# Indo-Pak/Muslim head-shaving babies??



## cwaddick (Oct 16, 2002)

My husband is from Pakistan. His parents' families are moderate Muslim Punjabis. They are insisting that we shave the head of our baby. I am looking for advice about why and how to shave his/her head.

I am due in two weeks (before X-mas). So, if we are going to shave the new baby's head, I need to know now how to do it so that I can have the supplies ready.

With our first baby, I didn't know that shaving babies heads is a cultural practice in India, Pakistan, and Bangladesh. Apparently, everyone does it on certain days: I think, days 1, 7 or 8, 40, and 1 year. My husband, of course, knew about the practice, but he didn't think of it. By the time that I knew that his parents were angry at us for not shaving her head, I did not want to shave it because I feared that her hair would not grow in for a long time.

I have decided that I would prepare to shave the new baby's head, provided that it will not cause any suffering. The main reasons that I have agreed to shave his/her head are (1) it will please them without causing us much trouble and (2) I am agreeing to this cultural practice but not planning to circumcise, which they are also very insistent that we do. (They will be horrified when we don't circumcise the baby and they will never understand our choice or forgive us the decision.)

I think this cultural practice is some kind of cleanliness ritual. My husband's parents believed that our daughter's head was unclean before Allah because we had not cut her hair and that it was not growing because we had not cut it.

They will be living with us for 3 months when the new baby is 1-4 months old. So, I would like to at least settle this issue before they come.

-- Caitlin


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## SpiralWoman (Jul 2, 2002)

hi Caitlin,
sorry I don't have the specific help you are looking for, but wanted to give you a little support at least! I know there are Muslim AP mommas on the boards, although they might not be Punjabi or Pakistani? You might try looking for a thread in the Spirituality forum or posting a thread there.

I know how hard it is when our parents & In-laws have strong opinions on parenting styles & if rooted in religion/culture it can be double hard. It is good that you & your DH are on the same page with the circumcision, since that is permanent & painful, whereas shaving the head is just a temporary (& hopefully painless) thing. You are doing a good job at picking your battles!

I don't know what kind of birth you have planned, but I guess the only other thing I would say is not to let this thing get in the way of your time with the baby right after he is born, but then you already have 1 little one, so you know what you are doing!

take care & good luck, Maria


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## goodcents (Dec 19, 2002)

Hi Caitlin,
I am not quite what to say. Other than there is NO WAY your daughter is unclean in the eyes of Allah. She cannot even sin as a newborn.

It REALLY TICKS ME when people use their CULTURAL practices and institute them as ISLAMIC or RELIGIOUS practice. Which happens all the time, just look at Saudia Arabia and the face covering, which is purely cultural and not religious (only modesty is required, not full body head to toe covering) Anyway that is off topic......

To answer your question about why the head is shaved I can only offer this. There is no Aya (line or verse) in the Q'uran (the holy book) or Hadith (the practices and mannerisms of the Prophet Mohammed pbuh) that indicates your daughters head is unclean or that the lack of growth of her hair is related to you not shaving it. You can check this site and search the entire Q'uran in english for yourself: http://islamonline.net/surah/english/surahSearch.asp

My husband is Egyptian, and I (american) am all for participating in cultural traditions, as you said, when they don't cause too much trouble and they won't cause harm. His family is EXTREMELY religious, my husband and I less so but still deeply connected and practiced in our faith. Believe me mama-to-be if there was a religious reason to shave the babies head I would know about it and it mose certainly would have been done to my daughter Aya.

Good luck in whatever your decision ends up being. I would start by asking how your relatives shaved thier baby's heads. You may also want to post on beliefnet.com, under the islam boards. You may also find some answers there.

Best,
Justine


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## BeeandOwlsMum (Jul 11, 2002)

I don't know about the issues with Islam, but I do know that Hindus do shave their children's heads. A member here named USAmma might know the cultural signifigance of that!


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## 1jooj (Apr 8, 2002)

The Muslim Indo-Pak folks I know follow a practice (believed to be Sunnah) of shaving the baby's head at a certain point, and then paying the equivalent value of the hair's weight in silver as charity.
You need to remove the hair to know its weight. Charity is a practice of purification, but in this case it is for the parents to practice.
I wonder--what about offering an amount for charity that would surely cover any hair's weight in silver?

I have had some people tell me this also improves the thickness of the baby's hair, blah blah blah...anyway, we did shear our son's head at a year--but it was because his hair was transitioning from baby hair to kid hair and I had never cut it.


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## USAmma (Nov 29, 2001)

Hi! Someone just told me about this thread-- I can probably offer some insight but I'm just heading out for awhile. Will come back later. I had my dd's head shaved for cultural reasons- dh is from India.

Back in awhile!
Darshani


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## USAmma (Nov 29, 2001)

Okay back from library. Anyway I'm not sure about the Islamic tradition but I know many of these traditions have similar roots. My dh is Hindu. At age 1 year, although it varies in each community from 3 mos. to 3 years, a baby has his or her head shaved.

In Hindu tradition it's supposed to represent (a) karmic rebirth, meaning you are shedding karmas from the last life and (b) shedding of the ego since hair is a thing that adds beauty. It is also supposed to have good health benefits. Any Hindu of any age can shave their heads at any time in their lives. Sometimes it's a vow that if such and such happens they will shave their head. The only exception is the higher Brahmin class, only babies, men and widows shave their heads. It's normally done at or near a temple by a temple barber with a new straight-edged blade. Dh and I had our heads shaved along with dd's just to be fair, and I tell you it was *wonderful*! It really felt great!

Do you know if you are supposed to do this shaving at home yourselves, or have a member of the clergy do it for you? Does it have to be done in a certain manner? For example in Hindu tradition three hairs are cut first from different locations and then the whole head is shaved.

If you do it with an electric razor it may scare the baby, vs. a blade. But of course only use a blade if it's being done by someone very experienced!! None of us had any cuts from the shaving which was great, even my dd relaxed and really enjoyed it. And that's saying a lot for a spirited 1 year old!

Darshani

edited to share a photo of the three of us with our heads shaved. You can read the whole travel journal but it's long and takes awhile to load each page.


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## goodcents (Dec 19, 2002)

I talked to my friend from Bangladesh today and one from Pakistan in college today.

They both agreed that the practice is cultural and not religious. Also they said that their families here no longer practice this, but relatives back home still do.

The said that it is done because people think of the hair as "dirty" because it has passed through the womb. What they meant to say, but are shy (they are muslim sisters from another countyr), is that it passed over a women's vagina and therefore is unclean. Back to the old sexist, the vagina is unclean rant......


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## USAmma (Nov 29, 2001)

Quote:

), is that it passed over a women's vagina and therefore is unclean. Back to the old sexist, the vagina is unclean rant......
Well how do they think the pregnancy happened in the first place? I guess that area's not too unclean for certain, ahem, "members" to be in frequent contact with the vagina?







And doesn't the entire baby pass through the vagina, not just the head??

Yeah there are certain Hindu tradition that I'm letting pass by the wayside too. We are going to delay our next India trip until new baby is at least 3 years old. There's no way I'm going to be traveling there with a 1 year old and a 4 year old! I'm either going to find a temple in the US that does head shavings, or else just shave it at home and save the hair to give to a temple later. Both things are acceptable substitutes for Hindus living outside of India.

Darshani


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## Viola (Feb 1, 2002)

Interesting. My BIL, who is Nigerian (Igbo) and not Muslim (his family is Catholic, but he is not a Christian himself), shaved his children's hair when they were about a year old. We never knew why and he didn't explain. I wonder if there was a cultural practice at work there.


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