# Hysterectomy to prevent miscarriage



## yonit (Jun 14, 2006)

So, I might not be in my complete right mind right now, but I am considering having my uterus removed....

I am currently 6 weeks pregnant, but am in the process of miscarrying. This is my 9th miscarriage. I had 8 m/c's in 2 years and then I had a complete miracle and had a son who is now 8 mos old and now another m/c.

No one has ever been able to figure out why I m/c. I have had every test known to man and the best answer I could get was "coincidence". I have done western medicine and alternative medicine - acupuncture, chinese herbs, reiki, etc...

I am sure that there is some kind of hormonal problem, and while doctors agree they have never been able to find it. But I spot (and then have AF) for 2-3 weeks a month. We are Jewish, and DH and I can't be "together" when I am bleeding so the way it works out we are only able to be together on the week I ovulate. Which stinks in general for our marriage, but also means that I will just keep on getting pg with unviable pregnancies. I am beginning to feel like a murderer...

I am going to be 40 in about 6 weeks. I have 4 beautiful children, K"H.

Am I crazy to see hysterectomy as my best option here???


----------



## Liba613 (Aug 21, 2006)

Fist I want to send you my hugs, love, prayers and sympathy.

I haven't had as many misses and we have possible partial explanations (MTHR gene mutation, but only one copy usually it takes two to make trouble and clotting issues), but the pain, worry and detestation are still strong.

I am sure you have tried all sorts of hormones to regulate your cycle? Did it do any good? If it works at shortening your cycle it would both give you more time with your husband and help prevent the losses without a hysterectomy, which is such a drastic surgery. I know it isn't terribly natural, and it may have side effects for you, but the hysterectomy may as well.









I wish I could really help. If you want to talk please give me a call. My number hasn't changed.


----------



## stormborn (Dec 8, 2001)

I'm no help but I wanted to give you support...I know where you're coming from


----------



## LoveChild421 (Sep 10, 2004)

I'm sorry. I'm not Jewish, so I don't know exactly what your beliefs will allow, I know you probably can't use condoms or birth control, but could your husband pull-out before he orgasms to avoid getting you pregnant and let your body have some time to heal? I am very fertile, but the pull-out method worked for us for 2 years (then he forgot to do it and I got pregnant with this one). I wonder if your body had some time to rest between pregnancies if your hormones could balance themselves out as well as your body. It is certainly your choice and may be the right choice for your circumstances to have a hysterectomy, but if I were in that position I would want to avoid that option.


----------



## kristenok18 (Jun 26, 2006)

Have you talked to an RE (reproductive endocrinologist) about what is going on in with your cycles? There could be many different reasons why you are bleeding so much, and you could be helped with medication or other changes before resorting to a surgery. Have you read Dr. Elizabeth Lee Vliet's book "Screaming to Be Heard: Hormone connections women suspect but doctors still ignore"? Another good one of hers is "It's My OVaries, Stupid!". Having a hysterectomy will affect many aspects of your health, so I would probably save that as a last option. I completely understand your not wanting to go through this again, but I just wonder if there are other options.


----------



## mombh (May 6, 2003)

I really have no words of wisdom....







.....

maybe you can wait a while before making such a decision... I m sure you have checked every avenue and I know you are very knowledgable.........
is going on the pill an option ( medically /halachikly??) it might hep?? and be less drastic that a hysterectemy??

wishing you healing , R"S


----------



## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

I'm so sorry for your losses.

To the poster unfamiliar with Judaism and sexuality/contraception: contraception is permissable in general, but because there's also the mitzvah to "be fruitful and multiply" you're supposed to talk to a rabbi to "get permission" to use contraception- basically to help you figure out if this is an appropriate time to use contraception, and that you're using it for the right reasons. Contraception is permissable when a pg might endanger the mother's health- mental health included.

When contraception is permitted, the ideal methods would be hormonal or an IUD, as those don't interfere with normal husband/wife relations. Internal barrier methods are also permitted, as they're put in before lovemaking and normally don't interfere either. Condoms are not permitted at all (as the man would then be "spilling seed" by not ejaculating into the woman's body) and coitus interputus either results in "spilling seed" or the man feeling quite frustrated which then leads to marital disharmony.

Yonit- I would talk to a dr and a rabbi. Before considering hysterectomy, look into other medical options, such as hormonal birth control. I'm not saying to NOT have a hysterectomy, but I am saying to consider all options first and only use surgury if less invasive treatments don't provide enough relief.


----------



## yonit (Jun 14, 2006)

Thank you Ruth for explaining the halacha for me. I appreciate not having to do it.

Unfortunately hormones are not an option for me. I have had REALLY bad reactions to them. I have done hormones both as fertility drugs to help regulate my cycle (with an RE) and as birth control pills and have never had a good experience with them. My RE actually said that she has never seen anyone do as poorly on fertility meds as I did. And when I took the pill I got such bad migaines that I was basically non functional - and actually wound up in the hospital at one point due to too much cerebro-spinal fluid around my brain (a very rare side effect of the pill). I have never had a migraine when I wasn't on artificial hormones.

I do have an appointment with my doctor next week. I actually had it set up as a pre-natal, but we will be discussing this instead.

Oh, and one more thing I should add. Because of my "unique" fertility history I am actually at a high risk of endometrial cancer (cancer of the uterine lining). Docs have said that while it wasn't urgent by any means, they would be supportive if I decided to have my uterus removed.

Oh, we have also done genetic testing, and come out perfectly fine. We have checked for bacterial infection, and antiphospholipid antibodies - all fine.

And yes, it was the brilliant RE who gave me the diagnosis of "coincidence" - this was after 5 m/c. She is lucky I didn't hit her.


----------



## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

With the extra medical info you've just provided, hysterectomy makes a lot more sense. Especially the whole "risk of cancer" thing- it sounds like hysterectomy would be a good medical choice, and the only reason to delay it would be if you wanted more children.

Still, I'd suggest looking into non-drug (food and/or herb) treatments for your wonky cycle, and possibly get a diaphram (or OTC spermicidal sponges) for short-term contraception while you explore all the options in a non-rushed manner.


----------



## labortrials (Aug 7, 2007)

Yonit, I am SO SORRY for what you are going through. I can't imagine enduring such loss. But neither could I imagine having my uterus removed unless it was medically necessary. How does removing a part of your body to avoid pregnancy honor God?

I was recently told that I should NEVER do BCPs either because of migraines. Evidently it puts us at risk of stroke. Great. You might give the Nuvaring a try though it was NOT a good option for me.

Perhaps you need to find a new RE?

Again, I am so sorry for your losses. I hope you find peace and health. I hope your walk with God leads you to reconciliation with your body.


----------



## mamaverdi (Apr 5, 2005)

Yonit,









I think I would use a barrier method. Diaphragm can be used without spermicide, OR there was a link here somewhere concerning use of different concoctions instead of traditional spermicide.

I would also find a caring, knowledgeable rav to speak to.

I would also consider finding a different RE. Did they track hormones etc while you were pregnant? And this question may seem morbid, but did they test the baby for genetic issues?

Seeing a geneticist might be a good idea as well.

My mother had a hysterechtomy and really regrets it. Even though her cancer risk was also high. But I think it's a very very personal decision.

I'm so so so very sorry for all of this for you. I send you prayers, hugs, love, light, anything I can.


----------



## jauncourt (Mar 15, 2007)

There is also ablation, which will leave you with an intact body, but will remove the lining (it also prevents implantation, as the lining is cauterized to deal with beleding issues and also to help prevent endomtrial cancer). It is, therefor, as permanent a decision as a hysterectomy. My sister was told that this might be necessary for her, but she really wants to have a child, hopefully without having to ask me to surrogate for her - fortunately it seems to be metabolically linked for her and treating her thyroid issues has helped resolve her endometrial issues.

Maura


----------



## yonit (Jun 14, 2006)

You still need to use birth control after ablation, because while pg is not likely it can happen - and would be very dangerous. Any ablation website will tell you that. It also will not stop your periods usually (although it does sometimes), it supposedly just makes them more manageable if you have certain conditions. Since we don't know what is causing my problems it isn't necessarily the best option for me personally. I actually wish it were, the decision would be so much easier.

As for a geneticist. Yes, I have seen one. As I said, nothing came up. We have also had 2 of the babies tested (the 3rd and 5th m/c)- both have been genetically normal.

And yes, I have had hormones checked in every pregnancy - sometimes numerous times and they have always been normal. As has my thyroid.

MV - If you know such a caring, knowledgeable Rav please PM me his info. I would love to speak with one.


----------



## kristenok18 (Jun 26, 2006)

Yonit,

I am so sorry that you haven't been able to get answers as to why this keeps happening. And booo-hisssss to that horrible RE you saw! What a rotten thing to say to someone!







It sounds like you've researched your options well, and know this is the best option for you. I wish you the best with whatever you choose.


----------



## mamaverdi (Apr 5, 2005)

Yonit







I really didn't mean any offense. I'm sorry.

I could go on and on forever about what to say to doctors who say "coincidence" or "it just happens." She should have referred you to someone else.

As for genetics, well, I will say genetics is again one of those fields where everything is relatively new. (You know this.) So things were normal, for what they tested for. Sort of like my boys. Sure they're normal. For the tests run so far.

It is not just frustrating, and infuriating, it leads you to think desperate and hopeless things that you may or may not consider otherwise.

I don't mean to sound cold or detached with my questions. It's just the way I have to approach certain things in order to think through them.

I have a very kind Rav, but I'm not sure how knowledgeable he is about these things. Would you like I should ask him or should I send you his info and have you call him? You could ask him who it is you should ask....


----------



## yonit (Jun 14, 2006)

No Katie, I'm sorry. You have absolutely not offended me in the slightest. I am sorry if my answers are snarky, that isn't really my intent. I am just very frustrated. As I said in my first post, I am well aware that I am probably not thinking clearly right now...

I really am hoping that someone can talk me out of this as it isn't something that I really want to do - although at this very moment it seems really appealing.

I am really happy with my 4 children and feel amazingly blessed to have them and would have loved a bigger family. But I am also perfectly happy to not have more. I am not OK with continuing to have m/c's though- and honestly the only way I know to guarantee not having a m/c is to not get pg in the first place. So I need to find a way to stop that from happening - and honestly having less niddah time (time "apart" from DH) would be a HUGE thing as well.

If you wouldn't mind asking your Rav if he knows someone knowledgeable in this area that would be great.


----------



## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

With ablation you still ovulate so egg and sperm would still meet it just cant implant so you would still be m/c or aborting babies. Just had to mention that.

Yonit I am so sorry you have been through so much with loosing so many babies and dealing with a less than helpful medical establishment.


----------



## mamaverdi (Apr 5, 2005)

Judaism doesn't consider that aborting AFAIK. And probably not m/c either.

And Yonit, I don't mind asking him at all. I think Sara's link is probably the most helpful, but I will definitely email my Rav right now.








I wish I could give you a hug in person. You sound like you really need one.


----------



## zoie2013 (Mar 31, 2007)

I'm so sorry for your losses and for the decisions you are facing. I wish you strength and serenity while you are going through this.


----------



## mamaverdi (Apr 5, 2005)

Yonit, I have a name for you. It would be best for you to try to double check it with other sources. PM'ing.







s


----------



## HoosierDiaperinMama (Sep 23, 2003)

I'm so sorry for your losses, mama.









Have you been tested for clotting disorders?


----------

