# Sex bracelets



## kakies (Aug 8, 2002)

We have a teenage niece that has recently moved in with us. My dds are toddlers so I am a newby when it comes to teen issues.

One thing that I am curious about is the jelly bracelets that she wears. I asked her about them but she blushed and didn't want to answer my questions. This has made me even more curious and now I want to know what each of them mean.

I feel like we will have to have some talks about sex pretty soon and I would like to know what I might be dealing with here. Can anyone help me out with the code to the colors of the bracelets?


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## kavamamakava (Aug 25, 2004)

Uh oh. I'll ask my niece...


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## amydidit (Jan 21, 2005)

Here's something I found from Snopes
http://www.snopes.com/risque/school/bracelet.asp


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## Alkenny (May 4, 2004)

I've heard this on Dr. Phil








Not always true though...my DD has them and uses them to dive to the bottom of the pool and retrieve.


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## eightyferrettoes (May 22, 2005)

I think the whole jelly bracelet thing is a bunch of overblown adolescent silliness. It seems to be encouraging to them that it's freaking all the grown folks out, though.


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## Dar (Apr 12, 2002)

My daughter has warn armloads of these for years, and says the sex thing (each color means you do a different sex act on the person who snaps it off your wrist) is just BS, for her any any kid she's ever known. Maybe some kids somewhere use them like that, but she's worn them while living in three states and it hasn't been an issue, ever. I think it's a prime example of how adults want to think the worst of teens, so rumors like this get blown way out of proportion. It was even on an episode of Judging Amy....

dar


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## CookieMonsterMommy (Oct 15, 2002)

Yep, what you said dar!

And "eighty"....good job making the adults nutty! And makes for a great sensationalistic newscast!

I wear jelly bracelets...right now I have about 10 on--mostly pink, purple and blue (with one clear). And, uh, I'm not about to do ANYTHING to anyone who snaps it off but yell at them and make them buy me a new set. And fwiw, I'm not too far from being a teen (I'm 22, with 19 and 16 year old sisters who both rolled their eyes when my mom asked them if what she "heard on the news" was true).

It's 99.99% BS.

BUT--I do know a few teens who wear like 20 on each wrist (like bottom sleeves) to cover up scars from cutting themselves.









HTH,
Kelly


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## PikkuMyy (Mar 26, 2004)

A fellow classmate of mine in grad school was talking about how her school has banned them (she's the principal) because of the sex issue. I'd never heard of it (and I wear them) and told DH - who thought it was a bunch of BS. Glad to know he's right!

When I was a young adult (19-22) I wore them on my right wrist like a bottom sleeve with thin and thick ones and a few other bracelets so that there was a HUGE tan line when I took them off finally. But I didn't do it to cover up scars from cutting myself. I'm sorry to hear that some do.


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## talk de jour (Apr 21, 2005)

"Sex bracelets" are BS. There's evidence that they're actually a "media circus" -- the "trend" was actually CREATED by the media. No child or teen I ever knew ever played that game before the "news story" -- or AFTER. A few kids may have done it after the story, but middle- and high-schoolers are a lot more "chicken" than you'd think. A girl isn't going to put out just because a guy snapped her bracelet unless she was already planning on it, KWIM?


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## Ms.Doula (Apr 3, 2003)

Its just a fad. -though the logic behind it does have a black sense of humor.







:

At our school it was a pull tab from a soda can. (we called em F*ck Tabs)
Only if the ring was unbroken it was redeemable for sex. I seriously doubt if anyone *actually* acted on them though.

Then in H.S it was Wrangler tabs The plastic tag on the butt. If a guy could pin you & rip one off with his teeth, you 'owed him' a lay. It was a sick but fun 'courting ritual' :LOL the key was if it was a guy you liked you didnt fight very hard.......


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## amnesiac (Dec 28, 2001)

I must be very sheltered because I've never heard of any of that!


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## chersolly (Aug 29, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ms.Doula*
Its just a fad. -though the logic behind it does have a black sense of humor.







:

At our school it was a pull tab from a soda can. (we called em F*ck Tabs)
Only if the ring was unbroken it was redeemable for sex. I seriously doubt if anyone *actually* acted on them though.

I remember this from high school too...


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

Bunches of little girls wear jelly bracelets around these parts, and they are not having sex, or even thinking about having sex. They are most popular for the under 12 or 14 yr old set-- at least here.

I think your niece was embarrassed because she knows you've probaly heard the hype and she wasn't comfortable talking to you about it. If she has had to be removed from the custody of her paretns, she probably has had lots of experience being the bad girl. (Just surmising, so don't shoot me. But if a young girl can't live with her parents, something must be going on).

You prob should talk to her and reassure her you know it's just about fashion--that you don't have any bad thoughts about her.

People love to make teens into devils---don't fall for the hype. If she lives with you, you know where she is, yk? Don't think the worst of her. Although I know you probably are not.







Since you've taken her in.


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## oliviagoddess (Jan 10, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ms.Doula*
Its just a fad. -though the logic behind it does have a black sense of humor.








:

At our school it was a pull tab from a soda can. (we called em F*ck Tabs)
Only if the ring was unbroken it was redeemable for sex. I seriously doubt if anyone *actually* acted on them though.

Then in H.S it was Wrangler tabs The plastic tag on the butt. If a guy could pin you & rip one off with his teeth, you 'owed him' a lay. It was a sick but fun 'courting ritual' :LOL the key was if it was a guy you liked you didnt fight very hard.......

OMG Hilarious! We used to do the soda tab thing and it never went anywhere. I thought it was an whole over-reaction in the media with the jelly bracelets. I remember high shcool and while there was a lot of sex (I was one of only like 30 out of 150 girls who graduated and didn't have a kid or was pregnant at graduation) where I was, we did it the old fashioned way - we dated.

Maybe somewhere, like the schools where boys give themselves "points" for getting a girl to do a sex act. Snapping a jelly bracelt will get you somewhere, but I think anything makes those type of kids make up sex games. You know the kind, bored and their parents never show them enough emotional support so they think sex=love.

Regardless of the trends, the best defense against anything (drugs, sex, wanton cheating, global warming) is to make sure you are a loving, involved parent to the children in your care (born, adopted, fostered or just they kinda showed up at your house one day and you fed them and they stuck around ever since). If you do that and talk to your kids about making good desicions, they'll be alright, regardless what's going on around them.


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## eightyferrettoes (May 22, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amnesiac*







I must be very sheltered because I've never heard of any of that!

Maybe you heard it, but forgot, Amnesiac!

I crack myself up sometimes.


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## maya44 (Aug 3, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dar*
My daughter has warn armloads of these for years, and says the sex thing (each color means you do a different sex act on the person who snaps it off your wrist) is just BS, for her any any kid she's ever known. Maybe some kids somewhere use them like that, but she's worn them while living in three states and it hasn't been an issue, ever. I think it's a prime example of how adults want to think the worst of teens, so rumors like this get blown way out of proportion. It was even on an episode of Judging Amy....

dar


YEP! It is for the most part a BIG urban legend. Not one kid we know who wears these things was really involved in any sex thing. My almost 12 y.o. said "I can't believe how stupid adults are to believe that!"


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## Alkenny (May 4, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eightyferrettoes*
Maybe you heard it, but forgot, Amnesiac!

I crack myself up sometimes.

:LOL


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## kakies (Aug 8, 2002)

Thanks ladies for helping me realize that it's not such a serious thing after all. Now I feel much better.


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## KermitMissesJim (Feb 12, 2004)

Wow, forgot about the pull tabs...and that if you wore green on Thursdays, you were horny.

Pull tabs were never seriously used in high school, but I remember passing them off to guys I was sleeping with in college and getting "paid" for them, lol. But again, we already had a sexual relationship and were being silly.

How sad that girls wear jellies to cover up their cutting scars.


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## CookieMonsterMommy (Oct 15, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KermitMissesJim*
How sad that girls wear jellies to cover up their cutting scars.

it's very sad. Cutting is also a big reason for all those long sleeve shirts the girls cut a thumb hole for (know what I mean? So the sleeve ends up staying on the hand too?)...









That said, MOST are worn cuz they look funky, no other reason. I wear mine cuz they remind me of when I was little, they look funky, the kids in the peds office I work at sometimes LOVE em, and they're just cute and fun.









kelly


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## AntoninBeGonin (Jun 24, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ms.Doula*
Its just a fad. -though the logic behind it does have a black sense of humor.







:

At our school it was a pull tab from a soda can. (we called em F*ck Tabs)
Only if the ring was unbroken it was redeemable for sex. I seriously doubt if anyone *actually* acted on them though.


We had f*** taps, too! LOL







Same as with your high school, they were more a dumb joke than anything. A lot of the kids would make necklaces of them. I went to a hs in Virginia, where did you go to HS?

~Nay


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## ryansmom02 (Jan 8, 2003)

Oh i remember the F*** tabs......... :LOL That is how I ended up with my 11 yr DD...







I let my DH redeam his tab and now she is 11.......... :LOL


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## Ms.Doula (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AntoninBeGonin*
We had f*** taps, too! LOL







Same as with your high school, they were more a dumb joke than anything. A lot of the kids would make necklaces of them. I went to a hs in Virginia, where did you go to HS?

~Nay

went to H.S here in California, but I married a sailor stationed there in VA!







:


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## sincitymama (Sep 20, 2003)

Just to chime in, we had those tabs here in southern nh too







That was what, like 7/8th grade?


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## Ravin (Mar 19, 2002)

I remember sex tab jokes in high school in small-town Texas. And before that it was M&M's: the different colors were for getting to first, second, and third base. And THAT went around among my friends in a tiny fundamentalist Christian school where I attended middle school.

I don't think I'd worry about her bracelets. But if you realize you don't ever see her lower arms...


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## solstar (May 26, 2002)

We had f*** tabs in jr. high too and green m&M's and skittles made you horny


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## spero (Apr 22, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KermitMissesJim*
...and that if you wore green on Thursdays, you were horny.

Good gravy, I forgot all about that one! That was a huge thing in my school.


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## Starflower (Sep 25, 2004)

The green M&M thing was big where I grew up, too. (MT) And so were the beer labels, like anyone would actually use one as a coupon. Give me a break.

We had the jellies, too, but that was when Madonaa was poplular so we were just trying to be cool.

If you notice advertising at all (used to work in that field) the green M&M thing is part of their commercials. Who's the sexy female M&M? In fact, the only female one is the green one and she's a big tease. :LOL


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## aisraeltax (Jul 2, 2005)

as a disclaimer, i never watch desperate housewives, but when it was getting alot of media i watched 1/2 a show just to see what it was about. pretty disqusting but there was an episode where one of the moms started wearing the bracelets b/c she thought they were cool. all the teenage boys started treating her differently, you can see where that went.... she got all freaked out and cut them all up!
until then i had not heard of that. teenagers make up all sorts of thigns....my son has a secret language...i did with my friends in highschool. As long as i feel confident that i am controlling his ACTIONS, i try not to control his MIND (like i could). Reaction from adults is a very good point...they dont want you to know the secrets but hey openly flaunt it in front of you. so i think there is a bit of "you dont know this, but lets see how smart you are". most of the time i just act stupid and they laugh. at least i know whats going on in their head SOMETIMES. Teenage boys are esp. into rap music, which is disqusting. but for the boys i see, its all a big joke. funny to talk about, sing, etc.
my step daughter has an armful of bracelets but so does my 7 yr old son...they are in competition!








i would worry more about her friends, where she hangs out, etc. bracelets (whether they indicate what they are claimed to our not) are an overt expression of rebellion and being "hip" in my mind. at least, i HOPE this is true of my 13 yr. old dsd and 7 yr old ds.








good luck!
rAch


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## imgreen (Jul 15, 2005)

The first time I saw a yellow wristband was when a friend gave me one. This was probably close to a year ago. He is an avid bicyclist, as am I, and he told me is was a fund-raising tool thought up by Lance Armstrong, and/or his foundation for supporting people with cancer.

Since then, I have seen them proliferate. They only cost $1, retail, and many non-profit organizations use them as give-aways or as fund-raising tools.

Now they are on sale everywhere, even online. There originally stood for something you could believe in and therefore wear, as a symbol. There is no established color code, where one color means one thing, anymore. Now, they are ubiquitous and nearly all form and no content.

As you have noticed, they may have taken on other meaning. I am a 52 year old mother of a 13 year old. I now wear 2 bracelets, the 2nd one given to me by a local food bank, which says "hope not hunger". My son bought his first one at Walgreens drugstore and it says "yin yang". He now also wears the "hope not hunger" one the food bank gave me to give him.

Neither he nor I ever heard of them having any sexual overtones. But I have seem men and women of all ages wearing them in Berkeley & Oakland, Ca.

Some day they will dig these up and do an anthropological study of the wristbands. I wonder if they will figure it out?

Marcy


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## Jillbob (Aug 29, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KermitMissesJim*
...and that if you wore green on Thursdays, you were horny.

It was Wednesday for us. You know, "hump" day. (I'm giggling like a 13 yo boy right now. Heh heh, "hump")


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## Ms.Doula (Apr 3, 2003)

Marcy, those wristbands wich you are referring to are totally different than the ones we we're discussing. These are the jellies/'sex bracetts' in the link... Yes I believe the other ones you were referring to were from a trend from the ones worn by Lance Armstrong


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## sincitymama (Sep 20, 2003)

Hump day, oh yes. The things teenagers think are so funny :LOL

With us, it was if you ATE any green food it made you horny







Green candy, Mountain Dew, broccoli, whatever. If it was green and you ate it, it would make you horny.


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## aisraeltax (Jul 2, 2005)

i was also referring to the lance armstrong, red sox, breastfeeding, all kinds of cancer, etc. bracelets. i think the kids say something simiar. i dont know...


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## eightyferrettoes (May 22, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SarahNH*
With us, it was if you ATE any green food it made you horny







Green candy, Mountain Dew, broccoli, whatever. If it was green and you ate it, it would make you horny.

To this day, I believe in this theory.







I guess it's an incentive to eat your salad...


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## Plady (Nov 20, 2001)

I don't know about bracelets but I remember the tabs. I also remember my parents getting completely freaked out when my boyfriend gave me his class ring to wear. Remember that old one? Well I had no idea it meant that we were A:sleeping together (we weren't really) or B:that we were going to get married (as if! I was 15!) so I had no idea why all of a sudden my parents didn't trust this guy they'd loved just days before.

So I agree with all of the PPs who warn against overreacting.


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## Sarabrooke (Oct 23, 2005)

I am a teenager right now, and I have had those in the past before too. I was too shy to agree to do any of the stuff, and, my parents did ask what they were for. BUt I dont know the exact meaning for each color becuase they can vary, but there is oral sex, making out, regular kiss, vaginal sex, and more. Good Luck


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## Stinkerbell (Aug 11, 2005)

My DS's middle school banned these, and he sid they DID mean something but the kids would always tel the grownups that it was nothing. Ick. Scary!

He basically said jsut what SarahBrooke said. The only thing he "knew for sure" was black meant you "go all the way" and red meant "blow jobs only".

Yeah. MIDDLE SCHOOL. Scary.


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## Mamma Mia (Aug 3, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eightyferrettoes*
I think the whole jelly bracelet thing is a bunch of overblown adolescent silliness. It seems to be encouraging to them that it's freaking all the grown folks out, though.

I agree with this. Also, jelly bracelets aren't the only way kids are going to express their sexuality and how far they'll go. They're either having sex or they aren't. Word gets around who's doing what. Just because you ban the bracelets doesn't mean the kids will stop doing whatever it is they're doing.


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## Mamma Mia (Aug 3, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *imgreen*
The first time I saw a yellow wristband was when a friend gave me one. This was probably close to a year ago. He is an avid bicyclist, as am I, and he told me is was a fund-raising tool thought up by Lance Armstrong, and/or his foundation for supporting people with cancer.

Since then, I have seen them proliferate. They only cost $1, retail, and many non-profit organizations use them as give-aways or as fund-raising tools.

Now they are on sale everywhere, even online. There originally stood for something you could believe in and therefore wear, as a symbol. There is no established color code, where one color means one thing, anymore. Now, they are ubiquitous and nearly all form and no content.

As you have noticed, they may have taken on other meaning. I am a 52 year old mother of a 13 year old. I now wear 2 bracelets, the 2nd one given to me by a local food bank, which says "hope not hunger". My son bought his first one at Walgreens drugstore and it says "yin yang". He now also wears the "hope not hunger" one the food bank gave me to give him.

Neither he nor I ever heard of them having any sexual overtones. But I have seem men and women of all ages wearing them in Berkeley & Oakland, Ca.

Some day they will dig these up and do an anthropological study of the wristbands. I wonder if they will figure it out?

Marcy

I am pretty sure the silicone for charity bracelets are different than jelly bracelets. Jelly bracelets have been around since the 80s and silicone bracelets are a relatively new phenomenon.


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## mommyto3girls (May 3, 2005)

I teach 6th grade in the inner city and some of the kids were using the red and black jelly bracelets in this manner. One girl innocently wore them and a boy snapped a black one and when the other kids told her what it meant she freaked out. Screaming, crying, etc. We had a big meeting with the school counselor and needless to say the jelly bracelets are now banned from our school


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## Fi. (May 3, 2005)

The jelly bracelets thing (in general) is a load of crap. I've been wearing them since high school and they have no meaning. I got my first one at a concert, it was a gift from someone. I aquired more through friends and trade, I've never bought one.

Never once has someone tried to rip them off and demand a BJ.


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## rryman (Sep 19, 2005)

I have to say I have never heard the bracelet one, but I have heard the wear green and it means your horny and the pop tabs, that was all in during my teen years too, how funny this all seems now







Everyone is right its usually just for say and not for doing.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

This bracelet thing is weird to me, because my 12-year-old wears them all the time. But...he's a he. They're not quite as popular this year, but the boys in his 6th grade class wore them more often than the girls did.


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## harakka (Oct 27, 2005)

Seems we don't have these here in Finland. What do they look like? Is there an image on the web?


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## CookieMonsterMommy (Oct 15, 2002)

This is what they look like. They sell them in lots of stores, and they come in diff colors, as well as with sparkles, glow in the dark, etc...

http://1fashionsinjewelry.com/fashio...ybracelets.htm


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## harakka (Oct 27, 2005)

Oh, I'v seen those in fashion magazines andn movies ect. But I thought them to be just jelewry.


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## Pinoikoi (Oct 30, 2003)

Ok, I have read through all the posts, and I agree that most of this is media hype.

However, fads and danger signs change all the time. One day students weren't allowed to wear camo because someone died that was alleged to be of the little soldiers crew gang... (from out of state I guess, but killed here) Anyway, all students the following day that showed up wearing camo were sent home to change clothes. Which is funny since many parents were wearing camo gear- for work.

It is a daily changing thing though, the symbols that can mean your child may or may not be safe. In my social impacts class a police officer that works in the gang field said that at one point in time- red shoelaces were a symbol of gang membership as well as bugs bunny wearing baggy clothing. Also, the fox symbol (snowboarding gear??) was a symbol that that person uses or sells Oxy (oxycotin).

Parents really need to stay on top of these things- i guess...

I am a little worried about the OP though. I think you are taking the wrong approach to sex education with this teenager. I don't believe there should be a "sex talk". Discussions about sexuality should be an ongoing process. Hopefully whomever had her before got those discussions going, and you should be building off of them. If they didn't well, then you have some catching up to do.

For example, my 2yo knows that babies come from mama's belly. My 7yo would say that his parents had sex (he says it is becuase they are married- but he put that in not me), and daddy put the baby in mama's belly (although he doesn't know ALL the details) and that is where baby's come from. I really think that building off of discussions in this way takes the scariness out of it. I have read that it is a valid approach. I wouldn't put off talking to that niece of yours.


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## SunRayeMomi (Aug 27, 2005)

When I was in highschool (all of 5-7 years ago







) we wore these all the time and not once did I hear them referred to as sex bracelets. They were more a part of the growing goth and rave scenes than sex. Which I suppose may also freak some parents out







However, Hump Day, the color green, and F**k tabs were definitly the game







I doubt this is something to worry about. Just a silly little secret language that kids use to either hide messages from grown-ups, or freak them out and laugh about it


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## LizD (Feb 22, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KermitMissesJim*
Wow, forgot about the pull tabs...and that if you wore green on Thursdays, you were horny.

OMG I forgot all about wearing green on Thursdays.....!







But really, did anyone think about it enough *not* to wear green on Thursdays? I didn't. And the bracelets, well, I wear them, my dh wears them and was wearing one black one for years when I first met him. In some circles you'll hear it comes from wearing cock rings. I've heard that from a lot of gay men but have never met anyone who confesses to wearing sex aids on their wrists in the hopes of attracting attention.

Doesn't anyone in authority, don't any anxious parents realize this stuff is on the level of "step on a crack" or that eating olives "helps you make out good with the girls," to paraphrase Judy Blume? Would that mean all teenage boys eating olives had ulterior motives? My neighbor believes all this nonsense when her kids tell it to her (and they tell her there are condoms on the hall floors at the local high school, which was in the top 10 in the country for its IB program) and doesn't realize their joy in scandalizing her.

If the bracelets were banned at my kids' school we'd have a problem. I don't believe in banning clothes or jewellery or things like that. But I grew up in NYC. That kind of thing didn't get banned at my high school, so I have a really hard time believing that anyone puts up with it anywhere else. My suburban Floridian neighbors think I'm delusional, as you can probably guess.


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## ~Nikki~ (Aug 4, 2004)

I remember the pop tab thing. It was just pure silliness. You'd pull one off, and if the ring was in tact, all of your lunchmates would go "ooOOOOooo" and giggle about it for a few seconds. We wore them as necklaces sometimes, but truly, it didn't mean anything. I'm sure the bracelets are the same thing.

I agree with the person who said that if kids are going to have sex, they're going to have sex. They don't need a bracelet, or a pop tab, or a green sock as incentive.


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## snarfywarning (Dec 11, 2005)

DH and I both wear them! (we are still only 20 and 23!) I wonder what black and red mean..maybe we can incorporate this into our nights out!

Hmm..whoops. guess I should have finished reading the thred first.. aparatnly "all the way" and "BJ's only"

What fun!


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Off topic:

One of the school districts here forbade pink for awhile because some adminstrator heard a rumour that it was a gang color. I was thinking that if I were the students, I'd come to school in a very very fine checked red and white gingham, looks pink from a distance, but no one could ever claim that it was pink.


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## Butterflymagic (Sep 25, 2005)

I wore these in high school and I am 50, it is just a thing to shock parents and it worked...I think if you communicate with your child,then they don't need to shock you...just my humble opinion


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