# the nurse retracted his foreskin!



## OnTheBrink (Jan 24, 2004)

I'm so pissed! I took John for his well baby check today. The nurse practitioner was examining him on the table. He was not happy about it, so I was kind of cuddling him and whispering in his ear to calm him. I looked down and she was retracting his foreskin! I was so startled that I yelled! I told her to stop and reminded her that we should NOT do that! (He's only 16 months!) She insisted that it MUST be done EVERY night when we give him a bath or it will "get dirty and stick there." What the heck? I shot off a forceful email to her boss with links and info as soon as I got home. But what can I do for John? What will happen now? Is he hurt? Is our choice to not circumcize him negated by this? I mean, is it now pointless? Will he get an infection? Do I need to watch for something? I am so worried about his sweet little penis!


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Watch for redness or soreness. He'll probably be fine. I think that if I had a son and went for well baby checks I'd have a no hands on the penis rule.







: I just don't trust any of them.

-Angela


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## Quirky (Jun 18, 2002)

ARGHH! How maddening! In all likelihood he will be just fine - just leave him alone and watch for any redness, etc. but don't worry, this doesn't negate leaving him intact!


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## InDaPhunk (Jun 24, 2005)

How unbelievably irritating







!!! Good for you for yelling, I think that's what I'd do whether I meant to or not.....she's lucky she didn't lose a limb, eh? I can't believe she said it must be done every night, that's unreal.....yet typical, I guess. I'm sure his penis will be ok. Good for you also for writing a letter. Maybe other boys won't be hurt now due to this woman's _extreme_ ignorance. Try to relax if you can (have a cocktail to help







).


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## Daisyuk (May 15, 2005)

*AAP Care of the Uncircumcised Penis:*
Sometime during the first several years of your son's life, his foreskin, which covers the head of the penis, will separate from the glans. Some foreskins separate soon after birth or even before birth, but this is rare. When it happens is different for every child. It may take a few weeks, months or years.

After the foreskin separates from the glans, it can be pulled back away from the glans toward the abdomen. This is called foreskin retraction.

Most boys will be able to retract their foreskins by the time they are 5 years old, yet others will not be able to until the teenage years. As a boy becomes more aware of his body, he will most likely discover how to retract his own foreskin. But foreskin retraction should never be forced. Until separation occurs, do not try to pull the foreskin back - especially an infant's. Forcing the foreskin to retract before it is ready may severely harm the penis and cause pain, bleeding and tears in the skin.
http://www.medem.com/search/article_..._typ=NAV_SERCH

Something to print off and keep in the diaper bag to hand to ignorant caregivers and medics.


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## mamamillet (May 21, 2004)

Personally, I would recommend this woman be fired. She has absolutely no business examining any child. Her ignorant actions caused your son harm.


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## Minky (Jun 28, 2005)

Can you imagine if the tables were turned and a male doctor was doing the equivalent to a female baby? Why do they want to touch the penis? It just seems so malicious.


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## mamamillet (May 21, 2004)

I was thinking something similar. I have a ds and no dds so I was wondering what well baby check ups were like for little girls--anyone care to share?


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## QueenOfThePride (May 26, 2005)

I think a lot of health care providers think that intact boys will get meatal stenosis. I think that is what they are checking for. And just because they are ignorant, they are checking for phimosis.


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## LadyMarmalade (May 22, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamamillet*
Personally, I would recommend this woman be fired. She has absolutely no business examining any child. Her ignorant actions caused your son harm.

I totally agree!

Print off a few copies of the intact care agreement and make everyone sign them, in future, before they touch your son. Give them the papers to read and sign, and explain that you had a bad - possibly damaging - experience and you're not doubting their professionalism, but your first priority is the health, safety and wellbeing of your son.


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## njeb (Sep 10, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *QueenOfThePride*
I think a lot of health care providers think that intact boys will get meatal stenosis. I think that is what they are checking for. And just because they are ignorant, they are checking for phimosis.









: The ironic thing is, only circ'ed boys get meatal stenosis. And the vast majority of intact boys have "phimosis" at his age. The foreskin is SUPPOSED to be non-retractile at that age.
You've been given lots of good advice on reporting this "nurse," so I'll just say that you handled it well. Good for you for yelling at her!


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## OnTheBrink (Jan 24, 2004)

Here's the letter I am sending to her boss. I also left a message for a different pediatrician to see if they take new patients.

Dear Dr C***,

I write to you to express how upset I am about what happened to my fifteen month old son, John, while receiving a well-baby check up today. Though you are John's primary doctor, for scheduling reasons we saw I*** L***, ARNP. We have seen Ms L*** in the past and been pleased with her. However, today's incident leaves me no choice but to share with you my disappointment.

John was lying on the examination table and Ms L*** was checking him. He was upset and I was comforting him by cradling his head and talking to him. He flinched and I looked down to see Ms L*** retracting his intact foreskin. This shocked me because I know that an intact foreskin should not be retracted. I urgently told Ms L*** to stop and that it is my understanding that retracting an intact foreskin can be quite harmful at such a young age. She insisted that not only would it not hurt him, but it is necessary - and continued to examine the now exposed penis. She told me that I need to do this every day when I bathe him. Again, I told her how surprised I was by this and again she insisted that it is necessary.

I did not say much at the time because I was shocked and, honestly, doubting myself. Could it be that all I had learned and read was misunderstood? As soon as I got home I checked my references, which indeed indicated what I know to be true - that an intact foreskin of an infant boy should be left alone and never retracted.

From the American Academy of Pediatrics website:
The foreskin usually does not fully retract for several years and should never be forced.

I am worried about John and his future health. I know that there can be long term ramifications from this. I honestly do not know what to do for him now that this has occurred.

I can imagine that if a care provider examined an infant girl by forcibly opening her vagina, everyone would be shocked. This does not seem any different to me. We made the choice to not circumcise John because we wanted to protect him in his natural and perfect state. Now, he has been hurt and I am extremely upset. I had trusted that the staff of L**** Pediatrics is educated well and provides the best possible care for my children. I am sad to learn that I am wrong.

I have included information on forcible retraction of the foreskin. I hope that you will educate your staff on this issue. Thankfully, many boys remain intact and I hope to help protect them.

I look forward to hearing from you and Ms L***. If I can help by providing more information on this important issue, please let me know.

Sincerely,

Nancy M***

Enclosures:
http://nocirc.org/publish/4pam.pdf
Answers to Your Questions About Your Young Son's Intact Penis
http://nocirc.org/publish/6pam.pdf
Answers to Your Questions About Premature (Forcible) Retraction of Your Young Son's Foreskin
htt://www.aap.org
Circumcision: Frequently Asked Questions


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## QueenOfThePride (May 26, 2005)

Great letter!


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## tsk_mum (Nov 2, 2005)

GREAT Letter!!








I am so sorry to hear what happened to your son!

We do not know the sex of our little one yet but if it is a boy I plan to be well prepared with info. (from here) & cautious for him!! It is sad you have to protect your childs genitals from a doctor so much!







:


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## Kleine Hexe (Dec 2, 2001)

Oh Nancy! I'm so sorry. Poor little John. I'd proably give sitz baths in baking soda and maybe apply a bit of neosporin to the tip of his penis without retracting of course. Just to help prevent any germs *she* put there to go away.

I think I would have slugged her. Serious. When it comes to my children I have almost no impulse control. I get very mean. She would not have had an opportunity to continue the exam...with a bloody nose and all!

Don't ever doubt yourself. You know what is best for your children.


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## joli (Jan 18, 2006)

Excellent letter, I had a similar experience a few days ago with my 2yo, Hopefully your letter will help all the little foreskins that office comes into contact with from being harmed.
Joli


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## Sungold17 (Jan 31, 2004)

Good job the way you handled it. How







it is that doctors/nurses are doing these things.

Remember that the body has great power to heal itself.

I hope it never happens again!


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## hummingbear (Apr 17, 2003)

I loathe hearing this. It is inexcusable. Good for you to take action. I hope it is effective.


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## pjs (Mar 30, 2005)

I applaud your letter; this event is beyond unacceptable. Can you call the medical board to report medical negligence or misconduct. This is NOT medical care and us moms of intact boys need to advocate for safe care. What if a doctor just decided to pull back a fingernail and take a look? It's uneducated, painful, and under no circumstances can be excused simply because of ignorance.


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## LadyMarmalade (May 22, 2005)

That's a great letter! I hope the doctor listens.


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## KBinSATX (Jan 17, 2006)

I guess it never ends does it? Very interesting thread. I'll remember it when I chose and visit a Pediatrician with my son.


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## AmandaBL (Aug 3, 2004)

I'd sue them. Seriously. She's practicing outside the standard of care as clearly stated by the AAP. There were no health problems or concerns - she even said she does this routinley. I hope he's feeling fine today. -Amanda


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