# Placental abruption - lost son 29W



## mirtodd (Dec 2, 2001)

One week ago I haad a placental abruption and subsequent emerg. c-section. We lost our DS.

I can't believe how hard this is. I feel a shell of myself, and can't imagine how hard it is going to be to return to work next week. I break down at the mere thought of a baby... not very functional.

Has anyone had a successful pregnancy after a complete abruption?


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## maryjane (Jul 13, 2004)

mama. I'm so very sorry for your loss.


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## MaryLang (Jun 18, 2004)

I'm so sorry. I can't imagine and I don't really have words for you, other than I'm so sorry this happened to your son and I'm so sorry this happened to you and your family.


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## hannybanany (Jun 3, 2006)

Oh, I am so very sorry for your loss


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## punkrawkmama27 (Aug 31, 2007)

I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers


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## mzfern (Nov 16, 2004)

How awful







I'm so sorry.


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## leobabe (Dec 29, 2007)

i'm so, so very sorry for your loss.
my heart is with you.


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## chaoticzenmom (May 21, 2005)

I'm so sorry









I had a successful pregnancy after a stillbirth that was undetermined. The placenta looked like it may have detatched, so maybe it was an abruption. I've had 3 healthy babies since.

The hardest part about returning to work is that people who don't know about the stillbirth will say things like "weren't you pregnant last week?" They really don't do the math and it never occurs to them what happened. So, the easiest response I had was "It didn't work out, but we're optimistic for the future." Most of the time, that let me deal with my emotions and change the subject. Usually, they'll say "oh, I'm sorry" and not ask for details.

I hope you feel ok soon.
Lisa


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## meredyth0315 (Aug 16, 2007)

I'm so very sorry for your loss. Keeping you & your family in my prayers


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## DreamWeaver (May 28, 2002)

I am so sorry.








Is it possible for you to work from home for a while, or take longer time off?

Sending you strength and all the good wishes. Praying for healing for you.








for your baby


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## namaste_mom (Oct 21, 2005)

I'm very sorry for your loss.

Regarding work, do you not get the 6 weeks that you would have had after you delivered?

Its been 2 months for me after a 40 wk loss and I'm still not functional.


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## skybluepink02 (Nov 9, 2005)

I'm so very sorry.


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## barose (Dec 6, 2006)

I am so sorry for your loss. Sorry, I cant answer your questions, but I couldnt read this and not respond.


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## Amydoula (Jun 20, 2004)

I am so very sorry for your loss.


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## earthmama369 (Jul 29, 2005)

Oh, mama, I'm so sorry.


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## ~Katrinka~ (Feb 4, 2007)

I am so sorry for your overwhelming loss.








About work, I also think you need more time off. You had a C-section and should get 8 weeks of medical leave, regardless of your emotional state. I took off about 5 weeks after my loss, and going back to work was still awfully difficult. As Lisa said, you can pull yourself together enough to barely function at work, and then you run into someone who can't do math who says "Oh! WOW! What did you HAVE?". You need time to grieve and build up your emotional strength before you are subjected to that kind of pain.
About subsequent pregnancies after an abruption...I had two full-term pregnancies after having an abruption. I lost the next baby, for another reason, and this is my 3rd pregnancy after an abruption.
Wishing you peace and healing, and eventually...hope.


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## joshs_girl (Dec 8, 2006)

Oh mama - I am so so sorry for your loss


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## apmama2myboo (Mar 30, 2005)

so sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my son at 19 1/2 weeks, so i was hearing some of that afterwards from thoughtless stupids (the "weren't you just pregnant?" questions). i hope you get an answer to your question, but i have no idea about placental abruption. take care of yourself.


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## zonapellucida (Jul 16, 2004)

so sorry for your loss


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## mirtodd (Dec 2, 2001)

I'm the sole bread earner at the moment, so I need to go back. Also, there are too many baby comercials on tv - I can't sit at home at remain sane looking at them


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## runes (Aug 5, 2004)

i am so, so sorry for your loss.


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## Vermillion (Mar 12, 2005)

I am so sorry for your loss.

Strength and healing to you


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## mirtodd (Dec 2, 2001)

Wulff will be cremated at the begining of next week. TG I have a great DH, he has taken care of all of that for me and he has run interference when people have dropped by the house. I have not been able to face anyone I know yet, I know I'll break down if they look at me the wrong way or say anything. I broke down twice in the grogery store yesterday.

It is going to kill me going back to work on Monday. I'm hoping that I can stay holed up in my office and not deal with anyone.

as an aside, my incision and boobs are feeling much better, although it really hurts to sneeze (coughing is painful but more tolerable). I can't fit into my pre-preggy clothes (7 lbs to go) yet, but I can't imagine wearing maternity ones... I'll have to see about venturing to the mall to pick up a few pairs of stretchy panys or something to tide me over.


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## mommyfied (Jun 25, 2007)




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## EricaE (Aug 1, 2003)

I am so sorry


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## HoosierDiaperinMama (Sep 23, 2003)

I'm so sorry for the loss of your son, mama.









I had a placental abruption @ 37 weeks and my dd was stillborn. There were other complications that went along with the abruption and eventually led to me being diagnosed with 2 clotting disorders. I got pregnant again very quickly and miscarried. I have not been able to get pg for 2 years now. We are adopting from Haiti and have given up hope of being able to carry another baby to term and have a living child as the end result.

I'm very sorry.
















Wulff


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## mirtodd (Dec 2, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HoosierDiaperinMama* 
I'm so sorry for the loss of your son, mama.









I had a placental abruption @ 37 weeks and my dd was stillborn. There were other complications that went along with the abruption and eventually led to me being diagnosed with 2 clotting disorders. I got pregnant again very quickly and miscarried. I have not been able to get pg for 2 years now. We are adopting from Haiti and have given up hope of being able to carry another baby to term and have a living child as the end result.

I'm very sorry.
















Wulff










How did they diagnose your clotting disorders?

Congratulations on your adoption,

Mir


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## mirtodd (Dec 2, 2001)

We were able to pick up his ashes last week. I need to find an appropriate urn and a nice storage box to keep everything in.

God this is hard.


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## happylemon (Nov 5, 2006)

I am so sorry for your loss


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## HoosierDiaperinMama (Sep 23, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mirtodd* 
How did they diagnose your clotting disorders?

Congratulations on your adoption,

Mir

I'm sorry I'm just now seeing this! 15 vials of blood for genetic testing and a high risk OB visit and they found 2 clotting disorders. It was pretty easy to get but expensive, however insurance covered most of it.


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## ChesapeakeBorn (Jun 23, 2007)

My heart breaks for you, mama. May you find comfort, peace, and hope. We are here for you.


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## honeybunch2k8 (Jan 14, 2008)

I'm so sorry.


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## Ornery (May 21, 2007)

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

We lost our daughter to partial placental abruption at between 21-23 weeks last August.

I have no words of comfort, just sending a lot of healing your way.


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## gratefulbambina (Mar 20, 2005)

I'm so sorry


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## Megan73 (May 16, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mirtodd* 
One week ago I haad a placental abruption and subsequent emerg. c-section. We lost our DS.

I can't believe how hard this is. I feel a shell of myself, and can't imagine how hard it is going to be to return to work next week. I break down at the mere thought of a baby... not very functional.

Has anyone had a successful pregnancy after a complete abruption?

I am so, so sorry for your loss.
My baby died at term from a fetal-maternal hemorrhage, which - we can't be sure - may have been caused by an abruption. I'm now 13w pregnant.
The first few days back at work - I had 16 weeks maternity leave - were rough because people kept asking about the baby.
What really helped - I just wish my boss had thought of it sooner! - was sending out an e-mail to everyone at the organization telling them that my baby had died.


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## mirtodd (Dec 2, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HoosierDiaperinMama* 
I'm sorry I'm just now seeing this! 15 vials of blood for genetic testing and a high risk OB visit and they found 2 clotting disorders. It was pretty easy to get but expensive, however insurance covered most of it.

They have run antibody testing on me so far, and that came back negative.

I went to a new OB on Friday, and she said that after 6 months, when we try again, that she will send me to a high-risk OB for a consult (I have ulcerative colitis that flares when I'm pg), to see if there is anything else that I need to do. I don't fit into any of the risk groups, so the abruption is unexplained.

Tomorrow will mark 4 weeks since it happened. Everything feels so empty. This is something that I'll never understand.


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## HoosierDiaperinMama (Sep 23, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mirtodd* 
They have run antibody testing on me so far, and that came back negative.

I went to a new OB on Friday, and she said that after 6 months, when we try again, that she will send me to a high-risk OB for a consult (I have ulcerative colitis that flares when I'm pg), to see if there is anything else that I need to do. I don't fit into any of the risk groups, so the abruption is unexplained.

Tomorrow will mark 4 weeks since it happened. Everything feels so empty. This is something that I'll never understand.

Mama, if you plan on ttc'ing again, you need this testing. Even if everything comes back negative, at least you've done your part to be proactive. In a perfect world, I think it should be offered up front and insurance should cover every bit of it. It would save a lot of babies (and mamas).

The abruption may very well go unexplained, but it might not. I have MTHFR and PAI 1 and both are linked to stillbirths and miscarriages. The clot in my DD's cord had formed over time and it finally just cut off everything to her which caused the placenta to completely dissinegrate. At least we know, but it still doesn't make it any easier to cope with.

I'm so sorry.







I know how hard this is and I know the lonely, empty feeling. My DD would be 2 1/2 now and I can say that although you will never stop missing your child or forget the pain, it gets easier to swallow over time. I promise you this and I know right now at 4 weeks out it is very, very hard to see softer days ahead. Much peace and love to you.
















Wulff


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## punkrawkmama27 (Aug 31, 2007)

I am so sorry for your loss. YOu and your family are in my thoughts and prayers


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## Plady (Nov 20, 2001)

mama, I am so sorry for your loss. I remember how hard it is to be out in public after a loss. I wish our culture had some tradition like wearing a black arm band or something so that people would know we were in pain and could treat us extra gently.
I'm sending you prayers for peace.


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## mirtodd (Dec 2, 2001)

I have not been able to get through the grocery store yet without crying. Too many babies in there.

I can't really talk about everything without breaking down. It is all still too raw. Everything is hard, I refuse to wear maternity clothes, but only excercise pant fit - so it is like life is in limbo. I have 5 lbs to go to get down to my starting weight, but I'd really like to lose 15 to get back to my normal weight (I had to take a round of prednisone right before I got pregnant, and that made me gain 10 lbs) - hopefully once my cesarean heals, I can lose it and feel like myself again.

When my due date comes around next month is going to be particularly hard. We were just not prepared for this.


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## HoosierDiaperinMama (Sep 23, 2003)




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## momz3 (May 1, 2006)

We lost our little girl almost 2 yrs ago to placental abruption and uterine rupture, my heart goes out to you and your family


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## ColoradoMama (Nov 22, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mirtodd* 
When my due date comes around next month is going to be particularly hard. We were just not prepared for this.

Of course not. Nobody ever is. It sucks. I'm so sorry. I hope you can find some peace.


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## Just Me (Feb 27, 2007)

I could not read this and not reply. In 1990, I had toxaemia and had an abruption. My son was resussed and survived, thankfully. Second pregancy (1993) was textbook perfect. Third child (2000), I had a sudden abruption and my daughter was born asleep at 25 weeks gestation. My fourth child,I began having the symptoms of another abruption 6 1/2 weeks to my due date. I had a healthy daughter, as my midwives and doctor were prepared for the possiblity and on their toes. That was in 2001. In 2003, I again began having symptoms and was hospitalised. They induced me and I delivered . A look at the placenta showed it had been detaching, and they caught it in time. I had other issues with pregancy one and five as well though (hypermemeis in first one, and high blood pressure n the fifth, plus my fifth baby had had a stroke in utero) So, the answer is, yes, you CAN have a successful pregancy after, and even a "normal" one, but its best to form a relationshp with a good doctor who will keep a very sharp eye on you.

I really feel for you. I had what can only be described as a near emotional breakdown afterwards.I could not watch anything that ahd small children or babies in it, I fell aprt if I saw a stroller with a baby in it. The worst thing was when we were out and it was close to my original due date and we saw a newborn in the same style stroller I had had picked out. I was a right basket case. Time did help me heal, as did having my lovely daughter the following year, followed by her brother. I hope you find peace in time too.


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