# Kids left alone in cars....again



## Lucky Charm (Nov 8, 2002)

Many of you know me as Sweetbaby3. I have been around for a few years and debated whether to even start this thread. I mean, we have beat many a dead horse here and things arent going to change on this subject. But I just want to share my frustration.

I don't want a debate. Really. (Trust me if I did I would start one, those of you that know me know this is true!).
I do not want to mommy bash.
I do want to share this.

I was minding my own business walking into Target to get coffee and bread. I was alone texting (annoying, i know!) when I passed a car with the windows down and the most adorable little girl alone without a parent in sight. She looked about 3 or 4 yrs old. The car was parked in the back half of the lot. I stopped briefly and looked and when the child saw me she clammered toward the window closest to me. I thought to myself: "I could just reach in and take her and no one would know". I touched the hood of the car and it was cool (to me indicating it had been off for a bit).

I thought about calling the police but didn't. I waited by the front for a while and no one approached the car. I went inside and got my items, my time alone ruined.

I mean, I was worried about this kid, you know? I paced in the store considering my options. I immediately thought of my friends here at MDC! Yes, I thought of you guys! Then I got pissed. I thought why the F*** am I so worried about this kid when her parents so obviously aren't? Not that she isnt worth worrying about, thats not my point. I am just saying that my tits were in a knot about the risks here, and her parents weren't. We arent talking being at a gas station and paying inside 10 feet away. We arent talking about the dry cleaners either, ten feet away. We are talking Super Target at the back half of the lot.

I will never understand why with all the things we cant control when it comes to our kids why anyone would tempt fate.

Maybe I have been in the ER too long. All I can say I was a nervous wreck and ashamed I didnt look for the childs parents. I didnt do anything. And that makes me as bad as they are. _I left her alone. I failed to do something._In the hospital, we call it "Failure to Rescue".

*sigh*

Thanks for listening mamas.

Lisa
__________________


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## Collinsky (Jul 7, 2004)

I was wondering, in this type of situation, is it possible to have the owners of the vehicle paged? Like "Will the owner of the blue Taurus, license number XXXXXX, please come to the front of the store..." and then when they get there they can say, "It was reported that you left a small child alone in your vehicle, which is against the law." I'm sure the store doesn't want people breaking the law in the parking lot, right?

It IS against the law, right?


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## Lucky Charm (Nov 8, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Collinsky* 









I was wondering, in this type of situation, is it possible to have the owners of the vehicle paged? Like "Will the owner of the blue Taurus, license number XXXXXX, please come to the front of the store..." and then when they get there they can say, "It was reported that you left a small child alone in your vehicle, which is against the law." I'm sure the store doesn't want people breaking the law in the parking lot, right?

It IS against the law, right?

I should have taken the plate number down and talked with the store to see if such a page is possible. In fact, I will stop by tomorrow and ask.

As for the law, I am not sure if its against the law in Colorado. I can ask one of the police officers my next shift in the ER.

Thanks for the hug. I needed it!


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## 2cutiekitties (Dec 3, 2006)

it is against the law for kids to be left alone in the car, at least in some states like CA, I think under the age of 10 or 12 ??? , so I would have called the cops. That person needs a wakeup call.


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## Collinsky (Jul 7, 2004)

Calling the cops also occurred to me.


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## DahliaRW (Apr 16, 2005)

It's illegal here. I would call regardless, seriously, it's not safe.


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## 2lilsweetfoxes (Apr 11, 2005)

When I was in Korea--stationed there, I was exiting my office, which we happen to share the building with Housing and the Army Community Services and Transportation, I saw some kids in a vehicle. No adult in sight. Sometimes, the parents are not Americans and so maybe it is ok in their culture. While debating whether I should mind my own business, some Military Police happened to drive by, so I let them know and they went to check it out. I left and did not see what happened because my bus came then.


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## April411 (Dec 19, 2007)

wow...I can't imagine a parent leaving a child that young in the car by themselves. My dd is 3.5 years old and would FREAK if I tried to leave her in the car. I'm surprised the little girl was so calm. Honestly, it's hard to know what to do in those situations. I mean, it's not like she was in there with the windows up on a hot day so her life wasn't in imminent danger. But then again, she could have been kidnapped, or assaulted. If it was me I probably would have let someone at customer service know.


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## MommyJoia (Oct 31, 2007)

I pulled up to the curb at a local video store, left my car running, with the AC on, left my door open, ran up to the drop box, ran back to my seat and a woman yelled at me about leaving my kids alone in the car. I was literally less than a minute, I'd say less than 30 second and less than 5 feet away. I told her they were not alone, I was right there and drove off.

Living in S. FL where kids alone in the car can and often causes death, I would have waited for 10 minutes and then called the cops. That's me. I would have done the same for a dog as well. (not to go off subject)


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## soso-lynn (Dec 11, 2007)

I probably would have waited by the car for the parent or whoever to come back and would have let them know how dangerous that is. I tend to go for using diplomacy before calling the cops, plus I could never leave an unattended child out of sight, regardless whose kid it is.

I recently was at a fast food place on my lunch break and there was a woman with about 5 or 6 young children (maybe 2 to 8 yo) and they were all sitting at the table while the woman went to order the food. I was finished eating but I stayed where I was keeping an eye on those kids. Sure enough, some perv looking dude goes over and starts asking one of the youngest boys if he wants to share some ice cream and pinching his cheek. I immediately got up and asked him what the hell he was doing until the mom came back. The place was really crowded too. The manager then came and they called the cops. My point is that, regardless of the reason a child is unattended or out of sight from his parents, it is always worth loosing a few minutes to make sure everything ends up ok.


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

I think it would be a good idea to go to the customer service desk at the store and get a manager on it.


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## Cutie Patootie (Feb 29, 2004)

I'm sure lots of people will disagree with me, but I would have removed the child and brought her into the target to customer service along with the license plate # and went on with my business. Let them deal with it. If I decided to not to do that, I would have called the police right away. Poor kiddo. My 5 you ds would be scared to death. What are people thinking?


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## Jilian (Jun 16, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cutie Patootie* 
I'm sure lots of people will disagree with me, but I would have removed the child and brought her into the target to customer service along with the license plate # and went on with my business. Let them deal with it. If I decided to not to do that, I would have called the police right away. Poor kiddo. My 5 you ds would be scared to death. What are people thinking?









I wonder if you could get into trouble for kidnapping or something similar for doing that? But then again if the child is hot you *have* to get him/her out of the car.

I think the best thing to do is to call the police from your cell phone and stay right at the car to keep an eye on the child and talk to the child to make sure he/she is ok.


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## kriket (Nov 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cutie Patootie* 
I'm sure lots of people will disagree with me, but I would have removed the child and brought her into the target to customer service along with the license plate # and went on with my business. Let them deal with it.

Totally not starting anything because I agree completely and would have probably waited in my car and watched the midget because I couldn't leave them alone but I am afraid of confrontation.

but

is that kidnapping?

related story. My mom ducked down in the floorboard of the front seat changing my youngest sisters diaper when I was 8ish and the middle sister was 6. we were arguing (as usual) a lady reached in the window, opened the door and went to unbuckle my sister. I don't know why, we were young. She may have had bevenolent intentions thinking we were alone. She may have been trying to steal us.

Any ways, mom threw a diaperless sister into my lap and practically leaped through the car and tackled this lady.

So anything can happen, even when you are RIGHT THERE.

People dumb.


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## Aurora (May 1, 2002)

Last month I was out and parked next to a car with two little boys and a screaming baby girl. The little boys were trying so hard to calm the baby, No parent in sight. I went into the building and talked to the secretary and told her what was going on. She walked into an open office and told the mother and the mother looked at me and _rolled her eyes_! Then she said she would be out in a min. I went back out and sat in my car and waited until she actually got into her car.

I was so upset. I live in Utah. It was over 100 degrees that day and the windows were barely cracked.

I came home and told my Dh and he said I should have just called the police. He is a manager in a store and his whole store has been told to just call. They are not to page the parents or try to find them. They are to call the police first because chances are the parents will continue to do this until they are caught or something dreadful happens.


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## Serenyd (Jan 6, 2008)

You feel bad because you failed to do anything for this little girl. Hindsight is 20/20. You probably should have called the police, but I think you already know that. You're going to have to forgive yourself and move on. I shudder to think how this child's parents treat her in private if that are that neglectful in public. Of course it might have been a babysitter ... who knows ....but speculation isn't going to make any difference.


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## angelpie545 (Feb 23, 2005)

OP, I completely sympathize with you. I was in a similar situation some months ago when I was grocery shopping. I had got myself and the kids out of the car when I noticed that the vehicle next to me had two boys probably about five and six alone in it, no adult in sight, with the doors unlocked and the windows cracked a little bit. I paused, trying to think of what I should do...and then I went about my shopping. I should have done something right then, but I didn't want to over react, ext. I shopped for about 30 mins and when I came out, the boys were still there, alone. This time I asked them where their mother was and they told me inside the store. She had been shopping this entire time, leaving them alone, in the parking lot, on a muggy day (it wasn't that hot, but still, I couldn't imagine it would have been that comfortable inside the car). At that point, I decided I'd wait five more minutes, and if she didn't show, I'd call the police. She showed about a minute after that, on her cell phone. I let her know right away that I had noticed her boys and was about to call the police. I was probably less than nice to her (not a good idea with a total stranger, in hindsight I realize that) and she got really embarrassed and drove off. Looking back, I probably should have waited by the car for five minutes to begin with then called the police...but I didn't want to just jump the gun, ext. Now I think about it and those boys could have easily been kidnapped or much worse. My if I see a kid in the car, my protocol will be as above: I'll look around for an adult, wait a few minutes, and if no one shows, I'll call the police. You just can't play around with a child's safety when it comes to things like that.


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## Lucky Charm (Nov 8, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *phathui5* 
I think it would be a good idea to go to the customer service desk at the store and get a manager on it.

This is what I should have done and will do the next time I see this happening.

And my kids would have freaked too. No way would they be able to deal with being alone in a car.


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## AngelBee (Sep 8, 2004)




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## DoingDoing:Julie (May 8, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *soso-lynn* 
I probably would have waited by the car for the parent or whoever to come back and would have let them know how dangerous that is. I tend to go for using diplomacy before calling the cops, plus I could never leave an unattended child out of sight, regardless whose kid it is.

I recently was at a fast food place on my lunch break and there was a woman with about 5 or 6 young children (maybe 2 to 8 yo) and they were all sitting at the table while the woman went to order the food. I was finished eating but I stayed where I was keeping an eye on those kids. Sure enough, some perv looking dude goes over and starts asking one of the youngest boys if he wants to share some ice cream and pinching his cheek. I immediately got up and asked him what the hell he was doing until the mom came back. The place was really crowded too. The manager then came and they called the cops. My point is that, regardless of the reason a child is unattended or out of sight from his parents, it is always worth loosing a few minutes to make sure everything ends up ok.

GOOD FOR YOU!! You saved that little boy from sexual harrassment, BUT who knows what that man's plan was! maybe you saved the little boy from kidnap too! Weirdos are WEIRD because they do WEIRD things!!! And that guy was a weirdo!

I know this is SORT of off topic, but once I (20 years old) was waiting in the car for my husband, with the windows rolled down and I noticed that the couple in the car beside me (also windows rolled down) were starting to look at me . . . after a while I realized that they were VERY obviously talking about me as well. They looked really shady, and finally I felt so uncomfortable I rolled my windows up and locked the door. What would have happened if I was 3???


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## Sierra (Nov 19, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Aurora* 
Last month I was out and parked next to a car with two little boys and a screaming baby girl. The little boys were trying so hard to calm the baby, No parent in sight. I went into the building and talked to the secretary and told her what was going on. She walked into an open office and told the mother and the mother looked at me and _rolled her eyes_! Then she said she would be out in a min. I went back out and sat in my car and waited until she actually got into her car.

I was so upset. I live in Utah. It was over 100 degrees that day and the windows were barely cracked.

I am presuming the car was not running (recognizing that running cars present their own hazards), so there was no ac on.

This story makes me sick to my stomach in a very real way. Just thinking of that poor little screaming baby and the desperate little boys, let alone the heat. (And I say that being someone who has once or twice gotten a fussy/crying babe into a carseat, and then realized I forgot something in my house right by the door or something, and run back in for it as fast as I could rather than putting said fussy babe through the misery of getting in and out of the car seat for a dash back in and out of the house...I am not holier than thou at all.)


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## wetcement101 (Dec 2, 2007)

Thanks for this tread- if I notice this I'll be better prepared *when* I see it...

My friend waitressed at night and divorced her husband when she discovered that he regularly left the 1 yr & 3 yr olds alone in the car outside of his favorite bar. According to the ER nurses I work with, it happens all the time. Nurses don't have an off button, do you? (Thanks for all you do)


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## Smalls181 (May 12, 2006)

I get the feeling that the little girl was so calm because she was used to this sort of thing. Breaks my heart. My little girl freaks out when I go around the FRONT of the car to get her out, instead of the rear. I am out of her sight for 5 seconds and she tends to get scared...


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## Aurora (May 1, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sierra* 
I am presuming the car was not running (recognizing that running cars present their own hazards), so there was no ac on.

This story makes me sick to my stomach in a very real way. Just thinking of that poor little screaming baby and the desperate little boys, let alone the heat. (And I say that being someone who has once or twice gotten a fussy/crying babe into a carseat, and then realized I forgot something in my house right by the door or something, and run back in for it as fast as I could rather than putting said fussy babe through the misery of getting in and out of the car seat for a dash back in and out of the house...I am not holier than thou at all.)

Yes, it was not running, no ac. I am still sick about this and it has been a month.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Smalls181* 
I get the feeling that the little girl was so calm because she was used to this sort of thing. Breaks my heart. My little girl freaks out when I go around the FRONT of the car to get her out, instead of the rear. I am out of her sight for 5 seconds and she tends to get scared...


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## 77589 (Mar 7, 2007)

Ugh. I hate seeing that too. If mine aren't with me, I wait in my car till the parents come back. The only time I leave mine in the car is just as PP mentioned, I forgot something in the house on the counter (if its something I have to search for then I don't do it) I leave the car running, lock it and run. If its something that will take longer than 30 seconds we have to unload again. And when DD gets big enough to unbuckle herself that will stop as well.

How can people just leave their kid unattended like that? I must have a hand or foot on the stroller/buggy while at the store at all times. I can't imagine leaving them in the car! It bugs me, even people running into Braum's. I make the employees carry my stuff for me because I am not about to leave my kids in the car in a public place.


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## rosehill (Aug 19, 2006)

I would have called the police without hesitation. Maybe it wasn't JUST a selfish idiot parent, maybe the parent FORGOT his or her child was in the car!! You hear about it all the time and the child dies. There are some things you can't ignore.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

I wouldn't have worried about the kid outside the gas station, but I would have called the police in this situation.


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## Cutie Patootie (Feb 29, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jilian* 
I wonder if you could get into trouble for kidnapping or something similar for doing that? But then again if the child is hot you *have* to get him/her out of the car.

I think the best thing to do is to call the police from your cell phone and stay right at the car to keep an eye on the child and talk to the child to make sure he/she is ok.

Probably is the _best_ thing to do, to avoid any "complications". I have to admit though, my first thought is, "it would serve the person right, to come back to the car and have the child just be gone...especially if it was a babysitter". Now, I know, that is not very nice, but it was my first thought. It just makes me so angry. I have no issues whatsoever with leaving my kids in the car while I slip a letter into the mailbox 5 ft away, etc, but the thought of little ones stuck in a hot car, or just left out in the open for any freaky deaky to grab just kills me.


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## SamuraiMom (Nov 7, 2006)

:

Sorry, i should add that a month ago I walked out of my local market to find a RUNNING parked car next to mine with two LO's inside, one maybe 4 the other maybe 2. The car was RUNNING, and the driver side window was open.... I waited until the driver came out... though I had also called it to the attention of the cart collector who went back inside and paged the driver. Meanwhile a friend had pulled up and suggested that we move the car just to scare the driver.


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## pigpokey (Feb 23, 2006)

There are about a dozen little kids kidnapped per year in the United States out of millions of children under 6. There are a lot of unsafe conditions that can arise in or about a car to warrant a call to the police, but I think as mothers who ought to be concerned about families, not just children, we need to really consider before we get the police involved and "kidnapping" does not rise up to the level of a real threat. I think we forget that stranger kidnapping of young kids is fantastically rare.

Would you be calling the police to save a 14 year old girl sitting alone in the car from kidnapping? Because they are a much more attractive target and more often abducted.

Being a mother is a complicated job, and part of that is evaluating risks and making the best choice for our families. It's not always black and white.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pigpokey* 
There are about a dozen little kids kidnapped per year in the United States out of millions of children under 6. There are a lot of unsafe conditions that can arise in or about a car to warrant a call to the police, but I think as mothers who ought to be concerned about families, not just children, we need to really consider before we get the police involved and "kidnapping" does not rise up to the level of a real threat. I think we forget that stranger kidnapping of young kids is fantastically rare.

Would you be calling the police to save a 14 year old girl sitting alone in the car from kidnapping? Because they are a much more attractive target and more often abducted.

Being a mother is a complicated job, and part of that is evaluating risks and making the best choice for our families. It's not always black and white.

Kidnapping isn't what would worry me. Being in a car in Utah in the summer without air conditioning would worry me.


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## Stephanie29 (Jun 29, 2004)

My husband told me that when he and his sister were little, that their mom used to leave them in the car, at all various times of year, and go into the bar or wherever to play bingo. And every so often she'd come out and give them popcorn and pop.
nice.


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## tammyswanson (Feb 19, 2007)

I'd be freaking out as well. People like to say that child abduction is a rare thing, and maybe it is, but maybe it's rare because many parents don't leave their little ones alone for extended periods of time in public places like parking lots.

It only takes a few minutes or less even, for a child to be abducted, and when it's done, it is DONE. You can't go and reverse time and change it.

Most parent's won't leave their kids in the car like that, which is a good thing.


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## calebsmommy25 (Aug 23, 2008)

I can't imagine leaving my child or any child in the car. What are the parents thinking? It saddens my heart to hear of things like this happening. I hope these parents come to their senses before something awful happens to their children.


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