# Help...baby cries whenever put down to sleep



## Jknight (Nov 11, 2003)

My 8 month old's sleep/nap habits have become increasingly more difficult. My husband and I preferred for her to sleep in her own spot but have always opened up our bed if that was the only place she'd sleep...or the best place. She continues to wake up every 11/2 - 2 hours and it doesn't seem to matter where she is sleeping. Over the last few weeks (maybe more) she has had a cold and has been teething. Last week she spent the nights sleeping on either my or my husband because that was the only place she'd sleep. Now she seems to be a little better but everytime she falls asleep (nap or night time) and I lay her down she immediately wakes up screaming and reaches up to be held. Does anyone have any suggestions. I"m totally drained. I can't hold her all the time through all of her naps and it's ok if she needs to sleep in our bed but not on one of us. Has anyone gone through this? Any suggestions?


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## pageta (Nov 17, 2003)

Do you have a sling you can put her in? My ds was that way when he was first born and I would put him in the sling to sleep. If I wanted to sleep, I just put him in the sling in the snuggle hold and then sat in the recliner with it laid back and then I got some sleep. I would get him to sleep so his arms were limp and he would still wake up and scream, so I feel your pain. As big as she is, you may want to be semi-sitting up in the recliner because she may get heavy on your chest. Also, are you sure she is sound asleep when you try to put her down - limp limbs, etc.? You may want to get her to sleep in a very dark and quiet room and then be sure she is completely sound asleep and then put her down and lie down next to her so she still feels you. Pay attention also to the warmth of the surface you're putting her down on - cold sheets may be enough to wake her up. I have a friend who would use a heating pad where she wanted to put down her ds (she removed the heating pad right before she put him down, of course).

Good luck!


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## DaryLLL (Aug 12, 2002)

Sounds like this is a temporary thing brought on by the cold, teething and maybe separation anxiety?

Why can't you hold her for her naps? I know, I know, other duties call. But dust bunnies can wait, babies shouldn't have to. Let her get a good nap in a sling or next to you in bed. Then, when she is rested and happy, do chores together (and lower your standards for a while). It takes longer, but so what? That's what having kids is all about.

Loving care now pays off big dividends later.


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## perditafoster (Sep 30, 2003)

Firstly...







Right there with ya, mama! My dd is just a bit older than yours (mine will be 9 months old tomorrow) and we regularly go through the same thing! How wonderful that you have a dh who is willing to let your babe snooze on him! My dh is wonderful, too...he frequently takes Bridget out to the living room and lets her sleep on him while I get a nap or a few hours' sleep at night. My only advice: hang in there. No magic fix, no quick cure. Bridget goes through cycles...no rhyme or reason to 'em, but she'll sleep great at night, well, only getting up 2 or 3 times, for a few nights then she wakes up screaming every hour for a few nights. Right now, she's sleeping peacefully beside me. Yesterday, she wouldn't nap in the afternoon. Sigh. I agree with the other moms about slacking up on housework...so difficult to do, but it sounds so easy. However, when I lie in my bed and look at all the crap scattered around, I just get to itchin' to clean. But I usually resist.

My dh lets me have a girl from the local college come by once a week and clean. We pay her $25 and she cleans the whole house. Well, at least the rooms she can get into! It's a lifesaver because she does the toilets, tub, etc. You know, stuff that's hard to do with a baby in a sling! I can fold clothes and spiff, even vacuum, with Bridget in her sling, but I can't do the tub/floors/etc. Is there any way y'all could afford a cleaning girl? Not a service, since they're so expensive, but maybe a teenager to come once a week? We basically pay this girl slave wages for as hard as she works







Hang in there, mama...I know it will get easier. Oh, I just remembered, Bridget fell asleep lying across me as I laid in bed last night. She absolutely would not go to sleep any other way! But I know in a few years, we'll look back on these times and be so happy that we did the right thing for our babies. Think of me tonight as you're trying to get your little one to go to sleep...I'll be doing the same thing!


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## Jknight (Nov 11, 2003)

Yes, I could definitely let her sleep on me during naps. I guess I just get nervous that then she will expect to and feel like she needs to sleep on me or my husband everytime she takes a nap or goes to sleep until she goes to college. The other great concern is that if she has to sleep on us or next to us at night then when can my husband and I have "time" together?


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## Jknight (Nov 11, 2003)

Oh it is so good to hear the I'm doing the right thing....I often question AP when all my friends' babies are sleeping through the night. It's great to hear that others of you are struggling through the same thing. The idea of having someone come to clean the house is a great idea...i'll run it by the hubby tonight. So, if I let her sleep on us/next to us...during this cold/teething/separation anxiety time, can I expect that in a few months we'll be able to wean her of this a bit? Any thoughts?

Also, having her right next to us at night seems that she would want to nurse more frequently. I know that this is a selfish thought...but we'd love to have another baby close together in age and I know that nursing through the night will make this less likely. I know I know ...I need to let go of this and let God/nature make this happen at the right time. But still...it kinda nags me.


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## EllieB (Nov 14, 2003)

_originally posted by Jknight_

Quote:

So, if I let her sleep on us/next to us...during this cold/teething/separation anxiety time, can I expect that in a few months we'll be able to wean her of this a bit?
I think so. At least with my ds, who is 10 mo. He just went through a very rough period of non-napping, non-sleeping. I couldn't let him sleep on top of me for naps b/c I have 2 kids but at night my dh let him sleep on him. And in the past couple days, he is suddenly better! I can put him down for naps again, he sleeps through the night again... After 2 kids with serious sleep issues I'm starting to think there's nothing much you can do during these times except ride it out the best you can...


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## MisfitMama (Sep 4, 2003)

Hey, have you thought of getting an Ergo or another back carrier, like a Didymos or a Packababy?

I can carry my ds around this way while he's asleep, and since he's on my back, I can get lots done.

I got mine at Peppermint.com

MisfitMama


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## mamaagain (Dec 16, 2003)

It sounds great to carry your baby around all day while s/he naps, however, it doesn't work so well when you have a preschooler also at home with you. Especially when your baby wakes easily due to noise, etc. The other child also tends not to receive adequate attention. I did the same thing with ds for about six months, and am now doing the same thing with dd (41/2 months) but it's not working so well this time. If cleaning were the only thing I were worried about it would be a relief.


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## Oklahoma Mama (Feb 12, 2003)

My ds needed holding for naps or he needed to sleep right next to me. I must say I was a well rested mom







I often slept when he did or brought some books to read while he slept next to me. Later on I figured out another system. I nursed him to sleep on a Boppy pillow while I sat at the computer. He eventually grew out of needing this.


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