# DS won't let me sit down



## Rubber Ducky (Jul 16, 2009)

Anyone experienced this before? My DS cries and tantrums for me to pick him up. When I do he's usually happy but once I sit down (still holding him) he starts screaming all over again. He just wants me to constantly be on my feet and my back simply can't take it!

He might be teething. And we recently nightweaned him. But I can't be on my feet the whole day with such a heavy boy on me!

Any thoughts and suggestions?


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## fritz (Nov 9, 2005)

BTDT! My DS was like that from just a few months old. Being held all the time wasn't enough. If he wasn't nursing or sleeping, he wanted me to be on my feet, and he was only happy in one position...upright w/ his head on my chest/shoulder. And he'd only consent to being in the baby carrier or sling if we went outside on a walk--never inside the house. Did my posture suffer? Yes, but I was willing and able. I remember spending a lot of time staring out our living room picture window, watching squirrels and the wind in the trees.

He started walking at 10 months, so then he wanted to be moving on his own. But as soon as he got tired of using his legs, he'd want me to walk/pace with him. That was also the only way to get him to sleep most of the time, so I had plenty of time to build up my muscles. Did I get tired? Yes. I'd try shifting him around, but he still preferred just one position.

Around 18 months he started spending a little more time playing, out of my arms, but with me right there on the floor next to him. Gradually he spent more time out of my arms, but I still spent a huge portion of my days holding him (we moved, and spent about 7 months highly stressed out, so I wasn't sure how much was just his personality and how much was a reaction to parental stress). After we moved into our new-to-us house when he was almost 2.5 years old, he suddenly spent a lot longer out of my arms and playing independently.

I'd hold him while we watched movies, I'd hold him when he was calm or upset, I'd hold him to walk him to sleep for his nap and at night...it added up to hours a day. Sometimes my back did bother me, in which case I'd sit down; he'd protest; I'd explain I needed to stretch out my back/take a break; after a few minutes I'd stand back up and keep walking him back and forth.

When he dropped his nap around 3.5 years, I stopped having to walk him so much. Also, when he started sleeping through the night, that decreased the amount of time he spent in my arms, too (not that long after he dropped his nap). Now, at 4.5 years, I only hold him for about 5 minutes in the morning while we wave bye to DH as he leaves for work, and for about 5 minutes at night to get him sleepy. At around 50 pounds, he's too heavy and too big to be comfortable with my walking him to sleep anymore.

I actually want to get back into regular weightlifting just so he doesn't seem so heavy to me. =)

My suggestions for you would be to try out different baby carriers/slings to find out if your DS would be okay with any of them. Also, you could try disguising your taking a break as a chance to play some finger games/sing songs/read/ do anything else sitting down instead. I managed to get my DS used to the idea that I had to put him down when it was time for me to eat and shower.

Whatever you decide to do, as long as you're consistent about it, your DS will probably adapt. It won't be a tear-free process, but as long as you do the same thing/follow the same rule every time, your DS will eventually learn the new routine.


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## velochic (May 13, 2002)

I am a lucky momma to have a child that has never had a tantrum. Dd is almost 8 and I now look back FONDLY at what you have just described. I had to hold her, standing, for the first 6 months of her life, until she started crawling. She wanted held all.the.time. Not as much when she started crawling. Then, until she could walk at 10 months (thank goodness for an early walker!!), when I held her, it still had to be standing. No sitting. I used my slings every moment of every day sometimes. Once she could walk, she didn't mind sitting with me because she knew she could get up and walk when she wanted. Although she has never had a tantrum, she certainly perfected the whine at an early age when she wanted me to stand instead of sit while holding her.







By the time she was about 1 year old, she had totally outgrown it and was in that independent, "I walk" instead of being carried stage. Ahhh.... I loved those little baby days.


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

It's ok to say, "No sweetie, Mama's going to sit down." I know it's hard to listen to him cry, but you're not doing anything wrong by sitting.


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

Moving to "Toddlers"


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## Encinalien (Mar 27, 2007)

My back was killing me for an entire year after ds was born. The thing that finally helped was I saw a list of a ten minute belly-dancing workout in a magazine. It hasn't disappeared my thick midsection, but it completely took away my back pain in about three months.
1) put hands on hips feet togeather hands on hips: Move just your ribcage to the left through the center to the right. Continue moving side to side.
2)feet hip width apart. Keep arms away from body: make a clockwise circle with your hips like a "hula hoop", repeat in opposite direction. Continue alternating.
3) feet hip width apart. Keep arms away from body: lean right hip diagonally fwd. Shift it to the right side. Then around to the back and center. Other side. You'll be drawing figure 8's on the floor with your hips.
4) lift left hip and heel and lean to the right. Drop hip and heel. Return hips to center. Repeat to the right side. Now combine both sides into a smooth motion. You'll be drawing figure 8's on the wall in front of you with your belly button.
(I like this one. It feels similar to a bicycle going uphill)

print this up. You're going to have to read each step when you do it. It said "do 90 seconds each" but my back was so sore when I started I did 90 repititions disreguarding the time. I got this from Fitness magazine, just to be fair I'll say that (even though I was so dissappointed w/them)
I know you asked for parenting tips but I got sympathy pains reading your post. I got flashbacks to when my back hurt just from getting out of bed in the morning. I did this to lose my gut. Didn't work. But it did rebuild the muscles in my back and take away the pain and stiffness. And I was active during my pregnacy and it still tore me up that bad. I started this when ds was about a year old. I tried to it once a day. It took about three months and my pain and stiffness were gone.


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## Rubber Ducky (Jul 16, 2009)

Thanks ladies for all your encouragement and suggestions! Will definitely try the exercise and other methods


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## Dreamy (Jun 1, 2007)

DS went through a period like that - it's the main reason I bought a Scootababy carrier (soft structured side-carrier). It made things a lot easier at the time, though now I barely use it.


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## mysticmomma (Feb 8, 2005)

Playdough or puzzles are good distractions while sitting with a toddler on your lap.


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## swd12422 (Nov 9, 2007)

BTDT, still doing it at 2 yo! It was much worse when he was smaller, but it still happens. Now I sit down and read with him, and it usually works. When he was smaller, I'd try bouncing him on the big exercise ball b/c it alleviated the back pain more than sitting still, and sometimes the motion helped him.

Sorry I don't have any real solutions, just more sympathy...


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## earthmama369 (Jul 29, 2005)

DS is like that. He *needs* us to be up and moving for him to feel steady. He's 3.5 and 35 pounds, so yes, it's tiring. We're still looking for good alternatives. For what it's worth, he has sensory processing disorder and the vertical motion seems to meet a need that he can't meet himself. It was one of the initial signs that he had SPD -- that it wasn't a phase, but was a constant part of our lives.


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## nerdymom (Mar 20, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *phathui5* 
It's ok to say, "No sweetie, Mama's going to sit down." I know it's hard to listen to him cry, but you're not doing anything wrong by sitting.

I have done this. I say "no honey mommy needs to sit but I will still hold you" and I do. DS is 25lbs and I can hold him for a long time, but not forever. He has accepted it. It's OK to take care of yourself too. Your LO hasn't been abandoned by you, you're just meeting your own needs so that you are better able to meet his.


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