am constantly feeling like I need to find myself in this. I too am from the South and moved all over the country, including NY city. I lived right in the heart of Manhattan. It was fun. I think the economy has a part to play because having money means having more freedom to explore and find something that you can connect with and share with your kids. Not having money means putting more effort into finding that connection on a budget, maybe with only one car. And there's only so much small kids can do. I can give you some words of comfort. It gets easier with each passing day. Pretty soon they're playing by themselves for a few min a day, and the next thing you know they're ready to take to the ski slopes. And while right now, 3 or 4 years seems like a long way off, when it gets here you are going to cry because you know that means they are that much closer to being too big to carry around anymore. I envy the women that seem to carry on with their life as if nothing changed except for the cute little bundle being worn in their cute fashionable sling. I tried it, I felt stretched thin. Sometimes focusing my days on the kids feels like my brain is turning to mush. I sing Barney songs when I'm alone. But I know that soon I'm going want them to spend more time with me and instead I'm going to need to get a hobby while they hang out with their friends. I just try to remember that.

What I mean by this is for me, I did my volunteer work at places that have a age requirement. With the kids, it's hard to find stuff when they are soo small. But as they get bigger you'll be able to find more. Like visiting nursing homes with homemade holiday cards when they are big enough to color. I learned how to make slings and know that there are women all over the world who could use one, but don't have the resources to do so. Luckily my sister is a missionary and can deliver them for me to women who need them. That's something I learned when my first born was an infant and I was bored of watching and waiting for him to roll over. Right now, I'm beginning to feel a tug on my heart for victims of the child sex trade here in the United States. Atlanta is supposedly the capital of the child sex trade here in the U.S. and I feel like there is something I should be doing to help these girls. That is what I want to do right now. I just don't know how yet.

What a wonderful post.







You've lifted my spirits today as I'm going through a particularly rough time with 'motherhood' right now.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shane* 
Hey friends!
I've missed connecting with y'all. Ever since Thanksgiving we've either been out of town, had family in town, or been sick. So I haven't gotten on this computer very much. But we had a great holiday season. In fact, I think I got my marriage back for Christmas. Before the holiday I told Daniel I wanted to be treated like an equal. I pointed out some areas, including finances, where I was being treated unfairly and he agreed and came up with a budget that I am happy with. I don't know, but I think that very conversation had something to do with the return of my libido. Or Santa left that in my stocking for me, because I actually feel passion for my husband again. 2.5 years after the birth of our daughter. I wonder if time since giving birth has anything to do with it. Of course the fact that he has a good job again, & we're paying the bills again probably has something to do with it too. A month ago I really thought I would never have a sex drive again. And let me just say, it's only helping our marriage and resolution of our conflicts. Thank God for this. I honestly thought the rest of my life was going to be spent as a "dutiful wife". But God has answered my prayers and given me a miracle, being _in love_ with my husband again. I'm so glad I didn't leave him.

...and welcome back.







: I thought we'd lost you








I'm so happy to hear about your marriage. It's easy to fall into the trap of believing it should always be a bed of roses but I think all marriages go through rough seasons.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mama-to-mase* 
Hi there! I am new to this thread but not mothering as I have been lurking for some time. I am so lonly right now!!!! I have social anxiety and have always had a hard time making and keeping friends. I had one mama friend that I talked to a few times a month but we recently moved to a new area and have only met a few people in passing. What I wouldn't give to meet someone to just hang out with besides my husband.










Hang out with us


----------



## ernalala

You know what is most frustrating about this thread???

It seems that we ALL want to find a close friend to 'hang out with' and the irony is that we all have that need (and I guess quite some in common being here on MDC, despite all our other differences) BUT we all live so far away from each other that we can't be the one 'to hang out with' for each other.

Now I don't know if I should laugh or cry about that







.


----------



## BaBaBa

Sometimes I wonder if that's WHY many of us are on this thread. It's so much easier to make friends on line than IRL. There's also a 'speed dating' aspect to it where you can ascertain quickly who in a large pool of people you think you have the most in common with. Plus, it's a lot easier to walk away if it doesn't work out.

I've certainly had my dark, desperate hours but when I take a good look at myself I know that I am an introvert by nature. Although I think I'm very nice







I'm not overly friendly and you have to kick me in the pants to get me out of the house. Also, an interesting characteristic of introverts is that they become physically exhausted by social interaction. Even DH experience that with me. I will just shut down and he can't even have a conversation with me. It is really annoying to him.

But I am trying to make an effort in my community for the sake of DD and because I do think it's healthy. Studies show that people with friends live longer.

I've met some wonderful mamas on MDC. Both 'out there' and IRL. Is there a tribal area for Turkey? I've got to believe there's someone near you. I was shocked and amazed to find another MDC mama a relative stone's throw from me.

I stick around this thread because I really find the people and their situations interesting. I think most of us here are one of two types. 1) Normally outgoing with friends but finding themselves due to a move or other upheaval distanced from their friends 2) Introverted, loner types who are ok with their situations but still enjoy 'safe' low maintenance social interaction.


----------



## Shane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mama-to-mase* 
Hi there! I am new to this thread but not mothering as I have been lurking for some time. I am so lonly right now!!!! I have social anxiety and have always had a hard time making and keeping friends. I had one mama friend that I talked to a few times a month but we recently moved to a new area and have only met a few people in passing. What I wouldn't give to meet someone to just hang out with besides my husband.

Yeah, stick around here. You might even find out one of us lives close enough to hang out.


----------



## Shane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 








Sometimes I wonder if that's WHY many of us are on this thread. It's so much easier to make friends on line than IRL. There's also a 'speed dating' aspect to it where you can ascertain quickly who in a large pool of people you think you have the most in common with. Plus, it's a lot easier to walk away if it doesn't work out.

So true, so true. I know that in times when I've had close friends I've come to find out that we all seem to feel that we never have enough. That most of us felt that we didn't have a "best" friend. And we'd vow to be each other's and then we'd go on about not calling each other very often and not seeing each other any more than we already did. Sometimes I think about that and decide that if all I did was talk to people I'd find out they were looking for a friend too. So I do, and usually get strange looks and leave feeling like I probably should be more embarassed than I am. The truth is, since having kids I just don't seem to know what to talk to people about anymore. And I think that boils down to the fact that I don't really care about anybody outside of my family as much as I used to. I know that's not good, but it's just true. People talk to me, and I can't remember what they said. When it was just me I remembered everything everybody said. Was good with names. Was interested in people and their lives a lot more than I am now. I've been going to church with the same 40 people for 1 year now and couldn't even pick some of them out in a photo line up let alone tell you more than 10 names. So yeah, making friends here is easier for sure, and if I can't remember who said what I can just scroll down. I don't have to feel guilt for not calling often enough or getting together often enough, or having a dirty house.


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## BaBaBa

Very insightful, and true Shane!

I'm sure I make a lousy friend IRL.

Anyone got any exciting plans for the weekend?


----------



## Mimi

bababa, you'd make a fantastic friend in real life as well, & i would not kick you in the pants;
convince dh to move over here already, i MISS you!!!
<3


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *herewearetogether* 
bababa, you'd make a fantastic friend in real life as well, & i would not kick you in the pants;
convince dh to move over here already, i MISS you!!!
<3


----------



## faithsstuff

Hey there ladies (I'm making an assumption), I"ve been itching to get back on the comp! The last of our visitors just left and I'm somewhat relieved and much lonelier







. The little dude is 5 weeks old and the doc commented on his smile and hairy-like-a-wookie head. We managed to stray from the house to a political discussion last night. It was nice to feel like a grown up. lol, I don't know what my point is, I have to meet some more grown ups soon. o.k., I have to end this as I odviously have no direction right now
peace to all
faith in atl


----------



## expat-mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *faithsstuff* 
We managed to stray from the house to a political discussion last night.

When you say political discussion, what kind of event was it? I'm just wonderin'.

Lately, I'm finding it harder and harder to engage in political discussion with people. Unless they are completely like-minded, of course.









I was and have always been very passionate about lots of different political and social issues, but lately I find it all almost too emotionally taxing. I don't know why- perhaps because as I get older there are more things in my personal life that are also emotionally draining and require so much of me and when I was younger it wasn't like that. My mother used to tell me when I was younger, "you'll see when you get older- you can't get so wrapped up in changing the world, you have to live your life" etc.
What do you guys think? Is she right? Is this what's happening? I always thought she was full of it and had just given up like everyone else who used to "stand for something" in the 60s.







It makes me sad.

Anyway, I'm rambling... I'm just thinking about this because of some draining discussions about the Israeli/Gaza war that I've had recently. I just feel like I don't have the mental and emotional "juice" for it, though it affects me deeply, down to my core.


----------



## ernalala

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 
When you say political discussion, what kind of event was it? I'm just wonderin'.

Lately, I'm finding it harder and harder to engage in political discussion with people. Unless they are completely like-minded, of course.









I was and have always been very passionate about lots of different political and social issues, but lately I find it all almost too emotionally taxing. I don't know why- perhaps because as I get older there are more things in my personal life that are also emotionally draining and require so much of me and when I was younger it wasn't like that. My mother used to tell me when I was younger, "you'll see when you get older- you can't get so wrapped up in changing the world, you have to live your life" etc.
What do you guys think? Is she right? Is this what's happening? I always thought she was full of it and had just given up like everyone else who used to "stand for something" in the 60s.







It makes me sad.

Anyway, I'm rambling... I'm just thinking about this because of some draining discussions about the Israeli/Gaza war that I've had recently. I just feel like I don't have the mental and emotional "juice" for it, though it affects me deeply, down to my core.

I can totally relate to you.
My inside is heated with topics for discussion but I do feel that I am that emotionally loaded and also powerless in the situation of being a SAHM of two little kids to be able to DO anything to help out where I can. And living my life because it's just impossible to leave that life to go and change the world and have no idea how to actually combine these two things.
I'm desperate to do donations or give blood to the needy (gaza, but there's other conflicts too cfr somalia for example) but it seems like local organisations are also incapable of doing sth. So where do I stand then?
I am VERY BAD in discussing face to face. Either I'm very bad at wording what is really been thought inside of me, or I am just too emotional. And I'm not a very verbal person either. But I can WRITE about it, I'm much better in written arguments lol, and I've lately been in some online discussions at least .
As a student, with only responsability to finish your year succesfully, it was very easy to take the step to go in a protest march or event or sth. Not that that happened often. Now I would not dare to take my kids out in a protest action on the streets. Especially NOT in THIS country...you never know how such an action will evolve it can be nasty.

I'm happy my child's pre-school decided to raise some money for Gaza humanitarian crisis. Even though a very very small initiative, these people want to make a difference. Maybe the money will never even get where it will be effective. But through helping my son donate I feel like I teach him something important without having to take him on the streets. I'm looking into another way of helping out through an organisation directly though. Seems like UN offices/personnel are not collecting anything at the moment so I guess going for red cross would be best.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 
My mother used to tell me when I was younger, "you'll see when you get older- you can't get so wrapped up in changing the world, you have to live your life" etc.
What do you guys think? Is she right? Is this what's happening? I always thought she was full of it and had just given up like everyone else who used to "stand for something" in the 60s.







It makes me sad.

I think your mom was right for HER.

I don't think there is one correct approach for everyone. We can all work for positive change in this world and we don't all have to conform to the definition of 'activist' to do it.

Some of us are born 'warriors for peace'. These are the people who put themselves on the front line for their causes They fight for change, stand up for their beliefs and can be wounded (psychically or emotionally) in their efforts.

There are others who are more passive in their approach. They may take 'smaller' causes within their community or even affect positive change by their lifestyle and their daily dealings with others. Or, they may be artists or writers, raising consciousness. It could be as basic as raising a child to be a compassionate adult with a sense of justice.

Both kinds of people have a place for positive change.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ernalala* 
I can totally relate to you.
My inside is heated with topics for discussion but I do feel that I am that emotionally loaded and also powerless in the situation of being a SAHM of two little kids to be able to DO anything to help out where I can. And living my life because it's just impossible to leave that life to go and change the world and have no idea how to actually combine these two things.
I'm desperate to do donations or give blood to the needy (gaza, but there's other conflicts too cfr somalia for example) but it seems like local organisations are also incapable of doing sth. So where do I stand then?
I am VERY BAD in discussing face to face. Either I'm very bad at wording what is really been thought inside of me, or I am just too emotional. And I'm not a very verbal person either. But I can WRITE about it, I'm much better in written arguments lol, and I've lately been in some online discussions at least .
As a student, with only responsability to finish your year succesfully, it was very easy to take the step to go in a protest march or event or sth. Not that that happened often. Now I would not dare to take my kids out in a protest action on the streets. Especially NOT in THIS country...you never know how such an action will evolve it can be nasty.

I'm happy my child's pre-school decided to raise some money for Gaza humanitarian crisis. Even though a very very small initiative, these people want to make a difference. Maybe the money will never even get where it will be effective. But through helping my son donate I feel like I teach him something important without having to take him on the streets. I'm looking into another way of helping out through an organisation directly though. Seems like UN offices/personnel are not collecting anything at the moment so I guess going for red cross would be best.


Have you thought about amnesty international?

http://www.amnesty.org/

I used to write letters for them when I was in high school. They have letter writing campaigns that are so easy even children can be involved.


----------



## ernalala

Yes I did those amnesty letters too.

Finally, today, the local UN refugee office decided to do a collection which they will pass on to UNRWA!! It's mainly personnel and relatives who will be donating (like us , it took somewhat long if you ask me... But this is the most effective way to get sth to Gaza, via the there local UN relief agency. That unfortunately got attacked too...unbelievable







:














:







.


----------



## expat-mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ernalala* 
But this is the most effective way to get sth to Gaza, via the there local UN relief agency. That unfortunately got attacked too...unbelievable







:














:







.

Unbelievable, indeed.







The war crimes are mounting day by day- when will anyone step in to STOP this? I have VERY mixed opinions about the UN...it has the POTENTIAL to be such an important body in the world...but it seems so ineffectual and biased in the way it is set up. It's such a shame. The humanitarian UN agencies mostly do well (despite so much corruption in lots of places) but the security council and general assembly are so ineffectual and unbalanced it makes me







. I used to want to work for the UN... now not so much.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 

Some of us are born 'warriors for peace'. These are the people who put themselves on the front line for their causes They fight for change, stand up for their beliefs and can be wounded (psychically or emotionally) in their efforts.

There are others who are more passive in their approach. They may take 'smaller' causes within their community or even affect positive change by their lifestyle and their daily dealings with others. Or, they may be artists or writers, raising consciousness. It could be as basic as raising a child to be a compassionate adult with a sense of justice.

Both kinds of people have a place for positive change.

Have you thought about amnesty international?

http://www.amnesty.org/

I used to write letters for them when I was in high school. They have letter writing campaigns that are so easy even children can be involved.

I guess I'm in a transitional period in terms of this (as well as lots of other things)... finding my place in the "struggle". I do think the way we raise our children is one of the most important and meaningful ways to effect positive change in the world. I'd also like to set an example for them (if I ever get to have any) by being active in my own community. Right now I don't really have a community (my visa here prohibits me from volunteering or participating in any kind of protests etc.- and I really don't want to end up in an Asian prison or with a deportation flag on my passport) besides a couple online sooo...

I used to run the Amnesty chapter at my high school. I really liked it.

Has anyone checked out the News and Current Events forums here on MDC? There are whole bunch of members discussing the Israeli/Gaza "war" (starting to look more and more like people in a cage getting slaughtered...)
I frequent there and get really involved in READING the discussions, I don't post too much- like I said, it's draining and emotional for me. But it is nice to read some of the posts from some really insightful, intelligent and passionate members who feel strongly about the same things. I get angry reading "the other side's" posts, but I find it really opens up my mind to how others think about these things. I think it's important to at least listen and understand both "sides" of every story.


----------



## ernalala

Dh works for local UN refugee agency .
Expat-mama, and I so know what u mean regarding functionality/effectiveness of the different organisations/branches...


----------



## faithsstuff

I have to say I"ve really enjoyed seeing your differant perspectives, thanks to all for being willing to put yourselves out there and be honest. THe discussion we went to was indeed about Israel/Gaza hosted by the Friends (Quakers). We moved to Atlanta about 3 months ago and now with a nearly 6 week old I am dying to get out there. It's frustrating to be new in a community and trying to find your place. In Rochester we were part of a nonviolent affinity group and spent time in jail as a result, I feel like I've lost more than just my fav. coffee spot in this move. I wasn't prepared for how emotionally hard the news would be now that there's a kiddo in the house. Has anyone been to SOA? This year, being 8+ months pregnant, it was particularly hard. Hearing the names and ages of those killed had me crying. For me, it makes it harder and more necessary to act. I do think though that living your life, giving love to others may be the strongest action we can take. Just a few thoughts
love to all
faith


----------



## ernalala

Q Where do I find the discussions on Gaza/İsrael on MDC. I looked under the News/curent events category and only found two catalogued discussions on the topic which I believe are not the ones that where mentioned here? Can anyone help direct me there? I'm intersted in reading it.

In Turkey indeed the topic is very loaded and heated too but imo (all over the world) people tend to categorise this conflict way too much on religion grounds (mostly by affiliation) rather than adressing it as a humanitarian issue.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 
Unbelievable, indeed.







The war crimes are mounting day by day- when will anyone step in to STOP this? I have VERY mixed opinions about the UN...it has the POTENTIAL to be such an important body in the world...but it seems so ineffectual and biased in the way it is set up. It's such a shame. The humanitarian UN agencies mostly do well (despite so much corruption in lots of places) but the security council and general assembly are so ineffectual and unbalanced it makes me







. I used to want to work for the UN... now not so much.

Has anyone checked out the News and Current Events forums here on MDC? There are whole bunch of members discussing the Israeli/Gaza "war" (starting to look more and more like people in a cage getting slaughtered...)
I frequent there and get really involved in READING the discussions, I don't post too much- like I said, it's draining and emotional for me. But it is nice to read some of the posts from some really insightful, intelligent and passionate members who feel strongly about the same things. I get angry reading "the other side's" posts, but I find it really opens up my mind to how others think about these things. I think it's important to at least listen and understand both "sides" of every story.

The UN is definitely flawed. Ultimately, I have to believe the world is better off with them than without.









I read an article in the New Yorker last year about the top UN guy in Iraq. (I think he was South American). He was really accomplished and ready to retire but was persuaded to go run the office in Iraq. Long story short, he quickly realized he (and the UN) was just be used to legitimize America's invasion and was so frustrated. His office was bombed and he could have been saved had the US military brought rescue equipment to Iraq. They were having to search and take whatever they could from Iraqi civilians.







: And then off course, the UN pulled out. Anyone know who I'm taking about?

I tend to avoid the news forums. I can't bear the thought of reading something that defends any violence there.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *faithsstuff* 
I have to say I"ve really enjoyed seeing your differant perspectives, thanks to all for being willing to put yourselves out there and be honest. THe discussion we went to was indeed about Israel/Gaza hosted by the Friends (Quakers). We moved to Atlanta about 3 months ago and now with a nearly 6 week old I am dying to get out there. It's frustrating to be new in a community and trying to find your place. In Rochester we were part of a nonviolent affinity group and spent time in jail as a result, I feel like I've lost more than just my fav. coffee spot in this move. I wasn't prepared for how emotionally hard the news would be now that there's a kiddo in the house. Has anyone been to SOA? This year, being 8+ months pregnant, it was particularly hard. Hearing the names and ages of those killed had me crying. For me, it makes it harder and more necessary to act. I do think though that living your life, giving love to others may be the strongest action we can take. Just a few thoughts
love to all
faith

You spent time in jail for it?!??! Whoa!

What is SOA?

I agree.... it all starts with peace and love on a small scale.


----------



## ernalala

Tbh, one of my personal fears in parenting is 'what if my children would turn out not to be very nice persons at all?'... I mean, criminal or just real bad character? I can't help but thinking that all criminals, murderers, war criminals, dictators and so on, all have been babies born in a (loving?) family, so how does it get this far????

The best thing we can do as parents is to ty and raise them lovingly and with a lot of understanding and acceptance of their nature, starting from birth. And pass on our values. Of which my most important ones are of green, open-minded/tolerant, pacifist nature. Though I find this a hard mind-set in this society and hard to live accordingly I don't see that much of it around me tbh.







maybe me too ı dont really look like this lol.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ernalala* 
Tbh, one of my personal fears in parenting is 'what if my children would turn out not to be very nice persons at all?'... I mean, criminal or just real bad character? I can't help but thinking that all criminals, murderers, war criminals, dictators and so on, all have been babies born in a (loving?) family, so how does it get this far????

The best thing we can do as parents is to ty and raise them lovingly and with a lot of understanding and acceptance of their nature, starting from birth. And pass on our values. Of which my most important ones are of green, open-minded/tolerant, pacifist nature. Though I find this a hard mind-set in this society and hard to live accordingly I don't see that much of it around me tbh.







maybe me too ı dont really look like this lol.

Yes, I can relate. I would be curious to study the early childhoods of those people who do such terrible things. I'll bet that most of them suffered living in less than 'loving' situations in the first three years of life.

Somebody posed the philosophical question once, (I think it was a science fiction writer), that if you were presented with a baby and the knowledge that this innocent child would grow up to be the most heinous, cruel dictator, would you, could you, justify taking the life of that baby? (Toughy, isn't it?)


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

Hey guys just wanted to let you know I am here and around but my internet has been wonky and I have been feeling more lonely than ever. My friend just moved away and she's been my friend for 20 years


----------



## Deacon's Mama

Hello









I guess I fit in here







I'm shy so I have problems making friends, but I also have a problem really finding someone I like as well. I really need to make some like minded friends







DH and I are really home bodies and I don't ever want to be a social butterfly or anything like that. But it would be nice to find some like minded people I can hang out with on a semi-regular basis.


----------



## expat-mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ernalala* 
Q Where do I find the discussions on Gaza/İsrael on MDC. I looked under the News/curent events category and only found two catalogued discussions on the topic which I believe are not the ones that where mentioned here? Can anyone help direct me there? I'm intersted in reading it.

VERY unfortunately, this forum is being/has been removed. The threads about Gaza were heated but I always felt they were VERY respectful and full of honest and passionate members bringing up news articles and events. After a very small number of members, I think most of whom happened to fall on the side of supporting the Israel attacks on Gaza complained about the threads being "one-sided" and "unbalanced" moderators/admin decided to shut them down because they were "to difficult to moderate". I'm more than a little upset about this-- but I won't get into it fully here. I'll simply just state that IMO the forum was NOT unbalanced or one-sided, there just happened to be more peace-loving members who were against the war (and any war or acts of violence) and the others who supported the war were few in number (I think this can be expected no?) and seemed to think anti-war members were attacking them, being anti-semitic (this DID not go on) etc. I think the perception that the thread was unbalanced was because the nature of the thread involved discussing specific news articles- most articles on the topic of the Israeli-Gaza conflict were about the scale of the attacks on Gaza, civilian casualties, possibilities of war crimes, and suffering children. I read a variety of news sources and these general topics were prevalent. There really weren't many (any that I saw) that were all-out supporting the attacks on Gaza. And that's why it was "one-sided". What I wonder is- isn't it more in the MDC "spirit" to be anti-war, anti-violence on women and children than to be supportive of such things? ANYWAY- as often happens in matters such as these, the peaceful discussion was cut short because of a few (perhaps influential) voices claiming bias where there was none that I perceived. *sigh*

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Deacon's Mama* 
Hello









I guess I fit in here







I'm shy so I have problems making friends, but I also have a problem really finding someone I like as well. I really need to make some like minded friends







DH and I are really home bodies and I don't ever want to be a social butterfly or anything like that. But it would be nice to find some like minded people I can hang out with on a semi-regular basis.

Welcome- I think you definitely fit in. Fellow social snail here- I just like to curl up at home. Definitely not a butterfly.









I'm going through some tough stuff. Sometimes I feel like I want someone to talk to other than DH. But a huge part of me thinks I will never find anyone that truly understands and whom I can talk to openly anyway. The few friends I have I don't really talk to *much* about personal stuff. Just sort of skim the surface without getting into the depths of things.
With my pregnancy and miscarriage last month, I had told a few friends about the pregnancy and felt completely strange having to divulge about the miscarriage. I guess for me, happy occasions aren't that personal- I hate telling others about my pain or hardship though. So now, I think I'm pregnant again- I know! so soon. I haven't even had a period since my miscarriage. And...I'm happy. But so so so scared and worried. I don't know how I'll get through it and I can't get rid of ominous feelings that it will all happen again. I feel like I want someone to talk to, someone who can relate to me on this more than DH...but I don't think anyone can. DH comes close, but he's not a woman- all this baby stuff is pretty foreign to him and I understand that. I want to talk but I feel like no one knows "the real me".
I suppose I'll get through it like anything else- I'm a strong person and I've always relied on myself.


----------



## sugareemoma

I am a lonley mamma with no real friends. I post here and on TBW. I go to school and have small talk with some people there but no real friends. I am applying for a very competitive program so I must maintain a 4.0 gpa so I feel like I don't really have time for friends at school. By the time I get home from school I am so exhausted that I just walk my dog, play with my dd and cook us dinner than take a nap or even go to sleep as early as 8 some nights. I guess my dog is my best friend because he listens to me complain about my school work and tests and how people at my DDs daycare aren't the greatest. I like posting here, it makes me feel not quite so antisocial even though I am still introverted.
Take care


----------



## claddaghmom

I guess I belong here. All my highschool friends moved away or looked down their noses at me b/c I just wanted to get married and have babies. (When I tried telling one friend that I can marry, have babies and still have a fulfilling school/career she laughed at me. She never saw me after that. sigh)

Anyways, I was content with my family and Dh until now I realize how lonely I am. DH has been hitting the books really hard. A master's degree is definitely harder than undergraduate school lol. So I get less "friendship" from him.

And now with a baby, I just want someone to hang out with who is on the same page. But I am so weird... no vax, no circ, homeopathic/eastern medicine, organic, RC, EC, co-sleeping, etc etc.

I thought I found a great friend. We emailed a lot. Live close by. Got together a couple times. Her son is about 4 months older than mine. When she found out I had a homebirth she never emailed/called/met me again.

On the positive side, I just hooked up with an old friend who is pregnant. But I don't know how that will work out. Our friendship was kind of shaky. I get the feeling we are clinging to each other out of desparation lol


----------



## zonapellucida

Sadly I am in the no friend s group..... hope to meet someone, anyone...


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corbynsmama* 
Hey guys just wanted to let you know I am here and around but my internet has been wonky and I have been feeling more lonely than ever. My friend just moved away and she's been my friend for 20 years









Nice to hear from you. Sorry about losing the friend. What's been happening?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Deacon's Mama* 
Hello









I guess I fit in here







I'm shy so I have problems making friends, but I also have a problem really finding someone I like as well. I really need to make some like minded friends







DH and I are really home bodies and I don't ever want to be a social butterfly or anything like that. But it would be nice to find some like minded people I can hang out with on a semi-regular basis.











Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 
VERY unfortunately, this forum is being/has been removed. The threads about Gaza were heated but I always felt they were VERY respectful and full of honest and passionate members bringing up news articles and events. After a very small number of members, I think most of whom happened to fall on the side of supporting the Israel attacks on Gaza complained about the threads being "one-sided" and "unbalanced" moderators/admin decided to shut them down because they were "to difficult to moderate". I'm more than a little upset about this-- but I won't get into it fully here. I'll simply just state that IMO the forum was NOT unbalanced or one-sided, there just happened to be more peace-loving members who were against the war (and any war or acts of violence) and the others who supported the war were few in number (I think this can be expected no?) and seemed to think anti-war members were attacking them, being anti-semitic (this DID not go on) etc. I think the perception that the thread was unbalanced was because the nature of the thread involved discussing specific news articles- most articles on the topic of the Israeli-Gaza conflict were about the scale of the attacks on Gaza, civilian casualties, possibilities of war crimes, and suffering children. I read a variety of news sources and these general topics were prevalent. There really weren't many (any that I saw) that were all-out supporting the attacks on Gaza. And that's why it was "one-sided". What I wonder is- isn't it more in the MDC "spirit" to be anti-war, anti-violence on women and children than to be supportive of such things? ANYWAY- as often happens in matters such as these, the peaceful discussion was cut short because of a few (perhaps influential) voices claiming bias where there was none that I perceived. *sigh*

Welcome- I think you definitely fit in. Fellow social snail here- I just like to curl up at home. Definitely not a butterfly.









I'm going through some tough stuff. Sometimes I feel like I want someone to talk to other than DH. But a huge part of me thinks I will never find anyone that truly understands and whom I can talk to openly anyway. The few friends I have I don't really talk to *much* about personal stuff. Just sort of skim the surface without getting into the depths of things.
With my pregnancy and miscarriage last month, I had told a few friends about the pregnancy and felt completely strange having to divulge about the miscarriage. I guess for me, happy occasions aren't that personal- I hate telling others about my pain or hardship though. So now, I think I'm pregnant again- I know! so soon. I haven't even had a period since my miscarriage. And...I'm happy. But so so so scared and worried. I don't know how I'll get through it and I can't get rid of ominous feelings that it will all happen again. I feel like I want someone to talk to, someone who can relate to me on this more than DH...but I don't think anyone can. DH comes close, but he's not a woman- all this baby stuff is pretty foreign to him and I understand that. I want to talk but I feel like no one knows "the real me".
I suppose I'll get through it like anything else- I'm a strong person and I've always relied on myself.

yeah....i was bummed about the forum closing even though I rarely used it. I guess it's no surprise. I can see MDC's point of view if it was just too much aggravation with the kind of statements, complaints they were probably getting bombarded with. It's a shame. I wonder if there could just be a 'Peace' forum?
I wonder why no more celebrity talk?

'social snail'







I love that!

I'm so sorry to hear about the heard time you're going through.







We're a lot alike in that we're both pretty self reliant but sometimes just are desperate for a shoulder to lean on. No matter how close we are with our spouses I'm skeptical of the person who says they can tell their partner ANYTHING. As wonderful and close as they may be to us there's still that distance of our gender and experience that can feel so alienating at times. Sometimes I think I don't even know the real me. You are a strong person and you will get through this.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sugareemoma* 
I am a lonley mamma with no real friends. I post here and on TBW. I go to school and have small talk with some people there but no real friends. I am applying for a very competitive program so I must maintain a 4.0 gpa so I feel like I don't really have time for friends at school. By the time I get home from school I am so exhausted that I just walk my dog, play with my dd and cook us dinner than take a nap or even go to sleep as early as 8 some nights. I guess my dog is my best friend because he listens to me complain about my school work and tests and how people at my DDs daycare aren't the greatest. I like posting here, it makes me feel not quite so antisocial even though I am still introverted.
Take care











Quote:


Originally Posted by *claddaghmom* 
I guess I belong here. All my highschool friends moved away or looked down their noses at me b/c I just wanted to get married and have babies. (When I tried telling one friend that I can marry, have babies and still have a fulfilling school/career she laughed at me. She never saw me after that. sigh)

Anyways, I was content with my family and Dh until now I realize how lonely I am. DH has been hitting the books really hard. A master's degree is definitely harder than undergraduate school lol. So I get less "friendship" from him.

And now with a baby, I just want someone to hang out with who is on the same page. But I am so weird... no vax, no circ, homeopathic/eastern medicine, organic, RC, EC, co-sleeping, etc etc.

I thought I found a great friend. We emailed a lot. Live close by. Got together a couple times. Her son is about 4 months older than mine. When she found out I had a homebirth she never emailed/called/met me again.

On the positive side, I just hooked up with an old friend who is pregnant. But I don't know how that will work out. Our friendship was kind of shaky. I get the feeling we are clinging to each other out of desparation lol











Quote:


Originally Posted by *zonapellucida* 
Sadly I am in the no friend s group..... hope to meet someone, anyone...











Wow! Nine kids! How do you do it?!?! (You must be tired of hearing that







)

It's been so cold lately I'm counting the days until spring....just looking every day for a sign. I'm just going to have to wait until Groundhog Day to see what Wiarton Willie says....
DH left today for about a month so I'm sure I'll be around a lot.


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

Bababa- Not much has been happening. I got a job and I start on the 3rd and I am getting a car on friday. It will be helpful for me so I don't have to walk in the cold to work which just isn't possible during the winter because it is so far away and I would take the bus but the busses don't run here where I live after 10:30. And I managed to obtain a 4-12 schedule so that I could be home with corbyn most of the day. I am just exhausted though because this month has been so busy.


----------



## expat-mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
'social snail'







I love that!

I'm so sorry to hear about the heard time you're going through.







We're a lot alike in that we're both pretty self reliant but sometimes just are desperate for a shoulder to lean on. No matter how close we are with our spouses I'm skeptical of the person who says they can tell their partner ANYTHING. As wonderful and close as they may be to us there's still that distance of our gender and experience that can feel so alienating at times. Sometimes I think I don't even know the real me. You are a strong person and you will get through this.

It's been so cold lately I'm counting the days until spring....just looking every day for a sign. I'm just going to have to wait until Groundhog Day to see what Wiarton Willie says....
DH left today for about a month so I'm sure I'll be around a lot.

Thanks Bababa. I'm doing ok...went to the doctor but of course it's too early to see anything decisive on the ultrasound so got betas and am waiting for the results. Trying not to freak out too much...but not being successful. We hate doctors, and all the doctor visits and health concerns are really starting to get to both me and DH. I get frustrated because with pregnancy they can't really DO anything and I feel foolish going and seeking reassurance when they can't and don't give me any. Ugh...sometimes I wonder if I should even BE a mother with all my worry and anxiety. If I ever do have a kid, I'll probably drive it and myself crazy.

Where did your DH go? I hear you about the cold...but it's really not even that cold here







. I'm sooo not looking forward to my plane touching down in icy Ottawa. Well I am







, but not looking forward to the cold. I'm hoping it will warm up by the end of February so that the temperature difference won't be so severe from here to there.
Yah- social snails...we like to curl up at home, and when others approach we're apprehensive and like to keep a place nearby to retreat into. Oh, how I'd love it if I actually had a REAL shell, instead of my imaginary one. I think it'd be cozy.









Congrats on the job Corbynsmama- in this economy that's a great accomplishment!









And welcome to the new lonely/no friend mamas.


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

Expat- You aren't kidding this economy is crazy lately but I am glad that I was able to get a car.


----------



## ernalala

Expat-mama.

Yes, it seems like it's been rough for you lately let's hope things get better soon. I wish you well with present pregnancy, my congratulations by the way, and I hope you will be able to get rid of the feeling of insecurity somehow! (I've seen this happen with other women, and some can easily put the early miscarriage/pregnancy loss behind, but for some it stays very hard to cope for a long time.) When you do not worry too much, being pregnant can feel great, but when you DO worry (for whatever reason that may be), not so much...

And yes, on some issues you just can't connect much with your dh as much as you would like, as someone also said here, I do believe gender perspective has something to do with it for certain issues (like pregnancy and homonal related).


----------



## BaBaBa

Corbynsmama-
Congrats on the job and car!







: Those are perfect hours. I'm glad Corbyn's home. I think last time we heard from you he was still in the hospital.

expat-mama
It's a crazy mixed up wonderful frightening time.







You will be a wonderful mother for sure. I have this theory.... completely untested... that your personality flip flops after you have a baby. I was so calm, patient and level headed before and now I'm







. So, if I'm right you'll be one cool calm mama









DH went to Santiago. Wah! It's not fair. Actually there was some discussion of me joining him for a week but it would be a big hassle finding someone to mind the farm and a 16 hour flight is just not fair for a little one.

Arriving in Ottawa? in February?!?!







:







:







:
Oh well, spring is around the corner.
You must be excited to be coming home though.

I tend to treat the house as my shell. Maybe I'm a social turtle? It's a wee bit hard on the back though. Or maybe I'm a reluctant social caterpillar. I just won't go into that cocoon!

As for me, I'm just trying to make it through each day. The meals, the clean up the laundry







: I keep thinking I'm doing it all wrong, comparing myself to other moms who appear to have it all figured out.









It's sort of boring and I'm beginning to think I'm not cut out for this







:

Now that I think of it I only really feel this way when the in laws are expected. They're coming this weekend and although it's to help me I feel this tremendous pressure to have it 'together' with a clean house and prepared food for when they come.


----------



## thisiswhatwedo

can we start a new thread this one is very long??
I am so lonely you guys, and I am trying to find friends....








I invited my two old best friends to my house, sent out evites and they took over and decided to have me over to their (one of their) houses and then canceled on me with no explanation. They say they want to hang out and in general for the last few years almost all my friends new and old say they want to hang out but no one really has that drive to push them over the edge to actually hang out. I don't know why, I don't really suck that bad.
single mom that goes weeks with out adult conversation


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thisiswhatwedo* 
can we start a new thread this one is very long??
I am so lonely you guys, and I am trying to find friends....








I invited my two old best friends to my house, sent out evites and they took over and decided to have me over to their (one of their) houses and then canceled on me with no explanation. They say they want to hang out and in general for the last few years almost all my friends new and old say they want to hang out but no one really has that drive to push them over the edge to actually hang out. I don't know why, I don't really suck that bad.
single mom that goes weeks with out adult conversation











I would







some adult conversation!!!!

Whatcha wanna talk about? I'm all ears.

Whereabouts are you?


----------



## thisiswhatwedo

upper midwest-twin cities and will talk about just about anything.







:


----------



## expat-mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ernalala* 
Expat-mama.

Yes, it seems like it's been rough for you lately let's hope things get better soon. I wish you well with present pregnancy, my congratulations by the way

Thank you!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Corbynsmama-

DH went to Santiago. Wah! It's not fair. Actually there was some discussion of me joining him for a week but it would be a big hassle finding someone to mind the farm and a 16 hour flight is just not fair for a little one.

Arriving in Ottawa? in February?!?!







:







:







:
Oh well, spring is around the corner.
You must be excited to be coming home though.

I tend to treat the house as my shell. Maybe I'm a social turtle? It's a wee bit hard on the back though. Or maybe I'm a reluctant social caterpillar. I just won't go into that cocoon!

As for me, I'm just trying to make it through each day. The meals, the clean up the laundry







: I keep thinking I'm doing it all wrong, comparing myself to other moms who appear to have it all figured out.









It's sort of boring and I'm beginning to think I'm not cut out for this







:

WOW Santiago! I'm sorry you don't get to go too! And a whole month, sheesh! But yah..16 hours on a plane for a little one... too much!
Yes...Ottawa...February...







: I think for the first few weeks DH and I are mostly just going to hibernate at my mom's place. There are so many things we have been wanting to cook- we have been living for so long with such limited access to different produce, spices and ingredients- and with only 2 small burners and no oven. I don't even know what we've been eating for a year and a half. I DREAM of the huge and varied produce sections in grocery stores and markets in Canada... My DH just finished a huge research report he has been working on for months so he is finished work, I'm finished work and we finally have a moment to think about what is coming. All I can think about is FOOD







:

Heh, social caterpillar.









I'm looking forward to being a SAHM when the time comes... I can imagine it could be boring at times...good thing you have us to keep you entertained!


----------



## 106657

Hi everyone. I hope all is well. I haven't been here in a long time. I felt I was spending way too much time on the computer, and not getting out in the world and making connections. Well, I got out there and no connections were made. It's as if everyone is in a different stage of life. I am starting to feel like I am standing on the sidelines and life is just passing me by. Maybe it's just the winter blues? I am glad to be back.


----------



## ~PurityLake~

After that tree fell on our house, the girls and I stayed at my mother's house for a week. During that week, my mom took us to a thrift shop and I bought the girls some toys and clothes. While there, I met a mother who had just moved from Idaho to Alaska three months prior. She invited us to her house to let all our kids play together. I did that a couple days later. They had a great time and I was glad to see their family was as GD as I am, if not more so. Abigail's breakdown upon being told we needed to leave lasted 45 minutes, and this family was 100% tolerant and understanding about it. Once we were back 'home', as in not at my mom's anymore, back at home in Anchorage, I called this lady on the phone to make sure she had my number. Of course, she lives 1 hour north of me in another town, so it's unlikely we'll be getting together very much.


----------



## 106657

Morning mamas, how is everyone this morning?

PurityLake...maybe once a month you both could either make the 1 hour trip to each others home, or meet half way at a park, library or some other place??


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 

PurityLake...maybe once a month you both could either make the 1 hour trip to each others home, or meet half way at a park, library or some other place??


Hehe, there is nothing halfway between our towns. Well, there are a couple gas stations. Lol.

But besides that, I really wouldn't want anyone in my tiny house. I doubt they'd even fit into the living room. I am thinking that next time we all go out to Wasilla, I will give her a call, but I don't think it will be once a month. I haven't lost hope, I just understand how difficult it will be.

My husband is off work on Sundays (we have one vehicle which he uses for work), but we now go to a UU church at 10:30 am on Sunday and he takes returns his son from weekend visitation at 4:30 pm.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 
Yes...Ottawa...February...







: I think for the first few weeks DH and I are mostly just going to hibernate at my mom's place. There are so many things we have been wanting to cook- we have been living for so long with such limited access to different produce, spices and ingredients- and with only 2 small burners and no oven. I don't even know what we've been eating for a year and a half. I DREAM of the huge and varied produce sections in grocery stores and markets in Canada... My DH just finished a huge research report he has been working on for months so he is finished work, I'm finished work and we finally have a moment to think about what is coming. All I can think about is FOOD







:

I'm so excited for your homecoming! And you know spring is not too far away. Wiarton Willie saw his shadow but what does that stupid groundhog know anyhow?!

FOOD







:
Can we talk? I love to eat....I've been in a bit of a rut lately. I never thought I'd see the day when I'd be tired of pasta and bored with Indian. 2009 is going to be a discovery year for Asian cuisine for me. I've already made some awesome salads.
Canada is wonderful that way for the multicultural cuisine. Not in the rural areas but the big cities and since I have one foot in Toronto I periodically get to enjoy it and DH will shop at the St. Lawrence market for me when he can. Isn't there a really good market in Ottawa?
It's hard eating in a foreign country. Don't get me wrong....I love to try new authentic foods, but I don't think the rest of the world enjoys the variety of cuisine we are accustomed to. Even just simple things like muffins. When I was in France, they didn't know what a muffin was! But sometimes I think that the 'foreign' foods we eat here (ie. Indian, Chinese, etc.) are actually nothing like what they REALLY eat.
What food do you miss the most? Pizza? Burgers? A good old casserole? Please tell me!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Hi everyone. I hope all is well. I haven't been here in a long time. I felt I was spending way too much time on the computer, and not getting out in the world and making connections. Well, I got out there and no connections were made. It's as if everyone is in a different stage of life. I am starting to feel like I am standing on the sidelines and life is just passing me by. Maybe it's just the winter blues? I am glad to be back.

Like I told you before, I'm so glad you're back! I was going to PM you but it looked like you hadn't been online in a long time. Good for you for making a change in your life. I'm sorry it didn't work out for you. I can't speak for everyone but I missed you







Life is hard and we all ultimately have to go it alone. You are a beautiful, strong individual. Don't let the world get you down. Here's my new motto: What you can't fix, you've got to stand. (I'll change my siggy later)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 
After that tree fell on our house, the girls and I stayed at my mother's house for a week. During that week, my mom took us to a thrift shop and I bought the girls some toys and clothes. While there, I met a mother who had just moved from Idaho to Alaska three months prior. She invited us to her house to let all our kids play together. I did that a couple days later. They had a great time and I was glad to see their family was as GD as I am, if not more so. Abigail's breakdown upon being told we needed to leave lasted 45 minutes, and this family was 100% tolerant and understanding about it. Once we were back 'home', as in not at my mom's anymore, back at home in Anchorage, I called this lady on the phone to make sure she had my number. Of course, she lives 1 hour north of me in another town, so it's unlikely we'll be getting together very much.










I don't think we've said hi before, but I've seen you around and enjoy your posts.


----------



## 106657

Hey BaBaBa How have you been? It's so nice to know I was missed. I can't tell you how wonderful that makes me feel. I will keep getting out there, but I am no longer going to do backbends for people who no matter what you do it's never the right thing.

How are things in your neck of the woods?


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Hey BaBaBa How have you been? It's so nice to know I was missed. I can't tell you how wonderful that makes me feel. I will keep getting out there, but I am no longer going to do backbends for people who no matter what you do it's never the right thing.

How are things in your neck of the woods?

Sounds like you really had a hard time of it.....







Great resolution.

Winter sucks. I dream of spring every day. 2009 so far has been a hell of a year. I feel like we're cursed. We're on a streak of very bad luck it seems. I've been wondering if it's my attitude, or a self fulfilling prophecy or what but it truly seems to be a tough time. Now, I just have to wrap my head around what the best way to deal with it is


----------



## 106657

wow, didn't mean to sound so yucky. Just feeling sorry for myself I guess.

I hear ya about spring. I dream of feeling the sun on my face, of being able to open my windows and smell the fresh air, hear the birds. I am counting the days until it gets here. Sorry to hear about your luck. It seems sometimes when it rains it pours. Anything I can do?


----------



## 106657

Morning all.


----------



## Mimi

Morning!








(well, 12.30 here, so almost lunchtime..)


----------



## BaBaBa

Good Morning!

It's -28 C right now








:







:







:







:

The house is creaking and banging it's so cold.

I glad I got up twice during the night to keep the fires going.


----------



## Mimi

& here i am in the south of england complaining about half an inch of snow..

anyone willing to test my new knitting pattern for me?


----------



## 106657

I ran out of fire wood two weeks ago!! Just got more, now I just have to split it. This is the second time it's happened to me.


----------



## Mimi

i can't imagine that at all!
in a way, i am jealous. it sounds really romantic, snow, ice, fire..
but i can imagine it's a lot of work!!


----------



## 106657

It can be, always checking the fires, getting wood, if your smarter than me and don't run out. Around this time of the year I start thinking about Spring. That's the toughest part, wanting to get out, start your garden, open the windows. Cabin fever! In the beginning it's nice though, I love the smell of the fire, my family all gathered around.


----------



## Mimi

es, & you can keep them lovely & warm under handmade quilts & knits, reading storys by the fire, oh wow. i do hope for a good winter some time.


----------



## BaBaBa

RV, thanks for the offer but unless you can divert whatever cosmic energy is the source of all this grief, there's nothing you can do.








Anyhow, it's been 48 hours without any grief or drama so I've gonna believe we put it behind us now.

HWT, watch me go!























Romantic? nah.....not unless a hunky guy is doing all the chopping and carrying wood ....(especially if he's carrying wood







)

But yes, it is really cosy.

I'm almost out of kindling. I need to make a few sticks last until Sunday when I can get more. I've always got an old drying rack I can break up if I'm desperate.

RV, you don't chop it yourself do you?


----------



## Mimi

uh, i like my men old-ish, so i guess they'd not be all that willing to chop wood ^ ^

ladies, i would invite you all over to our little home, but,
we have a weather warning for a snow storm tonight , so i can't offer any sun







in the summer,though! our house is right by the beach, feel free to visit!

baabaa, knitting's looking good!


----------



## BaBaBa

Oh come on! A real man chops wood until the day he dies.

....and did you not get my joke?

carrying wood?

wood?

you get it?









I crack myself up!


----------



## Mimi

ooh goodness, i did not even THINK that way before you said it again!
spending time with noone but a 2 year old & a 5 month old is making me all .. weird.
oh that's true, i can see mark harmon chopping wood. mhh. oh boy.


----------



## dex_millie

This is my place, I am with you all. No friends up here, hard to make them. I only have DH and DS. I have a bro., SIL, MIL a hour away but they don't count as close friends where you go out and hang out with.

And being with a 2y.o night and day can drive a person crazy when you have no other outlet. I joined some groups but even those are dead cases. I go to meetings w/ one once a month, they are starting to do more things so I think I will start having somewhere to go (still dealing w/ my 2yo during it all, it would be mostly for him, it will just have other people around w/ their other kids)


----------



## Mimi

i have ONE person at playgroup i talk to. everyone else hits their child & such.
it is not very pleasant at all.
my best friend is my mother in law. i moved here from germany a year ago, so all my friends are back there, well, the few ones i had, anyway.
oh listen to me though, it could be much worse, i should stop complaining.


----------



## BaBaBa

HWAT, i hope I haven't corrupted you then









I'll have Jean Reno....(in the Professional NOT any of those silly movies)

...and you should know I've cast on 23 st now!









Hi Dex!


----------



## Mimi

WOW well done Baabaa, that's more than enough to make the knit booties.. (yes, i KNOW you don't want to make them














)
mh, i cans ee what you see in jean reno.
i'd also totally invite the smart guy from "law & order" over for a cup of tea!
(what's his name? haven't watched tv in AGES!)
anyway, dinnertime now, i'll see you tomorrow!!!
<3


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 








I don't think we've said hi before, but I've seen you around and enjoy your posts.

HEllO! Nice to meet you.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Oh come on! A real man chops wood until the day he dies.

....and did you not get my joke?

carrying wood?

wood?

you get it?









I crack myself up!

I giggled when I read your joke, even though I'm a total prude.

I make myself laugh a lot, too, even when no one else thinks I'm funny.

When I was 11-19, we heated our home with a wood stove because my parents were too poor to pay for the electric heat. We picked up a load of wood once a year with our truck and backed it up into our back yard. There we commenced with the chopping. I learned how to make kindling myself and how to stack the wood so it would stay dry (and we lived in the Pacific Northwest where it rained often). After my brother moved out, it became my job to empty the ashes from the wood stove every weekend. Ah, the good old days, and yet one more thing that contributed to my raging allergies.


----------



## Brownie~

hello, all! i am trying to make friends, but it doesn't go anywhere. I moved back here almost two years ago and still no real friendships to speak of. Hoping to enjoy your support and camaraderie!


----------



## BaBaBa

Welcome Brownie!

HWAT, there you go again, overestimating my abilities. Unless your booties are made for a baby with square feet I'm not quite up to the challenge.

...and what would I do with baby booties anyhow....









who's Mark Harmon anyhow? Isn't he from the 80's?


----------



## expat-mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
FOOD







:
Can we talk? I love to eat....
What food do you miss the most? Pizza? Burgers? A good old casserole? Please tell me!









: YES! There used to be a tribe for "Foodies" that I joined, but it disappeared. Ugh...yah, here in Korea, you can get all the KOREAN food you could ever want, which isn't bad- but options for any other kind of food are few and far between. AND often what other "foreign" foods they have here are drastically modified or "Koreanized" to fit the unique Korean palate and taste. A couple of years ago, I visited home and literally filled a suitcase with spices and condiments on the way back here. OHHH what do I miss? Well, like I said- a lot of it has to do with cooking- we only have 2 gas burners (and they are so close together that you can only really use one at a time!) and no oven. Koreans generally use a rice cooker to cook rice and serve perhaps one hot dish with a variety of pre-prepared cold "side-dishes" like kimchi etc. So they don't understand my need for an oven and the ability to use more than one damn burner!
AAAHHH I love food and cooking and learning about food. The reason my husband and I first started traveling together years ago when we were "kids" was because of our mutual love of some hole-in-the-wall ethnic restaurants in our university town. We both worked throughout school in kitchens and shared a special love and respect for food and cooking. And yah, it's totally true what you said about foreign foods being totally different than what we get at home. In India, I found the best dishes were most always veggie- because of course, most Indians are vegetarian. If you order a meat dish you were asking the cooks to maybe enter into unfamiliar territory! Quality/freshness of the meat was also questionable which is understandable when no one is eating it. A few days into our India trip we figured that out and were happy to stick to the variety of veggie stuff on offer for the next couple of months...oh yum.
I think when we were in Europe we spent most of time in restaurants! And half of our photos from there are of plates of food.







Most of the places we have been, a main reason for our visit was to sample the food.

It's so hard for me to think of what I miss... lately I've been craving jars of artichoke hearts and kalamata olives, neither of which I can get here. And produce, produce, produce- Korea has really protective trade agreements so basically there is only domestic produce and very few imports that are soo expensive you wouldn't believe it. If I told you what I've paid for a pomegranate, a grapefruit, or fresh cilantro you'd think I was nuts. Ugh. I could go for a nice piece of fish too- salmon or halibut or sea bass- yum. You'd think in such a seafood-centred place I could get a decent piece of fish- but Koreans like tiny little fish, eels, squid and bony weird fish that I can't identify. AND CHEESES- omg! Let me tell you, cheese is not big in Asia at all! Oh- goat cheese. fresh mozzarella mmmmmm! And herbs...and spices. Sigh... only 20 more days!
To make it through, DH and I download Iron Chef America, Top Chef, and Good Eats with Alton Brown. We don't watch TV (not much point since it's mostly Korean) so we mostly download cooking shows, boxing matches, and movies- and occasionally the Daily Show.








OHHH FOOD! I CAN'T WAIT!







:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
It can be, always checking the fires, getting wood, if your smarter than me and don't run out. Around this time of the year I start thinking about Spring. That's the toughest part, wanting to get out, start your garden, open the windows. Cabin fever! In the beginning it's nice though, I love the smell of the fire, my family all gathered around.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *herewearetogether* 
es, & you can keep them lovely & warm under handmade quilts & knits, reading storys by the fire, oh wow. i do hope for a good winter some time.

Ladies, your descriptions of wintery goodness are making me homesick in a weird way since they are mostly of unfamiliar things! Sounds wonderful though...


----------



## Mimi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 

who's Mark Harmon anyhow? Isn't he from the 80's?


SO WHAT!
He's only like 54 now,
which is only slightly older than I am ( well, maybe over 30 years older..)
he plays Agent Gibbs in a show called NCIS . sometimes i miss tv








here, that's him.
Don't laugh!!

How is everyone today?
Emi had a massive tantrum because apparently Georgie ( 5 months !!) told her she can not be a monster princess, so i had to search EVERYWHERE for that monster halloween costume & a tutu. ...


----------



## Mimi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 

Ladies, your descriptions of wintery goodness are making me homesick in a weird way since they are mostly of unfamiliar things! Sounds wonderful though...


I gre up in germany, where, in the winter, we have often been snowed in. i miss that, i hate that dh goes t work today even though we have a "flashing" weather warning, no idea what it means, but it has something to do with not leaving the house. People had to be taken home by the army today, & he goes to work. I am so angry, this would not happen in germany.








But hey. at least we live at the beach,so in the summer it's more pleasant than germany.


----------



## expat-mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *herewearetogether* 
I gre up in germany, where, in the winter, we have often been snowed in. i miss that, i hate that dh goes t work today even though we have a "flashing" weather warning, no idea what it means, but it has something to do with not leaving the house. People had to be taken home by the army today, & he goes to work. I am so angry, this would not happen in germany.








But hey. at least we live at the beach,so in the summer it's more pleasant than germany.

I saw a news report about the snow in England! Although beautiful, it looks very dangerous as the roads aren't properly plowed and people are not well prepared! I saw lots of photos of kids really enjoying themselves and lots of photos of commuters not enjoying themselves so much! I hope your dh gets to work and home all right.
And yeah, I guess that Mark Harmon is not so hard on the eyes!







I'm getting used to the idea that grey hair is sexy- my DH is only 29 and has white patches above his ears- it's not that easy to see yet because his hair is blondish but I think it's rather dignified!


----------



## Mimi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 
I saw a news report about the snow in England! Although beautiful, it looks very dangerous as the roads aren't properly plowed and people are not well prepared! I saw lots of photos of kids really enjoying themselves and lots of photos of commuters not enjoying themselves so much! I hope your dh gets to work and home all right.
And yeah, I guess that Mark Harmon is not so hard on the eyes!







I'm getting used to the idea that grey hair is sexy- my DH is only 29 and has white patches above his ears- it's not that easy to see yet because his hair is blondish but I think it's rather dignified!










Yeah,noone in this country is prepared for this weather, it has not snowed here for eight years!

I am jealous, i wish dh had grey hair,
he's only 27 though, so, i don't think it will happen any time soon.


----------



## ernalala

Ha! My dh is 7 years older than I am (just recently found out 7, not 6), and he's had samples of grey in his pitch black hair for as long as I know him. And when I got to know him he was almost 29. I used to stare at it and used to love to count those grey hairs, lol. It got a little more greyish over the years, but still black is in the majority. And it suits him so well, esoecially with his tanned skin.

I stopped dying my hair when I first got pregnant (I'd been dying it for about 10 years since I was 16) and then I'd decided to keep my real hair colour, because evryone one around here thinks it looks special (some think my light brown/dark blondish colour is a dye!), and as long as I don't show any grey hair I should be happy to enjoy my real colour shouldn't I ?


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## Mimi

i colour my hair black, as it is very light blonde, & reminds me of a time when i was a very different person.


----------



## ernalala

Quote:


Originally Posted by *herewearetogether* 
i colour my hair black, as it is very light blonde, & reminds me of a time when i was a very different person.

What do you mean? The black or the blonde reminds you of your being another person? Just curious.

In Belgium, I dyed my hair at 16 since my parents wouldn't allow it earlier, lol, so I went for it right away! I've had it canelle, dark maroon, dark brown, bluish black, to pitch black and kept that black for a looong time. It suited my style (which has always been quite dark/blackish







). Later introduced more colour in my life and dress over the years and had a period of wearing more colour than ever (but it didn't really 'fit' me), now I feel that I'm still/again grabbing at the black/dark most of the time, sometimes mixed with dramatic colour, I just love the contrast, lol. My hair is not black anymore but it suits me as I am. I am not 'more' or 'less' 'blackish' or even myself with my hair in it's natural colour iykwim .
You would NEVER EVER see me dressed in white







. I got one white dress, I've been wearing it maybe ONCE? It's not even my wedding dress, since I married in a silver/pink dress with a black velvet long gilet (I swore I would never marry in white and kept to that promise - lol).


----------



## Mimi

back when i was blonde i was blonde because my abusive boyfriend told me to colour it , Lighter & lighter, i never wanted my hair to look like that. so now it's black, i love that. i colour it red sometimes, but get bored of that quickly & go back to black.
i wear a lot of black as well, but also green & orange. not a lot of white.
I didn't get married in white








it was sort of gold-ish, ehm.. here! I'm the one with the huge legs, 5 months pregnant in this. the wedding had been planned long before the baby, so it was sort of unexpected to be pregnant on my wedding day, but the rooms were free a YEAR before we had planned, (it's a loooong waiting list.) so, that's my wedding photo.


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
HWT, watch me go!






















RV, you don't chop it yourself do you?

Morning mamas. I am a bit envious of you all, I wish I knew how to knit. It sounds like so much fun. No I don't chop the wood, but I do make the kindling. Last night we got a fire started again. All my animals were laying around it.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *herewearetogether* 
i moved here from germany a year ago, so all my friends are back there, well, the few ones i had, anyway.
oh listen to me though, it could be much worse, i should stop complaining.

Where in Germany? My family is from there. My Mother is from Berlin, and my father is from Black Forrest Region. It is a dream of mine to go there.


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## Mimi

Nordrhein Westfahlen , it's alright, but i am glad i left.
oh,knitting is really easy, you can learn it online! there are tons of isntructional videos! & you can make so much, trousers , shoes, scarves, blankets,hats, little jackets,dolls,bears... EVERYTHING!


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## 106657

Both my parents are glad they left too. They don't even want to go back for a visit.

I am going to check out the knitting. I hope it's super easy because I am not that talented. All thumbs!


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## Mimi

we went there for christmas, but it just made me even happier that we left.
blah.


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## BaBaBa

XP, I'm not a foodie by any means, but DH is so I've picked up a lot by association. He called me last night, so excited because the homeowner in Chile where they're shooting was so excited to have them there he insisted on cooking for all of them. Real Chilean home cooking







:
My being vegetarian is very frustrating for him but he actually admits it has made him a better cook because he's forced to cook so many things he never would have been interested before. Our honeymoon in SW France was brutal. They offer nothing for vegetarians. I lived on cheese, bread and pastries for 2 weeks and cam back slimmer. It was hard for DH to enjoy his meals because I would just sit there with him.
Nothing tells us quite so much about ourselves as what we eat. Don't you find that people who don't like 'ethnic' food are typically... racist, is pushing it... let's say xenophobes? And people who eat a lot of processed or unethically raised meat tend to be happily ignorant about health and the environment?
If you weren't coming back so soon, I'd send you a care package.
I take it no Be Bim Bap for a while?
I've heard from a few people that there are the most amazing falafels in Ottawa. But you didn't go to Carleton did you? They add some sort of pickled beet, or radish that they don't do in Toronto.

that is really depressing about the produce. I never would have believed that.

You should check out the podcasts on itunes. Last I checked Mario Batali, Anthony Bourdain and I think even Gordon Ramsay had some stuff on there..

Gordon Ramsay's hot!

HWAT, Okay I know who he is now....

http://www.imdb.com/media/rm638620928/tt0094072

that's him right?

If only the Army was only ever used for helping people in snowstorms. Snow plows not bombs!

Grey hair is definitely attractive on men. It's been about 2 years since I had a chance for a decent look in the mirror...







I'm sure I've got them now. It can look really nice on women too. I love silver hair.

I think I've said it before but I would love to shave my head and have a whole room full of wigs with every possible colour and style so I could be a different person every day!

...and I didn't get married in white either.... champagne (







ok that's pretty darn close)

HWAT, you look beautiful in that picture









RV, you should totally learn how to knit! I'm relearning for the second time. I taught myself from an old brochure and could never make anything more than a scarf but that only because I never kept it up.

Maybe you could take a class? Don't you have a teen daughter? Maybe you could go together? But it easily self taught as well.

Oh and BTW, HWAT that pattern does look easy! I think I will try it when I've finished this scarf for DH.

He's in big trouble because I just discovered that he left active mousetraps in the kitchen and I found a dead mouse in one! YUCK! I am so glad my dad is coming tomorrow so he can put it in the trash for me.

Knitting by the fireplace is heavenly.

He's in big trouble because I just discovered that he left active mousetraps in the kitchen and I found a dead mouse in one! YUCK! I am so glad my dad is coming tomorrow so he can put it in the trash for me.

Gotta run...DD is up. I guess a 10 minute break is all I get today


----------



## Mimi

oh i did not like mark harmon when he was young,
i do like my men old-ish.

a mouse trap, that is so terrible, i could NEVER touch that, good thing fil is coming over.

we have dinner with the in-laws tonight,so i have to give the kids a bath & possibly dress them. it's going to be quite a fight again, emi never wants to get dressed.

mh, yes, do send mark harmon over to rescue me!

oh, baabaa, do try the booties, i made some in my size & love them!!
make sure to use very chucky wool if you are knitting for a grown up, or it will take for EVER


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## BaBaBa

I'm sorry, maybe it's because of my age but I'll always think of Mark Harmon as how he looked in the 80's.

...and don't worry, there's plenty of ways to make DH's hair grey prematurely









I'm totally going to make the booties for myself but I have to go back and look at the pattern to see if you included instructions for making them big. Otherwise, I'll need your help.

I hope this mouse doesn't come alive like the last one did....seriously. uggh...who knows how long it's been there? Well, it's not smelly so it must be fairly fresh. I'm hoping a snake comes up from the cellar tonight to take it away.


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## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *herewearetogether* 
SO WHAT!
He's only like 54 now,
which is only slightly older than I am ( well, maybe over 30 years older..)
he plays Agent Gibbs in a show called NCIS . sometimes i miss tv








here, that's him.
Don't laugh!!


I watch that show every now and then. Or I watch Bones, since they are on at the same time. It just depends on the show topic of the week. I like watching Criminal Minds probably because of the psychology involved.

Did anyone watch the new CSI without Grissom?







Now he was a sexy, smart, gray haired man.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ernalala* 
What do you mean? The black or the blonde reminds you of your being another person? Just curious.

In Belgium, I dyed my hair at 16 since my parents wouldn't allow it earlier, lol, so I went for it right away! I've had it canelle, dark maroon, dark brown, bluish black, to pitch black and kept that black for a looong time. It suited my style (which has always been quite dark/blackish







). Later introduced more colour in my life and dress over the years and had a period of wearing more colour than ever (but it didn't really 'fit' me), now I feel that I'm still/again grabbing at the black/dark most of the time, sometimes mixed with dramatic colour, I just love the contrast, lol. My hair is not black anymore but it suits me as I am. I am not 'more' or 'less' 'blackish' or even myself with my hair in it's natural colour iykwim .
You would NEVER EVER see me dressed in white







. I got one white dress, I've been wearing it maybe ONCE? It's not even my wedding dress, since I married in a silver/pink dress with a black velvet long gilet (I swore I would never marry in white and kept to that promise - lol).


I have NEVER altered the color of my hair. I have sometimes thought it would be interesting to try more reddish highlights or maybe some unusual pink or purple color. But I never have done it because I've heard so many people say it really dries out their hair or thins their hair.

I have dark brown hair and started getting my first 'WHITE' hair at the age of 24.5 (it was in January 1999 that I found the first one). There is a distinction between white and grey. For me, white hair is the loss of hair pigment caused by smoking, poor diet or stress. Grey seems to appear in older people.

I have some hair in the in between stages of color loss, some with more brown, some that look slightly blondish, some that are pure white. They are mostly sprouted from the top and front of my head, not so much in the back of my head.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 

Did anyone watch the new CSI without Grissom?







Now he was a sexy, smart, gray haired man.

I haven't watched TV in years. Was he the guy from the Las Vegas CSI?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 

I have NEVER altered the color of my hair. I have sometimes thought it would be interesting to try more reddish highlights or maybe some unusual pink or purple color. But I never have done it because I've heard so many people say it really dries out their hair or thins their hair.

I have dark brown hair and started getting my first 'WHITE' hair at the age of 24.5 (it was in January 1999 that I found the first one). There is a distinction between white and grey. For me, white hair is the loss of hair pigment caused by smoking, poor diet or stress. Grey seems to appear in older people.

I have some hair in the in between stages of color loss, some with more brown, some that look slightly blondish, some that are pure white. They are mostly sprouted from the top and front of my head, not so much in the back of my head.

I've dyed my hair brown and red when I was in my 20's. It can be fun but I can't do the maintenance.

There's another mama here (who is also in Alaska, yoo hoo Brighton!) who uses henna in her hair. She said it turns it a little red but makes it super healthy...I'm tempted but it's permanent I think.

My appearance has definitely 'peaked'. It's so weird to watch the changes slowly appear, the fine lines the dull hair.... but I'm not the type to fight it. I want to grow old gracefully and with dignity. I'm also a real believer in the power of inner beauty, grace and confidence.

DD has finally gone to bed and is letting me enjoy my brandy. Oh how I wish I knew how to make an Alexander!


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## 106657

I am a red head. The only one in my family. Every single family member has dark hair and dark eyes. I am the turd in the punch bowl!!


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## expat-mama

hi everyone... it's nice to see the chatting picking up so much in this thread. we have a great group of ladies around here, i think. i'm glad to have found you.
As for me, it's been a shitty weekend. i'm in the middle of having another miscarriage








i'm just lost as to what i'm feeling. i don't know where to go from here. what to do, how to approach my life now. i'm moving back to Canada so my husband can start his phD, giving up my job and planning to take a long career break to start our family...but what if I can't? then what am I doing?
this was supposed to be the next stage of my life, i've been planning everything around this and looking forward to this for soo long- my whole life! and now... what if it never happens? i feel like i have nothing in front of me.








i'm not sure i can face the challenges that may come in regards to this. i don't want to whine or be so full of self-pity, but gosh i've been through so many tough things just to get to where i am, i was just hoping that this, something so natural, something that comes so easily to some people would be wonderful and happy thing for us. and now it's just not. why does everything have to be so hard?


----------



## Mimi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 
i'm in the middle of having another miscarriag :


I am so sorry







I miscarried last week, too. if you want to talk, pm me, i'm here.







:


----------



## ernalala

oh I'm so very sorry expat-mama... this must be sooo hard...
And the same for you, herwearetogether...

Maybe it's just a wave of really bad luck? That such is happening now does not necessarily mean that it will never be possible to start your own family?

I just don't know what to say, really. I've never been through this myself, have been very lucky. I have known it happen to others and know it can be really heavy to deal with... since you are dealing with loss, major disappointment, and fear and so much more.


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## Mimi

thank you.
hardest for me will be playgroup on wednesday. there are a lot of pregnant ladies, i'm not sure i'll go, but i should. :/


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## BaBaBa

Oh XP, I am so sorry.
























It's such a personal ordeal, I can't think of anything to say other than I'm thinking of you.

You're so closing to coming home. Maybe once you're here and settled a bit your luck will change.


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## Mimi

just wanted to say hi everyone,just got home from visiting the in-laws , am pleasantly drunk & now have a really messy house to tidy, how is everyone else doing?


----------



## ernalala

Quote:


Originally Posted by *herewearetogether* 
& now have a really messy house to tidy, how is everyone else doing?

About messy houses, we had some mess to clean up today. (Uhm regular cleaning REALLY needs to be done but that got postponed all week long because somehow by the time every day was over I'd been busy with all kinds of home and kids stuff and wondering when the real cleaning would get done  Our little one went to the basement with daddy and told him something was broken. My husband called me downstairs with an 'uhooooh'. We had an unused large glass table there, which seemed to have broken in two, overnight, one part had totally shattered on the floor. Nice surprise! We hadn't heard any noise overnight, though it must have been pretty loud







. Our neighbours did hear sth lol. Luckily no-one was there when it happened so no-one got hurt. Guess we'd been overloading the top a bit too much with 'dumped stuff'.
We were trying to get rid of the table eventually but this was not really the way we'd had in mind














. I am so happy now that we don't have any more glass covered tables or cupboards other than this one, except for the mirrored slide-doors in our bedroom, with a toy throwing 3y old in the house







.
Positive result: we got the much wanted space in the basement (probably for more dumping over the years, lol).








Tbh, having tv in the house for the kids has been a life-saver for us today, gave us the much needed opportunity to clean the big dangerously sharp mess







.


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## ernalala

Oh yes, herewearetogether: to boost your mood: you look absolutely fabulous on that wedding picture of yours!
WHAT are you doing on this list lol, I thought that natural beauty's always got plentiful of friends







??? Well, I guess I got the answer already, and it's mostly circumstances (and maybe sometimes our introverted/shy/reserved or otherwise 'different' (?)characters involved) that make us 'lonely' or 'alone' at some stage in our lives.


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 
hi everyone... it's nice to see the chatting picking up so much in this thread. we have a great group of ladies around here, i think. i'm glad to have found you.
As for me, it's been a shitty weekend. i'm in the middle of having another miscarriage








i'm just lost as to what i'm feeling. i don't know where to go from here. what to do, how to approach my life now. i'm moving back to Canada so my husband can start his phD, giving up my job and planning to take a long career break to start our family...but what if I can't? then what am I doing?
this was supposed to be the next stage of my life, i've been planning everything around this and looking forward to this for soo long- my whole life! and now... what if it never happens? i feel like i have nothing in front of me.








i'm not sure i can face the challenges that may come in regards to this. i don't want to whine or be so full of self-pity, but gosh i've been through so many tough things just to get to where i am, i was just hoping that this, something so natural, something that comes so easily to some people would be wonderful and happy thing for us. and now it's just not. why does everything have to be so hard?

















Quote:


Originally Posted by *herewearetogether* 
I am so sorry







I miscarried last week, too. if you want to talk, pm me, i'm here.







:

Hi mamas, I am so sorry for you. What a tough thing to be going through.














.


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## 106657

Morning mamas. How was everyone's weekend? Mine was good. My 2 dd's a friend and her dd all had a girls day. Just relaxing, laughing, chit chat, and movies and pizza.


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## Mimi

dh & me started a diet today, i'm hoping to lose around 20 kg & then when i reached that goal i want to get pregnant again, i just want to be as healthy as possible before we try again.
how was your weekend?


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Morning mamas. How was everyone's weekend? Mine was good. My 2 dd's a friend and her dd all had a girls day. Just relaxing, laughing, chit chat, and movies and pizza.

That sounds like fun! Call me crazy but I am so looking forward to the teen years









Our weekend was pretty crumby.

My Dad came which was great. He dealt with that mouse which wasn't so fresh after all







He said he could smell it when he came into the house uke I had probably just gotten used to it.

He can't handle DD for too long by himself so it's never really the break I hope for and sometimes I wonder why he ever comes here. Everything is wrong, wrong, wrong and I don't do anything right. I don't have the right shaped pots, I don't fill up the stock tank the right way. He thinks waaaay too much about how to do things and is almost adversarial if you don't agree. I know he does a lot of it to annoy me.

It makes it very hard to actually accept help from him. It's just too big a deal. For example, he offered to bring in firewood. I reluctantly agreed.
Him: "Do you have a box?'
Me: "No, We use the wood apron'
Him: 'A box is better'
Me: 'Not for us'
Him: 'What about the lid of a garbage tin'
Me:








Him: "What about that big metal box?' (This is the box that holds the wood beside the fireplace and would be impossible to lift if filled to capacity)
Me: "Never mind. I'll bring in the wood"
Him: 'Oh give me the wood apron'

EVERY little thing is like this







:

Anyhow, DD and I got very sick this weekend. Last night we both had high fevers and I was vomiting. I wasn't sure how I was going to cope but we seem to have put the worst behind us now and are spending the day snuggling, trying to get better. It's so mild it looks like good weather for making snowmen.


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## ~PurityLake~

Last Sunday at UU church, another mom there told me her son had a little bit of a cold. I shrugged it off and said, eh, it's just a cold, no worries. My girls have so much fun there. But that day they did not want to stay downstairs in the 2-4 year old room. They didn't want to stay with me in the 'Wiggle Room' (a room I can see the speaker and hear them, but they can't see or hear us). They were just so needy and clingy that day. Well, the very next day, big surprise, Abigail has a cold, the day after that, Sophia and I have a cold. I actually lost my voice Saturday and Sunday and the three of us still have a terrible cough. We all skipped church this Sunday. I have been playing my Sims 2 game again. It's easy to play because I can pause/save every any time I want and everything is exactly as I left it even if I don't get back to it for hours.


----------



## BaBaBa

Oh I avoid getting sick or coming in contact with 'sickies' at any cost! I just can't afford to get sick. I don't have a husband around to lean on if I'm out of commission.

Ernala, I know what you mean about TV... We're TV free but I often find there's a competitiveness with other TV free parents (







like so much about parenting). Anyhow, in the few hours that I was stricken, before DD got really sick we just watched Jungle Book on the computer over and over again. I had never sen it before...I still have no idea whats going on in it







I just had to have her occupied. I was too weak and had no voice to even read to her.


----------



## 106657

Boy sounds like everyone is getting sick. I hope you feel better soon.

BaBaBa: Totally get you on the Dad thing. Sometimes I think my Dad is not happy until he picks at me a bit. It's this whole strange dynamic that sometimes I feel is too much trouble. The best thing that happened to our relationship was not having daily contact. That's just me though, because I try very hard not to be disrespectful to my parents, if I saw, talked to him to often, boy that would be trouble!


----------



## 106657

Morning mamas. How was everyone's night? My dd's were at each others throat last night. Just a non stop pick fest!! I have to go to my room so when I am smiling at the things they say to each other, they don't catch me.


----------



## BaBaBa

Thanks RV

I don't talk to my Dad every day. I probably should now that he's living alone. Why do they have to be that way? Is it because their generation is just so messed up that they try to show their love through criticism and debate? Oh well, what scares me are those moments where I recognize some of my parents traits in myself









Just picturing you privately snickering away while the DD's have it out makes me laugh.









My fever is back today but MIL is here and has taken DD off my hands. I tried to finish the laundry but I've just ended up going back to bed.


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Last night my daughters were playing in the bedroom. We heard screams and both of us went running in the room. My husband lifted up the knocked over dresser that had fallen on top of Sophia and Abigail was inside the '3rd down from the top' drawer (4 drawers total).








Poor babies. Abigail's arm was scraped but the worst was the corner of the bottom drawer had landed on Sophia's ankle and she was trapped until we got into the room. It looked much better by bedtime an hour later and this morning looks WAY WAY better. Last night before bed, they were both spinning and dancing and Sophia wasn't favoring her left ankle at all by then.


----------



## BaBaBa

What a terrible fright for all of you!








Glad everyone's ok.


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## 106657

oh my gosh Purity. What a fright!! I am glad everyone's ok.


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## ernalala

Luckily your daughters are fine after that accident. Yes, drawers are tricky, I even found it as a warining on a piece of furniture we'd putrchased; kids do try and use drawers as a step ladder and mostly the outcome is the cupboard tipping over. Mine havn't thaught of this yet.

I remember when my sister started jumping on my little table in my room and invited me to join 'because it was so much fun'. She was 6, I was 3, and of course I would 'trust' my big sister and joined her. The fun didn't last long, because (of course  the table cracked and collapsed under four jumping feet... We were not really hurt, more shocked, and afraid for our parent's reaction when they'd know what we'd done. Of course, they were just relieved we were ok and reprimanded my sister a little. I was so sad my little drawing tble was gone, too.
BUT, I got a real big 'adult size' desk as a result .


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## ~kitnkaboodle~

Ugh my week has been terrible so far. My car blew up. I have a headache and work has been busy busy busy. I haven't got any sleep either because my family is just being stupid lately. They never call me when they don't have an issue but as soon as I do something they don't like they are all up in that shit like white on rice. Its totally and utterly rediculious. I'm about ready to cut the whole lot of them off


----------



## marlne

Hi, I hope it's okay to join in here..
I think I fit? Sorry, I haven't read any other recent posts just yet but I will try in a bit.
I basically have not much of a life right now it seems.
My DH works 6, sometimes 7 days a week and is gone anywhere between 12 and 14hrs.
We have one car and he's got it. I'm stranded at home with no car unless I really need it. If I really need it, I can get up early with the kids and we take him to work. But that also means having to pick him up at night too. His work is about a 20min drive from home.

We moved here in September and I have yet to make any friends. Oh and no nearby family either..
When I get out of the house, it's usually a sunday and it's to grocery shop. I think the cold weather keeps people inside too. I never see other little kids. When it's a bit warm out, I'm the only parent around with a toddler.

This situation is getting a bit depressing. I have noone to talk to..
Even lastnight when I tried to talk to my husband about something bothering me (something some people said about me at his work) he didn't want to talk about it and said it's nothing. But it bothered me. So my needs are not all being met I feel.
Then this morning before he left he said "thanks for sex lastnight" and I said "no prob, thanks for meeting My needs too"..















Of course we didnt have sex last night.. I feel like he gets his needs met (his seem to be through sex) and I'm alone doing things on my own and noone to talk with.

Ugh, sorry.. This all probably seems a bit much and tmi.
I'll end now, I think I'm just frustrated is all..lol


----------



## marlne

Expat-mama and herewearetogether, I'm really sorry for what you are going through.
I had 4 losses before I stayed pregnant with my little guy.. Even in the beginning of my pregnancy I thought I was losing him too. Turns out it was a twin I was losing but he hung in there.

I know how difficult it can be and I'm sorry to see you two going through that.

kitnkaboodle~ Wow! Sorry to see your car blew up!

Purity♥Lake~ How scary!! I'm so glad you kids are okay.


----------



## BaBaBa

~kitnkaboodle~
marlne


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *marlne* 
We have one car and he's got it. I'm stranded at home with no car unless I really need it. If I really need it, I can get up early with the kids and we take him to work. But that also means having to pick him up at night too. His work is about a 20min drive from home.

The same is true for me, but my husband isn't gone as long as yours. I don't mind much because if I don't feel like going anywhere (which most of the time I don't) I can blame it on lack of transportation.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *marlne* 
Then this morning before he left he said "thanks for sex last night" and I said "no prob, thanks for meeting My needs too"..















Of course we didn't have sex last night.. I feel like he gets his needs met (his seem to be through sex) and I'm alone doing things on my own and no one to talk with.

I can so relate... if your spouse-s/o is being a jerk, not validating your emotions, not treating you in a respectful way, why oh why would you want to be intimate with them? Sometimes I think they just don't get that. And why is it that just having sex seems to be enough for that type of person? Sex does not fix anything.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 
I can so relate... if your spouse-s/o is being a jerk, not validating your emotions, not treating you in a respectful way, why oh why would you want to be intimate with them? Sometimes I think they just don't get that. And why is it that just having sex seems to be enough for that type of person? Sex does not fix anything.

I think men are wired completely differently from us.

The clever man knows that if he is attentive to our needs, helps with the housework, kids etc. then we are so much more responsive.

Sex IS the connection for them. But for women we need to 'connect' before we're interested in sex.


----------



## cjuniverse

I have zero real life friends, all of my social contact and friendships are with people online.

My last real life friendship ended this year.

I'm holding out for the real thing, which has not really been the case most of my life...most of my life, I've just accepted whatever came my way.

Plus, I'm weird and on the margins of society in many ways, and not too many people can relate/vice versa.

So, hi.


----------



## faithsstuff

Hey all, just wanted to poke my head in and say...well, hi. Watching ghost hunters and hiding from my fussy 8 week old.
peace
faith


----------



## NettleTea

Mind if I join?









I have no friends online or offline. Seems that with both cases everyone already has what they need and there is never any room left for me.

My husband is a great companion and we thoroughly enjoy each other's company. But we both feel a bit alone at times not having any others around to simply have fellowship with.

We would like for our son to have other toddlers to play with as he has greatly enjoyed this the few times it has happened.

It surprises me to see this tribe. I thought we were the only ones without friends.


----------



## marlne

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
I think men are wired completely differently from us.

The clever man knows that if he is attentive to our needs, helps with the housework, kids etc. then we are so much more responsive.

Sex IS the connection for them. But for women we need to 'connect' before we're interested in sex.

So true, so true!! And what I'd like to know is where that man went? The one that was more like that in the beginning of our relationship.lol

Purity♥Lake~ Thanks for sharing.. It's good to know I'm not alone with my situation, although I'm sorry you are going through something similar too.


----------



## Mimi

to be honest, i don't think so.
dh always helps with the houswwork,
yesterday, when i was cleaning the kitchen & he was cleaning the lounge, i was all "why didn't you clean the crayon off the wall?" & he was really surprised when i pointed it out, he just had not noticed it.
i think men aren't mean, just blind. ( & sometimes a little silly indeed..)


----------



## BaBaBa

Hi Grylliade
Hi cjuniverse
Hi faithstuff

HWAT: Yeah, they are definitely blind. In our house we just call it 'man eyes'.


----------



## BaBaBa

I'm a breath away from running out of the house screaming!

My sick super needy DD is driving me nuts!!!









At least I know she doesn't hate me.... When I had my little breakdown







she was very concerned and comforted me.


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
I think men are wired completely differently from us.

The clever man knows that if he is attentive to our needs, helps with the housework, kids etc. then we are so much more responsive.

Sex IS the connection for them. But for women we need to 'connect' before we're interested in sex.


I know that is true. I just don't like it. I think men and women are inherently incompatible.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 
I know that is true. I just don't like it. I think men and women are inherently incompatible.

I trust there's some higher reason for our differences....









there is an alternative y'know....


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
I trust there's some higher reason for our differences....









there is an alternative y'know....


----------



## BaBaBa

Actually, there's couple of alternatives now that I'm thinking about it...









But it is good to have a man about when a mouse trap needs emptied and a few other things as well


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

I guess I am lucky that I have a man that meets my needs and I rarely ever have to ask .


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~kitnkaboodle~* 
I guess I am lucky that I have a man that meets my needs and I rarely ever have to ask .











I do love DH dearly and he is a wonderful husband. I get frustrated because I hate to ASK for things. I want him to just know....
He does give me whatever I ask for.

Actually, you just made my Valentine's, by making me realize this.... thank you!


----------



## ~PurityLake~

So this morning my husband and I were doing a quick review of finances... he informed me he paid that credit card bill online for the month, since I'd mentioned it needed paying this week (I usually pay all the bills). Then I asked how much we have left in checking and told him about something I am hoping we can afford to buy for *me* if we don't need to start setting aside money for rent again [we prepay 6 months lot rent from October on with our annual PFD's and the time is almost up for us to start paying every month again]. He tells me he was already planning on buying me that exact thing I want because I had mentioned it before ... I think he was waiting to buy it for me on Valentine's Day.


----------



## BaBaBa

awh that's sweet







:

What is it?

I've been half hoping to see a delivery truck come to the house today ... but nothing.









I wasn't really expecting anything. It just would have been a nice suprise.

Last year, after all, DH gave me an ipod for Valentine's and then put all his music on it


----------



## 106657

Morning mamas. Happy Valentine's Day!! I have been so busy the last few days. Things are crazy around here. How is everyone? I haven't had a chance to read everthing yet. I hope to get back here later today. I got chores to fininsh up, yuck!!

Have a great day.


----------



## BaBaBa

: Happy Valentine's Day to you!

Some flowers came this morning which was a surprise. I had a moment where I thought it was some sort of mix up, or had a secret admirer because the poem on the card was so unlike DH...









DD did a finger painting which we photographed and emailed to DH.


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
awh that's sweet







:

What is it?









Sims 2 expansion pack called Apartment Life.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 

Some flowers came this morning which was a surprise. I had a moment where I thought it was some sort of mix up, or had a secret admirer because the poem on the card was so unlike DH...









Much better than last year's!


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 







Sims 2 expansion pack called Apartment Life.


Oh cool! I never played that when I was in to video games but it totally intrigued me. it's right up my alley.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 
Much better than last year's!


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 







: Happy Valentine's Day to you!

Some flowers came this morning which was a surprise. I had a moment where I thought it was some sort of mix up, or had a secret admirer because the poem on the card was so unlike DH...









My husband brought home a vase with roses with a pink monkey holding the vase







. I'll be giving the monkey to Abigail since she loves pink so much. He also bought me a bar of chocolate which I shared with both girls. I was wondering why he was so late getting home tonight.. cause he was thinking of me.


----------



## MittensKittens

Hi ladies!

Can I join? I've moved around all over the world for years, and have very few friends and meaningful contacts with people who share the same life vision that I do. Recently I have also lost my job and I really feel the need to turn my life around in many ways. I am at home with two young kids on my own, in another country. It doesn't look like I'll get another job in the near future either (baby is only 6 weeks) and I find myself soooo bored







. I can do with some company, even if it's online


----------



## soccermama

Hello All! Would love to join. I have a few friends - mostly sin (without) kiddos, though. Very few mama friends - probably only one or two that I can call up and have a playdate with. But I'm reconnecting with some old high school girlfriends that have families/kids now or will soon, so that's nice.
I work with mainly men, so I don't get the gossipy, real girly connection that I do with female co-workers. I guess that's why I'm on MDC so much! LOL









H and I have mutual couple friends, but again, only a handful of those couples of have kids so it's hard to relate some times and go out at a drop of a hat.


----------



## expat-mama

Hi everyone and a belated Happy







Day. I'm rejoining the living and happy to check in here again. I'm feeling a bit rejuvenated lately after talking with one of my few good long-distance friends and deciding to try to start-up a small business together in the near future. I'm pretty excited about it and I haven't been excited about anything like this in a while so it feels really good. It's like I can almost hear the music again.
And only 10 days 'till I get on a plane!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Oh cool! I never played that when I was in to video games but it totally intrigued me. it's right up my alley.









DH and I have a pirated copy of the Sims 2...we played out a few games a while ago, it was ok. We're not so into computer games but we do have a few that we like to engage in every now and then. My favourite of faves is Civilization- it's aaaaweeeesome. I like controlling the world as a benevolent dictator.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 







: Happy Valentine's Day to you!

Some flowers came this morning which was a surprise. I had a moment where I thought it was some sort of mix up, or had a secret admirer because the poem on the card was so unlike DH...








DD did a finger painting which we photographed and emailed to DH.

Sweet!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Hi ladies!

Can I join? I've moved around all over the world for years, and have very few friends and meaningful contacts with people who share the same life vision that I do. Recently I have also lost my job and I really feel the need to turn my life around in many ways. I am at home with two young kids on my own, in another country. It doesn't look like I'll get another job in the near future either (baby is only 6 weeks) and I find myself soooo bored







. I can do with some company, even if it's online









Hi Mittens, where do you live? It's difficult living abroad. Congratulations on your newest little one and welcome!


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 
Hi Mittens, where do you live? It's difficult living abroad. Congratulations on your newest little one and welcome!









Thanks! I'm in Serbia. Before that, I was in Korea. I notice you are in East Asia - where do you live?


----------



## ernalala

Hi kittensmittens,

here another one abroad. Not moving around, but I know what you mean, it's often lonely/alone in this situation. I am home too, with two little children. I left my best friends behind in my coi, at least I can be happy they still are (however long distance but nevertheless) my best friends. The unfortunate side of this means that I didn't make any real friends around here and definitely no new best friends, that's been 8 years - lol. Don't see much change to happen soon either. I don't get to go out on my own much and seem to have difficulty to connect to the ppl I do meet, I always feel as an outsider and part of this priginates me from being from a different country/culture/background.
And while I lived in a cosy small town with a appr 28000 ppl population (for the town itsef) and a 85000 ppl population (including suburban areas) in my coi, I now live in an ever-expanding capital with a population of several millions, most of the population living in appartment buidings (and ever-expanding building sites). Even though ppl here are known as very hospitable, this is somehow a mixed concept in a modernising society where population and housing is expanding so rapidly that anonimity and criminal figures are expanding too. Family life is highly valued in this country, as in my cio. As it is true that in my coi, more often it depends on the family members' efforts how good the family's continued connection is, for many, friendships are definitely on the same level as family life back there. I truly don't have the same experience in my host country, family life here is definitely put on a much higher step than friendship, at least, culturally speaking. I didn't research any of this, but these are my personal observations. Both of these societies have their good and less favorable sides on family, friendship and neighbourly relationships.

I believe many of the ppl on this list have less or no friends because of a move, or an isolated kind of living situation. And we expats definitely belong to an extreme version of that.

Welcome.


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ernalala* 
Hi kittensmittens,

here another one abroad. Not moving around, but I know what you mean, it's often lonely/alone in this situation. I am home too, with two little children. I left my best friebnds behind in my coi, at least I can be happy they still are my, however long distance but nevertheless, my best friends. The unfortunate side of this means that I didn't make any real friends around here and definitely no new best friends, that's been 8 years - lol. Don't see much change to happen soon either.
While I lived in a cosy small town with a 28000 ppl population for the town itsef and a 85000 ppl population including suburban areas in my cıo, I know live in an ever-expanding capital with a population of several millions, most of the population living in appartment buidings (and ever-expanding building sites). Even though ppl here are known as very hospitable, this is somehow a mixed concept in a modernis,ng society where population and housing is expanding so rapidly that anonimity and criminal figures are expanding too.

I believe many of the ppl on this list have less or no friends because of a move, or an isolated kind of living situation. And we expats definitely belong to an extreme version of that.

Hi! Great to see there are some people in the same situation!

Do you stay in touch with people back home? My friends find it hard to keep in touch, and while it's nice to hear them when I do, it does seem to be a bit of a one way street unfortunately. Over here, there is very much a small town attitude although I live in the capital, and everyone seems to have circles of people that they have known either since early childhood or from university. As a foreigner, you will always be a bit of an outsider. And after so many years abroad, I'm basically a foreigner _wherever_ I go 







.

You are multi lingual to, I see. That's great. So are we. We do two languages at the moment but I want to add a third soon as well.


----------



## expat-mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Thanks! I'm in Serbia. Before that, I was in Korea. I notice you are in East Asia - where do you live?

I'm in Seoul right now, we've been here for a while now. Before that I was in Japan and Thailand, Costa Rica and the US. I lived in South Africa for a short time when I was in high school as well. My husband and I have traveled all over Europe, the middle east and Africa as well but haven't quite lived in those places although we've spent lots of time in there.
We're moving back to Canada in 10 days after what seems like such a looong time away, and I'm looking forward to it, but I'm also a bit worried that I won't settle into "settled" life.
What did you do in Korea and what are you doing in Serbia? How did you find Korea while you were here?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ernalala* 
I believe many of the ppl on this list have less or no friends because of a move, or an isolated kind of living situation. And we expats definitely belong to an extreme version of that.

Ain't that the truth.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Do you stay in touch with people back home? My friends find it hard to keep in touch, and while it's nice to hear them when I do, it does seem to be a bit of a one way street unfortunately. Over here, there is very much a small town attitude although I live in the capital, and everyone seems to have circles of people that they have known either since early childhood or from university. As a foreigner, you will always be a bit of an outsider. And after so many years abroad, I'm basically a foreigner _wherever_ I go







.

Yeah I can relate...I definitely feel like a foreigner pretty much everywhere. But at the same time, I kind of feel like I can slip in and be local anywhere. At this point, you could pretty much drop me anywhere on earth and I could find my way around well enough to eat, sleep, get to a bus/train station or airport, befriend a local, and stay pretty safe lol.
I only have a few (read 4) friends back home in the US and Canada, only one that I email or talk with regularly and with whom I still feel a real and true bond.
But I like this tribe, there are some really great ladies here! Wouldn't it be cool if we could all teleport to one location and just hang out? That would be weird...and fun!


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 
I'm in Seoul right now, we've been here for a while now. Before that I was in Japan and Thailand, Costa Rica and the US. I lived in South Africa for a short time when I was in high school as well. My husband and I have traveled all over Europe, the middle east and Africa as well but haven't quite lived in those places although we've spent lots of time in there.
We're moving back to Canada in 10 days after what seems like such a looong time away, and I'm looking forward to it, but I'm also a bit worried that I won't settle into "settled" life.
What did you do in Korea and what are you doing in Serbia? How did you find Korea while you were here?

Oh, great! How do you like Seoul? And I am curious how it compares to Japan, where I have never been. I'm a journalist (or should I say was







?) and I travelled around Korea lots - the north too. I was there for four years and felt weird and unwelcome there at first (Korea can be very anti foreigner I found!) but I miss it now. When I had DD, I started working for an internet publication instead, so I could work from home. It was fun - I was writing about travel to all kind of places I'd never been to







. Now, I am trying to figure out where to go from here. I really want to work from home and not have to put the kids in day care. I have even considered trying to sew for money because I love sewing. Don't know if that is realistic though. Otherwise I might move back to Asia. I had a job offer in Hong Kong but, I really want to stay with the kids a while longer! I feel my son needs to be at least six months before I go to work outside of the home.

How exciting that you are moving back - must be very scary as well though. Do you have much stuff to move, or are you selling/leaving behind things? What do you have planned for after the move?


----------



## ernalala

Oh wow now I see my former post's editing failed...

Indeed, my dh has some friends (in all degrees of friendship) from his teenage, high school and prep university, and university period, even still has contact with one or two friends from his army service days







. I'm still in touch with ppl I befriended between 17-23y of age, back in Belgium, and we keep in touch once in a while. At least my two bfs also do an effort to contact me, definitely on important occasions, and I went to a wedding of one of them last spring! They've been both visting once or twice too (not together, since they are not really befriended lol). One was here right after the birth of my first, which was so great (was actually planned during pregnancy but premature birth







)! I do notice that our correspondence and calling is somewhat lessening but I do not experience this as threathening for our friendships. The friendship is there and we are confident it stays there even if we would only contact each other twice a year and not even see one another yrarly. That's great. But deep in my heart I would wish to spent time with them and not miss a thing of each other's lives...!
I am positive we would have more visits from my coi if we would be residing at the touristic seaside of Turkey - lol







.

I wanted to add that that in Turkish culture family is considered as uttermost important. Well, that's the cae in my coi, too, but there I see that it really depends on the efforts made by members of the (expanded) family. If the effort lacks, family relationships may dry out, even between parents and children and/or siblings. On the other hand, friendships in western Europe are considered to be on about the same level of importance as family relations. While here, the family prevails above everything else. The people here are known for their hospitality, but it is not like that cliche for a full 100 percent. It definitely doesn't count for the large cities where ppl mainly live in large appartment buidings and life is often more anonymous. There may be a kind of village like neighbourly mentality but it really depends on the ppl living in your area. And it has it's positive and its downsides lol. We live in an urbanised area with little houses so you do know most of the ppl in yr street (lol, and they know you, definitely, as a foreigner; you come across ppl who say 'oh yes, you must be the ... xxx told me about...







). But I don't have the luck to have anyone in this neighbourhood that I can really 'connect' with, even though there are some really nice people among them. I am also careful about personal info because there may be some gossiping and you really don't know in what degree any of this information would be respected as private.









I do feel at home here AND there, and I do feel as an outsider in both places too. It's really a weird experience.









I would love to visit a place where both dh and I would be foreigners and see how that goes, that only happened on small minitrips within Europe thus far







.

I think it's funny though that in my country, I have been thought to be foreigner because of being with my husband, and vice versa they've been adressing him as foreigner here a few times too, looooool.

Yesterday I've been shopping on my own (then I can go criss-cross through all stores looking for what's on my list, not that it's really fun like that) and oh how I loathed to be on my own I felt like having a tea/break very much, but decided to go home just not to have to sit there alone - lol. Especially since I am so used to be around he kids all the time so always someone bablabla .

I guess that, as a journalist, you make contacts much more easily than me .

Also, since being a married woman, I tend to be much more reserved. It's a local cultural thing, I guess.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 
My favourite of faves is Civilization- it's aaaaweeeesome. I like controlling the world as a benevolent dictator.










I haven't played that in years!!!!
I lots many weeks of my life to that game... totally addictive.

Oh I'd love to get back in to a video game coma for a bit









Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 
But I like this tribe, there are some really great ladies here! Wouldn't it be cool if we could all teleport to one location and just hang out? That would be weird...and fun!











It's so interesting reading about your experiences.

Life seems so boring right now. Maybe it's just the winter blahs. But I am enjoying thinking of your hot, sunny locations (except Serbia







) and living a bit vicariously through you all.

I think I'll make a sweet potato casserole today ... with marshmallows. No apologies.


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ernalala* 
I wanted to add that that in Turkish culture family is considered as uttermost important. Well, that's the cae in my coi, too, but there I see that it really depends on the efforts made by members of the (expanded) family. If the effort lacks, family relationships may dry out, even between parents and children and/or siblings. On the other hand, friendships in western Europe are considered to be on about the same level of importance as family relations. While here, the family prevails above everything else. The people here are known for their hospitality, but it is not like that cliche for a full 100 percent. It definitely doesn't count for the large cities where ppl mainly live in large appartment buidings and life is often more anonymous. There may be a kind of village like neighbourly mentality but it really depends on the ppl living in your area. And it has it's positive and its downsides lol. We live in an urbanised area with little houses so you do know most of the ppl in yr street (lol, and they know you, definitely, as a foreigner; you come across ppl who say 'oh yes, you must be the ... xxx told me about...







). But I don't have the luck to have anyone in this neighbourhood that I can really 'connect' with, even though there are some really nice people among them. I am also careful about personal info because there may be some gossiping and you really don't know in what degree any of this information would be respected as private.









That sounds a lot like where I am. I'm in an apartment block, so you *think* that would be a bit different. Well, the local culture (which must be very similar to Turkey, and Serbia used to be under Turkish occupation for like, 500 years I think) has been blended with a nice healthy communist attitude.







So Every apartment block has still got its own "neighbors commitee" which is like a gossip machine







.

I have trouble connecting with them as well. I do have a woman who has kids about the same age as mine, and they play together. Conversations don't get much further than "isn't this inflation horrible, did you see what the price of rice has got to?"







Which is better than nothing, to be sure. But generally I'm that crazy foreigner who chooses to have kids on her own (imagine that!) and a bunch of other, really really crazy stuff like UC and not vaxing. At least it gives them something to talk about!

Oh, did someone mention Civilization!? I love that! Haven't played it in a while now (for some reason won't work properly on my new Mac







) but I've been a fan since it first came out! Anyone remember Civ 1?


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ernalala* 
The friendship is there and we are confident it stays there even if we would only contact each other twice a year and not even see one another yrarly. That's great. But deep in my heart I would wish to spent time with them and not miss a thing of each other's lives...!

And yeah same here. One friend from Suriname called me last year saying she was in Slovenia, and is it OK for her to come to Belgrade to meet up tomorrow? Before that call, I hadn't heard from her for two years. And sure enough, it was like we had never been apart at all! Since the visit, we have exchanged like two emails... But with that friendship, I know it will last forever despite the long distance thing just not working.


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
I haven't played that in years!!!!
I lots many weeks of my life to that game... totally addictive.

Oh I'd love to get back in to a video game coma for a bit


























video game coma

Lucky for me, I can pause the game whenever which is conducive to properly paying attention to my girlies.

I've never heard of the game Civilization, but it sure sounds intriguing.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Anyone remember Civ 1?

You mean there's a Civilization 2 ?!?!?!?!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 

Lucky for me, I can pause the game whenever which is conducive to properly paying attention to my girlies.


see.... that would drive me nuts and probably a good reason why I don't play anymore


----------



## 106657

Hello mamas, I have been so busy. I hope everyone had a great weekend. I am going back to read now.


----------



## 106657

Wow, so much going on while I was busy. Welcome to , marlne, cjuniverse, grylliade, faithsstuff, mittenskittens and soccermama. I hope I didn't miss anyone.


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
You mean there's a Civilization 2 ?!?!?!?!

You can seriously be on civ 1














, it's been like, more than ten years since I played that... I think we're on 4 now?


----------



## ernalala

Wel, my location (central Turkey) isn't that 'hot' right now lol (speaking about the weather...). We got snow coming again and it's around 0 degrees right now, nights are freezing







:.

At least we've had some pleasant pre-spring sun (with some storm as little extra  last week I'd almost take the kids to the park when I realised we wouldn't want to get hit by stuff or branches flying around, and I had to hold my 3y old since he wasn't strong enough to walk in the strong wind







.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Hello mamas, I have been so busy. I hope everyone had a great weekend. I am going back to read now.

...must be a good book to keep you off MDC







!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
You can seriously be on civ 1














, it's been like, more than ten years since I played that... I think we're on 4 now?

I can't imagine how they improved it.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *ernalala* 
Wel, my location (central Turkey) isn't that 'hot' right now lol (speaking about the weather...). We got snow coming again and it's around 0 degrees right now, nights are freezing







:.


I had no idea! (obviously







)


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

Happy belated V Day everyone. I had a wonderful time. My boyfriend took me out to a fancy restaurant and got me this huge heart pillow. Then when we got home he ran me a bubble bath lit candles poured me a mojito and Rubbed my back. All in all it was a good night


----------



## Shane

Hey ladies! We've had some warm weather here. 70's all last week. My allergies are killing me. Guess I'm allergic to Elm trees 'cause that's what the weatherchannel.com is saying is going around here in Atlanta.
I've been outside a lot, but these allergies have given me a serious sinus infection. Oh well, it's so worth it. I'll take 3 months of sinus infection over feeling healthy and cold, any day.
Today is low 50's and I'm trying real hard to convince myself to go outside while I can before it's in the 40's this weekend. The wind is no fun. ernalala - you just convinced me that it's warm enough for me to get out there and enjoy myself.

I hope yall are all having a nice day!


----------



## expat-mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
I can't imagine how they improved it.









I had no idea! (obviously







)

Waaaah- Civ IV is soooo awesome! Way better than Civ III- I never played the first one. The soundtrack to Civ IV is one of the best features IMO- I think it actually won awards in the music world. Check out this video on youtube about Civ IV. I could play Civ IV for days on end...luckily my life lately hasn't allowed that. But I fear that soon it will







. I'm really not that much of a game junkie but I am looking forward to getting home, hunkering down by my new imac with a bowl of green grapes, perhaps a joint, and CIV! Not everyone's idea of an exciting evening, but it sounds pretty good to me.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Oh, great! How do you like Seoul? And I am curious how it compares to Japan, where I have never been. I'm a journalist (or should I say was







?) and I travelled around Korea lots - the north too. I was there for four years and felt weird and unwelcome there at first (Korea can be very anti foreigner I found!) but I miss it now. When I had DD, I started working for an internet publication instead, so I could work from home. It was fun - I was writing about travel to all kind of places I'd never been to







. Now, I am trying to figure out where to go from here. I really want to work from home and not have to put the kids in day care. I have even considered trying to sew for money because I love sewing. Don't know if that is realistic though. Otherwise I might move back to Asia. I had a job offer in Hong Kong but, I really want to stay with the kids a while longer! I feel my son needs to be at least six months before I go to work outside of the home.

How exciting that you are moving back - must be very scary as well though. Do you have much stuff to move, or are you selling/leaving behind things? What do you have planned for after the move?

Seoul is ok. Better than my previous location in Korea, Gwangju. But as far as Asian cities go, it's pretty low on my list of good ones. Korea is definitely pretty anti-foreigner, one reason why I'm so ready to leave here. I find Korea in general too homogeneous. I used to travel around a bit, but now I find once you've been to one mountain you've been to them all, once you've been to one island or seaside location you've been to them all. Restaurants are all the same everywhere...everywhere in Korea looks like everywhere else in Korea. There's no freaking variety here. lol. And I find it really difficult to relate to Koreans on anything but a very superficial level.
I like Japan a lot more than Korea- but it was just too expensive there. I found the Japanese way more open-minded and forward-thinking than Koreans. And Japan is better organized, businesses there run like businesses, it's cleaner and nicer, people in general are better educated and not so closed off from the rest of the world.
I'm so sick of Asia though, haha. When we first came here I loved it- it was great being an expat, traveling all over and being part of an international community. I'll miss that. All the things about Asia that annoy the hell out of me are getting to be too much after 5 years and I need a break. I want fixed prices, businesses that are organized, fresh air and clean streets, crowd-less places, trees, more access to people that think independently and to not feel like so much of an outsider. Bah- I'll probably be itching to leave Canada again after a few years, though







. Hopefully some travel every once in a while will suffice. I really don't want to be a wanderer forever.

We don't have much stuff to send/bring back. We've mostly just sent books back. Boxes and boxes of them- luckily it's not so expensive to send them surface mail. Everything else we're just selling or giving away. We're so used to moving internationally, it's old hat now and we don't get too attached to things. For some reason books are different- we keep books. I feel like they are an investment...or a collection...or something.

After we get back to Canada...plans? That's a difficult one for me right now. We were planning on starting our family while my husband is in school for his phd. But our latest efforts in that department haven't amounted to anything but heartbreak... So that is still kind of a plan that I hope works out but right now I'm choosing not to think about it too much. Other than that, I'm not really excited to look for "work" in such a depressed economy. A friend of mine and I are considering starting up a business of something we always wanted to do together since high school that is outside both of our current "fields" of work. Right now we are in the initial stages of finding out if we have the guts to really try it together. But I hope it works out.

Considering moving to Hong Kong? It's nice there. I've heard it was nicer before the 97 changeover but it seemed great to me. I guess if you're going to live in China, Hong Kong is the only place to go...that or Shanghai. I liked Shanghai too. Have you been to HK before?

8 days 'till I get on my plane...


----------



## MittensKittens

This is the first version of civilization, it's fun to see - 




It's amazing how much they improved







.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 
I want fixed prices, businesses that are organized, fresh air and clean streets, crowd-less places, trees, more access to people that think independently and to not feel like so much of an outsider.
Yeah, those are not really things I find here in Serbia







I actually find Korea more friendly in some ways too, believe it or not.

After we get back to Canada...plans? That's a difficult one for me right now. We were planning on starting our family while my husband is in school for his phd. But our latest efforts in that department haven't amounted to anything but heartbreak... So that is still kind of a plan that I hope works out but right now I'm choosing not to think about it too much. Other than that, I'm not really excited to look for "work" in such a depressed economy. A friend of mine and I are considering starting up a business of something we always wanted to do together since high school that is outside both of our current "fields" of work. Right now we are in the initial stages of finding out if we have the guts to really try it together. But I hope it works out.
That is very exciting, I hope that that works out for you! If you find the right niche, you can make it even in this economy!

Considering moving to Hong Kong? It's nice there. I've heard it was nicer before the 97 changeover but it seemed great to me. I guess if you're going to live in China, Hong Kong is the only place to go...that or Shanghai. I liked Shanghai too. Have you been to HK before?
No, I have never been there, which is one of the reasons I am so weary. I did like Beijing though - as a short term visitor. Definitely not to live though. I am sure HK is a lot different, but I have kind of gotten used to where I am now and am reluctant to leave for some reason, even if, in truth, I am sooooo fed up with the place.

8 days 'till I get on my plane...









Someone pleeeaase explain to me how to do multiple quotes in one post


----------



## MittensKittens

What kind of weather have you all got? I woke up to lots of snow this morning. It looks really nice, but I am not someone who likes to go out in the cold. We might go to the mall to see what the last of the sales have to offer though.


----------



## Shane

expat-mama, I hope your new business goes well. I love that you have travelled so much. I always wanted to do that, but never met anyone who would go along with me. I did meet someone that was from Venezuela who was expat. But I didn't feel safe enough with him to travel with him though. How long have you been expat? Have you been everywhere you've wanted to go?

MittensKittens, Right now we have rain and a high of 60 today. Funny you got snow this morning. I was just reading an email that totally reminded me of my first year living in New England. I just laughed so hard I cried and couldn't see the computer screen. Dh had to finish reading the email to me. It's too long to share here. But it's about somebody who moved back to where they get a lot of snow and how much they loved all the snow. But by a month later they were crazy and so tired of snow. I hope you are enjoying yours.
I'm really over being cold too. And so tired of being bundled up so much that I don't even want to move. I'm tired of trying to save gas and money! I want to open my windows and let it be 75 degrees in the house all day long!


----------



## cjuniverse

Sigh, had to chime in on the men being 'hardwired' to be inconsiderate, disrespectful jerks thing.

So not true. Men are raised to be inconsiderate, disrespectful jerks. Women are raised to coddle them, circle the wagons around them no matter what, and to put up with their endless disrespect regardless of how much damage it does to us and our children.

There I go, being all radical feminist again. Seriously, though, it doesn't help any of us to keep perpetuating the notion that men 'can't help' mistreating us. If we want them to treat us like human beings, sooner or later we're going to have to stop making excuses for them.


----------



## ~PurityLake~

CJ, I don't know where anyone said it was ok for men to be jerks. The wired differently was in reference to the sex as a form of connection. As Bababa said, it's the clever man who has learned what a woman needs in order to feel connected.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 
Waaaah- Civ IV is soooo awesome! Way better than Civ III- I never played the first one. The soundtrack to Civ IV is one of the best features IMO- I think it actually won awards in the music world. Check out this video on youtube about Civ IV. I could play Civ IV for days on end...luckily my life lately hasn't allowed that. But I fear that soon it will







.

How embarrassing! I've only played Civ 1. I played on my PC at the time (now a long time mac girl







) and also whatever game system I had at the time....Nintendo? Can you tell it was ages ago?!?









Where were you all back then?!?!?!? This is the first I'm ever hearing of other women playing video games. Are we just closeted?









Gee... maybe I AM old?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 
I'm really not that much of a game junkie but I am looking forward to getting home, hunkering down by my new imac with a bowl of green grapes, perhaps a joint, and CIV! Not everyone's idea of an exciting evening, but it sounds pretty good to me.


That sounds pure bliss to me









Oh by the way, I love your new pics









Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
This is the first version of civilization, it's fun to see - 





yep. That's the one!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Someone pleeeaase explain to me how to do multiple quotes in one post























Click on the button in the lower right of the text box that has a + " in it. It should turn red when you click it. Click on as many posts as you would like to reply to and then hit POST REPLY

Shane, Nice to hear from you again







: How are things? Are you by any chance near Gwinnett County?


----------



## BaBaBa

expat-mama said:


> [URL="http://www.youtube.com/watch?[/QUOTE]
> 
> Whoooooa! AWESOME!


----------



## smeisnotapirate

*sigh*

Me.

I had a good friend in the area, but now that she has adopted her brother's boys and gone down the mainstream parenting road, I'm finding that we have less and less in common.

I need friends who I can be myself around. And friends who are as loving and kind to their children as I try to be to DS.

Anyone around here in Lancaster, PA or vacinity?


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
How embarrassing! I've only played Civ 1. I played on my PC at the time (now a long time mac girl







) and also whatever game system I had at the time....Nintendo? Can you tell it was ages ago?!?









I have played all the versions and have all the add ons as well, but I still like civ 1. My first ever home PC, which I got second hand from a friend (who turned out to be a total !£%$*^, but anyway) had this game already on it. I have been playing it ever since.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 
I had a good friend in the area, but now that she has adopted her brother's boys and gone down the mainstream parenting road, I'm finding that we have less and less in common.

I need friends who I can be myself around. And friends who are as loving and kind to their children as I try to be to DS.

I am totally with you on that one. I get so frustrated at people hitting their kids *in public*, and then even criticizing me for not doing so







. And then they still wonder why my DD is better behaved than theirs









Quote:


Originally Posted by *cjuniverse* 
Men are raised to be inconsiderate, disrespectful jerks. Women are raised to coddle them, circle the wagons around them no matter what, and to put up with their endless disrespect regardless of how much damage it does to us and our children.

So true!

Yay! I hope the multiple quote thing works!


----------



## acquiescer

*raises hand and then plays tiny violin*

I have a few friends from elementary I keep in touch with, and one close-ish friend from high school nearby, but we mainly talk on the phone or online...and a couple overseas friends I met during my stays in the U.K. I've never had many close friends other than Rob (shy and picky I guess). It'd be nice to have friends that have kids to commiserate with and hang out with but the energy needed for me to try to strike up conversations with other moms, hoping they like me and the boys- its too exhausting lol.


----------



## ernalala

Lol.

I recall a moment at my ILs, among the 'women' of the large extended family, that some where saying they prefer daughters over sons because sons were of no use for anything. I believe their focus was mainly on the household and caring for siblings/(elderly?)parents because that's their own lives' focus. And so they meant that boys were useless because they wouldn't 'do a thing' that was deemed as useful in those women's eyes.
Uhm I was so shocked, having two boys whom I dearly love. I replied that if they are raising their sons to behave that way (lol-or not behave at all , then that's what they'll get and they shouldn't complain. Of course, it's a whole society doing this 'job' of gender division, not only the mothers and other female relatives. I found it very unloving to prefer one gender over another reg.having children, and especially based on this crap, and my two little sons and other children were present when this comment was made







. According to me it will always be like that, if women (I mean not all, but many, and particular the ones who made this comment) continue to raise their sons to be/feel 'useless' at home/regarding family care, and make a strong distinction of what's so-called 'appropriate' for women, and for men, to do or not to do, starting from babyhood. I am a SAHM too (as are they), but with a very different perspective on things (they see it as women's destiny/task, and cultural conformity, I see it, in my personal life, as a conscious choice). I have my two boys, proud of them as individual beings, and I will in no way allow that they should grow up thinking there is strictly divided stuff like men's and womens things/jobs, the 'idea' a least won't come frome me, and I'll try my very best to put anything right, on gender issues (and other too of course) that they receive narrow minded perception of by society and/or peers. There's such a strong society pressure, even much more in one society than another, for what's gender-appropriate and what not. And I just do not care, well, in fact I do care, but the other way around . While I do believe that men and women are not biologically, physically or hormone-wise the same kind of beings (which is fact), and while imo there are definitely gender-specific elements, it's the gender-equality (and seeing/treating/educating/... each individual as human tout court) that counts, not stressing or creating or maintaining gender 'differences'.

I want to add too that gender segregation/pressure is enormous in most societies, on both women AND men. I am not a feminist (perfectly possible to be one, being a sahm with a wohhusband, btw). I am more like an equationist or whatever you could call it, lol. Yes, that is possible for a sahm with a wohhusband, too. (example cfr. equation idea: Why sending/obliging men to join the army/do their service? Why not both, or neither? - I would prefer the last to be a possibility, really regret to have to think it's most likely to be utopia forever and ever, but thats besides the point here)

Oh yeah, another one:
Usually, when I woman is asked to fill a questionnaire, and she is jobless (in the situation where she'd like to have work ah or oh, but is not at the moment), she is expected to fill 'housewife' regardless of that, or it is done so for her (aaarrrggghhh that last one totally freaks me out), but when a man in the same situation (at home, with, or without kids, no job) fills the same part out, it's called 'unemployed'...................................... .......... ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ???????????
This perception is also disregarding/inconsidering man who really are 'housemen' by cicrumstances or conscious choice, and not 'unemployed' because they decide to stay home with the kids.

...

I try/tried to raise my children (boys) non-gender specific. But see it is very impossible in this society (still?) and definitely where I now live. I do as much effort I can to fight for it in our family (easier living away from my ILs whom I love and respect, but they are very traditional ppl and that would totally get to me, and us). Also, it seems somewhat easier to raise girls more gender-neutral than boys, cfr. the way society looks at it. (example: my boys do not have short hair, never had only as newborns land the first months lolol. They may have if they'd like, but they just love it the way it is now. It is pretty uncommon around here for men to have hair over the ears let's not say looooooong. You have them, mainly leftist students in their twenties or artistic types and some rare exceptions. Not on local children. Really, I do dread the official schoolyears to come much, one reason for this is that they have gender specific uniforms (that are oldfashioned and make kids ugly :-() AND they will most likely NOT allow the longer hair on my boys either. While it seems perfectly ok for girls to have short hair, which it is, of course, but see, here you have an inequality where boys are affected! Long hair=seen as unmanly, and it basically just hasn't got ANTHİNG t do with being a boy or girl, but human, with hair to grow-or not and that must be one's own choice, not society's). I may add that in my coi long hair on boys is been extremely well imbedded in society, definitely on schoolage children, as is short hair on girls, and gender cross dressing to some minimal extent (more cfr. girls than boys though).

What sadenned me yesterday (and also made me laugh like crazy) was that yeterday my 5y old came to tell me with 'pride' that, at school, when they asked what his parents were doing, he replied I was the 'cleaning lady' aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggg ggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhh















Thus far, my efforts lolololol. Have some more 'work' to do here .
And I'm not even that much into cleaning. I hate it anyway, ıt's just sth that needs to be done once in a while, since I am home most of the time I'm just doing the major load. But I mostly leave it for better/nicer things to do hehe.
Anyone a better term than cleaning lady







.

A touch of humour makes us survive







.


----------



## Mimi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ernalala* 
Lol.

It seems somewhat easier to raise girls more gender-neutral than boys, cfr. the way society looks at it.


yes.very much so. my dh is against george ever dressing up as a princess, but emily can dress up as a pirate or builder & such no problem. we had this discussion many times, because i think, if my sweet babe ever wants to be a princess, why not.
same goes for colours, emily does not like pink,she wears brown,orange,red & green. she even got mistaken for a boy a week ago. it doesn't bother anyone, but when george-ezra is wearing an amber necklace i get accused of "turning him into a sissy" by greatgrandma. (don't get me wrong, i love great-grandma, & i do realize things were different when she was a mother (she will be 90 in may) , but, a 5 month old wearing an amber necklace really should not be a big deal.


----------



## expat-mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
How embarrassing! I've only played Civ 1. I played on my PC at the time (now a long time mac girl







) and also whatever game system I had at the time....Nintendo? Can you tell it was ages ago?!?









Where were you all back then?!?!?!? This is the first I'm ever hearing of other women playing video games. Are we just closeted?









Gee... maybe I AM old?

I wasn't into comp games in high school (I graduate in '98), probably (?) when Civ 1 was out. I got into them in uni mostly because of boyfriends







and dorm friends. But even then, I didn't know ANY gals who were into games a little like I was. I think it's way more common now for everyone to play. I don't really share the fact that I occasionally play computer/video games with people, I feel a little foolish about it, like I'm too old. I do kinda think it's a little silly for grown people to play video/comp games so much like so many do these days. I'm definitely a closet player







.
I guess I just outed myself.
Maybe we can play online together someday? I'll have to get a game that isn't pirated to do that...









Quote:


Originally Posted by *cjuniverse* 
Sigh, had to chime in on the men being 'hardwired' to be inconsiderate, disrespectful jerks thing.

So not true. Men are raised to be inconsiderate, disrespectful jerks. Women are raised to coddle them, circle the wagons around them no matter what, and to put up with their endless disrespect regardless of how much damage it does to us and our children.

True CJ, I agree. Too many men are raised to be that way, and society is far too accepting of it.
My DH was raised by a single mom whom he had to care for (and himself) from the time she got cancer when he was 9 yrs old. He's definitely not inconsiderate or disrespectful, especially toward women- he wasn't raised to be that way. He's often expressed shock at what kind of men's behaviour is accepted by women and society. Me, I just shrug, knowing that my kids won't be accepting of it and that I found a good man.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shane* 
expat-mama, I hope your new business goes well. I love that you have travelled so much. I always wanted to do that, but never met anyone who would go along with me. I did meet someone that was from Venezuela who was expat. But I didn't feel safe enough with him to travel with him though. How long have you been expat? Have you been everywhere you've wanted to go?

Thanks Shane. I'm nervous to even think about starting any kind of business...I've never done anything like that before.








I've been an expat since the day after I graduated university in 2002 and I guess for 10 years when I was kid while my family was living in the US and briefly South Africa. I still haven't been everywhere I wanted to go, but almost. There are still a number of places in South America and Africa I want to see. We were planning on taking the Transiberian from Beijing to Moscow this spring on the way back to Canada, but we aren't able to do that, so hopefully some other time.


----------



## smeisnotapirate

acquiescer, where in PA are you? You can PM me if you'd rather. I'm in Lancaster.


----------



## BaBaBa

Men hardwired to be inconsiderate jerks? Maybe so but not any more than some women are!









Men and women to have inherent differences in how we process information, communicate, emote and many other biological systems. That's true.

It's also true that 'gender' is culturally driven. As the dominant force in how children form ideas about the world, mothers have a tremendous power to shape and nurture gender values.

I love men and I embrace our differences. I don't want us to 'be' the same. Oh what a boring world that would be! But I do believe that neither sex should be discriminated against based solely on their sex.

I have faced the 'gender' issue raising DD. I have considered the language I use, the toys, clothing and opportunities she is presented with and have come to the conclusion that these things don't matter so much. Discouraging playing princess or wearing pink or encouraging her to play tough or with trucks is just misguided energy. I choose to focus on raising a confident, ethical human being. Confidence gives one the power to believe they can do anything and an ethical person will put justice and fairness ahead of any other factors when dealing with others and making decisions.
Ethical men have always been against mistreatment of women.

I am a feminist. Camille Paglia has had a profound influence on me. Sadly, 'mainstream' feminism has turned it's back on so many women. (Oh, the irony!) Religious women and sex industry workers immediately come to mind. (Maybe even SAHMs....?) Mainstream feminists have no tolerance for Christian women with pro life beliefs or women who make money using sex and that's a real shame that feminists would turn their backs on any women. So, it's no wonder any woman wouldn't want to call herself one when all we really want is a level playing field.

Expat, How exciting to be starting a business!







I made my first investment in the stock market today which I'm very excited about. It's a bit like gambling I suppose....







but it's fun and I think I'll learn a lot and hopefully make a little money when things turn around.
My DH was also raised by a single mom. He was raised by 3 women actually, his mom, grandma and aunt. They're Mennonite in fact so there were definite gender biases there (every culture has them) but he is the most respectful, ethical person I know and those values trump the gender expectations he may have been raised with.

MittensKittens: Way to go with the multi quote!


----------



## Shane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Shane, Nice to hear from you again







: How are things? Are you by any chance near Gwinnett County?

Thanks! I'm trying to get over a sinus infection. We had some awesome weather here last week. High 70's. So naturally, I spent as much time outside as I could. But my sinuses are making me pay for all the allergens I put myself though raking moldy leaves during the height of elm tree pollenation. I am very near Gwinnett County. Just a hop, skip and a jump away.

Quote:

Thanks Shane. I'm nervous to even think about starting any kind of business...I've never done anything like that before.
I've been an expat since the day after I graduated university in 2002 and I guess for 10 years when I was kid while my family was living in the US and briefly South Africa. I still haven't been everywhere I wanted to go, but almost. There are still a number of places in South America and Africa I want to see. We were planning on taking the Transiberian from Beijing to Moscow this spring on the way back to Canada, but we aren't able to do that, so hopefully some other time.
Well I hope you get to too. It sounds like a cool lifestyle. I know that I should have done it before having kids, 'cause now I'll never want to be so far from them or their kids, unless it's just a vacation.


----------



## Shane

On the subject of men and raising gender roles. I totally thought I would be like "Whatever!" when it came to this. My son sews, cooks, I let him dress in princess costumes and paint his nails. He's 3 almost 4. But I have started to draw a line and am having a hard time letting him wear his sisters dresses in public. He likes to wear them around the house sometimes. I don't care. Out in public I haven't let that happen. On painting the nails. It's been green and blue, but this week he started to use a pink and I talked him out of it. I didn't think it would be so hard, but I didn't really think he'd want to wear dresses and pink nail polish either. My daughter can do whatever she wants, except pee standing up. She keeps trying to do that and I'm not about to let that happen when I see it. It's a mess, let me tell you.


----------



## MittensKittens

The gender roles topic is really interesting. I hate admitting to any kind of bias - gender or otherwise - but the fact is that I have been influenced by these, along with everyone else. That starts with clothes, yes. While my daughter can and does wear anything she wants, I don't like the thought of my son wearing dresses and nail polish, quite honestly. Of course I am quite aware that this is hypocritical but that is where I am at for now. This does not extend to other areas, and I quite like the idea of my son choosing a profession that is traditionally considered a female one, for instance. Part of the reason is that I would like to protect my kids from feeling isolated and on the margins of society, unless that is a conscious choice on their part.

Expat - what is your take on the current "crisis" on the Korean peninsula? Do people feel there is really a threat of war, as Yonhap and various other agencies are reporting?

It is still cold and miserable in Belgrade. I didn't go out all day yesterday and I don't know what will happen today. I made some cloth dipes from recycled materials and they turned out pretty neat so I might continue that today.


----------



## expat-mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Expat - what is your take on the current "crisis" on the Korean peninsula? Do people feel there is really a threat of war, as Yonhap and various other agencies are reporting?

It is still cold and miserable in Belgrade. I didn't go out all day yesterday and I don't know what will happen today. I made some cloth dipes from recycled materials and they turned out pretty neat so I might continue that today.

Meh- no one here really thinks much about "the threat from the North". I mean obviously it's in the news here, with the rhetoric going back and forth between the two governments but in everyday life, I don't think people think much about it. There's always more talk about how much the price of rice has gone up, etc. As long as I've been here, the air-raid test sirens go off every month and everyone ignores them as per usual







no matter how much or little there is talk of war in the news.

How's the spring/summer in Belgrade? I imagine it's beautiful, but I have no idea. Have you traveled locally around there?


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## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 
Meh- no one here really thinks much about "the threat from the North". I mean obviously it's in the news here, with the rhetoric going back and forth between the two governments but in everyday life, I don't think people think much about it. There's always more talk about how much the price of rice has gone up, etc. As long as I've been here, the air-raid test sirens go off every month and everyone ignores them as per usual







no matter how much or little there is talk of war in the news.

How's the spring/summer in Belgrade? I imagine it's beautiful, but I have no idea. Have you traveled locally around there?

Well, I don't think there is a real threat either - more measure of desperation of a state that is rapidly falling apart. Mind you, those *can* cause real damage, even without a serious army in terms of technology.

Belgrade is the single most changeable place I have ever been to. Even in other parts of Serbia it is not like that. One day, it can be 18 degrees C, and nice and sunny, the next it can be -5 and snowing. Seriously. Right now there is still a lot of snow and it looks beautiful, but I don't like the cold much.


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## 106657

Morning Mamas. Wow things have been busy around here, this is my first chance to get on the computer in a while. Today is our last day of school before winter break, I am so glad. I love when my kids have time off of school. Yesterday we had a snow day, and we all hung out in our pj's watched movies, and ate in bed!

You all have been chatting up a storm here, there is a lot to chatch up on.

I love video games!! I haven't played much on the computer, since I only saw my first home computer when I was in my 20's, so I don't know the game you are talking about. But I play PS3, Nintendo, and PSP. I don't get to play much, but every once in a while we will get a weekend marathon going here!


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## 106657

The one computer game my kids have got me playing is the Sims. I can't wait for the Sims 3 to come out, we are drawing numbers to see who gets to play first!


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## Shane

Hey redveg! Nice to have you back! Sounds like you had some good bonding time with your kids.

I'm not a gamer. I can't stand to sit still that long. I just feel so guilty if I have the TV turned on for long at all. And it probably really stems from the fact that I was never allowed to play video games as a child. Even though we had an Atari and a Nintendo, but those were my step mom's and she would play by herself. Now that the kids are starting to learn stuff I started letting them get on some Preschooler homeschool websites recently. And that has gotten us off onto some fun websites. Like the Charlie and Lola website. It's easy to get sucked into trying to catch all the pink milk before it hits the ground. I'm starting to get hooked. But I don't see myself playing the big kid games you guys play anytime soon.


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## BaBaBa

Shane,
The reason I asked you about Gwinnett County was because I'm reading a book right now that takes place there in the 80's and 90's. It's funny that you mentioned the pollen because from the description in the book the allergy season sounds unbearable! The cars get completely covered in the stuff. And the summer heat and humidity sounds stink'n horrible too.
Do you know if there's a large Asian community there?
(I always like to compare fiction to fact







)


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## Shane

BaBaBa - Everything you are reading is correct. We don't get snow very often, but every spring from Mid march till sometime in May everything is covered in green dust. It looks like flourescent green snow, and you can watch it falling. Right now it's not that bad. Having allergy symptoms this early is new, to me. The first year I lived here in the spring was horrible. Every morning when I woke up my eyes would be swollen & gooped shut. I had to feel my way to the bathroom and put warm washcloths on my eyes till I could open them. My throat was so swollen I actually thought I was going to suffocate. The Dr.s tried every medication on the market, but nothing seemed to work. Over the years my body has grown used to it. Now I only get a runny nose during those months. Last year I started getting allergy sinus pressure around this time, so I guess my body's tolerance of allergens has changed. But the flowers are so worth it, to me. We have every flowering tree I can think of during the green dust days. And shrubs too. It seriously reminds me of a scene in a picture book of fairy tales when I look out from my porch at all the colors.

And the humidity is tremendous. I thought Tennessee was bad, but this is much worse. Very hard to breath. Can't take the kids to the playground after like 10am. Everything burns their little legs. And the thing about that that really irks me is this. We have tons of new playgrounds, but they pull up every single tree around it when they build it. There is no shade at all, no relief from the sun or heat. So we go to the older playground when it gets hot and we can't get out of the house before it's too late. We are advised to not go outside during certain hours because of smog. So we get outside around the time the sun comes up.

The Asian community in Gwinnett county has really seemed to boom over the past 10 years. Mind if I ask what you are reading?

By the way: Besides the smog I do love the heat. I'm an extreme weather lover. I love the cold snowy winters and the hot summers. If I ever won the lottery I would so buy a house up north just for the winter seasons.


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## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Morning Mamas. Wow things have been busy around here, this is my first chance to get on the computer in a while. Today is our last day of school before winter break, I am so glad. I love when my kids have time off of school. Yesterday we had a snow day, and we all hung out in our pj's watched movies, and ate in bed!

You all have been chatting up a storm here, there is a lot to chatch up on.

I love video games!! I haven't played much on the computer, since I only saw my first home computer when I was in my 20's, so I don't know the game you are talking about. But I play PS3, Nintendo, and PSP. I don't get to play much, but every once in a while we will get a weekend marathon going here!

Morning veg. Your snow day sounded fun!

Regarding computers: when I was in high school, we had a Commodore 64. My dad repaired computers for a living although he hated that job. I had a boyfriend at the time who was a bit of a computer geek. He was taking a computer science course on one of my off - periods... you know, class slot that is your prep, social, whatever your school calls it. So, I would go to his class with him and see what he was learning. Turns out, not much, but it was a laid back class and very few rules. He was really excited about this new program that was coming out called 'windows'.

I didn't have my own personal computer until my 'late' 20's and prior to that it had been that commodore 64 when I was in high school.


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## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
The one computer game my kids have got me playing is the Sims. I can't wait for the Sims 3 to come out, we are drawing numbers to see who gets to play first!

YAY!!! another simmer.


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## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shane* 
BaBaBa - Everything you are reading is correct. We don't get snow very often, but every spring from Mid march till sometime in May everything is covered in green dust. It looks like florescent green snow, and you can watch it falling. Right now it's not that bad. Having allergy symptoms this early is new, to me. The first year I lived here in the spring was horrible. Every morning when I woke up my eyes would be swollen & gooped shut. I had to feel my way to the bathroom and put warm washcloths on my eyes till I could open them. My throat was so swollen I actually thought I was going to suffocate.

And the humidity is tremendous. I thought Tennessee was bad, but this is much worse. Very hard to breath.

That sounds very familiar. That is how I felt living in the Willamette Valley in Oregon. My allergies and my asthma were terrible! Then my asthma suffered when I lived in Wisconsin and Missouri. I signed up for allergy/asthma testing (I got paid) at the UofW and found out my worst allergies are to cats, grass, and trees. Like I can get away from grass and tree pollen.







And I happen to love nature and the outdoors. Not so much when it makes me ill.


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## 106657

Hey all. How is everyone?


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## 106657

The sims rule!!


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## ernalala

On weather and seasons:

Where I live it can be freaking cold in winter, with quite some snow. And it's a hilly town here so snow is not practical at all, especially not when melting snow freezes to the ground again. This morning we took my son to the other end of town for a class. Where we live, it was raining a little, where we arrived, it was snowing heavily and hard to get through. Class appeared to be cancelled because noone else was able to reach the location. The North-East part of town is colder and has more, and more frequent snow, it's closer to the mountains.

Summers are dry and HOT, and mean sweatsweatsweat. I can't get used to this, really, I get a sun/heat-induced head ache really fast too. Here too, mid-Summer I need to take kids out to play before 11.00am to avoid the burning heat, and we can safely get out in the 'sun' again not earlier than 16.00, often 17-00pm. The trees at playgrounds, if present, are still young and always are planted AROUND the play structures







.
In my hometown there is a really lovely, large, adventurous, wooden construction play area built in and inbetween existing trees and I wish there would be one like that in this town too. Only, your child may easily get lost there if he/she is the kind that runs off in no time, I remember chasing my 2y old in the construction made for older kids, to the point of exhaustion, lol, there was just no way stopping him (and some parts were pretty dangerous for a 2yold since no proper fencing on the construction, he wouldn't scare, but I sometimes would lol).

And I really really do love autumn and spring so much, unfortunately these inbetween seasons, or at least their mild pleasant episodes are pretty short spanned around here.


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## MittensKittens

I braved the weather yesterday and slid all the way to the supermarket (5 minutes from where I live on foot). The snow turned into ice... a bit of a hazard to put it mildly. My had the baby in a sling, and my DD and I barely made it there







. I took a cab back. Some people in other parts of the country actually got stuck on motorways in their cars for more than 12 hours! It is a bit warmer today, fortunately.

What have you all got planned for the weekend?


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## BaBaBa

The book I'm reading is A Free Life by Ha Jin. You can read about it here: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/25/bo...ew/Kirn-t.html

I finished it today and I quite enjoyed it. My next book is Out Stealing Horses by Per Petterson.

I love my books! I have read so many good books in the past 2 years. I'm a bit of a snob though. I like to seek out award winners and notable authors. I probably missing a few gems. As much as I like the idea of a book club I could never be in one unless I chose the books. And I can't bring myself to use the library either. I covet my books and must possess them although I seldom reread them. I also figure out puny little country library won't have many of the books I'm interested in.

My favourite authors are Alice Munro, George Saunders and Jhumpa Lahiri.

I would hate to have allergies. I was allergic to cats and horses when I was a kid but I strangely out grew them ... if that's possible?

My first computer was the ZX81. Anyone remember that? Remember Basic?

10 Print 'Hello'
20 Go To 10
30 Run

See! I can still program!









We also had a Vic 20 but never the 64!

We had a big dump of snow which has squashed my dreams of an early spring. But, I did start some basil seeds inside this week... so there's hope.

DH is due home tomorrow







: The in laws are coming over to watch DD so I can go to the airport to pick him up. I'm planning to go a bit early as I love airports. Just hanging out, people watching there is endlessly interesting to me... just not if I'm the one traveling!


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## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
My first computer was the ZX81. Anyone remember that? Remember Basic?

10 Print 'Hello'
20 Go To 10
30 Run

See! I can still program!









We also had a Vic 20 but never the 64!











Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
The in laws are coming over to watch DD so I can go to the airport to pick him up. I'm planning to go a bit early as I love airports. Just hanging out, people watching there is endlessly interesting to me... just not if I'm the one traveling!


Airports are good for people watching. I haven't done that since Abigail was 2 months old and still in the sling.


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## ~kitnkaboodle~

Hey all I am around and alive. Hope things are well there.


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## nanna2009

A great way to meet other moms is to go to the park. You have things in common so they naturally gravitate to you. The bonus is that you all have kids so they get to make friends too.

Try it...at the very least, your kid will see and learn from your interaction with others.


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## 106657

Hey mamas. How was everyone's weekend? Things are busy around here. My guys have this week off, winter break, so I don't know how much I will be on. I love when my kids are off from school. Sleeping in, they crawl into my bed, we spend the morning chatting, it's great.


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## expat-mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 

I love my books! I have read so many good books in the past 2 years. I'm a bit of a snob though. I like to seek out award winners and notable authors. I probably missing a few gems. As much as I like the idea of a book club I could never be in one unless I chose the books. And I can't bring myself to use the library either. I covet my books and must possess them although I seldom reread them. I also figure out puny little country library won't have many of the books I'm interested in.

I would hate to have allergies. I was allergic to cats and horses when I was a kid but I strangely out grew them ... if that's possible?

DH is due home tomorrow







: The in laws are coming over to watch DD so I can go to the airport to pick him up. I'm planning to go a bit early as I love airports. Just hanging out, people watching there is endlessly interesting to me... just not if I'm the one traveling!

Book snob and hoarder here too. I interned at a publishing house (M&S) in Toronto and OMG free books and advanced copies and warehouse sales AND I got to meet some amazing authors too...it was heaven. I think in the time I was there I literally tripled my personal book inventory. Sniff- but I hated my job there or else I would have stayed for-evah! I have succeeded in turning DH into a book snob and hoarder too. I'm really into book design/typography as well so I collect older editions with beautiful covers or type or anything that looks pretty and end up reading them too.







:








- I HOPE it's possible to grow out of allergies...I'm allergic to seafood/shellfish and I LOVE shrimp...I always try a bit to see if my allergy is gone but nope...I get the itchy tongue and swollen lips right away.







:

YEY for your DH coming home! What was he doing away for so long? Did you say he was filming there?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 









Airports are good for people watching. I haven't done that since Abigail was 2 months old and still in the sling.

I LOVE airports too! Yah people watching in airports is fun- my husband and I have a whole repertoire of games we play. Guessing where people are going, where they are from. We've seen some pretty crazy stuff happen in airports over the years! I'll be in an airport this Thursday! Actually three airports when all is said and done. woohoo!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ernalala* 
And I really really do love autumn and spring so much, unfortunately these inbetween seasons, or at least their mild pleasant episodes are pretty short spanned around here.

It's like that here too with spring. I think spring lasted all of five minutes last year- then it was blazing hot and the humidity just came and knocked me on my ass. Autumn lasts a bit longer though.


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## BaBaBa

It's driving me nuts ... what is M & S?
Which authors did you meet?
I also turned DH into a book snob. I read much more than he does and we don't often read the same books, but when we do it's so nice to have someone to discuss them with. DH has recently discovered Taschen books and that's a problem! (At least for the bank account







)
Are you into collecting first editions?

I had a boyfriend once who had a crazy reaction to shellfish... crazy, as in he jumped out of the car while I was driving and other stuff. But maybe that wasn't an allergy ....









I am glad DH is finally home. It was a challenge getting him home from the airport but we're all safe and sound and snuggled down now. Unfortunately, I never got my people watching time in at the airport









He was filming some commercials down there.


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## MittensKittens

How are you all? Expat, did you arrive safely?


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## ~PurityLake~

I'm good. My mom just dropped by for a visit. She's a teacher, and she lives in another city, so a Thursday visit was quite unexpected. She had taken the day off for a couple appointments.


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## CTH3989

Hi ladies! May I join? My name is Chelci, I'm 19, I'm married to Anthony, we have 2 children named Elijah and Alexandria. We moved from GA 4 months ago and I only had 1 friend then that I never saw and now I live in HI and have no friends. Oh, and I'm a SAHM. I'm very lonely.


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## MittensKittens

Hi Chelci! Welcome!


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## hoppytoad

We moved to our current town last July. I only have one friend so far, and she's super nice but also very mainstream, and we've only ever hung out once. Our daughters are friends, so that's how I know her.

It seems like I'm always too shy to initiate any kind of actual meeting with people I may find online. Making friends has always been so tough for me! The internet makes it much easier for me to be open, and it's hard to take it beyond that into real life.

My other friends are my sisters and one other person. They all live really far away from me, though, so it's not like we can hang out.

So, yeah... I'm a lonely mama, too!


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## expat-mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
It's driving me nuts ... what is M & S?
Which authors did you meet?
I also turned DH into a book snob. I read much more than he does and we don't often read the same books, but when we do it's so nice to have someone to discuss them with. DH has recently discovered Taschen books and that's a problem! (At least for the bank account







)
Are you into collecting first editions?

M &S= McClelland & Stewart. they were bought by random house while i was working there, but they are one of the oldest (i think?) cdn publishers- they still go by m&S. they're amazing.... i (very briefly) met farley mowat, which is special because he's old and i heard people say he's kind of a recluse. also margaret atwood stopped by the office once and we said hello i didn't really get to speak with her though. i guess those are the two most famous authors i met/saw around. doug gibson was still kicking around the office...an amazing editor that's been with m&s for years and the kindest, cleverest, warmest soul. i loved being around the office and surrounded by books and great thinkers...but i didn't like the department i was working in.
OHHH TASCHEN!!! yum. I would love to collect first editions, i have a few- not really a collection. i'm excited to get finally get all our books back together- out of storage, my mom's place, DH's dad's basement. last time i saw them all together we had a huge wall of books...this time i think we'll have twice as many.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
How are you all? Expat, did you arrive safely?

safe and sound, a little worse for wear though. i don't know if it's just me, but those economy class seats seem to have less and less leg room each time i fly. my aching knees! and poor DH.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *CTH3989* 
Hi ladies! May I join? My name is Chelci, I'm 19, I'm married to Anthony, we have 2 children named Elijah and Alexandria. We moved from GA 4 months ago and I only had 1 friend then that I never saw and now I live in HI and have no friends. Oh, and I'm a SAHM. I'm very lonely.

Hi Chelci. Welcome! How do you like living in HI?

Well, back in Canada now... I really should change my user name...not an expat anymore...and not a mama like i thought i would be by now when i signed up. sigh. I'm not sure WHAT I am at this point.
my mom gave me all this stuff that she bought in Nov. when I told her that I was pregnant...before my first miscarriage. i didn't tell her about the second one.
i was really not ready to open up all sorts of maternity and baby stuff. but i have put on that face/mask/facade/shell/whatever it is that i wear around other people and family. and i need it especially now dealing with all that.

i wanted desperately to leave korea and get back in the real world...it's weird being out of "isolation" and thrown back into the thick of things. when we first got in at the airport i kept turning around thinking people were talking to me- usually when people are speaking english they are only talking to me! i had to remind myself that EVERYONE speaks english here. ack. must reboot. cultural readjustment is needed.

anyway...i am happy to be back though. mostly. i slept in THE MOST COMFORTABLE king-sized bed ever. heaven. and i realized how deprived Dh and I have been of simple comforts. ohhh i appreciate now!
anyway, glad to check in with everyone. hope all is well.


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## CTH3989

Thanks for the welcome ladies! HI is very nice.


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## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CTH3989* 
Hi ladies! May I join? My name is Chelci, I'm 19, I'm married to Anthony, we have 2 children named Elijah and Alexandria. We moved from GA 4 months ago and I only had 1 friend then that I never saw and now I live in HI and have no friends. Oh, and I'm a SAHM. I'm very lonely.

Welcome Chelci. I'm Katreena, 34, married to John (second husband), mother to Abigail and Sophia (see my sig for pics and details).

I was born in Wisconsin. My mom divorced my father when I was 2.5 years old, remarried when I was 3 years old and had my younger sister at the end of '77. My stepdad was in the Navy, so we lived in Texas for a year or so, Scotland for 3 years (the first place I attended school), Adak for 3 years.

When I was 8 years old, my stepdad legally adopted my older brother and I. We moved back to Wisconsin again for a summer, to Estacada, Oregon with parents and grandparents for a few months, then we lived in Hillsboro, Oregon for a year in a rented house.

Halfway through 6th grade (over winter break - we always seemed to move in the middle of a school year) we moved to Aloha, Oregon. I lived there from the age of 11 until a couple months after I turned 18 (and the law set me free!).

I moved down to southern California. After a few months, I moved back up to Portland, Oregon. In 1994, I moved to Wisconsin, (got married in 1995) spent a year (1996) in Missouri/Arkansas (I dont' recommend it), then returned to Madison, Wisconsin for quite some time. I was divorced by June of 2002.

In May of 2004, I moved to Alaska. I drove across the country in my new van with all my animals and few earthly possessions, since I'd sold most everything I owned in preparation for my move. Alaska is similar to Hawaii in that you are quite isolated from the rest of the United States. I have to cross another country to get to the rest of the states. I really miss those road trips my family and I went on every summer when I was a kid. I also miss being able to just get in the car and decide I'd like to go to (wherever) and visit (whoever) and be able to just go.


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## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 
I'm not sure WHAT I am at this point.

Know what you mean on that count







. If you get nostalgic about Korea, here's something for you -


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## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hoppytoad* 
We moved to our current town last July. I only have one friend so far, and she's super nice but also very mainstream, and we've only ever hung out once. Our daughters are friends, so that's how I know her.

It seems like I'm always too shy to initiate any kind of actual meeting with people I may find online. Making friends has always been so tough for me! The internet makes it much easier for me to be open, and it's hard to take it beyond that into real life.

My other friends are my sisters and one other person. They all live really far away from me, though, so it's not like we can hang out.

So, yeah... I'm a lonely mama, too!









I have a contact like that too. Our kids are friends. But she makes me feel weird every time we meet, and vice versa I guess. Her husband really hates me. I suspect he is scared his wife will get strange, empowered feminist ideas from me and run off







.


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## mazajo

Hello everybody! May I join?









I'm Krysti, I'm 35 and I've been married twice. My kids names and ages are in my siggy.

I've only pretty much had one friend, that I met when we were 12. I always thought we were so close it didn't really leave room for other friendships. But after so many years now, we just seem to finally be going in completely different directions. We both have teenagers and I got remarried and had another baby 3yrs ago. My friend moved from Ohio to Florida for about a year and since she's been back she's lost a ton of weight and really only ever wants to go to clubs anymore. So I don't really feel that much connection with her now







And I've lost touch with anybody else that I would have considered a friend at one time.

I've been a SAHM for the past few years, and DH and I only have one car that he drives to work, so I don't get out very much. It's just hard to meet people!


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## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 
Well, back in Canada now... I really should change my user name...not an expat anymore...and not a mama like i thought i would be by now when i signed up. sigh*. I'm not sure WHAT I am at this point.*


This reminds me of a line in a book I read to my girls at night. The book is called, 'My Many Colored Days', by Dr. Seuss.

"Then comes a mixed up day and WHAM.
I don't know who or what I am".


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## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mazajo* 

I've been a SAHM for the past few years, and DH and I only have one car that he drives to work, so I don't get out very much. It's just hard to meet people!

Hello there... I also have just the one car. I SAH and I hardly ever get out (recently we've been going to our UU fellowship Sunday mornings).


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## Mama2Rio

: i've been lurking here... for a while...

i just got off the phone with my father... he reminded me that i basically have "no friends"...







i;m really a social person, but i'm just really weird (i think) and i have a hard time getting close with people. i kind of "test" people before letting thme know how weird i really am, and most people are just not ready for me! i think i scare people away... My father says "why don't you join clubs" and says it's all my falt that i don't do "anything". i did have friends.. but where did they go? and why don't i have any now?

DH and i moved to az 3.5 yrs ago and made some friends, but none of them are parents... DD was born just last july, so it totally changed our lives. it just seems like once your preggo, every one goes away. i mean, there isn't much for me to do at a bar or a show while preggo and it's not fun watchibng every one else get drunk, ect. plus the exhustion from a normal day...

maybe it's because dh and i are in our mid-20s and we really don't know anyone our own age with kids... it seems like every one is either (way)older or in high school... we have a friend that will visit like once a month, but it's just hard to do anything with people who don't have kids.

DD is about old enough to go to a show... maybe out doors or something... but i worry about her ears... but i don't know if i'd really want to be around that with LO..?! i just always use to find myself in crazy situations, maybe it would be different now...

i've looked at story time and things like that at the library, but it's always durring a time when she wants to nap. i'm not about to bring my LO out while she's cranky and wants to sleep just so i can socialize. so what else is there to do?

just needed to rant/vent
so here i am, a friendless mama...


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## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mama2Rio* 
i just got off the phone with my father... he reminded me that i basically have "no friends"...







i;m really a social person, but i'm just really weird (i think) and i have a hard time getting close with people. i kind of "test" people before letting thme know how weird i really am, and most people are just not ready for me! i think i scare people away... My father says "why don't you join clubs" and says it's all my falt that i don't do "anything". i did have friends.. but where did they go? and why don't i have any now?

I'm sorry your dad is making such comments







:, that is not very helpful. What you say about testing people sounds a lot like how I feel too. Many people are too mainstream for me and I weird them out. I don't really like conflict and do not want to have to defend my choices to people whose choices I don't really agree with, KWIM? I do think that it is better to have little or no friends than forcibly socializing with people you have nothing in common with and are uncomfortable being around. If you scare certain people away then they are probably not worth being friends with anyway. Also, I don't really feel like going out and doing things I did before having kids like concerts and plays and stuff.

Oh, and... welcome


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## Mama2Rio

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
I'm sorry your dad is making such comments







:, that is not very helpful. What you say about testing people sounds a lot like how I feel too. Many people are too mainstream for me and I weird them out. I don't really like conflict and do not want to have to defend my choices to people whose choices I don't really agree with, KWIM? I do think that it is better to have little or no friends than forcibly socializing with people you have nothing in common with and are uncomfortable being around. If you scare certain people away then they are probably not worth being friends with anyway. Also, I don't really feel like going out and doing things I did before having kids like concerts and plays and stuff.

Oh, and... welcome










THANK YOU!!! i agree with you!


----------



## 106657

Hello all. I have been off the computer for an entire week. The kids had winter Break. Today was going to be their first day back to school, but we have a snow day. The week off with them was so nice. Just hanging out at home, watching movies in bed, hanging out in our pj's, it mskes me wish for summer break. I love it when my kids are home!

Welcome to all the new people. I am going to go back and try to catch up. I hope everyone is well.


----------



## 106657

Just a quick comment about books. I love to read also. I wouldn't say that I am a book snob though. I will read just about anything, except romance. I often have two or three books going at a time. I always keep a book in the car just incase I get stuck waiting somewhere. I spend more money at the book store than anywhere else.


----------



## expat-mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 
This reminds me of a line in a book I read to my girls at night. The book is called, 'My Many Colored Days', by Dr. Seuss.

"Then comes a mixed up day and WHAM.
I don't know who or what I am".

I wonder when my mixed up day was? i think i've had too many to count.








I'll have to find that seuss book. my husband loves dr seuss. he thinks he is a brilliant master of words- i agree, somewhat.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 
M &S= McClelland & Stewart.










You met some great writers! I was wondering lately if Farley Mowat had died... he really is a recluse. Like us! I saw Margaret Atwood at Holt Renfrew on Bloor St. Can you believe I've only read one of her books? It was the Robber Bride. I wasn't really taken with it but DH keeps encouraging me to read the Handmaid's Tale.

I would love to meet George Saunders. I can't get enough of him.

It's funny how jobs that seem so exciting and glamourous from the outside end up being a PITA, like everything else.









I'm glad you're home, safe and sound.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
I will read just about anything, except romance. I often have two or three books going at a time. I always keep a book in the car just incase I get stuck waiting somewhere. .

I've read a couple of Harlequins.







I'm addicted to Book Radio on Sirius and they actually played a Harlequin! Weird, because they play some really great audiobooks. Anyhow, it made me blush









I usually have 2 books on the go, an upstairs book and a downstairs book, so I never have to travel very far. Oh! and if I'm lucky, a New Yorker magazine if I can get my hands on one.

DH is working from home this week so I'm just working on pretending that he ISN'T here. Not easy.







:


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
I'm addicted to Book Radio on Sirius and they actually played a Harlequin! Weird, because they play some really great audiobooks. Anyhow, it made me blush










I think I read a few romances when I was a teen or young adult out of curiosity just to see what all the fuss was about.
They made me blush and I couldn't finish reading them. If I'd heard them read out loud on the radio, I'd be red! But then again, I'm the quintessential prude.


----------



## Shane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
The book I'm reading is A Free Life by Ha Jin. You can read about it here: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/25/bo...ew/Kirn-t.html

I finished it today and I quite enjoyed it. My next book is Out Stealing Horses by Per Petterson.

I love my books! I have read so many good books in the past 2 years. I'm a bit of a snob though. I like to seek out award winners and notable authors. I probably missing a few gems. As much as I like the idea of a book club I could never be in one unless I chose the books. And I can't bring myself to use the library either. I covet my books and must possess them although I seldom reread them. I also figure out puny little country library won't have many of the books I'm interested in.

My favourite authors are Alice Munro, George Saunders and Jhumpa Lahiri.

I would hate to have allergies. I was allergic to cats and horses when I was a kid but I strangely out grew them ... if that's possible?

My first computer was the ZX81. Anyone remember that? Remember Basic?

10 Print 'Hello'
20 Go To 10
30 Run

See! I can still program!









We also had a Vic 20 but never the 64!

We had a big dump of snow which has squashed my dreams of an early spring. But, I did start some basil seeds inside this week... so there's hope.

DH is due home tomorrow







: The in laws are coming over to watch DD so I can go to the airport to pick him up. I'm planning to go a bit early as I love airports. Just hanging out, people watching there is endlessly interesting to me... just not if I'm the one traveling!

I wish I could sit still long enough to read. I like to read. I just don't like to sit still. Which is why I don't chat on here as often as I would like to, too. I do keep books in my diaper bag for waiting areas, but often find it hard to read while watching the kiddos. I got hooked when I was bfing Ds, so when I had dd I thought I'd get to read so much again. Wrong! She wants all attention on her at all times. Now, she loves books so maybe we'll be book reading buddies when we're older.

I had the computer you're talking about. That was a blast. I totally forgot about that.

Congrats on dh coming home!


----------



## mouthcave

Hi everyone! Another new person, if you'll have me. My name is Martina and I'm a 23 (24 in a couple of weeks--weird! I feel much younger or maybe much older, haha) year old SAHM and I live in Georgia.
I have one friend but I haven't talked to her since November. I have a lot of trouble going through with phone calls. They make me so nervous! Oh, I guess I should say I deal with social anxiety and that is a big reason I do not have many friends (that and just being a bit of an introvert). Anyway, my friend is a lot like I was several years ago before I had my son which is awesome because we can relate in a lot of ways but not-so-awesome because we CAN'T relate in a lot of ways that have to do with my life now.
I'm feeling especially lonely today because my husband is about to go hang out with his friends, which he does on a weekly basis.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
I wasn't really taken with it but DH keeps encouraging me to read the Handmaid's Tale.

It's been a while since I read Handmaid's Tale, but I loved it! From what I have read, I just really like Margaret Atwood though. My mother had been trying to get me to read Handmaid's Tale since I could read pretty much, but I ignored it because I thought there was no way I'd like a book my mom liked, hehe.


----------



## Shane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CTH3989* 
Hi ladies! May I join? My name is Chelci, I'm 19, I'm married to Anthony, we have 2 children named Elijah and Alexandria. We moved from GA 4 months ago and I only had 1 friend then that I never saw and now I live in HI and have no friends. Oh, and I'm a SAHM. I'm very lonely.

Where did you live in Ga? I'm in Stone Mountain Village. I just sent an email out to our village email list to try to start a mom's/playgroup for SAHMs. I hope I get some responses. I have tried and tried to find one here and no luck. I'm finally starting to feel like my old social self again and am trying to start up my own group. So if you know any mommas where I live tell them to come on here and pm me.

Bet you're lovin' the weather there, huh? I've never been to HI, but the pictures make me drool. I used to be engaged to a guy who grew up there and he said they never wore shoes. If they had to go somewhere where shoes were required his mother always had to buy a pair, 'cause they didn't wear them otherwise.


----------



## Shane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mazajo* 
Hello everybody! May I join?









I've been a SAHM for the past few years, and DH and I only have one car that he drives to work, so I don't get out very much. It's just hard to meet people!

Hey Krysti!
I'm in the same boat right now with the car situation. And that's hard to get used to when you've been paying your own way and have had a car since you were 16.

Expat-mama - So glad you had a safe trip! I hope you love it, being back home. And I hope all of your dreams come true. Even after having the kids I always dreamed of I wake up some days and wonder who I am. It seems to me that, after having kids, my life is over and I'm just here for them now. Does that make sense?
It's hard to go from independant woman to SAHM/Wife. Even though that was one of my dreams. The main one, in fact. So weird.


----------



## Shane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mama2Rio* 







: i've been lurking here... for a while...

i just got off the phone with my father... he reminded me that i basically have "no friends"...







i;m really a social person, but i'm just really weird (i think) and i have a hard time getting close with people. i kind of "test" people before letting thme know how weird i really am, and most people are just not ready for me! i think i scare people away... My father says "why don't you join clubs" and says it's all my falt that i don't do "anything". i did have friends.. but where did they go? and why don't i have any now?


Mama2Rio - I think I'm weird too. But I must be too weird to really know it.







And the worst thing is when I meet people, I just lay it all right out there. So, they know up front that I'm weird and we can just get all of that out of the way. The thing is I think I scare people away. I try to remember to keep my mouth shut, but I'm just a very opinionated, very talkative person. So I guess my problem is I scare people away before we can become friends. I'm breaking out this summer. I joined a bible study group last year that was way across town and is ending this month. I'm looking for another one of those closer to my house. The one I went to last year was great 'cause all the mothers were my age and all the kids they had were the same age as my kids. Thankfully they didn't kick me out when they found out I'm a Quaker. At least that's what they told me I am. I don't really know, I'm not much on belonging to a church. But I have joined a church in an effort to make friends. Funny thing is, I'm the youngest person there by 20 years. But the people are so nice. And my kids have more grandparents than I could ever have imagined, since we don't live close to any actual grandparents.

For anybody looking for a moms group/playgroup-
I did some googling of "mom's groups" and "playgroups in Stone Mountain" last week and came across a ton of websites that link moms up. None of them had anything for my area though, but you might like to try that out if you are interested in finding something like that. I'm gonna try to start my own. The kids are potty trained, so I'm not feeling the anxiety of leaving the house like I did before. I don't know why potty training mattered. Maybe it's just finally been long enough that I'm more secure in my momability. IDK
www.meetup.com
www.cafemom.com
www.momsclub.org
www.mothersandmore.org
www.momsnetwork.com
are just a few that I came across. I'm just so sick of being lonely, and waiting for the day that we can move to be closer to my sisters. My husband told me last week that we will probably never be able to sell our house. (3 years ago he told me that he was going to remodel it in 3 months then sell it so we could move closer to my family.) Now he's telling me that since he never got permits to the all the additions to our house (which aren't done right and aren't finished) that we won't ever be able to afford all the fines we'll incur when the city finds out we started doing all this work without any permits or inspections or licensed workers. Ugh! I swear he wants me to hate him. The electricty doesn't even work in those additions and he doesn't know why or how to fix it. Opps! Rambling.


----------



## Shane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 
I think I read a few romances when I was a teen or young adult out of curiosity just to see what all the fuss was about.
They made me blush and I couldn't finish reading them. If I'd heard them read out loud on the radio, I'd be red! But then again, I'm the quintessential prude.

I can't read romance novels either. They make me blush too. I'm kinda weird in that I don't enjoy reading anything that isn't educational on some level. So biography's if they are an important part of history (like leaders of countries) are ok. Some self help books are ok. Mostly I just want to know what the "rules" are when I read the bible. But lately I'm totally diggin' on the book of Genesis, which I started last year







. I started "Little Women" 14 years ago, and the other day my daughter took my book mark out and I started to freak.







OMG what a weirdo! Like I'm ever going to finish reading that book. Some other books that I've started and like are Winston Churchill biography. An Abraham Lincoln biography written by his maid. I had checked that one out at the library and loved it, but can't remember the title so I doubt I'll ever finish reading that one. I have Marley and Me on the shelf so I may start that one soon. My mom is always giving me books, and I so want to read them one day. I don't know when that day will come.


----------



## Shane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mouthcave* 
Hi everyone! Another new person, if you'll have me. My name is Martina and I'm a 23 (24 in a couple of weeks--weird! I feel much younger or maybe much older, haha) year old SAHM and I live in Georgia.

Welcome! Where in Ga are you?
I used to date a guy that went to hang out with his friends every week. I hated that. Especially since I was one of those friends prior to us dating, then all of a sudden I wasn't welcome to hang out anymore. Anyway, dh isn't like that at all. And the first couple of years I was loving it. Now I feel like I've got a noose around my neck and everytime I want to hang out with a friend he pulls on it to keep me right next to him.
If you want a friend to hang out with when he's hanging with his friends, and you live close to Stone Mountain, pm me.

P.S. Can somebody tell me how to do that multi quote thang? Please?


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shane* 
I started "Little Women" 14 years ago, and the other day my daughter took my book mark out and I started to freak.







OMG what a weirdo! Like I'm ever going to finish reading that book.

You've had a book for 14 years? lol

Other than my pets, I've never had anything for that long. I'm so fickle.


----------



## ~PurityLake~

I I hated reading all through elementary school. Although I often was lost in schools (I attended 7 schools by the time I finished 6th grade). One school in Adak, Alaska was designed with the library in the center and the classrooms surounded the library. So I'd literally be lost all day so I'd lie on a beanbag in a corner of the library surrounded by 3 foot high bookshelves and just look at picture books. Not much actual reading, but I didn't know what else to do with myself since I didn't know where I was.

I had no interest in reading until my mom found horse books for me to read when I was 11. I read every horse book I could get my hands on.

Then I found Anne McCaffrey and read all the books from the Dragonriders of Pern series and throughout junior high and high school I really really really wanted my very own dragon just like those dragons. And a few firedragons (I think that's what the little ones were called). Nowhere else have I ever read about a dragon like those telepathic, velvety soft, rideable dragons Anne wrote about.

In Junior high, I got interested in astrology and birth charts and psychology and native american stories. I felt a connection with all things natural and started to hate the white man with a passion.

Then in high school I read a lot of Shakespeare and many other novels for my American Literature class (college level course). I even read Anna Karenina that year. I also read a lot of mystery/sci-fi such and Stephen King and another author (can't remember his name now, but I used to read everything he wrote as soon as it came out, I think one book was titled Intensity).

After moving to Alaska, my mom introduced me to the series of novels by Dana Stabenow and another author (name escapes me now). They both write about mystery solving. One revolves around a pilot and a detective in Alaska who are lovers and help solve crimes together. The other series is about a woman who is, I think, british, and is sort of like an Agatha Christie type woman. But she truly annoyed me, her personality, after reading about 4 books in the series. She just sounded more and more pathetic and obnoxious with each book I read that I no longer gave a damn what happened to her anymore.

Then I had my second daughter and I haven't read anything since then. My daughters won't leave books alone. They chewed everything they could and I went so long with all the books put away I never read for about 2 years. I still have a box of books up on a shelf somewhere, but had my mom take most of my books to the resale bookstore. So, I have credit at a store somewhere in Eagle River, I think, but eh. I'm too lazy to bother anymore.


----------



## Shane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 
You've had a book for 14 years? lol

Other than my pets, I've never had anything for that long. I'm so fickle.

Well, I am a pack rat. But this particular book was given to my mother by her mother, so I'm hoping to give it to my daughter. But the fact that I still had my place marked after reading it on and off over the years is amazing to even me.


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shane* 
P.S. Can somebody tell me how to do that multi quote thang? Please?

Someone explained this to me recently. You click on the paper thingy with the inverted commas and a plus. It then turns red. You can repeat this as often as you like. I still didn't figure out how to multi quote the same post though, if I am making sense.

BTW I'm going to meet up with someone from MDC today - in Belgrade, figure the chances of that. I am hoping it will be fun!


----------



## 106657

Morning mamas, today is the first day back to school, and it's a cold one. It's around 10 outside, but it's so windy I bet it's close to a negative number. It makes it so hard to get out of a toasty bed! Right now I am reading John Keats, his poems and some of his letters. I read poetry when I am between books. I am planning a trip to the book store this weekend, so I will stock up then.


----------



## 106657

MittensKittens, how exciting to be meeting with someoneyou met here on MDC. I hope you have a great time!


----------



## ernalala

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Someone explained this to me recently. You click on the paper thingy with the inverted commas and a plus. It then turns red. You can repeat this as often as you like. I still didn't figure out how to multi quote the same post though, if I am making sense.

Ah didn't know that let's try  I always did it manually for several quotes of one post, but never quoted multiple posts?

Quote:

BTW I'm going to meet up with someone from MDC today - in Belgrade, figure the chances of that. I am hoping it will be fun!
Good luck! What a chance! Didn't find anyone around here...


----------



## ernalala

I've been thinking, and one of the reasons why I am 'alone' here may be my not being proficient in the local language.







I am pretty good at it in social conversation, but still not (and never, I fear) enough, and it still doesn't come to me fluently. But still, I wonder that if I would have proficiency, it would really make that much difference? I guess it WOULD double my chances to properly talk to others and actually find someone with similar ideas, without the language barrier to take. Not to speak of a cultural barrier lol.
If I could just talk to ppl in my mother tongue, or even in English, my chances would be much higher to find someone to hang out with! (I have met few other foreign women about my age here, not many, but they do not necessarily have similar styles, are not sahms, and/or still live at the very other end of town.)
That's all pretty sad, isn't it? 

Also, I'm about the only mom around here (that I know of







) that's bf her 3y old (and was bf through pregnancy). BF is pretty common here and it is seen as normal/acceptable (but not always done) here by most to feed untill 18m-2y, but now on this one too I feel like an exception







.
While by an extended bf mailgroup I found other Belgian extbf moms (also pretty rare I think) with whom I could relate on other subjects too, that I can't meet up with because I do not live there anymore, grrrr.







:

On the other hand, must I not have moved here, I may have been less online and then, who knows, maybe I would have never found all this great info on bf, extbf, parenting, and not even MDC







!!!!!!


----------



## 106657

I am sure the language barrier has something to do with getting out there and meeting people, being able to hold a conversation with ease. I think, for me the biggest issue is being a sahm. I have always lived where english was the language, but that never seemed to open any doors to friendship for me. Being a sahm has been a huge part of what singles me out. Every place I have lived, I have been the only sahm. Where I live now I have met someone who is a sahm, but our children are different ages so, we do get together sometimes, it's not very often.


----------



## Shane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Someone explained this to me recently. You click on the paper thingy with the inverted commas and a plus. It then turns red. You can repeat this as often as you like. I still didn't figure out how to multi quote the same post though, if I am making sense.

BTW I'm going to meet up with someone from MDC today - in Belgrade, figure the chances of that. I am hoping it will be fun!

Ok, I give up. I clicked on that and it turned red, but nothing else happened. I know I can put


> and then copy and paste then put [/quote on the end (with a ]) on the end of the last "[/quote" and it'll look similar, but it doesn't have the name of the person I'm quoting.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you have fun on your outing. It's amazing how many of the women I've met on other sites are also on MDC and The Baby Wearer too.
> 
> Quote:
> 
> Morning mamas, today is the first day back to school, and it's a cold one. It's around 10 outside, but it's so windy I bet it's close to a negative number.
> I saw on the Today show that it was 12 in NYC and I am not jealous. WE GOT SNOW, day before yesterday!!!!! So for the past two days we've been outside playing in ice that looks like snow. Glorious snow!!! Not good for making a snowman though. But I collected a big bowl of the stuff when it was coming down and today we are making snow cream.
> 
> Quote:
> 
> I am sure the language barrier has something to do with getting out there and meeting people, being able to hold a conversation with ease. I think, for me the biggest issue is being a sahm.
> ITA. I told you guys that yesterday I sent out an email on my village's email list to start up a playgroup for SAHMs. The only responses I've gotten so far are from 2 working mothers and 1 person who's computer doens't use english, or any code that my computer will translate.
> 
> When dh saw that some working moms responded and said they knew some working moms and dads who would like to join he got all jealous and said he wasn't cool with any dads joining my playgroup. Well I wasn't really looking to start a weekend playgroup, but he just inspired me to do so. So SUCK IT Dh!


----------



## expat-mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mouthcave* 
I have one friend but I haven't talked to her since November. I have a lot of trouble going through with phone calls. They make me so nervous! Oh, I guess I should say I deal with social anxiety and that is a big reason I do not have many friends (that and just being a bit of an introvert).
I'm feeling especially lonely today because my husband is about to go hang out with his friends, which he does on a weekly basis.

It's been a while since I read Handmaid's Tale, but I loved it! From what I have read, I just really like Margaret Atwood though.

Hi and Welcome!








I think there are a few of us that can relate to the phone call anxiety and social anxiety. I live through email.
My husband is more social than me and goes out with friends often too. I sometimes feel like I'm holding him back sometimes by being such a antisocial homebody so I try to encourage him as much as I can to do stuff out of the home and to not feel like he has to hang out with me ALL the time. It's ok...I get a little jealous of how he makes friends so easily though.

Ohhhh- have you read Oryx and Crake??? It's one of my favourite books and by Margaret Atwood....she is an amazing author!


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shane* 
I got hooked when I was bfing Ds,

That's what got me back into reading. That, and also the fact that DD won't sleep unless I stay lying beside her. The night light has been my best friend. I feel my life has been much enriched since a got back into reading.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shane* 
Even after having the kids I always dreamed of I wake up some days and wonder who I am. It seems to me that, after having kids, my life is over and I'm just here for them now. Does that make sense?
It's hard to go from independant woman to SAHM/Wife. Even though that was one of my dreams. The main one, in fact. So weird.

I am going through the same thing.








Part of me feel like my life is over, that nothing exciting will ever happen to me again.
But, I think short sightedness is typical human nature. I am also very aware that I am a 'grass is always greener' type. In my head I know how lucky I am not to be affected by war, famine, poverty or any other horrible conditions most of the world faces daily. I thank the heavens for it. But, deep down, in my heart, I know I still feel 'entitled'. It must be the curse of living in prosperous times (and places). I just can't seem to help feeling bored or dissatisfied. But awareness is the first step towards change, so there's hope.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shane* 
They make me blush too. I'm kinda weird in that I don't enjoy reading anything that isn't educational on some level. So biography's if they are an important part of history (like leaders of countries) are ok. Some self help books are ok. Mostly I just want to know what the "rules" are when I read the bible. But lately I'm totally diggin' on the book of Genesis, which I started last year







. I started "Little Women" 14 years ago, and the other day my daughter took my book mark out and I started to freak.







OMG what a weirdo! Like I'm ever going to finish reading that book. Some other books that I've started and like are Winston Churchill biography. An Abraham Lincoln biography written by his maid. I had checked that one out at the library and loved it, but can't remember the title so I doubt I'll ever finish reading that one. I have Marley and Me on the shelf so I may start that one soon. My mom is always giving me books, and I so want to read them one day. I don't know when that day will come.

I have a Rudolph Nureyev biography on the shelf that I'm looking forward to reading. I don't know anything about ballet but he led an interesting life.

I'm also planning to read 'The Book of Psalms' by Robert Alter. It's an original translation from the Hebrew. It's fascinating to me because it illustrates what was lost and added by the King James interpretation, eg. there is no heaven or hell in Hebrew.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 

I had no interest in reading until my mom found horse books for me to read when I was 11. I read every horse book I could get my hands on.


I read all the Black Stallion books when I went through that phase.



Shane said:


> Ok, I give up. I clicked on that and it turned red, but nothing else happened. I know I can put
> 
> Quote:
> 
> and then copy and paste then put [/quote on the end (with a ]) on the end of the last "[/quote" and it'll look similar, but it doesn't have the name of the person I'm quoting.
> 
> Nothing will happen until you hit POST REPLY and then you'll see all the quotes you selected.
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *expat-mama*
> My husband is more social than me and goes out with friends often too.
> 
> We call those 'sausage parties' around here
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I made the best sweet potato salad for lunch today
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I've been cooking so many sweet potatoes lately it's time to quit them for a while. A long while... I'm just happy we ended the relationship on a happy note.


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
I still didn't figure out how to multi quote the same post though, if I am making sense.

There's no easy way to multi-quote within the same post that I'm aware of. If I do, I copy paste the first part that says [ quote = USER NAME ] (without the spaces) and at the end of the sentence or segment, you type in [ / quote ] (again no spaces).

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shane* 
Ok, I give up. I clicked on that and it turned red, but nothing else happened. !

After clicking on all the posts you want to quote, then you actually have to click on the button on the bottom left of the page that says 'post reply' or the final post you select you can click on the regular 'quote' button and it will display all the "multiquotes" you had previously selected and will lead you to the post screen.


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shane*
I got hooked when I was bfing Ds

_

_

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa*
That's what got me back into reading. That, and also the fact that DD won't sleep unless I stay lying beside her. The night light has been my best friend. I feel my life has been much enriched since a got back into reading.

You both make me jealous. I tried to read while nursing. Neither of my daughters would 'let' me, even when just a couple months old. They'd smack my book, pull down on the pages and rip pages or purposefully put their hand between the book and my eyes so I couldn't see the book. Then I'd move the book, or hold it up high, and they'd readjust and reach and reach for that book while attached to my nipple (OW!!!) and my arm would get tired trying to hold the book so high it just ended up so not being worth the effort and discomfort.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa*
I read all the Black Stallion books when I went through that phase.

Them too.


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ernalala* 
Ah didn't know that let's try  I always did it manually for several quotes of one post, but never quoted multiple posts?

Good luck! What a chance! Didn't find anyone around here...

Didn't find anyone in an ovesize chicken? What a surprise!









Anyway, I had fun, and our daughters just got on wonderfully! I think the husband thought I was weird but then, he wouldn't be wrong


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## ernalala

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 
[/I]You both make me jealous. I tried to read while nursing. .

I read LOTS while nursing (and cluster feeding lol) DS1.
Somehow it wasn't meant to happen while bf DS2. He would not 'allow' me to hold a book or look away from him most of the time







. I guess I must see this as a true sign of







. But therefore, I did f,nd the feedings moe long-lasting and, well, sometimes boring hehe. Another factor for not being able to rad while nursing DS' was of course then 2yold DS1 who needed all my (preferably undivided) attention. I HAVE been reading and singing TO my toddler son while feeding the baby though.

I mentioned my reading many books through nursing my firstborn to an acquaintance, and she said she mostly spent her long nursing sessions in front of TV-shows and it'd never crossed her mind to try reading. Maybe I gave her a clue for read-nursing her next baby .


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## 106657

morning,

Mittens: glad it was a fun time with your new friend.

This morning was tough around here, my DS woke up ready to rumble!! He didn't get much sleep because of the cats playing. I have a meeting this morning at 9, and I want to skip it, but I won't. I am so ready for Spring, I need to open up my windows. This time of the year is the hardest for me, instead of enjoying what's left of winter and snow I long for spring so much that I don't enjoy the beauty of the last few weeks of the winter. Boy I am odd!


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
morning,

Mittens: glad it was a fun time with your new friend.

This morning was tough around here, my DS woke up ready to rumble!! He didn't get much sleep because of the cats playing. I have a meeting this morning at 9, and I want to skip it, but I won't. I am so ready for Spring, I need to open up my windows. This time of the year is the hardest for me, instead of enjoying what's left of winter and snow I long for spring so much that I don't enjoy the beauty of the last few weeks of the winter. Boy I am odd!

Not odd at all - I pretty much have the same feeling. I can't wait for spring to start, and tend to feel depressed during the winter. Don't you love the smell of spring in your house? Yeah, perhaps I sound weird too now


----------



## ernalala

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Anyway, I had fun, and our daughters just got on wonderfully! I think the husband thought I was weird but then, he wouldn't be wrong









You got me curious. What do you think ppl find weird about you?


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ernalala* 
You got me curious. What do you think ppl find weird about you?









Well, I have never been a mainstream kind of person. I come from a pretty crunchy family, and while I felt left out as a kid, I now appreciate this and find myself repeating many of the things my mom did! I do things that other people find unacceptable - like most people here on MDC I guess. This provokes a lot of people, especially in the country I am in now, but actually pretty much everywhere, US included. Actually I am not trying to provoke anyone, but just living my life. I don't mean to really say I find *myself* weird, just that other people do - I just think I am pleasantly crazy







. Things I do that others find weird but are not limited to







- I am a single mom by choice, which men often experience as a threat to their masculinity, you know, the thought that some women actually * don't want* a husband. Ehm... I UP, UC, CD, AP etc etc, I choose to live in developing countries and am fascinated by politically unstable situations (which is why I chose journalism)... I'm vegetarian... the list goes on but I can't think of anything else right now. Does that satisfy your curiosity?


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## 106657

Hey MittensKittens, I don't think any of those things are odd. I have pretty much always been on the outside too. My parents were hippies when I was growning up, so while everyone I knew had parents who did the 9 to 5 thing, in nice haircuts and suits, my parents were wearing tye-dye, my father had tattoos, and a long beard, we always had people at our house, most of the time they were flying!! I have always been a vegetarian in a world full of meat eaters, my spiritual beliefs have always been based in nature, and a cause of tension among some. I live in the sticks, and besides my 2 DD's I have only met 1 other veggie. I never wear shoes, except in the snow. I think everyone is odd, that's what makes us great.


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Hey MittensKittens, I don't think any of those things are odd. I have pretty much always been on the outside too. My parents were hippies when I was growning up, so while everyone I knew had parents who did the 9 to 5 thing, in nice haircuts and suits, my parents were wearing tye-dye, my father had tattoos, and a long beard, we always had people at our house, most of the time they were flying!! I have always been a vegetarian in a world full of meat eaters, my spiritual beliefs have always been based in nature, and a cause of tension among some. I live in the sticks, and besides my 2 DD's I have only met 1 other veggie. I never wear shoes, except in the snow. I think everyone is odd, that's what makes us great.

Sounds like fun, and a lot like my family too! I remember some kids at school telling me I was eating chicken poo"







when I got to take a curry in my lunch box.

And yes, like you say everyone is odd, or rather - everyone is unique. Which is great!


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 

I am so ready for Spring, I need to open up my windows. This time of the year is the hardest for me, instead of enjoying what's left of winter and snow I long for spring so much that I don't enjoy the beauty of the last few weeks of the winter.

I hear ya! But don't they run maple syrup where you are. They've just started tapping the trees but it won't really get flowing for another week yet. Oh.... and looking forward the Maple Syrup festivals







That's a fine way to enjoy this time of year









Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
.. I'm vegetarian...

Do you find it a challenge to eat well in Serbia? I know some places don't get vegetarianism at all and I think of Eastern Europe as being very meat and potatoes. Are there good markets?

Oh, and I wanted to ask you if you've been to the National Musuem. The Sarajevo Haggadah is there. Do you know it? I read about it last year, or at least the story of it's rescue. It's a beautiful story which left me feeling really optimistic about humanity.

Today DD scattered about 2 pounds of dried beans all around the upstairs. The easiest thing do to would have been to vacuum it all up but the guilt of wasting the food was to much to bear so I cleaned it all up by hand. I figured you wash, pick and sort the beans before you use them anyhow. DD wasnt too much help. She thought putting them down my butt crack as a cleaned them up was funny. I wonder where she gets her sense of humour from? DH is really going to question 'organic' should he discover the toenail clippings, dust bunnies, pubic hairs and other detritus that got swept up with them.


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## BaBaBa

I found the story of the Sarajevo Haggadah online if anyone's interested

http://www.geraldinebrooks.com/docs/...%20website.pdf


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## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
I hear ya! But don't they run maple syrup where you are. They've just started tapping the trees but it won't really get flowing for another week yet. Oh.... and looking forward the Maple Syrup festivals







That's a fine way to enjoy this time of year









Today DD scattered about 2 pounds of dried beans all around the upstairs. The easiest thing do to would have been to vacuum it all up but the guilt of wasting the food was to much to bear so I cleaned it all up by hand. I figured you wash, pick and sort the beans before you use them anyhow. DD wasnt too much help. She thought putting them down my butt crack as a cleaned them up was funny. I wonder where she gets her sense of humour from? DH is really going to question 'organic' should he discover the toenail clippings, dust bunnies, pubic hairs and other detritus that got swept up with them.

















Sounds like you had a fun day!

Maple syrup tapping going on like crazy here. We have some trees tapped, but are not going to boil this year, too much going on.


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## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Do you find it a challenge to eat well in Serbia? I know some places don't get vegetarianism at all and I think of Eastern Europe as being very meat and potatoes. Are there good markets?

Oh, and I wanted to ask you if you've been to the National Musuem. The Sarajevo Haggadah is there. Do you know it? I read about it last year, or at least the story of it's rescue. It's a beautiful story which left me feeling really optimistic about humanity.

Today DD scattered about 2 pounds of dried beans all around the upstairs. The easiest thing do to would have been to vacuum it all up but the guilt of wasting the food was to much to bear so I cleaned it all up by hand. I figured you wash, pick and sort the beans before you use them anyhow. DD wasnt too much help. She thought putting them down my butt crack as a cleaned them up was funny. I wonder where she gets her sense of humour from? DH is really going to question 'organic' should he discover the toenail clippings, dust bunnies, pubic hairs and other detritus that got swept up with them.









OMG, that is so annoying! And well done for cleaning them all up, it must have taken you ages! I hope you won't get too many foreign objects in your meal. What do you use the beans for? I just discovered a great bean soup recipe if you are interested!

You are right about Serbia being all meat and potatoes BUT... most of them are Orthodox and they fast quite often, which means that there are a lot of vege things around. There is this wonderful restaurant that serves vega food in a running buffet, for really cheap, all because of the fast! There are many farmers markets around as well and they are cheap, but they are definitely not organic. You can get organic eggs though.








I hate to admit I have never set foot in the National Museum although I have been planning it. I have been to the Church museum and the museum of iconography, to the house of Vuk Karadzic who invented the Serbian alphabet (this is now a museum) and some other places. I should check out the National Museum though. I kind of cultivated a hate for museums after N Korea where you can go to the gift museum, where all gifts given to the president by foreign friends are on display, in order to give them to the people







and about a 100 more similar ones.

What have you all got planned today? I am going to try and fix my sewing machine


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## DaughterOfKali

I'm a little embarrassed to be here. But here I am anyway.


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## BaBaBa

RV, Do you tap and make your own syrup?

MK, The beans are for charros. I'm on a bit of a Mexican kick right now. I'm not a Doomer but I do tend to stockpile things, like dried beans, just because we live in the country and you never can tell... Do share your recipe! I love collecting recipes. What's it's origin?

I love cooking (or used to) but DD makes it really hard to enjoy







I have to be really selective about what I choose to make. It can't require too much attention or prep or dishes!

I'm waiting for some innovation in modern museums, I just don't know what. I just feel overwhelmed every time I go in one, especially art galleries. It's almost like there's too much greatness to take in during the few hours that you're there, a sort of sensory over load.

Can I ask you you manage to complete any task with two little ones? DD is 2 1/4 and I still find it a challenge to do many things. She still doesn't play independently and always has to be at my side and I can't even hear myself think because she's always chattering away. I feel like I've done something wrong to have such a needy child


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## expat-mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
She thought putting them down my butt crack as a cleaned them up was funny. I wonder where she gets her sense of humour from? DH is really going to question 'organic' should he discover the toenail clippings, dust bunnies, pubic hairs and other detritus that got swept up with them.
























laughup

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
I kind of cultivated a hate for museums after N Korea where you can go to the gift museum, where all gifts given to the president by foreign friends are on display, in order to give them to the people







and about a 100 more similar ones.

Ehhhhh...haven't been to that museum! But I know what you mean about cultivating a hate for museums. After years of travelling DH and I usually find the strangest non-tourist-attraction places the most interesting. When we went to Laos a few years ago we found one of the only escalators in Laos(I think the only one then, there might be more now) in this strange building in Vientiane and just watched as families were riding it up and taking the stairs down over and over like it was a ride. That was interesting. In Morocco we found lots of stuff like that that most "tourists" wouldn't go to see and it was our favourite place ever. There weren't too many museums there







.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DaughterOfKali* 
I'm a little embarrassed to be here. But here I am anyway.

Welcome! I find embarrassment one of the most useless emotions ever.


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## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DaughterOfKali* 
I'm a little embarrassed to be here. But here I am anyway.

Don't be embarrassed! We all like it here







Although the thread title is a bit of a downer I suppose it's accurate. Many of us are ok with our situations. Many post here in their darkest moments and then move on.

Welcome


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DaughterOfKali* 
I'm a little embarrassed to be here. But here I am anyway.

Hey DOK. How's the little one?


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## 106657

Hey BaBaBa, we have trees tapped and ready to go, but this year we have so much going on. We are getting ready to move to the land we bought last year, just waiting for the thaw. I have made syrup with friends, this was going to be our first year going it alone, but we will have to wait until next year.


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## DaughterOfKali

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Hey DOK. How's the little one?

I was all ready to send him to school today until I felt his forehead. So I took his temp and he still has a slight fever. He's still coughing but it isn't constant. He's a bit run down though. I had to take him to the bank (and then next door to cvs and a cheese shoppe. All next to each other) and he was wiped out.

Thanks for asking!
I work outside the home for a 2 or 3 hrs on Fridays so I really hope he's well enough to go to school. I NEED that money, however small it is.


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## 106657

DOK, I hope the little one feels better tomorrow.


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## DaughterOfKali

Sigh. Can't send him to school on Friday. He has a fever again tonight. So much for work.


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## 106657

DOK. Poor litle guy. I hope he feels better. Sorry about work!!


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## ernalala

sorry multiple post


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## ernalala

sorry multiple post


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## ernalala

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Can I ask you you manage to complete any task with two little ones? DD is 2 1/4 and I still find it a challenge to do many things. She still doesn't play independently and always has to be at my side and I can't even hear myself think because she's always chattering away. I feel like I've done something wrong to have such a needy child










I.. uhm... usually.. can't... because ... I... keep...being...interrupted...









Really, I thought that by the time DS2 would be 2 or at least 3, I would be able to sneak out to the loo (!!!) for a few minutes or so. And sometimes I'm lucky enough that he won't come after me within 5 mins of my disappearance. But often I'm not. He has a VERY curious personality and is pretty active and demanding, too.

I've got some tips for you:

- try not to mind not getting a task 'done' and be happy with whatever it is that you COULD achieve, and plan (or hope







) to finish at another time, day or even week







- really, a change of mindset has been of HUGE help to me wth two needy kids around; it helped me get rid of most of the 'I have to get this done'-stress and enjoy the moment more, especially the moments with DS2 who is so interested and likes to 'help'
- involve your child in the activity when he/she comes to 'annoy' you when you're busy, even if it means some more mess initially regarding 'getting it done', look at how happy it makes your child to play with the beans, dishes, peeling nuts, cutting sandwiches in 1000 parts, messing up and then 'cleaning' the floor, let him/her play with the clips for hanging laundry (what do you call those lol), whatever
-see your child following you everywhere as a compliment rather than an annoyance, she/he loves you, wants to be with you, wants to know what you are doing, wants to learn from you
-one day you'll wish for your kids to come and just be beside you, or 'help you' when you're doing sth around the house, so in the now and then, let them, and be their example of how you can have/take pleasure in even simple (household) tasks, or how you can MAKE it a somewhat pleasant task even if you did never really enjoy doing it (eg by singing or listening/dancing to music while doing so, or just randomly talking about anything to your child)
- try to split tasks in stages, not trying to accomplish all at once, eg: you want to achieve: cleaning all the windows; start with less ambitious goal: cleaning the living room windows; if you have more time, all additional windows done are a plus, if not, it's just for another day! No stress! You can do the same with almost ANY task in the house, really.

Good luck!

I know where you come from, it took me some while to be at peace with me never being 'able to accomplish'
Like, yesterday, I really planned to FINALLY have a big day of cleaning. Well, it didn't happen. Neighbour's kid came by to 'play' and the house was just total chaos, I couldn't even have a proper international phone conversation with my mom for her birthday :-(, without having a child hurt within few minutes







. So I reluctantly 'changed plans', and, after she left I did some other cleaning I hadn't planned for, to still give me the feeling that I actually accomplished some worthwile cleaning. Today I still didn't get to the big cleaning plan, lol, one day it'll get done for sure.


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## 106657

Well, getting ready for the weekend. Anyone have any plans? I think I will start getting ready for spring. Today is overcast and it is making me sleepy!!


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## ~PurityLake~

It snowed again today. Thick fluffy balls of snow. We have no yard, hence no garden. I think I'll stay inside.


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 

I love cooking (or used to) but DD makes it really hard to enjoy







I have to be really selective about what I choose to make. It can't require too much attention or prep or dishes!

Can I ask you you manage to complete any task with two little ones? DD is 2 1/4 and I still find it a challenge to do many things. She still doesn't play independently and always has to be at my side and I can't even hear myself think because she's always chattering away. I feel like I've done something wrong to have such a needy child









I've got two like that. But I don't think I've done anything wrong. I like having needy babes. It makes me feel important.

I have never loved cooking. It has just always been something I have to do in order to eat. I grew up with a vegetable garden, berry bushes and fruit trees in our yard. I'm accustomed to fresh food that actually has flavor to it. I now live in Alaska and have NEVER tasted food from the produce section in the grocery store or bought from the farmer's market that has any real flavor to it.







And on top of the low quality of the food here, it costs 3-4 times as much to buy it.







:


----------



## Shane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
morning,

Mittens: glad it was a fun time with your new friend.

This morning was tough around here, my DS woke up ready to rumble!! He didn't get much sleep because of the cats playing. I have a meeting this morning at 9, and I want to skip it, but I won't. I am so ready for Spring, I need to open up my windows. This time of the year is the hardest for me, instead of enjoying what's left of winter and snow I long for spring so much that I don't enjoy the beauty of the last few weeks of the winter. Boy I am odd!


Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Not odd at all - I pretty much have the same feeling. I can't wait for spring to start, and tend to feel depressed during the winter. Don't you love the smell of spring in your house? Yeah, perhaps I sound weird too now









Not weird at all. I think we've all got cabin fever.


----------



## Shane

Yay! The multiquote thing worked!







: Thank you!


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shane* 
Not weird at all. I think we've all got cabin fever.

Trailer fever, in my case. But I have no yard to enjoy and I don't like hanging out in public places, and winter here lasts at least 6-9 months of the year. blech.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shane* 
Yay! The multiquote thing worked!







: Thank you!


----------



## Shane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DaughterOfKali* 
Sigh. Can't send him to school on Friday. He has a fever again tonight. So much for work.









Awe. I'm sorry. I hope he gets better soon.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
RV, Do you tap and make your own syrup?

Can I ask you you manage to complete any task with two little ones? DD is 2 1/4 and I still find it a challenge to do many things. She still doesn't play independently and always has to be at my side and I can't even hear myself think because she's always chattering away. I feel like I've done something wrong to have such a needy child









I do a lot of letting them "help", but lately I'm on burn out. (As I try to type with a nearly 4 year old and a 2.5 year old fighting over my lap.) I've been letting them watch TV or play computer games while I try to sew something. And Dh and I have been arguing because he insists on coming on here and reading everything I write, and just all around spying on me. We had a huge fight about it this week. I can understand not wanting your dirty laundry aired out on the internet to a bunch of strangers, but if the man would give me one ounce of privacy I'd stop writing things knowing he's going to come on here and read them and then pretend he didn't. I've spent my whole week searching for Christian marriage counselors. I don't want to put my kids in day care, but this is not a good marriage. I dont know what's going to happen. I so would have picked to be a single mom by choice if my religious upbringing hadn't prevented me from it. I so want to be alone, like totally and completely alone, right now. I haven't been away from my kids for a single second in almost 3 weeks.







Stop Hanging On Me!!


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shane* 
I do a lot of letting them "help", but lately I'm on burn out. (As I try to type with a nearly 4 year old and a 2.5 year old fighting over my lap.) I've been letting them watch TV or play computer games while I try to sew something. And Dh and I have been arguing because he insists on coming on here and reading everything I write, and just all around spying on me. We had a huge fight about it this week. I can understand not wanting your dirty laundry aired out on the internet to a bunch of strangers, but if the man would give me one ounce of privacy I'd stop writing things knowing he's going to come on here and read them and then pretend he didn't. I've spent my whole week searching for Christian marriage counselors. I don't want to put my kids in day care, but this is not a good marriage. I dont know what's going to happen. I so would have picked to be a single mom by choice if my religious upbringing hadn't prevented me from it. I so want to be alone, like totally and completely alone, right now. I haven't been away from my kids for a single second in almost 3 weeks.







Stop Hanging On Me!!


----------



## faithsstuff

Hey there ladies! I'm sorry folks are feeling a little desperate for mom time. I have to admit that I was feeling guilty for feeling like I need a little while to feel that my body does indeed end with me and does not automatically extend to my 3 month old. It's good (in a strange, twisted way) to know that I'm not 'abnormal'. Well, today we are headed to the north side of the city to a consignment sale, excited about that. The weather's supposed to be in the 70's today so that's nice. Hubby was looking at houses to buy online the other night, I'm torn, I don't know If I like Atlanta, I know it's too soon to know, his job is dependable here, I moved here 7 mths preg witha high risk pregnancy and now with a 3 month old the highlight of my social calendar is going to City Hall this month for a work function for hubby. How did my life careen into the Twilight Zone?

I totally intended for this to be an upbeat, short post, guess I needed to get some things off my chest.

peace out y'all


----------



## expat-mama

Hi everyone. How is the weekend proceeding?
Dh and I are going a bit nuts staying at my mom's place and visiting family.

We don't survive well out of our element. We do okay when we have our own space/place to retreat to. But we're totally in another person's space right now and we're not used to it. We enjoy silence, books and listening to music and are really laid-back (but most people think we are serious). My mother is the opposite in so many ways, I wonder how I turned out the way I did- she is always talking, always watching tv, and always always wanting to interact. I know she has missed me and this is the longest I've been around for many many years, but it's hard. I'm so overloaded right now I kinda feel like running away. Dh is too- he is thinking about organizing a big trip somewhere for us at the end of the month.

Another thing is that I haven't really told her how deeply awful my miscarriage has been for me and that it's taken a toll on both me and DH. And she doesn't even know about the second one. I feel pressured into healing and being ready to move on...my mom wants to look at baby stuff all the time and talk about baby stuff.

It's all so hard...I miss being lonely







. I needed this vent. How do you all with social anxiety and introvert tendencies DEAL with family? I haven't had to do it in sooo long....


----------



## MittensKittens

Just checking in. I'm a bit tired to respond to all of you right now, but I'm still alive. It's been raining and my satellite connection has a tendency to disappear when that happens







:.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Hey BaBaBa, we have trees tapped and ready to go, but this year we have so much going on. We are getting ready to move to the land we bought last year, just waiting for the thaw. I have made syrup with friends, this was going to be our first year going it alone, but we will have to wait until next year.

Do you have an evaporator or how do you boil it down? We have a sugar bush but have never made it yet. A friend warned us not to try and do it in the kitchen because you get sticky syrup all over the walls and ceiling.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ernalala* 

I know where you come from, it took me some while to be at peace with me never being 'able to accopmlish'

Those were great tips, ernala. I came to the same realization about the time DD turned 2 but I regularly fall back in to my old frustrations. It was a bad week and I think a lot of that had to do with DH working from home. He works constantly, 14 hours a day regularly and the phone is always ringing or he's talking on it. He works in the kitchen or dining room so he's always close so it's really hard to pretend that he's not here and not available to help. But the expectations are high (self imposed). I want to be able to give him good meals. If it was just me and DD, I can be happy with just grazing all day.

It's funny how the solution to so many problems is to just change our attitude but it can be the hardest thing to do!!! I really need help in that department. I KNOW what the right approach is but a can't seem to LIVE it consistently.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shane* 
And Dh and I have been arguing because he insists on coming on here and reading everything I write, and just all around spying on me. We had a huge fight about it this week. I can understand not wanting your dirty laundry aired out on the internet to a bunch of strangers, but if the man would give me one ounce of privacy I'd stop writing things knowing he's going to come on here and read them and then pretend he didn't. I've spent my whole week searching for Christian marriage counselors. I don't want to put my kids in day care, but this is not a good marriage. I dont know what's going to happen. I so would have picked to be a single mom by choice if my religious upbringing hadn't prevented me from it. I so want to be alone, like totally and completely alone, right now. I haven't been away from my kids for a single second in almost 3 weeks.







Stop Hanging On Me!!










I have to have complete privacy when I'm on the computer. I just do. DH isn't snoopy but he has been known to tease







. I'm just an incredibly private person. I would love to keep a journal but I am deathly afraid someone would read it. When I was a teenager my mom read some personal stuff of mine. It was completely devastating to me and probably has a lot do with the complete and utter deterioration of any relationship we may have had.
I can soooooo relate to wanting a break!!! It was such a really really bad end of week I just wanted to run away. I get these fantasies in my head.....








Anyhow, I'm in a bit better place now. DH is gone for a week and I'm planning to take it really easy this week. DD has also started sleeping a bit better so I'm going to try and get some alone time when she goes to bed.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 
Dh and I are going a bit nuts staying at my mom's place and visiting family.

We don't survive well out of our element. We do okay when we have our own space/place to retreat to. But we're totally in another person's space right now and we're not used to it. We enjoy silence, books and listening to music and are really laid-back (but most people think we are serious). I'm so overloaded right now I kinda feel like running away. Dh is too- he is thinking about organizing a big trip somewhere for us at the end of the month.

Another thing is that I haven't really told her how deeply awful my miscarriage has been for me and that it's taken a toll on both me and DH. And she doesn't even know about the second one. I feel pressured into healing and being ready to move on...my mom wants to look at baby stuff all the time and talk about baby stuff.

It's all so hard...I miss being lonely







. I needed this vent. How do you all with social anxiety and introvert tendencies DEAL with family? I haven't had to do it in sooo long....











I feel your pain!

I can't stand staying in anyone else's place but my own. You never feel like you have any privacy. You always feel the pressure to be social and you can't walk around naked!

You TOTALLY need a road trip!

Are you settling here? Do you need to find an apartment or a house?

About the miscarriages .... I could never talk to my mom about that. You know she's only trying to help but it sounds like you two just down see eye to eye. You'll work through it in your own time in your own way. Oh, I always dreamed of having the sympathetic, understanding mother I always saw on TV.

I come from a family of introverts so it's never really a problem around them but DH's family are all extroverts. Honestly, it was a real problem early in the relationship. Especially with his Dad who is just relentless with probing questions. But his mom and step dad I 've gotten quite close with. Well, as close as I expect I will and they accept my 'quirks'







. I think his dad is just afraid of me now. I might have shut him down.

The thaw is is full swing. Oh, I know we'll have some more snow storms but everywhere I look I see signs of spring.

I finally finished my first knitting project, a scarf for DH (just in time for spring







) and he seems to genuinely like it!







:

Next project: decoupage!

I'm getting on a bit of a craft kick. I think I need some sort of creative outlet.


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## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 
How do you all with social anxiety and introvert tendencies DEAL with family? I haven't had to do it in sooo long....

Probably not very well. I try to maintain boundaries with my mom, but she doesn't normally respect them. She ignores most anything I tell her and is very self - involved. I had a really hard time living with my mom when I was 30. She drove me absolutely nuts! So I doubt I can really offer you any advice in your situation. Well, at least I can offer you my support and compassion.


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## ernalala

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shane* 
I haven't been away from my kids for a single second in almost 3 weeks.







Stop Hanging On Me!!

Know the feeling.

I often get my alone time while doing a puzle, or reading, a bath, watching a program I alone like , AND spending some time on the PC/online.

I consider it as my private time and just CANT have it that anyone is even slightly breathing in my neck, it totally sets me off. I get really snappy. yes: 'stop hanging on me!'.

Dh sometimes does not get it that my time online should be treated as such (same as reading book etc). He has the weirdly distorted idea that when I can't have him peeking over my shoulder that I'm doing sth illegal or inappropriate or sth, or that can't take care of myself online??? And yes, some of the posts I write are practically accesible by him, but it is just not meant for him to read. Let me compare to indeed, a diary, or a private conversation between best friends about some issues, etc. That doesn't mean it's gossip or anything concerning him. It's just, well, MY private thoughts. I think that he just can't get it that you would share sth online, with 'strangers', and not with him. For me, my groups etc. are like communities where I share and learn, to find likeminded ppl, find support, etc. Living in another country, not being able to communicate in my mothertongue, or English, much, about these topics, locally, mean you may find me online with such. And so many are not in this expat situation but still have the need for sharing in likeminded (online) comunities. That's part of today's communication. Really, it's just that simple. That's just my way. I need trust in what I'm doing without being obliged to share.
I've solved this disagreement by doing my onlinetime in daytime, and therefore do some household tasks in the evening once in a while.

Like that I get my online time, while he isn't bothered by it and neither am I by him.

I should take advantage of it now because soon kids will be older and do the same or demand their own pc time, lol.

I find it a big minus for MDC to keep all the forums public accesibility. Anyone can read here. Ppl, me included, tend to post some pretty personal stuff around here at times.

As in yr situation, with dh really spying on your online doings, behind your back, I might consider to either have my MDC username changed (I think that could be requested under special circumstances), or even consider starting a new MDC account with a new username and make sure that the forum can only be accessed under yr ID by not leaving it automatically open but requiring password entry any visit to MDC. It's not a solution to make yr dh know that it is really not done, nor does it give any other solutions, but at least it would allow you again more privacy cfr. posting here.


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## Shane

ernalala - Thank you.
I asked him if he'd rather me vent to women he knows IRL so that he can wonder every time he sees them what they know about him and what they think. He said no. But that he doesn't vent to anyone. I believe that. He doesn't have any friends and his family is large but all very distant from each other literally and emotionally. But saturday I did come to a heartfelt regret and apologise to him. There was a time when I had a blog page that I used to vent very personal things. I deleted it after my miscarriage. I couldn't go back there. It just hurt so much to see that last post about the MC. But saturday I promised to only bad mouth him to our counselor, with him present. And he suggested that we keep journals and he promised to never ever read mine again. Then I told him that essentially my journal is online and he agreed to respect my privacy here. So, time will tell. I have to admit he's gotten a million times better than he has been in the past. So there is hope. It does feel good to post something and then have someone else say, "I understand, here's what helped me....". I think women are just wired so differently. There is a fine line between gossip and venting for emotional support. I'm sure that sometimes people read what I've said and thought, "she sure is disrespectful to come on here and slam her dh like that." But our lives have gotten so much better since I stopped holding every thing in. Thanks, girls for letting me use this thread as therapy sometimes.


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## expat-mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 










I feel your pain!

I can't stand staying in anyone else's place but my own. You never feel like you have any privacy. You always feel the pressure to be social and you can't walk around naked!

You TOTALLY need a road trip!

Are you settling here? Do you need to find an apartment or a house?

About the miscarriages .... I could never talk to my mom about that. You know she's only trying to help but it sounds like you two just down see eye to eye. You'll work through it in your own time in your own way. Oh, I always dreamed of having the sympathetic, understanding mother I always saw on TV.

I come from a family of introverts so it's never really a problem around them but DH's family are all extroverts. Honestly, it was a real problem early in the relationship. Especially with his Dad who is just relentless with probing questions. But his mom and step dad I 've gotten quite close with. Well, as close as I expect I will and they accept my 'quirks'







. I think his dad is just afraid of me now. I might have shut him down.

Oh congrats on the scarf!
We were going to rent a place for a month or two but were sort of coerced out of it. I guess we've been gone for so long the family wanted us right underfoot so we couldn't get away.








We are staying with family until we find out which schools gave DH the most funding/fellowship for his PhD. Right now it's between UVIC and Western. I REALLY don't want to live in London...so my fingers are crossed for UVIC. That's what we've been hoping/planning for all this time- moving to BC. So we should find out within a few weeks....ugh. Actually there is no set date that we should find out by and it's driving me crazy. I feel like calling them and begging desperately to know- I don't think that would go over well, though. Anyway as soon as we find out, we'll take a few days to get everything in order, say our goodbyes and we're off!

Yeah, the not being able to walk around naked is driving me nuts. I never noticed how many things DH and I have settled into doing that don't jive with other people. And now other people's ways of doing things drive me crazy too. I can't stand my mother's cluttered kitchen...or her finches...or the way the TV is always on. I could make a list a mile long. Sometimes I wonder what she thinks of US!

I don't know what kind of trip we will end up taking...this cold weather is doing a job on us. I kind of expected it to be a bit more spring-like by now. I have no desire to travel around Canada at this point. And DH feels the same way- everyone will (once again) think we are crazy since we just got back, but we are thinking of going to either Venezuela or back to Morocco for 3 weeks or so in April. I don't know if it will happen...I'm worried about spending out savings in this economy. Especially since I am unemployed now- it feels weird not to have any money coming in, even though we are okay with a bunch of savings and we planned for this. I'm always really careful with money and savings so it's hard for me.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 
Probably not very well. I try to maintain boundaries with my mom, but she doesn't normally respect them. She ignores most anything I tell her and is very self - involved. I had a really hard time living with my mom when I was 30. She drove me absolutely nuts! So I doubt I can really offer you any advice in your situation. Well, at least I can offer you my support and compassion.

Thanks! Sounds familiar. I haven't really "lived" with my mom since I was 13. I actually think this is the longest we've been under the same roof since then- crazy no? I had to remind her the other day that I am almost 30 years old.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ernalala* 
Know the feeling.
Let me compare to indeed, a diary, or a private conversation between best friends about some issues, etc. That doesn't mean it's gossip or anything concerning him. It's just, well, MY private thoughts. I think that he just can't get it that you would share sth online, with 'strangers', and not with him. For me, my groups etc. are like communities where I share and learn, to find likeminded ppl, find support, etc. Living in another country, not being able to communicate in my mothertongue, or English, much, about these topics, locally, mean you may find me online with such. And so many are not in this expat situation but still have the need for sharing in likeminded (online) comunities. That's part of today's communication. Really, it's just that simple. That's just my way. I need trust in what I'm doing without being obliged to share.

I find it a big minus for MDC to keep all the forums public accesibility. Anyone can read here. Ppl, me included, tend to post some pretty personal stuff around here at times.


I totally agree with everything you are saying- this is kind of like a diary or a conversation between close friends. Our partners shouldn't dream of trying to invade this space if they understand that. DH doesn't try to read anything or snoop, but he does sometimes ask what I'm writing/talking about. And sometimes I tell him about something interesting that someone said on MDC.
I agree that it's weird for MDC to keep the forums readable by the public. If you search for a quote from your post in google, you can sometimes find it. I never give my name anywhere on MDC because it's very unique and anyone googling me could find me on here and read my whole freaking personal history. Ugh!


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## Shane

So let me just tell you a couple of awesome things!

1 - Why I love living in Atlanta this time of year. (Even though my voice isn't working 'cause the pollen count is climbing.) 4 days ago we were playing in the snow. Yesterday and the rest of this week, it's in the 70's and the birds are singing, and the flowers are blooming, and the cherry blossoms are blooming







: . We have a family of birds living in our carport, they come back every year. It's such a welcoming sight, and they got back friday.







: We also have a family that lives in the chimney, and they haven't moved back in yet, so we're still looking forward to hearing them soon.

2 - I organized our very first Stone Mountain Village Playgroup meeting and we met at the village playground yesterday. I so expected that no one would show up. We had 11 families show up. A few of which were SAHMs.







: Almost all the kids are the same age group as mine, so essentially they are going to go to school in the same grade. All of the parents kept telling me "Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for organizing this." So many times I heard, "We've been wanting to meet other parents with kids but don't know how." And to top it all off, we all seem to be just alike in that we are a little crunchy and a little mainstream. Very tolerant of differences in lifestyles and love a sense of community. Almost all of us are from different parts of the world and thought Stone Mountain would be a pit stop on our way to moving back to where we grew up, but feel left behind by economic circumstances that have thrown a stick in our spokes, so to speak.

Dh and I both just kept commenting on how much fun it was and how we are so glad I got this going. And he said he thinks it's going to be better for our marriage to make friends _together_ with people in our community. We are definitely looking for a sense of family and I think we have found it. Did I say







: yet?


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## Shane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 
Hi everyone. How is the weekend proceeding?
Dh and I are going a bit nuts staying at my mom's place and visiting family.

We don't survive well out of our element. We do okay when we have our own space/place to retreat to. But we're totally in another person's space right now and we're not used to it. We enjoy silence, books and listening to music and are really laid-back (but most people think we are serious). My mother is the opposite in so many ways, I wonder how I turned out the way I did- she is always talking, always watching tv, and always always wanting to interact. I know she has missed me and this is the longest I've been around for many many years, but it's hard. I'm so overloaded right now I kinda feel like running away. Dh is too- he is thinking about organizing a big trip somewhere for us at the end of the month.

Another thing is that I haven't really told her how deeply awful my miscarriage has been for me and that it's taken a toll on both me and DH. And she doesn't even know about the second one. I feel pressured into healing and being ready to move on...my mom wants to look at baby stuff all the time and talk about baby stuff.

It's all so hard...I miss being lonely







. I needed this vent. How do you all with social anxiety and introvert tendencies DEAL with family? I haven't had to do it in sooo long....

I so know what you are talking about. We get up before the sun comes up, and everyone else sleeps in. So when we visit family we are always awake alone for a few hours, and I like that, but I miss being able to not wear a bra etc.
When I want to be introverted I just play with all the kids in the family. Before I had kids I was always using my little sisters as a way to avoid my parents. Then my sisters started having kids before me, so I always played with my nephews in order to avoid talking to my parents. It has worked well, I get to bond with the people in my life while they are young, and I avoid arguments with my parents because they ask me questions that they really don't want to know the answers to. I've been lucky to have that work to my advantage. Now that I have kids I pretend that they need me to watch them like a hawk at all times. Don't know what I'm going to do when they don't. Who knows? My youngest sister is 15years old so I figure I've got plenty of nieces and nephews on the way to keep things going like this for a while longer, as I just found out my 19 year old sister is expecting.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Those were great tips, ernala. I came to the same realization about the time DD turned 2 but I regularly fall back in to my old frustrations. It was a bad week and I think a lot of that had to do with DH working from home. He works constantly, 14 hours a day regularly and the phone is always ringing or he's talking on it. He works in the kitchen or dining room so he's always close so it's really hard to pretend that he's not here and not available to help. But the expectations are high (self imposed). I want to be able to give him good meals. If it was just me and DD, I can be happy with just grazing all day.

It's funny how the solution to so many problems is to just change our attitude but it can be the hardest thing to do!!! I really need help in that department. I KNOW what the right approach is but a can't seem to LIVE it consistently.









I have to have complete privacy when I'm on the computer. I just do. DH isn't snoopy but he has been known to tease







. I'm just an incredibly private person. I would love to keep a journal but I am deathly afraid someone would read it. When I was a teenager my mom read some personal stuff of mine. It was completely devastating to me and probably has a lot do with the complete and utter deterioration of any relationship we may have had.
I can soooooo relate to wanting a break!!! It was such a really really bad end of week I just wanted to run away. I get these fantasies in my head.....








Anyhow, I'm in a bit better place now. DH is gone for a week and I'm planning to take it really easy this week. DD has also started sleeping a bit better so I'm going to try and get some alone time when she goes to bed.










I finally finished my first knitting project, a scarf for DH (just in time for spring







) and he seems to genuinely like it!







:

I'm getting on a bit of a craft kick. I think I need some sort of creative outlet.

I did come to a realization this weekend that I hadn't gotten a full night's rest in a whole week. Monday night, Dh had a few hurtful words for me that kept me up till 2 am. Tuesday night I woke him up at 2 am so we could hash it out, but it still bothered me all week. The rest of the week the kids have had colds and are getting up needing medicine, then peeing in the bed and needing linens changed etc. And I'm a complete mess if I don't get 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep. I could get 3 here and 3 there, but if it's not 4 of uninterrupted sleep then I'm feeling chemically imbalanced after 2 or 3 days of that.

I just finished making dd's mittens 2 weeks ago. I was so happy when it snowed last week. It was like justification. Especially since they won't fit her next year.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *faithsstuff* 
Hey there ladies! I'm sorry folks are feeling a little desperate for mom time. I have to admit that I was feeling guilty for feeling like I need a little while to feel that my body does indeed end with me and does not automatically extend to my 3 month old. It's good (in a strange, twisted way) to know that I'm not 'abnormal'. Well, today we are headed to the north side of the city to a consignment sale, excited about that. The weather's supposed to be in the 70's today so that's nice. Hubby was looking at houses to buy online the other night, I'm torn, I don't know If I like Atlanta, I know it's too soon to know, his job is dependable here, I moved here 7 mths preg witha high risk pregnancy and now with a 3 month old the highlight of my social calendar is going to City Hall this month for a work function for hubby. How did my life careen into the Twilight Zone?

I totally intended for this to be an upbeat, short post, guess I needed to get some things off my chest.

peace out y'all

Gosh, I'm so glad I'm not the only one. I hope you guys like it here in ATL. A lot of us are feeling left behind by the economic circumstances. I never expected to be so happy about something as simple as having health insurance again. The fact that dh finally has a dependable job is enough to buy me some peace of mind for a while, about living here longer than I had planned.


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## 106657

Hello all. Today was another snowday! It started snowing last night and it's still going. I was so ready for spring too. I even took off my glass storm door and replaced it with the screen one.


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## BaBaBa

Shane, YOU ROCK!!!!







:


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## 106657

Morning Mamas, well just another Tuesday morning around here. Kids are back to school, there is a fresh 6 inches of snow on the ground, and I have major cramps! Over the weekend I went to the book store and bought a new book. I got The Handmaid's Tale. I am going to start reading this afternoon.


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## ~PurityLake~

This morning, while I was serving breakfast, I asked Abigail to put the empty cereal box on the floor of the pantry next to the trash can, instead of inside the can because it's so big. So, as she closed the door, she said to her sister, "Move, little friend, don't get owies, little friend'.







She creates new phrases every day. She has never called her sister little friend before. Fia, Fifi, Puppy, Kitty, Sister, but never little friend.


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## expat-mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 
So, as she closed the door, she said to her sister, "Move, little friend, don't get owies, little friend'.









Sooooo very sweet!









Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Hello all. Today was another snowday! It started snowing last night and it's still going. I was so ready for spring too. I even took off my glass storm door and replaced it with the screen one.

UGH I knooooooooooow! I was completely horrified by the snow.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shane* 
So let me just tell you a couple of awesome things!

Shane that is soo great! I'm really happy for you!







:

AFM- went to the lab to get blood drawn today. I have forgotten how loong you have to wait for everything in Canada. Last week I waited for an hour for my doctor's appointment and today about 45 mins at the lab to have blood taken. Sheesh- free health care sure, but time is money. Well, it is for everyone who has a job anyway.
In the waiting room there was a woman and her husband sitting next to me and the woman was obviously distraught. Then a couple and a tiny baby came in a sat across from us. The woman next to me became visibly upset and after a while was shaking and crying. Her husband went up to the counter to get her health card and paper back and they left because she was so upset. I couldn't help but think that this woman had just gone through a miscarriage or was coming in for fertility tests just like me. I guess the baby made me a little sad too...more and more I just feel like a zombie though, going through miscarriages and ultrasounds and blood tests. Sometimes I forget that it's all for the purpose of having our baby at the end and I don't even think about all the baby things I used to look forward to. Today, I couldn't figure out if it was a good thing or a bad thing that seeing that baby didn't make me upset like that other woman. I just don't know what I'm feeling anymore or what I *should* be feeling. I'm kind of in a void.

This week my mother is working all day and DH is away until Friday. It's nice to be alone during the day at least. I wish I could get outside more, but it's so grim- I forgot how just walking around is gross in the winter. The sludge, slush, ice, mud. I got splashed by a bus the other day and was completely shocked. A few days ago it was warm and the snow was melting and all I could smell was dog "doo".


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## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ernalala* 
I find it a big minus for MDC to keep all the forums public accesibility. Anyone can read here. Ppl, me included, tend to post some pretty personal stuff around here at times.

Me too. I find myself saying a lot about myself here, which is fine, but I wouldn't want people I know top read all that.

Shane, I am so sorry your DH is violating your privacy. I would have my user name changed, if poss.


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## BaBaBa

I don't think all forums are publicly accessible. For example, I think you need to have a certain amount of posts before you have access to TAO. Good question for the Administrators though.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 

In the waiting room there was a woman and her husband sitting next to me and the woman was obviously distraught. Then a couple and a tiny baby came in a sat across from us. The woman next to me became visibly upset and after a while was shaking and crying. Her husband went up to the counter to get her health card and paper back and they left because she was so upset. I couldn't help but think that this woman had just gone through a miscarriage or was coming in for fertility tests just like me. I guess the baby made me a little sad too...more and more I just feel like a zombie though, going through miscarriages and ultrasounds and blood tests. Sometimes I forget that it's all for the purpose of having our baby at the end and I don't even think about all the baby things I used to look forward to. Today, I couldn't figure out if it was a good thing or a bad thing that seeing that baby didn't make me upset like that other woman. I just don't know what I'm feeling anymore or what I *should* be feeling. I'm kind of in a void.


What an uncomfortable experience. You actually seem very in touch with your feelings. I think you are acutely self aware and that can be a blessing and a curse. It's okay to question yourself. It's very therapeutic. Have you every thought about keeping a journal?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 

This week my mother is working all day and DH is away until Friday. It's nice to be alone during the day at least. I wish I could get outside more, but it's so grim- I forgot how just walking around is gross in the winter. The sludge, slush, ice, mud. I got splashed by a bus the other day and was completely shocked. A few days ago it was warm and the snow was melting and all I could smell was dog "doo".









sweeeeet









and...ugh...this is the worst time of the year. It stinks!


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## 106657

Morning mamas. I am so tired this morning. I was at a Town Hall Meeting last night until after 9:30 and didn't get to bed until after 11:00. Normally that is not a big deal, I stay up very late, but for some reason sitting there, listening to those long legal descriptions makes me sleepy! Last night and this morning it is so windy here. The kind of wind that just cuts to the bone.

I hope everyone has a good day.

expat..I remember those days of sitting in the Dr.'s office waiting, I feel for you.


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## ernalala

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
I don't think all forums are publicly accessible. For example, I think you need to have a certain amount of posts before you have access to TAO.

What's that?
I only got 369 posts right now maybe that's insufficient.

How do ppl do that, have 1000plus posts while having joined MDC around the same date, or even later, than me?


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## BaBaBa

TAO - Talk Amongst Ourselves

It's a general chit chat forum that hosts most any topic that isn't represented elsewhere. I don't know how many posts you need to view it. That would be a question for the Administrators. Do you have access to 'Questions and Suggestions'?

I also suspect that the Personal Growth, Grief and Loss and Trading Post aren't accessible to the general public. But that's just a guess.

It's easy to get your posts up on a chat thread like this or just saying 'Hi' to people in the 'Pleased to Meet You'. That is.... if you have the desire and the time









I saw a pair of Red winged yesterday and the Canada Geese are begining to gather which tells me spring is coming


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## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 

I have forgotten how loong you have to wait for everything in Canada. Last week I waited for an hour for my doctor's appointment and today about 45 mins at the lab to have blood taken. Sheesh- free health care sure, but time is money.


Well, let me tell you, when I was on military insurance here in the USA, I waited a heck of a lot longer than that for lab work and even when I had an appointment scheduled, they were always at least one hour behind, but I was still expected to show up 15 minutes earlier than my appointment just to have that much more wait time.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 
I wish I could get outside more, but it's so grim- I forgot how just walking around is gross in the winter. The sludge, slush, ice, mud. I got splashed by a bus the other day and was completely shocked. A few days ago it was warm and the snow was melting and all I could smell was dog "doo".









That is one of so very many reasons I don't like going outside for a walk the majority of the year here. Spring time is just so nasty. That smell is horrendous here. It smells like a combo of poop and rotten food and mold and it's so pervasive and no way of getting away from the stench. Spring hasn't sprung yet here. There are still snowdrifts and it's still hovering around freezing.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Last night and this morning it is so windy here. The kind of wind that just cuts to the bone.

And that is something I do _not_ miss about living in the flat midwest. Brrrrr.


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## 106657

Hello mamas. How was everyones day? I am glad tomorrow is Friday! I am looking forward to just hanging out with my kids. Things have been crazy for them at school, so they have been on edge. Anyone have any plans for the weekend? I think I am going to try to go to the movies? It's up in the air, my DH's grandmother is turning 105 so we are going to visit her, the kids, well all of us are excited. It's so nice to get together with her.


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## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 
Well, let me tell you, when I was on military insurance here in the USA, I waited a heck of a lot longer than that for lab work and even when I had an appointment scheduled, they were always at least one hour behind, but I was still expected to show up 15 minutes earlier than my appointment just to have that much more wait time.









That is shocking!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Hello mamas. How was everyones day? I am glad tomorrow is Friday! I am looking forward to just hanging out with my kids. Things have been crazy for them at school, so they have been on edge. Anyone have any plans for the weekend? I think I am going to try to go to the movies? It's up in the air, my DH's grandmother is turning 105 so we are going to visit her, the kids, well all of us are excited. It's so nice to get together with her.

Nothing exciting happening here.
Going to the movies sounds fun! I can't remember the last time I went.
105!!!! Wow! I can't imagining having seen all that she's seen over her life time. Even just the rising hem lines!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 

And that is something I do _not_ miss about living in the flat midwest. Brrrrr.

Winds here yesterday reached 100 km/hour.
I had to put DD in the back of the car while I fed the horses.


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## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
That is shocking!

It was at EAFB. At first I figured it was just an accident, or other patients had been late, pushing things back a bit. But throughout my pregnancy with Sophia, when it never improved, and in some cases actually got worse (8 months pregnant and had an appointment and it was delayed by 3 hours). By then I'd lost my niceness and was pissed and quite vocal about it.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Winds here yesterday reached 100 km/hour.
I had to put DD in the back of the car while I fed the horses.

...so she wouldn't blow away....







:


----------



## BaBaBa

I am so tired of the mainstream health care system and doctors. I have no interest now in going to see one unless I absolutely had to. I really resent how the general population views them as gods. Don't get me wrong, we desperately need them but our culture seems more and more interested (and invested) in sickness and cures than in health or prevention.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 

...so she wouldn't blow away....







:











It was more because the wind was so darn cold and I knew she'd never last. The wind always seems to blow the wrong direction when I need to pitch hay over the fence







I did have a fright though when I was done, let her out of the car and she ran down the lane. A big gust came just as she was crossing the culvert and it almost knocked her off her feet and into the icy water below.







:


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
A big gust came just as she was crossing the culvert and it almost knocked her off her feet and into the icy water below.







:

That's a scary thought.


----------



## BaBaBa

I know.
We have a pond and a creek with a lot of big muskrat holes around it that she could easily fall down. I'm worried about keeping her away from the water once the weather gets nicer.
Last fall, she was out of my sight for a few minutes and I found her wading into the pond. It was a quite the wake up call.


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Last fall, she was out of my sight for a few minutes and I found her wading into the pond. It was a quite the wake up call.

Wow, that sounds scary! Just shows what can happen in one second or so...

I'm feeling a bit







today. I've really missed having some friends around and I have been wondering what I am doing in a foreign country being unemployed







. I've seriously been thinking about starting a cloth diaper/ podaegi business, but if that doesn't work out I am going to have to move on somewhere else. Actually I hate the stress of moving and while I have considered staying with my mom for a while I don't really want that. Come to speak of which... how are you coping, expat?


----------



## mouthcave

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shane* 
Welcome! Where in Ga are you?
I used to date a guy that went to hang out with his friends every week. I hated that. Especially since I was one of those friends prior to us dating, then all of a sudden I wasn't welcome to hang out anymore. Anyway, dh isn't like that at all. And the first couple of years I was loving it. Now I feel like I've got a noose around my neck and everytime I want to hang out with a friend he pulls on it to keep me right next to him.
If you want a friend to hang out with when he's hanging with his friends, and you live close to Stone Mountain, pm me.

P.S. Can somebody tell me how to do that multi quote thang? Please?

Took me a while to get back to this post for some reason! OK, that reason is probably my sick and clingy two year old (just a cold).
I wish I lived close to Stone Mountain! I live south of Atlanta, so it'd be a bit of a drive. If we're ever planning on being up that way though, I'll PM ya and maybe something could work out. Feels like there is NOTHING on the southside! I would like to move but, you know, money and all that.


----------



## mouthcave

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 
Hi and Welcome!








I think there are a few of us that can relate to the phone call anxiety and social anxiety. I live through email.
My husband is more social than me and goes out with friends often too. I sometimes feel like I'm holding him back sometimes by being such a antisocial homebody so I try to encourage him as much as I can to do stuff out of the home and to not feel like he has to hang out with me ALL the time. It's ok...I get a little jealous of how he makes friends so easily though.

Ohhhh- have you read Oryx and Crake??? It's one of my favourite books and by Margaret Atwood....she is an amazing author!

I feel the same way about things with my husband. I definitely like that he goes out and has fun with other people. I think we'd both be at each other's throats if neither of us did something like that! My husband's friends are all from high school (or earlier), so I'm a bit jealous that he has this little group of best friends that will always be there for each other pretty much. It's something I always dreamed of having!
I haven't read that one but I DO plan on going to the library soon so I might just pick it up!


----------



## mouthcave

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shane* 
So let me just tell you a couple of awesome things!

All of that is so great! I love the weather here in GA for the most part. Of course I've lived here all my life, so I haven't experienced much else.
That meetup sounds amazing! Now I really wish I lived near Stone Mountain, haha. My husband and I have been talking about how we really need some mutual friends with children.
I've set a goal for myself to be more out there socially (which, I'll be honest, involves such WILD







things like taking my son to storytime and maybe, just maybe, talking to another mother at the park), but I keep coming up with really good excuses for not leaving the house.
Wow, it's already almost time for my husband to be home! What an unproductive day! Oops.


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shane* 
P.S. Can somebody tell me how to do that multi quote thang? Please?

On the bottom right hand of the posts you want to quote, there is a little icon with " . You click on that for the posts you want to quote (it turns red when you click it). Then when you've selected all the posts you want to quote, you click on post reply.

Each of the quotes you chose will show up in your message box and you can insert your own words between them.

[ quote = user name ] begins a quote (minus the spaces)
[ / quote ] ends a quote (minus those spaces)


----------



## expat-mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Actually I hate the stress of moving and while I have considered staying with my mom for a while I don't really want that. Come to speak of which... how are you coping, expat?

Thanks for asking. I'm doing alright.







Lately I've been feeling guilty about being so antisocial and a bit awkward here. My sister and her boyfriend are up to visit this weekend and they fit in much better than DH and I do with my mom and the family. We are odd ducks and it's a bit painful to see how much better they can relate and have fun than we can. Oh well. I've also been trying not be so touchy and annoyed. I've noticed my patience is thin with my mom, just because I'm not used to dealing with other people and not having my own space on such a consistent basis and I feel bad about that. I need to be nicer and try to appreciate my time here and the fact that I am in HER space and she has no doubt made a lot of concessions I guess. It's hard.
DH and I have decided to take a looong (6-8 week) trip in Central America starting in mid-April. We had been debating whether it was a good idea to do such a thing in this economy and because we have a few uncertainties ahead of us but we decided to do it! We really need some time to relax and reconnect and not think about work, getting pregnant, or the other stressors that have really been dragging us down the past 6 months or so. And we always do that so well on an epic trip. So we'll be traveling around Guatemala, El Salvador, Honduras and Nicaragua. We are pretty excited.







: I'm already brushing up on my espanol and doing some extra stair master minutes at the gym to prepare my body for carrying a backpack for months and going on treks and hikes.
Then after that, we'll be moving to...wherever we are moving! We haven't yet found out about DH's PhD funding. It's nice to have this trip to plan for and think about so I'm not obsessing about that.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
I know.
We have a pond and a creek with a lot of big muskrat holes around it that she could easily fall down. I'm worried about keeping her away from the water once the weather gets nicer.
Last fall, she was out of my sight for a few minutes and I found her wading into the pond. It was a quite the wake up call.

Oh my! That's a great reason to take the youngin for swimming lessons as soon as she's big enough I guess. What fun for her when she is older, though.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
I am so tired of the mainstream health care system and doctors. I have no interest now in going to see one unless I absolutely had to. I really resent how the general population views them as gods. Don't get me wrong, we desperately need them but our culture seems more and more interested (and invested) in sickness and cures than in health or prevention.

I totally agree. DH and I usually don't see doctors unless we have broken bones or some such thing that can't be remedied by rest, good food, and home/natural solutions. All the doctors visits with the pregnancies have really thrown us for a loop and we find it all most unpleasant as we had planned to stay away from the medicalization of pregnancy and birth as much as possible.


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ernalala* 
What's that?
I only got 369 posts right now maybe that's insufficient.

How do ppl do that, have 1000plus posts while having joined MDC around the same date, or even later, than me?

random meaningless posts, like this one of mine.


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

Hey all I just wanted to let you all know that I am alive and well and here and around. i come and read every so often but don't have much time to post.


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~kitnkaboodle~* 
Hey all I just wanted to let you all know that I am alive and well and here and around. i come and read every so often but don't have much time to post.


Hello.

Another ~~~ person like me. Mine are to symbolize water, since I'm a water sign, and my middle name means lake.


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

I was another name on here actually I can't exactly say what it is though because I am being stocked lol. But I read why you chose your name. I chose mine to be unique


----------



## MittensKittens

Hi kinkaboodle, hope you're ok. I' remove the pp actually to be sure.


----------



## 106657

Morning mamas. Just popping in to see how everyone is. The sun is out and I am going to sit on the porch, enjoy it while I can. This weekend was busy, went to see DH's Grandma, she's in the hospital. I felt so bad for her, she just wants to be at home. Her B-Day is on Thursday, I thought she was going to be 105, but she's only going to be 103.

I hope everyone had a great weekend. Tomorrow is going to rain, so I will pop on to chat. Have a good day!


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Only>?


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 
Only>?










Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 
random meaningless posts, like this one of mine.



















You crack me up!









Haven't been spending as much time on MDC lately which is probably a good thing









I'm keeping busy with little projects, enjoying more time outside and DH has been putting DD to sleep at night which is a welcome change to the routine. I actually have a few hours in the evening that I can enjoy now.

XP, Your planned trip sounds amazing!!! You just never stay in one place for very long do you?









MK,







I'm sorry to hear you're feeling down. I hope your feeling a bit better now. Whenever I feel that way, I try to remind myself that happiness begins from inside and not from what is or isn't around me. I can't say it helps







but I try to take it to heart anyhow.


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 









You crack me up!









Thanks, you just made my day.







:

I don't know why I'm so emotionally invested in humoring other people. But it sure makes me happy to make other people laugh.


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Haven't been spending as much time on MDC lately which is probably a good thing









I'm keeping busy with little projects, enjoying more time outside and DH has been putting DD to sleep at night which is a welcome change to the routine. I actually have a few hours in the evening that I can enjoy now.

MK,







I'm sorry to hear you're feeling down. I hope your feeling a bit better now. Whenever I feel that way, I try to remind myself that happiness begins from inside and not from what is or isn't around me. I can't say it helps







but I try to take it to heart anyhow.

I know what you mean.







I have also been piling up the stupid, meaningless posts lately







. Whenever I get bored, I come here. My internet connection always disappears whenever the weather is really bad, and that is the only time when the tv gets used. Internet is my main entertainment







.

I got a parcel from my aunt (lives in Holland) yesterday with those special dutch candies. We were just getting into them, DD loves them too, when I broke my tooth on one of them! The tooth was basically all filling and no tooth, but now there is a crack to the root... which means it has to be pulled














. I wanted some time to say goodbye to the tooth (stupid right? now I need two trips to the dentist) and it is coming out today. I am going to have a bridge put in in a couple weeks.


----------



## mommariffic

I think I've found my home ;]

Most of my friends are child free. I'm a younger mom [by today's standards at least] at 24, so the few friends I have are busy with lives that aren't scheduled around board books and finger painting. Although some of them hang with me and the kid, I know that my child-rearing ways are kind of a turn off. One of my good friends is someone I "hired" to run errands with me, since I don't drive, so we see each other a few times a week, but that's it.

As far as daily/weekly mom friends, I'm at a loss. Whenever I see a neat mom I literally drool at the thought of play dates and tea parties. JUST the other day in the bookstore a woman picked up "Mothering" and I got all shy and told her it was my favorite magazine.

I swear, I was two steps from begging her to be friend.

So, my daughter and I are desperate, yes. Email friends, real life, I'll take anything. Motherhood can be LONELY, huh?


----------



## Mama2Rio

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~kitnkaboodle~* 
I was another name on here actually I can't exactly say what it is though because I am being stocked lol. But I read why you chose your name. I chose mine to be unique

maybe me?! my LO is RIO... river







:


----------



## Mama2Rio

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommariffic* 
I think I've found my home ;]

Most of my friends are child free. I'm a younger mom [by today's standards at least] at 24, so the few friends I have are busy with lives that aren't scheduled around board books and finger painting. Although some of them hang with me and the kid, I know that my child-rearing ways are kind of a turn off. One of my good friends is someone I "hired" to run errands with me, since I don't drive, so we see each other a few times a week, but that's it.

As far as daily/weekly mom friends, I'm at a loss. Whenever I see a neat mom I literally drool at the thought of play dates and tea parties. JUST the other day in the bookstore a woman picked up "Mothering" and I got all shy and told her it was my favorite magazine.

i know where your coming from. i'm 25... i have a neighbor w/ a babe, but i have a hard time talking to her... it's like talking to a five yo... i cant get into it.... ugh. i would love to have some one around who parents like me and has half a brain... okay i have one mommie friend but she live 2 hrs away... it's really hard to get together b/c were both 1 car familiies!


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mama2Rio* 
i know where your coming from. i'm 25... i have a neighbor w/ a babe, but i have a hard time talking to her... it's like talking to a five yo... i cant get into it.... ugh. i would love to have some one around who parents like me and has half a brain... okay i have one mommie friend but she live 2 hrs away... it's really hard to get together b/c were both 1 car familiies!

Me too. I have a mama "friend", but while she does have a brain







we are just too different to be able to hold a decent conversation. And she is completely under her husband's thumb. I am too young to have been part of the original feminist movement







but perhaps Serbia is now ready for burn the bra and all that







. I get both angry and sad about the way in which women are generally treated. Of course (I have followed too many discussions on MDC to know I shouldn't leave this out







) I think choice also includes the choice to be a SAHM, and besides I am also pro life. But the total disrespect for women has been eating away at me recently, and it is one of the reasons I find it hard to relate to many women over here. (Because they seem to think this normal, and how things should be)

I went to the dentist yesterday and my tooth has come out. I was a bit feverish last night and still don't feel right, but it is better the tooth is out.

I am also getting ready to start a little babywearing and cloth diaper business. I have already have three orders for podaegis. My dentist is actually pregnant and I was like the first to find out because I showed up way too early and she had just done the test! I am hoping she will want lots of things sewn for her!

Mommarific, welcome! I don't think there is anything wrong with meeting other moms on the street and getting to know them, if that works out. Sometimes a magazine can be a great conversation starter!


----------



## ernalala

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Mommarific, welcome! I don't think there is anything wrong with meeting other moms on the street and getting to know them, if that works out. Sometimes a magazine can be a great conversation starter!

If only there would be a place where they would be sellig MM I might go and stalk the women picking it up





















lol. No, I guess I'm too shy for that anyway. I'm usually not the one initiating a conversation, pretty introverted. I sometimes wonder how on earth I managed to actually make friends and get married and all, lol.
The sad thing is that when conversation starts the one single thing that keeps being adressed is me 'probably' being a foreigner, where from, how long here, it's like curiosity for 'what', not 'who' I am







. I'm not usually the one asking many questions to others, so it feels like being interrogated over and over again. I figure that most friendships I have, started by randomly meeting and unexpectedly having a good time together, not by this kind of 'social conversation' . I'm also the kind that would like to skip that part, and just not knowing how to make that happen  Or else, I do get along with some wohm or wohw (whom I very rarely see) at the other end of town, so not much a match to be able to get together; what's liked about me is usually my skipping the 'obligatory/social conversation' part and just naturally feeling comfortable around one another.
Whenever I had pleasant random meetings/contacts with others they just live way too far (other town most likely).
My two kids keep me a bit 'close to home' these years, but oth I dread for the time 'alone' there will be once Ds2 will also start morning pre-school. I just feel too empty-handed when they're not around! Sometimes I wish so much to have alone time (oh really, I do, especially with alll the sibling rivalry going on), but then when I'm out and about without my LOs I miss then tremendously and just feel incomplete.


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ernalala* 
If only there would be a place where they would be sellig MM I might go and stalk the women picking it up





















lol. No, I guess I'm too shy for that anyway. I'm usually not the one initiating a conversation, pretty introverted. I sometimes wonder how on earth I managed to actually make friends and get married and all, lol.
The sad thing is that when conversation starts the one single thing that keeps being adressed is me 'probably' being a foreigner, where from, how long here, it's like curiosity for 'what', not 'who' I am







. I'm not usually the one asking many questions to others, so it feels like being interrogated over and over again. I figure that most friendships I have, started by randomly meeting and unexpectedly having a good time together, not by this kind of 'social conversation' . I'm also the kind that would like to skip that part, and just not knowing how to make that happen  Or else, I do get along with some wohm or wohw (whom I very rarely see) at the other end of town, so not much a match to be able to get together; what's liked about me is usually my skipping the 'obligatory/social conversation' part and just naturally feeling comfortable around one another.
Whenever I had pleasant random meetings/contacts with others they just live way too far (other town most likely).
My two kids keep me a bit 'close to home' these years, but oth I dread for the time 'alone' there will be once Ds2 will also start morning pre-school. I just feel too empty-handed when they're not around! Sometimes I wish so much to have alone time (oh really, I do, especially with alll the sibling rivalry going on), but then when I'm out and about without my LOs I miss then tremendously and just feel incomplete.

I hear you. I am actually quite a social person, but I really can't stand small talk. I also enjoy spending time on my own. I meet lots of interesting people but am not sure how to keep the contacts going and perhaps turn them into friendships.

I totally feel incomplete without my kids too, and would hate to have to work out of the home while they are small.


----------



## expat-mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
I hear you. I am actually quite a social person, but I really can't stand small talk. I also enjoy spending time on my own. I meet lots of interesting people but am not sure how to keep the contacts going and perhaps turn them into friendships.

I totally get this! I can't stand small talk either and I'm actually not really used to it. Living in a foreign country with limited language skills pretty much cuts out most of the everyday small talk. Now that I'm back home, I find small talk irritating at best. And I'm shocked to discover how much of it is all about television shows! I can't believe how many people spend so much time discussing tv shows and characters. And as someone who doesn't really watch TV...it can be off putting. I went out to birthday dinner party and it took me about 20 minutes to figure out that everyone was talking about some guy in a sham commercial and not a "real" person that they all knew! Eek.
It's easy to meet people...I also just don't know how to bridge first meetings into lasting friendships. I always feel like I'm asking someone out on a date or something







And when it does come down to getting together alone with someone I don't really know, I get nervous and don't want to bother.


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 
I totally get this! I can't stand small talk either and I'm actually not really used to it. Living in a foreign country with limited language skills pretty much cuts out most of the everyday small talk. Now that I'm back home, I find small talk irritating at best. And I'm shocked to discover how much of it is all about television shows! I can't believe how many people spend so much time discussing tv shows and characters. And as someone who doesn't really watch TV...it can be off putting. I went out to birthday dinner party and it took me about 20 minutes to figure out that everyone was talking about some guy in a sham commercial and not a "real" person that they all knew! Eek.
It's easy to meet people...I also just don't know how to bridge first meetings into lasting friendships. I always feel like I'm asking someone out on a date or something







And when it does come down to getting together alone with someone I don't really know, I get nervous and don't want to bother.









Me too. I never watch tv, unless I have no internet







. I'd prefer to read, but the few times I do my books get ripped apart by DD. So for now, my books are mainly stored away







. I get what you say about feeling you're asking someone on a date too. I get shy all of a sudden in those situations, and nothing ends up happening at all. Did you learn to speak Korean? How did you find it? I learnt a lot but, while I do understand hangeul, I never got quick enough to be able to read newspapers or anything of more than a sentence, for that matter







I found it especially hard to form friendships there, what with the cultural vagueness and never saying what you mean. Apart from Korean men thinking thinking that, because I was single, I'd definitely be available to them


----------



## chanibell

I have more single friends or fwk ( friends without kids). It took me a while (when my son came along) to find friends with kids. I found one through the mothers of color thread who lives 10 mins away! Its nice having someone with a flexible schedule and our kids are about the same age. Seattle tends to keep people inside a lot. Maybe this is the reason?????


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 
I don't know why I'm so emotionally invested in humoring other people. But it sure makes me happy to make other people laugh.









Perhaps in a past life you were a vaudevillian?









Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
when I broke my tooth on one of them! The tooth was basically all filling and no tooth, but now there is a crack to the root... which means it has to be pulled














. I wanted some time to say goodbye to the tooth (stupid right? now I need two trips to the dentist) and it is coming out today. I am going to have a bridge put in in a couple weeks.









Ugh! I went through all that a few years ago







What do you do with your LO's when you go to the dentist? I'm always making appointments and then canceling them because I have no one to watch DD.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommariffic* 
I think I've found my home ;]

Most of my friends are child free. I'm a younger mom [by today's standards at least] at 24, so the few friends I have are busy with lives that aren't scheduled around board books and finger painting. Although some of them hang with me and the kid, I know that my child-rearing ways are kind of a turn off. One of my good friends is someone I "hired" to run errands with me, since I don't drive, so we see each other a few times a week, but that's it.

As far as daily/weekly mom friends, I'm at a loss. Whenever I see a neat mom I literally drool at the thought of play dates and tea parties. JUST the other day in the bookstore a woman picked up "Mothering" and I got all shy and told her it was my favorite magazine.

I swear, I was two steps from begging her to be friend.

So, my daughter and I are desperate, yes. Email friends, real life, I'll take anything. Motherhood can be LONELY, huh?

Welcome! Cool blog! I have to go back and read more of it late. I'm on goodreads too but I haven't updated it in a while.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
I am also getting ready to start a little babywearing and cloth diaper business. I have already have three orders for podaegis. My dentist is actually pregnant and I was like the first to find out because I showed up way too early and she had just done the test! I am hoping she will want lots of things sewn for her!


Congrats on the new venture! Is there much babywearing in Serbia or will you be setting a trend?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chanibell* 
I found one through the mothers of color thread who lives 10 mins away! Its nice having someone with a flexible schedule and our kids are about the same age.

I also met a friend on MDC who lives nearby with a child the same age as DD. Isn't MDC great?


----------



## ernalala

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Apart from ... men thinking thinking that, because I was single, I'd definitely be available to them









Hmmm. I feel much 'safer' with my kids around me for this reason, too. When I'm alone and wandering around/shopping/whatever, ppl (read: mostly shop assistents and the like) are more chatty with me and praise my language and want to know how long I've been here etc., so just in case one of my first lines is that I'm married to a local since almost 9 years







, when dealing with males. Or like, shoestore assistant wants to suggest shoes for me and picks out the higher heels versions, and I say no thank you I need to be able to run after my kids







!
Also, culturally speaking dh's culture ,this just makes me uncomfortable.
And it's a huge difference comparing to occasions when I'm with dh and/or children, or when being obviously pregnant







. The past 5years our 'mixed' children have been topic of conversation







.


----------



## ernalala

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Ugh! I went through all that a few years ago







What do you do with your LO's when you go to the dentist? I'm always making appointments and then canceling them because I have no one to watch DD.

I had my 4 wisdom teeth taken after my first pregnancy. They finally gave up on me







. Dh always accompanied me with our baby, because he was excl bf at the time. On most dental visits we've taken our children with us, also when dh had appointments, which wre scheduled for Saturdays, we accompanied him. Once I really needed a dental visit (post-pregnancy check-up) when I had DS2 but I never got there, our dentist (she is our friend(ly) dentist  offered me a lift with her to her practice (we live close to her 'route' to town) and take me in first. I'd told her I wanted to come in but was concerned about my excl bf baby who wouldn't be comfortable without me and who wouldn't take a bottle (of bm) at home either, so there she came with a plan . I assured her my baby was always quiet and easy-going, but the few times I've dared to say that to ppl on outings, I should have crossed my fingers because every single time it turned out to be an out-with-the-baby-fiasco with an upset, screaming baby instead an easy-going one







:







. I think he heard me talking.







So basically my dentist was totally nervously, quickly dealing with my teeth while my baby was not at all happy in the other room, me not comfortable at all because of that, and the assistant, and another client







have been comforting him until I 'got done'. Not to do ever again, we agreed on that lol. But noneed to, kids are older now . Still, we take them in with us. Last time both dh and I needed to be checked, and it took a bit long but at least dh could take them out while dentist dealt with me and we would meet up later. The kids had a nice meal and us mum and dad were hungrily watching them eat, we were not allowed to eat yet because of our dental treatment - lol.
We'll miss these 'situations' in the future, I'm sure.


----------



## expat-mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Did you learn to speak Korean? How did you find it? I learnt a lot but, while I do understand hangeul, I never got quick enough to be able to read newspapers or anything of more than a sentence, for that matter







I found it especially hard to form friendships there, what with the cultural vagueness and never saying what you mean. Apart from Korean men thinking thinking that, because I was single, I'd definitely be available to them









I did learn to speak and read Korean. I can probably speak and read at ummm a fourth or fifth grade level







. So I could get by really well with simple conversations or written things and communicate with the students and teachers I worked with, but anything requiring more than that I wouldn't understand fully.
I also found it hard to make Korean friends. I always felt like I was being used for something (being taken out to dinner and then brought to someone's house after for what I thought was a social call, but was really to meet their cousin/brother/friend who wants me to tutor them/help write an application letter etc.







) or I was entertainment (look at my foreigner friend- doesn't she speak funny? look how WELL she can use chopsticks! let's all take a billion pictures with the foreigner we don't even know. etc...







) for other Koreans when I was hanging out with most Koreans. I stopped hanging out with Koreans for the most part when I moved to Seoul, where I perceived these kinds of things happening even more.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chanibell* 
I have more single friends or fwk ( friends without kids). It took me a while (when my son came along) to find friends with kids. I found one through the mothers of color thread who lives 10 mins away! Its nice having someone with a flexible schedule and our kids are about the same age. Seattle tends to keep people inside a lot. Maybe this is the reason?????

My one good friend used to live in Seattle, then moved to Philadelphia a while ago. He always talks about how isolated everyone is in Seattle and how unfriendly they are compared to people in Philadelphia. He actually sent me an article about the lack of social opportunities in Seattle once. Apparently it's a problem lots of people deal with there.


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## summerforever1977

I haven't posted here since my original post awhile back... I remember there were a few people from Central Jersey and I just wanted to let those mamas near or in Monmouth County that I have started a group for AP mamas so that we can meet up and be with like-minded women. Plus, I thought it would be great to have a playgroup for our kids too so double bonus there! Let me know if you are interested and I'll be happy to share the info!


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## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expat-mama* 
let's all take a billion pictures with the foreigner

YES! Korea must be the only place where total strangers approached me to have my picture taken with them. One girl said it was in order to prove to her parents that she had really spoken to a foreigner! That is a lot nicer than people feeling they have to make nasty comments to feel better about themselves, like here. Every time I use public transport, it is a disaster.

I take my kids with me to the dentist. Kaya draws or watches me, and the lil guy just sleeps in his podaegi the whole time







, or he might wake up, will nurse (in the pod) and go back to sleep. I feel nervous about having the molds made for the bridge though, I have never had something like that done but I have heard it can take ages.

Babywearing is relatively new to Serbia, there is just me and a company selling ring slings. I am hoping it will be a success. If not, I am going to move on to another country. You can look at some of my stuff on my flick account if you want http://www.flickr.com/photos/[email protected]/. Criticism welcome, of course







.

Is it pretty rainy and nasty over here today, as well as cold. How's the weather where everybody else is? Are you having an OK weekend?


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## ~kitnkaboodle~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mama2Rio* 
maybe me?! my LO is RIO... river







:

LMAO no I don't think you are the one stalking me haha. ITs actually someone I know in real life and can anyone tell me what a PP is?


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## Mama2Rio

no i wasn't stalking anyone! i must have missesd something... haha


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## ~kitnkaboodle~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mama2Rio* 
no i wasn't stalking anyone! i must have missesd something... haha

Or I misunderstood you quoteing me.


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## AllysonB

I am in the same boat. Most of the time I feel pretty alone. DH is active in his hobbies outside of the family. I try to get involved in things as much as I can. I am pretty terrible at making friends really. I feel like a leper. I am thankful though that I have met a MDC'er here, but I end up talking her ear off from all the pent up thoughts.


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## Mimi

i know that feeling. Don't get me wrong, i love spending every day with my children, i love having them around, but try talking about political issues & that sort of thing, hah. dd is 2 1/2 ds is 6 months. they have no interest in anything but playdough & dinosaurs..


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## mommariffic

I would LOVE to do a play group, or meetup, or anything! I'm in Rockaway, which is kind of North Jersey, but we travel :] I hope I replied to this right, I'm kind of getting used to the whole message board thing.

If you want to email me: [email protected] should do the trick


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## 106657

Hello all. Things here are looking good. I am so ready for spring!! I hope things are going good for everyone.


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## BaBaBa

Well I thought I'd finally have a weekend free of company, obligations etc and be able to have some time to unwind and relax but nope. Yesterday, #2 inlaws invited themselves over for supper today.

I was so pissed off.

I hope it didn't show


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## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Well I thought I'd finally have a weekend free of company, obligations etc and be able to have some time to unwind and relax but nope. Yesterday, #2 inlaws invited themselves over for supper today.

I was so pissed off.

I hope it didn't show









Wow, how rude is that? If it did show you were annoyed, perhaps they will think twice about doing it again! "Inviting oneself" is such an unacceptable thing to do IMO.


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## BaBaBa

Really, the only time they come is when they invite themselves. Last time, they we're even going to bring people with them! DH was so annoyed but he was taken off guard. He had to call back and say we just didn't have enough food for two more people.

I suggested to DH that he suggest to his dad that they arrange our get togethers in advance. It feels like they come not because he wants to see his grand daughter but because they're bored that weekend.

AND

they don't even take their shoes off when they come in although we all do at their house!


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## ~PurityLake~

Mount Redoubt erupted last night around 10:38 pm. The ash fall is heading north east. Anchorage is north east of Mt. Redoubt.

Here's a link to the story:

Alaska volcano spews 9 mile high ash plume

Down the page are a couple maps showing the ash fall path and the location of Anchorage (where I live).

There is also another article about an airplane crossing the ash plume path in 1990 (the last Redoubt eruption) and what happened to the jet.


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## ~kitnkaboodle~

Are they going to evacuate Anchorage then? That must be very scary for you.


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## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~kitnkaboodle~* 
Are they going to evacuate Anchorage then? That must be very scary for you.

No. Anchorage residents are half the entire state's population, anyway.


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## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 
Mount Redoubt erupted last night around 10:38 pm. The ash fall is heading north east. Anchorage is north east of Mt. Redoubt.

Here's a link to the story:

Alaska volcano spews 9 mile high ash plume

Down the page are a couple maps showing the ash fall path and the location of Anchorage (where I live).

There is also another article about an airplane crossing the ash plume path in 1990 (the last Redoubt eruption) and what happened to the jet.

Wow purity lake, that sounds impressive. Do you feel any of the effects of the eruption?

My own horror story for the day is that half the city apparently got sent enormous bills for "communal expenses". These letters never arrived, and then the people in question were served with court papers, which didn't arrive either... and now they are supposed to pay the original bill + interest + court fees for a case they were never aware of. Me included







:







:. I just got the first notice saying my court case had already taken place!!! And if I don't pay before the month is up, they'll add more onto the bill AGAIN. I don't know whether I should pay or not.


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## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Wow purity lake, that sounds impressive. Do you feel any of the effects of the eruption?

No, I didn't even feel the 5 earthquakes. Must have been too far away. Earthquakes scare the heck outta me. I remember the first one I felt was when I was 7 years old. We lived in Adak, Alaska (my stepdad was in the navy). We were at home, it was the afternoon so we were home from school. I don't remember the exact richter scale, maybe somewhere between 7 and 8. We hid under our dining room table and the knick knacks on the shelves and walls were wobbling, but didn't fall. My mom had this collection of sculpted small heads of famous writers/poets that she'd bought when we lived in Scotland. One of them fell off the wall and broke. It actually lasted a pretty long time, or so it felt. When the rumblings slowed down, we looked out our front living room window (we lived in a duplex in the navy housing) and we saw the electric poles swaying! The next time I remember being in an earthquake was in Oregon. I was sleeping over at a friends house when I was 18 years old. At first I thought a large box truck was driving along the road, until the sound got louder and my bed started to move. I jumped out of bed to stand in the doorway. My heart was just racing.


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## ecb

I feel totally silly saying I'm lonely because, compared to some of the mamas living in foreign parts, or out in "the middle of nowhere", I'm feeling lonely in Los Angeles! I think it's that everything is driving distance around here, which is a PITA with a baby. There's plenty of crunchy mamas around here, but it seems like everyone's either a silo or already in their own cliques? *sigh*

I've never thought I would have trouble making/finding friends before! I've always been a little bit social butterfly, usually making friends with the "odd kids", but friends nonetheless. But marriage, changing jobs and now parenthood seems to have stripped my friend pool! I'm solution-oriented though, so anyone have any tips/suggestions for finding other lonely local like-minded mamas? *alliteration intended*


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## BaBaBa

Hi ecb!

MDC is actually a great way to meet other mamas in your area.
Post in your tribal area, Callifornia, or even add a message in your siggy inviting mamas in LA to PM you.

...and awesome website. I hear ya on the laundry


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## MittensKittens

How are you all? Thought I would check in. My internet connection has been a total pain, and while I normally have internet EITHER on my laptop, or on the imac, over the last few days I haven't had either, most of the time







. I am off with the lady I met here on MDC again today, should be fun! And I am going to a parents' organization meeting on Sunday. It's a bit like LLL I guess, they do a lot to promote and such things. I thought it would be a good opportunity to meet other moms... ...and perhaps find some buyers for my podaegis etc







. I suppose it is OK to take my kids to such a meeting, since it is held inside a childrens activity center...

Purity lake - of course earth square scare you. I guess they scare any rational person. How's things in anchorage now? Any nasty fumes and so on?


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## ernalala

Also an earthquake prone country here. Although our region is usually free of heavy/serious earthquakes, there has been some recent activity again the past few years. And me always claiming to my family that they shouldnt worry about us and earthquakes since there are not any significant ones where we live! (Yet?)

The times it happened when I was in this country it was at night and what could be felt where I was, was far from the epicentrum and/or were aftershocks. And I must admit I slept through most







. You feel them less also when you live at the base of a building than the top of an appt building (and we lived in a basement appt at the time).
Ironically, I woke up from an eartquake once in Be (of all countries lol, it is very very rare to actually feel one happen there), said to myself 'oh that must be an earthquake' fell asleep again and remembered in the morning and opened the radio to listen if it REALLY happened.

Anyway, I just want to say it is NOT clever to have any shelving with nicknacks or a heavy painting/ornament hanging above your bed because even with minor shocks, it may fall of and injure you while sleeping.

No active volcanoes in the immediate neighbourhood as far as I know, but it must be pretty shocking when one so close starts to erupt again! I hope it will be ok there with Mt Redoubt erupting.


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## ~PurityLake~

Apparently, Redoubt is expected to continue erupting for the next couple months, so normal flight traffic returned after a day, I think it was. No ash fall here in Anchorage, still, and I can't even see the mountain from here, even though, technically, I have a direct view of it if I could see that far, over the cook inlet.


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## jeminijad

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 

MDC is actually a great way to meet other mamas in your area.
Post in your tribal area, Callifornia, or even add a message in your siggy inviting mamas in LA to PM you.


I am one with very few friends- grew up moving every year, and I haven't been in this city long. DH and I are pretty much each other's only friends.

Will take this advice, too, and post in my tribal area. Hope you don't mind my lurking on this thread, as well.


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## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jeminijad* 
Will take this advice, too, and post in my tribal area. Hope you don't mind my lurking on this thread, as well.









awh...c'mon out of lurkdom and join the chat


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## MittensKittens

Hey guys! How were your weekends?


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## ~PurityLake~

Look what I found.

My weekend was all right. My husband's son was here this weekend, but left saturday instead of sunday to go to a boy scout overnight at a campground. My husband lost a day's work to drive him out there. We will definitely be feeling the effects of that.


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## organicpapayamama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ecb* 
I feel totally silly saying I'm lonely because, compared to some of the mamas living in foreign parts, or out in "the middle of nowhere", I'm feeling lonely in Los Angeles! I think it's that everything is driving distance around here, which is a PITA with a baby. There's plenty of crunchy mamas around here, but it seems like everyone's either a silo or already in their own cliques? *sigh*

I've never thought I would have trouble making/finding friends before! I've always been a little bit social butterfly, usually making friends with the "odd kids", but friends nonetheless. But marriage, changing jobs and now parenthood seems to have stripped my friend pool! I'm solution-oriented though, so anyone have any tips/suggestions for finding other lonely local like-minded mamas? *alliteration intended*

i know how you feel. Im also in los angeles and its quiet the lonely place. Im a recently single mom so I know Im in a bit of a down funk. Im slowly getting better but its tough none the less. I work odd hours and have to be up super early which leaves me super tired during the day. anyway, good to meet another LA-er 8)


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## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 
Look what I found.

My weekend was all right. My husband's son was here this weekend, but left saturday instead of sunday to go to a boy scout overnight at a campground. My husband lost a day's work to drive him out there. We will definitely be feeling the effects of that.

That looks impressive, beautiful actually!


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## MittensKittens

Where are you all? Still alive?







Or de-lonelied?


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## Mimi

i'm in the middle of moving house, so that doesn't help.
i am worried, my left boob hurts like crazy , so i am seeing a doctor today. :/ fingers crossed it's just.. i don't know. just nothing serious, i hope.
<3


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## 106657

Hey mamas. How are things going? I have been so busy with things lately I haven't had a chance to get on the computer. Today is the first day in a long time I have nothing to do. Yesterday was such a beautiful day, warm the sun was out. Today it is so foggy and just grey!! I so need spring to get here. I started some plants last week and am going to start some more this weekend. Our growing season is so short so I like to get a jump on it. Well, I am going to get moving. Hope everyone has a great day.


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## Mimi

oh well, just mastitis. at least that will go away.


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## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *herewearetogether* 
oh well, just mastitis. at least that will go away.

Oh, that is one less thing to worry about! Glad you are OK. How's the move progressing?


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## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Hey mamas. How are things going? I have been so busy with things lately I haven't had a chance to get on the computer. Today is the first day in a long time I have nothing to do. Yesterday was such a beautiful day, warm the sun was out. Today it is so foggy and just grey!! I so need spring to get here. I started some plants last week and am going to start some more this weekend. Our growing season is so short so I like to get a jump on it. Well, I am going to get moving. Hope everyone has a great day.

Yeah, things are so much nicer and I feel better all round when the weather is great and we can go do things outside. It's been really lovely here for a couple of days now. We have all got the flu though and haven't been able to enjoy any of it. First the baby got ill, then DD, and now me. And I HAVE to go to the dentist to get a bridge fitted tomorrow







.

What plants are you growing?


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## Mimi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Oh, that is one less thing to worry about! Glad you are OK. How's the move progressing?

not good,to be honest, i ahevn't even started to pack. i guess i'll just throw it all into the car on moving day ( two weeks!!) and hope for the best.
we are getting rid of A LOT of stuff, so if anyone needs anything let me know, and we probably have it. (seriously.)

ps// anyone on neopets?


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## ernalala

Spring really started here! I closed the heating system completely, we did some much-needed gardening the past week and I've been out half of the time with one or both of my children. We planted two pomegranate, an apricot and an apple tree (and got rid of the old one which didn't provide anymore), trimmed the grape vines and mulberry and I moved our rosemary and lavender plants to another location, still need to add more plants, grow new grass (we had to let it die last Summer due to huge water shortage), mend the wall and paint some. lol when I write it like this it sounds like a huge garden and it's only two little yards front and back, but again the heavy soil is killing us . Yes, spring here is so short, too. However, we've tried growing grass end of June in the past and that worked, too. We need to feed our plants lots of water though, even now in real spring we didn't get significant rain. Have my ILs over too. Will celebrate my sons 5th birthday soon. He's been asking for almost a year about his birthday







I told it him it comes along with the flowers in spring, he loves this looking forward to it. And the sweetest of all, he bought me a bouquet of flowers







: last week!!!!





















:


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## expat-mama

Hi everyone, just checking in. How is everyone's weekend going? Yes...spring IS finally here. And with it the rain. Oh well, it's better than snow.

Nothing much going on with me. DH heard back about funding from one of the phd programs he applied to and it wasn't good news. Apparently funding for the social sciences and humanities is down with the economy...technology and science spending is UP as usual though







: Isn't there anyone out there that sees the value in brilliant people studying how humans can live together in this world safely and happily? All the research funding goes to finding ways to make more money







: live longer (mostly drugs/pharms -why does anyone want to live longer when they can't live safely or happily?) and things like that. Imagine if the money put into useless things like the space program were put to use in studying how humans can form a fair, just, and productive society or put into researching how to create a global economy that actually WORKS. ugh. sorry for the rant. it's so frustrating. My DH has a friend who got 100 times the funding that he wants to research how to make better cameras for drone planes- you know the ones that are unmanned and drop bombs from the sky to kill people? Yep. That's the kind of research that gets MILLIONS in funding. arrrrrrrgh!

We are still waiting to hear about funding from the other place he applied to. Otherwise it is back to the drawing board for DH...he will be just crushed if he's not able to do his work. And then of course, that will be back to the drawing board for us as well- where to go and live and all that.

We are leaving for Guatemala on the 15th so I'm getting super excited about that! We have plans to climb some active volcanos, trek through some cloud forests, see some Mayan ruins- and that's just in Guatemala. We're also going through Honduras, Nicaragua and El Salvador. There has been some violence in the region lately, but we aren't worried. As long as we keep our wits about us, I think we'll be fine.

On another note- I watched a film called Occupation 101 the other day. It's about the occupation of the Palestinian territories and it shows the daily lives of Palestinian families and how they are affected by the occupation. I have been telling everyone to watch it. So, if you're interested, check it out.


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## ~PurityLake~

Spring has not yet sprung up here.


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## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
What plants are you growing?

I grow all my veggies and pumpkins, watermelon, strawberries. I try to grow everything we eat, plus tomatoes and beans to can. The list is so long, my garden will be about 1/4 acre this year!


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## expat-mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 
Spring has not yet sprung up here.









Yes, I suppose I was a bit premature in declaring that spring has arrived- there is a blizzard outside my window this morning!







: When will it end???

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
I grow all my veggies and pumpkins, watermelon, strawberries. I try to grow everything we eat, plus tomatoes and beans to can. The list is so long, my garden will be about 1/4 acre this year!

Wow- that sounds deliciously amazing! Good for you and your green thumb!







:


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## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
I grow all my veggies and pumpkins, watermelon, strawberries. I try to grow everything we eat, plus tomatoes and beans to can. The list is so long, my garden will be about 1/4 acre this year!

I lived in Oregon as a child for about 7 years and before that lived in Wisconsin with our grandparents. In both those homes (I've lived in a lot of places), there were vegetable gardens. In Oregon, we had cherry, peach and apple trees, raspberries and strawberries, beans, pumpkin, corn, zucchini, tomatoes and I'm probably forgetting something. I so miss having fresh produce. The stores around here provide sad specimens and farmer's market is only available certain times of certain days during the short, short, nearly non existent summer here. It's just not the same and walking out your back door, into your own yard, and selecting a fresh tomato from the vine.


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## 106657

Morning mamas. It is raining here again today. I don't mind the rain it's just when it starts in the morning and ends in the night, and then starts again in the morning only to last the entire day. It looks like it will be another day spent inside.


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## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
I grow all my veggies and pumpkins, watermelon, strawberries. I try to grow everything we eat, plus tomatoes and beans to can. The list is so long, my garden will be about 1/4 acre this year!

Wonderful! There is nothing better than home grown strawberries!







: When I was growing up, my family (granddad in particular) used top grow everything too, and I really think that other food is often tasteless, even organic stuff. Sadly, living in an apartment, I don't get much further than growing water cress









Expat, great to hear you are doing well and I am so excited for you about your trip! I would just love to do all those things! Sorry about the PHD funding though, this crisis is affecting all of us in different horrible ways









I got my bridge today - it hurt like heck but was sure worth it, my teeth are beautiful again! My DD decided to get into this horrible toddler phase where she throws a tantrum every. single. time. when something doesn't go her way, which is a bit tiring







.


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## ~D~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
I grow all my veggies and pumpkins, watermelon, strawberries. I try to grow everything we eat, plus tomatoes and beans to can. The list is so long, my garden will be about 1/4 acre this year!

I am relocating to AZ from MI and I do (I mean did) garden a bit here. I will miss fresh homegrown tomatoes and squash and onions and cilantro and all.....

Anyone have ideas about container gardening in the desert? Too bad I couldn't grow a friend or two in my garden...


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## 106657

Hey ~D~, I would check into raised beds maybe. Do you know how much rain you will get? Maybe get some barrels to collect rainwater. When I lived int Florida I grew all of my herbs in containers. It was easy to move them around from the intense summer sun. Tomatoes would be easy to container grow.


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## ~D~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Hey ~D~, I would check into raised beds maybe. Do you know how much rain you will get? Maybe get some barrels to collect rainwater. When I lived int Florida I grew all of my herbs in containers. It was easy to move them around from the intense summer sun. Tomatoes would be easy to container grow.

Great idea, thanks! I don't think we'll get too much rain being in the desert, and I was thinking of collecting any rainwater we do get for something...
Have you heard of the tomato growing thingy that you hang and it grows upside down? I wonder it I could do that organically...
I once tried to grow tomatoes in a plastic wading pool with holes in the bottom for drainage. It worked ok, but it wasn't deep enough to keep them going all season - they were pitifully stunted. I try to use/reuse things around the house (hence the old wading pool) so maybe a 5 gal. bucket might work better. I could move that around easier...


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## 106657

~D~, my mother tried the upside down thing, she said it worked. I know someone who uses the big rubbermaid containers to grow tomatoes in. She puts a pvc pipe close to the roots and waters the plant that way. I think any container deep enough would work.

You are making a big move! Sounds like us moving from Florida to New Hampshire. Good luck.


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## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 
I lived in Oregon as a child for about 7 years and before that lived in Wisconsin with our grandparents. In both those homes (I've lived in a lot of places), there were vegetable gardens. In Oregon, we had cherry, peach and apple trees, raspberries and strawberries, beans, pumpkin, corn, zucchini, tomatoes and I'm probably forgetting something. I so miss having fresh produce. The stores around here provide sad specimens and farmer's market is only available certain times of certain days during the short, short, nearly non existent summer here. It's just not the same and walking out your back door, into your own yard, and selecting a fresh tomato from the vine.









The store around here are the same, and when they do have fresh produce you pay for it! My kids think the things I buy in the stores either taste funny, or don't taste at all. My goal it to get some fruit trees around here too.


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## ~D~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
~D~, my mother tried the upside down thing, she said it worked. I know someone who uses the big rubbermaid containers to grow tomatoes in. She puts a pvc pipe close to the roots and waters the plant that way. I think any container deep enough would work.

You are making a big move! Sounds like us moving from Florida to New Hampshire. Good luck.

Oh!! A fellow Floridian!! I miss FL sooooooo much. My parents moved us to MI in '89 and every time I go back I feel like I can't leave. MY husband and I seriously considered it last year, but the serious lack of jobs made us decide against it. About killed me to spend another winter here... I liked AZ when we visited my brother and when dh got a line on a better job (he's laid off) we decided to take the plunge. It's not FL but it's not MI either, so I can deal...

Did your family leave FL because of the job situation, too?? I hope in the dark corners of myself that if AZ doesn't work for us, FL will be boomin' again. I am currently attending UOP for a degree in Hospitality just for that reason







:

BTW, thanks for the gardening tips xoxoxo


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## Mama2Rio

hey D... i find you here too! hope az will work out for you! the weathers great! when do you plan on arriving? looking for a few friends too! we tried a garden 2 X and failed... i grew up in CT so were still figuring this stuff out, plus we're still getting our yard in order, just got desert landscaping, well rocks, and we have weeds growing among them...


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## 106657

Morning mamas. Today is not so bad weather wise. Sunny, but a bit on the cool and windy side.

~D~, We moved because the area was changing so fast, and we felt it was not good for the kids to grow up there. I miss home, but there was just so much gang/crime starting to pick up. Where we live now is nice, but we need to get use to it, after living for 39 years in one place it can be tough, but it was a good move for my kids.


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## ~D~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mama2Rio* 
hey D... i find you here too! hope az will work out for you! the weathers great! when do you plan on arriving? looking for a few friends too! we tried a garden 2 X and failed... i grew up in CT so were still figuring this stuff out, plus we're still getting our yard in order, just got desert landscaping, well rocks, and we have weeds growing among them...

Hey... Our ETA (as of today) is the 1st week in June. School lets out May 28 and I expect to be out there shortly thereafter. Hope I can get the school thing figured out before then though.

As for the gardening, I have a bit of my mother's green thumb and had a pretty good sized garden here. Hope I'll have the same luck out there. I'm thinking container gardening is going to be the way to go...

Do you know of any flea markets in the area? When we were out there I didn't have time to look for and didn't notice any...


----------



## ~D~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Morning mamas. Today is not so bad weather wise. Sunny, but a bit on the cool and windy side.

~D~, We moved because the area was changing so fast, and we felt it was not good for the kids to grow up there. I miss home, but there was just so much gang/crime starting to pick up. Where we live now is nice, but we need to get use to it, after living for 39 years in one place it can be tough, but it was a good move for my kids.


I know you do miss home.... I'm homesick already and we haven't even left yet.


----------



## Mama2Rio

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~D~* 
Do you know of any flea markets in the area? When we were out there I didn't have time to look for and didn't notice any...

http://www.mesamarket.com/

in mesa, i've been here 2 X


----------



## ~D~

Thanks... I'll check it out. How do you think the Enwrapture skirts would do there? I was just getting up the nerve to get in on one of the co-ops when it was shut down...


----------



## ~D~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~D~* 
Thanks... I'll check it out. How do you think the Enwrapture skirts would do there? I was just getting up the nerve to get in on one of the co-ops when it was shut down...

Yeah never mind my crazy twin sister up there trying to spend a fortune to save a couple bucks.... I told her about this cool new thing called EBay....







:


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## Mama2Rio

Enwrapture skirts... i've been wanting to get a few of those for a long time, just never got around... but now, i don't know if i could pull it off and bf?! plus my hands are messes up, i have some kind of hormonal imbalance which causes my hands to tingle and be kind of numb (related to bfing and pregnancy), it's hard for my to tie/ button things just because i can't feel, it's so annoying.


----------



## ~D~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mama2Rio* 
Enwrapture skirts... i've been wanting to get a few of those for a long time, just never got around... but now, i don't know if i could pull it off and bf?! plus my hands are messes up, i have some kind of hormonal imbalance which causes my hands to tingle and be kind of numb (related to bfing and pregnancy), it's hard for my to tie/ button things just because i can't feel, it's so annoying.

Oh, man that has to be tough...


----------



## ~D~

Just stopping in to say 'hey'...
I hope everyone had a good weekend =)


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~D~* 
Just stopping in to say 'hey'...
I hope everyone had a good weekend =)

We had a good weekend - lovely weather. What did you do?


----------



## 106657

Morning mamas. How was everyone's weekend? Yesterday was so cold, we even had a few flurries. I started some more seeds, and had some nice family time. The sun is out today, I am hoping I can get out and enjoy it.


----------



## doublyblessed

holy canoli, there are a LOT of us out there...i just noticed this thread started in 2005...........................what is UP w/ this being SO HARD...us women not finding true friendships where we live, IRL friends???!!! seems like other mamas/women i meet are too busy to actually follow thru on getting together for playdates for our kids or tea just us mamas.............it really hurts my heart. i need friendship. i want a best friend IRL. my best friend that i've had for a few years now is in another state and i haven't seen her for over a year and a half. right when we were getting closer i took off from my ex while i was 35 wx. pg.

i don't know if its just cuz a lot of people here in my area are either too flakey or they are too pretentious w/ money/trendiness or WHAT. no one seems to want to be my regular buddy. it hurts, ya know? why are women so awkward about actually following thru w/ building friendships??? oh and the other thing is when i start to really dig another mama they wind up moving away...........................its hard for me to even want to get close to someone at this point.







but i sooo want to.


----------



## 106657

Morning all. Today is going to be beautiful! I can not wait to be outside and in the sunshine.

doublyblessed-I hear ya. Most of the people where I am at are working, so being a sahm means I am alone during the day. I wish I knew the answers, but I don't. When they have time, they are playing catch-up with things around their homes, with family and friends, there is no time to invest in making new friends. That's how I see it anyway. Maybe it's because being the new one I feel it's so difficult to break into a new group of people. I have irl friends where I used to live, but three years here and it's just me!


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## BaBaBa

Boy have I missed alot!!!!
Just check'n in though.
DH has been home the past few weeks so we've been spending a lot of quality time together. I've been sick, out of town and busy with projects, gardening and horses.
I'm thinking about all of you.
Be back soon.....


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
DH has been home the past few weeks so we've been spending a lot of *quality time together*. I've been sick, out of town and busy with projects, *gardening and horses*.
I'm thinking about all of you.
Be back soon.....

That all (except the sick part) sounds wonderful. I'm a little jealous.


----------



## 106657

Morning mamas. Hey BaBaBa, I was wondering where you were. Glad to hear you are enjoying time with the family.

Yesterday was beautiful, today is going to be the same. It's not warm enough to open up the house, but sitting outside in the sun feels wonderful.


----------



## ~D~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
We had a good weekend - lovely weather. What did you do?

Oh it was pretty laid back, but my week has been hectic... I had to take dd who is almost 11 to the doctor Monday and then for a blood test Tuesday. She's been severely depressed, angry, experiencing chronic fatigue and just plain miserable and even waking up tired every day. The doc wanted to get a full blood count, thyroid test and a comprehensive chem. I am so torn between hoping we find something wrong so that it can be treated and scared shi**ess it will be something really bad. She is soo miserable right now that her even her teacher sees the difference and is worried. I hate to medicate her because anti-depressants scare me. I once was prescribed Prozac for depression and that put me in the hospital because I got scary worse.... But she needs to get better NOW... I'm going to the health and healing forum to see what I can find out. Wish me luck girls I am so scared for her right now.


----------



## 106657

Morning all.

~D~ thinking about you and your DD. Everything will be ok, maybe it's just a teen thing?


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## Mimi

~D~, I hope your daughter feels better again soon!

We are moving house tomorrow & I have not even packed anything yet. so i really should be busy with that,but I am too busy with other things.
we will just have to pack as we go.

Baabaabaa i missed you!


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *herewearetogether* 
~D~, I hope your daughter feels better again soon!

We are moving house tomorrow & I have not even packed anything yet. so i really should be busy with that,but I am too busy with other things.
we will just have to pack as we go.

Baabaabaa i missed you!

Oops! Hope you get it all together in time. I know what it's like not packing till the last minute....







but moving is always stressful, even if you are "fully prepared".

BaBaBa, nice to see you are still around







, I'd been wondering about you.

D, sorry to hear about your DD. Indeed, it could be a teen thing, but you probably know that best. If it does turn out to be depression, I have heard some people have great results with St Johns Wort - perhaps that would be a less severe solution than traditional medicine.


----------



## abiyhayil

I just read the first post and I'm right there with you, I guess I'm the loner type because even when I try to join mommy groups I'm just kind of on the fringe, heck even on these boards I don't make 'friends'


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *abiyhayil* 
I just read the first post and I'm right there with you, I guess I'm the loner type because even when I try to join mommy groups I'm just kind of on the fringe, heck even on these boards I don't make 'friends'

Hi and welcome! I get you about being on the fringe, and I think most of us here do. You'll find some "friends" here! I see you are expecting another little one - congrats!







:


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## Mimi

mamas, i am moving house in TWO hours,
haven't packed anything yet, but have bought a fridge.
we will still have this place for another month so can leave unimportant things , or things we are going to store somewhere, in this hosue,so that's good.
i just wanted to let you know that we won't have any internet for a few days.
i'll miss you all!!
<3


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

Hey mama's I'm around just been super busy with corbyn. He has 2 teeth coming in so yeah its been a bit stressful


----------



## abiyhayil

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Hi and welcome! I get you about being on the fringe, and I think most of us here do. You'll find some "friends" here! I see you are expecting another little one - congrats!







:









thank you


----------



## ~D~

Hi everyone, thanks for your hugs well wishes =)

DD's blood tests came back normal, and I'm between glad and frustrated. I'm glad there's nothing 'wrong' with her physically, but her doc wants to refer her to see a child psychologist... She doesn't want to go and insists that she would be better talking to me about how she feels... I totally plan on treating her symptoms naturally, I absolutely refuse to put her on prescription drugs. But I'm not sure I have what it takes to 'counsel' her though... I guess I've got a TON of reading to do...


----------



## ~D~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *herewearetogether* 
mamas, i am moving house in TWO hours,
haven't packed anything yet, but have bought a fridge.
we will still have this place for another month so can leave unimportant things , or things we are going to store somewhere, in this hosue,so that's good.
i just wanted to let you know that we won't have any internet for a few days.
i'll miss you all!!
<3

Oh my! Sounds hectic... I hope your move goes well and we will be thinking of you... I am moving next month as well and I know what you are going through.


----------



## Mama2Rio

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~D~* 
Hi everyone, thanks for your hugs well wishes =)

DD's blood tests came back normal, and I'm between glad and frustrated. I'm glad there's nothing 'wrong' with her physically, but her doc wants to refer her to see a child psychologist... She doesn't want to go and insists that she would be better talking to me about how she feels... I totally plan on treating her symptoms naturally, I absolutely refuse to put her on prescription drugs. But I'm not sure I have what it takes to 'counsel' her though... I guess I've got a TON of reading to do...

my cousin is a therapist for chikldren, she will not offer advice/help to friends or family members because she does not want to have a "bias" opinion of the situation... a therapist/psycologist is able to remove themselves emotionaly from the situation, which is the only reason why your dd might need to go to a "professional". i wouldn't force her into it though, because she won't open up if she doesn't want tobe there. it's great that she has a mother who she feelw comfortable with! best luck!


----------



## Mama2Rio

Quote:


Originally Posted by *abiyhayil* 
I just read the first post and I'm right there with you, I guess I'm the loner type because even when I try to join mommy groups I'm just kind of on the fringe, heck even on these boards I don't make 'friends'

i just went to a mommy group for the first time... ahh! dd just wanted to observe, which is fine, so of corse, i follow her lead, she didn't want to get involved. after the program, the room just cleared, no on really stayed to talk...but i did talk to a few straglers, but, ummm... they laughed at co-sleeping... so no friends yet.


----------



## ~D~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mama2Rio* 
my cousin is a therapist for chikldren, she will not offer advice/help to friends or family members because she does not want to have a "bias" opinion of the situation... a therapist/psycologist is able to remove themselves emotionaly from the situation, which is the only reason why your dd might need to go to a "professional". i wouldn't force her into it though, because she won't open up if she doesn't want tobe there. it's great that she has a mother who she feelw comfortable with! best luck!

Yeah, I see your point. If she doesn't progress or if she gets worse, I'll have to get her in. I am mostly going along with what she wants right now b/c I don't want to get her in to see someone then pull her right out when we move to AZ in June...

As far as the co-sleeping, our kids are 8 and almost 11 and we co-slept with both kids and still do quite often. If only our bed was bigger we'd probably co-sleep more. That's the thing - the biggerthey get, the smaller the bed gets =)


----------



## BaBaBa

Hi everyone! I'm back!

DH has gone back to work for a couple of weeks so things are normalizing for me now. I really enjoyed having him home but at the same time it's a comfort to get back into my routine and actually have a bit of time to myself. Husbands do have their place









I can't even begin to catch up on all the chat I've missed! It feels good to have been missed









Weather here today is yucky. Very windy and drizzling rain.

I think we'll be spending the day inside.


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Hi everyone! I'm back!

DH has gone back to work for a couple of weeks so things are normalizing for me now. I really enjoyed having him home but at the same time it's a comfort to get back into my routine and actually have a bit of time to myself. Husbands do have their place









I can't even begin to catch up on all the chat I've missed! It feels good to have been missed









Weather here today is yucky. Very windy and drizzling rain.

I think we'll be spending the day inside.

Glad you had a nice time, and nice to be able to have some me-time as well, again







.

Herewearetogether, how is the move going? (ehm... you'll probably have no internet and not read this?)

It is lovely weather here today am off to the FIRST the customs office and THEN the post office to be able to send a parcel to the US - a home-sewn bag. I really hope they're not going to tell me it is worth any money because, well, it isn't worth any. The amount of red tape is pretty bad over here







.

My babies are both growing so fast and I am feeling a bit sad about it. My nearly four month old is starting to like spending time by himself and not being held/carried 24/7 anymore. While that makes things a little bit easier (I can cook/shower now







) it is sad to think I will never have such a small baby again.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
It is lovely weather here today am off to the FIRST the customs office and THEN the post office to be able to send a parcel to the US - a home-sewn bag. I really hope they're not going to tell me it is worth any money because, well, it isn't worth any. The amount of red tape is pretty bad over here







.


Hope it went well today. That does sound like a hassle! How do the three of you get about? Are you in a city where you can walk everywhere or do you drive?

I think I need some sewing help. I haven't sewed since I was in high school. I'm desperate for summer play clothes for DD but everything seems to have short/no sleeves and I want something with long sleeves to help protect against the sun and bugs. I'm thinking something like a tunic mad with a nice airy cotton. That should be simple to do on my own, right?

We managed to get out a bit yesterday in spite of the wind and rain. We mostly played in the barn with the animals. DD was a great help herding the chickens into the coop.

I'm thinking of going to visit my Dad tomorrow. Spleen fog is eating me alive. If the weather was nice we could probably spend some time in the garden. I have a tomato bed screaming for some love. Unfortunately the forecast remains bleak until the end of the week.


----------



## ~D~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Hope it went well today. That does sound like a hassle! How do the three of you get about? Are you in a city where you can walk everywhere or do you drive?

I think I need some sewing help. I haven't sewed since I was in high school. I'm desperate for summer play clothes for DD but everything seems to have short/no sleeves and I want something with long sleeves to help protect against the sun and bugs. I'm thinking something like a tunic mad with a nice airy cotton. That should be simple to do on my own, right?

We managed to get out a bit yesterday in spite of the wind and rain. We mostly played in the barn with the animals. DD was a great help herding the chickens into the coop.

I'm thinking of going to visit my Dad tomorrow. Spleen fog is eating me alive. If the weather was nice we could probably spend some time in the garden. I have a tomato bed screaming for some love. Unfortunately the forecast remains bleak until the end of the week.

Hey, it feels good to know I'm not the only one thinking of sewing, I bet it's spring fever, or whatever we all call it in our little corners of the planet =)
I'm gonna rescue my mom's 25 year old kenmore and replace the power switch so I can make myself some wrap skirts and simple dresses. Moving to AZ in 6 weeks or so and I know I'll not want to wear jeans, for sure. I'm not an experienced seamstress, but I know enough to make seams and hems... Btw, anyone know of a good source for inexpensive textiles online?? I'm gonna check it out as well, but I though just in case....

Pre-teen drama update:
DD is tolerating St Johns Wort & fish oil well... Don't have to push too hard to get her to take it, so I'm glad. Talking A LOT is helping and I think we'll be ok.

Have a great night mamas =-)


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Hope it went well today. That does sound like a hassle! How do the three of you get about? Are you in a city where you can walk everywhere or do you drive?

I think I need some sewing help. I haven't sewed since I was in high school. I'm desperate for summer play clothes for DD but everything seems to have short/no sleeves and I want something with long sleeves to help protect against the sun and bugs. I'm thinking something like a tunic mad with a nice airy cotton. That should be simple to do on my own, right?

We managed to get out a bit yesterday in spite of the wind and rain. We mostly played in the barn with the animals. DD was a great help herding the chickens into the coop.

I'm thinking of going to visit my Dad tomorrow. Spleen fog is eating me alive. If the weather was nice we could probably spend some time in the garden. I have a tomato bed screaming for some love. Unfortunately the forecast remains bleak until the end of the week.

We managed to send the parcel, although we had to queue up for half an hour - twice! I don't have a car right now, but I am in a very central place so we walk lots. I also use the bus. Which is an absolute pain, because people here seem to think you don't have the right to ride buses with two small kids, or alternatively feel the need to make all kinds of nasty comments. A while back I was riding the bus, with the LO strapped into his podaegi (and then, people often don't notice there is a baby at all) and we were about to get off the bus. My DD was still getting out with my help, and the driver shut the door! It was pretty scary. Buses also have faulty brakes a lot of the time.

Another nice episode was last year, when I was pregnant and didn't have much to wear. It was VERY warm outside and DD was wearing a sleeveless t-shirt and thin pants, while I myself was wearing what fit me at the time - a thick tunic with long sleeves and maternity jeans. A woman sitting next to me actually had the nerve to tell me I was "committing child abuse" by letting DDs arms get sun burnt (which they weren't, at all), but looking after myself by making sure I had long sleeves. She told me "they should take your kids away"!!! Needless to say, I don't enjoy riding on the bus here very much.









What size is your DD? I'll see if I have a nice pattern PDF for a tunic for you. That won't be difficult at all to sew, and I am working on one for DD right now, myself. The fabric is a pain though. If you are after some pattern books, I really love Ottobre, both for me and the kids.

Hope everyone is having a nice day!


----------



## 106657

Morning mamas. This week my kids are off for Spring Break, so I have been outside working the garden with them. When the weather is nice it is so hard for me to spend time in front of the computer.

~D~ St Johns Wort works well, you just have to watch the sun exposure.


----------



## ernalala

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~D~* 
Hey, it feels good to know I'm not the only one thinking of sewing, I bet it's spring fever, ...=-)

I have this in winter, too, but now still in Spring .
I have a sewing machine but still didn't acquire much of a skill to use it. And tbh, I enjoy sewing by hand. Find it totally relaxing, while the machine stresses me out because I2m not good at using it lol. I have made my 5yo son a handmade stuffed Eve (you know, the Wall-E Eve), the idea came up when we hade made a cardboard Wall-E for 3yo son's birthday together (was a succes but didnt keep it's eyes or arms long lol), and my older son said he wanted Eve for his bd.
He got other bd presents too, but he is sleeping with 'his Eve' every single night since then and just loves it! He prefers the handmade dolls given to him by loved ones (eg a knitted bear which he got from his granddad, which had been a handmade present of a co-worker to my dad, and a cat I made him when I was pregnant of him (a history he knows ) over the other stuffed animals he has







.

Noone seemed to have missed me? Lol.


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ernalala* 
Noone seemed to have missed me? Lol.

I saw some of your post on "parenting", so I knew you were around. I guessed you just weren't feeling lonely or something







.

My day has been miserable







. I had a great email from my mom, again, putting me down for my life choices. The fact that my aunt - her sister - has been helping me out financially while I look for a job annoys her no end. I *thought* I had a stable job, and this recession is affecting me along with everyone else. No, that doesn't make me a failure. *Keeps repeating to herself*.

I hope you are all doing better than I am today







.


----------



## ~PurityLake~

My cat died.

It is probably why I haven't posted much lately.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~D~* 
Hey, it feels good to know I'm not the only one thinking of sewing, I bet it's spring fever, or whatever we all call it in our little corners of the planet =)
I'm gonna rescue my mom's 25 year old kenmore and replace the power switch so I can make myself some wrap skirts and simple dresses. Moving to AZ in 6 weeks or so and I know I'll not want to wear jeans, for sure. I'm not an experienced seamstress, but I know enough to make seams and hems... Btw, anyone know of a good source for inexpensive textiles online?? I'm gonna check it out as well, but I though just in case....

Pre-teen drama update:
DD is tolerating St Johns Wort & fish oil well... Don't have to push too hard to get her to take it, so I'm glad. Talking A LOT is helping and I think we'll be ok.


You sound way more skilled than I am. I'd love to make a skirt or a dress. I'm not sure I could even follow a pattern. I'll just have to get the sewing machine out of the box and figure it out. It was a birthday present from DH 2 years ago but DD ended up being born on my birthday and I haven't had the time since to open it.









I'm glad things are going ok with DD. How lucky you both are to share a relationship where she feels she can talk to you. I had a lousy relationship with my mother and I don't want to repeat history with my daughter. I also wanted to add that I can't imagine growing up in these crazy mixed up times. I really sympathize with the teens.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
We managed to send the parcel, although we had to queue up for half an hour - twice! I don't have a car right now, but I am in a very central place so we walk lots. I also use the bus. Which is an absolute pain, because people here seem to think you don't have the right to ride buses with two small kids, or alternatively feel the need to make all kinds of nasty comments. A while back I was riding the bus, with the LO strapped into his podaegi (and then, people often don't notice there is a baby at all) and we were about to get off the bus. My DD was still getting out with my help, and the driver shut the door! It was pretty scary. Buses also have faulty brakes a lot of the time.

Another nice episode was last year, when I was pregnant and didn't have much to wear. It was VERY warm outside and DD was wearing a sleeveless t-shirt and thin pants, while I myself was wearing what fit me at the time - a thick tunic with long sleeves and maternity jeans. A woman sitting next to me actually had the nerve to tell me I was "committing child abuse" by letting DDs arms get sun burnt (which they weren't, at all), but looking after myself by making sure I had long sleeves. She told me "they should take your kids away"!!! Needless to say, I don't enjoy riding on the bus here very much.









What size is your DD? I'll see if I have a nice pattern PDF for a tunic for you. That won't be difficult at all to sew, and I am working on one for DD right now, myself. The fabric is a pain though. If you are after some pattern books, I really love Ottobre, both for me and the kids.


I really look up to the mums I see out and about with 2 or more kiddies in tow. I get so stressed sometimes just with one! I don't know how you all do it?! I almost prefer to just stay at home









People are so ignorant. I don't know what I'd say or do in the situations you described, probably nothing and then get really mad at myself later for not tearing a strip off them.

DD is almost 2.5. She's long and lean. Ottobre looks really cool but way advanced for me. I could maybe....make a pillowcase







. I was thinking of just drawing out a pattern on paper based on one of her existing tops and then cutting it out of the fabric and then sewing the 2 piece together inside out. Shucks! I need to hem it or whatever so the open ends aren't straggly.







: See how inept I am?!









Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Morning mamas. This week my kids are off for Spring Break, so I have been outside working the garden with them. When the weather is nice it is so hard for me to spend time in front of the computer.


Glad someone's having nice weather. It's been lousy here the past few days. Hope the gardening is going well. I have a big long tomato bed that was neglected last year so I have a lot of weeding and mulching to do so I can get some use out of it this year.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ernalala* 
I have this in winter, too, but now still in Spring .
I have a sewing machine but still didn't acquire much of a skill to use it. And tbh, I enjoy sewing by hand. Find it totally relaxing, while the machine stresses me out because I2m not good at using it lol. I have made my 5yo son a handmade stuffed Eve (you know, the Wall-E Eve), the idea came up when we hade made a cardboard Wall-E for 3yo son's birthday together (was a succes but didnt keep it's eyes or arms long lol), and my older son said he wanted Eve for his bd.
He got other bd presents too, but he is sleeping with 'his Eve' every single night since then and just loves it! He prefers the handmade dolls given to him by loved ones (eg a knitted bear which he got from his granddad, which had been a handmade present of a co-worker to my dad, and a cat made him when was pregnant of him (which he knows)) over the other stuffed animals he has







.

Noone seemed to have missed me? Lol.

If I had been here, I would have missed you







!

I am so ignorant... I never would have thought that Wall-E stuff would be in your part of the world







It really is a global village (for better or worse).

I adore handmade dolls too! I started a bear when I was pregnant with DD, just sewing by hand, but I never finished it







maybe someday...

I was thrilled to find an egg in the barn yesterday. That means my tired old hens must be coming back in to production. All it seems to take to get them laying is for me to go out and buy a dozen eggs









Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 

My day has been miserable







. I had a great email from my mom, again, putting me down for my life choices. The fact that my aunt - her sister - has been helping me out financially while I look for a job annoys her no end. I *thought* I had a stable job, and this recession is affecting me along with everyone else. No, that doesn't make me a failure. *Keeps repeating to herself*.











That's really rotten. I'm sure your mom doesn't mean to be so hurtful. I think too many parents don't know how to be unconditionally supportive of their children.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 
My cat died.

It is probably why I haven't posted much lately.











I am so sorry.







Sabrina
I think you dealt with it with your girls beautifully


----------



## ~D~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Morning mamas. This week my kids are off for Spring Break, so I have been outside working the garden with them. When the weather is nice it is so hard for me to spend time in front of the computer.

~D~ St Johns Wort works well, you just have to watch the sun exposure.

Thanks =)
My mom mentioned that to me so now I'm a little freaked out b/c we're moving to AZ in 6 weeks or so... Will sunscreen be enough protection, or will I need to limit her outside time??


----------



## ~D~

Thanks =) You are so sweet, bababa =) Hugs to you!!

I am glad too, it's not easy as you all know... But we are hanging in there together. I have never been this patient before. Ever. But I'm trying. Really hard.

BTW, I am not very skilled, I am going to try this out of necessity. I spent $35 on a dress that didn't fit, took it back, couldn't find one that did fit me. I thought buying patterns and making wraps & shifts & tunics can't be be anymore frustrating than shopping around and I can make stuff the way I want. Also I have a secret sewing weapon. MOM =)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
You sound way more skilled than I am. I'd love to make a skirt or a dress. I'm not sure I could even follow a pattern. I'll just have to get the sewing machine out of the box and figure it out. It was a birthday present from DH 2 years ago but DD ended up being born on my birthday and I haven't had the time since to open it.









I'm glad things are going ok with DD. How lucky you both are to share a relationship where she feels she can talk to you. I had a lousy relationship with my mother and I don't want to repeat history with my daughter. I also wanted to add that I can't imagine growing up in these crazy mixed up times. I really sympathize with the teens.


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## MittensKittens

Wow, there is a lot happening on this thread again! Great!

BaBaBa, please, DON'T try to make a pattern by cutting up an old piece of clothing, and then just, well, sewing it together. I have done this, with catastrophic results














. Sewing according to a pattern may *seem* more difficult, it actually isn't. Just my experience. Oh, there is a nice thread under sew, serge, embroider where you can see what others have made for their kids. Some nice things, and people usually mention where their patterns come from! I'll up the thread for you so you can find it. My DD is about the same age!

Getting about with two rather than one took a bit of getting used to, but now it is just as easy as it was with one. I LOVE having two kids. They are already starting to interact with each other and it is just the greatest thing to see! I hope they will have a great relationship for the rest of their lives!

Oh, and thanks for your kind words - I know she doesn't mean it like that, she is just speaking before she thinks. It is a problem that I have had as well, only I have learnt to deal with it and count to three before I say something







.

Purity Lake, I am so sorry about your cat Sabrina. You gave her a worthy good bye!

D, how is your daughter, and how are you coping?


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## MittensKittens

Here is the thread showing off kids' clothes.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~D~* 
Also I have a secret sewing weapon. MOM =)











Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 

Getting about with two rather than one took a bit of getting used to, but now it is just as easy as it was with one. I LOVE having two kids. They are already starting to interact with each other and it is just the greatest thing to see! I hope they will have a great relationship for the rest of their lives!



Oh I wasn't going to cut the old clothing up. I just meant to study it and use it as a reference for size, length etc while allowing for seam allowances.

I'd love to hear more about your experiences with two. I'm not single but since DH is away from us so frequently I often feel like I am and I don't think you have many family or friends nearby to help you and I'm sort of in that situation too. I would rather not have DD be an only child but quite frankly, I'm scared to have another one for fear that I couldn't cope on my own. It's hard for me to relate to other moms who have a spouse coming home at the end of the day. I'm sort of hoping for an 'accident' so that I can have another one without committing to a challenge that I don't know I can meet. Plus, DD is pretty high needs and has probably given me the impression that all babies are like her when I know better. And I also accept that I'm not really a baby person. I keep looking forward to the day when she'll be old enough to converse with, play games and entertain herself. I'm sure a second one would help in some ways because they would occupy each other somewhat.

ugh...plus I'm not getting any younger IYKWIM.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Here is the thread showing off kids' clothes.

Thats a great thread. BTW, your stuff looks great







. Alas, I think it's all beyond me. I need something for an absolute beginner.

We went to play group this morning and had a nice time. DH comes home tomorrow and we're supposed to have some nice weather ahead







:


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## expat-mama

hola ladies...
i tried to read through the last few posts but i have a lot of catching up to do. i hope everyone is doing well. i´m taking a moment to check in and say hello. we are in guatemala having a fantastic time doing lots of hiking, trekking, camping, loving and relaxing. it´s only been a week but already husband and i are feeling refreshed and refocused. i almost feel like i am flushing out all the bad and difficult things that have happened in the past little while and it feels good. shedding some skin perhaps. by the end of this trip i think i will have feel shiny and new, ready to take on whatever life has waiting for me when i get back to it.
i probably won´t be coming round here in the next couple of months, but i hope everyone is here when i get back. take good care everyone!


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

Hey ladies I am here and I just don't have enough time to try and read through all the back posts. I'm so busy lately. I'm trying to sleep train Corbyn to sleep in his own crib and just sleep with me in the mornings. So this is my very first day in doing that. I hope things will go well. As the weather gets warmer the days I have are getting filled right up. 4 of the 5 weekdays are filled up with activities. Saturdays we have the market and sunday's church once in the morning and once in the evening. Then in there I have to find time for crafts, time for myself and also time for everything else I need to do in my life.... UGH how the heck am I going to continue this I don't know... He's getting more active though.

Wish me luck on the sleep training though.


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Can I join? I have no mommy friends, and only a few real friends - everyone else I see seems to be more interested in my son than me







I've been trying to find meet-up groups near me but aren't having too much luck yet.

I'm also going to meet up with an MDC mama sometime soon once I get up the nerve to travel to manhattan by train/bus with me and baby Lincoln









I also think I might have ppd, which isn't helped by me being so far from my family right now. My boyfriend try's to be supportive but its hard since we're both in school and he has tons to do as the semester wraps up.


----------



## MittensKittens

Hi Thyra, welcome! How old is your baby? I know the feeling about people being more interested in your children, and it is hard to get used to. Especially if the interest is accompanied by judgement.







Does anyone else notice being taken less seriously professionally, once they have children?

Expat, great too hear you are having a wonderful time! Can you post some pictures







?

BaBaBa, I'll gladly share my experience of having two kids with you, ask away! I don't know what it is that you want to hear/know, but I can tell you that I think it is wonderful. Of course, it is a bit more of a hassle organize yourself when you want to go somewhere etc. Keeping the balance is important. My DD doesn't nap any more, so I literally have no time to myself, but she does play well by herself. I find I have some time on my hands now, because I used to have to meet deadlines, and I had a lot of work to do. Which is good I guess, since DD has reached the whiney nearly three year old stage now. My new baby is more high needs than DD was, but he is also an absolute delight. Very happy and outgoing - smiles at everyone







.


----------



## MittensKittens

Oh, and I am naturally disorganized and the type that works well only under pressure. But no, my house isn't a terrible mess (anymore!) and I cook from scratch every day.


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thyra* 
- everyone else I see seems to be more interested in my son than me









I know people are more interested in my daughters than in me. I just figure it's cause they're more interesting and so much cuter.


----------



## Mama2Rio

meeting one or two people, but a group, ugh.... it's just worse if I don't already know a single person there.

so i went to a meetup group thing at the library. it took me almost an hour to introduce myself. i sit and observe, i don't know why. i think i'm a walking freak-flag. i am a walking freak-flag.... and while observing, all I can think is "none of these babies are in cloth diapers! is that woman really giving her baby two bottles? Are they really complaining about breastfeeding and think formula is easier?" Wtf? Am I really that weird? And then i realize&#8230; "I'm the only one not wearing make-up?!" where does one with a baby find time every day to get makeup on? not that i have a problem with makeup, but am i the only 20-something that doesn't wear makeup?

okay, I can deal with being different than others, in fact, I embrace sub/counter-cultures. So I got over all this really quickly. Then I finally said "I just joined your group on-line, hi!" I really didn't know what to talk to them about the whole time. Then I was asked the typical, "what did you do before" question. And my answers are just strange&#8230; "I write, I mean I wrote a lot before&#8230; poetry and fiction&#8230; and I traveled&#8230;I worked in bookstores." And here was the funniest part "I have a bs in communications."

It just seems like it takes me forever to get comfortable in groups. I'm a mutable person, but I just can't handle myself in group situations. I just want a few friends, not these group activities to try to meet people. I'm so bad at this.

sorry for the long vent!


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mama2Rio* 
meeting one or two people, but a group, ugh.... it's just worse if I don't already know a single person there.

so i went to a meetup group thing at the library. it took me almost an hour to introduce myself. i sit and observe, i don't know why. i think i'm a walking freak-flag. i am a walking freak-flag.... and while observing, all I can think is "none of these babies are in cloth diapers! is that woman really giving her baby two bottles? Are they really complaining about breastfeeding and think formula is easier?" Wtf? Am I really that weird? And then i realize&#8230; "I'm the only one not wearing make-up?!" where does one with a baby find time every day to get makeup on? not that i have a problem with makeup, but am i the only 20-something that doesn't wear makeup?

okay, I can deal with being different than others, in fact, I embrace sub/counter-cultures. So I got over all this really quickly. Then I finally said "I just joined your group on-line, hi!" I really didn't know what to talk to them about the whole time. Then I was asked the typical, "what did you do before" question. And my answers are just strange&#8230; "I write, I mean I wrote a lot before&#8230; poetry and fiction&#8230; and I traveled&#8230;I worked in bookstores." And here was the funniest part "I have a bs in communications."

It just seems like it takes me forever to get comfortable in groups. I'm a mutable person, but I just can't handle myself in group situations. I just want a few friends, not these group activities to try to meet people. I'm so bad at this.

sorry for the long vent!

Nope you definately aren't the only one who doesn't wear make-up. I don't either and I will be 25 on the 30th.


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mama2Rio* 
meeting one or two people, but a group, ugh.... it's just worse if I don't already know a single person there.

so i went to a meetup group thing at the library. it took me almost an hour to introduce myself. i sit and observe, i don't know why. i think i'm a walking freak-flag. i am a walking freak-flag.... and while observing, all I can think is "none of these babies are in cloth diapers! is that woman really giving her baby two bottles? Are they really complaining about breastfeeding and think formula is easier?" Wtf? Am I really that weird? And then i realize&#8230; "I'm the only one not wearing make-up?!" where does one with a baby find time every day to get makeup on? not that i have a problem with makeup, but am i the only 20-something that doesn't wear makeup?

okay, I can deal with being different than others, in fact, I embrace sub/counter-cultures. So I got over all this really quickly. Then I finally said "I just joined your group on-line, hi!" I really didn't know what to talk to them about the whole time. Then I was asked the typical, "what did you do before" question. And my answers are just strange&#8230; "I write, I mean I wrote a lot before&#8230; poetry and fiction&#8230; and I traveled&#8230;I worked in bookstores." And here was the funniest part "I have a bs in communications."

It just seems like it takes me forever to get comfortable in groups. I'm a mutable person, but I just can't handle myself in group situations. I just want a few friends, not these group activities to try to meet people. I'm so bad at this.

sorry for the long vent!

I don't wear makeup, but I never really wore makeup much. It bugs me, not that it causes any problems, it's just the feel of it on my skin, knowing it's there makes me want to wipe it off. I think I wore it some in high school and once in a great, great while I've worn it for some special occassion. But then it expires and I have to throw it away, and I can't be bothered to buy something I'll only use once every couple years.

I am also an observer in groups and feel uncomfortable without simple, one on one interactions. [I'm 30 something.]

Oh, the irony, a bs in communications and you have trouble communicating in person. But I'm the same way. I can type lots here to you, a near stranger, but get me in front of you and I'd be blushing or stuttering, or laughing too much out of discomfort.


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Hi Thyra, welcome! How old is your baby? I know the feeling about people being more interested in your children, and it is hard to get used to. Especially if the interest is accompanied by judgement.










Thanks! Little Lincoln is 15 weeks old today







He laughed at me really good today too! I LOVED it!

He also refused to take a bottle and was super upset when I got home 5 minutes later







He was fine after nursing, but he's always taken a bottle before, so now I'm afraid to go anywhere b/c I need to make sure he eats!! thankfully I only have 2 more days that I have to go to school, but then I have work to do that will take several weeks this summer - and I don't know what to do if he won't eat when I'm gone!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mama2Rio* 

And then i realize&#8230; "I'm the only one not wearing make-up?!" where does one with a baby find time every day to get makeup on? not that i have a problem with makeup, but am i the only 20-something that doesn't wear makeup?

It just seems like it takes me forever to get comfortable in groups. I'm a mutable person, but I just can't handle myself in group situations. I just want a few friends, not these group activities to try to meet people. I'm so bad at this.


I'm the same way! And, I've always hated wearing makeup, and am actually TERRIBLE at putting it on! I'm 24 and can count the number of times I've worn makeup on 2 hands - and that includes prom, weddings, and other special occasions. I also take a long time to get comfy in groups, and would kind of rather not meet people at all - I've always been kind of a loner.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 
I know people are more interested in my daughters than in me. I just figure it's cause they're more interesting and so much cuter.

haha, Lincoln is definitely cuter and more interesting than I am!


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 
My cat died.

It is probably why I haven't posted much lately.









So sorry to hear.


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~D~* 
Thanks =)
My mom mentioned that to me so now I'm a little freaked out b/c we're moving to AZ in 6 weeks or so... Will sunscreen be enough protection, or will I need to limit her outside time??

I don't know. I took it, and needed to limit my time in the sun. I have fair skin. I would do some research. I see if I have any info in my books.


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## 106657

Hello mamas. This has been a good week. My kids enjoyed the time off of school. We just took it easy, hung around here and caught up on some much needed sleep. Tomorrow they are back to school. I have mixed feelings about that, but it will be summer vacation soon. I hope everyone had a great weekend. I hope the weather was wonderful where you are. Talk to you all tomorrow.


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Hello mamas. This has been a good week. My kids enjoyed the time off of school. We just took it easy, hung around here and caught up on some much needed sleep. Tomorrow they are back to school. I have mixed feelings about that, but it will be summer vacation soon. I hope everyone had a great weekend. I hope the weather was wonderful where you are. Talk to you all tomorrow.

Glad you had a good week, and what a shame the break came to an end. Have you got any plans for the summer vacation?

Thyra, I love your LOs name!

About the makeup thing, I used to wear lots, and expensive makeup, for work before I had kids. Pretty much if it exists, I used to put it on. Not now though. And you know what? To be perfectly honest, when I look at pictures from before, I actually think I look better now. And of course, I am a good couple of years older now. What does bug me a bit is hair. I used to have nice, very long hair. I cut it at some point, and am now growing it again. I have no time and money to look after it. I have found something new though, called soapnuts. They are nuts that naturally produce soap. You can wash your hair with them, but also put them in the washing machine instead of detergent, and wash the floor with them too. They are great, and so very cheap! My hair is becoming so much softer with them.


----------



## 106657

Morning mamas. Well the kids are on the bus. This house is so quiet. No plans for summer, we stick close to home. My kids would love to go to Florida and visit all their friends, but I have too many animals to leave for that type of vacation.

I have seen soapnuts at my coop, but haven't tried them. They looked cool though.


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## Super~Single~Mama

soapnuts sound interesting - I'm going to have to check that out!


----------



## BaBaBa

expat - that sounds positively dreamy...ENJOY! and don't think about us at all







Do come and visit us when you get back. Spring has sprung and it's 27C today!!!

KNK - I hear ya on the sleep training. I still sleep with DD but only recently night weaned. (she's almost 2.5). I feel so much better now but it was rough. Unfortunately, it's still next to impossible to sneak away early in the morning.
GOOD LUCK!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thyra* 
Can I join? I have no mommy friends, and only a few real friends - everyone else I see seems to be more interested in my son than me







I've been trying to find meet-up groups near me but aren't having too much luck yet.

I'm also going to meet up with an MDC mama sometime soon once I get up the nerve to travel to manhattan by train/bus with me and baby Lincoln









I also think I might have ppd, which isn't helped by me being so far from my family right now. My boyfriend try's to be supportive but its hard since we're both in school and he has tons to do as the semester wraps up.









thyra
tell us a bit about yourself. What are you studying in school?

SHOOT! DD's up! back later .......


----------



## Mama2Rio

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
What does bug me a bit is hair. I used to have nice, very long hair. I cut it at some point, and am now growing it again. I have no time and money to look after it. I have found something new though, called soapnuts. They are nuts that naturally produce soap. You can wash your hair with them, but also put them in the washing machine instead of detergent, and wash the floor with them too. They are great, and so very cheap! My hair is becoming so much softer with them.

i'm always chopping bits of my hair, i just have this kind of problem where i like to cut my hair.... constantly. i think about every other day i'm cutting a piece here and another there... i think it was because my grandfather was a barber (actually barbers going back 4 generations!). while i was preggo, i had a rule about not cutting it though. i went a year because i wanted to wait until i felt like myself again before i cut it. dd likes to play with my hair while nursing, so i've been leaving it a bit longer. i think i'm going to just have 2 braids from the back of my head and keep them long then chop the hair around it, dd would love braids to play with.

Ooohhh i love soapnuts, but i can only get them on line, haven't seen them in any stores. I've only had a few once, and i just used them in the laundry with dd's diapers, i didn't realize you could wash your hair! that is soo cool!


----------



## libranbutterfly

I had not heard of these before. Thanks for sharing.


----------



## BaBaBa

MK, its not having time or space to myself that really breaks me down. I NEED alone time to thrive. If I don't get it regularly I become quite miserable. That's really my primary struggle.
You don't have any help or relief?!?!
I never thought I'd say this, but, seeing the effect constant 'mothering' has had on me, I might consider a nanny if we had another one.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
and I cook from scratch every day.











Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mama2Rio* 
so i went to a meetup group thing at the library. it took me almost an hour to introduce myself. i sit and observe, i don't know why. i think i'm a walking freak-flag. i am a walking freak-flag.... and while observing, all I can think is "none of these babies are in cloth diapers! is that woman really giving her baby two bottles? Are they really complaining about breastfeeding and think formula is easier?" Wtf? Am I really that weird? And then i realize&#8230; "I'm the only one not wearing make-up?!" where does one with a baby find time every day to get makeup on? not that i have a problem with makeup, but am i the only 20-something that doesn't wear makeup?

It just seems like it takes me forever to get comfortable in groups. I'm a mutable person, but I just can't handle myself in group situations. I just want a few friends, not these group activities to try to meet people. I'm so bad at this.


me too!!! Don't sweat it







. Embrace who you are.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 
I don't wear makeup, but I never really wore makeup much. It bugs me, not that it causes any problems, it's just the feel of it on my skin, knowing it's there makes me want to wipe it off. But then it expires and I have to throw it away, and I can't be bothered to buy something I'll only use once every couple years.


ugh! make up does feel gross. Plus, you have to worry about checking it all day. Back when I was working, my boss, (a man) asked me for a mirror and couldn't believe I didn't carry one.

I used to have tons of it and now I couldn't even find an eyeliner at Hallowe'en to draw whiskers on DD.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
What does bug me a bit is hair. I used to have nice, very long hair. I cut it at some point, and am now growing it again. I have no time and money to look after it. I have found something new though, called soapnuts. They are nuts that naturally produce soap. You can wash your hair with them, but also put them in the washing machine instead of detergent, and wash the floor with them too. They are great, and so very cheap! My hair is becoming so much softer with them.

Since DD was born I've only managed to get my hair cut about once a year. Good thing I guess, because I go to DH's guy in Toronto and he's really expensive. I'd love to cut it all off. My fantasy hair is Mia Farrow's do in Rosemary's Baby. I had major hair problems today. I washed it yesterday evening. I didn't have time to comb it before I had a shower and then we quickly had supper so I didn't have time to come it then either. I just scrunched it up, wet, to deal with it later. Ended up going to bed with it wet, uncombed and mid morning finally got around to it. I went through a ton of leave in conditioner trying to comb out all the rats nests.

I bought Soap Nut a few weeks ago! I wouldn't have if I had looked at the price first. They were $18.15 for a box of 30 sachets







I've only used them in the dishwasher so far and they did an ok job but you can't really reuse the packs. Now, I'm coveting them because they were so darn expensive. I may use them as an insecticide in the garden. They have so many uses.. .it's crazy.

I'm a Dr. Bronner's girl anyhow









Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mama2Rio* 
i'm always chopping bits of my hair, i just have this kind of problem where i like to cut my hair.... constantly. i think about every other day i'm cutting a piece here and another there...

i think i'm going to just have 2 braids from the back of my head and keep them long then chop the hair around it, dd would love braids to play with.


I had a few weird compulsions with my hair when I was a teen. I was obsessed with finding split ends and pulling them apart. I also had a pet rabbit that would eat the hair on the top of my head and as it grew back in it was like a mini mohawk. freaky.

Braids is definitely the way to go.


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

BAbaba- Well the first 3 nights went splendidly lets hope it continues to go well.


----------



## BaBaBa

That's awesome!! What are you doing?

Herewearetogether ...... I miss you!


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
I bought Soap Nut a few weeks ago! I wouldn't have if I had looked at the price first. They were $18.15 for a box of 30 sachets







I've only used them in the dishwasher so far and they did an ok job but you can't really reuse the packs. Now, I'm coveting them because they were so darn expensive. I may use them as an insecticide in the garden. They have so many uses.. .it's crazy.

Oops - I paid $10 for a kilo! You do know that they don't dissolve fats, right? I think they are great but do have their limits. They smell pretty good,I think. I've put the soapnut tea in with a little shampoo so it will lather, and some lavender oil. That works great!

I totally get on on the alone time I NEED time alone as well. My kids are different though. I sometimes have foul moods and snap at DD, but as soon as I feel it coming on we just go outside for a long walk, or to the mall if it is raining or something, and then I feel great again. Yesterday I took DS out of his podaegi and he kept on sleeping, so DD and I had dinner together with baby in another room. I kept thinking how quiet it was, and that this was how I used to feel before DS was born - like there was something missing. He was missing!







Our family feels complete now, although I am open to the idea of another baby at some point. Eh... after the recession passes.







:

Redveg, I know what you mean about not being able to go anywhere with animals, we used to have goats, chickens, eh... a dog, a few cats, ferrets (I love those!) and I can't remember what else when I was a kid. Before the goats arrived, my mom had a veg garden too (see the connection?







) It does mean you can't really go away. I don't really care for vacations much anyway, do you?


----------



## 106657

Morning all. It is going to be HOT here today. I am trying to water as much as I can before the sun hits my gardens. I have all the animals out early this morning, and I have a meeting to go to. I would love to skip it, but I don't have a good excuse, and can't bring myself to make one up.


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
That's awesome!! What are you doing?

Herewearetogether ...... I miss you!









I just put his favorite breastfeeding pillow in his crib with him so he feels snuggly and cuddly... So far its working.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Oops - I paid $10 for a kilo! You do know that they don't dissolve fats, right? I think they are great but do have their limits. They smell pretty good,I think. I've put the soapnut tea in with a little shampoo so it will lather, and some lavender oil. That works great!

I totally get on on the alone time I NEED time alone as well. My kids are different though. I sometimes have foul moods and snap at DD, but as soon as I feel it coming on we just go outside for a long walk, or to the mall if it is raining or something, and then I feel great again. Yesterday I took DS out of his podaegi and he kept on sleeping, so DD and I had dinner together with baby in another room. I kept thinking how quiet it was, and that this was how I used to feel before DS was born - like there was something missing. He was missing!







Our family feels complete now, although I am open to the idea of another baby at some point. Eh... after the recession passes.







:

Redveg, I know what you mean about not being able to go anywhere with animals, we used to have goats, chickens, eh... a dog, a few cats, ferrets (I love those!) and I can't remember what else when I was a kid. Before the goats arrived, my mom had a veg garden too (see the connection?







) It does mean you can't really go away. I don't really care for vacations much anyway, do you?

I didn't know that they don't dissolve fats... what's the significance?









You're right about going outside. That is the best cure for all of those bottled up frustrations. It was 25C here yesterday and we spent so much time outside, discovering flowers, bugs, snakes, splashing barefoot in the puddles. I think we'll be doing a lot of that this summer. I'm planning on homeschooling using the Charlotte Mason method and that's all about being outside for the first 6 years.

The animals keep us anchored as well. Mostly, I like that because I'm a homebody and hate staying over at the inlaws but I am dying for a vacation!!! We're planning a trip to the Channel Islands in a couple of years when DD will be old enough to get more out of the trip.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Morning all. It is going to be HOT here today. I am trying to water as much as I can before the sun hits my gardens. I have all the animals out early this morning, and I have a meeting to go to. I would love to skip it, but I don't have a good excuse, and can't bring myself to make one up.

We had our hot day yesterday. It's cold and rainy today. DD and I are both getting pretty frustrated... I think we'll just have to go out and play in the rain after lunch. MIL is coming over in the late afternoon and staying the night. I have mixed feelings about it... I just don't feel like company right now. But, she will take DD out for a few hours tomorrow so I will get my alone time







:







:







:







:







:







: It will give me an opportunity to measure my 'new' horse for a girth. I've been working with her as often as I can and I can't wait to start riding again.


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 








thyra
tell us a bit about yourself. What are you studying in school?

SHOOT! DD's up! back later .......

Hi! Thanks!

Hmm...about me? Well, I grew up in Seattle (LOVE the rain!! and the Mountains!). I'm a law student in Queens, NY - hate law school! I moved here to go to school, and then planned on moving back to Seattle to find a man and get married and have a family...and well....that didn't happen! I met a man here, who I liked, and then got pregnant on accident, and well, not we have a 3.5month old baby who is perfect! I'm taking classes part time right now - so I don't know when I'll finish school. I don't really know where my life is going after school - but hopefully its to a place that has mountains and lots of hiking nearby!

NYC is too big, I really don't like it. I miss being able to get away from the crowds!


----------



## BaBaBa

West coast and east coast personalities are so different aren't they?
It's the sam in Canada with people from BC and the rest of the country.
You have a lot on your plate! holy cow! But it also seems balanced.
That sucks that you don't enjoy law school. Maybe you could go into enviromental law?


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
West coast and east coast personalities are so different aren't they?
It's the sam in Canada with people from BC and the rest of the country.
You have a lot on your plate! holy cow! But it also seems balanced.
That sucks that you don't enjoy law school. Maybe you could go into enviromental law?

Balanced?? Really? I feel like I'm a mom all the time and don't get breaks! It doesn't help that Lincoln has decided that bottles are evil and screams if anyone so much as offers him one!

Oh man, the personalities of the different coasts is amazing - my BF doesn't believe me but I can't really blame him since he's never lived anywhere but NY and DC. I've thought about environmental law, and may end up doing that eventually. I'm really looking forward to this semester ending though (only one more class!!!) so I can just be mom for a while. Now that the weather is getting warmer I'm starting to wonder how I'll survive this summer since I'm a such a cold weather person - I've always hated hot humid weather even though I was born in a place where the weather was hot and almost unbearable!

What are people doing for the summer? Any fun vacation plans?
I'm going to my best friends wedding in the San Juan Islands (the ones in WA state) in June and then taking a vacation in August to visit my parents for a few weeks and to introduce my BF to Seattle!


----------



## zonapellucida

think I need some friendly interaction becasue right now I am not getting any. Can ppd start 9 months after birth?


----------



## Mama2Rio

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thyra* 
NYC is too big, I really don't like it. I miss being able to get away from the crowds!

i grew up 45 mins from NYC... and i'm so happy to be far away!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
West coast and east coast personalities are so different aren't they?

Yes! so true! i moved to the southwest to slow down a bit. But i miss all the traveling i use do do before dd was born, and now i'm not working so i can't justify spending what i don't have! NE was cold, and i think it got to alot of peoples bones, knwim? not that every one there is mean, but people just seem more welcoming where i live now.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zonapellucida* 
think I need some friendly interaction becasue right now I am not getting any. Can ppd start 9 months after birth?

it might be that you just realized you've mostly been spending most of your time with your lo! you probably need more adult interaction. but i had depression before dd was born and didn't really have depression again until a few months ago, i think i was just so busy at first, i had no me time and i really wasn't thinking about myself, the world, ect... my focus was my baby and that's it.


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
We had our hot day yesterday. It's cold and rainy today. DD and I are both getting pretty frustrated... I think we'll just have to go out and play in the rain after lunch. MIL is coming over in the late afternoon and staying the night. I have mixed feelings about it... I just don't feel like company right now. But, she will take DD out for a few hours tomorrow so I will get my alone time







:







:







:








:







:







: It will give me an opportunity to measure my 'new' horse for a girth. I've been working with her as often as I can and I can't wait to start riding again.

New horse? That's great. My DD wants a horse. Might get her one next year. I have to get outside everyday, even if it's only for a few minutes or I get cranky!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thyra* 
but hopefully its to a place that has mountains and lots of hiking nearby!

NYC is too big, I really don't like it. I miss being able to get away from the crowds!

NYC is too big. I feel it's a nice place to visit, but live in the city? There are a lot of beautiful rural areas in NY. Up state is wonderful, and there are some small college towns that are relaxed, calm and move to a different pace.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
West coast and east coast personalities are so different aren't they?
It's the sam in Canada with people from BC and the rest of the country.

I am an east coast girl, who has a west coast personality. I think it is because I am from a vacation state, Florida. I spent my youth hanging on the beach, playing paddleball, skating, just chillin. Now I am up in the Northeast, and people here are different, but I live in a small town in the mountains, by a lake. Lots of hiking, and most people move at a slower pace.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thyra* 
What are people doing for the summer? Any fun vacation plans?
I'm going to my best friends wedding in the San Juan Islands (the ones in WA state) in June and then taking a vacation in August to visit my parents for a few weeks and to introduce my BF to Seattle!

I am hanging close to home. I am such a homebody. Working in the garden, spending as much time outside as I can.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zonapellucida* 
think I need some friendly interaction becasue right now I am not getting any. Can ppd start 9 months after birth?

I had ppd for over 18 months, and it didn't start until my guys were 6 months. I feel for you. If you need to talk I'm here.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thyra* 
Balanced?? Really? I feel like I'm a mom all the time and don't get breaks! It doesn't help that Lincoln has decided that bottles are evil and screams if anyone so much as offers him one!


I think every mom of a little one feels like they're a mom all the time. What I meant by balanced is that school allows you (or maybe it doesn't right now?) to have moments to still feel like an autonomous human being. Before DD was born and while she was still very young I judged mothers who chose to work outside the home. I couldn't understand how they could 'abandon' their children . But here I am 2.5 years later admitting to the world I was wrong. We're not all made that way and I now understand how some women NEED a life outside their children to be the best person, the best mother they can be.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mama2Rio* 
i grew up 45 mins from NYC... and i'm so happy to be far away!


The city is a great place to visit but I could never live in one again. I love my country life







:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
New horse? That's great. My DD wants a horse. Might get her one next year. I have to get outside everyday, even if it's only for a few minutes or I get cranky!


Well she'd not really new... I got her 2 years ago as a companion for my old horse but I've been to busy to get to know her. I'm determined to start riding again I just think she's the safer horse to ride now so I'm just trying to bond with her until I can get all the tack to fit her.

Does your DD ride? Could you keep the horse at home?

MIL has taken DD out for the morning


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

Well all I just registered for school for my criminology diploma hopefully I can find a daycare now.


----------



## BaBaBa

That's great! Full time or part time?

So we have a lawyer and a criminologist here .... hmmm....


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

fulltime studies. I hope to become a CSI or work in a prision


----------



## BaBaBa

and your favourite TV show is..... ?


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

Any of the Law and orders actually lol. especially SVU


----------



## MittensKittens

Re soapnuts - the fact they don't dissolve fats means they are actually not much good for dishwashing, if you use any oil etc in your cooking.

I like law and order too! I don't watch much tv at all, but when I do it is always crime series


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~kitnkaboodle~* 
Any of the Law and orders actually lol. especially SVU









I thought you were going to say CSI!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Re soapnuts - the fact they don't dissolve fats means they are actually not much good for dishwashing, if you use any oil etc in your cooking.

I like law and order too! I don't watch much tv at all, but when I do it is always crime series










AAAAAAAH! That explains a few things... I wonder if I can use Dr. Bronners in the dishwasher? My Borax, baking soda, salt mix has been letting me down lately. Dr. Bronners, I know, dissolves fats.

What TV shows to they have in Serbia?

Ernala? Ernala? Helllloooo Ernala? We miss you!


----------



## Cascia

I have lots of friends but the problem for me is that I moved across the country last year and all my friends are back home. The only conversations I have are with my three year old and 21 month old during the day until my 12 year old comes home from school and my husband comes home from work. We live in a tiny little house in a rough neighborhood so I feel trapped some days. It is hard to make new friends after you move.


----------



## BaBaBa

Hi Cascia!

You're always welcome here!


----------



## Cascia

Thanks! I am really enjoying this forum.


----------



## BaBaBa

It is a fun forum.

RedVeg has been on longer than me but I find it really interesting how people fade in and out of it...

Is that your blog in your siggy?

(I'm very chatty today as MIL is away with DD)


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
I think every mom of a little one feels like they're a mom all the time. What I meant by balanced is that school allows you (or maybe it doesn't right now?) to have moments to still feel like an autonomous human being. Before DD was born and while she was still very young I judged mothers who chose to work outside the home. I couldn't understand how they could 'abandon' their children . But here I am 2.5 years later admitting to the world I was wrong. We're not all made that way and I now understand how some women NEED a life outside their children to be the best person, the best mother they can be.


School unfortunately isn't really allowing me any autonomy right now - I only have one class, and I'm a TA in another so I'm home most of the time. I am getting better about getting out, but since Lincoln has decided that he hates the bottle I'm going to get out less. It will get better in the fall when I have a 12 credit class that requires alot of time away from home - Lincoln will be in daycare so that will make it interesting.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~kitnkaboodle~* 
Well all I just registered for school for my criminology diploma hopefully I can find a daycare now.

I have my undergraduate degree in Criminal Justice! Criminology is pretty cool...although I didn't really pay attention much







:


----------



## MittensKittens

Hey mamas!

BBB, I agree with you on people fading in and out of this thread, and I've noticed some come here in "dark moments of loneliness". However, I think there are some fun women here and I see it more as a chat thread, as do the other people who come all the time, I suppose. Most of you are here longer than I am, but the people from the beginning of the thread are mostly no longer here.

I'm having some issues right now. I don't really want to go into details over the internet, but please send some good vibes my way!


----------



## ernalala

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
but please send some good vibes my way!

Done!

This must be hard to deal with... and I must say it could be equally so where I am living now.


----------



## ernalala

Well, I subscribed to this thread. But we're just more outside lately, or I'm more on other threads when onlne, and acually not anything new under the sun to share. Maybe feeling less lonely somehow even though nothing 'changed', and enjoying the alone time I get . I'll have my sister and family over soon and I'm soooooo looking forward to, our gras is finally growing in the garden and my imported rhubard is still alive, just enjoying the little things of life where I see them (besides complaining about my kids's tough behaviours







).
Making another 'Eve' for my niece's birthday, hope she'll like it, too.


----------



## 106657

Cascia-welcome.
MittensKittens-sending you good vibes!

Morning all. This is the thread I check first every morning. There were a few months I was off the computer because I felt I wasn't making any connections in my life. I got out there and put in the effort, but found that the people I met were/are living their own lives and I just didn't fit in. Some days it's hard because I feel chatty, but only have myself and my animals to talk to until later in the afternoon. I think it has to do with the stages in life, I am getting ready to send my kids to college in a few years and most people I know have little ones. Oh well. Today is going to be beautiful. Going to get out in the garden early. Hope everyone has a good day.


----------



## MittensKittens

Thanks for the vibes folks - lawyer is an excellent guy, and I now think everything will be just fine.







:


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thyra* 
I have my undergraduate degree in Criminal Justice! Criminology is pretty cool...although I didn't really pay attention much







:

That's awesome. I hoped to one day be a criminal profiler that meets with the inmates in prison and report on if I think they are ready to get sent home or to a half way house for parole. Criminal Justice has always interested me. I'm one of those people that could sit for hours just reading a true crime novel.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 

I think there are some fun women here and I see it more as a chat thread, as do the other people who come all the time, I suppose.

definitely!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 

I'm having some issues right now. I don't really want to go into details over the internet, but please send some good vibes my way!

That sounds like a frustrating, bordering on absurd situation
















:







:







:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~kitnkaboodle~* 
I hoped to one day be a criminal profiler that meets with the inmates in prison and report on if I think they are ready to get sent home or to a half way house for parole. Criminal Justice has always interested me. I'm one of those people that could sit for hours just reading a true crime novel.

Okay, I'm picturing you as Jodie Foster in Silence of the Lambs









I haven't really the stomach for crime stories but I read about a bizarre case from Poland that blew my mind. It's had international coverage so maybe you've heard about it. In a nutshell, an unsolved murder case is reopened when a detective reads a bestselling novel about a brutal murder just like the unsolved case. The author ends up getting arrested. It's really a 'perfect crime' story and it's apparently not over yet.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/new...cle2224874.ece


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~kitnkaboodle~* 
That's awesome. I hoped to one day be a criminal profiler that meets with the inmates in prison and report on if I think they are ready to get sent home or to a half way house for parole. Criminal Justice has always interested me. I'm one of those people that could sit for hours just reading a true crime novel.

I can read true crime novels all day! Have you read "The Stranger Beside Me" by Ann Rule? It was so good I couldn't put it down!


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Hey mamas!

BBB, I agree with you on people fading in and out of this thread, and I've noticed some come here in "dark moments of loneliness". However, I think there are some fun women here and I see it more as a chat thread, as do the other people who come all the time, I suppose. Most of you are here longer than I am, but the people from the beginning of the thread are mostly no longer here.

I'm having some issues right now. I don't really want to go into details over the internet, but please send some good vibes my way!

Good vibes coming right up! I hope things get resolved soon!!


----------



## abiyhayil

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Hi and welcome! I get you about being on the fringe, and I think most of us here do. You'll find some "friends" here! I see you are expecting another little one - congrats!







:









thanks mama, I just finished up my nursing classes so hopefully I will be able to keep up with you gals!


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thyra* 
I can read true crime novels all day! Have you read "The Stranger Beside Me" by Ann Rule? It was so good I couldn't put it down!

nope but now I am curious about it... I'm going to go look for it.

My birthday was today and my boyfriend made me a winnie the pooh cake because I love winnie the pooh so much.


----------



## Mama2Rio

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thyra* 
I can read true crime novels all day! Have you read "The Stranger Beside Me" by Ann Rule? It was so good I couldn't put it down!

that's a great one! i have to look up the author of a book i think is called "the girl in the box" it was really twisted, i read it a few years ago. i'm into true crime, but i actually read a lot of mystery novels and well, just about anything that falls into my lap. right now, i'm reading thomas wolfe, i love my "trashy" mystery novels but every once in a while to read some real literature (i hope i don't sound like a book snob for saying that).


----------



## 106657

Happy belated Birthday kitnkaboodle.

Morning mamas, it's raining and windy here today. My garden needs it so it's not so bad. No plans for this weekend just hanging out with the family, working in the yard. Anyone doing anything?


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~kitnkaboodle~* 
nope but now I am curious about it... I'm going to go look for it.

My birthday was today and my boyfriend made me a winnie the pooh cake because I love winnie the pooh so much.

Happy Birthday! I like winnie the pooh too! Thats awesome that your BF is creative enough to make something that creative!

The Stranger Beside Me is about Ted Bundy, he and Ann Rule worked together at a suicide hotline - thats what makes the book so interesting, it was written by his friend!


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Hey ~kitnkaboodle~ I just remembered another one! "Defending Gary" is also an amazing book - its written by the Green River Killers defense attorney about representing him. Its truly fascinating!


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~kitnkaboodle~* 
My birthday was today and my boyfriend made me a winnie the pooh cake because I love winnie the pooh so much.









:

That is soooo sweet! He actually made it himself?!?! Can you share any pics?

Is it the Disney Pooh or the A A Milne Pooh or all things Pooh? DD loves the poems at the back of her Pooh treasury.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mama2Rio* 
i'm into true crime, but i actually read a lot of mystery novels and well, just about anything that falls into my lap. right now, i'm reading thomas wolfe, i love my "trashy" mystery novels but every once in a while to read some real literature (i hope i don't sound like a book snob for saying that).

That's ok, go back a few months ago and you'll see there's a few of us 'book snobs' here









Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Anyone doing anything?

nah. DH is bringing home some stuff from Ikea tonight so I guess it'll just be us 3 and the Allan key.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thyra* 
The Stranger Beside Me is about Ted Bundy, he and Ann Rule worked together at a suicide hotline - thats what makes the book so interesting, it was written by his friend!

*shudder*


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 

*shudder*

I know - its super creepy that a suicide hotline person would turn out to be a horrible serial killer - but the book is so so so good!!!


----------



## BaBaBa

you must be following the Craigslist murder case closely?

I head the guy dressed as a mammogram machine for Hallowe'en one year.


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
you must be following the Craigslist murder case closely?

I head the guy dressed as a mammogram machine for Hallowe'en one year.

Unfortunately pregnancy has destroyed my ability to tolerate anything even slightly creepy, so I haven't followed the craigslist murder case at all







:

Thats an unnerving Halloween costume though!


----------



## ernalala

Help. I just came to realise that BF means BOYfriend not BESTfriend??? For the record, whenever I've been using BF I meant BEST friend (my 'best girlfriends') and whenever I use bf this means breastfeeding of course.


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ernalala* 
Help. I just came to realise that BF means BOYfriend not BESTfriend??? For the record, whenever I've been using BF I meant BEST friend (my 'best girlfriends') and whenever I use bf this means breastfeeding of course.

You make me laugh







... I am pretty oblivious of internet abbreviations as well, especially when there is a different meaning between two identical abbreviations, one of which is capitalized and the other isn't. If "BF" if bofriend, what does "EBF" or "EXTBF" mean?


----------



## MittensKittens

Testing new siggy







. People kept calling me Kaya, so I decided to clarify


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ernalala* 
Help. I just came to realise that BF means BOYfriend not BESTfriend??? For the record, whenever I've been using BF I meant BEST friend (my 'best girlfriends') and whenever I use bf this means breastfeeding of course.










Here on MDC the first thing thing that comes to mind when I see BF would be breastfeeding. When it's clear by the context of the sentence they're talking about a person I don't really make the mental leap while I'm reading. I just think of the person as 'BF'. I'm with you though, seeing BF standing alone makes me think best friend as in BFF (best friend forever duh!)

but of course, if you DO have a boyfriend, no need to keep it from us









Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Testing new siggy







. People kept calling me Kaya, so I decided to clarify









I had noticed that







:
For the record, I had found it perfectly clear that that was your daughters name, not yours.


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

Thanks all for the bday wishes... BABABA its all things pooh I love lol...


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~kitnkaboodle~* 
Thanks all for the bday wishes... BABABA its all things pooh I love lol...

My DD loved Pooh as well! Lately, I have been cosleeping with not just two kids but a huge pooh bear as well







.

BBB, thanks, glad you understood, that I am not really a mom born in August 2006, of a son born in December 2008...







. YK, when I first came on MDC I was rather concerned about privacy and now I just think, I don't care if people know who I am IRL. I wouldn't really like my family to come on here and read comments, but if they do, well... they do.

What are other mamas' views on being recognized from MDC, and about privacy issues?


----------



## BaBaBa

Oh I dunno... I'm a very private person but I open up a bit here. I sometimes have this weird existential experience where I feel that I am not the person expressed in by the sum of my posts.














o you have any idea what I mean by that?
I guess I don't really care. If some one is 'spying' on me, well shame on them! Actually, I guess I'd be flattered that they found me that interesting


----------



## BaBaBa

I woke up this morning to the news of the Kentucky Derby winner. Mine that Bird was a 50 - 1 long shot. A plain little gelding bought for $ 9 500 who pulled up on Derby day in a trailer pulled by an old pick up truck. He won by 18 lengths!!! It was truly amazing.


----------



## 106657

Morning mamas. Well I went out last night and had a bit too much to drink!! I feel horrible! I am going to hide out at home for a while, not that I don't do that already. First time in public drunk, this is bad!


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Oh I dunno... I'm a very private person but I open up a bit here. I sometimes have this weird existential experience where I feel that I am not the person expressed in by the sum of my posts.














o you have any idea what I mean by that?


----------



## Mama2Rio

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Morning mamas. Well I went out last night and had a bit too much to drink!! I feel horrible! I am going to hide out at home for a while, not that I don't do that already. First time in public drunk, this is bad!


drink some orange juice, the vit c will make you feel much better, trust me







since i was preggo, i haven't really drank, i use to, a lot, maybe too much. you could tell when i put the bottle down for a few weeks when i'd start to loose a lot of weight. booze was the only way i could keep meat on my bones... after having rio, it's just not coming off... oh well. i don't miss feeling sick the next day!


----------



## ernalala

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Oh I dunno... I'm a very private person but I open up a bit here. I sometimes have this weird existential experience where I feel that I am not the person expressed in by the sum of my posts.














o you have any idea what I mean by that?

You bet







.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
I guess I don't really care. If some one is 'spying' on me, well shame on them! Actually, I guess I'd be flattered that they found me that interesting









Well sometimes I feel a bit awkward. But I do not think someone will actually 'find' me here, or if they do, that they would want to read every single thing I've posted. I do think the fact that I'm not posting in my mother tongue has to do with it (even this meaning there's actually many more millions of people in the world understanding my writing lol). My ILs actually don't understand a word of English, or of the ones who do, their English is not as good as mine, some even do not know how to read or write and most are not online much and I could not imagine what they would be doing on MDC lol.

Dh and I communicate mostly in English, and he knows my username and all and actually I set MDC as standard page without password access. He could easily have access here. He might not agree on some things I've been 'openly' writing about here, there's things he doesn't really know that I've been experiencing which I'm writing about here but not things that need to be secret either (just personal stuff) but I do believe it's my privacy and my descision and when I write about someone else I always am discreet and I will not mention other people's names not even in my sig and I seriously try not to come and vent about particular persons (but yes, maybe just things someone had said but apart from that relationship) because that does not feel right to me.

And my BF ('boyfriend') and male BF (best friend) are actually my DH so I wouldn't want anyone to misunderstand lol.

EBF could be eternal best friend, EXTBF might be ex-temporary-best friend whatever lol.
Does ebf actually exist in sense of 'breastfeeding bf' and what does it mean? Oh wait: e for 'exclusive'? And is it more viscous in 'extbf' as 'exterminating bf' lol last one joking but sth to do with anti-'breastfeeding-maffia'-movements? I also sure hope there's not a thing as 'eternal breastfeeding' (ebf) in the meaning of a one on one mother-offspring relationship... It would be sufficient for my child to self-wean somewhere between 3-6







.


----------



## ernalala

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Morning mamas. Well I went out last night and had a bit too much to drink!! I feel horrible! I am going to hide out at home for a while, not that I don't do that already. First time in public drunk, this is bad!

Tell me, WHAT does this feel like







.

I can count on one hand 'all' the glasses I've had since I became first pregnant, and that's been almost 6 years. And the drunk-once-in-a-while thing is only something from my late teens/very early twenties.

I guess that by now 2 glasses must certainly knock me down and definitely just one glass of superstrong Belgian dark beer lol.
Not that I miss it that much.


----------



## ernalala

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Testing new siggy







. People kept calling me Kaya, so I decided to clarify









'Kaya' means 'rock' in Turkish. I believe it's sometimes used as a first name for boys here (and hear me think: why not girls, but you have a girl named 'kaya'







) and it definitely is a local last name. What is the meaning attached to your daughter's name if I may ask?

For the note, both of my sons have names that could be defined as 'unisex': one is more often used as a girl's name, locally, but is rarely used for boys too, and is extremely rare in a wprldwide perspective; while the first name of my second is rare in both of our cultures but the name and its meaning, in all it's countless (spelling) variations exist widely, both historically and wordly speaking, and it has been spelled/exists in countless variations for boys and girls, it is rare and common at the same time







.


----------



## MittensKittens

Ernalala, ebf means exclusive breastfeeding, you got it... and extbf is sometimes used for for extended breastfeeding. Do you know that "breastfeeding" actually comes up as red on my spell check? (I have check as you type spell check on safari)... Is it breast feeding, which two words? That doesn't seem right to me.

Kaya is a local abbreviation for Katarina, which is a version of Cathrin, which is the name of my fave aunt. My aunt was having some serious health problems when DD was born. So she is basically named after my aunt. I wanted something short, pronounceable, and something that would be relatively international. Sasha didn't have a name for a month! When I finally decided on Sasha, it still took some time to get used to it. Now I love his name, though. Even if we do move on to another country at some point, my kids' connection to Serbia is strong enough by birth. So I like the fact they have names which are local.


----------



## MittensKittens

And I am curious as to where you are from.... I don't want to step into your personal space by guessing or asking







. You saying millions more people understand your writing leaves like one option for me though


----------



## MittensKittens

Anyone else here use Apple? I love Apple, and couldn't imagine working with a windows computer.... BUT when something needs to be replaced it is so expensive. I was just about to fork out $200 for a new power adaptor for my laptop, which I think is a lot for what is essentially no more than an electric wire. I've just found out that Apple is replacing these for free because they were made with a mistake, though... Yay for saving $200!







:


----------



## 106657

Morning All. Mama2Rio, I did drink some oj. I feel much better. I wasn't fall down drunk, but I haven't had a buzz like that in public since, I don't remember when maybe 15 years? I was just embarrassed.


----------



## 106657

I am an Apple user!! Love my MAC.


----------



## 106657

For me on the spying issue. I live in a small town and people would talk. I try to only write about things I would talk about in public. I don't think most of the people who are in my town would be on here, but you never know. The only thing that would cause a stir I think is my Pagan ways. I think that the saddest part for me is not having a place where I can be 100% honest, ever.


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
For me on the spying issue. I live in a small town and people would talk. I try to only write about things I would talk about in public. I don't think most of the people who are in my town would be on here, but you never know. The only thing that would cause a stir I think is my Pagan ways. I think that the saddest part for me is not having a place where I can be 100% honest, ever.

Perhaps they _should_ be on here. 'they might learn something







.


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
I am an Apple user!! Love my MAC.

Oh yeah, that is the other thing about Apple... when they need to replace something, it can take a looooong time. So, now I am waiting for this free cable, and I might have to miss my macbook for a few months. No more surfing in bed


----------



## ernalala

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
... and extbf is sometimes used for for extended breastfeeding.

It's been in my siggy for ages 

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Do you know that "breastfeeding" actually comes up as red on my spell check? (I have check as you type spell check on safari)... Is it breast feeding, which two words? That doesn't seem right to me.

I think it most likely has to do with 'breast' more than with feeding lol. Puritans!








I know of someone who had sites/searches with words like 'Sussex' not accesible because of filtering/censorship in his country of residence.


----------



## ernalala

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
And I am curious as to where you are from.... I don't want to step into your personal space by guessing or asking







. You saying millions more people understand your writing leaves like one option for me though









I'm sure you guess wrong!








My mother tongue in its pure variation is probably spoken by 20-25 million maximum, worldwide (''spoken by over 22 million people as a native language, and about 5 million people as a second language''), and they are definitely not all of age, online, or attending forums like mdc, in English







? I only 'met' one from my home country on MDC, and none of my country of residence so far (not very likely I ever will either?), and there must be a maximum of 70 million people speaking this country's language worldwide.
Anyway, not really a secret, I think I mentioned it often enough, but now I just like to make you buuuurn with curiosity.


----------



## MittensKittens

Haha, I AM burning with curiosity now. I was wrong, based on your additional info







. About not meeting people from your country of residence on MDC - you might be surprised. I have actually met TWO from Serbia, one IRL!


----------



## ernalala

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Haha, I AM burning with curiosity now. I was wrong, based on your additional info







. About not meeting people from your country of residence on MDC - you might be surprised. I have actually met TWO from Serbia, one IRL!

I wonder:locals or immigrants/expats like you?

I actually did 'meet' an expat in Turkey mom here, but not a real local. There are some international sites where you can meet loads of them though .


----------



## 106657

Morning mamas. Looking cloudy here this morning. I have two down feeling ill.

I only had one problem with my MAC, and they fixed it right away.


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ernalala* 
I wonder:locals or immigrants/expats like you?

I actually did 'meet' an expat in Turkey mom here, but not a real local. There are some international sites where you can meet loads of them though .

One local, and one Serbian expat living in India, who is coming back soon. Come to think of it, I should send her a message. It is interesting to see that they look at the culture in such a different ay, especially after being expats. For instance, I complain about Serbia being anti-woman, and this woman says "Really? I never noticed that! India is very anti-woman!"

My DD is having some issues with peeing in her pants right now. And she just did it AGAIN, so I am off to get her in the shower...


----------



## ernalala

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
My DD is having some issues with peeing in her pants right now. And she just did it AGAIN, so I am off to get her in the shower...

This morning when *I* had my shower ds 2 of 3 entered the bathroom stating 'kaka', without his pyjama trousers, holding his poop filled diaper in his hand and having &&%%& smeared on clothes, and the soles of his feat smeared in poop, too. I just got out of the tub and wasn't dressed yet and it was freezing cold in the bathroom. I was not very happy. I asked him where he took it off, kitchen or living room, he said living room. I thought this can't be true! I used wet wipes as emergency cleaner and got him dressed and went down to check out the disaster. Checking for poop footsteps on the way down. Luckily the lr door was locked so it happened in the kitchen. I found poop on his stepstool, the kitchen drawer, counter, his breakfast plate, then headed to the toilet and found more on the floor, math, wall, and a large amount of foam in the toilet. I flushed the toilet and suprised by the weird sucking sound I realised he must have either used lots of toilet paper or wet wipes to try and clean his own mess and I just flushed it down again oh help. I truly hope the toilet won't get clogged as well! I had strange deja vus from the times he'd taken his full poop diapers off in his cot bed to play with when I had a shower or when he was supposedly napping (and quiet . THAT was a 'pretty good start of the day'... I hope he got it now that he should keep his diaper on when he comes and tell me, or otherwise start to tell me when he must go so we can start potty learning (but I seriously doubt it). A big issue that bothers me around my son has been his 'frequent and challenging poop history' and the related butt wipe resistance, and the smell yikes







. I guess some of you are at breakfast now, bon appetit







.


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ernalala* 
This morning when *I* had my shower ds 2 of 3 entered the bathroom stating 'kaka', without his pyjama trousers, holding his poop filled diaper in his hand and having &&%%& smeared on clothes, and the soles of his feat smeared in poop, too. I just got out of the tub and wasn't dressed yet and it was freezing cold in the bathroom. I was not very happy. I asked him where he took it off, kitchen or living room, he said living room. I thought this can't be true! I used wet wipes as emergency cleaner and got him dressed and went down to check out the disaster. Checking for poop footsteps on the way down. Luckily the lr door was locked so it happened in the kitchen. I found poop on his stepstool, the kitchen drawer, counter, his breakfast plate, then headed to the toilet and found more on the floor, math, wall, and a large amount of foam in the toilet. I flushed the toilet and suprised by the weird sucking sound I realised he must have either used lots of toilet paper or wet wipes to try and clean his own mess and I just flushed it down again oh help. I truly hope the toilet won't get clogged as well! I had strange deja vus from the times he'd taken his full poop diapers off in his cot bed to play with when I had a shower or when he was supposedly napping (and quiet . THAT was a 'pretty good start of the day'... I hope he got it now that he should keep his diaper on when he comes and tell me, or otherwise start to tell me when he must go so we can start potty learning (but I seriously doubt it). A big issue that bothers me around my son has been his 'frequent and challenging poop history' and the related butt wipe resistance, and the smell yikes







. I guess some of you are at breakfast now, bon appetit







.

Kaka is the Serbian word for poo as well. I have to admit to rather having pee problems than poo problems









OOPS, it must be some bad karma connected to this thread! Just as I'm typing this, DD just peed on the floor yet again. I am wondering WHY SHE IS DOING THAT?

Eh... Is your native language Portuguese? It's not Chinese, not Spanish, and not French. Just guessing now


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Kaka is the Serbian word for poo as well. I have to admit to rather having pee problems than poo problems









OOPS, it must be some bad karma connected to this thread! Just as I'm typing this, DD just peed on the floor yet again. I am wondering WHY SHE IS DOING THAT?









:

Ah, the memories. Abigail went through a terrible poop painting stage.







: She recovered after a few months. She has stood in the room with me, without any warning, and peed on the floor while looking at me. Hahahaha. Sophia has no concept really of using a toilet. For over a year, she's requested to use it. She will sit on it then ask for paper to wipe, without having actually gone pee or poop on the toilet.







If she's all nakey, and needs to pee, will request I put a diaper on her, but will not pee on the toilet. Will she ever learn?


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ernalala* 
This morning when *I* had my shower ds 2 of 3 entered the bathroom stating 'kaka', without his pyjama trousers, holding his poop filled diaper in his hand and having &&%%& smeared on clothes, and the soles of his feat smeared in poop, too. I just got out of the tub and wasn't dressed yet and it was freezing cold in the bathroom. I was not very happy. I asked him where he took it off, kitchen or living room, he said living room. I thought this can't be true! I used wet wipes as emergency cleaner and got him dressed and went down to check out the disaster. Checking for poop footsteps on the way down. Luckily the lr door was locked so it happened in the kitchen. I found poop on his stepstool, the kitchen drawer, counter, his breakfast plate, then headed to the toilet and found more on the floor, math, wall, and a large amount of foam in the toilet. I flushed the toilet and suprised by the weird sucking sound I realised he must have either used lots of toilet paper or wet wipes to try and clean his own mess and I just flushed it down again oh help. I truly hope the toilet won't get clogged as well! I had strange deja vus from the times he'd taken his full poop diapers off in his cot bed to play with when I had a shower or when he was supposedly napping (and quiet . THAT was a 'pretty good start of the day'... I hope he got it now that he should keep his diaper on when he comes and tell me, or otherwise start to tell me when he must go so we can start potty learning (but I seriously doubt it). A big issue that bothers me around my son has been his 'frequent and challenging poop history' and the related butt wipe resistance, and the smell yikes







. I guess some of you are at breakfast now, bon appetit







.

I'm so not excited for this to happen to me!

Also, I'm a mac user too, I had a Dell when i started law school, and well it needed to be replaced within a few months, and then the replacement died. Stupid Vista - I got my money back after arguing with a bunch of people and bought a mac. Ugh.


----------



## Cascia

Yes in case any of you are wondering that is my blog in my siggie. I am the editor.


----------



## Cascia

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Cascia-welcome.

Thank you for the warm welcome. I am starting to figure out how this forum works now. It seems like the only adult conversations I've been having lately are online.


----------



## 106657

Morning mamas. I am so glad to be over the poop/pee stage. The memories of it make me laugh though. I still have 2 kids home sick. The weather here is raining, but it's amazing how green things are in only 2 days.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Morning mamas. Well I went out last night and had a bit too much to drink!! I feel horrible! I am going to hide out at home for a while, not that I don't do that already. First time in public drunk, this is bad!










Hope you're feeling better by now and your reputation is back in good standing









Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Anyone else here use Apple? I love Apple, and couldn't imagine working with a windows computer....

Another Mac person here








My first computer was a PC but in my 'previous' life in the film industry everyone used Macs so I made the switch and I haven't looked back since. It's really frustrating to me to see how my computer skills have declined since I stopped working. Plus, the technology moves so fast....I really feel left behind. I've gone back to paper and pencil for my calendar, lists.... etc.
All I use it for now is email, chat and www.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
I think that the saddest part for me is not having a place where I can be 100% honest, ever.

Yes! I would love to keep a diary but the fear of someone reading it stops me. my parents and my brother read my private writings when I was a kid and it utterly devastated me. I'm still angry about it.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ernalala* 
. A big issue that bothers me around my son has been his 'frequent and challenging poop history' and the related butt wipe resistance, and the smell yikes







. I guess some of you are at breakfast now, bon appetit







.

uke

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 
If she's all nakey, and needs to pee, will request I put a diaper on her, but will not pee on the toilet. Will she ever learn?









:
I was so mad at DD one day because she kept peeing the floor when she knows better. I shouted at her and said 'Go to the potty to pee. Don't you understand?!?!' and she said 'no, i don't understand'







I felt soooo bad for losing my temper.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cascia* 
Yes in case any of you are wondering that is my blog in my siggie. I am the editor.

Wow! That's a big project. How do you manage?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
I still have 2 kids home sick.

Sending healing vibes







:

Had a wonderful weekend with DH but he's gone now and won't be back until next week.







I'm really bummed about it this time. I don't now why.

My Dad came over for a visit yesterday. He means well but it always ends up stressful and exhausting for me. I made my first (and hopefully last) call to poison control yesterday. While my Dad was supposed to be watching DD she ate his medication.







It wasn't in it's proper container, he couldn't remember what it was or how many were in there.







:
Everything was turned out fine but the whole ordeal just wiped me out for the day.


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 

My Dad came over for a visit yesterday. He means well but it always ends up stressful and exhausting for me. I made my first (and hopefully last) call to poison control yesterday. While my Dad was supposed to be watching DD she ate his medication.







It wasn't in it's proper container, he couldn't remember what it was or how many were in there.







:
Everything was turned out fine but the whole ordeal just wiped me out for the day.

I'm glad everything turned out fine! It reminds of when my grandma was visiting us once when I was in college, she left her medication on the table while she ate (I don't know why she didn't just get it out after she ate) and my cat started playing with it. We didn't know what it was, my mom thought it was tylenol, we called the vet and he freaked out! He told us to get the cat there immediately - that he might die - I was so scared! I know it doesn't compare to ones child, but I love my cat.

ETA - my cat was fine, but we still don't have a clue what he ate! And after learning that tylenol can kill cats in about 10 minutes we got rid of all of it - I'll never keep tylenol in my home ever again!


----------



## BaBaBa

oh it's totally lethal for cats!
I used to work at a vet clinic. I'll always remember the little old lady who brought in her cat a few days after she accidently cut the tip of his ear off. She couldn't understand why it didn't reattach after she taped it back on.









But yeah. In my experience, seniors can be very irresponsible with their meds. my mum got into real trouble self medicating and hoarding before she died.


----------



## BaBaBa

... and you should never take tylenol for a hangover.

Did you catch that, RedVeg?


----------



## ernalala

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Eh... Is your native language Portuguese? It's not Chinese, not Spanish, and not French. Just guessing now









No.


----------



## ernalala

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
uke

Never saw this one actually used before!


----------



## 106657

Morning all. Hey BaBaBa, how are you? I keep a journal, but I burn it after a year. I too have had my thoughts read by an ex. Well all the kids are at school today, the question is for how long? Raining here, again and it's very dark outside.

Tylenol for a hangover, me never! I believe in the hair of the dog. (not really)

How scary about the meds. I would have been in a panic. I am so glad everything is good.


----------



## BaBaBa

Ernala, you really started something with your poop post! DD had the worst diarrhea I had ever seen in her pants yesterday. uke So unusual! Actually, it was probably my dad's meds going through her.









Just feeling totally burnt out this week with five more days until DH comes home. I'm constantly tired. I can't keep up with the housework or cooking. I actually bought some ready meals yesterday which I haven't done in more years than I can remember. I feel like I'm hanging on by a thread.







:


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Ernala, you really started something with your poop post! DD had the worst diarrhea I had ever seen in her pants yesterday. uke So unusual! Actually, it was probably my dad's meds going through her.









Just feeling totally burnt out this week with five more days until DH comes home. I'm constantly tired. I can't keep up with the housework or cooking. I actually bought some ready meals yesterday which I haven't done in more years than I can remember. I feel like I'm hanging on by a thread.







:

Diarrhea sucks - no matter the reason, its gross and it sucks!

I'm sorry you're feeling so burnt out, I've had days like that! If it makes you feel any better we've been eating take-out (last night it was italian - I got pizza!), and lots of mac and cheese! I can't wait till BF is done with finals!

And, what is with annoying landlords? We met ours a few weeks ago (she lives in VA) and then yesterday she emails me to ask if I would take pictures of the bathroom down stairs and send them to her - does she think I don't have enough to do with the baby???? Seriously, I know they just got it remodeled and she wants to know what it looks like - but her daughter, who manages the place, can do that! I told her I have too much else going on.


----------



## ernalala

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
I feel like I'm hanging on by a thread.







:

THIS thread








Only 5 more days before you got adult company again ...
Me 2 more nights, 1 day, too
I'm actually enjoying it because the weather is nice, but it shouldn't last more than a week (and in fact it never did, luckily). (And I cross my fngers, since last time dh was away our car got stolen on the first night







.


----------



## faithsstuff

hey all, been lurking and hangin out. I went to DH office dinner last night and there was a mom with a baby a mth older than mine. It was wonderful. THere were other adults. THere was wine. Other ppl wanted to hold the baby. So while I enjoyed last night I'm realizing how lonely I am. I went the whole evening without use my ear piercing baby voice, and damn it was nice. So I decided to bite the bullet, put on a bra and go to a coffee shop with the baby expecting to at least see another post-pubescent individual. The brakes in the car went out...lol, you ever have those moments in life that really illustrate your state of being? THat's what I had. So, sorry to pop in, but I just wanted to feel noticed for a sec
peace
faith


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *faithsstuff* 
I went the whole evening without use my ear piercing baby voice, and damn it was nice.

?? ear piercing baby voice ?? what's that?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *faithsstuff* 
So I decided to bite the bullet, put on a bra and go to a coffee shop with the baby expecting to at least see another post-pubescent individual.
faith


and that is why I don't like going out. I feel obligated to wear a bra.


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 
and that is why I don't like going out. I feel obligated to wear a bra.











You make me laugh!

BBB, how is DD doing?

Expa, whee ae you.

Oh, WH!!





















As you can see fom my yping, I have a poblem wih one lee on my keyboad no woking. I acually poued coffee ove i... i is wo lee, acually. DO YOU SILL GE WHA I AM WIING?? I am eally pissed, I guess I will go ou and buy a new keyboad. Wow, ha sucks. No moe messages on MDC oday! HAHA.


----------



## 106657

Morning mamas. I am so glad it's Friday.

BaBaBa-How are you feeling? I hope the next 5 days go by quickly for you.

Any special plans for the weekend? A neighbor down the road is having a party, invited me, well my family, there are going to be a lot of people there. I am having a hard time working myself up to it. I hate crowds!


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ernalala* 
THIS thread








Only 5 more days before you got adult company again ...

That's not exactly true. I did go to playgroup yesterday and I'll be seeing my in laws on Sunday.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *faithsstuff* 
hey all, been lurking and hangin out. I went to DH office dinner last night and there was a mom with a baby a mth older than mine.

Was she the wife/partner of DH's coworker? Maybe you can get together with her?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 

and that is why I don't like going out. I feel obligated to wear a bra.

Really?!?! I hate NOT wearing a bra.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 

BBB, how is DD doing?

Expa, whee ae you.

Oh, WH!!





















As you can see fom my yping, I have a poblem wih one lee on my keyboad no woking. I acually poued coffee ove i... i is wo lee, acually. DO YOU SILL GE WHA I AM WIING?? I am eally pissed, I guess I will go ou and buy a new keyboad. Wow, ha sucks. No moe messages on MDC oday! HAHA.

Woke up this morning optimistic about a new day. Honestly though, I think I wake up that way every morning but something smacks me down half way through the day. Hmmm... I wonder if it's hormones, diet... or something else?

I think Expat's enjoying greener pastures in Guatamala.... sigh*

... and I like your new typing style. I'm pretending I'm a secret agent trying to crack a code









Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Any special plans for the weekend? A neighbor down the road is having a party, invited me, well my family, there are going to be a lot of people there. I am having a hard time working myself up to it. I hate crowds!

Mother's Day lunch with the inlaws.

I'm with you though. I have a really hard time with crowds. I leave totally exhausted.

Had an awful thunder storm last night. shudder*
If I make Asparagus soup and clean the kitchen floor today I will be more than pleased with myself.

MK, RV and any other veggie mamas here I might be unaware of... Any ideas on quick (or mostly unattended) easy everyday meal ideas I can add to my repetoire?
Here's the things I regularly make in a pinch (too often







):

pasta with tomato sauce
pizza
grilled cheese
quesidillas
leek & potato soup
potato hash
bean burritos
squash or sweet potato casseroles
avocado cheddar tomato sandwiches


----------



## BaBaBa

asparugus soup sucks


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
MK, RV and any other veggie mamas here I might be unaware of... Any ideas on quick (or mostly unattended) easy everyday meal ideas I can add to my repetoire?

There is a monthly what's for dinner thread under vegetarian living, or whatever they call that section of MDC, and I go on there for inspiration quite a lot. I mostly cook Asian food myself, including Korean, Thai, Chinese... I have been experimenting lots with foods though, and the thread I mentioned is nice for that. Here it is if you want to have a look.

Mother's day lunch with the inlaws sounds horrific. Unless you like your inlaws, of course. Are you looking forward to the lunch?


----------



## ernalala

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
My Dad came over for a visit yesterday. He means well but it always ends up stressful and exhausting for me. I made my first (and hopefully last) call to poison control yesterday. While my Dad was supposed to be watching DD she ate his medication.







It wasn't in it's proper container, he couldn't remember what it was or how many were in there.







:Everything was turned out fine but the whole ordeal just wiped me out for the day.

THAT'S what usually stresses me out when ILs are over. They are simple (in the true meaning), well-meaning people and they've never done or said anything 'wrong' towards me. But apart from the very different culture, language barriers etc., it's their constant unawareness of what is safe around little children 'in the modern world' that makes me uncomfortable, and therefore guilty for feeling this way around the grandparents of my children







.

The thing which always freaks me out first is MIL putting her handbag down somewhere in our living room, on the floor, or the couch. You must know they would often stay for 2 weeks (sometimes more) so NO I'm not planning to have this bag full of strong life-threathening (well, for sure in high doses and for children) medications even slightly accesible to little hands (actually not even for an hour). One time, actually, they were only here for 1h or so, 3 adults in the room + our two kids, all chit-chatting and I went into the room, and I was the first, and the only one who would notice that ds had opened the bag and already a strip of meds in his hand! It freaked me out totally. So, 'sorry', MIL, but the FİRST thing I do when you enter our home after welcoming you, is checking where you left your bag and meds and pıt those far out of reach of my children, and I2ll tell you where I put them. Thing is, that every time I have to do this myself, and I may have to do it multiple times during the stay-over. Some people just seem to think that there is some magical curtain protecting curious children from overdosing on danherous, stray pills that most likely look like interesting little 'Smarties' to most kids...
The thing is... FIL leaves his jacket just EVERYwhere, and mostly in the lr too. And he's taking different kind of meds too. And I am petty uncomfortable hanging his jacket in the hallway every time.
And people taking their meds out before dinner only to pıt it on the table to take during or after dinner freaks me out evenly...
MIL is also illiterate so a lot of what she learns is from dependency of what others tel her. Therefore I feel that she often doesn't understand consequences or reasons of things to a full extent. That's pretty clear to me when she keeps on asking the same questions to different people where she still didn't 'get' the information she received on it more than once already.

All of the above are reasons why I'm pretty stressed when visiting my ILs in their environment; I just need to be even MORE vigilant about our very hyperactive ever-exploring children over there because the environment, and mentality is so NOT child proof.
Dh has the same experience, btw so it's not 'paranoia originating from me coming from this other culture'-lol.
We both realise that it IS pretty relaxed to have my own parents over, because they have the same kind of mind-set and vigilance around child safety, it's such a bliss. Therefore, I can trust my mom and dad to watch my child for me, but not MIL and definitely not FIL (parents of 8!).


----------



## Mama2Rio

i've always wondered why IL and parents make us so stressed! i hope i don't do that to my own children! my father drives me nuts... he always has to say what he thinks is "best" for every one, which ALWAYS goes against my lifestyle. he means well, but... ugh... we always end up getting into an argument... in some ways, i'm so happy i live accross the country from my family, so i only have to get REALLY stressed a few times a year.

any way, i'm really excited i'm going to see one of my friends who lives 2 hrs way. i haven't seen her in over a year, so she's never seen dd before! her daughter is turning 3 this month, so she's having a party and i'm just happy to see some one who i get along with and i don't think is a complete moron when it comes to parenting and child treatment.

i've been busy chasing dd, she's really walking now... 10 months and ahhh! she started about a month ago, but now she's really going...


----------



## 106657

When I am in a hurry I make veggie tacos! It's too easy. Tonight I made a dish with tomatoes, garlic, cilantro, peppers, rice & veggie chicken for us girls, and regular chicken for the boys. Everyone loved it.


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 

Any special plans for the weekend? A neighbor down the road is having a party, invited me, well my family, there are going to be a lot of people there. I am having a hard time working myself up to it. I hate crowds!

Not really. The LLL meeting is today, but I don't know if I want to go. Me and my BF are fighting more than I ever thought possible right now, so I'm kinda not wanting to do anything other than lie in bed. Ugh, I hate feeling like that. Too bad its my fault we're fighting.

Tomorrow is mothers day, and I have to admit I'm not looking forward to it. We're going to the IL's for dinner, and its going to be crazy since it will be the first time in several months that everyone will be there. BF's sisters have been in Italy for a while and they're back now. I'm not excited - its really just too many people for me to handle all at once, and they always argue and bicker the whole time. They also see the need to stick their faces in Lincoln's when he gets upset - so I'm holding an upset baby, and theres 3 or 4 people sticking their faces right up to him! And then they wonder why he's getting more upset









This is shaping up to be a bad weekend.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
There is a monthly what's for dinner thread under vegetarian living, or whatever they call that section of MDC, and I go on there for inspiration quite a lot. I mostly cook Asian food myself, including Korean, Thai, Chinese... I have been experimenting lots with foods though, and the thread I mentioned is nice for that. Here it is if you want to have a look.

Mother's day lunch with the inlaws sounds horrific. Unless you like your inlaws, of course. Are you looking forward to the lunch?

I have seen that thread before but I haven't found what I'm looking for. I have tons of cook books with great recipes and I do regularly make new things. I'm looking for things that I don't need to follow a recipe, more improvisational ideas. For example, brown rice with shredded raw beets and carrots with tahini sauce and chopped parsley. Thats something I used to make all the time, I guess I forgot about it. I'll need to reintroduce it.

I love Asian food. DH is experimenting a lot with it lately. My main problem with it is that I live in a rural area and many of the ingredients are not available. Although.... I could make kimchi. That's always great to have on hand.

My inlaws are actually amazing! I couldn't be luckier in that department. If I ever complain about them it's my own pettiness or selfishness to blame. They invited me because they knew I'd be alone and I think they're making a special trip (2 hours) just to take me out.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *ernalala* 
THAT'S what usually stresses me out when ILs are over. They are simple (in the true meaning), well-meaning people and they've never done or said anything 'wrong' towards me. But apart from the very different culture, language barriers etc., it's their constant unawareness of what is safe around little children 'in the modern world' that makes me uncomfortable, and therefore guilty for feeling this way around the grandparents of my children







.


I can TOTALLY relate! Ugh! Except in my case it's my Dad. Earlier that same day he gave her a battery to play with because she asked for it







. I don't know how I ever managed to reach maturity.









It's hard to be relaxed and sociable because I'm always on 'high alert'. I end up getting short and snippy and then I feel guilty for being rude. It would be best if he came to visit while DH was here so I could have a second set of eyes.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mama2Rio* 
any way, i'm really excited i'm going to see one of my friends who lives 2 hrs way. i haven't seen her in over a year, so she's never seen dd before! her daughter is turning 3 this month, so she's having a party and i'm just happy to see some one who i get along with and i don't think is a complete moron when it comes to parenting and child treatment.

I hope you have a great time!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
When I am in a hurry I make veggie tacos! It's too easy. Tonight I made a dish with tomatoes, garlic, cilantro, peppers, rice & veggie chicken for us girls, and regular chicken for the boys.

...mmmmm....I love anything with cilantro

What's in the tacos?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thyra* 

This is shaping up to be a bad weekend.











Hang in there

Maybe going to LLL will take your mind off things for a bit.

DD and I were already at each others throats by 8:30 AM I can't wait until she's a teen!








Nothing a little outside time couldn't fix. Nothing like splashing in puddles in the pouring rain to get the 'angries' out.

Shane? Shane? Where have you gone?


----------



## alekslasce

Hi!!!
I'm Aleks and I'm a loner and SO and I are basically friendless (well not basically, we are friendless) now that we live in Mexico.
Mother's Day is tomorrow







. But it's going to be really boring becuase of the stupid rules on restaurants in Mexico City becuase of the stupid Flu thing, ugh everything is booked and we don't have any plans. But probably SO prepared something for me and DD gave me her presents today. All of her cute drawings and a little card she made herself with her cute "handwritting" aww these are the stuff I cherish









We went to Chapultepec's Park this morning with DD. Poor kid she was bored to no end over all this deal. So it was nice to see her running around and giggling. DD is taking a nap so I can finally lurk around the oh so wonderful MDC.
Woow, this is the first Mother's Day I spend away from my mum.


----------



## BaBaBa

Hi Aleks!
Your DD is the same age as mine.
I hear ya on the boring Mothers Day but I certainly can't imagine what you have to deal with all that flu craziness.


----------



## alekslasce

Hey there!!!
DD is turning 3 in July, it's kinda scary.

We did go out even with this "emergency" situation. Actually, I was able to do my grocery shopping in peace. Everything was basically empty. But I HATED it.


----------



## MittensKittens

Morning mamas! Hope you will all have a good week!

Hi Aleks, welcome! My DD turns three in August. I was watching some videos from her from last year, and realized how much she has grown up and changed. Amazing, really. And time really flies.

How do you like being an expat? Lots of us here on this thread are living in other countries, and if you are a bit of an introvert that is going to leave you friendless pretty easily. What is Mexico like generally?


----------



## MittensKittens

Oh, BaBaBa, do you know how to make kimchi? I don't, except the one with cucumber, and most store versions have fish in them in one form or another







. You could make veg bulgogi, bibimbap (yeah, mixed rice!)... I get the spices sent to me from Korea, and I am really grateful for them (I get Indian spices from there as well). Where I live, there are basically NO spices. Pretty depressing, really. Oh, Sag Aloo is also something quick I like to make, and you can make your own naan bread pretty easily (I like garlic naan). How quick is quick? How much time do you want to spend on making dinner? I'll give you some suggestions. Oh, savory muffins are nice too... And I do lots of different pancakes as well... I am a bit of a foody, so I cook lots. The stuff I like just isn't available in the store, so there is just one way to access it - by making it myself.


----------



## 106657

Morning mamas.

Welcome Aleks.

I hope everyone had a great weekend. It was good here. Sunday was beautiful weather. We hung close to home, sat on the porch and watched the hummingbirds.

Tacos- We put any and everything in them. If it's in the house and can be stuffed in a shell, or put in a lettuce leaf, it's game!


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alekslasce* 
. Everything was basically empty. But I HATED it.

Do you think it's hysteria or a legitimate concern? It's hard to tell here because the news tends to sensationalize the topic rather than dealing with the facts. They love winding people up and getting them scared









Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Oh, BaBaBa, do you know how to make kimchi?

The recipe I have is from Mark Bittman's How to cook Everything Vegetarian. It's quite good but not as good as the kimchi DH's Korean's friend mum used to make







.
Toronto has a Little India and a China town as well as several excellent ethnic markets so DH can pick up pantry items when he's there. But the fresh produce, herbs etc selection is pathetic out here. We're right in the middle of beef country here. We also have one of the highest obesity rates in the province. hmmm.....



redveg;13743986 and watched the hummingbirds.
[/QUOTE said:


> :
> 
> Yay! We'll be their next stop. I've got to get the feeders out and some oranges for the orioles.
> 
> This morning I picked the first of our asparagus, and found some morels. With some fresh eggs from the hens DH will have a lovely lunch when he gets home today!


----------



## BaBaBa

MK, I meant to give you this link

http://books.google.com/books?id=gNA...afari#PPA96,M1


----------



## alekslasce

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 

Hi Aleks, welcome! My DD turns three in August. I was watching some videos from her from last year, and realized how much she has grown up and changed. Amazing, really. And time really flies.

How do you like being an expat? Lots of us here on this thread are living in other countries, and if you are a bit of an introvert that is going to leave you friendless pretty easily. What is Mexico like generally?

Hello!!!
Oh yeah I know time flies, I remember when she was a little baby, or when she couldn't even talk. But I have to say, i'm enjoying toddler Ingrid more. She's more fun, she's just so talkative and smart. But she's also really shy, but that's her personality. She obviously inherit it from SO and I









I really miss the UK, even though people say I should miss Spain( where i grew up). But I really don't. I met SO in England and we lived there the happiest moments of our lives. I got used to it and liked it. And then they offered SO a job here. And he accepted it. People are nice, but I mean, I don't really have any friends here. Unleast back in England I attended a Natural Parenting group two times a week. And here I don't have that.
The wives of SO's co workers and his female co workers have tired to include me. But we have lots of differences and I just don't feel comfortable. They must think I'm a snob









Well, Mexico City is HUUUUUGE. But it has it's advantages, it's a city full of history and culture that I can show DD. I love to go to the different parks and museums with DD. Today for example, we went to Bellas Artes. I've planned to take her last week but it was closed for most of the day








There's a big multicultural community here. It has it's downsides, the pay is horrible. Don't make me start about the traffic.
I haven't visited near by towns, we are doing that during the summer though.

Quote:

Do you think it's hysteria or a legitimate concern? It's hard to tell here because the news tends to sensationalize the topic rather than dealing with the facts. They love winding people up and getting them scared

Well, it was really concerning at first. When they said that hundreds of people were dying of a new virus. And all of a sudden they closed restaurants, theaters, schools, etc. And they adviced us to stay at home, and to wear masks if going out. During that time, I was really freaking out. And we stayed at home during the first two days. But then it started getting really weird. Obama came to the country days before all of this started. Lots of people think it was all planned. Some people even say that the virus was made by humans lol. I don't really think that's true. But it seems pretty weird.

The health system here is not bad as many peole think, it's actually more accessible than in the US as it's Universal healthcare, and attention is available. Mexico is not behind in medical care, I can assure you that. And Mexico does not have hygiene problems as many think it has. This is a very urbanized city. It's not any worse than Barcelona (my home city). or New York.

DD was getting bored inside, and she cried becuase she wanted to play outside. As we live in a very small apartment, she doesnt have lots of space here. So yeah, we actually went out and about. With masks of course, that didn't last long. It was really hot for wearing those things. And besides they're not useful at all.
And here we are healthy as ever nothing happened









They overreacted with all of this.

I've never eaten veggie tacos. I don't even eat tacos for that matter







I made a veggies soup today, DD loves it.
Today at the park, this woman told me that I should let DD be a kid







Just becuase I didn't wanted her to eat junk in the streets UGHHHH.
Why can't people understand that eating junk is not a part of childhood.


----------



## BaBaBa

Wow alekslasce! You are well travelled!

I can't chat today. I have a lot of housework to catch up on and DH is home but I know what you mean about the junk food









You confirmed my suspicions about the swine flu hullaballo.

And wait...living in Mexico and don't eat tacos?!?!








DH and I have been on a huge Mexican kick for a couple of months now. We found a great Mexican restaurant in Toronto. It's hard to find quality, authentic Mexican food.


----------



## 106657

Hello mamas. Today I spent the day outside. My little pig, YodaMae was loving the sunshine and laying in the grass. She snored so loud it just made me laugh. Tonight I made a veggie dish for a meeting I had to attend, it went over ok.

Aleks, I was just talking to someone today that also lived in England, and misses it so much. By the way I love the name Ingrid, it close to my name.

Veggie Tacos are yummy! I really love when the have avacado, or papaya in them.


----------



## alekslasce

Naah, I'm not well travelled, i've never been to the US







Actually this is my first time out of Europe.

Nah, I'm not a taco lover. The best part of the tacos are the tortillas, I love corn tortillas, DD can't get enough of them. My favorite part of Mexico is it's food. It's delicious. I love making quesadillas with real Mexican tortillas and real Mexican cheese. I can go on forever lol.

Thanks redveg







. I've always liked the name Ingrid and it was such a weird thing when SO told me that he always wanted to have a little girl with that name.

I think i'm making some veggie tacos one day.


----------



## MittensKittens

Thanks for the link BaBaBa, that is great!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Hello mamas. Today I spent the day outside. My little pig, YodaMae was loving the sunshine and laying in the grass. She snored so loud it just made me laugh. Tonight I made a veggie dish for a meeting I had to attend, it went over ok.

That sounds wondeful! I really miss having a garden to enjoy the nice weather in! What kind of pig have you got? Do you have other animals? I love goats, I'd like to have one again one day. As a kid, I had a goat called Cathy that I used to take for walks, like you would a dog. She was wonderful, very social. We also had another goat, who I swear was evil! She used to head-but people and the other goat all the time... everyone was afraid of her, including the dog. She was given to us by a family who didn't want her anymore, so who knows what they did to her to make her that way...


----------



## MittensKittens

Thyra, did you go to the LLL meeting in the end?


----------



## MittensKittens

Yay! Got the new power adaptor for my laptop so I can be lazy and surf from bed again


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Hello mamas. Today I spent the day outside. My little pig, YodaMae was loving the sunshine and laying in the grass. She snored so loud it just made me laugh. Tonight I made a veggie dish for a meeting I had to attend, it went over ok.

Veggie Tacos are yummy! I really love when the have avacado, or papaya in them.

I love watching the animals sunbathe. Does your YodaMae have a mudhole?

I'm making Veggie tacos next week!.. They have TVP in them which I guess is one of those 'no-no' foods but I seldom eat it.

I made tofu burritos the other night. It's a recipe I used to make years ago and i revisited. I could make it from memory now but still too much prep (chopping vegetables, grinding spices, preparing condiments) to make it one of my 'go to' dishes. DD just likes the plain tortillas anyhow


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
I love goats, I'd like to have one again one day. As a kid, I had a goat called Cathy that I used to take for walks, like you would a dog. She was wonderful, very social. We also had another goat, who I swear was evil! She used to head-but people and the other goat all the time... everyone was afraid of her, including the dog. She was given to us by a family who didn't want her anymore, so who knows what they did to her to make her that way...

I have a Boer goat. He's 2 years old and his name is Duddy. They make great pets. Now that the weather is nice we take him for a walk every morning. He doesn't really need a rope because he stays close. We originally got him thinking he would be a good companion for the horses. The horses, who are deeply attached to each other couldn't care less about him







I thought I could tether him around the property to clean up some of the brush but he gets lonely and cries and cries until I take pity on him and put him back in the pasture.

Did you grow up on a farm?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Yay! Got the new power adaptor for my laptop so I can be lazy and surf from bed again
















Ahhhhhh! I'm surfing from bed right now.







I've been known to surf from the bathroom









Going back to the swine flu thing, I was living in Toronto when SARS hit. I remember watching the coverage on CNN and seeing pedestrians in the background wearing masks. I never, ever saw anyone on the streets wearing masks!!! and I lived and worked right down town around all the hospitals. I couldn't help feeling it was a set up. I'm not saying that CNN had actors or put masks on people but I think they purposely filmed those people, (who were definitely the exception, rather than the norm) to sensationalize the story. I do not trust the media one bit


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Thyra, did you go to the LLL meeting in the end?

No, I was exhausted from Friday. My uncle came into town for a little while and is really high maintenance and gave me tons of unwanted parenting advice. Then I had some fun and went to dinner with a few good friends - Lincoln's first time going to a restaurant! So, saturday morning I was super tired and cranky since Lincoln didn't sleep well friday night. Oh well.

Mothers day was great though! My BF framed my favorite picture of Lincoln and I for me, made me pancakes and then we went to my IL's for dinner.

Welcome alekslasce! I haven't been on this thread for long, but everyone's really nice as you're learning!

Ok, so I need some new recipes!! They have to be cheap though, and easily made for one person since my BF is the pickiest eater in the entire world and will only eat chicken, ham or turkey, pb&j, hard boiled eggs, pasta and cereal. He HATES tomatoes. But I LOVE food, and all kinds of different things and I'm getting really bored with our diet right now. Plus I'm starting to feel like I'm not getting everything I need from it since I'm not a big vitamin/supplement person although I do still take my pre-natals. Any good ideas anyone??

Oh yeah, I hope everyone else had a really good mothers day!


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thyra* 
gave me tons of unwanted parenting advice.

lucky you!









hmmm...BF hates tomatoes but loves pasta? what kind of sauces do you usually make? Is there anything in particular you feel you're missing in your diet (greens, protein etc) or are you just hankering for some new flavours?

I've never been a believer in vitamins and supplements but I find myself taking more and more of them these days


----------



## Mama2Rio

Hey mamas! i've been super busy with dd this week. we went to my friend's house (i haven't seen her in over a year) for her lo's b-day. it was great for dd to watch some older kids play. we went to a lll meeting this morning and yesterday played at the park. i'm actually getting out a lot this week.

alekslasce, have things lightened up in mexico with the whole swine flu thing? I'm in AZ, and we've seen one or two people walking around with masks... it's kind of strange. i mean, there's only been like 8 cases in the state, and it seems like the media is making a way bigger deal out of everything.

i'm having a really bad day... last night i had some allergic reation to, well, i don't know... and today i've had a few dizzy spells. dd is sleeping, and should be up soon. she has diaper rash, and i think it's from watermelon... or tomatoes. but she ate a lot of watermelon a few days ago, and started pooping a lot








4 X in one day. ugh... i'm going to give her a little bannana today and hope it helps, but i'll prob have to take her off solids for a day or two.

we're having fun lately, but today's been kind of a bummer.

bababa, i really want a goat... my grandmother use to have a few... dh thinks it's too much work, and we don't have enough shade in our yard. maybe our next house.


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
I have a Boer goat. He's 2 years old and his name is Duddy. They make great pets. Now that the weather is nice we take him for a walk every morning. He doesn't really need a rope because he stays close. We originally got him thinking he would be a good companion for the horses. The horses, who are deeply attached to each other couldn't care less about him







I thought I could tether him around the property to clean up some of the brush but he gets lonely and cries and cries until I take pity on him and put him back in the pasture.

Did you grow up on a farm?

Ahhhhhh! I'm surfing from bed right now.







I've been known to surf from the bathroom









That is wonderful. My goat never needed a leash either - she would follow people around just like a dog, and was much more social than a dog. They do get lonely... have you thought about getting Duddy some company







? Yeah, I grew up on a farm, and miss the nature sometimes. This is the closest I get to nature now







:.

So you really see some people with masks in the States? Haven't seen any here yet, and I think that the whole swine flu thing will blow over, like with the other "new disease" hypes.

Thyra, what kind of recipes are you after? Throw in some keywords and I am sure we can all come up with some stuff







.


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
That sounds wondeful! I really miss having a garden to enjoy the nice weather in! What kind of pig have you got? Do you have other animals? I love goats, I'd like to have one again one day. As a kid, I had a goat called Cathy that I used to take for walks, like you would a dog. She was wonderful, very social. We also had another goat, who I swear was evil! She used to head-but people and the other goat all the time... everyone was afraid of her, including the dog. She was given to us by a family who didn't want her anymore, so who knows what they did to her to make her that way...

I have 2 pigs right now and I am adopting YodaMae's sister in a month. They are pot bellied pigs. Eleanor is my baby, I have had her since she was 10 days old. She lives in the house, she is potty trained, and too smart for her own good. YodaMae I adopted 1 year ago, she lives outside in a hut that is heated for the winter. She's a good little pig. They don't have mud holes, sometimes they will dig up my grass to lay in the dirt if it's hot outside. I have chickens, cats, a dog, with another on the way in 3 months. They are a lot of work but they all keep me company during the day.


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Going back to the swine flu thing, I was living in Toronto when SARS hit. I remember watching the coverage on CNN and seeing pedestrians in the background wearing masks. I never, ever saw anyone on the streets wearing masks!!! and I lived and worked right down town around all the hospitals. I couldn't help feeling it was a set up. I'm not saying that CNN had actors or put masks on people but I think they purposely filmed those people, (who were definitely the exception, rather than the norm) to sensationalize the story. I do not trust the media one bit









Neither do I! I think it's a big joke. For two weeks now Law and Order SVU has shown the same episode about vacs, and the dangers to other children if you don't give your kids shots. You can so tell which side of the issue they are on.


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Neither do I! I think it's a big joke. For two weeks now Law and Order SVU has shown the same episode about vacs, and the dangers to other children if you don't give your kids shots. You can so tell which side of the issue they are on.

Haven't seen that episode... I don't like SVU all that much any more now!


----------



## BaBaBa

Mama2Rio, how are you and DD doing now? Better, I hope...


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
That is wonderful. My goat never needed a leash either - she would follow people around just like a dog, and was much more social than a dog. They do get lonely... have you thought about getting Duddy some company







? Yeah, I grew up on a farm, and miss the nature sometimes. This is the closest I get to nature now







:.


awh...give that tree a hug for me







: poor thing looks chained up. where do they think it's going to go?









I agree about the goat. Much more likely to follow us on a walk than either of the dogs.

No more animals!!!!!!! (Well, maybe some ducks or pony...we'll see


----------



## BaBaBa

RV, I didn't know you had chickens?!?! Do tell more!


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
lucky you!









hmmm...BF hates tomatoes but loves pasta? what kind of sauces do you usually make? Is there anything in particular you feel you're missing in your diet (greens, protein etc) or are you just hankering for some new flavours?


yeah, my family is as mainstream as you can get







Luckily my parents never did CIO with us so they don't care that we respond to Lincoln whenever he gets upset.

And yeah, the BF loves pasta but hates tomatoes (I, on the other hand, eat tomatoes like apples....). Its annoying, it really is. He usually just puts olive oil on his pasta and thats it, but sometimes we do an alfredo sauce. I'm not sure he would like any other sauces - but I sure would!! Any kind of sauce that I could store easily would be great!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
So you really see some people with masks in the States? Haven't seen any here yet, and I think that the whole swine flu thing will blow over, like with the other "new disease" hypes.

Thyra, what kind of recipes are you after? Throw in some keywords and I am sure we can all come up with some stuff







.

I'm also of the mind that swine flu is going to peter out similarly to the Avian flu that was supposed to destroy the human race a while back









As for new recipes...really anything that can be made on a budget







we're both students so we don't have much money, but stuff that can be prepared quickly and cheaply would be good. Particularly chicken recipes that have no tomatoes in them! Or taco recipes maybe...not sure the BF would like that either though...He's seriously the pickiest eater on the face of the earth!

Ok, now for a random question:

I REALLY want to get my BF a re-usable travel mug since he always buys the ones that you throw away after a day - and since I'm a hippie from WA state its driving me INSANE!!!! BUT - he hates the way coffee or tea tastes after its been in the metal ones, and he hates the way it tastes after its been in the plastic ones. Seriously, I have never met anyone this picky. He says the only way he will use one is if it has glass on the inside (Have I mentioned that he's picky???? Even when it comes to gifts he can't be pleased...) - does anyone have any idea where to look? I'm thinking upscale places - but since I'm not of expensive taste I have no clue where to start









thanks all.


----------



## BaBaBa

thyra i have the perfect item but I can't tell you right now. Later...


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
thyra i have the perfect item but I can't tell you right now. Later...

I can't wait!! Thanks!


----------



## Mama2Rio

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Mama2Rio, how are you and DD doing now? Better, I hope...

we're doing much better! thanks! i think i got a rash from these bubbles, another kid at the park also got a rash from the bubbles (but dd didn't), it was just hives... i think i'm having low bloodpressure problems.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Neither do I! I think it's a big joke. For two weeks now Law and Order SVU has shown the same episode about vacs, and the dangers to other children if you don't give your kids shots. You can so tell which side of the issue they are on.

i haven't seen this episode either! is it an SVU? i don't really watch the other L&O.... but i don't watch much tv, so i may have just missed it... i'll try tosee if it's on youtub or something.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thyra* 
And yeah, the BF loves pasta but hates tomatoes (I, on the other hand, eat tomatoes like apples....). Its annoying, it really is. He usually just puts olive oil on his pasta and thats it, but sometimes we do an alfredo sauce. I'm not sure he would like any other sauces - but I sure would!! Any kind of sauce that I could store easily would be great!

As for new recipes...really anything that can be made on a budget







we're both students so we don't have much money, but stuff that can be prepared quickly and cheaply would be good. Particularly chicken recipes that have no tomatoes in them! Or taco recipes maybe...not sure the BF would like that either though...He's seriously the pickiest eater on the face of the earth!

thanks all.

for pasta, you could just simmer up some garlic in the olive oil, or make a pesto sauce. you just need pine nuts, garlic and basil. i'm weird in that i don't like white/creamy pesto. i usually saute what ever veggies i feel like eating and add them to pasta. you could also add chicken to it. my brother makes a lot of chicken (he's a poor college student living off of us)... today he made chicken marsala (i think it's just wine, olive oil, mushrooms and garlic, but youu could throw in pepers and onions if you like), usually he just grills chicken or throughs it on a george forman. i don't really know how to cook chicken (or any meat) b/c i don't eat it. we don't really go by recipes here, we just make it up as we go, kind of whatever sounds good. but my dh is a cook, so he knows what he's doing.


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mama2Rio* 
for pasta, you could just simmer up some garlic in the olive oil, or make a pesto sauce. you just need pine nuts, garlic and basil. i'm weird in that i don't like white/creamy pesto. i usually saute what ever veggies i feel like eating and add them to pasta. you could also add chicken to it. my brother makes a lot of chicken (he's a poor college student living off of us)... today he made chicken marsala (i think it's just wine, olive oil, mushrooms and garlic, but youu could throw in pepers and onions if you like), usually he just grills chicken or throughs it on a george forman. i don't really know how to cook chicken (or any meat) b/c i don't eat it. we don't really go by recipes here, we just make it up as we go, kind of whatever sounds good. but my dh is a cook, so he knows what he's doing.

Hahahaha - veggies. Yeah right! I love veggies though....I'll definitely start doing that! Garlic in the olive oil sounds good though! Thanks!!


----------



## MittensKittens

Yeah, I am a big fan of my homemade pesto sauce as well. DD usually asks for "pesto with pasta" rather than pasta with pesto, and that is how she likes to eat it - lots of pesto with a little pasta







.


----------



## BaBaBa

Ok thyra, here it is:

http://www.reusablebags.com/store/pa...-p-1370.html?=

I saw this in a design store in Toronto last week. It looks really cool. It's definitely a piece of art as well as being functional. I actually expected it would cost more as it looks to be high quality as well as stylish. You might even be able to source a better price for it. A coworker of DH has one and takes it everywhere.

Whaddya think?


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Ok thyra, here it is:

http://www.reusablebags.com/store/pa...-p-1370.html?=

I saw this in a design store in Toronto last week. It looks really cool. It's definitely a piece of art as well as being functional. I actually expected it would cost more as it looks to be high quality as well as stylish. You might even be able to source a better price for it. A coworker of DH has one and takes it everywhere.

Whaddya think?

OMG this is the COOLEST thing EVER!!! I did find it on amazon for 13.95 though, so thats where I'll buy it probably. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I think my BF will LOVE it! Now I'm just wondering if I should buy him 2....


----------



## MittensKittens

I love the mug!! That's just so cool!


----------



## 106657

Well, hello mamas. My kids started driving yesterday. My DD Kelsey had her turn first, she did a good job. Not too many hold your breath moments! Today my DD Devin had her turn, and well the session ended early the girl has a lead foot!

BaBaBa-I love chickens, they are easy to care for, I sell the eggs and use them, they keep my yard free of all kinds of bugs, and they work in the garden in the beginning of the season, and the end. They are friendly, we had them since they were a day old.


----------



## 106657

Mama2Rio- That was an episode of SVU. I just happened to catch it.


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Well, hello mamas. My kids started driving yesterday. My DD Kelsey had her turn first, she did a good job. Not too many hold your breath moments! Today my DD Devin had her turn, and well the session ended early the girl has a lead foot!

BaBaBa-I love chickens, they are easy to care for, I sell the eggs and use them, they keep my yard free of all kinds of bugs, and they work in the garden in the beginning of the season, and the end. They are friendly, we had them since they were a day old.


When is the next kid up for their turn driving? That must be so exciting (and expensive)!

My mom has chickens. She used to sell the eggs and eat lots of them... until she got a rat problem and the rats eat the eggs







. She has been using rat poison now, but she really doesn't want to, mainly because she thinks it could kill the cat if he eats a poisoned rat. Do you have any cures for rats?


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Do you have any cures for rats?

Cats!

We had such a bad rat infestation in the barn they weren't even afraid of you. One even ran down my shoulder as I went up the stairs in the barn








I suspect they even killed a small chicken.

No more rodent problems once we got a cat.


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Cats!

We had such a bad rat infestation in the barn they weren't even afraid of you. One even ran down my shoulder as I went up the stairs in the barn








I suspect they even killed a small chicken.

No more rodent problems once we got a cat.

Yeah, these aren't afraid of humans either, nor of the dog... she's got one cat, but they are still around.

I didn't know rats could kill small chicks, but it doesn't surprise me at all







. How did you feel with a rat running down your body? Yikes!

I went to say hello to some new neighbors today. They have a little baby a month older than my son. They seemed like nice people. The girl had just bought a sewing machine, and I offered to help her learn how to use it. It would be nice for my son to have a playmate later on... if we stay here with all the stuff going on at the moment







.

Hey, this is my 1000th post.







:


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Do you have any cures for rats?

Yuck! The alley behind our house when I was little had rats and we were the only house on the block that didn't have an infestation - my dog killed any and all rodents and small animals that came onto our property. Rats, squirrels, mice, even some birds! Our cats are always too timid to get mice...one even ran from a mouse! But, we have snobby indoor cats!

I'm so excited though - we're going to the zoo later today!! Its pay what you wish donation day at the Bronx zoo, so we're going to go see the gorillas. Do you think Lincoln will be interested?

AND - I'm meeting up with a pregnant friend on Saturday! I'm so excited for her baby to be born!! She's due to have her baby boy in early June, so its getting super close and I can't wait!


----------



## abiyhayil

Welcome Aleks! DH and I fell in love in London while studying abroad and we would love to go back.
This thread inspired me to try to make friends, I posted to the babywearer group that I go to now school is over that we should try to do group outings and suggested the itty bitty zoo here and the only two responses I got were no that zoo is too small and sorry we're too busy homeschooling. Now I'm afraid I'll feel awkward at the next meeting having put myself out there


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thyra* 

I'm so excited though - we're going to the zoo later today!! Its pay what you wish donation day at the Bronx zoo, so we're going to go see the gorillas. Do you think Lincoln will be interested?


We went to the zoo about a month ago. DD was more interested in the change of environment than the actual animals but we all had a blast just the same. The Bronx Zoo....sigh*, New York is so cool.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *abiyhayil* 
This thread inspired me to try to make friends, I posted to the babywearer group that I go to now school is over that we should try to do group outings and suggested the itty bitty zoo here and the only two responses I got were no that zoo is too small and sorry we're too busy homeschooling. Now I'm afraid I'll feel awkward at the next meeting having put myself out there









The zoo is too small?!?! And since when is going to the zoo not an acceptable homeschooling activity?!?! Those are lame excuses. Don't feel awkward for speaking up. You've established yourself as a leader. They must be shy or something.

Maybe they'd be interested in something like this:
http://www.salsababies.com/
I don't know if there are any classes in your area but we did it when DD was 6 months and it was great fun! I would have gone back but it was a 1 hour drive each way for me.

The weather here has turned so nice and warm. I'm trying to catch up with my garden but DD has other ideas of what she'd like to do outside.

The black flies are horrible right now. We're getting eaten alive.

We have a birthday party for a friend of DH's to go to in the city on Saturday. I don't want to go. It starts at 8 PM and we have no one in Toronto that could sit DD for us. DD is welcome to come but their child goes to bed at 8 PM and they have a live in nanny. I don't want to take a tired, cranky toddler to an adult party.


----------



## Mama2Rio

Quote:


Originally Posted by *abiyhayil* 
This thread inspired me to try to make friends, I posted to the babywearer group that I go to now school is over that we should try to do group outings and suggested the itty bitty zoo here and the only two responses I got were no that zoo is too small and sorry we're too busy homeschooling. Now I'm afraid I'll feel awkward at the next meeting having put myself out there










umm... isn't part of homeschooling being able to bring your children to learn at places outside four walls? i think you had a great idea... even if the zoo is small, it's a chance for parents and kids to hang out.

we've had a rough week... dd was sick for the FIRST time! caught a bad stomache bug. my brother than got it, then DH... i some how didn't catch it! and i was the one who got puked on. i guess this is what we get for bringing her to play with other kids at the park... every ones better now, but having 2 men sick (i think they're worse than the baby) plus the baby, i'm exhausted.

i'm currently searching for a part time job. things don't look to good, partly because i don't know what i want to do. i just go tmy resume in order right before every one got sick, so i haven't had a chance to write a cover letter, which is what i should be doing right now!


----------



## BaBaBa

Men are definitely worse than babies when they're sick!









What type of job are you interested in?


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
When is the next kid up for their turn driving? That must be so exciting (and expensive)!

My mom has chickens. She used to sell the eggs and eat lots of them... until she got a rat problem and the rats eat the eggs







. She has been using rat poison now, but she really doesn't want to, mainly because she thinks it could kill the cat if he eats a poisoned rat. Do you have any cures for rats?

My DD Kelsey on Monday, DD Devin on Tuesday and DS Foster on Wednesday, then we will just keep that rotation going. In NH it cost $500.00 plus per child, not including insurance.

I have cats that take care of any critter problem. I keep the chicken food in containers with lids and in a different location.


----------



## blinders

Hi Mamas

I moved to a different part of the country -- which feels like a different planet at times. Between school, a toddler, and the new locale, it has been difficult meeting new people...Can I join in with you ladies?


----------



## alekslasce

Wow I haven't been online for a while. SO has been working long hours these days so I don't have lots of free time to get online.
ACKKK I want my partner back please







:

Hi abiyhayil!!!
SO and I met in Salford. And we lived there till September 2008. I miss it soo much. I had everything planned. We were planning to move to a bigger house in a quiet neighbourhood. But then SO got this job here and so we moved.

I've been having a hard time looking for the right school for DD. We were thinking of a British School ,but it's too far away from our house. And the good "bilingual" schools are very expensive. And there's no way I'm putting her in a public school here. The thought of it scares me.

It's been raining all week. I love it. But DD has a cold. SO was freaked out, he thought it was the swine flu. But she's got a common cold. But she's been so difficult these days. I have her on me ALL day. Her clinginess is getting worse.


----------



## MittensKittens

Hey mamas,

Hope you're all OK? I think most of us are staying home for the summer? Or is anyone planning a vacation?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alekslasce* 
I've been having a hard time looking for the right school for DD. We were thinking of a British School ,but it's too far away from our house. And the good "bilingual" schools are very expensive. And there's no way I'm putting her in a public school here. The thought of it scares me.

It's been raining all week. I love it. But DD has a cold. SO was freaked out, he thought it was the swine flu. But she's got a common cold. But she's been so difficult these days. I have her on me ALL day. Her clinginess is getting worse.

That must be so hard. Schooling is such an important decision, yet factors like money and location can't be ignored. I hope you will be able to make a decision you are happy with in the end (and just curious, have you ever thought about homeschooling?)

Wow, that is what the swine flu hype does to people, it makes them panic because of common colds. Sorry your SO was freaked out.


----------



## AnnaNova

hi, can i join your thread? i moved to the usa 2 years ago, had a baby boy 3 mo ago and somehow failed to make many friends. almost all of my friends are my husband's friends, and its just not the same...


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AnnaNova* 
hi, can i join your thread? i moved to the usa 2 years ago, had a baby boy 3 mo ago and somehow failed to make many friends. almost all of my friends are my husband's friends, and its just not the same...

Hi, welcome! Another expat, great! Where are you from (ignore if you don't feel like answering







)? How do you like being a mom? My boy is just a month older than yours!

Oh and of course, if you're hoping to meet people, there is a tribal area where you can find other MDC-ers near you. The Baby Wearer also has groups.

ETA I like your siggy. Never seen that smilie before!


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alekslasce* 

I've been having a hard time looking for the right school for DD. We were thinking of a British School ,but it's too far away from our house. And the good "bilingual" schools are very expensive. And there's no way I'm putting her in a public school here. The thought of it scares me.


I think MK mentioned it but yeah, what about homeschooling? She's still really young.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blinders* 
Hi Mamas

I moved to a different part of the country -- which feels like a different planet at times. Between school, a toddler, and the new locale, it has been difficult meeting new people...Can I join in with you ladies?











Quote:


Originally Posted by *AnnaNova* 
hi, can i join your thread? i moved to the usa 2 years ago, had a baby boy 3 mo ago and somehow failed to make many friends. almost all of my friends are my husband's friends, and its just not the same...









:

I'm so proud of myself. I've been a good wife and made supper for DH for when he gets home late tonight. Glazed Carrot Soup with Garlic, Tequila and Lime.


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
I'm so proud of myself. I've been a good wife and made supper for DH for when he gets home late tonight. Glazed Carrot Soup with Garlic, Tequila and Lime.

Wonderful! Especially the tequila part







. I hope you both enjoyed it!

Hey blinders, I missed your post. Welcome to the thread!


----------



## MittensKittens

Ernalala, where are you? I just happened to read which country you are from, which language do you speak? If it's not French, we speak the same language







, but it probably is French. Mystery solved


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blinders* 
Hi Mamas

I moved to a different part of the country -- which feels like a different planet at times. Between school, a toddler, and the new locale, it has been difficult meeting new people...Can I join in with you ladies?

Hi and welcome!


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AnnaNova* 
hi, can i join your thread? i moved to the usa 2 years ago, had a baby boy 3 mo ago and somehow failed to make many friends. almost all of my friends are my husband's friends, and its just not the same...

Hello, welcome.


----------



## 106657

Where we are there are no choices for schools where I am, it's either The High School, or Homeschool. I hope everyone is going to have a great weekend. We are going to be spending time together as a family, at home. My favorite type of vacation.


----------



## alekslasce

She's starting school when she turns 4. Yeah a year and some months away, but we are already looking.
Homeschooling in Mexico??? NAAH. It's unheard of, they are some homeschooling families here I bet, as it's legal. But I really want her to go to school.
And I want to work.


----------



## Mama2Rio

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Men are definitely worse than babies when they're sick!









What type of job are you interested in?

it's hard to say... everything interests me, but nothing's appealiing. i'm getting out of books. i want something new. i'm afraid i might have to go corporate... and that's just not me. i told a college friend this and he laughed a good 5 mins... just can't see me 'selling out'... all i've done sine college is travel, sell books, write poetry, wrote a book, and started 5 others. and i've been out of work for a year to be with dd. now i don't have time to finish anything b/c dd is too needy and active at 10 months. i don't have writing sample to send any place, my poetry is too personal, and i'm just stuck... writing to make a living is out of the question. i can't travel too far, and i need 4-5 hr days, or a place that will let dd come to work with me, we will not do daycare and don't have any relitives to watch her... ugh... i made my answer way more complex than needed. all in all, i really don't know.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blinders* 
Hi Mamas

I moved to a different part of the country -- which feels like a different planet at times. Between school, a toddler, and the new locale, it has been difficult meeting new people...Can I join in with you ladies?









i relocated 4 years this summer... it's hard to meet others in new locations when you don't have any social network... but at the time it was just dh and me, i had a really cool job and loved my co-workers, just most of them i wouldn't want my baby around... just too many wild times... it's really different with kids.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
I'm so proud of myself. I've been a good wife and made supper for DH for when he gets home late tonight. Glazed Carrot Soup with Garlic, Tequila and Lime.

that souns sooo good..... would it be any good cold? i love soup, it's just so hot here.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alekslasce* 

It's been raining all week. I love it. But DD has a cold. SO was freaked out, he thought it was the swine flu. But she's got a common cold. But she's been so difficult these days. I have her on me ALL day. Her clinginess is getting worse.

heehee... we get the same weather... i love the rain and the way the desert smells after.


----------



## blinders

Thanks to all you wonderful mamas for the welcome!

I actually made an effort this week to join 2 different mom groups in town. I shall see how it works out. I am keeping my fingers crossed. I just feel so awkward meeting new people.

On a different note, we are heading out into the "big" city a few hours away tomorrow. I am not used to being in a town this small, so I am a bit excited -- even though I am not a big shopping person. The highlight will be the splurge of eating out - Ethiopian I hope














:

Anyone have exciting plans for the weekend?


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blinders* 
Thanks to all you wonderful mamas for the welcome!

I actually made an effort this week to join 2 different mom groups in town. I shall see how it works out. I am keeping my fingers crossed. I just feel so awkward meeting new people.

On a different note, we are heading out into the "big" city a few hours away tomorrow. I am not used to being in a town this small, so I am a bit excited -- even though I am not a big shopping person. The highlight will be the splurge of eating out - Ethiopian I hope














:

Anyone have exciting plans for the weekend?

Ethiopian sounds wonderful! Hope you have a great time!

There was a massive thunderstorm here last night, including lots of lightening that struck a few places nearby. I was hoping it would cool the weather down so the kids and I could actually go outside without nearly melting/burning. But it is already as hot as it was before







. I'll brave it to the bank today, my savings money should have arrived to pay for the DNA test to prove my son is my son, so I can get my son's passport, and social services off my back!

Chicken people, any thoughts on this? My mom's had a FOX come to eat the chickens three nights in a row now. They are locked in over night, but they are so scared that one has broken its wing, and the rooster has ripped its comb in half. Is there any way to deter the thing? I think the answer is no, but I feel sorry for the poor things!


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mama2Rio* 
it's hard to say... everything interests me, but nothing's appealiing. i'm getting out of books. i want something new. i'm afraid i might have to go corporate... and that's just not me. i told a college friend this and he laughed a good 5 mins... just can't see me 'selling out'... all i've done sine college is travel, sell books, write poetry, wrote a book, and started 5 others. and i've been out of work for a year to be with dd. now i don't have time to finish anything b/c dd is too needy and active at 10 months. i don't have writing sample to send any place, my poetry is too personal, and i'm just stuck... writing to make a living is out of the question. i can't travel too far, and i need 4-5 hr days, or a place that will let dd come to work with me, we will not do daycare and don't have any relitives to watch her... ugh... i made my answer way more complex than needed. all in all, i really don't know.


You sound really creative. Don't give it up! Creative people need an outlet. Would you be working in a big city? What about working in advertising or film? Or any local newspapers? Nah...scratch that idea, they're all going out of business it seems. It does seem that working from home would be the best scenario. There's a forum here somewhere for that....
Have you considered being self employed or starting your own business?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mama2Rio* 
i
that souns sooo good..... would it be any good cold? i love soup, it's just so hot here.


Totally! It even suggests it in the recipe, found here:

http://books.google.com/books?id=gNA...esult&resnum=1

I'm a huge fan of this book!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blinders* 

On a different note, we are heading out into the "big" city a few hours away tomorrow. I am not used to being in a town this small, so I am a bit excited -- even though I am not a big shopping person. The highlight will be the splurge of eating out - Ethiopian I hope














:


I'm off to our big city, Toronto, this weekend. Where's yours?
The Ethiopian restaurants in Toronto are very small places, hidden away but very good.
I do love eating out.... no dishes to do!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
I'll brave it to the bank today, my savings money should have arrived to pay for the DNA test to prove my son is my son, so I can get my son's passport, and social services off my back!

Chicken people, any thoughts on this? My mom's had a FOX come to eat the chickens three nights in a row now. They are locked in over night, but they are so scared that one has broken its wing, and the rooster has ripped its comb in half. Is there any way to deter the thing? I think the answer is no, but I feel sorry for the poor things!

What a ridiculous hassle! Since when does a mother have to prove a child is hers?!?!







At the very least, you shouldn't have to pay for that.

We gradually lost our entire first flock to predators, mainly raccoons I think but foxes live on the property too. A predator proof enclosure can be built but it would be a big project to build something that protects from every possible entry point and then the chickens aren't very free. I love to watch them strut around the yard.

I have heard of electric chicken fencing but never tried it. I don't know if it would stop a predator from digging it's way in. Maybe.

What worked for us was a Livestock Guardian Dog. Ours is a Great Pyrenees. We haven't lost a single animal to predators in the 3 years since we got here.


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
You sound really creative. Don't give it up! Creative people need an outlet. Would you be working in a big city? What about working in advertising or film? Or any local newspapers? Nah...scratch that idea, they're all going out of business it seems. It does seem that working from home would be the best scenario. There's a forum here somewhere for that....
Have you considered being self employed or starting your own business?

Totally! It even suggests it in the recipe, found here:

http://books.google.com/books?id=gNA...esult&resnum=1

I'm a huge fan of this book!

I'm off to our big city, Toronto, this weekend. Where's yours?
The Ethiopian restaurants in Toronto are very small places, hidden away but very good.
I do love eating out.... no dishes to do!

What a ridiculous hassle! Since when does a mother have to prove a child is hers?!?!







At the very least, you shouldn't have to pay for that.

We gradually lost our entire first flock to predators, mainly raccoons I think but foxes live on the property too. A predator proof enclosure can be built but it would be a big project to build something that protects from every possible entry point and then the chickens aren't very free. I love to watch them strut around the yard.

I have heard of electric chicken fencing but never tried it. I don't know if it would stop a predator from digging it's way in. Maybe.

What worked for us was a Livestock Guardian Dog. Ours is a Great Pyrenees. We haven't lost a single animal to predators in the 3 years since we got here.


Those are beautiful dogs! It is really great that it keeps your animals safe, too! Are they not scared of the dog?

So... got my DNA test today, it was a swab from inside the cheek, so no pain for DS. I did pay it out of my own pocket. The alternative was apparently getting Social Services to pay for it, but the price for that was their interference in all aspects of my life. So no thank you. I just want the whole thing over and done with... I pray that it will be, very soon.

Redveg, how are your kids doing with the driving lessons?


----------



## Mama2Rio

bababa- home biz... i had thoughts, but once again, i have no idea what i'd do... plus, i'd need start up $, and i don't have any $ to risk. i'm still looking, right now i have time to be picky, if i don't find what i want in a few months-which i don't know what it it (i'll know it when i see it)- then i'll have to "settle" on something. now dh's hrs at work are getting changed, so i have to wait on that to settle and see what happens over the next few weeks, then i'll know what hrs i can work.
also, the book you recomended, i've picked it up a few times to look through, i reallly should buy it!

MittensKittens- how long do the results take? i hope it's not weeks!


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Ethiopian sounds wonderful! Hope you have a great time!

There was a massive thunderstorm here last night, including lots of lightening that struck a few places nearby. I was hoping it would cool the weather down so the kids and I could actually go outside without nearly melting/burning. But it is already as hot as it was before







. I'll brave it to the bank today, my savings money should have arrived to pay for the DNA test to prove my son is my son, so I can get my son's passport, and social services off my back!

Chicken people, any thoughts on this? My mom's had a FOX come to eat the chickens three nights in a row now. They are locked in over night, but they are so scared that one has broken its wing, and the rooster has ripped its comb in half. Is there any way to deter the thing? I think the answer is no, but I feel sorry for the poor things!


Ok, I had the same issue once. I did reiki on my chicken with some lavender essential oil, then I had the males in my family pee around the coop. I had the females pee only as a last resort, and if the were not on their periods. I haven't seen a fox since. Sounds odd, but the urine from the males keeps animals away.


----------



## 106657

I do have electric fencing around my chickens, but haven't have the power to it in some time. I do let my dog, a very old yellow lab, female, sit outside, and I am outside a lot because of my garden, but having the males in the family pee is a big plus!


----------



## BaBaBa

The Great Pyrenees is a beautiful dog but I probably wouldn't choose one again. We seem to have a personality conflict







. It's hard because you can't really have a relationship with a LGD because they live with the flock and should never leave that territory. Naturally, she is very aloof and independent. She like you, but doesn't NEED you like pet dogs seem to do.

Her major flaws are that she will run away if given the opportunity (of all LGD breeds, they are most likely to desert the flock) and her destructive nature. I can't count the number of garden hoses she's chewed up. Again, very common with Great Pyrenees, especially females. They call it 'housekeeping'









The chickens aren't afraid of her although they did get off to a rough start. Abby would 'molest' the rooster. Maybe because he looked different. She would just grab him and carry him around and lick him for hours. I can laugh about it now but it was a real problem in the beginning.


----------



## ~D~

Hi everyone!

It's been a while since my last post to this forum, packing and cleaning and yard selling and donating and oh yeah, getting ready to move.... I am sooo tired and we haven't even left for AZ yet.

Mama2Rio, I understand where you are coming from with the work issue. I won't be able to go back to work until after summer break because we don't do the daycare thing either. I am going to really research the WAHM gig as well as great *cold* recipes for when we get there. Wow. We are really going to do this... It's gonna be ok It's gonna be ok It's gonna be ok It's gonna be ok.......


----------



## BaBaBa

I feel like my brain is fried since DD was born. I would have a hard time re entering the work force now. My spelling, computer skills, concentration etc. have all declined. Plus, it's hard enough finding time for myself and for DH let alone having a job to dedicate myself to.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
I did reiki on my chicken with some lavender essential oil, then I had the males in my family pee around the coop. I had the females pee only as a last resort, and if the were not on their periods. I haven't seen a fox since. Sounds odd, but the urine from the males keeps animals away.

I too had heard about having male humans pee around the place. DH did it a few times but it didn't work for us. Our chickens live in a huge bank barn with many potential points of entry so I don't think any man could pee enough around the perimeter.


----------



## marispel

Hi ladies,

Is it ok if I join your group? I'm a WAHM and recently moved to a small country town. My DH & I hate it. There are no mommy groups and I'm bad about getting out to make friends. I work. We have a in-house nanny and I have a TON of family here, but it is not the same as having friends. We lived in GA for 20+ yrs and left to be closer to my family. It's crazy, but I've never felt lonelier in my life. Here I have 6 bro. & sisters & 17 neices & nephews, but now that I'm back I've realized they all have their own lives. Their kids are much older than my baby and so we don't have any babies to play with.

We are looking to move back to GA just so we can live in a subdivision and hopefully have friends again. I just want to go out for a walk and say HI to people or go to the pool. I need an outlet, bad!

....I'm rambling, but thought I would join and tell just a bit about me.


----------



## 106657

Hello all. Tomorrow I have to run around town, and I hate it. It never fails, when I have to get out it's the last thing I want to do.

On the chicken thing, you can buy animal urine to put around the coop, like maybe some wolf? I know when I lived down south I could go to the local pet store/vet office and get it.


----------



## 106657

Welcome marispel. I am from South Florida. Lived there my entire life until 3.5 years ago. The move was a huge change, leaving my home, the one friend I had, but slowly things are getting better. They will for you too.


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Hello all. Tomorrow I have to run around town, and I hate it. It never fails, when I have to get out it's the last thing I want to do.

On the chicken thing, you can buy animal urine to put around the coop, like maybe some wolf? I know when I lived down south I could go to the local pet store/vet office and get it.

OK, that would be great, since there are no actual male humans in my moms house. She's been putting up obstacles for the fox and he hasn't been around for the last three nights. The chickens are healing as well.

Hi Marispel, welcome!

BaBaBa, I so get you in the fried brain department!!!


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
We went to the zoo about a month ago. DD was more interested in the change of environment than the actual animals but we all had a blast just the same. The Bronx Zoo....sigh*, New York is so cool.


New York is cool to visit. I'm still trying to convince myself that I like living here!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Men are definitely worse than babies when they're sick!










I just had to agree with this! After Lincoln was born I was exhausted, and tired and not feeling too hot, although I had a great birth high, and my BF had stupidly allowed himself to get dehydrated and didn't eat anything the whole time I was in labor. Then he was acting like he was worse off than I was! I had JUST given BIRTH! I know its a natural process and all, but geez - I tore badly and needed to be taken care of, not to take care of HIM! Lol...

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blinders* 
Hi Mamas

I moved to a different part of the country -- which feels like a different planet at times. Between school, a toddler, and the new locale, it has been difficult meeting new people...Can I join in with you ladies?

Hi!! Welcome! I don't post as often as I want to, but I'm trying to keep up!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Hey mamas,

Hope you're all OK? I think most of us are staying home for the summer? Or is anyone planning a vacation?


I'm going on 2 vacations!! I'm SO excited! I'm going to Seattle for a week in June to go to my best friends wedding, and to see my parents. Then in August I'm going to Seattle for 2 weeks with Lincoln and my BF! I'm so excited, I can't wait!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AnnaNova* 
hi, can i join your thread? i moved to the usa 2 years ago, had a baby boy 3 mo ago and somehow failed to make many friends. almost all of my friends are my husband's friends, and its just not the same...

Welcome! (I'm amazed, I got to welcome 2 new people in one post...sorry this is so long!)


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *marispel* 
Hi ladies,

Is it ok if I join your group? I'm a WAHM and recently moved to a small country town. My DH & I hate it. There are no mommy groups and I'm bad about getting out to make friends. I work. We have a in-house nanny and I have a TON of family here, but it is not the same as having friends. We lived in GA for 20+ yrs and left to be closer to my family. It's crazy, but I've never felt lonelier in my life. Here I have 6 bro. & sisters & 17 neices & nephews, but now that I'm back I've realized they all have their own lives. Their kids are much older than my baby and so we don't have any babies to play with.

We are looking to move back to GA just so we can live in a subdivision and hopefully have friends again. I just want to go out for a walk and say HI to people or go to the pool. I need an outlet, bad!

....I'm rambling, but thought I would join and tell just a bit about me.

Welcome! Moving is hard. I'm living in NYC right now and have been for about a year and a half right now. I'm still struggling to make friends with other moms - its really hard!

So last weekend was really tough. We went to visit some family down in DC and PA and the car rides were long and Lincoln was miserable! I don't think I'm ever taking him anywhere in a car again!

He also threw up ALOT while we were gone - like 2x per day until we got home and then it stopped. What could cause this? His poop has also been a weird consistency and color and smell for a while - I'm going to try and eliminate diary to see if that helps. How do I eliminate diary and still get enough to eat? Anyone know of any good tasting recipes that are easy and have no diary? This might be a stupid question, but is butter diary? Oh man....I don't know if I can live without diary!!! The things we do for our children









Now that things are settling in I'm going to try and keep up a little better!

MittensKittens - I really hope that your situation with your son resolves soon! I also hope that social services doesn't get more involved, it sounds like such a PITA.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thyra* 

I just had to agree with this! After Lincoln was born I was exhausted, and tired and not feeling too hot, although I had a great birth high, and my BF had stupidly allowed himself to get dehydrated and didn't eat anything the whole time I was in labor. Then he was acting like he was worse off than I was! I had JUST given BIRTH! I know its a natural process and all, but geez - I tore badly and needed to be taken care of, not to take care of HIM! Lol...


This reminds me of Basque men, famous for experiencing couvade, a false (obviously) labour when then wives give birth. As if their wives don't have enough to deal with


----------



## BaBaBa

Thyra,
Who would have thought the cliche of being lonely in New York was true!

DD was horrible in the car until around the age of 2. I just avoid traveling with her when possible and made people come to me instead of visiting them. Now she loves the car. It will get better.

Yes, butter is dairy. I would have thought a dairy allergy would have presented itself by now but I really don't know anything on the subject. Obviously there's info here but have you checked kellymom or the Dr. Sears website?

Vegan recipes might be a good place to start looking for dairy free meal ideas.

I was vegan long ago..... now, I'd find dairy hard to give up too!


----------



## MittensKittens

I go completely vegan from time to time, but I have had huge dental issues since my son was born. I had to have two molars out. I have since read some pretty interesting but controversial stuff on the net about dental healing. Apparently probiotics, fish oil and grass fed butter really help teeth re-mineralize. So I am making an effort to get lots of yoghurt. Any thoughts on the dental thing, you guys?


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thyra* 
How do I eliminate diary and still get enough to eat? Anyone know of any good tasting recipes that are easy and have no diary? This might be a stupid question, but is butter diary? Oh man....I don't know if I can live without diary!!!

If it comes from a cow, it's dairy.


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Thyra,
Who would have thought the cliche of being lonely in New York was true!

DD was horrible in the car until around the age of 2. I just avoid traveling with her when possible and made people come to me instead of visiting them. Now she loves the car. It will get better.

Yes, butter is dairy. I would have thought a dairy allergy would have presented itself by now but I really don't know anything on the subject. Obviously there's info here but have you checked kellymom or the Dr. Sears website?

Vegan recipes might be a good place to start looking for dairy free meal ideas.

I was vegan long ago..... now, I'd find dairy hard to give up too!

Vegan meals...Good idea!! I haven't checked kellymom, but I'm on my way there now! I also thought it would have presented itself by now, but I don't know. Someone on the Life With a Babe forum said his weird poop could be b/c of all the drool (which is coming by the gallon right now! or at least it seems that way...) - but would poop SMELL weird b/c of drool? it smells awful, although I guess it could be b/c of the grapefruit I've been eating, or the plums - but I didn't think those were allergens. I'll check kellymom for more information on allergy's and such though - good idea!


----------



## 106657

Wow, morning all. It is raining and dark here, kind of yucky, but my garden loves it! Yesterday I was out from 10a to 4p and I am so tired, man I am an odd duck! I have one child home ill today, going to break down and take her to the Dr.

I have been a vegetarian most of my life, have tried to go vegan a few times, but I can't go with out dairy, no way! I can cut back that's it.


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Wow, morning all. It is raining and dark here, kind of yucky, but my garden loves it! Yesterday I was out from 10a to 4p and I am so tired, man I am an odd duck! I have one child home ill today, going to break down and take her to the Dr.

I have been a vegetarian most of my life, have tried to go vegan a few times, but I can't go with out dairy, no way! I can cut back that's it.

I'd be tired too if I was out from 10am to 4pm! Thats a long time, and if I had Lincoln forget it!

I hope your sick child starts to feel better soon - being sick is no fun









Man, I couldn't even go vegetarian - I love love love red meat!


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
I have since read some pretty interesting but controversial stuff on the net about dental healing. Apparently probiotics, fish oil and grass fed butter really help teeth re-mineralize. So I am making an effort to get lots of yoghurt. Any thoughts on the dental thing, you guys?

I've also heard a bit of that stuff and I don't know what to think. I'm sure there's at least some truth to it. I think there are so many variables, eg., genetics & diet that it would be almost impossible to have definitive studies. I think you just have to find what works for you and your family. I have lousy teeth but so does my whole family. Now the fluoride thing.... yuck! DD hasn't had her first dentist visit yet. I can't imagine her letting anyone look in her mouth. I'm bracing for a bit of a battle when it comes to the fluoride issue. I remember that stuff making me feel sick to my stomach.

Hey ~Purity♥Lake~! Where have you been hiding? Missed you!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thyra* 
Someone on the Life With a Babe forum said his weird poop could be b/c of all the drool (which is coming by the gallon right now! or at least it seems that way...) - but would poop SMELL weird b/c of drool? it smells awful, although I guess it could be b/c of the grapefruit I've been eating, or the plums - but I didn't think those were allergens. I'll check kellymom for more information on allergy's and such though - good idea!

Is he doing any better yet? The whole allergens in breast milk issue is a mystery. The science says no way can they enter and yet you can't deny all the anecdotal evidence from nursing moms









Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Wow, morning all. It is raining and dark here, kind of yucky, but my garden loves it! Yesterday I was out from 10a to 4p and I am so tired, man I am an odd duck!

I have been a vegetarian most of my life, have tried to go vegan a few times, but I can't go with out dairy, no way! I can cut back that's it.

We're getting the same weather as you. The weeds are loving it









I also get totally exhausted if I'm away from home. You must be an intovert too









I was vegan until I had a B12 deficiency diagnosis from a doctor so I introduced dairy back into my diet. Looooong story short... a decade later a different (more thorough) doctor discovered I just can't absorb it. Doesn't matter how much I eat. I take monthly injections now. It's too late to go back to being vegan now. Well, it's not but I couldn't do that to DH


----------



## Mama2Rio

hey mamas, just checking in to see what every one's up to... i had a computer virus and had to reinstall everything in my computer, all fixed, but, uggh... it attacted my virus scanner so i couldn't use it to clean up my computer and my internet was just screwed.

I took dd to the recreation center this morning, it was nice to get out so she could play with other kids... even though she got run over a few times by bigger toddlers. then i had to stop by my neighbors to give back a spare car seat. so i've had much human interaction today. and now my neighbor is begging me to watch her child b/c she doesn't like our other neighbor's care (ie feeding a 13 mo peanut butter and honey!). i really can't do it because i want a real job, and i just don't want the responblilty of some one elses child. plus i'm not licensed so i don't want any lawsuit on my hands.

wish it would rain here, summer's just begining and we've had a really hot may. i kind of miss the north east for the change of seasons. i don't miss NYC area though! i haven't been to the bronx zoo in soooo very long.


----------



## alekslasce

Hello there mammas!!!!

SO and I watched the Barcelona vs Manchester game yesterday but it was soo funny. Becuase I'm from Barcelona and SO is from Manchester so we were "against" eachother. Then SO who is an avid football fan, decided that DD was goin to wear a Manchester shirt that day. I didn't really cared. I don't even like football.
But we won







and I won something to. $500 pesos, it's the first time I bet on something. LOL. SO was so pissed.

My little sister turned 7 on tuesday. I miss my family. Thankfully, they are comming here for the summer. I can't believe I miss my little siblings. I thought that was impossible.







My other brother is turning 10 soon. My mom told me he's soooo tall now. He's probably taller than me.

I can't wait for summer vacations. We are traveling around the country. But I really want to go to the beach. I want to take DD. The last time I took her was last year. And she loooved it.


----------



## 106657

Morning mamas, and happy Friday. Well, it's raining here again! The sun is supposed to shine again some time today, buy who knows. I had buckets spread out in the yard, collecting the rain, and DH dumped them and put them away, he thought I just left them out? I don't get it.

My guys have 16 school days until summer vacation, and I can't wait! I know there are some people who don't look forward to summer break, but I love having my kids around.

Any special plans for this weekend?


----------



## MittensKittens

Hi mamas

Thyra, how is Lincoln doing?

Aleks, I hate the way in which soccer brings one's inner patriot to the surface - I don't even like the game! So, I guess DD will be wearing a Barcelona shirt next time?









Redveg, rain here too, and quite a lot of it! Great for the garden... ..if I had one







!


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Is he doing any better yet? The whole allergens in breast milk issue is a mystery. The science says no way can they enter and yet you can't deny all the anecdotal evidence from nursing moms










Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Hi mamas

Thyra, how is Lincoln doing?


Thanks for asking! He seems to be doing much better! I didn't cut diary yet, although I did cut back just a bit since we're home, so I think it might have just been that we were away for the weekend. I think thats a little weird, but I know that I sometimes don't do well when I travel so I'm hoping thats the case! Although, I also hope that he'll do better when I go to Seattle in a few weeks - thats going to be a busy week and an unhappy, not feeling well baby isn't going to make it any more pleasant! Although, there is the possibility of leaving him with my mom while my dad and I go to the wedding - but everyone thats going to be at the wedding wants to meet him, and they're all really close friends that I don't see often so its a tough call.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mama2Rio* 
hey mamas, just checking in to see what every one's up to... i had a computer virus and had to reinstall everything in my computer, all fixed, but, uggh... it attacted my virus scanner so i couldn't use it to clean up my computer and my internet was just screwed.

Oh man, computer problems are the worst! I hope thats the last of it for you! I had a Dell laptop my first year of law school which was the most miserable thing ever, I had to buy my mac the week before finals b/c it was so bad







:

On a happy note - we're taking Lincoln to get some pictures done this weekend! I'm so excited and I really hope they turn out well! I'm a little nervous though since we don't have a lot to spend on them so I hope they turn out alright! If they do I'll post a few for everyone to see!


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alekslasce* 
But we won







and I won something to. $500 pesos, it's the first time I bet on something. LOL. SO was so pissed.


Gambling can be so much fun. I seldom have an opportunity. I'm not interested in casinos but a day at the race track, just placing little $2 bets can be so fun. I won $50 on a $2 bet once.







: You just have to decide before you begin how much you're okay with losing and never touch your winnings









Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
I had buckets spread out in the yard, collecting the rain, and DH dumped them and put them away, he thought I just left them out? I don't get it.

Any special plans for this weekend?

Maybe he's worried about mosquitos breeding? I heard a few drops off oil on the surface of your rain barrels will stop them. I put an old rain barrel under once of the downspouts from the barn. It filled to the top in less than a minute! A tremendous amount of water comes off the roof. I'd love to put another on on the other side but I feel a bit silly collecting it right next to a pond









DH comes home tomorrow







:

The local Waldorf school has their May Fair tomorrow so I'd like to check it out. The dance around the pole is always fun to watch.


----------



## Mama2Rio

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alekslasce* 

My little sister turned 7 on tuesday. I miss my family. Thankfully, they are comming here for the summer. I can't believe I miss my little siblings. I thought that was impossible.







My other brother is turning 10 soon. My mom told me he's soooo tall now. He's probably taller than me.

i miss my siblings too, until they move in! i have one living with me.... and one moved away almost a year ago.... you appreciate them more when they don't live so close. its funny, i think of my youngest brother, who's 14, as being 7 because that's around the time i moved out of my parents house. and when ever i see him, which is about 2X/year i'm always shocked.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 

The local Waldorf school has their May Fair tomorrow so I'd like to check it out. The dance around the pole is always fun to watch.

that sounds fun... i haven't been to a May Fair in so long. enjoy!


----------



## BaBaBa

bleh! just heard the bad news that it's going to cost a bundle to fix my car. The brakes gave out on the weekend. Warrantee expired in March. Brakes just rusted out dropped into a wheel well and caused a lot of damage. It's not even an old car for crying out loud! Crappy.

DHgot out of the client dinner that was keeping him away until tomorrow BUT apparently Toronto is in a lock down because of the Clinton bush visit so he still wont be home tonight.


----------



## MittensKittens

Thyra, are you going to Seattle by plane? Has Lincoln been in a plane before? I hope you will both have a nice and easy time traveling. Personally, I hate travel with kids. I hate travel period, actually.

BaBaBa, great that DH is coming home! Lockdown sounds wonderful. Biden was here last week, and they cleared most of the streets of traffic. It was pretty hard to get around town. Police was everywhere. It was a nice experience for DD though - when she refused to hold hands, they put the sirens on for her! And this cop told her through the speaker-thingy "YOU have to listen to MOM!". DD loves cars, especially police cars, so she thought it was wonderful.

Where are you, expat, ernalala, purity lake? Herewearetogether?


----------



## mulherin

Hi Ladies,

Just found this today and it's kind of perfect timing because I am feeling especially lonely and depressed today.







Mind if I join you all?









I really have no friends that I see regularly, except maybe one, but she often drops off the face of the planet for weeks/months at a time. This irritates me. Other than that, the 2 other friends I have live far away. I think I have alienated one of them and the other isn't married and has no kids, so we are just at different points in our lives.

I hate where we live, but we are stuck here. And we are pretty much broke. There are lots of things that I would like to do/be involved in, but it proves to be difficult with the kids and no money. But I do have a passion to reform maternity care in the US.

Anyway, look forward to chatting with you all...

Meghan


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 

Hey ~Purity♥Lake~! Where have you been hiding? Missed you!









Heehee, thanks.









I've been playing a video game with my husband and now my sister







: who lives in Wisconsin.


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Thyra, are you going to Seattle by plane? Has Lincoln been in a plane before? I hope you will both have a nice and easy time traveling. Personally, I hate travel with kids. I hate travel period, actually.

BaBaBa, great that DH is coming home! Lockdown sounds wonderful. Biden was here last week, and they cleared most of the streets of traffic. It was pretty hard to get around town. Police was everywhere. It was a nice experience for DD though - when she refused to hold hands, they put the sirens on for her! And this cop told her through the speaker-thingy "YOU have to listen to MOM!". DD loves cars, especially police cars, so she thought it was wonderful.

Where are you, expat, ernalala, purity lake? Herewearetogether?

yeah, we're travelling by plane, I hope it goes ok - I'm pretty nervous! At least we have non-stop flights. That will make it a bit easier.

Thats hilarious that your daughter got yelled at by the police! I bet she'll be telling that story for a long time!


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
- when she refused to hold hands, they put the sirens on for her! And this cop told her through the speaker-thingy "YOU have to listen to MOM!". DD loves cars, especially police cars, so she thought it was wonderful.











I need one of those!


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mulherin* 
Hi Ladies,

Just found this today and it's kind of perfect timing because I am feeling especially lonely and depressed today.







Mind if I join you all?









I really have no friends that I see regularly, except maybe one, but she often drops off the face of the planet for weeks/months at a time. This irritates me. Other than that, the 2 other friends I have live far away. I think I have alienated one of them and the other isn't married and has no kids, so we are just at different points in our lives.

I hate where we live, but we are stuck here. And we are pretty much broke. There are lots of things that I would like to do/be involved in, but it proves to be difficult with the kids and no money. But I do have a passion to reform maternity care in the US.

Anyway, look forward to chatting with you all...

Meghan

Hi Meghan

Sorry you are feeling lonely - you've come to the right place for a bit of company though! No money sucks, I know! In what way do you want to reform maternity care? Have you been to places like LLL and such? Anyway, welcome!!


----------



## MittensKittens

Oh, help! The one sling producer just started making mei tais as well! I have a competitor!!


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mulherin* 
Hi Ladies,

Just found this today and it's kind of perfect timing because I am feeling especially lonely and depressed today.







Mind if I join you all?









I really have no friends that I see regularly, except maybe one, but she often drops off the face of the planet for weeks/months at a time. This irritates me. Other than that, the 2 other friends I have live far away. I think I have alienated one of them and the other isn't married and has no kids, so we are just at different points in our lives.

I hate where we live, but we are stuck here. And we are pretty much broke. There are lots of things that I would like to do/be involved in, but it proves to be difficult with the kids and no money. But I do have a passion to reform maternity care in the US.

Anyway, look forward to chatting with you all...

Meghan

Hi! How do you plan to reform maternity care? I ask b/c I have a friend (more of an acquaintance really) who wants to reform maternity care as well, and she just graduated from my law school.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Oh, help! The one sling producer just started making mei tais as well! I have a competitor!!
















You make mei tais? I have one and I love it, but the straps are so long and complicated seeming sometimes. I've been using my ergo a ton as a result, but I feel like it doesn't adjust enough when I wear Lincoln on my back. Not to mention that when I wear him on my back it makes my stomach pudge all that more obvious.


----------



## MittensKittens

Yes, I just started a while back, when I got laid off. It just makes me a little bit for now, but it is starting to get better, and I enjoy it.

Any thoughts on this one, ladies? My DD has just discovered the most terrible local curse word, and has been repeating it OVER AND OVER for the last hour or so. I don't know what to do about this!







She laughs hysterically while saying it, and she knows she's not supposed to. Personally, I never say this word.


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 

Any thoughts on this one, ladies? My DD has just discovered the most terrible local curse word, and has been repeating it OVER AND OVER for the last hour or so. I don't know what to do about this!







She laughs hysterically while saying it, and she knows she's not supposed to. Personally, I never say this word.

Oh man, I hope she stops soon! Maybe if you ignore it and don't react? Is she trying to get a reaction out of you or just saying it to be rebellious? If you don't say it where did she pick it up? (I'm guessing she heard it while you were out, but I don't know anything about kids learning to talk since mines not going to be there for a while.)


----------



## tinywillow

Lately I've been feeling the same way. I'm divorced and my friends are on the other side of the country. None of them have kids, so when we do talk on the phone now, we seem to have less to talk about than we used to. It's a lot different than when we lived by each other and could go out for live music or to a party like in the past, before I moved and had a baby.

Additionally, my mom died a few years ago and without any sisters or other family, I've been longing for that connection I had with her. I sometimes wish I could just pick up the phone and tell her about my baby or ask for advice.

I just moved to an even new city in my area a couple of weeks ago, so I think this is all hitting me more lately. I'm sorry you other moms feel the same way, but it is nice to know there are other people I can relate to on here. This is my first post on this site.

I hope you all are having a having a good Saturday night. Hi!


----------



## tinywillow

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
bleh! just heard the bad news that it's going to cost a bundle to fix my car. The brakes gave out on the weekend. Warrantee expired in March. Brakes just rusted out dropped into a wheel well and caused a lot of damage. It's not even an old car for crying out loud! Crappy.

DHgot out of the client dinner that was keeping him away until tomorrow BUT apparently Toronto is in a lock down because of the Clinton bush visit so he still wont be home tonight.









My car broke down and I'm without a car too. Sorry!


----------



## Mama2Rio

so i think i missed half a page, i've been so busy lately.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~D~* 
Hi everyone!

It's been a while since my last post to this forum, packing and cleaning and yard selling and donating and oh yeah, getting ready to move.... I am sooo tired and we haven't even left for AZ yet.

Mama2Rio, I understand where you are coming from with the work issue. I won't be able to go back to work until after summer break because we don't do the daycare thing either. I am going to really research the WAHM gig as well as great *cold* recipes for when we get there. Wow. We are really going to do this... It's gonna be ok It's gonna be ok It's gonna be ok It's gonna be ok.......

Maybe some kind of WAHM thing together?! i have to see where i'm at in a month. and yes.. every thing will be good, give yourself & kids time to settle in... hows you dd doing?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
I feel like my brain is fried since DD was born. I would have a hard time re entering the work force now. My spelling, computer skills, concentration etc. have all declined. Plus, it's hard enough finding time for myself and for DH let alone having a job to dedicate myself to.









I'm starting to force DH to take dd for an hour or so at a time. just starting this week... he just got back from the store with her. and time to myself, umm... i guess i'm just starting to get that.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
bleh! just heard the bad news that it's going to cost a bundle to fix my car. The brakes gave out on the weekend. Warrantee expired in March. Brakes just rusted out dropped into a wheel well and caused a lot of damage. It's not even an old car for crying out loud! Crappy.

that's the way it goes... warranty expires = everything brakes.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mulherin* 
Hi Ladies,

I really have no friends that I see regularly, except maybe one, but she often drops off the face of the planet for weeks/months at a time. This irritates me. Other than that, the 2 other friends I have live far away. I think I have alienated one of them and the other isn't married and has no kids, so we are just at different points in our lives.
Meghan

Welcome... this seems to be how most of my friends are... they disappear and reappear like a magic trick.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tinywillow* 
Lately I've been feeling the same way. I'm divorced and my friends are on the other side of the country. None of them have kids, so when we do talk on the phone now, we seem to have less to talk about than we used to. It's a lot different than when we lived by each other and could go out for live music or to a party like in the past, before I moved and had a baby.

I just moved to an even new city in my area a couple of weeks ago, so I think this is all hitting me more lately. I'm sorry you other moms feel the same way, but it is nice to know there are other people I can relate to on here. This is my first post on this site.

I hope you all are having a having a good Saturday night. Hi! 

moving is really hard b/c you really have to work at making a totally new social network.


----------



## 106657

Hey Meghan, welcome. Where in Mass? My Dh is from right outside of Springfield. We go down every once in a while. I'm in New Hampshire.

Well this weekend was crazy, I haven't been on the computer at all, so I am off to read what happened.


----------



## 106657

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Where are you, expat, ernalala, purity lake? Herewearetogether?

Been wondering the same thing.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Any thoughts on this one, ladies? My DD has just discovered the most terrible local curse word, and has been repeating it OVER AND OVER for the last hour or so. I don't know what to do about this!







She laughs hysterically while saying it, and she knows she's not supposed to. Personally, I never say this word.

If DD is laughing, she knows she's not supposed to say it and is just testing to see your reaction, so I would not have one. Funny my kids are 15 and still do the same thing.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tinywillow* 
Lately I've been feeling the same way. I'm divorced and my friends are on the other side of the country. None of them have kids, so when we do talk on the phone now, we seem to have less to talk about than we used to. It's a lot different than when we lived by each other and could go out for live music or to a party like in the past, before I moved and had a baby.

Additionally, my mom died a few years ago and without any sisters or other family, I've been longing for that connection I had with her. I sometimes wish I could just pick up the phone and tell her about my baby or ask for advice.

I just moved to an even new city in my area a couple of weeks ago, so I think this is all hitting me more lately. I'm sorry you other moms feel the same way, but it is nice to know there are other people I can relate to on here. This is my first post on this site.

I hope you all are having a having a good Saturday night. Hi! 

Hi, and welcome. Where did you move to?


----------



## 106657

BaBaBa, any good news on the car??


----------



## ~D~

Mama2Rio said:


> so i think i missed half a page, i've been so busy lately.
> 
> Maybe some kind of WAHM thing together?! i have to see where i'm at in a month. and yes.. every thing will be good, give yourself & kids time to settle in... hows you dd doing?
> 
> She's doing ok, there are good days and days I wonder how I keep my sanity. If we end up near you, I would totally dig trying the WAHM thing...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> We had originally planned on leaving for AZ on June 13, but my 19 YO stepDD was charged with Minor In Possession. Which is only a misdemeanor, but STILL. Her court date is June 16, and then if she gets probation (not her 1st offense) I don't know what we'll do.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> : Nothing like having to wait to start the rest of your life, ya know??


----------



## 106657

Morning mamas. Today is a beautiful day, and I plan on spending much of it outside. I hope all is well with everyone. Anyone doing anything today?


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
BaBaBa, any good news on the car??

DH managed to talk them into taking 50 % of the labour and got a used part but still $$$. DH's car had major work done in January. So far this year, it seems like he's working just to keep the cars.

We've been sick with a cold but I'm on the mend. Catch up soon...


----------



## Mama2Rio

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~D~* 

She's doing ok, there are good days and days I wonder how I keep my sanity. If we end up near you, I would totally dig trying the WAHM thing...









We had originally planned on leaving for AZ on June 13, but my 19 YO stepDD was charged with Minor In Possession. Which is only a misdemeanor, but STILL. Her court date is June 16, and then if she gets probation (not her 1st offense) I don't know what we'll do.







: Nothing like having to wait to start the rest of your life, ya know??

Ugh!!! hope everything works out... and good luck in court.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *redveg* 
Morning mamas. Today is a beautiful day, and I plan on spending much of it outside. I hope all is well with everyone. Anyone doing anything today?

dd napped too late and now it's just too hot... i wanna be outside still!


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

~D~ said:


> Quote:
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *Mama2Rio*
> so i think i missed half a page, i've been so busy lately.
> 
> Maybe some kind of WAHM thing together?! i have to see where i'm at in a month. and yes.. every thing will be good, give yourself & kids time to settle in... hows you dd doing?
> 
> She's doing ok, there are good days and days I wonder how I keep my sanity. If we end up near you, I would totally dig trying the WAHM thing...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> We had originally planned on leaving for AZ on June 13, but my 19 YO stepDD was charged with Minor In Possession. Which is only a misdemeanor, but STILL. Her court date is June 16, and then if she gets probation (not her 1st offense) I don't know what we'll do.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> : Nothing like having to wait to start the rest of your life, ya know??
> 
> If the whole family is moving you may be able to get probation transferred to a probation officer in AZ. Something to ask the judge about, and then the probation officer. When I interned at a juvenile probation office we did this for a few kids whose family's were moving. Just make sure to follow through - you don't want there to be an open warrant on her if she ever goes back to your home state!
> 
> I'm having a hard time. My BF is taking a class this summer, so I'm on my own for 15hours twice a week. It's awful. I'm exhausted, constantly, I'm not enjoying being a mom. I hate summer weather on the east coast - its way too hot and humid. I'm starting to think I have PPD (actually I'm almost positive I do), but my BF just thinks things shoudl be fine. He keeps telling me that if I don't want to be here to just go home - that his mom will take care of Lincoln. I hate him so much sometimes (BF, not Lincoln). Our relationship has seriously suffered, he's not patient with me anymore at all, he does what he wants when he wants to and I'm stuck here with Lincoln. I just don't like being a mom. I just want to quit, but its not a job that goes away. Ugh. I'm really tired of my life and I wish I could change it but its in a holding pattern right now b/c I can't go to school or work until fall - and even then I'm not doing anything I actually WANT to do, just trying to get some credits.
> 
> I wish this was easier. I wish I had friends. My one friend that I was supposed to see yesterday never called me back. I don't know if she's had her baby yet, but I'm really lonely and don't have anyone to lean on at all. It really sucks.


----------



## ernalala

Hi!

We had family over for two weeks so we were pretty busy with 4 kids ranging 3-5,5yo 

Missed MDC and you all here a little, not too much though. Probably a good thing?










What really struck me though was the now more clear differences (or uhm opposites) in some parenting ways of ours (well, much more than when we all had still infants and/or kids under 3!)... and the slight tension this created. Which was what I feared might happen. I tried hard not to focus on it too much, but that's not easy when someone once in a while tries to use their parenting 'tricks' on your own child because they assure you it 'works' when you clearly don't want or need (well not in other's eyes clearly) this... while you get immediately reactions for just being yourself and having your own approach around your own and their offspring without trying to be coercive regarding their parenting style iykwim. Ahum.
The second week I think we (they  found a better balance in leaving each to their own. But it still bothers one, tbh.
And it doesn't help having a VERY spirited child of your own. Of course, he must change, and of course, he will learn his lessons, and of course it is most likely assumed it is at least partly because of a lack of 'parenting style'







.
Anyway, what has a lot to do with this is also just our general different attitude towards life and living, one family very organised, planning, mainly mathematical kind of style and solutions, and the other more relaxed, go with the flow, flexible, not focusing on solutions/results but on experiencing kind of approach.
We had a good time, it was great to see each other and live things together, to talk, to have fun.
But very very busy!
Not that it's peaceful now at home, lol, not with my two little ones .

Anyway, not too much online in Summer I guess. But I will sure pop in once in a while, especially during the hot weather periods.


----------



## MittensKittens

Thyra, I am so sorry that you are feeling that way. Please get help for yourself. Please don't let anyone, including your BF, tell you that you should just get over it and be happy, because PPD simply doesn't work that way. There are ways to solve it though, as I am sure you know, so please get yourself the help you deserve - if you don't want to for yourself, do it for Lincoln!

Ernalala, nice to see you! That sounds like a pretty stressful experience, I am glad for you its over.

How do you all like the new forum layout? I'm not sure yet. I hate that quick links is not working...


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Thyra, I am so sorry that you are feeling that way. Please get help for yourself. Please don't let anyone, including your BF, tell you that you should just get over it and be happy, because PPD simply doesn't work that way. There are ways to solve it though, as I am sure you know, so please get yourself the help you deserve - if you don't want to for yourself, do it for Lincoln!


I know that I need to get help, but my insurance (stupid medicaid) doesn't cover anything mental health wise, and as students we simply don't have the money. I'm also completely skeptical of therapy, and I just don't see how it could possibly work for me.

Also, when my BF is trying to be supportive (he tries, but he sucks at it) his idea of a solution is for me to leave and go do my thing (mostly what I'm upset about is not being able to pursue things for me right now, all my energy and life goes to Lincoln) while his mom takes care of Lincoln for me. Basically telling me to let my MIL raise my son







How do I convince him that saying this is not supportive and is actually really mean and insensitive?


----------



## ~D~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mama2Rio* 
Ugh!!! hope everything works out... and good luck in court.









dd napped too late and now it's just too hot... i wanna be outside still!


Thanks, I hope she geis probation, though... She needs to learn that there is a drinking age for a reason.







:

Oh please tell me how hot it is... It's barely been 70 here, but waaaay humid. Ok we had a day or two in the mid 70's, but still 40 or so at night







: I feel like I can't wait to get there, but is it really that bad?? I can take the heat, it's just humidity that kills me. Should I be afraid?


----------



## ~D~

thyra said:


> Quote:
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *~D~*
> 
> If the whole family is moving you may be able to get probation transferred to a probation officer in AZ. Something to ask the judge about, and then the probation officer. When I interned at a juvenile probation office we did this for a few kids whose family's were moving. Just make sure to follow through - you don't want there to be an open warrant on her if she ever goes back to your home state!
> 
> *I am a mean stepmom and I hope she gets probation so we can leave her here for the probation. It's a long story but she needs to learn that there are consequences for acting like a jerk.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> :*
> 
> I'm having a hard time. My BF is taking a class this summer, so I'm on my own for 15hours twice a week. It's awful. I'm exhausted, constantly, I'm not enjoying being a mom. I hate summer weather on the east coast - its way too hot and humid. I'm starting to think I have PPD (actually I'm almost positive I do), but my BF just thinks things shoudl be fine. He keeps telling me that if I don't want to be here to just go home - that his mom will take care of Lincoln. I hate him so much sometimes (BF, not Lincoln). Our relationship has seriously suffered, he's not patient with me anymore at all, he does what he wants when he wants to and I'm stuck here with Lincoln. I just don't like being a mom. I just want to quit, but its not a job that goes away. Ugh. I'm really tired of my life and I wish I could change it but its in a holding pattern right now b/c I can't go to school or work until fall - and even then I'm not doing anything I actually WANT to do, just trying to get some credits.
> 
> I wish this was easier. I wish I had friends. My one friend that I was supposed to see yesterday never called me back. I don't know if she's had her baby yet, but I'm really lonely and don't have anyone to lean on at all. It really sucks.
> 
> Oh, mama, i am so sorry...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I suffered from PPD after DS, and I know the feeling.... Maybe you could try a fish oil supplement? I bet FS covers it (if you get them) and it's pretty cheap. A girl I know IRL swears by them for alleviating depression.
> 
> It will get better, just hang in there and stick with the mamas here. Everyone here is just great and we have strong shoulders from holding each other up when we're down


----------



## Mama2Rio

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thyra* 
I'm having a hard time. My BF is taking a class this summer, so I'm on my own for 15hours twice a week. It's awful. I'm exhausted, constantly, I'm not enjoying being a mom. I hate summer weather on the east coast - its way too hot and humid. I'm starting to think I have PPD (actually I'm almost positive I do), but my BF just thinks things shoudl be fine. He keeps telling me that if I don't want to be here to just go home - that his mom will take care of Lincoln. I hate him so much sometimes (BF, not Lincoln). Our relationship has seriously suffered, he's not patient with me anymore at all, he does what he wants when he wants to and I'm stuck here with Lincoln. I just don't like being a mom. I just want to quit, but its not a job that goes away. Ugh. I'm really tired of my life and I wish I could change it but its in a holding pattern right now b/c I can't go to school or work until fall - and even then I'm not doing anything I actually WANT to do, just trying to get some credits.

I wish this was easier. I wish I had friends. My one friend that I was supposed to see yesterday never called me back. I don't know if she's had her baby yet, but I'm really lonely and don't have anyone to lean on at all. It really sucks.

oh mama... hugs! i kind of know where you're at. i'm at the recovery end of the spectrum (something like that). it seems like i care for dd most of the day, all day, every day. dh works nights and sleeps in am.. until he leaves at 1:30 in the afternoon and gets back at 11pm. so he's always home when dd is sleeping. and sometime she still needs a diaper change in the middle of the night and he'll b*tch at me to get it! ugh! i've already been woken up how many times to breastfeed! i guess getting up out of bed won't be that big-of-a-deal.

dd is 11 months now and i finally had some time to get back in touch with myself. i've been sneaking out of the house when dd takes her am nap... dh stays here with her and gets her when she wakes up. she's starting to eat more solids so she's ok if she wakes up and i'm not here to bf her right away. some days i feel like quitting and just about lose it, but i'm doing better now that i've had some time to myself. i've been getting out more too. just going to a local park or the grocery store helps. store time at the library doesn't go so well now that she's walking because she wants to grab the books from the librarian. we get tired of each other if we're home all day. And yes... i hate the humid summers of the east coast! take a day to go to the beach if you can!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~D~* 
Thanks, I hope she geis probation, though... She needs to learn that there is a drinking age for a reason.







:

Oh please tell me how hot it is... It's barely been 70 here, but waaaay humid. Ok we had a day or two in the mid 70's, but still 40 or so at night







: I feel like I can't wait to get there, but is it really that bad?? I can take the heat, it's just humidity that kills me. Should I be afraid?

It's like 104 here during the day, in a few days it should cool off to 95ish







:
can't wait for monsoon season! i really miss rain... i just love the smell of the desert when it rains... aww, now i miss my favorite college bar, the rain desert. i wish there was a smiley hugging a cactus!







:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ernalala* 
Hi!

What really struck me though was the now more clear differences (or uhm opposites) in some parenting ways of ours (well, much more than when we all had still infants and/or kids under 3!)... and the slight tension this created. Which was what I feared might happen. I tried hard not to focus on it too much, but that's not easy when someone once in a while tries to use their parenting 'tricks' on your own child because they assure you it 'works' when you clearly don't want or need (well not in other's eyes clearly) this... while you get immediately reactions for just being yourself and having your own approach around your own and their offspring without trying to be coercive regarding their parenting style iykwim. Ahum.
The second week I think we (they  found a better balance in leaving each to their own. But it still bothers one, tbh.
And it doesn't help having a VERY spirited child of your own. Of course, he must change, and of course, he will learn his lessons, and of course it is most likely assumed it is at least partly because of a lack of 'parenting style'







.
Anyway, what has a lot to do with this is also just our general different attitude towards life and living, one family very organised, planning, mainly mathematical kind of style and solutions, and the other more relaxed, go with the flow, flexible, not focusing on solutions/results but on experiencing kind of approach.
We had a good time, it was great to see each other and live things together, to talk, to have fun.
.

it's almost startling when people seem to "parent" differently at times. now my neighbor is like "how is your dd so well behaved?" and i have been trying to give her tips on teaching "alternative outlets of emotion" for babies. umm... but i was over there and she kind of grabbed/slapped her 13mo's hand... so i was thinking, he's learning to hit from you....







: but to each their own... but i just don't get hitting a baby/toddler when they're just doing what they're going to do, explore. ok, this is why i probably have written a number of people off...but i try not to let it get to me, but it just does! i just don't like my lo to be around this behavior. just try to get along, just try, don't start an argument about parenting. at least my neighbor has been asking me for advice. i am only hoping i can get my neighbor into gd for the child's sake. sorry about my rant! at least you had a fun 2-weeks!


----------



## 106657

Thyra







I had ppd for over 18 months before I went to talk to someone. I didn't think it would help, but it did.


----------



## mulherin

Hi,

So I am in the process of becoming a certified doula. I've done the training, just need to attend the three births to get my certification.

As far as reforming maternity care goes, where to begin is the problem! I know there are so many things that need to be done, but it certainly isn't easy. Perhaps most important is informed consent. Too often women aren't given all the facts about a procedure and are even scared into doing something that really isn't the best for them or their baby, it's just more convenient for the Dr (I'm talking mostly induction and c-sec). I know this was the case with my first, so I guess that's why I feel so strongly about it. I have started to get involved with The Birth Survey (www.thebirthsurvey.com) you should all take it if you haven't yet. It's part of a project called Transparency in Maternity Care. So we'll see where it leads. Unfortunately, I think there is a general feeling by most people in the country that there is nothing wrong with the system as it is now, with all the interventions and such, you know, "why not get the drugs if they are available" type of thing.

I could go on forever about that. I need to read and familiarize myself with you all and what is going on. But I hope you are all having a good week. Look forward to talking more.
Oh, is anyone here gluten-free or have GF kids? My daughter is gluten-free and I'm thinking of just making the whole house GF.

Meghan


----------



## ernalala

Thyra, me too, twice...

Hang in there. It may last longer than you hope for or expect, but one day it'll be past.

It's hard when you have noone to talk too and feel like you cannot even accept yourself to talk to anyone. In that case, doing it online with people who know hat you're dealing with may sure help.

There have been times where I REALLY was the lonely/no friends mama, and I have no sweet words to describe the feeling.


----------



## crabbyowl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thyra* 
...His idea of a solution is for me to leave and go do my thing (mostly what I'm upset about is not being able to pursue things for me right now, all my energy and life goes to Lincoln) while his mom takes care of Lincoln for me.

Why don't you take him/your MIL up on this just for an afternoon? I assume since your DP offers this as a solution that she'd be willing to take care of him for a bit?


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thyra* 

I'm having a hard time. My BF is taking a class this summer, so I'm on my own for 15hours twice a week. It's awful. I'm exhausted, constantly, I'm not enjoying being a mom. I hate summer weather on the east coast - its way too hot and humid. I'm starting to think I have PPD (actually I'm almost positive I do), but my BF just thinks things shoudl be fine. He keeps telling me that if I don't want to be here to just go home - that his mom will take care of Lincoln. I hate him so much sometimes (BF, not Lincoln). Our relationship has seriously suffered, he's not patient with me anymore at all, he does what he wants when he wants to and I'm stuck here with Lincoln. I just don't like being a mom. I just want to quit, but its not a job that goes away. Ugh. I'm really tired of my life and I wish I could change it but its in a holding pattern right now b/c I can't go to school or work until fall - and even then I'm not doing anything I actually WANT to do, just trying to get some credits.

I wish this was easier. I wish I had friends. My one friend that I was supposed to see yesterday never called me back. I don't know if she's had her baby yet, but I'm really lonely and don't have anyone to lean on at all. It really sucks.











I wanna give you a great big hug!

It is so hard being alone with a baby. I know. DH works out of town. He's regularly gone M-F, often gone for a couple of weeks at a time and sometimes for several weeks at a time. Now that DD is 2.5 it's a bit easier but for the first 2 years I was MISERABLE much of the time.

My head accepts that DH needs to work and that his work allows me to stay at home but my heart doesn't care. It's hard to not be left feeling abandoned.

It's okay and completely natural IMO to not enjoy being a mom at certain times or stages. I never dreamt of being a mother like so many other women do. I love DD but I don't love 'being' a mom. Don't get me wrong, I think I'm a very good mom but it's really hard work and so much of it is against my nature. It's okay to feel this way. You are not alone. I don't think women talk about these types of feelings nearly enough for fear of being labeled a 'bad mother'

I confess to not knowing much about PPD. I did have terrible mood swings, and rages and complete and utter breakdown for at least the first year. It could have very well have been PPD or stress or a combination of both.

I don't think our partners can ever do enough for us during the first years. It takes a toll on the relationship for sure but if the foundation is strong and the desire is there you can make it work. But I think you both understand that this is a 'season' of the relationship. It will pass.

You need to tell him exactly what you need from him. I sympathize with men a bit on this because they are on the sidelines and just need to know how to help. But, they need to be taught. I am guilty myself of expecting DH to be a mind reader and know how to help me. You could be feeling so emotionally and mentally frazzled right now that you don't even know where to start. Perhaps scheduling 'breaks' for you where he takes Lincoln for a few hours and you get some alone time would be a good place to start. In my experience it doesn't happen unless you schedule it. We waited far to long to implement this and it helped me immensely.

Here are some more tips that come to mind about parenting a LO with an absent partner:

-You come first! You are no good to Lincoln if you aren't taken care of. Explain this to BF. In order to be the mother you want to be you need to be rested, nourished and supported. Forget about the housework! Nap when he naps or just do whatever recharges you but don't you lift a finger during those precious nap times.

-Try to prepare meals in advance that you can freeze so that cooking is one less thing you need to worry about the day. Prepare them when BF is home and make double batches. Have healthy snacks around. There will be days you're just to busy to have a proper meal. It's not ideal but it happens so be prepared.

-If you don't enjoy grocery shopping or doing other errands with LO then make sure you (or BF) does them before he goes away. Just one less thing you need to worry about.

-Is there anyone that can come to you? My MIL comes once a week to take DD off my hands for a bit. I'm especially lucky that she brings prepared food with her. Could your MIL do that? Or what about hiring a mother's helper? I understand reservations about childcare. MIL is only person I would leave DD with but a helper would be there just to assist you.

-Do you have a carrier that works for you? It's the only way to get stuff done. And if you're not already cosleeping it really helps with the nights

-Do try to get some sunlight and fresh air everyday. It goes a long way.

-Have you found any playgroups in your area? The interaction and stimulation can help alleviate stress.

-Think one day at a time right now. Lower your expectations of what you want to accomplish (in a day, weeks or months) and just focus on the moments. It took me 2 years to figure that one out and I still struggle with it sometimes.

We're here for you


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *crabbyowl* 
Why don't you take him/your MIL up on this just for an afternoon? I assume since your DP offers this as a solution that she'd be willing to take care of him for a bit?

I do get her to babysit occasionally, and she's really wonderful. What he is talking about though is me moving home permanently, and his mom stepping in as Lincoln's main care provider - on a permanent level. For an afternoon of babysitting she's fantastic - she agree's with my parenting style, she adores Lincoln and would do anything for him. But on a permanent basis? I am his mother, she is not. (this is how I respond to my BF - I know that you didn't intend to offend, my post wasn't exactly clear on what he was saying)


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thyra* 
I do get her to babysit occasionally, and she's really wonderful. What he is talking about though is me moving home permanently, and his mom stepping in as Lincoln's main care provider - on a permanent level. For an afternoon of babysitting she's fantastic - she agree's with my parenting style, she adores Lincoln and would do anything for him. But on a permanent basis? I am his mother, she is not. (this is how I respond to my BF - I know that you didn't intend to offend, my post wasn't exactly clear on what he was saying)

yeah, BF was totally outta line on that suggestion. Unacceptable. But how far away does she live? Could she help out on regular basis?


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## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thyra* 
I do get her to babysit occasionally, and she's really wonderful. What he is talking about though is me moving home permanently, and his mom stepping in as Lincoln's main care provider - on a permanent level. For an afternoon of babysitting she's fantastic - she agree's with my parenting style, she adores Lincoln and would do anything for him. But on a permanent basis? I am his mother, she is not. (this is how I respond to my BF - I know that you didn't intend to offend, my post wasn't exactly clear on what he was saying)

I am so sorry mama, that you are having to deal with that. I can't imagine that handing care of your son over to someone else can help you with PPD! Please listen to yourself and get help. I don't know if you have posted in the PPD section here but I am sure that the women there can help you find resources, or at least offer an understanding ear. I am so sorry your BF is doesn't understand your needs














.

I have never had PPD but I am still trying to cope with PTSD and it is not easy. I second BaBaBa's comments about making sure you get outside and soak up some fresh air and sunlight every day - it really helps me. If you feel you really need it, you can think about St Johns wort. You are not supposed to take it while nursing really, but I know some moms here who do, and it has really helped them lots. Obviously do your research on this one first though.

Mamas, DD has just gone to sleep in her own bed for the first time. She wanted to, out of the blue. I feel so sad, my baby is growing up... I wonder if she'll want to sleep by herself again tomorrow.


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
yeah, BF was totally outta line on that suggestion. Unacceptable. But how far away does she live? Could she help out on regular basis?

She lives about an hour from us - right near where my BF's summer internship is. So, once she finishes teaching for the year (in a few weeks, then she'll be officially retired!







: ) BF will be taking Lincoln to her house 2x per week to babysit while I work on a paper that is due at the end of the summer.

Thanks for all the other suggestions too BaBaBa! I try to get outside every day, but the weather here has been pretty awful for the past few days. I'm also starting my period which always makes things worse. I can't believe I got my regular cycle back at 11 weeks pp - EBF'ing, soooo annoying!

I do have a carrier, but its getting hot so the Ergo isn't always comfy. I'm learning how to use the Kozy though, so hopefully that will be better for the hot days.

I've looked for playgroups in my area, and I can't really find any. I know there are some that are in Manhattan, but the subway in the summer with a hot baby doesn't sound like fun. Especially since both Lincoln and I tend to be hot weather haters.

Oh man, and this weekend! We have to visit with BF's family (I love them, but they are a bit much sometimes) b/c his mom's retirement dinner is this weekend and everyone is going to be there (including his 94yo great aunt, a few other aunts and uncles, etc) and everyone wants to see Lincoln. But Lincoln and I don't do well in large crowds. I should say that *I* don't do well in large crowds, and when I don't do well neither does Lincoln. Ugh, and all these extended family members always feel the need to tell me my baby is spoiled which brings out mama bear and I really don't like that!

Thanks for the support everyone! I appreciate it. I'm sure I'll make it through, it just seems impossible some days.


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

~D~ said:


> Quote:
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *thyra*
> 
> Oh, mama, i am so sorry...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I suffered from PPD after DS, and I know the feeling.... Maybe you could try a fish oil supplement? I bet FS covers it (if you get them) and it's pretty cheap. A girl I know IRL swears by them for alleviating depression.
> 
> It will get better, just hang in there and stick with the mamas here. Everyone here is just great and we have strong shoulders from holding each other up when we're down
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> For your sake then I hope she gets probation too! I can understand the feeling of wanting people to know why there is a drinking age, and I hope things go ok! Let us know.
> 
> I need to start taking my fish oil supplement again, I took them pretty regularly when I was pregnant, and now I'm not taking them (BF bought the gross liquid kind - I liked the pill form that didn't make me burp fish). I'm also trying to change my diet a little so that I'm getting enough good fats and enough protein since I read that can help too. Thanks.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thyra* 
She lives about an hour from us - right near where my BF's summer internship is. So, once she finishes teaching for the year (in a few weeks, then she'll be officially retired!







: ) BF will be taking Lincoln to her house 2x per week to babysit while I work on a paper that is due at the end of the summer.

Thanks for all the other suggestions too BaBaBa! I try to get outside every day, but the weather here has been pretty awful for the past few days. I'm also starting my period which always makes things worse. I can't believe I got my regular cycle back at 11 weeks pp - EBF'ing, soooo annoying!

Oh man, and this weekend! We have to visit with BF's family (I love them, but they are a bit much sometimes) b/c his mom's retirement dinner is this weekend and everyone is going to be there (including his 94yo great aunt, a few other aunts and uncles, etc) and everyone wants to see Lincoln. But Lincoln and I don't do well in large crowds. I should say that *I* don't do well in large crowds, and when I don't do well neither does Lincoln. Ugh, and all these extended family members always feel the need to tell me my baby is spoiled which brings out mama bear and I really don't like that!


That sounds like a great arrangement with BF's mom. You have so much on your plate with school and a baby. You are amazing!









I hear ya on the AF thing.







11 weeks?!?! that's just not fair! It was 9 months for me but I was really expecting a year. I shudder to think of the things I said/threatened/felt during PMS and actually still do experience. It's a real problem but it took many months for me to figure out. (Poor DH!)

Good luck on the week end. I loathe those events too.

Hang in there


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## Mama2Rio

thyra i totally agree with this...

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
yeah, BF was totally outta line on that suggestion. Unacceptable. But how far away does she live? Could she help out on regular basis?


Quote:


Originally Posted by *thyra* 
I do have a carrier, but its getting hot so the Ergo isn't always comfy. I'm learning how to use the Kozy though, so hopefully that will be better for the hot days.

I've looked for playgroups in my area, and I can't really find any. I know there are some that are in Manhattan, but the subway in the summer with a hot baby doesn't sound like fun. Especially since both Lincoln and I tend to be hot weather haters.









i'm hopefully get a new carrier from dh's co-worker, i only have an ergo right now, and it can get uncomfortable in the heat for too long. eek! i hate the subway in the summer, it has more of that "smell" in the summer. have you checked out meetup.com to find a group... maybe a group in your area where you won't have to take the subway. good luck.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Mamas, DD has just gone to sleep in her own bed for the first time. She wanted to, out of the blue. I feel so sad, my baby is growing up... I wonder if she'll want to sleep by herself again tomorrow.

she'll still need you for years to come! time goes so fast.


----------



## ~D~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Mamas, DD has just gone to sleep in her own bed for the first time. She wanted to, out of the blue. I feel so sad, my baby is growing up... I wonder if she'll want to sleep by herself again tomorrow.


DD(11) & DS(8) still want to sleep with me-and if I had a bed big enough for all 4 of us, they would more often... So don't worry or be sad, she will probably be right back with you tomorrow. I would be willing to put $$ on it.


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## BaBaBa

So, MK, how'd the night go?

Thyra, a thought about summer carriers... Last summer I used a sling made of solarveil. Although it's designed for the beach or the pool it was my main carrier. It's light, airy and you have the added bonus of UV protection.


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## Super~Single~Mama

I figured out how to do the hip-hold in the hotsling!! Lincoln isn't quite big enough for it, but in a few weeks he'll probably be able to do it for longer periods!

Also, just b/c he's the prettiest baby I know I HAD to share a super cute picture of him!

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?...09&id=44500489

MittensKittens - how was your DD last night? Did she go to sleep on her own again?


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## MittensKittens

I am so sorry that I cant access that picture because I am not on facebook, Thyra! Any other method of sharing it? Also, if anyone wants to become my friend on Flickr, that would be fun! These are my babies.

I second BaBaBa on the solarveil, although one has to get it on ebay or make it themselves since solarveil is no longer made. I have also found the MT to be fine - it's been REALLY hot over here and as long as I don't put anything on baby except for a dipe and a hat, we're just fine. I have never liked slings much.

DD slept in the small bed all night. She woke up once, and I woke up because she was talking to me... ....asking for her BEAR! This morning she woke up, smiled and said "I slept great, you mommy?"


----------



## BaBaBa

Thyra, I had a hotsling (one of my many carriers







) It was great. Side carry will free you up considerably.

I'm not on facebook either although now I'm tempted to reactivate my account...

MK, do you know why they don't make solarveil anymore? Seems like a great innovation in fabric.

Your children are stunning!

That's great about DD. I know you're sad about it right now but think of the confident, self assured, independent little girl you've raised. And a big wet raspberry to all the co sleeping critics who says it spoils the child and they'll never sleep on their own.:nana:


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## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
I second BaBaBa on the solarveil, although one has to get it on ebay or make it themselves since solarveil is no longer made. I have also found the MT to be fine - it's been REALLY hot over here and as long as I don't put anything on baby except for a dipe and a hat, we're just fine. I have never liked slings much.

DD slept in the small bed all night. She woke up once, and I woke up because she was talking to me... ....asking for her BEAR! This morning she woke up, smiled and said "I slept great, you mommy?"

She slept by herself again? I'm not ready for Lincoln to sleep by himself yet. I like him being in bed with me even though he snuggles with BF all night long.

We'll definitely try the MT soon, today its just dumping rain. Ugh.

I'll try to post the picture again later today, I'll have to load it onto another website since i'm not sure how to post them here any other way.


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## Super~Single~Mama

Ok. picture attempt take 2. These are on Snapfish, and it said I could share them with these links....I hope it works!

http://www2.snapfish.com/slideshow/A...NAME=snapfish/

http://www2.snapfish.com/slideshow/A...NAME=snapfish/

These were taken recently, and I love them!

BaBaBa and MK your kiddo's are so cute!


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## MittensKittens

Lincoln is great, he's got such a stunning smile! And you and DD are absolutely gorgeous, BBB (assuming that's your pic of course!).

DK about the solarveil, there is a place on hyena cart where it is still available by the yard, if you want to, I'll PM you the link. Which is your fave carrier, BBB?


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## MittensKittens

I'll see if DD wants to sleep alone again. Probably not though, it's thunder and lightening again here, which usually means a power cut too. And Thyra, Lincoln is about the same age as my DS, right? If he wanted to sleep by himself too I'd just have to... ...ehm... ...find a man!? (no, not really!)


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## MittensKittens

Where are you all? I've been without internet for a couple days and I figured there was a lot to catch up on... not so! What have you been up to for the weekend? It has been lovely weather here and we've been enjoying ourselves. And today my ^&[email protected]@£* lawyer apparently finally took some action and I am hoping my son will have a BC soon. My aunt is coming to visit in two weeks! I am really looking forward to it.


----------



## ~D~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Where are you all? I've been without internet for a couple days and I figured there was a lot to catch up on... not so! What have you been up to for the weekend? It has been lovely weather here and we've been enjoying ourselves. And today my ^&[email protected]@£* lawyer apparently finally took some action and I am hoping my son will have a BC soon. My aunt is coming to visit in two weeks! I am really looking forward to it.

Hey mama!! Here I am!!







Grandparents are here from NJ to visit before we leave to AZ so that's what's going on here. How's DD been doing with the lone sleeping trial?? Great news on the BC for DS, congrats!!


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

I'm having a bad day. BF and I fought last night when Lincoln wouldn't go back to sleep at 3am. I was up until 5:30 with him - I think he had a tummy ache.

Then this morning I found out that there is a penalty for withdrawing from classes the first week and its half the bill - $1800!! I don't have the money, so I don't know what to do. The thing thats frustrating is that I TRIED to drop the classes before that, but the stupid internet sign up thingy wouldn't let me. So now I'm in big trouble b/c the money is due next monday and I just don't know what to do.

It just feels like its one thing after another right now.














:


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

OMG - Lincoln fell off the bed! He was napping in our bed, and we always put pillows on either side of him so that he won't roll over, well, he pushed the pillow off the bed (I can't believe he's that strong! They are memory foam, so not exactly light weight!) and rolled off the bed, onto the pillow! Scared the life out of me, but he's acting like his usual happy self, so I think he's ok.

Could my day get any worse?


----------



## ~kitnkaboodle~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thyra* 
OMG - Lincoln fell off the bed! He was napping in our bed, and we always put pillows on either side of him so that he won't roll over, well, he pushed the pillow off the bed (I can't believe he's that strong! They are memory foam, so not exactly light weight!) and rolled off the bed, onto the pillow! Scared the life out of me, but he's acting like his usual happy self, so I think he's ok.

Could my day get any worse?

That's horrible but thankfully he fell on a pillow and he's ok.


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~D~* 
Hey mama!! Here I am!!







Grandparents are here from NJ to visit before we leave to AZ so that's what's going on here. How's DD been doing with the lone sleeping trial?? Great news on the BC for DS, congrats!!

Are those your parents or your ILs? How are you enjoying the visit?

DD is back to sleeping with me and DS







:. We're supposed to go to the embassy today and frankly I am freaking out over it. I am contemplating just sending my lawyer there rather than coming as well, but I think that they might not like that, plus I actually know the law better. We'll see what happens...

Thyra, I am so sorry! DD fell off the bed once as well, and she is just fine. I am sure it happened to a lot of our kids at some stage.


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

MK - good luck at the embassy! I hope it all goes well!

Lincoln seems to doing fine since his little incident. He's also trying really hard to army crawl, but he can't actually go anywhere yet. I feel like I have limited time with a baby who can't go anywhere. I should really start baby-proofing hard core.


----------



## BaBaBa

I'm back!
We went to the inlaws on the weekend and went to see Cyrano de Bergerac







:







:







: It's been so long since I've seen a play. It was so romantic but it left me a little melancholic.

Now, I'm just crabby and in a funk







. Maybe it's the lousy cold, wet weather we keep having. DH is probably glad to have left me. I'm actually glad to get some alone time. I need it!


----------



## Mama2Rio

hey mamas, just checking in. we're getting pre-approved for a house right now and we're still looking for a house, i'm still looking for a job, and DD just had her 3rd tooth pop up! dd also had an allergic reaction to apricots of all things! we've been busy here. i'm taking her to the toy store for "farm day" i think they're going to have a baby pig and calf, she's going to love it! i lost my camera, so i'm sad, hopefully i'll find it before we leave this afternoon.


----------



## BaBaBa

'Farm day' at the toy store sounds like a lot of fun!

(I think I enjoy toy shopping more than DD does)


----------



## Mama2Rio

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
'Farm day' at the toy store sounds like a lot of fun!

(I think I enjoy toy shopping more than DD does)

DD had fun... she liked most of the animals until she got licked by a calf, and she got scared! the cow liked her a lot!


----------



## MittensKittens

hey mamas

Just checking in to say good morning (well, morning here!). Great you had such a nice time, BaBaBa.

Farm day sounds like fun! I wish we had things like that here. I'm supposed to go to the embassy today with a witness. I was in there for over an hour yesterday just trying to make the appointment to get the witness statement taken. The witness has to confirm he knows my address and that I was pregnant, despite I already have the dna test results. I hope we will be out of there in no time but I have a feeling we will be there all day. Please send the bureaucrats some feel good and work fast vibes for me







.

What is the weather like in all of your towns and cities? It is burning hot here and about to get worse.

Oh, anyone participating in that "scavenger hunt" MDC has?


----------



## Mama2Rio

MK... where in the world do they think you got your baby from?! and the whole witness thing ... aahh... i just hope the best for you. is the dna test almost back,? i think i remember you saying itwas going to take 6 weeks (a few weeks ago)... it's just crazy they're putting you through all that! and it's hot here too! it cooled off into the 90's this week, i know 110's are right around the corner!


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mama2Rio* 
MK... where in the world do they think you got your baby from?! and the whole witness thing ... aahh... i just hope the best for you. is the dna test almost back,? i think i remember you saying itwas going to take 6 weeks (a few weeks ago)... it's just crazy they're putting you through all that! and it's hot here too! it cooled off into the 90's this week, i know 110's are right around the corner!

Yes, the whole issue is solved!!! DNA test was back already but that was still not enough proof for them... Anyway, it's over now and I'm waiting for the birth cert. Funny, the statement "I" made consisted of the details I had given earlier and that left the biggest impression on them. It was very short and the most important part seemed to be "I cut the umbilical cord with a knife". That just fascinated them. Where my baby comes from? Maybe I should have had them put in "I delivered my son from my VAGINA" as part of the statement as well?







Anyway, it is all over now







:.

I haven't seen redveg for a while here, where are you mama? Are you OK?


----------



## BaBaBa

I'm glad it all worked out MK. How surreal the whole experience must seem.


----------



## 106657

Hello mamas. Boy things have been crazy here. I haven't had time to get on the computer. I am so glad it is Friday. I am again on my way out the door gotta take the kids to the dentist. I hope I can catch up later this weekend. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. By the way the pics of the little ones are beautiful!! I miss babies.


----------



## BaBaBa

Thyra, I finally got a chance to load your pics!

Lincoln is an absolute doll!


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mama2Rio* 
MK... where in the world do they think you got your baby from?! and the whole witness thing ... aahh... i just hope the best for you. is the dna test almost back,? i think i remember you saying itwas going to take 6 weeks (a few weeks ago)... it's just crazy they're putting you through all that! and it's hot here too! it cooled off into the 90's this week, i know 110's are right around the corner!









:

Geez MK, I'm so glad that the whole thing is over now!! I can't imagine having to prove that my own son is actually mine!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Thyra, I finally got a chance to load your pics!

Lincoln is an absolute doll!









Thanks! I think so too... So is your little girl btw - everytime I see pictures of older kids it makes me think that Lincoln is going to be that big someday and kinda makes me sad.

He's trying to crawl now. It's absolutely adorable!! He can't lift his torso off the ground yet, so he does the army crawl thing, but he has ot concentrate really hard, so he ends up dropping his head into the bed and then using his legs to throw himself forward! It's SO funny! I need to take a video of it so that I can put it on youtube. It's really the funniest thing I've ever seen.

Things here are settling down a little, but its going to get shaken up again soon. BF might go to the Lakers/Magic game on Sunday, his best friend can get him tickets, then Lincoln and I are leaving on Wednesday to see my parents. Life is insane. Then we have to figure out when to do fathers day since we were going to do it this weekend (and still might if BF decides not to go to the game), but we're going to be gone next weekend so I don't know.

I really can't wait to see my parents! I love spending time with them - my dad is going to be very surprised with Lincoln though since he hasn't seen him in 4.5months! He's changed so much its hard to believe he's the same kid!


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thyra* 
He's trying to crawl now. It's absolutely adorable!! He can't lift his torso off the ground yet, so he does the army crawl thing, but he has ot concentrate really hard, so he ends up dropping his head into the bed and then using his legs to throw himself forward! It's SO funny! I need to take a video of it so that I can put it on youtube. It's really the funniest thing I've ever seen.

I really can't wait to see my parents! I love spending time with them - my dad is going to be very surprised with Lincoln though since he hasn't seen him in 4.5months! He's changed so much its hard to believe he's the same kid!

I know, the trying to crawl phase is so cute. Sasha is doing push up kinda movements right now, and he's also going places, though I haven't noticed his technique exactly







.

I hope you'll have lots of fun seeing your parents and that the flight with Lincoln will be fine (I'm sure it will!). How have you been feeling this week? Feel free to come on here and vent if you need to, I know I do!

Redveg, sorry you have been so busy. Hope you will get time to wind down this weekend.

BaBaBa, how are you, what are you up to?

I went to see another mom with to kids yesterday together with the mama I met here on MDC. I had fun, and we did have some in common - besides the woman was very nice generally. BUT... Her DD kept pushing and hitting my DD and the poor thing got pretty scared. I guess it is something she needs to learn to deal with though. Anyway, this girl's mom kept hitting her and telling her she was "not a good girl at all", I have to say I felt a bit sorry for the girl. What do you do when you see stuff like that happening?


----------



## ithappened

Hi Everyone! Is it ok if I join in?

I know I am about 84 pages late but here I am.

I am in the no friends/lonely club. Heres my story;

I was living in the PNW of the US for about 5 years before I decided to go to grad school, I had some of the best girlfriends I have ever had there. It was really hard to leave. I moved to a big east coast city, went to grad school, made a few really good friends in the process and also met my husband. We lived in the city for a few years and then (I)/we decided it was time to leave (ok, so city life wasn't for me) and we took the plunge to move to Europe (to a city/town where my DH is origionally from).

I love it here but not being fluent in the language yet has made meeting people hard. There are some expat groups and I have met a few nice women from them, but they are so different then me, its been hard to click. We do have my husband friends but they are all childless and 30 going on 16 which gets old for me fast.

Anyhow, so I'm pregnant with our first, I have no real friends or family within a 10 hour flight of us and I'd love to know I'm not alone, which by the number of pages here, I hope I'm not


----------



## MittensKittens

Hey ithappened, welcome! Where are you living? Did you move recently? I know it can be difficult to settle into a new country, but it does get better! I've never liked the expat communities anywhere much, but perhaps you can post in your tribal area to see if there are any other MDC-ers? Oh, congrats on your pregnancy!


----------



## Shane

Ithappened - Congratulations on your being pg! That's awesome.
You are not alone. Welcome!

Hey Y'all! Sorry I haven't been on here in a while. I think I may have mentioned a few pages back how summer really takes hold of me and I really get away from the computer. Plus Dh and I have been working on our marriage, and I'm trying to respect the fact that he doesn't like me spending much time on the computer.

Things are looking up for Dh and I. We are going to this class called Intimate Encounters put on by a church we used to go to, and it's really helping. I hope our marriage continues to get better once the 11 week class is over. We're halfway through right now.

I invited a little girl over for our very first official playdate at our house. We had been invited to this little girl's house when the Mama was hosting a Juicy Juice party and didn't have enough people attending, so she extended an offer to me via email. She's on another site that I frequent for mamas in my area. We hit it off at her house, in fact she insisted that we come back just a few days later. Then I invited her over to my house and she came and even though I'm not nearly as wealthy as her family is I didn't feel the need to be ashamed of my home. Anyway, she won't return any of my emails now.







I don't know why. I want to ask her so badly, but I think I'll just come off as desperate (which I kinda am) and that's not going to help anything. I swore I wouldn't care anyway because her daughter needs socialization and yelled at my kids a few times, 'causing them to cry once because they wanted to pet their own dog. So really, I don't want her coming around much, 'cause I don't like to see my children being yelled at like that by another child, but I want her to want to be my friend. KWIM? So pathetic, I know.

Well I just wanted to stop in and say hi to my friends, because I have been missing you guys. Gotta go finish making a dress now, then plant some Mammoth Sunflower seeds. Happy Day Everyone!


----------



## MittensKittens

Hey Shane

Glad to hear your marriage is getting better, and that you have found the right help for you. I can understand DH wanting you to stay off the computer







. I know how you feel about the playdate thing, BTDT and it makes you feel pathetic... but it may just be that the other mom 1) is terrible at organizing herself or is very busy, or 2) is ashamed about the way her kids behaved towards yours. Just saying, and perhaps she'll still call.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
BaBaBa, how are you, what are you up to?

I went to see another mom with to kids yesterday together with the mama I met here on MDC. I had fun, and we did have some in common - besides the woman was very nice generally. BUT... Her DD kept pushing and hitting my DD and the poor thing got pretty scared. I guess it is something she needs to learn to deal with though. Anyway, this girl's mom kept hitting her and telling her she was "not a good girl at all", I have to say I felt a bit sorry for the girl. What do you do when you see stuff like that happening?

Not much exciting happening here. I am sleeping a lot! I don't feel fatigued but I have no problem going to bed at 8, waking up at 8 and sleeping a couple hours when DD naps. I wonder what it is?

Thats an uncomfortable situation. Maybe the other mom was embarassed with her DD's behaviour and didn't know how to deal with it. I don't think you can do much about it other than wait for an opportunity to share more positive parenting techniques. (aren't you afraid she'll see you comments here?)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ithappened* 
Hi Everyone! Is it ok if I join in?











Come on in!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shane* 
Then I invited her over to my house and she came and even though I'm not nearly as wealthy as her family is I didn't feel the need to be ashamed of my home. Anyway, she won't return any of my emails now.







I don't know why. I want to ask her so badly, but I think I'll just come off as desperate (which I kinda am) and that's not going to help anything. I swore I wouldn't care anyway because her daughter needs socialization and yelled at my kids a few times, 'causing them to cry once because they wanted to pet their own dog. So really, I don't want her coming around much, 'cause I don't like to see my children being yelled at like that by another child, but I want her to want to be my friend. KWIM? So pathetic, I know.

Well I just wanted to stop in and say hi to my friends, because I have been missing you guys. Gotta go finish making a dress now, then plant some Mammoth Sunflower seeds. Happy Day Everyone!

Nice to hear from you







:!

I can't imagine that's the reason you haven't heard from her. If it is, you are better off without her.

I have Mammoth Sunflower seeds too! I haven't got them in the ground yet and I don't think I ever will









Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
... but it may just be that the other mom 1) is terrible at organizing herself or is very busy, or 2) is ashamed about the way her kids behaved towards yours. Just saying, and perhaps she'll still call.

yes!


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Thats an uncomfortable situation. Maybe the other mom was embarassed with her DD's behaviour and didn't know how to deal with it. I don't think you can do much about it other than wait for an opportunity to share more positive parenting techniques. (aren't you afraid she'll see you comments here?)

No, well, perhaps my "MDC friend" will read this, but her friend, the woman we went to see. definitely won't. The thing is, I really liked her, we exchanged numbers etc, but this was the uncomfy bit. Also my DD is a very sensitive soul, easily hurt.

How do your kids *addresses mamas with small kids/toddlers* interact with other children? Do you think that, for those who are expats, that affects your kids' behavior a lot? Actually my DD mainly speaks the local language but still gets confused at times.

BaBaBa, I am soooo tired too right now. It has "attacked" me late afternoon for the past couple days, out of nowhere. Perhaps we have swine flu


----------



## BaBaBa

Oh! I misunderstood. I thought you were talking about the MDC mama which didn't make sense to me but I'm









Maybe it's the lousy cold, damp weather or maybe I'm a bit depressed. I dunno.

DD is pretty good with other kids except we went through a terrible stage where she would attack babies! It was very embarrassing and hard to correct at that age. I just had to watch her like a hawk, hovering over her and intercept before she struck. Even if she saw a picture of a baby she would hit it. Thankfully that is over although now I am beginning to suspect that she does not like her personal space being entered. She gets quite defensive. We may have a future introvert!


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Oh! I misunderstood. I thought you were talking about the MDC mama which didn't make sense to me but I'm









Maybe it's the lousy cold, damp weather or maybe I'm a bit depressed. I dunno.

DD is pretty good with other kids except we went through a terrible stage where she would attack babies! It was very embarrassing and hard to correct at that age. I just had to watch her like a hawk, hovering over her and intercept before she struck. Even if she saw a picture of a baby she would hit it. Thankfully that is over although now I am beginning to suspect that she does not like her personal space being entered. She gets quite defensive. We may have a future introvert!

I am so sorry, but the part about your DD hitting pictures of babies had me LOL (ew... that is the first time I actually use that particular abbreviation. I don't like it!). It has been raining here too. I am still without energy although I did do the flylady stuff for today







- otherwise my house would be a total mess by now.

What are you having for dinner? I got some mung beans and trying to work out what to do with them. Perhaps bean soup. But DD makes a total mess out of soup.


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## BaBaBa

Pasta Puttanesca (sans the anchovies







) and DH is cooking not me. It's an old stand by I think we're bringing out of retirement. (I hope!)

How is flylady? Do you like it? I have my own OCD sorta wayof working around the house. It's not perfect but either am I *LOL*!!!!









What's BTDT? You used it earlier.


----------



## BaBaBa

ooooooooh!

I just had the idea of going to the Drive In Movies tonight....

I wonder how that would go with DD?


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## MittensKittens

Did you go to the drive in movie in the end? BTDT is been there, done that







. I like flylady. I don't do everything that they tell me to (like getting dressed to your shoes, haha, don't wanna ruin my wooden floor!) but it's helped me a lot. I like the timer method too. Oh, I love Pasta Puttanesca, I hope you enjoyed the meal and not cooking it!


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## ithappened

MittensKittens- Thanks! I'm from Austria and as far as I know, there aren't any other MDCers here.


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## BaBaBa

Nah, we didn't go. DH and DD fell asleep on the couch after supper. The movie started late at 9:30. Too bad, a Ben Stiller comedy is right up my alley right now.

Austria....







: Just thinking of all those pastry shops is making me salivate!


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## ithappened

BaBaBa-

Luckily Im not big on the pastries but the cheese and cake really did me in when we first moved here!!


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## BaBaBa

What's that tasty Austrian cake called.... is it sacher torte?

I make this Austrian dish called krautfleckrn. It's basically just fried onions, cabbages and egg noodles. It's sooooo good, especially on cold winter days. I joke that I'm going to start a krautfleckern truck instead of all the chip trucks around here.

Have you seen the Lippanzaner horses in Vienna?


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## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 









What's that tasty Austrian cake called.... is it sacher torte?

I make this Austrian dish called krautfleckrn. It's basically just fried onions, cabbages and egg noodles. It's sooooo good, especially on cold winter days. I joke that I'm going to start a krautfleckern truck instead of all the chip trucks around here.

Have you seen the Lippanzaner horses in Vienna?

That sounds pretty OK. Recipe?







:

What are you up to this afternoon?


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## BaBaBa

Recipe:
Krautfleckerln
(Cabbage and Noodles)

Square egg noodles, called fleckerln, an Austrian favourite, are the basis of this dish. Wide egg noodles work just as well. Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil over high heat. Meanwhile, thinly slice 1 large peeled yellow onion and set aside. Thinly slice 1/2 head cored cabbage and set aside. Melt 6 tbsp butter and 1 tbsp vegetable oil together in a large heavy skillet over medium-high heat. Add onions and cook, stirring often, until lightly browned, 6-8 minutes. Add cabbage, season to taste with salt and freshly ground black pepper and cook, stirring often, until cabbage begins to brown, 5-8 minutes. Cook 1/2 lb wide egg noodles in boiling water until just cooked through, 6 - 8 minutes. Drain noodles, add to skillet with cabbage and cook, stirring often, for 5 minutes more. Adjust seasonings. Serves 6.

The recipe is from a Christmas in Vienna issue of Saveur magazine. Just about the only thing suitable for vegetarians at Viennese Christmas, well, other than the desserts









Despite a rocky start to the day when I got really angry with DH it was thoroughly enjoyable. Just the right mix of relaxation, housework and gardening. Almost a perfect day.

...and for supper chickpea, coconut, green onion curry with rice







:

Boy, we talk about food a lot!


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## ithappened

yeah the torte and strudel! those both really do it for me and lately all I want is kasespatzel (which is like an austrian version of mac and cheese).

as for vegetarians here, I find it sort of hit and miss. Often times cafes will have dishes with tofu but they mix the tofu in with meat (this is really common) and drives me nuts..

As for food, I should stop talking about it, I can't stop eating as it is


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## MittensKittens

Yeah, I'm a real foodie and food is one of my favorite topics of conversation as well as my favorite pastime... haha







. The curry sounds pretty nice! But beware... when we go off topic we might get posts deleted and "reminders" sent to us







. Actually the great thing abut this thread is that nothing is really off topic, I guess!

What are your plans for today? I am going to finish up sewing a shirt for DS, after making a nice breakfast... there's the food thing again... and then I don't really know. It is too hot here to really do much. My hand mixer broke 







:, so no muffins for now







.


----------



## ithappened

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
What are your plans for today?

Not sure, since my big contract got canceled I don't have any work for another week or so. Which is both nice (free time) but also means no income :sad

I might go to the vintage/second hand shop in town, try some new recipes (no idea what yet but I have a bunch of soaking chickpeas which need to be eaten) and wait for the rain to stop so maybe I can go out for a hike or walk later. . .


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## BaBaBa

tofu mixed with meat?!







: that's just WRONG! Are you vegetarian too? There's a lot of us here.

I don't think the mods care what we talk about. I'm sure they don't even know we exist









I'm feeling pretty lazy today but I only had a quick nap after lunch. We spend the morning looking at turtles, frogs a snake and uh.... road kill uke

We should go grocery shopping when DD wakes up. The 25 minute drive into town is such a bore.

ahhhhh, ithappened, you have me reminiscing about the pregnancy days


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## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
I know, the trying to crawl phase is so cute. Sasha is doing push up kinda movements right now, and he's also going places, though I haven't noticed his technique exactly







.

I hope you'll have lots of fun seeing your parents and that the flight with Lincoln will be fine (I'm sure it will!). How have you been feeling this week? Feel free to come on here and vent if you need to, I know I do!


Sasha is starting to move around too? How old is he? Or is Sasha a she? (I don't remember, sorry!!) I think they are around the same age, but I don't remember. Lincoln is doing push ups too - he can also play with his toys while staying on his tummy now! His sleep all last week was horrible - I was dying of fatigue cause he just did.not.sleep - but then on Saturday when I went to LLL meeting he sat up on his own (using his hands to prop himself of course) for the first time, then he started playing with his toys while laying on his belly, doing multiple rolls at once, and started really moving when he tries to crawl. No wonder his sleep was awful - he was working on doing so many things!

I've been feeling a little better this weekend. We've been visiting my in laws - which is actually really nice for the most part. I also took Lincoln on a crazy long walk today, which was really nice. I bought him some new toys too - a few teethers, some bath toys, and we had to get some stuff for the flight. I really hope the flight goes well - I can't wait to see my family!

We also celebrated fathers day yesterday since I'll be gone this weekend. We had a good day, we went to breakfast with my MIL, then I gave BF his gifts - the mug that BaBaBa showed me a few weeks ago, and a frame that says "Daddy&Me". He liked it so I was happy! I LOVE giving people presents - much more than getting presents actually, so I'm always really excited when the recipient likes them.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ithappened* 
Hi Everyone! Is it ok if I join in?

I know I am about 84 pages late but here I am.

I am in the no friends/lonely club. Heres my story;

I was living in the PNW of the US for about 5 years before I decided to go to grad school, I had some of the best girlfriends I have ever had there. It was really hard to leave. I moved to a big east coast city, went to grad school, made a few really good friends in the process and also met my husband. We lived in the city for a few years and then (I)/we decided it was time to leave (ok, so city life wasn't for me) and we took the plunge to move to Europe (to a city/town where my DH is origionally from).

I love it here but not being fluent in the language yet has made meeting people hard. There are some expat groups and I have met a few nice women from them, but they are so different then me, its been hard to click. We do have my husband friends but they are all childless and 30 going on 16 which gets old for me fast.

Anyhow, so I'm pregnant with our first, I have no real friends or family within a 10 hour flight of us and I'd love to know I'm not alone, which by the number of pages here, I hope I'm not









Hi and welcome!! Congrats on being pregnant!! I kinda miss it, I always loved feeling the baby moving as I was falling asleep at night. It was reassuring and miraculous feeling all at once! And then it got old once I was past my EDD, but the best thing ever is after the baby is born and you realize that the squirmy thing in your belly is actually a baby - it really didn't hit me until Lincoln was born that it would really be a baby. My memory's of his birth are so fond, I wish I could revisit his first moments again.

Where in PNW did you live? I grew up in Seattle, and I love it so much there. But right now I'm living in NYC going to law school









I hope everyone is having a really great day!! I'll try to update while I'm in Seattle, but I might not be able to. I'm SO excited that my best friend is getting married this weekend!!! I haven't seen her in over a year, so I really can't wait!!


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thyra* 
Sasha is starting to move around too? How old is he? Or is Sasha a she? (I don't remember, sorry!!) I think they are around the same age, but I don't remember. Lincoln is doing push ups too - he can also play with his toys while staying on his tummy now! His sleep all last week was horrible - I was dying of fatigue cause he just did.not.sleep - but then on Saturday when I went to LLL meeting he sat up on his own (using his hands to prop himself of course) for the first time, then he started playing with his toys while laying on his belly, doing multiple rolls at once, and started really moving when he tries to crawl. No wonder his sleep was awful - he was working on doing so many things!

I've been feeling a little better this weekend. We've been visiting my in laws - which is actually really nice for the most part. I also took Lincoln on a crazy long walk today, which was really nice. I bought him some new toys too - a few teethers, some bath toys, and we had to get some stuff for the flight. I really hope the flight goes well - I can't wait to see my family!

Yeah, Sasha (boy







) was born on December 30 - they're 11 days apart! He is already sitting up all by himself and has been for the past few weeks, and he is so mobile now. I can't believe it. My DD was so much slower with all those things. He actually ate pudding yesterday (healthy soya stuff, thank God!) because I wasn't quick enough to catch his grabby hands. He was sitting on my lap and I didn't realize he wanted the stuff THAT bad







.

Have a wonderful time in Seattle!


----------



## MittensKittens

And... anyone else still have baby fever?


----------



## ithappened

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thyra* 
Hi and welcome!! Congrats on being pregnant!! I kinda miss it, I always loved feeling the baby moving as I was falling asleep at night.

Is it terrible to say that at this point I don't love it at all? I just feel sort of fat, awkward and none of my clothes fit me the way they should









Quote:


Originally Posted by *thyra* 
Where in PNW did you live? I grew up in Seattle, and I love it so much there. But right now I'm living in NYC going to law school









How funny, I lived in Portland but moved to NYC for grad school. I'm now living in Europe. I hated NYC as much as I wanted to love it, I just missed the trees and mountains too much







:

I'm sort of feeling sorry for myself today. I took out all my summer clothes from last summer and they all looked funny on me. My cute favorite summer dresses I couldn't zip up over my boobs without breaking the zipper. My used-to-be-baggy shirts are tight around my waist and just look like I have a huge muffin top. It was really depressing. I don't really have any cute clothes for this in between 'is she pregnant or not?' stage and I'm shocked how its affected how I feel.


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ithappened* 
How funny, I lived in Portland but moved to NYC for grad school. I'm now living in Europe. I hated NYC as much as I wanted to love it, I just missed the trees and mountains too much







:

I'm sort of feeling sorry for myself today. I took out all my summer clothes from last summer and they all looked funny on me. My cute favorite summer dresses I couldn't zip up over my boobs without breaking the zipper. My used-to-be-baggy shirts are tight around my waist and just look like I have a huge muffin top. It was really depressing. I don't really have any cute clothes for this in between 'is she pregnant or not?' stage and I'm shocked how its affected how I feel.

OMG - I totally know how you feel about missing the trees and mountains!! I love going hiking and skiing, and I just feel like there isn't any of that here!

Do you have skirts for summer? How far along are you? I found out I was pregnant in late may of last year, so most of my in between pregnant clothes and regular clothes was in the fall, but a little of it fell while I was working at a summer camp in late July/early August. I LIVED in cotton stretchy skirts (they all still fit me now, and fit me before pregnancy), and ribbed tank tops, or cute shirts that are in style that everyone wears but are kinda tight on top and loose at the bottom, did that make any sense?

I know how you feel about not liking being pregnant either - I think I mostly enjoyed the third trimester (up till the last few weeks when I looked more like a whale than a human). It was weird b/c everyone told me that the second tri was the easiest, but I slept better and just generally felt better in the third tri. One thing that helped me a ton was walking every singe day for about 30 minutes - it just kept me feeling better about the whole thing.


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## BaBaBa

no baby fever here but I do feel pregnant. I just ate 1/2 a carton of Ben & Jerry's peanut butter ice cream


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## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
no baby fever here but I do feel pregnant. I just ate 1/2 a carton of Ben & Jerry's peanut butter ice cream









I LOVE Ben & Jerry's!


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## ithappened

Quote:

Do you have skirts for summer?
yes! I have 3-4 right now as well as 2-3 jersey dresses which I think will work for most of the summer. I found my jeans really aren't comfy (I dont like anything touching my stomach).

I'm almost 16 weeks right now. I don't look pregnant, I just look like I need to lay off the pizza


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## Mimi

phew, hello everyone, i am back now, not sure where i even was, but i was gone for a while








good to be back though!


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *herewearetogether* 
phew, hello everyone, i am back now, not sure where i even was, but i was gone for a while








good to be back though!

Hey! How are you? Have you moved into your new place OK?


----------



## Mimi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Hey! How are you? Have you moved into your new place OK?

yes,thank you,it was very messy for a couple of weeks, (not good for someone living in fear of cps, haha ) but now it is really lovely.
& much closer to the next shops as well,so i don't feel quite so stuck.
how have you been?


----------



## BaBaBa

It's so depressing. The road crews are cutting down all the trees at the front of our property.









I guess no more trips to the laundry line in the buff. I hate progress.


----------



## Mimi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
no more trips to the laundry line in the buff.

woah. canada.
haha. <3


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *herewearetogether* 
woah. canada.
haha. <3

well, I wear my hat.


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## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *herewearetogether* 
yes,thank you,it was very messy for a couple of weeks, (not good for someone living in fear of cps, haha ) but now it is really lovely.
& much closer to the next shops as well,so i don't feel quite so stuck.
how have you been?

That is great! I'm not much of a shopper but I do like to be able to walk around civilization







. You're living in fear of CPS? Why, if I may be so rude? I had recent issues because of UC-ing but they are all resolved now, thankfully. It just makes me curious what other moms are dealing with.

BaBaBa, sorry about your trees!


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## Mimi

well for a start we have "health visitors" who keep going on about how i really should send the kids to preschool,
& emily is a very loud little one, she wakes up during the night & screams, or, when she gets frustrated & i try to help her she will scream "heeeelp, nooo, HELP" so i am waiting for the neighbours to call the police, everyone is really very willing to call the police on people ever since poor Baby P. I don't blame them. if i knew a child who would scream for help & was covered in bruises (she's quite a little action hero, my dd!) i would probably call them just to be on the safe site. but that with the unschooling & non vaxing, i at least want to keep a clean house to, you know, so they can't say anything really, because unschooling's perfectly legal. (for the moment, anyway. grrr.)


----------



## Mimi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
well, I wear my hat.









GASP!
you are just brilliant.


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## MittensKittens

Little bit of a vent here - I just found out that the One Company producing slings here has now, besides mei tais which I noticed a little while back, also started selling cloth dipes. This is all since I started doing those items. I feel a little bit







:







now, especially since they seem to have a marketing budget of some sort, which I don't for the time being.


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *herewearetogether* 
well for a start we have "health visitors" who keep going on about how i really should send the kids to preschool,
& emily is a very loud little one, she wakes up during the night & screams, or, when she gets frustrated & i try to help her she will scream "heeeelp, nooo, HELP" so i am waiting for the neighbours to call the police, everyone is really very willing to call the police on people ever since poor Baby P. I don't blame them. if i knew a child who would scream for help & was covered in bruises (she's quite a little action hero, my dd!) i would probably call them just to be on the safe site. but that with the unschooling & non vaxing, i at least want to keep a clean house to, you know, so they can't say anything really, because unschooling's perfectly legal. (for the moment, anyway. grrr.)

Yeah, I remember the Victoria Climbie case from when I was there ten years back. I appreciate CPS trying to do what they can to save abused children, but it is scary how the state gets into your business sometimes. I saw your blog with montessori activities a couple times, but I didn't know you were unschooling - I plan to homeschool too, it is just too early to determine exactly how. So, what we're doing for now is effectively unschooling (DD is nearly three).


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## Mimi

my emi will be three in a month !








we are really into a few waldorf things at the moment, dd is loving circle time to start & finish the day, helps her a lot.

how rude of that other company. i'll buy your cloth nappies, but i'll have to wait a month or so till we can afford a bunch of them








also, i have been looking for a nice new sling, but now dd likes the sling,too, so i sorta need a way to combine wearing a toddler & ds , he's 9 months old.
i'm just using a boring old normal looong bit of fabric at the moment.


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *herewearetogether* 
my emi will be three in a month !








we are really into a few waldorf things at the moment, dd is loving circle time to start & finish the day, helps her a lot.

how rude of that other company. i'll buy your cloth nappies, but i'll have to wait a month or so till we can afford a bunch of them








also, i have been looking for a nice new sling, but now dd likes the sling,too, so i sorta need a way to combine wearing a toddler & ds , he's 9 months old.
i'm just using a boring old normal looong bit of fabric at the moment.

Aha, you're using the SPOC (Simple piece of cloth







). I don't do ring slings as I don't personally like them, but if you want a MT or podaegi I'm all yours. Shipping from here to the UK is really cheap too







. Kaya will be three in August. Have you decided how you are going to celebrate? My aunt will be over, which I am so much looking forward too.


----------



## Mimi

SPOC,now that sounds clever!








Kaya is a lovely name!
We are having an art party with a few children Emi wanted to invite, so I am hoping to get fingerpaints , watercolours & acrylic paints, some small canvases for the kids to take home & one large one for all of them to paint on,for emily to keep.
DH is concerned because emi only invited boys (& one girl) so i invited another little girl to keep dh quiet. pffft, men ..

can you recommend any slings for wearing a baby & a toddler at the same time? that would be great.

I really have some attatchment problems with emi, & as she likes the sling it seems like that's a good thing to keep, to work with.


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## MittensKittens

I find wearing two babies impractical, because you have to put the baby on last, meaning you have to take the baby off before the toddler as well. In my case, that means having to wake a freshly sleeping baby because the toddler says "down, down!"







. Then, when I finish putting the baby back on, DD will say "Kaya wants to go back in daegi"







. Repeat cycle here. If your DD is more patient, I'd put her in a MT on your back and then DS in your sling on the front.

Your party plans sound great.


----------



## Mimi

that sounds stressfull








i like the idea of mt on the back & baby in a sling, though.
George sleeps almost all day, few things actually wake him, so that wouldn't be a problem. So now all i need is to cross my fingers & hope that we have some money coming in (i'll know in four weeks time) & then i can hopefully buy lots of sweet baby things!









I am sitting here next to dh who is working, & i am using my fil's laptop , because mine broke. i am sooooo bored, but i really NEED to wait for dh to go to bed at the same time, i have not seen him in weeks, i really could do with some mama & daddy time.


----------



## MittensKittens

Sorry your laptop broke







. You're an hour earlier than me. I just can't sleep







:.


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## Mimi

i hate insomnia, i hate when everyone is alseep & i hear a scary noise, or when everything is quiet enough for me to think a lot, but then i enjoy right nnow actually using a computer without someone trying to type "E M I " or someone trying to climb up my leg for a bit of milk








I sometimes even get some sewing & knitting done.
What do you do when you can't sleep?
I had those herbal pills, "Kalms" but they made me feel very , erm, spaced out, during the day, so i stopped taking them, plus i slept far too deeply when i took those, & poor ds would go hungry.


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## Mimi

also,where are you, being an hour ahead of me?
( i probably know the answer to that, but, i really really can't remember at the moment! sorry







)


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *herewearetogether* 
What do you do when you can't sleep?

Long time no see







! Haven't you noticed? I mess around on the net. Sometimes I even cook myself a full dinner. No sewing though, my sewing machine is too close to the bed, LOs would wake. How old is your DS?


----------



## Mimi

we are the insomnia ghosts of mdc.
Georgie is 9 months.
I got a singer manual sewing machine, so i turn that handle & it sews, it is a lot quieter, for night time sewing








but, george sleeps all the itme anyway, nothing wakes him. dd , though, she wakes ever 30 mins or so.


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## MittensKittens

I have a vintage bernina, WITH electricity though. Sorry about your DD waking so often. Kaya has been waking up lately as well, and she has peed the bed a couple times too







.


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## MittensKittens

There is a concert going on near my house, and it's really hot here. I don't feel it is so late yet, really. Kinda nice music too.


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## BaBaBa

it's still early here!


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## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
it's still early here!









Hey, company! Shall we all open a bottle of wine now?

Oh no, as you said, it's still early there!


----------



## BaBaBa

I can't believe the nerve of my neighbours. 10 minutes after the road crew left he came with his van and chain saw and started collecting the wood!!!


----------



## BaBaBa

it's never to early for wine!


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
I can't believe the nerve of my neighbours. 10 minutes after the road crew left he came with his van and chain saw and started collecting the wood!!!


----------



## BaBaBa

he thought he wasn't visible but I saw him and made sure he saw me. After he took the first load of wood home he showed up at my place and told me that he was cleaning it up because the scavengers would come and take it really quickly (no kidding!) and that really it was fair game but we could share it.







:


----------



## Mimi

Emi is back in diapers during the night, she asked for it, she woin't go to bed without them. strange.
she now gets to watch "disneys robin hood" on tape (so old, haha!) because it used to be dh favourite movie. she sometimes gets to watch "little bear" in the evenings, too. so she watches those two things to fall asleep when she cann not sleep. she has been good recently,going to bed at 7.30 , but today was a bad day, poor george even had a wooden toolbox thrown at his head, he's got a big bruise. it's been stressfull, so i am thankful that dh ordered a couple of bottles of red wine.


----------



## Mimi

baba, is that the creep who stared at your dd? the one who lives with his parents??


----------



## BaBaBa

whoah! DD just spun out in the bath and gave us both a fright!

eek! I can really see how they can drown if you leave the room for a second! That's never happened before!

Big exhale*


----------



## Mimi

scary! & i was such a bathtub parent, nothing like sitting in the bathroom with a book & a glass of wine while the little one plays in the bath.
we don't have a bathtub anymore, so that's the end of that, though, but, poor you baba, she alright?


----------



## BaBaBa

no, not that creep. He's history (I had a terrible dream the other night that he came to circumcise DD)

This is the nice, respectable, goody-goody pillar of the community neighbours









I don't feel so bad about our dog barking at night now.


----------



## BaBaBa

she's fine. she won't stop telling me so









bath time is one of the highlights in the day


----------



## Mimi

hah, that's something i suppose!
& yuck at the creepy dream!!


----------



## BaBaBa

You have a backyard now, can you put a little pool in it?


----------



## Mimi

we could, but i would be the one getting bugs & spiders out of it the whole time, so, not a fan








the kids like to shower, though, which is relaxing,too.
it's a big shower with seats & glass all around so i can always see them, plus it switches on on the outside, s o kids in, shower on, perfect


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
no, not that creep. He's history (I had a terrible dream the other night that he came to circumcise DD)

This is the nice, respectable, goody-goody pillar of the community neighbours









I don't feel so bad about our dog barking at night now.









Right, I am sure he was just doing you all a service







.

Glad DD is OK.

You know what, I am actually going to attempt to sleep right about now


----------



## Mimi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 

You know what, I am actually going to attempt to sleep right about now









good luck & good night!!!


----------



## Mimi

actually, bababa, dh is asking me to go to bed, & you know how much that is needed at the moment, haha








so i will talk to you on _a i m_ i hope,as dh is back at work. <3
night night!!!


----------



## BaBaBa

Really, they complained about the dog with a letter in the mailbox but were not even close. It's like a 10 minute walk to their door! Plus it's not like we're in the city or the suburbs. This is the COUNTRY and dog is a livestock guardian. So when the coyotes, foxes and racoons stop trying to eat our animals in the middle of the night then I'll do something about the dog's barking.

Am I right?


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Really, they complained about the dog with a letter in the mailbox but were not even close. It's like a 10 minute walk to their door! Plus it's not like we're in the city or the suburbs. This is the COUNTRY and dog is a livestock guardian. So when the coyotes, foxes and racoons stop trying to eat our animals in the middle of the night then I'll do something about the dog's barking.

Am I right?

Wow, how rude is that? Like complaining about a crying baby


----------



## Mimi

you are so right, i mean, that dog's protecting you! he has every right to bark all he wants. i'd get another dog.
anyway, off to bed!


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
no, not that creep. He's history (I had a terrible dream the other night that he came to circumcise DD)

This is the nice, respectable, goody-goody pillar of the community neighbours









I don't feel so bad about our dog barking at night now.









huh? a creep stared at your DD?? Did I miss that post?


----------



## ithappened

how have you all managed to do this (being a mom) without having other mom friends in your area? do you have family? hired support? web cam chats?

I'm really struggling right now with the idea of feeling alone during my pregnancy and even more so with the idea of feeling alone after birth.


----------



## Mimi

sorry,I thought bababa posted about that here, but it could have been in an email . :/ sorry!!


----------



## Mimi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ithappened* 
how have you all managed to do this (being a mom) without having other mom friends in your area? do you have family? hired support? web cam chats?

I'm really struggling right now with the idea of feeling alone during my pregnancy and even more so with the idea of feeling alone after birth.


Hey there!
when i first moved to the uk i was really really sad because i didn't have any friends, & then i went to playgroups & such just to find out that actually, i don't want to be friends with many of the mothers in this area, a lot of people here "smack" their children & that sort of thing.
truth is, you just get used to it.
I talk to mamas i like online & sometimes we meet up when they don't live to far away. i have far too little spare time to be wasting it being "social" with people i don't actually like, so, it takes some time , but i prefer having fewer friends that i actually have something in common with to having a ton of mainstream mummy friends who hit their kids.

before my ds was born i made all sorts of plans for my german friends to come visit me after birth, but the closer i got to my due date, the more i realised that i much prefer just my familys company.

i am , however, very lucky & have my in laws living right around the corner, we go there for dinner every wednesday & a big sunday lunch , too.
& soon my husband will be at home all day, too.
without that, i think i would have gone slightly mad by now


----------



## MittensKittens

So.... ....the whole bureaucracy saga is still not over. I phoned the embassy to check whether the BC was done yet, and they said no, because they hadn't received any confirmation from the police yet. Those creeps knocking at the door yesterday, because of which my DD became totally hysterical, might have been the police or CPS after all. (more likely CPS - they were three women. I thought they might have been Jahova's witnesses)


----------



## ithappened

MittensKittens- why do the police or CPS need to confirm anything? (honestly curious)


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ithappened* 
MittensKittens- why do the police or CPS need to confirm anything? (honestly curious)

I had a UC, and have dual citizenship with the right to triple - it all got very complicated. Still is, apparently







.


----------



## Mimi

so sorry, mittenskittens!








that must be very stressfull.
they probably just want a chat, though,right?
:/


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *herewearetogether* 
so sorry, mittenskittens!








that must be very stressfull.
they probably just want a chat, though,right?
:/

No idea, I thought they wouldn't come because they have criminals to deal with!?!


----------



## Mimi

well, i got the police newsletter for where i live, & their top priority is "people parking in a way that obstructs paths " & "people dropping paper & cigarette buds" so the police are bored as hell, maybe it's the same where you live?


----------



## Mimi

i just dug out my mary poppins & wizard of oz dvds, baked some bread, cut up some strawberries,apples & bananas, ( & a pack of nuts& raisins) & went back to bed with the kids.
i can't quite face the world today .








feeling quite guilty,but,at least they eat healthy food,right?


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *herewearetogether* 
well, i got the police newsletter for where i live, & their top priority is "people parking in a way that obstructs paths " & "people dropping paper & cigarette buds" so the police are bored as hell, maybe it's the same where you live?

Definitely NOT







. Here, parking on the sidewalk is default. No, I am not exaggerating. It even looks like there are unspoken rules about HOW you are supposed to park on the sidewalk. Those who use strollers have a seriously hard time getting around in my neighborhood. Also, this is not exactly the cleanest city I have ever seen in my life. At least you can actually walk on the side walk, LOL







.

I LOVE home made bread! Fruit sounds wonderful too. Do you use a bread machine?


----------



## Mimi

No, we used to have one but neve rused it, plus it was really huge. I like making it properly, it feels more like we actually made it. Emi loves the book "zed's bread" so we have been baking every day really.
(if i ever find a small enough bread machine, i might just use it, too,though.)

mh. i forgot how "scary" wizard of oz can be, emi is a little upset because "_it is real windy and the house is blowing away_" ...


----------



## MittensKittens

Poor DD


----------



## Mimi

she's loving the munchkins though.
anyway, as guilty as i feel, it's really nice to get a break like this.


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *herewearetogether* 
she's loving the munchkins though.
anyway, as guilty as i feel, it's really nice to get a break like this.

I bet! Is Emi any good at entertaining herself? Kaya used to be, but those days are over. MAMA COME PLAY WITH LEGO - COME PLAY WITH LEGO (imagine wild toddler pointing at mom) is the norm now.


----------



## Mimi

she usually is, but the past two days it has been nothing but picking up something, throwing it, moving on.
it's very irritating. she's also started shouting everything she says recently, i am considering getting her hearing checked, it's crazy.
is kaya any good with legos? we don't have any because i think george would try to eat them, but there is a bigger wooden version of legos that i quite like, but then, *I* like them, i don't know if emi would.


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *herewearetogether* 
she usually is, but the past two days it has been nothing but picking up something, throwing it, moving on.
it's very irritating. she's also started shouting everything she says recently, i am considering getting her hearing checked, it's crazy.
is kaya any good with legos? we don't have any because i think george would try to eat them, but there is a bigger wooden version of legos that i quite like, but then, *I* like them, i don't know if emi would.

My mom bought Kaya a TON of lego. The primo stuff for babies, and then the duplo toddler version. That is what she plays with now, and the pieces are too big to swallow for Sasha. She is great with lego - she builds all kinds of stuff. She has got a ton of different cars and expensive add ons as well. None of it I actually paid for







. Sasha likes to watch her play, and sometimes picks up a block of lego. I can assure you there is really no risk of the duplo being swallowed.

Funny how two kids can be so different. Kaya wasn't interested in toys for a long, long time. She used to just live every day items like spoons and stuff, and books, crayons etc. She is just now getting into things like legos, but Sasha is already VERY interested in everything he can get his hands on. He bores easily and starts crying when he is bored. Kaya couldn't get bored at that age







. I also have a feeling that Sasha is the "want to put my fingers in the outlet" type of baby, so I am very careful now.

Isn't the shouting thing just a phase? I mean, an _annoying_ phase?


----------



## ithappened

MittensKittens- oh makes sense of the dual citizenship thing. here we just have to take the kid to the US embassay in person, which is 4 hours way to get the BC. Pain in the ass that will be.

As for breadmaker, I wish! I just have a blender and ice cream maker at the moment


----------



## MittensKittens

Ice cream maker sounds like fun!


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *herewearetogether* 
or someone trying to climb up my leg for a bit of milk









there are really good bras for that...


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *herewearetogether* 
actually, bababa, dh is asking me to go to bed, & you know how much that is needed at the moment, haha









hubba hubba


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thyra* 
huh? a creep stared at your DD?? Did I miss that post?

I won't describe the guy as he would fit the stereotype of a 'creep' and that just wouldn't be fair







(well, knowing you're legal minded)

I was chatting to him at the side door, paying him for snow removal. Unknown to me, DD was behind me lifting up her nightie (as little girls do







). She had no undies on. I think he remarked on her 'not being shy' or something along those lines. I wrapped it up quickly with him to attend to her but he kept glanced over my shoulder at her peep show performance even glancing back one more time as he shut the door behind him. I would expect most people, men especially to avoid looking. Anyhow, I'm sure it was nothing but being an over protective mother it mad me feel uncomfortable all the same.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ithappened* 
how have you all managed to do this (being a mom) without having other mom friends in your area? do you have family? hired support? web cam chats?

I'm really struggling right now with the idea of feeling alone during my pregnancy and even more so with the idea of feeling alone after birth.

The first 2 years were incredibly hard. I had also mad the transition from living in the city with DH to 2 hours away in the country, with DH only at home when he didn't have to work (he's freelance, so there's some flexibility there).

I think you can find friends but you really have to put yourself out there and that's almost impossible to do with a new LO. I would prepare now and find a group, like LLL and start attending. Like HWAT said, it's also hard to find other mums that share your parenting views.

My MIL who also lives 2 hours away, helped out tremendously and still continues to visit weekly if DH isn't home.

I debated a lot during the first 2 years about getting hired help, a housekeeper or a mother's helper. DH was totally supportive but I'm terribly introverted and much of the idea of it exhausted me. In retrospect, I probably should have pursued it. I'm thinking again about getting a mothers helper a couple of days a week.

I chat online with friends. I find talking on the phone hard. DD is always competing for my attention and I'm not the type that can focus on a telephone conversation, while playing with DD, while preparing a meal etc..Instant messaging is great because interruptions don't matter.

If I had any advice for a mom to be I would say learn to meditate now or prepare yourself now in whatever way with the skills to handle stress, anger and frustration. I really wish I had. I think it would have helped me enormously.


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
I won't describe the guy as he would fit the stereotype of a 'creep' and that just wouldn't be fair







(well, knowing you're legal minded)

I was chatting to him at the side door, paying him for snow removal. Unknown to me, DD was behind me lifting up her nightie (as little girls do







). She had no undies on. I think he remarked on her 'not being shy' or something along those lines. I wrapped it up quickly with him to attend to her but he kept glanced over my shoulder at her peep show performance even glancing back one more time as he shut the door behind him. I would expect most people, men especially to avoid looking. Anyhow, I'm sure it was nothing but being an over protective mother it mad me feel uncomfortable all the same.

Yuk!


----------



## BaBaBa

MK, good grief! what you're dealing with!!!

So, are you effectively stranded there without a BC?


----------



## BaBaBa

Help me understand here....what exactly does a bread machine do? I mean I know it makes bread but I have no problem making it without one. Why would you ever need one?

Now, an ice cream machine. That's useful!


----------



## Mimi

oh man, both kids finally asleep , it's 4.30 pm here, i am shattered. dh is working in another town today & won't be home till 7, & then we go to his parents for dinner.

bababa, there are bras for little people climbing up my legs to get some milk?


----------



## Mimi

I wish they made lego in prettier colours, though.
i just hate hate hate those bold primary colours.

emi has a duplo dinosaur set that she got from my mum last christmas, but she mostly just throws them at george. she's better with normal blocks, builds whole cities. she might just not "get" how legos work yet?!


----------



## Mimi

ooooh also, did i tell you all,

my little emi can write now!!!!

i'm so very proud, haha. take that all you people hating unschooling. let me see your almost 3 year olds write.


----------



## MittensKittens

Yeah, BBB, WHAT bras are you talking about?


----------



## Mimi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Help me understand here....what exactly does a bread machine do? I mean I know it makes bread but I have no problem making it without one. Why would you ever need one?

Now, an ice cream machine. That's useful!

the one we had, you would put in flour, water, yeast & butter, it would mix it up, make a perfect temperature for it to rise, then beep till you are there, the screen would say the next step of the recipe (like, "add half a cup of honey" ) & so on, so you'd always get perfect bread.
but ugly bread, square bread.

ice cream machine i find useless, i LOVE to make icecream without one!
it's very satisfying, plus it sort of gives a day structure .


----------



## Mimi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Yeah, BBB, WHAT bras are you talking about?

one that comes with a teeny tiny rope-ladder?

( at least he'd stop pulling himself closer by my hair, i suppose?! )


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *herewearetogether* 
ooooh also, did i tell you all,

my little emi can write now!!!!

i'm so very proud, haha. take that all you people hating unschooling. let me see your almost 3 year olds write.









That is wonderful!!! Mine won't, though she recognizes some words. Any suggestions on how to get there without being pushy?


----------



## Mimi

The kids & me take a shower today every day, so i started writing on the glass with my finger, sort of like
"E is a loooong line with many arms" "M looks like the *M*ountains" "I is a very long line" The E is reaching out to the mountains, & the I is trying to hide behind the mountains" so she started drawing her own stories. it's sweet really, but weirdly enough she stopped reading. she'll go to a book & say "look,mama, here is the letter D" or something like that, but no more "this word means CAT" so i am thinking that her reading was just learning the look of common words. but , we'll get there again eventually .


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *herewearetogether* 
bababa, there are bras for little people climbing up my legs to get some milk? 

It depends on how far up your leg they need to climb to get some


----------



## Mimi

gasp! i am still quite young, i like tho think that my breasts don't quite reach the floor yet (though they are getting there, aehm.)

george is a dentist recently, i always seem to have a hand in my mouth, this morning i even woke up that way. quite annoying, but he's too big a chunky monkey now to be swaddled.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *herewearetogether* 
ooooh also, did i tell you all,

my little emi can write now!!!!

i'm so very proud, haha. take that all you people hating unschooling. let me see your almost 3 year olds write.









perhaps she could prepare a letter for CPS outlining how well her homeschooling is going


----------



## Mimi

she could write to these stupid mps here who want to make unschooling illegal. grrrr.
my dh doesn't answer his mails & his phone redirects me.
:/
he usually calls a lot & answers all my mails!


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *herewearetogether* 
t

ice cream machine i find useless, i LOVE to make icecream without one!
it's very satisfying, plus it sort of gives a day structure .


how on earth?!?! it must give one a rather sore arm does it not?


----------



## Mimi

not really, you make a mixture (got a divine vanilla icecream recipe, must share it when i have time to type it all up) stir it, put it into the freezer for 20 minutes, then go & stir for 5, back in the freezer for 20 & so on till it's nice smooth icecream.
i'm actually just trying it at this moment to use just normal cream, because i fancy cream icecream







i'll let you know how that works out.
but, if you can make a basic vanilla sauce you can make vanilla icecream


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Yeah, BBB, WHAT bras are you talking about?

Clearly, I am the only one experiencing the effects of 2.5 years of nursing


----------



## Mimi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Clearly, I am the only one experiencing the effects of 2.5 years of nursing










& i envy you for it.
at least your little one is properly attached to you.

(oh my, i do sound bitter. :/)


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *herewearetogether* 
not really, you make a mixture (got a divine vanilla icecream recipe, must share it when i have time to type it all up) stir it, put it into the freezer for 20 minutes, then go & stir for 5, back in the freezer for 20 & so on till it's nice smooth icecream.


and you don't get any crystals? I picture you using the old fashioned hand cranked one.

now I think I'll finish off that Ben & Jerry's....


----------



## Mimi

nah,no crystals,i use one of those electric things, erm, you push them down, they have two blades, like, a long stick with two blades on the bottom? i mash up georgies food with that,too.


----------



## BaBaBa

AH HA!

an immersion blender?

so you're not opposed to the idea of an ice cream maker or technology, you just don't use one









Mistook you for a food snob for sec.


----------



## ithappened

I'll openly admit to being a food snob at times, but I blame that on my husband


----------



## Mimi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ithappened* 
I'll openly admit to being a food snob at times, but I blame that on my husband










same here!









but,baba, see, no, i find icecream makers, thy, thy do all the work,
i don't like putting in one thing, turning on a machine & then take another thing out, sort of, i don't know.


----------



## MittensKittens

Ah... that's what you call it in English? Immersion blender? I have always wondered about that, though they don't seem to have them around everywhere. I call it "staaf mixer". What is the German word?









Oh, and I broke one of those trying to make muffins the other day, they are just not strong enough.

On the topic of breasteeding, I used to have sizeable breasts, but now I no longer even need a bra







.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ithappened* 
I'll openly admit to being a food snob at times, but I blame that on my husband









me too!!!!


----------



## MittensKittens

What is that thing about crashing the server if a thread gets too long?


----------



## Mimi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Ah... that's what you call it in English? Immersion blender? I have always wondered about that, though they don't seem to have them around everywhere. I call it "staaf mixer". What is the German word?









Oh, and I broke one of those trying to make muffins the other day, they are just not strong enough.

On the topic of breasteeding, I used to have sizeable breasts, but now I no longer even need a bra







.


it's called a pürierstaab.








I broke one on carrots, started smoking like crazy & smelling all weird.
the mixer, not me.
i mean.


----------



## MittensKittens

Food snob here too


----------



## Mimi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
What is that thing about crashing the server if a thread gets too long?









should we start a new one?


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *herewearetogether* 
but,baba, see, no, i find icecream makers, thy, thy do all the work,
i don't like putting in one thing, turning on a machine & then take another thing out, sort of, i don't know.

I respectfully disagree.







: All the work in making the ice cream is in making the custard part of it. All an ice cream maker does is keeps it cold while it churns. It doesn't actually make it at all!


----------



## Mimi

i am a total snob when it comes to my kdis food. i get very angry with my fil for feeding emily "fruit shoots" claiming "they are all natural" well,it's water with flavouring, doesn't sound so natural to me. & dh backs him up on it. grrrr.

last sunday when i came back from playing with emi i saw dh feeding it to GEORGE!


----------



## Mimi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
I respectfully disagree.







: All the work in making the ice cream is in making the custard part of it. All an ice cream maker does is keeps it cold while it churns. It doesn't actually make it at all!


yeah,it's not so much about the not wanting a machine to do the work, i just sort of feel more like i actually made it when i don't use a machine.
i did give up on making our own butter, though.
seasalt we "made" once. but it's not really worth the effort.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
Ah... that's what you call it in English? Immersion blender? I have always wondered about that, though they don't seem to have them around everywhere. I call it "staaf mixer". What is the German word?










Do we know where you're from originally? Oh, the Netherlands, right? Why did I think you were American when you mentioned an aunt in Holland....?

please set me straight...


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
What is that thing about crashing the server if a thread gets too long?









i just assumed the mods would shut us down in that scenario.


----------



## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *herewearetogether* 
should we start a new one?

I'd love to give it a new name. 'Lonely/no friend' sounds , well... pathetic? And we are not!! Besides, we have friends! US!


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *herewearetogether* 
it's called a pürierstaab.








I broke one on carrots, started smoking like crazy & smelling all weird.
the mixer, not me.
i mean.

Mine too. Like burning plastic. I just got it and was gonna trade it in for a new one pretending I was mashing bananas or something, but then I couldn't find the warranty anywhere. Karma, I guess







. Glad I am not the only one.

BaBaBa, both countries mentioned







, so right on both counts.


----------



## Mimi

friendly mamas?









will we all get a warning though because we keep this thread going?


----------



## BaBaBa

I honestly think they don't care about us!


----------



## MittensKittens

We are not pathetic! But what would we call it instead, and still enable others to find us? I admit I was quite ashamed to join this thread to start with. It is a lot of fun, though!


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *herewearetogether* 
friendly mamas?









will we all get a warning though because we keep this thread going?

Am I the only one who keeps receiving "reminders"? What are they, anyway? Or are we not allowed to discuss that?


----------



## BaBaBa

I had a reminder once. I forget exactly but Dennis Leary had made some comment about autism being the result of hysterical mothers (or something along those lines). Anyhow, this is the same guy who had a song called 'I'm an '$$hole' and I posted something to that effect. They asked me to edit so I just told them to go ahead and remove it.


----------



## BaBaBa

There's a Friendship Tribe in TAO which has pretty much petered out but I still don't think we should take the name.

hmmm...


----------



## BaBaBa

something subtle, like....

MAKE FRIENDS HERE!!!!!


----------



## BaBaBa

MDC Friends & Global Neighbours?


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
something subtle, like....

MAKE FRIENDS HERE!!!!!









I much prefer that to lonely and friendless. The title suggests I have to remove myself from the thread as soon as I am starting to get to know the people behind the screen names a little bit


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## BaBaBa

Shall we give it some time for others to give their opinions or just do it? ...and then do we ask the mods to close the old one?


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## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
Shall we give it some time for others to give their opinions or just do it? ...and then do we ask the mods to close the old one?

We could do a poll


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## MittensKittens

And then we should do the feng shui cleansing thing, you know, getting rid of the negative, old energy, no more "lonely"


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## BaBaBa

or just do it


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## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BaBaBa* 
or just do it









Living dangerously









(I only ever choose smilies from the main smilie list because I am lazy, look what great smilies I am missing out on!)

OK, you do it then...


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## BaBaBa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
And then we should do the feng shui cleansing thing, you know, getting rid of the negative, old energy, no more "lonely"









YEAH!


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## BaBaBa

which icon should I use beside it?

Partyhat? big grin? smile? or cool?

All in caps with exclamation marks or small case or other?


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## MittensKittens

Yeah! All Caps and the party hat! Don't forget to welcome everyone and anyone


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## BaBaBa

Done! Didn't let me do all caps though, I do understand why they wouldn't want that.

Now, I'm literally going to take out the trash but I'll be back in a bit on the NEW thread


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## ithappened

guys you got to get over there or I'm going to look like a loser!


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## georgia

Thread closed to new posts and shiny, new thread here


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