# I'm not really pregnant!



## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

I just got a phone call from the doctor about blood work I had done a couple of months ago and it turns out that my HCG level was 0. I didn't have them redo a pregnancy test when I went in. I don't know why. I brought them my







and they were just doing my routine bloodwork and they just NOW got back to me on it. So I guess it turns out I was never pregnant and my BFP was a false positive.







I was wondering why everyone else was starting to show and I couldn't even feel my uterus but I was going to do a UC and do my own prenatal care except for the bloodwork I had my OB do.
I feel like I lost something even though nothing was ever there. I even had (I guess they were psychosomatic) morning sickness and sore boobs.








I changed the title of the thread because no one was reading it. I'm still sad.


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## KatherineinCA (Apr 4, 2002)

Dreams in Digital,

Yes, you have lost something! You believed you were pregnant! Your loss is no less than any other woman who believed she was pregnant. My miscarriage at ten weeks was a blighted ovum, should I not have grieved because there wasn't "really" a baby? Please allow yourself the time and space to process the loss of everything you were planning on--a pregnancy, a birth, and a new baby.

I would also recommend giving some thought to how you explain this to others. If it sounds like you're saying it's not a valid loss, you may get even less support than the already-inadequate support many miscarrying moms receive.

Offering love and support,
Katherine


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## Katana (Nov 16, 2002)

Dreams In Digital,

I'm so sorry for what you're going through.









Please don't feel like you haven't lost. Listen to your heart, not what a doctor said.

I wish you peace and healing.


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## shannon0218 (Oct 10, 2003)

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. A loss is a loss, allow yourself to grieve.


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## Mom4tot (Apr 18, 2003)

I'm sorry!


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## ekblad9 (Nov 21, 2001)

I'm so sorry for your loss.


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## gonnabeamom (Sep 15, 2003)

Dreams,

It's so strange, because when I m/c last time, I kept going around in my head, trying to convince myself that I hadn't been pregnant, and that it had all been a collosal mistake on my part, despite having had high HCG levels that declined.

Then I went to great lengths to say that well, I'd only been pregnant a few weeks, it wasn't like a real miscarriage.

Now I'm gonna m/c again, and I know I was pregnant, and I was further along, and it really doesn't suck anymore than it did.

And it hurts, and so has taking a year to conceive and so has all of it.

So I guess I 'm trying to say is not having the baby you want, and believed you were getting is damn painful!Whatever the wheres and hows.

Take good care of yourself.


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## Ms. Mom (Nov 18, 2001)

I wonder too if you were but m/c very early? Either way, you're morning a loss and you have a right to your grief









I'm so very sorry.

Edited with an afterthought - were you taking any infertility drugs? I know some can cause a false positive in a urine test. When I was TTC on infertility drugs I was told not to take home tests because they could show a false positive.

Also, I had a blood pregnancy test come back negative - a few weeks later I went in for bloodwork to have surgery and I was almost 4 months pregnant with my ds.

Still sending healing hugs.


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

It's a teeny, tiny blessing in disguise because DS was only 4 months old when I got the







and I was so upset thinking I would have to formula feed him once I got to the milk drying up part. That, and I would have had to put him in daycare and get a job. It just really reaffirms for me that I am not done having babies and I dearly want at least one more. I wasn't so sure but now I am.
And I'm not sure if I had an early m/c or not. Without having a normal AF back, it's impossible to tell. If so, I hope that angel baby understands that I would have loved him/her no matter what hardships we would have had to endure. I know that now there is no way to know if I m/c'd or not. I'd like to know, just so I could mourn properly. I'm still sort of numb, like I'm watching it on tv or something. I'm sure it'll hit me in a while.








Thanks for your support, everyone.
Edited to add: No I definitely was not TTC or on fertility drugs. I was (and still am) exclusively breastfeeding my 7-month-old and planning to wait a couple years to TTC.


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## BusyMommy (Nov 20, 2001)

Oh, that really sucks. I'm so sorry.







It's such an empty feeling of loss.


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## gossamer (Feb 28, 2002)

Dear DID,
I am so sorry for your loss. Yes, I believe you had a real loss of a baby. Until the baby is born, only the mama really has a complete bond with the baby, and even though you might not have been pregnant, you already had that connection with your baby. I promise that your spirit baby knows that no matter the circumstances, you would have loved him/her with all your heart. You have been so sweet to me during my mourning and loss, I am here for you. Please be sure to take care of yourself.


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

I jsut caught this thread. I'm sorry for your loss.


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## Bunches (Dec 8, 2003)

Ooooooooooohhhhhhhhh dreamsindigital, I am so sorry for your loss. If you got a positive HPT, then maybe you were!!!!!!!! You are in my thoughts. Sending healing vibes your way too!!


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## Mamid (Nov 7, 2002)

Who says you weren't pregnant for a blip? the docs? They don't know anything. They have told me time and time again that it was "all in my head" when I had a "late period." Yet, I'd find a blip in my pad that awfully looked like a 3-6 week sack.

That's what I found when I had my surprise in November, yet again the doc said that I wasn't really pregnant because by the time I could go in to get tested, it was negative.









I know what I saw.

I think you were pregnant, but only for a few days. Long enough to register a +, but not long enough to kick the hormones into play to start the entire process that would enable a pregnancy to stick.

Remember: doctors practice the art of medicine. The science is through trial and error.


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