# Hardest/easiest ages to parent



## Solose (May 10, 2008)

When my son was born, I though having a baby was so hard because he wanted to be carried and held 24/7 and i just couldn't wait until he would finally start crawling and entertaining himself so he wouldn't constantly have eto be in-arms. But now that he is on the verge of toddlerhood I am sooo missing those wonderful times when I could just sit and watch tv while he napped in my arms. Or go out at any time of the day or late at night with him and not worry that his nap schedule will be messed up and he will be up past midnight and then I will have to spend the following week getting him back on track. Or put him in a sling and sit at the computer. I think up until about 6 mo. it was getting easier and easier, and i was thinking geez, I should have five more, I'm so good at this. Then the crawling stage hit and ever since then I have wanted to tear my hair out.

I have heard many people say the baby stage is the easiest, and I thought they had to be kidding because it couldn't possibly get harder than having a newborn, but I am finding out it does! I'm just curious to get everyone else's opinion on this. Which stage of raising kids do you think is the hardest? the easiest? Maybe I can gather some hope from this that it will get easier, because so far things are just getting harder and harder with my sweet little monster.


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## lightheart (Jul 2, 2005)

The hardest stage is the stage your child is in at the moment.

The easiest is the stage they were in yesterday... or tommorrow!

Seriously, I think it really depends on the parent. Right now, age 4 and 6 years for our boys I find many days trying. My hubby so loves this stage, them pushing their freedom and ability. When they were smaller he was all thumbs for lack of better words whereas I just loved every moment. Same kids, different adults!


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## Mimi (Oct 8, 2008)

i remember thinking that! now that i have a very active toddler & a newborn, the newborn is definitely much easier, but i so enjoy my toddler, it is fantastic to see that she learns every day, you can really SEE her growing & learning & turning into the person she wants to be, it's fascinating, even though I think that 2 to 3 years is the hardest part , because they can't really talk, and get frustrated so easily.


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## jillmamma (Apr 11, 2005)

For me, age three is a tough age. Both of mine are/were potty learning then, still working on acquiring and using language to express emotions, testing their boundaries big time, and asserting their independence. Whereas at age two the mantra is "MINE!", at three it is "NO!!!!" and "ME do it!" Five is pretty cool as he can do a lot on his own and is getting so curious and imaginative. Can't say yet beyond that as mine are not there yet.


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## hollytheteacher (Mar 10, 2007)

my ds is 14 months and i am LOVING this age. Of course it can be trying, but like a pp said you can really SEE the learning/growth etc so much more. I think it's because you can see the pride on their faces as they learn something new! I am also not having to do as much of the running around getting him out of stuff thing as i did when he was first crawling (at 6 mo) and walking (12 mo). Now he isn't quite as dangerous (crawling on tables and stuff like that) as he was a few months ago.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

Hardest stage is 0 to 3 months IMO. And it gets less hard, slowly, through the first year. The easiest so far is 6, and that's where we are. I think the older, the easier.


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## DevaMajka (Jul 4, 2005)

The newborn stage was difficult for me with ds. He was a high needs baby, and wanted to be held constantly (he was in arms at least 22 hours a day). It got a little easier once he was able to walk (he still wanted held a lot).

After that, it was all good until he hit about 2.5. Those few months sucked big time. (But I changed my discipline style a little, and it got much better).

Then it was pretty easy after that up to now. He's 4. He still does things that drive me crazy (whining, and stomping when he's mad), but all in all, I think I have it easy


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## frontierpsych (Jun 11, 2006)

No experience yet, but I'm sad to say I really fear the toddler age, between when they become mobile and verbal! Maybe it's just that I can't understand other people's kids because I don't know them that well, but I have a hard time with kids that age.

Both my mother and my grandma were notorious for being great with little kids and not so great with teenagers, and I'm trying not to go down that road. I want to be able to enjoy my DS's teen years.

FWIW, he's 2 months old now, and it hasn't been too difficult. I'm actually hoping it can stay this easy forever!


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## [email protected] (Jul 11, 2007)

Personally I loved the baby stage, maybe 0 - 2 years or so and that was the easiest. Things started going downhill from there with 5 years old being the hardest. Now that my oldest is 8, things are getting better with her and I am looking forward to the day when my almost 6 year old becomes more reasonable. I have no idea what is in store with the teen years!!!


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## primjillie (May 4, 2004)

My kids are grown and it doesn't get easier! lol I think teenagers were the toughest. Babies were easy for me. Lots of love, food, clean clothes, playing, sleeping, etc. Didn't take too much to figure out their needs. Teens take a lot of tough love - I am not the type of parent who lets them do whatever they want. They were all in lots of activities, ate me out of house of home, loved to have friends over and went through the typical experimental drinking, staying out too late, etc. I was very relieved when they all graduated from high school in one piece with no major problems. They are all stable, functioning, sober adults and I breathe a sigh of relief and contentment every time I look at them! I do miss the baby stage and plan on enjoying every minute of my grandbabies.


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lightheart* 
The hardest stage is the stage your child is in at the moment.

The easiest is the stage they were in yesterday... or tommorrow!











wow such wise words mama. such wise words!!!!

seriously i was coming here to say that i really havent found one age harder. i look back and it doesnt look hard. but i do remember while going thru the day finding it hard. my dd is 6 and its still hard. and yet not. really.

it is definitely challenging and i enjoy every minute of it - hard or easy. even when i am angry or sad or happy. i love every minute of it.

so honestly i havent really found anything getting easier or more difficult.

but like others pointed out it also depends on the mom's personality.

i discovered i was much more intuitive with a baby and even toddler. but after that i had to educate myself to learn how to parent. i have a tough child too - colicky as a baby, high needs, spirited, needs less sleep, high energy, emotional, sensitive. while it makes it harder, it also brings more deeper joy.

so i would say since i enjoy it so much i really dont find it hard.

now going through a marriage breaking down and pregnant - now that was hard. really, really hard.

compared to that parenting was amazing.


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## pixilixi (Jun 20, 2006)

Well, ds is only 2 1/2, so I don't have childhood/teenage years to compare to, but the age he is now is the easiest so far. When he was 2, that was easier than before..... so far, it has just been easier the older he is.

I think it is to do with my personality, as well as ds. Ds was colicky, then a frustrated baby. Things were hell for me until he started to walk - then it eased up, because ds was happier. I have a fair bit of patience for toddler tantrums, but I HATED the noise of baby crying and it really got on my nerves to have a fussy infant crawling into my personal space every minute because he wanted help with xyz until he could do it himself.

Now, he wants to do everything himself, but at least he can just go get his stool and reach it, or at least he can articulate that he needs my help to do something.


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## LuxPerpetua (Dec 17, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pixilixi* 
Well, ds is only 2 1/2, so I don't have childhood/teenage years to compare to, but the age he is now is the easiest so far. When he was 2, that was easier than before..... so far, it has just been easier the older he is.

I think it is to do with my personality, as well as ds. Ds was colicky, then a frustrated baby. Things were hell for me until he started to walk - then it eased up, because ds was happier. I have a fair bit of patience for toddler tantrums, but I HATED the noise of baby crying and it really got on my nerves to have a fussy infant crawling into my personal space every minute because he wanted help with xyz until he could do it himself.

Now, he wants to do everything himself, but at least he can just go get his stool and reach it, or at least he can articulate that he needs my help to do something.

This is us exactly, except we have a daughter. The older, the easier so far. I hated, hated, hated the newborn phase, but I also had a colicky babe who cried all the live-long day and night and would not sleep. She's now nearly 3 and even with a few bumps here and there it's sooooo much better.


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## starlein26 (Apr 28, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *meemee* 
...i really havent found one age harder. i look back and it doesnt look hard. but i do remember while going thru the day finding it hard...

...so honestly i havent really found anything getting easier or more difficult.

...but like others pointed out it also depends on the mom's personality.

I agree with you...


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## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

gosh, I think it just keeps getting harder









newborn is a breeze, for me anyways. Once they are mobile it gets a little trickier but so much fun!

I love toddlerhood, oh until about 20 months then the "terribe two's" (awful phrase, but true IME) hits.

3 is even harder than 2 (sorry







) and then after that it's easier in some ways, yet harder in other's.

I think it's all relative to your child's personality as well as the parents. SO many people claim the newborn period was super hard and taxing on their relationship/sleep/etc so maybe I just got lucky and had easy babies... cause I loved every minute of it.


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## becoming (Apr 11, 2003)

My LO has gotten drastically easier over the past 2 months or so. He's 15 months. What I find easier about him now is that (a) he can play with his siblings now without my constant supervision and without me worrying that he'll be injured, (b) he can walk! (i.e., I don't have to worry about how to carry him outside to the car along with 50 million other things I'm trying to carry), (c) we can pretty much reason with him now ("oooh, that's yucky, you don't want to eat that!" and he'll put it down, etc.). I think after a year it's smooth sailing until about 2.5, at least in my experience with my three little ones.


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## Embee (May 3, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lightheart* 
The hardest stage is the stage your child is in at the moment.

The easiest is the stage they were in yesterday... or tommorrow!

Yes this! I'm trying very hard to access in my brain anytime where I haven't felt this to be true and darnit, I got nothin. Sorry, OP.









Like me, DS does great some days and not so great others. We've had a few phases that have been more persistently troublesome sure and other times when things have run smoothly for a bit but in any stage, there are days when I don't cope well for whatever the reason. When yesterday DS dealt well with a particular situation and today things fell apart in the same situation... the inner questions, the hair pulling kicks in. Parenting is nothing if not moment to moment.

I think those early days are very hard for most. It's such a new and awesome experience. Accepting the reality of someone needing you that much. Funny, in reading your post however I was thinking how lovely it was when DS started crawling and moving about. How wonderful for him to see the world in this way for the first time, so many frustrations abated and many special memories I'm sure but at the time I was probably pulling my hair out more often than I can now remember.









Given this truth, the best advice I've ever received (thank you Naomi Aldort), is not to resist the in the moment reality no matter if it's good, bad or ugly. When things go wrong and I'm wishing for yesterday, wishing DS was behaving differently, or pining away for how easy certain things used to be, it causes me much suffering. When I accept life as it is RIGHT NOW, I can more easily adapt to the current reality. This creates an instant relaxation my part, helps me develop some "in the moment" perspective. When I can say something like, "I'll laugh about this in two weeks" I give myself permission to go ahead and see it lightly RIGHT NOW. It's amazing how all of a sudden, solutions to the current issue become much more apparent and more importantly, more accessible. Of course, I'm only successful at this a portion of the time. The rest I spend banging my head against the wall wishing for days when things were easier.









When I look back wistfully, long for easier days, I have to consciously remind myself that every age/stage has it's easy moments and it's challenges, that no one place in time was easier than another, just different. Anymore, I challenge myself to appreciate the tougher moments as well as the easy ones for it's the former that tends to make the best, (and most humorous) long-range dinner conversation! Not to mention, it's usually those times when we grow, or force ourselves to grow if you will.









If I had to choose a time though, the one I'd pick would be when DS was first walking, 12 to 18 months or so. It was definitely a "sweet spot" and one I look to wistfully a lot. This was definitely a time before DS became more "colorful" and easier to "manage" emotionally speaking. He is very spirited which is both a blessing and a challenge. But if I'm being honest, I know there were hard days in there too. DS was never the stellar sleeper so if nothing else, that was an issue we were having that threaded through the lot of phases.

The best,
Em


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## musikat (Oct 30, 2002)

Whatever stage my oldest is in at the time!







Right now he is 6 3/4 and I am hoping 7 gets easier (I have been holding out this "hope" for the next age since he turned 2 1/2).

This is both because he IS the oldest, therefore I have never done this before and each stage is a surprise (shock?), and because he is my most challenging child.

I guess it is a blessing and a curse. He is constantly testing my patience, knowledge and sanity and I find it really hard a lot of the time. On the other hand, as my second and third children go through similar stages I find I am not caught off guard and generally handle it better.


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## fireant (Jan 10, 2006)

I'm loving 2.5 years!

And I HATED the baby stages. My DD was super-duper high needs as an infant but now that she has language she is hilarious.


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## becoming (Apr 11, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *musikat* 
Whatever stage my oldest is in at the time!







Right now he is 6 3/4 and I am hoping 7 gets easier (I have been holding out this "hope" for the next age since he turned 2 1/2).

OMG, me too! My "challenging one" just turned 7 this past Saturday, and so far he's been pretty much the same as when he was 6.







Darn it.


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## HomeBirthMommy (Mar 15, 2003)

3 was pretty tough with my older ones.

By far the most difficult is 8/9 (girl), which we are experiencing right now. Hormones are starting, but they're still emotionally and socially immature. Lots of homework (thought I guess not an issue with hs'ing







), getting an "attitude". Not a fun time for us.







I think the main reason is that it has shifted from "fun" parenting to difficult parenting for us. There's so much homework and added responsibility, that we have little time to just relax and have fun with her like we still can do with the younger ones.


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