# What is the worst/dumbest thing anyone has ever said to you about parenting stuff? V



## AFWife

From this weekend:

I was saying that I can't have milk and this guy (we'll call him D) says, "You know that none of that gets passed through your breastmilk, right?" I just stared and said, "He gets a rash when I have milk." and he looked surprised.

He also told me that if I fed him solids he'd get teeth sooner (we're 8 months with no teeth)


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## AmyKT

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AFWife* 
From this weekend:

I was saying that I can't have milk and this guy (we'll call him D) says, "You know that none of that gets passed through your breastmilk, right?" I just stared and said, "He gets a rash when I have milk." and he looked surprised.

He also told me that if I fed him solids he'd get teeth sooner (we're 8 months with no teeth)

I love how random men are experts on the female body. Ever have a breastfeeding question, ask a guy on the street!









When DD was still not SSTN (which was until 15 mo), my MIL loved to repeatedly tell of how she cured my husband, her son, of crying at night by letting him cry alone in his crib until he vomited. That fixed him!

Yeah, and maybe that's why he's still emotionally distant from her.


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## kriket

ah... part five and people are still getting horrible parenting advice. There is constancy in this world!


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## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AFWife* 
He also told me that if I fed him solids he'd get teeth sooner (we're 8 months with no teeth)









: Maybe he's confusing teething on hard objects with "eating solids"? If the conversation comes up again, tell him you give him plenty of solids to chew on, but are waiting to give him complementary foods.


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## AFWife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kriket* 
ah... part five and people are still getting horrible parenting advice. There is constancy in this world!

I had actually gone a while without bad advice...and I realized it was because I hadn't really GONE anywhere


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## InMediasRes

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AFWife* 
From this weekend:

He also told me that if I fed him solids he'd get teeth sooner (we're 8 months with no teeth)

I don't get the big deal about teeth. I've had a lot of comments from people who seem to think it's sad when kids teethe late. My DS got his first at 11mo, and DD just got hers at almost 10mo.

I mean, I guess if I was going to give my 6mo pistachios or something... otherwise, I don't think they're really deprived.


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## InMediasRes

From a recent party:

Friend: When did you wean DS? I think I might need to wean my DS (8mo).
Me: 19 mo. I would have gone to 2, but I just couldn't make it through my pregnancy.
Friend: Wow, you can make milk that long?


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## AFWife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *InMediasRes* 
I don't get the big deal about teeth. I've had a lot of comments from people who seem to think it's sad when kids teethe late. My DS got his first at 11mo, and DD just got hers at almost 10mo.
.

The longer I can go without getting broken skin during a bite the better,thank you!


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## RachelGold

Are nonsense.
Once you keep this fact in mind, your life will be
much easier.


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## Jackies Ladybug

my daughter still doesnt have teeth yet at 13 months, MIL is VERY concerned that there is definitely something wrong with her. never mind that i didnt get teeth until 15 months, the same time my mom and grandma popped their first teeth. i guess nothing about my child could possibly resemble anything from MY side of the family!


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## Kidzaplenty




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## Jill0905

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AFWife* 
I had actually gone a while without bad advice...and I realized it was because I hadn't really GONE anywhere 









so true but thanks to the great www, advice is able to be giving online as well!


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## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AFWife* 
The longer I can go without getting broken skin during a bite the better,thank you!

















actually, once the front teeth broke through, she stopped wanting to try to teethe on me.


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## Litcrit

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jackies Ladybug* 
my daughter still doesnt have teeth yet at 13 months, MIL is VERY concerned that there is definitely something wrong with her. never mind that i didnt get teeth until 15 months, the same time my mom and grandma popped their first teeth. i guess nothing about my child could possibly resemble anything from MY side of the family!

When dh's cousin was a year old and still had no teeth, a nice ped asked the parents 'Have you ever seen a person who never grew any teeth?'

This calmed them.


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## writteninkursive

Hilarious thread! I guess you don't get teeth until you prove to them that you need them then, eh?









I think my favorite "advice" was that my kids are going to die of polio since I'm not vaccinating them. Because death by polio is really, really common! I also get told roughly 30-40 times per pregnancy that if I have a VBAC, my uterus will rupture and I will die, FOR SURE. Lol. Oookkkay.


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## 2xy

My BIL (who is DH's brother, and DH is not my kids' dad, so he is no relation to my kids) asked me (randomly and without provocation) *what gives me the right to homeschool my children*...?

Unfortunately, I work with this buffoon. And he is extremely arrogant and judgmental in many ways...this is just one of them, I guess.

I just looked at him and flatly said, "The Constitution."

He didn't say anything else about it after that.


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## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Litcrit* 
When dh's cousin was a year old and still had no teeth, a nice ped asked the parents 'Have you ever seen a person who never grew any teeth?'

This calmed them.









Shirley Temple never got her secondary teeth, but that's a completely different thing.


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## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2xy* 
My BIL (who is DH's brother, and DH is not my kids' dad, so he is no relation to my kids) asked me (randomly and without provocation) *what gives me the right to homeschool my children*...?

Unfortunately, I work with this buffoon. And he is extremely arrogant and judgmental in many ways...this is just one of them, I guess.

I just looked at him and flatly said, "The Constitution."


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## KristyDi

I was at a playground w/ a good friend recently our dd's, both 21 months were hanging out and playing. We were chatting and her 6 month old dd was in her car seat watching everything.

The woman sitting next to us said many many dumb things in the 15 min we were there before she left. This was my favorite.

Several of the older kids, including this woman's daughter and an older toddler boy (maybe 3 or 4 years old) had come over and were playing with my friend's 6 month old. This was fine with my friend and the baby was happy. The woman's daughter said, "Look mama we're playing with baby!" the woman's brilliant response. . .

"Oh, he dosen't want to play with the baby! He's a _BOY_!"

I guess that despite the fact that this little boy was in fact playing with a baby and smiling and laughing, that boys never never like babies.


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## Wild Lupine

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2xy* 
My BIL (who is DH's brother, and DH is not my kids' dad, so he is no relation to my kids) asked me (randomly and without provocation) *what gives me the right to homeschool my children*...?

I just looked at him and flatly said, "The Constitution."


Awesome answer!


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## KaliShanti

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AFWife* 
He also told me that if I fed him solids he'd get teeth sooner (we're 8 months with no teeth)


Quote:


Originally Posted by *InMediasRes* 
From a recent party:

Friend: When did you wean DS? I think I might need to wean my DS (8mo).
Me: 19 mo. I would have gone to 2, but I just couldn't make it through my pregnancy.
Friend: Wow, you can make milk that long?









Thanks for the laugh!


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## Baby_Cakes

The guy at lenscrafters this past weekend gave me a doozie. My 15 mo DD had accidentally broken my glasses, so I went to pick up a new pair.

While he's getting them all ready for me to put on, he says, "So your 15 mo broke your frames, huh? Do you spank??" I was appalled and said, "No! I don't believe in that." and he shook his head at me and raised his eyebrows and said,"You don't even have to hit that hard, just a swat on the butt is all it'll take. What if she does it again???"

I couldn't believe it. I was so angry. My daughter had no idea she did something "wrong" and honestly it was no big deal -- why on earth would hitting her solve or fix ANY of this??

As politely as I could, I said, "No I don't believe in hitting for any reason, thanks." and took my glasses and left. Ugh.


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## AFWife

Another from this weekend: (same guy actually)

*me changing DS's diaper*
D: Is that...
Me: Cloth diapers, yep.
D: Isnt' that expensive?
DH: Well, only at first but after the initial investment...
D: Oh, you wash them???
Me and DH: *pause and look at each other* yes...

I wanted to say, "Hell no, we're rolling in money and just throw them away after each pee!"


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## RoseDuperre

Time for some Holiday Hijinks in this thread. Nothing MAJOR here but annoying nonetheless. My MIL literally poured SODA into Lily's (20 month old) mouth today. Lily ONLY drinks water, and was _in the process_ of drinking and enjoying some when Grandma came on over and said "Here, try some pop!" I said something about oh, she's just having some water, and MIL literally said (to Lily, not me, of course) "Come on, try it! It's better!"

I don't even want her having juice, for cripe's sake, but I could tolerate some watered-down juice if it's real juice and not 90% HFSC and dye - with permission. Because things are always SO TENSE with her about food, among many other things, and it's caused problems with DP, since I'm always the bad guy saying to to candy, sugar, allergens that we've explained a million times. Seriously, how hard is it to remember that gluten/wheat is a no-no? And how obscure a fact is it that anything made with freakin' FLOUR is therefore made of wheat and therefore is not okay? I could understand if someone didn't know that soy sauce has gluten, or malt, or beer, or something much less obvious, but how many times do I have to say no to BREAD and CAKE and PASTA and flipping TRISCUITS??

Anyway, so when it came to the soda, I literally froze. DP wasn't in the room, but his little brother had the sense to say "Come on, Mom, she doesn't need soda." She replied "It's Sierra Mist. It doesn't have caffeine," (yeah, because that's the only issue) and then tried to give her more! Lily wanted nothing to do with it. Good for her, but why did she have to even have that first gulp???










DP agreed that next time I AM allowed to refuse, or he will if he's there. Because there will be a next time.


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## RoseDuperre

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2xy* 
My BIL (who is DH's brother, and DH is not my kids' dad, so he is no relation to my kids) asked me (randomly and without provocation) *what gives me the right to homeschool my children*...?

Unfortunately, I work with this buffoon. And he is extremely arrogant and judgmental in many ways...this is just one of them, I guess.

I just looked at him and flatly said, "The Constitution."

Bravo.


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## Smokering

Quote:

My BIL (who is DH's brother, and DH is not my kids' dad, so he is no relation to my kids) asked me (randomly and without provocation) what gives me the right to homeschool my children...?

I just looked at him and flatly said, "The Constitution."


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## kriket

This Christmas from the MIL who gave DS caffinated diet soda at thanksgiving.

MIL to DS, "Do you want some fudge?"
me without thinking. (I'm getting better at asserting myself







) "Under no circumstance does that baby want fudge"
MIL "Oh, I know I was joking"

Were you joking woman? DH and I _just_ has a conversation that you weren't allowed to hold DS if you were anywhere near anything you could feed him. He likes to eat cheese and gnaw on teething crackers, why can't you stick to those things!


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## RolliePollie

On the subject of teeth...

When my son sprouted his first two teeth at 4 months, my ex-h's grandma told me that it was not good that my son was teething so early since teeth that come in too early are no good. She also told me that it was bad he didn't cry because his lungs would never properly develop.


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## Unconventional1

Quote:


Originally Posted by *InMediasRes* 
I don't get the big deal about teeth. I've had a lot of comments from people who seem to think it's sad when kids teethe late. My DS got his first at 11mo, and DD just got hers at almost 10mo.

I mean, I guess if I was going to give my 6mo pistachios or something... otherwise, I don't think they're really deprived.

I wish MY kids were late teethers! I have been bitten and scraped by teeth while nursing since both of my LOs were 4 months old- for extended breastfeeders, and CLW types, late teeth are a blessing!


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## frontierpsych

DH's friend told him "Your dad should be the scariest man on the earth." as advice on his relationship with DS. Luckily, my DH wants to have a GOOD relationship with our son.


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## gbailey

We went to my aunts house Christmas afternoon. Her place is not at all toddler friendly and DD was intrigued by the piles and piles of crap in one area and by the fan standing on the side of the table. When DD tried to remove the fan which would have fallen on top of her my aunt says, "why don't you just let her explore? _*That*_ is what kids do after all. Didn't you want to touch everything when you were her age?"

My response, "I don't remember what I was doing at 19 months but I'm sure my mother would have moved me out of harms way if a fan was about to fall on me!"


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## gbailey

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RoseDuperre* 
Time for some Holiday Hijinks in this thread. Nothing MAJOR here but annoying nonetheless. My MIL literally poured SODA into Lily's (20 month old) mouth today. Lily ONLY drinks water, and was _in the process_ of drinking and enjoying some when Grandma came on over and said "Here, try some pop!" I said something about oh, she's just having some water, and MIL literally said (to Lily, not me, of course) "Come on, try it! It's better!"

I don't even want her having juice, for cripe's sake, but I could tolerate some watered-down juice if it's real juice and not 90% HFSC and dye - with permission. Because things are always SO TENSE with her about food, among many other things, and it's caused problems with DP, since I'm always the bad guy saying to to candy, sugar, allergens that we've explained a million times. Seriously, how hard is it to remember that gluten/wheat is a no-no? And how obscure a fact is it that anything made with freakin' FLOUR is therefore made of wheat and therefore is not okay? I could understand if someone didn't know that soy sauce has gluten, or malt, or beer, or something much less obvious, but how many times do I have to say no to BREAD and CAKE and PASTA and flipping TRISCUITS??

Anyway, so when it came to the soda, I literally froze. DP wasn't in the room, but his little brother had the sense to say "Come on, Mom, she doesn't need soda." She replied "It's Sierra Mist. It doesn't have caffeine," (yeah, because that's the only issue) and then tried to give her more! Lily wanted nothing to do with it. Good for her, but why did she have to even have that first gulp???










DP agreed that next time I AM allowed to refuse, or he will if he's there. Because there will be a next time.


I still don't get why people are so perplexed by parents who choose not to give their DC juice and soda. They should be more shocked at the people who do give their kids that stuff at such a young age.

I am impressed your DD drinks water. My daughter still thinks water is for blowing bubbles but I try giving her some everyday. Sometimes she sips and sometimes she blows bubbles.


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## hibiscus mum

It's been a rough time so far with DS since he's such a different baby compared to DD. I don't know if he'd be classified as "high-needs" but he's definitely needier than DD was as a baby. At Christmas dinner, I gave DS some turkey and he was thoroughly enjoying it. My MIL said to him, "You're so much happier now that you're eating REAL FOOD, aren't you?"

I was like, "As opposed to the fake stuff coming out of my breasts?"

I don't think she meant to hurt my feelings, but it did sting a bit. Probably because it's true - he does seem happier these days.


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## InMediasRes

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hibiscus mum* 
It's been a rough time so far with DS since he's such a different baby compared to DD. I don't know if he'd be classified as "high-needs" but he's definitely needier than DD was as a baby. At Christmas dinner, I gave DS some turkey and he was thoroughly enjoying it. My MIL said to him, "You're so much happier now that you're eating REAL FOOD, aren't you?"

I was like, "As opposed to the fake stuff coming out of my breasts?"

I don't think she meant to hurt my feelings, but it did sting a bit. Probably because it's true - he does seem happier these days.









Aw, don't take her comment to heart. He's probably just happier because he's older. He's 9 mo now? That's a common age for babies to start to understand and accept the world that they're living in.

I've gotten that "real food" comment from lots of people too. I think they just mean table food.


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## InMediasRes

On the water topic, my ILs seem to think my DS will explode or something if they're not actively forcing water on him all the time. Yeah, he needs to stay hydrated, but he doesn't need 6 GLASSES OF WATER AN HOUR BEFORE BED TIME! Next time I will have THEM come change the sheets TWICE in the middle of the night.


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## joynsyde

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hibiscus mum* 
It's been a rough time so far with DS since he's such a different baby compared to DD. I don't know if he'd be classified as "high-needs" but he's definitely needier than DD was as a baby. At Christmas dinner, I gave DS some turkey and he was thoroughly enjoying it. My MIL said to him, "You're so much happier now that you're eating REAL FOOD, aren't you?"

I was like, "As opposed to the fake stuff coming out of my breasts?"

I don't think she meant to hurt my feelings, but it did sting a bit. Probably because it's true - he does seem happier these days.









My Grandma makes comments to my 2-year-old, who's still nursing, about him needing to eat "big-boy food." Of course, he eats solids mostly now, and just nurses at nap and bed time, or when he gets hurt. But she was saying "you need big-boy food" before he was even 1. I just try to ignore it. If she or anyone confronts me, I try to stay calm and reasonable, but I am not good with confrontations of any kind. Usually I try to change the subject, or point out the fact that my 2-year-old has only gotten sick twice in his life, both times were very minor colds with a fever that lasted less than a day. Breastmilk really helps the immune system.
I haven't even mentioned to the inlaws that he's not vaccinated; they would completely flip out. It's NOTB!


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## joynsyde

The funniest thing might have been when we were in France visiting in-laws (my hubby is French) in the summer of '08. Our son was just 8 months old at the time, and my inlaws were very impressed by the fact that he was still nursing! They took us around to meet all the friends and extended family, and EVERY time they introduced me to someone new they'd say, "This is 'A...', and she's still nursing her little baby!" That was the first thing these strangers learned about me!!

One time, one of the great-aunts, or someone I can't remember the exact relation, told us the story of her daughter who nursed her baby until he turned 1 year old, and afterward, her breasts "completely disappeared."
I couldn't help laughing, though I tried my hardest not to!
I thought the European medical system was more enlightened than our American system?


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## CorasMama

Last night, in a chat with some of my friends, 3 of them decided to brainstorm "what Kate did wrong to cause her baby's omphalocele". The consensus was that it was either daring to get pregnant after 30 or the medications I used to take but stopped in plenty of time before ttc. Neither have any demonstrated correlation (they've been studied) to this particular defect, but that didn't stop them from jumping on the "blame the mother" bandwagon. I was very proud of my restraint, though a friend suggested I should stop taking the zofran for situations like this (she called it defensive vomiting,







).


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## Jane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CorasMama* 
a friend suggested I should stop taking the zofran for situations like this (she called it defensive vomiting,







).

Absolutely agree!! In their bra, please. While they are wearing it.


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## Smokering

CorasMama: Ach, people! I had a friend insist I'd caused my pre-eclampsia by painting a few rooms in the house before DD was born. The second time she brought it up, I said "Well, the evidence on what causes pre-eclampsia doesn't lean in that direction" and she said "I know, but I'm just gonna keep it as my little theory". Well, thanks. 'Cause blaming me despite the evidence is so much more fun than believing I developed the condition through no fault of my own...?

In your situation I'd be tempted to call those friends at 3AM, tragically declaring your intent of jumping off a building from guilt at having caused your baby's condition. See how fast they trip over themselves then to reassure you it wasn't your fault!







Heck, do it every night for a week. Grrr. Some people...


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## Heidi74

Quote:


Originally Posted by *joynsyde* 
I thought the European medical system was more enlightened than our American system?

When it comes to breastfeeding, this varies greatly depending on where in Europe you are. Scandinavia, for example, is very breastfeeding-friendly, while my impression is that France is not. (At least based on what friends who have lived there have told me.)


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## Unconventional1

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hibiscus mum* 
It's been a rough time so far with DS since he's such a different baby compared to DD. I don't know if he'd be classified as "high-needs" but he's definitely needier than DD was as a baby. At Christmas dinner, I gave DS some turkey and he was thoroughly enjoying it. My MIL said to him, "You're so much happier now that you're eating REAL FOOD, aren't you?"

I was like, "As opposed to the fake stuff coming out of my breasts?"

I don't think she meant to hurt my feelings, but it did sting a bit. Probably because it's true - he does seem happier these days.









My 10.5 month old loves to eat solids. I think that they just enjoy the new texture/flavor/sensory experience of the food. But you know who they always come to when they need a drink and comfort







. Does he possibly have any mild food issues (food you eat) that may cause him to get a bit of an upset tummy after nursing? My LO isn't all that happy if I eat tomatoes, onion, banana, or citrus. And she is miserable if I eat any cow or sheep dairy.


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## kriket

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CorasMama* 
Last night, in a chat with some of my friends, 3 of them decided to brainstorm "what Kate did wrong to cause her baby's omphalocele".

paaleeese.....

What a crock. I know you know that you didn't cause that. But I wanted to say it







My DS was born with a hernia (not even the same class I know but work with me, it's a story) come to find out if it was anyone's "fault" it was his father's as they had matching hernias for a while!







(DS's has since closed) My dad asked me what *I* had done while I was PG. I told him after I was done eating paint chips and skydiving I rolled around in used hypodermic needles.







(or something like that it was a long time ago)


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## kalirush

Quote:


Originally Posted by *joynsyde* 
One time, one of the great-aunts, or someone I can't remember the exact relation, told us the story of her daughter who nursed her baby until he turned 1 year old, and afterward, her breasts "completely disappeared."
I couldn't help laughing, though I tried my hardest not to!
I thought the European medical system was more enlightened than our American system?

I know someone that that happened to... she didn't nurse for a year, though- maybe 8 months? She had not so much boobs before, and seriously practically no boobs after- like, did NOT need to wear a bra, ever. I dropped a cup size from my pre-baby size after I weaned my first. They plumped back up, though, eventually. Then I got pregnant again, and we're back on the rollercoaster.


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## 2xy

I was small-busted to begin with, but I definitely got smaller after having children. I used to joke that it was why I stopped at two kids....so my chest wouldn't become concave.


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## Heidi74

I think my first DS was about 7 1/2 months old and two months into BLW/Baby Led Solids, when my sister (no kids) asked me when we were going to start him on baby food. (DS had just tucked into what we were having for dinner, and was eating quite a lot of it, as I recall.) I told her that we weren't planning to use baby food and that table foods were working out just fine, upon which she replied: "But the jars are so CUTE! I want to feed him."

Ummm...not a good enough reason to start the baby food, especially after he had been eating table foods for two months.







I guess it's similar to people wanting to give the baby a bottle when the mother is breastfeeding.


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## Cherry Alive

"Babies cry because they don't know what is good yet," from my mom when she was showing me how to bath my poor 1 month old DD (who was freaking out hysterically from being harshly scrubbed). I am *very* careful if/when I ask my mother for advice anymore.


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## AFWife

Not stupid...more funny.

DS was crying (hungry, tired, the usual) and I was strapping him into the Ergo and a friend says, "Are you suffocating that baby?!?" DH was quick and replied, "Yep, deprive him of a little oxygen and he goes right to sleep."


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## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Heidi74* 
"But the jars are so CUTE! I want to feed him."

For awhile in high school it was a fad to use baby food for snacks. You'd keep several in your locker for a mid-afternoon nosh between classes. Got started by a gal who was used to taking tea in the afternoon.


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## minkajane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2xy* 
I was small-busted to begin with, but I definitely got smaller after having children. I used to joke that it was why I stopped at two kids....so my chest wouldn't become concave.









Am I the only one who got bigger after nursing? I was an A pre-DS, I had lovely C-cups when I was nursing (screw nutrition, I nursed for two years for the BOOBS!







), and now I have good solid B's. Maybe it was because I was kinda young (21) when I had DS? I'm looking forward to seeing what happens after the next kid - I'd love to have C's!


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## Purple*Lotus

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AFWife* 
Not stupid...more funny.

DS was crying (hungry, tired, the usual) and I was strapping him into the Ergo and a friend says, "Are you suffocating that baby?!?" DH was quick and replied, "Yep, deprive him of a little oxygen and he goes right to sleep."

I just burst out laughing, thank your DH for that


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## WC_hapamama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
Am I the only one who got bigger after nursing? I was an A pre-DS, I had lovely C-cups when I was nursing (screw nutrition, I nursed for two years for the BOOBS!







), and now I have good solid B's. Maybe it was because I was kinda young (21) when I had DS? I'm looking forward to seeing what happens after the next kid - I'd love to have C's!

I went from C cups pre kids, to DDD cups after baby#4 weaned. Currently nursing baby#5.


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## brownskinchinee

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gbailey* 
*I still don't get why people are so perplexed by parents who choose not to give their DC juice and soda. They should be more shocked at the people who do give their kids that stuff at such a young age.*

I am impressed your DD drinks water. My daughter still thinks water is for blowing bubbles but I try giving her some everyday. Sometimes she sips and sometimes she blows bubbles.

What's wrong with juice?
I started giving my dd juice when she was abt 8 or 9 months. Her fave was apple/carrot with a bit of celery, I have a juicer and we mainly make our own juice except for orange which we buy fresh squeezed from the farmers market.


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## RunningMomTegan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *brownskinchinee* 
What's wrong with juice?
I started giving my dd juice when she was abt 8 or 9 months. Her fave was apple/carrot with a bit of celery, I have a juicer and we mainly make our own juice except for orange which we buy fresh squeezed from the farmers market.

That's not what most kids get







Apple juice, pasturized and sugared up, is the norm. It's the thing I hate the MOST about DS being in daycare.


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## minkajane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RunningMomTegan* 
That's not what most kids get







Apple juice, pasturized and sugared up, is the norm. It's the thing I hate the MOST about DS being in daycare.

We had the same problem at DS's daycare, plus they gave them lots of cow milk and I don't like DS to have it unless I know it doesn't have BGH and antibiotics. So I just brought it soy milk for him and requested that he have plain water with just a splash of juice. They were great about it. Most daycares will be good about stuff like that.


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## sapphire_chan

And all juices (and most soups, sadly) have the problem of not requiring chewing so the digestive process isn't properly started before swallowing.Which is why juices should supplement eating solid foods rather than replace them.


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## wbg

When Ds2 was around 12mths we were returning to the US and got pulled in for random security screening. So now we are waiting around and my 3 kids under 3 and a half are running around after being cooped up for so long! So after a while I pull out the boob to give my 1 yr old a drink. This security person, gets up and comes out from her office to ask me if I think my child is too old to be breastfeeding, since minutes ago he was "running" around with his siblings! Without missing a beat, I politely said that since there was no soda vending machine, that this was all I had. And her response was to nod her head, and offer to get him a soda???????!!!!!!!!!! Seriously....until that point it had not occured to me that anyone would offer a baby or toddler soda and he was my 3rd kid! Needless to say, she bumped me to the front of the line and threw me and my bad ass boobs out of her security screening area pronto!


----------



## bluedaisy

I love these threads!

I was visiting some friends over Christmas break and they asked me if I had had to spank my (13 month old!!) dd yet









I said no and they said they started spanking their kids at 10 months for "defiance" like sticking their fingers in outlets. My dd does that too, she thinks it's a great game. that's why we have outlet covers. I'm pretty sure she can't understand enough to be deliberately defiant at 10 months.

Then I was visiting someone else at the end of a weeklong trip and my dd hadn't slept well the night before and was just whiny and cranky (she is usually very good mannered and rarely fusses/cries). Since I knew she was so tired, I kept trying to think of other things I could give her to keep her attention.

The lady I was visiting just kept saying, "just let her cry, she'll be fine. don't worry, it doesn't bother me." as though I was only concerned that my dd's crying was affecting HER and not concerned about my dd


----------



## fyrwmn

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kriket* 
paaleeese.....

What a crock. I know you know that you didn't cause that. But I wanted to say it







My DS was born with a hernia (not even the same class I know but work with me, it's a story) come to find out if it was anyone's "fault" it was his father's as they had matching hernias for a while!







(DS's has since closed) My dad asked me what *I* had done while I was PG. I told him after I was done eating paint chips and skydiving I rolled around in used hypodermic needles.







(or something like that it was a long time ago)

one of the charming dr's we saw while trying to have baby #2 (and going thru all our losses) actually told me after the 3rd miscarriage that it was my fault because i was still nursing my then 2 yr old. i couldn't believe that because they didn't know what caused it she woul dstoop to blaming me. we RAN from that practice after that!!!


----------



## 2xy

With regard to juice....

Yes, it's full of nutrients, but it's still liquid sugar. It's just as difficult on your system as soda....worse in some ways.

Read the section here regarding sugar and sweeteners. Quite interesting.


----------



## anne1140

Quote:

A. Diet sodas don't have calories, although some sweeteners can still generate a small insulin response. So, on balance, diet sodas are better than sugared ones, if you like percolating chemicals through your bloodstream. Sweetened coffees or teas are no better than soda, as they still generate an insulin response, and they are sweetened with sucrose (which is half fructose, which is bad for your liver). My question to you is, why do you need sweet drinks at all? What's wrong with water? The human race had no sweet drinks until 1915, when Coca-Cola went national. Until then, we had water and milk, and we did just fine, thank you. Juice was invented in the 1950s. We didn't have obesity in the first half of the 20th century. But we have seen both soft drinks and juice sales rise astronomically, at the same time the obesity epidemic started to build. There is some suggestion that the earlier you expose an infant to "sweet", the more likely they will crave it later. We need to get America off its "sweet habit". Water has everything you need, and nothing you don't. And it's cheap.
He could have saved all that and just said, "I'm enlightened and you're stupid." Seriously, it sounds very condescending. (Orange juice was invented in 1919 and cranberry juice in *1683*, so I'm not sure that I find him very credible.) Heck, Jesus was drinking wine back in the day, and that is just fermented grapes, a sweet drink. Fact is, no one knows exactly what caused the obesity epidemic. There are a lot of theories out there.

I have a very hard time believing that 100% fruit juice is just as bad as soda. By his argument, we probably shouldn't be eating fruit at all, if fructose is that terrible for us.

Of course, if I were to drink huge glasses of juice every day, that would probably not be good for me. But I don't believe that 100% fruit juice, in moderation, is bad, and in fact, I do believe it's healthy.








sorry!


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *anne1140* 
He could have saved all that and just said, "I'm enlightened and you're stupid." Seriously, it sounds very condescending. (Orange juice was invented in 1919 and cranberry juice in *1683*, so I'm not sure that I find him very credible.) Heck, Jesus was drinking wine back in the day, and that is just fermented grapes, a sweet drink. Fact is, no one knows exactly what caused the obesity epidemic. There are a lot of theories out there.









that it's







, I want to play.

Cranberry juice--not sweet to the same level. Ditto wine. Plus, fermentation has been shown for whatever reason to make grains and legumes easier to digest, so maybe it also helps with sugar?

Before you could just buy a bottle in the store, how many people were going to go to the effort of squeezing juice instead of just eating the fruit?

Also, in a glass of orange juice, which is easy to drink, you've got all the sugars of like 4-5 oranges. Whereas in one orange, which is quite filling, you only have the sugar of one orange plus the fiber and such. A juicer that blended the whole fruit could help with that, but chewing triggers a fullness feeling so you eat less of a fruit than you'd drink even if you're drinking the whole fruit.








look at the obese people of the past, rich people who didn't play sports. The obesity epidemic is because we're blessed with abundant cheap food and modern conveniences.

And I do totally agree with your first line.


----------



## RomanGoddess

Quote:


Originally Posted by *joynsyde* 
The funniest thing might have been when we were in France visiting in-laws (my hubby is French) in the summer of '08. Our son was just 8 months old at the time, and my inlaws were very impressed by the fact that he was still nursing! They took us around to meet all the friends and extended family, and EVERY time they introduced me to someone new they'd say, "This is 'A...', and she's still nursing her little baby!" That was the first thing these strangers learned about me!!

One time, one of the great-aunts, or someone I can't remember the exact relation, told us the story of her daughter who nursed her baby until he turned 1 year old, and afterward, her breasts "completely disappeared."
I couldn't help laughing, though I tried my hardest not to!
I thought the European medical system was more enlightened than our American system?

Maybe in Sweden or Denmark. Not France! About 60 percent of French women breastfeed their newborns. Only about 10 percent are still breastfeeding when the baby is 6 weeks old. And if you are still breastfeeding at 6 months, well, you are really marginal!


----------



## Pavlovs

Yesterday while hiking with my 5 year old, wearing my almost 6 month old on my back in my wrap, my boy fell and was crying - happened near a sweet family with several kids. When my husband was holding him, wiping away his tears, the mom offered a Capri Sun, I suppose to make him feel better. Never mind not asking us, the parents, first if it's ok. Nevermind the weird habit of offering food/drink to feel better after a scrape (how is that supposed to trump the hugs and kisses?) Nevermind that my son has diabetes so straight sugar drinks are a nightmare. But then they offer to feed one to my baby. Seriously - give a fake juice drink to an infant!


----------



## SleeplessMommy

From an in-law relative in an Asian country:
"We think kids should start out plump, so they will grow really tall."

Making kids plump has not been hlepful in that family, there is a history of type 2 diabetes.


----------



## frontierpsych

This is not really a stupid comment, but it was kind of a head scratcher.

When my mom was visiting us when DS was about 5 months old, she said "I'm surprised, you guys are really good about changing him as soon as you realize he's wet!"

Um, thanks for your confidence in my parenting abilities?


----------



## curiouscanadian

I got one the other day from my _mom_ of all people (not someone I would generally expect this comment from)...

"Well, you trained him to wake up at night to eat (nurse) so you'll have to deal with that."








Since when is responding to your baby "training" them to wake up?


----------



## 2xy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *anne1140* 
Orange juice was invented in 1919 and cranberry juice in *1683*, so I'm not sure that I find him very credible.

I don't have time to research cranberry juice, but I don't think the pilgrims had access to bags upon bags of sugar with which to sweeten their juice. *Real*, pure cranberry juice is _extremely_ tart and not sweet.....I can't imagine drinking more than a couple of ounces of it, which is probably what the pilgrims did, and was most likely for medicinal purposes.

It's not like they were guzzling glasses full of Ocean Spray, IYKWIM. What most people nowadays think of as cranberry "juice" is usually water and corn syrup with a token amount of cranberry flavoring.


----------



## Kidzaplenty

Actually, I love cranberry *juice*, and it is 100% juice (which is not the same as *juice cocktail* - that is the one with 15% juice).


----------



## minkajane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Pavlovs* 
Yesterday while hiking with my 5 year old, wearing my almost 6 month old on my back in my wrap, my boy fell and was crying - happened near a sweet family with several kids. When my husband was holding him, wiping away his tears, the mom offered a Capri Sun, I suppose to make him feel better. Never mind not asking us, the parents, first if it's ok. Nevermind the weird habit of offering food/drink to feel better after a scrape (how is that supposed to trump the hugs and kisses?) Nevermind that my son has diabetes so straight sugar drinks are a nightmare. But then they offer to feed one to my baby. Seriously - give a fake juice drink to an infant!

Something similar happened to me the other day. I was picking up DS's birthday cake at Walmart and out of nowhere the girl asked him if he wanted a cookie. I let him have it because he was already cranky and would have had a meltdown if I had said no, but I glared at the girl and said, "It's probably not a good idea to offer a kid a cookie without asking the parents first." She just kind of shrugged and said sorry. It was a peanut butter cookie too - how does she know he's not allergic to peanuts or diabetic or has Crohn's disease or anything?


----------



## Sk8ermaiden

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kidzaplenty* 
Actually, I love cranberry *juice*, and it is 100% juice (which is not the same as *juice cocktail* - that is the one with 15% juice).

Ditto that. Loooove 100% Cranberry Juice.


----------



## Headmeister

We did BLW (transition to solids/table foods) with my daughter starting around 6-7 months old. She *LOVED* broccoli and I took a video of her eating it. When my mother saw it, she called me and told me "I'll be saying a prayer that she doesn't choke to death... I really hope you know CPR because you're definitely going to need it". We got ridiculous and nasty comments from other people too, to the point where we actually would stop feeding her solids in front of others and I'd just nurse her if we were anywhere.

And just a general comment to all of you who have had to deal with in-laws, family, friends, strangers comments, ext: From what I've read, you are all SOOOOO much nicer than I am!!! I don't care WHO that person is to me, I would give them a piece of my mind!!! My FIL recently told me (when I was getting up to chase after my toddler in another room in a non-baby proofed house), "Heather, sit down. You don't need to be chasing after her" I said "yes, I do" and continued to get up. He then said in a much nastier tone, "Um, no, you don't need to do anything, she'll be just fine..." and shook his head like I was an over protective mother. I got up & looked at him, and said "That is MY child and I will parent whatever way I want to, wherever I am, no matter what anyone has to say or think about it, got it?" and walked to go get her. She's 16 months old and he had ZERO to do with raising his own kids, so he has no clue about anything child related... I don't wait for my DH to talk to his parents, I say whatever is needed at the time it's needed. Too bad - my kid + your big mouth = me saying something to you about it, the way I want to say it. You don't like it? Too bad... lol.


----------



## AnnieNimIty

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
Something similar happened to me the other day. I was picking up DS's birthday cake at Walmart and out of nowhere the girl asked him if he wanted a cookie. I let him have it because he was already cranky and would have had a meltdown if I had said no, but I glared at the girl and said, "It's probably not a good idea to offer a kid a cookie without asking the parents first." She just kind of shrugged and said sorry. It was a peanut butter cookie too - how does she know he's not allergic to peanuts or diabetic or has Crohn's disease or anything?

It must be a pandemic. I was at church and my DD (20mo) was down the hall, in my line of sight, but she loves the long halls at church so I let her roam as long as I can see her.

There is a family who loves her for some reason like bizarrely, (dad, mom, 7yo DD). For example they offered to watch her overnight when she was under 6months old so that I could night wean her. I didn't/don't socialize with them outside of church and have never seen (been invited to) their house.

Anyway, sorry for the sidebar. Establishing the creep factor for me.

They were at the other end of the hall talking to her and chatting and the 7yo is offering my DD something that I can't make out. As I am walking down to see what is going on my DD takes it and the mom asks if it is ok for her to have it. I ask what it is. A marshmallow dipped in caramel dipped in rice crispies My kid has melt downs whenever she has sugar (lesson learned at IL's over holidays) and I told the mom that. Then she goes, oh, I probably should have asked hehe. GRRRR. DUH.
We have kids with lots of different allergies at church and ITA people should ask before they feed your kids.

I told her daughter that it was very nice that she wanted to share and emphasized to the mom that we don't do sugar.

I know they are good people. And I try to remember that when I want to smack them upside the head.
Oh, cranky pregnancy hormones. The irony, now I am all grumpy because I don't have ice cream.


----------



## Bellabaz

Quote:


Originally Posted by *joynsyde* 
The funniest thing might have been when we were in France visiting in-laws (my hubby is French) in the summer of '08. Our son was just 8 months old at the time, and my inlaws were very impressed by the fact that he was still nursing! They took us around to meet all the friends and extended family, and EVERY time they introduced me to someone new they'd say, "This is 'A...', and she's still nursing her little baby!" That was the first thing these strangers learned about me!!

One time, one of the great-aunts, or someone I can't remember the exact relation, told us the story of her daughter who nursed her baby until he turned 1 year old, and afterward, her breasts "completely disappeared."
I couldn't help laughing, though I tried my hardest not to!
I thought the European medical system was more enlightened than our American system?

I thought so too. I live in France and doctors are very surprised to find out your 5 month old is surviving on "just the breast". 8 months is also a very long time to "have milk" here. Not all of Europe is like this but France is definitely interesting.

My doc (who is a homeopath and very supportive of breastfeeding and delayed/no vaxing) told me the other day that my 4 month old was taking advantage of me. I went there for thrush treatment for both of us. He asked how many times a day she eats. I have no idea, I nurse on demand but I ventured a guess and said 10 (which I have no idea how accurate that is). He told me to talk with my baby and tell her she will need to calm down a wait because I have sore breasts and 10 times a day is too much for a 4 month old. I just nod and smile. The kid is teething, has thrush and hasn't gained wait for 3 weeks (due to thrush). No way am I not going to offer the boob. I did find it interesting that at 4 months they have the logic to "take advantage of someone" though.


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Bellabaz* 
My doc (who is a homeopath and very supportive of breastfeeding and delayed/no vaxing) told me the other day that my 4 month old was taking advantage of me. I went there for thrush treatment for both of us. He asked how many times a day she eats. I have no idea, I nurse on demand but I ventured a guess and said 10 (which I have no idea how accurate that is). He told me to talk with my baby and tell her she will need to calm down a wait because I have sore breasts and 10 times a day is too much for a 4 month old. I just nod and smile. The kid is teething, has thrush and hasn't gained wait for 3 weeks (due to thrush). No way am I not going to offer the boob. I did find it interesting that at 4 months they have the logic to "take advantage of someone" though.









I've love to know what magic he uses to reason with infants. I need to have a talk with my son about STTN, getting into things, not napping, etc..


----------



## boringscreenname

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
Something similar happened to me the other day. I was picking up DS's birthday cake at Walmart and out of nowhere the girl asked him if he wanted a cookie. I let him have it because he was already cranky and would have had a meltdown if I had said no, but I glared at the girl and said, "It's probably not a good idea to offer a kid a cookie without asking the parents first." She just kind of shrugged and said sorry. It was a peanut butter cookie too - how does she know he's not allergic to peanuts or diabetic or has Crohn's disease or anything?

There's one worker at the Starbucks we go to inside the grocery store, who always offers DS a little cup full of whipped cream, every time we're there.

No I'm not going to feed my 16 month old that much sugar, then make him sit in the cart and endure a grocery shopping trip.

That sounds like a recipe for disaster, and I am NOT a glutton for punishment.


----------



## itsmyturn

My 3yo son has a major temper. The littlest thing will set him off. We have been working on proper outlets for him to express his anger for the last year.

Ne ways over Christmas break when I told my son it was time to go. He sat down crossed his arms, growled, and said that he was mad because he did not want to go.
I was happy He expressed his anger without throwing, stomping, or yelling.

My hubands grandmother stated that is sounded like my son needed a few more spankings.
How exaclty is spanking a kid who needs to learn anger management and impulse control, going to benifit from being spanked? Is it magically going to make him feel less mad if I spank him?


----------



## PatienceAndLove

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AFWife* 
Not stupid...more funny.

DS was crying (hungry, tired, the usual) and I was strapping him into the Ergo and a friend says, "Are you suffocating that baby?!?" DH was quick and replied, "Yep, deprive him of a little oxygen and he goes right to sleep."

I fell out of my chair laughing!


----------



## azmomtoone

Quote:


Originally Posted by *boringscreenname* 
There's one worker at the Starbucks we go to inside the grocery store, who always offers DS a little cup full of whipped cream, every time we're there.

No I'm not going to feed my 16 month old that much sugar, then make him sit in the cart and endure a grocery shopping trip.

That sounds like a recipe for disaster, and I am NOT a glutton for punishment.

Is that a default Starbucks policy??
I had a worker offer DS the same thing, when he was 6 MONTHS OLD!! And she just acted like I was a horrible person because I said no!!


----------



## PatienceAndLove

Quote:


Originally Posted by *azmomtoone* 
Is that a default Starbucks policy??
I had a worker offer DS the same thing, when he was 6 MONTHS OLD!! And she just acted like I was a horrible person because I said no!!

No- it's not.
But we do have ppl ask for whipped cream for their dogs...?


----------



## butterfly_mommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PatienceAndLove* 
No- it's not.
But we do have ppl ask for whipped cream for their dogs...?

Really? That is crazy! No one at our Starbucks has ever offered any child I have been with anything.

Once when we were at the grocery store and DS (who was about 16 mons or so) was in the stroller he wanted to go and I was just finishing up paying. He was having a bit of a melt down so the cashier gives him (without asking me) a chocolate ball







Luckily it was wrapped in a coloured wrapper and he didn't know what chocolate was so he just said "ball" and threw it


----------



## luckysgirl

DH and I took DS to see a show recently. After it was over we walked around for a little while, DS singing the songs to himself the entire time. After a quick trip to the park, we stopped by a little cafe to ostensibly get something to drink for the walk home, but really just to help make it _his_ day a little bit more.

While we were waiting for our smoothies DS was singing yet another of the songs and chattering away about his favorite parts of the show, when a well-dressed woman in her mid-thirties walks up to us and says "You know, little boy, if you don't don't find other things to be interested in you're going to grow up to be very lonely."

I'm not a confrontational person, but it took all I had not to say, "It sounds like loneliness is something you know a lot about."


----------



## Storm Bride

Quote:


Originally Posted by *InMediasRes* 
I don't get the big deal about teeth. I've had a lot of comments from people who seem to think it's sad when kids teethe late. My DS got his first at 11mo, and DD just got hers at almost 10mo.

I mean, I guess if I was going to give my 6mo pistachios or something... otherwise, I don't think they're really deprived.

I'm late reading this thread, so I only just read this.

I don't get the big deal about teeth, either. Honestly, dd2 is my last, and she got her first tooth a day after she turned 6 months old. I was kind of sad - not really, really sad, but a little bit - because she's growing up so quickly. I love her goofy little baby grin, and it's just not the same once they're teeth start to show. However, she's the Happiest Baby in the Universe (so much happier than any of my others!), and I'm sure her smile will be adorable, anyway...I just miss the toothlessness.


----------



## Storm Bride

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AFWife* 
Another from this weekend: (same guy actually)

*me changing DS's diaper*
D: Is that...
Me: Cloth diapers, yep.
D: Isnt' that expensive?
DH: Well, only at first but after the initial investment...
D: Oh, you wash them???
Me and DH: *pause and look at each other* yes...

I wanted to say, "Hell no, we're rolling in money and just throw them away after each pee!"
































Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I'm going to remember this post whenever I feel down, tired or whatever. Holy crap!


----------



## Storm Bride

Quote:


Originally Posted by *joynsyde* 
One time, one of the great-aunts, or someone I can't remember the exact relation, told us the story of her daughter who nursed her baby until he turned 1 year old, and afterward, her breasts "completely disappeared."
I couldn't help laughing, though I tried my hardest not to!

It may have happened. I've known a couple of women who pretty much completely lost their breasts after pregnancy/breastfeeding. (I've also known a couple who went up a cup size, though.) I don't think it has anything to do with how long the baby breastfeeds, though.


----------



## Storm Bride

Quote:


Originally Posted by *fyrwmn* 
one of the charming dr's we saw while trying to have baby #2 (and going thru all our losses) actually told me after the 3rd miscarriage that it was my fault because i was still nursing my then 2 yr old. i couldn't believe that because they didn't know what caused it she woul dstoop to blaming me. we RAN from that practice after that!!!

GRRR...I've had 3 miscarriages and I wasn't nursing. I've also nursed through the better part of two pregnancies. One of those did end in a stillbirth, but as that was after I weaned ds2 (yes - I weaned him - it hurt like *** to nurse that last couple of months, and I just couldn't do it, anymore), _and_ after a long labour, I really don't think breastfeeding had anything to do with it, yk?

I had medical checkups and stuff. I had people suggest my diet (too many carrots!), my activity level (walked about 4-5 hours a week, plus aerobics, plus yoga, plus weights...to sedentary, obviously), and everything else under the sun. The one thing that was never suggested as contributory was my revious c-section. Funny how they're ready to blame _me_, but not themselves.

Someimtes, s**t happens. People need to get over their need to blame someone for everything.


----------



## heidirk

Quote:


Originally Posted by *itsmyturn* 
My 3yo son has a major temper. The littlest thing will set him off. We have been working on proper outlets for him to express his anger for the last year.

Ne ways over Christmas break when I told my son it was time to go. He sat down crossed his arms, growled, and said that he was mad because he did not want to go.
I was happy He expressed his anger without throwing, stomping, or yelling.

My hubands grandmother stated that is sounded like my son needed a few more spankings.
How exaclty is spanking a kid who needs to learn anger management and impulse control, going to benifit from being spanked? Is it magically going to make him feel less mad if I spank him?

It won't. You had a right to be proud of your son!


----------



## twead

I had had a miscarriage over the weekend and the birth center wanted me to come in that next morning. I had called the insurance on my way to the apt to make sure I didn't need a preauthorization or something. They said I didn't. So, when the bill came and they refused to pay I called. The lady on the phone told me I should have called in advance and schedule my appointment better. WTF? I politely told her the next time I was gonna have a miscarriage I would definitely call the insurance carrier to make sure it was convenient for them!


----------



## AspieMom

I was at a friend's baby shower the other day, the auntie-to-be came up and wanted to hold my son (9mo) and was telling me that she needs to learn about babies, that she doesn't know anything. At one point I we were talking and she asked "So, does he eat?"


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *twead* 
I had had a miscarriage over the weekend and the birth center wanted me to come in that next morning. I had called the insurance on my way to the apt to make sure I didn't need a preauthorization or something. They said I didn't. So, when the bill came and they refused to pay I called. The lady on the phone told me I should have called in advance and schedule my appointment better. WTF? I politely told her the next time I was gonna have a miscarriage I would definitely call the insurance carrier to make sure it was convenient for them!

WTF? You did call in advance.


----------



## Cherry Alive

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AFWife* 
He also told me that if I fed him solids he'd get teeth sooner (we're 8 months with no teeth)











Tell that to my DD. She got her first teeth at 2.5 months. When we started her on solids at 6 months (which she LOVED), she already had 8. Despite eating dinner with us every night, she didn't break any new teeth for 4 more months.


----------



## lrgs

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hibiscus mum* 
It's been a rough time so far with DS since he's such a different baby compared to DD. I don't know if he'd be classified as "high-needs" but he's definitely needier than DD was as a baby. At Christmas dinner, I gave DS some turkey and he was thoroughly enjoying it. My MIL said to him, "You're so much happier now that you're eating REAL FOOD, aren't you?"

I was like, "As opposed to the fake stuff coming out of my breasts?"

I don't think she meant to hurt my feelings, but it did sting a bit. Probably because it's true - he does seem happier these days.









I had a simillar issue with my family. Our first 2 months with DD were rough, she screamed pretty much non-stop and it was so stressful. My family used to say she was hungry...........she went form 9 pounds to 14 pounds in 2 months so I know she was getting a enough milk. Anyway, somewhere around 2 months something happened and she became much more content. Then again around 5 months she became constantly fussy, stopped STTN (we just thought sleep regression)....around 6 months we figured out I had a supply issue and she wasn't getting enough...she hadn't gained any weight in 2 months. Once we got that sorted out she went right back to being a happy baby. To this day my family says "Everything was fine with DD once you actually started feeding her".............implying I'd basically been starving my daughter for 6 months...when I know she was perfectly fine for the first 5 months (actually quite chunky). It still bugs me to this day!!!

On the OT.............I really don't agree that 100% fruit juice (without added sugar or sweetner) is the same or worse then pop. There is a huge difference between 100% fruit juice and flavored sugar water. We're mostly water drinkers but the odd glass of juice is not going to hurt us. Even Dr. Sears says there's nothing wrong with 100% fruit juice as a treat.


----------



## lrgs

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CorasMama* 
Last night, in a chat with some of my friends, 3 of them decided to brainstorm "what Kate did wrong to cause her baby's omphalocele". The consensus was that it was either daring to get pregnant after 30 or the medications I used to take but stopped in plenty of time before ttc. Neither have any demonstrated correlation (they've been studied) to this particular defect, but that didn't stop them from jumping on the "blame the mother" bandwagon. I was very proud of my restraint, though a friend suggested I should stop taking the zofran for situations like this (she called it defensive vomiting,







).

That's horrible...........I can't believe they said that.


----------



## smeisnotapirate

When I was miscarrying and in the ER for bleeding, the OB was grilling me about all these things - what are you eating, how active are you, when was your last pregnancy, etc. Here was her list of things I *should* have done to PREVENT my miscarriage:

1. You need to stop running around after that toddler. Aren't you aware that there's something wrong?
2. Stop eating kefir (after I explained what it was). It's obviously poisoning you.
3. Stop nursing your 12mo. It makes your uterus contract, and it's probably what's causing you to miscarry.

When I told her the vitamins I was taking (Rainbow Light prenatal, B-complex, vit D), she gave this dismissive wave and said "Just go to CVS and pick up a normal prenatal with iron. Anything else could be hurting this baby."

I remember laughing hysterically when I got home. I needed the comic relief at that point in my life. But thinking back, I'm thinking - wow. What if I didn't know better??


----------



## nudhistbudhist

smeisnotapirate-wow! brutal. Good thing you know better. I'm sorry for your loss.
















I gave birth two weeks ago so i have hormone brain, bear with me 

Someone posted on MDC that so-and-so was looking to do an interview with a lotus-birther. I contacted the person and did the interview last week. It was a guy doing the interview, which I thought was pretty brave (he didnt really know what he was getting himself into interviewing ME of all people lol). The lady that was putting it all together hired him to shoot it. Anyways... I will share some of interview, not word for word, but pretty darn close:

Him:They want me to shoot some footage of you watching your birth video. Is that ok?

Me: Yup. Let me put it on my computer. (I put it on.)

Him: (Videoing me watching it.)

Me:This parts awesome... Her head is all the way out, and I thought her body would just slide out on the next push, but she was pretty big and she was pretty stuck. The midwife had to give her a good tug while I was pushing.

Him:














Umm... do you have any footage thats not adult-oriented?

Me:














No way, man. It's birth!

Him: OK, we'll just film it and they can edit what they want.

scratch







What did he think a "birth video" looked like?

Oh, and the other time he almost fainted...

Him: Was there anything in particular that you had to consider before making your decision about Lotus birth?

Me: The major thing for me was that I was weighing the benefits of a peaceful gentle birth for my baby verses the postpartum benefits for me from eating her placenta. Lucky for me, I had DS's placenta in the freezer from his birth, so I could have my lotus birth and eat it too.









Him:


----------



## claddaghmom

The nursing during pregnancy comments are starting to trickle in...

"You can't nurse during pregnancy; your body will choose one or the other!"

"If you continue to nurse, the kids will have rivalry between them!"

"Your body can't be making milk anymore" (Me: yes, I can see and hear her drinking) "Well then it's just watery stuff now"

In regards to her seeing a stranger and running towards me: "You just need to leave her w/ a babysitter for a few days so she figures it out" (what is IT??)


----------



## boringscreenname

This wasn't really a stupid comment or anything but a sort of strange encounter. A couple weeks ago, DP, DS and I were checking out in a store. There was an employee on break behind us, it looked like she was getting ready to pay for a meal.

Anyway she tells DP, that she was looking for a sucker to buy for DS, but couldn't find any. DP said, "Thanks for offering, but that's ok, he's still too young for suckers." So she offered to give him the York Peppermint Patty, she was going to buy for herself. DP told her "Thanks, but no thanks, we don't want him to have so much chocolate and sugar since it's getting close to bed time." I don't think DS would have liked a York Peppermint Patty anyway, since they have a rather strong taste to them.

Anyway that was our first experience with a random stranger offering our child candy.


----------



## Comtessa

We had a bank teller offer DD a lollipop when she was 5 months old. I didn't say anything - I figured I'd just eat it on the way home - but DH, trying to be polite, unwrapped it right there and offered DD a taste!










Then later he had the nerve to ask if I recorded "DD's first food" in her baby book!!!


----------



## minkajane

A young woman came into my maternity store today to buy a nursing bra. I got to talking to her and asked if she had gone to any breastfeeding classes. She said, "No, my family said not to because my mom nursed her kids for a few months each, so she'd be all I need!"

I kept talking with her and she was CLUELESS about BFing. Thankfully, I was able to answer some questions she had and give her some good advice to get started.

This sort of thing happens on a regular basis. The other day I had a girl come in for a nursing shirt in case her baby wouldn't take a bottle around her family when they met her. I ended up talking with her for a good half hour, explaining nipple confusion (and demonstrating with a pop bottle







) and the supply and demand of BFing, as well as getting her thinking about why people hide to feed their babies one way but not another. She did end up picking up a nursing shirt and bra and left with no plans for bottles!


----------



## bezark

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
A young woman came into my maternity store today to buy a nursing bra. I got to talking to her and asked if she had gone to any breastfeeding classes. She said, "No, my family said not to because my mom nursed her kids for a few months each, so she'd be all I need!"

I kept talking with her and she was CLUELESS about BFing. Thankfully, I was able to answer some questions she had and give her some good advice to get started.

This sort of thing happens on a regular basis. The other day I had a girl come in for a nursing shirt in case her baby wouldn't take a bottle around her family when they met her. I ended up talking with her for a good half hour, explaining nipple confusion (and demonstrating with a pop bottle







) and the supply and demand of BFing, as well as getting her thinking about why people hide to feed their babies one way but not another. She did end up picking up a nursing shirt and bra and left with no plans for bottles!









That's awesome! I wish someone would have knocked some sense into me like that.








We're still going strong with no end in sight at 10 months, but I really did very little research on BFing before DS arrived. I assumed that something so natural would come naturally to us.








Fortunately, I had access to a great LC.


----------



## 4myfinn

When our son had colic, our neighbor advised us to give him a little 7-UP mixed with water in a bottle to help ease his tummy! He said that's what they did with their three children and it seemed to help them. I just stared at him and said, "You want me to give my newborn baby soda pop?!" Amazing!!!


----------



## 4myfinn

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AFWife* 
Another from this weekend: (same guy actually)

*me changing DS's diaper*
D: Is that...
Me: Cloth diapers, yep.
D: Isnt' that expensive?
DH: Well, only at first but after the initial investment...
D: Oh, you wash them???
Me and DH: *pause and look at each other* yes...

I wanted to say, "Hell no, we're rolling in money and just throw them away after each pee!"

































This guy sounds like pure entertainment!


----------



## Eligracey

When my MIL was visiting me last month, she told me "If you need a break from the baby (12 months old at the time), just put him in his crib with some toys while you take a nap. An hour or so in there won't hurt him!"

Maybe this parenting advice works for some babies, not trying to criticize anyone if you do this and your baby is fine with it, but my extremely active toddler would scream for about the last 55 minutes of that time. How am I supposed to sleep through that???

I can't remember if I've already posted this, but other gems from MIL include things like when the baby was a newborn telling me that if he was fussy before 4 hours after a feeding, it was most likely gas rather than hunger and I should give him a peppermint stick to suck on to soothe his belly. Apparently it was a "livesaver" for her kids. Um, perhaps because they were STARVING and candy has calories so shuts them up?

She also told me that my baby got ear infections because cold wind got into his ears when I would take him outside. Apparently I'm supposed to put cotton balls in his ears to keep out the wind. Ever heard of Pasteur's Germ Theory?


----------



## crunchy_mommy

My mom & I were out for lunch with my DS (then 6-7 mos or so) and talking about what DS eats. I said broccoli, sweet potatoes, avocados, brown rice, etc. So she says, Oh so really healthy stuff? I say, Yup! He eats what I eat & I want him to develop a taste for healthy food, not junk.

Not 3 minutes later, we get our food & she says, Can I give him a french fry?


----------



## elus0814

When my first baby was a newborn my mom somehow convinced me to stay with her for a few week so she could "help". I was very young, I had a spinal headache from the horrible epidural that was given while I was pushing and never worked, and I had a fussy baby that I was having a terrible time trying to nurse. All I wanted to do was lay in bed (a spinal headache only goes away when you are laying down) and let the baby sleep next to me but she made me put the baby in a bassinet in another room and get up and try to nurse him in a chair in that room. She also kept inviting people over and having me come downstairs to entertain them for hours. I would be crying in pain and could barely keep my eyes open, anyone who came over would tell me I needed to go back to bed but she would just tell them I was fine. One day when he was maybe three days old there was a house full of people and she kept passing the baby from one person to the next I got really upset because I wanted to hold him. I went upstairs and sobbed, she came up to find out why I wasn't downstairs with everyone and when she saw me crying she put on this mocking pouty face and said "is someone suffering from postpartum depression". I cried a bit longer then went back downstairs and took the baby upstairs to take a nap. That night during one of the nighttime pain filled feeding sessions in the baby's room she just stood at the door to "supervise", she never helped with anything. While she was standing there telling me I needed to let him cry I picked him up to comfort him and she said "well doesn't he just have you wrapped around his little finger". Like a three day old baby is capable of manipulation. I figured out then that she had no clue and she was why I never felt close to her growing up. She was mean!


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *crunchy_mommy* 
Not 3 minutes later, we get our food & she says, Can I give him a french fry?









So she asked? I mean I get it's totally not in the usual diet, but I could see asking. Well, as long as she accepted "no, he's fine" without any fussing.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *elus0814* 
When my first baby was a newborn my mom somehow convinced me to stay with her for a few week so she could "help". ... She was mean!

O.M.G. I hope you've told her off since then. I daresay she'd deny it, but it'd at least let you say "remember all that stuff I yelled at you about? Yeah, that's why you won't be alone with my kids ever." Assuming, that is, that you still speak to her, which I could see not doing.


----------



## wrappedupmama

My little ones are high needs and I've accepted this (though I still have my moments of frustration). So we were at a restaurant and DS is 5 months old and honestly not being all that bad, especially for him. He hates when I sit down to eat no matter where we are. He wanted to nurse, but it was cold so I was putting his jacket on first. He was fussing a little because he didn't want to wait. Well an old woman at the table next to us says "he can have some of my scotch, that will keep him quiet." I responded "umm no, he just wants to nurse." What is wrong with people!


----------



## crunchy_mommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
So she asked? I mean I get it's totally not in the usual diet, but I could see asking. Well, as long as she accepted "no, he's fine" without any fussing.









LOL well if you knew me, I'm super strict about food, so I was shocked she even asked!


----------



## ErinYay

Quote:


Originally Posted by *elus0814* 
I was very young, I had a spinal headache from the horrible epidural that was given while I was pushing and never worked, and I had a fussy baby that I was having a terrible time trying to nurse. All I wanted to do was lay in bed (a spinal headache only goes away when you are laying down)

Oh, Momma!!! I had a nearly 2 week spinal headache from a poorly done spinal tap, and cannot IMAGINE taking care of an infant on top of that. For those not in the know, if you lift your head above heart-level, it feels like someone is smashing your entire brain in a vice; take the worst headache you've ever had, including cluster headaches, and multiply it by a zillion. (It's actually the #1 reason I won't ever have an epidural- fear of a spinal fluid leak!)

You're a super, mega, AMAZING momma for going through that!


----------



## Smokering

Well, this isn't exactly the worst or dumbest, just a bit puzzling...

DD at 23 months can't drink from a straw. She chews it instead of sucking. I mentioned this to MIL and she was all "That's so weird; you'd think she knows how because she still breastfeeds!". I said "Well, not really, it's a different method of suckling." Blank look. "You know, she uses her tongue when she breastfeeds, sort of like lapping?" Blank look. She breastfed two children: did she really think they drank breastmilk like drinking through a straw? Very odd...


----------



## ramlita

Quote:


Originally Posted by *luckysgirl* 
DS was singing yet another of the songs and chattering away about his favorite parts of the show, when a well-dressed woman in her mid-thirties walks up to us and says "You know, little boy, if you don't don't find other things to be interested in you're going to grow up to be very lonely."

I'm not a confrontational person, but it took all I had not to say, "It sounds like loneliness is something you know a lot about."










Hope your son didn't absorb anything from her-

Sounds like one very unhappy person


----------



## Sweetmama26

The dumbest thing I think I've been told as a parent is that giving my 15.5 month old son a doll would turn him gay
















My future MIL and FIL are sooo against giving dolls to children.


----------



## LiLStar




----------



## Miss Chris

Reading all these ridiculous breastfeeding stories suddenly reminded me of this bizarre exchange I had when my daughter was about 3 months old. We had gone to a friend's wedding reception and I was carrying my daughter in her Ellaroo when we were approached by a relative of the bride. This guy was a complete stranger to me.

He says "are you breastfeeding?"
I (still a new mother, not yet used to the bizarrely personal questions strangers will ask you when you have a baby with you) manage to stammer out a "yes" instead of the vastly more appropriate "what business is it of yours?".

and he says:

"When we had our kids we formula fed them because we figured you know whats in the cans but you don't really know what's in the "cans" (as he makes gestures with his hands as though he were lifting his own enormous, invisible breasts) if you know what I mean"

Uh, uh, wow. I think my mouth actually fell open. What do you even say? "How interesting, I think I better be going now....."

Almost four years have passed since that day and it still cracks me up every time I remember it









Miss Chris


----------



## PatienceAndLove

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Miss Chris* 
He says "are you breastfeeding?"
I (still a new mother, not yet used to the bizarrely personal questions strangers will ask you when you have a baby with you) manage to stammer out a "yes" instead of the vastly more appropriate "what business is it of yours?".

and he says:

"When we had our kids we formula fed them because we figured you know whats in the cans but you don't really know what's in the "cans" (as he makes gestures with his hands as though he were lifting his own enormous, invisible breasts) if you know what I mean"

Uh, uh, wow. I think my mouth actually fell open. What do you even say? "How interesting, I think I better be going now....."

I would have to say the opposite! I know what's in my "cans"- tasty goodness!


----------



## Sk8ermaiden

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Miss Chris* 

"When we had our kids we formula fed them because we figured you know whats in the cans but you don't really know what's in the "cans" (as he makes gestures with his hands as though he were lifting his own enormous, invisible breasts) if you know what I mean"

I wonder how he felt about that when that massive tainted formula recall was going on.


----------



## mrspineau

Honestly the dumbest parenting advice that I have recieved was from other parents, while I was pregnant with my first child. Such as "oh you just wait, you aren't a mom yet and you'll see how things really are" and that sort of fluff. Like me saying that I wanted my son to have a bedtime, and not stay up until all hours of the night. so many people seemed to think that was impossible, like I was nuts to even wish for that. He goes to bed by 7 on the dot every single night.


----------



## Amatullah0




----------



## AFWife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mrspineau* 
Honestly the dumbest parenting advice that I have recieved was from other parents, while I was pregnant with my first child. Such as "oh you just wait, you aren't a mom yet and you'll see how things really are" and that sort of fluff. Like me saying that I wanted my son to have a bedtime, and not stay up until all hours of the night. so many people seemed to think that was impossible, like I was nuts to even wish for that. He goes to bed by 7 on the dot every single night.

Yep! My parents said this too. I said I didn't want to vax so, in addition to the "your child will die" comments, I got the "just wait" comments. Well, he's almost 10mo and has had no vax to date.


----------



## smeisnotapirate

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AFWife* 
Yep! My parents said this too. I said I didn't want to vax so, in addition to the "your child will die" comments, I got the "just wait" comments. Well, he's almost 10mo and has had no vax to date.

I still get those, and DS is 20mo.









I remember people telling me that I'd never sleep again after DS was born (I had a rough 3rd trimester). I never slept better than his first 6weeks.


----------



## crunchy_mommy

What's even more annoying to me is the "just wait 'til you have two (or 3, 4 etc.)" comments. Yeah I had no clue what parenting was REALLY like before I became a mom, so I can almost (ALMOST) understand the "wait 'til your baby's born" comments... but what makes them think that by the second or third I'll have abandoned all my morals & beliefs & just be sticking the kid in a crib & letting him cry all night???


----------



## Wolfcat

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RolliePollie* 
On the subject of teeth...

When my son sprouted his first two teeth at 4 months, my ex-h's grandma told me that it was not good that my son was teething so early since teeth that come in too early are no good. She also told me that it was bad he didn't cry because his lungs would never properly develop.

I can kinda see where this one comes from... DS got his teeth in really early and has soft enamel which the doctor said was cuz his body literally grew them too fast so they were calcium deficient. However, it seems to be fairly uncommon, so I doubt it could be generalized to all early teethers.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *butterfly_mommy* 
Really? That is crazy! No one at our Starbucks has ever offered any child I have been with anything.

Once when we were at the grocery store and DS (who was about 16 mons or so) was in the stroller he wanted to go and I was just finishing up paying. He was having a bit of a melt down so the cashier gives him (without asking me) a chocolate ball







Luckily it was wrapped in a coloured wrapper and he didn't know what chocolate was so he just said "ball" and threw it









That is HIGH-larious...









Quote:


Originally Posted by *crunchy_mommy* 
What's even more annoying to me is the "just wait 'til you have two (or 3, 4 etc.)" comments. Yeah I had no clue what parenting was REALLY like before I became a mom, so I can almost (ALMOST) understand the "wait 'til your baby's born" comments... but what makes them think that by the second or third I'll have abandoned all my morals & beliefs & just be sticking the kid in a crib & letting him cry all night???

I have actually gotten the opposite. Due to DS's personality, some of the things I said would or wouldn't happen... well, I've had to modify my stance. My mother gives me a lot of crap about it too... like I should have stuck to my guns instead of being flexible about DS's needs.


----------



## crunchy_mommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Wolfcat* 
I have actually gotten the opposite. Due to DS's personality, some of the things I said would or wouldn't happen... well, I've had to modify my stance. My mother gives me a lot of crap about it too... like I should have stuck to my guns instead of being flexible about DS's needs.

Or the,

"I told you you'd end up doing ____"
or,
"I knew you'd never stick with [insert so-called "crazy" idea here]"

... so annoying lol because yes you KNOW you had to adapt to your kid's (or your own!) needs... no need to rub it in or make you feel weak for it!!


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *crunchy_mommy* 
Or the,

"I told you you'd end up doing ____"
or,
"I knew you'd never stick with [insert so-called "crazy" idea here]"

... so annoying lol because yes you KNOW you had to adapt to your kid's (or your own!) needs... no need to rub it in or make you feel weak for it!!

Exactly, I was anti-pacifier from the start. (I'd seen one too many 5 year olds still using them just because the parents didn't take them away) DS ended up being one of those babies that needed to suck all.the.time. However, FIL had told me that he "needed" a pacifier and called me a "mean mama" because I didn't give him one. So, 2 months in when I was exhausted and sore and the only way he would sleep was when he was sucking I suffered because I didn't want to hear "I told you so" from anyone.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Before Lina, I said "I hope to do things this way, but of course I'll adjust things as the baby needs." And I'd talk about how "always and never will always bite you in the butt and you should never use them.







"








so far, it's been pretty much as I expected.


----------



## mormontreehugger




----------



## InMediasRes

Quote:


Originally Posted by *elus0814* 
When my first baby was a newborn my mom somehow convinced me to stay with her for a few week so she could "help". I was very young, I had a spinal headache from the horrible epidural that was given while I was pushing and never worked, and I had a fussy baby that I was having a terrible time trying to nurse. All I wanted to do was lay in bed (a spinal headache only goes away when you are laying down) and let the baby sleep next to me but she made me put the baby in a bassinet in another room and get up and try to nurse him in a chair in that room. She also kept inviting people over and having me come downstairs to entertain them for hours. I would be crying in pain and could barely keep my eyes open, anyone who came over would tell me I needed to go back to bed but she would just tell them I was fine. One day when he was maybe three days old there was a house full of people and she kept passing the baby from one person to the next I got really upset because I wanted to hold him. I went upstairs and sobbed, she came up to find out why I wasn't downstairs with everyone and when she saw me crying she put on this mocking pouty face and said "is someone suffering from postpartum depression". I cried a bit longer then went back downstairs and took the baby upstairs to take a nap. That night during one of the nighttime pain filled feeding sessions in the baby's room she just stood at the door to "supervise", she never helped with anything. While she was standing there telling me I needed to let him cry I picked him up to comfort him and she said "well doesn't he just have you wrapped around his little finger". Like a three day old baby is capable of manipulation. I figured out then that she had no clue and she was why I never felt close to her growing up. She was mean!

Oh mama,







, I am so sorry you went through this. My mom came to "help" when my DS was born, and I was naive and inexperienced. She held me down while I listened to my poor baby scream for me for 5 minutes.

I hope you have cut that toxicity out of you life.


----------



## Xavismom

I dont plan on actually going back to work, but I am planning on going into my workplace to work on a few clients I really care about now and then (I'm a massage therapist)

So I went in last Sunday for the first time since I had DS. This client is an older lady I really enjoy, and she likes to talk to me during her entire massage. She LOVES talking about babies and kids, she had 2 sons of her own and a whole buncha grandkids.

She asked me if I had any other appointments besides hers that day, and I told her, no, I can only do one appt a day bc DS will not take a bottle. And then she was so worried, well, then how is he eating??









So I tell her I am still BFing him, and I had been pumping and storing milk in the freezer, but DS isnt having it.

So the rest of that convo goes like this

Her: You can STILL make milk? Isnt he almost 3 months old?
Me: Yes, I'm still breastfeeding him, I love nursing him.
Her: Oh my god, is he growing ok??
Me: Yeah, hes huge. He was in the 97th percentile at his 2 month appt! My mom calls him chunka chunka.
Her: So your pediatrician is ok with that, and he thinks your milk is still rich enough?
Me: UH.. yeah... its perfectly fine.
Her: Well you should figure out how to get him on a bottle so he can eat before its too late!








Now I really love this lady.... but OMG! I just smile and tell her thanks... I got loads of stuff like this too about birth while I was preg from her!


----------



## KempsMama

I'm still catching up on the other four threads, but I just had to share this one.

When DS 1 was about a year old we were at the grocery store, weekday, middle of the afternoon. Waiting in line at the checkout, this mid fifties lady was smiling and cooing at DS.

Random Lady: Ah, Mommy took the day off to spend with you, isn't that nice!
Me: Oh, no, I stay home with him.
Random Lady: You mean he's not in day care?!?
Me: Nope, I stay home with him.
Random Lady: But how will he learn anything!?!?!?!?


----------



## kriket

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sweetmama26* 
The dumbest thing I think I've been told as a parent is that giving my 15.5 month old son a doll would turn him gay














\

I have had more than a few people tell me that if I get DS a play kitchen it will make him a sissy. I'm trained as a chef, and in school, and all but one place I've worked have been male dominated kitchens! I don't know how people think cooking is wimpy or for sissies. I have some pretty serious scars from burns!

Even DH doesn't like the idea.

I'm going to get him one anyway.


----------



## Amatullah0

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kriket* 
I have had more than a few people tell me that if I get DS a play kitchen it will make him a sissy. I'm trained as a chef, and in school, and all but one place I've worked have been male dominated kitchens! I don't know how people think cooking is wimpy or for sissies. I have some pretty serious scars from burns!

Even DH doesn't like the idea.

I'm going to get him one anyway.

LOVE your siggy!

i want to get DS a kitchen too(in about a year or so) -- DH thinks they're "for girls" funny, since he thinks he can cook better than me... lol


----------



## smeisnotapirate

My DH was that way over getting DS a baby doll. So I made him a very manly toddler-sized wrap to go with it.









DH rolls his eyes over a play kitchen because he likes when DS plays in the real kitchen with him (DH is the cook of the two of us). "Why does he need a play kitchen when he has a REAL one to play with???"

I probably shouldn't complain.


----------



## Xavismom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 
My DH was that way over getting DS a baby doll. So I made him a very manly toddler-sized wrap to go with it.









DH rolls his eyes over a play kitchen because he likes when DS plays in the real kitchen with him (DH is the cook of the two of us). "Why does he need a play kitchen when he has a REAL one to play with???"

I probably shouldn't complain.









That is soooo cute!!


----------



## Thalia

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ErinYay* 
(It's actually the #1 reason I won't ever have an epidural- fear of a spinal fluid leak!)

Me too! I have two friends who have gotten those kinds of headaches from problems with an epidural. One was for labor, and one was for a different kind of surgery. One of my friends said she truly thought she was going to die from the pain. Helped me put my pitocin-contractions in perspective.


----------



## Sweetmama26

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kriket* 
I have had more than a few people tell me that if I get DS a play kitchen it will make him a sissy. I'm trained as a chef, and in school, and all but one place I've worked have been male dominated kitchens! I don't know how people think cooking is wimpy or for sissies. I have some pretty serious scars from burns!

Even DH doesn't like the idea.

I'm going to get him one anyway.

LOL no one has a problem with my DS having a play kitchen, but I bring up giving him a doll and everyone is up in arms, I don't care, my boys will get dolls









I once had someone tell me that I should leave my son to cry for 30 to 45 mins at a time so he LEARNS to go to sleep on his own, I'm not one to allow my son to cry, I want him to know he's cared about not going to be ignored when he has a need.


----------



## Veronika01

A friend is still having trouble with her 2 yr old not wanting to sleep alone and they're desperate to get her into her own bed. Her ped told her last week that it's ok if her dd cries for 8 hrs and vomits, she has to learn to sleep on her own.


----------



## Amatullah0

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Veronika01* 
A friend is still having trouble with her 2 yr old not wanting to sleep alone and they're desperate to get her into her own bed. Her ped told her last week that it's ok if her dd cries for 8 hrs and vomits, she has to learn to sleep on her own.









its so much worse when "The All-Knowing Doctor" says something stupid like this! is it so terrible to let your darling baby stay close to you?


----------



## mrspineau

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 
I still get those, and DS is 20mo.









I remember people telling me that I'd never sleep again after DS was born (I had a rough 3rd trimester). I never slept better than his first 6weeks.









yep i got that one too! i got:

1. "your nails wont be getting done every four weeks when you have kids"
2. "your house won't be clean when there are toys everywhere"
3. "you'll find that a schedule just doesnt work."
4. "you say you will have rules, but you'll see the kids will end up ruling the house"

etc etc etc etc


----------



## sapphire_chan

Veronika, did you tell your friend it sounds like she's got a problem with a pediatrician who hates children?


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mrspineau* 
yep i got that one too! i got:

1. "your nails wont be getting done every four weeks when you have kids"
2. "your house won't be clean when there are toys everywhere"
3. "you'll find that a schedule just doesnt work."
4. "you say you will have rules, but you'll see the kids will end up ruling the house"

etc etc etc etc









It's great that you had kids who let you do all those things, but for most people going into it with those expectations results in them being really really angry with their LO when it doesn't work.

I hope you tell new mamas that you've been lucky because it's awesome when a baby responds well to a schedule, but forcing a baby into a schedule is disgusting and horrible. And forcing babies into schedules is what ends up happening when people who do have babies who respond well to schedules sing the praises of schedules.

You don't let your baby cry, but many people who'd say what you did would have let their baby scream and scream to accomplish the same result.


----------



## mamarhu

My favorite story is the time I was at work with my 2 week old daughter in a sling. I managed a tiny fishing resort, and was sitting out in the sun, nursing. I will grant you I was 38 YO, but really!?! A woman came up to me and asked, "Is this your 1st grandchild?"

Some years later, the same daughter was 12 or so, and note that I would have been around 50. We were buying a bunch of baby stuff from a craigslist ad. The poor woman was trying to be polite and not make the stupid comment about either of us being pregnant. But she was subtly trying to steal glances at either of us, to see which one might be pregnant. Means folks that we are, DD and I never cleared it up for her, and we still laugh about the poor confused woman.


----------



## KempsMama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
It's great that you had kids who let you do all those things, but for most people going into it with those expectations results in them being really really angry with their LO when it doesn't work.

I hope you tell new mamas that you've been lucky because it's awesome when a baby responds well to a schedule, but forcing a baby into a schedule is disgusting and horrible. And forcing babies into schedules is what ends up happening when people who do have babies who respond well to schedules sing the praises of schedules.

You don't let your baby cry, but many people who'd say what you did would have let their baby scream and scream to accomplish the same result.

This sounds like your blaming her for other people's poor parenting choices. I'm certain that's not what your meaning to say.


----------



## Smithie

I got a lot of the same kind of doom-and-gloom, and I felt like it was an attempt to INTIMIDATE me into giving up AP methods in favor of scheduling and CIO, because otherwise I'd be a miserable filthy bedraggled drudge. I don't think it does a darn bit of good to tell somebody that it's normal and healthy for them to be chronically exhausted and perform no personal or household maintenance for a couple of years. Lots and lots of parents can be AP without the whole martyrdom angle.


----------



## Honey693

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Smithie* 









I got a lot of the same kind of doom-and-gloom, and I felt like it was an attempt to INTIMIDATE me into giving up AP methods in favor of scheduling and CIO, because otherwise I'd be a miserable filthy bedraggled drudge. I don't think it does a darn bit of good to tell somebody that it's normal and healthy for them to be chronically exhausted and perform no personal or household maintenance for a couple of years. Lots and lots of parents can be AP without the whole martyrdom angle.

Yup. I could get my nails done, have a super clean house, and we do have a loose schedule. I prefer to keep my nails short and wear sweatpants and DH doesn't care if the house is messy so I usually don't either. But it's b/c i want to, not b/c OMG APing doesn't let you do anything.


----------



## Xavismom

IMO, I think I actually get WAY more sleep as an AP Mama than other people I know with small infants that do things other ways, like sleeping the baby in a dif room, and CIO.

I took DS in to see my work friends, and while I love all of them, they were VERY 'doom and gloom' about it, especially the things I told them I was going to do, like natural birth, BFing, co-sleeping, and cloth diapers.

They couldnt WAIT to hear about how awfull it all was, and when I told them all of it was fantastic, they were either shocked or didnt believe me, espcially when I told them how much I loved giving birth to DS.







They still dont believe me when I tell them I love my cloth diapers.

I remember one girl in particular told me that her OB told her "97% of women who WANT natural child birth, either have a problem, or cave in on pain medication." My whole pregnancy she would keep harping on this, saying, dont get your hopes up, etc.


----------



## LiLStar

I think what that OB means is, 97% of women under his care who want natural childbirth, he's able to find/invent a problem with or badger into getting drugs in labor


----------



## smeisnotapirate

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LiLStar* 
I think what that OB means is, 97% of women under his care who want natural childbirth, he's able to find/invent a problem with or badger into getting drugs in labor









:


----------



## Xavismom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LiLStar* 
I think what that OB means is, 97% of women under his care who want natural childbirth, he's able to find/invent a problem with or badger into getting drugs in labor

That is SOOOOO what I thought!! I didnt say anything to her though, bc she is dead set that NCB is near impossible.







I would just smile and say, we'll see.


----------



## St. Margaret

Yeah, I loved how people would tell me I WOULD want the epidural. I just grinned and stopped listening, chanting "bubble of peace" inside my head. Or if it was that kind of person, told them I wasn't listening to negative statements about birth and flounced off







Yay, Hypnobabies!

I also loved the MULTIPLE people who asked me if I had a place for the baby to sleep. I smiled and told them yes! (right next to me!) These were coworkers at a high school, who barely knew me. So nosey!

Next time I want the maternity shirt that says "epidural, shmepidural"


----------



## GoGoGirl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamarhu* 
My favorite story is the time I was at work with my 2 week old daughter in a sling. I managed a tiny fishing resort, and was sitting out in the sun, nursing. I will grant you I was 38 YO, but really!?! A woman came up to me and asked, "Is this your 1st grandchild?"

You'd think people would be smart enough to figure out that if you're nursing, you're probably the mom!

We just moved into a kind of fancy apartment complex where a lot of the residents have nannies. People keep asking me, or just assuming, that I'm the nanny. My favorite was a man who asked me, while I was breastfeeding my daughter, if I have any kids. Yeah, guy, I have this one. I know a lot of people here have household help, but I really doubt that extends to wet nurses!


----------



## aurora_skys

Ok, the dumbest advice Ive gotten lately is that I shouldnt allow my 16 mo to watch The Wiggles because they have a secret gay agenda. (Ah mil, you sure do believe everything you hear...) When I said that almost all were family men and that there was no evidence that any of them are gay she argued with me and then went on to say that all gay people are sexually fixated and promiscuous... Not really something that I want my son hearing especially since I have relatives who are gay and I love them very much. So yea, definitely the dumbest parenting "advice" Ive heard in a while!


----------



## minkajane

I had the worst day at work. I work in a maternity store and most of the time it's wonderful, but sometimes I get crazy days.

First, this guy came in with his wife and about six kids (not exaggerating). The bigger kids wandered around the store messing up my displays (though admittedly not seemingly maliciously). The little one, seemed to be almost 2, wandered in after everyone else, crying. She continued to cry the entire time they were there. For the most part, everyone just ignored her while she cried and begged for her Mommy.

The dad stood to the side making snarky comments while the pregnant mom carried big piles of clothes around and tried to figure out what he thought of things, which he refused to tell her. He continually made mean comments about the little girl crying, without speaking to her, cuddling her, anything. The mom said, "She needs a pacifier, she's tired." He said, "Well, if you'd pop her off the t*t, she wouldn't need a pacifier!" The mom ignored him and bought a pacifier for the little girl, which led to a 5-minute tirade on his part about why does he need to buy a f***ing pacifier for her, it's a waste of money, etc.

He then started complaining that he needed to give the girl Nyquil or Benadryl. At one point, he actually turned to me and asked if we sold Benadryl to "quiet kids." I glared at him and could barely choke out the word "No." I didn't say anything more than that because I would have said something rude and I don't want to get fired.

THEN when they were paying, he looked at the mom's belly and muttered, "Probably not mine anyway, don't know why I should pay for it." At that point, I was ready to kill the guy. I was polite to them, but not cheerful like I normally am with customers. I just wanted them to leave.

****

Right after that, a woman, her 3yo daughter, and her mother were shopping. For the first half hour they were there, the grandma played with the little girl, who was really sweet and well-behaved. After that, it seemed like she got tired of playing with her and waiting while her daughter shopped, so she spent the next half hour sitting in a chair telling her granddaughter to quit touching things, but not giving her anything to do. At one point, she wandered off to look at a table and the grandma said "If you take another step, I'm going to bust your butt!" She ended up going to get her and dragging her back to the chair. I don't know if she spanked her or not. I couldn't look. The mom said something to the effect of, "That's what you get, I saw you pushing Grandma's buttons!" She's THREE and you've been here an HOUR with no toys or books. The kid's bored out of her skull!

****

Last thing was a little one, but it irked me. A woman came in with her little girl, about 3, who was helping her pick out clothes. At one point, the girl wandered over to our nursing tops and pointed one out to her mom. The mom said very loudly. "Oh no, I'm not doing that _breastfeeding_ thing. Nooooo way!" It just made me cringe the way she said it. Whether you choose to BF or not, you don't need to make it seem like something too horrible to even think about!


----------



## transylvania_mom

MIL to 5 y/o ds: "You are not allowed to cry. Big boys don't cry."
What annoys me is that she actually thinks what she says makes him feel better (because he stops crying).

It makes me


----------



## ramlita




----------



## AFWife

DH mentioned to a coworker that we don't vax.

Her response: But what's going to protect your child??
DH: ....his immune system

She's a sweet older lady so I can't make fun and be mean about it. I thought it was amusing.


----------



## milkybean

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
Something similar happened to me the other day. I was picking up DS's birthday cake at Walmart and out of nowhere the girl asked him if he wanted a cookie. I let him have it because he was already cranky and would have had a meltdown if I had said no, but I glared at the girl and said, "It's probably not a good idea to offer a kid a cookie without asking the parents first." She just kind of shrugged and said sorry. It was a peanut butter cookie too - how does she know he's not allergic to peanuts or diabetic or has Crohn's disease or anything?

My husband may or may not have gotten a bakery employee fired over a similar situation. Interestingly, this was well before we knew that DS can't have corn syrup products, but it was while we were still going VERY slowly with foods. The bakery worker just offered DS, not through DH, a cookie. And we've since found out that this place's more premium cookies are perfectly fine, but the cheapie ones they offer to kids for free are just junk.

DH told her absolutely not in no uncertain terms, and complained to the manager about her.

And then this employee was never to be seen again by us at the store. So...he didn't intend to have her fired, but it's possible it happened.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *boringscreenname* 
There's one worker at the Starbucks we go to inside the grocery store, who always offers DS a little cup full of whipped cream, every time we're there.

No I'm not going to feed my 16 month old that much sugar, then make him sit in the cart and endure a grocery shopping trip.

That sounds like a recipe for disaster, and I am NOT a glutton for punishment.

So...I've watched s'bux employees prepare the whipping cream spray thing, and it seems to be just cream, and it's insta-whipped by the air canister. Not sure there's any sugar in there.

NOT that it's right for them to offer whipped cow milk, but I'm not certain sugar is what you need to worry about with them, unless they're different from the s'buxes around here, and are using ReddiWhip etc etc.

I haven't gotten anything silly in so long. DS is 5.5 and everything we've done has worked out pretty well, so people are silent on current choices. Then again, we don't talk about our choices very often unless we KNOW the person is safe. OK so there are issues with corn syrup products, and he did have to have 2 teeth extracted (they grew in yellow turned brown, and started to erode...we assume it's genetics from DH's side and/or a later effects from the impact of a nasty table/face accident he had at 6 months that popped out a brand new tooth), but other than that, it's all worked.


----------



## PatienceAndLove

Quote:


Originally Posted by *milkybean* 
So...I've watched s'bux employees prepare the whipping cream spray thing, and it seems to be just cream, and it's insta-whipped by the air canister. Not sure there's any sugar in there.

NOT that it's right for them to offer whipped cow milk, but I'm not certain sugar is what you need to worry about with them, unless they're different from the s'buxes around here, and are using ReddiWhip etc etc.

Sbux whipped cream is prepared with 16 oz of heavy whipping cream and about 5 oz of vanilla syrup. It is then shaken, and "whipped" by the canister.

It is possible to make soy whip with the canisters that sbux uses (trust me, i've done it) but it is too spendy to do on a regular basis.


----------



## frontierpsych

I have strangers offer DS all sorts of stuff, not knowing he has a dairy and egg allergy. Irks me to no end!


----------



## intrepidmother

This was an easy one!

My BIL spent a good 10 minutes telling me how I should just shut the door and let it (my LO) cry, how I should put ear plugs in and teach it how to fall asleep, how I'm spoiling it by holding it all the time.... etc, etc....

After he had his say I responded "this coming from the person who refers to her as in IT." That shut him up. Did I mention this is a single 26 yr. old man?? What gives him the right to say anything!! Argh. In- Laws


----------



## WindyCityMom

While nursing my DD at a restaurant, DH's cousin asked me..

"So.. is breastfeeding really better than "original?"

Say what!?


----------



## sleepingbeauty

You should have told her that BF IS the original!! lol


----------



## WindyCityMom

In his defense he's a naive 19 year old. DH & I are both 19 approaching 20, but both have mindsets way ahead of our age, maturity-wise. So I'm happy to have educated one more person.

I do wonder if he thought that breastfeeding was something that the modern world created


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WindyCityMom* 
In his defense he's a naive 19 year old. DH & I are both 19 approaching 20, but both have mindsets way ahead of our age, maturity-wise. So I'm happy to have educated one more person.

I do wonder if he thought that breastfeeding was something that the modern world created









LOL You sound like DH and I around our friends! We got married when I was 19 and I was 22 when DS was born. Most of our friends' biggest problems are "How drunk can I get tonight?" and "Why can't I remember past 10pm last night?"


----------



## minkajane

More gems from the maternity store:

Her: Well, after two C-sections, you HAVE to have another!

Me: Uh, no you don't. _blah blah blah, ACOG recommendations, etc.
_
Her: _Blank stare._ Oh, well, I don't mind C-sections. There's no recovery!

Me: No recovery? Except for the six weeks healing from major abdominal surgery.

Her: Well, I was up and walking only three days after mine!

Me: _Right, because vaginal birth makes your legs stop working for six weeks._

****

Overheard spoken by a soon-to-be-grandma on the cell phone:

"If the baby's over eight pounds, the doctor won't deliver it...you know...the _natural_ way..."

There are just so many things wrong with that, I don't even know where to begin.


----------



## Amatullah0

whenever i put ds into the mei tai, i get comments like: "he's all squished" to which I reply "good, he likes it like that"

or, sometimes: them:"he can't breathe!"
me: "good, it makes him fall asleep faster!"
them:









hehe, i got a new wrap, and I can't wait to show that off, i'm going to a conference this weekend, and bringing ds, hoping he'll stay in the wrap most of the time.

the funny thing is, these are my friends saying it, they see him slinged all the time... haha.... i guess i'm just the only one that does it around here, they think its dangerous or something









ahhhh! one thing that really bugs me is, as soon as I get him into a carrier, people are coming up to me to coo over ds and ask if they can hold him. i wonder if they think they are rescuing him or something


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Amatullah0* 
whenever i put ds into the mei tai, i get comments like: "he's all squished" to which I reply "good, he likes it like that"

or, sometimes: them:"he can't breathe!"
me: "good, it makes him fall asleep faster!"
them:









hehe, i got a new wrap, and I can't wait to show that off, i'm going to a conference this weekend, and bringing ds, hoping he'll stay in the wrap most of the time.

the funny thing is, these are my friends saying it, they see him slinged all the time... haha.... i guess i'm just the only one that does it around here, they think its dangerous or something









ahhhh! one thing that really bugs me is, as soon as I get him into a carrier, people are coming up to me to coo over ds and ask if they can hold him. i wonder if they think they are rescuing him or something









I love how people think that BWing is some new and weird thing...Like, how did people survive before the invention of strollers?


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AFWife* 
I love how people think that BWing is some new and weird thing...Like, how did people survive before the invention of strollers?

The REAL question is: How did people survive before the invention of the WHEEL?? Without wheels there would be no strollers!


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thyra* 
The REAL question is: How did people survive before the invention of the WHEEL?? Without wheels there would be no strollers!

I guess they had really strong arm muscles??


----------



## Amatullah0

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AFWife* 
I guess they had really strong arm muscles??

no, of course they left the babies in their cribs while everyone went out to work, while one woman looked after all of the babies, fed them from bottles(ya know, like how Jesus was fed!) and let them cry themselves to sleep.


----------



## smeisnotapirate

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Amatullah0* 
no, of course they left the babies in their cribs while everyone went out to work, while one woman looked after all of the babies, fed them from bottles(ya know, like how Jesus was fed!) and let them cry themselves to sleep.

















Love it.


----------



## HappyFox05

A grandmother sitting next to me at the local mall play area told me one of the reasons she brings her 2 yr old granddaughter there is so she can, "...talk like a kid instead of talking like a grown-up all the time". Huh?


----------



## AllisonR

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HappyFox05* 
A grandmother sitting next to me at the local mall play area told me one of the reasons she brings her 2 yr old granddaughter there is so she can, "...talk like a kid instead of talking like a grown-up all the time". Huh?

Hey, I think that's funny. When my DCs are around, I get to sing fart songs and "mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school...." and other such nonesense. I think it's quite enjoyable and theraputic to talk and act like a kid sometimes. Especially after a stressful day at work.


----------



## aurora_skys

Hmm, I wonder if that grandmother wishes the two yr old would baby talk? I know some people who intentionally try to slow language development in their kids because they think baby talk is cute. Whenever I see this Im like


----------



## Amatullah0

I was out for a seminar last weekend(and the one before it), and I wore DS in the wrap the whole time, and nursed him during the lecture, which caused him to sleep, which allowed me to pay attention, which was great! A lot of the women thought the wrap was awesome, and I even did a demonstration,







it was great!

The other moms had strollers, and were pushing their babies around, trying to get them to sleep, and I was talking to this one mom of a 20mo, I was telling her how great it is that i can nurse my ds in the wrap and actually be able to sit in the class(any kid sounds in the room made it hard to hear, so we were asked to leave if our kids were making noises)

she replied by asking me how old my ds was, i told her he is 9mo, and she told me i had better start weaning him now, because her 20mo dd was so hard to wean, she just stopped nursing last week!

i was thinking "uhhh, 20mo, really? its good to still be nursing at that age, why would I want to stop nursing my teeny tiny baby who still needs to nurse to fall asleep? why would i give up the ease of nursing when this has all of the best things for him in it?"

I probably should have sad "oh, i'm sorry you had to stop nursing!







" but she was talking about it like it was a terrible thing to have been still nursing her 20mo(which, awesomely enough, is normal in our religious community!)


----------



## BlueWolf

Every time I see DHs grandmother she asks "Is that baby crawling yet?!" I'm pretty sure my DD will skip crawling and go straight to walking. Well, DHs grandmother insists that she HAS TO crawl because that was what the doctors told her when she had her babies... back in the 60s. I've had this conversation with our pedi and he thinks she's right on track developmentally and not all babies crawl. Yet it doesn't matter when I tell DHs grandmother this as she starts to spout off that this was a prestigious hospital and they knew what they were talking about, so now I absolutely must make my DD crawl at all costs, even if I have to force her.


----------



## mommy212

Lately I've had...
(while wearing LO in my mei tai) "Can't you afford a stroller?"

my mom, as I am picking up my LO, who is crying in his seat: "Boy, he's got you trained, huh?"
Also, from the same situation many times before:
"He's just fussing for the sake of fussing."
"It won't hurt him to cry." (which it doesn't literally, but I am not going to do dishes while he cries in his seat... dishes can wait!)
"He's just fussing to get your attention." Well... duh!

More from mom:
"You know, you can quit now. He's got what he needs." (2 weeks, referring to BFing)

"You're not going to feed him rice cereal first?"
"No, I want him to have something with flavor."
"Well, cereal is digested easier."
"Not really, they pretty much disproved that."
"When are you going to start stocking up on jars, then?"
"I'll start making it in a few weeks, and then it'll be in the freezer whenever he's ready."
"You're going to MAKE his food? For goodness' sake, WHY?"

My grandma:
"You're STILL breastfeeding?" (at 3 months)


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommy212* 
"You're not going to feed him rice cereal first?"
"No, I want him to have something with flavor."
"Well, cereal is digested easier."
"Not really, they pretty much disproved that."
"When are you going to start stocking up on jars, then?"
"I'll start making it in a few weeks, and then it'll be in the freezer whenever he's ready."
"You're going to MAKE his food? For goodness' sake, WHY?"

We did BLW and got lots of comments from my MIL about cereal.

And I still get a lot of "He really can chew can't he?" even though he's 11 months.


----------



## CoBabyMaker

From a friend's mom when DD was barely 3 months old: "She's not rolling over yet? Maybe you need to let her cry longer." Yeah, that usually helps me do things too. Huh???

Also when DD was 3 months old she was chewing on her burp cloth FIL saw it and said: "Oh, you know when [SIL] was a baby we used to fill a corner of the burp cloth with sugar and let her suck on it. It's called a sugar teet. They just love it!" I bet.

MIL in a separate conversation: "Well, breastmilk is mostly sugar anyway. We did a taste of the formula and [SIL]'s milk and it was much sweeter."

DD is small and always has been and also has food allergies. I think that MIL is convinced she is nutritionally deficient because she doesn't have dairy. She is still nursing (though I'm pregnant and have dried up) and we give her coconut milk. She eats A LOT of solid food as well at 20 months. MIL is always coming up with theories as to why. My "faves":
"Well, she isn't getting those empty calories from milk like other kids."
"Do you think she eats so often because she's almost a vegetarian?" I guess I need to give her meat at every meal.
Yet when we told her we were pregnant the second thing out of her mouth was (to DD): "You're going to have to start eating more real food." (as opposed to nursing)


----------



## simplemama32

My MIL thinks kids should be taught how to play. (No sense in letting their own imagination or creativity have a say!) DS can barely play with a toy...especially something like a puzzle or shape sorter...when she's around because she is *constantly* taking it away from him and saying "No! You do it like this." or "No-no...you're doing it the wrong way. Let Granny show you the 'proper' way to do it."









She also told DS the other day "not to cry because you look so ugly when you cry"...all while making a horrifying face at him and imitating his crying sounds. He is 23 months old, and he was tired, sick, hadn't seen me all day, and he wanted to nurse. I know she was trying to be funny, but it just makes me...


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CoBabyMaker* 
"Do you think she eats so often because she's almost a vegetarian?" I guess I need to give her meat at every meal.

But meat makes people eat less often.

Since she gets coconut milk, could you just look at her like she's being silly and say "but dd gets at least x oz of milk a day"? No wait, that'd just set you up for your dd getting dairy from grannie.


----------



## Wolfcat

Quote:


Originally Posted by *simplemama32* 
My MIL thinks kids should be taught how to play. (No sense in letting their own imagination or creativity have a say!) DS can barely play with a toy...especially something like a puzzle or shape sorter...when she's around because she is *constantly* taking it away from him and saying "No! You do it like this." or "No-no...you're doing it the wrong way. Let Granny show you the 'proper' way to do it."









She also told DS the other day "not to cry because you look so ugly when you cry"...all while making a horrifying face at him and imitating his crying sounds. He is 23 months old, and he was tired, sick, hadn't seen me all day, and he wanted to nurse. I know she was trying to be funny, but it just makes me...









My mother does this too. She is always criticizing how DS does things: playing, eating, talking, everything.







I just want to slap her silly, or tell her she is being an emotional bully... but the truth is, she doesn't know better and doesn't want to learn.


----------



## Fyrestorm

Quote:


Originally Posted by *simplemama32* 
saying "No! You do it like this." or "No-no...you're doing it the wrong way. Let Granny show you the 'proper' way to do it."


























I have to physically stop myself from doing this to my DD. I know I shouldn't (and I don't) but my OCD kicks in and I have to not watch


----------



## minkajane

You know, we haven't seen this thread in a while. Hate to let a good thing die!


----------



## AFWife

My mom the other day discussing my pregnancy:
Her: When DS coming to live with us? (they live 4 hours away)
Me: Excuse me? MY SON is staying with me.
Her: We just thought you'd like some time with the new baby. (I'm 5 weeks pregnant)
Me: DS is still nursing.
Her: It's just for comfort. He's weaning.
Me: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ...No.
Her: Well, are you and DS going to come stay with us the month after the baby is born so you can recoup? (I did that when DS was born because DH was in military training)
Me: DH gets a couple of weeks of paternity leave.
Her: *disappointed* Oh

So not dumb but just...irritating. And if I had a dollar for everytime she mentioned DS just nursing for comfort and weaning soon I'd be able to sustain MDC!


----------



## Adaline'sMama

I clean this woman's house and she said to me ( when my baby was two weeks old and I was there to pick up a check from cleaning while nine months pregnant), "Never, Ever let anyone kiss your baby, not even your husband. She could get menangitis and DIE".

While I was pregnant, another one of he quotable comments; "Oh my god, you are pregnant?? (I was 7 month pregnant, and looked every bit of it.) I cant even tell! Those are the ones that hurt really really bad you know, the ones that you can barely see."


----------



## crunchy_mommy

My mom: I don't know how you do it, WAH and watching your DS all day. I thought it was tough being a SAHM. I give you a lot of credit.
...a couple days later, talking about when DH hopefully gets benefits at his job next year...
Me: I can't wait, then I can finally quit this job.
Mom: Ohhh you're too much *exasperated sigh* *eye rolls* (implying I'm incredibly lazy for wanting to be "just" a SAHM).

Oh and along the same lines...
Her: You should really wait 'til you can quit that job before you have another kid.
...a week or two later...
Her: When are you guys going to have another baby? I want another grandkid!!!

Talk about mixed messages....


----------



## CherryBombMama

my mom side of the family:

-leave baby in playpen all day, that way *they will learn that the world doesnt revolve around them.*

never put them down to nap. always let them fall asleep wherever they happen to be. that way, they learn to sleep on their own. and if you have to rock/sleep with/lower lights, theyre not REALLY tired.

small boobs=no milk. they were blown away when i was supplying milk for my ds AND a friends baby for a couple months.

give sugar for hiccups. always. with every hiccup.

if baby is crying, watch tv and ignore baby. *that way, they will learn that crying doesnt get your attention.*

so sad


----------



## AFWife

When DS was 2mo he got this rash that covered his chest and down one arm. Not only that, but it was summer and my IL's house doesn't cool down well. So, we had DS in just a diaper. FIL's reaction: "Put a shirt on that boy" "Why?" "Because if you don't he'll get used to not having a shirt on." "He has a rash." "Oh, what did you do??" *sigh*

We got the same talk about shoes...he "needed" to wear shoes all the time so that he would get used to them on his feet.

And when his feet were slightly chilly (it was 70something degrees in the house...not cold) I got a lecture about how much he needed socks.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CherryBombMama* 
never put them down to nap. always let them fall asleep wherever they happen to be. that way, they learn to sleep on their own. and if you have to rock/sleep with/lower lights, theyre not REALLY tired.

Yeah, that worked great until DD was about 18 months. Then she couldn't even have the light on for me to read by.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AFWife* 
We got the same talk about shoes...he "needed" to wear shoes all the time so that he would get used to them on his feet.

Someone should've given DD the memo. She had a hat on every single day in her first winter, and then rejected all sun hats when spring came.


----------



## Angelorum

The librarian, after hearing that my baby is in fact a boy said, "But, she's so pretty!"

He was wearing brown pants and an orange sweater. I guess it could be a really non-girly girl's outfit. I don't take offense to people mistaking the gender, but I just thought her response when I corrected her was funny!


----------



## frontierpsych

I haven't gotten anything good lately, just a bunch of sweet, loving comments.









I admit it, though, I love hearing about the stupid comments people receive. My sister is 4 months pregnant now, and it reminds me of what NOT to say to her!

Oh, actually, I do have a dumb comment related to that.

My sister is 19. I was 19 when I got pregnant with my first baby.

My mom: "She's just so YOUNG!"
Me: "She's the same age I was when I got pregnant."
My mom: "Yeah, but you were married!"

Hmm, so marital status has an effect on one's ability to parent? Good to know. Next time someone compliments my parenting I'll say "Oh, it's because I'm married."


----------



## crunchy_mommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Angelorum* 
The librarian, after hearing that my baby is in fact a boy said, "But, she's so pretty!"

He was wearing brown pants and an orange sweater. I guess it could be a really non-girly girl's outfit. I don't take offense to people mistaking the gender, but I just thought her response when I corrected her was funny!

Haha that happens to me all the time with DS even though he's usually wearing very boyish clothes (dark blue with trucks or something). One guy said, "Oh he's pretty enough to be a girl!"







hehe I think it's so funny that the librarian still said "she"


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *frontierpsych* 
I haven't gotten anything good lately, just a bunch of sweet, loving comments.









I admit it, though, I love hearing about the stupid comments people receive. My sister is 4 months pregnant now, and it reminds me of what NOT to say to her!

Oh, actually, I do have a dumb comment related to that.

My sister is 19. I was 19 when I got pregnant with my first baby.

My mom: "She's just so YOUNG!"
Me: "She's the same age I was when I got pregnant."
My mom: "Yeah, but you were married!"

Hmm, so marital status has an effect on one's ability to parent? Good to know. Next time someone compliments my parenting I'll say "Oh, it's because I'm married."









Is your sister partnered or going to be a single parent? Because from what I've seen of single mamas, that's a TOUGH job no matter how old you are. And if your sister doesn't have a partner who will step up to the plate and do all the things your dh has done, then your sis will have a much much harder time than you.

Of course, I'm assuming your mom was speaking as your sister's mom and not as a judging stranger.


----------



## beru

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sk8ermaiden* 
Ditto that. Loooove 100% Cranberry Juice.

I know this is a really old post to quote and totally off topic, but I am curious. Kidzaplenty and Sk8ermaiden, do you really drink straight 100% cranberry juice? It is so tart!? Or do you drink "100% juice cranberry"? I have to go to a the health food aisle and pay $5 to $7 for a small bottle of 100% cranberry juice. The "100% juice" stuff in the regular juice aisle is half as cheap and the majority of the "100% juice" is white grape juice. Is that what you are drinking?

I am truly curious because I just think it tastes like medicine (and that's basically what I buy it for).


----------



## Kidzaplenty

I drink both, actually. But, I prefer the 100% cranberry. I like the tart.


----------



## Sk8ermaiden

100% cranberry juice - it is not expensive here and the tart is delicious. I asked several people when that post first debuted, and most of my friends and family frink 100% cranberry juice on a range from occasionally to frequently. I usually have some in the fridge.


----------



## smeisnotapirate

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Angelorum* 
The librarian, after hearing that my baby is in fact a boy said, "But, she's so pretty!"

He was wearing brown pants and an orange sweater. I guess it could be a really non-girly girl's outfit. I don't take offense to people mistaking the gender, but I just thought her response when I corrected her was funny!

I showed this picture of my son to a new woman at our temple - after repeatedly saying that I had a son. She says "OMG, your daughter is just lovely! Look at her hair!"







Ooooohkay. Some people just don't pay attention, I think.


----------



## minkajane

Sara, I am blown away by the untold level of cute that is your son.


----------



## SaoirseC

Inspired by the first post:
My MIL is an RN, you'd think she would understand allergies. At one time, my oldest was allergic to dairy products (confirmed by skin-prick testing, but cured by my colostrum- just had to throw that in! ;P). Before the colostrum cure, we visited DH's family on the other side of the country. MIL had been reminded again and again about this. First night we arrive from out of town, she serves us PIZZA. Second night, LASAGNA. Then she adds butter to his toast! "I didn't know that butter would cause an issue!" Grrrr...


----------



## Angelorum

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 
I showed this picture of my son to a new woman at our temple - after repeatedly saying that I had a son. She says "OMG, your daughter is just lovely! Look at her hair!"







Ooooohkay. Some people just don't pay attention, I think.









LOL. Adorable picture, though.

this is what my son was wearing that day at the library.


----------



## smeisnotapirate

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
Sara, I am blown away by the untold level of cute that is your son.

EEK! Thanks!







I think he's pretty much the cutest kid in the world, but I'm a bit biased.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *Angelorum* 
LOL. Adorable picture, though.

this is what my son was wearing that day at the library.

Cool sweater!! I definitely would have said boy, but at that age, who knows?


----------



## sleepingbeauty

I love reading these!


----------



## SaoirseC

Here's another one. When DS was very very little, my MIL was still trying to convince us to circ him; (she had already convinced DH, it was just me protecting my little one) she somehow persuaded my SIL to call me (in addition to her 2-3 calls/week). SIL's argument: I would be grossed out to sleep with a man who wasn't circ'ed. Second argument: "it looks gross." "so you think performing cosmetic surgery on a minor is okay" "yeah, i would totally get implants if i could" She was 17 at the time. anyway see the failure in logic there? Then she had my FIL call. His argument: "i don't see why it matters to you women so much. why don't you just get it done so she'll leave you alone?" Wow, so is that really the way we should make medical decisions for our children??


----------



## beru

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sk8ermaiden* 
100% cranberry juice - it is not expensive here and the tart is delicious. I asked several people when that post first debuted, and most of my friends and family frink 100% cranberry juice on a range from occasionally to frequently. I usually have some in the fridge.

Well thanks. It's hard to find 100% cranberry juice that is not a grape juice blend here...I shouldn't talk when it comes to unpopular flavors (tart). I love the bitter. I love white grapefruit juice and I get some comments for that.


----------



## Catubodua

it's already been covered, but since my LO is just under 4 months old i am constantly hearing about him needing "real food". i just reply that he's fine, and we'll figure out the food thing "soon" after we've talked to the doctor. i only add the last bit b/c it seems to shut people up - as in oh, the doctor will set her straight!

i really am amazed at how many people tell me to cut the nipples on his bottles wider and add rice cereal so he'll sleep more. um, he sleeps fine. he wakes up once during the night and for 3 1/2 months old that is awesome. and yet, when people hear he's up once during the night i get these shocked looks and "STILL!!?" comments.


----------



## AFWife

My mother was wondering if she was going to be invited to our next birth. I told her I'm planning a homebirth so it may just be me, DH, DS and the midwives. The rest went like this...

Her: But who's taking DS?

Me: No one. He's going to be here.

Her: You're going to want someone that can take him...it's going to be traumatic. He won't even be 2 years.

Me: He'll be 21 months. Old enough to understand.

Her: It's going to traumatize him.


----------



## smeisnotapirate

AFWife, my 23mo son was at his sister's birth at home - my doula and DH switched off taking care of him, and he was wonderful. Wasn't even scared when I was mooing my head off pushing for 3.5 hours. I think as long as there's an option for him to leave the birthing room with an adult he trusts if he wants to, you can't go wrong.


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Catubodua* 
it's already been covered, but since my LO is just under 4 months old i am constantly hearing about him needing "real food". i just reply that he's fine, and we'll figure out the food thing "soon" after we've talked to the doctor. i only add the last bit b/c it seems to shut people up - as in oh, the doctor will set her straight!

i really am amazed at how many people tell me to cut the nipples on his bottles wider and add rice cereal so he'll sleep more. um, he sleeps fine. he wakes up once during the night and for 3 1/2 months old that is awesome. and yet, when people hear he's up once during the night i get these shocked looks and "STILL!!?" comments.









MIL was the worst about this. She was constantly telling us that DS needed food. Breastmilk couldn't possibly be enough for him (he was 95th percentile in growth in general for MONTHS. He was in 6mo clothing at 3mo...) When he fussed about anything it was obviously because he was hungry. Nursing every hour or two was too much. And if I "ever wanted sleep" I'd give him rice cereal.


----------



## Down2Earth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *beru* 
I know this is a really old post to quote and totally off topic, but I am curious. Kidzaplenty and Sk8ermaiden, do you really drink straight 100% cranberry juice? It is so tart!? Or do you drink "100% juice cranberry"? I have to go to a the health food aisle and pay $5 to $7 for a small bottle of 100% cranberry juice. The "100% juice" stuff in the regular juice aisle is half as cheap and the majority of the "100% juice" is white grape juice. Is that what you are drinking?

I am truly curious because I just think it tastes like medicine (and that's basically what I buy it for).

Oh, I love 100% cranberry juice!







I use to drink it help my bladder. Now if I get a cranberry juice blend it's like a dessert since it is so sweet. But I also love the blends too.









I'm so glad this thread is back!!!


----------



## Catubodua

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AFWife* 
MIL was the worst about this. She was constantly telling us that DS needed food. Breastmilk couldn't possibly be enough for him (he was 95th percentile in growth in general for MONTHS. He was in 6mo clothing at 3mo...) When he fussed about anything it was obviously because he was hungry. Nursing every hour or two was too much. And if I "ever wanted sleep" I'd give him rice cereal.

funny, my MIL is one of the loudest voices about this too. she's told me multiple times about how she started DH on rice cereal at 2 weeks old b/c it was the only way she could get him to sleep at night, meaning all night.


----------



## CallMeMommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AFWife* 
My mother was wondering if she was going to be invited to our next birth. I told her I'm planning a homebirth so it may just be me, DH, DS and the midwives. The rest went like this...

Her: But who's taking DS?

Me: No one. He's going to be here.

Her: You're going to want someone that can take him...it's going to be traumatic. He won't even be 2 years.

Me: He'll be 21 months. Old enough to understand.

Her: It's going to traumatize him.

My mom's giving me the same spiel - "Luke's going to have to come over and spend the night at least once before that baby comes so he gets used to me."

"Uh, why does he need to get used to you?"

"Well he can't be there when that baby's born! He's too little! He'll get traumatized seeing you like that!"

"That's what DH is for."

"DH is going to be too busy with you to worry about the kids, you're not going to want them there."

"That's why I have a doula."

"Well I just think it's stupid, those kids are going to be traumatized."

And on and on and on. All because HER birth experiences lead her to believe this, nevermind they're MY kids and MY birth.


----------



## CallMeMommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
Sara, I am blown away by the untold level of cute that is your son.

I'm going to have to second that.


----------



## VocalMinority

I told my MIL my infant didn't really need bottles of water, that if he was thirsty I'd rather give him more breast milk. She corrected me: she wasn't going to give him *plain* water! He needed food value, calories that would help him grow. So, she was going to put *corn syrup* in his water. For some reason, she just couldn't find any in my cabinets...


----------



## Adallae

Quote:

he wakes up once during the night and for 3 1/2 months old that is awesome. and yet, when people hear he's up once during the night i get these shocked looks and "STILL!!?" comments.
We've moved into an even stranger realm, where people automatically assume DD sleeps through the night because she's going to be a year old. Had this exchange at a wedding last weekend:

Unknown Woman: Your daughter is adorable! How old is she?

Me: Just about a year.

Unknown Woman (with a stern look): And she sleeps through the night, right? In her own room?










You would have thought I had a sign on my forehead that said 'Crazy co-sleeping hippie', and she was trying to 'fix' me.


----------



## Stephenie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *simplemama32* 
My MIL thinks kids should be taught how to play. (No sense in letting their own imagination or creativity have a say!) DS can barely play with a toy...especially something like a puzzle or shape sorter...when she's around because she is *constantly* taking it away from him and saying "No! You do it like this." or "No-no...you're doing it the wrong way. Let Granny show you the 'proper' way to do it."









She also told DS the other day "not to cry because you look so ugly when you cry"...all while making a horrifying face at him and imitating his crying sounds. He is 23 months old, and he was tired, sick, hadn't seen me all day, and he wanted to nurse. I know she was trying to be funny, but it just makes me...









Oh my goodness I think we have the same MIL.
My MIL will get out some stickers and a notebook and make my ds put one sticker per page. "No no, we can't put two stickers on the same page..." Or the last time we were there she wanted him to "finish" a page in the coloring book. "I won't put it on the fridge unless you finish it." As if he cared. He just flipped to the next page, scribbled a bit and the same fight started over. I always want to scream "Quit micromanaging my toddler!" at her. Thankfully we now live 2500 miles away. haha.


----------



## Geist

My mother in law has some funny ones. First off she tells us that we're not respecting our son's humanity because we're still nursing him and we let him run around naked a lot (we EC), then later she tells my husband that you can't reason with toddlers (we explain to him why he can't, eg, turn his dad's computer on and off) and that you really have to treat them kind of like dogs. My husband was like, HUH?
When he was 3 months old she told us that babies get hiccups because they're cold and everytime he hiccuped she would go wrap another blanket around him. Poor baby must have had like 5 blankets on him!


----------



## Goddess's mom

I have been a nanny and a home daycare provider for the last 18 years and people have always been impressed with how well behaved my kids were. So when I got pregnant I had EVERY SINGLE ONE of my friends tell me that I would automatically lose all of my child care skills when it came to my child, like they would be expelled with my placenta.

Are you kidding! I have to keep this one! No way I jettison everything that has worked for the last 18 years on everyone else's kids.

She's lovely BTW. Attitudinous, committed breastfeeder in public, and able to sit through a leisurely meal in a restaurant.


----------



## Wolfcat

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Stephenie* 
Oh my goodness I think we have the same MIL.
My MIL will get out some stickers and a notebook and make my ds put one sticker per page. "No no, we can't put two stickers on the same page..." Or the last time we were there she wanted him to "finish" a page in the coloring book. "I won't put it on the fridge unless you finish it." As if he cared. He just flipped to the next page, scribbled a bit and the same fight started over. I always want to scream "Quit micromanaging my toddler!" at her. Thankfully we now live 2500 miles away. haha.

OMG, that's my MOTHER...

She also gets mad at DS for making a mess in the living room, never mind that SHE gave a 3 yo SPAGHETTI in the living room...


----------



## BarefootScientist

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Geist* 
When he was 3 months old she told us that babies get hiccups because they're cold and everytime he hiccuped she would go wrap another blanket around him. Poor baby must have had like 5 blankets on him!

My parents insist that this is why I always got hiccups as a child, and even as an adult. My mom will come wrap me with a blanket if I get hiccups, seriously.







They claim it helped the hiccups when I was younger...I don't know, but it does usually make me feel more comfortable. Honestly, usually when I get hiccups, I _am_ cold. LOL. Coincidence?


----------



## Geist

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BarefootScientist* 
My parents insist that this is why I always got hiccups as a child, and even as an adult. My mom will come wrap me with a blanket if I get hiccups, seriously.







They claim it helped the hiccups when I was younger...I don't know, but it does usually make me feel more comfortable. Honestly, usually when I get hiccups, I _am_ cold. LOL. Coincidence?









Well, it was 96F here yesterday and DS got the hiccups...so, I guess I should have had him in long sleeve pants and a coat!


----------



## BarefootScientist

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Geist* 
Well, it was 96F here yesterday and DS got the hiccups...so, I guess I should have had him in long sleeve pants and a coat!









I'm not saying warmth prevents hiccups. Just that for me, getting warmer typically makes me feel better, though it doesn't necessarily take the hiccups away. It might be psychological conditioning on my parents' part though.









When DS was about 6 weeks old my grandpa came to visit. 90 degree and up days and he was constantly, and I mean constantly commenting on how cold the baby must be. We don't have AC and I was sweating buckets so I can't see how the baby was possibly cold.







No, he wasn't wearing socks, but come on! It was August!


----------



## Evergreen

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Down2Earth* 
Oh, I love 100% cranberry juice!







I use to drink it help my bladder. Now if I get a cranberry juice blend it's like a dessert since it is so sweet. But I also love the blends too.









I'm so glad this thread is back!!!

Me too. I accidently bought some that wasn't about 4 months ago. I couldn't finish my glass, my husband complained that his teeth felt weird after drinking it, my 7 year old got a stomach ache and my 3 year old acted like we'd given her PCP. I didn't realize how conditioned we are to not having sugar. The bottle is still in the fridge. None of us will touch it.


----------



## peaceful_mama

most of the stupid comments have gone away....either people realize my parenting is just getting *stranger* with each baby and they've given up, or it's because I've stopped discussing certain things with certain people. (homebirthing, breastfeeding far past what anyone around here thinks is typical, BLW, cloth diapers--and the CD's and homebirth were with the THIRD...oh and not vaccinating, not handing out Tylenol like crazy, not buying fake juice and "kid food")

But...a couple months ago, shortly before the conception of Baby The Fourth...someone I well, used to at least, consider a close friend felt it was her place to lecture me on why I should not have another baby EVER. (this is a person who I *thought* knew I always wanted 4..)

I informed her it was DH'S and MY decision. She apologized, but she also has not called back, and her number is disconnected. (I *finally* a couple weeks ago decided I'd see if her daughter--also my good friend--had told her about this one.)
I can't say as I'm too disappointed, I wasn't looking forward to any conversation I might have once the news got out. To top it off, the timing was not at all planned, so it took me a good couple weeks to get my head on straight with this one.

I've decided that it's got a lot more to do with having a conversation with ME that she could not have with another child of HER OWN, who should have just had another baby right now, and is in a far worse position than *I* am to be doing it, from anyone's perspective. (I won't detail it all here.)

OH and I went to a yoga class when I just found out about this babe--my first, and the balancing stuff was a challenge. (especially on my left ankle, the balance has never been quite the same since they pieced it back together.) I told the instructor it wouldn't likely get any better in the next few months--I just found out I'm pregnant. So this other older (than me anyway) lady asks if this is my first or something and I say "no, fourth" to which she says "well, THAT couldn't have been PLANNED..."

as if it's your business, random stranger?
And WHY couldn't someone possibly want a 4th? When you get rid of all that pain and trauma surrounding medicalized birth, and simply DON'T leave your bed at night because you COSLEEP and BREASTFEED...well, it makes it far *easier* to imagine why anyone would have more than 1-2....now doesn't it?


----------



## smeisnotapirate

Quote:


Originally Posted by *peaceful_mama* 







most of the stupid comments have gone away....either people realize my parenting is just getting *stranger* with each baby and they've given up, or it's because I've stopped discussing certain things with certain people. (homebirthing, breastfeeding far past what anyone around here thinks is typical, BLW, cloth diapers--and the CD's and homebirth were with the THIRD...oh and not vaccinating, not handing out Tylenol like crazy, not buying fake juice and "kid food")

Oh GOSH, yes!









Everyone thought I was crazy when I didn't find out the gender. Then I was having DS at a FSBC. They LOVED when I ended up with a c-section.







And then I was breastfeeding him in public and cloth diapering him. And then I got pregnant when he was 14mo (planned). And THEN I announced I was having an HBAC. And I was STILL NURSING A TODDLER THROUGH PREGNANCY.

By the time Nomi was born, people just kinda smiled and patted me on the head. I could say that I was painting my kids blue (and I did, because we had thrush for a while







) and they would just nod and go "oh, well, yes - you would, wouldn't you?"










I think everyone's taking bets on all the weird stuff I'll do with #3 at this point.


----------



## treeoflife3

I've been told I'm depriving my baby by not giving her juice. I've also been told I'm depriving her by not giving her candy. At the time, she wasn't even a year old.... she wasn't even 7 months old. She'd BARELY started solids.. but I'm depriving her? The worse of it was, the candy in question was those willy wonka rope things... with all the little candy pieces? Yes, because my child should totally be eating something like that.

Of course, the same person who told me I was depriving her for not giving her candy ALSO told me it wasn't a big deal that he wanted to jokingly put his beer bottle to her mouth. I said ABSOLUTELY NOT will she even get a taste of beer. He said he wasn't going to tip it for her... besides ALL three of his kids have already been drunk from sneaking drinks from his beer while he wasn't looking! It's FUNNY!

yeah, his youngest at teh time was barely two. Sorry dude that you have absolutely no sense of responsibility while you drink with children around but that doesn't mean I should let my NOT EVEN ONE YEAR OLD have anything to do with beer. Learn how to keep an eye on your drink and your kids and leave mine alone.

Oh my god that still pisses me off. I can't stand him... he is my husband's boss too but you better believe I was physically pushing his hand away with that damn beer. I had to do the same at a later date too when he tried to give her (still not one yet!) a wasabi nut thing. It was a nut. with spicey stuff all over it. ?!?! I know some little ones like spicey but I LOATHE it (seriously, the mild sauce at taco bell might as well be labled UBER SUPER DUPER BURN! I'm so sensitive) but it was a NUT.. that she could CHOKE on... she wasn't even ONE yet!


----------



## jammomma

Recently a friend of mine told me that I needed to bite my son in order to show him that biting is wrong.























She is totally the polar opposite to me when it comes to parenting. She believes all kids need to spanked, hit, and once she even said that a "punch to the chest" shows a kid who is boss. ugh

We used to be closer friends but now that I have a baby, (her son is 20) all our differences have come to light. She didn't Bf, she thinks I am ruining my son because we co-sleep, and that I should be "spanking" him when he is "bad". I told her, I don't need to spank him because he is never bad.

She actually implied my son will turn out to be a serial killer or something because I don't hit him.







I have never once asked her opinion but she offers it up constantly.

Makes me sad that a friendship of over 10 years and I never realized she had such a deep streak of brutality when it comes to children. Needless to say, my son cries anytime she is around and of course I will never and have never left him alone with her for even a split second.

It's sad to see a longtime friendship fade, but our lives are just so different and our beliefs are so vastly different from one another that I just can't see our friendship going anywhere.


----------



## ramlita

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jeannine* 
So, she was going to put *corn syrup* in his water. For some reason, she just couldn't find any in my cabinets...


----------



## laughymama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jammomma* 
Recently a friend of mine told me that I needed to bite my son in order to show him that biting is wrong.























She is totally the polar opposite to me when it comes to parenting. She believes all kids need to spanked, hit, and once she even said that a "punch to the chest" shows a kid who is boss. ugh

We used to be closer friends but now that I have a baby, (her son is 20) all our differences have come to light. She didn't Bf, she thinks I am ruining my son because we co-sleep, and that I should be "spanking" him when he is "bad". I told her, I don't need to spank him because he is never bad.

She actually implied my son will turn out to be a serial killer or something because I don't hit him.







I have never once asked her opinion but she offers it up constantly.

Makes me sad that a friendship of over 10 years and I never realized she had such a deep streak of brutality when it comes to children. Needless to say, my son cries anytime she is around and of course I will never and have never left him alone with her for even a split second.

It's sad to see a longtime friendship fade, but our lives are just so different and our beliefs are so vastly different from one another that I just can't see our friendship going anywhere.

I couldn't read this without offering a








I'm getting to this point a very close friend of mine as well. We've been close since we were 15 and I had no idea we'd differ so much over some things. Now that we're both parents it's been slowly happening and I'm just waiting for it to kind of end.
I hear myself making 'excuses' for DS' behavior when I shouldn't. He's 2. He's going to throw tantrums when he has no other way of expressing his anger or frustration...but they think we should spank him. They don't say it often but there are definitely looks exchanged and eyes rolling.








I think eventually our friendship will fade because there are just too many things that seem to cause issues because of the differences in our lifestyles.

It's hard, mama, I know.


----------



## laughymama

I was recently informed by a family member that breastfeeding the new baby will, without a doubt, confuse DS.
(I didn't nurse him long. Only a couple of weeks.







)

Apparently, seeing the baby "utilize my breasts in such a way"
will only "mix him up" and later in life when he's hitting puberty and finds himself attracted to girls' breasts, he will be traumatized by all that breastfeeding he witnessed me doing and will never be able to enjoy a "proper sex life".









I responded to that one with, "Well DH saw me nurse DS and will see me nursing the new baby...we still enjoy what we think is a proper sex life..."









My family has a REALLY hard time grasping the concept that breasts really can be multi-functional.


----------



## Amatullah0

the other day I was sitting, nursing ds and my dad said "what, not weaned yet"
me: "nope"
my mom: "well, of course not! he's not 5 yet!" (sarcastically)
me: "well, you know, nursing is really good for handling toddler tantrums, or when he does a flip off the bed and hurts himself(like he did the other day







)"

I really dislike the feeling that goes through my body when I'm nursing, and I really don't like it when ds is pinching me, and grabbing me, but when you have a crying baby, hurt, tired, bored, or whatever, they're just the trick! I couldn't imagine NOT nursing at a year old!

cool thing, I found out last week, my mom's dad was breastfed at least until he was 5! He was telling me(this was in scotland) "I would come home from school for lunch, and nurse"









It's amazing how much has changed is such a shot amount of time! I think my mom was probably breastfed, because her mom had 10 children, formula would have been expensive, if even available, but she didn't nurse me or my siblings, and after DS was born, and were visiting us in the hospital(DS in the NICU, and I was pumping) she(and my dad) had told me "why not just give him some enfamil?"


----------



## Amatullah0

its funny kind of, the other day, when I was talking with my mom and dad, we were at a funeral, and there was a mom and her 6month old there. this was an older mom, 35+ maybe. I totally expected her to be FF. then she decided that her ds was hungry, and said, "I'll just go in the other room and feed him, and cover up with the blanket, he hates having it on his face though" :yay I was happily surprised that she was nursing, but a little confused that she was leaving the room(I was sitting in the room we were talking in, and nursing ds, and when I nurse, I don't show ANYTHING. Literally. Only my face hands and feet ever show.) so the fact that she was dressed in a lot less clothing than me, but felt the need to go into another room and put a blanket over her baby's head baffled me a little. especially since I was nursing right there.


----------



## CherryBomb

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jammomma* 
She actually implied my son will turn out to be a serial killer or something because I don't hit him.









I had to go to a training thing where I used to work and the guy running it actually said "look at serial killers, none of them were spanked and see how they turned out!"


----------



## paintedfire

This is from a couple of weeks ago, but I'm working my way through these threads so I thought I'd add it (please bear in mind that I'm pregnant, not a mom yet, so feel free to ignore me







). Pretty much cross-posted from my DDC:

I told my Mom the news by calling the florist that was going to be delivering her Mother's Day flowers and having them change the message on the card to "I hope you're ready to be called Grandma again."

(Long story short: my parent's died within days of each other when I was a child, so my divorced grandparents got a house and raised me together, as a team, but not a couple. So, ever since I was ten - about a year into the new arrangement - I've called them Mom and Dad instead of Grandma and Grandpa, as I had before.)

She's appropriately ecstatic, as I knew she would be and the news pretty much made the rounds all the rest of the family within hours. Well, one of my childhood best friends just got engaged and my Mom was calling to congratulate her and RSVP to the engagement party and told her about my pregnancy.

She was apparently very nice and sounded happy for me when on the phone with my Mom, but she called me a little while later while I was still at work and accused me of trying to steal "her thunder," and then after not letting me get so much as a word in edgewise she told me that it was a good thing that DF and I were already planning on getting married in August because otherwise she could "_never_ learn to love" my "bastard of a baby."

_Queue Mama Bear instincts._









I can honestly say I've never been so angry in my life, but I've also never felt so powerful. I'd only known about my little one for a few days at this point, but already I felt like I could take on anyone who tried to say anything bad about or tried hurt my child without breaking a sweat.

Never mind the fact that she is having her engagement party less than a week after my wedding while I will be on my honeymoon (which she has know about for six months) and started the "conversation" by asking me if I was "absolutely sure" that I couldn't make it *OR* the fact that I counseled her through two major pregnancy scares when we were teenagers (not including one termination that I drove her to, helped to pay for, and then took care of her afterwards because she was terrified of her extremely Mormon family finding out).

(Disclaimer: I am completely pro-choice, and in no way do I mean to disparage ANY decision a woman chooses to make regarding her own body.)

So, let's just say she shouldn't hold her breath waiting for an overpriced wedding gift from me.


----------



## ramlita

Leigh, I just want to add another ecstatic
Congratulations!!






















to your life









People are weird


----------



## crunchy_mommy

paintedfire,









Quote:


Originally Posted by *Amatullah0* 
its funny kind of, the other day, when I was talking with my mom and dad, we were at a funeral, and there was a mom and her 6month old there. this was an older mom, 35+ maybe. I totally expected her to be FF. then she decided that her ds was hungry, and said, "I'll just go in the other room and feed him, and cover up with the blanket, he hates having it on his face though" :yay I was happily surprised that she was nursing, but a little confused that she was leaving the room(I was sitting in the room we were talking in, and nursing ds, and when I nurse, I don't show ANYTHING. Literally. Only my face hands and feet ever show.) so the fact that she was dressed in a lot less clothing than me, but felt the need to go into another room and put a blanket over her baby's head baffled me a little. especially since I was nursing right there.









Haha yeah I don't understand that either. My SIL came to DS's bday party and I was sitting there BF'ing as usual and she went into my bedroom to feed her DS. Come to think of it, the very last time I saw them (last month) was the first time I ever saw her BF... and her son is 9 months old!!! (Can you IMAGINE going to another room to BF every. single. time? I'd go insane!







)


----------



## ramlita

Maybe the new mom didn't even realize she was nursing at the time?

I remember when my kids were nursing, wanting to show the world that it's possible- _easy_- to nurse discreetly and casually, but feeling torn:
If you do it too well, nobody even notices,
but if you draw attention to it... hmmm.


----------



## crunchy_mommy

LOL well it's very obvious with my DS at least... no matter how discreet *I* am, it's hard to miss the jumping toddler going "EAT EAT EAT" and pulling at my shirt.








But I bet you're right in the other poster's scenario, they may not even have noticed she was nursing!!


----------



## InMediasRes

My mother is especially quick with the gender comments.

Me: DS knows so many cars! It's crazy how he can recognize them by sight!
Mom: Well, that's because he's a boy.
Me: Yeah, mom, I'm sure that knowing makes and models of cars is genetic.









and another time:

Me: DS just handed me a live bug.
Mom: Ew! Ew ew ew! I never had to deal with bugs because I had girls.
Me: I'm sure your complete distaste for them had nothing to do with that.
Her: Um....
Me: DD loves bugs. I'll show you a cute video of her chasing a beetle.

And another time:

Me: DS has been a real pill lately. 3yo is HARD work!
Mom: I'm sure DD will be different because she's a girl.
Me: *Absolutely speechless this time*

Ugh, I'm tired of it. I still haven't told her about my DS's love of sparkly shoes and bracelets, and how he insisted on wearing pink underwear for a while. Not after my dad's exclamation of "You're going to make him GAY!" when I showed him a picture of DS carrying my purse at 18mo.

And another person that I've been getting some real gems from, although I think they are mostly coming from her ped. A neighbor friend has a 6mo baby who they have been sleep training for months. She is always telling me how she feels awful leaving the baby to cry for 2 hours at a time at night, but the ped told her she has to do it. She takes things in pretty well, so I've given her my .02 but I just feel so bad for her. I really feel like the best way to help her is to make her a friend and be gentle, but it's been really hard to be nice.

My favorite one she told me about was her ped telling her that because of swine flu and RSV this year, he was advising all his patients to stay home. All winter. So she did.


----------



## sapphire_chan

"doesn't your insurance let you use any other pediatricians? ?"

plus side, I found a second use for a nursing room today. With two kids, a nursing room with toys means you don't have to chase a toddler while trying to nurse. I'll have to remember that trick.

The other cool thing is I nurse in there to reduce distractions and for the comfy chairs, and the mama with the two kids decided to use the couch visible from the door instead of the more hidden rocking chair and I think it was because she saw me with dd and knew it was okay.

as for parenting stupity, if you nurse a walking kid who asks for "nursing? Nursing?" people pretty much give up on thinking they can tell you anything.


----------



## paintedfire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ramlita* 
Leigh, I just want to add another ecstatic
Congratulations!!






















to your life









People are weird









Thank you!







I needed that today.

People _are_ weird. Like, I'm supposed to postpone or cancel my honeymoon (that we've had planned for nearly six months!) for the engagement party that she had just decided to throw herself _three weeks ago_.

A lot of my friends are married and I take being type-A to a new extreme (thanks to my Mom, list-maker extraordinaire) so I've helped to plan about a dozen weddings by now and thankfully none of them could have been labeled with the 'Bridezilla' tag. At least until now, that is.









Oh, well. One less person on my Christmas card list. (Although, I'm Jewish now, so I guess I should say my 'Happy Holidays' card list.







)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *crunchy_mommy* 
paintedfire,









Thanks.







It really hurt right after it happened but it's been nearly three weeks now, I think, so the pain has faded quite considerably. It's just still hard to think that someone you've loved for so long could be so nasty to you, you know?


----------



## TerraNoelle

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
"doesn't your insurance let you use any other pediatricians? ?"

plus side, I found a second use for a nursing room today. With two kids, a nursing room with toys means you don't have to chase a toddler while trying to nurse. I'll have to remember that trick.

The other cool thing is I nurse in there to reduce distractions and for the comfy chairs, and the mama with the two kids decided to use the couch visible from the door instead of the more hidden rocking chair and I think it was because she saw me with dd and knew it was okay.
*
as for parenting stupity, if you nurse a walking kid who asks for "nursing? Nursing?"*

Oh man people would hate it that my almost 2 year old says "nurse on this side", pats me, lifts my shirt, drinks and then runs off to play!









I've had lots of stupid stuff said to me, but my "favorite" is from an "Ezzo loving family"








When my first son was just 8 weeks old she asked if he was STTN and of course I said no, because well, he's a BABY...and she said..."well your not being the parent, you need to take charge and make him."

That made me so sad and still makes me sad that parents treat their children as second class citizens and put them through terrible things like that.


----------



## AFWife

We're visiting family so I have the "normal" list of comments...

- DS should be done nursing by now (he's 13mo AND I'm pregnant)

- GMIL: What are you gonna do with two? You won't spoil the next one like you did this one.

- GMIL: Does DS still sleep with you? "yes" What are you gonna do when the next one gets here?

- SIL: Hopefully you'll have a girl and then you can be done!


----------



## crunchy_mommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AFWife* 
- SIL: Hopefully you'll have a girl and then you can be done!

Yeah what's up with that one? I hear it all the time, "Maybe your next baby will be a girl & you'll be all done," ummm I didn't know the gender of my babies determined the number of siblings they get??? Not to mention I would love for my son to have a brother (or 2, or 3, plus a sister or two...)


----------



## Raine822

I've heard a million-mostly from my toxic mother who has to have things her way. Some are:

1) When DD1 was born my water broke at home. I called the doctor who was to call me back in 15 minutes. Mom kept insisting I had to go to the ER right then because when your water breaks the baby can't take longer than 6 hours to arrive. 28 1/2 hours later DD1 was born.

2) From birth she kept insisting on DDs watching TV ALL DAY to learn. Because a 2 week old can learn ABCs?

3) Car seats don't have to be installed correctly to work.

4) 85+ degrees and DDs have to be bundled in at least 4 layers to be warm?

5) Fruit flavored candy in a plastic cup = fruit cup = healthy


----------



## Amatullah0

Quote:


Originally Posted by *InMediasRes* 
leaving the baby to cry for 2 hours at a time at night,










Quote:


Originally Posted by *InMediasRes* 
My favorite one she told me about was her ped telling her that because of swine flu and RSV this year, he was advising all his patients to stay home. All winter. So she did.


----------



## kitteh

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Angelorum* 
LOL. Adorable picture, though.

this is what my son was wearing that day at the library.

I know this is off topic now, but I LOVE that little cardigan. It looks like something a little old man would wear! I want it.

I posted this somewhere else, but it works for this thread too:
I was recently talking to my mom about how we plan to do extended breastfeeding, and she asked about what happens when they get teeth, if they bite mommy, and what I could do about it. I told her about some things I'd read on here and elsewhere and then she told me that when my brother and I were little she had problems with us biting. "Not me," she said, "but other kids" (She didn't breastfeed my brother and only breastfed me til about 4 months.)

Since I'm a first timer I responded that I didn't even want to think about the challenges that might be in store for us down the road. The "terrible twos" and toddler stuff still kind of terrifies me, since I'm not the most patient woman in the world. I think I said "Gosh, I don't even know what I'd do if my little one was biting other kids! I'd feel horrible! How do you get them to stop?"

And she said

"You bite them back. So they know how it feels"

LOL WTF, MOM?!









And when I laughed about that comment she said "Well not HARD, just enough so they know that it hurts."










So I guess she wasn't joking.


----------



## sapphire_chan

But that does seem to be a popular "discipline" concept. "If I do it to them, they'll know it's bad."

BTW, re: toddlers. Start reading up on them when your LO starts cruising. Early toddlerhood was a lot harder on all of us than it needed to be because I thought I'd have a walking baby for a month or two and instead I had a walking baby for about a week.


----------



## emamum

re the biting stuff.... its just been shown in a popular programme (emmerdale, if you are interested) over here, a toddler bit the womans baby, the woman bit the toddler to show her it hurt/ was wrong.. she was arrested for assault and may go to prson... (i know its not real lol)

sil told mil that its illegal to have a child over 12 months in a rear facing car seat... from the woman whos 9 year old 'doesnt need a booster' ... so now i have my mil on my case and dp paniced so i had to prove it to him!


----------



## Irishmommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *emamum* 
sil told mil that its illegal to have a child over 12 months in a rear facing car seat... from the woman whos 9 year old 'doesnt need a booster' ... so now i have my mil on my case and dp paniced so i had to prove it to him!

I wouldn't. I'd tell them that sil has to prove she's right, rather than you prove you are. Onus on the troublemaker.


----------



## Down2Earth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 







But that does seem to be a popular "discipline" concept. "If I do it to them, they'll know it's bad."

BTW, re: toddlers. Start reading up on them when your LO starts cruising. Early toddlerhood was a lot harder on all of us than it needed to be because I thought I'd have a walking baby for a month or two and instead I had a walking baby for about a week.

A little OT, but what books would you recommend for early toddlerhood?


----------



## AFWife

Dh's most recent comeback:

FIL: When are you going to turn DS around the right way? (we still RF at 13mo *gasp*)
DH: He IS turned around the right way.


----------



## butterfly_mommy

Ok so here is one from my loopy 89 year old grandmother who is obsessed with the fact that I am still nursing DS at 2 yrs 4 mons.

GM "I bet your the only mother who nursed this long"


----------



## neverdoingitagain

Speaking of nursing, my MIL and mother both ambushed me after I gave birth to tell me some horror stories about breastfeeding.
Not your usual fare either. both of them warned to make sure I wore a sweater AT ALL TIMES! Because apparently, if my chest is uncovered and the wind hits it, my milk will FREEZE IN MY CHEST. My mother went to tell about one woman this happened to, and how she ended up in the hospital with a severe infection. My MIL chimed in about how her aunt had her left breast cut in half because her milk was frozen solid in her breast.








I think I just smiled and nodded. I wore a sweater around them outside for a little bit, but gave up after awhile. It was too ridiculous.


----------



## pear-shaped

I just remembered one that I heard a while ago.

My dh's aunt was holding dd, who was getting fussy, so I told her it was time for dd to nurse. I waited a few seconds for her to hand her over, but she didn't, so I told her to give dd to me and repeated that it was time for her to nurse. Then dh's aunt said that didn't hand dd over right away because she was waiting for me to go and sterilize my breasts first!









This was back when dd was starting solids and this aunt was always trying to give her unwashed produce, saying that there was nothing harmful on it because it was from her garden. So unwashed fruit and veg was okay, but unwashed boobs not.


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pear-shaped* 
My dh's aunt was holding dd, who was getting fussy, so I told her it was time for dd to nurse. I waited a few seconds for her to hand her over, but she didn't, so I told her to give dd to me and repeated that it was time for her to nurse. Then dh's aunt said that didn't hand dd over right away because she was waiting for me to go and sterilize my breasts first!









That reminds me... When BIL2 was an infant he got sick and was put on antibiotics. He ended up getting thrush. When MIL took him to the hospital for it the nurses made her feel HORRIBLE about it and told her that he got thrush because SHE obviously didn't wash her hands after using the bathroom and didn't wash her breasts before and after nursing. Seriously? She figured out (on her own) later that it was the antibiotics and not her hygiene.


----------



## texmati

Quote:


Originally Posted by *neverdoingitagain* 
Speaking of nursing, my MIL and mother both ambushed me after I gave birth to tell me some horror stories about breastfeeding.
Not your usual fare either. both of them warned to make sure I wore a sweater AT ALL TIMES! Because apparently, if my chest is uncovered and the wind hits it, my milk will FREEZE IN MY CHEST. My mother went to tell about one woman this happened to, and how she ended up in the hospital with a severe infection. My MIL chimed in about how her aunt had her left breast cut in half because her milk was frozen solid in her breast.








I think I just smiled and nodded. I wore a sweater around them outside for a little bit, but gave up after awhile. It was too ridiculous.

hil.ar.i.ous!!!!!!!!!


----------



## InMediasRes

Quote:


Originally Posted by *neverdoingitagain* 
Speaking of nursing, my MIL and mother both ambushed me after I gave birth to tell me some horror stories about breastfeeding.
Not your usual fare either. both of them warned to make sure I wore a sweater AT ALL TIMES! Because apparently, if my chest is uncovered and the wind hits it, my milk will FREEZE IN MY CHEST. My mother went to tell about one woman this happened to, and how she ended up in the hospital with a severe infection. My MIL chimed in about how her aunt had her left breast cut in half because her milk was frozen solid in her breast.








I think I just smiled and nodded. I wore a sweater around them outside for a little bit, but gave up after awhile. It was too ridiculous.

Wow, you win the prize! That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in my life!


----------



## KristyDi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *butterfly_mommy* 
Ok so here is one from my loopy 89 year old grandmother who is obsessed with the fact that I am still nursing DS at 2 yrs 4 mons.

GM "I bet your the only mother who nursed this long"









If you really want to rock her world you could show her the news piece of youtube about the mom in the UK nursing her 8 year old.









Course that might not be the best way to make her think extended nursing is normal.


----------



## Awaken

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AFWife* 
That reminds me... When BIL2 was an infant he got sick and was put on antibiotics. He ended up getting thrush. When MIL took him to the hospital for it the nurses made her feel HORRIBLE about it and told her that he got thrush because SHE obviously didn't wash her hands after using the bathroom and didn't wash her breasts before and after nursing. Seriously? She figured out (on her own) later that it was the antibiotics and not her hygiene.

Oh, that is so sad!


----------



## Awaken

well, I can tell you that by the 3rd kid, most of those comments about nursing, starting solids, vaccines, etc don't bother you anymore







I really couldn't care less what anyone thinks, and no one even asks.

But anyway, I've been getting so many annoying babywearing comments just in the past week or so. The produce stocker in the grocery store told me I'd better support her head in the mei tai. Then another day, the cashier told me she was so uncomfortable in the ergo, she really wanted to get out (like she knows better than I do! Thanks lady, I hadn't realized!). In the bookstore someone asked me if I was sure she was breathing (in the ergo, not even deep inside a sling or anything!) And today we were walking with her on my back, and a random stranger came up and said "are you sure that baby is ok?"

I do appreciate their concern- there is not enough of speaking up for the safety of children, IMO- but it makes me sad that people are so concerned when they see a baby snuggled with it's mama the way it's been done since people have been alive, yet carrying it around in a plastic bucket is totally normal and no one thinks twice if the baby is ok in there. (No, I'm not totally against buckets, they do serve a purpose but YKWIM)

sigh.


----------



## Comtessa

Somebody walked past me at a street fair last weekend while I was adjusting my sleeping toddler's head in the sling, and she frowned at me and said, "be _careful!"_







Like I can't walk and hold my baby at the same time without being admonished.


----------



## kriket

Quote:


Originally Posted by *butterfly_mommy* 
GM "I bet your the only mother who nursed this long"









Backstory: MIL commented that I can't breastfeed until the "end of time" I just smiled.

A few months back DH was asking about how long moms can stay on WIC. I said something along the lines of "As long as they breastfeed" not thinking he was talking about ME.
His reply was, "So you are getting the breastfeeding package until the end of time?"
Me: No, They cut you off at a year.
DH: Too bad, I bet it would only be you on the eternity package.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Awaken* 
The produce stocker in the grocery store told me I'd better support her head in the mei tai.

We must shop at the same store. There is a bag boy at my grocery who was almost yelling at me that DS might fall and my ring sling wasn't a safe place for a baby.







DS likes to ride in the cart now, so I don't get as much grief.


----------



## frontierpsych

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
Is your sister partnered or going to be a single parent? Because from what I've seen of single mamas, that's a TOUGH job no matter how old you are. And if your sister doesn't have a partner who will step up to the plate and do all the things your dh has done, then your sis will have a much much harder time than you.

Of course, I'm assuming your mom was speaking as your sister's mom and not as a judging stranger.

No, she's partnered, and living with her boyfriend, my mom is just weird.


----------



## St. Margaret

Quote:


Originally Posted by *neverdoingitagain* 
Speaking of nursing, my MIL and mother both ambushed me after I gave birth to tell me some horror stories about breastfeeding.
Not your usual fare either. both of them warned to make sure I wore a sweater AT ALL TIMES! Because apparently, if my chest is uncovered and the wind hits it, my milk will FREEZE IN MY CHEST. My mother went to tell about one woman this happened to, and how she ended up in the hospital with a severe infection. My MIL chimed in about how her aunt had her left breast cut in half because her milk was frozen solid in her breast.








I think I just smiled and nodded. I wore a sweater around them outside for a little bit, but gave up after awhile. It was too ridiculous.









THAT takes the cake! Just like how our blood freezes when we're just walking around out in the regular cold. Yuh-UH.


----------



## northcountrymamma

when dd was 6mo, hanging out in her sling while I was making dinner...

my aunt: how long do you plan on "babying" that child

my mom: probably as long as she is a BABY!

i love having a supportive mamma!


----------



## seim.ge

I was told to spank my son when he was a month old to "cure" him of crying. He wasn't crying all the time, mind you; maybe 15-20 mins a day, total. He would fuss about diaper changes and if he was hungry and that was about it, but this one friend of mine was convinced that I was setting myself up to have a monster child if I didn't nip that in the bud! (...she and I don't talk anymore.)

My (least) favorite was on the playground recently, my son was playing in the sand pit with a little boy. They found a bucket and a old broken shovel buried in the sand and were happily taking turns holding the bucket and filling the bucket with sand...bear in mind that both boys were near their 2nd birthdays and had not had any adult help in setting this little game up! The grandfather of the other little boy observed them playing for awhile and then, in a fit of frustration, darted across the playground yelling for them to stop: "You are doing it all wrong! You have to put the bucket on the ground or you'll spill sand on your clothes! Here, let me show you!" He took the bucket away from them, sat it on the ground, then took the shovel away and started filling the bucket himself, the "right" way. Because apparently it's okay to sit inside the sandpit, you just can't...get...sandy.







His grandson waited patiently for a little while, then tried to take the bucket away. The grandfather just lost it and started yelling at this kid: "What is wrong with you? Why can't you learn to share?" The little boy started crying.

My son observed all of this, then shrugged, walked up to the grandfather very intentionally and kicked the bucket over, spilling the sand (in the sand box). Then he walked over to me and took my hand to lead me to a different, presumably more amicable part of the playground. The grandfather started freaking out as we walked away and actually tried to tell me that I couldn't let my kid leave the sandbox without making MY KID clean up all the sand he'd just spilled, because he obviously had an "attitude problem" that needed "adjusting." I had to bite my tongue to keep myself from saying, "Kicking the bucket is a blast, you should try it sometime!"


----------



## neverdoingitagain

Quote:


Originally Posted by *seim.ge* 
I was told to spank my son when he was a month old to "cure" him of crying. He wasn't crying all the time, mind you; maybe 15-20 mins a day, total. He would fuss about diaper changes and if he was hungry and that was about it, but this one friend of mine was convinced that I was setting myself up to have a monster child if I didn't nip that in the bud! (...she and I don't talk anymore.)

My (least) favorite was on the playground recently, my son was playing in the sand pit with a little boy. They found a bucket and a old broken shovel buried in the sand and were happily taking turns holding the bucket and filling the bucket with sand...bear in mind that both boys were near their 2nd birthdays and had not had any adult help in setting this little game up! The grandfather of the other little boy observed them playing for awhile and then, in a fit of frustration, darted across the playground yelling for them to stop: "You are doing it all wrong! You have to put the bucket on the ground or you'll spill sand on your clothes! Here, let me show you!" He took the bucket away from them, sat it on the ground, then took the shovel away and started filling the bucket himself, the "right" way. Because apparently it's okay to sit inside the sandpit, you just can't...get...sandy.







His grandson waited patiently for a little while, then tried to take the bucket away. The grandfather just lost it and started yelling at this kid: "What is wrong with you? Why can't you learn to share?" The little boy started crying.

My son observed all of this, then shrugged, walked up to the grandfather very intentionally and kicked the bucket over, spilling the sand (in the sand box). Then he walked over to me and took my hand to lead me to a different, presumably more amicable part of the playground. The grandfather started freaking out as we walked away and actually tried to tell me that I couldn't let my kid leave the sandbox without making MY KID clean up all the sand he'd just spilled, because he obviously had an "attitude problem" that needed "adjusting." I had to bite my tongue to keep myself from saying, "Kicking the bucket is a blast, you should try it sometime!"
























Your son sounds like a pistol


----------



## seim.ge

Quote:


Originally Posted by *neverdoingitagain* 














Your son sounds like a pistol










Yeah, he's my little Irish/German redhead. He'll be two in August and he's already totally confrontational, loud and proud, doesn't take nonsense from anyone...it's hilarious and scary at the same time.


----------



## Amatullah0

Quote:


Originally Posted by *seim.ge* 
"Kicking the bucket is a blast, you should try it sometime!"































that would have been TOO funny!









and, your son sounds too cute! I would be so proud of him for not freaking out that the old man stole his bucket and wouldn't share it with him and his new friend!


----------



## minkajane

Somebody in one of my classes tonight commented that her one MONTH old granddaughter was "So spoiled it's disgusting" because she cried when she set her down.


----------



## butterfly_mommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
Somebody in one of my classes tonight commented that her one MONTH old granddaughter was "So spoiled it's disgusting" because she cried when she set her down.

That makes me want to uke


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
Somebody in one of my classes tonight commented that her one MONTH old granddaughter was "So spoiled it's disgusting" because she cried when she set her down.

So stop putting her down...


----------



## MommatoAandA

I had a friend ask me "How can you leave your baby for overnights with your mom for a break when you are breastfeeding?"

UMMM YOU DON'T! LOL Being a mom means YOU are responsible for them.


----------



## Amatullah0

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommatoAandA* 
I had a friend ask me "How can you leave your baby for overnights with your mom for a break when you are breastfeeding?"

UMMM YOU DON'T! LOL Being a mom means YOU are responsible for them.

















I know someone who is kinda like that, her mom is basically raising her kid. I just cant understand why people think its not their responsibility to raise their own kids!


----------



## Comtessa

I was on the playground with DD the other day, and there was a father there pushing his toddler on the swing next to hers. We started chatting, which I quickly regretted because his language was so casually foul it was appalling. Every word was f* this and f* that - and it was like it was so common he didn't even realize it. I wanted to put my hands over both little girls' ears. After a minute of this, he said to his little girl, "come on, it's time to go," and she shook her head complaining that she didn't want to leave. He pulled her out of the swing anyway, which she didn't resist, and then said to me in disgust, "she's so spoiled." I said to him, "ummm no, she's not spoiled, she's _two_." Why do people think that normal child behavior (like a toddler resisting leaving the playground, or for heaven's sake, an infant crying when she's hungry) suggests that they're "spoiled"? What on earth is a "non-spoiled" child supposed to be like???


----------



## gbailey

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Comtessa* 
I was on the playground with DD the other day, and there was a father there pushing his toddler on the swing next to hers. We started chatting, which I quickly regretted because his language was so casually foul it was appalling. Every word was f* this and f* that - and it was like it was so common he didn't even realize it. I wanted to put my hands over both little girls' ears. After a minute of this, he said to his little girl, "come on, it's time to go," and she shook her head complaining that she didn't want to leave. He pulled her out of the swing anyway, which she didn't resist, and then said to me in disgust, "she's so spoiled." I said to him, "ummm no, she's not spoiled, she's _two_." Why do people think that normal child behavior (like a toddler resisting leaving the playground, or for heaven's sake, an infant crying when she's hungry) suggests that they're "spoiled"? What on earth is a "non-spoiled" child supposed to be like???

Non-spoiled children don't cry, whine, always eat what's on their plate, wake up when the parents want them to, sleep when the parents want them too, never has a temper tantrum and never makes a mess. They also agree with everything the parent wants to do. LOL


----------



## gbailey

A woman on the bus told me how cute DD is but asked me why her ears aren't pierced. I told her I thought she was too young.

Her response? "It hurts when you wait to get it done." I told her it hurts when they're babies too. She told me DD would be prettier with earrings in her ear to show off her face


----------



## Amatullah0

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gbailey* 
Her response? "It hurts when you wait to get it done."

sounds a lot like the circ argument!







as if babies can't feel pain. why do you think they cry?

(to clarify, we do circ, for religious reasons, but that doesn't stop me from realizing a lot of the other reasons for circing are ridiculous)


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gbailey* 
Non-spoiled children don't cry, whine, always eat what's on their plate, wake up when the parents want them to, sleep when the parents want them too, never has a temper tantrum and never makes a mess. They also agree with everything the parent wants to do. LOL

And live in the Tanner Household (Full House )


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AFWife* 
And live in the Tanner Household (Full House )









: nope, those weren't "unspoiled" children either.

Here, let me find a picture of an "unspoiled" child for you...
here we are.


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 







: nope, those weren't "unspoiled" children either.

Here, let me find a picture of an "unspoiled" child for you...
here we are.

Wait, you can buy perfect children at the store??? WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME THIS?!?


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AFWife* 
Wait, you can buy perfect children at the store??? WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME THIS?!?









: not "at the store"--special order!

Most of the dolls at the store are capable of becoming spoiled children--they have mouths.


----------



## KristyDi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gbailey* 
A woman on the bus told me how cute DD is but asked me why her ears aren't pierced. I told her I thought she was too young.

Her response? "It hurts when you wait to get it done." I told her it hurts when they're babies too. *She told me DD would be prettier with earrings in her ear to show off her face*









"I think her face is perfectly beautiful with out artificial enhancements."

I think it's utterly absurd to say that children are less pretty without jewelery.


----------



## witchygrrl

I almost never see babes with earrings, and then tonight I saw two kids with them from different families! I don't understand why babies need earrings at all. Oy.


----------



## PatienceAndLove

xP took DD to get her ears pierced about a year ago (she was 4 at the time). Well, it hurt so bad, she wouldn't let them do the other ear, or even touch her.
She comes back to me with one ear pierced, and no cleaning solution. *sigh*
Fast forward 2 hours to our arrival at home. It takes me and my mom to hold her down to clean the piercing site. It is bubbling like crazy (all we had was peroxide), which is what I expected. And she is screaming bloody murder. I felt terrible, but followed through with all the proper cleaning stuff- spinning the earring, cleaning front and back, etc. Well, in attempting to spin the earring, i find that it's on really tight. And that the back of her ear is RED. Awesome. Call the doctor and take her in. It's infected (surprise!). We get a scrip for oral antibiotic, and an antibiotic liquid to cleanse the area. We also get instructions to remove the earring. At home. (thanks Doc!)
Fast forward to my mother and I holding her down, yet again, to remove the earring. We finally get it out and there is just pus everywhere. Oozing out of the piercing, on the earring and back. It was nasty. I got her cleaned up, then onto the sofa with a dish of ice cream and WordWorld on.

Long story short- her father yells at me and tells me i am turning her into a **** because her hair is cut short and i removed the earrings. He is, of course, ignoring the fact that she hates to have her hair combed or pulled back, and the danged piercing was infected!

And that is about the only story I have regarding something stupid someone said about my parenting.


----------



## Maluhia

Aloha all.....a quick reminder that while these "worst thing" threads are fun and a chance to laugh and vent with your MDC ladies, we do need to keep the User Agreement in mind and avoid namecalling and the like.

an example:
That comment was quite stupid, I mean I can only nurse two children at the same moment. IS OKAY
That woman was a really stupid, does she see that I can only nurse two children at the same moment? IS NOT, as it is name calling.


----------



## Wolfcat

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gbailey* 
Non-spoiled children don't cry, whine, always eat what's on their plate, wake up when the parents want them to, sleep when the parents want them too, never has a temper tantrum and never makes a mess. They also agree with everything the parent wants to do. LOL

The Stepford Children??


----------



## Wolfcat

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 







: nope, those weren't "unspoiled" children either.

Here, let me find a picture of an "unspoiled" child for you...
here we are.

It doesn't have a mouth... Wait! That's it! The secret to perfect children is to remove their mouths...


----------



## Stephenie

"Why does she (my white dd) have a black baby doll?"

Me: "Because babies come in all colors...."


----------



## smeisnotapirate

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Stephenie* 
"Why does she (my white dd) have a black baby doll?"

Me: "Because babies come in all colors...."









OH, I got something very similar when I got my DS an Asian girl baby doll. I got the typical "why does a boy need a baby doll???" and then a really strange "were there no WHITE baby dolls?" I said no, that DS wanted the Asian girl, so that's what he got. Was then told that I should exercise my authority as a parent to "prevent THAT from ever happening again."









Prevent what from happening again - my son making his own choices and learning a teeny bit about diversity in the process????


----------



## Kelly1101

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 
OH, I got something very similar when I got my DS an Asian girl baby doll. I got the typical "why does a boy need a baby doll???" and then a really strange "were there no WHITE baby dolls?" I said no, that DS wanted the Asian girl, so that's what he got. Was then told that I should exercise my authority as a parent to "prevent THAT from ever happening again."









Prevent what from happening again - my son making his own choices and learning a teeny bit about diversity in the process????

ROTFL wow that's weird. Seriously someone said you should PREVENT your child from picking out the doll they want, because god forbid he choose one not his ethnicity? Yes, the horrors of that happening, it will ruin his life.


----------



## Kelly1101

Quote:


Originally Posted by *neverdoingitagain* 
Speaking of nursing, my MIL and mother both ambushed me after I gave birth to tell me some horror stories about breastfeeding.
Not your usual fare either. both of them warned to make sure I wore a sweater AT ALL TIMES! Because apparently, if my chest is uncovered and the wind hits it, my milk will FREEZE IN MY CHEST. My mother went to tell about one woman this happened to, and how she ended up in the hospital with a severe infection. My MIL chimed in about how her aunt had her left breast cut in half because her milk was frozen solid in her breast.








I think I just smiled and nodded. I wore a sweater around them outside for a little bit, but gave up after awhile. It was too ridiculous.

AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I literally LOL'ed at this one. That's so fantastic. I know I would burst out laughing in the face of someone who said that to me. I had no idea that nursing turned part of your body into a freezer instead of it being the temperature of the rest of your body!


----------



## Baby~Braatens~Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2xy* 
My BIL (who is DH's brother, and DH is not my kids' dad, so he is no relation to my kids) asked me (randomly and without provocation) *what gives me the right to homeschool my children*...?

Unfortunately, I work with this buffoon. And he is extremely arrogant and judgmental in many ways...this is just one of them, I guess.

I just looked at him and flatly said, "The Constitution."

He didn't say anything else about it after that.


----------



## St. Margaret

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kelly1101* 
ROTFL wow that's weird. Seriously someone said you should PREVENT your child from picking out the doll they want, because god forbid he choose one not his ethnicity? Yes, the horrors of that happening, it will ruin his life.

So weird... well, not really, it just shows how strong racism still is. DD's first real doll is a dark brown skinned Waldorf cuddlebaby. They almost didn't offer her to us at the library one time when we lost her. We went to the lost and found, hoping she'd be there... I described her as being red velvety with a red hood... and was told nothing. Only when I said she's black did they go OH well yeah we've got that one. Whatever!


----------



## neverdoingitagain

Thank you, I thought it was pretty damn amusing too.
To give them some credit, they quickly realized after a couple months that it was a crock and didn't say anything about it EVER AGAIN.







Actually, I spent so much time doling out tidbits of breastfeeding info that my MIL(because she lived nearby) became very vocal about her support. She rocked















My mother, on the other hand, got from both of her daughters







She quickly became an advocate and a supporter. Gotta love the old







system


----------



## neverdoingitagain

Quote:


Originally Posted by *St. Margaret* 
So weird... well, not really, it just shows how strong racism still is. DD's first real doll is a dark brown skinned Waldorf cuddlebaby. They almost didn't offer her to us at the library one time when we lost her. We went to the lost and found, hoping she'd be there... I described her as being red velvety with a red hood... and was told nothing. Only when I said she's black did they go OH well yeah we've got that one. Whatever!









It hurts my heart to hear stuff like that. I know that we've come so far, but still not far enough.


----------



## mjol

She is a nurse..... just to clarify and to make you wonder

1. Babies like to be left alone (as she places 1 week old in the farthest corner of house) away from me or my DH and horrified we would follow and continue to cuddle wee baby
2. She/he is 9 months old shouldn't they be getting milk already?
3. you can smother your baby if you let them sleep in the same bed with you... it happens all the time...

but the one I hear the most that drives me crazy-

"put a hat on the baby or they will catch a cold!"


----------



## Kelly1101

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mjol* 
She is a nurse..... just to clarify and to make you wonder

"put a hat on the baby or they will catch a cold!"

I'm not a nurse, but I thought that colds are spread through germs?


----------



## BarefootScientist

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 
OH, I got something very similar when I got my DS an Asian girl baby doll. I got the typical "why does a boy need a baby doll???" and then a really strange "were there no WHITE baby dolls?" I said no, that DS wanted the Asian girl, so that's what he got. Was then told that I should exercise my authority as a parent to "prevent THAT from ever happening again."









Prevent what from happening again - my son making his own choices and learning a teeny bit about diversity in the process????

WOW. That is just unbelievable.
















Although it does make me want to go get my DS a Asian baby doll to see what type of reactions I get...then again maybe i don't want to know.


----------



## Adallae

Quote:

"put a hat on the baby or they will catch a cold!"
I've had several older woman walk up to me and tell me that DD was cold because she didn't have a hat on, no matter the temperature outside. Fascinates me that they can tell she's cold from across the room (or parking lot!) but the parent holding her doesn't have a clue...









Same with the people who inform me DD is hot and/or uncomfortable when she's in her carrier.


----------



## Kelly1101

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Adallae* 
Same with the people who inform me DD is hot and/or uncomfortable when she's in her carrier.

That doesn't bother me because I have no problem correcting nosy people, loudly and firmly.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Adallae* 
I've had several older woman walk up to me and tell me that DD was cold because she didn't have a hat on, no matter the temperature outside. Fascinates me that they can tell she's cold from across the room (or parking lot!) but the parent holding her doesn't have a clue...









Same with the people who inform me DD is hot and/or uncomfortable when she's in her carrier.

Therefore, if all those people are correct, babies are only comfortable and at a safe temperature if you carry them in a hat with a baby carrier draped over their head.


----------



## sapphire_chan

The really sad thing about the people making mean remarks about kids with dolls of a race different than theirs is, what does it say about how they feel about mixed race adoptions and marriages??

One of dd's dollies is of color (probably AA, but the hair makes it hard to be sure) one is white. If someone comments rudely, I plan to look at them like they're being silly and say very slowly "you do know that she didn't actually give birth to dolls, right? She also cuddles a giraffe with a bell in it's tummy and a zebra filled with beans."


----------



## Kelly1101

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
One of dd's dollies is of color (probably AA, but the hair makes it hard to be sure) one is white. If someone comments rudely, I plan to look at them like they're being silly and say very slowly "you do know that she didn't actually give birth to dolls, right? She also cuddles a giraffe with a bell in it's tummy and a zebra filled with beans."

ROTFL! Too funny.


----------



## InMediasRes

Argh, the racist comments make me mad!

I am getting really really tired of all the gender propoganda being thrown at us. My parents love to buy my DD purses and baby dolls (she's 16mo) and then they get angry when DS wants to carry a purse around. DS is very interested in girly things right now. I took him to look at shoes the other day and he LOVED some gold and sparkly flip flops. The sales lady came over and said "You know, we do HAVE boy shoes." I said "I know, he likes the sparkly ones. Thank you!" And she walked away in a huff.

Today he was wearing a neighbor girls' flowery flip flops around (she is 8 and just dotes on both my kids). Her younger sister was yelling at him "STOP! YOU CAN'T WEAR THOSE SHOES! THEY ARE FOR GIIIIIIIRRRRLLLLLSSSS!" I thought she was going to break down, she was so upset about it. I said "Your sister said he can wear them. He likes them. And they fit him just fine, so why are they just for girls?" and she said "Because they're for girls." Best. logic. ever.


----------



## Kelly1101

Quote:


Originally Posted by *InMediasRes* 
The sales lady came over and said "You know, we do HAVE boy shoes." I said "I know, he likes the sparkly ones. Thank you!" And she walked away in a huff.


----------



## peaceful_mama

you know even my DH has stopped with the negative baby-doll comments. I think the "well he *might* be a DADDY some day" kind of shut him up. (that and we now have a dd too...so I guess there's an 'excuse' to have them around?)

The children in question are tan, with brown eyes and curly brown hair. We currently have a couple white dolls, and ONE cabbage patch I found that actually has curly brown hair, complexion similar to DD's and the brown eyes. Also a newborn with no hair but "matched" to them. Why? well, because you can't find tan baby dolls with curls. Even a lot of the dark-skinned AA baby dolls have straight hair.

WHY, doll people, would I want to buy my child this and start her thinking 'straight hair is better hair?' grrr...

(there *is* more diversity in the little people collection in our house...need to work on the babies maybe. I just have a 'thing' about the ones that look like they've got the chemically straight hair....)


----------



## Arianwen1174

Quote:


Originally Posted by *crunchy_mommy* 
Haha yeah I don't understand that either. My SIL came to DS's bday party and I was sitting there BF'ing as usual and she went into my bedroom to feed her DS. Come to think of it, the very last time I saw them (last month) was the first time I ever saw her BF... and her son is 9 months old!!! (Can you IMAGINE going to another room to BF every. single. time? I'd go insane!







)

When DS1 was a couple months old (he's 20 now!) my grandmother wondered how on earth I managed to never nurse him when we were around her. He was nursing when she asked that! I just lifted my shirt a little and she got it.


----------



## Kelly1101

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Arianwen1174* 
When DS1 was a couple months old (he's 20 now!) my grandmother wondered how on earth I managed to never nurse him when we were around her. He was nursing when she asked that! I just lifted my shirt a little and she got it.









Hahaha!


----------



## neverdoingitagain

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Arianwen1174* 
When DS1 was a couple months old (he's 20 now!) my grandmother wondered how on earth I managed to never nurse him when we were around her. He was nursing when she asked that! I just lifted my shirt a little and she got it.
























awesome


----------



## Down2Earth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *peaceful_mama* 
you know even my DH has stopped with the negative baby-doll comments. I think the "well he *might* be a DADDY some day" kind of shut him up. (that and we now have a dd too...so I guess there's an 'excuse' to have them around?)

The children in question are tan, with brown eyes and curly brown hair. We currently have a couple white dolls, and ONE cabbage patch I found that actually has curly brown hair, complexion similar to DD's and the brown eyes. Also a newborn with no hair but "matched" to them. Why? well, because you can't find tan baby dolls with curls. Even a lot of the dark-skinned AA baby dolls have straight hair.

WHY, doll people, would I want to buy my child this and start her thinking 'straight hair is better hair?' grrr...

(there *is* more diversity in the little people collection in our house...need to work on the babies maybe. I just have a 'thing' about the ones that look like they've got the chemically straight hair....)

I remember being sad as a kid because all of the "pretty" dolls had curly blond hair and my hair was very brown and straight. I'm just glad that you can get dolls with brown hair now.


----------



## 2boyzmama

When my son had strep throat (lab confirmed strep, 104 fever, had been laying on the couch whimpering for days) my MIL said "blow the hair drier down his throat. It will kill the germs by over heating them. Then you don't have to go to the dr."

WTF???

My kids are late teethers, I've had some comments about how they can't eat until they have teeth, so what in the world do I feed them?









This one still really angers me...my middle son is special needs, and for a variety of reasons he uses sign language to communicate. My MIL (who does not live near us, so we see a few times a year) saw me signing with him, we finished our conversation and he wandered off to play. She said "wow, so it's like you're actually talking to each other?!" No, we ARE talking to each other, it's not "like" we're talking to each other. It's a flipping language, it's HIS language! If you could be bothered to learn it you'd know.


----------



## DoulaVallere

Wow, just read through this whole thing...unbelievable!

The one I got most recently was from MIL. We had planned to keep the "homebirth" aspect of this baby's entrance a secret until after she was born because DH nor I wanted to deal with the commentary that we KNEW would go along with it. But ...she ended up asking me straight out where the baby was going to be born, and I wasn't going to lie to her, so I told her at home. Her eyes got really big and she asked if I was joking, and then realized I wasn't. So I quickly reassured her that we would have a CNM, just like we did at the birth center for both the boys, and that she would have ALL the same equipment that they had at the birth center, and the ONLY difference would be that SHE would drive to ME when labor started, instead of me driving somewhere.

Her response?

"But...what if she's BREACH?!"

Cuz, you know, you can't figure something like that out ahead of time...


----------



## jenP

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Stephenie* 
"Why does she (my white dd) have a black baby doll?"

Me: "Because babies come in all colors...."









I've answered that same question with a matter-of-fact, "Because her husband is Black."

Jen


----------



## Wolfcat

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kelly1101* 
I'm not a nurse, but I thought that colds are spread through germs?

That's a dirty, dirty lie... everyone KNOWS it's called a "cold" cuz that's the temperature you are at when you get it...









Quote:


Originally Posted by *InMediasRes* 
I am getting really really tired of all the gender propoganda being thrown at us. My parents love to buy my DD purses and baby dolls (she's 16mo) and then they get angry when DS wants to carry a purse around. DS is very interested in girly things right now. I took him to look at shoes the other day and he LOVED some gold and sparkly flip flops. The sales lady came over and said "You know, we do HAVE boy shoes." I said "I know, he likes the sparkly ones. Thank you!" And she walked away in a huff.

I know, right? It's like with all the violence going on, we shouldn't cultivate nurturing in ALL our children, regardless of their sex/gender.









Fortunately, I've managed to convinced both my parents of the wrongness of DS not having dolls... he now has two baby dolls.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *2boyzmama* 
When my son had strep throat (lab confirmed strep, 104 fever, had been laying on the couch whimpering for days) my MIL said "blow the hair drier down his throat. It will kill the germs by over heating them. Then you don't have to go to the dr."

My kids are late teethers, I've had some comments about how they can't eat until they have teeth, so what in the world do I feed them?









This one still really angers me...my middle son is special needs, and for a variety of reasons he uses sign language to communicate. My MIL (who does not live near us, so we see a few times a year) saw me signing with him, we finished our conversation and he wandered off to play. She said "wow, so it's like you're actually talking to each other?!" No, we ARE talking to each other, it's not "like" we're talking to each other. It's a flipping language, it's HIS language! If you could be bothered to learn it you'd know.









I'm so glad people without medical degrees (and who apparently don't think things through before they open their mouths) are giving advice on treating illnesses...









I think you feed them mama-milk and, um, FOOD...









You mean, if people communicate in a way that I don't understand, they are still intelligent people? No way!!


----------



## Raine822

Just had a new one. 82 degrees outside and the "put a hat on that baby" has started. I politely explained to the person that doctors now recommend not keeping a baby too hot. She explained..."you don't put a hat on her for warmth, it's because if wind gets in her ears she will get an ear infection."

And here I thought ear infections were caused by fluid and bacteria.


----------



## dancindoula

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Raine822* 
Just had a new one. 82 degrees outside and the "put a hat on that baby" has started. I politely explained to the person that doctors now recommend not keeping a baby too hot. She explained..."you don't put a hat on her for warmth, it's because if wind gets in her ears she will get an ear infection."

And here I thought ear infections were caused by fluid and bacteria.

eh, just take the advice of a PP's mother and blow her ears out with a blow dryer!


----------



## Kelly1101

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dancindoula* 
eh, just take the advice of a PP's mother and blow her ears out with a blow dryer!









Hahahahaha!


----------



## tjjazzy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Raine822* 
Just had a new one. 82 degrees outside and the "put a hat on that baby" has started. I politely explained to the person that doctors now recommend not keeping a baby too hot. She explained..."you don't put a hat on her for warmth, it's because if wind gets in her ears she will get an ear infection."

And here I thought ear infections were caused by fluid and bacteria.

LOL it seems to me their response should've been b/c of the sun! ...as in sunhat! i love the answer they did give you! though i will say if they already have an ear infection, the wind could cause some pain. it does for me! or if they have tubes in their ears or ears prone to getting infections or soreness, (excessive) wind can cause some pain. but otherwise, CAUSE an infection?????


----------



## tjjazzy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 
I showed this picture of my son to a new woman at our temple - after repeatedly saying that I had a son. She says "OMG, your daughter is just lovely! Look at her hair!"







Ooooohkay. Some people just don't pay attention, I think.









she thought that picture was of a girl????? he doesn't look girlish at all.


----------



## tjjazzy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Angelorum* 
LOL. Adorable picture, though.

this is what my son was wearing that day at the library.

are these people nuts? he doesn't look girly either. LOL. i think the librarian and the lady at temple need new glasses...


----------



## gbailey

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 







: nope, those weren't "unspoiled" children either.

Here, let me find a picture of an "unspoiled" child for you...
here we are.

Where'd you find a picture of my "unspoiled" baby?! LOL


----------



## gbailey

DD and I go to a local 99 cent store about three times a week. I always have a brief conversation with the same male cashier about the weather or some other basic topic. The day before yesterday he asks me if DD is a boy or girl. I guess the pigtails and the fact that she had on so much pink she could have been a Pepto Bismol bottle didn't matter. And that we are in that store frequently. I told him a girl and his response? "She looks like a boy!" I asked him what a boy looks like and he shrugged his shoulders. I am going to assume he doesn't see very well.Even when DD is not in a pastel color she looks like a girl to me!


----------



## boringscreenname

The other day DS and I were at Baby Depot. I got up to the register to check out and DS was sitting in the cart, and I had a whole cart full of baby stuff. The cashier looked at me, and asked "Do you have kids?"

One of DP's co-workers has a son she brings into work. One time she was putting her DS into his bucket seat, and DP noticed the chest clip was shoved down as low as possible. He asked her if she knew the chest clip was supposed to be at chest level. She said she knew, but her DS has always been just fine with it like that. They also apparently bought the bucket seat used, and have never used a base with it, because it didn't come with one.

One of my co-workers bought a used car, that was well over 10 years old and came with a built in carseat. She kept telling me how great it was that the carseat was built into the car, and now she wouldn't have to worry about constantly moving and installing her grandson's carseat. I pointed out that the built in carseat was over 10 years old, and how safety standards have changed and it was unsafe to use, but she refused to listen.

The gender comments get old fast. Even when DS was dressed in head to toe blue people would still ask if he was a boy or a girl. I actually had one person tell me he was too pretty to be a boy and that it was a shame his big blue eyes and long eyelashes were wasted on a boy.


----------



## Kelly1101

Quote:


Originally Posted by *boringscreenname* 
He asked her if she knew the chest clip was supposed to be at chest level. She said she knew, but her DS has always been just fine with it like that.

*wince*

Quote:

it was a shame his big blue eyes and long eyelashes were wasted on a boy.
Have a feeling that his future girlfriends won't think that.









My husband has enormous brown eyes with long eyelashes, and they are not a bit wasted.


----------



## minkajane

In class the other day, we were working on individual projects. My teacher came up to the person next to me and said, "Hey, I know your son is about the same age as mine. Can I ask you something? Is he BAD?" (emphasis hers) The girl nodded emphatically and said, "Oh yes!" and they started talking about how defiant their kids are and what to do about it. Their kids are 18 months old. They're BABIES. They're not BAD.

To be fair, they did talk about using brief time-outs and natural consequences, but I was still sitting there cringing about the terminology used. I hate it when people refer to children as bad. Just because we don't like what they did doesn't make the person themselves bad!


----------



## barefootmama0709

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KristyDi* 
I was at a playground w/ a good friend recently our dd's, both 21 months were hanging out and playing. We were chatting and her 6 month old dd was in her car seat watching everything.

The woman sitting next to us said many many dumb things in the 15 min we were there before she left. This was my favorite.

Several of the older kids, including this woman's daughter and an older toddler boy (maybe 3 or 4 years old) had come over and were playing with my friend's 6 month old. This was fine with my friend and the baby was happy. The woman's daughter said, "Look mama we're playing with baby!" the woman's brilliant response. . .

"Oh, he dosen't want to play with the baby! He's a _BOY_!"

I guess that despite the fact that this little boy was in fact playing with a baby and smiling and laughing, that boys never never like babies.









I have a friend with six children. As SOON as I get both of my kids out of the car, her 12-year-old son comes and kidnaps my one-year-old. I don't have to do anything but change him for 90% of the time we're at their house!!


----------



## crunchy_mommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
In class the other day, we were working on individual projects. My teacher came up to the person next to me and said, "Hey, I know your son is about the same age as mine. Can I ask you something? Is he BAD?" (emphasis hers) The girl nodded emphatically and said, "Oh yes!" and they started talking about how defiant their kids are and what to do about it. Their kids are 18 months old. They're BABIES. They're not BAD.

To be fair, they did talk about using brief time-outs and natural consequences, but I was still sitting there cringing about the terminology used. I hate it when people refer to children as bad. Just because we don't like what they did doesn't make the person themselves bad!

When DS was just a few months old we went to a party with my mom & everyone was asking me, "Is he a good baby?" and I always smiled & said yes. My mom whipped around & said, "Don't say that!! He's not a good baby at all! Tell them what he's really like!" To be fair, he was (is) very very high needs but to say he's not "good", that he's "bad" when he's only a few months old?


----------



## barefootmama0709

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Stephenie* 
Oh my goodness I think we have the same MIL.
My MIL will get out some stickers and a notebook and make my ds put one sticker per page. "No no, we can't put two stickers on the same page..." Or the last time we were there she wanted him to "finish" a page in the coloring book. "I won't put it on the fridge unless you finish it." As if he cared. He just flipped to the next page, scribbled a bit and the same fight started over. I always want to scream "Quit micromanaging my toddler!" at her. Thankfully we now live 2500 miles away. haha.

That sounds like my aunt. She and my uncle don't have any children (thank goodness). We were at my grandmothers house and my ODS was eating chocolate pudding, some of which got on the tablecloth. She FREAKED out, even though my gma didn't care at all-every time his fingers got near the table she would go "look out! he's going to get it on the table!!"


----------



## minkajane

Just had another fun comment. A labor and delivery nurse just told me the reason babies sleep for 12 hours after being circ'd is because the sugar paci they give them makes their brain think they've eaten. Riiiiight. It's not because they're in shock from being stapped to a board and having their genitals hacked at. I actually said that to her (in a nicer way) and she just laughed and shrugged.


----------



## KristyDi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
Just had another fun comment. A labor and delivery nurse just told me the reason babies sleep for 12 hours after being circ'd is because the sugar paci they give them makes their brain think they've eaten. Riiiiight. It's not because they're in shock from being stapped to a board and having their genitals hacked at. I actually said that to her (in a nicer way) and she just laughed and shrugged.

I know my newborn always slept 12 hours after eating







In the hospital I was lucky if she slept 30 min. Somehow I doubt a sugar paci would have helped.


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
Just had another fun comment. A labor and delivery nurse just told me the reason babies sleep for 12 hours after being circ'd is because the sugar paci they give them makes their brain think they've eaten. Riiiiight. It's not because they're in shock from being stapped to a board and having their genitals hacked at. I actually said that to her (in a nicer way) and she just laughed and shrugged.

Shouldn't one be worried if an infant sleeps that long after ingesting straight sugar??


----------



## emamum

ive been given a swing... the woman who gave it to me said its great, the swing rocks them and plays music to them, then the seat un clips from the frame and lies back so they can drink their bottle and you dont need to pick the baby up.....


----------



## waiting2bemommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BarefootScientist* 
WOW. That is just unbelievable.
















Although it does make me want to go get my DS a Asian baby doll to see what type of reactions I get...then again maybe i don't want to know.









two comments....that only happens whenn its a white kid with a nonwhite doll. no one ever said anything to me (a liitle brown girl) about my white doll babies. I didn't get my first black baby til I was older...I guess they were still a novelty 20-odd years ago.









secondly and I swear I won't hold it against him because he honestly didn't know better but while I was at work dd's dad was trying to soothe her, and she didn't want the paci (she's never taken it really) so he tried to get her to suck on it by dipping it in PEANUT BUTTER. oy. we had a looong conversation about what two month old babies can and cannot ingest.


----------



## Raine822

My DH(who by now should know about BFing) brought this up-

DH: Are you having supply issues?
Me: No, why?
DH: Your boobs look smaller

They are smaller because I have stopped pumping for a freezer stash. While I was building the stash I would get engorged if I didn't nurse/pump often.


----------



## Arianwen1174

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Raine822* 
My DH(who by now should know about BFing) brought this up-

DH: Are you having supply issues?
Me: No, why?
DH: Your boobs look smaller

They are smaller because I have stopped pumping for a freezer stash. While I was building the stash I would get engorged if I didn't nurse/pump often.









(I really did this just now. I admit I was giggling a little though, because (unfortunately) that sounds just like what many men would say.)


----------



## brittney_

Quote:


Originally Posted by *boringscreenname* 

One of DP's co-workers has a son she brings into work. One time she was putting her DS into his bucket seat, and DP noticed the chest clip was shoved down as low as possible. He asked her if she knew the chest clip was supposed to be at chest level. She said she knew, but her DS has always been just fine with it like that. They also apparently bought the bucket seat used, and have never used a base with it, because it didn't come with one.


I had an acquaintance who put her son in the bucket seat with the chest clip down on his belly, and the straps so loose that if he squirmed they slid off of his shoulders







. I already disagreed with a lot of her parenting, but held my tongue. When I saw that I just couldn't keep quiet. I gently pointed out how the straps need to fit, and she says "oh, its uncomfortable for him if its too tight"







. Last I heard the child (who has miraculously survived to age 3) is living with grandparents.


----------



## isign

I have very 'spirited' toddlers, one with high functioning Autism who I swear has a stash of speed hidden in his room. My parents constantly tell me that their children (4 of us) never did anything like what mine do. My father informed me this morning that the reason my kids are the way they are is because I don't spank, and I would "reap what I sow", even after I informed him that it was our parenting decision and the Dr said not to. Right like it worked so much better for them, only one of my siblings speaks to them.


----------



## KristyDi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *isign* 
I have very 'spirited' toddlers, one with high functioning Autism who I swear has a stash of speed hidden in his room. *My parents constantly tell me that their children (4 of us) never did anything like what mine do.* My father informed me this morning that the reason my kids are the way they are is because I don't spank, and I would "reap what I sow", even after I informed him that it was our parenting decision and the Dr said not to. Right like it worked so much better for them, only one of my siblings speaks to them.

OT but the bolded reminded me of a family story my dad tells.

My mom was having some problem with me when I was a a kid and called her mom for advice. Several minutes later she hung up the phone rather forcefully and exclaimed "Either we were the world's most perfect children or my mother has a terrible memory! All she ever says is, "I don't think any of you ever did that" when I ask a question!"


----------



## BlueWolf

Quote:


Originally Posted by *isign* 
I have very 'spirited' toddlers, one with high functioning Autism who I swear has a stash of speed hidden in his room. *My parents constantly tell me that their children (4 of us) never did anything like what mine do.* My father informed me this morning that the reason my kids are the way they are is because I don't spank, and I would "reap what I sow", even after I informed him that it was our parenting decision and the Dr said not to. Right like it worked so much better for them, only one of my siblings speaks to them.

My mom says this _all_ the time. Apparently my brother and I were perfect angels, even though my memory distinctly claims otherwise. I chalk it up to the fact that my parents are getting older than their brains can only hold so much stuff. The older material starts to leak and ooze out of their ears.


----------



## swd12422

Okay, but if their kids were so perfect all the time and never did any of these awful, out-of-the-ordinary behaviors our kids are all doing, how do they know that spanking is the only thing that will work??? B/c clearly they had no need to spank....


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *swd12422* 
Okay, but if their kids were so perfect all the time and never did any of these awful, out-of-the-ordinary behaviors our kids are all doing, how do they know that spanking is the only thing that will work??? B/c clearly they had no need to spank....

I think their argument is that they hit their kid once and the kid never misbehaved again.


----------



## WindyCityMom

Here's a winner..

At six flags, DHs aunt said... "Are you sure you want to go on a roller coaster? Won't the baby get diarrhea? (I'm EBFing). It'll be like... a milkshake!!"

I think I almost died laughing right there.


----------



## Amatullah0

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WindyCityMom* 
Here's a winner..

At six flags, DHs aunt said... "Are you sure you want to go on a roller coaster? Won't the baby get diarrhea? (I'm EBFing). It'll be like... a milkshake!!"

I think I almost died laughing right there.











from freezing breasts to milkshakes, do people think that breasts are really just taped on bottles or something?


----------



## Smokering

Not sure if I've posted this before, but when DD was a baby and we were all travelling in Mum's van, DD started screaming. I said "Is it OK if we stop somewhere soon so I can feed her?", and DH said "Can't you just take her out and feed her while we drive?"

My entire family, including my ten-year-old sister, started yelling him and he quickly realised that taking a baby out of its carseat and feeding it ON THE HIGHWAY wasn't a bright idea. I'm still amazed that came out of his mouth.


----------



## ramlita

In some states, the car seat law has an exception:
the baby doesn't have to be in a car seat when s/he is nursing.
















(Just. Pull. Over!!!)


----------



## pear-shaped

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Amatullah0* 
from freezing breasts to milkshakes, do people think that breasts are really just taped on bottles or something?









More evidence for your theory: someone once told a friend of mine not to drink sparkling water because it would give her baby gas.


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pear-shaped* 
More evidence for your theory: someone once told a friend of mine not to drink sparkling water because it would give her baby gas.

*facepalm*

But then you get the doctors that will tell you that what you eat has ZERO effect on your breastmilk.


----------



## InMediasRes

There should be a breastfeeding version of this thread.


----------



## WindyCityMom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *InMediasRes* 
There should be a breastfeeding version of this thread.

I agree!


----------



## Awaken

someone start one! i would but i'm nakking


----------



## Heidi74

We do part-time EC, and today my brother asked why DS2 (11 mos) is almost always diaper-less when out in the backyard. "Aren't you worried that he'll get a rash? Put a diaper on that child!" he said. Ummmm...yeah....the absence of a diaper is why babies get diaper rash.


----------



## Forthwith

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Heidi74* 
We do part-time EC, and today my brother asked why DS2 (11 mos) is almost always diaper-less when out in the backyard. "Aren't you worried that he'll get a rash? Put a diaper on that child!" he said. Ummmm...yeah....the absence of a diaper is why babies get diaper rash.

lol! He realises that it's called 'diaper rash' for a reason, right?


----------



## Arianwen1174

Threadjacking to say: Kelmendi, your siggy is so cute!


----------



## Happiestever

I thought I never really heard dumb things until I read this thread. I have heard a lot of them, but I just took it as ignorance. I think people just don't know any better so when they ask what seems like a dumb question, or makes a dumb comment they really believe they are speaking the truth.

MIL: You have to drink milk to make milk, you should have done nipple gymnastics before you had the baby (I used a nipple shield for two weeks- since ds was started on it when I was all drugged up from surgery = flatter nipples)
Mom: When ds bit me while nursing - You should wean him- 14 months old
Aunt: Is that safe- homebirth, then a UC next, she is great though and asks me a lot of questions that seem silly, but it made me more confident
Nurse and Dr: You had your baby at home, vaginally? - Umm yeah surgery can't really be done at home
Preschool Teacher - Are you homeschooling too? - because I do everything else different I have to homeschool huh
When I told someone I had to take dd to potty - they looked at me and said that's weird

Yep, I'm weird alright. Weird and proud. My bumper sticker says normal is relative.


----------



## BtotheG

This should sound familiar to many of you...

We went to MIL's house for our first visit when dd was three months old. MIL was constantly plucking dd from my or DH's arms, not necessarily to hold her, but to put her on the blanket on the floor, or a bouncy seat, or some sort of contraption.

Once, when MIL *was* actually holding her, she wanted to go take a shower, and wanted to know if dd would be ok by herself, on MIL's bed, in another room, away from all of us....I told MIL I would just hold her.

It was weird. MIL took every opportunity to take dd out of our arms and put her somewhere by herself.

Now that dd is 8 months, MIL is *still* buying us jumpers and walkers, basically anything that would keep dd from being in our arms. The things is, dd doens't like any of that stuff. She's been mobile for awhile, and prefers to cruise around if she's not with me or DH.

Every time MIL calls though, she wants to know if dd is in her walker or jumper, or whatever other contraption of the day. DH explained that no, dd doesn't really like the walker, so we don't really use it.

MIL: But...you guys *HOLD* her all the time! You hold her too much.

Finally - she just came out and said it! I figured all her baby plucking was due to the old school "you'll spoil the baby by holding her" stuff, but it took her eight months to actually come out with it.

And, yeah, we *do* hold her, as much as she'll let us (she really loves crawling and cruising!).


----------



## BtotheG

Just thought of another one:

MIL says at least once in every conversation: [dd] is just so *attached* to you (meaning me).

It's the way she says it - she always says it with such a tenor of surprise, as if it's just so weird that a baby would love her mama. Like she just can't understand why dd prefers me and wants to be with me.

It actually makes me wonder what her relationship was like with DH when he was a baby....


----------



## jump mama jump!

BtotheG, my MIL said the same thing about putting dd on her bed when we visited last. I just lied and said dd (2.5 mo at the time) was rolling already so it wouldn't be safe. It was a white lie, she was really just starting to roll onto her side and it really didn't seem safe to me.

Happiestever, i think you're right about a lot of people just being ignorant.
My best friend is supposed to babysit my dd in a few weeks for a couple of hours so I can go see a show and we were discussing some of the basics (he doesn't have kids, but is a paramedic and respects my wishes completely, and dd really likes him, so I trust him). I told him to just call me if she freaks out or anything, I'd just come home if that's the case (we live in a small city where nothing takes longer than 15 or 20 minutes to get to), and he asks, "what if she's just throwing a temper tantrum or something?" doh! I had to explain that 4 month olds are not capable of tantrums and that he better do all he can to meet her very legitimate needs including just calling me to come home if necessary (I doubt it will be - I left her with dh for a few hours the other night and it was fine).

Or as in the case of my grandma, some people have outdated info. I was bfing dd on passover and my grandma was concerned that I was doing it again "so soon," (an hour or two after the last time!) saying that when she had her first baby some friend of hers told her to get her milk tested because her baby (my aunt) shouldn't be wanting to eat so frequently - I think every two hours. dh and I just tried to tell her that it was some very outdated advice she was referring to, but she's in her 90s and has um... not very good selective hearing, shall we say? It made me wonder though if that meant she starved my mom and uncle when they were babies, since it implied she fed them less often.


----------



## crunchy_mommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jump mama jump!* 
It made me wonder though if that meant she starved my mom and uncle when they were babies, since it implied she fed them less often.

I often think my mom starved me... she says that I was just like my DS is, and when I nurse DS for the 4th time in an hour, she'll say something like, "Oh you fussed like that too but I knew you just ate so you couldn't be hungry," uhhhh yeah so you just didn't nurse me unless it'd been X number of hours?!?!?! I still sometimes eat 4 times an hour, I'm pretty sure I WAS hungry!! No wonder I cried so much as a baby...


----------



## swd12422

Quote:


Originally Posted by *crunchy_mommy* 
I often think my mom starved me... she says that I was just like my DS is, and when I nurse DS for the 4th time in an hour, she'll say something like, "Oh you fussed like that too but I knew you just ate so you couldn't be hungry," uhhhh yeah so you just didn't nurse me unless it'd been X number of hours?!?!?! I still sometimes eat 4 times an hour, I'm pretty sure I WAS hungry!! No wonder I cried so much as a baby...

I am laughing and blushing at this, b/c for the first couple of months, DS would cry and cry and we could never figure out why. I finally realized we had a pattern of saying, "He couldn't possibly be hungry -- he just ate XX minutes ago! So what the heck is he crying about?" and by the time we got around to trying feeding him, he was definitely ready to take it. It didn't take me long to stop mid-sentence ("He can't be--") and just get him fed. I do still wonder if I underfed him, and feel so bad! (We were told the same "every two to four hours" schedule, and he never finished a whole bottle at a sitting for me, so I assumed he wasn't hungry, but now I realize he just preferred smaller, more frequent feedings.)


----------



## minkajane

I finally have new ones to share! My mom found out I was pregnant with my second and informed me that I absolutely could not have sex because my cervix would CONTRACT and I would have the baby early. Really mom? Because I thought the cervix OPENED to let the baby out. And I guess I just got lucky with my last pregnancy, since DS was born at 37 weeks and I certainly wasn't abstinent!

I spoke to a first-time mom last week who already has her induction scheduled for 38 weeks on the dot. Why? So she won't be uncomfortable at the holidays and so she'd be out of the hospital by Christmas. Not really stupid advice, but more of a "Wait - what? Seriously?" kind of thing.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
I finally have new ones to share! My mom found out I was pregnant with my second and informed me that I absolutely could not have sex because my cervix would CONTRACT and I would have the baby early. Really mom? Because I thought the cervix OPENED to let the baby out. And I guess I just got lucky with my last pregnancy, since DS was born at 37 weeks and I certainly wasn't abstinent!

Semen can encourage dilation.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *http://www.maternitycorner.com/mcmag/articles/preg0007.html*
Sex to Induce Labor

Semen contains prostaglandins. Prostaglandins cause the cervix to "ripen", or soften and prepare to open. While it is debatable whether there are enough prostaglandins in semen to have any real effect, it is not a terrible way to keep hope alive and while away the last weeks of your pregnancy. Another great side effect is the fact that orgasms produce oxytocin, the hormone that causes contractions. So, between the two, there is a pretty good case for the cure for pregnancy.

Any chance she was worried about you having preterm labor because of having your DS relatively early for a first timer?


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
I spoke to a first-time mom last week who already has her induction scheduled for 38 weeks on the dot. Why? So she won't be uncomfortable at the holidays and so she'd be out of the hospital by Christmas. Not really stupid advice, but more of a "Wait - what? Seriously?" kind of thing.

OMFFFBBQ (FFF--flying fish friend







)


----------



## minkajane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
Semen can encourage dilation.

Any chance she was worried about you having preterm labor because of having your DS relatively early for a first timer?

Nope. She's under the impression that ANY sex at ANY time in pregnancy causes immediate labor and that's why she had a miscarriage and I was born 6 weeks early. According to her, the reason my (older) brother and (younger) sister both went to term was because she didn't have sex AT ALL while she was pregnant. (There was no real reason why I was born early - I just was. The miscarriage was very early and again was just one of those things, so it's not like she had any risk factors that would suggest she should avoid sex.)

It's scary how little she knows about pregnancy and childbirth considering she's had three kids born vaginally. Her attitude is "Just do what the doctor says and don't try to think about things too much." Most people that attitude don't come right out and say it, but she does.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
Nope. She's under the impression that ANY sex at ANY time in pregnancy causes immediate labor and that's why she had a miscarriage and I was born 6 weeks early. According to her, the reason my (older) brother and (younger) sister both went to term was because she didn't have sex AT ALL while she was pregnant. (There was no real reason why I was born early - I just was. The miscarriage was very early and again was just one of those things, so it's not like she had any risk factors that would suggest she should avoid sex.)

It's scary how little she knows about pregnancy and childbirth considering she's had three kids born vaginally. Her attitude is "Just do what the doctor says and don't try to think about things too much." Most people that attitude don't come right out and say it, but she does.

Wow.

Guess I shouldn't be surprised after she said the cervix will "contract".









OTOH, I'm now surprised you haven't had daily updates to post to this thread!


----------



## cristeen

Quote:


Originally Posted by *boringscreenname* 
There's one worker at the Starbucks we go to inside the grocery store, who always offers DS a little cup full of whipped cream, every time we're there.
No I'm not going to feed my 16 month old that much sugar, then make him sit in the cart and endure a grocery shopping trip.

around here, most starbucks make their own whipped cream and its unsweetened.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
A young woman came into my maternity store today to buy a nursing bra. I got to talking to her and asked if she had gone to any breastfeeding classes. She said, "No, my family said not to because my mom nursed her kids for a few months each, so she'd be all I need!"

i had an otherwise intelligent friend say something very similar to me. I was loaning her birth books and suggested that she find her local LLL meeting and she told me that her mom nursed 4 kids, so shed be able to help w any problems. But that she wasnt planning to have any.







: i just had to look at her and remind her that i hadnt planned on having any either, yet here i was with formula and a bottle.


----------



## crunchy_mommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cristeen* 
around here, most starbucks make their own whipped cream and its unsweetened.

I used to work at Starbucks... We made our own whipped cream & it contained vanilla flavoring. The vanilla flavoring is in a sugar-based syrup. I never tried it (vegan) so I don't know how sweet it actually tasted but there was definitely a lot of sugar in it...

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cristeen* 
i had an otherwise intelligent friend say something very similar to me. I was loaning her birth books and suggested that she find her local LLL meeting and she told me that her mom nursed 4 kids, so shed be able to help w any problems. But that she wasnt planning to have any.







: i just had to look at her and remind her that i hadnt planned on having any either, yet here i was with formula and a bottle.

Yeah 'cause everyone who has nursing problems PLANNED to have problems







That must've been a hard for you to react so calmly & nicely!!


----------



## JudiAU

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AFWife* 
Another from this weekend: (same guy actually)

*me changing DS's diaper*
D: Is that...
Me: Cloth diapers, yep.
D: Isnt' that expensive?
DH: Well, only at first but after the initial investment...
D: Oh, you wash them???
Me and DH: *pause and look at each other* yes...

I wanted to say, "Hell no, we're rolling in money and just throw them away after each pee!"









That is so funny. We had similar comment from a turned out to be much to young and immature babysitter.


----------



## InMediasRes

My neighbor is on a 10 day long vacation right now. When I asked her if she was excited to take her 6mo to the beach (they are going to a tropical location) she replied "Oh no, we're not bringing her with us. She'll be much happier at gramma's."







Do people really do this?


----------



## Kidzaplenty

Quote:


Originally Posted by *InMediasRes* 
My neighbor is on a 10 day long vacation right now. When I asked her if she was excited to take her 6mo to the beach (they are going to a tropical location) she replied "Oh no, we're not bringing her with us. She'll be much happier at gramma's."







Do people really do this?

Well, I would not take my 6mo to the beach, if I could help it. Not much of a vactaion for him or me. But then again, that is why we don't take those types of vacations at this time.

When I am hoping that my DH and I will be able to go on a cruise when our WO is a year.


----------



## InMediasRes

I guess I was asking if people really leave their 6mo for 10 days at a time? That seems like so long to me. They had just left her for the weekend before too.

Yeah, I agree about the beach. I think they were headed there for another reason (family reunion or something).


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## Fyrestorm

We took DD to St. Martin when she was 4 mo..it was a great relaxing beach vacation.


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## crunchy_mommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *InMediasRes* 
I guess I was asking if people really leave their 6mo for 10 days at a time? That seems like so long to me. They had just left her for the weekend before too.

Yeah, I agree about the beach. I think they were headed there for another reason (family reunion or something).

Yes, my cousin left her DS when he was I think 2 months old?? For a week... and a lot of acquaintances of mine have left their infants for a week or two. I can't imagine doing that -- I still haven't left my 18mo for more than 2 hours!

We did take DS to the beach when he was 4 or 5 months old. But, we didn't spend all day lounging on the beach, we just went for an hour or two at a time with breaks in between, and we went in late Spring so it wasn't as hot yet!


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## Amatullah0

wow, I wouldn't even leave my 14mo for 10 days! maybe if he wasn't nursing i would feel differently? lol, this morning i was trying to do some quiet reflection/meditation, and I couldn't concentrate for the life of me! I was in the living room, and DS was in the bedroom, and all I could think about was , what if something happens to him? what if a fire suddenly starts in the hallway and then I have to go grab him and jump out the window? what if he wakes up and sees the fire and starts screaming? or tries to go into it? yeah. I think me and ds need to start spending some time apart, or something, i sound like a crazy woman!









anyway, I just thought of something, I still remember it from quite a few years ago, I was a teen to preteen or something. a little girl (4yo maybe?) did something "bad" to me, maybe she bumped into me, or said something rude, anyways, it was something where her mom made her say sorry to me.

mom: "apologize"
girl: "sorry"
me: "thats ok"
mom: "NO! it is not ok!"
me(in my head): huh? ok..... what do you want me to do about it then?


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## ramlita

Yeah really, what were you _supposed_ to say?









That "Sorry/That's Okay" thing is so weird.
In our family we ended up changing to "I'm Sorry/Thank You" so the injured party feels acknowledged but doesn't have to act as if the apology makes for a clean slate, because we all know that's not the case, especially between siblings


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ramlita* 
Yeah really, what were you _supposed_ to say?









That "Sorry/That's Okay" thing is so weird.
In our family we ended up changing to "I'm Sorry/Thank You" so the injured party feels acknowledged but doesn't have to act as if the apology makes for a clean slate, because we all know that's not the case, especially between siblings

















:
We also use "apology accepted".

And it also helps the other way--keeps the person who made a small, accidental, error from feeling like the slighted person has decided to sulk about it.


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## laughingfox

When I was still feeding DD1 at 5 months, one of DH's co-workers freaked out. He said it was not normal that a mother could lactate so long, and that I needed to be taken to the ER _immediately_ to find out what was _wrong_ with me.

I was also told that DD1 would never learn how to walk if I didn't buy her "proper" (hard-soled) shoes.
Do people really think that humans were not bipedal until _after_ the invention of modern shoes? That we just crawled on all fours until we discovered how to make plastic and form it into shoe soles?

Oh, and I get sooooo many comments about how I'm being "cruel" and "depriving" my kids by carrying them instead of using a stroller.

When I'm out with DD2, people make snide comments about how I'm just a "new mom" who doesn't "know better" (about CDs, babywearing, etc). Their expressions are priceless when I point I also have a 9 year old, and that this is exactly what worked perfectly for us the first time.


----------



## Addie

My MIL, who actually nursed her own kids, recently said "you have to wonder if he's really getting any milk when he nurses" about my nine-month-old.


----------



## jenP

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Addie* 
My MIL, who actually nursed her own kids, recently said "you have to wonder if he's really getting any milk when he nurses" about my nine-month-old.









If he's popped off for a moment, you could squirt her with some milk. "Yep, I think there's still milk in there!"


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## childsplay

My MIL told my DH that CPS would take our (newborn) babies away because I was nursing them and they all dropped a few ounces in the first days/week after birth.
Apparently I was starving them and stunting their growth with my evil breastmilk








BTW...my DH was terrified and even tried to get me to FF, seriously, he was a wreck.....ESPECIALLY after the (very kind) public health nurse came round for a visit, and happened to weigh them. While she nicely explained that most babies drop a bit in weight, if they're feeding ok then they'll do nothing but start gaining again. MY MIL went right to town on that one, told my DH that now 'they' have on record that the babies are failing to thrive and to expect a knock on the door at any time.
FINALLY, my mom, an RN with many years in the NICU told my DH that his mother was full of [email protected]#$% and to start using some common sense and STOP listening to her.
MIL has since backed off but has over the years come up with a few more 'tidbits of wisdom/doom' that she's more than happy to share with us.

She's the same one who, when we told her that we were joining our local Baptist church said "oh? You don't look like Baptists."
Whatever THAT meant!

Another time I was folding the cloth diapers in prep for DS to be born.
DH - cloth eh?
Me- Yup! Aren't they nice?
DH - Hmm, so you wash them in the machine?
Me- Yup.
Him - (Thinking, obviously distressed) I'm not sure that's a good idea...
Me- Huh?
DH- Well, what about all the fecal matter...won't that clog up the washing machine?
Me-Bahahaha!!!!(he thought we'd just strip the poopy dipes off the babe and toss them in the machine)
I thought I was going go into labor right there from laughing...Poor DH he's such a good guy, he just didn't have a clue about babies, and I could just see him calculating the cost of all the washing machines we'd inevitably go through before or child was potty trained


----------



## tjjazzy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *laughingfox* 
When I was still feeding DD1 at 5 months, one of DH's co-workers freaked out. He said it was not normal that a mother could lactate so long, and that I needed to be taken to the ER _immediately_ to find out what was _wrong_ with me.

I was also told that DD1 would never learn how to walk if I didn't buy her "proper" (hard-soled) shoes.
Do people really think that humans were not bipedal until _after_ the invention of modern shoes? That we just crawled on all fours until we discovered how to make plastic and form it into shoe soles?

Oh, and I get sooooo many comments about how I'm being "cruel" and "depriving" my kids by carrying them instead of using a stroller.

When I'm out with DD2, people make snide comments about how I'm just a "new mom" who doesn't "know better" (about CDs, babywearing, etc). Their expressions are priceless when I point I also have a 9 year old, and that this is exactly what worked perfectly for us the first time.

ohmygoodness! you must live in a horrible town/city! i can't believe people would say those things to you!! ugh. i've only had positive responses to CDing mostly and i've actually been nagged at by some older women for having my child IN a stroller. he didn't even mind (he was about 2)!!! and i was pregnant (i did have a big sweater on), we were out walking-what did they want me to do??? just let him run free and get run over on the highway right next to the little summertime restaurant we were stopping to get food at? sheesh.
i did get some comments about feeding ds2 too often. well, i didn't get the comments-they were relayed to me later. my MIL thought i BF him too often. was i supposed to starve him??? (he nursed every 2 hours.) some people.


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## shnitzel

I was talking about how we don't go out much since DD was born and DH's friend looked at me completely puzzled and asked "Why can't you just leave her at home, she is sleeping?" He's not babysitting anytime soon! He was very serious and really didn't get it that you can't leave a sleeping baby home alone.


----------



## Lady Lilya

Quote:


Originally Posted by *crunchy_mommy* 
Yes, my cousin left her DS when he was I think 2 months old?? For a week... and a lot of acquaintances of mine have left their infants for a week or two. I can't imagine doing that -- I still haven't left my 18mo for more than 2 hours!

I know someone, almost 80 years old, who told me that when his children were 18mos and 6mos, he and his wife left them with grandparents and took a 6 month trip around the world to work on their marriage.

I can't imagine leaving my 3yo for more than a few days.


----------



## AllisonR

Quote:


Originally Posted by *childsplay* 
She's the same one who, when we told her that we were joining our local Baptist church said "oh? You don't look like Baptists."
Whatever THAT meant!

This so cracked me up. My mom says this all the time "Oh. They don't look like XYZ (baptists, mormons, gay, straight, accountant, insert whatever here)." The only thing she does not say this about is catholics, maybe because she is one and she has determined that catholics come in different shapes and sizes? Crazy.

I was at a mother-baby group a while ago and said I still didn't have my period yet. (DD was about a year). My friend gasped and said "OMG. Something is SERIOUSLY wrong with you then. You must go to your GP right away." I told her it was because of breast feeding, but she would not believe me. Of course some who BF get their periods back sooner, but I was so happy I hadn't yet.


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## frontierpsych

Allison, I still don't have mine back yet, although my 2yo was recently weaned.

I don't really get a lot of comments anymore, like I did when he was a baby. Most of our family just accepts that we're weird, lol! We are actually doing some more 'normal' stuff right now, so that cuts out comments too.


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AllisonR* 
I was at a mother-baby group a while ago and said I still didn't have my period yet. (DD was about a year). My friend gasped and said "OMG. Something is SERIOUSLY wrong with you then. You must go to your GP right away." I told her it was because of breast feeding, but she would not believe me. Of course some who BF get their periods back sooner, but I was so happy I hadn't yet.









this was one of my selling points for BFing. It took 6 months to get mine back...so I was without one for over a year. All of my friends thought it was so cool.


----------



## Rodeo Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AllisonR* 
I was at a mother-baby group a while ago and said I still didn't have my period yet. (DD was about a year). My friend gasped and said "OMG. Something is SERIOUSLY wrong with you then. You must go to your GP right away." I told her it was because of breast feeding, but she would not believe me. Of course some who BF get their periods back sooner, but I was so happy I hadn't yet.

I had a DOCTOR tell me something was wrong with me because I haven't had a period yet.







DS is only 6 months old.....it's really not that weird. For the record, I was at urgent care for a completely different issue. The doc was a wacko and said a variety of totally ridiculous things.


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## Xerxella

I can't believe this one hasn't been mentioned yet:

"If you let that baby into your bed now, they're never going to leave."


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## 20605

I can't believe this one hasn't been mentioned yet:

"If you let that baby into your bed now, they're never going to leave."

********
Yep we heard that one from my MIL...I said..well I suspect there won't be enough room for all of us once she is in high school. I think she will find it a bit crowded ....could have heard a pin drop after that....


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Rani* 
I can't believe this one hasn't been mentioned yet:

"If you let that baby into your bed now, they're never going to leave."

********
Yep we heard that one from my MIL...I said..well I suspect there won't be enough room for all of us once she is in high school. I think she will find it a bit crowded ....could have heard a pin drop after that....

"I'm sure he'll want out when he's 15..."









I don't remember if I mentioned this one (from last year):

DH: Yeah, we haven't started solids yet.

Coworker: How old his he again?

DH: Just turned 6 months.

Coworker: But you HAVE TO start solids!!!

DH: No, you CAN start solids at 6 months. We tried, he doesn't care, we'll try again in a month or so.

Coworker: No! You MUST start solids at 6 months. I know, I worked in a daycare!!

DH: *to me later* Yeah, because being a daycare worker means that you know everything about early childhood development...


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## Awaken

I forget if I've mentioned this one upthread or not! It's so sad.

Some aquaintances of mine are quite AP in every way...except CIO for sleeping. It's crazy- homebirth, babywearing, extended breastfeeding, natural products, and everything- but no problem with CIO, and will preach it to anyone who will listen. will randomly tell anyone that it's awesome and if they have a baby, to start sooner rather than later. During the pregnancy with their 3rd child, would talk longingly of greatly looking forward to letting this child CRY, it was going to be awesome, they would get it sleeping on a schedule!

Had the new baby, beautiful, homebirthed, pure, lovely sweet baby boy and the dad comes out a few days later wearing it in a sling and one of the first things he says to me is "I can't wait to let him cry. I have to find out how soon we can start." to a group of people standing around congratulating them on the birth and admiring the new baby.

It just doesn't fit. I don't see how someone would parent so instinctually in every way, yet think CIO and sleep training is great and encourage others to do it


----------



## Smokering

Quote:

"If you let that baby into your bed now, they're never going to leave."
Slightly OT, but you know, it's a funny thing... DD is 2.5 now and still cosleeps. I suspect some of my friends (and MIL!) think that we've "failed" because she's still in there, and we've become one of those families who "can't get her out". And to be sure, I'm sure if we did try to turf her out she'd voice her objections in no uncertain terms.









But the thing is... it's not like that. We actually _like_ having her in bed with us - well, other than the occasional moments when she kicks us in the head. We know she's safe, we can console her immediately if she gets scared due to hail outside (we've had some weird weather lately!), and in the morning when she wakes up, all squashy in the face, and starts to give us hugs and chats to us it's just awesome.







And this isn't just my view - DH has recently said a few times "You know, I'd miss her if she weren't in our bed any more". (You know, the husband, who according to non-cosleepers always hates cosleeping and is forced to do it by his frigid wife, or something...)

I _have_ been keeping a vague lookout online for a toddler bed, because we'd like to gradually transition her to her own bed (in our room) at some stage, if/when I get pregnant. But... yeah. For the moment, it's a total non-issue. And it both amuses and bugs me that we're probably being held up as some terrible example to other would-be cosleepers: "Oh no, you don't want to do that, my DIL did it and their little girl's TWO AND A HALF and is still in their bed!!!!111". You know?


----------



## PatienceAndLove

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Awaken* 
Had the new baby, beautiful, homebirthed, pure, lovely sweet baby boy and the dad comes out a few days later wearing it in a sling and one of the first things he says to me is "I can't wait to let him cry. I have to find out how soon we can start." to a group of people standing around congratulating them on the birth and admiring the new baby.

It just doesn't fit. I don't see how someone would parent so instinctually in every way, yet think CIO and sleep training is great and encourage others to do it









I think what hurts the most is the looking forward to it and the bragging about it!


----------



## tjjazzy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Awaken* 
I forget if I've mentioned this one upthread or not! It's so sad.

Some aquaintances of mine are quite AP in every way...except CIO for sleeping. It's crazy- homebirth, babywearing, extended breastfeeding, natural products, and everything- but no problem with CIO, and will preach it to anyone who will listen. will randomly tell anyone that it's awesome and if they have a baby, to start sooner rather than later. During the pregnancy with their 3rd child, would talk longingly of greatly looking forward to letting this child CRY, it was going to be awesome, they would get it sleeping on a schedule!

Had the new baby, beautiful, homebirthed, pure, lovely sweet baby boy and the dad comes out a few days later wearing it in a sling and one of the first things he says to me is "I can't wait to let him cry. I have to find out how soon we can start." to a group of people standing around congratulating them on the birth and admiring the new baby.

It just doesn't fit. I don't see how someone would parent so instinctually in every way, yet think CIO and sleep training is great and encourage others to do it









and he's not just being ironic?? yk saying "can't wait to let him cry! haha can you imagine????" he's totally serious? why do all that other stuff the AP way and then trot off to find out how soon you can let your baby CIO? very odd indeed.


----------



## Lady Lilya

I saw a lecture on TED about people who have made a choice, rationalizing it so that they feel good about the choice they have made. Maybe they had a really bad sleeper the first go around and a really hard time with it, and after a long time they got desperate enough to CIO. And so maybe they think this is the best choice and are being overly enthusiastic to make themselves feel comfortable with it.


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## ImaSophie

My youngest was DX w/ sensory processing disorder when he was around 2.75 years old. Up until that dx his life and ours was a living nightmare (lots of allergies, asthma, not able to sleep, not able to communicate with us at all verbally or even with pointing, not able to make eye contact, lots of texture issues, lots of noise sensitivities etc). Shortly after the DX my childless younger sister told me that his problems were my fault, if I would just turn his car seat around and stop breastfeeding him he would be fine. It was the most hateful thing anyone has ever said to me I think.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ImaSophie* 
My youngest was DX w/ sensory processing disorder when he was around 2.75 years old. Up until that dx his life and ours was a living nightmare (lots of allergies, asthma, not able to sleep, not able to communicate with us at all verbally or even with pointing, not able to make eye contact, lots of texture issues, lots of noise sensitivities etc). Shortly after the DX my childless younger sister told me that his problems were my fault, if I would just turn his car seat around and stop breastfeeding him he would be fine. It was the most hateful thing anyone has ever said to me I think.

soooo turning a carseat around cures asthma? Does your sister think your car is extraordinarily dusty??


----------



## Lisa1970

I have 5 children with the oldest turning 16 soon, so, I have had years of bad advice, LOL.

Let's see, I was told I was "infanticizing" (a mix between infant and fantacising, meant to mean fantasizing about my child being a baby) for still putting my then 1 yr old in a car seat (not kidding).

I was told, by my childless older sister, that children belong in daycare by 6 weeks old to be cared for by the "professionals" and that non-daycare workers are not competent to care for children (forget that I worked part time in daycare while in high school and college and was generally the most educated one working there). I actually got lots of "great" advice from her.

My brother, who professes to be an expert as he had 4 stepkids, who his wife did not have custody of....they let the oldest have her boyfriend in her bedroom, with the door closed, even with them not in the house, when she was 15 yrs old. They said that is how teens are supposed to be and you should not try to tell them no. Needless to say, same teen was pregnant before she turned 16. Anyway, I was given a very hard time by him because he felt there was something wrong with me that my oldest son did not have a girl friend by 13.

My MIL feels that whiskey in the bottle is the best way to get a baby to be quiet and go to sleep. (SIL is a drug addict and fighting alcoholism, good job MIL!). She also said that we should refuse to hold our crying baby because he shows him he can manipulate us. And that no matter how much the baby cries at night, never pick him up from 8pm-8am. Same woman feels that it is hovering and rude if you supervise a 2 yr old in the pool and became enraged at us when we would not come in the house and visit with her and leave 2 yr old alone in the pool, that goes to 12 feet deep. She actually said if we just check on him every 10 minutes, she has some super high level CPR skills. I seriously think MIL is mentally ill and never allowed alone with our children, ever. Not sure how DH made it through his childhood, other than that he spent it mostly with babysitters and rarely can recall being with his parents. Oh, and that all a child needs is a good whipping with a belt to show him his place. Her advice goes on and on and on.


----------



## Wild Lupine

I've been reading this thread for a while and I finally get to post something!

My IL's were going on and on about how smart DS is. They're grandparents, they get to brag about their grandkids, I get that. But DD was in the room, too, and is almost 4, definitely old enough to notice that she wasn't being mentioned at all. So I brought up some of the things she's recently learned.

FIL just waved his hand and said, "She's so pretty, she doesn't need to be smart." Then he started to talk about the pretty wives of rich, famous men and mentioned DD could be like those women when she grew up.


----------



## blake201

I've only been back at work a few weeks but when I mentioned at my knitting group at work that my 3 month old was 15 lbs (we EBF) one of my coworkers (also a mom, but I guess she FF?) got really alarmed and said:

"She's so big--that must mean she needs to be supplemented with formula, since she needs so much energy."

??? My husband and I puzzled over that one later. I'd heard of breast-feeding moms being told they needed to supplement because their babies were small, but never because their babies were thriving on breastmilk!


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blake201* 
I've only been back at work a few weeks but when I mentioned at my knitting group at work that my 3 month old was 15 lbs (we EBF) one of my coworkers (also a mom, but I guess she FF?) got really alarmed and said:

"She's so big--that must mean she needs to be supplemented with formula, since she needs so much energy."

??? My husband and I puzzled over that one later. I'd heard of breast-feeding moms being told they needed to supplement because their babies were small, but never because their babies were thriving on breastmilk!

FIL commented on DS (before he was walking or eating solids) "What has the doctor said about his weight!?!" He was quite alarmed until I explained that he ate nothing but breastmilk...later in the night they tried to get me to start giving him solids even though he showed zero interest (he was 7mo or so at the time...) I told DH later that I was confused...if he was "so big" on just my milk why on earth would I force any more calories???


----------



## craft_media_hero

MIL: when we're outside with the baby in a _very slight_ breeze on otherwise sunny day, "oh, watch out, the wind will steal his breath!"







me, "oh is that what they say







" her, scowling at me for not swallowing this load of crap: "NO. That's what REALLY HAPPENS!". Right. He loves the breeze!

MIL: after taking ds out of the Sleepy Wrap that _she bought us_, worriedly fingering the little fabric imprints on his ankles, "oh, if I smashed my ankle up like that, I wouldn't be able to walk for days"









MIL: after asking if we intended to circumsize our peacefully home-birthed, perfectly healthy, strong, beautiful ds, "oh, that's fine, but you have to roll it back to keep it clean or it will get infected" sigh. I explain that you just wipe straight down like a finger and that it's not ready to be retracted, ds will do that himself when he's ready too. She, aghast, "my great grandfather was uncircumsiced and he never had an infection, but you have to keep it clean". This after telling me horror story of her oldest sons foreskin trying to grow itself back and her "having" to "pop" it back over the glans. I still shudder with this one.

MIL: as I'm changing his cloth diaper with water-soaked cloth wipey, he has a _very mild_ butt rash from being in sposies and wipes while we were doing laundry the other day, pestering me incessantly to put A&D ointment on him. Um, no thanks he's fine, fresh air and dry dipes will take care of it. And insisting that we use the Huggies wipes she bought us coz they're better for sensitive skin. How can that be better than water?

What really irritates me about the circ/diaper stuff is how she sh.talks us to her mom, and we know it because then ggma starts nonstop passive-aggressively pestering about the same things MIL does. And she always wants to change his diaper, which will never happen. She will not babysit him until he self-retracts and is independent in his pottying.

MIL: trying to convince me to let dd ride in the back of her new car buckled on top of a CARBOARD BOX, "but it's the same height as her booster", so why don't you just want her booster?







She actually wanted dd to ride 300 miles on the interstate like this.

Dh and I don't feel comfortable leaving her alone in the same room as our infant boy.


----------



## Kidzaplenty

Quote:


Originally Posted by *craft_media_hero* 
MIL: when we're outside with the baby in a _very slight_ breeze on otherwise sunny day, "oh, watch out, the wind will steal his breath!"







me, "oh is that what they say







" her, scowling at me for not swallowing this load of crap: "NO. That's what REALLY HAPPENS!". Right. He loves the breeze!

Actually, this really does happen. Not with "slight" breezes (and not that you needed to worry about him in your circumstances), but wind to a baby's face can cause him to not be able to catch his breath. I have to remind my children to not blow into a baby's face for this reason.

I have also used it to my advantage. When a baby gets that "screaming so much they turn blue and can't seem to stop" scream, I just blow a puff of air into their face, hard, and they suddenly freeze up, stop everything, then take a deep gulping breath (once I am no longer blowing into their face).

I have always assumed that is what is meant when they say the wind will steal his breath.


----------



## Marsupialmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kidzaplenty* 
Actually, this really does happen. Not with "slight" breezes (and not that you needed to worry about him in your circumstances), but wind to a baby's face can cause him to not be able to catch his breath. I have to remind my children to not blow into a baby's face for this reason.

I have also used it to my advantage. When a baby gets that "screaming so much they turn blue and can't seem to stop" scream, I just blow a puff of air into their face, hard, and they suddenly freeze up, stop everything, then take a deep gulping breath (once I am no longer blowing into their face).

I have always assumed that is what is meant when they say the wind will steal his breath.

It can also help them take medicine (works with pets also).


----------



## craft_media_hero

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kidzaplenty* 
Actually, this really does happen. Not with "slight" breezes (and not that you needed to worry about him in your circumstances), but wind to a baby's face can cause him to not be able to catch his breath. I have to remind my children to not blow into a baby's face for this reason.

I have also used it to my advantage. When a baby gets that "screaming so much they turn blue and can't seem to stop" scream, I just blow a puff of air into their face, hard, and they suddenly freeze up, stop everything, then take a deep gulping breath (once I am no longer blowing into their face).

I have always assumed that is what is meant when they say the wind will steal his breath.

I've done that too to elicit the gasp reflex when ds freezes up from choking on milk while nursing. So yes, I understand that they do catch their breath from smth blowing in the face, but it was a balmy day with a nice breeze otherwise I would've protected him close to me with a blanket or smth. Point is all the passive aggressive unwanted "advice"; I do have my own mostly-functioning brain here!









Dumbest advice ever (from lots of people): 'you're going to have to get that baby on a feeding schedule'







as a young naive mom I actually believed this with my first and I think it contributed to difficulties in her knowing when she's hungry or not.


----------



## PatienceAndLove

Quote:


Originally Posted by *craft_media_hero* 
Dumbest advice ever (from lots of people): 'you're going to have to get that baby on a feeding schedule'







as a young naive mom I actually believed this with my first and I think it contributed to difficulties in her knowing when she's hungry or not.

I have always wondered if there is a correlation with the rising rate of obesity, and childhood obesity, and "feeding schedules".
Feeding the baby every (insert arbitrary number here) seems like it would encourage eating whether or not the baby is hungry.

I have also wondered if there is a correlation between CIO and insomnia. I did CIO with DD because I was told it was what I should do (young and living at home with my parents) Now we have bedtime issues with her being, what appears to be, afraid to go to bed. I have the same issues. If I am not asleep soon after I get in bed, I can't stand being in bed. Is this related to the childhood CIO??

And being told to CIO with DD is my stupid parenting advice.


----------



## aphel

A friend's mom shared the WORST breastfeeding advice EVER with me. Apparently, someone told her that she should toughen her nipples in preparation for bfing . . . . by rubbing them with STEEL WOOL!!!!!! And she did. Poor lady. (she was not, of course, suggesting I do this)

As for me, I am having a bit of friction with my SIL. We had to leave her house the other night to put DD to bed. After much pouting about the game of darts I was interrupting (with my poor exhausted and overstimulated LO screaming at the top of her lungs), she suggested I leave my SIX WEEK OLD on a folded up comforter on the floor of her bedroom. When I said I wouldn't really be comfortable with that she actually rolled her eyes and said "Oh yeah, because the rabid wolf that hangs around the building might get in and hurt her!"

Um, no. But leaving my newborn unattended on a giant pile of fluff sounds like not the best idea.

Sigh.


----------



## Kelly1101

Oh, mom.

Talking to her on the phone about Ozzy, and I say "I think he's starting to give me some real smiles, but it's still hard to be 100% sure."

She says: "that's because you keep him so stuffed full of milk all the time."

???WTH???
"Okay, mom, I'll just stop feeding him, then"

Her: "You should only be feeding him every three hours."

Me: "No, I'll feed him when he's hungry."

Her: "Well how do you know that he's really hungry."

Me: *banging head against wall* "It's easy-- I see when he acts hungry. That's usually a sign of hunger."

I think she is just deliberately trying to annoy me.


----------



## jenP

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kelly1101* 
Oh, mom.

Talking to her on the phone about Ozzy, and I say "I think he's starting to give me some real smiles, but it's still hard to be 100% sure."

She says: "that's because you keep him so stuffed full of milk all the time."

Sure.... it's a known fact that babies smile all the time when they're kept really hungry!








Anyway, congratulations on your baby boy, what a lovely name.

Jen


----------



## Lady Lilya

Kelly, trying to follow your Mom's logic to it's logical conclusion... If you don't SEE the smiles, because he is nursing, is there really any problem to that? The important thing is that he CAN smile, right? And later on, when he spaces his feedings more, you will get to see them more. Is there any significant loss in delaying the seeing of smiles a little?


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lady Lilya* 
Kelly, trying to follow your Mom's logic to it's logical conclusion... If you don't SEE the smiles, because he is nursing, is there really any problem to that? The important thing is that he CAN smile, right? And later on, when he spaces his feedings more, you will get to see them more. Is there any significant loss in delaying the seeing of smiles a little?

Babies smile while nursing and you can tell.









Now, I had thought her mother meant because you couldn't tell if he was smiling or if he was making a face from being too full.

Kelly, could you find out which it is for us? If it's the too full one, point out that he'd be sick if he was overeating. (Yeah, babies spit up for other reasons too, but a baby who isn't spitting up isn't getting too much milk.)


----------



## WifeMomChiro

When dd was teething (and not showing signs of pain, just drooling a lot), my cousin told me that I was torturing her because I didn't give her Tylenol around the clock at the first sign of teething.


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WifeMomChiro* 
When dd was teething (and not showing signs of pain, just drooling a lot), my cousin told me that I was torturing her because I didn't give her Tylenol around the clock at the first sign of teething.

Okay, this is true with my son because he's a HORRIBLE teether. He never did the "just drooling" thing, though


----------



## Kelly1101

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
Kelly, could you find out which it is for us? If it's the too full one, point out that he'd be sick if he was overeating. (Yeah, babies spit up for other reasons too, but a baby who isn't spitting up isn't getting too much milk.)

Right now I don't even want to plunge back into the Crazy. That's why I'm like... where does that even come from? What does how often I feed him have to do with smiling? How random is that?

When I was saying not sure if it was "real smiles", I didn't know if it was just that sleep-smiling thing or a whole-face smile that has intent behind it. Not that it really matters all that much, it looks cute either way







But mom's comment seemed to have nothing to do with what I was talking about. Who knows.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jenP*
Anyway, congratulations on your baby boy, what a lovely name.

Thank you!









Quote:


Originally Posted by *WifeMomChiro* 
When dd was teething (and not showing signs of pain, just drooling a lot), my cousin told me that I was torturing her because I didn't give her Tylenol around the clock at the first sign of teething.

Whoa, if I did this I'd have to first buy stock in Tylenol, since my daughter shows teething signs for WEEKS before a tooth actually pops through.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kelly1101* 
Right now I don't even want to plunge back into the Crazy. That's why I'm like... where does that even come from? What does how often I feed him have to do with smiling? How random is that?









Gotcha. Oooo, mean thought, obviously don't do this, but when he's really smiling and smiles at her? "Nah, he just ate so we can't be sure if he's smiling at you. Maybe around age 3 when he weans?







"

And congratulations on baby smiles!


----------



## minkajane

My coworker told me today that she knew a woman who's baby was born at 7 1/2 months because she used a heating pad when she was pregnant and it dried up all her amniotic fluid.







She also said that she was screamed at once by a Sears employee who found out that she used a heating pad on her back in pregnancy and that's when she found out that it would dry up your amniotic fluid. Even if that were true, who does the Sears person think she is, screaming at some random person for using a heating pad ONCE for a backache? My coworker seemed to think it was ok, since it was oh so dangerous, that it's justified to yell at a stranger about it.

I asked her if the blood dried up in her arm when she used a heating pad on it. She rolled her eyes and said it's not the same thing.


----------



## treeoflife3

I just remembered one although it is more funny than annoying because of the age of the person saying it to me.

My husband was deployed when I was due so I went to live back with my mom and a couple weeks after kiddo was born, my brother had a friend over. They were maybe 14 at the time. Kiddo just would NOT stop crying that night and I had to go downstairs to do some laundry. My brother's room is in the basement so I set kiddo on his bed (still crying of course) so I could switch over the laundry. My brother's friend told me I must be a bad mom because 'you are NEVER supposed to let the baby cry EVER.'

I just had to laugh. I was like, well yes, you don't let the baby cry when you can solve the problem but sometimes babies just cry and you can't figure out what to do about it. I'm not a bad mom for that

on the bright side... perhaps this means none of his future children, should he have any, will ever have CIO used on them?







Not that hearing I am a bad mom in my secondish week of doing it ever is a fun thing.. but really now.. the kid was barely in high school


----------



## Smokering

I got this from my flatmate (male, 28): "I always thought women got morning sickness at the _end_ of pregnancy".

Non-malicious and all, so definitely not the _worst_ thing I've ever heard, but... HOW COULD YOU THINK THAT FOR 28 YEARS?? I'm SURE he's seen the occasional movie or TV show where the _non-visibly pregnant woman_ is puking into a toilet. I mean... come on.


----------



## Kelly1101

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
My coworker told me today that she knew a woman who's baby was born at 7 1/2 months because she used a heating pad when she was pregnant and it dried up all her amniotic fluid.







She also said that she was screamed at once by a Sears employee who found out that she used a heating pad on her back in pregnancy and that's when she found out that it would dry up your amniotic fluid. Even if that were true, who does the Sears person think she is, screaming at some random person for using a heating pad ONCE for a backache? My coworker seemed to think it was ok, since it was oh so dangerous, that it's justified to yell at a stranger about it.

I asked her if the blood dried up in her arm when she used a heating pad on it. She rolled her eyes and said it's not the same thing.









I would probably have been on the floor, dying of laughter, by the end of this conversation. "It's not the same thing." Oh my lord


----------



## Novus

For some background, DS has oddly colored eyes. One is blue with just a tiny bit of brown in it, but the other one looks blue or green or hazel, depending on the lighting, the angle you're looking at him, and the color of his clothing. So the other day, we were at the store and a random woman stopped to talk to us and was trying to decide what color his eyes were:

Woman: Hm, that one's blue. But this one looks...kinda...what would you call that?
Me: I'm not really sure. It looks different depending on how you look at it.
Woman: You know, if you put some blue food coloring in it, that'll clear right up. I had to do that with my daughter when she was a baby and her eyes went from brown to blue.


----------



## neverdoingitagain

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Novus* 
For some background, DS has oddly colored eyes. One is blue with just a tiny bit of brown in it, but the other one looks blue or green or hazel, depending on the lighting, the angle you're looking at him, and the color of his clothing. So the other day, we were at the store and a random woman stopped to talk to us and was trying to decide what color his eyes were:

Woman: Hm, that one's blue. But this one looks...kinda...what would you call that?
Me: I'm not really sure. It looks different depending on how you look at it.
Woman: You know, if you put some blue food coloring in it, that'll clear right up. I had to do that with my daughter when she was a baby and her eyes went from brown to blue.









































yeah thats all I got. What do you say to that?


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Novus* 

Woman: Hm, that one's blue. But this one looks...kinda...what would you call that?
Me: I'm not really sure. It looks different depending on how you look at it.
Woman: You know, if you put some blue food coloring in it, that'll clear right up. I had to do that with my daughter when she was a baby and her eyes went from brown to blue.































I have no words


----------



## sleepingbeauty

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Novus* 
For some background, DS has oddly colored eyes. One is blue with just a tiny bit of brown in it, but the other one looks blue or green or hazel, depending on the lighting, the angle you're looking at him, and the color of his clothing. So the other day, we were at the store and a random woman stopped to talk to us and was trying to decide what color his eyes were:

Woman: Hm, that one's blue. But this one looks...kinda...what would you call that?
Me: I'm not really sure. It looks different depending on how you look at it.
Woman: You know, if you put some blue food coloring in it, that'll clear right up. I had to do that with my daughter when she was a baby and her eyes went from brown to blue.































And she was serious?? Whoa.


----------



## St. Margaret

wha? I have to think sometimes there are people who just love to say the craziest things they can think up, just to mess with people...


----------



## sioleabha

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AFWife* 
Coworker: No! You MUST start solids at 6 months. I know, I worked in a daycare!!

DH: *to me later* Yeah, because being a daycare worker means that you know everything about early childhood development...

Sigh. I worked in a daycare / preschool, too. One of the other teachers was fired and subsequently investigated for "punishing" toddlers by stomping on their feet. Obviously the mere fact of having worked in a daycare does not mean you have half a clue about children.

I once had a doctor tell me that my daughter being allergic to one of the ingredients in a vaccine was no reason not to give it to her, and he had never heard of such a thing. Scary!

For some reason another doctor we see feels the need to grill my daughter about her homeschool schedule, and tried to tell her that she needs to start school earlier in the day. Grrr. Made me really want to invite him to come over and try to get seven kids fed and dressed, and all of their chores done earlier so we can start school when *he* thinks we should!

I have had a *lot* of comments from total strangers about how many kids we have, culminating in the guy who ran the carousel at RenFaire insisting that my kids would hate me when they grow up, and refusing to accept my assurance that my kids love having so many brothers and sisters. There was also the grocery store checker who told me that if I was her daughter she'd kill me (for having four kids), and the sales clerk at a department store who said I should let my SIL "have the next one" when I tried to "defend" myself saying that my SIL had a bunch of kids, too (which is weird because ultimately SIL and I gave birth the same number of times, though not the same number of kids, and after the last one she joked that she was done and I "won." LOL.)

Once, a guy at church told me that my kids would get diabetes if I let them eat a donut. My kids eat healthy all day every day, so I really don't think one treat at church is going to kill them.

We're pretty lucky that we don't have to deal with bad advice from our friends and family. My husband's family is just as "weird" as we are, and my MIL and SIL will roll their eyes at stupid advice with me, and everyone else we know agrees with some stuff and accepts the rest.


----------



## momtoS

My SIL (who has no children) told me she wouldn't bother breastfeeding, because formula is the same. She said that they wouldn't make it isn't the same as breastmilk. And breastmilk has too much sugar in it!


----------



## greenmulberry

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sioleabha* 

I have had a *lot* of comments from total strangers about how many kids we have, culminating in the guy who ran the carousel at RenFaire insisting that my kids would hate me when they grow up, and refusing to accept my assurance that my kids love having so many brothers and sisters. There was also the grocery store checker who told me that if I was her daughter she'd kill me (for having four kids), and the sales clerk at a department store who said I should let my SIL "have the next one" when I tried to "defend" myself saying that my SIL had a bunch of kids, too (which is weird because ultimately SIL and I gave birth the same number of times, though not the same number of kids, and after the last one she joked that she was done and I "won." LOL.)


When people start making comments like these about things they clearly do not understand, I nod my head and say, "Hmm, that's very interesting. . . " (with a totally uninterested expression) and go along my business.

Really, it is the only thing that keeps me from slapping them! A major pet peeve of mine is unsolicited advice from people who do not know me.


----------



## Lady Lilya

Quote:


Originally Posted by *momtoS* 
My SIL (who has no children) told me she wouldn't bother breastfeeding, because formula is the same. She said that they wouldn't make it isn't the same as breastmilk. And breastmilk has too much sugar in it!

Sounds like someone needs to read the history of how formula was developed. It wasn't at all done by trying to make the closest possible match to breastmilk. It was done by giving sugar syrup, and then tweaking it over generations to see what additions made for the better results.


----------



## ramlita

oops...


----------



## ramlita

I've seen it described here, but never heard it from anybody who really believed it:

A new mom just told me about all the projects she wished she could have done when she was pregnant, but didn't, because she couldn't raise her arms over her head.
How could anyone ever think that the position of a mom's arms could affect the umbilical cord inside???


----------



## LZP

*ramlita*- when I was about 3 mos pg, my mom said to me, "Be careful honey, no reaching, no bending, and no lifting." when I told her about re-arranging the kitchen cabinets.

I just said, "I didnt break my back, Mom, I'm pregnant." She said when she was pg, her doctor told her not to do any of the things listed above. weird

She also told me that one of my primary jobs as a parent was to teach my child independence. She would say this often while DD was still in utero, and still sometimes brings it up. She's right. Kids are waaay too needy. Feed yourself, A.









eta: my mom was really loving and caring as a parent, so that's why it's so surprising to hear these things! I was always very loved and showered with positive attention.... and otherwise, she is VERY smart, too. Many in her generation were of this mentality I think.


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LZP* 
" She said when she was pg, her doctor told her not to do any of the things listed above. weird
.

Part of my discharge paperwork for a complication free vaginal birth was not to drive for 2 weeks...I didn't understand that one.


----------



## crunchy_mommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AFWife* 
Part of my discharge paperwork for a complication free vaginal birth was not to drive for 2 weeks...I didn't understand that one.

Owwww just the thought of that makes me cringe. I could barely sit in a car nevermind DRIVE. Well, my vaginal birth was not entirely complication-free but I figured everyone had a lot of pain afterwards???


----------



## Evergreen

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AFWife* 
Part of my discharge paperwork for a complication free vaginal birth was not to drive for 2 weeks...I didn't understand that one.

I got this advice too from my homebirth midwife. When I kind of chuckled at her she said it's because your reflexes slow and you could get into an accident and some insurance companies actually won't pay if that happens. I don't know if it's true or not but I had a 3 year old at the time and needed to get her out of the house occasionally so I only complied for the first week or so.


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *crunchy_mommy* 
Owwww just the thought of that makes me cringe. I could barely sit in a car nevermind DRIVE. Well, my vaginal birth was not entirely complication-free but I figured everyone had a lot of pain afterwards???

I was sore...but not THAT sore.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Evergreen* 
I got this advice too from my homebirth midwife. When I kind of chuckled at her she said it's because your reflexes slow and you could get into an accident and some insurance companies actually won't pay if that happens. I don't know if it's true or not but I had a 3 year old at the time and needed to get her out of the house occasionally so I only complied for the first week or so.

My mother (I was staying there at the time) took it to the extreme...like, I couldn't get behind the wheel for a month. Even supervised!


----------



## ramlita

Funny, I was so loopy for a few weeks after each baby was born that it wasn't a good idea for me to drive- but nobody ever told me not to!

I have read that heavy lifting can be stressing on very-pregnant bodies, especially those prone to preterm labor, but... at three months?

That is what's weird about this stuff- it can come from otherwise sensible, well educated people. That mom who wouldn't hang up laundry or framed art, etc, is a psychiatrist


----------



## accountclosed2

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AFWife* 
Part of my discharge paperwork for a complication free vaginal birth was not to drive for 2 weeks...I didn't understand that one.

Goodness. Among all the booklets and notices we got when we left the hospital was the info sheet from the physio. It included all these exercises, most of them to be done on all fours, and of course the pelvic flour exercises. And they adviced you to start doing these exercises on day 2 or 3! Unless you'd had a c-section, in which case you'd be only two weeks behind the other mothers, or something similar.

I had a vaginal birth ("normal" according to the hospital, although my midwife would say very unusual, very long and my body reacted opposite to expected to most things), with a small episiotomy to finally help baby out. I couldn't even lift my arms for 2 or 3 days, and couldn't hold DD to the breast, I needed help. It took a week before I was strong enough to walk outside the house without support, and by then I was still sitting on a rubber ring.

It took over 6 months before I could do pelvic floor exercises (which I had done all through pregnancy) without tensing every muscle from my knees to my chest. I couldn't differentiate between a full bladder and a tummy ache, and often when I bled I would think I had wet myself (which never actually happened). When I later asked my midwife about that she said that would be because of the episiotomy.


----------



## Honey693

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AFWife* 
Part of my discharge paperwork for a complication free vaginal birth was not to drive for 2 weeks...I didn't understand that one.

I would have gone nutty. With both kids I was out the next day and driving a day or two after.


----------



## thatgirliknew

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AFWife* 
Part of my discharge paperwork for a complication free vaginal birth was not to drive for 2 weeks...I didn't understand that one.

They told me that too. And I told them that was impossible because my husband had to go to work the next day and I was the only person who could drive. She said "You can't drive on painkillers!" I told her "I know, I'm not going to take any painkillers so I can drive him to work just fine." She stuck her fingers in her ears and went "lalala I'm not listening." I mean what could the doctor have done? Kept me for two weeks?


----------



## InMediasRes

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AislinCarys* 
Goodness. Among all the booklets and notices we got when we left the hospital was the info sheet from the physio. It included all these exercises, most of them to be done on all fours, and of course the pelvic flour exercises. And they adviced you to start doing these exercises on day 2 or 3! Unless you'd had a c-section, in which case you'd be only two weeks behind the other mothers, or something similar.

I had a vaginal birth ("normal" according to the hospital, although my midwife would say very unusual, very long and my body reacted opposite to expected to most things), with a small episiotomy to finally help baby out. I couldn't even lift my arms for 2 or 3 days, and couldn't hold DD to the breast, I needed help. It took a week before I was strong enough to walk outside the house without support, and by then I was still sitting on a rubber ring.

It took over 6 months before I could do pelvic floor exercises (which I had done all through pregnancy) without tensing every muscle from my knees to my chest. I couldn't differentiate between a full bladder and a tummy ache, and often when I bled I would think I had wet myself (which never actually happened). When I later asked my midwife about that she said that would be because of the episiotomy.

I had a decent episiotomy (wouldn't say I really agreed to it







) and I had some similar problems. I had a lot of pain right at the site for a long time too and I was really worried for a while that DTD would never be normal again.

I could barely move for a few days after DS's birth. I don't think it was just that though - I also had an epi at the last second (wouldn't have if I'd known it was the last second







) and had to push on my back. I think with an epidural, you have no idea what you're pushing on, so you just use every muscle in your whole body to do it. I don't know if it was the 10 hours of transition or the pushing with all my might against everything that caused me so much pain, but good grief...

So glad it turned out better the next time. I delivered DD on a birthing stool and had a teeny tiny tear that barely needed one stitch. I was driving and doing pretty much everything within a few days.

No one told me not to drive either.


----------



## Magali

The lady who did my dd's heel prick test told me "don't spoil her too much!" when I wouldn't put my screaming day old baby back into the plastic hospital bassinet and wheel her back to my room and preffered to carry her in my arms so I could comfort her. Oh, and she also assured me that all babies cry for the heel prick...not just mine







...ya think?


----------



## Blueone

I was essentially told, not in these exact words, to ignore the fact that my son was advanced and that I base too much on it







. I was really offended. I was just talking about the things I've noticed him do and how it bothered me that my family compared a cousins child to mine. Obviously I am proud of him, but I'd be proud of him regardless of it and for the most part I don't notice it unless he's around a lot of other kids his age.


----------



## crunchy_mommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Magali* 
The lady who did my dd's heel prick test told me "don't spoil her too much!" when I wouldn't put my screaming day old baby back into the plastic hospital bassinet and wheel her back to my room and preffered to carry her in my arms so I could comfort her.

The hospital I delivered at (for which I have a mile-long list of grievances) had a rule that no one -- moms/dads, staff, etc. -- was allowed to walk carrying a baby in the hallways. You had to push them in the plastic carts. They said the floors were slippery and you might trip & drop the baby.


----------



## minkajane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *crunchy_mommy* 
The hospital I delivered at (for which I have a mile-long list of grievances) had a rule that no one -- moms/dads, staff, etc. -- was allowed to walk carrying a baby in the hallways. You had to push them in the plastic carts. They said the floors were slippery and you might trip & drop the baby.









My hospital had the same rule, but they said it was because that way they knew something weird was going on if someone was carrying a baby. It was a security thing. I still thought it was







.


----------



## sleepingbeauty

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
My hospital had the same rule, but they said it was because that way they knew something weird was going on if someone was carrying a baby. It was a security thing. I still thought it was







.


----------



## Petie1104

Ok, this one just happened on another forum, which has since convinced me not to go there anymore....

I was mentioning that I was a non-punitive parent, it was pertinent to the question I was asking. So someone asked what that meant and I explained that it means I don't use punishments, such as spanking and time-outs. That I use natural and logical consequences, nothing punitive.

A lady responded and said, "I can't believe that you would say that time-outs are punitive, how rude"

???????? ummm I was actually concerned that there was another meaning to punitive I wasn't aware of and went to the dictionary to double check. Yeah, ummm, punitive, "serving for, concerned with, inflicting punishment". So if a time-out is a punishment it's punitive. I told her that, and she was still thoroughly offended that I considered her punishment to be punitive.


----------



## Petie1104

Just remembered another one. DD was having a complete meltdown in a store and it got bad enough I had to restrain her. A guy walking by stopped and stared, I just (well tried to be polite) told him that she is autistic. He said, "maybe if you spanked her she wouldn't be".

Ummmm, HUH!!


----------



## CallMeMommy

I had a hospital birth and was never told not to drive. Huh. Even after major abdominal surgery the surgeon "recommended" not driving for 6 weeks but realized that the majority of their patients were driving after 2 weeks (wink wink, nudge nudge).


----------



## Evergreen

Quote:


Originally Posted by *crunchy_mommy* 
The hospital I delivered at (for which I have a mile-long list of grievances) had a rule that no one -- moms/dads, staff, etc. -- was allowed to walk carrying a baby in the hallways. You had to push them in the plastic carts. They said the floors were slippery and you might trip & drop the baby.









The hospital here has that rule also. I think it's one of the (but not *the)* stupidest rules they have. Although, I guess if someone was trying to steal the baby they wouldn't be able to get away as quickly if they were pushing rather than carrying. Of course, mom and dad/baby have bracelets and they only deliver about one baby per day so I think they'd know if the adult didn't belong to the baby.


----------



## InMediasRes

Quote:


Originally Posted by *crunchy_mommy* 
The hospital I delivered at (for which I have a mile-long list of grievances) had a rule that no one -- moms/dads, staff, etc. -- was allowed to walk carrying a baby in the hallways. You had to push them in the plastic carts. They said the floors were slippery and you might trip & drop the baby.









It's amazing people aren't just tripping all over themselves all the time there.









Our hospital told me that I couldn't carry DS while walking because of possible fainting or weakness after delivery. They would allow me to hold him and carry him wherever I wanted while being pushed in a wheel chair, however. TBH, I'm glad they didn't let me walk out to the car when I asked. I think I overestimated my own ability post-delivery.


----------



## Evergreen

Nobody is allowed to carry a newborn out of our hospital. Even adoptive parents bringing their babies home have to use a wheelchair.


----------



## 3xMama

When I was pregnant with DD, I stopped into a McDonalds to eat (def NOT a norm, then or now-I was sick, had had a licensing exam, was 8 mos preggo and a good two hrs from hm, I was braindead and starving and that's all there was). I went inside to eat and ordered the two cheeseburger meal without the meat since I was a vegetarian at the time. The guy who took my order began to lecture me on how I needed to eat meat or else I would be depriving my child of essential nutrients and her brain wouldn't properly form. And, of course, the high quality meat in fast food is a great way to get that. I wish I had had more presence of mind to come up with something really slighting to say back, but I wasn't in good shape that day. In case your curious, her brain formed perfectly normally and she's a happy healthy lil girl.







I think that's the only real remark I've ever gotten from a stranger.

My "favorite" from my MIL was when she told me that I needed to just leave my (at the time) 8 mo DS with her so he could get used to her. My DS is very mama oriented and doesn't take well to being held by anyone else. So at 8 mos old I should leave my baby with her, while he cries the whole time, just so that he can get used to her?? She's also just walked away with him and flat out refused to give him back when he cries for me, because he "just needs to get used to her".


----------



## minkajane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Evergreen* 
Nobody is allowed to carry a newborn out of our hospital. Even adoptive parents bringing their babies home have to use a wheelchair.

OMG, that's hilarious!


----------



## dakotablue

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Petie1104* 
Just remembered another one. DD was having a complete meltdown in a store and it got bad enough I had to restrain her. A guy walking by stopped and stared, I just (well tried to be polite) told him that she is autistic. He said, "maybe if you spanked her she wouldn't be".

Ummmm, HUH!!

























You gotta just laugh. Wow now why didn't I think of that, no need to go to college after all.









Just for not decking the guy, I'm in a great mood today and this makes me laugh, other days...Well, like I said Good for you!


----------



## Smokering

Our hospital/birthing centre said they wouldn't discharge us if we didn't have a carseat. We didn't have a _car_.







As it turned out we did have a carseat, and Mum picked us up from both the hospital and birthing centre - but what if we hadn't? We were close enough we could have walked home, theoretically. Would they have actually refused to let us leave if we'd just popped our baby in a pram or sling and walked home? Who knows, but I thought it was a strange rule.


----------



## Petie1104

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Smokering* 
Our hospital/birthing centre said they wouldn't discharge us if we didn't have a carseat. We didn't have a _car_.







As it turned out we did have a carseat, and Mum picked us up from both the hospital and birthing centre - but what if we hadn't? We were close enough we could have walked home, theoretically. Would they have actually refused to let us leave if we'd just popped our baby in a pram or sling and walked home? Who knows, but I thought it was a strange rule.

Our hospital where we had ds2 was the same way. DH asked though cause he really doesn't have a brain mouth filter at all. They told him that yes, they could allow me to leave, but they would refuse to discharge ds if we didn't show him in his carseat. He asked if they ever had to do it, yes, they had. Of course, this was a military hospital so I'm not sure about civilian hospitals, if they would do the same thing.


----------



## Smokering

Very strange. Can it be legal? I mean, it's illegal to deprive a child of the necessities of life, I think, so I guess if they could prove you didn't have... er, breastmilk or access to formula... they could keep the baby for its own safety. But SURELY it's not enshrined in law that a family must have a car, and therefore a piece of equipment only necessary if you have one. It sounds fishy to me.

Oh well, I guess it's just as well they didn't ask us if we had a cot.


----------



## minkajane

It's probably one of those assumed rules. Like when they tell you it's illegal to homebirth or that you can't possibly enroll your kid in school without vaxes or the eye goop is required by law and you can't decline it. They assume it's illegal or mandatory or whatever because it's never been questioned.


----------



## Fyrestorm

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Smokering* 
Our hospital/birthing centre said they wouldn't discharge us if we didn't have a carseat. We didn't have a _car_.







As it turned out we did have a carseat, and Mum picked us up from both the hospital and birthing centre - but what if we hadn't? We were close enough we could have walked home, theoretically. Would they have actually refused to let us leave if we'd just popped our baby in a pram or sling and walked home? Who knows, but I thought it was a strange rule.

I wonder what they do in places like NYC? Most people I know took a cab or subway to the hospital...hmmm


----------



## sammymama

This is not about one specific comment, but rather an experience with a "baby photographer" yesterday: my mom's local photo store was running a special for baby Halloween pics so we went to check it out with DD in her little costume. Stats on her: she is 14 mos old, definitely in a stranger-wariness phase, but is also a complete ham for the camera. Anyway, not *1* minute after walking into the room, this baby photographer swooped over to us, literally grabbed DD out of my arms, plunked her down on this bail of hay, then squeezed her cheeks and said waaay too loudly, OK, GIVE US BIG SMILES NOW!!!! and started popping the flash bulb at her.

I was definitely shocked, and my poor DD *burst* into tears and that was it for the photo shoot - she would not let go of me, especially as the baby photog continued to be loud and in her face, saying my DD just "needed some time to warm up". Knowing my kid, I simply said, oh ,today's probably not the best day for us, sorry about that - and this woman looked at me with this unbelievable look of disapproval - and then (icing on the cake) murmured to my mom that I really needed to learn to be more patient when it came to babies.

Sigh - some people...


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sammymama* 
This is not about one specific comment, but rather an experience with a "baby photographer" yesterday: my mom's local photo store was running a special for baby Halloween pics so we went to check it out with DD in her little costume. Stats on her: she is 14 mos old, definitely in a stranger-wariness phase, but is also a complete ham for the camera. Anyway, not *1* minute after walking into the room, this baby photographer swooped over to us, literally grabbed DD out of my arms, plunked her down on this bail of hay, then squeezed her cheeks and said waaay too loudly, OK, GIVE US BIG SMILES NOW!!!! and started popping the flash bulb at her.

I was definitely shocked, and my poor DD *burst* into tears and that was it for the photo shoot - she would not let go of me, especially as the baby photog continued to be loud and in her face, saying my DD just "needed some time to warm up". Knowing my kid, I simply said, oh ,today's probably not the best day for us, sorry about that - and this woman looked at me with this unbelievable look of disapproval - and then (icing on the cake) murmured to my mom that I really needed to learn to be more patient when it came to babies.

Sigh - some people...

My DH did children/baby photography for a LONG time...I told him the first paragraph and he immediately started shaking his head. I said, "You can guess how the photo shoot ended up." and he just kept shaking his head.


----------



## treeoflife3

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sammymama* 
This is not about one specific comment, but rather an experience with a "baby photographer" yesterday: my mom's local photo store was running a special for baby Halloween pics so we went to check it out with DD in her little costume. Stats on her: she is 14 mos old, definitely in a stranger-wariness phase, but is also a complete ham for the camera. Anyway, not *1* minute after walking into the room, this baby photographer swooped over to us, literally grabbed DD out of my arms, plunked her down on this bail of hay, then squeezed her cheeks and said waaay too loudly, OK, GIVE US BIG SMILES NOW!!!! and started popping the flash bulb at her.

I was definitely shocked, and my poor DD *burst* into tears and that was it for the photo shoot - she would not let go of me, especially as the baby photog continued to be loud and in her face, saying my DD just "needed some time to warm up". Knowing my kid, I simply said, oh ,today's probably not the best day for us, sorry about that - and this woman looked at me with this unbelievable look of disapproval - and then (icing on the cake) murmured to my mom that I really needed to learn to be more patient when it came to babies.

Sigh - some people...

If some stranger ran over and grabbed my child out of my arms without permission, they would be getting a huge piece of my mind. Don't care if they are a photographer, it better be a life or death situation to grab my child from me. I can't even imagine! That photographer definitely would have been left to think about how grossly inappropriate it is to grab a child from their parents, squeeze their faces, and be particularly loud around them when you are a STRANGER to the child.

heck, my mom and grandma won't even try to hold my kiddo when they come visit because its always a couple months at least between visits and they want to make sure she remembers them before doing anything so as not to scare her.


----------



## MariesMama

Along the lines of the heating pad/amniotic fluid story ... I went tanning when I was probably about 6 months pregnant or so. I know it's terribly unhealthy, but it was winter and I really craved the warmth and light. I was informed by a coworker that I would cook my baby inside of me if I went to the tanner, similar to being in a MICROWAVE.

Um. What? How would that even work?


----------



## minkajane

My teacher announced in class the other day during our Pediatric Assessment chapter that if a baby walks too early (as in before a year) they will be at higher risk of bowed legs. She couldn't exactly explain how you're supposed to stop a baby from walking, but several students suggested (in all seriousness!) pushing the baby down or keeping them in a walker or bouncer all the time.

This can NOT be right. DS used to love holding my hands and bouncing while standing from the time he was a few months old. I have known plenty of kids who walked before a year and there's no epidemic of bowed legs.


----------



## Angelorum

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
My teacher announced in class the other day during our Pediatric Assessment chapter that if a baby walks too early (as in before a year) they will be at higher risk of bowed legs. She couldn't exactly explain how you're supposed to stop a baby from walking, but several students suggested (in all seriousness!) pushing the baby down or keeping them in a walker or bouncer all the time.

This can NOT be right. DS used to love holding my hands and bouncing while standing from the time he was a few months old. I have known plenty of kids who walked before a year and there's no epidemic of bowed legs.

nak

I think a lack of vit d can cause soft bones which can lead to bowed legs, but yeah, early walking's not the culprit


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
My teacher announced in class the other day during our Pediatric Assessment chapter that if a baby walks too early (as in before a year) they will be at higher risk of bowed legs. She couldn't exactly explain how you're supposed to stop a baby from walking, but several students suggested (in all seriousness!) pushing the baby down or keeping them in a walker or bouncer all the time.

This can NOT be right. DS used to love holding my hands and bouncing while standing from the time he was a few months old. I have known plenty of kids who walked before a year and there's no epidemic of bowed legs.

DH's aunt would get all freaked out that DS wanted to stand assisted around 3-4 months old. She wouldnt' let him do it and got on to us for letting him...because it would bow his legs.

Yeah, he's 18mo and no bow!


----------



## LiLStar

psh, my ds walked at 10 months, and stood *unassisted* (pics to prove it) at 6 months. perfect legs!


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
My teacher announced in class the other day during our Pediatric Assessment chapter that if a baby walks too early (as in before a year) they will be at higher risk of bowed legs. She couldn't exactly explain how you're supposed to stop a baby from walking, but several students suggested (in all seriousness!) pushing the baby down or keeping them in a walker or bouncer all the time.

I hope the teacher crushed those ideas. Pelvic issues (bones, fertility, who knows what all) are a LOT worse than bowed legs even if walking early had anything to do with bowed legs. If I saw a kid with bowed legs, I'd assume they'd been stuck in a jumper or walker for too long.

It's like the people who say to turn the car seat to avoid broken legs.


----------



## minkajane

My teacher's the one who said the bowed legs thing and she just laughed at the idea of keeping the kid in the bouncer or pushing him down.


----------



## 3 little birds

My MIL when she found out we were ecing, "But babies like sitting in wet diapers!" (Did a baby tell her this?)

My mother, "You can't raise kids without a microwave." She was really upset about this-even cried.

My FIL on putting his kids to bed-"I just locked them in their room until they cried themselves to sleep."


----------



## A_Random_Phrase

Quote:


Originally Posted by *InMediasRes* 
I don't get the big deal about teeth. I've had a lot of comments from people who seem to think it's sad when kids teethe late. My DS got his first at 11mo, and DD just got hers at almost 10mo.

I mean, I guess if I was going to give my 6mo pistachios or something... otherwise, I don't think they're really deprived.

My child who got teeth at four months had to have braces. My child who got teeth at 13 months has perfect teeth.

I was at a friend's house and they offered me something to eat. I forget what it was. I said no, "because my baby doesn't like it." (It gave her gas pains.) He stared at me and said, "She doesn't have to eat it." lol (he was a wonderful man, though - just didn't know enough about breastfeeding.)


----------



## A_Random_Phrase

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RoseDuperre* 
Time for some Holiday Hijinks in this thread. Nothing MAJOR here but annoying nonetheless. My MIL literally poured SODA into Lily's (20 month old) mouth today. Lily ONLY drinks water, and was _in the process_ of drinking and enjoying some when Grandma came on over and said "Here, try some pop!" I said something about oh, she's just having some water, and MIL literally said (to Lily, not me, of course) "Come on, try it! It's better!"
. . .
Anyway, so when it came to the soda, I literally froze. DP wasn't in the room, but his little brother had the sense to say "Come on, Mom, she doesn't need soda." She replied "It's Sierra Mist. It doesn't have caffeine," (yeah, because that's the only issue) and then tried to give her more! Lily wanted nothing to do with it. Good for her, but why did she have to even have that first gulp???

When my oldest was a baby, a lady took us to a fast food restaurant. She was buying and wanted to buy a soda for my baby. When I said, no, she told my baby that mama is mean. My baby had no clue what she was saying (wasn't old enough to know).


----------



## A_Random_Phrase

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kalirush* 
I know someone that that happened to... she didn't nurse for a year, though- maybe 8 months? She had not so much boobs before, and seriously practically no boobs after- like, did NOT need to wear a bra, ever. I dropped a cup size from my pre-baby size after I weaned my first. They plumped back up, though, eventually. Then I got pregnant again, and we're back on the rollercoaster.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *2xy* 
I was small-busted to begin with, but I definitely got smaller after having children. I used to joke that it was why I stopped at two kids....so my chest wouldn't become concave.









Lucky you. I went up to an F/EE when I was pregnant/nursing and am still a cup size bigger than I was pre-pregnant (14 years after my last baby).


----------



## Angelorum

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Rodeo Mama* 
I had a DOCTOR tell me something was wrong with me because I haven't had a period yet.







DS is only 6 months old.....it's really not that weird. For the record, I was at urgent care for a completely different issue. The doc was a wacko and said a variety of totally ridiculous things.

I had to go in for a pap smear when ds was 7 or 8 months. The nurse seemed a little surprised when I told her my last period was over a year ago due to being pregnant and breastfeeding. I was looking at my chart later and was sort of miffed to see that it said I had "irregular menses". Uh, no, I have Lactational Ammenorhea, totally not the same thing. I was quite regular when I was cycling. Makes me wonder what they would say now that it's been over 2 years since I've had a period


----------



## A_Random_Phrase

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
Am I the only one who got bigger after nursing? I was an A pre-DS, I had lovely C-cups when I was nursing (screw nutrition, I nursed for two years for the BOOBS!







), and now I have good solid B's. Maybe it was because I was kinda young (21) when I had DS? I'm looking forward to seeing what happens after the next kid - I'd love to have C's!

I went from a C at the beginning (pre-marriage) to a D at the end of weaning, even when I was skinnier than I'd been in my adult life (with F/EE in between, as mentioned above).


----------



## A_Random_Phrase

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BlueWolf* 
Every time I see DHs grandmother she asks "Is that baby crawling yet?!" I'm pretty sure my DD will skip crawling and go straight to walking. Well, DHs grandmother insists that she HAS TO crawl because that was what the doctors told her when she had her babies... back in the 60s. I've had this conversation with our pedi and he thinks she's right on track developmentally and not all babies crawl. Yet it doesn't matter when I tell DHs grandmother this as she starts to spout off that this was a prestigious hospital and they knew what they were talking about, so now I absolutely must make my DD crawl at all costs, even if I have to force her.

All of my children learned to walk at the same time they learned to crawl (real crawling, not scooting on their bellies), but they preferred crawling for a while - except DS, who couldn't seem to understand why he was not born walking.


----------



## A_Random_Phrase

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jammomma* 
Recently a friend of mine told me that I needed to bite my son in order to show him that biting is wrong.























She is totally the polar opposite to me when it comes to parenting. She believes all kids need to spanked, hit, and once she even said that a "punch to the chest" shows a kid who is boss. ugh

We used to be closer friends but now that I have a baby, (her son is 20) all our differences have come to light. She didn't Bf, she thinks I am ruining my son because we co-sleep, and that I should be "spanking" him when he is "bad". I told her, I don't need to spank him because he is never bad.

She actually implied my son will turn out to be a serial killer or something because I don't hit him.







I have never once asked her opinion but she offers it up constantly.

Makes me sad that a friendship of over 10 years and I never realized she had such a deep streak of brutality when it comes to children. Needless to say, my son cries anytime she is around and of course I will never and have never left him alone with her for even a split second.

It's sad to see a longtime friendship fade, but our lives are just so different and our beliefs are so vastly different from one another that I just can't see our friendship going anywhere.

When I was little, my mom was not the spanking kind (she never was) and we had a neighbor that hit her kids all the time (I thought she was mean to them). We moved to the other end of the state when I was 7. I returned when I was 18 (going to college) and went to her house to see how everyone was.

She told me that she couldn't believe how nice, how good my mom's kids had turned out while her did not turn out good (didn't respect her, etc.) when she had done everything right and my mom had done everything wrong!

(I suppose one can't really blame her for her opinion on harshness for kids; my mom was ahead of her time. I was born in 1957 and was the youngest. I don't know where mom got her ideas for parenting. It wasn't from her parents, not by a long shot.)


----------



## A_Random_Phrase

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommatoAandA* 
I had a friend ask me "How can you leave your baby for overnights with your mom for a break when you are breastfeeding?"

UMMM YOU DON'T! LOL Being a mom means YOU are responsible for them.









I had a friend who was real smug that she could leave her daughter because she bottle-fed and I was tied to my kid because she was breastfed. Um. I _*chose*_ to be "tied" to my child. Never regretted nursing, ever.

Some people have the idea that "if they can ask for it, they're too old for it". Well, when I offered the breast to my baby (from tiny-hood on), I'd ask, "Do you want to nurse?" Later, I would shorten it to, "Nurse?" Each one of my three children had the same first word! "Nur." And they asked for it. It was not a mindless game they were playing. They said "nur" when they wanted to nurse. And they were 4 months old when they first articulated this word (each of them). Sorry, old enough to ask for it doesn't cut it.

I wanted to nurse for 2 or three years, but it didn't work out. One lady in a nursing room was really embarrassed that her 2 1/2 year old son was still nursing. I was supportive of her. I wonder if I was the only one.


----------



## A_Random_Phrase

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gbailey* 
A woman on the bus told me how cute DD is but asked me why her ears aren't pierced. I told her I thought she was too young.

Her response? "It hurts when you wait to get it done." I told her it hurts when they're babies too. She told me DD would be prettier with earrings in her ear to show off her face









My step-daughter (only 6 at the time) told me I should pierce DD1's ears. I told her I was going to wait until she was ten (so she could make that decision herself). Some people apparently think you're mean if you don't pierce your baby's ears. To me, it is not a far cry from circing, which I don't believe in.


----------



## A_Random_Phrase

Regarding posts #461-463: I had my picture taken professionally two or three times, but had very little conscious memory of it. As an older teenager or a young adult, I looked at two of the pictures. In one, it looked like I'd been crying. In the other, I looked happy. I said, "In this one, I didn't like the man. In this one, I liked the lady." I had no conscious memory of the sex of the person. Mom looked at me in amazement and verified that the sexes of the photographers were indeed a man and a lady, just as I had said.

It shows me that our babies are definitely conscious, thinking individuals (I couldn't have been more than about two or three) and that child needs to be respected.


----------



## A_Random_Phrase

Hurry! Someone else add to this thread! I'm feeling self-conscious.


----------



## Latte Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
I hope the teacher crushed those ideas. Pelvic issues (bones, fertility, who knows what all) are a LOT worse than bowed legs even if walking early had anything to do with bowed legs. If I saw a kid with bowed legs, I'd assume they'd been stuck in a jumper or walker for too long.It's like the people who say to turn the car seat to avoid broken legs.

Then you'd be assuming very wrong. My DS has bowed legs. They are actually getting better as he gets older but we never had a walker or jumper.
He's never been put in any type of contraption like that.

Sometimes kids just have bowed legs.


----------



## hibiscus mum

Yep to Latte Mama above. My son has one bowed leg. I think it has more to do with how his little body was squished in the womb. He hated the jumperoo and the exersaucer, so it definitely wasn't caused by overuse. I brought it up to the doctor and she said bowed legs are very common and tend to correct themselves by age 2-3.


----------



## Lady Lilya

Quote:


Originally Posted by *A_Random_Phrase* 
I went from a C at the beginning (pre-marriage) to a D at the end of weaning, even when I was skinnier than I'd been in my adult life (with F/EE in between, as mentioned above).

I went from a slightly small B pre-preg, to squarely a C post-nursing. I was probably a D for a while while nursing.

-----

My sister has bowed legs, and I think it was a nutritional issue. She also had horrible scoliosis that needed to be surgically corrected. She ate nothing but Hershey bars and Chips Ahoy cookies for a couple of years of her life, and that is what I think did it to her.

----

Re letting kids sit/stand/walk at an earlier than average age:

I was visiting MIL, and SIL's baby girl, about 4mo, was there that day because MIL was watching her.

MIL kept the baby laying down on her back on the couch all the time, and stood guard to make sure she didn't fall off. The poor little thing was craning her neck all around to try to see things. So I lifted her up and sat her on my lap, leaning back against me. Immediately MIL and FIL flipped out that I had to lay her back down immediately.

The next time I saw SIL and her boyfriend, I jokingly apologised for ruining their baby. They both laughed and rolled their eyes about it.


----------



## CBEmomma

DH and I went out to eat on our anniversary one time and our waitress asked if we had kids, at the time we just had ds1. She told me how she has a child too and that "giving them one good slap solves all problems". I'm pretty sure my eyes got real wide and my mouth dropped. I couldn't believe someone had just said that to me. Yes, I'll slap my ADHD child with sensory issues, that'll sure do a world of good.


----------



## Lit Chick

OMG - slapping _any_ child...

This past weekend my parents had a party since my brother was visiting. 2 of their friends were there - and they are of the slap school of parenting. The first time DH and I met them (before we had kids) the guy bragged about _punching_ his teenager. Needless to say, we don't like them at all.
Anyway, I had my 2 month old in a ring sling, and he was happy as a clam. The woman went up to my DH and told him "didn't she carry him for 9 months already? She'll spoil him." Later, DH was holding DS2 while he napped. The woman went up to him and said he was spoiling the baby.
I find it very interesting that she did not have the nerve to say any of that to my face. Perhaps she knew I would have told her what I thought about parenting advice from trashy abusive trainwrecks.


----------



## angelpie545

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Evergreen* 
Nobody is allowed to carry a newborn out of our hospital. Even adoptive parents bringing their babies home have to use a wheelchair.

This is not always true. My friend carried ds out of the hospital in his carseat. I walked out beside them.


----------



## Evergreen

Quote:


Originally Posted by *angelpie545* 
This is not always true. My friend carried ds out of the hospital in his carseat. I walked out beside them.

That's why I wrote _our_.


----------



## Lady Lilya

I asked around, and everyone I know had to carry their child out in their bucket seat, after hospital staff checked that they had one.


----------



## Smokering

Preventing DD from standing early would have been impossible and cruel and unusual punishment. She stood from, like, day three.







She was one of those strong-neck-and-spine babies that you have to tickle to get them to bend in the middle so you can buckle them into their carseats... if there was a circumstance in which she could be upright, she'd take it. Walked at twelve months. Her legs are fine.

My legs are... not bowed, but kind of wonky... and I attribute it to malnutrition (well, terrible nutrition) during my childhood. Makes me kind of angry with my mother, to be honest. She knew better, she just hated cooking.


----------



## Kelly1101

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lady Lilya* 
I asked around, and everyone I know had to carry their child out in their bucket seat, after hospital staff checked that they had one.

Wow, that's stupid. We didn't have a bucket seat-- we have a convertible car seat that goes from newborn to Forward Facing. Didn't want to buy two seats only to have the baby outgrow the first one in the first year. What did they do if someone had a convertible car seat?


----------



## Evergreen

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kelly1101* 
Wow, that's stupid. We didn't have a bucket seat-- we have a convertible car seat that goes from newborn to Forward Facing. Didn't want to buy two seats only to have the baby outgrow the first one in the first year. What did they do if someone had a convertible car seat?

Panic!!!!


----------



## Kelly1101

Rotfl!


----------



## Amatullah0

yeah, lol, our hospital panicked! they tried to get us to bring the convertible upstairs, and i think they wanted us to carry him out in that, lol. After about a half hour, they realized what a convertible car seat was, and they just made me sit in the wheel chair and hold him while DH got the car, and nurse pushed me. I'm a little surprised that I'm STILL bitter about that, I wanted to be with my DH.


----------



## St. Margaret

We had a convertible, too, and they just walked out with us to be sure we were putting her into a carseat, I guess. They didn't check the seat (and we finally got to our seat check-- I tried scheduling one weeks and weeks before DD was born, but the first appt was maybe a couple weeks to a month after she was born-- anyway, we found out it was not installed right/as well as it could be, so what did the hospital staff know, anyway?!). But the ILs were hovering all around anyway, so whatever, it was kind of nice the staff wanted to be sure we got settled in the car all right-- everything was so new! I agree that most of these rules are silly but then again, so are a lot of parents!


----------



## amyhulen

DD who is almost 6 had a neighbor friend over this evening and at one point asked her if she wanted some water. Her freind who is about 4 years old said "yes, the pepsi kind please" DD sat there trying to figure out what her friend was talking about for a few seconds until I explained to her friend that we don't have pop.

It's some kind of world that we live in today. Kids that don't know that water is for more than just bathing.


----------



## A_Random_Phrase

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lady Lilya* 
I asked around, and everyone I know had to carry their child out in their bucket seat, after hospital staff checked that they had one.

In one hospital, they gave out newborn carseats (they'd only fit the baby for about three months), as long as you signed that you'd give it back. I told them that I might be going back to southern AZ (several hundred miles away) and they let me take it anyway. I suppose they don't do that anymore.


----------



## A_Random_Phrase

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amyhulen* 
DD who is almost 6 had a neighbor friend over this evening and at one point asked her if she wanted some water. Her freind who is about 4 years old said "yes, the pepsi kind please" DD sat there trying to figure out what her friend was talking about for a few seconds until I explained to her friend that we don't have pop.

It's some kind of world that we live in today. Kids that don't know that water is for more than just bathing.

One little girl (about three or four years old) hates to drink water. When someone asked her why, she said, "It makes me pee." (That's the same excuse xh used when I tried to get him to drink more than a cup of water a day.)


----------



## Amatullah0

Quote:


Originally Posted by *A_Random_Phrase* 
One little girl (about three or four years old) hates to drink water. When someone asked her why, she said, "It makes me pee." (That's the same excuse xh used when I tried to get him to drink more than a cup of water a day.)
















I've heard that come out of my mouth too though







some days, you pee so much, you just don't want to deal with it again :roflmao


----------



## A_Random_Phrase




----------



## AFWife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *A_Random_Phrase* 
One little girl (about three or four years old) hates to drink water. When someone asked her why, she said, "It makes me pee." (That's the same excuse xh used when I tried to get him to drink more than a cup of water a day.)

I'm guilty of this







But I'm pregnant so standing up makes me have to pee!


----------



## leighi123

ds takes a gymnastics class and parents watch through 1-way glass in a separate room. There is another mom with a newborn and a 2.5ish yr old. She never brings anything for the older one to do while her brother (5) is in the class.

The 2yr old hit the baby brother, mom SMACKS her hard on the hand and says "we dont hit. Why'd you do that? You hit him and I'll hit you back, we dont hit" And then looked at me as if she wanted me to agree on that. Um what?

Same 2yr old broke my nice, only pair of sunglasses and mom sneaked them back onto the chair next to me and didnt say anything to me.

Another one - I was talking to a lady Im doing some sewing for, and she mentioned how tiny my ds is. I told her he has food allergies that have affected his growth. She noticed that he had on a 'vegetarian' shirt and then commented that I should feed him meat and a lot of milk so that "he can get all the hormones he needs to grow, because they add hormones to those foods you know". Yep, I really want to pump my kid full of hormones. We dont eat meat and arent going to, and he is very allergic to milk!!!


----------



## Kelly1101

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amyhulen* 
DD who is almost 6 had a neighbor friend over this evening and at one point asked her if she wanted some water. Her freind who is about 4 years old said "yes, the pepsi kind please" DD sat there trying to figure out what her friend was talking about for a few seconds until I explained to her friend that we don't have pop.

It's some kind of world that we live in today. Kids that don't know that water is for more than just bathing.

That reminded me of a story my mom told me, a friend of hers was babysitting grandkids, and asked the 4-year-old boy what he wanted to have as a snack. He says solemnly "I'll take the high fructose corn syrup, please."

Apparently his mom doesn't allow him to have anything with HFCS, so he's convinced that it's something REALLY delicious


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## ramlita

reminds me of a friend's kid who came into the kitchen after watching holiday-season TV commercials and exclaimed, "for Christmas I want... Batteries Not Included!!!"


----------



## ToadJode

This thread just helped me get through the past 2 slow days at work. Thank you all so much for the laughs, as well as the jaw-droppers.


----------



## Veronika01

A couple of years ago, there was a story about a needle left in the mothers' body inexplicably ending up in the baby's body. Don't ask me about it, I didn't read the story. So while my father was talking about it, I wondered out loud how that could happen.
My father solemnly says: "The umbilical cord."
Me: (suppressing a giggle) "What? How would a needle pass through the umbilical cord?"
Father: "In the mush."
Me: "What mush?"
Father: "The mush that passes from the mother's body, through the umbilical cord, to feed the baby."
Me: Dying with laughter. Then I explained to him what a placenta is and how it works. He could not believe that there wasn't actual food feeding the baby.


----------



## babygirlie

My friend told me I need to make my girl as fat as possible before she's two because that's when you make all your fat cells. If she gets real fat she is destined to be thin then afterwards all her life because she'll have all these fat burning cells. She's real thin at 18 months and has 2 fat parents. I guess she's destined to be fat because I'm not feeding her enough donuts now?


----------



## mormontreehugger

So I was on the phone recently complaining to my sister about something my mainstream SIL did to me recently (told me I needed to use a blanket to cover up or go somewhere else to nurse my 11 m/o because her kids were staring and they were "too old to see this" now and they were "learning about privacy". Her oldest is 7.)
I usually find an ally in my sister because my SIL has rubbed us both the wrong way several times in the past. But this time she told me she had to agree with SIL. She told me that she would NEVER allow her 4 year old to see me nursing my baby because he would be traumatized and wouldn't know what was going on and wouldn't be able to get that image out of his head.
She then informed me that any child older than 2 should not be allowed to see that sort of thing.

I don't see myself having any kind of meaningful conversation with her any time soon...


----------



## Smokering

Yipes. I mean, I guess I can see a four-year-old being puzzled about breastfeeding if he'd never seen it before. But wouldn't a simple conversation about how mummies make milk and babies can drink from their breasts... you know... fix the issue?

I guess she must think traditional cultures are full of pretty screwed-up adults... I mean, those kids would have seen breastfeeding SEVERAL TIMES A DAY throughout their entire childhoods and beyond! They should all be gibbering in asylums, tormented by images of lactating breasts!


----------



## Kelly1101

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mormontreehugger* 
She told me that she would NEVER allow her 4 year old to see me nursing my baby because he would be traumatized and wouldn't know what was going on


.... guess it wouldn't occur to her to TELL the child what was going on?

I can attest... I saw my mom nursing my baby brother when I was five, many many times. I was not at all traumatized







, kids are actually pretty matter-of-fact about it because they aren't yet viewing boobs as sex objects... it's like "oh, that's how the baby eats? cool. back to my toys now."

I will say one effect of seeing my mom nurse my brother-- when I grew up, breastfeeding seemed like the "normal" thing to do, and before even doing any pre-kid research I assumed I'd nurse my children.


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kelly1101* 
.... guess it wouldn't occur to her to TELL the child what was going on?

I can attest... I saw my mom nursing my baby brother when I was five, many many times. I was not at all traumatized







, kids are actually pretty matter-of-fact about it because they aren't yet viewing boobs as sex objects... it's like "oh, that's how the baby eats? cool. back to my toys now."

I will say one effect of seeing my mom nurse my brother-- when I grew up, breastfeeding seemed like the "normal" thing to do, and before even doing any pre-kid research I assumed I'd nurse my children.


Yep, I nursed in front of a friend's children (6 and 3 at the time) and they were really curious so their mama explained that I make milk from my breasts and that's what the baby eats. (They were mainly formula fed for a personal reason...the oldest WAS BF'd for a few months) The eldest daughter went around exclaiming the rest of the day "When I was a baby I sucked on Mommy's boobies for food too!!" She was so proud. I loved it.


----------



## minkajane

Had an interesting turnaround today. I was at work and overheard a soon-to-be-dad on the phone to a friend complaining about how the doctor won't induce even though they've been asking for weeks and the baby's going to be HUGE (ultrasound estimate at 7 pounds now) and they just can't possibly go to term. The kicker? She's not due until the 26th!!!! You're really trying to induce more than a month early and you're UPSET because the doctor won't??

It was the hardest thing I've ever done to bite my lip and not comment. I don't know what's worse - doctors pressing women to induce because of a "huge" baby or parents pushing for convenience inductions. Either way it's a sad sign of how bad things have gotten, that it's so rare to go into labor naturally or even make it to term.


----------



## AFWife

DS doesn't wear shoes or socks in the house. Period. Mommy doesn't wear them and normally Daddy doesn't either (unless Daddy has his boots on and only because they're a PITA to get on and off) TWO people on T-Day commented, "Where are his socks?!? He's going to catch a cold!!" DH replied, both times, "Yes, because cold causes germs to enter through the feet." (One cousin got all offended and said, "You know what I mean!" and he said, "No, I don't. What do you mean?" and she had no reply)

MIL told me that unless I get DS1 to sleep in his own bed now that DH and I will be in separate beds for the next 4 years. (We've talked about he and DS1 sleeping in a different room for the first few months so that they can actually sleep and can avoid waking every few hours when I feed/change DS2) She also mentioned that maybe with this baby I'll start him sleeping by himself...I told her one of the reasons I co-sleep is that I'm selfish. I don't want to have to wake up fully, get OUT OF BED, try to stay awake for 20mins while a baby eats, and then go back to bed only to do it again 2 hours later (if I'm lucky 2 hours later!) I have insomnia so each time I wake up fully (and after 20mins I would be fully awake) it can take 30mins or more for me to go back to sleep. Yeah, no...I'll just roll over and pop boob in a mouth (and when he gets older he can do like DS1 did and help himself and not wake me at all)


----------



## AFWife

From my dad:

Maybe after this next one you won't be as concerned with doing things all natural.

What?


----------



## SnowSparrow

Not an offensive one, just plain funny: my gran, when my son was young, told me that if I didn't give him cow's milk as a toddler, he'd be a dwarf. Granted, my gran comes from a different time, one when cows milk was actually real milk, but it was still funny. He didn't breastfeed because he was adopted a little later (a bit over a year old), but we didn't want all the hormones and stuff of cows milk, and gran was up in arms about it for AGES.

He's never had cows milk in any great quantity, and at just shy of 16, he's 5'9", so I doubt it's stunted him any. And my gran never got over 5'1" herself, so she's one to talk!


----------



## Lisa1970

I have teenagers so I have years and years of such wonderful advice. I don't even know where to start. But the best advice usually comes from people who do not have children. Like my brother's wife's sister's husband.....when we were visiting my brother, and there was a fireplace with a fire in it and my baby started crawling close to the fire so I picked the baby up and moved baby away and the guy tells me to just let her stick her hand in there, it will teach her a lesson and she will never do it again. Duh!

Let's see, my brother (again, no children) has tons of great advice. He thought our son should never be forced in to doing his homework, never grounded for anything, regardless of what he does, should have locks on his doors when he is 10 yrs old and I should never be in his room, should not have parental controls on his computer and I should not care if my son was looking at porn online as that is normal teen stuff and I should only be worried if my son is not looking at porn.....That the only reason my son does not have a girlfriend is because of me, I need to make sure he has a girlfriend...at 13 yrs old! Oh, and that girlfriend and my son should be given privacy in his bedroom with the door shut. He goes on and on.

Then to my drunk MIL...stuff like whiskey to get babies to sleep, children should not be supervised in the pool. DH and I were rude I guess when we refused to leave our 2 yr old and other child in the pool (that goes to 12 feet deep at the deep end) with no adult supervision. She felt we should be sitting with her, out of view of the pool, visiting and getting drunk with her I guess.

My own mother felt I was "infantacizing" when I still was having my toddler in a car seat. Now my little sister is quite upset that he is **** rearfacing, he just turned 15 months old, she told me this a few weeks ago. She personally had her children forward facing by 2 months old and completely out of carseats by 2 yrs old. She claimed they were too advanced to be in car seats. Whatever.

Oh, my mother told me I should have a hysterectomy after the birth of my first child as it was the best thing she ever did (but for her, after her 4th child) and children are awful anyway so I should not want to have any more.

Did I mention the pediatrician who was in to Ezzo parenting? She was just filling in for the regular ped we had back then. She told us to place the baby's crib in a room and just put him in there and shut the door and refuse to come back until morning no matter how much he cries because he needs to learn we control him, not the other way around. The baby was less than a year old at the time. I know I left that office around when he was a year old but I do not recall exactly how little he was back then.


----------



## Lady Lilya

If we are going to start on Pediatricians, I could go on all day.


----------



## Kelly1101

Holy crap. I guess this being wildly illegal doesn't faze her?
oly

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Lisa1970*
> She personally had her children forward facing by 2 months old and completely out of carseats by 2 yrs old. She claimed they were too advanced to be in car seats. Whatever.


----------



## A_Random_Phrase




----------



## A_Random_Phrase




----------



## UnschoolnMa

Oh Gods, there has been so much! One that really sticks out in my head was the time my OB/GYN during my second pregnancy told me that I would have to stop breastfeeding my 22 mo old asap. When I inquired as to why he thought so? I got .... "It's just not done. It's not healthy. Or appropriate." He could not tell me why it wasn't healthy and he wasn't amused by my thoughts on "appropriate". When I told him I intended to nurse my son even AFTER the new baby came he got really stern with me.

Yeah. Got a new OB ASAP.


----------



## jodieanneanton

When my husband's family found out I was going to BF, MIL said "Good luck. I tried, but wasn't able to because I had cracked nipples." Um, ok. So did I!


----------



## KempsMama

That reminds me of a recent conversation with a friend of mine who is, scarily enough, expecting her first. When breastfeeding came up in the conversation, she said she didn't think she'd be able to. I pressed for the reason why, and she said when her mom tried, she got sick and her milk got hard.....after more probing I figure this must have been mastitis, and explained this did not mean she couldn't breastfeed. She had more excuses after that. To this day when mastits comes up in a conversation, my DH says, you mean your/her milk got hard?


----------



## Lady Lilya

Quote:


> To this day when mastits comes up in a conversation, my DH says, you mean your/her milk got hard?


LOL, DH!


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *KempsMama*
> 
> That reminds me of a recent conversation with a friend of mine who is, scarily enough, expecting her first. When breastfeeding came up in the conversation, she said she didn't think she'd be able to. I pressed for the reason why, and she said when her mom tried, she got sick and her milk got hard.....after more probing I figure this must have been mastitis, and explained this did not mean she couldn't breastfeed. She had more excuses after that. To this day when mastits comes up in a conversation, my DH says, you mean your/her milk got hard?


MIL talks about how her mom couldn't BF because her milk made all of her kids sick...after some more discussion it came out that the youngest was on the "new soy formula" because the regular stuff made him sick. (MIL was put on raw goat milk...and to this day can't handle lots of dairy) No one believes me when I try to explain that it wasn't a problem with her mom, it was that the kids probably had dairy issues like my DS. (and they sure don't believe it was fixable!)


----------



## MusicianDad

"You're going to turn him gay if you let him play with/wear/like that!"









Also in regards to DD "you need to teach her how to obey or she won't do well in life".


----------



## SnowSparrow

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MusicianDad*
> 
> "You're going to turn him gay if you let him play with/wear/like that!"
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Also in regards to DD "you need to teach her how to obey or she won't do well in life".


We get the reverse. My oldest is out and proud (and so is his whole family with him, LOL) and we get, "Oh. Did you let him dress up and wear nailpolish or somehting?"










If only it were that simple. If I'd had more boys, I could have made my own little army of rainbow warriors.

Instead, I have 6 daughters







And a very patient son who's just trying to stay out of the chaos.


----------



## MusicianDad

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *SnowSparrow*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *MusicianDad*
> 
> "You're going to turn him gay if you let him play with/wear/like that!"
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Also in regards to DD "you need to teach her how to obey or she won't do well in life".
> 
> 
> 
> We get the reverse. My oldest is out and proud (and so is his whole family with him, LOL) and we get, "Oh. Did you let him dress up and wear nailpolish or somehting?"
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> If only it were that simple. If I'd had more boys, I could have made my own little army of rainbow warriors.
> 
> Instead, I have 6 daughters
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> And a very patient son who's just trying to stay out of the chaos.
Click to expand...

You can still have your rainbow warriors, just raise the girls as feminists, they are bound to turn into lesbians that way! Then we can get together with our kids and plot to turn the world gay! Think of the parties we could have.


----------



## sarahr

My "best" comments have always been when I was pregnant.

When I was pregnant with dd, and walking outside in a light rain, a stranger called to me that I needed to get an umbrella, so that the baby would stay dry. Umm, other for the amniotic fluid you mean?

When I was pregnant with ds (and not finding out the sex), my mom's friend asked me whether we were having a boy or a girl. I said we were waiting until birth to find out. "Your doctor will let you do that?" she asked.

DS was born at home (as planned), but too quickly for the midwife to get to us. When people find out, the most common question is, "Then who delivered the baby?" I always say he delivered himself, and get a funny look. One person asked who clamped and cut the cord. (that person is a pediatrician, not ours).


----------



## TdotOMom

So, so, so many dumb things have been said in the three years since I had my DD I had to write them out to cleanse my mind

*Inappropriate strangers:*
Newborn in sling at the mall
Random Stranger: "Is your baby breathing?"

We ride transit a lot so I;m getting used to people trying to give my DD candy directly without asking me first, I just take it away right away and say "for later". But one day a man gave my 15 month DD a two dollar coin (Can.$). I've never heard of paying for cuteness. It was so weird. My DH was furious- "Did he think we are too poor- you should have been rude and shoved it back in his hand."
I really think he just wanted to give her somethign cuz she's so cute

-Random Stranger- addresing baby(in wrap) who is NOT fussing
"You aren't comfortable in there are you? Mommy should take you out shouldn't she? Those things arent' safe for you."
-Me: Do you have a problem with my parenting?
-Shouting match on subway. I leave before my stop in tears.

-20 year old when I casually start nursing in front of him: "Is that YOUR baby you are breastfeeding?"

*THE MIL*
-MIL- "Why is she switching sides? Its not like its chocolate and vanilla."
-MIL on carseat before the birth: "The hospital won't let you take the baby home without a carseat.
-"But I'm planning a home birth
-"But what if you have to go to the hospital?
-But we don't have a car
-BUt you have to have a carseat- I'll come get you.

At this point, close to birth, after calling up every taxi company to search for one with a free seat, I really didn't want anyone but DH and me to be with our baby for at least the first day or two. MIL ended up detouring to a kid's store one day and just buying the carseat with me almost in tears in the store.
DD born at home!!! Thank God.

-MIL: Advocate of CIO:"They'll manipulate you"
-MIL (lawyer) on my agony of choosing a daycare: "I'm sure they are all fine- they are governed by the same laws you know: The Day Nusuries Act. Children need to be educated by professionals." Ya, cuz the law fixing everything.
-MIL and My Mom: "Just give DD sugar water for fussiness."
-MIl: Constant refrain is that "Her son( my DH) never did this/that, never had any problems, thrived on formula etc." Umm, he was in daycare from 5 weeks old full time and you have no memories of him doing anything
-Mom and MIl: "You need to teach that baby to be independent"
-My Mom: "They always told me I had to wash my breasts before I could breast feed you guys. You don't wash your breasts before each feeding?

MIL: " Well, I was worried ,but I think you are very brave for doing the homebirth.
ME: "Well, it wasn't bravery. I was more scared of what they'd do to me at the hospital- and I didn't want stitches, laying down etc. I'm phobic about being sewn up.
MIL: Stitches, Oh- its nothing. It doesn't hurt at all."
(it was a weird exchange, because she had just finished telling me how awful her scheduled induction was and how they made her drinkoil so they'd she'd be completely empty for birth and she was so weak and they wouldn't give her any food. But I who kind of breezed through a home birth with no horror stories or bad memories, am "brave".)

-MIL Paranoid about growth: "But How do you know how many ounces she is getting???"
MIL Solid, solids, solids. You need to start her on solids. Why? "I want to feed her. Its so fun to make up the baby food."

MIL and MOm are totally awesome, supportive women, but I really feel bad for the medicalized culture they had/have: so much really wonky logic and lack of questioning.

OCD SIL: "You cannot let that baby run around without a diaper. Everyone in the house is going to be sick."

-African-Canadian Colleague: "You got to hit that baby or they won't they won't learn. "
Me:" We don't believe in that"
-"Black people hit their kids all the time."

-WTF??? Is he like suggesting, its like genetic to hit your children??????

Same guy then, when she starts touching things, starts giving her little slaps on her hand, I was so shocked and uncomfortable I grabbed her and left the room.

The next time I brought her in and he was there, he was in her face trying to be nice and she cried. In front of everyone he said "Your baby doesn't like black people."
My face went bright red. It was so embarrassing. BTW, my boss, who is black has a wonderful rapport with my daughter.

-Childless sister: "Wow. She is always trying to interrupt us when we talk"
Me-"Ya. Not just you. me and anyone. She needs my focus a lot. Especially when I try to talk to DH, she'll say: "No I'm married to mummy"
-Childless sister: "That must mean you guys have a familial past-life relationship"

Lots and lots of people began telling my child she is too old to be breastfeed- at like 1 year already. Including MIL. Really bothers me because it ranges from gentle discouragement to saying things like "Ewww.Nursies are gross."

Blissfully, some of these horrible memories are finally starting fade....But here is one more for the record: Stop the presses: headline in my city's newspaper: "Moms now "allowed" to eat during labour"


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *TdotOMom*
> 
> -My Mom: "They always told me I had to wash my breasts before I could breast feed you guys. You don't wash your breasts before each feeding?


I got this one from my MIL! I was supposed to wash my hands and breasts before I fed him each time.....so, every hour? Yeah, that sounds like a great way to get dry skin and cracks. I've mentioned it before...but when her youngest got thrush after a round of antibiotics the nurses at the hospital made her feel HORRIBLE about it "because it was [her] fault. She obviously didn't wash her hands after using the bathroom and that's how he got thrush."


----------



## gbailey

This morning at the post office...

Lady on line- "that child's hands look cold"

me- "really? what do cold hands look like?" (seriously, i wanted to know)

Lady on line- just cold. it's cold out there. you don't think she needs gloves?

me- she's fine but thanks for your concern.

How can I not find that amusing. My kiddo was in a bundle me and dressed in multiple layers. Hands were only out of the bundle me because we were inside. If anything her hands were probably hot. I wonder what hot hands look like. LOL


----------



## AFWife

I remembered this one: (not direct quotes because I'm going on a story)

DH's childless coworker: I don't think I'll be a SAHM. I don't want my child to have no social skills like yours.

DH: Excuse me?

Coworker: Well, you can't leave him with anyone. (side story: there's a Christmas Party coming up and kids aren't invited...however, you can leave your kids with the children of others that have volunteered to babysit for the night! Yeah...right....) And he gets upset when Kas leaves the room.

DH: Correction. We won't leave him with just anyone. That's stupid. I'm not going to leave my child with someone I've never met. He stays with my mom just fine. And the clingy behavior is developmental and normal, not a result of our parenting. Further more, when we go out he has NO problem going up to other kids to try to play with them and he tries to talk to adults all the time.

*cricket noise*

Seriously? Because we don't just drop our kid off with just anyone it means he's not socialized???


----------



## gbailey

SMH. People come up with the most idiotic generalizations. Good for your DH on letting her have it so politely 

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AFWife*
> 
> I remembered this one: (not direct quotes because I'm going on a story)
> 
> DH's childless coworker: I don't think I'll be a SAHM. I don't want my child to have no social skills like yours.
> 
> DH: Excuse me?
> 
> Coworker: Well, you can't leave him with anyone. (side story: there's a Christmas Party coming up and kids aren't invited...however, you can leave your kids with the children of others that have volunteered to babysit for the night! Yeah...right....) And he gets upset when Kas leaves the room.
> 
> DH: Correction. We won't leave him with just anyone. That's stupid. I'm not going to leave my child with someone I've never met. He stays with my mom just fine. And the clingy behavior is developmental and normal, not a result of our parenting. Further more, when we go out he has NO problem going up to other kids to try to play with them and he tries to talk to adults all the time.
> 
> *cricket noise*
> 
> Seriously? Because we don't just drop our kid off with just anyone it means he's not socialized???


----------



## SnowSparrow

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MusicianDad*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *SnowSparrow*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *MusicianDad*
> 
> "You're going to turn him gay if you let him play with/wear/like that!"
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Also in regards to DD "you need to teach her how to obey or she won't do well in life".
> 
> 
> 
> We get the reverse. My oldest is out and proud (and so is his whole family with him, LOL) and we get, "Oh. Did you let him dress up and wear nailpolish or somehting?"
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> If only it were that simple. If I'd had more boys, I could have made my own little army of rainbow warriors.
> 
> Instead, I have 6 daughters
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> And a very patient son who's just trying to stay out of the chaos.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> You can still have your rainbow warriors, just raise the girls as feminists, they are bound to turn into lesbians that way! Then we can get together with our kids and plot to turn the world gay! Think of the parties we could have.
Click to expand...

Uh oh. The F word. And the L word. All in one sentence! Well, my 11y/o is already spouting feminist philosophy and challenges anyone who tells her "that's only for girls/boys", thanks to myself, her dad and her grandparents. It's only a matter of time before she asks us to call her George and demands an athletic cup for Christmas.


----------



## AFWife

Seriously? People believe that letting a boy touch pink will turn him gay?? So that's why our friends looked confused when I said DS could play dressup with their daughters if he wanted to...


----------



## MusicianDad

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *SnowSparrow*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *MusicianDad*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *SnowSparrow*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *MusicianDad*
> 
> "You're going to turn him gay if you let him play with/wear/like that!"
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Also in regards to DD "you need to teach her how to obey or she won't do well in life".
> 
> 
> 
> We get the reverse. My oldest is out and proud (and so is his whole family with him, LOL) and we get, "Oh. Did you let him dress up and wear nailpolish or somehting?"
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> If only it were that simple. If I'd had more boys, I could have made my own little army of rainbow warriors.
> 
> Instead, I have 6 daughters
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> And a very patient son who's just trying to stay out of the chaos.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> You can still have your rainbow warriors, just raise the girls as feminists, they are bound to turn into lesbians that way! Then we can get together with our kids and plot to turn the world gay! Think of the parties we could have.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> Uh oh. The F word. And the L word. All in one sentence! Well, my 11y/o is already spouting feminist philosophy and challenges anyone who tells her "that's only for girls/boys", thanks to myself, her dad and her grandparents. It's only a matter of time before she asks us to call her George and demands an athletic cup for Christmas.
Click to expand...

The F word, the L word... I have lots of words that mainstream society cringes at. Mwahahaha!

And yeah, DD is a vocal feminist, and DS is slowly being indoctrinated. It's just a matter of time before DS starts demanding that we let him wear skirts and dresses... Wait... Uh, never mind.


----------



## MusicianDad

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AFWife*
> 
> Seriously? People believe that letting a boy touch pink will turn him gay?? So that's why our friends looked confused when I said DS could play dressup with their daughters if he wanted to...


They also believe that letting him play with dolls or show emotions or breastfeed past x number of weeks/months will turn him gay. The last one really confuses me, because we all know the one thing gay men love is breasts.


----------



## goinggreengirl

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MusicianDad*
> 
> They also believe that letting him play with dolls or show emotions or breastfeed past x number of weeks/months will turn him gay. The last one really confuses me, because we all know the one thing gay men love is breasts.


Maybe people think if baby boys breastfeed for too long they are sick of breasts and that's why they are gay...


----------



## SnowSparrow

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *goinggreengirl*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *MusicianDad*
> 
> They also believe that letting him play with dolls or show emotions or breastfeed past x number of weeks/months will turn him gay. The last one really confuses me, because we all know the one thing gay men love is breasts.
> 
> 
> 
> Maybe people think if baby boys breastfeed for too long they are sick of breasts and that's why they are gay...
Click to expand...

DS wasn't BF'ed (adopted @ a bit over 1), our theory is that he didn't get enough boob and he never learned to like it


----------



## MusicianDad

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *goinggreengirl*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *MusicianDad*
> 
> They also believe that letting him play with dolls or show emotions or breastfeed past x number of weeks/months will turn him gay. The last one really confuses me, because we all know the one thing gay men love is breasts.
> 
> 
> 
> Maybe people think if baby boys breastfeed for too long they are sick of breasts and that's why they are gay...
Click to expand...

Anytime I've heard someone bring it up, the reasoning was that the boys get too attached to the breast and that is why they are gay.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *SnowSparrow*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *goinggreengirl*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *MusicianDad*
> 
> They also believe that letting him play with dolls or show emotions or breastfeed past x number of weeks/months will turn him gay. The last one really confuses me, because we all know the one thing gay men love is breasts.
> 
> 
> 
> Maybe people think if baby boys breastfeed for too long they are sick of breasts and that's why they are gay...
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> DS wasn't BF'ed (adopted @ a bit over 1), our theory is that he didn't get enough boob and he never learned to like it
Click to expand...

Well I was BF exclusively for a year and I still don't like boobs. So there goes that theory.


----------



## JudiAU

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *aphel*
> 
> A friend's mom shared the WORST breastfeeding advice EVER with me. Apparently, someone told her that she should toughen her nipples in preparation for bfing . . . . by rubbing them with STEEL WOOL!!!!!! And she did. Poor lady. (she was not, of course, suggesting I do this)


My OB actually suggested this to me. I thought it was the dumbest thing I had ever heard. And it was the reason why I found my midwives. That, and telling me I shouldn't bother trying for natural birth because "no one can" and then they "just beg." So point of fact, I begged for a epidural with my first and thank god because it let me have a vaginal birth due to the circumstances. He would have given an unnecessary c-section. And point of fact, I birthed my own baby by myself the second time around.


----------



## JudiAU

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *A_Random_Phrase*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *kalirush*
> I know someone that that happened to... she didn't nurse for a year, though- maybe 8 months? She had not so much boobs before, and seriously practically no boobs after- like, did NOT need to wear a bra, ever. I dropped a cup size from my pre-baby size after I weaned my first. They plumped back up, though, eventually. Then I got pregnant again, and we're back on the rollercoaster.
> 
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *2xy*
> I was small-busted to begin with, but I definitely got smaller after having children. I used to joke that it was why I stopped at two kids....so my chest wouldn't become concave.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Lucky you. I went up to an F/EE when I was pregnant/nursing and am still a cup size bigger than I was pre-pregnant (14 years after my last baby).


I am about half a size smaller than I was before kids, although sadly deflated, but my sister is still FIVE SIZES bigger. She is the only person I've ever heard of who could nurse a baby *while they were in the co-sleeper* No wonder she loved that thing.


----------



## RoamingWidgeteer

Quote:


> I am about half a size smaller than I was before kids, although sadly deflated, but my sister is still FIVE SIZES bigger. She is the only person I've ever heard of who could nurse a baby *while they were in the co-sleeper* No wonder she loved that thing.


Oh dear! I went from a C to G (I looked like a cartoon amazon from space -ouch!) and have now shrunk back to F. While they are plenty big enough to feed LO from either breast without turning over, I dont think they'd reach a co-sleeper. I really hope I'll go back to a C!


----------



## jodieanneanton

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *RoamingWidgeteer*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> I am about half a size smaller than I was before kids, although sadly deflated, but my sister is still FIVE SIZES bigger. She is the only person I've ever heard of who could nurse a baby *while they were in the co-sleeper* No wonder she loved that thing.
> 
> 
> 
> Oh dear! I went from a C to G (I looked like a cartoon amazon from space -ouch!) and have now shrunk back to F. While they are plenty big enough to feed LO from either breast without turning over, I dont think they'd reach a co-sleeper. I really hope I'll go back to a C!
Click to expand...

I have this same problem. I went from a nice D to an F with dd1 and am now an I! I didn't even know that size existed. I am nursing dd2 and have been continually nursing for almost 3 1/2 years. I plan on having plenty more kids and CLWing all of them, so it will be close to 10 years before I know if I will ever shrink back. I was told I will get smaller, but we will see. Seems like I keep getting bigger.


----------



## McGucks

My ex MIL, upon hearing that I was going to breastfeed DS1, replied "Um, isn't that a little...white trashy?" No joke. She said it. I was there.

My current MIL, though she is very supportive of breastfeeding, asked (when DS 2 was about 6 months and was still EBF) whether he needed to be on a diet since he was in the 95% for weight.


----------



## Stephenie

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *caedenmomma*
> 
> My ex MIL, upon hearing that I was going to breastfeed, replied "Um, isn't that a little...white trashy?" No joke. She said it. I was there.


That reminds me of my grandmother. When my brother was born and my mom was nursing him, she told my mom that "only poor people and "n-words" do that." She's a real winner. She also told me, at my babyshower that I would have to spank my son "because you have to hit boys."


----------



## MusicianDad

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *caedenmomma*
> 
> My ex MIL, upon hearing that I was going to breastfeed, replied "Um, isn't that a little...white trashy?" No joke. She said it. I was there.


"Well I guess I better get me some daisy dukes and a trailer then."


----------



## mommamanjari

When my son was at his first doctor's visit (2 weeks or 1 month, I cant remember) his doctor told me that I need to give him a vitamin D supplement. I asked her how much sun would be ok for him to be exposed to for the vitamin d instead. She told me that they can't recommend any sun for babies. Not 5 minutes later she told me that he had yeast in his diaper rash & I should use anti-fungal cream. I asked what else we could do for it. She told me to put his butt in the sunlight for 5-10 minutes a few times a day! I narrowed my eyes & she got all flustered. His bottom cleared up quickly & we never gave him any extra vitamin d. This same doc was totally surprised that 3 years later my son had never had antibiotics or shots. YEAH, because we avoid going to see her!


----------



## lunarlady

My mother used to always say "if you let them (the kids) sleep in your bed, they will never leave.". Finally, I said "at least we won't have to worry about premarital sex. That would be pretty hard to pull off with us RIGHT THERE." She hasn't said a word since.

My DD (4) rarely sleeps through the night. One of my friends asked if I couldn't take some ambien and pass it through my milk to her so we could both get a good nights sleep. Drugged sleep for a mama of two small, wakeful kids? Seriously? I think she figured my milk would drug them both into dreamland.


----------



## aphel

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *lunarlady*
> 
> My mother used to always say "if you let them (the kids) sleep in your bed, they will never leave.". Finally, I said "at least we won't have to worry about premarital sex. That would be pretty hard to pull off with us RIGHT THERE." She hasn't said a word since.










!!!!

On another note . . . . What is this business about getting your sleeping baby used to loud noise? Whenever I bring up the fact that DD is a light sleeper, someone inevitably makes some comment about how *I* have made her this way. One friend even told me, "Oh, we made sure to bring a dang marching band down the hallway whenever we put the twins to sleep." Um, that wasn't very nice of you.

Seriously, it seems to me that if one makes noise near a sleeping infant, they will either wake, or not. I don't have any control over this. If I make a lot of noise near a light sleeper, she is going to wake up more, not less. Maybe I'm wrong.


----------



## Lady Lilya

Yeah, a lot of people seem convinced that their kids became heavier sleepers because they made noise around them.


----------



## Irishmommy

Dh has a coworker who trained their kids to wake at the slightest noise (by being abnormally quiet) that he no longer showers at home, as it will waken the kids. Don't tell me that's the kid, it's the parent! We never crept around the kids, and they can sleep through a lot, always could. I don't attribute it ALL to luck.


----------



## Smokering

Technically, babies are BORN used to loud noise. The noise in the womb is very loud - I think it's supposed to be louder than a vacuum cleaner at close range - and babies under three months have naturally "clogged up" ears so they don't get deafened. So even a fairly quiet room probably sounds like a deathly hush to them. That's why a lot of fussy babies calm down if you put loud noise near them - a vacuum, static, the car engine etc. (This is all from The Happiest Baby on the Block, if it sounds familiar!).

So I don't know how that theory ties in with your DD, but them's the facts I know.  I always did try not to creep around silently when DD was sleeping, because I didn't want to get her acclimatised to a deathly hush (plus, background noise is supposed to help guard against SIDS). And to this day she sleeps better with music quietly playing in another room. But honestly, she's gone through periods of being a light sleeper and periods of being a heavy sleeper, and I have no idea why.


----------



## Lady Lilya

Did you ever read the first part of Sleepless In America where she talks about the couple trying to put the baby to sleep, and after hours of effort it finally does go to sleep, and then a tiny noise happens and it jerks awake screaming inconsolably? That was my kid. It comes from being so tense and not being able to relax. Fight or flight. Every sound is interpreted as a threat. It took a long time and a lot of work to help him learn to relax so he wouldn't be on edge all the time.

I don't know if he was born super tense, or if it was the result of some trauma in his early days. (He had tongue-tie so badly that he couldn't transfer milk until he had surgery at 5 days old. It took us almost 3 days to figure out what was going on, so he was basically starving for that time.) But I am sure that not every baby has such an intense personality that it is so hard to wind down. When he was little, if he would laugh for a minute at something, it would take him over 3 hours of rocking and shushing to get him to be calm again.

Now, at 3, he is amazingly laid back. He has better skills at recovering from emotion than any of the adults in the family. I guess it was all that work to build and strengthen the soothing pathways in his brain. He has language delays, so there is often frustration (about not being able to communicate), or shock (at events we tried to explain to him but he didn't grasp) or other things that you would expect to trigger a bit of a melt down, but he bounces back so well I am in awe.

The moral of the story is, comfort your jumpy babies! It really does work!


----------



## aphel

Very interesting . . . . DD also had feeding issues, and basically starved (unknown to us, first time mama) for her first two-three days. She actually cried herself hoarse before we figured out what was going on. I've always felt that her jumpiness/fussiness/neediness is at least partially due to the failure to meet her needs in those first few days.

As far as tiptoeing around the baby, I can see where this might become an issue and that totally can influence the child's need for quiet to sleep. DD actually can sleep through just about anything when being worn or held, but she startles soooooo easily when she's laying on her own and there's just no way to avoid it.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Lady Lilya*
> 
> I don't know if he was born super tense, or if it was the result of some trauma in his early days. (He had tongue-tie so badly that he couldn't transfer milk until he had surgery at 5 days old. It took us almost 3 days to figure out what was going on, so he was basically starving for that time.) But I am sure that not every baby has such an intense personality that it is so hard to wind down. When he was little, if he would laugh for a minute at something, it would take him over 3 hours of rocking and shushing to get him to be calm again.


----------



## crabbyowl

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *lunarlady*
> 
> My mother used to always say "if you let them (the kids) sleep in your bed, they will never leave.". Finally, I said "at least we won't have to worry about premarital sex. That would be pretty hard to pull off with us RIGHT THERE." She hasn't said a word since.


Fabulous!


----------



## accountclosed2

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Irishmommy*
> 
> Dh has a coworker who trained their kids to wake at the slightest noise (by being abnormally quiet) that he no longer showers at home, as it will waken the kids. Don't tell me that's the kid, it's the parent! We never crept around the kids, and they can sleep through a lot, always could. I don't attribute it ALL to luck.


Honestly? I have worked with children for years, and I had planned to have DD sleeping in the room I was with all the noise and light of everyday life. But I was blessed with a very sensitive little soul, and I have to say we've probably spent nearly half of her soon 3 years trying to get her to sleep/back to sleep/stay asleep. Long walks in the push chair when I was too sick or tired to really do it, having to lie next to her all night (until recently, a few months after her 2nd bday, she'd wake up within 10 min if she was sleeping alone), constant movement if she's sleeping in the mei tai, music playing constantly if she's sleeping at home in daytime, turning off sound on telephone - because any ringing, or an aeroplane going by, flying low (we live on a flight route) or someone knocking will wake her - and woke her at 3 days as well as nearly 3 years. There's nothing I can do about aeroplanes or helicopters, and she's not coping any better with them, I still have to fight to get her back to sleep again, which probably won't work anyway.

Since soon after her second bday she does sleep better, but she is still very sensitive to sounds. I very much resent that this should be something we caused. All we did was survive, and try to provide what our baby desperately needed - sleep (by 3 months DD slept 8-12 hours total in 24, and this didn't increase until she was nearly 9 months old).

Besides, I don't think that it is that kids get conditioned to uber-quiet sleep environments. I think that the sensitive babies, who struggle with sleep, are just too "awake" or "aware"of everything around them. DD needs music to sleep to, music that is quite even. As long as the music is the same, with no sudden-ness anywhere, she can sleep fine to many sorts of music. It is the sudden sounds that penetrate, and will wake her. The music often helps with the aeroplanes and other outside sounds, it keeps it all out. It also helps me nowadays. I can move around quietly, and opening a door or something probably won't wake her. Forget about the dishes or even starting the tap. Although thanks to bathroom and bedroom not being wall to wall we can now shower while she sleeps at night (as she sleeps better on her own now). Intimacy for DH and me just wasn't possible (we certainly tried!) in the first oh, 9 months or more. In the same room she'd just wake, sort of sensing we were awake, no matter how quiet, and if I left her side and we went to the other room, she woke within 10 min.

We didn't choose to live this way, but we chose to AP, and this is how our child needs (and needed from the beginning) to be parented.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AislinCarys*
> 
> Honestly? I have worked with children for years, and I had planned to have DD sleeping in the room I was with all the noise and light of everyday life. But I was blessed with a very sensitive little soul, and I have to say we've probably spent nearly half of her soon 3 years


Plus side, now that she's nearly 3, you can start experimenting with stuff like headphones and earplugs.


----------



## aphel

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AislinCarys*
> 
> We didn't choose to live this way, but we chose to AP, and this is how our child needs (and needed from the beginning) to be parented.


----------



## Kelly1101

I think it's the kid, not the parent, when it comes to heavy sleepers / light sleepers. We've never been able to really "tip toe" around either of the babies, and one sleeps through anything while the other wakes up constantly at loud sounds.


----------



## AFWife

From my mother about my planned homebirth: (We're moving into a house with an awesome bathtub that I plan on using) "Make sure you get a mat for the bottom of the tub! You don't want the baby to conk his head on the way out!"

She's said it more than once so she's serious AND it's important to her...


----------



## goinggreengirl

I got the crying is good for their lungs thing over Christmas- I said, "Oh, like bleeding is good for the veins?" Also the he's spoiled because we pick him up when he wants us. I said, "Food spoils, babies don't!" My family is pretty good about natural/ AP but sometimes...


----------



## AndrewsMother

My 3 year old bit a 10 year old while wresting. I talked to my son about biting and told him that if he continued to bite we would leave. My parenting/discipline philosophy must not have been enough. My friend told me that she did not feel as if my methods were adequate because my son failed to cry. She thought that he needed to show discomfort or remorse.

Riiiiight.


----------



## Spring Lily

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *goinggreengirl*
> 
> I got the crying is good for their lungs thing over Christmas- I said, "Oh, like bleeding is good for the veins?"


LOL that is a great response!


----------



## bcblondie

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *goinggreengirl*
> 
> I got the crying is good for their lungs thing over Christmas- I said, "Oh, like bleeding is good for the veins?" ...


 SO using this. lol. Awesome.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AndrewsMother*
> 
> My 3 year old bit a 10 year old while wresting. I talked to my son about biting and told him that if he continued to bite we would leave. My parenting/discipline philosophy must not have been enough. My friend told me that she did not feel as if my methods were adequate because my son failed to cry. She thought that he needed to show discomfort or remorse.
> 
> Riiiiight.


Oh dear. That makes me sad. Does she have kids? I supose they'd be crying all day...


----------



## aphel

Quote:
Originally Posted by *goinggreengirl* 


> "Oh, like bleeding is good for the veins?"










^

Here's a good one: I had a PT appointment to get to, one I had already canceled that week and really could not be late for, but DD was still napping. I was really reticent to wake her from her nap, because I hate and generally avoid having to do that and BIL (who I really really like, to be fair) goes, "Oh, don't worry about it! It's good for her!"

What? How? Huh?


----------



## Kreeblim

OMG this just happened like right now!

My 6 year old had a spider bite on his neck. We are in PA so it is bitterly cold here, and the kids were playing in our semi-finished basement for HOURS so I'm not exactly surprised, nor am I really worried. He does get really itchy in the summer from any sort of bug bite, so I gave him some benedryl and put a band aid over it to keep him from scratching it too much and getting a scab. The bump is maybe the size of a nickle with two tiny holes and he's in a good mood and fully normal seeming except for being itchy.

I mention this to my mom since she happened to call right after I sent him on his way, and she says "Ugh, make sure you spray down the house, that's terrible!"

Having grown up in PA, it's not terribly abnormal to see a spider indoors in the winter, so I asked why, since it's just a spider, and she continued:

*MOM:* "Those can be dangerous! You don't want bugs biting he kids! Just get some bug bombs and leave the house for the day."

*ME:* "Are you serious? Do you really think it's worth soaking my kid's play area in insecticides to possibly kill a few spiders, when all their spider buddies will just wait out the poisen clouds in the walls anyway?"

*MOM:* "Well you don't know what kind of spider it was!"

*ME:* "I know it's the kind that leaves a mosquito sized bite that itches a little, and not one of the really bad ones that can't live in this climate anyway. It's not like house spiders are more dangerous now than they were when I was a kid, and I saw spiders in the house all the time growing up. Did you ever fog bomb just for spiders?"

*MOM:* "No, but they weren't attacking my children! You can't keep letting those babies get all bit up!"

*ME:* "Well I think one indoor winter spider bite in his entire 6 years of his life isn't exactly a declaration of spider war. How about you go on-line and forward me some information on the danger of house spider bites vs. the chemicals in fog bombers and then we'll talk."

*MOM:* "You know what? That's fine. I'm SO SORRY about having some kind of concern for my grandchildren. I guess I'll just keep everything to myself from now on! I just don't like to think about my poor little grand babies being all bit up in their own home!"

*ME:* *sigh* "OK Mom"


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AFWife*
> 
> From my mother about my planned homebirth: (We're moving into a house with an awesome bathtub that I plan on using) "Make sure you get a mat for the bottom of the tub! You don't want the baby to conk his head on the way out!"
> 
> She's said it more than once so she's serious AND it's important to her...


Well, a mat would be nice and cushy for your knees.


----------



## AndrewsMother

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *bcblondie*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *goinggreengirl*
> 
> I got the crying is good for their lungs thing over Christmas- I said, "Oh, like bleeding is good for the veins?" ...
> 
> 
> 
> SO using this. lol. Awesome.
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *AndrewsMother*
> 
> My 3 year old bit a 10 year old while wresting. I talked to my son about biting and told him that if he continued to bite we would leave. My parenting/discipline philosophy must not have been enough. My friend told me that she did not feel as if my methods were adequate because my son failed to cry. She thought that he needed to show discomfort or remorse.
> 
> Riiiiight.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> Oh dear. That makes me sad. Does she have kids? I supose they'd be crying all day...
Click to expand...

Yes, she has children, and actually finds joy in their discomfort. Needless to say, we have parted ways.


----------



## Kelly1101

ROTFL :lol:

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Kreeblim*
> "Well I think one indoor winter spider bite in his entire 6 years of his life isn't exactly a declaration of spider war.


----------



## MusicianDad

One for the holidays...

"How is she going to fit in if you get her that [referring to a subscription to Canadian Business]. You should get her something that will help her connect with other girls her age." Says one of the other mom's at DD's school.

"It's what she asked for, and she has no trouble fitting in." Says I. Interestingly enough, this woman's daughter is one of DD's usual cronies at school so she knows DD fits in just fine.


----------



## kriket

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Stephenie*
> 
> When my brother was born and my mom was nursing him, she told my mom that "only poor people and "n-words" do that."


Statistically, aren't these two groups (African American and/or low income mamas) the LEAST likely to breastfeed? As a poor person, I hear often how "lucky" I am to BF. Because here in the trailer park it's only rich white ladies that BF.


----------



## Spring Lily

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *kriket*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *Stephenie*
> 
> When my brother was born and my mom was nursing him, she told my mom that "only poor people and "n-words" do that."
> 
> 
> 
> Statistically, aren't these two groups (African American and/or low income mamas) the LEAST likely to breastfeed? As a poor person, I hear often how "lucky" I am to BF. Because here in the trailer park it's only rich white ladies that BF.
Click to expand...

I think that was the line of thinking a few generations ago. Rich people could afford to buy formula, and it was marketed as this super healthy stuff. Poor people BF'd instead. Then the pendulum swung and people on lower incomes started buying it because they wanted the 'good stuff' the rich people were buying. Finally, info came out about how much better breastmilk is and how formula companies were behaving unscrupulously (I'm looking at you, Nestle), and the more educated people (who tend to have higher incomes) started BFing. There is still a mix, but it's skewed in the opposite direction from what it was 2 generations ago. that's how I understand it, from conversations with my mother about the flack she got from nursing me in the '70s.


----------



## WifeMomChiro

I had my father telling my 4 year old dd that she wasn't going to gain enough weight if she only ate apples for breakfast. He was trying to get her to eat a cinnamon roll.


----------



## sharon71

I guess the worst advice I got was from my youngest child's ped. when she was 12 mths old and I was still nursing.

Ped: how much cow's milk is Anna getting?

Me: none she is still nursing.

Ped: well you have to wean her or she'll have and adverse reaction to solid food and won't eat it.

Me: really? Tha's just crazy considering she's been eating solids for 2 months now and eats pretty much anything placed in front of her.

Ped: well ummmmm...(changes subject)

DD went on to nurse until 32 mths.


----------



## mamalisa

Kreeblim!! My dad is like that too. He worries constantly about my kids. They are the healthiest kids I know. Dd has a little red spot on her cheek that we've had checked and the dr says no worries, just a blood vessel. He must have asked me about it 10 times last week. But please, keep talking about the horrible spot on my 5 year olds face so she can worry about it too.


----------



## minkajane

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *sharon71*
> 
> I guess the worst advice I got was from my youngest child's ped. when she was 12 mths old and I was still nursing.
> 
> Ped: how much cow's milk is Anna getting?
> 
> Me: none she is still nursing.
> 
> Ped: well you have to wean her or she'll have and adverse reaction to solid food and won't eat it.
> 
> Me: really? Tha's just crazy considering she's been eating solids for 2 months now and eats pretty much anything placed in front of her.
> 
> Ped: well ummmmm...(changes subject)
> 
> DD went on to nurse until 32 mths.


What is with the assumption that if a kid's still nursing, they're not getting ANY solids at all? I hear that all the time. I actually had a classmate announce in class once that she knew a girl who had to see a nutrition therapist because she was 5 and still nursing so she didn't know how to eat solid foods. I challenged her with that one, since I nursed DS for 2 years and he ate solids just fine for the last year and a half of it. And if a parent is not giving the kid any other foods (which makes no sense anyway), why are they more likely to do it when breastfeeding? They could just as easily be giving the kid nothing but formula and no solids. But no matter what I said, several people in class insisted that it was a problem with breastfeeding and you HAD to wean when they start solids, period. Made NO sense at all.


----------



## Smokering

Quote:


> Statistically, aren't these two groups (African American and/or low income mamas) the LEAST likely to breastfeed? As a poor person, I hear often how "lucky" I am to BF. Because here in the trailer park it's only rich white ladies that BF.


Do you SAH? It's possible some mothers who work don't know about pumping, or don't work at places where it's feasible, so if you SAH they might mean something like "You're lucky to be able to SAH and breastfeed"... maybe? Just a theory.  Also, in communities where BFing is less common, new mothers will have less support (and often outright hostility) for it. So... in many ways, if you have a successful breastfeeding relationship, you are lucky.


----------



## Kreeblim

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Spring Lily*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *kriket*
> 
> Statistically, aren't these two groups (African American and/or low income mamas) the LEAST likely to breastfeed? As a poor person, I hear often how "lucky" I am to BF. Because here in the trailer park it's only rich white ladies that BF.
> 
> 
> 
> I think that was the line of thinking a few generations ago. Rich people could afford to buy formula, and it was marketed as this super healthy stuff. Poor people BF'd instead. Then the pendulum swung and people on lower incomes started buying it because they wanted the 'good stuff' the rich people were buying. Finally, info came out about how much better breastmilk is and how formula companies were behaving unscrupulously (I'm looking at you, Nestle), and the more educated people (who tend to have higher incomes) started BFing. There is still a mix, but it's skewed in the opposite direction from what it was 2 generations ago. that's how I understand it, from conversations with my mother about the flack she got from nursing me in the '70s.
Click to expand...

Honestly? I think it has a lot to do with WIC. Back in the 50's, formula wasn't just "expensive", it was totally out of reach for poor women. If you formula fed, then it was a direct indication that you had money. Poor women could make their own homemade formula, but it was often stuff like karo syrup and cows milk.

Just a few years ago, especially around here, it was the opposite. Poor woman almost uniformly formula fed, and it was ALWAYS economically in their reach with WIC. LLL meetings (at least when I went) were almost all white, and all driving cars that cost 4 times what mine did. Slings seem to be a part of the same demographic. I never once saw a woman babywearing or breastfeeding in the waiting room at WIC, and several grocery cashiers called their manager on me because they had never seen a WIC check that allowed tuna and carrots (the breastfeeding check).

It seems to be changing, and part of that is probably WIC related, as they support breastfeeding much more strongly, and try to educate on it more. It would have been nice not to be a pariah back when my eldest was a baby, but it seemed very much like the attitude was "This is BRAND NAME formula, and it's free and will save us hundreds of dollars, so why go through all the fuss of breastfeeding if we don't HAVE to?" I'm sure WIC has saved the lives of many children who would have been fed sugar and cows milk instead, so I am not anti-WIC by any means, but I am glad to see them getting more boob-friendly.


----------



## kriket

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Smokering*
> 
> Do you SAH? It's possible some mothers who work don't know about pumping, or don't work at places where it's feasible, so if you SAH they might mean something like "You're lucky to be able to SAH and breastfeed"... maybe? Just a theory.  Also, in communities where BFing is less common, new mothers will have less support (and often outright hostility) for it. So... in many ways, if you have a successful breastfeeding relationship, you are lucky.


Nope, I WOHed FT (now I am 1/2 WOH 1/2 WAH) I am pregnant (so if I am snappy I really don't mean it ) But I worked damn hard to BF  I had a 37 weeker, so technically not a premie, but jaundiced, and taken from at birth for tests and didn't get to try and nurse for a few hours and didn't want to eat, Milk didn't come in until some time during the 2nd week, pumping was an around the clock ordeal to get the 8-10oz I needed for work, we had a pedi force me to FF because my milk was late and DS was jaundiced. So luck had very little to nothing to do with it. I had to bust my buns to nurse, but it was something I wanted to give my baby, so I did out of sheer force of will.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Kreeblim*
> several grocery cashiers called their manager on me because they had never seen a WIC check that allowed tuna and carrots (the breastfeeding check).


I have had very hostile cashiers from salmon or the $10 veggie card with an older baby. She was quite sassy about how she wasn't getting these "extras"

OK, back to bad parenting advice!!

We don't 'do' Christmas, over the past few weeks I have had LOTS of people ask me what DS "will do" when he gets into school. ?? And what? gets teased? if it wasn't teasing about this it would be about something else!


----------



## Smokering

Quote:


> Nope, I WOHed FT (now I am 1/2 WOH 1/2 WAH) I am pregnant (so if I am snappy I really don't mean it ) But I worked damn hard to BF  I had a 37 weeker, so technically not a premie, but jaundiced, and taken from at birth for tests and didn't get to try and nurse for a few hours and didn't want to eat, Milk didn't come in until some time during the 2nd week, pumping was an around the clock ordeal to get the 8-10oz I needed for work, we had a pedi force me to FF because my milk was late and DS was jaundiced. So luck had very little to nothing to do with it. I had to bust my buns to nurse, but it was something I wanted to give my baby, so I did out of sheer force of will.


Oh well, so much for that theory.


----------



## ChelseaWantsOut

Last night I was upstairs hanging out with my parents (we live in their basement) and my 3-month-old baby started fussing because he was sleepy. I took him back from my mom and told her I just needed to dance him around until he fell asleep (best/fastest way to get him to sleep besides going to the park with him in the gemini and swinging on the swings), but she kept saying "I think he needs to be put in his bouncy seat! I'm sure he just wants to go in his seat!" I asked her why and she said, "He wants to be able to look around and play!" She was on the verge of tears, frantic for me to put him in the seat, no matter how many times I told her he was sleepy. "Let's just try it, can't we just try putting him in there? Why won't you ever let him be in his seat?" It was bizarre. I finally just said goodnight and went back to the basement. He stopped crying as soon as we left their room and was asleep in two minutes flat.


----------



## goinggreengirl

Chelsea: I think it's so ridiculous when other people think they know what your baby wants better than you do! I'm his mom- I KNOW when he's tired or hungry or bored.


----------



## cappuccinosmom

Grandmother, after the birth of my second baby: Congratulations. I hope you don't have any more. Or at least not for 5 years.

(She always maintained that she wished she'd stopped at 1, and was very free about saying that to her younger three children, including my mother who took care of her for *years*







)

Lady at church, with three small children clinging to her: Congratulations! (this was with my first son) Now it's real for you, huh? You're not still wanting a huge family. I really wish I'd stopped with one, and you will too.

Woman ahead of me in the grocery store: Girl! You have *three* boys????!!!! I hope you get your girl next time, and if you don't, you need to stop!!!! That is just too many!!!!! (rants on and on about how in this day and age is horrible to have a large family and bad for the children etc etc. And then as she's leaving she gets a catalina coupon for baby food, and hands it to me. uh, thanks).

Let's see...

Pastor, when my first was a newborn: You know, you're really holding him much too much. You need to let others hold him, and put him down, or he'll never learn to be independant.

This was at an outdoor church picnic, the kid was 3 months old, and I was wondering where exactly I would put him down, and why being held at 3 months old doomed him to social failure in the rest of life.

This same guy told dh and me that I needed to stop breastfeeding so we would get pregnant more often. Now, we are QF. We don't use any form of birth control, and don't try to arrange breastfeeding in order to achieve lactational amennorhea. We just feel that exclusive, extended breastfeeding is the best option for baby. So anyway, this man's wife got pregnant every year, and I think he was having trouble believing that fertility differs from couple to couple. Super annoying, not to mention rather intrusive and judgemental.

My little sister has gotten some doozies. Don't remember the phrasing on most of them, so I'll leave them. But the one I just loved had to do with formula and a pediatrician. Sister is partially breastfeeding, and supplementing with formula. She's always looking for opportunities to get more bf in, and is happier the fewer bottles her baby has. Anyhoo, the pediatrician gave her a can of formula to see if that would help sis's baby with gas/tummy issues. When she came home, sister looked at the label and the primary ingredient in the stuff is *corn syrup solids*. Needless to say, baby didn't get any of that. When she took it back to the dr. to show her, the doctor's response was just "Oh. Well. Huh. I didn't know that".







Yeah. Recommend stuff and provide samples without knowing what's in them. That's real smart.


----------



## minkajane

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *cappuccinosmom*
> My little sister has gotten some doozies. Don't remember the phrasing on most of them, so I'll leave them. But the one I just loved had to do with formula and a pediatrician. Sister is partially breastfeeding, and supplementing with formula. She's always looking for opportunities to get more bf in, and is happier the fewer bottles her baby has. Anyhoo, the pediatrician gave her a can of formula to see if that would help sis's baby with gas/tummy issues. When she came home, sister looked at the label and the primary ingredient in the stuff is *corn syrup solids*. Needless to say, baby didn't get any of that. When she took it back to the dr. to show her, the doctor's response was just "Oh. Well. Huh. I didn't know that".
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Yeah. Recommend stuff and provide samples without knowing what's in them. That's real smart.


There used to be a can of Enfamil (I think it was the gentle formula) sitting around at work and this was the #1 ingredient listed. I loved having it there because people had NO idea what was in formula. If you asked, they'd say, "Uh...milk?" And I was able to show them the can. Unfortunately, some of them would still just shrug and say, "Eh, we eat lots of weird stuff." *facepalm*


----------



## Amatullah0

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *minkajane*
> 
> There used to be a can of Enfamil (I think it was the gentle formula) sitting around at work and this was the #1 ingredient listed. I loved having it there because people had NO idea what was in formula. If you asked, they'd say, "Uh...milk?" And I was able to show them the can. Unfortunately, some of them would still just shrug and say, "Eh, we eat lots of weird stuff." *facepalm*


Yeah, I think its a primary ingredient in similac formula too.

I got something similar from my parents today, it started with mentioning how many ingredients(i.e. no, we wont eat that, too many ingredients/too fake) were in a certain type of food they they were offering me to take home to feed my family, turned to my dad mentioning how trans fats(hydrogenated soybean oil was one of the ingredients) are bad for him, but ok for DS, cause he's younger, and something about trans fats being ok... OH KAY.... Sidetrack to our dietary restrictions(only kosher/halal animal products) and to me knowing what all of those strange, long named, ingredients really are made from, along with my amazement that people just eat things without reading the ingredients. I don't eat stuff if I don't know whats on it. and even if I know that it is up to par with our religious dietary restrictions, I don't just eat it, and I'm not going to listen to the on-package advertisements telling me how healthy margarine is


----------



## ChelseaWantsOut

Um, yeah, trans fats are fine for younger people, because everyone knows until you hit 30 your youthful stomach acid magically turns anything you eat into organic, grass-fed unicorn meat and rainbows, the healthiest things in the universe!


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Corn syrup solids? I didn't know there was such a thing. GROSS.

But yeah, I actually don't think trans fats are terribly unhealthy for little ones with developing brains and tons of growing going on. I strive to eat healthy, and strive to feed my ds healthy foods, but I don't limit his fats (although I also don't feed him straight butter).


----------



## limabean

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Super~Single~Mama*
> 
> Corn syrup solids? I didn't know there was such a thing. GROSS.
> 
> But yeah, I actually don't think trans fats are terribly unhealthy for little ones with developing brains and tons of growing going on. I strive to eat healthy, and strive to feed my ds healthy foods, but I don't limit his fats (although I also don't feed him straight butter).


Wouldn't butter be a saturated fat though? That's different than a trans fat. I don't limit fats either, but I do limit foods in general, and trans fats aren't really found in anything that isn't highly processed, I don't think -- there aren't natural sources of it like there are with saturated and unsaturated fats.


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *limabean*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *Super~Single~Mama*
> 
> Corn syrup solids? I didn't know there was such a thing. GROSS.
> 
> But yeah, I actually don't think trans fats are terribly unhealthy for little ones with developing brains and tons of growing going on. I strive to eat healthy, and strive to feed my ds healthy foods, but I don't limit his fats (although I also don't feed him straight butter).
> 
> 
> 
> Wouldn't butter be a saturated fat though? That's different than a trans fat. I don't limit fats either, but I do limit foods in general, and trans fats aren't really found in anything that isn't highly processed, I don't think -- there aren't natural sources of it like there are with saturated and unsaturated fats.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I don't know if theres anything that we eat in particular that would have trans fats in it, but in small amounts, occasionally, it wouldn't be on my radar. Then again, when it comes to food I'm definitely not nearly as rigid as most on this site.


----------



## sapphire_chan

There are trace transfats in butter and dairy and meats. What there isn't is a correlation between those transfats heart disease and so forth as there is with the ones created by partial-hydrogenation in terms.


----------



## jodieanneanton

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *cappuccinosmom*
> 
> Grandmother, after the birth of my second baby: Congratulations. I hope you don't have any more. Or at least not for 5 years.
> 
> (She always maintained that she wished she'd stopped at 1, and was very free about saying that to her younger three children, including my mother who took care of her for *years*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> )
> 
> Lady at church, with three small children clinging to her: Congratulations! (this was with my first son) Now it's real for you, huh? You're not still wanting a huge family. I really wish I'd stopped with one, and you will too.
> 
> Woman ahead of me in the grocery store: Girl! You have *three* boys????!!!! I hope you get your girl next time, and if you don't, you need to stop!!!! That is just too many!!!!! (rants on and on about how in this day and age is horrible to have a large family and bad for the children etc etc. And then as she's leaving she gets a catalina coupon for baby food, and hands it to me. uh, thanks).


This kind of stuff really bothers me!! My husband's grandmother is always saying how she never wanted her son (my FIL) and wished for a girl. I have to hear that story EVERY holiday/birthday gathering.

Thinking this kind of thing in the heat of the moment or even truly feeling this way is fine. Saying it openly in front of your children (especially when they are children) is completely unacceptable!!!

And besides, Who is a stranger to tell me how many kids I want??? I get those comments all the time when people find out I want a big family. And perfect strangers say things like that in front of my kids! How rude!


----------



## MusicianDad

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *ChelseaWantsOut*
> 
> Um, yeah, trans fats are fine for younger people, because everyone knows until you hit 30 your youthful stomach acid magically turns anything you eat into organic, grass-fed unicorn meat and rainbows, the healthiest things in the universe!


But... But... I don't want to eat Unicorns and rainbows taste funny.


----------



## ChelseaWantsOut

Don't you want to be HEALTHY, MusicianDad? It's hard to indoctrinate the youth and push the Gay Agenda if you're sick all the time.

And back on topic, my MIL told me that it's anti-feminist of me not to circumcise my baby, because I am exposing his future sex partners to increased risk of cervical cancer, which makes no sense for a number of reasons. I replied, "How do you know he's going to be having sex with people with cervixes?" She has a bunch of reasons why people "should" circ, which boil down to, "I did it to both my boys, so why are they so against it for their kids?"

She also told me if the baby bites me while nursing, I should give him a "nice, hard swat on the nose" accompanied by a firm "no!" I don't think I even responded to that one.


----------



## Kelly1101

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *ChelseaWantsOut*
> 
> She also told me if the baby bites me while nursing, I should give him a "nice, hard swat on the nose" accompanied by a firm "no!" I don't think I even responded to that one.


Ask her if you should use some rolled-up newspaper.


----------



## ShwarmaQueen

I was told to spank my toddler (not even 14 mos old) to prevent him from climbing on the table. And if I was uncomfortable doing that in public I could pinch him instead. Ummm, no!


----------



## minkajane

I was at work today and two people were there with their kids that had both just turned one. They talked for like 20 minutes about how often their kids got spanked and how spoiled they were (or "spoileded" as one woman kept saying). These BABIES are barely 12 months old! I just kept my mouth shut and my eyes on my filing. I'm just glad this is only a temp position!


----------



## ChelseaWantsOut

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Kelly1101*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *ChelseaWantsOut*
> 
> She also told me if the baby bites me while nursing, I should give him a "nice, hard swat on the nose" accompanied by a firm "no!" I don't think I even responded to that one.
> 
> 
> 
> Ask her if you should use some rolled-up newspaper.
Click to expand...

I know, right? Maybe I should rub his nose in his dirty diapers, too!


----------



## kriket

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *ChelseaWantsOut*
> 
> And back on topic, my MIL told me that it's anti-feminist of me not to circumcise my baby,


My brains are in pain.... Isn't the point of feminism equality? Like, evidently I am a feminist because I don't think men are better just for being men. soooo logically, if you circ your boys for the sake of cervixes, you should circ your girls too? But female circ is for sure not feministic, so, have I created a paradox?

That should be the test of parenting advice, does it create a paradox? yes=crappy advice


----------



## cappuccinosmom

Quote:


> And besides, Who is a stranger to tell me how many kids I want??? I get those comments all the time when people find out I want a big family. And perfect strangers say things like that in front of my kids! How rude!


 Absolutely.

I forgot the worst of those types of comments. It was so long ago, before I even had kids. I babysat for a mom with triplets, and we were chatting and I mentioned my hope for a large family. She discouraged me strongly, saying "Well, now, you don't want to become like Andrea Yates, do you?".


----------



## sk8boarder15

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *ChelseaWantsOut*
> 
> Um, yeah, trans fats are fine for younger people, because everyone knows until you hit 30 your youthful stomach acid magically turns anything you eat into organic, grass-fed unicorn meat and rainbows, the healthiest things in the universe!


THIS MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD!!!!!!


----------



## minkajane

Overheard at the mall recently: "She has to have a C-section. Her pelvis is too small. Her first baby went into distress and that's how they know that her pelvis is way too small, even though the baby was only 6 pounds!"


----------



## HeyCindy

My baby likes to grunt when he stretches, sometimes he sounds like a grown man.

My MIL insisted that it's not normal and said that we should feed him a raw egg to "cure him".









When I gave birth she came to visit me at the hospital and saw me brush my hair. She screamed at me "It's bad to brush your hair if you want to breastfeed!"


----------



## ramlita

Wow, those two take the cake for making the least sense!! :scratch

She's otherwise, um, sensible?!?


----------



## Snowflake777

This is not specifically a parenting thing but a pregnancy thing. About a month ago, I stretched my arms out at work and a colleague started yelling at me that I shouldn't do that while pregnant because the baby might flip. I'm still scratching my head over that - the baby is constantly moving in there anyway! I was 18 weeks pregnant then, so it's not like I was about to give birth or something.

Do people just hear random things and then parrot them without actually stopping to consider whether they make sense?


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Snowflake777*
> 
> Do people just hear random things and then parrot them without actually stopping to consider whether they make sense?


She was probably told it from her mother...who was told it from HER mother...who was told it from HER mother...etc


----------



## Lisa1970

I don't know if I already posted this, BUT, a pediatrician told me (remember, doctors do not have any training in parenting or child development, but love to give parenting advice, that advice is just their opinion, not a professional one) to move the baby's crib in to the closet or bathroom (I told her his crib was in our room and we did not have a different room for him) and to shut the door and refuse to go to him no matter how much he cries, for 8 hrs. Show him who the boss is!! Uugghhh...horrified that some innocent parent who does not know better may have gotten her parenting advice at some point and followed it.


----------



## crunchy_mommy

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Lisa1970*
> 
> I don't know if I already posted this, BUT, a pediatrician told me (remember, doctors do not have any training in parenting or child development, but love to give parenting advice, that advice is just their opinion, not a professional one) to move the baby's crib in to the closet or bathroom (I told her his crib was in our room and we did not have a different room for him) and to shut the door and refuse to go to him no matter how much he cries, for 8 hrs. Show him who the boss is!! Uugghhh...horrified that some innocent parent who does not know better may have gotten her parenting advice at some point and followed it.


Yes, our former pediatrician told us that the solution to DS's incredibly frequent feeding at 6 weeks old was to let him cry for an hour between nursing sessions.







And we sort of believed him... Obviously we didn't just let him cry but we spent almost a week trying to get him to go this magical 'hour between nursing sessions' before we realized it really wasn't a good solution.







I still have regrets over trying to follow that 'advice' to some extent. What I NEEDED to hear from him was that nursing as frequently as my DS nursed could actually be normal (even if it's not necessarily common, at least not in the US)...


----------



## Arianwen1174

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *crunchy_mommy*
> 
> Yes, our former pediatrician told us that the solution to DS's incredibly frequent feeding at 6 weeks old was to let him cry for an hour between nursing sessions.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> And we sort of believed him... Obviously we didn't just let him cry but we spent almost a week trying to get him to go this magical 'hour between nursing sessions' before we realized it really wasn't a good solution.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I still have regrets over trying to follow that 'advice' to some extent. What I NEEDED to hear from him was that nursing as frequently as my DS nursed could actually be normal (even if it's not necessarily common, at least not in the US)...










Those types of regrets are hard on the heart!


----------



## KempsMama

Visiting a friend in L & D the other day, the PP nurse came in to check on how nursing was going and told the mom that she would most likely need to give a bottle if her milk didn't come in within the day (she gave birth at 10:30 a.m. and it was 2 p.m.) because colostrum wouldn't be enough for her tiny baby (he was 6 lbs even.)

The worst part for me was after the nurse left and I tried to tell my friend what a pile of B.S. that was, her DH said "these people have degrees in medicine, you don't."


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *KempsMama*
> 
> Visiting a friend in L & D the other day, the PP nurse came in to check on how nursing was going and told the mom that she would most likely need to give a bottle if her milk didn't come in within the day (she gave birth at 10:30 a.m. and it was 2 p.m.) because colostrum wouldn't be enough for her tiny baby (he was 6 lbs even.)
> 
> The worst part for me was after the nurse left and I tried to tell my friend what a pile of B.S. that was, her DH said "these people have degrees in medicine, you don't."


"Does that mean they're allowed to LIE to new mothers? That nurse might have a degree in medicine, but it's obvious she slept through her class on lactation--IF she even took one. Would you let a podiatrist give you heart surgery? That's what you're doing to your baby when you take breastfeeding advice from anyone but an international board certified lactation consultant. Personally, I prefer to consult EXPERTS."


----------



## jodieanneanton

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Arianwen1174*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *crunchy_mommy*
> 
> Yes, our former pediatrician told us that the solution to DS's incredibly frequent feeding at 6 weeks old was to let him cry for an hour between nursing sessions.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> And we sort of believed him... Obviously we didn't just let him cry but we spent almost a week trying to get him to go this magical 'hour between nursing sessions' before we realized it really wasn't a good solution.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I still have regrets over trying to follow that 'advice' to some extent. What I NEEDED to hear from him was that nursing as frequently as my DS nursed could actually be normal (even if it's not necessarily common, at least not in the US)...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Those types of regrets are hard on the heart!
Click to expand...

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *crunchy_mommy*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *Lisa1970*
> 
> I don't know if I already posted this, BUT, a pediatrician told me (remember, doctors do not have any training in parenting or child development, but love to give parenting advice, that advice is just their opinion, not a professional one) to move the baby's crib in to the closet or bathroom (I told her his crib was in our room and we did not have a different room for him) and to shut the door and refuse to go to him no matter how much he cries, for 8 hrs. Show him who the boss is!! Uugghhh...horrified that some innocent parent who does not know better may have gotten her parenting advice at some point and followed it.
> 
> 
> 
> Yes, our former pediatrician told us that the solution to DS's incredibly frequent feeding at 6 weeks old was to let him cry for an hour between nursing sessions.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> And we sort of believed him... Obviously we didn't just let him cry but we spent almost a week trying to get him to go this magical 'hour between nursing sessions' before we realized it really wasn't a good solution.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I still have regrets over trying to follow that 'advice' to some extent. What I NEEDED to hear from him was that nursing as frequently as my DS nursed could actually be normal (even if it's not necessarily common, at least not in the US)...
Click to expand...

Along these lines, my SIL's pediatrician said that her 12 month old has developed long term memory and that she can no longer get her at night if she cries. "That means," he said, "that even if she throws up, you are not to go in her room until morning. Otherwise, she will learn to make herself throw up." Um, seriously ??? This guy went to Medical school??? To treat Children???

Honestly, if it wasn't for Mothering and MDC, I would feel like my husband and I were the only ones who believed in responding to your baby's every NEED as QUICKLY and BEST you can!


----------



## A-mac

When I was a teenager high waisted dresses were in style. I was about 13 when an older lady at our church told my mom that I shouldn't be allowed to wear them because I was encouraging teen pregnancy. Surprisingly enough none of the other teens nor myself got pregnant until much much later!


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *A-mac*
> 
> When I was a teenager high waisted dresses were in style. I was about 13 when an older lady at our church told my mom that I shouldn't be allowed to wear them because I was encouraging teen pregnancy. Surprisingly enough none of the other teens nor myself got pregnant until much much later!


When I was a teen, I refused to wear those high waisted dresses because they made me look pregnant. Still don't like what that style dress does to my stomach. They are super cute on everyone I've seen wearing them though.

The first thing I bought when I got pregnant was a cute maternity top with a high waist line that really emphasized my belly.


----------



## goinggreengirl

My 10 month old has started throwing little fits when he gets frustrated- they are actually really cute and funny but he's obviously mad. I was telling a friend about them and she asked if we'd started disciplining him yet.

Uhhh, he's 10 MONTHS OLD! Crying and fussing are the only ways he can show his feelings and we should discipline him for showing feelings? I hope she just didn't think before she asked that one!


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *goinggreengirl*
> 
> My 10 month old has started throwing little fits when he gets frustrated- they are actually really cute and funny but he's obviously mad. I was telling a friend about them and she asked if we'd started disciplining him yet.
> 
> Uhhh, he's 10 MONTHS OLD! Crying and fussing are the only ways he can show his feelings and we should discipline him for showing feelings? I hope she just didn't think before she asked that one!


I don't know, she might have meant something totally different. Showing feelings is great, and responding to it is also great, but responding in a way to just get them to be quiet is not - so maybe she meant to say that when he does throw a tantrum you shouldn't give in to what he wants? I mean, my ds used to do that when he was that age, over things like scissors. Obviously, at 10mo he waasn't capable of safely having scissors - so he got to throw his tantrum and I got to say "no, they are not safe" and then be empathetic while riding out the tantrum - which is a form of "discipline" b/c it teaches him that throwing a tantrum doesn't get him what he wants all the time. Not all people use the word discipline in the negative sense of actually doing something to discipline, but rather as a teaching tool.

Ok, now that I'm sure I completely screwed that up and it makes no sense, I also thought the tantrums were cute at that age, lol. Then he got bigger, and the tantrums got worse, LOL.


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Super~Single~Mama*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *goinggreengirl*
> 
> My 10 month old has started throwing little fits when he gets frustrated- they are actually really cute and funny but he's obviously mad. I was telling a friend about them and she asked if we'd started disciplining him yet.
> 
> Uhhh, he's 10 MONTHS OLD! Crying and fussing are the only ways he can show his feelings and we should discipline him for showing feelings? I hope she just didn't think before she asked that one!
> 
> 
> 
> I don't know, she might have meant something totally different. Showing feelings is great, and responding to it is also great, but responding in a way to just get them to be quiet is not - so maybe she meant to say that when he does throw a tantrum you shouldn't give in to what he wants? I mean, my ds used to do that when he was that age, over things like scissors. Obviously, at 10mo he waasn't capable of safely having scissors - so he got to throw his tantrum and I got to say "no, they are not safe" and then be empathetic while riding out the tantrum - which is a form of "discipline" b/c it teaches him that throwing a tantrum doesn't get him what he wants all the time. Not all people use the word discipline in the negative sense of actually doing something to discipline, but rather as a teaching tool.
> 
> Ok, now that I'm sure I completely screwed that up and it makes no sense, I also thought the tantrums were cute at that age, lol. Then he got bigger, and the tantrums got worse, LOL.
Click to expand...

Discipline at that age can mean saying, "That kind of behavior is not appropriate in public." when he throws a fit at the store or something...not necessarily punishment.


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AFWife*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *Super~Single~Mama*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *goinggreengirl*
> 
> My 10 month old has started throwing little fits when he gets frustrated- they are actually really cute and funny but he's obviously mad. I was telling a friend about them and she asked if we'd started disciplining him yet.
> 
> Uhhh, he's 10 MONTHS OLD! Crying and fussing are the only ways he can show his feelings and we should discipline him for showing feelings? I hope she just didn't think before she asked that one!
> 
> 
> 
> I don't know, she might have meant something totally different. Showing feelings is great, and responding to it is also great, but responding in a way to just get them to be quiet is not - so maybe she meant to say that when he does throw a tantrum you shouldn't give in to what he wants? I mean, my ds used to do that when he was that age, over things like scissors. Obviously, at 10mo he waasn't capable of safely having scissors - so he got to throw his tantrum and I got to say "no, they are not safe" and then be empathetic while riding out the tantrum - which is a form of "discipline" b/c it teaches him that throwing a tantrum doesn't get him what he wants all the time. Not all people use the word discipline in the negative sense of actually doing something to discipline, but rather as a teaching tool.
> 
> Ok, now that I'm sure I completely screwed that up and it makes no sense, I also thought the tantrums were cute at that age, lol. Then he got bigger, and the tantrums got worse, LOL.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> Discipline at that age can mean saying, "That kind of behavior is not appropriate in public." when he throws a fit at the store or something...not necessarily punishment.
Click to expand...

Ok, you said it WAY better than me! Wow my brain wasn't working earlier! LOL


----------



## goinggreengirl

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Super~Single~Mama*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *AFWife*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *Super~Single~Mama*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *goinggreengirl*
> 
> My 10 month old has started throwing little fits when he gets frustrated- they are actually really cute and funny but he's obviously mad. I was telling a friend about them and she asked if we'd started disciplining him yet.
> 
> Uhhh, he's 10 MONTHS OLD! Crying and fussing are the only ways he can show his feelings and we should discipline him for showing feelings? I hope she just didn't think before she asked that one!
> 
> 
> 
> I don't know, she might have meant something totally different. Showing feelings is great, and responding to it is also great, but responding in a way to just get them to be quiet is not - so maybe she meant to say that when he does throw a tantrum you shouldn't give in to what he wants? I mean, my ds used to do that when he was that age, over things like scissors. Obviously, at 10mo he waasn't capable of safely having scissors - so he got to throw his tantrum and I got to say "no, they are not safe" and then be empathetic while riding out the tantrum - which is a form of "discipline" b/c it teaches him that throwing a tantrum doesn't get him what he wants all the time. Not all people use the word discipline in the negative sense of actually doing something to discipline, but rather as a teaching tool.
> 
> Ok, now that I'm sure I completely screwed that up and it makes no sense, I also thought the tantrums were cute at that age, lol. Then he got bigger, and the tantrums got worse, LOL.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> Discipline at that age can mean saying, "That kind of behavior is not appropriate in public." when he throws a fit at the store or something...not necessarily punishment.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> Ok, you said it WAY better than me! Wow my brain wasn't working earlier! LOL
Click to expand...

True... but in the context of other discussions we've had, I don't think that's what she meant. Also, to clarify his tantrums- he throws most of them when his toy isn't doing what he wants (whatever that is.) When he wants the computer or the camera or to pull electrical plugs out of the wall and throws a fit, we do tell him he can't have it and I don't often laugh at the tantrum that follows that.


----------



## asraidevin

My mom complains I spend too much time with baby and not enough cleaning my house.

Well, a few days ago she complained my step-sister-in-law cleans her house too much and spends too little time with her baby.

I figure with my mom you can't win for losing. And my house will be clean once the children move out, I cannot go back in time and cuddle a sleeping 10 month old.


----------



## waiting2bemommy

Yesterday at work my coworker was saying that she woudl probably need a c section because her baby is breech at 7 months. I was telling her about how spending time on yur hands and knees can encourage the baby to turn (it worked for me) and the Webster technique and all that and another coworker goes, "that sounds too easy. not medical enough. I wouldn't do it." ay yay yay.......


----------



## kriket

Along the lines of scratching your head while PG, when I was PG with DS someone (I can't remember who) told me I shouldn't drive a 5spd car because I would wrap the cord around his neck. People get strange things in their head and just have to share I guess.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *ramlita*
> 
> Wow, those two take the cake for making the least sense!! :scratch
> 
> She's otherwise, um, sensible?!?


I love your Avi  I'm a huge Hyperbole and a half fan


----------



## Lady Lilya

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *goinggreengirl*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *Super~Single~Mama*
> 
> Ok, you said it WAY better than me! Wow my brain wasn't working earlier! LOL
> 
> 
> 
> True... but in the context of other discussions we've had, I don't think that's what she meant. Also, to clarify his tantrums- he throws most of them when his toy isn't doing what he wants (whatever that is.) When he wants the computer or the camera or to pull electrical plugs out of the wall and throws a fit, we do tell him he can't have it and I don't often laugh at the tantrum that follows that.
Click to expand...

I DO find that most people mean discipline in the sense of "get the child to stop making the display of emotion". Most people don't seem to grasp the concept that having and showing emotions are ok. Most people are afraid of emotions, and act in a way that passes that fear onto the child. My husband has a lot of trouble with this concept.


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Lady Lilya*
> 
> I DO find that most people mean discipline in the sense of "get the child to stop making the display of emotion". Most people don't seem to grasp the concept that having and showing emotions are ok. Most people are afraid of emotions, and act in a way that passes that fear onto the child. My husband has a lot of trouble with this concept.


Maybe I run in weird circles, but I've never met a parent who has disciplined a child under a year in the sense of trying to scare them. At least not intentionally, I mean I've had some moments of serious frustration, but I've never thought to myself, "I need to scare him out of expressing emotion" and I don't know any parents that do think that.


----------



## Lady Lilya

I don't think it is conscious. I mean that the adults themselves are afraid of expressions of emotions. When a child tantrums, they are desperate to stop it, and that conveys to the child that their large emotions are inherently frightening.


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Lady Lilya*
> 
> I don't think it is conscious. I mean that the adults themselves are afraid of expressions of emotions. When a child tantrums, they are desperate to stop it, and that conveys to the child that their large emotions are inherently frightening.


Yeah, I still disagree. The only person that reacts that way to my ds's tantrums is a woman is highly emotionally unstable. Everyone else is fine with ds screaming over something he wants but can't have, and will just say, "sorry sweetie, the scissors are dangerous. do you want some cuddles to help you calm down?"

Other parents I know are much more like that as well.


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Super~Single~Mama*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *Lady Lilya*
> 
> I don't think it is conscious. I mean that the adults themselves are afraid of expressions of emotions. When a child tantrums, they are desperate to stop it, and that conveys to the child that their large emotions are inherently frightening.
> 
> 
> 
> Yeah, I still disagree. The only person that reacts that way to my ds's tantrums is a woman is highly emotionally unstable. Everyone else is fine with ds screaming over something he wants but can't have, and will just say, "sorry sweetie, the scissors are dangerous. do you want some cuddles to help you calm down?"
> 
> Other parents I know are much more like that as well.
Click to expand...

When I want to stop my DS's meltdowns it's usually because I'm frustrated...or he's going to wake the baby I just spent hours trying to get down for a nap. It isn't about stopping HIS emotions, it's more about being at the end of mine.


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AFWife*
> 
> When I want to stop my DS's meltdowns it's usually because I'm frustrated...or he's going to wake the baby I just spent hours trying to get down for a nap. It isn't about stopping HIS emotions, it's more about being at the end of mine.


Yeah, that happens to me too. Sometimes I just have to walk away and calm down for a few! It does get frustrating.


----------



## treeoflife3

I know LOTS of people who don't think babies and kids should show emotions. Well they are okay with happy so long as it isn't really loud and boisterous, but anger and disappointment are expected to be bottled up. Its not even a matter of teaching them how to appropriately express their feelings... if they are expressing them at all, they have an attitude and need to stop. Their children aren't allowed to be angry or disappointed or frustrated. They need to just take whatever is handed to them an remain even keeled. Doesn't matter what the issue is and it doesn't matter what the child's reason for expression is (just showing they are angry but not expecting CHANGE even) if it is there, it is bad and needs to be stopped.

Of course, I also know people who seem to take pleasure at their older infants and small toddlers feeling any kind of pain. Not like the PP who thinks the little tantrums are cute because those totally are... but who seem HAPPY when their kid is angry and frustrated and crying and screaming. They don't do anything to stop it either because it is bad for because they want to provide comfort for disappointment or support for big hard to deal with emotions... they relish in the idea that their kid isn't happy and too bad they just need to deal with it. Again, there is no help dealing with these big new emotions... sometimes they are mocked and laughed at.


----------



## crunchy_mommy

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *treeoflife3*
> 
> I know LOTS of people who don't think babies and kids should show emotions. Well they are okay with happy so long as it isn't really loud and boisterous, but anger and disappointment are expected to be bottled up. Its not even a matter of teaching them how to appropriately express their feelings... if they are expressing them at all, they have an attitude and need to stop. Their children aren't allowed to be angry or disappointed or frustrated. They need to just take whatever is handed to them an remain even keeled. Doesn't matter what the issue is and it doesn't matter what the child's reason for expression is (just showing they are angry but not expecting CHANGE even) if it is there, it is bad and needs to be stopped.
> 
> <


Yes... I don't think it's even a conscious thing, but it's evident in how they interact with a child, best example I can think of is the "Shhhh you're OK" thing...


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *crunchy_mommy*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *treeoflife3*
> 
> I know LOTS of people who don't think babies and kids should show emotions. Well they are okay with happy so long as it isn't really loud and boisterous, but anger and disappointment are expected to be bottled up. Its not even a matter of teaching them how to appropriately express their feelings... if they are expressing them at all, they have an attitude and need to stop. Their children aren't allowed to be angry or disappointed or frustrated. They need to just take whatever is handed to them an remain even keeled. Doesn't matter what the issue is and it doesn't matter what the child's reason for expression is (just showing they are angry but not expecting CHANGE even) if it is there, it is bad and needs to be stopped.
> 
> <
> 
> 
> 
> Yes... I don't think it's even a conscious thing, but it's evident in how they interact with a child, best example I can think of is the "Shhhh you're OK" thing...
Click to expand...

treeoflife: My SDad was like that...but I was a teenager. I guess that's why I make a decision to say "It's okay to be angry but it's not okay to hit..." or whatever.

crunchymommy: Okay, I do that sometimes...but I think, as the mom, I can tell between "I'm really upset/hurt" and "I'm hamming it up because of X Reason." And he tends to make a huge deal when he falls or something and saying, "Hey, you're okay" helps him.


----------



## treeoflife3

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *crunchy_mommy*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *treeoflife3*
> 
> I know LOTS of people who don't think babies and kids should show emotions. Well they are okay with happy so long as it isn't really loud and boisterous, but anger and disappointment are expected to be bottled up. Its not even a matter of teaching them how to appropriately express their feelings... if they are expressing them at all, they have an attitude and need to stop. Their children aren't allowed to be angry or disappointed or frustrated. They need to just take whatever is handed to them an remain even keeled. Doesn't matter what the issue is and it doesn't matter what the child's reason for expression is (just showing they are angry but not expecting CHANGE even) if it is there, it is bad and needs to be stopped.
> 
> <
> 
> 
> 
> Yes... I don't think it's even a conscious thing, but it's evident in how they interact with a child, best example I can think of is the "Shhhh you're OK" thing...
Click to expand...

my favorite is 'quit your crying or I'll GIVE you something to cry about!


----------



## ramlita

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *kriket*
> 
> Along the lines of scratching your head while PG, when I was PG with DS someone (I can't remember who) told me I shouldn't drive a 5spd car because I would wrap the cord around his neck. People get strange things in their head and just have to share I guess.
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *ramlita*
> 
> Wow, those two take the cake for making the least sense!! :scratch
> 
> She's otherwise, um, sensible?!?
> 
> 
> 
> I love your Avi  I'm a huge Hyperbole and a half fan
Click to expand...

Thanks!!

(just saw this)

She really makes my day- I actually got dizzy from laughing too hard the night I discovered her and stayed up way too late reading Dogs Don't Understand Basic Concepts like Moving house,

the Alot stuff, and the one about days when everything makes you angry... The God of Cake was my introduction. She is my hero


----------



## treeoflife3

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AFWife*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *crunchy_mommy*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *treeoflife3*
> 
> I know LOTS of people who don't think babies and kids should show emotions. Well they are okay with happy so long as it isn't really loud and boisterous, but anger and disappointment are expected to be bottled up. Its not even a matter of teaching them how to appropriately express their feelings... if they are expressing them at all, they have an attitude and need to stop. Their children aren't allowed to be angry or disappointed or frustrated. They need to just take whatever is handed to them an remain even keeled. Doesn't matter what the issue is and it doesn't matter what the child's reason for expression is (just showing they are angry but not expecting CHANGE even) if it is there, it is bad and needs to be stopped.
> 
> <
> 
> 
> 
> Yes... I don't think it's even a conscious thing, but it's evident in how they interact with a child, best example I can think of is the "Shhhh you're OK" thing...
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> treeoflife: My SDad was like that...but I was a teenager. I guess that's why I make a decision to say "It's okay to be angry but it's not okay to hit..." or whatever.
> 
> crunchymommy: Okay, I do that sometimes...but I think, as the mom, I can tell between "I'm really upset/hurt" and "I'm hamming it up because of X Reason." And he tends to make a huge deal when he falls or something and saying, "Hey, you're okay" helps him.
Click to expand...

yeah, I do that too when I know she is okay but I see a lot of parents who don't even give the child a chance to determine their own feelings first ever. Telling them they are fine is the default whether they just tripped or have a bloody knee. there is no 'aww you got an owie?' unless the kid continues on with it for a bit. I also notice its the same kids who are only ever told they are fine and aren't allowed to decide for themselves first if that is true who will exaggerate every little thing. not to say this is the case with your child as mine definitely exaggerates things too sometimes but I'm talking about the children who become more and more dramatic as they get older as a means of getting attention as well as establishing their own feelings separate from what their parents tell them they are feeling.

I had a mom like that. I was always told how I felt. It wasn't just limited to physical pain either. Even as an older teenager, I was told what I was feeling in any given situation and whatever my mom thought I was feeling or thought I should be feeling was the only way she'd treat me. I got the 'you'd better drop that attitude!' for being angry. Anger wasn't allowed with her.


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *treeoflife3*
> 
> my favorite is 'quit your crying or I'll GIVE you something to cry about!


I see that you are in Tennessee or Kentucky - and I think part of it could be b/c of the place. The only people I know who say that are from the south. Now, I also know tons of great parents in the south (ALL of my family comes to mind since my entire extended family is southern), so I'm not trying to be offensive, but I've never met anyone who said that and didn't have some pretty serious southern roots. As soon as I read that I was like, Is she in the south? It was just a gut response.


----------



## Greenlea

I was at a family party and was holding my sleeping baby. People kept telling me to put him down in the house, on the bed or couch or something. I didn't want to because I wouldn't hear him when he woke up since the party was outside and I really didn't mind holding him. My aunt told me "you won't make that mistake with your next one". As if I wouldn't want to hold my own sleeping baby??

At another family party I was at, it was getting late. It was nearly 10pm and my 7mth old was still awake, although very tired and cranky he wouldn't let me put him down. He was resting on me and my aunt said "he has a very unusual attachment to you". Yeah, I just walked away.

When I brought my 3 mth old son in for his pictures the other day, the photographer asked if Nico was his real name. Ummmm....nope, just made it up for pics I guess LOL.

A couple of times I have nursed my son to sleep in front of my sister. I didn't put him down since he likes to use me as a pacifier anyways and it wasn't like I was going anywhere at the time. She made a big scene telling me to just put him down, he's done, blah blah blah. I mean she doesn't even have kids. He's not gonna nurse forever and I cherish those moments.

My grandma used to always tell my dad that you shouldn't tickle a baby's feet because they would get a stutter.


----------



## Lamashtu

I was bf'ing DD while we were at a holiday party at DH's friend's house. Random guy who I had never seen before stopped, looked me up and down and said, "Mmmm, looking good. Can I have some?"


----------



## Lamashtu

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Greenlea* 

When I brought my 3 mth old son in for his pictures the other day, the photographer asked if Nico was his real name. Ummmm....nope, just made it up for pics I guess LOL.

He probably thought Nico was his nickname. Whenever people would ask my sister Nina if that was her real name, she'd answer, "No, my real name is Ninanananananana"


----------



## Agatha_Ann

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *treeoflife3*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *AFWife*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *crunchy_mommy*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *treeoflife3*
> 
> I know LOTS of people who don't think babies and kids should show emotions. Well they are okay with happy so long as it isn't really loud and boisterous, but anger and disappointment are expected to be bottled up. Its not even a matter of teaching them how to appropriately express their feelings... if they are expressing them at all, they have an attitude and need to stop. Their children aren't allowed to be angry or disappointed or frustrated. They need to just take whatever is handed to them an remain even keeled. Doesn't matter what the issue is and it doesn't matter what the child's reason for expression is (just showing they are angry but not expecting CHANGE even) if it is there, it is bad and needs to be stopped.
> 
> <
> 
> 
> 
> Yes... I don't think it's even a conscious thing, but it's evident in how they interact with a child, best example I can think of is the "Shhhh you're OK" thing...
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> treeoflife: My SDad was like that...but I was a teenager. I guess that's why I make a decision to say "It's okay to be angry but it's not okay to hit..." or whatever.
> 
> crunchymommy: Okay, I do that sometimes...but I think, as the mom, I can tell between "I'm really upset/hurt" and "I'm hamming it up because of X Reason." And he tends to make a huge deal when he falls or something and saying, "Hey, you're okay" helps him.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> yeah, I do that too when I know she is okay but I see a lot of parents who don't even give the child a chance to determine their own feelings first ever. Telling them they are fine is the default whether they just tripped or have a bloody knee. there is no 'aww you got an owie?' unless the kid continues on with it for a bit. I also notice its the same kids who are only ever told they are fine and aren't allowed to decide for themselves first if that is true who will exaggerate every little thing. not to say this is the case with your child as mine definitely exaggerates things too sometimes but I'm talking about the children who become more and more dramatic as they get older as a means of getting attention as well as establishing their own feelings separate from what their parents tell them they are feeling.
> 
> I had a mom like that. I was always told how I felt. It wasn't just limited to physical pain either. Even as an older teenager, I was told what I was feeling in any given situation and whatever my mom thought I was feeling or thought I should be feeling was the only way she'd treat me. I got the 'you'd better drop that attitude!' for being angry. Anger wasn't allowed with her.
Click to expand...

 This is constant around here, especially little boys. I cannot tell you how many times I hear, "You're ok, be tough!" when I leave my house. Even little babies. I've heard moms and dads talking about how they told their infant boys to "be tough" during their circs or vax.

I get so upset when people don't allow emotions. The other day, we went to ILs for Sunday dinner. DS(2) had just woke up from a nap and was a little crabby. I walked in the door holding him, and he was kind of cuddling his face into my shoulder. DH's aunt says, "You better drop that attitude or we'll paddle your butt ya wimp!" Excuse me?! I was the first in the door, you have no idea what has happened to any of us in the past week, and NO ONE talks to my kids like that. Ever.


----------



## minkajane

I was told a couple of days ago that it's cool that I'm having a homebirth because all you need is the doctor at the end to cut you to keep you from tearing and bleeding to death.







I tried to tell him how crazy that was (in nicer words) and it seemed like he got it, but he basically talked over me every time I tried to explain why I was having a HB even though he asked in the first place.


----------



## Forthwith

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Lamashtu*
> 
> I was bf'ing DD while we were at a holiday party at DH's friend's house. Random guy who I had never seen before stopped, looked me up and down and said, "Mmmm, looking good. Can I have some?"


Eeeewwwwww!!!!!!! I'm skeezed out just from reading that!


----------



## kriket

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *ramlita*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *kriket*
> 
> Along the lines of scratching your head while PG, when I was PG with DS someone (I can't remember who) told me I shouldn't drive a 5spd car because I would wrap the cord around his neck. People get strange things in their head and just have to share I guess.
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *ramlita*
> 
> Wow, those two take the cake for making the least sense!! :scratch
> 
> She's otherwise, um, sensible?!?
> 
> 
> 
> I love your Avi  I'm a huge Hyperbole and a half fan
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> Thanks!!
> 
> (just saw this)
> 
> She really makes my day- I actually got dizzy from laughing too hard the night I discovered her and stayed up way too late reading Dogs Don't Understand Basic Concepts like Moving house,
> 
> the Alot stuff, and the one about days when everything makes you angry... The God of Cake was my introduction. She is my hero
Click to expand...

The one your Avi if from was my introduction, about being an adult. I was in stitches!

As to not be selfish, if you haven't seen, http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/ HILARIOUS!!


----------



## treeoflife3

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Super~Single~Mama*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *treeoflife3*
> 
> my favorite is 'quit your crying or I'll GIVE you something to cry about!
> 
> 
> 
> I see that you are in Tennessee or Kentucky - and I think part of it could be b/c of the place. The only people I know who say that are from the south. Now, I also know tons of great parents in the south (ALL of my family comes to mind since my entire extended family is southern), so I'm not trying to be offensive, but I've never met anyone who said that and didn't have some pretty serious southern roots. As soon as I read that I was like, Is she in the south? It was just a gut response.
Click to expand...

I actually grew up in the Madison, Wisconsin area and I was thinking mostly about my experiences there. I see a lot of it here too but its still common even in a very blue and liberal area. bleh.


----------



## AFWife

Not too horrible...but typical.

We were talking about homeschooling with DH's uncle and he said, "Send him to school! It builds relationships....immune system..."

My reply? "Oh, it's okay. I know plenty of moms that homeschool and don't vaccinate!"

Him: *blink*


----------



## Rainey Daye

My mom was prob one of the ones people would consider to be an original "crunchy granola"...since before the 60's-70's such stuff was just considered normal!! She kinda changed a bit from her crunchy ways about the time the fifth kiddo was born and money was tight...but she's still crunchy in some ways.

Anyway, so you would think that having been married to my mom all these years would have had SOME effect on my dad, but no!! You'd also think DH, having married me would be used to my ways. But when I mentioned on FB that I was looking for a bigger toy kitchen for DS, but was having problems finding ones that weren't pink and girly, I got a "why do you need a toy kitchen for a boy?" comment from my dad. When I mentioned getting DS a baby doll so he could learn how to be gentle with babies (since we plan on trying for another baby here really soon) my husband rolled his eyes and said "boys don't need dolls" but when I got one for him anyway, he hasn't said much and has actually kinda "played" with the doll and DS together a little bit. My dad on the other hand actually posted to my FB wall "Don't you give my grandSON a doll!! He's a boy!!"










I have no idea what he will think when he finds out we are gonna unschool. I homeschooled most of my schooling and a lot of that might as well have been unschooling (for as burnt out and uninterested in it as my mom got toward the end of my schooling...and as little effort as she put into the youngers), but just because we had schoolbooks, somehow that was better.


----------



## bcblondie

To a friend who's 4 month old just got teeth. "I hope you're bottlefeeding, otherwise ouch!!"

Another person to same friend "if she bites your nipple just flick her nose. It hurts and she'll stop. It hurts mommy too but it works"

!!!!!!!


----------



## Catubodua

now that i have a toddler ... "bite them back!"


----------



## bcblondie

Hey that's good advice. And if I child name calls then just call them names! What a great plan!


----------



## AFWife

And when the child forgets to feed the fish!


----------



## MusicianDad

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AFWife*
> 
> And when the child forgets to feed the fish!


Well obviously you 'forget' to feed them. After all, how will they ever learn anything if you don't make the same mistakes with them that they make. (yeah sarcasm)

Now here's the big question, what about when they accidentally kill the fish by trying to take it for a walk.


----------



## bcblondie

LOL Not going there....


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Agatha_Ann*
> 
> This is constant around here, especially little boys. I cannot tell you how many times I hear, "You're ok, be tough!" when I leave my house. Even little babies. I've heard moms and dads talking about how they told their infant boys to "be tough" during their circs or vax.
> 
> I get so upset when people don't allow emotions. The other day, we went to ILs for Sunday dinner. DS(2) had just woke up from a nap and was a little crabby. I walked in the door holding him, and he was kind of cuddling his face into my shoulder. DH's aunt says, "You better drop that attitude or we'll paddle your butt ya wimp!" Excuse me?! I was the first in the door, you have no idea what has happened to any of us in the past week, and NO ONE talks to my kids like that. Ever.


Did you walk right back out the door?


----------



## Hykue

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AFWife*
> 
> She was probably told it from her mother...who was told it from HER mother...who was told it from HER mother...etc


Okay, I don't have any fun parenting advice, since I'm not a parent yet, but this thread is great!

People really do pass on advice and ways of doing things without questioning them at all. My dad's aunt always cut the tips off of a steak before she would fry it. My dad asked why, and she said she did it because her mother had always done it that way. He asked her why her mother had always done it that way. So she asked her mother - turns out her frying pan was too small for most steaks, so she would cut off the corners to make them fit in the pan!


----------



## mommy212

I get so many things when people find out my 16 month old is still nursing, like "oh ya, i tried that, but I had to stop because of..." and SO many excuses! People seem to give up so easily, as soon as one thing happens, like sore nipples or engorgement or their first teeth.

We have started to give our son fortified soy milk with meals and snacks. When we told our grandparents he seemed to prefere the soy milk and we liked how healthy it was ( we buy the kind fortified with everything and dha and etc), they were blown away that we were feeding him that instead of "real milk." I wanted to laugh and say i am blown away they fed their babies formula instead of REAL milk but i didn't


----------



## aquarius aspiring

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Agatha_Ann*
> 
> This is constant around here, especially little boys. I cannot tell you how many times I hear, "You're ok, be tough!" when I leave my house. Even little babies. I've heard moms and dads talking about how they told their infant boys to "be tough" during their circs or vax.


I've seen that attitude around here as well (Virginia). A few years ago, I was living with roommates in a townhouse. A friend of theirs brought his young son over. I think the kid was around 1 or 2. The father wasn't watching his son very closely and the kid was wandering around the backyard. All of a sudden, the kid smacked his face hard on a lawnmower handle. The kid burst into tears and the father did nothing to comfort him and told him to suck it up and be "tough" and be a big boy. I actually went over and comforted the kid myself because I could tell he was upset and in pain.


----------



## Spring Lily

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AFWife*
> 
> Not too horrible...but typical.
> 
> We were talking about homeschooling with DH's uncle and he said, "Send him to school! It builds relationships....immune system..."
> 
> My reply? "Oh, it's okay. I know plenty of moms that homeschool and don't vaccinate!"
> 
> Him: *blink*


I wonder if he was talking about colds and flus? When kids go to school they do get sick a lot at first, which builds up their immunity. Maybe he was talking about things you can't vaccinate for?
Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Catubodua*
> 
> now that i have a toddler ... "bite them back!"


lol! Never say never! I was horrified by that idea, and then I had a son who went through a biting phase. I tried every gentle method I could and finally in desperation I did bite him! Of course it didn't work and he thought it was funny, so even that didn't work. But if you'd told me ahead of time that I'd ever do that, I *never* would have believed you!!


----------



## ramlita

That's awesome- and such a good example of "tradition." 

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Hykue*
> 
> Okay, I don't have any fun parenting advice, since I'm not a parent yet, but this thread is great!
> 
> People really do pass on advice and ways of doing things without questioning them at all. My dad's aunt always cut the tips off of a steak before she would fry it. My dad asked why, and she said she did it because her mother had always done it that way. He asked her why her mother had always done it that way. So she asked her mother - turns out her frying pan was too small for most steaks, so she would cut off the corners to make them fit in the pan!


----------



## capewell5

I love that I'm not alone with all the zany comments and questions we have received. Personally one of my all time ones was when i was talking socially about how we don't eat prepackaged food because of GMO/HFCS/dyes/sugar/Etc. I was told that I am "depriving my children the happiness of enjoying good food. It's good because it tastes good and makes them happy"

I was so dumbfounded. Sadly I bit my tongue about telling her what she was depriving her children of.

My second favorite is one i know a lot of homeschooling families get. "How do you socialize your children if they don't go to school?" .. "Which i usually reply with I had no idea school was about socializing, last time i checked it was about learning."


----------



## treeoflife3

I was told I was depriving my kiddo too for the exact same reason. well, technically they said 'I'd feel like I was depriving my kid!' but you know.. same thing really. Whats funny is, it came up within a conversation about school lunches and how some private school with 'fancy' (their word) lunches was also doing lunches for the public school their kids went to and how apparently they didn't understand how a school could serve it at all because kids won't eat it. Her example meal was seasoned chicken, rice, and asparagus. MY kid would eat that...

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *capewell5*
> 
> I love that I'm not alone with all the zany comments and questions we have received. Personally one of my all time ones was when i was talking socially about how we don't eat prepackaged food because of GMO/HFCS/dyes/sugar/Etc. I was told that I am "depriving my children the happiness of enjoying good food. It's good because it tastes good and makes them happy"
> 
> I was so dumbfounded. Sadly I bit my tongue about telling her what she was depriving her children of.
> 
> My second favorite is one i know a lot of homeschooling families get. "How do you socialize your children if they don't go to school?" .. "Which i usually reply with I had no idea school was about socializing, last time i checked it was about learning."


----------



## bcblondie

Ask her how social her kids were before they started school? Were they incapable of having friends/being friendly? If they don't start school at age 5 will they be incapable of being in large groups with people when they are older? I'll never understand that one...


----------



## lunarlady

I have a new one! I Took DD in for a well baby check, and the doc asked if we were doing cereal yet. I said no, I just do some fruits and veggies cut up small and she feeds herself. To this the doctor replied "you really need to start cereal. You know if you don't do it soon, she will never be able to learn to eat from a spoon." Never? So DD will be 22 and unable to order soup in nice company because she will never master the super complex task of eating using a spoon? Dang, I guess she is doomed to a life of salad since the window for learning to eat with a fork is apparently much longer.


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *capewell5*
> 
> I love that I'm not alone with all the zany comments and questions we have received. Personally one of my all time ones was when i was talking socially about how we don't eat prepackaged food because of GMO/HFCS/dyes/sugar/Etc. I was told that I am "depriving my children the happiness of enjoying good food. It's good because it tastes good and makes them happy"


FIL loves to tell me that I'm depriving my son by not giving him dairy...and he's lactose intolerant. I'm 95% he's joking...but it still BUGS THE CRAP OUT OF ME. He and MIL don't understand why I don't give my 2 year old junk food. He loves fruit and juice so why mess that up?


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *lunarlady*
> 
> I have a new one! I Took DD in for a well baby check, and the doc asked if we were doing cereal yet. I said no, I just do some fruits and veggies cut up small and she feeds herself. To this the doctor replied "you really need to start cereal. You know if you don't do it soon, she will never be able to learn to eat from a spoon." Never? So DD will be 22 and unable to order soup in nice company because she will never master the super complex task of eating using a spoon? Dang, I guess she is doomed to a life of salad since the window for learning to eat with a fork is apparently much longer.


Well, we should set her up with my son because he never did rice cereal either...and the younger one won't either!


----------



## treeoflife3

My friend was told that!! Specifically she was told if she didn't start spoon feeding between 4 and 6 months (but closer to 4 is best) then the kid would never learn how to eat with a spoon or swallow. I ranted at her about how STUPID that was and how it made absolutely NO SENSE whatsoever and she still went with it because the doctor said so.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *lunarlady*
> 
> I have a new one! I Took DD in for a well baby check, and the doc asked if we were doing cereal yet. I said no, I just do some fruits and veggies cut up small and she feeds herself. To this the doctor replied "you really need to start cereal. You know if you don't do it soon, she will never be able to learn to eat from a spoon." Never? So DD will be 22 and unable to order soup in nice company because she will never master the super complex task of eating using a spoon? Dang, I guess she is doomed to a life of salad since the window for learning to eat with a fork is apparently much longer.


----------



## katelove

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *lunarlady*
> 
> I have a new one! I Took DD in for a well baby check, and the doc asked if we were doing cereal yet. I said no, I just do some fruits and veggies cut up small and she feeds herself. To this the doctor replied "you really need to start cereal. You know if you don't do it soon, she will never be able to learn to eat from a spoon." Never? So DD will be 22 and unable to order soup in nice company because she will never master the super complex task of eating using a spoon? Dang, I guess she is doomed to a life of salad since the window for learning to eat with a fork is apparently much longer.


There is a well known baby website which has activities to do to help your babies develop certain skills. Most of them are just fun games to help with co-ordination etc but one of them is going through the motions of spoon feeding and the "skill" to be developed is identified as "being spoon fed".


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *katelove*
> 
> There is a well known baby website which has activities to do to help your babies develop certain skills. Most of them are just fun games to help with co-ordination etc but one of them is going through the motions of spoon feeding and the "skill" to be developed is identified as "being spoon fed".


I remember reading that with DS1...I said to DH, "Well, he feeds himself and will take tastes off our spoons...same thing."


----------



## tooraloora

I was told that I was abusing my child by denying her processed sugar, and that she'd end up malnourished because of it. This person also made a call to CPS about it.


----------



## Kelly1101

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *lunarlady*
> 
> I have a new one! I Took DD in for a well baby check, and the doc asked if we were doing cereal yet. I said no, I just do some fruits and veggies cut up small and she feeds herself. To this the doctor replied "you really need to start cereal. You know if you don't do it soon, she will never be able to learn to eat from a spoon." Never? So DD will be 22 and unable to order soup in nice company because she will never master the super complex task of eating using a spoon? Dang, I guess she is doomed to a life of salad since the window for learning to eat with a fork is apparently much longer.


LMAO.

Reminds me of my mom's total hang up about Emma eating with a spoon. By the time she was 12 months, she was a complete self-feeder, and I usually just did small bits of food that she would eat with her fingers. My mom went ape-poop. "She has to use a spoon? Why won't you give her oatmeal? She'll never learn to use a spoon!" I laughed and said the same thing: "NEVER? Really? You know I would have thought by age 30 she'd figure it out..." (which earned me the "roll my eyes at my horrible mean daughter" look). She just turned 2 and she uses a spoon just fine.


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Kelly1101*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *lunarlady*
> 
> I have a new one! I Took DD in for a well baby check, and the doc asked if we were doing cereal yet. I said no, I just do some fruits and veggies cut up small and she feeds herself. To this the doctor replied "you really need to start cereal. You know if you don't do it soon, she will never be able to learn to eat from a spoon." Never? So DD will be 22 and unable to order soup in nice company because she will never master the super complex task of eating using a spoon? Dang, I guess she is doomed to a life of salad since the window for learning to eat with a fork is apparently much longer.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> LMAO.
> 
> Reminds me of my mom's total hang up about Emma eating with a spoon. By the time she was 12 months, she was a complete self-feeder, and I usually just did small bits of food that she would eat with her fingers. My mom went ape-poop. "She has to use a spoon? Why won't you give her oatmeal? She'll never learn to use a spoon!" I laughed and said the same thing: "NEVER? Really? You know I would have thought by age 30 she'd figure it out..." (which earned me the "roll my eyes at my horrible mean daughter" look). She just turned 2 and she uses a spoon just fine.
Click to expand...

I don't understand how MY feeding my child with a spoon will teach HIM to use it....


----------



## Summersquash

Not terrible or anything, just silly...

After a recent long drive in the car, I was speaking with my mother on the phone.

Her: How did the trip go?

Me: Oh, it was fine, except that DD and I both seemed to feel a little nauseous in the back seat for some reason.

Her: That's because she is still REAR facing! It's time you turned her around.

Because alleviating a little minor nausea on one of numerous car trips we have taken is more important than following widely accepted safety guidelines to protect rear facing children in car seats.







(And there's no telling whether turning her around would have made a difference...I was nauseous on that trip too and I was obviously front facing.)


----------



## Snowflake777

This isn't the dumbest thing I've heard, but it's the most recent:

DH & I are friends with a couple who are expecting their first baby. DH & the father (I'll call him Fred) were chatting about newborns & sleep, and his friend told him that they weren't worried about it at all, they were "just going to organise things" so that the baby would sleep 8 hours a night. DH dug a little deeper and apparently Fred's friend had said that his baby had STTN from the start, so Fred assumed it would be no problem to just arrange to do that too.

Because it's that simple - you just arrange it that way! Why didn't I think of that??







I joked to DH that while they were at it, maybe they could arrange for the weather to be good too.

(Not that I'm in a position to laugh too much - I thought some equally silly things back when I was pregnant for the first time. Ignorance is bliss!







)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *lunarlady*
> 
> I have a new one! I Took DD in for a well baby check, and the doc asked if we were doing cereal yet. I said no, I just do some fruits and veggies cut up small and she feeds herself. To this the doctor replied "you really need to start cereal. You know if you don't do it soon, she will never be able to learn to eat from a spoon." Never? So DD will be 22 and unable to order soup in nice company because she will never master the super complex task of eating using a spoon? Dang, I guess she is doomed to a life of salad since the window for learning to eat with a fork is apparently much longer.


LOL! We got that one too, from several people. Why would people say something that so obviously makes no sense?

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *tooraloora*
> 
> I was told that I was abusing my child by denying her processed sugar, and that she'd end up malnourished because of it. This person also made a call to CPS about it.










How does she think our ancestors survived??

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Summersquash*
> 
> Not terrible or anything, just silly...
> 
> After a recent long drive in the car, I was speaking with my mother on the phone.
> 
> Her: How did the trip go?
> 
> Me: Oh, it was fine, except that DD and I both seemed to feel a little nauseous in the back seat for some reason.
> 
> Her: That's because she is still REAR facing! It's time you turned her around.
> 
> Because alleviating a little minor nausea on one of numerous car trips we have taken is more important than following widely accepted safety guidelines to protect rear facing children in car seats.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> (And there's no telling whether turning her around would have made a difference...I was nauseous on that trip too and I was obviously front facing.)


Ugh, my mother has said similar things. Not about nausea, but going on about how we should turn DD FF so that she would have a better view. Yes, because that's way more important than her safety.


----------



## Lady Lilya

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *bcblondie*
> 
> Ask her how social her kids were before they started school? Were they incapable of having friends/being friendly? If they don't start school at age 5 will they be incapable of being in large groups with people when they are older? I'll never understand that one...


It is a different kind of dynamic that kids learn in a school setting. Which is why I don't want mine in school. What they learn is not how to interact with equals, but how to compete with equals for favor of the authority figure.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Hykue*
> 
> Okay, I don't have any fun parenting advice, since I'm not a parent yet, but this thread is great!
> 
> People really do pass on advice and ways of doing things without questioning them at all. My dad's aunt always cut the tips off of a steak before she would fry it. My dad asked why, and she said she did it because her mother had always done it that way. He asked her why her mother had always done it that way. So she asked her mother - turns out her frying pan was too small for most steaks, so she would cut off the corners to make them fit in the pan!


There is a story about 3 gorillas in a cage. They hang a banana in the center of the cage. When the gorillas go for it, they hose them down with icy water. After a while of doing this, when they stop showing any interest in the banana, you switch out one of the gorillas for a new one. When he goes to grab the banana, the other gorillas will grab him and stop him. Switch out another one of the original gorillas, and the 2 other gorillas, even the one who had never been hosed, will both stop him. Keep switching them out until you have no original gorillas, and they will all stay away from the banana, because that is how things are done. Nobody has any clue why, but they will continue forever.


----------



## capewell5

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *treeoflife3*
> 
> I was told I was depriving my kiddo too for the exact same reason. well, technically they said 'I'd feel like I was depriving my kid!' but you know.. same thing really. Whats funny is, it came up within a conversation about school lunches and how some private school with 'fancy' (their word) lunches was also doing lunches for the public school their kids went to and how apparently they didn't understand how a school could serve it at all because kids won't eat it. Her example meal was seasoned chicken, rice, and asparagus. MY kid would eat that...


Whenever i talk food with, non-enlightened folks as i like to call them, depriving always comes up. Like there is some right of passage to being a kid that depends on eating junk food & candy.

Of course all of this came out of the same woman who sat and told me to my face that Celiacs disease isn't real, it's just people trying to be different & seeking attention.







I really, at that point, just walked away shaking my head because there is no arguing with people like her. Which is sad because it is a very real disease that affects more people than anyone realizes.

Quote:


> I was told that I was abusing my child by denying her processed sugar, and that she'd end up malnourished because of it. This person also made a call to CPS about it.


That is just plain wrong. Since when has processed sugar ever been a nourishment that we can not live without. lol Like someone else stated, How on Earth did our ancestors survive lol

Ugh i can't believe she actually called CPS because of it. I hope they laughed in her face instead of putting your family through the ringer!


----------



## tooraloora

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *capewell5*
> 
> That is just plain wrong. Since when has processed sugar ever been a nourishment that we can not live without. lol Like someone else stated, How on Earth did our ancestors survive lol
> 
> Ugh i can't believe she actually called CPS because of it. I hope they laughed in her face instead of putting your family through the ringer!


They had been called everyday that week (obnoxious neighbors), so though they came out for every call, they'd already decided I knew what I was doing, and we just had a quick chat at the front door so they could say they checked it out ("We got a call on such and such. How have you been? How is DD? Don't worry, they'll be bored of you in a month, and we'll be coming out for someone else.") They'd also had to come out because I'd traded my DD for a dog. Apparently they'll come out for all sorts of stupidity. They started ignoring the calls after about a week and a half. Between trading her in for pets and depriving her of essential nutrients (like HFCS), I don't know how DD has survived me.


----------



## MissMaegie'sMama

I always see this thread in the ranks, but I've never had a good enough story to post here. Until now.









I have a hyphenated last name (my birth surname & my DH's surname). A couple weeks ago, I went to the polls to vote, and the elderly lady who volunteers at the polling place in my ward was trying to find my name among those of the other registered voters on her list. I jokingly told her, "Just look for the longest last name on the page." She found it and said, "That IS a long name. I hope you don't give your kids that name. You have to think of the little ones, you know." I couldn't believe it... she was giving me some rather meddlesome and rude advice on what I ought to not name my kids! I mean really- whether or not my kids have my name, my DH's name, or some combo of the two is NONE OF YOUR DANG BUSINESS, lady.


----------



## lunarlady

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AFWife*
> 
> I don't understand how MY feeding my child with a spoon will teach HIM to use it....


Apparently the difficult skill to master is not bringing the spoon to the mouth, but rather the super complex task of sucking, slurping, or dumping food in the mouth. And since when did being "spoon fed" go from a privilege equated with laziness to a fundamental right and skill all children should master? In the teaching profession we complain about kids who expect curriculum to be spoon fed. Humm...I am starting to see a pattern here.


----------



## KempsMama

I recently got into an argument on FB about baby led weaning. Apparently it's "too new" for any "sound research" to have been done to convince her it's safe....

Where's that head smack smilie???


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *KempsMama*
> 
> I recently got into an argument on FB about baby led weaning. Apparently it's "too new" for any "sound research" to have been done to convince her it's safe....
> 
> Where's that head smack smilie???


Oh yeah, the stares I got/get are ridiculous. Even now that he's 2 I get weird looks when I "let" him eat things that, I guess, normal two year old don't have. (Like, I don't slice up his hotdogs...I just hand him one)


----------



## Kelly1101

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Summersquash*
> 
> Not terrible or anything, just silly...
> 
> After a recent long drive in the car, I was speaking with my mother on the phone.
> 
> Her: How did the trip go?
> 
> Me: Oh, it was fine, except that DD and I both seemed to feel a little nauseous in the back seat for some reason.
> 
> Her: That's because she is still REAR facing! It's time you turned her around.
> 
> Because alleviating a little minor nausea on one of numerous car trips we have taken is more important than following widely accepted safety guidelines to protect rear facing children in car seats.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> (And there's no telling whether turning her around would have made a difference...I was nauseous on that trip too and I was obviously front facing.)


My mom would say crap like that, finally I had to spam her Facebook with crash test videos. She actually watched them, to her credit, and I said "okay, now you know that I'm in the city where you think everyone drives crazy-- do you want me to drive around your grandchild with the possibility of someone hitting us head-on, and her being forward facing so that her spine will separate and her neck breaks?"

Haven't heard a peep from her since.


----------



## Smokering

Quote:


> Of course all of this came out of the same woman who sat and told me to my face that Celiacs disease isn't real, it's just people trying to be different & seeking attention.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I really, at that point, just walked away shaking my head because there is no arguing with people like her. Which is sad because it is a very real disease that affects more people than anyone realizes.


DH's best friend... with whom I have many issues... insisted until recently that depression wasn't real either, and that me and another depressed friend should "just snap out of it". He said this for years... until he got depression. Now he believes in it, but every time the subject comes up, does nothing but insist we go on antidepressants, and that they don't have side effects... because his sister-in-law is on them, and she didn't gain weight.

I'm not anti-antidepressants (as it were), but I don't like the thought of taking them myself... and besides, he isn't on them either. So. Grrr.

Apparently he has a great respect for his SIL, though. He has repeatedly stated that breastfeeding kids beyond 18 months is "weird", because that's when she weaned her kids. And someone else he knows formula fed and "her kids turned out fine", so he doesn't believe that breastfeeding is actually better than FF...

He is, incidentally, single and childless.


----------



## Snowflake777

Quote:


> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *KempsMama*
> 
> I recently got into an argument on FB about baby led weaning. Apparently it's "too new" for any "sound research" to have been done to convince her it's safe....
> 
> Where's that head smack smilie???
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *AFWife*
> 
> Oh yeah, the stares I got/get are ridiculous. Even now that he's 2 I get weird looks when I "let" him eat things that, I guess, normal two year old don't have. (Like, I don't slice up his hotdogs...I just hand him one)
Click to expand...

People are nutty.

My MIL thought I was giving DD pieces of food because I was simply unaware that babies are usually fed purees.









Then of course there were many concerned conversations about how DD was going to choke. The whole reason I we tried BLW in the first place was that DD choked on purees, but did just fine when she had something to gnaw on. She could sit there watching DD happily gumming her food with no problems, and still say "You can't give her that, she doesn't have enough teeth yet!!".


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Snowflake777*
> 
> People are nutty.
> 
> My MIL thought I was giving DD pieces of food because I was simply unaware that babies are usually fed purees.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Then of course there were many concerned conversations about how DD was going to choke. The whole reason I we tried BLW in the first place was that DD choked on purees, but did just fine when she had something to gnaw on. She could sit there watching DD happily gumming her food with no problems, and still say "You can't give her that, she doesn't have enough teeth yet!!".


I got that comment all.the.time. "But he doesn't have teeth!!!" Of course, I was a "bad parent" in the eyes of some because I didn't start rice cereal at 8 weeks...and let DS go without solids until 9 months (his choice, he didn't CARE about food)

I was also a bad mommy because I didn't give him a pacifier...

I'm a bad mommy now because I let my DS2 sleep in the swing (he sleeps almost all night that way) BUT when DS1 didn't STTN I was doing something wrong there too


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Snowflake777*
> 
> People are nutty.
> 
> My MIL thought I was giving DD pieces of food because I was simply unaware that babies are usually fed purees.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Then of course there were many concerned conversations about how DD was going to choke. The whole reason I we tried BLW in the first place was that DD choked on purees, but did just fine when she had something to gnaw on. She could sit there watching DD happily gumming her food with no problems, and still say "You can't give her that, she doesn't have enough teeth yet!!".


I got that comment all.the.time. "But he doesn't have teeth!!!" Of course, I was a "bad parent" in the eyes of some because I didn't start rice cereal at 8 weeks...and let DS go without solids until 9 months (his choice, he didn't CARE about food)

I was also a bad mommy because I didn't give him a pacifier...

I'm a bad mommy now because I let my DS2 sleep in the swing (he sleeps almost all night that way) BUT when DS1 didn't STTN I was doing something wrong there too


----------



## Snowflake777

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AFWife*
> 
> I got that comment all.the.time. "But he doesn't have teeth!!!" Of course, I was a "bad parent" in the eyes of some because I didn't start rice cereal at 8 weeks...and let DS go without solids until 9 months (his choice, he didn't CARE about food)
> 
> I was also a bad mommy because I didn't give him a pacifier...
> 
> I'm a bad mommy now because I let my DS2 sleep in the swing (he sleeps almost all night that way) BUT when DS1 didn't STTN I was doing something wrong there too


We should start bad mommy club - I never gave DD a paci either. I cannot believe how much people carried on about it. My MIL brought it up every time we saw her for the first 6 months. DD was totally, 100% content without one, so what exactly was the problem??


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Snowflake777*
> 
> We should start bad mommy club - I never gave DD a paci either. I cannot believe how much people carried on about it. My MIL brought it up every time we saw her for the first 6 months. DD was totally, 100% content without one, so what exactly was the problem??


 To quote my MIL, "That's because YOU were the pacifier!!!" like I gave him crack or something.


----------



## Catubodua

my most recent is my mom's campaign to get me to put a jacket on my son when he's in the car. not needed - i've got the heat on, and it's safer to not have them have a big jacket inbetween them and the carseat straps. i've got a coat in the car with us, in case we break down or whatever, but he doesn't need it on. she kept insisting, until i asked why she didn't insist he have a coat on in the house. it's the same thing - the heat is on. she didn't have an answer, but looked like she was sucking a lemon for a while.


----------



## capewell5

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Snowflake777*
> 
> We should start bad mommy club - I never gave DD a paci either. I cannot believe how much people carried on about it. My MIL brought it up every time we saw her for the first 6 months. DD was totally, 100% content without one, so what exactly was the problem??


I never let my babies have pacifiers either. I almost flipped my lid one day when my MIL forcefully held one in my DS1 mouth & stated 'see he likes it'. Of course the min she removed her hand he spit it out. I was even told that my DD was eating too much and i should 'just give her a pacifier to suck on instead of giving her a bottle' (i pumped hence the bottle).

Over 8 years I had read an article that was finding a correlation between pacifiers and addictive personalities later in life.. really wish i could find where I read it at.


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *capewell5*
> 
> I never let my babies have pacifiers either. I almost flipped my lid one day when my MIL forcefully held one in my DS1 mouth & stated 'see he likes it'. Of course the min she removed her hand he spit it out. I was even told that my DD was eating too much and i should 'just give her a pacifier to suck on instead of giving her a bottle' (i pumped hence the bottle).
> 
> Over 8 years I had read an article that was finding a correlation between pacifiers and addictive personalities later in life.. really wish i could find where I read it at.


I tried pacifiers with both of them...and had that reaction. Two sucks and spit. Of course, I got the "you waited too long to introduce it" and "you have to try different nipple shapes." And then when I said I didnt' want them addicted to it she said, "Yeah, [youngest son] was addicted to his until his doctor made me take it away because of his reflux..."


----------



## rachelalfreda

My family recently insisted that I "teach" my 6 week old infant to lay down on his own more instead of carrying him in the Moby all the time.

I said, "i'd rather have a sore back than a crying baby."

The funny part was that after that when I DID put him down to go to the bathroom etc someone was always right there to scoop him up!


----------



## jenP

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *katelove*
> 
> There is a well known baby website which has activities to do to help your babies develop certain skills. Most of them are just fun games to help with co-ordination etc but one of them is going through the motions of spoon feeding and the "skill" to be developed is identified as "being spoon fed".










"being spoon fed" IS an important skill to develop!!! What if he is hospitalized due to an accident, or in a nursing home someday and has to be spoon fed and CAN'T DO IT because his parents didn't bother to teach him, as a baby, how to slurp puree off a spoon and swallow it???


----------



## jenP

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *treeoflife3*
> 
> My friend was told that!! Specifically she was told if she didn't start spoon feeding between 4 and 6 months (but closer to 4 is best) then the kid would never learn how to eat with a spoon or swallow. I ranted at her about how STUPID that was and how it made absolutely NO SENSE whatsoever and she still went with it because the doctor said so.


The "OR SWALLOW" part is what really gets me.... has the kid so far been spitting out all the breastmilk or formula that goes in his mouth?


----------



## jenP

This reminds me of people who are expecting their first child, but think they are prepared because they have pets.







Especially cats.









I just smile and nod. They'll find out soon enough!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Snowflake777*
> 
> This isn't the dumbest thing I've heard, but it's the most recent:
> 
> DH & I are friends with a couple who are expecting their first baby. DH & the father (I'll call him Fred) were chatting about newborns & sleep, and his friend told him that they weren't worried about it at all, they were "just going to organise things" so that the baby would sleep 8 hours a night. DH dug a little deeper and apparently Fred's friend had said that his baby had STTN from the start, so Fred assumed it would be no problem to just arrange to do that too.
> 
> Because it's that simple - you just arrange it that way! Why didn't I think of that??
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I joked to DH that while they were at it, maybe they could arrange for the weather to be good too.
> 
> (Not that I'm in a position to laugh too much - I thought some equally silly things back when I was pregnant for the first time. Ignorance is bliss!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> )


----------



## KristyDi

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AFWife*
> 
> Oh yeah, the stares I got/get are ridiculous. Even now that he's 2 I get weird looks when I "let" him eat things that, I guess, normal two year old don't have. (Like, I don't slice up his hotdogs...I just hand him one)


Yeah, I've had that experience a couple of times. DD likes mildly spicy things and lots of people freak out about that. Like when I offered DD a piece of my spicy salmon roll recently at the japanese steakhouse. A couple of other moms (strangers) at the table commented. One said, "That's SPICY!" the other said "Isn't that RAW?" Thanks ladies, I hadn't noticed either of those things when was eating the rest of the roll. Oh and DD is 3, so it's not like she hasn't been eating solids for a while. You should have seen their faces when DD picked up her chopsticks and chowed down.

Then I was visiting a mom's group with a friend and handed DD a small bunch of grapes. You'd have thought I was handing her lit dynamite. I got a 15 min lecture on how grapes are a huge choking hazard and I should cut then into quarters before giving them to DD. Halves aren't good enough. They're a big choking hazard that way too apparently.

I did not join that group.

Oh and I posted a video of her at 10 months going to town on a whole turkey wing. That got some shocked comments.


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *KristyDi*
> 
> Yeah, I've had that experience a couple of times. DD likes mildly spicy things and lots of people freak out about that. Like when I offered DD a piece of my spicy salmon roll recently at the japanese steakhouse. A couple of other moms (strangers) at the table commented. One said, "That's SPICY!" the other said "Isn't that RAW?" Thanks ladies, I hadn't noticed either of those things when was eating the rest of the roll. Oh and DD is 3, so it's not like she hasn't been eating solids for a while. You should have seen their faces when DD picked up her chopsticks and chowed down.
> 
> Then I was visiting a mom's group with a friend and handed DD a small bunch of grapes. You'd have thought I was handing her lit dynamite. I got a 15 min lecture on how grapes are a huge choking hazard and I should cut then into quarters before giving them to DD. Halves aren't good enough. They're a big choking hazard that way too apparently.
> 
> I did not join that group.
> 
> Oh and I posted a video of her at 10 months going to town on a whole turkey wing. That got some shocked comments.


You're supposed to cut up grapes? I guess I should know that...DS just bites them in half.

On the spicy thing: A friend came to visit and thought it was SO COOL that DS was eating the spicy chorizo sausage we were eating for breakfast. I'll never understand why people think babies need bland and boring foods. Like MIL being weirded out because "you're supposed to start with rice cereal." She couldn't give a reason why...you're just supposed to!


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *lunarlady*
> 
> I have a new one! I Took DD in for a well baby check, and the doc asked if we were doing cereal yet. I said no, I just do some fruits and veggies cut up small and she feeds herself. To this the doctor replied "you really need to start cereal. You know if you don't do it soon, she will never be able to learn to eat from a spoon." Never? So DD will be 22 and unable to order soup in nice company because she will never master the super complex task of eating using a spoon? Dang, I guess she is doomed to a life of salad since the window for learning to eat with a fork is apparently much longer.


lol

So, we never did cereal and just gave dd her own spoon to manage as best she could when we were all having soup or lentil mush or whatever spoon-appropriate food there was. By the time she was 16 months she was able to use her spoon to feed ME applesauce on a moving train.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Kelly1101*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *Summersquash*
> 
> Not terrible or anything, just silly...
> 
> After a recent long drive in the car, I was speaking with my mother on the phone.
> 
> Her: How did the trip go?
> 
> Me: Oh, it was fine, except that DD and I both seemed to feel a little nauseous in the back seat for some reason.
> 
> Her: That's because she is still REAR facing! It's time you turned her around.
> 
> Because alleviating a little minor nausea on one of numerous car trips we have taken is more important than following widely accepted safety guidelines to protect rear facing children in car seats.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> (And there's no telling whether turning her around would have made a difference...I was nauseous on that trip too and I was obviously front facing.)
> 
> 
> 
> My mom would say crap like that, finally I had to spam her Facebook with crash test videos. She actually watched them, to her credit, and I said "okay, now you know that I'm in the city where you think everyone drives crazy-- do you want me to drive around your grandchild with the possibility of someone hitting us head-on, and her being forward facing so that her spine will separate and her neck breaks?"
> 
> Haven't heard a peep from her since.
Click to expand...

Nice! I'm proud of your mother for being willing to see the videos.


----------



## sparklefairy

http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/tag/dietexercise-industry/page/3/

But don't you want her to have ENERGY!?!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *tooraloora*
> 
> I was told that I was abusing my child by denying her processed sugar, and that she'd end up malnourished because of it. This person also made a call to CPS about it.


----------



## Snowflake777

I've never understood the no spicy/exotic foods thing either. What do they think kids eat in other countries?


----------



## tooraloora

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *sparklefairy*
> 
> http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/tag/dietexercise-industry/page/3/
> 
> But don't you want her to have ENERGY!?!


Absolutely not. Then she might Watusi with her friends, and that sounds dirty.


----------



## betsu63

People say the things they do about grapes and hotdogs because statisically they are common choking hazards. I realize that you can't protect your children from every little thing, but it doesn't hurt to err on the side of caution sometimes. I know of a child who choked to death on a grape.


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *betsu63*
> 
> People say the things they do about grapes and hotdogs because statisically they are common choking hazards. I realize that you can't protect your children from every little thing, but it doesn't hurt to err on the side of caution sometimes. I know of a child who choked to death on a grape.


I think in a lot of situations you have to know your child. I know my son is fine eating most things. I'd never tried grapes, honestly, until this weekend. I watched him like a hawk for the first 3 and then was satisfied that he could eat them safely...


----------



## MamaSquish

Oh lord, the best has got to be my boyfriend's grandmother, upon seeing that our now 4-month-old son is STILL (gasp) NOT CIRCUMCISED, shaking her head and saying she hoped we'd "have him done" and that I "better make sure I pull that skin back and clean under it, cause it'll grow to him!"

Then she told me a horrific story about how she had to hold down her now-grown grandson when he was a baby and pull his foreskin back because "it had grown to him."

Needless to say it'll be a cold day in hell before she gets to babysit for us.


----------



## mommy212

my LO likes spicy/weird foods too. I fed him spinach curry when he was about 10 months or so... My sister panicked! It was really funny but for some reason it made me super happy that he liked such an interesting flavor. He also likes spicy foods. My mom's friend said, on seeing me hand him a few strips of homemade hot wings, "You can't feed the child that, you'll sear off his taste buds and it'll ruin food for him!" I laughed and laughed... this from the woman whose diet literally consists of meat and white bread.


----------



## Kelly1101

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan*
> 
> Nice! I'm proud of your mother for being willing to see the videos.


I am, too.

She's really not bad at all, and very well-meaning, she just has the "I raised you *this* way and you turned out great, why would you want to do anything different? Are you saying I wasn't a good parent?" complex. She does try to keep a reign on herself most of the time, lol. I have my standard line I give her when she starts going on about something "You know, mom, next time you have a baby, you can do WHATEVER YOU WANT WITH IT." At which point she laughs and says I'm mean. But she gets the message and we still like each other.


----------



## KristyDi

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AFWife*
> 
> I think in a lot of situations you have to know your child. I know my son is fine eating most things. I'd never tried grapes, honestly, until this weekend. I watched him like a hawk for the first 3 and then was satisfied that he could eat them safely...


I agree. At the time of my grape safety lecture DD was nearly 3 and had been eating grapes since I first gave them to her at around a year old. When I first gave them to her I did cut then in half and then when I first gave them to her whole I watched her to see how she handled them. Also, grapes aren't running around and playing food in our house. They're sit down and eat food, which reduces the choking risk IMO.


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *KristyDi*
> 
> I agree. At the time of my grape safety lecture DD was nearly 3 and had been eating grapes since I first gave them to her at around a year old. When I first gave them to her I did cut then in half and then when I first gave them to her whole I watched her to see how she handled them. Also, grapes aren't running around and playing food in our house. They're sit down and eat food, which reduces the choking risk IMO.


Honestly, we don't have a lot of running and playing food in the house for that very reason. He has things that he can eat on the couch or in the living room (fruit and dry snacks) but it gets taken up the instant active play starts...


----------



## katelove

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AFWife*
> 
> Honestly, we don't have a lot of running and playing food in the house for that very reason. He has things that he can eat on the couch or in the living room (fruit and dry snacks) but it gets taken up the instant active play starts...


Yep, any food can be choked on really even if some things do lend themselves more to it due to shape/size/texture.


----------



## treeoflife3

Personally, I didn't want to do spicy food but that is because I am REALLY sensitive to it and didn't want to deal with a confused one year old with a burning tongue equally as sensitive as me... I know I can't get rid of that burn quickly for myself. It looks like my kiddo is good with spicy though as she's gotten some as she's aged a bit.

however, I don't cut grapes.. she also eats nuts and seeds. She doesn't forget to chew though. She is a great eater (well, when she actually EATS *sigh*) so I don't feel I need to make sure everything she can eat can slip down her throat unchewed. Now, if she were a fast eater or would forget to chew if something excited her or whatever, I'd do things differently.


----------



## Greenlea

My grandmother is one of those that insists on giving the baby cereal in his bottle so he'll sleep through the night. I keep telling her my son doesn't get a bottle, he nurses. And I've tried giving him some fruits/veggies at 5mths old, but he just won't eat them. I can't exactly force him to eat some cereal just so he'll sleep.

She also told me with my DS1 to give him a chicken bone to gnaw on when he starts teething!?

She says all the time that I don't need to feed my son organic because she has lived 80 yrs eating whatever she wants and she's fine.


----------



## sweetmilk

My pediatrician told me to stop breastfeeding my child so much and to give him a pacifier instead because he was gaining a pound a week for the first month. Well that WAS my pediatrician!!!


----------



## sweetmilk

that is insane !!!!!


----------



## sweetmilk

that was the cause of my "that is insane"

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MamaSquish*
> 
> Oh lord, the best has got to be my boyfriend's grandmother, upon seeing that our now 4-month-old son is STILL (gasp) NOT CIRCUMCISED, shaking her head and saying she hoped we'd "have him done" and that I "better make sure I pull that skin back and clean under it, cause it'll grow to him!"
> 
> Then she told me a horrific story about how she had to hold down her now-grown grandson when he was a baby and pull his foreskin back because "it had grown to him."
> 
> Needless to say it'll be a cold day in hell before she gets to babysit for us.


----------



## capewell5

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *betsu63*
> 
> People say the things they do about grapes and hotdogs because statisically they are common choking hazards. I realize that you can't protect your children from every little thing, but it doesn't hurt to err on the side of caution sometimes. I know of a child who choked to death on a grape.


My rule of thumb with grapes is to peel them but i don't cut them. I used to peel & cut them the first time around. Hot dogs, eh my DD spit it out but we had halved it and chopped it.

My house rule is that all food is eaten at the table (DD is still in her high chair right now), until they are old enough to pick up after themselves, so i don't have to worry about her running around with food. Choking is a real hazard but I think its each parents business what they feel is OK, because we know our kids better than anyone else. We've probably given our kids all kinds of things that probably are not normal lol.. Just today DH gave DD the core of a pineapple to suck on.. *sigh* she didn't give it up for almost an hour. My boys used to eat spicy food too but now they won't touch it.


----------



## betsu63

Yes, I agree the risk is greatly reduced if the child is expected to sit to eat. I know that anyone can choke. I guess I just worry about the high risk objects that are this way because they plug the airway easier due to their roundness. It doesn't take long to cut a hotdog or grapes in half lengthwise. I can't imagine how it would feel to lose a child. That said I don't know what a realistic age would be to stop.I am sure a child doesn't want their Momma to do it when they are in High School. LOL


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *betsu63*
> 
> Yes, I agree the risk is greatly reduced if the child is expected to sit to eat. I know that anyone can choke. I guess I just worry about the high risk objects that are this way because they plug the airway easier due to their roundness. It doesn't take long to cut a hotdog or grapes in half lengthwise. I can't imagine how it would feel to lose a child. That said I don't know what a realistic age would be to stop.I am sure a child doesn't want their Momma to do it when they are in High School. LOL


My son started refusing to eat them cut up (like, sliced and then cut into pieces) around 18mo. He did that with banana too. He'd scream and get mad...


----------



## GoBecGo

A friend told me this one...

Her MIL was saying (of her co-sleeping babe), "oh mymymy, it's such a bad habit, letting that baby in your bed, you've made a bad habit, you'll never break it! How will you break it? You can't, you CAN'T!" and my friend replied, "it sure is a problem, i let your son in my bed ONE TIME and he's STILL there too".


----------



## limabean

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *GoBecGo*
> 
> A friend told me this one...
> 
> Her MIL was saying (of her co-sleeping babe), "oh mymymy, it's such a bad habit, letting that baby in your bed, you've made a bad habit, you'll never break it! How will you break it? You can't, you CAN'T!" and my friend replied, "it sure is a problem, i let your son in my bed ONE TIME and he's STILL there too".


----------



## vtechmom

Background, my son nursed until he was 4 and my daughter nursed until she was 3. I was/am very vocal about how important breastfeeding is, all of the benefits, etc... That did not stop my mother from CONSTANTLY interjecting that anything past the 4 months that she nursed my brother and I just isn't necessary, and she spent years bugging me about weaning the kids. I'm now re-married and expecting #3 for me and #1 for DH.

I'm over my parent's talking with my mom and had this conversation:

Me: It's going to be harder to nurse this time around since I have to go back to work when the baby is 4 months.

My Mom: Yeah, but the baby will be fine, you'll have nursed them for the four months they need.

Ack!, Woman, have you missed everything I've said and/or done over the last 12 years? I wasn't talking about weaning, I was referring to having to pump this time. She STILL can't accept that I EBF, and apparently somehow thinks that after 12 years of touting it's benefits I'm going to change my mind. She also thinks I'm crazy for cloth diapering and that it will be to much work (yep, did that with the other kiddos as well) and that a homebirth is crazy (had the last at a birthcenter which she can't understand is really no different than a homebirth, especially since I'm closer to a hospital than the birthcenter was). I still thank my ex-husband's aunt for sending me a subscription to Mothering when I was pregnant with #1, it was a lifesaver to be able to see other moms out there like myself.


----------



## RubyWild

My DD was breech the last 3 months of my pregnancy. When my mom and a friend were visiting the first week after she was born, my mom said to her friend, "See how strong her feet are? That's from treading water in the womb for so long." She was quite serious.


----------



## JynxGirl

My DD (almost 4 at the time) was having a meltdown in a grocery store that we used to go to all the time. She has autism, and grocery stores are not her favorite places ever, but the store workers were used to her meltdowns and were awesome with helping me when I needed it regarding checking out or letting us have a moment or two when she lost her cool.

This woman in line behind us asked if there was anything she could do to help.

Me: If you could just take a few steps back, she prefers to have her space.

Woman: What's wrong with her? (backing up)

Me: Thanks. She's just upset because she's a bit overstimulated. She'll be okay in a few minutes.

Woman: Does she have that assburgers thing? (Really people, how hard is it to say Aspergers?)

Me: No, Alena has autism. It's a more severe form of Aspergers. (Note: I am not only trying to calm my kiddo down, but also trying to check out, so this woman is already getting on my nerves here.)

Woman: Oh, I'm so sorry. Don't you wish she just had cancer or something? At least cancer kids die.

I am not even kidding that my jaw hit the floor. I think I actually stood up from my daughter, which is just about the worst thing I could do for her. The clerk at the till and the people behind her all reacted about the same way. I swear you could hear a pin drop.

The woman never recanted or reacted in anyway. She honestly feels like this... I don't even remember what I said, but the cashier who knew my daughter and I really well checked us out super fast, and the last I saw of this woman, she was having a conversation with a very angry store manager.


----------



## Kelly1101

OMG.

I don't know how I would even respond if I heard someone say such a thing.


----------



## mommy212

Some older family member said something similar once, i don't remember who because I was really little the what she said stuck with me... But, My cousin has some sort of mental disorder- not sure what- but he is in some sort of institute and has been for as long as I can remember, at least since he was 6 or 7, and I remember one of them saying, "why couldn't he just be born with a physical handicap, then maybe no one would be having to pay for his care for the rest of his life" Like it was his fault, you know, he decided on day one that hey, i think I'd rather be handicapped for the rest of my life. Whatever he has, he basically has the mind of a 2 year old.


----------



## dairy2dogs

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AFWife*
> 
> You're supposed to cut up grapes? I guess I should know that...DS just bites them in half.










My soon to be teenager still asks me to cut her grapes in half! She says they taste better that way.


----------



## JynxGirl

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *mommy212*
> 
> Some older family member said something similar once, i don't remember who because I was really little the what she said stuck with me... But, My cousin has some sort of mental disorder- not sure what- but he is in some sort of institute and has been for as long as I can remember, at least since he was 6 or 7, and I remember one of them saying, "why couldn't he just be born with a physical handicap, then maybe no one would be having to pay for his care for the rest of his life" Like it was his fault, you know, he decided on day one that hey, i think I'd rather be handicapped for the rest of my life. Whatever he has, he basically has the mind of a 2 year old.


Well, yeah! Don't you know how awesome it is to be disabled and unable to care for yourself??

Seriously, some people are super ignorant...


----------



## lunarlady

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *JynxGirl*
> 
> Woman: Oh, I'm so sorry. Don't you wish she just had cancer or something? At least cancer kids die.










That by far takes the cake. As if you would rather bury your DD than deal with a meltdown in a grocery store. My god.


----------



## limabean

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *JynxGirl*
> 
> Woman: Does she have that assburgers thing? (Really people, how hard is it to say Aspergers?)


That woman was atrocious, and I'm so sorry she said such a hurtful thing to you. Regarding the above, though, I've seen people say this before on MDC, so I've been paying close attention to the way parents of children with Aspergers say the word, and I cannot tell a difference between the two. Are you supposed to make the /p/ really pronounced, or change the vowel sound of the /a/ or something?


----------



## erigeron

I told my mom that we'd had an ultrasound and the tech told us baby was one of the most active babies she'd ever seen. My mom's response was a cheery "Ritalin!" As if there aren't enough things wrong with this, let's note that my mom had me diagnosed and medicated for psychiatric illnesses as a child and has persisted to blame all of our family problems on me, instead of on several generations of dysfunction. Sorry, Mom, I'm not putting my kid on Ritalin just because she doesn't understand my irrational demands.


----------



## July09Mama

I never knew it until I was cutting them for my dd, but they actually DO taste better that way!


----------



## July09Mama

Grapes, cut, that is. Quote didn't work.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *JynxGirl*
> the last I saw of this woman, she was having a conversation with a very angry store manager.


That grocery store ROCKS! Do you know how rare it is for a store manager to tell off a customer?

(Also, as I have a 12 year old friend with cancer, I probably would've gotten myself arrested if I'd been on of the other customers watching that.)


----------



## yummus

OT - The person with the "CLEAN ALL THE THINGS!" avatar; it has always made me smile and conjure up a soft belly laugh.

Now someone on this thread posted about it and I don't have the time to go find your screen names but, God bless you. I just laughed like I have never laughed before and I feel light again. You are awesometimesforeverland.


----------



## uticagirl

The worst thing someone has ever said to me about parenting .. is that I dont raise my children white.(My children are half Puerto Rican and have white). This person thinks that I should not raise them with any of thier Puerto Rican Hertiage in their lives.. Thats very dumb to me.


----------



## ramlita

Glad to share, yummus!

And









to uticagirl- I just noticed this is your first post!

That IS baffling- why would anyone want to deny anyone their own heritage?


----------



## ramlita

oops, meant to share the link- I hadn't realized how many clicks it takes to get to the link under my pic:








http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/06/this-is-why-ill-never-be-adult.html









...I'm still bowled over by the "cancer kids" comment... reading that was like a punch in the stomach


----------



## LoveBabee

My aunt said, "What do you do for intellectual stimulation?" (regarding my job as "Stay at Home Mom")


----------



## dairy2dogs

[quote name="

Woman: Oh, I'm so sorry. Don't you wish she just had cancer or something? At least cancer kids die.

I am not even kidding that my jaw hit the floor. I think I actually stood up from my daughter, which is just about the worst thing I could do for her. The clerk at the till and the people behind her all reacted about the same way. I swear you could hear a pin drop.

The woman never recanted or reacted in anyway. She honestly feels like this... I don't even remember what I said, but the cashier who knew my daughter and I really well checked us out super fast, and the last I saw of this woman, she was having a conversation with a very angry store manager.

[/quote]

I'm so sorry that happened. I can't believe anyone would actually say that. I don't think I would have been able to maintain my composure.


----------



## treeoflife3

yeah, I have to say if someone told me 'don't you wish she had cancer? at least cancer kids die?' It would take all the energy I have not to shoot back 'no, but I wish you had cancer so that maybe you'd be dead instead of acting like a total b*tch right now.' it takes a lot to get me to say something so horrible but I don't mess around with wishing death on innocent children.

pretty sure it would take everything I have to not say that as a customer watching. I just can't even fathom.


----------



## hasya

I don't think she was being rude to you. I said the same thing to my husband about MY DD. That it'll be child abuse to use a hyphenated last name for DD; husband's last name is long enough. I was part joking of course, but his name already doesn't fit on forms. I have a middle name and the government cut the last 2 letters out because it wouldn't fit in their computer!!! She wasn't berating you for anything, nor telling you that you're ruining the baby's life.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MissMaegie'sMama*
> 
> I always see this thread in the ranks, but I've never had a good enough story to post here. Until now.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I have a hyphenated last name (my birth surname & my DH's surname). A couple weeks ago, I went to the polls to vote, and the elderly lady who volunteers at the polling place in my ward was trying to find my name among those of the other registered voters on her list. I jokingly told her, "Just look for the longest last name on the page." She found it and said, "That IS a long name. I hope you don't give your kids that name. You have to think of the little ones, you know." I couldn't believe it... she was giving me some rather meddlesome and rude advice on what I ought to not name my kids! I mean really- whether or not my kids have my name, my DH's name, or some combo of the two is NONE OF YOUR DANG BUSINESS, lady.


----------



## hasya

!!!!!!!!!! I've read several pages on this thread and this one takes the...not cake, that's too nice a word...flake??? Oh my! Did she expect that a mother would wish ill for her baby????

During pregnancy with DD, I went for the triple marker test and such, thinking, if something is out of usual, I'd like to be prepared. Good thing the probabilities came out much lower than would be expected for my age, because I'd just have worried. Next time, no such tests, thanks! I don't even think that I'll go for the NST at 12 w. 20 w is good. Doppler heart rate the rest of the time.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *dairy2dogs*
> 
> [quote name="
> 
> Woman: Oh, I'm so sorry. Don't you wish she just had cancer or something? At least cancer kids die.
> 
> I am not even kidding that my jaw hit the floor. I think I actually stood up from my daughter, which is just about the worst thing I could do for her. The clerk at the till and the people behind her all reacted about the same way. I swear you could hear a pin drop.
> 
> The woman never recanted or reacted in anyway. She honestly feels like this... I don't even remember what I said, but the cashier who knew my daughter and I really well checked us out super fast, and the last I saw of this woman, she was having a conversation with a very angry store manager.


I'm so sorry that happened. I can't believe anyone would actually say that. I don't think I would have been able to maintain my composure.[/QUOTE]


----------



## VocalMinority

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Litcrit*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *Jackies Ladybug*
> my daughter still doesnt have teeth yet at 13 months, MIL is VERY concerned that there is definitely something wrong with her. never mind that i didnt get teeth until 15 months, the same time my mom and grandma popped their first teeth. i guess nothing about my child could possibly resemble anything from MY side of the family!
> 
> When dh's cousin was a year old and still had no teeth, a nice ped asked the parents 'Have you ever seen a person who never grew any teeth?'
> 
> This calmed them.


In terms of BF, give me a baby with no teeth at 12mos., over my step-son, who was BORN with a few! Yikes!!


----------



## VocalMinority

My Mom implored me not to make or buy any dress-up clothes for my twin sons, when they were little. Evidently, playing dress-up (even with the likes of cowboy boots and medical scrubs) might "make them gay". Now, one of the twins did love those sparkly red shoes Target sells, that look like something out of the Wizard of Oz. But who wouldn't? I figured he'd probably grow out of that love, sometime before he went to high school. Or, if not, I clearly did not CREATE his interest in wearing such shoes, by buying them! Sheesh!


----------



## treeoflife3

My friend asked me the other day when I planned on weaning kiddo. I said that we were doing child led weaning so whenever she was ready to be done she'd be done. She said well just promise me you won't go past 6 years old!

Her reasoning was because she used to nanny for a boy a bit older than 6 who still nursed and whenever he misbehaved, he'd just run to his mom (she nannied while mom was working in a home office) and ask to nurse so he could get away with it and she'd always let him get away with it. I really don't get how she thinks it is the nursing older than six that made him think he could get away with doing whatever he wanted, rather than a mom who would excuse any behavior.

I was offended, both by her thinking I should promise HER which age to wean at as if she has any real say and by her apparently thinking my nursing still means I also let my kid get away with anything... which is silly because she has seen my child disciplined before and my child doesn't even nurse except to sleep anymore. Pretty sure nursing doesn't equal 'can do anything kid wants so long as they nurse right after they do it.' that is a parenting problem, not a nursing problem.


----------



## CM Byers

My daughter was complaining to her grandpa (my Dad) the other day that she wouldn't get to feed her little sister once she was born, and that she had to wait until I went back to work before she could give her a bottle (I'm going to try to EBF while out of work for 12 weeks, and pump and store for when I go back to work). My Dad told her "Oh I'm sure your Mommy will let you give her a bottle before then!" She told him - "Nuh-uh! Madeline will get milk from Mommy's boobies and I don't make milk because I'm not a Mommy. So I have to wait until Mommy goes back to work and she has bottles."

I thought my Dad was going to pass out or go into a rage... He turned to me all red-faced and asked if I really thought that was appropriate to talk about or do in front of my daughter. I asked him why in the world would it not be!?!?!?!? He said "well, you do whatever hippie thing you want, but it's healthier for the baby to have formula! You are going to make my granddaughter sickly!" I informed him that it was healthiest for the baby to have breastmilk (and of course he flinched when I said the word "breast"). And he asked where I got some ridiculous idea like that from, why would they manufacture formula in the first place. I replied with "Well, that ridiculous idea comes from every medical organization I can think of and every doctor, no matter how much of a flake, I have ever talked to agrees. And just because it's manufactured doesn't mean it's healthiest. People manufacture cigarettes, donuts, and cheeseburgers too." He just stared at me and said "Just as long as you go in another room to do it when I'm around and you don't do it in public - you'll get d*** arrested and be out of a job!"

Now the kicker to this is - my Dad used to be a police officer where we live. Myself and DH *BOTH* are police officers. Our state actually has a law protecting breast feeding in public. And we know this. And he SHOULD know this. I'm glad times are changing, but we still have so much further to go!!!


----------



## treeoflife3

yes, heaven forbid a little girl knows that someday she'll have breasts which are intended to produce milk to feed a baby with. We totally should be keeping that information from our children... along with not telling them that everyone poops... oh wait...


----------



## swd12422

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *treeoflife3*
> 
> yes, heaven forbid a little girl knows that someday she'll have breasts which are intended to produce milk to feed a baby with. We totally should be keeping that information from our children... along with not telling them that everyone poops... oh wait...


LOL! Exactly! Besides, DS was bottle-fed (so never really exposed to BFing, no pun intended) and yet is asking me WHY he has nipples. Why? What are they for? What do they do?? So yeah, it's terrible for a kid to know how babies get fed -- imagine how many more questions he'd have if he'd known the truth from the start!


----------



## ZakareyasMama

1. I was weak after childbirth. (And not for just a few hours, but for weeks!)

2. If I ate certain fruits, yogurt, or anything cold, my baby would catch a cold.

3. If I showered too much in the first month, my baby would get sick and I may have trouble getting pregnant again.

4. If I ate beans, peas, certain veggies, or nuts my baby would get gas.

5. If I didn't drink cow milk, I wouldn't make enough milk for my baby.

6. I was holding my baby wrong.

7. I was holding my baby too much.

8. My 2 week old baby was getting spoiled.

9. All babies cry to have their diaper changed.

10. I'm inexperienced and don't know what I'm doing.


----------



## Amatullah0

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *ZakareyasMama*
> 
> 9. All babies cry to have their diaper changed.


hmmmm..... so EC babies don't cry? Cool!


----------



## TNmommyBFB

Father (while I'm nursing DS) : So how old do you plan to keep feeding him til?










I really should have said 'Til he is 20 or can buy his own food.'


----------



## Honey693

I have a friend who knew I nursed my first until she was 17 months. She came to visit when my second baby was 2 months old. She looked at me and asked "so what formula are you going to switch her too?" I asked her why I'd switch to formula if breastfeeding was going fine and I had nursed my first kid until 17 months and she said that's just what you do. *insert headsmack*. DH went off on her. I felt kind of bad, but it was hilarious to hear my husband lecturing her on the benefits of breastfeeding and evils (his words, not mine) of formula for a mom who is perfectly capable of breastfeeding.


----------



## rebecca_n

My ds is 2.5 yrs old and needs to burse to calm down, but after he is calmed down we do discipline/talk about why he was in trouble. i ddont think its always a parenting problem, some kids just work themselves up too much to listen and need some help calming down



Quote:


> Originally Posted by *treeoflife3*
> 
> My friend asked me the other day when I planned on weaning kiddo. I said that we were doing child led weaning so whenever she was ready to be done she'd be done. She said well just promise me you won't go past 6 years old!
> 
> Her reasoning was because she used to nanny for a boy a bit older than 6 who still nursed and whenever he misbehaved, he'd just run to his mom (she nannied while mom was working in a home office) and ask to nurse so he could get away with it and she'd always let him get away with it. I really don't get how she thinks it is the nursing older than six that made him think he could get away with doing whatever he wanted, rather than a mom who would excuse any behavior.
> 
> I was offended, both by her thinking I should promise HER which age to wean at as if she has any real say and by her apparently thinking my nursing still means I also let my kid get away with anything... which is silly because she has seen my child disciplined before and my child doesn't even nurse except to sleep anymore. Pretty sure nursing doesn't equal 'can do anything kid wants so long as they nurse right after they do it.' that is a parenting problem, not a nursing problem.


----------



## littlehoneybee

I was telling a woman I hardly know that my children are horrible sleepers (thus why I'm tired all the time) and she informed me that after having five children she could tell me whithout a doubt that 80% of all "problems" our children display are a result of bad parenting.


----------



## Kelly1101

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *littlehoneybee*
> 
> I was telling a woman I hardly know that my children are horrible sleepers (thus why I'm tired all the time) and she informed me that after having five children she could tell me whithout a doubt that 80% of all "problems" our children display are a result of bad parenting.


Me: "wow, your five kids must have had a lot of problems!"


----------



## granny-mary

After having 3 lovely daughters (twins and then 2 years later another daughter) I was expecting our fourth child....

Q: Person (family/friend/stranger/nosy neighbour) : "So you're trying again for a boy?"

A; Usual response; "While a boy would be a nice change in scenery we are actually 'trying' to have a fourth child". "We don't care if we have all girls. We quite like the ones we have and why quit when you got a good thing going?"

Internal response; "No, actually we're trying for a Saint Bernard Puppy, you freakin' idiot."

Q. Person; "So what will you do if you have another girl?"

WHAT A RIDICULOUS THING TO SAY!!!! What do you THINK I'll do? Send her up the river in a basket? Feed her to the crows? Dress her in boy-clothes and name her 'Manly' ?

A.Usual response; (Said with thinnly veiled sarcasm) "I guess we'll just give up all hope.". Sheesh.

And of course; the classic "Oh, you must have your hands full! "

To which I tried always to respond; "Yes, but it's the best thing I can think of having my hands full OF."

And...the insensitive air-heads who; when I said I was expecting twins or the next one or the next one; would say, "I'm glad it's you and not me!"

And more often than not I would smile and say, "So am I."


----------



## vermontgirl

If that is the worst thing anyone has ever said to you about parenting, you are doing pretty good.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AFWife*
> 
> From this weekend:
> 
> I was saying that I can't have milk and this guy (we'll call him D) says, "You know that none of that gets passed through your breastmilk, right?" I just stared and said, "He gets a rash when I have milk." and he looked surprised.
> 
> He also told me that if I fed him solids he'd get teeth sooner (we're 8 months with no teeth)


----------



## treeoflife3

oh, it wasn't that she'd nurse her kid to calm down (which I see no problems with either) it is that she'd let him nurse RATHER than getting disciplined. Like, he'd throw food at my friend and immediately run up to his mom and she'd be all 'oh that's okay she'll clean it up sure you can nurse!' She was under the impression that he only nursed to get out of trouble and therefore anyone who 'lets' their kid nurse that long must be letting them do whatever they want or something.

The parenting problem is that mom would let him do whatever he wanted but she blamed it on the nursing since he'd always ask to nurse to avoid discipline. As long as he asked, she'd just be all 'oh well...'

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *rebecca_n*
> 
> My ds is 2.5 yrs old and needs to burse to calm down, but after he is calmed down we do discipline/talk about why he was in trouble. i ddont think its always a parenting problem, some kids just work themselves up too much to listen and need some help calming down


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *granny-mary*
> 
> After having 3 lovely daughters (twins and then 2 years later another daughter) I was expecting our fourth child....
> 
> Q: Person (family/friend/stranger/nosy neighbour) : "So you're trying again for a boy?"


A: Trying for a boy? You mean we might have a boy? Oh dear oh dear....well, I guess if we have a baby we'll keep it boy or girl. Seeing as how this was a planned pregnancy and all.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *treeoflife3*
> 
> oh, it wasn't that she'd nurse her kid to calm down (which I see no problems with either) it is that she'd let him nurse RATHER than getting disciplined. Like, he'd throw food at my friend and immediately run up to his mom and she'd be all 'oh that's okay she'll clean it up sure you can nurse!' She was under the impression that he only nursed to get out of trouble and therefore anyone who 'lets' their kid nurse that long must be letting them do whatever they want or something.
> 
> The parenting problem is that mom would let him do whatever he wanted but she blamed it on the nursing since he'd always ask to nurse to avoid discipline. As long as he asked, she'd just be all 'oh well...'


W.o.w. The really sad thing about blaming it on the nursing is that she probably stuck with the job instead of quitting and giving the mom a clue that she was screwing up her son.


----------



## Greenlea

My sister, who has a one week old baby and is trying to nurse, told me she was going to switch to formula because the baby was eating too much. I kindly informed her that formula or breastmilk, a one week old baby is still going to be eating "too much".


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Greenlea*
> 
> My sister, who has a one week old baby and is trying to nurse, told me she was going to switch to formula because the baby was eating too much. I kindly informed her that formula or breastmilk, a one week old baby is still going to be eating "too much".


I don't get the thought process behind that. "My baby is eating lots and lots of milk, so I'm going to start paying for the milk."


----------



## swd12422

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan*
> 
> I don't get the thought process behind that. "My baby is eating lots and lots of milk, so I'm going to start paying for the milk."


I don't get it, either. I know that BFing on demand must be exhausting (we bottle-fed, so I'm just guessing), but bottle feeding constantly isn't exactly a walk in the park. And at times it seemed like it was harder, b/c you have to mix it up and pour and warm etc. while the baby is screaming, rather than just rolling over and lifting your shirt. I was jealous of cosleeping, BFing moms b/c they seemed to be getting LOTS more sleep than I was!


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *swd12422*
> 
> I don't get it, either. I know that BFing on demand must be exhausting (we bottle-fed, so I'm just guessing), but bottle feeding constantly isn't exactly a walk in the park. And at times it seemed like it was harder, b/c you have to mix it up and pour and warm etc. while the baby is screaming, rather than just rolling over and lifting your shirt. I was jealous of cosleeping, BFing moms b/c they seemed to be getting LOTS more sleep than I was!


BFing on demand is only exhausting if you have to get up to do it every time because you fell for the nonsense about not bed sharing =D Or if you don't eat enough for yourself.

Oh! But that reminds me, Greenlea, if this happened recently and your friend still has a newborn, point out that breastfeeding gets easier at the 6week mark like 99% of the time and she shouldn't make any decisions about how difficult it is until that point.


----------



## Greenlea

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan*
> 
> BFing on demand is only exhausting if you have to get up to do it every time because you fell for the nonsense about not bed sharing =D Or if you don't eat enough for yourself.
> 
> Oh! But that reminds me, Greenlea, if this happened recently and your friend still has a newborn, point out that breastfeeding gets easier at the 6week mark like 99% of the time and she shouldn't make any decisions about how difficult it is until that point.


Oh yes, its recent. The baby is literally a week old. Twice that I saw her this week with my mom, we kept telling her "your baby is hungry" as the baby's crying and crying. She kept tellig me "the baby just ate!" I know she's new at this and I'm trying to give her advice but she's acting like I don't know what I'm talking about.


----------



## treeoflife3

It's always so strange to me how surprised people are by a newborn's need to eat constantly. I guess the fact that their tummies are TINY and can't stretch isn't shared well enough with new moms. It should be though... maybe it wouldn't be so difficult on new moms if they already know going in that they'll probably need to feed baby as often as they sleep hehe


----------



## Miss Chris

When my first was a newborn I had been told by pediatricians and books and other moms that newborns eat every 2-3 hours, so that was what I believed. When my daughter ate and fell asleep and woke up 45 minutes later crying I would also say "she just ate" because I had bad information about how often she would get hungry. Now that is one of the first things I tell my friends who are pregnant for the first time. I always say, newborn babies nurse ALL THE TIME. I tell them that they will feel like all they ever do is nurse because a new baby might take 45 minutes to get full and then sleep for half an hour and then wake up hungry again. If I had been better informed I would have been better prepared and less frustrated and confused when my baby was crying and I didn't know how to comfort her. Breastfeeding is kind of a lost art in a lot of communities and we need to help spread good information and help each other. (*off soap box*)


----------



## AFWife

I had MIL tell me that I needed to start my son on rice cereal ASAP (she started each of her boys at 8 weeks....HER mother had her first child eating solids (like, fruits and veggies) at 8 weeks) Apparently when they nurse all the time it's because the milk isn't enough and they need something to "stick to their ribs" and really fill them up. She told us this each time she called for MONTHS. (especially at 4 months...the marker the ped told us we could start solids if we wanted) Finally DH told her we were doing BLW and that I didn't mind nursing all the time and we'd done the research...she stopped mention ing it...until DS1 was 7 months and still didn't care about solids.


----------



## crunchy_mommy

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Miss Chris*
> 
> When my first was a newborn I had been told by pediatricians and books and other moms that newborns eat every 2-3 hours, so that was what I believed. When my daughter ate and fell asleep and woke up 45 minutes later crying I would also say "she just ate" because I had bad information about how often she would get hungry. Now that is one of the first things I tell my friends who are pregnant for the first time. I always say, newborn babies nurse ALL THE TIME. I tell them that they will feel like all they ever do is nurse because a new baby might take 45 minutes to get full and then sleep for half an hour and then wake up hungry again. If I had been better informed I would have been better prepared and less frustrated and confused when my baby was crying and I didn't know how to comfort her. Breastfeeding is kind of a lost art in a lot of communities and we need to help spread good information and help each other. (*off soap box*)


This is so true. I thought I was all prepared for nursing and I attended a BF'ing class and read up & everything. The problem is, they all said that babies needed to nurse every 2-3 hours. I even heard & expected some babies might need to nurse every 1-2 hours. I never expected mine would need to nurse every 5-10 minutes (from end to beginning of next session). I had no idea I would spend an entire year basically just sitting in a chair nursing, all day & all night. I know my DS was extreme but I know there a lots of other BF babies that share a similarly frequent need to nurse (especially in the early weeks) and I don't think this is even remotely adequately communicated to most expectant moms.


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *crunchy_mommy*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *Miss Chris*
> 
> When my first was a newborn I had been told by pediatricians and books and other moms that newborns eat every 2-3 hours, so that was what I believed. When my daughter ate and fell asleep and woke up 45 minutes later crying I would also say "she just ate" because I had bad information about how often she would get hungry. Now that is one of the first things I tell my friends who are pregnant for the first time. I always say, newborn babies nurse ALL THE TIME. I tell them that they will feel like all they ever do is nurse because a new baby might take 45 minutes to get full and then sleep for half an hour and then wake up hungry again. If I had been better informed I would have been better prepared and less frustrated and confused when my baby was crying and I didn't know how to comfort her. Breastfeeding is kind of a lost art in a lot of communities and we need to help spread good information and help each other. (*off soap box*)
> 
> 
> 
> This is so true. I thought I was all prepared for nursing and I attended a BF'ing class and read up & everything. The problem is, they all said that babies needed to nurse every 2-3 hours. I even heard & expected some babies might need to nurse every 1-2 hours. I never expected mine would need to nurse every 5-10 minutes (from end to beginning of next session). I had no idea I would spend an entire year basically just sitting in a chair nursing, all day & all night. I know my DS was extreme but I know there a lots of other BF babies that share a similarly frequent need to nurse (especially in the early weeks) and I don't think this is even remotely adequately communicated to most expectant moms.
Click to expand...

DS1 would nurse for 20mins (seriously nurse the whole time), sleep for an hour and wake up to nurse again...oh yeah, and he wouldn't sleep anywhere but my arms. He did this at night too. He never slept more than 2 hours until he was at least 8 months old. It was terrible. I had PPD so bad. And I got all sorts of bad advice (that I didn't follow)


----------



## Honey693

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AFWife*
> 
> I had MIL tell me that I needed to start my son on rice cereal ASAP (she started each of her boys at 8 weeks....HER mother had her first child eating solids (like, fruits and veggies) at 8 weeks) Apparently when they nurse all the time it's because the milk isn't enough and they need something to "stick to their ribs" and really fill them up. She told us this each time she called for MONTHS. (especially at 4 months...the marker the ped told us we could start solids if we wanted) Finally DH told her we were doing BLW and that I didn't mind nursing all the time and we'd done the research...she stopped mention ing it...until DS1 was 7 months and still didn't care about solids.


I hear this allll the time and I don't get it at all. Breast milk has fat and protein and all kinds of awesomey goodness. Fruit has no fat, protein, etc. How is that going to stick to your ribs???


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Honey693*
> 
> I hear this allll the time and I don't get it at all. Breast milk has fat and protein and all kinds of awesomey goodness. Fruit has no fat, protein, etc. How is that going to stick to your ribs???


Well, originally she was talking about the super-filling rice cereal. You know, the stuff with zero nutritional value that's just used to sit in baby's tummy? Yeah. She also told me if i ever wanted to sleep I'd feed him rice cereal. Whatever, he's 2 and he still has nights when he doesn't sleep! My 4mo, on the other hand, sleeps no problem. (And he's just on BM too)


----------



## LouiseAlma

My dad told me that not circumcising my sons is child abuse. I laughed haha


----------



## philomom

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *LouiseAlma*
> 
> My dad told me that not circumcising my sons is child abuse. I laughed haha


Gosh, you are kind.... because I would have said right quick that its the cutting that's the child abuse in my mind!


----------



## Snowflake777

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *LouiseAlma*
> 
> My dad told me that not circumcising my sons is child abuse. I laughed haha


Well I guess every boy-parent in my country is a child abuser! I'm not sure you could even find a surgeon who'd agree to do it without medical cause.


----------



## treeoflife3

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *LouiseAlma*
> 
> My dad told me that not circumcising my sons is child abuse. I laughed haha


good thing I had a girl... not circumcising her means I'm not abusive!


----------



## happymommy1

Why don't you just wean him, a coworker said about my baby who has gluten, milk, and soy issues and excema and had issues with vaccines and vomits with every formula we have tried. Stupid woman! I said he is better off with my milk and then she asked what we would do when he is 1 and I said huh? She said you know will he have milk? I said no he will have mommy milk then when he wants it we can try coconut or rice milk that is fortified just like my other child w allergies does.


----------



## happymommy1

same her efor my son. My daughters were over mommy milk by six mo except at night. Go figure.


----------



## happymommy1

oops was referring above to my son teethign and biting me, now he just scratches whenthe teeth are uneven every once in a while.


----------



## member234098

.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *miriam*
> 
> The worse/dumbest thing anyone has ever said to me about parenting is that if what I was doing was worth anything, I would be paid.
> 
> That is the truth.


Y'know, what I like about these threads is trying to come up with comebacks to idiotic remarks. All I've got as a response for that one is "you aren't paid to breathe, please feel free to stop anytime."


----------



## 4myfinn

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Greenlea*
> 
> Oh yes, its recent. The baby is literally a week old. Twice that I saw her this week with my mom, we kept telling her "your baby is hungry" as the baby's crying and crying. She kept tellig me "the baby just ate!" I know she's new at this and I'm trying to give her advice but she's acting like I don't know what I'm talking about.


I'm having the same problem with my friend. Her poor baby always seems hungry, but she refuses to nurse if it hasn't been at least 2 hours. It breaks my heart.


----------



## LadybugMamma

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *minkajane*
> 
> My coworker told me today that she knew a woman who's baby was born at 7 1/2 months because she used a heating pad when she was pregnant and it dried up all her amniotic fluid.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> She also said that she was screamed at once by a Sears employee who found out that she used a heating pad on her back in pregnancy and that's when she found out that it would dry up your amniotic fluid. Even if that were true, who does the Sears person think she is, screaming at some random person for using a heating pad ONCE for a backache? My coworker seemed to think it was ok, since it was oh so dangerous, that it's justified to yell at a stranger about it.
> 
> I asked her if the blood dried up in her arm when she used a heating pad on it. She rolled her eyes and said it's not the same thing.


I used a heating pad all.the.time in the last couple months, i can tell you, when my water broke in the living room, (at full term) I was no where near dried up.


----------



## Mama_2_Boy

When my mother found out that I planned on co-sleeping with the baby and she told me that she was really concerned, because she didn't think I would be able to handle the loss...you know from killing my baby while sleeping with her...


----------



## mommy212

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan*
> 
> Y'know, what I like about these threads is trying to come up with comebacks to idiotic remarks. All I've got as a response for that one is "you aren't paid to breathe, please feel free to stop anytime."


hahahahahahha


----------



## CM Byers

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *littlehoneybee*
> 
> I was telling a woman I hardly know that my children are horrible sleepers (thus why I'm tired all the time) and she informed me that after having five children she could tell me whithout a doubt that 80% of all "problems" our children display are a result of bad parenting.


You have got to be kidding me. What kind of woman/parent says this to another woman? My daughter has went through phases of being an awesome sleeper - to begin a terrible sleeper. And my parenting sure hasn't changed. So I wonder what a know-it-all, judgemental, woman like that would reason causes that? Now if I saw someone smacking their kids around, or belittling them, etc... I would possibly accuse them of bad parenting. But otherwise... let's treat mama's with a little bit of compassion and respect!


----------



## Catubodua

my son is 15 months old and in I AM THE DESTROYER mode with toys, books, etc. my MIL gives us tons of books (which is awesome) but i was telling her how rough he is on things right now, and she said to simply "not let him do that." um, yeah, like i have complete control of his motor functions and his completely normal need to throw and slam things.

when i said, it's hard to show him a book and not expect him to want to hold it and play with it, which may involve him tearing a page or injuring the spine, she looked completely mistified and said, well, i guess then he can't have it.

i was telling my hubby later and he rolled his eyes and said "i broke everything i owned up until i was about 12, so i don't know where the heck that's coming from"


----------



## mommy212

My sister-in-law and I were talking one christmas about breastfeeding, etc, (she quit at around 5 or 6 weeks because she had an inverted nipple and was out of patience) and she told me about a friend who started feeding her baby chocolate milk at 4 months. Yes, you read correctly, regular nesquik or whatever in cow's milk at 4 months. I said something like "wow, that's terrible, what the heck was she thinking?" And SIL said "I know, right, I think you're supposed to stop feeding them formula when you start giving them milk!" I was floored... If it wasn't for her mom I'm not sure her baby would have made it lol. I wanted to say "its a damn good thing she didn't or that baby might be dead by now..." But I didn't because she can really get upset over things and at was christmas.


----------



## Ginger Bean

Not really dumb -- just conventional wisdom of another generation -- but in the early days after my son was born my MIL kept saying over and over that breastmilk was "so thin" and that you "never know how much they're getting."

To me, that sounds so weird -- like you're filling up a gas tank or something. I mean, I never know to the ounce how much I'm eating either.

Not sure what she was trying to do... get me to use formula or just making conversation. Anyway, after I told her kind of pointedly that my son had doubled his birth weight on one breast alone (I'm a breast cancer survivor), she stopped saying it.


----------



## minkajane

I was just walking out to the mailbox with DD in the sling and my neighbor warned me to watch out for the wind or she'd get colic. That's one I haven't heard before...


----------



## Ellen Griswold

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *minkajane*
> 
> I was just walking out to the mailbox with DD in the sling and my neighbor warned me to watch out for the wind or she'd get colic. That's one I haven't heard before...


Do you think that she meant she'd gulp the air if the wind blew in her face and get a tummy ache? Granted, that's a far cry from colic but sometimes people use that for a catch-all phrase. I wouldn't have thought much of it until I had my third baby who gasps for air and then drinks it if she is in the slightest draft.


----------



## hasya

I cannot believe how dumb some people are!

I once saw a woman giving her ~3 year old iced tea. This was before I became a mother or was even pregnant, so I wasn't sure if it was what people did, but I sure thought it was wrong.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *mommy212*
> 
> My sister-in-law and I were talking one christmas about breastfeeding, etc, (she quit at around 5 or 6 weeks because she had an inverted nipple and was out of patience) and she told me about a friend who started feeding her baby chocolate milk at 4 months. Yes, you read correctly, regular nesquik or whatever in cow's milk at 4 months. I said something like "wow, that's terrible, what the heck was she thinking?" And SIL said "I know, right, I think you're supposed to stop feeding them formula when you start giving them milk!" I was floored... If it wasn't for her mom I'm not sure her baby would have made it lol. I wanted to say "its a damn good thing she didn't or that baby might be dead by now..." But I didn't because she can really get upset over things and at was christmas.


----------



## FiveLittleMonkeys

Oh, Lord.....my almost 2 year old is constantly trying to sneak drinks of my iced tea. He LOVES it - the sweeter, the better as far as he's concerned! But I certainly don't give it to him voluntarily!


----------



## LiLStar

Hehehe my almost 2 year old loves Choffy (its made from cocoa beans instead of coffee beans, but is otherwise made the same way. less caffeine than a cup of hot chocolate) and its sooo hilarious to hear him say "More 'offy" because a casual observer would think he's asking for coffee


----------



## crunchy_mommy

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *LiLStar*
> 
> Hehehe my almost 2 year old loves Choffy (its made from cocoa beans instead of coffee beans, but is otherwise made the same way. less caffeine than a cup of hot chocolate) and its sooo hilarious to hear him say "More 'offy" because a casual observer would think he's asking for coffee


My 2yo DS LOVES LOVES LOVES coffee... obviously we don't let him drink it but he is constantly asking anyway and he always wants "finger tastes" (dip a finger in the coffee to taste)... He also drinks cold or hot tea (but herbal, and no sugar)... I know he would love Choffy because he loves chocolate... I'll have to look into that.


----------



## Ellen Griswold

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *crunchy_mommy*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *LiLStar*
> 
> Hehehe my almost 2 year old loves Choffy (its made from cocoa beans instead of coffee beans, but is otherwise made the same way. less caffeine than a cup of hot chocolate) and its sooo hilarious to hear him say "More 'offy" because a casual observer would think he's asking for coffee
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> My 2yo DS LOVES LOVES LOVES coffee... obviously we don't let him drink it but he is constantly asking anyway and he always wants "finger tastes" (dip a finger in the coffee to taste)... He also drinks cold or hot tea (but herbal, and no sugar)... I know he would love Choffy because he loves chocolate... I'll have to look into that.
Click to expand...

Dd is nearly 4 and around Christmas time discovered my peppermint latte from Starbucks. I let her have a sip, thinking that she wouldn't like it and then she would stop asking for some...and then she drank almost the whole thing before I could get it away from her. I can hardly drive by a Starbucks without her talking wistfully about her yummy coffee drink.


----------



## Kelly1101

Definitely a generational thing, I think... and I've come across stuff like that before, I just try to be informative about it-- tell them that you "measure" how much milk by weight gain and wet/poop diapers to tell if they are getting enough, that if you feed on demand the baby will just eat enough to be full and can gauge their own hunger, and explain foremilk/hindmilk, etc. I've actually ended up having really good conversations about it with people of older generations (when formula was just "how it's done") who simply don't know about breastfeeding. My grandma is now all about it and thinks it's great that I nurse my babies.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Ginger Bean*
> 
> Not really dumb -- just conventional wisdom of another generation -- but in the early days after my son was born my MIL kept saying over and over that breastmilk was "so thin" and that you "never know how much they're getting."
> 
> To me, that sounds so weird -- like you're filling up a gas tank or something. I mean, I never know to the ounce how much I'm eating either.
> 
> Not sure what she was trying to do... get me to use formula or just making conversation. Anyway, after I told her kind of pointedly that my son had doubled his birth weight on one breast alone (I'm a breast cancer survivor), she stopped saying it.


----------



## Greenlea

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *hasya*
> 
> I cannot believe how dumb some people are!
> 
> I once saw a woman giving her ~3 year old iced tea. This was before I became a mother or was even pregnant, so I wasn't sure if it was what people did, but I sure thought it was wrong.


Whats wrong with a child drinking iced tea? Especially a 3 yr old? My 2 yr old drinks tea sometimes - we brew it ourselves from teabags and use noncaffeinated for him. Maybe the caffeine would be the problem, but other than that I don't see the problem.


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Greenlea*
> 
> Whats wrong with a child drinking iced tea? Especially a 3 yr old? My 2 yr old drinks tea sometimes - we brew it ourselves from teabags and use noncaffeinated for him. Maybe the caffeine would be the problem, but other than that I don't see the problem.


I assumed it was caffeine and possibly refined sugar...I know that *I* can't drink a lot of tea out and about for those reasons.


----------



## yongestoneof2

during my first pregnancy i was told by this random chick the worst parenting advice ever!!! she had told me the secret to having a baby that doesent cry alot. She said to smoke as much pot as i could, that she and ppl she knew did and there baby barley ever cried not even when it was born and as a toddler it is very calm.!! can you belive it. There is nothing more abnormal then a non crying newborn!!!! ppl these days


----------



## aurora_skys

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *yongestoneof2*
> 
> during my first pregnancy i was told by this random chick the worst parenting advice ever!!! she had told me the secret to having a baby that doesent cry alot. She said to smoke as much pot as i could, that she and ppl she knew did and there baby barley ever cried not even when it was born and as a toddler it is very calm.!! can you belive it. There is nothing more abnormal then a non crying newborn!!!! ppl these days


well better weed than the cigarettes my neighbor told me to smoke while pregnant. It was her "secret" to having a small baby (as tho that were somehow desireable!)


----------



## limabean

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *hasya*
> 
> I cannot believe how dumb some people are!
> 
> I once saw a woman giving her ~3 year old iced tea. This was before I became a mother or was even pregnant, so I wasn't sure if it was what people did, but I sure thought it was wrong.


Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AFWife*
> 
> I assumed it was caffeine and possibly refined sugar...I know that *I* can't drink a lot of tea out and about for those reasons.


I guess I can see it being in the "iffy" category for some people, but I certainly don't think it belongs in the same realm as giving a 4-month-old chocolate cow's milk (which is what the poster was responding to -- maybe she meant to say that a 3-month-old was drinking iced tea?), or in the "worst/dumbest" thread.


----------



## yongestoneof2

oh my gosh! the nerv of some ppl i cant stand how ppl get so selfish


----------



## Greenlea

My BIL said that you should stop breastfeeding when the child can ask for it. I told him that just cuz he could ask for chicken doesn't mean he should stop eating it. "Well, its not breastmilk" he said. I don't even do extended BF yet (my son is 6mths) so I have a feeling this issue is going to come up with him again in the future.


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Greenlea*
> 
> My BIL said that you should stop breastfeeding when the child can ask for it. I told him that just cuz he could ask for chicken doesn't mean he should stop eating it. "Well, its not breastmilk" he said. I don't even do extended BF yet (my son is 6mths) so I have a feeling this issue is going to come up with him again in the future.


I got this with FIL...we replied, "So, if the baby signing takes off and he can ask for it at 9mo....?" "Then it's time to stop."


----------



## pranava

OK, I'm steaming mad and I need to vent







This is from just 15 minutes ago - According to my Dad, my son has delayed gross and fine motor skills because he doesn't have a man around to rough house him. (DS has two moms) GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That logic is so faulty, I don't even know where to begin. Maybe I should toss my 2 year old DS around, wrestle him to the ground, give him a good noogie because I'm sure THAT would fix EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to break my keyboard typing this I'm so mad.


----------



## lunarlady

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *pranava*
> 
> OK, I'm steaming mad and I need to vent
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> This is from just 15 minutes ago - According to my Dad, my son has delayed gross and fine motor skills because he doesn't have a man around to rough house him. (DS has two moms) GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That logic is so faulty, I don't even know where to begin. Maybe I should toss my 2 year old DS around, wrestle him to the ground, give him a good noogie because I'm sure THAT would fix EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to break my keyboard typing this I'm so mad.


That is so faulty man logic. As if hitting, wrestling, and making fart sounds are the key to higher physical performance. If that is the case, every middle school boy on earth would be ready to play in the NFL or NBA. Besides, since when is respecting personal space, being gentle, and playing quietly bad things for children of either sex? And are women incapable of rough housing? I roll around on the ground with my kids all the time. I wonder what other issues he will attribute to the "lack of a man in the house" as your kid gets older?


----------



## sapphire_chan

Everything from potty training after age 2 to the common cold, I'd bet. And if pranava's ds gets in a scuffle at age 3, that'll be blamed on not having a man around either.


----------



## crunchy_mommy

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *pranava*
> 
> OK, I'm steaming mad and I need to vent
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> This is from just 15 minutes ago - According to my Dad, my son has delayed gross and fine motor skills because he doesn't have a man around to rough house him. (DS has two moms) GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That logic is so faulty, I don't even know where to begin. Maybe I should toss my 2 year old DS around, wrestle him to the ground, give him a good noogie because I'm sure THAT would fix EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to break my keyboard typing this I'm so mad.


Wow. What kind of logic is that???

Ironically -- I'm totally the one who roughhouses with DS, and DH is the quiet calm one...


----------



## hasya

Thanks, Limabean! Yes, the dumbness comment was for the cow's CHOCOLATE milk at 4 months. I know that cow's milk used to be considered the next best thing after mother's/wet nurse's milk several decades ago. I wasn't even shocked about the milk. The chocolate, gosh, and all the additives in Nesquik? Even I don't drink it ever since I found out how bad this additives industry is. It is full of fillers too.

Tea...as someone asked, what's wrong with it, indeed. Except, unlike you, she didn't home brew it. It was one of those Nestea things. Give the child HFCS and then scold the kid when the crash comes and the kid gets cranky! I wouldn't give my 3 year old tea, but that could be the way I was raised (not judging anyone, we weren't allowed to drink tea or coffee until... don't remember what age, but surely more than 3 if I specifically remember it... more like 10 or 12). Sneaking tastes, ah, we've done that and who can blame the kid for trying to sneak the "good stuff", lol! I know I sneaked in tastes. I am not a tea or coffee drinker, though. Perhaps once in 1 or 2 or 3 months... Coffee... make that years, lol!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *limabean*
> 
> I guess I can see it being in the "iffy" category for some people, but I certainly don't think it belongs in the same realm as giving a 4-month-old chocolate cow's milk (which is what the poster was responding to -- maybe she meant to say that a 3-month-old was drinking iced tea?), or in the "worst/dumbest" thread.


----------



## SilverFish

i'm sure anyone who saw me walking downtown last week with my one year old is busy reporting me to this thread right now! i was getting dirty looks from old ladies as it was. i bought myself a piece of lemon bread and an iced tea from starbucks, neglecting to think about how i would consume them with a toddler strapped to my front in the carrier, and also maybe 10 minutes before realizing that we really should have started heading home for nap time already. rather than have a massive melt-down from a cranky toddler on the metro, i let her have sips from my tea (well, "hold" the straw in her mouth as she can't drink from a long straw yet) and 'gasp' have bites of my treat. sure, it had some processed sugar in it, but it was hardly a "dumbest" parenting move.


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *SilverFish*
> 
> i'm sure anyone who saw me walking downtown last week with my one year old is busy reporting me to this thread right now! i was getting dirty looks from old ladies as it was. i bought myself a piece of lemon bread and an iced tea from starbucks, neglecting to think about how i would consume them with a toddler strapped to my front in the carrier, and also maybe 10 minutes before realizing that we really should have started heading home for nap time already. rather than have a massive melt-down from a cranky toddler on the metro, i let her have sips from my tea (well, "hold" the straw in her mouth as she can't drink from a long straw yet) and 'gasp' have bites of my treat. sure, it had some processed sugar in it, but it was hardly a "dumbest" parenting move.


Been there. We've given DS sips of soda when out just to avoid a screaming meltdown.


----------



## Amatullah0

We give DS anything we are eating(if he wants it). We don't eat or drink anything around him that he wouldn't be allowed to have. We don't even keep the kind of stuff in our house that DS wouldn't be allowed to have, but if we do buy something remotely unhealthy, it is consumed once in a blue moon. DS has been drinking tea(with milk and raw sugar) since maybe 8 months. We might drink soda two times a month at most (and DS will get a few sips too). And, IF he has a meltdown, I never blame him for it, and we handle it.

I think we're awesome parents, if I do say so myself.


----------



## treeoflife3

yeah, I don't think giving kids some less than 100% nutritionally dense and whole foods isn't the dumbest parenting thing... my kiddo has had tastes of not just tea.. SWEET tea! she has even tasted soda (although I made her wait til recently.) She's had treats from places like starbucks too. Sure, I'd rather she not have the additives and sugars and hfcs and junk in this stuff but having tastes ultimately won't kill her and I don't just want to eat 100% perfect nutritionally dense whole foods and she expects me to share. it happens.

although chocolate nesquick at 4 months seems pretty dumb.


----------



## ArtsyHeartsy

Well, I have tons of these but some of the funniest are from my Mother in law and her peers. They constantly nag me to cover my baby so she doesn't get sick. What's annoying about that is that my MIL has no problem bringing her other snotty nosed feverish grandchildren to my house, or near my baby...uhm, no THAT will make her sick!!!

One aunt also told me not to let my baby look in the mirror because it will stunt her growth! My mil asked me when my baby will get real milk. I just said, "she gets real milk, from me!" Then she apologized. hehe She's actually good about listening to me, but I have to watch her. She tried to give my 9mo a strawberry (which dd1 had a really bad reaction to before she was 2) but she didn't push, she just stopped. If I was her daughter she would have given to her anyway. haha They also asked me all the time when I was going to pierce my DD1's ears, I always told them we were going to do her nose first to match mommy, and that shut them up!

Today someone with a younger baby was telling me how small my baby is tiny (and she is only in the 5th percentile) and asked me if I drank coffee when I was pregnant! lol! My parents told me coffee would stunt my growth (tongue in cheek of course) so I drank as much as I could when I was younger...I wonder how tall I would have been without it because I am almost 6' now!

On the food front....I have a nephew who is cared for most often by his grandma, when she found out he had 4 cavities at 4 she said he "eats candy all day long!" Uh...in your care...too bad you can't stop him! Now he eats fruit snacks all day long...which his mom also said, "I can't buy the big boxes because he has to have at least 2 packs I can't stop him from eating them!" Uhm, ok...and hellooo, still candy.

This is not advice either but I recently saw a probably 18mo old on a leash thing...you know what I mean, and the parents were sitting next to him on the ground and letting him chugg their mountain dew. Kind of defeats the purpose of the leash, right? haha!!!


----------



## waiting2bemommy

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *ArtsyHeartsy*
> 
> Today someone with a younger baby was telling me how small my baby is tiny (and she is only in the 5th percentile) and asked me if I drank coffee when I was pregnant! lol!
> 
> This is not advice either but I recently saw a probably 18mo old on a leash thing...you know what I mean, and the parents were sitting next to him on the ground and letting him chugg their mountain dew. Kind of defeats the purpose of the leash, right? haha!!!


I had someone (no longer a friend) watch my ds, who has DIGANOSED sensory problems and ADHD, and ask me "Are you sure you didn't do drugs while you were pregnant?" I was so insulted I didn't even know what to say. Oddly enough, ds was my firt pregnancy so I was the strictest with him. My other pregnancies I have allowed the occasional indulgence in a food coloring filled slurpee, a soda, etc.Yet ds is my wild child!!!

I will confess to buying a bottle of soda, dumping it out, refilling with seltzer water and cranberry juice, and telling ds it was cherry coke. Because his friend was really allowed to drink cherry coke, and he wanted one too. Not sure if that makes me clever or a total pushover.....lol.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *waiting2bemommy*
> 
> I will confess to buying a bottle of soda, dumping it out, refilling with seltzer water and cranberry juice, and telling ds it was cherry coke. Because his friend was really allowed to drink cherry coke, and he wanted one too. Not sure if that makes me clever or a total pushover.....lol.


Brilliant. Around here, soda is "Daddy soda". DD asks for sips, but is generally okay with being told "no, that's Daddy soda, have some DD soda instead." (Fruit juice and seltzer or Izze soda which is the same thing.)


----------



## leighi123

My 3yr old drinks iced tea once in a while. No sugar/sweetener and its caffene free. He drinks hot tea often as well. Whats wrong with that? (I lived in england for a while, kids got regular tea with lunch every day preschool on up!)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *hasya*
> 
> I cannot believe how dumb some people are!
> 
> I once saw a woman giving her ~3 year old iced tea. This was before I became a mother or was even pregnant, so I wasn't sure if it was what people did, but I sure thought it was wrong.


----------



## SpiderMum

I let my 2 and a half year old drink tea if she wants. We sweeten it with some sugar and it's caffeine-free. I don't freak out if she has soda some either....though I draw the line at artificial sweeteners which made her father sick on top of everything else. I was picky before age 1, but now I don't freak about things in moderation. Life is too short to police every single thing she tastes.


----------



## Smokering

My three-year-old is currently infatuated with my "Third Trimester Tea". Which is vile. It has dandelion, nettles, raspberry leaf, spearmint... burdock? Plenty of weird stuff, anyway. I chug a cup a day out of a vague sense of duty to the unborn, but I find it most unpleasant. DD, on the other hand, can't get enough. I do sweeten it with honey, but not enough to make it appealing to a preschooler... you would think! She'll have the most toned uterus of any toddler ever.


----------



## dairy2dogs

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Smokering*
> 
> She'll have the most toned uterus of any toddler ever.


----------



## PatienceAndLove

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Smokering*
> 
> She'll have the most toned uterus of any toddler ever.


I think that is the funniest thing you have ever said


----------



## beccamama31

My mother/ whom I don't get along with

has told my kids how red bull is good for them// and has fed it to them behind my back 

,, and that it has vitamins that will help them stay strong and healthy. We no longer speak much.. It still infuriates DH and I to this day,, and she apparently got through to them because any time we're in a store they always ask if they can get red bull and that it's healthy... rolling my eyes LOL


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *beccamama31*
> 
> My mother/ whom I don't get along with
> 
> has told my kids how red bull is good for them// and has fed it to them behind my back
> 
> ,, and that it has vitamins that will help them stay strong and healthy. We no longer speak much.. It still infuriates DH and I to this day,, and she apparently got through to them because any time we're in a store they always ask if they can get red bull and that it's healthy... rolling my eyes LOL


...Red Bull isn't healthy for ADULTS. That's insane.


----------



## hasya

Tea makes ME bounce off walls, and I am certainly not serving it to DD! I don't know if pester power will win, but not willingly...


----------



## PatienceAndLove

I will soon be announcing my pregnancy to my family. I am sure there will be some interesting things that I shall contribute to this thread.


----------



## SquidMommy

DP and I were at the grocery store with DS tonight, picking up stuff for dinner. DS was being his usual squeaky, goofy, smiley self, which made more than a few people stop and comment on how adorable he is. No harm, no foul - til a woman walked right up to the cart, leaned WAY too close in to him, and asked him, "Is mommy getting you milk? And cookies and ice cream?"

Dude. My son is THREE MONTHS OLD. The milk notwithstanding, I guarantee you, I am not picking up a pint of Ben and Jerry's to cram into his pudgy little maw. Oreos were not on the shopping list, either.

It was reflexive, but I said, "Absolutely not." Probably should have kept my mouth shut, because the woman glared daggers at me and marched out of the aisle like I said I was about to leave my kid in a produce cooler and call it a day. I guess I'm depriving my baby...of trans fats?


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *SquidMommy*
> 
> DP and I were at the grocery store with DS tonight, picking up stuff for dinner. DS was being his usual squeaky, goofy, smiley self, which made more than a few people stop and comment on how adorable he is. No harm, no foul - til a woman walked right up to the cart, leaned WAY too close in to him, and asked him, "Is mommy getting you milk? And cookies and ice cream?"
> 
> Dude. My son is THREE MONTHS OLD. The milk notwithstanding, I guarantee you, I am not picking up a pint of Ben and Jerry's to cram into his pudgy little maw. Oreos were not on the shopping list, either.
> 
> It was reflexive, but I said, "Absolutely not." Probably should have kept my mouth shut, because the woman glared daggers at me and marched out of the aisle like I said I was about to leave my kid in a produce cooler and call it a day. I guess I'm depriving my baby...of trans fats?


She may have been joking...but I totally feel ya there. We went to a bday party when DS1 was around 6mo. One of the grandmas came up and asked, "Did Mommy give you some frosting?" Uhm, No... 1) He's 6mo 2)He has a dairy intolerance so *I* didn't even have any frosting. The best part was that when I politely said, "nope" she laughed and said, "Aww, well maybe next time."

Yeah...


----------



## Amatullah0

I'm pretty sure DS was about 6mo when someone(young, childless friend) thought it would be fine to give DS frosting(no intolerances, but IMO, frosting is gross, especially for a 6 mo!)


----------



## Kelly1101

I don't even have to eat like a "crunchy" person (with organic no preservative etc etc) to know that you don't give frosting to a 6 month old. It's just pure sugar! Doesn't EVERYONE know you don't give sugar to babies? Before I had kids I never babysat or anything... but I *STILL* knew that you don't give a baby sugar. Holy crispy crap.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Smokering*
> 
> My three-year-old is currently infatuated with my "Third Trimester Tea". Which is vile. It has dandelion, nettles, raspberry leaf, spearmint... burdock? Plenty of weird stuff, anyway. I chug a cup a day out of a vague sense of duty to the unborn, but I find it most unpleasant. DD, on the other hand, can't get enough. I do sweeten it with honey, but not enough to make it appealing to a preschooler... you would think! She'll have the most toned uterus of any toddler ever.


Lol.

And my dd declined the fruity herbal infusion I sweetened with honey and lemon juice to soothe my sore throat in favor of asking for the "green hot tea!"


----------



## shnitzel

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Kelly1101*
> 
> I don't even have to eat like a "crunchy" person (with organic no preservative etc etc) to know that you don't give frosting to a 6 month old. It's just pure sugar! Doesn't EVERYONE know you don't give sugar to babies? Before I had kids I never babysat or anything... but I *STILL* knew that you don't give a baby sugar. Holy crispy crap.


I saw someone I kind of know feeding her six month old jam off her finger at a restaurant, the type full of HFCS. Ich. Guess it has fruit?


----------



## Amatullah0

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *shnitzel*
> 
> I saw someone I kind of know feeding her six month old jam off her finger at a restaurant, the type full of HFCS. Ich. Guess it has fruit?


maybe... LOL

but it honestly could have been me. Not that I would open up a new packet of jam to feed baby, but if I had a smear of it on my finger, and baby was eating solids, and I didn't know or care about "the evils of HFCS" aka "the evils of refined sugar" I would probably do that with no thought to it.

now, feeding a whole package of jam to the baby? thats probably something my mom would do. I cringed when she gave DS cranberry sauce at thanksgiving (at 16mo old)


----------



## crunchy_mommy

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Amatullah0*
> 
> maybe... LOL
> 
> but it honestly could have been me. Not that I would open up a new packet of jam to feed baby, but if I had a smear of it on my finger, and baby was eating solids, and I didn't know or care about "the evils of HFCS" aka "the evils of refined sugar" I would probably do that with no thought to it.
> 
> now, feeding a whole package of jam to the baby? thats probably something my mom would do. I cringed when she gave DS cranberry sauce at thanksgiving (at 16mo old)


This reminds me of my FIL feeding my nephew (who must've been about 6mos old at the time?) We were all having Chinese take-out and FIL kept dipping bread in soy sauce -- SOAKING it in soy sauce, actually -- to give to DN. I was just very, very thankful that my 1yo DS was at the other end of the table happily munching on my steamed veggies & tofu.... (well, FIL is actually great about asking if DS can have stuff... but let's not tempt him







)


----------



## swd12422

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *SquidMommy*
> 
> DP and I were at the grocery store with DS tonight, picking up stuff for dinner. DS was being his usual squeaky, goofy, smiley self, which made more than a few people stop and comment on how adorable he is. No harm, no foul - til a woman walked right up to the cart, leaned WAY too close in to him, and asked him, "Is mommy getting you milk? And cookies and ice cream?"
> 
> Dude. My son is THREE MONTHS OLD. The milk notwithstanding, I guarantee you, I am not picking up a pint of Ben and Jerry's to cram into his pudgy little maw. Oreos were not on the shopping list, either.
> 
> It was reflexive, but I said, "Absolutely not." Probably should have kept my mouth shut, because the woman glared daggers at me and marched out of the aisle like I said I was about to leave my kid in a produce cooler and call it a day. I guess I'm depriving my baby...of trans fats?


This reminds me of a time I had DS at Target. He has always been very good out at stores, and was sitting quietly in the cart holding a piece of dried fruit. A lady came past, smiled, and said, "Oh, no WONDER you're being so good -- Mommy gave you a cookie! Is that a good cookie?" I said, "He always this good, and it's NOT a cookie. It's FRUIT." I was so annoyed that anyone would assume a kid is only behaving b/c they have a cookie! Then she said, "Oh, you're such a GOOD mother, giving him fruit!" I just walked away. I really wanted to say something like yeah, I'm a terrific mom, I give him fruit and only beat him when he needs it. But I didn't want to continue the conversation with her...


----------



## treeoflife3

Although I have to say... my kid behaves better in the grocery store knowing she'll get a cookie half way through since they hand out free cookies for kids. They are probably filled with about a million things I'd never buy or let her eat otherwise but it gets me through the trip like nothing else ever worked for us.


----------



## Honey693

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *treeoflife3*
> 
> Although I have to say... my kid behaves better in the grocery store knowing she'll get a cookie half way through since they hand out free cookies for kids. They are probably filled with about a million things I'd never buy or let her eat otherwise but it gets me through the trip like nothing else ever worked for us.


We do this and i steal bites


----------



## treeoflife3

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Honey693*
> 
> We do this and i steal bites


I don't because I think they taste yucky haha but a simple 'remember, if you are patient, you'll get a cookie over there' is all I need to do now to keep her from screaming to amuse herself since helping me gets boring really fast apparently. No other treats of any type ever worked like the special cookie at the store that she otherwise never gets. I can't not bring her with me and I can't shop with her screaming. It works... she stays quiet and I get my shopping done without stress.


----------



## Irishmommy

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Honey693*
> 
> We do this and i steal bites


Both kids were GF for a couple of years (we're trialing food now). They would get the free cookie for me.


----------



## swd12422

Oh, believe me, I'm not at all opposed to a little bribery to get through the day. I know lots of kids just don't like the grocery store and it's a chore. But my kid was always the opposite: great while out and a terror at home, and it just rubbed me the wrong way that that lady assumed that every kid his age needs to be bribed to be quiet at the store.


----------



## hasya

Oh yes, that, about quiet babies! DD is the same, swd! I have had people tell me that I am depriving DD of the "good stuff" when I refused juice or cookies or some such for her.

I have one - from a very dear friend, actually, and she stopped as soon as I told her to, but it is actually something I used to hear from many people, growing up.

I was siphoning DD's nose (she's teething and mucousy everywhere) when DH was out of town. My friend was helping me by holding her down for it. DH manages to do it by himself. No idea how. But I can't. Right on cue, she began screaming. My friend can be quite strong in the face of shrieking (she doesn't have children yet), but made me stop because it became too much for her. I stood up to wash up, and my friend starting cooing, "Bad mommy". I stopped her from saying that. I don't want DD learning to blame others for her problems.

Similarly-

A child would fall and the parents/adult caretaker(s) go and start beating up the ground to pacify the child. Agreed that the parents aren't trying to send any message beyond "Here's a distraction", but I think that it makes children learn to blame others for their own mistakes. I stopped DH from doing this the other day. I choose to hold her and let her cry while I wipe her tears or kiss her or ask if she's in pain or is frightened (not that she understands; she turns 1 in less than 2 hours!!!). Only after a few minutes do I get up and walk over to some place interesting. I don't push it, though. If she gets interested and stops crying, great! This usually works, or some more holding and a new interesting place helps.


----------



## mommy212

I had to defend not giving my 7 month old ice cream at a family friend's house last year. Unfortunately I was so flustered by it I didn't have a good explanation come to me at all and looked/felt like an idiot. He had just started solids 2 weeks before!


----------



## Comtessa

ooh, I've got one. Not said to me, but to a group of teen moms I knew in Latin America. They were all breastfeeding their babies just fine, but their family members all told them they needed to give their babies a "filler bottle" between feedings to make sure they were getting enough to eat. So all these young moms obediently mixed up bottles for their breasfed babies every day, consisting of equal parts powdered cow's milk and white sugar, mixed with warm tap water.









I suppose that it's a testament to the resiliency of infants that they all seemed to thrive, despite their diet!


----------



## Kelly1101

Sugar. That's always my reasoning. "Thanks, I have enough to deal with, without having to handle this little one all whacked out on sugar *laugh* ". People seem to get that.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *mommy212*
> 
> I had to defend not giving my 7 month old ice cream at a family friend's house last year. Unfortunately I was so flustered by it I didn't have a good explanation come to me at all and looked/felt like an idiot. He had just started solids 2 weeks before!


----------



## stewska

I've greatly enjoyed this thread. It has sucked up plenty of my time the last two days  Fortunately, I haven't had too many REALLY stupid comments, but here are my contributions:

DH was holding DD, who was about 3 months old at the time, in a department store while I tried on some clothes. DD started fussing and as DH was comforting her some lady came up to him and asked if we use pacifiers. DH explained that we do not like to use them. She replied that "now might be a good time to start." ugh, the nerve. Heaven forbid a three month old baby cry.

Our pediatrician's office hands out sheets at each visit that lists your baby's weight, height, and percentiles, etc. Also included is information regarding your child's development and "rules" to follow. The last several have included the helpful tip that "if your baby cries in the middle of the night, do not pick him up." We also got the talk about how we should probably stop co-sleeping soon if we ever want our bed back. I'm currently looking for a new doctor...

I am also getting a little annoyed with rude comments about babywearing. Either to the effect of "didnt' you carry her for 9 months already?" or weird comments to my DH if he has DD in the ergo about how amazing it is that he's carrying her, or how easy I have it. Um, yeah...he's a good dad.


----------



## Kelly1101

*head in hands*

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *stewska*
> 
> "if your baby cries in the middle of the night, do not pick him up."


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *stewska*
> 
> I've greatly enjoyed this thread. It has sucked up plenty of my time the last two days  Fortunately, I haven't had too many REALLY stupid comments, but here are my contributions:
> 
> DH was holding DD, who was about 3 months old at the time, in a department store while I tried on some clothes. DD started fussing and as DH was comforting her some lady came up to him and asked if we use pacifiers. DH explained that we do not like to use them. She replied that "now might be a good time to start." ugh, the nerve. Heaven forbid a three month old baby cry.
> 
> Our pediatrician's office hands out sheets at each visit that lists your baby's weight, height, and percentiles, etc. Also included is information regarding your child's development and "rules" to follow. The last several have included the helpful tip that "if your baby cries in the middle of the night, do not pick him up." We also got the talk about how we should probably stop co-sleeping soon if we ever want our bed back. I'm currently looking for a new doctor...
> 
> I am also getting a little annoyed with rude comments about babywearing. Either to the effect of "didnt' you carry her for 9 months already?" or weird comments to my DH if he has DD in the ergo about how amazing it is that he's carrying her, or how easy I have it. Um, yeah...he's a good dad.


1. How did the lady expect your dh to get a pacifier? Use his immense super-human strength to mold one out of a nearby clothes hanger and clean it of all the chemicals with his super-breath??

2. W.O.W. Hope you find a good doctor soon! (Definitely post about that in the Finding Your Tribe forum for your area.)

3. We always got comments about how dd looked comfy and "there's a nice place to ride!" Never realized quite how lucky we were. I recommend that you either say "yes, she's very comfy." or, meaner, for people who say it every time you see them, "yeah, we've tried making her walk, but she just insists on laying there."


----------



## treeoflife3

I once had a guy come up to me in walmart (yes I know, don't judge!) to ask me where I got my moby wrap once. His (wife? girlfriend? cousin?) was pregnant <3


----------



## Kelly1101

I've had this happen to me with ring slings and with my mei tai. Also gotten lots of favorable comments. So, lucky there as well.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *treeoflife3*
> 
> I once had a guy come up to me in walmart (yes I know, don't judge!) to ask me where I got my moby wrap once. His (wife? girlfriend? cousin?) was pregnant <3


----------



## Jaxinator

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *hasya*
> 
> A child would fall and the parents/adult caretaker(s) go and start beating up the ground to pacify the child. Agreed that the parents aren't trying to send any message beyond "Here's a distraction", but I think that it makes children learn to blame others for their own mistakes.


Thank you for posting that!

I've seen lots of people do that, and it always bothered me, but never could quite figure out why. Or for accidents, like the dog stood up and knocked the kid down, so now it's "bad doggy". Oy.


----------



## ArtsyHeartsy

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *hasya*
> A child would fall and the parents/adult caretaker(s) go and start beating up the ground to pacify the child. Agreed that the parents aren't trying to send any message beyond "Here's a distraction", but I think that it makes children learn to blame others for their own mistakes. I stopped DH from doing this the other day. I choose to hold her and let her cry while I wipe her tears or kiss her or ask if she's in pain or is frightened (not that she understands; she turns 1 in less than 2 hours!!!). Only after a few minutes do I get up and walk over to some place interesting. I don't push it, though. If she gets interested and stops crying, great! This usually works, or some more holding and a new interesting place helps.


I really don't think there is anything wrong with that, if a child falls it's not really their mistake...in my mind, it's just an accident and it happens. I've done things like this (not to living things like dogs though) many times as a joke because it cheers kids up and they think it's funny and start giggling. Just like if they bump into a table I say silly stuff about the table jumping out and bumping into them because it had a bad day, or some other silly thing that is completely ridiculous, just like beating up the ground. I really don't think that is the same as blaming other people etc. for mistakes you make. It's just a silly thing to get them to laugh while comforting them. At least that's what it is when I do it. And it almost always works... Just sayin'!







We may be talking about different age groups too. I don't see how that would be helpful for a 1 year old.

Could be worse...I went to the park with my friend and when her just-turned-1 dd fell on the ground in front of a group of moms they all started talking to her, poor baby, are you okay, etc.. and my friend just told her to get up she's okay and wouldn't touch her. I was embarrassed to be honest. I felt bad for her and all the moms stared at her like she was crazy. I had to take a minute and took my dd to the other part of the park. I mean, I know that kids will milk it at a certain age. My dss used to cry and cry over the silliest things when he was 2-3, he would barely bump something and scream...but only if his grandma was there because she would run to him, offer him a cookie or something like that. It got really ridiculous, but my friends' dd was only one, certainly wasn't milking it.

Oops, I just went off on a tangent...I better add some bad advice to this post.....

Okay not advice but still annoying. I have a friend who has a baby about a month younger than mine and my dd was spending the night at their house with their older dd...they were feeding the baby, prob 4 mos or so, baby food...and my dd1 must have told them my dd doesn't eat solids and they specifically texted us just to ask if we feed her solids and when we said we were waiting till at least 6 mos. they texted back, "YIKES!" Let me also add that their older kids have allergies to foods. Coincidence?


----------



## ArtsyHeartsy

I should also say that I have never really seen anyone "beat up the ground" I have never done that and I don't hit things, just talk to the object as if it's alive and ask it why it did that, I can't imagine beating up the ground. haha!!!


----------



## treeoflife3

Even as an adult, I'll still say something bit me if I get hurt on something. 'Ow! that table just bit me!' 'ow! the computer just bit me!' It's better than the other thing I usually do if I don't do that, which is put myself down. 'ugh, I'm so clumsy.' 'wow, I'm completely blind.' 'well how stupid of me.'


----------



## jenP

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *hasya*
> 
> A child would fall and the parents/adult caretaker(s) go and start beating up the ground to pacify the child. Agreed that the parents aren't trying to send any message beyond "Here's a distraction", but I think that it makes children learn to blame others for their own mistakes.


Totally disagree. I see it as serving three good functions: 1- distraction, gets the kid laughing and they get less focused on the pain and upset. 2- When the grown-up is getting all melodramatic and funny about "punishing" the "bad sidewalk," while the kid is laughing I think they do actually realize that it is really silly to blame the inanimate object for your own accident (Otherwise they wouldn't be laughing, right? - they are laughing precisely because, whether they can verbalize it or not, they understand that it is ridiculous to blame something else for their own mistake.) and 3- helps them get out some frustration. Sometimes little kids get really MAD about an accident, and might, in their anger and frustration, lash out and hit the nearest person. Not good. Stomping on the sidewalk, while perhaps not THE healthiest way to deal with frustration, is for a two-year-old a HUGE step up from hitting other people and a good step in the direction of self-control.


----------



## jenP

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Jaxinator*
> 
> Thank you for posting that!
> 
> I've seen lots of people do that, and it always bothered me, but never could quite figure out why. Or for accidents, like the dog stood up and knocked the kid down, so now it's "bad doggy". Oy.


Really???? I don't have a dog myself, but I have lots of friends and relatives who do, and one of, in their opinions, most important things they train the dog is to NOT jump up/stand up on people. They all feel it is really, really important to not have dogs jumping up on people and work hard to train their dogs not to do that. And if/when their dog DOES jump up on someone, they are the first to say "BAD DOG!!!" Even more so if the person the dog is jumping on is a little kid, especially if the dog has knocked the poor kid over.


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *jenP*
> 
> Really???? I don't have a dog myself, but I have lots of friends and relatives who do, and one of, in their opinions, most important things they train the dog is to NOT jump up/stand up on people. They all feel it is really, really important to not have dogs jumping up on people and work hard to train their dogs not to do that. And if/when their dog DOES jump up on someone, they are the first to say "BAD DOG!!!" Even more so if the person the dog is jumping on is a little kid, especially if the dog has knocked the poor kid over.


There is a difference between a dog jumping on someone and a dog walking past an unsteady toddler and the toddler falling over. My bio-dad has a HUGE German Shepherd that kept trying to sniff DS1. He was being really gentle but due to his size DS1 kept falling over. The dog wasn't jumping or anything...


----------



## CVSilva

Grapes do taste better split in half! I think splitting them adds a texture dimension to the tasting of grapes.


----------



## Jaxinator

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *jenP*
> 
> Really???? I don't have a dog myself, but I have lots of friends and relatives who do, and one of, in their opinions, most important things they train the dog is to NOT jump up/stand up on people. They all feel it is really, really important to not have dogs jumping up on people and work hard to train their dogs not to do that. And if/when their dog DOES jump up on someone, they are the first to say "BAD DOG!!!" Even more so if the person the dog is jumping on is a little kid, especially if the dog has knocked the poor kid over.


Yes, really.

I didn't say a dog jumping up, I said a dog standing up. Like it was laying on the ground, got up to go somewhere and accidently knocked over the kid.


----------



## jenP

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Jaxinator*
> 
> Yes, really.
> 
> I didn't say a dog jumping up, I said a dog standing up. Like it was laying on the ground, got up to go somewhere and accidently knocked over the kid.


Ahhhh, thank you for the clarification! Now I get it.

Sorry! - when I pictured a dog "standing up and knocking someone over," I pictured the dog "standing up" on its hind legs, putting front paws on the person and thus, knocking them over.


----------



## stewska

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan*
> 
> 1. How did the lady expect your dh to get a pacifier? Use his immense super-human strength to mold one out of a nearby clothes hanger and clean it of all the chemicals with his super-breath??
> 
> 2. W.O.W. Hope you find a good doctor soon! (Definitely post about that in the Finding Your Tribe forum for your area.)
> 
> 3. We always got comments about how dd looked comfy and "there's a nice place to ride!" Never realized quite how lucky we were. I recommend that you either say "yes, she's very comfy." or, meaner, for people who say it every time you see them, "yeah, we've tried making her walk, but she just insists on laying there."


1. LOL! It's too bad we didn't have a pacifier to quiet down the lady 

2. I'm just glad I know better. I feel bad that there are parents out there that think everything a doctor tells them must be right and will follow this advice. Sigh...
3. I shouldn't complain too much about babywearing comments. For the most part people are just inquisitive, have something nice to say, or say how pretty they think my moby wrap is  It's just that the few rude or insensitive comments stick in my mind!


----------



## Ginger Bean

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *stewska*
> 
> Our pediatrician's office hands out sheets at each visit that lists your baby's weight, height, and percentiles, etc. Also included is information regarding your child's development and "rules" to follow. The last several have included the helpful tip that "if your baby cries in the middle of the night, do not pick him up." We also got the talk about how we should probably stop co-sleeping soon if we ever want our bed back. I'm currently looking for a new doctor...


WHY? Why does a doctor's office push one parenting "style" over others?

Would you consider telling them why you're switching? Maybe they'd cool it on the baby politics.


----------



## Kelly1101

I don't know why some peds do that. I'm really happy mine doesn't. He just weighs them and checks them out physically, and gives me treatment options when they're sick. Period. I love him.

I'd second that about telling them... even just write a letter after you switch.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Ginger Bean*
> 
> WHY? Why does a doctor's office push one parenting "style" over others?
> 
> Would you consider telling them why you're switching? Maybe they'd cool it on the baby politics.


----------



## Ginger Bean

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Kelly1101*
> 
> I don't know why some peds do that. I'm really happy mine doesn't. He just weighs them and checks them out physically, and gives me treatment options when they're sick. Period. I love him.
> 
> I'd second that about telling them... even just write a letter after you switch.


Yes, I'm so grateful for ours!

She doesn't obsess about rate of weight gain or weight percentiles (my son put on a lot of weight in the beginning, now his gain is really slow and he's dropping percentiles fast -- totally typical of a breastfed baby, but some peds don't seem to get that).

She didn't care when I told her at 7 months that he was eating very little solid food. She's never once asked us about his sleep. She's satisfied that he's healthy and happy. I don't know if she's different or if it's because I live abroad and things are just different here (Poland).

Today I asked her about my son's waking up every 2 hours at night. It was sort of a "test" -- I was just curious what she would say and how different it would be from an American doctor's answer. I mean, I already know the answer: he's 8 months old! He's almost crawling, wants to stand, has teeth coming in, and is changing all around at an incredible rate.

Anyway, she basically just said: That's what babies do. It's totally normal, and some babies don't sleep through until they're 3 years old. There really isn't anything you can do. It's tough being a parent.

That was it. No stuff about CIO, schedules, not co-sleeping, weaning him, stuffing him with solids, teething gel, etc. For me, that was the right answer.

Anyway, I don't understand the pushing of one parenting style as if it were medical advice. Imagine if you went to the gyn's office and they were telling you how often to have sex. ("If your husband wants sex more than 3 times a week, let him CIO!")


----------



## goinggreengirl

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Ginger Bean*
> 
> Anyway, I don't understand the pushing of one parenting style as if it were medical advice. Imagine if you went to the gyn's office and they were telling you how often to have sex. ("If your husband wants sex more than 3 times a week, let him CIO!")











I'm thinking the husbands would be pushing a change of doctor then!

ETA: A few gems from my most recent pedi appointment: Telling me he needed to pull back the foreskin to check for a hole. We had a confrontation about that one!








Finding out my husband was a pastor and trying to use that against me in the vax argument. (Not very well, I might add.)








Telling me DS was old enough for a time out (best way to do it is shut him alone in a room for a minute or two.)









I'll be requesting a different pedi next time.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *goinggreengirl*
> 
> Telling me he needed to pull back the foreskin to check for a hole.


That's a good way to find a hole. Because he'd be MAKING one.


----------



## Amatullah0

Yep, don't you know the new timeout guidelines are a minute per month of age? You SHOULD be giving your 2 month old timeouts on a regular basis. It's good for his health, immune system, lungs, brain development...... /sarcasm

(I'm assuming your DS is 2mo by your siggy, goinggreengirl)

Yep, and pull back the foreskin to make sure there's a hole. Because, you know, just because he is peeing, doesn't mean there is a "hole." Apparently, the pee soaks through the skin or something? I mean, how else does it come out if the urethra is blocked?

That's crazy, really.


----------



## BarefootScientist

For the record, I love my mom, we're very close, and I'm actually planning on having her at my upcoming birth if the timing works out right. But she can say some pretty ...odd things. Last week I told her that I was 3 cm dilated and 80% effaced at my appointment, and ever since she has been calling me every day to make sure I haven't had the baby yet. Like I wouldn't keep her updated or something. Our conversation last night went something like this:

*Ring ring*
Me, picking up the phone: "Nope, still not in labor."
Mom: "Haha. Are you having more contractions?"
Me: "No more than usual. Just occasional Braxton Hicks."
Mom: "Well, what about those cramps at night you mentioned?"
Me: "Yeah, I still get crampy on and off. Those aren't contractions though, it's just general crampiness."
Mom: "Crampiness is contractions! You should time them!"
Me: "Mom, they're not timeable. It's just general crampiness."
Mom: "Every night? So it's like 24 hours apart."
Me:







"Yeah, sure. If you say so."
Mom: "You should time then and see if they're getting closer together. Like 23 and a half hours."
Me:









Another part of the conversation:
Mom: "Well, what's wrong with your baby? (in regards to him/her not being born yet)
Me:







(Thinking, there's something WRONG with him/her because he/she doesn't want to be preterm??) "Mom, I AM still only 36 weeks."
Mom: "Well....is she still moving? Still kicking you?"
Me:







"Well...YES!"










She also said, when I told her we were switching from home to hospital birth to get antibiotics for Group B strep, that she was "so disappointed" because it was a "status symbol" to have a grandchild born at home. This one didn't bother me (I'm glad she was so supportive of our homebirth plans!) but I thought it was pretty funny.


----------



## Smokering

Quote:


> Finding out my husband was a pastor and trying to use that against me in the vax argument. (Not very well, I might add.)


That's kind of intriguing. What was his argument? "Jesus would vax"? Or was it more like "He will spread The Typhus among his flock when he visits them"?


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Amatullah0*
> 
> Yep, don't you know the new timeout guidelines are a minute per month of age? You SHOULD be giving your 2 month old timeouts on a regular basis. It's good for his health, immune system, lungs, brain development...... /sarcasm
> 
> (I'm assuming your DS is 2mo by your siggy, goinggreengirl)
> 
> Yep, and pull back the foreskin to make sure there's a hole. Because, you know, just because he is peeing, doesn't mean there is a "hole." Apparently, the pee soaks through the skin or something? I mean, how else does it come out if the urethra is blocked?
> 
> That's crazy, really.


Ooooohhhhhh, I thought the pediatrician was wanting to check if there was a tear in the glans or foreskin. Y'know, like he always finds when he retracts boys to check for a hole?


----------



## Kelly1101

Okay, the 24-hours / 23.5-hours apart thing made me LOL. She seems like she's just antsy as hell. My mom was like that, too-- I think she was more in a twitter and anxious for me to have the baby than I was, LMAO.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *BarefootScientist*
> 
> For the record, I love my mom, we're very close, and I'm actually planning on having her at my upcoming birth if the timing works out right. But she can say some pretty ...odd things. Last week I told her that I was 3 cm dilated and 80% effaced at my appointment, and ever since she has been calling me every day to make sure I haven't had the baby yet. Like I wouldn't keep her updated or something. Our conversation last night went something like this:
> 
> *Ring ring*
> Me, picking up the phone: "Nope, still not in labor."
> Mom: "Haha. Are you having more contractions?"
> Me: "No more than usual. Just occasional Braxton Hicks."
> Mom: "Well, what about those cramps at night you mentioned?"
> Me: "Yeah, I still get crampy on and off. Those aren't contractions though, it's just general crampiness."
> Mom: "Crampiness is contractions! You should time them!"
> Me: "Mom, they're not timeable. It's just general crampiness."
> Mom: "Every night? So it's like 24 hours apart."
> Me:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> "Yeah, sure. If you say so."
> Mom: "You should time then and see if they're getting closer together. Like 23 and a half hours."
> Me:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Another part of the conversation:
> Mom: "Well, what's wrong with your baby? (in regards to him/her not being born yet)
> Me:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> (Thinking, there's something WRONG with him/her because he/she doesn't want to be preterm??) "Mom, I AM still only 36 weeks."
> Mom: "Well....is she still moving? Still kicking you?"
> Me:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> "Well...YES!"
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> She also said, when I told her we were switching from home to hospital birth to get antibiotics for Group B strep, that she was "so disappointed" because it was a "status symbol" to have a grandchild born at home. This one didn't bother me (I'm glad she was so supportive of our homebirth plans!) but I thought it was pretty funny.


----------



## goinggreengirl

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Amatullah0*
> 
> Yep, don't you know the new timeout guidelines are a minute per month of age? You SHOULD be giving your 2 month old timeouts on a regular basis. It's good for his health, immune system, lungs, brain development...... /sarcasm
> 
> (I'm assuming your DS is 2mo by your siggy, goinggreengirl)
> 
> Yep, and pull back the foreskin to make sure there's a hole. Because, you know, just because he is peeing, doesn't mean there is a "hole." Apparently, the pee soaks through the skin or something? I mean, how else does it come out if the urethra is blocked?
> 
> That's crazy, really.


I need to update my siggy, he's 13 months but with my child, the room would need to be completely empty in order for him to be safe.

And the hole thing?







I wonder if he checks for a hole in girl babies?

Smokering- he did it really badly. He said, "Since you are a Christian, let me put it this way..." and then he started in on understanding me not wanting to mess with what God had made and he knew it was a big decision. Then I think he realized he didn't have an argument and went into herd immunity.


----------



## hasya

Gingerbean (I think, about the letting husband CIO), HAHAHA!!!

Going green girl, SHUT THE BABY IN A ROOM???

Gingerbean, it is interesting that you mentioned that about your son's weight dropping percentiles. DD dropped from 25th to 15th or some such on the WHO charts for b/fed babies (I think she follows the CDC one on which she's 5th percentile). The ped ordered a whole battery of blood tests to make sure that I am giving her enough food and NOT just breastmilk but tons of iron fortified cereal as well! She gained 11 oz in 3 months but I am pretty certain that she may have lost some weight or levelled off for 7-10 days because of teething and a cold (or super-runny nose because of teething). Coinciding with teething, she also gets mucus in her stools along with having a runny nose. I don't know what that is about. Both mucousy things disappeared on the same day, 2 days after her 2 lower lateral incisors poked out. She now has all of her incisors and is working on her lower premolars (I see the inflamed gums). Ped also told me that DD was too short for her age. Has the ped SEEN both parents standing in front of her eyes? Neither of us is a giant.

Granted, her blood tests do show an iron deficiency. So, I am trying to give her iron rich foods with fruit (vit C) to improve her iron profile. She may still have to take a supplement :-(.

But I called my family doctor in my country who routinely sees vegetarian kids of my ethnicity and she told me that her height and weight are fine for these babies!

However, my doctor also said that I should start giving her cow's milk because I *cannot* nurse her for longer than 6 months more, if that. I didn't ask why not. No energy to argue!


----------



## hasya

Oh yeah one of the many questions that came up in the routine questions that the nurse asks us before the doctor comes in -

"And the baby sleeps well in separate sleep surface?"...

I was opening my mouth when my husband just replied yes. He just wasn't in the mood to discuss our parenting style. To be honest, neither was I.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Ginger Bean*
> 
> WHY? Why does a doctor's office push one parenting "style" over others?
> 
> Would you consider telling them why you're switching? Maybe they'd cool it on the baby politics.


----------



## KempsMama

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *hasya*
> 
> Oh yeah one of the many questions that came up in the routine questions that the nurse asks us before the doctor comes in -
> 
> "And the baby sleeps well in separate sleep surface?"...
> 
> I was opening my mouth when my husband just replied yes. He just wasn't in the mood to discuss our parenting style. To be honest, neither was I.


We avoid the topic too-Our usual response is something like "we are very happy with our LO's sleep, pass the bean dip!"


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *hasya*
> 
> Gingerbean (I think, about the letting husband CIO), HAHAHA!!!
> 
> Going green girl, SHUT THE BABY IN A ROOM???
> 
> Gingerbean, it is interesting that you mentioned that about your son's weight dropping percentiles. DD dropped from 25th to 15th or some such on the WHO charts for b/fed babies (I think she follows the CDC one on which she's 5th percentile). The ped ordered a whole battery of blood tests to make sure that I am giving her enough food and NOT just breastmilk but tons of iron fortified cereal as well! She gained 11 oz in 3 months but I am pretty certain that she may have lost some weight or levelled off for 7-10 days because of teething and a cold (or super-runny nose because of teething). Coinciding with teething, she also gets mucus in her stools along with having a runny nose. I don't know what that is about. Both mucousy things disappeared on the same day, 2 days after her 2 lower lateral incisors poked out. She now has all of her incisors and is working on her lower premolars (I see the inflamed gums). Ped also told me that DD was too short for her age. Has the ped SEEN both parents standing in front of her eyes? Neither of us is a giant.


Granted, her blood tests do show an iron deficiency. So, I am trying to give her iron rich foods with fruit (vit C) to improve her iron profile. She may still have to take a supplement :-(.

But I called my family doctor in my country who routinely sees vegetarian kids of my ethnicity and she told me that her height and weight are fine for these babies!

However, my doctor also said that I should start giving her cow's milk because I *cannot* nurse her for longer than 6 months more, if that. I didn't ask why not. No energy to argue!"

Excess mucous, iron deficiency, and poor weight gain say food allergy to me. Particularly wheat or dairy. I know more than one child personally who went from underweight to normal within a couple months of cutting out wheat. (And the weight gain began within days of doing the elimination.)


----------



## hasya

Sapphire, that's entirely likely. I suspected an allergy several times but my elimination diet wasn't conclusive. I am off wheat now anyway and she is loads better but her incisors have come out too. So, I am not sure if it was teething or any allergy. I had been eating wheat for several weeks before the mucous began and JUST before teeth poked out. She had a runny nose and mucous in her stools until the day after the incisor came out. But of course, I have been avoiding wheat and dairy (the latter, for the most part), and she's doing fine.

Thankfully, her folic acid and B12 levels are fine as is her thyroid hormone. So, fingers crossed for it not to be coeliac disease (iron AND those are affected in coeliacs, I read).

Sorry for hijacking the thread, OP-

Does anyone know if, if there's an allergy, reactions like mucous begin immediately upon exposure or if it takes time or if both are possible? Teething keeps getting in the way of my elimination diet. And mucous always coincided with inflamed gums, and by the time the teeth come out, I have already been off wheat and dairy for several days. Teething goes away, mucous goes away, I cautiously return to wheat/dairy to see which is the culprit and she is just fine until the next bout of teething. But her doctor doesn't believe that teething may be the culprit and not ANYthing else! Grrrrr........


----------



## Snowflake777

This isn't one specific event, but something both my mother & MIL do which drives me nuts. They both have a tendency to draw incorrect conclusions based on having witnessed some tiny snapshot of our parenting, without knowing the circumstances surrounding it.

For example, once when DD was a little over a year old, MIL came around for dinner. DD had been hungry earlier, so she'd eaten a big meal shortly before MIL arrived. So, when we sat down to dinner, I just gave her a snack of a few peas and a sippy cup of oatmilk to keep her occupied while the adults were eating. (DD was still BFing tons; the oatmilk was just a rare "treat"/distraction, not a replacement.) I think I may have even mentioned to MIL that DD had already eaten dinner and that this was just a snack.

Sure enough, the next day DH gets a very concerned phone call from his mother saying that I'm not feeding her enough and that she needs to live off more than just a few peas and oatmilk. Yes...because if I give DD a peas and oatmilk one time, then the obvious conclusion is that that's the only thing I ever feed her.







WTH??

This is just one of many similar examples.

My mother's just as bad. I finally asked her whether she needed me to give her a running commentary explaining every single thing I did as a parent, or whether it might just be easier for her to assume that sometimes she doesn't know the whole story, and that I have it under control.


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Snowflake777*
> 
> My mother's just as bad. I finally asked her whether she needed me to give her a running commentary explaining every single thing I did as a parent, or whether it might just be easier for her to assume that sometimes she doesn't know the whole story, and that I have it under control.


Honestly, this is part of the reason I started a blog!!!


----------



## Amatullah0

I don't think I posted this one yet.

DS is now terrified of water when he thinks it might lead to a bath. If he sees water, he will refuse to take off his clothes, and if he sees a bucket, he freaks(bucket of water to put him in or pour water over his head).

SIL said to me today "he needs a bath, but he's terrified of water, I can't figure it out! He likes to play in it"

Well, the way they give him baths is by tearing off his clothes and ambushing him with soap and water. He screams the entire time.

At home, we used to just take a shower together, I would finish, then he would play in the still running shower. I'd soap him up when I got the chance, and he'd rinse himself off. He would stay in the shower while I would take my time getting dressed and doing my hair in the bathroom(sometimes a good 20min)

They(SIL and MIL) aren't allowed to give baths anymore.

(just noticed, the words "they are not" can be combined as "they're not" or "they aren't" maybe we should invent a new word..... they're'nt







)


----------



## Greenlea

My SIL said last night that the foreskin needs to be pulled back a little bit so the hole doesn't close up. Both her kids are circ'ed, she was explaining to me about her nephew.


----------



## ramlita

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Greenlea*
> 
> My SIL said last night that the foreskin needs to be pulled back a little bit so the hole doesn't close up. Both her kids are circ'ed, she was explaining to me about her nephew.


That could be from her own experience- I've read that while a circ (







) is healing, the opening to the urethra CAN close up as the traumatized tissues heal.

Apparently the chemicals in plastic diapers increase the risk of this happening.


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *ramlita*
> 
> That could be from her own experience- I've read that while a circ (
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ) is healing, the opening to the urethra CAN close up as the traumatized tissues heal.
> 
> Apparently the chemicals in plastic diapers increase the risk of this happening.


This is true. It can also readhere funny as it tries to heal. It's a nasty thing.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *hasya*
> 
> Sapphire, that's entirely likely. I suspected an allergy several times but my elimination diet wasn't conclusive. I am off wheat now anyway and she is loads better but her incisors have come out too. So, I am not sure if it was teething or any allergy. I had been eating wheat for several weeks before the mucous began and JUST before teeth poked out. She had a runny nose and mucous in her stools until the day after the incisor came out. But of course, I have been avoiding wheat and dairy (the latter, for the most part), and she's doing fine.
> 
> Thankfully, her folic acid and B12 levels are fine as is her thyroid hormone. So, fingers crossed for it not to be coeliac disease (iron AND those are affected in coeliacs, I read).
> 
> Sorry for hijacking the thread, OP-
> 
> Does anyone know if, if there's an allergy, reactions like mucous begin immediately upon exposure or if it takes time or if both are possible? Teething keeps getting in the way of my elimination diet. And mucous always coincided with inflamed gums, and by the time the teeth come out, I have already been off wheat and dairy for several days. Teething goes away, mucous goes away, I cautiously return to wheat/dairy to see which is the culprit and she is just fine until the next bout of teething. But her doctor doesn't believe that teething may be the culprit and not ANYthing else! Grrrrr........


The allergies could be making the teething worse. They could be combining together into one big horrible experience. Dairy is a notorious one for taking forever (2-6 weeks!) to get out of the system. On the other hand, if the weight gain concerns began right as teething started, that would point more to it being teething related.

My concern is that low iron levels indicate poor absorbtion, which means you're going to want to consider leaky gut issues, and those take more time to heal up.

Is lead a concern at all where you live? If there's any chance, you can get lead testing kits from your local health department.

Also see what happens to her iron levels if you increase your vitamin C intake (and hers to the extent that she's willing to eat those foods).

Of course, the mamas over in the allergy forum know a million times more that I do, this is just the most basic stuff I've happened to pick up over time.


----------



## Pavlovs

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AFWife*
> 
> She may have been joking...but I totally feel ya there. We went to a bday party when DS1 was around 6mo. One of the grandmas came up and asked, "Did Mommy give you some frosting?" Uhm, No... 1) He's 6mo 2)He has a dairy intolerance so *I* didn't even have any frosting. The best part was that when I politely said, "nope" she laughed and said, "Aww, well maybe next time."
> 
> Yeah...


I was *so* going to be the perfect parent with my first child - breastfed, wore baby all the time, yadda yadda. At 6 months old he was diagnosed with diabetes. My husband and I long joked that our son's first solid food was blue frosting. How else are you going to raise a baby's blood sugar when they are going low?


----------



## Amatullah0

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Pavlovs*
> 
> I was *so* going to be the perfect parent with my first child - breastfed, wore baby all the time, yadda yadda. At 6 months old he was diagnosed with diabetes. My husband and I long joked that our son's first solid food was blue frosting. How else are you going to raise a baby's blood sugar when they are going low?


You want an honest answer? there are other high-sugar foods that don't involve food coloring  I think the biggest issue with the frosting is all of the "stuff" in it, not the sugar content itself, though sugar content is a big issue if your kid doesn't need the extra sugar.


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Amatullah0*
> 
> You want an honest answer? there are other high-sugar foods that don't involve food coloring  I think the biggest issue with the frosting is all of the "stuff" in it, not the sugar content itself, though sugar content is a big issue if your kid doesn't need the extra sugar.


There ARE other foods...but in a pinch you do what you have to do. If I had a child that needed a sugar boost NOW and all I had was frosting I'd do it...because babies can't have honey yet!


----------



## Jaxinator

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AFWife*
> 
> There ARE other foods...but in a pinch you do what you have to do. If I had a child that needed a sugar boost NOW and all I had was frosting I'd do it...because babies can't have honey yet!


----------



## Snowflake777

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Pavlovs*
> 
> I was *so* going to be the perfect parent with my first child - breastfed, wore baby all the time, yadda yadda. At 6 months old he was diagnosed with diabetes. My husband and I long joked that our son's first solid food was blue frosting. How else are you going to raise a baby's blood sugar when they are going low?


I'm sure the OP would give her baby frosting if it were medically necessary. It's not really the same thing.


----------



## Amatullah0

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AFWife*
> 
> There ARE other foods...but in a pinch you do what you have to do. If I had a child that needed a sugar boost NOW and all I had was frosting I'd do it...because babies can't have honey yet!


Oh, trust me, I'd do it in a pinch too. I might even do it in not-such-a-pinch. We don't eat super healthy all the time, heck, we don't eat super healthy 80% of the time. I'm NOT one of those only-let-your-kid-eat-organic kind of moms. I also let DS have way more sugar than most of the other kids and I'm not one to say "no sugar" just because he already had one piece of candy today.

I'm not blaming you for anything, if that's how you took it. I believe that, short of the kid showing signs of neglect, that the mom/dad is always right, and knows what is best for their kid.

(and I should mention, there are people who would disagree with you on the honey thing ...and I'm one of them







)


----------



## hjdmom24

Not a remark that was made too me but it was a sad comment. I was wearing my infant son in a wrap at an outdoor event. A woman and her pregnant daughter were standing near me...the mom pointed at me and said " you should get one of those things for your baby" and the daughter said with disgust "I have been carrying it for nine months why the hell would I want to carry it around like that".


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *hjdmom24*
> 
> Not a remark that was made too me but it was a sad comment. I was wearing my infant son in a wrap at an outdoor event. A woman and her pregnant daughter were standing near me...the mom pointed at me and said " you should get one of those things for your baby" and the daughter said with disgust "I have been carrying it for nine months why the hell would I want to carry it around like that".










And just the kind of thing you didn't need to be hearing with postpartum hormones!


----------



## Amatullah0

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *hjdmom24*
> 
> Not a remark that was made too me but it was a sad comment. I was wearing my infant son in a wrap at an outdoor event. A woman and her pregnant daughter were standing near me...the mom pointed at me and said " you should get one of those things for your baby" and the daughter said with disgust "I have been carrying it for nine months why the hell would I want to carry it around like that".


I wonder what she'll name it. Maybe "Thing."

I would love to watch that mom learn how hard it can be when you keep a closed mind about these kinds of things though. I did the carrying a carseat around for a little bit, and it sucked. If I had not decided to wear my baby, or breastfeed, or co-sleep, coupled with the fact that I had to actually take care of my baby on my own while DH was at work(no parents or inlaws or anything to help) AND manage to feed myself and keep a somewhat livable house, and occasionally cook dinner, I can guarantee you I would have gone completely nuts(I was already going a little nuts from lack of sleep and crazy hormones, but if I had to use my arms to hold my baby when he wouldn't stop crying, or had to listen to him cry his heart out, or had to lose out on sleep so I could bottle feed, or go back and forth between rooms all night, I would have lost it completely.

and, I'm not trying to say that if you're going to be a good mommy, you have to do AP stuff. I'm just saying that you have to keep an open mind about stuff. Actually, if we had not fed DS the few bottles that we did(about 1/day, tapering off to 1/wk, then less frequently until he forgot how to use a bottle) I would have gone nuts. There were days that I needed DH to feed a bottle, or that need for DS to sleep without using me as a pacifier(usually painful to me) was greater than my preference to breastfeed. And there were times that I did fall asleep feeding him a bottle, while cosleeping. So I know I wouldn't have been able to handle even half-time bottle feeding.

and I know we're not talking about bottle feeding. I'm just trying to illustrate a point. Keeping my options open meant I got to preserve a little bit of my sanity.


----------



## Snowflake777

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *hjdmom24*
> 
> Not a remark that was made too me but it was a sad comment. I was wearing my infant son in a wrap at an outdoor event. A woman and her pregnant daughter were standing near me...the mom pointed at me and said " you should get one of those things for your baby" and the daughter said with disgust "I have been carrying it for nine months why the hell would I want to carry it around like that".












When DD was a week old, step-MIL told me I shouldn't hold her too much or she'd "get used to it". I told her that I'd been waiting 9 long months to hold her, why would I not want to?


----------



## Ablemec

My father shared some wisdom with me that his mother gave him, which he calls the vacuum theory of parenting. You have a set time that you vacuum your house, and you do it then. If the baby is asleep and it wakes him up, oh well. That way you're raising the baby; the baby isn't raising you. Also, his advice for the number one most important thing in child rearing is to "raise children that other people will like." ?!?

I have 3 sisters and we were all Ferberized as babies - my dad's idea (he actually forced it on my mother). Mind you, I have had issues with debilitating depression in my past (have even attempted suicide). One of my sisters was severely bulim-arexic for years and had to be hospitalized for it. Another sister is an alcoholic and the last sister is a compulsive over-achiever that I'm convinced has OCD (though she's never been diagnosed) and has suffered from milder forms of eating disorder. I'm not saying all these issues are 100% attributable to the Ferberizing, but my father is awfully self-certain for a man with four children with such problems.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Ablemec*
> 
> My father shared some wisdom with me that his mother gave him, which he calls the vacuum theory of parenting. You have a set time that you vacuum your house, and you do it then. If the baby is asleep and it wakes him up, oh well. That way you're raising the baby; the baby isn't raising you. Also, his advice for the number one most important thing in child rearing is to "raise children that other people will like." ?!?
> 
> I have 3 sisters and we were all Ferberized as babies - my dad's idea (he actually forced it on my mother). Mind you, I have had issues with debilitating depression in my past (have even attempted suicide). One of my sisters was severely bulim-arexic for years and had to be hospitalized for it. Another sister is an alcoholic and the last sister is a compulsive over-achiever that I'm convinced has OCD (though she's never been diagnosed) and has suffered from milder forms of eating disorder. I'm not saying all these issues are 100% attributable to the Ferberizing, but my father is awfully self-certain for a man with four children with such problems.


But hey! At least "other people" like you.

I think you're right that the major issues are not 100% attributable to being left to scream, but I think it takes a certain sort of parent to be enthusiastic about letting babies cry and cry and cry and that sort of parent isn't going to be anymore supportive at 5 or 15 than they were at 5 months.


----------



## limabean

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Amatullah0*
> 
> I wonder what she'll name it. Maybe "Thing."


Meh, using "it" doesn't bother me. It gets cumbersome to say "he or she" or "the baby" all the time. I'm sure I said "it" at some point while I was pregnant. Heck, even when parents announce the sex they say, "*It's* a girl!" instead of "The valued human infant is a girl!"


----------



## Ablemec

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan*
> 
> But hey! At least "other people" like you.
> 
> I think you're right that the major issues are not 100% attributable to being left to scream, but I think it takes a certain sort of parent to be enthusiastic about letting babies cry and cry and cry and that sort of parent isn't going to be anymore supportive at 5 or 15 than they were at 5 months.


I also think being raised to think the number one most important thing in the world was what other people thought of us contributed heavily to the need to find an outlet through some form of self-hurting.

And you're right about not being supportive at 5 or 15. After getting my stomach pumped as a teenager for an attempted suicide, father said "I think you're just a melancholy sort of person. You should learn to pull yourself up by yourself or life is only going to get harder." Thanks, dad.


----------



## tillymonster

Oooh I want to play! Sadly, people... my DH said this one... not thinking (he comes from a huge family of formula feeders *sigh*)

We were with friends and talking about how we DON'T want any new neighbors to move into the house next to ours, just being silly. Then my DH blurts out "You should go out there and breastfeed DD!" like that was something super offensive and would stave off annoying new neighbors. Then, luckily, my cousin had the whit to say "Yeah, like that Tori Amos chick, you should go get a pig". Luckily it came from DH because I'd be REAL annoyed from anyone else.


----------



## Smokering

Quote:


> My father shared some wisdom with me that his mother gave him, which he calls the vacuum theory of parenting. You have a set time that you vacuum your house, and you do it then. If the baby is asleep and it wakes him up, oh well.


See, if I had to guess what the "vacuum theory of parenting" was, I'd peg it as "if the noise of the vacuum helps your baby sleep, vacuum the house for two hours; it'll probably be the only housework you have time to do with a newborn anyway".


----------



## Wolfcat

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *hjdmom24*
> 
> Not a remark that was made too me but it was a sad comment. I was wearing my infant son in a wrap at an outdoor event. A woman and her pregnant daughter were standing near me...the mom pointed at me and said " you should get one of those things for your baby" and the daughter said with disgust "I have been carrying it for nine months why the hell would I want to carry it around like that".


One of my coworkers said something similar. Except I mentioned it because she had complained about how heavy he was to carry in the bucket.

I'm not sure if I was more disgusted at the comment, or baffled by how carrying the baby in a bucket seat is somehow less burdensome then the sling.


----------



## Snapdragon

okay- out of context this sounds like no big deal but it really really irked me at the time!!! the comment was- "you need a hat (for your baby)"

background: (rant- just had to get this silly story out somewhere!!!) it has been a rough few wks for me with our living situation- living temporarily in a nice place but it requires tons of driving to get anywhere social. ds is 14 months (almost). it takes 1/2 hour to get to any social place and I have a big anxiety about long drives with the baby. so the other day, it took a ton of work and self confidence for me to overcome my long driving fear (we are moving btw to where I will have to drive much less) and I managed to get ds and I to "town". That was exhausting enough! IT was a pretty sunny day bt not overly hot. I took ds toa play place and we had a great outing! he had a lot of fun. I was walking back to mycar- a short distance, wearing then tired out ds in the babyhawk mei tei. I had two hats in my bag- a cotton cap and a sun hat. ds had been pulling off his hats every time I put them on him. I decided not to put on his hat because I figured a minute of sunshine on is head was probably good for him. I walk out and I am feeling pretty pleased with myself, having successfully done an outing with ds that was really challenging for me. I was feeling lovey dovey with ds and kind of had my hands softly covering his head, sort of keeping the sun out of his eyes. I was also tired and stressed. so this man walks by and sees me with my hand on ds's head and blurts out- you need a hat. and it just pissed me right off. it was the way he said it- like, implying that I was a neglectful parent= when really I had just put everything I had that day into taking top notch care of my baby! It just made me feel so defensive. I know people are random and who knows if he even meant anything by it but it made me angry for him to holler out that I "need" a hat- like- thanks, dude- I never would have considered that, you know more about my baby than I do. I totally over reacted but it was the essence of someone criticizing my parenting when I was making such an effort and it was such a hard day!!


----------



## Snowflake777

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Snapdragon*
> 
> okay- out of context this sounds like no big deal but it really really irked me at the time!!! the comment was- "you need a hat (for your baby)"
> 
> background: (rant- just had to get this silly story out somewhere!!!) it has been a rough few wks for me with our living situation- living temporarily in a nice place but it requires tons of driving to get anywhere social. ds is 14 months (almost). it takes 1/2 hour to get to any social place and I have a big anxiety about long drives with the baby. so the other day, it took a ton of work and self confidence for me to overcome my long driving fear (we are moving btw to where I will have to drive much less) and I managed to get ds and I to "town". That was exhausting enough! IT was a pretty sunny day bt not overly hot. I took ds toa play place and we had a great outing! he had a lot of fun. I was walking back to mycar- a short distance, wearing then tired out ds in the babyhawk mei tei. I had two hats in my bag- a cotton cap and a sun hat. ds had been pulling off his hats every time I put them on him. I decided not to put on his hat because I figured a minute of sunshine on is head was probably good for him. I walk out and I am feeling pretty pleased with myself, having successfully done an outing with ds that was really challenging for me. I was feeling lovey dovey with ds and kind of had my hands softly covering his head, sort of keeping the sun out of his eyes. I was also tired and stressed. so this man walks by and sees me with my hand on ds's head and blurts out- you need a hat. and it just pissed me right off. it was the way he said it- like, implying that I was a neglectful parent= when really I had just put everything I had that day into taking top notch care of my baby! It just made me feel so defensive. I know people are random and who knows if he even meant anything by it but it made me angry for him to holler out that I "need" a hat- like- thanks, dude- I never would have considered that, you know more about my baby than I do. I totally over reacted but it was the essence of someone criticizing my parenting when I was making such an effort and it was such a hard day!!












People are completely nutty with the "Your baby needs a hat/socks/mittens!" thing. It can be the middle of summer, and there will still be some busybody telling you off because they're not wearing 18 layers of clothing.


----------



## ramlita

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Snapdragon*
> 
> okay- out of context this sounds like no big deal but it really really irked me at the time!!! the comment was- "you need a hat (for your baby)"
> 
> background: (rant- just had to get this silly story out somewhere!!!) it has been a rough few wks for me with our living situation- living temporarily in a nice place but it requires tons of driving to get anywhere social. ds is 14 months (almost). it takes 1/2 hour to get to any social place and I have a big anxiety about long drives with the baby. so the other day, it took a ton of work and self confidence for me to overcome my long driving fear (we are moving btw to where I will have to drive much less) and I managed to get ds and I to "town". That was exhausting enough! IT was a pretty sunny day bt not overly hot. I took ds toa play place and we had a great outing! he had a lot of fun. I was walking back to mycar- a short distance, wearing then tired out ds in the babyhawk mei tei. I had two hats in my bag- a cotton cap and a sun hat. ds had been pulling off his hats every time I put them on him. I decided not to put on his hat because I figured a minute of sunshine on is head was probably good for him. I walk out and I am feeling pretty pleased with myself, having successfully done an outing with ds that was really challenging for me. I was feeling lovey dovey with ds and kind of had my hands softly covering his head, sort of keeping the sun out of his eyes. I was also tired and stressed. so this man walks by and sees me with my hand on ds's head and blurts out- you need a hat. and it just pissed me right off. it was the way he said it- like, implying that I was a neglectful parent= when really I had just put everything I had that day into taking top notch care of my baby! It just made me feel so defensive. I know people are random and who knows if he even meant anything by it but it made me angry for him to holler out that I "need" a hat- like- thanks, dude- I never would have considered that, you know more about my baby than I do. I totally over reacted but it was the essence of someone criticizing my parenting when I was making such an effort and it was such a hard day!!


----------



## Pavlovs

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Amatullah0*
> 
> You want an honest answer? there are other high-sugar foods that don't involve food coloring
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I think the biggest issue with the frosting is all of the "stuff" in it, not the sugar content itself, though sugar content is a big issue if your kid doesn't need the extra sugar.


That was actually a rhetorical question, but clearly you don't have an infant with diabetes.


----------



## LiLStar

my understanding (i know very little about diabetes so correct me if i'm wrong!) is that low blood sugar, if low enough, can be a very serious emergency. In that situation where it's necessary to get baby's blood sugar up NOW and looking in the kitchen for the easiest, quickest, thing for a baby not on solids to consume, I can see grabbing frosting if it was right there and easy! I may be able to come up with ideas that are ''better'' but if it's not in your kitchen when you need it, i'm guessing a trip to the store is out of the question. And even if it IS in the house you might not think of it in the moment of stress. (i'm assuming that low blood sugar baby is a stress inducing moment?) so, hey, no judgement from me on the frosting. In the moment, it was medicine. And there's inactive ingredientsa in kids medicine, both rx and otc, just as bad if not worse than wjatever is in the frosting besides the sugar!


----------



## Pavlovs

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *LiLStar*
> 
> my understanding (i know very little about diabetes so correct me if i'm wrong!) is that low blood sugar, if low enough, can be a very serious emergency. In that situation where it's necessary to get baby's blood sugar up NOW and looking in the kitchen for the easiest, quickest, thing for a baby not on solids to consume, I can see grabbing frosting if it was right there and easy! I may be able to come up with ideas that are ''better'' but if it's not in your kitchen when you need it, i'm guessing a trip to the store is out of the question. And even if it IS in the house you might not think of it in the moment of stress. (i'm assuming that low blood sugar baby is a stress inducing moment?) so, hey, no judgement from me on the frosting. In the moment, it was medicine. And there's inactive ingredientsa in kids medicine, both rx and otc, just as bad if not worse than wjatever is in the frosting besides the sugar!


Yup, you've nailed it! Frosting is absorbed through the inside cheek, so even if the baby isn't eating the sugar source, the sugar gets to the blood stream. Not true with much else save an injection of glucagon, something we try to avoid.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Would sugar water be absorbed through the cheek or is there something else about frosting that allows that?


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan*
> 
> Would sugar water be absorbed through the cheek or is there something else about frosting that allows that?


I think it was probably just faster. I'm trying to put myself in the situation and grabbing a finger full of frosting is a quicker fix over pulling out the sugar, getting water, pouring it in, stirring it, etc...

I'm just guessing though...


----------



## crunchy_mommy

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AFWife*
> 
> I think it was probably just faster. I'm trying to put myself in the situation and grabbing a finger full of frosting is a quicker fix over pulling out the sugar, getting water, pouring it in, stirring it, etc...
> 
> I'm just guessing though...


Plus you'd swallow sugar water immediately, but frosting might "stick" in your mouth a bit??? I have no idea, just a guess...


----------



## coldandsleepy

I used to babysit a 2 year old when DS was a bit younger, and we went all over together because that's the way we roll. People would frequently assume that both DS and our friend were my kids, despite the fact that our friend doesn't resemble me even a little. No big deal, except people would then say ALL KINDS of rude things to me.

The very worst? Once I was in a public restroom changing DS while our friend waited impatiently next to the changing table. A lady came out of one of the stalls, looked over at us, and said right to me, "You had them too close together!" in a nasty voice.


----------



## crunchy_mommy

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *coldandsleepy*
> 
> I used to babysit a 2 year old when DS was a bit younger, and we went all over together because that's the way we roll. People would frequently assume that both DS and our friend were my kids, despite the fact that our friend doesn't resemble me even a little. No big deal, except people would then say ALL KINDS of rude things to me.
> 
> The very worst? Once I was in a public restroom changing DS while our friend waited impatiently next to the changing table. A lady came out of one of the stalls, looked over at us, and said right to me, "You had them too close together!" in a nasty voice.


Wow.

Less hurtful but similar... I was playing with DS and my friend's DD while talking to another mom I'd never met. She asked their ages and I told her they were a month apart. She wanders off with her kiddo and then comes back a few minutes later asking, "So how does that work????" I'm like, "Huh?" "How are they a month apart?"







Guess she didn't realize they weren't both mine!! (And they actually do look a bit alike..) She look so totally confused and I could tell she was insanely curious!!!!


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *coldandsleepy*
> 
> I used to babysit a 2 year old when DS was a bit younger, and we went all over together because that's the way we roll. People would frequently assume that both DS and our friend were my kids, despite the fact that our friend doesn't resemble me even a little. No big deal, except people would then say ALL KINDS of rude things to me.
> 
> The very worst? Once I was in a public restroom changing DS while our friend waited impatiently next to the changing table. A lady came out of one of the stalls, looked over at us, and said right to me, "You had them too close together!" in a nasty voice.


"And you're a bleepity bleep, so??" is my first reaction.

My second, and the one I would love to use on a bleepity bleep is "actually Friend isn't my biological child, we adopted her after her parents died. They were my best friends in the world, thank you so very much for reminding me about their deaths. *sob*"


----------



## Interrobang

One of the silliest: "They're going to be midgets if you don't give them *real* milk." And by "real" milk, said person was referring to the hormone-infested, "calcium and vitamin D enhanced" milk they sell in the grocery stores, rather than the whole, raw milk from our own cow, and D from actually going outside, unlike most kids today, LOL.

Also (and from the same person, regarding whole life unschooling): "How are they ever going to function in the *real* world? How are they going to learn motiviation if no one tells them what to do?" As I'm sure you can tell, this person has trouble with basic logic and the definition of her own favourite word, "real."

And the hurtful one, again from the same person, regarding home birth: "Feel free to risk your baby's life, but I'd never want to put my selfish desires for some "hippy, organic birthing experience" ahead of my baby. Babies need to be born in the hospital where there are people who know how to take care of them, not young mother following counterculture fads."

She's a gem, alright!


----------



## treeoflife3

Well you know, if it doesn't have ADDED NUTRIENTS, it can't possibly be healthy so obviously raw milk is like... white water that has nothing except enough fat to kill you after a glass. Obviously.


----------



## mommy212

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Interrobang*
> 
> And the hurtful one, again from the same person, regarding home birth: "Feel free to risk your baby's life, but I'd never want to put my selfish desires for some "hippy, organic birthing experience" ahead of my baby. Babies need to be born in the hospital where there are people who know how to take care of them, not young mother following counterculture fads."
> 
> She's a gem, alright!


I had a reaction much liek this when I timidly suggested home birth to my family. I ended up at a hospital. Gotta love them


----------



## AllisonR

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Interrobang*
> 
> And the hurtful one, again from the same person, regarding home birth: "Feel free to risk your baby's life, but I'd never want to put my selfish desires for some "hippy, organic birthing experience" ahead of my baby. Babies need to be born in the hospital where there are people who know how to take care of them, not young mother following counterculture fads."
> 
> She's a gem, alright!


Wow, got the same speech, almost word for word. I was the most selfish person in the world for wanting to kill my baby. Obviously. Thanks for the kind words dad. I also ended up in the hospital when my home birth turned cesarian.


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AllisonR*
> 
> Wow, got the same speech, almost word for word. I was the most selfish person in the world for wanting to kill my baby. Obviously. Thanks for the kind words dad. I also ended up in the hospital when my home birth turned cesarian.


This might be kind of sad...but my biggest fear about possible transfer wasn't a c/s or anything....it was knowing that I'd get a million "I told you so" comments if I did.


----------



## LiLStar

I DID transfer and had a cesarean with my first. I hated the thought that now all those people I enthusiastically talked about my upcoming home birth with would now get to say, "Homebirth? oh yeah, I know someone who tried to home birth. She ended up having a c-section".. and now thats forever their impression :/ Course, those would be mostly people from my church where I lived at the time that I'm of course no longer in contact with, so I can't tell them about the HBAC of my 10lb 2oz baby. I didn't get any flack for my choice, mostly "wow, you're brave..." so no "I told you so's"

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AFWife*
> 
> This might be kind of sad...but my biggest fear about possible transfer wasn't a c/s or anything....it was knowing that I'd get a million "I told you so" comments if I did.


----------



## sortacrispy

Ok here's mine, it still stings almost a year later...

I was bringing in my three day old son for a heel prick for his severe jaundice. I was holding him as the nurse prepped his heel and she asked me if I was pregnant. I was surprised but I figured she thought I was his Auntie or something, so I told her no I wasn't pregnant, this baby was my son. She then said, "Oh I know he's your son, I just wondered if you were pregnant. You look about 6 months pregnant!"

Uhm-first way to make a 3 day pp woman feel super fat and ugly. And secondly you KNOW the THREE day old I am holding is my baby, and yet you are wondering if I am 6 months pregnant?! Please explain to me how that can possibly work?! And she was a medical professional!


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *sortacrispy*
> 
> Ok here's mine, it still stings almost a year later...
> 
> I was bringing in my three day old son for a heel prick for his severe jaundice. I was holding him as the nurse prepped his heel and she asked me if I was pregnant. I was surprised but I figured she thought I was his Auntie or something, so I told her no I wasn't pregnant, this baby was my son. She then said, "Oh I know he's your son, I just wondered if you were pregnant. You look about 6 months pregnant!"
> 
> Uhm-first way to make a 3 day pp woman feel super fat and ugly. And secondly you KNOW the THREE day old I am holding is my baby, and yet you are wondering if I am 6 months pregnant?! Please explain to me how that can possibly work?! And she was a medical professional!


Oh how I wish you could've had a friend with you to tell that horrible woman to get out and send in someone with a BRAIN. "It is completely unacceptable for you to be so unprofessional and your lack of knowledge about how pregnancy works shows that you don't know enough about babies to be trusted to do a heel prick on a newborn. Do NOT even start with me, go get your supervisor IMMEDIATELY."

Seriously, I'm surprised she didn't prick his ankle instead of his heel or cut his foot off she sounds so stupid.


----------



## ramlita

Wow. We can put that in the dictionary as the definition of THOUGHTLESS.


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *sortacrispy*
> 
> Ok here's mine, it still stings almost a year later...
> 
> I was bringing in my three day old son for a heel prick for his severe jaundice. I was holding him as the nurse prepped his heel and she asked me if I was pregnant. I was surprised but I figured she thought I was his Auntie or something, so I told her no I wasn't pregnant, this baby was my son. She then said, "Oh I know he's your son, I just wondered if you were pregnant. You look about 6 months pregnant!"
> 
> Uhm-first way to make a 3 day pp woman feel super fat and ugly. And secondly you KNOW the THREE day old I am holding is my baby, and yet you are wondering if I am 6 months pregnant?! Please explain to me how that can possibly work?! And she was a medical professional!


Wow. Seriously? Thats one of those, so stupid its hard to believe someone actually SAID that.









FWIW, I looked like I was about 6months pregnant for about 8months. Oh well. Now I'm back to being pretty hot, if I do say so myself.


----------



## AllisonR

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *LiLStar*
> 
> I DID transfer and had a cesarean with my first. I hated the thought that now all those people I enthusiastically talked about my upcoming home birth with would now get to say, "Homebirth? oh yeah, I know someone who tried to home birth. She ended up having a c-section".. and now thats forever their impression :/ Course, those would be mostly people from my church where I lived at the time that I'm of course no longer in contact with, so I can't tell them about the HBAC of my 10lb 2oz baby. I didn't get any flack for my choice, mostly "wow, you're brave..." so no "I told you so's"


I got the I-told-you-so, by the head of staff at the hospital. I had my first as a C-section at the local hospital that was horrendous on so many levels. So I was having a home birth for my second child. Well my second baby end up star-gazing as well (don't know english term for this) and I ended up back in that horrid place for a second c-section. So the head of staff was kind enough to tell me, about 1 hour after DDs "birth" how she just knew I would be back. I guess the point is all women really need to have c-sections, because of course none of them are capable of actually birthing a baby.


----------



## Kelly1101

Whaaaaa? She's a nurse, and she doesn't know 1) how to add, and 2) how long it takes for the body to recover from pregnancy? EVERYONE "looks pregnant" 3 days post-partum. It's not a rubber band.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *sortacrispy*
> 
> Ok here's mine, it still stings almost a year later...
> 
> I was bringing in my three day old son for a heel prick for his severe jaundice. I was holding him as the nurse prepped his heel and she asked me if I was pregnant. I was surprised but I figured she thought I was his Auntie or something, so I told her no I wasn't pregnant, this baby was my son. She then said, "Oh I know he's your son, I just wondered if you were pregnant. You look about 6 months pregnant!"
> 
> Uhm-first way to make a 3 day pp woman feel super fat and ugly. And secondly you KNOW the THREE day old I am holding is my baby, and yet you are wondering if I am 6 months pregnant?! Please explain to me how that can possibly work?! And she was a medical professional!


----------



## Kelly1101

Probably you're talking about "sunny-side-up" or "posterior"-- when the baby's face is facing up towards your stomach, instead of towards your back. (I had one "star-gazing" baby too-- that's an awful labor)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AllisonR*
> 
> I got the I-told-you-so, by the head of staff at the hospital. I had my first as a C-section at the local hospital that was horrendous on so many levels. So I was having a home birth for my second child. Well my second baby end up star-gazing as well (don't know english term for this) and I ended up back in that horrid place for a second c-section. So the head of staff was kind enough to tell me, about 1 hour after DDs "birth" how she just knew I would be back. I guess the point is all women really need to have c-sections, because of course none of them are capable of actually birthing a baby.


----------



## Veronika01

Star-gazing means the baby's head is tilted back, with the forehead presenting. I think it's also called military presentation. The OB told my friend during her second c-section that her baby was in the star-gazing position and his neck would have snapped during a natural birth.


----------



## Greenlea

Over the weekend I went on vacation with my family & extended family. I was in the living room nursing my baby, and as it was bedtime, so I was also expecting him to nurse to bed. He was asleep, but still kind of sucking every once in a while, and I was finishing up my magazine article so I left him a the breast. My uncle comes into the room, and in a rather loud voice says "hes' a sleep, I think you can stop now!" Well gee thanks, he's not asleep any more thanks to you being so damn loud.

This is the third person to tell me to stop nursing my son once he had fallen asleep at the breast. One didn't even have a child, and one was a man. It irks me soooo much when people tell this to me WHILE I'm nursing him. I nurse my baby to sleep quite often actually. I really don't think thats so off-the-wall out-there that I'm doing something wrong. So I really don't know why people feel the need to comment to me while I'm doing it.


----------



## Tonia Starr

well, I know they say allowing a bottlefed baby to drink to sleep could result in tooth decay...maybe they just kind of filed that info away and apply it to nursing as well? I always nursed my kids to sleep. soooo much easier than the nightly crying battles I watched my friends go through.


----------



## mommy212

I was at a get together with my mom and some of her friends, making cookies while my mom held DS (8 months at the time maybe?). I had just finished nursing him about 20 minutes earlier. I was putting the cookie dough on the sheet and when I finished I ate the last bite. One of the women said "You know your baby gets whatever you eat in the milk right? You shouldn't feed your baby cookie dough, it's not safe." I laughed because I thought she was kidding... I know the nutrition comes from our food, but eating a bite of cookie dough is not going to make my DS sick! Not terrible advice or anything, but pretty funny.


----------



## 2lilsweetfoxes

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Tonia Starr*
> 
> well, I know they say allowing a bottlefed baby to drink to sleep could result in tooth decay...maybe they just kind of filed that info away and apply it to nursing as well? I always nursed my kids to sleep. soooo much easier than the nightly crying battles I watched my friends go through.


Glad it worked for you. I believed that and did the same thing--let the baby nurse all night. My son's teeth had to be fixed (read: drilled and capped) to the tune of $12,000 after insurance--only reason we could afford to get it done was being low income, there was a program that forgave what the insurance did not pay. One of the reasons we put his little sister into her crib from day one. Of all my children, she's the only one without dental problems.


----------



## transylvania_mom

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *2lilsweetfoxes*
> 
> Glad it worked for you. I believed that and did the same thing--let the baby nurse all night. My son's teeth had to be fixed (read: drilled and capped) to the tune of $12,000 after insurance--only reason we could afford to get it done was being low income, there was a program that forgave what the insurance did not pay. One of the reasons we put his little sister into her crib from day one. Of all my children, she's the only one without dental problems.


Nursing at night or co-sleeping have nothing to do with dental cavities. I have two kids, dd still nurses at night and co-sleeps. She has no dental problems.

Ds was co-sleeping until 3 y/o, nursing till 4 y/o. He had dental surgery at 18 months.


----------



## treeoflife3

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Greenlea*
> 
> Over the weekend I went on vacation with my family & extended family. I was in the living room nursing my baby, and as it was bedtime, so I was also expecting him to nurse to bed. He was asleep, but still kind of sucking every once in a while, and I was finishing up my magazine article so I left him a the breast. My uncle comes into the room, and in a rather loud voice says "hes' a sleep, I think you can stop now!" Well gee thanks, he's not asleep any more thanks to you being so damn loud.
> 
> This is the third person to tell me to stop nursing my son once he had fallen asleep at the breast. One didn't even have a child, and one was a man. It irks me soooo much when people tell this to me WHILE I'm nursing him. I nurse my baby to sleep quite often actually. I really don't think thats so off-the-wall out-there that I'm doing something wrong. So I really don't know why people feel the need to comment to me while I'm doing it.


after about 6 or 7 months, my kid wouldn't sleep at all unless I nursed her to sleep. She still needs to be nursed to sleep at 26 months... but she sleeps better than my friends kids... heck, she ASKS to go to bed and happily runs to her room and sleeps through the night nine times out of ten assuming she didn't go to sleep hungry which she does with regularity as a reaction to daddy being deployed... and even the nights she won't eat she only wakes up once and goes right back to sleep after a couple minutes of nursing... nothing compared to the hours long bedtime fights and hours long middle of the night sleep fights some kids have... of course, there are a myriad of reasons for that... but my nursing my kiddo to sleep isn't hurting her!

She also has zero teeth issues... but we don't have many teeth issues in my family period. We must just not have much of the bacteria that causes cavities and good stuff in our saliva to fight what we do have. I gone through periods of awful mouth hygiene and I've still never had a cavity.


----------



## Comtessa

A young mom I knew, when my DD was a newborn, said to me that the "best parenting advice she'd ever gotten" for her DS was from her pediatrician: "if you can't take the crying anymore and need a break, it's ok to strap him into his car seat, leave the room and shut the door -- he's perfectly safe."


----------



## HeliMom

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Comtessa*
> 
> A young mom I knew, when my DD was a newborn, said to me that the "best parenting advice she'd ever gotten" for her DS was from her pediatrician: "if you can't take the crying anymore and need a break, it's ok to strap him into his car seat, leave the room and shut the door -- he's perfectly safe."


Honestly that is pretty good advice. If you are at a breaking point, you have tried for hours to calm your child and are getting to that point where you are starting to feel angry/ resentful of the baby walking away is the right thing to do. I'm glad you've never been there where the desperation of trying to help turns to frustration to anger, but it does happen. Better a baby strapped in a carseat in the other room while mom or dad calms down than a shaken baby. Honestly I think it's preferable to even yelling at the baby in frustration. It would be nice if we could all recenter ourselves without walking away, but I think that is a very hard skill to master. Not everyone has someone else availible to pass off the baby to when these feelings overwhelm them.


----------



## aurora_skys

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *HeliMom*
> 
> Honestly that is pretty good advice. If you are at a breaking point, you have tried for hours to calm your child and are getting to that point where you are starting to feel angry/ resentful of the baby walking away is the right thing to do. I'm glad you've never been there where the desperation of trying to help turns to frustration to anger, but it does happen. Better a baby strapped in a carseat in the other room while mom or dad calms down than a shaken baby. Honestly I think it's preferable to even yelling at the baby in frustration. It would be nice if we could all recenter ourselves without walking away, but I think that is a very hard skill to master. Not everyone has someone else availible to pass off the baby to when these feelings overwhelm them.


Disagree. Carseats are not safe outside of the car, babies have strangled to death in exactly this situation. I know how angry moms can get, I've been there, but setting the baby in his crib or pack n play is infinitely safer than a loose carseat.


----------



## Kelly1101

Yeah... I'd say a crib or play pen or some other safe area would be MUCH better.

I'm pretty sure I saw a news story on here somewhere when a baby had been shut up like that in a carseat in a room, and asphyxiated.


----------



## Stephenie

I am sure the doctor meant for a few minutes to compose yourself. Not hours... I saw a news story once about a baby that died left in the carseat, but he or she was left for days. 

A crib/ pack and play etc would be better, though. And I do think walking away is much preferable to screaming at the baby (or worse!)


----------



## HeliMom

And putting a baby who is inconsolable into someones arms is preferable to a crib or pack n play. Children have suffocated in cribs too, even though they are safer than a carseat.The point I was trying to make wasn't that car seats are great places to store your baby, but that telling a parent if they are losing their cool to put baby down and walk away is not a dumb thing. Not everyone has access to ideal situations, so for some people it might be put baby on floor and walk away. And anyway, if your child is wailing till your breaking point you'd still hear them crying even with the door shut. If we are concerned about suffocation risk then add"and check on the baby immdeately when the crying stops" to the advice.


----------



## Greenlea

I've always heard that nursing is GOOD for kids' teeth; I don't see why nursing would cause teeth rot. Besides, my son doesn't even have teeth yet.


----------



## Rainey Daye

I had a hard time the first few months (maybe even a bit of PPD) and there were times I was frustrated and it was the best thing to put the baby down in his bed and then go out of the room and have a good cry on the couch. Even nowadays, when the little guy is having a crazy howling fit (I think the terrible two's are starting a bit early), he knows that when Mama picks him up and carries him to his bed...that he had better stay there till he has calmed down...and then I go sit and calm down too on the couch. A bit of separation can be a very good thing when it starts to be too much...much better than yelling, spanking, or shaking...so when I feel myself start to lose patience then we both get a "time out" to calm down.

But I wouldn't strap a baby into a car seat for that. A crib or pack and play are much better contained and safer than a car seat for in the house.


----------



## minkajane

Can't let the epicness of this thread die!

I don't have anything major to share, mostly just a bump, but I did get a good laugh out of my coworker. She found out I have a 4 month old DD and started gushing about how I HAD to put her in pageants! Then the next day she found out I bought her this onesie and some cute headbands and said, "Well I hope you put the headbands on her since you force her to wear boy clothes!"


----------



## erigeron

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *sortacrispy*
> 
> Ok here's mine, it still stings almost a year later...
> 
> I was bringing in my three day old son for a heel prick for his severe jaundice. I was holding him as the nurse prepped his heel and she asked me if I was pregnant. I was surprised but I figured she thought I was his Auntie or something, so I told her no I wasn't pregnant, this baby was my son. She then said, "Oh I know he's your son, I just wondered if you were pregnant. You look about 6 months pregnant!"
> 
> Uhm-first way to make a 3 day pp woman feel super fat and ugly. And secondly you KNOW the THREE day old I am holding is my baby, and yet you are wondering if I am 6 months pregnant?! Please explain to me how that can possibly work?! And she was a medical professional!


Small one had some X-rays when she was 3 days old and the technicians wanted my husband and me to hold her down on the table during the procedure. So they were getting us all gowned up with the lead shields, and one of them asked me right before she left to go to the next room if I could be pregnant. Then she kind of got this look on her face like "Wow, I really wasn't thinking when I asked that" and left without waiting for my answer.


----------



## hasya

The second one sounds like a reasonable mistake to make, esp. as the tech realized the folly of the question immediately. But the one that was quoted on here? What an idiot!

A cousin told her mother that I had put on weight. When I sent a picture at under 2 months PP.

A colleague told me that I was looking great but not to put on any more weight. This was about 30 weeks pg...


----------



## erigeron

Yeah, I just thought it was pretty entertaining in my case... but that idiot the other poster dealt with is just beyond.


----------



## jenrose

Doozies....

After DD1's birth, we wanted to give her a Leboyer bath. One nurse kept saying, "You can't give her a bath! She'll drown, because the cord's been cut!"

I finally said, "We're not going to stick her head underwater, and the cord is clamped!"

She blinked and said, "You're not?"

*headdesk*

A nurse: "Breastmilk doesn't have any nutrition after 6 months."

Because what, a magic light comes on that says, "Too old!" and my breasts which put 14 pounds of growth on my baby in 6 months are suddenly going to produce water out of spite?

A doctor: "90% safety isn't good enough. You need to birth in the hospital."

Me: "You can't promise 100% safety to anyone. I could miscarry tomorrow and you couldn't do a thing to stop it." Sadly, I did miscarry a couple days later. And no, they couldn't do a thing to stop it. Nevertheless, my next child was born at home.

A friend, on being told that every time I try to exercise, I get ill, because of my adrenal issues. "Are you sure it isn't a psychological problem?"

Dude, I love exercising. I do not love exercising, gaining muscle mass, then coming down so ill that I end up losing more than I gained because I can't get out of bed for a week.

"Morning sickness is caused by ambivalence about the pregnancy."

I'm fairly certain that for me, it's the other way around. Morning sickness is so brutal that it makes me reluctant to get pregnant, but trust me, I've wanted every one of my babies.

"Difficult births are caused by psychological blockage and a lack of faith in the process."

I was 100% convinced that I could have a wonderful, peaceful birth with my second child. Her 14.5 inch head with craniosynostosis hurt like a mofo to birth, and was NOT caused by any psychological issue on my part, but by a chromosome issue on her part. It's absolutely epic that I managed to give birth to her at home, vaginally, and I dilated to freakin' 12. The fact that it hurt was because my bones were separating to let her out. Not because I didn't prepare mentally for the birth. No one could prepare mentally for that birth. NO ONE.

"If you don't make your baby sleep in her own room/wean/cry it out, she'll never figure out how to do it on her own."

That's funny, I let my now-18-year-old nurse to age 6, cosleep to age 4 1/2, and funny, by the time she was 8 years old she was capable of not only sleeping through the night without my help, but of packing her own lunch, getting her own breakfast, walking to school, doing her own laundry, and making dinner with minimal supervision.

"If you don't get her used to bedtime as a baby, you'll have to fight with her about it forever."

You know why my kids didn't fight about bedtime when they started school? Because getting up at 7 am to get to school on time meant they were TIRED at bedtime. When an outside pressure demands a schedule, the schedule happens naturally.

"Using sign language with your kids means that you aren't really in touch with them. If you were more connected, you'd always know what they wanted."

My kid had a hearing issue as a baby. Sign language helped her develop the part of her brain that processes language. And with her chromosome issue, developing language is NOT a given. So I prefer to give my kid every chance she can get to learn how to talk to people who aren't "so connected to her that they know telepathically what she wants."


----------



## jenrose

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Snapdragon*
> 
> okay- out of context this sounds like no big deal but it really really irked me at the time!!! the comment was- "you need a hat (for your baby)"
> 
> background: (rant- just had to get this silly story out somewhere!!!) it has been a rough few wks for me with our living situation- living temporarily in a nice place but it requires tons of driving to get anywhere social. ds is 14 months (almost). it takes 1/2 hour to get to any social place and I have a big anxiety about long drives with the baby. so the other day, it took a ton of work and self confidence for me to overcome my long driving fear (we are moving btw to where I will have to drive much less) and I managed to get ds and I to "town". That was exhausting enough! IT was a pretty sunny day bt not overly hot. I took ds toa play place and we had a great outing! he had a lot of fun. I was walking back to mycar- a short distance, wearing then tired out ds in the babyhawk mei tei. I had two hats in my bag- a cotton cap and a sun hat. ds had been pulling off his hats every time I put them on him. I decided not to put on his hat because I figured a minute of sunshine on is head was probably good for him. I walk out and I am feeling pretty pleased with myself, having successfully done an outing with ds that was really challenging for me. I was feeling lovey dovey with ds and kind of had my hands softly covering his head, sort of keeping the sun out of his eyes. I was also tired and stressed. so this man walks by and sees me with my hand on ds's head and blurts out- you need a hat. and it just pissed me right off. it was the way he said it- like, implying that I was a neglectful parent= when really I had just put everything I had that day into taking top notch care of my baby! It just made me feel so defensive. I know people are random and who knows if he even meant anything by it but it made me angry for him to holler out that I "need" a hat- like- thanks, dude- I never would have considered that, you know more about my baby than I do. I totally over reacted but it was the essence of someone criticizing my parenting when I was making such an effort and it was such a hard day!!


Oh god. I had a woman come up to me in the store and GRAB MY CHILD'S BARE FEET while she was on my back in a mei tai and say, "Oh your feet must be freezing! She needs shoes, Mommy!"

I smiled and said, "if you'd like to follow us around and put her shoes back on every time she throws them on the ground, you're welcome to do so."


----------



## Smokering

Quote:


> It's absolutely epic that I managed to give birth to her at home, vaginally, and I dilated to freakin' 12.


Dude. Kudos.

I'm sad to say I got the "are you pregnant?" comment for the first time this week.  From a dead-eyed checkout girl at K-Mart. She awoke briefly out of her comatose state to say "Cute baby, how old is he?" "Three months." "And you're pregnant again?" "No." Whereupon she retreated hastily back into her glassy-eyed shell, and I politely grabbed my bag, said "Thanks" - not even ironically - and left. I thought of a bunch of snide things to say later, though. 

The upshot? I've given up sugar for a month, and did a bunch of enthusiastic but clueless exercise yesterday on our mini-trampoline. And today my back is in agony and I can barely move. Which I suppose isn't strictly the checkout girl's fault...


----------



## Alphaghetti

Ugh...so sorry! After I miscarried my son at 19 weeks along, the OBseemed confused by my devastation and told me that it "really isn't a big deal. I see this all the time". Some real charmers out there, huh?

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *fyrwmn*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *kriket*
> paaleeese..... What a crock. I know you know that you didn't cause that. But I wanted to say it
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> My DS was born with a hernia (not even the same class I know but work with me, it's a story) come to find out if it was anyone's "fault" it was his father's as they had matching hernias for a while!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> (DS's has since closed) My dad asked me what *I* had done while I was PG. I told him after I was done eating paint chips and skydiving I rolled around in used hypodermic needles.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> (or something like that it was a long time ago)
> 
> one of the charming dr's we saw while trying to have baby #2 (and going thru all our losses) actually told me after the 3rd miscarriage that it was my fault because i was still nursing my then 2 yr old. i couldn't believe that because they didn't know what caused it she woul dstoop to blaming me. we RAN from that practice after that!!!


----------



## Smokering

Quote:


> Ugh...so sorry! After I miscarried my son at 19 weeks along, the OBseemed confused by my devastation and told me that it "really isn't a big deal. I see this all the time". Some real charmers out there, huh?


Horrible.  I've found a lot of people just don't get the miscarriage thing - I remember once, in a debate online, someone insisted that "nobody really believes fetuses are babies, because women who have miscarriages don't get upset". He wasn't kidding. I told him to go visit a few pregnancy loss boards and see how many women name their babies, celebrate their birthdays, mourn for years, etc. But I've since heard a similar sentiment in several places - along with the charming "At least it means you're fertile", as if women should just treat the miscarriage like a beta-test for the "real" pregnancy.

Mind you, you'd think someone who went into obstetrics would be less clueless. That's like an oncologist saying "Pssht, I see cancer patients all the time, I don't know what you're complaining about". Bizarre.

I have a friend who's still convinced I caused my pre-eclampsia with DD by painting the nursery while pregnant. Not sure how she figures that, but yes, the blame game sucks.


----------



## aurora_skys

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Smokering*
> 
> Mind you, you'd think someone who went into obstetrics would be less clueless. That's like an oncologist saying "Pssht, I see cancer patients all the time, I don't know what you're complaining about". Bizarre.


I think that denial of the emotional side of obstetrics is extremely common. Oncologists seem to undergo some sympathy training but obs seem bent on ignoring the emotional aspect of their field!


----------



## tooraloora

Today I was informed that it is my fault that my DS isn't talking yet because I've always responded to his needs, and that I should stop responding to him immediately or he'll never have any reason to talk.


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *jenrose*
> 
> "If you don't get her used to bedtime as a baby, you'll have to fight with her about it forever."
> 
> You know why my kids didn't fight about bedtime when they started school? Because getting up at 7 am to get to school on time meant they were TIRED at bedtime. When an outside pressure demands a schedule, the schedule happens naturally.


This may be true with your kids, but man, my ds HATES going to bed. We had to do lots of work to get him into a bedtime routine, and now he goes to bed pretty easily, but we have to follow the routine exactly otherwise he doesn't fall asleep.


----------



## bcblondie

My BIL said I shouldn't homeschool because teasing is good for kids. They need to get teased in school so that they're prepared for the real world. I guess I better start teasing my 2 year old now, so he's ready for school!!

My MIL said I shouldn't homeschool because schools and churches are always teh first things established in a city, because they are needed. We've been doing it so long it's proof the system is working. And I'm going to want some time alone during the day. (True, but I really don't need 6 hours! A girls night every other week is plenty for me. I love being around my son. I don't know why that's so hard to believe.)

She also threw in there that back in teh day, women didn't have TIME to teach their kids everything, if they had a farm and no washing machine, etc, so that's why they sent them to school. Not sure what that has to do with me. I have plenty of time. (Pretty sure she's just defensive of her own choices and feels threatened by mine.)

She ALSO decided that homeschooling was likely to cause my marriage to fail, due to the stresses of getting everything done, and having no time for eachother... Right, because our alternative (very expensive private school) would not be hard on a marriage at all.


----------



## Smokering

Quote:


> My BIL said I shouldn't homeschool because teasing is good for kids. They need to get teased in school so that they're prepared for the real world. I guess I better start teasing my 2 year old now, so he's ready for school!!


Sadly, he's not alone. That's, like, one of the top five arguments against homeschooling, along with "how will they socialise?" and "but how could you possibly know as much as a TEACHER?". Get used to it.  (No, really. Memorise a comeback. You'll be hearing it again.)

Also, I have yet to meet a single person who thought being teased/bullied at school was good for her and prepared her for the real world. I know a few who were messed up by it, though; including my husband, who is very on-board with me homeschooling DD.


----------



## KempsMama

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Smokering*
> 
> Sadly, he's not alone. That's, like, one of the top five arguments against homeschooling, along with "how will they socialise?" and "but how could you possibly know as much as a TEACHER?". Get used to it.  (No, really. Memorise a comeback. You'll be hearing it again.)
> 
> Also, I have yet to meet a single person who thought being teased/bullied at school was good for her and prepared her for the real world. I know a few who were messed up by it, though; including my husband, who is very on-board with me homeschooling DD.


I often wonder if the people who think this were the teas-ers in school. I don't know anyone who was teased that sees it as a benefit.


----------



## hasya

I agree about teasing. But I think that teasing at home, between siblings is good, if they know the limits. I have some fond memories of being teased and laugh over them. In school? Not so much. I remember all the nasty comments making fun of me for writing with a short pencil for example. How is that good for anyone? And isn't teasing according to some people supposed to teach life's lessons? What's the lesson here? To toss things out before they're used up?


----------



## Mummoth

I didn't get this one, DH did. Someone made a comment about him being a dad for real when our baby is born. He replied with "I've been a dad for two years." and they said this one will be different because it's his own flesh and blood. He said he hasn't had the experience straight from babyhood, but his kids are his kids, flesh and blood or not. The person actually tried to debate it with him! This happened last weekend at his mothers memorial service. And he's never met his own birth father, he was raised by his mom and step-dad.


----------



## limabean

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Mummoth*
> 
> I didn't get this one, DH did. Someone made a comment about him being a dad for real when our baby is born. He replied with "I've been a dad for two years." and they said this one will be different because it's his own flesh and blood. He said he hasn't had the experience straight from babyhood, but his kids are his kids, flesh and blood or not. The person actually tried to debate it with him! *This happened last weekend at his mothers memorial service.* And he's never met his own birth father, he was raised by his mom and step-dad.


Saying that is bad enough, but the bolded makes it soooo much worse!!! What the hell is wrong with people?? I remember at my mom's sister's memorial service, someone came up to her and said, "I wonder how Sally is doing -- you remember, her sister died 10 years ago, I bet this is bringing all that back for her." My mom just stared at her and then walked away.


----------



## minkajane

I had a couple of gems today. First the WIC nutritionist ranted about the importance of paddling kids and how some kids don't respond to anything else but paddling. Cuz paddling and hitting aren't the same thing donchaknow.

Then a coworker heard that DD was 5 months old and getting just breastmilk with no rice cereal and then proceeded to lecture me that breastmilk wasn't enough for her, that she needed cereal. I said that according to every single medical organization in the world, breastmilk is plenty. All she did was huff and give me a look that said that those medical organizations were stupid to say that.

Finally, another coworker was talking about switching her 10mo forward-facing. I told her it was illegal and mentioned extended rear-facing. Here's how the conversation went:

Her: But his feet will get squished!

Me: DS rear-faced till he was almost 2. They just bend their knees.

Her: TWO YEARS??!?!?! That's too old!

Me: Why?

Her: His legs will be squished.

Me: They just bend them. You bend your legs when you sit in the car, right?

Her: But he can't stretch his legs out and they'll get stiff.

Me: My legs get a bit stiff in the car and they're fine after I stand for a sec. AAP recommends rear-facing for two years.

Her: Two years! That's too old.

Me: What's better, stiff legs and a safe baby or straightened legs and a baby hurt in a wreck? Kids really don't get uncomfortable bending their legs in the car.

Her: That's too old!

Me: Why?

Her: Two years! That's too old! His legs will get squished!

I gave up at that point because we were just going around in circles.


----------



## Kelly1101

Paddling? As in hitting them WITH A PADDLE? Is that even still legal? I would straight-up report that, to her supervisor. Even if it is legal, it's in no way in the scope of her job to say things like that. Make some kind of report. Really.

I would laugh about the FF 10 month old except... wtf.... just wtf. I've only had one rear-facing convo, on FB, when someone said that they couldn't wait until their huge baby was "old enough" to FF. Someone else I don't know actually chimed in about RF to 2 years. My friend was like "wtf, my big kids wouldn't even fit at 2 years." At that point I said how Em rear-faced to 2.5, that actually crossing their legs was more comfortable than just having their legs dangle and not being able to rest them on anything, and that really outgrowing rearfacing was usually a matter of height of torso (head reaching limit of seat) rather than how long their legs were or how much they weigh. She was like "well, I just hope they don't make that the law."

*sigh*

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *minkajane*
> 
> I had a couple of gems today. First the WIC nutritionist ranted about the importance of paddling kids and how some kids don't respond to anything else but paddling. Cuz paddling and hitting aren't the same thing donchaknow.
> 
> Then a coworker heard that DD was 5 months old and getting just breastmilk with no rice cereal and then proceeded to lecture me that breastmilk wasn't enough for her, that she needed cereal. I said that according to every single medical organization in the world, breastmilk is plenty. All she did was huff and give me a look that said that those medical organizations were stupid to say that.
> 
> Finally, another coworker was talking about switching her 10mo forward-facing. I told her it was illegal and mentioned extended rear-facing. Here's how the conversation went:
> 
> Her: But his feet will get squished!
> 
> Me: DS rear-faced till he was almost 2. They just bend their knees.
> 
> Her: TWO YEARS??!?!?! That's too old!
> 
> Me: Why?
> 
> Her: His legs will be squished.
> 
> Me: They just bend them. You bend your legs when you sit in the car, right?
> 
> Her: But he can't stretch his legs out and they'll get stiff.
> 
> Me: My legs get a bit stiff in the car and they're fine after I stand for a sec. AAP recommends rear-facing for two years.
> 
> Her: Two years! That's too old.
> 
> Me: What's better, stiff legs and a safe baby or straightened legs and a baby hurt in a wreck? Kids really don't get uncomfortable bending their legs in the car.
> 
> Her: That's too old!
> 
> Me: Why?
> 
> Her: Two years! That's too old! His legs will get squished!
> 
> I gave up at that point because we were just going around in circles.


----------



## Snowflake777

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *minkajane*
> 
> *snip*
> 
> Her: But his feet will get squished!
> 
> Me: DS rear-faced till he was almost 2. They just bend their knees.
> 
> Her: TWO YEARS??!?!?! That's too old!
> 
> Me: Why?
> 
> Her: His legs will be squished.
> 
> Me: They just bend them. You bend your legs when you sit in the car, right?
> 
> Her: But he can't stretch his legs out and they'll get stiff.
> 
> Me: My legs get a bit stiff in the car and they're fine after I stand for a sec. AAP recommends rear-facing for two years.
> 
> Her: Two years! That's too old.
> 
> Me: What's better, stiff legs and a safe baby or straightened legs and a baby hurt in a wreck? Kids really don't get uncomfortable bending their legs in the car.
> 
> Her: That's too old!
> 
> Me: Why?
> 
> Her: Two years! That's too old! His legs will get squished!
> 
> I gave up at that point because we were just going around in circles.


I've had this exact conversation with both my DH and my mother.

Which reminds me of another recent conversation I had with DH:

DH: My father said he has an old booster car seat from when SIL & BIL were kids. He was asking if DD could use it. [Note: SIL & BIL are 24 & 29, meaning that the seat must be roughly 25 years old!]

Me:







Uhh...are you seriously asking me whether our 3 year old can ride in a car seat that's nearly as old as I am??

DH: Well yeah, not all the time obviously, but it would be convenient to have it for occasional use so that we don't have to lug the big seat around.

Me: She's too young for a booster seat, and even if she wasn't there is no way in a million trillion years that I would let her travel in an antique car seat.

DH: I think you're overreacting, but ok then.

A while later, he's talking to his dad on the phone about the seat and I hear him saying: "Yeah, we appreciate the offer but she's just still too young to use it...". Yeah, because her being too young is the only issue here. I'll totally be down with it when she's a little older.


----------



## jenrose

Legs are very bendy and get better fast if they get broken. Necks, not so much. Plus, kids are MORE likely to break their legs in a crash forward facing.

90% less chance of serious injury or death was what persuaded me on rear facing as long as possible. That and the lovely phrase, "Internal decapitation".

And any WIC employee advocating corporal punishment should not be working for WIC, period. They're mandatory reporters for god's sake! And a nutritionist? Dude, parenting is not your area of expertise. FEEDING is.


----------



## minkajane

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *jenrose*
> 
> And any WIC employee advocating corporal punishment should not be working for WIC, period. They're mandatory reporters for god's sake! And a nutritionist? Dude, parenting is not your area of expertise. FEEDING is.


She also went on and on about how she doesn't believe that breastfeeding has ANY effect on allergies at all because she's seen a bunch of kids that were breastfed and are allergic to lots of stuff.


----------



## Kelly1101

I'm not a report-happy person, but I so would report that to a supervisor. She's telling young impressionable moms these things.


----------



## jenrose

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *minkajane*
> 
> She also went on and on about how she doesn't believe that breastfeeding has ANY effect on allergies at all because she's seen a bunch of kids that were breastfed and are allergic to lots of stuff.


Yes, because we all know that every issue can be traced back to just ONE cause. *headdesk*

There are multiple factors that influence development of allergies. Genetics. Environment. Place and mode of birth. Diet.

She's an idiot. And probably not even a good nutritionist, if that's her line.

I have two breastfed kids. Once of them has a dad who has allergies too, and was born in a hospital where the first thing they did was shove a tube down to her lungs, thus likely colonizing her with hospital bacteria. She has several allergies.

My younger daughter has a chromosome disorder and a sensitivity to citric acid caused by the chromosome disorder, but she was born at home, not messed with, and isn't allergic to anything. Also, her dad has no allergies.

What the WIC lady does not appear to comprehend is that the plural of anecdotes is NOT data. Neither of my kids' stories "proves" either that breastfeeding does contribute or does not contribute to allergies.

But I can tell you for sure that both of them did a hell of a lot better having the option of breastmilk.


----------



## caetlinh

hilarious thread btw...

I guess my favorite two are first when the woman on the hiking trail stopped me and pulled me to the side to inform me that my baby couldn't breath because she was in the front carrier with the snapped hood on. And the second would be from my MIL who insisted DH and I were holding DD too much when she just 3 weeks old, and then promptly started to tell us of a story when DH was that age and he was so quiet and never needed to be picked up that she forgot him at home and went to the hair solon! She was gone for over 2 hrs before she remembered him -niiiiice. Thanks GMA.


----------



## mamapigeon

When DS was a couple months old, I was saying I hoped he wouldn't bite me (when nursing) when he got teeth and MIL told me if he did, to just pinch his nose shut for a minute or so and he'd "learn his lesson". Crazy me, I like to give him something else to chew when he bites.


----------



## minkajane

Today my coworker was showing me the floor plan of the new apartment she just got. She chose the only layout that had the bedrooms separated by the living room. She said it was her favorite layout because she didn't have to listen to the crying. I said I didn't do CIO. She responded proudly, "Oh, I do! I just don't want to have to listen to the crying, so I want him as far away as possible."







Her little one is 10 months old.


----------



## ramlita

Funny how when a doctor (or WIC nurse) tells us they've seen so many _________ ,

they present it as rock-solid evidence to support their infallible opinion,

but when offer up our own experience, it's immediately dismissed as worthless "anecdotal evidence."


----------



## IzzyTheTerrible

Keeping in mind that I'm fostering my almost 9 month old nephew, and we've had him for almost 2 months.

He gets very frustrated with spoon feeding and does VERY well with self feeding, so we decided to switch to mostly BLW. My Aunt, who was dead set on my husband and I adopting him, now thinks that I'm a terrible mom because I give him a spoon to "play" (um, practice) with when feeding him things like oatmeal and yogurt - because "they should learn that spoons are tools not toys."

Now, I have never had any children of my own, or been around them, but last I checked... to baby, EVERYTHING is a toy and that's how they learn to interact with the world.

The other is when she was upset becuase I "let him play with his food." Aparently, when he pushes the food off his tray when he tries to pick it up, or when he squeeze his banana too hard and it squishes between his fingers = playing with food. Also, aren't babies supposed to explore?

Pfft.


----------



## Smokering

Pfft indeed. Sounds like you have a great attitude to baby-feeding! Anyway, my successful careery friend was over here the other day for dinner and hung a spoon from her nose, so this "spoons aren't toys" attitude just seems narrow-minded to me.


----------



## captain optimism

Whoa. That is some stringent parenting philosophy, not to let the baby play with the spoon! I don't think I've ever encountered someone with that joyless an attitude toward babies before.

I think if you're taking care of a baby like that, he counts as your own, even if you don't wind up adopting him. He's your own nephew, and your own little sweetheart, and just--your own.







It sounds like you're great at this--look at how much you notice about him and care about how he feels. I don't think you get to say you don't have children of your own anymore, sweetie.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *IzzyTheTerrible*
> 
> Keeping in mind that I'm fostering my almost 9 month old nephew, and we've had him for almost 2 months.
> 
> He gets very frustrated with spoon feeding and does VERY well with self feeding, so we decided to switch to mostly BLW. My Aunt, who was dead set on my husband and I adopting him, now thinks that I'm a terrible mom because I give him a spoon to "play" (um, practice) with when feeding him things like oatmeal and yogurt - because "they should learn that spoons are tools not toys."
> 
> Now, I have never had any children of my own, or been around them, but last I checked... to baby, EVERYTHING is a toy and that's how they learn to interact with the world.
> 
> The other is when she was upset becuase I "let him play with his food." Aparently, when he pushes the food off his tray when he tries to pick it up, or when he squeeze his banana too hard and it squishes between his fingers = playing with food. Also, aren't babies supposed to explore?
> 
> Pfft.


----------



## biophdmom

In a conversation with my friend who has a daughter about the same age as mine (hers just turned 4 and mine is about to turn 4), she was talking about how her dd is not coloring as nicely (i.e. in the lines) as she was a few months ago and how it really bothers her because she thinks her dd is just being sloppy. There have been a couple things going on with them that may have been stressing out her dd, like her traveling a bit for work and her dd changing schools about a month ago, so we talked about the possibility of her dd being a little stressed and it reflecting in her drawing. Then, I mentioned that mine sometimes colors "sloppy" for certain things and how she calls it "scribble-scrabbling" and tells me "sometimes its okay to scribble scrabble" , so maybe her dd has a reason for doing it (and, for the record, while I'm proud of my dd's ability to color in the lines, really stress to her that she can color however she wants and that she should make the picture look however she wants it to). So my friend then went on to say how it happened again last night and it bothered her so much, she was totally shouting at her dd and told her she was going to take away all her crayons and coloring books if she didn't start coloring better







. I'm sort of horrified by this and I really don't know what to say when she talks about it...


----------



## Mummoth

Whoa. Step away from the crayons, lady. It's COLOURING... if it's not fun, what's the point? Does the kid get in trouble for doing an orange sky and a purple dog? Did Picasso's mom yell at him because the eyes weren't the same size or the nose was on sideways? *headdesk*


----------



## silversparrow

This story reminds me of something funny my little sister said when she was three. We lived in a small all-white town (except maybe 2 or 3 people) and she had never seen a dark skinned person, but had a dark-skinned doll named Suzie. She was visiting an aunt and saw a dark-skinned porcelain doll on a shelf and said "Can I bring Suzie over to play with her?" We were never quite sure how to respond to that...

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *Stephenie*
> "Why does she (my white dd) have a black baby doll?" Me: "Because babies come in all colors...."
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> OH, I got something very similar when I got my DS an Asian girl baby doll. I got the typical "why does a boy need a baby doll???" and then a really strange "were there no WHITE baby dolls?" I said no, that DS wanted the Asian girl, so that's what he got. Was then told that I should exercise my authority as a parent to "prevent THAT from ever happening again."
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Prevent what from happening again - my son making his own choices and learning a teeny bit about diversity in the process????


that aside... my FIL came to visit for a few days and, after learning that the baby (7 mo) spends most of the night in our bed, gets DH alone and says "are you sure it's safe for (DS) to being sleeping in your bed?"

To which DH responds, "how about I raise my kid my way?" and FIL backs off.

I know it wasn't a totally ridiculous questions, just uninformed, but I was really proud of DH for setting the precedent of mind your own business!


----------



## Amatullah0

Even I don't color in the lines all the time. Coloring perfectly in the lines can be stressful, especially if you're already stressed. Most of the time when I'm coloring with DS, I scribble all over everywhere. I make a collage of colored scribbles. It's cathartic!


----------



## MommatoGray

People are so crazy!! I have had the usual head-to-head with my MIL, complaining that I didn't use a soother, because she wanted to be able to sooth him. Sorry he wants Mamas milk! Ahhh another reason to love BF!

One of the dumbest comments came from my SIL after DS was born. I do love her, but she showed her age that day! I was in the room with our doula and DH and I can here that SIL arrives. DH says to wait cause I was trying to "learn" how to nurse. While she is waiting she starts asking DH the stupidest things....was it disgusting? Was there blood everywhere? Was the placenta just so gross? Is he cute? Cause if he is not cute I am holding him.

And then a few weeks later she found out that we (well I much to the dismay of DH) decided not to circumcise him. She freaked, no girl is every going to like him, that is so disgusting.

While I was pregnant I went to a camping stagette. A bunch of our cousins were there, and my one cousin who is pretty much opposite me when it comes to almost everything about parenting (she has 4 LOs). Starts talking to me in front of everyone there. So you will probably be one of those girls who wants to try and have a natural birth, good luck I think that is just stupid! And you will probably breast feed too, that is fine but your boobs will be so gross after.

Oh goodness, good thing the good Lord has taught me to bite my tongue! Not even worth a response, you crazy people!!!

And yes I did have a natural birth, it was so wonderful I can not wait to do it again! It was not disgusting it was so beautiful and empowering. And yes my ten month old is still BF exclusively and he is growing like a champ. My boobs are not gross, they are not perky like they use to be but I am ok with that. I noursished my child, that is what matters to me. Every change that is noticeable in my body reminds me that I have the great privelege of being a Mommy to a wonderful little boy. Each stretch mark reminds me of when he was in my tummy and each kick he made and everytime I could feel him move. Loved every minute!


----------



## Amatullah0

I didn't think I would love my stretchmarks, but I also didn't think I would hate them either. I'm not super enthusiastic about them, but I do like them, and they remind me of when I was pregnant, it's like looking at a picture for me, but maybe better, since I can feel them too?

And your talking about natural birth reminded me of something. It seems like everyone thinks you(in general) would WANT a medicated birth, you know? For me, it was the furthest thing from the truth. I wasn't terrified of birth, I was terrified of being at the whim of whoever my nurse happened to be, and whoever my care provider turned into during my labor, and whatever the medications did to me(side effects, expected effects, being tied to a bag of fluids). So I felt super free when I found MDC and found out that yes, people can and do give birth naturally, even if they do end up in the hospital, even if they don't want to be in the hospital. My natural birth was super free and super empowering, and while I don't insist that anyone do exactly like I do, I like to spread the word that natural birth can be empowering, freeing, and that it can even be fun! (My son's birth was totally fun!)


----------



## kindyll

while pregnant:

- MIL asking repeatedly if I was sure I wasn't carrying twins, because she thought I was so big. She also pointed out that she had gained <10lbs during her pregnancies, labor only lasted a few hours and involved a bit of a back ache and that's it, and she felt perfectly fine up until going into labor, with no negative pregnancy symptoms at all.

Meanwhile I spent the first 15+ weeks of the pregnancy throwing up, and the last 10+ weeks of it with PUPPP rashes all over the place and feeling sick again. I gained 35 lbs, which isn't bad, but isn't the <10 that she was bragging about.

- my father linking to an article about the 16lb baby born in texas while I was waiting for my results from the GD test, and saying "don't get diabetes. It's bad." Like I have some control over getting GD or not!

After birth:

DD is only 2 weeks old so far, so not much.

We have a giant stash of cloth diapers ready for her, and told everyone from early on that we were going to CD. Both my mom and my MIL bought a billion disposable diapers for us anyhow. Gee, thanks.

DD was ~1 week old and had been sleeping while I finished up dinner. She was starting to wake up and was going to be hungry. I explained to my MIL that I was trying to keep everything peaceful so I could quickly finish eating and then go feed her. MIL starts wiggling the baby's arms and cooing loudly at her (which I said "that's the opposite of calming", and MIL ignored me). When DD started to cry a bit, MIL suggested me putting some of my potato in her mouth to keep her quiet.

Seriously.


----------



## IzzyTheTerrible

Put potato in a 1 week old's mouth??? What planet is she from??


----------



## minkajane

One of my favorite bloggers, Dr Grumpy, had this on his blog today.

Quote:


> Dr. Grumpy: "Any other questions?"
> 
> Mr. Clueless: "Yeah, but maybe it's not related."
> 
> Dr. Grumpy: "What's up?"
> 
> Mr. Clueless: "My wife is having a baby soon. When does the doctor poke holes in her nipples to let the milk out?"


----------



## tooraloora

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *minkajane*
> 
> One of my favorite bloggers, Dr Grumpy, had this on his blog today.












My roommate was insanely curious about the whole breastfeeding thing after my DS was born. "How does the milk come out? Does like a big hole open up after the baby is born? Does it shoot out like a water gun? What about your old piercings? Doesn't that make it hard? Doesn't it make all the milk shoot out the sides?" When I explained how it actually works... "OMG That's so cool. I *have* to see! Can you aim it? Could you hit a target?! Look, here, shoot this!" Seriously. He was stuck on the water gun angle for awhile.


----------



## PatienceAndLove

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *minkajane*
> 
> One of my favorite bloggers, Dr Grumpy, had this on his blog today.


----------



## hopefulfaith

I love Dr. Grumpy! He is one of my daily, go-to blogs.

It was a hilarious post.


----------



## erigeron

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *kindyll*
> 
> We have a giant stash of cloth diapers ready for her, and told everyone from early on that we were going to CD. Both my mom and my MIL bought a billion disposable diapers for us anyhow. Gee, thanks.


A friend got us 2 packs of sposies. I was irritated at first... but then when the baby was born, it turned out she didn't fit into any of the cloth diapers we had--they were all too large, and we were glad we had those disposables after all.

I was more irritated that I registered for specific cloth diapers and my mom showed up with a bunch of Gerbers from babies r us and said that these were the best prefolds you can get now. Um, those are the best prefolds you can get at a brick and mortar retail chain store, but there ARE better ones out there, including the SPECIFIC ONES I REGISTERED FOR. Blah.


----------



## milkybean

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *jenrose*
> 
> "Difficult births are caused by psychological blockage and a lack of faith in the process."


If only my HOMEBIRTH MIDWIVES hadn't started this sort of debate with me while I was in labor. The one who was there (the one I disliked, of course, and who disliked my husband from the MOMENT she met him, since she wasn't expecting him to be in the darkened corridor as he came out of the bathroom in their offices) tried to stage some sort of intervention, sure that I had indeed been sexually abused as a child and that's why things were going so slowly. No one, and I'm including the OB on call much much later, thought to check his position. We realized after he was earthside (after the midwife basically DID molest me and subject me to a whole lot of nonsense and borderline abuse, and after major abdominal surgery nearly against my will) that he was posterior AND in a superman pose with at least one hand up at his face. NO ONE noticed this. (sadly, I kept having a fantasy of lying down on an ironing board and having hubby lift me at the foot end, to sort of "re-start" things...and of cousre that actually probably could have helped quite nicely, if I'd been able to verbalize it).

They just couldn't figure out that ONE half of the "labor" was prodromal and we were only "calling" it labor because the Washington state gestational period clock had dinged days ago (regardless of the genetics of DH himself being a 44 week baby), they didn't even know what "prodromal" was, it seems, and TWO he was in an awful position. My level of back and hip pain was pretty high (as I'm sure yours was!) but it scared the Hades out of them, and they could not figure out how to HELP ME get through it. So they threw in the towel (and told me they were leaving me if I didn't do what they told me to do, isn't that fun?) and tossed me to the wolves. And were surprised when I told them to get the Hades out of there once they got me to the place where they keep the scalpels...

I am SO GLAD that you knew what was happening and knew you could do it! You are my brand new hero, and if the universe gives me another chance at this whole thing (I'm getting older and DS is 7 and we've been trying since he was 9 months old, and I'm not seeing high chances here) I'm going to keep you in mind!!!!! (and follow any weird ironing board/positioning fantasies that come to mind)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *hasya*
> 
> I agree about teasing. But I think that teasing at home, between siblings is good, if they know the limits. I have some fond memories of being teased and laugh over them.


My least favorite part of having siblings is the teasing.

I just don't get the parenting stuff anymore, with a 7 year old who is tall and healthy and happy and active, and smart "despite being homeschooled," and social with everyone "despite being homeschooled," and all the rest. Of course, no one knows we don't vax, and the friends who were so anti-cloth diapering never once asked me if I'd gone to disposables, and no one knows how long DS nursed (last time I said "OK" was before he turned 7, but I can feel that I could probably still nurse a determined child if asked to right now so milk definitely doesn't just go away, at least with me).... So I feel kinda free.

Oh wait, I do get homeschooling stuff from my MIL, who things we're doing irreparable damage to DS. She ruins the alone-time she has gotten to spend with him (not much, since she has tried to undermine us from when he was a month old or so) by *quizzing* him. By, say, asking him to read the subtitles on movies they are supposed to be happily watching (he's on the older side of learning to read, just like his father), and when she quizzed him with math she wouldn't let him use his fingers at all. I know that not ALL 2nd graders use fingers, but I know that some of them do, and there's nothing wrong with it at all.


----------



## jenrose

Milkybean, I'm SO sorry you had to deal with that kind of crap.

I try very hard to leave room for my instincts. With my first, my instincts said to lock myself in the bathroom and not come out until the baby did. We'd have been MUCH better off. With my second, my instincts said "Stay the hell away from the hospital or extensive monitoring" and I listened and it spared us a ton of grief. This time, my instincts aren't saying either of those things, so I'm staying open to all the options. My midwife was explaining to me that there are a lot of pink flags going on, and I finally said, "Yes, and we're 5 minutes from the hospital, and if someone will tell me exactly WHAT the hospital can do that will make me safer right now, I'll go right now." Then she said, "Well, we'd go in active labor."

And I said, "Which usually lasts about an hour for me. I'm not opposed to going to the hospital, I just need a damn good reason that it's NECESSARY, and making everyone worry less doesn't cut it."

Seriously. We're 5 minutes from a regional hospital with a level III NICU. I'm safer birthing at home than women who live in the town an hour south of here are birthing in their community hospital. And if my blood pressure needs monitoring closely, I can DO that at home, and go in if it's a problem, but if they want me to go in so they can wake me up every 2 hours to check my bp...well, the #1 thing that causes my blood pressure to rise is lack of sleep.... Give me logic, dammit. I can't sleep well in a hotel room, let alone a hospital bed. Tell me what they're going to DO to make things safer that we can't do at home.

So far, they haven't come up with anything. And I've been at L&D twice since 34 weeks, due to illness, to be checked out, clearly I'm not unwilling to go in if needed. Fortunately my midwife responds reasonably well to logic. I'm not saying I'll never go in. I'm just saying I'm not going in without a plan of action and clear indications, not just "We're worried". If I lived 20 minutes away from the hospital, I might feel differently. If the hospital was less suave about homebirth transports, I might feel differently. If I hadn't already birthed two babies vaginally without major complications, I might feel differently. But I've never regretted following my gut instincts about this kind of stuff, and I HAVE regretted doing things "just in case".


----------



## minkajane

We spent Thanksgiving with my husband's family. It's a 90-minute drive, so as soon as we got there, I had to nurse DD. Afterwards, DH's cousin asked to hold her. DD of course spit up on her. She immediately asked if it was formula or breastmilk. When I said it was breastmilk (wondering of course if she hadn't noticed that DD was nursing, not sleeping), she got this disgusted look on her face, handed DD back, and rushed off to "decontaminate" her shirt (my word, not hers). It was melodramatic to the point of being funny. Formula is stinky, sticky, and stains, but yeah breastmilk is gross.


----------



## Smokering

minkajane: That's hilarious! I mean, either way, it's vomit... does it really matter what it was before that?

Reminds me of the time I'd just nursed DD and my sister was lying on the floor, waving DD in the air over her head and laughing. Naturally, DD threw up in my sister's mouth.  My sister is pretty cool, and dealt well with it; but her boyfriend (now husband!), who I don't think had ever seen a baby at close quarters before, was absolutely aghast - and yes, partly because it was breastmilk vomit. He hissed "That was IN SMOKERING!"

This is the same guy who nearly fainted with revulsion when my sister told him I encapsulated my placenta. It's going to be hilarious when they have kids.


----------



## limabean

Last weekend a family member said that my 3-year-old DD is dyslexic because she wrote a letter backwards...


----------



## peaceful_mama

um are YOU going to pay 99 cents to buy him a jar of banana baby food--non organic at that? cause i can buy a pound of organic bananas for his breakfast for a week for that!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *mommy212*
> 
> Lately I've had...
> (while wearing LO in my mei tai) "Can't you afford a stroller?"
> 
> my mom, as I am picking up my LO, who is crying in his seat: "Boy, he's got you trained, huh?"
> Also, from the same situation many times before:
> "He's just fussing for the sake of fussing."
> "It won't hurt him to cry." (which it doesn't literally, but I am not going to do dishes while he cries in his seat... dishes can wait!)
> "He's just fussing to get your attention." Well... duh!
> 
> More from mom:
> "You know, you can quit now. He's got what he needs." (2 weeks, referring to BFing)
> 
> "You're not going to feed him rice cereal first?"
> "No, I want him to have something with flavor."
> "Well, cereal is digested easier."
> "Not really, they pretty much disproved that."
> "When are you going to start stocking up on jars, then?"
> "I'll start making it in a few weeks, and then it'll be in the freezer whenever he's ready."
> "You're going to MAKE his food? For goodness' sake, WHY?"
> 
> My grandma:
> "You're STILL breastfeeding?" (at 3 months)


----------



## mommy212

Recently, while taking my 2yo for a walk, I had someone stop me and ask why he wasn't in a stroller. I told him we went for short walks nearly every day, and he enjoyed walking and it was good for him. "Well, it's too cold out, anyways." he said. It was 45 out! Since when is 45 cold? Okay so maybe this wasn't really a dumb parenting comment, but I think it's silly to not want to let a 2 yo walk a few blocks in cool weather.


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *mommy212*
> 
> Recently, while taking my 2yo for a walk, I had someone stop me and ask why he wasn't in a stroller. I told him we went for short walks nearly every day, and he enjoyed walking and it was good for him. "Well, it's too cold out, anyways." he said. It was 45 out! Since when is 45 cold? Okay so maybe this wasn't really a dumb parenting comment, but I think it's silly to not want to let a 2 yo walk a few blocks in cool weather.


Similarly, I was walking with my ds from the metro to his daycare one time (we do it every day - its 4 blocks!). DS was throwing a tantrum (umm...he's almost 3yo, that's pretty normal). Some lady stopped me to tell me that I was making him walk too far, and that he wasn't capable of it. Except you passed by me on a random street corner without seeing where we started, or where we ended up. 4 blocks is not too far for my son to walk, he regularly walks MUCH further! Without so much as a complaint. Ugh....I hate people sometimes.


----------



## Stephenie

At the store the other day the cashier asked me how many kids I have. I told him two and one on the way. He said "Congrats.... I guess. I don't know how I feel about children." not really directly related to my parenting but a pretty odd comment.


----------



## limabean

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *mommy212*
> 
> Recently, while taking my 2yo for a walk, I had someone stop me and ask why he wasn't in a stroller. I told him we went for short walks nearly every day, and he enjoyed walking and it was good for him. "Well, it's too cold out, anyways." he said. It was 45 out! Since when is 45 cold? Okay so maybe this wasn't really a dumb parenting comment, but I think it's silly to not want to let a 2 yo walk a few blocks in cool weather.


...because sitting motionless in a stroller would keep him warmer than walking and getting his blood pumping?









Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Stephenie*
> 
> At the store the other day the cashier asked me how many kids I have. I told him two and one on the way. He said "Congrats.... I guess. I don't know how I feel about children." not really directly related to my parenting but a pretty odd comment.










For some reason that one cracks me up -- it's just off the wall!


----------



## briansmama

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Miss Chris*
> 
> Reading all these ridiculous breastfeeding stories suddenly reminded me of this bizarre exchange I had when my daughter was about 3 months old. We had gone to a friend's wedding reception and I was carrying my daughter in her Ellaroo when we were approached by a relative of the bride. This guy was a complete stranger to me.
> 
> He says "are you breastfeeding?"
> I (still a new mother, not yet used to the bizarrely personal questions strangers will ask you when you have a baby with you) manage to stammer out a "yes" instead of the vastly more appropriate "what business is it of yours?".
> 
> and he says:
> 
> "When we had our kids we formula fed them because we figured you know whats in the cans but you don't really know what's in the "cans" (as he makes gestures with his hands as though he were lifting his own enormous, invisible breasts) if you know what I mean"
> 
> Uh, uh, wow. I think my mouth actually fell open. What do you even say? "How interesting, I think I better be going now....."
> 
> Almost four years have passed since that day and it still cracks me up every time I remember it
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Miss Chris


OMG, I can't believe some guy said this to you! I'm laughing so hard, thanks for sharing!


----------



## briansmama

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *bcblondie*
> 
> My BIL said I shouldn't homeschool because teasing is good for kids. They need to get teased in school so that they're prepared for the real world. I guess I better start teasing my 2 year old now, so he's ready for school!!
> 
> My MIL said I shouldn't homeschool because schools and churches are always teh first things established in a city, because they are needed. We've been doing it so long it's proof the system is working. And I'm going to want some time alone during the day. (True, but I really don't need 6 hours! A girls night every other week is plenty for me. I love being around my son. I don't know why that's so hard to believe.)
> 
> She also threw in there that back in teh day, women didn't have TIME to teach their kids everything, if they had a farm and no washing machine, etc, so that's why they sent them to school. Not sure what that has to do with me. I have plenty of time. (Pretty sure she's just defensive of her own choices and feels threatened by mine.)
> 
> She ALSO decided that homeschooling was likely to cause my marriage to fail, due to the stresses of getting everything done, and having no time for eachother... Right, because our alternative (very expensive private school) would not be hard on a marriage at all.


These comments are just so odd to me! Teasing is good for kids? Your response to your BIL is just hilarious though- I do hope you said that out loud 

We homeschool and love it too. I've heard some rude comments but the ones above are pretty silly to me...


----------



## transylvania_mom

I just came home with dd after a 3-day stay in the hospital; she was admitted with pneumonia. My parents are currently living with us for a couple of months, they are both in their late 50s and in fairly good health. While dd was in the hospital, I was taking turns with dh taking care of dd and going to work, and coming home just to sleep. When I got home I was exhausted after a whole day of work and taking care of dd. The first thing my dad says, as he is having a really serious case of man cold: "I have a sore throat. When are you taking me to the hospital?"

And no, he was not kidding.


----------



## Smokering

Quote:


> "When we had our kids we formula fed them because we figured you know whats in the cans but you don't really know what's in the "cans" (as he makes gestures with his hands as though he were lifting his own enormous, invisible breasts) if you know what I mean"


LOL! Yes... the contents of lactating breasts is one of the great mysteries science has yet to explain. Sometimes milk comes out, sometimes Coke, sometimes grape juice... really, it's best to just stick to formula and avoid surprises.

Or perhaps he was the paranoid type, and thought the government was slipping contaminants into his wife's breasts? Or that she herself was ingesting illegal substances?

What a fascinating thought process.


----------



## rebecca_n

my father called about an hour ago and i mentioned my dd (11months old) went peepee on the potty and he asked about my ds (3) using the potty too which he isn't (had a traumatizing experience falling off the potty and slamming his head on the wall and simply refuses but we're not stressing him about it) so when i said no but that ds is proud of dd my dad told me i need to be the mom and just strip him and force him to sit on the potty until he goes. i said no that would further traumatize him and he would scream and freak out. well apparently if i dont force him then he'll be "p***ing his pants in college" ughhhhh


----------



## rainface

This thread is great...DD is only 6 weeks but I have a few already, courtesy of my inlaws.







My husband's dad and step-mom, and his grandparents came to visit me when DD was 3 weeks old (husband was working) and his step-mom started telling me about how I should teach her to sleep through the night when she was a month old. "She'll cry for a bit but you just let her to teach her it's not going to get her anywhere". I also need to give her a pacifier because babies look "so cute like Cabbage Patch dolls" with them. (She actually does get a pacifier occasionally in the car, but usually it doesn't help and she spits it out). Then his grandfather started talking about how much more fun children are to be around when they don't "run the house". This devolved into a series of amusing stories about my husband's younger siblings being spanked/slapped/popped for various offenses as toddlers. Right. And my daughter will not be spending unsupervised time with you until she has a drivers license and can get in a car and leave when she wants to. The thing is, these are nice people. They really are. They love their children, and love DD, but...holy cow!


----------



## Kelly1101

Yeah. He'll totally be pissing in his pants in college if he isn't potty trained by 3. That happens ALL THE TIME. It's an epidemic, really.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *rebecca_n*
> 
> my father called about an hour ago and i mentioned my dd (11months old) went peepee on the potty and he asked about my ds (3) using the potty too which he isn't (had a traumatizing experience falling off the potty and slamming his head on the wall and simply refuses but we're not stressing him about it) so when i said no but that ds is proud of dd my dad told me i need to be the mom and just strip him and force him to sit on the potty until he goes. i said no that would further traumatize him and he would scream and freak out. well apparently if i dont force him then he'll be "p***ing his pants in college" ughhhhh


Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Stephenie*
> 
> At the store the other day the cashier asked me how many kids I have. I told him two and one on the way. He said "Congrats.... I guess. I don't know how I feel about children." not really directly related to my parenting but a pretty odd comment.


That cracked me up so hard. You should have gone all shrink on him "I wonder if that relates to your own childhood. Would you like to tell me about it?"


----------



## aeterna

Ahaha, this thread is cracking me up!


----------



## mommy212

My SIL was relating to me a while back about how a friend had started giving their FOUR MONTH OLD chocolate cow's milk. CHOCOLATE! Argh. I said something to the effect of 'Wow, how do people not know this kind of basic nutrition these days?' and she says "Ya, stupid woman, you're supposed to stop giving them formula when you start on milk! Seriously."







I was floored, and speechless. Really? at four months old?


----------



## kindyll

Holiday season, so of course there is new ' sage advice ' from family members.

-cosleeping is going to end in the death of our baby
-letting her put weight on her legs will ruin her bones forever
-she needs to be sleeping through the night by now (2 months old) and since she isn't we need to fed her formula instead of breast milk
-we need to feed her rice cereal because it is filling but not fattening, because otherwise she will get too fat and be diabetic and obese when she gets older
-I need to give her a bottle of formula every day instead of exclusively breast feeding, because she needs to get used to it just in case I can't fed her anymore
-breast milk isn't as good for her as the formula
-crying is good for her and is training her lungs
-holding her will soil her and I will regret it later because she will always want to be held and we won't have any control
-changing her diaper right away after she pees is stupid because her skin needs to toughen up, and you should wait until she poops too before changing

We've been in town for one day so far. I'm scared to think of what may come up tomorrow.


----------



## swd12422

I only have two words for you : Hotel room.


----------



## Kelly1101

Holy CRAP. All of that in one day? Yeah, I'd be about ready to scream at some family members to Shut the F Up About My Baby Or We Are Leaving. Seriously. Put your foot down.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *kindyll*
> 
> Holiday season, so of course there is new ' sage advice ' from family members.
> -cosleeping is going to end in the death of our baby
> -letting her put weight on her legs will ruin her bones forever
> -she needs to be sleeping through the night by now (2 months old) and since she isn't we need to fed her formula instead of breast milk
> -we need to feed her rice cereal because it is filling but not fattening, because otherwise she will get too fat and be diabetic and obese when she gets older
> -I need to give her a bottle of formula every day instead of exclusively breast feeding, because she needs to get used to it just in case I can't fed her anymore
> -breast milk isn't as good for her as the formula
> -crying is good for her and is training her lungs
> -holding her will soil her and I will regret it later because she will always want to be held and we won't have any control
> -changing her diaper right away after she pees is stupid because her skin needs to toughen up, and you should wait until she poops too before changing
> We've been in town for one day so far. I'm scared to think of what may come up tomorrow.


----------



## Kelly1101

One thing I will never get is how people can say "Formula is better for the baby than Breast Milk." I mean... that's just so massively scientifically untrue. It's not even a "Crunchy / Mainstream" thing. Mainstream mode of thought right now is that Breastfeeding is healthier. That doesn't mean that formula is BAD for all babies (I don't think it's poison), but health-wise-- I mean... getting a statement of "Formula is healthier" to me is like saying that the world is flat. Please show these people something that shows them how categorically wrong they are, because that's just annoying and mind-boggling.


----------



## minkajane

A coworker of mine said the other day that my 7lb 5oz daughter was HUGE at birth and that average for a newborn is around 5 pounds. I said, "Uh, no it's actually 7-9." She waved dismissively and said, "Oh, I don't agree with that, no matter what the doctors say, that's just too much weight for the mother to be carrying around!"







I feel so sorry for her poor starving babies.


----------



## Kelly1101

LMAO.

So to her average means... what she finds desirable?

I'd have to go all Inigo Montoya on her... "I do not think it means what you think it means."


----------



## erigeron

So how big were this woman's babies? If her body naturally grows 5 pounders, they probably aren't actually starving. (hopefully.)


----------



## jenrose

*edited because my information source was incorrect*


----------



## livacreature

Mine is only two months, but I've gotten some good ones. "That baby is too little to be out! You aren't supposed to take them anywhere until they are nine months old!" Really? Cause I'm pretty sure mama has to go to the grocery store and not become a shut in. She's healthy, some germ exposure is good for her. I wear her, so it's not like she's coming into contact with much and she is warm and cozy.

I started supplementing with formula due to supply because she wasn't gaining weight (a pound in two months), she's happier this way, but I'm trying to stimulate my production, so I'm pretty much nursing her or pumping all the time. I work full time and the four ounces a day I was getting while pumping is simply not enough to sustain her. Whatever, I am fine with that. I would have loved to just breastfeed, but baby needs to eat. However..."Why are you going to bother to do that now that you give her formula? She doesn't have virgin gut anymore, so I don't see the difference." Really? I'm pretty sure anyone would agree that SOME breastmilk is better than none, even if kiddo gets some formula to fill in. I firmly believe that the all or nothing approach is why a lot of women throw in the towel.

Ahhh..."Her eyes are crossed. If you let her do that, she's going to get a lazy eye." Yes, she sometimes crosses her eyes, like all babies. What do you propose I do? Stick my finger in her eyeball and uncross it?

"She's never going to STTN if you let her sleep in your room, she'll know you're there." Welp, she's been STTN since three weeks most nights (I know it is unusual, but I'm very lucky in this camp!), and every single time she does wake up crying, I nurse her back to sleep. On the flipside, a very accusing woman who asked about her sleep at a coffee shop "Babies only sleep through the night if you make them CIO."


----------



## crunchy_mommy

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *livacreature*
> 
> Mine is only two months, but I've gotten some good ones. "That baby is too little to be out! You aren't supposed to take them anywhere until they are nine months old!" Really? Cause I'm pretty sure mama has to go to the grocery store and not become a shut in. She's healthy, some germ exposure is good for her. I wear her, so it's not like she's coming into contact with much and she is warm and cozy.
> 
> I started supplementing with formula due to supply because she wasn't gaining weight (a pound in two months), she's happier this way, but I'm trying to stimulate my production, so I'm pretty much nursing her or pumping all the time. I work full time and the four ounces a day I was getting while pumping is simply not enough to sustain her. Whatever, I am fine with that. I would have loved to just breastfeed, but baby needs to eat. However..."Why are you going to bother to do that now that you give her formula? She doesn't have virgin gut anymore, so I don't see the difference." Really? I'm pretty sure anyone would agree that SOME breastmilk is better than none, even if kiddo gets some formula to fill in. I firmly believe that the all or nothing approach is why a lot of women throw in the towel.
> 
> Ahhh..."Her eyes are crossed. If you let her do that, she's going to get a lazy eye." Yes, she sometimes crosses her eyes, like all babies. What do you propose I do? Stick my finger in her eyeball and uncross it?
> 
> "She's never going to STTN if you let her sleep in your room, she'll know you're there." Welp, she's been STTN since three weeks most nights (I know it is unusual, but I'm very lucky in this camp!), and every single time she does wake up crying, I nurse her back to sleep. On the flipside, a very accusing woman who asked about her sleep at a coffee shop "Babies only sleep through the night if you make them CIO."


Some crazy ones there!! Uncross her eyes???? lol! And do people really wait 'til 9mos to take a baby out of the house?!?!?!

On another note, I also wanted to mention (and forgive me if I'm out of bounds in suggesting this) that her sleeping through the night so early could be the reason she wasn't gaining weight on breastmilk alone... most infants get a huge portion of their calories during the night & night-nursing is one of the best ways to boost supply... just something I wanted to throw out there if you hadn't looked into it yet!


----------



## livacreature

Yeah, I tried getting her up to feed her, but unless it is 100% on her own terms, she will refuse to latch and fall asleep. She will happily nurse if she wakes herself up. I now pump at night to keep it coming. She doesn't nap at all during the day, so I think by the time night rolls around, she is spent. She's a creature of habit!


----------



## crunchy_mommy

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *livacreature*
> 
> Yeah, I tried getting her up to feed her, but unless it is 100% on her own terms, she will refuse to latch and fall asleep. She will happily nurse if she wakes herself up. I now pump at night to keep it coming. She doesn't nap at all during the day, so I think by the time night rolls around, she is spent. She's a creature of habit!


wow that's amazing, could she send some of that habit over to my 3yo DS who still can't seem to fall into a routine??? lol


----------



## Greenlea

If I have to hear my BIL say one more time that "if a child can talk, and ask to nurse then its time to stop nursing" one more time I'm going to scream! He's not quite pertaining this to my son, as he's only 14 mths old and doesn't talk, but to refer to that BS at all is annoying. Sure, my son may not talk, but he does sign for milk when he wants to nurse. I wonder if thats that same thing as "asking" to my BIL.

I also saw some posts in an online discussion that if a baby has teeth, its time to stop nursing. Really? Cuz my 1st son got his first tooth at 5mths, was I supposed to stop nursing my 5mth old?


----------



## tooraloora

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Greenlea*
> 
> I also saw some posts in an online discussion that if a baby has teeth, its time to stop nursing. Really? Cuz my 1st son got his first tooth at 5mths, was I supposed to stop nursing my 5mth old?


According the people I dealt with who had this mindset, yes. When DS started teething at around 4-5 months, I was told several times that I was done nursing.


----------



## livacreature

Do they think teeth mean they automatically with chew your nipple off instead of latching? Weird....

Oh, both DH and I have gotten a lot of anti-dad comments. He does babycare while I work on weekends and in the late afternoons/early evenings. I do the babycare while he works during the morning/early afternoon and nights. "Oh, that won't last long. You're going to hire a sitter for her within a month." "Dads are fine for older kids, but they just can't do babies." "Dads don't know what their kids need." "I can't believe your wife talked you in to that!" I've had several people ask if I was worried he would drop her/forget to feed her/not change her.

Seriously. He can do everything I can do just as well except you know, breastfeed. I don't know why society doesn't seem to think that dad's can be equal parenting partners. I'm a better mom because I work. I'm able to work because I know that she is with someone who loves her as much as I do and is on the same page with her care. He loves taking care of her, I would never second guess his ability to care for his child. It would be so offensive to say that stuff about a mother, but people seem to think that dad=non-nurturing Homer Simpson.


----------



## tooraloora

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *livacreature*
> 
> Do they think teeth mean they automatically with chew your nipple off instead of latching? Weird....


Exactly. Shortly after the first teeth break through the gums, human nurslings transmogrify into piranha-like creatures. As such, the moment a nursling begins showing signs of teething, it is imperative that the mother begin weaning the child from the breast, else she will be devoured by the baby beast. Instead of continuing to offer the breast at this point, the mother should offer nutritious foods that would allow the baby beast to make use of its ferocious new teeth and nourish its growing body in ways breast milk cannot, such as cookies, Cheerios, french fries, and Big Macs. At this time, it is also necessary to begin providing the baby beast with other beverages. Some baby beasts may resist this, but thankfully modern technology has brought us Nesquick, Koolaid (aka juice), and soda to make this transition go more smoothly. The odd mother may fall into denial about her child's metamorphosis and continue to nurse, insisting that all is well, but undoubtedly she is actually a masochist, and is most assuredly hiding bloodied and partially (or fully) severed nipples under her blouse.


----------



## mommy212

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *tooraloora*
> 
> Exactly. Shortly after the first teeth break through the gums, human nurslings transmogrify into piranha-like creatures. As such, the moment a nursling begins showing signs of teething, it is imperative that the mother begin weaning the child from the breast, else she will be devoured by the baby beast. Instead of continuing to offer the breast at this point, the mother should offer nutritious foods that would allow the baby beast to make use of its ferocious new teeth and nourish its growing body in ways breast milk cannot, such as cookies, Cheerios, french fries, and Big Macs. At this time, it is also necessary to begin providing the baby beast with other beverages. Some baby beasts may resist this, but thankfully modern technology has brought us Nesquick, Koolaid (aka juice), and soda to make this transition go more smoothly. The odd mother may fall into denial about her child's metamorphosis and continue to nurse, insisting that all is well, but undoubtedly she is actually a masochist, and is most assuredly hiding bloodied and partially (or fully) severed nipples under her blouse.


----------



## Kelly1101

Ugh. I hate this sexist crap. Parenting is a learned skill, you don't need Girl Parts to do it. Good for your husband (and you) 

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *livacreature*
> 
> Do they think teeth mean they automatically with chew your nipple off instead of latching? Weird....
> 
> Oh, both DH and I have gotten a lot of anti-dad comments. He does babycare while I work on weekends and in the late afternoons/early evenings. I do the babycare while he works during the morning/early afternoon and nights. "Oh, that won't last long. You're going to hire a sitter for her within a month." "Dads are fine for older kids, but they just can't do babies." "Dads don't know what their kids need." "I can't believe your wife talked you in to that!" I've had several people ask if I was worried he would drop her/forget to feed her/not change her.
> 
> Seriously. He can do everything I can do just as well except you know, breastfeed. I don't know why society doesn't seem to think that dad's can be equal parenting partners. I'm a better mom because I work. I'm able to work because I know that she is with someone who loves her as much as I do and is on the same page with her care. He loves taking care of her, I would never second guess his ability to care for his child. It would be so offensive to say that stuff about a mother, but people seem to think that dad=non-nurturing Homer Simpson.


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *tooraloora*
> 
> Today I was informed that it is my fault that my DS isn't talking yet because I've always responded to his needs, and that I should stop responding to him immediately or he'll never have any reason to talk.


I was basically told this...by DS1's case management person. He was speech delayed (and is now leaning advanced). She HATED his signing for some reason (the speech therapist had no problem with it) This woman would hold toys back and tell him "Can you say more?" He would sign it. "No, say MORE." He would sign it. "No..." By that time he was DONE and would get up and walk off. The next time it happened I stepped in after the first "no" and said, "He DID say more." She looked confused at me and kept writing on the sheets "Refuses to say 'more' instead of sign." UHM, he was communicating...lets work on words he DOESN'T know.

She was also the one that seemed upset that my son didn't know basic shapes. I tried teaching him the names and how to identify them and he did not care one iota. He did, however, care about learning animals and could tell the difference between a cheetah and leopard at 2...but there's obviously something wrong because he doesn't know a circle from a square (which he does now).

lol More about her...

She also was shocked and weirded out that he didn't know who Barney was...I HATE Barney. He annoys the crap out of me. We don't have TV (we watch things online) but she was always surprised when my kid didn't know "basic cartoon characters."

Yeah, we're not in therapy anymore...

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *erigeron*
> 
> A friend got us 2 packs of sposies. I was irritated at first... but then when the baby was born, it turned out she didn't fit into any of the cloth diapers we had--they were all too large, and we were glad we had those disposables after all.
> 
> I was more irritated that I registered for specific cloth diapers and my mom showed up with a bunch of Gerbers from babies r us and said that these were the best prefolds you can get now. Um, those are the best prefolds you can get at a brick and mortar retail chain store, but there ARE better ones out there, including the SPECIFIC ONES I REGISTERED FOR. Blah.


Keep 'em. They make great kitchen towels!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Kelly1101*
> 
> Yeah. He'll totally be pissing in his pants in college if he isn't potty trained by 3. That happens ALL THE TIME. It's an epidemic, really.


Only if there's a direct correlation between not being potty trained by 3 and excessive drinking...

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *livacreature*
> 
> Do they think teeth mean they automatically with chew your nipple off instead of latching? Weird....
> 
> Oh, both DH and I have gotten a lot of anti-dad comments. He does babycare while I work on weekends and in the late afternoons/early evenings. I do the babycare while he works during the morning/early afternoon and nights. "Oh, that won't last long. You're going to hire a sitter for her within a month." "Dads are fine for older kids, but they just can't do babies." "Dads don't know what their kids need." "I can't believe your wife talked you in to that!" I've had several people ask if I was worried he would drop her/forget to feed her/not change her.
> 
> Seriously. He can do everything I can do just as well except you know, breastfeed. I don't know why society doesn't seem to think that dad's can be equal parenting partners. I'm a better mom because I work. I'm able to work because I know that she is with someone who loves her as much as I do and is on the same page with her care. He loves taking care of her, I would never second guess his ability to care for his child. It would be so offensive to say that stuff about a mother, but people seem to think that dad=non-nurturing Homer Simpson.


Dude. I had BAD PPD with my first. When my husband got home he was like Super Dad with DS1.

Some of mine...

DS2 is intact (DS1 is circ'd) and, upon learning this, my dad tells me "Well I'm glad someone circumcised me." Yep, that should TOTALLY be your next Christmas card to your mom. "Thanks for the circumcision!" SIGH

Just yesterday DH came upon a conversation about "when it's time to stop BFing." A friend, who wasn't involved but knows DH's stance, brought him in because DH loves to debate. When asked "How long do you think babies should BF?" DH didn't hesitate before replying, "2 years." He was bombarded with comments like "Yuck, you're one of THOSE." and "OMG That's child abuse!"


----------



## Vrai

"She's never going to learn to walk if you don't put her down." (multiple times, starting when DD was 6 freakin months, and they didn't stop until she was walking, at 13 mos)

Yeah. She's almost 4 now. That dire prediction didn't pan out too well  She's tall and all legs and runs like there's no tomorrow.

"You really should stop carrying her in that sling. It will deform her spine." (14-15mos or so)

"You're turning her into a spoiled brat by carrying her when she can walk. She doesn't need to be held any more. Put her in a stroller if you have to." (3yrs)

"Spoiling" by love and affection would have done this person some good.

All from the same person, too. Notice how the dire predictions keep changing as she gets older? It's like the people who predict the apocalypse, and as soon as the big day comes and goes, they come up with a recalculation, LOL.


----------



## Kelly1101

The first one especially-- I love the "never" comments. I really do. My favorite was "she's NEVER going to learn to eat with a spoon if you keep giving her fingerfoods."

I mean, I get the sentiment, but-- Never? NEVER? IN HER ENTIRE LIFE?

PS-- she has been able to eat with a spoon since she turned 2. So much for Never.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Vrai*
> 
> "She's never going to learn to walk if you don't put her down." (multiple times, starting when DD was 6 freakin months, and they didn't stop until she was walking, at 13 mos)
> 
> Yeah. She's almost 4 now. That dire prediction didn't pan out too well  She's tall and all legs and runs like there's no tomorrow.
> 
> "You really should stop carrying her in that sling. It will deform her spine." (14-15mos or so)
> 
> "You're turning her into a spoiled brat by carrying her when she can walk. She doesn't need to be held any more. Put her in a stroller if you have to." (3yrs)
> 
> "Spoiling" by love and affection would have done this person some good.
> 
> All from the same person, too. Notice how the dire predictions keep changing as she gets older? It's like the people who predict the apocalypse, and as soon as the big day comes and goes, they come up with a recalculation, LOL.


----------



## Vrai

Haha, I know! Overdramatic, much?

People used to tell my mom that if, "those kids aren't out of [her] bed by 2, they'll NEVER leave!"

Last I checked, I did, in fact, leave my mom's bed 

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Kelly1101*
> 
> The first one especially-- I love the "never" comments. I really do. My favorite was "she's NEVER going to learn to eat with a spoon if you keep giving her fingerfoods."
> 
> I mean, I get the sentiment, but-- Never? NEVER? IN HER ENTIRE LIFE?
> 
> PS-- she has been able to eat with a spoon since she turned 2. So much for Never.


----------



## Katie8681

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *KristyDi*
> 
> "Oh, he dosen't want to play with the baby! He's a _BOY_!"
> 
> I guess that despite the fact that this little boy was in fact playing with a baby and smiling and laughing, that boys never never like babies.


That's so sad!! I have had little boys go extremely gaga over my 6 mo old DS. It's very sweet. Why would anyone try to extinguish that nurturing behavior?


----------



## Ohhedgehogs

My husband and I hope to adopt internationally someday, ideally a sibling group. My brother in law (husbands brother) upon hearing this looked me in the eye, dead serious and said "Well. Just make sure you get a girl from China so everyone KNOWS you adopted her"

There are no words, two years after this incedent that even come to my mind as a response. I am STILL speechless...


----------



## jimblejamble

While nursing my son when he was about 8 or 9 months old my husband's grandma curled up her nose and said "You know you'll have to stop doing that pretty soon, right?" (eyeroll!) She's also convinced that we were trying to kill Jude by cosleeping. He just recently started sleeping in a crib, at the end of November (my back couldn't take any more of him rotating 90 degrees, making the 3 of us form an H, and dangling on the edge of the bed for 3/4 of the night, otherwise we'd still be doing it because I love snuggling with him







) and almost every time we saw her from the time he was born until now, she'd ask when he's going to start sleeping in his crib. We'd say "Not for a while, he's still with us till he's older" and she'd go "But that's so DANGEROUS!!!" Hmm, somehow I survived and Jude has managed to come out unscathed as well. It's a miracle!


----------



## ziursrm

Oh man, that would infuriate me. I was shocked to find out my mom was letting my 4yo have root beer when he was over on Sunday afternoons. She didn't let me have soda until I was like 10 and then only rarely. At least she stopped when I asked her to. She used to work as an ER nurse and has seen many parents bring in 1 yo with soda in their bottles! How ludicrous is that?


----------



## ziursrm

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *RoseDuperre*
> 
> Time for some Holiday Hijinks in this thread. Nothing MAJOR here but annoying nonetheless. My MIL literally poured SODA into Lily's (20 month old) mouth today. Lily ONLY drinks water, and was _in the process_ of drinking and enjoying some when Grandma came on over and said "Here, try some pop!" I said something about oh, she's just having some water, and MIL literally said (to Lily, not me, of course) "Come on, try it! It's better!"
> 
> I don't even want her having juice, for cripe's sake, but I could tolerate some watered-down juice if it's real juice and not 90% HFSC and dye - with permission. Because things are always SO TENSE with her about food, among many other things, and it's caused problems with DP, since I'm always the bad guy saying to to candy, sugar, allergens that we've explained a million times. Seriously, how hard is it to remember that gluten/wheat is a no-no? And how obscure a fact is it that anything made with freakin' FLOUR is therefore made of wheat and therefore is not okay? I could understand if someone didn't know that soy sauce has gluten, or malt, or beer, or something much less obvious, but how many times do I have to say no to BREAD and CAKE and PASTA and flipping TRISCUITS??
> 
> Anyway, so when it came to the soda, I literally froze. DP wasn't in the room, but his little brother had the sense to say "Come on, Mom, she doesn't need soda." She replied "It's Sierra Mist. It doesn't have caffeine," (yeah, because that's the only issue) and then tried to give her more! Lily wanted nothing to do with it. Good for her, but why did she have to even have that first gulp???
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> DP agreed that next time I AM allowed to refuse, or he will if he's there. Because there will be a next time.


Oh man, that would infuriate me. I was shocked to find out my mom was letting my 4yo have root beer when he was over on Sunday afternoons. She didn't let me have soda until I was like 10 and then only rarely. At least she stopped when I asked her to. She used to work as an ER nurse and has seen many parents bring in 1 yo with soda in their bottles! How ludicrous is that?


----------



## ziursrm

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *KristyDi*
> 
> I was at a playground w/ a good friend recently our dd's, both 21 months were hanging out and playing. We were chatting and her 6 month old dd was in her car seat watching everything.
> 
> The woman sitting next to us said many many dumb things in the 15 min we were there before she left. This was my favorite.
> 
> Several of the older kids, including this woman's daughter and an older toddler boy (maybe 3 or 4 years old) had come over and were playing with my friend's 6 month old. This was fine with my friend and the baby was happy. The woman's daughter said, "Look mama we're playing with baby!" the woman's brilliant response. . .
> 
> "Oh, he dosen't want to play with the baby! He's a _BOY_!"
> 
> I guess that despite the fact that this little boy was in fact playing with a baby and smiling and laughing, that boys never never like babies.


My son is "all boy" as my mom likes to say, but he has always loved babies. When he was 2 we got him a baby doll to help prepare him for the arrival of his little sister. He loved that thing for years. I even have pictures of him teaching his sister how to change it's diaper and nurse it when it was hungry. My friend's little boy used to run around the house breastfeeding is robots while his mom nursed his little sister. They imitate what they see and my son sees his daddy play, love, and interact with babies so it's just normal behavior for boys in our world.


----------



## Amanda1

I've had many many many strange comments...like most of you

Here are 2 that come to mind

1- a public health nurse at a baby group I went to for babies 0- 6 months and new mommas was giving a talk about first foods....she suggested that red meat was the best idea for 1st food!!! I believe the idea was that they will like it the least so give it to them first to get them used to it ( i understand some people give babies red meat, thats fine...but to sugest to a group of new moms not to feed fruit or veg but meat only, not ok)

2- My SIL (who is more AP than most other people around her) told me she didnt want to get a teething necklace (I told her how great we found it) becuse (and I kid you not)..... he needed to get USED to the pain, that if she made his teething pain better he would always have problems with pain!!!!!!!!!!! Her son was only maybe 6 months old at the time.


----------



## ziursrm

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Smithie*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I got a lot of the same kind of doom-and-gloom, and I felt like it was an attempt to INTIMIDATE me into giving up AP methods in favor of scheduling and CIO, because otherwise I'd be a miserable filthy bedraggled drudge. I don't think it does a darn bit of good to tell somebody that it's normal and healthy for them to be chronically exhausted and perform no personal or household maintenance for a couple of years. Lots and lots of parents can be AP without the whole martyrdom angle.


I got a lot of this as well. Some of my goals I've lived up to and some I didn't. But what's wrong with having high standards to start with as long as you can take it all in stride and learn to be flexible as life happens? I stuck to the most important things. I've noticed that people that make these comments are more often reflecting on their own failures and hope that by bringing your expectations down a notch it will alleviate some of their self-inflicted guilt. I always want to tell them that just because it didn't work out for them doesn't mean I can't make it work for me. It also doesn't mean I'm judging their choices just because I want to do something different than they did.


----------



## silversparrow

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Amanda1*
> 
> I've had many many many strange comments...like most of you
> 
> Here are 2 that come to mind
> 
> 1- a public health nurse at a baby group I went to for babies 0- 6 months and new mommas was giving a talk about first foods....she suggested that red meat was the best idea for 1st food!!! I believe the idea was that they will like it the least so give it to them first to get them used to it ( i understand some people give babies red meat, thats fine...but to sugest to a group of new moms not to feed fruit or veg but meat only, not ok)


I thought this was really weird the first time I heard it too, and I definitely don't believe in feeding ONLY meat, but when I did my research I found it's because babies need lots of iron and have difficulty getting enough from vegetable sources since they can't break down the cellulose well yet. I still thought that it was strange and would be hard on my LOs (6 mos at the time) tummy, until I tried it.... and found that it was the veggies passing nearly undigested into his diaper and the meat was not! I also found that when he gets more protein during the day, he sleeps better at night (eg. yogurt at breakfast, eggs at lunch, meat at supper) as long as it's not greasy or too spicy.


----------



## Vrai

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Ohhedgehogs*
> 
> My husband and I hope to adopt internationally someday, ideally a sibling group. My brother in law (husbands brother) upon hearing this looked me in the eye, dead serious and said "Well. Just make sure you get a girl from China so everyone KNOWS you adopted her"
> 
> There are no words, two years after this incedent that even come to my mind as a response. I am STILL speechless...


My partner and I have had exactly the opposite comment many times. "Get a baby in the US so that it's not obvious they're adopted, or maybe Russia, since they're still white."

Like we could hide the fact that they were adopted if they're simply the same race (because all people within their own race look alike, of course). Why would we even WANT to hide it?


----------



## minkajane

I have a cute story to share from DS's birthday party today. One of the little boys there (6-7yo) was loving all over 8mo DD. At one point DD started to nurse but I had a drapey shirt on so he couldn't really see what she was doing. She popped off to look around and made a big slurping noise and he exclaimed, "She kissed you!" which cracked me up. Then he said something about taking her to dance and I said she was eating. He said, "How is she eating when she's just sucking on your clothes?"







I explained to him that some babies get bottles and others got milk from their mommies and that's what she was doing. He seemed confused but nodded and went to dance some more. I just thought it was the cutest thing!


----------



## purslaine

When i responded to my toddler sons needs a crazy neighbour said "oh, he is the little prince, isn't he?" implying i was spoiling him by attending to his needs.

That reminds me...My MIL suggested I leave my under 6 month old crying on her bed while we ate. Umm - no.

The whackiest though, was when another crazy neighbour told me I really should not homeschool my kids - because if I ever needed welfare I would not be able to get it and homeschool, and if my kids grew up and needed welfare they could get in trouble for not having a diploma! I do not doubt welfare has some rules around welfare and homeschooling, but I am not going to give up homeschooling now on the off chance I need welfare in the future.


----------



## jenrose

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Amanda1*
> 
> I've had many many many strange comments...like most of you
> 
> Here are 2 that come to mind
> 
> 1- a public health nurse at a baby group I went to for babies 0- 6 months and new mommas was giving a talk about first foods....she suggested that red meat was the best idea for 1st food!!! I believe the idea was that they will like it the least so give it to them first to get them used to it ( i understand some people give babies red meat, thats fine...but to sugest to a group of new moms not to feed fruit or veg but meat only, not ok)
> 
> 2- My SIL (who is more AP than most other people around her) told me she didnt want to get a teething necklace (I told her how great we found it) becuse (and I kid you not)..... he needed to get USED to the pain, that if she made his teething pain better he would always have problems with pain!!!!!!!!!!! Her son was only maybe 6 months old at the time.


New recommendations on first foods put meat much higher on the list of better foods, and grains much lower. Meat at least has fat, protein and iron without being sprayed with chemicals. That said, babyfood meat wont' be my baby's first food, but he might well get well-cooked grass fed beef really early on in the grand scheme of things. Meat as a first food has much more to recommend it than that awful glue they've been pushing at babies for the last 40+ years.

As for #2...  Soothing pain early and often helps people cope with pain lifelong. As a chronic pain sufferer, I can tell her that feeling it more doesn't make it easier to deal with. Early pain can wire the brain differently over the long term.


----------



## Kelly1101

I've heard the meat thing before. Baby's first foods are apparently this wildly controversial thing right now. I started w/ fruits and veggies, tho.

And getting used to pain?!?!?! WTF?

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Amanda1*
> 
> I've had many many many strange comments...like most of you
> 
> Here are 2 that come to mind
> 
> 1- a public health nurse at a baby group I went to for babies 0- 6 months and new mommas was giving a talk about first foods....she suggested that red meat was the best idea for 1st food!!! I believe the idea was that they will like it the least so give it to them first to get them used to it ( i understand some people give babies red meat, thats fine...but to sugest to a group of new moms not to feed fruit or veg but meat only, not ok)
> 
> 2- My SIL (who is more AP than most other people around her) told me she didnt want to get a teething necklace (I told her how great we found it) becuse (and I kid you not)..... he needed to get USED to the pain, that if she made his teething pain better he would always have problems with pain!!!!!!!!!!! Her son was only maybe 6 months old at the time.


----------



## Katie8681

"That said, babyfood meat wont' be my baby's first food, but he might well get well-cooked grass fed beef really early on in the grand scheme of things. Meat as a first food has much more to recommend it than that awful glue they've been pushing at babies for the last 40+ years."

I tasted babyfood chicken or turkey at a baby shower once, and I literally gagged. I wouldn't feed my cat that crap.

I hate how much stress I'm feeling about what foods to start DS with, and how much pressure there is to have him on solids! I agonize over it (baby led? rice cereal with breast milk? mushed table food? unmushed table food?now? in a month?) but how it's turning out is if I'm eating something healthy and he stares, I mush up a little bit on my finger and let him have a palmful. *shrug*


----------



## Kelly1101

mushed table food, low-allergenic fruits and veggies, when he can sit up and shows interest. Don't stress 

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Katie8681*
> 
> "That said, babyfood meat wont' be my baby's first food, but he might well get well-cooked grass fed beef really early on in the grand scheme of things. Meat as a first food has much more to recommend it than that awful glue they've been pushing at babies for the last 40+ years."
> 
> I tasted babyfood chicken or turkey at a baby shower once, and I literally gagged. I wouldn't feed my cat that crap.
> 
> I hate how much stress I'm feeling about what foods to start DS with, and how much pressure there is to have him on solids! I agonize over it (baby led? rice cereal with breast milk? mushed table food? unmushed table food?now? in a month?) but how it's turning out is if I'm eating something healthy and he stares, I mush up a little bit on my finger and let him have a palmful. *shrug*


----------



## LiLStar

lol, oh man, when the new post notification came to my inbox, I didnt pay attention to what thread I was reading and thought for a second I was reading a thread from my DDC (November. my baby is just 7 weeks) and at first I was like, whaaat? NO! NOT NOW! Then I realized it was *not* my DDC and the baby posted about is 6 months. Heh.


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Katie8681*
> 
> I hate how much stress I'm feeling about what foods to start DS with, and how much pressure there is to have him on solids! I agonize over it (baby led? rice cereal with breast milk? mushed table food? unmushed table food?now? in a month?) but how it's turning out is if I'm eating something healthy and he stares, I mush up a little bit on my finger and let him have a palmful. *shrug*


Dude, that's pretty much what we did with both kids. I would give them banana in a mesh feeder to keep them from screaming and freaking out during meals or prep...but once they showed interested (well, I made DS2 wait until 6mo...he wanted food at 5mo) I just squished whatever we were eating into small enough bits. Easy peasy.


----------



## ziursrm

I started both my kids off on egg yolks (the allergy concerns come from the whites) because it's so nutrient dense. My mom was beyond shocked. She said everyone starts with rice! I told her if it's going to replace breast milk then I want it to be nutritious, not filler. I'm all for fruit's and veggies for early foods, avocados have always been our second food as it is also nutritionally very dense.

Most of the people I know that start with meats prepare the foods themselves and don't use the jarred stuff since it's doesn't taste good and is highly processed.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Katie8681*
> 
> "That said, babyfood meat wont' be my baby's first food, but he might well get well-cooked grass fed beef really early on in the grand scheme of things. Meat as a first food has much more to recommend it than that awful glue they've been pushing at babies for the last 40+ years."
> 
> I tasted babyfood chicken or turkey at a baby shower once, and I literally gagged. I wouldn't feed my cat that crap.
> 
> I hate how much stress I'm feeling about what foods to start DS with, and how much pressure there is to have him on solids! I agonize over it (baby led? rice cereal with breast milk? mushed table food? unmushed table food?now? in a month?) but how it's turning out is if I'm eating something healthy and he stares, I mush up a little bit on my finger and let him have a palmful. *shrug*


----------



## witchypants

Is this thread dead? 'Cause I have to say that reading it always left me feeling more confident in my choices. I guess seeing that one does not die from silly comments as well as reading clever retorts is a confidence booster! Plus this thread is almost always good for a laugh. Any new gems anyone?


----------



## minkajane

Yay! I love this thread!


----------



## GoBecGo

I got a good one a few weeks ago. I'm pregnant and still nursing my 2yo (albeit once a day and really, i have no milk, but she still sucks so whatever, it's working for us just now).

Another mum at the school gates: I take it you FINALLY weaned her then?

Me: not yet.

Other Mum: WHAT?! But don't you HAVE to wean her now!?

Me: Um, no i don't have to wean her unless she wants to wean...

Other mum: no, but surely the doctor MAKES you wean now, i mean, how will the baby grow? It will starve inside you!

Yes. It will starve inside me.


----------



## hilarye

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *GoBecGo*
> 
> I got a good one a few weeks ago. I'm pregnant and still nursing my 2yo (albeit once a day and really, i have no milk, but she still sucks so whatever, it's working for us just now).
> 
> Another mum at the school gates: I take it you FINALLY weaned her then?
> 
> Me: not yet.
> 
> Other Mum: WHAT?! But don't you HAVE to wean her now!?
> 
> Me: Um, no i don't have to wean her unless she wants to wean...
> 
> Other mum: no, but surely the doctor MAKES you wean now, i mean, how will the baby grow? It will starve inside you!
> 
> Yes. It will starve inside me.


lol! Cause the baby live off your milk somehow..


----------



## reezley

I was in a big wholesale food store the other day with my two kids(5 and 7). I attempted to let them walk (instead of ride in the cart) and see how it would go, though usually they start slowing me down, hiding behind stacks of things, touching stuff - so I then have them ride in the cart. Anyway - they were started with the "behavior" - taking something off a shelf and look at, I was trying to shop and also talk to them about how they'll need to ride in the cart, etc ... and my husband called my cell at that moment. We had about a one-minute conversation with me looking very impatient that I was on the phone while trying to deal with kids in a store-- during that minute the kids had a little scuffle over the item, apparently, and smaller son fell. He just lay on the floor. Not hurt, just lying there. I'm already embarrassed, trying to get off the phone, deal with them ..... and a middle-aged gentleman walks by, and offers this advice - "Maybe if you'd get that phone off your ear for a minute....." Thank you, completely uninformed passerby. That helps.


----------



## annaknitsspock

Yay, I'm so glad this thread is still alive! I'm working my way through the epic original right now.







to all the mamas who have had to deal with hurtful comments. Reezley, that was so rude. I hate when people make assumptions based on a one-second glimpse into your life.









I've been lucky and had very few negative interactions with strangers; in fact a man came up to me in a restaurant once and said, "I noticed your little one's feet sticking out of the booth and figured you were nursing; I just wanted to tell you that my wife nursed all of our children and it's such a wonderful thing to do." And then he showed me a picture of his wife and their many children.









I had a couple, though, from customers when I was pregnant and working in a bookstore. So, I'm 4'11. I'm a tiny person and I was toting around a massive baby belly. One customer (who was taller than me) asked me to find a book for her, so I brought her over to the section and pointed it out--it was on a high shelf. She looked at me and said, "Oh, can you get it for me?" I get that was I was the employee and she was the customer, but seriously. Get a stool yourself and get the book, don't make a tiny, obviously uncomfortable pregnant lady carry over a stool and climb up on it.

Another very nice but misinformed customer was exchanging knitting ideas with me, and I told her I was planning to knit a wool diaper cover. She was awesomely encouraging about me using cloth, but assured me, "but you have to get the rubber pants. If you're cloth diapering, you MUST use the rubber pants." It actually freaked me out until I went to our local cloth diapering store and they told me no one even makes rubber pants anymore.

I've heard lots of annoying things from my family, mainly my in-laws, but it was mostly the old, "Oh, you'll spoil her by holding her so much!" DD could never stand being still and when she was tiny she needed to be bounced and moved a lot of the time. And whenever we were at my in-law's house, she cried a lot and was really uncomfortable (not sure why--she just hated it there), so I spent most of our visits just walking and bouncing her. DH's grandmother was watching me do this once, and said "Don't you want to sit down?" and I said, "Oh no, thanks, she won't want to sit down." She shook her head and said, "I just don't remember any of my children being like that. I don't remember any of them crying." Oh, ok. Your babies literally never cried and mine is weird for doing so. Right. She's a super sweet old lady who's pretty vague sometimes, so I had to chalk it up to that, but as a stressed-out new mom it really upset me.

My MIL told me that I was making DD "not like people" by taking her back if she cried when someone else held her. However, MIL is actually pretty good most of them time. She respects me even if she doesn't understand me--once she even hastily stopped her SIL from feeding my DD ice cream when she was EIGHT MONTHS OLD. I wasn't watching with the eagle eyes I have now for random people trying to feed DD because she was barely eating solids at that point and it hadn't even occurred to me that anyone would try to feed her anything without asking me, let alone ICE CREAM.

Whoo, that felt good. Long live this thread!


----------



## MrsGregory

I'll chime in and say that the "Put the baby down." advice is my least favorite. No, no, I will put my baby down when we're damn good and ready for her to be down. Not when you say so. It is particularly infuriating when this advice comes from people who don't have children, or men. I was once told this by a man who didn't have children, and I will love his wife forever for stepping in and shutting him up.


----------



## annaknitsspock

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MrsGregory*
> 
> It is particularly infuriating when this advice comes from people who don't have children.


It really is so frustrating when parenting advice comes from childless people. my DH has a childless aunt and a childless uncle who LOVE to give parenting advice and genuinely seem to believe that DH's generation is still comprised of children who have no idea how parent. When DD was tiny we would just wrap her up in a warm blanket to make the trip between house and car, and once my mother had come to visit DH's in-laws and was holding DD as we prepared to go out. Childless uncle asked where her coat was and my mom told him we were just wrapping her up in the blanket. He full-on looked my mother, my MOTHER, in the eye and chided her, "That's not enough." Dude, having no kids and getting down on young parents is unacceptable, but getting down on a mother who is older than you and raised children to adulthood? Wow.


----------



## Smokering

Quote:


> She respects me even if she doesn't understand me--once she even hastily stopped her SIL from feeding my DD ice cream when she was EIGHT MONTHS OLD. I wasn't watching with the eagle eyes I have now for random people trying to feed DD because she was barely eating solids at that point and it hadn't even occurred to me that anyone would try to feed her anything without asking me, let alone ICE CREAM.


Try 5 months, and it was FIL, not SIL. Yup.


----------



## minkajane

Went to the store today and the checker told me about when her son was born. She said she had an ultrasound at 38 weeks and they told her that the baby was already 10 pounds. So of course, her first response was, "You're going to take the baby early then, right?" like the few ounces the baby gains in the last two weeks are going to make that much of a difference. So she had an induction at 39 weeks. Baby's weight? 7 pounds 3 ounces.


----------



## swd12422

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *minkajane*
> 
> Went to the store today and the checker told me about when her son was born. She said she had an ultrasound at 38 weeks and they told her that the baby was already 10 pounds. So of course, her first response was, "You're going to take the baby early then, right?" like the few ounces the baby gains in the last two weeks are going to make that much of a difference. So she had an induction at 39 weeks. Baby's weight? 7 pounds 3 ounces.


A friend of mine did the same thing... twice. Her babies WERE nearly that big (9+ pounds each), and it never occurred to me til you just posted this that of course the baby isn't going to be gaining 3 more pounds in a couple of weeks! :headsmack Scary how often someone just says something so matter-of-factly that it becomes normal and we don't even question it.


----------



## GoBecGo

I actually know someone that happened to and it was much worse, the baby was "already over 9lbs" and mama had had a pelvic break in her teens from a horseriding accident so they wanted to do a cs before the baby was big and/or engaging. They cs'd her son out at 37 weeks. Turned out he was more like 34 weeks, was less than 5lbs and spent a MONTH in NICU. After all that i said i would sue and she was like "but they saved us BOTH!"


----------



## A&A

I want to say to everyone IRL who told me that I'd "regret" having my dd skip a grade: She is going into 11th grade now, and I haven't regretted it yet.


----------



## dejagerw

When my mom was getting on my case about still nursing DS1 I mentioned to her that Mary would have likely nursed Jesus until he was 3 (since it was the custom at the time). "If it's good enough for Jesus, then it's good enough more my little guy". Her reply was "But look how he turned out, he died so young."


----------



## GoBecGo

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *dejagerw*
> 
> When my mom was getting on my case about still nursing DS1 I mentioned to her that Mary would have likely nursed Jesus until he was 3 (since it was the custom at the time). "If it's good enough for Jesus, then it's good enough more my little guy". Her reply was "But look how he turned out, he died so young."


I'm sorry but i had a massive LOL at this. You're poor mother, that is really barrel scraping!


----------



## annaknitsspock

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *dejagerw*
> Her reply was "But look how he turned out, he died so young."










Oh, we nursing mothers have been so selfish! How could we forget that extended breastfeeding leads to crucifixion?


----------



## mamalisa

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *dejagerw*
> 
> When my mom was getting on my case about still nursing DS1 I mentioned to her that Mary would have likely nursed Jesus until he was 3 (since it was the custom at the time). "If it's good enough for Jesus, then it's good enough more my little guy". Her reply was "But look how he turned out, he died so young."


I just can't stop laughing. Oh my gosh, I kind of love your mom.


----------



## tooraloora

My SO's mother was on me about cutting my DS' hair today (again). She gave her spiel and then asked when I intended to finally cut his hair (he's 2 this weekend, never had a hair cut, and it is a bit past his shoulders), and I told her I'd cut it when he asked for it to be cut. She informed me that it was ridiculous that I'd let him walk all over me to the extent that I won't have his hair cut until he says he wants it done.







I reminded her that I prefer it long (which is why I'm not cutting it until he asks), but I'm still letting him walk on me if I don't have his hair cut immediately.


----------



## swd12422

I would ask her why it bothers her that he's never had his hair cut. And then remind her that you're not going to let him walk all over you any more than you're going to let her walk all over you, especially when it comes to something as insignificant as hair length. Sheesh. Better to make it his choice than hers. It's not even her hair!


----------



## MrsGregory

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *dejagerw*
> 
> When my mom was getting on my case about still nursing DS1 I mentioned to her that Mary would have likely nursed Jesus until he was 3 (since it was the custom at the time). "If it's good enough for Jesus, then it's good enough more my little guy". Her reply was "But look how he turned out, he died so young."


I'm so stealing this. Except, I need it for revenge purposes, sorry to say. My mother loves bring Jesus into things. The next time I get "I'm certain Jesus would blah blah blah." I'm busting this out.


----------



## erigeron

I was at work the other day and had to explain to the manager on duty that I might need a room to pump. A little later on in my shift I saw the manager again and she asked me how old my daughter was. I said she was thirteen months old and the manager said something like "Time to get that kid off the bottle." ... Actually, she's not on a bottle at all. I pump so I can keep breastfeeding. If she drinks expressed milk, it's in a sippy cup--but if she still did drink from a bottle, who cares? Not that it's any business of anyone else's how long we breastfeed for, either. I just shrugged and said I didn't really have any plans for when to quit nursing, and it wasn't like she wasn't still benefiting from it.

Kind of minor, but amusing. Everyone has an opinion about everything.


----------



## Iridescent

We're nightowls by nature and homeschool, and my (well-meaning but not too bright) neighbour recently told me that if kids don't go to bed in the early evening and get up in the early morning, they don't get the sleep they need. Um... 8 (or 6, or 10) hours is the same whatever time of day it is!

Then the standard fare about breastfeeding past a year/when they can ask for it/etc.


----------



## RachaelM

I was on a flight away from my 2 year old last week. Chatting to the guy on the plane next to me he said "You trust your husband alone with your daughter for a week?"










Well yeah! Otherwise I think I may be having children with the wrong man, lol.


----------



## aurora_skys

Got one,

A couple months ago the repairman for my apartment complex was trying to fix my dishwasher. My 3 year old son's nails were painted some color, I don't remember. The repair guy got onto me about how I shouldn't paint his nails because it would make him gay. After a while of him going on and on about how nail polish is just for girls, I got irritated and started defending the nail painting (after all, my son was standing right there witnessing this foolishness). I told him that I didn't think it (meaning nail polish) was inherently feminine. He looked like a deer in the headlights for a moment and then said that no, he didn't think being gay was "inherited." And that was when I realized that we could not have an intelligent conversation ;P


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## minkajane

Stupidest thing I've ever heard from a medical organization: the AAP's new pro-circ recommendations.


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## philomom

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *minkajane*
> 
> Stupidest thing I've ever heard from a medical organization: the AAP's new pro-circ recommendations.


Oh, I agree. How many boys will be maimed because they want the 500$ a circ from the insurance companies? That HIV stuff they quote is so-ooo cherry picking. HiV transmission rates are lowest in countries like Sweden and Japan, where men have intact genitals.


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## annaknitsspock

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *minkajane*
> 
> Stupidest thing I've ever heard from a medical organization: the AAP's new pro-circ recommendations.


Truer words have never been spoken.

I had to share the one I got yesterday:

We share a duplex with a nice but rough guy downstairs who just had several rehab trips to recover from alcoholism (he has been sober now for a few months, so yay him!).

DH and I were arriving home from work yesterday and he stopped us, telling us he had something for us and asked, "You don't have a potty chair yet, do you?" When we said no, he went into his condo and brought out an ancient wooden potty chair with a strap to LOCK BABIES IN (which our neighbor gleefully pointed out). After DH and I had politely accepted it and thanked him, he said,

"And I'm not using it anymore--I used to keep it in the kitchen and use it when I was too drunk to make it to the bathroom, but I'm sober now!"
















I have no idea if he was joking, but needless to say my jaw hit the floor! He's a nice guy, but what a weird thing to say!


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## bluedaisy

i have a few...

I have an almost 7 month old son, who has just gotten into the beginning of separation anxiety - a friend was holding him and I left the room for a few minutes. He started crying, and when I came back he reached for me and stopped crying once I was holding him. My friend said, "wow, it's like he knows you!" Um, yeah - I'm his mother. I've only been with him almost every hour since he was born!

We were visiting a church and there was a 3 month old girl being dedicated - the pastor was having them promise to do the typical things - raise them in church, teach them Christian scriptures and values,etc. Then, trying to make a joke but also quite seriously he asked the father if he promised to cane his daughter when she misbehaves, since it's hard for men to cane their daughters. As a disclaimer, this happened in a culture where probably 99% of parents use physical discipline and some schools use it as well, and obedience is extremely important - but it still shocked me that when presented with a sweet baby girl, making the father promise before God to hit her was the thing that came to the pastors mind.


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