# How do you dress your kids?



## Emilie (Dec 23, 2003)

Just curious.
Some moms are all about the kids looking nice in public- outfits matching down to the shoes and socks- hair nicely done( matching hair stuff for the girls) etc.
And some do not give a care- and nothing matches- hair is not brushed- etc.

Where do you fall?
I must say I am somewhere in the middle. I would love it if ds looked put together alot of the time... but I am also pracitcal- and hectic- his hair is never brushed and his socks may not match...and I got him these cute outfits to make it easy- well that would be great if I ever had each peice washed at the same time!


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## Louma (Mar 30, 2005)

:

My dd is a fashion plate--matching hair bows and all. She just got two new dresses for $1.75 and $2.00 yesterday at a resale place. They are super cute, but I'll admit to being bugged because neither matches her sandals.


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## UnschoolnMa (Jun 14, 2004)

My kids have dressed themselves for a number of years now, but even when I dressed them (or when my role was much bigger at least lol...) I was never the "must be color cordinated and have perfect hair" kind of mom. I dressed them in knits, denim, one piece outfits, mix-n-match cotton seperates, overalls, sandals, hikers, tennis shoes, and just ... whatever we were given or found we liked.

We got dirty and we had many holes & rips over the years. Ds had long hair till he was about 5 and he often wore it in a braid, but sometimes he didn't even brush it lol. Dd wouldn't ever wear the cute hair things in her hair as a toddler, but she likes some of that now (at 11.5). At this point they have their own unique clothing likes and dislikes and other than offering my opinion sometimes I am out of it. Which is good... I have enough trouble deciding what to wear for myself somedays.


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## JamesMama (Jun 1, 2005)

I'm in the middle too. But I must admitt, I love buying clothes for DS. He wears mostly Old Navy and Childrens Place, and I usually buy outfit sets, and I'm pretty obsessive about making sure he wears them together. As for hair, mine doesn't have any...LOL. And he wears white socks no matter what.


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## BusyMommy (Nov 20, 2001)

They're 2 & 4 and they're totally on their own. I don't even argue re: pants vs shorts but will bring along some shorts b/c they always change their minds once we're out in the sun.

I do prefer really bright colors so I can spot them easily. :LOL They're quite active and quick little fellers. So, I stock their drawers w/reds and oranges.


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## FreeThinkinMama (Aug 3, 2004)

If we're leaving the house or someone is coming over she's dressed up, everything matches, hair in pigtails with cute little bows, and matching shoes ect. She won't wear socks though, she just rips them off, not sure what I'll do about that this winter. But she loves her shoes, she has a serious shoe fetish :LOL not sure where she gets that from since I only have 2 pairs but every time she sees a pair of shoes she wants to look at them and try them on. Most of her outfits are dressy or actual dresses, I buy most of her clothes second hand but don't get anything that's stained or ripped or anything.

I grew up with next to nothing and wearing rags constantly, I was teased because of it and I guess I just don't want her to go through that. Rationally I tell myself we're going to homeschool anyway so it's not as big of an issue but I want her to have more then I did either way and end up going overboard, partly because everything I buy is so cheap(I pay anywhere from a quarter to a couple dollars usually per peice).


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## Dechen (Apr 3, 2004)

Top and bottoms must match, but hair tends to be wild and I don't bother with socks.

ETA - by match I don't mean every last thing is a matching set, just that I don't put things together that don't coordinate well.


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## MamaBug (Jun 13, 2003)

My boys are 5 & 7 and well.... I usually dress them very nicely and I try not to leave the house without their hair done, including gel for the older one. Sometimes they dress themselves and they look like a horror to me and I say Screw it and out we go.:LOL But most of the time when they pick out their clothes they do ok. My 7 yr old likes to dress nicely and he usually picks something good and if I tell him the shirt does not match ( which is rare since he has mostly jeans and khakis) he will change. Also I only buy them white socks so even if they are not the same white sock no one but I will know. I am a bit of a coordinating freak myself and I admit that I like them to look put together especially if we are going somewhere important, around the house or yard they are ok in whatever they feel like wearing.


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## Mom4tot (Apr 18, 2003)

I am a bit of a stickler for clean and combed....







We don't do matching everything, but the kids have comfortble and cute clothes to choose from. I like Ellie to look like a little girl still, although she will be 10 soon :LOL She likes sundresses and casual things, except for parties, then she likes dresses, too.

My mom used to call unkempt children 'ragamuffins"







I guess I absorbed some of that....I am working on it, though


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## FreeThinkinMama (Aug 3, 2004)

same here, I buy a lot of individual peices that coordinate with something else she has. And another thing I just thought of is that I really enjoy dressing her up, I wanted a baby for so long, I just love taking tons of pictures and I like everything to look perfect. I don't like looking at pictures where she's in just a diaper and she's covered in food LOL although it's kind of cute I'm partial to the ones where she's wearing a dress with the cute hairties and frilly socks. My family thinks its weird because I hated wearing dresses when I was a kid, I guess they thought I would have my dd be a tomboy too hehe


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## binxsmom (Jun 14, 2004)

my 4 year old dresses himself and i just go with it. if we are going to a special function or family event, then i'll give hime choices. and, naturally, he picks out the most obnoxious combinations: plaid and stripes, long sleeves in 90 degree weather, etc. he wore a tuxedo to a wedding a while back (found the tux at a yard sale for $5. bargain!) and he totally loved that thing. he would often wear the tux shirt with cotton knit shorts or the tux pants with a cotton tee. lately, he's taken to wearing a batman outfit. i just let him do his own thing.

since dd is just a babe, i have control over what she wears. usually it's just soakers and tees. or cute little comfy knit dresses for church. she doesn't wear shoes. and usually i pull her hair up in a pony tail otherwise it will hang in her face.

i do try to ensure that their faces and clothing are *relatively* clean when in public.


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

I don't dress my kids- they dress themselves!! OK, Jack can't quite dress himself yet, but Hannah dresses him almost as much as I do!!

I let the girls pick out their own clothes, do their own hair, etc. I gently encourage them to match, have brushed hair, and be neat, but I don't insist on it. I do insist on a certain amount of modesty- clothes can't be too tight or too skimpy, but I don't really care if there are seams coming out, stains, small holes, etc, or if Hannah gives up on finding 2 socks that match and just wears mismates.

For the most part, everything in Jack's wardrobe co-ordinates, and I'm equally unconcerned if something is worn or stained, or if he manages to select shorts and a shirt that clash.


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## WinterWillow (Apr 17, 2005)

Comfortable. My girls wear a lot of cotton clothing and never wear anything they can't get dirty in. I only brush there hair after a bath and thats it. They don't like having there hair brushed at all!


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## cookclanmama (Jun 23, 2005)

K I'm kind of anal about this one, I guess, lol. Since my kids were born, I've always made sure that their clothes match & that they look clean & well kempt. At home when they are playing outside, or when we're fishing or something, I don't care so much, as long as it's seasonally appropriate, & when they are in the house they are usually in the buff or boxer briefs, lol. In public & especially to school or special events, though, they wear nice dressy/casual type clothing. I keep their hair cut short & they like to gel it sometimes. They also wear deoderant. My 5 month old DS doesn't wear shoes usually because it is Summer & he can't walk yet, but I NEVER take my older kids anywhere without at the very least a pair of flip flops on. One of my pet peeves is to see kids out in public wearing nothing but a diaper or in nasty clothes & no shoes, especially if their parents are dressed to the hilt. I also don't like for mine to have dirty hands or faces-I keep baby wipes in my car for quick clean-ups. I think when you're out & about & your children (or you) look like ragamuffins, it reflects badly on you as a parent. Now, I'm not saying I put on a full regalia every time I go somewhere (I DO have four kids, after all), but I do at least make an effort to be clean, neat, & presentable...make-up is optional, lol.


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## littleaugustbaby (Jun 27, 2003)

I've given up on having my girly girl fashion plate. My DD is usually in something comfy. I try to pick out really cute clothes for her when I shop, but I also try to be practical, because nearly everything that she owns has some kind of stain on it. Around the house, we stay comfy, and for the most part, I dress her in comfy clothes when we go out. As far as everything matching, I make sure that what she's wearing goes together, but I don't stress out about coordinating shoes, etc. I also don't worry about hair brushing, because she hates having her hair done, and it's very curly and kind of long, so it's usually just a big mess, but if she doesn't mind, then it's her hair. Sometimes she'll let me put her hair up in pigtails or a ponytail, which I think is so cute, but mostly she just yanks her pigtails out, so why bother?


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## Dechen (Apr 3, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CookClanMama*
I think when you're out & about & your children (or you) look like ragamuffins, it reflects badly on you as a parent

Barring neglect, I think it relfects well on a parent that they aren't caught up in the beauty paegent of life.







I probably care more than I should.


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## kavamamakava (Aug 25, 2004)

Skanda lets me pick his clothes out for the day. He has a lot of input when we go shopping though. He likes yellow and blue. I let him buy a Power Rangers t-shirt







He just seemed so thrilled with it that I couldn't say no. I'm not sure he even knew who the Power Rangers were, just liked the shirt.

Nadia dresses herself. Pink from head to toe. Sometimes she'll let me pick her clothes out and I have to point out the pink somewhere in her outfit or she won't wear it. I'm not allowed to put her clothes on her though. She has to dress herself. She usually wears pants and a shirt. Sometimes she wears dresses. But she always has to have pants under her dress. Today it was jeans and a knee length, sleeveless dress (with pink flowers on the dress and pink flowers on the jean pockets).

Amelie is usually in something comfy like a sleeper or a onsie and pants. She does have a few dresses but she's mostly in pants or overalls.

I almost always brush their hair and wipe their faces before we leave the house, but if we are out all day long, you may not know I ever did that. I'd say that my kids usually look mostly put together but not perfect and sometimes they look kinda "funny"


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## littleaugustbaby (Jun 27, 2003)

Quote:

One of my pet peeves is to see kids out in public wearing nothing but a diaper or in nasty clothes & no shoes, especially if their parents are dressed to the hilt. I also don't like for mine to have dirty hands or faces-I keep baby wipes in my car for quick clean-ups. I think when you're out & about & your children (or you) look like ragamuffins, it reflects badly on you as a parent.
I'd much rather have my child look "unpresentable" in public than have her go through life worrying about what other people think of her appearance.

My mom was always so anal about what we looked like when we left the house - everything had to match, be ironed and neat, hair had to be done, etc. We weren't allowed to pick out our own outfits. I almost didn't get to take my SAT's because my mom said that the jeans I picked out were wrinkled and that I needed to iron them or change my clothes before she'd drive me to the SAT's. This was all because she thought that it reflected badly on her if her kids weren't dressed perfectly. All I ever got from it were a lot of self esteem issues that I still deal with to this day.

I'd rather my DD be allowed to have fun and be a kid than worry about what someone thinks of her clothing. If that makes me a bad parent in someone's eyes, then I feel more sorry for them than they probably do for me or my DD.


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## Ceili (Nov 21, 2001)

If we leave the house ds is fully dressed in clothes that match (I love smocked bubble rompers). He's not a steady walker yet, so I don't bother with shoes and it's too hot around here for socks.

He doesn't have enough hair to bother with brushing. I wipe his hands and feet before we go out and that's about it.


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## nym (Sep 6, 2003)

clothes? My kids are often in diapers and a t-shirt.. if in public I put a pair of wool shorts on them







At home my toddler is naked.


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## monkaha (Jan 22, 2004)

DD picks her own clothes, and, in typical 3yo style, they rarely match. THe only reason my own clothes match is that all I own are jeans shorts and tshirts, and they ALWAYS go together. :LOL DS gets the top t-shirt on the pile, and shorts if he's wearing a velcro diaper cover. Whether my kids' clothes match is so far off of my priority list that I can't even see it. (Of course, I went thru my entire junior year of high school without once wearing a matching pair of socks, so I may have a bit of a bias there.)


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## MamaDaednu (Apr 6, 2004)

I love dressing my kids and my daughter in particular.
My son usually picks his own clothes these days.

They're pretty much always dressed very nicely and for sure always dressed comfortably. So far neither has ever owned sweats as I just don't care for that look at all.

People comment about them being dressed up pretty often. Funny, because they're just dressed in clean, pretty basic, nice quality clothing.
Almost all of their clothing comes from ebay or consignment shops and it all makes its way back there or a donation bin.

~Daednu


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## UnschoolnMa (Jun 14, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CookClanMama*
One of my pet peeves is to see kids out in public wearing nothing but a diaper or in nasty clothes & no shoes, especially if their parents are dressed to the hilt. I also don't like for mine to have dirty hands or faces-I keep baby wipes in my car for quick clean-ups. I think when you're out & about & your children (or you) look like ragamuffins, it reflects badly on you as a parent.

 For me to feel that a kid in a diaper and no shoes, or maybe one with some crumbs or berries on their face, reflects badly upon me as a parent I would first have to believe that diapers, barefeet, and crumbs or berries were negative/bad things that shouldn't be seen and that just isn't the case.







Perhaps it's where I live but seeing a barefoot kid in a diaper eating just isn't a biggie.

Quote:

but I do at least make an effort to be clean, neat, & presentable...make-up is optional, lol.
 Which is cool by me. I guess the definition of presentable is where we differ


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## UnschoolnMa (Jun 14, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dechen*
Barring neglect, I think it relfects well on a parent that they aren't caught up in the beauty paegent of life.







I probably care more than I should.


I couldn't agree more.


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## trinity6232000 (Dec 2, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *littleaugustbaby*
I'd much rather have my child look "unpresentable" in public than have her go through life worrying about what other people think of her appearance.

AMEN! My dd is 5 and I let her pick out her own clothing. I do have her
put her clothing in her hamper before bed, and she knows not to dig threw
it to find something to wear. But stripes with plaid, or her favorite is to
wear pants with dresses, it's all fine by me. Most of the time she matches
okay, some days not at all. She's happy, and comfortable. So am I.


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## Mommiska (Jan 3, 2002)

Well, ds is under 2, so I still get to dress him - so he's usually cute and matches! Short curly hair as well - I never brush it, but it looks adorable (and neat!) anyway.

My dds are a different story. Both of them insist on dressing themselves, and dd1 especially is REALLY into clothes being comfortable. So - she rarely matches, but at least SHE feels good, and that's the main thing.

DD2 will be guided by me a little more, so she tends to match. But they'll sometimes wear really weird shoe/sandal choices (i.e., something that really doesn't go with whatever clothes they are wearing).

Hair - well, we brush it in the morning, otherwise the tangles are unbearable at night (both of my girls like to play with their hair). Otherwise, we just go - which could mean lots of frizz. But it just isn't worth the aggro from them to wet their hair down, and if they dont' care, why should I?









(although that said - for special occasions when I'm wanting cute pictures to send to grandparents, I do kind of insist...and if that doesn't work, I bribe! :LOL )


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## Willowrose (Jan 24, 2005)

I love dressing my boys. I thought the novelty would wear off after I had my first, but nope! I like comfy clothes with no noticeable name brands. Love my Hannas....so comfortable and cute for the kids. I really don't mind spending the extra $ because they hold up so much better than your department store name brands. I love catalog shopping, so I buy most of the boys clothes that way. I also love dressing them alike or different colors of the same outfit. Its so much easier and they look adorable!
Around the house, its just play clothes or underwear!


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## onlyzombiecat (Aug 15, 2004)

Generally when we are going somewhere my dd's clothes go together fairly well & are clean... not a stickler for matching shoes, socks or hair accessories. She has one pair of sandals, a pair of tennis shoes and one pair of dressy shoes. So she wears the pink sandals or white tennis shoes with pretty much everything. A lot of her clothes mix and match pretty well to begin with so it isn't a huge issue. If she really insists on an uncoordinated outfit I would let her wear it.

I do insist that my dd have her hair brushed before we go somewhere. It doesn't have to be done up in braids or bows but just be brushed. At home she can wear whatever and go with unbrushed hair if she is so minded.
I do try to keep her as clean as possible because dirty faces and hands are a pet peeve of mine. She still gets to play in dirt or finger paint and have fun. We just wash when done with the activity.


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## maya44 (Aug 3, 2004)

How do my kids dress?

In a way that indicates I prob would not be posting on MDC. :LOL

My dd's dress what can only be described as "trendy." (Tractor Jeans, Juicy, Churchgirl, Guitar Pick, Lemon, C &C Clothing Co...I bet not that many hear have heard of these brands for kids)

I never had stuff like this, wanted it and buy it for my girls. So far, they have loved it.

We spend alot of time (and $$$) at the local "tween boutique". It's one of my big pleasures to take them shopping there.


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## Linda in OZ (Sep 14, 2003)

most of what the boys own are hand me downs, the last big pile of clothes they were given was all surfy stuff, very cool







: I don't really fret over what they wear and they have chosen what to wear since they were able to dress them selves. I do however like them to wear shoes when we go to town.


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## scrapadoozer (Jun 10, 2004)

When we go out I try to dress dd nicely. It may not be the most fashionable outfit ever but she usually looks presentable. I really went overboard shopping for her at thrift stores and often get overwhelmed by the pile of clothes.







: At home she usually wears knit rompers or jeans & a shirt for outdoor play. For playclothes I don't even care if they match or not...it's just going to end up caked with mud in 5 minutes anyway. :LOL


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## psyche (Apr 6, 2005)

I think I dress him pretty simply but cleanly. Of course, because he is now a "big boy" at three, there is some input (e.g. "car shirt"). The pants are hard to mismatch because they are almost always just denim, khaki, or navy blue. Lately, the shirts have mainly been tie-dyed because I just learned how to do it after several summers of buy one or two shirts off a WAHM & finding tie-dye-like things in stores.

However, I do spend thought and mental energy on actually buying the clothes - even from someplace like Target. Actually, "even" does not do them justice because I find it easier to find some plain, unmarked basics there than many other places.

I don't like stains or rips/tears for going out (though those clothes usually end up in the "tearing around the yard" pile... useless really, since oftentimes that is usually when he strips himself nekkid). I don't buy things with licensed characters on them either. (Though a family member stocked us up on a couple of M&Ms outfits and I find that okay because I'm a chocoholic.)


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## spatulagirl (Feb 21, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *binxsmom*
my 4 year old dresses himself and i just go with it. if we are going to a special function or family event, then i'll give hime choices. and, naturally, he picks out the most obnoxious combinations: plaid and stripes, long sleeves in 90 degree weather, etc. he wore a tuxedo to a wedding a while back (found the tux at a yard sale for $5. bargain!) and he totally loved that thing. he would often wear the tux shirt with cotton knit shorts or the tux pants with a cotton tee. lately, he's taken to wearing a batman outfit. i just let him do his own thing.

since dd is just a babe, i have control over what she wears. usually it's just soakers and tees. or cute little comfy knit dresses for church. she doesn't wear shoes. and usually i pull her hair up in a pony tail otherwise it will hang in her face.

i do try to ensure that their faces and clothing are *relatively* clean when in public.









My almost 4-year-old is the same. I don't really care what he looks like. His face is clean and so are his clothes but the rest he chooses. Sometimes he wears a Spiderman costume to the store. Other times a tie with a surf style shirt. When I buy him new clothes I show him what matches and he dresses himself for everything. He loves to change his clothes and if I let him he would have a different outfit on morning, noon and night. He has been dressing himself since he was two. If given a choice between a new toy or new clothes he usually choose clothes. He picks stuff out for DD too :LOL

Kai is just a baby so I keep her clean and put her in a dress if we are out to eat, regular clothes with AIOs if she is with DH and with me she is in a t-shirt and wool. She also doesn't wear shoes and she doesn't have enough hair for a ponytail so we let that be.


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## dharmamama (Sep 19, 2004)

My kids pick their own clothes, and the only time I say anything about it is if it's obviously out of season (sundresses in the show) or obviously dirty (like most of lunch stuck to it). And then I only bother with it if we are leaving the house.

I do make sure that my son's hair has been brushed and oiled, because I am well aware of the fact that some people don't think a white family can/should raise a black child, so I make sure that his hair and skin look well-cared-for.

I also make sure my daughter's hair has been brushed at some point in the day, and when we go out of the house, she has to at least have a barrette in it so that it's not hanging in her face.

Aside from worrying (a bit) about what some people think of a white mother's ability to care for a black child, the only reason I say anything about the clothes my kids wear and how their hair is done is because I think that it contributes in a general way to a more polite and respectful society when people are dressed at least cleanly.

But I am in no way hung up on what my kids wear. I just have some minimum standards.

Namaste!


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## fiddledebi (Nov 20, 2003)

Like many of you, I was surprised by how much enjoyment I got out of dressing my daughter after she was born. I've always liked buying cute stuff for her...but my main requirement was that it always be comfortable and machine-washable. I like jersey cotton a LOT. I would say that 90% of dd's clothes feel like t-shirts. That said, I buy nicer brands -- usually on eBay or at outlet malls. I like simple t-shirts with leggings or bike shorts, but with really cute designs on them, like this brand Mulberribush which does beautiful pictures of animals on them. Today, she's wearing one of their t-shirts with a little horse on it, wearing an orange lei, and I have shorts that match the lei. Her hair (an absolutely CRAZY curly mess ALL THE TIME) has two orange terrycloth pigtail holders in it, matching the colors of the outfit. So, she matches, and coordinates, but she's still really just in shorts and a t-shirt.

Even for dresses, I still mostly buy jersey cotton. Even for fancy occasions, I think she can get away with it at her age, and I want her to be comfortable. When it's really cold, I'll do corduroy if she has to wear a dress. Some good comfy but still really cute brands are Beetlejuice, Painting Red Rhinos, Sweet Potatoes, and again, Mulberribush. Doing a search on ebay for these always brings up great gently used or even new items at a fraction of what it would cost to buy them at a boutique or department store (where I NEVER shop). Also, once I know if this next baby is a boy or girl, I can go through all dd's outgrown stuff and sell back what I can't use!

As far as rips or stains -- so far we haven't had any rips, but stains I usually try to get out. If I can't, the item becomes play clothes or gets moved out of the rotation...we have enough stuff that I don't think it's necessary to have her wear really obviously stained clothing. I donate that stuff. Just a point of personal pride, I guess.

I still can't believe how much fun I have dressing her! :LOL


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## DebraBaker (Jan 9, 2002)

My kids dress themselves.

The boys have taken to shopping with their oldest brother (boys ages are 17, 13, 10) He's been taking them into the Hollister because the gap is too much my style.

Julianna has her own sense of style. I have some control because I actually *buy* the clothing that comes into the house but they dress themselves.

They actually do a pretty good job of selecting appropriate clothing. When the boys were younger it took a bit of prodding to have them shift seasons.

Debra Baker


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## mommyoftwo (Apr 6, 2004)

Hopefully weather appropriate. That is the only thing I strive for. Hair brushing optional-it isn't worth arguing over. Teeth brushing mandatory.
My dd dresses herself so sometimes things match sometimes they don't. She does prefer dresses and pigtails.
My ds is the one with crumbs on his face, a diaper and no shoes. :LOL
I am very laid back about this kind of thing.
Most of their clothing from thrift stores-My mom is the thrifting queen.


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## Lucky (Nov 14, 2004)

Dss dress themselves. I make sure that there is not anything stained, torn, or worn-out looking in their closet.

Ds2 went an entire summer wearing his black cowboy boots when he was 3 yo.

For dd, my mother or I make most of her clothes, so I like to put her in outfits, (to show them off







)....w/matching shoes, tights, hair do-dads, etc...

All of dc like to wash their hands and faces and comb their hair.They usually look nice and clean.


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## Copper (May 4, 2004)

DD is now 4 and likes to choose and dress herself; that's fine, we don't wear stained clothing or clothes with holes in them. To get out the door I don't care but teeth brushed, hair combed and seasonally appropriate clothing is a must (no sundresses when it is cold and that kind of thing).
If she is having a hard time or something she favors is in the wash I "help" pick out 2-3 outfits, and leave the room; her choice.

What's up with shoes though? I am not a big shoe person, have more than a few pairs, but she has an absolute fetish, she has more than me and dh put together. I think she got it from my mother...actually I am certain and grandma encourages it. Last time she came out to visit she took dd shopping for "shoes like grandma" those darn flip flop things (I hate those) she bought dd 2 pairs and dd was so happy, so here is grandma in the store "do you want another pair? How about 3 new pairs?" DD said no she was fine thank you. Now we have a whole summer collection in the last 2 months she has like 6 new pairs of "sandals" and the ones that look the rattiest she loves the most. :LOL


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## Thursday Girl (Mar 26, 2004)

a lot of the time I let DD(2 years) pick out her clothes orgive her a choice. She went to the zoo once in a pink hula skirt and yesterday she went to school in a long sleeve shirt that said Li'l pumpkin. One of those baseball shirts with orange sleeves and whit body. She actually choose a matching orange skirt. well the skirt was a little brighter orange. I included a tank top as welive in florida but she never needed it (and Ilet her wear her jacket zipped up on top of it b/c she wanted too.)

If it isn't season appropriate I let her wear it but bring something that is so when she says I'm cold or I'm hot we can change quickly. It doesn't always match but that;s usually my fault not hers :LOL I'm not to great at matching.
Her face is usually a little dirty but before we go into a place I spit clean it







: I don't really brush her hair except with my hand. it doens't really get messy in my opinion though.

when my sisters are over they like to dress her and my mom is obsessed with brushing her hair.

I want to get a pin that says "i dressed myself" for days when she gets really crazy with the outfits as she is rather found of wearing a bathing suit over her clothes.

Oh and before she had any say in it I would dress her in her elephant costume in public.

I do match her sometimes pretty well, Ilike cute little matching outfits. especially in the winter a long sleeve under a t-shirt and pants that all match.

now the biggest thing that makes her notmatch is she has a pair of green hi top "my chucks" (converse) and she always wants to wear them. My sis said she's going to have to buy her more colors b/c she was wearing those last night with her orange pumpkin shirt and she had switched to orange plaid capri's. (my other sis siad she looked like a clown!







: )

Courtney


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## LeftField (Aug 2, 2002)

I don't care too much about clothes, because my mother was very controlling over our appearance when I was growing up. My sister and I were forced into the girly girl image, not allowed to cut our hair, had to keep our hair in barrettes and buns and curls, not allowed to pick out our own clothes, made to wear dresses because "it just looks nice". It was really suffocating to have to appear in a way that stroked my mother's ego and got her compliments from other people. It was not her body, YK! She was not open to input. And it made it very difficult to play and have fun like the other kids (read boys); we couldn't get dirty because it would mess up our pretty clothes. The dresses force you to sit and move in certain limited ways. So, that's like a touchy area for me now. If I had a girl, it would be an even touchier area, but as it is, I have boys.

I obviously pick out clothes for my 1yo, because he is unable to do so. My 4yo doesn't have much interest in picking out clothes, but when he points to something he likes, I generally buy it, even if I think it's an ugly shirt or too brighly colored. He wears a lot of orange that I would not normally buy, because he likes that color. Sometimes he choose his shirt for the day, but most of the time, he doesn't care.

When they were infants, they lived in their pjs or just onesies (depending on season) because they looked the most comfortable. When they were older babies, they lived in sweatpants and rompers (again, depending on season), for comfort again. They did not wear shoes until they were walking well and wanted to walk in public. As toddlers, I tend to gravitate towards denim and khaki pants/shorts with cotton t-shirts. With my oldest, we seemed to dress him in a lot of dark blue and grey, which went well with his coloring (very dark hair, very white skin). For my youngest, I tend to gravitate to warm colors because it goes well with his complexion and light hair color. I try to pick out shirts that reflect their personality and interests. When my oldest had a truck obsession, I bought him a ton of shirts that had trucks on them.

I don't know. Clothes are not a big deal to me. They should be 100% cotton (we have funny skin issues), comfortable and clean. They should not have tight waistbands or any "scratchies" or anything that inhibits free movement. I'm not super invested in how my kids appear, because of my issues with my mother; she cared a bit too much about how we looked. The kids are not extensions of me; they're separate people.


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## MamaBug (Jun 13, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mom4tot*
My mom used to call unkempt children 'ragamuffins"







I guess I absorbed some of that....I am working on it, though









OMG My mom called them the same thing! :LOL Hearing that over and over really does change the way you might do things. Thankfully I didn't listen to all her ways of doing things


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## cappuccinosmom (Dec 28, 2003)

We're pretty relaxed. I try to make sure things don't clash when we're out, and I do have some cute outfits for the kids for church.

Todaay ds1 was wearing an old dinosaur t-shirt and knit light blue shorts. Ds 2 is wearing a woven cotton/poly onesie. I'm wearing a faded, stained denim skirt and an old mock-two peice shirt. But, my hair _is_ brushed. :LOL


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## laralou (Nov 27, 2001)

I buy really nice dresses and outfits for dds at garage sales and secondhand. I make socks and bows to match. It doesn't cost a lot for them to look nice. We don't dress that way at home, but when we go out on an outing, I like them to look nice. They pick the outfit and I dress them. It is fun for me to make their socks and bows, and they like looking like a "fairy".

I buy ds's pants and shorts at the thrift store and buy his shirts at target or old navy. I just expect him to pick something that matches and that fits (not too small). I also expect his hair to be combed and his teeth brushed.

I have told him that I will NEVER be a mother to the smelly kid. I used to carpool with a smelly boy and wondered how come his mom never told him. So I told ds that he doesn't need to worry, that I will make sure he knows if he smells, because it stinks (literally and figuratively) to be the smelly kid.

None of my kids mind dressing nicely, so I am not forcing it on anyone. If the girls balk at dresses when they get older, then they will just have to abide by the same rules as brother- matching and fitting (now I don't mean I wouldn't let them dress like fairies to go to the park or something, I mean for a dinner out, etc).

When ds didn't want to give up a too-small shirt, I explained that others judge us on what we wear. When he wears ill-fitting/dirty/mismatched clothes, they assume I as his parent am neglectful. I do know a woman whose kids wear whatever they want whether it matches or not and their clothes are often torn/dirty/ill-fitting. She is a very loving mother, but other people do think she is neglectful. (just wanted to add, I try not to judge others based on appearance and that is what I teach my kids, but it is a fact of life that others do)

I feel like I am pretty balanced overall. I am not the mom shouting don't get dirty in that dress (because I rarely pay more than $2-3 for something I don't care), but they are always clean, matching and kempt. Now as far as myself, I don't care to go to too much trouble. I brush my hair and teeth, and my clothes fit and match, but I don't have a lot of jewelry and I rarely wear makeup or dress up.


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## ktlady (May 27, 2005)

I think we fall somewhere in the middle. My dd is alway combed, clean and matching when we leave the house - but she doesn't alway stay that way while we are out. She can play in almost all of her clothes - I am good at getting stains out - but most important I want her to be comfortable.


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## Losgann (Jun 24, 2004)

Ds doesn't care if it matches or not and here lately I have to give in and just be thankful he's at least changed into something clean. He







his pajamas and would live in them if I let him. He has toileting issues as well so just getting him to clean up and put something clean on is a feat in itself. We live for the small things.









Dd loves to pick, mix and match her own outfits and she's very creative. I've caught on though to her saying no to whatever I pick out for her so I pick the one thing in her closet that I absolutely do *not* want her to wear just so it's out of the running for sure.









Other than that, if they are comfortable I don't much care if they don't match. They have very few matching outfits, just an eclectic mix of t shirts and tanks and shorts for summer. Dd has a closet full of dresses from plain cotton to all out frilly and poofy (the better to spin in).

I have a neighbor who they are always dressed to the hilt no matter where they are going. Their dd, 7 at the time, came out so proud that she'd put her own hair up in a pony tail. Both her parents told her it wasn't good enough and would have to be redone. What a crappy thing to do to a kid.

I don't wanna be that kinda parent. We're much more relaxed. If we're covered, we're good!


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

my 33 month old is a tomboy who has chosen her outfits since she was 18 months old. her appearance is the least of my battles. she gets to wear whatever she wants. we always get reactions from people about the way she dresses. either smiles or frowns. the frowns are mainly at no shoes.

my dd has a unique style. she has to accesorise. either with underwear as her silly hat (yet she wont wear hats), or a purse with a dinosaur sticking out or full of rocks, or measuring tape as a scarf or suspenders over skirt and tshirt or a flamboyant sequined hat.

her hair is sometimes combed sometimes not.

and i never insist on weather appropriate. she discovers that by herself.

the only thing i draw a line at is when she tries to wear my underwear outside. and also that she has to have clothes on when we go outside. she does sometimes go out in my tshirt worn with a belt around her middle so she doesnt trip. she has also claimed some of my halter tops as dresses (they look really cute). and my neighbour have added some of their ones too. she dresses in layers. she prefers boys clothes to girls. i really enjoy watching her mind work.

she does for some ocassions let me dress her appropriately (look cute for events) to a certain degree. so i figure i can let her be who she wants to be.

i try and keep her clean but sometimes seh doesnt want me to clean her so i just let her be.


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## woobysma (Apr 20, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *maya44*
My dd's dress what can only be described as "trendy." (Tractor Jeans, Juicy, Churchgirl, Guitar Pick, Lemon, C &C Clothing Co...I bet not that many hear have heard of these brands for kids)


jeez Maya, we don't all live in bark huts :LOL

My oldest is 7.5 and gets himself dressed - we put nice clothes in the middle drawer in his dresser and playing-outside-stomping-in-the-mud-raggity-clothes in the bottom drawer - so I tell him if he needs a "middle drawer" outfit or a "bottom drawer" outfit and he goes and picks stuff out.

My youngest is not yet 1, so I still get him dressed - I like the boys to be clean and somewhat matching, but I'm certainly not picky about it (teeth MUST be really clean and hair has to be somewhat tame, though). If I can get us all out of the house without someone crying, spitting-up or crawling through the front bushes like a spy, I'll be happy.


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## momto1QT (Apr 19, 2005)

I must admit, I always dress DD in cute, matching outfits. Since she is a toddler now, she won't keep anything in her hair and she loves to go barefoot so I try to let her do that as much as possible. I just can't help myself I guess...it's just so much fun to dress up my little girl :LOL Plus, I figure I might as well dress her in things I'd like to see her in before she grows up and chooses the exact opposite


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## Diane~Alena (Aug 23, 2004)

Ok I will admit I have a problem







. I am addicted to Gymboree and I love having all my kids matching not just my twins. I like to dress them so they catch peoples eye, I have gotten addicted to having people comment on how cute my kids are. I think it started with my first babies everyone noticed them because they were tiny little twins. I love to have their hair done, their socks and shoes coordianting and even hats and sweaters. I have gotten realy good at finding gymboree, old navy, please mum, gap and other name brands at second hand stores in perfect shape and cheap cheap cheap, this helps because I am a stay at home mom.


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## Marsupialmom (Sep 28, 2003)

I don't dress my kids since they can dress themselves. I just provide weather appropriate clothing.

I do let them help pick out but we shop on a budget (resale/thrift store) a lot.

They each only have two pairs of shoes, because I hate looking for shoes. The less shoes you have the easier it is for you to keep up with them.


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## Linda on the move (Jun 15, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CookClanMama*
One of my pet peeves is to see kids out in public wearing nothing but a diaper or in nasty clothes & no shoes, especially if their parents are dressed to the hilt. ... I think when you're out & about & your children (or you) look like ragamuffins, it reflects badly on you as a parent.

I totally agree. When you love something, you take care of it. Children who are dirty, have dirty hair, have dirty clothes, etc. look like no one loves them enough to spend 10 minutes on them. If you've ever seen a tot whose face doesn't look likes it's been washed in a week and the mom looks like she is ready to go out clubbing, it is creepy. I can't help but feel sorry for the child.

I'm not controlling with my kids about how they dress. Kids who look too perfect also creep me out because I know that I would have to torture my kids to get them to look like that.







We are just going for clean, in clean clothes, and comfy.


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## cmb123 (Dec 30, 2004)

All three of my kids are really into clothes. As long as I can remember, they have picked out their own clothes, with no input from me. They all have really strong feelings about what they want to wear, it's a very important part of thier identity. Some kids will just throw on jeans and a tee shirt but NO...not mine. It's gotta be a big deal, every day.








They often show up in really mismatched out fits ( my youngest yesterday wore pink white and yellow floral shorts, with a lavendar tank top, with one purple leopard print sock, one orange and black halloween witch sock, and pink sequin hello kitty sandals). I would never try to get them to change based on my idea of what I think looks good together. I want my children to take pride in their individuality, and I love that they aren't slaves to the trends. That is exactly what I wanted for them.


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## Mama2E&O (Sep 7, 2004)

Well someone recently told me my kids look like little flower children.


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## hvl25 (Jan 28, 2003)

my boys both dress themselves and do a good job on matching. obviously they are in tennis shoes or sandals most of the time.

my daughter, being 3, is in the phase of dressing herself and doesn't do a good job on matching. but i figure if we are staying home or only running to the store, i just leave her., unless she looks really bad.....LOL i want her to think for herself so i don't bother. as to her hair, she does' t like barettes/pony tails, etc so i brush after her shower and sometimes throughout the day.


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## trinity6232000 (Dec 2, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cmb123*
I would never try to get them to change based on my idea of what I think looks good together. I want my children to take pride in their individuality, and I love that they aren't slaves to the trends. That is exactly what I wanted for them.









:


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## Zipporah (Feb 22, 2005)

I am a big believer in letting kids wear whatever they choose to wear, from the clothes YOU buy them. In other words, i only buy clothes for dd that i like and that can be mixed and matched without looking like a vagrant wino, but from those clothes she can wear whatever combination she likes. I grew up in New Zealand where almost all children have to wear school uniforms, so i will never force dd to wear anything remotely resembling a uniform, including matching tops and bottoms and bows and hats etc. (unless of course she chooses it herself).
That reminds me of my Nana, when i was growing up she made clothes for me and my sister, but she was very strict about the rule that each top and skirt was a set that was not to be mixed and worn with anything else. She actually enforced this! And shoes, too! Maybe that was just something from her generation -- maybe it had something to do with showing that you weren't poor and didn't have to "recycle" items of clothing by pairing them with other things...? But anyway, i am definitely never going to do that with dd.


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## Hey Mama! (Dec 27, 2003)

Most of my dds' clothes are used. I match up Ainsley's clothes on hangers and she gets to pick out what she wants to wear that day. With Bethany, I fold her clothes up and try to keep matching stuff together, because Ainsley likes to pick her clothes out as well. I always get asked where I find their cute clothes-if some people only knew.







I like them to be clean and matching, but sometimes hair isn't combed neatly and they rarely wear accessories in their hair. I'm just starting to do that with Bethie because it's always in her face. Ainsley's hair is too short for hair ties.


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## Amylcd (Jun 16, 2005)

I try to keep their hair brushed & neat, usually their clothes match. I don't go out of my way to make them look "nice"


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## moondiapers (Apr 14, 2002)

My children, and daycare children, must be neat and clean to leave the house. I don't care if their clothes don't match, but they need to be and look clean. Faces need to be washed, and hair combed, clean fingernails...etc. before going out and about.


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## OakBerry (May 24, 2005)

Ds won't dress himself so he wears what I put on him. I buy all cotton tee shirts/shorts in mix and match colors and sometimes jean shorts or jeans thrown in. So no matter what I put on him it looks decent. He loves his sandals and they're brown so they look good with everything too. And hair is straight, I keep it pretty short, so it usually looks ok even when it's uncombed.
I don't mind taking him to the store with a dirty shirt or hands though.
If we're at a party or cookout, he looks clean at the beginning, but ends up filthy, and I don't worry about it.


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## moma justice (Aug 16, 2003)

i was just wondering this question the other day

we just moved to a very wealthy area of a new city, we used to live in a small townthat was hip and hippy, the way most kids dress there a dn here are WAY different....

my dd used to be the dressiest most clean and put together baby at the park, social gatherings etc

now she is one of the dirtier less dressed up looking kid at parks and grocery store etc....

we are poor, and ALL of her clothes have been 100% thrift, used, handme downs etc....
now i am th ethrift store queen so she ahs often had gymboree, gap, hannah, polo, baby guess, etc be the majority of her clothes and they all looked new or close to it.

but now she is almost two and she likes to PLAY and eat by herself, etc
in other words, she gets dirtier (not to mention that finding used but new looking clean unstained toddler cltohes in harder b/c all toddlers get dirtier)
and i don't want her to take on my issues with name brands (grew up super poor in the 80's on a hippy commune that did not support vanity or trendy corporate greed clothes....sigh)

she always looks cute, b/c she is a shining star and EVERONE can see taht no matter what she is wearing

and that is the way i like it....

now that she is getting older i let her pick out her clothes, even if we are shopping if she says she likes it and i think it is a fair price, i buy it....

that means she wears her pink butterfly tutu almost daily with her knee high rain boots.....

or her tiger suite with the hood that has ears

she is a rockstar goddess free spirit, i would never have her think paying a bunch of $$$ to be a walking advertisment for a corp should be her main goal.

that said, her clothes have to made of natural fibers (i love silk!) and i do not like any cartoon comercial chatacters......but when she gets older and says she wants something anyway that falls into that camp, again, if i think it is a fair price (nothing over 3$ for the most part) then i will respect her wish for creative expression.

even IF we do get looked down on by some moms at the park who spend more on their kids clothing than i do for our rent.....


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## bobica (May 31, 2004)

closer to fashion plate than not caring. lots of shorts & t shirts for the summer but cute & matching. Her hair is getting curlier by the day, so brushing it is becoming less realistic. when her bedhead is reallly bad, i spray some leave-in conditioner in & clip it back









I try to find a balance for just having fun, etc., but we at least start off clean & matching!


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## PadmaMorgana (Apr 14, 2004)

Obviously it depends on the weather, but basically a mix of shorts, t-shirts, long sleeved t-shirts, sweatshirts and jeans and dresses for DD (cotton, simple and mostly not pink). Socks match, but usually have holes or thin spots. The kids each have one pair of sneakers and one pair of sandals (and they have outside in the dirt shoes) one fleece vest, one fleece jacket and one rain jacket (we have very mild winters).

They are usually clean, sort of match, but I never brush their hair. DDs is flyaway fine and always looks fine and DSs is curly, kept cut short, so I just use my fingers to smooth it.

But nothing is ever ironed (I actually have not ironed in years), nothing dressy (DS has one dressy shirt) and everything they own can be worn to the park.

I like for all of us to look neat and tidy, but not done up. It just doesn't fit our life. But if they get dirty I don't freak. I don't even care. If they are really dirty they get changed, but clothes are meant to get dirty.


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## Changed (Mar 14, 2004)

I absolutlley insist that my kids all be well dresses, clean with combed hair and bushed teeth. I do buy good quality nice clothes for the girls always because as DD1 outgrows it, DD2 grows into it. She's not the type to care about hand me downs so it works out fine. I jsut started shopping for school clothes today. What a pain. I got Em 2 cute and confy outfits. The local resale shop only sells up to size 5 girls so thats' now out. To comply with ress code we'll have to buy everything new. Shoes are the last thing I buy since they have to match everything. Then hair things. She's flipping out about having the right hair things. Appreantly, that's how you get to be popular. It makes me a little sad that she's already caught up in that but she's choosing her own path. I just tell her that popular girls are girls that are nice to everyone and compassionate. Maybe that's wishful thinking but it's what I hope she'll expect from others.

The baby gets resale shop all the way but I still only but good quality stuff. Carters, zutano, gap ect. I love zutano but it's hard to find second hand.

So, yes, down to the toenail polish and matching ribbons, I'm seriously anal about how my kids look. My mom cared but not enough to put forth the effort and I always knew I reflected that. I wasn't dressed neatly and not in one school picture was my hair brushed until I was old enough to do it myself. I usually wore something dorky trying to look like my older sister and mangled it beyond recognition.

I hate to say it but I do hate to see dirty kids. It's sad to me because I know how society views kids like that. And they can't do a thing to change their appearnace or families financial situation.


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## witchbaby (Apr 17, 2003)

i like cute clothes for the girl. i'm a sucker for a tiny outfit.







: nothing i get her is very expensive (mostly from target), but it's pretty cute. i like to make a nice outfit in the morning, but i know she's going to be a mess by the end of the day and i'm fine with that. stains just add character.
ps. i work at an upscale children's boutique and can't imagine putting my kid in most of that stuff. it's BEAUTIFUL, but i would spend all my time freaking out about her getting it dirty because it's so expensive. yikes!


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## Babytime (May 4, 2004)

I dress my girls in coordinating outfits but make sure they are comfy styles and materials. My 4-year-old loves clothing and shopping so she picks out her own stuff (she has great taste fortunately :LOL ) and her hair is always brushed with coordinating hair accessories. She usually packs a matching pocketbook with crayons and other small toys so she has something to play with when we are out and about.

I dress the baby in a nice bubble suit or romper with matching accessories (sweater, hat, socks.)

About 75% of their wardrobes are Gymboree, so I often dress each of them in something from the same line so they don't match exactly but coordinate.


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## UnschoolnMa (Jun 14, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *my~hearts~light*
I hate to say it but I do hate to see dirty kids. It's sad to me because I know how society views kids like that. And they can't do a thing to change their appearnace or families financial situation.

I understand that you want your kids to look clean and be dressed in all matching stuff, and that's fine and your personal choice of course. I just think it's plain wrong that we equate a child who has a dirty face/hands/feet or in clothes that aren't matched, or with hair that isn't done as poor or neglected (if that isn't what you were saying here I aplogize for the misunderstanding) with parents who don't care.

I spent much of my childhood barefoot/in old sandals or sneakers playing in the garden $ field next to my house, cooking with my mom, and playing in the river or the mud lol. I was dirty from an hour after I went out to the time I was called in lol. My friends and I would walk to the little store a block away 3 times during the day to get candy with change we bugged our parents for :LOL. If the store (and society) though us to be neglected they were mistaken...we were just kids having fun and not being caught up in how much dirt was on our shirt.


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## cookclanmama (Jun 23, 2005)

I just wanted to clarify my position on this. I didn't say that we have to look "perfect". Yes, certainly there are more important things than appearance, & when my kids are at home, or in an appropriate playing place, you bet they get filthy-their tub looks like a mud puddle nearly every night, but I do think that if we are going out we should all be clean & appropriately dressed. I agree with the poster who said that if you love something you take care of it. It doesn't take but a few seconds to wash your child's face or run a brush through his/her hair. It doesn't have anything to do with being preoccupied with beauty, it's simply taking care of myself & my children. I still maintain that there is just no reason to take your child out in nothing but a diaper-I don't go out in nothing but my underwear-why should my child? I don't go out smelling horrible or with food smeared on my face-why should my child? Like it or not, society places a lot of emphasis on appearance, & to me, when a child is nasty or half-naked, it says that his/her caregiver didn't think the child was important enough to be cleaned up or dressed appropriately. This is especially true when said caregiver looks like s/he is ready to hit the town.
Also, while I make sure my kids are dressed nicely, I refuse to pay through the nose for a name on clothing. Almost all of our clothes come from resale shops, the thrift store, or clearance sales. I'm a HUGE bargain shopper. The only things we always buy new are shoes. It's not expensive at all to look nice.


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## oldcrunchymom (Jun 26, 2002)

I get most of kids' clothes at clearance sales or Salvation Army. They also get lots as gifts.

Hollis mostly wears plain pants/shorts and t-shirts with sports logos or peace symbols. Plain white underwear and socks. He has three pairs of shoes: sneakers, casual oxfords, and boots. He tends to wear the same things over and over so his wardrobe is pretty small compared to his sister's. The vast majority of his stuff is from Old Navy, Gap, and Polo (not counting the sports items).

Annika likes pink girly clothes. Almost everything she owns (and she owns a lot) is pink and/or frilly and/or sparkly. "Casual" to her is a cute skirt with a coordinating top, matching socks or tights, and ponytail holders and shoes that bring it all together. She dresses that way even if she's just going to hang around the house all day. Shoes--don't even get me started. She has a major shoe fetish. There's a shoe organizer hanging down her door that's crammed full of girlyness. Her clothes are from all different places--Old Navy, Gap, Gymboree, Betsey Johnson, Osh Kosh, Disney, etc etc.


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## Changed (Mar 14, 2004)

I think there is a great difference here. When kids are playing outside, they ought to get dirty. That's half the fun! Of course, I think you can tell when a child got dirty playing outside but usually looks ok and a kid who is usually dirty all the time. A kid who goes to school with dirty cloths and hair ect. That's imo not fair to the kid and again I agree that it screams "not one cared enough to bathe me!" There is a time and a place for everything. I'll give an example. THere was a kid in my 5th grade class. Cosmo. He waas filthy and smelled terribly every day. His clothes were torn and dirty and stunk as well. His shoes were holey and old. His teeth may have never ever been brushed and his hair was a literal nap from being so dirty and never combed. Now, he had NO friends. No one would go within a few feet of him. His life at school must have been horrible and sad. His parents were probably very poor and couldn't do any better for clothes and shoes. What they could have done was bathe him and wash his clothes. It wasn't fair to him that he was poor. It wasn't fair that kids disliked him based on those things. Life just isn't fair.

I just want to give my kids the best chance. By raising them well I already am but I think that good grooming and clean nice clothes helps too.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *UnschoolnMa*
I understand that you want your kids to look clean and be dressed in all matching stuff, and that's fine and your personal choice of course. I just think it's plain wrong that we equate a child who has a dirty face/hands/feet or in clothes that aren't matched, or with hair that isn't done as poor or neglected (if that isn't what you were saying here I aplogize for the misunderstanding) with parents who don't care.

I spent much of my childhood barefoot/in old sandals or sneakers playing in the garden $ field next to my house, cooking with my mom, and playing in the river or the mud lol. I was dirty from an hour after I went out to the time I was called in lol. My friends and I would walk to the little store a block away 3 times during the day to get candy with change we bugged our parents for :LOL. If the store (and society) though us to be neglected they were mistaken...we were just kids having fun and not being caught up in how much dirt was on our shirt.


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## nancy926 (Mar 10, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *my~hearts~light*
I hate to say it but I do hate to see dirty kids. It's sad to me because I know how society views kids like that. And they can't do a thing to change their appearnace or families financial situation.

Ummm...I'm sure my DD has been in public w/a dirty face more than once. That doesn't mean we don't have enough money to wipe it! We do just fine financially. I just don't think having a dirty face is the end of the world.

There's a difference between going to school every day smelling bad and in stained/torn clothes, and just having a dirty face because you ate strawberries and then HAD to play in the sand afterward, and your mom didn't bring any wipes so you have to walk home from the farm looking funky.









Anyway, my $0.02....

I love kids' clothes....Hanna and Zutano are faves. Usually DD humors me and lets me pick out what she wears. Sometimes she wants to pick it out herself, and I always let her, even if it clashes horribly. We went out Sunday with her wearing a blue and white shirt with dogs on it, and striped orange, green, red, turquoise and white capris. Her socks did match each other, at least.









I think it's kind of cool to see a kid who's obviously dressed themselves. To me it means their parents are more interested in fostering their kid's ability to choose things for themselves and have some control over their own life than they are interested in what everyone else thinks. One of S.'s friends used to wear pants on her head regularly out in public (she said they were her "long hair"). Her parents didn't care at all. On the other hand, while we were out Sunday we saw a family of 4 (mom, dad, daughter, son) all dressed alike in red, white and blue. That kind of freaked me out, I admit.

Granted, there are times when I would rather DD look "nice" - like weddings. And I do have a thing about stained clothing; it's used only for play. But I don't care if things match or are seasonally appropriate.

I would love to brush DD's hair every day but it turns into a huge screaming battle that's just not worth it. I might just get it cut short to avoid all that, if she's okay with it.


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## lactivist02 (Feb 6, 2005)

I think it is important to have my kids looking nice. When my Ds (now 13) was in preschool I volunteered alot. There were kids there that were obviously not well taken care of. Dirty body and clothes, they were treated diferently by the teachers and aids. It made an impression on me I want to have my children treated with respect, but without squashing thier creativity.

My own mother doesnt think thier dressed well enough even with my standards she has in the past bought and kept clothes at her house for them to wear at her house. Sheesh!

That doesnt mean that I haven't let my DD wear a tigger party hat and bounce everywhere she went, I did LOL! My 4 yo is obcessed with a pair of black cowboy boots, he wears them everywhere, at least his shorts and shirt are matching and clean! But with 2 kids in public school and 3 at home, going with me every where, they have to hold to a certain standard of "dressed" Hair combed and pulled back for dd, Shaved heads for Ds's (4 of them) Clean, brushed teeth, clean clothes etc.

I have sent them back to re dress if I don't like what thy are wearing. Granted with boys it's easy to dress them in denim shorts or jeans and a tee shirt. 8 yo likes hawaiian shirts. DD knows what is expected but also wants to fit in w/ her peers so I don't worry about her much.

As a WAHM I don't have alot of money so I shop Thrift stores. I also have a couple of rich friends who's kids are just a year older than my kids so I get thier hand me downs on a constant basis. I just put a whole basket of DS 8yo clothes in hiding because they are good enough for school next year.

Church is the one thing I'm really picky about, the boys need white dress shirts, and dress pants. the older ones have ties. My DD needs to wear a dress that is modest, clean and becoming. (my DH is a knock out in his black suit red tie and suspenders YUMMY!)

My Youngest Ds's are 2 1/2 yrs apart but wear the same size, I admit that when we are going out I will dress them the same or similar. LOL







: Since I only have one girl I do it w/ my boys.

My kids are nicely dressed, clean, and happy they are allowed to play and get dirty. But they look nice in public most of the time. LOL!

Michelle LS, LLL, UCPB, LC wannabe


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## Changed (Mar 14, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nancy926*
On the other hand, while we were out Sunday we saw a family of 4 (mom, dad, daughter, son) all dressed alike in red, white and blue. That kind of freaked me out, I admit.










:







:







: There were 5 of us. Not the same clothes, just colors.


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## rebeccalizzie (Apr 1, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nancy926*

There's a difference between going to school every day smelling bad and in stained/torn clothes, and just having a dirty face because you ate strawberries and then HAD to play in the sand afterward, and your mom didn't bring any wipes so you have to walk home from the farm looking funky.









I think it's kind of cool to see a kid who's obviously dressed themselves. To me it means their parents are more interested in fostering their kid's ability to choose things for themselves and have some control over their own life than they are interested in what everyone else thinks. One of S.'s friends used to wear pants on her head regularly out in public (she said they were her "long hair"). Her parents didn't care at all. On the other hand, while we were out Sunday we saw a family of 4 (mom, dad, daughter, son) all dressed alike in red, white and blue. That kind of freaked me out, I admit.

Granted, there are times when I would rather DD look "nice" - like weddings. And I do have a thing about stained clothing; it's used only for play. But I don't care if things match or are seasonally appropriate.

I would love to brush DD's hair every day but it turns into a huge screaming battle that's just not worth it. I might just get it cut short to avoid all that, if she's okay with it.

That's almost exactly me. DD absolutely has to brush her hair once a day, because it's long and tangles terribly. If she refuses, she's going to get the tangles cut out (we had to do this once, and once was enough!). I don't care what she wears 95% of the time, and the few times I ask her to dress a certain way there is a reason--usually because I'm going to see people I or DH work with, and our bosses are obnoxious. If her clothing is stained or ripped, unless it is a huge favorite I get rid of it, if she really loves it she can keep it.

It's gone if it is too small, but that's because she's old enough that too small=too close to "sexy" dressing for my comfort. Clothing needs to cover what it is intended to cover for her to be allowed to wear it.

I think it's seriously cool to see people with kids who obviously dressed themselves. So neat that their kids are allowed to express themselves however they choose! A little dirty is no big deal to me, but there is a huge difference between "strawberry and sand" dirty face and "hasn't been washed in days" face. Those are the kids I feel badly for, because I do think brushed hair and clean bodies are important.


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## Ellien C (Aug 19, 2004)

I'm that "dressed to the nines" mother with the ragamuffin kid!

If you want the "why," here it is:
I work in a very conservative office and need to wear a business suit daily. DH is pretty much the same. We send our DD to day care. In the beginning, I did spend a bit of time putting together those cute matching outfits. But they usually came back stained from paint or pudding. Or one piece would get soiled and the they would change her and it wouldn't match.

Now, I'm greatful for my sis' hand-me-downs that come pre-stained from going through 2 girls. They're fine for day care. If I'm going to take her out after DC, I used to make an effort to put her in the cute outfits, but she must have sensed my ridiculous emotional investment in what she was wearing because those came back with the MOST stains.

At 2 she's exerting her independence and if I suggest an outfit, it won't get worn. I do insist that she not take dirty clothes out of the hamper to wear, but just about everything else is fair game. It rarely matches - due mostly to the hand-me-down nature of it all. I'm not up for clothing battles on work days and I really don't care on weekends.

She now has just enough hair for 2 little pigtails that stick straight out of her head. Truly, nothing would give me greater pleasure than to put it up with some of the darling baby bows I've had since she was born. Alas, her day care teacher is the only one she'll let put up her hair. We don't seem to need to brush it, though DH has attacked her once or twice with a comb and I'm like - honey forget it if she protests - which she usually does.

I REALLY think she is teaching ME not to be so emotionally invested in her appearance. It's a great growth opportunity for me.

I rarely worry about the dirty fingernails or smeared face. That's what being a kid is all about to me.

For bumming around the house - this summer she's pretty much been naked. Just a diaper would actually be an improvement. It's funny because there are 4 toddlers in the neighborhood and my front yard is like the naked zone. They all start trying to peel off their clothes when they come over. One boy looked at my girl and said - wanna take your clothes off? We all joke that it won't be so funny when they are 15!

When I'm out with my child, I'm usually thoroughly enjoying her company. I guess I do feel "judged" by the other mothers, but I think it's in a positive way. I always get and give big smiles. Complete strangers have told me they can tell I'm a great mom! So really, I think it's all in how you carry yourself and what you project, and that, my friends is way deeper than the dirty toes, smeared faces and too small t-shirts!


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## Shann (Dec 19, 2003)

My boys dress in whatever they want to dress in. I dont dictate what they wear at all. They usually choose old jeans with holes (which they HATE to wear clean), old sneakers (untied), no socks (they dont even own any socks), the first t-shirt they come to, they both have long hiar which they rarely brush, they have multiple ear piercings and want nose rings. I just dont see the big deal in having kids always be "perfect" in the way they look or dress.


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## huggerwocky (Jun 21, 2004)

I want her to look nice.But if she plays outside, of coruse she'll get dirty.No problem, before we go anywhere I make sure she's washed and her hair done.brushing teeth,washing,brushing her very long hair is part of the morning routine.

BUT, soemtiems she will want to wear clothes that are horribly mismatched...if she insists even after I tell her this it's fine with me.Her choice.She is 8







...it only has to be clean.


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## fiddledebi (Nov 20, 2003)

Something else I wanted to throw out there -- and I realize it's easy for me to say because my daughter is still only three -- but I try to buy her clothes I think she'll really like. She loves the color green, so a huge chunk of her wardrobe is green. If I have a choice, that's the color I buy. She also loves pockets, so I try to buy stuff with lots of pockets, and put surprises in them once she's dressed. While I hate character clothes, I only buy character underwear -- it makes her feel so proud to say "I kept Piglet dry all day!" If the clothes can have something on them that makes her feel special, I think that's great. She has an AWESOME t-shirt dress that has a big picture of little girls playing baseball on it, and all the girls have rhinestone earrings. She thinks this is the greatest thing ever, and tells everyone to look at her "sparkly baseball dress."

There have now been two times where I've bought her something she really did not like. Once was a pair of red pjs with snowmen on them, bought because she loved her blue and pink snowman pjs and had grown out of them -- but for whatever reason, these new ones were totally unacceptable. She cried when I brought them out, then cried again two weeks later when I tried again. Forget it. I gave them to a friend with a kid wearing the same size. Then this summer I got her a bunch of tshirts, same size and brand, just different colors with different designs on them. All were ok with her except the one with the surfboard and convertible on it -- she said "that one makes me sneeze." Again, I gave it a week, she saw it again and said the same thing, so ok -- that shirt is now proudly being worn by my friend's daughter.

To me, this is a great compromise -- I buy the clothes, but I buy stuff I think she'll like (even if I don't like it particularly, like the character undies). If she doesn't like it, she doesn't have to wear it.

Right now, she will ONLY wear her sandals, which are lime green. Ok. Fine. Sometimes she wants to wear them with socks. Ok. Fine. With red socks. Ooooohhhhh kaaaayyyy, fine, I guess. With red and white striped socks. Knee socks. *sigh* Ok. Fine. I figure this is better than her being 16 and wanting to wear a thong bikini to a family barbecue. Perspective, right?!


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## UnschoolnMa (Jun 14, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *fiddledebi*
Something else I wanted to throw out there -- and I realize it's easy for me to say because my daughter is still only three -- but I try to buy her clothes I think she'll really like.









That is how we work too. I only buy clothes that I think they will like, and if they don't they do not have to wear them.


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## Shonahsmom (Mar 23, 2004)

I'm so not trying to be snarky or anything, but I guess it makes me sad that it seems like such a large percentage of mommas here are so preoccupied or consumed by their children's appearance and equate matching bows and socks and fully coordinated outfits somehow with good, attentive parenting (I'm being facetious, not literal).

It has been so liberating and such a learning experience for me to force myself to not force my will or ideas about appearances onto my dd. And I could give a flying leap what other people think about her appearance. I just wonder about the mommas that posted about it being very important to them that their children always maintain a certain standard in their appearances, do you consider at all the message you are sending to them or how it may effect their sense of self or even their self-esteem? I'm not flaming.. I am genuinely asking for your thoughts.

DD picks out her own clothes. I rarely buy her clothes without her being present and allowing her full input on what we buy. I love, love, love watching the outfits she comes up with... the other day she wore a bright rainbow colored striped shirt, purple leggings with a pastel pink, green and blue butterfly and flower pattern on them, navy blue sox with white sandals and a black Black Hawks hat that her uncle gave her. I love the way she rocks her own style and her personality and vibe just shine so bright and it makes me feel so damn good that I'm not imposing any ideas of beauty or fashion or matching.. I mean why the heck do clothes need to match and who the heck decided which colors match... what does that even mean?

My own personal style has become much less constrained and creative since dd started rocking her own outfits. Her style inspires me to be more playful and much less fashion conscious (not that I ever was too much).

I'm mainly bringing this up because I recommend just letting go a bit, because if you can get past initially feeling like "omg, how can I leave the house with her looking like that?" (which I went through silently on the inside early on) it starts to feel really good to be raising someone who is getting to be exactly who they are and is forming their own preferences and style and personality without any pressure or control to be someone else's vision or idea of what's presentable and attractive. And, as an added incentive, there are no power struggles over clothes, which on its own makes it worth it.


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## UmmBnB (Mar 28, 2005)

My only requirement is that the kid and the clothes are clean. Beyond that, it's really anything goes....although I do try to make sure that they are at least a little bit coordinated, unlike dh :LOL

I was walking in the park during my work day a few weeks back and ran into dh and the kids. I work in a museum which sits in a park just a few blocks from home. Anyway, upon seeing me ds wanted to come over to the Museum. So while dh and ds went to our space science exhibit area I took dd down to my office. She was filthy...dirty face, clothes, ick! I was so made at dh for taking her out of the house like that.

His defense was that he'd not planned on stopping by my office. To me it doesn't matter, out of the house I want my kids to be clean. < sigh >


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## UnschoolnMa (Jun 14, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shonahsmom*
to not force my will or ideas about appearances onto my dd. And I could give a flying leap what other people think about her appearance.









I am this way too. I mean as they have gotten older we have explained that other people often do judge, for whatever reason, by appearances but what that means for them and how they dress is personal. Many people don't like my son's shirts (*"Don't worry stupid. You can still get your GED" type messages. Which is totally funny because Dh and I have a GED, and both kids will too* :LOL), his baggy pants, or his stocking cap but he wears them anyway.

My Dd has chosen to wear a stained shirt to the store and to dinner before. Her choice, and if others do not like it they don't have to look


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## megbee (Dec 27, 2004)

i personally dress in odd/provocative ways, although lately i just don't have the time to put a lot of thought into my wardrobe, so i've toned down a bit. i think people expect/expected me to dress my daughter the same ways, but i don't really.

for the most part, i just make sure that her clothes match and she has two matching socks (one of my trademarks is mis-matched knee socks). i also try to dress her in colours that look good on her (she hasn't decided what her favourite colour is yet), and not necessarliy colours that *I* like. people buy her lots of orange things because i like orange, but she's more a pink and blue-type.

i hope i'm making sense. when the time comes for her to pick out her clothes, anything goes. as long as she's wearing more than rubber boots and a hat, of course


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## Changed (Mar 14, 2004)

> Quote:
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *Shonahsmom*
> ...


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## littleaugustbaby (Jun 27, 2003)

Shonahsmom and UnschoolnMa, you both rock!


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## mammafish78 (Jun 9, 2005)

my levi is 2 and way too grown up for mommy to pick out his clothes. it drives me nuts! i want to make him all cute but he has his favorite clothes. he loves the "im a big brother" shirt that has a picture of baby nash on it, and he insists on wearing it all the time. He loves his cowboy boots and beads...yes i said beads. a little girl gave him beaded necklaces and he has to wear them ALL the time. right now he is wearing shorts, boots and two bead necklaces. i hate it but he is happy so i deal with it.


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## mamajessica (Sep 15, 2004)

Knit cotton dresses with knit cotton pants (if it's chilly







).
It's sort of our "uniform" for dressing her because she is the spit-up queen and needs dry clothes several times a day!
Slightly OT, but I wear jeans, a tee-shirt and a zip-up hoodie every day. I think having a wardrobe for myself and DD that is basic is so much more SAHM friendly.


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## TinkerBelle (Jun 29, 2005)

I do not care if their clothes are perfect, but I refuse to take my children out looking dirty and unkempt. Now, sometimes they get dirty while we are out, but that is different. No bare feet, either. Before we leave, I wash faces and hands, and we comb hair. They have on clean clothes before we leave.


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## TinkerBelle (Jun 29, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *UnschoolnMa*







I am this way too. I mean as they have gotten older we have explained that other people often do judge, for whatever reason, by appearances but what that means for them and how they dress is personal. Many people don't like my son's shirts (*"Don't worry stupid. You can still get your GED" type messages. Which is totally funny because Dh and I have a GED, and both kids will too* :LOL), his baggy pants, or his stocking cap but he wears them anyway.

My Dd has chosen to wear a stained shirt to the store and to dinner before. Her choice, and if others do not like it they don't have to look










OT, I know, but if you are a homeschooler, wouldn't your children get a diploma? I am not snarking, I am really curious.


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## myjulybabes (Jun 24, 2003)

I'm somewhere in the middle too. I do generally want their clothes to match, and be clean, but I don't buy a lot of dressy or frou-frou clothes. Ds spent most of last winter in sweatpants with matching t-shirts. I gave up on matching shoes and hair ties for dd except when we are doing something fairly fancy. She's got a shoe fetish and whines all day if I don't let her pick out the ones she wants to wear. And she hates having her hair done. I only force the issue for gymnastics (it's actually a rule at the gym that girls with long hair must wear it up) and teeball. For ds, I try to keep his hair short enough that it rarely needs a brush, and stick to really basic shoes-- 1 pair of sandals, 1 pair of sneakers, 1 pair of dress shoes-- so they go with everything.


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## NightOwl (Sep 12, 2004)

My baby is 2 weeks old. I really like for him to have on cute matching outfits all the time, even just at home. I think DH thinks it's silly. DH has been doing the laundry since the birth and he died a small load of baby cloths a funny shade of blue green somehow. The white stuff turned out fine because now it's just pale blue green. But the yellow stuff turned a nasty puke green color. So, I was complaining that we were out a pair of socks when we don't have many. And DH was like, "Well who else sees him but us most of the time?" But I just can't bear to put those socks on him! :LOL

I really enjoying buying him cloths and cloth diapers. And I love picking out outfits for him. I like having the diapers match the outfits. I guess it is silly...but he looks so darn cute!









Now as for the hair...I think it's cute when it's messed up. He was born with a good amount of strawberry blonde hair. It is so cute and even cuter when it's sticking up all over the place.


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## sparkprincess (Sep 10, 2004)

At home I'm all about comfort. Ds is 13 months and spends most of his time in a diaper and nothing else. He's always been a warm little guy so why put unnecessary layers of clothes on him?

When we are out I dress him in simple clothes. Jumpers and stuff. Nothing fancy. I am more a stickler about him being clean and his clothes being clean and in good repair. Beyond that, I don't care.

It's funny because I LOVE fashion and I think it's sooo cute when I see little kids dressed up in matching outfits. I just can't bring myself to do it though because of the expense (they outgrow stuff so fast) and the hassle of getting him in and out of the outfits. I would just never have guessed I'd be so laid back about it!


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

Cute, comfy and used. Without logos, and in nice colors. I love quality cottons and I am all about Saver's Hannas etc. I'd buy a used and faded Hanna over a new gap *any* day. Even if the used Hanna/Boden/Oilily/Bateau etc was more $ over a sale Gap. There is no comparrison. My kids seem not to care about certain brands, although i always try to buy what is considered to be 'in style'.

I always look for the crappy Abercrombie shit for my teen and my teen dd has Limted crap in case she needs it.


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## wondermama (May 10, 2005)

I must admit to being a total slacker mom as far as my first child's clothes were concerned; I look at pictures of her now and feel a bit embarassed at some of the - ahem - outfits she wore (mostly secondhand, I really just didn't care that much and she preferred to be naked most of the time at home so I wasn't too focused on clothes). With my second (a boy), for some reason I cared more (maybe those pictures had an effect







: ). He was always dressed pretty spiffy, and now, to get me back







, my daughter is very particular as far as clothes go. I indulge her to the best of my limited $ ability (her fave is Hanna Andersson, go Ebay!).


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## The Lucky One (Oct 31, 2002)

At home, my boys wear mostly cotton gray or navy shorts and solid tee-shirts. On days when we stay home, I don't brush their hair or wash their faces unless they are really messy after eating or something.

They do have some very cute matching outfits, Hannas mostly, that I enjoy dressing them in when we go out. My oldest ds LOVES dressing like his brother!

Clothing has never been a power struggle for us. I literally can count on one hand the number of times ds1 has told me he doesn't want to wear what I've chosen for him. I don't know if it's because our clothing is fairly bland (ie no cartoon character shirts, etc), but we've just never had a problem.


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## shershine (Feb 23, 2003)

When buying their clothes, I look for comfort and quality. Mainly Gap, Gymboree, Hanna, some Target and I buy everything used except underwear. I don't but things that are terrilby stained but I know that they will end up that way in a matter of time and I'm okay with that. I kind of know my 6-year-old's "style" and try to buy things that I think that she would like. Usually I'm right on.







She's been picking out her own clothes since she was about 3. I gave up on "matching" long ago! :LOL She has her favorites, like her Hanna hot pink and orange plaid skirt. And she loooooves cheetah prints! She will wear sandals with sweats, tennis shoes without socks and flowered tights with a cheetah skirt. I love that she expresses herself through what she wears! I try not make a judgement on what she wears, as long as she doesn't pull it out of the hamper. But she will wear "dirty" clothes out and I have no problem with that if she doesn't. If we've been at the park all day and her clothes show it, that's fine. I will not ask her to change if we're going out to eat or the store or whatever. Sometimes now she will want to change when she gets something on her outfit, but sometimes not. The watermelon juice dripping down her shirt and the grass stains on her knees are just sometimes part of her day. We're certainly not out to impress anyone when we're doing our grocery shopping! :LOL

I have also been known to have my kids out and about with dirty faces. Honestly, I think that sometimes I just don't notice.







: My mom freaks out about it. I always tell her, if it bothers you so much then wipe it (if you can catch them first!)







For the baby, I pick out her outfits and I do have fun dressing her sometimes! She usually does "match" somewhat but that's because she lets me and has no preferences of her own. Though lately, she has been grabbing things and trying to put them on herself!







My kids bathe regularly (baby every day and 6-year-old at least 3 times a week). Their clothes are washed and taken care of. But honestly, I could not care less what others think of how they look when we are out. They are happy in what they are wearing and well taken care and that's what matters. If someone chose to think that I was neglecting my kids because they happen to have gotten dirty one day then that makes me sad.







Oh, and the same goes for me, I am KNOWN for spilling food on myself and sometimes my clothes show it!







I I will leave the house without brushing my hair too.







: And I love clothes.







:







:


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## lexbeach (Mar 6, 2002)

I enjoy dressing my kids, but I am going for the "funky" look rather than the "clean and coordinated" look. All of my kids' clothes are soft, 100% cotton, colorful and unordinary. Lukas is pretty particular about what he will wear, Jasper mostly couldn't care less. Neither of them likes to wear jeans. . . even the really soft stretchy ones. . . Luke's favorite color is pink, so anything pink, he'll wear happily. For the most part, their outfits (and mine) don't clash, but they almost always look unusual and different. People are always telling me they love my kids' clothes.

Sometimes I think we do all look like ragamuffins, but in my family, that's a term of endearment.

We also have some "rules" about clothing: must be gender neutral, no appliques, no brand names, nothing cutesy (nothing we wouldn't wear ourselves), shoes must be well made and flexible (barefeet are totally acceptable unless we're someplace where shoes are required), and no collars (too preppy).

I buy most of their clothes white and dye them in all sorts of odd and fabulous colors. Sometimes we do batik too. We have some hannas, and some consignment shop stuff, and some from growgrowgrow. I will be sad when I'm no longer allowed to pick out their outfits.


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## Village Mama (Jul 22, 2004)

My son went out today with shorts, gumboots and a hoody on backwards.... I pick my battles and this falls pretty far down on that list!


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## mystic~mama (Apr 27, 2004)

my approach is very relaxed...I let her be a free spirit and dress pretty much however she wants. She wears natural fibers, no black or really dark colors, no logos or tv characters and comfy are what I look for when buying her clothes and they all come from thrift stores or ebay occasionally I will pick up something at old navy.

recently while I was cleaning out her old clothes and she was trying on everything and a few of those items have ended up in her regular wardrobe, things like cotton pants that are now short capris or onesies that are now shirts. She loves hats and has all kinds, one is from Halloween its a fuzzy bear hat which she calls a dog and wears it all the time









Sometimes she looks pretty funky~ not in a bad way though, I luv to see the outfits she puts together...people do give us some looks but, I KNOW the kind of mom I am even when I lose it and get snarky with her in public and other people may be judging me for it and I dont care what they think. personally, i feel being very concerned with looks and what people are going to think is a waste of time, being true to yourself is what matters.


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## MoMommy (Oct 8, 2004)

I'm in the middle too, I guess. DD wears mostly dresses, because I think they are cute, but 95% of the clothes she owns were handed down from someone else or are from resale shops. She doesn't have enough hair for the bows, etc., but if she did I probably wouldn't remember to put them in very often. So I guess i want her to look as cute as possible with minimal effort!


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## aussiemum (Dec 20, 2001)

well, I guess we're a pack of ratbags at our house! :LOL

What they wear to school isn't really an issue as they have uniforms, but any other time they pretty much dress themselves. I will tell them if I think that something doesn't particularly go together, but I kinda have a hard time recognising that when I dress myself, so who am I to judge, really.









I do ask them to put on a clean shirt sometimes if we're going out & the one they are wearing is particularly filthy. And I have been known to wipe really large Vegemite smears off their face with spit & a hanky before we leave the car.







: (blame my mother, she did this too).

But in general, I don't mind what they wear as long as they don't mind what I wear.


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## augustashley (Jul 11, 2005)

I love to dress my two boys (ages 4 and 2) alike or at least coordinating... But it can get so costly--I shop a lot of sales, ebay, and etc. for their clothing... I wish I had as much as they do! LOL... It is just so much more fun to look in the kid section! My 2 yr old is beginning to be a "Spiderman" freak (where he gets it, I don't know!) and my 4 yr old is more into comfort clothes (i.e., no tags, soft, and very worn) and that is pretty much invariably what they wear at home.

They get lots of compliments (not why I do it!)... I just like them to look neatly groomed. Sandals, most of the time, and boots. I don't think that it looks neglectful to not have well-dressed children, but I DO find that most people you meet in public will treat you differently according to your demeanor and dress. Sad but true. Because my children already aren't in "preschool" and fitting the norm, I like to look as presentable as possible!


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## CindyC (Mar 22, 2002)

If it were up to me, DD would probably end up like me: hair not really 'done', clothes clean and casual. However, DH cares more about his appearance, so I try to put DD in something decent. If I know we are going out, I make an effort to find something especially cute and I try to do her hair. Not always successful on that one.


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## ladybugs984 (Jun 9, 2004)

My son usually matches. Usually because i buy him just plain blue jeans or khakis and just about anythign matches them. He sometimes wears socks but has started rippign them off his feed (he's 1 1/2 what can i say?) so usually its just shorts and sandles and a cute t-shirt.

His hair doesn't get brushed as often as i'd like and its super long. But its just too pretty to cut. I do get slightly annoyed when people ask about my "daughter" but hey, what can you do?


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## anudi01 (Aug 11, 2004)

: is really about all I have to say.

But really, I usually can't even stay clean myself with my DS around. And now, 38 weeks preggo, a SAHM, and no more maternity clothes left that fit...

It's pretty scary.

One day, I'll coordinate, I think. But then again I think "Who the He** cares!!!"


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## cutic (May 19, 2005)

The other day I was shopping in Target when I heard a nicely dressed woman telling her 3 or 4 year old daughter that she won't buy her a green skirt because it doesn't go with this or that. The girl seemed to be really upset about not getting the skirt she liked and I didn't like the tone of her mother's voice. There was no room for making your own experiments, fun and discovering your own sense of fashion. I wouldn't worry if my dd wanted to wear something that I don't like, I would let her wear whatever she wants. I remember having to wear clothes that according to my mom fitted me well as she thought I was overweight. As a result, I never got to wear some fancy fashionable and colorfull dresses my friends wore. I guess, I am compensating for this now, I love to wear all rainbow colors these days. My dd is usually dressed nice but comfortably and she can get dirty if she wants to. I dress her in her overalls if we go to play to the park but she has two nicer outfits and wears them to the mall.


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## Thursday Girl (Mar 26, 2004)

My daughter saw batman on something. I think junkfood inthe grocery store and she asked "Who's that mommy?" I told her it's batman. and she said she wants to wear batman. which i am so glad she didn't want the junk b/c she wouldn't have gotten it.

But she has really been wanting superhero clothes. Batman, Superman, and spiderman. I might have to check out the boys section as I seriously doubt I will be finding that among all the pink frilly fancery ( I made up a word) of the girls section.


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## Ellien C (Aug 19, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jewelysmommy*
But she has really been wanting superhero clothes. Batman, Superman, and spiderman. I might have to check out the boys section as I seriously doubt I will be finding that among all the pink frilly fancery ( I made up a word) of the girls section.

My DD asked for 'piderman clothes. And I'm a sewer, so I went to the fabric store and found this completely horrid spidey fabric. It's got these striped motifs with the words spiderman, cityscape, spidey eyes, spidey heads, spidey logos - blue, red, yellow, black etc. It's something else, let me tell you. So I'm going to make a classic gathered dress with white yoke and spidey head appliques on the white yoke. Ya' can't buy anything like that! DD is very excited about the dress. At 2.5 she still doesn't have much hair and I actually like her to be dressed in girl clothes. Now that she's using the potty she's started to like dresses.


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## mystic~mama (Apr 27, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cutic*
The other day I was shopping in Target when I heard a nicely dressed woman telling her 3 or 4 year old daughter that she won't buy her a green skirt because it doesn't go with this or that. The girl seemed to be really upset about not getting the skirt she liked and I didn't like the tone of her mother's voice. There was no room for making your own experiments, fun and discovering your own sense of fashion. I wouldn't worry if my dd wanted to wear something that I don't like, I would let her wear whatever she wants. I remember having to wear clothes that according to my mom fitted me well as she thought I was overweight. As a result, I never got to wear some fancy fashionable and colorfull dresses my friends wore. I guess, I am compensating for this now, I love to wear all rainbow colors these days. My dd is usually dressed nice but comfortably and she can get dirty if she wants to. I dress her in her overalls if we go to play to the park but she has two nicer outfits and wears them to the mall.









i think that is really sad


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## Shonahsmom (Mar 23, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *littleaugustbaby*
Shonahsmom and UnschoolnMa, you both rock!

















Thank you!


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## Shonahsmom (Mar 23, 2004)

my~hearts~light said:


> Quote:
> 
> 
> I wouldn't say you sound snarky. Wee bit judgmental maybe. Surley you aren't assuming that parents who like their kids to dress nicely aren't nurturing their innder self worth? I think that's a hige blanket statment and really unfair. Would you go in the diapering forum and say that? Babywearing? Are those bad mothers because their kids have cute diapers? Because they care if their kids has cute diapers? Slings?
> ...


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## katallen (Jan 4, 2005)

I just let dd pick or just grab some clothes that she usually doesn't object to and put them on her. I try not to make a big deal about clothes because it isn't something I want to put my energy into. I do put her hair up every morning, but that is because I am growing her bangs out and if her hair gets in her face to much she has a meltdown, but even then we have a lot of options, if she doesn't want it one way there are lots of other ways to do it. I emphasize keeping clean and having combed hair and clean clothes as much as possible, but the actual colors are not important. She is my child and will always be cute to me.


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## AtThePark (Aug 27, 2004)

I'm a total nerd with ds's wardrobe LOL! I spend a lot of money on his clothes - but buy only cotton, comfy items - and I love French stuff - Catimini and Miniman, Jean Bourget - I like them mostly because they still make him look innocent - I can't take the camoflage tuff stuff for a two year old (not my style) and I don't like him to look like his father.

I always give him input in what he wants to wear and when he's old enough to pick out his own stuff he most certainly will.

I have his hair all curly and long for the summer because once again I think it looks sweet for little boys to look like little boys not little men.

I spend a lot of money on my clothes too - so it only makes sense.

I also buy a lot from ebay and we are always at the park in the fountain, in the mud, eating watermelon and berries and other things that make a mess. I love ebay - I know lots of SAHM's make money that way and it is recycling sort of (I always try to reuse packaging when I resell).

I love seeing kids dressed like little free-spirits when you can tell they've picked out their clothes - but as a total free spirit myself I always liked looking neat, so until ds tells me otherwise that's what we'll go with - very cute, comfy, cotton, tree-climbing and sand-castle building clothes.


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## Ellien C (Aug 19, 2004)

Been struggling to find my center between Shonah's Mom and poster below:



my~hearts~light said:


> Quote:
> 
> It's now bad to teach your children to take pride in their apperance and hygeine?
> ...
> ...


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## mystic~mama (Apr 27, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ellien C*
I think I've landed in ShonahasMoms' camp and here's why:
As the mother of a girl, I'm very concerned that DD take pride in WHAT she does and WHO she is, not how she looks or what she wears.









could not agree more


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## Heffernhyphen (May 3, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CookClanMama*
I think when you're out & about & your children (or you) look like ragamuffins, it reflects badly on you as a parent. Now, I'm not saying I put on a full regalia every time I go somewhere (I DO have four kids, after all), but I do at least make an effort to be clean, neat, & presentable...make-up is optional, lol.

I have to thank you for this comment because it turned on a light for me. I'm embarrassed to admit this, but there have been days when I felt too lazy to "get ready" to go someplace . . . storyhour at the library, church . . . so we just stayed home. Now THAT'S bad parenting. For me to keep my son home from a positive activity because I was too vain to just toss on a tee shirt and jeans and let the world see me as I really look.







:

NEVER AGAIN. Better to be unpresentable and present than hiding at home. Ragamuffins UNITE!


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## trinity6232000 (Dec 2, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shonahsmom*
.. it is disregarding their own ideas on color and comfort and style and imposing your (not you specific, you general) own ideas of what is attractive and aesthetically pleasing and I personally find that to be somewhat of a diservice to a developing person. I think it sends a message that they are not entitled to or are only entitled up to a certain point to have their own preferences and opinions. Its their body, their comfort, their identity and I think it is an important part of developing a healthy and confident self image as well as the sense of independence and pride that children (i know mine does) feel when they choose their clothes and dress thenmselves. And again, I do recommend just giving it a try.. let your kids go all out.. totally uninhibited and unrestrained to wear whatever they want.. you (again not you specific) might be suprised just how great it is, how deeply pleasurable it can be to see them expressing themselves so freely.

Amen.







:

I thought of this thread yesterday when dd and I were in the car
on my way to a Doctor's appointment. My dd 5yo was sitting in
the back seat of the car, singing her little heart out to Mama's iPod.
Her feet kicking the seat in front of her with her rain boots, in 85
degree heat. Her shirt purple with white stripes, her shorts a bright
shade of peach, her socks pulled up to her knees were red and white
striped.
Yeah I wonder sometimes if people think I dressed her that way.
but I don't know them. Many times I dress her up, we match for
holidays and pictures. But for everyday, I love waking up and being
surprised by her latest fashion creation. In my life it's a harmless way
of giving dd responsibility and allowing her to be creative.


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## Heffernhyphen (May 3, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *moma justice*
she always looks cute, b/c she is a shining star and EVERONE can see taht no matter what she is wearing


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## trinity6232000 (Dec 2, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Heffernhyphen*
NEVER AGAIN. Better to be unpresentable and present than hiding at home. Ragamuffins UNITE!










That's the Spirit!


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## Heffernhyphen (May 3, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *my~hearts~light*
I hate to say it but I do hate to see dirty kids. It's sad to me because I know how society views kids like that. And they can't do a thing to change their appearnace or families financial situation.









: Society needs to mind its own business. Ugh. This kind of ignorant judgement just flies all over me. Just because a kid is dirty on any given day tells you NOTHING about that kid, his family, or his financial situation.

I babysit for a 3 year old and his 20 month old brother (whose parents both enjoy very comfortable jobs at the top of the corporate ladder). Every morning I take them and my 2 year old to some out-of-the-house activity: library, Museum of Discovery, zoo, park, etc. I get to their house at 8:30, we have breakfast, then I mash a wash cloth over a few select body parts, try to find three pairs of shoes and socks that fit, change diapers, fill three sippy cups and a mug of coffee, grab some snacks, keys, oh yeah, and the kids. Naturally by this time someone has kicked off a shoe, lost a sippy cup and filled a diaper. It's a small miracle that we all make it anywhere, let alone make it there looking good.


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## mystic~mama (Apr 27, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *trinity6232000*
That's the Spirit!



















((ragamuffins))


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## LunaMom (Aug 8, 2002)

My DD isn't a fashion plate by any means, but she usually looks clean and neat at the start of the day. I can't control what happens over the course of the day, though, and if she comes home with messy hair and paint on her clothes, I'm not going to make her change before we go to the library or the grocery store or whatever.

I don't pass any judgment on people I see with "dirty" kids. They could have just come from a fabulous nature hike or something!


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## mystic~mama (Apr 27, 2004)

I have never heard the term "fashion plate" before this thread


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## babybugmama (Apr 7, 2003)

There's good dirty and then there's not so good dirty. Good dirty is cherry juice all around the mouth, dirt on the knees and elbows. Not so good is green yucky boogers hanging down the nose into the mouth, caked dirt that is obviously days old...KWIM?

That said...I don't have a lot of control over dd's attire...I do...but she makes the choices for the most part (unless special occasion, etc). I do lay out options for her to choose from, so I guess to that degree I control it. But she dictates I want to wear a dress or I want to wear shorts...then I lay out options for that (otherwise I'd never get out of the house! :LOL)

Now...have to go back and read all the previous pages..only read this one...so I apologize if my posting is off-topic...


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## Ravin (Mar 19, 2002)

I put DD in a pair of shorts and a T shirt that don't horribly clash with each other. She has 1 pair of shoes, which she insists on wearing out the door whether needed or not. She also chooses a hat for herself in the morning, which she likewise insists upon (which is fine w/ me in the summer sun w/ her wispy blonde excuse for hair).

She's started bringing a pair of shorts to me some mornings, in which case I pick out a shirt to go with. I was putting her in dresses a lot until the sitter complained about her taking off her diaper!

So, I figure we're just a few months shy of her picking her own clothes. I'm pretty laid back about it.

She still doesn't have enough hair to do anything with. I am a bit compulsive about washing her face, especially in public, but don't worry too much about what she gets on her shirt--I save the change of clothes for when she dribbles a cup of icewater down her front or truly MESSY messes. A little sauce on her shirt or something is no biggie. Her DCP is way more fussy about that, and will change her clothes after lunch for the slightest things! I do usually put her in a clean shirt when we're headed out the door, though, and tend to feed her at home with no shirt at all.


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## LauraN (May 18, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nancy926*
On the other hand, while we were out Sunday we saw a family of 4 (mom, dad, daughter, son) all dressed alike in red, white and blue. That kind of freaked me out, I admit.

Give them the benefit of the doubt!!! We once went out to lunch all dressed in denim and white. The reason? We had just had a studio portrait done (you know the kind where you all have to wear similar colors). Under any other circumstance we would never be able to coordinate all our outfits even if we tried!

I've always delighted in choosing little outfits for my babies, but as they get older, they will be allowed to choose their own clothes. My son is already getting there--he has definite opinions about which shirt he wants to wear and which shorts are comfortable. So he picks most days unless he wants me to.

My mom tells how horrified she always was by the outfits my sister picked out when she was three, but b/c she was allowed to do it, my sister now has a beautiful, original but very sharp sense of style.


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## Sharlla (Jul 14, 2005)

Wes wears whatever he wants which typically means a yu-gi-oh shirt (he has 6 of them) and shorts. The baby wears onsies at home and when we go out little short/tank one peices. I shop at thrift stores but I always buy name brand shoes (Vans)


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## duckat (Jan 10, 2005)

We have a lot of hand me downs, then I hit the outlets to fill in. I try really hard to have neutral bottoms (jeans, khaki, olive) so that it doesn't matter what shirt I grab (works the same way for dressing myself







)
DS is starting to enjoy making decisions, so each morning I offer him 2 pair of shorts and 2 shirts, and he chooses. He can't handle choosing from a full drawer yet.
His hair is almost never brushed, but it's wavy so it doesn't really matter.
I think he looks quite cute most of the time in stripey shirts, shorts and sandals going out or a dipe and t-shirt around the house.


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## LauraN (May 18, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Heffernhyphen*







: Society needs to mind its own business. Ugh. This kind of ignorant judgement just flies all over me. Just because a kid is dirty on any given day tells you NOTHING about that kid, his family, or his financial situation.

I couldn't agree more! I'm much less inclined to feel sad for someone who's kids are dirty or mismatched but are clearly having fun than someone who is smacking their kids around, yelling at them to shut up or humiliating them in some way.


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