# preparing for nightweaning, but saying "no milk" seems wrong!



## aiea (Jan 27, 2007)

Hi all,

I thought we'd nightwean our DD just after Xmas, because I am ready and DD (who will be 16 months by then) seems close to ready now, at 15 mos. Also, DH will be on Xmas break from his job for about 10 days, and it would be convenient in case we need to discuss the transition, mull over our progress, and catch up on sleep.

My problem - I have never said no to a request for milk. I have a hard time saying "milk later, after we can park" for example while I'm driving. I don't know how I'll be ready to say no to milk overnight when DD is used to having boobies hour after hour, if need be. What would you say/do in this situation?

For background: DD has a routine that works pretty well (snack, bath, diaper & lotion, "night night" to everybody & everything, turn music on, crawl in bed and nurse to sleep while I tell her a story). When she's not teething she wakes 2-3x a night to nurse, when she is teething it can be all night nonstop. She will not take a pacifier (we tried one halfheartedly early on, and have considered starting a trial of them again but I do not like pacifiers).

She does not go to sleep without a boob unless it's a nap with her familiar sitter in a predictable time & place, once a week. Also her sitter is able to get her to sleep in the stroller occasionally. DH has no luck at this point getting her to sleep, ever, because DD will say "milk" during the attempt and then I'm on. I wondered last night if we should try to buckle down and get DH to just ignore the milk request, but then it'd be a double whammy - "not mom" AND "no milk" instead of just "not mom".

She will not fall asleep on her own in the car, etc, but twice in the last month she has rolled away during night time, listened to me tell her The Three Bears and she's nodded off. I am imagining that if I start nightweaning it may disrupt this very gradual trend of no need for boob I think (I hope) I'm seeing.

But if we don't nightwean, we'll have to wait until spring break to do it (DH is a teacher). I would like my body back, at least at night.







Ideas?


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## SublimeBirthGirl (Sep 9, 2005)

When I decided to night wean I just did it. Told her my boobies were asleep and she could have some milk in the morning. Gave her water instead. My older one was 19 months old and it went very smoothly even though she was a total boobaholic (I stopped nursing her to sleep around a year, b/c she was fighting sleep so hard). I'm nightweaning my 2nd now. It's been a week or so and she's still waking up once in the no-nursing zone. It was easier with my 1st because once she realized that I wasn't going to nurse her, she accepted cuddling instead. My 2nd refuses to cosleep, and when she wants to nurse at night she'll accept no other comfort. She flails if I hold her, hits me if I try to rub her back. So she's been more of a challenge. I'm done w/ the night nursing though (would love to be done completely, honestly!) so I'm sticking to it. It's not easy so it really just depends on how committed you are to it.


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## 1babysmom (May 22, 2006)

We're nightweaning DD and we just say "milk is sleeping" or napping or whatever DD should be doing.







Occasionally if she starts throwing a fit (she's a protestor...she likes to nurse to sleep, has fro 21 months, and even though I always nurse her BEFORE we go lay down she just wants it her way), then I'll eventually say no milk but many times we never have to get to that point. Although I am pg and don't have as much milk as before so sometimes "no milk" is true and probably makes sense to her...but she's a nursie baby and will just suck all day long if she could.


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## aiea (Jan 27, 2007)

Thanks for the replies!

SublimeBirthGirl: Your 2nd is the same as my little one. So if she wakes up, won't be held, won't be rubbed, what do you do? And in your experience, it sounds like sticking with it has really worked (right?). I am afraid I'll create a problem instead of solving one, but I guess I'll need to gauge it as we go.

1babysmom: What generally happens when you say "milk is sleeping"? I don't know whether to expect a whimper and then she turns over and goes back to sleep, or a major scream session (though I'm sure it will vary between children and night to night). How soon has it tapered off as the nights pass?

When my DD wakes up at night, her eyes are closed, she sort of shudders/flails her arms about while silent, and then she turns to her side and roots repeatedly. She seems so very asleep, like she's stirring herself to wake up enough to find the boob. If I'm not there, she'll turn & root several times before starting to cry (and then I'm running and flinging the baby monitor on the couch as I trot by).







Does it seem like she's waking up because she's hungry? I really don't know.

If I wake at night and witness her doing this, but wait a couple extra beats, she will often (with eyes closed) stop rooting and say/sign "milk". Then I know she must be sort-of awake and could comprehend "milk is sleeping".

Hmmm... SublimeBirthGirl's said "just do it" is the mantra she used. Maybe that will work for me, but I have to look deeply to know that I'm ready. Maybe it's more about me than her. I'll have to really examine this.

Gosh, I'm long-winded. Sorry for that.


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## 1babysmom (May 22, 2006)

Well, this is our 3rd nightweaning attempt, so this time around DD understands when I say milk is sleeping that she's not getting any and she needs to go to sleep. But before that (we tried around 14, then 16 months, for about 3-4 weeks each time, but she clearly wasn't ready....we made NO progress either time) she'd just scream and scream. This time around there are times where she'll just fuss but if it's before midnight or so she's more awake and we occasionally get screaming fits, but they don't last very long anymore.

It's definitely taken dedication on my part because it's just so much easier to nurse them back to sleep but I'm SO ready for her to nightwean...I don't care if I have to wake up with her still, I just want to be able to go nights without nursing constantly. But for us the biggest thing has been consistency...even if she does start screaming, I can't "give in" and end up nursing her, otherwise that seems to ruin any progress we've made.


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## aiea (Jan 27, 2007)

Thanks 1babysmom,

I'm glad for the info! So much appreciated.









I wanted to clarify one thing - I *do* know what'll happen when I say to her "milk is sleeping" and remove the breast. She'll get upset. Very upset. I just want to have some idea of how soon it'll become a whimper and go back to sleep instead.

It sounds like you just have to take that leap and then don't look back. Eventually (maybe very, very quickly) I would feel like I'm letting her CIO in-arms. Frankly I don't know if I could do it, if it came to that. It sounds like your nerves were not made of steel either, the first two times; or she was just not ready, or both?


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## 1babysmom (May 22, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aiea* 
It sounds like you just have to take that leap and then don't look back. Eventually (maybe very, very quickly) I would feel like I'm letting her CIO in-arms. Frankly I don't know if I could do it, if it came to that. It sounds like your nerves were not made of steel either, the first two times; or she was just not ready, or both?

Well, some nights I just couldn't do it (she'd cry for way too long) and other times she'd be fine, but just by 3-4 weeks of it and no realy progress (like every night was it's own despite what previously happened...she was still waking up just as frequently wanting to nurse, she wasn't consolable withOUT nursing, etc) I just figured that was my sign to take it up again some other time.

But this time has definitely been different because for the first times in her life I CAN put her back to sleep eventually without nursing (sometimes really quickly, too) and she only wakes once or twice in the night. DEFINITELY a different situation from the previous attempts.


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## aiea (Jan 27, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *1babysmom* 
But this time has definitely been different because for the first times in her life I CAN put her back to sleep eventually without nursing (sometimes really quickly, too) and she only wakes once or twice in the night. DEFINITELY a different situation from the previous attempts.

Do you chalk that up to her being old enough to "get it"? Or do you think two prior attempts has helped her to understand the idea? Darn, I wish we could just get into their heads. Gotta work on the telepathy...









Maybe we can give it a try with certain limits in place, and if no progress by the end of a week, we'd wait until spring break. She'd be 18 months by then.


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## 1babysmom (May 22, 2006)

I don't know...maybe a combination of the two? The one thing that makes me think age is just because most threads I read prior to this successful attempt seemed to show that kids nightweaned between 20-26 months, and from what I could tell 22-24 months seemed the most common. So I don't know if it's just a coincidence or what.

That said, let me tell you that I TOTALLY understand how frustrating it can be if they're not ready to nightwean right away (and who knows, maybe yours is!!). But I remember thinking (the first couple times we tried) how far away 20-26 months was, if that was going to be the time that worked for us. It almost made it worse. But in hindsight it doesn't feel like it took that long to get to this point.


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## Arts Therapist (Jun 26, 2006)

TOTALLY lurking and learning.

DS is 15 months and I am ready to wean...especially night wean. I'm sooo tired - he wakes every 1-3 hours. and has for 15 months.


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## aiea (Jan 27, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *1babysmom* 
...because most threads I read prior to this successful attempt seemed to show that kids nightweaned between 20-26 months,...

You know, I tried to get a sampling of this myself a few months ago, and from the little bit I gleaned on mothering, it seemed people were trying at 12 months but had success at 16 mos. Maybe I just read a few early-birds' posts. I should start a poll to have some direct data-gathering... Will try that in just a minute.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *1babysmom* 
... I TOTALLY understand how frustrating it can be if they're not ready to nightwean right away (and who knows, maybe yours is!!)

It has been frustrating at times, when I had extreme back pain from the side-lying. But now that I feel I'm (relatively) a veteran at this, and not in much pain at all, and DD is growing up so darn fast, I am definitely not at a low point. I think I just want to know enough so that I can plan quickly if we're sliding toward another low.


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## SublimeBirthGirl (Sep 9, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aiea* 
Thanks for the replies!

SublimeBirthGirl: Your 2nd is the same as my little one. So if she wakes up, won't be held, won't be rubbed, what do you do? And in your experience, it sounds like sticking with it has really worked (right?). I am afraid I'll create a problem instead of solving one, but I guess I'll need to gauge it as we go.


Mostly, I leave her alone. If I stay with her, she gets angrier and angrier and never goes back to sleep. I go in, pick her up and love on her, and she starts flailing around and screeching at me, so I put her down, try to rub her back and she pushes me away, so I go back to bed. She cries a few minutes and goes back to sleep. I've tried comforting her for longer and she just gets agitated and won't go back to sleep. If I let her nurse at night, she wakes up 400 times a night and everyone is exhausted, so I'm caught in this rock and hard place situation. She has always been a baby who preferred to sleep alone, it just took me a year of misery to figure it out.


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## 1babysmom (May 22, 2006)

Oh, reading the last reply made me think of something...are you guys co-sleepers? Just wondering, because my perspective is a co-sleeping one.







My DD won't let me have anything to do with her when she's mad about "no milk" either...she won't let me rub her back or cuddle her (she NEVER does that though LOL) or anything. But she also doesn't want me to leave, and I won't anyway because since we cosleep I want her to know that SHE goes to sleep regardless of whether we're in bed or not, KWIM?


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

Have you considered the option of NOT nightweaning? If it seems "do-able" to you to wait until the spring, why are you in a hurry to nightwean at all?

If your heart is telling you that it's "wrong to say no to a request to nurse" then why do it?


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## Synchro246 (Aug 8, 2005)

I didn't read the other responses. I said to my son "you can have water" in liu of "no milk" as much as was contextually possible. I did say "no milk" and "you can have milk when it's light out" too. I tried to stick to as few sayings as possible. If he was in a fit I'd just stick to the basic "no milk" or "you want milk. I understand." then "Sorry, no milk now" or "you can have water".

Good luck. It's hard & there may be a few relases (attemts at night nursing), but it doesn't last forever.


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## aiea (Jan 27, 2007)

Hi ladies, and thanks for the replies.

SublimeBirthGirl & 1babysmom - That "leave me alone, I'm mad" feeling has got to be the hardest. I know we'd be there. DD will not be consoled by patting, rubbing, whatever. That's something to consider and nightly (though we're not nightweaning) I'm trying to actively offer rocking instead of the breast, because she is consoled by that. I need a set of tools instead of just milk as the only soother.

1babysmom - We do co-sleep, and lately, just in the last week, she's nursed to a point of being asleep and then rolled vigorously away. She almost catapults herself away sometimes, several times a night, and is asleep and contented while doing it. I take it as a sign we're on the right track (we do the Pantley pulloff) and have had good sleep lately partially b/c of this. I agree if she can't nurse, I'd need to know she's OK & asleep, and she'd need to figure out Mom is nearby while sleepy and learning to settle herself. She (we) have not had the opportunity to think this through much, as she wants boob not just mom when she wakes up.

Ruthla - We definitely don't need to do this at Xmas, it's just a convenient time that we might need to use, if I am at another very low point with nursing then. We had a tough time for a long time with nursing, and I know we're heading toward nightweaning sometime in the next year or so. I am a major planner (can you tell?!).

Synchro246 - Very helpful, I will emulate that for sure.

Thanks again ladies! MDC mamas rock.


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## SublimeBirthGirl (Sep 9, 2005)

It has been very hard for me having a baby like her! I NEVER left my 1st when she was upset. It's a strange and not so great feeling to realize that my being with her makes her angrier. She's a far more aggressive child than my first ever was, already, and she's only 15 months. She can also be very sweet, of course, but I'm soooooooooooooooo nervous about 2.5, which was very hard for me with my first who was always an extremely sweet kid!


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## treemom2 (Oct 1, 2003)

My DS was still nursing every 2-3 hours at 2 years old. Although I wanted to nightwean so I could get some sleep, I chose to continue letting him nurse whenever he wanted. I just couldn't let him cry and I could not deny him his "milkies". I know it is hard to nurse at night. I can't sleep through it, but lying next to him did help. Shortly after turning 2 he pretty much quit night nursing on his own. Well, most of the time he doesn't nurse at night; except when he is sick or having a really rough night (he's 3 now). I hate to say it, but I agree with your title, the part that says "saying 'no milk' seems wrong". Is there any way to stick it out until she makes the choice to no longer night nurse, like when she's ready?


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Wow are we ever Right Here right now, too. Our Ds is 17 mos, and we've been working onnight weaning since 11 months. What worked the best was making DH responsible for the going to bed routine, because when he wakes he expects daddy and not mommy. Actually if I hear him before DH and go to im, I have to take him oer to see that daddy's still there,before he'll settle!
Pantley pull offf worked for us too. Actually, I say, all 1-2-3 all done, ready? 1...2...3! andusually I don't get to thee, he'll pop off and reach for DH. that mightbe an option for you. Realistically though, IT's takenus tis long tomake tis much progress what with teething and stuffy oses, and closing the house up for thewinter so ow ever sound carries in the house. we're itting a goodequalibrium now. and I find thatI don't mindnursing once or twice at night at all. The other thing is that he's started to just cuddle and snuggle more, and will sometimes readily accept that inplaceoif nursies. I also have to say sometimes, truthfully 'Sorry baby, milkie's all gone' or mommy can't nurse right now her boobies hurt' Just tr to be patient!







:


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## 1babysmom (May 22, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aiea* 
1babysmom - We do co-sleep, and lately, just in the last week, she's nursed to a point of being asleep and then rolled vigorously away. She almost catapults herself away sometimes, several times a night, and is asleep and contented while doing it. I take it as a sign we're on the right track (we do the Pantley pulloff) and have had good sleep lately partially b/c of this. I agree if she can't nurse, I'd need to know she's OK & asleep, and she'd need to figure out Mom is nearby while sleepy and learning to settle herself. She (we) have not had the opportunity to think this through much, as she wants boob not just mom when she wakes up.

Well that's good! PPO never worked for us. DD would just wake up MORE awake and fussier and it'd take longer to put her back to sleep.

I don't know if I've mentioned yet, but how nightweaning for us started this time was sort of on accident...well, we were STARTING the nightweaning process (because I'm now pg and although before night nursings kinda put me over the top, now it's also just plain uncomfortable trying to nurse her all night). We wanted to go REALLY slow because DD doesn't do nursing changes well, and so we were just going to cut out nursing sessions from about 5 am until she woke up. SO we started doing that, and it worked...a little bit of crying the first night but really well after that! Then after about a week and a half of being consistent with it, DD woke up to nurse at 2 am and I was so tired that I just tried to put her back to sleep without nursing (not really realizing it) and she went back to sleep SO easily. I didn't really realize it until th next day but I chose to take advantage of that and knew I had to be consistent and continue w/out that nursing session, too. So that's how it's worked for us.


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## rzberrymom (Feb 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aiea* 
You know, I tried to get a sampling of this myself a few months ago, and from the little bit I gleaned on mothering, it seemed people were trying at 12 months but had success at 16 mos.

I nightweaned my DD at 18 months, and it took one night. I can't imagine it would have worked that well any earlier--I just don't feel like we communicated really well until around 18 months. She was a big talker, but it was more that a real understanding seemed to click at around that age. And she was starting to develop some true empathy at around that age too, so she really seemed to understand that I just needed some sleep.


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## Valian (Oct 16, 2005)

We cosleep and while we're not completely nightweaning I have refused some requests lately. I consider it limiting night nursing. I am already fairly confident that nightweanig will not/would not change his wake-up pattern so its more about my being uncomfortable or just not nursing constantly.

Mostly I'll remind him we 'just finished na-nas' or I'll tell him that 'na-nas are all done, its time for sleeping.' and I do say we can nurse again later but that doesn't seem to help him at all.

So far, Ds will sometimes just flop around a little and go back to sleep. Otherwise he'll escalate and I'll know he really needs to nurse so we do. This would not have worked a few months ago. If I really want to not nurse right then, I'll also try having Dh rock Ds but that only works at some wakeups.


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## aiea (Jan 27, 2007)

Just to update you all -

I realized in talking this through that as long as DD is making changes at night time that seem to be for the better, there's no need to rock the boat. I'm not going nuts about night nursing at this stage, so no hurry. And DD has taken to flip-flopping around at night a good deal as she settles in (this is something pretty new for her and seems to be a transition away from nursing - anyone BTDT?). Sometimes (3x so far) she falls asleep at the beginning of the night without being on the boob. That's progress.









I am still not sure whether we'll nightwean in a month, as one month is a large window of time for DD to change/grow/mature. But in any case, we're not going to push it and I've gotten some excellent insight along the way. Thanks again!

April


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## bright_eyes (Dec 7, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aiea* 
Just to update you all -

I realized in talking this through that as long as DD is making changes at night time that seem to be for the better, there's no need to rock the boat. I'm not going nuts about night nursing at this stage, so no hurry. And DD has taken to flip-flopping around at night a good deal as she settles in (this is something pretty new for her and seems to be a transition away from nursing - anyone BTDT?). Sometimes (3x so far) she falls asleep at the beginning of the night without being on the boob. That's progress.









I am still not sure whether we'll nightwean in a month, as one month is a large window of time for DD to change/grow/mature. But in any case, we're not going to push it and I've gotten some excellent insight along the way. Thanks again!

April

I just stumbled across this post and wanted to respond as I can totally relate to everything you've said about your situation, even the above flip-flopping part! My ds a week shy of 17 months and I've been contemplating night-weaning during this Christmas break as well, more because of the opportunity, then anything else. Dh just finished school and doesn't start work for two weeks. But we also could also wait it out. As much as I'd love to be done with night nursing, I could keep doing it for awhile longer. Ds wakes up every 1 to 3 hours to nurse. It has nothing to do with being hungry and is completely out of habit, IMO. He does the same turning on his side, rooting around trying to find his nipple in his sleep. Sometimes he also signs for milk. If I don't get it out fast enough, then he will start to get really angry, he'll flail, hitting me, and rolling around, and screeching/crying. He will not be consoled by any other method then rocking. He won't let me touch him, let alone pat/rub his back, rock him, ect. to try and comfort him back to sleep. This has been one of the main factors in not night weaning him yet- everytime I think I finally can't handle anymore, I think about how bad I feel saying "no milk" and dealing with an angry child who cannot be consoled. As much as I want to do it now, during this window of opportunity, I would rather wait until at least 18 months (even though right now it is the perfect opportunity for dh being able to handle the lack of sleep since he's off work and we may not have any chance like this for a very long time), because I've heard from quite a few people that it was so much easier trying to night wean when their kids were 18+ months because it seemed that they could better comprehend the whole thing and accept it.

With the flip-flopping thing, ds used to do the same thing at night. He would be nursing, and then finally pull off, still awake, and then he'd roll all over the bed, and be so restless, until finally he'd be still and go to sleep. There were some nights I would get so impatient because ds hadn't nursed to sleep, wouldn't let me rock him, and would just roll around the bed, talking and being silly, (and I'd worry that he wasn't ever going to go to sleep) and then all of a sudden, he would calm down and go to sleep on his own. I finally realized that maybe he was just transitioning from needing to nurse to sleep to going to sleep on his own, and so I would just patiently lie there and wait until he went to sleep on his own (which would sometimes take up to 15 minutes). But in the past month or so, he's started to want to nurse again after all the flip-flopping, and now he rarely, rarely goes to sleep without nursing (although he did it again last night for the first time in awhile!). Sigh! They always have to be so unpredictable! I really thought we were making progress because he was going to sleep on his own, and then we go backwards. Is your dd still making progress with putting herself back to sleep?

Another things about the rolling around/flip flopping thing. When ds was 13 months, dh spent 2 weeks on the couch because he needed a break from being kicked all night by ds. Because there was more room in the bed, ds started sleeping better because he would start waking up, roll around the bed, and put himself back to sleep. When dh is beside him, he doesn't have as much freedom to move, and ends up waking himself up enough to want to nurse. He started going longer stretches at night, so much so that it brought AF back finally. Dh missed us and came back to bed, and ds went right back to waking up every 1 to 3 hours, just like before. I've been thinking that maybe we should try this again but put ds in his own bed (in our room, even next to our bed) so that he has more room, and maybe he would sleep better since he'd have more freedom to move around.

I find it so hard to really decide to just do it (night wean) and get it over with because it is sooooo easy to just nurse, even though there are some nights when I feel like I can hardly stand another night like the last where it feels like I am nursing more often during the night than I'm not, but when it comes down to it, it's still easier than having to hear ds's cries for milk, and not respond by giving him want he wants. Sometimes I wish someone would just tell me what the perfect age for ds to night wean so that it will be done in one night and a total breeze! I will gladly wait until that perfect time, the only problem is I haven't a clue when it is!!! Do you ever feel this way?

Anyway, I'm just rambling here! I mostly just wanted to let you know that my situation is quite similar to yours!

I also wanted to ask what you mean when you said that Christmas break will be another low time for nursing? What do you mean by low time?


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## aiea (Jan 27, 2007)

Hi bright_eyes,

It sounds like we are in the same boat! I've decided to let things ride as long as we're both happy about it. Right now, we are both having no problems with night nursing. And we have just come through a nasty head cold, more teething, and pinkeye, so nightweaning isn't top priority as of today. I think eventually it will be, but probably not over xmas break.

I agree there's no straight line of progress really. It seems to be two steps forward, one step back. I try very hard to not look at the individual steps, but the progress as a whole. I definitely wish there were actual "deadlines" for this kind of thing, because I function better that way. But I think it just doesn't work that way! My brain is wrapping itself around that notion, slowly but surely.

What I meant by a low point is an emotional low... I've probably had a half-dozen serious emotional lows that centered around night nursing, due to back pain, poor sleep, needy baby at night etc. I tend to get angry when awoken in the middle of the night, so having a baby wake me over & over has taken major adjustment on my part.

Luckily I haven't had an emotional downswing in awhile, and don't expect one over the holidays (they are usually a fun time for me). And DD has continued to fall asleep off the boob, or at least much less grabby for it, so I think we're well on our way. Until the next step back. And then there'll be two steps forward...









HTH!


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## bright_eyes (Dec 7, 2007)

We've decided to wait right now as well. Dh just asked me tonight if I wanted to start night weaning him I had to say no. As much as I want to, when the time comes where dh is willing to help, I just can't do it. It was nice to realize when he asked me, that deep down, I'm just not ready to do it. Having that in mind, also helps me get through the nights.

I know what you mean by the deadline thing. I just wish I knew when he would finally STTN. I would have no problem doing nothing and just waiting until he does it on his own, which is what I truly would love for all of us, but if it's going to take another year or more, then I don't know if I can do it for the long. I guess I just have to take it one night at a time. It seems that whenever I just get so tired of being woken up all night long, and want to night wean, things get better, and I can cope with it all better. He doesn't necessarily start sleeping better, but for some reason, I start sleeping better, or my attitude changes, or like tonight, I realize that I'm just not ready to make the change.

Ds never goes to sleep anymore without nursing. I'm starting to think I want to work on that first as I am getting really drained by spending my whole evening by putting him to sleep. After we eat, we play a bit, I give him a bath, read a million books with him, then nurse him, and always end up falling asleep with him for an hour. By the time I wake up, the evening is over and I'm too tired or it's too late to do any of the things I wanted to get done after he was in bed. I want to try and get dh more involved in the bedtime routine and hopefully get it so that dh can put him to bed. We'll see how that goes.

Hope you have a good holiday!


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## jadzia's_mommy (Jun 9, 2005)

With my oldest DD I found that it helped to do things very gradually. We had DH do a good bit of the nighttime parenting whenever possible, and I set limits on the night nursing at first, i.e. she didn't need to nurse EVERY hour, so I'd get her back to sleep by holding her or whatever. At some point, she wasn't nursing to sleep anymore. She'd wake up and nurse, then roll over and fall asleep a few minutes later. However, we hit a point where for a few months she'd wake up about 3 a.m., nurse, then stay awake for 2 hours. I had to get up for work at 5 a.m. and I was pregnant with DD #2. It just wasn't working anymore, so we decided to completely nightwean after a couple months of that. I ended up just moving to a different room for a couple nights, because I found it really hard to co-sleep and cut the nursing off completely. After 2 nights of her sleeping with DH, I came back to the family bed and her 3 a.m. waking was completely gone.

With DD#2, I'm really not pushing it because she is pretty good at night. If she wakes up and wants to nurse she goes right back to sleep, so it isn't tremendously disruptive. Also, she still falls asleep nursing most of the time, so I don't think she is AS ready as DD#1 was at this age. However, she is showing some signs. When bedtime comes I nurse her and instead of falling asleep she unlatches and starts squiming around. So I lay her down in the bed and rub her back and falls asleep.

Bottom line is, unless your DC shows signs of being ready to fall asleep without nursing, it may be more difficult to do it.


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## yoginisarah (Dec 20, 2007)

We semi-night weaned about a month ago (my son is 15 months old). I still feed him when he wakes up around 10 and change his diaper. Then he doesn't get milk again until 5:30 or 6am. So, if he wakes between 10 and 6, my husband takes care of it. My husband doesn't use the words "no milk" just "night night" and "daddy is here." If my son asks for "mama" my husband says "mama went night night." He rocks him and gives him his pacifier. My son got used to it pretty quickly. Now he knows that if I come and get him, it's milk time, and if daddy comes then it's rocking and back to bed. If he's particularly fussy, DH will lie down with him on the couch and they'll fall asleep together and DH will put him back into bed after that. I think it has been really good for my son to bond with my husband that way and realize that both of us can provide him comfort, even if it is in different ways.


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