# 7yo ds is unduly fascinated with my breasts...



## brightonwoman (Mar 27, 2007)

The title pretty much sums it up. My 7yo son has recently shown a fascination with my breasts. He always wants to touch them, especially if he sees me nursing (which happens a lot of course). Yesterday I was hugging him and he slipped his hands around inside the hug and full out groped me. Now I appreciate a certain amount of normal curiosity, but he's old enough that he's making me very uncomfortable. He's too young for puberty-related curiosity, and when he was 3 we went through the whole gender identity thing (he was curious about them then too, but he wasn't sly about it like he is being now).
It occured to me that maybe he saw daddy cop a feel or something (daddy's a boob man, what can I say,







) but when I told ds that I did not want him to touch me there because it made me feel uncomfortable, he seemed very annoyed and persisted in it anyway until I actually moved his hands myself. It's really awkward.
I'm not sure if this is part of it, but I am not his bio mom...dh is his bio dad, his bio mom left when ds was an infant...dh was a single dad for 3 years and then I married in and adopted him, so I've been mom for 4.5 years now, and am the only mom he's ever really known.
Please tell me this has happened to other moms! Advice would be nice, but more than that even I just want to know that my kid isn't nuts for this fascination and that I'm not nuts for being bothered by it!


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## almama (Mar 22, 2003)

It sounds to me as if you need some more information. It could be a zillion things, most of them innocent. The worst I could think of is that he saw someone else groping someone at school . . .dunno.

You might want to sit with him over a cup of tea and say, "You wanted to touch my breasts, what's up with that?" and try to pull out any issues.

I see you have a lot of littles around and he may be curious about them touching your breasts, and honesty, they are soft and squishy and he may have just been curious and had no idea it was disrespectful to you.

My 7yo is a lot of things - at times impulsive and not respecting body boundaries with his brothers, but he is not sexual yet (hopefully not for a LONG time) so I would doubt it had any sexual meaning.


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## MPsSweetie (Jan 29, 2006)

Hmmm, I don't know. My boy is only 13 months, but he sure does love them,








He saw me undressing today and came over to nuzzle them!! He didn't really want to nurse, just rub his head between them.
But you know what? They pretty and soft and warm, I like them too


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## mistymama (Oct 12, 2004)

My 5 year old has done this a few times. It's really awkward! He points out my breasts when I get out of the shower and has tried to touch them a few times.

I usually just laugh it off (make light of it) and tell him breasts are for feeding babies .. I'll usually tell him a story of how when he was smaller my breasts made milk and fed him. But now he's bigger and they don't make milk anymore. I also kindly tell him not to touch them.









I figure it's just a stage and like anything else being open and honest while setting a boundary I feel comforable with is best.

My DF gets more wiered out by it than I do. He told me the other day I need to wear a shirt to bed so DS wont see my breasts in the morning. I told him I'm not sacrificing my comfort so DS wont see breasts.


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## tm2840 (Feb 23, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mistymama* 
I figure it's just a stage and like anything else being open and honest while setting a boundary I feel comforable with is best.

It wasn't until I read your post that I realized that my nearly 8 year old son hasn't made me uncomfortable recently in terms of breasts. Don't know if it's normal or not, but he definitely had a period of time that it seemed (to ME) to be excessive, (again to ME) perhaps budding-sexual interest in my breasts. And I had to work very hard to keep from making HIM uncomfortable when I (intellectually) thought that what he was doing was probably developmentally normal.

I don't remember the exact timeline, but DD was either still nursing or had recently weaned during the time that he was most fascinated.


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## amcal (Jan 13, 2003)

I think he's old enough to sit down and have a talk. I think it's hugely important for him to understand boundaries in regards to touching other people's bodies so I would have a talk about it.


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## Kleine Hexe (Dec 2, 2001)

Here's a story my 7 yr old (well in two weeks) told me today.

"Once upon a time there was an elevator and me. The elevator had lots of buttons. I pushed the button on the roof and the elevator went 'poof'. There was smoke everywhere, and the elevator turned into a grown up girl. Then her breasts grew and grew and grew until they were almost as big as the earth. Her nipples got much more bigger than Daddy. So then she walked around and every time her nipple touched a person, the person got sucked up into it. Her breasts sucked up all the people on earth. Then her belly got really really big and 'poof' she had a really big baby. Then she nursed the baby cause the baby was big enough to suck on her big nipples. The end."

Breast fascination anyone?


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## BusyMommy (Nov 20, 2001)

OMG







: That is an awesome story! What a cool kid. I bet she's a famous writer someday w/that vivid imagination.


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## Nature (Mar 12, 2005)

My dd is 9, and I'd say its been the past year that she's gotten over her fascination.. but she used to be very "gropey" with me. She would sneak feels in, right down to making honking noises sometimes. (_where_ did she ever hear that one anyway??







: ) My attitude was pretty much to downplay it. I didn't "allow" it, but I just got an annoyed look on my face and said, "Alright dd, enough. Please don't touch me like that." and she'd usually giggle and stop.

Usually now if the subject of breasts comes up, she makes a joke about mine or somehow tries to talk about them and we just brush it off. Its the whole entering puberty so I have no idea how this makes people uncomfortable yet sorta thing. Her day is coming!









So anyway, I'd say its pretty normal. He's a boy and even younger.. so even MORE normal! LOL


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## UmmSamiyah (Aug 12, 2003)

that story was cute!

But for your DS, mine is 5 and he still gets "gropey" when he needs a hug or some extra attention. I have explained to him that breasts are for feeding and he understands that. It is particularly difficult right now because we have to sleep in the same bed so he likes to sleep with his hand down my shirt. Maybe instead of bringing it up when he tries it again, let him know honestly how it makes you feel. and ask him what's up. maybe he wants to tell you something or just needs to be close to you.


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## Jenelle (Mar 12, 2004)

Wow, just want to say you're not nuts for being bothered by it! I have 3 boys, and at no point in time has it been or will it ever be okay for them to grope my breasts. Same would apply to girls. Especially if I had already said that I didn't want to be touched there and that it made me uncomfortable!

I understand that there are "stages" and "normal curiousity" but it comes down to a *respect* issue when he is _annoyed_ and _persistent_ about it. It is time for him to learn about what is appropriate and what is not. It is YOUR body, not his.


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## quest4mom (Nov 8, 2007)

If it makes you uncomfortable, then you have a right to try to correct the behavior. We might all have different boundaries as parents, but our children need to know what they are and learn to respect them. He might grow out of it on his own or he might get more aggessive as he gets older or even worse start grabbing other boobs.


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## Nature (Mar 12, 2005)

Honestly. Its a normal kid thing. I highly doubt that children learn behaviors like grabbing other peoples breasts inappropriately because they groped their mothers too much.

If it bothers you, find ways to redirect. If older, talk to them about how it makes you feel. But don't read too much into it. Its a comfort issue, not a sexual issue. And as long as _you_ don't make it out to be sexual, it won't be.


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## chfriend (Aug 29, 2002)

My dd (7) does this. She doesn't go around grabbing anyone elses' boobs, so I doubt it'll turn into some lifelong groping problem.

Thanks for your thread. I'm feeling a little more in the middle of the bell curve now!


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## mistymama (Oct 12, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *quest4mom* 
If it makes you uncomfortable, then you have a right to try to correct the behavior. We might all have different boundaries as parents, but our children need to know what they are and learn to respect them. He might grow out of it on his own or he might get more aggessive as he gets older or even worse start grabbing other boobs.

Ok, this made me giggle. For some reason I totally tried to picture my 5 year old as an agressive bobbie-grabber and it made me







:


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## PennyRoo (Dec 7, 2004)

My 5.5 yo DD is obsessed with my breasts as well. When falling asleep she will often say, "please can I hold your boobie? It will make me so sleepy." I let her, but my boundary is that her hands stay on the outside of my shirt. Lately (I am pg) her interest seems to be escalating a bit. When I'm changing she settles herself on my bed with this pleased expression to watch me (reminds me of the look DH gets on his face when starting up a favorite DVD and relaxing on the couch!). She will say things like, "Mummy, what a pretty bra!" or, when in a rowdier mood, start bouncing on the bed shouting things like "I love your boobies, they are so squishy and lovely and beautiful and I just have a crush on them!" She talks daily about how she is excited to nurse when the baby comes and just seems to have this huge fascination with them. My reactions range from amused to annoyed to uncomfortable. I'm steeling myself for an out and out fetish after her sibling arrives and she sees me nursing.


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## Kleine Hexe (Dec 2, 2001)

How about this one....

I was in a store with my boys (6 and 3) and we were in the underwear section. I was looking for a new bra. I hear my boys making sounds like "aahh and oohh." So I turn and look. There is a female maniquin displaying a matching underwear set. My 3 yr old was stretching his arms up and was feeling the "nuknuks" and my 6 yr old was rubbing his hands on the butt. Nothing like seeing your two sons feeling up a plastic woman! My DH and my Dad cracked up when I told them.


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## UmmSamiyah (Aug 12, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kleine Hexe* 
How about this one....

I was in a store with my boys (6 and 3) and we were in the underwear section. I was looking for a new bra. I hear my boys making sounds like "aahh and oohh." So I turn and look. There is a female maniquin displaying a matching underwear set. My 3 yr old was stretching his arms up and was feeling the "nuknuks" and my 6 yr old was rubbing his hands on the butt. Nothing like seeing your two sons feeling up a plastic woman! My DH and my Dad cracked up when I told them.


laughup


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## quest4mom (Nov 8, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mistymama* 
Ok, this made me giggle. For some reason I totally tried to picture my 5 year old as an agressive bobbie-grabber and it made me







:

I was mostly joking and I laughed as well when I thought about a 7 year old going around grabbing breasts at the grocery store. Now if some strange kid grabbed mine then he better look out.


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## woo27ks (Jan 15, 2003)

I agree that if it makes you uncomfortable, then you need to stop the behavior. I don't think it's ok for my kids to just come up and touch me wherever they want to. Respect for personal space is important - for all of us.

Everyone's comfort level is different. I stopped undressing in front of my ds when he was around 5. I remember a time when I couldn't imagine it making me uncomfortable - then one day it did - so I stopped doing it.


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## MommytoB (Jan 18, 2006)

he's just curious of what his sibling is drinking i would explain boobies make milk til they done drinking . when both hubby and sibling are able to touch boobies he may thought it's okay might have been playful -if he can sit down and listen without zoning out to a talk -I would say explain boobies are meant for babies who can't eat food like mcdonalds or pizza . For the groping from your dh I bet he gropes your butt because he gropes the boobs -I would say boobies are also only for daddies -not for kids who ride the bus. I would try to get your dh to do the groping without your ds seeing but if not maybe above would work so many ppl tickle my boy and he doesn;t like it but he says no til he's sulking and then he wonders why he can't touchy feel other people


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