# What are Your Favorite GD Books???



## Julian's Momma (Oct 25, 2006)

What are your favorite GD books? My DS is approaching his first birthday and I am looking for the best GD books to prepare myself for the new challenges I see coming over the horizon! I am very excited to learn more about GD and not sure where to start.

Vote for your favorites! This poll consists of books listed on the GD Sticky entitled, "Long Awaited GD Book List." I could not include them all, but figured it was a good place to start. Can you help me to narrow down my choices?

If your favorite is not on the poll list, PLEASE mark the "Other" option and elaborate with a reply! I am looking forward to your responses!

A few notes about this poll:
* This poll allows you to select more than one answer
* Books are listed in alphabetical order by author
* Some titles are abbreviated for practical purposes

Thanks so much for your help! I look forward to getting my hands on some good reading material soon!


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## rabbitmum (Jan 25, 2007)

Jesper Juul: "Your Competent Child" is really good!


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## mezzaluna (Jun 8, 2004)

first to comment on the ones i've read and don't recommend







i've read the sears one and it was ok, but not great. _magical child_ didn't appeal to me at all. _continuum concept_ had some really important ideas, but the context it was presented in was a real drawback. i'd say this one is worth borrowing from a library or friend and reading once, but i can't wholeheartedly recommend it. _kids are worth it_ - i liked most of the ideas, but i think i pretty much knew everything she was going to say just from hanging out here and from reading better books.

from the list i most love _how to talk..._

the one book i love that's not on that list is _adventures in gentle discipline_ by hilary flower. very practical and humane. perfect to read around the time my son turned one. i borrowed it from LLL, but then bought my own copy so i can loan it to friends and reread when i hit roadblocks in parenting.

other books not on the list that i've heard good things about but haven't read:
_playful parenting_
_becoming the parent you want to be_


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## DevaMajka (Jul 4, 2005)

I voted for How to talk, TCC, and SOP.

I'd also like to add Becoming the Parent You Want To Be. It was a sanity saver when ds was younger!
And I love anything that was written by Jan Hunt!!!
(oh, and I prefer Loving Your Child is Not Enough to How to talk. Very similar ideas, but a better read, imo)


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## EdnaMarie (Sep 9, 2006)

subbing


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## Roar (May 30, 2006)

Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn

Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline by Becky Bailey

Becoming the Parent You Want to Be


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## tatermom (Jun 11, 2005)

I voted for "How to talk" (my favorite to recommend to others), but I also like "Becoming the Parent You Want to Be" and I'm just now reading and very much enjoying M Kurcinka's "Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles".


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## RedWine (Sep 26, 2003)

The Explosive Child, by Ross Greene. It gives concrete steps, explaining how to create a more peaceful household. Very GD, very respectful of children. Easy read, too.


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## kawa kamuri (Apr 19, 2006)

:


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## happeeevraftr (Mar 27, 2005)

I voted for How to Talk, the Continuum Concept, and Kids are Worth it (the last probably being my favorite of the three).

But my absolute first recommendation is always Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn. Love it. It is so helpful as a starter, because it discusses the reasons (including logic and science) behind the theories. It's a little lacking in practical solutions, but that's what this forum is for. and the UP yahoo group









I'm also waiting to get Playful Parenting by Lawrence Cohen? I think? There's a book by that name at my library but it is definitely NOT the one people talk about on here, as it's filled with all types of suggestions for how to punish kids in "fun" ways. Gah! So make sure you check the author.)

And I also really want to read Naomi Aldort's Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves (another book that has a duplicate title out there. Make sure it's Naomi Aldort. Here's her website: http://naomialdort.com/ I've just been browsing the articles on her site and I am so inspired by her respect for children.

Good luck!


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## Llyra (Jan 16, 2005)

I also liked Playful Parenting a lot. Another one of my favorites is The Science of Parenting by Margot Sunderland. It's not exclusively focused on discipline, but it is very AP and GD in its focus and it really helped give me a focus for my overall approach to parenting. Plus it's a beautiful book with gorgeous pictures, so it's a pleasure to read.


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## EvansMomma (Mar 7, 2006)

I voted for KAWI but I also chose other because Unconditional Parenting is probably my MOST favourite.


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## BookGoddess (Nov 6, 2005)

I didn't see this book up there but I like "Children Learn What They Live" by Dorothy Law Nolte. It's a short book, not focused entirely on discipline but it's very respectful of children.


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## MtBikeLover (Jun 30, 2005)

My absolute most favorite parenting book (and I have read a lot!) is How to Talk.


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## MtBikeLover (Jun 30, 2005)

Also, I like Playful Parenting, but it wasn't on the list.


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

Another vote for Playful Parenting. It's one of the 2 or 3 parenting books that I OWN (the others I get from the library).

I also like Kids, Parents & Power Struggles by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka - I think it's a better, more up to date version of "The Spirited Child". Maybe I just liked it because it talked more about the parents. (Turns out I'm the only spirited one in the family, everyone else is just spunky!)

I'm just reading "Becoming the Parent you Want to Be" so we'll see if that ever makes my top list.


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## umsami (Dec 1, 2003)

I really love "Playful Parenting" and "Adventures in Gentle Discipline." I need to buy "How to Talk..." again as DS1 threw it in the toilet about a day after it arrived from Amazon.


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## BeanyMama (Jul 25, 2006)

I'm reading "Parent and Child" by Haim Ginott. The original GD book







I love it.

How to talk..., and kids are worth it are big favs too. Super dog-eared


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## oceanbaby (Nov 19, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Roar* 
Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn

Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline by Becky Bailey

Becoming the Parent You Want to Be

Those would be mine. I haven't read a lot of the ones on the poll.


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## BlueSkyJennifer (Dec 11, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *happeeevraftr* 
But my absolute first recommendation is always Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn. Love it. It is so helpful as a starter, because it discusses the reasons (including logic and science) behind the theories. It's a little lacking in practical solutions, but that's what this forum is for. and the UP yahoo group









Ditto that! UP is my favorite. I also love Playful Parenting and
Becoming the Parent You Want to Be. I voted for How to Talk and "other". I also love the Siblings without Rivalry book (same authors as How to Talk).


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## Enudely (Jul 2, 2005)

Unconditional Parenting
Hold on to Your kids
The Aware Baby
The Last Child in the Woods

def. How to talk and Continuum Concept are awesome.
I also love Laurie Bouke's Infant Potty training


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## Martha_2sons (Mar 28, 2007)

I'll add Connection Parenting by Pam Leo. It's a wonderful book!


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## Julian's Momma (Oct 25, 2006)

Thanks for all of your votes and feedback.... keep 'em coming if you have more to say! I am diligently taking notes and getting ready for a trip to the library!

Many of your "other" suggestions are listed on the sticky already. When creating the poll, I had to leave quite a few out (I think there were about 30 or so in total, and the poll only allows for 15). So, I arbitrarily picked them and see that I left out some of your favs!

Again, thanks for the advice! Happy reading!!!


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## beanma (Jan 6, 2002)

my "other" votes are for:

Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka (don't think it's a great title since it's mainly about learning to recognize different temperaments in your family and how to respond to every one's needs and avoid triggering power struggles. it's the one parenting book that i've read that truly is NOT a one-size fits all approach.)

Playful Parenting by Lawrence Cohen (lots of good practical tips)

Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn (not many practical tips, but a great underlying philosophy)

hth, fun poll!

maybe you could make a second one with the titles you left out.


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## Wendy~ (May 15, 2005)

another vote for "Unconditional Parenting" by Alfie Kohn

"Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves" by Naomi Aldort

those are my two favorites. I also like Kucinka's books, and the "Playful Parenting" one.


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## hubris (Mar 8, 2003)

The only one on the list I voted for was "How to Talk...". Fabulous book. I read it when DS1 was a little under 1 y/o and even though he was too young to put most of the actual suggestions into practice, it laid the foundation for our parenting, totally changed my point of view on children, and made me understand GD.

I prefer books that ask a parent to reconsider their view of the world and of their children, rather than books that give concrete suggestions for specific situations. I feel like the specifics can flow from having a different POV. To that end, two of my favorites are:

_Unconditional Parenting_ (Kohn)

_Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves_ (Aldort)


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## mistymama (Oct 12, 2004)

My two faves are Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline (even though it does read a bit like a 12 step program, IMO, it's an excellent book).

and of course...

Unconditional Parenting


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## Rivka5 (Jul 13, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BeanyMama* 
I'm reading "Parent and Child" by Haim Ginott. The original GD book







I love it.

How to talk..., and kids are worth it are big favs too. Super dog-eared









Oh yeah, Haim Ginott is the _best._ I think the full title is actually "Between Parent and Child."

I love his work because it balances the needs and feelings of the parent with the needs and feelings of the child. Some of the other GD books I've read give the impression that it doesn't matter how unhappy or burdened the parent is, as long as the child's free spirit isn't even the teensiest bit blighted.


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## Carinthia (Jan 10, 2007)

I just started out reading myself into the GD literature and the first book I read was

"Your competent child"

I want to give another strong vote for this book. It changed my life and really made me go back into my childhood and work out some things.... I love the way he (Jesper Juul) puts forth ideas without needing to map out a "parenting approach/method". I also think about his concept of "self esteem vs. self confidence" and how self confidence can't replace self esteem all the time. I find it everywhere now. Well, I think it's an awesome book!


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## hippymomma69 (Feb 28, 2007)

Becky Bailey's book "Easy to Love Difficult to Discipline"


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## sagira (Mar 8, 2003)

Love this question!

These are my absolute favorites:

1. How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk
2. The Discipline Book
3. The Natural Child: Parenting from the Heart
4. The Successful Child
5. Raising Children, Raising Ourselves
6. Positive Discipline
7. The Secret of Parenting (I'm not finished reading it yet, but I LOVE it!)

Other helpful ones: Unconditional Parenting, Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline

I haven't read Kids Are Worth It! yet, but I'm intrigued. I also like Hold On to Your Kids.


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## transylvania_mom (Oct 8, 2006)

I hated Positive Discipline. It advocates and encourages CIO. I stopped reading it when I got to the following part:
"When children sleep with you, they are not learning "I am capable". Parents usually suffer more than their children do while helping their children learn they can go to sleep by themselves. [...]
We suggest you put the children in separate bedrooms. They will probably cry for three to five nights... etc. etc."


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## sagira (Mar 8, 2003)

Oh, that's the only part I ignore about the Positive Discipline books. I never CIO, obviously. But it has so many worthwhile gems it has really helped me to be a positive parent and change my paradigms before ds got into the toddler years. And I posted its 41 strategies on my bedroom door, so it has to be a favorite. I always adapt everything I read to suit me, but it has been remarkably good for me.

I also really like Adventures in Gentle Discipline (own it as well) and respected Becoming the Parent You Want To Be.

I only own Parenting With Love and Logic (got it for free) to glean some tips in it for the middle or teen years. I do not agree with their philosophy for rearing young children at all. It's brutal IMO.


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## Janelovesmax (Feb 17, 2006)

I voted Raising Your Spirited Child and Continuum Concept, because those are the only ones I read on the list, but I did love them!!!

Not to hijack the thread, but I have a very spirited 2 year boy and here are the books on my list to buy. I can't afford all of them so can you narrow it down to 3 for me? He is very active, very energetic, friendly but loud, his way or the highway, spirited,explosive, emotional little man. Real challenge.

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen
Raising Your Child, Raising Yourself
EAsy to Love Difficult to Discipline
Parent and Child
Unconditional Parenting
Playful Parenting
Explosive child


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## beanma (Jan 6, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Janelovesmax* 
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen
Raising Your Child, Raising Yourself
EAsy to Love Difficult to Discipline
Parent and Child
Unconditional Parenting
Playful Parenting
Explosive child

of those, i'd recommend "Playful Parenting" as one to get. i like "how to talk", but i don't know if you're going to get too much more from that than from "spirited child". i really like "kids, parents, and power struggles" by kurcinka, but there's a lot of repetition btwn it and "spirited child" so if you're buying it might not be worth it. Unconditional Parenting is a good read, too, although it does not have a heap of specific techniques to help you in parenting a spirited little one. it is inspiring, though. i have not read "raising your child..." or "easy to love..." or "explosive child" although i do have that one on order.

hth


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## hubris (Mar 8, 2003)

Janelovesmax, did you mean the Naomi Aldort book for the second one you listed? If so, the three I'd get would be:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Janelovesmax* 
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen
Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves
Unconditional Parenting OR Playful Parenting

I cheated, that's four, not three...but I gave the 3rd/4th as an either/or, so it counts, right?







They're not interchangeable, it's just by my order of preference.


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## boigrrrlwonder (Jan 18, 2007)

I have to say I wrote of The Continuum Concept as soon as the author went on a diatribe about how unnatural homosexuality was, but that's just my opinion.


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## blsilva (Jul 31, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Roar* 

Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline by Becky Bailey


That's my favorite so far.


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## mom22girls (May 5, 2005)

I never see Parent Effectiveness Training on GD lists but it (and the author) are mentioned in Unconditional Parenting a lot. My mother read it when I was little. It's like "how to talk" but it takes it further. Maybe the whole "training" part of the title puts people off.

I also like Raising Your Spirited Child, and how it illustrates the many dimensions of spiritedness. Just because your kid isn't bouncing off the ceiling doesn't mean they're not spirited - it also offers great suggestions.

The Continuum Concept is more academic background reading, but I think it sets up a premise for AP.


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## alcabel05 (Jul 20, 2005)

.


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## Genesis (Jan 8, 2007)

Thanks for listing all those books, I needed some resources.


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## mpeel (Nov 20, 2001)

_Unconditional Parenting_ by far. _Hold On To Your Kids_ for those with kids past toddlerhood. You should probably read it by toddlerhood but it applies more to older children. But, every parent should read UP.


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## Janelovesmax (Feb 17, 2006)

Alright. Took me awhile to find this thread!

I read a lot of suggested books and here are my thoughts:

Explosive Child - a must read for parents who have children with strong outbursts. It is in fact gentle in my opinion, but offers step by step solutions. Thumbs up!

Raising Your Children Raising Yourself by Naomi Aldort - phenomenal. Very inspirational. Thumbs up!

Playful Parenting by Lawrence Cohen - tons of great practical advice, also very inspirational. Thumbs up!

How to Talk to Kids so They Listen and how to Listen so kids talk - that was the most fun to read, not completely non-coersive, but ideas are just fantastic. Completely gentle in my opinion. Against time-outs or any other forms of punishment. Thumbs up!

Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn - speaks for itself. Thumbs up!


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## ZanZansMommy (Nov 8, 2003)

How to Talk so Kids will Listen is wonderful.

I've also read PET (Parent Effectiveness Training) which I think is FABULOUS







. Real concrete examples & not just the Why to use GD. I listened to it on tape & then bought the book as a quick reference. I highly recommend it


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## Jwebbal (May 31, 2004)

I just started reading Elizabeth Pantley's (How to Talk) new book, The No-Cry Discipline Solution: Gentle Ways to Encourage Good Behavior Without Whining, Tantrums, and Tears http://www.amazon.com/No-Cry-Discipline-Solution-Encourage-Behavior/dp/0071471596/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-1669660-0414523?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1188952501&sr=8-1

I am really liking it. It really fits me at this point in my life. There is a whole chapter on Anger as well, something I don't see addressed in most books. As in MY anger. It's also very practical, with lots of good information, I like theory books to get on the bandwagon, but need more concrete advice on HOW to do it the right way.


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