# Wrestling the baby into a car seat



## pumpkin (Apr 8, 2003)

DD hates the car seat. She is also incredibly strong. People are amazed at what she can lift. I can't actually force her into the seat. Well, I'm sure I could if I was willing to hurt her in the process, but obviously I am not going to do that.

I try to limit trips at all. When we do go out I try to limit stops. Under no circumstances do we have to get in and out more than twice. I walk as much as I can to the point that I've hurt myself carrying too much just to keep her from having to get in the car for a short trip.

I've tried a rotating stash of toys. I've tried snacks. I sing. I try to let her help as much as possible. I try to distract and then bend her legs. None of it changes the fact that she knows what getting strapped in means and she doesn't care that its 90 degrees or pouring rain and eventually we do have to go home.

Any tips on convincing her to sit?


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## chickabiddy (Jan 30, 2004)

Blow on or tickle the tummy -- that often makes them plop down and then buckle quick quick quick. (Not foolproof, but it works on probably 75% of the babies/toddlers at carseat checks. I don't know if it stands the test of time or they figure out what it means because I usually only see the kids once, or at most twice.)


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## treegardner (May 28, 2009)

I sympathize with you. DS is the same way. Sometimes he's ok with the car seat, but other times not. When he's decided that he doesn't want to be in the seat, there is no way I can get him in there without a struggle.


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## jspring0308 (Jul 24, 2008)

When my LO is unhappy w/getting into seat I do what chickabiddy said but to an even greater degree. I'll blow on her neck, tickle, kiss etc.etc. even if it doesn't make her happy it usually distracts her enough so I can get her in ---- wiggly is better then stiff and straight!


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## jeminijad (Mar 27, 2009)

I have only had this happen to me once- where tickling, smiling and playing around didn't work, and she still bucked. I forced her into the seat, and would have no matter how strong she is. (This after taking a good amount of time to get her seated in a kinder way, and on a busy street.)

I don't spank, I don't yell, and I am a gentle mother. The exceptions: Car seats, light sockets, pools and one or two other things are non negotiable and I am willing to use very firm tactics to make that clear to her.


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## Eclipsepearl (May 20, 2007)

Make sure she doesn't have sun in her eyes or some other discomfort. You way want to put that sticky stuff on the windows so that doesn't set her off.

It may be the cause or it could have been the original reason she started this car seat hating business.

Many babies go through this phase and it does pass. If she's not yet in a convertible, you may consider moving her early. Many babies object to the lying position of the bucket infant seats.

Also, if you have one of those, keep it in the car! Don't carry it around. Limit her time in it.

A tip someone gave me when my son was doing this was to bring the car seat in the house and let the child play with it (with supervision, depending on the model, it could topple). That way, it's less the "enemy".


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## mbhf (Jan 8, 2005)

It should get better as she gets older. My 18mo hates getting into her carseat but once she's in there she's generally okay with it. She hates getting in though, she will wrap her arms and legs around me and cry when we walk into the garage, it's awful. I talk to her about it gently and generally offer her a fun distraction once she's in her seat, like a sippy of juice (we don't usually have juice) or a snack, a book or (her favorite) the little mirror I used to hang to see her in. She loves "the baby" the most. This is what works now. When she was a little younger/smaller I would walk her out to the car with her back against my chest and my hands under her knees pulled up to her chest. Then I could put her in her seat sort of from behind and she was already bent so it was harder for her to flex her whole body.


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## rachelsmama (Jun 20, 2005)

Is she forward facing or rear facing? Both my kids hated rear-facing, so they got turned earlier than most people here would advocate (it was done legally) in the interest of avoiding a LOT of driver distraction, drastically reducing the chances of injuries in the process of buckling, and of course the emotional damage to everybody involved. Of course, we still limit car time as much as possible, but those rare car trips are a lot less traumatic this way.


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## momtoTnT (Dec 15, 2004)

We also turned our dd much sooner than we turned our ds because she hated the car sooo much- every single time she had to go in the car, she cried the entire time, unless we were able to get her in the car still sleeping (rarely). On a fluke she rode forward facing in someone else's car and for the first time in her life didn't scream/cry/fight - that was enough to convince us to turn her around too (again, it was done legally - she was almost 2) - and we've never had a problem since.


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## pixels99 (Jul 8, 2009)

I think it's the age. Around that age, DD went through the same thing. Now it's a fight to get her out.

One trick that I used that hasn't already been mentioned is to loosen the harness all the way, get her in the harness and get buckled, then tighten. I found it was easier to fight her to get her tightened than it was to fight her to get her in the harness. One time, DD would not sit. Every time I sat her down, she stood up before I could get the harness on. So I loosened the harness, put it around her with her standing in the seat, then grabbed her ankles and pulled them out so she plopped down and tightened the harness at the same time. It sounds awful, but she thought it was funny. It didn't hurt her at all.


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## pumpkin (Apr 8, 2003)

At 1 DD is only 18 pounds so we have quite awhile before we can even consider turning her.

She is in a convertible and that helped considerably with her hatred once we start moving.

I've tried putting my body weight on her and pressing her down and she just won't bend. She definitely got DH's strength and his stubbornness. It will be great when she is older, but right now it sucks.

I'm going to try the tickling and raspberries on our next outing. I'm glad I posted because sometimes in those frustrated moments its hard to think of these things.


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## caemommy (Apr 16, 2009)

We went thru this with both of my kids, too. Thankfully it passed. Sometimes I really had to use my forearm to "karate chop" (be assured I didn't actually hit them. just trying to come up with a word to describe) them at the hips in order to get them to bend! My DD had a very early desire to do things "all by herself". It became much easier when I asked if she wanted to climb into the seat by herself (she always wanted to start from the ground!. but she was surprisingly strong and could hoist herself up) and I put the straps on, but she did the chest clip (I had to line it up, but then she pressed it together using one hand and her arm). She also really loves to "climb across", meaning she gets in on other side of the backseat and walks across to climb into her carseat. It takes a little longer to accommodate this process, but it was worth it emotionally!

(I also remembered that my DD was very ticklish around her thighs and under her behind (and enjoyed being tickled), so sometimes I would tickle her there as she was in her seat, and it would kind of make her legs collapse so that she sat down, then I could get straps over the shoulders while she was still giggling.)

I would also recommend writing a little picture book for her. Simple, even stick figure drawings are fine! To the point of "Kira likes playing at the park! (or staying at home, or whatever) Sometimes she doesn't even want to get into her carseat to drive home! She yells and kicks and doesn't want her straps on! But mommy always has to keep Kira safe, so we always get buckled up. Mommy buckles her seat belt and Kira buckles her carseat. Then we can drive to the next place, which might be very fun! When we drive, we can see ... (Daddy, friend, pet, park)" Anyway, tailor it to her. My kids really respond to my "books" about whatever we are currently struggling with.


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## an_aurora (Jun 2, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rachelsmama* 
Is she forward facing or rear facing? Both my kids hated rear-facing, so they got turned earlier than most people here would advocate (it was done legally) in the interest of avoiding a LOT of driver distraction, drastically reducing the chances of injuries in the process of buckling, and of course the emotional damage to everybody involved. Of course, we still limit car time as much as possible, but those rare car trips are a lot less traumatic this way.

I don't think I have ever seen an injury related to buckling, and I'm sorry but "emotional damage" would be much more severe if you were to get into a crash, as by turning FF you are much increasing the odds of a catastrophic injury.


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## rachelsmama (Jun 20, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *an_aurora* 
I don't think I have ever seen an injury related to buckling, and I'm sorry but "emotional damage" would be much more severe if you were to get into a crash, as by turning FF you are much increasing the odds of a catastrophic injury.

It all comes down to a risk/benefit analysis. Driver distraction puts everybody at risk. I'm glad you're comfortable with your decisions, I'm certainly comfortable with mine.


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## swd12422 (Nov 9, 2007)

I used to pretend I was going to "throw" DS into the car. I'd put him under my arm, hold him parallel to the ground and swing him back and forth while counting.... ONE... TWO.... THREE!!!! and on THREE he'd get plopped into the seat and buckled in FAST. He still struggled a little, but he liked the swinging and feeling like I was going to just toss him in. Shortly after that phase, he figured out how to put the buckle for the chest strap together, and would sit nicely while I strapped him in so he'd be allowed to do the chest clip.

It also helps if they have a special toy or cup or SOMEthing (there has to be something she's obsessed with ATM!) that she can have for the car trip, but only after she's buckled in. (DS is used to having a toy, or snack cup and water cup with him and would reach for one of them as soon as he got in the car. I started telling him he could have it after he was buckled in and he learned quickly to cooperate.)

Good luck!


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## soygurl (Jan 28, 2006)

One suggestion I remember seeing before is to quckly scoop the child up in a tight cradle hold (with knees bent and up by the chest) and plopping them into the car like that. Then with one hand hold them back and the other quickly buckle.

Some kids will improve by turning them FF early (something I do NOT suggest except as an _extreme_ last resort!). Many other kids will continue to scream (or quickly start up again after a brief "honeymoon" phase) even after turning FF. And for the kids who just hate the car seat, it can be even harder to get them in FFing because they will go stiff as a board and slither down to the floor. When RFing it's usually easier to 'force' them to bend.


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## JL83 (Aug 7, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rachelsmama* 
It all comes down to a risk/benefit analysis. Driver distraction puts everybody at risk. I'm glad you're comfortable with your decisions, I'm certainly comfortable with mine.

While it might have worked out well for your family, it's not really a good idea to suggest turning kids around early. It's like recommending formula or bottles because your kid didn't have any health issues or nipple confusion.

RFing is much safer than FFing.


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## newmommy7-08 (Feb 2, 2008)

DS has gone through this phase several times. Today what worked was I gave up... I stopped fighting him. Closed the door and walked around, got in on the other side and sat there talking to him until he decided to sit. Then I got him to buckle the top and I got the bottom. He's been working on being able to buckle the chest clip for months.

Usually once he's buckled in the all out screaming stops. We also limit trips, only make one stop, and get it over and done as fast as possible. But, sometimes we have somewhere to go and the fight is on...

Good Luck mama! I did try turning DS a few weeks ago. Yeah I learned he gets motion sick and then I had a BIG mess to clean up!!! Needless to say, we're back to RFing!


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## jessica_s (Feb 22, 2007)

We have this problem as well. My DS is super strong and BIG so there are very few ways I can get him in there if he's not going at all.
Tickling is a good one. They relax and bend that way.








The other thing that I just started using is pretending his car seat talks. He's really into pretending and that sort of thing right now so the car seat calls to him when he doesn't want to go. The car seat talks to him and tells him to come on so he can tell it about his day or where he's going. Then when we get there and are getting BACK in the seat it wants to know what he did in there and asks a lot of questions.







I thought, there's no way he'll fall for it more than once but he does every time!!


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## rachelsmama (Jun 20, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JL83* 
While it might have worked out well for your family, it's not really a good idea to suggest turning kids around early. It's like recommending formula or bottles because your kid didn't have any health issues or nipple confusion.

While extended rear facing may work for your family, it's not really a good idea to pretend there aren't any cases where it doesn't work.


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## jocelyndale (Aug 28, 2006)

My son hated his carseat until sometime after 2yo. We didn't turn him FF--I won't compromise on safety. He also threw fits at 14mo about not getting my wine--I didn't give that to him. Since driving alone with him wasn't terribly safe due to the screaming, I chose to walk or take the bus with him and errands longer than 10-15 min drive got put off until DH could go with us and one of us could sit in back and entertain kiddo.

He tolerates the car seat well now and doesn't wrestle. He'll be three this month and is still RF.


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## JL83 (Aug 7, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rachelsmama* 
While extended rear facing may work for your family, it's not really a good idea to pretend there aren't any cases where it doesn't work.

Since all babies start out RFing, there really isn't such a thing as RFing not working. Some people try to justify it by saying it wasn't safe to drive with their kid screaming. My DD1 wasn't 20lbs until almost 20 months. So we didn't get the "choice" to turn her around. She screamed (to the point of throwing up) almost every time she was in the car until she was ~15 months. Then she got old enough to start watching the scenery and sing songs and things like that.

I always want to ask people who turned because the kid screamed what they would have done if their kid hadn't been 20lbs yet. Then it wouldn't have been legal.


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