# Deliver or have D&E? Need to make a choice soon :(



## Vermillion (Mar 12, 2005)

Here is my other thread- http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=801677

This one is just for advice on what to do. I'm still so shocked and numb and I need to make a choice pretty soon, even though I'd rather curl up not think about anything.

Since I am this far along, 17 weeks but baby is measuring at 15, I can't just let this pass on my own. I need to choose between having labor induced or a D&E.

I'm really leaning towards delivering. I think I can handle it emotionally, and I think it will be healing to me. but I don't know.

If anyone feels comfortable shaing their stories on what they did for losses at this point, it would be very much appreciated.


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## NullSet (Dec 19, 2004)

I haven't had a loss at 17 weeks, mine were 11 weeks and 40 weeks. In your shoes I would labor and deliver. It is what I feel most comfortable with.


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## heatherweh (Nov 29, 2007)

Take your time. I hope that you can take the weekend to have reflection and thought on it, learn as much as you can, and let yourself begin to grieve and heal. I am feeling your pain, my baby was only 9 weeks but already loved. I am miscarrying in pain right now and I think this weekend will be the end. Check your library for books on the topic, maybe someone can pick them up for you, it is helping me very much. The women on this site are helping me through this so much as well, reading the stories of others and sharing mine has been important- I hope it helps you too.


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## mommaduck (Sep 13, 2005)

We had a loss at 19wks...this is just me, but it meant the world to me to go through labour and deliver just as I would any other babe. I needed it to be real.


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## SquibsNCrackers (Oct 21, 2005)

My loss was much later so D&E was not an option, but I will say that going through labor and delivery was very important to me. Ultimately it was very healing and, as a pp said, "made it real" at a time when nothing seemed real. I won't suggest that being induced and delivering a still baby is a picnic, though. It just was better for me than being knocked out.


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## her_story (Jul 10, 2007)

I delivered my sons at 20 weeks. They had passed about a week earlier (twin to twin transfusion). I was induced with cytotec (sp?) vaginally (every 4 hours for 4 doses). The cramping wasn't much worse than bad menstrual pain until the last hour when I progressed from 1cm to 6cm very quickly. The boys literally came shooting out on a wave of amniotic fluid.

It was so important for me to labor and deliver my babies, not only for the experience of birth (this was my first pregnancy), but also so that I could hold my children. The experience made me a mommy. We took pictures and spent over an hour with Our Babies. This was our only opportunity to bond as parents to our children.

After the babies were born, I was given IV pitocin twice (sp?). That is were things went bad! I was unable to deliver the placenta and hemmoraged until I could get into the OR. I had a D&C to remove the placenta. I was given vercet (sp?) and remember none of the procedure. My pain was related to the waiting and cramping from the pitocin vs. the procedure. I left the hospital the next day (very woozy because of blood loss). 3 weeks later I had to undergo another D&C because of retained placenta that had abcessed. I was admitted for IV antibiotics, but experienced very little pain (only used motrin for pain) after this procedure.

No matter how much my body has gone through (I believe due to medical mis-management) I would not change being induced. It was the most meaningful experience to bond with my husband through labor in anticipation of meeting Our Babies... They haven't told us their names, but they are with me everyday since...

I am so sorry you have to go through this. My thoughts are with you.

-Angela


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## cyrusmama (Oct 17, 2004)

I am sorry you are having to go through this


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## Icequeen_in_ak (Mar 6, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommaduck* 
We had a loss at 19wks...this is just me, but it meant the world to me to go through labour and deliver just as I would any other babe. I needed it to be real.

This was me too. It was just what I had to do.

My friend just lost her son at 23 weeks a few days ago, and the fact that she was able to hold him made all the difference for her.

I think you have to follow your heart. I've found it rarely steers us wrong.

I'm so sorry mama.


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## Vermillion (Mar 12, 2005)

I am going in this afternoon to be induced. Strength and positive thoughts would be very much appreciated.

Thank you all.


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## SquibsNCrackers (Oct 21, 2005)

You can do this.


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## Synchro246 (Aug 8, 2005)

~~You will have the stregnth to get thru this~~


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## cfiddlinmama (May 9, 2006)

Oh mama! I'm so sorry for your loss. I'll be praying for strength for you this afternoon.







I'm so sorry.


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## ecstaticmama24 (Sep 20, 2006)




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## cyrusmama (Oct 17, 2004)

We'll be thinking of you


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## AutumnMama (Jan 2, 2004)

Mama, be gentle with yourself.


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## zonapellucida (Jul 16, 2004)

I delivered at 14 weeks and am glad it is what I had done.


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## momoftworedheads (Mar 6, 2003)

I hope everything goes well. I lost my daughter at 16 weeks and I delivered her, then I had to have a procedure to get the placenta out. It was not fun. I would opt for induction if I was ever in that place again.

I am so sorry you have to go through this. Please be gentle

Take care







:


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