# Poll: How long to ride in backseat w/baby?



## AuntNi (Feb 26, 2003)

My dd is 14 mos this week, and I still ride in the backseat with her when we go out as a family (even for trips across town.) I didn't intend to ride in the backseat for so long, but I just got in the habit. I'm starting to get tired of it, though.







:

She's still riding backwards in her convertible carseat, because the ped said to keep her backwards until her feet almost touch the backseat.

Just curious how others do it?

Thanks in advance!
Nichole
mom to Marlena born 4/15/02


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## Mallory (Jan 2, 2002)

Mine are 2 and 3 1/2 and I often sit back there









It is better when they turn around though. Will she look at a book by herself? Sometimes this is better if she can't see you.

It is much safer for her to sit backwards and she can ride backwards until she is too heavy for your seat rear facing or her shoulders are too high. It doesn't matter if her legs have to bend or cross to fit. I believe the thought is if you got in a terrible enough crash that her legs were broken that is much preferable to any neck or abdominal injury she may have gotten in that hard of a crash being throw forward agains the straps. But if your seat only goes to 22 pounds rear facing and she is more then that, it is possible that the seat back might snap off in a really hard crash, which could be terrible, so that is the most important measure.


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## Elphaba (Nov 19, 2001)

well, shosh is 20 months today, and just this weekend my husband rode in the back with her. she is rear-facing, and will be until she is either too heavy or too tall to ride that way, and i think that has a lot to do with it. it just feels wrong to leave her back there alone looking out the rear windshield. she rides alone most of the time, because it's just me and her right now. i got kind of pissed at my husband for sitting in the back though. i was like hello, i'm your wife, remember me? could i have a little company?







:


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## MinnieMouse (Nov 19, 2001)

I rode in the back with dd (now 22mo) until she was about 17 or 18mo old...I think. We slowly had me start riding up front, first on short trips...then on longer ones. She is rfing in my car (the one we use most) and ffing in dh's car.

I must add though that we are going to be taking a road trip soon that will be 8hrs each way and she will be rfing. I will be sitting in the back w/ her for that.

HTH

Christine


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## oceanbaby (Nov 19, 2001)

I rarely ever rode in the backseat, unless ds was particularly upset about something, but we were actually more likely to pull over and stop for awhile if that happened. And sometimes it was clear that he got more upset if I sat back there - like I was so close but he couldn't have me because he was strapped in. I definitely didn't sit in the back if we were trying to get him to sleep, because he would start reaching and crying for me.

I guess it depends on your baby and how they respond to being in the backseat alone. My ds was pretty much fine with it.


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## oncewerewise (Feb 14, 2003)

Well, I voted 0 - 3 months but it was closer to never. Being a single parent doesn't really afford you that luxury. However, for maybe the first 2 - 3 weeks when we *had* to go out, my mom would take me. After that, dd had to ride alone or we couldn't go anywhere.

Peace.


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## wwhippetcrazy (Mar 3, 2002)

I voted 12-18 months...I can't remember when it was exactly, but it was when we switched her to forward facing. Before that I always rode in the back with her....especially when younger so I could bf her if I needed too, as any car ride is atleast an hour.







:

Jen

p.s Just to clarify, I wouldn't get her out of the seat....it's amazing the positions you can get into when your trying to feed your babe


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## AuntNi (Feb 26, 2003)

Quote:

p.s Just to clarify, I wouldn't get her out of the seat....it's amazing the positions you can get into when your trying to feed your babe









I know exactly what you mean. I certainly bf while riding in the backseat with DD. However, it's pretty easy for me since I have humongous breasts! :LOL One of the *very* few advantages of being overly-well-endowed.

To answer my own question, I think I'll probably sit up front for good when we turn her to be front-facing.

Thanks so much for your responses!
Nichole


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## Lucky Charm (Nov 8, 2002)

G*d, I must be awful. Other that first trip home from the hospital, i never rode in the back.

Besides, my babies always slept in the car, and if they became particularly upset, i just pulled over. then again, i would have to, i cant drive from the back seat.


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## Elphaba (Nov 19, 2001)

lisa, you're not awful, just free from this particular neurosis! :LOL


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## Lucky Charm (Nov 8, 2002)

Thanks, Shoshie's mama!


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## Kundalini-Mama (Jul 15, 2002)

i have just started driving by myself in the last 2 months or so--Aidan is almost 16 months old. i've also stopped sitting w/him when hubby and i take him somewhere.

the #1 reason i sat back w/him, was that he is a car screamer. hates the car, ALWAYS has. rarely will fall asleep in the car unless i put a boob in his mouth, which is a pain, b/c w/tiny breasts, is very uncomfortable. so as soon as he would fuss in the car (which would soon turn to screaming and then immediately thereafter, throwing up







), i'd nurse him, and after 20 or so minutes, he would fall asleep. PITA i tell you. and we tried pulling over and taking him out, yadda yadda, and a 20 min trip turned into a 90 min trip. as soon as we put him back in the seat, no matter how long he'd been out, he'd start screaming. (and if he'd already nursed while we stopped, he didn't want it in the seat and we were doubly screwed!)

well, since i started driving, he's been doing better by himself. and now when i sit back there w/him, he is worse than ever. so, we start the trip w/me in front (otherwise it is a lost cause) and he cries in the back. i hate it. it totally feels like CIO, even though i know he relaxes quicker and falls asleep quicker (we try to take big trips around his nap time), and he is less upset when i'm not back there. we put on raffi or techno (his choice, not ours







) and point out the trucks.

hopefully when #2 comes around, Aidan will be able to entertain a #2 better and i won't have to sit back there. this is definately one of those things that i will do different w/#2









hth
amy


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## Melaniee (Apr 15, 2002)

One of us rode in the back until Ds was 12 months (and well over 20 lbs.) and faced forward, except for short errands while alone. I couldn't do long-drives alone b/c he'd get bored after a while if he didn't fall asleep.


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## malamamama (May 13, 2003)

First off, we didn't spend a lot of time in a car for the first year. I only rode with her for the first three months. We turned her carseat around at 12 months. I always felt that this was healthy for her because she was learning to like being with her own thoughts. When I did sit with her, I would talk about what we were seeing and all. I was with her 24/7 out of the car, so it never felt wrong to let her just be with herself to explore the light and sounds with us 2 ft away. Turning her around at 20 lbs. really was great cuz we could interact more. Now at almost 3 we sometimes sit with her for a treat. But she has always done better without me right next to her, wanting to bf or just be out.


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## sleepies (Nov 30, 2001)

i would never have at all, except from birth-20 pounds he would cry when id face him to the back. so, i tried several times to sit in back with him thinking it would help. it didn't.

i think it is best to get them use to sitting alone in the back. as that is going to be the way of things in the future.

also, i wanted him to sit alone , because i drive alone with him 75% of the time and can't sit back there.

he never did like facing the rear. dont know exactly why.

ps . having a child that cries in the back is so sad! alex was that way for so long. it was so awful to go anywhere, as it did make me feel like CIO and did make me feel so awful. not to mention how dangerous it was for him to be screaming so loud i could't hear anything.

i turned him to face front at 20 lbs and he never cried after that. IT was a long 20 lbs. adn no way i could have made a year AND 20 pounds, but we did get a car seat that said it was OK to be 20 pounds and less..also got dr permission.

im glad that nightmare is over!


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## Curious (Jan 4, 2002)

Good question. I've NEVER seen anyone else in the back with the baby until just tonight. I though I was the only one.

Dd cried a lot in the car and I'd sit in the back and nurse, aside from providing other entertainment. I vowed I'd sit in the back until she was 18, before I'd buy some annoying fisherprice noisemaker that would drive us adults insane. I did that until we were in a minor car accident while Dd was latched on. Everyone was fine, except for me, because my sternum hit the rigid carseat (Dd faces back). I could barely lift her for days and was sore for weeks.

With it being winter, and hard enough to contort to nurse without all that pain, I decided to car-wean Dd. This meant I had to spend increasing amounts of time in the front, because if I was in the back, Dd would ask to nurse.

I extended my time in the front from a few blocks, longer and longer, so that now I am only in the back for a period of time if we are on a drive of several hours. We keep special toys for the car.

Right now I still find it handy, if we have to leave for somewhere early in the morning. I can feed Dd in the car and not have to worry about breakfast before we go. But it's nice to sit with Dh again too.

She was probably something over 18 months when I started moving to the front.


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## Alisha (Apr 1, 2003)

I hardly ever sat in the back with the baby because my husband informed me that he wasn't my driver!

He hated it when I sat back there! My son really didn't have a problem in the car though! Lucky us!


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## teachma (Dec 20, 2002)

I intended to sit in back w/ him before ds was born, but I guess I had momentarily forgotten about how carsick I get in the back seat! I voted never, but in reality, I did it a few queasy times before I gave up completely. Now, he is nearing 3 years old, and we call the back seats "the grandma seats" beacuse whenever the grandparents are visiting, they love to keep him company in the back. It's a big treat for him!


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## CortLong (Jun 4, 2003)

I only "regularly" rode in the backseat with her for about 2 months....but I still occasionally do it now!


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## Oklahoma Mama (Feb 12, 2003)

I had a baby who hated the carseat and wouldn't go to sleep there until he was about 5 months old. I ended up sitting in the back seat until I turned the seat around at almost 14 months. I had more room in the back seat and my son did well with me there. We even travelled across the country that way! It took him a few trips to get used to the new set-up, but he is a pro now


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## dandelions2 (Feb 18, 2003)

I quit riding in the back on my dd's first b-day cause that was the day we turned her seat around. She was such a big baby that her feet touched the back of the seat when she was around 8 or 9 months. She passed the weight (20 pounds) at three months. So the day she turned round she was forward facing and I was in the front seat again. Yay! Had she needed to seat rear facing longer though, I would've sat there till she could go forward.


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## AmyG (Jan 30, 2002)

I sat with DS in the backseat every time I could for the first 2 months or so. Then I sat in the front one day because I wanted some time with DH, and we figured out that he liked it better by himself. When I'm back there, he can't figure out why I'm not holding him. When he's alone, he does something to entertain himself. He's 5 months old and basically just looks at his hands, but he seems to really enjoy it. Maybe I'm so AP that he's anxious to have some time to himself.







But now I just sit back there occassionally when we're on a long trip (like driving from SC to Michigan). If we stop and I can tell that he's not going to go to sleep in his seat and that he's a little fussy, I'll sit back there and entertain him. If he looks sleepy or happy, I sit in front for the next segment of the drive.


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## Mamma2Addison (Jul 3, 2002)

Well, I voted "Never" although that's not quite accurate. DH works so much that I'm often the one who's driving anywhere with ds. But, one of us always sits with him in the back if he's upset although that doesn't happen too often.

We just turned his carseat forward facing since he hit the weight limit, and that seems to make him happier, though. And it's easier for one of us to turn around and tend to him.


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## Nikki Christina (Mar 27, 2003)

um.. dunno what to vote

with my son I rode with him sometimes.. up untill he turned around front at 15 months

with DD.. never did.. 2 carseats back there & no room.. plus my son is usually there for company


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## Elphaba (Nov 19, 2001)

i'm so excited, we just turned her seat around (21 months old) and now my husband and i sit together like a regular couple! it's so nice to be able to see her face from the front seat. it's much easier to hand her things now.
sigh of relief.


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## mama2mygirls (Feb 16, 2003)

i sat with each of the girls till they were about 2 months old.
didn't do it too much, i'm not one to go out a bunch with a newborn up to 3 months.
i usually only take them for checkup etc. otherwise we were at home


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## artgirl (May 17, 2002)

I didn't vote because I only ride in the back with dd when we go on really long car trips. My mom lives 7 hours away. We break the trip up into two days but even 4 hours is a long time to have a baby alone in the back seat stuck in a car seat. We play and read books etc. On normal errands or trips to the other grandmas she rides in back by herself and is fine looking out the window or singing to herself.


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## LunaMom (Aug 8, 2002)

I never really rode back there with dd. maybe I did in the very beginning, but I got so little sleep back then that my memory is totally wiped out!







Plus she was born during a very icy winter so we stayed home most of the time during the first few months.

I should point out that I get carsick from riding for too long in the back of the car, too.


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

I rode with Tracy till he was about 10 months old. Then one day I stopped and he suddenly had NO problem being there alone!

I ride back with him now if needs to eat. He is forward facing but bfing him in the carseat is still possible









He could still be back facing...he is barely 20 opunds and not even 30 inches tall but it might be the carseat but his legs were all squished up on the backseat and that was what was making him so mad in the car....now we have no probems!


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