# Reasons that our babies did not survive...



## KinseysMom (Sep 7, 2008)

I wanted to get answers of why other womens babies did not survive at birth. They still do not know why our daughter did not survive. The preliminary finding that the pathologist is looking into is a surfactant deficiency. Has anyone else had this issue come up?
Our daughter never took a breath at birth, she wasn't even able to have air bagged into her lungs. I am a Pediatric ICU nurse, and not knowing why is driving me crazy. I was told my our pathologist that she did not see a reason that she thought we couldn't have a healthy baby...but I am already worried.
We want to TTC again soon, its just that I wish I knew what happened to Kinsey first. We did have an autopsy done, and are still waiting results.
Please let me know your reasons, and if you have any insight on surfactant deficiencys.
Thank you all in advance.


----------



## KinseysMom (Sep 7, 2008)

By the way, I meant to also tell you that Kinsey was a full term 38 week baby.
Thanks.


----------



## jennifer_lc1 (Sep 8, 2007)

i have no answers for you, i just wanted to say youre in my thoughts and bless your precious baby.


----------



## Erikajo (Apr 30, 2006)

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how difficult it must be.








I truly hope you can find some answers. I think not knowing would drive me crazy too.


----------



## ladybug732 (Apr 29, 2008)

mama. I'm sorry I don't have any specific information related to the condition you mentioned, and my daughter passed before birth. But I did want to recommend that you do wait until you get the autopsy back before TTC. We weren't expecting to find out anything, but instead we learned that our daughter passed due to a Group B Strep infection. She somehow got the infection through intact membranes. It is incredibly rare, but as we learned, it does happened. Because we weren't expecting to find anything, it was a big shock and the news really hit me hard. I had a lot of processing and new grieving to do. I know you want answers, and I think it's a good idea to seek them, but I wanted to mention that having the answer will not necessarily make you feel better. In my case, I felt worse, and no matter what they find, the knowledge won't bring your baby back, and that is what hurts the most.

I'm not trying to be a downer, and hopefully you will get results and feel some peace. Some people do. But I mention all this because I felt slapped upside the head with the news, and no one seems to understand why it doesn't make me feel better. Either way, please keep us posted. We're here for you.

Hugs,
Kathleen








Kinsey


----------



## kate3 (May 4, 2007)

I'm very sorry for your loss.

I had a second trimester demise (just prior to viability), so my situation is a little different. I am also a RN (ob/gyn) so I definitely empathize with how hard it is to not have a reason.

I had the million dollar work-up: chromosomes, TORCH titers, antibody titers, and blood work for everything from thyroid storm to diabetes to PIH/HELLP syndrome. Everything was completely normal, except for my dead baby. The final answer: sometimes bad things happen to good people.

I did go on to have another baby who was completely healthy. I begged for an induction at 38 weeks and my OB was kind enough to agree. At that point all I could think about was that every day I stayed pregnant was another chance for the baby to die.

It totally sucks to not know. Take care of yourself.


----------



## Mamax3 (Nov 21, 2001)

My baby was a second trimester loss (18 weeks), so a bit different than your full term loss. My baby had a chromosomal condition with multiple physical abnormalities that weren't compatible with life. I am an RN too (labor/delivery) so I know the need to have the definative answers. Thankfully I have answers, but I know many mamas don't and I think that must be so hard.

I am thinking of you.


----------



## RMG (Sep 15, 2008)

Kate3 and Mamax3 - can you both explain to me your second trimester losses ? How did you know you had lost your baby ? Was there any warning ?

I'm very new to this forum. I've been reading for the past couple of weeks and just signed up tonight.

I very recently had a second trimester loss.

For me this is all so raw still.

I went for a regular prenanal appt at 24 weeks gestation on August 13th.
The doctor could not find a hearbeat.
I went to the hospital, and they did an ultrasound. No heartbeat, no movement.
And no idea why this happened.

I had a perfectly uneventful pregnancy. No complaints. And perfect 19 week ultrasound. And even heard the baby's heartbeat one week later at my 20 week appointment.

So something happened between 20 wks and 24 weeks. But I have no idea what or why.

I had no indication that anything was wrong at all. NO cramping or bleeding. No physical ailments at all. Feeling perfectly healthy.

How often do you see something like that though ???

Most stories I read there is cramping or bleeding. My story is so different.
And I'm so confused.

I have NO IDEA what they tested me for while I was in the hospital. I know I had a ton of tests done, and even requested an autopsy.

My follow up appointment is early October. I hope and PRAY for results.


----------



## Mamax3 (Nov 21, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RMG* 
Kate3 and Mamax3 - can you both explain to me your second trimester losses ? How did you know you had lost your baby ? Was there any warning ?

RMG, I PM'd you.


----------



## kate3 (May 4, 2007)

Quote:

Kate3 and Mamax3 - can you both explain to me your second trimester losses ? How did you know you had lost your baby ? Was there any warning ?
For me, no warning and I was caught off guard completely. It was right around the time that you can just start to feel fetal movement, so not feeling anything wasn't necessarily abnormal.

I'm a NP (OB/GYN) and the office I worked in had a u/s tech. She offered to scan me (I wanted to know the sex and I hadn't had my offical scan yet). She was the one who told me my baby had died. It was the absolute last thing I expected to hear. I was at work and completely numb. My husband picked me up and we went to have a confirmatory sono done with a radiologist. Two days prior I had a routine prenatal visit and everything was fine-heard the heartbeat, etc.


----------



## RMG (Sep 15, 2008)

Thank you for replying ladies.

kate3 - our stories sound very similar.

Pretty well word for word almost - with regards to no warning. And the complete shock of it all.


----------



## Dalene (Apr 14, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KinseysMom* 
I wanted to get answers of why other womens babies did not survive at birth. They still do not know why our daughter did not survive. The preliminary finding that the pathologist is looking into is a surfactant deficiency. Has anyone else had this issue come up?
Our daughter never took a breath at birth, she wasn't even able to have air bagged into her lungs. I am a Pediatric ICU nurse, and not knowing why is driving me crazy. I was told my our pathologist that she did not see a reason that she thought we couldn't have a healthy baby...but I am already worried.
We want to TTC again soon, its just that I wish I knew what happened to Kinsey first. We did have an autopsy done, and are still waiting results.
Please let me know your reasons, and if you have any insight on surfactant deficiencys.
Thank you all in advance.

Many hugs to you. It is so hard to wait for all the follow-up that happens. Have you heard about the results yet?

It was first thought that something was wrong with my son's lungs, because they didn't inflate when they tried to resuscitate. The neonatologist described his lungs as heavy and congested. We know now that his lungs were full of blood...he was too far gone when he was born. After an autopsy, genetic workup, blood work, discussions with the midwives and OB, a hospital review, and consultation with specialists, the only possible explanation for Baker's death is that his cord was somehow caught or compressed, a hidden cord prolapse. There was some possibility at one point that I may have had a chronic abruption that resulted in low fluid (this was concluded from his lung tissue slides), but no one agrees with that b/c Baker was fullterm, of normal weight, my water broke in labor, I leaked clear fluid during labor, and there was no blood "hiding" when the C/S was performed. It was the speed with which he went from healthy to gone that remains mind-boggling to everyone. As I'm sure you know, babies normally tolerate heart rate changes in labor-in fact the majority of labors have that very same pattern-and are born healthy and alive.


----------



## Dalene (Apr 14, 2008)

Kinsey'sMom, did your daughter have a heartbeat when she was born? I'm asking because my son at first was believed to have lung problems, but the lung issues were a separate problem from why his heart stopped beating in the first place. It's been so hard working through the various scenarios.


----------



## JenMidwife (Oct 4, 2005)

I my baby died because he was too premature, I had preterm labor because of a sub-chorionic hemmorhage.

KinseysMom, I am a RN & a midwife. In many ways it was a blessing to have a greater understanding of what was going on at the time (& after) than alay person, but in some ways it is definitely a curse. That reel in my head that plays over & over about "what if we would have tried this or why didn't they do that differently" is very difficult indeed

I hope you get some answers


----------



## Cuddlebaby (Jan 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ladybug732* 







mama. I'm sorry I don't have any specific information related to the condition you mentioned, and my daughter passed before birth. But I did want to recommend that you do wait until you get the autopsy back before TTC. We weren't expecting to find out anything, but instead we learned that our daughter passed due to a Group B Strep infection. She somehow got the infection through intact membranes. It is incredibly rare, but as we learned, it does happened. Because we weren't expecting to find anything, it was a big shock and the news really hit me hard. I had a lot of processing and new grieving to do. I know you want answers, and I think it's a good idea to seek them, but I wanted to mention that having the answer will not necessarily make you feel better. In my case, I felt worse, and no matter what they find, the knowledge won't bring your baby back, and that is what hurts the most.

I'm not trying to be a downer, and hopefully you will get results and feel some peace. Some people do. But I mention all this because I felt slapped upside the head with the news, and no one seems to understand why it doesn't make me feel better. Either way, please keep us posted. We're here for you.

Hugs,
Kathleen








Kinsey









firstly huge hugs to the both of you!

how did she get any infection through intact membranes? that's impossible isn't it?


----------



## KinseysMom (Sep 7, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ladybug732* 







mama. I'm sorry I don't have any specific information related to the condition you mentioned, and my daughter passed before birth. But I did want to recommend that you do wait until you get the autopsy back before TTC. We weren't expecting to find out anything, but instead we learned that our daughter passed due to a Group B Strep infection. She somehow got the infection through intact membranes. It is incredibly rare, but as we learned, it does happened. Because we weren't expecting to find anything, it was a big shock and the news really hit me hard. I had a lot of processing and new grieving to do. I know you want answers, and I think it's a good idea to seek them, but I wanted to mention that having the answer will not necessarily make you feel better. In my case, I felt worse, and no matter what they find, the knowledge won't bring your baby back, and that is what hurts the most.

I'm not trying to be a downer, and hopefully you will get results and feel some peace. Some people do. But I mention all this because I felt slapped upside the head with the news, and no one seems to understand why it doesn't make me feel better. Either way, please keep us posted. We're here for you.

Hugs,
Kathleen








Kinsey









I have been getting some results back from my pathologist... and although I was Group B Strep +, Kinsey did not have any type of infection. I received 2 doses of PCN before and during delivery so that she would not contract the infection.
I'm so sad to hear that your daughter got Group B, I don't know if I even really want to know what happened.
My husband and I are talking about TTC again, and its scary. We are determined to try though...for us and for Kinsey.


----------



## gratefulbambina (Mar 20, 2005)

I am so sorry for your loss







.

Not knowing has worn down on me as well some days and brings on other fears. In most cases of stillbirth unfortunately we are left with the unknowing.
I'm glad you found a wonderful group of woman that will help you through this and a bunch of shoulders to cry on.


----------



## mrsfatty (Dec 21, 2004)

I had the "million dollar workup" as someone earlier put it. And nothing was wrong with me.

I had a second trimester loss. There was nothing wrong with the baby--she had no chromosomal abnormalities.

My water broke spontaneously...and I lost my baby for no reason. I've since carried a baby to full term (so it wasn't my cervix either)...I hate when it seems as though there is "no reason"...it really hurts that these things just happen sometimes...it's so not fair.


----------

