# "um, she sleeps in her crib..."



## perditafoster (Sep 30, 2003)

Okay, who else lies like a dog sometimes when questioned about where your baby sleeps? With most of my family, including my ultra-conservative dad and grandmother, I tell them the truth. I figure, they love me and Bridget and they want what's best for all of us. But for my SIL, who is way into schedules and timetables and "you can do this with the baby at night but never this" I lie and say she sleeps in her crib most of the time. Which is so completely wrong, I am probably going to hell.







But, anyway, I just want to know how many other mamas out there lie, or if a lot of y'all are brave and just tell the truth...


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## Megs Mom (Mar 19, 2002)

I always tell the truth. But then, I am a fanatic truth-teller. But you know what else? I don't fault you in the least for doing what makes it a little easier for you to get by.


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## GoodWillHunter (Mar 14, 2003)

Oh, goodness! :LOL My sister is also way into schedules and all those other things that are *so* important to some. She always asks me if Hunter is sleeping in his own bed. I always reply "Nope! Sure isn't!" "Is he nursing at night? Yep, sure is!" She always sighs and rolls her eyes. Of course, so am I!







: New ppl who come to our house look for "the baby's room"...Ummm...we don't have one. It's a study...


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## Chaja (Dec 13, 2002)

I have a baby's room with a crib downstairs where ds naps sometimes, but upstairs is mine and dh's bedroom where ds sleeps with us. I also have a cradle up there - that my Dad made for me when I was born and fixed it up for my ds. Anyway - ds only slept in it once for about 5 minutes. Anyway - with some people when they ask where he's sleeping I just say - upstairs with us - and leave it vague b/c I don't feel like discussing it.

Othertimes I tell them he sleeps with us and that I feel safer with him sleeping w/ us than in a crib - I tell them "You know about 6,000 babies die per year of SIDS and only about 60 babies die per year in bed with parents - and many or most of those are due to drugs, alcohol, or other odd circumstances." They're usually surprised and I think they consider it when they wouldn't have otherwise.

I figure that way I'm educating someone - or putting a "scheduler" on the defensive - which I like









But again - other times I don't feel like dealing with it and am vague with them.


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## Piglet68 (Apr 5, 2002)

I never miss an opportunity to lecture someone about how great cosleeping is, lol!









I also like the shock factor. But then I'm the same gal who went to genetics class at University with purple hair and a pet rat in my jacket!


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## fyrflymommy (Jan 20, 2003)

hehehe i like to tell the truth for shock value too! tho actually i havent shocked anyone yet.... they're more shocked when i tell them i'm not weaning my almost 2yr old..... a neighbor of my parents asked a long time ago how my baby slept and i said we cosleep and stuff....and the neighbor did too when her sons were kids!


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## lilirose (Feb 19, 2003)

sorry, having to remove all posts with personal info due to an online stalker.


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## mother_of_two (Sep 3, 2003)

I have lied to my sister before but no one else....i am a young mother of two and most of my friends have many questions as to where my kids sleep, when i will stop nursing etc.... I tell them the truth so i can educate them on what is natural and feels right but with my sister, well that is a totally different story!!! She is not a mother yet and her beliefs are a little different than mine, not saying hers are wrong but some things and some situations may eventually change her mind. I usually just stretch the truth a little bit so it saves the arguement.


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## Ilaria (Jan 14, 2002)

Ditto Piglet! (minus the genetics class!)


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## Sasha_girl (Feb 19, 2003)

I'm another one for shock value. My family is pretty cool about my decisions because they know I'll have researched like crazy and have umpteen rebuttals ready for them anyway. With people I just meet it's a great way to gauge them (not that everyone has to agree with my parenting decisions, but they need to respect them) as well as shock them.

I like when people ask what we decorated the baby's nursery in.







:


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## Colorful~Mama (Feb 20, 2003)

i don't lie at all

"does he sleep thru the night"
no. of course not! he's only 3 months old . I am pushing 40 and wake up at least once or twice myself.
he wakes twice to nurse and goes right back to sleep next to me. I never have to get up out of bed. And the clothdiapers we use don't leak or smell, so i rarely even have to change him. Zoey gets up at least once a night too. she's 3 and just hits the potty and then climbs into bed with us.

"whats the nursery decorated in"
Well, Zoeys room is winnie the pooh and she sleeps half the night in there. Roman will join her in there when he is older and wants to. But we don't have a nursery, we enjoy a family bed.

"where the crib"
we don't own one. The babies sleep with us til their ready for their own bed. cosleeping is better for a bfing mom and for babies. did you know humans are the only mammals who make a separate nest for their young?


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## Ilaria (Jan 14, 2002)

I love decorating, and we did do a baby's room and will for this baby too. BUT, I always point out that it's for storage only, babies sleep with us!


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## happy_mama35 (Jul 14, 2003)

I'm pretty straightforward in my replies. I got a lot of slack about cosleeping at first from family (even DH is slow to warm to the idea). I knew the crib thing was never right for us from the beginning. I remember babysitting as a teen and it never felt right to take a peacefully sleeping infant and put the child down on a cold mattress alone in a room. A little off the subject, but somehow related, is some experience I gained from one AP family for whom I babysat. I carried the little one (started babysitting for him when he was just a month or so old) around in a snuggli sack/front carrier and when he slept, I would recline in a rocker and snuggle him. It felt so natural.
So, no, I can't fudge the truth when asked. DD sleeps with us.


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## ~Megan~ (Nov 7, 2002)

I tell the truth, especially with family because we are the first to have a child (she also has a 5 month old cousin). I want them to know that when they have a child that they have more options than mainstream parenting magazines would allude to.


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## Casimir's_Mama (Aug 18, 2003)

I'm totally a liar. I just sort of lie by omission to my mother, despite the waterproof crib pad sitting on our bed and snug tuck pillow up the side. She asks how many times a night he wakes and I say, "i have no idea" but I don't think she knows why I have no idea. In trush I'm half asleep as he wakes to nurse.
I hate that it's so secret though...makes me feel like I'm doing something totally odd, unsafe and unusual.


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## StarMama (Jun 25, 2002)

Nope I tell anyone who asks that he sleeps in bed with us. Everyone who "argues" (ok so far only MIL, and that was to Dh)with us uses the "you don't want him sleeping with you *forever* do you?" bit. My returning comment is going to be "I doubt he's going to want to sleep with us when he's 15." And honestly he can sleep with us as long as he wants. My only concern is when we have more children, and then if he's still in bed with us we will get a twin sized bed, or sidecar a crib, or something.


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## merpk (Dec 19, 2001)

Very proudly blunt about it, and mega-booster for the family bed. DH, too, tells everyone and anyone about it. People may look at us like we're weird, but we've never had any extended backlash from it ...


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## sparklemom (Dec 11, 2001)

i used to feel social pressure to hide the fact that we share a family bed. but i've grown into myself, so to speak, as a mother and now appreciate opportunities to represent for the family bed. so, no, i do not hide the fact that our dds sleep with us.


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## Casimir's_Mama (Aug 18, 2003)

I definitely need more confidence in asserting my viewpoints, but I think I also just am tired of judgment and disapproval. I have a huge number of in-laws who think I'm a freak already for not changing my name and being one of those wacky feminist types, so forget it. The way I see it , it's not their business anyway.
But I do think it's great that lots of you out there are talking about it openly and standing up to people about it.


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## mama2bababoo (Aug 22, 2003)

We don't lie. And we have gotten bad comments from people. Mostly the inlaws, but I just let them know that ds will be sleeping with us until he chooses to sleep in his own bed. And he will be nursing until he chooses to stop too. I've been slowly educating my family about our choices, and they either understood them from the beginning, are starting to understand, or choose not to comment because they know that it's okay for them to have a difference in opinions and parenting choices. Now, if we could just get the inlaws to keep their comments to themselves :LOL


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## BrettsMama (Oct 17, 2003)

I always tell the truth. My IL's are a real piece of work.







: I learned very quickly that if we falter for one second, they will try to walk all over us. We have had to be very truthful and FIRM about the decisions we make. I never let them think they can influence our decisions. If they make comments (and believe me, they do!) I always have a come back. "ACTUALLY, research shows that co-sleeping...blah blah blah" They are starting to get the idea that we will do what we think is best and they have no say in that.


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## Kristine (Sep 26, 2003)

Quote:

_Originally posted by Piglet68_
*I never miss an opportunity to lecture someone about how great cosleeping is, lol!









I also like the shock factor. But then I'm the same gal who went to genetics class at University with purple hair and a pet rat in my jacket!







*
Ha! I love it! I love shock value also. But sadly, nobody in my family was shocked.









My stepfather made one comment to my husband soon after my son's birth about how if our son isn't in a crib, he may never leave our bed. My genius husband told him it worked for us and that was that. My stepfather is not one for confrontation of any sort and meekly backed down. I then told my mother to tell others (ahem) we needed no parenting advice, especially as certain others (ahem) weren't perfect parents. She thought this was actually quite funny and understood. So it's all easy for us. My in-laws like me a lot and think I'm enigmatic, so they don't say anything to me at all about parenting choices. If anybody did, people assume I'd cut them off and thus keep quiet no matter what.

But we have a wonderfully happy family and my little boy is an angel, so we've made believers out of a lot of people that co-sleeping, nursing, and things of that nature are good things. I try to set an example when we go out in public by using slings, and modeling how I think things should be. We always get positive feedback from people, so I like to be vocal.


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## keenya74 (Nov 10, 2003)

you all seem so brave, I guess, there is no reason forme to not tell others about my co-sleeping ways.... I just don't really talk about it because everyone that does know( including my dh) thinks she should sleep in her crib.

I made the mistake of not know about co-sleeping when my dd was born and through advice from others I told my dh I did not want ther to sleep with us, b/c we could roll over on her . So I still regret that comment I made when my dd was 5 days old and my dh said to bring her to bed....

Oh well... live and learn. Maybe Ill start telling people.


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