# My Daughters having sex!



## Corinnebaby (Jan 25, 2008)

Oh lord, the time has come! My daughter came to me very upset and proclaimed "Mom, i'm having sex". You could only imagine my reaction! I always told my daughter if she was ever thinking about having sex to come and talk to me about it so i could make sure she was protected and help her through the situation. As a mother, I'm very worried and not happy about her choice but at the same time I'm very pleased she did talk to me about it. She is sixteen and has been dating this boy for a year, and he's a very nice kid and i do believe they truley care for one another. Does Anyone have any advice on how to talk to her and make sure she is being responsible? How to comfort her? And me, haha? I'm a mess! I can't tell my husband because he will go crazy and my daughter asked me not to. Please any advice!


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## Oriole (May 4, 2007)

Oh my... I think it's great she feels she can trust you to talk about these things. *HUGS*

As much I don't approve, I would try very hard not to be judgemental. Here is a list of things I'd do....

* I'd ask about how she feels about the boy.
* I'd ask how she feels about sex (curious, nervous, excited?)
* I'd ask what she knows / needs regarding protection (take her to the store, or the doctor, or both and go over protection options).
* I would also ask if there is anything I can do for her in general.
* I would mention how much I appreciate her trust (this is a big thing to tell your parent).


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## Corinnebaby (Jan 25, 2008)

Thank you so much for your reply! I really do appreciate it I'm very overwhelmed and any opinions i receive are great! Your approach was awesome, and i know she really cares about him, he's been in her life for over a year. I love her to death and i just don't want to see her get hurt. I am going to schedule a doctors app. asap! I'm still contemplating whether or not to tell my husband aah..scary thought!

Thank you so much!


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## ErikaLeigh (Dec 24, 2006)

I wouldn't tell him because she asked you not to.

For her to trust you enough to come and tell you that she is having sex, is huge. Don't break her trust mama!

I wish my mother had been this great. I just do not have anymore advice


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## MillingNome (Nov 18, 2005)

:

I'll be watching this thread. No advice to offer right now.


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## Corinnebaby (Jan 25, 2008)

Thats what inspired me to be so open with my daughter. When i was her age and i started having sex it was a scary and confusing place. I wish I could have talked to my mother about it. I don't want my children to go at things like this alone. I want my kids to be able to talk to me and i hope (and my daughter has just approved this) i gave them that enviornment. Thank you so much for your reply, every piece of advice i can get helps!

hugssss


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## 2 in August (Jan 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Oriole* 
Oh my... I think it's great she feels she can trust you to talk about these things. *HUGS*

As much I don't approve, I would try very hard not to be judgemental. Here is a list of things I'd do....

* I'd ask about how she feels about the boy.
* I'd ask how she feels about sex (curious, nervous, excited?)
* I'd ask what she knows / needs regarding protection (take her to the store, or the doctor, or both and go over protection options).
* I would also ask if there is anything I can do for her in general.
* I would mention how much I appreciate her trust (this is a big thing to tell your parent).

Yes to all of this. My mom is a great mom, but I never was comfortable enough to tell her I had sex even though I was older than your dd. Don't tell your dh yet. Don't lose your dd's trust. After she gets used to the idea of you knowing and you make sure everything is ok, then ask her if you can tell dh because you don't feel comfortable keeping secrets from him. Then take it from there, but for now, don't do anything that will scare her into not confiding in you.


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## Corinnebaby (Jan 25, 2008)

very good point. I don't like keeping things from my family ha thats probably how my daughter feels also! Thank you so much for your continuing support!


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## ryansma (Sep 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Oriole* 

* I'd ask about how she feels about the boy.
* I'd ask how she feels about sex (curious, nervous, excited?)
* I'd ask what she knows / needs regarding protection (take her to the store, or the doctor, or both and go over protection options).
* I would also ask if there is anything I can do for her in general.
* I would mention how much I appreciate her trust (this is a big thing to tell your parent).

This is really good advice







Good luck mama!


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## Sage_SS (Jun 1, 2007)

Wow.. this speaks volumes about your relationship with your daughter! I have three daughters and I hope that they feel so comfortable talking with me about such things.

I agree with all that!


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## Arduinna (May 30, 2002)

Well I haven't btdt with finding out after. When dd was considering having sex with her boyfriend we talked about protection and I gave her a copy of Our Bodies, Ourselves and Taking Charge of Your Fertility. I wanted her to have backup in case she had questions and just wanted to look it up or something other than having to totally rely on talking to me. I also bought some condoms and the sponge for her just so she had some choices.


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## nolonger (Jan 18, 2006)

btdt twice. It's something I'm darned proud of that both of my teens felt comfortable confiding in me AND that both of them waited to have sex until they were in established, long term, loving relationships. I'm genuinely sorry that ds's relationship didn't last, even though it seemed so obvious to me that it wouldn't.

As a former teenager, I make sure that there are condoms in the bathroom just as I make sure that there is toilet paper, tampons, and other necessities. ds made some comment about not wanting me to freak out if I found a condom in his pocket and I assured him that I'd freak out if I DIDN'T.

These kids are up against so much more in the way of STDs than we ever had to deal with. There's too much at stake to trust that your partner will be monogamous. dd also uses foam and we have spoken about NFP. She inherited my thermometer after Terran was conceived, but I have always emphasized that charting, foam, and other kinds of birth control are to be used in ADDITION to condoms.


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## Datura (Mar 18, 2005)

I'm just blown away by her telling you that! That is such a victory and a testament to an open, loving relationship! Woohoo!







I wish I'd been able to talk to my mom the way she can clearly talk to you. No advice, just a *happy dance!*


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## Arduinna (May 30, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *noordinaryspider* 
These kids are up against so much more in the way of STDs than we ever had to deal with.

You know I'm going to respectfully disagree with this. I notice we are about the same age, going by your sig. I'm 43, I remember when AIDS first arrived, I was sexually active before AIDS. I think kids today have it much better than people of our generation. When it first broke no one knew for sure how you go it, how to protect yourself and there was no test. It was scary times. For all you knew you already had it or was sleeping with someone who did and just didn't know it yet.

Kids today have much easier IMO. And let's not forget prior generations before there was a safe reliable cure for syphilis.


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## Arwyn (Sep 9, 2004)

The only fresh piece of advice (other than huge yeah thats to everything above) is to not make predictions about her relationship. Don't assume it's going to be forever, but don't assume it isn't either. Don't assume anything. Just be in the moment with her, and be proud of yourself that you "done good" enough to have this trust placed in you.


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## barbara73069 (Apr 21, 2007)

Just adding my congratulations that she felt she could go to you with this information. Having dated for a year you know it's not a short term relationship and obviously her and her bf gave alot of thought to this. My daughters 17 and 15 are both in long term relationships and also sexually active. It's just part of the growing up process and I think you've done a great job with her. Barb


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

I hope my dd tells me too. I'd kinda like to hear about it before she has decided to have sex though.

If this were my dd, I would take her to the doctor and get her on some birth control pills ASAP. (which might also solve some of her other problems as well) I would even pay for them as long as she was still in school/college.


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## Corinnebaby (Jan 25, 2008)

Thank you so much for everyones support! I just logged on and was overwhelmed and a tear came to my eye knowing that i have the support of moms everywhere. Everyones advice gave me all different kinds of ideas, i scheduled an app with the doctor on Feb. 5th! I will be paying for it for as long as she needs me to. I got her set up in this forum for teens who have questions and maybe she will feel better talking to her peers just as I do talking to all of you! I talk to her everyday and I support my daughter in every decision that she makes! I also am planning to have a sit down with her and he boyfriends (not judgmental) but to explain things to both of them. I will keep updating everyone and I love the support!

p.s hope to get a picture of my daughter up soon!
LOVE YOU ALL


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## mack (Sep 5, 2007)

Congratulations on your smart daughter and great relationship with her! I wish more moms were like that! I have one piece of advice to add to the mix, be sure to let your daughter know that no matter how much she loves her boyfriend, and how much he loves her, and even if she is on birth control, DON'T STOP USING THE CONDOMS!!! No matter what a boy says(I've been tested, I was a virgin when I met you, etc), don't ever NOT use a condom (or dental dam)! There are STD's that can't be tested for, and as much as you want to trust them, boys (and girls) might lie and/or cheat. Good Luck!


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## Corinnebaby (Jan 25, 2008)

very good piece of advice. Very wise addition, you are absolutely right. I will be sure to bring this up to my daughter and also her boyfriend. There are so many things to know and i do wish that she would be crossing this path at an older age but the times now have changed. Thank you for all your love and support!


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## KaraBoo (Nov 22, 2001)

I think it's great that your daughter feels she can come to you with such private information.

My elder dd, now 18, and I talked a lot (ad nauseum, according to her LOL) about safe sex and feelings and personal satisfaction and such and STILL I wonder if she's 'okay' so just keep talking and staying close. ((()))


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## kamesennin (Jan 3, 2005)

.


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corinnebaby* 
very good piece of advice. Very wise addition, you are absolutely right. I will be sure to bring this up to my daughter and also her boyfriend. There are so many things to know and i do wish that she would be crossing this path at an older age but the times now have changed. Thank you for all your love and support!

One other thing teens don't think about. But, more often than not, when a teenage girl gets pregnant and choses to have the baby, the father will be out of the picture within a few years. The boy really doesn't carry the same responsibility as the girl does. Neither one will ever imagine him leaving her with a child to raise alone, but in the end, he can. So, remind her that even if he is a "stand up guy" he is just a kid, and he most likely wont be there for long if things get complicated.

I am not saying that that is a bad thing, or that all teenage boys will run off to finish their life, but it is a reality that she needs to keep in mind when he says "Can't we just do it without a condom this one time, I just want to see what it's like".


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## LessTraveledBy (Feb 9, 2005)

It is very neat to read about the relationship between mom and daughter.









Yet... I would ask her to go and read in a couple of the forums here. She needs to understand that pregnancy is not something that happens only to those who are not responsible. There are women here who have got pregnant on every single method out there. I think this is something every teen should know, otherwise it is not a matter of a real decision but rather of ignorance.


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## Corinnebaby (Jan 25, 2008)

In response to nextcommercial:
Yes, i do agree with your views. However, the fact that my daughter came to me i feel she was wise and wanted to avoid this situation. My daughter will be on birth control in the next week and I will be supplying her with condoms as well. As a mother, i can only guide her and the fact she has come to me, I know I did my job. I believe that by her being on birth control and protected at all times she will not have to cross that path. And if by any chance she does(which I know my daughter is smarter than that) I hope she knows her family will always be by her side. But I do thank you for your response and adding your thoughts! Everything counts!

thanks again!


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## PancakeGoddess (Oct 8, 2004)

just a quick post to say that my first was also at that age with a boy I really loved. I still have no regrets (some others that came after, yea, lol, but not that first one - it was a good first love)


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## ryansma (Sep 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Anumaria* 
It is very neat to read about the relationship between mom and daughter.









Yet... I would ask her to go and read in a couple of the forums here. She needs to understand that pregnancy is not something that happens only to those who are not responsible. There are women here who have got pregnant on every single method out there. I think this is something every teen should know, otherwise it is not a matter of a real decision but rather of ignorance.

That!
Being "protected" is a great idea but being in a sexual relationship _should_ mean that you are ready for the consequences of that kind of relationship too.


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## littlemizflava (Oct 8, 2006)

good job







she came to you and didnt hide it great relationship








she is going to do it if you aprove or not so i say got condoms lots of condoms and just put them in her room with a note saying let me know if you need more... this is what i have always said and will do when my kids are older. i will not wait till they are having sex to have them on hand for them. why because my mother told me that if i had sex to use condoms i asked her if she is going to buy them she told me no i asked if she will give me money to buy them she said no i said then how am i to use something that i dont have







but i had a sweet dr that use to give me lots of them even before i was having sex just incase


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## shantimama (Mar 11, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corinnebaby* 
In response to nextcommercial:
Yes, i do agree with your views. However, the fact that my daughter came to me i feel she was wise and wanted to avoid this situation. My daughter will be on birth control in the next week and I will be supplying her with condoms as well. As a mother, i can only guide her and the fact she has come to me, I know I did my job. I believe that by her being on birth control and protected at all times she will not have to cross that path. And if by any chance she does(which I know my daughter is smarter than that) I hope she knows her family will always be by her side. But I do thank you for your response and adding your thoughts! Everything counts!

thanks again!

Your confidence in your daughter is wonderful - but no method of birth control is 100% effective 100% of the time. She and her partner need to remember that - it isn't just about being smart. Using the BCP and condoms properly will significantly decrease the chances of pregnancy, but as part of a mature sexual relationship they might consider having a conversation about what they would do if they did conceive a child together.

Good for you for being the kind of mom your dd can talk to!


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## mommy68 (Mar 13, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Oriole* 
Oh my... I think it's great she feels she can trust you to talk about these things. *HUGS*

I agree.







I would revel in the fact that she knows she can trust you and wanted to share this with you while she is *still* 16. I never would have shared such info with either one of my parents at that age or even at the age of 30, lol. You must be a great mom!

I agree with the suggestions of some of the others. All you can do is be there for her. I don't know if I agree with you on hiding the fact that she is having sex from your husband. My husband would be livid if he ever found out I knew something like that and didn't tell him, but on the other hand, he would also go ballistic if he knew about it. So I guess one never knows what they will do until they are in that situation themselves.


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## pompompaigesmom (Jan 27, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *iamthesmilingone* 







:

I'll be watching this thread. No advice to offer right now.

mee too
I feel for you !
Hang in there and keep the communication line open.

Tracy


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## MamaLisa1 (Mar 9, 2004)

I'm so glad to hear she came to you. I'm dreading this myself, but hoping that she will come to me. My DD will be 16 in March and has been dating her boyfriend on and off for the last 8 months or so. She insists they haven't gone that far, but I feel like it will go in that direction. Especially since she just went and got a thong on her own when she had previously thought they were gross. I just think thong panties for a teenager might = wanting to be more sexy for her boyfriend!

My daughter, I think, has been honest with me so far...telling me what they've done, and how she thinks "semenal fluid" is gross...but her boyfriend is two years older, and I'm pretty sure he wants to do more. ugggg.


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## Corinnebaby (Jan 25, 2008)

As for some of the comments above! Thank you for being here and I definatly agree with all of you! Of couse I am very aware that no amount of protection (esp BCP alone) can prevent her from having a baby besides NOT HAVING SEX IN THE FIRST PLACE! I did have a talk with my daughter and laid out all the "mature" consequnces that come with such a "mature" decision. I hope to sit both her and her boyfriend down together. But like one of the comments above said "shes going to do it with or without my consent" I cant protect her from everything so I will do my best to do my part. I am so glad I get to hear all the great feedback from different parents! It really brings a tear to my eye knowing that I have people I can talk with and truly recieve great advice without being judged!

ps-momalisa!
I felt the same way as you before my daughter came to me! When children are in a long term relationship (anything more than three months is a long time to them! haha) they start to think that "they will get married" and all different types of thoughts, I know i did at that age! I would maybe bring her to the gynecologists for routine check up and just ask if she needs BCP you will put her on it, that way maybe she will feel like your offering (but you dont want to encourage her either). It's a tough job being a mom huh! Just let her know that you love her and will not judge her on her decision at any point (thats the last thing they need in their lives)

THANKS EVERYONE I LOVE YOU ALL!


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## MamaLisa1 (Mar 9, 2004)

I asked my gyno and the family doc about getting an exam for her, and they told me that she doesn't need to start having pelvics and so forth until she is either 18 or sexually active. Well, if she doesn't tell anyone she's active, how can I know to take her??? I thought that was kind of a dumb guideline, lol! I'm going to have a chat with her soon and just remind her about the consequences of having sex. My youngest daughter is 3, and she is very challenging at times, and my DD often says she never wants any kids because of the little one! We asked her earlier if she was going to wait till she got married and she said yes, and then I laughed, and then she got offended at my laughing at that. Regardless....we will be having another of those uncomfortable talks! I don't find them uncomfy....but the girls do!


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## Corinnebaby (Jan 25, 2008)

haha i know exactly what you mean! However, before i found out that my daughter was sexually active they told me between 15 and 16 to start coming not only do they want to check after your sexually active but with having a regular menstrual period they usually like to check to make sure everything is working properly. I would just take her for a check-up anyway (they can't tell you no haha). Yes, I would have one of those talks for sure but make sure its not to overbearing or too pushy in the direction of not to do it. I think it tends to scare them a little more into telling you because they know what decision you would like them to make haha (OF COURSE EVERY MOTHERS DREAM WOULD BE TO WAIT FOR HER TO BE MARRIED AM I RIGHT?! LOL). I trust my daughter as you trust yours and I'm sure your daughter is responsible enough to come to you when she is!

HUGS AND KISSES
let me know how it goes!


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## MamaLisa1 (Mar 9, 2004)

I think I will take her right around her 16th birthday...or a little sooner maybe. She has either a skin colored mole or wart right next to her nose and I want to get it removed for her. It's small, but it bugs her. She needs a checkup anyway.
She will probably have sex before she is out of high school if I have to guess. I don't want her to, but it's likely. I did at almost 16...but I only did it twice and thought it was really not so hot, and then waited to do it again until about 2 months after I graduated. It was much better that time, but I think I was more ready, and that particular boyfriend was more appropriate for me, anatomically speaking, LOL!!!!!
What I'm nervous about is: Prom night. It's in less than two months. All I can hope is, that her big fluffy dress is a huge deterrent in him getting anywhere near her nether-regions that night! OR better yet, her period is due right around that time!!! Isn't that terrible? I just worry that they'll get all caught up in the romance of the evening. She isn't going to be allowed to go to any of the after-prom parties, so hopefully that will reduce the chances. I may slide a condom in her purse anyway, I don't know.


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## Corinnebaby (Jan 25, 2008)

girlfriend, i feel ya! But honestly, prom nights are so hot anymore. It's so cliche, kids these days go to parties and make other bad choices (like drink, smoke, etc.) NOT SAYING YOUR DAUGHTER WOULD PARTAKE IN SUCH EVENTS!!!! hahaah Don't be worried because you can't do anything. I came to a point where i realized I can't stop her from living her life and having "the highschool experience" all you can do is just ask questions, love her, and off your advice DO NOT PUSH IT. i found the more i pushed something the more they wanted to do it....go figure! Anyway, talk to her, set a curfew or if she's sleeping out have her call her from her girlfriends house phone haha just check in don't worry sweety i'm sure she's a great girl!


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## MAMom (Mar 24, 2005)

I'm surprised that no one has mentioned seeing a midwife instead of an OB/Gyn. I wish I had known about midwives when I was 16!

=================
Mama to DS 5/03 & DD 2/06 (HBAC!)





























: ICAN "Birth is the epicenter of women's power." ~Ani DiFranco


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## MamaLisa1 (Mar 9, 2004)

midwifery isn't legal in all states, unfortunately.

I looked and I cannot even find a midwife practicing in our area at all. I used one for our last two births in PA, but I had to go with an regular gyn once we moved south.


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## aliinnc (Jan 10, 2008)

Like the other readers, I am very impressed with your relationship with your daughter. It gives me hope for mine!


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## GreenKnitPocket (Feb 2, 2008)

I was 15 when i first went to the OBGYN and I'm glad I did because they found a slight bacterial infection. Nothing sex related, but I had to take big pills. I think it's better to start teens earlier because they will because more aware of their body and get into a routine of going every year so when they get to college and become sexual active they will already have a comfortable relationship with their doctor and feel better about going to the doctor if anything is irregular.


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## MAMom (Mar 24, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MamaLisa1* 
midwifery isn't legal in all states, unfortunately.

I looked and I cannot even find a midwife practicing in our area at all. I used one for our last two births in PA, but I had to go with an regular gyn once we moved south.

_"All 50 States have recognized nurse-midwifery as a legal profession."_
http://bhpr.hrsa.gov/kidscareers/nurse_midwife.htm

But CM's, CPM's & direct entry midwives are not able to legally practice in all states, you're right.

MamaLisa1, American College of Nurse-Midwives, North Carolina Chapter has lots of info if you're still in NC.


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## sleepingbeauty (Sep 1, 2007)

As a teen I can tell you the things that truely drove me up the wall as far as sex talks went when i was younger:
~being talked down to
~being yelled at
~being told I'm massivly immature

My only advice (coming for the other side of the conversation) is to talk to your child like an adult. Sex is an adult activity and needs to be treated as such. It is a natural thing, you know? Just the fact that she can talk to you about it is great. The only sex talk my mother and I have is "mom, I need to go to the gyn." "er..ok" granted now it's different but back then it was just plain alkward.

Just make sure she gets the facts. Good luck. I know it's tough for you because you kid's growing up but you'll be ok, don't worry!


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## homewithtwinsmama (Jan 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MamaLisa1* 
midwifery isn't legal in all states, unfortunately.

I looked and I cannot even find a midwife practicing in our area at all. I used one for our last two births in PA, but I had to go with an regular gyn once we moved south.

That isn't true. Certified nurse midwives are legal and licensed in all 50 states. That said, you might not have one in your area as some areas are less likely to have midwives, but there isn't one single US state that makes CNMs illegal. You can go to the ACNM.org website and plug in your zip code to find one near you.


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## Maluhia (Jun 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Arduinna* 
Taking Charge of Your Fertility

I think there is a teen version of that somewhere - I've heard it's good!


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## lachingona1 (May 16, 2007)

You have done a wonderful job raising your daughter!! Keep that communication open!!

I couldn't even say the word sex in front of my mom when I was a teen and I'm still not comfortable saying it.

I hope I have a very open relationship with my daughters.


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## debbieh (Apr 22, 2007)

I want to add my congratulations to you for your dd coming to you. When I was a teen, I wanted very much to be able to talk to my mom. She would have been understanding about anything I told her, I know that for sure. But...and this is a BIG but...she would have told my dad anything and everything I might have confided in her, because she didn't believe in keeping anything from my dad. Believe me, I DO understand that, but on the other hand, I think some things are better left between dd and mother. Unless dd has no problem with her dad knowing.
As a result of my not being able to talk to my mom when I needed to, I made sure that all three of my dc knew that they could always talk to me and I would always respect their confidences. My dd1 came to me just before having sex, and we discussed the pros and cons...protection, the love aspect, and so forth. She has told me that it meant so much to her, to be able to confide in me. I







you for having that kind of relationship with your dd. It's not easy, knowing that your "baby" is having sex. But at least when/if there are problems, you will be the first she'll come to. Good luck mama.


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## blissful_maia (Feb 17, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Arwyn* 
The only fresh piece of advice (other than huge yeah thats to everything above) is to not make predictions about her relationship. Don't assume it's going to be forever, but don't assume it isn't either. Don't assume anything. Just be in the moment with her, and be proud of yourself that you "done good" enough to have this trust placed in you.

















:


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## _betsy_ (Jun 29, 2004)

Any update? How was her appointment? Did you find any of the recommended books, and if so, what did you think of them?

Wanted to mention that if you haven't already, you should probably thank your daughter for coming to you and talking about all this. Tell her you are proud of her for coming to you, that it means a lot to you that she trusted you, and that you'd like her to keep coming to you in the future - no matter what's going on, you're available.

That would have been huge for me to hear from my Mom, you know?


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## tinuviel (Feb 6, 2008)

There is now a vaccination available for HPV. Girls between the ages of 9 and 26 are considered "eligible" from what I have read. HPV results in genital warts and some forms of cervical cancer, and some people do not present signs of it. This requires a pap smear. My girls will be vaccinated at 12. I wish my son could be vaccinated. So far I have not heard of HPV vaccinations for boys.


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## _betsy_ (Jun 29, 2004)

tinuviel - you haven't been here long, huh? Check out the Vaccinations board. Lots to read and consider. Most members here are no/delayed/selective vax, and there's been much discussion about the so-called HPV vaccine.


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## brittneyscott (Mar 14, 2006)

Great for you! I HOPE my dd trusts me that much when she's a teenager. I know I couldn't talk to my mom about that stuff. When I did get pregnant with dd (1 1/2 yrs AFTER moving out of her house) she still had an attack like it was her problem. And my father.... well have you ever heard the story of the Virgin Mary? Well that's what he thinks happened to me, twice! Lucky girl huh? I think you've done a great job so far. My sis is 17 and just went to get a checkup and bc. I had to get her ins card from mom and take her and mom still didn't like it. Poor girl. At least I did it for her.. Nobody did that for me. I just used condoms and prayed I wouldn't get pregnant. Keep up the good work.


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## choli (Jun 20, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corinnebaby* 
OF COURSE EVERY MOTHERS DREAM WOULD BE TO WAIT FOR HER TO BE MARRIED AM I RIGHT?! LOL

Nope. I would definitely prefer for my DDs not to wait till marriage.

Congrats to your DD, she is lucky to have a mother she can talk to about these things!


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## firespiritmelody (Oct 13, 2005)

I would just like to point out, that even the most level headed, well rounded, well meaning kids do make mistakes too. I started having sex when I was 16 -made my bf (now hubby) buy the condoms, knew the drill. Hell *I* was the one all my friends came to when they had questions about sex/bc/relationships. They knew my mom would be understanding if they needed help and that she wouldn't judge them etc. I have a pretty good relationship with my mom and though I didn't tell her everything, we were pretty open.

Despite all that, I had unprotected sex with my bf and after 6 months being sexualy active we got pregnant. Fortunetly, we have beat the odds in pretty much every other way (in fact we're expecting #3 in july)

It was a total blind side to my mom. She felt absolulty betrayed becuase I was the one that *knew better* etc. But being smarter or knowing better doesn't stop you from making mistakes. So please, please. please do not assume that your kids are smarter then that, or know better or what ever.

Talking to you about sex is only the first step - keep that communication open, it's issential!

Good luck!


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