# Poll: Whose last name does your dc use?



## ian'smommaya (Jun 7, 2004)

I have a hyphenated last name, as does dear son. So whose last name did you give your child/ren? Yours, theirs or a brand new made up on?


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## LTurtle (Aug 7, 2012)

I said other. My kids have both names but no hyphen, so for most purposes my maiden name is a second middle. We might have done a hyphenate, but my maiden name is really long and I thought hyphenating it would just be cruel. My DD uses her full name when she introduces herself though, so unless you see it written you wouldn't know.


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## marilyn612 (Feb 11, 2014)

DD has my DH's last name. I didn't change my name after marriage


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## One_Girl (Feb 8, 2008)

My dd has her dad's last name.


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## katelove (Apr 28, 2009)

I voted other. Both girls have DH's last name as their last name on their birth certificates and my last name as their second middle name.

However, I use both names, unhyphenated, as my last name so people often do the same with them as well.


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## farmermomma (Oct 30, 2012)

They both have my last name. Neither partner was that great in pregnancy and I especially wanted 2 to have same last name as 1.


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## monkeyscience (Feb 5, 2008)

Hmm... probably should have picked other, but I put "mine" and "theirs", because dh's last name IS my last name. So we all have the same last name. It seems odd to me that that isn't an option, when it was once (and may or may not still be) the most common configuration in the US.


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## pokeyac (Apr 1, 2011)

My son has my wife's last name and my last name as his second middle name. Since I carried the baby, we thought it would be a good connection to give the baby DW's name. A hyphenated name would have been long and a bit cumbersome.


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## Peony (Nov 27, 2003)

Both of our last names, no legal hyphen. I do hyphenate their names for everything though. I specially choose no hyphen but double last name, thinking that it would be easier for them to drop a name in day to day use if that is what they chose. I found that no one knew what to do with the first last name (mine) and would often ignore it. All the kids still use both names.


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## sillygrl (Feb 10, 2008)

I chose "mine" and "theirs" because I changed my name when I married, so they have the same last name as their dad and I. I still use that name even though we're divorced, because I didn't want to confuse them (they were young) anymore than necessary after the split.


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## pdxpj (Mar 28, 2014)

Child one uses father's family name. I used both for that marriage.
Child two uses my family name although his birthcertificat shows both names, no hyphen. Child two is gift of second partnership, then marriage and DH is sadly now in heaven. I believe it is easier to child two to use my name thereby avoiding painful discussion about daddy's whereabouts.


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## mamadelic (Sep 18, 2009)

I chose made one up. I have 3 kids. 3 diff dads and situations. #1 got his dad's last name (he's a deadbeat and I kind of wish I didn't but I'm not too fond of my maiden name). #2 got his own last name of my creation. So glad I did this. I didn't like my last name, his dad was estranged from his paternal side and didn't care to pass the name on so we gave him a special name of his own. #3 - I'm happily married to dad and baby has his last name. I guess the point is it really doesn't matter. It's all about what feels right.


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## Kristinelm (Apr 22, 2011)

Our boys got their dads last name, our girl got my last name. All got the other parents last name as a middle name. I think ideally, all children would get their mothers name!


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## Lyonsworth (Feb 22, 2011)

My DS's last name is a combination of mine and my partners. My last name is long and I didn't want to hyphenate so we used part of my last name in combination with my partners to create a "new" last name. It felt natural and was an easy decision for us but we have certainly received a lot of grief from our families. To us it honored both families but to them it was too middle of the road to honor either. We'd do it again though and will for the next one.


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## swede (Nov 21, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *pdxpj*
> 
> Child one uses father's family name. I used both for that marriage.
> 
> Child two uses my family name although his birthcertificat shows both names, no hyphen. Child two is gift of second partnership, then marriage and DH is sadly now in heaven. I believe it is easier to child two to use my name thereby avoiding painful discussion about daddy's whereabouts.


I'm sorry for your loss, but are you saying you want to avoid discussion about your deceased husbands whereabouts with the child or with others?


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## LittleBlackBug (Aug 6, 2009)

My daughter has my last name while my son has my husband's last name. We both wanted our last names to continue on.


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## Katie Shell (Apr 25, 2011)

We all have the same last name. I took my husband's when we got married and our children also have the same last name. Why isn't that a option? Isn't that the most common?


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## bruna (Jan 16, 2013)

DC has my last name, with a modified version of his father's surname as his middle.
I felt pretty strongly about giving my son my last name. If our family stays strong and endures, we have considered that we all change our surname to the modified middle conjoined to my surname.
This pleases my poetic self greatly, and naming is so special...
Great topic...as a child of the 80s with mom's maiden as a middle, and father's surname, I certainly was an outlier...


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## capucine (Feb 4, 2012)

My own parents hyphenated my mother's FIRST name onto my first, and her LAST onto my father's last. I grew to adulthood successfully feminist, but let me tell you, it wasn't because of the name. Of the many groundbreaking experiments my parents tried in child rearing, the name thing brought little and caused much hassle. I was downright gleeful to ditch my maiden name when I got married.

I am now raising my children unconcerned about saving my maiden name, because I am 100% sure it is not vital to raising a feminist child. Funny story - I got called for jury dury six times in eight years because the DMV and voter rolls they draw names from chopped my name up different ways, so I got called for every flavor. That finally ended when I married. Hyphens are awful with computer systems.

Just wanted to share that perspective.


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## Peony (Nov 27, 2003)

I do feel bad that my children have the whole two last name thing. For me, it was a last resort to give our children two last names. I am the last remaining family member who reproduced and carries that name. I am hopeful that perhaps one of my four children might carry it on at least a while longer. DH absolutely refused for the children not to have his last name. So two last names it was. I've always told the children that they can do whatever they want with the last names when they get older.


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## Margo B (Oct 4, 2012)

We decided to choose a new family name when we had our commitment ceremony, and our baby will share that same new last name. People (mostly family) still don't believe that the new last name is real or going to stick since we haven't legally changed it (yet?) but we have assured them that it is, and that the baby will have that new last name too, which sort of seals the deal in my opinion.


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## Tiffa (Mar 24, 2013)

OURS.  I took my husbands name and it's the name our son carries as well.


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## orangemomma (Jan 6, 2012)

My children have a new last name that we created - it's 50% of my last name and 50% of his combined. Sounds perhaps a bit weird but it is a lovely last name - just don't want to say more out there on the internet ;-)


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## manysplinters (Oct 1, 2012)

Mine have both last names (mine, then my partner's, with no hyphen). My last name isn't one I would wish on any school-age child, so generally we just use my partner's when referring to the kids' names, and they can decide later if they keep 2 last names or drop one/use it as a second middle name. I have no issues either way, but for travelling internationally with one parent, I felt it would be better if their ID has both names on it.


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## RStelle (Jul 12, 2011)

My parents gave my sister & I a different last name than either of them, we have my grandmother's last name, from before she got married. It caused lots of confusion to have 3 last names in one family, but I love it and so does my sister. There was no way I would ever change my name, and I also just would never consider my kids not having my last name, It was just super important to me, because there is so much meaning behind the name for me, and it sounds cool. My partner was kinda like "eah, I don't really care either way", so we went with my last name for our kids. I do have to say....I think everyone should do what is right for them, but it does bother me how so many people just give their kids the dads last name without even thinking about it, they don't even consider using the moms last name, even if the mom would never change her name when she got married.


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## Parker'smommy (Sep 12, 2002)

Yah, I guess it's "other"> I Took my husband's last name when we got married, and then all 3 kids have our last name. ITs' pretty common around here, even in San Diego county, but I guess not here at Mothering.....lol.


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## Aufilia (Jul 31, 2007)

I took his last name when we got married so the kids have that same last name. I'm divorced but I still have it, too. I might add my maiden name back in as a middle name or maybe hyphenate, but I'm don't really have an overwhelming feeling that I need to. I identify strongly with my family of birth, but I identify more strongly with my children as family, and really, it's just a name. Thousands of people other than my ex have it so I don't see why sharing that last name really should define who I am anyway. And tt does make it easier for paperwork purposes.


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## LoveChild421 (Sep 10, 2004)

We were not married at the time we had our children, so I gave them their father's last name mostly so no one would question if they had the same father or who their father was. When we married recently, I dropped my middle name and made my maiden name my middle name and took my husband's last name. I needed to keep my maiden at least as my middle name because I earned my degrees before I married.


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## oneserenityone (Dec 29, 2013)

I didn't change my name when I got married.
Our son's first & middle name sounded best with my husband's last name so that's what he got.
This time around the name we've picked for our daughter sounds better with mine, so we'll have one of each :


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## delightedbutterfly (Oct 5, 2006)

I chose other because while currently it looks like we all have the same last name there was some last name juggling when we had our first.

We weren't married when I was pregnant with my first and I refused to get married while pregnant. We were only together 9 months before we found ourselves pregnant on BC.

The name issue was one that was a well fought issue for that first pregnancy. I wasn't married and I was adamant that the child would have my last name and we would change it if we ever got married, I have always wanted my children to have the same last name as me so having my last name while unmarried seemed the smartest move - especially if there was any chance the relationship might not work. Now-DH was adamant that the child would have his last name because "that's just what you do" and "it was super important to him to pass his name on". So after lots of fighting and two weeks of being at a standstill and not talking, I did a lot of research and realized that if we gave our child a double barrel non hyphenated last name that if we were ever to split I could much easier ditch his last name off the end and just keep mine than if it was hypenated.

In the end we did end up getting engaged when she was four months old (he would have asked sooner but I told him outright that I would not entertain the thought or idea of marriage while I was pregnant. And married when she was just over a year and a half. And then the silly part was... it took *me* forever to actually change my last name







.

My maiden name became her second middle name and because of the way it was done without a hypen, her birth certificate looks the same and they said I didn't have to do anything to change it, just simply stop using it as a double barrel. I had to change a few of her records but it was simple 

My second we were married and we decided that for her and any future children we'd use a family name that was important to us in some way in the second middle spot.

But we now all have DH's last name and that's fine by me


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## kblackstone444 (Jun 17, 2007)

My first son, I used his father's last name- L*******. Big mistake. Not only did his father not remain in his life, but I spent his entire childhood with a different last name as my child and having to explain every time I called the doctor, school, etc, who I was.

My second son, I gave him my last name, S*******, for the exact same reasons why I shouldn't have given my first son his father's last name.

When I marry my fiance, I will hyphen my last name. S*******-K*****, so that part of my name will be my little one's last name, and part of my name will be my fiance and stepchildren's and future children's last name. When my little one's 18 (or, if his biological father ever consents to let him change his last name), I will likely drop the S******* part of my last name and just go with K*****, so that I will then have my Husband's last name and end the confusion. lol


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## OkiMom (Nov 21, 2007)

I choose other. I changed my last name to my husband's when we got married. Three of our 4 children have our last name. Our son has a hyphenated last name his great-grandpas (husband's mothers father) last name-our last name. My grandpa in law is the last of his family's line, he has 3 girls. We choose to give our son a hyphenated last name so if he choose to he could use his great grandpa's last name when he got older. Hes also named after two of his great grandpas so its an "all in the family" last name. Honestly its a bit of a pain, I have to repeatedly explain that YES my husband is ALL of the children's father not just the girls.


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## philomom (Sep 12, 2004)

My kids bear a hyphenated name. Mine first, then his. I told dh it was better to keep it alphabetical.


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