# What time does your 13 yr old go to bed?



## K&JsMaMa (May 26, 2002)

We (13 yr old, dh and I) decided that 9:30pm was a reasonable time for him to go to bed.

He fights me EVERY....SINGLE.....NIGHT!!! I'm so sick of it. This is the time HE decided on for God's sake!

Now he's saying he wants 9:45pm since he's "older"!

So, I'm curious what time your 13 yr old goes to bed? And does he/she fight you on it nightly?


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## JustOneMore (May 29, 2007)

My 'almost' 13 year old goes to bed at 8:30PM. She doesnt fight me, its just always been that way. I think deep down, she knows that her body needs that much sleep and she's cool with it.

We've always had them on a pretty regular schedule with dinner, baths and winddown time. Our younger boys go to bed between 7:30 and 8 so that gives her some winddown time without them under her feet and she understands that after 8:30pm is 'mom and dad' time.


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## UnschoolnMa (Jun 14, 2004)

My kids don't have a bedtime. We talk a lot about sleep needs, and etc.

My Dd is 14 and she goes to bed around midnight usually...give or take. My son is going on 17 and he stays up much later. Later than me usually even.

I think 8:30 or 9 is pretty early for a teen. I think it's pretty wise to consider their POV on this. It feels good to be taken seriously.


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## hellyaellen (Nov 8, 2005)

i don't have a 13 year old but my 8 yr old is usually up until 10 or so. (of course i work nights so i let her stay up later trhan is really optimal just so we can have some together time)

when i was a 13yr old i went to bed around 10 or 11 i guess except on saturadys. then i had to stay up until 3am watching headbangers ball.

some people are wired to stay up late. i'd try a later bedtime in your case. at least see how it goes.


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## moms angels (Oct 15, 2004)

Our 14 year old goes to sleep at 9, sometimes 9:30 - 10 if she had a lot of homework & needs some wind down time or there's a special show on we've been waiting to watch together. Weekends it's 11 unless she's having a sleepover, then it's usually around 1am. She's pretty smart at sensing when she should head off to bed.


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## ziggy (Feb 8, 2007)

I never had a bed time growing up, but I'd usually head to bed around 10 or so, and I'd shoe the younger ones (5 and 6.5 years younger than me) off to bed around 8 or whenever they got cranky. I still head to bed between 10 and 12 and I think my little brother still keeps his bed time that I arbitrarily set for him when he was in 7th grade. He's a high school sophomore now and if I call after 9 he's grumpy.


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## slymamato3 (Jan 16, 2008)

My 14y/o DD goes up to her room to read at around 7:30ish. She probably reads for an hour or so. She has to be up at 5 to be ready for the bus @ 6:30.
She knows how much sleep she needs to function so she decides what works for her.


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## mmace (Feb 12, 2002)

Mine is 14 - she heads up to bed around 9:00 every night, then reads until 9:30 or so usually. She is up at 6:00 on school mornings.

We are all sleepers in this house though - my almost 10 year old is in bed at 7:30 and up at 6:20, my almost 5 year old is in bed at 7:00 and up at 7:00, and I usually try to turn my light out around 10:00 and my alarm goes off at 5:45.


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## kblackstone444 (Jun 17, 2007)

My son (age 12) goes to bed at ten, but he often doesn't actually fall asleep until 11 or 11:30. He just needs that time to wind down. My little girl (age 7), goes to bed between 8:30 and 9. The go to bed later if they're not tired, on nights when there's no school the next day.


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## kennedy444 (Aug 2, 2002)

My 13, almost 14 yo dd goes to bed between 10 and 11pm, usually much later on Friday and Saturday nights. I just think teen body clocks are changing and they just aren't tired until then. Of course, they like to sleep so much later and for those going to school, that just isn't possible. On Saturdays my dd sleeps in until 11am or Noon.

On school nights my 11 yo ds goes to bed between 9-10pm, depending when he feels tired. Some nights he reads for awhile.

They both get up at 6:30am-6:45am to get ready for school.

When they were younger we had a good bedtime routine and I think they just really are tuned into when they feel tired and want to go to bed.

The three yo is another whole story.....


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## K&JsMaMa (May 26, 2002)

Thank you all so much for your replies.

It looks like I'm being a bit too controlling with him. I'll talk to DH and see if we can loosen things up a bit.

Thanks again.


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

My 13yo doesn't have a bedtime. She's plenty mature enough to know what time she needs to get to bed at night to wake up well rested the next morning- or to deal with the consequences (being tired all day) if she gets to bed too late. She generally goes to bed between 10:00 and 11:00 PM.

I think I stopped having formal bedtimes for my girls when they were around 9 or 10 or so? Whenever they were mature enough to handle getting up in the mornings without my insisting on a specific bedtime the night before.

My 6yo isn't mature enough to handle that. He gets overtired and doesnt' realize he's sleepy, and if he gets too bed to late he's a monster in the mornings. But he's only 6 and a Mommy-enforced bedtime is appropriate for him. I can't imagine micro-managing a teenager in the same way.


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## Emzachsmama (Apr 30, 2004)

My 13 yr dd's bedtime is 9:30 on school nights and no set bedtime on non-school nights. But even on non-school nights she has to be in her room at 11:00. She doesn't have to go to sleep, she can watch a movie or read a book or something, but after 11 is mom and dad time - otherwise we'd never get much time to ourselves.


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## Alkenny (May 4, 2004)

I have a 12 1/2 year old and an almost 15 year old and they both go to bed around 9'ish during the week, with no bedtime on the weekends. Sometimes they go to bed before that, sometimes they stay up all night.


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## mykdsmomy (Oct 10, 2004)

DD13 has no bedtime.....she goes to sleep when she's ready. We homeschool so she doesnt have to get up at a specific time. She's not a morning person (like her mama







)


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## SJane01 (Feb 24, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *K&JsMaMa* 
We (13 yr old, dh and I) decided that 9:30pm was a reasonable time for him to go to bed.

He fights me EVERY....SINGLE.....NIGHT!!! I'm so sick of it. This is the time HE decided on for God's sake!

Now he's saying he wants 9:45pm since he's "older"!

So, I'm curious what time your 13 yr old goes to bed? And does he/she fight you on it nightly?

our 14yo DS went to bed at 9:30 for the two weeks before school started and first two week of school the past 3 years (since he was 11). Its 10pm after the first two weeks of school.

The past 2 years, we have allowed him to go to sleep whenever he wants, as long as he's undressed, showered (he still takes baths) and *IN BED* by 10.

He's allowed to have his laptop with him in bed until 11, but we dont enforce this because we are generally in bed by 11. the rules are if he wants to read or such past 11, he can but no tv or electronics past 11.

If we have problems getting him up in the morning we take away the late night privs. He goes to bed at 10 and its lights out & laptop off at 10 for 2 weeks. We've not had a problem with this in a long time, however.


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## BedHead (Mar 8, 2007)

10:30 pm was her 'bedtime' last year when she was 13 (still is). I use the term loosely because that's usually when she starts getting ready for bed and she doesn't actually GET to bed for another 30-60 minutes. She still never goes to sleep before 11:30, no matter what time she goes to bed. But if she's tired she's been known to just go to bed on her own by 9 pm.

No set bedtime on weekends. She sleeps for about 10 hours a night left to her own devices.


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## sagewinna (Nov 19, 2001)

My 14 year old DS goes to bed at 9:15 and is out like a light by 9:30. He is naturally an early riser, and he gets migraines if he doesn't get enough sleep.


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## Pancakes (Jan 22, 2008)

Our kids have to go to bed at 8:30. They are allowed to stay up as late as they want so long as they are doing something quiet in their room. DS immediately goes to sleep, but DD is up till midnight reading.

My only condition for them being in charge of their own bed time...is that I am in charge of what time they wake up. Several days of 6am wake ups, gets the kids to appreciate an earlier bedtime


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## canadianchick (May 18, 2005)

My almost 12 yr old goes to bed at 10ish and sometimes gives me a hard time but truthfully, I think it is just for the sake of giving me a hard time. We stay up late on the weekends and last weekend did not go to bed one night until after 1 am.


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## mommaof3boz (Feb 15, 2006)

We are homeschoolers so...I have no idea when he goes to bed. My dh and I work opposite shifts so that someone is here with them 24/7 and work with them on school. However, since dh works 3-11 and I work 7-4 they can go to bed as late as they want and get up as late as they want. I go to bed at 10 with 7 yr old lol.


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## Ms. Mom (Nov 18, 2001)

My 13 yo ds and my 10 yo dd get ready for bed around 7:30. We usually read for 20 min. and chat a bit, but all electronics are off after 7:30. They head up to bed between 8:00 - 9:00 depending on how the night goes and how they're feeling. Ds does not fall asleep well, so he may be up half the night reading or playing guitar - as long as it's a quiet activity. If his sleep is really bad, he may crawl into bed with me after 1:00 am. Dd usually falls asleep as soon as her head hits the pillow, but she'll occasionally wake and end up in my bed too.


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## TattooedMommy (Aug 11, 2006)

When my oldest was 13 she went to bed at 9pm on school nights/ at her own discretion on nonschool nights.


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## allgirls (Apr 16, 2004)

My 13 year old is generally in her room at 9pm. She can stay awake as long as she wants but the lights have to be off and the tv/music off at 9;30 because usually her sisters are in bed and they will wake up with any noise at all. So she has to be very very quiet.

she is usually in bed at 9:30 asleep. She is already talking about her earlier bed time when she goes to highschool next year and has to get up earlier.

I have spent a lot of talking with her and she agrees it's silly to stay awake just because she's older if she knows she is tired the next day. We all go to bed fairly early except for tonight. My 4 year old had a nap and is still away at 11pm.


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## Jenlaana (Oct 28, 2005)

My son would (and has) been up until the sun rises, when he has had his choice. We just bumped his bedtime from 9 to 10 (he's 13) during the week, and no bedtimes on Fri/Sat nights. The only agreement is that he goes into his room at 9ish. He has his books, video games, tv and toys in there though so its not like a "bedtime" but just a time for him to cool down and start to slow down, and for his stepdad and I to get some downtime as well. We kind of all retreat to our ends of the house once our 2 yr old goes to bed at 8:30pm.

I don't care so much about actual bedtimes as I do my son getting enough sleep (hence the weeknight only bedtimes), and my getting some kidfree time in order to relax before I pass out as well.


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## love2all (Dec 13, 2003)

All of my kids, ages 12, 9, alomost 4, go to bed between 8 and 9- lights out by 9- go up earlier if you want to read.
On the weekends- 10-11- but they rarely make it this late.....


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

My 14 and 15 yr olds go to bed early, before 10, usually by 9, unless American Idol is pushed up an hour.









This is their natural pattern. Even on weekends. One is hs'd, one goes to school.


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## Canadianmommax3 (Mar 6, 2006)

my son will be 13 in a month, he usually goes around 10:00-10:30,
he gets up on time in the morning so i see no problem when he goes to bed.

My parents use to set an early bedtime for me and i would lay there for hours, or sneak and read! Hated it!


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## mommy68 (Mar 13, 2006)

My 13 yr old goes to bed anywhere from 8:30-9:30 pm. He goes in his room when the rest of us go to bed and he watches t.v. or reads and goes to sleep when he's ready usually.







We have only one rule and that is that he has to be quiet. He also has to wake up between 6am-6:30am in the morning. He is homeschooled.


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## Kenziesmom (Mar 10, 2005)

13 yo dd goes to bed at 9:00 on school nights, weekends she goes to bed whenever.


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## mama_ani (Aug 2, 2007)

Our house rule is "in your room by 9:00pm, asleep when you are ready."

Oldest (13 in August) usually goes to sleep around 11pm.


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## kay4 (Nov 30, 2004)

My 13 is in her room by 9 and then can read or whatever till about 9:30 or so. She has to get up about 6:30 in order to get ready for school


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## SJane01 (Feb 24, 2006)

I dont mean to offend anyone, but its very shocking to learn that these tweens / early teens are actually getting ready for bed and going with it at 7:30 or such.


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## Mama Dragon (Dec 5, 2005)

Midnight-1am...doing so has taught her to go to bed when she's tired, ie, when she's up earlier in the morning, she puts herself to bed at 10pm.


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## nd_deadhead (Sep 22, 2005)

Bed time is completely irrelevant unless one includes wake up time. The thing we have always stressed in our house is whether or not you are getting enough sleep.

Our twin boys (13, in 8th grade) go to bed around 10, though if one of them is tired, he will go to bed earlier. They have to get up around 6:30 on Wednesdays, for chamber orchestra at 7:15; Monday and Friday they have to get up at 7, for orchestra at 7:45. Tuesdays and Thursdays they don't have to be at school until 8:30, but they get up at about the same time on those days. I think it's very important to keep a pretty consistent schedule all week.

My sons usually stay up a little later on weekends, but not a lot, and they don't usually sleep too late on weekend mornings.

At one point they argued about 10 bed time, and I explained that if they consistently got up before the alarm, that would show that they were getting enough sleep, and could stay up later. Since they usually need to be awakened in the morning, they understand that they need all the sleep they're getting.

They stay up later - and sleep later - in the summer, when they don't have a schedule.


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## Danielle1973 (Nov 11, 2007)

My 13 yo goes to bed at 10 pm, there are days when she decides to go to bed much earlier and days she fights me tooth and nail on it


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## xixstar (Aug 15, 2007)

almost 13 here and it's 8:30pm for bed. From age 10 or so, it was 9:00pm for bed, but middle school starts early and we found that she was not waking up early enough for her 7am bus with the 9pm time, so it got upped.

Don't get any flack about it, but she never remembers herself and I get tired of reminding her. Having her manage it herself would be nice, but if I make sure she goes to be on time, she makes sure she gets up (I'd rather not have to be responsible for that, especially being tired and pregnant right now).


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## EStraiton (Sep 6, 2005)

My 14 year old goes to bed at 9 pm on school nights - weekends usually 10ish unless she goes to a sleepover or event.


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## Jennyfur (Jan 30, 2007)

Our boy/girl twins (13 and in 8th grade) have a weeknight bedtime of 9:30 p.m. However, there are some nights when homework takes hours, and sometimes lights don't go out until closer to 10:00.

On the weekend, we like them to be in bed around 11:00. However, if they're in the middle of a movie, we're not going to push it. If they're having a sleepover, we don't really set a bedtime, but around 1:00 or so we'll ask them to get ready to settle down.


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## doctorjen (May 29, 2003)

I don't enforce a bedtime for my 13 yr old anymore. She has to be up by about 6:45 to make the bus most mornings, and the deal is as long as she gets herself up, she can decide her own bedtime. She's nearly always in bed by 10, sometimes earlier if she's tired. On weekends she stays up if she has no where to be in the morning (in the winter she swims on swim team and quite a few Saturdays involve a 5 am trip to a pool somewhere.) I have not had to wake her up once this school year - she sets her alarm and is up and dressed of her own accord every day. She does like to stay up late and sleep late when she has the opportunity, and she has the opportunity rarely enough that we don't bug her if she gets to stay up to 2 am playing Rock Band with her brother home from college and then needs to sleep until noon. She's my second child and so far I'm shooting for them all to be doing their own bedtime by middle school. My next child is 10 and going to middle school this fall. We are still encouraging him to go to bed at night (by 9-9:30) but he can read in bed. I still wake him in the morning, too, since I drive him to school. He is looking forward to getting himself up this fall.


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