# dude, babywearing *suuuucks*!



## peacelove&camping (May 10, 2010)

i had planned on using a sling or other soft carrier and was super-psyched about it for literally years before i was even pregnant. and i didn't even know it was cool!







but i've done it three times now and have been in agony for a day or two afterward every time; right now i'm having trouble walking or sitting my back hurts so bad from 'wearing' her for an hour yesterday. any suggestions? cuz i really want to 'babywear', but i definitely can't do -this-.


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## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

How old is your baby and what kind of carrier are you using? If you have a good carrier, and have it on right, it shouldn't be hurting your back. I have a bad back/neck and am able to carry my 40 lb 3 yr old on my back comfortably. Of course, I have sorta built up 'babywearing muscles' so to speak, but with a newborn or small infant even the first few times shouldn't be painful with a carrier that fits you and baby well and distributes the weight.


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## Asiago (Jul 1, 2009)

I agree, it shouldn't hurt. I am tired at the end of the day but not actually sore or achey.


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## peacelove&camping (May 10, 2010)

she's nine weeks and about 11 1/2 pounds. i know i'm outta shape but this is ridiculous! i checked and rechecked the fit, the 'x' in the middle does seem to ride up and it's more comfortable when it's lower.... keep tryin i guess.


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## Beauchamp (Jan 12, 2009)

Are you using a Bjorn?

Also, it does take a little while for your "babywearing muscles" to get in shape.


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## lapis (Aug 15, 2008)

I nannied and used many different kinds of slings and carriers for most of that time... I also injured my back doing so.

but i also managed to figure out a few systems that work well for me now... but it took a while and I have to be careful. for some bodies, baby wearing is a breeze and for others its really hard on their bodies...i've seen a pretty big mix of both.

personally i found that the sling was hardest on my body after prolonged use. mostly because only one side of your body is supporting baby's weight. also getting a ring sling to fit properly takes some practice. I've left things a bit too loose and see many parents who leave the sling too loose, and that can really pull on your neck. the bjorn was equally as hard on my neck and shoulders (no waist belt) but at least the pain was on both sides : )

a soft carrier can be great. i have an old school beco where i'm able to move the front/back straps up and down on the shoulder straps as much as i want so, while wearing a baby on my front i can buckle as low or as high up as feels best for my back. i think most newer carriers down allow for the buckle to go super low (which is what i personally need). for me the moby is also great but i can only wear it for short periods of time because the cross in the back puts too much pressure on the part of my back that hurts. basically in that long paragraph, what i'm trying to say is that you can likely find a carrier that takes the pressure off the parts of your back that are most sensitive. different carriers put pressure on different parts of your body so if there is somewhere near where you live where you can go try a ton of carriers on and get fitted AND can walk around the store for a while wearing it, that might be your best bet.

and hey, cut yourself some slack, its hard to figure out actually, i mean i've been doing it for 10 years and there's even a learning curve w/ each new baby i cary and each new carrier i try. i will say after so long it takes me only a small amount of time to get an adjustment right but in the beginning it took me a while to see why i was in pain and the ergonomics of different kinds of carriers.

anyhow, i wish you the best of luck and if you have questions about certain carriers i think you will get a lot of specific answers from the ladies here, myself included.








s


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## peacelove&camping (May 10, 2010)

i've been wearing the gogorider. it's actually the one my husband picked out for himself; i of course went for the infantino sling, and have been waiting for my replacement for weeks.


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## jabeen (Jul 4, 2009)

The Bjorn has very poor back support, so if you're using that, that's most likely the problem. For that age and size, I'm using a Moby and mei tai, and neither hurts my back as long as they're tied with the baby high up enough.


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## jabeen (Jul 4, 2009)

oops, just saw your post. i looked up the gogorider, and the back support is similar to a bjorn in that there is no waist strap...i think that is the problem.


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## mntnmom (Sep 21, 2006)

I used a snugli, which is really similar to the gogorider, with my oldest. I was in agony and gave up. With baby 2 I used a pouch sling and that was better until he was about a year. With number 3, I discovered Mei Tais and then Soft Structured Carriers!! I can still carry my 36pd 3 yr old on my back for hours if I need to, and am now carrying the new baby in the same Mei Tai I used with her big brother as a babe.


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## peacelove&camping (May 10, 2010)

ha ha, you double-posted me and then i double-posted you







like i said, it's the gogorider that's been getting to me, but it's also not a carrier i would have picked for myself, and not one i'll be continuing to use. infantino replaced the sling of death with a wrap&tie, which looks like something i would really like--i think it's a mei tai? but three brief trials and it seems like she *hates* it. i'm going to try to wiggle her around in it a little more, i read on another board something about putting ribbon around the butt if their legs are too short for it, which hers are. i know the wrap&tie is new but has anyone else tried it?

thanks so much for all your input guys


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## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

it's your carrier - I can't imagine that being comfortable for more than like 10 minutes at a time. I had a similar one with my first baby, and I was so excited to use it. I strapped it on and took a short walk around the block. OMG, I was in so much pain later on that I never tried it again. A good sling, wrap, mei tai, or soft-structured carrier (like an Ergo) are a million times better. The GoGoRider basically has baby hanging off your body and you carrying her weight on your shoulders and back.

At that age, I would try a Moby or a ring sling (NOT infantino), or get an Ergo or Beco (or a good mei tai like Kozy or Babyhawk) for longer use.


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## marinak1977 (Feb 24, 2009)

If you have any $$ to invest - I'd recommend getting an Ergo with an infant insert (unless it's really hot where you live) It's super easy to learn, safe and comfy for a newborn and once you're done with the insert the Ergo is still great for a long long time. I have back issues and I can wear DS (14 lbs) for hours without hurting myself.


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## Carhootel (Jul 16, 2008)

check in finding your tribe to see if there are mommas near you that can help you or if there is a babywearing group in your area (there are a lot of babywearing groups around the country and you can also check on thebabywearer.com for local babywearing groups) because it definitely should NOT be hurting!


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## peacelove&camping (May 10, 2010)

thanks







i`ll look at finding your tribe. i like the ergo, but you`re right it is pricey. i would want to find a way to try it out first. i also like the gypsymama wraps.

on a related note, the mei tai arrived and she officially, unequivocally hates it. so now here`s my new dilemma: is there hope for wearing a baby who hates to be swaddled?


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## MammaG (Apr 9, 2009)

I'm on baby #3 (and I, too, wore the kids I nannied for years). I learn something new with every baby. I have a mei tai, a ring sling, a bjorn, a snuggli, a wrap. Oh, and a hiking backpack...I have a baby-carrier addiction. I just got a Hotsling and I am once again in love! I love how distributed baby feels in it! Mine's a 12.5lb 6-m-o. I'm very short-waisted and big-breasted so I have to work around that. Everyone's different, you'll have to kind of work through it.

I still recommend a wrap sling for newborns, though (although if your dd hates swaddling maybe not). Can you go to a store that will let you try out a bunch? Or maybe there's an online store that will let you try them out like they sometimes do for cloth dipes (if there isn't, there SHOULD BE!). Do you go to LLL? I find that there's usually several mamas and several wraps at any given meeting and they could let you try out theirs perhaps?

Good luck. It's wonderful when it works.


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## kittywitty (Jul 5, 2005)

My kids all refused swaddling and loved being carried. I agree it's your carrier. I would look around for AP/LLL/Babywearing groups locally or someone to let you try what they have. Ergos can be affordable bought new off of the FSOT here or on diaperswappers or craigslist. I LOVE my beco or Babyhawk as far as carriers go. Wraps are also great to prevent back pain-Moby or an Ellaroo would be good.


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## Super~Single~Mama (Sep 23, 2008)

Did you try making her legs look like a frog's inside the carrier so that she's more comfy? At 9 weeks she's not going to be able to have her legs out of the mei tai, but you can "froggy" them on the inside kind of under her butt. That shoudl make her more comfy, and then she'll like it better!!

Good luck!


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## St. Margaret (May 19, 2006)

Get a stretchy wrap so her legs can be out, or tie the mei tai all bunched in the bum with a ribbon or the like so her legs can be out, and see if that helps. It took me a while to figure out that DD had to be upright and had to have her legs OUT. This time around I'm excited that I have my gypsy mama wraps from the get-go. Also, with the wrap she wasn't surrounded by all the fabric of the headrest, etc, and her arms could be free. That's just how she wanted to be.


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## paakbaak (Jan 24, 2007)

at 9 weeks, i carried my babe in a sling, during short times, and in a fular for longer times. the length gets to you at first but them it´s THE best around!
i later got a mei tai, my babe was a about 3mo
but the best was the ergo, i wish i got it earlier, it is worth the investment, believe me!
try the fular for now! your babys legs can be out, you will both be comfy.


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## Materfamilias (Feb 22, 2008)

oh, Bjorn/Snugli -- ick. Burn it.

I have a mei tai and love it. I think you may just need to look into different carries. Here are some ideas:

http://kozycarrier.homestead.com/instructions.html

when my DD was small, we did front carries but she liked back carries from a pretty early age.


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## Sharlla (Jul 14, 2005)

go for the mei tai with added straps. i wear the baby for hours no problem
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

What is wrong with the Infantino people? They just had a sling recalled, shouldn't they have done some actual research on baby slings? Why on earth are they recommending a forward carry for their mei tai wannabe????

OP, the other good reason to drop the bjorn/snugli style carrier is they mess up hip development for your baby.

If you wear it facing in, the wrap and tie would be an improvement, but is going to be horrible after about 20lbs. After that, you'll really really really want to have ties long enough to cross at her bottom.

http://www.babycarriersnmore.com/i//...oodnplenty.jpg see how there's a twist in the middle of the x formed by the straps? The baby is sitting on that and is pulled both in AND up. Doing it like that, there's no weight on the shoulders. I can wear my 24lb toddler and put my hand under the straps of my mei tai. All the weight is in my hips.

(And before a friend of mine told me about doing the straps like that, I







: HURT if I wore dd for more than a block or two. We couldn't even make it to the park before I wanted her OFF.)


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## peacelove&camping (May 10, 2010)

i tried frogging, and i tried bunching; i also tried two crazy made-up ways and loading her in out in the sunshine so she'd be distracted. harrumph.

i've never even *heard* of a fular! i'll have to check them out









Quote:


Originally Posted by *St. Margaret* 
....This time around I'm excited that I have my gypsy mama wraps from the get-go. Also, with the wrap she wasn't surrounded by all the fabric of the headrest, etc, and her arms could be free....

i think that may be a big part of it. she's okay in the one that murdelates my back, and that one lets her look around and she can see me better too. which gypsymamas do you have? I'm eyeballing their water wrap.


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## peacelove&camping (May 10, 2010)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Materfamilias* 
http://kozycarrier.homestead.com/instructions.html

thanks!

i hadn't seen this when i posted just now; every time i post, two or three more messages show up from like the day before.


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## peacelove&camping (May 10, 2010)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
OP, the other good reason to drop the bjorn/snugli style carrier is they mess up hip development for your baby.

i read that, but of course only after my husband picked that one out as the one he likes. i asked our pediatrician though, and she said it was okay for short rides, like an hour or two, which is all he'd be doing anyway.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
http://www.babycarriersnmore.com/i//...oodnplenty.jpg see how there's a twist in the middle of the x formed by the straps? The baby is sitting on that and is pulled both in AND up. Doing it like that, there's no weight on the shoulders.

awesome, i'm going to give it a shot! thanks guys!


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## Asiago (Jul 1, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *peacelove&camping* 
is there hope for wearing a baby who hates to be swaddled?

My son didn't like to be swaddled either. He didn't like any restriction, so at first he'd push back on me when he felt the carrier against his back (in tummy to tummy position.) Now he seems all right with it, so perhaps your baby will also.


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## rhiOrion (Feb 17, 2009)

The only carrier I've liked so far for my 6 week DD is the pikkolo. And the pikkolo is made so that you can cinch the front and stick even a smallish baby's legs out. DD likes hers froggied, though. I can wear her in it for hours without too much problem. Every once in a while my back will start to ache a bit, but only if I've really been wearing her and walking a LOT.


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## almadianna (Jul 22, 2006)

both of my babies hated being swaddled but they loved being worn. i think you need to get help from someone in your community. there are many babywearing groups out there. where do you live?


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## Whistler (Jan 30, 2009)

I have a delicious mixture of scoliosis and arthritis in my upper back. Carriers like the Bjorn create instant and ongoing pain.

That being said, I wear my baby (7 mos) for hours every day. There's a trick to it though. The weight needs to center over your hips, like a hiking backpack does. Shoulder straps should be for positioning, not weight-bearing. Carriers like the Ergo on the back do this. The one I use is one I made myself based on an African Kanga which a friend from Ghana taught me to use. The baby sits tied on my back but the weight is on my hips and tailbone. Plus the baby LOVES it!

African Kanga on me: http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f1...0/DSC02267.jpg

My homemade version on Hubby: http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f1...0/DSC01189.jpg

I would definitely try to find something that redistributes the weight to your hips. They make hiking backpacks for babies with soft frames that do the same thing. With my back the way it is, I'd use those over a Bjorn or a Snugli, although my hubby uses a Snugli a lot too.

HTH!

Edited to Add: If you're not familiar with the Kanga (or Lesso as we call it) the baby "hugs" my back with hands and legs wrapped around my waist. I can put it on and off myself although most Americans aren't comfortable with this. Hubby does it by setting the baby in the corner of the sofa and sitting in front of him then wrapping the carrier around his body. The one I made has large strips of velcro in the front holding it snug.


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## peacelove&camping (May 10, 2010)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *almadianna* 
i think you need to get help from someone in your community. there are many babywearing groups out there. where do you live?

i'm in northeast/north central ct near the massachusetts line. all i could find within a reasonable distance is a once-monthly babywearing workshop, and even that's an hour drive. but i'm gonna suck it up and go, it's day after tomorrow. it's at a natural baby stufff store and they said i can try a bunch of stuff on, so here's hopin!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Whistler* 
The weight needs to center over your hips, like a hiking backpack does. Shoulder straps should be for positioning, not weight-bearing. Carriers like the Ergo on the back do this. The one I use is one I made myself based on an African Kanga which a friend from Ghana taught me to use. The baby sits tied on my back but the weight is on my hips and tailbone. Plus the baby LOVES it!

your carrier is awesome! i'm very fond of the 'native'-type carriers that humans have been using for hundreds or sometimes thousands of years--they obviously work! i'm definitely going to keep the hip thing in mind when i go on monday. i think that's definitely what did it with the first carrier i tried that hurt my back so much. thanks so much guys!


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## peacelove&camping (May 10, 2010)

the moby rocks. that is all.


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## *MamaJen* (Apr 24, 2007)

I'm really glad you figured it out and found a carrier that works for you.








I was totally lost until I went to the natural baby store and had someone physically show me how to use a sling, how to place the baby in the sling, all that jazz.
Mobys are great for smaller babies. Once your little one gets a bit bigger, you might think about upgrading to an Ergo. I know they are a little spendy but they really are one of the most comfortable baby carriers out there. They're kind of a like a hiking backpack, in that you carry all the weight on your waist, and the shoulder straps are mostly just to stabilize. I use mine all the time for my 27-pound two and a half year old.


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