# Nanny 911 / Why Co-Sleep?



## moistangel (Apr 30, 2005)

So, I watch Nanny 911 every once in awhile if I have the tv on and come across it. I don't know WHY because mostly it ticks me off, but I do.

Maybe it's because I'm interested in parenting, good and bad, I don't really know.

Tonight, that Nanny Stella breaks up a family bed (three kids and a puppy as well as mama and daddy). She says:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Nanny Stella*
It's extremely unhealthy for a grown woman to sleep with her six year old son.

And that made me mad.

So I started thinking about it. Why DO we co-sleep? It wasn't anything I read. Before I had my son I had every intention of letting him sleep in his basinette and then crib.

It started because I was panicked that my preemie would stop breathing and I wouldn't realize it. Because I was trying to get my preemie to latch on and hoped it would work at night when he was (I hoped) sleepier, so I could nurse exclusively and stop freaking pumping.

And it just worked. Now I don't like sleeping without him. I don't like napping without him. IS it going to damage him? I've had every intention of letting him co-sleep as long as possible. It hasn't really affected my marriage, I don't think.

Why do you co-sleep? What started it? How do you wean from co-sleeping?

I'm embarassed to say this isn't something we researched a lot, it just worked for us. I'd love to hear your stories!


----------



## 425lisamarie (Mar 4, 2005)

Because it is the absolute most natural thing to do. I didn't ever really think about it, nor did I really know anyone who did it Why do some people buy stuffed purring lions or CDs of the washing machine noise/heartbeating for the crib?? Obviously to be in the comfort of their mother is what they need, too bad people don't go with what they know is the best for their babies and not what the mainstream market has to sell them to *simulate* their mother in order to sleep alone







:


----------



## Kathryn (Oct 19, 2004)

It's not going to damage him.








People all over the world sleep in the family bed as long as they live together, not just in childhood. It's natural and very healthy. Forget Nanny 911 and Supernanny. They are little brittish ladies trying to creep into your head and take over the world child by child. :LOL
Do what feels natural to you.

You said you can't sleep without him. Can he sleep without you? Does _he_ want to sleep without you? If so, then it's time he slept by himself. But if you are both happy where you're at, why change it? Don't fix what isn't broken.

ETA:







: I just noticed how old your baby is. I was thinking he was like 5 or 6. Hon, he's not even a year old yet! Of course you don't want to not sleep with him. It goes against every primal instinct humans have. Why would you put your baby in a wooden cage not protected by you?


----------



## darsmama (Jul 23, 2004)

We co sleep about 50% of the time, and I started co sleeping b/c I was terrified of SIDS..Now, I get her from the crib and put her in our bed half way through the night. I don't think that its damaging either way - crib or bed. Whatever is best for the family is what should be done and a lot of the time, co sleeping is what is best for mom, dad and baby!


----------



## lula (Feb 26, 2003)

We co-sleep 100% of the time...well at here is the usual nightly routine. DD and I do her bedtime routine, I hang out in bed with her (reading or on the laptop) until she falls asleep. Then I take-off to work in other areas of the house, hang out with dh etc etc. I go to bed about 4-5 hours after I put her to bed. She will sometimes wake up around 1:30 if I am not in bed yet.

She is 4 and I don't see her leaving the bed for another few years. One huge advantage of co-sleeping this long is that traveling is a complete breeze, she doesn't care as long as I (and her stuffed dog) are with her, she can sleep on planes, floors, cold florescent light terminals, etc.

She does have sleepp-overs at my parents or sisters and sleeps fine with my mother or sister. She also sleeps fine when I am out of town. I don't think having my 4 year old dd sleeping with dh harms her at all. I don't see the problem, it is her dad. (ok, he is also definately NOT abusive!)

My marriage has not suffered at all, we were married for 4 years before dd and have been married 4 years after so I have a decent time spread to examine. On a related note I think our sex life is better with co-sleeping than not. (speaking purely from an interuption and time standpoint







) dd sleeps so well and feels no need to get out of bed if she wakes up (even alone) that we don't have to worry about the sound of little feet coming to interupt us. I think more people are interupted by their children trying to get into their parents bed. As long as we are not in the bedroom we are fine. She also goes to sleep fairly fast, so we have more uninterrupted time. (though going to sleep fast was/is hard for her at times) This may be TMI, sorry I tend to ramble without thinking...this is an area that I have had major criticism on as dd has grown older.

As far as weaning co-sleeping we haven't even attempted. I have added a space at night for her to look at her own books. I am hoping that having her own individual time will help her transistion to her own bed when she is ready.


----------



## larson (Apr 4, 2004)

We started co-sleeping because ds outgrew the bassinett and the crib hadn't arrived yet. He used to sleep in his crib until 3 AM, then I would get him and he'd nurse to sleep and stay with us until morning. Then he slept through the night 2 nights in a row, but after that, his sleeping patterns went downhill.....so basically he's been in our bed ever since. Mostly so I could get enough sleep to function, and now I agree, it feels like the 'natural' thing to do.

We do get some criticism from dh's mom but he has basically told her that this is what we're doing and she hasn't said boo since. The last time it came up in general conversation, I shared something from a book I had read: No on really likes to sleep alone, do they? Of course she had no comment for that because she is now 2x divorced and can't stand the thought of being alone for the rest of her life and her dog is more spoiled than her kids EVER were!

I totally agree that traveling is SO much easier for us (as was moving) because there was no 'transition' as far as sleep goes w/ ds.


----------



## Itlbokay (Dec 28, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *moistangel*
So I started thinking about it. Why DO we co-sleep? It wasn't anything I read. Before I had my son I had every intention of letting him sleep in his basinette and then crib.


Same here. Then my DS was born and all my instincts told me that in our bed was where he should be.


----------



## gardenpoetry (Aug 20, 2003)

We cosleep 100% of the time. From the time he was born, he was in our bed. (Had a fabulous homebirth!) I tried the cosleeper, but he'd wake up instantly. I liked that he was nearby, but not near me where I might roll over on him. But, he hated the cosleeper. So, I pulled him next to me. I was worried a bit about rolling over, etc. But I quickly learned that my instincts are on high alert even when I'm sleeping!!

It is so natural and comfortable. It does not cause many problems - except when he thinks it's playtime in the middle of the night.









I started putting him in my bed because it was the only thing that kept him asleep and happy. And I LOVE IT!! It is so sweet waking up in the middle of the night being able to smell that sweet baby smell and look at those cute lips and nose and sleepy eyes. SO SWEET!!!


----------



## Schrody (Mar 11, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *moistangel*
Why do you co-sleep? What started it? How do you wean from co-sleeping?

I started co-sleeping because my first baby wouldn't sleep alone, but slept pretty well with me. It made nighttime nursing much less disruptive to my own sleep, so I kept going. When my second baby was born, I didn't even consider using a crib (we've never owned one).

We didn't wean from co-sleeping, we just waited until dd was ready to have her own room. First we got her her own mattress and put it next to ours. When she was around four, she pushed her mattress as far across the room from ours as she could. Eventually she started expressing interest in her own bedroom, but she had to wait a few months until we were in a big enough apartment. By age five, she had her own room and she happily sleeps alone in it every night. Unless it's storming, in which case she comes in with us. It was a remarkably easy transition since she was the one requesting the change.


----------



## chicagomom (Dec 24, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *moistangel*
IS it going to damage him? I've had every intention of letting him co-sleep as long as possible. It hasn't really affected my marriage, I don't think.

















[warning, rant ahead]

Ack. I love these 'experts'; heaven forbid we should need one another!

It just makes me sad that anyone would even think this, let alone say it on national tv. What an idiotic program. Of course it's not going to 'damage' him; humans have thrived for MILLIONS of years co-sleeping. Nanny-boo-hoo wouldn't even BE HERE if it weren't for her ancestors co-sleeping. Why is it ok for a kid to want to hold a teddy at night but not ok for him to want to hold his mommy?

I'd really like to hear the fears behind this; does nanny-boo-hoo think he will turn into a homosexual or something? Or maybe mom will be tempted to molest her child? Or is it the 'you're creating an unhealthy dependency' thing? What a load of garbage.

Does it damage my husband to sleep with him? Will it damage me to sleep with my husband? I wouldn't want him to depend on me or anything!









I have researched it a lot, and children sleeping in isolated little containers down the hall is a new thing; we've only been doing it since the Victorian era, and then only in a few countries. Who, historically, had enough money to afford a big house with separate rooms for the children? Were American pioneers unnecessarily dependent on one another? I'm certain those little log cabins on the prairie didn't include extra rooms for each of the kids.

Most of the world still co-sleeps. And they (as well as our ancestors) maintain their marriages (and their independence) just fine. We are the weird ones for insisting on our little hermetically-sealed boxes where no one is allowed to touch or talk after lights-out except for the purposes of procreation.









[/rant]

As for my family, we did it by choice (baby's, then ours), and by choice (ours and baby's). Our babies have taught us a lot about love and giving. Babies are funny that way, aren't they?


----------



## Sharlla (Jul 14, 2005)

Some morning my 6 year old crawls in bed with me and sleeps. I don't see anything wrong with it. But thats more like co napping :LOL


----------



## aisraeltax (Jul 2, 2005)

my 7 year old still falls asleep with me. i put him in his bed afterward b/c we only have a queen size bed and im getting much much bigger faster.
i think hes fine. my older one did the same thing and he is perfectly detached as a 14 year old! lol!


----------



## nannymom (Jan 23, 2004)

We co-sleep 100% of the time b/c my baby can not physically sleep with out me for more than an hour. We made an active choice to do it b/c I beleive that it is what nature intended and I cou;dn't stand the thought of her in another room. I do one day hope to sleep alone again but I have no set time frame in mind and i do not think it is wrong for a child of any age to share a bed with their parents. It's sexualizing sleep.


----------



## Zaxmama (Mar 2, 2004)

I couldn't imagine not co-sleeping.. I tried letting him in his crib







: even let him cio a couple times.







:







:







: but I realized it hurt me/him so bad and neither of us were happy..so that only lasted about a week..that was because I foolishly listened to other people and what they said works for them..now DS is 2 1/2 and we will cosleep until he wants to stop..he has his own bed in my room where he may go if he chooses..and sometimes he does. but about 80% of the time he is snuggling with mama..


----------



## Hoopin' Mama (Sep 9, 2004)

We started co-sleeping when ds was 4 days old, after having three sleepless nights. I guess it took that long to follow my intuition, blank out that garbage about co-sleeping causing SIDS, and asked for support on this board from some great Mamas.
I would suggest to anyone who has doubts about how healthy it is to co-sleep to read Our Babies, Ourselves. I am loving that book and I will gift it to any new Mama in my life. It is so backwards that our culture thinks sleeping with our baby is unhealthy. Why are we in such a hurry to make them independent?
Enjoy your nights of snuggles with your sweet baby. Ds is only 8 months now, but seems to sleep better in his own space. I miss him even though he is only a few feet away.


----------



## bleurae (Feb 25, 2005)

I never bought a crib, never would. I co-slept because the idea of taking a tiny helpless brand new infant, who has been living inside me for 9+ months and suddenly sticking him or her in another room or another place other than next to me, feeling me, hearing my heartbeat, was too horrendos to even consider. He needed and still needs touch thrughout the night. If he is tossing and turning all I have to do if press up to him a bit and he smiles in his sleep and calms. We are one of the only species not to sleep with our young here in the "industrialized west" and it saddens me so.
Co-sleeping is as natural as breathing to me, even before I knew a name for it.


----------



## Parthenia (Dec 12, 2001)

I grew up in a family bed. I had planned to co-sleep before I even knew what it was officially called. When our first was born we bought a cosleeper that eventally became a diaper shelf and snack table. Before we bought a house, dd's bedroom was attached to ours, and while we often moved her to her bed when she was about 3, she was always welcome back, and made her way back when she needed to.
When we moved, her room was/is 10 ft away from our room. She mostly stayed in her bed until her baby sister was born. She's been visiting more and more, because the baby's in there, and she likes to be near her baby sister at all times.








I'm sure eventually they'll both move out, but they're always welcome. Okay, I draw the line when they reach puberty.
I come from a family bed family. At family gatherings people often hang out in groups on beds. It's just how we are. Many of my cousins have family beds. At my parents' house, their room and their big bed is where everyone frequently hangs out. DH and I don't co-sleep w/my parents when we visit. :LOL


----------



## alliwenk (Nov 6, 2003)

I hate these shows and it dismays me that parents listen to these people; and Stella is dead wrong on co-sleeping. I especially enjoyed her telling the mom that she was being selfish by wanting to sleep with her children or evne hold her infant daughter...mothers don't get enough balme already right? A nanny's job is not to parent children it is to manage them for the parents.

Here is great Alfie Kohn article about these shows.


----------



## flyingspaghettimama (Dec 18, 2001)

[snark on] Not only that, but what a miserable person nanny stella IS. I mean, look at her. Not only is she hideous on the outside, but also on the inside. I remember watching that show and thinking, she must be jealous of that poor baby, as I'll bet 10-to-1 she's not getting a lot of cosleeping herself in any form. Would _you_ really want to take advice from such a bitter, dour-looking woman who looks so unhappy with her own adult life? Is this who I'd like my child to turn into if I follow her advice?
[\snark off]

Sorry. I couldn't help it. I absolutely don't understand America or the UK taking advice from people who are not great role models themselves. Give me a peaceful, calm person who looks full of joy and life, and I'll give them a listen. All of these nanny women just look so hard and grouchy, even the ones who are supposed to be "pleasant."


----------



## RedPony (May 24, 2005)

As kids we were kept out of our parents beds.







: I can clearly remember having nightmares and asking to sleep with them and being refused. Sigh! Instead, I would lay on the floor next to their bed and hold my mother's hand. The times I actually got into their bed (that I remember) while they were both in it were probably two.

OTOH, I did sleep with my sister until I was 12 and she was 15.







That was after I had spent a certain amount of time on my own in the crib. My oldest two brothers also shared a bed well into their teens. The middle two did not, but their room was the smallest and they had to have bunk beds. :LOL My mom was from a family of eleven children, and every one in her family had a sleeping partner, too.

ETA- DH and I frequently catch this show together. It makes me sad that DH sees these negative attitudes as he is on the fence about a lot natural family living practices. I can hardly turn the tv off on a grown man, tho!


----------



## *Lisa* (Dec 19, 2002)

We started co-sleeping because, for the first 4+ months of her life, DD literally wouldn't sleep without being held or cuddled by somebody. Now, at almost 3, she has no desire to sleep in her own bed at night (although she'll nap there once in a while). She also gets very upset when she sees pictures of kids sleeping by themselves. She wants to know where the mommy and daddy are







We figure that she'll sleep alone when she's ready to do that.


----------



## flyingspaghettimama (Dec 18, 2001)

And if you want to see something even more hideous, I looked at the message boards on the Nanny website when trying to find a real bio of the nannies...

I need to go clean my mind out now with a steel brush...


----------



## hockeymama (Jun 25, 2004)

a few months ago I was talking to a friend about cosleeping and something his daughter (now 21) said to him at age four was "grownups get to sleep together, why do I have to sleep alone?" and she turned out to be a very well adjusted, independent woman. Why is it ok for us to sleep in the same bed, sharing closeness but insist that our children sleep in a room on their own?

Our first daughter was born with pneumonia and as a result suffered many respitory (I know that's not the right spelling) illnesses through the first year and a half of her life. At first I was reluctant to let her sleep with us worried that I'd be creating problems later on, but when she was sick the only way she would sleep was inbetween my husband and I, she needed our closeness to relax and honestly it helped us sleep because if something happened we were right there with her. Now at age three she comes and goes between her own room and ours, usually joining us midway through the night. And really it gets down to letting her sleep with us and us all getting a good nights sleep or putting her back in bed every 15 minutes and NONE of us sleeping. Me, I'd rather sleep. With DD2 she has been with us from the day we got home which has made nursing much easier this time around and much more pleasant and she also loves to be held almost all the time so she gets the closeness and we all sleep.

While I never slept with my parents as a child, I often climbed into bed with them in the early hours of the morning, even as I was getting ready to leave for college. It was one of the only times during the day where we could just be together without distraction, and I cherish the memories and jokes we shared to this day. I hope my girls do too.


----------



## ladybugchild77 (Jun 18, 2004)

I never intended on co-sleeping 100% of the time but as soon as I helped my midwife pull my dd out I was hooked!







She and I sleep so much better when we sleep together! I only put her in her crib to play or use the attached changing table! My family thinks we're nuts but that's OK - at least we're happy!


----------



## darsmama (Jul 23, 2004)

:LOL Loraeileen

Another thing I thought the Op would find interesting was I had a friend up from Rota, which is in the Mairanna islands (I doubt anyone could find it on a map) near Japan/Phillipines area. Anyways, their culture is so much like ours. Speaks english, (or chemoru *SP*) wears Old Navy, eats pizza and they are mostly a co-sleeping, GD, raised group of people.
She came to my house and when I invited her in my room she about fell over from shock. She hadn't seen a 'western' family with a crib in their room ever! She then admitted she thought it was crazy that in western movies they always show the baby being in another room and that her and her friends always laugh at that or shudder thinking how the poor baby must feel.
Shes 18, and a party girl, so its not like shes done a whole lot of reading up on parenting! Just good old common sense.
It totally reinforced the idea that typical America IS the screwed up one with the "Co-sleeping is ODD (perverted, wrong, bad for the baby, fill in the blank).

Again, not dogging people who DON'T cosleep, because you got to do what is best for everyone in the family.
Sidecarring our crib and co-sleeping just happened to be what is best for us, and I hope that someday that is considered 'normal'.


----------



## heket (Nov 18, 2003)

I wasn't raised in a family bed, but my brother was. My mother did it out of necessity, essentially. She bf him too and needed the sleep since she was now raising an infant, a pre-teen, and going to college herself.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kathryn*
You said you can't sleep without him. Can he sleep without you? Does _he_ want to sleep without you? If so, then it's time he slept by himself. But if you are both happy where you're at, why change it? Don't fix what isn't broken.

This was my mom's motto. She fought my dad tooth and nail to keep my brother in bed. It was a no-brainer for dh and I -- in fact, I didn't think he'd take to it as well as he has. Now we take turns sleeping in the main bed and giving one another a night off to sleep on the spare twin (our queen just isn't that accomodating for us since we all like to spread out while sleeping... :LOL )

On a side note, I was







to hear that Nanny Stella was the one to raise this. I'll admit, I watch the show when it's on and I don't think dd is trying to imitate what's on the screen.







: She was one of my favorite nannies, but now I don't think so anymore... I really would've expected this from that







Supernanny. I can't stand her.


----------



## wende (Oct 4, 2003)

I think that the fact that you did it w/o researching it is admirable, actually, not a reason to be embarrassed. You went with your mommy instincts, something that our society likes to fight against.

I co-sleep because it's what I enjoy. I do it because my babies don't like sleeping alone any more than I do. I co-sleep because my last two were also preemies and I had spent enough time away from them at night while they were in the NICU, sad that they weren't in bed with me. I co-slept my older ones because they liked it that way. I co-sleep up until one of us says it's time to move on, which could be any age after 2 or 3, I guess. I wean by getting them their own bed but reminding them that coming into mommy's room at night is still ok and eventually they all (the older 3) just quit coming on their own...of course, now they snuggle each other at night.


----------



## white_feather (Sep 17, 2004)

Ok, well, in Stella's defense, it was the parents who brought it up as an issue in the original video, saying that sleeping with their 6 y/o, 3 y/o, and 8 month old as well as the dog, wasn't allowing any sleep at nights. It was clear from the programming that the two older boys were more than ready to move to their own beds, and that the mother was the one having separation anxiety.

I didn't agree with Stella that co-sleeping is unhealthy, and it sure DID sound like she was making sweeping generalizations there, and I was disconcerted by that. However, in this family's circumstance, it DID seem unhealthy and that the mother was really trying to meet her own needs, not the children's. In fact, she kept trying to get back into the boy's beds with them, even though the boys were happily going to bed on their own.

I was also really bothered by the previous post attacking Stella personally. Can't we just be glad that there's someone to look at on TV who looks like a real person and not a plastic Barbie doll? Nanny Stella helped this family tremendously, and they were grateful. She helped the father begin to take a more active roll in family life, set up a schedule for all of them to follow, helped the boys stop fighting, helped the 3 y/o pee in the toilet instead of the garden. Nanny Stella helped bring cohesiveness to this family that was on the verge. I would argue that love her or hate her, the fruits of her efforts speak volumes.


----------



## HelloKitty (Apr 1, 2004)

We co-sleep because it makes us happy - the kids and the parents. If the family is unhappy then maybe it isn't right for them. I personally can't imagine not cuddling with my little ones at night though or waking up to their sweet little faces in the morning.









Dr. Jay Gordon has a great book called Good Nights which really looks at co-sleeping from many angles and offers advice for people that are concerned about different aspects. I highly recommend it!


----------



## hotmamacita (Sep 25, 2002)

Our chidren co-slept with us while they were nursing with the exception of our second. I weaned him at 9 mos when I was pregnant with the twins and we moved during that time so we co-slept with him until he was 16 months old and I was 7 mo pregnant and really uncomfortable.

We transitioned our eldest who was weaned from BF when she was 2 1/2 to a futon on the floor and then into her room. It took some time but we did it without tears.


----------



## mrs rockstar (Apr 20, 2005)

My dd started out in one of those cosleeper on the side of the bed deals...but I would sleep with one arm hanging into it so I could touch her and make sure she was breathing all night long (paranoid first time mom :LOL ). After about a week or two of numb arm, I just brought her into bed with me. She slept better snuggled up to me, I slept better knowing she was right next to me and for a new mom anything that enabled more sleep worked. Now dd is 8 months old and I can't imagine her not in my bed. I know the time will come, but I figure it won't be for several years (much to dp's upset). It hasn't affected my relationship with dp, if anything it forces us to be more creative in finding places to have, ahem, adult time away from dd.


----------



## jaam (Sep 29, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RedPony*
It makes me sad that DH sees these negative attitudes as he is on the fence about a lot natural family living practices. I can hardly turn the tv off on a grown man, tho!

I'm in that same boat. Dh only sees it though when I'm also watching tv, it's not his program of choice.







But we did once see an episode that was HELPFUL! Dh believes that a child will eventually need smacked a time or two.







: And there was a show once that had a good gentler discipline idea and he was like "huh! well, wouldya look at that, there are other ways to discipline beyond violence!" I was going "yes! yes! yes!" inside because my dh needs to hear parenting advice from mainstream media in order for him to take it seriously.







:

Anyway, back on track.... cosleeping..... I had totally intended to put dd in a basinet then crib. And did. Dh was pretty adament about me not letting her in bed with us, so I'd sneak in some cosleeping time during the day while I napped or something. And she was in a bassinet right next to me at night. Then we moved to a bigger house where she'd have her own room. I put the bassinet in the next room with a monitor on one night just to see. I felt sick to my stomach the entire time. I couldnt' sleep, I had the monitor ON my head the whole time, it was miserable. That only lasted half the night, and she's been cosleeping ever since. (She was about 5 weeks then.) We have a twin mattress on the floor next to our bed that she sleeps in most of the time.... but I end up on the floor with her usually. (Which gives dh the entire bed to himself so he doesn't really complain. :LOL ) The sex life happens elsewhere.








Enough already, I'm done. In short, mainstream media that warps society's views on what should be totally natural and NORMAL really really irks me. Cosleeping is totataly natural, and should be considered normal.


----------



## phoenixoxo (Nov 10, 2004)

I haven't read all the replies yet, but I agreed with all the ones I read and wanted to chime in.

We never used the crib, we moved it into the liviing room as a playpen when I need to use the restroom.

We co-sleep because it felt right. I want my DD to become attatched to people not things. I agree, what ever works for a family is what they should do, but you are asking why I do it. I avoided a pacifier and a stuffed animal, we BF so we've used no bottles. This makes it hard because only people (me my DP, her uncle, grandma) can comfort her. She doesn't know how to self soothe yet (my dd is 16 months). But, I think attachment is important. I don't want my dd to use a stuffed animal to cuddle when she needs love, I want her to seek me out. Too often independence ends up being lonely-ness.

Why I think co-sleeping is important. One night my dp and I drove up to a cabin with a bunch of friends. There were alot of us and my dp and I slept on the floor. There weren't enough pillows so I layed my head on his sholder and to my surprize I was asleep in minutes. I woke up thinking that it didn't matter where we were, as long as I slept with him I was home. I want my dd to feel like that until our snoring and coughing and tossing and turning drive her out of our bed.


----------



## Linda on the move (Jun 15, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alliwenk*
Here is great Alfie Kohn article about these shows.

Great link!!!!

We saw the same Nanny 911 episode as the OP. Afterward, my DH and I reflected on what a British nanny would say about our home and the way we raise our kids. We had a good laugh.

The difference between our family on and the one of the TV, my DH pointed out, is that our family is loving and warm and that family was totally disfunctional. The 6 year old was allowed to spank his 3 year brother, the 3 year old was allowed to pee where ever he wanted, dad had NOTHING to do with the kids, and mommy had her own issues (she seemed to like be to need to live from crises to crises).

It was sad, really, to see a family is such a mess and the advice they were given.


----------



## FitMama (Jul 20, 2003)

I saw that episode. I have never seen that show before, but checked it out this one time.

It kind of made me feel guilty for ENJOYING cosleeping so much. We have co-slept with DS since day one. I couldn't even put him in that little plastic box in the hospital, so he slept in my arms or in DH's. Once we got home, we continued in the same way. It's just what we all liked best.

I'll admit to TRYING to get DS to sleep independently right now. I'm almost 7 mos pregnant and there is not a whole lot of room in our queen size bed. I'm not sleeping comfortably at all.

But, DS's preferred way of sleeping is totally cuddled up to DH or me. DH usually sleeps on a futon in the living room since DS sleeps perpendicular to us. DH has even said that I ought to just co-sleep with the toddler and baby this fall, while he stays on the futon. I don't know whether to be grateful or ticked about that! LOL


----------



## mackenziesmama (May 24, 2005)

We cosleep just because it feels right! I never did any research on it and never thought about it. When I brought my first baby home from hospital 3 1/2 years ago, I put him in the bassinet beside the bed. I hadn't even turned the light off and I had him in bed next to me! I couldn't bear to leave this tiny human being in a bed by himself. He moved to a crib when he was about 6 months old because he was having a hard time sleeping. He adjusted just fine, slept through the first night no tears.

I think cosleeping teaches children sleep is a natural, peaceful time. People still comment on how well our son goes to sleep. No tatrums, no fussing. We just say, "It's time for bed now" and he's asleep within a few minutes.

We're sleeping with our 6 month old baby girl now, she shows no signs of wanting to leave our warm bed yet. We love cosleeping!

Cosleeping mamas, rock on!!

Brittish nannies---get a grip!


----------



## SMH (Dec 17, 2003)

We almost never watch TV but I did happen to catch this one. I think I've seen the show twice and both times it really bothered me!! It didn't make as mad as it did sad. Sad that it's giving out such a negative message with something that can be so wonderful! I just wish there were shows and more media about the beauty of AP/Natural parenting.......we can hope.

As for us it just felt right. It broke my heart to seperate from our dd right from the get go. We loved co-sleeping with each of our children and it's been great for all of us. I must say though our older dd (3), wanted her own space very early







so we didn't co-sleep with her for very long. However our bed was and is always open so the nights she wanted to be with us she does. It works out well.


----------



## dvnmama (May 16, 2004)

Haven't seen the show... heard alot about it though, yikes.

We co sleep because it feels right. Ds doesn't have his own bed in his own room at this point since we just moved. We'll get him one soon, just in case he's interested. He's 6, 7 in December. I can't imagine how I'll feel when he chooses to leave. We talk about it from time to time because he knows he's different from his school friends, and he tells me he never wants to sleep apart from us. He's so sweet. I just tell him that someday he may want his own space, and that's ok, but the family bed will always be just that...a family bed.

Sue


----------



## Khadijah (Jul 19, 2005)

I dont see anything wrong with co-sleeping. I did it with my oldest and now my youngest.


----------



## Missy Princess Eha (Jan 28, 2003)

I just posted this response on another thread...we co-sleep with a 6 year old...and I would be one MAD mama if someone suggested we stop!

Quote:

I just had to say that cosleeping with my 6 year old type 1 diabetic has been such a blessing. I swear there are nights I wake up with this vibe that his sugar is low. And sure enough when tested he is low. He has only had one severe low reaction in his whole year and a half since diagnosis. I credit this to being in tune to him in such a way most parents are not. He and I are so close that I don't even have to look at him or even be awake to know what he needs now! That is what attachment parenting does for us. I never saw the FULL benefits until Eli was sick. I have co-slept with him since day one when he was born and we were in the hospital. It just felt right. I just wanted to say that there is one mama here that believes in older children co-sleeping. And that it will be HIS decision to move out of our bed. He is a very tender child and has always needed extra hugs and kisses and attention. And this last year he has been so raw and vulnerable with all that has happened in his young life. It feels good to give him a safe place to fall every night. Because one day not to far away he won't need that safe place...but I will be left with a warmth in my heart...that I provided that safe haven! Just some thoughts! Sorry if it offends anyone here.


----------

