# Tired mommy, had a scary experience and now nervous about nights/early mornings...



## nicholeraine (Jun 14, 2009)

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## jlms (Feb 21, 2010)

oh dear!! STOP feeling so guilty!! I agree that having your pet rats in the bedroom was probably not a good idea, but now you have moved them and taken care of the problem. I was just reading a parenting magazine that suggested doing exactly what you are doing to get a few extra minutes of sleep in the morning- letting your baby/toddler play a bit on their own in the morning. You said you have a play pen? Would he play in there for awhile? Maybe that way you could worry less. We are all tired as mommies, and I understand trying to get any extra sleep. I think it's wonderful that you co-sleep with your son and you should continue to do so. Everything is ok- you're son is ok. Stop beating yourself up!


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## nicholeraine (Jun 14, 2009)

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## CherryBombMama (Jan 25, 2010)

i kinda dont understand how the rats and co-sleeping relate =\

im sorry you had such a scare ... you can think of it this way - because you were co-sleeping, you heard your son choking and were able to get the seed out of his throat. does that help?

but honestly, no matter how tired i am in the morning, i HAVE to get up to watch my DS otherwise things just like this happen. even with a completely babyproofed room. what if he is crawling super fast then trips then bonks his head, KWIM?

hopefully going to bed earlier helps you out, GL


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## scottishmommy (Nov 30, 2009)

Really, stop beating yourself up! If it makes you geel any better my dd choked on a penny when I was awake and just vegging out! These things happen. Like pp said doesn't it make you feel better that you were there? One of the reasons I cosleep is to be with my child where I know what she's doing. Letting her sleep in another room? Forget about it!
Just a side thought... how big are these seeds? Could he really have choked or did it just make him gag?


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## nicholeraine (Jun 14, 2009)

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## nicholeraine (Jun 14, 2009)

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## ElliesMomma (Sep 21, 2006)

i'm tired too. when i was reading and getting to the part about him choking, i was thinking, OMG it was one of the baby rats he was choking on. at least it wasn't that!!

well, for what it's worth, it sounds like you aren't going to be resting well for awhile now anyway, so i'd quit worrying about what will happen in the morning when you are dozing.

are you taking naps during the day, ie, when the baby sleeps? i have started taking naps around noon with my 5 month old whilest letting my 3.5 year old entertain herself. they are a great refresher that enable me to get through the afternoon with both kids...


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## leaves (Oct 16, 2009)

no no no!! don't feel guilty! this happens to EVERY baby, i promise. and most of the time, mama catches it and everyone is okay! oh gosh, i can name something that each of my siblings (i have five) stuck in their mouth and gagged on. one time my sister who didn't crawl until she was ten months found a paper towel and almost choked on that ...and my mom has NO idea how she found it! my son has already had the opportunity to get bits of stuff in his mouth before i could catch him. don't feel guilty, just take it as a learning experience! now you will just be more cautious.


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## CherryBombMama (Jan 25, 2010)

nicholeraine said:


> The rats only relate because they are nocturnal and they threw food out of their cage in the middle of the night when me and my son were already asleep.. If they weren't in there, there would've been nothing on the floor for him to pick up and eat..
> 
> QUOTE]
> 
> ...


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## nicholeraine (Jun 14, 2009)

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## Maluhia (Jun 24, 2007)

him choking on a tiny thing that you CAUGHT, not your fault. I'd be more concerned about getting help for your depression that is making you so tired, that makes me worry for you!


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## starling&diesel (Nov 24, 2007)

I don't think this has much to do with co-sleeping, being that he could've picked something up just about anywhere in the second or two that you have your back turned. Hang in there, mama. We all have choking stories of some kind or another.


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## nicholeraine (Jun 14, 2009)

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## Maluhia (Jun 24, 2007)

The good thing is that if you need medicine, they CAN find ones that are breastfeeding friendly BUT there is also so much more to therapy that can help, it's always worth going and even going to more than one Dr. if you don't fit with the first. Great therapy can go a long way, with or without medication


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## GreenGranolaMama (Jul 15, 2009)

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Originally Posted by *starling&diesel* 
I don't think this has much to do with co-sleeping, being that he could've picked something up just about anywhere in the second or two that you have your back turned. Hang in there, mama. We all have choking stories of some kind or another.

Yup, I make my dogs food for him out of rice, tofu, and a bit of whatever veggies I buy during the week. This week it was chunks of zucchini. Aparently the dog took a bit of his food, brought it across the kitchen and set some of it down on the floor. Unbeknownst to me, Rowan crawled over to where he set down a (completely choke-able!) piece of zucchini and put it in his mouth. Thankfully DH saw him do it and fished it out really quick, but it all happened so fast, in a matter of moments









So now I make sure to chop up the veggies in the dogs food really small, just in case it ever happens again. Don't beat yourself up Mama, sorting out the baby/ pet relations has been a learning experience for us, but ( I hate to say) it's pretty normal, as scary as it all is.

ETA: but, to end on a more positive note, it's not all scary, the baby and the dog are totally smitten with each other


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## confustication (Mar 18, 2006)

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Originally Posted by *nicholeraine* 
Oh thanks...







I am going to see a counsellor and get a referral to a good psychiatrist but otherwise I don't feel *right* going on anti-depressants while I'm breastfeeding.. I know so many women do it but I just can't.. So I'm trying to suck it up for another year because my goal is to breastfeed for 2 years..

Honestly, I can understand the reluctance, but if meds will help you be the mom he needs now, and will help you be more comfortable now- I'd go for it. There are some that won't cross into breastmilk in substantial quantities.

That said- you were there, and he was ok. No guilt allowed.


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## thixle (Sep 26, 2007)

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Originally Posted by *confustication* 
Honestly, I can understand the reluctance, but if meds will help you be the mom he needs now, and will help you be more comfortable now- I'd go for it. There are some that won't cross into breastmilk in substantial quantities.

That said- you were there, and he was ok. No guilt allowed.









yes, yes, yes! I am a completely different mommy on zoloft. I HATE taking meds. Hate the extra chemicals. But if you are sick, you need help. Someone on MDC told me: If you had a broken leg, would you feel guilty for going to the doc and having it set and taking painkillers?

DD2 swallowed a THUMBTACK at 10 months, when I was just getting out of bed, maybe 8 feet away from her (the cats knocked off the bulliten board during the night)... The day we got out of the hospital (3 day stay







) she pulled off a prong of a hairbrush and ate it. Then found a little toy dental mirror and choked on that. At least your kid was choking on food, lol







I felt like the worst mommy ever... but this kid puts EVERYTHING in her mouth. I was right there each time, and it still happened. Had absolutely nothing to do with co-sleeping!!! (I have a feeling she would have eaten any screws in a crib if she were in one, lol)

Accidents happen. You are a good mommy!


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## amma_mama (May 20, 2008)

Please don't beat yourself up -these things happen, even to the most vigilant... you cannot foresee everything that is going to be a potential "hazard". You were there for him and were able to react in time.

DD never swallowed anything unusual, but we have had our share of scares with her. Last month she asked if she could peel a potato for me. She's 5yo and I figured that the peeler was less dangerous than her "safety" scissors so I set her up. She also said that she has done it before with her babysitter. Five minutes later, I hear her say "ouch", then she started crying hysterically. There was quite a bit of blood and it initially looked like she scraped it down to the bone. She didn't but still skinned off quite a few layers of skin. By then I was relieved but it took me a couple of days to come clean with DH that I was the one who gave her the peeler (he thought that she just took it). Lesson learned. She healed and I got over the guilt though I now think twice before giving her any such tasks.

And, as other PPs have suggested, do be sure to take care of yourself!


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## Flower of Bliss (Jun 13, 2006)

I recently started taking fish oil twice a day, as well as a B complex, and a liquid mulitvitamin. I've been amazed at what a difference it's already making in my depression. I've been a much better mommy to my 3 year old lately because of it. I've also recently started therapy.


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## staceychev (Mar 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nicholeraine* 
Oh thanks...







I am going to see a counsellor and get a referral to a good psychiatrist but otherwise I don't feel *right* going on anti-depressants while I'm breastfeeding.. I know so many women do it but I just can't.. So I'm trying to suck it up for another year because my goal is to breastfeed for 2 years..

I understand your reluctance, but... as the adult child of a mother who has dealt with depression her whole life, I would urge you to reconsider. I nursed my daughter for four years, so you can't say I'm discounting your desire to breastfeed. But, having a mother who's depressed is really hard. I mean, really really hard. If you can do meds while breastfeeding, that's awesome. But, your son needs a _whole mother_, not just a source of milk. Getting your depression dealt with should take priority, IMHO.

Good luck...


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maluhia* 
The good thing is that if you need medicine, they CAN find ones that are breastfeeding friendly BUT there is also so much more to therapy that can help, it's always worth going and even going to more than one Dr. if you don't fit with the first. Great therapy can go a long way, with or without medication


















Do you have any relatives you can trust who'd be willing to come over and give you some breaks?


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## Lilygoose (Oct 27, 2009)

That must have been really scary! But, this could have just as easily happened when you were fully awake (they're just so quick). Kids put stuff in their mouths and we as parents are not perfect. We can try our darndest and do really well, but inevitably we won't think of or notice everything. I'm just lucky my DD brings me and small things she is unfamiliar with (Bless her) or throws them in the garbage, although occasionally she'll somehow find old bits of food she threw weeks ago that I missed with the vacuum. Like PPs wrote, it is a good thing you co-sleep because that meant you were there to handle the situation. I watch my DD like a hawk, hoping to prevent things from happening, but mostly because then I am there to deal with whatever happened. Please take care of yourself. Having dealt with depression it can really be hard. Don't be afraid to ask for help and be understanding with yourself.


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## milkybean (Mar 19, 2008)

I wouldn't worry one little bit about this!

First, you were there to hear him and sense him and work towards helping him. Second, he vomited which helped himself.

And third, most importantly, this isn't about cosleeping at all! My husband was climbing out of his crib at 9 months. And the first few times he did that new trick? He hid. Oh what fun for his mother!

So just being in a crib doesn't keep them out of stuff, unless you make the crib like a prison with a lock and everything.

So don't worry about this! You have the rats out of the room (I did not know they were nocturnal...my oldest friend had one, and he was always awake during the day) and so they won't spit out seeds anymore in the bedroom.

Oh also I am totally lazy, and would try to sleep as long as possible with DS. I had the room locked, door knob lock on the INSIDE of the door just in case he wanted to get out, and on the door to the bathroom, everything in that room was Eamon-proofed so that if he woke up before I did, he couldn't get into trouble. Worked out well! No reason to feel guilty about it, IMO.


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## karika (Nov 4, 2005)

I do not understand how this 'incident' could make you question cosleeping. He got ahold of a seed. It is ok. relax. breastfed babies especially have a strong gag reflex and will not hurt themselves. babies can even put rocks in their mouths and not choke on them (mine have) but I am a nervous nellie and stop them when I see it. But really, I am wondering if you have read something or had someone offer some disparaging remarks about cosleepinng, or maybe you are really wanting the bed alone again? because a child choking on a seed really has nothing at all to do with cosleeping. how would it be any better if he were in another room when you are trying to get that 30-60 min cat nap in AM? the child would be terrified and screaming which would be much worse. babies and children belong with momma and sleeping all together is the way nature intended, so carry on please. I read you had been having soda and recently quit. good for you! the GMO corn they make HFCS with is very damaging, not to mention the preservatives. but the caffeine is particularly damaging and is just like cocaine IMO. When I first quit caffeine in '99, I slept for 3 days, had a headache like a hangover for 2 weeks and craved it to the point of salivating it for a month. you may be experiencing caffeine withdrawal with the extra tiredness. I suggest always lying down with the LO when they do, whis ensures you get plenty of down time since babies and children should be sleeping at least 12 hours a day, even if you don't sleep the whole time. I use my laptop, watch pbs, do word puzzles, read...


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## nicholeraine (Jun 14, 2009)

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