# 4 1/2 year old won't pee at school!



## QueeTheBean (Aug 6, 2002)

Got a call from my son's preschool yesterday. He had to pee, but wouldn't go there and he asked that they call me to come bring him home. She said they tried everything, but to no avail. I had to wake up the baby and drive 20 mintues to get him. He was so sad, it killed me, but I was a little mad too, to be truthful, but tried not to let that show.

I asked him if we could go back in together and try, but he was crying and crying. We had to drive the 20 minutes home, and thank goodness, he did make it in time. He then wanted to go back to school to play outside with the other kids. (School is only from 1-4, so it was over by then).

He's never gone to the bathroom there all year. He has gone in other public places, though. The toilets at the school are child-sized & very low. I can't quite make out what the problem is, and don't know how to help him. I do not want to make a habit of this, and explained to him if he were sick, I'd come in a minute, but really didn't think not wanting to pee at school was a very good reason for me to come there.

In all honesty, he has my sypmathy, I don't like using public bathrooms either, but rather than missing out on school & playing outside . . . I'd do it!

What do I do?????


----------



## emmaline (Dec 16, 2001)

are the toilets clean? is there privacy (some of our preschools have no doors on toilets)? is someone bothering him in the toilets (not in a nasty way - I mean teasing about something or being too curious)?

edited to add - wow he has incredible bladder control


----------



## Golden (Mar 15, 2002)

I was going to ask if it was a privacy thing. I used to be a preschool teacher and have worked in places that had no doors and places that had full doors. I am imagining a scenario where your son wants privacy so they shut the door- and that freaks him out too. Or that there is no privacy. The commando 3 year old often turns into a more modest 4 1/2 year old. Totally appropriate. So, yes, just wondering what the arrangement was like at his school. Oh, and another thought: one school I worked at had a routine of bathrooming all the kids at a set times (and of coure any other time they needed to go..) in a line. If he is sensitive to that pressure outside the door (I myself have a bashful bladder), maybe that is why he is reluctant.


----------



## mom2connor (Mar 5, 2002)

i have the EXACT same problem w/ my 4 year old ds!!!. he will not go to the potty at school no matter what ever!!! he is in school from 9:15 to 3:00.. i have no idea how he does it? i can't hold it that long myself.

i have no advice b/c i've not been able to figure this one out yet either but you are certainly not alone..

mama of the kid w/ the strongest bladder in the east!







:

peace mamas

~mary


----------



## mojomom (Mar 5, 2003)

Oh do we have a toilet dilema here







My dd is 6 and she will use the school bathroom but she will not flush the toilet or any other toilet. She once saw the toilet overflow at my inlaws and since then toilets scare her. She has to make sure that they have a plunger, she wont use the bathroom if someone has just used it, she has to wait until the tank stops running. In public bathrooms she checks every tolet to find the cleanest one, she almost goes in her pants becaues she thinks about it alot. You have to wait until she is way away from the bathroom before you can flush the toilet. She has made her self throw up with worry about it. So I totally sympathize with you. Did you ask your son if something happened maybe someone walked in on him or the toilet would not flush or it overflowed. Sometimes it is the simpliest things that worry them. I wish I had better advice. Is he in school all day? Maybe he could go right before you leave for school and at my dd's school they have a public restroom with regular sized toilets maybe he could use those?


----------



## QueeTheBean (Aug 6, 2002)

Hmmmm.....

He is in a Montessori school (afternoons only) & nothing is structred as far as bathroom time--they just go when they have to go. The bathrooms are nice & clean and the toilet is closed off from the classroom by a curtain, and is a little bit out of the way, too. She even tried to take him to the bathroom in the other classroom--no kids were there & it has a door.

I think there is something else to it, but just can't find out. He did mention the fear of someone wallking in on him today, so maybe there is something to that theory. I thought I'd go in with him Tuesday and check it out---no pressure, just a visit. He's the kind of a kid, though, that when his mind is made up, that's it.

Glad to hear I'm not alone!!


----------



## Chelly2003 (Jan 5, 2003)

THe privacy thing was an issue for my son, when he was being potty trained. He was attending a day care that just had a row of toilets, no doors no nothing......
we changed school's - he is now in a school that has two bathrooms just off the classroom, with doors.. he was potty trained very quickly.
Even though we openly leave the door open at home, now and again he will insist we close it when he needs to pee, or even bath!

Perhaps someone walked in on your son? or made fun of him or something like that.....

Chelly


----------



## QueeTheBean (Aug 6, 2002)

Well, we still couldn't get to the bottom of it. All weekend, he peed and peed like a racehorse--at the mall, the bookstore, whereever we were. So, it wasn't a fear of public toilets, I guess! I walked him into school Tuesday and went to see the bathroom with him. Nothing out of the ordinary. Well--he went with me there! Yea! I was so proud. When I picked him up later, he said he went 7 times (in 3 hours). Hmmm. Took him to Friendly's for a treat (he peed twice there, too).

So, anyway, the excessive peeing has continued and now I am taking him to the doctor this afternoon! I remember doing this to myself in college--delaying going for so long that you eventually lose control. I don't know if that's it or not, but I want to get him checked in case it is physical.


----------

