# Kids carrying babies?



## SaoirseC (Jul 17, 2009)

For those of you with older kids, at what age do you think it's safe for an older child to carry a baby? My son is almost 7, and DS#2 is 4 months old. DS#1 is 50ish lbs, and a little taller for his age. DS#2 is 15ish lbs. DS#1 seems very capable of carrying DS#2, but it still freaks me out. What do you think? What have you done? What is your standard of an appropriate age to hold and carry (as in, walk and hold) a smallish baby?


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## elmh23 (Jul 1, 2004)

My five year old picks up the baby and walks with him but only when he's getting in to something (he's 6mo) and I can't get him (dealing with my middle child, hands covered in something, etc.) Other than those times, we have a no pick up the baby rule and I anticipate to have that rule for at least 5 more years if we have any more children.


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## greenemami (Nov 1, 2007)

Dsd is 9 and I don't let her carry ds (6 months) around. He is ~20 lbs and very squirmy-there have been times when he has flung himself around so hard that even I have almost dropped him! I am both worried that he will fall down and get hurt and worried that she would never get over it if she did accidentally drop him. I am a worrier though, lol.

I have let my 12 and 13-year-old cousins hold him and carry him.


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## Peony (Nov 27, 2003)

DD1 was 6 when DS was born. I didn't allow her to carry him as a newborn but once he got a little older she did. Just around the house, she still drags him around although now he is old enough to put up a good fight when he isn't interested.


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## SaoirseC (Jul 17, 2009)

Greenmami- I've forgotten about the flailing that older babies do. Thanks for the reminder.
Peony- I'm looking forward to that sturdier age. Of course, by the time that DS#2 is that size, he's not going to need holding as much. DS#1 derives a lot of pleasure from holding his little brother, and I don't want to get in the way of their relationship. But I don't want to put DS#2 in danger (or risk DS#1 having to carry guilt for the rest of his life for having caused injury to DS#2). I'm just really on the fence. I was sort of waiting for DH to object, but he didn't seem to think anything of it.


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## blessedwithboys (Dec 8, 2004)

My baby sister was born when I was 9.5yo. I was quite capable of carrying her around right from the get-go, indoors and out and about. Our middle sister was 7 at that time. By the time she was capable of safely carrying the baby, the baby no longer needed carrying.

I have a friend who has 6 kids. At this moment, they are ages 13, 10, 8, 4, 2, and 3wks. The now-10yo was able to safely carry around the now-4yo pretty much from the first few weeks. She also carried the now-2yo. I'm pretty sure she carries the newborn as well. She has also been big and strong enough to put the baby in and out of the bassinette and carseat/swing/bouncy seat since she was about 6/7yo. The now-13/almost-14yo does not carry babies. He just can't seem to figure it out, though he can safely hold them while sitting, if someone else (even his younger sister) is nearby to help.


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## nola79 (Jun 21, 2009)

Ds is 7, almost 8, and he carries dd, 7 months, around the house. He's done this a few months, and he does fine with her. She doesn't flail very much, though, and I'm always right there when he does it.


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## jeminijad (Mar 27, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blessedwithboys* 
My baby sister was born when I was 9.5yo. I was quite capable of carrying her around right from the get-go, indoors and out and about.

Ditto. Only I was babysitting at that age. Not for long stretches, but I certainly cared for (and could carry) infants.


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## SaoirseC (Jul 17, 2009)

There's a 5 year age gap between myself and my next sibling. I wasn't really allowed to hold, carry, or help care for any of my younger brothers (I was 9 when my youngest brother was born). Maybe that's why I'm so freaked out by this. Thanks for the replies, I'm going to have to let this concept settle in my mind a little longer.


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## redpajama (Jan 22, 2007)

I think this *totally* depends on the kid--and not so much the size of the kid. My son is 5.5, average-sized. Like another poster said, he occasionally grabs our 13-month-old for me if I can't do it myself--just puts his arms under hers (from behind) and takes her a few steps away. He could cradle a newborn in a chair right now, but absolutely could not carry one safely. Even a bigger baby with better head control. I'm pretty sure he would just bear hug a baby, like he does his sister, and lift them that way.

My friend's daughter, though, just turned 8, and she'll put a baby up on her hip and carry it around likes she's been doing it her whole life. And she was doing that at 6, for sure, and maybe at 5. I was very comfortable with her carrying my youngest when she was 7 and the baby was 4-6 months. Newborns, too. I would still be careful--kids tend to fall down somewhat inexplicably at a rate that adults do not. But some kids definitely have more of a sense of how to hold/support a baby than others.


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## paxye (Mar 31, 2005)

My 5 year old can help get my 7 month old out of sticky situations (behind a chair etc) while I am busy...

My 8 year old wears my 7 month old in the Ergo for short walks and loves to use the sling also...

I don't worry about him holding her at all...


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## WorldsBestMom (Dec 3, 2009)

Well if its helping the baby with little stuff, I would say 7, but actually carrying them around for a short while I would say, 10years of age would be more suitable. Reason is, kids at that age more stronger and are able to balance themselves properly. So the lesser the liklehood of an accident occuring.


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## Devaskyla (Oct 5, 2003)

My (just turned) 9 year old has been carrying our youngest since ds3 was born. He's occasionally freaked me out a little (carrying him facing out going down the stairs) but is generally very careful & looks like he's been doing it his whole life. My 5 year old occasionally carries ds3, but basically just to get him out of trouble.


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## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

My oldest was 6 when our youngest was born. I was comfy with her carrying him, and she loved to. Heck, even now at 9.5 (and 3.5 years) she can carry him. She's strong, sturdy and more along the size of a 12 yo, though.

Other people used to freak out about her carrying a newborn/infant around, but she never dropped him or fell or anything.

She also wore him for short amounts of time in a carrier/sling.


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## MJB (Nov 28, 2009)

My oldest was 3 when my second was a baby and I let him carry him short distances once he could hold his head up.
My boys are 7.5 and 4.5 and I have an 8 week old (who's about 13 lbs.) I let my oldest carry her but not my second. He's just not as careful of a kid as his big brother. I don't let my oldest carry her on steps, concrete, etc. but around the house, sure.


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## ChetMC (Aug 27, 2005)

Our girls are 5 and 6. Our baby is 11 months, but not very heavy. Our 6 year old often picks up the baby to rescue him from the our two year old. Our 5 year old can't do it. Our 7 year old neighbhour used to pick up the baby once he was around five months old.


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## Adaline'sMama (Apr 16, 2010)

I have 4 younger sibilings, and my mother let me carry all of them inside the house. I was allowed to carrry the last one (born when I was 14) everywhere. I know the big rules were no running and no jumping. I would think an older kid (4 feet tall) may even be capable of carrying a sibling outside if he or she were wearing a sling.


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## triscuitsmom (Jan 11, 2007)

I was 8.5 years when my sister was born and I carried her all around right from the start. She was "my" baby









Our brother was 6 years old at the time and he didn't carry her around by himself until she had head control and more body control. He would've been 7 probably before he was confidently carrying her.

I'm with those who say it totally depends on the kid. When my second was born I handed him off at church to my friends daughters who were 10, 12, and 13 at the time and got looks when doing so with the younger two. It honestly never even crossed my mind to be worried for him (we are talking about a new newborn here). These girls have two much younger siblings of their own and we are neighbours and they are constantly around my kids. I knew he was as fine as he would've been with another adult. Could they have tripped? Yes. But so could I. Or another adult. It was extremely unlikely.

A child who was not comfortable would make me not comfortable. My brother even now isn't comfortable carrying newborns, and he's almost 22 at this point. So I don't ask him to.


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## SaoirseC (Jul 17, 2009)

LOL, my little brother is 17 and I made him hold his nephew. We were on padded carpet (at home we have all hardwood floors), and I think he was just hesitant because of a lack of experience.


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## triscuitsmom (Jan 11, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SaoirseC* 
LOL, my little brother is 17 and I made him hold his nephew. We were on padded carpet (at home we have all hardwood floors), and I think he was just hesitant because of a lack of experience.

With my first I did this. I got a picture of them together. I'm pretty sure he didn't hold my second as a newborn though and I'm sure he hasn't held the new one yet. For my brother he really doesn't have much interest in them, is almost a little scared of them as newborns. Other people in my family get a bit upset by it, but it doesn't bother me at all. It's his comfort level. And besides, I've seen him with his nephews now that they can talk and walk and interact with him (4 years and 19 months) and he's a prostar!














So for now I'll snuggle the squishy baby and I know that one day he'll be comfortable with this one too


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## OkiMom (Nov 21, 2007)

It would totally depend on the child. My 3 year old would pick up and move her sister out of the way of danger when DD1 was 2ish and DD2 was a new crawler so around 4 months. She still picks up and moves her sister although its harder for her now since DD2 is 21 months now.
With the new baby (Im expecting in Feb, DD1 would be 4) I don't see a problem as long as shes careful for her to pick up the baby out of his/her bouncer and carry them a few feet to me. Shes very careful with babies though, she doesn't even carry her baby doll roughly, she craddles him in her arms. I do have to convince her not to hide with the baby though, she use to hide with DD2 and it would scare the heck out of me.


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## Marissamom (Dec 17, 2009)

I have two younger sisters, one is 3 years younger then me, and I didn't carry her around. the other is almost 7 years younger than me, and I carried her around (and did things like change her diapers and let her use my finger as a pacifier). It just depends on the kid. if the kid is going to be responsible enough to be careful and is strong enough to drop the younger kid, then I don't see reason to worry. of course, when DD was a newborn I let a 4 year-old hold her standing up and pick her up from the floor, and a couple months later let my 11 and 9 year old nieces take her for almost an hour at a time when we were at a wedding.


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## MyFullHouse (Apr 23, 2010)

Another vote for varying by child!

My 12yo is extremely uncoordinated. I don't even like him picking up the 3yo unless it's a matter of removing him from trouble. My 8yo has better coordination and spacial awareness.

I doubt I'll let any of the kids walk around with this baby until he's pretty sturdy. Each of the kids (including the 3yo) kept trying to pick up my 1yo niece a few weeks ago. I told them not to, but mostly because she wasn't "ours", so we weren't allowed to "break" her.


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## purplepaisleymama (Jan 31, 2007)

I would say it totally depends on the child.... my oldest is going to be 13 and is not great with carrying babies under a few months, he forgets to watch the head and is easily distracted. I am fine with him sitting and holding the baby ( when it comes







but will not have the tv on at the same time so he is not distracted.

When our 5yo was born he was just over 5 lbs, when we discharged from the NICU he was under 5 lbs and I was comfortable with our daughter carrying him, she was 6 at the time. She is one of those people who is completely at home with babies, she loves them and is very attentive to their needs and comfort, more-so than some adults I know. She is going to be allowed to take care of this little one, she and her older brother approached us after our third mc and said that if we had another baby they would do everything for it except feed it ( I bf so that would be a little difficult for them








When our 7 yo was born he was held for 48 hours, we feel that babies are happiest when held and he was a very happy baby! The first time that he was put down, I placed him on our bed, surrounded by pillows and went to get a drink. I turned around a minute or so later and his older sister (who was 4 at the time) was carrying him down the hallway to me, supporting his head and holding him like an expert. She said that he looked like he was going to cry and she wanted him to be happy so she was bringing him to me.... she was able to hold him after that, with supervision. She was more comfortable holding him than my mil









Our 9 and 7 yo boys are not as comfortable with babies under about 6 or so months, they will be holding the baby when sitting until they are comfortable with other situations. Our 5 yo has only held babies that are almost as big as him..... he is tiny and most babies are not that much smaller... he is excited about the new little one but is pretty convinced that she will be too big for him to hold. We will see!

There are plenty of kids who I would feel comfortable with holding a newborn, in my experience they are mostly kids who have many younger siblings... in our homeschooling group I can remember going to events where I needed to be involved and I would look around to see if someone would be willing to hold my little one..... usually the person who was hanging around closest was a tween who had many younger siblings and was looking for some baby snuggling time







Many times it would be a 10 to 15 yo boy whose younger sibling was toddling now and not as cuddly







Very helpful to have these kids around.

I can say that after my 5yo was born I was convinced that all new babies should come with an older sibling who loves to hold babies, it was wonderful to have someone who loved to cuddle him as much as I did.
~laura


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## RoamingWidgeteer (Jan 7, 2010)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SaoirseC* 
DS#1 derives a lot of pleasure from holding his little brother.

How about letting him hold the baby while sitting down? A comfy chair with plenty of support should be quite safe for them both.


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## Katie T (Nov 8, 2008)

DD 1 was 6 1/2 when DS was born and I let her carry him once he was past the newborn stage. She always did really well. She did trip with him once (was tripped up by someone at a family gathering) but she rolled a bit on the way down to avoid falling on the baby. I was surprised to see that she had that instinct at such a young age. Other than that on time (from which all was fine not a mark on anyone) nothing ever happened.


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## mamadelbosque (Feb 6, 2007)

Well, my ds1 is 3.5 and while he definetly can *not* carry ds2 around, he did get to hold him (w/ our help of course







) when ds2 was 3-6 months old














:d Some super cute pictures
















On the otherhand, one of my friends has a son who I *think* is 9 now and hes definetly been capable of carrying his baby sister around since she was born just shy of a year ago... I think his next oldest brother (I think he's 6, though possibly 5...) is, on the other hand definetly *NOT* capable of carrying baby, but is allowed to hold her occasionally, though tbh, I don't think he's had too much of a desire to do so (I think I"ve only seen him do so a handful of times







)


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## SaoirseC (Jul 17, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *triscuitsmom* 
For my brother he really doesn't have much interest in them, is almost a little scared of them as newborns. Other people in my family get a bit upset by it, but it doesn't bother me at all. It's his comfort level.

Personally I think it's important for everyone to get a little experience with babies. And since I know that he's sexually active, I think it's even more important. It doesn't upset me at all that he doesn't want to hold a babe- I was the same way. It was primarily because I didn't know how to connect with them.


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## ElliesMomma (Sep 21, 2006)

i haven't read all the replies, but i think it's safe DEPENDING on how you instruct your child to do the carry. my DD is only 4, but i have taught her that the ONLY way she is allowed to pick up her brother, who just turned 1, is from behind, with her arms under his armpits, and then clasped across his chest. she is not allowed to just pick him up "willy nilly" -- it is only to be used for a reason, such as he's getting into something that we've already discussed is off limits for him, such as going after the cords behind the TV, or reaching into the toilet.

now... my daughter is very responsible and remembers well when i give her step-by-step instructions and let her practice a few times while i watch.

lately i have even allowed her to take her brother out of the swing when he finishes his nap. (he is only 17 pounds believe it or not -- skinny kid -- and she is 35 pounds, BTW.) the exact sequence of events is that she first turns off the swing so it stops moving, then she unwraps his blanket from around him, then she gets him under the arm pits and carefully lifts him out, then sets him on the floor. i trust her to do this, and it usually happens when i'm right there, anyway, ie, having a quick "respite" nap on the couch.

i actually see these as "low risk" -- if she were to somehow lose her footing and fall over, it would be a low impact fall, they are already so close to the ground, and not running at all. not even walking really.

she is never ever allowed to carry him on the stairs. and probably never ever will be. stairs scare me.

also there is no need for her to carry him all over the place. he walks now, and before that, crawled just fine anywhere he wanted to go.

she knows (but doesn't always respect) that if he starts screaming or shrieking, it means he's not happy, and to put him down immediately.

my 2 cents.

ps: can't remember exactly when i started letting her carry him this way... maybe around 6 months old? or maybe it was when he started standing? so 8 months? not sure exactly. i think you really do have to play it by ear, so to speak, and judge your individual children and their abilities. my DD is very athletic and physically capable.


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## DevaMajka (Jul 4, 2005)

I let ds1 (6yo) carry ds2 around as long as his feet are pointing down. We didn't really let him carry ds2 around until that was an appropriate way to carry him. Ds2 throws himself back if he doesn't want to be picked up, so it's best for ds1 to hold him between his shoulders and waist, with his feet danging, kwim?


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