# Cesarean support circle V (December 12)



## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

_[Admin note: The posts here were split from the previous Cesarean support circle thread IV to start this new thread. Please continue your discussion here. Thanks! ~Cynthia]_

Before I had my first child I had read probably dozens of books on natural childbirth and the woes of having a cesarean. I read the Silent Knife while I was pregnant. Sheila Kitzingers books were on my night stand. I knew more about the ills of csection than anyone. I knew I definitely didnt want one. I was as die hard as they get. Mother Nature has a way of putting your life and thoughts into perspective.








Around 34 weeks I found out my baby was in a transverse breech. I was told of my options, I went home and began reading, crying, grieving. I talked to a midwife and I began to do all kinds of things to turn my baby. For the next three weeks I laid upside down on a ironing board (no fun), had massages, meditated, reflexology -- I did it all minus the webster technique by a chiro. At 37 weeks I went in convinced my baby had turned. Nope, she was still breech and now it wasnt exactly transverse, she was in there funny though because by now my ribs were broken.







So at 38 weeks I made the decision to have an ECV, then changed my mind and decided to have an elective csection but when I got to the hospital I refused tto prep for the csection and demanded to speak with my doctor. She came and I told her I really wanted a vaginal delivery. She said my only chance was an ECV and then as soon as the baby turned I would have to be induced. This sounded better than a csection to me. I was desperate for a vaginal delivery -- I was full of fear and judgement about cesarean births and I went against my gut instincts to try to achieve the ideal birth. It cost me so much.
The sad thing is I have watched many women do the same thing. While I know plenty of people who have csections which could have been prevented or were unnecessary -- I come across just as many women who really did need a csection for whatever reason.
VBAC is such a personal thing. Even though risks of rupture are so small, I can understand why some would not risk it. I am one who definitely would not have risked it during my last pregnancy. I support VBAC and I really hope itsourfamily gets her VBAC but I believe she is wise for making an alternative plan.

While the ACOG and some medical facilities and professionals dumb down the risks of cesarean and do not allow VBACS, instilling fear into women you have a magazine that is supposed to support women, their babies, a way of parenting that is based a lot on instincts instilling fear, hype and their own brand of propaganda.









As you can all see there is a reason my name is OnTheFence!


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## TOmomma (Oct 19, 2003)

I am new to this board and I thought this thread was pro-VBAC. At first I was dismayed that had chosen the wrong thread to read, but by the time I got to the end of it I was really touched by all the people on here who have had c/bs.

I used to think that anyone who has a c/b was a "wimp" and couldn't take the work of labour (it's called labour for a reason). Then I went into labour. I wanted a home birth, all natural, lots of flowers and roses and soft music... HA! What I got was three days of hard labour at home with minimal progression, gave up and went to the hospital, had every intervention in the book (pitocin, water broken, fetal monitoring, vacuum, forceps) and FINALLY a (I guess emergency) c/b. (my dh and the baby have VERY big heads!)

It was the worst experience of my life. When they told me I had a boy I said "good thing, because I'm never doing this again". (Now, of course, I want another.:LOL )

I think the reason I was so upset by the whole experience was because I was so unprepared. I refused to consider the possibility that things wouldn't go the way I wanted. If I had thought through the possible scenarios I would not have had to deal with the changes in plan when I was already under huge amounts of stress. We are lead to believe that a c/b is "giving up" and totally avoidable. In my case, my baby (and possible me) would be dead if not for a cesarean. Hmmm.... is there any choice there?

I want a VBAC the next time, so hopefully I can experience how a baby is "supposed" to be born. However, I will be prepared (much better prepared!) in case it doesn't work out, and totally accepting of that reality.

There doesn't seem to be a middle ground on this issue, people think you are granola and should want the natural choice regardless of the circumstances, otherwise you are a prima donna and are chosing c/b for "scheduling" reasons or other frivolous reasons. No one seems to discuss the valid reasons for choosing a c/b.

I applaud all you women who are having babies regardless of your method of delivery. Don't let anyone belittle your choices.

MDC, give us our own subforum!!!


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

Welcome TOmamma! We are a pro-VBAC bunch, just so happens we are also pro-repeat c-section







We want whatever is BEST for babies and their mothers, with no agenda toward pushing women's choices in that regard







But, you read the thread, so you know that









Yes, we are a darn radical bunch on here, asking that our voices be heard as women with children that we have made the best possible choices for, and for one reason or another (sometimes our choices, sometimes not) we have had c-sections. One thing we are not is uninformed- so feel free to throw out any questions or concerns you have.

I hope and pray that those who want to VBAC are successful, and I also beleive that many can be, you educate yourself, you decide what risks you are willing to take (with any birth), and you do what is best for you and your child. You will get lots of support in the VBAC section to help you make your wishes a reality, and we are a place where you can get support if you want a back-up plan (like It'sOurFamily) or a shoulder to cry on, or people to commiserate, and support you no matter what birth option you chose in the end, or a choice you may not get to make yourself.

Best wishes to you, and thanks for seeing us


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## KKmama (Dec 6, 2001)

Welcome, TOmomma! I totally agree with what Patty said. And I really identify with a lot of what you wrote in your post.

And I'll say it again... I'd really like a VBAC with this baby, but I also know that if I am not mentally prepared for the possibility of a C, the (hopefully unlikely) C would feel pretty traumatic. And I want to be able to hit the ground running once the baby is born; to me, that means not feeling traumatized by the birth, however it happens.

Changing the subject a bit... I just wondered how many of us hanging out on this thread are currently pg, when we're due, and what our plans are? I'm due in May, and planning for a VBAC...


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:

_Originally posted by TOmomma_
*
It was the worst experience of my life. When they told me I had a boy I said "good thing, because I'm never doing this again". (Now, of course, I want another.:LOL )

I think the reason I was so upset by the whole experience was because I was so unprepared. I refused to consider the possibility that things wouldn't go the way I wanted. If I had thought through the possible scenarios I would not have had to deal with the changes in plan when I was already under huge amounts of stress. We are lead to believe that a c/b is "giving up" and totally avoidable. In my case, my baby (and possible me) would be dead if not for a cesarean. Hmmm.... is there any choice there?

I want a VBAC the next time, so hopefully I can experience how a baby is "supposed" to be born. However, I will be prepared (much better prepared!) in case it doesn't work out, and totally accepting of that reality.

*
Lise, Wow thanks for the great posts to this thread. I was much like you. I didnt prepare at all for my first csection. I was so convinced not me. I mean I am tall with big boobs and hips and thought babies would just slide right out. I have a high tolerance to pain and hate medical intervention. So having a csection was foreign.

When I found out my daughter was breech and that I might have to have a csection only one person gave me an idea of what it would be like. Everyone else was telling my how I could avoid it, how that my body would work in time, blah blah blah. A few weeks later I was being carved like a fish and feeling it all with very little support from my crunchy friends. I did feel like a failure.









I like you was thinking no more kiddos, we did try to get pregnant again but after failed attempts, miscarriage and the nightmare I would have to have another cesarean we adopted (hes a csection baby too) I found myself pregnant nine months later and had to face my fears. I was supported by very few people to have a repeat csection. I was asked all the time about VBAC. I REALLY WANTED TOO!!! I even thought about HBAC but I knew this wasnt realistic. I had to fight to keep my pregnancy from the very beginning. I threw up for 36 weeks. I had to be on progesterone, I had contractions at 14 weeks onward, and I began spilling protein and having high blood pressure. Of course that was my fault. I changed my already good diet, drank protien shakes a friend brought me, took extra this and that but my BP didnt change. Yet everything you read here and other places PIH, GD, and preeclampsia are all caused by something the mother does or doesnt do. My OB finally told me on one of my final appointments that chit just happens and to not allow those people to judge me and that sometimes there is no defined reason as to why women get pre eclampsia. I beat myself up for weeks.

I hope with your next pregnancy you can achieve the birth you want. Just know that if you find yourself facing similar circumstances there is those of us who have had good experience planning and making cesarean birth plans. My last one was wonderful. I had a wonderful recovery and experience.


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:

_Originally posted by KKmama_
*
Changing the subject a bit... I just wondered how many of us hanging out on this thread are currently pg, when we're due, and what our plans are? I'm due in May, and planning for a VBAC...*
I am not pregnant. I am considering another pregnancy at this time. The recent news of my aunts hysterectomy may be pushing up the time frame to try for baby number 4. I will even be considering having my uterus removed if I have a planned csection.
I have a long line of women in my family that have ovarian, uterine, and breast cancer. I love my reproductive organs, but frankly I dont want them to be the death of me, plus my uterus is deformed anyway and I am only willing to do one more full term pregnancy with it. It might not be ideal to have a hysterectomy after having a baby but why go through two surgeries if I can get it all in one! They only thing I would hate was having to do the GA and not have the epidural block I had with my son and the long term painrelief with the PCAP I had through my epidural cath. I might would be willing to do this though to save myself from misery later.
Decisions, Decisions.
I just love this thread !!!


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## Megs Mom (Mar 19, 2002)

Quote:

_Originally posted by KKmama_
*Changing the subject a bit... I just wondered how many of us hanging out on this thread are currently pg, when we're due, and what our plans are? I'm due in May, and planning for a VBAC...*
See my sig.







Patrick is footling so I am planning for the possibility of a c/b.


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

I am currently pregnant and I am due Jan 31. I am trying to find a new care provider....

I have a lead on a guy that 2 of my friends have used. One is very non-intervention and the other was induced early 2x for supposed big size (her babe born in October this year was 10lbs 13.5oz







)

So I figure I'll go in with my birth plan and say...here ya go, ya got any problems with it. And then go from there.

Oh, and welcome to TOmama. like jess said. We aren't anti vbac...we are pro-making your own decision!


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

I am pregnant too, due same day as IOF- January 31, but as I mentioned, I am planning a repeat c-section and have scheduled it for January 23 (bright and early in the morning







), it will be my 3rd c-section, and all of my children will be born that way, due to a deformed pelvis. (I did want a VBAC with my second child, but it just isn't in the cards for me).


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

ooooo... I bet an early morning c/b is much much better than mine was. It was after 9pm! He was born and all dh and I wanted to do was go to bed!


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## ren_ (Dec 3, 2003)

This is sort of long...sorry









Hey, just found this thread. I'm happy to see it since I was starting to feel odd reading all of the happy home birth and unmedicated stories. I just had my baby girl back in September and had to have a c/s and am already debating whether to try a vbac or another c/s with the next one (hopefully wont have to make the decision for a few years) My doctors told me that the way they cut I could try a vbac if I choose to but never mentioned anything about risks. They just said that I'd probably end up having to have another c/s.
I have no idea if mine was completely necessary. It probably wouldnt have been if they hadnt used so much medication and such and had me on ivs and with a catheter and all so I couldnt move much, but then again my baby's head was sideways and she wouldn't progress. I think something might be sideways inside me...I'm not sure, just know that cervical checks really really hurt and one at 37 weeks made me start bleeding so after that they didnt do anymore until I was in labor. When I was in labor one of the nurses had me make a fist and hold my hips at an angle and it didnt hurt as much that way.
Anyway, I'm really debating now since I wouldnt want to try a vbac and have it turn out that something is tilted and have it cause something to happen to my baby. I'd wanted a home birth but since my husband wasn't at all comfortable with that I went through all the doctors appointments and such for him, but made him come with me for almost every one of them. My water broke on the morning of the 19th of sept...but contractions didnt start so I put off going to the hospital or even calling...I had my mom with me and didnt need nurses to tell me anything...that evening we decided to go in anyway and once i got there the fluid stopped temporarily so they couldnt prove it was amniotic fluid... turns out some test they do cant tell the difference between urine and amniotic fluid?! so they sent me home, as if I had just been peeing on myself for 12 hours straight...and set up an appointment for the next day, or to come back if it started again or contractions started. They did later that night but I wasnt going to go and have them tell me to go home again so...I went to sleep instead and went in the next morning. The next morning I was dilated 1 to 2 cm, contractions had started so they checked me into a room.
They induced (although they didnt call it that at that point of course) the labor. Then decided it was going too fast and gave me more junk to slow it down. Then induced it again, with some tablet thing they inserted. I didnt really know to refuse for them to do anything and my mom left the decisions up to me, so... if they tried that the next time I would know better. Anyway, eventually they said there was no progression, it was taking too long to dilate, etc. and that I needed a c/s because the baby's head was sideways. I guess she didn't want to come out of there...cant say that I blame her sometimes








Anyway, are there good links to read about the risks of vbac to help me make an informed decision (in a few years!!) ? I really am worried about the dangers associated with vbac. Is it possible to have a homebirth after a c/s or will most midwives feel that the risks are too high??


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## Hikaru (Sep 1, 2002)

TOmamma and ren_, welcome. Glad you found us and thank you for sharing your stories.

None of us are anti-vbac or pro-repeat cesarian. We're all pro-baby and pro-mama though








A couple of things....I wanted to mention, as LadyLee educated me when I first found this thread, that some of us here prefer the term cesarian birth instead of cesarian section...don't know about you but I am NOT a citrus fruit, LOL. If you end up with a baby, you had a BIRTH, period, no matter how that birth came about.
Another thing, for some of us, yourselves included I'm sure,cesarian was not really a "choice",
or rather it was choosing to live or choosing not to seriously damage yourself and/or your baby.


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

I was just wanting to bump this up because I dont want our little support thread disappearing.









Welcome ren!

If you suspect your uterus could be slightly "off" before attempting another pregnancy consider an hsg. I have a deformed uterus and my first child was a weird transverse breech, my second child is adopted, the third child is homegrown like the first and he was head down, but his head was at a weird angle and his shoudler was presenting agains the cervix. He was like that for several weeks in the end. I doubt he could have been a vaginal birth. Heck they had a hard time unlodging his head during my c/b.

Kim


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## TOmomma (Oct 19, 2003)

Hey Kim, what are you, my evil twin???

Quote:

I mean I am tall with big boobs and hips and thought babies would just slide right out. I have a high tolerance to pain and hate medical intervention. So having a csection was foreign.
EXACTLY! And...

Quote:

I doubt he could have been a vaginal birth. Heck they had a hard time unlodging his head during my c/b.
They had to push my son backwards HARD just to get him out of the birth canal.

LOVE this thread. Thanks to all for the greetings. There's a SLIM chance I might be pregnant (I'll know for sure on Christmas day! What a great present, or disappointment.) so this might become a more immediate concern for me.

Fortunately I have a great midwife who is very suppportive of my choices. I'd like a HVBAC. but hubby won't go for the HB part this time (can't blame him) and we'll have to play the rest by ear.

I've gone back to my childhood - my motto is Be Prepared!


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Hi Lise,

Maybe I am your evil twin. :LOL

My husband would not go for a HB at this juncture either. He wasnt too fond of the idea to begin with but said he would support me, of course this was before my first csection. O well.

Kim


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## Megs Mom (Mar 19, 2002)

My update: I am dilated 1 cm and my cervix has moved from posterior to anterior. Patrick is still breech. OB thinks my kidney stone is gone, I don't. So...we will do an u/s on the kidney next week. If it's still there we will do an amnio to see if baby lungs are mature. They are both about 4-1/2 pounds today. If lungs are OK, will schedule my c-birth for 36 weeks. If stone is gone, c-birth will be closer to 37 weeks.


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## Hikaru (Sep 1, 2002)

Meg's Mom..wow, already dilated?? I never dilated more than 3 cm. aven after 34 hours of contractions.You'll be in my thoughts and prayers, hope it all goes well.

OnThe Fence and TOmomma, my DH was totally against a homebirth too (which is just as well, because we would have ended up having to call an ambulance and been taken to god knows what awful hospital). He said that I'd be in the middle of labor and have to do CPR on him! In all my anger and need to blame someone for my first cesarian birth he was one of the main targets. We nearly got divorced in the first year of my sons life.
It has been a long struggle but I can safely say now that I would rather have cesarians with him right there in the same room (they have no problem with that at the clinic where both my babies were born) that any other kind of birth without his support. If I had had an unassisted homebirth the second time
(midwives here in Japan would not work with me as a VBAC) I would have had to do it as a single mother.


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## MamaOui (Aug 9, 2002)

I think I have only lurked on this thread, but I have posted at MDC about my c-birth experience and my VBAC experience. I am planning a water birth VBAC for my babe. She is due at the end of January.

However, I have a c-birth plan and I will never have the attitude that it can't happen to me. I have been doing a lot of reading, yoga, positive thinking and meditation, and I have been having great dialogue with my dh and midwives about my next birth.

I wish all of you the best and it's great to see everyone here gathering information and support.


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

I am so completely confused right now. I know if i don't try and vbac I'll never let myself go of it. I'll always be thinking...what if. I feel like I was cheated out of so much with Tracy and I want something better than I had with his delivery. I know I need to listen to my body when the time comes but right now I can't stop listening to my heart. My mind is saying screw-it and plan the c/b. The rest of me is aching for the birth exp I didn't have.

I don't know what to do. I haven't really "prepared" for a vbac. I can't get up the energy or desire to look at any books or do anymore research (I haven't done that much anyway). I don't know why I jsut cannot get into this.


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## Hikaru (Sep 1, 2002)

it's our family, my heart goes out to you.
I identify with your wanting to plan the outcome. Like me, you probably want to have some control over your birth experience and feel like you didn't have that with your previous birth.
Can you try to just be open to the possibility of a repeat cesarian if it becomes necessary, while still trying for a VBAC? Do a little research, and at the very least, insist that your labor start naturally unless it's an emergency. That's what I did with my DD's birth in October, and I didn't feel like a failure as I did three years ago when DS was born. It's hard to not know how it will turn out
but that way you'll have all the bases covered, so to speak, and know that you did your best.

Hope this helps.


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

Luckily I have myself completely prepared for a repeat. I just know I have to try...kwim?


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## Hikaru (Sep 1, 2002)

I totally kwim







Good luck on the VBAC, I really hope it happens for you.
And don't let anyone tell you that you have a negative attitude for
being mentally prepared for a repeat cesarian...it could happen to anyone and it's helpful to know what to expect if it does and try to make it a positive experience. That isn't negative, it's just realistic. When my DS was born, I wasn't prepared at all, hadn't even entertained the possibility, and the shock and disappointement was really hard to get over.


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:

_Originally posted by its_our_family_
*I am so completely confused right now. I know if i don't try and vbac I'll never let myself go of it. I'll always be thinking...what if. I feel like I was cheated out of so much with Tracy and I want something better than I had with his delivery. I know I need to listen to my body when the time comes but right now I can't stop listening to my heart. My mind is saying screw-it and plan the c/b. The rest of me is aching for the birth exp I didn't have.

I don't know what to do. I haven't really "prepared" for a vbac. I can't get up the energy or desire to look at any books or do anymore research (I haven't done that much anyway). I don't know why I jsut cannot get into this.*










I have been there and done that and now have the t-shirt.
I am going to be really honest, please no throwing eggs.

I still fantisize about my ideal birth. I sometimes wonder if I get pregnant again, if I have another baby, the next time I might just....... I know it is not going to happen for me -- not just physically but spiritually. I have had to come to terms with my cesarean births on a spiritual level that is so hard to describe and I know that with Jack in my mind and in my heart that planning and having a repeat c/b was the best decision for myself and my baby.

I know there are women who just plan repeat csections and go with the flow of things, but I know so many more women now, that know the risks of csections, and make a choice to repeat that method of birth over a VBAC for so many reasons -medical, emotional, etc. The thing is IOF, you need to make this decision for you. Why haven't you prepared for a VBAC? Is there something in you telling you something different? Is there any fears or concerns holding you back? You say in your mind you want to do one thing, your heart another but what does you intuition and gut say to you.

My aunt, bless her soul, gave me some sound advice. Go with your gut -- it is rarely wrong. The day I went into the hospital to have a planned cesarean with my daughter I chickened out. I was afraid of everything I read (silent knife for one), I was afraid of the OR, I was afraid I would die and I went against my inner voice that said "this is okay, you can have a csection" and said "hell no, lets do this and that and see if I can have that vaginal birth" Some may say I was resolved but I wasnt, my gut said to do the csection, my heart said vaginal and I denied my gut and it cost me big.

I planned, I made peace, I meditated, I prepared myself in every way for a repeat csection. I felt at peace about this decision. Not to say I wouldn't have loved to VBAC but my planned, thought out cbirth brought me peace and I felt very capable of handling anything. And I did. It was a great experience, a wonderful delivery, a wonderful baby moon -- and I felt very good about my decision with no regrets.


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

My gut tells me to plan the c/b...today it does anyway. tomorrow it'll say I can vbac.

I jsut have to get my ducks in a row and sit down and talk with my dh. Up until now its been about what I want and how feel and such. I really need to see where he stands and what he feels in his heart.

I feel so stupid cause I should have figured this out months ago....


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

IOF

6-8 weeks from now, you will be holding your baby. How he gets here is only partially in your hands (As you know), I think talking it through with your dh, trying hard to really listen to your insides, and prayer will really help you through.

Are you frightened of rupture, is that what is holding you back, or are you frightened that you will try for a vaginal birth again and don't want to "fail"? There is no "failure" in childbirth, none, no matter how anyone in the "natural" community makes you feel. You are a healthy mama with a healthy baby, 6-8 weeks from now, when you can still say the same, you will be truly blessed, so don't take that for granted.

I hope you can get some peace with all of this really soon, and enjoy these last few weeks of pregnancy.


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

I have a healthy "concern" for rupture. I know it is remotely possible but I have no fear of it happening.

I think I'm mainly having issues with "failing" again. I'm afraid I won't be able to handle it. I'm afraid of what I went through with Tracy. I was induced so I know that the labor I did have was probably not typical...it was hell from the pitocin....

I need to talk to dh....


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## MamaOui (Aug 9, 2002)

Quote:

think I'm mainly having issues with "failing" again. I'm afraid I won't be able to handle it. I'm afraid of what I went through with Tracy. I was induced so I know that the labor I did have was probably not typical...it was hell from the pitocin....
I had no pit with my c-sec, but I had it with my VBAC and it was hell. So I guess what I think the relevance of telling you my experience is that every labor and birth is different (which I am sure you already know, but sometimes it's nice to be reminded). I also realize now that the pit I had may not have been necessary or at least the amount used was not necessary.

I had the same fear of "failure" with my VBAC and it is quite common for women in labor with their VBAC baby to flash back to their c-sec experience. I did in the middle of labor. I think it's a good start to express those fears and let them out. Just know that you are not alone.

If you honestly feel like a VBAC is really possible for you, then it's never too late to try. Or at least you might consider letting your labor start to happen and then seeing how you feel at the time. If you have a plan for both situations, maybe that could help you let go a bit. If I remember correctly, you have a doula and she could really help advocate for you and maybe allow you a bit a emotional and physical "space" to let labor begin and see where it goes from there.

Whatever you decide, I hope that you can make peace with your decision. I wish you a healthy and happy baby. If you have any VBAC questions, feel free to PM me as I don't want to get too "preachy" or "gung ho" on this particular thread. I realize the intention of this thread so I don't want to get to far OT. (although I probably already have).


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## Missgrl (Nov 18, 2001)

Sometimes the fear of ''fear'' is worse than it really it is. I mean,
sometimes you can build up the fear so much in your head that it is
way more amplified than the reality would be.

Try to distinguish what you are afraid of more. Are you afraid more
of the failing or the not trying for the VBAC? What would make you
more content? Trying the VBAC and possibly failing......or not trying
at all?

Tough questions?

But the reality is like what jess said "you'll be holding that beautiful
baby no matter how he gets here" and that's what counts.


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

Thanks ladies--

I'm really trying to evaluate why I want to vbac to begin with. I'm not sure if its a "yes, this is what I should do" or a "I'll show everyone that I can"

Its like what everyone else has said. We do everything else as natural as possible and I can't even give birth! I was sitting on the couch last night and my contractions over about 4 hours went from 15 minutes apart to 10 minutes apart to 5 minutes apart, and started gaining in intensity. But then I realized that they were real contractions not bh but they were nowhere near my cervix! I've had contractions galor and no change in my cervix (which is fine since I'm only 34 weeks) But for some reaosn I jsut keep thinking I'll just end up with another c/b.

I talked to dh about it and how he felt and he said, "Do I really have a say in it. I thought this is what you wanted" I was really surprised. I thought he would be totally gungho for vbac but now I'm not so sure. He asked if I go another 3 weeks and then say...I want a repeat if that can happen. I told him that at any point, even in labor, I can change my mind and have a c/b. He seemed to like that answer. I'm planning on talking to him more about it but not today...maybe it'll be good pillow talk









I know my mom will be much more confortable with a repeat but my mil will be disappointed even though she would never say it.

So, now I'm trying to figure out my motivation to even attempt vbac. Right now I'm feeling it is a pride issue.

I need to tell my dh the good thigns about planning. We could be more specific about how we want our c/b to go and end up happy with it in the end.

BTW...if the plan a repeat how early do they do it normally? I know this might sound bad but if we do decide to repeat Jan 20 would be perfect...11 days before my edd.


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

IOF- How are things going? Have you come to any decisions yet? Hoping you've found peace with all of it









Now, here's my thought for today- I wish I were "mainstream" sometimes. I know "mainstream" (for lack of a better word) women who have CHOSEN c-birth, for all kinds of reasons not medically related. I hear the occasional person say, "Oh, you are so lucky to have a c-section, no labor, vagina stays nice and tight, no work, scheduled birth, etc."

Why don't I look at it all that way? Why don't I get all excited that I am "lucky enough" to have a c-birth?

I am trying to get my mind around this in the next 4.5 weeks, I want to go into my birth just relaxed, happy, excited, trusting, etc. But I picture myself outside the OR (this is a scene from right before ds was born), telling the nurse I needed to sit up on the stretcher, and desperately looking for the easiest escape route.

I really wish I could look at it the way some of these people I talk to do.

I do need to at least get over the anxiety- if not become terribly excited about the way the baby comes out.

Maybe these people are just more trusting of the medical establishment?


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## Star Baby (Jan 24, 2002)

hi there...

i haven't posted to this discussion as of yet, but the time is drawing very niegh indeed. friday, i will have a c-section to bring my son into the world.

i had an emergency with my first child and now, having moved to a MUCH smaller town, haven't been given any option but repeat c. we truly went back and forth about it and have decided to go with the section. i'm still a bit heart broken, i think i would have made a great vbac candidate, but alas, it has gone the other way.

so 8am, friday, day after christmas. i'm so excited, but tonight, i'm just achy. this baby is all over thep lace and part of me worries he'll try to debut before friday. hopefully he'll stay put.

i do find myself thinking the worst. it's tough after educating yourself thoroughly about natural birth to do the repeat c. tough is an understatement. i know too much! do you ever feel that way? i guess i'm just writing to share, get some well wishes and to thank you for supporting each other with this less desirable option.

thanks,
star baby


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

I will be thinking of you on Friday, and wishing you the very best birth experience, and lots of joy with your new baby.


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## Hikaru (Sep 1, 2002)

Star baby, my thoughts will be with you too. As I'm typing this you're probbly already holding your baby..I look forward to reading your birth story.


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## simonee (Nov 21, 2001)

just ambling in here... realizing how close IOF is to giving birth...

IOF, my cb with dd1 was a lot like yours. I vbac'ed last summer, because that's basically what ppl are expected to do here. it went fine, there was no expectation pattern toward cb from anybody so the issue never came up.

you can have both ways, you know. unless you develop complications, you can go into labor, and the delivery can be by cb if necessary. to me, being in labor was the big deal, that's where i conquered the forced cb i had before. my delivery wasn't unaided since i had a big epi, but it's okay. i learned that my body will go into labor and open up, and that my babies can be born the way I want it.

that's the difference, you know. my first cb wasn't done the way i wanted it. you can have a cb now if that's the way you want it. no failure involved htere.

good luck


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

I posted ont he wrong thread so this is cut paste from there....

Thanks for so much support through all of this. I feel like a whiner but it is easier to whine to you than dh sometimes...

We will have a tentative c/b date of 2/8/04 this will make me 41wks and some days(I still have to schedule it). Dh have discussed it and if our baby has not made an appearance by 41 weeks I will have a repeat. I talked to the ob and she said that they love vbac moms. However, she wanted me to be aware that if I am visibly in labor for more than 8 hours and I have stalled out in pregression that they will siggest a repeat. Dh and I discussed it and we believe that if my body stalls out we will agree to a repeat but it will probably be in less than 8 hours.

They prefer repeat moms to not have a trial of labor but they will allow me to.

We are much happier here because at any point in labor or before I can change my mind and jsut have the repeat. I did not have this option at the birthing cener or with the midwives. Well, I did but then my care would be immediately turned over to an ob, whom I have never met.

So, we are much much happier where we are!!


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## Hikaru (Sep 1, 2002)

it's our family, I am so glad that you've got a plan you're happy with. and very soon you'll have a new baby to hold!
I wish you a positive birth experience and a healthy baby.

Hikaru


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

I'm back from vacation from the evil WDW. :LOL

I am glad that we are finally going to get our subforum. I just hope it doesnt turn into a us against them thread and that we can really get some supportive people to post there.

IOF -- I am glad you have a plan and have made some decisions reguarding your future birth. Whatever happens, I hope you get what you want and need from it.

Kim


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## Missgrl (Nov 18, 2001)

Quote:

_Originally posted by its_our_family_
*Luckily I have myself completely prepared for a repeat. I just know I have to try...kwim?*
I"m glad you made a decision! Like I said before, you sound like you'll
be proud of yourself if you at least try and "fail" rather than not trying
at all!

I wish you tons of good luck


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

Thanks! I have great signs as far as signs go!!

This baby has dropped and I believe is engaged. This never happened with Tracy! He never ever dropped. He was always floating. My contactions have also increased in frequency and duration...not to mention intensity! When I have them half of them I cannot walk thorugh. I have to stand or squat or sit! I take that as a good thing!

I have an appt on tuesday and I'll see if anything is happening!


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## Hikaru (Sep 1, 2002)

Wow, sounds to me like your baby is getting ready to be born!
How wonderful. Keep us posted!


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## Megs Mom (Mar 19, 2002)

How about a couple of Christmas Eve babies?

Patrick Nicholas 4 lb. 7 oz. 17.5" 10:54 pm
Catherine Constance 4 lb. 8 oz. 17" 10:55 pm

Home with me today, on Day 4 of their tiny lives.

http://www.baylorhealth.com/webapps/...x?babyid=47251


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## danaalex (Mar 19, 2003)

i have never posted to any of the c/section support threads before but i found this one particularly interesting. my personal opinion on birthing is this...

-- the way you deliver a child does not determine what kind of parent you will be or are already. nor does it determine how your children will be. i believe that we, as moms, all have one goal! that is to have our children enter the world ALIVE, however this takes place............

so, however you choose to deliver your children I SUPPORT YOU!!!!! i know that i would do ANYTHING to ensure the safe delivery of my children, ANYTHING!!!!!!

megs mom-- congrats on the safe delivery of your beautiful twins!!!! a month early and perfect in every way!!!


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## Hikaru (Sep 1, 2002)

Megs Mom, congratulations! That is wonderful news!
How's breastfeeding going with twins?

danaalex, thanks for your words of support.
I just need to point out that for many of us here on this thread, having a cesarian is not really a "choice" or rather, it can be a choice between life and death (or major damage of some sort)
for us and /or our babies, so in that sense it isn't really a choice, kwim?


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## Megs Mom (Mar 19, 2002)

The bfing is awful b/c they are so tiny and can't do it well. Each of my breasts is about four times the size of each of their heads. We are currently doing the (try to) nurse/supplement/pump routine, repeat every two hours leaving time for nothing else. I know others have been there. It will get easier...


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

I will only say this b/c I know you are a Catholic- prayers to the Blessed Virgin, mother of all mothers may help, it helped me a whole lot, and stick with it, as you said, it will work itself out, but I am sure right now it is very hard and frustrating, that's where Mary can help you.


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## Megs Mom (Mar 19, 2002)

oh, patty, thank you for the reminder. i will address to our lady of la leche.


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:

_Originally posted by Megs Mom_
*How about a couple of Christmas Eve babies?

Patrick Nicholas 4 lb. 7 oz. 17.5" 10:54 pm
Catherine Constance 4 lb. 8 oz. 17" 10:55 pm

Home with me today, on Day 4 of their tiny lives.

http://www.baylorhealth.com/webapps/...x?babyid=47251*
They are adorable, I hope you had an uneventful birth. You have to tell us all about it and them!

Kim


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## Megs Mom (Mar 19, 2002)

It was rather uneventful, fortunately. I'll be posting a birth story as soon as I get my hands-free pumping bra in a few days!


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## Hikaru (Sep 1, 2002)

I am not Catholic but I believe in the power of prayer too. Invoking the blessings of Our Lady of La Leche is a great idea.

Actually the whole religious thing.....after my first unexpected cesarian I actually was mad at the gods, I felt like I was being punished because I didn't get my wonderful natural birth experience. Took me awhile to get over that, to get my ego out of it, and realize that it was a lesson in acceptance, and the fact that I and my babies are alive and helthy is a gift for which I'm thankful every day. It took me a long time to come around to feeling that way, however.


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## Missgrl (Nov 18, 2001)

Megs Mom~~~Beautiful babies! What a joy! I have a twin sister and the thought of having my own twins would be so awesome. Thanks for sharing the pics and I look forward to your birth story!


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## Megs Mom (Mar 19, 2002)

Thanks, Missgrl!


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

HI all, I had wanted to share an interesting thing that happened with dd on Christmas Eve.

We were watching Nestor the Long Eared Christmas Donkey (great flick for any Christian mamas looking for a Christmas special that is about Jesus' birth







).

Anyway, Nestor is the donkey that carries Mary safely to Bethlehem. So, they arrive in Bethlehem, and my dd, 3.5 years, says- "Ut oh mama- do they have knives in Bethlehem?" and I am totally confused I say "what?", she says, "Mary is going to have the baby Jesus, do they have a knife to get him out?".

Now, I have explained to her a number of times that most babies come out of their mama's vaginas, and that the way our babies come out is not normal, but it is what we need to do for them to be safe. I have told her that she will most likely not have to have her babies "cut out", and that they will come through her vagina, I guess she just doesn't get it. I am sure that with time and age she willl understand better, I just think it's funny, the way it happens for us must be "the way".

Dh laughed and said, "Joseph was a carpenter, but I don't think he could've pulled that off":LOL

Another interesting note to this, I thought when I first old her how she was born, how her brother will be born, etc. that she would be freaked out about the Dr. cutting mommy. She thought it was pretty cool though, and wanted to know why daddy couldn't just do it, how would they put me back together (when I said stapler, she thought again that daddy could just use his). I am surprised how well kids take certain things, YK?


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

Jess--It is amazing how well they take things! That was a cute story!!

I had another visit yesterday. I did not like this gal nearly as wekk as the other. This ob isn't as pro-vbac as the others. She gae me some line about...well if you expect us to LET you vbac you have to give up some of what you want...I asked about cfm... Then she was like WELL, your chance of vbac is greatly diminished because of WHY you had your c/b. Sicne you were ftp it will probably happen again!

I told her I was a falied induction but she didn't buy it







:


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## witchbaby (Apr 17, 2003)

(i have a sleeping baby in my arms, so i'm taking the shortcut and posting my already-written birth story as my intro...)
At 9am on December 20, 2003, we arrived at St. Mary's Hospital for the administering of Cytotec to my cervix to induce labor. Though it was five days early, because of persistent prodromal labor (early labor that drags on with little to no effect on the cervix) my midwife, Janet Grant, and I decided inducing early would be beneficial-- at least to my sanity.
After about a half hour non-stress test, Janet arrived to apply the Cytotec. My cervix, which, like a steel door, had been refusing to change, actually had-- I'd finally arrived at about 2.5 cm. After receiving the Cytotec, we were sent home for 4 hours; we were to return around 2 to be checked and, hopefully, admitted.
I started having contractions about two hours later. They weren't too hard but got progressively stronger as the day went on. I could still talk through them but was getting more and more uncomfortable.
There were no birthing rooms when we arrived at 2, so I was placed in the admission exam room to have another non-stress test and have my cervix checked. The baby's heartrate was a little non-reactive, so I laid on my side for awhile to try to wake her up. When the nurse checked my cervix, she found no change. I almost started crying. She called Janet, who decided to have another dose of Cytotec administered and have me walk a bit to get things going. We were moved to a birthing room that had just opened up so I wouldn't be out of luck when I did get admitted.
My parents came to visit and keep us entertained. I walked lap after lap around the hospital. I hate those hallways. Around 6, Andy and I went down to the cafeteria with my parents for some dinner. Our nurse, Tonya, asked us to be back around 7:30. We got back at 7 and she said she'd be in in 15 minutes to check me.
My cervix had made it to 3 cm. I'd only dilated half a centimeter in four hours. I was absolutely crushed. I couldn't handle the idea of being sent home again, since we'd had so many false alarms. The EFM was showing contraction after contraction and they were beginning to get painful. I couldn't believe they weren't dilating my cervix. Tonya kept having me roll on my side to wake up the baby, whose heartrate was still non-reactive. She'd seen us during one of our false alarms and had had to use the buzzer to wake up the baby to get her reactive and asked us if that had to be done every time we had a non-stress test. We told her no, but that the nurse earlier in the day had had me on my side. She said she'd give Janet a call to see where to go next.
I was ready to cry again. I was so tired of being in labor with nothing happening. The contractions were painful and coming one on top of the other, with almost no break in between-- in fact, some of them were barely receding before the next one began. At one point, lying on my side, the heartrate monitor lost the baby's heartrate for a moment then picked up again, showing 90, then 80. I tapped at the unit and tried adjusting it (we'd gotten to be rather expert at the EFM), thinking it had picked up my heartrate. Tonya came in the room shortly thereafter to look at the machine. Andy mentioned we'd lost the baby's heartbeat for a moment but Tonya said that those low numbers WERE her heartbeat. Needless to say, that scared the ever-living shit out of both of us. We knew that heartrate was far too low. Janet was due to arrive in a bit to take a look at the strip and decide where we would go from there. Tonya went back out to the nurses' station and, a few minutes later, a man we'd never seen came into the room to look at the EFM strip. He introduced himself as Dr. Ellinwood and said he'd looked over our strip at the nurses' station and was concerned with the baby's heartbeat. He ran his finger along the top of the strip, pointing out the dips her heartrate was taking after contractions, telling us that, after those dips, her heartrate should bounce back above where it was before. Instead, her heartrate was dipping and "flat-lining," returning to where it was before. He said she had "non-reassuring hearttones" and recommended a cesarean.
My heart stopped and I started to cry. I tried to choke back the tears, but I couldn't do it. My throat filled with the salt water and I couldn't breathe. Andy had turned white. Dr. Ellinwood said he'd talked to Janet in the hall and they'd agreed on the c-section. The baby wasn't withstanding the contractions well. Every time I had a contraction, oxygen didn't flow to her, as normal. However, my contractions were coming so fast, she didn't have time to recover, as she would normally. Had I been 7 or 8 cm dilated, there wouldn't have been as much concern but, since I was barely 3, they were getting to be too much for her. Dr. Ellinwood told us, based on my progress so far, my labor could continue for another day or two, but she would only be able to withstand it for another hour or two. There was really no questions to be asked: have a c-section or our baby could die.
Everything started moving very fast. Dr. Ellinwood had the nurses give me a oxygen mask. Tonya brought in another nurse to hook me up to an IV so get me hydrated. Janet came in to reiterate what the doctor had told us. She would be assisting him in the surgery and it would only take them about 7 minutes to deliver the baby, then about another half an hour or so to repair me. I would be given a spinal block, not an epidural. Tonya brought over materials to shave my belly and pubic area. I was getting cold from the IV saline and was still nearly hyperventilating under the oxygen; my glasses didn't fit over the bridge, so I could only see some things in focus. My parents were notified, as per my birth plan, by Janet that I would be having a c-section and they came in to get their coats and hug me before they went to the waiting room. Andy was given scrubs and told to change into them; he would wait in the cesarean recovery room until I'd been given the spinal, then he could join me at the head of the table. He was encouraged to bring his camera. While he changed, I was given a catheter to empty my bladder and had to drink something horribly bitter to nullify the acidity of my stomach contents.
I was wheeled down the hall to the operating room. There were a bunch of people in the room and I only recognized Tonya, Dr. Ellinwood and Janet, who were already in scrubs. I was introduced to the anesthesiologist, Dr. Heckle, who explained the entire process of a spinal to me. I would be given Duromorph, which would numb me from the breastbone on down. I'd be given a shot to numb the area of injection first, then the Duramorph. Once the spinal was administered, I wouldn't feel anything of the surgery except for a bit of tugging and pulling. I was rolled onto my side and Janet held me behind my neck and legs while Dr. Heckle draped my back and proceeded to give me the spinal. I was still shivering violently and told Janet I was afraid I'd screw him up with my shaking; she assured me my shivering wouldn't phase him, that it was the huge shakes that some women had that would disturb him.
The spinal was done quickly and I was rolled back onto my back. Sterile drapes were placed over my body and across my chest to block my view of the procedure. Andy was allowed in and came to my side, kissing me on the forehead; my arms were both strapped down to prevent me from reflexively reaching down while the surgery was performed. Andy was told he could take photos of everything, but I protested any shots of the c-section itself. Dr. Heckle asked, were I giving birth vaginally, would I want photos of that. When I replied that I wouldn't, he laughed and agreed that maybe I wouldn't want any photos of this.
Dr. Ellinwood then told me he was going to check to see if the spinal had taken yet. I felt some prodding and told him what I felt; Dr. Heckle said he was actually pinching me with some metal implement, so what I felt was acceptable.
I laid there for awhile while Andy looked over the drape. Finally, I asked, "Um, when are you going to start?" Andy looked down at me in disbelief. "Don't you smell that?" he asked. "They're almost halfway through. Can't you smell them cauterizing the layers?" I couldn't believe I'd somehow not even noticed I was being cut into!
"We're almost there," Janet reported. Andy craned his neck and Dr. Heckle asked if he needed to sit down, afraid he was going to pass out. Andy grinned and refused the chair; he was fascinated.
They cut through my uterus and the baby's amniotic sac broke with a gush, sending up a geyser that caused everyone to jump back, laughing. A moment later, Janet reached in and pulled out the baby's head to suction out her mouth; immediately, she began wailing. Then Janet pulled out the rest of her body and proclaimed, "You're going to need to tape some little girl ribbons to that head!" My response: "Does that mean she's bald?" Janet started laughing and reported that there was plenty of hair on my baby's head. Then she was held up over the drape so I could see her scrunched up, screaming face. Andy said in awe, "It's a girl!"
Dr. Heckle looked at the clock. "I have 20:42."
It was recorded: Katharine Wen Spoering was born December 20, 2003 at 8:42 pm.
A nurse and pediatrician took the baby to the warmer and Andy followed. He stood over her and said softly, "Hi, Katie." Katie calmed quickly as she was checked and she turned pink right away, only her feet and hands remaining just a little purple. Andy snapped several pictures of her as she received a little oxygen and was cleaned up, wrapped in a pink blanket, topped with a little striped cap then handed to Andy, who brought her over to see me. Dr. Heckle freed my arms from the restraints and I put my arm out to cradle her back between Andy's arms. With my other hand, I touched her face. "Hey," I said, stroking her cheeks. "Look, she has baby zits!" Dr. Heckle took Andy's camera and took a couple photos of us: our first photos as a family.
I kissed her on the cheek before Andy and the nurse took her away to the well-baby nursery to be examined. In the meantime, surgery continued as I was repaired, layer by layer. High from seeing my daughter, I joked and chatted with the doctors and nurses. I felt almost nothing, still fairly amazed at that fact. As the procedure wound down, I began feeling a little queasy and pale, so I stared at my sterile drape for awhile, marveling at the whole experience. When everything was done, I was wheeled into the cesarean recovery room and helped onto a bed, Tonya situating my legs because I couldn't feel a thing. I was surprised to see my right leg: it looked disembodied and swollen, something that was never attached to me. I was covered in blankets and a warming unit was placed above me. My parents arrived and hugged me, told me Katie was the prettiest thing they'd ever seen. They told me her statistics: 7 pounds, 2.8 ounces, 19 3/4 inches long-- just two-tenths of an ounce and 3/4 of an inch smaller than her daddy at birth. My mother, who'd been hoping for curly hair, said Andy claimed Katie definitely had that.
A few minutes later, Andy arrived pushing Katie in a plastic bassinette. He picked her up and put her in my arms, this tiny bundle of pink face with huge gray eyes. I was attached to monitors and tubes, unable to move at all, but I felt the best I have in years. Tonya helped me get Katie latched on and she nursed blissfully immediately, her eyes barely open but staring up at me.
Finally, after years of loss and pain and fear and tenuous hope, I was holding my long-awaited baby, a tiny, healthy girl who looks just like her daddy.

since this happened only 11 days ago, i'm still coming to terms with it-- i was so keen on a natural birth and read everything possible, dreaming of helping pull my baby out and holding her against my skin for the first time. i don't regret the c/b because it very likely saved her life, but i feel let down because i didn't get the birth i envisioned.
we're not planning on another child for several years, but i'm already getting excited to try for a vbac!!


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Witchbaby,

Welcome to our little circle. I read your birth experience and I can so relate to how you feel. Coming to terms with not having the birth you desired can be a really depressing thing. Please feel free to talk about it. Watch for signs of PPD. I had very bad PPD and I contribute part of that of the disappointment and sadness over my birth.
I am glad your baby arrived safely into the world. I found it interesting though that your midwife thought the induction method they used was ok. I would love to hear the thoughts about that.
I am thinking of you and your little one. Stick around. Great moms post on this thread who have been there and done that.

Kim


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## sarahmae1 (Nov 11, 2002)

Hi all. I don't post to this thread very often, but I had an emergency c-section under general w/ my ds 3yrs. ago. I am currently pg w/ baby #2 and due in August... I am planning a repeat c-section. I was hoping you could read my c-section birth plan and tell me what you think, give suggestions, etc. (It is still a work in progress.) Thanks!

Cesarean Birth Plan

As this is a planned Cesarean birth, we are looking forward to a positive birth experience.
We want to participate in this birth to the fullest. We have listed our preferences below; these decisions have been made after much research, consultation, and thought. Therefore, your help in attaining these goals is very much appreciated.

On admission:
Sarah would like the catheter put in after receiving an epidural (I think? Maybe spinal)
Erick would like to remain with Sarah at all times before and during the surgery, even during the (epidural/spinal) insertion.

At the birth:
I would like to have one hand free to touch the baby.
No medications are to be given to me (including antibiotics, anti-nausea, pitocin, etc.), unless I give approval, after having been told about the medications and any possible side-effects they may have.
Erick and Sarah would both like the option of viewing the birth, by lowering the screen. Erick and Sarah would appreciate a verbal description of the birth as it occurs. We would like the birth to be as much like a natural birth as possible.
We would like to take pictures and/or video tape the birth.

Immediately following the birth:
Cord to be cut by Erick, (if he wants to).
Erick will remain with the baby at all times, if I am not able to accompany him/her.
All procedures to be done in the presence of one or both parents, preferably in our hospital room.
Erick will assist with the first washings/bath.
No eye ointment is to be given to our baby, we will sign a waiver if needed.
If there is a problem with the baby, Erick is to stay with him/her at all times, and Sarah wishes to join them as soon as possible.

*As we mentioned before, we realize there may be problems (some we may not have taken into consideration here) and we are willing to co-operate, all that we ask is that our informed consent be sought before any procedure, or medication is used. *

After the birth:
Sarah would like to feed her baby as soon as possible, and we would like the baby to stay with her throughout the surgery and during the recovery. Erick would be delighted to hold his child within Sarah's view throughout these procedures if she feels unable to participate in the bonding.

I plan to breastfeed the baby. No pacifiers, formula, or other artificial nipples or supplements are to be given unless my husband or I give prior approval. We will room-in as much as possible, and baby will be fed on demand. If baby is in nursery, please bring him/her to me whenever s/he signals that s/he is hungry (not on a schedule, but not longer than 3-4hrs. at night either).

If the baby is a boy, we would like him circumcised while in the hospital but an anesthetic MUST be used prior to the procedure! (No glucose water or pacifier dipped in glucose soultion is to be given.)

We prefer a private room. We would like Erick to spend the first night in the hospital with the baby and me. We would like our son (Lucas, age 3) to visit both me and the baby as soon as possible after delivery, along w/ my mother who will be accompanying him, and at least once each day while I am in the hospital.

Thank you very much for taking the time to read our Birth Plan, and I hope we can discuss any problems you see with it. We thank you in advance for your support and kind attention to our choices, as we look forward to a wonderful birth. Your support and co-operation is really appreciated.

Sincerely,
Sarah and Erick Dahl


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Your birth plan sounds perfect and very familiar to my own!

Kim


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## FroNuff (Apr 3, 2003)

I just had my second DD on 12/26 and it ended in a c-section. I'm not really sure how I feel about the whole thing, except for a bit of obvious disappointment. I'm not really beating myself up over how the birth ended, but just feeling generally like I don't want to tell very many people that I had a c/s because I fear people will judge me unfairly.

I have so many emotions to write out, but on one hand, I'm so afraid to deal with them just yet.


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

I think we can all relate to feeling that way- it is early yet. When you want to talk about how you feel about the birth experience, we'll all be here to listen and support.

I went through stages of being upset, being embarrassed, being defensive, etc. Try to remember the healthy baby, and that you did all you could to make sure that was the outcome, be a proud mama


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## Hikaru (Sep 1, 2002)

Quote:

_Originally posted by Mom2AliKat_
*I just had my second DD on 12/26 and it ended in a c-section. I'm not really sure how I feel about the whole thing, except for a bit of obvious disappointment. I'm not really beating myself up over how the birth ended, but just feeling generally like I don't want to tell very many people that I had a c/s because I fear people will judge me unfairly.

I have so many emotions to write out, but on one hand, I'm so afraid to deal with them just yet.*
Congratulations on the birth of your daughter! Babies are such a blessing, even if they don't always come into the world the way we'd have liked.
All of us on this thread are working through similar feelings to yours and we are here to support you when you're ready to talk.


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## sarahmae1 (Nov 11, 2002)

Quote:

_Originally posted by OnTheFence_
*Your birth plan sounds perfect and very familiar to my own!

Kim*
Thanks Kim, I'm glad to hear that! What does anyone else think?


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## Hikaru (Sep 1, 2002)

Having a birth plan is a good idea and I hope it helps to create a positive birth experience for you.
Just (as you surely know) birth is one of those things that is ultimately not under your control so expect the unexpected.

Happy happy birth vibes to you....soon you'll be holding your little one!


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## quiltinglance (Dec 5, 2003)

A breath of fresh air for a mom looking for support......I labored 22 hrs, mostly in a huge warm tub and "failed to progress". I would learn later it was a good thing as my 5ft 3 body didn't want to (vag) birth a 10lb 6oz chunk of love.

I planned this birth, very educated as an RN. Elected to deliver outside a hospital setting, (my coworkers thought I was crazy) in water, surrounded by participants and support people. After an ambulance ride to the hospital and and epidural....pit....uterine monitor my uterus had given up. We all decide this baby would have to come c/b.

While I know I would not have survived this "years ago" I'm also grieving for what I wanted and didn't get. Now I'm pregnant with my 2nd baby, due 25 March, and needing to decide what I can do, and what's realistic.

Why do I struggle with feeling like a failure when the outcome was the best thing ever???


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

Quote:

_Originally posted by quiltinglance_
*Why do I struggle with feeling like a failure when the outcome was the best thing ever???*
i think we all ask ourselves this question and I'm not sure that we can really ahve an answer. It is jsut how our minds work. We can be completely thrilled with an outcome but we can still be disappointed in how it happened. That doesn't mean that we can wallow in regrets (not ssaying youa re at all...just talking...







) The only thing we can do is decide how we really feel about the next time.

Right now I'm at the point where i do not mourn the birth experience of my son at all. I don't regret my induction. I don't regret the decision to c/b. In fact, I think I'm finally ok with it!

I'm going to vbac this baby. The issues are weird because I "know" I can do it but I have a fear of not doing it. I know that no matter what I'll have a baby in my arms. I try not to think of it as failing. I'm not failing at anything... I'm jstu going about it a different way. I will be disappointed if I have another c/b but I know that in the end it will have been for the best and THAT makes my birth...no matter how it goes...a success!

(I think I'm finally working through all of my feelings on this vbac thing







)


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## quiltinglance (Dec 5, 2003)

Thank you for your support. This is my first time on the Mothering Discussion board.......seeking something to quiet my mind. I didn't realize there were so many others out there feeling like I did.

Hopefully I will have a better idea of whats in store for me on the 9th...a meeting with the OB and midwife. A GREAT group of women!

I look forward to your continued support and feel very blessed I have a place to air my concernes. I am aware the outcome is the most important.


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## Hikaru (Sep 1, 2002)

quiltinglance welcome! and hugs.
If you read this thread and the old Cesarian Support ones which you can dig up if you look, you'll see that all of us on this thread have struggled with very similar feelings. That does not by any means invalidate your own unique feelings, but in my experience it helps a lot to know you're not alone.
How's your pregnancy going? I just had my second child in October by repeat cesarian.


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## FroNuff (Apr 3, 2003)

Thanks, Hikaru and Patty. It's great to know that I have a place to vent once I am able to. That may be never, that may be later on today. Who knows. But I'm grateful for somewhere I can go to.


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## quiltinglance (Dec 5, 2003)

Thanks Hikaru. Congrat on your 2nd baby! I feel better already, finding this site. It's been a rough weekend anticipating my meeting with the OB on Friday. I've got my questions lined up and have done some reading.

Finding the old threads have helped more than I thought it would. Prior to locating this discussion board I thought I needed a group thearpy session!









My pregnancy is going well, too fast in many ways. I think we're done at two chidren. I'm already 36.

I've started to see the positive side of "scheduling" a c/b. I get MY Dr. MY Midwife (assisting), my anesthesiologist (sp?), my music, etc. I guess I'm seeking control.

Thanks again for your time. I look forward to following everyone on this site.

Kim
aka/quiltinglance


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

Meg'sMom- I was wondering how things are going with your recovery, and how the birth itself went, I know you've been a little busy to write a birth story. But, I'd like to hear about the birth itself and your recovery, when you have a little time


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## Megs Mom (Mar 19, 2002)

hoping to get birth story done tonight or tomorrow - recovery going great!


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## witchbaby (Apr 17, 2003)

Quote:

_Originally posted by OnTheFence_
*Witchbaby,

Welcome to our little circle. I read your birth experience and I can so relate to how you feel. Coming to terms with not having the birth you desired can be a really depressing thing. Please feel free to talk about it. Watch for signs of PPD. I had very bad PPD and I contribute part of that of the disappointment and sadness over my birth.
I am glad your baby arrived safely into the world. I found it interesting though that your midwife thought the induction method they used was ok. I would love to hear the thoughts about that.
I am thinking of you and your little one. Stick around. Great moms post on this thread who have been there and done that.

Kim*
dh and i have discussed the birth of the monkey a lot and we there was a little more to the induction than we thought. our midwife isn't one for inducing lightly (particularly early), so everyone was shocked when she suggested inducing 5 days before our edd. i'd had several instances of preterm labor starting at 33 weeks and ended up not being able to tolerate the brethine or procardia by 36 weeks (caused some nasty chest pains). i continued having rather hard contractions after that and my cervix just wasn't budging. the last few trips to the hospital (we had 10 total!), the baby flatlined every time and had to be roused to accelerate her heartrate, so we're beginning to think janet was a tough worried and wanted to go ahead and move baby out. she wanted to use the "mellowest" form of induction, since she was afraid pit would cause my already strong contractions to get even stronger.
in retrospect, it's looking like the c-section was a semi-emergency, since we'd had so many instances of flatlining and my body was so confused for so long.


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## emmaline (Dec 16, 2001)

just dropping by to ask for good c-birth vibes/ prayers for a friend who is having a c-birth, her second, tomorrow morning. She has a number of medical problems and is an older mum like me, we went to high school together in the 70s

for those who don't know me - I posted way back at the beginning of the support circle - I have had 3 boys all c-births

thanks to anyone who can spare a few moments for my friend


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## KKmama (Dec 6, 2001)

I don't know where everyone's at wrt to being pg and giving birth... anyway, I wanted to discuss VBACs with anyone who's currently pg and I started a new thread:

http://205.214.82.233/discussions/sh...hreadid=108841

And I wanted to bump this thread up, too!


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

Is the world is going to end because I had my ds by c/b and I'm ok with it?

No it isn't what I planned or wanted. No, it isn't the "best" way. Yes, I could have done something (not been induced or not had my water broke or demanded the pit be turned off). But I am FINE with my c-birth. I do not feel it was a terrifying horrible experience. My whole problem has been that it isn't what I wanted.

I do NOT believe I am just persuaded by the system to think it is ok. I truly feel that I had a reasonably ok birth experience with my son. I was doped out of my head and recovery was harder but when it comes down to it...I don't care!

I want to vbac but on the other hand I jsut want to repeat. I thought at first I wanted the repeat because baby would come early and I would be pregnant less. But in reality I don't care if they wait till I'm term to do the repeat.

I've done research. I've asked a lot of questions. The funny thing is that I feel more "concerned" with what ppl will think here about just having a repeat than what I think. I feel like I've taken a lot of ppls time asking questions and looking for support when I have started to ask myself "Why do I feel so strongly about vbac." Well, in honesty...I don't feel all that strong about it! Maybe it is because I have the philosophy that says, We don't have to do everything the same as everyone else. If you vbac that is great why should I push a repeat on you. If I vbac why should I push that on you. Why is it any of my business what you do?

I hate to see ppl that are misinfomred and ppl that are duped by their ob and their "excuses". I hate to see women told they have a big baby so the "have to have" a c/b. I've been chatting with one gal that said her ob will NOT attempt to deliver a baby estimated to be over 9 pounds. Now, does that scream "moms should diet and control their weight to insure small babies" or is it me. I thought we moved past that whole mindset years ago.

I don't think that if I choose a repeat this late in the game that I've lost anything. I don't think it makes me a bad parent or "unnatural" at all.

I guess I'm just still working through all of this. I know its getting late to think about it still but I put it off for 8 months! Maybe being finally at peace with my first c/b has brought me further along in the last month.

Why is this so hard?


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

IOF- BIG HUGE







for you.

You and I have been on part of this road together, and I know I have had it so much easier (we have the same due date







for all others reading). I have known all along I will have a c-birth, and I know I have no choice, that is a whole lot easier (though I am still not feeling good about it, but I'll address that in my own thread later), than wondering if I am doing the right thing, and trying to know whether I am doing things to please others, myself, etc.

I know this has been a struggle for you all along, feeling a push to VBAC that you are not sure if it is coming from inside yourself, or from being part of a natural community such as this.

My belief is that if YOU truly want to VBAC, you can wait for labor to start naturally (water breaking and all) and give it a shot. However, you are really stressing about this, and I am not sure that VBAC means that much to you(and it doesn't have to, it is not for everyone). It is so hard to know if you are just scared that it won't happen, or if you feel pressure to try nature out again. I wish you could know what is really in your heart, you are clearly so stressed and confused about it all. I wish I could give you the magical answer- I really do. Maybe if you and dh take some serious prayer time together- you will both come to an answer on what is right for you.

You are right that if you have a c-birth it has nothing to do with what kind of mother you are, we all have different paths to take, and I won't let anyone tell me that someone who chooses to repeat instead of VBAC is doing themselves or their child a disservice- you will do what is right for you and your baby in the end, you really will


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

Thanks jess









I cannot believe I am struggling this much with all of this. Part of my want for a vbac is ego. I know that. I know I am afraid of "failure". In my mind I just cannot come to a happy medium!

Dh is like "whatever". I think he feels the same that I do. We jsut want this baby here. We both know that then we can "get on with life" right now we feel like we are in a holding pattern. I think deep down dh thinks I'll jsut have a repeat for similar reasons to ds. Which i can't get out of my mind either.

Sheesh...I should have figured this out 8 months ago!

Jess--when is your c/b??


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

My c-birth is scheduled for Friday, and I am trying to be all ok with that, I am very excited to meet my son, and I know I NEED a c-birth to get there, I am just a very nervous person, and have some real anxiety about the surgery itself.

My parents and dh are nervous too, although they don't discuss it with me at all, but I just know we are all really scared. I guess you don't hear enough great c-birth stories, and all the paperwork (Ie- sign here so I can give you a blood transfusion if I need to) etc. makes me think about the scarier posibilities.

The first time I was not very nervous (in comparison to last time and now), the OB made it clear it was the safest thing for the baby (and this is still true), and I was naive, I guess, or maybe just smarter then- I shouldn't worry about what I cannot control. I guess it is that I have 2 kids at home now, and my OWN life seems more valuable. You hear about infection risks, women hemmoraging, etc. But, I am delivering at a major hospital, so all should be ok, right?

Ah, my mind goes and goes, I won't be sleeping much these next few days, even though I am very tired right now.

I need more faith at the moment, maybe I should focus on that and get off of MDC









You know what else IOF- I never changed my sig line to show I am planning a c-birth (can anyone guess why?) but I am going to go do that now- I refused to be ashamed of doing what I must to have this baby come out healthy


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## KKmama (Dec 6, 2001)

Hey iof, I couldn't tell if you were reacting to my VBAC thread post or not (I've been following what you've been going through, and I'm really sorry it's been so tough)... not assuming you were, but in case you were, I just wanted to let you know that I'm on your side, and I've been here on the C support circle thread complaining with everyone else







...

I identify with a lot of what you said (although I definitely want a VBAC, if only to keep my mil from descending upon me and "taking care" of me while I recover from surgery







). It's a really hard place to be... having had one C and knowing what it's like, not always getting support from our care providers, and then having other people who have no idea what we're going through question our decisions. (At this point, I'm getting questions on both sides... y'know, the people who think you *can't* VBAC, and then the people who think you're endangering your baby's life by attempting a VBAC... nice, isn't it?)

I also remember how *emotional* the end of pg was for me last time... ug, so much to think about. I don't want to have to think *more* about my last birth and implications for this birth *then*, but I'll have to. Hang in there...

Jess, if I knew I was going to meet my baby on Friday, I'd wet my pants with excitement! Despite the surgery and everything, it's so exciting to know you're going to see him so soon!


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

Quote:

_Originally posted by KKmama_
*

Jess, if I knew I was going to meet my baby on Friday, I'd wet my pants with excitement! Despite the surgery and everything, it's so exciting to know you're going to see him so soon!*
:LOL Thanks for the laugh, I do wet my pants on occasion, I wish it was just from excitement







And I am very excited to meet my new little man


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## ladylee (Nov 20, 2001)

Jess, I've been thinking of you and am sending lots of positive, protective energy for you and your son-have a beautiful, beautiful birth!


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

KKmama--Do not worry! My post had nothing to do with yours. I try not to react to what other ppl write (if it bothered me that much i would jsut pm you







) Thank you for your support!

jess-I'm very excited about your birth coming up! I wish mine was that clsoe...maybe it is and I don't know it!! I've been contracting every 5-8 minutes since 3 this afternoon (earlier too but I had a break in there) and they are def more intense now just not getting any closer together









My friend had her first c/b today It was planned...she tore so bad with her first 2 they said if she tore again she would have to have reconstructive surgery to repair her rectum...she needs it anyway but is putting it off. Anyway, it went great! She feels pretty good. Baby was 7lbs 5oz 19.5 inches long. He is sooo tiny!! He was only 7oz under ds but I thought ds was a big baby. Of course my ds was 2 inches longer which really makes no sense.... Anyway, she is being released on thursday morning!


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## KKmama (Dec 6, 2001)

I'm up with my middle of the night pg woman snack (after getting ds back to sleep... he's having his first runny nose--at 2 1/2!)...

Iof, I had BH contrax (unfortunately, not the real thing, but still annoying, and occasionally painful) for ~a week to 10 days before I finally had my C... It was really hard for me to focus with all that... is there anything you can do to get some serious distraction and/or rest if you think it's going to be a while before they speed up? (Like renting terrible comedies or having lunch with very, very nice people?--worked for me). I feel for you... All I can say is that I'm glad that the "parenting" phase lasts a lot longer than the "pg and birth" phase, because I like parenting a lot more (and I seem to be better at it







).


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

I am still here. Just hanging out and been busy with my work. IOF I am thinking of you and Jess we want details as soon as your baby gets here!

Kim


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## KKmama (Dec 6, 2001)

I came here to whine...

We interviewed a doula last night, and it was pretty bad. Fortunately, she agreed that yes, my C had been necessary (I get so mad when people try to tell me that it wasn't, especially if they don't know what happened)... But she basically told me I should do a homebirth instead of a hospital birth and that I should switch practices if I wanted to be successful. I'm very clear on what I want--I *like* my ob practice, I think we've come to a very good understanding on how things will go, and I'm fine with everything. And I *don't* want a homebirth... and I don't want a doula who's going to 2nd guess my decisions (I want a doula who's going to rub my back







).

I feel like people like this woman set themselves up as "experts" who know all the answers, and then if something doesn't go perfectly, she can just blame me...

I've been thinking about my VBAC and what I'm willing to do to get it. *As long as the baby is okay*, I'll do just about anything. But I'm not willing to do anything that distracts me and gets me worried that I'm risking his/her health...


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

I went to the ob today. I'm 1cm and 50%. BUT baby is no longer in my pelvis. He is free floating all over the place. She said even if they wanted me to come in tonight to have my water broken to get things moving (I wouldn't do it anyway) they wouldn't be able to. The baby is too high for her to even attempt it safely. So, I once again have mal positioning problems. Baby at least stayed head down!

The good news...I only gained .5 of a pound!

So, now the new game plan....If baby has not arrived by January 29th I'm having a repeat c/b that morning. Which I am totally fine with! I gave her my c/b birth plan. I wrote one brand new just for that and she loved it! She was very excited that I want to be out of bed and active as soon as possible and that I have no intention of being uninvolved and letting someone else make all the decisions (I really like this lady).

thats it on my end!

KKmama--I understand your frustration! I had the same "issues" with my mws!


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

Ow Ow Ow- OK, I am having a sharp pain on my side, down low, where I assume my inner incision is on the uterus- I really think it is the baby's position -he seems to have flipped his little self (not head to toe, but from limbs on my left to limbs on my right), and it seems that a limb is pushing there. Has anyone else has this pain in a subsequent pregnancy? I know it could be a whole slew of other things, but before I panic and call the OB, I am trying to convince him to move around a bit and hopefully it will go away.


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:

_Originally posted by its_our_family_
*The baby is too high for her to even attempt it safely. So, I once again have mal positioning problems. Baby at least stayed head down!

So, now the new game plan....If baby has not arrived by January 29th I'm having a repeat c/b that morning. Which I am totally fine with! I gave her my c/b birth plan. I wrote one brand new just for that and she loved it! She was very excited that I want to be out of bed and active as soon as possible and that I have no intention of being uninvolved and letting someone else make all the decisions (I really like this lady).

*
Just came to take a peek and keep the thread active.
I find it interesting that your baby is doing this at the end of the road. I know a lot of people who think that all babies are meant to be born vaginally but sometimes when I read about you IOF I think, that baby is decided on an alternative exit. I am not sure I would attempt a VBAC in your situation if I did go into labor if the baby wasnt in position. I am glad you are okay and planning with a repeat next Thursday if things dont happen. I hope you do not see yourself as a failure or let people badger you with all the ifs and whats either. If this is what youare comfortable with, and you feel this is the best way to go, then know you are making the right decision and that this pregnantcy and birth were a success!

Kim


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:

_Originally posted by KKmama_
*I came here to whine...

We interviewed a doula last night, and it was pretty bad. Fortunately, she agreed that yes, my C had been necessary (I get so mad when people try to tell me that it wasn't, especially if they don't know what happened)... But she basically told me I should do a homebirth instead of a hospital birth and that I should switch practices if I wanted to be successful. I'm very clear on what I want--I *like* my ob practice, I think we've come to a very good understanding on how things will go, and I'm fine with everything. And I *don't* want a homebirth... and I don't want a doula who's going to 2nd guess my decisions (I want a doula who's going to rub my back







).

I feel like people like this woman set themselves up as "experts" who know all the answers, and then if something doesn't go perfectly, she can just blame me...

*
So sad but I know people like this that I am actually friends with. Find someone else. If I ever decided to do a VBAC it would be in a hospital and I could very well be another csection so any doula I hired would have to realize that and be supportive either way. Like you I would want a doula to take care of me, rub my feet, back, help with positioning, etc. Not someone who is going to judge me because the VBAC didnt work out or I got an epidural or something.
Goodluck and you are welcome to vent anytime
Kim


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

Quote:

_Originally posted by OnTheFence_
*Just came to take a peek and keep the thread active.
I find it interesting that your baby is doing this at the end of the road. I know a lot of people who think that all babies are meant to be born vaginally but sometimes when I read about you IOF I think, that baby is decided on an alternative exit. I am not sure I would attempt a VBAC in your situation if I did go into labor if the baby wasnt in position. I am glad you are okay and planning with a repeat next Thursday if things dont happen. I hope you do not see yourself as a failure or let people badger you with all the ifs and whats either. If this is what youare comfortable with, and you feel this is the best way to go, then know you are making the right decision and that this pregnantcy and birth were a success!

Kim*
THANK YOU!!! This post made me feel much better! I agreee. I think this kid has decided how wants to come out and vaginally ain't it.

I do not feel like a fialure becuse I know I have done what I can. I see a chiro 3x a week. I've had webster done 2x to try and persuade him to drop. I've done what I can but he has no interest in it!

I'm just ready to get him out!!!


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## quiltinglance (Dec 5, 2003)

I cannot express enough how much finding this forum has helped with my own issues surrounding c/b. Each of you is so courageous, and seem so clear minded when it comes down to what actually needs to be done. Maybe that is maturity, the number of kids you have, the "venting" that is allowed to happen here or just a process of all of the above.

I know, reflecting back, my c/b was the only way Lance was coming out. He was posterior (lots of back labor) and never fully engaged in my pelvis. I tried for >24 hrs, 8cm and found my uterus had given up. What a graceful way of saying, "mom, I need another exit".

This new baby is due 3/25 and I'm going to try for a vbac but we've also come to the conclusion that if my birth progresses like Lance's, posterior etc. We would forgo the marithon and head to the surgery suite. I feel great about the plan and so thankful this site had helped me process all those feelings I couldn't quite express to those around me.
Kim, Mom to Lance 2yr, Wife to Michal, VBAC/C/B? 3/25


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

quiltinglance-- Funny thing is, I'm not all that clear headed! You will see a lot of posts and threads by me where i am completely confused!

We also came to the same agreement. If my pre-labor and such seemed like that of ds we would look at wht was going on and make a realistic decision. Yes, I want a vbac but I don't think it will happen in my case. i think if I were to go another 2 or 3 weeks I would be carrying this kid in my shoulders! I think he is afraid to come out :LOL


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:

_Originally posted by quiltinglance_
*I cannot express enough how much finding this forum has helped with my own issues surrounding c/b. Each of you is so courageous, and seem so clear minded when it comes down to what actually needs to be done. Maybe that is maturity, the number of kids you have, the "venting" that is allowed to happen here or just a process of all of the above.

I know, reflecting back, my c/b was the only way Lance was coming out. He was posterior (lots of back labor) and never fully engaged in my pelvis. I tried for >24 hrs, 8cm and found my uterus had given up. What a graceful way of saying, "mom, I need another exit".

This new baby is due 3/25 and I'm going to try for a vbac but we've also come to the conclusion that if my birth progresses like Lance's, posterior etc. We would forgo the marithon and head to the surgery suite. I feel great about the plan and so thankful this site had helped me process all those feelings I couldn't quite express to those around me.
Kim, Mom to Lance 2yr, Wife to Michal, VBAC/C/B? 3/25*
I am so glad to read posts like this (still looking at that own forum thing, hmmm hmmmm) I also think you are seeing this in a mature light and what is best for you and your baby. I recently read a VBAC story that put the babe and mother's life in jeopardy. She wanted a VBAC at all costs. She got it, and thankfully they are all healthy, but there was a lot of touch and go moments. Maybe some would consider her brave. I think she was stupid.
I do hope you get your VBAC!But if not, know that your birth can be just as wonderful in the surgery suite, it will just be different!

Kim


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

Hi again ladies- well I got the babe to move this morning and pain left right away TG!

Anywho- tomorrow is my big day, and I am feeling pretty good (considering) about the c-birth and that is thanks in a big way to you all who have given positive c-birth stories








I am very excited to meet my little man, my dh and kids are equally thrilled about it too. I'll post what I hope will be a great and inspiring to someone else c-birth story when I get back









IOF- I am glad you and dh have made a concrete decision on how long to let this go on, and OTF makes a very good point about your baby's position and how baby will let you know (since you are struggling with the answers yourself), it is good that your baby can tell you what is best, and great that you are willing to listen and do what is best for him


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## Henry's_Mamma (Jan 23, 2004)

What a wnderful forum! I've been silently struggling with my c/b experience (my 1st ds was born 11/10/03). Here is my story:

I went into labor around 9pm on Sun., 11/9. I had irregular and inconsistent contractions all night. At around 8am (11 hours later), my water broke. We called the dr. and got to the hospital around 10am (13 hours into my labor). I was checked and I was 3cm dilated but ds was at -2 station (not engaged). B/c of the risk of cord prolapse, I was placed almost flat on my back and was told I wouldn't be able to move until ds engaged. Out the window went my freedom of movement during labor plans. My contractions intensified but I was also having horrible back labor all the time, both during and between contractions b/c ds was posterior. At 7cm (around 2pm), ds still wasn't engaged so I gave in to an epi. (regret #1) b/c I was not coping well w/ the pain (I could do very little to help myself since I wasn't allowed to move very much). Of course, now I needed pit. and extra fluids which sent my borderline bp pretty high. I got to 9.5cm (around 4pm) and was feeling the urge to push but couldn't b/c I wasn't yet fully dilated (trying not to push is AWFUL). I finally made it to 10cm an hour or so later (ds still wasn't engaged and was still posterior) and I was allowed to push. In 15 minutes I pushed ds to +2 station where he remained through the next 2+ hours of pushing in every position but standing or sqatting. I couldn't move him further (his forehead was caught behind my public bone -- he was born w/ a nice bruise on his head). Ds started to show some decels, and there was meconium, so the decision was made to do a c/s before he really showed signs of distress. So after 23 hours of labor, ds was born at 8:08pm on 11/10 by c/b. He was a peanut -- 19.5" & 6lbs. 15oz. I was so disappointed that I didn't have a v/b. I've been reluctant to share my feelings with anyone b/c no one seems to understand.

Intellectually, I know I made the best decision. Ds had decided he just didn't want to come out the usual way. I had a healthy ds and we weren't confounded with the complexities of an emerg. c/s. Spiritually, I believe that there was some divine intervention as ds had ABO blood type incompatibility jaundice and was placed under the bili-lights 30 hours after his birth. Had I had a v/b, I would've been released but he would've remained hospitalized. Instead, we were d/m together 4 days later. But I guess emotionally, I feel robbed, cheated, and like a failure. He should've fit. I should've been able to do this. I educated myself, I wrote a birth plan, my dh educated himself, etc. Why did this happen? I have so many friends who got epis at 3cm and went on to have no other interventions (other than pit) and had huge babies. Why was my little peanut unable to come out the "normal" way?

I guess my feelings are normal, as many of you ladies seem to have BTDT as well. Although I won't be having another baby anytime soon, I'm already thinking about a VBAC. I just feel cheated out of the birth experience I wanted -- no drugs, no cutting of any kind, freedom of movement, dh cutting the cord, a complete v/b, etc.

When will this get better?

Thanks for listening. I've really enjoyed reading your stories and thoughts and feelings. It is helpful to read, and I hope it helps me move beyond my grief about my own birth experience.


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## KKmama (Dec 6, 2001)

Welcome, Amy. Here's a big hug for you...







I think something that can be frustrating about labor and birth is that the baby has a lot of control over it... if he/she doesn't want to engage, the mama is pretty much stuck (I've been there).

I think having a safe, non-judgemental place to talk about your experience and your feelings will help a lot. So talk away--the women on this thread have been there, too.

Jess, it's so exciting that you're having your baby tomorrow!!!

On the doula front... One of the doulas who the dr. recommended to me is also a massage therapist. This sounds really intriguing to me, and I'm going to interview her. I think you guys will understand; even if I wind up having another C, a massage therapist would be useful...


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Okay, well I feel we can have discussion here safe for the most part. I mean how many mothering mamas are checking this thread out. LOL

First, I want to say that I am not a "go to the hospital get your epi right away kinda girl", nor am I not advocating natural childbirth. I am for natural childbirth, at home even. And for the record I have read, reread and read some more about all the pros and cons of epidurals. So here goes nothing ::getting flame suit on::

Amy, I wish you wouldnt beat yourself up over having gotten an epidural. I mean in your situation many of us would have chosen that route for the break. I am a tough broad mind you. I felt an entire csection from a failed spinal (hopefuly jess will not read this post until she gets back) and lived to tell about it. I mean natural childbirth cant be worse than feeling them cut you open, manipulate your guts, squeeze a youngin out, sew you back up and stuff the guts back in right? I had an epidrual the second time around and dont regret it.

Ten years ago I was that never ever get an epidural kind of gal. I mean I could name risk after risk, complication after complication -- etc. but now I even knowing these things, I cant say never ever to a pregnant lady in the throws of childbirth and pain. IF, and this is a big IF, I was to ever VBAC, I would do my best to go natural, but if I became an emotional wreck due to pain I would probably opt for the epidural for a rest, knowing the risks. I've heard just as many success stories with epidurals as I have heard bad. That moms after 12-18 hour labors just cant go on, need a rest, are emotionally drained so they opt for an epidural -- get a break from the rocking contractions, get some naps, and then have their babies, refreshed, feeling good, prepared to push. I know this was my aunt - who had PROM at 36 weeks and was put on PIT 24 hours later and was on it 9 hours without medication. She got the epidural rested, went from 2 - 10 in a few hours, let the epidural wear off and pushed for four hours before deliverying her baby. She knew the risks, she also knew that she needed a rest.
I've decided in the last few years I dont have to be super woman, I dont have anything to prove to anyone but myself and that other peoples standards does not negate my choices or determine my success and failure.
Sure there are those women who allowed or made choices that ended them up in the surgery room - maybe out of ignorance or medical manipulation, etc. I am just tired of seeing those people beat up over it. And I am even more tired when those of us who DO KNOW get judged for going against the crunchy granola way for US or our BABIES.
Amy take responsibility in whatever role you took, Accept what you couldn't control, and please do not beat yourself up for making a choice that allowed you a break, to recoup some emotional energy, and to make the decisions you had to make. Maybe things could have been differnt, maybe not -- you can only live in the now, work through what happened then, and hope that the next time around you take this experience and make the next one what you want it to be -- whether that be a VBAC or a repeat csection.


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## KKmama (Dec 6, 2001)

I agree with OTF... and yeah, I know some mamas who had long, painful labors with little progress, finally gave in to the epidural, and then breezed through the rest. We try really hard, we prepare as much as we can, but in the end, I don't believe that childbirth is a process you can "control." There's definitely some letting go after the baby is born...

I'd really like an unmedicated vaginal birth with this one (just as I wanted an unmedicated vaginal birth with the last one







), but I want to be open enough that if an intervention *can help me progess* (or make things safer for my baby), we do it. Eg, if AROM can help me have a VBAC instead of a repeat C, I'll do it.

Amy, it was kind of hard for me after ds' birth, because I had this emergency C, and it seemed like all my friends had had really great births. For a while I *did* wonder if there was anything else I could have done (the answer is no--believe me, I did it all). And then after a while, I realized that it was a really complicated situation that some people wouldn't understand, so I just don't talk about it with those people (and I don't talk about it on MDC except here). And I'm a really great mom, and even though it sounds trite, that matters a lot more to me.

I'm doing a bunch of birth-related planning/writing right now, so I'm kind of fired up...


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

Quote:

_Originally posted by Hilary_
*I know this probably sounds weird, but would you happen to be pigging out on citrus fruit?*
No but I was wondering about the whole acidic cervix thing....

Last night the baby went from head down to transverse then to breech and back to transverse. Isn't it a little late in the game for a "big" (hehehe) 39 weeker to be doing acrobatics???


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

iginally posted by KKmama [/i]
*
And I'm a really great mom, and even though it sounds trite, that matters a lot more to me.
* [/QUOTE]

BINGO!!! Your pregnancy is aorund 9 or 10 months. So, you eat right, take vitamins or herbs or whatever you take. You stay away from drugs and alocohol. You take it easy and exercise. Your labor lasts..what..2 days maybe more (or less). You parent that child for 18 years in your home and then a lifetime after that!

What takes more time? Parenting. So, I agree. if you got an epidural even if you didn't want one... it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. Yes, you may be disappointed but you have everything else ahead of you. The past is the past and there is nothing you can do about it.

This is after a ton of soul searching over the last month....


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## KKmama (Dec 6, 2001)

Yeah, iof, "mothering" lasts a lot longer...

It's not nice to make comparisons, because everyone has different routes to success, but... (here I go) I feel like I've been a better baby and toddler parent than some of my natural birth friends. Breastfed longer (and no traumatic weaning), fed a better diet, cloth-diapered, safer carseat (and safety checked), better discipline methods, spent more time with my child, etc. Surely that counts for a lot, right? More than 1 hr in my son's life?


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## Henry's_Mamma (Jan 23, 2004)

I never quite thought about it that way. Mothering is what is important. It is how I take this amazing gift and mold it that matters. Even dh said to me last night when I was feeling particularly blah about the birth (I have my moments), the birth doesn't matter b/c you are still in one piece and we have a beautiful child. So what if you didn't get the birth you wanted -- you got the end result (wanted desperately) and that's all that matters. I was annoyed at him at the time for saying that (and not understanding what the whole birth experience means/meant to me), but deep down I know he's right. I have an amazing child who I can't imagine life without. Now its up to me as his mother to make sure that he becomes a passionate and compassionate person -- now that's empowering!

I guess I put so much pressure on myself to have a natural birth that I hadn't really prepared for anything else. I knew the risks, I knew there was always the possibility of a c/s, but it never really entered my mind that it would happen _to me_. This, despite the fact that I had written in my birth plan about what I wanted to happen if a c/s happened -- not that anyone followed my birth plan. But that's a whole other post. (I didn't see ds for 4 hours after his birth for absolutely no valid reason and then we struggled for over a week to get him to bf. It was awful.) I think, maybe, all the things that happened after ds's birth have also influenced my feelings. I guess I feel that I would've had more control over everything had I had a v/b. But who knows. All I know is that I will NEVER have another child in the hospital I gave birth in as it has to be the most mother-child unfriendly place on the planet (despite rave reviews from many friends). But I won't go there either.

Thanks for letting me vent it out. It is really helpful to talk it through with other moms who have been there.


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## KKmama (Dec 6, 2001)

Amy, have you ever considered that the "challenge" you faced at the very beginning steeled your resolve and increased your desire to be the best mama you can be? I mean that we faced something difficult and unexpected early on, and it really made us determined in other areas? I believe that's part of what is behind my parenting. (Esp. with bf'ing... my attitude was, "Okay, I didn't have control over the birth, but I WILL MAKE THIS HAPPEN.")

And yeah, I think one of the best contributions I can make to the world is one (or more) sensitive, compassionate young man. (So far, so good.







)


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Bumping this to the top again. Dont want our thread to get lost.







Any update on Jess? IOF -- what is going on with you?
Let's get updates on your pregnant or birthing gals!

I am starting to get that baby urge again. My husband is up for a new job and if he gets it, I am thinking summer. I am starting a diet plan tomorrow and begin exercising again. I need to get healthy. I also need to find a new OB. I have one in mind that some crunchy mamas I know like. He just joined with the group my old OB is in, so it might be a good transition for me. I just will need to see if he is on the same page with me about csections and pregnancy. I am thinking since he is a all for natural childbirth, he may even consider a VBA2C. Not that I am sold on that but if everything was aligned just right I would consider a TOL.

Kim


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

We haven't heard from jess yet. She was supposed to be home yesterday if everything went well.

As for me...I have decided that if this baby isn't going to come until thursday I should be allowed to be contraction free! But my body doesn't seem to see it my way! I am having the MOST intense contractions I have had yet. They are very similar to about the 10th hour of pitocin







: They only organize for about 2 horus at a time and then take a break for a couple hours and then start up again. If they would organize for 4 or more hours I would go in now.

I'm kinda nervous because baby seems to staying transverse. Since I'm planning on the c/b on thursday I'm not worried about that. I'm worried about if my water breaks. Are there any dangers to the baby??


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Yes, IOF there are risks if your water breaks and your baby is transverse. If this happens go to the hospital immediately. This is something that scares me because my husband lost a sibling to prolapse cord. My very good friend had to have a csection due to prolapse cord last August.
I guess your baby has decided he/she doesnt want to come out the vagina, they were head down, inched out of the way and now transverse. He has a condo in there to move like that! When is your next OB appointment?

Kim


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

Ladies- I don't have long right now, but wanted to let you know that Sean arrived safely at 8:06 am on the 23rd, I will likely only post my whole birth story here- but for now- I'll just thank God again that He brought us through safely, as w/o this c-section, things would've been disasterous. I will post more later- but wanted to thank you ladies again for the continued support, and let you know about my sweet new boy


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

I have enough room for a condo! Yeah, I'm jsut really curious as to why he doesn't want to drop/engage/ and everything else...or more importantly why he changed his mind.

I'm starting to have pretty serious contrax but not regular. They are pulling really odd inside though. They seem to be only half of my uterus or tighter on one side than the other.

I don't have another ob appt until the c/b on Thursday. I wonder if I should call and ask to talk to my ob....

Jess--congrats again on Sean! I'm interested to hear your story!!


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## Henry's_Mamma (Jan 23, 2004)

KKmama ... you may be right. It was SO hard to get started with bfing. I know its not always easy, but ds didn't latch on until his 6 day of life -- I was pumping and bottlefeeding and supplementing (due to the jaundice he was dehydrated and I just couldn't pump enough to hydrate him). I was so afraid it would never work and it would be another "failure," but at the same time, I was bound and determined that it WOULD work. And then it just happened and we've been going strong since. I can't imagine NOT bfing him -- that just would feel so awful to me. And now I've done all these "crunchy" things that I never dreamed I'd do (co-sleeping among them), and I feel so amazed at this incredible bond between my son and me b/c of that. Even when dh is holding him he always looks to see where I am. It is so amazing. I can't wait to watch his personality unfold and help him be the best man he can be.









I'm interested in hearing all the new birth stories as well.


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:

_Originally posted by jess7396_
*Ladies- I don't have long right now, but wanted to let you know that Sean arrived safely at 8:06 am on the 23rd, I will likely only post my whole birth story here- but for now- I'll just thank God again that He brought us through safely, as w/o this c-section, things would've been disasterous. I will post more later- but wanted to thank you ladies again for the continued support, and let you know about my sweet new boy







*
Congrats Jess on Seans birth. I anticipate reading your birth story. Seems you had some intersting things happen! I am glad all of you are fine and that you were able to post.

We've been thinking about you!

Kim


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:

_Originally posted by its_our_family_
*I have enough room for a condo! Yeah, I'm jsut really curious as to why he doesn't want to drop/engage/ and everything else...or more importantly why he changed his mind.

I'm starting to have pretty serious contrax but not regular. They are pulling really odd inside though. They seem to be only half of my uterus or tighter on one side than the other.

I don't have another ob appt until the c/b on Thursday. I wonder if I should call and ask to talk to my ob....

Jess--congrats again on Sean! I'm interested to hear your story!!*
I would. I swear IOF you soulnd like you might have a uterine deformity. That is the way I have contractions, yet I never dilate! I contracted with Jack from about 14 weeks on. My daughter was transverse and it was really weird. Jack was head down but in some cockeyed way and his shoulder presented against the cervix. He had been stuck like that for about 6-7 weeks. It was really weird. They had to pry him out, and ended up having to use a vacuum. (I chose that by the way)
I might would schedule an appointment to talk with your OB, let them check you out and even get a NST strip. Its not going to hurt to see how baby is handling those contractions.

Kim


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

OTF...dh and I had discussed that possibility too. It would make sense. We figured if it were a pelvic problem (bone structure related) that our chiro might be about to tell...that and I had xrays done last march... But who knows about a uterine thing. It really woudn't surprise me!


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

OK, here's my story, or at least what I can get through at this moment while everyone sleeps









I was nervous as you all know, but got more nervous as more and more people came in to intorduce themselves as people who would be in my surgery







: The people were not "nice", not mean or anything, but I really could've used some more friendly people. Anywho my OB showed up and she was great as usual.

The spinal took a lot longer than I remembered it taking before, but it took just fine. They had trouble getting Sean out of me and had to use the vaccuum and lots of pushing on me, etc. I did get nauseous and headachey- but the anesthesiologist gave something to fix that. All was ok, Sean and I were both doing fine, surgery was over- then I asked my OB as she wheeled me into the recovery room "so, how do things look in there?" and she said, "not good, you are ok now, but your uterus had begun to rupture and there is a lot of scarring- we can talk about this later though- go rest and enjoy the baby", I said, "ok, just tell me, can I have more kids?", and she said, "I didn't take your uterus, if that is what you mean, but you cannot safely have any more children- we will talk about it next week- just be glad you are ok now- if you had gone into labor, that rupture would've been disasterous" (I heard her talking to the other surgeon during the birth and heard her say that my previous OB had used a single layer suture and that that was the problem).

Anywho- the bottom line is that I have 3 healthy children, and I have survived it all myself- we are all completely healthy, and I would'nt be here saying that if it weren't for c-section births, and listening to my instincts and a slew of OBs that a lot of people might've ignored and given birth at home-which would be their choice- but I am glad that I listened and am continuing to listen to my OB's advice.

This birth gave me peace with all my c-sections (births







), and I know I have made all the right choices for my babies and myself- I am glad that I always "knew" what I needed to do, and went with that.

What I want people to hear from my story is that you have to listen to your instincts and I believe that God (nature, what-have-you)will let you know what is best for you in birthing your baby. Also- even an un-perfect c-birth is SO very well worth it- I realized that even though I had hoped this c-birth would be a great experience in and of itself- I needed to take the great from it- I made it through what I needed to to have my beautiful healthy son. On the medical side- for those VBAC-ing- please do not ignore any strong pains that you have along what you think is your incision- I had the pain last week (I mentioned it here), and it was the baby's position- but his position was actually starting the rupture at that point- so see your OB if you feel sharp pains along the incision line- I don't know if they could've done an U/S or something- but I do know I was very lucky-since I ignored what I should've taken seriously.

Just want to re-iterate- I have a beautiful, healthy, nursing like champ (no problems with the c-birth and nursing this little man) son and I am so very thankful that he made it here


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:

_Originally posted by its_our_family_
*OTF...dh and I had discussed that possibility too. It would make sense. We figured if it were a pelvic problem (bone structure related) that our chiro might be about to tell...that and I had xrays done last march... But who knows about a uterine thing. It really woudn't surprise me!*
Don't you have a history of miscarriage? I do. I never knew why until after my daughter was born. If you do have a section ask the doctor if your uterus looks "right". Sometimes its hard to tell after its been stretch though.

Kim


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Jess,

Thank you for sharing your story. I am so scared of rupture because my uterus is deformed as it is. I hope to have one more but I often wonder if I am trying my luck. I know that my doctor did a lot of repair work and really stitched me up good knowing I wanted at least one more.

I often wonder how many uterus are on the verge of rupture but because so many of us are repeat csections, avoid it because we do not go into hard labor, etc etc etc. You are not the first woman to tell me that the uterus was in bad shape when they opened them up. My sister who was an OB nurse said she saw it many times, enough times to think people should VBAC in hospitals.

And your message is right on. We must follow our instincts. Listen to our guts and our babies.

{{{HUGS}}}

Now where are the pictures!

Kim


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

OTF--Yes, I've had 2 m/c that I know of. We suspect there may have been one or 2 more but don't know for sure. I'll ask my ob about it when I see her thursday morning (if I can remember







)

Jess--Thank you so much for telling your story! I go see my chiro today and tell him that I've chosen a repeat as opposed to vbac. I'm starting to believe that the main reason I have been so noncommital about it is because my body is telling my otherwise. I think there is a reason this kid is not settling in and a reason my contractions do nothing. This is the very reason I did not want to vbac at home. If I had vbac'ed at the hospital once and this was baby 3 or 4 I would consider being home but not the first time!

As for the incision pain you were talking about... was it on one side or along the whole incision? The place where I seem to get pain (it isnt constant either) is right where I believe the babes head to be. I don't kow if I was closed with a single suture or not. It was a resident that did the stitching up (it was a teaching hospital and I didn't know my ob wasn't doing the birth) so I don't know what he did.


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## KKmama (Dec 6, 2001)

Jess, congrats on the baby, the birth, and everything!

I really appreciate your sharing your story. And I'm *so* glad that everything turned out okay--that you and Sean are fine. I'm sorry that your uterus was a mess, though, and that you can't have more babies...

I'm also really appreciative of your frankness about when to worry about the scar. I know that some C/B women feel pain around their scars (I haven't at all, knock on wood), and I was going to post a question asking if it was normal, if I should expect, dismiss it, etc. (I'd rather discuss it here, though.)


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

Quote:

_Originally posted by Hilary_
*She was somewhat bruised by the massive roll-over. This was a baby that was nearly 10 pounds....*
Not sure if this babe is 10 pounds or not but I am SOOO sore the day after he flips! It feels like my sides are going to burst open. Plus it is next to impossible to sleep because he gets mad if he is transverse and you lay down. I'm either feeling fingers from laying on his head or toes from pushing on his butt!


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

The incision pain- it was on my right side (the first time I got it, we thought I might be passing a kindey stone -that was on Christmas day), it went away and I was pretty sure that it was just the position he was in and said to my dh and my mom that it felt like he was pushing against my scar- we all figured that was normal (and I had some similar pain- though not as bad- during my second pregnancy which had no problems). Anywho- when I had the pain last week, it was a very sharp pain (I could not walk with it) and it was on my lower right side- it did go away when I coaxed the baby to move- but I assume that is when the damage was done. I also, wholeheartedly believe my OB that true labor contractions would've ripped me open.

I thought about not posting my story in fear of making people afraid to VBAC, which I do beleive to be a good thing, but if you are really questioning it- listen to your instincts, that's the best I can say, YK? I just would hate to hear that someone went through a rupture when something I could've said might've prevented it, YK? I don't want to scare anyone, I just don't know where I'd be right now if the worst had happened (remember my original plan was to labor first).


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## KKmama (Dec 6, 2001)

I think information is power... it's much better to know about others' experiences and what to watch for than to blunder along in ignorance (and possible danger). I think everyone here is very much in favor of healthy moms and babies...

I know what you mean about listening to your instincts, though. I did a lot of thinking and reading at the end with ds, because I felt like something just wasn't "right". I wasn't afraid, but I had a feeling things weren't going to go the way I wanted and that I'd better be prepared. It's still early with this one, but I have such a strong sense that it's going to be different (and better).

I finally got an interview set up with a doula who's also a massage therapist. She was very positive about my drs. group... she said she likes them and that it's really the only practice left in town doing VBACs (and that she's done 40-50 births with them) and that they do more than the others in the first place to avoid cesareans (hence their much lower rate). I really hope she's the "one"... I'd love to have a MT be my doula, however this thing goes.


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

Quite around here lately.....

Tomorrow is the big day!!! My c/b is scheduled for 7:30am!

Any last minute advice about having a repeat? I am SOOOO excited!!!! Even though I feel good and this kid could stay put. It doesn't feel like I should be 9 months pg. I did, however start to swell. With ds it started at about 30 weeks. This tim eno swelling till 39 weeks! Maybe that is why I feel so good?!?!


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Well IOF, I have been following your pregnancy for nine months. I am so excited for this dream of yours to come true. I am so glad that you have shared your ups and downs and intimate thoughts about haveing a VBAC vs having a csection. I believe that you have made a decision based on knowledge and that you have gone with your instincts. I hope that no one, NO ONE, ever tells you that you failed or that you should have played the waiting game, etc. You are a testimony to the rest of us who have to make these very same decisions with your honesty and forthcoming emotions.

I look forward to hearing your birth story and revealing of that baby's private parts! I believe we have armed you with everything you need tomorrow, just take my good wishes and prayers!

Enjoy your baby moon!!!

Love, Kim


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## KKmama (Dec 6, 2001)

Iof, I've been thinking about you all day, and I'll be thinking about you tomorrow. I'm so glad that everything will be resolved tomorrow, and I'm looking forward to hearing all about it, too!

The only thing I can think of is the stuff which helped me in the hospital after my C... Tucks (I had bad rhoids), a good nursing pillow, and Clif bars (they got my system ah, moving again).


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

IOF- I am so excited for you







I too, think that you have made your decision well,and you have to be proud that you are following what you feel is right for you and babe









I will be praying for you tomorrow









My advice was about getting the "system going" again too, I gave it on our birth thread









Can't wait to hear your story.


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

Thanks gals!! I'm so excited! I can't wait to tell you all about it!

Ds is home with someone else







I hope he is doing ok.

I used hot apple juice with my ds...I'm going to try the same tomorrow. But if it doesn't work I have some more ideas!!!

Thank you for all of your support...I've really needed it!!


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## Iluvmy2 (Jan 23, 2004)

What a great forum! I have not seen support like this anywhere else







I have had 2 c/b, the first with DS I was 42+ weeks, induced, dialated to 10 and pushed for 3 hours with a midwife, she called the Doc in, seems DS was looking to the right (ain't gonna squeeze outta there like that!) My labor with him was short (went in at 7 was fully dialated at 1:30) tried every position known to man during the pushing, he was just a stubborn boy (still is) who didn't want to cooperate with everyone else. He was 8lbs 13 oz, way bigger than the midwife thought he'd be :LOL So when I was preggers with DD the new doc gave me a 30% VBAC due to medical history and the size difference between me and DH. Thought about VBAC, but I've never been upset about DS birth, so I scheduled the c/b with the precursor that I would try VBC if she came earlier (c/b was scheduled at 38 1/2 weeks) Well she didn't show her pretty face until the doc went in to get her, she was a peanut compared to big bro (6lbs 7 oz) and she swallowed fluid so she was in special care nursery for 2 1/2 days. That is my only complaint becasue it felt I was in the hosipital for surgery since DD was not in the room with us. Do I feel like I missed out on not having a vaginal birth? Nope, going through pit hell wit only one shot of Nubane let me taste labor and pushing with out the ring of fire :LOL

Hope to poke around here more


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## Megs Mom (Mar 19, 2002)

My C-Birth Story


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## Missgrl (Nov 18, 2001)

IOF....sorry I missed wishing you luck before the event! I hope all went well and I can't wait to hear back from you.
I too want to thank you for feeling comfortable to post all your inner feelings with us! I hope being able to come here helped you through all your ups and downs.


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

Well girls....

Bryce Jeremy made his appearance on January 29th at 8:25am!!!!! He weighed in at 8lbs 7.6oz and 20 inches long. He is a little chunk. He looks almost exactly like his big brother as a newborn!

We are still in the hospital but we have wireless internet through the digital cable!

Bryce spent about 30 hours in the special care nursery. They did a chest xray because of rapid breathing and he retained fluid on his lungs. Luckily we had about 2 hours with him before anyhing started. He latched on and nursed like a champ. But he has been on IV fluids since thursday morning so he hasn't nursed very much. The iv should be out in a couple hours so we'll see how his eating changes.

My c/b went spectacular! I am so glad we went this way. My ob was great. They READ my birth plan and all knew it when I got here! We did NOT have eye ointment even! The nurses here are wonderful and so sweet. I coudn't have asked for a better experience!

I'll write more later when I have some more time.

Later ladies!!!


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## Missgrl (Nov 18, 2001)

YIPEEEEEEEEE!


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

:

I am so glad your csection went so well!!! I hope your baby gets back to the boobie milk soon. Sometimes those boys give us a little trouble in the beginning, mine did. I wil be thinking of you. Kim


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## Henry's_Mamma (Jan 23, 2004)

Congrats, Megan!


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## Henry's_Mamma (Jan 23, 2004)

I'm hoping you ladies can offer some insight ... I had my c/b 12 weeks ago. In the last week or so I've been having intermitent pain and stretching sensations along my incision. Not enough for me to take anything, but noticable enough to make me catch my breath. There doesn't seem to be any pattern to it either. Is this a normal part of the healing process or should I be concerned?

TIA!


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## KKmama (Dec 6, 2001)

Woo hoo, Bryce! Congrats to Megan! Hope you're all home soon!

Henry's_Mamma... To be honest, I don't remember very well, but I can say I remember that there were lots of weird sensations down there for a long time (like numb areas, tenderness, funky muscles). I think ~ a yr later, everything felt more or less normal. But I'd definitely ask your ob or midwife about it, to make sure it's not something to be worried about.


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:

_Originally posted by Henry's_Mamma_
*I'm hoping you ladies can offer some insight ... I had my c/b 12 weeks ago. In the last week or so I've been having intermitent pain and stretching sensations along my incision. Not enough for me to take anything, but noticable enough to make me catch my breath. There doesn't seem to be any pattern to it either. Is this a normal part of the healing process or should I be concerned?

TIA!*
It was normal for me. Its just the nerves and stuff coming back "on". As long as it doesnt feel hot or oozing, just take it easy. I still sometimes get these weird sensations in my scar.

Kim


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

I am just bumping this up. Where is everyone? WE need to keep our thread active gals!

I am really getting baby fever. I am trying to see if it passes.


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

OK, without saying anything that will get me in trouble







- I just love it







:LOL when people online (or IRL without an exam) tell other people that their c-sections were not necessary- esp. if the person giving this "advice" is a medical professional. When I was first told that I couldn't have a baby vaginally, I called around to get second opinons, luckily all the OBs and midwives I spoke with said they could not comment without an exam, and that, although rare- there are women whose pelvises cannot birth a baby.

It is so interesting to me the number of people who have tried to tell me that my OB who delivered Sean 2 weeks ago today- is exaggerating about how damaged my uterus was, and how she is probably wrong in saying that labor would've ruptured me for sure. I find it so baffaling that people think they know more about my insides than the woman who cut me open.







What would my OB possibly have to gain by lying to me about this? She knows I wanted more children, she is pushing for a vasectomy for my dh (instead of tubal for me, so it's not like she'll make any money from it).

Is it just impossible for OBs to know of what they speak, to truly be looking out for the best for their patients? Is someone only looking out for your best interests if they tell you what you want to hear, if they tell you all is good, and go forth *naturally*? Is natural always best? I think not.
END OF RANT!


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

jess---You crack me up! I can understand your frustration. I don't have the "luxury" of having such an excuse for my c/bs. not that I feel like I need an excuse. I cannot believe how NOT disappointed I feel in not attempting vbac. I guess it wasn't all the important to me!

btw...I asked my ob about my old incision and such while she was in there and she said everything looked great!!


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

IOF-

None of us need excuses! As for your situation, just b/c you don't have a name for why you needed a c-section- I believe your body and baby said you did, and you listened, and most importantly it is great that you are at peace with it









Also- that's wonderful news that your OB says all is healthy


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

Even my priest had an opinion on it. He said, "well, that is one Dr.s opinon" (about me not being able to have more children safely), and I'm thinking, "well, since she(my OB) and the surgeon that assisted her were the only one's who saw the rupture start, and saw the scarring, etc... I can't really get a second opinion, YK?

I guess I feel that the "Doctors are all idiots who want to get to their next golf game, and don't care about you" attitude is annoying me as of late. I think if you choose carefully (kind of like choosing a husband:LOL ), you can find someone who will care about your health and the health of your baby, and you CAN trust them, without being an ignorant dupped woman.


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Jess,

I am right there on the couch with you. I am frankly getting sick of the conspiracy theories and the thought that every medical physician is out to get us, of course backed by drug companies and the like.
It is shocking to me the women who will actually dismiss serious risk to attempt vaginal deliveries as well. I think I read from someone today saying something to a woman who had a csection for a nearly 11lb baby that she probably could have done it.







: What ticks me off is that, I know people who have big babies (my mother had me and I was 9 and a half lbs). My MIL had huge babies, her first being well over a 11 and closer to 12. She was also ripped to shreds pushing him out with a midwife and a doctor present (she lived in rural AL) This baby also died.







Due to complications from his birth. She was also 43 weeks pregnant according to the midwife. Had she been csectioned there is no doubt he would have lived. Her next three children lived, all whoppers too! All vaginal births. The last baby died attempting a vaginal birth after she had two people recommend a csection to her. When her water broke they had prolapse cord and by the time she was csectioned the baby died. She was unable to have children after that due to uterine prolapse and bladder problems. I will say that my husbands family was much more supportive of my ideals about childbirth than my own family. Both my husbands grandmothers homebirthed all their children, including breech babies, twins, and one weighing close to 12 lbs at birth. All of them breastfed too. Both grandmas had unassisted births, births with midwives, and births with doctors. One grandma attended lots of births with a midwife and even though she thinks having babies at home are great, she will tell you she say she saw a good number of babies die, women die, women bleeding so bad from tears it took them weeks to recover, and women who got infections.

My point to all this is that I am not advocating csections, I am advocating common sense. I was one of those women who was willing to sacrifice almost anything to have a natural vaginal delivery. It almost cost me my baby that first go around. I am meeting more and more women who are willing to take far unnecessary chances to achieve these dream births at the cost of their children and their reproductive organs. It is insane. There seems to be no middle ground for some on the heavy crunchy side of life.

{{{Jess}}} I dont know if it makes a damn but I believe you and I believe your doctor. You dont seem like a peon being lead by the masses. I believe you have made wise choices for you and your family.

Take care,


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

Thanks OTF- I know the women on this thread are all so supportive, and I am at peace finally with all my c-births. I just wish more people could see that natural isn't always best, and stop thinking that they know more than every medical professional out there. It's like most of the people know that there are exceptions, they just refuse to ever believe in one when they hear about it







:














:







:

So sad that people don't think there are any caring Doctors out there, we have a great OB and a great pediatrician, I believe in them, and they did go to med school, which is something more than all the internet searching I can do- I chose them carefully- and I believe in them- and get this- they beleive in me and my kids


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## Monkey (Jun 21, 2003)

so blind


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

Hi Monkey! Glad you found us









Question for everyone- I thought we were getting a sub-forum, is that still happening?


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## pamamidwife (May 7, 2003)

Quote:

_Originally posted by OnTheFence_
*Jess,

I think I read from someone today saying something to a woman who had a csection for a nearly 11lb baby that she probably could have done it.







: What ticks me off is that, I know people who have big babies (my mother had me and I was 9 and a half lbs).*
Jess, with all respect, if a woman isn't even given a choice or an opportunity to attempt a vaginal birth, then how can this be a positive thing all the time?

I will step out of your support thread, but I wanted to point out that YES, I am GRATEFUL for cesarean births. However, when women are told that there is no other way without any other options, then that's a hard thing to swallow. Someone can be at peace with their cesarean, but still, education is important. I cringe at the thought of women believing that they are somehow broken or damaged when it comes to birthing babies vaginally.

And, yes, I have clients who have cesareans. It's always amazing that we have this option - surely it is great for those that need it.

I urge you to look into why this sort of discussion makes you so angry at all of us who point anything like this out. It's like we're supposed to just let women walk around with this badge of how they failed to do something - you can offer support and gentle information without it being an attack on someone's birth experience. That is what I was hoping to do with that post. I hope that you can see that my intention was purely from an empathetic place and not judgemental.


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

Um, not sure what your question is as the quote you started with was not from me, it was in conversation to me. I had previously vented about people with no knowledge of *MY* insides feeling that they know more than my OB, is that what bothered you?


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

FTR- I think the vent of the day here is mainly about strangers assuming they know more about our bodies than our OBs (and we as women)do.

I am not walking around thinking of myself as a failure- I am quite proud that I listened to my own body(which believe it or not- God did not make to birth babies vaginally- just as He makes people with all manner of "imperfections"- is there no one born without limbs? Is there no one born blind?), and chose an OB that I know I can trust







My c-births brought me 3 healthy babies, and I am here to raise them, which wouldn't be the case had I tried to birth vaginally.

But alas, I won't go on about this in our support thread


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:

_Originally posted by pamamidwife_
*I will step out of your support thread, but I wanted to point out that YES, I am GRATEFUL for cesarean births. However, when women are told that there is no other way without any other options, then that's a hard thing to swallow. Someone can be at peace with their cesarean, but still, education is important. I cringe at the thought of women believing that they are somehow broken or damaged when it comes to birthing babies vaginally.

*
Some us are broken and damaged. You seem to think this doesnt occur by this statement above. Last I checked there was only two ways to have a child biologically (minus gestational surrogacy) and that is vaginal or csection.


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## KKmama (Dec 6, 2001)

Maybe I'm being an overly sensitive pg woman, but it seems like there has been more traffic recently on the Cesarean Support Circle thread from others wanting to be "helpful" who clearly have not had cesareans who are trying to "educate" those of us on the thread about the negative aspects of cesarean births.

I think those of us participating in the thread are here because we're looking for a safe place to discuss our births--a place where we won't be judged or admonished. (Ahem--isn't this why we asked for our own subforum?) I think it's fair to say that posts which aim to "educate" are not especially welcome or helpful, despite the intentions of the posters. We have had first-hand experience with cesareans, and most of us are pretty well-versed in all the ins and outs of cesarean birth.

I'm hoping that "uncut" posters will keep this in mind if and when they choose to post. It may also be better for them to just post elsewhere in "Birth and Beyond."

Thank you!

FYI, I'm also e-mailing this to the moderator.


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## pamamidwife (May 7, 2003)

Yes, you are all right. Jess, I was responding to OnTheFence, which was erroneous to mention your name. I apologize.

Perhaps we can start a whole 'nother discussion on how we might educate women in birth without seeming to offend nearly everyone who has had a surgical birth. I think that would be highly enlightening for me - and for many others who have had cesaerans.

I understand about needing a safe space to vent - and I am sorry that I created a risk by posting here for those that are angry with people like myself in general on these boards.

I'm interested to hear what a moderator might add to this issue, but I am aware and respectful enough to just hear what you're saying without the threat of moderator action.







I hope that the women here are able to open their hearts and their minds and hear this.


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## Missgrl (Nov 18, 2001)

Well, here I am the moderator! First, it is important to know the role of the moderator. Foremost, it is my job/duty to make sure all are keeping in line with the rules and regulations that are agreed upon in the user agreement. It is my job to step in when these rules are violated. I see no rules violated here thusfar. *Now* on the other hand, it is difficult for a moderator that has personal feelings about an issue to intervene. That is when a moderator chooses to stay out of the discussion and just stay back and make sure all rules are followeed. But when something is called to my attention, I must make a decision (as a mod and a member) what is best. Since this is a *support* thread, it should remain as such.....for members that have been through a c/s and want to "hold your hand". Or for those that have not had a c/s, but wish to offer support. I don't think anyone involved in this thread had any malicious intentions and it's important to know that. I appreciate the fact that some of you are wishing to be helpful and offer other alternatives. But since this a support thread, we need to leave it as that. The Birth and Beyond forum *is* the place to discuss such issues (i.e. reason for c/s, growing rates of c/s, alternatives to c/s etc.) so lets's start new threads instead of interjecting them into this thread. (thx for those of you who have done that aleady). Let's remember we are all "in this together" and that there is no wrong way to birth a baby.......


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## cynthia mosher (Aug 20, 1999)

If I may add just a bit to this...









In general we do try to uphold an atmosphere of respect for support threads in that posts which have the potential to turn tone to defensive posting are discouraged. I think the exception to this would be in the case that misinformation is being conveyed. Of course, no matter what the topic, members of the community will speak up when they see misinformation posted which has the potential to mislead readers. That's not to say that that has taken place in this thread. I'm just explaining expectations for a support thread.

Another thing - we are opening a cesarean delivery subforum soon. MamaOui, the mod for that new forum, has just delivered and as soon as she feels read to get started we'll set it up. However, the board will not be a support only forum nor will we restrict posting to only those who have had cesareans. I think we can continue to have support threads like this one but the new board will host posts of education and information about the negative aspects of cesarean delivery just as it will host the support threads. If you have any questions or concerns about this you can email me [email protected]

Now, let's allow this support thread to continue along its supportive path.


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:

_Originally posted by Cynthia Mosher_
*If I may add just a bit to this...









In general we do try to uphold an atmosphere of respect for support threads in that posts which have the potential to turn tone to defensive posting are discouraged. I think the exception to this would be in the case that misinformation is being conveyed. Of course, no matter what the topic, members of the community will speak up when they see misinformation posted which has the potential to mislead readers. That's not to say that that has taken place in this thread. I'm just explaining expectations for a support thread.

Another thing - we are opening a cesarean delivery subforum soon. MamaOui, the mod for that new forum, has just delivered and as soon as she feels read to get started we'll set it up. However, the board will not be a support only forum nor will we restrict posting to only those who have had cesareans. I think we can continue to have support threads like this one but the new board will host posts of education and information about the negative aspects of cesarean delivery just as it will host the support threads. If you have any questions or concerns about this you can email me [email protected]

Now, let's allow this support thread to continue along its supportive path.







*
Oy, I was looking really forward to the subforum but now wondering if I will or not. IT looks like it will be a forum to be filled with all the anti- judgemental csection over dramatized information that is often already put out there bothers me. :::sigh:::


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## KKmama (Dec 6, 2001)

Kim, we can still have our Cesarean Support Circle thread on the Cesarean subforum. The bonus will be that people will actually be able to find us, because "cesarean" will be listed in the forum divisions. And I'm being optimistic... because there will be a whole subforum called "cesarean" to post under, there will be no need for anyone to post unnecessarily to our thread (which seems to be the only thing around named "cesarean"). We asked for it--let's see how it works.

Cynthia, can we call it cesarean birth? After all, it's still birth. I don't think the vaginal folks would like theirs called delivery, either.


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## cynthia mosher (Aug 20, 1999)

I think that's a fine name for it. Can't think of any reason why not!!

Kim let's be optimistic that the forum will be a valuable one from all aspects.


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

I did see it coming that the new forum would not be about support. (no smilie to get me in trouble)

I would also like to request that anyone who wants to educate the "uneducated" (Ie- us, evidently) take it to their won threads, where we can respond if we want to, and not try to take over our support thread with their knowledge, that they feel we are laking









I would like to just reiterate what this thread has been for me. It has been a place to come and talk with well educated women who happen to be AP, who have had c-births. We can discuss our feelings, esp. being a part of a "natural" community, and having the most "unnatural" of births, and how we feel judged for that on a daily basis. We can discuss alternatives to c-birth, we can talk about VBAC and it's benefits and risks. Some of us are thankful for our c-births and KNOW that they were necessary and life saving for us and/or our babes(and do not feel the need to be educated about how we could've had a vaginal birth safely). Some feel that theie c-births were unnecessary, and need to talk about it without being labeled "uneducated", they can get support for the sadness over their birth, without judgement on their intelligence. We support any decision a mama makes, as we know that MDC mamas take their time and educate themselves on their options, and in the end, know how to listen to their bodies, and do what is best for their own babies.

This is a support thread, frequented by mamas who know a lot about c-birth, and VBAC, and all related issues. I think we are doing quite well helping each other out, and if at some point we feel that people online know more about our bodies than we and our Dr.s do, well... then, we'll start a new thread and ask for the wisdom of others









OK, crying babe- off I go. Hopefully we can just get back to support now










PS- how long did everyone's bleeding last PP? Mine just picked up again (after being completely gone) at 2 weeks out.


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## Monkey (Jun 21, 2003)

how long did it take for everone's incision to heal COMPLETELY??
mine is just now at its very last point of being almost completly closed!
yuck!
each side closed up real well but the middle just takes for ever!
i put hydro on it and its not infevted or anything, but did any of you have this to?

thanks much all


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

I never had any problems with my incisions healing like that







I would call my OB if I were you.


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## Monkey (Jun 21, 2003)

well he knows about it and said the same thing
i would go back every week for a month after the 6 weeks of having the c section but after going back 1 a week for 4 weeks i coulndt deal with sitting in the waiting room for a nhour and sitting in his room for an hour WAITING for him to just look at it and say, well looks clean see ya in a week!
meanwhile i have two children and a husband all in the room with me trying therer hardest to deal with it all!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

LOL

so my girl freind who had one 9 mos b4 me said her's took a while to heal. it isnt GAPEING open just having a hard time closeing in the middle, anyone eles?


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## Megs Mom (Mar 19, 2002)

Quote:

_Originally posted by jess7396_
*PS- how long did everyone's bleeding last PP? Mine just picked up again (after being completely gone) at 2 weeks out.*
Barely a week except for the occasional tiny trickle for another several.


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## Megs Mom (Mar 19, 2002)

Quote:

_Originally posted by Monkey_
*how long did it take for everone's incision to heal COMPLETELY??*
Three-ish weeks. My OB is AWESOME!


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## Monkey (Jun 21, 2003)

wow 3 weeks!!

wheres your ob? LOL

well i guess everyone is diffrent,


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## KKmama (Dec 6, 2001)

Eek! Incision still open in the middle???? Mine healed super fast (it was still numb/tender in areas for a long time, though, but the incision was closed and "pretty" very quickly).

Post-partum bleeding... I stopped w/i 2 weeks and then started up again, too (which I saw as a signal to slow down, and I did). It definitely wasn't my 1st post-partum period (because I didn't get that for another yr).


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

Yeah, I was thinking maybe the returned bleeding was a sign to slow down too, I guess I will









I am 2 weeks out right now, and my incision is perfect. Granted my OB has a a background in plastic surgery, so I guess she had better "clean" patients up pretty well









A couple more questions I forgot to ask(we were busy discussing my surgery at my one week check), and can't remember from before- how long before I can take tub baths? And how long before I can lift my older kids safely? (they're both around 30 pounds) I know the driving restriction was lifted at 2 weeks, but I can't remember the rest of that stuff. The sex restriction- not an issue







:LOL


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## Monkey (Jun 21, 2003)

jess, do u have the stickys on your incison? I had these little stickys on mine for a while until they fell off. at two weeks mine was still pretty fresh. u must be a super quick healer! what are you taken? LOL

glad you are well, my ob said 6 weeks for sex and 1 a week for baths.


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## Monkey (Jun 21, 2003)

it was like a 2 inch opining righht in the middle of the incision. and u know what the heck is the ob ganna do? sew me up? i had staples and they were taken out adn it looked good. but the stubburn middle just wouldnt close up. it is gross i know and i cant stand it but now today i looked and its about as big as a pea. weird my ob said that im as healthy as a horse and not to worry so im not. its not infected and iot does not hurt
its just gross my stomach has gone down so much now that just standing in the up looking in the mirror i can see it. befor i had to hold up the stomach!
LOL:LOL

i had my son 10-29-03 its been a while.


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

No, no steri strips this time, although I had them in the past. I really think the difference in healing is the difference in surgeon for me. I guess the outside of my body heals well, but the inside- not so good







: .

Oooo- so I could take baths now? I would be very excited about that, for some reason I was thinking I had to wait 6 weeks for baths. I







to take a nice hot bath at night, while dh takes time with the kiddos







, and he bought me a bubbling bath mat thing for Christmas, that I only used once while pregnant, that would be ooh so nice to use now


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## Monkey (Jun 21, 2003)

im mean look my insicion hasnt healed i wouldnt take my ob advice









jk
but i would ask
i remember 6 weeks sex a 1 bath a week..

enjoy enjoy!


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## Susu (May 31, 2002)

hi, first let me say how happy i am to find this support thread. when i first found mothering i loved it. then when i looked for info on c/b i had to step back. it took me a while to find this thread, but am i glad i did. all of you that have been advocating for a new forum: you are my heros. the information provide here, like c/b plans, how to prepare, how to manage post op, are invaluable. i have many questions ready when the c/b sub-forum is ready! (and i am very optomistic. and if anti-c/b posters arrive we can just start a thread titled "how to educate those who think everyone who has c/b needs educatin'"









to answer other's questions based on my own experience:

1. it was about 2 months before the pain from the internal incisions stopped. my outside incision healed pretty quickly.
2. i had pp bleeding for 6 weeks.
3. i was told to wait 10 days before i got the incision wet. don't know about baths. the thought of cleaning the tub put that thought out of my mind.
4. i got the sticky tape because my ob told me that it would make the scar less noticible. however i seldom wore them because my scar is so low, i don't even see it.

-su


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## Megs Mom (Mar 19, 2002)

Quote:

_Originally posted by Monkey_
*wow 3 weeks!!

wheres your ob? LOL

well i guess everyone is diffrent,







*
Dallas, move here and we'll get together.


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## Monkey (Jun 21, 2003)

LOL megs mom








u know, i used to live in texas, way doiwn south in UVALDE

YUP go ahead and blink its bigger than u think kinnipa tx was rigt next door.. what a joke that was. i went there tolive with my best freind and "try" collage HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

:LOL


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

Hey gals....















:







:























Now that that is out of my system.....

I'm 10 days past c/b and my bleeding is minimal. With my ds it was gone at about 3 weeks (sex resumed just after that) and baths then too. I think the key to those 2 things is bleeding. Once it is gone you are "allowed" to do anything.

No I'm hoping that my bleeding this time is almost gone. With my ds at 6 weeks pp I had my first ppaf (and yes I bfed exclusively every 1.5 hours day and night....instant fertility I guess....)

I have the steri strips but they are starting to fall off. My incision is also getting back feeling. I'm also barely taking pain killer, maybe one percocet every 2 days.

My ob said when you feel confortable doing something you can. I'm ready for the 2 week mark to be up aso I can carry ds again.. I can't believe i miss that!

Oh, and my ob said to expect a start up of bright red blood again around 2 weeks or so from where the scab from the placenta falls off. Maybe that is what some of you are experiencing.


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## KKmama (Dec 6, 2001)

I had a really great VBAC dream last night... And the baby looked like a white, red-headed Buckwheat--even down to the look on his face... (very funny... the red hair will probably happen, but *everyone* in our family has very boring straight hair).

But I had kind of a "mixed" hospital tour yesterday. The hospital itself is fabulous, but the women leading the "orientation" session didn't know diddly squat about anything (and said some erroneous things about car seats







), so I think I'm going to have to call our pediatrician and the L & D nurses' station to get the answers. I'm disappointed, because all this sort of info was available in the tour at the hospital I birthed at in CA. Oh well. I'm writing them a letter with some suggestions of things to change...

Anyway, I'm feeling all pysched about our doula and working on our birth plan etc. I also realized this morning that I need to work on our "contingency" plans, too. My practice will let me go to 42 wks, but I seriously doubt any longer than that. My ob is the most popular one there, and I realized that I probably ought to talk to her about whether I should go ahead and get on her schedule right now for a C at 42 wks or shortly thereafter... I really don't want to do it, because it seems like it's bad karma (everything looks very positive for the VBAC), but it also seems like it would be smart, because I just don't really believe they're going to let me go any later (one of the compromises I have made and accepted is that I am at an OB only practice), and if I have to have a C, I want her to do it.

I'm 27 wks now, and everything is great...

Editing because I want to add more explanation for why I'd like to get something on the schedule... my OB is the most popular one there, *and* she's had a VBAC herself... I'm afraid that if the need to schedule a C arises later on, either she'll be too booked up and I'll have to go with someone else, or I'll have to do it earlier than I would like in order to have her do it.

The baby has about 5 elbows this morning, and they're all aimed at my bellybutton, which is a little tender...


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## Henry's_Mamma (Jan 23, 2004)

My pp bleeding stopped (except for the occasional spotting) about 2.5-3 weeks pp. Unfortunately for me, and despite ebfing, af has now returnef 13 weeks pp. Darn.







I think that's why my incision was feeling oddly over the last week or so.

My incision "closed" about 3-4 weeks pp. I had a lot of oozing and one-side that just wouldn't heal, but no infection.


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## Henry's_Mamma (Jan 23, 2004)

I have a question about timing of pg and being a candidate for a VBAC. My OB said to wait 2 years for complete healing to be a good candidate for a VBAC. Is that 2 years from delivery to delivery or 2 years from delivery to start of next pregnancy (or something in between)? In an ideal world I'd love to have my kids 30 months apart, but only if that will be a safe amount of healing time for a VBAC trial. I'm not planning on ttc anytime soon, but I guess I just want to plan ahead.

Thanks!


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

I've never heard the 2 yr rule. I got pg with Sweetpea when ds was aboput 5 months old and was told I was a candidate....

I was also an "unlucky" one with af returning at 6 weeks pp with t...we'll see how it goes this time!


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

I was told 18 months from delivery to delivery, and that is exactly what I had with my first 2, and I was planning to VBAC.


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## KKmama (Dec 6, 2001)

New thread started here:

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...hreadid=114630


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