# first menstruation gift/ceremonies



## jjdoula (Sep 18, 2002)

*****sniff*******

My baby, my firstborn, just got her period this morning! In stark contrast to when I got mine ( telling my mom two days later, prefacing it with "now don't freak out or anything" and begging her to not tell my dad ( who was sexually abusive)) she came joyfully bouncing down the stairs to announce she got what she has been waiting for,,I was confused and asked if it was the new Harry Potter book ( der!) and she squealed "no, my period!",,then she wanted to call Dad immediately!( he got the message about an hour later and called almost in tears..what a daddy!)

So I have been saying for the past couple of years that I wanted to do something really special as a rite of passage for her, but now that it is time I am a little stumped.

We are a Christian household, so many of the ceremonies I read about are not very comfortable for us, but in the extended family we have some beautiful Pagan women, so I don't want to create something that is uncomfortable for them either. I need a happy medium that will honor the woman my daughter is becoming.....

I also am looking for gift suggestions, some piece of jewelry that would be really special.

Please,,shower me with suggestions!!

God Bless

Staci


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## EnviroBecca (Jun 5, 2002)

Congratulations to jjdoula, jr.!

MrBecca made me a bracelet with primarily red beads that I wear when menstruating. He had the idea because we'd had several awkward moments regarding my telling him I got my period; now he can just see. This might be helpful for you to see if your daughter's cycle is regular without asking nosy questions!







But more importantly, wearing the bracelet makes me feel special about menstruating, and it's one-of-a-kind just like me!

I don't have any great ideas for ceremonies, but I've heard of having a Red Party where you serve red foods and have red decorations and invite a bunch of women and tell stories of your first periods. That sounds like fun!


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## Sierra (Nov 19, 2001)

Oh, I like the red braclet idea. My friend's mom also gave her a necklace with both their birthstones when my friend got her period. I think some kids may do best with a private ceremony/marking of this passage or something pretty low key where the attention isn't all on them. I know a few kids who were embarrassed by "period parties" or menstural ceremonies. Some kids may just want a special day with mom, a special meal cooked up, or maybe a dinner party with a few close friends and family members. We've had a couple threads on this exact subject. You may want to try a search if you don't get the response you need here.

Sierra


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## granolamom (Sep 30, 2002)

When my oldest two dd started we did have small ceremonies. We didn't really focus as much on getting their periods as much as we did on the joy and beauty of being a women.

I think any women who is special in your daughters life could easily participate. There are so many beautiful poems and passages that express the joys of being a women.

What a loving and open way to welcome your daughter into the tribe of women.

Our ceremonies went something like this:


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## granolamom (Sep 30, 2002)

Sorry.......
Great food, each women brought their favorite comfort food to share

My dd's were each given a ring from mom

The other women invited did different things. A few read passages and poems.

Some gave small tokens: journals, paintings, flannel blankets, piece of pottery

We lit a unity type candle.

Each women then wrote a short entry into the journal.
It was beautiful and the girls felt very much like women.
My youngest dd, Sabri, is waiting and watching for they day she has hers

Hope this helps


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## jjdoula (Sep 18, 2002)

Thanks for all of the suggestions everyone...I have slowly been coming to have a sense for what we will do....

It will be on a Monday evening in a couple of weeks. Hopefully it is a night that all of the special adult women in my daughters life will be able to come..Her Grandmothers, her Aunt, my few dearest friends who are role models for her..

Everyone will bring a dish to share, and I will have a large table in the livingroom surrounded by lots of flowers and candles. (The flowers will be red and white,,symbolic of blood and purity..)

I am going to pull some virtues of a Godly woman from Proverbs 41 ( Strength, perseverance, purity, so on...good stuff everyone (Christian and non..) strives towards) and assign one to each guest. They will write out an antecdote or story, poem, song,,something that expresses that virtue or how it benefits a woman to have those virtues. They will each share that with Rebecca, and I will later put them on the pages of a special womanhood journal to give ot her. I am also asking everyone to bring two-4 beads, so we can make her a necklace or bracelett...

I wanted to add that her father sent her a huge arrangement of flowers to greet her when she got home the day she got her period! What a daddy!

Any additional ideas anyone? Thanks for the imput!


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## granolamom (Sep 30, 2002)

Sounds very much like our ceremonies!!

It will be beautiful. Please let us know how everything went.

And tell your dd, welcome!!!!!

Lee


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## jjdoula (Sep 18, 2002)

I wanted to update you all,,we had our special night on Monday. My daughter was just glowing,,surrounded by so many women who love her,,I was just proud to sit accross the table and see her quietly listening to every word anyone had to share.. it all was exactly as I had posted above,,but with such a sacred magical feeling that I couldn't have prepared for..lots of tears and love.

thanks for imput everyone!


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