# So tired of the waiting...



## porcelina (May 2, 2007)

I went in for my 7 week appointment and the doctor suspected a missed miscarriage. I had had a scan at 4w5d, where they saw a yolk sac, but at 7 weeks there was only a fetal pole and the pregnancy was measuring closer to 6w. They scheduled me for an ultrasound at the hospital to confirm at 7w5d, where they said, "oh, well, it's measuring 6w2d, and everything looks fine, it's just early." So now I have to wait for 1-2 weeks to go back to see whether anything has changed.

The thing is, I know there is nothing growing. I have had two early losses, then an ectopic, and then 2 successful pregnancies. I can tell the difference. Early in this pregnancy, I had nausea and could feel pulling and stretching sensations, I was bloated, etc. Then, my symptoms stopped. I am not even bloated anymore (just a bit larger than normal, given that there is something tiny in the uterus). No nausea, no pulling, no sensations, nothing. So, I just want to move on, and get it over with, and I am sick of them trying to give me false hope that maybe there could be growth. I want to get this over with so we can start trying again.

Of course, I understand they want to confirm, but two weeks? Crazy.


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## heatherdeg (Dec 30, 2003)

I had multiple losses that went in slow motion. It was agony and mine often played out to 13-15 weeks. On the flip side, one took.

Deep breaths. Or try guided meditation when it gets really bad. There is a free library of them on the Chopra site.

Hugs, mama.


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## porcelina (May 2, 2007)

Thanks, heatherdeg, for your response! Well, 13-15 weeks is a very, very long time. 2 weeks sounds like nothing in comparison. Now I'm wondering if it is possible for there to just be abnormally slow growth. Meditation sounds like a good idea. Thanks,


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## porcelina (May 2, 2007)

Well, after reading through the stories at misdiagnosedmiscarriage.com, I am starting to second guess everything. I am definitely now thinking that I want my body to do things naturally, or at the very least, I want to be absolutely 100 percent certain there is no growth whatsoever before going forward with a D&C. I have a tiny glimpse of hope, even though I am convinced that my symptoms are gone.

I just looked up my medical records from my missed miscarriage in 2005, and it was quite eery. The first scan, when I was supposed to be about 7 weeks, was measuring 6 weeks 0 days, a yolk sac was noted, and a gestational sac of 1.7cm was measured. At the second scan, 6 days later, they noted a 3mm area which they suspected was a fetal pole, and noted a yolk sac measuring 5mm. They did not note the size of the gestational sac at that scan, nor did they give a measurement of the estimated average gestational age. But, I can't help but wonder, could that have just been a slow growing pregnancy? The note at the end said that they recommended a follow up scan in 7-10 days. But, did my doctor tell me that? No. She said it was a missed miscarriage and my body did not recognize it. So, she gave me misoprostol, I took it, began bleeding the next day, and then bled and spotted for 44 days, including a trip to the ER when I passed a clot that caused my cervix to dialate so much I was in excruciating pain. Could all of that have been avoided?? Water under the bridge now, and I wouldn't change anything for the world, as I now have 2 dumplings whom I love with all of my heart. But, wow. I will never let that happen again and I really want to help shift doctors' thinking about missed miscarriages!

A little waiting is totally worth it for peace of mind. Now, if I could just focus on my work instead of scouring the internet!


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## Shiloh (Apr 15, 2005)

Fetal pole is a good thing, maybe it was a late implantation or your dates are off.

I pray for you next time you will have a solid strong heartbeat.


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## pattimomma (Jul 17, 2009)

How are you holding up? When is your next appointment? I am so sorry this is happening to you! I linked my misdiagnosed miscarriage that ended in tragedy below to be support in the waiting game. I wish I had waited!

http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1347733/what-is-going-on-with-my-body

http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1347990/dont-let-this-happen-to-you


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## porcelina (May 2, 2007)

*Patti,* I had read your story (don't let this happen to you) and I am so sorry for your loss. That is such a horrible situation! And, you went straight to the doc due the legitimate concerns about ectopic, very familiar to me. I cannot believe what happened to you, it must have been so difficult to make that decision. It is good that you have access to and can understand the medical literature so that you could make an informed choice. It is stories like yours that are encouraging me that going through this wait, while difficult, is nothing in comparison to the possibility of letting the doctors make such a mistake.

I ended up requesting an ultrasound in 7 days instead of 14. Even if there is only slight growth, I will want to wait again. But, if there has been absolutely no growth, I think I will be able to move forward knowing the pregnancy was not viable.

Again, I am so sorry for your tragic loss and I truly wish you another future healthy pregnancy.


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## porcelina (May 2, 2007)

Just updating here in case anyone is searching through old posts like I was and wanted to know the outcome. Went in for follow up at what would have been 8w4d. I saw from the pictures in the abdominal that there had been no change except that the sac was no longer round. They didn't say much at the ultrasound, but I knew it was what I had suspected. Then, started some light bleeding about 2 hours later. Waiting for it to happen naturally and hoping that it goes smoothly...


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## pattimomma (Jul 17, 2009)

I'm sorry to hear that


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## heatherdeg (Dec 30, 2003)




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## porcelina (May 2, 2007)

Another update -- partly so I can just have this written down! I started bleeding on what would have been 8w4d. Today is now day 9 of bleeding. The bleeding was pretty light in the beginning, then got a bit heavier. I have had period cramping the last few days, for which I took ibuprofen and then felt fine. Yesterday pain was a bit greater, and fearing my previous experience of pain (previous miscarriage), I took a percocet to get through the afternoon. Lots of heavy bleeding yesterday, passed what might have been placenta around noon. Then, today, soaked through 3 pads in an hour (one went all the way through to the seat of the car, filled in just the 15-20 mins I was dropping off my son at preschool), and then passed a large clot.

Edited to add: on day 10 of bleeding, definitely passed the embryo. Given the previous day's bleeding, I put on a Depends, and at about 8:30 in the morning, felt a gush coming, and ended up passing what seemed like two plums connected. It was round and firm, I assume maybe the sac with the attached placenta. There were whitish parts. I didn't spend too much time looking at it because the kids were around and had to get my eldest to preschool, put it in fridge, and then drove it over to the doc's office for testing (this is our 3rd miscarriage).


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