# kiddie tattoos---your opinions?



## waiting2bemommy (Dec 2, 2007)

I don't know where this came from, but lately ds has been asking for tattoos. I think it could have partly come from wanting to be like daddy (who has lots of tattoos) but all of a sudden in the last few weeks ds kept asking me for tattoos. He saw some at dollar tree and thought they were stickers and I said "no, they're temporary tattoos, not stickers" and he begged me to buy them, so I did.

It doesn't bother us any. the first ones ds got were thomas the train, and he wanted a loooong train tattoed across his collarbone, "just like daddy." he probably had 2 or 3 of them (he would have made me put the entire sheet on his stomach if I'd let him)

he went to grandma's house for dinner or sunday, spent the night and we picked him up from school the nextday. On his arm and collarbone where the tattoos were, his skin was red and raw looking where my mom had scrubbed and scrubbed the tattoos off. i asked him about it and he said grandma said they were "bad" and she had to get them off so no one would see them. He said his armn hurt but he wanted me to put his tattoo back









Because of my own upbringing I have a hard time knowing when I'm going overboard in terms of letting ds make his own choices. I give him a lot of freedom, maybe too much. As far as I'm concerned, if he likes the tattoos he can have them. They wear off naturally and don't hurt anybody, and I don't want him to start thinking he has to look a certain way or people won't like him. Plus, my SO has a lot of tattoos, and the implication (at least the way it came across to ds) was that "daddy's tattoor are bad." he also asked me if his dad was going to wash his tattoos off too.

Is it inappropriate to let ds have them? Am I doing something wrong?


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## HappyMommy2 (Jan 27, 2007)

No, you aren't doing anything wrong! Your mom sure did though! It takes several days and lots of scrubbing to get those things off. I feel sorry for your son ... she must have used a brillo pad!!!

We put lots of those on, especially now, for halloween.


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## Alyantavid (Sep 10, 2004)

Temporary tattoos don't even show up on my radar of "bad". My kids have them sometimes and love them. Although I'm the one they're trying to be like.

You're not doing anything wrong. Maybe talk to your mom and let her know this isn't something that anyone needs to get that upset over.


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## nola79 (Jun 21, 2009)

There isn't anything wrong with kiddie tattos. Kids love them, they're fun.
Ds once put one on his eyelid, lol.
I would be upset with your mom, though, for scrubbing your son's arm so hard it was raw. She's in the wrong, not you.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

I don't have a problem with temporary tattoos at all, though my dd has lost interest as she's gotten older. No big deal.


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## odenata (Feb 1, 2005)

My 5 yo dd has one on right now that she got at school last week from the firefighters that visited. While I find them kind of annoying, because they take forever to wear off, I can't imagine thinking kid's tattoos are "bad."

I would be angry at my mother in your shoes. She hurt your son and implied to him that his father is bad. I would let her know that my family doesn't think tattoos are bad, and ds can have them if he wants.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

We personally don't do them-- I don't like how they look, I worry about the chemicals, and we tell our kids "tattoos are for grownups"







-- but I think your mom was way out of line. It's not her job to override your parental decisions and it's certainly not her job to make your son feel yucky about something he was so proud of.


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## Ellien C (Aug 19, 2004)

Let me just say that we are not "tatoo" people here. I would actually get one, but it would HORRIFY my DH. That said, kiddie tatoos are not even on our radar. Think of them as "skin stickers" and maybe grandma will relax a little. Our local history museum just handed them out for Girl Scout day and they come in all of the goodie bags for kids parties. Recognize though, that Grandma is likely from another generation where tats had a completely different connotation than they do now.


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## prothyraia (Feb 12, 2007)

I would be *livid* if my parents A) scrubbed my child so hard their skin was damaged, and B) told them something that I had obviously allowed was "bad"


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## Evergreen (Nov 6, 2002)

Sounds like something my mother would do. She hates kid tattoos especially when they start fading or peeling off in places. I always wash my kids' off with baby oil before they go over there so she doesn't attempt to rub their skin raw.


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## NiteNicole (May 19, 2003)

I don't think I've been to a kid's party where there weren't temp tats in the goodie bags. I see them at ball games, birthday parties, CHURCH for goodness sake! They look kind of grungy when they start to wear off and I usually do get impatient and scrub them off, but that's my only issue with them.

Is it possible they were starting to get cracked and cruddy looking and your mom decided to scrub them off because they looked funky and your kid heard "tattoos are bad?" My daughter's interpretations of things *I* say are often wrong, misguided, and just plain out of left field. My mom or even I might say, "we need to scrub these off because they're looking pretty bad and I don't want you running around with half peeled off tattoos" and my daughter could easily hear, "tattoos are bad."

Of course, this does depend on what the tattoos were. I'm assuming you weren't covering him in naked ladies and the F bomb and sending him to your mom


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## WifeMomChiro (Jul 28, 2010)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *prothyraia* 
I would be *livid* if my parents A) scrubbed my child so hard their skin was damaged, and B) told them something that I had obviously allowed was "bad"

I agree with this. My dd's interest in temporary tattoos waxes and wanes, and we don't view them as bad by any means. My DH and I don't have any tattoos. Kids just view them as fun. I will admit that I don't really like how they start looking dirty after a while (when they start falling off), but I would never scrub that hard to get them off.


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

Ok, that'd be the last time he spent the night at grandma's house for me!

Your mother removed something that your son wanted, by forcibly scrubbing (just FYI, if you do want to remove them, they usually come off easily with a little oil/lotion), and then told your son they were 'bad', thereby implying that his dad was 'bad'. She left a mark that lasted more than a day!! Does grandma have some issues?

No, you did not do something wrong. LOTS of kids wear temporary tattoos. While I'm personally not fond of adult tattoos, that's a personal decision, not a moral choice.

The ones you put on were appropriate for a child and fun decoration.


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## sewchris2642 (Feb 28, 2009)

I'm probably the same generation as your mom (I'm 58). I had this idea that tattoos were only worn by prison inmates and career military. This was the connotation that society had of tattoos when I was growing up. Joy and Erica both have tasteful tattoos. So do their dhs. And I have admired them. I have altered my stand on tattoos. My rule is that tattoos (tasteful--no gang or hate symbols, etc.) belong on adults, not children, so while I will sign for pierced ears, I do not sign for tattoos. Besides, in another generation or 2, teens and young adults will no longer be getting them simply because their parents and grandparents have them.

On the other hand, temporary tattoos for children are another matter. There is certainly nothing wrong with children having them. Your mom is out of line. Have you asked her exactly what her objection to them is? They have been around at least 30-40 years.

I looked up the history of children's temporary tattoos and they have been around a lot longer than I thought--over 100 years, in fact according to these 2 websites. http://ezinearticles.com/?Temporary-...zing&id=350941 http://www.tattooarchive.com/history...ry_tattoos.htm


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## tallulahma (Jun 16, 2006)

well dh & i are both tattoo free- and i have no problems with them.

dd1 is wearing one right now.

i would also be livid if my mom scrubbed them off- l.i.v.i.d.

i would call her and say "ds said you scrubbed the tattoos off- it hurt him and left marks. thats not okay"

and fwiw- the temporary tattoos come off very easily with warm water and olive oil/coconut oil!

no scrubbing required.


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## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

We are fine with temporary tattoos. I don't see any reason not to be. And I also remove them quickly, with ease, using coconut or olive oil.

Oh, and no, I have never had a stigma associated with real tattoos. I know the history, but since it's so far from my reality it has no impact on how I view them. My kids have seen others getting tat's, including their dad. Nothing negative about the choice to alter one's body, IMO, as long as they are consenting and of course have it done safely.


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## ollyoxenfree (Jun 11, 2009)

For future reference, the temporary tattoos come off easily if you wipe them with baby oil. No scrubbing required.

I think temporary tattoos are fine for little ones. They are handed out for free at a lot of events now, so they are pretty mainstream.

My attitude may be a little more liberal than others, though. I figure if it's temporary, I don't mind. So haircuts, nail polish, temporary tattoos - my dc have been allowed to do what they want since they were small - they are teens now. DS just cut off the mohawk he's had for the past couple of months. I've discouraged permanent changes - tattoos, piercings - and they have never made an issue of it. I think because they know I won't otherwise interfere with their personal expression.


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## Super~Single~Mama (Sep 23, 2008)

I just think its cute that your ds wants to be just like his dad!!

Temp tat's are just for fun! And, my ds would LOVE a thomas one - maybe I'll see if I can find one for him!


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## rhiOrion (Feb 17, 2009)

My mom wouldn't let us wear them when we were little because there was an urban legend about people putting acid on them. I wonder if your mom has some holdover of that mentality?

Really I'm grasping at straws... it sounds like what she did was just uncalled for and only because of her personal opinion on real tattoos.


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

I have put temporary tatoos on infants before. I think they are fun and cute.

They sell them in a package for $1. So, we buy one every now and then, and use them up while it's still a novelty. (these are daycare kids, not mine, so we go through them quickly)

Baby oil takes them right off.

I would NEVER tell a child the tattoos were bad. Most parents have tattoos now. Why say it's bad if their parents have them? That's just like saying "I don't approve of your Daddy's tattoos".

The only thing I can think of, is maybe she thought the ink was bad for his skin?


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## waiting2bemommy (Dec 2, 2007)

no, there are lots of issues with my mom. I just started to wonder (as I often do when dealing wuth my mom) if I had gone out in left field or something. I just needed an impartial sounding board to validate that I am not a horrible mom for letting ds put thomas the train across his chest.









also I don't let them get yucky looking. I always use baby oil to get them off easily. we usually do it at bathtime. but, since my mom doesn't "believe"in them, I guess she thought the only way to get them off was to scrub my kid's skin raw.


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## hildare (Jul 6, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *waiting2bemommy* 

the implication (at least the way it came across to ds) was that "daddy's tattoor are bad." he also asked me if his dad was going to wash his tattoos off too.

Is it inappropriate to let ds have them? Am I doing something wrong?

I would personally be infuriated about the incident.
Those tattoos are POPULAR with children for one thing, so yes it's perfectly appropriate for your kid to want them. What is over the line inappropriate is someone scrubbing them off against his will.


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## kcstar (Mar 20, 2009)

With my background, I can see a lot of different sides to this issue.

My parents hated tattoos and thought they were bad.

Not only that, they were also against makeup, so much that in 2nd grade when my random gift exchange gift turned out to be a play makeup set, I traded it to another child for something different. (They were so proud of me then







)

Facepainting was out, and I'm sure temporary tattoos would be out.

It was a religious thing, in part. Partly having to do with the body being a sacred temple. Also, in part, because my dad took an anthropology course in college and decided that all body mutilation was equally wrong, whether decorative, or fashionable, or not.

I also recall having dinner with my uncles & cousins, where they had a clown doing facepainting and balloons. At the time, DS was 1 and way too young for a balloon, but we let her paint Elmo on his hand. My young cousins were allowed balloons but not facepaint. (Oddly enough, that Aunt & Uncle are Born-Again Christian, and my parents are Catholic, but on this facepainting issue they seem to agree.)

In adulthood, I pierced my ears but have remained tattoo free. My adult siblings have tats.

Those temporary tattoos, like facepainting, I don't see as a huge deal. DS hasn't asked for them yet, but he gets stamped at the gym, and once in a great while we've drawn with washable markers.

In summary, I kind of see where your mom was coming from in calling them "bad." Scrubbing him hard enough to leave marks is over the line. I would have preferred that she call you and ask about them first.

I'd also suggest asking her, for future reference, what the boundaries are on her apparent no tattoo policy for her house. Is facepainting okay? Stamps/markers /surface ink? At her house, she does get to set some rules.


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## terra-pip (Aug 30, 2008)

I don't agree that they get to set rules at their house regarding this. They can set rules about their personal belongings such as "jumping on the bed is okay at your house but we can't jump on grandmas bed" as one example. But no one can tell another person (even grandparents) that they can't wear temporary tattoos. It's a sticker. If the original poster is okay with her son playing with temp tattoos then the grandmother has no input period.

Being offeneded by this and calling it bad is so beyond ridiculous it's laughable. And to the original poster, no way should you feel that you're doing anything wrong by letting your kid play with such a common kid toy. Because that's all they are.

Sounds to me like the GM has issues with the fathers extensive tattoos and freaked on on the kid because images of an extensively tattooed grown up grandson starting flitting through her mind.

That's the real underlying issue. And still none of her business imo.

I personally would say something if my kid's nana washed their arm so hard and roughly that it was red and hurting. That's the other underlying problem here.

Unfortunately you may have to remove any fake tats before visits to ease tensions...what a pain. And all over a simple toy.


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## amma_mama (May 20, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *prothyraia* 
I would be *livid* if my parents A) scrubbed my child so hard their skin was damaged, and B) told them something that I had obviously allowed was "bad"

Me too. Mom would not be around my child unsupervised for a long time and I would tell her exactly why.


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## Teenytoona (Jun 13, 2005)

W2BM, considering your own abuse issues with your mom, I wonder if letting your boy spend the night there is a good idea.

But no I don't have a problem with temporary tattoos. I think they're fun, and they're temporary!


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## philomom (Sep 12, 2004)

Me and my dh would never get a real tattoo. But the sticker kind for kids? Those are just fun! My kids wear them to parties or to Halloween type things were everyone get dressed up.


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## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

DD loves tattoos. I put them on her when she asks. What's strange is the comments people make!! I mean, I'll show ppl pictures of DD and they're all like, "OMG is that a TATTOO!?!" like it's real or something. It's a kitten or a frog, people, it's not that big of a deal.

OP - I agree your mom was out of line taking off the tattoos. That's pretty harsh!


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## chfriend (Aug 29, 2002)

Neither dp nor I have tats. I can't for the life of me understand what might be "bad" about a temporary tattoo.

Tell g'ma to keep her scrub brush away from your kid.

Off to google temporary tatoo chemicals....


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## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

I don't have tatoos, but my dd loves temporary tats (her career aspiration is to be a tatoo artist!). I have no problem with kids having them, but even if I did, I would be furious if someone did that with my child. I would not be able to contain my anger about it, actually.


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## leighi123 (Nov 14, 2007)

Ds is allergic to them, so he cant have them! They also look gross after a couple days (rubbing alcohol gets them off though)

I did let him get a henna tattoo yesterday at the fair though, he wanted a football (no apparent reason, we dont watch/play football). Its on his foot.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kcstar* 

I'd also suggest asking her, for future reference, what the boundaries are on her apparent no tattoo policy for her house. Is facepainting okay? Stamps/markers /surface ink? At her house, she does get to set some rules.

I completely disagree. My kids' grandparents can make rules like no jumping on the couch, no yelling inside, no bothering the kitty. They don't get to make rules about my kids' appearance and they don't get to override my rules about what my kids can wear or other aspects of their appearance.


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## Marsupialmom (Sep 28, 2003)

What your mom did was abusive. I would limit my child's time with her. She had to have scrubbed purposely excessively hard. We have rarely had a temp tat hard to get off, especially if bought from a dollar store.

Your the mom, you set the rules about his appearance.


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

gees I came home to a tattooed BABY once. We had some tats for our business and dad and kids put tattoos on their belly buttons and decided the baby needed one on her belly...and if she needed one on her belly she needed them else where......too silly! We have lots of pictures of it.

My only rule for temp tats is that they put them some where they can be covered. They do look gross as they are wearing off. One year they got ready for Easter service in their beautiful head to toe coordinated dresses that I dropped a truck load of money so they would look perfect in ...except...there arms were covered with two week old temp tattoos. I was so ticked off. They knew the rule. I wish I had known about the baby oil then.


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## mtiger (Sep 10, 2006)

Grandma was wrong, and I'd have a chat with her. I don't think it rises to the level of "don't ever leave your child with her again!"

But... I would be equally annoyed by this (if I am reading it correctly):

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nextcommercial* 
They sell them in a package for $1. So, we buy one every now and then, and use them up while it's still a novelty. (*these are daycare kids, not mine*, so we go through them quickly)?

Uuummm... If I were leaving my child with you to care for, I really would not appreciate picking him/her up covered in temp tatts.

It cuts both ways.


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## waiting2bemommy (Dec 2, 2007)

well we went and picked up ds and.....grandma had removed them all again. However, his arms weren't bright red, although I haven't looked really closely (just pushed his sleeve up as I loaded him into the car) so as long as she did it with baby oil or something I guess I can't say much. She told SO who picked him up (I waited out in the car, didn't feel like talking to her) that eh is not to come over again while he is "tattooed up."







.

lilyka, I have a similar rule....nothing on the face. I don't know why, I jsut don't really like the idea of buzz lightyear (ds' current tattoo of choice) plastered across his forehead. I feel like the toy story 3 people should be paying him for advertising or something, i dunno.







totally irrational since he has toy story 3 on his arms and belly









My initial inclination is to be passive aggressive and continue to send him over there with the tattoos. But....since he is consistently being told over there taht tattoos are "bad" and "really, really not a nice thing to do" I don't want him to be confused, so I guess we will have to stop letting him have them if he is about to go to grandma's. I don't want to make my point at his expense.


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## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *waiting2bemommy* 
well we went and picked up ds and.....grandma had removed them all again. However, his arms weren't bright red, although I haven't looked really closely (just pushed his sleeve up as I loaded him into the car) so as long as she did it with baby oil or something I guess I can't say much. She told SO who picked him up (I waited out in the car, didn't feel like talking to her) that eh is not to come over again while he is "tattooed up."







.


So, uh, why would you want to bring him back there when she treats you and your child like that?


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *waiting2bemommy* 

My initial inclination is to be passive aggressive and continue to send him over there with the tattoos. But....since he is consistently being told over there taht tattoos are "bad" and "really, really not a nice thing to do" I don't want him to be confused, so I guess we will have to stop letting him have them if he is about to go to grandma's. I don't want to make my point at his expense.

You know, she may be (heck, she _is_) wrong and all that, but I think sending your kid over there at all, let alone sending him over there with tattoos after you know she's going to be mean and unreasonable is really unfairly setting him up to be hurt.







I don't understand why you'd do that at all.


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

She has some serious boundary issues. I would tell her that what you decide to let your child do with his body is your choice to make and not hers and if she doesn't stop taking them off and telling him they are bad you are going to end visits.


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## MaerynPearl (Jun 21, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *leighi123* 
(rubbing alcohol gets them off though)











it is CRUEL to scrub those things off! rubbing alcohol and a little patience is all it takes.

That said, Im totally okay with temporary tattoos. I have a couple permanent ones myself, it would be hypocritical to tell my kids that they should never get them...

instead, I tell them the truth... lol. You cant until you are 18, but before then you can settle for temporary ones.

Id have to say grandma was quite out of line, both with the unnecessary scrubbing and with telling him something was bad that obviously his own mother has no issue with.


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## Chamomile Girl (Nov 4, 2008)

Wait, I've read the whole thread and I am confused. Why don't you speak to her and tell her its none of her business if your DS has temp tats on parts of his body that are not even exposed. She had to have purposefully looked him over to determine he had them on his torso. Why? Why on earth is she making a point of this? And why are you just not allowing your son something he loves because it disturbs your mother? YOU are his mother not her...and I don't think the "my house my rules" applies AT ALL.

I don't get it...have you talked to her? What was your DP's reaction when he picked DS up?


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## GuildJenn (Jan 10, 2007)

I would be furious if my mother did that. If she were to have a no tattoo rule at her house then just call me to come get my son - don't scrub like that. It would be like cutting my kid's hair because you thought it was too long. It's not something someone should do without consulting with a parent.

I have no trouble with kiddie tattoos - I used them lots as a kid and I have no permanent tattoos anywhere. I also drew on my skin and stuff.


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## onyxravnos (Dec 30, 2006)

our kids totally have temp tattoos. DSD frequently frequently has one somewhere and DS likes to have them on his hand. I see no probs with them AT ALL. it's like wearing nail polish its just fun and pretty.

personally i would just mention to grandma how red ds was and how there isn't any need to rub them off. if it happen again i would make a stand (not because she removed them but because to remove them had she hurt ds)


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## odenata (Feb 1, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Chamomile Girl* 
Wait, I've read the whole thread and I am confused. Why don't you speak to her and tell her its none of her business if your DS has temp tats on parts of his body that are not even exposed. She had to have purposefully looked him over to determine he had them on his torso. Why? Why on earth is she making a point of this? And why are you just not allowing your son something he loves because it disturbs your mother? YOU are his mother not her...and I don't think the "my house my rules" applies AT ALL.

I don't get it...have you talked to her? What was your DP's reaction when he picked DS up?

Yes, this.

I'm







at this whole thing.


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

Three out of my four children are sporting temporary tattoos today. I don't think that there is anything wrong with letting children pretend they have tattoos.

Dh has ten real tattoos and I have three. On both of us, the tattoos aren't where they would be visible if we were dressed for work.


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## waiting2bemommy (Dec 2, 2007)

My SO did in fact say something to her today, and she said to him not to bring ds over with tattoos anymore. I think that this was just another way that she could use her own personal rules to single out my DP for mistreatment. According to ds he didn't want her to take off his tattoos and that he had some like daddy, and she told him tattoos are bad and took them off anyway. I think we are having issues again with the whole "he;s not the real dad" thing since he is not his bio father. However in ds' mind that's his dad and he certainly does try to be like him in many ways. Even if I'm not thrilled with some of my DP's tattoos, I think that the idea behind ds wanting to be like his daddy is not inherently bad, and besides, I. don't. care. about temporary tattoos.

But that's jut my parents. Growing up they had a running list of restrictions for me and they are constantly appalled at the "wrong" things that we allow ds to do.....play house, play doctor, play with the neighborhood kids, go to preschool, watch tv (no matter how limited or monitored), get temp tattoos, stay at a close friends house without me, and on and on. basically anything that smacks of "outside" influences (outside beign outside our little family unit) is bad and evil.







. She's come around on the preschool thing I think since she sees how happy it makes him to go to school. he comes home beaming on school days. But her basic philosophy is the same.

It's just very hard because my son is very close to his grandparents, but i'm not close to them, so the only way for him to see them is for me to drop him off for a visit. Also, that is the only break we ever get. We rarely leave dd there anymore for obvious reasons, but ds ASKS to go and spend the night. I don't want to put his grandparents in a bad light by telling him "they're bad you can't go there anymore." It's hard to know what to do, really.

ETA: oh and I think she saw them because ds spent the night and she probably gave him a bath.


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## confustication (Mar 18, 2006)

Is this the same woman who has historically been pretty toxic in general? If so, I would simply limit her contact with the kids to times you are able to supervise their interactions.

As for temporary tattoos- we love them around here.

One of my favorite pictures of DS 1 is this one:
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pi...&id=1593128659


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## waiting2bemommy (Dec 2, 2007)

confustication said:


> Is this the same woman who has historically been pretty toxic in general? QUOTE]
> 
> Yep, the one and only.
> 
> ...


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## kcstar (Mar 20, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
I completely disagree. My kids' grandparents can make rules like no jumping on the couch, no yelling inside, no bothering the kitty. They don't get to make rules about my kids' appearance and they don't get to override my rules about what my kids can wear or other aspects of their appearance.

I'll concede the point about parents, not grandparents deciding the kids' appearance.

I would still suggest, if it's possible (and it might not be in a toxic relationship), to figure out what Grandma's boundaries are in order to minimize the scrubbings her child receives.


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## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

Honestly, and I'm really not trying to be rude, but having read posts of yours in the past about the way your parents treated you as a child and how they have continued to treat you as an adult, I can't fathom why you would allow them to be around your sun at all, let alone spend the night with them without you there to protect him.


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *waiting2bemommy* 
She told SO who picked him up (I waited out in the car, didn't feel like talking to her) that eh is not to come over again while he is "tattooed up."







.

So why are you sending him over there? Do you need her for daycare? If so, then you might need to compromise. But if he's just visiting, why? Why would you want him to be around someone who implies that your partner is bad?


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## eepster (Sep 20, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *waiting2bemommy* 
She told SO who picked him up (I waited out in the car, didn't feel like talking to her) that eh is not to come over again while he is "tattooed up."







.

I'm hoping your SO told her that if she insisted on waiting till DS had no tatoos on to come over, she'll be waiting a long time before he will be coming over again.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *waiting2bemommy* 
It's just very hard because my son is very close to his grandparents, but i'm not close to them, so the only way for him to see them is for me to drop him off for a visit. Also, that is the only break we ever get. We rarely leave dd there anymore for obvious reasons, but ds ASKS to go and spend the night. I don't want to put his grandparents in a bad light by telling him "they're bad you can't go there anymore." It's hard to know what to do, really.

I think you need to talk to your DS about how nobody has a right to hurt him. Abused people often choose to go back to their abusers for whatever reason (security often) but it isn't good for them. If you truly believe that the relationship has actual positive value then you need to be there to protect him.

MIL and I haven't been on speaking terms for over 3 years. I doubt DS remembers her at all. For some reason though DS asks about seeing her (I think b/c he misses my mom who he was very close to before she died and thinks of MIL as his replacement grandma and imagines she will be like my mom was.) I have told him I don't know when he will get to see her. I certainly won't be letting him go over there without me though. I have concerns about not being able to protect him from her even if I'm there (last time we saw her she was abusive to him while I was cleaning up after DS made a very messy attempt to use the potty.) She has been given the opportunity to see him in a supervised public place and declined it. This is her only option, I will not risk her abusing him again.

If he wants to see GM, then set it up in a supervised safe way, don't just leave him alone with what sounds like extremely abusive manipulative people.


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## ~savah~ (Aug 24, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *confustication* 
Is this the same woman who has historically been pretty toxic in general? If so, I would simply limit her contact with the kids to times you are able to supervise their interactions.

As for temporary tattoos- we love them around here.

One of my favorite pictures of DS 1 is this one:
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pi...&id=1593128659









soooo cute.


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## VroomieMama (Oct 9, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
I completely disagree. My kids' grandparents can make rules like no jumping on the couch, no yelling inside, no bothering the kitty. They don't get to make rules about my kids' appearance and they don't get to override my rules about what my kids can wear or other aspects of their appearance.


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## childsplay (Sep 4, 2007)

I can't stand them. I don't like how they look on my kid's skin. I especially hate the way they look three days later -grimy and half rubbed off.

DD came home from school one day with a skull on her neck. I was livid.

But I don't like real tatoos either so maybe I'm biased.


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## Peony (Nov 27, 2003)

2 of my 3 almost always have either stamps (from gymnastics) or tattoos on their bodies. For the record, I am not a tattoo person nor is DH but we have no issues with fake ones. My only rule is that my kids don't put them on their face, anywhere else is fair game.

IMO, this is not something she gets to have a vote over, her child's body, your decision. She can either deal or not have him over. I would not keep sending him with tattoos, I think that is putting your DS in the middle of a battle between adults.


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## Quinalla (May 23, 2005)

Temporary tattoos are just that, temporary, and they are fine if you are ok with them. No different than face paint or dressing up for Halloween and that sort of thing. I think they are great personally, all the fun of a tattoo without worrying about it being a permanent choice. For me, I would draw the line at what the tattoos looked like and where they go (ie probably not on the face and that sort of thing as it will be distracting to others), but it sounds like you did that. I would have a talk with your Mom, she was way out of line.


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## DaughterOfKali (Jul 15, 2007)

I let my son wear them occasionally but I'm concerned about the quality of the inks. I've heard rumors (irl so I don't have any studies to quote) about heavy metals in the inks/colors. So yeah, I get a little nervous.


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## heathenmom (Mar 9, 2005)

IMO this isn't about temporary tattoos at all, but about control.

My grandmother is a manipulative, controlling person. She told multiple people in our VERY, VERY small town that DH is evil, that we are in a cult, and that the only reason he had children with me was to tie me to him. I tried and tried early in our marriage to keep a civil relationship with her, as family is VERY important to us. But she felt that she could make all manner of commentary on our religion and lifestyle with no repercussions and still have free access to her great-grandchildren. We FINALLY put a stop to it this past year and have had no contact with her for months.

Here's how I've come to think about it. I didn't create the problem with my grandmother; it's all on her. I can't change her. What I CAN do is protect my children from someone who tells vicious lies about their father. My mom tried to protect me and my siblings from her by shielding us from the truth while still allowing us to be around her, and we grew up believing that she was the perfect grandmother. She made the best decision she knew to make, but I'm choosing to protect MY kids by cutting off contact with a toxic person.

This is a pretty long-winded post







... what I'm basically trying to say is that it sounds like your little boy needs protecting from this woman. It's up to you to decide how to provide that protection. Personally, I don't allow anybody who can't be respectful of my husband to have access to our children. Period.


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## sewchris2642 (Feb 28, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DaughterOfKali* 
I let my son wear them occasionally but I'm concerned about the quality of the inks. I've heard rumors (irl so I don't have any studies to quote) about heavy metals in the inks/colors. So yeah, I get a little nervous.









When I looked up the history of temporary tattoos, I found out that there are 2 kinds--ones for kids and ones for adults. The ones for kids are made from food based dyes for the most part and are harmless. It's the ones made for adults that are more questionable. And those are more long lasting. Kid tattoos are made to come off with the frequent washings that kids get because they get so dirty when playing.


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## Adaline'sMama (Apr 16, 2010)

No, you didnt do anything wrong! Your kiddo, your desicion. So what if he grows up and gets tattoos like his daddy? Is your mom going to scrub those off? Or scorn him for getting them? My family is very very opposed to tattoos. I dont think that is any reason to not put tattoos on the kid.

My mother literally stopped me right before I walked down the aisle to bitch me out for "scribbling all over God's property" because she noticed the tatoos that Ive kept covered for the past 5 years (on my feet and wrists). I took DD to an arboretum when she was 4 months old and we put a temp tattoo on her arm. The picture from that day was so cute. We put her in the grass and the sun was shining on her perfectly. My mom saw the pic and said "That makes me want to throw up. I cant believe that you'd teach a child that tattoos are okay.".....this among many other reasons is why Im trying so hard to cut the ties.

Ill bet your kiddo was so cute with his little Thomas tracks on his chest. How adorable


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## terra-pip (Aug 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Adaline'sMama* 
No, you didnt do anything wrong! Your kiddo, your desicion. So what if he grows up and gets tattoos like his daddy? Is your mom going to scrub those off? Or scorn him for getting them? My family is very very opposed to tattoos. I dont think that is any reason to not put tattoos on the kid.

My mother literally stopped me right before I walked down the aisle to bitch me out for "scribbling all over God's property" because she noticed the tatoos that Ive kept covered for the past 5 years (on my feet and wrists). I took DD to an arboretum when she was 4 months old and we put a temp tattoo on her arm. The picture from that day was so cute. We put her in the grass and the sun was shining on her perfectly. My mom saw the pic and said "That makes me want to throw up. I cant believe that you'd teach a child that tattoos are okay.".....this among many other reasons is why Im trying so hard to cut the ties.

Ill bet your kiddo was so cute with his little Thomas tracks on his chest. How adorable









I can't even begin to fathom anyone saying things like this to me about my children...I would be one mad mama bear. And I agree, family or not, toxic people need to have a limited if that role in a child's life.

And I've been there being judged about my tattoos, I've been judged for having henna on my hand at one point. NO ONE has the right to tell or judge another person about what they choose to do with their bodies. Temp tats are toys, permenant tats, peircing etc are for kids when they are 18 or older imo. But it's their choice.


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## blizzard_babe (Feb 14, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *terra-pip* 
I can't even begin to fathom anyone saying things like this to me about my children...I would be one mad mama bear.

Ditto... and I have the mama bear tattoo to prove it







.

But really, it seems like this woman's opinion on temporary tattoos is almost irrelevant. It's just the issue she's choosing to use to make a silly, nasty stand.


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## jenP (Aug 22, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blizzard_babe* 
Ditto... and I have the mama bear tattoo to prove it







.

But really, it seems like this woman's opinion on temporary tattoos is almost irrelevant. It's just the issue she's choosing to use to make a silly, nasty stand.

I would love to see that Mama Bear tattoo!

And, that is a good point, that it is not about the G'ma's opinion on tattoos. It is about her badmouthing the child's father to the child, making the child feel bad about himself, and physically assaulting the child.

Jen


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