# Hit by a truck...



## MI_Dawn (Jun 30, 2005)

I think getting hit by a truck would have felt better.

Here's what I posted in my DDC... easier to link than cut and paste.

Reading the words here... I feel like I've stepped across some threshold into another world. The dark side of motherhood. We carry so much, when we carry life. We're carrying death with us all the time as well. I knew it on an intellectual level... every bit of anxiety or worry, everything I did or didn't do, questioning... but I had no idea what that felt like, not really... not until I stepped through this door and birthed my baby still.

And why do people say inevitably say all the wrong things? And why don't I care? I always winced, as an outsider, when someone said the "wrong thing" to someone who was grieving... as the one grieving, I can only look from outside myself at them and know they're trying to comfort themselves... they can't touch this pain... they try so hard, they want to understand, but the unimaginable is, truly... And when we're outside of it, we can sympathize, but I think we try not to picture it. I know I did. A good defense... there but by the grace of god go I... so sorry for your loss (and thank god it isn't me...)

And then it is you.

Until I started reading the words here, I didn't think anyone could possibly understand. But this, even this pain, has been born and survived. I'm truly humbled. As broken and destroyed as I feel, there is a small part of my buoyed by the words of women who have been here, too.

Thank you for your strength, mamas. Women... we are truly amazing.


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## expatmommy (Nov 7, 2006)

Gentle hugs to you today. It is a dark lonely road and the first days are so numbingly long.

This is a good safe place to try and make sense of it all.


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## marinak1977 (Feb 24, 2009)

I am so sorry for your loss...


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## namaste_mom (Oct 21, 2005)

I am so so sorry for your loss. Big (((HUGS))) for that is as close as I can get over the internet. Yes, we have carried the pain of losing our little ones and yes, you will make it through also....but I know that these first days, weeks, and months will be difficlt for you. Just know that someday you will feel better. I'm only a PM away...








William


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## Vespertina (Sep 30, 2006)

I'm so very sorry for the loss of your precious William. It pains me to see another mother join these boards. My heart breaks for you. I'm so sorry, mama. My thoughts are with you all. We're all here for you.














:

William


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## Cheshire (Dec 14, 2004)

I'm so sorry for your loss. As others have said we are here when you need us.

















Precious William


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## Samaria86 (Jan 17, 2008)

*hugs* I am so so sorry you have to be here. I really am.


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## Fireflyforever (May 28, 2008)

Oh, mama. I am sorry that you don't have your sweet boy home with you. It's so wrong and so cruel.

I have said in more than one place here that we walk an unbearable path, made bearable by those who walk with us. We are here to listen and share when you're ready.

I remember the wicked cocktail of grief, postpartum hormones, parenting my living children. Be kind and gentle to yourself these early days, allow yourself to be cared for.

Gentle (((HUGS)))


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## ChichosMama (Aug 20, 2004)

People fail to realize there are no words.
Sending you lots of love and















William George


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## Dalene (Apr 14, 2008)

I'm here, too. I'm so sorry, mama. So, so sorry that your little one is not with you. I'm glad that you took pictures. They are so important.

We are here for you.


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## famille_huggins (Mar 30, 2007)

I'm so sorry for your loss, mama. So heartbreaking...








Sweet Little William


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## mamacita angelica (Oct 6, 2006)

i am just so so sorry for your loss. it just is so cruel. i am heartbroken with you. we are here. there are more women out there than there should be, but we are here to support one another.








William


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## Vermillion (Mar 12, 2005)

My heart is breaking for you







I can remember my own pain so clearly, it really is unexplainable...

I'm so, so very sorry for your loss. I wish I had some words of wisdom, or something... but only sympathy...







s

Be gentle with yourself. Much peace and healing to you, mama
















William George


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## savvybabygrace (Feb 15, 2007)

I have no words, only sending love across the miles....you and your precious William George will be in my heart and thoughts.


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## Eliseatthebeach (Sep 20, 2007)

I am so deeply sorry for the loss of your sweet William George, mama.....







It really is just so wrong


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## rsummer (Oct 27, 2006)

I am so sorry love... I am just so sorry. I agree that there is nothing right to say, but sometimes, someones well intentioned words have a way of just cutting to the bone. We are all here sending you all of our love and warm thoughts on your gray gray days. Please come here often, as we seem to be a group of women committed to helping one another survive these tragedies.

I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful son.


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## JayJay (Aug 1, 2008)

I am so very, very sorry mama. There are many here who have been through the same thing. There's no easy way to "do any of this at all - just keep hanging on, and things will even out once again. This is just the worst thing to go through, and right now your hormones are going to be completely all over the place as well, so please, lean on us.

We're all in this together. My heart is with you and I am so, so terribly sorry to hear this has happened to you. We are all here for you, sweetie.

*HUGE, enormous hugs to you* - so much love to you and to your gorgeous little one. If there is anything I can do, please ask and I will help.

XXXXXXX


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## lisa_nc (Jul 25, 2008)

I'm sorry, mama.


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## bluewatergirl (Jul 26, 2007)

Oh, Mama, I am so very, very sorry.
















William George


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## mischievium (Feb 9, 2003)

I wish we lived closer so I could find you and hug you and we could cry for our boys together







. I just feel so betrayed by my body right now and fervently hope my little baby didn't suffer. I keep thinking of the last time I know he moved and hope he wasn't struggling. I'm trying not to be haunted by it, but it's so hard.


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## Manessa (Feb 24, 2003)

Words can not express how sorry I am. My heart is breaking for you.















William


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## no5no5 (Feb 4, 2008)

William George








I am so, so sorry.


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## Amy&4girls (Oct 30, 2006)

I am so sorry for the loss of your precious son. If you need to talk more please feel free to pm me.


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## MI_Dawn (Jun 30, 2005)

He would have been 24 hours old... I didn't know a human being could feel this much pain.







I can't stop crying. I took a nap and cried in my sleep.


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## Amy&4girls (Oct 30, 2006)

I'm so sorry.


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## NullSet (Dec 19, 2004)

William George









I'm so sorry.









I know in the days, months following my dd the only comfort I found was reading the words of mamas who had been in my shoes. I wish you didn't have to go through this.







I hate that this happens! Please post pictures when you have them.


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## Catubodua (Apr 21, 2008)

i'm so sorry for your loss.


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## SMR (Dec 21, 2004)

I'm so sorry to have you join us. It's not the kind of 'club' that we want to have to welcome new members to. On the other side, I am glad you're here, the support you will get here is amazing, and it's so nice to communicate with other women who have walked in your shoes. In the early days after my son died (also at 39 weeks) I would spend so many hours reading every possible blog and post here.... trying to find a hint of what was waititng for me down the road. Woud life EVER be happy again? Would my heart eventually ache less? It gave me some hope looking to the future, and seeing that the families COULD 'move forward' AND keep their babies close to thier hearts! Dresden died 7 months ago, and he is still very much close to us, and a constant in our family.. it will always be sad that he isn't with us, we will always long to hold him and see him one more time..







to your family, be gentle with yourself.


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## MI_Dawn (Jun 30, 2005)

Pictures of William George:

http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/e...iamGeorge1.jpg

http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/e...iamGeorge2.jpg


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## expatmommy (Nov 7, 2006)

He is beautiful! What great hair and perfect lips.


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## Amy&4girls (Oct 30, 2006)

He is beautiful!! Thank you for sharing your precious little boy w/us. You are in my thoughts.


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## ChichosMama (Aug 20, 2004)

He is too precious for words. Thank you for sharing him with us. <3


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## iamleabee (Jul 28, 2005)

he is just beautiful.


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## BHappy (Jun 15, 2008)

A gorgeous and precious and perfect soul.








William George

Blessings of pure love and peace and healing to you and your family.


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## Fireflyforever (May 28, 2008)

He is a very, very beautiful little sweetheart.


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## Tear78 (Nov 28, 2008)

my thoughts are with you, and our shoulders are here to cry on and to help support you when you need us.


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## Cuddlebaby (Jan 14, 2003)

he is truly a gift. beautiful. hugs to you.


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## mollyb33 (Dec 29, 2008)

I'm so very sorry that you don't have William in your arms with you, where he should be. Hang in there.


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## bc1995 (Mar 22, 2004)

I am so very sorry for your loss.


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## veganmama719 (Sep 15, 2007)

I am so very sorry for your loss mama. Much peace, love and strength to you and your family and blessings for your sweet William George.


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## Guinevere (Apr 17, 2004)

I am so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful son.









Guin


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