# 12 year old son



## lauriesinglemom (Jun 30, 2016)

Hi everyone

My name is Laurie and I am a single mom to a 12 year old son. We are both Christian and divorced as my ex husband left for someone else and hasnt even made contact with myself or his son. Its sad but life goes on and with God as my savior, it's been a blessing so far for the lord keeping me strong. 

The other day, I caught my son ( yes , I am assuming you know where I am going with this ) in his room and I am having such a struggle right now to talk and explain things . I feel like I am failing as his mother to explain quote , unquote " life " and yes puberty. 

Has anyone been through this or can offer advice .


Laurie


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## SchoolmarmDE (Apr 23, 2012)

lauriesinglemom said:


> Hi everyone
> 
> My name is Laurie and I am a single mom to a 12 year old son. We are both Christian and divorced as my ex husband left for someone else and hasnt even made contact with myself or his son. Its sad but life goes on and with God as my savior, it's been a blessing so far for the lord keeping me strong.
> 
> ...


Well, my experience with boys is that they have their hands down there pretty much from birth on.

I was part of a Shakespeare play once, with 40 fairies, on risers, on stage. They ranged in age from 5-12. At one point (and several of us noticed it) every single one of the boy ones had his hand absently under his costume. Just passing the time.

So, I suggest trying to get into the habit of knocking, before you go in.

He needs to know that there is a time and place for any activity, but you would have to give him that. At this point, the "sex talk" is mostly about treating people with respect (including strangers and other people he may see pictures of, undressed) and being aware that sharing yourself physically with another person is a serious and sacred committment.


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## philomom (Sep 12, 2004)

Masturbation is completely normal and should never, ever be shamed. When he needs to do that, he needs to lock the door. It is like picking your nose. Everyone does it, no one wants to watch.

You might make sure he's got a couple of the my body book for boys. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/523171.The_What_s_Happening_to_My_Body_Book_for_Boys

Can't help you on the religion thing but you need to be careful about the sex topic with your kids. You don't want them to get any harmful or screwy ideas that might get in the way of being happily married at some point. Sex at its best is natural, loving and joyful and I share it with my hubby as much as I'm able. I want that for my grown kids, too.


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## bugmenot (May 29, 2005)

philomom said:


> Masturbation is completely normal and should never, ever be shamed. When he needs to do that, he needs to lock the door. It is like picking your nose. Everyone does it, no one wants to watch.
> 
> You might make sure he's got a couple of the my body book for boys. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/523171.The_What_s_Happening_to_My_Body_Book_for_Boys
> 
> Can't help you on the religion thing but you need to be careful about the sex topic with your kids. You don't want them to get any harmful or screwy ideas that might get in the way of being happily married at some point. Sex at its best is natural, loving and joyful and I share it with my hubby as much as I'm able. I want that for my grown kids, too.


Well said. Tell him it's perfectly normal and the door should be locked. With that said, you should also knock before entering...just a common courtesy.

I've noticed that, at least in some cases, the more tight/strict a family is with the religion, the greater tendency the child(ren) have to snap back. Let him know it's perfectly normal to do what he was doing... you can't really fight the hormones after all.


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## contactmaya (Feb 21, 2006)

Agree with the above posters.
Wow, i cant help but notice the slew of single moms and young teenage boys in the forum at the moment....

ps. why is marital status so relevant?


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## SchoolmarmDE (Apr 23, 2012)

contactmaya said:


> Agree with the above posters.
> Wow, i cant help but notice the slew of single moms and young teenage boys in the forum at the moment....
> 
> ps. why is marital status so relevant?


I think it's about concern that you don't have a partner to bounce things off, even if you intended to.

The transition from partnered to Un-partnered, with kids, is a very difficult one, however it occurs.


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## moominmamma (Jul 5, 2003)

contactmaya said:


> ]Wow, i cant help but notice the slew of single moms and young teenage boys in the forum at the moment....


Yup, and first-time posters who don't ever return to join community discussion. And always referring to sexual issues. sigh ... With MDC this slow, it's frustrating that such a high proportion of the content is suspicious.

Miranda


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