# ~Happy Third Birthday!~ Nov/Dec 02 Kids



## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Unbelievable-- They're turning three!!!


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Oh my goodness.

"I have a 3 year old son."

That sounds so strange... He still loves to be my snuggley little baby!
















Elwynn is so darn cute, Fern! I loved the hat and pants. I made the kids' costumes last year (a scarecrow and a cat), but this year we bought them. I feel so lazy!









It was nice to hear from Amy again... And where is Mama Jaz? And casina?

Zachary was a trip today. He was very whiny and clingy and generally annoying.







I had to give him my undivided attention today, and while I loved having a little love monkey attached to me all day, it was exhausting! He made me a bed of blankets on the living room floor and we pretended to sleep, and we snored. It was nice and comfy. Then he helped me cook dinner. (Dh hates that- he thinks the kids will get burned and scarred for life.) Do any of you let your kids sit on the counter and cook with you? Is this totally irresponsible of me, and completely dangerous? I tell them to be careful, don't touch the stove, but sometimes they get brave and grab a spoon and start stirring, or ask to shake in a spice. DH thinks they will end up in the burn unit at the hospital. What do you all think?


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## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

pardon me for not being around much, i just feel perfectly lousy :cry


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## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

Yesterday was Christopher's third birthday. We cooked what he wanted for dinner, and he received two CDs from us. His big present (skateboard, Yes! we are crazy) will come at his birthday party on Saturday. We got him the Laurie Berkner Buzz Buzz CD and the They Might Be Giants Here Comes the ABCs. He loves the Buzz Buzz CD!

David is miserable sick right now and I am hoping that Chris doesn't catch it. Thank God for Hyland Cold Tablets +C!


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Punk,







, feel better soon.

BeanBean had his first swimming lesson tonight. It was horrible-- he freaked out when the instructor touched him and wouldn't even calm down enough to tell me what was wrong for an age. He spent most of the lesson sitting by the side watching the other kids. Absolutely insane! I'm hoping that next week, things go better.

Leah-- BeanBean cooks with his grandmother all the time, nearly every weekend.







He absolutely loves it. I think she's brave.







The truth is, our kitchen is too small and cooking is more chore than relaxation for me, so I'm likely to be tense going into it. Grandma is much more relaxed (she actually enjoys cooking!) so it's a lot easier all around there. BooBah will probably start "helping" later this year.









It's amazing how much kids figure out on their own. When a child gets near a hot oven or stove, for example, they feel the heat coming off of it and learn very quickly not to touch it.







BeanBean's grandparents have a flat cook surface, but grandma showed him the little red light that comes on when the stovetop is hot, and he got it right away-- hot surface means don't touch. Simple, right? It's all good. Perhaps your husband is paranoid because he himself is uncomfortable in the kitchen?


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## fromscatteredtribe (Mar 27, 2003)

i haven't posted here before but ds3 turned 3 october 18th and I am with you wondering who stole my baby and put this giant in his place. he has little tantrums and tells me no sometimes







he is generally a delight and the talk of the town, and out of my four children the most empathatic and kind and sweet-natured but he is changing in all sorts of ways







and and hope mixed with that sadness and concern


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Carrie, we know how busy you are, mama!









I will still cook with the kids. I might be crazy, or stupid. Either way the kids love it. I can't even set foot into the kitchen without one or both of them following me saying "Up here!" (their command for being plunked on the counter.)









You know what I miss? Shopping for fluff!







Even though I am so happy that the kids are potty trained, I still miss trying new stuff. And I see all the ads here on MDC- I am so lost with all the new brands. That's one of the things I am most excited about when we have our next baby!









Have a good night, mamas!


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## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DecemberSun*








Elwynn is so darn cute, Fern! I loved the hat and pants. I made the kids' costumes last year (a scarecrow and a cat), but this year we bought them. I feel so lazy!


















i didnt knit the hat and pants, but i did add the stem and vines to the pumpkin hat







i bought them from the tp a while back and decide dthey would be a perfect pumpkin costume.

all is well here. i know how you all feel about having a huge almost 3 year old.. elwynn is seeming more grown up everyday. he is still such a little guy though.. i just love kissing and snuggling him. yesterday he kept saing " i love you sooo much" to me







and when he is being serious he calls me fernie not momma..









he is so looking forward to baby coming. he asks daily if the "baby comed yet?" and i tell him that he will know whan the baby comes. soon i hope!

BUt, he came down with a bad case of pinkeye last night so we are trying to clear that up before baby comes.. and im feeling a bit sick as well.. sore throat, sniffles..blah. so hopefully baby will wait another week or so now so we can all get better.


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Fern, is your baby's name pronounced "guy-oh"? Please forgive me if that's incorrect, but I have been DYING to know!









Sending healing vibes "Fernie's" and Elwynn's way...









Zachary says the CUTEST stuff these days, I can't even keep up with it all. I've started writing it down, and I want to add all his little quotes to a page in his baby book. We went to the mall today- the kids love to ride the carousel and play at the indoor play area, and I like to meet my SIL for coffee! So, when we got back I was just relaxing, scanning the Rosie Hippo's catalog, the kids were playing, and Zachary comes up to me and says "Mom, thanks fer takin us to da maw." It was just so sweet to be thanked by him, after the fact, not even asking him.








He just melts my heart!









I am going to thin the toy stash AGAIN before I start buying/ordering Christmas gifts for my kiddies. I am already picking stuff out of catalogs, and saving website in my favorites! Who knew playing Santa would be so much fun?


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## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

nope.. its said Ny-o the g is silent


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## PrincessCass (Aug 6, 2005)

Hey everyone just thought I'd join in with my soon to be three year old. He still isn't to thrilled about being a big brother but he's warming up to it. I can't believe how huge he has gotten since that first year. That first one was pretty rocky for us just about lost my lil miracle. Anyway quick question anyone elses almost three year old still not potty trained?????


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

Hola!

punk, sending you good feelings and a









also razi wants to send some more smiley's. here we go...






































































:














:


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Thank you Fern! I'm sorry I had it wrong. No one can ever pronounce (or spell) my name, either...

Thanks for the smilies, Mr. Razi! Zachary loves all the dancing vegetable ones.









Princess Cass, welcome.







Both my little ones are about 95% potty trained, only wearing diapers while they sleep. But if Jordan's not potty trained it may have something to do with his little sister being born, and all the changes going on... I'm no expert!









Zachary and Julianna both want a cat. They keep begging for one. Zachary calls them "titty cats".







: I really miss having cats around, but we live in an area with lots of coyotes so all of our cats eventually disappear. Which is weird because two of my neighbors have kept the same cats for years... Anyway, I'm afraid a cat would set off Zachary's asthma, but who knows.







I'm rambling...

How's your little bun in the oven coming along, Rynna?


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## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

hey i found y'all.

punk! i'm worried! we're here for you.

i loved your your post about strangers rynna. i haven't had a problem with that either. i suppose they just follow me, whether i am in a trusting mood with strangers or not. but really they have a built in radar, which has Always pointed out my better friends to me, and given me warning signals about new friends, and comfortable places.

cooking - well, that's my control issue and my tiny kitchen. ruby has been helping herself which is admirable and messy and scary. for three days she stood on the top bar of the step stool climbed into the freezer for frozen fruit, peeled bananas and added juice or soymilk for smoothies. now the blender is unplugged and each part in a different place. she filled my rice cooker with rice and a little water and plugged it in and turned it on. i got up to rice surprise kitchen floor. i already hide all the detergent and our stove needs lighting and the knobs are off.

clay has cut himself twice, once a year, helping himself to a weak knife and something tough like potatoes or carrots. remember, i cannot always be watching three people at the same time. he learned his lesson for awhile each time.

as discouraging as i am, i want them to be self sufficient and learn to cook. i told them they have to pick up trash and put clothes in the proper baskets for more official privileges.
but i have no problem with plastic lettuce knives you can get three in a pack at the dollar store, and they like to use the egg slicer for mushrooms and bananas and strawberries. and clay loves the hand mixer. i know i'm loosening up, cos reed has absolutely no interest in preparation though he helps himself to water and food depending on his mood.

ruby has completely taken over feeding our outside cat(s). but i run out of food quickly. at least she tries to sweep the porch.

last nite i was noticing at her vaginal rash and she was saying, "it hurts, mom, my hole hurts". me and dh stifle giggling. she took that to mean we didn't understand. so she gets a sippy cup and points to the top and obstinately says, "see, like this hole, and water comes out like my pee" and we are trying not to howl and i say "yes ruby, it is YOUR HOLE, but lets call this your vulva and this your vagina". which only makes another reaction from dh so i'm not sure she should wield those words after all. fortunately my boys were somewhat preoccupied or they would have maddenned the heck out of her about it. that's all i need, three kids shouting "vagina" in public spaces. for some reason, the shouting of "vulva" and "penis" and every other word "butt" do not faze me. the word VAGINA just seems more obvious and alarming to the public, but maybe that's just me?????

we did halloween. ruby was zooboomafoo with butterfly wings. ruby and her friend anna shared and ate all their candy as i surreptitiously threw stuff away in three segments. the boys i threw away a good third before they really looked at it then they ate half and we put it away for the next day, then they just fought over the rest and i threw away anything i could smuggle. i feel totally okay with being dishonest with them about it. and then it was gone. i cannot do the doling out thing.

ruby is still not diaper free. i don't have the will to take her to a public bathroom all the time or overnight and she gets occupied/lazy. she really likes panties though, so i figure it will work itself eventually. princesscass, my boys trained at the same time, one was after the 4th birthday the other not yet 2. they do need to be able, like pulling down pants and fine motorskill of attempting to wipe, and noticing their body. my 4 did get an ultimatum from dh, and this was just for poop to start he was over 40 pounds at the time and it just seemed ridiculous. he really just didn't think it was that important to change or that change was possible and at the time he was not regular and not noticing his body much at all. i didn't want to make a big deal because at least he wasn't holding it in like some little boys i knew. but i was certainly tired of it. but then, i'm a little tired of nursing two, and i still do it.

things are really good for me as the mamma these days, my attitude. our money situation is making me a bit ill. but i think i'm finally growing into some kind of an adult about parenting and family,and being me.....

oh, and i have hair again after five years, and have been putting on warpaint (makeup) and showering daily and got some clothes i feel good in (hey, no holes and chocolate stained tshirts) and some birkenstock boots and pierced my ears. this is a big change for me, to look in the mirror and groom, and it feels nice. the big catalyst was the weather finally cooling and me finding i had NO pants fit to be seen outside the house. last year i hit a size 8 and splurged on two jeans and a pair of cord for that. everything fatter i got rid of. now i'm at a 12/14 and none of my medium shirts fit either so i've been going back and forth to this thrift store that does exchanges and building a wardrobe. i'm vain enough to be caught with an apron cos i'm tired of looking ragged. it's hilarious to me and feels great, though a bit odd since i haven't done this since before kids.

i sure wouldn't call this reply quick.


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Oh, I'm sure he's baking quite nicely.







I can feel lots of movement now, but I still look (mostly) just fat, rather than pregnant.







I can easily forget that I'm pregnant these days, because I'm not sick and I'm not miserable and I can really hardly tell.







I mean, I'm aware of the warm, hardness underneath my fat flap, and I can feel movements but they could just as easily be gas...


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## abranger (Dec 15, 2001)

cooking- in our current kitchen GA stands on a chair at the end of the counter and 'helps' me cook dinner. She is too far from the stove in this position to touch it. She loves to help cook. I can usually find something for her to do, snap the ends off of the asparagus, put things I am cutting into a bowl, she is good with the salad spinner.

our kitchen demolition begins next week! we'll be without a kitchen for about 2 months. our new kitchen will be very GA cooking friendly. amoung other things we are adding an island. we decided to put the sink in the island so ga could have free range over there. there will be a bench for sitting and table on the back side of the island. GA will be able to stand on the bench and 'help' at the island. i get very nervous with her near our stove. we have a monster professional model with huge btu's.

potty- GA started wearing panties this summer but still wears diapers for sleeping. she wakes everyday with a wet diaper so i am in no hurry to push that. it's only been a month or so that she stopped waking at 4 am to nurse so i am in no hurry to add something else that requires me to wake up









I am thinking about taking a night away from GA with DH. We have never done this. DH went away for a work thing when GA was about 18 months. I went away over night last spring. I am really needing a break from her with dh. I haven't felt this before now. We are thinking of taking her and my sister (whom she loves) to our friend's (whom she also loves) farm in vermont. Andrew and I would leave sat morning and return sunday afternoon. Anyone leave their little ones like this yet?

I am having a huge problem with GA hitting/bitting/pushing me. It feels like an abusive relationship. She'll take out some anger on me, I will remove myself from the situation and her, then she will cry that she's sorry and want to hug and kiss me. I need a new pattern. Any suggestions?

Amy


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

casina, so good to 'see' you, i was glad it wasn't a quick reply.







i told razi that i had a yoni instead of vagina. he's already talked about it very loudly in the thrift store, which was embarracing enough.

i haven't really let razi help cook too much. mostly because i don't cook very well and so i try to make it quick. also mil kitchen is a cluttered nightmare. too many things to get into. last night razi had rice, beans, and cheese for dinner and he was showing me how he can eat like a cat. so he ended up inhaling a piece of rice into somewhere it wouldn't come out. he sneezed for a half hour!

princesscass, razi has been going in the potty since feb. but we've had total reversions periodically, usually coinciding w/ a big event. still in dipes at night.

Leah, if a cat can make it past 6 months or so they usually make it for years. I only had one cat that never got eaten growing up in sedona.

punk, i've been worried for a bit too! i was even thinking about you earlier this morning. sending good feelings and thoughts.


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## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

amy, that's very normal and that she is contrite is a plus. to develop a new pattern would be working to direct and solve her frustration before it gets to that. one can teach her an exchange of behaviours depending on what she is capable, ranging from her stomping her foot and saying, "i'm mad!" to saying, "mamma, i need help". some of it of course relates to our reaction. my kids hit dh to get his attention. it works and it hard to change because he is adept at tuning out and can even pretend he is listening and they see he really is not. i am more likely to get hit or yelled at if i'm doing something like talking on the phone, which i have usually go outside away from them to do. you might want to define what situations cause her reactions and work to decrease those frustrations. probably what has worked generally the best for me is to really focus my attention when they demand it but to behave loving and friendly, sometimes laughing. i have to imagine the big picture where i really am the big person helping the little one finding her way. see, i AM really growing up! they need validation to an extent, but they need us to be adults and define the boundaries.
this is an age where a you can tell them what to say. i'm in the habit of it now but it does feel very weird at first - looking them in the eye, addressing their name and then "say 'mamma, please make me a cup of water'" in the tone of voice you expect.
but then, i hardly flinch when i get kicked now. it is only abusive intent when we give it that, and it only hurts our feelings if we let it.

ruby just jumped off the grand piano. gotta go.


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

BeanBean is three today!














:









He had a great day making a mess in the backyard with paint and leaves.







He's in a great mood, especially now that he's taken off his clothing (somehow, being dressed hinders a good time, even when you're three!







). What a love.


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## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

Happy Birthday BeanBean!


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## abranger (Dec 15, 2001)

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## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

WOW! happy birthday eli!!


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

Happy Birthday Bean bean and Rynna!


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## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DecemberSun*
Then he helped me cook dinner. (Dh hates that- he thinks the kids will get burned and scarred for life.) Do any of you let your kids sit on the counter and cook with you? Is this totally irresponsible of me, and completely dangerous? I tell them to be careful, don't touch the stove, but sometimes they get brave and grab a spoon and start stirring, or ask to shake in a spice. DH thinks they will end up in the burn unit at the hospital. What do you all think?









I think that kids need to have new experiences all the time. I let my kids do all sorts of things that aren't "baby" things, because I think they need to expand their awareness of their surroundings. The sooner they learn how to cook, the better, I say







I don't want to be preparing every meal till they grow up. I guess that is part of the contuniuum concept idealology.

I just started reading the posts, and thought I'd respond to this question first. I'm off to read the rest of the posts


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## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

hey mamas, sorry to have worried some of you. i have been feeling really down for awhile, but I think I am begining to work through it all. i finally feel i have the energy to really post here, so that is a good sign, right?

sarita, thank you so much for your long pm. i am looking forward to writing you back









M. has been helping us cook for as long as i can remember now. she stands on a stool and helps stir, helps put things in the pot or bowl, sometimes she helps grate carrots (this is a new thing) she loves to help, and it just goes along with our philosophy of including her in all the day to day activities. she's never gotten hurt, we do remind her that things are hot and help her put her hand near the heat source so she understands.

We're still potty learning here, I'm in no hurry, I'm enjoying the way it is unfolding actually. It is nice that she is old enough to take responsibility (so to speak) she tells us when she needs to go, she goes in the bathroom, undresses, sets her seat on the toilet, etc. all i have to do is turn on the light :LOL

Hope Eli had a wonderful birthday!!


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *punkprincessmama*
all i have to do is turn on the light :LOL









This, for some reason, is a huge deal in our house. Mike is always turning the bathroom light off, and he doesn't understand why it ticks me off! Of course BeanBean doesn't want to use the bathroom if the lights are off, and he'll throw a fit rather than go in when he can't see anything.







We've got to get a nightlight for the bathroom.


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## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

Christopher loves to help me cook. I make sure that he get's a chance to pour things in, stir, or whatever else I think he can help me with that doesn't involve a hot stove. He has a step stool that he stands on. I would rather he had a learning tower but I don't have the $150 for it.

BTW just wanted to update everyone. We have an 80% chance of moving to Nebraska.


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

I'm going to continue letting my kids cook. I love to cook- I make a big production of mealtime, probably because that's how it was for me growing up. My mom gardened, canned, baked bread, there was always a pot of something yummy simmering all day on the stove. And I want my kids to enjoy cooking too. Also, it's nice to have someone to talk to finally while I'm cooking and sipping my wine







. That is one of my favorite things to do- invite friends over to help me cook a big meal, then sit down and eat it together, talking and lauging. I just hoped I wasn't endarngering the kids by letting them get so close to the stove. I don't want to get sued and lose my foster care license... I'll keep my eye on them, as usual.

Rynna, I hope Eli had a great birthday!








I bought a small lamp at Target for like 10 bucks that takes a nightlight-sized bulb. I put it on the bathroom counter and we leave it on all the time, so the bathroom isn't so scary. They're tall enough now to flip the light switch on and off, but it's still nice to have (and it looks pretty too!). They love hefting their time-out chair into the bathroom to use as a stepstool to wash their hands.







I really have to get them a real stool soon...

Been busy here. Crystal has major attitude. She's 9 going on 16. I was tickling her the other day and felt a hard bump and noticed she has breast buds.







I am sooooo not ready for puberty, but I guess she is...









Hope you're all doing well... I can not believe that in 3 1/2 weeks my son will be 3. It's just too weird!


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Heather-- Nebraska? What's up with that?

BeanBean really enjoyed his birthday and is looking forward to "turning three again at Grandma and Grandpa's, so I can have candles to blow!"







He's such a muffin. It's also really cute to hear him tell people that "I was three on my birthday!!" (as opposed to "I'm going to be three on my birthday" which he's been saying for the past month or so) all by himself, without me prompting him to put it into the past tense.














He's such a little man!

Leah-- I really like the little lamp idea, but I'd want something which BeanBean could reach but BooBah couldn't, and that could be a problem.







The light switch is way too high for the kids to reach, so I think I'll end up plugging in a nightlight which would also be too high but it would be on all the time, so







.

Stepstools are an absolute necessity in this house because I am short.







I bought myself one before BeanBean was even cruising.







He uses it to reach the sink now, and sometimes to stand on to help him aim better (he doesn't like to put the seat up for some reason, I think he's afraid it might crash down while he's in the middle...







). I've been reminding him to wipe the seat when he pees these days, that's our latest "task." I just wish that he could remember to use the toilet when he's not naked.







Anything on his butt makes him totally complacent, and if he's with anyone who isn't me, they won't remember to remind him to use the toilet every hour.







I think that Mike and the grandparents are a really big part of the reason I can't get him 100% potty learned.







: It's driving me up a wall!

This morning, I sat down in front of the computer to discover BeanBean's trick or treat bag and a ton of wrappers right under the monitor. So much for Mike watching his blood sugar, I know what he did last night! The punk!









Mike's been depressed lately. He hates his job, and he feels like there are people at work who are trying to get rid of him.







He's miserable about it. Of course, he won't actively look for a new job, he's afraid to leave because he thinks he'll end up with a job that pays even less and then we'll be... well, really







, not to put too fine a point on it. It sucks for all of us.







I'm not really sure what to do with him. *sigh*


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Birthday Cake!


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Great pics, Rynna. The kids look so BIG! They sure are cute.







I might have to steal your cool cake idea. Zachary would love that! He has a little obsession with airplanes and boats.

I'm in a bad mood right now. Just had to search the house high and low for Crystal's glasses because she decided to take them off and kept shaking her head "no" at me everytime I asked her where they were.







(Julianna found them for me on a windowsill!) Then DH called to report that the total for his car repairs will be $521!!!







: And the little ones have decided that they are too old for naps, which means I have no down time during the day and right about now they start getting crabby/tired/forcing their second wind to come about. Luckily my best friend just called and is on her way over, and DH is on his way home from work so I will have a break soon!









Rynna, I hope Mike finds a solution to his work problems. To me, there is nothing worse that hating one's job. Lucky for us DH loves his job and rarely does the same thing twice, so even when he works long hard hours he's still very happy to be where he is professionally. And of course I feel the same way about my "job", even on days like today!









Zachary can recognize the letter "B" because it looks like a butt







, he knows the letter "D" for his brother DJ and he's starting to recognize "Z" for Zachary. "M", "N", and "V" all look the same to him still, but he loves learning about the "affabet". He is starting to recognize his feelings, also. He just told me "Mama, I mad. I not happy, I mad at Crystal!" And this morning he told me "Don't yell at me, Mama. You make me sad."







:









Well, I'm going to go stuff my face with my yummy clam chowder that's bubbling on the stove right now.


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Once upon a time, I had a boyfriend who lived in Boston. When I went to visit him, he took me to Fanueil Hall to a spot in a little indoor mall-type thing and bought me a bread bowl of clam chowder. Ever since then, I have been desperately seeking clam chowder; I've never had anything that came even close, to the point where I have a difficult time recognizing some concoctions as clam chowder...







Ten years. I don't really miss the boyfriend, but I could go for the soup.









BooBah and BeanBean are also really into the alphabet and all sorts of other things right now! They're driving me crazy, but at least I can put my feet up sometimes with BeanBean behind the wheel.


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## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

Rynna, thanks for sharing the pics of Eli's birthday, I can't believe how big your kiddos are!! M. really likes Eli's cake too


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

That cake was a brilliant Grandma idea.














She did exactly what BeanBean asked her to do-- put an airplane on the cake.









So... have any of your kids given any thought to where babies come from? BeanBean is really bummed that boys don't have uterii; he says it's not fair that boys can't have periods and babies when they get bigger.







I'm not even sure how to answer that except with the totally lame answer "well, they just can't, that's just the way it is." It sounds like a total cop-out to me, you know?


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## **guest** (Jun 25, 2004)

Ooh, I haven't posted on here in ages. So hard to believe my little guy is almost 3. Wasn't it just yesterday that I help this tiny boy and patted his little bum. The little bum that fit in palm of my hand. Ack. so little. Now, so TALL!
Ds will be 3 just before xmas. (double presents, lucky him!).
He's not completely potty learned yet. He'll pee in the potty/toilet but does not have much luck if he wears underpants for long. He'll end up peeing in his pants. And he certainly will not do bm's in the toilet. Did it once in his potty and he was thoroughly disgusted by it. heh heh.

Someone mentioned alphabet and all that. Ds is actually sounding out 3 letter words. He knew the entire alphabet/phonics by 24 months. Academically, He is above average. However, he has issues elsewhere. He has a speech therapist (definitely does not speak as well as most kids his age); he has sensory and possible autism issues; and some developmental issues. (balance, coordination, etc).
I've actually been a bit down due to everyone 'comparing' ds to what 'normal' kids his age are doing. I'm getting so sick of it.
Just today, a few people looked at ds (in public) with the 'Look' in their eyes. The look is "What in the world is wrong with HIM?".
Ds has an extraordinary imagination. He is almost constantly acting out books or videos. And because his speech isn't great, it tends to sound like gibberish. So, they just think ds is spazzing out when he's actually acting scenes out. He does look a bit odd while doing it (Drama king) but it's so RUDE for grown ups to stare like that!







:

On a more positive note- Ds is super sweet! He's Mr Cuddle. Loves, loves, LOVES to cuddle and give hugs. Omg, so cute. He's a charmer. And what a sly grin! LOL. Yeah, he's always up to something.

Can't believe he's almost 3!
I had wanted to get him a real violin for his birthday because he is so in love with them. He has a toy one that he carries around EVERYWHERE (even to bed). His favorite videos are Andre Rieu. This boy loves classical music and really want to play a real violin. I have someone that would probably barter child care for violin lessons. All I need is the violin! And the money to buy it with.







I'm not sure if he needs an 1/8 or a 1/4 size.

Hey.....I'm BABBLING. Geesh, THAT never happens. rofl.
Gonna make some tea.

Happy Birthday to those who already had their 3rd!
Peace,
Liz


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Rynna, I make my clam chowder in a really weird way... It's still New England style, but I add bacon, carrots, celery, corn, and of course potatoes and clams. There wasn't a drop left after my friend, DH, DCs and I filled our bowls (and refilled them). It was soooo yummy. Sorry to rub it in, hee hee.









Zachary is always trying to fit into my belly. He asks me why he doesn't fit anymore. "I too big? I don't fit in there?" Then we pretend that he IS in my tummy, and he says "Put the punkin on!", referring to the pumpkin DH painted on my 30-week pregnant belly for Halloween '02.







We took a picture of it and we pull it out every year with our Halloween decorations, and this year the kids actually understood that there was a baby in that big round belly! We talk about how Zachary grew in my tummy, and got bigger and bigger until he couldn't fit anymore, and then I pushed him out. And we talk about how Julianna grew in Mama Jessica's tummy, and Dominick grew in Aunt Lupe's tummy, etc. They really get a kick out of it, and looking at their baby pictures, and talking about how they are gonna keep growing and be REALLY big someday!









For some reason Julianna does not like feeding her baby dolls "bobby" milk... She always hands them to me when it's feeding time!







I'm not sure if it makes a difference that she wasn't breastfed because every time she asked for a taste I gave her one, and she watches her cousin nurse... She doesn't want to feed them bottles either (







), she wants to feed them solid food or she puts them to my boob.









Speaking of Julianna, she just fell asleep on the couch next to me, so I'd better get my banking done (yuck!). DH has Zachary out and about, and Crystal will be home from school in awhile, so... Gotta get some work done, I guess.


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## abranger (Dec 15, 2001)

GA is obsessed with babies in bellies. During the spring and fall most of our friends had their second babies. She would say that everyone had babies in their bellies including her and daddy ....but NEVER me. She knows what that would mean







She likes me to hold the belly cast up to myself and say she was in there.

A good friend of ours told me her ds started talking one day about being in the belly and what it looked and sounded like. He even cupped his hands over his mouth to show her how her voice sounded to him. It was freaky you could tell he was actually remembering.

All this talk of 3 year olds makes me glad I have the youngest one!







I still have 6 weeks of 2!

Rynna - pm me your address....i'll send you some clam chowder from boston!

Amy


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## **guest** (Jun 25, 2004)

Ok, abranger, you have me stumped. How can you send Boston clam chowder to someone without it going bad?

Cool story about the child remembering the womb!

Hugs,
Liz


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## abranger (Dec 15, 2001)

legal seafoods

I think they have the best chowdah









Amy


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

OMG, you're the best!!

So BeanBean is (mostly) reconciled to the fact that he has no uterus, but it's still a real disappointment to him.







Is three too young to learn that life is not fair?


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

I think it is so cute to watch their little faces when they learn something new about their bodies. Like when Zachary says "Oooh, I have a stomach!" (Meaning he has a stomach ache.







) And when he eats he points to the anatomy and says "Mama, it went down, down, down my froat, in my stomach, and out my pee pee and my butt!"


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## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

now i'm wanting some clam chowder.

punk, what exactly is getting you down? i know when i'm down it becomes everything, but can you define three major factors we can help you work on? or ten? after 2nd was the worst post partum for me so i'm worried.

lizc, what kinds of things does your son do that makes people give you that look? i hope you can surprise me i'm a knowitall with these two boys breaking me in.

i've watched a few girls going through their 9,10,11s in the homeschooling group and it has just been fascinating and utterly frightening, making me awestruck to see from the outside how it was for ourselves and how it will be for our girls. they are all giant (and not necessarily thrilled about it) to a young woman size but are so mature and moody and such that i have to be careful what i say sometimes at the hen meetings.

so i'm going to brag. ruby is writing capital r's and practicing the the other letters of her name. she draws faces and has a breezy style. it's like i'm finally validated as a genius unschooling mamma HA HA like it has much to do with me - since reed won't read or write. i continue to be amazed over how individual each of them are.

kind of sad a little since ruby will be three tomorrow and i still want a baby. the opposite of logic. the biological imperative.

i crossed some kind of bridge this month. of all things, a random look at dr phil's book helped define some things my path has been going towards. my family is a team. my marriage is a partnership with a friend. being loyal to each other. i noticed i'm much less skittish about upsetting my dh and have for the most part quit blaming my problems on him. i'm getting into the habit of laughing at the tense vibes and saying, how can we work this out?
i know much of it has to deal with that i am finally recovering from being sleep deprived for 7 years. i still haven't nightweaned, and here i am staying up late, but it's better sleep nonetheless.

but i'm really proud of myself. i was raised on edge afraid of my dad and it was exacerbated with all the craziness in the past few years.

somehow this is also related to me reclaiming my vanity this month as well.....
soooo....sending feelings of wellbeing out there!

casina


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

casina, i totally picked up on the vibe! it seems funny that after finally coming to some sort of normalcy as a person (not just a mom) that one of the first thoughts is ''i want another baby!''. i'm totally going thru that right now. razi played with legos the other day for 2 hours straight and it was sooo nice, but i've been baby crazy!!

it got me thinking how i'm actuallly not really ready for another child. i feel so sad that razi is going to be so far apart from a sibling in age but i really need some untransitional time. it's especially hard now that it is almost impossible to get razi in a sling. i feel like a big reason i want another is just so i have a baby to sling. talk about a ridiculous reason to get prego!-lol!


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## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

well, i highly recommend 3 or more year spacing for overall family sanity. but then, i don't have that. and ideally that would be having a baby with ruby at 3, maybe clay at 5 and reed at 6? or 10? this is the longest i've gone without using a sling too and my sciatic nerve is calm but it is still weird.

y'know, i went to see harry potter with reed today, and it was a nice date.


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Happy Birthday to Ruby Mei









Z and J are obsessed with the hoods on their jackets. They HAVE to have them up. If they weren't so darn cute I wouldn't have the patience to keep putting them on everytime they fall down,








. The wind is blowing something fierce here at the base of the Goldfields, so that isn't helping. The kids have been kind of afraid of the noise the wind makes, I guess they've watched The Wizard of Oz too many times...

I have decided to get Crystal some little sports bras for my sanity. She wore a white shirt yesterday and I debated even letting her out of the house. I don't know if anyone besides me notices her little booblets, but I definitely don't want anyone else looking at her THAT way, so better safe than sorry I guess. I sure didn't start all this craziness at NINE years old, so it just blows my mind that Crystal is sprouting so early... AAAAAHHH!!!









I want another baby too. I think I will be ready in April when we try again. I am happy where we're at right now, with our little schedule and everything. It definitley would be hectic adding another baby into the mix when I'm just getting comfortable with the three I have, and all the baggage with the wheelchair, oxygen, etc. But I just can not imagine NOT having another one. I want to nurse, and kiss, and hold, and pat, and sling, and sing to, and study, and adore another one. And I am so curious to see what another one of our chidlren would looke like. Zach looks so much like his stepbrother it's scary sometimes, and he looks a lot like me when I was a baby. Actually Zachary is a cross between my brother and my stepson- he looks so much like both of them. And they're good lookin' boys, so that's a good thing!









Gotta go brave the crowds of a pizza parlor for my nephew's 5th birthday party. I told the kids we were going and Zach says "Yeah, and we can play games, and eat pizza, and run around all crazy!" Sounds like he's done thi before, eh?









Fern, I hope you are feeling good these days... Any baby news???

And Carrie, I hope you feel better soon. I have been feeling kind of low lately too... Maybe it's the west coast air or something? I really need to find some motivation to get off my butt, lose some weight, and start taking responsibility for how I feel, instead of trying to blame someone else (namely DH for not helping me around the house AT ALL...). If you need anything, please let us know. PM me if you need anything for Audrey- I have a couple boxes of baby girl clothes I could thin out, and I'd be willing to loan you some Fuzzi Bunz until I have my next one sometime next year. Take care of yourself!


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## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

: ruby!! and momma too









leah, no news.. no baby. i think she is going to stay in there forever!! at least it feels that way. im only 6 days past my EDD but it feels like forever!!


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Happy birthday, Ruby.









You know, I feel as ready as I'll ever be for #3.







I also can't imagine not having any more babies... the idea just freaks me out. In fact, I'm already nervous because the V word has come up in conversation. On one hand, I know that Mike's right: we really can't afford this. On the other, I just can't imagine not having more children, it just feels so fundamentally *wrong* to me, you know? I'm going to go







I'm sure.


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## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

i expected my body to reject this iud when i got it. and didn't really consider that a big discussion was needed to have it out....

hang in there fern. make it a meditative time, a space to enjoy your relationship with elwynn. i've never heard of babies staying in!


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

People think I'm crazy because of the kids I already have, and when I announce that I want more they think I'm even more crazy. They walk in here and see how hectic it is and say "God, I don't know how you do it", and they can't imagine why I'd want to start all over again with a little baby when Z and J are almost of school age. I guess it's just because I AM crazy!


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DecemberSun*
People think I'm crazy because of the kids I already have, and when I announce that I want more they think I'm even more crazy. They walk in here and see how hectic it is and say "God, I don't know how you do it", and they can't imagine why I'd want to start all over again with a little baby when Z and J are almost of school age. I guess it's just because I AM crazy!

















: Try telling people that you're going to homeschool.







:


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## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

well, i even get jealous when i see the families with six kids. i know that it is my body playing games with me. just figure i'll make my own durned village.

i'm having two families over and mil and a cake for ruby tomorrow, that's it. i haven't even cleaned up the house, and it is slobby cluttered. i'm trying not to care. we went to a park birthday party, i made a giant heap of spinach artichoke dip and baked potatoes, and we rented a movie. i can't be a scullery maid all the time.

i marked the height chart and she is my tallest kid yet at this age - 38.5 inches.

rynna, i'm sorry that your dh is feeling like he is in a bad spot. for us, dh is finally okay with whole foods though we want more money. but it was a real trial getting just to here. it would sap his energy just to think about getting a different job and he worried about whether his back could handle it. i think what did it was that he set a deadline, that he would need something different before his 30th birthday. it was a least six months that he set it, just to imagine the changes. i've tended to feel, ideally, that we can get through anything if we have to, and that it was not worth the emotional stress of living with and watching him hate his job and make himself sick and poison the rest of us driven by the fear of changing things.

but then, we did have credit cards with a bit of space on them. and i'm not sure what to do now, since the power company has been robbing us since katrina and we increase our debt with living beyond our means. before we had abt 300 month after bills for food gas and soap and such and 100 food stamps. i also made about 200 month cooking for my mil. well we are now over the earning limit for food stamps, but have 200 after bills and i quit the meals because i didn't feel good about the relationship. and we eat hordes of food and don't even get me started on how dh is even picker now that he works at wf. so i really need to figure some earning myself. i keep telling myself that not only will i not be counting every dollar, but then maybe i can really talk about getting a loan to add on to the house since my kids don't have bedrooms. but i can't psych myself up for it, to go get a job. i don't even know where to start. sometimes he works til 5 and usually crashes at 8. his days off change. at least two little sewing jobs fell in my lap this week....but now that i've written it out, i guess i'm going to just have to figure it out and do it, this part time job thing.
so, i can multitask major stuff right? get ready for a birthday AND figure fixing economic future in the next two hours?


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## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

thank you all for the good energy you are sending my way.

i will be back when i have more time (ha!)


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

I have had major drama in my life since Sunday... Can I get it off my chest???
We were supposed to go out of town from Sunday to Wednesady (Z, J, DH and I), Crystal was supposed to stay here with my sister Lupe so she could go to school. Well I should have known the trip was doomed on Sunday afternoon when we were on the road and my sister called to report that Crystal had fallen down the stairs at her apartment!







(Luckily she was OK, and it was an accident... but still...) Then I forgot to tell L to attach a note to C's backpack with her new cell phone number on it so the school could get a hold of her if need be... But I thought "Oh, it's only one day, I'll make sure she sends it tomorrow" and all day I had a feeling in the back of my mind that I should call the school and give them the number JUST IN CASE. And, you guessed it, they had been trying to get a hold of all of us all day because Crystal was sick. The principal of the school even drove over to my house!!! They ended up calling the freakin' paramedics who took Crystal to the hospital because she was too sick to stay at school and no one could get a hold of my sister... So, someone finally got a hold of me on my cell and I rushed back home as soon as I heard that all of this was going on. THEN I find out that the school called Child Protective Services on me because they feel that my sister is irresponsible and doesn't take good enough care of Crystal when we are out of town, and they were concerned that they couldn't get a hold of anyone in an "emergency". And, according to them, Crystal was sent to school filthy, with no glasses on, oxygen on the wrong liter flow, smelling of urine, with boogers on her face and generally just a mess. My sister's story is that she woke up 15 minutes before the bus got here and she had to get Crystal ready in a rush, and didn't realize that she was too sick to go to school. So now I have a flippin' CPS investigation on my foster care file forever!!!







I am so confused, hurt, sad, mad, angry, embarrassed, and just plain anxious about everything. I have a heavy feeling in my head and I just don't know which emotion to let go of first to feel better. I haven't sat down and talked with my sister yet, mostly because I don't even know what to say or where to start. So, please pray for me and my family. We need prayers that CPS won't do any further investigating, that the school doesn't hold a grudge, that my licensing agency won't be mad at me forever, that my anxiety will go away, and that I don't kill my sister today when I am forced to sit with her at the Thanksgiving table.














:














:
















I know I shouldn't have left town without someone for the school to call in an emergency (my mom, dad, SIL and I were all out of town, and they had tried to get a hold of all of us...), so I did 'fess up to what *I* did irresponsibley. But it was only ONE day they were left without a contact number, and it just happened to be THE day there was a problem (of course). And it just happened to be on the day when Lupe woke up late and rushed Crystal out of the house. But that still doesn't excuse the fact that she sent her to school filthy, and was rude to the school and hospital staff when she finally got her butt to the hospital. Anyway... You get the idea. I am thoroughly pissed and wish that I could go back in time. CPS will be coming back at 8am on Tuesday to see Zachary, because I guess they have to see all the kids in the household before the investigation is closed. He fell down while we were out of town and his lip is red so I only hope they don't think I'm freakin' abusing him...







:

I made stuffed mushrooms, a tray of summer sausage and smoked cheeses and crackers, and a corn/black bean thingy for the Thanksgiving meal today. We're eating at my mom's. I bought three bottles of wine, so hopefully they can offer me some escape from reality...

I hope you all have a great day.


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

leah, that sucks so bad , i'm sorry!


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Oh Leah,







I'll think happy thoughts for you today.


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## ekblad9 (Nov 21, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DecemberSun*
People think I'm crazy because of the kids I already have, and when I announce that I want more they think I'm even more crazy. They walk in here and see how hectic it is and say "God, I don't know how you do it", and they can't imagine why I'd want to start all over again with a little baby when Z and J are almost of school age. I guess it's just because I AM crazy!









Well, I have six and want more for sure!







I can't imagine my life without a baby in it.









And I'm so glad I stumbled upon this thread. My fifth baby, Jackson, was born in Nov. of 2002. I walked the pregnancy road with many of you and am glad to see you're all well.

Prayers for you Leah! That is awful.


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Welcome ekblad8.









Thanks for the support, mamas.









My mom brought up the whole subject yesterday because I couldn't, and my sister didn't say she was sorry, didn't even say anything actually. She copped an attitude and I ignored her most of the day, exchanging only a few words about her son as I held him. I mean, at least she could have said "Geez, I didn't realize I did anything wrong, but I'm so sorry this whole thing happened." I guess it's just part of being 19 and believing that you're perfect and everyone else has problems...

I feel a little better. My emotions finally caught up to me yesterday and I had a really good cry shortly after I posted here. I think it helped me let go of some of it. My mom helped me yesterday to. And we had a really good Thanksgiving meal, and my wine tasted great so that helped too.









My boy will be 3 years old in 8 days! I still can't believe it...


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## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

Happy belated Birthday to all the kids who already turned 3!!!









*************************************************

Leah, that is horrible what is happening to you. Even worse that your sister isn't at all responsible for her actions (or non-actions, I should say) I would be pretty damn mad if I was you. I can't believe that CPS will investigate this! I don't think that is warrented at all, but I guess they do things differently in the states. Don't they understand that sometimes people have a bad day, wake up late,forget things... etc. How rude of the school for phoning CPS on you too, jees







:








s to anyone who needs one!

~Jaz


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## abranger (Dec 15, 2001)

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Check out the Helper Mom/Needy Mom thread!

Amy

PS Rynna - did the chowder arrive ok?


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

It did!







I'm heating it up tonight, it was totally frozen like a brick.







I'm soooo excited!







You rock!

Leah-- I'll give my own sister a kick for you, she can take your sister's by proxy.







Okay, I'm just kidding... I would never touch my evil sister even with the bottom of my shoe.







:


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Good to hear from you, Jaz.









Rynna, eat some chowder for me!!! I am soooo jealous! I am a foodaholic! The size of my hips will show that!









My kids have been absolutely unruly today. I think they must be picking up my own anxiety because we have had way too much yelling, screaming, kicking, hitting, fighting, crying, etc. around here today!!! I'm loading them all in the van to go eat leftovers at Grammy's. Maybe the littles will sleep on the way there!


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## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

Leah







I'm thinking about you and your sweet family today.

Jaz, I'm so glad to see you here. Are you and the girls still moving out to the woods?

Fern, I'm thinking about you too







I have been reliving Aubrey's birth the last few days. She is five months old today!! Where in the world did the last five months go? She is crawling, she sat up yesterday and her first tooth is about to make it's debut. I'm amazed.

Casina, I've been thinking about your questions, and I really appreciate your concern. It's odd, but I find it really helpful to know that you all are thinking about me, wishing me well, even though we've never met, even though we live so far from each other. Thank you







I think I will post more about my feelings/struggles on the msn group when I get a chance.

I will say that I finally got a break yesterday. Dh took both the girls outside and I curled up in bed with my The Art of Happiness book, and my journal and I emerged two hours later feeling much refreshed.

much love to you all...


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## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

Leah


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Amy, the chowda was amazing.







Mike tasted it and said that he thought it was "good chowder," but he couldn't really tell the difference between it and the stuff that comes out of a can.







So he wasn't too offended when I told him to leave it alone.







BeanBean loved it, too.







It also gave me an idea-- maybe I can mail some Turkey Hill ice cream to my brother in CA; he's totally addicted to the stuff, but apparently you either can't get it out there or it's ridiculously expensive outside of PA (right now, for example, it's on sale at TH, 2 half gallons for $5; they do this every other month!). Hehe, that'd be a really cool hannukah present. I wonder how much it would cost to ship something frozen like that.







I'll definately be looking into it.









BeanBean and BooBah are super cute and loveable.







They're tons of fun these days. I'm really getting a kick out of them. BellyBean has been baking for 19.5 weeks; it completely blows my mind that I'm just about half-way to a new person. I had an ultrasound on the 21st and it wasn't reassuring as I wanted it to be, but I'm not seriously depressed about it... just a little bummed. I'm having another in December, and I was kind of hoping to avoid that.







I'm sure I'll get over it, especially if the next one goes well and I have good things to report.









Mike is still pretty miserable at work, although one of the people who was making his life extra miserable is now on maternity leave, so he's got a little bit of a break. BeanBean is pretending that the pack & play is "a cinderella kitchen." That's what he keeps asking me to buy for him-- a play kitchen, preferably a princess one.







If I had the money, I'd do it just to tick Mike's father off.









Do any of your little boys like to wear nail polish? BeanBean loves it, bright, sparkly colors on his fingers.. he just thinks that it's really cool. Well, Mike's parents are all tense and mean about it, and the last time that he had some nail polish on, SIL or MIL took nail polish remover to his little fingers! Then Mike told me that BeanBean can't wear nail polish to his parent's house. When I asked why not, he said, "He just can't, I'm trying to keep the peace. I talked to my mom about the music, and I think it's only fair that you remove the nail polish from his fingers."







: As if the two things are remotely related, but even if they are... MIL told me this weekend that she felt dismayed by my objection to the music, she said she feels like they're not supposed to "share their Christianity with the kids at all," and that's not fair because it's part of their heritage. I tried to explain that I'm not talking about *heritage* I'm talking about the present and the future. I don't think that she understood. At any rate, I think that they're being ridiculous and trying to push me in a direction that I don't really want to go, and it's so not fair.







Blech. Mike and I still haven't worked this out, he has no idea where I'm coming from and just doesn't get it.







I don't even know what else I can say to him!

To think of comparing the situations, nail polish on a little boy and proselytizing to him! Argh, they're so different! I'm so tempted to bring this up with FIL, and try to get him to say what he's really thinking (probably something about nail polish turning little boys gay







). I really want to hear the ignorance pouring out of his mouth, instead of just suspecting strongly that it's there. I also want to hear them say that they don't understand why I'm uncomfortable with them preaching to the kids, but I should understand why they're uncomfortable seeing BeanBean wear nail polish.







I really want to hear it come out of their mouths. Is that wrong of me? Am I just making trouble?


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## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

No nail polish here but then I hardly wear it myself.


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## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

ngaio was born last night just before 1am..at home surrounded with love. she was 10lbs 5 oz! and it was the most quick and intense and amazing experience of my life. elwynn was there for everything and was just incredible. he is in love with her and totally into being a big brother. there is more info on the nov.DDC if you want to check it out








thanks for your thoughts these last months


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Oh, Fern! Congrats! Welcome, Ngaio!


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

WOW!!! Congratulations Fern!!! I am sooo happy for you, and Elwynn! You got your little girl... And 10 pounds! Sheesh! Good for you, Mama, you're amazing.























Rynna, I don't understand- I think you are saying that your in-laws want to play Christian music (Christmas carols?) while your kids are around and you disagree? And they don't think it's right for Eli to wear nail polish? Well, with the music I'd try not to make a big dramatic issue about it because it's one of those things that can dig a deep dark crevice (sp) in your relationship with them. If it's something you're comfortable with, you can start explaining the differences in religions between you and the ILs so that it's something the kids are aware of. If it's something you're totally against then by all means stick to your guns... But if it's something that you can deal with I'd let it slide, as long as you're able to share the meanings of things, and help explain things to the kids. And that's what the ILs should so about the nail polish- let it slide even if it's something that they don't personally agree with. I always put clear, green, blue, or black nail polish on Zachary because they're "boyish" colors, and I don't give a 'flying duck' what people think/say about it. He likes colorful nails- that doesn't make him gay or weird, it just makes him a kid who likes colorful nails. Anyway, those are my thoughts...

I got almost all the X-mas shopping done. We are keeping it low key for the relatives since money is tighter than usual this year. I need to put my order through at Rosie Hippo's when I get paid again, but other than that we are DONE with the kids' gifts! Zachary is getting modeling clay and a V-Smile game for his birthday on Saturday, and I will be attempting to make a cake sorta like Eli's with an airplane and a runway!


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## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

Oh, Fern! She's gorgeous!!! Bet you're just lovin it up right now! I can't wait to meet her......


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DecemberSun*
Rynna, I don't understand- I think you are saying that your in-laws want to play Christian music (Christmas carols?) while your kids are around and you disagree? And they don't think it's right for Eli to wear nail polish? Well, with the music I'd try not to make a big dramatic issue about it because it's one of those things that can dig a deep dark crevice (sp) in your relationship with them. If it's something you're comfortable with, you can start explaining the differences in religions between you and the ILs so that it's something the kids are aware of. If it's something you're totally against then by all means stick to your guns... But if it's something that you can deal with I'd let it slide, as long as you're able to share the meanings of things, and help explain things to the kids. And that's what the ILs should so about the nail polish- let it slide even if it's something that they don't personally agree with. I always put clear, green, blue, or black nail polish on Zachary because they're "boyish" colors, and I don't give a 'flying duck' what people think/say about it. He likes colorful nails- that doesn't make him gay or weird, it just makes him a kid who likes colorful nails. Anyway, those are my thoughts...

If we were only talking about Christmas carols (once a year) I wouldn't make a big fuss about it. I'm talking about music that they play all year round with a deliberately Christian slant to it, despite being told by Mike quite directly and repeatedly that we disapprove. If they were saying, "This is what we believe," I wouldn't have a huge problem with that either (though it would be a bit irritating that they were talking to such young children about it...) but that's not what they're doing; they're saying "This is what IS." There's a strong implication that this is the only way to live/be, and thus that anything else (like what mamma and daddy do) is just plain wrong.







:

As to the nail polish-- left to his own devices, BeanBean would probably choose purple about 85% of the time. I actually bought a new bottle of nail polish after I threw away three old ones that he'd found and opened (when I say "old" I mean "much older than BeanBean;" I actually stopped wearing nail polish very early in my pregnancy with him because I couldn't stand the smell of it) and put on all by himself. We compromised, buying blue sparkley nail polish which came in a purple bottle (he wanted purple). The last time he wore nail polish, it was true red.







It's not the colors that matter to the ILs, but the fact that he was wearing nail polish _at all_. I just feel sad for BeanBean, because the decision was *entirely* his-- he loves the stuff, he really enjoys having pretty nails, and I can't see the big deal about it.







Apparently, though, in order to get them to turn off the constant Christianity propaganda campaign, I have to try to impose *their* gender stereotypes on my son.








: Like they're not making him feel guilty enough by trying to teach him that his parents will go to hell, they've got to take away one of the few and simple pleasures in his life.


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

That sucks Rynna. That is a really tough issue to deal with (religion), especially when you all don't agree. But in my opinion they definitely should not be teaching your kids that you are wrong in your personaly beliefs. Don't even get me started! I haven't the emotional strength for an argument like that, and I feel really bad that you have to go through it.









Well, I have more drama I need to vent. Being that my husband is a private investigator we have security cameras all over the house. Well, DH went into the office today and used their equipment to watch the tapes of when my stupid sister was here watching Crystal... I am so pissed off at her I could literally beat the crap out of her. First of all, when she first got here, before even bringing her son or Crystal in from the car, she went into my room and ransacked it- going through my closet, drawers, cupboards, you name it. What she was looking for I haven't a clue. THEN she put Crystal to bed and left here here ALONE for 2 hours!!! She left a nine year old kid in a house in a rural area ALONE, hooked up to her ventilator (she was sleeping, but still...) If there had been a fire what would have happened? The neighbors are close, but not that close! She left from 8:30pm to 10:30pm, and came back with a friend. Then the next morning, when she sent Crystal to school dirty and sick, the tape showed that she didn't give her any meds, no SVN, didn't suction her, didn't even wipe the pee off her butt- just got her dressed and put her in her wheelchair and put her on the bus. (That was the day the school called CPS on me because they didn't think the care she was receiving from my sister was appropriate or safe.) I am just numb because I am so overwhelmed with emotions. I can't handle one more thing!!! She has screwed me over (and everyone else in the family) before, but I thought she had grown up a little after she had her baby... Obviously she has not changed at all. My parents and I are going to stage some sort of "intervention" for her because she needs to get her shit together once and for all... Calgon take me away!


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

OMG, Leah, that's just horrible.







My sister's an evil wench, too, but she'd probably behave if she thought that there were cameras around, at least.


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## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

oh Leah, that is awful, Poor Crystal and poor you. What is going on now regarding the CPS case?

Jazz, I've been thinking about you a lot, how are you? How did the trip across country go? Are you and the girls still planning on moving?

Fern, I posted on your thread in the DDC, but I have to say here too that you have beautiful babies, I hope you are resting and enjoying your baby moon.

Heather, how are your plans to move coming along?


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Well, I got to meet WYNONNA tonight. If you like Country music, you'll know who she is. That cheered me up considerably...

Zachary turned three yesterday.







&







We went to a park with a choo-choo train that went all the way around a little lake with ducks, which of course the kids LOVED. Then we went to my mom's and had dinner/cake/presents with the cousins. Zachary blew out all his candles one at a time (which is amazing since all the other kids were standing so close to "help him" blow them out). I made a cake similar to BeanBean's with a runway and airplane. I have to call Cingular and complain because all of a sudden for some reason I am unable to e-mail pictures to myself from my cell phone, but as soon as I figure it out I will post a few pics of the birthday. We showed him pictures of the day he was born and we tried to explain why we were celebrating his birth day and all that. He was looking at the pics and he says "Mom, is that you?"
I say: "Yep."
Z: "You naked?"
Me: "Yes, because I had to push you out of my vagina. You were ready to come out of my tummy. And we were so happy to have you, see?"
Z: "Mom, we do that again?"
Me: (Laughing w/ DH) "No, once you come out of your Mommy you don't do it again."
Z: "I too big? I don't fit?"
Me: "Nope, and you're getting bigger and bigger every day..."

Anyway, I thought that was so cute! He is always asking me if he can go back in my tummy!









The CPS investigation is closed, as far as I know. They just had to come check things out to appease the school. My sister is still on my sh*t list and I want to kill her, but I think I'll just avoid her until time can heal me somewhat. I did write her a 4 page letter that made me feel a LOT better, after being stressed to the max for two weeks since this happened. But my mom said it was too harsh, so I may edit it. I may post a link to it so you all can give me your opinions because at this point I don't care how harsh my letter sounds- I trusted my sister with my CHILDREN and she betrayed me and that hurts profoundly deeper than words can say. And if you can't trust your own family, who can you trust???


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## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

quick questions mamas, what are y'all doing car seat wise these days? Mariah is an inch away from outgrowing her cosco alpha omega. Dh wants to get her a booster seat and pass the omega down to Aubrey who has almost outgrown her infant car seat. Advice please!!


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## abranger (Dec 15, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *punkprincessmama*
quick questions mamas, what are y'all doing car seat wise these days? Mariah is an inch away from outgrowing her cosco alpha omega. Dh wants to get her a booster seat and pass the omega down to Aubrey who has almost outgrown her infant car seat. Advice please!!

Punk? I am a car seat tech I can help but I have a couple of q's. Is Mariah forward or rear in your alpha omega? Is the height for that seat given as a total body height or as something like 'when top of ears reach top of seat'?

We have a britax marathon and GA is still rear facing b/c the weight limit rear facing is 33 pounds (and I saw all of the crash test fotage showing foward vs rear facing.) She is 29 pounds and no where near the rear facing height limit which for this seat which is the tops of the ears even with the top of the seat.

If you send me the model of your current seat and mariah's height and weight I can do some research for on this seat and possible new ones. The short answer is if you move on to the next type of seat she should still be in a 5 point harness NOT a belt positioning booster that holds her in with just the seat belt.

Amy

Amy


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

BeanBean is in an Alpha Omega Elite, rearfacing at 29 pounds, and his head is just about an inch under the top of the seat. I'm having a big crisis in my mind about when to turn him, and here is why:

Right now, BeanBean and BooBah are both rear-facing in the center row of our minivan. In the spring, we will add BellyBean to the mix. My original plan was for BellyBean's infant seat to go in the back row, because we'll be taking the whole seat out of the car to put the baby into it anyway and pulling it out of the back row wouldn't be all that difficult. BeanBean and BooBah would remain where they are until a) BeanBean was no longer under the rear-facing hieght/weight limits for his seat or b) BellyBean needed to be moved to a convertible. At that point, I would put BeanBean, forward facing, in the back row of the minivan and BellyBean next to BooBah in a convertible.

Here's the problem: BellyBean, like BooBah, may be the sort of child who prefers to see people in the car, rather than just looking out the back window at traffic. If that is the case, BellyBean will need to be moved to the center row very quickly and BeanBean, forward facing, to the back. Doesn't sound like a major issue, right? But it is... because _I_ will be the one putting the seats in the car, and I can't do that easily in my first few days/weeks post partum. In fact, I can't do it in the third trimester of pregnancy.







I'm cutting things close as it is! You'd think that Mike would be able to put the seats in, but no even after three kids, he's not confident in his ability to put the infant seat base in the van.







So this is all my job, and it's one that I don't mind but I'm really not sure how to handle it.









At this point, it's looking like I'll be turning BeanBean's seat around any day now, and putting it in the back row while the infant seat base goes into his current position.


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## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *punkprincessmama*
Jazz, I've been thinking about you a lot, how are you? How did the trip across country go? Are you and the girls still planning on moving?


Yes, I moved to a one room cabin in the woods. I have to chop my own wood and make my own fire. There is minimal electricity, no hot water, but there is a bigger cabin close by where my "landlady" lives. There is hot water there, and there is a woman with a 2 year old who lives in there now. I feel like a wild woman living there. It's very refreshing, but HARD. But I feel so much closer to my babies while there. Anyways, for now (december) we are "housesitting" xpartners house







: as he is housesitting someone elses place. So we'll be back in the cabin for the coldest month of the year, january (yipee!







) Oh well, winter won't last forever, thanks to global warming!









We went on the trip to Montreal, and it was ok. It would have been more of a "vacation" if we weren't staying with the inlaws







...

It's haeven's birthday, and the third anniversary of myself becoming a mother today







My BABY!!!! I read this amazing poem off of a thread dedicated to Jeannine parvati Baker (who just died on thursday







)
She wrote it, it's so beautiful and makes me cry....







:

*The Unfolding Lap

I AM MOTHER whose entitlement unlocks the doorless room
The home of a mystery that flays the soul's skin
Carving ego and rendering the oily mind into light.

I AM MOTHER who grows dreams in my belly
From my blood drinks the Tree of Life
Rooted in heaven until the birth quake
Splits me open in revelation and relief
And I awake from the nightmare of separation.

I AM MOTHER carrier of the secret told since the beginning
Hearth of the future, unfolding lap, volcanic breast
A daughter of uncertainty, the crone's executrix
The ultimate harvester of hope.

I AM MOTHER so hear me! Listen with labyrinthine ears
To the purpose of sound, sense the movement of your cells,
And the pulsing message from your bones that resonate with this;
Serve the Breath-Maker and be the BirthKeeper the Earth needs now.
Your mother will be so proud.
© Jeannine Parvati Baker
11 March 2005
Joseph, Utah*


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Happy, happy birth day Haeven Soleil!!!









I love this time of year when we have all the birthdays... Can you imagine when they're turning like 10???


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## Trini girl (Feb 3, 2004)

well, i don't usually post here but my Ming is turning 3 on sunday! she's doing very well. fully toilet trained/learned for a few months now. knows the abc's and 123's. and she's just smart! but! she is not a baby anymore which she readily points out btw. i'm hoping to get her into a preschool when she turns 4, hopefully waldorf. if we get a scholarship or something. cuz i want to go back out to work. i'm preparing her already and she says she wants to go to school. so we'll see.


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## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

jazz..i was thinking about you and haeven today







happy birthday to both of you. we love you!


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## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

fern! how wonderful! the vibe from your photos is syrupy intoxicating the way things get with a newborn where time almost stands still. (and i loved seeing how big you were yay!) it makes me nostalgic.


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## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

so i've been sicker than i thought, since i finally gave in and am on antibiotics and suddenly seeing how murky things have been.

ekblad, i see you are now 8!

so ruby continues to astonish and befuddle me with her girlness. and bossiness. and meddling.

clay has hives it has taken me over for the past two weeks. i'm finally at a point where i will either just give up and pretend they aren't there quit being freaked about everything - illness, temperature, soaps, stress, anything we have contact with, FOOD, or just bring him in for a steroid shot and hope for the best.

and i'm moneysick, i actually talked to dh about getting a parttime job willingly and turns out he doesn't really want the big change.

leah, it is terrible what happenned with your sister and disappointing. it seems that is just what she is capable of however. i don't think she has any real perception of how she has harmed you, as relating to shame.

rynna, i guess the question is how mike feels and your relationship with him. i know me and dh have to live with each other and have to figure things out even when we differ. although i have been working much much harder on forging my marriage as a team effort and seeing the worth of being loyal when facing situations outside my immediate microcosm. it looks like he is trying to appease both women and not siding with either you or his mother, or even himself sometimes.

for my parents and inlaws, at some point in age, and i guess with reed as my first, i stopped worrying about their judgments directly expressed to my kids. because they know they are to trust themselves and that if i have allowed it than it is okay. unfortunately that also means that my kids are prone to behaving badly, though justified, in situations where they appear disrespectful. and they think both grandmothers are a bit loopy. i guess i have also taught them to just ignore the annoying parts that won't go away, and we're working on being more civilized about it.
but it all come down to - if you are funky and judgmental towards my kid, that will damage your relationship with them (so, good luck with that!). if you express a differing, respectful opinion from what they have heard and they are willing to listen, i can work with that.

extended family stuff is truly weird though. holidays are a big thing for my dh's family, and it looks like this season there is a rift that will continue over here.

i scrubbed my front porch and started putting up decorations since most of the town seems kind of lacking in it and it seems a bummer. i debate the holiday thing every year. i realized yesterday that as a homeschooler, and in these times, i could probably not follow any general traditions and my kids be fine with it ultimately. i wasn't raised with any religion and have no affiliations. my dh was raised catholic but quit that since a teenager. i have felt deprived my entire childhood lacking presents or any ritual or parties for the winter holiday. so i believe in the ritual of something. and i'm a sucker for the idea of making a tree pretty. and the lights make me feel softer.

i have been working on a photo book so i guess if i find a place to put it i'll let y'all know.


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## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

we have all been quite sick here. yuck. The good thing though is that it has really motivated dh and I to start taking better care of ourselves and eachother.


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## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

We're getting lost here, aaaaaaaaaaah!!!

So I thought I'd revive us.









Punk~ sucks being sick. Hope you feel better soon. Really.







Here's some healing fairy dust for you









Hows everyone else, enjoying the holidays? Making/buying x-mas presents?


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## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

Thanks for the dust Jaz









It's nice having you around more again







I miss you when you are back home in the woods. I think about you and your girls a lot actually. Dh and I would love to find a place like that to raise our girls.

I need to get a booster seat for Mariah. Her head is only an inch from the top of the Alpha Omega she is in right now. I'd love some suggestions from you mamas.

Hope you are all staying warm and enjoying the season. We aren't doing gifts this year for a myriad of reasons. Well, we are giving a few home made gifts - beeswax candles and such. We aren't buying gifts though. I really want to do something for solstice, but I'm not sure what yet.


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## abranger (Dec 15, 2001)

Punk-

Regarding the booster just MAKE SURE that you get one with a five pont harness. There are some that start out as a 5 point harness then convert later to a belt positioning booster. That might be a good economincal choice for you

Amy


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## Mona (May 22, 2003)

hey mamas!
long time no post for me... /hide
haven't been visiting parenting boards at all for the past months, but wanted to check in here and say hi.
sounds like everyone is doing pretty good.

dd's bday is coming up and she is uber excited. she loves loves loves birthdays, and of course loves the idea of having a party for herself.









our biggest "thing" right now is weaning. i decided to day wean her, since she is still very dependent on nursing for sleeps and i didn't want to mess that up any more then it already is (she still is not the best sleeper.)
so she can nurse at night time and at night, but not during the day unless she gets a big ouchie or something.
needless to say it is not going well, and it is affecting her nighttime sleep tremendously. as in she nurses a lot at night and is sleeping less.
it is also making her less confident i think, tho i can't quite tell.
she wants munyas throughtout the day, and sometimes gets so upset.
i have given in for quickees, and she is relieved and satisfied w/ even 5 sec on both sides. i guess it is a control thing. which i totally understand.

anyway, we are having a really ruff time w/ it. i hope i can stick w/ it, cause it's driving both of us nutso. i'm not sure how long it is supposed to take b4 she stops constantly asking. or how i supposd to know if she is simply not ready to wean at this time. sigh/cry

any hints or suggestions would be welcome. 

 lisa


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Mona-- BeanBean is taking a temporary break from nursing right now.







I've told him that my milk will come back after the baby is born, and that when it does he'll be able to nurse as much as he wants to but right now it is too painful and there's no milk anyway, so why bother?







Once a week or so, he asks me if the baby is ready to come out yet and if there really isn't another way to get some more milk into my nursies (I think he wants me to pour it in?!); when I tell him no he sighs and talks about the baby and milk for a while and then drops the subject.







I'm not sure if he'll actually want to nurse anymore when the milk comes back (I'm not due until mid-April) but if he does, I'll be okay with it.

My BooBah is totally weaned, and shows no interest in nursing anymore at all.







I don't think it was because my supply disappeared; she's developed lactose intolerance and I think it was just her time. It's very strange to me, thinking about potentially nursing a 3.5 year old and a new baby, but not the 22 month old in between them...


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## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

mona~ I totally know how that can be







It sucks, big time. You just have to stick with it







I think it's more hard on the kids when you waver from your original "stand". I weaned haeven from about 2 to 2 1/2, and it was way too long, I think. I did notice a lessening of her self-confidence







but she's totally ok with it now. I definately had to listen to her crying/whining/etc. numerous times before she finally forgot about it.

I'd try to distract her, if that is possible (sure wasn't in Haeven's case), or as my mom suggested, give her an alternative, like soy/rice/goat/almond/oat/cow or whatever kind of milk you give her (in a bottle, or sippy-cup with a flexible spout) It seemed to work sometimes (the milk idea). Or else get you DP to take over when she's freaking out. I don't know how your family works, but sometimes papa can get the kid calmed down and divert their attention. Also, tell her that you love her, and give her lots of hugs, so she doen't think that mommy doesn't want her anymore (or whatever a 3 year old would think... hugs are always good)Well, that's all I got. HTH!


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## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

for those of you having weaning woes. rynna sorry to hear bout your weaned nursling. id be sad too.. how are you feeling otherwise? hows the babe? i almost miss being pregnant but not quite







2 weeks past due was way too long!

i so so wish elwynn WOULD nurse again! i have so much milk and ngaio sleeps a lot ( only wakes once in the night to nurse) and my boobs ache! elwynn will have no part of it but i do hand express some and put it in a cup mixed with other milk so he gets some of the good stuff








i did come to a point nursing him that i really wanted him to ween though and i think if i didnt have so much milk i wouldnt care if he did either way. but its so good for them..ngaio likes it though! i hope she nurses for a long time.


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Being pregnant is all right... the baby is moving a lot now.







I've got an ultrasound on the 19th, during which I will hopefully be told that everything is absolutely wonderful and I don't have to have any more ultrasounds during the pregnancy.









I'm tired and miserable otherwise, though. This time of year really blows for me in general. I'm trying to scrape myself together, but it's just not happening...


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Nice to hear from you Mona!









I remember when I was trying to get Zach to cut down on the nursing. He wasn't sleeping good at all, waking every hour or so kicking and wanting to nurse and then pushing me away. I nightweaned him first, and then he just quit one day. I'd tell him he could have tickles and kisses, but no "bobby". He didn't like it at first, but it really didn't take long for him to realize that he didn't *need* it, he just *wanted* it. That's really all it took for him to wean. It took about 3 days of him asking before he 'got it'. After he figured out that he could live without the bobby he turned into a complete Daddy's boy. I was actually very proud of him, and glad that he had nursed for so long...

Luckily I didn't notice any traumas incurred from weaning.







He actually seemed more outgoing and independent because he didn't have to be near the bobbies every living second. He spent a lot more time with Dad, which has been really great for both of them. And of course we all sleep much better now that Zach isn't waking us up every hour! Hang in there, Lisa, and go with your heart on this one. If you are ready and you think Kathrynn can handle it, then stick with it. But if it's too hard on both of you and you really don't think your DD is ready then you can just cut back the nursing instead of getting rid of it completely. Zachary still nurses for a few seconds here and there every few days. DH thinks he's "too old" for it, but Zachary says "No, Mama, I not a big boy, I a baby, I need the bobby."









Rynna, I was wondering if you were going to nurse all three...







You take care of yourself, Mama. Get plenty of rest and good food for the new Bean.









Have any of your DCs, ahem, LIED to you yet? Zachary just lied to me for the first time. We have some bubble gum on the kitchen counter and I caught Zachary scooting his stepstool up to the counter to get some. I told him "No more gum today, you can have some tomorrow." And he shouts back "I not gettin gum, I just gettin an apple!" (Our fruit bowl is right next to the candy bowl...







: ) But of course I knew he was going for the gum- we're out of apples! So, for him to make up a little story to lie to me... It was pretty creative! I wasn't sure how to respond, so I just repeated what I had already said and he eventually got down and told me I was a bad mama.







Both J and Z have "lied" to me before about things they've done/didn't do (ex: "Who made this mess?", J shouts "Zach did!" when I know she did it...), but I didn't think anything of it because it's a little different than actual LYING where you make up a whole story. Anyway, I guess this is a milestone I should write down in the baby book?


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## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

leah, elwynn hasn't "lied" per say..but he tries to sneek stuff.. he always says what he was really doing if i ask .. he hasn't figured out about not telling the truth yet. this morning he came and quietly closed the bedroom door then i heard a rustle rustle in the living room.. i went to investigate and he had a party bag from an event he went to the day before ( it had chocolate and candy canes in it) and i had forgotten to put it away and he was busily trying to unwrap one of the chocolates. i told him that sneeking stuff really isn't the best way to get what you want but i know its pretty normal at 3! i didnt plan on letting him eat that crap but i didnt get rid of it either so i figure its more my fault( for lack of a better word.. my brain is mush tonight) for not putting it out of sight.


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## Mona (May 22, 2003)

thanks for the advice and hugs mamas!
i will post more later about our progress or lack of :LOL


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DecemberSun*
Have any of your DCs, ahem, LIED to you yet? Zachary just lied to me for the first time. We have some bubble gum on the kitchen counter and I caught Zachary scooting his stepstool up to the counter to get some. I told him "No more gum today, you can have some tomorrow." And he shouts back "I not gettin gum, I just gettin an apple!" (Our fruit bowl is right next to the candy bowl...







: ) But of course I knew he was going for the gum- we're out of apples! So, for him to make up a little story to lie to me... It was pretty creative! I wasn't sure how to respond, so I just repeated what I had already said and he eventually got down and told me I was a bad mama.







Both J and Z have "lied" to me before about things they've done/didn't do (ex: "Who made this mess?", J shouts "Zach did!" when I know she did it...), but I didn't think anything of it because it's a little different than actual LYING where you make up a whole story. Anyway, I guess this is a milestone I should write down in the baby book?

















We actually had a discussion with BeanBean about lies vs. stories more than six months ago now.







What happened was this: when he wanted to nurse, or to have some medicine (God help me, but BeanBean *loves* taking medicine of any sort







) he would say that he was sick. "You have to nurse me right now, I'm _sick_, mamma!" in his absolute whiniest voice.







This would irritate me and drive me crazy, but I was seriously anemic and short-tempered at the time, so Mike sat him down one afternoon and had a long, serious discussion with him about lying. After that, he would say that he was sad when he wanted to nurse, rather than sick.














He did understand it, though, and we haven't had a problem since. If he says something that is blatantly false, I'll ask, "BeanBean, is that true?" and he'll say, "Nah, I made it up."







He loves telling stories and pretending, but he'll always clarify that he is pretending if he thinks that you believe him, so he's not trying to lead anyone on.







I don't expect it to necessarily last for the rest of his life, but for now, all is well.

You should know, though, that lying is actually considered "a good thing" in our society, that children who are most likely to be fingered by other children and by adults as "leaders" and "confident" and such are also the children most likely to be able to tell a convincing lie. They did this really odd test where they gave a bunch of 4-6 year old kids Kool-Aid made with salt instead of sugar and asked them to tell the person in the room that the Kool-Aid tasted good, and said that the kids who could look you in the eye and smile and tell you that it was were inevitably the ones who were considered to have the greatest leadership abilities.







I could totally see BeanBean doing it, and even taking another sip.


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

OMG...
DH just heated up some leftover lasagna for lunch and Zachary comes up to me shouting "Mommy, I LOVE to eat vee-gina!!!"







:







:







:






















I told him "No, honey, it's not 'vagina' it's LASAGNA!"


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DecemberSun*
OMG...
DH just heated up some leftover lasagna for lunch and Zachary comes up to me shouting "Mommy, I LOVE to eat vee-gina!!!"







:







:







:






















I told him "No, honey, it's not 'vagina' it's LASAGNA!"
































:







: Now _that's_ one for the baby book!







:


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Yep, that's my little pride and joy!!!


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## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

hello! my three have a cold, plus dh.
all that talk about nursing and weaning, and i notice that i'm a bit big right now. i'm at a point where there is only one definite nursing for either kid, which is before bed. a few months back i started sleeping at their feet. i guess i've been not so consciously weaning. but then i don't sit down casually much either. that's when they get me.

haha, i am a terrible liar, and i have terrible leadership abilities. my kids all lie better than me, though i know it when it is happenning so i guess i just see it as an experiment verbally and socially. reed asked me at this age, what is the difference between lying and a telling a good story? i never really got too far after that. i guess my "rules" express something relating to causing harm. is it actually lying if you know they are doing it right there? (and they know you know?)or just a big funny?


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *casina*
haha, i am a terrible liar, and i have terrible leadership abilities. my kids all lie better than me, though i know it when it is happenning so i guess i just see it as an experiment verbally and socially. reed asked me at this age, what is the difference between lying and a telling a good story? i never really got too far after that. i guess my "rules" express something relating to causing harm. is it actually lying if you know they are doing it right there? (and they know you know?)or just a big funny?

The difference between a lie and a story is simple: lies are told with the intent to decieve, stories are told with the intent to entertain. If you're trying to hide something, or to make someone believe something that isn't true, you are telling a lie. If you're trying to entertain or amuse someone, then you're telling a story. Very simple.







At least, this explanation works well enough for BeanBean right now... I can remember waxing philosophical about the definitions of entertainment and deception...







I was a strange kid.


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## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

My computer monitor is dying, I may be gone for awhile.

Leah, I think most of what you sent will fit one of the two girls, or will soon enough, kwim? Thanks again mama.

Happy Holidays mamas, you are all in my thoughts and in my heart







Take care.


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Glad to hear it, punk.









Depression has wrapped it's claws around me the past couple days. I think I'll try to take a walk in the sunshine before Crystal gets home from school...


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

Hi!! i've been computer deprived! i think about all of you and we will have access again next week.

thought i'd share: "mama, the fire will [email protected]$k and burn me!" as he was standing by the gas stove.

i know he learned this word from my MIL!! she has the worst potty mouth!


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## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DecemberSun*
OMG...
DH just heated up some leftover lasagna for lunch and Zachary comes up to me shouting "Mommy, I LOVE to eat vee-gina!!!"







:







:







:






















I told him "No, honey, it's not 'vagina' it's LASAGNA!"
























thats so funny! i love this age!

elwynns new favorite thing to talk about is how "ngaio came out of momma's gina. he tells everyone..i always just smile but i get the oddest looks..









elwynn has some "bad" words he uses in context.. he says "F$%k Out when he gets mad sometimes. i guess he has heard someone say F off or something but likes the out part better..i try not to make a big deal of it but some days he says it over and over and then it gets irritating..

time for a nap!
ooh! peek at the pics in my sig..ngaio.. i took some really cute ones yesterday


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## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

fern, she's so beautiful, if I do say so myself! It must run in the family


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## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)




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## Mona (May 22, 2003)

cute pix fern!!

so how much sleep are your 3 yo's getting now?
kathrynn is seeming to need less, but also still has trouble turning her brain off and settling into sleep.
so sometimes she gets a nap in, and other times it gets so late that i just keep her moving until 6pm when she can collapse.
she used to be getting a total of 12 hourse, but now it seems to range from 10-11.

the weaning thing is going ok. depends on the day and how much we have going on. sometimes she is going totally nuts for munyas, and i can't take it anylonger, so i'll give her 5 sec on each side. and she is totally satisfied w/ that.
i don't have it in me to just cut her off no matter what, as in theory i was really hoping to do child led weaning.








but, the night times have gotten a bit better, and over all the day times have too. i think it will just be a slow process , and i am fine w/ that.

kisses and love to you all-
lisa


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

I'm in the midst of trying to work out a schedule, and dealing with my own resistance to the idea... I think that BeanBean might be one of those children who would be happier going to sleep at 9 and waking up at 7, and that my own refusal to initiate a schedule of any kind might be partially responsible for some of his late evening miserable behavior...


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

It's a GIRL!!!


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## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

yay rynna! Grrls are taking over!!


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

YAY, Rynna!!! Congratulations on the A-OK ultrasound. I bet you feel a lot better seeing her in there, even though you were wrong on your hunch of carrying a boy!









I keep wavering on the baby fever vs. no-more-kids thing. I think I just need to have one more and get it over with- have all the screaming, crying, and money problems in a few short years, and then as they get a little older it will all start mellowing out (theoretically).









Zachary's favorite game now is "hockey sock" (hackey sack).


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

hi y'all!

yay! rynna!! i want a girl!!

so after all my talk about not ready to have another, my flow was a week late this month and i was totally freaked out and praying i was prego, then sad and relieved when i wasn't. i think there must be some correlation with fertile times and when i absolutely am so ready to have another.

fern, your baby girl is so beautiful and precious!

mona, i night weaned razi last april and until about a week ago (i'm not kidding) he would wake up every night and ask for "D" and when i would tell him they were sleeping, he would cry. i felt so mean. he is one serious boob lovin kid. anyway, i know it;s hard....









my slings were almost on the nightly news here but some people got in an accident so the cut it out. they interviewed the store that is carrying them and they talked about them but oh well.

goodnight!


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## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

rynna: congrats on the [email protected]! i love having a daughter.. but i also love having a son! they are both wonderful


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

thought i'd ask...i just got a pair of moss feet shoes in the mail and they are going to fit razi for about 2 weeks so anyway i was wondering if any of you want to buy them. they have a train and caboose and are size 2-3. i'm so sad, i just waited 6 weeks to get them







and razi is so upset that he can't wear his train shoes.


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## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

sarita~ those MFS sure are cute, aren't they? I think the only little boy in our family, elwynn, already has the same shoes, but maybe they are a smaller size. I guess fern should answer that one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Don't get me wrong, I think boys are great too. One day I hope to have a little boy







I just like to celebrate what I have here and now, and what I see a lot more of everywhere, female energy.









I see that you like to put those little slippers I gave you for Ngaio on her, hey fern. I'm glad you like them







So are we doing x-mas present x-change this year? it is too late anyways. I just hate to spend so much on shipping







It would be about $14 to send the package I have for you guys, and it wouldn't get there by x-mas anyways. Maybe we'll see you this summer at the folk festival









*Happy Blessed Solstice, mamas and babies!!!!!*


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## Mona (May 22, 2003)

Hope everyone had a wonderful Solstice. We had a nice little ceremony and kathrynn had a lot of fun.








she is getting very excited for her b'day and more yule presents. so much going on, i'll be glad when the holiday is over.

the weaning is going ok. she is sleeping a bit better at night, and has had some day time naps too. i am not being ridget about it, but allowing 5 sec munyas, which seems to really help her w/ the transition. i know for some kids making the break completely would be better, but that not seem to be the best way for kathrynn.
also, i am trying to make this as painless as possible for her. i am still sad i am not doing the totally child led weaning, but am trying to make it as pleasant as possible.

grats on a girl btw rynna!!! how exciting!

after all this time , i am still pleased just to have the one child. i don't invision having any more, or even really wnting more. shrug. 3 works great for us.









deep breaths for all of us this holiday season!!!

much love,
lisa


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

What are Moss Feet Shoes?

BeanBean's feet are getting wider again. He's wearing a pair of size 9 XW shoes right now; I bought them even though they were a bit too long (he only needed an 8) but they were the right width and they weren't uncomfortable. Yesterday, however, when I tried to put them on I had a heck of a time, and as soon as he could he took his shoes off saying that they were uncomfortable.







I checked his feet in the shoes, and he still has exactly the same amount of length (in other words, he still only needs an 8) but they were very tight cross-wise (he needs a wider shoe). This means that right now, he's probably measuring 8 XXXW. Again.







Now I'm going to have to find a way to buy him some Pedoodles, and that'll mean no swimming lessons....







What is with the hobbit feet?!?!

I hope everyone had a nice Solstice, too.







I told Mike that I thought we should celebrate Solstice, and was quite shocked when he agreed with me!














At any rate, I think I'll make an actual effort next year....














I also told Mike a bit about Saturnalia (as part of this year's "Christmas is a seriously pagan holiday with Jesus slapped on top" speech) and he took it better than I expected.







He may have even been reading!









I'm waiting until Channukah to give the kids presents; this year, the first night of Channukah happens to be December 25th, so it's not that big a deal.


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## abranger (Dec 15, 2001)

Happy winter holidays to everyone!






























We are heading to vermont tomorrow to our friends 200 acre farm. We spend every christmas with them. Her kids are 7 and 9 and they are so good with GA. My parents are flying in from SF and they will be here when we get back monday from vermont. Then tuesday is GA's birthday. I cannot beleive she is 3!!!














Three years ago at this time I was 2 weeks late hating life ...now i have this whole person living here.

Mona- I am right there with you on one child. This feels right to me. I have no baby lust at all. (maybe has something to do with my 36 hour labor







) Since I am 39 anyway I think one is it for us.

by this time next week I am afraid our house will like look a toy store exploded in it. Xmas, Channukah and birthday all the same week!







:


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

My kids are growing so fast. A pair of pants that fit Julianna a month ago are too short now. I have finally learned to buy shoes in a size bigger than she needs. She hates shoes because she is flat-footed. She takes them off every chance she gets, so we are constantly leaving them behind here and there.







The good thing is that she learned to put her own shoes on at a very early age, whereas Zachary STILL cries and says "I can't do it!!!"







Must be an independent girl thing.









I have to go search foodnetwork.com for some easy recipes for Christmas Eve dinner. I'm cooking for DH's family, and they are super picky and don't like anything tasteful or interesting. When I met DH he didn't eat anything good, it's surprising he survived as long as he did.







What fun, what fun!

I hope they find a slot to run your story again, Sarita.







:

Happy Birth Day to all the little ones celebrating this week. And Happy Birth Day and Soltice Blessings to Mukti and Rose, wherever they are...


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DecemberSun*
I have to go search foodnetwork.com for some easy recipes for Christmas Eve dinner. I'm cooking for DH's family, and they are super picky and don't like anything tasteful or interesting. When I met DH he didn't eat anything good, it's surprising he survived as long as he did.







What fun, what fun!









Yick! Mike likes to eat interesting things and so does his mother, but FIL when I met him (and apparently for more than 20 years before that) had been eating the same three or four things every single day. A few years ago when BeanBean was tiny (or maybe while I was pregnant with him) he picked something up from many many conversations that I'd had with MIL and Mike about infant and child nutrition; he decided that he would try to stop drinking milk for a while. He did, and within a week his life had changed... he was able to eat salad and vegetables and all sorts of things that he hadn't even tried before. Now he takes lactaid pills when he's going to be eating dairy, and his diet is much, much more varied than it was.







I asked Mike where he got the idea to stop drinking milk for a while, and he said that it had probably come from me; it just goes to show you that even when you think someone isn't listening or paying attention, the things that you do/say can change their lives.









Mike's mom loves food network and interesting food experiments. A lot of the time, Mike and the kids and I get to be guinea pigs, because she's interested in things which FIL and SIL can't eat.







We get to be guinea pigs for all kinds of fun food experiments, and MIL actually keeps a few 3-ringed binders full of recipes that she's printed out from FoodNetwork.com.







Anything that works stays in! It's great fun. This year's experiment was sugar free cranberry sauce (she also made regular). It was a huge hit with all of the diabetics at the family's Thanksgiving gathering, so she made it again for xmas. She and Mike polished off the leftovers at home.







The kids and I ate the rest of the regular stuff.
















BeanBean just showed up here with some graham crackers. He gave one to BooBah and tried to give me one, but I said no thanks. "But I brought us all a snack," he said. He wanted one, so apparently I should want one, too. He's such a love. I also love that he brought one for his sister without either of us asking; she happily munching right now.







It makes me feel all warm and squishy every time he thinks of her, even though he does it all the time it still feels special every time.







This has to be one of my favorite things about having more than one child-- the relationship that the two of them have is so adorable! And BeanBean is very excited about having a new sister coming.







BooBah just talks to my belly and understands that the new sister is "baby" and she is "big gurl."







Super cute! I can hardly wait to see how they interact with her!


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

rynna, moss feets are soft soled, you can check out there website. super cute but it took waaaayyyy to long to get them 6weeks instead of 3 like it said. i also was under the impression that they were wider than most others and they are not.

anyway, hope everyone has a good holiday and birthday time! we are celabrating tomarrow morning since dp had to work this morning and i don't want to do it on the actual xmas day, solctice a day or so late oh well. this time of year is always so conflicting for me. i 'm a bit of a scrouge and i can't quite figure out what to pass on to razi. i really want to get him gifts (and i do) but i can't stand the mania/commercialism of it all. then i have to deal w/ things like tavis's step mom telling razi that he won't get any presents if he isn't nice to her!!! i don't think razi likes her very much.

so the real big thing for us right now is that razi is going to start montessori in january. i'm really excited to have 3 hours to myself every weekday but also sad that he's growing up. i think he will do really well. i just don't have what it takes to homeschool. i think it is so great but razi is so social and think it's important to have him around other kids. okay, i'm rambling...


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

I love watching Food Network! I am a cooking (anmd eating) junky!









Last year when it was my SIL's turn to cook she bought a fully cooked ham from the Honey Baked Ham Company, with all the weird glaze all infused in it. She baked up some brown-and-serve biscuits, and heated up a couple of cans of plain green beans and corn and that was our Christmas Eve Dinner!!! For dessert she got a ready-made pie crust and poured instant pudding in it and called it Chocolate Cream Pie...









I love them all dearly, but, COME ON...









This year we've decided to go totally non-traditional and DH is grilling steaks and frying shrimp while I'm steaming crab legs and making herb-roasted potatoes, sauteed zuccini and squash, and salad. And for dessert I'm making a really pretty pumpkin spice trifle. I hope my nephew will find something he likes in the menu- his favorite meal is "hot dogs and puddin". I'm sure the nutritional value of that meal is high, huh? (He was formula fed too... I better not get myself started!)


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

when we go to dp dad's house we have dinner, atkins style...


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## abranger (Dec 15, 2001)

Food network junkie here. dh calls Alton Brown my boyfriend!

I've been abstaining though since I haven't ahad a kitchen for like 6 weeks no point in watching all of the great stuff I can't cook :-(

Good news is after tomorrow we'll have a working dishwasher, and the stove will be hooked up. We may have to be using the bathrrom sink though. plumber is having a hard time with the rediculously expensive kitchen faucet and sink ...of course nothing standard works with them. It'll seem like luxury ...we haven't had an water on this floor in 6 weeks either.

Amy


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *abranger*
Food network junkie here. dh calls Alton Brown my boyfriend!

I LOVE Alton Brown! He is absolutely hilarious!!! I love watching his show- I learn so much!

You're more patient than I would be re: the remodeling, Amy! Good luck, sounds like you're almost done... (Hopefully.)

Sarita, I try not to eat refined sugars and white flour and all that crap, but of course it's hard to escape it sometimes. The low-carbohydrate diet can be very beneficial and healthy, but the Atkins diet seems to take it to extremes I think. I mean, they say not to eat fruit- how can that be healthy???


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Is Alton Brown the one who does that chemistry-style cooking show? That's my absolute favorite, because I cook like a chemist...









BeanBean is madly in love with Emeril (who is quite the showman, which appeals to BeanBean's wild personality) and Rachel Ray (who is somewhat frenetic-- again, appeals to BeanBean's style. He and grandma watch Emeril together every weekend.


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## abranger (Dec 15, 2001)

Ladies-

I was interveived this monring about this by the AP and noe they are coming over to take a photo of GA nursing!!

Amy


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

Quote:


Sarita, I try not to eat refined sugars and white flour and all that crap, but of course it's hard to escape it sometimes. The low-carbohydrate diet can be very beneficial and healthy, but the Atkins diet seems to take it to extremes I think. I mean, they say not to eat fruit- how can that be healthy???

leah, the thing i have the hardest time w/ is the artificial sweetener but that is a whole huge rant ( i don;t like refined either but better than artificial) and atkins has helped them alot, they lost a lot of unhealthy weight but...then of course tav's step mom is drinking and i think that isn't part of atkins. i hope she doesn't as drunk as she was on thanksgiving







:

wow amy, i bet you can't wait!


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Yes, I agree, the artificial sweetneer is a scary thing. Unless of course you're a diabetic and you have no choice. Alcohol is not a healthy part of any diet... But that doesn't stop me, LOL... Cheers!

Amy, how exciting!!! Send us the link to the article/picture when you get it! You are such an awesome advocate, with all your political work and now this!


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

I vastly prefer real sugar to fake, although I have to say that during this pregnancy I have had a pretty heavy sugar aversion. Not as much as while I was pregnant with BeanBean, but enough to cut me back significantly.

Mike has been cutting back on sugar and simple carbs, not for Atkins but because he's trying to get his blood sugar under control.







It's extremely difficult right now, he's switched to a more expensive insulin regimen, is testing his blood sugar and frequently has to check his urine for ketones ($$$$) but I'm really proud of him, he's doing very well.







Removing simple carbs from his diet makes it more expensive though.. it's all such a PITA. He's a hell of a lot healthier already, I'm sure, and things can only get better, but good grief it's a lot of work!

That was one of my biggest problems with Atkins-- it's one expensive diet! I mean, I can't live on eggs!














Yeesh!


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

oh amy, i meant about your kitchen and then saw your post and wow about that too!

i totally understand a diabetic not having real sugar.

razi's birthday 'cake' was a sugar free peach pie and razi took one bite and wouldn't eat anymore!


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## abranger (Dec 15, 2001)

here it is i haven't found one with the photo yet but still looking


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## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

Hello everyone! It is so good to see this thread still going. Maybe some of you remember us my daughter Scarlett was born Nov.19, 2002. We moved back to Tucson about a year and a half ago. We have been MIA from MDC b/c of lack of internet, but now I am slowly making a comeback!
oh, and about Christmas dinner, my sister is cooking, and I said we should have a Mexican feast, tamales, etc...
~Anna


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## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

happy holidays to all of you!

lilmiss - you're here! how the heck are you? we've been wondering about you.

much love, casina


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## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

okay, here's the photobook slideshow. need quicktime. http://www.vimeo.com/clip=29733


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## Mona (May 22, 2003)

wow, what amazing pictures! thanks for sharing!!

blessings everyone!


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

razi got a planet puzzle and dp was telling him the names... "earth, mars, venus, uranus" and razi goes "my anus?"







a terrible terrible joke but we laughed pretty hard.

casina, i'm still trying to figure out how to watch your slideshow...







i don't know if i have quicktime.


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

That's why we've been very careful to say "UR-in-us" rather than "ur-AY-nus" to BeanBean.







He corrects people when they mispronounce the name of the planet.


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## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

Happy birthday..solstice..christmas...winter....ect ect to all









i have so little time these days to type anything







but here goes nothing..or something









its my little guy's birthday today. kind of bitter sweet.. i havn't had much time for him lately and now he's gone for 3 or 5 days with his dad and grama far away (about 6 hours from here) and im already missing him and he only left a few hours ago







ive never been that far away from him before or for that long for that matter and although i look forward to the time to reorganise and clean our house( get rid of some toys while he isnt here to notice..) and have some ME time.. i also hate the thought of waking up without him snuggled into my back and the thought of a whole long week without his bright smile..here i am im making myself cry when i should be glad for the break....








anyways..we had a fun birthday party this afternoon.. a friend of his shares the same birthday so we had a big bash and it was so nice.. we had it at a local activist community centre called the purple thistle and lots of folks came bringing food and gifts.

its been a pretty intense time these last 4 weeks. balancing being a new momma and an old momma isn't easy.. i have so much more respect for those with more than 1 child now that im experiencing it myself. it is so beautiful and so hard at the same time..


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## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

*Happy Birthday, Elwynn*!














We love you!!!!!


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## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

Contrary--opposite in nature or position. unwilling to accept control or advice Webster's Dictionary
Okay, I think I am legally going to change Scarlett's name to the above. It fits her perfectly. She is wearing me out. No matter what I say, she has to say the opposite. It seems like we are in constant battle. Anyone else experiencing this? My oldest isn't like this at all. And she is moody. One minute she's totally happy and then the next minute maybe she'll notice her blanket has a crease in it and she's pissed. There is no build up or inbetween all of sudden she is maaad. When she gets like this it is hard for her to use her words. Sometimes she'll scream for a half an hour before she is able to be calm enough to use words. Help!

We are doing well (except for the above







) Casina, thanks for asking. I studied Shiatsu here in Tucson and graduated from the Desert Institute of Healing Arts in August. Now I am working part-time and going to community college part-time. The girls are in preschool at a great school. My mom and my sister now live here too, so I have some support! It is good to be back, although I am not trying to spend as much time on MDC as I used to







.
I see some of you have had another little one or are expecting, congratulations!!


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## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

fern, just take it day to day, minute to minute. it is an intense adjustment. most importantly, take care of yourself (so you can take care of others).

i've had some questions about the slideshow and i don't know much about what to do if it doesn't work, since i've never made such a thing before, or used that site before. but yes, you need quicktime as opposed to windows media or realplayer.

my holiday was weird. but it snapped me out of my own funk, seeing how others were in worse states than i.


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## abranger (Dec 15, 2001)

Hello all-

GA is 3 today! We where laying in bed telling her all about the day(s) (it was a 36 hour labor) this morning and it seemed like a minute ago.

We've had a great week. Vermont for xmas/first night of chanukah. GA got way to many presents with this confluance of holidays/birthday. We need to find a better way to manage it in the future. Our house looks like a toy factory exploded in it. Tomorrow we are going to weed out old toys to give away. I am hoping she will help us so that she understands we are giving these toys to kids who don't have as many toys as she does. Does anyone know if that concept is too abstract for a 3 year old?

Now we are home and my parents are visiting from SF. With the kitchen renovation happening we are short one room and we were really already in need of one more room before all of this. Next week along with my parents being here, my cousins from Holland are coming with 2 of their friends. We'll have 6 extra people in this 2 bedroom condo! I may have to ship my parents off to spend the night at my sisters.

Happy New You to all of you momma's! I think GA is the last birthday so now we all have 3 year olds! Do we still count as toddlers?

Casina - your children are beautiful!

Amy


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## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

no, i'ts not too abstract. i mean, theydon't get ittotally but every year they will understand a little more. i think it's better to start these habits as early as possible. especially the toy attachment problem. some kids if you wait til five to get rid of anything they go crazy and hang on to every scrap of paper and it gets to be a battle. of course that's a parent thing in the end. i know a child that's nine that they have kept everything....yikes!


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GEORGIA!!

casina, that's a really good point about holding onto things. i have been so strict about the kind of toys that we have that _I_ have a hard time getting rid of things.

razi got a wooden play kitchen and so he didn't get a bunch of other stuff (i convinced the whole family to pitch in, in an attempt at diverting too many crappy plastic toys from coming in) it mostly worked.

razi starts montessori school in a week and it seems so weird! i'm going to have 3 hours a day all alone! my MIL is going to have him every wed. afternoon too. it's the nice thing about living w/ family, although she is driving me a little crazy. she's going to india for all of february so that will be a nice break.

it's been really rainy here and i haven't gotten out of my jammies in 2 days. i really need to motivate and take a shower...


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## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

So, I'm not going to have access to the internet, once xp(ex-partner) gets back from housesitting, which will be in a few days (So I have to go back to my one-room cabin with minimal elecricity) I was thinking that I'd like to buy some really good parenting books before I leave here. What would you all suggest for parenting books????? I'm interested in subjects including gentle discipline, un/home schooling, and you know, the good stuff. I know that there are some books that casina recomended, but I can't remember.

Thanks!~Jaz


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## abranger (Dec 15, 2001)

I highly recommend Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason by Alfie Kohn


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

The Teenage Liberation Handbook, by Grace Llewellyn. I know your kids are far from being teenagers, but this book is very helpful in terms of opening up the possibilities of life to you, as well as to teenagers. It's also just plain fun to read, even for me (totally not an unschooler).









How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk. Can't remember who wrote it, but it ought to be required reading for all parents, as far as I'm concerned.

Protecting the Gift, Gavin de Becker. I found this book very helpful, although living out in the woods this may be less of an issue for you... but it's still quite reassuring to read.

Odd Girl Out, can't remember who wrote it, but this book is *incredible* and I think that everyone who has anything to do with girls should have to read it.







There's another one called Surviving Ophelia which I've heard good things about, but haven't read myself.

Raising Your Spirited Child, another classic.









That's all that I can think of right now, unless you want specialty books (books about specific topics/special needs relating to children). I haven't wandered around the library as much as I would like to of late (I've only got 20 books out, a *very* short list for me!) so I haven't picked up anything new in terms of parenting/homeschooling recently.


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## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

Surviving Ophelia... is that a womens empowerment book?


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## abranger (Dec 15, 2001)

I have heard good things about both of these Ophelia books but haven't read either yet
Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls Mary Pipher
Why are more American adolescent girls prey to depression, eating disorders, addictions, and suicide attempts than ever before? According to Dr. Mary Pipher, a clinical psychologist who has treated girls for more than twenty years, we live in a look-obsessed, media-saturated, "girl-poisoning" culture. Despite the advances of feminism, escalating levels of sexism and violence--from undervalued intelligence to sexual harassment in elementary school--cause girls to stifle their creative spirit and natural impulses, which, ultimately, destroys their self-esteem. Yet girls often blame themselves or their families for this "problem with no name" instead of looking at the world around them.

Here, for the first time, are girls' unmuted voices from the front lines of adolescence, personal and painfully honest. By laying bare their harsh day-to-day reality, Reviving Ophelia issues a call to arms and offers parents compassion, strength, and strategies with which to revive these Ophelias' lost sense of self.

Ophelia Speaks: Adolescent Girls Write about Their Search for Self Sara Shandler
Publisher Comments:
An Instructor's Guide to "
Ophelia Speaks edited by Sara Shandler Note to Teachers Themes: adolescence, body image, sexuality, friendship, self-identity, family relationships " Before I began this project I had limited my perceptions to what I wanted to see; I saw my friends as others saw them- the high-functioning, popular, National Honor Society crowd about to enter the halls of the Ivy League. Sure we had problems, but we were basically healthy girls. That falsified vision was shattered by their contributions. With tear-filled eyes, I saw through the faÇ ade. With each essay my friends and acquaintances gave me, I became more shocked by the wide gap between what we have been told to think, what we say we think, and what we truly think. We regurgitate false pride on a whim, masking the reality of what we do to ourselves&#8230; the harsh reality of being young and female gnawed at me." - from the author‛ s introduction At age sixteen, Sara Shandler read Mary Pipher‛ s" style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">Reviving Ophelia, the national bestseller that candidly explored the unique issues that challenge girls in their struggle toward womanhood. Moved by Pipher‛ s insight yet driven to hear the unfiltered voices of today‛ s adolescent girls, Shandler yearned to speak for herself, and to provide a forum for other Ophelias to do so as well. And so she invited reflections from teenagers across the country, piecing together a complex, intimate picture of adolescent girlhood. A poignant collection of original pieces selected from more than eight hundred contributions," style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">Ophelia Speaksculls writings from the hearts of girls nationwide, of various races, religions, and socioeconomic backgrounds. Ranging in age from twelve to eighteen, the voices here offer a provocative, articulate, and piercingly real view on issues public and private, from body image to dating, politics to parents, school to sex. Framing each chapter are Shandler‛ s own personal reflections, offering both the comfort of a trusted friend and an honest perspective from within the whirlwind of adolescence. Sara Shandler is currently a student at Wesleyan University in Middletown, Connecticut. A former president of the Connecticut Valley Region of B‛ nai B‛ rith Youth Organization, she has led, represented, and influenced large numbers of adolescent girls. Questions for Classroom Discussion Why do you think so many girls were willing to tell their stories? Do you think the fact that the author is herself a teenager played a role in obtaining so many and such frank contributions? Shandler acknowledges that even girls who understand that eating disorders are dangerous secretly admire the " will power" of their anorexic friends. Do you agree with this acknowledgement? What do you think causes so many young girls to obsess about their bodies? A frequent element in the various stories of" style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">Ophelia Speaks is an overall feeling of inadequacy. Why might this pervasive feeling lead to such concrete problems as eating disorders, abusive relationships, self-mutilation, and addiction? Many of the girls who wrote about dark problems were, on the surface, " perfect" girls- smart, pretty, and popular. Why do youthink teenagers fall prey to such problems when they appear so outwardly happy? The author maintains that adolescent girls are caught in the crossfire between " where we have been told we should be and where we really are. Self-directed girls are sometimes lost." She uses a friend‛ s phrase to sum up the struggle: " I‛ m afraid of the sound of my own voice." Why might someone fear their own voice? Who or what is trying to silence that voice? The media is frequently accused of promoting unrealistic images and unattainable goals to society. What are some of these images and goals? Why are adolescent girls so susceptible to them? Why does the media persist in feeding these images to the public? What issues might adolescent boys write about if they were to compile a" style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">Hamlet Speaks? What kinds of ideals and goals do you think the media promotes to young men? What pressures does society place on its adolescent boys? Topics for Writing Assignments The writings selected for" style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">Ophelia Speaks are organized into five sections: The Body Under Assault; Family Matters; The Best and the Worst of Friends; Touched by Desire; and Overcoming Obstacles and Coming into Our Own. Chapters within each section are devoted to specific topics, and each chapter is introduced by the author. Using the following excerpts from the contributors to "Ophelia Speaks, ask your students to write about these subjects. Racism " In my heart I know that I am a good person, with a good heart. I will not allow someone else‛ s ignorance affect who I am and how I feel.But sometimes, I wish I were little again. I did not have to face a lot of racism. If I did, maybe I didn‛ t catch on. I didn‛ t understand it, because it was too cruel to comprehend." Stress " Who is to blame for my pain and suffering? Is it my mother for being the overly pestering parent and never getting off my case? Is it my school for giving me endless hours of homework? Is it society for trying to ruin my life? Or is it me for letting all these people and establishments get to me, and for taking it way too far? When it comes down to it, I put the stress on myself&#8230; I constantly worry that I am behind and then have to run (sometimes too fast) to catch up. The speed is both difficult and unnecessary." Sexually Transmitted Diseases " My throat was dry, as I said to the lady peering through the plastic window at me, ' I‛ m here for an HIV test‛ &#8230; .My blood has been at the lab for the past week. My body is tight and shaking as I walk toward Planned Parenthood to find out the results. I can only think, ' Nothing is worth this fear.‛

Another one I haven't read but my husband has and recommends is
Dads and Daughters: How to Inspire, Understand, and Support Your Daughter When She's Growing Up Sofast
by Joe Kelly

Joe Kelly also runs a nonprofit with the goals of fighting the images girls see in the media. He lead a boycott and media campaign against Abercrombie and Fitch for example.


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## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

im back, for a moment







:: haven't read everything yet, but wanted to say







y to everyone.

missed you all









and lil'miss!!!!! sooo good to see you back here, and mona too


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Hi everyone









GREAT to hear from you, lilmiss'mama!!!









We have the stomach flu here so we have been uke &







&







, and







. We are all so drained. But seriously, the only thing that sounds good in between bouts of nausea are the Christmas cookies on my counter.









Christmas was nice, and I didn't get sick until the morning after (I was thinking "I didn't drink THAT much, did I???"







). The kids got a lot of really great presents- I think people are finally getting the idea of what toys/things are good for our kids.







We got J and Z each a puzzle, a book, a wooden recorder, a harmonica and a bicycle. Zachary got a wooden airplane and Julianna got a cooking set for her kitchen, and a couple of little stocking gifts. My mom got them clothes, bedsheets and Care Bears.







My IL's got them weird useless crap, but they also got them Play Do so the kids were happy.









Lots of fighting with Z and J lately, which naturally makes me crazy. We have cabin fever from being stuck here sick, and it's Crystal's winter break from school. I am hoping Julianna will qualify for the preschool program at the public school 4 days a week. She needs some time away from Zach because she can't make her own decisions when he's around, she just follows him. (I think she's learn better without him there, and she needs to social time.) She can count to 10 but she still doesn't know her colors. She's working pretty hard on her puzzle right now so I'm going to 'help' her.









DH took Zachary on some errands for work, so it's just us girls. It's still hectic, but it's so *quiet*...


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

_Reviving_ Ophelia, that's what I meant.







Thanks, Amy.









Wednesday night, BeanBean woke up from a sound sleep and threw up all over Mike's side of the bed and the floor... for no apparent reason.








He tried to drink a little bit, threw that up too, Mike washed him, changed the sheet and put him back to bed. A few hours later, he woke up dying of thirst, drank 5 oz of something or other, peed and went back to sleep and he's been fine ever since.







It was one of those strange, isolated incidents.









BooBah's had horrible diapers lately, very pale and runny and they stink to high heaven... I've got no idea what that's about, either. She's not acting sick, she's just putting out the most foul diapers! If she was still nursing, I'd say that it was colostrum, but she hasn't nursed at all since October.







BeanBean also told me that while he likes to see my nursies and hug and kiss them, he doesn't really want to nurse again.







: I still think that there's a decent chance of him wanting to nurse when the BellyBean appears, but it's nowhere near certain at this point.. we'll have to see what happens. I can't believe it, though, here I was ready to triandem nurse and it looks like I might be nursing only one baby after all!


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## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

rynna~ My DD does the same thing from time to time.... throws up for "no reason" at all, and the next day (or 10 min. later) she's totally fine.

Thank-you both, abranger, and rynna for the great book suggestions! I'm going to try and get them


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

mama's, i'm having real problems w/ razi peeing at night. he's been day learned since feb. but not night which is fine except every diaper i use doesn't work. i have to change and wash all the bedding at least 3-4 times a week and it's getting kinda old. he wakes up once or twice before i come to bed to pee but in the morning we both wake up in a puddle. i've been using disposables for awhile cuz his pee was making the cloth reek. sometimes the diaper is almost completely dry and the bed is soaked. i've tried 4 different kinds of dipes...i've had plastic down under the sheets and i hated that and it made us sweat. i'm feeling fairly frustrated about it right now. any ideas? should i just deal? help


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Well HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
















I can't believe it's really 2006... Twenty-o-six... Weird!









I went to my best friend's New Year's Eve party last night and it turned out to be a surprise birthday party for ME!!!














All my family was there, and my friends, and it was very cool. I was surprised, and completely overwhelmed because I couldn't believe my friend had worked so hard to throw a party for me... I am so grateful for her friendship, I'm going to send her flowers right now, but I don't even know how to start thanking her for such a great birthday gift! She even made me a cake!!!









Sarita, I'm sorry about your pee problems... I mean Razi's pee problems. I hate to admit it but ever since mine were potty trained during the day we've been using disposables at nighttime. My only suggestion is to make sure "its" pointing down when you put the diaper on. (I know you know that.) Or maybe put a potty chair near the bed? My mom actually double diapered some of her foster kids when they got their tube feedings all night long... Good luck!

We're just hanging out today, drinking Mamosa's with the leftover champagne, watching the girls paint the afternoon away...

Love you all


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Sarita-- I would look into physical/medical causes for Razi's nightwetting problem. BooBah puts out an extreme amount of urine, but it's directly related to her kidney problems. My sister wet the bed until she was much older (like 13) because she had recurrent UTIs. Perhaps giving him some cranberry supplements might help?

Leah-- Happy birthday!

Happy New Year!


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

Happy New Year!!

My mil watched razi last night so tavis and i got to go have dinner and talk about only adult things (we talked mostly about possibly having another baby, LOL!)

Leah- happy birthday! sounds like a great party. doesn't it make you feel good to think of people doing sweet things for you like that.









still don't know what to do about peeing. i intuitively don't feel like it's a medical problem, but i don't know.


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## Mona (May 22, 2003)

a quick hello to everyone.
we've been sick the last couple weeks, so it has been a less then relaxing holiday, but i think we're on the road to recovery.


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## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

i wonder why we lost a chunk of this thread.

well, lilmiss, if it makes you feel better, i'm having a hard time with ruby being all screamy and such as well. it sounds like you are doing much better - i'm so glad.


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## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

Lost a chunk? Where? I didn't notice anything different.


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Sarita, I hope Tavis does agree to have another baby! I know you are ready, and you need another baby to







: .










Zachy loves pretending to cook me food, and he LOVES it when I pretend that it's too hot, too sour, etc. The crazier I get the funnier I am, LOL. I think it is so cute when he tells me "It's just peetend, Mom, it's not real..."









A message from the Great and Powerful Zachary: tnnnnnnnnbzzzzzzzcfvbobmkl


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

Today was Razi's first day at school!! He did better than me, I was bawling as i left. But while he was at school I finished the waldorf doll i meant to give him for solstice. Anyway, the other day tav and I asked him if we should talk about having a baby brother or sister. (he said sister). So when i gave him the doll he asked me if it was a brother or sister and i said sister, he started crying and said he wanted a *real* one. It was so cute and I can't wait to tell Tavis (might help convince him)









gtg before my computer freezes again for the 4th time!


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## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

Casina- It's not just the screaming that is bothering me it is the rage that comes with it. She seems to have so much anger and I don't know where it is coming from. It is very disconcerning to see my little 3 year old shaking with anger, with a red face and clenching her fists.


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## abranger (Dec 15, 2001)

do we have any knitting momma's here? I really need some wool socks for GA. I can't find them anywhere in her miniature size and I can't' keep taking her out in this frigid new england weather in cotton sox. i bought the smallest size smart wool sells and they are like tights. i'd pay for someone to knit me a few pairs

mil knits tons of sweaters for ga but socks are too small for her to do these days she's almost 80

amy


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

I've knitted wool-blend socks from the sock pattern that comes with Magic Stripes sock yarn.







Super cute! I'm actually working on a pair of tights for BooBah from a different, toe-up pattern. They're a bit harder than I anticipated them being, but I know that I've got a pattern around here somewhere that'll work for ya.







Send me a PM.

BeanBean has had horrible diarrhea for more than a week now. It may even be two weeks...I'm a bit embarassed to say that I don't keep strict track of such things. I mean, if he's sick he's sick and if he's really sick and I need help I'll get it, but he's been behaving quite normally aside from the diarrhea. Occasionally he will say that his stomach hurts him, but his bowels only hurt right before he has to poop; this led to quite a few toilet missess until he finally realized what that pain meant (







poor kid) and now he's actually making the toilet, even with the horrible, runny poop, about 75% of the time. He slept in underpants last night, woke up this morning because he had to go and made it about 2/3s of the way down the hall... then he came back to wake me up.







Anyway, we're drowning in horribly runny poop, and it's starting to take it's toll on BeanBean; he's getting kind of run down, even though I'm pushing electrolytes into him as best I can.







I'm starting to get worried.

I was pretty sure that this was a generic pooping virus; after all, BooBah had it a few days before BeanBean did (was just getting over it the night that he threw up-- turns out that that puking was a harbinger of things to come







), and I've heard a lot of people on these boards and in real life talk about having stomach viruses lately. I just figured something was going around, but a solid week or more of diarrhea is really where I draw the line. BooBah was only sick for three days.


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

Rynna, Have you given him any probiotics? Whenever we have anything like that I give Razi this stuff called Bio-k plus. You can get nondiary (not noncasien) in mango flavor and it's similar to yogurt. It works almost immediately for pain in the stomach and gut and maybe he just needs to get a boost of some good stuff to get him over the hump? It will be in the fridge section at the health food store. Anyway, that can't be fun...









lilmiss'mama, after we recently moved to washington, (from flagstaff, az) razi really turned into a mean kid for awhile. so bad, i just was really wondering what happened to my sweet boy. so i talked to him about it and it finally came out that he was mad at me for making him move away from his friends. after we talked he really mellowed out w/ it. so maybe you could talk to her about what she might _really_ be upset about. we didn't resolve anything, per se, but just having him tell me about it seemed to clear it up mostly.

amy, are you sure you got the smallest size smart wool? i have some that are perfect (razi is size 8.5 or 9) i got them at the thrift store so i can't tell you where they come from tho. good luck, i don't know what i would do w/o his wool socks. some hand knitted would sure be cute!


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## abranger (Dec 15, 2001)

i think i found the smallest but ga has freakishly small feet she has been wearing a size 7 since last spring









rynna off to pm you

i'll be away form the computer from fri to wed (that may actually be the longest I have ever been away from a computer i am embarrassed to stay) I actually argued with my boss this morning about this. I've been there for 2 years and never been REALLY on vacation. I've taken lots of trips (more than my share since dh is a teacher he has lots of time off) but this is my first time in 2 years to be leaving my computer at home and asking them to not call me. And they have known about this for 4 months!









Amy


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## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

Rynna~ That doesn't sound like much fun







I'll second saritasmiles recommendation, probiotics... make sure he's not eating anything sugary, as that lowers the immune system considerably (potatoes have a *lot* of sugar in them too, BTW). Hope he feeling better soon.

Abranger~ 7! that is small. My second DD, who is 18 months, wears size 7.







DD1 is a really big girl too...39 3/4 " on her 3rd birthday.








I'm tall too, so that's where that comes form.









Casina~ Can I ask you if you could tell me your book recommendations?









lil'miss~ Nice to see you back here. We (meaning the dec/nov 02 mamas) were getting pretty sparse here. we just keep chugging along, though


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

He did have some probiotics toward the beginning, even the good refrigerated kind, but we ran out of them earlier this week.







I've been severely (and uncharacteristically







) restricting his diet because I just can't take the pooping, but it doesn't seem to be helping much.







I guess I'm just gonna have to dig up some cash and take him to the health food store tomorrow for some more probiotics.

In better news, I found BeanBean a pair of shoes today!! He's been complaining that his shoes are too tight, taking them off every time we get into the car ("they were too uncomfortable, I had to...") and fighting going out just because his shoes hurt to walk in. I checked him out, and his feet haven't gotten any longer (he's still measuring just shy of an 8) but they have gotten *wider* since he last got shoes. Today we went to the Stride Rite outlet; I found out that they no longer carry 2XW and 3XW at all, there's only W and XW, and the XW was only available in two boy's styles (no girl's styles at all







: ). We tried all of the boy's shoes on that we could find, and even going up to a 10 XW they were too narrow; any longer and he couldn't walk in them at all.







After about an hour of sifting, he threw a fit and decided that he only liked the girl's sneakers with the pink butterflies and flowers on them. I told him that I'd be more than willing to buy him pink shoes if they *fit*, but of course none of them did. He was heartbroken when we left.

Anyway, I was driving around the outlets and decided to pop into the Secret Sneaker outlet. I was looking at the kid's shoes and picked up a pair for little girls and thought, "These look like freaking boats!" I brought BeanBean, he tried them on and fell in love; they were labelled 9 W but they are about twice as wide as the ones he was wearing before, easily a EEEE, and they fit beautifully. They were also on clearance, missing their laces, and one of the shoe's lights didn't work so I got a 30% discount and got BeanBean a new pair of leather shoes for $6.99!!!














:







It was all painless, took about 20 minutes.














Hooray for clearance sales, where all the "unwanted" shoes go!


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## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

brainfog - jasanna, what kinds of books? i have to admit, i haven't read much official parenting biblios in awhile.

rynna, y'all been eating alot of yummy oranges? too much acidic/vitamin c can encourage diarrhea.

i'm trying to get this house in shape for clay's birthday party and so i can set up his new computer (YIKES!) i already needed to do it since we are no longer feeling sick and it's the new year and there are logistic problems.....like the kids need their own rooms??? and somehow i will partition one room into four spaces???? but it's been nice languishing when feeling well, especially with the crazy nice weather down here. today they complained that they were hot in the van, in which every time a little voice in me says i need to move away to a temperate climate.

ruby is still fantastic and tall and screechy. she does things that just confound me, like when we wrapped holiday gifts she just took the scissors and held them still and ran them across to slice the paper. so there's my brag. on the downside, i ask her to quit her hollering alot and her contrariness makes me grit my teeth. she really tries to tell me how to run my life and it has infected the others.

shoes - ruby will wear something she thinks is pretty. clay is just starting to understand he has the power to run in trainers. but otherwise they will always prefer a clog or slipper, the less confining the better, and the easier to put on and kick off. there are periods where they have liked rubber boots for the simplicity as well. i'm generally the same way. once i can find a shoe they can fit and tolerate i am just grateful relieved ecstatic until i can find another. i do get irritated because my kids do prefer larger clogs that make them clumsy especially when they are tired. and of course my 1st and 3rd have ultra wide thick feet and 2nd has narrow ones. but i'm not keen on doing ultimate shoe battle, yet. maybe it's because my great great grandmothers had their feet bound, and my dad never allowed sandals until i was in my teens. i must respect the foot.

i've been knitting a sweater for reed, my first large garment. probably won't get to learning socks til next year. i find it hard to knit in this climate unless the weather demands it.

amy, enjoy your time away from the computer! at least it is long enough for you to get over the compulsive need, and you will be busy enjoying your vacation.


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## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *casina*
...... what kinds of books? i have to admit, i haven't read much official parenting biblios in awhile.


I had a post, a few pages back, asking for some good titles for gentle discipline books. That must be part of the chunk you missed


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Casina-- BeanBean doesn't eat oranges because they cause his eczema.







He also doesn't get a lot of juice, orange or any other kind, because I'm really into dental care these days (having 15 cavities and no dental insurance will do that to a person







) and don't want the kids getting tooth-rot in a cup.







This leaves me with tons of WIC juice that we drink very, very, very slowly...







Totally insane, but what are ya gonna do?







I actually gave some to churces that were collecting for hurricane victims. I'm thinking of selling the rest to my mom in exchange for things like detergent.







We'll see what happens.


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Anna- Julianna has major attitude all the time. She acts shy with strangers but with us she is "Little Miss Assertive". She still follows Zachary's lead most of the time, but when she wants something she is going to get it no matter what, when, where, or how... I think it is just a GRRL thing (if I may steal your term, Jaz!







). Sometimes I ask Julianna why she is always screaming and crying, it's like she's always in a bad mood, but I know it is just her way of getting her point across... It is difficult, stressful, loud, annoying, and amusing at times, so we just deal with it as best we can...

Actually both of them are still very "tantrum-y" and angry. They fight a lot. They play together a lot too, but I think they get tired of being together constantly, which is partly my fault for being a homebody. Anyway, sometimes I wonder if I did something wrong, if I spoiled my kids, because some days are REALLY loud at my house with lots of arguing and disagreeing among the kids... I just live one day at a time, get through one crisis at a time. It takes a lot of effort on my part to not go completely insane sometimes!







So, just know that you aren't the only one going through it.









Sarita- Congrats on your baby's first day of school! Can you believe how big they're getting? I am







: for a little







for you, LOL...

To the rest of you~


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## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

Thanks everyone it helps to know Scarlett is not the only little monster!







It is just that lately I feel like my sanity, cheery disposition and patience have flown out the window. Casina-- am I mistaken or is Ruby's birthday on Nov. 19 too? Too bad we can't get all the screamies together; they would probably get along!


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## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

im really relieved to read that some other 3 year old are as umm..how should i put it nicely...obnoxious as elwynn can be.. i love him to bits but sometimes his attitude and his behavior has me wanting to tear out my hair and run screaming down the street.. . i know that this is a major transition time for him and i..ngaio takes up a LOT of my time and energy and althought i spend almost every waking hour with him..its not one on one time like it used to be. i can tell he is resentful of ngaio a little bit but he never says anything directly about it... and generally when we are home alone he is okay..its when i have anyone else around that he gets crazy and whiny and aggressive with other kids and just acts downright irritating. he doesnt want me talking or looking at anyone or anything else.. i hope this phase passes quickly because i miss my sweet boy a lot. i feel like we both need eachother so much right now but neither of us can really be there for eachother which sucks. but on the other hand he really loves ngaio and is still mostly a really nice kid


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## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

Yah, they can be terrors sometimes.







I think (for my DD anyways) that she gets so upset these days cause she's growing so much, in every way. She isn't very verbal either, and i think its finally starting to come out (like she's giving birth







)I also think that for her right now, she needs some little friends. she likes to melt down at home generally, if we stay indoors all day long... but the other day, she was acting like that, and I went and phoned a friend with a DD around my DD's ages, and we went over there, and H played for *hours* without any problem... I was right in that case, thankfully..
I have to deal with my 18 month old having tantrums too; drama queen to the max







:. A Reiki intructor that I knew once told me that childrens chakras develop at certain ages, as for the tantruming of the 2-3 year olds (2nd chakra, orange color, bellybutton)... I forget what the other ages of development she told me.... Makes sense though.


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## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

Fern, I just looked at your pics in you siggy. I'm in love with that new baby! She's the cutest little thing. I just want to give her a big huge snuggle.







Wish we lived closer so I could see her in person. She looks a lot like timo did in his baby pics, don'tcha think?


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

I have to say that even at his most trying, BeanBean is a real sweetheart these days. He's helpful, loving, very protective of BooBah, and generally a sugar bunny. He has been a teensy bit more attached to me than usual, but I think that it's because I've started making an effort to do more formal academic work with him; he loves for me to read with him or help him to write, and he's always after me to do those things with him which translates into more mommy-lap time than daddy-lap time.









This week, we had BooBah's blood drawn for her upcoming visit to the nephrologist. BeanBean sat on the table right behind her with his hand on BooBah's shoulder, and insisted on putting the bandaid on when they finished.







He just wanted to make sure that she was okay.







He's always doing sweet things like that with/for his sister. I was just thinking about what a cool age this is for BeanBean, he's just been such a doll....









Don't get me wrong, he has his moments, but overall he's been a real muffin of late.







So sweet I could eat him!









This morning, I made a loaf of french toast and put it in the freezer.







I'm very excited, I made some for the kids and I to have for breakfast and it was yummy and well-recieved.







I finally have something to do with the extra eggs and milk that I get from WIC.


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## GranolaBar (Jan 7, 2006)

I'm new here ^____^ Butttttttt my DS was born November 27th '02.. I don't know why I felt the urge to post that.. But yeah >.>


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

I think I gave Razi food poisoning!







We went out for burritos yesterday and I didn't put his left overs in the fridge and a few hours later (right before bed) he wanted the burrito. I let him eat some. He's been puking almost every half hour since 3 this morning. It's sooo sad to look at him. He's all pale and just laying around. He usually will still be happy and running around when sick so I know it's bad when he's like this.









Well, on a different note, I know that somewhere w/in this thread I claimed to not be ready for another babe. At the time I really felt that way. Buuuttt, I've changed my mind and so has dp!! So we are officially TTC this month! I should be getting AF any day, I'm having a hard time waiting! And I'm so excited! I started taking prenatals yesterday even. I've had 3 unplanned pregnancies and it's a really awesome, empowering feeling to actual decide!

Happy day mamas!!








GranolaBar


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *saritasmile*







I think I gave Razi food poisoning!







We went out for burritos yesterday and I didn't put his left overs in the fridge and a few hours later (right before bed) he wanted the burrito. I let him eat some. He's been puking almost every half hour since 3 this morning. It's sooo sad to look at him. He's all pale and just laying around. He usually will still be happy and running around when sick so I know it's bad when he's like this.

















Poor Razi! Don't be so hard on yourself, mamma. I've got a kid who thinks that eating sand is the hieght of entertainment...









Quote:

Well, on a different note, I know that somewhere w/in this thread I claimed to not be ready for another babe. At the time I really felt that way. Buuuttt, I've changed my mind and so has dp!! So we are officially TTC this month! I should be getting AF any day, I'm having a hard time waiting! And I'm so excited! I started taking prenatals yesterday even. I've had 3 unplanned pregnancies and it's a really awesome, empowering feeling to actual decide!
Congrats!


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

Last Friday, we went to a MDC get together at a new cafe. So far, 5 people from that were puking on Sunday. So at least I didn't do it. YUCKY!!


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

So I was wondering... would anyone object if I started the new thread over in The Childhood Years?







We've all got three year olds now...


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

Rynna! I have been thinking the same thing and forgetting to post about it. I feel very ready to head over there








Of course, if everyone else is ready too.


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## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

sarita~ congratulations! Have fun making a new baby!





















: <---I love using that smilie, but never get the chance.









I think it's great if you want to start a new thread where ever you want, rynna. I don't know the definition of toddler, or 3 year old, but I guess they're not really "toddling" anymore.









Granolabar~







and I'm from B.C. too!


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

New Thread!


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## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

yes, ruby is nov. 19
we just did clay's fifth birthday. we rearranged the house and we got him a computer. then i had more people than ever over and he got tons of loots. so we are still recovering.

the good thing about the obnoxious age is that they are still so forthright and spontaneous. one day they get bigger and quit wearing their emotions on their sleeve and it seems unnatural.
right now my particular key to life is to be able to laugh about it all.

one discipline book that helped me was becky bailey's easy to love difficult to discipline. haven't looked at it in a while though so i don't even know how i would feel about it now. basically - you must teach your child those skills and usually that means i am working on my own tantrums/reactions.

i was talking to a friend who's older boy told her, concerning her toddler, "you always take up for that rat". this reminded me how important it is for me to take up for ruby even though she is definitely screechy and overreacting for drama. and while they are little my kids actually aren't equal. and yes, it is supposedly hard for the boys, and they can act out that they feel neglected. but it would be a totally different flavor if i did not defend the littler and younger, and frightening for them as well. so i'm working on them respecting her littleness (even though she is bossy), validating their concerns, and how to speak appropriately (ongoing).

one of the biggies for me, is with limits. it has taken me years to acknowledge that in order to foster a free loving spirit, i actually have to express a brick wall limit. i always have been wary of the term, nip it in the bud, just seems wrong, but that's basically what it is for a particular tantrum hysteria. i used to ignore it and figure they would run out of steam, smothering my own anger. now after a certain point i have say Enough, that is is unhealthy to dwell in misery and continue the habit of such, and that i have to protect them with a discipline that they do not have yet. usually that means time in of holding them tight. it feels not so great at first and does take practice and will to begin with, and the situation itself in my experience is not pretty - like my kids don't usually calm down and get cuddly eventually, i just have to let them go after a spell. but in the general scheme, they have thrived happier knowing that there really is a limit, a protective barrier, that life is not a free for all. it has taken me years to bend my brain around such a concept: that you need rules for freedom. it has taken me years to accept this odd conclusion after all the nursing on demand and cosleeping and wanting them to feel they are safe to express anything, to trust that they know best instinctively. which i still believe in....these new threes are a little young to understand and cope appropriately with all of mamma's personal limitations however.

going to bed!


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## Mona (May 22, 2003)

casina-
just wow
i loved your post and am still processing it.....

now going to the new thread in an attempt to catch up


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