# November/December '02 --the latest incarnation



## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Okay, here it is. A new thread. :LOL

Eli is cute and handsome and I love to kiss and squish his BeanBean Babyness. :LOL


----------



## abranger (Dec 15, 2001)

thanks for starting this!

We are on chicken pox watch right now. The times is ticking away and no pox







: She got exposed from a vaxed kid a day care. This was the best thing for us as she can still go to dc while she is possibly contagious. I really hope she gets it. (although I must say it does feel weird to hope she gets sick







)

Amy


----------



## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

casina- I LOVED your thought on kids having "issues"- they don't have an "issue" unless people make it an issue. Kids are just kids, they are unique and individual, and they don't have "problems" unless someone says they do (like people telling me my kid has an un-natural attachment and addiction to my breast... UN-NATURAL???!?) Anyway, that thought made me feel good. I'm getting "advice" from every end possible about how we're spoiling our son and he shouldn't sleep with us and shouldn't be using my boob as a pacifier and such. (I'm sorry, I thought he was MY child, and I could parent him however I wanted?) He's still so much of a ~baby~ to me... 17 months in the whole scheme of life is NOTHING. He can nurse until he's 4 for all I care! He'll still be a baby to me...

We had chicken pox here, too. DH was so excited, he called all his friends with kids to come over for a Chicken Pox Party, LOL. Most of them had already been vaxed, though. Crystal had been vaxed and she still got a mild case due to her weak immune system. Julianna just got a few bumps on her legs (we thought they were bug bites from the lake) and had a fever for a day. We never would have known she had the Pox if Crystal hadn't broken out all over her face a few days later. Then it was like a lightbulb moment- "OH! That's what they were!" It was quick and painless and now we're done with the chicken pox in this house







I would highly suggest getting your kids exposed while they're still young. I've heard that babies get a milder case of them usually, unless there are underlying health issues or decreased immune response, etc. Like I said, we hardly even noticed the babies' symptoms at all...


----------



## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

PS, It takes 7-14 days after exposure to break out with the Pox. They are no longer contagious after they break out.


----------



## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

I've been kind of wondering how Eli will get the chicken pox, since everyone seems to get vaccinated these days (it's a requirement now for school attendance in PA). But then, he did manage to get the measles somehow... so I guess I shouldn't worry just yet. :LOL


----------



## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

casina~I am interested in unschooling my DD once she gets old enough. That means that you don't use any sort of curriculam, right? They just learn what they need to. How did you face your family on this issue? Because I know to most people, not going to school is just the worst, especially the older generation. What do you usually do with your kids in a day. Do they read a lot? Sorry for all the questions.... do they drive you nuts by always being there, hanging off of your legs?


----------



## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

We are most likely going to homeschool. I was homsechooled until I got my GED at 16 and started college, and I loved it! We'd definitely get the kids involved in a homeschool group, and 4H, and church and stuff, so the kids can have some interaction and structure. I'm so excited- my mom has already started sending me all her homsechooling info. about books and curriculum and stuff. I like the idea of letting the kids learn at their own pace. My parents were able to travel whenever they wanted and take us along so we learned a lot just from being exposed to different environments.


----------



## *solsticemama* (Feb 8, 2003)

DecemberSun your mom sounds pretty progressive. How great for you. As well as homeschooling I seem to remember that you said she nursed you till you were 3 or thereabouts.


----------



## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

I am/will be homeschooling all my kids, but I'm definately not an unschooler and never will be. :LOL I'm way too anal to pull that off. Plus, it seems to me that (ironically enough) in a state like mine (second most stringent set of laws regarding homeschooling in the union) it would actually require more organization on my part to unschool. I'd have to work harder to make sure that I was doing everything I needed to to meet the requirements of the state. It's a real pain in the neck, so even if I was naturally inclined that way, I'd likely have reconsidered after reading over the state laws.

My mom totally understands why I want to homeschool, and while the IL's weren't terribly enthusiastic about it, they have to concede that I've got my s*** in gear. (Without ever saying the s word, of course!) :LOL SIL is a teacher at a *very* conservative, private, parochial school. She has some strong feelings about homeschooling, but I think that in her mind she sees it as a step in the 'right' direction. She totally subscribes to that elitist bunk that they push on private school kids.


----------



## kerc (May 9, 2002)

casina i think it is interesting that you think your kids have led you to parent the way you do. I totally agree. Erin would never have been in our bed if she had been a laid back baby! There's a section in the baby book by dr. sears that talks about the personality of parent and personality of baby. I've often thought that if I didn't breastfeed and didn't have such a fussy baby, then I wouldn't know her NEARLY as well as I do.

chicken pox -- send it my way. Although I thought erin might have gotten it before, she hasn't really had it.

sandals...want to see pictures! Especially of the cheapo diaper bag. I too regret my diaper bag purchase. Next bag will be different and more durable!

we went to a petting farm today (chicken, bunny, llama, goats, lambs). Erin was afraid of everything! But that was ok. I think she really got a lot out of seeing irl what the animals look like. Right before we were leaving erin said "chickie" directed toward the chickens.

and I also realized that i need to bring erin out to a playing field daily and just give her room to run!! She had more fun running on the dirt road at the farm than she did looking at the animals. Hmmm, tomorrow looks good! I know just the place for baby and the dog -- a semi-contained soccer field.


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

hey ladies. no, i don't have a curriculum, it is child led which is the same as how they learn as babies and how i learn anything now: curiosity, asking people for information, research with library and online, trial and error and learning from consequences. it is really hard for me and the folks. taiwanese pride themselves on education. basically i just can't talk to my parents about it. my mom just about made me crazy when damen was on his back and i was pg and tired and reed and clay fought all day. she could not understand why i would not take at least a "free" break by putting reed in school. me and dh did go to an open house awhile back and that only made us more convinced to homeschool, though i was tempted by having the community. my parents will probably get weirder when reed is closer to seven, which is the legal age, and just to let some of you ladies know, quite a magic number for a child from what i can see, as well as five.

my mom gives me a hard time about everything without saying a word, and i just try to pretend i'm not getting the signal since the disapproval is useless to me. maybe it's easier knowing i can't please her. she still gets upset about my sagging belly. it's not even her own body!

my inlaws i think have given up on saying anything to us. they are good people though insane like any family and ironically my mil started teaching in public school this spring. she teaches middle school math and she told me one class where she spent the entire period working to get her class to admit that the radius is half of the diameter. scary.

curriculum is really for the parents and in some places for the state to feel you are doing okay. i'm still drawn towards the school supplies in the fall. i know many ladies that mix curriculums and do what works for the child. unschooling i find magical. it means his thinking is quite original, and it is fascinating to be part of. i'm also of the mind that learning to cook a decent meal or speak for yourself or be savvy with money is more important than calculus or classics.

the other big thing i never expected is that he has an intense relationship with not only me and dh, but with his siblings, that he would not have if he were in school. he and ruby are peas in a pod. they totally understand each other, and it is a marvelous thing, their being together.

i did not know i would be homeschooling or unschooling until recently and i'm still not solid when strangers ask me where he goes to school. i will also go one and say that most the schools here are just storage facilities, and that the standard of parenting or lifestyle is pretty low here. and there is a big christian homeschooling community here, though i'm in a non religious based group. it's the deep south. people selfishly do whatever they want here, and it is okay for what i want for now. it's just how it happenned. if we had stayed in mpls, i find it hard to think i would be doing things this way. maybe i'm more rebellious because of where i live.

if reed wants to try school later on, he can. he helped make the choice when we talked about it when he was four. we didn't paint the prettiest picture though we really said very little. we told him that he would be there all day everyday and could only eat when they said he could for breakfast and lunch, and that he could run for twenty minutes after lunch and at pe once a week. and that he would have to wake up early no matter what, and go to the bathroom only once or twice with permission, and could not have cold water with him, and would have to nap or stay quiet during that time. i can't get over these simple physical issues! he can barely sit still or stay quiet ever and hasn't napped since turning two. he asked what he would learn, and this we did ask at the open house of the gifted school: they expected the finishing kindergarteners to recognize their letters and count to 100. so he went ahead and learned those things that week.

the homeschool group is a big deal for me it is a social connection. i would not homeschool isolated. ideally, everyone i know would live on my street and the street behind and our kids would run open amongst the yards and learn everything from everybody.

one more thing. most educators agree that kids are getting maybe three hours a day of actual learning at school. something to chew on if you are already staying home. also, boys benefit from being held back a year or so, though i didn't feel i would have had this option since reed is such a talker and big (an inch away from four feet tall.....i think i was this height at nine. no wonder my mom is so impatient with him)

aack! sorry i wrote so much, though i don't have the heart to delete now...


----------



## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

casina~I loved your detailed account of unschooling. Do you speak another language (is taiwanese a language? Sorry for my ignorance) Or is is cantonese or manderine that your parents speak? Do you speak it to your kids too? I ask because my partner is french-canadian, and I would love if my DD learned some french. I wonder if it's hard for kids to learn another language if they are not exposed to it every day.


----------



## *solsticemama* (Feb 8, 2003)

Language--up to nine months babies make the sounds found in every single world dialect, the clicking, the dipthongs and so forth. By the time they're 9 mos their ears start to take shape around the familiar language spoken around them and they start to create a paradigm for it, that is, their tongues begin to literally shape themselves around those sounds. Again I am struck by the physicality of language.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Casina*
they expected the finishing kindergartners to recognize their letters and count to 100

There is something very disheartening about this, the discrepancy between where children are emotionally/psychically/intellectually and what is expected of them by their culture.


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

my parents were pretty serious about us learning taiwanese. i'm the eldest of three. they only spoke that to me, and i learned english from sesame street, my mom's soaps and eventually school. my use of it now is rickety, though when i went to taiwan in january it was better than it had been in over ten years, i think because i am listening much better with kids. though most chinese type cultures are highcontext which means what you say does not necessarily mean the same. it has taken me years to figure this out with marriage to my very literal dh.

no, i don't speak much of it with my children though they know the words for different poo poo jokes. by the time we left taiwan in three weeks reed could understand more of what was going on, and the question he asked that still amazes me was "why aren't you speaking as much taiwanese anymore?" when in fact i was speaking less english. definitely the more exposure the better, the earlier the better. you don't have to worry about them learning more than one language at a time, somehow people figure that out.

i think there is something about immersion in a language that is natural, kind of like nursing for me. sometimes of something doesn't feel as right and i'm not fluent enough to speak it all the time (a murky issue where my parents pressured me too far and also refused to teach us chinese due to political reasons though we were just hurt that they used it as a secret language), and i've never really been big on talking to my kids, like my dh and some of my friends. it tends to get in the way for me.

hope, that was a standard that this "gifted" school was using that i know they can attempt to enforce but the learning is not the same. for example most of the several unschooling boys i know up to eight are not reading nor hardly writing and want to but it just hasn't clicked and they lack the fine motor skill, while the girls are at a totally different pace. i'm really struck by the difference of sexes these days.


----------



## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

ack! I missed the part about us starting a new thread (now that the email notifications actually have the message in it, I don't click on every one--but eventually you stop getting notified! :LOL). Whoops!

Jacob goes to school. He loves it. I will homeschool him in a heartbeat if school ever becomes a source of angst for him. Right now, though, he looks forward to every day. He actually was just enrolled in the gifted program a few weeks ago.

I was one that LOVED school. I was involved in EVERYTHING--had tons of friends--never wanted to miss a day, so I don't want to pull him out if he's loving it. I have no issues with the school, which makes it so much easier to send him there.

I have several homeschooling friends online. The range from unschoolers to rigid homeschoolers. I would probably fall somewhere in the middle. I like to have a plan, but wouldn't ever worry if we didn't get to doing "school" some days because we were busy. I would have to keep my records well or I would worry about things.


----------



## Max's Mami (May 25, 2003)

Not really sure if this is an update post or just about school but I am just going to update!

Maxi is becoming more and more his Papi! He has a crazy sense of humor and a HUGE vocabulary now. He is even putting two words together.

He is crazy over animals and loves to make the animals sounds of the different animals on his cloth diapers.

He is in preschool now (since mon.) but more out of necessity for day care than because I want him in school. He is doing VERY well there and learning a ton already, even after on 3 days. He is already attached to some of the other toddlers and when we pull up in front of the school he points and asks "Friends?"

So that is about it for us for now!


----------



## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

I am still waiting to hear about pre-school for Christopher. The last time I talked to the director, he was still on the waiting list, but there were two opening for boys in his class and he is number 2 on the list. The director told me once they hired another teacher, they would release those spots. The waiting drives me nuts. I think I will call them tomorrow and see if I can get an update.


----------



## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

hello. i havnt been on mothering for a while, its nice to see that you are all still chatting. thanks for the unschooling info casina.
i have had such a stressful morning. my ds climbed up onto my sewing desk fell off taking the machine down with him smashed his head onto the cement floor, bumped his nose and the 50lb machine landed on top of him just missing his head. there was blood all over ( from his nose) i took him to emergency, just to make sure he was okay and he seems to be okay, but gosh. it was so scary. i guess all moms have times when their kids get hurt and it just makes you never want to let go of them again. i hope that you all had a better morning than we did! take care,

fern and elwynn


----------



## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

Mama Fern, so nice to see you here! I'm so sorry about your morning. I would have been very scared. I'm glad that Elwynn is okay now. Poor Little Guy.

Casina, thanks for all the unschooling info. We are going to a meeting this Sat. that is all about Homeschooling Basics. I'm excited to learn more, and to meet some mamas and kiddos too.

Mariah has said her first sentences - "It's Stuck" and "It's a rock"









This has been a busy week for us and right now i've got to get some dinner going so I will post more soon.


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

oh, ouch! now that you mention it i'm surprised that has never happenned to me. take it easy on yourself and rest up. those weird milestones are really tough in the midst of your baby being hurt, and it takes time to use the fear constructively. before i had kids i had a friends tell me that it was the worst part of mothering, that a hurt child could make you feel so vulnerable. but i know those are the some of times that have strengthened me the most as a person. it does remind you of the preciousness and sweetness of life.

i'm glad there is school that works for some of you. i'm so used to having so much control over reed now, that it would be a tough decision if there were a school for him.
i'm starting to hate the weather here again.


----------



## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

mamafern! Sounds like something Owen would do--he's a climber! We were out in the backyard playing today and he was trying to climb up the slide on Jacob's wooden playset (ya know...the ones that have the tower and stuff...) and he made it all the way up!







Now I have one more thing to worry about! There's 3 "exits" off that tower--the slide (which isn't a huge deal) and 2 others that he'd fall straight to the ground out of--it's about 5 feet off the ground! Ugh!

We are getting a fence installed in about 2 weeks. I'm so excited--very very happy about it. We have a busy road behind us and it scared the carp out of me that he could get out there. I was thinking this summer would bite because I really couldn't do much in the yard w/Owen--I'd be too worried he'd escape somehow. Now we'll have the fence and *most* of my worries will go away.


----------



## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Hi ladies, I've missed you all! (Glad you joined us again, Max'sMami!!! Can't wait for Max and Zach to play on Sunday!)

We've been dealing with chicken pox and a nasty sore throat virus in our house. Everyone's tired and irritable. Zach is nursing constantly it seems, but I know he doesn't feel good so I'm giving in...

We're in the midst of a "gentle weaning" process right now, which has been tweeked due to our illness... I'm trying to distract him when he wants to nurse out of boredom. I'll offer him a drink of water, a snack, a toy (phones seem to work







), or tickle him or something. 80% of the time my distraction will work, but when he's dead-set on nursing, there's no stopping him! He has recently started referring to it/them as "bobby", and he likes to switch back and forth a lot for some reason (probably not making as much milk?). I know he won't be weaned completely for a LOOOONG time, but I'm trying to get him to comfort himself in other ways.

DH and I are going to a Heart concert in August and I'm afraid DS will scream his head off for my bro and SIL... He has only ever been left with his daddy at nighttime, and he only does so-so with him. He can fall asleep by just being rocked, and he'll stay asleep for a few hours, but man-oh-man when he wakes up and can't have the boob for comfort to get back to sleep it's a nightmare! (Or so I've heard, LOL) I'm crossing my fingers that he'll be ok for them so we can enjoy a night out. You'd think by 20 months he'd be fine to be left for the night, but he's still so much of a baby... Nursing constantly and barely 20 pounds... It has it's good and it's bad points, I guess!


----------



## **guest** (Jun 25, 2004)

Ah ha!...Chicken Pox! Even though my ds was vaxed, I just noticed (yesterday) that he has a spot on his cheek and his hand. It looked peculiar to me...and I couldn't quite place it but now I realize it looks a LOT like cpox! Can they catch a mild case of it even if they've been vaxed?
I know that I, personally, went against the 'textbook' and I got cpox TWICE. Once as a child and then again at about 28.

Question for you all. My ds knows his alphabet. Not just the song, he REALLY knows it! He can recognize letters AND he knows what sound it makes. On Sunday, He surprised the heck out of me by _sounding out_ the word Dog. I've been trying to teach him to put his phonics to work but I really didn't think he would understand for quite some time! I've worked with children for most of my adult life but I've NEVER seen a child that even really knows his alphabet at this age.
Anyone elses child know their alphabet with sounds?
I just don't know how normal this is. rofl. Oh, he knew his alphabet completely by 16 months old (he's almost 17m now).

peace,
Liz


----------



## *solsticemama* (Feb 8, 2003)

Leah, "bobby" that's pretty cute. Ds calls it bouf and also likes to play switcheroo. He'll nurse for a bit on one side and then look up at me and say 'oh side?' Sometimes he'll do this 2 or 3 times in a row, I think just because he can YK.

All this talk about school. I have to admit I'm sitting here thinking








...school? homeschool? unschool? is a long way away from my moment to moment of diapering, nursing, slinging and toddling with etc. My day is full to overflowing with just staying present with these wonders. School in whatever form or unform is a distant galaxy.

I bought ds a sling the other day. He's toted "Bear" around every now and again looking so pleased with himself. Adorable


----------



## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

*solsticemama*~It seems like you have the "Be here Now" think down pat. Not me... I'm thinking ahead.

lizc~My daughter can wipe her own bum after she uses the potty, I can just sit in the other room and watch T.V. *And* she can say the alphabet backwards, _in french_.... I'm pretty proud, might I add.


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

mamajaza, that's cos you're pg. though you're in a really good month, and i would encourage you to enjoy your family as three.....get a massage, put a mendhi on that belly, and plan a cast at the most.....


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

solsticemama, why are you so cool? were you well parented? are you a thousand years old?

love, casina


----------



## Mona (May 22, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *casina*
solsticemama, why are you so cool? were you well parented? are you a thousand years old?

love, casina


:LOL I agree casina.









wow, the alphabet.... dd doesn't even know what the alphabet is.









we had an interesting day yesterday.... i had to go to a special all day meeting for my job, which happens once a year. last year i went to two hours of it. this year i decided to try the whole day, with visits during breaks for nursing opportunities. well, when she came to visit, she wouldn't nurse.







i couldn't believe it! i was so full, and i know she was hungry. but she wanted to play. and she was not in "her" space, and i she "knew" that things were not as they "should" be, yk? i was so bummed- for myself, as i was practically engorging, bc i needed the nursing chemicals emotionally, and and bc i knew that once they were gone, she would want nummers.
dh and dd did pretty well, which i was so grateful for. no major long crying episodes, except for the trip home after their last visit to me.









i on the other hand, had to hand express some milk in the bathroom onto the floor, just so i didn't get painfully engorged. that sucked.

well, i have to run. jsut wanted to check in.

oh, on the homeschooling thing... i feel similar to rose. the ideas cross my mind, but at this point i try to let them just roll off and move to something more present.








to all


----------



## **guest** (Jun 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **Mamajaza*
My daughter can wipe her own bum after she uses the potty, I can just sit in the other room and watch T.V. *And* she can say the alphabet backwards, _in french_.... I'm pretty proud, might I add.

Er, Mamajaza, I wasn't trying to brag, I was trying to explain it completely and wanted to find out if it was normal around this age.

Liz


----------



## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

lizc, i think she was just being silly! i thought that my son was smart, but the alphabet? he sounds out words and says things like A dog and A ball, and lately brings me my shoes and his and says "shoes..boots.." cause he knows we always put them on before we go outside and thats his favorite place. he started to say yes and baby and bed and he is signing a lot more for things like drink and bed and change, but he sure doesnt know his letters yet. you have one smart kiddo.

we are having a much better day today-so far. elwynn is still sleeping, he doesnt climb in his sleep, thank goodness!







: we are going camping for a week starting on sunday. im pretty excited. the last camping trip we went on elwynn was only about 8 months i think. i know that he will have a great time, he loves being outdoors. i made him his own little sleeping bag from a wool sweater that has a zipper down the middle. i cut off the arms and sewed up the sides and left little arm holes and sewed the bottom of another sweater onto the bottom for more length. its got a hood and he looks so cozy in it. usually i just share my blankets but he always kicks them off and i dont want him to freeze. im excited to see how my efforts work out.

thanks for all of your mamma love.

fern and elwynn


----------



## kerc (May 9, 2002)

: mamas.

ummm on the wiping her own bum thing. erin now HAS to have a wipe and give it her best shot. Whatever. we let her try it.

she's learning new words a mile a minute. it is so darn fun. it was like she didn't say anything and then wham - an explosion of vocabulary. Like somehow she got one or two noises right and now is better at fine-tuning what she is saying.

brayg -- your boys are cute. I saw emm on the amity sewing forum and almost posted there.

mona -- sounds like your work day was frustrating. hopefully today is better for you.

leah -- is the chicken pox on its way out? and I don't think I'd worry about august yet...he'll be a whole nother kiddo by then kwim?

solsticemama -- I am trying to live more in the present too. The future is just too scary for me. Don't get me wrong, I do a little planning and whatif-ing but i can't see beyond this month.

and finally -- let's talk sandboxes. do you have em? did you build it? do you have the turtle little tykes one? give me some pros and cons for them. DD is constantly digging in the garden and playing in the rocks under the deck. I'm thinking she'll love a sandbox.


----------



## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lizc*
Ah ha!...Chicken Pox! Even though my ds was vaxed, I just noticed (yesterday) that he has a spot on his cheek and his hand. It looked peculiar to me...and I couldn't quite place it but now I realize it looks a LOT like cpox! Can they catch a mild case of it even if they've been vaxed?
I know that I, personally, went against the 'textbook' and I got cpox TWICE. Once as a child and then again at about 28.

Question for you all. My ds knows his alphabet. Not just the song, he REALLY knows it! He can recognize letters AND he knows what sound it makes. On Sunday, He surprised the heck out of me by _sounding out_ the word Dog. I've been trying to teach him to put his phonics to work but I really didn't think he would understand for quite some time! I've worked with children for most of my adult life but I've NEVER seen a child that even really knows his alphabet at this age.
Anyone elses child know their alphabet with sounds?
I just don't know how normal this is. rofl. Oh, he knew his alphabet completely by 16 months old (he's almost 17m now).

peace,
Liz

My understanding is that the vaccine is the equivalent of a very mild case of chicken pox; in other words, some people will be protected, but some people won't be able to develop enough antibodies from it. I had a decent case of the chicken pox when I was three years old, and my mother bathed my brother and I together and put us in the same bed so he'd catch them too, but he never did. :LOL He didn't get them until I was 10 (he was 9) and there was a *huge* epidemic all up and down the east coast, as I recall. Both of my sisters and my brother got it, every kid in school who hadn't had it got it.. there was one day when me and one boy were the only kids to show up. It was a school of fewer than 40 kids, and only 5 of us (pre-k through 5th grade) had already had the chicken pox, so the epidemic really killed attendance for a while. :LOL

Eli recognizes all of his letters and numbers too







. We, however, are freaks. Not every kid who knows the alphabet that young is a freak, but some of us definately are. It's all good







Kids learn at different speeds. Nothing to worry about, just take it all in stride.


----------



## *solsticemama* (Feb 8, 2003)

Casina, I might ask the same of you.

Actually each of you mamas has generously shared her unique wisdom at one time or another on this thread. In a culture that doesn't place much visible emphasis on the magnitude of our job, it's helpful and nourishing to share the day in and day out of our lives here.

MamaFern glad to hear your little one is sound and whole despite his fall. That little sleeping bag sounds great.

Eilonwy when we don't hear from you in awhile I start to wonder...labor? *Mamajaza* you sound in fine feisty form, that'll be helpful for the birth.

Lisa, a seasoned mama gave me a good tip for when I had to let my milk leak. I was letting it drip onto the concrete and she said, 'oh, don't waste it, let it drip onto the earth.' I liked that. But I realize it's not always practical.


----------



## Mona (May 22, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **solsticemama**
Lisa, a seasoned mama gave me a good tip for when I had to let my milk leak. I was letting it drip onto the concrete and she said, 'oh, don't waste it, let it drip onto the earth.' I liked that. But I realize it's not always practical.

Yes, that is indeed wonderful advice. it was the first time i had to waste my bm. i have drank it myself before rather then pour it down the drain.
My meeting was at a retirement center, so the image of me being out on the patio rubbing my breasts gave me a laugh.


----------



## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kerc*
and finally -- let's talk sandboxes. do you have em? did you build it? do you have the turtle little tykes one? give me some pros and cons for them. DD is constantly digging in the garden and playing in the rocks under the deck. I'm thinking she'll love a sandbox.

FIL bought one of the turtles for Eli and set it up on their deck. He absolutely loves it, MIL will sit on the swing and Eli will play in and around the sandbox. It's a great thing, and if we had money and a backyard that was fenced in, I'd totally want to get one!


----------



## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **solsticemama**
Eilonwy when we don't hear from you in awhile I start to wonder...labor? *Mamajaza* you sound in fine feisty form, that'll be helpful for the birth.

:LOL Sorry, it's just uncomfortable for me to sit for any length of time. :LOL Seriously, though, I'm trying to enjoy my last few weeks alone with EliBean. It's difficult, because I'm so short tempered and mean lately (







) but I try to get in a few hours of hugs and kisses and zerberts and giggles with him because he's going to be a big brother soon and I want him to have some small memory of time alone with Mamma for love-loves. Plus, I feel guilty that I can't take him outside; the weather is fabulous, but our backyard is open on both ends so I have to chase him and that just isn't happening right now. So I try to make up for it by playing with him inside when he's awake. Don't worry, I'll let you guys know when it finally happens. I'm thinking we've got at least two or three weeks, I don't feel remotely close to delivery although I *am* tired of being pregnant and eager to meet my daughter. At this point, though, I'd rather endure the miseries than have another NICU baby.


----------



## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

Either you gals have been busy posting or I'm slacking (I think it's the latter, to be honest! :LOL).

Wow! The alphabet--that's amazing! Owen knows the "tune" (or is that Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star?







) and moves his body to the music. He also knows the actions for The Itsy Bitsy Spider--pretty cute. He claps even before we're done because that's his favorite part!









Thanks Kristen--I think they're cute too! I've been visiting the sewing forum over at Amity's a lot lately--I have a lot to learn. Haven't really sewn much since high school. I need to get an instructional video or something--do they have such a thing? Or maybe I could pay you to take a road trip down here and teach me!














Now that I own a serger, I'm itching to make something--I have a TON of great fabric ('specially some great PRR) and I'm just not figuring out what to make. Kids' clothing is so cheap to buy at thrift shops and garage sales--seems silly to spend so much time on that. Guess I'll just keep making diapers--I'm pretty good at it so far and that was just turning and topstitching and using aplix. Now that I have a serger and I also have a snap press on its way--watch out world! :LOL








to all you with sickies or chicken pox. I hope Owen catches 'em while he's still young so we have them done and over with! Jacob got them when he was a year old, so we never had to "worry" about it.

sandboxes...we built Jacob that tower playset a few years back and there is a small sandbox underneath the tower. Owen can just use that one. I did think about getting one of those easy store sand/water tables but they are $50! Yikes! I'd love to have something like that on the deck.

So yesterday we were playing in the backyard and Owen was trying to walk UP the slide and he made it all the way. *sigh* When he gets to the top, he's in the tower, which is about 5 feet off the ground. There are 3 "exits" off the tower--2 open and one to the slide. If he fell, it wouldn't be good. Now I have to worry about that. Grrr! My little climber!


----------



## **guest** (Jun 25, 2004)

HI Rynna- Ok, I feel a bit better now that I know other kids know their alphabet. Oh, I'd LOVE to be able to take the credit for teaching it to ds...I had the alphabet on his wall and have been pointing to letters while saying them, etc but it wasn't until he started playing with FRIDGE PHONICS by Leap Frog did he actually start knowing what each letter sounds like. Normally, I can't stand toys that talk, make noise, etc but I have to say I'm really happy with Fridge Phonics. It WILL drive all the adults batty though. Repitition til your ears bleed. lol.

Peace,
Liz


----------



## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

Yes, I am feeling ready for labour (bring it on). Casina, thanks for the suggestion to get a massage, I just made an appointment. OOooo, can't wait.

My baby still calls pigs dogs, and horses are dogs too, so I don't know if she could determine an M from an N. I don't have any instructional videos or the alphabet pasted on the wall. I might have sung the alphabet to her twice (?) I do have a cousin who has a little girl that's just over 2 and she coaches her on all sorts of things. I've never actually seen it, but apparently she can say the alphabet backwards (I don't think *I* can even do that, but I've never practiced, either) and in spanish. I wonder if that really accomlishes anything, though? I would love to say my daughter is sooo advanced for her age, but I don't have the time or energy to put into that. (refering to my cousin, not you, lizc)


----------



## kerc (May 9, 2002)

sewing...whew. a serger! i have a cheapie machine that does me fine, but i lust for a serger. on the cost of sewing clothes -- it might be different for boys, but I get satisfaction out of sewing clothes that are little girl clothes (not frilly, but just not looking like some tiny hoochie, KWIM?) . I find that sewing cute outfits up gives me stress relief. I went garage saleing this morning to look for clothes and toys for e. I am reminded how much time one has to spend to find a "good deal." At this point in my life I am unwilling to spend a lot of my precious time doing something I don't really get satisfaction out of.

and a final sewing note -- anyone sewing kids clothes -- I recommend the kwik sew books: KS for Toddlers, or KS for Kids. They are fantastic and give great instructions about how to do things. Enough sewing, pm me if you want to chat about it further.

So I think I'm going to buy a turtle to put on the deck. There's a strong possibility we will move next year and that way we can take it with us. Also we have a baby gate on the deck steps so it is better than a fenced yard (close enough to the house I can run in for drinks and such).

no alphabet at all here. I'm not worried. cool that your little ones can do it. Happy end of pregnancy vibes...


----------



## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

Rynna~I know what you mean about sitting for too long (OUCH) My tailbone seems to have taken the brunt of all my MDC moments.


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

i've been sewing lately too. i'm ready to make some money making crazy stuff.
i'm feeling the baby fever. or rather, the pregnant fever. i always remember feeling powerful when pregnant, and just the word pregnant sums up especially the last month of waiting, where life almost stands still like you are at the top of a roller coaster.


----------



## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

Hello mama (talking to myself) I didn't think about the fact that I have to post again on this new thread in order to get my email alerts! I have been thinking everyone is really quiet, and here I had over 2 pages to read.LOL

Quick post, b/c it is way past my bedtime!

Alphabet-- Scarlett is getting into letters, b/c Revina has magnetic letters on the fridge and they like to play with them. She also likes several alphabet books we have. She calls most letters A or E, but she can recognize some if I ask her to point to them.

Talking-- She is saying 2 word sentences now also. And says about a handful of new words everyday.

School-- When we move to Tucson the girls will hopefully







: be attending a Montessori School. This is out of necessity as I will have school and part time work. I didn't want them in a plain old daycare. (I've worked at those and it was horrible) Plus the gov't will help me pay for their care at the Montessori! I am working in a public school now and don't ever want my girls to go to one.

Tomorrow, as long as it doesn't rain, we will be attending an Earth Day gathering at Memorial Park. Why the celebration is a month late I don't know, but it should be fun. Music etc...

Maybe someone has some insight...
For about the past week Scarlett has had poops that are not normal for her. very runny and occuring several times a day. Sometimes it happens right after she eats other times she will eat and nothing. no fever, still up and playing and wanting to eat. I am going to start a food journal to see if i can find a correlation. She isn't teething and even when she was this didn't happen. Her poor red bum







Any ideas as to what's going on?


----------



## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

acidic foods make my DD's bum all red. Things like tomatoes, oranges, and other strong fruits. There is something I've heard about milk giving kids diarrea if they are allergic to it. HTH~


----------



## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *casina*
i've been sewing lately too. i'm ready to make some money making crazy stuff.
i'm feeling the baby fever. or rather, the pregnant fever. i always remember feeling powerful when pregnant, and just the word pregnant sums up especially the last month of waiting, where life almost stands still like you are at the top of a roller coaster.

I would also like to sew and sell. I'm working on diapers right now--I bought the Cuddlebuns pattern (although I've sewn a few from a different diaper pattern) to see if I'd like to be a CuddleWAHM or if I would just rather make my own pattern and sell on my own (with no cottage license and fees).

I have baby fever soooo bad. I was so bummed to find out a couple weeks ago that I wasn't pg, when I really though I was. I'm so ready that I have a full stash of newborn dipes and everything! :LOL


----------



## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

lilmiss'mama: you should join our msn group when you move to Tucson. We have a small number of AP mamas in the valley, and 3 in Tucson, so it'd be great to finally meet you someday!!! http://www.groups.msn.com/AZAPMamas is the address. There's also a yahoo group (most are from Mothering) called azmamas, I don't know the address off the top of my head, though... They do preschool co-ops, have weekly get-togethers, etc.

Whew! ALPHABET! That is awesome! Zach certainly doesn't have the understanding of letters/sounds, etc. We have a Leap Frog drum that goes through the alphabet/numbers, and when we sing the tune Zach says "E" for every letter- "E, E, E, E, E, E, E" :LOL BUT, I have to brag that he can say and point to his nose, mouth, eyes, feet, toes, hands, pee pee, and butt, hee hee! He still points to his teeth when I ask him where his ears are, but we're working on it!

He is starting to put two-word phrases together, but the pronunciation sucks. (Like "da bobby"= the booby) If I give him something, he'll say "Day dow" (thank you) and if I say thank you he'll say "you whe" (you're welcome). He tries to copy everything I say, and the syllables are correct but the actual pronunciation of the consenants and vowels are wrong. I don't care, I think it is absolutely adorable when I say "Do you want some cereal?" and he says "Siddi-aw?", in the same tone as me.







He's really trying, and he's having fun doing it. Which is more than I can say for poor Julianna... She still doesn't say even ONE WORD...

Solsticemama- I think in mothering your DS you are "schooling" every day. So whether you have thought about it or not, you have already started the process of homeschooling/ unschooling.









Gotta go take care of my sick DH... (He has a sore throat.) Men are such BIG babies when they're sick! Funny how when I had this virus last week I still managed to get up at the crack of dawn to get Crystal ready for school every day, nurse Zach (and pass to him the antibodies







), make dinner, wash and fold diapers as well as the rest of the laundry... Not that I'm bragging really (a little bitter, maybe), it's just that us women are really the "MEN" when we're sick, and the 'dying' DH's laying around whining on the couches are such "girls" :LOL


----------



## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

lilmiss'mama- For some reason, that link is not working... But that is the address, so you can just paste it in your address bar, or PM me with your e-mail address and I'll send you and invitation to the group


----------



## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lilmiss'mama*
For about the past week Scarlett has had poops that are not normal for her. very runny and occuring several times a day. Sometimes it happens right after she eats other times she will eat and nothing. no fever, still up and playing and wanting to eat. I am going to start a food journal to see if i can find a correlation. She isn't teething and even when she was this didn't happen. Her poor red bum







Any ideas as to what's going on?


:LOL Maybe you're pregnant. :LOL Seriously, though, Eli's poops have been like this since he started getting colostrum.. the poop that's everywhere and driving me crazy, remember? It's super drippy. Ick. Scarlett might have a random itsavirus, though.. they happen.









A complete stash of newborn diapers? :LOL I don't have one yet! :LOL I really need to get a few more covers before NewBean arrives, or we're going to be doing laundry twice a day.







As it is, we've got about a day and a half worth of newborn diapers.. which means that if the kids take one nap together every day, and I can get some more covers, we'll be all right.


----------



## *solsticemama* (Feb 8, 2003)

I'm impressed with all you sewers. My mom smocked all my dresses when I was little. Works of art, really. Where did she (and ya'll) find the time? I enjoy textiles and have lots of ideas for clothing and slings but manifesting them is another reality. Ds is kind of hard to fit. He's 30 lbs, with a sweetly big belly and the cloth diaper bum figures into things as well so it would be nice to be able to make things that fit him properly.

Bought his first real pair of shoes yesterday. Size 6 and a half wide!!

We're off to Europe in a few weeks. A 10.5 hr overnight flight, 8 hr. time difference, arriving 2:30 a.m. our time...needless to say these details speak for themselves. We'll be gone for 3 weeks and I'm just realizing that I'll probably miss out on hearing when our 2 pregnant mamas go into labor and have their babies. Now that is just disappointing. I imagine I'll have some limited computer time so I hope to check in from time to time.

Lilmiss's mama I was just starting to wonder where you'd gone


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

oh yum, i want a vacation.
i had a very bad day today. i've been weepy all week, and i just had my period so it is not that. i know i'm just overwhelmed and fighting depression. if i disappear for awhile, it will be to detox and get my head straight. though i don't want to. i'm actually enjoying mdc these days.

i just got some training pants/thick underwear and actual panties for ruby. we'll see if she likes them. right now i'm willing to try whatever anything concerning toileting (as if i don't do whatever she wants anyway?) since she has been holding her pootenanny here and there. she still goes almost every day. but i know things aren't the way she wants, and she doesn't like neither potty nor adapting seat not naked toilet nor toilet with me sitting behind her. i've already instructed dh not to do any encouragement, just respond and make no fuss or judgments or faces whatsoever. he's actually big on the toileting. if i had known that long ago, i would have ec'ed to begin with. iguess at this point he knows that the ick factor is not under his control. poop is part of parenting.


----------



## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

solsticemama~~wow, enjoy your vacation! I've never been to europe. You'll have to tell us all about it. And don't worry about missing out on my birth... I was overdue with DD, and I still have 6 weeks till this due date. I'm expecting to be overdue this time as well.

Haeven has this little baby-bjorn type potty (as in one peice, low to the ground) And I leave it in the living room. She likes to put it on her head, sit on it, put her "babies" in it, etcetera. She's definately getting used to it. The other day after her bath, I thought she was pooping, so I put her on there, and she farted a few times. Yeah!!!! We're getting close. She hasn't pooped in it yet, but has peed in it a few times.


----------



## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

Scarlett has wanted to sit on the potty too lately. Nothing has come of it yet, but we'll see!


----------



## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

I've only got a minute, but wanted to pop in and say hi everyone!

Solstice Mama - a vacation sounds lovely and I've always wanted to see Europe, lucky you! Best of luck, I don't envy the plane ride and time change stuff, but I'm sure it will work out fine.

Casina -







I'm sorry you had such a bad day. i hope today is better.

Mariah isn't showing much interest in potty training. She tells us when she is wet sometimes, but that is about all. I'm thinking to get a little potty just for her to get familiar with it but I'm not going to push the issue.

I'm amazed at all the kiddos who know their abc's.... wow!


----------



## *solsticemama* (Feb 8, 2003)

See, now when the words "18 mo, 10.5 hr plane ride and 2:30 am arrival time occur in the same sentence, "vacation" is not the first thing that leaps to mind :LOL It's basically dh's gig tho I do have some family and friends over there. I agreed to travel with him way back when ds was 6 mo.







What was I thinking? I'll tell you what I was thinking, 'oh well, ds'll be 18 mos, he'll be walking, sleeping thru the night, mostly on solids...driving a car!!! You get the picture. Honestly I didn't have a clue how much of a baby he'd still be. Which I love btw I just didn't factor it into our plans. Yes, this is a vacation from our regular routine and the sometimes very prosaic nature of our days but I'll be working alot harder to maintain a sense of inner and outer rhythm and keep the family mandala circling nicely. On a more positive note I do think it's important for ds to visit extended members of his tribe in our very un-tribal culture and of course mixing it up a bit is always fruitful...


----------



## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

solsticemama~Where are you going in europe?


----------



## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Solsticemama, my SIL tells me it's easier to take a vacataion when the kids are younger. They're more apt to chill in the sling while you visit with family/friends and see the sights. I'm sure it's a lot harder chasing after a 3 yr old... Hope this helps a little, LOL


----------



## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

I'm with you, solsticemamma... it doesn't sound like much of a vacation! Still, it sounds like a fun trip.









Eli really wants to poop on the potty, but he gets bored. He'll sit there and fart for a few minutes, but when he doesn't poop he gets up and runs off. :LOL He also pees really quickly and stands up right away. We brought his little potty to his grandparents house two weeks ago, and when he sat on the potty he got up so quickly that MIL was sure he hadn't gone at all until she looked in. :LOL He's always in a hurry! He does very well, but I have to remind him to "shake". :LOL


----------



## kerc (May 9, 2002)

vacationing ---> one thing that is cool about taking an 18 month old is that it will force you to slow down and really take in the culture of another country. Plus kids attract people and it is always really cool to sit in places like coffeehouses and chat with people actually FROM the country you are visiting.

just popping in to say hi mamas.


----------



## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

Wow--sounds like a lot of work Rose! I commend you for taking that leap! I have a hard time these days taking Owen anywhere, as he is very "busy" and "inquisitive" (read: A PITA! :LOL). Naw...it's awesome seeing the wonder and amazement in his eyes, but sometimes it's just exhausting telling him to get off the kitchen table for the 230th time in an hour and having him throw a fit when I help him. He managed to fall off the chair twice on Saturday morning. It was on dh's watch, too. He was being nice and let me sleep, but by the time I heard the second "thump" and "waaaaah", I was up--checking on them both. *sigh*

Anyone else sometimes feel if they want something done right, just do it yourself? I hate being like that. I'm such a perfectionist and sometimes rather inflexible that it stresses me out because I just take on everything that needs to be done instead of letting others help me. My dh is great--very helpful too.


----------



## *solsticemama* (Feb 8, 2003)

Ok, now I'm feeling kind of silly with everyone consoling me about *having* to go to Europe







I seem to occasionally fall under the mistaken impression that mothering is supposed to be easy and then there's the rest of the world's state to take into consideration. But thanks mamas for humoring me. MamaJ we'll be in England, Germany and possibly Brussels.

Brayg, how's it going with your dh's 60+ hrs. workweek?

Eilonwy, Eli sounds like quite a character


----------



## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

The busy season is pretty much over. Yay! Thanks for asking.







Although the money was really nice, I like to see my dh every day.


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

solsticemama, it will be fine as long as you take care of yourself. though there were some things that were hard for me (mostly my mom) when i traveled in january, the mothering aspect was the easiest. i just did what felt necessary and instinctual. for me the hardest in travel and general life is expectation and flexibility and control. so i have to let go of it.

thanks for the hug, punk. i've been holding onto feeling mad about everything, and it's just about over. i'll forgive everyone and decided being happy is better than being aggravated.

what does ddddc mean or pita?


----------



## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

DDDDC=Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap It's a fundraising thing for MDC. You pay $2.50 and can give someone a name.

PITA==Pain In The Ass


----------



## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

Solsticemama, I don't think you will miss my labor. I am not due until 9/3. I am ready to have this baby now though.

I am finally back after a long weekend. I spent 3 hours in the ER on Saturday due to a UTI. Yesterday we went back to the hospital because my husband had outpatient surgery. I am tired of the hospital now. I also think hospitals suck! DH's doctor's office sent us a booklet about surgery at the hospital. In the booklet it said that I would be able to accompany my DH during his pre-op. Anyways yesterday, they called his name to go on back and I got up with him. The nurse tells me, "Oh sweety, I am going to take him back to get prepped and then I will come out to get you." WTF?!?!?! It took 40 minutes to do his vitals, get him in a gown, and get his IV in. Anyways I am even more pissed because the Anesthesiologist came and talked to my husband while I was waiting during that 40 minutes to come back. I had some questions. I told DH I was pissed because he hadn't told the Anesthesiologist to wait for me. I get back there and just sit with him for another 40 minutes. Every time someone would come into the room they would totally ignore me and just address DH. Hello! I am his wife. I would like to know what is going on. Then they told me it was time for him to go. Can you believe they tried to roll him out before I could kiss him goodbye. The one gal was like "Oh, guess we have to stop for a second." I asked them when I would get an update and they told me the surgeon would come and find me in the waiting room once the surgery was done. Also I asked when I would see my husband after surgery and they told me I would have to wait an hour after his surgery before I could see him. The surgeon never came out. The surgeon called me on the freaking phone in the waiting room. I was thankful that my neighbor was watching Christopher during this ordeal but I had to leave right after DH's surgery was done so I could pick him up since my neighbor's daughter was sick. I got back to the hospital and I could finally go back to see him. They also let me bring Christopher back there as well. The nurses were much nicer to me in the PACU (post anesthesia care unit). They brought water for me and apple juice and graham crackers for Chris. Why couldn't everyone else at the hospital be nice and show some compassion to the family members? I was so glad to leave the hospital.


----------



## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

I've spent some time in hospitals, yuck. I know how it is. It's even worse here in canada right now because the hospital workers are constantly striking because they're not being paid well enough, and they're understaffed. It's like you are part of an assembly line, on a conveyor belt, going through the hospital's system. Not much person-to-person care.


----------



## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Heather, I'm so sorry you had to go through that! Sounds like a super-crappy hospital. When my mother went in for her quadruple bypass, I got to see her before she left for surgery (she'd been admitted the day before; they did the surgery in a hurry), two nurses came out to talk to me, and then the surgeon when it was all over. I also spoke with the Chaplain (I was very concerned about my niece who was four years old, very bright, and terrified of hospitals because my grandmother had gone in and never come home) while I was waiting. He was very nice, and very helpful and told me that if it looked like mom was taking a turn for the worse that he'd see to it that the ICU visiting restrictions were lifted so that my niece could see my mother in case, G-d forbid, she should die.

After she went to recover in the ICU, the waiting room volunteer took me back, asked me if I knew what to expect and such... everyone was very polite and helpful. It's just a totally different feeling from what you're describing; while I was very creeped out when I saw my mother, there were lots of kind, helpful people around.


----------



## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

Brayg -







yeah for you! I'm sure that will make ttc easier :LOL

Casina, I'm glad you are feeling better.

Heather, I'm so sorry for your sucky hospital experience. I would have been really







too.

Well after all of my "dd isn't ready for potty learning" talk earlier, she actually peed in the potty today. We bought her one, so she could play with it and be familiar and all that, and she immediately knew what to do. Ever since then she has been periodically refusing diapers. I love seeing her little naked booty running around the house







I'll bring her a diaper and she says "No!", pushes it away and then runs to sit on her potty :LOL

It's cute and all but I really don't know that _I_ am ready for this.


----------



## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Heather- I'm glad you're all feeling better now. Sometimes hospitals can be horrible places, and other times they can be great places of health and healing. Everyone has a different experience, it seems. Glad you're all home now, though.
The thing that gets me is when I hear of moms getting flack from doctors and nurses about weaning their toddlers when they're sick (either mom or baby). One story I read here on another board told about a mama in such pain from a burning case of swimmer's ear, that she actually broke down crying in her doctor's office and said she'd promise to wean if he would just give her some pain meds! He had refused to prescribe her something as long as she was breastfeeding her 19 mo. old, and he was actually nice to her after she broke down.







: Of course, she went home, took the meds and promptly nursed her toddler anyway (on the advice of her midwife), but it just goes to show how *dumb* and insensitive mainstream docs can be sometimes








When Zachary was in the hosp. for RSV, he basically nursed constantly, much to the surprise of the nurses and docs. It was the only reason he stayed hydrated enough to skip getting an IV. Everyone was VERY nice to us, though. Everyone's experiences are different, like I said. It just sucks when the people who are supposed to me the most compassionate and caring- our healthcare providers- can be the rudest, most inconsiderate people!









(As I was a nursing student before Zachary came along, I am sensitive to this subject, as you can tell!)


----------



## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

wow! think this is the longest time anyone has gone without saying anything on this thread in years! This thread has been going for years and suddenly everyone decided to stop talking.

so I thought I would chime in. So ever since Avas speech evaluation we have been really listen and trying to deciper. Holy cow. I must have been living on another planet. she talks in complete sentences. but only in snetences







"Yea! I did it" "Hi sisters" (they are like a singel being, the sisters that is :LOL "where is my daddy?" she still doesn't lable stiuff but whatever. She finally started making the B sound which is one of the things that concered them. she still isn't saying mama. what is up with that. but she started singing the "B-I-B-L-E" sone which is funny becdause she learned it from Lily and it comes out "B-I-E-I-O"







: thank about it.

anywho, that is all that is up with us. I should go though. i have an extra ababy to get to sleep and a garage sale that is apparently tomarrow. getting rid of the rest of my baby stuff







. so hard.


----------



## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

Just wanted to say Hi Lilyka. i was just thinking this morning that it had been awhile since we heard from you. Also wondering about Xmas Eve and Veganmama.....

That is really cool about Ava talking in senteces!


----------



## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

Lilyka if it is any consolation, Christopher hardly says Mama either. It is always Dada.


----------



## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

I got a letter from my friend once. she had a terrible delivery. her midwife did her best but the baby was in a akward position and she had to have 47 stitches in the end. apparenly nursing was less than smooth and she was juggling a less than secure relationship and pregnancyu and she lets loose with "At least she could say MAMA first!!!!! but noooooooooo" /:LOL


----------



## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

Lilyka-- according to the speech evaluation what counts as a word? If I am the only one who understands it does it count? Do they have to pronouce all the letters? ie. Scarlett says dink for drink would that count? Just curious!

Well Scarlett must have had a little virus. She had a 101.6 fever two days ago, but she seems better now.


----------



## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *punkprincessmama*
Brayg -







yeah for you! I'm sure that will make ttc easier :LOL










: You're right!


----------



## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

It was my understanding that it had to be pretty lear but not perfect. we count daddoodoo (thank you) and eeeaaahhh (her kicking karate sound:LOL) and nothing is understandable without her hand gestures and close attention. I think it just has to be in the right direction. My first would say the same sounds for specific words but they weren't even close. SHe had issues though. I would think if someone could understand it it counts. They should be calling me back soon. I will double check then.


----------



## kerc (May 9, 2002)

i have to believe lilyka, that if you are now getting more of what she's saying and repeating it in the correct form that she'll begin to correct herself and become clearer.

erin's been saying "bbboooob" for a long time. I thought she meant boob. Well two days ago I was wearing a t shirt that had a little picture of a boat on it and she pointed to the boat and said "bbbooob" and I said "boat" and she got closer and closer all day. Kind of embarassing to go out in public with your kiddo pointing to your boob and saying soemthing that sounds like boob. Anyhow, dh was out of town for all this and came back and she can now say boat regularly.

we've also been looking at books with lots of id pictures and asking her "what's this" and can you point to the "apple" or whatever it is. She has an IMMENSE vocabulary. I never knew. She is just beginning to learn to say all the words she actually knows. Anyhow. Sitting and practicing words has really helped both of us. Because she will now point ot a picture and say the word and I get what it sounds like from her. As in ele for elephant. If your kid just came up to you and said ele you'd be like what the heck did you just say? But since she showed me the picture I'm like oh, you want your elephant, well let's go find it.

blah blah blah. no wonder the champ has such a large vocabulary huh? mom and dad are always talking and putting words to everything going on.

I just got the spirited child workbook and am loving it. I don't like cheeseball examples, and the book is kind of full of them but I think they are demonstrative. And my spirited child has two spirited parents...the book is helping my sanity KWIM?


----------



## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Eli had his 18 month WCC yesterday, and he's back on the charts for weight!







32", 22 pounds 7 oz. Yay BeanBean! He's a growing man. I'm totally relieved, I was really starting to worry after I saw him on camera last week. He's definately growing, he's just mini!







It's all good.

The doctor we saw was a moron. She tried to tell me that measles and roseola were the same thing (um, nope! wrong answer!) and when she went to count his teeth she said "I see seven teeth." I said, he's got 12 and she said "Where are the rest?"







Did you try in his mouth?! Then she tried to make goggly noises at him to get him to open his mouth, and Eli had no idea what she was doing. He was just staring at her with a quizical look on his face, waiting for her to say something in English. I said "Eli, where is your tounge?" and he grinned, stuck out his tounge and put his finger on it so she could see the four molars.









She kept making giberish noises at Eli, and he had no idea what she was doing or why, he just looked at her like "are you nuts or something?!" I was really offended, and Eli was too. It was irritating.


----------



## *solsticemama* (Feb 8, 2003)

Too tired to say much more than hi, mamas.


----------



## Mona (May 22, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **solsticemama**
Too tired to say much more than hi, mamas.


that would be me too....
sigh...


----------



## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

I am done with work tomorrow!! Temporarily anyway. I will now have a few weeks to spend with the girls, get us packed and moved to Tucson. I'll have to look for work when we get there, but I am thankful for the next few weeks!







Scarlett said "grandma" today, so my mom was happy she got to hear it before we leave.


----------



## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

Christopher is not much bigger than Eli. He will be 19 months on June 1st. Currently he is 32 1/2 inches tall and 24 pounds 6 oz. He wears an 18 month shirt and 12 month pants. We have mini boys!









The doctor we saw yesterday is a moron too. I took Chris in for his ear recheck and she kept talking to him in baby talk. I felt like saying just talk to him normally! I think she could guess what is normal since she has a 16 year old son.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eilonwy*
Eli had his 18 month WCC yesterday, and he's back on the charts for weight!







32", 22 pounds 7 oz. Yay BeanBean! He's a growing man. I'm totally relieved, I was really starting to worry after I saw him on camera last week. He's definately growing, he's just mini!







It's all good.

The doctor we saw was a moron. She tried to tell me that measles and roseola were the same thing (um, nope! wrong answer!) and when she went to count his teeth she said "I see seven teeth." I said, he's got 12 and she said "Where are the rest?"







Did you try in his mouth?! Then she tried to make goggly noises at him to get him to open his mouth, and Eli had no idea what she was doing. He was just staring at her with a quizical look on his face, waiting for her to say something in English. I said "Eli, where is your tounge?" and he grinned, stuck out his tounge and put his finger on it so she could see the four molars.









She kept making giberish noises at Eli, and he had no idea what she was doing or why, he just looked at her like "are you nuts or something?!" I was really offended, and Eli was too. It was irritating.









:







:







:







:







:


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

hey ladies. i'm confused. ruby is asleep (any nap, even a 5 oclock nap, i take) and dh took the boys with him for two hours. i tried to mow the lawn. i'm overheated.


----------



## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

Not sure what to do with yourself? BTW casina I love your pictures. You have a beautiful family.


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

yay! i always love to hear that.
what's funny is that there is no sound. we are incessantly loud.


----------



## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

yeh, and those belly pics.... wow..... I don't have any pictures so close up. The mendhi is awesome.
I got a massage and chiro adjustment today.... awwwwh, that felt GOOD. Thanks for suggesting it, casina. I think I've found a new hobby.


----------



## Mona (May 22, 2003)

let's see if i can get thru this post successfully :LOL

dd is going through another major developmental jump, which means 1 nap a day instead of 2, horrible sleeping at night, major whining, and all out challenging of boundries. it has been fun.







she is napping now, and she slept a tad bit better last night, so maybe we are coming out of it? hmmmm

anyway, to catch up...

casina- i didn't know you were having a rough time, but glad that you are doing better







s

mamajaza- i went to a chiro every two weeks while preggers. it was great! i didn't get the message part tho- that must be heaven!!









hjohnson- dd wears 12 mo shirts and 18-2t pants (bc of the diaper butt). i have to say that it is nice that her clothes last longer then a season.









doctor visitors--







s i get very frustrated by the medical field. the last time dd saw a dr, at 8 ? mo for a possible ear infection, her dr rolled her eyes at me when i didn't want to get an iron check. we haven't been back.

speech- like others' said, i think a big part is in the listening. my housemate can hear dd's words better then i can, as i have a hearing loss in both ears. i can not discernt the words very well sometimes. but i am getting better at it. her new fav word is "birdies". i have always said just plain bird, so i don't know where the "ies" came from. :LOL

newest trick of the week- she has discovered puddles.







she loves to splash around in them, and yesterday she sat in the middle of a big yuchy one. after i got over the "ich" factor, i had a ball watching her, and wished i had my camera with me.









preggers moms--







s and







to you all! the last trimester was my favorite time, i think. i had so much joy in playing with my little one while she was inside of me. it was a special time.

egads, gotta go...


----------



## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mona*
dd is going through another major developmental jump, which means 1 nap a day instead of 2, horrible sleeping at night, major whining, and all out challenging of boundries. it has been fun.









Is there something in the air? This is exactly what our week has been like except Mariah has been skipping naps all together.

I am









My house is a disaster and my nerves are shot. Today I am doing nothing except mama - ing. I surrender. I surrender.


----------



## Mona (May 22, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *punkprincessmama*
Today I am doing nothing except mama - ing. I surrender. I surrender.











after trying to figure out "what is wrong" this is where i try to end up as well.
if you can't beat em, join em! going with the flow always seems to work much better.


----------



## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *punkprincessmama*
Is there something in the air? This is exactly what our week has been like except Mariah has been skipping naps all together.

I am









My house is a disaster and my nerves are shot. Today I am doing nothing except mama - ing. I surrender. I surrender.

There must be something in the air. As my DH puts it, Christopher has been a downright booger lately. Whining, crying, fighting naps, totally ignoring us, do what he wants whether we like it or not. I joke that he is 18 months going on 13! Hopefully it will get better soon.


----------



## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

Mona-- Scarlett does the same thing. I say juice she says "juicy".


----------



## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mona*
preggers moms--







s and







to you all! the last trimester was my favorite time, i think. i had so much joy in playing with my little one while she was inside of me. it was a special time.

When I was carrying Eli, I looked askance at anyone who said they enjoyed their third trimester. I thought that it was physically impossible (and for me, it was) :LOL. This time, I feel so much better by comparison that I'm really enjoying it. I'm still uncomfortable and miserable and I'd give my eye teeth to be able to see a chiropractor, but compared to the first time around, this is a breeze.









Eli is just barely in size 12 months pants and shirts, even with the giant cloth diapers. He's got *nothing* in the way of hips. His pelvis is smaller than his ribcage, it's totally freaky. He does have a little tiny bit of a tush (I call them "minibuns" and when he wants to be naked he says "Naked! Ninga ninga ninga, I want mini!" :LOL) but that's it. He's built like his daddy; I've got enough hips for three people and always have, even when I was skinny. Daddy is a fat man and still has no hips and no behind.




























:LOL In fact, Eli can still wear many of his 6-9 month sized pants, though I suspect they will be too short by the time autumn rolls around. That's okay, NewBean will probably be needing them.







It's a bit of a bummer to me that I don't have girl clothes everywhere, but she'll live.


----------



## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

Just wanted to say "hi" mamas. Everyone seems to be pretty busy lately, including us. Weather's getting nicer so we're spending a lot more time outside. Until it starts getting to hot and muggy or we get infested with mosquitoes, that is!


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

well, it happenned. this morning my mom showed up with equipment without discussion and sprayed for mosquitoes on the perimeters of my yard and we spent the entire day outside, with blowup pools, with absolutely no bites. i think this is the first time i have been outside with no bug bites since we moved here five years ago when reed was a baby. for now i'll rationalize that it's better than smearing deet on us, which doesn't work as well..... and this is the first day we have happily played outside at home at all in months, ninety degrees or not. so i'm feeling a little righteous and selfish to overcome my guilt about using poisons. i've used them before but mostly for the fire ants. i don't even know why i feel that bad about it, there's a truck that drives around town with a big nozzle of pesticide squirting out the back anyway.


----------



## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

elwynn and i just got back from a week of hard core camping. out in the woods.. lots of rain...im happy to be back in the warmth of a house, but i miss the forest already. he was such a little hiker. he didnt even want my help on the hard trails. now he is full on running every where. we went to the waldorf may fair today and it was lovely as always. just thought id say hi!


----------



## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

Fern, clean out your PM box!!!







Here is the message I was going to PM you... I didn't want to erase it.

hi fern, so you're back! my grama + pa D are in north vancouver right now. I didn't get to see them because I didn't want to drive there, but maybe you could see them. They are leaving at 1:00 though so depending on when you get this message... I think that they would love to see elwynn. Is Tim there too?

ttyl jaz


----------



## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

jaz, tim stayed up the mountain..he should come back today or tomorow some time. im not sure.. um... grandparents.. sure, where are they? im sure i could take him for a visit.


----------



## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

So...what do you all do when you want to have an adult life? I'm 99.999% comfortable w/my AP parenting ways, but now and then something comes up that makes me feel just a wee bit resentful (it's usually just a fleeting moment though--till I watch Owen nursing so peacefully







) that I haven't been out w/my dh without the kids in over a year and a half. Actually...we did get to go out on our anniversary for 1 1/2 hours--we went out to eat and then came back. :LOL

It's silly what's spawning these feelings though. Harry Potter 3 is coming out on Friday and dh and I want to take Jacob to it. We don't have a babysitter, other than my mother (she's watched Owen a few times--during the day and for only a couple hours at a time)and she works 6 days/week.

Owen still nurses in the morning, before his nap, usually another time late afternoon, and last thing before bed. He's never, ever gone to sleep one night in his life without nursing. Anyone else here deal w/that? And how do I? I know maybe we could go out after the kids go to bed, but I get tired early and don't know if I'd even make it! LOL! I just don't feel like dealing w/babysitters anyway. Should I just keep up this life I'm leading and maybe get my mom every now and again to come by for us? *sigh* I'm in a funk.


----------



## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

Could you pump? Would Owen take a bottle from your mom if it had your milk in it? I can understand wanting to have a night with your oldest; I bet he'd like it too! Babysitters are hard. Usually it is just my mom or sister watching the girls. Do you know of someone with small children you trust that could recommend someone?


----------



## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Jasanna, Rynna and Heather- do you have names picked out? I'm sure someone else asked this already, but I forgot if you told us what the names were?









casina- don't feel too badly about the mosquito repellent... I'm sure it's better than contracting West Nile Virus. We've had 3 horses in the valley contract it, and now 2 humans with confirmed cases. Scarey! Although as I was reading about it on the internet, it doesn't seem to be as bad as 'they' say. Most people just have flu-like symptoms and then it's done.

Zachary has been a real PITA lately, too. Tossing and turning and whining in his sleep, screaming during the day, crying, and nursing more often than usual. I try to pick him up when he wants to be held and let him nurse if he really seems to need it, but it just gets old when he gets so clingy. My SIL tells me this is the age when they get REALLY attached and clingy to mama. Great. I already thought he WAS clingy, now it's gonna get worse??? He's been really mean to my mom lately, too- she says "hi" and he hits the air in her direction with a bratty screech. I feel bad cause then my mom says "Why don't you love Grammy anymore?" But what can I do? I hate to say it, but it's true: my kid has become a real BRAT.

Sometimes I feel the same way as you do, Rachel. I love that Zachary seems content and is very intelligent, but at what point is it ok to just say "I need a break!" AND not feel guilty about it??? On one side of the coin, I feel like I'm a nursing mother and I just shouldn't be away from my baby until he's ready. I enjoy our strong bond, and everything I read on Mothering from other "good" AP moms tells me that I shouldn't even WANT to be away from him... But on the other side of the coin, my son is 18 months old and I'm ready for him to go to sleep on his own once in awhile, without screaming and wheezing and making whoever's watching him crazy... I'm tired of missing girl's-night-outs and bachelorette parties because my son is so attached to the boob. Do you know how many disgusted looks and sighs I get from my friends? I know I shouldn't care, but I do. My friend is getting married June 11, and I'm going to her evening wedding without Zachary. I'm just hoping he'll be semi-normal for my brother nad his wife while they watch him. When we went out for our anniversary (to dinner and back, much like yours Brayg), they said he cried basically the whole time. I just wish there was a happy medium for my little boy, YK?


----------



## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

I feel guilty if I leave her to sleep by herself, wheather it's a nap or at night time. I live in my mom's basement suite, so I get a lot of help from her when I need it. I can go shopping alone, and have the occational bath, things I don't think I would be able to do if I still lived with my partner. My mom doesn't work so she's always available. I guess I'm lucky, but I too still feel guilty sometimes.

decembersun~I'm not going to let anyone know the name till the baby is born. sorry! I know how interesting it is, but it's got to be a suprise.


----------



## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Mike and I have decided that we need to look at NewBean before we name her. We've got a short list, and we're going to decide after we see her little Bean face














. I'm so excited! I can't believe I'm almost 36 weeks!

We're also hoping to see Harry Potter next weekend! Eli will be fine with grandma, he loves her to pieces and she loves him.







I actually took Eli with me to see the second HP movie; he was a few weeks old and my sister offered to take me & our niece so we went! Eli nursed during the opening credits, then slept, then nursed through the closing credits (so we were the last people out of the theater!) It worked out perfectly! :LOL


----------



## *solsticemama* (Feb 8, 2003)

Well it started out beautifully sunny this morning and has since clouded over. Ds is napping right now. Brayg, I am in a similar quandry. Got a call from a good friend to celebrate her birthday with 2 other friends. Thing is it will be dinner, probably not till 8ish at night and about an hour or so away. Ds has gone down for dh occasionally but even if he were to do that there's still the 'tired' factor. I imagine dinner will go on for a few hours and then there's the drive back home which would have me in bed, earliest 11. It's just too late at this point, with ds waking thru the night and then up at 6 for good. OTOH it's been almost 2 years since I've done anything like this. Things are just that much more layered when you're a mom YK.

Lilmiss's mama I wanted to comment on your post about packing up to move. It touched me and I'm not sure if I can articulate why. Perhaps it's because the simplicity of your words belie the enormous effort and energy that you'll be offering to the task...having to physically move, look for a job, be a ground for your daughters, and all of this solo. Each of these by themselves is an undertaking but all together it's a monumental concentration. I hope you're able to do some things that nourish you during this period and recognize the effort you'll be expending and be gentle with yourself. Blessings on the transition and







s to you, mama.

We're off to Europe in a little over 2 weeks and are gearing up for that. I hope to be able to 'report' in a couple of times while we're away. In the meantime I'll continue to drop in and say







.


----------



## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

lilmiss...Owen has never taken a bottle. And at 18 months, it's not like he *needs* it, kwim?

Leah--IKWYM...On some levels I feel like I shouldn't want to go anywhere without him, but just every now and again I want to. And it isn't even me wanting to be away from him, it's just about going somewhere that I can't take him. My 10 year high school reunion is coming up this summer too (if someone decided to plan one!







) and I'd really like to go to that. I dunno...I would feel like I was letting him down in some ways by being gone. I was totally not like this with Jacob. I didn't AP w/him and it was just normal to have a sitter and go out once a week or every couple of weeks. How did I survive that?!?!


----------



## Mona (May 22, 2003)

i have also not been away from dd at night since she was born. she never was introduced to a bottle, and must have the nummers before she sleeps.








she also wakes sometimes an hour into the evening, so it is not like i can nurse her to sleep and then take off. i'm homebound, what can i say?









as far as baby sitters- i do not even leave her with my housemates. i let my housemates play with her while i am at home, but that is it so far. i imagine i will extend that in the near future. we'll see.....

lately she will not fall asleep in the car either. in fact, she has grown to hate the car seat, all of the sudden! she squirms and pushes her body around when i put her in there for our ride home. UGH!!! then she cries/whines all the way home, unless dh and i are both there. then i play w/ her in the backseat.

has anyone turned their car seat facing forward btw?

mamafern- your camping week sounds heavenly! wow! that's all i can say, whilst turning green with envy. :LOL


----------



## kerc (May 9, 2002)

ok...I *need* time away from my family. I think I need time away from all people, not just my family. So I say get a babysitter! We swap babysitting with another family (happens to be our dcp). Friday night their kids are coming to our house for a couple of hours and saturday erin will go there for a couple of hours. The kids and parents all know each other very well. But dd is in daycare, so she's used to being away. I think if you want time away then you likely are wanting to recharge and provide more to your kids. Don't get me wrong here, my kid comes first, I'm not out boozing it up every weekend or anything. But every now and again I think it is reasonable to get a sitter of some kind. Especially so older ds can have alone time with mom and dad. Kids really dig that kind of stuff.

car seat -- yes, we turned ours. Erin is only 22 lbs. But I was tired of listening to her cry when we went on short trips. Much better to be able to say "watch and see if you can see daddy's car" or "look erin, do you see the dog?"

mosquitoes -- we have had a really wet year this spring. I'm worried as soon as it gets hot it will be unbearable. Anyone have any suggestions on bug goop?

and finally ---> we bought a sandbox today! yeah! Erin played outside in it basically keeping herself occupied, no running in the road, no running in the alley, no running away from dad to get to road or alley. I am so psyched. Poor dad froze his little behind off watching her, but she loves it so far. BTW 19.99 at kmart. Much better deal than wm or target.


----------



## Mona (May 22, 2003)

kerc- how much sand went in her mouth? dd is still eating dirt, gravel, ect. UGH!!!


----------



## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

Mona--glad I'm not the only one! :LOL

Kristin...I totally understand that. And maybe I need time away and I'm just not realizing how much I need it. I dunno...it's so weird because it wasn't that hard to leave Jacob. But he was a different kind of kid too. Owen is VERY attached and while I know he'd be fine without me, it makes me sad to think about leaving him.

I'd like to be involved w/a babysitting coop. Trouble is, I'd have to reciprocate and I'm so protective of our family time that having to babysit would cut into that. I know that is being totally selfish of me. Maybe in time I will look into that.

I don't want to wean, and I know that leaving for one night here and there doesn't mean I have to, but since we've never skipped one night, I'm scared to even try.


----------



## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

thank you *solisticemama* i have been feeling quiet exhausted lately. i am getting a massage this week which i am looking forward to immensly









i turned Scarlett's carseat around as well. it is a perfect place for the girls to play. no one can take the other's toy and they can't touch each other. they get along great!lol

i can understand all of you ladies who don't want to leave their babes. until i had to go to work i was the same way. i didn't want anyone to watch them except me. however, once i had to start doing it 5 days a week my perspective changed a bit. still if i go out other than work it is after they go to bed. Scarlett doesn't wake up until at least midnight. i don't worry so much with Revina; I guess because she is older, articulate and i was able to spend the first 2 years of her life with her everyday. with Scarlett is was different i started back to work when she was 9 months. i pumped for her, but i don't think she ever got into the bottle. she was basically weaning herself by 11 months, but i feel she probably would have nursed longer had i been there. where is the heart in your throat guitly feeling smilie....?


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

hey ladies. i think the post of the week has got to us or it's just in the air already. and yes, sometimes i find it tough to not have the "adult "life. my mil took the three today for the first time in months and we spent the time cleaning the house. i would have never believed that i would do this kind of thing before kids but we live on the edge of slovenly as it is, and we are reformed slobs enough to know that we are happier and relaxed with a cleaner house.

there are things i want to do that i cannot do exactly now with the kids. i get mad at society for drawing so many lines about what people can do with kids and not, that i lack a village situation or that architectually i am more isolated than is healthy for my kids. i cope by talking to the mammas i know in real life that parent similarly. once again i strongly suggest finding some mamma friends. the contrived playdate or going to the park is really for you to find and have community, which your body needs to feel physically, as wonderful as online contact can be. and when i see other and older ap babies children, i am always struck by what wonderful people they are and why parenting the way i do it is worth doing, and it is much clearer seeing it in a different family. i'm at a point, whether good or bad for me, that i can tell almost immediately, whether a baby has been nursed by how they look, and most children how they are parented just by their open heart. it is a striking difference that fuels me.

i cope by reminding myself that this dependence changes, and that since i will live to probably 80 years old or so, this is a small percentage of my life that it is this way, a small piece of the pie.
another thing that helps is to learn about the age you are dealing with. i had penelope leachs book your baby and child for this reason. now when i go to park day weekly and ruby is miserable, the other mammas know, that this is just the age where they protest, and it is a comforting thing that they understand and have dealt with it, since i need the commune even with her whining.

the guilt, well, some of that's a built in survival instinct. we weren't meant to leave our babies laying on the ground for the wolves. the personal guilt can be worked with. it feels disorienting to be without your children when you are with them all the time, and learning to enjoy yourself without them takes practice, armed with knowledge and confidence that it is a blip in their life that they will forget, when you trust the caregivers. the nursing is also a survival instinct. if i need to nurse anyone and i can't, my mind gets muddy and i begin to feel terrible physically. it is why mammals have survived. i have learned that my kids do fine when i leave them, and yes it is rare even with both side of the family here, which has much to do with my control issues.

now when i do leave them, even with dh, there is usually a level of playing by ear, where i have to feel okay with it when i'm leaving, and know that i can be called back at any time. that's the grace of cell phones. and it is not worth being without any child if i am going to fret the whole time, though it has happenned. action and consequence are what i want my kids and myself to learn from, though i find i'm better off if i just do something i have decided to do instead of my body dealing with disppointment. and yes , this takes practice too, and doesn't always feel quite right. but knowing that i can change my mind at anytime is empowering.

and yes, they cry when you come back or pick them up. it is the ULTIMATE COMPLIMENT that they feel comfortable enough to give you their emotions. this is an important fact of mammahood for me.

the bad news is that it gets different and sometimes worse as they get older. those of you with the one baby, this is about the cutest age ever. they wear their emotions on their sleeve so they go from throwing stuff at you to dancing spontaneously. they cannot argue yet or wear you down verbally, and cannot hold on to their anger yet since they lack much memory.
the good news is that it gets different and sometimes better as they get older. the big thing is us mammas get even more adept at being mothers. and the children naturally grow out of phases, when they are ready. though it is sometimes a process of years, i really believe in it whether it be natural development or bad habits.

power is what i needed to be reminded of a week ago. that these are my choices. to trust myself to change things if they are the wrong choices.

i went to mom's night out, a biweekly dinner that my homeschooling group puts together (where nursing non talking babies are allowed though i went alone) and met three other women (whoever show up does, and even the mammas with older kis do not always make it when intended). i was absolutely frazzled, and holding on to anger at others because i wanted things to change and felt too exhausted to do anything about it, and miserable that my family was impossible to live with just because i was depressed, and aggravated that my feelings were so contagious. i've have gone through this enough times that i finally know that eventually i just have to forgive everyone including myself, let go of fighting the issues and feel happier regardless of the situation.
one of the mothers, a woman with six kids from age eight and under, told me directly, that I HAVE THE MOST POWER IN MY FAMILY. and i spent the rest of the week realizing it again. this is the advice i needed, and i'm passing on to you.

many hugs and much love, i'll get off the podium now.


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

lil'missmama, i'm thinking of you too. it reminded me of all the times we have moved. and i hope you can get through feeling guilty and forgive yourself about working. sending healing thoughts.....

casina


----------



## Mona (May 22, 2003)

casina:































i shall say more later...


----------



## abranger (Dec 15, 2001)

I have a hard time leaving Georgia with anyone but her daddy and her day care provider (although that tooks months for me to get over!) I used to leave her with my parents or my inlaws but lately it has been too hard. My parents have been here for 2 weeks and GA loves them. She plays all day with them but as soon as I leave the room she freaks. She wasn't like this just last month. I know this is the clingy stage but she's got it very bad. Any momma's of older kids have any advice?

I am also having a hard time with GA hitting/pinching/pushing etc. She does it to me, daddy, other kids. How do you guys deal with that? What do you do?

We did night wean this week so I think that is making matters worse, although all of this started well before that. She was waking every 1-2 hours and I work 3 days a week. The cumulative effect of 17 months with no more than 2 hours sleep uninterupted had really taken it's toll on me.

Car seat - we are still rear facing although dh is icthing to turn her. I have a good friend who used to be the head of National Highway Traffic Safety Administration and she put the fear of god in me about kids and cars so I am holding out a while longer.

My parents bought GA a bike while they were here. It is so great a radio flyer that I can push and later she can ride. She LOVES it.

That's all here

Amy


----------



## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Eli's carseat is still rear facing because his head is too big for him to be turned around. See, the reason that infant seats are rear facing is because their heads are so heavy in proportion to their bodies that in the event of a crash, their necks could not possibly maintain control of their heads. Well, Eli's head is about 60th percentile, but his weight is only 7th. That means that his head is still too big compared to his body for me to think about turning him around.

There have been a few times when Eli's been upset to get into the carseat. Each and every single time it's happened, it's been because he had had a growth spurt and the straps were forcing him into an uncomfortable position. We don't use the carseat for anything except riding in the car, so Eli's never associated it with anything else. We also use the carseat *every time* we get in the car, so Eli's never been in a vehicle without a carseat. It's not an option, and therefore it's not an issue. Carseats aren't like shoes or pants; we don't discuss it, we just do it. I don't think that turning his seat around would do anything positive for him, and I know that it could have potentially devastating consequences, so even though he weighs 22 pounds and is over a year old, he's staying rear facing.


----------



## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

DecemberSun, Grant gets the honor of naming this son since I got to name Christopher. He had picked out David Alexander so far. He claims that it isn't permanent yet but he calling the baby David now. I like that name.

Rachel is there the possibility of going to see Harry Potter w/Jacob at a time when Owen isn't sleeping? I know that on some Saturdays, you can go see a movie in the morning or afternoon. It is tough to leave your child. Once a month I go to Mom's Night Out and I leave Christopher w/Grant. I miss him the whole night even though I am having fun and he is weaned sort of. Every now and then when he isn't feeling well, he wants to nurse which is once every 3-4 weeks.


----------



## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hjohnson*
Rachel is there the possibility of going to see Harry Potter w/Jacob at a time when Owen isn't sleeping?

Yes, sort of. I thought about that--trouble is, my mom is really the only one I trust enough to watch Owen. She works 6 days/week (Mon-Sat), so I feel guilty asking her to sit here on her only day off.


----------



## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

We turned Owen's carseat around in February. It was getting so hard to keep him rear facing. I couldn't see him well enough for him to have a snack, hand him anything, etc. It's made a wonderful difference to have him forward facing. He is so strong, so I didn't worry at all.


----------



## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Mamajaza- are you picking the name yourself, or do you have your partner's input? Did you name Haeven yourself?

I like the name David, Heather. We were tossing that name around when I was preg. w/ DS because DH's first son had an imaginary friend he called "Davey". :LOL

Rynna, we did the same thing with Zach- we couldn't name him until we saw his face. He was either a Zachary Soza or an Izaac Jacob. He definitely looked more like a Zachary, no doubt about it.

Both Zachary and Julianna have forward-facing carseats. We drive a huge Yukon, so I'm hoping it'll hold up safely in an accident... I don't even want to think about what *could happen*, God forbid...


----------



## *solsticemama* (Feb 8, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *casina*

i was absolutely frazzled, and holding on to anger at others because i wanted things to change and felt too exhausted to do anything about it, and miserable that my family was impossible to live with just because i was depressed, and aggravated that my feelings were so contagious.


Yes, this is a tough one. The mother sets the tone, emotionally, psychically, spiritually. My hardest days are days when I'm grumpy and attached to being grumpy while wishing everyone else would be kinder/happier/lighter etc. What I find most difficult is not the actual grumpiness etc but rather the fact that I have a choice in the matter and sometimes I just plain choose grumpiness. My family is affected which then rebounds back to mama. Emotion is circular YK.

Abranger, when I read about your sleep, or lack thereof, all I could think was







s to you, mama. Ds is also a big nightwaker but I am not required to work outside the home as well. How is the nightweaning going?

We went to a bbq last night. Very enjoyable, lots of children of all ages, moms tuned in to their babes. There was about 15 mins where dh took over fully and I could just be. I didn't quite know what to do with myself without my little one at my hip. I watched myself go from room to room looking for what? Eventually I settled outside on the deck with a view of the mountains. It felt so nice to simply sit alone, quietly.

Ds has also taken to calling 'mama, mama' everytime I leave the room. I have to admit I find it very touching, his little voice calling out for his ground, his universe and the fact that I am that ground, that universe is stunning to me. Not that it's not inconvenient sometimes just that I see it as a miracle. He's also taken to hiding things around our place. When I come across a car carefully stuffed into some books, or a wrench wedged into the futon or a shoe neatly placed beneath the armoire I have to smile. I find it so poignant and I'm not quite sure why. There's something intimate about these findings, they point to an inner life, private and personal, slowly unfolding. Our little ones are worlds, deep and refined on a certain level already.


----------



## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

when elwynn and i went camping he burned his finger a bit. now when he sees anyone..stranger or family he todles up and shows them and wants them to kiss it better.. he says "oh, gosh, owie!" its so sweet. i leave him with his pappa pretty often now, but its a new thing. for the longest time i didnt like leaving him anywhere and there are only a few family members who i trust. i know for me though, when i started to take a bit more space for myself i felt a lot happier when i was with elwynn. i started to go to some martail arts classes and i really love it. i think that mommas have to remember to do things for themselves, because we are all so selfless and so involved with our children that we forget that we need love and nurturing too

oh and when elwynn wants to nurse now he says "milka milka..pease"


----------



## kerc (May 9, 2002)

erin is hiding things too. mostly ocks -- socks. In shoes, in cups, in whatever is handly.

Quote:

She works 6 days/week (Mon-Sat), so I feel guilty asking her to sit here on her only day off.
think of it this way -- she gets to spend time with her grandson. One on one time that is precious to come by from the sounds of it. My MIL would love to come. Of course, if your mom doesn't think of it that way....it is a whole other story.

rachel i am coming to minneapolis this week, i don't think i'll have time to hook up. I want to maximize my work time when I am away from erin (yeah, based on this morning's websurfing that is hard to believe).

****
and on mom's mood setting the tone -- totaly true around here. The good thing is recognizing that I need my space has really improved my relationship with my husband and with my child


----------



## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

I have left dd with dh recently and since she is a real daddy's girl she had no problem with this. We have left her with my mom a few times and that has gone well too, as long as I am back for nap there is no problem. My mom still has two young children at home though so she isn't able to babysit much. I have only recently felt comfortable leaving dd with anyone. She still nurses quite a bit and is very shy, even with family.

Recently I was invited to the graduation of a former student. I was beyond excited for this student. In the heat of the moment I made plans to travel, two hours away, for the graduation, Which was at 8pm. Dh and I thought we'd travel in the morning, visit with family, have an early dinner with a former coworker of mine, attend graduation and then drive home.

The next day I was







After thinking about it I knew I was expecting too much of dd. Even if we just drove up for the grad. She is always in bed by 8, if not asleep. I didn't feel comfortable leaving her with my mom for bedtime duty while I was in a whole different city. I was







over missing such an important moment in my former student's life.... but I had to do what felt right for my family, kwim? DD is a daddy's girl but when she's tired she is all about the "num nums"

Oh yeah, about the car seat thing. I was adamant abouyt leaving her rear facing as long as possible...but dd hates the car. hates it. Going anywhere in the car with her was a totally miserable experience, even if it was only a ten minute drive. So we turned her around as soon as she met the requirements. Now that she can see us and see out the windows she is SOOOO much happier in the car.

Today Dd and I are both sick.... yuck.


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

fern, i enjoyed your pictures. i'm always clicking on the tags now and then, to see the babies!


----------



## *solsticemama* (Feb 8, 2003)

Yes, the pics of your family are lovely MamaFern. Elwynn is beautiful, thanks for sharing. Everyone's been so generous with the pics of their babes I think I'm finally gonna have to reciprocate. So here is a picture of my little Mukti.


----------



## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

Oh my gosh the pics that mama fern and solsticemama have posted just totally made me and dd's day!! Thanks so much for sharing mamas!! You have beautiful babies.

I am hoping that when my mil comes in a few weeks she can help me to share some pics with y'all. She is a computer whiz (and I am not :LOL)


----------



## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

No problemo, Kristin. Maybe another time.


----------



## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

*solsticemama* your ds is adorable, such cute kissable cheeks!


----------



## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

I am enjoying all the pictures of everyone's kiddos. Casina, Fern, and Solticemamma, you have beautiful children. Here's the link to my album where you can view pictures of Christopher and also a picture of me and DH.

http://img45.photobucket.com/albums/v138/hjohnson6/


----------



## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

aaaaawwwww what a cutie Heather! Thanks for sharing with us!


----------



## kerc (May 9, 2002)

so cute heather! i love the bball one -- my dh and i used to go to a lot of cleveland games when we lived in ohio. no major league baseball in my neck of the woods.

i'm away from dd for a few days -- ok i left this am at 730 and will return after she goes to bed tomorrow. I







when i left this morning. She knew something was up, meaning she was WAY more clingy than an average morning. Left her with dh, they called my cell this afternoon and i talked to her. he said she was looking at the phone like "why is mom in this plastic thing?" So i haven't pumped yet and am feeling very full. Plus i forgot to bring an ice pack so i'm pumping and dumping







. sigh. Oh well, at least after I pump tonight I'll probably wake up feeling very full tomorrow morning and get an early start on my work here in minneapolis.

i thought of ya'll on the way down today. specifically i was thinking of lil'missmama and how hard it would be to move right now. I also was thinking about your comments on weaning....and worrying about you that you were feeling overly guilty about that. I'm amazed at how connected and down to earth you seem despite all the turmoil in your life.


----------



## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

Thank you for your kind words everyone; it really helps to hear and to know there is support for me. Right now MDC, specifically you guys, are my only mama support. This will change once we get to Tucson and I'm looking forward to talking to real live mamas again!







~Anna


----------



## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

hjohnson-- loved the pictures! it is so fun to see all the kiddos


----------



## Mona (May 22, 2003)

There have been so many good posts lately, and i would love to dig in and respond. but i just don't have the energy or time these days. ugh.
wanted to chime in , however, in saying that the newly posted photos are wonderful!!!









Here is our

latest photo


----------



## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

great pics everyone! The link in my siggy has been the same for a while--I like that pic so much. I did take a few new ones...

http://share.shutterfly.com/osi.jsp?i=EeAMWzFi1cOWjHyA


----------



## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

Everyone's babies are soooo cute!!! It would be so cool to see them all together hamming it up IRL. I took my pics down as they were getting pretty old, and I'll have some new ones in about a month, so stay tuned. I'm going to post some "day before baby makes his exit" pics too. I'll be hugemongous.









Fern, do you have any pics of haeven with elwynn that you could post for me? I think you've taken some more recently, right?


----------



## *solsticemama* (Feb 8, 2003)

Thanks mamas







Yep, everyone's babes are adorable, thanks for sharing.

So Brayg what did you decide to do? Did you figure something out that would allow both mama and babe to feel comfy? It turns out that my friend's birthday dinner is right here in town and starts earlier than I'd thought. Dh is all set to take ds for a couple of hours and STILL I'm hesitant and probably won't decide what to do till the last minute.

*Mamajaza* looking forward to 'hugemongous' belly pics









Eilonwy, still here?


----------



## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **solsticemama**
So Brayg what did you decide to do? Did you figure something out that would allow both mama and babe to feel comfy?

I've decided to put my life on hold! :LOL That makes me feel better, to be honest with you. It's more stressful to me to worry about a babysitter and how Owen would react than to miss out on whatever. I haven't gotten word on a reunion, so who knows if one is even planned? As far as the Harry Potter movie--I told dh that he could take Jacob and then Jacob and I would go see it together. Jacob loves to see movies multiple times, so it'll be great.


----------



## kerc (May 9, 2002)

to brayg for choose to do what felt right. good move! isn't that what we are supposed tobe doing -- listening to our instincts?


----------



## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

Rachel it sounds like you came up with a great decision! I got a special birthday present today. My friend's daughter was born at 2:51am this morning.


----------



## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **solsticemama**

Eilonwy, still here?

Very much so. And tired! But pretty happy, i guess. yesterday, i found out that i'm gbs negative







.

eli is very tired and refusing to sleep without nursies. nursies are *painful* for me right now; getting colostrum just seems to encourage him to suck harder these days.


----------



## *solsticemama* (Feb 8, 2003)

Brayg you'll only get support from this tribe I think







However I have IRL friends who seem uncomfortable with my 24/7 mothering. I have been getting subtle and not so subtle hints to "take a break, go out for a meal, leave him with a babysitter" and so on and so forth. This has been going on since ds was quite small starting with 'he's still getting bm only?' to the usual 'is he sleeping in his own bed/thru the night yet' On their own the comments are innocuous tho irritating but over time they start to wear on a person YK. With certain friends I feel I am constantly fending off the unspoken advice so I've taken to calling them less. Gee, this seems to have turned into a little rant.

I also tend not to think of this as putting my life on hold. It IS my life right now and most days I am grateful and happy about it. Ok I'm getting bored with the sound of my own voice.







mamas


----------



## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Brayg*
I've decided to put my life on hold! :LOL That makes me feel better, to be honest with you.

It's really interesting that you say that, because I see things just the other way; when I get to go out to a movie by myself, *that's* putting my life on hold, or taking a vacation. Being EliBean's mommy is my life right now. It seems pretty natural to me, and it's easier when I stop and realize that it's such a short period of time in the long run. I've probably got at the very least 35 more good years in me, so what's a few now? Whenever I hear an older person talk about their baby who is all grown up, I'm reminded of how short a time they are kids and it makes it easier for me to deal with the daily grind.

That's not to say that I don't need breaks on occasion... but I have to tell you, I didn't feel the need for breaks very often until I got pregnant again. I think I took three before NewBean was concieved, so that's three in ten months. And two of those were in the early days, when I was still stressed out from Eli's birth; I went to Border's, drank hot chocolate and read books and magazines for two hours. :LOL It was a vacation!

I'm fairly confident that this will change once NewBean arrives; two kids are a lot more stress, and a lot more work than one. So every now and then, I will put my life on hold, drive to Panera with a book, have a bowl of soup and then sit there reading until they close. I know I won't be the best Mamma I can be without the occasional sabbatical.


----------



## Mona (May 22, 2003)

a quick chiming in to say that dd too is my life, and i am fine with it. as i've said before, it took me 4 years to concieve dd. i honor and respect the fact that she came to me, and i feel i owe it to her to be there for her as much as humanely possible. this is not to say that i wouldn't mind a few more breaks, these last weeks especially. but it is something that i've choosen- having a child. ykwim?

darn, dd is litterally pulling me away from the keyboard.....


----------



## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

yesterday Scarlett tried to say her name for the first time. it came out like "sarett"


----------



## Mona (May 22, 2003)

ok, after i posted i re-thought about what i said, and i think saying "dd is my life" is not exactly a healthy perspective, for me anyway. i'd like to rephrase that as, dd is my main focus. :LOL may be symantics, but as i'm struggling w/ my internal spiritual practice (read: the lack of focus i've been putting on it the last year and a half), i scared myself by saying that dd is my life. i mean, i want to live a balanced life, ya know?

anyway, i have choosen to put the majority of my energies into raising dd. but i do think some "me" time is crucial in ultimately serving dd. for me, this translates into time alone to meditate, clean, read, ect.
maybe some time in the future that will mean time away from the house. but for now, i remain close at almost all times.


----------



## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eilonwy*
It's really interesting that you say that, because I see things just the other way; when I get to go out to a movie by myself, *that's* putting my life on hold,

Whoops!







I totally didn't mean it that way. Now I feel horrible!









I guess what I meant is that I decided to put other aspects of my life on hold because my duty is to my child/ren and they come first. I fully agree: my kids/family ARE my life, but so are some of the day to day things that come up that I may have to say "no" to--like reunions, movies, meetings, dental visits (I'm finally getting to go to the dentist this Tuesday!), etc...those things also make up my "life" and I'm choosing to put those on hold for now.

k...hope that sounded better!


----------



## kerc (May 9, 2002)

scarlet is a hard name to say. wow that she tried it!
erin i think is having more success with "champ" than erin. the er sound is kinda hard.

heather -- what a perfect bday present. is it your bday?

gotta run. dinner calls.


----------



## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

Mona-- I agree with your perspective. It is important to have a mama life too.

Scarlett has been trying to use more words lately. She talks a lot about "froggie jump, monkey jump, bunny hop", and lots of things are "stinky"LOL


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

solsticemama, are these friends that don't have kids that are saying these things?


----------



## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kerc*
scarlet is a hard name to say. wow that she tried it!
erin i think is having more success with "champ" than erin. the er sound is kinda hard.

heather -- what a perfect bday present. is it your bday?

gotta run. dinner calls.

Kristin yesterday was my 29th birthday. Can't believe 30 is next year.


----------



## *solsticemama* (Feb 8, 2003)

Yes, one doesn't have any children so it's easier to put her comments in some kind of perspective but the other one does and because she's got the context it's harder. She's a lovely woman, very kind but with a different style of parenting. She's older too, her kids are grown, so the dynamic is slightly different than it would be with a peer. She doesn't get why I want ds in bed with us, why I waited so long for solids and am still nursing, why I don't use a babysitter etc and because the reasons are intertwined with the very fabric of who I am as a woman I decided to stop explaining. The result of this is a whole unspoken dialogue that's going on between us. It's all good tho YK. She's taught me alot and there is a mutual respect there and these days I'm thinking to be able to live with ambiguity is key and it's often what brings texture to my days, much as I may want things black or white sometimes.

hpjohnson belated birthday wishes to you

December Sun where are you these days, mama?


----------



## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

Happy Belated Birthday Heather!









Rose--you hit the nail on the head...

>>>because the reasons are intertwined with the very fabric of who I am as a woman<<<

My whole identity (by choice) right now is being a mom. The thought of going and doing something without my kids feels strangely like shedding my skin--something I do not desire to do. If I am gone without my kids, something always comes up and I find myself lost and wishing they were there by my side.


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

i'm ready for my vacation now.


----------



## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Brayg*
Happy Belated Birthday Heather!









Rose--you hit the nail on the head...

>>>because the reasons are intertwined with the very fabric of who I am as a woman<<<

My whole identity (by choice) right now is being a mom. The thought of going and doing something without my kids feels strangely like shedding my skin--something I do not desire to do. If I am gone without my kids, something always comes up and I find myself lost and wishing they were there by my side.

Brayg, ITA with your entire post (including the happy birthday Heather part














hope it was a great day!)

Casina, are you going somewhere, or just dreaming?

Look, here's a pic of my dd and I










:LOL Love that new smiley

Hope all is well with you mamas....


----------



## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

Hey Mama Fern,

Ever since I saw the pics you shared with us of Elwynn, I've had the slogan "Boobs not Bombs" in my head. Would it be okay with you if I put in my signature?









Pretty Pretty Please ??


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

i'm ready to go somewhere but haven't done anything about it. we've talked about going to gulf shores or destin since it is not far to drive. my dh's schedule is and always has been wacky, and he has to plan the trip because if he is not completely okay with spending on the credit card to do something fun, then it is intolerable and a waste of money.

i'm also up for a big mothering dot commune gathering so i can meet everyone in real life.

my eldest has been annoying me more lately, and hitting more again. it wears me out and i need to stop thinking of him as an enemy. and my dh and his band had a show this evening, but i totally forgot since i can not remember verbally as well as written. so it really threw me off that he was leaving (as well as everything else). i need to get him to email me or circle the date on the calendar.

.........
haha, i forgot i left this on and put the kids to bed over an hour ago. i just threw the biggest tantrum and for the most part they enjoyed it and told me they loved me.

so i guess my mood has been quelled! i'm gonna go mix some paint now, and go decorate the wall i've been thinking about all day. when i get it done the pleasure of it will keep me from being so crabby.


----------



## Mona (May 22, 2003)

casina- i hope your evening got better and that you had fun with the painting.







s to you...
i think a gathering would be so much fun! they are having one in wisconson in a few weeks, but that might as well be greece! :LOL it is too bad that we live so far from each other.

omg, i just noticed this new smile







: it is funny!








and i love the new toddler one. i have to use that in my sig line i think.


----------



## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

casina, I have days like that too!

I love that new smiley! I cracked up, Mike came running in to see what was up and then he started laughing too. That's my BeanBean! :LOL He's definately a drive-by nurser!









Mike and I saw Harry Potter and had a lovely date.







Yay! Now I'm off to AC Moore to get some knitting needles for....







My First Pair of Woolly Shorts!


----------



## Mona (May 22, 2003)

ugh... dd swallowed a dime this morning. i have a thead posted about it, but wanted to know if anyone has any advice on getting it to expel as quickly as possible.....







:


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

either my kids have never swallowed money, or i have no idea that they had.

my taking care of your child book (section 78, swallowed foreign objects) says that more concerning are: dissolving items, items being lodged in the windpipe, and something sharp puncturing the intestine in which none apply to you. in the situation of successful swallowing of nondissolving ogjects, the book does not suggest calling or seeing a doctor (which of course does not meant that we can't, i'm stressing that it doesn't consider it necessary).

it says "the best strategy is to do nothing unless you are force to do something". and suggests home treatment of looking at bowel movements in next few days to reassure yourself, and if you don't see it, "it is a far better bet that you missed it than it did not pass."

(it says that perforation requires surgery but it is known that "even razor blades have gone through an entire digestive system without noticeable effect." maybe i'm weird, but i find that reassuring) it says "the children's favorites among non dissoving objects are coins, buttons, eyes from teddy bears and dolls, safety pins, and fruit pits. nature seems to have prepared the digestive tract well because even very sharp objects such as open safety pins, pieces of glass, needles, and straight pins regularly pass through the bowels with the greatest of ease."

hope this helps monalisa
hugs to you. i know for me this is the kind of situation where i learn about myself and fear, and use it only to keep me vigilant.

much love, casina


----------



## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Well, I'm back... (Mac and I went to Mexico for 5 days, hee hee...) It was a much-needed, very relaxing mini-vacation. And it put my whole life back into perspective. Lately, I've just been going crazy trying to get some ME-time, without my son screaming his head off and scaring off any prospective sitters (always family members- our fam. is HUUUUUGE, and very close). I'm dividing my time between my perfect first born son, my dear husband, and two foster daughters needing their own love and validation, and I had no idea where to go from there. I was just all mixed up and frustrated, and while I was in Mexico listening to the waves and feeling the wind and watching the sun go down, and I didn't have to BE anywhere or DO anything, but just BE-- I just kind of re-thought what my plan was. My little baby is just that- such a LITTLE BABY. In our society, 18 months of age is, like, OLD, but in my mind my baby is still so needy, YK? I was having these thoughts in the back of my head that he still needs me so much, but at the same time I'm trying to stretch away from him and make him grow up faster than he's ready to because I've been "taught" to think of him as a toddler instead of a baby. It sounds so horrible to admit it, but I was going against my AP instincts to instead go by what society thought of as normal. (Does this make any sense?) "Wean, CIO, get them on their own and out into the world" or someting like that! So, I was thinking I needed to get him to sleep through the night and go to sleep without nursing and basically be able to exist without me, so I can have some time away, when right now my life SHOULD be about him, and I should be here with him, shaping his mind and teaching him, and just watching him grow and ENJOYING him. He's still so little, and so young, and I'll NEVER get this time back, so I have no idea why I was in such a rush... (The baby fever does have a baring on it, but I've relaxed about that, too... It'll happen later in life and if it doesn't, well, life goes on!) My life can still be MY life with Zach in it, even if he's attached to my breast 24/7. I don't care anymore who says what to me about my son being bratty or clingy or needy or spoiled. He's MY baby and I love him and he loves me and the way I parent has been working out just fine for us! (YES, he still very much needs the boob at 18 months, but he also jumps into the pool by himself and he talks to strangers and he's hilarious and charismatic and AWESOME, thank you very much!) I guess it just took a new environment (and a few beers and a conversation with my mama) to put me back in perspective. So, I'm back. I'm me again. And I'm not going to push my baby away and make him grow up any faster than he wants to. He'll only be little once (sniff, sniff) and he's so incredibly beautiful that I just need to ENJOY him to the fullest extent possible, and be thankful that he's here and he's mine...

How ironic that you guys had your own little discussion about all this going on while I was in Mexico finding it out for myself. Our special tribe is bonded closer than we know, it seems...

Hope you had a nice b-day, Heather. Sosticemama, I didn't get to see the pics of your DS. The link didn't work for me for some reason...


----------



## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

December Sun, your post was so beautiful and very well said.
Welcome back


----------



## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

Nice to read that you've figured things out, decembersun. It IS hard to remember how precious our little ones are at every moment of the day. We have needs too. I'm finding it particularly hard because I'm pregnant and I have to protect my belly from her little feet and knees all the time, amungst other things. It gets frustrating. And I wish she would just "grow-up" because she still does all those totally annoying things sometimes, but she won't till she's ready. I'm trying to accept that it will be like I am going to have twins once this new babe arrives. I don't want my DD to be pushed to grow up, even then. Just saying IKWYM, decembersun.

We went to the park yesterday and haeven had her fill of pin cherries (and seeds) I hope they come out as many as went in.:LOL


----------



## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

Are you saying you got away for 5 days? you are my hero and I am officially jelous. I am planning on being away for 2-3 weeks (probably 2) 18 months from nbow and i am already stressing about leaving Ava. at the same time if I had the oppritunity to go away right now I might not even stop to pack. Of course as I right this she has just drifted off with all her treasures in her hands (her sisters b-day card, a pack of bobby pins that shake nicely and something else I can't make out. ) and is just so cute and swwet I can hardly keep frm sobbing. these little babies really mess without minds. how do thay do that?

Speaking of Ava . . . My oldest dd is 7 1/2. She has been walking for 6 of those years (she was a little late) so for those last 6 years everytime a child has been at MILs house people have been jumping up to keep someone from hitting thier head on the piano bench. Well, we finally broke our streak. Funny how for a girl who they could not get to bleed (after poking 25 times in the head, heal arm and leg) they couldn't get enough blood for so much as a PKU test, now she is the biggest bleeder. In about 15 seconds she soaked her onsie completely. I haven't seen the diaper yet. she was wearing a freshly dyed one size and ME airflow. hope it isn't ruined. I of course was completely un-reachable (last person on the planet without a cell phone) but on the upside my dh had overslept and hadn't gone to work yet so MIL was able to reach him. he not only took care of it calmly, a man who has been to two dr.s appointments with the kids and only 3 prenatals and hasn't got a clue what I do by way of that managed to call ask a nurse, disregard thier advice, take her to an off hours clinic, but not just any, the right one! and gt her glued back together and she was happily playing back at grandmas in a reletively well put on diaper (which he has never changed) and clean clothes. and her hair still looked pretty







My friend even has a messege proving how calm he was. and ooo! I didn't leave a carseat, and meant to mention that "in case of an emergancy she is big enough for the booster and Lily can sit in a reegular seat" but decided not to because even though MIL is pretty militant she might consider running for milk an demergancy. you never know. But dh figured it our without missing a beat and since someone had to hold a cloth to her head she ddn't have the option of fiddleing with the seat belt. so he did great. I am making him handle this stuff from now on.


----------



## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

hello..

punkprincessmomma-go for it..! boobs not bombs for all!
and thanks everyone for your comments on the pictures. all of your babies are beautiful too! i always have fun seeing pictures.

we've been busy in the city, but im going home tomorow. and oh how i'm home sick. its been nice being in vancouver around all of my friends, but there is somthing so nice about going home to where there isnt so much drama, and there is a quiet home to retire to. my best friend and doula is moving to montreal in a few weeks..im pretty sad about it. shes going for 7 years..midwifery school... ...she has a son who is almost a year. it makes me sad to think it may be a whole year before i see him again. she has promised to come back in the summer. but that is a whole year away.

..life is a bit hard these days. elwynn's pappa is being a real ass right now. ive cried my eyes out almost every day this week. i guess we are broken up..its a mutual thing, and im happy about it but i dont know why he is being so immature and selfish. he told me he is going away for the whole summer after i spent 100$ for classes that i was going to take because he Promised to take care of elwynn on those days. now im wondering what im going to do. it doesnt feel okay to me that he thinks he can walk in and out of our lives when it is convienient for him without any thought of how it makes elwynn and i feel. i want to just close my doors to him and tell him to never bother rme again. *sigh*

im sure things will look brighter tomorow.

jazz, ill bring my digital camera over now that i have the cord that i need to DL the photos and we can take a bunch of pics of the babies and your belly if you want and put them up. ill be home tomorow. i miss you!


----------



## kerc (May 9, 2002)

leah: five days? did you take kiddos? (um, not flaming in any way by asking that. kind of jealous of five days in a warm climate and feeling a little touched out by my dd).

mamafern -- hugs to you. That sounds like a really hard situation for both you and ds. I have no words of wisdom. These situations are always the kind that make me seek the advice of older women. I spent some time in the south and realized while there that old southern women generally have a story to tell and are a wealth of knowledge.

lilyka -- WOW! That is great news all around. (a). that dd is ok (b). dh is totally capable of doing things himself and (c). that you now know that dh is capable. And umm, 2-3 weeks away -- that sounds like fun.

gotta run. playgroup is at my house tomorrow and well, it is a disaster zone.


----------



## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

s mamafern...I totally know where you are coming from. My xdp is a back up plan at best. It is much easier for me to see him as that then to get my hopes up that he will actually help me or do what he said he would. And I can sympathize with the whole we are together, no were not together, were together, etc... I am just finally okay with not being together and it has taken awhile. It is so painful, but it does get better.

I know I posted awhile back that Scarlett started talking about animals, but my goodnes, she has turned into a talker overnight! She went from knowing words, but not saying much to trying to say almost everything. It is so cute to hear her try to pronouce words. cheep (chip), um on mommy (come on mommy), samu (samual her cousin), gama (grandma)








She loves to torment Revina by going up to her with her arm stretched out and saying "push" She doesn't actually touch Revina, but it sends Revina into fits. Scarlett thinks she is so funny!

I cut her hair today. I took off about an inch and a half in some places. She was starting to resemble the shaggy dog, I think she is happy to be able to see again


----------



## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

wow, Leah...sounds like your trip was a major reflection time. Glad it's so clear for you!







Welcome back, btw.

Owen seems to be getting more attached to me lately. I've been trying to let dh and him have their time together. Instead of me getting up in the morning on the weekends, dh has been doing it (finally! for almost 18 months, it's been all my job to get up in the morning because I'm the one w/breasts! :LOL). I've come to the realization that my 18 month old child WILL survive without breastmilk until I get up--which is usually only an hour or so after he gets up. Of course the first thing we do when I get up is nurse--he meets me at our chair with the pillow!









I've also kind of stepped back a bit and let dh help him with a lot of the day to day stuff. It's usually easier for me to just do it, but Owen needs to know that daddy is just as capable and it's ok. I tend to just do too much.


----------



## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

lilmiss--Owen has also started saying a TON of words all of a sudden. I finally realized that he's been saying Jacob, but I didn't know it. He says "cup-cup" and here I thought he was talking about a cup! :LOL He can say banana now too. It's just so awesome--I LOVE this age!


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

mamafern, that sucks. i find your vibe emanating so loudly from your post it just makes me want to come over.

from my understanding so far, most men are not able to understand and otherwise have no clue from other people how much they affect women and their babies. they cannot fathom the invisible threads and how they easily can wreak havoc on the microcosm of love you have created.

and it is hard for the mammas for many reasons, but i find it really painful that we usually want the kids to have the connection with the dad, and endure weird shit because of that reason. i have wondered about the state of monogamy for the past few years, what it is going to be like for my daughter and such.

i have worked really hard on my marriage and i consider it a good one. but i'm wondering if this is what is meant to be for women anthropologically or economically in the future. there are more single mamas than not anyway, though that is i'm sure a contributing factor in detached parenting due to the framework of life in the states. i think the failed general expectation of lifelong partnership and participation is what is heartbreaking and disappointing. and we deserve to have great partners and families and accountable daddies for our kids, or we need to create more village situations where we are more independent, and consider making shorter partner contracts and changing the standards a little. many times me and friends have wondered about the logistics of polygamy or being lesbian mothers. i'm always interested in situations that would give me an extra mamma or two or even a circle of mammas i loved that i live nest door to.

i guess i'll have to figure out society and religion another day. i promise that if i happen to become immortal i will do it, maybe start by destroying the sprawl and making pattern language communities. but in this mortal life i'm not very
reliable these days. perhaps the intentional community i want will happen.

ohwell

MEANWHILE, i'm finding my kids absolutely lovely today.


----------



## Zaxmama (Mar 2, 2004)

Hello again my friends..it's been so long since I posted here I should probly reintroduce myself..(although a lurking I have been) I am Jaime and my DS is Zachary..and we are doing ok..in the midst of our currently and hopefully temporary turmoil of a life...you see... I left my husband a few weeks ago and moved back home with family and friends..I am pretty sure my marriage is over but I feel like my life is just beginning..and my son who is the love of my life is with me and safe so a time for healing is at hand...so keep us in those positive thoughts Mamas we need all the help we can get.. however I am pondering a "stage" in my sons life ..he has become kind of aggressive towards me lately..he has begun hitting me and kicking me and he never did this before it seems to be getting progressively worse too..I am unsure how to deal with this because he is normally so sweet and loving..I am pretty sure its a fallout reaction from the changes in our life recently but I am unsure as to how I should deal with it.. my family says I should smack him back but that doesn't feel right to me..I know he is scared and unsure like I am but I could use a bit of guidance from you more experienced mamas...well thanks for letting me ramble... hoping for some sound advice and good vibes...


----------



## kerc (May 9, 2002)

welcome back. on him hitting you ---? more attention from you? talking out loud about your feelings and ways to deal with them? find another way for him to let out frustration and those feelings. Gosh that sounds like such a tough spot.


----------



## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Mamas, come on, do you really think I could/would leave Zach for 5 days??? He would scream until he passed out, seriously. He has asthma and he just goes crazy when I *attempt* to let him cry a little bit. He just doesn't give in for anything, except the "bobby". And I really am ok with that!









Part of the reason I came into some clarity is because it was just me and my baby I had to look after. No Daddy, no Crystal Pistol, no Julianna Banana, no doggies (my Luna is pregnant!!!







), no plants to water, laundry to fold, diapers to dunk, meals to cook, etc., etc. I could focus on myself while Zach was sleeping- which allowed me to sit in the ocean with a cold beer, talking to my mom about everything and nothing. And when Zachary was awake we'd eat fresh Baja seafood, and take walks down the beach and pick up shells and he'd giggle when his naked butt would fall in the tide pools, and he'd run away from the big waves. The most precious thing I have ever seen in my ENTIRE life were his tiny little footprints in the sand... Oh, it just made me MELT!









Zaxmama, welcome back. My Zachary went through a hitting faze about a month or two ago. He still does it sometimes when I tell him "no" about something. I tried hitting him back, but then it turns into a slap fest and we end up laughing. So, now I hold his arm down so he can't move it and he gets so PISSED. He hates being restricted, so it seems to work for us. I tell him "Don't hit, it's not nice" and hold his arm. He's learning not to hit me, but he still hits his sisters, but I think that's perfectly normal...?

Casina, glad you're feeling good. I can only imagine the immense amount of patience it takes to do all that you do... What does your DH play in the band? Mine plays guitar, and drums sometimes. I sing. We're recording "Kid Fears" by the Indigo Girls on a borrowed 4-track right now. What a stress reliever music can be!

This Thursday I'm going to meet with other like-minded mamas, and I can not wait! We're starting a 'birth circle' where we can sit around and talk about our pregnancies, labors, and births, and also structure some support for pregnant and laboring mamas when the time comes. We can come in and watch their other children, cook meals, do housework, or go to the hospital and serve as doula, give massages, keep the room quiet, etc. I'm excited because nursing babies (and toddlers) are always welcome to the groups, so I can bring Zach without guilt. I'm going to an evening wedding this Friday. My friend of 11 years is getting married, and I'm leaving Zach here with my brother and sister in-law... I'm scared! But I don't feel guilty... I'm just going to enjoy myself and hope for the best.


----------



## Mona (May 22, 2003)

last night was kind of slapping at me too... more of a arm in the air thing. she was very over tired, so i know that played into it. when she is wound up, w/o enough quiet time (read: over stimulated), i think she becomes overwhelmed. i told her no, and then changed the scene.

i've recently decided that i need to build more "quiet time" into our day some how, so that she can process things a bit more and feel inside. too much stimulation, doing all the time, makes her a bit chaotic and stretched.

i'm sorry to hear about the partner issues for many of you. my dh and i do not have the best relationship either, unfortunately, but are trying to work on it. i agree w/ casina's comments. i have a friend who says that men will always be, to a certain extent, boys. they (the majority) really do not have the ability to be responsible like women (mamas) are, in that we so readily self sacrifice. i could go on and on, but need to get moving.

oh- no dime in the poop yet. i'm starting to get a bit concerned....


----------



## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Mona, I forgot to replay to your post about the dime. Zachary swallowed a tiny turquoise colored ball (the size of a cherry pit) while he was playing at his cousin's. I had no idea he swallowed it until I saw it in his diaper as I went to dunk it! My brother and I were partial to swallowing nickels when we were little- something about the size and thickness or something. My mom is an RN and she never freaked when we swallowed them, and she didn't really watch to see if they came out, so I wouldn't worry too much. As long as she's not having trouble breathing and you're sure it went down all the way, she should be fine I think. All they're going to do if you take her to the doc is take an X-ray and say "Yep, it's a dime. Wait until it comes out." It might take a little while to move through the intestine. Zach's ball took about 3 days.

Fern and Jasanna- I'll be a little closer to you guys this summer. We're going to Spokane for 2 weeks. My brother lives there on Mt. Spokane in the house my dad built himself.







We used to backpack up in Valhalla every summer, but not since Zachary came along!


----------



## *solsticemama* (Feb 8, 2003)

1,000









Mona, I've been wondering how the dime situation was playing out. Maybe she didn't swallow it afterall. Apparently I swallowed a penny when I was a toddler and my mom did what you're doing and it did come out eventually. Keep us posted.

DecemberSun it took about 30 seconds for me to realize that you didn't leave your ds at home. All the posts about him needing the breast to go to sleep etc made me realize that it would be, at the very least, a physical impossibility for both of you. Interesting how you were working thru what we were all discussing.

As to the dh situation, well the division of labor is pretty standard in our home altho dh has taken on the dishes completely. The mandala is always moving, circling. Grumpiness, fatigue and being underappreciated keep things stagnant tho. On good days I remember this.

MamaFern & Zaxmama







s to you both.







on your transition

Lilmiss'mama where are you at with your move?

Casina what color did you paint the wall?


----------



## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

My little man is sick, and I am huge and tired (though unexpectedly feeling rather... libidinous of late







) and ready to not be pregnant anymore, except that I don't want to have NewBean until EliBean is better. He's probably got pneumonia and that's not something I want his new sister exposed to.







So I'm feeling conflicted, because I'm so ready to have the baby but I don't want her to get sick.









On the up side, I've recently discovered that knitting soakers is very fast and very easy for me.







I'll have to make one for Eli, and try out some other patterns. Fun, exciting stuff. And who knows, maybe I could even make a little bit of money on the side which is always helpful!







I've been knitting for years, but I never tried to knit a soaker because a) I'm allergic to wool and b) I thought it would take a lot longer. Turns out that my wool allergy, along with several others, has at least temporarily abated. Very cool stuff! (I was also fascinated the other day when I stood outside and, for the first time since I can remember, I smelled new mown grass without sniffling or getting red, itchy eyes or wheezing. It actually doesn't smell bad! :LOL)

Tomorrow I'm going to try a pattern of my own design, and test it on my BeanBoy. I love having hobbies! :LOL


----------



## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

*Solsticemama*, we are tentatively planning on leaving Sunday. I can't believe the time has actually come; I have been thinking about it for so long. I am scared, sad, and excited all at once. Scared b/c things are so iffy for us in Tucson...housing, childcare, etc... Sad to be leaving my family...Excited for our new adventure and friends. However, I just need to do it, it will never be perfect, so I just believe it will all work out! Once we go I don't know how long it will be before I can post again. I will have a computer, but affording internet service may not be possible. I'll try and check in on my friend's computer.
Congratulations on a 1000 posts!!
I am close and thought maybe I could get there before I left, we'll see!

Scarlett is really into hitting Revina these days. I tell her that it hurts Revina and we touch gently. I usually just end up removing her from the situation. Yesterday, she hit me and I took her hand and said gentle and showed her with her hand. She tried to repeat gentle and then touched me very softly. I praised her and thought oh good that worked, then she smacked me even harder than the first time , so I got up and walked away. I think she'll just grow out of it eventually.


----------



## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

Just a little note on the man-issue. I would like to say that my brother (mamfern's partner) IS still a boy, literally. He is just 20 years old right now. Just felt like sticking up for him a bit, as I'm his big sister. He has a LOT of growing up to do.

In my situation, my DD's daddy very much wants to be in our life. But I feel the need to have the support of my family right now. He lives over 9 hours away, but he is welcome to come whenever he is able. He finds it more important to stay where he is than to come live near us, because of the fact that he has made a name for himself where he lives. He does carpentry and other gardening things. He misses us a lot, and is coming to visit again before the new babe is born. I like things the way that they are right now. I







having my mom there for me all the time. I feel that this is (partially) how it is supposed to be. It does feel like a community sometimes, as my grandparents live nearby as well, and I think it is so good for haeven to have them in her life as well.

I totally understand and believe in the "it takes a village to raise a child" term. I felt so isolated before, living out in the country in a (beautiful) place. I want to share my children's beauty with others while they are so young, and they will benefit too, from having a mom that's not







s. I want to be able to enjoy my babies, not feel such total responsibility that I never have a moment to myself.

Anyways, I think we're all on the same wave-length, right? If we all could live in a community we would.

eilonwy~I'm going to learn how to knit soakers too! looks like fun. I've also made a bunch of butt-sweaters and one with leggings that looks great! They are sooo easy to make BTW.Hope your boy gets better soon so your little girl can come out safely!

Decembersun~Maybe you could come visit







. It's beautiful around here in that time of year. Have to do lots of swimming! Spokane is actually quite far, but if you go to vancouver island, we're on the way.

have to go, baby is gGGGrrumpy, and sleepy...


----------



## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

Do you think men act the way they do, b/c it is what we expect from them? It seems as though a lot of times they are expected to act like children or not get it in terms of relationships and families. It is like the boys will be boys attitude. We write young fathers off as 'oh well they just have a lot of growing up to do' Young mothers aren't treated as such. I bet most young fathers have partners/wives that are young as well. Yet, the mothers are supposed to be responsible and act like a mother. Shouldn't men be held in the same light? Just some thoughts...


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

expectation is a factor in how people behave, especially when it comes to my children as they grow up. however, i have been thinking more about the difference between boys and girls simply because i have a girl now. ruby and reed are in so many ways the same person, just different sexes (and more enlightened mother with sling). her awareness is so different. she is able to do things that my boys still can't do. clay is in between them in many ways but her empathy and intuition is very apparent. my boys seem to think in much more a linear fashion while she can see and think about ten fifty things at a time and understands that she is part of the universe, not the universe itself. (that brings to mind two songs i've been learning to play and sing that compare a male and female viewpoint of the end of a relationship: big star/chris bell's i am the cosmos, and emiliana torrini's to be free)

i don't know if i had told y'all and am too lazy to read back but not too long ago, my dh told me that he realized he was not the smartest fastest best person in the whole world when he was eleven years old (because he lost a footrace at school) i've always been aware of his self-centeredness, and had always kind of blamed my mil for her parenting. but the more i look i see more boys and men being this way. i have started becoming friends with a woman who has the same age children but opposite sexes, and parents similarly, and it is becoming clear how different her life is from mine, just because of the sexes.

i have alot to say about the hitting, and i've come full circle in the past two months about how i'm parenting (yes, even seriously considering spanking) especially because of this subject. i've decided i'm happy with the way i'm doing things, but it is not the easiest path. so do you want to hear it?


----------



## kerc (May 9, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *casina*
so do you want to hear it?

yes, of course we do. or at least I do.

internet: remember that most libraries have internet access for free. You can check in weekly there, if not at home. Also helpful to email if you're like me and wanting to email family/friends who live far away.


----------



## bakeria (Jan 10, 2004)

Yes, yet more wisdom please Casina.
Men...boys what can I say? I hate this word but can't come up with a better one. My dh and I constantly micromanage eachother when it comes to parenting. The whole house could be falling down around our ears and often is and we'll be nattering at eachother about whether she should be dressed more warmly or if she's eating with the right sized fork. I am just as guilty as he is. It is hard for me to give up mama control sometimes.He is a good daddy and I am lucky.
Good luck to all of you going through such dramatic change. You are so brave.

Maria, mama to Faye 11.17.02


----------



## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

Wah! I lost my post! Oh well...I was just congratulating Rose on her new Senior Member status! :LOL


----------



## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

lilmiss'mama~~ I think that boys are behind girls by two years in the "pubesent age" right? And I think that once they catch up to girls in the physical, they are behind in the emotional. It's what feels true to me, and I've heard that before too. So it's like my bro is 18, emotionally, and he's still growing physically, as well. I don't think anyone is saying "boys must be boys" around here, because he needs to grow up, but has never really had a chance. He had a baby at barely 19, mamafern is 2 years older than him.

ANYways, if you want to talk about this, fern, PM me.


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

okay, where to start? i'm the mamma with the hitting kid that doesn't make him apologize. hitting is a large part of my life sometimes, like this past month with the weather being too hot to get out and dh working an extra hour a day and having more gigs. i will bet money that most of you will not have an almost six that is still reacting this way. so that's my disclaimer. i'm sort of an expert on my own family, and that's about it.

hitting and other annoying society frowntype behaviour have pretty basic reasons. for this age, the 18 month, some of it is just experimental play like everything else. you show them the soft touch or other things they can do or you laugh or you say ouch but take it in the spirit it is in. no panic. be calm and easy mamma and don't give it any more attention than anything else they do that is new.

a second reason is between the child and siblings. a creative drama that works to get parents involved. sometimes i have to pretend that it isn't happenning and go back to folding laundry. if i stay in bed after all three are up in the morning there are no altercations until i get up. sometimes i have energy to show them how to work it out, which sometimes is talking, reminding them to get me, and sometimes telling clay just to get away from reed.

third reason is tiredness sickness hunger frustration stress you name it. and here i offer two books that have helped me. one is the five love languages of children which reminds me where i am coming from. the other is called easy to love difficult to discipline which has the premise that we have to have the skills we want to teach.

i have certain goals as a mamma. i am fostering adult mental emotional spiritual and physical health. for me this means that certain tactics, and i have used them all, like distraction, fear, suppression, rewards and punishment, reasoning, you name it, do not address the problems, and sometimes create more.

i have had to look at how i behave and how i react. i need validation and acceptance no matter how ridiculous it may seem. i need rest and food and love. these are what our kids need unconditionally.

so one thing is to observe and prevent some of the outbursts. they are our teachers. if they are obnoxiously tired, you are the discipline they do not have and you help them. if certain people have the wrong vibe (like reed whacking my mom with a metal pipe last week) then you will have to control the exposure. make your home so that you do not have to say no. out of sight is out of mind. hide the things that can cause frustration for both of you. the little things add up.

the way i have come to see it, is that my kids are human. i am human. we are all animals. we get mad and upset, and in this world there are minutaie of stresses. it is natural to hit and flail. we all need to scream sometimes. or maybe not, my family is chock full of intensity. another form is whining and biting. it is okay to feel these ways, and we special mammas are going to see it because we rear our children to feel completely comfortable to do so. in our society it is not okay to behave these ways and people become closed and depressed and afraid and truly angry. i have come to live comfortably and see more the beauty of raw negative emotions in all people. in their best form they can become motivating and empowering. i want my kids to know their bodies and feelings. so yes, they run like wild animals. and they are openhearted, beautiful creatures.

impulse control is needed before the negative behaviours go away if you want them conditioned even with any form of discipline. so, no, for our babies, it will happen often or rarely until a certain age. what i'm saying is don't work too hard. just be cool. i'll say for many kids, things change around threeish. and five. and seven. a good tool is to know how kids behave around certain ages. and the acting out physically is a part of going from a lump to walking and talking and knowing that they are themselves is the terrible two people are talking about, the two year old negative stage that we are beginning already. observing older children will help you feel better about your own kids behaviour. it is normal, and the reality of emotions is quite an amazing thing.

i had to decide again whether i was doing the right thing, parenting this way. it is hard because we lack the village. in the village all the kids would have all the same rules and very little punishment would need to be given because all the kids would know. so we tend to be our own little villages in each household, and this requires much more energy and reinforcement or safety. though it is nice to have our own private paradise.....i had some well intentioned mothers seeing how frazzled i was offer spanking and revoking privileges as tools, and i was very open to their perspectives..... and came to realize again that i am intentionally disciplining by rolemodeling and natural consequences.

so i guess i'm better at troubleshooting, but the general rules for me apply for hitting. the cure for a fussy baby is rest for the mamma. be happy or become happy, which starts with forgiveness. know myself and know my children and help them know themselves. learn to be. start by noticing a moment you are alone with a child, and completely focus your attention on them as long as the moment lasts. believe we are all doing the best we can and learn how to live assertively with it. know that we can change our minds about what we are doing at any time by following our hearts.

so there, once again more than i'll daresay to some irl friends on the subject.


----------



## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

Casina,

Thank you so much for taking the time to share all of that with us. It was beautiful and timely and oh so true. I have been figuring out some of that on my own, but the way you put it I feel like I now have the whole picture. Thank you. I for one am sick of parenting without a village. I think that we should start our own.

You are so right about a cure for a fussy baby is a rested mama.... I was reminded once again the other night how my emotions affect dd so strongly. And the differences in the sexes - very interesting.










~~~~~








s to all the mamas going through hard times...

Good Luck lilmissmama - what an adventure!







We will miss you here, so do try to check in when you can.


----------



## kerc (May 9, 2002)

Quote:

the cure for a fussy baby is rest for the mamma. be happy or become happy, which starts with forgiveness. know myself and know my children and help them know themselves. learn to be. start by noticing a moment you are alone with a child, and completely focus your attention on them as long as the moment lasts. believe we are all doing the best we can and learn how to live assertively with it. know that we can change our minds about what we are doing at any time by following our hearts.










I am printing this casina. I think you have really hit upon my philosophy of parenting here.

and when I read your post the one thing that kept coming to mind is that it does take a village to raise a child, but...
I think the village is mostly for the parents -- meaning that without support parents cannot do a good job nourishing little minds and bodies and spirits.


----------



## kerc (May 9, 2002)

and because i didn't want it to be in the same post.

on men, growing up and whatnot.

I do think that men/boys/whatever are behind in being mature. But I wonder if women are forced to grow up sooner. Specifically with regards to parenting: I mean for us the baby is real so much sooner than it is for men. We can feel it before, we know baby's routines, we nourish that baby. BF babies really aren't interested in anyone but mama for soooo long that dad's are really not forced to confront the reality that another person is so intimately connected to them. So moms take the lead and then it is hard to get out of that rut. I'm not suggesting that dad should always be in charge, just in the hierarchy of life we develop patterns and it is hard to break free of that pattern.


----------



## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kerc*









I am printing this casina. I think you have really hit upon my philosophy of parenting here.

and when I read your post the one thing that kept coming to mind is that it does take a village to raise a child, but...
I think the village is mostly for the parents -- meaning that without support parents cannot do a good job nourishing little minds and bodies and spirits.









. Me too. Mama Jazza, I've been thinking about your post about staying with your mom right now and how wonderful that has been for you. I have to admit, I've been a bit jealous. I do wish my mom was that supportive and involved. I'm so happy for you that she is there to help you now and will be there for the birth of your new baby. The village is definetley for us parents primarily, but I think the kiddos would benefit (or in MamaJaza's case, do benefit) from all the love of the people around them.

Okay, I'm going to stop rambling now....


----------



## *solsticemama* (Feb 8, 2003)

Casina I have read thru your post and like what you've written. What you are talking about goes beyond mothering, really. It speaks to the unconscious patterns we are/I am being moved from. My embodiment of 'the mother' is an aspect of shedding light on those shadows. My child is providing me with the opportunity for liberation. And no, liberation is not too strong a word to use when you think of how instinctive and blind one's reactions are.

I've just read a wonderful article and it has deeply shifted my language around ds. It talks about the use of praise as being simply another form of judgement. I started to look at how often I praise ds, more specifically how often I am qualifying his behaviour with a) my own experience and b) a judgement that really has nothing to do with the situation except that it's my own conditioning arising. I didn't realize how frequently I was cultivating the judgemental mind. I've started to simply keep quiet when he does something that I think is adorable/intelligent/'good' or else just name what he is doing with interest. This is suprisingly hard, 'very good' just trips off my tongue thruout the day. But when I remove the qualifier 'good' I have also removed the qualifier that lies behind it which, of course is 'bad' and ds's behavior ceases to be about good or bad, my mothering ceases to be about good or bad, as does my sense of self. Good or bad become irrelevant on a certain level. This is a lovely feeling.

When I feel spacious I remember that becoming a mom started with my body becoming an accomodation for another being. And that's how I continue to try and see being a mom--at it's deepest level I am an accomodation, a spaciousness for another being to unfold and grow.

I still wanna know what color you painted your wall, casina


----------



## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

Solsticemama you have such a lovely way with words. I love the way these posts today are making me think and feel. I would be interested in knowing more about the article you read. Could you let me know where I could find it?


----------



## Mona (May 22, 2003)

solsticemama- i agree. i read that article awile back, maybe at http://www.naturalchild.org/home/ ?
i love jan hunt, and her group. she speaks to my heart. this concept is also deeply addressed in The Continuum Concept.


----------



## *solsticemama* (Feb 8, 2003)

Thanks punk







Actually the article is here tho the site you posted looks like an interesting one, Mona.

I just re-read my post and wanted to add that ds's freedom is not separate from mine nor mine from his, akin to what was said about the interplay between fussy baby needing a relaxed mama. We are breathing and being breathed by each other. Casina, what you suggests requires bravery. This morning at the playground I listened to 2 parents direct the responses of their children, one having just hit the other. Apologies were placed in the mouth of the hitter by the parent of the hitter and thank-yous were placed in the mouth of the hittee. It had nothing to do with the children, who were both too young to be aware of social convention, control of emotion/body but I could hear the almost desperation on the parents' part to smoothe the whole interaction into comfortable homogeneity and felt my own inner parent wanting to do the same. So courage mothers!


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

i don't know about bravery. i am driven to parent this way. it started as a desire to find out what my parents did that harmed me and find the alternative course. i have an unusual eldest child that requires it or be squashed and miserable otherwise. it is very hard for me. today i had to come and read my own durned post. i'm sure a video of my family would be shockingly different from what i describe when i write.

the hardest is that it is in many ways exactly the opposite of the way i was raised. so i have had to let go of control and change my perceptions. most bumpling into me and pushing me do not register as violence anymore, unless i am exhausted. but just that takes practice practice practice. my parents only touched us to hit us. i have no memory of being cuddled or even sitting close to them.
the second hardest is that it deeply affects my sociability. i thought i was picky about who i was friends with: well now i have to find compatability with a mamma and all her kids with all my kids. what triggered me to rethink what i was doing is because i was spending mondays with a lovely lady with same age spirited children but opposite sexes. one day reed raged and screamed that he had to be first, that the kids should all do what he said and ran at her daughter and hit her. the daughter was not intimidated, and just asked what was wrong. but the mamma, who i still love, and we parted on a peaceful note, is now not so accepting of reed. she did not say so but that is the feeling i get. and i don't blame her, i have gone through the same thing she has. and he can smell that fear a mile away, and preys on that weakness. so my mondays are out, until he's seven probably. my dealings in public, with strangers, family and even really good friends that parent the same are significantly altered because we are respecting our childrens limits.

i find talking overrated, and the praise issue is a good example. i'm also ideally not in favor of enforced manners or sharing. my kids know that when i rub their hair that it is love unconditionally, not talking to make them do something i want. i'm also working on my facial expressions and my stillness since i've been bred to react. like earlier clay threw a hard object across the room near ruby and there was no harm done. i'm sure i made a face and i got a little nervous, but it was better than yelling and panicking, which sometimes they just soak up and use to begin acting crazy and throwing even more.
like i said, i feel i HAVE TO parent this way. it is the only way i can live with myself. i have watched other people decide to ap parent and homeschool because they believe in it ideally when they have more tractable kids, and of course the kids benefit. but for me there is no other option, this is the way things are.

as for the village, this is why i strongly encourage finding potential friends now. it is before the kids get to the age where they will complain that you are talking to someone else, and other mammas can get to know and like your children in this adorable age. i have three good friends (and yesterday i emailed them to thank them for existing) that have talked about cohousing and even looked at some land, but i think in the end it is the dads and economics that keep us from doing it, at least trying it. hey, some of them are already kings in their castles. i know that the state of single parenting is going to affect the upcoming generations' sex relations for the better.....

these past few days i have had much to say.....once again my kids help me stay in balance.

i have a room that is a chocolate suede. after i did it years ago i find that there is not enough light in the room to have such a dark color though i love the coziness of it sometimes. so i painted a fuzzy edged rectangle, like a built in canvas, of broadspectrum white. i have some giant rubber circles and circle cutouts that i got out of a dumpster last week across from reed's kung fu that i plan to place a design on the area, though i haven't figured out how. yes, i fished in a dumpster standing midair with ruby in the sling in the rain. so this will confirm i am crazy, if my parenting philosophy doesn't


----------



## XmasEve (Jun 18, 2002)

hello.
just wanted to say that tho I am gone (time constraints), I have not forgotten you all

looks as tho I have been missing lots of great stuff and that makes me sad, but dd brings me another book to read her and that makes me happy


----------



## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

Right on casina for dumpster-diving!! My bro does it all the time, and we eat a lot of the stuff that he finds (like 3 friggen cases of soymilk, just a month "past due"!!) I don't like to actually get in there tho.

I've been recently dreaming of painting my space. Every room in this house is either a shade of pink or peach.:yuck My mom got a good deal on the paint like what, 10 years ago! I'd like to paint a nice warm butter yellow and a nice beigish color.

I also had the thought casina that you were a buddist monk in your past life. And you've re-incarnated as a woman to experience being a mother. Just a feeling, I'm not claiming to be psycic or something. The things that you say are just so deep.

I was also thinking about the idea of "no praise" and I wonder how you get the baby to potty train for example. I talked to my mom about this and she doesn't seem to think that it's really that easy to do in this negative, cynacle(sp?) world. She seems to think that we need the posative to balance the negative, and in an ideal world we would be able to do "no praise".

I actually can't remamber getting much praise during childhood unless it was to do with something I did artsy(I was the artsy kid), or in cards for my birthday.

The thing that I realized today is that I don't live in a little bubble zone where I can parent the way I want to. My mother has a lot of time with haeven and she doesn't parent the same way I do, though she is a grama, but it's like she is in the position of other parent because my partner is not here. And I can't tell her I don't want her to say that or do that with haeven because she takes it hard (defensively) and the fact that she is the grama. *Sigh* so you see there is an upside to living just with your partner (or by yourself) because you have the say in how they are talked to and raised.

My mom was very lenient with me. She's really quite "cool". But some of the things that she does that bug me is doing little power trips sometimes, like not letting her have something just because it's not a toy, but she's not going to hurt herself... etc.... of course it's not like this all the time, and I have my "problems" too.


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

well, i did paint some rooms with kids two years ago. it can be done. i did the trim with a brush and then used a power roller. it is not "powered" it is a thirty dollar heavy ol thing with parts to clean out everytime, but you can put a quart of paint in the plunger and paint at least two walls with no open can or tray of paint for the kids to get into. i have a collection of oops, generally five or eightdollars a gallon, and use any craft paint i get on sale or not to alter the color to what i want. i have never had luck in choosing the right color even with a swatch so i just wing it and do alot of mixing.
i'm about to have to dig up everything and finish damen's studio, do some priming and sheetrock mud. he's been wanting his own cave since....he was born. so it will contribute to everyone's sanity the sooner i get it done....

mamajaza and mamafern, i don't know your brother, elwynn's daddy. actions can be inappropriate, but not necessarily indicative of age. and sadly a common state of men and women in these times in the states, where we have an expectation of having a daddy around and they do not share that expectation. having said that, i have a belief in that things happen the way they happen. and that we cannot control anyone but ourselves. so i'm putting my energy into things being wonderful as single mothers for you, and lilmissmama, and zaxmama. i have watched more than a few men bail at different times, and for some reason this is one of the ages of children that i've seen this happen three different times. i want you to know that whatever happens, that the relationship with the mother is everything to the child, and especially at this age and obviously for awhile, since reed needs me so much and everyone tells me to wait til he becomes more a child at seven.....we are going to be mothers until we die. it will be how you make of it. those who help you, they are not the mother and the kids know it, though it will definitely benefit your kids to know other people. i believe in the social needs of humans. your kids may have some different patterns from the quantity hours of who they are with, but their bond with you is unmistakable, and in the end it will be you that sets the tone of how things are for your kids, as long as you are present daily. (there are even dire situations i've observed where the mother is selfish and negligent and still i believe that the kids need their mother, that she needs help in order to help the kids, i'd just rather not friends with those situations right now....) i guess i've just been thinking about you single mammas lately......


----------



## *solsticemama* (Feb 8, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *casina*
i am driven to parent this way. it started as a desire to find out what my parents did that harmed me and find the alternative course.

This is, at its depth, an act of bravery IMO.

*Mamajaza*, I agree, casina is our resident 'wise woman'

XmasEve I was beginning to wonder if we'd hear from you again. Glad to have you back, if briefly.

Today has been so so. I got a bad haircut and my ego is sufficiently engaged to be bothered by the way it looks. Irritatingly, this superficial occurrence has me questioning my worth as a mom, woman, decent human being etc. Ugh some days are just like walking thru molasses in terms of being interested, engaged, present and awake. Hormones maybe. Anyone else still not have their first pp moon?


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

i'm laughing. i consider you, solsticemama, the resident wise woman. you seem able to breathe life deeply, and i envy your ability to have attention to the moment.

i have no advice on hair. i've grown fond of my practical shave after two years. it reminds me when i look in the mirror that i'm a nonconformist, in some ways makes it easier for me with strangers since they already expect me to be strange. and i have no worries about my feminimity since i am surrounded by children and nursing babes. and i do get asked if i'm a buddhist monk, which is even funnier as i am yelling at my kids or loading groceries as i nurse. my perception of a buddhist monk, aside from sand pictures and throat singing, which me and dh have worked on doing on and off, is largely my paternal grandmother, who joined the temple long ago to get away from watching grandchildren and have the freedom to smoke lots of cigarettes. she thought my haircut was hideous, and hers is cut to the scalp.

i'm starting my fourth moon, which is shaky on when they come. this one tried to start twice already and this baffles me, that i could hold on to a cushiony lining for so long. so the hormones are wacky to say the least. i guess it got my words flowing.


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

okay, i put a picture i just took of my wall, my no cost modern art with paint and rubber. i just picked some pieces and started gluing. i think it took less than one hours work, though i needed prodding anyway to get it done. it's on the last page of my photo link.
so does anyone see what i see? i wonder if dh will notice it.


----------



## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

nice work casina. Now I'm off to do some henna on my belly. Feeling artsy too.


----------



## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

Should we take a guess as to what you see?







How about 3 kiddos and 1 in the belly!?


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

yes, that is it.


----------



## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

You're pregnant?! That's what I saw too in your painting, but I didn't want to say.


----------



## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

OMG! CONGRATULATIONS!!! (I'm soooo dense! :LOL) Details mama...details!


----------



## *solsticemama* (Feb 8, 2003)

Well, I'm thinking aspiration not manifestation re casina's pic/one in the belly.

MamaJ how'd the belly henna come out?

Rynna hasn't posted in awhile. I'm not gonna ask where she's at. All of a sudden there is an image of her retreating to a cave, bear-like. So I will give this image its due respect. I can remember how I appreciated the spaciousness people accorded me towards the end of my pregnancy.


----------



## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

Well, I think the mendhi turned out good for my first time. I'd like to make it more detailed though, not so chunky-looking.


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

no way. i've got an iud this time and i'm flowing. though this would be the time i would get pg again, seeing the spacing with the others.....since the only one planned was reed. if we beat the iud, it is meant to happen. we always imagined four year spacing, and we have the knock down fertility that other people are envious of that we find ridiculous. though i already could see my next little girl's face when ruby was born.


----------



## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

casina--how do you like the iud? that is the method i am considering when the time comes. i don't want to do anything with hormones.


----------



## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...8&page=1&pp=20

There's a big thread about IUDs here. I posted there, too. I got the Paragard about 3 months after Owen was born. I was constantly worried about getting pg with the damned thing! I know, the chances are low, but still...if there's a failure rate, with my luck, it'd be me to have that happen, kwim? I don't know...I guess it was fine while I had it in, but I had it removed only 8 months later because I we started TTC. It wasn't covered by my insurance (didn't know that when I had it put in). It cost me $500 to get it and $200 to take it out! Expensive birth control!







Anyway...it didn't cause me problems or anything--I think mostly it was just my own head that was making me dislike it. I just am not comfortable with anything that *may* have side effects--especially with all my infertility issues as it is.


----------



## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

Thanks Brayg
I have read threads on here before about the iud. I guess i thought i'd get casina's opinion b/c i feel like i know you all on this thread a little better than most other posters. However it is probably just something i need to try for myself.


----------



## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

I attended the first ever Phoenix Birth Circle meeting last night. It was awesome. Lots of mamas- pregnant, nursing, remembering their pregnancy/labors/births. Zachary played with an 8 month old girl and called her "Nanna" all night







(she did kinda look like Julianna). I got to talk to a few other mamas who have experienced preterm labor with previous pregnancies, and are now doing hypnotherapy and relaxation techniques to avoid contractions and medical intervention. I feel very relieved. Relieved that I now have a circle of friends who can support me and validate my decisions with the next pregnancy. One midwife even suggested that my doctors shouldn't even have prescribed Terbutaline because I was only contracting with no cervical dilation- while the textbook definition of preterm labor is a pattern of contractions with cervical change. So I feel like I subjected Zachary to those drugs when they may not even have been necessary!







And another mama said she experienced the same Braxton Hicks-like contractions from 20 weeks on in her pregnancy, and some people just do that. No one can explain it, or stop it, and it certainly doesn't require drug treatment, bed rest, or stressing the mama out! I am SO happy to be a part of this circle. I feel much better about getting pregnant again. (I know it won't be for awhile yet, but at least I have more natural options and genuine support for when the time comes.) And, it was nice to meet some IRL friends who didn't get crazy when Zachary walked up to me asking for "bobby? bobby?"







They all cooed and awed and said "how cute!"


----------



## Mona (May 22, 2003)

that is wonderful December sun!!!


----------



## *solsticemama* (Feb 8, 2003)

DecemberSun, this is very encouraging. I'm glad you've found a supportive group of mamas and an affirming atmosphere to be with your ds in. Please share more of your experience with them as you go.


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

yes, with each progressive pg, i would have more and more braxton hicks earlier and earlier, definitely as early as twenty weeks. i never even doubted them. i just assumed my body needed exercise.
wish i could find parenting as easy as carrying and birthing.

today has been a big mess so i had a beer. better than narcotics or psychotropics. reed injured his foot last night. not bad enough to warrant stitches imo but almost. ruby had fever all day. clay is just feisty. me and dh keep having miscommunication, much because he is most verbal than me. i need things written down to remember, like his schedule. other things are piling up, like my list of sewing commitments and my house falling apart.

anyway i wrote a loaded response to the iud question yesterday and my mouse erased it so i wrote a short one and it disappeared again. so here i will try. it makes me bleed and cramp like a teenager. it is weird that i have a foreign object in me to keep away creation of life. i find it usually not noticeable whatsoever until my af. i consider it dependable, and dh has already agreed that if we get pregnant it was meant to happen. for some reason i'm not worried about the combination, i just assume by body will just expel it if it's tired of it. i do not feel it is one hundred percent my decision to have it, even though i offered to get it for peace and harmony. maybe what i mean is that i don't feel i have the one hundred percent right to get rid of it, and i'm sure i will want to before the ten years are up. my sex and reproductive life are the most immature issues in my marriage, and my thoughts about the iud are kind of weird. like i have two treasured unplanned children and now there's a wall. now i'm glad i didn't have the total responsibility for making that sort of decision.

so anyway, for you, lil miss mama, i think it would be a good thing, and if you are lucky enough to not be a heavy bleeder to start, then it will be no big deal. generally i figure any inconvenience of it is worth the assurance. i've bled plenty before and i always make more blood. though my two cents would be to keep it a secret for yourself. make the man wear a condom.


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

something i was just telling my dh about. today in walmart at some point i thought, what the heck is all that noise? which is significant since i've been told often i have the noisiest family and i'm usually too involved to notice other shoppers in fact i run my cart into people often. so i spotted a parade of three shopping carts. 1st, mom carrying a humongous diaper bag with an infant seat in the front. 2nd, dad with a big ol toddler cart with twin boys around under 3 y in front with infant seat inside the buggy. 3rd, a grandmother with and infant seat in the front. they were one set of twins and one set of triplets! ALL BOYS. five children in two pregnancies!


----------



## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

--me, with a set of twins and triplets!


----------



## Mona (May 22, 2003)

the dime came out today!!!

WOOT!!!!!!


----------



## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

How many days was that Mona? I'm glad things worked out alright lol!


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

is that the kind of thing a mamma saves as a souvenir?


----------



## Mona (May 22, 2003)

:LOL my dh asked me if i threw it out...
no way. keeping it.








:


----------



## *solsticemama* (Feb 8, 2003)

:

I'm off to attend my SIL's birthingway with ds today. We'll be giving her a sling. I'm also slated to attend the birth late next month. In the meantime departure day for Europe is on Tuesday so I'll be busier than usual tho the image of 5 boys under 3 is keeping things in perspective :LOL.

lilmiss's mama I'm thinking today is moving day for you. Blessings on a smooth transition.


----------



## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

Good-bye for now!

Because it is hard to pack with 2 babes and we had to make the rounds to the relatives we are leaving Monday instead of Sunday.
I'm sure there will be pages and pages to read by the time I get back to our thread! I'm thinking probably this time next week we'll be checking in. Take Care everyone and safe travels to you as well *solsticemama*


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

i'll be thinking about both of you as you travel. sending positive vibes.
much love,
casina


----------



## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Well, we went to the wedding Friday night and DS was calm and good, and went to sleep for my brother and his wife without a hitch! The wedding was beautiful- out under the sky, in the sun, daisies everywhere. It was very nice to have some time alone with DH, sort of like a date paid for by the bride's parents LOL. But I could have kicked myself, there were kids all over the plave that DS could've played with. But again, I think I needed to leave him home so we could celebrate the wedding and enjoy ourselves to the fullest. A few of the bridesmaids and I took a glass of champagne and waded in the man-made beach they had at the country club. Sand feels funny through pantyhose :LOL

I'm feeling better about leaving DS with his "sitter" when we go to the Heart concert in August. We're taking him to The Dead on the 22nd- it's an outside concert and should be wonderful! Hot, but wonderful. Can't wait!

Julianna and Zachary get along for the most part when they're playing, but Julianna has started hitting A LOT, and now pulling hair and pushing. Those are things she must be dredging up from her instincts, because we certainly haven't "taught" her that behavior. I just tell her not to, that it's not nice, but I pretty much leave them alone. I'm sure if I get too involved, I'll go crazy constantly yelling at them, and they'll start to do it for attention. They don't hit other kids, just each other!







Also, Zach has started climbing onto the coffee table everytime we turn around, and emptying the Legos to stand on top of the big box. What fun!!! He's trying to learn out/in, off/on, down/up, etc. He knows them when you say them to him (like, "it's under the table), but he has trouble when he's talking. He says out for down, on for in, etc. It's cool when he gets it right on his own though. They learn so much so quickly!!!


----------



## *solsticemama* (Feb 8, 2003)

Thanks mamas. We're mostly packed but still have the usual last minute details to take care of. Just wanted to wish everyone blessings over the next few weeks, particularly our pregnant mamas. I'll be thinking of you.








Rose


----------



## Mona (May 22, 2003)

HAve a wonderful trip mama!!!








and







s


----------



## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

I'll really miss talking to you, Solsticemama. Hope you and your family have a great time!


----------



## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

Have fun Rose! We'll miss you!


----------



## rebx (Mar 18, 2003)

Hi mamas! I've been away for so long, I've got a lot of catching up to do...I've been missing MDC, but the combination of extremely slow dial-up connection and very quick DD made it pretty much impossible to do anything internet related. DSL just came to our new neighborhood, so I'm hoping I'll be able to join in again. Off to catch up on what's been happening over the past 4 months...


----------



## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Welcome back rebx and Ava!!!


----------



## Mona (May 22, 2003)

lilyka- where are you these days?

lilmiss'mama- good luck on your move. i'll miss your posts here and other places.


----------



## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

Welcome back Rebecca!! Since we got high speed internet, I'm much more able to get things done online than when we had dialup. It was soooo hard for frugal me to spend that much per month, but I justify it by the fact that it's faster to list things on ebay! :LOL


----------



## cj'smommy (Aug 14, 2003)

Hi mama's! Can I join in? My DS was born on 12/02/02. I spend most of my computer time in the diapering forum, but I do venture out of there now and then.

I'm Amy, a SAHM to my ever energetic and independent almost 19 month old. Throw my 3 yr. old lab (who still thinks he's a pup) into the mix and it gets quite interesting around here, they're quit a pair.

Anyway, looking forward to getting to know all of you!


----------



## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

Hi Amy! Welcome!

My info is in my siggy (I put a new pic in there too), so I won't retype all that.


----------



## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Hi Amy. My son Zachary was born a day after your son. I also have a 15 mo. old foster daughter named Julianna, and a 7 yr. old foster daughter named Crystal. We have 2 Schnauzers







: , one of whom is pregant







right now, so we're pretty busy here too! Glad you joined in...


----------



## kerc (May 9, 2002)

whew. it's been a busy week and I've been surfing MDC but for whatever reason haven't made it over here.

leah i was thinking about you this morning.







I'm reading white oleander (you know the oprah book club book, sorry dunno author). Anyhow the story is from the point of view of a preteen who's got a single mom who is in jail. the kid gets bounced from bad situation to worse in foster homes. And each time they describe these foster homes I just want to curl p and cry. So at least one of the homes is in the dessert (the other link to you). I just spent a little bit of time thinking and celebrating that there were people like you and dh who open not only your homes, but your hearts to those kids. And I don't think we as a society say it often enough, Thank you!

gotta run more later.


----------



## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Thanks, Kristin. I like to hear that sometimes. Especially after the morning we've had today. Two headstrong toddlers throwing tantrums, and screaming, and fighting. Julianna looks right at me when I tell her "no" and does it anyway, like "HA HA! You're not the boss of me!". Fun times, man, let me tell you!


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

what's tricky is knowing the balance of where my help is needed or not. if hter are too far gone they are not able to assimilate any information i give them to help them, and won't remember all the chaos anyway. and then i'm in the middle of the situation, where they are reacting to ME. so i'm learning to withdraw. yesterday i ended yelling after a series of crazy things. they had clogged the bathroom sink. the bathtub was full and clay was in it with the cleanest clothes i could find to get to a wake. they are of course shrieking loudly. my shoes were in there (why i have waterproof birkenstock flip flops only....) an entire cardboard box, you name it. about a gallon of water scattered around the house. these are things they are not really supposed to do but i can't live life getting mad about all the times. the blankets are off the bed and wet all over the house. they are running into ruby she is yelling. where was i? trying to find decent clothing for me and reed for the wake. well clay ran outside and saw a package on the ledge by the mail and brought it in. i found the wrapper torn and the contents in a pile. that's when i started yelling. it was an expensive electro stim machine we had been provided with that my husband was returning. the package that company sent would pay for postage when it arrived. of course it will be fine, i will just have to call the company and ask for another shipping package.......so i hope this helps you feel better, december sun. and yes, when i explained that ripping the package and not reporting it to me was inappropriate, they just had a gleam in their eyes. clay threatened to kill me and laughed. he's three. he doesn't even know what that means, though we were going to a wake.....


----------



## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

casina, i love your posts. they keep me sane. i cant explain it exactly, it seems i have no talent for writing now that i have dd, but i wanted to thank you. your words (and those of other mamas here, it's just your post is the most recent example) have touched me more than i will ever be able to say. you mamas here are helping me to be a better mama _every single day._
























P.S. Casina, I hope your day got better.


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

where is everyone, is universe a little crazy these days? none of my irl friends are calling or emailing either, and my dh is gone overnight. my day yesterday got better, though for weird reasons. the wake was for a 17 boy with muscular dystrophy in my homeschool group who had had died suddenly. on the way there i found out via cell phone that my sil miscarried. so after it i did some nonstructured things with the kids that they loved for a few hours, like walking around empty downtown kicking rocks and putting our feet in a public fountain and listening to the roar of the water. my life is insane, yet precious.

now back to the mundane, my home is a wreck. i would have never believed before kids that i would aspire to cleaning in my free time.


----------



## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Sounds like you've been through a lot recently, casina. We've been busy lately, too... Busy and lazy at the same time, so nothing important (around the house) gets done. Today we all layed around and I even took an hour-long nap. It was pretty nice, even though I got a rude awakening by DS forcefully latching on, and then performing gymnastics on my chest.

Believe it or not, I actually enjoyed cleaning my house before I had kids. I loved cleaning everything up, then lighting an incense and sitting back to enjoy the finished product- cleanliness, everything in it's place, no clutter, no dust, chi flowing freely... Ah, the good old days. Now I vacuum only when I can't stand all the crunching of crackers on the carpet anymore, and I never scour the bathtub, and there is clutter EVERYWHERE. I once read a refrigerator magnet that said "Dull women have immaculate households."







I like that, it makes me feel a little better...


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

hey, it means you played with and helped your kids instead of ignoring them and cleaning.


----------



## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

December Sun, I know exactly what you mean. I was thinking about that very thing today as I finally got around to cleaning the ink from dd's scribbling off of the kitchen cabinets and window sill (thanks a million for the mr clean thingamajig advice Lilyka) and I was thinking man, I don't even remember the last time I dusted or scrubbed the shower.... those used to be weekly things for me. sigh.

But it is just way more fun to go play in the water hose









Casina, your post made me smile, because dh and I did those very same things when we were there. Except the putting our feet in the fountains. We would have, but it wasn't hot just yet and we were too excited being our first vacation and all.

Life here has been crazy, ive been sick sick sick, the a/c was out for a few days so we had to pack up and stay with a friend of our mil whose house has way too many stairs and breakable crap everywhere, mil is coming in next week to stay for six weeks, hence my mad attempts at cleaning lately....

but i did say screw it this afternoon, dd and i got out the hose, made some mud and splashed around. It was great.


----------



## XmasEve (Jun 18, 2002)

You know, most of the time I do lurk here and read about all of your lives... you all mean very much to me... I don't know why I don't make the investment in time to type little words into this screen to thank you for being here, making me feel... better. I guess I'm afraid I will noticeably fall behind and that will be another thing I cannot juggle successfully as a mother. But please know that there is someone out there in the world, silenty rooting for you.

I am a neat freak and dd is becoming one. It spells disaster for our future together. I put the toys away just so, XYZ, and she carefully rearranges them, YZX. I need to constantly remind myself that she is the young one and that makes it my job to adjust my reaction to the situation. I also have to remind myself of that when it comes to food. She takes 2 bites of something and wants something else-- about 28 times a day. When she comes to me and says she's hungry, I offer A? B? C? G? K? L? Head shake no, no, no, then yes, takes 2 bites and no again. I need to stop thinking of this as a rejection of me. She is just exploring her world, one nibble at a time.

It is the most adorable and frustrating thing that she still doesn't use words. When we prompt "can you say...?" She nods her head yes and doesn't make a sound. I truly believe she COULD say...? but chooses not to. At IRL playgroup last week all the toddlers sat around counting rocks into egg cartons at the park. A tiny chorus of "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8" and dd was silent. But she LOVES numbers. She has a set of number tiles and loves to jumble them up and then put them in proper order like a puzzle. If I pick up any number and ask what comes next, she can hand me the appropriate number.

SIGH. I guess I'm just bragging so that I will stop worrying. What's the use in worrying? She's happy and healthy. One day when she's two she'll wake up and say "I would like a blueberry muffin for breakfast," and that will be that. (And then she'll count out the blueberries to boot







)


----------



## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Zach is talking, but he's not counting, so I hope that makes you feel better.


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

part of the reason i stick with this group is to remind me that i have a baby. sometimes i have to look at photos of my kids just to see how small they are. their presence is much larger in life. they have a lifetime to read and count and clean. this is that wonderful ambiguous time that they can discover freely. they dance with no reserve.

i'm at the opposite with the cleaning. i have to get my house organized because my kids would benefit and are ready to help keep it up....or at least would understand where to find some things. so i'm running behind. i don't want to raise more slobs and packrats like me and dh. it's pretty hard with all their water sand and rice experimetns everywhere.....


----------



## Mona (May 22, 2003)

hi mamas!

we've been very busy these days- playing in the water, in the dirt, with the rocks, ect outside. it takes away from my mdc time.









xmas eve- my dd is pretty non verbal too. she does say some things, and has started to more in the last couple weeks. mostly she has her own language. i too think she could speak more if she wanted to. i really wish she wanted to, because the "ehhh" "ehhhh" noise really grates on me sometimes- this is the noise she makes when she wants something. i have to guess what it is.







and get it to her before she melts.







:


----------



## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

Hiya mamas. Just popping in to say hi. I'll have to come back and read more later. We've been busy 'round here lately too.


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

i expect alot from ruby. more than i should, perhaps because she is a girl. perhaps simply because she is who she is. she can assess situations and do things that my boys don't do, and i sometimes i feel i desperately need the help.

so i decree and remind myself that we should enjoy our babies. they have been in this world for only over one year.

talking is really cool and extra cute but is not an exact science. it does not guarantee understanding. it does not guarantee that we know what we want exactly. the exact word they say does not always mean the same as what the word has become for adults. sometimes it adds complexity to the frustrations especially when we try to talk about situations that demand action. many times i wish there was less talking around here. i wonder what it will be like when my kids can think in their head instead of saying everything aloud...around seven or eight it is said. i'm sure it will perplex me then. but then, my people reading abilities have jumped since i became a mamma.
i'm just saying, for y'all with first ones, they will fill your life with the soundtrack of their voice soon. and when they do, it will be an unstoppable force for quite awhile. it will introduce another facet of parenting you are blissfully not having to do yet, which is haggling with words and dealing with your wills in the endless possibilities of words. it changes from a physical game to more of a mental game. i guarantee they will test your intelligence and fortitude such is the nature of a child. it is a wonderful part of my life that has many rewards, but really, i promise it will come, and for now, ENJOY YOUR BABIES!


----------



## cj'smommy (Aug 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *casina*
sometimes i have to look at photos of my kids just to see how small they are. their presence is much larger in life.









sometimes I forget this too.

Connor is just starting to say things, a lot of it only his daddy and I can understand but he's finally trying. What is nice to see is that he's starting to use words along with the sign language that we taught him.


----------



## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

I love out-witting a child with words. You talk to them literally and logically, and I just love watching those gears clank around in their heads, and then the lightbulb goes on and it's miraculous how they have just LEARNED something because of the word "games" you played with them. I used to just LOVE having conversations with my step-son when he was 3 or 4. They think they know so much, and then you stump them and they have to sit and think for a minute. It's awesome that we shape their minds with how and what we say to them, from day to day. It makes me really try to be a better person for my kids. I need to curb my cursing habit pronto...


----------



## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

I just had to wash the dishes today, as they had been sitting there for days.... and haeven does not let me finish. I finally did get them done, after distracting her to her toys, then, unknown to me, she finds my brand new glasses and twists them all out of shape. I am so angry. I'm poor, and I paid 25$ extra for these glasses because they have titanium in them, but they're not breakproof.







I wish this stage is over with right now!!! And she does not understand when I tell her these are my glasses, I NEED them. She just looks up at me with those big "innocent" eyes. I was sooooo tempted to swat her. but I'm here instead. I just wish she would understand sometimes.







:


----------



## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

Hi! We are back! We made it to Tucson yesterday. Our trip went very well overall.







We spent two days at my grandparents, which the girls really enjoyed. Then we made our way South thru Colorado, NM, and then AZ. We stayed in a little town in NM called Silver City where I used to live and we spent some time in the Gila Wilderness while we were there. When we got into the Mountains Revina said "I smell something" it was the ponderosa pines







They had a great time throwing rocks into the river. It was harder for Scarlett to travel then Revina, b/c it was harder for her to entertain herself. We took a few long stops each day, but by yesterday Scarlett was definetly tired of the car!
I haven't had a chance to read all the posts I have missed, but i am going to try to catch up. Right now we are just staying with a friend until we can find a place, hopefully by the first of July.


----------



## XmasEve (Jun 18, 2002)

Mamajaza, you are a great mama. Those few times, over occasions I can't even recall now, when dd had me seeing red, I felt so awful just to have had the thought of violence. To recognize that, to not follow through with it, and to come to your friends with that honesty speaks volumes about your integrity and the great example you are setting for your dd.

lilmiss'mama, I used to live in NM! Ahh, I miss the Gila...


----------



## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

MamaJaza I have been tempted to swat my dd too. It's really hard not to sometimes, espesially when that was your role model. I'm glad you came here instead. I'm really really sorry about your new glasses. Mine are being held together by hot glue *sigh* so I know what you mean.








Lilmissmama, glad your trip went so well and it's nice to see you here again. NM sounds beautiful and it sounds like your girls like it allready.

XmasEve, I was wondering how the NAET is going with your dd. My sister has severe food allergies and I want to tell my mom more about it. She is 8. Could you tell me more or direct me to some good links? Feel free to PM me if you like. TIA.

Anyone else thinking about eilonwy???


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

lilmiss! so glad to hear from you.

mamajaza.....my kids have showed their personalities by how they have wrecked my glasses (the reason i wear contacts most of the time....) reed would just snap the arms off. clay would break them at the bridge. those are glasses i got from one of the mall places so everytime he found them and broke them (three times? i had to wear the when pg) i would pay forty bucks for new frames that day and put the ol lenses in. i got some snazzy titanium ones in taiwan cos in a country where everyone wears glasses, they are much cheaper. so they were my nice ones. so what ruby did to both pairs (in the week i had pinkeye....), is she twirled the right arm like a lock of hair.

i got really mad at my kids today at walmart and had to leave without what i needed to make dinner (i cook for my mil twice a week for extra money). i know theoretically it is my own fault for not watching my own limits. i know it is not a big deal in the grand scheme. but i was mad at them for the entire afternoon. i wanted to leave them at the store, and i was shaking so bad that i could barely get out my money and count it. i know alot of it is just my weariness with change. my dh is working much more, and was gone most of the weekend. as soon as he reaches forty hours, worker's comp will cut us off and we will have even less money. and he is exhausted and hurts. he's mentioned to me everyday this week how i will need to find some sort of supplemental income. i already know that. i'm just tired. my home is not a haven. the physical balance of my house is marginal. i can't find anything, and it gets exponentially messy, and everything is slightly broken or leaking.

but i'm fostering some superior humans, right?


----------



## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *casina*
but i'm fostering some superior humans, right?









absolutely.
























I'm sorry.

It's days like today, mamajaza and casina, that i do wish we all lived closer.


----------



## Mona (May 22, 2003)

casina- i'm so sorry that you are feeling stressed right now. i hope that something comes to you for money. in the meantime, have you considered ebay? :LOL i have sold lots of stuff there. unfortunately, i'm out of things to sell. but it was helpful while it lasted.







s


----------



## kerc (May 9, 2002)

urgh. money. we're doing money struggles right now. yesterday was a really tough day for me because of that. I just hate living paycheck to paycheck. I know that I am close to getting out of it when I finish this darn degree, but not close enough, KWIM?

lilmiss -- glad your trip went well. it inspired me to try more traveling with dd.

glasses: it doesn't solve absolutely everything, but much of my glasses struggle was solved by buying erin some of her own. We got 2 pair of sunglasses at target for 1.99 (in the summer toys section). So whenever she grabs at my "lasses" I gently remind her she has a pair and might think about going to find them.

how are the pg mamas doing? Is everyone still pregnant?


----------



## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

I'm still pregnant! Wanna see a picture or two?http://www.picturetrail.com/gallery/...92&uid=2143685 We took them yesterday.

Thanks everyone for the understanding about my "glasses" situation. It's hard being poor (in the financial way, exclusively) and all the stresses that come with that.


----------



## XmasEve (Jun 18, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *punkprincessmama*
XmasEve, I was wondering how the NAET is going with your dd. My sister has severe food allergies and I want to tell my mom more about it. She is 8. Could you tell me more or direct me to some good links? Feel free to PM me if you like. TIA.

I LOVE the NAET. Dd does too, she gets all excited to go see _____, the practitioner. (She's becoming a little DOM herself, always massaging my acupressure points!) I think it's done wonders. We still have a long way to go (dd is so allergic to everything that she even reacts to white rice, seriously, even WHITE RICE, oy!), but have come so far. I cringe to think what her life might have been like if I hadn't found this route. My friend has an 8-year-old dd who is severely allergic and every day it's like, "A, don't eat the cheese! I can see your little teeth marks in it, I don't care how good it tastes, it'll make you sick!"

What sold me on it was our doctor of Oriental Medicine. There are books (anything by Dr. Devi Nambudripad) and a website, NAET.com. But I would never have gone for it just reading or looking at those... I would suggest your mom read the book 'Say Goodbye to Illness' and try to find a practitioner in her area just to get your sister tested. And ask around, you'd be surprised how many people have benefitted from it.

The downside is how long it takes, but there is no overnight miracle in anything but conception, right?







And cost. What drives me the extra mile toward crazy with dd is how we've spent literally hundreds of dollars so that she can eat whatever she wants, and all she wants is grapes and peas!

Mamajaza, cute pics. As I spend most of my day rough housing with dd, I have to wonder, how do you protect that belly from a toddler?


----------



## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

How do I protect my belly from my toddler? Well, I don't get myself into situations where my belly could be hurt. And when she is in "that" mood, I don't let her hurt my belly. It's frustrating, because I feel so much motherly protection for this little unborn one, but he's not even "here" yet. Oh well, soon I'll have two babies to love, cuddle, and breastfeed. They will grow up so quickly....

Did anyone see the new pic I put up of haeven and her cousin? It's right below the belly pic. They are so darling!!!!(If I may say so myself) I can't get over how darn cute elwynn is!!! He's my one and only nephew, and I love him like my other child. They are just 3 weeks apart in age, haeven and elwynn!

I just went to the chiropractor. Every time I heard that CRACK sound, I said WOW!!! It feels so good. all aligned and stuff, ready for giving birth soon.


----------



## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

I am still pregnant. I have about 10 weeks to go. Christopher loves to crawl all over my belly which isn't quite pleasant at times. I need to call my Chiropractor. I have a rib head out of place and it hurts when I breathe. Life around here has been busy but we are slowing down. Grant finished Christopher's swing set (he built it from scratch except for the swings, slide, steering wheel, and safety handles) and Christopher loves it! Poor little guy was heartbroken today because he couldn't go outside to play since it was raining buckets. He doesn't quite understand rain yet.


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

mammas, thanks for the support. i'm starting to feel my energy picking back up slowly. and mona, yes i do have some ebaying to do. i have some sewing projects to begin and it's just finding the rhythm to doing it. or a rhythm to doing anything.....

this evening i went to see harry potter with a fellow mamma, just the two of us. it was like a huge vacation.

bellies are protective in themselves. second babies are big reasons to use slings round the clock, like being pregnant on the outside. mamajaza, i'm amazed at how little you appear in the photo. you look beautiful. and i love the picture of haeven and elwynn.

i have babyfever. dumb, i know, i'm intellectually putting it aside since i want to continue the nursing relationships i have now without change. and i would like a year with no one under two or pregnant to get some enterprises started so that there is less of a survival money problem. now is about the time that if i did not have the iud, i would get pregnant again. and i'm confounded by the idea that me and dh would have to 100 percent decide to conceive to get the contraption out. i can see now the beauty of not planning my 2nd and 3rd kids. i've always felt i'd have at least four children but dh is not as keen about the added responsibility. and i'm bizarrely relieved that my sil is no longer pg. we are usually pg at the same time.

rambling,

casina


----------



## XmasEve (Jun 18, 2002)

I'm just going to say it, because it echoes through my head everytime I hear one of you mommas with an IUD bring it up... Every woman that I have ever known irl w/an IUD has gotten pregnant with the damn thing. Just a thought.


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

strangely, i find that funny.


----------



## Mona (May 22, 2003)

i have to second xmas eve- my best friend had an iud. that woman is as ferticle as can be tho.
:LOL

not me. no protection for 4 years, doing it every which way, all the time. :LOL







:


----------



## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

Seeing the chiro was one of the best things I did for myself while pg. I didn't go when I was pg w/Jacob and I was so sore. I went to the chiro the same day as every prenatal appt. and it was awesome! I even went for 2 massages during that time. It was great!









Wow Jasanna--you are such a gorgeous preggo mama! I long for that perfect baby belly, but I'm overweight and will probably never have that. *sigh* Oh well...


----------



## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

I am considering getting an IUD after this baby arrives. But I can't imagine how weird that would be getting pregnant with one in there. I guess I would either have to get the IUD removed, or have an abortion, something that I don't think I could do. I think I am very fertile, but I don't want 6 (or more) kids by the time I am 40.


----------



## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

Christopher is going to give me gray hairs before he is 5 years old. I went to check on him since he was napping, to make sure he was asleep and I found him sleeping on top of his changing table. I am guessing the little monkey climbed up there but I don't know why. I took a picture and then put him back into bed.


----------



## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

OMG Heather! Can you post the pic? Scary, but absolutely adorable! The other day I was talking w/a friend who came over to borrow something. Owen was being really quiet so I went to check on him. Sure enough, he was on the kitchen counter playing with my laptop. I didn't have the camera anywhere close, but I wish I did! It was so cute! And scary! :LOL


----------



## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

It will be a while till I can post the picture since I took it with my Advantix camera. I couldn't find the digital camera. Once I get the film developed, I will scan it and post it. I almost had a heart attack when I found him up there. I wonder what's next.


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

sorry, not funny like haha about getting pg with the iud. i just assumed that body would expel it first. i'm already allergic to metal usually, like i have a weeding band and a necklace that my body have grown used to. it's probably nickel i'm allergic to. but i guess i didn't expect my body to keep this foreign thing. i almost backed out of getting it on the day but decided i would go ahead. it's basically the only way i won't get pg though no matter what our sex life is. even abstinence did not work with clay. my cycle adapted to get ruby and i was nursing clay all day all night, the only thing i could have made it more frequent was to have no shirt on. we decided to have reed and got it on the first try. it was after abstaining for fear of getting pg since i had refused to take the pill most of the year. we were abstaining for clay and must have had sex without knowing it when our ac broke and we were crammed in a different room with the window unit. we have an extremely vague memory of it ever happenning. ruby was on the first attempt at sex too, right after i had my first period. apparently me and dh are meant to breed. i was really flabbergasted with getting pg with ruby since i was nursing so much and cycle was obvious. good nutrition and my body have confounded me.


----------



## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

I feel duped by my body too. I thought I had my cycle pretty "down", but I guess my body wanted me to get pregnant. I didn't conceive either of these babies "by choice". But I'm glad that the universe has brought them to me. I wonder though, if I'd be the kind of person who would get pregnant with an IUD, because I seem to really "hold on" to the embryos, and went overdue with my DD. I think if I got an IUD, I would get a plastic one. I still have to research this though.


----------



## kerc (May 9, 2002)

wow. i've never found erin on the dresser, but fully expect to any day. scary but funny too.


----------



## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Well, casina, I can relate to the anger you felt the other day at Wal-Mart. I just feel like screaming sometimes. Well, actually, I DO scream sometimes!







: Like when one kid is crying loudly, and one kid has just gotten in trouble for hitting the one who's crying, and one kid is digging in a houseplant, and eating the dirt... I have to take multiple deep breaths to calm myself. It gets trying at times, to say the least, but I do love having all these kids around here, LOL. And I've been having baby fever lately too. I have no idea why, because we have a pretty full plate right now with the babies we have, but... I just get all gooey thinking about what the next one will look like, and imagining holding him/her for that magical first time...









We went to The Dead concert last night and it was AWESOME. The weather was perfect (unusually cool for a June night in Phoenix), and the music was beautiful. Greg Allman stood in for Jerry Garcia. Zachary made everyone laugh, walking around clapping and dancing, and giving people "five". He refers to all music as "gee-taw" (guitar). Everyone thinks he's a girl for some reason, though. DH just downloaded some pics so I'll get them up for you to see.

I've been thinking about elionwy, too... Wonderin' how she and EliBean (and NewBean) are doing...

Hope solsticemama is having fun in Europe!


----------



## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

I was wondering how the Dead show was December Sun. Do different people stand in for Jerry during the tour? I am glad you guys had fun.
When we were in Silver City we saw a Flamenco dancer and Revina started clapping and stomping her feet right along.


----------



## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

Christopher loves to dance too. I just wish he had better taste in music. His favorite thing to dance to is William Hung singing "She bang"


----------



## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

That so funny, Heather... That guy is crazy!

Yeah, the concert was great. I'm so sad it's over! :LOL

Oh, and I wanted to add that I knew some hippie-folk in Silver City. They now live in Flagstaff. It's my brother's friend Tavis Schmidt and his g-friend (can't remember her name). Anyway, the town is so small from what I hear, it's a coincidence that you lived there.


----------



## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

mamajaza, your pics are beautiful... just wanted tosay hi and send love to our preggo mamas, we are leaving in a minute to pick up mil so i wont be online as much for a few weeks.

nak


----------



## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

Thank-you!


----------



## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

December Sun-- I think my xdp knows Tavis. It is a small world! If you talk to Tavis mention Christian and Higher Grounds; he might know who you are talking about!

I am trying to think of something new going on with Scarlett, but there isn't much. She is saying some 3 word sentences now and is starting to talk about colors. Most everything is green. Revina did that too for awhile, but she would call things blue. I wonder if they just have a certain color they can remember and use it to initiate conversation about color. YK maybe she doesn't really think everything is green, but wants to know the color of something, so she says green and in return I tell her what the correct color is?.


----------



## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

I know what you mean, Anna. Zach always says everything is red. "Wed bah!" (Red ball) :LOL

Zachary saw a duck on TV in the water, and he shouted out "Mimming!" (swimming). He is talking soooooo much, about everything now. Sometimes he just makes sounds to initiate conversations about stuff, or to show off his knowledge, like making the sound of a motor when he sees a car, or saying "mmm" when he sees someone eating, or yipping like a dog when he sees any kind of animal (he was chasing the birds at the lake, going "doggy! doggy!"







) He also tries to say new words if I am naming something or explaining something. And the cutest thing is when he nods his head yes and says "Mmm Hmm!" in his high-pitched little matter-of-fact way. It is SO adorable! And when he's nursing and I look down and tell him "I love you", he'll do the same thing- nod and hum "Mmm Hmm!"


----------



## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

Christopher is starting talk up a storm. His latest words are go, chicken, and bug. He has really gotten into Blue's Clues lately. I let him watch and episode while showering. Now everytime he comes across a pawprint in a book or on a stuffed animal he says, "Clue Clue!"


----------



## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

DD is showing lots of empathy lately. It blows me away. Last week I was terribly sick. She and I were teh only ones home. I was too weak and too sick to attend to her at all for several hours. She stayed by my side, patting my back, wiping my face with a cool washcloth... it was amazing. The concern she showed towards me.... She pats dh and I when we are coughing, kisses our boo-boos, it's really cool























She seems on the verge of something... the constant nursing and night waking and clinginess are my clues.

I am about worn out from her needs, dh working 16 hour shifts and mil being here...


----------



## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

heather- that's so cute that your DS like Blue's Clues...







Unfortunatley, Zachary has fallen in LOVE with Barney. He still watches the Wiggles a little bit, and the Teletubbies, but mostly he wants "Marmey". They watch a video in the morning when I'm on MDC







:, and they might watch a show in the evening while DH and I are cooking dinner or watching the News. I can't understand why DS picked Barney to be his favorite, but I guess it's fairly benign and he seems to like singing and dancing along- or trying to anyway! :LOL








s to you punkprincessmama... Hope things settle down for you soon. I can relate to the marathon nursing- Zachary has been obsessed with the "bobby" for the last few weeks. I do not see a weaning process anywhere in the near future for this kid!!!


----------



## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

Leah we think the word Barney is evil in this house. I am doing my best to have son avoid Barney because I can't stand that purple dinosaur. I used to work in KayBee Toys and we would play the Barney Christmas video 24/7. No more Barney please!


----------



## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

I've been checking on Rynna on the june due date club, and she has had her baby!! If you want to know more, go to the june due date club... I'll let you all find out the details yourselves


----------



## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

due date club?


----------



## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

Due Date Club is where mommas that have due dates in the same month convene. I am part of the September 2004 Due date club.


----------



## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **Mamajaza**
I've been checking on Rynna on the june due date club, and she has had her baby!! If you want to know more, go to the june due date club... I'll let you all find out the details yourselves









Thanks for letting us know MamaJaza









Rynaa -






















She is beautiful


----------



## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Hello! S. Rivkah was born by emergency c-section last Thursday. To make a long story short, once again I had a suspicion my water had broken, but no actual evidence. All of the tests came back negative until the ultrasound Thursday afternoon, done in anticipation of a possible version (she turned herself around on Teusday). There was no fluid left, she was in a double footling breech position with cord evident between her legs as well as around her neck and over her head. Thankfully, I wasn't having real contractions as even the BH were enough to make her have decelerations. If she had engaged, the cord would either have prolapsed or been sat on; either way she had to come out the hard way. I'm recovering well, and having a hard time dealing with the fact that I just had major surgery and need to relax to recover.. that's so not me! It's also a real bummer that I can't lift Eli right now.







On the other hand, I have a lovely little daughter.














She's a sweetie pie, and she nurses like a champ!

We're hoping to have our computer back tomorrow, Saturday at the latest!







I can't wait to upload all the pictures we have! I've got some great ones of Eli and Rivkah tandem nursing.







He's such a sweet big brother! He's a little bit jealous, but for the most part he's doing really well with everything. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that Mike is home with us/him, helping him adjust. I'm trying to relax, but it's really beyond me at the moment... I'm so wound up and then I'm asleep. :LOL At any rate, I'm really impressed with how Eli is handling big-brotherhood.







Thus far, all is well!


----------



## Mona (May 22, 2003)

yipeeeee and congrats!!!!!









lisa


----------



## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

Rynna she is gorgeous! I have 9 weeks left till my due date. I am curious to find out if this one will be early or late.


----------



## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

Congratulations Rynna! With Jacob, I had an emergency c-section because of cord prolapse.







It's funny how they tell you to rest and to not lift anything over 5 lbs. Yeah right! Take care of yourself when you can though!


----------



## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

Owen still loves The Wiggles. And he likes Sesame Street now ('specially "melmo").









I scored tickets to see the Wiggles in concert in August. I'm so excited! And I also got tickets to Sesame Street Live for the next weekend! :LOL


----------



## kerc (May 9, 2002)

she is just so pretty. yay! take care of yourself mama!


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

yay! congratulations rynna.























you probably wouldn't be able to lift eli after any kind of birth.......i'm glad that the nursing is going well!

punkprincess, sounds like you are worn out from not having any alone time. i'm still feeling weird from my dh working much more and dealing with him feeling grouchy about it. i'm just not as flexible as i would like.

i remembered that i've been to a dead concert, for in the dark their last intact lineup. showing my age here. i remember that i was completely sober, though it was trippy even then since everyone else was not.

i'm getting out of my depression. i think i'm at a point where i know it ends eventually, so i don't get too crazy. i'm sick of the summer heat and mosquitoes. it has an adverse effect on my kids behaviour with them climbing the walls.


----------



## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Rynna, your family is SO BEAUTIFUL! Congratulations to all of you.









Heather, I know what you mean about Barney being annoying. The old episodes are ~HORRIBLE~. The new ones aren't that bad, but it's not like I'm actually WATCHING the show... I totally said I would never let my kid watch Barney, but he just fell in love with it so I can't help it. Zachary has done a lot of things that I said my kids would never do... I have learned that I can not control a separate person, even one as little as my baby. He just is who he is!









Rachel- SCORE on the Wiggles and Sesame tickets! That will be a lot of fun. Make a sign on poster board and hold it up at the Wiggles, and they'll shine a spotlight on you and read it for everyone! Jeff and Murray even walk around to read some, so maybe the kids can shake their hands! Julianna and DH got to meet Jeff, and my mom got to meet Murray, so of course they're SO cool, LOL. Have fun!


----------



## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

thanks on the tip about the sign! I'll definitely make one! (I thought about even sewing Owen a fun costume for it as well--maybe I will...maybe I won't.:LOL)


----------



## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

:








Congratulations Rynna!


----------



## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

Congrats again, Rynna!! I want to ask ya some things, hope you don't mind...
How is BF two going?
What was eli's reaction when he first saw his sister? Did he realize that that was the baby that was in your belly before?

Any advice you could give me? I ask cause our babies are the same age, and you don't have to answer if you don't feel like it.


----------



## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

Whew! What a day. Christopher had his first trip to the ER today. He stood up on our couch and tried to grab onto me and missed and ended up falling and spliting his chin on our coffee table. Five stitches later, he is ok but in some pain. What a way to celebrate my husband's birthday.


----------



## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Oh no! Poor Mama!

We are moving our coffee table into the dining area ASAP, because the kids basically just use it as a huge snack tray and it's dangerous... Zachary loves climbing on it when we're not looking, and he's hit his forehead and his cheek on it just from falling. We're going to convert ours into a litte table for the kids- they can eat at it, do art stuff, or whatever... Ah, the joys of kids!








s, Heather!


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

wow! these are the kind of incidents that make us grow us as mammas. take it easy on yourself and your christopher. so sorry for the ouch and scary!

mamajaza, my kids could not really understand the connection. we can intellectuallize about it. but then, i still find it amazing and weird. maybe if i had see myself giving birth, probably my husband understands it the best. the good news is at this spacing the kids have less of a concept that they have singular noble worth, in theory. the hard part for me was dealing with the interrelation and dynamic since the older one does not have impulse control. the sling i found so beneficial all around when i had more than one, once i could move around. like being pg on the outside. also, i tandem by eventually nursing each kid on their own designated breast. i'm lopsided all the time but i find it simpler, especially since i will wear a sling only on one shoulder. when i had clay i eventually nursed him only on one side. he started out a ten pounder so i never foresee a supply problem.


----------



## XmasEve (Jun 18, 2002)

to Chris and Heather! We haven't had a coffee table in almost a year... I miss it. The couch has caused several abuse-looking owies, but I draw the line somewhere. I'm friends with a lady that says she actually did remove all furniture from her living room when her dc was that age. I can't imagine doing that. It would be like if they had magically removed all the other cars from the road when I was learning to drive. Sure, I wouldn't have had three accidents that first year, but would I have learned anything?


----------



## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

The pediatrician told me that his chin should heal up fine but he will have a scar. He did suggest using Mederma though. I am not worried about the scar. He is a little boy. However I did go to Babies R Us and I purchased a rubber guard for our coffee table. I should of bought it a long time ago!


----------



## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

The other day I called my oldest by her first and middle name; now Scarlett calls her "Reenee Bon" (Revina Yvonne), lol!


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

i'm learning about the loveliness of daughters. or maybe it's just my daughter. earlier i told her she needed to get dressed while i was on the computer and she retrieved a diaper, some shorts and a shirt and climbed up so i could put all the things on and patiently allowed it, and properly putting weight on the chair to put each leg in the holes. my boys are still sort of iffy on that happenning. they have already clued in that she is useful and slave her around, telling her to go get them food and water and shoes and toys and such. it freaks me out.


----------



## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Rivkah's birth story.

Eliyahu is adjusting beautifully to life as a big brother. He made the connection right away between Rivkah in person and the baby who was in my belly, pointing her out and saying "SisterBaby!" in an awe-struck voice. I guess he was more prepared than I expected, because he was thrilled when we finally took her home.

At first he seemed to be a little upset with me, but I think that was because Mike and I were not with him (he spent the weekend with Grandma). When I asked him if he wanted to nurse, he looked at me, and then reached down his grandmother's shirt as if to say "Yes, but not with you, I'm mad at you right now." I asked again and he said "I want Grandma!" and gave me a scathing look. The next day, though, I was able to walk around a little bit and to sit up like a person, so he gave me some hugs and kisses. He even nursed with his sister before we left the hospital.

I guess he needed a bit of decompression time (don't we all?!) after Rivkah was born. Once the four of us got home, we took a day off and just sat around together, and Eli has been fine ever since. He's a little disappointed that I can't carry him like I did before, but that will change soon enough.









The nursing is going extremely well, I couldn't ask for better. Rivkah developed a horrible case of thrush, but thanks to gentian violet it's all gone now. Eli loves to nurse with his sister, and he really helped out when my milk came in.














For now, things are pretty good as far as family dynamics. I'm keeping my eyes peeled for signs of jealousy, but I haven't seen any at all. Eli loves to give his sister kisses and is sometimes a bit over-enthusiastic, but it's all good. For the most part, he is very gentle and loving with her.


----------



## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

I am glad things are going so well for you Rynna!









A note on the jealousy Mamajaza... my oldest dd was 16 months when Scarlett was born and I didn't notice any jealousy either. I wasn't able to pick her up for a few days which was hard, but she was never agressive to S. She saw S. being born and she said right away "baby". Revina also spent a lot of time with grandma and daddy in the first few days. I bet Haeven will do great!


----------



## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

Thanks for replying to my question, rynna, casina, and lilmissmama. I really think Haeven will L-O-V-E her new sibling, because as I speak, she is wheeling her "baby" around in the stroller. It will be sooo interesting to see what her reaction will be. She will probably be saying BABY! for days after he is born. She's really learning to talk now.

One another subject... haeven is learning sign language, without literally NO prompting by me. My mom showed her the sign for eating, and then she did it to me later on in the day when she was hungrey. It is amazing how quickly she picks it up! And also, yesterday, she did the sign for "more" and "food".... WOW... I was impressed, as I have never shown her any signs. I wish I had started that sooner, but will definately teach the new babe many signs.


----------



## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Congratulations again, Rynna. I'm very glad there was a good outcome with the birth, and that you're healing so quickly. I bet you all are enjoying the new little bean!!!

We're in Washington State now. Enjoying the ~cooler~ weather. The kids are adjusting to being in a new place well. The last couple of days we've just been hanging out at the house, unpacking and getting into the groove, and CLEANING. My younger brother is a bachelor, and works full time in construction, so you can imagine what the house looks like...

Hope you all had a wonderful Independence Day!


----------



## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

Hey, I had a wonderful day yesterday, but didn't know it was independance day. :LOL I went to see Farenheit 9/11 the night before. It's quite intense, and I reccomend that all you americans go see it. Micheal Moore needs all the support he can get. What an awesome man! I feel like he is a big fat cherub, here to change things.:LOL


----------



## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

Mamajaza signing is a wonderful thing. We started signing with Christopher when he was 6 months old thinking we wouldn't see a sign from him until he was 9 months old. He surprised us by doing the sign for "milk" at 7 months. We taught him "more", "milk", "eat", and "cookie". We got to the point to where he was signing when he wanted something. In the last two months, he has started saying the word while signing at the same time. It is amazing just watching him put two and two together. I am looking forward as to what he is going to learn next since I found an AP Momma that is doing a mom's morning out/preschool program in her house for him to attend two days a week. She said one of the things she is going to teach the kids is sign language.


----------



## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

wow Rynna! I love reading birth stories. I'm glad everything went well, despite the rocky start. She's beautiful!


----------



## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **Mamajaza**
I went to see Farenheit 9/11 the night before. It's quite intense, and I reccomend that all you americans go see it. Micheal Moore needs all the support he can get. What an awesome man! I feel like he is a big fat cherub, here to change things.:LOL









ITA

I







Michael Moore as well, and can't wait to see the new movie. I have yet to "go" to see a movie since dd's birth, and am hoping to do so while MIL is here. So far though, dd hasn't taken to her very well for a variety of reasons....

Casina, you are right, I have no time for me. This is always my prob. even under the best of circumstances (because my dh works full time and attends school full time) but with MIL here it is much worse. We live in her home (we rent from her for a very reasonable price) and so I really feel the need to ensure her comfort while she is here. I thought I was doing well until a few days ago when she told me how disgusting







my house is (this is mostly because I do not like to use harsh chemicals in my cleaning, I am very sensitive to the fumes and assume dd is too. She thinks if I don't use Pine Sol and Bleach then it's not clean, kwim?) Now I will admit I am not the best house keeper, I could sweep a bit more and have a hard time keeping up with the laundry, but I would NOT say that my house is disgusting..... I just figure that we are only walking on the floor, not eating from it, so it is on the bottom of my list, kwim?







(I do spot clean daily) *SIGH* So anyhow, I have way more on my to do list now.... Only three more weeks only three more weeks









Thanks for letting me vent........

MamaJaza I am thinking of you daily, and sending







to you for the magical birth your heart desires...


----------



## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

Aww, thanks!


----------



## Mona (May 22, 2003)

punkprincessmama- sorry you have to put up w/ the in laws. yuch.
only three more weeks!!!







s


----------



## kerc (May 9, 2002)

hi mamas! I've been kinda absent. But I'm hanging in.

question for ya'll....any thoughts on this?

when we read goodnight moon to erin she always cries at the last page. she's crying and saying "bunny, sob, sleeping, sob." so we figured ok, she's empathetic to bunny sleeping. But then Friday we were at a cookout and she saw a little baby sleeping and was just hysterical. It took about 20 minutes for her to calm down.

she's been sleeping ok, but when she's woken up (early) for the last week or so she's just crying and screaming like she's scared.

I'm looking for ideas on what's going on developmentally and ways to help her deal with it.


----------



## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

Punkprincess--- ughh! I couldn't imagine that much time with my former inlaws in my home. That would drive me nuts and we liked each other too! I have spent 4 weeks at their house though and that didn't seem bad, they weren't invading my space, kwim?

kerc- I don't have any advice, but Scarlett has been going thru a similar thing. She wakes up from a dead sleep screaming like she is having a nightmare or something. Sometimes it happens several times a night. She calms down quickly, but I am not sure what's going on.


----------



## Mona (May 22, 2003)

nak
do a search on "night terrors" - this is what it sounds like it could be.







s


----------



## XmasEve (Jun 18, 2002)

kerc, I have no experience with this, but it certainly sounds like poor Erin is terrified of the state of sleep. I can only imagine because she's had nightmares and associates that terror with sleeping. So she worries for the poor bunny that has to sleep, the poor little baby baby sleeping at the cookout, and herself when early in the morning her sleep cycles are light and she even feels her poor self in the state of sleep. (She sounds like a very empathetic little sweetheart.) All I can suggest doing is hugging her close and trying to communicate to her that everything is all right. I suffered nightmares as a child and the worst thing was having a parent brush off my fears. Let her know that you care for her and you take her fears seriously, but that sleep is actually a time of safety.

I do recall hearing that this age, with developmental, physical, and emotional leaps, is very prone to sleep problems.


----------



## *solsticemama* (Feb 8, 2003)

Mamas. We got back a few days ago and are still adjusting to time changes. It was a great trip tho not without its challenges. The flight over was pretty good since it was an overnight. We got the bulkhead and ds slept for about half of it tho not all in one chunk. We slept off and on for a couple days upon arrival. Little Mukti adjusted faster than we did--he doesn't yet have the problem of 'concepts' getting in the way of his experiential reality. About halfway thru the trip while we were still in England he got sick for the first time. High fever, lethargic, sleeping and nursing constantly, very uncomfortable, didn't eat for 5 days. It was an initiation for this mama. We had to fly to Germany right in the middle of it and boy was I kneeling to the goddess in gratitude for nursing and slinging. He spent the whole time nurse/sleeping in the maya while we waited in line etc at the airport. I felt like a goddess myself as I walked calmly thru the huge, noisy, busy international airport with my 30lb baby quietly nursing thru it all.

Once in Germany he began to recover but one of the children there developed the chicken pox. He was exposed both while she was incubating them and after she got them so we're waiting the 2 to 3 weeks to see if they manifest.

I missed all of you mamas and thought of you often. Blessings Rynna on the birth of your daughter. Mamajaza your pics are lovely. Hope all is going well for you in these last fruitful weeks.

I've been awake since 3 a.m. Ds is napping, tho his body clock is taking some time to readjust. That's all for now. More later when I'm feeling less tired.


----------



## XmasEve (Jun 18, 2002)

solsticemama, newborning a 30lber!! I am in awe of you. How do you do it? I had dreamed of always being the bigger half to my baby, no matter how large he/she grew, but the laws of physics keep me down. And dd is a comparatively tiny 22lbs. (Due to an over indulgence in backyard fresh berries, we had to make an emergency purchase of disposable diapers for potty-trained dd. I got size 3 but could easily have used size 2!) I just realized today that she is tall enough to walk beside me, holding my hand, and I don't have to bend over at all.


----------



## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

Solstice mama! I was thinking about you today or yesterday (can't remember exactly, pregnancy brain) And I'm still pregnant... you were wondering if you would miss the big events of rynna and my births, but so far, my little dumpling has not appeared. I am 3 days "overdue" today, and I feel great, like I could still be pregnant for weeks. Anyways, I was going to show you pictures of my "hugenormous" belly







: http://www.picturetrail.com/gallery/...92&uid=2143685

Kerc, my feeling about the issue your DD has with sleeping is that perhaps she has sleeping confused with death. I remember that particular book you are reading her from when I was a kid, and I didn't really like it. I felt like it was sad. It's like the animal is dying, because they say "goodnight moon..." like your never going to see them again. I definately agree that your DD must be very sensitive.


----------



## Mona (May 22, 2003)

mamajaza- you look wonderful!!!! and your alter is beautiful. i LOVE the great cosmic mother. i just got it out of the attic last week.

solstice mama- WELCOME HOME!!!!!









gotta run.....


----------



## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

Thanks for the love mamas, I am soaking it up







I get along great with my MIL most of the time. It is hard to have two strong, opinionated women in the same house, kwim? I love her, just don't wanna live with her :LOL Her friends from out of town will be with us the rest of this week and begining of next...then dh grandma is coming for a week....

Can you keep a secret? I am longing for fall, I am longing for it to just be our little family again...

Welcome home Solsticemama, we have missed you. I can't imagine dealing with such illness so far from home, how wonderful though, that you had with you all your little one needed. Have BM, will travel, kwim?

MamaJaza, thank you for sharing your lovely pictures. I feel funny sometimes, because I am thinking of you so much, and the wonderful birth that awaits you and your child. I think it is because I really identify with your desire to birth at home, unassisted.

hjohnson, how are you these days? I am thinking that your time is coming soon too, right?

Gotta run....


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

kristin, are you cosleeping? quit reading that book!


----------



## kerc (May 9, 2002)

thanks for all the response mamas! we aren't cosleeping -- no one slept when we did. Most importantly I didn't sleep and I wasn't a good mama when i wasn't sleeping. Erin's in her room in a bed on the floor. door's open at night and she can come bounding in at any time (and did this morning!!). I have shuffled the goodnight moon book to the bottom of the stack. the thing is she loves it other than the last page. it makes me kinda sad when the grandma leaves in the end. I wish the bunny were sleeping and she stayed in there.

I agree with mamajaza that she's confused about sleep/death. So we are spending a lot of time talking about how the babies go to sleep and tucking babies under the covers. I'm hoping that she's getting some comfort from us running in there at first peep in the morning and from waking up with babies all around.

Also on the sleep topic: At one point, I thought this day would never come and now that it has, I am







. Last night dh gave her the bath and read a ton of stories before getting me. I went in, read one story and she was like "night night", pulling the covers up over her shoulder and pointing out the puppy (30 yr old snoopy pillowcase). No nursing. She refused when I offerred. I'm pleased that my dd is growing up and doesn't _need_ to nurse to sleep, because that made me feel very trapped. But it is so hard to let her go on her terms, KWIM? she made up for it this morning by bounding into bed with us and demanding ju-ju (short for mom-juice).


----------



## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

well, things are very hectic around here. yesterday i took rivkah to have some blood drawn, and then we went to get our computer and spend some time with friends; when we got home, there were _two_ messages from her ped's office saying to call back as soon as possible.







when i called this morning, i was told that they were very busy, there were no nurses in and only one secretary, but to call back at 1 pm (shift change). so now eli is nursing and we're killing time till then.

as i suspected he might, eli has basically forsaken solid food since the milk has come back. i try to offer him food before he nurses, but he starts to cry for nursies almost every time. i'm somewhat torn about this. on one hand, i'm worried that he'll lose some weight, and start looking really scrawny again if he doesn't keep eating and drinking pediasure; on the other, he's waited so long to get his milk back, i couldn't keep him from it. and then there's the fact that i don't want to get my period back too soon, and all the nursing will help. *sigh* we're just doing it one day at a time!


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

i think the "little old lady" being gone in the end, or it being dark, is what is getting to your dd. loneliness and darkness are common fears associated with sleep. she needs your total acceptance and respect of her fears, and to feel your confidence that there is no danger. i'm sure you are loving on her, which of course feeling loved is what she needs as well.

i vehemently disagree with the death theories. unless she is a reverend mother child from dune or has lived with death firsthand, death is not something that kids or even adults can perceive and understand cellularly. it is an intellectual knowledge that we acquire, none of us really know what it feels like to be dead. or can feel in our vibrant bodies the possibility of death.


----------



## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

Welcome back Rose! Wow! What a time you had!

Kristin--I so totally don't know what I will do when Owen decides to wean. Although I'm sort of at the point where I'm tiring of it (only every once in a while) I think I will be devastated when he does. I'm thinking about maybe weaning by 2 years, though. We'll see...


----------



## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

Welcome back *solsticemama*! What a trip. It is stressful enough (for me) to have sick kids at home much less abroad! It sounds as though you handled things wonderfully though. There is something about being a mama and the power associated with it that makes you stand tall and proud.








Hope everything is okay eilonwy. The waiting is the hardest.

I agree with casina in that I wouldn't think kids would associate death/sleep unless they had been through something traumatic involving death. I know Scarlett has cried out more at night since we have been in a new place and she isn't sleeping with me as often. Revina has bad dreams about people taking her food and she cries out saying stop and trashing around. I don't know where the whole taking her food scenerio came from, so it is hard to tell what our little ones may find upsetting.

I have met a great AP group of moms here in Tucson that meet at a park every Tuesday and sometimes Thursday. Little babies thru older kids attend and it is good for both the girls and I. Usually I am shy about meeting new people, but I felt instantly comfortable with these women. I guess I don't usually meet people that I have so much in common with!


----------



## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *punkprincessmama*
hjohnson, how are you these days? I am thinking that your time is coming soon too, right?

I am down to 8 weeks left before my due date. I am doing pretty good but the fatigue is starting to set in. Thankfully Christopher still naps for 3 hours so I get to nap as well. My ankles are swelling just a little because of the heat. I am keeping an eye on my blood pressure and keeping an eye out for pitted edema since I had Pre-Eclampsia with my first pregnancy. No Gestational Diabetes this time around! YEAH! Christopher is going to start attending a Mom's Morning Out program two mornings a week in August. He loves being around other kids and I could use the much needed time in the last month before David shows up. So far we have settled on David Alexander for the baby's name.


----------



## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Welcome back, solsticemama!!!







We've been missing you and your Little Mukti...

Hope everything's ok w/ Riv, Rynna.









Glad you found some cool friends in your area, Anna. Now that you're closer I hope to meet you and the girls someday!

At first I had also thought that Erin might be associating sleep with death, but only if she had some kind of memory from a past life or something. I don't know, I'm weird about that stuff- I think what you do in this life has a lot to do with what you did in your past life. Maybe, maybe not, but it obviously sounds like Erin has some fears regarding sleeping, and I'm sure Kristin and her DH will work through it just fine!

I have a horribly S-L-O-W internet connection up here on the mountain (28.8!!!







), so I won't be doing as much posting as I'd like... At least I have internet access, thanks to DH bringing up his laptop!


----------



## kerc (May 9, 2002)

david is such a wonderful name!! I hope everything continues to go well with the pregnancy.

solsticemama I think i forgot to welcome you back! Have you seen the pox yet?

I've got to get back to work, but I LOVE this thread, you mamas are great. Can you all move to whereever it is that I am living? Follow me around the country LOL. Littlemiss I am so jealous that you've found a group of kindred spirits. I am still looking.


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

hey solsticemama, i'm glad you are back. it's amazing what one can go through with children and how they strengthen us.

rynna, my heart is with you tandem nursing. i remember finding that i had even more little muscles i never knew i had nursing with two and learning to maneuver each child with each arm and appreciating my elbows. i remember that being the hardest for me, just getting used to the physical parameters of nursing both, and deciding it was okay to pull a child just from gripping the forearm. i also remember falling asleep with ruby nursing in the sling as well. i had no idea the tandem would be such an experience for me, and that it would turn out so well.

me and ruby are the only ones that don't talk in our sleep, so i'm used to the bizarre chatter. she's growing in her canines and some molars....her body decided to bring in six teeth at the same time. she also quit saying all the words she was saying before and is making new sounds. she was the only one that called me mamma, and now it's gone. now it is mom-EEE in the whiniest voice.

i'm decluttering my house, one cubic foot at a time. dealing with the hot days and yabbering children.

a friend of mine adopted a chinese girl the same age as our babies and is coming back from china saturday. it's weird imagining acquiring my child at this time. it will be interesting to meet this girl. i know things are going well since sabrina has wanted to be held since they got her a over a week ago, though by my friend's husband only. my friend has been keen on adopting especially ever since she met ruby, and has high hopes of the two girls playing together and such, even though she is not crazy with the way i parent the boys. a little freaky for me overall.


----------



## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Wow, casina, how exciting for your friend!!! I hope the babe transitions well- it would definitely be hard for such a little baby to deal with such a huge change... But I'm sure she'll do great! That is just so awesome!!! What a lucky little girl to get parents who WANT her... And to grow up with little Ruby as a friend- HOW COOL! Even though Julianna wasn't made from my body, and I didn't adopt her in the legal sense- she is my baby. I love her as my daughter. I love Zachary a little differently, it's hard to explain, but I definitely feel like the girls are a part of me, too. Adoption is so awesome, I'm glad there are people who do it, and love it.


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

i have a friend with an adopted romanian boy, and another friend with an adopted vietnamese daughter that she nursed. both of them have two "homegrown" kids each. and it is clear that they were all meant for each other. so i know some adoptions that are just plain wonderful. as it obviously is for you, decembersun.


----------



## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

My mom's aunt (is she my great aunt?) breastfed an adopted son and a daughter. It always amazed me because she seemed so snooty in other ways, so it surprised me that she wouldn't just go with the majority and bottle-feed, especially in the late 70's... It must be so hard to do! I could never pump much milk, so I can only imgaine how difficult it is to stimulate a supply while you're waiting for your baby... Courageous mothers!


----------



## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DecemberSun*
My mom's aunt (is she my great aunt?)

Yes.









I'm totally amazed at the notion of stimulating milk production, especially if you've never been pregnant. Very cool stuff!


----------



## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

I have another little girl!!!I've already written the story, but will probably add more later.... it was so great. http://www.mothering.com/discussions...09#post1725609


----------



## *solsticemama* (Feb 8, 2003)

*Mamajaza*...beautiful. My little one is running about right now so I don't have much time to write. The heading of your birth story read, " A delightful Una..." So before I read it I thought, oh she's chosen the name Una, lovely. Then I realized it was just the computer shortening the heading :LOL








babymoon blessings to you, mama!

Thanks for all the welcome backs mamas


----------



## Mona (May 22, 2003)

Congrats mama!!!!

BIG







s to you and your new angel


----------



## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

MamaJazza -








your pics, they are too sweet for words. How precious. I'd forgotten that my dd was ever that small, she weighed 6lbs 12 oz at birth, so she was even smaller!!

And MamaFern, what a beautiful little boy Elwynn is, love that pic on MamaJ's siggy.


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

wow! she looks terrific. i'm so envious and enthralled that you had an unassisted birth. congratulations!


----------



## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

wow Jasanna! Congratulations to you! Sounds like a magical birth. Was Haeven UC as well?


----------



## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Wow, I am utterly speechless. I am so happy for you, Jasanna! You are so beautiful in those pictures. You're really going to treasure those photos later on. I have no pictures of me nursing Zach as a newborn







and only one of me nursing him when he was about 5 months old. I had to ask DH to take a picture of us. Anyway- you are awesome girl! I am so envious of you and Rynna with your new babies. How beautiful!


----------



## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

Congratulations *Mamajaza*
What a beautiful story and an absolutely gorgeous baby girl








I am so glad you were able to have the birth you wanted.
Thanks for the pictures!


----------



## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

yaya im an auntie! i have only seen pictures because im away house sitting. but i got to see jaz just before the baby was born. what a strong woman you are. im really so amazed by you jaz. thanks for sharing your pregnancy with me so that i can wait a while longer to have another one! i love you and your little family so much!

punkprincess mama- isnt my little dude sweet too! hehe.gosh i love him.


----------



## XmasEve (Jun 18, 2002)

mamajaza, I am so happy you got the birth that you wanted, and that your little family deserved. But gosh I'd forgotten how small they start out! They sure don't stay that way long.

So many new moms of two here! Y'all have to keep us posted on how the sibling dynamics develope, so we can live vicariously through you.


----------



## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

thankyou everyone for your congrats! We are doing well. Haeven is adjusting pretty nicely. I think soon she will forget there ever was just us. She likes to help put the boobie in the NB's mouth. Soo cute. She is loving all the milk too, but it can be kind of challenging nursing them together, so I tend to get her unlatched before she's done , but here she is next to me







... gotta feed my babes.


----------



## *solsticemama* (Feb 8, 2003)

*Mamajaza* glad to hear all is going well. My mothering heart is being nourished by the beauty, light and grace that is so present thruout your birth story and pictures. Thank-you for sharing with us.

On a more mundane note, finally a discernible rhythm is emerging with ds's sleep patterns after all the time change and travel. It's been about a week and we are all pretty much back in rhythm with the light and night.

Anyone else experiencing their babe not wanting to leave momma's side? Lately I've even been having to take ds to the bathroom with me at night when I get up to pee :LOL


----------



## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

MamaJaza, love the pic of you tandem nursing. Does new baby have a name yet? Just curious...

Solsticemama, yes my dd is that same way right now. I think it is because there has been so much chaos in our life these last few weeks. Too many new people and visitors, people in and out. And all of them wanting to touch her and tickle her and all that which she hates. So she is back to nursing constantly and hanging on me and me carrying her / slinging all the live long day. Its not that I mind these things at all, generally I cherish them, but right now Im just TIRED.

I hope that made sense, but if not oh well. Im too tired to go back and change it!!!


----------



## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Eli has been eager for attention, but he'd rather have it from just about anyone than me (unless, of course, he's tired and he wants to nurse). Grandma would be #1, Daddy #2 and Mommy a distant #3. Today, for example, Eli was passionately fighting a nap and doing just about anything he could to keep himself awake. I didn't force the issue, hoping he'd exhaust himself and eventually come nurse himself to sleep or just go to bed on his own. Mike came home from work, Eli ran to him and got hugs and kisses, and not five minutes later was sound asleep on Daddy's shoulder.







He was just waiting for someone who wasn't me to get home.


----------



## Mona (May 22, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **solsticemama**
*
Anyone else experiencing their babe not wanting to leave momma's side? Lately I've even been having to take ds to the bathroom with me at night when I get up to pee :LOL


DD is like this too sometimes. In fact, I now have a CUP that i pee in for emergencies. UGH! i don't want to wake her up, so i just go in the room.
not really a biggie for me, but some others might be grossed out.


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

mona i find that just resourceful. i wish i had thought of that with the other two. now ruby, for some reason, since very young, had understood what i mean when i say i have to go pee. while we're on the subject of peeing for mammas, i'll go ahead and add that a disposable diaper in the car has saved me for when i needed it and lacked the energy to take the whole crew into a public restroom or when there was none available. however, it is not an exact science using it....


----------



## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

Mona and Casina, y'all are some resourceful mamas.







My philosophy is: whatever works so I don't think gross at all.


----------



## *solsticemama* (Feb 8, 2003)

Eilonwy, how is it going with your newest one? And you, are you mending and recuperating?


----------



## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

My mom used to save a couple of disposable cups from fast food places in the back of our car, for emergencies. Just put the lid back on, and then pour it out when you get somewhere and throw it away. My mom was definitely resourceful!


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

i just saw rynna had a post in pregnancy and birth loss.....it seems that rivkah's kidneys may not be working quite right....there is no official diagnosis yet. needless to say, she needs our support. i'm worried but i know i need to channel that energy to helping her.....


----------



## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

Oh, Rynna, I really hope your baby is well


----------



## *solsticemama* (Feb 8, 2003)

Thanks for the heads up about Rynna, Casina. Seems she's getting lots of loving support which I hope she can draw from right now. Breathing peace for you and your family, Rynna.

*Mamajaza* have you chosen a name for your littlest one yet, or has a name chosen her?

We're scheduled to go camping for a week next week. Since coming back from Europe, which I have barely shared with you mamas due to laundry and cleaning and mothering, I've got the wanderlust. Something about going away just breathes fresh air into the inner world YK.


----------



## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

Yes I know what you mean *solsticemama*. I think that is why I having been moving every year and a half for the past 5 years. However, I now feel ready to grow some roots. Things have been very challanging since getting to Tucson. We actually may end up in a shelter for a few months if nothing else presents itself soon.

((HUGS)) rynna, may your baby be well.


----------



## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

Something cute from Scarlett... Lately she comes up to me and says "I keysh you mommy" and then plants a big smacker on me. Warms my heart


----------



## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

My new baby girl does have a name now... Samaya Zion.


----------



## *solsticemama* (Feb 8, 2003)

Oh lovely name, *MamaJ* How did it come to you? My understanding of 'samaya' is that it's a sanskrit word for "spiritual vow" For example, one makes a samaya to awaken for the sake of all sentience or one makes a samaya to do X number of mantra within a period of time etc. Is that your experience of it or do you have a different mythology for it?

Lilmiss's mama, sorry to hear that your transition to Tuscon is starting off a bit rough. How are the girls handling it? And you, mama, are you able to do anything nourishing for yourself during this time?

Little Mukti also likes to plant kisses everywhere. Yesterday morning he was nursing and looked up at me and said. 'keessfobeuf' Transliteration: kiss for beuf. Beuf is his word for nursing/breast/mama milk.


----------



## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

I'd love to know more about the name samaya. I know that there is a woman who writes spiritual new age books with that name (sort of a "wise woman" I guess you'd call her) I also like that the name is associated with spirituality. I actually saw the word on a tibetan buddism site, and I really like buddism as a religon. But where I got the name was from my own mind, sitting there thinking of something that felt like her, I came up with that.


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

so much going on these days.

lilmiss, i'm thinking about you.


----------



## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

Mamajaza what a beautiful name for you daughter.


----------



## *solsticemama* (Feb 8, 2003)

Yes, *mamajaza* it's within the tibetan buddhist pantheon that I am most familiar with the word 'samaya'. A better definition than spiritual vow would be discipline. The loveliest definition I've come across is 'the discipline of compassion.' At any rate, a wonderful name for your newest one and that it came to you unbidden is quite cool









hpjonson how are you doing these days?

We are struggling with a serious lack of space and wanting to move. I'm feeling quite hemmed in these days tho I imagine it's by more than just the physicality of 4 walls. What do y'all do with your little ones thru the day?


----------



## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

We are struggling with a serious lack of space and wanting to move. I'm feeling quite hemmed in these days tho I imagine it's by more than just the physicality of 4 walls. What do y'all do with your little ones thru the day?[/QUOTE]

Lack of space yes, a concern of ours too. Since we've been here the girls have done really well. They are easier to upset and a bit more clingy at times, but overall doing well. It is hard though to be in a space that is not your own, b/c they can't totally be themselves. So, we get out of the house every morning. We have been visiting preschools/daycares, making seemingly endless trips to gov't offices, running misc. errands. Then we come back for lunch/naptime and then sometimes go out at evening again as it cools off. Every Tuesday we meet a bunch of mamas at the park, which is great. We also try and get to the library once a week and sometimes do storytime there. Friday evenings we go swimming. My mom is getting us a membership to the Children's Museum for Revina's birthday, so that will be a fun outting too. So, we get out a lot to compensate for lack of space and the girls are always ready to go "bye-bye" too.

*mamajaza*-- I too like the name chosen for your daughter.









Thanks casina


----------



## XmasEve (Jun 18, 2002)

I try to get out as much as possible. But I really don't succeed. So most every day we discover undiscovered territory in the house. Open the coat closet for a day and let that be our play place, taking all the coats out, shutting ourselves in, over and over again. One day we played with the sewing machine (unplugged and on the floor). It was a dollhouse, a pet, a toy car. Dd is really so easy to entertain it's ridiculous-- she entertains herself. Her favorite new game is building towers out of her books. [I try to pick up several cheap sheets of stickers whenever I can and pull those out when I need to as well.]


----------



## bakeria (Jan 10, 2004)

We are blessed to live at the beach so we are never short of opportunities for outdoor activities. We also do a lot of sidewalk chalk, fingerpaint, coloring and water play. You must just surrender to the mess.

We are just beginning to have success with wildflower and herb gathering. Up til now dd had been a little too...well...brutal towards the poor plants.

Yesterday we just laid on the grass and pointed at the birds overhead for 30 mins or so. Gotta love summer. Not looking forward to the return of the rain.

Hope all you mamas and babies are well tonight.


----------



## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

Solsticemama, I am doing pretty good. My ankles are swelling a little bit due to the heat and my Sciatic nerve is pissed off but the chiropractor and massage therapist help with that. My BP is staying low which is good too.

As for getting out, Christopher and I belong to a pretty active mom's group Charlottemommies.com We have park days and other fun activities around the city of Charlotte. My favorite though is Mom's Night Out. The mom's get together while the dad's or other family member's take care of the kids. It is nice to get a break now and then. Our favorite activity is going to the pool. Christopher has a love of water and I love being in the water while pregnant.


----------



## Mona (May 22, 2003)

well, we're pretty lucky in that we have a decent amount of land to roam around, and live in a VERY small town, so we can roam the streets at ease.
we have a pretty good routine- in the garden in the morning, then inside to clean what i've harvested. then upstairs in our room for awhile or back outside so i can do some qigong. (if i'm lucky)
then we make lunch, afterwhich it is usually time for her nap. after her nap we go back outside to a neighbor who has a pond w/ lots of frogs and fish.
back inside for a bit. then back outside to take the compost to the garden.
back inside for a bit. :LOL

i try to stay inside b/w 11-2, except for quickies where there is shade, which is most places on our immediate vacinity.

we have a patio/veranda outside our room, so that is nice too. we can be outside but under the shade of tree and near the room so i can get some things done.

we like to use the sprinker a lot too, which is easier then the pool. :LOL

ok, i am rambling. moral of the story, dd loves to be outside, so we spend a lot of time out there.

solticemama- is there any green space near your apt that you can hang out?

bugger, dd is ready for me to get off....


----------



## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

Before Samaya...My girly woke up between 8-9:30, and I'd change her diaper, clothes, give her breakfast, sometimes put cartoons on so that I can have a shower (only public stations with no commercials).. then upstairs to gramas house where the computer is, and I tend to my addiction (MDC) grama watched her while on here, then maybe we'd go shopping, clean up the house, go to the park for a walk, go to the library (which I imagine I will appreciate a lot more once she is older)eat lunch, nap time, visit with grama, auntie fern, and elwynn perhaps, supper, more MDC for me, sleep time, and movie time for me.

Now...wake up in a pool of pee and breastmilk. think about how I am going to extricate myself from the bed without waking the babies up. pick up samaya and change her soaking diaper and clothes. change haeven's soaking diaper (if I can catch her) change my diaper:LOL Just kidding... try to go pee with one arm (not that hard, but hard to pull up my pants)... time for ME to get dressed. have to put baby down for a minute while watching haeven like ahawk that she doesn't try to pick her up or stick her finger in her eye.... it's quite the juggling act. Today we are going to go to the market downtown, which I imagine will take us a half hour or more to get ready for. even though we're already dressed. sigh* Good times


----------



## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

I tend to feel isolated at times but only because of Owen's naptime that I refuse to mess with. He sleeps from about 11-2. Hard to go anywhere and be back by 11:00, ya know. We tend to keep our trips short. We play outside a lot. We now have a fence, so that gives me a lot of peace of mind. We play with rocks a lot--one of Owen's passions! :LOL Chalk, bubbles, balls (another one of his passions) and cars/trucks.

We go for walks and bike rides (I have a seat on the back of my bike for him). That's about it.


----------



## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

Brayg~Your baby sleeps for 3 hours every day? Wow, I'm impressed. A 2 hour nap is the most I can get out of my DD. But recently she's been sleeping more. Must be the breastmilk, I think.


----------



## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

most days he does. He's also been sleeping 12 hours/night lately. He's on hyperdrive during his waking hours, so it's great that he sleeps well! :LOL


----------



## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

I forgot to add that we do have a standing playdate once a week with a friend who is only one month older than Owen. The mom and I get along so well. I just love her!









We do ECFE (early childhood) classes during the school year as well.

Next week, Jacob starts swimming lessons, so we'll be hanging out at the pool (they have a wonderful kiddie pool) for 2 weeks. Yay!


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

saying hello here. i'm in a bad mood and it will go away but i don't want to share too much of it. i cracked a rib, i think, monday and it is starting to wear me down along with everything else. my kids are really happy lately so really i must be doing something right. summers are pretty hard here for me. they are like minnesota winters where you turn on the car to get it at a reasonable temperature and you run from the house to the vehicle, and walk the short distance to the place you are going so that the heat doesn't get you. i'm exaggerating of course because now that i have kids i have at least try to go outside even if they complain or they get crazy and i'm okay with sweating and getting wet but the mosquitoes and fire ants are another story. today i even walked to the grocery store up the block that i'm so grateful to live near even though it won't take my food stamps so i hardly go there. but it was still tough and i hadn't done it in months even with the actual breeze today. what the summer really does is makes me feel isolated. this is the first year i have not stated that i'm moving away from here just because of the durned climate. i'm beginning to despair that i will not ever figure how to garden manageably here which is a small thing compared to my dissatisfaction with the house and money. aack, i've complained enough. and i know it's stupid and wasting my energy. it's when i don't complain about the millions of little things gnawing at me, that is usually when life is actually hard. i guess i'm tired of being in either state. i know that bliss is just in my mind. at least i have a home and dh and healthy kids to feel disgruntled about. okay, i've shared too much already.


----------



## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

casina. Sorry you're having a rotten time.

I have new pictures in my sig line (I think!) There are some really great pictures of my Very First Tandem Nursing. :LOL I was so excited!







:LOL


----------



## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

AWwwwww... rynna, your babys are so cute. eli with his big green eyes, and rivkah sure looks smart!!! Just one month old, and looks like she's 4 months old!


----------



## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Thanks, Jaz! I'm totally impressed by Rivkah, she's already done some very cool things. It feels to me like she's older than three weeks, I just can't remember the family dynamic before she was here.


----------



## Mona (May 22, 2003)

casina--







s to you.....


----------



## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

brayg--- Scarlett is really into rocks and sticks too.

((hugs)) casina. I don't think complaining is all bad. It gets it off your chest so to speak, and sometimes just that helps. I know what you mean though... it seems as soon as I complain about something I hear of someone having a much worse time. Occasionally it will make me feel guilty, but mostly it helps me to remember the blessings I do have. Which is good to be reminded of now and then.


----------



## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

Casina

Rynna--how's Rivkah doing?


----------



## kerc (May 9, 2002)

Quote:

Scarlett is really into rocks and sticks too
YAY!!! remember I am a geologist and thrilled to hear of more kids who are into rocks.

We're back from about a week with my inlaws. Including a little camping in pictured rocks national lakeshore (VERY pretty, going back for sure) and then some time spent with ga-ga and ginga at our house. It was fun overall and except for







: "erin don't you think you're too old for ju ju?" Not terribly confrontational.

Now I'm back to work and back home -- it is hot for the first time all summer here in Duluth. 80s next week. I know, I know, some of ya'll are in hotter weather, but I need to adjust, KWIM?

Casina -- i think complaining and recognizing that you are complaining is constructive. Sometimes it helps me a lot just to get it out.

Pictures are beautiful -- thanks for posting.
back to work now, I think.


----------



## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Passing the peace pipe to casina







s. Take a deep breath, and I hope you feel better. Take it easy on yourself- especially with an injured rib!

Brayg- I know exactly what you mean about not being able to go anywhere during the day because of naptime. I'm (sort of) involved in a playgroup (not AP) in my area and they keep meeting at 10am, or 1pm, and I'm like "I CAN'T MEET AT THOSE TIMES!!!" My kids sleep from 11-2 ish also, Zach usually sleeps from 12-2 and Julianna from 11-2 or so. I like to go places early in the morning, before the heat kicks in, and be back for a little nap, then take it easy playing at home in the afternoon, YK? I'm going to really get cracking when I get back to AZ about having a weekly outing again with our AP playgroup. A nice early morning playtime with some fellow AP mamas... I need to surround myself with other nursing moms, I am so sick of getting looks and comments from the mainstream people in this world about my toddler nursing!

Oh, I met some MDC mamas up here in WA! I posted in the "finding your tribe" forum that I would be here, so they came up and we had a campfire and made S'mores. One little boy was a little older than Zach and the other little boy was a little younger than him







. They were both still nursing, and cloth diapered, and I felt so comfortable hanging with other people 'like me'. I need to find more people like that in my area, for sure! I didn't need to make excuses for why Zachary needed the "bobby" when he fell down and got hurt. "He just does, OK?!?" LOL.

Rynna, how is Rivkah doing???

I love the name Samaya, Jasanna. "Haeven and Samaya" sounds good together!







How is your DP handling the change of having TWO daughters now? You seem to have eased right into the flow... Except for a few hectic moments, I'm sure! Imagine me with 3 mo. old Zachary and then getting a 4-day old newborn going through drug withdrawels-- bottle-fed with reflux no less! It was a huge sleepless blur those first few months, but it is very nice now









Have a nice day mamas... Try to stay sane in the heat!


----------



## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

Leah--I still don't know how you did it! Wowee!









Kristin--sounds like you had a great time. The most beautiful state park I've been to (I don't get around too much though! :LOL) is actually not too far from you--Jay Cooke. We went there when Jacob was 2 1/2 and I've been dying to get back there ever since! We camped 2 nights and then headed up to your neck of the woods to sleep in a hotel for one night. Went to the depot and were surprised that Thomas the Tank Engine happened to be there. It was such a great weekend.


----------



## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DecemberSun*
Rynna, how is Rivkah doing???

I haven't heard back from her ped yet, I will Monday afternoon, most likely. Aside from that, she's definately growing and she's quite an interesting little person, already showing quite a bit of personality. And she's super kissable, too.


----------



## *solsticemama* (Feb 8, 2003)

Another rock-lovin little one here. Ds has been enjoying finding small rocks, carrying them to the "gwate" and dropping them in one by one and not before examining each one in detail. I love watching his refined little hands feeling out the texture and shape of each rock before he gracefully releases into the grate or water or bucket etc.

He's napping right now finally. Camping trip has been cancelled. He's got the chicken pox, officially. It's about day 2 of real spots but a couple of days of random spots before that. I've stocked up on calamine lotion, oatmeal bath stuff and oatmeal lotion. I'll be calling our ped tomorrow who is a homeopath to see if she can recommend a specific remedy. Poor little guy, he keeps scratching and saying "eetchy"

Rynna sweet pics of your family. The babymoon love is palpable.

Casina, how'd you break your rib? Sending a spacious breath your way, mama.


----------



## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

I just watched a video called Goddess Remembered and in it they talked about the rock being powerful sources of energy. Maybe our little ones, still being so close to the spirit world, feel that power/energy?

I hope the girls get the chicken pox before they get much older. It would be nice to have a mild case and get it out of the way. I remember having them around 11 years old, and I was covered in spots. *solsticemama* I would be interested in hearing about a homeopathic remedy if your ped suggests one!


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

thanks so much for the hugs and the toke on the peace pipe......

solsticemama, i think now is actually the best time to get chicken pox. old enough to keep immunity, young enough that you can help take care of it. the warmest water y'all can stand in the bath will help release the histamine.

eilonwy, your family is beautiful i enjoyed seeing your pictures. eli is striking and rivkah is so pretty. hey, i'm reading the chronicles of prydain now. i wanted to see if reed was ready for them as a read aloud nighttime book and then i wanted to read all of them again. they were some of my favorite books when i was a kid.

rocks and fossils were one of my loves as a child. then i moved here which is without rocks. all my kids are interested in them, though ruby has a certain disposition towards sand and dirt and the tactile. one of the times i realized i was meant to be with my not yet then husband was when his family took us camping in arkansas and we two went crystal mining two days in a row. perched on cliffs of dirt in the sun with sweat dripping and covered with red earth, cutting our fingers working to get crystals out of the veins.

we're almost done building my dh's man space, his music studio. i was touching up some paint and foolishly perched on an amp with casters. i had put in carpet with two layers of pad, and that corner was not level and sloped up a bit. and i was already in a bad mood because i found out that day that my boys seem to think that dh does all the work around here and the house is making me crazy. i don't even think i would have got hurt had i not been so tense. i have never broken or harmed a bone before. my first thought was, i have given birth three times this is no big deal! my 2nd was that i cannot afford to be hurt since i'm the only one that can carry children and anything and do any work and such.

i'm in a weird space in that i have finally have no disasters to cope with and am working to make my environment beautiful and practical and to make my home and life and clothing as rich as i feel inside. i'm so used to dealing in survival reactionary mode and i have a lifetime habit of fearing success and money that i'm moving away from inch by inch.

my friend came home with their adopted baby from a chinese orphanage, who was born oct 02. the girl has made the primary attachment to the dad, which is really interesting and cool to me (and not surprising considering how children gravitate towards him) that he is such a receptive male. i'm not familiar with any other men that know what it is like to be absolutely needed at every moment of a child's life, to deal with the complete proximity (like she has been mostly held by him only). and the whole family is adapting so well i'm just so glad that she is open to touch, and she looks really happy it is amazing how flexible a child or any person can be in such circumstances.

good night sisters


----------



## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

here's something especially for you mammas with new ones
http://www.angelfire.com/comics/hathor/index.html


----------



## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Eli loved that cartoon.







"Look at the baby!

Somoene who works with Mike sent me flowers, and Eli is dancing with a bright pink rose. Adorable!


----------



## *solsticemama* (Feb 8, 2003)

I'll take a turn with the peace pipe, mamas...Ds was up for 3 hrs last night, lots of tossing and turning. We finally got up to put some calomine lotion on and that seemed to help somewhat. He's agitated and irritated with all the spots which are quickly proliferating. Can't go too many places with him either. His spirits are relatively good. He was wandering around our little garden this morning but he's definitely wanting to be with mama more.


----------



## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

Pass the peace pipe this way. Christopher is cutting three eye teeth at once and it is making for some long nights. Oh the joys of teeth. Thankfully Hylands helps somewhat. I am holding out on giving him Motrin.


----------



## *solsticemama* (Feb 8, 2003)

A rough night. Ds was up every 45 mins. He's soo uncomfortable and the spots are everywhere. They swell up, blister and then ooze so he's really feeling it today. We've got a call into the ped today to see if she can recommend anything. We have to be out of the apt all day today since our landlord is having the heating system replaced. Not exactly what we wanting to be doing when our little one is feeling so low but a friend has offered her nice space to us to use and am feeling grateful for that.

Lilmiss'smama how's the housing situation going? I've been thinking of you.


----------



## Mona (May 22, 2003)

sm- i'm sorry your ds is having such a hard time. have you given any chamomilla to help him relax? i just came accross something put out by "herbs for kids" called valarian super calm. it has valarian, chamomille, skull cap, and a few others i think. i used it the other day, and it is gentle and effective. not something i would want to use regularly, but for those difficult times. i've also heard it is great for kids w/ adhd.

love to all.....


----------



## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

Hey ladies... you think it might be time to start a new thread? Were going on page 21 here. I guess I could take the plunge and do that right now...

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=171619


----------

