# Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline



## Mizelenius (Mar 22, 2003)

Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline I found out about this book from this forum (it's by Rebecca Anne Bailey) and I am singing its praises! As some people have posted, the title makes it sound a little iffy, but it is indeed completely GD!

I haven't gotten halfway through the book yet, but it is already helping me with all of my relationships, not just the one with my daughter. It is very practical and easy to read. It explains exactly how and why our words have the effect they do on other people, and what to DO about it. Some books tell you "Don't do ___" but fail to offer alternatives . . .not this one! I was able to apply the concepts right away after reading the first few chapters, and can see a difference already in how my DD and I respond to conflict.

The principles work on the fact that we, as adults, need to improve ourselves before expecting change from our children. This made me take a good, hard look at how I interact with people, my attitude torwards difficult situations, and I how I tend to problem solve. It is not a book about blaming yourself or seeking perfection, but how love needs to be the basis for our relationships, not fear. It is actually helping me with my own issues unrelated to DD!

This book is excellent for children who are already verbal (inc. verbal toddlers, like my own DD), but I think it could be very useful for children who are not yet at that point, too. Some of the advice (what to say) is a bit TOO wordy, esp. for younger children, but if you follow the basic principles, you can tailor what/how to say based on your own child.

I'd love to hear from people who have this book and are experienced in its principles! I just had to come back here and rave . . .I think it's a must-read for anyone who has interactions with children!

ETA: I'm even thinking of buying an extra copy just to loan out to friends!


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## Piglet68 (Apr 5, 2002)

Thanks for posting this summary. I will add it to my library book list.

It reminds me of one of my fave books: "Giving the Love that Heals: a guide for parents" by Harville Hendrix. This is an extension of his famous couples therapy system "Imago". It's all about recognizing how our words affect others, and about communication. DH and I started doing Imago when we got engaged (my stepmum is an Imago therapist and had all the materials we needed) and it has done amazing things for our marriage and relationship. It was wonderful to read the parenting guide. It modifies the dialog process for parent-child interactions, but focuses on the key point that you need to work on yourself to be a good parent/model for your children. And that the issues you have with your kids, tend to be your own issues.

Anyways, I love stuff like this that is "whole-istic", so I will be eager to read more opinions on your book.


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## LoveBeads (Jul 8, 2002)

WOO HOOO!!!!! This is the book that *I* recommended





















!

(sorry, I know that's not the point but I'm kvelling!)

It is such an awesome book, it can be a real life changer. But the title is El Stinko - I really want to write to the author and tell her to change it! Would that be too ballsy? Am I allowed to say ballsy? Is it okay to say ballsy if I don't have any of "them"? Should I ask these questions on a different forum?

Anyway, if you want to discuss the book, just let me know!!!


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## Mizelenius (Mar 22, 2003)

Piglet, I think H. Hendrix recommends this book! So, it makes sense that his approach is similar. I've always thought of reading his work to help improve my marriage . . .so, he'll be the next author on my list! (I'm also waiting for the library to get me that toddler book you recommended . . .can't wait!)

LoveBeads: I've seen posts by you recommending this book!!!! ITA about the title-- I think it would be a very positive move for the title to change. But, then again, maybe the title (as is) attracts non-GD people and, after reading the book, would get them to be more GD? Hmm . . . things to ponder!


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## abranger (Dec 15, 2001)

I love this book also! I just got it and read the firct couple chapters on my morning out yesterday. I came home a much better momma (and probably wife







)

Amy


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