# low risk mom-stillborn?



## mamabuck (Jul 16, 2009)

I'm new here. I've been reading around the posts for several weeks now. I lost at 30 weeks my sweet baby Jolene. I have two children, uneventful pregnancies, healthy births. My third was with Jolene. I am 32, I am low risk, never miscarried before, not high BP, not GD, nothing that makes me "high risk." So my doctor treated me that way, but my dear baby was high risk, and she died in my belly, and I don't have answers. Shouldn't there be a way for low risk moms to save thier babies before it's too late, shouldn't there be a way to tell us something is wrong? Kick counts need to be emphasized even earlier than 28 weeks!! Maybe a third trimester scan? What can be done to help others? I feel my dr. rushed through all of my appointments and would say everything looked normal when I told him that her movement slowed down, way down... I just don't understand...thanks to all of you mamas for your thoughts and also I am so sorry, so deeply sorry for all of your lost babes and dreams. 25,000+ stillbirths is just too many...


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## Amy&4girls (Oct 30, 2006)

I am so sorry for the loss of your precious Jolene.


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## girlygirl707 (Apr 23, 2009)

Sorry for the loss of your precious daughter Jolene. I too lost my daughter after a healthy uneventful pregnancy (1st pregnancy). Just like you, when I look back I felt kinda rushed in the Dr. office and no one emphasized or mentioned anything about kick counts. I lost my daughter to a cord accident and 2 days prior her heart rate was fine. I do agree that more could be done in the 3rd tri to prevent issues. I had one quick NST at 36 w and an ultrasound at 6w and 20w. I will not be considered high risk next time around unless something else arises. In some weird way I WANT to be high risk so I can stay calm and feel more infromed. One way I have found healing is by informing anyone around me from my own experience. I also informed my Dr. to encourage more kick counting. Keeping you in my thoughts. Stay strong and be sure to voice your concerns to your OB!







Jolene


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## Manessa (Feb 24, 2003)

I am so sorry for your loss.
















Jolene


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## SMR (Dec 21, 2004)

I'm so sorry Jolene is not in your arms.
You are SO right.. too many babies die. I was low risk too.. never had a single complaint and certainly never thought anything so horrible could happen to me. I'll never understand why or how this happens.


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## NullSet (Dec 19, 2004)

I'm so sorry.







It's one of those things, no one wants to 'scare' the pregnant ladies. Which sucks, because then you become one of those statistics on the other side of 'oh, it will never happen to me.' Stillbirth is such a mystery even to doctors.

If you ever feel like sharing your little Jolene with us we would love to hear about her.


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## Jules09 (Feb 11, 2009)

I'm so sorry for your loss. My doctor also never mentioned kick counts. Even when I went to the hospital for reduced movement, it was 7 hours before Lachlan was born, even though I hadn't felt him kick that whole time I was there, and his ultrasound score was 4/8. It's so hard not to think about what might have happened if things had been a little different. I'm so sorry your sweet Jolene isn't in your arms.








Jolene


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## calmom (Aug 11, 2002)

I'm so sorry! Unfortunately, I totally understand the 'not understanding'. For days and weeks after Matthew died, I kept saying, "I don't understand, I don't understand". Somewhere I thought that if I understood it all somehow, then I would be ok. Well, I still don't understand it 7 weeks later but that intense desire to know HOW on earth this could have happened to me is starting to wane a bit.

I didn't know about kick counting either. I had wonderful midwives who never rushed me through an appointment yet they didn't encourage me to do kick counting. I can't help but wonder if I had placed closer attention to his movements, would he still be here with me today? I don't know but I do know that I will do daily kick counts with a future pregnancy.

I'm not sure but I just assumed that the reason they start at 28 weeks is because if something happens any earlier than that, the baby would not have much chance to survive anyway. I'm not sure, just what I assumed.

I'm so sorry you lost your sweet little Jolene. I don't know if you have any pictures of her but it helped me to share my birth story and a few pictures of my Matthew with these lovely ladies here. I'm sure she was just beautiful.


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## namaste_mom (Oct 21, 2005)

Jolene

I'm so sorry for the loss of your little one. I dont' know why this keeps happening. I hope you can find some support here.

Peace and Strength, D.


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## MI_Dawn (Jun 30, 2005)

Yes, mama. Yes, much much more needs to be done, in both prevention and awareness... and, too, in education.

The good news is, there is actually a bill in congress submitted just a few days ago that you can encourage your congressmen to back. Check out this thread.

If we don't speak up, it's never going to change. There is no one else... the mamas who haven't lost little ones or who haven't been touched by the experience in some way, just don't know. And yes... they need to know. They need to be as aware of stillbirth as we are of SIDS and how to prevent it if we can.

The statistic that still shocks me is that even if kick counts saved just 10% of stillborn babies... that's like saving ALL of the babies who died of SIDS every year. That's enormous. And so very very worth it.

I'm so sorry about your little Jolene. What a gorgeous name for a beautiful girl.







:


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## somanyjoys (Mar 14, 2006)

So sorry for your loss. It is so hard. I had a normal first pregnancy and then lost a baby boy at 20 weeks, too. Even at my last appt at 18 weeks, my doc listened to the heartbeat and said everything was ¨perfect.¨ I even mentioned not feeling much movement. I do not think anything could have been done in my case, though. It is something that happened. I delivered my stillborn baby boy January 11, 2008. Right now I am nursing my perfect baby girl born January 8, 2009. You can certainly have a healthy pregnancy again.


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## alexsam (May 10, 2005)

I think the reason they don't encourage kick counts before 27/28 weeks is because the baby still has a lot of room to turn, they can often and easily float/turn facing the placenta or the back and you wouldn't feel them then (I called my OB once during this early time upset from not feeling a lot of movement and this is what he told me...). A litte fetus also has to kick mighty hard in the right spots to be felt.


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## Almondhome (Jul 30, 2009)

I'm new here too, and lost our baby boy Hirsch about 1 month ago (July 18). We planned a home birth, for what was our first, and uneventful pregnancy. I first realized I wasn't feeling him move much, but then our midwife got a heartbeat, and I was (falsely) re-assured that everything must be fine, that the movements are slowing down because he was getting big. Another week later he was gone.
We went to the hospital to confirm with u/s. They did all blood work which came out fine, so we went home, and induced at home with all sorts of natural remedies, including acupuncture, castor oil, herbs, homeopathics, and a little gentle "stripping of membranes".
It worked. We had Hirsch 2 days later peacefully at home after a great labor and wonderful birth. He was almost 4lbs, right on target.
We're not sure but it was probably a cord accident + there was velamentous cord insertion.
His due date is approaching. We'd love to try again sooner rather than later.

I do think kick counts are important, as is telling people about the fact that stillbirth is a part of all birth.

I can't emphasize how important it has been for me to have at least had a smooth vaginal delivery and experience a beautiful birth. I realize not everyone can do that due to emergency stillbirth situations. I just wanted to share my experience here, since I'm a fan of mothering and was really looking forward to joining the community.

Thanks for reading.

Love and lots of blessings to you all.


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## Manessa (Feb 24, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Almondhome* 
I'm new here too, and lost our baby boy Hirsch about 1 month ago (July 18). We planned a home birth, for what was our first, and uneventful pregnancy. I first realized I wasn't feeling him move much, but then our midwife got a heartbeat, and I was (falsely) re-assured that everything must be fine, that the movements are slowing down because he was getting big. Another week later he was gone.
We went to the hospital to confirm with u/s. They did all blood work which came out fine, so we went home, and induced at home with all sorts of natural remedies, including acupuncture, castor oil, herbs, homeopathics, and a little gentle "stripping of membranes".
It worked. We had Hirsch 2 days later peacefully at home after a great labor and wonderful birth. He was almost 4lbs, right on target.
We're not sure but it was probably a cord accident + there was velamentous cord insertion.
His due date is approaching. We'd love to try again sooner rather than later.

I do think kick counts are important, as is telling people about the fact that stillbirth is a part of all birth.

I can't emphasize how important it has been for me to have at least had a smooth vaginal delivery and experience a beautiful birth. I realize not everyone can do that due to emergency stillbirth situations. I just wanted to share my experience here, since I'm a fan of mothering and was really looking forward to joining the community.

Thanks for reading.

Love and lots of blessings to you all.

I'm sorry for the loss of your sweet boy.
















Hirsch


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## Amy&4girls (Oct 30, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Almondhome* 
I'm new here too, and lost our baby boy Hirsch about 1 month ago (July 18). We planned a home birth, for what was our first, and uneventful pregnancy. I first realized I wasn't feeling him move much, but then our midwife got a heartbeat, and I was (falsely) re-assured that everything must be fine, that the movements are slowing down because he was getting big. Another week later he was gone.
We went to the hospital to confirm with u/s. They did all blood work which came out fine, so we went home, and induced at home with all sorts of natural remedies, including acupuncture, castor oil, herbs, homeopathics, and a little gentle "stripping of membranes".
It worked. We had Hirsch 2 days later peacefully at home after a great labor and wonderful birth. He was almost 4lbs, right on target.
We're not sure but it was probably a cord accident + there was velamentous cord insertion.
His due date is approaching. We'd love to try again sooner rather than later.

I do think kick counts are important, as is telling people about the fact that stillbirth is a part of all birth.

I can't emphasize how important it has been for me to have at least had a smooth vaginal delivery and experience a beautiful birth. I realize not everyone can do that due to emergency stillbirth situations. I just wanted to share my experience here, since I'm a fan of mothering and was really looking forward to joining the community.

Thanks for reading.

Love and lots of blessings to you all.

I am so sorry for the loss of your precious Hirsch.


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## MI_Dawn (Jun 30, 2005)

: Sweet little Hirsch.







:

I'm so sorry. I hope you had and continue to have lots of love and support around you. I'm glad you had him at home.


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## Asiago (Jul 1, 2009)

I am so very sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

My friend had a still born baby at 32 weeks. She had already had one healthy son. At first her medical providers could not find the cause then one doctor thought perhaps it was due to protein c or s. That did turn out to be the case and she was treated during the next pregnancy and had a successful outcome.

I just can't imagine the loss for you, her, or the many other moms.
Just want you to know my heart is with you.

I have been doing kick counts now since 28 weeks, because that's what the literature reccomends for low risk pregnancy, but it does mention to start at 24 weeks for high risk. Maybe they should change it to 24 weeks for all.


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## LizaBear (Feb 1, 2003)

I'm very sorry for the loss of your Jolene.

I'm still very much in the "why" stage myself, after losing my Jesse at 23 weeks.

He'd have been my 4th child.

My first three were uneventful, relatively easy pregnancies, with no major hiccups or issues, easy deliveries, so on.

I don't smoke, don't drink, don't indulge in any recreational products. I am overweight, but that's not a new thing - I have been for all my pregnancies. My blood pressure was good (though it's still elevated a bit since having Jesse).


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## Zan&Zav (Nov 25, 2006)

(QUOTE)I can't emphasize how important it has been for me to have at least had a smooth vaginal delivery and experience a beautiful birth. I realize not everyone can do that due to emergency stillbirth situations. I just wanted to share my experience here, since I'm a fan of mothering and was really looking forward to joining the community. (quote)

this is a wonderful community, and you are still a mother and we would love if you still join the community. I'm so sorry for your loss, and i hope you find lots of support here.


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## Vespertina (Sep 30, 2006)

I'm so very sorry, Almond. My heart goes out to you and yours, mama.







:














It's nice to see you were able to have a nice birth experience at home. I regret not staying home. I would have preferred that.








Hirsch


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## ladyjools (May 25, 2009)

(((((hugs))))))) im so sorry for your loss,
i think a third trimsestor US would be a good idea, i know here in UK we do those a lot but thats mostly just to see what position the baby is in before birth

i hope you do get some answers
Jools


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