# Wandering hands are making me crazy- help!



## ammiga (Jan 22, 2009)

DS is almost 9 months old. He is a great nurser and until recently we had a great nursing relationship. We are still ok while he is awake, but nursing to sleep has become a huge issue.

DS used to calmly nurse to sleep, and would break his latch just as he fell asleep. He'd snuggle in, and I'd nurse him a few times during the night with the same easy pattern (we co-sleep).

About a week ago, ds started to have "wandering hands" while he nurses. He constantly tries to play with my other breast, grab me, pinch me, etc as he falls asleep. He now nurses with his hand squeezing my breast, and as soon as he breaks his latch to go to sleep, he starts twiddling my nipple. It is driving me nuts! It is uncomfortable and sometimes painful. He is very strong, and quite aggressive with his grabiness.

I have tried calmly moving his hands or subtly distracting them. No luck- he just pushes and searches harder, until he eventually riles himself awake and cries angrily. I can't get him to settle down unless I let him nurse and his hands wander.

Has anyone else experienced this? How do I make it stop? This is not working for me and I need this phase to end. Any advice?


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## PatioGardener (Aug 11, 2007)

My DS tried this. I stopped it by taking his hand and moving it in places that were OK for me. I actually move his hand - it seems that he needs the motion. So I'll bounce it up and down sometimes, or rub his head with it, or rub it on my chest (no grabbing or twiddling!)

His grabbiness has decreased significantly over the last 2 months as well, so there is hope! (he is 11months.)


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## Quinalla (May 23, 2005)

I introduced a lovey blanket, one of those small, soft blankets with an animal head on it and some fabric "tabs" for grabbing and she pinches, rolls, grabs, etc. it. The only redirection I do is if she starts flailing it and hitting me with it, that sort of thing. Occasionally she will go to grab or pinch me, but I just redirect to her blanket and she has been fine. She will sometimes grab her ear, hit/rub her own head, etc. and I don't worry about that either. And it may take a bit to get him redirected to something else or himself, but worth a couple tough nights I think in the long run to get him to stop grabbing you in a way that is uncomfortable/painful.


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## Lisa1970 (Jan 18, 2009)

I think this happens to everyone. I cover my other breast with the blanket. On occassion, he will fight me to still get to it, but, I just hold on. It works fine.


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## nstewart (Nov 6, 2010)

This made me laugh, not at your difficulty, obviously but because my DS has "discovered" my nipples in the last few weeks as well. He's had wandering hands since about 4 months old, but now when he isn't nursing he wants to touch, grab and pull at my nipples. I am letting him explore a bit and tell him "gentle" (which he more or less understands as we have cats and he's been hearing it a long time) in hopes he will discover they aren't THAT interesting. I am one who also re-directs as I find he needs to do something with his hands. A lovey works (he has a giraffe) and I also let him touch my face or my mouth (he is obsessed with teeth) as well.

Good luck!


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## PepperGlenn (Apr 8, 2011)

There is nothing worse than trying to share a special mommy moment with a wriggly little beast who wants to play with everything!

Try putting something soft in his hand. A small softie or paci will work. With my fourth I finally bought a breasfeeding necklace (small chime worn long. it rings during pregnancy and helps soothe once they're born). I learned the hard way to make sure whatever I put in baby's hand to hold during nursing needs to be soft. Otherwise you're likely to get a sound beating!

Good luck to you!


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## cdelune (Jun 5, 2005)

I'm not sure that this will be all that helpful, but maybe interesting . . . a friend of mine's daughter used to do this all the time so when she was old enough to talk, her mom asked her why she did it. Her answer: "To make it yummy"! According to a study I read from the Karolinska Institute (sorry I don't have the citation easily to hand), stimulating the second breast apparently encourages the production of hind-milk, which is richer and creamier. So, a meal on one breast, dessert on the second! Seems it's more than simply curiousity or an annoyance--Mother Nature at work again!


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## CarlaKlein (Apr 8, 2011)

First, I would explore the purpose behind the unwanted touching. Is this an exploratory behaviour? Does your infant use this behaviour as a calming tool? Or is there an alternative explanation behind your infant's touching? From this answer, you can begin to create a plan around how you would like to respond to your infant's behaviour. What is it about the behaviour that makes you uncomfortable? And if you are feeling uncomfortable, know that it is okay to set boundaries around what areas of your body you are comfortable with your infant exploring. These responses will not only begin teaching your infant about personal boundaries, but will also teach self respect and respect for others. What better way to raise your infant!


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## ammiga (Jan 22, 2009)

Yes, my ds does seem to use exploring as a calming or comfort tool. Except when he's just grabbing, and that might have several different reasons.

I'm going to try getting a little blanket for him to hold. Hopefully it will keep him calm and not excited.

My dd never did this, so I was very unprepared for this. I'm glad to hear ds isn't the only baby with this behavior.


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## ilovejeff (Apr 14, 2008)

I simply told dd, "please don't do that. Mama doesn't like it when you do that." and moved her hand to a different place. She now likes to rub my chest with her open palm, which is so sweet (and not at all painful  )


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## kriket (Nov 25, 2007)

We had this issue too. I would just cover my other breast with my hand. He would try to peel it up, but I just held it there. Eventually he would find something else, or drift off.

However, he found moles. I have one on my face, and dare I say, little fingers in your face picking and twiddling your mole is worse than nipple twiddling.... *sigh* so, be sure to cover any easy access moles too!


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