# If you could give a new mom any advice or wisdom about breastfeeding, what would it be....



## GuavaGirl (May 6, 2008)

If you could give a new mom some advice about breastfeeding and/or tell them something you wish you would have learned early on, or when you were pregnant, what would it be?

I'm a lactaction educator and I'm creating an online Breastfeeding 101 class for pregnant women. I plan to make it more in depth and more helpful than the hospital or WIC classes and perfect for those that aren't fond of sitting down and spending hours reading books about breastfeeding and just need the important info, would rather attend class on their own schedule, and/or would like to meet a little online community of new breastfeeding moms.

Thanks for helping!


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## penguintattoo (Oct 14, 2008)

That the first few weeks are the hardest, but by 6 weeks it's so much easier. Usually by then the initial soreness is gone and your supply has started to even out.

Sent from my DROID X2 using Tapatalk


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## MadelinesMama (Mar 3, 2011)

I agree.. How hard it is in the beginning is not how it will be the whole time. Lots of people think it's always going to take a lot of effort.


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## Erin77 (Aug 4, 2010)

That if you have a healthy, full-term baby, you do not have to sterilize everything constantly. Obviously keep your pumps and bottles clean if you are using them, but it's not like formula: you don't have to boil everything all the time.


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## MrsGregory (Dec 21, 2011)

I heard lots of fluffy nonsense about breastfeeding, and the nightnurse at the hospital set me straight.

1. That screaming pain that reaches your toes when she first latches on and begins to nurse? That's normal. And it will stop.

2. Try the football hold first, and give it to her like a sandwich. Your breast, that is; flatten it like a sandwich, and put it straight into her mouth. Presto, latch!

3. Rub your own breast milk into your nipples after feeding. It's far superior to the cream in terms of preventing and helping to heal cracks and sore, chafed nipples.

4. If she's fussing for more, and your breast is empty (and the other breast is empty as well, or you're using only one side a feeding) go ahead and put her back to the empty breast for as long as you can. She won't like it, you might get bit, but a baby nursing on a dry breast is the fastest way I found to increase supply.

It's so worth it! All the early frustration and pain are such a small price when I see my sleek, fat, bright-eyed daughter.


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## AllisonR (May 5, 2006)

Yes to the it comes natural and easy to some people right away, but to a lot of women and their babies, it is a lot of hard work. But that'a a few weeks of hard work. Then you can be lazy momma. No getting up in the middle of the night, freezing, waking fully up to boil a bottle, fill it, the whole time a screaming baby, feed said baby, 20 min later baby is asleep and you should be too, but you are so awake now and yet dead tired. Three hours later rinse and repeat. UGH! Better to roll over, in your warm blanket, half wake up to give a boob, then both of you still sleepy enough to be able to fall back asleep. Also, on the road. Bottle baby, bring cooler, bring forumula, bring bottles, bring warm water, be sure to be back in 4 hours if he/she feeds soon after you leave.... Breastfed baby, bring yourself. Maybe an extra breastpad in your purse. My first was bottle fed. My second was EBF. Second was hard for 3 weeks. Easy for the next 15 months.


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## parsley (May 7, 2011)

That the "feed every 2 hours" rule you see in books and are told by nurses in the hospital may actually mean nurse for two hours straight. Don't expect to be done feeding in a few minutes... that just sets you up for feeling like somethings wrong with either you or your babe. Breastfed babes spend LOTS of time at the breast in the early days!


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## KathrynH (Jan 1, 2012)

1. It will get easier, but having support helps.

2. We went through a period of cluster feeding for about a month when I started back to work. DS would want to nurse 45 minutes out of every hour in the evenings from 5 to 8. If I had know this was common, I would not have been alarmed and frustrated. I thought he wasn't getting enough milk. Many of my friends have had similar experiences.

3. One of the most common reasons new mamas stop breastfeeding is because they think their LO isn't getting enough milk. The best way to know if your child is getting enough milk is to keep track of his/her wet/dirty diapers and regularly go in for weight checks. My hospital allows free weight checks. At first we did these weekly. You can even weigh before and after a feeding to see how many ounces your baby is taking in. (It's not considered to be 100% accurate, but I did it once with my LC. When I saw the 4 ounce gain on the scale, I realized that he really was getting more than I thought.)


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## cat13 (Dec 8, 2010)

There's so much technical advice out there that's written so well, so I'd just refer to read a book like The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. But on the non-technical side, I'd recommend the mom to find as many people as she can that have successfully breastfed and rely on them, even if you can only find them online. When your breasts ache, when your MIL is trying to derail your efforts, when you feel like giving up, talk to someone else who's been successful and you will feel much better.


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## cristeen (Jan 20, 2007)

Some of the warning signs that there is a problem would have saved me so much heartache.

What "brick dust" is and what it means, and the fact that it is NOT normal.

That babe can have the "proper" number of wet dipes and still not be getting enough.

That a NB who screams inconsolably all night long (even when immediately off the breast, or even while being offered the breast) is not normal.

That a NB who doesn't poop at all for a week is not normal. If you haven't seen poo by 7 days old, there's a problem.

To prepare:

Find somewhere to weigh the baby the first few weeks if your HCP doesn't do so during pp visits. Or ask your HCP to do it. Rent a scale if necessary, but babe should be weighed every 2-3 days for the first 2 weeks, by which point baby should be starting to gain weight.

Find support - whether that means your mom/sister/grandma/best friend who BF. Whether that means the local LLL group, which welcomes pregnant moms seeking information.

Have the number of a local IBCLC by the phone. If you can't find one, a LLL leader will also work. But plan beforehand who you're going to call if there's a problem.

And one of the things I tell expectant moms (at least the one that seems to make the most impact) - formula feeding is expensive, stressful and time consuming. At peak I was spending $60/week on formula, and he refused to wean until almost 2 1/2! Do the math. I have over $100 invested in bottles/nipples/etc. We had to try 3 or 4 different brands of formula to find one that was well tolerated (constipation is not normal!!). The planning and thinking that went into even a trip to the store to make sure that I always had something for him to eat, and an extra just in case something unforeseen happened.

As someone who wanted to BF and couldn't, I resented every penny spent and every extra stressor imposed by bottle/formula feeding. I was so jealous of my mom friends who could just whip it out when their LO was hungry. And it could have been avoided had I known the warning signs and had the proper support.


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## purplerose (Dec 27, 2010)

cristeen- what was the issue that caused you to be unable to breastfeed? i didn't know that about the diaper count, it must have been scary to see things *looked* normal, but weren't 

here's my advice, which is the same as everyone else's.

1. it is normal for a baby to eat constantly. no schedule, no waiting 2 hours. this can go on for hours sometimes! growth spurts, illnesses, stress can cause them to feed more often.

2. if it hurts past the first few days of newness, have the latch checked. if it hurts like hell, please get help! i wish i had with my first when i had mastitis, instead of quitting from the pain. my first and fourth had the same latching problem, but i knew by #4 how to fix it. still got mastitis but i knew how to fix that, also.

3. have people to talk to who have breastfed longer than a couple of months, people who did not give up when they had problems. too many new moms take advice from grandma who claimed her sons couldn't get enough milk so she had to wean them at 2 weeks. then the new mom thinks she can't breastfeed her own sons. i knew a mom who wouldn't breastfeed bc she didn't eat well enough.

4. come to MDC if you are out of options and need help!


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## erigeron (Oct 29, 2010)

Definitely a call-out to oversupply/overactive letdown. We hear so much about how to tell if you don't have enough supply. I had the opposite experience. Here is roughly how I would address it:

There's a lot of information on what to do when you get engorged but it seemed kind of abstract to me even when it happened to me--I didn't recognize it as that. So I would note that it IS possible to have too much supply or be letting down too forcefully with your baby, and if you get engorged when your milk comes in, this might be a sign of it. If baby won't stay latched when you're that engorged it can be because the milk is just flowing too fast. The best way to deal at this early juncture with this combination of issues is to pump, with a GOOD pump, not a dinky little hand pump, until your breast is soft, and then try to nurse baby. We're told that pumping boosts supply, which is true in general, but pumping once to get the engorgement out probably won't make much of a difference; it's pumping on a regular basis that boosts supply.

OS/OALD can cause baby to choke and sputter and latch off the breast. Feeding in a position where baby's head is higher than the breast can help. A reclining position is good--doesn't have to be a full recline, even leaning back 10-15° while holding baby in the football hold can do the trick.

Other signs of OS/OALD--baby does not want to feed from the second breast (is full after finishing the first one), you can pump more than the average mom (as in, those dinky little 4 oz bottles that come with the pump do. not. cut. it.) Baby has a lot of foamy greenish poops--this means s/he is getting too much foremilk.

Block feeding--done to reduce supply. For a few hours (start out with 2-3 hours, increase as necessary), feed baby only on one side. Feed them whenever they ask, but only use that side. Pump the other side a little if it gets uncomfortable, but just pump to comfort.

On an unrelated note, leave out all language about such-and-such is the best/most natural breastfeeding position. I got so sick of hearing the amazing benefits of laid-back nursing and side-lying nursing extolled, and how both are SO NATURAL AND AWESOME, since neither worked for us when she was little. The best nursing position is the one that works for the mom and baby! They all have their pros and cons.

This would be more coherent, but I'm kinda tired.


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## cristeen (Jan 20, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *purplerose*
> 
> cristeen- what was the issue that caused you to be unable to breastfeed? i didn't know that about the diaper count, it must have been scary to see things *looked* normal, but weren't


He was lip tied. He went undiagnosed until he was 6 weeks old. At ~3 weeks we realized he was still losing weight and the MW made the assumption that I just wasn't making enough. By the time we figured out what the real problem was I was dry and couldn't relactate.


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## aeterna (Nov 6, 2008)

The best advice I took from these very boards while I was pregnant:

Don't wait to get help.


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## littlest birds (Jul 18, 2004)

When they get teeth and bite, instead of pulling them off, force them onto the breast.

They can only bite if they first slide partly off and are actually no longer latched on. (You've seen those pictures that show the nipple way back at the back of the babe's mouth/throat? If your BB is way in there where it belongs it's impossible to clamp teeth down because the mouth is too full.) If you push the breast INTO their mouth then they will either resume sucking or decide they don't want milk.

I wish I'd known that one a lot sooner.


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## Jennyanydots (Sep 8, 2011)

I would say that it can be normal for it it hurt, and hurt pretty bad, in the early days. Sure, sometimes pain can be a sign of a problem, so it's important to be watchful for other symptoms- but it can also be just a normal part of mom and a baby both being new to the whole thing, trying to figure it out together. Not to mention tender nipples that aren't used to that kind of treatment. I think all the literature that basically says "if it hurts, you're doing it wrong" can be incredibly damaging to a woman's confidence. Yeah, it probably hurts. And no, you're probably not doing it "wrong."

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *littlest birds*
> 
> When they get teeth and bite, instead of pulling them off, force them onto the breast.
> 
> ...


This is great! It only took me three kids to figure this out for myself. Ouchie!


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## GoBecGo (May 14, 2008)

My advices:

1) figure out the action plan BEFORE the baby is born. Ask yourself "what if THIS happens?", "what if THAT happens?" and what you will do. Read the good books and mark them with post-its for reference. Put the LC or LLL numbers on your fridge. Talk OH/DP through what you want him to do, and what you DON'T want him to do (as supportive as many partners are in principle, faced with a crying partner with cracked bleeding nipples and a screaming hungry baby LOTS of them want to drive to the store and buy some fix-it-formula!). Do it all ahead of time.

2) Try to visit with good friends who breastfeed OR visit a group with breastfeeding mamas. Sit RIGHT BY someone doing it and WATCH them latch several times, watch them nurse. In cultures where breastfeeding is the norm and rarely fails girls are seeing it done and taking in HOW to do it from when they themselves are still (as small kids) at the breast. Here it is so hidden a lot of mama's have never seen another woman do it! Get up close and personal with someone and SEE how it is done.

3) Figure out what is normal and what is not, and hold your nerve. The baby WILL NOT starve to death if there is still weightloss at 2 weeks! So long as you are WORKING at any issues you guys are having it is ok and the Right thing to do to persevere. All too often health professionals and family members will try to guilt a mom into formula by saying "but it will be best for the baby". MAMA is best for the baby, and you will be making hard decisions about your kids health for the rest of your life so begin as you mean to go on. Obviously ignoring weightloss or other obvious signs that things aren't going as they should isn't good, but there is NOTHING wrong with you having a learning curve to tackle. We have forgotten, culturally, that there is a learning curve, because with formula there isn't as much of one (because it's normal and visible in our culture and we have dolls we practised with already!). The learning curve is normal. Get help as early as you can, and feel proud of your good efforts, not guilty for making them.


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## cat13 (Dec 8, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *GoBecGo*
> 
> My advices:
> 
> ...


So true! I had no idea at the time, but even though DH was supporting me through the tears and calling LLL for me, in his mind he was ready to fly out of the house at a moment's notice to get some formula. Makes me so happy I decided to turn down all those free samples and not have any "just in case" formula in the house.


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## pammysue (Jan 24, 2004)

1. Breastfeeding is a wonderful natural thing, but it does not necessarily come naturally. Moms and babies need to learn how to do it effectively.

2. Even if you have to pay out of pocket, a LC is cheaper in the long run than formula.

3. If planning a hospital birth, do what you can to choose one with a LC on staff. Ask for a visit even if everything is good at the hospital. Everything is different at home. LCs will pass along info you can use at home.

3. While pregnant, tell those who will be supporting you post-partum (partner, family, etc), about your commitment to breastfeeding and ask them to remind you of that if it becomes "too hard." I begged my DH one night to just go buy some formula, that I couldn't stand it one more minute. He told me "no, this is important to you. I will do everything I can to help you through this." We called a LC and it helped save my bfing relationship with my son.

4. Related...don't stock formula "just in case." You won't need it.


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## rtjunker (May 11, 2011)

My advice:

Be aware of possible complications that may arise, but don't anticipate them. Breastfeeding can be natural and easy. Nurse often and for extended periods of time, especially in the first days and weeks. This will establish a good supply. In the first days at the hospital my LO was nursing more often than not. My nipples were SORE, and since everything I read said breastfeeding should not hurt, I was a little concerned about her latch, but common sense took hold of me, having a tiny suckling machine on my boob for hours on end will cause some tenderness, I used lanolin and within a few weeks no longer had any pain.

Scheduling breastfeeding doesn't work well. Baby is going through so much that only feeding every 2 or 3 hours may lead to problems with supply or even FTT. If baby is sick, or hitting a growth spurt (which happens very often in the early days), more feedings will be required. In the first few weeks it may feel like baby is attached to the boob 24/7, it won't stay like that, but it's very important to nurse often during this period to stimulate production of milk.

Cluster-feeding is common, often in the evening. My LO sometimes nurses almost continuously in the evening from 5-9, only giving me 15-30 minutes between feedings that can last 30-45 minutes. This seems to increase when my LO isn't feeling well. The upside of this continuous evening nursing is that she can then sleep for a nice chunk of time.

I think the most important thing to stress is that a mother's body tries to regulate itself to produce exactly how much milk baby needs based mostly on the suckling from baby. This means that supplementing with formula confuses Mom's body into producing less. So unless absolutely necessary, it's better to offer the breast more often than to supplement, this will tell Mom's body to produce more.

Also avoid introducing artificial nipples in the first few weeks, including bottles, pacifiers, and nipple shields. If baby is having difficulty latching, using any of these things can cause more problems.

This seems to be most of the relevant advice I've found in my obsessive reading, but I haven't had to deal with any real issues myself.


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## Dr.Worm (Nov 20, 2001)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *cat13*
> 
> So true! I had no idea at the time, but even though DH was supporting me through the tears and calling LLL for me, in his mind he was ready to fly out of the house at a moment's notice to get some formula. Makes me so happy I decided to turn down all those free samples and not have any "just in case" formula in the house.


Yeah, just want to second the advice to not keep formula samples in the house.. formula companies(Nestle' in particular) are not doing this for new moms out of the kindness of their hearts, they know you are vulnerable and will use it when you are desperate.


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## Dr.Worm (Nov 20, 2001)

One more thing...you have the right to nurse your baby wherever you have the legal right to be. Don't let anyone try to make you feel ashamed for nursing in public if you choose to.


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## wishin'&hopin' (Jun 2, 2008)

Knowing when I might expect growth spurts (and therefore increased nursing) was a HUGE help! And, that said, understanding supply and demand--that baby is asking to nurse more frequently in order to tell your body that they are going to need more milk as they grow!


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## rainface (Dec 18, 2007)

What I wish I had been told:

You may not love it all the time. Especially early on when it hurts so bad you have to psych yourself up not to scream when they latch on. And later, when they get distractible or wary of OAL and pop on and off until you feel like your nipples are going to run away. And when you just need a minute without another human being touching you. And when you get engorged during a night out without baby and you leak all down the front of your shirt at dinner. And if/when you go back to work and you have to pump and worry about pumping often enough, and how much you're getting, and coworkers walking in on you etc etc.

BUT, you're not a bad person if you don't love it all the time. If you don't feel like an angelic Madonna figure with infant tableau every time you nurse, you're still an awesome momma and YOU SHOULD STILL KEEP GOING. We have enough that we feel guilty about as mothers, don't buy into the idea that if you're not loving the baby hormones every second of the day, that you're not doing well.


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## Youngfrankenstein (Jun 3, 2009)

I really think all of this boils down to two things: Read and learn as much as possible before-hand, and have the phone number of someone you can call anytime to ask questions of. That's really what I needed.


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## 63977 (Sep 14, 2006)

For a second time around mom: Just because you don't have the huge amount of milk that you had with your first baby does not mean you don't have enough.


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## llwr (Feb 24, 2009)

I think the most important thing is to keep at it. I see so many moms quit in the first couple of weeks just because it was hard or they were afraid baby wasn't getting enough.

It most likely WILL be hard (and hurt) at first, but do it anyway. The difficult period doesn't last very long, and the rewards are so worth it. See a lactation consultant; lots of places offer for free or take insurance. Come LCs are better than others and breastfeeding changes once your milk comes in, so don't be afraid to go again or see someone different. Like PP said, it's still cheaper than formula. If you're worried about supply, find a place where you can weigh baby, either before and after a feed, or regularly for growth. Wet/dirty diapers are another good indicator.


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## foreverinbluejeans (Jun 21, 2004)

Babies are born knowing how to breastfeed. Breastfeeding isn't a learned skill. If you don't do anything to mess it up you have an excellent chance of breastfeeding with no significant difficulties.


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## Youngfrankenstein (Jun 3, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *foreverinbluejeans*
> 
> Babies are born knowing how to breastfeed. Breastfeeding isn't a learned skill. If you don't do anything to mess it up you have an excellent chance of breastfeeding with no significant difficulties.


Hmmm...this is not true. My first-born would either latch, and literally do nothing, or scream at the breast. I had to syringe feed and try to nurse him for at least 2 weeks. What do you suppose I did wrong?


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## Caneel (Jun 13, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *cat13*
> 
> So true! I had no idea at the time, but even though DH was supporting me through the tears and calling LLL for me, in his mind he was ready to fly out of the house at a moment's notice to get some formula. Makes me so happy I decided to turn down all those free samples and not have any "just in case" formula in the house.


Seriously! My DH was 100% supportive, went to breast feeding classes with me, the whole nine yards but broke down in tears the second day home from the hospital, begging me to give DS formula because he was worried DS was starving to death. It was a tough day but we got through it - see below.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *foreverinbluejeans*
> 
> Babies are born knowing how to breastfeed. Breastfeeding isn't a learned skill. If you don't do anything to mess it up you have an excellent chance of breastfeeding with no significant difficulties.


Ah, I respectfully disagree with this. I was so engourged that DS could not latch, my breasts were like bowling balls, he simply couldn't get any tissue at all. It was my aunt that told me to manually express enough milk out to enable him to latch. It was that simple yet he couldn't tell me!

Advance planning is invaluable. I thought I had it all covered but boy was I wrong! We went to classes, I read all (well, it seemed like all) of the books out there, came from a family that breastfeed their kids, all my friends BF and so on, how hard could it be?

If I had it to do over again, I would have had met with a LC privately (beyond the awesome yet over-worked one teaching the class at my hospital) prior to birth and had a plan in place to contact her asap when things started to go downhill for us. DS latched fine at the hospital, it was when my milk came in that the problems started.

Sadly, LLL was of no help to me when I called. It might be an issue related to the group in my area but when I called looking for help, the response was one of "sorry to hear that, I never had any problems and I don't know of anyone in the group that has, come to a meeting next week...." when we advice (over the phone, I wasn't asking anyone to drive to me) that Saturday afternoon.

LIke so many others said, it does get better and once it does, it is so rewarding and wonderful so hang in there.


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## erigeron (Oct 29, 2010)

Sure, babies as a group are born knowing how to breastfeed and women's bodies are designed for it, but that doesn't mean Nature doesn't sometimes need a little help, or a little help interpreting what's going on. My daughter totally "told" me at 3 days old that I was too engorged and my letdown was too forceful for her. Except she communicated this by pulling off the breast, choking, and crying, and I didn't know how to interpret this communication. Once someone with more experience helped me figure out what was going on and how to deal with it, we got on better. I don't think "it's natural, you totally got this" is very helpful advice. Those for whom it's easy won't need that advice, and those who struggle will just feel worse.


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## Erin77 (Aug 4, 2010)

I agree, I think that "breastfeeding is natural, don't mess it up," is exactly the kind of advice this thread was started to AVOID. It really invalidates the experience of all of us mothers who had a hard time, despite being natural humans with human babies. My son seemed to be born knowing jack squat, for the record.


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## purplerose (Dec 27, 2010)

nak.

it took me 2 months to get my fourth baby's latch worked out. my fourth child, you'd think there wouldn't be a problem! but she would NOT open her mouth wide enough to latch and instead slurped my nipple into her mouth. this caused cracked nipples and bleeding, mastitis, severe pain. it took alot of work to correct it and even now at 5 months she sometimes doesn't open all the way. yes, babies are born knowing to suck, but they don't always do it the right way!


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## suzywan (Feb 5, 2004)

Even if the latch looks textbook, it may still be off. Try biological breastfeeding: http://www.biologicalnurturing.com/pages/recipe.html

This saved my breastfeeding relationship with my second son! Once I gave him the option of latching on without any interference he did it spot on and the **excruciating** pain of the previous 5 weeks was gone. Granted, 5-6 weeks in is often when the pain begins to dissipate, but it was such a quick turnaround that the new method had to have some part.


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## girlspn (Apr 14, 2011)

If it hurts, keep asking for help.

In the early days of nursing, my dd gummed even though all the midwives said her latch looked fine. The pain was excruciating and determined as I was, I wondered how I could possibly breastfeed only as I'd planned to with this pain. I asked every midwife and LC on duty at the hospital about it while I was there. Finally, one midwife helped me out and things got much better after a month. I was ready to give up quite a few times that month, but just kept telling myself to keep at it for just one more day.

At some point breastfeeding became effortless in the baby's second month. I kept going to LLL meetings for the support.


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## Quinalla (May 23, 2005)

1. Read books and take a class if you have time, but...

2. Have a LC or other knowledgeable BFing person with you for your first few feedings until you get the hang of it. I ended up supplementing some at the start and I probably could have avoided it if I had been visited by a LC right away instead of an hour or so before I left the hospital.

3. You will feel the baby sucking and it often hurts at first but at the very least it is very noticeable, my DD latched on beautifully, but she wasn't actually sucking to get anything, just comfort sucking a bit and I didn't realize it until the LC showed up as the nurses I had just checked her latch and nothing else. I was starting to wonder since it seemed like she fell asleep so quick and I wasn't feeling much and the LC helped, but I was pretty much out of there and really needed more help. If I had had it from the start, she probably would not have lost as much weight as she did. Anyway, somewhat specific, but this was the big things that all the books, advice and classes didn't really emphasize. Most focused on getting the perfect latch, so I was fine there and it helped my DD was good at it, but I didn't really understand that sucking would be unmistakable since a lot of the books and classes try to downplay any pain to not discourage people.

4. And yeah, as other have said, it gets so much easier after the few few weeks.


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## krumelada (Mar 7, 2012)

That some of us have to find a new definition of successful breastfeeding.

The having low supply doesn't mean you love your child any less - your love is just more concentrated into smaller amounts of milk.


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## mambera (Sep 29, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *foreverinbluejeans*
> 
> Babies are born knowing how to breastfeed. Breastfeeding isn't a learned skill. If you don't do anything to mess it up you have an excellent chance of breastfeeding with no significant difficulties.


Gee, this is horrible advice. Babies know how to suck, that's about it but that's not all there is. Breastfeeding takes two and it is absolutely a learned skill. A 6-month-old is far and away better at it than a newborn, and a mom who has breastfed before has a huge leg up over one who hasn't.

I would echo cristeen's advice about how to tell whether the baby is getting enough. I also had avoidable low supply with my first babe (though not as severe as cristeen's - I ended up with about an 80% supply and had to supp the rest), and it was a huge PITA. A little information would have gone a long way. My second babe was quite similar to my first actually - sleepy newborn, needed to be woken for feeds - but since I'd learned the hard way already, I knew I needed to wake her to eat and we are doing just fine this time around.

I think every new mom should know the 'norms':

- newborns should be gaining minimum 0.5 oz/day, optimum 1 oz/day

- 6-8 wet diapers per day

- after the meconium is gone, babe should be having frequent yellow poops: 1 poo the first day milk comes in, 2 poos the second day, 3 poos the third day then evens out at 4+ poos per day

- also, the fact that there is a critical window for supply establishment, and it is pretty tight (about 2 weeks).

This is helpful to know because it offers 'hard data', which is reassuring to moms who are needlessly doubtful, and gives moms whose babies really aren't getting enough an early signal to seek help.

What is truly *not* helpful is "Just keep breastfeeding and everything will be fine! Just don't stop breastfeeding! Fussy baby? Normal! Frequent eater? Normal! Slow gainer? Normal! Not pooing? Oh, that's just a variation of normal!" It's like total denial that there could ever be a problem. So my other piece of advice is, don't listen to people who tell you that kind of thing but *don't* offer you a way to tell when something is really not right.


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## LilMomma83 (Jan 20, 2007)

I didn't read all the replies, but, I would really stress to them that if something doesn't seem right (for example, a lot of pain, baby not gaining etc) that they seek help...keep asking until they find an answer that works. Breastfeeding may be natural but it is not always easy. I had a REALLY hard time with all 3 of mine (one I had nailbiting pain for 6 months and 1 was mostly FF from 2 months and never latched again after about 6 months), it's only been my 3rd baby where I started truly reaching out for help. She's 3 months and we would have quit by 1 month if I had not reached out to various professionals and volunteers and even friends for help (and we've seen so much improvement and even the emotional support has been so helpful...I don't know how many times I have called my IBCLCs crying and they have listened and stood by my side). Now I have people asking me for help all the time..I LOVE helping - it is a passion for me, new moms should realize them asking someone for help is not inconveniencing and most of the time the person will want to help them.


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## chocolate1900 (Jan 5, 2007)

Some women are super lucky and bf is a breeze from the start. I hope you are one of them!

But for the rest of us (most I think!):

Be passionate and focused on your goal of nursing, it will be easy and smooth EVENTUALLY and it will be at least one of, if not THE MOST REWARDING thing in your lifetime.

Let your babe try to suck immediately after birth, then as often and as long as he/she wants for the next 6 weeks. Don't even think of looking at a clock or timer and if you are in a hospital just try to get out of there as soon as possible so you can get home and rest and nurse in peace and quiet.

If your mother or sister or other family member nursed exclusively for some time, ask them to come as soon as the baby is born to supervise the first few latches and again over the next few days for support and help.

If you have major problems (and I had some of the worst), hire a lactation consultant WHOSE NUMBER YOU'VE HAD SINCE YOU WERE PREGNANT. If she is too critical and overwhelming, FIRE HER and hire someone who is kind and supportive and says you will be able to do it NO MATTER WHAT. There is literally NOTHING that can prevent a mother from feeding her baby except a DOUBLE mastectomy, or the mother's will giving up on her. Anything else is HOGWASH.

Don't pump or give any formula (no matter what anyone says) until your supply is established and nursing is seamless. You will be the judge of when that is (if ever). Usually it's between 6 -12 weeks.

If you have the opportunity, GO WATCH an experienced breastfeeding mama nurse her new infant, and watch how he/she latches on and off.

Go MAMA!


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## chocolate1900 (Jan 5, 2007)

oops I forgot one, a very important one:

SUPPLY matches DEMAND...

and in the case of breastfeeding, the supply lags behind the demand by a few days to a couple of weeks. So if your baby is crying alot, NURSE ALOT and NURSE EXCLUSIVELY and you will have more milk in a few days. This is NORMAL and the ONLY way your body knows EXACTLY how much milk to make for YOUR child's specific needs. (Indeed, low supply is most often caused by not breastfeeding often or long enough, due to whatever other facotrs - formula supplementing or timing feedings or whatever! Mamas can even make enough milk to nurse twins exclusively, so you will not have low supply if you take care of yourself and nurse alot!)


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## erigeron (Oct 29, 2010)

I'd like to add a "for most people" or "caution" to a lot of this.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *chocolate1900*
> 
> Be passionate and focused on your goal of nursing, it will be easy and smooth EVENTUALLY and it will be at least one of, if not THE MOST REWARDING thing in your lifetime.
> 
> ...


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## LilMomma83 (Jan 20, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *erigeron*
> 
> I'd like to add a "for most people" or "caution" to a lot of this.


Thanks...if I had listened to advice (in fact I did for a couple weeks) of not supplimenting my baby would have starved...she literally transfered less than 1/4 ounce of milk in feedings that lasted for an hour. I also agree that moms need to be encouraged, but, not made to feel like they failed if they are unsuccessful. Until you have gone through extreme breastfeeding dificulty you just have no idea or understanding what it is like. I stopped BF when my middle was 6 months and it truly was the best decision for us....it was my lactation consultant who finally said she would support me to the end no matter what choice I made, but, I had to make the best choice for me family...breastfeeding him was too much stress on my family.

That said, for 75% or more people the other advice is probably perfect


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## Mulvah (Aug 12, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *penguintattoo*
> 
> That the first few weeks are the hardest, but by 6 weeks it's so much easier. Usually by then the initial soreness is gone and your supply has started to even out.


This. But, I would actually say 6-8 weeks.


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## Partaria (Sep 7, 2010)

That what some books say, which is "It shouldn't hurt at all if you are doing it right" isn't true for all mamas.

It hurt to breastfeed for I would say, our first 3 months or so. And I had our latch checked, I had DS checked for tongue tie, I was checked for thrush, on and on. And nothing was "wrong." It just hurt because I had never done it before. And letdown was excruciatingly painful.

It was something I had to gut out, but it was harder to deal with it when everyone insinuated that my pain was down to me doing something "wrong." I drove myself insane trying to figure out what the issue was, when really, it wasn't anything.


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## Dr.Worm (Nov 20, 2001)

And I forgot..get a boppy pillow and some Lansinoh cream!


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## ashleybess (Jun 22, 2009)

I must say, I don't really like it when women use phrases like "screaming pain" to describe the sensation of baby latching in the early days/ weeks. I think this is an exaggeration and misleading and has the potential to scare pregnant women. I think if you have that kind of pain, something is wrong - the latch is off, mastitis, etc. I think "tenderness" is a more accurate word to describe the feeling when baby first latches on in the first week or so.

Aside from that, though, the biggest thing I wish I'd known or that I wish someone had told me is that some babies nurse almost constantly, and this is normal. If you have a baby who is high needs, commit yourself to meeting his / her nursing needs, lower your expectations for getting anything else done and ask for help.


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## erigeron (Oct 29, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *ashleybess*
> I think "tenderness" is a more accurate word to describe the feeling when baby first latches on in the first week or so.


That may have been accurate for you. Not for me. Not for some others either. For me, I knew when she had finally latched because it hurt so much it took my breath away. She was mildly tongue-tied and I had flat nipples. We were still able to nurse fine but it did take time for my body to adjust (probably about 3-4 weeks until it stopped hurting). If you were lucky enough not to experience this kind of pain, please don't tell others that they're incorrect in their descriptions of their own experiences.


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## ashleybess (Jun 22, 2009)

Hi, I am sorry you had that kind of pain. I did not intend to invalidate your experience. As you say, though, you had unusual circumstances - tongue-tiedness and flat nipples. This is what I meant by "something is wrong" - perhaps I should amend that to say something is unusual or abnormal. I do still believe that that kind of intense pain is not the norm and does indicate that either something is wrong or there is an anatomical obstacle, as you had. You obviously did an awesome job of working through your special circumstances and persevering! Of course it's important to share those sorts of experiences should a new mother encounter similar obstacles, but my point was that I think we should emphasize that intense "toe-curling" pain is not a feature of the normal course of breastfeeding in most women, because it isn't.

Breastfeeding already has enough adversity in our culture. I also had difficulty establishing breastfeeding with my first child (he was premature and we used a nipple shield for the first two months) but when sharing advice with new mothers I prefer to emphasize that breastfeeding is a natural, normal, beautiful and integral part of the mother-child bond which, while it requires some skill, needn't be fraught with difficulty.


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## erigeron (Oct 29, 2010)

I get what you're saying. When I talk to new moms/soon-to-be-moms, I don't *emphasize* pain. But I do feel it's important to point out that while once it works it can be really great, the first 2-4 weeks can really suck hard, and not to be shy about asking for help. Then if she has a really easy time herself, she'll be like, hey, that was a total cakewalk! And if she has difficulties, she can be like, well, it's been difficult for other people too. Rather than WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME IT WOULD BE THIS HARD? I think even a lot of moms who go on to breastfeed for a while may have some minor problems in the beginning, and every problem is significant when you're a sleep-deprived new mom who has no idea what she's doing.

I wouldn't want anybody to think that having a lot of pain is normal, and not seek help with it, but I also think the "if it hurts you're doing it wrong" isn't accurate in all cases either, and I'd like to combine the two messages.


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## MelissaGil (Oct 25, 2012)

Breastfeeding is an ever changing journey and to know what is normal in the first year as baby grows, becomes more efficient, your milk supply levels off, the distracted baby, teething, adjustment of latch when top teeth come in, ect. Baby continues to feed differently as they go through their first year.


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## ashleybess (Jun 22, 2009)

I totally agree, erigeron. The same goes for birth... though I do have a "horror story" followed by a wonderful homebirth, I avoid telling the first one unless explicitly asked, though I do my best to convey to an expectant mother that birth is HARD work and things don't always go as planned. I'm glad we could get on the same page and understand one another. I am overwhelmed by the variety of available 'emoticons' so I'll just say


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## contactmaya (Feb 21, 2006)

I would say, it can be really hard at first (for some it is not) It is definitely worth persevering, and it gets so much easier as time goes on. For me with my first, everything got so much easier around the 4 month mark


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## nettster (Nov 18, 2012)

BEST advice i got.

Invest in a breast pump! other then that the "when you start breastfeeding advice" a lactation consultant is gold, as well as a post-partum doula.

not only can they help you catch up on things but they have normally seen several women breast feed and if you don't have a LC on hand can give you some valuable advice and support on a regular basis.

second piece of advice i got:

IGNORE all the horror stories you hear. for every horror story there is likely 10 positive ones. just like with birth if someone had an easy birth they generally don't go bragging about how smooth it went (i actually had to ask family members about it) but the horror stories are everywhere. and there is a reason for it. 

most women who have positive experience don't go gossiping about it because it was a beautiful experience for them that was a personal one (they will normally share when asked but for them to run around spreading it isn't really a norm) where as when you have a horror story of a birth you generally are more willing to run out and spread the word about it because you had a plan it didn't go to plan and you are generally seeking those who have had a similar experience since it was a negative one.

For every positive breastfeeding or birthing story i have heard i have had to ASK the person about it. for every horror story it was given without my asking just talking about it. with breast feeding i have also had the lovely option of knowing 2 kinds of people (i am generalizing this since there are so many more but they can be grouped together fairly simply)

1) those who believe breast milk is best and will breast feed or express for bottles.

2) those who think formula is "just as good" and dont care to breast feed or express to give via a bottle.

there is group 3 who have medical problems etc and cant give breast milk but those aren't included (that's special circumstances which sometimes cant be avoided)

I have noticed advice about babies from these groups varies HUGELY group 1 will encourage you and group 2 will be more willing to go why bother?

i am incredibly lucky and both my family and DH family are natural birth and breast feeding buffs. so i have allot of support from those respects but with support comes advice. the best tip about pregnancy, birthing, and breastfeeding i ever got was from both my mother in law and my mother (which made me laugh)

BEST TIP about pregnancy parenting etc:

IF you DO NOT want outside advice from people or are becoming overwhelmed with it stop people (mid-sentence if you have to) and say

"Thank you for trying to help but right now i am not looking for advice if you want send me and email with it and if i run into a problem i think you can help with i will let you know for now we are doing just fine."

by far best advice i have had with my pregnancies since EVERYONE has an opinion and the area we live in is big into "ease and convenience" not my style at all.


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## Habibah (Nov 15, 2012)

Pretty much what everyone else said. Also, drink something hot before each session; it helps with let down. Drink plenty other times too. When baby feels like she/he is nursing your backbone, that's more milk being made. For an extra hungry baby, by the time the second breast is finished; there's probably some more ready in the first breast. No matter how aggravating life gets, breastfeeding is when its perfect. So enjoy it.


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

My advice would be: ASK FOR HELP if you have any doubts at all. And if you need the help, it does NOT mean you're a failure.

Also, in the event that you do need to supplement, it doesn't mean you have to stop breastfeeding, nor does it mean you will necessarily ALWAYS need to supplement. I had a massive hemorrhage after DD's birth and didn't have enough blood left to make enough milk at the start. In retrospect, having successfully nursed her for 3 years and gotten my certification as a breastfeeding educator, I know that's a perfectly reasonable and valid reason to use a bit of formula! But at the time, it was devastating. With the help of some awesome public health nurses, a good breast pump, and my fantastically fabulous IBCLC doctor, I was eventually able to wean off the formula and nurse exclusively. A few months later I was even able to donate a bit to a friend who had persistent supply issues due to PCOS. She had to supplement until her little guy was able to eat enough people food to make up the caloric difference - but she continued to nurse until he was 2. If you need a bit of something extra, it's NOT the end of your nursing relationship. Exclusive breastfeeding is ideal, but even non-exclusive breastfeeding is still pretty darned awesome. Even if you've had one breast removed and the other is hypoplastic and you lost half your weight in blood during delivery and you have PCOS and were born male, whatever little bit of breastfeeding you can do can still be hugely rewarding. There's nothing like the rush of love you get, looking down at your sweet little baby smiling at your breast - it eventually makes it all worthwhile.


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## Songy (May 7, 2012)

My advice is to take it easy and spend the first 4 weeks or so bonding with the baby. Lots of skin-to-skin time in bed. Lots of on-demand nursing. Stay home and nurture and be nurtured. Have a plan for people to help with food and chores so that your ONLY job is healing and bonding. (Post partum doulas are FANTASTIC.) For me, this long stretch of focused attention on me and baby helped me to really get to know her, understand her needs, and learn how to be responsive. Every baby is different and it takes time to get to know your baby. Spending the time in the begining makes the rest of it so much easier. Plus, if your body is stressed, your milk supply will suffer.


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## contactmaya (Feb 21, 2006)

i like that. nurture and be nurtured, make that priority no.1


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## MelissaGil (Oct 25, 2012)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *ashleybess*
> 
> I must say, I don't really like it when women use phrases like "screaming pain" to describe the sensation of baby latching in the early days/ weeks. I think this is an exaggeration and misleading and has the potential to scare pregnant women. I think if you have that kind of pain, something is wrong - the latch is off, mastitis, etc. I think "tenderness" is a more accurate word to describe the feeling when baby first latches on in the first week or so.
> 
> Aside from that, though, the biggest thing I wish I'd known or that I wish someone had told me is that some babies nurse almost constantly, and this is normal. If you have a baby who is high needs, commit yourself to meeting his / her nursing needs, lower your expectations for getting anything else done and ask for help.


Well, I had some 'screaming' pain, I didn't literally scream because I am not a screamer, but I did cry almost every time and my toes would curl. Every time my son latched between 2 and 4 weeks it was like a spear from my nipple through my body out my back! It lasted about 10-15 seconds every time. I saw a Lactation Consultant... there were no issues with latch or transfer, no mastitis, nothing. We have since gotten over it. He is 9 months old now.

But the advise I would give would be that breastfeeding changes. As baby grows/gets older their nursing technique, duration, challenges and everything changes. Breastfeeding evolves over the first year. If you are unsure of something being normal, as a LC, google it, go to kellymom.com or some other trusted source, you'll find many people have the same hurdles when their baby's are at certain ages.


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## contactmaya (Feb 21, 2006)

breastfeeding can be painful. Supporting breastfeeding doesnt mean lying about it. It was painful for me with my first, and 'screaming pain' is a fairly accurate description. Everyone is different, but pain upon breastfeeding for those not used to it is within the range of normal.


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## Habibah (Nov 15, 2012)

I nursed all nine of my children. They weaned themselves when I became pregnant with the next; I guess the milk changed. Anyway, from day 3 (when my milk came in) through the second week I had to find something to hold so I wouldn't hurt my baby. The pain is there. Everyone is different and everyone's pain is different. Yay to those who nursed pain free; but don't minimize what someone else feels. That's why we have this forum.


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## AprilMary (Jan 8, 2013)

Football hold for the first few weeks worked well for me.


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## MommyBluebird (Dec 13, 2012)

Oh, I actually just wrote a blog post on this very topic, but I don't think I'm allowed to share my posts here... let me try to remember the basics:

-You really need to prepare yourself for the pain of breastfeeding--and know that it only hurst for the first few weeks! Once you get past this hump, it really is the most beautiful and relaxing gift you can give your infant! It helped me to count for 30 seconds when I started nursing, deep breaths (like getting through a contraction)--and after those quick 30 seconds, the pain is gone!

-Kangaroo Touch is a great way to get the baby to latch on faster and easier after birth (skin to skin contact).

-Buy washable breast pads, because you can leak often, especially when you're nursing on the other breast! I have used the same washable breast pads since my first was born, and I never have any embarrassing wet spots on my shirt! (plus- I save a lot of trash from going to the landfill by not buying disposable breast pads).

I can't remember the rest, but I hope these tips help! =)


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## AJBatista (Jan 6, 2013)

I to often hear unsettling stories about women who can't breast feed or think that they are not producing enough milk, etc. There is almost nothing more frustrating to me than hearing so many women give up on breastfeeding because they think they can't. Just about any woman who can give birth can nurse their babies. certainly there are rare exceptions, but they are extremely rare. The problem is, is that women don't understand how daunting a task it can be at first. In order to produce a sufficient amount of milk a mom needs to be relaxed. Further the other problem, is that breastfeeding is not that easy at first. It can be painful, uncomfortable, and tedious. too many women give up before they get the hang of it. That is unfortunate because once you get the hang of it (in my opinion) it is easy, peasy 

New moms can't expect that it will be simple at first. It most likely won't be. I think that too many hospitals push formula as well and have a habit of making women think they are not producing enough milk. What new moms need to realize is that a babies stomach is only as big as their tiny fist. they don't need too much at first. They will nurse throughout the day and they will do so sufficiently as long as mom is relaxed.

From my own experience, I struggled with my daughter at first and there were moments when I thought about just switching to the bottle. Thankfully for me I was persuaded to hang in there and keep trying. Sooner than later my milk flowed and flowed and my daughter had a FREE unlimited supply of nutrition. I nursed her for two years and I am so thankful that I did. My daughter is 12 years old now and till this day she rarely ever gets sick. When she does come down with something it only ever lasts about 12 hours and then she's fine. Her immune system is very strong. Further, she was an easy baby. Never had colic or all the other baby ailments. She has never had any digestion issues, etc. Furthermore she is very bright and I think that being breastfed for so long has a lot to do with. Not only is she super healthy and super smart but because I had that bond with her, she is a very confident kid. I contribute the bulk of her good health and wonderful qualities to having been breastfed.

I stopped nursing her after a little more than two years because I just felt that I needed my body back. Sometimes I wish I had nursed her longer, but at least she got the necessary time frame to reap all of the benefits. I know a lot of women struggle with how to stop nursing their toddlers without emotionally hurting their little ones. So here is how I did it and it worked for me..She was already two years old and many kids at that age have discovered the difference between being a bay and being a big kid. generally they all want to be like the big kids. They become proud of themselves when they do more grown up things like using the potty and feeding themselves, etc. So when I noticed that my little one was becoming more and more proud of her milestones I simply told her that she had drank all of mommies milk. That she drank it all up and there was no more left. She was not hurt or upset, yet she was very proud of herself. She graduated from breast to sippy cup and never used a bottle. She even went around and declared her accomplishment to everyone saying, "I'm a big girl now, I drank up all of mommies milk!"

Over a decade later I am having baby number 2 and i am looking forward to nursing him as well. I wish I knew then (with my first) what I know now


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## skycheattraffic (Apr 16, 2012)

I want to echo some pp tips

1) Breastfeeding is a skill to be learned and it may not get off the ground smoothly right away. I had a healthy, full term, just about 8 lb baby girl and she would flick the nipple out with her tongue every time, then scream in frustration.
2) you may need to pump or even give formula in the beginning until the baby learns to nurse. Hopefully this won't apply to many but some babies need more help before they learn to breastfeed effectively.
3) Needing the help of a pump/formula initially doesn't mean you've failed but that you're trying hard to persevere. I ended up EPing for ten weeks for my little girl before she transitioned to being EBF. This is not typical but it can happen and I don't for a minute regret any bottles or formula I had to use to get us over that hump. She's 21 months but nursing like a champ in spite of my current pregnancy.
4) follow your gut and seek help sooner rather than later if something about nursing or the baby has you concerned.
5) nursing changes week to week and month to month. For many it gets easier but usually there are a few rough patches here and there
6) babies don't self wean. Babies will sometimes go on a nursing strike but the nursing relationship will survive in the vast majority of cases. (I do remember reading a thread here on MDC where sadly, the baby continued to refuse the breast for weeks. This is very rare but I certainly don't want to negate any moms' experiences who have gone through this.)
7) most moms get less shy about NIP as their confidence and skill grow. I'm hoping to tandem nurse once my second LO is born and really hope to nurse simultaneously in public. Why? Just so it's not so unheard of


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## mommyammons (Oct 23, 2012)

here is a little more advice that I wish I had known....apparently it took me a little while to catch on (guess I was sleep deprived...lol)

Use the bathroom (if possible) before sitting down to nurse baby bc as a new mother it's often difficult to hold your pee for any length of time and it's also difficult to get pants down, wipe, pants back up, and wash hands, all while nursing a baby (trust me, I know)

Also grab a snack and definitely something to drink before you sit down to nurse. I was always sooooo thirsty while nursing!

Keep a pillow nearby also. Our maybe 2. One for propping up baby, and one for resting on. Breastfeeding also made me very sleepy, especially early on.

And finally, I finally figured out that you might as well wait until after you feed the baby to change the diaper bc chances are they will poop again either while eating or while burping









I hope this helps







I'll be nursing my 5th baby soon!


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## dechaoui (Dec 9, 2011)

Take it one day at a time. Nursing a newborn is nothing like nursing a 3-month-old. It's tough at first but so intensely beautiful after the first few months! Also, new nursing moms need all the help they can get to make it through those first weeks. Even simple tasks such as cutting up your food can be impossible with a baby nursing almost constantly. If I, or my loved ones, had understood those things before my daughter was born (I don't come from a nursing family), the beginning of my nursing relationship would have gone much more smoothly.


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## LateNightMommy (Nov 5, 2012)

Learn the signs of thrush and watch for them. This was you can catch and treat it early, before it makes its way into your milk ducts. If you catch it early, using gentian violet will usually clear it up in 3 days with some relief immediately. No waiting for doctors visits or expensive creams that take weeks to work. But make sure you use a nipple cream to prevent drying. Good luck!!


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## erinmattsmom88 (Oct 28, 2010)

I concur with everyone here. One thing you really need to get in your head is that in the beginning, the baby is going to nurse very frequently, sometimes every hour. Baby is hungry frequently and the more you nurse, the more milk you produce. So, let's say it takes 30 minutes per nursing session. Yep, you literally will be turning around and doing it all over again after hardly any time has gone by after the last session, and feel like you are nursing constantly. Well, yes, you pretty much will be. It's hard to grasp this idea with a first baby. I had trouble wrapping my head around this with DD despite everything I read and was taught. It's different when you are actually doing it. With my second I expected this so I just threw my hands up and said ready, set, go!!!! Set up a nursing station at home with books, magazines, pillows, blankets, burp cloths, wipes, the remote to the tv, phone, laptop, drinks, snacks, etc so that you will have everything you need close while you nurse your baby. Someone said go to the bathroom first. Yep, do that. Someone else mentioned about waiting to change baby's diaper until after he eats. Yes, it works better that way. I can add to this advice... after the baby eats, wait a few minutes, then change the diaper. Keep baby close and listen. With both DD and DS, and right around the same age (1-2 months), I went to change their diaper after nursing and did not wait those few minutes. I had a lovely experience with both children that is vivid in my memory. They both pooped and peed, with extreme force, which caused it to go airborne across the room. They both did it to me. DD's was a mess, but not as bad as DS and didn't go as far as his. DS's shot across the room and hit everything in its path until it rested all over my blinds in the window!!! Adding insult to injury, both these incidents were in the middle of the night. DH was woken up to help!! That yellow BM poop is hard to remove! It's funny now, but I was so mad!! I just wanted to go back to sleep, but couldn't because I had to clean up. DH helped somewhat.









Tell people who discourage you or are not supportive to go away! Three months into BF my son, my father, who is a doctor, told me basically that DS had had enough BM and that formula is no big deal. Disclaimer... he is not a pediatrician or OB/Gyn. Then, around the time my son was 1.5, my mother started asking me every single time we talked on the phone if I was still nursing DS. One time she said, "Really? You're not going to nurse him until he's 5 are you?" She should know better, much better than my dad, she's a nurse!! I had to put her in her place that day. Actually I think they acted crazy with DD too. She was first so they should have remembered when DS came.









Once you get your groove on, it will be sooo easy.


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## prairiewolf21 (Jul 14, 2012)

My only question is, what do you do with a two and a half year old when you're always breastfeeding ? Lol I have come to the conclusion that I'm going to breasted and pump simply because I can only take a short time off work, maybe two months if I'm lucky, but still what's everyone's advice when it comes to breastfeeding and entertaining a two year old?


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## bearandotter (Apr 18, 2012)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *prairiewolf21*
> 
> My only question is, what do you do with a two and a half year old when you're always breastfeeding ? Lol I have come to the conclusion that I'm going to breasted and pump simply because I can only take a short time off work, maybe two months if I'm lucky, but still what's everyone's advice when it comes to breastfeeding and entertaining a two year old?


I had a 16 month old and a newborn. It was hard to keep an eye and give attention to the 'big' one while BFIng. Here are some tips that helped:

-Basket of 'special' toys/books to be played with beside you or at your feet while you are BFing. Played with only then so that they remain special.

-Basket of prepacked snacks and water bottle for your 'big' one kept where you BF. Mine ALWAYS got thirsty/hungry as soon as I got baby latched.

-Learn to BF in a ring sling/wrap/carrier asap. From quite early on I could atleast follow 'big' into another room, or eventually run at the park while BFing. Even if you need one arm to support baby/your boob in the first few months, you still get one arm free to help your other child.

-Come to grips with the fact that not everyone can get instant assistance all the time (this was really hard for me). Big had to learn that sometimes she had to wait a few min to get her needs met. Baby also occasionally had to wait 5 min so I could get the big one settled before I was able to feed.

-If you end up pumping. Buy or make a pumping bra (cut slits into a cheap sportsbra). It will make you hands free and better able to deal with real life while pumping. Bonus points for getting a 'sexy' or lacy pumping bra. They make me smile/laugh and smiling and laughing increases letdown


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## Suryarise (Jan 27, 2013)

Trust your instincts and get like-minded support while pregnant. I had visions while pregnant of breastfeeding bliss. I was so unprepared for the immense challenge it was for me in the beginning. My LO was tiny and lethargic and losing weight - we needed to get milk in her fast! We supplemented with other moms' milk and goat milk and I pumped and nursed constantly. I was so scared and exhausted and recovering from a fairly traumatic birth experience (I also had visions of a blissful labor) that there were many times I wanted to give up - meaning switch to formula. I am grateful for the support I got from my midwife, doula, husband and friends. But it came down to my own determination because it was so important to me to be able to BF. I would say to my pregnant self that yes, breastfeeding is natural and beautiful and eventually easy, but it may be hard in the beginning, so hard that you want to give up. And if you push past that feeling and keep trying and get all the help you can, it will be so incredibly worth it.


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## ashleybess (Jun 22, 2009)

I should clarify: I am not saying I don't believe a woman who says she has "screaming pain" while breastfeeding. Having had the experience of having my own sense data invalidated by hospital staff during labor with my first child, I would never do that to another woman. But I still find it mystifying that someone would have pain of that caliber with no apparent cause. I sympathize with women who had that experience but I am confused by it. I wonder if there are historical accounts of this kind of pain in breastfeeding women?


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## rktrump (Jan 18, 2013)

I didn't read all the comments but agree with those I did. There's one thing I didn't run into - how the breast actually works. I didn't understand this at first and it caused a lot of unnecessary worry. For example, I was concerned about pumping and how if I pumped too close to when my newborn might need to feed, I thought I'd be hurting his supply. Now that I understand I'm constantly producing milk, it's not an issue. I found a great description of it here:

http://www.breastfeedingsymbol.org/education/

Also, I've gotta agree with: IT GETS BETTER!!! How hard it is in the first couple weeks or months is in no way indicative of how it will be. The pain stops. You figure out what works for you. Baby figures it out. Everything gets easier. (CANNOT say the same about baby sleep ) I also wanted to know when it gets better - I'd estimate 6 - 8 weeks in.


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## prairiewolf21 (Jul 14, 2012)

I gave up two weeks in with my first child and regret it, my daughter had sloughed all the skin off my nipples and I didn't know why, I just thought I was bad at verdigrising, I didn't know she wasn't latching properly. I live in a very rural town (like 60 people small) and had no help. I know better now but I also know it's going to be hard, my mom was in the era of if you breastfed you were white trash, so she's as clueless as I was lol.


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## Delgadomom4 (Jan 10, 2013)

For me, I could not get the breast pump to work. I had a consultant help me and still it would not work. I ended up manually pumping my milk with my hand. This was easy and very efficient. I breastfed my oldest for 18 months. my two other children, for 12 months and they self weaned. My sister had preeclampsia, her son was born early and the breast pump would not work for her either. I showed her how to manually pump using her hand and she successfully breastfed her son and her second child. No body ever taught me this, it was something I had to research on my own. I know of others that could not pump or breast feed because of inverted nipples and if they had know about manually pumping they may have been able to continue using their breast milk.


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## prairiewolf21 (Jul 14, 2012)

It just comes down to not enough education. They encouraged bf at the hospital but were very abrupt and didn't explain things in a way my blood loss brain could handle...I had to have two blood transfusion from bleeding so badly and I wasn't exactly coherent enough to understand much lol. They were more like... you WILL bf and you will just know what to do. Lol


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Yeah - hospitals are not the best places to learn how to breastfeed. I mean, it's good that they try to teach and everything, but honestly, they're aiming the teaching at entirely the wrong person. The mamas are NOT going to retain ANYTHING that is said in the hospital. They should help the mamas, but teach the partners anything technical about pumps or latching technique or whatever. I'm a postpartum doula, I think I've asked all my clients who gave birth in the hospital what the nurses told them about breastfeeding (because I don't want to go and say something completely opposite, that's just confusing) but most of them have no clue what they were told.


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## perfectlessons (Jan 19, 2013)

(oops)


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## perfectlessons (Jan 19, 2013)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MrsGregory*
> 
> I heard lots of fluffy nonsense about breastfeeding, and the nightnurse at the hospital set me straight.
> 
> ...


1. Amen

2. Amen!

3. Amen

4. Amen

Thanks for writing my post for me 

4x Breastfeeding mama - heading for our 5th in last Spring


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## skycheattraffic (Apr 16, 2012)

Lol about bf help in the hospital. Ok the LC that came to see us was awesome and had us start finger feeding to train DD not to push out with her tongue. That was great. The nurse on the other hand? When I rung to get help with nursing (as they asked me to do) she grabbed my breast in one hand, grabbed DD's head in the other and smushed them together. Great technical, precision help









My tip: don't be discouraged if nursing doesn't work right away and don't stress if baby refuses at first. There's a very good chance that nursing will work in a few days/weeks - provided you build your supply and keep at it.


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## lunchforthesky (Jan 29, 2013)

This is a quote from one of my area IBCLCs. I didn't go through all the pages of advice on here so maybe this was mentioned, but I LOVE this analogy.

*"The other thing to know about milk supply is that the early hours, days and weeks of feeding establish the milk supply from three months and beyond. At the three month mark, hormones are less of a player in milk supply. This is why some moms who see a drop in supply at three months are unable to rebound from it. If they limited feedings, used a pacifier, separated from baby, supplemented unnecessarily, etc. in the early weeks, it will be more difficult to make a full supply later. I think many people don't fully understand this. It is kind of like you are placing an order in the early days of feeding for a pizza you want delivered at 3 months. If you are not laying a good foundation for milk supply, when your pizza is delivered at 3 months, it may be missing a couple slices. VERY often when I see an outpatient who is struggling with supply in a child older than 3 months, and she tells me her history, I am painfully aware that her pizza order was not good enough. And sometimes, we just can't fix that damage." Quote from Beth Seidel, Pekin IL IBCLC*


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