# Reborn Dolls?



## CawMama (Nov 4, 2005)

I watched 20/20 last night and saw these dolls: http://www.reborn-baby.com/

I was thinking of mamas who have had stillbirths, and wondered if anyone had ever though of having one of these made in rememberence?


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## SMR (Dec 21, 2004)

those things are very realistic.. wow.. a little too real looking for me though.


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## JayJay (Aug 1, 2008)

The thought had crossed me mind actually - to me, they are beautiful sculptures. But, they are SO expensive. I expect some might find the idea creepy bu I don't







I would just kind of probably keep the doll in a glass case or something, I expect - in a setting. But whatever - they are too expensive and I'm not SO dying to have one that I'm going to go for the extra expense. They are pretty little things, but not a replacement obviously!

*hugs*







XX


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## namaste_mom (Oct 21, 2005)

I haven't ever thought of it. I watched that 20/20 special and thought it was kind of creepy the way that they treated the dolls like live people for attention. Maybe someday when I am older but I'm not really a doll person.


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## Authentic_Mother (Feb 25, 2007)

If I had a stillbirth - I would maybe consider one that looks just like the baby and then it would be on display in the home. But the carrying it around and having a nursery for it, and strollers and talking to people about it like its real (like that one woman on the show) - that freaks me out. If an adult was carrying around a baby and talking to me like ti was real - I would pull my kids close and RUN.


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## JayJay (Aug 1, 2008)

Yes...that is creepy, the way they treat the dollies like live people! That's almost..umm...kinda slightly...umm "off"? Having a nursery for a doll....hmmmm.

They are so expensive though. But hey, I have photographs of Josie and they're not creepy. Having her likeness in a doll therefore couldn't really be either, could it? Mind you it would always be a doll. I don't know if I would have her eyes open or closed...maybe open, because I never did get to see them that way. Roman emperors got to have their busts made - Madame Tussauds is full of wax replicas of real people... It would almost be kinda cute to someday get reborn dolls of ALL my babies, you know, and have them all displayed together - that would be cool. Then it woulnd't just be Josie. But hey, that day is a long way off...lol.


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## Vespertina (Sep 30, 2006)

I think they're interesting. So very realistic. I think DH might have a harder time adjusting to one. They are definitely expensive.

Treating them as if they're real is darn creepy. Very odd.

I would be nice to see what he would have looked like alive and without all the vernix. Folks would think I was nuts.


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## sunflowers (Sep 24, 2006)

I sold something to a person on ebay who was a therapist that used the Reborn dolls as therapy. It was the first time I'd heard of them (this was 3yrs ago). It freaks me out a bit but I can't judge how helpful or not they could be.

I do know that after having a living preemie, I had considered getting a doll made to her height and weight as a reminder of her birth size... sort of the same idea, I guess. The preemie dolls do earlier gestations as well and I've seen sites that do porcelin replicas of every week of gestation.

I might be more willing to consider a porcelin doll vs a reborn doll if it was an earlier loss vs a late term.


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## mommato5 (Feb 19, 2007)

I want one! It's a chase by cheryl webber kit but so far, the quotes are crazy!


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## Stevi (Jul 7, 2007)

I saw the show as well and never even considered getting one of the dolls. I do think they would make wonderful dolls for a little girl, like, when I win the lottery and have a little girl to give one to!









If the dolls help some women cope with not having children, I am happy that they have them.


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## MI_Dawn (Jun 30, 2005)

I'm actually considering doing this.










What's your take on it?

When I imagine having it, it's not about pretending it's real, actually... It's more like...

When William first died, it was hard to look at his photos the first day or so. (those were the days I was crying all day long - by night, I had to ice down my face because my eyes were practically swollen shut...) But when I was back to doing things again, like checking email, I had this impulse to put his picture on my computer background as wallpaper. I kept telling myself, rationally, logically, it was morbid, crazy, it would make things worse, I would cry all the time again...

I did it anyway. And the instant his picture was up there, I could relax and take a full breath. I don't sit and stare at it all day and it doesn't make me cry (well, once in a while, but not to the point of being incapacitating. ..) What it does do, I think, is open up some sort of normalized space for me to be his mother. I know it sounds strange, but this whole process of birthing a dead child, the way the world seems to view it, makes you feel as if he never existed.

They don't even give you a birth certificate. You give birth, but all you get is a death certificate.

Anyway... this impulse feels, to me, quite like that.

But I'm not sure if it would be avoidant or healing. I can see it that it could go either way...


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## Vespertina (Sep 30, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MI_Dawn* 
I'm actually considering doing this.










What's your take on it?

When I imagine having it, it's not about pretending it's real, actually... It's more like...

When William first died, it was hard to look at his photos the first day or so. (those were the days I was crying all day long - by night, I had to ice down my face because my eyes were practically swollen shut...) But when I was back to doing things again, like checking email, I had this impulse to put his picture on my computer background as wallpaper. I kept telling myself, rationally, logically, it was morbid, crazy, it would make things worse, I would cry all the time again...

I did it anyway. And the instant his picture was up there, I could relax and take a full breath. I don't sit and stare at it all day and it doesn't make me cry (well, once in a while, but not to the point of being incapacitating. ..) What it does do, I think, is open up some sort of normalized space for me to be his mother. I know it sounds strange, but this whole process of birthing a dead child, the way the world seems to view it, makes you feel as if he never existed.

They don't even give you a birth certificate. You give birth, but all you get is a death certificate.

Anyway... this impulse feels, to me, quite like that.

But I'm not sure if it would be avoidant or healing. I can see it that it could go either way...

I share these feelings. I'd want to avoid having to justify it to others because they don't "get it." I didn't get to see him alive. He wasn't pink. He was blue/grey and had been in the decomposing process already. It wasn't pretty and I didn't like seeing him that way. I made virtually all of the photos B&W because I don't like them in color. I think having a doll made in his likeness will be able to give me an idea what he would have looked like before the decomposing/maceration process. The money isn't a factor for me. I think DH would understand, though. I want to see Duncan, not dead, pale/grey deteriorated Duncan.

I thought I'd have a rough time processing the pictures. My husband thought so. But the day I came home from the hospital I began working on his pictures. Many times I'd stop to cry and couldn't finish without taking a break, but I managed to get them done. I needed to have the pictures completed because I didn't like seeing them the way they were. There were a couple that made me pretty emotional. The ones of him being held by me and DH were comforting, though sad. But the ones of him lying lifeless on the scale and the nurse giving him to me, =(. Those were tough to work on at first.

On a side note, I still have to get his death certificate. :sigh:


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## AbbeyWH (Feb 3, 2009)

i didn't get to hold Milos enough or really at all (long story)








so i had thought of this as a way be able to do that a little
but i also can't be sure if that is just too morbid or extending some detrimental denial

i remember seeing a BBC program on these dolls while i was pregnant and at the time i thought it was sad (there were no women profiled who had experienced loss, mostly grandma types) and it makes me really sad that now i would consider owning one if the cost wasn't so prohibitive! but i definitely feel differently about them now...
or maybe i feel the same... they still make me sad (yes, they are amazing artistry)
but now even though they make me sad i understand them more.


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## MI_Dawn (Jun 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AbbeyWH* 
i didn't get to hold Milos enough or really at all (long story)








so i had thought of this as a way be able to do that a little
but i also can't be sure if that is just too morbid or extending some detrimental denial

I feel like I didn't get enough time with William, too. We had about an hour at the hospital, after he was born, but my two living children were exhausted and everyone else (the midwife and my niece-in-law) had gone home, it was midnight, and it just felt like we had to go home and put the littles to bed. I wanted to take William with me (and have since discovered that some hospitals let you take a stillborn baby home for 24 hours! I wish I'd asked...) but couldn't. A few days later, I saw and held him for about five minutes at the funeral home, and that was nowhere near enough.

It's funny how we all tell each other to "be gentle" with ourselves... but we still have this self-judgment (and fear of judgment from the outside) about our losses and how we're handling our grief and mourning process.

I do it, too... before William was born, I'd never heard of reborn dolls, but if I had, I'm sure I would have thought the idea of a mother of a stillborn baby having one created in her baby's likeness was sad and perhaps even a little unhealthy and morbid.

Now I am the mother of a stillborn baby and I'm still having those judgments and struggle internally with the idea...!

But I'm taking my own advice and being gentle with myself. Throwing my own self-doubt and judgments out the window. Having one of these babies is part of my process, I just know it is, and that's what I'm going to do. To heck with what others are going to think. They're not here, living my life, feeling this pain, and couldn't possibly begin to understand.

Maybe I'm crazy. Or tempting my sanity.







But I put a deposit down on one and I'm going to be holding a "reborn" of my son in a few weeks...

Of course, there probably aren't many people I'll share it with. I'm not glutton for THAT much punishment.


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