# waiting for m/c and ?



## BAU3 (Dec 10, 2001)

So i found out friday, at my 12 week appointment, that we've lost our baby. The fetus measured 8.5 weeks,no heartbeat. I have opted to do this naturally, but am recieving very little support from my ob/gyn. I have been seeing a midwife, and will call her, too, but so far have only talked to ob/gyn, who is scaring me with talk of hemmoraging.
So, when I ask her what signs should i look for she says severe bleeding.. i say ok, what considered severe? well, soaking though more than 1 pad in an hour, then she says, but your going to beed alot more than that anyway.







: Ithen ask if i should have someone to monitor me.. she says theres nothing anyone can do anyway.. so call me and let me know how your doing.
Well, that sot of leaves me feeling a bit worried and no questions answered. I am a solid hour away from an emergency room and don't really know how to handle this. A friend was in exactly the same situation as me, and her midwife and ob/gyn actualy encouraged her to let nature take its course. Is my dr. just a big surgery freak or is the risk of hemmoraging very real? will my life be in danger because i am so far from a hspital? If I bled haevily for 3 hrs. do i worry? or 5 hours? or 10? Will i feel weak or something If I'm hemmoraging? Will my bp drop?
Is this m/c considered early, or late? Sorry if I'm rambling.. got alot on my mind right now.. any wisdom or experiences would be greatly appreciated. thanks


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## Ms. Mom (Nov 18, 2001)

First, let me tell you how sorry I am that you lost you're baby. My heart goes out to you.

As for natural miscarriage. Many of the mothers in this forum have had natural miscarriage and had NO complications. Some of the mothers have tried and ultimately had to have a D&C.

What are you feeling about it? In most cases the body knows how to move through a miscarriage and it's safe to do so at home. The signes that something is wrong; heavy bleeding (soaking more than a pad an hour), High feaver, Flue like symptoms.

I'm not a doctor or a miscarriage expert, so I can't offer you any medical advice. However, I will suggest that you talk to your midwife and get her opinion. Then, ask your doctor why she would think you could hemerage without a D&C?

I do know that in most healthy women, miscarriage is uncomplicated and requires no medical intervention. But, your doctor may know something more about you're history than I do.

If you get a chance, look through some of the threads here on miscarriage. A lot of sharing and information is here.

Please feel free to lean on us for support as you travel this road. Know that it's ok to feel and do what you need to to greive and move through this.

My heart goes out to you and your family.

Gently,

Jacque


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## grandmasgirl (Feb 18, 2002)

BAU3 - I am so sorry for your loss. As I read your post I cired again for you and for me - I lost my first two weeks ago at 9w.

I had a natural m/c. The first few days I had some abdominal pain (not like cramps - I assume more like labour). As for bleeding, mine was heavier than my normal AF and lasted for 7 days (AF is usually only 3 to 4 days). My midwife advised me to monitor my temp which I did. I agree with Ms. Mom - trust the signals your body is sending you.

One thing - have someone with you. Not only for emotional support but for physical support if needed. Just having my dh near me helped me relax, knowing that if something physical was
not feeling right I had help right there. Even though your midwife said there is nothing they can do - there is a lot a supportive person can do - just by being next to you.

Please PM me if you need to talk. You and your family will be in my prayers.

Jacki


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## BAU3 (Dec 10, 2001)

Thank you ms. mom and grandmasgirl. The bleeding started about an hour ago. I am home alone now (with my 4 yo and 2 yo!!) and have called my dh, hope he comes home soon. I really feel that I need to do this at home. i don't want emergency rooms or a d&c.. although I know that the possibility is there.. I just can't stand the thought of my baby being sucked out of me and thrown in an incinerator. I trust my body to do what it need to, and will keep you all posted.
I can't tell you how comforting it is to have you guys to talk to, and these boards to look to for advice and support. Thanks.


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

I wanted to let you know how sorry I am for you and your family. I lost our 2nd child in mid-November with a natural m/c.

I was told to watch for flu like symptoms...fever,chills...that type of thing.

Let us know how you are!


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## MossbackMeadow (Nov 1, 2002)

Bau - read your posts on June Mammas and followed you over here.
Like Ms Mom says, if you are in good health, your body knows how to clean itself out.
I've had 3 natural mcs, the most recent in September. I fact, I was camping in the Adirondacks in a tent with dh and 3 kids when it happened, away from home and the bathroom. It would have been hard to have someone with me because it lasted a week -10 days each time - there was no "defining hour" of miscarriage. I had some scary flooding and didn't feel very well, but was ok. I kept hiking and swimming in the lake. I did leave "a part of me" there in the woods at Lake Durant.
Take care of yourself. Save all the material that you pass if you wish and have a little ceremony. Allow yourself to cry and feel sad. Do something to honor this life, like plant a tree or something.
((hugs))
Mossback


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## Ms. Mom (Nov 18, 2001)

I've been thinking about you. Don't be surprised if the cramping get's severe, You're body is laboring to let the baby go. As many said, the bleeding may last several days or two weeks.

My miscarriages were VERY early on. 2x I got a call from the doctor saying "congradulations, you pregnancy test is positive" and I had already started bleeding. The cramping wasn't too bad for me - like a bad period. The bleeding was a bit heavy and clotting the first, then just spotting for about a week. You may or may not recognize when the baby passes.

If you have ANY questions, call your midwife, even if it's a minor concern. The possibility of you having to have a D&C is very minor, but I don't want to tell you it can't happen either.

Try to relax, if you can get a friend or family member to help you care for the little ones, please do so. A warm bath can help cramping especially if it's in the lower back. Keep yourself hydrated - this is VERY important right now. Red Rasberry Leaf tea is very soothing and helps balance electrolites.

Remember, you don't have to be strong through this - you just have to be you! Pm me anytime if you need to talk. I check in often.

Gently,

Jacque


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## BAU3 (Dec 10, 2001)

Hi, thanks to you all for your support and advice. Well, things are pretty much over except for the bleeding. Passed the fetus and placenta first thing, and had about two more huge gushes, all yesterday a.m. and have just been bleding like a heavy period since. Stayed on the couch all day while dh took kiddies here and there. wow. theres alot of emotional stuff that goes along with this. This is my third m/c.. but the first time I feel I lost a baby.
I'm glad I did this at home, and felt pretty confident in my bodies abilities, but that freaky ob/gyn had me just on edge. I've read I think every page on this board and it helped me grreatly in trusting myself. I'm glad there were so many who took the time to relate their stories, so eople like me can learn form them.


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## BAU3 (Dec 10, 2001)

Hi, thanks to you all for your support and advice. Well, things are pretty much over except for the bleeding. Passed the fetus and placenta first thing, and had about two more huge gushes, all yesterday a.m. and have just been bleding like a heavy period since. Stayed on the couch all day while dh took kiddies here and there. wow. theres alot of emotional stuff that goes along with this. This is my third m/c.. but the first time I feel I lost a baby.
I'm glad I did this at home, and felt pretty confident in my bodies abilities, but that freaky ob/gyn had me just on edge. I've read I think every page on this board and it helped me grreatly in trusting myself. I'm glad there were so many who took the time to relate their stories, so eople like me can learn form them.
I shall now go count my blessings, hus my 2 healthy, happy boys, and make myself a cup of tea. Thanks again.

Ps... mossback meadow...I will say a prayer for your baby the next time i'm near durant .(I live about a half hour from there).
Ms. mom, thank you for sharing your stories and imparting your wisdom. It has been very helpful. I appreciate it.


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## Abigail (Aug 23, 2002)

Dear Bau3
My heart goes out to you. I had a m/c yesterday. It was my 2nd in 6 months. I don't have any children. I don't have any words of wisdom for you. Just know that you are not alone and that my thoughts. and warmest wishes are with you.


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## MossbackMeadow (Nov 1, 2002)

Hugs to you Abigal. I'm sorry.


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## BAU3 (Dec 10, 2001)

Im so sorry, abigail. I hope you find support and comfort here, where others know what you're going through. My thoughs are with you.


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## naturegirl (Apr 16, 2002)

Abigail and Bau3
Hugs and hopes for both of you. So sorry for your loses.


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## Abigail (Aug 23, 2002)

thanks for the cyberhugs. I don't know what I would do without this forum.

Abigail


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