# Ds needs CONSTANT stimulation- Anyone relate?



## teachma (Dec 20, 2002)

My son is 5. He has always been a high-energy, high needs, intense, curious, and intelligent child. He has always required tons of activity, and he has never been capable of creating it for himself! A perfect Saturday or Sunday for him would be:

8:30-9:45 Soccer game
10:30-12:00 Birthday party
1:00-2:00 Yardwork or house project with dad
2:00-5:00 Trip to the city for a show or museum visit
6:00-7:00 Bike ride after dinner
7:30 Bath, book, bed

Anyone else have a kid who functions MUUUUUCH better with a jam-packed day? The flip side is, when we are at home trying to have a relaxing day, it just can't happen for him. He gets whiny, causes trouble by doing things he is not supposed to do, winds up spending a large part of the day crying...but if we keep him going outside of the house, with specific, planned activities that give lots of stimulation, he is fine. It's absolutely exhausting! What to do? (Advice and empathy welcome...)


----------



## The Lucky One (Oct 31, 2002)

OMG!!!YES!!!!

And he has been like this FROM.THE.VERY.MINUTE.OF.HIS.BIRTH.

It can be very very frustrating. Maddening, actually. It is very hard to feel relaxed around him. The minute I sit down, the constant pestering begins. And I hate to complain about my sweet boy, I really do, but he is just SO needy, so unlike my other ds and other children I know.

When I've heard other people talk about their high-needs or spirited children, I've never really heard one describe exactly what my ds is. He is such a sweet gentle boy, has NEVER been rough with anyone a day in his life, doesn't initiate trouble (unless he is bored, as you understand), is calm, kind, etc. BUT. HE. WANTS. CONSTANT. ATTENTION.

Constant!!! As in I can only recall ONE time before the age of about 15 months that he EVER crawled or walked away from me in a room to entertain himself.

Of course, he's as smart as a whip, gifted probably, but good gosh, he's taken part of my sanity...lol.

Yes, to answer your question, he does best on very very busy days, so long as he has a break or two to regroup and eat. In fact, for the longest time I had a secret joke with myself that if I wanted to make myself feel better I'd just take my ds out in public. I'd sit back and watch all the other mothers of young toddlers pulling their hair out chasing after their kids, while my ds was so well behaved, so content to study and absorb everything going on. He will be 4 in January and he has never ever once, ever, tried to run from me while out and about. He's having too much fun!

What do you think this means for our kids, teachma?


----------



## becoming (Apr 11, 2003)

Well, my answer would be to just keep yourselves busy and go at least one place every day, BUT I am much like your son. I go absolutely stir-crazy when stuck in the house even for a few hours. I think your son and I would get along famously!









I hope someone has some better suggestions for you.


----------



## Stacymom (Jul 7, 2002)

I can so relate. Oh my goodness!

My oldest dd (now four) has been like this since birth. When she was an infant, we would spend all day out of the house, with her in the front pack or a sling, window shopping, running errards, etc. You name it, we did it, just because she was so much happier always doing, touching, seeing, smelling, sensory inputting. (Okay, not real word, but you know what I mean!







) She was so bored at home!) I got to take her to work with me for months after she was born, and she was so happy there being around all the different people and everything that was going on.

I live in Salt Lake City UT, and the Olympics were here when she was five months old. I remember bundling her up one Sunday afternoon, and dh and I an dd went downtown to see the sights. She was so engrossed in everything! The joke after that was that it only takes a world celebration to keep her entertained!









Now, things are not much different. Every morning, when we're getting dressed, the question is always "Mom, where are we going? I want to go somewhere!" I hear that question all day, every day. And just like teachma, the days where we don't go somewhere or have something planned are the hardest, because she's bored, whiny, and getting into trouble. We have something every day of the week but one now, just to help her be active and involved, and keep us all from going completely crazy.









This is one of the reasons that I've decided that she needs to go to school- I don't think that hs'ing would work with her personality.

On days where I absolutely have to stay home to get things done, we have friends over a lot. She does so much better palying on her own if she has someone there with her. She and my younger dd will disappear for hours at a time if they have friends over. I also have an 11 year old mother's helper that comes over twice a week for a few hours while I'm working at home in the afternoons, which she really likes. And having a fenced backyard with a really, big energetic dog also helps. Sometimes, a half hour or so running around in the backyard with the dog does wonders.


----------



## hhurd (Oct 7, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *teachma*
The flip side is, when we are at home trying to have a relaxing day, it just can't happen for him. He gets whiny, causes trouble by doing things he is not supposed to do, winds up spending a large part of the day crying...but if we keep him going outside of the house, with specific, planned activities that give lots of stimulation, he is fine. It's absolutely exhausting! What to do? (Advice and empathy welcome...)

You are describing my life...it is exhausting always being on the go.

I'd love to spend a few hours hanging out at home reading with ds playing at my side....HAH!


----------

