# Playing outside unsupervised



## Barefoot~Baker (Dec 25, 2008)

What age would be appropriate? We live in a rural area, and the road is about 200 ft from our house, but you can't even see it well from the house. We're surrounded by trees. Around how old until we can let the kids play outside, just checking every few minutes?


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## Daffodil (Aug 30, 2003)

We live in a similar location. My oldest didn't really want to play outside alone when she was little, but by the time she was 5 and her little brother was 2, they were playing outside with me just checking occasionally. I don't think 2 is too young, even for a kid who doesn't have an older sibling watching, if you're confident the kid won't go down to the road and there's nothing particularly dangerous in your yard.


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## rainbowmoon (Oct 17, 2003)

For me it was 3-4yo. I could however see my kids from inside. I am not comfortable with them playing outside where I can't see them at all! They do on occasion (especially where we used to live on an estate/eco village/community) and I end up checking them a gazillion times that it makes more sense for me to go outside with them. We used to have a inground pool (with only a natural fence) there though so that was my main worry. We have since moved. Now we are closer to the road as before we were in a private road off a culdasac..ugh.


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## hottmama (Dec 27, 2004)

I let my kids play outside unsupervised at 4.5 and 1.5, I could see them from the window and hear them. By 6 and 3, I let them go beyond sight/hearing range, but this was in a neighborhood where there were no cars and we knew all of our neighbors. I let my 1st grader walk the 3 blocks to school by himself, too-- he'll be 7 in January. I'm strongly in favor of unsupervised outdoor time for children, and my kids have never gotten into trouble. Also, my youngest was a very advanced toddler (he spoke in sentences by his first bday and taught himself to ride a 2-wheeler at 2) so I'd say he was developmentally more like a 3 yr. old when I let him start playing outside. I think in general, 3-4 is a good age.


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## rainbowmoon (Oct 17, 2003)

PP you're lucky. My kids absolutely CAN'T be left where there will be passing cars or people. They will stop the cars and talk to anyone passing by and follow them. I am trying to instill the whole ""stranger" idea but it's not working..they are such social and trusting beings..


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## bandgeek (Sep 12, 2006)

I started letting DS play outside alone this summer. He's 4. We started with me checking every few minutes until I was sure he understood the rules (how far he can go, no going in the parking lot or street, no going near the water, tell me if he goes to his friend's house, 2 apartments over). Now I let him out for maybe 30 minutes at a time, but I do still check on him. The part of the yard he's allowed to play in is visible from 2 sides of our apartment so I just have to peek out one window, then the other, to find him.


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## Barefoot~Baker (Dec 25, 2008)

Thank you mamas you're making me feel more confident about this!

I think the problem I have is with trusting them not to go in the woods or up the driveway to the road. They are so curious.


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## Smithie (Dec 4, 2003)

I grew up in the boondocks and was allowed to play outside alone at around age 4 (when we moved to a new house on a even less busy road). I never did wander into the road or out of the yard. But I was a cautious child by nature - I would not trust my ds age 5 to play in the same area and not take off on an expedition.









Fences are worth the $$ IMO. I love my fenced back yard.


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## Eclipsepearl (May 20, 2007)

Me too! We only have a small yard but it's entirely fenced in so I was able to let my kids play outside pretty early.

Actually, there are so many variables that it's tough to slap a standard answer on this one. Where you live, what your kids are like, etc. I actually worried more about the stairs with my youngest more than any kidnapping since we're in a very visable location with again, that fenced in yard.

Please, please, please don't talk about "strangers". This is too vague a concept for children. Don't have them look for a "type". I simply tell my children not to engage in conversation with _anyone_ who asks over the fence. Come get me. Also, they should be taught to not give directions, not to go up to cars, etc. just in general. A "nice lady" may have her not-so-nice partner in the same car. Go over to the Missing and Exploited Children for more detailed information;

http://www.missingkids.com/missingki..._US&PageId=713

Just as a reminder, you may not have a pool but do your neighbors? We have one across the street, totally not fenced (illegal but not everyone follows the law...)

Also, if you can't see your kids, can you hear them?


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## Veronika01 (Apr 16, 2007)

Our yard is fenced right around with 6ft palasades in front (facing the road) and a 6ft locked gate. In the back it's surrounded by 3ft chain link fence. We don't have close neighbours in the back. We border a large training facility and our house is out of the way enough so nobody ever approaches the back. I let my kids play outside and have since my oldest two were 4 yrs old and 2 yrs old respectively. My youngest joined them unsupervised when she was around 12 months old. If I don't hear them I go and check after 2 - 5 minutes, but they can play outside for an unlimited time and I just check every now and then. I would be a lot less confident if we weren't fenced right around.


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## rainbowmoon (Oct 17, 2003)

well the point I am trying to convey is not everyone is our friend so that in fact makes them a stranger by default and if we don't know someone thay are in fact a stranger. No types. my kids still don't get it AT ALL. I have gone as far as explaining someone could take them or hurt them. still nothing..they are just so SUPER trusting and friendly.

also we were living in a community previously where people come and go constantly. I don't know the people the other folks know and I certainly don't just trust someone because they are a friend of an aquaintence.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Eclipsepearl* 
Please, please, please don't talk about "strangers". This is too vague a concept for children. Don't have them look for a "type". I simply tell my children not to engage in conversation with _anyone_ who asks over the fence. Come get me. Also, they should be taught to not give directions, not to go up to cars, etc. just in general. A "nice lady" may have her not-so-nice partner in the same car. Go over to the Missing and Exploited Children for more detailed information;

http://www.missingkids.com/missingki..._US&PageId=713

Just as a reminder, you may not have a pool but do your neighbors? We have one across the street, totally not fenced (illegal but not everyone follows the law...)

Also, if you can't see your kids, can you hear them?


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## Llyra (Jan 16, 2005)

I let my 2 1/2 year olds play out in the back, if I'm in the kitchen. I can see them from the window or the open doorway, and there's no road to worry about. I don't let them play alone out front. We live well off the road, but we live in a townhouse complex and there's a parking lot, and not everybody drives as carefully as they should in the lot. My kids don't typically step off the curb, ever, but you can never tell. Plus, the main thing is I have some neighbors who like to think they can tell me how to parent, and all I need is some idiot putting in a call to DYFS complaining I let toddlers out alone.

My 5 year old plays outside by herself or with her friends. I started letting her when she was 4. She's been told she has to stay within our "quad"-- we have a big field across the parking lot with a playground, and then all the little front yards belonging to all the houses on that quad, plus behind our row. I have to be able to see her if I look out a window, or she at least has to be able to hear me if I call. She's a very cautious kid, not inclined to wander or take chances, and I'm confident she's safe. Especially with a zillion neighbors to keep an eye on her.

I don't talk to her about strangers per se. I've told her she should never leave the quad, no matter what, without me or DH with her, no matter what anybody says to her. I've told her that if somebody makes her feel uncomfortable, or something seems wrong, or she's afraid, she should immediately run home. I've also told her that anybody who tells her to do something she knows is wrong, and promises not to tell me, or anybody who tells her not to tell me something, is not to be trusted. I think that's what she needs to know at this point. I've also told her that if she needs help or gets lost, she should look for another mother with little kids to ask for help. I don't worry about that too much, though-- she knows at least a dozen neighbors whose doors she can knock on if something goes wrong.

I think I'll wait longer to let DS and DD2 play outside, though. They don't have the naturally cautious personality DD1 has, and I think that it may take them longer to be ready for the responsibility.


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

In an area with a fence-- about age 2.

In an unfenced area, 4-5, depending on the child and the neighborhood.

Can you trust your child not to go into the road?
Can you trust your child to stay within the boundaries you set and not wander off?
Can you trust your child to be where they said they'd be?
Is there a community around that would notice if your child is 'out of bounds' and send them home?

for us, I could answer yes to all of those when dd was about 4. (Ds had no interest in playing by himself until about age 6-7).


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## karemore (Oct 7, 2008)

It's not the age, it's the child.

I don't let my 4 year old play outside by herself. She's too curious, too friendly, and too adventurous.


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## Yooper (Jun 6, 2003)

We live in a small town neighborhood on a busy street with no fence. Dd is 6 and can go in and out as she pleases now. At 4 yo, I started letting her outside but kept a constant eye on her. At 5 yo, she went out with me checking every 5 minutes. Until recently, we had physical reminders of where the limits were. In your case, perhaps you could tie some ribbon to the trees they are not to go past or sidewalk chalk a line in the driveway of how far they can go? Until dd was flawless as not going past them, I felt I still had to keep a pretty constant eye on her. I was crossing semi-busy roads to get to school by age 5 so i try to keep it in perspective.


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## mamadelbosque (Feb 6, 2007)

We're the last ones on a dead end dirt road... *I* let DS1 (a little more than 2 at the time) play outside by himself this summer, but my mom & dad were/are highly dissaproving of that, so it didn't happen much (we live with my dad and mom was down all the frigging time cause' dad was hurt and I was pregnant so, we "needed help"). Next spring/summer I'm sure it'll happen all the time (DS1 will be 3+), and probably some this winter too, depending on how DS1 does getting around in the snow this year


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## NightOwlwithowlet (Jun 13, 2009)

We live on a very busy road with a small unfenced yard, we have corner lot so there is no back yard. My son had NO concept of danger until he was almost 4, but is highly impulsive. When he was almost 5, he ran across the street to get to the ice cream truck and almost got hit.

I started letting him play in the neighbors's side yard (one of my best friends) with their six year old daughter when he was 5. I could see their yard from my kitchen window and they live on a much safer side street. I checked on him every 2-5 minutes and kept the play date short (30 minutes).

However, once he proved he could follow the rules, he was allowed to play over there alone at 5.5 with them or I checking on him. When he was six, he was allowed to play in our yard or theirs (with their permission) alone or with the neighborhood kids and I only checked on him every hour or so. Now that he is seven, he roams the four yards on our side of the street freely. He checks with before going into the neighbors' houses, stays on the side walk, and is very trustworthy. I never thought I'd see the day when we could do that.


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## JamieCatheryn (Dec 31, 2005)

I let 3 year old DS play out back in the wooden fenced yard only looking out at him now and then. Without a fence but in a rural area, far from people or roads, maybe at like 5 years I'd be comfy with it so long as he showed himself trustworthy.


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