# My unborn baby has passed away: Update 3/1



## newcastlemama (Jun 7, 2005)

Dear mamas,
I am 13 weeks pregnant and I went to the ER today for bleeding (red,clots). I looked on the ultrsound monitor to see my baby laying there not moving and a no heartbeat. I knew right then my baby had gone to be with the Lord. I am so very sad right now. Suddenly my life has changed..I am no longer having a baby this summer. I am no longer "pregnant" technically. Now I am just supposed to let my baby come out. We will have a funeral for "her" (dreams) in our backyard and plant a special flower. I am so sorry I never got to meet her. I wanted her so badly.
Please tell me how I can naturally make the baby come out faster as I am having a hard time with the idea of letting her lie lifeless in my body. Thank you, Jennifer


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## BookGoddess (Nov 6, 2005)

I'm so sorry for your sad news. It is the worst feeling to be pregnant then lose everything so fast.









I hope the other mamas here can answer your question but I didn't want to read your post and not respond.


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## em&namama (Apr 26, 2005)

I am so sorry. I am in the same position as you. At 10 weeks, last week, I found out my baby no longer had a heartbeat. I, too, am waiting.

I have been feeling a little better about it today and yesterday. Even though I am going through it I still don't know what to say to make anyone feel better. My husband has been real good about just giving me my space and not expecting much from me.

I guess I just see it a little differently. I am sad about the loss of my hopes and joy that were forthcoming but the baby didn't seem real to me yet.

I hope for both of us that the process of going the natural route won't go on for too long. I feel like my life is in limbo and as sad as I am to see it end, it's inevitable and I want to be able to mourn my loss and move on. I can't do that yet. I'll be praying that you will find peace during this difficult time.


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## AutumnMama (Jan 2, 2004)

Jennifer,
I just wanted to say how sorry I am








I'm sure the wise Mamas here will have some good advice for you.

I hope your heart heals gently


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## rachelle-a-tron (Apr 13, 2002)

Sending you Mamas love & strength.


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## BethanyB (Nov 12, 2005)

First off, I am sorry for your loss. I just got done waiting for a m/c to happen, as well as a few other women on this board. Read through "still waiting". There is good info there. We all were waiting for our m/c's. Some of us let it happen naturally, and some of us (myself included) couldn't wait any longer and took inducing medication. There are herbs you can take to speed the process, but they can increase bleeding. Unfortunatley, everything seems to have a side affect. If you want more info, feel free to pm me.


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## mama4gals (Nov 15, 2003)

Mamas, I'm so sorry you have to go through this. It is a terribly tragic thing. Newcastlemama, my first m/c was at 13 wks also, very sudden and unexpected. I went to the ER bc the bleeding was so intense, and fortunately everything passed naturally. My next 3 m/c's were much earlier, so no hosp visit and no intervention needed. I don't really have any advice about hurrying the process along, bc I've never had to. But I do know a lot of mamas choose to wait, and sometimes that can be a long time. Some mamas are comforted by the slow departure--it gives them time to get used to the idea. Other mamas just want closure as soon as possible. My own personal (non-medical, of course) opinion is to let it happen naturally unless doing that would compromise your health (infection or whatever). But that choice is completely up to you, your dh, and your dr. You will find a lot of support here. Let us help you get through this. Hugs to you both.

Liz


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## mzfern (Nov 16, 2004)

Be gentle with yourselves, mamas









Love and healing thoughts to you both.


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## TeaBag (Dec 18, 2003)

I am praying for you both.


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## coleslaw (Nov 11, 2002)

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I don't know anything about how you can get the baby to pass more quickly, but I do know that it is very important for you to drink plenty of liquids, stay away from alcohol (dehydrating) and to rest as much as possible. Best of luck to you.


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## broodymama (May 3, 2004)

Oh mama, I am so sorry to hear about your little one.


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## GearGirl (Mar 16, 2005)

I'm sorry for your loss.


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## taradt (Jun 10, 2003)

I am so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself during this hard time

tara


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## newcastlemama (Jun 7, 2005)

Thank you so much for your loving words, thoughts, ard prayers. I had the baby 2/28 (yesterday) at 6:30 am. I saw the baby and everthing. I started bleeding a lot but the ER dr told me I would the night before so I thought I was okay.

To make the story short, I had an appointment at 9 am with my OB. I blacked out and went into shock from blood loss in her office walking to a room. I was sent by ambulance to the hospital. My blood pressure was 80/40 and there was blood gushing down my legs and all over the carpet. Fortunately I was able to avoid a transfusion (to the medical staff's suprise) and my ultrasound showed I didn't need a D n C. My Ob just came to the ER and removed my last blood clots. I had to stay overnight and my husband cuddled me in my bed as we watched TV and joked about how we wanted an overnight getaway at a B and B for so long. I was also treated so well by the staff there. They were very sensitive and affirming.

We buried her this morning in my engraved silver heart jewelry box. Her name is "Rose Saxelby" and we laid her to rest under a rose bush in the backyard with a bench next to it. We then released her to the Lord and told her we loved her and would miss her. I feel so relieved at this point and like the burden is lifting. Thank you for reading this and mourning with us.

Bless you, Jennifer and family


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## Debstmomy (Jun 1, 2004)

I am so sorry. I am glad your husband was with you.


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## BookGoddess (Nov 6, 2005)

You gave your daughter a beautiful name. I'm glad you were able to bring Rose home to give her a sweet farewell. I think she knows how much you love and miss her.


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## taradt (Jun 10, 2003)

What a beautiful name and a lovely tribute to your daughter
thanks for sharing Rose with us

tara


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## umami_mommy (May 2, 2004)

ncmama, i am glad you are okay! how scary!

i was lucky. i never knew when the heartbeat stopped. no u/s, just some blood last weekend. then just after midnight tuesday morning i started cramping. (i found out later, just following the dark of the moon)

we wrapped the little body in one of my son's baby blankets. it was cold and snowing here but my partner built a fire on the ground next to where our beloved kitty is buried, under the lilac bush. the fire warmed the ground enough to dig a hole. we buried the little bundle in the warm ground and covered it with ashes and warm earth. back to the universe from which she came. of course it was windy and very cold, chasing me back inside before i could really say or even feel anything.

it is a very pretty spot in the summer. my son and me planted bulbs there in the fall... english bluebells and cyclamen. i planted sweet woodruff and foxglove there earlier in the year, after the cat died. there is a little windchime in the tree too. our other cats like to go there and lay on the flat rocks we put there to protect everything.

i am sorry for rambling, i am very sad and overwhelmed this morning.

hugs for everyone, i hope everyone find some little thing to brighten her day today.


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## ashler00 (Feb 22, 2006)

Im sorry about your baby, thats really sad. Im glad that you are ok,im sure Rose knows how much you love her.


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