# I am done, over, threw - I will not be going or their will not be one



## khaoskat (May 11, 2006)

I have had it with my in-laws. I understand to a point that they are trying to be helpful.

We decided to cremate and keep the ashes for a while and eventually bury/intur. They offered to allow us to intur/bury above Grandpa. We declined and explained, again, our reasons for not doing it now.

Today, the day before her funeral was supposed to be, they call wanting to know if there is going to be a graveside service so they know how to dress. Ok, so apparently they think that somehow between Friday and this morning we are going to have miraculously changed our minds without calling or telling or anything them.

I just feel it is more pressure from them to intur/bury our child, because that is what they want. I try to discuss it with DH, based upon how they have made me feel in the past when we have tried stuff....and I get absolutely no support, except to say the past stuff has no bearing on the here and now.

So, as of right now, the funeral is either off for Monday or I am not going. I am not going to deal with these people.

I actually called them and told them to open the flipping grave and I will bury my child there, and that the funeral is off for Monday.


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## iamama (Jul 14, 2003)

I am so sorry you have to deal with this...hugs


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## oliversmum2000 (Oct 10, 2003)




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## gretasmommy (Aug 11, 2002)

So sorry others are making this already difficult time even more so.

Take your time.

Listen only to yourselves.

Do what feels right. That's the only way I have found I won't have regrets later.

Take care, mama.


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## momz3 (May 1, 2006)

I am so sorry you are going through this








Unfortunately, family is this way when you have aloss. I remember when I lost, my mom and other family wanted to plan everything for me. Me, being drugged up and grieving so hard I let them, now I regret. They made the funeral arrangements and worst of all, picked out her headstone without calling over the phone to ask me if that was what I wanted...I regret every bit of it now...so no matter what, DO NOT give in to something you do not want. This is your baby. Do not let family try to take over. Sometimes they are ONLY trying to help. I know mine didn't want me to stress over arrangements, but still.Make sure you tell them ...firmly on what is going to happen. Do not let them question you. I am so sorry for you r loss. Goodluck sweetie.


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## MommyCarla (Oct 22, 2006)

i am so sorry they are being so selfish over this. that is your child and you need to do what is right for you and your husband. don't let them tell you what to do. don't change your way of grieving to get them to hush. again, i am sorry


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## bbaron (Oct 10, 2006)

I am so sorry that you have to go through even more anger at this already difficult.
I have to strongly agree with MommyCarla. My in laws are Jewish, and their beliefs are that the body is to be taken out of the world the same way it came into the world. I disagree, and we had decided to cremate as well.
You have to do what is going to be right in your heart.


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## CrunchyMamaOf3 (Apr 7, 2006)

I'm sorry you are going through this. We cremated our baby and still have his ashes on a shelf like shrine we made for him and it's been a big comfort to have him here with us in our home. Please make the choice that's right for you, not them.
Hugs,


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