# There's just no way I can deliver naturally!



## NJ*Doula (Apr 14, 2006)

.


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## Daisie125 (Oct 26, 2005)

Eh, I'm a big baby when I'm on my period. I gave birth naturally. It means nothing. Even if the pains are similar, labor and birth is such a totally different kind of pain.


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## RiverSky (Jun 26, 2005)

If your periods aren't usually like that, my guess is that you might be having a miscarriage. That sounds like the pain I have with my two miscarriages. I've read that 40% of pregnancies end in miscarriage, sometimes the mother didn't know she was pregnant.

And don't worry, each labor is often different so even if you have one tough labor, that doesn't mean your next one will be. Also, sometimes miscarriage pain is far worse than that of labor, or at least that's what some moms who have experienced both have said.

Don't give up hope! You can do it!


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## ~MoonGypsy~ (Aug 21, 2006)

Meh, I seem more sensitive to pain when Aunt Flo is here.

And FWIW, you get no reward for putting up with AF pain, but you do for labor pain.







Your mind processes it differently.


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## NJ*Doula (Apr 14, 2006)

.


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## jocelyndale (Aug 28, 2006)

AF generally sends me to sleep on the cold tile of the bathroom floor, with the toilet close by. Labor was hard work, but the contractions weren't anywhere near as painful as my period. The sciatica which accompanied each contraction was a different story, but I knew it would be over soon. Different mindset, I suppose.


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## Meredith&Alexander (May 23, 2005)

Count me in as another AF wimp, but successful natural birther. They're not mutually exclusive!


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## velcromom (Sep 23, 2003)

I have had horrible AF pain in the past, equivalent to early labor sensations. I wish I'd taken it as an opportunity to learn coping methods, if I'd only known, it could have been a chance to "practise" dealing with it.

You might want to read Active Birth by Janet Balaskas, and also there are some ideas that you can start using before you are ever pg in Birthing From Within - I've used their Non-Focused Awareness tool and also deep relaxation successfully for pain. There's also Hypnobabies.

And anyway, when you have AF pain, there's usually nobody there with you supporting you, cheering you on and reminding you there's an amazing reward at the end, wouldn't that be nice


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## SublimeBirthGirl (Sep 9, 2005)

It's different. For one, you learn how to listen to your body and make yourself more comfortable. For another thing, you know you're doing what's best for your baby, and that there's a PRIZE at the end (a drug-free baby). With you period, it's just cramps and blood, no prize. Not to mention how hormones work during labor, your mental state, etc. There are more differences than similarities.


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## LianneM (May 26, 2004)

I agree with the PPs who said it's totally different. I went through labor and delivery and the contractions afterwards were worse, I thought.







I've had period cramps that were much harder to deal with than labor. And I was in labor 21 hours from the time I woke up with strong ctrx until DS was born









Don't give up! You can do it


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## BelgianSheepDog (Mar 31, 2006)

Completely different. Period cramps tend to be more constant than labor contractions, for one thing. If you get bad cramps, it's like being in transition all day. Most of labor is spaced out and less relentless.


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## fishface (Jan 6, 2007)

Quote:

ETA: Since someone mentioned it, no, my periods are never like this! I always get the same type of pain, but it's never been anywhere near this bad.
I had a period like that once before. A few years ago I woke up in the middle of the night CRYING from period pain. Sometimes I get faint cramps, but RARELY anything remotely painful and this was EXCRUCIATING. I somehow made it down to my bathroom (I lived in the attic) and ripped it apart looking for Aleve or Advil or ANYTHING. A hammer would have been handy. I rolled around in my bed in total misery and no position helped. I somehow managed to fall back asleep and all pain was gone by the time I woke up in the morning.


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## mamakima (Dec 11, 2005)

I'm a big fan of using positive language to manifest ones goals. Try saying I know I am capable of having the birth experience I have always dreamed of. If you are ttc now by the time labor comes around you will have been giving yourself this lovely message for nice length of time. Our bodies believe our words. You CAN give birth naturally!


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## savithny (Oct 23, 2005)

I used to have really, really, awful periods.

In labor, I kept waiting for labor to get as painful as my period cramps.

When it finally did, my water broke and I was ready to push.

Many of the coping techniques I developed over the years to deal with cramps were VERY useful in dealing with labor.


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## sweeetpea (Jun 14, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *savithny* 
I used to have really, really, awful periods.

In labor, I kept waiting for labor to get as painful as my period cramps.

When it finally did, my water broke and I was ready to push.

Many of the coping techniques I developed over the years to deal with cramps were VERY useful in dealing with labor.

ITA with the pp!

I had a client who had REALLY bad periods. With her first baby, she was planning birth with an epidural because she "knew" she was a wimp with pain, since she had such a hard time every month. When she went into labor, by the time she realized that the contractions were not going to get as bad as her monthly pains, she was complete and pushing. She's an absolute convert to natural birth and has had two more without pain meds since the first one!

You will do great!


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## mf_colon (Oct 6, 2006)

I think the pain is different. There is a certain rhythm to labor- contractions are usually have a set pattern and you can prepare for it mentally, whereas cramps come and go at any time. Plus, labor was not all about pain for me, many times I just felt intense pressure especially towards the end.

Plus, you will be in a different state of mind during labor. You will have grown life inside of you for 9 months- you would be surprised what hidden strength you will have when the time comes.

Dont give up on the idea just yet! Trust me, you will be able to do it when the time comes.


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## muttix2 (Apr 24, 2005)

Alright, I'm going to go against the wave and say, my births were MUCH more painful than af.

However, I was and still am, a big wimp about pain. My periods used to leave me on the floor crying to my mom to "save me, help me, kill me". Seriously.







But I made the decision to give birth naturally and within the millions of great reasons why was the fact that epidurals HURT to be put in. Sometimes they have to try over and over. No WAY was I going to let someone do that to me







The fact that they hurt is what led me to read "Misconceptions" which led me to give birth naturally.

So just because you can't deal with period pain is no reason to not give birth naturally. Also, my periods hurt a lot less since having my kids. Used to take Midol, I had to have something throughout the first half of my period or I'd "die"







Now I get a little uncomfy and sometimes wish I would take some meds but I don't and they don't hinder me.

ETA: When I had my m/c it was so painful. I took meds trying to ease the pain and when they wore off I almost had a conniption in the waiting room of the hospital (they were ignoring me). I then took meds throughout the entire thing (week or so?) So I agree, when you know you're getting a baby at the end, it is different.


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## natashaccat (Apr 4, 2003)

It's different because you are doing NCB for your baby. Knowing that will give you strength you need to get through it, at least that was what kept me going.


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## AugustLia23 (Mar 18, 2004)

I used to have really, really bad period cramps and be laid up for 2 days in bed moaning thinking that if only I could stab myself in the stomach, the cramps would go away. I would even occ. take percocet or other perscription narcotics when I had them.

I gave birth to my son in august 2005(first birth) completely naturally. The big difference between period cramps and contraction: 1. labor pains go away, the break between contractions was almost heavenly and 2. I got a baby from my labor pains.

I'm 24 weeks along with my 3rd child and 2nd pregnancy and am so looking forward to giving birth. I have always said I had a low pain tolerance, but it's much better after having given birth. Best thing that helped me give birth naturally was to do it away from the option of an epidural, homebirth is the way to go!


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## vespertine (Mar 24, 2006)

Don't worry, your baby will be the driving force keeping you going!~ It's amazing, you just pull the strength up from somewhere, and suddenly you'e through it, holding your little one in your arms. Don't resign yourself to the fact you won't be able to handle it... not true. You'll surprise yourself, trust me


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## SublimeBirthGirl (Sep 9, 2005)

Oh, my births were *definitely* more painful than AF. I hope I didn't imply otherwise. It's just too different to compare. I'm happy to reach for an Advil or 3 the first couple of days of my period. I used to get cramps that kept me home from school when I was a teenager, but labor was till more painful. It was just very DIFFERENT. It's kind of like, what hurts more, labor or a migraine? Well, they're very different and impossible to compare - labor isn't like ANYTHING else you will ever go through.


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## Meg_s (Apr 13, 2006)

I've had period pains that I'd choose labour over!! Seriously.. being on your period can make you so sensitive even you skin hurts and you just feel so wimpy and vulnerable. Have you ever played sports? Or trained physically to a high degree? If you've ever played soccer for example, thinking about how you feel when you're in the middle of a game, your adrenaline is rushing your muscles are pumped and you're running as hard as you can after the ball and collide with someone and go flying into a CRAZY tumble where you wipe out with multiple grazes etc. You barely feel it. Ok later in the week you're limping and covered in bruises and sores but at the time it's nothing, it's exhilarating.. the same thing (imo) happens in labour. It's definitely not comparable to dealing with pain in a normal state.


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## sevenkids (Dec 16, 2002)

My DD always experienced horrible cramps with her period. When she was having her baby, the nurse kept offering her an epidural, which she kept refusing. The anesthesiologist came in, and in typical anesthesiologist fashion, told her she had to get the epidural now or it would be too late. My DD, who by this point was as annoyed as can be after arguing with him for 15minutes during transitional labour, shouted, "I've had f***ing period cramps worse than this! I didn't see you offering me an epidural then, did I?"









So he left, and the nurse backed off. She turned to me, grabbed my hand, and said, "Mommy, can I have a Tylenol? This really hurts!"









She had the baby less than 15 minutes later.


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## Jenlaana (Oct 28, 2005)

One of the reasons that I chose to give birth naturally, and will do so again, is because, to be completely truthful, I am terrified of the pain involved in hospital "assistance". I had a spinal (which is much like an epidural but higher on the spine) and a large gage IV put in my hand. Because I had all of these things (along with a catheter that took 3 tries to be put in because the nurse was inept, and being very cold, and a dozen other discomforts I could list) all I remember about the birth is how much it hurt and how uncomfortable it was. With my next child I chose to have her at home, w/ just my DH in attendence. Labor was almost enjoyable, because it was a mix of the contractions and the excitement of knowing the time was almost upon us. The hard part of my home birth lasted about 20-30 minutes, during transition and pushing. The hard part of my hospital birth lasted from the first blood test until the moment they released me from all of the machines after the birth (not counting the years of after effects of having ended up w/ a cesarean)

Imagine the difference between having pain, and being forced to lie still in a cold room with needles poked in you, and having pain. Also you have to factor in the added interventions that go along with an epidural, as well as the humiliating things about hospital birth that many nurses and doctors take for granted. For me, pain is much easier to handle if I can move around into the most comfortable positions for it, which is pretty hard to do in most hospital settings, especially when they have you set up on an IV and planning an epi.


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## nadia105 (Jul 16, 2003)

I would always have to take Advil for period cramps b/c they were so bad and I also worried that I wouldn't be able to give brith w/o drugs b/c I 'wimped out' every month and took the Advil.

Well, I've had NCB twice and am about to do it again. As pps have said, the two are not the same at all. I never had any break in period cramps, but there are breaks during contractions. PLus, depending on things like the position of the baby and relaxation of the mother, contractions aren't necessarily painful -- intense, yes, but not always painful.


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## ericswifey27 (Feb 12, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *fishface* 
I had a period like that once before. A few years ago I woke up in the middle of the night CRYING from period pain. Sometimes I get faint cramps, but RARELY anything remotely painful and this was EXCRUCIATING. I somehow made it down to my bathroom (I lived in the attic) and ripped it apart looking for Aleve or Advil or ANYTHING. A hammer would have been handy. I rolled around in my bed in total misery and no position helped. I somehow managed to fall back asleep and all pain was gone by the time I woke up in the morning.


Me too. Just one time. When I did get pregnant, a cyst was found. (It eventually went away on its own during my successful pregnancy) I think that might be what caused all the pain. Something to look in to...


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## NJ*Doula (Apr 14, 2006)

.


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## eviesingleton (Jan 18, 2007)

I was thinking about this post in the shower this morning. I have a pretty high tolerance for pain, but I always take an Aleve as soon as my period comes (before the crams start) so I started to wonder if I was actually kidding myself about natural childbirth.

Then I thought of it this way. What if I didn't have to go to work/clean the house/study/work on my thesis/etc. and I could sit in bed and drink refreshing beverages and eat fruit and visualize getting rid of the cramps? Would they be so bad then?


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## _betsy_ (Jun 29, 2004)

I have bad/heavy/painful periods when not on BCP.

I never worried about my ability to birth without pain meds, htough. The two just never connected for me, I guess.

I got to 100% effaced and 4 cms dialated before ever even feeling a single contraction. I had my baby 2 hours later with no pain meds.

It can totally be dopne, but you need to be in the mental space to do it. If you think you can't, then you're right, you won't be able to. But if you believe in your body's ability to birth naturally, and trust your body, and have good support, you can give yourself a much better chance to do it naturally.


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## paquerette (Oct 16, 2004)

Slightly ot, but if you keep having early losses maybe you should be checked for hypothyroid and pcos.







It would be a good idea to at least get progesterone looked at while you're m/cing to see if that's a factor.


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## velcromom (Sep 23, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GathererGirl* 
(I'll be going to midwife but will birth in a hospital, husband mightnot even be there, I don't have a mother or sister, we can't afford a doula...so it'll just be me, panting and groaning alone) I do worry about how I'll do.










You may be able to find a doula in training who needs to attend births for her certification - for free. It's worth investigating!


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## bandgeek (Sep 12, 2006)

I used to have really bad period pain, and actually, the labor pains I had between about 4 and 5 cm were about like my period cramps. But then the back labor kicked in, which was nothing like period cramps, so I can't compare. But really, try not to worry about it too much. Some women get light cramps and can't understand why us other women are complaining, and the women with bad cramps are thinking they must be wimps. I don't think it really has much to do with how well you'll manage the pain of labor. For one thing, period cramps are much more annoying because they are POINTLESS! Labor pains are actually productive and you know with each one you are closer.


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## notjustmamie (Mar 7, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bandgeek* 
But then the back labor kicked in, which was nothing like period cramps, so I can't compare.

Interesting...Almost all of my crampiness (is that a word?) with AF is in my back. Back labor felt very familiar to me.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bandgeek* 
Labor pains are actually productive and you know with each one you are closer.

My sister told me this, too. I really didn't feel that way until I was actually pushing and could feel DD's head moving down. Then again, I was a little overwhelmed dealing with the Pitocin-induced contractions which didn't feel at all like the nice bell curve I'd been told to expect.

Amy


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## pamamidwife (May 7, 2003)

Considering that contractions come and go, and are painful only for 40-60 seconds at a time and menstrual cramps are constant - not to mention there is no endorphin rush with AF or even a reward of a baby...

I am a big wuss with AF. I have to take mega doses of Aleve just to ward off vomiting and diarrhea.

To me, the risks of going without drugs are far less than going with.

To compare AF and labor is hard. There are so many variables involved. I also know that laboring in your own home, with people who care about you and believe in you, is going to take you farther than all the drugs in the world lying flat on your back in an institution of fear.


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## georgia (Jan 12, 2003)

Quote:

I also know that laboring in your own home, with people who care about you and believe in you, is going to take you farther than all the drugs in the world lying flat on your back in an institution of fear.
and IME, I totally, totally agree


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## mamato3cherubs (Nov 30, 2004)

As for support during childbirth, a good midwife may be all you need. Many women go in thinkin gthey need an army, and most end up wishing it had been more private. You need to look inside yourself.

And I would bet you can find a doula that does volunteer births, or is doing fee free births during training, or will work according to your income. Dont discount any options just yet. If you think positive and continue your research with an open mind, it will all work out for the best!


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## lifescholar (Nov 26, 2006)

My doula charged me $250, because I'm a single mom. It seems like a lot now, but just think, if you put away $5/week for the next year, you'll have enough!

Plus, like others suggested, you can try to find a doula-in-training. That will be me next year, and I really hope I can help someone like you!









My period cramps were KILLER. I was a complete write-off for the first day of every period. Vomiting, almost passing out, lying on the bathroom floor praying for God to take either my pain or my life....all that good stuff.

But, the BIG difference with contractions, is that the pain only lasts a minute or so! After that minute, I felt like I could FLY! I remember joking to my doula, as we were walking the halls, that I felt soooooo good in between that I wanted to sprint down the hall! lol

I had painful contractions for 49 hours without medication. The last 7 hours of that were oxytocin-induced, which were even worse than period cramps. But, I still did it! Finally, I did get an epidural because I needed SLEEP, but I did really well handling the pain.

Keep practicing your techniques, and maybe look into Hypnobirthing, too! I can't wait to try that next time!









Good luck TTC'ing!


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## nova22 (Jun 26, 2004)

I might have some good news for you. I used to have horrific period pains and I thought I'd never be able to tolerate labor, but it was a lot different (like others have said) and I do think my worst period was WAY WORSE than any one of my three natural labors.

Plus - and this is the good part - after my son was born, I never had a really bad period again. The first postpartum period can be rough, but it was still nowhere near how bad my cramps used to be. I have talked to other women who have said the same thing...birth cured their PMS.


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## jocelyndale (Aug 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eviesingleton* 
Then I thought of it this way. What if I didn't have to go to work/clean the house/study/work on my thesis/etc. and I could sit in bed and drink refreshing beverages and eat fruit and visualize getting rid of the cramps? Would they be so bad then?

I've had that "luxury" for years. They're that bad.









And a bucket of uterine lining is nowhere near as precious as a baby. Hard to keep positive, even with sacred moon blood mantras.







:


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## ericswifey27 (Feb 12, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GathererGirl* 
My pain was almost all in my back, if that makes a difference.

Thanks for the encouragement ladies! I'm feeling much better today, completely back to normal period crabbiness and nothing more. I know that it's my fear talking, and that I'll at least try o go natural, but since I will have almost no support (I'll be going to midwife but will birth in a hospital, husband mightnot even be there, I don't have a mother or sister, we can't afford a doula...so it'll just be me, panting and groaning alone) I do worry about how I'll do.










It was awhile ago, but I think it was in my stomach and back, I was doubled over on the toilet from the pain. So not sure if that info helps or not.

As for the doula issue, it is one of my deepest regrets I didn't have one. It was our first baby, my husband was exhausted from working the night shift and sick with a cold, sleeping in the corner. And clueless like me, so not a big help. I went in to the hospital thinking that because I wanted a natural birth I was going to get one. I was not prepared. Doulas have been shown to reduce labor time and likelihood of a csection, so seriously, whatever you can do to save up money to get one, I would very much recommend it. Also, as other posters mentioned, you could look in to getting a volunteer doula who needs some training and is willing to work with you free or really cheap. And if it's not in your budget, ask the local midwifes...they may be able to find someone to help you free or low cost.


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## melissakc (Nov 13, 2006)

And don't forget about the endorphins afterwards! Having interventions like pitocin and an epidural interferes with the natural release of chemicals that help you get through labor naturally. After DD was born I was totally HIGH on endorphins, no joke! I felt incredibly powerful. Birthing a baby with your own strength and surrender is the most empowering thing I can imagine.

You can totally do it. You just have to reprogram your mind to get rid of all the negative images that are spewed forth about birth--from TV shows, your friends, your family, whatever. Start reading books about natural childbirth and the dangers of a medically managed birth and you will think differently about the whole thing. In the end I was much more afraid of a needle in my spinal cord than the pain of labor, and I ended up with back labor and a posterior baby, so it was more than "discomfort" or "pressure" for sure!


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## savithny (Oct 23, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *notjustmamie* 
Interesting...Almost all of my crampiness (is that a word?) with AF is in my back. Back labor felt very familiar to me.

My sister told me this, too. I really didn't feel that way until I was actually pushing and could feel DD's head moving down. Then again, I was a little overwhelmed dealing with the Pitocin-induced contractions which didn't feel at all like the nice bell curve I'd been told to expect.

Amy

Me too, and I had "back labor" both times. First time, I felt NOTHING across my abdomen. Midwife kept commenting, "Oh, you're having a contraction," and then I"d feel the wave of tightening across my back with a tight stabbing cramp in the middle of it and say "Oh, yeah, I guess I am."

Second time I could feel things in my abdomen, but it was still predominanly a back thing. I think I just am wired that way??


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## pinksprklybarefoot (Jan 18, 2007)

Just out of curiosity, why wouldn't your husband be present?

Granted I didn't need DF there to do anything, but it was nice knowing someone was there in case I got in a fight with the hospital staff.









I had a labor support person as well, and she was invaluable even though I didn't necessarily need her there to do anything either. It was just good to feel supported in such a scary environment.


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## rixafreeze (Apr 30, 2006)

Now that I'm thinking about it, labor was much more doable than my bad periods.

I birthed at home, unassisted, and I think that has a lot to do with what labor feels like. Hey, when you can move around as you like, when no one's watching you or bothering you, labor is lots easier!

Physiologically, labor produces HUGE amounds of endorphins (provided, of course, you don't have drugs or aren't stressed/fearful--those things inhibit the release of endorphins). I felt more and more high as my labor progressed. Kind of a loopy, dizzy, buzzed sensation. I don't think our bodies produce endorphins during our periods, so it's just the pain and discomfort with nothing to compensate for it.


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## NJ*Doula (Apr 14, 2006)

.


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## lalaland42 (Mar 12, 2006)

You can do it naturally! I believe in you!

As for a doula, I wouldn't want to have a baby without one. I know that our doula did sliding scale work, can you just look into finding one when the time comes? Also, I found Ina May's Guide to Childbirth to be very inspirational. I also took prenatal yoga from Collette Crawford who has a wonderful DVD. She helped my find my tough inner self.

My labor was painful but it was also relatively short and really, I wouldn't have it any other way. There is no way I could have had DD as easily had I been given drugs and I think in a lot of ways it was worse. I didn't lie down for the entire labor including pushing. All the feelings were amazing. Not to lie, it was hard work but soooo worth it.

Besides, now when DH complains I can tell him to stop whining, I had a 9.5 lb baby without drugs.









ETA: One thing that actually helped me when I was scared during pregnancy was remembering that the baby was coming out one way or another. I knew it would hurt but I wanted to control the pain and I thought being a passive recipient would hurt much worse. YMMV of course.


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## doulatara (Jun 20, 2006)

Check out bellywomen.net for a free or lowcost doula in your area. You can also call the ALACE office and they can refer someone to you who has done the training but isn't certified yet. Also contact a doula in the area, sometimes if they don't take on clients on a sliding scale, they can refer you to someone who does.

Also, for you and your DP, maybe look into HypnoBirthing? That way nerves and dealing with pain may not even be an issue. It benefits the partner just as much as the laboring mama, IMO.


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## courtenay_e (Sep 1, 2005)

Yuh. I had periods so bad that demerol didn't touch them. Not even a little. The only thing that actually ever made one of my bad periods better was Nubain, and then I promptly had an aniphylactic reaction to it. Nice.

Then, I started reading about natural birth because I had a spinal tap go bad and could not, for the LIFE of me, imagine taking care of a newborn with the spinal headache that I had from that tap for TWO WEEKS. It was two weeks flat on my back or the worse kind of gut wrenching, vomit inducing, brain sqeezing pain I have ever experienced! I then read about narcotics (knowing that demerol didn't help and nubain was a no-go) and about how they use narcan to make your baby awake if you've had narcotics and it's born too soon (they give Narcan to Heroin addicts in the ER when they've overdosed and are going to DIE, to reverse the effects of HEROIN)...I didn't like how that sounded, either.

SO I read a bunch and then found a midwife and then, when I got pregnant, I took a hypnobirthing class. My labors were really, very, very, VERY tolerable. Really, nothing like the periods of yore. With hormones to keep you going and to focus on relaxing through, it's very different, as pp's have said.

And, as a doula, I heartily agree that you will almost surely be able to find one who will work low cost or free, and I ALSO really strongly suggest that you start putting a few bucks a week into a "doula" fund, to give yourself the support you deserve as a laboring woman.

You'll do great.


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## Birth&Bunnies (Jan 3, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GathererGirl* 
My pain was almost all in my back, if that makes a difference.

Thanks for the encouragement ladies! I'm feeling much better today, completely back to normal period crabbiness and nothing more. I know that it's my fear talking, and that I'll at least try o go natural, but since I will have almost no support (I'll be going to midwife but will birth in a hospital, husband mightnot even be there, I don't have a mother or sister, we can't afford a doula...so it'll just be me, panting and groaning alone) I do worry about how I'll do.









I'm really good at finding people, and there are in-training Doulas. They usually don't charge. Email me if you want my help, and I can give you my number.


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## ABand3 (May 21, 2005)

I agree with everyone who says it's completely different, and you can do it! Every month when AF arrives I wonder to myself, as I'm popping ibuprofen, how on earth did I get through three unmedicated births? Period pain is just constant, no good pain. Labor is a job that you do, and if you surround yourself with people who can help you, you can get through it and yes, even enjoy it.


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