# Baby Fat - No Baby Problem



## UrbanEarthMom (Jul 20, 2004)

I gained ten pounds during my thirteen week pregnancy. I was doing the Brewer diet to prevent preeclampsia which I had during pregnancy #1 which meant that I was eating like a cavewoman.

I was looking forward to going into maternity clothes but instead I had a miscarriage - now I am just fat. I lost two pounds a few weeks ago but I just gained four over Christmas.

The biggest hurt of all was losing the baby but I feel that this weight is an extra burden to deal with. It just isn't fair.


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## Gray's Mommy (Jul 8, 2005)

I haven't gained any weight with mine, BUT my body totally redistributed what I did have. I have a 4 month pooch & no baby either. It is really frustrating because I, too, thought I would be in maternity clothing, but I am trying to still fit into what I have.







:


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## dylan27 (Sep 3, 2005)

At least exercising should give me something to focus on... it really doesn't seem fair to have the baby fat and no baby. Doesn't seem fair that my c/s scar hasn't even healed all the way yet and he's already gone. Funny, I didn't mind this at all when he was here.
My issue is that I'm still in the slightly post baby phrase where the maternity clothes are a little bit more comfortable than my regular clothes, (definitely still have the tummy) but I can't stand wearing anything right now that reminds me of my baby... need to buy new clothes since dp wants his sweats back, but can't stand going shopping either.

I'm going to work on losing weight and getting healthy though... we haven't decided about another one,but do want to leave the possibility open.

Sorry-- didn't mean to make this thread all about me


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## Barcino (Aug 25, 2004)

I think it is bad both ways. I lost all the pg weight the day he was born - he was full term and I felt like I had not even been pregnant. I went back to regular clothes the next day







I went down 10 lbs further in two weeks. Now I have gained it all back and some out of probably not taking care of myself well because I am grieving. So I have been both places and they both suck. When I was thin I literally was angry because it felt like my pregnancy had not exsited. Now I am bigger and I am sad because I know if I was breasfeeding there is no way I would have gained this weight because I eat so well when I am pregnant or nursing the babies







It sucks all the way around.







Hugs to you mama


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## dziejen (May 23, 2004)

I think it sucks too. I have baby weight and no baby. I bought a pair of jeans today -- my heart is not really in it but I have no clothes and am feeling dumb in big huge pants and all my maternity stuff is too big but my regular clothes are a long way from fitting. Everything about losing a baby sucks bad.


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## littleteapot (Sep 18, 2003)

I'm feeling you...

It's strange for me: I've been chronically underweight all my life and have tried to gain weight for over a decade. I'd tried everything. And I KNOW people will scoff at this but when you're underweight you get just as much discrimination and comments and pain as when you're overweight. Weight problems are equal from both sides... it hurts just the same.
I finally came to terms with my size before I got pregnant with my daughter. Then it opened up this big door for me of "Wow, I can be healthy with baby weight!". But even with 50lbs of weight gain it dropped off almost instantly. Again, I came to terms with it (it took over a year, though).

Just before conceiving Jericho I felt really great about my body. I was over 100lbs, had muscle tone, felt really fantastic. I had an AMAZING pregnancy, gained weight well, ate fantastic, exercised, felt... just overall amazing.
Now I'm 7 weeks past his birth, and death, and the weight is not coming off. I'm not breastfeeding, and not carrying around a 10lb baby 23 hours a day... so nothing is encouraging it. It's the dead of winter outside (-20 or more) and even though I walk every day it's just not touching it.
The c-section made my stomach look strange and I HATE IT SO MUCH. I had a natural birth, I NEVER thought I'd have a c-section. I think I'm still in denial that it ever happened.
I HATE the way the c-section makes my stomach look. I HATE this bit of flub. I HATE being 117lbs even though I've strived for it my entire life. I HATE it ALL. This is the first time I've ever wanted to go back to this miniscule me that I always used to hate so much... because right now I hate this more. I don't think it has anything to do with the weight itself, maybe just what it symbolizes.


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## Gray's Mommy (Jul 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *littleteapot*
I'm feeling you...

I don't think it has anything to do with the weight itself, maybe just what it symbolizes.









for you momma!


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## coralsmom (Apr 1, 2005)

i wanted to share a different feeling that i had regarding my post-pregancy wieght after i had coral. it was something that psychologically kept me linked to when she was with me. i didn't mind it much. i was too depressed and in shock to really care what i looked like (and i am not suggesting that you are or do, just remembering how i felt then...). when my milk came in, it was the same, i didn't mind, it was related to coral's presence in my body, and the remnants of the phisiological process was as important to me as growing big with her. my sisters were frantically emailing me with ways to stop the milk, but that was the last thing i wanted. when some time passed, i was back to my normal weight. that bothered me. it really did feel like it never happened. and when we decided to ttc, i was torn... i wanted to be thinner, but i didn't want to mess up my cycles. i looked in the mirror and wanted at the same time to look pregnant and to look thin. i felt totally out of control of my body, and it was a reflection of how i felt about my life in general.

i think that because our babies are not with us, it seems as though we are separated from the nautral process that our very individual bodies go through with a pregnancy, but really we are not. we were pregnant, and the weight was supposed to be there. it is frustrating not having the natural weight loss associated with breastfeeding, that is a hard reality of the loss.

and i can't agree more. it sucks.


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## UrbanEarthMom (Jul 20, 2004)

It does add insult to injury. Just another issue to add stress to the whole situation. I just spent a lot of $ today of some clothes that I need but I hope I won't need for very long.

I think people have noticed my weight gain and have asked if we were planning to have more children. I swear to God that I was asked that question about 6 times in the week after my D & C. I will never never ask that question to anyone again!


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