# So frustrated - I'm shaking with anger



## JavaBean (Feb 7, 2004)

I don't know where to start. I'm having one of those moments where I had to put DS in his crib and walk away lest I do something I'll regret later.

I am at the end of my ropes. I'm in tears because I am so wound up and I have so much pent up... anger? frustration?... inside of me screaming to be let out.

We've been having sleep issues for the past 5-6 months. At first it was constant waking every 60-90 minutes. Then it went to waking 3-4 times a night BUT one waking session lasted 2-3 hours. Then the waking session lengthened to 3-4 hours, sometimes with a 1-2 hour session on top of that. His bedtime is between 7-7:30pm.

Now (perhaps Someone up there took pity on me) things got a tiny bit better: he's waking up 1-2 times, lasting 2-3 hours. That's if we're lucky.

He's just UP, talking, playing, what have you. I have tried rocking, nursing, co-sleeping, patting his bottom. Now I'm resorting to Sleepytime tea with dinner and more often than not, a spray (or two) of King Bio Sleep Aid. It doesn't seem to be working. On really desperate nights (the 3+ hour nights), I do Benadryl.

Earlier, I thought "at least his naps weren't affected". HAH! Serves me right for even thinking it. The past 3 days it's been hell trying to get him to nap. I nurse to sleep and now for naps, he's wide awake. I'll rock him for 45-90 minutes... and get a measly 30-45 minute nap. I go in there and rock him AGAIN for another 45 minutes to get an additional 20 minutes.

He's tired. His eyes are puffy. There are 10 pound bags under his eyes.

I don't know what to do. Today I had it. I sat in the stupid glider and rocked for an hour and 15 minutes. He lay in my arms yawning, looking around, babbling... yawning. BUT HE WON'T GO TO SLEEP. It was over 4 hours since his last nap (he's put down 3 hours after the AM nap) so he should be tired. Hell, I'M tired, the DOG is tired, the CATS are tired. EVERYONE'S tired. Except for him. Now it's 5:00pm (I've been trying to get him to nap since 3:15pm). Do I still try to get a nap? Or should I say forget it and go for a super early bedtime? He woke from his morning nap at 12:30pm. I can't believe he won't nap.

I don't know what to do. He's crying now in his crib and quite frankly, I can't bring myself to care overly much. Deep inside, I'm hoping that this crying spell will tire him out to sleep later. I am so sick and tired of everything. I am at the end of my ropes. When we come back from vacation next week, I think we're going to move on to CIO. It's apparent that the AP approach isn't working.


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## bunny's mama (Nov 19, 2001)

2







2







2 ooooohhhhh you poor poor sleep-deprived mama. i have so been in your shoes and it is simply awful. i got so tired and frustrated and i was sure it was the AP that was the cause of my troubles. but ya know what? babies do wacky stuff. they sleep, they don't sleep, they nap for 10 minutes after you spend an hour getting them down, they nap 2 hours when you think they'll never sleep at all...and it's all ever changing.

my dd woke up about every hour for the whole first year of her life. i was a wreck (and so was she, really). so we nightweaned her at a year (using the plan at www.drjaygordon.com), which really helped cut down on the wakings, and we also started a very rigid pre-bedtime routine. then at 16 mos. old, she miraculously started to sleep straight thru from about 11 pm til 7 am. now she's nearly 4 and she goes from 7:30 pm til 7:30 am. so there's hope! she also wasn;t much of a napper, but now she naps great for at least an hour (this started when i got pregnant and started napping in the big bed with her.)

anyway, small consolation now when you need sleep NOW, i realize. but i just wanted you to know that they DO outgrow this kind of thing, so there's definitely light at the end of the tunnel.

i do think there is something in between CIO and what you've been doing. i suggest you get elizabeth pantley's book "the no cry sleep solution" it is all about establishing a solid, structured routine for naps and bedtime. that's really what worked for us ultimately. there are also somegood threads here in this forum about it (search on NCSS or pantley).

and most of all, take a few slow, deep breaths, and be gentle with yourself, dear mama...this too shall pass.


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## JavaBean (Feb 7, 2004)

Thanks Bunny. I keep telling myself he'll out grow it but man, it's tough when you're jolted awake every few hours. I just need some time to myself. That's all I'm asking! I used to be my own person with my own thoughts. Now I'm DH's wife, DS's Mom. I don't mind these roles - I embrace them.

But I just need time to sit on the toilet to think deep thoughts, start a load of laundry (and finish it in the same day), make some breakfast. I'd like to eat it too while it's still hot, but I know I'm pushing it.

I feel like I've lost myself. And with that, I can't be the best wife and mom I can be. I can't recharge. And I feel so alone in my own little sleepless world where everyone wants a piece of my time when all I want is to be left alone for 60 minutes.

Oi, here I am babbling.

Oh, I wanted to mention: DS self night-weaned at 6 months. When I offer him at night, it's out of desperation to get him back to sleep. He half heartedly takes it - really, it's just to humor me since he doesn't even drain one side.


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## balrog (Apr 3, 2003)

Maybe you are already doing this...

Have you tried, when he wakes at night and wants to play, putting him in a playpen or crib, in a dim or dark room, with toys to play with, while you lie down on a couch or other bed-type thing in the same room?

That way he can play safely, you are close if he needs you, and you can get some additional rest. Your sleep will be very light, but it will still help. And he will see, "Oh, Mama is pretty boring at night," and maybe eventually he will decide that night is too boring to stay up for.

Meanwhile -- hang in there. My DS (21 mos) wakes up every 2 hours all ngiht long (he does go back to sleep if I nurse him for a while), so I know the "Argh, I am so tired that I am not a good mama any more" feeling.


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## wemoon (Aug 31, 2002)

Well at a year I would think that he would only nap once during the day. Mine would take one hour or so long nap in the afternoon and they have never had a bedtime of 7:30. I think it is too early really, especially in the summer. Just like our bodies adjust with the light/darkness factor of our Earth being in motion, so does a babies body.

I would try cutting out all naps if one nap is still having this night time wake-ups. It would be better to be with an awake baby while everyone is awake, than when everyone should be sleeping.

Here are some ideas (all taken from The Baby Book, I just happened to have it close to me): Sleep close to baby, Wear down in a sling, Nurse down, Massage, Rock, Cuddle, warm bath, soothing music or white noise, take a car ride, try a swing if necessary (I don't recommend this...not a fan of mechanical moms, but it would be better than CIO), use cotton sleepwear, and talk with your DR.

The last may be the point you are at. Maybe your son has some allergies or some other thing in his environment that is affecting him. Have you talked with your DR at all?

Please don't let your son cry, he needs his mommy.


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## Isis (Aug 2, 2004)

I was just reading about this in Dr. Sears book. He suggests using another loved one as a CIO method. In other words, when you put baby to bed you tell baby that it's sleep time for baby and sleep t ime for mama and if the baby wakes up, make mom unavailable. Have dh or another member close to baby rock, walk baby back to sleep without giving any milk.
I dunno if you've tried this or anything but just thought I'd throw it out there just in case. (btw, I think he started this around the age of your ds. I don't think it's good to do it when their too young cause then they DO need mama). I think he talks more about night weaning and this but it might work for your situation?!







2 to you mama.


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## Tyleah (Sep 10, 2004)

The last idea of having someone else put child back to sleep is what finally worked for my son and now daughter. DD (1 yr old) still has night wakings, but if they are less than 4 hours apart, then I give her dad a nudge and have him go pat her on the bottom, sing to her softly and this has helped increase the amount of time of sleep that I get and she gets a human who loves her to let her know it is still sleep time and she needs to continue with sleeping.

It is hard to give advice in this area b/c they change so much and what you need to do is different at different times. I tried the co sleeping, swinging, nursing, singing, rocking, slinging, feed them right before bed till they have to be stuffed etc... methods till I was like you - just outright pissed that nothing worked. I found myself down in my kitchen one night at about 4 am after too many night wakings just slamming the hell out of an apple into my sink - watching it break and smash into little peices. I just kept picking it up and resmashing it to get the anger out. I can feel this again as I write and it is horrible.

I have to say - and this is probably very unpopular of me - that I think Dr. Sears and all his flowery descriptions of how easy it is for mother to co sleep with child attached to her breast is about as patronizing as they get. I'd like to see him make it through night after night of being sucked on while you lay as motionless as possible on your side so that if the dear one is asleep you don't wake him!

I guess I write this to say, like the others - this nastiness really will pass. The child whose night wakings let me to attack fruit at 4am now sleeps blissfully through the night from 730-8pm to 730-8am and is 4yrs old. He refuses naps and that is ok with me. He gets up to pee and sometimes join us in bed which is great b/c at least I don't have to go to his room anymore! Check out babysandman.com - Michael Quarles. He is a dad who like us wanted sleep and not a CIO answer. It has helped me with dd. Bless You!!!


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## ryssann (Jun 25, 2004)

I have a non-sleeper as well. He is now 8 he is awake as I type. He is the most strong willed, non-sleeping child I have ever met. I have to just accept this, it's just who he is. We tried everything, we shared sleep, I wore him in a sling, (I had the Dr Sears book too). At 2 1/2 after listening to just let him CIO, he'll get tired and go to sleep, I was where you are now. He was able to scream at the top of his lungs, at the verge of passing out or throwing up for over an hour. We were being followed by a developmentalist because he was a NICU baby, I retold this story at an appointment, his answer, Don't do that again. He said do what it takes, car rides, music, he even said I'm not opposed to a TV in his room.

We didn't put a TV in his room, we put a gate on the door in his room. I know we did those things, I didn't let him CIO again, (it wasn't good for anyone, and it didn't work) other than that, I can't remember what we did. But, it didn't last forever.

So, I can remember being where you are now and although I can't tell you what did work, I might be able to save you from going through 1 hour plus of crying for no reason. Hang in there, and recruit others to help if you can, you do need time and rest.


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## lucsmama (May 6, 2004)

i know it is hard, but my advice is to go with the flow. i am thinking particularly of the new napping issues. every child is different, which of course you know







my ds started cutting out his second nap at 11 months. i thought like you did at first, it has been four hours he must be tired, but he just wasn't anymore. so i stopped trying to put him down for that second nap. then magically the one nap he did take started getting longer and longer. so by 12 months he was taking one good two hour nap everyday. that is such a nice break for me. he is now 14 months and not a great sleeper (never has been







, he sleeps 2-3 hours at a time if i am lucky. but he continues to take one 2 to 3 hour nap everyday and i get time to myself. it doesn't help me get more sleep at night, but i can always nap with him if i am really tired from the nighttime. anyway, hope that helps.

stacey


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## famousmockngbrd (Feb 7, 2003)

I also wanted to tell you there is light at the end of the tunnel. I know right now it feels like you will just never get a good night's sleep again. Or even if you know that you will, it just seems so far off and you want to sleep now! Believe me, I have been there. My DS was a "good sleeper" at first - slept throught the night at 8 weeks, the whole 9 yards. Everyone was jealous of me. Then, around 10 months, it all started to go downhill. He would only wake up once but he'd be up for 3 hours sometimes. I was so frustrated. I tried everything. I can really relate to the apple abuser, lol. It was a dark time, and not just because it was the middle of the night. Ugh, I can remember it so well... I used to rock him to sleep and I'd be standing there in the dark in the living room with the CD player on softly playing music and rocking him and rocking him and rocking him until I thought my back would break. If I brought him into our room to sleep in our bed he'd just crawl all over us for 2 hours and then poor DH would have to get up in the AM and go to work tired. I tried putting him in his crib and lying on the floor and pretending to sleep, but that just made him upset and one night he actually climbed out of his crib and fell to the floor, trying to get to me!







I never resorted to full on CIO but that was pretty close.







I made some bad decisions but I chalk it up to how desperate and sleep deprived I was.

Anyway. Turned out DS had fluid in his ears and kept getting ear infections. I knew he'd had them but what I didn't realize was the pressure in his ears was waking him up, even when he wasn't actually in pain from a full blown infection. Once we cured his ear infections, his sleep problems cleared up like magic. I don't know if that is the case with you or maybe he has allergies or something like another poster suggested, but if he seems tired and isn't sleeping I would take him to the doctor to rule out a physical cause first.

If he checks out OK, then I would move on to what Wemoon and lucsmama said about cutting back on naps. I bet he could get by on one nap a day, and that nap might turn out to be longer - DS used to take two 45 minute naps, but when I started just putting him down for one, it gradually got longer until he would sleep for about 2 hours, usually. You might also try putting him to bed a little later, say 8:00.

Good luck - I really hope things get better soon.


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## JavaBean (Feb 7, 2004)

Thank you ladies, for all your words of encouragement! The moms I talk to IRL don't seem to GET what I'm going through. Either they all have babies that are perfect or they just look at me like I'm crazy for not letting DS CIO 5 months ago.

This afternoon he cried for 30 minutes. I needed that time to regroup and gather my thoughts (and temper). I have a video monitor that I turned the sound off - and when I turned the sound back on, turns out he wasn't crying after all. His babbling/talking skills have really kicked up several knotches lately. Anyway, I went in and rocked him again and he ended up taking a 25 minute catnap.

Took me almost an hour to put him to sleep for the night though. Hopefully there won't be too many interruptions tonight.

The thought that he may be going down to 1 nap did cross my mind. I was under the impression that it wasn't until later (18 months or so) that toddlers did that.

I was concerned about fluids in his ear - I even took him to the Ped last month to rule that and any other problems out. Turns out DS is totally healthy. Which on the one hand was a huge relief but on the other was a bit of a downer since there wasn't a problem I could fix.

As for talking to the Ped - I have spoken to him before when all this started. I was told (you guys are going to love this) that it was MY problem. The baby is going to do the baby thing and cry at night. All babies do that. How I react to it is entirely up to me. Since I'm letting it bother me, then it's MY problem. He (the ped) told me to let him CIO and after a few days DS will learn to stay asleep.

ugh. That's the only glitch in our Dr-Patient relationship. He's not an AP kind of Dr. But he's great in everything else. I'm trying to decide if that's enough for me or if I should find a more AP-pro ped.

Again, thanks for all your replies. If you have any other thoughts as to how I can better handle this, I'd love to hear it. FWIW, DS doesn't cry at night. He wakes up to play and talk. His crib is in our room so he's always yoo-hooing us to come play with him. We play dead, of course, so then he starts banging on the wall and shaking the crib. DH has told me to just leave DS to play since he's not fussing. The one time I did, he was up 4.5 hours playing and talking to himself.

*UN*-believable!


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## Lisa Lubner (Feb 27, 2004)

my oldest two kids BOTH needed their naps cut down at an early age... when i got to where you are (i.e. laying down with them for 45 minutes + before they went to sleep) was when i knew it was time. and for a while they would go back and forth... some days they really needed the nap, but the days where they made it through the day without one, they went to sleep early (and in a matter of minutes). my daughter just turned two a few months ago, and it has been a LONG time since she's napped during the day (at all). when she does, it doesn't matter how long i rock her/lie down with her... she can stay up till 1am easily.

three other suggestions...
ONE, uncle val.







the baby-sized dosage seems to help my kids stay asleep once they go to bed.

TWO, futon... you can roll over and get in and out of bed all you want without disturbing your little one. (no bouncy springs)

THREE, hire a babysitter, or recruit a trusted relative/friend to come over and watch your little one while you nap (or shower, or exercise, or whatever)... i am a MANIAC if i don't get a chance to recharge.


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## wemoon (Aug 31, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JavaBean*

Took me almost an hour to put him to sleep for the night though. Hopefully there won't be too many interruptions tonight.


The thing I would like to mention is that maybe you should try NOT *putting him to sleep*. Kids WILL sleep, every human needs to sleep. I think if sleeping was made less of a struggle/issue, it might come easier. It is not beyond thinking that a one year old would have a desire to stay up to see what goes on at night. You could try just holding him while you browse your forums online. Many times my kids fell asleep on me while I was on the computer. What about some videos? I'm not a fan of major TV viewing, but it does help my kids to calm down at night and be still so it isn't rowdiness at 9:30 at night. My kids are allowed to stay up as late as I do, they have been up till midnight with me before.

I'm sure I'll hear the *well I need ME time* deal.... yes I know, everyone needs some time to themselves. Trust me it DOES get better as they get older. You are a mother of a baby right now, who needs you. Just flow with it, trying changing your mindset that this very special time is your ME time. He won't stay that little for very long, try to bask in the joy of having this lovely little boy in your life. I know it all sounds *woo-wooey*, but honestly, it was the only thing that worked for me. Your DR may be partically right.... not that in you need to let your child cry, I think that is horribly wrong, but maybe you do need to try to think a different way and allow yourself to just go with what happens.

On more thing







Do you take naps with your son? I always did when they were a year and under. I was so tired from being up at night and having my energy drained during the day that I would take naps with them. Those naps were longer, instead of 30 min naps it was 1.5 hrs or more. I felt better and my kids felt better.


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## brewgirl (Sep 22, 2004)

Not sure if you're still checking this, but I wanted to offer you some encouragement as well. I have a non-sleeper too and can really relate to the feelings of frustration and anger you're going through. Luckily we're past most of that (I hope!) but as she's only 16 months, I'm sure that I have more fun coming my way.









For me, it's always been important to have a physical outlet for my frustration - a fast walk with the stroller, a good bounce on the yoga ball, dancing with the baby to my favorite tunes... Just some way to safely let that anger out. I have to give you a pat on the back for knowing when to put your baby down so you could cool off. I just can't think of anything to say except I've been there.

One other thing that really helped me was to limit the time that I try to put her down for a nap. After one hour of serious trying, I give up. This helps to keep me from feeling like a slave to naps/sleep attempts. If she needs to go down later, that's fine.

Good luck and hang in there. Sleep whenever you can - while he naps, when he goes down for the night, doze on the couch while he's playing, etc.

The sleep deprivation can't last forever, right? Right???!!!


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## thistle (Aug 10, 2002)

My dd and LOTS of dks seem to have slleping trouble right around 1 year. Is he walking yet? I have heard SOOOOOOOO many mammas complain about their dks havign horrible sleep right around the time they started to walk.

It could just mean a milestone is coming

BTDT

thistle


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## simonee (Nov 21, 2001)

neither of my children needed more than one nap at that age. DD, now 5, napped for one hour tops and then slept about 9 hours at nite, DS is a couple of months older than yours and naps 2 hours in the afternoon and sleeps 10 hours at nite.

Not all children need the same amount of sleep. I just try to remind myself that they'll have a great time when they're older, partying all nite and then back to school/work lol


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## Monkeypants (Apr 30, 2004)

You've gotten a lot of great responses and good advice and I just wanted to throw out one other possible reason for the sleeplessness your child is experiencing. I don't know what or how much food you are feeding him, but he might have food allergies. These can also come through breastmilk. My 3.75 yo has multiple food allergies and when she eats certain foods (like corn or dairy) she has major sleep disruptions, like you are describing in your child. There are not always obvious symptoms with food allergies. My dd's are quite subtile, wakefullness, getting lots of colds, things that you wouldn't immediately connect with an allergy. When we had her tested, she was allergic to almost 20 foods!! Her sleep improved within days of elliminating the allergic foods from her diet.
Hope this helps
-Sarah


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## srmina (Sep 10, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wemoon*
The thing I would like to mention is that maybe you should try NOT *putting him to sleep*. Kids WILL sleep, every human needs to sleep.

I just wanted to say that while this is true for most kids, it is not true for all. I have a 14mo with multiple medical problems who can easily go for 2-3 days without sleep if I do not drug her. She has very subtle looking seizures (most people would not notice them unless I pointed it out) that contribute in great part to her inability to sleep. There are some kids, most with neurological issues, who never will fall asleep no matter what you do, including holding them all night, letting them CIO, etc. My dd (before sleep meds) has many times laid in bed for 9 hours without crying or ever falling asleep. I would suggest you consult a sleep specialist if the problem continues for more than a few weeks to rule out any medical issues that could be contributing to the problem. These could include sleep apnea, seizures, reflux, restless leg syndrome, or even visual impairment.

Also, hang in there! You will find a solution some time. I know how difficult sleep issues can be...I've been there (and still am).


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## tessamami (Mar 11, 2002)

Another mom said this, but I think you could use a break, during the day or afternoon maybe, just some "me" time? A babysitter or mother's helper to watch your son, do the laundry, spend some quality time with yourself in the bathroom? A nap of your own might be a good idea, too.


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## Milo (Dec 5, 2001)

Another two cents on the food allergy/intolerance thing....my children all benefited dramatically from the Feingold Program....looking back I can see the symptoms of disturbed sleep and inability to fall asleep as early as 16 months with my oldest....it took another two years before we realized what the problem was, and changed our family diet. It was hard, but well worth it. Jadon didn't cry, but he just couldn't fall asleep - talking, twitchy fingers, wiggly toes, playing with the blankets. Before we figured out the food thing, I coped by napping with him (only one nap a day after a year old) and at night making the house very boring - all lights off, no radio or tv noise, everything put away. He was willing to stay in bed with me, but he didn't fall asleep. So, I just kinda half-slept with one hand on his body until he finally wound down. Sometimes took two hours or more. For nap time, I had a mellow lullaby CD- when it played through one time, I knew we'd been trying to nap for an hour, and then I'd give it up. Mentally, just accepting that I wasn't going to get "my plan" to work, made it much easier to be patient with him.

If we have dietary goofs now, Jadon still can't fall asleep, even if he's really tired. Sometimes, it takes two hours of lying still and quiet in his bed, with DH or I, before he can relax enough to fall asleep. He's verbal and aware enough to describe the racing thoughts, and restless feeling in his body - and is very clear that this is unpleasant for him.

Sorry to ramble....


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## JavaBean (Feb 7, 2004)

Thanks for all your responses. It was a great relief to unburden myself - even at the cost of some of you thinking that I'm a bad mom.

I love DS so much... I hate myself when I get mad at him. Especially over something that he can't control. It's hard to keep a balanced perspective when you're so tired and exhausted. There have been lots of nights where I bolt awake in a panic thinking that I fell sleep with him in my arms ("where is he?! did he fall?! WHERE IS HE?!"), not remembering that I already put him in his crib. Sound asleep. An hour ago.









Lots to think about - especially about the food allergies. I already talked to the nurse about having him tested at his 12m appointment. He's not walking yet but he's close so a milestone issue is definitely a contender. We did try having DH take over the night soothing duties, but DS went ape-cah-cah so I had to take over. So then I had to deal with DH's hurt feelings that his son "doesn't love him." ugh.







:

He's been sleeping pretty well the past week - just 2-3 nights of all-night wakings as opposed to every night. We went to visit G'parents for a week and had to share a futon. I was pretty apprehensive about the sleeping arrangements as DS does not like co-sleeping at home (very squirmy, crawls all over, ends up playing instead of sleeping) but strangely, he did pretty good. He even took two 1-1.5 hour naps.







We're back home now and so far, he's continued the trend. I think that he was getting less and less sleep to where he was so sleep deficient that he couldn't sleep at all. He finally got caught up on some much needed sleep at GP's place that he's in a happier place now. Hopefully I didn't just jinx myself.







:

I re-read Marc Weissbluth's Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child again - a lot of his tips worked really well for DS (early bedtime, number and timing of naps, lots of stimulus post-nap) - and it's helped me get a grip on this sleeping issue. He does mention a strict CIO method that I'm not doing but other than that, it's helped me re-focus.

Again I really appreciate all your posts. It does help tremendously to know that I'm not alone.

Off to the breastfeeding board - I think he's self weaning! ack!







If it's not one thing, it's the other...


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## yequanamama (Aug 30, 2002)

I can't read all the responses, and many are good. I want to second and emphasize the idea that he's probably ready to go down to one nap.


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## BusyMommy (Nov 20, 2001)

Oh, I am so so sorry you're going through this.








First, I'd say go get a break. Even if you have to hire a babysitting old granny during the day, do it. Go read the paper at Denny's or watch a movie. It's a trade off--your mental sanity is worth it. Can you work out at the gym while he's in the playroom?

Can you do a long drive and then transfer him inside still asleep? I agree, one nap is prob. timely for him.

2nd, well, this sounds smug, but it WILL pass. I've found that when I'm uptight everything goes to h*ll. Once I learned







to just accept and endure everything got better. Really. Plus, they just go through different stages. Can you just take some days in the bedroom; ie. rent some good movies, make some good snacks and stay in your jammies w/him?

I agree that having dh help put him to sleep is a great idea. When I was pg w/my 2nd, dh and ds got into a great nighttime routine.

GOOD LUCK


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## mar4JC (Sep 27, 2004)

JavaBean, my heart goes out to you.
I got a lump in my throat at your mention of baby's baggy eyes.

My DS started to "regress" also. I think that is what bothered me the most. I assumed that I would have sleepless nights, but when baby started night-waking after sleeping 7 hrs straight as a 3 mo, I was downright resentful.

Baby now sleeps for a 4 hour stretch, then night-wakes every 2 hours. I think in my case, it's teething.

For you, I definitely recommend Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution. It talks about establishing a routine to cue baby for nite-nite. The book is great because you develop a customized, personal plan for you! DS and I have been doing nite-nite since he was 6 weeks old. Ours involves a nightly feeding (nursing), changing into his pj's, reading a Bible story, talking about our day, saying our prayers, rocking with a lullaby and going nite-nite in his crib. The whole thing takes 30 mins, but DS is ready for sleep after that. Sometimes, he is so tired that I have to skip parts and put him to bed.

Experiement and see what works for you. Also, try something for a week to see if it works. Babies learn by repetition. Also, instead of trying for 1 hr to get baby to sleep, maybe you can just try for 20mins. He may think it's a "game" and stays up as a result. It will take a while, but I'm hoping along with you that our babies will eventually sleep thru the night.

Also, I seriously recommend that you get some mommy time out of the house. Errands and time outside with baby don't count. Have DH watch the baby for 1-2 hours while you get a pedicure. (I did this last Saturday, and fell asleep in the chair!) Even if you sit down for a cup of coffee and write in a journal for 30 mins, it makes such a difference.

Also, if you are a SAHM, I would recommend cutting out other activities, including house cleaning! until you are getting more sleep.


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