# Anyone EXCLUSIVELY babywear?



## boatbaby (Aug 30, 2004)

We have a lot of exclusively breastfed babies around here... And I know there are lots of baby wearing junkies around here who have a closet full of slings and kozys and ergos...

Anybody exclusively babywear? Anyone here not own a stroller or baby bucket (car seat carrier) throughout their child's baby/toddler hood? Or own but not use them ever?

My DS is 13 months. We never owned a baby bucket. We have a small unbrella stroller that I have used maybe 3 times (once to put baby down for 15 minutes while getting a pap smear... you get the idea :LOL )

We used a pouch from Day 1 and with several in between carriers we have graduated to an Ergo. We are exclusive baby wearers -- no stroller, no packnplay, no buckets, no regrets!

Anybody else?


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## kbridi (Mar 16, 2005)

I would consider myself a semi-exclusive BWr. I do own a stroller but have only used it like 5 times for unusual circumstances (and at the airport for a luggage carrier).

I also have a baby bucket carseat. During the rare time that DS fell asleep in the car (he usually screamed when he was an infant), I could carry him around in it so he wouldn't wake up. I have never used my pack-n-play -- but it might have been good when we went car camping this weekend. DS was trying to put rocks and pebbles in his mouth and he just didn't want to be in the Ergo.

So, I'm not sure if I qualify, but I'm sure a BWing junkie!


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## aprons_and_acorns (Sep 28, 2004)

Of course we use our stroller--what else am I supposed to carry our packages in when my arms are full of a baby? :LOL

Actually we do bw a lot, but I still get a fair amount of use from our jogging stroller. Ds and dh go jogging together a few times a week and I think they both enjoy it.


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## boatbaby (Aug 30, 2004)

I can't imagine jogging with a sling on! :LOL Just like I wasn't able to baby wear during a pap smear try as I may. These extreme circumstances happen...

I mean not EVER using a stroller or other devices for everyday stuff.


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## Persephone (Apr 8, 2004)

Well... I intend to be. It seems like even here, I find the attitude that I won't be able to ALWAYS wear him common. I'm not sure why not... Anyway, we have no baby buckets on our registry, only a sling, a moses basket, and an umbrella stroller (for when they're older-- like 2 or 3).


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## Carolinamidwife (Dec 18, 2001)

We never owned a bucket! I HATE those things... man, I am so sick of seeing sad little bucket babies. Everyone here carries their babies in buckets. All I can think is: Ride to the mall in the bucket, get pushed around the stores for two hours in the bucket, sit through a meal in the bucket, ride home in the bucket. Honestly, I wish they had never been invented. I notice a huge difference in babies who stay in their buckets and those who are worn. Babies in buckets have a duller, almost defeated look.







Carrying a sleeping baby into the house in the bucket is one thing... but using it in place of your arms is another. Personally, I am not convinced of their safety as carseats anyway.

DD was exclusively worn for 12 months and then, lo and behold, she started wanting to ride in a stroller! I guess it was the novelty. Now I just give her a choice, she usually picks the sling but she really loves thos strollers at the mall that look like cars.


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## Tummy (Feb 24, 2005)

: Is a bucket at baby infant car seat?







:

I own a stroller, it has been in my garage for the past 6 months.
I have never went out with dc in it.

I am 100% babywearing!
I take joy in wear my friends babies if they try the (if Im correct above) bucket. They are happy to allow me, then they do not have to "lug"







: their baby around.


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## RosieTook (Sep 4, 2004)

My dd was only spent one shopping trip in the bucket, it was a 15 minute quickie on Christmas Eve...she was asleep when we left the car (leave sleeping babies lie!! :LOL) and then she was so content that I didn't take her out of it for the 5 minutes she was awake. OTOH, I saw a lady with a sling and I was so jealous, I almost wished that she would wake up so I could sling her!!

Our stroller was a great thing to carry groceries on the bus, while the baby was in the sling of course...also to carry the bucket for when we took a cab home.

So yeah, except for that she is exclusively bw!!


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## boatbaby (Aug 30, 2004)

Its funny - because we never owned a bucket (infant car seat carrier - we had a big convertible Britax from Day 1)

I have become a PRO at getting DS out of the car and into the sling and keeping him asleep.









And if he wakes, he wakes. Such is life.


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## GoodWillHunter (Mar 14, 2003)

DS is exclusively worn.

No containers.

And we have five kids.

It's fun.

But I will say, when you have more than one, and especially twins, like I do, a pack n play comes in handy if you desperately need a safe place to put the baby down for a few minutes....

So, be prepared!


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## morgainesmama (Sep 1, 2004)

I raised the first two in frame packs and maya wraps. Often carried them both in one sling when Orion was tiny. Isaac has been on my back in a wrap since day 6. You'll often find me carrying any combination of children on my body; rarely, all three. 4th of July weekend after the second night of carrying all three )about 100 pounds) I was seriously pondering whether to finally break down and buy a stroller ... but I haven't yet.

The midwife did tell me to bring the bucket in for my pap after Morgaine. Pap with Orion left him home with Dad briefly; fewer germs and it was only a 2 minute drive to the office. Haven't had a pap since Isaac.









I did keep a tiny bouncy seat for each that we used occasionally in the first 3 months around the house, and a high chair, but I'm not sure that's what you mean. I tried a stroller once with Morgaine and found it obnoxious on so many levels.

Kristi


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## Spring Sun (Jul 30, 2005)

We have only used a stroller on two or three occasions when ds has fallen asleep in his carseat. Also, we will bring the "bucket" into the house if he has fallen asleep in it bc of course we don't want to wake him!
Other than that, we are exclusive babywearers. Both Dh and me.
Isn't it the best thing in the world?


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## EnterGently (Sep 18, 2002)

Kristi and I are pretty much identical on this one.

We don't own a stroller, no swings or other baby gadgets. The bucket doesn't leave the car and in 3 kids I have never taken it out of the car and into a public place (did take it in the house a few times though). I would rather wake my baby to put them in a sling.

We don't have a swing, crib, walker etc. or other stuff like that. The bouncy chair usually sits in the bathroom with then are tiny but with my 3rd kid I only used it for 1mo (when he was like 3mo) then put it away again.

It is amazing how much you are able to wear your baby and how easy it is when you have a variety of good slings and carriers to use!!


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## santina (Jun 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sheena*
I notice a huge difference in babies who stay in their buckets and those who are worn. Babies in buckets have a duller, almost defeated look.

I also exclusivley babywear and I've noticed the same thing about babies in buckets. People are always commenting on how alert my ds is and I tell them it is because I wear him in a mei tai.


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## kamesennin (Jan 3, 2005)

We don't have a stroller or other "holding" things, but use a mini pack and play in the kitchen so she can sit and play with her toys. We don't have a stroller only because I am lazy and I spend WAY too much on slings/wraps/fabric.

I would like a stroller so I can try on clothes at the store, though. And now that I have AF how the heck do I change my pads with a baby on my front (not possible to always do back carries while out)? Aiming pee was ok before, but what about the possible mess with AF? This is a whole different ball game for me now.... I am at a total loss. What do I do, just stay at home for a week?


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## gardenpoetry (Aug 20, 2003)

We exclusively babywear! Even in 100 degree heat in St. Augustine, FL. People kept asking if I was hot and I always had to answer no. One woman saw us at the beginning of the day around 10 am and then saw us at 7 o'clock at night and in amazement said "You're still going!!"

I live in Florida and the stroller is just stored away. I can't even remember the last time I used it!! I wish I saw more babywearers, too. Not many. In St. Augustine while on vacation, I didn't see a single one. So sad!

I have a wide range and vast collection - 3 wraps, 5 slings, a mei tai, 3 pouches, and I'm sure there's more. We even babywear in the pool - which everyone comments is so cool!


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## Patchfire (Dec 11, 2001)

We had a baby bucket - but mainly so we could strap ds in away from the mosquitos that flood you when you get outside. They're bad enough that the fewer seconds the car door is open, the better. Don't have it now, ds has outgrown the height/weight requirements already. So it was a bit of a waste, but who knew.









We do own two strollers - one we used w/ dd when we had to walk around downtown all the time, and I wasn't comfortable wearing her in what we had then, across the busy streets. The other stroller dd *still* uses on occasion, when she gets tired. But ds has been in each of them maybe once or twice. Generally, he's carried when we're out.I don't know that we're at 100%, but I'd say it's over 90%. Or we just lay in bed together, in the afternoons.


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## kbridi (Mar 16, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sheena*
I notice a huge difference in babies who stay in their buckets and those who are worn. Babies in buckets have a duller, almost defeated look.

I totally agree with that. From day 1 everyone always said how alert DS was.

There is this woman in our baby music class who leaves her dd strapped in the baby bucket during the music class!!







Can you believe that?? The teacher took the baby out of the seat yesterday because she felt bad for her.

I'll tell ya, I don't know what some people are thinking. Even if you're not AP..take the baby out of the darn bucket! Especially for music class!!!


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## Quindin (Aug 22, 2003)

My 5month old has never known anything besides my carriers - oh, and the carseat of course, but that's ONLY when we are driving... We don't own a bouncer, jumping thing and not even a crib for that matter :LOL

I have a 2yo as well, and while I know some people wear two babies at once, it is just not feasible for us because it is just too heavy and cubersome. I bring a stroller along when I go out with both baby and toddler by myself.

Everyone has always commented at how unusually alert DS is. Another thing I noticed with him is that he is already VERY confident and won't scream if I put him down He just lays there laughing and trying to put his feet in his mouth :LOL It could also just be his personality of course


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## rzberrymom (Feb 10, 2005)

Our 5 1/2 month old has also known nothing but carriers--we don't own a stroller and she's only been in a car twice (we live in Europe so we can get everywhere we need by train and bus).

We're hoping to never buy a stroller. I'm surprised by the number of people who insist that we'll HAVE to buy one once she gets bigger.

We also get the "she's so alert" comment all the time--people always seem so surprised, like they've never seen a baby interacting with others before.


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## Tupelo Honey (Mar 24, 2004)

Ok, I have to say this. I wore my babies a lot, in and out of the house. My youngest came to work with me and spent 6-8 hours in ths sling a day, nursing, sleeping, and playing. I'm all about babywearing. But I also had, used, and L-O-V-E-D the bucket seat. None of my kids hit 20 lbs before a year, and I was sad to have to switch from the bucket when they finally did. I only kept them in it when they were asleep, but in no way do I think it harms a sleeping baby to be let alone when they are happily sleeping in the seat. My oldest child cried just about every moment that he wasn't nursing or sleeping, and one of the only ways he would happily fall asleep was in the car. If you think I had any intention of even risking waking him up to take him out of the seat, you are crazy.

My second was only 14 months when #3 was born (yes, I got pg 5 months PP, exclusively bf with no AF), and he was not even walking yet. When we went places like ped appointments, I would often put #2 on my hip in the sling, and leave sleeping #3 in her seat and strap it onto the handy little universal seat stroller (doesn't have it's own seat like a big travel system, it's just for holding the bucket) so I could manage the two of them plus my 4 yo ds on my own.

I agree that babies shouldn't be kept in buckets all the time, but my philosophy on child-rearing is that if they seem ok, they are ok. I wouldn't leave a crying baby in the bucket. But if you saw me when my baby happened to be asleep in the bucket, and my dh and I were enjoying a very rare and much-needed quiet lunch out, for example, would you assume I was some horrible mother who just lugged her baby around in the bucket all day? When in fact, I'm an avid babywearer and have taught and helped hundreds of parents to babywear? You just never know.

I am an API leader, and I believe whole-heartedly in AP. I'm also a mother of three babies who have all been totally different in temperment and need, and also a woman who has befriended many, many new mothers during the course of formerly owning an AP business. And what all that has taught me is that having babies is very hard for many of us. Especially the first one. The first year with the first baby is, IMHO, one of the hardest transitional periods any of us will ever experience. It turns your life upside down and changes everything. Marriages fail, meds are prescribed, internet addictions are born (lol). I do think than AP and especially babywearing can make a lot of that easier, but holding yourself to a checklist of rules most certainly will not. If never using a stroller works for you, that's great. But refusing to ever use a stroller, or bucket, or bouncy seat, or swing, or whatever just on the sheer principal that you are too good a mother for all that is, IMNSHO, just as bad as rigidly adhering to any other parenting philosophy.

"What doesn't bend, breaks." -Tao te Ching


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## Carolinamidwife (Dec 18, 2001)

Well, I never said to rigidly adhere to babywearing, I am not a proponent of dogma of any type. But I really believe buckets are as unnatural as formula. What's wrong with that? Yes... the first year of babyhood is very hard for nearly everyone but that doesn't change my opinion of babies in artifical holding devices.

Plus, I don't think anyone here said they judge people who leave their babies in the buckets for quick jaunts. I, personally, have no problem when a baby is in a bucket but is still engaged with the family or mom. I DO have a problem when I see the baby on the floor while the family eats, or the baby in the back of the grocery cart, or the baby in a bucket covered by a blanket. And of course, my all time favorites: Baby crying in bucket while mom shops and baby in bucket with propped bottle.

Maybe I am jaded because I live in the most mainstream place in the universe. I see another babywearer (not counting friends) maybe 3 times a year. More often I see babies on the floor facing the wall while mom and dad eat. Seriously, we just got back from a 30 minute trip for breakfast where I saw 3 babies in buckets. I have post-traumatic bucket syndrome.


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## Tupelo Honey (Mar 24, 2004)

I just felt like I needed to point out that comments like "I HATE those things... man, I am so sick of seeing sad little bucket babies." can come across as being judgemental, when in fact you may be seeing a baby in a buckt that is very rarely in there. I do understand the frustration of living in a very non-AP, mainstream place, and I did agree that buckets can be and often are misused and over-used. But as far as an "artificial holding device," to me it's just a Moses Basket that's not as pretty and can go in the car. That was how I used it (except not for the baby to intentioanlly sleep in, like at night. Although that works well for some reflux babies who need to be kept upright after night feedings).

I think I just have a fear that sometimes, in advocating for babies, we can lose sight of the fact that we don't always know what is going on with the mom, or that we might be seeing someone at the low point of a very difficult day. Babies' needs are very real and very important, especially the need for loving contact. I'm not refuting that in any way, and again, obviously I am a huge advocate of babywearing. I just think we sometimes need to extend a little lovingkindness in our minds when we see parents at less than optimal parenting moments, and not always assume that what we are seeing is totally representative of how they care for their baby the rest of the time.


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## Carolinamidwife (Dec 18, 2001)

Yeah, but you know... sometimes it's nice to have a place to vent when you really can't vent anywhere else because no one else understands. This being a babywearing advocacy forum I didn't think I needed to preface every statement with a non-judgemental prelude. Forget it, I'll just keep it to myself in the future.


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## Tupelo Honey (Mar 24, 2004)

Sheena, please don't be upset. I really did not mean to hurt your feelings, and I do see your point about needing a place to vent. I think I've just been sort of ruminating on the anti-bucket posts for a while, and finally decided to speak up. I didn't mean to make you feel like your opinion needed to be censored.


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## SlightlyCrunchyMom (Jul 24, 2005)

I have a question and while it seems to be somewhat on topic I'll ask it here. I'm relatively new to baby wearing. I wear my daughter almost all of the time at home and when we are out. But I never would have thought to not use a child safety seat when in a vehicle. Am I correct in understanding that many people don't use carseats? And I am by no means being judgemental. Just curious.


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## Tupelo Honey (Mar 24, 2004)

NO, it is NEVER ok not to have the baby in a carseat in the car. People are just saying they don't use the bucket-style seats outside of the car as a carrier seat. I don't think anyone here drives with their baby in a sling, as well they shouldn't.


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## Carolinamidwife (Dec 18, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tupelo Honey*
Sheena, please don't be upset. I really did not mean to hurt your feelings, and I do see your point about needing a place to vent. I think I've just been sort of ruminating on the anti-bucket posts for a while, and finally decided to speak up. I didn't mean to make you feel like your opinion needed to be censored.









Eh, it's me. I'm caustic and always have been and today I have PMS so I'm just being over sensitive. Sorry for snapping at you.


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## boatbaby (Aug 30, 2004)

Original poster here back for some clarifications!

#1 OF COURSE we always keep the baby in the car seat when driving. There are manufacturers who make infant car seats that do not come out of the car -- no bucket. Like the Britax Marathon. We have had this convertible, non-bucket style seat since DS was born. That is why we never used a baby bucket. I looked at them in the store while I was preggo -- and they seemed hard to carry even empty. So I knew it wasn't for me.
Like I said - I have it down to an art, DS falls asleep in the car seat all the time and I can easily get him out and into the Ergo and he stays fast asleep.

#2 The post was not meant to be a criticism of those who use strollers and buckets -- I just wanted to hear from other swho have done without - se how they have faired?

Much of the reason we don't have the typical contraptions is because we live on a boat and don't have space. But having gone 13 months without now, I realize how they are not really "must haves" and how easily you can do without. If you never had it, you don't miss it!

This is not supposed to be a debate -- just a roll call and hey let's share experiences in baby wearing day in and day out!


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## Carolinamidwife (Dec 18, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SlightlyCrunchyMom*
I have a question and while it seems to be somewhat on topic I'll ask it here. I'm relatively new to baby wearing. I wear my daughter almost all of the time at home and when we are out. But I never would have thought to not use a child safety seat when in a vehicle. Am I correct in understanding that many people don't use carseats? And I am by no means being judgemental. Just curious.

No, that's not what I meant. We used a convertible carseat, a Britax Roundabout... it doesn't have a bucket seat.


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## Jes'sBeth (Aug 30, 2004)

We're a big baby wearing family here too though we also use and love our stroller. We don't have an infant car seat, just a convertable and our daughter does all of her daytime sleeping on us in carriers or just in our arms at home.

We use our stroller when we're going on LONG walks where we're running errands and buying groceries. We time them for nap time and our daughter falls asleep in the stroller almost immediately, we get our errands done and then when she wakes up she comes into one of our carriers and we do the shopping and fill up the stroller with groceries :LOL

We picked our stroller to introduce our daughter to our stroller very carefully so that we would be able to introduce our daughter to the many activities that we participate in as safely as possible. It will convert to a bike trailer when our daughter is big enough to bike next summer (she needs to be a year old to be safe) and also has a ski attachment (we do a lot of cross country skiing here) and will be a safer option for us when we skate next winter (we live in Ottawa and the canal in the middle of the city is turned into an 8 km skateway each winter...)

We also find that we just get so sore with just our carriers sometimes especially since we walk for almost all of our errands. We do love babywearing though and I would say we're probably a 90% of the time baby wearing family and we love every minute of it


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## Past_VNE (Dec 13, 2003)

Hiya boatbaby!

We have gone out more than 200 times with Jett, certainly and have used the snooty expensive umbrella stroller that MIL gave us exactly twice. (We hated it and desperately wish it was a useful jogging stroller so we could go run or rollerblade.) So, we're in the >99% category of babywearing.

We use an adjustable sling and a mei tai. I checked out that frameless backpack you were talking about and want to see one in person...it may suit us for our short hikes.

Our attempts at baby strollering were so fraught with annoyance that I can't foresee the next time we'll use the damned thing. So, from a while back, we are 100% babywearers.


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## pamelamama (Dec 12, 2002)

I have unapologetically owned and used all sorts of baby holding devices from swings to slings! Happy kids, happy mama, happy trails!







No dull lost expressions, no propped bottles while mama sips cabernet, etc.









This thread made me a little nervous ... seeming a bit like competitive mothering, y'know? How AP are _you_? I carried my twins and tandem nursed until they entered kindergarten! Oh yeah, well I carried my toddler in a sling through nine months of pregnancy and breech delivery (homebirth! in water!) Really, well my triplets have never been out of physical contact with me ever, and they are fifteen now! :LOL

I love when we support each other in making choices that work well for our families!


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## buglette (Feb 8, 2005)

well said pamelamama! i use carriers, a bucket, a jumperoo, whatever works for my babe. she loves her jumperoo more than anything except her mama.

that said, back to the op. i am now pretty much exclusively wearing/carrying my babe, except i do haul out her carseat and snap it into the stroller if she is sleeping as she will not stay asleep if i move her into a sling. also, she's not that keen on slings/mei tais/wraps for long periods of time, so i usually just end up with her in my arms.


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## santina (Jun 4, 2005)

I'm not trying to critisize anyones choices, but I have noticed a glazed over look on babies in buckets. However, I think these are the babies that get left in the buckets 24/7. Every time I am out I see babies crying in their strollers and mothers ignoring them, or just trying to rock the stroller. I have a problem with this, why don't they pick up their baby? Artifical holding devices have their place, but they shouldn't be a babysitter.

I get critisized for babywearing all the time. My own mother says it is not healthy and I need to put my ds in a stroller. This is the one place where I felt I could share my love for babywearing and say how I really felt. I didn't think we were having a "I'm more crunchy" competition. I don't think anyone here would leave a baby in a bucket 24/7.

There is a big differnce between using holding devices exclusively and using them occasionally. I don't see anything wrong with using artifical holding devices if the baby is happy and playing, but if the baby is upset - that's a different story. My ds has a swing and loves it, he reaches for it when he wants to go in it.


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## lula (Feb 26, 2003)

DD was not in a stroller until she was almost 3 and then rarely. We used a "baby bucket" as a carseat but only carried her in it to/from the house because of cold etc. She was never carried in it or placed in it otherwise.

I found the stroller to be very useful when she was heavier and we were walking long distances or in inconvient areas (i.e. hot Vegas days and she is eating ice cream) so we have a jogging stroller and umbrella stroller.

I don't understand why anyone would use a stroller (minus jogging or physical needs) on a small light child, so we just never did.


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

I did that for a while with my first baby. I did have a carseat, but it stayed in the car- I never carried her in it.

I didn't even buy a stroller until she was 6mo, and even then we didn't use it all that much. What was happening was that we'd walk to friends' homes on Shabbat, and she'd fall asleep in the sling, and I wouldn't have anyplace to put her down (on the floor wasn't safe with the hosts' children running around!) Also, it was getting hot out and it was often too hot for BOTH of us to have her in a sling or hip carryer.

I started using the stroller a LOT when she was about 10mo and I was pg again- I even bought an umbrella stroller to keep in the trunk of the car (since I had trouble lifting the bulkier stroller we already had.) When my 2nd dd was born, I found it easier to push a double stroller than to push a single stroller while wearing a baby in the sling- besides, often the infant would be content in the stroller and the toddler needed attention, plus she was born in the late spring and it was just too darn hot to wear her on long trips!!!

When I was expecting my 3rd, I bought a brand new sling and a used stroller. Both got plenty of use. By then, I was less worried about doing everything "right" (according to Dr Sears, LLL, etc) and more practical. I actually set up a crib (in my bedroom) before he was born, and it even got used on a fairly regular basis.


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## boatbaby (Aug 30, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pamelamama*
I have unapologetically owned and used all sorts of baby holding devices from swings to slings! Happy kids, happy mama, happy trails!







No dull lost expressions, no propped bottles while mama sips cabernet, etc.









This thread made me a little nervous ... seeming a bit like competitive mothering, y'know? How AP are _you_? I carried my twins and tandem nursed until they entered kindergarten! Oh yeah, well I carried my toddler in a sling through nine months of pregnancy and breech delivery (homebirth! in water!) Really, well my triplets have never been out of physical contact with me ever, and they are fifteen now! :LOL

I love when we support each other in making choices that work well for our families!










Once again - this is NOT a competition. We are in the BABY WEARING THREAD. So why would we get into the other gadgets? Why is it that mamas who exclusively cloth diaper or breast feed are ok around here -- but if you start wanting to JUST CHAT about exclusively doing some other form of AP parenting -- people get defensive?

I don't think asking about exclusive babywearing in a babywearing forum is "competitive mothering"...
I JUST wanted to exchange chat and ideas with other mamas who had gone through babyhood full time babywearing...
Isn't that what this place is all about -- a safe place to discuss natural parenting choices with other like minded mamas?

This is supposed to be a fun chat for sling junkies!


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## Quindin (Aug 22, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *boatbaby*
Once again - this is NOT a competition. We are in the BABY WEARING THREAD. So why would we get into the other gadgets? Why is it that mamas who exclusively cloth diaper or breast feed are ok around here -- but if you start wanting to JUST CHAT about exclusively doing some other form of AP parenting -- people get defensive?

I don't think asking about exclusive babywearing in a babywearing forum is "competitive mothering"...
I JUST wanted to exchange chat and ideas with other mamas who had gone through babyhood full time babywearing...
Isn't that what this place is all about -- a safe place to discuss natural parenting choices with other like minded mamas?

This is supposed to be a fun chat for sling junkies!









:


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## inchwormz (May 26, 2005)

Rowdypea said:


> Of course we use our stroller--what else am I supposed to carry our packages in when my arms are full of a baby? :LOL
> 
> 
> > Yep, this is us! People are always starting at me 'cause I am pushing an empty stroller in the grocery store, but it's only there to carry the groceries home in! :LOL


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## Carolinamidwife (Dec 18, 2001)

Quote:

Once again - this is NOT a competition. We are in the BABY WEARING THREAD. So why would we get into the other gadgets? Why is it that mamas who exclusively cloth diaper or breast feed are ok around here -- but if you start wanting to JUST CHAT about exclusively doing some other form of AP parenting -- people get defensive?

I don't think asking about exclusive babywearing in a babywearing forum is "competitive mothering"...
I JUST wanted to exchange chat and ideas with other mamas who had gone through babyhood full time babywearing...
Isn't that what this place is all about -- a safe place to discuss natural parenting choices with other like minded mamas?
Thank you! I apologize if my posts took us over to the other side but I really meant it in the spirit of what you just said.


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## inchwormz (May 26, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *boatbaby*
This is supposed to be a fun chat for sling junkies!


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## Past_VNE (Dec 13, 2003)

I wish I could classify myself as a sling junkie...but I don't have enough.









Sometimes I wish I didn't subscribe to such a minimalist, anti-consumeristic lifestyle. I would kill to have a whole ton of slings to match my every whim, mood and outfit....oh, and the weather, too!


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## boatbaby (Aug 30, 2004)

There you go! Slings to match your outfits! That would be great -- but most slings cost more than most of my outfits :LOL


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## spearso (Nov 4, 2003)

used the infant carseat until kids were 20 lbs. If baby was awake when car stopped moving, baby came in sling. If baby was asleep, baby stayed in carseat, and was transferred to stroller. I was never fortunate enough to have 'great' sleepers, I knew well enough not to wake them if they were sleeping, lol. DD#2 is 2.5 years old now, and riding in the stroller has become a novelty for her (though she hops in and out at her own leisure). Suits me fine, I'm 9 months pg, and watching my 4 year old on her bike.

What's with the term 'baby bucket'? It's kind of lame....

susie


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## Carolinamidwife (Dec 18, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *spearso*

What's with the term 'baby bucket'? It's kind of lame....

susie









It's because the baby is often carried dangling down while the seat is carried by the handle like a bucket. And, FYI: Some people find use of the word "lame" offensive.


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## Lucysmama (Apr 29, 2003)

We have a jogging stroller that we use maybe twice a week, and we actually use it to JOG, lol!!! Everyone in my neighborhood has one, but I never see anyone jogging?!?!? I think it is a baby status symbol, lol! Like, "Chek out my Sport Utility Stroller!"

Anyway, other than that we babywear or just plain old hold him. Holding our baby...we are SO old fashioned!!!


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## sagepixie (Nov 1, 2004)

My little boy was ALWAYS carried. He only had a big car seat until we went on vacation to Kauii and I didn't feel like lugging it around. We did have a stroller but he would scream if set down so it didn't matter.

Right before his sister was born and he was 2 years old he finally agreed to go into the stroller for short trips in non crowded areas. If it was crowded enough that people *might* bump into the stroller it was a no go.

When my little miss was about 6 months I got a big ol double jogging stroller with a swivel wheel in front. Mostly for when my son and his little friends go to the aquarium. He can ride with his friends and they can both stand up on/in it to see the exhibits.

Little miss in now the big 01 and last weekend I carried her, for the first time, in her bucket sleeping into the book store. OMG!! That thing is heavy. when I carry her into the house to transfer her to the bed I use both hands. But walking through the parking lot holding my 3 yr olds hand I was forced to do that arm through the handle thing. I thought my back was going to break.

AACK!!

I LOVE LOVE LOVE my carriers and my babies do to.


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## Rivka5 (Jul 13, 2005)

I love my Maya Wrap and wear my daughter quite a bit. When she was tiny she was either held, slung, or coslept-with for about 23.5 hours a day. She still gets held or slung quite a bit (she takes all her naps in the sling), but now she wants to spend more of her waking time lying on the floor squirming around.

I love the sling for restaurants, church, parties, when I bring her to work - anywhere that I can't just put Alex on the floor and let her play, or where I might need my arms for something besides baby-holding.

However, I have disabilities which make it uncomfortable to carry her in the sling for long distances. So for our walks and for trips to the mall or whatever I use a stroller. I think she likes it - it's easier to wave her arms and legs, which she's a big fan of these days, and she can look around more easily. I do carry the sling with me, so that if she gets fussy or sleepy I can sling her. Or if she's in a fussy mood, but we have to go shopping in the neighborhood, like to the corner grocery store, I'll just sling her the whole way. But it definitely reduces my mobility.

I hate to think of someone seeing us in the mall and thinking how sad it is that I have a "bucket baby," when in fact it might be the first hour out of the last 24 that she hasn't been in direct contact with Mom.


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## Hera (Feb 4, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *boatbaby*
Anybody exclusively babywear?

Yes, but only in the summer. In the winter, it's too cold to go without clothes...









We used a bucket a couple of times when the babies were little and floppy, so we could put them on a high chair in a restaurant when the food came. I have two strollers, both of which live at my mom's house. The carriers hurt her shoulders, although I have just recently found something that will work for her. I like to travel light, and don't like pushing around a stroller. I may reach a stage where the baby is too heavy to wear long-term, but lacks the endurance to walk for a long time. A stroller would come in handy then.

I do like my dad's philosophy, though. He says "You bring the stroller so you have somewhere to put the diaper bag."


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## cuddlebug (Jun 29, 2005)

I consider myself to be an exclusive babywearer. I don't own a baby bucket, I hate them and I am so tired of seeing those poor babies in them with the bottle propped to thier mothes (I am glad that other people call them baby buckets) I also call cribs baby cages and don't own one of those either and people ask me where he sleeps and I tell them, with me, on on me. I do own a buggy however because my mum bought it for me, and ds does like going on walks in it everyonce in awhile, but I don't take it anywhere with me, that seems to much of a pain for me. Maybe whae I have another child.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Do you get a special shiny mommy badge for "exclusive" baby wearing?

I mostly wear my babies when they are babies. Even with more than one, it is easier to have one in a sling and one holding each hand. Of course, next baby, I will be out of hands, so who knows what will happen.

When they get older, they walk, or are slung (slinged? slang?) or we use the- GASP!- umbrella stroller. We walk around a lot in the summer, and it gets hot. Plus I can stick the library books in the basket.

My husband was still slinging my daughter at age 3 (she's a tiny little thing), but we see it as a tool, not a goal.


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## gardenpoetry (Aug 20, 2003)

My goal is to interact with my child as much as possible. It is hard for me as I work a lot - as a part time music teacher, math tutor and sewing mama. I am busy!!!

When I am out and about, I love to wear my baby. So, yes, the goal is to interact and hold my child as much as possible. It is not a burden at all, but a pleasure!

No badges here, just a mom feeling like she is doing the best she can to interact and respond to her children's needs. If, for me, that is by wearing him exclusively, then it is for me. But not so for everyone!


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gardenpoetry*
No badges here, just a mom feeling like she is doing the best she can to interact and respond to her children's needs. If, for me, that is by wearing him exclusively, then it is for me. But not so for everyone!

Well how about that- I feel the same way. :LOL

ETA: Your post reminded me when Michael was a baby I used to teach piano lessons with him in the backpack, and taught Kindermusik with him in the sling. We used to take him to choir, and my husband would wear him in the front pack, and he would track the choir directors movements with his eyes. He's very musical to this day!


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## Carolinamidwife (Dec 18, 2001)

I'm hoping I made it clear (pretty sure I did) that what I am opposed to is babies in buckets for hours on end. I don't care one way or another if you carry your baby in the bucket into the dry cleaner or the drug store but come on, we all know when we're seeing a baby in the mall for 3 hours and a lunch in the carseat/stroller combo. That's why those things exist.

ETA: I do see babywearing as a goal, especially when I know I will be busy. If I can combine running errands with bonding time for my baby I aim to do that. If I wear her when we are out it is more likely she will be content on her own at home when I have things to do and can't wear her.


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## morgainesmama (Sep 1, 2004)

Oh, Hera, thanks for the laugh!!!


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## Quindin (Aug 22, 2003)

Another reason not mentioned as to why I forsake my stroller:

I am having a blast making and buying these gorgeous things that happened to be the prettiest accessories AND tools I own







And best of all - both baby and I get to enjoy them!!!!

I thought building a diaper stash was fun - carriers are even better!!!


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## meco (Mar 1, 2004)

For those of you who use strollers as grocery holders:

You might want to check these out. They hold way more than a stroller ever could, plus all my recycling, my laundry and more. (I have a granny cart and a shopping trolley). I know The Container Store sells them, but other places do too.


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## Quindin (Aug 22, 2003)

Most people in Brazil have one of those for shopping at the open air produce sales on the weekends.


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## Tupelo Honey (Mar 24, 2004)

Cuddlebug, did you read the rest of this thread before you posted?


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## santina (Jun 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hera*
Yes, but only in the summer. In the winter, it's too cold to go without clothes...


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## cuddlebug (Jun 29, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tupelo Honey*
Cuddlebug, did you read the rest of this thread before you posted?

did I miss something? Sorry, NAK, can you tell by my spelling? lol I reread my post, and I see that I kind of went on a tangent, but I don't understand why you pointed me out.


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## Quindin (Aug 22, 2003)

I did not either









Is it the wors used? Or is it because she mentioned not liking buckets and cribs after some people had said they had no problem with other baby gadgets?

If the latter is the case, I don't understand why a comment saying this is not a competition again (after some people had explained that was not what they were trying to do) was not pointed out also...

Just confused


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## Tupelo Honey (Mar 24, 2004)

I guess I was just surprised that someone would say "I don't own a baby bucket, I hate them and I am so tired of seeing those poor babies in them with the bottle propped to thier mothes (I am glad that other people call them baby buckets) I also call cribs baby cages" after we had just had the whole conversation about saying harshly judgemental things when really you can't know what's going on with someone's whole parenting style just because you see them for 30 minutes at the mall or whatever.

To me advocacy just isn't about calling things derogatory names and making snap judgements that someone must not love their baby because they don't sling them. A lot of people still don't have access to good babywearing info because they don't even know to look for it. I would hate for someone to come to this board only to hear that she has been emotionally abusing her baby by using a stroller, when she never even knew there was an issue there.

And for the record, I've gotten several pms that say basically "thank you for what you posted on the Excl. B'wearing thread. I felt so judged for sometimes using X, Y, or Z, that I didn't even want to post." How does that advance the cause of babywearing? What ever happened to giving people the benefit of the doubt? I choose to believe that most mothers DO love their babies and do the best they know how.


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## Quindin (Aug 22, 2003)

All I had for 4 years when DD and DS were born was a European baby carriage (the big one). According to Scandinavian tradition, I even had DD and DS sleep outside (with a monitor) in a carriage at home or when I went quickly inside a store (shocking I know, but all moms do that there). I personally think that I did a FANTASTIC job caring for my babies even though I did not have carriers. I was always paying attention to their cues and was always there to pick them up when they needed me. Most of the time I would push empty strollers while I held my babies :LOL They are now very smart, independent and healthy school age kids.

Then I found out BW and a whole new world opened up for me. It is even easier for me to understand what my baby wants and wearing him all day was what save me from falling into PPD! I personally find that DS#4 did look more alert sooner than DD and DS#1 even though I never left them in a stroller or seat all day long. Why? I don't know - it is just something I have noticed.

Boatbaby put it very well - this is not intended to be a competition. And like Santina, I have nothing against the use of helpful devices occasionally, but I do find it a problem when babies are left in them most of the time. It seems that the people who are PMing you are failing to see that we do know there is a difference and are not criticizing them for using these other tools.

I am criticized for wearing my baby A LOT, and forums like this are the only place where I feel comfortable raving about my carriers and how much DS loves them. It is also nice to be able to vent that I think it is wrong that many of the people I know will leave their babies in bouncers and cribs all day long.

Nobody complains when people have strong opinions about sposies in the Diapering Forum and Bottle Feeding in the Breastfeeding Forum. So why are people getting so defensive when Baby Wearing mamas express that they personally don't really think that bouncers and buckets are the ideal places for babies to be for so long??


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *polihaupt*
Nobody complains when people have strong opinions about sposies in the Diapering Forum and Bottle Feeding in the Breastfeeding Forum. So why are people getting so defensive when Baby Wearing mamas express that they personally don't really think that bouncers and buckets are the ideal places for babies to be ??

Cloth diapering is something you can do exclusively, or with sposies at times.

Breastfeeding is something you can do exclusively, or supplementing with formula at times.

Babywearing is something you can exclusively, or with use of "containers" at times.


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## Tupelo Honey (Mar 24, 2004)

To me it's not about strong opinions, it's about the language used. I don't think there's any doubt that I believe in the power of babywearing and do everything I can to get more people doing it. Just about any woman wearing a sling in Memphis, TN right now either bought it from or was taught to use it at Mothersville. And to use your comparison, as a very strong bf advocate, I find it most *unhelpful* to advocacy when people say things like "formula kills babies...ff babies smell gross...I want to throw up when I see a baby being ff'd." And I've definitley seen lots and lots of debate about that on boards. As for dipes, when I see someone convinced babies are medically harmed by wearing disposables, I just have to







because it's just so silly to me.

The point is, advocacy is about education. Calling someone names and insulting their choices is NEVER going to win someone over to a new way of thinking. It's just going to make them talk about "those ___ nazis."








I would rather see a mainstream mama open up to at least trying a sling than see her chased off by derogatory language. Maybe it's the English teacher in me, but I believe words are very powerful, and that the words we choose matter a great deal.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tupelo Honey*
To me it's not about strong opinions, it's about the language used.









: , except for the nazi part. I don't think it's ever OK to use that word our of context in casual conversation.

And honestly, it was this thread being started by the same poster at the same time as the self-congratulatory "container free parenting" thread that got my dander up.


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## SlingMomEsq (Mar 1, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tupelo Honey*
To me it's not about strong opinions, it's about the language used. I don't think there's any doubt that I believe in the power of babywearing and do everything I can to get more people doing it. Just about any woman wearing a sling in Memphis, TN right now either bought it from or was taught to use it at Mothersville. And to use your comparison, as a very strong bf advocate, I find it most *unhelpful* to advocacy when people say things like "formula kills babies...ff babies smell gross...I want to throw up when I see a baby being ff'd." And I've definitley seen lots and lots of debate about that on boards. As for dipes, when I see someone convinced babies are medically harmed by wearing disposables, I just have to







because it's just so silly to me.

The point is, advocacy is about education. Calling someone names and insulting their choices is NEVER going to win someone over to a new way of thinking. It's just going to make them talk about "those ___ nazis."








I would rather see a mainstream mama open up to at least trying a sling than see her chased off by derogatory language. Maybe it's the English teacher in me, but I believe words are very powerful, and that the words we choose matter a great deal.

Tupelo Honey, as always, you are very wise.


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## Tupelo Honey (Mar 24, 2004)

Thanks Gretchen.









Just to clarify, I don't think it's ok to use the term nazi in that way either. I was just pointing out that that's what people say.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tupelo Honey*







Thanks Gretchen.









Just to clarify, I don't think it's ok to use the term nazi in that way either. I was just pointing out that that's what people say.

I know- it just creeps me out.


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## Quindin (Aug 22, 2003)

ITA Tupelo Honey - choosing the wrong words can be very damaging, specially when one is trying to advocate BF, CD or BW.

Having said that, I believe that the mamas who had strong feelings against buckets and bouncers and expressed them, probably did so because they felt this was a safe place to vent since this is the Baby Wearing forum in a AP board. I really think they assumed other mamas who post here felt the same way... If they were trying to advocate BW in mainstream website or even in the other non-BW boards, I am sure they would not have expressed themselves in the same way.


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## Past_VNE (Dec 13, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie*
And honestly, it was this thread being started by the same poster at the same time as the *self-congratulatory* "container free parenting" thread that got my dander up.


















I think she, and many others, have made it perfectly clear that it's not about that.







:

If you folks aren't interested in being part of the topic, just go away. I've said it before, when I wander into a religious thread or some other topic that doesn't interest me, I don't bombard everyone with my opinions...I just read, or don't...and leave.


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## Carolinamidwife (Dec 18, 2001)

ITA with all of Polihaupt's posts, 100%.


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## Quindin (Aug 22, 2003)

Just wondering:

Someone from another site mentioned that they find the word "bucket" offensive. Is it something everyone thinks? If so, I am sorry if my use of that word offended anyone. English is my 3rd language and I have only known carseats that you can carry around as "buckets"


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## Shellmomma (Apr 3, 2005)

it's funny, I've never heard them referred to as buckets until about a month ago. And this is my second child.

and no, I don't exclusively babywear. I'm a HUGE fan of it, but do as I see fit for the situation.


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## Tupelo Honey (Mar 24, 2004)

Poli, I can see that this may be seen as a "safe" space for venting. I just think we need to keep in mind that we don't know who may be reading. Expectant frist-time moms, or people who have older children who were parented differently and probably already feel guilty about not doing everything "right" because they didn't know. There is really no safe space on the internet where you can just say whatever you want without having to worry about who will read it or how it will be perceived.
Oh, and I'm not offended by the term bucket if it's just being used to differentiate the different types of seats. I'm really not that easily offended.

Also, the fact that the topic asked IF anyone excl. b'wears shows that the poster understood that evern here, this may not be the norm. So the argument that no one on this board seemed likely to be an offending bucket-baby-mama doesn't really hold water to me. And even if they did innocently believe no one would be offended, that has been shown to be incorrect.

Past VNE, I am very interested in the topic, and I will not go away, nor do I appreciate being told to go away. People may not have intended or thought their posts to be competetive, but that's how some of them came across. People can't read our intentions, they can only read our words. Harsh labels are judgemental and off-putting and harmful to babywearing and AP advocacy in general.


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## Carolinamidwife (Dec 18, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *polihaupt*
Just wondering:

Someone from another site mentioned that they find the word "bucket" offensive. Is it something everyone thinks? If so, I am sorry if my use of that word offended anyone. English is my 3rd language and I have only known carseats that you can carry around as "buckets"

I always assumed they were called buckets because they're a bucket style seat... like bucket seats in a car.


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## Past_VNE (Dec 13, 2003)

I've always heard them called buckets, from as far back as I can recall.

Tupelo Honey, you ARE contributing to the thread, albeit not in the intended fashion. My post wasn't directed at you.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

No, it was directed to me. You can tell because she quoted me and everything- I feel so special. And I am contributing to the thread, dear. You may not like what I have to say, but you have no right to tell anyone they don't have the right to post.

I think calling them baby buckets is derogatory. You carry things in buckets, not people, not babies. Even a bucket-style seat is generally called, well, a bucket-*style* seat, not a bucket. When I have used the term baby bucket (and I have used it) my intention was never to describe the carrier, but to convey the idea that the child was being toted about like a pail of water.

As I said, and I trust this is enough part of the original topic that I have permission to add to the thread, I use my carrier a great deal, but certainly not exclusively, as there have been times when other methods of baby carrying have come in handy. I have never personally seen "exclusive" babywearing as a goal, since I see the other items simply as tools, not as something to be avoided at all costs.


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## Past_VNE (Dec 13, 2003)

We all know you have the right to post here. I never said anything about rights.


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## pamelamama (Dec 12, 2002)

You know why I wanted to be the moderator of the babywearing forum? It's EASY because there's no DRAMA!

Can we please disagree respectfully and keep the nasty sarcasm down? Bring your concerns to your mama colleagues in a more constructive way, please?

If this thread gets much worse I'm gonna move it to activism or something.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Sorry pamelamama







:


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## Quindin (Aug 22, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tupelo Honey*
Poli, I can see that this may be seen as a "safe" space for venting. I just think we need to keep in mind that we don't know who may be reading. Expectant frist-time moms, or people who have older children who were parented differently and probably already feel guilty about not doing everything "right" because they didn't know. There is really no safe space on the internet where you can just say whatever you want without having to worry about who will read it or how it will be perceived.
Oh, and I'm not offended by the term bucket if it's just being used to differentiate the different types of seats. I'm really not that easily offended.

Great point







Important to remember for future reference.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pamelamama*
You know why I wanted to be the moderator of the babywearing forum? It's EASY because there's no DRAMA!

Can we please disagree respectfully and keep the nasty sarcasm down? Bring your concerns to your mama colleagues in a more constructive way, please?

If this thread gets much worse I'm gonna move it to activism or something.









Maybe we should all give the benefit of the doubt and not quickly assume that people are intending to be hurtful or judgemental (like for example assuming that all the moms who posted about BW exclusively were somehow saying that they are better ).

In the same way, in the future it might be better to think of this as NOT as closed a forum, and that things that we say might be misunderstood or hurt others. It is easy to forget sometimes that (quoting Tupelo) "we don't know who may be reading"

I stopped posting reading a lot of the other boards here because of the controversy. The Babywearing thread is by far the most fun IMO, and it will be nice if it kept being like that


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## mnnice (Apr 15, 2003)

Well I'll show up now and kill the thread. :LOL .

I have several slings, a swing, a stroller, a Kelty backpack, a snugli type thing (dh favorite







) a burley bike cart, a large coaster wagon plus a granny cart like meco showed a link to. I also have a baby bucket that I used for about 5 months with ds1 and 2 months with ds2.

I get tons of postive comments about slings when in public. However, I get more dirty looks from people pushing double strollers than I ever have from bottlefeeders while NIP. Its like they are jealous of how easily I get around with two or something. I think maybe its a little like passing somebody in a broken down new Mercedes on your bike.


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## Tupelo Honey (Mar 24, 2004)

Mnnice, do you put the baby in the granny cart? :LOL JK


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mnnice*

I get tons of postive comments about slings when in public. However, I get more dirty looks from people pushing double strollers than I ever have from bottlefeeders while NIP. Its like they are jealous of how easily I get around with two or something. I think maybe its a little like passing somebody in a broken down new Mercedes on your bike.

I hear what you are saying. I shared on another thread that my husband almost ran into a baby car carrier sitting in the middle of a parking space today- Mom must have gotten the baby out, and then went back into the car for something, because all we could see of her was her rump sticking out of her mini-van. We parked somewhere else and came back with our almost-two-year-old in the sling. She kept giving us the evil eye. Although she might have heard me exclaiming "Why would anyone put a baby down in the middle of a parking lot!" and that could have been why.

I have nursed and babycarried for six years straight now, and I have gotten more nasty comments for having a baby in a sling than I have for breastfeeding. It's odd, really.


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## Past_VNE (Dec 13, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mnnice*
I get tons of postive comments about slings when in public. However, I get more dirty looks from people pushing double strollers than I ever have from bottlefeeders while NIP. Its like they are jealous of how easily I get around with two or something. I think maybe its a little like passing somebody in a broken down new Mercedes on your bike.

Last winter, I spent a lot of evenings walking in the mall. At the time, it was the only reasonable way (time and weather) for me to get a little post-partum exercise. Anyway, never once did I cruise around the mall without getting those miserable glares from some woman with a whole pack mule's worth of crap and one, equally small baby. Apparently, I'm not allowed to be streamlined and unencumbered.









Then, on the other hand, I'm literally chased down when moms with slings see me. Once, I had a mom with a four year old stop and ask me to show my sling to her daughter. She said, "That's how I used to carry you around, Honey." It was so sweet, she obviously wanted to chat more, but seemed very shy, so I invited her to sit. But, he daughter was tugging at her arm, so off they want. It was a nice experience, anyway.

I think your allusion is right, mnnice, that's how it seems, for sure.


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## mnnice (Apr 15, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tupelo Honey*
Mnnice, do you put the baby in the granny cart? :LOL JK

nope its an artifact of my days a urban, single carless girl. now it gets used to hold a leaf bag in while raking.


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## boatbaby (Aug 30, 2004)

Thanks everyone for being so judgemental and twisting my threads here and other places out of context. No matter how many times I try to play nice and have an open discussion with like minded mamas -- I get blasted.
It's nice to know that in a Natural Parenting forum I will get criticized most harshly for wanting to share and discuss my natural parenting choices.

ciao

p.s. thank to those who tried to bring focus to all of this!


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## kymholly (Jul 18, 2004)

Wow... long thread with interesting points.

I used a bucket car seat until my dd outgrew it. I found it easier to put her in it in the house instead of in the car. Plus if she was sleeping when I got to my destination, it was easier *for me* and less disrupative *to her* to carry her in the bucket than it was to transfer her to a carrier. I know this because I read a similar thread back when I first started bwing and I came away from it feeling like I was doing it the hard way. So I tried taking her out of her seat & transferring her to her carrier a few times. As it turned out, for us, the bucket was easier.

I also used a bucket holding stroller for the same reasons whenever I went to the mall. Please note, I did keep my sling in the stroller for when she woke up. Now it does bother me a bit to think that there might be someone who might have seen me in the mall, not knowing about my sling, and *assumed* that I kept my dd in some sort of carrier 24/7. But, I'm not going to loose any sleep over it!









Now that dd is older, I think we've used the stroller once. And I have to admit, my dd LOVED being in it. I think she thought it was a wonderful ride.

I also put my dd in the seat in the grocery cart sometimes (I've got a neat cart-cover), but I also bring in a carrier in case she gets antsy. Of course, now what she really wants is to walk around in the grocery store, so she's really not happy with either of those choices!









That is what has worked best for us so far. Of course, tomorrow's another day, and pretty soon my little one is going to stop letting me carry her anywhere.


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## Tupelo Honey (Mar 24, 2004)

Boatbaby, I'm sorry you feel people are twisting your words or misreading your intention. That certainly wasn't my intent, and I hope I didn't do anything to hurt your feelings.

I think sometimes there is the idea that because MDC is a NP site, there will be no one here who doesn't do all the NP things, so it's ok to say whatever. And some people may wish that were so, and it may have even been so when this was a smaller community. But for better or worse, it is not so now. That's just the reality. Any real, live, flesh and blood mother could read anything we say. What will she come away with?


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## kymberlynn (Jan 29, 2005)

_Even a bucket-style seat is generally called, well, a bucket-style seat, not a bucket._

Where I'm from seats are usually referred to as 'bucket or bench'.







YMMV

We used a baby carrier style car seat (is that more politically correct?) with our first child, but with our second and now third on the way we bought a stay-in-the-car seat. I plan on using slings and/or mei tai's /wraps with this newest bundle of joy. I do own a stroller, it's the one left over from the baby carrier car seat combo thing my mom bought us. I think I'll end up using it more when this baby comes to help me keep track of my 21 month old. She likes to run off :/ This way I can have my baby in the sling and my toddler in the stroller


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

I think the problem here is that so few folks can actually participate without 'buts' and 'once'.

While my other children didn't, 4th UC birthed, still- nursing 6 yr old liked a baby swing we were given. Of course, I need to explain she only liked it a few times, and of course she had a Roundabout. :LOL

Some of us, no matter the dediciation to the needs of our children, can't say we never put a child down. It's not that we are upset, it's simply that we can't participate fully in this particular thread. I am automatically disqualified, no matter any experience I might have in baby-wearing/caring.

Not bashing the OP, just stating the fact. It's not that I am angry or anything. I am mostly amused at the intensity of emotion.

Boatbaby- your babe will benefit from your arms, no question.









More people should carry their babes.

'


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Thank you, UU Mom, for summing up both sides so nicely, I let my emotions get in the way (can I blame it on hormones? It's my first AF in 31 months) but that is exactly what the issue is, with me anyway.


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## kamesennin (Jan 3, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie*
Thank you, UU Mom, for summing up both sides so nicely, I let my emotions get in the way (can I blame it on hormones? It's my first AF in 31 months) but that is exactly what the issue is, with me anyway.

WHAT! The nerve :LOL ! I got AF back after 5 measly months. SOOOO jealous. Oops, back to your regularly scheduled discussion.


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## RedWine (Sep 26, 2003)

Never used a stroller with my first, until she hit 2 or so and did NOT want to be carried anymore, but couldn't walk all by herself sometimes. We then purrchased a cheap, $15 umbrella stroller.

My second child, now 4 1/2 months old, sometimes does not WANT to be carried or held.







Maybe because it's very hot here right now? In any event, we got a double stroller, and half the time I carry her and half the time she rides in the stroller, whichever suits her mood at the time.


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## Linda in OZ (Sep 14, 2003)

With my boys I did everything pretty well mainstream, although I did occasionally use a sling when they were new. although they never really fitted into the buckets, which we call capsules here. We used reversible seats with all 3. With dd5m I was been given 3 cots and 2 prams (one is jogger) and I don't use any of them, But if she gets as heavy as her brothers did I wont have much choice but to use the jogger. I find it so much easier when out and about to not have to cart carriers. I don't even carry a nappy bag, it stays in the car.


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## Mrs Dimples (Apr 17, 2004)

Just a note on the use of the term "bucket", although I have no idea if anyone will read this post way down here at the bottom, especially since there is drama to be found therein







...

When my son was tiny, and I had no sling nor bjorn nor any type of babywearing device, DH and I called his bucket "the bucket" because although we didn't know any other way to transport a baby (aside from in-arms carrying, obviously) we thought it was such a funny way to do it. I mean, you do carry them around by a little handle and they just kind of dangle and bump against your leg and it really is a little...well, bucket! :LOL We always used the term affectionately, just one of those kind of silly things you end up doing for your baby. I thought everyone called them that, and I have never said it to be mean.

Just thought I'd throw that out there. I'm not going to touch the other stuff with a ten-foot pole, I think plenty has been said and I don't think anyone was trying to be hurtful so I'll leave it at that.


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## mehndi mama (May 20, 2003)

LOL, we call the car seat "the bucket", too








I *did* pretty much exclusively babywear with my first - he didn't like to be put down, I didn't own a bucket, he didn't do well in a stroller, and I wanted to hold him as much as I could as he was at daycare whenever I was at school. My mom encouraged it, so that's what I did!
With the rest of them, they were worn a lot of the time, but I can't say exclusively. I'd bring them into the house in the bucket if they had fallen asleep in the car, or if I needed to have the carseat in the house for some reason, or if it was very cold out. And I do use a stroller sometimes when my back or hips are bothering me - I had to use the stroller to get Davey from room to room when he was small & I threw my back out!

I went to Boston over Mother's Day weekend, and LOVED how easy it is to babywear there, with the public transportation & all! No getting a baby in & out of the wrap to strap into a carseat - just hop on the T & go!


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## hubris (Mar 8, 2003)

I sometimes babywear, sometimes carry babe in my actual arms, sometimes use a stroller or infant seat. It all depends on what's happening, what baby needs, what my abilities are at the moment. I guess you could say that I *exclusively* use whatever tool fits the situation.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie*
Cloth diapering is something you can do exclusively, or with sposies at times.

Breastfeeding is something you can do exclusively, or supplementing with formula at times.

Babywearing is something you can exclusively, or with use of "containers" at times.

I agree and disagree at the same time. You can definitely do all of those things exclusively or non-exclusively, but I wouldn't say that supplementing with formula is on par with toting an infant carseat. Of course, now I'm nitpicking your example instead of giving you the benefit of the doubt...hopefully you weren't saying that exclusive babywearing is on equal footing with exclusive breastfeeding or exclusive cloth diapering, as far as parenting decisions go.


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## morgainesmama (Sep 1, 2004)

"...hopefully you weren't saying that exclusive babywearing is on equal footing with exclusive breastfeeding or exclusive cloth diapering, as far as parenting decisions go."

I have tried very hard to stay out of this debate, but I am going to have to step in here ... I have read more than once over the years that it is postulated that it is not simply breastmilk that affects IQ but the ACT of breastfeeding, due to the amount of touch a baby receives. Babies are born with neurons that fire randomly, and it is human touch that organizes those neurons more than anything else, which is why babies who are worn seem to have higher IQs.

There is much more that needs to be studied before any conclusive evidence can be drawn from this. However, I feel equally strongly about babywearing as I feel about breastfeeding. If I did not, then I would not have gone to such huge lengths and sacrifice, sometimes ridiculously so when I'm carrying three children a half mile to the car after a late night of fireworks, for example, to raise my children as close to container-free as possible. I have occasionally used devices as necessary, but rarely. I took the carseat out of the car a few times when my first was an infant, usually for restaurants, but since then I have never taken the seat out except to transfer it to another car or wash it. I have never used a stroller. I have made these choices based on very strong feelings about those choices, and I do feel that carrying a baby is equally important to development as breastmilk.

Babies can die from lack of touch.

I do not judge mothers who make other choices about carrying than the ones I make any more than I judge mothers who feed their children formula. I know many women say that their children don't like to be carried. I also know many women who have said their baby didn't like breastfeeding. However I think of cultures such as those in Africa where babies are not given a choice ... you ride on my back, you drink my milk, or you die. It's that basic.

I also know that I have pushed my own limits, both physical and emotional, by making the parenting and lifestyle choices I have. If my children were closer together, (23 months and 30 months gaps) or I had a physical problem with carrying my children, I don't think an occasional or even frequent use of baby devices would have killed them. Many children are raised with constant use of these and you wouldn't know it, except to examine the shape of their skulls and early head control and physical development, the latter of which will vary among all babies whether carried or no anyway.

I say this not to pass judgement or to make anybody feel badly. However, there are many of us who feel equally strongly about baby carrying as we do about breastfeeding. There are those who feel that passionately about lots of things, whether white sugar or EC (neither of which are my own particular issues) or gentle discipline or whatever. And for each strong opinion, you will find evidence to support it. Many authors have made millions selling books describing evidence that children need independence and that to thrive they must be left alone. Personally I disagree with this theory, as I assume do most of us here or we wouldn't be on this board.

Women who choose not to breastfeed often feel threatened and angered when mothers discuss their choices or sacrifices in breastfeeding exclusively. So do mothers who feed formula occasionally, even though many have very legitimate reasons for doing so. I am seeing the same thing happening here. I think that it is wonderful to discuss the possibilities of exclusive babywearing, as there are mothers who would like to babywear exclusively but are not sure how that woudl fit into their lives.

On the circ board, it is not to be suggested that people circ their babies. On the breastfeeding board, it is not to be suggested that we wean our babies. And I don't see why, on the babywearing board, it is so wrong to suggest that choosing to parent without baby devices can be beneficial to our children. I don't think this thread was begun to attack anyone, but rather to allow us to pat ourselves on the back a little and to discuss the practicality of exclusively carrying a baby on our body in our daily lives.

Feel free to flame me for this post if you feel it's necessary. However, I think that assuming that I (and others) cannot feel as passionate about babywearing as I (and others) do about breastfeeding, genital mutilation, gentle discipline, cosleeping, or 1000 other choices that I (and others) make is pretty harsh. I am not judging your choice by using the term "bucket" or suggesting that babywearing is important. "Bucket" is less inflammatory than "genital mutilation" yet I feel both aptly describe the thing in their own way.

I'm beginning to ramble and repeat myself, so I'll stop now. But seriously. At least three times in the last month I have ended up carrying all three of my children. That's 100 pounds of children. I am far from super fit. I would not make that choice if I didn't feel incredibly strongly about it. And, I'm not alone in that choice, anymore than those choosing to supplement babywearing with various holding devices or to forego babywearing altogether are alone in their choices.

Peace.

Kristi


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## darwinphish (Feb 13, 2005)

Whew! What a thread!









I'm not an exclusive babywearer, but I've thought about it a lot. I *wish* I was one but I've been physically barred from doing so thus far. It doesn't help that she's 21 lbs! :LOL I'm striving to wear her more, now that I'm in better physical shape and that I've given more consideration to the importance of that closeness. I never feel more attached, more close, more *one* with my DD than when I'm wearing her and she falls asleep on me. It is magical.

I really wish more people knew about babywearing, that more people accepted it as part of normal infant-rearing. I have never gotten more unsolicited negative comments than when wearing DD. She sleeps in her Mei Tai, and I almost always get an "isn't she uncomfortable?" or the like. I was in Borders yesterday and a woman (with her 5-month-old grandaughter - no mama in sight - fussing in the stroller) said to me "what the heck is THAT thing?". I told her it was a traditional Chinese carrier and she looked incredulous and let out an audible "hrmph"' before walking away with fussing GD in tow.

Maybe I'll start another thread on babywearing advocacy.

As a woman who couldn't successfully breastfeed (I'm an EP'er), babywearing is the most simple, natural way to bond with my DD. I also 'bottle nurse' but really, wearing DD is the most incredible bonding tool I have.

That said, I try not to judge women with their DC's in infant car seats. I used it a lot in the early days when I couldn't wear DD. Also, I'm more concerned with what a parent does when their DD cries/fusses. Nothing drives me more crazy when a baby is crying and the parent doesn't respond!


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *funshine*
I agree and disagree at the same time. You can definitely do all of those things exclusively or non-exclusively, but I wouldn't say that supplementing with formula is on par with toting an infant carseat. Of course, now I'm nitpicking your example instead of giving you the benefit of the doubt...hopefully you weren't saying that exclusive babywearing is on equal footing with exclusive breastfeeding or exclusive cloth diapering, as far as parenting decisions go.


If you knew me at all, you would know that I am a huge breastfeeding advocate. I was only answering the charge that other forums promote only an all-or-nothing point of view. BUT if I were helping a mama who breastfed and had to supplement with formula some of the time, I would be praising her to the heavens for the breastmilk her baby did get. Likewise, if I met a mama who babycarried even part of the time, I would be supporting her decision.

On the other hand, I am not going to create a heirarchical list of what mamas have to do in order to be considered an attachment parent. AP is about attachment to your baby- the actions are tools that get you there, but the goal isn't to babywear for the sake of babywearing, but for the sake of attachment. To me, anyway, everything else is peripheral. Of course, breastfeeding is a public health issue as well, which puts it in a different place than some of the other attachment parenting "tools".


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *morgainesmama*
On the circ board, it is not to be suggested that people circ their babies. On the breastfeeding board, it is not to be suggested that we wean our babies. And I don't see why, on the babywearing board, it is so wrong to suggest that choosing to parent without baby devices can be beneficial to our children. I don't think this thread was begun to attack anyone, but rather to allow us to pat ourselves on the back a little and to discuss the practicality of exclusively carrying a baby on our body in our daily lives.

Actually, Kristi, people ask for suggestions on weaning their children from the breast or from the family bed all the time. The only "verboten" topics here on mothering are spanking and circumcision. I do realize now that this was meant to be a self-congratulatory thread, and I apologize for raining on anyone's parade. I think it was sufficiently and more eloquently explained why the title got some people's goats. If I started a thread in breastfeeding called "Roll Call for Mama's Whose Babies NEVER had a drop of formula" it would probably grate on people's nerves as well.


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## Carolinamidwife (Dec 18, 2001)

And when people do ask about weaning and getting kids out of their beds how is that idea usually met? With disapproval and alternative suggestions, IME.

ITA with Kristi, very eloquent post.


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## Carolinamidwife (Dec 18, 2001)

I think it's more the way the thread turned, tone-wise, that has been upsetting and I take responsibility for that. I apologize (as I did before as well) for introducing a judgemental tone to the thread.

I don't feel there is anything wrong with being proud of container-free parenting and I think the Babywearing forum is a fine place to toot your own horn.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

I personally try to meet a mama where she's at. I can't really speak for everyone else.


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## Tupelo Honey (Mar 24, 2004)

I just want to reiterate that I have no problem with people feeling passionate about babywearing, or arguing that it is on par with breastfeeding or whatever other parenting choice you want to compare it to. My only point was that I think derogatory language isn't necessary or helpful to advocacy. Personally, I don't really get into self-congratulatory type rhetoric, but that's not to say it's wrong.


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## morgainesmama (Sep 1, 2004)

"BUT if I were helping a mama who breastfed and had to supplement with formula some of the time, I would be praising her to the heavens for the breastmilk her baby did get."

ITA ... I tried to convey that by the tone of my post; I hope I was successful. Even a three hours of carrying in a sling each day reduces crying by 43% - 54% depending on the study you read; any touch and carrying is better than less touch and carrying. Likewise w/breastmilk or many other things. I think I misunderstood your post, then -- it read as though babywearing were far less important than breastfeeding or cloth diapering. Personally, I CD most of the time but use disposables when I'm feeling lazy or overwhelmed; it's not on my list of top priorities. Your post sounded as though it were insane to even begin to compare babywearing with the importance of exclusive bfing or cding.

I don't think "Self-congratulatory" is precisely right here. Babywearing exclusively is a huge lifestyle choice, and involves lots of nuances ... what about preparing dinner/gardening/crafts with the kids/taking a shower/using the toilet/shaving your legs/getting some quiet time/etc. A thread like this (if it hadn't become so hugely volatile) would have been the place to discuss many of those day-to-day issues and challenges and also would encourage those mamas who are on the fence about exclusive babywearing, who would peek in here out of curiosity.

Personally, reviewing the OP, I don't find anything inflammatory there. The "bucket" rhetoric is standard on every natural parenting board I have ever been a part of. It comes up naturally at every babywearing meeting, and I have even heard the term come from my mainstream acquaintances. That is all I can find that is inflammatory ... but then, as an exclusive babywearer, it isn't the kind of thread that would offend me. This thread strikes me as no different than many in the CLW forum ... which incidentally I don't bristle at, even though I weaned my first at 3.5 years and am planning to wean my second at about the same age this fall/winter. I would hate to see that we have to have a totally separate forum for "container free parenting" or "exclusive babywearing" or "mothering without baby gadgets" or whatever in the same way there's a CLW forum. I was pretty startled when I saw the tone of this thread move downward as it did.

Anyway my kids are still restless so I need to go settle them again.

Sorry annettemarie if I misunderstood what you meant; I did not see another way to interpret it.

Kristi


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## Patrice#1 (Mar 12, 2004)

Yes, I exclusively babywear...well, almost exclusively! When I go to the gym to work out, I have to put him in a stroller for the babysitter there (he is 8 months) so that he will not crawl around on the ground. Other than that, yes, he is worn!


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## boatbaby (Aug 30, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *morgainesmama*
"BUT if I were helping a mama who breastfed and had to supplement with formula some of the time, I would be praising her to the heavens for the breastmilk her baby did get."

ITA ... I tried to convey that by the tone of my post; I hope I was successful. Even a three hours of carrying in a sling each day reduces crying by 43% - 54% depending on the study you read; any touch and carrying is better than less touch and carrying. Likewise w/breastmilk or many other things. I think I misunderstood your post, then -- it read as though babywearing were far less important than breastfeeding or cloth diapering. Personally, I CD most of the time but use disposables when I'm feeling lazy or overwhelmed; it's not on my list of top priorities. Your post sounded as though it were insane to even begin to compare babywearing with the importance of exclusive bfing or cding.

I don't think "Self-congratulatory" is precisely right here. Babywearing exclusively is a huge lifestyle choice, and involves lots of nuances ... what about preparing dinner/gardening/crafts with the kids/taking a shower/using the toilet/shaving your legs/getting some quiet time/etc. A thread like this (if it hadn't become so hugely volatile) would have been the place to discuss many of those day-to-day issues and challenges and also would encourage those mamas who are on the fence about exclusive babywearing, who would peek in here out of curiosity.

Personally, reviewing the OP, I don't find anything inflammatory there. The "bucket" rhetoric is standard on every natural parenting board I have ever been a part of. It comes up naturally at every babywearing meeting, and I have even heard the term come from my mainstream acquaintances. That is all I can find that is inflammatory ... but then, as an exclusive babywearer, it isn't the kind of thread that would offend me. This thread strikes me as no different than many in the CLW forum ... which incidentally I don't bristle at, even though I weaned my first at 3.5 years and am planning to wean my second at about the same age this fall/winter. I would hate to see that we have to have a totally separate forum for "container free parenting" or "exclusive babywearing" or "mothering without baby gadgets" or whatever in the same way there's a CLW forum. I was pretty startled when I saw the tone of this thread move downward as it did.

Anyway my kids are still restless so I need to go settle them again.

Sorry annettemarie if I misunderstood what you meant; I did not see another way to interpret it.

Kristi









:







:







:







:


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## mollyeilis (Mar 6, 2004)

Well, it was my intention to never use the bucket (that's simply what I call it, that or "the Graco"), but early on we did a little bit.

Hubby and I each, once, carried DS in the bucket/Graco, just to see why people did it. Neither of us could figure out why. Hubby is incredibly strong, and I am usually quite strong (though post-partum with all my joints very loose, not so much), but it was just HEAVY and so awkward! The handle might be ergonomically designed for your *wrist*, but as a chiropractor (non-practicing nowadays) I have to say there's nothing ergonomic about it for elbows, shoulders, neck, spine, hips, and so on!

After that one each experiment, we haven't carried him in the Graco.

But we did bring it in with us a couple of times, for restaurants and such, when he was still short enough to be in it (he outgrew it by height at 4 months). He seemed so lonely, bored, and passive, though, sitting in there, plus he hated being leaned back that far, so he usually ended up on our laps ASAP.









So that is what technically keeps me from being an exclusive babywearer. Since he was about 4 months old, however, we are. However, I usually carry him with my arms, rather than fabric. I haven't found a piece of fabric yet that's as comfy and easy as my arms, though it's nice to have the option! At festivals we definitely use a Moby(style) wrap, and I just ordered our first mei tai!

My MIL is Korean and gave me one of her podegis, and that's OK but it's quilted material and is far too hot for us.

I like having options; hubby is still trying to figure out my rationale for everything! Arms, shopping cart seat (not the infant seat they have welded on, but the sitting up thing), or hotsling for shopping, Moby for longer walks and trips, who knows what we'll use the mei tai for, and so on.









One of the main reasons I never wanted to use a stroller was b/c I have been run into a million times by strollers. My achilles tendons will never be the same! And I never wanted to be someone who would run into someone with a stroller, so I never got one. Plus, we live on the third floor and drive a Golf! Where on earth would we keep it?









When I'm out and about, I generally don't really look at people. If they are glaring I don't want to see it, and if they are really interested, they will make me aware of them. Just the other day on a big trip to the mall and the mall-attached-Target, back and forth one end to the other twice, several people reacted happily and interestedly to my Hotsling. If anyone reacted negatively, they weren't obvious enough about it for me to notice.









Oh, and the one thing I never ever do while babywearing (or even babyholding) is grimace or make it look like it's at all difficult! Since I hurt my back over a week ago and haven't gotten into see my friend-the-chiro, that's a bit difficult, but I just do NOT want anyone to see me slinging and looking like I'm in pain, and think "ooh that must hurt". So I am slapping a smile on my face and talking to my son, all the while wishing I could drown myself in percocet for the pain LOL. j/k


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## Tupelo Honey (Mar 24, 2004)

Kristi, I guess I'm to blame for things getting volatile It wasn't the OP, or even most of the stuff that was said. It was the specific things I quoted. Personally, any time I see the word "hate" used, it tends to set off flags for me. It's just a really strong word, and one that IMO is overused. So there were a few posts that went beyond just using the term "bucket," which doesn't offend me.

I'm not trying to rehash, as I really would like this thread to fade way. I just wanted to clarify because I think it's being made to seem as if objecting to any part of this thread is just petty and silly, and I don't think that's true. I still feel that certain things needed to be addressed, which is what I did.


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## mollyeilis (Mar 6, 2004)

Ooh, I hope you don't really mean you want the _thread_ to fade away. However, that's what you said so I assume that's what you meant.







I hope it doesn't fade away, but I do hope it can just be a bunch of people who did (or like me technically didn't) exclusively babywear, talking about how great babywearing is and how they didn't find it necessary to use other devices, because there really is NO other place to have such discussions!


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## Tupelo Honey (Mar 24, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mollyeilis*
Ooh, I hope you don't really mean you want the _thread_ to fade away. However, that's what you said so I assume that's what you meant.







I hope it doesn't fade away, but I do hope it can just be a bunch of people who did (or like me technically didn't) exclusively babywear, talking about how great babywearing is and how they didn't find it necessary to use other devices, because there really is NO other place to have such discussions!









Well, if that were what this thread had been, it would be fine. But yes, as it is I think it has not been a great thread, and I'll be glad to see it go to the next page.


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## morgainesmama (Sep 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tupelo Honey*
Well, if that were what this thread had been, it would be fine. But yes, as it is I think it has not been a great thread, and I'll be glad to see it go to the next page.

Hm, I'm with you. I'm not a mod but can we let this die quietly and have a more constructive conversation here? http://www.mothering.com/discussions...50#post3586950

Kristi


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *morgainesmama*
ITA ... I tried to convey that by the tone of my post; I hope I was successful. Even a three hours of carrying in a sling each day reduces crying by 43% - 54% depending on the study you read; any touch and carrying is better than less touch and carrying. Likewise w/breastmilk or many other things.

Awesome- then we are on the same page. If I saw a mama in this town babywearing, I would be so excited I would probably trip over my own feet rushing over to congratulate [email protected]

Quote:

I think I misunderstood your post, then -- it read as though babywearing were far less important than breastfeeding or cloth diapering. Personally, I CD most of the time but use disposables when I'm feeling lazy or overwhelmed; it's not on my list of top priorities. Your post sounded as though it were insane to even begin to compare babywearing with the importance of exclusive bfing or cding.
Yeah, honestly, that is not what I intended to convey. Although I do think breastfeeding is in a catagory all by itself because of it's health benefits for both mother and child, as well as being a public health issue. I mean, even if a mom was decidedly un-AP and un-NFL is other areas of her life, breastfeeding is something she should do for its own sake. Does that make sense?

Quote:

Personally, reviewing the OP, I don't find anything inflammatory there. The "bucket" rhetoric is standard on every natural parenting board I have ever been a part of. It comes up naturally at every babywearing meeting, and I have even heard the term come from my mainstream acquaintances. That is all I can find that is inflammatory ... but then, as an exclusive babywearer, it isn't the kind of thread that would offend me.
Well, as I said before, I probably misread the OP, but it just struck me oddly in conjunction with other posts at the same time. And don't forget those darn hormones. I blame the hormones.







But the judgementalness (is that a word) did come in pretty strongly later in the thread.

Quote:

This thread strikes me as no different than many in the CLW forum ... which incidentally I don't bristle at, even though I weaned my first at 3.5 years and am planning to wean my second at about the same age this fall/winter.
Well, that's a whole other thread :LOL

Quote:

Sorry annettemarie if I misunderstood what you meant; I did not see another way to interpret it.
No, my point was just that they are all tools to get us to the end goal of being attached, rather than being goals in and of themselves, at least in my interpretation of attachment parenting.

It's cool. I know I overreacted on this thread, and I think I apologized. If not, I apologize now.


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