# What is the worst/dumbest thing anyone has ever said to you about parenting stuff? II



## sapphire_chan

I







this topic, so here's a shiny new, non-server killing, thread. Everybody try to pay attention so we can start a new one at 500 posts or so next time and not break MDC.









The last topic from the old thread was on relatives claiming the baby as "theirs".

Sorry, I don't have anything myself yet, to really start this off properly.


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## kater07

Thanks for starting the new thread. I was going to do it and saw yours.

Last week, I was at a birthday party. A mom told me that she thinks her DD's immunity to her brother's strep-throat was stronger b/c she got 6 shots the day before he started to be ill. She said something like, it was only 6 shots but it was like 10 or so vaccines, so I know that's what made her immune to his strep throat.


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## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kater07* 
Thanks for starting the new thread. I was going to do it and saw yours.

Last week, I was at a birthday party. A mom told me that she thinks her DD's immunity to her brother's strep-throat was stronger b/c she got 6 shots the day before he started to be ill. She said something like, it was only 6 shots but it was like 10 or so vaccines, so I know that's what made her immune to his strep throat.


















For all the government's work in trying to convince people to vax, they certainly do a lousy job of educating people on how vaxes are supposed to work.


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## amberskyfire

My MIL does the "my grandbaby" thing, too. My husband and I moved to Hawaii from Texas a few years ago and when I got pregnant in June, she freaked out and got really mad at my husband for being "so irresponsible." Um hello? We've been married EIGHT YEARS! She wouldn't talk to us for two months and then when she finally did speak to us again, she said she was mad because we had moved so far away and we were "keeping her grandbaby from her."

She's MY baby, not hers!







:


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## beachmommy5

Comming out of lurkdom to say my mil is the same way, this is "her" grandbaby and she is so excited about "her" litle girl comming blah blah blah, she was the same way with ds and it drives me nuts! She actually went so far last pregnancy as to thank me for taking pre-natal vitamins and growing "her" such a healthy baby. Give me a break.


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## In Exile

Oh, I remembered a good one from being pregnant...

We have friends that love to play at a local bar, open mike night. Happens to be one of the last great dive bars with loooots of smoke. So, she said to me, oh, that's too bad, I would have loved for you guys to play with us, but it's such a smoked filled place...
Her husband heard that and "educated" her right away: "Honey, the baby is in her belly, there's no way the baby could get hurt".








Right...

Oh, by the way, she is a teacher in primary school...

But aside from that blooper nothing else came...


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## Pastrydemon

It always irked me a bit when DH's extended family would comment on DD's speedy running, etc. by asking if DH was athletic....huh? No? Then where did that come from (*ahem* -- me maybe?) My stupid MIL even asked "where DD's lovely blue eyes came from. DUH! Looking right at you!


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## User101

Thanks so much for starting the new thread, and for doing it with good grace!


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## butterfly_mommy

I had some great ones Last weekend from my grandmother

She asked me if I ever put my DS down and leave him to cry for a bit









Then she asked my mom when DH and I left to go to the store "Do they ever put him down?" My mom said "Mom, It's called attachment parenting so they try to have him in arms as much as possible" GM said "well in my day they told us to leave them in the crib to cry" My mom replies "Yeah and that is why we are all screwed up"









Another great one

GM "how long are you going to BF Julian for?"
Me "Well, I want to try child led weaning, right now I feel comfortable going till he is three but who knows maybe if he isn't ready to wean at three I can go longer"
GM making a scrunched up face "Oh, I don't like that"
My mom "Well you don't have to drink it"
Me "But you could if you want to"
GM looking shocked "Oh no thank you"







:

Then my GM is telling us how great my aunt's kids are, she has 5 that she natural parented including child led weaning with one of her daughters BF till 5. I turn to her and say "See that's what Attachment parenting and extended BF gets you"









My GM was always giving my aunt, her daughter, a hard time about parenting and she still doesn't get it!







:


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## Bkwyrm

I finally told my MIL that if she'd be giving birth to the baby, it would be hers. Otherwise, it's my kid.

What's weird is that after fifteen years of bugging us to have a baby (DH and have been together a long time!), we got around to doing so. My MIL was over the moon about Fish's birth, came to visit a few times (she lives about an hour away), and then her mom got sick and died and....nothing. She saw Fish at Christmas, when we brought her out there, and she'll come to the baby's first birthday party, next month. After all that fuss, after making me CRAZY telling me what to do and how to do it......no interest in the kid at all. Weird!


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## nolonger

We should cut my mother a bit of slack for being at that stage of pre-Alzheimer's where she gets mean when she's confused, but when she asked if Terran was "my great-grandchild" it kind of got to me; I composed a very carefully worded email reply explaining that 19yodd and 16yods simply weren't ready to be parents yet and that dd at least had put a lot of thought into her decision to postpone marriage and family until after college and a start in her career, but that I had no doubt that if she took good care of herself and "stuck around Hotel Life" a bit longer she would, indeed, live to see another generation of her descendants.

I was FURIOUS when I got back the one word reply of "Whew!"

He ain't your grandchild either, you mean old bat! The grandchildren you already have hate you so much they refuse to even use the overpriced gifts you send them, much less speak to you, and you know nothing about who they are and what they're interested in now that you can't control them any more. If I had known how easy it would be to protect my children from you three babies ago you wouldn't know about ANY of them!

/ rant over

Yea, but I love her anyway, even when she tells me that her dog is "like the daughter I never had", I just have to protect my youngest from her.


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## Odin

It was on Easter,and it's basically my DH and his family telling me that taking my DS to DH's Grandma's house (which every one that was there were smoking in, 9 people, I think) wouldn't hurt my DS (that is 2 months old almost). They said, it'll just be real quick, and then you can leave. I said NO WAY!!! And now DH's family thinks I'm even more of a bitch now.


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## big-mama

Someone told DH "let the baby cry, its good for his lungs". He won't tell me who said it though. I think he is afraid I will chew out whoever said it and embarrass him. Its nauseating that some people believe this garbage.


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## NewMama2007

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Pastrydemon* 
It always irked me a bit when DH's extended family would comment on DD's speedy running, etc. by asking if DH was athletic....huh? No? Then where did that come from (*ahem* -- me maybe?) My stupid MIL even asked "where DD's lovely blue eyes came from. DUH! Looking right at you!

This bothers me soooo much! Every trait is something that can be explained away by something on DH's side. I have bright blue eyes, so does DD, but she got them from DH's second cousin. My biological father has red hair, but she gets it from some distant uncle.







:







:







:

I feel like I was just the oven for this child that belongs to DH's side 100 percent!


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## FREEmom1120

It's really weird but my MIL is the opposite. DD is the spitting image of dh, but she always says she looks like me. It's so strange because I thought she'd be all about saying she looked like dh no matter what.

I HATE when people say a baby looks like anyone other than the mother or father though.


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## NewMama2007

We went to DH's grandmothers' house for Easter. We were all sitting in the living room talking about how we would NEVER give a child something to eat without asking their parents first. DH's grandmother is a kniving and manipulative woman, and while we were all talking, she picked up DD and went into the kitchen. I followed closely after, because I had an inkling what she was up to - she had given DD a WHOLE animal cracker ( I thought she was going to give her meat though - she knows we don't eat meat!), which DD shoved in her mouth and started to choke on.

DH's grandma's response? "Oh, she just needs to learn how to eat".

NO, she needs to grow a bigger mouth and more teeth in order to chew up that huge cracker! DH came in and saw my death look, took DD, and we started digging chunks of animal cracker out of her mouth. Then the crazy old bat tried to give her another one! We scooted after that.


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## NewMama2007

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Odin* 
It was on Easter,and it's basically my DH and his family telling me that taking my DS to DH's Grandma's house (which every one that was there were smoking in, 9 people, I think) wouldn't hurt my DS (that is 2 months old almost). They said, it'll just be real quick, and then you can leave. I said NO WAY!!! And now DH's family thinks I'm even more of a bitch now.









Good for you for sticking to your guns! I flat out told my SIL that if she's been smoking, she can't hold DD. She asked why.


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## spmamma

DH and I had met friends for dinner tonight and we were all standing outside the restaurant afterward. A lady looked at DD who was playing on the ground and said to me, "No socks?!"

We live in California. It was over 60 degrees out. She wasn't cold. I said, "It's okay."

Lady: "But it's cold. She should be wearing socks."
Me: "It's not cold. She's fine."


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## FREEmom1120

You don't get sick from cold feet anyway!!


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## amberskyfire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *FREEmom1120* 
I HATE when people say a baby looks like anyone other than the mother or father though.

This is funny because my baby looks absolutely nothing at all like me or my husband. She looks like nobody I've ever seen before. I always joke that I'm so glad I had her at home because if they had brought her to me in the hospital, I would have gone ballistic and told them to take it away and bring me my baby!


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## nolansmummy

My mil does the same thing in regards to who the babes look like. She won't ever say dd or ds has one of my traits. The kids are tall, so she says to dh, "well your dad was tall", i'm like "hello, i'm 6'0, maybe they get it from ME!" Grr. Their hair color comes from some distant relative on dh's side, their eye color, everything. She just can't stand that the kids look so much like me. My son looks exactly like my younger brother, but apparantly he doesn't, he looks just like dh's great grandpas, uncles brothers , cousin or something. Its crazy.


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## minkajane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *FREEmom1120* 
I HATE when people say a baby looks like anyone other than the mother or father though.

That made me laugh because every time I show people a pic of me, DS, and DF, they start talking about how DS looks like DF. I've been with DF for 10 months - no, my 3-year-old is not his! People are always SO shocked.


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## FREEmom1120

Well that's different I think. Really sweet actually.










My MIL always says her dd looks like dd's aunt, and that dh looks like his cousin. They both look exactly like *her*.

I was prepared to be pissed when she told me my dd looked like some distant relative. Luckily it hasn't happened!


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## Dea

So far I've been pretty lucky and haven't had a lot of really irritating stuff to report. However I did call my mom to ask which vaccinations I was given as a child (all of them) and she made some off handed comment that "if you were smart you would get all of the inoculations you can". This irritated me becasue we were having a conversation about me learning about them and what they do and the affects. So if I were smart I would learn everything I could and then make an educated choice.
The conversation turned then to circumcision and she declared that uncirced men are gross, dirty and diseased. I corrected her and said that no, no and no, that an uncirced guy isn't any of those, and asked if that is what she thought of my DH.

So clearly my mother is not on board with my style of parenting.


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## aprilflowers

I was told I should stop breastfeeding my 2 1/2 year old because he will remember it and resent me for allowing him to bf for so long.


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## MilkTrance

MIL -- Oh, Baby's eyes are just so beautiful! What colour are they?
Me -- They're green.
MIL -- They look like they change colour with this clothes! Just like his Daddy! He must have his Daddy's eyes!
Me -- Baby has green eyes.
SIL -- MilkTrance, YOU have green eyes! I think he has your eyes!
MIL -- Colour changing eyes... just like his Daddy!


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## Smokering

I'm sure this one's been said before, but it naively shocked me to hear it in real life (today, in fact):

Baby: [wails]
Me: I'll feed her in a minute, just got to get the cake out of the oven.
MIL: Maybe she's thirsty!
Me: Yeah, I'll feed her in a sec.
MIL: No, maybe she wants a drink of water.
[Baby is two weeks old]
Me: We don't give her water, just milk; I'll feed her in a second.
MIL: No, they get thirsty as well as hungry.
Me: Er, well, breastmilk is liquid...
MIL: No, they need to have water in between feeds, if they get thirsty.
Me: I'll feed her in a second...

*sigh*


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## LaurenB

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Smokering* 
I'm sure this one's been said before, but it naively shocked me to hear it in real life (today, in fact):

Baby: [wails]
Me: I'll feed her in a minute, just got to get the cake out of the oven.
MIL: Maybe she's thirsty!
Me: Yeah, I'll feed her in a sec.
MIL: No, maybe she wants a drink of water.
[Baby is two weeks old]
Me: We don't give her water, just milk; I'll feed her in a second.
MIL: No, they get thirsty as well as hungry.
Me: Er, well, breastmilk is liquid...
MIL: No, they need to have water in between feeds, if they get thirsty.
Me: I'll feed her in a second...

*sigh*

My mom is fixated on the idea that babies really want water. "I know when I'm thirsty I really want a glass of water! Milk isn't refreshing or thirst-quenching!"







Good grief. It drives me crazy.


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## amberskyfire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Smokering* 

Baby: [wails]
Me: I'll feed her in a minute, just got to get the cake out of the oven.
MIL: Maybe she's thirsty!
Me: Yeah, I'll feed her in a sec.
MIL: No, maybe she wants a drink of water.
[Baby is two weeks old]
Me: We don't give her water, just milk; I'll feed her in a second.
MIL: No, they get thirsty as well as hungry.
Me: Er, well, breastmilk is liquid...
MIL: No, they need to have water in between feeds, if they get thirsty.
Me: I'll feed her in a second...

*sigh*

One of my clients said this to me a few days ago. She called to see how the baby and I were doing and every time she calls, she acts like my pediatrician and asks me a hundred questions about how I'm taking care of the baby (this woman doesn't even HAVE children and has never been around any). She's always asking how long the baby sleeps, how often, how often I'm feeding her, etc.

When she called a few days ago, she wanted to know if I was giving the baby (only 2 weeks old) water. I said no and she, utterly shocked, said "doesn't she ever get thirsty?"

Of course she does. My breast milk is made of saltine crackers, after all







:


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## Smokering

I know! It really threw me... I mean, what a weird thing to say. Baby kittens and puppies and so on don't drink water, do they? And we don't see them dehydrating all over the place. Plus, little Rowan isn't even back up to her birthweight yet--well, maybe she is, she's being weighed tomorrow--anyway she certainly isn't obese, so why would I want to fill her little tummy up with something which contains no nutrients or calories? Very odd...


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## milkybean

re: the water thing...my MIL was told by their GP (who was her doc, the kids' doc, and the guy who attended the births of my husband and his sister) to give bottles of water. Since my MIL liked to sleep in, it was her oldest son's job to go in and give my hubby a full bottle (the BIG glass ones) of water when he woke up in the crib, before she would get up to nurse him or give him food.

Is it any wonder he has serious issues in knowing when he is hungry (he will go from feeling full to absolutely starving in a matter of minutes), and in eating when he's not hungry b/c he somehow worries he won't ever get fed again...

I realized I had a worst thing said, though the lady said it to my husband.

Background...I'm very "Irish" in appearance, with the light skin and blue eyes and blond brown red curly hair. My hubby is Korean, Portuguese, and Welsh, with the darkest eyes you've ever seen (one optometrist has ever been able to actually see where his pupil begins and iris ends, ONE) and black hair (his welsh/portuguese dad also had black hair along with his Korean mom), and he tans easily.

Our son arrived with serious Ronald McDonald hair (RED wild and curly).

His eyes were first blue, then green, then hazel. And now they are...amber. It's the only way to describe them without flat out saying that he has red eyes. Many strangers get confused looks and say "his eyes match his hair, I've never seen that". Neither have we.

OK but this is when he was still blue-eyed, so I've gotten off the track.

We went shopping for some clothes for me. I went into a dressing room. Baby was very small. We didn't own a stroller until DS was 2 years old, so hubby is holding baby, hotsling, diaper bag, and purse. Standing outside the women's dressing room.

Woman walks by, looks him up and down, looks at the baby...says...."You look as though you *stole* that child." And walked away.

Later on when DS was of playing-in-playground age, they were at the playground at our apt complex, having a grand time while I made dinner. They came in, much earlier than expected, DH almost in tears. They left, quickly, because he heard a woman on her balcony overlooking the play area, calling the police on him because there was a strange man in the playground who didn't have a child that looked like him there.







We could feel glad that she was vigilant, but these were our *neighbors*.


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## elisent

My MIL always insists that I need to rub/stroke the back of my newborns heads as often as possible or they will be cone headed for life. Every time she would come over she'd spend the entire time rubbing the baby's head.


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## Jezzy

Mil said that my wearing my baby wasn't good for her. I took dd for a walk yesterday, ( it was sunny and nice ) I also had my dog with me. She touched her cheek and said she was cold. Uggg *if* she were cold she wouldn't be sleeping so peacfully.

She also questioned my mw what *we* should give her when my milk isn't enough for her.







: stupid woman

That *we* won't be taking her outside for 3 months.














told my mw this )

that her first words were going to be Oma









Whenever she cries mil always ohhhhh you can't find your sleep. Duhhhh no wonder when you are yelling in her ear.









My baby was screaming on Easter ( DH whole family was here ) and they kept saying ohhh poor baby, to many strangers for you and they still wanted to pass her around.

I hate it when mil tells me to put her down.

she is *MY* baby I wish they would leave me the heck alone!!!


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## Onemagicmummy

subbing to new thread


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## Twinklefae

Quote:


Originally Posted by *milkybean* 

Woman walks by, looks him up and down, looks at the baby...says...."You look as though you *stole* that child." And walked away.

Later on when DS was of playing-in-playground age, they were at the playground at our apt complex, having a grand time while I made dinner. They came in, much earlier than expected, DH almost in tears. They left, quickly, because he heard a woman on her balcony overlooking the play area, calling the police on him because there was a strange man in the playground who didn't have a child that looked like him there.







We could feel glad that she was vigilant, but these were our *neighbors*.






























That's HORRIBLE! I'm so sorry for your DH.


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## mum4boys

Quote:


Originally Posted by *elisent* 
My MIL always insists that I need to rub/stroke the back of my newborns heads as often as possible or they will be cone headed for life. Every time she would come over she'd spend the entire time rubbing the baby's head.

That is funny...of course we get a couple of times a week the question, how did you get your baby's head so round? She does have a nice shaped head but we did not have an hand in doing anything.


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## superfastreader

subbing


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## shelley4

subbing!


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## Narn

Quote:


Originally Posted by *In Exile* 
Oh, I remembered a good one from being pregnant...

We have friends that love to play at a local bar, open mike night. Happens to be one of the last great dive bars with loooots of smoke. So, she said to me, oh, that's too bad, I would have loved for you guys to play with us, but it's such a smoked filled place...
Her husband heard that and "educated" her right away: "Honey, the baby is in her belly, there's no way the baby could get hurt".








Right...

Oh, by the way, she is a teacher in primary school...

But aside from that blooper nothing else came...

I wouldn't be around second-hand smoke when I was pregnant. That's not good for a fetus or a mom. Or did I read this post wrong?


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## Polliwog

On a different message board, I was defending my parenting practices. I stated that I didn't want a child that jumped when I said jump (with a lot more detail and explanation) but that my children (and the kids in my class) do what I need them to do the majority of the time.

Someone jumped on me and said, "To me following directions the first time is very important. I mean, honestly...I can teach a dog to sit and stay in a single day. Surely, a two year old child is smarter than a dog, right? "

I sat staring at my screen with my mouth wide open (where's that jaw dropping smilie when I need it.)


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## clintonhillmama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *milkybean* 

Woman walks by, looks him up and down, looks at the baby...says...."You look as though you *stole* that child." And walked away.

Later on when DS was of playing-in-playground age, they were at the playground at our apt complex, having a grand time while I made dinner. They came in, much earlier than expected, DH almost in tears. They left, quickly, because he heard a woman on her balcony overlooking the play area, calling the police on him because there was a strange man in the playground who didn't have a child that looked like him there.







We could feel glad that she was vigilant, but these were our *neighbors*.

nak
i get a version of this too, since i am dark & ds is blond, dd is ginger, both w. blue eyes.... but since i am a woman, people assume that i'm their babysitter!


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## ElisMomma

I get quite a lot of flak from just about everybody for CoSleeping and carrying DS all the time. After I explained to my mother about CS she's much more supportive. However she still thinks I need to let ds learn to be alone by leaving him alone more often. I think it's more because she wants ds to be more comforted by her than me. She likes to show him off in public and doesn't correct anyone when they think it's hers - she does look very young. It's frustrating but they're smitten with him.


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## MilkTrance

I now really, really want to see photos of that dark-eyed DH and the little baby with red hair and amber eyes. They both sound SO gorgeous!


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## didkisa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *FREEmom1120* 
It's really weird but my MIL is the opposite. DD is the spitting image of dh, but she always says she looks like me. It's so strange because I thought she'd be all about saying she looked like dh no matter what.

I HATE when people say a baby looks like anyone other than the mother or father though.

Hehe, my stepdad, who is absolutely no blood relation to my DD, _loves_ bragging that DD got his blue eyes.







Whateva!


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## LaurenB

I've gotten several comments on Ramona's round head too. But a few older women have taken it a step farther to then ask me if I had a cesarean. "Beautiful round head! She's a cesarean baby, right?" I know they don't mean to be rude or hurtful, but the first couple of times this came up it was all I could do not to burst into tears. Yes, cesarean.


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## eunytuny

Dh's nephew's gf just had a baby and I've been gently encouraging bf. They dont have 2 dimes to rub together so I was touting how cheap bm is and she just said "My mom said it hurts and WIC pays for all the formula anyway.


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## Bromache

I'm enjoying this thread, though some things are very maddening. Some people are so dumb, and rude!

I have two (minor) things to share. (1) My SIL, after seeing me with my DS for a few hours for the first time when he was about 2mo, said "I've totally decided I'm never going to breastfeed after watching you!"







: I don't even know what that's supposed to mean, but based on the bits I know about her, I would chalk it up to her being too selfish to put the time and effort in. Makes me feel sad for her LO on the way now...









(2) My "second mother" (she and her DH have been best friends with my parents since before I was born and I spent more time around them than my extended family) told me she was "very worried" about me around the same time as the first incident. I asked "Why?" and she responded that I "really needed a break" because of EBFing and CSing with DS, who was going through major colic at the time!







"Don't worry -- we're just fine!" is what I told her. Sure, I would have loved some help for me and DH going through that (we were several provinces away from family and friends, so we were all on our own unfortunately), but she really meant I should make him sleep in a separate room and CIO to get a break. Yeah right, like I could relax while my DS screamed in another room.







Gimme a break. I love her to death, but she always invested more in her dogs than her kids, IMO.

Other than that, I hate when people ask if he's STTN yet, strangers and family alike. Arrgghh!! First of all, is that your business? Second, why do you care? But I guess it's just a generic thing to ask. Oh, well.

On a personal level, friends


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## bigeyes

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
My MIL does the "my grandbaby" thing, too. My husband and I moved to Hawaii from Texas a few years ago and when I got pregnant in June, she freaked out and got really mad at my husband for being "so irresponsible." Um hello? We've been married EIGHT YEARS! She wouldn't talk to us for two months and then when she finally did speak to us again, she said she was mad because we had moved so far away and we were "keeping her grandbaby from her."

She's MY baby, not hers!







:

ARGH! My mother, when I was moving to CA, asked me to let her adopt my son, and just leave without him.

WTF?

Like I'd let them have a shot at effing up another generation.


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## bigeyes

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
My MIL does the "my grandbaby" thing, too. My husband and I moved to Hawaii from Texas a few years ago and when I got pregnant in June, she freaked out and got really mad at my husband for being "so irresponsible." Um hello? We've been married EIGHT YEARS! She wouldn't talk to us for two months and then when she finally did speak to us again, she said she was mad because we had moved so far away and we were "keeping her grandbaby from her."

She's MY baby, not hers!







:

ARGH! My mother, when I was moving to CA, asked me to let her adopt my son, and just leave without him.

WTF?

Like I'd let them have a shot at effing up another generation.


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## chicasmama

One day a girlfriend calls me up and tells me she is "very conserned" I'm thinking 'about what?' she goes on to tell me I'm depriving my 4 month old child of food when she is obviously ready for solids. I ask her why she thought that. Her response was "the other day when we were hanging out-I saw her eyeballing my bagel-she was grabbing for it!" Then goes on to tell me that if I don't start her on food she will have sensory issues and be screwed up for life







She was dead serious! I tried to explain to her that if she had a crack pipe in her hand my dd would have tried to grab it~it doesn't mean she 'needs' it! She really couldn't get the whole delaying of solids. She argued w/ me that a baby cannot survive on breastmilk it's entire first year of life....blah blah blah. Needless to say-we don't talk or hang out anymore, not after I caught her trying to give my dd (who was 6 months old at the time) some orange soda


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## Tithonia

I think the craziest thing is when people who really don't know your baby, or babies in general, try to give you advice. When my DD was about 3 months old she would take about 5 40-min. naps per day. She would hang out with my DH in the library while I was in class, and one day a middle-aged bachelor student, who often gave him unwelcome advice, told him that we should stop letting her nap so much, so she would sleep better at night.

Um... she was sleeping through the night at that point...

(often wish that were still true!)


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## newmommy7-08

So I've been reading ALL of these threads and I FINALLY have something to add. LAst weekend we were together w/ all of DH's family. his aunt had her 14mo GD and was feeding her jello w/ a cream topping. Everyone was laughing about all the stuff parents are now told not to do and talking about how they think it's just the dr's way of making the grandparents feel dumb. DH's aunt goes on to say if her daughter catches her giving her GD this jello she'll kill her since the baby throws up milk anytime she has it. I was totally shocked by this!!!! As I was deciding wether or not to say anything baby's mom walked into the room and informed her mom that this time she was safe... because however this topping was made it didn't use milk... I have no idea what it was but since she had made it she'd know...

That takes me to part two. I'm currently 6+ months pg w/ my first and a few days later I was w/ my MIL and told her that the situation made me uncomfortable. I wanted her to understand that this baby would be getting my milk until WE (DH and I) decided differently. I also explained why (food allergies etc... allergies run rampant in his family) Her response in her typical I don't like what you're saying so here's my passive agressive answer was well what happens at grandma's stays at grandma's! I was totally floored!!!!!

I smiled sweetly and informed her that is she ever wanted one on one time she'd best change that attitude VERY quickly.

I'm still SUPER irritated by this tho!!!


----------



## mumto2

This is bsby number 3 for me so I am much more relaxed and able to ignore so much more of the nonsence I hear. Believe me I have had plenty of practise.

Conversation with nurde practicioner for well baby visit. I actually only wanted ds weighed and measured so i can fill out his book same as the older two to prevent that third child syndrome. Anyway, that can't be done apparantly without my jumping through hoops

NP: you should be expressing now and storing it for when you leave the baby.
Me: Oh I have a plentiful supply and I'm not planning to leave the baby at the moment. (Ds was 6 weeks old)
NP: What about when you go to a wedding.
Me: Well i don't have any weddings on at the moment and I would just bring him with me.
NP: Well you should just get out by yourself then, the baby will be fine.
Me: I had two miscarriages and then fertility treatment to have this baby, he's 6 weeks old, he comes with me.
NP: Well just make sure you don't carry him all the time or he'll expect it then.
Me: Can we just do the weigh and measure?

I undress ds and she gasps to see a cloth diaper.

NP: Ewww.. I didn't think anyone used those anymore, we have disposables you know.
Me: Mmmm
NP: Well you'll have to stop using them when he's 12 months old or he'll never learn to walk.
Me; Really? (with a smirk) We all walk just fine and we wore cloth.
NP: Well that was before, modern kids just won't be able to do it.

I ran as fast as I could from that place!!!


----------



## BF124497

.


----------



## HappyFox05

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mumto2* 
I undress ds and she gasps to see a cloth diaper.

NP: Ewww.. I didn't think anyone used those anymore, we have disposables you know.
Me: Mmmm
NP: Well you'll have to stop using them when he's 12 months old or he'll never learn to walk.
Me; Really? (with a smirk) We all walk just fine and we wore cloth.
NP: Well that was before, modern kids just won't be able to do it.

I ran as fast as I could from that place!!!










OMG, our children will never walk normally. They're doomed. DOOMED!!


----------



## CAHemmerich

When we first were learning bf (with my first) most times my girl would get overwhelmed at the amount of milk in her mouth and latch off, at which point my let down would continue and milk would spray everywhere. upon seeing this, my grandmother got into the HABIT of saying "you're a good little cow". she actually just said it to me again the other day (oldest is 2yr 7mo) as if cows are the only ones who make milk. Hasn't she heard of a whole class of animals called MAMMALS!!!???

Then, when I was pg with our second, she said, after not seeing me for a while, "well, I'm sure you must be just enormous. you were HUGE with Charlotte". At the time I was 4 or 5 mo's, and still in the just looking fat stage. and, no matter what she thought, the largest I measured with charlotte was 38 cm, and regardless, I was probably back into size 12 jeans when Charlotte was 4 mo. hardly compares to a 22/24. guess who wears that size?

When we told my sister-in-law we were expecting our second she literally choked on her drink and exclaimed, "of course this couldn't have been planned!"

A couple months later, upon being told we were having a midwife, not an obstetrician, my mother-in-law said "you're not in the mental state to make a rational decision about the birth of your child" I hadn't even gotten to the part where we said we were going to have a homebirth! Then, when that choice info came out 2 min later, my same sister-in-law laughed, looked me dead in the face, and said "yeah, good luck with THAT!" she also told me she couldn't imagine me as the mother of 2 kids. then, not even hours later, she flipped out because her 18mo son was playing pretend and put his stuffed doggy down to my dog's water dish to drink and got him wet. hmm, is this a competence judge? (and, ironically, they have a dog at home too)

Then once #2 was born (unfortunately after a hospital transfer during labor) same sister-in-law told my husband she was "so glad" we had come to our senses and birthed in the hospital. we named her Chloe- same sister-in-law told my husband that we had used "her" name - the one she wanted for a future daughter. I couldn't, in good conscience, have been glad about it if we had planned it that way, but am I secretly happy? ummm, yes! he he! (apparently I missed the day in school when we were told we had to clear our name choice with our in-laws. particularly our in-laws who wore red, strapless, sweatheart neckline, would-embarass-fredericks-of-hollywood dresses to my WEDDING!)

yeah, Don't think I'm rushing to have any of them come to town again any time soon.


----------



## mamallama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *veganjoy* 

Her side of the family also tells me that, since G is so robust and healthy, she probably needs more nutrition than breastmilk alone.

This is my favorite! Love the logic!


----------



## HappyFox05

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jezzy* 
Mil said...that her first words were going to be Oma










You could tell her that in some cultures (Korea's, for instance) "Oma" means "Mama".


----------



## MamaRBH

I was at WalMart and my DD was a babe and was very fussy....I had her in the pouch and I was just calmly and quietly pacing in the front of the store to calm her. A man walked up to me and told me, "When she gets older and does that in the store, you'll have to make sure she knows it's not acceptable." He proceeded to tell me he'd take his son home and hit him with a piece of long decorative grass from their front yard.







I cut him off, told him I didn't appreciate him speaking to me let alone tell me what he did, and walked away. Unfortunely I couldn't get the whole thing out of my head for weeks. WalMart......sheesh!!!


----------



## milkybean

Quote:


Originally Posted by *clintonhillmama* 
nak
i get a version of this too, since i am dark & ds is blond, dd is ginger, both w. blue eyes.... but since i am a woman, people assume that i'm their babysitter!



















Quote:


Originally Posted by *MilkTrance* 
I now really, really want to see photos of that dark-eyed DH and the little baby with red hair and amber eyes. They both sound SO gorgeous!









Well, OK.







Since his eyes went amber after he was out of babyhood (we really thought they would be hazel and changey, LOL, but they only change when he's sick and they turn greenish (it's a really good sign that he's sick)), I only have a 3 year old pic of him that's a closeup. Tired at Disneyland. Right around his 1st b'day, here's the three of us. (hubby was in a "we thought it looked good at the time" moustache and goatee phase...shudder...why we thought that looked good I have *no* idea, and the MONTHS it took my mainly hair-less DH grow it, well, he'll never get those months back, LOL)

Hubby's family has always seen the resemblance (in person) between the two of them. But my family has been weird about it and strangers are bizarre.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LaurenB* 
I've gotten several comments on Ramona's round head too. But a few older women have taken it a step farther to then ask me if I had a cesarean. "Beautiful round head! She's a cesarean baby, right?" I know they don't mean to be rude or hurtful, but the first couple of times this came up it was all I could do not to burst into tears. Yes, cesarean.











Quote:


Originally Posted by *CAHemmerich* 
When we first were learning bf (with my first) most times my girl would get overwhelmed at the amount of milk in her mouth and latch off, at which point my let down would continue and milk would spray everywhere. upon seeing this, my grandmother got into the HABIT of saying "you're a good little cow". she actually just said it to me again the other day (oldest is 2yr 7mo) as if cows are the only ones who make milk. Hasn't she heard of a whole class of animals called MAMMALS!!!???

LOL...next time, spray her.









When visiting his mom's relatives in Korea as a child, DH saw some of his aunts and their friends standing around, one of them was nursing a baby. The mama decided he was staring too long, pulled baby off, aimed, and aprayed him with milk. Then dissolved in laughter at his astonishment. She's obviously looking at you too closely. So spray her.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *HappyFox05* 
You could tell her that in some cultures (Korea's, for instance) "Oma" means "Mama".









Ayep!


----------



## Down2Earth

This is more about pregnancy than a baby, but last week we started telling people I was pregnant. A woman who married a family friend came up to me and we had this conversation.

Woman: So you're telling people now?
(I rub my little belly) Me: Yeah, I can't really hide it, I'm showing early.
W: How far along are you?
Me: 10 weeks.
W: Are you having triplets or just twins? (she is serious!!!)
(I stop rubbing what must be an insanely huge belly instead of cute baby bump.) Me: No, just one.
W: Are you sure? You are really huge.
Me: No, I've had an u/s. There's only one.
(She looks puzzled) W: Well, maybe they made a mistake. You are really big for 10 weeks.

Wow! Thanks for telling me I'm fat while still in my 1st trimester! (BTW, I'm a pear shape and have never carried fat in my belly. I think everything is being shuffled around giving me my baby bump.)

And my BF said this really stupid thing, but she's never had kids so she doesn't know anything.

Me: I've been walking to the park everyday. And my reward for getting that far is to swing on the swings.
BF: OH NO!! You can't do that!!
Me: (puzzled) Why not? I like to swing and it's fun.
BF: But your baby's NOT ATTACHED yet! All that sloshing around will hurt it!

Ummm... okay. Note to self, don't talk about baby stuff with childless BF.


----------



## MilkTrance

I got the "twins" thing, too. I was pretty big, but the comments started early on, when I wasn't even that big at all.

A LOT of women get the "twins" thing from what I'm hearing.

I think that the previous generation's "15-20lbs maximum weight gain" mantra from doctors coloured their view of what a "normal" pregnancy looks like. A "normal" pregnancy is anywhere from 10 to 50lbs! Nikki Taylor gained 70!


----------



## Smokering

milkybean: What a cutie your son is! I have to admit when you said 'reddish eyes' I thought of those bizarre maroon eyes they gave Jesus in _The Passion of the Christ_--which were frankly creepy. But your son's eyes are lovely. And he looks adorable!

LaurenB: *hugs*


----------



## Jezzy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MilkTrance* 
I now really, really want to see photos of that dark-eyed DH and the little baby with red hair and amber eyes. They both sound SO gorgeous!









me too!!!

milkybean he is so cute!


----------



## CorasMama

My XMIL sometimes makes comments about how DD gets ___ trait from ___ on her side of the family. I think it's really sweet, since my DXH adopted DD when we got married. Basically, it says to me that she forgets and doesn't view DD as any less her grandchild as those born to her kids. Occasionally, she'll stop, or remember a few minutes later, and say, "oh, I guess she probably _didn't technically_ get that from uncle Ed, did she? *giggle*







" As many issues as I may have with her, she's pretty smitten with her granddaughter, and loves her actively. She sends her packages throughout the year (she only sees her for a few days at winter and spring break, and then for a few weeks every summer), with very personal, "this reminded me of you" kind of stuff, and has started including long letters with her memories of when she was Cora's age, and other family history. It is quite obvious that she sees Cora as her descendant and legacy.


----------



## turnipmama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tithonia* 
I think the craziest thing is when people who really don't know your baby, or babies in general, try to give you advice. When my DD was about 3 months old she would take about 5 40-min. naps per day. She would hang out with my DH in the library while I was in class, and one day a middle-aged bachelor student, who often gave him unwelcome advice, told him that we should stop letting her nap so much, so she would sleep better at night.

Um... she was sleeping through the night at that point...

(often wish that were still true!)










OH MY GOSH THIS TICKS ME OFF!!! My mother constantly does this. She only sees DD every few months but always assumes she knows exactly what's wrong. One day we were driving somewhere and DD started crying. She doesn't like the carseat that much unless someone was back there entertaining her plus she was tired. My mother said - "No, its because she is so tired from learning to walk!" - the funny thing is that she wasn't walking yet!

As far as the pregnancy comments, I think the ONLY things you should comment to a pregnant woman is the following:

"You look great/radiant/glowing"
"Children are such a joy"
"Congratulations!"


----------



## russsk

My ds is 5 weeks old, and so far we've been spared the comments from strangers, and my mil is pretty good about keeping most of her comments to herself. But when i was pg, I mentioned to a friend that i wanted to avoid drugs during birth. Well she went on and on about how crazy that is, how much it hurts, blah blah blah. And she brought it up a few times over the course of my pregnancy.

I found out after I gave birth that both of her kids were born via c-section, and she never went into labor. Now how would she know how painful it is??

What no one told me, however, was that giving birth naturally to my ds would make me feel like a superhero (esp. after pushing for 4 hours).


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eunytuny* 
Dh's nephew's gf just had a baby and I've been gently encouraging bf. They dont have 2 dimes to rub together so I was touting how cheap bm is and she just said "My mom said it hurts and WIC pays for all the formula anyway.

Does WIC pay for the trip to the grocery store to get the formula?


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Down2Earth* 
Me: I've been walking to the park everyday. And my reward for getting that far is to swing on the swings.
BF: OH NO!! You can't do that!!
Me: (puzzled) Why not? I like to swing and it's fun.
BF: But your baby's NOT ATTACHED yet! All that sloshing around will hurt it!

Ummm... okay. Note to self, don't talk about baby stuff with childless BF.

No, you need to talk with her about stuff so you can gently say "sweetie, that's not how it works. If you're curious I can tell you all about it, or you can do some reading if you'd prefer to hear it from an expert."


----------



## ColoradanMom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eunytuny* 
Dh's nephew's gf just had a baby and I've been gently encouraging bf. They dont have 2 dimes to rub together so I was touting how cheap bm is and she just said "My mom said it hurts and WIC pays for all the formula anyway.

How sad is that?? I'm pretty sure WIC also gives free lac support and pump rental.


----------



## ColoradanMom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MilkTrance* 

I think that the previous generation's "15-20lbs maximum weight gain" mantra from doctors coloured their view of what a "normal" pregnancy looks like. A "normal" pregnancy is anywhere from 10 to 50lbs! Nikki Taylor gained 70!

My gma did that one too. About halfway through asked how much I'd gained so far. Apparently she only gained 18 w/ my mom and she said "ya know the women, like your mom who gain like 30-40 pounds have so march harder of a time trying to lose it"







: I just said "Well the current recommendation is 25-35 and so my goal will be to be close to that. It doesn't matter to me as long as I'm properly nuturing my baby.


----------



## ColoradanMom

My MIL tends to irritate me a lot, particularly because she's a nurse.

Before the birth, my she kept trying to tell us not to "room-in" at the hospital. And she wasn't just saying it like "Don't feel guilty if you need to send DS to the nursery to get some sleep" But more like "You shouldn't room in. Have the baby sleep in the nursery and the nurses will bring him when he's hungry" Uhh.. no thanks - I wouldn't have my success at bfing depending on whether the nurses recognize the baby's hunger cues.







Unfortunately it wasn't an issue anyhow since he had to be Flight For Life-ed to the NICU at a different hospital. What I wouldn't have given to have had a poor night's sleep that first night WITH my sweet baby instead of miles apart.

Also, after I finally made the heartbreaking decision to quit forcing DS to eat by breast and let him have his fortified breastmilk by bottle, we were at their house and I went into the spare bedroom to pump. She said to me: "You know, nursing is actually a lot easier than pumping and bottle feeding"







Uh, ya, I didn't realize that...







way to hit a sore spot


----------



## CAHemmerich

I thought of a couple more after I went to bed last night.

my PEDIATRICIAN told me to stop nursing my toddler at around 2yrs because she "wasn't gaining enough weight" and apparently she thought she wasn't eating because she was filling up on my milk. Well, due to other circumstances she did end up weaning at around 2yrs 4/5mo. Guess what. She didn't "gain weight" any faster. Hmm.

after my hospital transfer during labor with our second, the pediatricians, nursing staff, nurses aids, obstericians - all of them - told me I HAD to give the Hepatitis B shot because I didn't know my own Hepatitis status. Um, excuse me? I most certainly know I DO NOT have Hepatitis B. Then they told me I had to have it because it was a public health concern - they just give it to everyone so they don't have to worry about the few drug users/promiscuous women who come into the hopsital for birth. Oh, so now you're assuming I'm an intravenous needle sharer and that I sleep around? So I said, "Well, I want personal health, not public health." They eventually stopped harassing me. Later, though, i woke up to a nurse coming in to take Chloe away from me - sneak her away is more like it. Good thing we were co-sleeping in the hospital bed! She said to me "Oh, I'm sorry to wake you. I was just going to take her to the nursery quick for her MMR shot." Um, what part of no vaccinations and DO NOT take her from my room did they not understand?


----------



## shanniesue2

there is this awful lady where I work. When I was pregnant and I had just found out we were having a boy, she asked what we were going to name him, I told her Christopher Lyle. And she looks at me and says, "I don't like that... why don't you name him Christopher Michael... I don't like the name Lyle." I looked at her and said, "That's my dead grandpa's name, thank you very much."

Later on, when I was 8 mos pg... she walke by me one day and said ,"you're getting fat."

The other stupid thing is something my FIL said to me when ds was 3or 4 days old. He was commenting on how I respond every time Chistopher creis. He said that Chrisopher was learning that all he had to do was cry o get me to pick him up and that I was teaching him to cry... he said, It's called operant conditioning." I responded, "that's not true. crying is the only way he has to let me know what his needs..." My fil interrupted and said, "yeah but he's human and he was born with all the brain cells an adult has." someone else interrupted at that point b/c they could see an argument ensuing... but what I wish I'd had time to point out was that if he'd been keeping up with current brain research he'd know that all the brain cell might be present but that none of the synapses were complete... that the connections between the brain cells weren't formed yet.

And even if all that weren't true... the whole thing about operat conditioning bothers me... my son is not a dog.


----------



## CanidFL

I thought I would chime in since we are talking about babies not looking like the parents. DS does have traits from both of us but I am white and DH is black so he is tan with the best features from both of us. We were at the park one day and a random mom started talking to me and saying how cute DS was. I said thanks and continued to play with him. This is the conversation:

Her - Is he Spanish?
Me - no. I am white and My DH is black
Her - but his father is Spanish?
Me - no. My DH is black.
Her - Your DH must be mad he's not the father. That baby is Spanish.
Me - He is the father. I'm married and DH is the father and he is black.
Her - oh so you got married first then had a baby with your husband. That isn't normal.
Me - hmmmm (totally speechless)

I am still in awe at this conversation. It was about 3 weeks ago and I can't stop laughing about it.


----------



## pear-shaped

Dd is only 3 months and I'm already sick of all the you need to put that baby down comments. I'm in Italy, so they come with a twist: if I'm always holding the baby, how do I cook? My answer always shocks them: I don't anymore. My husband's aunt is the worst. She asks us whenever she calls if we're holding the baby, and if we say yes, she says to put her down. She's also reassured me many times that crying is good for babies' lungs.









This isn't about parenting, but when I was pregnant and we found out dd's sex, this aunt didn't hide her disappointment. When I told her she asked, shocked, "What happened?" I should have said something like it was a boy but I fell and broke the penis off, but I was too angry to say anything more than "It's a girl, that's what happened!"







Later she consoled MIL (who was ecstatic to have another grandchild regardless of gender) "Che amarezza!- What bitterness!"

In the clinic the day dd was born, a nurse came into my room and yelled at me for holding her. She told me that dd should always be in the cradle (that plastic thing they wheel the babies around in.) It was wrong on so many levels I didn't know what to say. So I didn't even acknowledge it.

Since dd is pretty much always in my arms, we have someone who comes to clean the house once a week. Now she's on my case too. She tells me that dd is manipulative because she fusses and cries when she wants attention. Well of course she fusses and cries when she wants attention! She's a baby!

Do these people who have no problem with ignoring a baby who is upset treat adults the same way? If I ignored my husband when he comes home from a hard day of work wanting a hug, they'd say I was a bad wife. So why is okay to ignore a baby who needs a cuddle?

I've heard some really wonderful things from MIL, though. While staying with us after dd was born, she confessed that she was no good at keeping her house clean (quite an admission here in Italy, as the standards/ expectations are ridiculously high) when her children were young because she thought it was more important to spend time playing with them. And about our always holding dd: well, babies who are held all the time grow up to be happier and more confident. I love my MIL.


----------



## Down2Earth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MilkTrance* 
I got the "twins" thing, too. I was pretty big, but the comments started early on, when I wasn't even that big at all.

A LOT of women get the "twins" thing from what I'm hearing.

I think that the previous generation's "15-20lbs maximum weight gain" mantra from doctors coloured their view of what a "normal" pregnancy looks like. A "normal" pregnancy is anywhere from 10 to 50lbs! Nikki Taylor gained 70!

I would agree if this woman wasn't in her 20s and had already had one child. She should really know better!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *turnipmama* 
As far as the pregnancy comments, I think the ONLY things you should comment to a pregnant woman is the following:

"You look great/radiant/glowing"
"Children are such a joy"
"Congratulations!"

Exactly!









Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
No, you need to talk with her about stuff so you can gently say "sweetie, that's not how it works. If you're curious I can tell you all about it, or you can do some reading if you'd prefer to hear it from an expert."

She plans on never having children so it would sort of be like explaining how to make fried chicken to a vegetarian.


----------



## MySweetSunlight

"Are they twins?" While looking at my identical...twins. Nope, not twins, that couldn't be. They were just born at the same time. Actually, they're triplets, I left the third one at home in a drawer.
I was very young my first pregnancy, and I had a nasty comment from a woman who said "Well, you're going to give it up, aren't you?" Assuming of course, being a teenager I couldn't possibly be married, despite the ring on my finger and the fact her daughter ATTENDED MY WEDDING.
After my son was born, I had a woman say "It's too bad you didn't get a c-section, your son wouldn't have such a funny shaped head"
Considering I nearly died giving birth to him, I was not amused by any comments on the birthing process.


----------



## jessica_lizette

*


----------



## Irishmommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *milkybean* 
Well, OK.







Since his eyes went amber after he was out of babyhood (we really thought they would be hazel and changey, LOL, but they only change when he's sick and they turn greenish (it's a really good sign that he's sick)), I only have a 3 year old pic of him that's a closeup. Tired at Disneyland. Right around his 1st b'day, here's the three of us. (hubby was in a "we thought it looked good at the time" moustache and goatee phase...shudder...why we thought that looked good I have *no* idea, and the MONTHS it took my mainly hair-less DH grow it, well, he'll never get those months back, LOL)

Hubby's family has always seen the resemblance (in person) between the two of them. But my family has been weird about it and strangers are bizarre.

I don't see a resemblance between them, but there is nothing there at all to scream "couldn't be the father". Ds has awesome eyes!


----------



## jessica_lizette

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Irishmommy* 
I don't see a resemblance between them, but there is nothing there at all to scream "couldn't be the father". Ds has awesome eyes!

He actually looks like he has lots of daddy's facial features/bone structure with momma's coloring.


----------



## Irishmommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jessica_lizette* 
He actually looks like he has lots of daddy's facial features/bone structure with momma's coloring.


Maybe he does, I don't see it. Then again, everyone thinks that my dd1 is a clone of me, and I don't see that either.


----------



## Robyn79

I am just remembering my story to post here!

DS2 & DS3 are 14 months apart. DS2 is small for his age and DS3 is on the bigger side for his age...so they are pretty much the same size (wear the same size clothing) and because they are brothers look similar. This is a conversation that I had with a woman in the mall when they were younger.

Her: oh, such cute twins.
Me: <giggle> they actually aren't twins, but thank you
Her: Are you sure?

Seriously? Am I sure? Actually no, I'm not sure. Maybe I really did have twins and just don't remember it!!


----------



## nolonger

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CanidFL* 

Her - Is he Spanish?
Me - no. I am white and My DH is black
Her - but his father is Spanish?
Me - no. My DH is black.
Her - Your DH must be mad he's not the father. That baby is Spanish.
Me - He is the father. I'm married and DH is the father and he is black.
Her - oh so you got married first then had a baby with your husband. That isn't normal.
Me - hmmmm (totally speechless)

I am still in awe at this conversation. It was about 3 weeks ago and I can't stop laughing about it.

I had a similar conversation with someone who was curious about my ds, who is 1/4 black and 3/4 Irish. She kept saying "Irish" when she really meant "black" and it was so funny, because I might have found it grossly offensive if she'd used the real words but it sounded okay with the substitution:

"That's what I thought! He really does look very Irish. I was just telling my hubby, 'I wonder why that girl is breastfeeding an Irish baby? She doesn't look Irish at all! At first I thought she was the babysitter, but then she couldn't breastfeed.' That baby looks so Irish! I didn't know you could have a baby who looked that Irish if you weren't Irish yourself!"


----------



## elsa_elsa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CanidFL* 

Her - Is he Spanish?
Me - no. I am white and My DH is black
Her - but his father is Spanish?
Me - no. My DH is black.
Her - Your DH must be mad he's not the father. That baby is Spanish.
Me - He is the father. I'm married and DH is the father and he is black.
Her - oh so you got married first then had a baby with your husband. That isn't normal.
Me - hmmmm (totally speechless)

I am still in awe at this conversation. It was about 3 weeks ago and I can't stop laughing about it.


----------



## Lizzardbits

I *heart* my Hubby---

Co worker to Hubby: So how's sleeping going with the new bub?
Hubby: I sleep pretty good since my wife is breastfeeding and none of us really wake up, unless he needs a nappy change.
Co worker: But don't you want to feed your baby? How will you bond?
Hubby: I DO feed my baby-I buy food for my wife and then she feeds him breastmilk, besides I had thee best bonding moment when my son was born and I caught him.

I have another Hubby story







but Alex needs that nappy change so it will have to wait until another time....


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CAHemmerich* 
She said to me "Oh, I'm sorry to wake you. I was just going to take her to the nursery quick for her MMR shot." Um, what part of no vaccinations and DO NOT take her from my room did they not understand?

Apparently understanding those instructions required the same skills necessary to know that even when vaxxing the MMR doesn't happen until over 6 months old.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Down2Earth* 
She plans on never having children so it would sort of be like explaining how to make fried chicken to a vegetarian.









Hey, I watched the Good Eats episode, I know how to make fried chicken!--hand it over to some one else to do and get on with stuff I'm competent at. On the other hand, if I was constantly coming up with stuff about cooking meat to friends who actually cook it on a regular basis, I'd expect them to tell me "no, it doesn't work that way", especially since I might passing my cooking "knowledge" on to other people.

Of course, as long as she's sticking to things as silly as your example, it's probably okay.


----------



## lisavark

This was a pregnancy comment, not a parenting one, but when I was nine months pg, my dad sent me this email:

_According to CNN and a recent United Nations study, 1,600 women die in Afghanistan in every 100,000 live births. In comparison, only 12 deaths per 100,000 are recorded in the United States.

The births in Afghanistan are at home. So statistically, there is a 1.6% chance of the mother's demise during childbirth at home. In the US, the probability of mom's death during childbirth is reduced to 0.012% since most births are in hospitals. Using these data, the chance of your death during childbirth is about 100 times greater if you have the child at home rather than in hospital.

Personally, I think it makes no sense to increase the probability of your death by a factor of about 100, and I encourage you to reconsider giving birth in a suitable hospital, both for your welfare and that of your baby._

?!?!?! I wrote back a novel-length email explaining the statistical FACTS about homebirth, along with links to studies, as well as pointing out a few of the scientific flaws in his conclusions. Unbelievable. He'd known for months that I was planning a homebirth, and he waited till the last minute to even bring up his "concern." Happily, we had a beautiful and perfect homebirth, and I'm so glad I was able to say I told you so!









And this one wasn't said to me, but I just have to share...a PP mentioned this comment:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MySweetSunlight* 
"Are they twins?" While looking at my identical...twins. Nope, not twins, that couldn't be. They were just born at the same time. Actually, they're triplets, I left the third one at home in a drawer.

My mom had the same comment about me and my twin sister. She would take us out in identical (pink) outfits, with bows taped to our heads to show we were girls, in a double stroller. People would say, "Are they twins?" and then "Are they boys?" ?!? She started answering, "No, they're triplets, but their little brother is invisible."


----------



## Anna1979

We spent Easter with DH's family and they are all very anxious for us to have a baby and we're close to starting ttcing but not just yet. so we're all sitting around drink kaluha and vodka and my glass was empty and DH was mixing the next round a I called out to him "Hey babe, Mommy needs a drink" I use the term Mommy since that's what DH calls me because of our furbaby. Well his Aunt looks at me and goes "mommy? Does that mean you have an announcement to make" I just looked at her and said "Yup, alcohol is really great when you're pregnant"

It was a little bit snarky but she'd been making crazy comments all day and by then I was really sick and tired of it.


----------



## Neth Naneth

Oh man I have been reading and can not believe some of these posts (well the people in them)







.

When I was pregnant I worked with a girl who had a toddler and she told me the best thing about being a parent was that you get to make all of the rules. My son is now 21 months old and making the rules is far, far, far from the best thing about being a parent.

Also when my son was only a week old we were eating dinner over at my MIL's mom's house (because a lot of family was visiting to see the new baby and her house was larger and such). Anyway they decided that I shouldn't have to lift a finger at dinner time and if the baby needed anything (minus nursing of course) MIL or Grandma-in-Law would take care of it. So dinner starts and DS is being held by MIL who then sets him in a swing. Instantly he is uncomfortable and making it clear that he wants to be held, GIL response "sometimes it is good for them to cry." What happen to they were going to take care of him, MIL agrees with GIL and they both are just eating despite the fact that the baby is crying. I am sitting next to MIL and simply say "can *I* just pick him up." Her reply "Honey you do whatever you want." I scoot out my chair and GIL jumps up and yells "you sit" and picks up DS. I have to admit that it was only about 3 seconds that DS was crying but it was one of the longest 3 seconds of my life. DS proceded to root and so I left the table to nurse him right away.

Later that week DS was napping and I was cooking pancakes. DS started to cry and his father who never took interest in holding DS or attempting to bond with him as an infant was home at the time. Since I was sort of tied to the stove I said "it is okay pumkin daddy's coming" so that my son would hear my voice. His dad snickered and then told me that it would be good for him to cry. At that moment I left the stove, everything still cooking and picked up my baby. BTW DS's dad and me are no longer together.

I tried to explain to my doctor that after months of researched I had made the choice not to vax. I shouldn't have started my statement off with, I wanted to learn more about them because my mom didn't vax me or my siblings and my sister made the decision to not vax her children. My doctor butted in saying that you can't go off of what your family did, people use to use horse and buggy but they don't anymore. WTH

It is late but I am sure that I will think of a lot more.


----------



## MCatLvrMom2A&X

Quote:

I undress ds and she gasps to see a cloth diaper.

NP: Ewww.. I didn't think anyone used those anymore, we have disposables you know.
Me: Mmmm
NP: Well you'll have to stop using them when he's 12 months old or he'll never learn to walk.
Me; Really? (with a smirk) We all walk just fine and we wore cloth.

NP: Well that was before, modern kids just won't be able to do it.
Uhhm














&







oh and a great big


----------



## Lady Lilya

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lisavark* 
_According to CNN and a recent United Nations study, 1,600 women die in Afghanistan in every 100,000 live births. In comparison, only 12 deaths per 100,000 are recorded in the United States.

The births in Afghanistan are at home. So statistically, there is a 1.6% chance of the mother's demise during childbirth at home. In the US, the probability of mom's death during childbirth is reduced to 0.012% since most births are in hospitals. Using these data, the chance of your death during childbirth is about 100 times greater if you have the child at home rather than in hospital.

Personally, I think it makes no sense to increase the probability of your death by a factor of about 100, and I encourage you to reconsider giving birth in a suitable hospital, both for your welfare and that of your baby._

I believe I read that Holland has the highest rate of homebirths of any "first world nation" yet has such a low rate of death during childbirth, both for mother and baby, that they go years between deaths.

I would think a lot of it has to do with sanitation, education, and access to quality hospitals WHEN NEEDED.

I had a homebirth and never for a second feared for my life or the baby's. Or either of our health. (An OB told me if I had a homebirth that he would be mentally retarded.)


----------



## Lady Lilya

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Neth Naneth* 
My doctor butted in saying that you can't go off of what your family did, people use to use horse and buggy but they don't anymore. WTH

<sarcasm>Yeah, we all know now how harmful it was for us as a species to ride in buggies. Thank God we now have motor vehicles. I can't for the life of me figure out how our species escaped becoming extinct!</sarcasm>


----------



## mumto2

I used to look after a little boy 6 months older than my dd. I would often have them out together in the double pram and was used to people making remarks about them as they really did look quite similar. I had really had my fill one day when an older lady made disapproving comments to her friend. We were on our way home from the park and both kids were quite grubby - we were in the lift together so I don't know why she didn''t think I would hear.

Anyway she asked me if they were twins. No I said, he is 2 and a half and she has just turned two. Then, I couldn't help myself because she looked so horrified, I whispered to her 'different fathers'!!! After an audible gasp, she replied "but wasn't that hard on you dear, having them both so close together?'

I still laugh about that day! he he


----------



## sunnymw

This one was 800 miles away with my 2 old high school friends, one of which is very educated on matters of pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding because she's pregnant, and the other who's very educated about a lot of other things but tends to say things about stuff she knows nothing about. LOL, we all have a few of those.

Anyway, H was in the hospital after having just delivered her son, who was 2 days old when C went to visit her. H put her son to the breast to nurse, and he promptly pooped in his diaper. C said, 'You need to train him not to do that, or his wife is going to hate him someday!'

I hope H saw the humor in it (instead of, say, seeing it as disapproval of BF ultimately leading to weaning).


----------



## llamalluv

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
This is funny because my baby looks absolutely nothing at all like me or my husband. She looks like nobody I've ever seen before. I always joke that I'm so glad I had her at home because if they had brought her to me in the hospital, I would have gone ballistic and told them to take it away and bring me my baby!









I think it's funny too! Aside from hair and eye color (which we get from our father) my full sister and I look NOTHING like our parents! We look like our Grandmother's sisters, whom we've never even met (they live in Germany). None of our cousins got the same German genes (aside from the boobs). They all have brown eyes like their fathers and grandfathers. (Sis' and my father has a different father than all his siblings - it's COMPLICATED!








).


----------



## ThreeBeans

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CAHemmerich* 
She said to me "Oh, I'm sorry to wake you. I was just going to take her to the nursery quick for her MMR shot." Um, what part of no vaccinations and DO NOT take her from my room did they not understand?

The MMR shot has never been given at birth...you must have misheard?


----------



## sunnymw

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ThreeBeans* 
The MMR shot has never been given at birth...you must have misheard?

maybe the nurse was just saying MMR since that one is "necessary" obviously, moreso than the Hep B that mama had already declined... but was really going to give Hep B.


----------



## MySweetSunlight

A nurse at the neurologist's looking at Sunshine in my lap and her sister running around on the floor-
"So sad, you can see the child your daughter would've been."


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lisavark* 
This was a pregnancy comment, not a parenting one, but when I was nine months pg, my dad sent me this email:

_According to CNN and a recent United Nations study, 1,600 women die in Afghanistan in every 100,000 live births. In comparison, only 12 deaths per 100,000 are recorded in the United States.

The births in Afghanistan are at home. So statistically, there is a 1.6% chance of the mother's demise during childbirth at home. In the US, the probability of mom's death during childbirth is reduced to 0.012% since most births are in hospitals. Using these data, the chance of your death during childbirth is about 100 times greater if you have the child at home rather than in hospital.

Personally, I think it makes no sense to increase the probability of your death by a factor of about 100, and I encourage you to reconsider giving birth in a suitable hospital, both for your welfare and that of your baby._









Um, yeah, because of course all those 12 women in the U.S. and all those 1,600 women in Afghan had homebirths. And of course having having wars and things in a country won't affect death rates at all either.


----------



## CAHemmerich

no, she def said MMR in the hospital - part of what confuzzled me.


----------



## sunnymw

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CAHemmerich* 
no, she def said MMR in the hospital - part of what confuzzled me.

Sorry, I was vague... I mean that yes she said MMR but was lying to you







wouldn't put it past 'em.

Either way, that's some crap right there!


----------



## RadiantMama

Hey, I'm a little late on this one--I only check once a week or so, but inresponse to MinkaJane who said:

"I work with a pregnant woman who complained for 15 minutes about how she can't afford anything for the surprise baby and all her family is giving her all the baby stuff, then said, "I don't think I'm going to breastfeed" because everyone she knew FFed from the start and WIC pays for formula anyway."

Tell her WIC is a HUGE supporter of BFing!!!!!!! At least here in Portland they are. They want their clients to BF.


----------



## mntnmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CanidFL* 
I thought I would chime in since we are talking about babies not looking like the parents. DS does have traits from both of us but I am white and DH is black so he is tan with the best features from both of us. We were at the park one day and a random mom started talking to me and saying how cute DS was. I said thanks and continued to play with him. This is the conversation:

Her - Is he Spanish?
Me - no. I am white and My DH is black
Her - but his father is Spanish?
Me - no. My DH is black.
Her - Your DH must be mad he's not the father. That baby is Spanish.
Me - He is the father. I'm married and DH is the father and he is black.
Her - oh so you got married first then had a baby with your husband. That isn't normal.
Me - hmmmm (totally speechless)

I am still in awe at this conversation. It was about 3 weeks ago and I can't stop laughing about it.

Don't take it too badly, people who haven't seen mixed babies just don't realize what a wide and wonderful variation their is in their looks. Besides, a lot of people from hispanic countries DO have some African ancestry.
Though I don't know what to make of the getting married first not being normal!?


----------



## Jezzy

mntnmom, where in Germany are you??


----------



## mntnmom

Milkybean...your family is gorgeous. I have no doubt your DS is going to grow up to be a handsome guy.
I don't see how anyone would think DH wasn't the dad! Unless they're just racist and ASSUME "brown people" are up to something.







:


----------



## FarmerCathy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mntnmom* 
Don't take it too badly, people who haven't seen mixed babies just don't realize what a wide and wonderful variation their is in their looks. Besides, a lot of people from hispanic countries DO have some African ancestry.
Though I don't know what to make of the getting married first not being normal!?









If you look at evolution everyone used to have dark skin. We ALL have black decendents. It's all because some of our ancestors moved to the north and needed less pigment so that we could absorb enough sunlight in our skin. If everyone knew that I think people would be a little nicer towards our dark skin cousins.


----------



## jessica_lizette

*


----------



## KurumiSophia

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jessica_lizette* 
My DS is almost 4 months old, and we found out the other day that he has reflux. We're trying Zantac, and we're still working on how to give him his medicine without spitting it out.

I am also eliminating dairy from my diet for a while to see if that helps with his reflux.

Anyways, my mom was over last night when I was giving him his meds, and I had JUST finished telling her that I was going to try the no dairy thing. She was eating ice cream at the time (caramel and pecan), and saw that I was having a hard time getting DS to swallow his medicine. She offered to GIVE HIM SOME OF HER ICE CREAM to make him want to swallow his medicine! Yeah, lets give my 4 month old dairy AND nuts to make him feel better!










I think I posted a while back too that she wanted to give him some of her Mcdonalds oreo shake.

I just don't get it!

My God, that makes me want to *facepalm*


----------



## Melly24

My DD was two weeks old when a friend came over to visit. I handed DD to her and DD started squirming to which my friend remarks in a disapproving voice "oh shes got a mummy attachment already.." like its a bad thing!! Of course shes attached to me!


----------



## MummaLitt

MIL commented that DS "would be starting on solids soon".
I replied by saying that we were planning on delaying solids for awhile.

"Oh, well you know they sell baby food in the market."


----------



## amberskyfire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eunytuny* 
Dh's nephew's gf just had a baby and I've been gently encouraging bf. They dont have 2 dimes to rub together so I was touting how cheap bm is and she just said "My mom said it hurts and WIC pays for all the formula anyway.









drop: That's horrible!
It hurts when I nurse, too (she latches properly, I'm just sensitive and it's still new to me) but it doesn't hurt NEARLY as bad as the lack of sleep would if I had to get up several times in the middle of the night to mix and heat formula in a bottle while my infant screams bloody murder or to have to wash those darn bottles and lug them around with me everywhere when I want to leave the house.







:

I think if women were told what a hassle bottle feeding was, they might just opt to breastfeed instead if they are able to do so. I understand not being able to for different reasons, but if you CAN do it, jeez! Why make it harder on yourself?


----------



## amberskyfire

My husband has a 12yo DD from a previous marriage. I started dating him when she was four and he never really was attached to her because he has emotional issues (he's a great guy and I love him a lot, he's just detached - we think he might have a mild form of autism).

Well, I had planned to have an unassisted birth and practice natural parenting for the last eight years, so he knows where I stand. He always seemed fine until I had my baby three weeks ago. He was even totally supportive of me having an unassisted birth.

A few days ago, however, we went in to Wal-Mart to return a bunch of baby stuff his coworkers had bought. I had DD in a sling and she started to fuss and root. DH looked at me and said "I swear, if you whip that 'thing' (meaning my breast) out in here, I'm leaving!" I was totally shocked! Especially since we live in Hawaii and everyone here breastfeeds in public. I told him I'd never been so ashamed of him as I was in that moment








He shut up and I nursed her.

Then yesterday, I had to cook dinner so I put DD in her bouncy seat which I keep on DH's desk so he can watch her when I have to put her down for a second. He doesn't like holding her.

Anyway, she started to cry and wanted to be held. DH looked at her, then went on playing on his computer. I told him to pick her up and he looked at her like she might explode, then took one finger and poked the seat a few times so it would bounce. She continued to cry so I asked him to PLEASE pick her up. He did and she quieted right down. He walked around with her a minute, then started to jump up and down (his version of rocking which he thought was pretty funny) and I was horrified to see her little head bouncing up and down. Of course she started screaming and DH said "Oh, you have to take her now, she wants the boobie."

She doesn't want boobie! She probably thinks she's going to die. He said "no, I used to flip C up in the air all the time when she was a baby and she loved it." After the shock wore off, I told him to calm down and stop making her cry and he looked at me genuinely and said that "babies need to cry. It's good for them. When I had C, we used to just let her cry herself to sleep every night."

I was HORRIFIED and snatched DD away. Jeez! No wonder she still wets the bed!

Then he tried to give her (3 weeks old!) a cookie. I glared at him and he said "that's okay, I'll slip you the good stuff when mom's not looking."

Yeah, like I'm ever going to let him be alone with *MY* baby after all that.

I swear, he's a really sweet guy and I love him to death, I just wonder what the heck planet he came from and how his other DD ever survived past day one.


----------



## Lizzardbits

my second " i love my hubby" post.

Hubby ran into his ex and her mother after a long day at his job and he just wanted to get home.
Ex: Oh hey! (waves him down so he can't just walk past and not see her) Your Missus pregnant?
Hubby: (annoyed) Not anymore.
Ex: Oh that's too bad, when she loose it?
Hubby: She didn't "loose IT", she gave birth to our son in January. (trying to walk away)
Ex:You like being a dad? Those night time feeds are a b!tch, yeah?!
Hubby: Oh, she's breastfeeding so she lets me sleep at night. I love being a daddy.
Ex's mother makes a yuck face and says: Eww
Ex: you better get her to stop that and give the bub some proper bottles otherwise you will never bond especially during the night feeds!
Ex's mother thouroughly agrees: yeah stop her now!
Hubby: (stiffling urge to slap the both of them) It is what works best for our family, it is the best for my son, now I must go home to them. (turns and walks away hearing them mutter behind him)

At the end of relaying this story to me, he says" Like I am going to really listen to a woman who fobs her 2 kids off to her mother's or daycare when ever she can then turns around and brags that she can play the system to get free daycare when she doesn't work. Basically she had kids to get money and gov't housing, and I'm going to take her advice-I think NOT!!! I am so glad that you breastfeed our son and that he's well looked after."


----------



## Onemagicmummy

yey to your hubby

kiz


----------



## amber913

Just finished reading all of this and am amazed at how many people think it's acceptable to let a baby cry. Makes me feel I should be easier on my parents--they were once babies who were probably left to cry.







:


----------



## KurumiSophia

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amber913* 
Just finished reading all of this and am amazed at how many people think it's acceptable to let a baby cry. Makes me feel I should be easier on my parents--they were once babies who were probably left to cry.







:

Yep. Went to my mother's Fri. night because DH and I were fighting and I needed a break. My dad wanted to hold her because he hadn't seen her in a while and she starts screaming bloody murder. No one's handing her back to me and I'm starting to have a panic attack because a.) I'm still really twitchy about the fight DH and I had and b.) my daughter's screaming and no one's trying to comfort her.

And here my parents are talking about how it's the face I used to make when I cried at her age while she's screaming bloody murder.









I finally got her back into my arms and she calmed down so my mom starts in on me about how she needs to learn to be independent and be around other people. My Gods, she's 6m. I'm lucky if she entertains herself for 30 minutes let alone allows someone other than my MIL, DH, or myself to comfort her. *facepalm* What's sad is my brother was spouting the same crap.







Yes, that's it, my 6m old will manipulate me and her being attached is unhealthy.









I love my family but, OMG, the ignorance is amazing.


----------



## Mommy2Austin

(subbing)


----------



## Neth Naneth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MummaLitt* 
MIL commented that DS "would be starting on solids soon".
I replied by saying that we were planning on delaying solids for awhile.

"Oh, well you know they sell baby food in the market."




















What? Guess she thought you were delaying solids because you could not find any baby food.


----------



## amberskyfire

Just a post for everyone who gets the "babies should cry" or "you're going to spoil him/her" remarks. I have the perfect reply.

"Well, in OUR house, we treat others the way we want to be treated - with respect."

It makes people stop and think about what they've said.


----------



## angelachristin

This is BY FAR not the worst I've heard, but so stupid...my DH is Filipino, and I am white. When DS was born, by the 2nd day, he was getting pretty jaundiced, and the nurse mentioned it and that he might need treatment...and MIL (also Filipino) said, "No, he's fine, it's just because he's Oriental."







:


----------



## avalanchelynn

i don't know about this being the dumbest, but it was most annoying to me









"this baby shouldn't be so attached to you, she's too close to you" - courtesy of mil...

total screwball, wtf of a remark..


----------



## Mommy2Austin

We're on WIC and our next door neighbor is as well. I get the breastfeeding package (for obvious reasons) and she formula feeds (never BF'd.) I've been having some issues with BFing and she tells me I should get the formula package and stock up "just in case." I politely explained that we need the food more than we'd ever need formula and if I need formula I'll just buy a can








Her husband came over yesterday after he borrowed our phone and asked me "Is that a nebulizer or something?" I replied "No it's a breastpump." He got this big embarrased grin on his face and kind of chuckled uncomfortably all the way out the door.

They're really nice people and I BF'd over at their apt. all the time with no issue, they just don't know anything about BFing lol


----------



## didkisa

DD had her 12 month wbv a couple weeks ago and her ped, who is fully aware we are still very much breastfeeding, told me it's "very important she drink at least 12 ounces of whole (cow's) milk everyday." Now why on earth would that be better for DD than MY milk (since it would probably replace some of it, right?)?? Whatever...when it comes to sleep and breastfeeding I try not to discuss them with him or quickly change the subject.


----------



## Zuzu822

Quote:


Originally Posted by *didkisa* 
DD had her 12 month wbv a couple weeks ago and her ped, who is fully aware we are still very much breastfeeding, told me it's "very important she drink at least 12 ounces of whole (cow's) milk everyday." Now why on earth would that be better for DD than MY milk (since it would probably replace some of it, right?)?? Whatever...when it comes to sleep and breastfeeding I try not to discuss them with him or quickly change the subject.

My DS's old ped said the VERY same thing to me at his 12 mo. WBV! This was right after I said he nursed at least every 3-4 hours *around the clock*. She tried to scare me by saying he would develop osteopenia and even gave me a sheet on the "importance of calcium." Whatever! We never went back there and now see a much more knowledgeable family practice doc.


----------



## In Exile

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Zuzu822* 
My DS's old ped said the VERY same thing to me at his 12 mo. WBV! This was right after I said he nursed at least every 3-4 hours *around the clock*. She tried to scare me by saying he would develop osteopenia and even gave me a sheet on the "importance of calcium." Whatever! We never went back there and now see a much more knowledgeable family practice doc.

Got, I am so thrilled that our Ped even told me not to worry, he doesn't NEED other milk since we're nursing at 13 months, and certainly noy "bovine", I just love the man for saying, he does not need cow's milk. And he has no issue with DS eating almost no "meat", I told him what he eats, and was happy to hear all the other sources of protein and calcium...









Having said that, I love my inlaws: But what the heck is the concern? "Does he eat an assortment of meats?" ASSORTMENT?
DS was teething heavily on the weekend during a weekend and was refusing al solids, just nursed and nursed. FIL was CONSTANTLY asking if he needed water, constantly filled up cup with water and constantly put it in front of DS. It really started to annoy me. He did not eat any solids and if he nurses all day long I don't want him to fill up his stomache with water. He did not want water, he was happily nursing and FIL kept pushing the stupid water. AAAAAAARG. DS would be hungry all night if I let him drink all that water only.
I said to him, he just nursed and wants to nurse again, my FIL just does not get what breastfeeding means, don't know what he thinks is coming out of my boob.
MIL was asking my husband how much "milk" he gets. I came over joined and played dumb, honestly I was getting annoyed inside. I said he is having plenty of milk and grinned. My MIL understood, nodded and said: But what about cow's milk?

WTF is going on in people when they refuse to accept that the best nourishment for a human baby is human milk, not the milk of another species???

And the thing is that my Inlaws have had pleeeeeeeenty of info, now that their grandchild is 13 months old- they still don't get it.

I just wanna hit my head against the wall, despite information believe just refuse to let it sink it, it is discouraging. I noticed that the generation 50 plus is comletely immune to really understand, despite all efforts to educate. You can talk until you knots in your tongue- and right after it they drop sh** like that on you.


----------



## In Exile

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Narn* 
I wouldn't be around second-hand smoke when I was pregnant. That's not good for a fetus or a mom. Or did I read this post wrong?

Ahem, that's what I was saying...didn't say I actually said I set foot into that smoke filled bar. I was just shocked how the husband "educated" his way wife that there's no reason why I should't come- because according to him the baby's in my belly and "won't get any smoke". Right, the guy obviously never heard of second hand smoke.


----------



## nolonger

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amber913* 
Just finished reading all of this and am amazed at how many people think it's acceptable to let a baby cry. Makes me feel I should be easier on my parents--they were once babies who were probably left to cry.







:

My mother unapologetically tells of putting my bassinet in a semi-soundproofed room so that my crying wouldn't disturb the rest of the family. Now I understand those nightmares about the white acoustical tiles on the ceiling that make me wake up screaming, "I don't want to die alone! Please don't let me die alone!"

Don't get me wrong--my babies do cry, even the easygoing ds2 who has been going to work with me since he was two weeks old and certainly the angst-ridden adolescent whose insurance doesn't cover treatment for clinical depression that probably wouldn't help anyway, but they never have to cry alone.


----------



## justmama

My all-time favorite is the question:

so is she a good baby?








Ummmmm, what????? Aren't all babies good? I was at the girls' dad's house visiting with them(since I won't let him take the baby yet since she's just 3 months) and his grandma stopped by to see the kids and asked me that. I looked surprised I guess and slightly confused because she rephrased to ask if she slept well at night. I shocked her when I answered that Gracie woke just about every 2 hours to nurse but that it wasn't a huge deal since she sleeps right ON her food source anyway.







They make nice pillows apparently.


----------



## N8'sMom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *angelachristin* 
This is BY FAR not the worst I've heard, but so stupid...my DH is Filipino, and I am white. When DS was born, by the 2nd day, he was getting pretty jaundiced, and the nurse mentioned it and that he might need treatment...and MIL (also Filipino) said, "No, he's fine, it's just because he's Oriental."







:

Wow! I can't believe she said that!! I was always taught that Oriental is
RUGS and FOOD and PEOPLE are ASIAN.


----------



## Juliacat

When dd was a tiny baby, a friend of mine said to me, "Oh, I ran into your MIL downtown last week. We were talking about you, and I said Doesn't the baby look so much like Juliacat? And she said NO, the baby looks like ME!!!!! and I just thought that was a very strange thing to say." (friend is MIL's age and has a DIL and grandbabies of her own)

A friend of mine told me that his own six-week-old was crying "because he's just being willful." I thought it was B.S. at the time but since I wasn't a parent yet myself, I didn't think I could say anything.

People have said to me, "I could never cloth diaper, it's too much work." I'm like, "You can't use a washing machine?" and they're like *blink*

Oh yeah...and my niece who's my age...might want to get a clue before she has children of her own. When dd was a year old and nursing around the clock every 45 minutes and I was going insane from sleep deprivation, my niece first wanted to know "What's WRONG with her that she doesn't sleep all night?" and then "Can't you just go in another room when she cries?" And she was criticizing her SIL for not breastfeeding and I said "I think she probably didn't breastfeed because she didn't have any support--I wouldn't have been successful either without the help I had" and my niece said "How can one person possibly help another person breastfeed? What is there besides sticking the baby to the boob?" Oy, oy, oy.


----------



## KristyDi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *In Exile* 
WTF is going on in people when they refuse to accept that the best nourishment for a human baby is human milk, not the milk of another species???

I have some theories about that.

1. They can't see the milk going in, so it doesn't count as liquid/nutrition.

2. They can't participate in feeding the child, so it doesn't count as liquid/nutrition.

3. So many of the previous generations have little or no personal experience with breast feeding that there's some kind of mental block about it. Kinda like how my very intelligent father can't seem to grasp when to double click with the mouse and a computer and when not to. He double clicks everything, every time, no matter how often I explain it.

Oh and so I say something on topic: My GMIL swears her milk turned to water when her daughter was 5 months old and I need to keep an eye out in case it happens to me. She truly believes her breasts stopped producing milk and started producing water.


----------



## leafwood

My ped won the award last week.....we are doing sel/del vax with ds (now 3m) so for this visit I said we were only doing one vax and waiting on Polio (if we do it at all). She read me the roit act, told me that people like me were the reason there seeing Polio again (um, no) and then when I asked a question about dd's seasonal allergies (she's 4y) she said "so you're willing to consider giving your daughter Claritin to prevent serious allergies from turning into bronchitis like it did last year, but you're not willing to vax your son agains Polio....that's quite hypocricital....think about it".

Well doctor, I've been thinking about it ever since, and it still makes no sense and has officially qualified as "the dumbest thing anyone has ever said to me about parenting stuff". Congrats!


----------



## User101

Mamas, every now and again I have to come on this thread and remind you all that namecalling, no matter how well-deserved, is against the User Agreement.

So,







on the namecalling, please. Thanks!


----------



## Hippie Mama in MI

My in laws have discovered that my 20mo ds will sit in front of the TV show "Little Bear" for hours, if he's allowed. (They discovered this while I was not around, believe you me!) Now, every time we come over they instantly put "Little Bear" on. They've even taped hours of episodes for us to take home.

I feel like saying, "Great idea! Why play with him or talk to him, when you can just turn on the Amazing Brainwashing Machine and turn him into a walleyed zombie all afternoon? No wonder my husband never goes outside!"


----------



## N8'sMom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *leafwood* 
My ped won the award last week.....we are doing sel/del vax with ds (now 3m) so for this visit I said we were only doing one vax and waiting on Polio (if we do it at all). She read me the roit act, told me that people like me were the reason there seeing Polio again (um, no) and then when I asked a question about dd's seasonal allergies (she's 4y) she said "so you're willing to consider giving your daughter Claritin to prevent serious allergies from turning into bronchitis like it did last year, but you're not willing to vax your son agains Polio....that's quite hypocricital....think about it".

Well doctor, I've been thinking about it ever since, and it still makes no sense and has officially qualified as "the dumbest thing anyone has ever said to me about parenting stuff". Congrats!

NICE! REAL NICE!


----------



## Narn

Quote:


Originally Posted by *In Exile* 
Ahem, that's what I was saying...didn't say I actually said I set foot into that smoke filled bar. I was just shocked how the husband "educated" his way wife that there's no reason why I should't come- because according to him the baby's in my belly and "won't get any smoke". Right, the guy obviously never heard of second hand smoke.

I'm sorry! I kept reading it over and over...


----------



## not now

Quote:


Originally Posted by *angelachristin* 
This is BY FAR not the worst I've heard, but so stupid...my DH is Filipino, and I am white. When DS was born, by the 2nd day, he was getting pretty jaundiced, and the nurse mentioned it and that he might need treatment...and MIL (also Filipino) said, "No, he's fine, it's just because he's Oriental."







:

When I was born the nurses thought I was getting jaundiced and my momma told them "No, she's Mexican. She has that undertone." I was never jaundice, I've just got that olive undertone. If I don't pick up a tan I have a yellow/green undertone. When I put my arm next to The Man's arm I look yellow, he looks pink.

* Someone told The Man that we had to get rid of our cats since they "Steal the baby's air." His response was "Are we really having this conversation?"

* My best friend and I were deciding where to have lunch. I have no cravings and she's on a very particular diet. I told her to choose since I really don't care were we eat as long as I eat. She said "No, you have to eat what you're craving or your baby will be born with an open mouth" Huh?


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *not now* 
I was never jaundice, I've just got that olive undertone. If I don't pick up a tan I have a yellow/green undertone. When I put my arm next to The Man's arm I look yellow, he looks pink.

My ancestry is entirely northern European, mostly from the UK, and I've got definite yellow undertones. I blush pink, but that's about it.








<--me


----------



## shanniesue2

Quote:


Originally Posted by *not now* 
* My best friend and I were deciding where to have lunch. I have no cravings and she's on a very particular diet. I told her to choose since I really don't care were we eat as long as I eat. She said "No, you have to eat what you're craving or your baby will be born with an open mouth" Huh?


An open mouth??


----------



## not now

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 








<--me

Ha!


----------



## not now

Quote:


Originally Posted by *shanniesue2* 
An open mouth??









Yeah, I have no clue either. She's half crazy. That's why were friends.


----------



## Juliacat

Quote:


Originally Posted by *not now* 
Someone told The Man that we had to get rid of our cats since they "Steal the baby's air."

Oh! Oh yeah! Someone told dh and me that when I was pregnant!! The kicker? The person who told us that was a chain-smoker!!!!!

Which reminds me of other stupid things people said to me while I was pregnant: "Oh, you HAVE to find out the baby's gender. I would DIE if I didn't know!" Um, no, you wouldn't.


----------



## razzberry414

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KristyDi* 

3. So many of the previous generations have little or no personal experience with breast feeding that there's some kind of mental block about it. Kinda like how my very intelligent father can't seem to grasp when to double click with the mouse and a computer and when not to. He double clicks everything, every time, no matter how often I explain it.

Man this is making me crack up! My MIL does this and it drives me bonkers! I try to explain but she still does it...laughup


----------



## artgoddess

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Smokering* 
I know! It really threw me... I mean, what a weird thing to say. Baby kittens and puppies and so on don't drink water, do they? And we don't see them dehydrating all over the place. Plus, little Rowan isn't even back up to her birthweight yet--well, maybe she is, she's being weighed tomorrow--anyway she certainly isn't obese, so why would I want to fill her little tummy up with something which contains no nutrients or calories? Very odd...

I think this also can come from before MD's recommended breastfeeding for 6 months or longer before introducing foods. I was born in 1970, never had BM, in addition to formula I was given cereal at 2 weeks, via spoon. Water was thought to be important then.


----------



## Ravishing

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jessica_lizette* 
My DS is almost 4 months old, and we found out the other day that he has reflux. We're trying Zantac, and we're still working on how to give him his medicine without spitting it out.

I am also eliminating dairy from my diet for a while to see if that helps with his reflux.

Anyways, my mom was over last night when I was giving him his meds, and I had JUST finished telling her that I was going to try the no dairy thing. She was eating ice cream at the time (caramel and pecan), and saw that I was having a hard time getting DS to swallow his medicine. She offered to GIVE HIM SOME OF HER ICE CREAM to make him want to swallow his medicine! Yeah, lets give my 4 month old dairy AND nuts to make him feel better!










I think I posted a while back too that she wanted to give him some of her Mcdonalds oreo shake.

I just don't get it!

I went through a similar thing with my MIL. We went to her house for dinner and DS hadn't been diagnosed with reflux or colic yet. He was 7 weeks at the time. I was doing an elimination diet and explained to her several times that I was not having any dairy at all.

In the middle of dinner DH and I could see DS working up to a screaming fit (he would always make a little "warning" grunt before crying that DH and I came to recognize). I went over to pick him up and try to calm him before he got upset. DH's grandfather started lecturing me on how DS was spoiled and had me wrapped around his little finger. I was annoyed by this but let it go.

Sure enough, DS launched into a horrible screaming fit. I think it was one of his worst nights to date. I did everything I could to calm him. MIL kept insisting that I hand him over to her and go eat dessert. Previous to this I heard her announce that the dessert she had made contained cream cheese and sour cream. I did not want dessert, nor did I want to hand my child to her so I tried to be polite and decline. She kept insisting over and over again that I eat this dessert and give her my child who was completely out of his mind screaming at this point. Finally, I had to be rude and repeat how I wasn't having dairy and could not eat her dessert because it affected DS and made him scream like he was at that very moment. She got all upset at this and made a big production of hunting through her cabinets for something I could eat. She really didn't understand that dessert wasn't the issue at hand. DH and I left soon after. Arg!

I could go on and on about my MIL. When DS was 2 weeks old she called DH and TOLD him that she was coming to babysit that weekend because we needed a break from the baby. Um, no. We needed to be left alone so that we could bond as a family and rest.

The fact that we never let DS cry if it can be avoided really upsets her. One day she came over and was holding him. He was clearly hungry and desperately rooting. DH and I repeatedly said "he's hungry and looking for food". She ignored us as he tried latching onto her arm she laughed and said "there's no food in my sweater, silly". She WOULD NOT give him back.
DS got more and more upset and eventually started to cry. Once he really got going she looked at him and said "oh, so you really CAN cry" and then she handed him back to me so that I could feed him.
That evil woman ignored every indication that her grandchild was hungry JUST so that she could prove to herself that he could cry. He's a baby, duh. He knows how to cry.

Her current upset in life is that DS won't take a bottle which means that we can't leave him with her and go away for the weekend. He's 4 months old. We wouldn't leave him with her even if he did take a bottle.

Don't get me started on my FIL who bought our then 10 week old DS a bottle of honey for valentines day so that we can dip his pacifier in it as a treat. Where do I even BEGIN with that??


----------



## Bellabaz

sorry double post


----------



## Bellabaz

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CanidFL* 
I thought I would chime in since we are talking about babies not looking like the parents. DS does have traits from both of us but I am white and DH is black so he is tan with the best features from both of us. We were at the park one day and a random mom started talking to me and saying how cute DS was. I said thanks and continued to play with him. This is the conversation:

Her - Is he Spanish?
Me - no. I am white and My DH is black
Her - but his father is Spanish?
Me - no. My DH is black.
Her - Your DH must be mad he's not the father. That baby is Spanish.
Me - He is the father. I'm married and DH is the father and he is black.
Her - oh so you got married first then had a baby with your husband. That isn't normal.
Me - hmmmm (totally speechless)

I am still in awe at this conversation. It was about 3 weeks ago and I can't stop laughing about it.

That's crazy! I don't know what I would do.

I don't have anything that I can think of that is really outrageous. My dad's girlfriend was incredulous that I was still pumping at 10 months. She didn't think my body could make milk that long.

We have heard some silly things about bilingual babies. My partner is from Italy and so he only speaks in Italian to ds and I only in English. People (often medical people) say she will be confused and only teach her one at a time.
So many people will ask me if she understands both. I answer yes we speak to her in both. Oh so she will learn both languages? Yes it would probably be nice if she could communicate with both sides of the family don't you think?

DP mom always asks if dd eats and if she likes the babysitter. They call twice a freaking week! SHe has been going the the babysitter for almost a year and probably like sher more than she likes me some days. I really have to hold back syaing some smart answer back to that one.Yes we feed her.

For awhile when dd was 10 months or so, she would always ask if she ate meat. She doesn't like it and its really not important since she gets protein and iron from other things.

Every time she calls she asks if we took dd to the doctor. DP is like NO we don't take her to the doctor just for sake of going. She is not ill and we haven't gone! DD has been walking for 2 months and literally every phone call she asks if dd is walking. It is all I can do not to answer, no she was for a while but we told her to stop.


----------



## LiLStar

I got a doozy today, from dh of all people. Earlier today, dd choked on a piece of mango. She was fine, and I had her out of her high chair and upside down on my lap and she threw it up before I even registered what I was doing. It was just an automatic instinct driven response. Earlier tonight, dh was playing with her and said she needed her nose wiped, and since I was in the kitchen right next to the tissues, I was about to bring him one for her. But first, I was getting her a little bit of vitamin c to help fight off her cold. So I give her that, then go back to get the tissue. Then he complains that I "don't have the same sense of urgency" to hurry and wipe her nose than I do to stop her choking. Yes, really. He had trouble understanding why I immediately jumped to rescue dd from a *life threatening emergency* but might dawdle an extra 30 seconds to wipe her nose. (Its not like it was dripping into her mouth or anything)


----------



## HQ Fishkiller

I was in the grocery store one day and DD who was 6 m/o at the time was sucking her thumb. A woman who I had never met before witnessed her sucking her thumb and started telling me to put quinine on it (bitter) to make her stop sucking her thumb because it would ruin her pallatte. I told the woman that she has never sucked her thumb consistently enough to ruin her pallatte and if she can sooth herself by doing that then I wasn't going to stop her. I then turned around and walked away.


----------



## St. Margaret

Ravishing, I don't think I'd EVER leave my child with those ILs if they were mine!!! YIKES is all I can say.

Okay, not as good as some of these, but last week at the botanical gardens I was helping DD walk around (she's 11mo and can walk with just a light touch on my finger), and another mom or nanny (ya never know around here) was asking about her, and said that it was "time to get some hard bottomed shoes so she can get a balance." Hmmm. I just smiled and said "huh." We'll be doing Robeez and the like for a long while yet, thank you!







I don't know if she was just totally out of the current info on this, or if she was really a nanny (or even grandma?) and therefore wasn't reading up on it, but soft soles are really common around here.


----------



## artgoddess

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MySweetSunlight* 
A nurse at the neurologist's looking at Sunshine in my lap and her sister running around on the floor-
"So sad, you can see the child your daughter would've been."









WTF!!! I am so angry at that woman for you.


----------



## jessica_lizette




----------



## Harmony96

8 pages already! I didn't even know until today that the old one had been locked. lol

Just posting to sub.







Thankfully, I don't have anything to contribute right now.


----------



## Onemagicmummy

its nto completely dumb but jsut lack of understanding

m y mum cam up 2 saturdays ago to drop of my sister and pick up my great aunt to take her for a visit to mums place.
we went out for a meal on the sunday. i took my Ergo, DD HATES the car seat but tolerated it for the trip. i KNEW she was tired btu when we got out the car it was raining and i forgot her coat (didnt put it on its a puffy/bit to big coat and i remembered summat i read here about not putting on a puffy/to big coat on in a car seat,) so i bundled baby in her blanky and made a dash for the reasturant.
got there and had to wait a bit and DD was getting drowsy so i asked my mum for the car keys to get the Ergo
convo went a bit like this
Me:" can i have the car keys, Evies getting tired and i want to get the carrier"
Mum" you cant wear that and eat"
Me: " Yes, I can"
Mum "well bring in her car seat"
Me: "she hates it and wont sleep in it"
Mum "you cant sit to eat with her in that thing"
Me "yes, i can"
so she gave me keys, i got Ergo, in went DD, DD went to sleep,
some dinners came out, my 20 yr old brother was eating his and asked me
"are you going to take her out while you eat"
Me: "err no, wherer would put her shes asleep"
yeas i managed to eat with her in and only took her out to put her back in car seat.
when mum came back a week later to get my sister my DD was having (and still is) a clingy i only want mummy stage, well these people are strangers to her. so i poped her in the Ergo adn was doing oK but mum was like "alaan giver her a hand shes gonna drop the baby" i was FINE.
my mum doesnt understand Co-Sleeping, and babywearing past 3 months, she wore my brother as a tiny baby but not as an older baby and didnt BF past 3 month.
tahts jsut my mum, i lvoe ehr but i will no longer have discussions about my parenting
Kiz


----------



## joeymama

I was wearing my 8mo on my back in the ergo at a grocery store, I had tojog across the store to get my husbands wallet to pay my dd was laughing at the jiggling she was getting, some lady started yelling at me to "stop running, your baby is going to fall out" this is my 3rd child to ride on my back in an ergo I havent lost one yet. is that why people carry their babies in their car seats into stores , safety?

next day I was at a birthday party and I had a mom tell me that their are scientific studies that say sugar doesnt have an affect on kids!!!! what , huh what about type 2 DIABETIES? what about obesiety? not to mention the emotional soaring leading to the crash landing of a sugared up 3yo.

last one I swear , while planning a water birth with my 2nd my grandfather was truly concerned the baby would drown at birth if born into the water.


----------



## MummaLitt

Was talking to my mom on Yahoo the other day. I'll actually cut and paste the convo so I don't mis-quote her....

Allyson: i'm also delaying solids and doing baby-led self-feeding & baby-led weening
Mom: be interesting to see how that goes
Allyson: i figure when we have dinner, we sit him in the highchair with some soft carrots, potatoes and other mushy stuff that he can mash in his hair
ajoseph_21: eventually he'll find his mouth
Mom: yep
Allyson: just think that's better then forcing a spoon in his mouth
Mom: i think eventually you will have to
Mom: he isn't going to suddenly be able to handle a spoon himself!

Convo ended pretty much right after that. I was sitting here saying to myself "WHAT!?" My mom is usually very "go at the baby's pace...he'll do it when he's ready" type of mom so this kinda struck me stupid.


----------



## KaliShanti

Quote:

Oh and so I say something on topic: My GMIL swears her milk turned to water when her daughter was 5 months old and I need to keep an eye out in case it happens to me. She truly believes her breasts stopped producing milk and started producing water.
I am dying laughing!!







:


----------



## diamond lil

Pregnancy related: My DH and I vacationed in the Dominican Republic last week. I was informed by a couple we were chatting with that I could endanger my baby by swimming in the ocean. I explained that I had been swimming in the ocean all week, to which the lady-half of the couple replied, "Now you should go swim in the pool so the chlorine can kill the germs you picked up in the ocean."








:


----------



## Mommy2Austin

Oh I forgot a lovely gem from the archives of dumb things my family says:

My nephew was a few months old and my sister wanted to give him a bath in the tub. My BIL told her she couldn't give him a bath because he would suck water up his butt.

And no I'm not making this up







:


----------



## In Exile

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mommy2Austin* 
Oh I forgot a lovely gem from the archives of dumb things my family says:

My nephew was a few months old and my sister wanted to give him a bath in the tub. My BIL told her she couldn't give him a bath because he would suck water up his butt.

And no I'm not making this up







:

Damn it, why didn't anybody tell me this before??? Now it's too late and all that water went up his butt for 13 months. But finally somebody enlightened me so I don't have to die stupid! ROFL


----------



## Mommy2Austin

Quote:


Originally Posted by *In Exile* 
Damn it, why didn't anybody tell me this before??? Now it's too late and all that water went up his butt for 13 months. But finally somebody enlightened me so I don't have to die stupid! ROFL

Yeah I couldn't figure out why Ive spent over half my life so fat! I'm retaining bathwater


----------



## shanniesue2

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mommy2Austin* 
Oh I forgot a lovely gem from the archives of dumb things my family says:

My nephew was a few months old and my sister wanted to give him a bath in the tub. My BIL told her she couldn't give him a bath because he would suck water up his butt.

And no I'm not making this up







:









:







:







:


----------



## hazelmama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mommy2Austin* 
Oh I forgot a lovely gem from the archives of dumb things my family says:

My nephew was a few months old and my sister wanted to give him a bath in the tub. My BIL told her she couldn't give him a bath because he would suck water up his butt.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mommy2Austin* 
Yeah I couldn't figure out why Ive spent over half my life so fat! I'm retaining bathwater


----------



## Nicole_ac

This is such an entertaining thread!


----------



## sapphire_chan




----------



## paquerette

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HQ Fishkiller* 
I was in the grocery store one day and DD who was 6 m/o at the time was sucking her thumb. A woman who I had never met before witnessed her sucking her thumb and started telling me to put quinine on it (bitter) to make her stop sucking her thumb because it would ruin her pallatte.

Well sure, quinine is real safe for babies.







http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quinine


----------



## greenmagick

I dont know if I already posted this or not but....when dd was around 6 months we were shopping at a Farmers Market. A little old lady came up to admire dd and then noticed she was hiccuping....."she's awful young to be hiccuping, is she allright?"

I dont remember my response as I was sort of shocked. She was really worried! I muttered something about her being fine and walked away.


----------



## veganone

Quote:


Originally Posted by *artgoddess* 
I think this also can come from before MD's recommended breastfeeding for 6 months or longer before introducing foods. I was born in 1970, never had BM, in addition to formula I was given cereal at 2 weeks, via spoon. Water was thought to be important then.

The water thing is for ffed babes. Even the Sears' Baby Book recommends water for babies who are 100% ffed - they need a bottle of water a day. So, all of our mom's who ffed us were all told that water was important. My mom, who is super supportive of my bfing and used to come over to hold DD when I was pumping all the time for triple feeding, still wonders when we should give her water.

I







this thread!!!


----------



## chickenfeet

I finally have one! Today a woman asked me if DD didn't like shoes (she was just in socks). I told her she didn't really have an opinion of them yet; we're at home 90% of the time, her feet are really too chubby for most shoes, etc. etc. I don't know why I even explained myself, I'm just chatty.

Anyway, she gasped in a very concerned way and said "oh, you've got to get her in shoes! Otherwise she'll be walking with bare feet!"

Um, okay. So before the time of shoes no one learned to walk?


----------



## ernalala

My boys are 22 months apart almost TWO years, one is short and the other shorter , they look a bit like one another but really they do look different, they're re in a different developmental stage, they even wear different clothes hehe. That seems very visible to me!
And believe it or not, I cannot recount the times someone's been asking 'are they TWINS?'







:
I can just tempt the urge to say 'are YOU stupid?'


----------



## KaliShanti

Quote:

My nephew was a few months old and my sister wanted to give him a bath in the tub. My BIL told her she couldn't give him a bath because he would suck water up his butt.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mommy2Austin View Post
Yeah I couldn't figure out why Ive spent over half my life so fat! I'm retaining bathwater
[/QUOTE]








I died laughing!!


----------



## ernalala

Just a random meeting with another new mom in the streets. She was feeding her 4-5 monther petit danone from a spoon on the go. Don't know how conversation started but (about me exclusively bf my then 6m old) came to say (because drs. have 'authority' in this country







(Tr)) 'It's on Doctor's orders'








And she replied (about feeding Danone to her small baby): 'It's on doctor's orders TOO!'.









Hb and I turned around to continue our way and hide our faces...


----------



## ernalala

Or:

''Isn't baby COLD in sling?''







:, ''pleeeease, we're sweating!''


----------



## amberskyfire

This from an ex coworker who I could not STAND.

One day at work she was boasting to our other coworkers that she knew the best parenting trick to keep teenage girls from getting pregnant. She said that when her daughter was eleven or twelve, she had another baby (my coworker, not her daughter). She boasted

"When the baby was born, I made my daughter completely take care of the baby all by herself. She had to change all of the diapers, do all of the feedings, even at night, and I didn't have to lift a finger the whole time. I told her that's what having a baby is like and she'd better not get pregnant as a teenager. That's how you teach girls not to get pregnant when they are young. It'll ruin your childhood."

I was absolutely HORRIFIED at this woman. For one thing, it's horrible to teach children that having kids is a punishment. For another, it was HER baby, not her daughter's baby. Her daughter didn't decide to have the baby, SHE did, which makes the baby MOM's responsibility, not the daughter's.

And for GOODNESS' SAKE, the daughter never got pregnant, so why on earth would you punish her in advance for something she's never even done? Ruin her childhood? Yeah, it ruins your childhood. She ruined her daughter's childhood and made that poor kid raise a child she never got pregnant with and never wanted almost on her own and even have to get up for the night feedings while HAVING TO GO TO SCHOOL!

And that, I believe, is the most messed up parenting advice I've ever heard.

And our coworkers' responses on hearing this little bit of advice? They all agreed that she was some kind of genius and would all be doing that with their daughters if they had any.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chickenfeet* 
"oh, you've got to get her in shoes! Otherwise she'll be walking with bare feet!"

Horrors!

Or, you know, not:
http://nymag.com/health/features/46213/


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
This from an ex coworker who I could not STAND.

One day at work she was boasting to our other coworkers that she knew the best parenting trick to keep teenage girls from getting pregnant. She said that when her daughter was eleven or twelve, she had another baby (my coworker, not her daughter). She boasted

"When the baby was born, I made my daughter completely take care of the baby all by herself. She had to change all of the diapers, do all of the feedings, even at night, and I didn't have to lift a finger the whole time. I told her that's what having a baby is like and she'd better not get pregnant as a teenager. That's how you teach girls not to get pregnant when they are young. It'll ruin your childhood."

I was absolutely HORRIFIED at this woman. For one thing, it's horrible to teach children that having kids is a punishment. For another, it was HER baby, not her daughter's baby. Her daughter didn't decide to have the baby, SHE did, which makes the baby MOM's responsibility, not the daughter's.

And for GOODNESS' SAKE, the daughter never got pregnant, so why on earth would you punish her in advance for something she's never even done? Ruin her childhood? Yeah, it ruins your childhood. She ruined her daughter's childhood and made that poor kid raise a child she never got pregnant with and never wanted almost on her own and even have to get up for the night feedings while HAVING TO GO TO SCHOOL!

And that, I believe, is the most messed up parenting advice I've ever heard.

And our coworkers' responses on hearing this little bit of advice? They all agreed that she was some kind of genius and would all be doing that with their daughters if they had any.










Pardon me while I throw up.
I'm afraid that I would've said something like "actually, what she learned is that her mother is a manipulative UAV who's too







: lazy to take care of her own children. When you never get to see your grand kids because your daughter's not talking to you--that's why."


----------



## ernalala

Someone mentioned that I'd gained weight again. I said, proudly, 'There is a reason!' (was 4m pregnant so people would notice soon enough . So I happily announced that I was pregnant of my second child (my first was 18 months at the time), and got to hear: '' Are you going to KEEP it?'...

This woman's been really tactful







with some other comments too. She's not a bad/unsympathetic woman, but I did decide I won't trust her with confident information ever since I already get unwelcome remarks without even telling anything and definitely not sure what she'd 'confide' to others bout me.


----------



## Hippie Mama in MI

Three more shining moments of stupidity:

1. While wearing my ds in a sling, I stopped to speak with a formaer coworker. She said to my ds, "Poor baby! Doesn't she ever let you move?"

No, I keep him in the sling night and day at home, too. He never, like, plays with toys on the floor or anything. That would be stupid.

2. This weekend I hosted a barbecue for my friends and family, and ds was wound up and resisting his naptime (very loudly). My father is a bit "out there" and often grabs ds from me when he cries, carrying him away because I apparently don't know how to comfort my own kid, right? This drives me crazy... So anyway, while I'm lying down with ds trying to sing him to sleep for his nap, my dad comes into my bedroom without knocking, bends over the bed and says, "Gimme that baby." I almost punched him out. I said, "It's not a good time, grandpa."

3. Another thing my strange father said at the same barbecue. My son was headed for the back door of our house, which was standing open on the steep cement basement steps beyond it. I jumped up and started to run after ds and Dad actually said, "Sit down, he's fine, he's having fun."

That time I barked, "It's MY kid, Dad!"


----------



## CanidFL

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ernalala* 
Someone mentioned that I'd gained weight again. I said, proudly, 'There is a reason!' (was 4m pregnant so people would notice soon enough . So I happily announced that I was pregnant of my second child (my first was 18 months at the time), and got to hear: '' Are you going to KEEP it?'...

EEEW I can't believe she said that!! That is outrageous. I remember telling all my co workers I was pregnant (at different times depending on how well I knew them). There were 7 people in my group and 5 of them asked "was it planned?"


----------



## Onemagicmummy

i gotb one the other day. evie was asleep in Ergo, some woman in the school yard asked me "how do you know she's alright in there" and looked at me like i was crazy when i said "well i can feel her breathing against my back, there is a gap between me n her shes not flat against me" she looked like she didnt get it.

i am only one i knpow to babywear longterm(Evie is 7 month and will be carried for a while to come)

kiz


----------



## amberskyfire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Onemagicmummy* 
i gotb one the other day. evie was asleep in Ergo, some woman in the school yard asked me "how do you know she's alright in there" and looked at me like i was crazy when i said "well i can feel her breathing against my back, there is a gap between me n her shes not flat against me" she looked like she didnt get it.

i am only one i knpow to babywear longterm(Evie is 7 month and will be carried for a while to come)

kiz

Heh, how do you know if your baby is okay in the back of the car in a rear-facing seat? You can hear them breathing, of course!


----------



## MummaLitt

ILs went to visit our niece who is abt 4mo. Upon returning...

FIL: That little girl has a temper on her.
MIL: Yeah, she's gonna have to be trained out of that before it gets out of control.


----------



## livenlearn

My MIL told my DH that our 3 week old eats too much so we need to put her on Formula


----------



## staceycanada

My sister in law said she had to stop nursing her baby and give it formula because........... she( my sister in law) was allergic to her own let down reflex. AUGGGG!


----------



## Onemagicmummy

i went out yesterday anbd was in a dept. store looking st sewing notions and patterns abd such. 3 people all asked about DD2 " can she breath in there" " is she ok in there" she was fast asleep one lady took it upon her s elf to check DD was breathing, umm yeah lady shes FINE. in same trip DS2 got mistaken for a girl twice!

not dumb parenting advice but i was in an lift with a nun(she was one who asked if DS2 was a girl or boy)

Kiz


----------



## amberskyfire

ARGH! I can't stand when people tell me that I need to pierce my 6-week-old baby's ears so that everyone will be able to tell she is a girl.

I'm NOT against other parents piercing their own babies' ears, but my own personal opinion is that it's not my place to go punching holes in my child for cosmetic reasons, especially since those reasons would be my own and not hers.

It's HER body and I'm not going to go poking holes in her and sticking in jewelry just so that some stranger will be able to tell by looking at her that she's a girl







:


----------



## FREEmom1120

We rarely put shoes on dd, but we went to a wedding on Saturday so I put some cute sandals on her. Everyone was saying how cute they were. One childless person told me I needed to put shoes on her as much as possible now or she'll NEVER wear them.









They really were insanely cute though.


----------



## LiLStar

I was at this dollar store, getting ovulation predictor kits, and my dh was checking out while I was looking at something. I heard the cashier, a middle aged woman, telling dh something, and went over to join him. then she says, "oh! is that your wife?" then to me, "I was just telling him that after you 'have the fun' that he should have you put your legs in the air for a while".. er, okay. Isn't that a bizarre thing to say to a complete stranger?


----------



## CherryBomb

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LiLStar* 
I was at this dollar store, getting ovulation predictor kits, and my dh was checking out while I was looking at something. I heard the cashier, a middle aged woman, telling dh something, and went over to join him. then she says, "oh! is that your wife?" then to me, "I was just telling him that after you 'have the fun' that he should have you put your legs in the air for a while".. er, okay. Isn't that a bizarre thing to say to a complete stranger?











Well, supposedly putting your legs up does increase your chances of conceiving!

When dd1 was a little toddler (like 18 months old!) I went to put her in the shopping cart and her leg got pinched and she started wailing. Some lady walking by told me I should smack her! She just thought she was throwing a fit, but so what if she was?!

I've also been told by people to get my tubes tied.









Someone told me with dd1 when we still used disposables to buy diapers a size too big so we only had to change her once or twice a day.


----------



## CherryBomb

Oh, and I was 18 when I got pregnant with dd1 and I got the "are you keeping it?" question all the time. It was so rude. I always said yes and people could be really rude about it.


----------



## CanidFL

Quote:


Originally Posted by *staceycanada* 
My sister in law said she had to stop nursing her baby and give it formula because........... she( my sister in law) was allergic to her own let down reflex. AUGGGG!









:


----------



## Mommy2Austin

Quote:


Originally Posted by *livenlearn* 














My MIL told my DH that our 3 week old eats too much so we need to put her on Formula









Haven't you seen the new Formula ads?

Enfamil/Similac/GoodStart

Slimfast for babies!


----------



## AurorasMommy

Not sure if anyone has said this one, I didnt go through yet and read all the threads, so if it was said sorry









My husbands grandmother would not leave us alone when I had my first child who is now almost 3!!! My first daughter had a lot of health issues and his grandmother always said:

"Well its because you dont dress her warm enough!" or "You leave her on the floor on that playmate, and she catches a draft and gets sick!"

BTW, my daughter was having seizures (reaction from vaccinations) Rotovirus, Pnemonia, and numerous colds, and ear infections.....

She actually went as far as buying her a snowsuit and in August wanted her to wear it... because it wasnt TOO warm out, A SNOWSUIT!!!!!

When I told her that I would let my daughter run around the house naked ALL THE TIME, you could see she was SO WORRIED that she wasnt WARM ENOUGH!

OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!

So I finally had to send her an article I got out of a parenting mag about old WIVES TALES on children! She hasnt commented about my children being warm or sick again! THANK GOODNESS!

Megan


----------



## AurorasMommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CanidFL* 







:


WOW THAT IS A GOOD ONE!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## veronicalynne

When we had our 1st dd, one of my husbands brilliant friends told him to let our newborn (4 days old) baby cry on the floor "She will eventually stop".......needless to say, I set my husband straight and now he always has to pick up a baby who is crying. He admits the crying "hurts" him....sounds like me


----------



## Hippie Mama in MI

:

I love this thread.


----------



## slf

DS was 10weeks old and cluster feeding like it was going out of style.... MIL suggested i give him a bottle of warm water to fill him up so he wouldn't nurse so much!


----------



## treqi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Irishmommy* 
I don't see a resemblance between them, but there is nothing there at all to scream "couldn't be the father". Ds has awesome eyes!

he totally has his dads nose and ears.... he is one cute little boy


----------



## AoifesMom

Regarding my then 3 month old baby, "You can't be expected to keep getting up in the middle of the night. You MUST Ferberize that baby. It did a world of good for my baby." From a man who's daughter now has severe emotional and behavioral problems.


----------



## jsnv

When my ds got his first tooth at 6 months my MIL told me it was time to wean him and give him things like fish to eat.

Also when he was really young she told me that I should put him in the sun to take naps so his skin can toughen up.


----------



## minkajane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jsnv* 
Also when he was really young she told me that I should put him in the sun to take naps so his skin can toughen up.

I have a baby book from 1969 and one of the things it emphasizes is that babies must be laid in the sun from the age of several weeks old, increasing in length to 30 minutes twice a day at (I think) six months.

It's a CRAZY book. I'll see if I can dig up a link to the thread where I posted the nuttiest stuff if anybody wants to see it.


----------



## nolonger

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
I have a baby book from 1969 and one of the things it emphasizes is that babies must be laid in the sun from the age of several weeks old, increasing in length to 30 minutes twice a day at (I think) six months.

It's a CRAZY book. I'll see if I can dig up a link to the thread where I posted the nuttiest stuff if anybody wants to see it.

I would LOVE to see it! i was born in '65. my mother used to put me in a soundproof room "so your crying wouldn't disturb Sis" and I STILL have weird nightmares about the ceiling.


----------



## hollyvangogh

Finally read all the posts in the two separate threads! Feels like quite the accomplishment.
Subbing now!

My brother in law and I have had fun coming up with all the things I'm "doing for two" now that I'm pregnant. It's all joking so not to be taken seriously. But there have been some funny ones...being cranky for two, sleeping for two, etc.

When I told my mom I was pregnant she told me to make sure I take prenatal vitamins and omega-3. I told her I had been for a while and she said "Oh, so this was planned?" She really wanted me to finish my degree first so I wasn't really upset that she said it. She's actually pretty cute, always asking if I'm doing this or that and how I'm feeling.

Can't wait to see what kinds of comments I get once everyone else knows I'm expecting (only 6 weeks today).


----------



## Ruthie's momma

Quote:


Originally Posted by *spmamma* 
DH and I had met friends for dinner tonight and we were all standing outside the restaurant afterward. A lady looked at DD who was playing on the ground and said to me, "No socks?!"

We live in California. It was over 60 degrees out. She wasn't cold. I said, "It's okay."

Lady: "But it's cold. She should be wearing socks."
Me: "It's not cold. She's fine."










I received a similar comment from an older women while out and about with my little one...this was a really warm fall day...pushing 70 degrees!


----------



## Ruthie's momma

Quote:


Originally Posted by *avalanchelynn* 
i don't know about this being the dumbest, but it was most annoying to me









"this baby shouldn't be so attached to you, she's too close to you" - courtesy of mil...

total screwball, wtf of a remark..

My MIL has told me this on more than one occasion! It is usually followed by something about how getting away from my baby would be good for me?!?!? I first received these comments when my DD was less than a month old...and I am still hearing them several months later!


----------



## mamalisa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
I have a baby book from 1969 and one of the things it emphasizes is that babies must be laid in the sun from the age of several weeks old, increasing in length to 30 minutes twice a day at (I think) six months.

It's a CRAZY book. I'll see if I can dig up a link to the thread where I posted the nuttiest stuff if anybody wants to see it.

Ds was pretty jaundiced and ended up back in the hospital to be under the billi lights when he was a newborn. The dr told me when I took him home to put him in front of a sunny window (it was December) for a bit every day to help flush the rest of the bili out. I'm not sure if it worked or not, but I did it and he improved pretty fast.


----------



## dubfam

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
I have a baby book from 1969 and one of the things it emphasizes is that babies must be laid in the sun from the age of several weeks old, increasing in length to 30 minutes twice a day at (I think) six months.

It's a CRAZY book. I'll see if I can dig up a link to the thread where I posted the nuttiest stuff if anybody wants to see it.

Ooohhhh...please post the link...pretty please?







:


----------



## minkajane

Found it! Here you go. Some of it's funny, but some of it is just plain scary.


----------



## the elyse

WOW. i don't know what to say to that!


----------



## fresh_water

I can't think of any doozies at the moment, but I know I've heard them. I just tend to tune them out.









I'm just sitting here thinking that I hope I never said any of that stuff in talking to parents before I had kids.







:


----------



## Lizzardbits

nak.

we spent all day yesterday with my in-laws. Alex is teething like mad right now and the entire day, MIL was adamant that we give Alex a pork chop BONE to teethe on because she was given a pork chop bone to gum when she was a baby.

my hubby said that if she ever did try to give Alex a bone of anysort, he'd slap it out of her hand so quick she wouldn't know what happened--yay hubby! i didn't say anything to her because i know that she'll never be left alone with alex anyway.


----------



## dubfam

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
Found it! Here you go. Some of it's funny, but some of it is just plain scary.


Thanks!!
That was hilarious and horrifying all at the same time!

My DH was born in 1970, traumatic birth (forceps etc)...it makes me wonder if this is how he and his mother (who was only 19) were treated.

WOW a lot can change in 40 years!!!

I had to give that thread a bump!!


----------



## nolonger

yea, that 1969 book brings back some less than pleasant memories; i was instructed to "playpen train" a six month old i babysat when i was 13, which would have been 1978. he wasn't crawling yet or even sitting up by himself much, but i was supposed to put him in the playpen in front of a teevee, turn on sesame street, and leave the room.

the part about comfort nursing being a "waste of time" kind of explains the earliest stupidest advice i got from my own mother, who was actually fartly crunchy for her time-unmedicated hospital births for herself and later pro-homebirth and not shocked by UC, although she doesn't know i had one three weeks before my 43rd birthday, and she nursed Sis a full year and me for 18 months. Mom seemed very happy and excited to impart a family secret and share the wisdom of her experience when she told me to stick a pacifier in dd's mouth within hours of her birth and make sure she sucked on it every day whether she wanted to or not "so she doesn't suck her thumb".

after i told Mom thanks but no thanks for the advice and listened to her tales of how hard it had been to break Sis of the habit of sucking her thumb and how easy it had been to throw my paci away (i don't even remember my paci), practically every conversation about parenting we had would begin with Mom grumbling, "i don't know why you want her to suck her thumb but i tried and tried to talk some sense into you and you refused to listen so...."

none of my kids has ever sucked their thumb.

it was easier with my favourite grandmother, whose advice actually belongs on a BEST thing anyone has ever said to you about parenting stuff thread. Gran was a writer with an excellent eye for detail and a memory that just wouldn't quit, so i could practically see the young mother she had once been sitting on one side of a closed door crying and looking at her watch waiting for the scheduled time when the doctors said she could retrieve her baby from the crib on the other side of the closed door and hold him while she gave him his bottle. her instinct battled with the "scientific" advice given by her doctor and his insistance that the baby would be completely ruined if the 23 year old girl disobeyed his orders.

Gran followed doctor's orders, lived to regret it, and the only advice she ever gave about her great-grandchildren's upbringing was to follow my heart and realize that childrearing advice comes and goes. she became very pro-AP (or always was but didn't have a name for it) and never tired of listening to my reasons and research and serving as a sounding board when i needed to talk things through to come to my own conclusions.


----------



## NettleTea

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jezzy* 
she is *MY* baby I wish they would leave me the heck alone!!!

Say that to them! You don't need to put up with that. You can hold *your* baby as much as you want to.


----------



## queenjulie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AoifesMom* 
Regarding my then 3 month old baby, "You can't be expected to keep getting up in the middle of the night. You MUST Ferberize that baby. It did a world of good for my baby." From a man who's daughter now has severe emotional and behavioral problems.

Jesus. Not only is that insane, but even Dr. Ferber would tell that guy he's nuts! If you actually read Ferber's book, he clearly, repeatedly says that you should never, ever try to make a baby younger then six months try to sleep through the night. And I'm pretty sure he's said in several interviews that he hates the term "Ferberizing."


----------



## luvmy2grls

Oh there are just so many.... Hubs cant stand it cause he rides the train with these yuppy looking parents, and all they can talk about is how they are ferberizing their two month olds and stuff.. he says he is tempted to turn around and tell them to read the no cry sleep solution.

The school nurse gave me grief cause she said my oldest needed a vax or she would be expeled, that in CT they do that vax at 4, I always heard 6 and that was when we planed to do it (we selectivly delay but she had them all by kindergarden) so I told her we were waiting till 6 that it was not safe to give it to them that young.. she turns around and says "well all the other kids here got it at 4 and they survived" great so hopefully she will just survive it,, nice.

The best is my home birth and the "what if something happens?"

like my midwife doesnt come equiped for a situation or something, I always say.. what if I go to the hospital and they force pitocen on me, then something will happen and I will not be able to live with myself when I know that is the reason why something went wrong.

a few days ago "you have to let newborns cry cause it is good for their lungs, if you don't their lungs will be all weak for life"


----------



## ashleyhaugh

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lizzardbits* 
nak.

we spent all day yesterday with my in-laws. Alex is teething like mad right now and the entire day, MIL was adamant that we give Alex a pork chop BONE to teethe on because she was given a pork chop bone to gum when she was a baby.

my hubby said that if she ever did try to give Alex a bone of anysort, he'd slap it out of her hand so quick she wouldn't know what happened--yay hubby! i didn't say anything to her because i know that she'll never be left alone with alex anyway.

my mom gave us porkchop bones to teethe on, and we've given ds a pork chop bone once, and a couple of chicken bones, and he loves to chew on them, they taste good, and he sucks all of the good stuff out, lol


----------



## baschabad

My husbands Russian family has a hard time understanding all our 'strange' parenting ideas. His siblings are very receptive but his parents just don't get the new fangled notions of raising kids. They always want to know why I don't give DD water. I think my MIL is just excited to feed her, she said she can't wait until I start giving her applesauce, (she's 3 mo's.)

It was great though when DH's grandmother and another lady were discussing how I feed her so often, when doctors used to tell them "wait 3 hours between feeds- let baby cry."
The lady comments- "But you know, these babies are so much happier.."


----------



## NettleTea

Quote:


Originally Posted by *staceycanada* 
My sister in law said she had to stop nursing her baby and give it formula because........... she( my sister in law) was allergic to her own let down reflex. AUGGGG!

I'll bet she was talking about how the breast gets itchy sometimes during letdown. ...Or is that obvious already?


----------



## NettleTea

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamalisa* 
Ds was pretty jaundiced and ended up back in the hospital to be under the billi lights when he was a newborn. The dr told me when I took him home to put him in front of a sunny window (it was December) for a bit every day to help flush the rest of the bili out. I'm not sure if it worked or not, but I did it and he improved pretty fast.

It probably did work as sunlight and breastmilk (breastfeeding) are both very good remedies for jaundice.


----------



## bvnms

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
This from an ex coworker who I could not STAND.

One day at work she was boasting to our other coworkers that she knew the best parenting trick to keep teenage girls from getting pregnant. She said that when her daughter was eleven or twelve, she had another baby (my coworker, not her daughter). She boasted

"When the baby was born, I made my daughter completely take care of the baby all by herself. She had to change all of the diapers, do all of the feedings, even at night, and I didn't have to lift a finger the whole time. I told her that's what having a baby is like and she'd better not get pregnant as a teenager. That's how you teach girls not to get pregnant when they are young. It'll ruin your childhood."

I was absolutely HORRIFIED at this woman. For one thing, it's horrible to teach children that having kids is a punishment. For another, it was HER baby, not her daughter's baby. Her daughter didn't decide to have the baby, SHE did, which makes the baby MOM's responsibility, not the daughter's.

And for GOODNESS' SAKE, the daughter never got pregnant, so why on earth would you punish her in advance for something she's never even done? Ruin her childhood? Yeah, it ruins your childhood. She ruined her daughter's childhood and made that poor kid raise a child she never got pregnant with and never wanted almost on her own and even have to get up for the night feedings while HAVING TO GO TO SCHOOL!

And that, I believe, is the most messed up parenting advice I've ever heard.

And our coworkers' responses on hearing this little bit of advice? They all agreed that she was some kind of genius and would all be doing that with their daughters if they had any.










I wonder if my mom knew this woman? This is pretty much what happened to me except I had to quit school.

Some of my own...
When Steph was about a month or so old, an aunt of mine who I hadn't seen for a few years asked me if *that* was mine. I was breastfeeding while she was standing there talking to me.









When I was pregnant with Melly, an older lady told Steph to tell me to get my tubes tied.














I was quick to tell this person that when or if I get my tubes tied it was nobody's business but my own and I would not be consulting my children on that matter.

When Steph was a few months old, my grandmother gave her cereal while I was taking a shower and constantly pushed me to give her a laxative because she was grunting when she would have a messy diaper.
















I do have a bit of a weird family. Sometimes I have to wonder if I was adopted but I look too much like my mom for that to be the case.


----------



## aurora_skys

well my baby is still on the inside but i have had some dumb things said to me...

about my miscarriage:
from my mom "well next time you'll eat more folic acid, wont you."

from my neighbor, in a very authoritative voice (she mistaken believes that she knows everything and, incidentally, has never miscarried) "they could have stopped it if you'd gone to hospital. As soon as you started bleeding you should have gone to the hospital." Yes, wonderful thing to tell a newlywed who's just lost her honeymoon baby... I miscarried at 6 weeks, wtf did she think a hospital could do with that?!? It just makes me mad that Americans are so woefully uninformed about miscarriage. Everyone but my husband acted like it was my fault!









about my next pregnancy:
from same neighbor "It's ok to smoke. I quit smoking through half of dd2's pregnancy and she only weighed a few ounces more (than dd1 who was smoked through) so all that stuff about smoking is crap." and, holding her hands about 2 feet apart "when you're stretched out _this wide_ you'll be screaming for the epidural!"
lol I havent told her that I will be having the baby in the house!

The ob office gave me formula so i asked my formula feeding friends if they wanted it for their 10 month old and they said "no, we just feed him _organic cows milk_ now." What?! Like the organic meant it was complete nutrition for a 10 mo old? They also said "You should keep it just in case." So that formula got thrown away immediately.









And my mil telling me that leaking breasts at 15 weeks meant "something was wrong" and that I should have them checked for an infection lol. Good grief.


----------



## HappyFox05

aurora_skys, you need several big hugs





















, and I would like your neighbor's address so I can punch her.

Ok, JK about punching. But what a UA violation.


----------



## aurora_skys

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HappyFox05* 
aurora_skys, you need several big hugs





















, and I would like your neighbor's address so I can punch her.

Ok, JK about punching. But what a UA violation.

yea, i was speechless and just went inside the house. loking back im just baffled that anyone would think thats appropriate to say









i love this thread tho bc we get to vent


----------



## Smokering

*sigh* My FIL commented the other day, 'Of course you'll eventually have to supplement'. 'Er, why?', I said, wondering if he could conceivably be referring to tandem nursing or something which might vaguely justify the thought. He said 'Well, when she gets bigger'. I said 'Well no, supply increases with demand, so when she needs more milk my body will make it'. 'But what about when she's on semi-solids?' (Huh?) 'Well, she can be on semi-solids... _and_ breastmilk...?'

The conversation sort of petered out there. I still don't see what he was getting at with the semi-solids thing.

Oh, and the inlaws and DH and I all had a weird convo about water-only hair washing the other day. DH, who occasionally doesn't know when to not say things, mentioned that people keep giving us baby shampoo and we don't need it. So of course they said 'No no, keep it, you'll need it when she gets bigger'. DH said 'No, we're not planning to use shampoo on her, like, ever'.
They: 'Well, you'll have to eventually'.
DH: 'Why? I don't'.
They (a little startled, glancing at his hair and finding it disappointingly clean): '..But that's different. She's a ba-- (realising that being a baby was a rather idiotic reason) --she's a girl'.
DH: 'Well, Sarah doesn't'.
They (giving me and my hip-length hair an even more shocked look): 'Then... what _do_ you use?'
DH: 'Water'.
Me (trying to soften the blow, as it were): 'Well, I sometimes use herbs and things... oil, honey, tea...'
They: 'That wouldn't get the grease out'.
Me (thinking, Of course! I have a year's worth of invisible grease in my hair!): 'It does if you use the right kind of hairbrush... it's complicated. Does anyone want another meringue?'
FIL (who had been thinking deeply): 'But you will need to use shampoo on the baby, because a lot of people in our family have very sensitive skin'.
DH and I, in unison: 'So that's a good reason to _put chemicals on her head??_'

Okay, that one was only vaguely baby-related, but it's just another example of why I find talking to the inlaws uphill work...


----------



## Ellp

My ILs have an annoying habit of "inspecting" my kids (they see them about once every couple of months), and looking for family traits.

They've commented that my oldest must be left handed because FIL is left handed. (So was my brother...)

Dd#2 is stubborn, and that comes from their side of the family...(sure, claim that one!)









Dd#1 is quite talkative, like FIL at that age. (Yeah, and so was I. And so is most 3yo's I know...)









Good grief, its like every personality and physical trait my kids have came from THEIR side of the family! They honestly get baffled when my kids do something that no one that they know has!







:

Me? I just bite my tongue...


----------



## beru

My MIL was visiting for 10 days when my DS was 6 weeks old. She loves to cook and she likes making dinner when she visits but she will not plan the meal no matter how much I encourage her to. She doesn't want to make anything we don't want. For me, I find planning meals more energy consuming than making meals and it's not what I want to do when I have a newborn. So, before her visit, I decided to plan meals for the first few days of her visit to try to 1. rein her in from making 7 course meals and 2. avoid the incessant, daily harrassment of "what's for dinner? what's for dinner? If you tell me what's for dinner, I'll make it"...I told my DH it was his job to plan dinners for the rest of the week because as I mentioned, I hate meal planning.

Well, day 4 or 5 of the visit comes along and of course, my DH hadn't planned for dinner and my MIL starts asking me what's for dinner...

me: ask DH
MIL (shocked): but he worked all day
me: I told him last week to plan the dinners so he has had plenty of time to do it
MIL: well, since he didn't, what should we have for dinner
me: It's really hard for me to think about the meal planning all the time...if you weren't visiting and we realized we hadn't planned, we would just have sandwiches and canned soups or something.
MIL: *But when you have visitors, you should expect extra work.*
me (stuttering after a long pause with a shocked look on my face): you don't think this is a little different situation because I have a newborn?
MIL: silence (obviously, an implied "no"!)

I then left the room. I was stunned and I then realized that she had not come to help me with my baby, she had come for a "visit". I already knew from my experience when she visited after my first baby's birth not to expect her to do laundry or cleaning or anything when she visited. But I thought this was just a difference in perspective and she did think she was helping. No, she had no intention of helping, she wanted a vacation. This wouldn't be such a big deal if she had stayed at a hotel (which I hinted at strongly before she came). She actually expected me to play host to them during my maternity leave.


----------



## HappyFox05

A waitress offered DD, 5 mo, no teeth, ebf, a Nutri-grain bar. Um, she has NO TEETH.


----------



## amberskyfire

I told my mother today about my painful decision to start giving a pacifier to my 8-week-old in the car because she screams during car rides. She said to me, quite matter of factly:

"Do it the natural way. In the 1800s, they used to give babies a cloth soaked in sugar water to keep them quiet."

I was so shocked my jaw dropped. I immediately snapped back with:

"Well, they also used to give their babies Laudanum!"


----------



## rmzbm

Quote:


Originally Posted by *beru* 
MIL: *But when you have visitors, you should expect extra work.*

"Then perhaps you should go home."


----------



## Collinsky

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aurora_skys* 
well my baby is still on the inside but i have had some dumb things said to me...

about my miscarriage:
from my mom "well next time you'll eat more folic acid, wont you."

from my neighbor, in a very authoritative voice (she mistaken believes that she knows everything and, incidentally, has never miscarried) "they could have stopped it if you'd gone to hospital. As soon as you started bleeding you should have gone to the hospital." Yes, wonderful thing to tell a newlywed who's just lost her honeymoon baby... I miscarried at 6 weeks, wtf did she think a hospital could do with that?!? It just makes me mad that Americans are so woefully uninformed about miscarriage. Everyone but my husband acted like it was my fault!

















That's all I can say. WTH.


----------



## Collinsky

My mom works in daycare (and she's the kind of woman that you WANT working in daycare, if you need to use it







) and she has an endless supply of Dumb Things People Say. The all time topper though was the woman who OWNED the daycare my mom was working at at the time who said with great authority that if you do not start a baby on solids before they are 7 months old, they **do no learn to swallow.**


----------



## AniellasMommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *newmommy7-08* 
Her response in her typical I don't like what you're saying so here's my passive agressive answer was well what happens at grandma's stays at grandma's! I was totally floored!!!!!

I smiled sweetly and informed her that is she ever wanted one on one time she'd best change that attitude VERY quickly.

I'm still SUPER irritated by this tho!!!









Don't they realize they are shooting themselves in the foot? Like your are going to say "Oh man, your right.....guess theres nothing I can do....you win."


----------



## ThreeBeans

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Collinsky* 
My mom works in daycare (and she's the kind of woman that you WANT working in daycare, if you need to use it







) and she has an endless supply of Dumb Things People Say. The all time topper though was the woman who OWNED the daycare my mom was working at at the time who said with great authority that if you do not start a baby on solids before they are 7 months old, they **do no learn to swallow.**









:


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *beru* 
I then left the room. I was stunned and I then realized that she had not come to help me with my baby, she had come for a "visit".

Hope she didn't have too much trouble finding the restaurant you recommended that night or getting to the hotel the next morning.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
I told my mother today about my painful decision to start giving a pacifier to my 8-week-old in the car because she screams during car rides. She said to me, quite matter of factly:

"Do it the natural way. In the 1800s, they used to give babies a cloth soaked in sugar water to keep them quiet."

I was so shocked my jaw dropped. I immediately snapped back with:

"Well, they also used to give their babies Laudanum!"

Someone who recommends sugar water for babies might have to have it spelled out for them that Laudanum is opium and that opium is an illegal drug.


----------



## Maeve

I think the worst ones I ever got were:

Mil: (when my oldest dd was less than a year) You better quit nursing or she'll turn into a d*ke.







:

Then when my oldest dd was little and having some growing pains in her legs, my mom said it was probably rickets from bf'ing. I told our ped that and the man who I pretty much never saw laugh up until then, busted out laughing so hard.







He asked that we please don't take advice from her anymore (this wasn't the first gem).
She also said we shouldn't use cloth diapers because it would make our kids bowlegged and they would never play with their feet or learn to walk.








And of course, the "You shouldn't co-sleep, you will roll over and kill her".
Oh, and one more. With my last pregnancy, she said to my dd's that something will probably be wrong because I am so big. Real nice.


----------



## elmh23

We attend Mass every Sunday with my MIL and FIL. It's usually really nice. Today, however, was not. I've been sick for the last week with a really bad virus, and it flared during Mass, so my son and I left. He has been really fussy lately and then today before we left his sister fell flat on his face.

Anyways, dd, age 3, started crying towards the end of Mass. She wanted me and she was also not feeling great (the back of her head hit her brothers in the fall.) Here's the conversation as relayed by dh:

MIL: She has you guys so trained. You never would have done this and she NEVER does this with me.
DH: Mom, she had a hard morning and she wants her mom.
MIL: Well, still, she needs to know not to cry during Mass.

Dh didn't respond. Just wasn't worth it, plus this was during Communion. This has happened before. MIL just can not be positive about her grandchildren (or her children for that matter.)


----------



## mamalisa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Collinsky* 
My mom works in daycare (and she's the kind of woman that you WANT working in daycare, if you need to use it







) and she has an endless supply of Dumb Things People Say. The all time topper though was the woman who OWNED the daycare my mom was working at at the time who said with great authority that if you do not start a baby on solids before they are 7 months old, they **do no learn to swallow.**

I had a dr tell me that. At 5 months she was in the hospital and the ped asked me if I had baby food with me or if he should ask the nurses to bring us some. I said she wasn't eating food yet and he told me I better hurry up, otherwise her mouth wouldn't learn how to chew. Poor girly ate 2 1/2 hard shelled tacos last night, even without eating solids at 5 months old!

Beru, when I was about 2 weeks post partum with ds, my mil was over visiting. I had a csection, after 18 hours of labor, was discharged, but ds wasn't for a week, so I was hauling my butt up and down 3 flights of stairs for those 2 weeks and out to the hospital 3 times a day to nurse him. I was exhausted. That _*woman*_ asked me to get her a glass of water, since I was up, while I hobbled my poor wracked body to the bathroom. She did not get water.


----------



## pookel

Quote:


Originally Posted by *veganone* 
The water thing is for ffed babes. Even the Sears' Baby Book recommends water for babies who are 100% ffed - they need a bottle of water a day.

Just btw, this is out-of-date advice - I think formulas used to be thicker and so they advised extra bottles of water. These days, formula is thinner and so ffed babies don't need extra water either.


----------



## soso-lynn

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Onemagicmummy* 
i gotb one the other day. evie was asleep in Ergo, some woman in the school yard asked me "how do you know she's alright in there" and looked at me like i was crazy when i said "well i can feel her breathing against my back, there is a gap between me n her shes not flat against me" she looked like she didnt get it.

i am only one i know to babywear longterm(Evie is 7 month and will be carried for a while to come)

kiz

I got a lot of that to. I still sometimes use a sling to carry almost 4 year old DD. I got people telling me that a stroller would be much easier, or when she was younger, that I should carry her in a car seat. I was also told that she would never learn how to walk.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Collinsky* 
The all time topper though was the woman who OWNED the daycare my mom was working at at the time who said with great authority that if you do not start a baby on solids before they are 7 months old, they **do no learn to swallow.**

I had a doctor threaten to call CPS on me because my 13 month old baby still did not eat much solid food. She had a few bites here and there but mostly just breastmilk. The doctor told me that I should force her to eat if I dont want her ending up with an eating disorder... oh and was over 30 pounds at the time.

Another one was from a 17-18 year old girl who had a 4 month old baby. She was somehow at my house (her kid was not with her) because her boyfriend knew my then roommate. DD had just turned 1 and I mentioned that she had never been more than a few feet away from me since she was born. The girl had a shocked and puzzled look on her face and said :So, you ve never left the house, not even to go to the store down the street for a whole year??

While I was pregnant, I was on the subway, minding my business. Some elderly woman smiled at me and said : You are so beautiful. You look you cant be more than 14. That pale skin and sweet face! You are just like the Virgin Mary.
That is by far the funniest thing anyone has ever said to me (except perhaps the social worker coming up to me and asking me if I lost my parents when I was 18, at a bus station. He thought I was 11 or 12.)


----------



## fujiyama_mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *spmamma* 
DH and I had met friends for dinner tonight and we were all standing outside the restaurant afterward. A lady looked at DD who was playing on the ground and said to me, "No socks?!"

We live in California. It was over 60 degrees out. She wasn't cold. I said, "It's okay."

Lady: "But it's cold. She should be wearing socks."
Me: "It's not cold. She's fine."










LOL..I have been told multiple times that my baby needed a hat. We were indoors, I took it off and put it in my bag, but thanks anyways..sheesh


----------



## urchin_grey

Oooh, I have a lot. LOL

Said to me by a co-worker after eavesdropping on my friend and I discussing my DS's birth defects: "Well you waited forever to go to the doctor."

Me: -blink- "Yeeeeahh, because being weighed, having my blood pressure taken, and peeing in a cup would have magically prevented my baby's brain for forming improperly."







(Not to mention that my first OB appointment was at 12 weeks, which I believe is pretty typical!)

--------------

Random lady at walmart, commenting on us carrying then 3wo DS around the store: "You shouldn't have your baby out of the carseat like that in a store, he'll get sick!"

--------------

Comments made to my sister by family members who were trying to get her to circ:
Sister's FIL: "Well, if it was a tumor or a heart defect, you'd do it, right??"
Sister's BF: "I will let you name him whatever you want and do whatever you want, even breastfeed if you want to, just let me make this one decision."
Our mom: "You HAVE to have him circ'd or you'll have to clean it out with baking soda every day!" and "You need to get him circ'd because Bram isn't circ'd and he's had infection after infection." (My DS has NEVER had an infection of his foreskin. EVER.)
Our 18yo sister: "I saw Bram's penis once and it was all infected and it looked like it was about to rot off!" (The last time said sister saw DS was when he was 9 months old and he never so much as had a _diaper rash_ until over 15 months old.)

--------------

Conversation with a neighbor while I was going out to check my mail, DS in tow:
Neighbor: "She is so pretty, always smiling!"
Me: "Well thank you! But he's a boy."
Neighbor: -confused, shakes head-
Me: -thinking he just didn't hear me- "He's a _boy_."
Neighbor: -comes closer, right up to us and grabs DS's hair- "No, this is a girl."
Me: -laughs- "Nooooo, he's a *BOY*. He's my SON."
Neighbor: -speaks slowly and loudly- "_Honey_, this is A. GIRL."
Me: -blinks, walks back inside-

Said neighbor still refers to DS as "she" every time we run into each other.

--------------

ETA: I forgot the best one! LOL

Lady at the grocery store commenting on then 2yo DS being in a mei tai: "Why don't you let him get down and walk??"
Me: "Well, he can't walk."
Lady: -laughs- "Well, of course he can't, if you don't ever put him down!"
Me: -big sweet grin- "Actually, I'm pretty damn sure he can't walk because he has a joint deformity."
-nosy lady is speechless as I walk away-


----------



## the elyse

Quote:


Originally Posted by *urchin_grey* 
Conversation with a neighbor while I was going out to check my mail, DS in tow:
Neighbor: "She is so pretty, always smiling!"
Me: "Well thank you! But he's a boy."
Neighbor: -confused, shakes head-
Me: -thinking he just didn't hear me- "He's a _boy_."
Neighbor: -comes closer, right up to us and grabs DS's hair- "No, this is a girl."
Me: -laughs- "Nooooo, he's a *BOY*. He's my SON."
Neighbor: -speaks slowly and loudly- "_Honey_, this is A. GIRL."
Me: -blinks, walks back inside-

Said neighbor still refers to DS as "she" every time we run into each other.

that's really bizzare!!







:


----------



## triscuitsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *urchin_grey* 
Conversation with a neighbor while I was going out to check my mail, DS in tow:
Neighbor: "She is so pretty, always smiling!"
Me: "Well thank you! But he's a boy."
Neighbor: -confused, shakes head-
Me: -thinking he just didn't hear me- "He's a _boy_."
Neighbor: -comes closer, right up to us and grabs DS's hair- "No, this is a girl."
Me: -laughs- "Nooooo, he's a *BOY*. He's my SON."
Neighbor: -speaks slowly and loudly- "_Honey_, this is A. GIRL."
Me: -blinks, walks back inside-

Said neighbor still refers to DS as "she" every time we run into each other.

Oh Mama I feel your pain. DS has blond, curly curly hair and I get this frequently.

Either people are *sure* he's a girl (to the point they think I'm crazy to say he's not) or else they are *sure* he's a boy but only because "boys are the only ones who get pretty hair"


----------



## nolonger

my dd was cueball bald and my best mommy friend's same age son had a head full of gorgeous curls.

I cringe at how gender stereotyped we dressed them when we went for walks together--her always nin the pink frilly dresses and him in the overalls with trucks printed on them--but people STILL told her what a pretty little thing he was and me what a strong, handsome fella she was.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *urchin_grey* 
Lady at the grocery store commenting on then 2yo DS being in a mei tai: "Why don't you let him get down and walk??"
Me: "Well, he can't walk."
Lady: -laughs- "Well, of course he can't, if you don't ever put him down!"
Me: -big sweet grin- "Actually, I'm pretty damn sure he can't walk because he has a joint deformity."
-nosy lady is speechless as I walk away-









Love this!

That's one thing this thread is missing, all the fabulous perfect responses like this.

(By the way, you did totally tell your sister that your mom and other sister were full of it regarding your ds having had infections, yes?)


----------



## urchin_grey

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 







Love this!

That's one thing this thread is missing, all the fabulous perfect responses like this.

Haha, yeah, I was kinda prepared for that one. A LOT of people always wanna know why he's in XYZ instead of running around. But usually people say "what's wrong?" instead of "your kid can't walk because you babywear". LOL

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
(By the way, you did totally tell your sister that your mom and other sister were full of it regarding your ds having had infections, yes?)

Ha! I didn't need to! The ironic thing is that my sister (M) lived _with_ us the whole summer after DS was born and then again when DS was 9mo until he was 18mo (M got pregnant right after she moved out). _And_, my parents and youngest sisters live 3 hours away and saw very little of DS! If _anyone_ besides his dad and I knew anything about his penis, it would be M! LOL

Besides, the only reason they were making up those things was because they were just desperate - M had already made up her mind on circ long before she ever even got preggo.

On the topic of my family and dumb advice though, our mother also told my sister that if she didn't supplement her BM with formula her baby would be malnourished.







My sister knows that's BS though. And she has a beautiful, very healthy, EBF, intact baby boy.









Sorry, I know I'm going OT and bragging a bit. LOL I'm just so proud of her for being so pro-active and not listening to all the horrible advice (like a lot of teen moms do, unfortunately).


----------



## barefootpoetry

Quote:


Originally Posted by *urchin_grey* 

--------------

Conversation with a neighbor while I was going out to check my mail, DS in tow:
Neighbor: "She is so pretty, always smiling!"
Me: "Well thank you! But he's a boy."
Neighbor: -confused, shakes head-
Me: -thinking he just didn't hear me- "He's a _boy_."
Neighbor: -comes closer, right up to us and grabs DS's hair- "No, this is a girl."
Me: -laughs- "Nooooo, he's a *BOY*. He's my SON."
Neighbor: -speaks slowly and loudly- "_Honey_, this is A. GIRL."
Me: -blinks, walks back inside-

Said neighbor still refers to DS as "she" every time we run into each other.

--------------

That would have been the point where I pulled down DS's diaper to show her his VERY MALE genitalia.









I got this with my son too, who had curly blonde hair, big blue eyes, and long thick eyelashes. Even when he was dressed in obvious boy clothes - overalls with fire trucks on them, or something - we would still get, "How old is she?"


----------



## amberskyfire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *barefootpoetry* 
That would have been the point where I pulled down DS's diaper to show her his VERY MALE genitalia.









I got this with my son too, who had curly blonde hair, big blue eyes, and long thick eyelashes. Even when he was dressed in obvious boy clothes - overalls with fire trucks on them, or something - we would still get, "How old is she?"

I think it's so funny that people always get the sex of babies wrong, even when they are dressed very gender specific.

It's kinda crazy because I dress my baby very gender neutral - almost always in plain white - and everyone always says "oh, SHE's so pretty!" Then they always ask "it IS a girl, isn't it?" and I always nod.

HOW do they know?


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *urchin_grey* 
Sorry, I know I'm going OT and bragging a bit. LOL I'm just so proud of her for being so pro-active and not listening to all the horrible advice (like a lot of teen moms do, unfortunately).

Well, I'm all kinds of impressed with her. You ever wonder how the rest of your family managed to miss the research gene? I think I'd get reduced to responding "are you pulling stuff out of your







: again?" after a certain point.









Anyway, yay for your sis! And more yay! for you being a good influence!


----------



## urchin_grey

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
Well, I'm all kinds of impressed with her. You ever wonder how the rest of your family managed to miss the research gene? I think I'd get reduced to responding "are you pulling stuff out of your







: again?" after a certain point.









Anyway, yay for your sis! And more yay! for you being a good influence!

I don't know! My mother and her twin were even BF until 2 1/2! Yet somehow my mom thinks that their first teeth means they are ready to wean so she weaned all 5 of us between 4 and 6 months.







: And my mom has no business giving advice on penis care anyway - she has 5 girls! As a matter of a fact, we were visiting once when DS was about 9mo and my mom wanted to give him a bath. But then she calls me into the bathroom and is like "okay, you've gotta clean the boy parts because I don't do that". And I looked at her all confused, grabbed the rag, and swiped the outside a couple times. LOL It didn't occur to me until at least a year later that she thought she was supposed to retract and clean it out!


----------



## yasinsmama

1st preagnancy I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks.
MIL never called to tell me i'm sorry, or to see how I was doing. When she finally did come for a visit, she asked me what I did to cause that!!









DS, 3weeks old, has hiccups and sneezes a lot. MIL and FIL keep wanting me to give him water for the hiccups, and say he has a cold when he sneezes (he was a c-section baby).

I put DS on the floor for some tummy time during one of the rare moments he was very awake. MIL and FIL said, "I wanted to tell you earlier, that is the best way for them to sleep because it feels like they felt in your belly". Umm, no!!


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *yaseensmommy* 
I put DS on the floor for some tummy time during one of the rare moments he was very awake. MIL and FIL said, "I wanted to tell you earlier, that is the best way for them to sleep because it feels like they felt in your belly". Umm, no!!









What, surrounded by fluid with the sounds of burps and farts echoing through regularly? (I am a gross gross pregnant woman.







)


----------



## mrsbernstein

I cannot believe that I have just read all 13 pages in ONE sitting!

Y'all are hilarious!

Mrs B


----------



## NJ*Doula

Quote:


Originally Posted by *yaseensmommy* 
I put DS on the floor for some tummy time during one of the rare moments he was very awake. MIL and FIL said, "I wanted to tell you earlier, that is the best way for them to sleep because it feels like they felt in your belly". Umm, no!!









My mother always used to tell me that babies need to sleep on their bellies or they'll feel like they're falling and wake up. Now I know she was talking about the morrow reflex.

My husband's uncle's wife (I won't say his aunt, she's only three years older than my husband) comes up with some doozies. My little man is only eight weeks old, so of course I wear him everywhere. This Easter (when he was only a month old) we went to the in-laws house for dinner, and Dear Auntie told me that in her country (Bolivia) people feed their babies and then put them down, because they have things to do and can't be holding their babies all day long. Because clearly I don't have things to do, being one of those lazy housewives/SAHMs and all.









Not parenting advice, but I got the odd when at the grocery store the other day. A nice looking little old lady came up and was asking about Ned. She asked how old he was and what his name is, so I told her - Edmund. She said "Aww, they'll call him Eddie!" to which I said "No, he's Ned". She responded, in a very sad tone, "Aww, that's too bad, since he's a boy". Huh?


----------



## acp

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
I think it's so funny that people always get the sex of babies wrong, even when they are dressed very gender specific.

So true. At least 90 percent of the people we run into - a lot, since we live in the city and walk all over the place - assume DD is a boy. I don't generally mind - you really can't tell gender very easily at this age, and a lot of the time I have her in bright colors and fairly gender neutral things. But it's funny to me how *certain* people are, and how many talk about my "boy" even when she's in head-to-toe pink.
My favorite was at the airport - DD was still in her light-pink PJs (with some little flowers on them, to boot!), and was toddling around the gate area. An older gentleman was clearly enjoying watching her, and loudly exclaimed: "There he goes! The pink wrestler! Look at that boy go!"
Later, also in the gate area, we overheard a flight attendant chatting with a passenger as they watched DD. The flight attendant was insisting she was a girl because of the pink, and the other passenger was equally certain DD was a boy







:
I'm convinced it has to do with hair. Babies with longer curly hair get called girls, even when they're boys, and DD has very short hair that sticks up in wacky ways. I think people forget that, at 10 months, most babies still haven't had a haircut and many are still bald....


----------



## mommy2caroline

The one I hate the most is the, "Is she a good baby?" line. Why do old people feel the need to ask that? I guess it was just the mentality at the time they were raised, sadly. I just want to respond, "No, she's a BAD baby, just awful and horrid!" and see what response I get







. But actually, when my step-grandmother (my GF remarried after my GM died) asked this very question, my 93 yr old GF piped up with, "Of course! All babies are good!"









My mil had dh at age 20 and was asked by a stranger, "Oh, you're babysitting?" when she was out w/ her children.

Strangers have asked me, "Oh, can she breathe in there?" when I had dd#1 in a sling asleep. No, she's actually dead in there...









And then I had somebody ask me, "So what are you doing?" to which I gave a blank look... she meant which baby training program were we doing, like Babywise or Ferber, etc. Gosh, I hadn't realized you have to "do" something to your baby!

I'm also fortunate to have received several positive comments. In the semi-rural South, I am surprised at how many people comment positively on the sling and say, "Aw, that's just where a baby wants to be!"

And a family member said to me while I nursed my then 18 month old, "I don't think I'll nurse our kids that long, and I think they'll turn out *just fine.*" Like I said they wouldn't? My nursing of my own child is somehow a judgment on somebody else's hypothetical future parenting???


----------



## hipumpkins

Ok here's a dumb one that I almost fell for.
My neighbor knew I was having a boy and she is a buddinsky and she said something about circing him (The details are fuzzy b/c I was pregnant at the time and DS is now almost 3)
and b/c it's fun to irritate her I told her I wasn't circing him.
She told me I had to b/c her "neighbor's cousin's uncle's late father" or some such thing wasn't circ'd and he got an infection so bad he couldn't walk.

I had never seen an intact boy and I wasn't as knowledgeable as I am now but I went over to the CAC board and asked about this...
I was set straight!


----------



## amberskyfire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommy2caroline* 
And a family member said to me while I nursed my then 18 month old, "I don't think I'll nurse our kids that long, and I think they'll turn out *just fine.*" Like I said they wouldn't? My nursing of my own child is somehow a judgment on somebody else's hypothetical future parenting???

I find this to be the most irritating thing about parenting! EVERYONE always takes your own parenting practices as a personal insult to the way they raise their kids. You don't even have to say anything! They just see you with your happy baby and are instantly insulted that you are not doing it "their way" because obviously you do it just to prove that their way is "wrong."







:


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
I find this to be the most irritating thing about parenting! EVERYONE always takes your own parenting practices as a personal insult to the way they raise their kids. You don't even have to say anything! They just see you with your happy baby and are instantly insulted that you are not doing it "their way" because obviously you do it just to prove that their way is "wrong."







:









: And yet, they seem to think it's perfectly okay to say bad stuff about you parent and things like "we'll see how long *that* lasts" with a smug chuckle, and would accuse you of being over sensitive if you pointed out how rude they were being.


----------



## starwishful

I have two related to DS's dairy sensitivity...

Shortly after DS was diagnosed with a dairy sensitivity and I had eliminated all dairy from my diet, we went to visit my in-laws. At a brunch at their house, my BIL's mom overheard a conversation I was having with some other people about how if removing dairy from my diet didn't fix DS's tummy problems, I'd move onto eliminating soy. I started listing all the things I could try eliminating after that and it just got to be too much for my BIL's mom. She loudly burst into the conversation with "Well, they wouldn't let you give up all those foods! If it got to that point, they'd put him on a special formula."







: That's right, folks... this mysterious, vague, all-powerful "they" not only has the right to choose what I do and don't eat, "they" can also make those decisions for my DS.







:

My other one is more general. Whenever I had to explain to someone outside of my family/close friends that I wasn't eating dairy because DS was allergic, they nearly always replied with "But breastmilk is dairy!"


----------



## mommy2caroline

I remembered another one...

When my first was about 13 months old, we were at a playgroup. A grandmother there who brought her granddaughter to the group asked me if my dd drank juice (she was passing it out at snacktime). I replied, "Not yet, she'll just have some water." The woman looked dumbfounded, then said, "But.. how does she get her vitamin C?"

I was kinda shocked... I responded that she did eat some fruit, and "I'm still breastfeeding her, so I'm sure she's getting some from that as well." The poor lady looked just a touch horrified, said, "Oh!" and then left me alone.


----------



## barefootpoetry

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
I find this to be the most irritating thing about parenting! EVERYONE always takes your own parenting practices as a personal insult to the way they raise their kids. You don't even have to say anything! They just see you with your happy baby and are instantly insulted that you are not doing it "their way" because obviously you do it just to prove that their way is "wrong."








:


Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 







: And yet, they seem to think it's perfectly okay to say bad stuff about you parent and things like "we'll see how long *that* lasts" with a smug chuckle, and would accuse you of being over sensitive if you pointed out how rude they were being.

Oh, how true it is! The hypocrisy ASTOUNDS me! And let's not forget that if you dare mention anything different to what they're doing, even as a polite suggestion (i.e. "I'm so tired of getting up all night long to nurse!" "We cosleep so that's not a problem for us, maybe you should give it a try, you'll get more sleep."), then you're SHOVING YOUR OPINION DOWN THEIR THROAT.


----------



## nikkiethridge

MY PEDIATRICIAN telling me to start my baby on solids at 2 monts.
Gotta' love the south.


----------



## acp

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 







: And yet, they seem to think it's perfectly okay to say bad stuff about you parent and things like "we'll see how long *that* lasts" with a smug chuckle, and would accuse you of being over sensitive if you pointed out how rude they were being.

The "we'll see how long that lasts" with the knowing smile or chuckle is always irritating to me. I remember talking to one friend (who has a 2-year-old) when I was about 8 months pregnant. When I told her I was planning on a natural childbirth, I got one of those "yeah, right, that's what you say now, wait till they offer you the epidural" comments. Later in the conversation, I told her we were planning to cloth diaper, and got yet another knowing look, as she said, "good luck... we'll see how long that lasts!" I know she was 100 percent convinced that neither thing would come to pass.

I actually like this woman a lot, and I think she's a great mother - she also pumped for 14 months despite working fulltime at a demanding job - but the knowing tone her voice irked me so much. I have to admit, I took some satisfaction in letting her know that I did, in fact, have a fully natural birth despite a long back labor, and that the cloth diapers were working wonderfully.

I'm not sure why it is that so many people see the decision to parent a certain way as a judgment on their different decisions, but it's SO true.


----------



## Maggirayne

Quote:


Originally Posted by *starwishful* 
I started listing all the things I could try eliminating after that and it just got to be too much for my BIL's mom. She loudly burst into the conversation with "Well, they wouldn't let you give up all those foods! If it got to that point, they'd put him on a special formula."







: That's right, folks... this mysterious, vague, all-powerful "they" not only has the right to choose what I do and don't eat, "they" can also make those decisions for my DS.







:

My other one is more general. Whenever I had to explain to someone outside of my family/close friends that I wasn't eating dairy because DS was allergic, they nearly always replied with "But breastmilk is dairy!"










Wow. So what did you say?

And on another note, I had never heard of Galactosemia until the old thread, and my cousin's little boy has it.


----------



## mntnmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GathererGirl* 
Dear Auntie told me that in her country (Bolivia) people feed their babies and then put them down, because they have things to do and can't be holding their babies all day long. Because clearly I don't have things to do, being one of those lazy housewives/SAHMs and all.










That's a little strange. When my Aunt, who's in her early 70's saw DD in the sling she said, "that's so good for them, to be close to Mama. Back in Honduras all the women do that. When she gets older, you can put her on your back to keep her little hands out of the way" I was under the impression most of Central America had a tradition of babywearing.


----------



## NJ*Doula

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mntnmom* 
That's a little strange. When my Aunt, who's in her early 70's saw DD in the sling she said, "that's so good for them, to be close to Mama. Back in Honduras all the women do that. When she gets older, you can put her on your back to keep her little hands out of the way" I was under the impression most of Central America had a tradition of babywearing.

They do. Auntie is just a bit of a UA violation. She doesn't like me, so whatever I do is going to be the wrong thing.


----------



## amberskyfire

I got this one yesterday. My client (who has no children) told me that my baby - who obviously isn't chubby at all - is fat because I breastfeed her.







:

This is the same lady who calls me up constantly and keeps asking me Dr. questions about her like "how much does she weigh? Is she eating enough? How many hours a day is she sleeping? Are you giving her 'tummy time?' How many ounces of milk does she drink a day?"

The lady is truly crazy.


----------



## minkajane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
I got this one yesterday. My client (who has no children) told me that my baby - who obviously isn't chubby at all - is fat because I breastfeed her.







:

All I can say is HOLY CRAP IS THAT A GORGEOUS KID! And NOT fat.


----------



## amberskyfire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
All I can say is HOLY CRAP IS THAT A GORGEOUS KID! And NOT fat.

Um. Thanks?

Hehe, I thought I only thought that because all moms think their kids are beautiful


----------



## Gwendolyn's babies

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
Um. Thanks?

Hehe, I thought I only thought that because all moms think their kids are beautiful









No, she is beautiful!!!


----------



## Dena

Quote:


Originally Posted by *starwishful* 
Whenever I had to explain to someone outside of my family/close friends that I wasn't eating dairy because DS was allergic, they nearly always replied with "But breastmilk is dairy!"









Moo.










I actually nearly clocked a woman in Trader Joe's - of all places - last week. She glared and me with dd2 in the mei tai and asked, "isn't he cold?" (I didn't have a jacket on the baby, but it was warmish out and she had on a padded/well insulated romper, plus my body heat of course). I said, "no, she is fine."

Prune Face. Then, "Is his head really well enough supported in that?"

"Well," I replied, "she IS able to hold her head up on her own, (being six months old and all...) but yes, yes it is."

Another Prune Face. And THEN, she asks, "Aren't you afraid you're going to hit his head on the shopping cart handle?"

"No. No, I'm not."

I mean, WTF? The shopping cart handle? I am short, but really, yeah, I'm just gonna walk so close to the cart that I am going to constantly be banging my baby up. Honestly.

Then she gave me the stink eye throughout the store whenever she saw me again.

Another one of my favorites is when people, for


----------



## Dena

Quote:


Originally Posted by *starwishful* 
Whenever I had to explain to someone outside of my family/close friends that I wasn't eating dairy because DS was allergic, they nearly always replied with "But breastmilk is dairy!"









Moo.










I actually nearly clocked a woman in Trader Joe's - of all places - last week. She glared and me with dd2 in the mei tai and asked, "isn't he cold?" (I didn't have a jacket on the baby, but it was warmish out and she had on a padded/well insulated romper, plus my body heat of course). I said, "no, she is fine."

Prune Face. Then, "Is his head really well enough supported in that?"

"Well," I replied, "she IS able to hold her head up on her own, (being six months old and all...) but yes, yes it is."

Another Prune Face. And THEN, she asks, "Aren't you afraid you're going to hit his head on the shopping cart handle?"

"No. No, I'm not."

I mean, WTF? The shopping cart handle? I am short, but really, yeah, I'm just gonna walk so close to the cart that I am going to constantly be banging my baby up. Honestly.

Then she gave me the stink eye throughout the store whenever she saw me again.

I recently was also told that dd2 - again, this is a six month old - is SO ALERT!! Well, good gracious, I hope so. If she weren't I would be kinda worried, dontcha think?


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dena* 
I recently was also told that dd2 - again, this is a six month old - is SO ALERT!!

Cheerful grin "Yep, that's how I know she can breathe in there!"


----------



## leosmommy

It's funny how everyone always seems to despise their MIL...well, my MIL is great and very supportive of all the AP we do (we live with my DH's parents, so they obviously see/know what we do with our DS). She even helped convince my DH that no vax/no circ is the right thing for our DS. What I need to complain about is my own mother. She calls DS "my baby boy" and everytime I talk to her (on the phone or when she comes to visit) I get to hear her advice/horror stories about my own childhood. "Oh, we always let you cry it out. Don't pick him up, you're spoiling him. Don't let him feed all the time when he wants to, you're spoiling him. He's manipulating you. You'll regret being so touchy feely with him." MY SON IS A WEEK OLD. HE'S NOT MANIPULATIVE, HE'S A HELPLESS LITTLE BABY! I love my DS and could never imagine just leaving him in another room to cry for hours. Oh, and co-sleeping is bad. And so is gentle discipline...my mom thinks kids need to be physically reprimanded. And since we're not vaxing..."if he gets really sick you know it will be your fault." Thanks, mom. Makes me realize two things: one, my mother is crazy and maybe that's why it took me a few years of therapy to be a happy, whole person...and two, thank God I have a wonderful and supportive MIL to turn to for motherly advice!


----------



## aurora_skys

ok i got an interesting nugget of child rearing "wisdom" from my neighbors (same neighbor i posted about earlier) 9 year old. Her 2 yr old sister was choking on some melted popsicle (which, dont even get me started on the massive sugar intake of these kids...) and the 9 yr old immediately grabbed her hand and pulled her arm straight up. When I asked what she was doing, she informed me that thats how you get a baby to stop coughing. I laughed and asked her "who told you that?" and she proudly announced "momma." I politely explained to her how you _want_ people who are choking to cough, it's how they get rid of whatever they are choking on. She put her sisters arm down and the girl coughed for a little while longer until she'd handled the problem.

My dad is a retired firefighter and he instilled in us from a young age that when ppl are coughing, let them be, but when they are choking and cant cough/breath, try to help them. Im not sure where the logic is in yanking a babys arm above its head...







It makes me sad that people just let their kids go through life relying on old wives tales.


----------



## veganone

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aurora_skys* 
ok i got an interesting nugget of child rearing "wisdom" from my neighbors (same neighbor i posted about earlier) 9 year old. Her 2 yr old sister was choking on some melted popsicle (which, dont even get me started on the massive sugar intake of these kids...) and the 9 yr old immediately grabbed her hand and pulled her arm straight up. When I asked what she was doing, she informed me that thats how you get a baby to stop coughing. I laughed and asked her "who told you that?" and she proudly announced "momma." I politely explained to her how you _want_ people who are choking to cough, it's how they get rid of whatever they are choking on. She put her sisters arm down and the girl coughed for a little while longer until she'd handled the problem.

My dad is a retired firefighter and he instilled in us from a young age that when ppl are coughing, let them be, but when they are choking and cant cough/breath, try to help them. Im not sure where the logic is in yanking a babys arm above its head...







It makes me sad that people just let their kids go through life relying on old wives tales.

My DH does this - he got it from HIS mom (who is a wealth of bizarre wives' tales). I try to get him to leave her alone and let her cough, but he still raises her arms up when she coughs. Ugh. He also still believes that going to bed with wet hair will make you get sick, as will sleeping cold. Otherwise, he's actually very rational...


----------



## amberskyfire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aurora_skys* 
ok i got an interesting nugget of child rearing "wisdom" from my neighbors (same neighbor i posted about earlier) 9 year old. Her 2 yr old sister was choking on some melted popsicle (which, dont even get me started on the massive sugar intake of these kids...) and the 9 yr old immediately grabbed her hand and pulled her arm straight up. When I asked what she was doing, she informed me that thats how you get a baby to stop coughing. I laughed and asked her "who told you that?" and she proudly announced "momma." I politely explained to her how you _want_ people who are choking to cough, it's how they get rid of whatever they are choking on.

My mother did this with me all through my childhood. Whenever I'd start choking or coughing, she would grab my arms and hold them above my head and say "bonsai!"

Because of it, I always thought that was how to get someone to stop choking - until I had a child of my own, that is. Now it's obvious how plainly silly that is.


----------



## jessica_lizette

*


----------



## Ianthe

My MIL is pretty BFing friendly and even BF'd DH until he was 18 months. But the other day she tried telling me: "If you don't start to wean ds now that he is turning a year, he'll never wean!" I had to laugh and told her, "I promise he won't be breastfeeding in high school!"


----------



## ishereal

My granny just now tried to give my 1 month old exclusively b'fd baby a tootsie roll sucker. She said " well it's just a lick"














I could have fell out and died ............................







:


----------



## CowsRock

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
Um. Thanks?

Hehe, I thought I only thought that because all moms think their kids are beautiful









nope, beautiful baby


----------



## butterfly_mommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ishereal* 
My granny just now tried to give my 1 month old exclusively b'fd baby a tootsie roll sucker. She said " well it's just a lick"














I could have fell out and died ............................







:

When I was 6 weeks old my mom left me with my poppy and she came home to me with a butterscotch sucker in my mouth







: No wonder I am addicted to sugar now


----------



## FarmerCathy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *butterfly_mommy* 
When I was 6 weeks old my mom left me with my poppy and she came home to me with a butterscotch sucker in my mouth







: No wonder I am addicted to sugar now









Your just lucky you didn't start choking on it.


----------



## YesandNo

Quote:

When I asked what she was doing, she informed me that thats how you get a baby to stop coughing. I laughed and asked her "who told you that?" and she proudly announced "momma." I politely explained to her how you want people who are choking to cough, it's how they get rid of whatever they are choking on. She put her sisters arm down and the girl coughed for a little while longer until she'd handled the problem.
It's funny you brought this up, because just last week I was at dinner with the in-laws and when the FIL started coughing he said "oh I should put my hands up" and laughed. I think this is a pretty universal lie..... still, I'm not sure you should have shattered the myth for the kid. It's like telling her there is no Santa Claus.


----------



## abiyhayil

my Aunt was being very cute with our nearly 4 mo making him smile and giggle. She turns to me very seriously and says ' You shouldn't make him giggle too much it'll make him stutter '


----------



## Hippie Mama in MI

OMG, here's a double whammy.

My 22mo ds is a ball of fire, running, climbing, exploring, and (unfortunately) getting frequent bumps and thumps from the floor and furniture. I don't worry too much about these very minor mishaps, since they rarely leave a bruise and ds is usually off running to his next caper within seconds, his bump forgotten.

My family, however, is pretty concerned about protecting ds's noggin. My mom suggested I make him wear a bicycle helmet. I thought this was the height of ridiculousness, until my aunt suggested I put a diaper on his head.

I have seen thousands of active toddlers get the odd thump on the head, but I have never seen one sporting a bicycle helmet indoors or one with a diaper turban.


----------



## trancechylde

Quote:

My family, however, is pretty concerned about protecting ds's noggin. My mom suggested I make him wear a bicycle helmet. I thought this was the height of ridiculousness, until my aunt suggested I put a diaper on his head.

I have seen thousands of active toddlers get the odd thump on the head, but I have never seen one sporting a bicycle helmet indoors or one with a diaper turban.
Oh this made me spray my morning tea everywhere!!!! hahahaaaaa.
Just the mental image of your DS boinging off coffee tables and walls with a bike helmet on









heh. this tickled my funny-bone. am easily amused.









Too cute!


----------



## trancechylde

Ok so I have one to add.

There's a lady that lives in my building and has a son just a week younger than my DS.
Every time I bump into her and her family/friends, they ask incredulously if I'm STILL breastfeeding my child. He's 5 months old.

She told me when I asked (politely and gently) why she was formula-feeding, that her son was waking up every 2-3 hours during the night (when he was 4 WEEKS!!) to be fed and taking an hour to feed/change/settle back down and she "couldn't be bothered" with it all.

Her theory is that her breastmilk ISN'T STRONG ENOUGH to make the baby STTN and/or give him enough nourishment to grow properly. She told me how "lucky" I am that mine IS "strong enough" to sustain my son on bm alone









Her son is literally twice the weight of mine, and at 5 months cannot put weight on his legs (support his own weight while being held under the arms etc) and his head is still very wobbly.
I have seen the amount of formula he gets in one go- seriously the bottle must be about 9/10 oz, and is FULL to the brim...and he gets 5-6 of these a day? I don't know, maybe that's normal for ff baby, it just sounds like ALOT to me








She started him on solids (rice cereal) at 3 months because he was "just hungry all the time". She strongly encouraged me to do the same (and still does).

As soon as he makes a peep, ANY noise..a sigh, a shriek, a gurgle- he gets a bottle shoved in his mouth. It's quite sad really, I fear that the child is SERIOUSLY overweight, but I don't want to "stick my nose in" as I've already been pretty vocal about vaxing, self-feeding etc, and they already think I'm a kook.

I placate myself with the thought that she has another son, about 4 yrs old, who seems to have made it through her child-rearing ways relatively unscathed. What to do?


----------



## bigeyes

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hippie Mama in MI* 
.

I have seen thousands of active toddlers get the odd thump on the head, but I have never seen one sporting a bicycle helmet indoors or one with a diaper turban.

I wish I could find a pic of ds with his. It wasn't a protective measure, just a variation on a 'do-rag' my brother did one day while babysitting.

So I can honestly say, yes, I have seen a toddler sporting a diaper turban.







He loved to play dress up .


----------



## veganone

My MIL is obsessed with worry that my 8.5 month old DD is starving to death because she is still 90% breast fed. She constantly asks if she can feed the baby, and when I do feed her solids, she always asks if we can give her more. She is also obsessed with informing me that my milk (I don't know if she means bm in general, or just mine) is deficient in some way.

Two gems:

- The other day DD was clearly sleepy (rubbing eyes, fussy, and yawning) and MIL says "maybe she's hungry, I can make her some cereal." Um no. I bfed her and put her down for a nap - she slept for over an hour.

- My current favorite - last night she informs DH and I that the reason she saw DD sticking her tongue out a lot on the webcam when she was 4 months old was because she has a protein deficiency because my milk doesn't have enough protein. That was 4 1/2 months ago, and she tells us this NOW. It couldn't possibly have been that she discovered her tongue at that age and was teething...

I am dealing with it because she lives on another continent and is leaving next weekend...

All of her children were ff at some point (the longest she bfed was 6 mos, the shortest was 15 days - and they all started solids by 8 weeks).


----------



## queenjulie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hippie Mama in MI* 
my aunt suggested I put a diaper on his head.

I have seen thousands of active toddlers get the odd thump on the head, but I have never seen one sporting a bicycle helmet indoors or one with a diaper turban.

LOL--maybe she wants to buy you this: http://www.babynobumps.com/!!


----------



## ashleyhaugh

lol about the diaper on the head... i used to love to watch rugrats (the cartoon) and there was an episode where the dads made helmets for the kids- there were diapers, rolls of toilet paper, and i think a bowl too


----------



## paquerette

About the "arms up when choking" -- some people recommend that you teach little kids to put their OWN arms up if they're choking and need help, as a signal. I guess it's used more in other countries than the US, though. It's more visible in a crowd than putting your hands to your throat. The act is not supposed to clear up the choking, though. It's supposed to be a signal for help!


----------



## Awaken

I can't believe this thread is at 15 pages and I am just seeing it now! I have a lot of reading to do!


----------



## jessica_lizette

Quote:


Originally Posted by *queenjulie* 
LOL--maybe she wants to buy you this: http://www.babynobumps.com/!!










Quote:

*Born out of the need of a concerned grandparent for her grandchild*, the Baby No Bumps - Safety Helmet® is designed to protect your baby from harsh bumps on the head while learning to crawl and walk.
TOO funny!!!


----------



## ThreeBeans

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hippie Mama in MI* 

I have seen thousands of active toddlers get the odd thump on the head, but I have never seen one sporting a bicycle helmet indoors or one with a diaper turban.

You know, a brightly colored Fuzzibunz with ears sewn where the leg holes are would make a delightful little hat


----------



## aurora_skys

wow im just not sure about that baby no bumps product, lol. The first thing i thought of when i saw it was a sharp coffee table corner bonking the kid on the head right in the huge gaps in the foam. it seems like it just gives a false sense of security to me...

hahaha, i bet the grandmother who first made that product drove her daughter _crazy_ trying to get her kid to wear it. "But he neeeds it because *insert ridiculous old wives tale about the tragic consequence of bumping your head* !!"


----------



## Hippie Mama in MI

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Awaken* 
I can't believe this thread is at 15 pages and I am just seeing it now! I have a lot of reading to do!

15 pages, heck... This is a spin off of a thread with _over five thousand replies._ Here's the original, it's too much fun to miss:

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...ad.php?t=34933


----------



## sunnymw

Oh yeah, The Original. I spent DS1's entire pregnancy reading that one!!! We had dial up and I'd sign online, open up about 15 pages worth in tabs, and sign off so as not to tie up the line. And just spend all my breaks that day reading.

My... how is she related to me... DH's step-dad's mama, lol... the UberMatriarch of the family... she had several homebirths and one UC (intentional but not for great reasons) and she's the ONLY person that ever asks me "You're still nursing, right?" Which is SO wonderful (esp since everyone in the family loathes her for some reason... because she speaks her mind!)... but once when I was about 6 weeks pregnant and DS was 15 months old, we were talking and I told her DS still nursed once during the night. And I was SO shocked when she said:

"Honey, you need to break him of that..."








like a dog?

But I must give credit, I assume that she assumed it would hurt the new baby. She seemed to have no issues w/ another family member nursing until 4.


----------



## user_name

Here's a winner from the pages of my life:
While attending my baby shower (having had my 1st baby prematurely just 3 days prior - bad idea, sure, but what did I know?), a cousin of DH's offered:

"Well, if you think about it, you're lucky. Since the nurses take care of him at night, you can get a lot more sleep!"

Most people laughed, nodded, and smilingly agreed.

I mustered up a polite smile, and choked out a whisper to DH, "Excuse me, I need to go pump..."

After the cake and the presents, I bawled almost all the way back to the hospital... It still takes all the grace I can get from God to remind myself that she just had no clue.

And this, similar to some other circ myth mentionings on this thread, a lovely gem of a conversation I had with my (genuinely) sweet MIL:
MIL, with one of her random-statements-disguised-as-a-question moments, said one day:
"Well, have you heard that the partners of men who aren't circumsized have like a 50% chance of getting cervical cancer?"

to which (as I held back both laughter and tears in my head...) I replied:
"Um, I don't think that's true...if it were...well, I'll put it this way: did you know that most men on this planet are NOT circumsized?"

To which she replied:
"Really?! Even in Europe?!"








:


----------



## user_name

Quote:


Originally Posted by *abiyhayil* 
my Aunt was being very cute with our nearly 4 mo making him smile and giggle. She turns to me very seriously and says ' You shouldn't make him giggle too much it'll make him stutter '









that's too funny!! LOL!!


----------



## yasinsmama

I have a new one, form my mom no less!!!
She is a smart lady, and when I was pregnant, she told me that tons of people would be trying to tell me what to do, how to raise him, etc. She told me do do what I want, and what feel right for me.

The other day I told her that people are already telling us not to hold Adam too much or he'll get spoiled. My goodness, the boy is only 4 weeks old, he doesn't even know anything. He NEEDS to be held.
Anyways, this is what my mom said
Me: People tell is not to hold him too much
Mom: Well, don't hold him ALL of the time
Me: If he's content and kicking his legs and moving around, i'll leave him for a bit, but if he cries, I will NOT leave him lying there
Mom: Well how would you feel if someone was picking you up all of the time?


----------



## GoBecGo

Great thread...very addictive though, and i haven't gotten through all of THIS one yet, let alone the original!









I have lots.

When i was 24 weeks pregnant. Walking into work, the receptionist greeted me with "OH MY GOD!!! You are MASSIVE!! Why are you still at work? You can't have more than a week to go!". I get in the lift and go up to my office. En route to my desk a female colleague says, "You are so tiny! Are you really pregnant? Is the baby growing ok? Maybe you should eat more!" (i weighed 209lbs!).

When we planned to homebirth i was told "i would have died if i'd been at home" by seriously about 80% of the women i know! Many of whom had hospital births with NO intervention! So what? The baby peeked out and went "phew, i see tiles and chrome! No killing mummy today..." A few freinds asked me if midwives had to be qualified or if they were like grandmothers (!?) and one lady told me "You won't be able to register the birth because they only count them if they're born in hospital! You can't just write any old thing on the Place Of Birth line - it HAS to be a hospital!" I managed to tell her i had Australian friends with longitude and latitude on their kids BC's since there is no universally known name for their location!

On the phone when DD was 4 days old:
XMIL: Where is she?
Me: in my arms.
XMIL: She should be out in the garden getting air!
Me: We don't have a garden.
XMIL: Leave her in the street then...

When BFing i was told repeatedly by the mother of a friend to give DD tastes of food - "it's not REALLY solids! Just tastes" and when i declined warned me "Well, on your head be it - anything they haven't tasted by 5 months they won't eat as adults!" LMAO!!!

More recently DD was having a small meltdown (it's hard to be 2 right?). I was standing by waiting for my moment (she doesn't like immediate hugs, but there's almost always a break in screaming when sobbing begins where, if i get in quick, she'll accept a cuddle and some lovins) and an old woman came up to me and said "Are you going to let her away with that?" I just smiled and said "She's a bit over-tired" which she was. Old woman sniffed, "You can't let her think her opinion matters more than yours! You ought to give her a good smack!" To which i replied, in possibly my most triumphant mummy moment so far "You seem to think your opinion is pretty important." then limply raising my hand, "Do you want a good smack?" at which she looked terribly shocked and scuttled off muttering! LOL.


----------



## CowsRock

Well GoBecGo, I can either quote your entire post and say why each was fuuny or just say geeze-louise, you really do have some good ones!!


----------



## rightkindofme

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GoBecGo* 
More recently DD was having a small meltdown (it's hard to be 2 right?). I was standing by waiting for my moment (she doesn't like immediate hugs, but there's almost always a break in screaming when sobbing begins where, if i get in quick, she'll accept a cuddle and some lovins) and an old woman came up to me and said "Are you going to let her away with that?" I just smiled and said "She's a bit over-tired" which she was. Old woman sniffed, "You can't let her think her opinion matters more than yours! You ought to give her a good smack!" To which i replied, in possibly my most triumphant mummy moment so far "You seem to think your opinion is pretty important." then limply raising my hand, "Do you want a good smack?" at which she looked terribly shocked and scuttled off muttering! LOL.

You are my hero!!!


----------



## emski4379

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mumto2* 
I undress ds and she gasps to see a cloth diaper.

NP: Ewww.. I didn't think anyone used those anymore, we have disposables you know.
Me: Mmmm
NP: Well you'll have to stop using them when he's 12 months old or he'll never learn to walk.
Me; Really? (with a smirk) We all walk just fine and we wore cloth.
NP: Well that was before, modern kids just won't be able to do it.

I ran as fast as I could from that place!!!

That's funny, my CD DS started walking at 11 months? He must be a freak of nature in her eyes!


----------



## blizzard_babe

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hippie Mama in MI* 
I have seen thousands of active toddlers get the odd thump on the head, but I have never seen one sporting a bicycle helmet indoors or one with a diaper turban.









i was having a bad day until i read that


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GoBecGo* 
"You can't let her think her opinion matters more than yours! You ought to give her a good smack!" To which i replied, in possibly my most triumphant mummy moment so far "You seem to think your opinion is pretty important." then limply raising my hand, "Do you want a good smack?" at which she looked terribly shocked and scuttled off muttering! LOL.











Can I use that?


----------



## Maggirayne

Wow, that's great. She totally set herself up for that one. I think that's one of the best comebacks I've read on these threads.


----------



## HappyFox05

GoBecGo, you had me laughing all the way through your post. Thanks! And







for that final comeback!


----------



## MamaHippo

I got stopped by a woman in Whole Foods one day when i was 32 wks pg with DD. I am enormous when pg, but have tiny babies. Its just the way I am.

Woman: Twins.
Me: Excuse me?
Woman: Twins. Youre having twins. I can tell imediately when a woman is having twins, and youre definitely having twins.
Me: Nope. just one.
Woman: No, Its definitely twins. Have you had your ultrasound?
Me: Yes. One baby.
Woman: Well, they must not have looked very hard. (stoops down to talk to DS). Look at you, youre going to have 2 new brothers or sisters, you lucky boy! You'll have to help mommy a whole bunch!
(DS is looking terrified at the prospect of more than one new baby, and looks at me, panicked).
Me: No, its only *one baby*. They checked. (by this point I am wondering why I am bothering arguing with this crazy woman in the checkout line).
Woman: No, there is _no way_ a woman carrying as large as you are is having only one baby, unless the baby is 15 pounds. Just wait until the doctor holds up 2 babies! You'll see I was right!








:


----------



## FarmerCathy

Guess what I just found on craigslist.

http://sacramento.craigslist.org/bab/682618874.html

Hahahahahaha! Pink baby helmets!


----------



## Hippie Mama in MI

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GoBecGo* 
Old woman sniffed, "You can't let her think her opinion matters more than yours! You ought to give her a good smack!" To which i replied, in possibly my most triumphant mummy moment so far "You seem to think your opinion is pretty important." then limply raising my hand, "Do you want a good smack?" LOL.

laughup














:







::nana:


----------



## DogwoodFairy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KristyDi* 

3. So many of the previous generations have little or no personal experience with breast feeding that there's some kind of mental block about it. Kinda like how my very intelligent father can't seem to grasp when to double click with the mouse and a computer and when not to. He double clicks everything, every time, no matter how often I explain it.

Oh and so I say something on topic: My GMIL swears her milk turned to water when her daughter was 5 months old and I need to keep an eye out in case it happens to me. She truly believes her breasts stopped producing milk and started producing water.









:


----------



## 1littlebit

lol this thing cracks me up. im gonna read this anytime i have to see family it will keep me sane







so here is my contribution.

I live in MD my inlaws have a house in missouri from the time i got pregnant until ... well.. still everytime i see me MIL she tells my ds (4 mos) that he is going to spend every summer with them in missouri. I smile.. and laugh (nicely) while in my head thinking over my cold dead body lady. (not even then in our will he stays with my family)

and as if they want to reinforce my decision

FIL you need to put honey and koolaid on his pacifier
ME no its not healthy they found out that honey can give babies botulism
FIL no it wont we all did it. you dont want him to get bored
ME well actually would rather have him be bored then have botulism so i think if he gets bored ill just play with him.

next visit

FIL when are you going to teach him to swim?
ME whenever he wants to learn.
FIL got to get them in the water early or theyll be afraid of it
ME we will when the time comes
FIl DH was afraid of the water when he was little so when we were at the pool i just threw him in
ME how old was he?
FIL 2
i said nothing since the only thing that came to mind was it such ashame you cant be arrested for sheer stupdity









not to say my side of the family is perfect on top of their constant need to try and convince me to put him in a crib to sleep. I swaddle him my aunt says hes going to suffocate. i jiggle him a little grandma says hes going to get shaken baby syndrome. but my personal favorite... aww theres _my_ baby, give him to me..why do you get him out of that sling he wants his _______ insert w/e relative here.

and recently .. gosh dont try and breastfeed again! what would you do if he started to refuse the bottle? (throw a party lol)


----------



## Hippie Mama in MI

My mother is forever second-guessing my ability to care for my 23 mo ds. She says things like, "Shouldn't he have a coat?" "He's tired, mama, he needs a nap." "You should take off his coat, he's too hot." Mostly she's just looking out for her beloved grandson, but she has earned a reputation of second guessing one's mothering skills.

She went too far last week, though. At her house, a bird has nested in an eave near a window, and laid eggs there. My mom was griping about how the mama bird often leaves the nest, and leaves the eggs alone in the cool mornings. Mom was fretting about the baby birds getting cold.

I said, "Mom, I'm sure the mama robin has it under control."

Mom said, "You'd think so. I sure hope she knows what she's doing."

I laughed at her, I couldn't help it. She actually thought she knew how to care for eggs better than a mama robin. My mother, the interventionist.

PS. The baby robins hatched a few days ago and are just fine, of course. They'll never know just how close their mama came to being reported to the birdie CPS...


----------



## amberskyfire

Oh, Hippie Mama, that was too funny!







:


----------



## MCatLvrMom2A&X

: birdie CPS


----------



## yogamonkeyjo

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maeve* 
I think the worst ones I ever got were:

Mil: (when my oldest dd was less than a year) You better quit nursing or she'll turn into a d*ke.







:


My Grandpa told my mom that because I learned how to whistle that I was (same thing, more colorful language).


----------



## RunnerDuck

my father is a 'that kid needs a coat' kind of person. my mother is more 'you are not feeding him enough.'

she came to visit when ds was 18 months or so - old enough to eat pretty much anything but not old enough to be thoroughly vocal about wants and needs. we live in different states. the first thing she said when she got off the plane and saw him was "he looks like he's starving!" (meanwhile my son was always off the charts HUGE...)

so one day he's being really fussy... clingy... just not acting right. she insists he's hungry. "he needs to eat!" both of my parents, when they visit, they buy lots of snacks. so my mother is feeding him things like slim jims, strawberries, bologna, i forget what all else. i didn't even notice her slipping him half this stuff (and I'm not saying it's all bad stuff, just he doesn't need to eat that much but my son is very obliging and she just kept feeding him). next thing i know he is standing in the middle of the living room and he starts throwing up. it was the first time he'd ever thrown up so he was terrified. i stood there completely amazed at the sheer volume of food coming out of this child, to say nothing of the array of textures and colors. it just kept coming and coming and coming... i didn't know all that food could fit in a person so small.

afterwards he was really upset and clinging and crying and just wanted to snuggle - he had a fever, obviously it was the start of a stomach bug. THAT was why he'd been so crabby and "off" all day.

but omg. my mother had a different explanation. she said "now look, he just threw up all that food, he's probably hungry! you should feed him something!"










eta - this was the same visit where my mother laid into me that my being severely underweight was at the root of my infertility struggles. "severely underweight" at 145 pounds, 5'4. i somehow never before realized how effed up my mother is about food, weight, eating - it all came to a head this visit. we didn't talk for a year...


----------



## Writerbird

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RunnerDuck* 
"severely underweight" at 145 pounds, 5'4.

Wow. I'm 5'4" and am trying to get BACK to 145 after having a baby. And I'm supposed to be 135 to be "average" let alone "slender." But I haven't seen 135 since, oh, junior high school
















at the birdie CPS story.

This probably doesn't fit under "worst," but it was certainly funny. My MIL, bless her, thinks BFing is weird but has been striving to be supportive. The only thing she was doing that was annoying was talking about how early her four strapping sons had oatmeal in their formula to fatten them up.

My SIL just had a baby, and on her first visit to the family home, we put my then-16 week old son next to the week-old girl (who was born much heavier than my son, BTW). My kid looked enormous, all chubby legs and arms and cheeks.

My MIL was quiet for a minute, and then turned to my SIL, and said, "You're going to breastfeed that baby, aren't you?"


----------



## RunnerDuck

to make perfectly clear - 145 is NOT underweight for 5'4 by any logical stretch of the imagination. but i come from a fat family with weight issues ... compared to my family i am SKINNY. ideally I would be 135, too - I have seen myself at 135 and think it is my body's perfect weight.

after having the twins I'll be lucky to see the underside of 150 any time soon... dunno if that will ever happen especially since reading recently that domperidone contributes to weight gain. ugh.


----------



## barefootpoetry

Ooh, I just remembered another one while reading through the latest posts...

My grandparents had come down to VA from NY for a visit when DS was 8 months old or so. They showed up right as DS was ready to nap, so after I greeted them, I took him upstairs, nursed him, and laid him down to sleep. I came back down emptyhanded and they stared at me and said, "What did you do with the baby?" I said, "I put him down for a nap." My grandmother looked at me in annoyance and said, "Why did you have to put him down NOW?" Gee, I guess I should have forced him to stay awake so you could drool over him while he got tired and cranky. It's not like he's not going to be awake again in an hour or so anyway!

Granted, this was from the same grandmother who tried telling me to quit BFing because it was "taking away all my strength" and making me too pale. I suppose it slipped her mind that I'm Swedish/Irish and therefore white as a sheet of paper, bless her senile old heart.


----------



## isfa

I]At a BFing class...[/I]
A mother was there with her pregnant daughter. The mother had not BF any of her kids and seemed very unsupportive of daughter BFing. She actually was telling stories about all the "inappropriate" places where women BF. She was complaining to the class about how some women "just whip it out anywhere"... her example- a hair salon. "I don't need to see that." She also talked through the entire class and GIGGLED at the latching pictures- OMG- boobies!
_
At the hospital, after giving birth..._
A new nurse came on shift. I'd just been having some skin-to-skin time with DD (who was about 24 hours old). I'd heard that it helped with nursing (it did). The nurse walks in and gasps, "WHERE are her CLOTHES?" I explained, and she said she'd never heard of that and acted completely disgusted.

_During pregnancy..._
Too many comments to count, but I went to a training for the job I'm starting in a month (when DS will be 12 weeks) and the guy leading it pulls me aside and says, skeptically, "I hope your baby's sleeping through the night by then."
Another guy, at the gym, seemed to by endlessly fascinated by the fact that I was working out while pregnant. One real gem was when he asked me about working out while pregnant, and then said, "Well, I hope that works out for you."


----------



## jennadk3

I'm not going to mention who said this in case they just so happen to read these boards.. *HA* About my 6 week old baby (at the time) who doesn't really like to be put down. "Uh oh, he is getting used to being held. Better nip that in the bud. Don't want to spoil him."ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!


----------



## amberskyfire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jennadk3* 
I'm not going to mention who said this in case they just so happen to read these boards.. *HA* About my 6 week old baby (at the time) who doesn't really like to be put down. "Uh oh, he is getting used to being held. Better nip that in the bud. Don't want to spoil him."ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!

Yeah, I get stuff like that from everybody. I tell them:

"Too much candy spoils babies.
Having too many toys spoils babies.
Too much TV spoils babies.
Too much junk food spoils babies.

But no one was ever spoiled by too much love."


----------



## yasinsmama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jennadk3* 
I'm not going to mention who said this in case they just so happen to read these boards.. *HA* About my 6 week old baby (at the time) who doesn't really like to be put down. "Uh oh, he is getting used to being held. Better nip that in the bud. Don't want to spoil him."ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!

I am getting SO sick of this comment from my own family....from my own mother.


----------



## ishyfishie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *isfa* 
_
At the hospital, after giving birth..._
A new nurse came on shift. I'd just been having some skin-to-skin time with DD (who was about 24 hours old). I'd heard that it helped with nursing (it did). The nurse walks in and gasps, "WHERE are her CLOTHES?" I explained, and she said she'd never heard of that and acted completely disgusted.

I really couldn't think of too many stupid things people have said to me, but this reminded me! Right after dd was born, the "nursery" nurse really wanted to ignore the parts of our birth plan regarding bath, etc. We just kind of rolled our eyes at her but when she came in as dd was breastfeeding for the first time (and doing great), she got all upset that we had unwrapped the blanket to give her some skin-to-skin contact. This hospital prides themselves on their lactation consultants and educated nurses and EVERYONE we'd ever heard talk about breastfeeding had mentioned skin-to-skin contact. So, after ignoring our wishes to have her immediately placed on my chest after the birth and getting her dressed and wrapped before handing her to us, this nurse walked in and was all, "OMG, baby needs to stay wrapped up, they can't regulate their temperature so it's very important to keep them wrapped up and warm!" Like my body heat does nothing for her, right? We hadn't even undressed her, just opened up the swaddling blanket and her little shirt. As soon as she left, we went back to what we were doing and she breastfed like a champ.


----------



## Awaken

Quote:


Originally Posted by *isfa* 
I]
_
At the hospital, after giving birth..._
A new nurse came on shift. I'd just been having some skin-to-skin time with DD (who was about 24 hours old). I'd heard that it helped with nursing (it did). The nurse walks in and gasps, "WHERE are her CLOTHES?" I explained, and she said she'd never heard of that and acted completely disgusted.

That is horrible! It's incredible that a maternity nurse would be so dense about basic baby care and feeding!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jennadk3* 
I'm not going to mention who said this in case they just so happen to read these boards.. *HA* About my 6 week old baby (at the time) who doesn't really like to be put down. "Uh oh, he is getting used to being held. Better nip that in the bud. Don't want to spoil him."ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!

Ugh. I've heard this so many times I've lost count.







:


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jennadk3* 
I'm not going to mention who said this in case they just so happen to read these boards.. *HA* About my 6 week old baby (at the time) who doesn't really like to be put down. "Uh oh, he is getting used to being held. Better nip that in the bud. Don't want to spoil him."ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!

"Actually, it's more that he's just now getting used to occasionally *not* being held. Remember, he had 9 whole months of being supported 24 hours a day 7 days a week. He's only had 6 tiny little helpless weeks in the big world. You try going from your comfy bed to climbing a mountain and see how you like it when someone tries to say that you're going to be spoiled by having a safety harness."


----------



## Mommy2Austin

DS2 is almost 4 months old and has developed a bit of a cold. Nothing serious, but I've never dealt with a sick infant because honestly DS1 didnt get even a sniffle until he was over a year old. SO I called my Dad for a little advice on what to do to alleviate his symptoms because the infant cough and cold medicines no longer exist (not that I'd use it unless it were really needed.) I know if I take him to the dr. they'll just tell me to wait it out. So my Dad tells me to try some vicks on a bib to help him breathe and then asks me "Are you giving him water?" I'm like Uh no. He says "Well give him some water in a bottle. Milk makes them phlegmy..." I said "You know breastmilk isn't like formula." "He says "I know but its still good for them to have a little water.."







They've been trying to get me to give him water since day one. That and rice cereal....mmmm cardboard paste!

I'm waiting to see how long it is before they start whining about him not having solids.


----------



## amberskyfire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mommy2Austin* 
So my Dad tells me to try some vicks on a bib to help him breathe and then asks me "Are you giving him water?" I'm like Uh no. He says "Well give him some water in a bottle. Milk makes them phlegmy..." I said "You know breastmilk isn't like formula." "He says "I know but its still good for them to have a little water.."









Heh, well your dad is HALF right. I read that almost everyone has at least a very slight allergy to cow's milk and that usually it doesn't affect everyone, but does make you a little phlegmy. That's why they say not to drink it when you are sick.

But BREAST milk is NOT cow's milk and can't make a baby plegmy


----------



## jennadk3

I thought you ladies would get a big kick out of this one.
Last week DH's grandparents came back from a month vacation, so we invited them over for dinner and to see the babe. DH's grandma says to me : "Are you still feeding him?" .. Without missing a beat, I said "Nope, we let him starve"..
Now I know she meant if I was still breastfeeding but I just couldn't resist!
Also, she couldn't quite grasp the fact that I had a surprise UC (midwife didnt make it on time) and she asked me "So who spanked him on the butt when he came out then"!!! LOL


----------



## Smokering

I caught up with an ex-colleague yesterday, whose wife had just had a baby. It was a bit of a revelation to be out in the 'real world' of non-AP parenting for once--'He went to stay with his grandmother and she held him all the time, so now he wants to be held and won't go down to sleep. She's such a ---. We put him in the other room so he wouldn't wake us up, though'.







And 'Well, the way my mother put it is if you see a grownup, it's not like you can tell if he was breastfeed or bottle-fed'. Uh. So not the point? You can't necessarily tell if his mother did cocaine during pregnancy either--still not a good thing! That was a depressing catchup.









On the bright side though, a mainstream friend of mine came over last night and seemed surprisingly supportive. She swore she'd never seen someone breastfeed standing up before (!), but thought it was cool; and said 'So she spends all day in your arms, and sleeps with you? That's so cool! My parents brought me home from the hospital and said 'Here's your room''.


----------



## 1littlebit

This thread just cracks me up... im working my way through the old one now. anyways i had two this week. first one was from the doctor at ds 4mos wbv i had mentioned that he was always so hungry lately

'well hes a big baby so hes probably ready for solids' .. uh... what does that have to do with anything hes was big when he was born too.

and my favorite. my family and friends know im relactating and am now hoping ds will nurse instead of me just pumping. i mentioned this to a friend who said

friend- what? you trying to rebreastfeed him? and you just leave your boob out so he can have it when ever he wants?

me- yes

friend- i think thats sexual abuse you cant start to breastfeed after you already stopped.

wtf?!?!


----------



## JustJamie

My dad recently told me to dip the baby's pacifier in honey...I told him the baby doesn't take a pacifier, and current recommendations are to avoid honey before the age of 1 cause of botulism..."Well I'm not talking the whole bottle, just put a little on your finger then!"

Um...what part of "avoid honey" is confusing?


----------



## shelley4

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JustJamie* 
Um...what part of "avoid honey" is confusing?

my MIL/FIL also told me to do this when DS was a baby, and when i told them about the whole botulism thing, they honestly thought i was lying to them! again, they thought just a little would be fine (because that's what they did?)


----------



## CowsRock

Quote:


Originally Posted by *1littlebit* 
my family and friends know im relactating and am now hoping ds will nurse instead of me just pumping.

Just wanted to send you some support and good vibes for this. Lactation is fascinating! Good luck!


----------



## CowsRock

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jennadk3* 
"So who spanked him on the butt when he came out then"!!! LOL

I'm not sure whether to







or







Maybe a combo of both. I always feel a little bad when talking to some older people who were given such off ideas, when they realize the natural-ness of some things I say there is often a little sadness there. But it is what it is and I just try to give a different picture as gently as I can. My mom has had several of those sad moments where she is quiet for a minute and then says something like, we weren't told about all these options. I know she is second guessing her birth of me, I'm just grateful she was able to experience a home birth and I hope it was healing in some way for her. Sorry this is sooooooo OT.


----------



## CowsRock

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
"Actually, it's more that he's just now getting used to occasionally *not* being held. Remember, he had 9 whole months of being supported 24 hours a day 7 days a week. He's only had 6 tiny little helpless weeks in the big world. You try going from your comfy bed to climbing a mountain and see how you like it when someone tries to say that you're going to be spoiled by having a safety harness."

Oh if only mama brain would allow this come back to stay in my memory! I like it.


----------



## CowsRock

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ishyfishie* 
"OMG, baby needs to stay wrapped up, they can't regulate their temperature so it's very important to keep them wrapped up and warm!" Like my body heat does nothing for her, right? We hadn't even undressed her, just opened up the swaddling blanket and her little shirt. As soon as she left, we went back to what we were doing and she breastfed like a champ.

Grrrrrrr, mama's body is the supreme temperature regulator and is the #1 reason why babe and mama should be together and skin-to-skin so mama's body can do its job of temperature and breath regulation. It scares me the advice that comes from "professionals" to have the desired end result right but to attack the best path to the desired end result...so confusing to mom's who might have limited information/research.

But hey, I'm so happy you did know this already and did your thing, and so sweet that you guys got your relationship off to a great start from the very beginning! Love to hear that part of it!!


----------



## butterfly_mommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CowsRock* 
I'm not sure whether to







or







Maybe a combo of both. I always feel a little bad when talking to some older people who were given such off ideas, when they realize the natural-ness of some things I say there is often a little sadness there. But it is what it is and I just try to give a different picture as gently as I can. My mom has had several of those sad moments where she is quiet for a minute and then says something like, we weren't told about all these options. I know she is second guessing her birth of me, I'm just grateful she was able to experience a home birth and I hope it was healing in some way for her. Sorry this is sooooooo OT.









I agree with this. Both of my grandmothers were actually told at the births of their children not to breastfeed and "that is what poor people do"...which my mom's mom was at the time







Also my mother was not supported at all in her breastfeeding relationship with me. All of them are fascinated with me breastfeeding and are very supportive and tell me their stories of be discouraged from BF almost every time I see them...it is sad. My step dad actually said the other day "I think if your mom could breastfeed (my DS) she would in a heartbeat"

My grandmother's also say "I wish I knew about these things" when discussing my AP way of life. However my one grandmother is always asking me if she can buy DS a seat to sit in at her place so "you can have a break" meanwhile she just wants to hold him all the time when we are there


----------



## CowsRock

I know, it is nuts isn't it? On one hand I want to dispel all those myths and bad advice they were given because I feel angry that they didn't get the chances I'm getting, that they missed out on these moments I'm having...well I guess I missed out on them too, from the baby point of view anyway. But on the other hand I think it is important to be very gentle with them. If I missed out on what I'm experiencing now, I would feel really bad and I try to remember that when we talk and I try to be as gentle as I can. My mom talks to me from the very best place though. I don't want to sound like I'm dismissing those people who have to deal with people shoving horrible advice at them and demanding they do things differently. My mom doesn't do that and she really thinks she is giving me sound advice and when I respond gently she truly hears me and doesn't push...not everyone has that relationship and I know that...just wanted to make sure those who have to deal with the pushy realize I know that is different - that totally sucks and is so hard to deal with.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Smokering* 
On the bright side though, a mainstream friend of mine came over last night and seemed surprisingly supportive. She swore she'd never seen someone breastfeed standing up before (!), but thought it was cool; and said 'So she spends all day in your arms, and sleeps with you? That's so cool! My parents brought me home from the hospital and said 'Here's your room''.









AP mama in training! Save up your parenting stuff for if she decides to have kids.


----------



## MCatLvrMom2A&X

This happened last night.

Yet again the subject of circ came up between me, my mom and my youngest brother. Keep in mind that my family is Baptist in the south.

My brother was teasing me as he usually does and had me look at a Bible verse one that was speaking of having it done on the 8th day. Well I went back in and said yeah and he was Jewish.

So what does my mom come off with.....she said and I quote "Well I'm Jewish







I swear I think she would stand on her head and fart her socks off to get me to realize how wrong I was in leaving ds intact.


----------



## 1littlebit

lol why do people have such an issue when you dont slice and dice you DSs ? i have a circ link on my facebook and and a think about leaving my ds intact. someone sent me a facebook message that said i should take that off b/c it makes it seems like im against circumcision and its not like they cut of something that you need. how could you do that to DS now hes going to hate you because he looks different! I wrote back uh yeah easy for you to say your a girl its illegal to chop up your genitals. and im pretty confident DS wont hate for letting him keep his whole penis. ugh!

oo after i can home fuming b/c the doc tried to retract DS my aunt and my grandmother said i may _think_ that she shouldnt but shes a doc so she obviously knows whats best. uh...because you become infallible on all things medical when you can put MD behind your name? my family loves doctors. they also said that i should be lucky the doctor wants to do a C section. I am being stubborn by fighting him on it and he obviously knows best. family... lol


----------



## ema-adama

I'm still working through my anger at the following comments. Essentially they are implied criticisms of DH's and my parenting style.

FIL and step MIL who are both medical doctors, FIL being a professor and vice dean, told me that I am not intelligent enough to decide when to vax.... He also said that I have to have very convincing proof of dangers in vaxing from reliable sources in order to go against what 99% of the population are doing. I pointed out that of all the people who I know who are vaxing, they certainly are not doing it out of a sense of conviction and most don't even know what diseases they are vaxing against!!! And I don't have to offer him any proof for my decisions as DH's mum.... Silly man

That was the most annoying... but this couple don't stop telling me that in Denmark babies are wrapped up and put outside to cry themselves to sleep (I have no idea if this is true or not). Pretty much every time DS is picked up this is mentioned..

Also when their dog was barking hysterically and DS started to cry FIL said: "well at least we know DS can hear well"!!!







Idiot, there has been no question as to whether DS can hear or not. He should have put dog away until she calmed down.

Ummmm, I could basically keep going, but it's all just old school stuff and because they are doctors they think they can tell me what to do. They are just super conservative and are having a hard time accepting strange ideas like cosleeping, nursing on demand, baby wearing, etc. I think they honestly believe that I am ruining their grandchild


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## Eresh

I love this thread. And I have a couple









When I was six months pregnant, I took my car in to get the VA safety and emissions inspections. The auto mechanic looked at me and said "You shouldn't be out here. You should be at home!" Wow ... he's a mechanic AND a doctor!

When DS was seven days old I went to the pharmacy to pick something up. I was standing in line and the man behind me asked how old DS was. So I told him seven days. He then told me I shouldn't take DS out because he'd get sick and die. Huh??

And I can't count the number of times I've been told to just add rice cereal to the baby's bottle to get him to sleep through the night. Um .. no! He's bf and honestly, with cosleeping, I really don't mind feeding him in the middle of the night.


----------



## ThreeBeans

Oh, this is a good one from last week when we were having a heat wave.

I was in the supermarket with the baby in a carrier and a lil ol' lady came up to coo over him.

Then she looked down at his feet.

*shock, gasp* "He doesn't have any shoes!"

Me: "Nope, doesn't need 'em"

Her: "







You better put shoes on him or







he'll grow up like that!







"

Me:


----------



## LaurenB

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ThreeBeans* 
Her: "







You better put shoes on him or







he'll grow up like that!







"

Me:









Grow up barefoot? Yes, and if you don't give him a mustache now, he'll grow up like _that_. Same for neckties.


----------



## elmh23

So if we never put shoes on our babies, they'll never learn how to go purchase and wear some? They'll HAVE to stay barefoot? Intersting.


----------



## Elijahs Momma

I was in Joann Fabrics the other day and I had ds in the sling and he was nursing most of the time we were in there. When we were getting ready to check out he started to get fussy b/c he wanted out of the sling so me and my sil went and ate at the food court (our Joann is in a mall). A little bit later I went back to Joanns to get a gift for my mother's birthday since they had some pretty nick-nacks on sale and whenever I was checking out that cashier said "Did that mean mommy finally get you something to eat?"







: I was so shocked that I didn't say anything but I'm sure I had a very puzzled/angry look on my face.

Oh, and the day before that a lady from the census bureau came to ask question and ds comes running in the kitchen in a bg 3.0 and she asked if that was some sort of training pants and I informed her it was a cd and she looked at him and said "Oh you should be using the potty by now!" and he's only 18 months.

It's just really annoying that people think they have the right to tell you all these things since you're a parent or b/c they raised their kids a certain way! ugh....


----------



## Mommy2Austin

I officially got the start of the solids talk today from my sister. I mentioned that DS2 has his first tooth already and she was holding him so she started telling "Oh so your ready for the real stuff now!" I said something off hand like "Not until he can sit on his own" because I didnt want to listen to them arguing with me on delaying solids. It'll be interesting to see when they find out I plan to nurse to at least 1 (I'd love to make it to 2) and solids won't come into play until he shows some kind of interest and he has the teeth to chew. One tooth isnt quite enough for that.


----------



## sunnymw

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ema-adama* 

That was the most annoying... but this couple don't stop telling me that in Denmark babies are wrapped up and put outside to cry themselves to sleep (I have no idea if this is true or not). Pretty much every time DS is picked up this is mentioned..


My mom said that in Germany, when the weather is nice, they used to take a napping baby and sit outside with it (in the shade) because the fresh air was good for them. Maybe that's what they are mistakenly referring to? There was no crying involved though









Quote:


Originally Posted by *elmh23* 
So if we never put shoes on our babies, they'll never learn how to go purchase and wear some? They'll HAVE to stay barefoot? Intersting.

Cool!


----------



## New_Natural_Mom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MCatLvrMom2A&X* 
I swear I think she would stand on her head and fart her socks off to get me to realize how wrong I was in leaving ds intact.

I. almost. peed. my. pants.







:


----------



## New_Natural_Mom

I am SO SICK of DH's grandmother saying that crying is good - it exercises the lungs. She is old and I choose to ignore it no matter how much it







: me. Then last time we went to visit MIL and her mother asked if we were on solids yet. Ummm, DS is 9 WEEKS OLD!!! We are delaying solids b/c I am allergic to many foods. I explained this and said we weren't introducing solids until 8-9 months. After the gasps and horrified expressions they said they both gave cereal at 3 months "because the babies were just SO hungry all the time." So I stopped the discussion there.

Then MIL says, "But (DH) isn't allergic to any foods."

I just looked at her and said, "I am. A lot."

WTH? I have been with her son for 7 years. I know she is cold & kinda reserved, but really, in those 7 years you must have noticed there is a lot I can't eat.

But this is also the woman, who when reminded her husband actually pinned the diaper TO my DH instead of ON him replied, "Well, it didn't kill him, did it."

Oh dear universe give me strength to accept the people I cannot change...







:


----------



## GiGiQ

I've been a mother for all of 2.5 weeks now, and for the first week my mother came to visit. She wasn't invited, and I had even explicitly asked her not to come until we were ready, but she came to town and got a hotel as soon as I told her the baby was born, anyway. I mostly put her to work helping my husband unpack since we'd just moved into a new house, but she did try to "help" with the baby enough to leave me wondering how I survived to adulthood.

I asked her to pick up some oatmeal for me at the grocery store, for my milk supply. I explained how to get things from the bulk foods section. I drew a map to the store, 2 miles away. 4 hours later, she came back with a babies'r'us bag full of Gerber oat cereal, plastic bowls and spoons, and 8oz bottles so we could give my 3-day-old cereal and water.

It's over 90 degrees here everyday, and if I let my mother hold the baby while I showered, I'd come back to a sweaty baby literally piled under blankets and towels.

Mom thinks it's a good idea to change diapers on a scedule, whether needed or not, and doesn't change them unless it's "time." She also thinks cloth diapers are child abuse and kept buying disposables and hiding them in the house for when I come to my senses.

Mom is also telling weird lies about my daughter, telling people she has curly red hair like my father (it is red for now, but not curly, and it took genes from both my dark haired but red bearded husband and myself to produce a redhead) or that she's named after some distant ancestor on her side from 100 years ago when in fact she's named for my husband's grandmother, who is alive and well.

oh hey. While I was typing this I just got my first public annoyance. I'm in a quiet corner of my regular coffee shop and baby was a little fussy from gas and having trouble staying latched. A woman I sort of vaguely know who has an 11-year-old and is self-appointed Supermom heard Rina squeaking and said at top volume "I think I'm being paged!" and came scurrying over to... what, help me breast feed? Drawing the attention of strangers and acquaintances who were otherwise oblivious. I just smiled at her and said "we're kind of busy, let's talk later," and she went away, but who thinks a woman with a bare breast and a squirming infant is looking for chit-chat, or even worse, advice?


----------



## chirp

so we go to my parents house for father's day.
(my mom has a history of trying to control every little thing.)

we're sitting outside in the late afternoon...
(under some trees at a table with a canopy.)

mom says: oh sit where i'm sitting under the canopy.

me: no i'm fine.

mom: but he'll get sunburnt.

me: no it's late afternoon, he'll be fine.

mom: i don't want e to get sunburnt, but i 'll just say I told you so.

grrr. does she think i haven't had the baby outside at all. that i haven't thought about sunburn. i could have replied that i'm not her (she left me outside on the beach in hawaii when i was three days old and almost lost me to cps.) but i held back.

the look on her face though, i mean, she didn't want E to get sunburnt...but she was admitting that there would be a benefit to it...her getting to be right.
i was shocked by that.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GiGiQ* 
I've been a mother for all of 2.5 weeks now, and for the first week my mother came to visit. She wasn't invited, and I had even explicitly asked her not to come until we were ready, but she came to town and got a hotel as soon as I told her the baby was born, anyway. I mostly put her to work helping my husband unpack since we'd just moved into a new house, but she did try to "help" with the baby enough to leave me wondering how I survived to adulthood.









That's a heck of a lot of stuff to pick up in only 2.5 weeks. Hopefully, it'll fill some sort of quota on stupidity and you'll be free and clear for the next few years.


----------



## KristyDi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GiGiQ* 
Mom thinks it's a good idea to change diapers on a scedule, whether needed or not, and doesn't change them unless it's "time." She also thinks cloth diapers are child abuse and kept buying disposables and hiding them in the house for when I come to my senses.

And I thought feeding on a schedule didn't make sense. That's a whole other level.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GiGiQ* 
oh hey. While I was typing this I just got my first public annoyance. I'm in a quiet corner of my regular coffee shop and baby was a little fussy from gas and having trouble staying latched. A woman I sort of vaguely know who has an 11-year-old and is self-appointed *Supermom heard Rina squeaking and said at top volume "I think I'm being paged!" and came scurrying over to*... what, help me breast feed? Drawing the attention of strangers and acquaintances who were otherwise oblivious. I just smiled at her and said "we're kind of busy, let's talk later," and she went away, but who thinks a woman with a bare breast and a squirming infant is looking for chit-chat, or even worse, advice?

I marvel at the kind of arrogance that it takes to believe that when another woman's child cries you are being "paged." Wow, just Wow!


----------



## LilyPod

Well, I'm very young and don't plan on becoming a mama for years to come, but I've DEFINITELY heard some stupid comments on parenting.









- My freshmen biology teacher was absolutely persistent that I should be a doctor, because I was "smart enough." When I told her I wanted to be a nurse-midwife (We were discussing what pathways I should take for future science classes), she was insistent that I should be a doctor, citing how "bright" and "hardworking" I am. As if doctors are the epitome of intelligence and midwives are a class of women who aren't exclusive enough to go to the haven of intelligence that is medical school.







:

When I explained that I would be much happier empowering and _connecting_ with women in a gentle way by supporting them in natural childbirth in a relaxed setting, I got a blank stare.









- When I casually mentioned to my mom that I was leaning toward becoming a CPM/LM instead of going to nursing school and becoming a CNM (b/c I really don't want to practice in a hospital setting, and I was just learning about different types of midwives) she immediately panicked (She's an RN) and told me, in a dead serious voice, that I HAD to get a nursing degree or I would end up stuck in rural Alaska with "radical" people who wouldn't pay me with money.









I calmly explained that CPMs are licensed in a good number of states (22?) and can very well charge money, but I don't think it registered. She's still insistent that I get a nursing degree. Sigh...

- I did a speech about the benefits of breastfeeding for a class, and when I mentioned it to a friend before lunch, her nose wrinkled up and she looked at me, disgusted:

her: "Eww! That's so gross! Who wants a kid hanging off their boob?!"

me: "It's the natural and healthy way to feed an infant and toddler. You know, breastfed babies have lower rates of infectious diseases and infant mortality."

her: "yeah, well I bet none of those things are as bad as the diseases you get from breastfeeding!"































me: "Have you actually researched this?"

her: "nooo...."

But the kicker was this, towards the end of the conversation:

me: "You know the biological purpose of breasts is to feed your children, right?"

her: "No, breasts are for sex! They harden during orgasms to turn guys on."

Thanks alot, society.







:

(When I asked her how she supposed children survived for thousands of years before bottles were invented I got no answer







)

- When I told my mother (Who circ'd my brother) that I thought circumcision was cruel and unusual I got the usual "It's for sanitary reasons," "easier to keep clean," "that way they don't spread infection"







My dad just spluttered out something about normalcy when I told him. Funnily enough, both of them think female circ is horrible, abusive, violent and cruel (And I completely agree), because it's so painful and permanently mutilates the genitilia of a defenseless young girl.

And what do they think male circ does?! Why is it so accepted in this country to slice poor baby boys and oppose slicing baby girls? Can we not really wrap our minds around the oh-so-radical idea of respecting children's bodies, no matter WHAT their gender?







: I live in a very pro-circ area, so this especially makes me furious.









Speaking of which, my mom got my ears pierced when I was THREE in the midst of me crying and screaming. When I asked her why, years later, she flippantly answered that it was a "cultural thing" at the time. Yeah, I had my body permanently altered and endured a traumatic experience (I still vividly remember crying and running away from the lady with the piercing gun at some mall shop







) and several subsequent infections for the purpose of "culture." Thanks, mom.







:


----------



## prettypixels

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
I told my mother today about my painful decision to start giving a pacifier to my 8-week-old in the car because she screams during car rides. She said to me, quite matter of factly:

"Do it the natural way. In the 1800s, they used to give babies a cloth soaked in sugar water to keep them quiet."

I was so shocked my jaw dropped. I immediately snapped back with:

"Well, they also used to give their babies Laudanum!"

You know, I actually don't think a cloth with sugar water is that horrible an idea. My baby DESPISED the car; it'd be better than having her scream the whole time! Breast milk has sugar, so that's not an issue... and water? No big deal. Hmm. Seriously, I might try that for my next noob who will probably hate the car too!

I think I'll skip the laudanum though...


----------



## Ellp

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ema-adama* 
That was the most annoying... but this couple don't stop telling me that in Denmark babies are wrapped up and put outside to cry themselves to sleep (I have no idea if this is true or not). Pretty much every time DS is picked up this is mentioned..


My neighbor across the street is a new immigrant from Russia and she mentioned that she does this with her baby (now 1). Get them to sleep and lay them down in a stroller on their back deck (fenced). Put the baby monitor on and you can do whatever you like noise-wise inside the house.

She said this is what they do in Russia and it makes the babies sleep longer. In winter you just bundle them up really well!

I don't know if she realized that we get wildcats, raccoons and bears in our area...


----------



## macca333

Sort of in the same vein my Dad always calls my daughter by the wrong name, he is not that old and dittery that he can't think what her name is before speaking andf getting it right. Four years of correcting him is a bit muc me thinks !!!







:


----------



## CowsRock

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GiGiQ* 
I've been a mother for all of 2.5 weeks now...

I won't even quote the whole thing and will just say geeze-louise and offer you a billion







Hang in there!


----------



## shelley4

overheard this morning, re: the proposed anti-spanking laws here in canada (which i think are







by the way!)

Mom 1: i can't believe they are trying to pass that law!
Dad: well, i think smacking them around when they're young is how it should be
Mom 2: yeah, when they are too young to tell anyone about it! LOL
Mom 1 and Dad: ha ha, so true!
Dad: well i spanked my kids when they were little, and one of them is a teenager now, and he knows to _respect_ me!
Mom 2: if you don't do it when they're young, they will grow up and never listen to a thing you say....

um, arg?!!? i think there is a big difference between learning to obey your father and *respecting* him! it took me yeeeeeears to forgive my father for hitting me when i was young. i think the trust is forever gone, there is no way i'd leave him alone with my kids.


----------



## amberskyfire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *shelley4* 
overheard this morning, re: the proposed anti-spanking laws here in canada (which i think are







 by the way!)

Mom 1: i can't believe they are trying to pass that law!
Dad: well, i think smacking them around when they're young is how it should be
Mom 2: yeah, when they are too young to tell anyone about it! LOL
Mom 1 and Dad: ha ha, so true!
Dad: well i spanked my kids when they were little, and one of them is a teenager now, and he knows to _respect_ me!
Mom 2: if you don't do it when they're young, they will grow up and never listen to a thing you say....

um, arg?!!? i think there is a big difference between learning to obey your father and *respecting* him! it took me yeeeeeears to forgive my father for hitting me when i was young. i think the trust is forever gone, there is no way i'd leave him alone with my kids.


Oh that is so horrible. I got tears at "well, i think smacking them around when they're young is how it should be. Mom 2: yeah, when they are too young to tell anyone about it! LOL"










My father smacked me around, too. I never had respect for him then and I barely have any for him now.


----------



## Ellp

Whats this about an anti-spanking law? I haven't heard about it and I'm in Canada...

I haven't actually seen any public spanking around here though so it might be a moot point hereabouts, but its good to have something legal about it.


----------



## slf

the other day my MIL told me DS wasn't sitting or rolling over yet because he spend too much time in the sling instead of sitting in a baby seat >


----------



## jaramirez19

My baby is only a month old but I hear it all day every day. we unfortunately live with my MIL right now so it never goes away. Every day she tells my son in spanish everytime she sees him that he's freezing and he needs to tell his mom (me sitting right next to her) that he's cold, I need to put socks on him (he's a preemie and NO socks fit him let alone pants and shoes) because he's cold, she even tries to put them on him every day after i tell her they are all too big, and they fall off, she will ask me if his stomach is hard and then i tell her no and she proceeds to unwrap him and feel his stomach because he hadn't pooped yet that day (umm hello i just told you NO) and he looks like everyone in her family according to her when in actuality he looks just like me and my sister. She goes on and on about it then I correct her and she ignores it and goes on some more. I will proceed to try and feed him some more after he's done eating but still wanting to suck and she will tell me he's not hungry and then when he doesnt take it she will say to him in her annoying baby voice that she knows he's not hungry and she tried to tell me but i don't know. i realize this woman has 7 kids and alot of them are still young (me and my husband are 22 and 23) but that doesnt make her the parenting guru. i dont believe in the way she parented and alot of the stuff she believes. you should see the look she gives me when i wear him in my wrap. you can probably tell i have issues with living with this woman. she's nice just not when she's telling me how to raise my baby. i know what i am doing but i feel like she thinks i am a big dumb dumb. oh and i put his diaper on the wrong way too and i told her to leave me alone. ha! i can't wait to move out!


----------



## 1littlebit

haha my inlaws are nutjobs so i feel ya! hang in there... and make sure the sarcastic (and funny) responses you think of when she uses the stupid baby voice dont actually come out. ive done that... satisfying? yes! but not so great for the relationship.


----------



## shelley4

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ellp* 
Whats this about an anti-spanking law? I haven't heard about it and I'm in Canada...t.


it's a proposed law (not passed yet) that would make spanking illegal.. it would be child abuse (which it IS!). i really hope it passes!


----------



## HappyFox05

Wow, some of you have some relatives or friends who are really in the "How are you still alive?" category. Is it a UA violation to say that?


----------



## Jaci

I've read all of this thread now (still working on the other one) and there are some doozies here!

I've received a lot of similar comments as people here. One woman told me "Just don't breastfeed to three, like one person I know!"







"You know, because they get everything they need by six months." Umm, no, if that were the case, my boobs would just stop working at six months. I did explain to her that Connor would be BFing until he was ready to stop, and the AAP says to do it until age 1 at least and the WHO says to go until 2 minimum, and if a big organization like that says age 2, I'm taking that advice!

Just a few weekends ago again I heard "Just don't be like so-and-so's sister and nurse until age three." I gave them my WTF look and someone mentions that the daughter has cavity problems because she breastfeeds." Noo, she has cavity problems because she breastfeeds to sleep and the milk pools in her mouth.

Then there is my mom. I love my mom but sometimes she drives me crazy. It started with cloth diapers. Every time I told her we were doing it, she'd roll her eyes and say "We'll see how long that lasts." and kept insisting she was going to buy sposies for her house. Eventually, when DS was about 4 months, she actually mentioned she was proud of us for sticking with them, bout time! Plus we have had the rice cereal argument more times that I can count. Connor isn't sleeping through the night-RICE CEREAL, Connor is eating once an hour-RICE CEREAL, Connor has been really fussy-RICE CEREAL.







NO, we started him with avocados and are currently delaying all solids because he just isn't ready! At least she has assured me up and down that she will NOT feed him something without my permission (that doesn't keep her from asking if she can give him a bite of a popsicle, but when I say no, she doesn't push the issue).

My MIL also suggested putting DS's soother in sugar water to get him to take it better. I put a stop to that right away. Then FIL keeps "asking Connor" if he wants to come home with them. Connor is not even eight months and NO, he cannot go home with you, unless by some miracle you have started to lactate!


----------



## justthinkn

FWIW, breastfeeding to sleep doesn't cause cavities, though not brushing teeth before hand (assuming solids have started) and bottlefeeding to sleep can. There are protective qualities to breastmilk. From what I've read, genetics really plays the largest role in infant cavities.

Check out kellymom.com for the research to back this up.


----------



## newmommy7-08

He's 9 days old and already it begins...

Today from my MIL...
You know it's ok to let him fuss... no, I'm sorry it's not. Yes it is ok to let him make noises, but if he sounds distressed then he needs me.
You shouldn't hold him all the time, he'll smell your milk and will never be able to relax... WTF so I just imaine how much more soundly he sleeps ON ME as opposed to in the bassinet?

Then DH's aunt met him for the first time today. She was holding him out from her long ways and when he woke up that way he started screaming... not whimpering... but out and out screaming, he doesn't like that position, he feels completely insecure please don't do it. she cuddled him up to her just till he calmed and then held him out again, she wanted him to open his eyes... UGH! People are just incredible. Then she handed him off to grandma who held him for nearly 2 1/2 hours... Ummm NO do NOT keep my newborn from me for 2 1/2 freakin hours.

NExt Saturday is going to be fun when they play pass the baby at the annual 4th of July BBQ. DH is going to have to run interference. Let's hope he's REALLY hungry that day!


----------



## Maeve

That's another reason why I like to wear my babies. People don't try to grab them from your arms.


----------



## newmommy7-08

Just remembered another... PLEASE do NOT PRESUME that just because my son is crying I am getting frazzled. The ONLY time since he was born I've honestly been frazzled was the first night after birth when he would not nurse... that was on 2 hours sleep after 18 hours of labor. MIL told baby to sssshhh when he was crying in his car seat today, "since we didn't want mommy getting frazzled". Thank you I handle stress a helluva lot better than that!


----------



## Nanethiel

My mother said something really weird today. She was talking about introducing solids to my son and I told her that he's still perfectly fine being exclusively breastfed.

She replied to me with "You really should give him some fruit now, because breast milk must be getting boring for him."

Eh?!


----------



## MCatLvrMom2A&X

since bm is strongly influenced by the foods mama eats and it changes flavor depending on mama's diet I would imagine it is one of the most "unboring" foods there is out there.


----------



## amberskyfire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maeve* 
That's another reason why I like to wear my babies. People don't try to grab them from your arms.

Yeah, put your baby in a sling. I'm so terrified to let others hold a new baby. They are so young, they don't understand what's going on. Plus, they don't have any kind of immune system yet. People will not ask to hold him if he's in a sling or even better - a wrap.

If anyone asks, I always say that my daughter is terrified of other people, but that I'd be glad to let them hold her when she grows out of it.


----------



## RedPony

I LOVED the old thread!









For some reason, my parents and in-laws have laid off in this last year or so of my DD's life.







I think I got really good at ignoring their inane, impractical, and down right unhelpful suggestions!

The last time I dared (stupid, I know) to bring up a parenting issue to my mom it was in regards to my DD, then 18 months or so, and her poor sleeping. DD has never been a consistent sleeper and we've co-slept since day one. Anyway, mom's solution - "I just wouldn't get into bed with her anymore." At all, for anything, no nursing, no morning cuddles, no snuggles at night when DD is afraid.







And then her emphatic, "I never didn't go to you kids!" lest I start thinking mom left me alone to cry.







I can clearly remember going into my parents' room after a nightmare and being "allowed" to sleep on the floor next to their bed. Mom even put her hand down for me to hold. Wow, so caring.


----------



## Maggirayne

I've got a new one! Don't forget the comebacks, that was a good part of the old thread.

I was in the hospital for the weekend for surgery on my broken arm. I was blessed and determined to be in and out ASAP--I was admitted for about 8 hours. After surgery, the nurse very seriously sits down and gives me several reasons why she thinks I should stay. Granted, after surgery I shivered uncontrollably for a little while. But I asked for my husband and then asked, I think, when I could go home. But even before surgery, the surgeon had said I could get home midnight-1 am. He was very supportive of BFing too! So it likely said something on my chart.
So she is very serious and says, "You just came out of surgery, you could develop uncontrollable pain; the hospital is nice and quite; _you can have a night away_."
I was just smiling and nodding, so no smarts remarks, but







drop
I am trying to rest, while I am at the hospital. I was concerned how co-sleeping would work when we got home (I think my husband likes it even more now that he's on nighttime diaper duty







). I had not been able to sleep longer than 15 minutes at a time (I checked every.single.time I woke up) between someone coming in to check my vitals(a very sweet CNA!) or sign more papers or something! Or I was waking up and asking my husband to call and check on MIL and baby(not sure how many times I asked, more than he called







) and crying missing her. I never cried for the pain. My MIL is wonderful, btw, I was not worried about her; I just knew my baby would need me when she went to sleep and woke in the night.

But the nurse was telling me we could have a night away at the hospital, while I'm trying to get comfortable on a hospital bed, and my husband is lying over on a cot. Not quite how I envision a 'night away'. Hmm, we could start a whole new side business for hospitals, "Come get a night away at your local hospital!" The food is cheaper than the Radisson.









Oh yeah, and I was also engorged for not having nursed for 9 hours. I pumped and dumped because of the x-rays, which I later read was unnecessary.









The same nurse also said she wouldn't BF while taking Percocet. I guess she's never done post-op recovery for c-sections. As if I'm going to stop nursing for a whole week! Hello, plugged ducts, mastitis and low supply!

We got home and got in bed just before baby woke up and needed to nurse.







Waking up the next morning to our baby smiling at us and snuggling and blowing raspberries on my tummy--







:














:




























:


----------



## DogwoodFairy

While at my MIL's a couple weeks ago, ds crawled to her dog's toy bin, and pulled out one of the doggy toys, and promptly stuck it in his mouth. I'm not really a germ/dirt nazi, but doggy toys are pretty yucky, as far as I'm concerned...So I took it from him, and said, "Nah, that ones yucky, lets chew on one of your toys".

At which my MIL piped up with: "Well, if dog saliva can heal wounds, I don't see why its bad for him", and then - THEN: "Its not like Daisy[the dog] licks her butt before she chews on her toys".

Oh really? Can you guarantee that?


----------



## riverside knitter

We spent the (too) long weekend with my MIL who must have asked me a million times if my 3 month old was on cereal yet. Nope, just breast milk thanks! She seemed perplexed that I have no intentions of introducing anything other than breast milk for at least 3 more months. This is the same lady who is totally fat-phobic and commented immediately on how fat my LO was getting, and not necessarily in a positive way. She also tried to take Nora out of my arms more than once in addition to constantly asking to hold her when I was in the middle of nursing her. When she did hold her for 20 minutes or so while I was in the shower, Nora got really fussy. Why? Because Grandma, who somehow managed to raise 4 kids of her own, didn't think that maybe her diaper needed changing! Oh well, at least she didn't have any problem with me washing diapers in her machine.


----------



## amberskyfire

Same here with the starting of the solids. My daughter isn't even 4 months old yet and the baby development book that I own says it's already time I started her on solids.







The kid can't even sit up!


----------



## nolonger

ds isn't ready for solids at almost six months, but if you go by the "signs of readiness" some people use, he is definitely ready to start posting on the internet, lol! he doesn't grab at my plate anywhere nearly as much as he grabs at my keyboard.


----------



## butterfly_mommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *noordinaryspider* 
ds isn't ready for solids at almost six months, but if you go by the "signs of readiness" some people use, he is definitely ready to start posting on the internet, lol! he doesn't grab at my plate anywhere nearly as much as he grabs at my keyboard.

Yes my DS too







Actually last weekend I was out for lunch with friends who have a 7 mon old DD who they started on rice cereal at 5 mons. Anyway the dad asked me if Julian was still only on BM and I said yes and he asked if "that ever bothered me having to nurse him all the time" I answered no not at all (actually I am happy that I don't have to think about or prepare his food at all) and then he said "Well Emma was grabbing at food on the table all the time so they knew they had to start solids" I said "Yeah while Julian is always grabbing at my lap top but he is not getting one of those"


----------



## Mommy2Austin

I started having a dip in my supply the last couple days from a diet change and so I said something about it around my mother....ugh big mistake. First thing that flies out of her mouth "Do you need me to go get formula?"...Uh no mom! I told her I just needed to nurse and pump some more and eat some oatmeal.

So then my older sister comes over and she's playing with DS2 and start talking to him saying "You're gonna be starting on cereal and fruits soon aren't ya?" and before I could open my mouth my mother says "No he's not. She won't let him. I've already tried." LOL At least she's finally gotten the message!

I really hate that they think their pillars of wisdom when it comes to feeding my children. I've done a few years of research making sure I'm doing what I think is best for them...I'm not just picking up on a passing fad.


----------



## sparkly

Asking if our then 6-week old was eating solid foods yet. That made me realize that leaving him with some of the people we know will be scary, especially anyone in the baby boomer generation (where they'd give tiny babies cereal through a bottle to "help them sleep").


----------



## FunkSoulMommy

I just got the greatest one... my grandmother explained to me that the reason my little man was fussy in the evenings was because it hurts babies to be held when they're going to sleep... thats funny since he only screams when I try to put him down


----------



## anne1140

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LilyPod* 
But the kicker was this, towards the end of the conversation:

me: "You know the biological purpose of breasts is to feed your children, right?"

her: "No, breasts are for sex! They harden during orgasms to turn guys on."

Thanks alot, society.







:


----------



## bigeyes

LilyPod;11512233
me: "You know the biological purpose of breasts is to feed your children said:


> Oh dear. This is just begging for a UAV.
> 
> Stupid isn't quite the word, but I can't think of a better one that wouldn't be considered _name-calling.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _How do people get these strange ideas?


----------



## njbeachgirl

Thank goodness.... a way to pass these last few days before baby#2 arrives.... reading stupid comments! thanks for the new thread!

I'm sure I will be back with some of my own after I'm out and about with my newborn and 18mo for a while.

I bet the first thing I'll hear will be "wow.... looks like you have your hands full"


----------



## amberskyfire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bigeyes* 
Oh dear. This is just begging for a UAV.

Stupid isn't quite the word, but I can't think of a better one that wouldn't be considered _name-calling.









_How do people get these strange ideas?

Honestly? I think it's because of a combination of sex taboos and school. Kids should be learning this stuff from their parents, but a lot of parents today are too embarrassed to talk to their kids about sex, so they wait for them to learn about it in school. Unfortunately, the teachers are not allowed to talk to kids about sex other than teaching them the textbook info, so they end up learning it form their equally clueless-about-sex friends







: I think every stupid thing I've ever learned in my life I learned from a teenage friend.


----------



## aurora_skys

I still only have stupid pregnancy advice so far so heres some new gems from my brilliant know it all neighbor...

When I casually remarked that I hadnt gotten tummy stretch marks yet she informed me that if I wore a too-small t-shirt all day and night I wouldnt get stretch marks. -_-' Silly me, and I thought genetics played a role in that...

Also, apparently even though my husband (who's got a few stretch marks of his own lol) _says_ he wont mind if I get them on my tummy, my neighbod informed that he is lying and really he will thinks its gross. Well thanks, neighbor, for just brightening my day.

So remember, constricting a growing belly with tight clothes keeps your skin from growing and that courteous husbands are liars!!


----------



## Maggirayne

I like the word Asinine, but then I like sounding, smart/hoity-toity, especially when things are really dumb like that.









Oh yeah, and those BeBo head guards things at the bottom of page 3, post #299, my mom is worried about my DD, 14 mos falling into the coffee table, not particularly dangerous, but _it has corners_. So I showed her that. She thought those looked ridiculous, fortunately.


----------



## riverside knitter

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sparkly* 
...especially anyone in the baby boomer generation (where they'd give tiny babies cereal through a bottle to "help them sleep").


Have you been talking to my mom? Because she started suggesting "just a pinch" of rice cereal in a bottle to "help" my LO sleep when she was not even a month old!


----------



## RedPony

Quote:


Originally Posted by *FunkSoulMommy* 
I just got the greatest one... my grandmother explained to me that the reason my little man was fussy in the evenings was because it hurts babies to be held when they're going to sleep... thats funny since he only screams when I try to put him down 

Oh yes! I got this one all the TIME from my mom. Holding a newborn makes them uncomfortable, they can't relax, it's harder for them to sleep, blah blah blah.







Also, anytime DD would sleep, I needed put her down. "Put that baby down. Don't hold her while she's sleeping. You'll be doing that forever. Wouldn't you rather put her down?" Well, once in awhile, DD falls asleep on me now, and gee... there I am, stuck holding, snuggling, and loving on my super active, hardly sits still toddler. Tragedy of tragedies!


----------



## bigeyes

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maggirayne* 
I like the word Asinine, but then I like sounding, smart/hoity-toity, especially when things are really dumb like that.










Is asinine hoity-toity?







I'm thinking most folks know what that means.

I don't think any words I've ever heard are extreme enough for some of these. Which leaves me wondering if we shouldn't invent a new one.

Someone came up with craptacular, for example.....there ought to be a new word to describe this sort of cluelessness.


----------



## amberskyfire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RedPony* 
Oh yes! I got this one all the TIME from my mom. Holding a newborn makes them uncomfortable, they can't relax, it's harder for them to sleep, blah blah blah.







Also, anytime DD would sleep, I needed put her down. "Put that baby down. Don't hold her while she's sleeping. You'll be doing that forever. Wouldn't you rather put her down?" Well, once in awhile, DD falls asleep on me now, and gee... there I am, stuck holding, snuggling, and loving on my super active, hardly sits still toddler. Tragedy of tragedies!

















Perhaps she needs to meet my baby. She is four months old and has never once fallen asleep while not being held and also never once fallen asleep without nursing to sleep. She even has to have it a very special way - I have to pace back and forth with her while she nurses or she has to be on the boppy. If it's not exactly her way, she'll pop off and stare at me blankly or kick me in the arm until I stand up with her and start walking.

If I put her down to sleep, I think she would just scream bloody murder. Who DOESN'T want to be snuggled to sleep?


----------



## sparklefairy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *newmommy7-08* 
He's 9 days old and already it begins...

Today from my MIL...
You know it's ok to let him fuss... no, I'm sorry it's not. Yes it is ok to let him make noises, but if he sounds distressed then he needs me.
You shouldn't hold him all the time, he'll smell your milk and will never be able to relax... WTF so I just imaine how much more soundly he sleeps ON ME as opposed to in the bassinet?


it just occurred to me that maybe this is a notion that came from strictly scheduled feeds. Babies wouldn't sleep when they "should" if they wanted to nurse but it wasn't time, so mom "should" put them down so that they can't smell the milk frantically try to convince her to feed them when it wasn't "time" yet.


----------



## ThatCrazyLady

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eunytuny* 
Dh's nephew's gf just had a baby and I've been gently encouraging bf. They dont have 2 dimes to rub together so I was touting how cheap bm is and she just said "My mom said it hurts and WIC pays for all the formula anyway.

I'm in a snappy comeback mood.

The answer to "I hear breastfeeding hurts" is "It's like sex; it only hurts when you don't know what you're doing."


----------



## amberskyfire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ThatCrazyLady* 
I'm in a snappy comeback mood.

The answer to "I hear breastfeeding hurts" is "It's like sex; it only hurts when you don't know what you're doing."

That's a good one! I'm going to have to use that!
(Hm...except maybe it wouldn't be good to say to those who are wary of breastfeeding because they feel it's sexual)


----------



## tomanola

I was having a hard time not loosing my mind with full time school and my 3 yo dd, and my family lives in the other end of the world, in Argentina. A young french classmate asked me

"Why don't you send your daughter with your mom during school year, and visit in the summer?"


----------



## Kinguk

Ooh I've got some!

~ "Your baby's over six months now and you're still breastfeeding? Maybe you should talk to your doctor about that"

~ (When asking around for tips on driving 13 hrs with my 8 month old) "put some water in a bottle but be sure to add some sugar - that'll make it interesting for her. " Me: "I'm not giving my baby sugar!" Her: "oh, a little bit of sugar is not going to hurt her and, it will make her want the bottle" --for the record...we did the whole trip no bottle, no sugar and it was quite successful.


----------



## Kinguk

Her father and I are separating and I've been exposed to a whole new level of ignorance!

~ I am completely shocked at how many people have told me that I HAVE TO either pump, or give up breastfeeding altogether! She's not even a year old! I told one girl I will breastfeed her for as long as our baby needs and she responded, "she doesn't NEED to breastfeed, you WANT to breastfeed"

~ one girl got me alone and really spoke her mind on formula - there's nothing wrong with formula I was formula fed, my brother was formula fed, - I couldn't help but wonder her definition of fine as she is a diabetic, obese, balding, 29 year old virgin whose never been in a relationship with anyone. Oh yeah, and at 29 yrs old, she still ahsn't gone in to get her driver's licence... and then, "well then you should at least pump"

~ to my baby's dad, "that baby needs a father you know, you be careful b/c if she's doing all the feeding then how can you be a father?"

I always end these conversations quicky and confidently with, "nursing is even more important now with all the transitions in her life" and if that doesn't work, "breastfeeding is important to us." period. end of discussion


----------



## 1littlebit

what is it exactly that makes people think the only way to be a parent is to feed the baby? im pretty confident a guy can be a dad w/o ever feeding the baby a bottle. and grandma can find other ways to bond...as can every other person in the world who feels that you should pump or use formula so they or someone else can 'bond' with baby. o also.. maybe the obese balding diabetic thinks its normal b/c it sort of is. not good... but normal.


----------



## not now

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kinguk* 
~ one girl got me alone and really spoke her mind on formula - there's nothing wrong with formula I was formula fed, my brother was formula fed, - I couldn't help but wonder her definition of fine as she is a diabetic, obese, balding, *29 year old virgin whose never been in a relationship with anyone. Oh yeah, and at 29 yrs old, she still ahsn't gone in to get her driver's licence*... and then, "well then you should at least pump"


What the hell does that (in the bold) have to do with breast feeding? I can see the obesity, maybe the diabetes (which is genetic or a product of the obesity) and _maybe_ the balding (although female balding can be genetic or diet/health related) but the virginity? Never been in a relationship? Drivers license? That's just being petty which puts you on her level.


----------



## Maeve

I'm glad I wan't the only one that wa bothered by that. Struck me as a rather immature comment.


----------



## Momily

DS is African American (and adopted). I'm white. In the beginning he looked more Hispanic -- light skin straight dark hair, big dark, but over the first couple months his hair curled up, his skin turned a beautiful chocolate brown, and his eyes went from blue-black to mahogany brown.

When he was about 6 weeks old we were in the grocery store and a woman came up to me and cooed over how cute he was. Then she asked me "Have you considered the possibility that his father is black? He really looks biracial to me." I replied "Actually I KNOW his father's black", and she must have suddenly realized that she had just implied that I had slept around so much that I couldn't keep track of all the possible fathers because she started babbling about how "of course you know" and got out of there FAST.

Then again, the second dumbest thing ever said was by me. Before DS came along, I was sharing a house with another woman and her daughter. The social worker who did the homestudy was asking about the number of bedrooms we had -- I'm pretty sure she assumed that we were partners and that my bedroom was just for "show" and she was fine with that (actually we weren't partners and it really was my bedroom, but that's kind of irrelevant -- she never asked because if she had and we said yes it would have been illegal in that state to approve us) anyway, we talked about how we had 2 more rooms -- one empty and one for my friend's daughter. She said that that meant she could approve me for a boy or a girl. My reply was "yes, but if I get a boy we'll have to make sure the next one is the same sex as one of the first two so they can share a room, because we don't have a fifth bedroom". She looked at me kind of strangely and said "well, yes, if you adopt a second child it will have to be either a boy or a girl". I'm sure at that point she thought I was the dumbest parent to ever cross her path. However she did approve me to adopt.


----------



## Maggirayne

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bigeyes* 
Is asinine hoity-toity?







I'm thinking most folks know what that means.

I don't think any words I've ever heard are extreme enough for some of these. Which leaves me wondering if we shouldn't invent a new one.

Someone came up with craptacular, for example.....there ought to be a new word to describe this sort of cluelessness.

Hmmm. . .that's a good idea to just come up with a new word.

I don't think I've ever heard anyone use asinine, so I assume most people don't know what it means. But when I growing up, there were people I knew that were proud of being ignorant and unlearned and made fun of my college-educated parents.







, so I was speaking from that. Of course, people smart enough to get on MDC are smart enough to know what it means. I admit that I'm/was a bit of a smart snob.







I was homeschooled and until, um, college, thought that homeschoolers were always smarter than public schooled students. I know that isn't true, but I guess my bias shows yet. My apologies if I offended anyone.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ThatCrazyLady* 
I'm in a snappy comeback mood.

The answer to "I hear breastfeeding hurts" is "It's like sex; it only hurts when you don't know what you're doing."

Umm, that is true if you have not problems like tongue tie or flat nipples or PCOS or any number of problems that are not obvious. It was easy for me, but I have a friend who desperately wanted to nurse and had flat nipples, and when her child was latched on properly, it was excruciating. Her nipples literally looked like hamburger. She wishes she'd taken pictures for reference.

Implying that nursing is always easy makes it more easy, IMO, to give up when things are difficult. And it is difficult to find good, knowledgeable lactation consultants.

However, I would have said the same thing before meeting my friend since nursing was so easy for me.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kinguk* 
Her father and I are separating and I've been exposed to a whole new level of ignorance!

~ I am completely shocked at how many people have told me that I HAVE TO either pump, or give up breastfeeding altogether! She's not even a year old! I told one girl I will breastfeed her for as long as our baby needs and she responded, "she doesn't NEED to breastfeed, you WANT to breastfeed"

I'm sorry you're going thru a hard time.

If babies didn't need to nurse, then they would not need formula, but then how many people give formula once babies reach 12 months and can drink cow's milk.


----------



## Lady Lilya

Quote:

Umm, that is true if you have not problems like tongue tie or flat nipples or PCOS or any number of problems that are not obvious. It was easy for me, but I have a friend who desperately wanted to nurse and had flat nipples, and when her child was latched on properly, it was excruciating. Her nipples literally looked like hamburger. She wishes she'd taken pictures for reference.

Implying that nursing is always easy makes it more easy, IMO, to give up when things are difficult. And it is difficult to find good, knowledgeable lactation consultants.

However, I would have said the same thing before meeting my friend since nursing was so easy for me.
That is why I tell people that there are a lot of common issues, most of which are overcomable with a little bit of knowledge, but that particular type of knowledge, that used to be passed down from generation to generation, is largely forgotten due to several generations in a row of formula feeding. So I tell them that if they have any difficulty to call me and I will help locate info and experts to help them fix the problems.


----------



## pookel

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maggirayne* 
Implying that nursing is always easy makes it more easy, IMO, to give up when things are difficult.

To be fair, I had some issues when it came to sex, too. Maybe I just don't know what I'm doing all around.


----------



## Athena's Mommy

My husband was telling the owner of a local restaurant how I am on a restricted elimination diet to see what our 6 week old DD is sensitive to in my breast milk. The lady replied, "Just give her some crackers, she'll be fine." He reminded her that DD is only 6 weeks old. "Oh yes, crackers will help!" the woman said again. Seriously, she doesn't even have teeth yet! Where do people come up with this stuff?

Oh yeah, and my MIL also believes that cereal in a bottle before bed helps them sleep...never mind that I told her several times we are strictly BFing for at least 6 months...is this cereal in a bottle a generational thing or what??


----------



## GoBecGo

Actually in the 1950's and 60's the WHO recommended cereal and orange juice from 6 weeks. So all oldies aren't mad, they're just following what they were told, as many of us are.


----------



## 1littlebit

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Momily* 
When he was about 6 weeks old we were in the grocery store and a woman came up to me and cooed over how cute he was. Then she asked me "Have you considered the possibility that his father is black? He really looks biracial to me." I replied "Actually I KNOW his father's black", and she must have suddenly realized that she had just implied that I had slept around so much that I couldn't keep track of all the possible fathers because she started babbling about how "of course you know" and got out of there FAST.

omg what in the world posseses people to say things like that? i think
"is his father black" is slightly more appropriate.... but still irrelevant to her as it is none of her business. you could have said hmm i guess your right, now i can cross all the white guys off my list that narrows it down some! thanks lady.


----------



## edensmama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Athena's Mommy* 
Oh yeah, and my MIL also believes that cereal in a bottle before bed helps them sleep...never mind that I told her several times we are strictly BFing for at least 6 months...is this cereal in a bottle a generational thing or what??

I had a discussion like this not to long ago with a group of older women I know well. I was feeding ds cereal with a spoon and 4 out of the 6 women said I should put it in his bottle. I politley responded, "By putting cereal in the baby's bottle can create obesity and is not recommended by our physician." They pretty much left me alone after that. I get that quite a bit and I just say I prefer to feed him with a spoon. I do agree that is a generational thing.


----------



## Maggirayne

Good for you!


----------



## amberskyfire

My best friend in the whole world is a guy and both of us have new babies - mine is 4 months old and his is 7 weeks. I'm totally AP and natural-living and he's about as mainstream as you can get. It makes it hard for us to discuss our babies because we don't agree on anything










Last night he called me to talk and it was about 2am there (he lives in TX and I live in HI). I figured he was up feeding the baby and asked how his son was doing and he said "sleeping." I said "awww, you're holding him while he sleeps! So cute!"







:

Then he said "no, he's asleep in his crib in his room. I just have to stay up in case he cries." Come to find out, they can't hear the baby crying at night until he goes into hysterics and he wakes a lot during the night and starts crying, so one of them has to stay awake ALL NIGHT LONG in case he wakes up.

I sympathized with him and said "you should take him to bed with you, you'll get LOADS more sleep! My daughter hasn't kept me up even once since she was born. I could hear him rolling his eyes at me and he said "yeah, well, this is what works for us."

I thought to myself "well, obviously it ISN'T working for you if you have to take turns staying awake all night long for when the baby wakes up!"

But I'm a good friend and kept my mouth shut.









Then he went on to tell me that it takes forever to get him back to sleep because his girlfriend didn't want to nurse and they can't let him go to sleep with a bottle, so they have to lay him in his crib to cry until he falls asleep.

I said "oh, well I just nurse A to sleep every time, so it's really easy."

He laughed at me like I was an idiot and asked "aren't you worried that that's going to become a habit?"

I just laughed and said "no, I really don't think she's going to be in high school and still need to nurse herself to sleep."


----------



## pookel

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
Then he said "no, he's asleep in his crib in his room. I just have to stay up in case he cries." Come to find out, they can't hear the baby crying at night until he goes into hysterics and he wakes a lot during the night and starts crying, so one of them has to stay awake ALL NIGHT LONG in case he wakes up.

Dude! Get a baby monitor, for crying out loud! Or move the crib to your bedroom! This is not rocket surgery.


----------



## minkajane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pookel* 
Dude! Get a baby monitor, for crying out loud! Or move the crib to your bedroom! This is not rocket surgery.









Seriously. Has he never heard of a baby monitor?


----------



## sapphire_chan

Your friend isn't thinking very clearly, is he? His girlfriend seems quite selfish to me as well. She gets to have a full night's sleep. SHE should be the one doing the really "hard" thinking like "hmm, a monitor."


----------



## amberskyfire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
Your friend isn't thinking very clearly, is he? His girlfriend seems quite selfish to me as well. She gets to have a full night's sleep. SHE should be the one doing the really "hard" thinking like "hmm, a monitor."

They take turns but yeah, a baby monitor might help. Of course, I didn't go into it with him. It could be that neither of them wakes up to the sound of the monitor or that by the time it does wake them up, he's already upset. They formula feed so they may not think it's worth it to wake up to crying and then have to make a bottle up with baby still crying. I didn't ask.


----------



## sarah&dina

New story as of yesterday. MIL and FIL, without checking with me first, gave the babe fortified cereal while they were babysitting. We got into a fight about it. Not even regarding the fact that she ate the food (though I want her only eating the fresh homemade food I prepare), but the fact that they told me she did NOT eat it (despite the fact that the package was open...what, did they eat it?!?!) and then slipped up in conversation and admitted she did eat it. I mean, come on, you need to be honest with parents about what their kids are eating...! Anyway, when we got talking, MIL told me she's very uncomfortable with the babe's diet and therefore decided to "remedy it" by feeding her the cereal. (Hmmm, let's think here, if you're uncomfortable with how I'm feeding her, TALK to me about it...don't change/supplement her diet behind my back!) Anyway, the point of this post:

MIL thinks that my 8 mos old's diet should be based on fortified cereal and summplemented with a few fresh fruits/veggies!?!?! Huh! Since when is it preferable to get your nutrients from fake food!?!?!


----------



## NJ*Doula

My normally sane and rational MIL has gotten after me about co-sleeping lately. She insists that it "infringes on the marriage". Sorry MIL, but my (very solid and happy) marriage is not going to break down because of our sleeping arrangements. And anyway, since when is my marriage all about sleep? I would hope not! And does that mean that my marriage is also damaged by the cats sleeping on the bed?


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
They take turns...They formula feed so they may not think it's worth it to wake up to crying and then have to make a bottle up with baby still crying. I didn't ask.









Taking turns is better, I was thinking he was sitting up every night. Hang on... formula means they've got to make bottles. Meaning they go to the kitchen. Which is probably no where near either their bedroom or the baby's room. For the love of... I wash my hands of them. I'm exhausted just thinking of it.








Puts a whole new twist on the "but we need alone time" argument against co-sleeping, doesn't it?


----------



## Maggirayne

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Socks for Supper* 
At which my MIL piped up with: "Well, if dog saliva can heal wounds, I don't see why its bad for him", and then - THEN: "Its not like Daisy[the dog] licks her butt before she chews on her toys".

Um, dogs always lick their butts. It's a scientific fact observable by watching any and every dog for a period of time. Doy
I hate the "But a dog's mouth is cleaner than a human's." Umm, I don't lick my butt, so I don't know how on earth that is remotely possible. I know we have lots of (good) bacteria in our mouths, but it's what is naturally supposed to be there.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *riverside knitter* 
She also tried to take Nora out of my arms more than once in addition to constantly asking to hold her when I was in the middle of nursing her.









While you were nursing?!







:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lady Lilya* 
That is why I tell people that there are a lot of common issues, most of which are overcomable with a little bit of knowledge, but that particular type of knowledge, that used to be passed down from generation to generation, is largely forgotten due to several generations in a row of formula feeding. So I tell them that if they have any difficulty to call me and I will help locate info and experts to help them fix the problems.

Heheh, this is what I meant







Good for you!


----------



## edensmama

My step-mother says the same thing to us, that dd should be in her own bed. But when I ask her how long did her dd sleep with her, while my dad had to sleep in the other room? It's not the same according to her. Well, no it's not b/c we ALL share the bed. I don't understand why mil's and other mother figures feel that what they did was ok but what we do to benefit our children is so wrong. And why do they feel they have to fix, what they think are problems?! It's different times and we are raising our children differently than 30 years ago.

ok finished







:


----------



## Maggirayne

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GathererGirl* 
And anyway, since when is my marriage all about sleep? I would hope not!

I think she's thinking it's all about sex, but who has sex all night long IRL? And her opinion you can't/shouldn't have sex with a baby in the bed with you.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GathererGirl* 
And does that mean that my marriage is also damaged by the cats sleeping on the bed?









My husband says yes our marriage would be--but he doesn't like cats.
On another note, there's a marriage forum I read and someone posted about their pet yowling and being traumatized when it saw them DTD.


----------



## newmommy7-08

Here's how the conversation went

Me: I don't lke the fact that DS went nearly 6 hours w/o eating today... he slept the whole time and I know it was because of the heat
MIL: you should give him a bottle of water since he was probably dehydrated.

This is after REPEATED conversations on how babies do NOT need water, and the fact that the formula he gets is mixed with ... WATER!!!!!

I've told her ds won't be getting water till he's older and she tells me to give him water.... he is 3.5 weeks old for heaven sakes! This is the woman who wants me to leave my son with her now... if she's not going to listen to my wishes and constantly tell me to do things that are the exact opposite of what I plan to do, tell me why I would leave him with her... she'd prolly give him cereal or something NOW!!!


----------



## diamond lil

Quote:


Originally Posted by *newmommy7-08* 
Here's how the conversation went

Me: I don't lke the fact that DS went nearly 6 hours w/o eating today... he slept the whole time and I know it was because of the heat
MIL: you should give him a bottle of water since he was probably dehydrated.

This is after REPEATED conversations on how babies do NOT need water, and the fact that the formula he gets is mixed with ... WATER!!!!!

I've told her ds won't be getting water till he's older and she tells me to give him water.... he is 3.5 weeks old for heaven sakes! This is the woman who wants me to leave my son with her now... if she's not going to listen to my wishes and constantly tell me to do things that are the exact opposite of what I plan to do, tell me why I would leave him with her... she'd prolly give him cereal or something NOW!!!

Actually, giving a baby as young as your son a bottle of just water can be very harmful to their kidneys. You might point that out to her next time she recommends a bottle of water. Little babies do not use water the same way adult bodies do.


----------



## NocturnalDaze

I was in the library the other day. My dd was returning books and there were two women, a mother and daughter, with a 4 day old baby. The baby's mom wasn't sitting with them. They started talking to me about my 6 month old. The babies G'ma said, "Let me ask you something, when did you start to give your baby water?" I told her I haven't given her water at all yet. She looked thoroughly offended and kind of pouted while the baby's aunt kept talking. LOL, I think that she thought that she was going to have some ammo to keep on insisting that the baby needs water. "See, that girl started her baby on water when she was blah, blah, you should too!! Bummer, I ruined it for her.


----------



## Smokering

Quote:

When he was about 6 weeks old we were in the grocery store and a woman came up to me and cooed over how cute he was. Then she asked me "Have you considered the possibility that his father is black? He really looks biracial to me." I replied "Actually I KNOW his father's black", and she must have suddenly realized that she had just implied that I had slept around so much that I couldn't keep track of all the possible fathers because she started babbling about how "of course you know" and got out of there FAST.
ROFL! Okay, that's hilarious. (Offensive, but hilarious!). I bet she had her foot in her mouth for days.


----------



## Ravishing

I was grocery shopping when DS was around 5 months old. He was in his car seat, glazed over and about to fall asleep. An old man came over to look at my son and tried in vain to get his attention. The man then looked at me and told me that my son has very poor vision and can't focus on things. Obviously at that age he could. I was a little stunned and trying to be polite and get on with my shopping so I said "actually he's thinking about taking a nap right now." It might not have come out perfectly but I assumed the man would understand that DS was half asleep and not focusing on a whole lot more than the back of his eye lids at that point in time. The man snorted and said "_yeah - thinking about it_" and then walked away muttering like I'm some idiot who doesn't know the first thing about their child's ability to see clearly.

Sometimes I really dread going shopping because it seems like a lot of the people who feel the need to make a comment are the ones who are better off not saying anything at all.


----------



## DiannaK

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ThatCrazyLady* 
I'm in a snappy comeback mood.

The answer to "I hear breastfeeding hurts" is "It's like sex; it only hurts when you don't know what you're doing."
























LOVE This!!!


----------



## consciousma

here are some of mine

-Just try the bottle, you can't BF him forever
-You need to put him down (usually when DS is fussy, and that's only when he's hungry/tired)
-You should give him a piece of bread or rice cereal to fill him up so you dont have to bf him so much, (DS is only BF, he's tried fruit a few times & throws it up)
-You HAVE TO HAVE ... (a carriage, pacifier, crib, swing, walker, etc.)
-Aren't you afraid your going to roll over on him while sleeping
-Is that legal? (usually refers to UAHB)
-It's not SAFE to be uncircumsized
-You need to have him watch tv - or - just put him in front of the tv so you can do what u need to do.


----------



## not now

Quote:


Originally Posted by *edensmama* 
I had a discussion like this not to long ago with a group of older women I know well. I was feeding ds cereal with a spoon and 4 out of the 6 women said I should put it in his bottle. I politley responded, "By putting cereal in the baby's bottle can create obesity and is not recommended by our physician." They pretty much left me alone after that. I get that quite a bit and I just say I prefer to feed him with a spoon. I do agree that is a generational thing.

I don't think it's a generational thing. I have friends in their 20's who put cereal in the night time bottle so the baby could sleep through the night. Even women who's mom's were not even in the picture. They just figure out that it keeps the baby full for a longer stretch of time and therefore they can sleep longer.


----------



## Elijahs Momma

We were over at my sister and bil's house the other day and bil goes to give ds a cup with something in it.

Me: What is that?
Bil: pop. (soda, whatever you want to call it lol)
Me: Noo
Bil: But he wants it, he brought me the pop bottle
Me: He brings me lots of things he's not suppose to have but I don't give it to him just b/c he "wants" them
Bil: Oh! You're no fun!

wth? If he had brough him a can of beer would he have opened that b/c he wanted it? oi! And everytime we go over there they always give him food without asking me first, it's so annoying.


----------



## RunnerDuck

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Elijahs Momma* 
We were over at my sister and bil's house the other day and bil goes to give ds a cup with something in it.

Me: What is that?
Bil: pop. (soda, whatever you want to call it lol)
Me: Noo
Bil: But he wants it, he brought me the pop bottle
Me: He brings me lots of things he's not suppose to have but I don't give it to him just b/c he "wants" them
Bil: Oh! You're no fun!

wth? If he had brough him a can of beer would he have opened that b/c he wanted it? oi! And everytime we go over there they always give him food without asking me first, it's so annoying.

this makes me think of how people claim the baby is ready for solids because "he was watching me eat."

my kids look at my car keys when i wave them around - doesn't mean he's ready to drive!


----------



## mommy2caroline

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bigeyes* 
Someone came up with craptacular, for example.....there ought to be a new word to describe this sort of cluelessness.









Didn't they use this word on _The Simpsons_?


----------



## bigeyes

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommy2caroline* 







Didn't they use this word on _The Simpsons_?

I have no idea. I haven't watched in years.


----------



## HappyFox05

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommy2caroline* 







Didn't they use this word on _The Simpsons_?

Yes, though I haven't watched in years either, so it must be an older one. They're all mostly craptacular after the 7th season anyway.


----------



## ohiomommy1122

oh I got a good one I was at the mall the other day and a lady stopped me and said the I was going to snap DS's neck if I continued to carry him on my back in the ergo he was asleep and his head was tilting back but it was still supported and I'm very aware of his head and walk slightly forward so that its not flopping back besides he has neck control he 7 months I told the lady this and she then in a very nice way said she was an RN and that was going to snap my babies neck my brother who was with me was very irritated and was like she needs to mind her own business, it didnt offend me really she was very nice about it!


----------



## Mommy2Austin

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ohiomommy1122* 
oh I got a good one I was at the mall the other day and a lady stopped me and said the I was going to snap DS's neck if I continued to carry him on my back in the ergo he was asleep and his head was tilting back but it was still supported and I'm very aware of his head and walk slightly forward so that its not flopping back besides he has neck control he 7 months I told the lady this and she then in a very nice way said she was an RN and that was going to snap my babies neck my brother who was with me was very irritated and was like she needs to mind her own business, it didnt offend me really she was very nice about it!


Yes I can imagine all those neck snapping injuries from babywearing are flooding the ER


----------



## PatienceAndLove

I have nothing to add, just highly entertained.

Wait, no! I do!

So DH is moving down to Texas to start his first semester of law school. My job won't transfer me until I have 6 months with the company, which is fine (like I want to be around DH while he starts law school?)
So, sicne we can't afford to maintain 2 households, DD and I are going to split living time between my mother's and my ILs.
My lil sis is totally flabbergasted that I don't need her to haul the bunkbed up from the basement for DD to sleep in. She normally sleeps the DH and I anyway. Why would I cause her even more upheaval by insisting she sleep in a strange bed?
I think my Mom and MIL are a little flabbergasted as well, but far to smart to say anything.


----------



## lovin'leo

When I was pregnant with ds2, he was really active and I developed a tendency to rub my belly when he was going nuts. One day at a playgroup this woman I occasionally talked to asked me if he was kicking a lot. When I said that he was, she informed me that she'd heard that doctors can give me some drug which would make him less active. WTH!? Why on earth would I want to do that, even if it were possible?


----------



## MCatLvrMom2A&X

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lovin'leo* 
When I was pregnant with ds2, he was really active and I developed a tendency to rub my belly when he was going nuts. One day at a playgroup this woman I occasionally talked to asked me if he was kicking a lot. When I said that he was, she informed me that she'd heard that doctors can give me some drug which would make him less active. WTH!? Why on earth would I want to do that, even if it were possible?









: Even though the kicking can be a bit painful sometimes or downright painful occasionally it is still one of the best parts of pg to me. Wouldnt want anything to get in the way of it.


----------



## JamesMama

FIL walks into the 4h building where we were sitting in the a/c during the county fair and hands me a sucker...ya know those ones that are sort of like Smarties on a stick? And I look at him and say "Whats this for?" he says "I got it for Aldria."










I say "Um...Aldria is only 8 months old...she isn't allowed to have suckers." He asks if James can have one (my 3 y/o) not ideal, but it's a special occasion, one sucker won't kill him I say sure so he hands James one. I hand him 'Aldria's sucker' back and tell him he can give it to N (my 10 y/o bil) and he takes my FIVE MONTH OLD niece and gives the sucker to her!! I nudge my SIL and say "Um...he's giving M that sucker." she looks and says "Oh! Wow...M...do you like the sucker? It's yummy isn't it! **ha ha** look mom, look how she likes it."


----------



## JamesMama

Oh and the funny one...I wore Aldria in a sling quite often when she was a newborn...my MIL swore up and down that I was going to impead her ability to roll over, crawl, etc...

So she made sure to tell me ALL.THE.TIME that SIL is giving M PLENTY of 'floor time' so she'll be able to roll over and all that stuff REALLY fast.

Guess who rolled over at 4 months? Yeah, that'd be Aldria...guess who isn't rolling yet at 5.5 months? Yeah, that'd be M. So much for my poor parenting impeading my DD's ability.

****NOTE--- I realize that all babies do things in their own time and Aldria is in no way hyper advanced nor is my niece behind or anything like that, it just strikes me as humerous that my MIL was sure I was screwing my DD up by wearing her and stuff and made such a point of my niece getting all this floor time so she'd be so much more physically adept than Aldria and it turns out it's 100% opposite...it humors me...


----------



## meganbarr

I was at the WIC office the other day waiting for them to do my dd's 6 mo "well baby" check when I heard the WIC lady give another mother some HORRIBLE advice. This womans son was 6 mo and exclusively breastfed. She had just started giving solids 1x per day. She was complaining to the WIC lady that her son was getting up a lot at night. The WIC lady told her that she wasnt giving the baby enough solids. She said "the baby needs solid foods for breakfast, then a solid snack, then a solid lunch, then a solid snack again, then solid dinner, then a pre bed time solid snack. You can nurse anytime in between." I was thinking OMG







how many people are getting this advice. I was too nervous to say anything at the time but now I wish I would have.







The poor woman probably has NO milk supply now.


----------



## ernalala

Quote:


Originally Posted by *meganbarr* 
She said "the baby needs solid foods for breakfast, then a solid snack, then a solid lunch, then a solid snack again, then solid dinner, then a pre bed time solid snack. You can nurse anytime in between." I was thinking OMG







how many people are getting this advice. I was too nervous to say anything at the time but now I wish I would have.







The poor woman probably has NO milk supply now.

Well, this is similar advice as I got from a pediatric dietician (free consultation offered by the hospital where DS1 was born and where he has his pediatrician). She insisted that now he is '6mo' (corrected age only less than 5mo!) I SHOULD start him on solids, I said sth about starting with some vegetables and fruit if I see he's ready, then she kept on telling me and INSISTING that my little baby should be put on REAL MEAL SOLIDS and IRON containing foods containing meat!, egg!, and that he should finish (finish!) three bowls of solids EVERY SINGLE DAY, and based on a strict scheme!!! I was not that super well informed yet about everything about babies but my common sense and mother instinct told me that this woman just didn't KNOW ANYTHING about what babies really need in their diet, which was of course still LOTS of breastmilk for the coming months (and beyond only I hadn't that clue yet . We definitely didn't want any more consultation, it was worthless. I was so mad at her and the hospital that they allow this after advising 6m exclusive BF! I was so mad for all the wrong advice given to parents that would just not dare to question a 'specialists' advice!

On later 'normal' pediatric consultations we just mentioned that our child ate well and varied next to frequent bf. By the way, a great pediatrician but I guessed on food matters he would of course 'agree' with his colleague. If I know I have a different opinion from a practitioner I often just 'forget' to mention it .


----------



## isfa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lovin'leo* 
When I was pregnant with ds2, he was really active and I developed a tendency to rub my belly when he was going nuts. One day at a playgroup this woman I occasionally talked to asked me if he was kicking a lot. When I said that he was, she informed me that she'd heard that doctors can give me some drug which would make him less active. WTH!? Why on earth would I want to do that, even if it were possible?

DD kicking was the ONLY thing I enjoyed about being pregnant! But even if it weren't so great, what kind of doctor would recommend something to make a baby move less? That sounds so incredibly dangerous.


----------



## sparkly

oh! I have another! "It's healthy for the baby to have a good long cry *every* day". This comes from the sort of people who are shocked when my answer to "what color/theme is the nursery?" is "well, that would be our room".


----------



## Cherry Alive

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
This from an ex coworker who I could not STAND.

One day at work she was boasting to our other coworkers that she knew the best parenting trick to keep teenage girls from getting pregnant. She said that when her daughter was eleven or twelve, she had another baby (my coworker, not her daughter). She boasted

"When the baby was born, I made my daughter completely take care of the baby all by herself. She had to change all of the diapers, do all of the feedings, even at night, and I didn't have to lift a finger the whole time. I told her that's what having a baby is like and she'd better not get pregnant as a teenager. That's how you teach girls not to get pregnant when they are young. It'll ruin your childhood."

I was absolutely HORRIFIED at this woman. For one thing, it's horrible to teach children that having kids is a punishment. For another, it was HER baby, not her daughter's baby. Her daughter didn't decide to have the baby, SHE did, which makes the baby MOM's responsibility, not the daughter's.

And for GOODNESS' SAKE, the daughter never got pregnant, so why on earth would you punish her in advance for something she's never even done? Ruin her childhood? Yeah, it ruins your childhood. She ruined her daughter's childhood and made that poor kid raise a child she never got pregnant with and never wanted almost on her own and even have to get up for the night feedings while HAVING TO GO TO SCHOOL!

And that, I believe, is the most messed up parenting advice I've ever heard.

And our coworkers' responses on hearing this little bit of advice? They all agreed that she was some kind of genius and would all be doing that with their daughters if they had any.










My cousin's father and stepmother pulled this crap on her. Now she is 17, has deliberately gotten pregnant in hopes of running away with the baby's father bc she never felt like she was part of her own family, and believes becoming a mother will be "easy" bc of all her babysitting experience.

Truth-be-told, I think she may actually become a better parent than her own.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Red_Lil_Mamma* 
My cousin's father and stepmother pulled this crap on her. Now she is 17, has deliberately gotten pregnant in hopes of running away with the baby's father bc she never felt like she was part of her own family, and believes becoming a mother will be "easy" bc of all her babysitting experience.

Truth-be-told, I think she may actually become a better parent than her own.

Something that just occurred to me that I didn't think of in my first shock at reading about that horrible UAV and her







ideas--are girls who have this done to them (







: that there's only like 2 ever) ever able to like their younger sibling? Because I could see this leading to resentment and hatred.


----------



## PatienceAndLove

what is a UA violation?

I ask b/c ppl mention that they won't say what they won't so they won't get one.

thanks!


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PatienceAndLove* 
what is a UA violation?

I ask b/c ppl mention that they won't say what they won't so they won't get one.

thanks!

The user agreement is posed under "Rules" in the header on each page at MDC. In general "UAV" is used when the accurate words to describe a person would fall in the category "unprintable in a family newspaper". Expressions of desire to commit violence also fall into this category. It's a sort of expurgated version of expressing extreme ire at a person/situation.

You can see where this thread'd get frequent uses of "what a UAV!"


----------



## Mommal

This wasn't something that was said to me, just something I saw, and it's not dumb but instead rather sad. Anyways:

When I took DD to the nursery for her hearing test, the first thing I saw was a teeny-tiny newborn wailing in a nurse's arms as she rocked him and patted his back in a rather distracted way. This kid must have been 5 lbs or so, because he was significantly smaller than my 6 lb, 7 oz daughter. I must have looked rather horrified, because the nurse rolled her eyes and said "Oh, he's just crying from his circ."

I could NOT believe my eyes. How could any parents choose to circumcise their son, but not be there for the procedure? Not want to hold and comfort their child as he experiences the most painful thing that's ever been done to him? I still can't believe that someone could be callous and cowardly enough to leave their baby to cry in the arms of a stranger. (FTR, I'm Jewish and I know there's a gentler way to circumcise if that's what you choose, or what your faith demands. But this was an eye-opening experience for me to see the routine horror of medical circumcision.)


----------



## huminbird

I was in the WIC office for my first Well Baby Checkup when my son was a little less than a month old. We had to change his diaper during the check up and the nurse saw that he was uncircumcised. She asked really nicely if I made sure to pull back the foreskin to clean underneath it. OMG! I reeducated her that it was harmful to pull it back at this early of an age and could cause damage. I made sure to tell her that she needed to do a little bit of research and tell other new moms NOT to pull it back.

I am glad I have the internet and can read and educate myself.


----------



## PatienceAndLove

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
The user agreement is posed under "Rules" in the header on each page at MDC. In general "UAV" is used when the accurate words to describe a person would fall in the category "unprintable in a family newspaper". Expressions of desire to commit violence also fall into this category. It's a sort of expurgated version of expressing extreme ire at a person/situation.

You can see where this thread'd get frequent uses of "what a UAV!"









hehehe!
Thanks!


----------



## mlec

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lizzardbits* 
nak.

we spent all day yesterday with my in-laws. Alex is teething like mad right now and the entire day, MIL was adamant that we give Alex a pork chop BONE to teethe on because she was given a pork chop bone to gum when she was a baby.

my hubby said that if she ever did try to give Alex a bone of anysort, he'd slap it out of her hand so quick she wouldn't know what happened--yay hubby! i didn't say anything to her because i know that she'll never be left alone with alex anyway.

Dr. Sears recommends a chicken bone for teething.


----------



## minkajane

I'm a waitress. Today at work I was gushing over a gorgeous little girl and talking to the parents about her. When the food came out, the mom picked up the baby and said to her, "Oh that looks good, doesn't it? Do you want some?" and started feeding her grits. The problem? The baby was TWO AND A HALF MONTHS OLD. I was shocked and said so (nicely) and she said she'd been feeding her solids with her ped's ok for THREE WEEKS. I mentioned AAP's recommendation of six months and how she's not digesting it, it's just going to give her a tummy ache. I was very polite and friendly about it. The whole time she sitting there smiling condescendingly and said "I was started on solids early and I'm just fine." A bit later I saw the baby laying in the carseat with her bottle propped on a blanket while her parents ate. I got a $2 tip on a $30 tab from that table.


----------



## shanniesue2

The other day, I was BFing my ds in his room at daycare (I work at the daycare he goes to), and another teacher was in the room talking to his teacher. During the course of our convesation, it came up that ds has dairy sensitivities and she asked what I was going to do when he turn 12 months. "So what, are you just going to keep giving him breastmilk." I said "of course. I'm going to breastfeed until he doesn't want to any more." And she went off on a rant (I never really liked this teacher anyway). She said, "I had this kid once. He was 18 months old and when his mom would pick him up, she would go over there and lie down in the floor. He would lift up her shirt, pull out her breast and start nursing."

My response: "So?"

Then she started saying, "If he's old enough to pull out her breast, then he's old enough not to need it."

My response: AAP recommends AT LEAST 1 year. WHO recommends AT LEAST 2 years. And the world wide average is closer to 3 or 4 years. We're really the only culture with hang ups about what breasts are supposed to be used for. Breastfeeding, not bottle feeding, is the normal way to feed a baby. It's how moms were designed to feed their babies.

Then she starts backpedalling: "I mean, I don't have anything against breastfeeding. I just don't want to see it."

My response: Well then don't look

More backpedalling: If she wants to breastfeed that's fine. I just think it's weird to do it in the floor. Why can't she take him over to a chair and do it?

My response: She's his parent and she was feeding him in the way that she believed was best for him. Her responsibility is to do what's right for him not what's right for you. Then I told her not to get me going because this is one of my soap boxes.

She shut up after that. And I was honestly very nice and calm about it all (even though I was pretty pissed that she was going off on BFing while I was nursing my baby... I mean, was she trying to discourage me?). DS's teacher told me after the other teacher left that she was proud of me for being as nice as I was about it, and that she (ds's teacher) had fully expected me to come unhinged at this other teacher.


----------



## lovin'leo

I can't believe I read the whole thing.









I thought of another one. Ds1 had a couple bad apnea episodes as a baby and we had to stay overnight at the hospital. He was a couple months old. The cleaning ladies told me that he was spoiled because I was staying with him and had him sleeping with me. Yeah, it's spoiling him to not put my 2 month old in a toddler crib that he could easily get stuck in the bars (or even go through them) and be badly injured.

My mom likes to tell me about how she used to bundle me up really warm and stick me in the stroller on the balcony in the winter for naps.

Honestly, just from the way she treats my kids, I wonder how I grew up to be even slightly sane. She routinely told ds she was going to "warm his bottom" when he was doing stuff she didn't like. I finally told her something like "No, you aren't because if you lay a hand on my child it'll be the last time you see them." Very impressed with myself, because I can never stand up to her. Ingrained submissiveness from years of desperately trying to get her approval. She hasn't said it again.

She was just here for ds2's 3rd birthday. We let the kids brush their teeth in the living room so we can keep an eye on them (and have more room to hold ds2 down when he won't let us do it...sounds really bad, but he's already had 4 teeth pulled because of his fighting brushing so much). They came out with toothbrushes and she immediately told them to go do it in the bathroom. Ummm...I'm sitting right here, if it were a problem, I'd have said something.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lovin'leo* 
Yeah, it's spoiling him to not put my 2 month old in a toddler crib that he could easily get stuck in the bars (or even go through them) and be badly injured.









the HOSPITAL gave you a toddler crib for a 2 month old??? I mean, admittedly most two month olds aren't rolling over or anything and wouldn't get near the bars in question, but even to risk is horrible. Did they give you a big fluffy pillow for him too?


----------



## lovin'leo

It was a really small town hospital. They don't do births there and rarely have kids. I think all they had was an isolette and the toddler crib. I know they had the isolette because I stayed there for a few days after my c-section, but I guess it was either too small for ds or it was in use that night.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lovin'leo* 
It was a really small town hospital. They don't do births there and rarely have kids. I think all they had was an isolette and the toddler crib. I know they had the isolette because I stayed there for a few days after my c-section, but I guess it was either too small for ds or it was in use that night.









But you had to have a crib for your baby in their minds. Thank goodness they had a bed for *you*.

Since some people might not realize that bed-sharing is safer or might be so tired or on medication so they'll sleep too heavily for bed-sharing to be safe, you might want to write the hospital a letter suggesting that they tell parents in your situation that they may want to bring a portable crib if available. Y'know, in case there's two babies there?


----------



## guestmama9944

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mommal* 
I could NOT believe my eyes. How could any parents choose to circumcise their son, but not be there for the procedure? Not want to hold and comfort their child as he experiences the most painful thing that's ever been done to him? I still can't believe that someone could be callous and cowardly enough to leave their baby to cry in the arms of a stranger. (FTR, I'm Jewish and I know there's a gentler way to circumcise if that's what you choose, or what your faith demands. But this was an eye-opening experience for me to see the routine horror of medical circumcision.)









As a nursery nurse, I can assure you that this is routine. Most doctors and nurses discourage the parents from attending the procedure because it's too heartbreaking to watch. I don't want to see it either


----------



## paquerette

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mlec* 
Dr. Sears recommends a chicken bone for teething.

But at least a chicken (leg) bone is rounded. Pork chop bones are sharp! I stepped on one that my lovely cats had dragged onto the floor a few months ago and had a doozy of a puncture wound in the bottom of my foot.


----------



## Ruthie's momma

I would have to say that the bulk of "dumb" stuff has been in regards to breastfeeding...

From my MIL-
*It is not worth the trouble
*Formula feeding is just as good (or better!)
*You won't produce enough BM
*Your baby won't grow with just BM

From my cousin and her husband (both of which are nutritionists...one with
a MS the other with a Phd)-
*BF'ing beyond the first couple of months will negatively affect your child's
emotional development
*BF'ing beyond the first couple of months is weird


----------



## Elle Jay

I have a few. When my dd was 6 months old we were visiting the in-laws. My MiL asked me if I had given her any coke yet. When I replied with a huge NO, she said "Well we have diet coke, that should be good for her to have."

Same trip and a little background. My husband and both his brothers have allergies to raspberries. I had gone to take a shower and come out into the kitchen to find my MiL feeding my 6 month old daughter raspberry jelly. I hadn't even started her on solids yet and of course she had an allergic reaction. Luckily it was a rash reaction and not a deadly one. Needless to say I lost my temper and am still majorly PO'ed about that incident.

My husband's father has diabetes and it is a daily fight with it. I have diabetes on my side of the family. My MiL is always sending cookies and candy to my dd in packages. When I tried explaining that we don't pump our child full of sugar because of health risks and we are doing healthy eating, she replies by saying we shouldn't worry about it until she gets diabetes. Never mind prevention and being healthy.I now have to screen all packages that come to the house.

Of course when my daughter and son were first born she told me I should be giving them bottles with cereal in it right away because that's what she did with her sons because they were such big babies and were never full. Nevermind that I am breastfeeding and don't own any bottles at all and I have told her over and over no solids until after 6 months of age, possibly longer.

When I said I didn't want my son to have the Hepatitis B shot in the hospital after birth, the attending hospital pediatrician came into my room and tried to bully me saying that the cause of fevers in children was because of hepatitis. I of course question him about this. Yes he was saying that all fevers in all children were because of hepatitis.

When I declined the chicken pox vaccines for my daughter who was 2 at the time, her old pediatrician tried to bully me into getting it saying that all the kids she has seen lately for getting the virus naturally have gone blind.

Sadly I am not making this up. What's even sadder is I am sure I will think of quite a few more.


----------



## Awaken

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Momily* 
DS is African American (and adopted). I'm white. In the beginning he looked more Hispanic -- light skin straight dark hair, big dark, but over the first couple months his hair curled up, his skin turned a beautiful chocolate brown, and his eyes went from blue-black to mahogany brown.

When he was about 6 weeks old we were in the grocery store and a woman came up to me and cooed over how cute he was. Then she asked me "Have you considered the possibility that his father is black? He really looks biracial to me." I replied "Actually I KNOW his father's black", and she must have suddenly realized that she had just implied that I had slept around so much that I couldn't keep track of all the possible fathers because she started babbling about how "of course you know" and got out of there FAST.

Then again, the second dumbest thing ever said was by me. Before DS came along, I was sharing a house with another woman and her daughter. The social worker who did the homestudy was asking about the number of bedrooms we had -- I'm pretty sure she assumed that we were partners and that my bedroom was just for "show" and she was fine with that (actually we weren't partners and it really was my bedroom, but that's kind of irrelevant -- she never asked because if she had and we said yes it would have been illegal in that state to approve us) anyway, we talked about how we had 2 more rooms -- one empty and one for my friend's daughter. She said that that meant she could approve me for a boy or a girl. My reply was "yes, but if I get a boy we'll have to make sure the next one is the same sex as one of the first two so they can share a room, because we don't have a fifth bedroom". She looked at me kind of strangely and said "well, yes, if you adopt a second child it will have to be either a boy or a girl". I'm sure at that point she thought I was the dumbest parent to ever cross her path. However she did approve me to adopt.









I missed this one! That is hilarious (both comments!)


----------



## IceyTheBatmom

When DS was 6 months (very reccently).

MIL: He has to have a pinata for his birthday, and I've got the stick already for him! (She's big on the fact that she's from Mexico)
Me: He's not having a pinata this year.
MIL: Well, with sugar free candy.
Me: Not even.
MIL: Well, for the kids.
Me & DH: What other kids? (he has no cousins, or nearby second cousins)
MIL: *gasp* You mean... He doesn't have any friends?
Me & DH paused....: He's 6 months old!

Nevermind "Here's a pinata, honey! Whack it open and make all the yummy candy come out! But you don't get to have any, even though it's your party!"

And last week, I sent out a save-the-date email for the party, MIL responds with "If it's okay with you, I want to get his cake."

Umm, what? My son's first birthday, and you want to get (not make!) the cake? Uh-uh. Not happening.

So I told her she has first dibs for next year, by that time, he will have entered the terrible twos early, and I'll have enough to do, lol!


----------



## cabbitdancer

Just a quick note regarding no teeth: my daughter is 11 mos and still has no teeth, but she eats crackers and cereal (mostly O's) just fine, as well as a wide variety of other foods.

My ILs are actually pretty awesome about everything. They've never questioned anything we do. My mom, on the other hand, drives me up the wall. She often comments about how fat my daughter is (again, 11 mos, gimme a break, Mom), and says she gets too much from the Chicago dairy (mooo?), and that she's going to have problems with food because she likes it so much. She complains about how I'm always breastfeeding when I call, even though I make it a point not to call when I'm breastfeeding, for that very reason. She frequently tells me that the baby-wearing and co-sleeping, feeding her when she wants it, etc. is spoiling her. To top it all off, she laughed at me when I got upset with her for feeding my daughter peanut butter when I'd already told her not to. "Everyone did it to me, so now it's my turn!" No, Mom, it's not. My only consolation is that she lives in California, and we're in Illinois, so her chances to do damage are few and far between.


----------



## nolonger

Quote:


Originally Posted by *IceyTheBatmom* 

Umm, what? My son's first birthday, and you want to get (not make!) the cake? Uh-uh. Not happening.


My mil from hell did this EVERY YEAR for dd, even though she had dairy allergies and couldn't eat the pink piece of trash from the bakery and I'd already baked her a REAL cake! She didn't even ask me, just "Oh, you can put your funny vegetarian food on the counter where it won't get in the way if you don't want to eat dd's birthday cake."


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cabbitdancer* 
"Everyone did it to me, so now it's my turn!"

She had to put up with that sort of BS and she's _choosing_ to do it to you? Next time she whines about you nursing while talking on the phone "What on earth makes you think I'd care what you want? I used to take your feelings into account, but then you told me that it was your turn to be inconsiderate on purpose. So now you can suck it up and if you don't like it, don't call."


----------



## LizLizard

I had this great conversation a couple days ago, my mother is the queen of not thinking before she speaks.

Mom: "So is DD eating today?"
Me: "Not much, but no big deal... she'll eat when she's hungry."
Mom: "Did she poop?"
Me: "No poop today, probably because she isn't eating much."
Mom: "You know, Freud says that daughters hold back bodily functions to get back at their mothers for things they've done to them. What have you done to her?"
Me: "Are you joking?"
Mom: "No, she's smart, it's obvious she's doing this to get back at you."

Good friggin' grief.


----------



## NewTennMom

Ok, so technically this isn't about 'parenting' but about actually having the baby... it was just so crazy when I heard it, I thought of this thread, and HAD to post.

Last week, I got an ultrasound. According to the US, the baby weighs in at 4lbs 12oz, which, if you REALLY believe US weights, is a wee bit big.

When I told my sister this, she exclaimed, "Well you should ASK for a c-section! You don't want to rip your 'parts'!"

Yeah, like I want extra surgery. What was she thinking???


----------



## Kappa

[Mom: "You know, Freud says that daughters hold back bodily functions to get back at their mothers for things they've done to them. *What have you done to her?"*Me: "Are you joking?"
Mom: "No, she's smart, it's obvious she's doing this to get back at you."
QUOTE]

Sounds like my mom. She swears the baby cries because he is being abused. She asks "What have you done to him?" She also accuses me of feeding him inappropriate foods whenever she changes the diaper and the color/consistency/smell/volume is not to her liking. Not funny at all...
Sometimes mothers have to be cut off. There's a fine line between genuine concern gone wrong, and ridiculousness that a new parent should not have to put up with.


----------



## edensmama

What is it with grandma's and poop? My mom always says ds is either hungery or poopy. It gets annoying. I highly doubt that an infant can "get back" at their mother by not pooping, when they get older they will find other ways.


----------



## amberskyfire

Here's a lovely gem I got from my mother about an hour ago.

My cousin is having a baby and she wants to go back to work almost right away, so my mother will be nannying for her most of the week.

Today on the phone, my mother told me that my cousin couldn't wait another month for the baby and wanted to have him now and my mother agreed with her and advised her to ask her doctor to have a c-section so they could have the baby a month early!

And neither of them sees a problem with this.

When I shrieked at my mother for saying something like that to my little cousin, she replied "well, SHE was born two months early and she's fine."








:


----------



## Awaken

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ravishing* 
I was grocery shopping when DS was around 5 months old. He was in his car seat, glazed over and about to fall asleep. An old man came over to look at my son and tried in vain to get his attention. The man then looked at me and told me that my son has very poor vision and can't focus on things. Obviously at that age he could. I was a little stunned and trying to be polite and get on with my shopping so I said "actually he's thinking about taking a nap right now." It might not have come out perfectly but I assumed the man would understand that DS was half asleep and not focusing on a whole lot more than the back of his eye lids at that point in time. The man snorted and said "_yeah - thinking about it_" and then walked away muttering like I'm some idiot who doesn't know the first thing about their child's ability to see clearly.

Sometimes I really dread going shopping because it seems like a lot of the people who feel the need to make a comment are the ones who are better off not saying anything at all.









people are so strange! Why would someone feel the need to come up to a stranger in a store and say something like that about their baby?


----------



## Mommy2Austin

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
Here's a lovely gem I got from my mother about an hour ago.

My cousin is having a baby and she wants to go back to work almost right away, so my mother will be nannying for her most of the week.

Today on the phone, my mother told me that my cousin couldn't wait another month for the baby and wanted to have him now and my mother agreed with her and advised her to ask her doctor to have a c-section so they could have the baby a month early!

And neither of them sees a problem with this.

When I shrieked at my mother for saying something like that to my little cousin, she replied "well, SHE was born two months early and she's fine."








:


O.M.G. Are people really that completely clueless???!!!

Retorical question.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
Here's a lovely gem I got from my mother about an hour ago.

My cousin is having a baby and she wants to go back to work almost right away, so my mother will be nannying for her most of the week.

Today on the phone, my mother told me that my cousin couldn't wait another month for the baby and wanted to have him now and my mother agreed with her and advised her to ask her doctor to have a c-section so they could have the baby a month early!

And neither of them sees a problem with this.

When I shrieked at my mother for saying something like that to my little cousin, she replied "well, SHE was born two months early and she's fine."








:

And you'll look like a total UAV if you aren't shocked and horrified when the baby ends up in the NICU (







: that at 36 weeks it's only for a few days). Do they make "I'm sorry for you, but you know it's your own fault." cards?

"I'm sorry that you're feeling blue,
But you know why, 'cause I told you,
I told you just a month/week/day ago
You'd be better off if things went slow."


----------



## ernalala

It was one of the first very nice springtime days so when I took my almost 1yo out for a stroll I went to sit on a bench while he was in the stroller, facing the pleasant morning sun.

Two elderly man were sitting on another bench close by. Then they walked by and actually one of them had the nerve to MOVE the stroller/my child so that my child would not be facing the sun







:! In addition commenting that my son shouldn't be in the sun like that







.

If There's ANYTHING that makes me mad about interfering in parenting by others, especially strangers, is touching or moving my baby without asking and/or in a way I do NOT WANT.

I gave them very fierce looks while moving my son again and said that my baby IS facing the sun because in spite of their assumption the sun IS good for him!

(by the way summer sun here is way too strong, so springtime, early mornings in summer and noon for autumn/winter are the best for sun exposure and vitamin D skin consumption).

Luckily they did not attempt moving DS a second time







!


----------



## MusicianDad

Once in a blue moon we get someone who asks us what are we going to do if DD grows up straight.









Um... send her to repairative therapy and make her a lesbian I guess.









Most likely I'll help her pick out her wedding dress when she meets the man of her dreams.


----------



## Mommy2Austin

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
*Once in a blue moon we get someone who asks us what are we going to do if DD grows up straight.*









Um... send her to repairative therapy and make her a lesbian I guess.









Most likely I'll help her pick out her wedding dress when she meets the man of her dreams.









OMG thats special lol

I hope you pick out a lovely dress together


----------



## paquerette

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
And you'll look like a total UAV if you aren't shocked and horrified when the baby ends up in the NICU (







: that at 36 weeks it's only for a few days). Do they make "I'm sorry for you, but you know it's your own fault." cards?

Ah, but what if they're not too broken up over the NICU thing cause it gives her some extra recovery time at home alone?







: I've heard of people being like that.


----------



## jessica_lizette

*


----------



## MusicianDad

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jessica_lizette* 
Whenever I'm pissed off at my hubby I hold my poop for like three days to get back at him. Works like a charm.

...WTH does not pooping have to do with revenge?

Sounds more like she's never bothered to look up the mean of "anal retentive" and just stuck her own definition on it.


----------



## elisent

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
Sounds more like she's never bothered to look up the mean of "anal retentive" and just stuck her own definition on it.


----------



## IceyTheBatmom

I got more, from my dad. Mostly he just hassels me about avoiding junk food.

1. One time he was going on about how I was way too cautious about feeding DS, and I told him "Fine, if you're such an expert, go get some honey out of the kitchen for him, so he can get botulism and die." He turns to my mom and says "I think some people are way too caught up in the 'he could die' thing." She started to agree, but then I said, quite loudly, "I think some people are way too caught up in the 'telling me how to raise my kid,' thing." Then my mom laughed, and agreed with me, wholeheartedly.

2. My parents came over a couple days ago, and my dad asked "How long did that cloth diaper thing last?" I explained that the ones from the seriously overpriced diaper service sucked, and only really worked until DS got 'wiggly,' around 2 and 1/2 or 3 months old. Dad started to look smug, so I followed with "But the ones I'm sewing now don't leak nearly as much as those ones did, and he's bigger, so the disposibles cost more, so we're getting back in to it. Turns out washing them isn't as difficult." That wiped the look of his face.

3. So then a few subject changes later, he asked if his dear grandson was sleeping through the night. A common question, but much more reasonable now that DS is 10 months old. I said "Nope. I don't expect him to, either." Dad says "Isn't that the goal? Get him to sleep through the night? So you can sleep? You look like you need it." I explained that DS had taken two 30 minute naps in place of his usual two 1-1/2 to 3 hour naps that day, and that I do sleep through the night. DS goes to his bed for naps during the day, and for the first 'chunk' of the night, then when he wakes up, if DH is still up, he puts DS in the bed with me, or I'll get up and move him, so we get about 3 hours of time to ourselves, and DS can eat in his (and my) sleep until morning. The look on dad's face was 'Wow. You sure got that figured out.'


----------



## heidirk

Ahhh, (wiping tears from my eyes) I've been reading this thread all day! I love it.

I have a few things of my own to add, but first I'd like to offer a response to this:



ernalala said:


> Well, this is similar advice as I got from a pediatric dietician (free consultation offered by the hospital where DS1 was born and where he has his pediatrician). She insisted that now he is '6mo' (corrected age only less than 5mo!) I SHOULD start him on solids, I said sth about starting with some vegetables and fruit if I see he's ready, then she kept on telling me and INSISTING that my little baby should be put on REAL MEAL SOLIDS and IRON containing foods containing meat!, egg!, and that he should finish (finish!) three bowls of solids EVERY SINGLE DAY, and based on a strict scheme!!! I was not that super well informed yet about everything about babies but my common sense and mother instinct told me that this woman just didn't KNOW ANYTHING about what babies really need in their diet, which was of course still LOTS of breastmilk for the coming months (and beyond only I hadn't that clue yet ./
> 
> 
> 
> IMO you're quite right about the timing, and expecting any baby to 'finish' a meal. That's too much too soon!
> 
> Just wanted to let you know that the IBCLC reccomends veggies, meats and egg yolks as first foods, because of the very low incidents of allergies with those foods. If you have philosophical objections to meat eating, that's be a different story, of course, but there is some good evidence to support the introduction of grains and fruits as first foods as contributing to obesity.
> 
> Here are my gems!
> 
> From my Mother- You really should get him a walker so he can scoot around the house on his own! (DS was about 4 mos)
> me- Mom, it's not good for them to learn to walk that way, and it can damage their feet.
> mom- No seriously honey, it teaches them to be good problem solvers! (and learning to crawl/walk doesn't?)
> This is the same woman who let me take a trip down a flight of stairs in my walker as a infant!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> :
> 
> Then there was the very young male teller at the bank:
> I had just mustered my painful postpartum self enough to walk a block to the bank, and I had DS in the sling.
> Teller- That's a new way to carry a baby! (I see his supervisor visibly tense up)
> Me- Actually, it's a very OLD way to carry a baby.
> Supervisor relaxes, and smirks at ignorant young teller.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Then there's my grandmother, to whom it was recomended that she stop BF'ing her DD (my aunt) because she had mastitis. She said to me, 'I should have known I didn't need to do that, I grew up on a goat farm, and I should have asked my father what to do. Why, when a nanny got an infection, the first thing we did was milk her every chance we got!
> 
> Go, Granny, Go!
Click to expand...


----------



## chattie67

I had 3 people gang up on me last weekend and ask me if "That baby is sleeping in his own bed yet?" and went onto say "have you considerred the psychological damage you are doing to him?"
I replied "everyone has their own opinions about what's right or wrong, babies don't come with hand books but I know far more people with separation anxiety and emotionally unstable people who btw were born in the era when everyone thought the CIO way was the only way then I have friends who are 40 and still want to sleep with their mama's"

Then I told them that if he still wanted to sleep with me by the time he got married then he and his new wife could support me. LOL







:


----------



## HappyFox05

Not the dumbest, but pretty dumb - DD had a well-baby checkup last week and the dr recommended a multi-vitamin since there's not too much vitamin D in breastmilk. Um, it's JULY, not January. And we don't live at the South Pole, we live in Virginia. And no, we don't keep her in the house 24/7. Holy cow, don't these people know basic nutrition?


----------



## TopHat

This is a pregnancy one.

I UPed/UCed and while I was at Motherhood Maternity looking for some clothes, the sales clerk asked me what the gender of my baby would be (I was at 20 weeks). I said we weren't finding out.

"Can you do that?"
"Yeah we're not getting an ultrasound"
"That is so unsafe! what if...





















"

Then, when the next customer walked into the store, the clerk turned and asked her, "Don't you think she should get an ultrasound?"
"Yeah." + more





















lecture from that lady
Then the new customer made sure to write down her OB's number and told me to see him.

I would have left sooner, but the sales clerk took 10 minutes- holding my purchase in her hand- to give me a lecture.

Never went back.


----------



## aurora_skys

tophat thats really crappy, the clerk is there to dispense clothes, not medical advice! write them a letter citing the clerks name and how they have permanently lost a customer.


----------



## Maeve

I would complain. That was out of line.


----------



## Mommy2Austin

I haven't had a good experience with Motherhood maternity either.

I was about 20 weeks pregnant with DS1 and I'm on the lower end of plus size. I go in the store and the lady takes one look at me and says "Ma'am we don't have clothes in *your* size here. You'll have to go to the other Motherhood Maternity across town." I was so flabbergasted I just walked out. I did indeed go to the other MM because I needed clothes and they were much nicer there and were also stunned by the other stores attitude.

My older sister pulled a gem the other day. She pulled into the parking lot at the grocery store as I was leaving and so I stopped to talk. She was telling me how she was going to watch my niece Lily (my younger sister's daughter) while my sister went to shoot pool with her boyfriend and then was going to keep her overnight (for my little sister's birthday) Ok thats fine. She then proceeds to tell me "Yeah Beth was going to let her friend Liz watch Lily overnight, but *I* just didn't feel comfortable letting someone *I* didn't know watch Lily." I gave her a look and said "I highly doubt Beth would leave Lily with someone if she didn't trust them completely."









Oh and she also complains to everyone behind my back because I don't vax our kids.


----------



## leerypolyp

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jessica_lizette* 
Whenever I'm pissed off at my hubby I hold my poop for like three days to get back at him. Works like a charm.









up

OH MY. That was just, like, the best thing ever.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aurora_skys* 
tophat thats really crappy, the clerk is there to dispense clothes, not medical advice! write them a letter citing the clerks name and how they have permanently lost a customer.









:
And a good U/S tech will respect peoples' wishes not to find out anyway, so the woman was being absurd at the first question.

You should've grabbed your stuff from her and then promptly returned them. "Reason for return?" "I'm not giving money to a store where that woman works."


----------



## ThisLove

Oh my ...

This is from the weekend -
*Mom:* We took you out whether it was bedtime or not.
*Me:* Well, Calloway puts himself down for bed. He sleeps through the night, why mess with a bad thing? The last time you had him, you had to bring him back because you ignored me about bedtime.
*Mom:* That had nothing to do with bedtime, he's just too attached to you. He wouldn't stop screaming.
*Me:* Yeah, that's because you had him at Lowe's when he was supposed to be going to bed.
*Mom:* What does it matter? You can let him cry, it won't hurt him.

Then, from my SIL (same night) ...
*SIL:* Why are you all leaving? You were the last to show, you can't be the first to leave.
*Me (motions to sleeping Calloway in the Moby):* It's time for bed. Every time the kids go screaming by him, he wakes up.
*SIL:* Why do you have to be so difficult? We all have kids, we've heard them scream before.
*Me:* He doesn't need to scream. He knows what he wants, and that's to go to bed. At home.
*SIL:* You're going to have an unruly, mean child on your hands if you let him run your life. Look at Lydia, Ella and Jonah - they don't have a bedtime and they're perfectly fine. _(this is said as Lydia and Ella go sprinting by, with sticks in their hands, screaming and trying to kill each other)_
*Me:* Yeah ... Okay. Bye guys.
*SIL to my mother:* Katie doesn't know what's coming to her. She's bought into that hippy-cult attitude called Attachment Parenting. I read about it and it's a crock of shit.

My family's nuts, by the way.


----------



## TopHat

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 







:
And a good U/S tech will respect peoples' wishes not to find out anyway, so the woman was being absurd at the first question.

You should've grabbed your stuff from her and then promptly returned them. "Reason for return?" "I'm not giving money to a store where that woman works."

Yeah. When I pass by the store, I sometimes still see that clerk. Maybe I'll see if I can't get her name.









Last time I saw her she was speaking to another mother whose baby was in a bucket seat with a bottle propped up- the kid was no more than 4 weeks old. From what I got of the conversation, they were like best friends (the clerk and the other lady) and the poor babe was at least a yard away from anybody.

Well, I'm going to my parent's house this week for the first time in over a year. I'm sure I'll get to hear all kinds of things! They aren't big fans of bfing, not vaxing, co-sleeping, or even baby wearing "You're still wearing that..._thing?_."

It's hard for me to defend myself in front of them- they were pretty demeaning parents while I was growing up and I always feel like a child when I'm around them.

On the phone Sunday my mom asked if there was something I'd like to do when I'm in town. I said, "Yeah. I know there's an LLL meeting Friday morning I'd like to go to, especially with World Breastfeeding Week starting on Friday."
"We'll have to discuss that."

UGH! I'm a member of an organization and I'd like to go to a meeting. What is there to discuss?

DH says I should be sweet and invite her to come. Maybe I will.

Sorry so OT.







I'm just nervous about this trip- 6 days with just me and my baby- DH is staying behind to work. DH is such a help and backs me up and I won't have him with me.

But back on topic, I'm looking for good retorts that I can quickly memorize before this trip so when I get the interrogation, I don't sit there with a blank face. I've been reading this thread and the old one. There are some good ones, but I'm so bad at remembering them!

So yeah. Good retorts, please. I'll keep on reading the old thread, too.

Oh, I have one, kind of. I was selling slings at a fair with a couple of moms in our AP playgroup. One of the AP moms I was with jokingly said, "If you wear your baby too much, you'll spoil her!"
I joked back, "Well, I'm sorry, but I actually like my daughter, thank you very much!" We had a good laugh.

I'll have to use it in real life, sometime.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TopHat* 
They aren't big fans of bfing, not vaxing, co-sleeping, or even baby wearing "You're still wearing that..._thing?_."









: "Ex-cuse me!? That "thing" is MY baby." Then walk away. Bonus points for making them explain for 5+ minutes that they meant the carrier, but you have to keep a straight face.

The classic retort, "Well, I'm the mom, so your opinion really isn't worth anything, but thanks for thinking of me. Want some bean dip?"

Or the more polite version "Oh interesting, I'll have to think about that...want some bean dip?" (...) is either "wow, I really will have to think about that" or "okay, done, you're a twit." but you don't say them out loud.

"Gosh you really miss having a baby of your own, don't you?"

"Wow. That's um, an interesting opinion. Doesn't match with any of the research I've done, have any sources?"

"What? Does it hurt your feelings to see me breastfeed or something? Look mom, I'm sorry you feel left out, but I'm not about to offer you the other side."


----------



## butterfly_mommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TopHat* 

But back on topic, I'm looking for good retorts that I can quickly memorize before this trip so when I get the interrogation, I don't sit there with a blank face.

Actually sitting there with a blank look on my face or a confused look is one of my retorts to a stupid comment. Another I like to say is just "hmmmm, anyway..(change the subject)" Oh a "How do you mean?" If it someone I actually think I can educate then I go into all the research I have done and how wonderful attachment parenting is, or scary Vaxing is, etc


----------



## GoBecGo

I went to mothers group kind of washed out 2 weeks ago because DD is in the process of getting her final 4 molars.

Other mum: You look shattered.
Me: yeah i was up 4 times last night to DD.
Other mum: oh, we just ignore him between 8pm and 8am (!??!)
Me: well, she was in pain, so...
Other mum: well, on your head be it - if you keep getting up to her you'll only encourage the behaviour..
Me: (annoyed by now - sleep deprived remember) Oh so THAT'S why she keeps growing teeth! Because i'm ENCOURAGING her by showing her love! Is that why yours only has one? (and then i flounced off. To be fair he is only about 10 months old and DD only had one at that age, but i was SOOOOOO mad by then!)


----------



## elisent

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GoBecGo* 
Oh so THAT'S why she keeps growing teeth! Because i'm ENCOURAGING her by showing her love! Is that why yours only has one?


----------



## TopHat

Sapphire, those are great retorts- especially that last one. I'm sure my mother would _love_ to take me up on that one!









I need to write these down so I can practice them in my head during the plane trip...

I did remember a comment someone made to me early on. I was a math major in college, so I tutor out of my home. After I had DD, I took a couple of weeks off from tutoring, naturally. When I was telling one of the ladies I tutor (mid-20s, finishing up college) that I was going to take a 2 week break, she said, "Of course! You'll probably have her on a schedule by the time we start again!"

Right...

And then when I started tutoring again, I would hold DD in my sling or wrap, sometimes giving her my pinky to help her sleep. I was avoiding artificial nipples because of breastfeeding. So while I was helping her- writing out a problem with my right hand, pacifying my DD with my left pinky- she stated angrily, "Now would be a good time for a pacifier." I told her that this is my baby, my house, and my tutoring isn't being interrupted by DD- and I was even tutoring this lady for free as a service to her, which was quite generous of me!

Another one I just remembered:
When DH graduated from college, our DD was about 3 or 4 weeks old. His parents were in town, of course. His usually very understanding mother whispered to his grandmother, in front of DH (I was at home with DD), "She doesn't understand yet that she doesn't have to feed DD all the time."







That totally surprised me.

My MIL went to LLL meetings for years and even told her sons that one of their requirements in choosing a wife should be that they'll breastfeed (she is very adamant that it's the best thing). I can't believe she said that when DD was only 3/4 weeks old!

But usually my MIL is good about supporting me. She was very understanding when I lied down on the floor to nurse in her family room when we were visiting, and even let me have the couch. My DD is very picky about eating while lying down- she's refused to eat with me sitting up before, even though she was so hungry she was in tears. And my MIL has defended my UC to appalled family members, "I had a midwife who sat in the other room until the baby was crowning and then came in to catch. It sounds a lot like that, but without the midwife." Yay for my MIL!







:







:


----------



## mytwogirls

My 91 year old grandma "You will ruin those kids if you don't give them ice cream every now and then. Everyone knows ice cream is healthy."

NOOOOO!!!! I am the junk food Nazi at our house. My girls have NEVER had junk (fries, processed crap, candy, ice cream, chips, soda, etc.) and then my grandma compliments me on their good health. God help me!


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *elisent* 
























:
Best case, she learns not to be a UAV. Worst case, she never speaks to you again. Win!


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TopHat* 
she stated angrily, "Now would be a good time for a pacifier." I told her that this is my baby, my house, and my tutoring isn't being interrupted by DD- and I was even tutoring this lady for free as a service to her, which was quite generous of me!

She got angry at you for something that was none of her business while you were doing her a favor? You should've done her another favor and pointed out that being rude like that in the real world could get her fired--oh and that'll be $30 for today, but you can have another try at getting a free session next week.


----------



## Maeve

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TopHat* 

And then when I started tutoring again, I would hold DD in my sling or wrap, sometimes giving her my pinky to help her sleep. I was avoiding artificial nipples because of breastfeeding. So while I was helping her- writing out a problem with my right hand, pacifying my DD with my left pinky- she stated angrily, "Now would be a good time for a pacifier." I told her that this is my baby, my house, and my tutoring isn't being interrupted by DD- and I was even tutoring this lady for free as a service to her, which was quite generous of me!



I would have said "Yes it would, would you like me to get you one?".


----------



## TopHat

Maeve, that's a great one!

Yeah, I don't tutor her anymore.







She would cancel our tutoring an hour *after* she didn't show up. It was a pain.

Oh. And I know earlier in the thread people were talking about girls and boys being mistaken for each other.

I was at a Cinco de Mayo party this year and I had DD in a little blue overall outfit (I think overalls are the cutest things for kids). It was light blue with little pink and yellow flowers embroidered on it. The little shirt under it had ribbons on the sleeves. It was so cute!

Anyway, a lady at the party asked me if DD was a girl or boy because, "The outfit looks girly, but there's blue...(pause)... I'm confused."

I wanted to laugh so hard. I didn't know an outfit could confuse someone. Oh well.

I love this thread. I might be Internet-less this weekend at my parent's and I look forward to reading it all!


----------



## TopHat

Oh I remembered another one!

I knit and I sometimes meet up with local knitters to knit with them. There's one lady in the knitting group who had to tell me her pregnancy horror stories and everything. She's the kind of woman who is the self-designated expert on everything. Anyway, she monopolizes conversations and annoys me, so I was excited when I had this gem when I had DD in the wrap.

Lady: "Oh. How does that work? Can she breathe?"
Me: "It's just 7 yards of fabric serged on the edges. DD loves it."
Lady: "We didn't have those when I was a young mom." -she's probably in her early 40s
Me: "Oh? They didn't have fabric back then?"

She was caught off guard and I was so happy- it was like I was getting back at her for telling me how "dangerous" homebirth is.


----------



## mjg013

This thread is so much fun. I have a few. When dh and I were pregnant with our 1st son (our 5th child) we had this big conversation about circumcision. I already knew I wouldn't circ our son and it didn't take much to convince dh. I had talked to my mom about it because my dad was intact. Well, somehow my mil found out about it. She called my mom up and asked her if I was trying to make our kids weird. She said she understood about the breastfeeding and the cosleeping but she just couldn't understand not circumcising. I told dh he better call her and let her know that he was fully on board.

My mil is also one who brings dh's baby pictures up here every time I give birth so she can point out how much the baby looks like him. It drives me insane. Even my oldest who isn't biologically his looks just like him and I have to hear about it constantly.

The other really insane thing I heard wasn't said to me but to my sister. She had her first and decided to try breastfeeding. The midwife that delivered her ds told her that when she nursed she needed to pump her breasts afterwards until they were completely empty or the milk would stagnate and make the baby sick.


----------



## GoBecGo

Quote:

My mil is also one who brings dh's baby pictures up here every time I give birth so she can point out how much the baby looks like him.
My XMIL did this to my XSIL but to MAKE SURE the baby looked like her son


----------



## kmb9906

Just this past weekend, my SIL got on my case about not having DD on a "schedule." DH and I chose to follow DD's natural eating and sleeping rhythm instead of forcing her into a schedule that might not accommodate her appropriately. (We must be doing something right, because she goes to sleep at 8:30pm and sleeps through the night until 8:30am the next day!







That is a bedtime and waketime that SHE settled on.) Anyway, my SIL said that she couldn't believe we weren't "in control" of DD's sleep and eating schedule. She said it was necessary for us to establish our authority over DD by regulating when she eats and sleeps. I was dumbfounded. So, I am not supposed to feed my baby when she is hungry or let her sleep when she is tired? Grrrr.

She also wanted us to put DD on the floor on the other side of the dining room during a family dinner so DD wouldn't "disrupt" things.







Guess where DD sat? In the sling held close to mommy's heart. SIL can kiss it.


----------



## newmommy7-08

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kmb9906* 

She also wanted us to put DD on the floor on the other side of the dining room during a family dinner so DD wouldn't "disrupt" things.







Guess where DD sat? In the sling held close to mommy's heart. SIL can kiss it.

And putting the baby on the floor where she didn't want to be wouldn't have proved distracting... People amaze me... really they do!


----------



## Mommy2Austin

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kmb9906* 
She also wanted us to put DD on the floor on the other side of the dining room during a family dinner so DD wouldn't "disrupt" things.







Guess where DD sat? In the sling held close to mommy's heart. SIL can kiss it.

I would have told SIL if she was worried about being disrupted she was more than welcome to go sit on the other side of the dining room on the floor to eat. Some people just don't think.


----------



## TopHat

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kmb9906* 
She also wanted us to put DD on the floor on the other side of the dining room during a family dinner so DD wouldn't "disrupt" things.








Guess where DD sat? In the sling held close to mommy's heart. SIL can kiss it.

Ooh. So frustrating! We were at a friend's and they put their baby in their bucket seat (about 5 months old) _in the bathroom to CIO_. We were in the living room playing games. Poor baby!


----------



## 1Plus2

This one is kind of old but I still laugh when I think about it.

When a woman who use to live beside me found out I was having twins she asked if I was going to bf'd them too (she knew my oldest dd was bf'd). I told her that I was and gave her a whole list of reasons and added "Twins aren't cheap and breastmilk is free!" She looked at me like I was an idiot and said "You do know that WIC gives free formula?!"









Another time when my twin girls were very little a woman asked me if they were identical or fraternal. I told her they are identical. She said in a very ticked off voice "Well, you don't have them dressed alike!" Uhh...ok.


----------



## Awaken

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TopHat* 
Lady: "We didn't have those when I was a young mom." -she's probably in her early 40s
Me: "Oh? They didn't have fabric back then?"









that's funny. I am always amazed at how people think a sling or wrap is this new fangled crazy thing that moms today do- when it's probably one of the oldest parenting techniques around! I have definitely gotten the "your baby can't breathe in there! His neck is going to break! Is that _safe???_" comments!


----------



## aurora_skys

I think the confusion around our "newfangled" baby carriers is weird too. Didnt all Americans learn about Native Americans and Inuits in school? In like every picture there was a woman with her baby in a papoose. Its on the freaking Sacajawea coin for heavens sake! How can they possibly fail to make the connection that _all_ generations (somewhere, sometime) have carried their babiess?!?

And as far as stupid stuff goes, apparently my cat is going to:
a- suck the air out of the baby (a gem from my mom)
b- just suffocate the baby the old fashioned way via smothering
c- bite the baby on the face/ choke the baby trying to drink milk from the baby's mouth (??oookay...)
d- somehow poison the baby with some mysterious cat disease (and they arent talking about toxoplasmosis either)


----------



## ernalala

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aurora_skys* 
And as far as stupid stuff goes, apparently my cat is going to:
a- suck the air out of the baby (a gem from my mom)
b- just suffocate the baby the old fashioned way via smothering
c- bite the baby on the face/ choke the baby trying to drink milk from the baby's mouth (??oookay...)









I'd rather say your baby will soon be big and active enough to suffocate the cat via smothering, try to eat/drink from the cat's bowl and make the air unbreatheable often enough for poor cat, not mentioning the continuous tail and ear pulling, beating and chasing until the poor beast 'll get nuts







:
Finally, cat will learn to adapt to new being in the house


----------



## minkajane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aurora_skys* 
And as far as stupid stuff goes, apparently my cat is going to:
a- suck the air out of the baby (a gem from my mom)
b- just suffocate the baby the old fashioned way via smothering
c- bite the baby on the face/ choke the baby trying to drink milk from the baby's mouth (??oookay...)
d- somehow poison the baby with some mysterious cat disease (and they arent talking about toxoplasmosis either)











When I was pregnant with DS, my coworker FREAKED when she found out that I had cats and was planning on keeping them. She kept insisting that the cat would smell the milk on the baby's breath and sit on his chest and smother him. I actually happened to run across a copy of Cat Fancy the very next week addressing this very myth and I brought it to work and showed it to her. She said "I don't care what the magazine says, cats are DANGEROUS around babies!" and went on and on about how glad she was she got rid of her cats before she had kids.


----------



## LiLStar

once, out of curiousity, i expressed a little bit of milk into a bowl and offered it to the cats. They absolutely would not touch it.


----------



## ashleyhaugh

it always makes me sad when i hear of people getting rid of their cats because theyre pregnant


----------



## Lady Lilya

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LiLStar* 
once, out of curiousity, i expressed a little bit of milk into a bowl and offered it to the cats. They absolutely would not touch it.

I offered a drip to one cat via my finger and he had no interest either.


----------



## Lady Lilya

You know what? Maybe cats like formula.


----------



## ernalala

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
She kept insisting that the cat would smell the milk on the baby's breath and sit on his chest and smother him.

When my cat first spotted the 'thing' with waving arms and feet when we just brought DS1 in, she stared at 'it' with a weird expression on her face, and when 'it' started to make NOISE, she ran as fast as she could to the basement








The first few months she'd been camping in the basement







, we guess she needed to adjust a little bit to the new addition to our family and she really didn't like the baby smell, lest the human milk smell







. Then she slowly got used to the baby and it was not so overwhelming for her with the second arrival. And she's been really nice and tolerant to my kids, even though they were often, and sometimes still are, bothering her (REALLY bothering) and she just lets them and goes away when she really gets annoyed/harassed. I noticed that when she lashes out, she doesn't even extract her claws to them (and she may do that to me or other adults when making her really mad).

Yes, we too often got the comment what we'd do with the cat







, when I was pregnant, and after. But people now see we have kids AND a cat and that it goes perfectly well. Some still have their reservations, but anyway, it's our life. We don't get strange cat illnesses, my kids learn not to eat from/mess with cat's food and eventually even learn to feed her, and learn to caress and care for an animal being. People have even been wondering where all the cat hair goes ?. Of course you need to keep your house/seats more or less free from pet hair when you have pets, it's not agreeable to have that around, not for us either. And I love to wear black and dark colours







. You may find some in my clothes, cat hairs tend to stick to me







.


----------



## In Exile

Gee, we have 3 (!) cats and we did pretty well. When on earth was the first and last time a cat actually "smothered" a baby? Where did that stupid myth come from?
I have never, ever seen one of our cats climb onto our sleeping boywonder. They liked the stroller and the cradle, our bed sure, but smother him? Gee, makes you wonder if those folks concerned about a baby ever really had a cat.

I second the previous description of "first time they see those waving arms and legs" they pretty much run-not to mention they start crying, boy, than they run even faster.

One of my cats actually was the "mothering" and protecting cat. She would come running to me and parade up and down in front of me meowing as if to tell me "he's crying-do something about it".
The same cat also NURSED kittens that were not hers- she just let them latch and suckle-amazing to see, we always wondered if she did start lactating because the kittens were latching and seemingly nursing A LOT.


----------



## BeccaBaby1

Okay... A few:

Hub's family is all about the formula so here are a few amusing comments I've received:

A) From uncle in a disapproving tone: "I've heard that breastfeeding makes the baby become attached to her mother."

B) From aunts: "Look at her thighs (nice round chubby ones)! And she's only had breast milk!"

C) From aunts (at 5 months): "She hasn't had to go to the hospital yet?
Me: "No, she's very healthy"
Aunts: "And she's only been breastfed!?!"

My baby's poor little cousins have been in and out of the hospital since birth with infection after infection and high fevers. They were never breastfed. Maybe I'm doing my part in promoting the boob juice!


----------



## Lady Lilya

DH has been on a business trip for 2 weeks, and the cat that is super attached to him has been lonely so he has been going to almost-1yo DS for affection. The last few nights he has come into the bed while DS is sleeping and nuzzled his head and cuddled up against him.


----------



## KristyDi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *In Exile* 
One of my cats actually was the "mothering" and protecting cat. She would come running to me and parade up and down in front of me meowing as if to tell me "he's crying-do something about it".
The same cat also NURSED kittens that were not hers- she just let them latch and suckle-amazing to see, we always wondered if she did start lactating because the kittens were latching and seemingly nursing A LOT.

My female basset hound does this. If Katie starts crying Margo (the dog) runs up and and starts whining insistently at me like "She's crying, fix it."

When ever someone says something like "That's a new way to carry a baby" when I'm wearing DD I respond with, "It's actually one of the oldest ways to carry a baby." especially if I'm using a wrap.


----------



## mamalisa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KristyDi* 
My female basset hound does this. If Katie starts crying Margo (the dog) runs up and and starts whining insistently at me like "She's crying, fix it."

When we first brought dd home from the hospital it was a race to see who got to her first. She'd cry and the dog, ds and then me bringing up the rear going to get to her. It was actually pretty sweet, the dog could be in another part of the house and dd would cry and she'd take off like crazy trying to get to her. Poor dd has like 4 mothers.


----------



## veganone

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kmb9906* 

She also wanted us to put DD on the floor on the other side of the dining room during a family dinner so DD wouldn't "disrupt" things.







Guess where DD sat? In the sling held close to mommy's heart. SIL can kiss it.

I'm trying to figure out how putting a baby on the floor on the other side of the room is supposed to be less distracting than in a sling. My DD would have sat on the floor crying, which is a little distracting!


----------



## veganone

I would not say anything in a qualified way, like "I'd like to". Just say "I am going to a LLL meeting on..." Or, "we decided (that way it's you AND DH, not just you) to do X"

I also like the suggestion "Interesting opinion, that doesn't match up with any of the reseach I've done, what is your source?" And, always, "our pediatrician says to do X".

I also am big on, oh, that's how they did it way back when. Now they know that (or the AAP recommends) is't much safer/healthier/better to do it this way."

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TopHat* 
Yeah. When I pass by the store, I sometimes still see that clerk. Maybe I'll see if I can't get her name.









Last time I saw her she was speaking to another mother whose baby was in a bucket seat with a bottle propped up- the kid was no more than 4 weeks old. From what I got of the conversation, they were like best friends (the clerk and the other lady) and the poor babe was at least a yard away from anybody.

Well, I'm going to my parent's house this week for the first time in over a year. I'm sure I'll get to hear all kinds of things! They aren't big fans of bfing, not vaxing, co-sleeping, or even baby wearing "You're still wearing that..._thing?_."

It's hard for me to defend myself in front of them- they were pretty demeaning parents while I was growing up and I always feel like a child when I'm around them.

On the phone Sunday my mom asked if there was something I'd like to do when I'm in town. I said, "Yeah. I know there's an LLL meeting Friday morning I'd like to go to, especially with World Breastfeeding Week starting on Friday."
"We'll have to discuss that."

UGH! I'm a member of an organization and I'd like to go to a meeting. What is there to discuss?

DH says I should be sweet and invite her to come. Maybe I will.

Sorry so OT.







I'm just nervous about this trip- 6 days with just me and my baby- DH is staying behind to work. DH is such a help and backs me up and I won't have him with me.

But back on topic, I'm looking for good retorts that I can quickly memorize before this trip so when I get the interrogation, I don't sit there with a blank face. I've been reading this thread and the old one. There are some good ones, but I'm so bad at remembering them!

So yeah. Good retorts, please. I'll keep on reading the old thread, too.

Oh, I have one, kind of. I was selling slings at a fair with a couple of moms in our AP playgroup. One of the AP moms I was with jokingly said, "If you wear your baby too much, you'll spoil her!"
I joked back, "Well, I'm sorry, but I actually like my daughter, thank you very much!" We had a good laugh.

I'll have to use it in real life, sometime.


----------



## kluella

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lady Lilya* 
You know what? Maybe cats like formula.

Mine does. We supplement a little as needed and when that formula lid comes off, Wyatt is at my feet waiting. He will jump up on the counter and lick up any powder that I drop on it. After DH made a bottle and left the scoop on the counter, I found it licked clean and hidden in one of my shoes (where the cat likes to keep his things).

He can't get enough of the stuff. When I'm nursing DS he's nowhere to be found, but if someone's giving him a bottle you can bet that the cat is on that person's lap, trying to shove the baby out of the way.


----------



## Terpsfan

Maybe I am just cranky due to being up every hour with DD all night, but I got a real dumb one this morning at my doggie daycare/kennel. I am dropping our dog off this morning since we are going on vacation and I am wearing DD in the Ergo. She's 21lbs, 8 months. I am trying to manage crazy excited dog (he loves going there) and fill out paperwork at the same time - with fuzzy, sleepy brain. The owner says, "she's getting too big to be carried around like that" to me. Uh, what is my alternative?? Carrying her so my arms fall off and sit her on the counter so she can grab at all the crap up there? Leave her in the car??? I just ignored the comment... I wish I had a really good comeback but in my sleep deprived state I had nothing. I was on auto-pilot


----------



## In Exile

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Terpsfan* 
Maybe I am just cranky due to being up every hour with DD all night, but I got a real dumb one this morning at my doggie daycare/kennel. I am dropping our dog off this morning since we are going on vacation and I am wearing DD in the Ergo. She's 21lbs, 8 months. I am trying to manage crazy excited dog (he loves going there) and fill out paperwork at the same time - with fuzzy, sleepy brain. The owner says, "she's getting too big to be carried around like that" to me. Uh, what is my alternative?? Carrying her so my arms fall off and sit her on the counter so she can grab at all the crap up there? Leave her in the car??? I just ignored the comment... I wish I had a really good comeback but in my sleep deprived state I had nothing. I was on auto-pilot










"Well it's obviously still working".

"Boy, you really have your hands full"-when I wear DS.
"Actually, I have 2 (!!) free hands!"

Have fun on your vacation!


----------



## MeloMama08

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TopHat* 

But back on topic, I'm looking for good retorts that I can quickly memorize before this trip so when I get the interrogation, I don't sit there with a blank face. I've been reading this thread and the old one. There are some good ones, but I'm so bad at remembering them!


My favorite response from a conversation on the BFing board about responding to people's idiotic comments when you are nursing in public-

"*pause*... What an odd thing to say!"


----------



## elisent

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Terpsfan* 
Maybe I am just cranky due to being up every hour with DD all night, but I got a real dumb one this morning at my doggie daycare/kennel. I am dropping our dog off this morning since we are going on vacation and I am wearing DD in the Ergo. She's 21lbs, 8 months. I am trying to manage crazy excited dog (he loves going there) and fill out paperwork at the same time - with fuzzy, sleepy brain. The owner says, "she's getting too big to be carried around like that" to me. Uh, what is my alternative?? Carrying her so my arms fall off and sit her on the counter so she can grab at all the crap up there? Leave her in the car??? I just ignored the comment... I wish I had a really good comeback but in my sleep deprived state I had nothing. I was on auto-pilot









Umm... well she can't exactly walk! What are you supposed to do?


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## ernalala

double post


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## ernalala

I'Ve been sending DS1 to private pre-school this year for the first year (he's now 4,5) and since I am a SAHM I want him to be able to enjoy what is the Summer holiday too. So I keep him home with me and his little brother for two months and then he'll go again for half days. He only goes to swimming twice a week and sometimes a pick-nick with his school. Other kids go all year long, all Summer long, since both parents are WOH. But for us pre-school is not a necessary daycare but a fun extra for my son, and I'm sure a Summer break (when other kids in the neighbourhood have holidays too) will be nice for DS1 and all of us.
Yesterday I went to pick him up with DS2 from swimming and another SAHM came to pick up her daughter from half day school. I told her about our Summer arrangement. Her reaction was like: ''WHAT on earth will you do with him (them) ALL day/Summer long?'' Uhm, aren't they my children, and what about doing something nice TOGETHER with my own children? (Yes, even if that can be tough some days!)
I found it a pretty stupid question







.


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## tjjazzy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *not now* 
What the hell does that (in the bold) have to do with breast feeding? I can see the obesity, maybe the diabetes (which is genetic or a product of the obesity) and _maybe_ the balding (although female balding can be genetic or diet/health related) but the virginity? Never been in a relationship? Drivers license? That's just being petty which puts you on her level.

thank you. i am 29 and do not have a driver's license. i do not see the problem with that and neither does my husband. *sheesh* _must_ be b/c i wasn't breastfed.


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## MommyJoia

My MIL refers to my kids as "my baby" like when she calls she says "where is my baby" and then when I asked her what she wanted them to call her she said, "mom... you can be mommy and I can be mom" I was like, "Ummm no, I'm their mom, mommy,mother, mama... you're the grandmother"


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## RoseDuperre

Oy. I just finished the first visit of the in-laws. Compared to so many of the other stories here, the experience wasn't too terrible. A lot of inconsiderateness about how carefully everything has to be timed with me & Lily (we're still working on some nursing challenges & I'm still pumping around the clock), too tedious to go into here.

MIL brought up vaxing, which I mostly deflected by saying I'm going to be doing more a lot more research; asked "You don't put her on her side to sleep?" when she saw Lily napping on our bed (at least I didn't have to defend cosleeping); and asked Lily in that totally annoying pretending-to-talk-to-baby-but-really-making-a-crack-at-you way, "So are you ever allowed to just fuss by yourself a little or are you always picked up"







And true to cliche, the myth about cats got brought up too! I mentioned what I had learned here about it coming from cats smelling the milk on a baby's breath (of course she had to contradict me about the reasons for it, ugh). I was thinking of this thread the whole time . . . All in all, pretty run-of-the-mill stuff, basically.

But one thing really did make me go "HUH?!?" Lily had the hiccups because, well, she's a _3 1/2 month old baby_. Someone else was holding her and commented on them, and she said "She's stressed. Hiccups are a sign of stress."

Wha? Never mind that Lily is about the most mellow and contented baby 98% of the time, I have never heard this about hiccups EVER. For a baby or an adult. It's just a spasm of the diaphragm that happens somewhat randomly, as far as I understand, though I know overfeeding can sometimes trigger it. I of course (later) looked hiccups up in every baby book I own just to doublecheck - nothing besides describing it as perfectly normal. Has anyone ever heard this about hiccups and is there any truth to it?


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## MommyJoia

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RoseDuperre* 
But one thing really did make me go "HUH?!?" Lily had the hiccups because, well, she's a 3 1/2 month old baby. Someone else was holding her and commented on them, and she said "She's stressed. Hiccups are a sign of stress."

What? Never mind that Lily is about the most mellow and contented baby 98 of the time, I have never herd this about hiccups EVER. For a baby or an adult. It's just a spasm of the diaphragm that happened somewhat randomly, as far as I understand, though I know overfeeding can sometimes trigger it. I of course (later) looked hiccups up in every baby book I own just to doublecheck - nothing besides describing it as perfectly normal. Has anyone ever heard this about hiccups and is there any truth to it?

not stress, but over stimulation _can_ cause it. I know when I really get my DD laughing when she should be winding down, she gets them... I wouldn't exactly cause it stress.

[sarcasm]Yeah, I'm sure with all your love and AP, your baby's stressed to the max[/sarcasm]


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## nolonger

Here's a new one from an otherwise intelligent childless person I volunteer with that has me fuming (and I'm SO glad I can vent here):

I was trying to explain that I have to cut back a bit on my activism because ds absolutely cannot stand the carseat or bicycle trailer so I have to walk everywhere, whichb takes time, and she asked if I wore him as much at home as I do at work and said, "Don't you think that's your problem? You need to stop doing that."

ds loves to go to work with me and I love being able to work, but it makes me so mad when he's treated as if he were something less than human or as if his needs didn't matter!

While I'm on the subject of walking, pretty much every time I walk across town I get people stopping to offer me rides. Um...that's very sweet of you but I can't accept even if I want to because of car seat laws.

I've also had cops stop me and give me the third degree because they think I'm homeless since I'd rather walk than break the law or torture my kid.

tjjazzy, thank you for not driving; I didn't get my license until I was 30 and I can't get over how people assume that nondrivers are "irresponsible" in the age of peak oil and climate change. I almost always rode my bicycle during my pregnancy and I couldn't believe how many people would ask, "Why on earth are you riding a bicycle in your condition?"

Well, duh! My kid has to live here! After fifteen cycles of TTC I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to bring a desperately wanted and much loved child into this world; that does NOT make me want to sh!t all over his planet!


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## LaurenB

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyJoia* 
My MIL refers to my kids as "my baby" like when she calls she says "where is my baby" and then when I asked her what she wanted them to call her she said, "mom... you can be mommy and I can be mom" I was like, "Ummm no, I'm their mom, mommy,mother, mama... you're the grandmother"









: OH MY GOD!







:


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## not now

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyJoia* 
My MIL refers to my kids as "my baby" like when she calls she says "where is my baby"

My best friend, who will also be the godmother, does this all the time. I blow her off because well, I don't care if I offend her. The man, on the other hand, is about to kill her.


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## tjjazzy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *In Exile* 
Gee, we have 3 (!) cats and we did pretty well. When on earth was the first and last time a cat actually "smothered" a baby? Where did that stupid myth come from?

it's really not stupid myth. my mom found me with my brother's cat ON MY FACE when i was an infant. a friend of mine's dad found a cat in the same position on him. while i think it is stupid to get rid of a cat just b/c they might do this, i did make sure that my cats understood they were not allowed in the baby's room/crib/car seat/etc. before DS #1 was born.


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## tjjazzy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *noordinaryspider* 

tjjazzy, thank you for not driving; I didn't get my license until I was 30 and I can't get over how people assume that nondrivers are "irresponsible" in the age of peak oil and climate change. I almost always rode my bicycle during my pregnancy and I couldn't believe how many people would ask, "Why on earth are you riding a bicycle in your condition?"


thank you for the positive feedback







i get SO MUCH negative feedback about it. it's ridiculous. unless these ppl are my mother or my husband (who both give me rides when needed), i don't get why they think it's their business to CONSTANTLY say "aren't you going to get your license?" "when are you going to get your license?" "did you get your license yet?" etc. etc. these are ppl who have never given me rides and whom i have never asked for rides. i walk everywhere and the neighbours all drive to the store; yeah, i'm the one who is the problem here.


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## chiropractic4kids

A woman told me once to watch for strange pee streams from my DS. One of her boys had to have surgery to re-open his urethral opening because the disposable diapers she was using (he was 4 years old at the time this happened) were rubbing on his penis and between the chemicals in the diapers and the scar tissue from his circumcision the hole was covered over with tissue. The doctor actually told her that it was because of the diaper chemicals and the circ.

I told her that I would certainly keep an eye out for that (in my intact, cloth-diapered son who has been diaper-free since he was 14 months old).


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## chiropractic4kids

I forgot one...

"I think breastmilk is okay, but breastfeeding is wrong."

Yeah, um, okay. So, you hold the baby, yeah, just like that, no back a few feet. There, good. Ready? Now, I'm going to aim as best I can, but you know, these milk ducts can spray in all different directions, so if I accidentally squirt you in the eye, please don't be offended. I'll do my best to aim right for the baby, now just be sure to hold his mouth open so the milk goes in, okay?


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## MCatLvrMom2A&X

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tjjazzy* 
it's really not stupid myth. my mom found me with my brother's cat ON MY FACE when i was an infant. a friend of mine's dad found a cat in the same position on him. while i think it is stupid to get rid of a cat just b/c they might do this, i did make sure that my cats understood they were not allowed in the baby's room/crib/car seat/etc. before DS #1 was born.

Any time a infant and a pet is left alone together there could be issues were the myth comes into play is when people think that all cats are out to kill babies







: I got the same crap when I got pg with dd.

If I had a dime for every time I was asked "So what are you going to do with the cats?" I would be able to put the kids through collage.







:

It is common sense not to leave animals alone with infants/young kids. At least I used to think it was until I started getting the above question.

Like the other pp's when I brought the babies home the cats would take off like a shot. It took several weeks before they got used to them and then one of them made it her duty to sleep under the bassinett when dd was in the living room with me.


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## not now

I think the myth stems a lot from the fact that the cats like to smell the milk on the baby's breath so they get really close to them. When I drink milk or eat cereal my cat will get right in my face so he can smell the milk. I'm sure the first time I see my 12 lb cat trying to smell my son's breath I'll be a little freaked out.


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## aurora_skys

hmm, if my mil ever asks "Where's my baby" Im going to refer her to her SON.


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## edensmama

The kids and I went to visit my mom last week and she was commenting on Eden's behavior, I've posted about the issues we are having. My mother proceeds to tell me that Eden needs a spank spoon, like she used on me as a child. I explained to her that I would never use anything to HIT my child with. Mom felt this would straighten Eden up, b/c it worked on me--That's b/c I was scared of my mother. I told my mom that I didn't want that kind of relationship with my children. She proceeded to tell me that I can't be friends with my kids that I need to be the AUTHORITY figure and show her who's boss.







That made me angry and instead of totally blowing up at her I just walked away. I don't want a relationship like her and I had I want a positive, nuturing bond b/w my children, I don't want them to be scared of me.







She infuriates me, especially when she speaks to dd the way she use to speak to me. I guess that's why we only visit once a year.

Thanks for letting me vent!!


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## CheapPearls

I just thought of something while reading a few "Baby needs a coat" stories on page 17...

My best friend used to live with her boyfriend (now husband) and his parents. Her MIL is seriously psycho and I'm happy I wasn't around her much. I was visiting her one day when ds#1 was 8/9 months old. It was November and was a little chilly when we left our house so we just had on one extra layer. We stayed later then I was planning so when it was time to leave it was COLD. So I put on ds's sweater and hat, wrap him in his blanket, hold him tight to me and jog 10 ft from their door to my car.

My friend called me later to tell me that right after I left her MIL told her that she wouldn't be surprised if my baby DIED before January because I didn't have him dressed right.







: Sure I was a little unprepared but it wasn't like he was in summer clothes and we were walking home. That's just the tip of the iceberg with this women.


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## CheapPearls

Got a sling one.

I had ds#3 in a ring sling and he was sound asleep and a greeter at walmart stopped me on the way in.

Her: "Can I see? ... how old is he?"
Me: "2 weeks." with a big proud mama smile.
Her: "Oh that looks uncomfortable! He's all squished in there!"
Me: "He loves it. He was like that for 9 months. He wouldn't be sleeping if he was uncomfortable."
Her: "Don't you bump him on the cart?"
Me: "No."
She just shook her head and I went about my shopping.

On the way out:
Her: "That can't be comfortable. He still looks all squished."
Me: "He's sleeping. I love it, he loves it." Proud mama smile and I walk away.

I'm glad that I was stopped more for "That is so cool! Where did you get it?/I wish I had one when I had my babies." more then I got bad comments about slings.







I educated a lot of people on babywearing during my grocery trips.


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## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *edensmama* 
I don't want a relationship like her and I had I want a positive, nuturing bond b/w my children, I don't want them to be scared of me.







She infuriates me, especially when she speaks to dd the way she use to speak to me. I guess that's why we only visit once a year.

Have you tried saying this to your mom? Or are you still trying to be polite and not tell her you think her parenting was lousy?


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## rightkindofme

When I read this thread I can't help but think how _nice_ you all are. I would not be nice if people said these things to me. If I were feeling really polite I would say something along the lines of, "Your ignorance is showing. You should try harder to cover it up." Depending on my relationship with the person that is probably way nicer than I would be though.

Congratulations to all of you for your decorum!


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## deadheadmomma

edensmama - I know how you feel. My main memory of childhood is being scared of my mother. She still talks about how you have to train children, dogs and horses by teaching them early who is boss. I also don't want that kind of relationship with my DS. I let my DD be raised by her dad's parents because I was 17 and afraid I would be the same kind of mother mine was (best decision I ever made). Fortunately, my mom is a little bit saner than she was, she constantly apologizes for my childhood, but I am NEVER letting her babysit DS. And if she ever says anything mean to him I will never let her see him again.

That said, I do believe you can't be your child's friend. Children need a parent. I think if you are too concerned with whether your child likes you that you may not set appropriate boundaries for them. But this doesn't really come into play until they are pre-teens I think. Of course you'll be your baby's best friend. I'm just talking about when parents are afraid to say no because "they won't like me anymore".


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## Daniel's Kitty

My cat was very interested in breast milk, but he was 6 weeks old when we found him and ds2 was 8 weeks.

My mom was giving the boys a little juice the other day and I found out that she has been giving them diet juice on purpose because her mom gave them diet soda when they were little because it caused less heartburn.

Another one from my mom.
Mom: what do you want them to drink while I am watching them?
Me: milk or water, but they can have a little bit of juice I'd rather they drink more water.
Mom: If you don't want them to drink to much juice I can just give them Kool-aid or Crystal light.
Me: I'd rather them drink juice than Kool-aid it is more natural (she went and bought the juice sweetened with sucralose to avoid them having heartburn)


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## ramlita

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hippie Mama in MI* 
She went too far last week, though. At her house, a bird has nested in an eave near a window, and laid eggs there. My mom was griping about how the mama bird often leaves the nest, and leaves the eggs alone in the cool mornings. Mom was fretting about the baby birds getting cold.

I said, "Mom, I'm sure the mama robin has it under control."

Mom said, "You'd think so. I sure hope she knows what she's doing."

I laughed at her, I couldn't help it. She actually thought she knew how to care for eggs better than a mama robin. My mother, the interventionist.

PS. The baby robins hatched a few days ago and are just fine, of course. They'll never know just how close their mama came to being reported to the birdie CPS...


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## angela&avery

i have a friend who tells me

#1 my kids are so much EASIER than her one kid bc they have each other to play with... (ok it would have NOTHING to do with how hard I have worked with them for the last 3 years on sibling rivalry and all of the books I have read about sibling rivalry and GD Parenting and how hard I have worked to change my reactions to help lesson the rivalry they had at ages 1 and 3 when I thought I was going to LOSE my MIND.... nothing to do with that...)

#2. my house is always clean bc its small (bull crap, smaller houses have lesser places for things to go ... i still have two kids, and it must have nothing to do with my dedication to having a clean house)

#3.my yard looks nice bc its smaller than hers and not as much upkeep and my floors are clean bc they are tile and bc I see the dirt im motivated to clean them more often!!!! (seriously????







... I know this one isnt parenting but i had to vent)


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## ilovebabies

Quote:


Originally Posted by *angela&avery* 
i have a friend who tells me

#1 my kids are so much EASIER than her one kid bc they have each other to play with... (ok it would have NOTHING to do with how hard I have worked with them for the last 3 years on sibling rivalry and all of the books I have read about sibling rivalry and GD Parenting and how hard I have worked to change my reactions to help lesson the rivalry they had at ages 1 and 3 when I thought I was going to LOSE my MIND.... nothing to do with that...)

#2. my house is always clean bc its small (bull crap, smaller houses have lesser places for things to go ... i still have two kids, and it must have nothing to do with my dedication to having a clean house)

#3.my yard looks nice bc its smaller than hers and not as much upkeep and my floors are clean bc they are tile and bc I see the dirt im motivated to clean them more often!!!! (seriously????







... I know this one isnt parenting but i had to vent)

Whatever makes her feel better.









I can vouch for the small house looking messier. There is no place for the clutter to go and it clutters so much faster BECAUSE it's small.


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## angela&avery

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ernalala* 
I'Ve been sending DS1 to private pre-school this year for the first year (he's now 4,5) and since I am a SAHM I want him to be able to enjoy what is the Summer holiday too. So I keep him home with me and his little brother for two months and then he'll go again for half days. He only goes to swimming twice a week and sometimes a pick-nick with his school. Other kids go all year long, all Summer long, since both parents are WOH. But for us pre-school is not a necessary daycare but a fun extra for my son, and I'm sure a Summer break (when other kids in the neighbourhood have holidays too) will be nice for DS1 and all of us.
Yesterday I went to pick him up with DS2 from swimming and another SAHM came to pick up her daughter from half day school. I told her about our Summer arrangement. Her reaction was like: ''WHAT on earth will you do with him (them) ALL day/Summer long?'' Uhm, aren't they my children, and what about doing something nice TOGETHER with my own children? (Yes, even if that can be tough some days!)
I found it a pretty stupid question







.


yeh, my kids go to public school and my ds is 7... do you know how sick I am of everyone asking me what he is doing this summer?? (...lol i just realized this is life with a babe and I dont have any babes right now... OH well, hope its still ok if i chime in??) I mean, seriously, what are we going to do?? Really?? He doesnt need any activities... me, ds and dd have been going to the beach , the lake, the library and just enjoying each other and connecting with each other.... it has been really great!!! Every time i see a parent from school, its like oh is he doing basketball camp? soccer camp? swimming? daycamp??

uhm, no, we go to the pool and the lake and he swims on his own without floaties in deep water.... because we go all the time.. and spend time together.. and like.. have fun and stuff.







.. LOL


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## angela&avery

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ilovebabies* 
Whatever makes her feel better.









I can vouch for the small house looking messier. There is no place for the clutter to go and it clutters so much faster BECAUSE it's small.


thank you!!! validation is bliss!!







:


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## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *angela&avery* 
i have a friend who tells me

#1 my kids are so much EASIER than her one kid bc they have each other to play with... (ok it would have NOTHING to do with how hard I have worked with them for the last 3 years on sibling rivalry and all of the books I have read about sibling rivalry and GD Parenting and how hard I have worked to change my reactions to help lesson the rivalry they had at ages 1 and 3 when I thought I was going to LOSE my MIND.... nothing to do with that...)

#2. my house is always clean bc its small (bull crap, smaller houses have lesser places for things to go ... i still have two kids, and it must have nothing to do with my dedication to having a clean house)

#3.my yard looks nice bc its smaller than hers and not as much upkeep and my floors are clean bc they are tile and bc I see the dirt im motivated to clean them more often!!!! (seriously????







... I know this one isnt parenting but i had to vent)

Unless you make a habit of criticizing her about her kids (yeah, right) I'm so sorry your friend has such a horrible view of herself. Wouldn't keep me from avoiding her to keep from saying "get with it and do something", but I feel sorry for her.

She is 100% right about the yard though. We moved from 0.23 acres and that thing was such a PITA to mow like 4 hours *after* clearing away brush, and don't get me started on raking. Next house, we're getting a tiny tiny yard, making 90% of it into a garden and replanting the rest with clover and other low growing ground cover. Basically a strip that's just enough for the kids and/or family pets to run around the house in circles.

Regarding the parenting stuff. Does she seriously think your kids babysit each other?


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## angela&avery

no i dont criticize but i also dont have a lot of the issues with my LO's as she does with her LO... I want one more and her dh doesnt.. and she says all the time, oh but it would be so nice htey would play like your kids do.. and im like yes, but it takes work!!! Half the time she complains about all she has to do for this one little guy!!! I can imagine her dealing with all the fighting that can go on!!!

and while i can see the yard thing, i dont think having a small yard would really make that much of a difference, iykwim? she is talking about spreading grass seed, which seriously wouldnt be that big of a deal in her yard.... Im a doer though, I just am... Id think nothing of going out and spreading seed for a good hour with my kids.... she has about a billion reasons why she cant do it....

almost all of it is laziness IMO......

can you tell im fed up?? its been a looooong summer and I need some space I guess.. LOL


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## tabrizia

Okay I have one. My in-laws were babysitting tonight while DH and I went out to dinner. We have had two power outages in the past few days so DH mentioned that they could go somewhere if the power went out, he wasn't thinking. And I sort of looked at him and went, "They can go to the grocery store (it is within walking distance and not affected by the power outages), they don't have a car seat."

To which my father in law replied, "Oh I can just sit in the backseat with him on my lap."

My only response, "No you can't it is against the law."

Seriously people I know your only child is 31, but do you really think it is safe to drive anywhere with a child on your lap? I really do love them, but DS won't be driving anywhere with them anytime soon.


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## amberskyfire

I hate it when people tell me that I'm spoiling my baby by holding her all the time. My mother is especially bad at it, but I really love when random people in the store and on the street tell me that.

I just look down at their baby who's strapped into an expensive stroller with a vibrating heat pad, a million dangling toys, a music box, a sun shade, and a bottle prop and think to myself:

"Ooookay. MY kid has no toys, just me to interact with. YOU on the other hand run out and buy every single expensive thing you can find to keep the child happy and entertained - and MY baby is the one that's spoiled?"







:


----------



## pear-shaped

I just heard one this morning that made my blood boil. It's really more about my being an immigrant where I live than about parenting advice, but I have to get it off my chest. MIL was talking to a hairdresser who lives just a couple of doors down from us. The hairdresser told MIL that she could hear my dd crying sometimes and figured that since I'm a foreigner, I must need help with the baby. I guess only people born here know how to be parents.







Sorry rest of the world!

I'm sure everyone here thinks I'm weird and they probably feel bad for dd. I mean, I don't wheel her around in a stroller all the time, overdressed and with a pacifier clipped to her shirt and I don't feed her rice cereal in vegetable broth with powdered meat it in at noon and at six in the evening, like everyone else here does. I could go on and on and on...


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## kmb9906

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
I hate it when people tell me that I'm spoiling my baby by holding her all the time. My mother is especially bad at it, but I really love when random people in the store and on the street tell me that.

I just look down at their baby who's strapped into an expensive stroller with a vibrating heat pad, a million dangling toys, a music box, a sun shade, and a bottle prop and think to myself:

"Ooookay. MY kid has no toys, just me to interact with. YOU on the other hand run out and buy every single expensive thing you can find to keep the child happy and entertained - and MY baby is the one that's spoiled?"







:









:

DH and I went to a friends' house for a dinner party this past weekend and I was wearing DD in my ring sling. I cannot tell you how many people told me that she was never going to learn to sit up by herself or walk as long as she was "always" held in the sling.









DH's grandmother also thinks we hold her too much and wants to know why we didn't just put DD in the floor and go about our business. Um, yeah, 'cause we decided to have kids just so we could ignore them and let them lay in the floor ... Honestly, I feel bad for people who comment on my holding DD too much. I love holding her, especially now that we've gotten to the age where she will place her hands where she wants them. I love the feeling of that tiny little hand on my shoulder or the sight of that tiny hand grasping the strap of my nursing tank.


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## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
I hate it when people tell me that I'm spoiling my baby by holding her all the time. My mother is especially bad at it, but I really love when random people in the store and on the street tell me that.

I just look down at their baby who's strapped into an expensive stroller with a vibrating heat pad, a million dangling toys, a music box, a sun shade, and a bottle prop and think to myself:

"Ooookay. MY kid has no toys, just me to interact with. YOU on the other hand run out and buy every single expensive thing you can find to keep the child happy and entertained - and MY baby is the one that's spoiled?"







:

Well, at least it shows that they know that time interacting with mom is more valuable than all the expensive toys. Be nice if they could take that understanding one step further, of course.


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## yasinsmama

I was talking to a good friend of mine who does not BF. I was telling her about how I ned to buy a nursing cover, after DS was very upset in the mall one day, so I was trying to nurse him. I was in the food court, and my niece was trying to hold the blanket to cover me, but he was just thashing around, and didn't want to nurse. It was a clumsy effort, b/c I had never tried that (I can't just pull my boob out, hence the nusing cover).
She says:
"Well you don't want any freaks who get off on that type of stuff looking at you bf'ing" (I can kind of understand that one). But then she said "Then you have the other freaks who stare at you like, awww, what a beautiful thing". I was like, umm, I am one of those freaks!
This is the friend who says "are you STILL bf'ing". I think she figured I should have quit a long time ago when I was in a ridiculous amount of pain with mastitis, thrush, etc.


----------



## yasinsmama

Forgot this one:
When DS is really fussy, I always offer the breast first. Sometimes he takes it, sometimes not. When he won't nurse, but I keep trying b/c I know he's hungry, my mom always asks "you didn;t bring a bottle of milk with you?".
Umm, no, why would I do that when I have boobs full of milk?
I just look at her with no expression on my face and say "no".


----------



## CowsRock

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kluella* 
Mine does. We supplement a little as needed and when that formula lid comes off, Wyatt is at my feet waiting. He will jump up on the counter and lick up any powder that I drop on it. After DH made a bottle and left the scoop on the counter, I found it licked clean and hidden in one of my shoes (where the cat likes to keep his things).

He can't get enough of the stuff. When I'm nursing DS he's nowhere to be found, but if someone's giving him a bottle you can bet that the cat is on that person's lap, trying to shove the baby out of the way.

That is too funny!


----------



## bvnms

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LiLStar* 
once, out of curiousity, i expressed a little bit of milk into a bowl and offered it to the cats. They absolutely would not touch it.


We had a cat who had 2 kittens once and she refused to take care of them so I tried to give them some of my breast milk and they would have nothing to do with it. I've had cats that would sit in the stroller that we had but only when the baby wasn't in it.

One of my brother's and his girlfriend are having a baby in December. They have some odd ideas about how things are going to work out. She is 16 and he is 21. She did finally say she's going to try breastfeeding but I imagine that she won't do it for long. Also, when I showed her the sling that I made she said "I have to get a stroller because I'm not going to carry my baby around all the time and make it spoiled."

Victoria has gotten into this habit of telling on everyone which all my kids have done and I usually just ignore it. I know that she'll grow out of it and it's not a big deal. So, my brother's girlfriend says " When we were growing up we got punished when we tattled." I told her that was fine for her parents but this is the way that I raise my kids.

Beverly had a tantrum one day while we were sitting in the car waiting for my mom to come out of work and she ended up tearing off a piece of the car seat. It was already loose and I knew my mom wasn't going to see it as any big deal because it was already loose. Well, my brother and his girlfriend made a huge deal out of it. My brother told my kids that he was going to ask them all day till someone admitted doing it. Naturally this was scaring my kids because they're not used to anyone treating them that way. I ended up yelling at my brother that the way I raise my kids was none of his business and he didn't know the first thing about raising any kids. We got into a nasty fight about that. His girlfriend tells me later that they were both upset because they didn't see what kind of punishment Beverly got for tearing that piece off the car. I told her "It's my mom's car and she didn't even worry about it, yet you two are just mad because you figure I didn't do enough to punish my child. That's real intelligent."

I don't especially like his girlfriend. We were talking about the new babies and I said I wasn't getting this one circumcised if it's a boy. She had an US done and she says there's no doubt that she's having a boy and she's getting that nasty piece of skin cut off of him. I told her that first off, it's not a necessary surgery and she did understand that our other brother was 100% a girl and then he was born. She will be one of these girls that wants to sue the doctor if she has a girl.

I was so glad when they moved in with her parents though I do feel sorry for their baby but I told my mom if they moved back in here I would move out.


----------



## veganone

Quote:


Originally Posted by *yaseensmommy* 
Forgot this one:
When DS is really fussy, I always offer the breast first. Sometimes he takes it, sometimes not. When he won't nurse, but I keep trying b/c I know he's hungry, my mom always asks "you didn;t bring a bottle of milk with you?".
Umm, no, why would I do that when I have boobs full of milk?
I just look at her with no expression on my face and say "no".


That's funny! I recently went out of town with my parents and DD. They are VERY supportive of my parenting and my dad watches DD one day a week. But, I mentioned that I was not bringing my pump and my dad was totally freaked out! Um, I don't need to pump when I am with DD!


----------



## veganone

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pear-shaped* 
I just heard one this morning that made my blood boil. It's really more about my being an immigrant where I live than about parenting advice, but I have to get it off my chest. MIL was talking to a hairdresser who lives just a couple of doors down from us. The hairdresser told MIL that she could hear my dd crying sometimes and figured that since I'm a foreigner, I must need help with the baby. I guess only people born here know how to be parents.







Sorry rest of the world!

Nice! DH is an immigrant as well and I swear MIL thinks I can't parent because I'm from the US and not South America. Oh, and because I didn't have DD on 3 full "meals" a day at 7 months. And that she's not getting formula, because once they're six months you can't possibly make enough milk for them.







:


----------



## veganone

Quote:


Originally Posted by *angela&avery* 
i have a friend who tells me

#1 my kids are so much EASIER than her one kid bc they have each other to play with... (ok it would have NOTHING to do with how hard I have worked with them for the last 3 years on sibling rivalry and all of the books I have read about sibling rivalry and GD Parenting and how hard I have worked to change my reactions to help lesson the rivalry they had at ages 1 and 3 when I thought I was going to LOSE my MIND.... nothing to do with that...)

#2. my house is always clean bc its small (bull crap, smaller houses have lesser places for things to go ... i still have two kids, and it must have nothing to do with my dedication to having a clean house)

#3.my yard looks nice bc its smaller than hers and not as much upkeep and my floors are clean bc they are tile and bc I see the dirt im motivated to clean them more often!!!! (seriously????







... I know this one isnt parenting but i had to vent)

Um, having just moved from a small house (900 sq. ft.) to a larger house (2100 sq. ft.) in the last few months, I can tell you that a bigger house is MUCH easier to keep clean. I am astonished at how much so. Small houses are WAY harder!!! Especially if you have pets. (Although, would agree on smaller yard being eaiser, but still not maintenance free - it takes WORK either way.)

Same with the concept of "good" kids. I have people tell me how happy/easy/"good" DD is all the time now, but she was one uber high needs baby for months and months. I did not put her down for the first 4 months of her life. Then her caregivers didn't for another 2 months until she could sit independently. Some people have easy babies - great! But some of us have happy kids because we work our butts off!


----------



## cabbitdancer

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ilovebabies* 
I can vouch for the small house looking messier. There is no place for the clutter to go and it clutters so much faster BECAUSE it's small.

Yeah. We live in an apartment, and the lack of places to put things is really frustrating. We've even gone through everything once and donated two car loads of stuff to Goodwill, but there's still too much! I can't figure out where it's all coming from!


----------



## edensmama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
Have you tried saying this to your mom? Or are you still trying to be polite and not tell her you think her parenting was lousy?

Oh yes! We have had this dicussion many a times. It doesn't matter how much I tell her, she'll just be caddy. Ex; If she goes to discipline dd and I have an upset look on my face she will say something along the lines of, "Oh that's right we are a better parent."


----------



## Awaken

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
I hate it when people tell me that I'm spoiling my baby by holding her all the time. My mother is especially bad at it, but I really love when random people in the store and on the street tell me that.

I just look down at their baby who's strapped into an expensive stroller with a vibrating heat pad, a million dangling toys, a music box, a sun shade, and a bottle prop and think to myself:

"Ooookay. MY kid has no toys, just me to interact with. YOU on the other hand run out and buy every single expensive thing you can find to keep the child happy and entertained - and MY baby is the one that's spoiled?"







:


----------



## capagrl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Juliacat* 
People have said to me, "I could never cloth diaper, it's too much work." I'm like, "You can't use a washing machine?" and they're like *blink*

ROFL, I got this one when DS#4 was only a few weeks old from a family friend. Her response was that she'd looked into cloth (yeah, right) and decided the added cost and such wouldn't make it worthwhile.

I always wonder about what this mysterious, obviously expensive "and such" is... I seem to hear it a lot! lol

I could write a novel on the stupid comments I've heard through pregnancy - everything from, "Wow, you're HUGE!" to when I was working and having people come by my desk almost daily saying, "Are you still here?!" (um, no, [email protected], I'm a figment of your imagination - I'm actually laying on a beach in Tahiti right now sucking down Mojitos as my cabana boy fans me with palm fronds!)

I don't get a whole lot of parenting comments, but I have been getting some ODD looks when nursing my 25 month old son. I guess him coming at me squealing, "Ninnnnnny!!" then trying to lift my shirt as he makes sucking noises and wiggles his tongue back and forth :nana: is a little disconcerting for those who do not know my gorgeous little boy is actually a heat seeking ninny monster







:


----------



## shelley4

i have had comments since my babe was 6 DAYS old about her never learning how to walk because i carry her in the sling (mostly on the way to drop the big kids off at school and pick them up again)... and i've been getting them pretty constantly ever since. i mean, come on! 6 *days*??? she's not going to learn how to walk any time soon anyways! and it's not like sticking her in the stroller on the way to school and back is going to encourage walking either!

and they act all shocked that yes, in fact, she did learn how to roll, sit up, crawl, heck, she was *pulling up on furniture* before she was 7 months old! obviously, the sling is not harming her development.

i am trying, ever so hard, to smile and wistfully say "well, gotta hug her while she's young, they grow up so fast.. sigh!" to get people off my back. i sincerely doubt that when they are all grown up and moved out of the house, that i'll sit back and say to myself, "gee, i really wish i didn't hug them so much when they were little!".


----------



## TopHat

My mother told me one. When she was feeding me after my birth, the nurses in the hospital told her that pulling up her shirt to breastfeed was unsanitary.


----------



## LiLStar

what the.. if you dont pull your shirt up to breastfeed, then HOW do you breastfeed? THROUGH your shirt?..confused...


----------



## TopHat

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LiLStar* 
what the.. if you dont pull your shirt up to breastfeed, then HOW do you breastfeed? THROUGH your shirt?..confused...

Maybe they meant for her to pull the neck of the shirt down or to use button up shirts or specifically breastfeeding tops?

Meh. I pull up all the time- don't even own a breastfeeding top!


----------



## njbeachgirl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aurora_skys* 
I think the confusion around our "newfangled" baby carriers is weird too. Didnt all Americans learn about Native Americans and Inuits in school? In like every picture there was a woman with her baby in a papoose. Its on the freaking Sacajawea coin for heavens sake! How can they possibly fail to make the connection that _all_ generations (somewhere, sometime) have carried their babiess?!?










LOL. I get the "wow, I wish they had those when I my kids were babies" from people whose kids are like 5 years old! I'm pretty sure slings have been around since then!


----------



## amberskyfire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TopHat* 
My mother told me one. When she was feeding me after my birth, the nurses in the hospital told her that pulling up her shirt to breastfeed was unsanitary.

Heh, because God forbid we release our belly button cooties into the air for others to catch


----------



## In Exile

The absolute new low for me:

We're out camping and Boy Wonder ist playing, crawling between people. One girl starts giggling:
"Are you going between my legs, are you going between my legs?? Haha." I am already thinking, dude, you make that sound weird.
But it get's better. I remove Boy Wonder and she keeps it coming: Are you going between my legs, aren't you a little too young for that?"

WTF????????????














:





















:






















What the heck makes you say that to a 17 months old toddler???


----------



## capagrl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *In Exile* 
What the heck makes you say that to a 17 months old toddler???

What on EARTH would compel a person to say that?!!! Wow. Just when I thought bathtub water up the butt and belly button cooties were as low as it got (not even going into the neighbor who insists the poster's boy is a girl), you get *this*! How disturbing!! Can i ask how old this girl is or was??


----------



## In Exile

Quote:


Originally Posted by *capagrl* 
What on EARTH would compel a person to say that?!!! Wow. Just when I thought bathtub water up the butt and belly button cooties were as low as it got (not even going into the neighbor who insists the poster's boy is a girl), you get *this*! How disturbing!! Can i ask how old this girl is or was??

I believe she was over thirty....well educated engineer...no children as of yet. I guess she thought that was funny.


----------



## Maeve

Okaaaay.

ew.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TopHat* 
My mother told me one. When she was feeding me after my birth, the nurses in the hospital told her that pulling up her shirt to breastfeed was unsanitary.

??? Pulling up a shirt is unsanitary in a place where they regularly stick people in open backed gowns?


----------



## MadameXCupcake

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CheapPearls* 
Got a sling one.

I had ds#3 in a ring sling and he was sound asleep and a greeter at walmart stopped me on the way in.

Her: "Can I see? ... how old is he?"
Me: "2 weeks." with a big proud mama smile.
Her: "Oh that looks uncomfortable! He's all squished in there!"
Me: "He loves it. He was like that for 9 months. He wouldn't be sleeping if he was uncomfortable."
Her: "Don't you bump him on the cart?"
Me: "No."
She just shook her head and I went about my shopping.

On the way out:
Her: "That can't be comfortable. He still looks all squished."
Me: "He's sleeping. I love it, he loves it." Proud mama smile and I walk away.

I'm glad that I was stopped more for "That is so cool! Where did you get it?/I wish I had one when I had my babies." more then I got bad comments about slings.







I educated a lot of people on babywearing during my grocery trips.









A cashier at home depot did the same thing, but she started poking the sling trying to get my daughter to move.

"She's so squished she can't breathe"

I was like I just got her to sleep, and took a step back. My DH laughed the whole way to the car.


----------



## TeaJunkie

I have a few:

From a *doula* that runs the moms group at the *birth center*: "I think that there are some good things about AP, but the part that gets me is they reccomend BFing for a full year. That just seems unreasonable to expect that of moms."







She also practically jumped on me for starting to say something negative about CIO. We switched to the other doula's moms group.









From MIL when DS was about 3 months old:
MIL: I can watch him so you guys can go see a movie.
DH: No, we can't really do that because we never know when he's going to be hungry. (And I have no desire to leave him in anyone else's care!)
MIL: Well you HAVE to put him on a schedule!
DH: Just so you know, if DW heard you say that on a bad day, she would have jumped down your throat.
MIL: _Silence..._

MIL: I just think he would sleep so much better if he were in his own room.
DH: No, he wouldn't. (







)
MIL: Well at least you guys would. (Yes, because we place our sleep needs above our child's comfort and security).









Not about parenting, but we got this from DS's pediatrician when we asked about spacing out his vax:
Pedi: "I'm fine with that, but just so you're aware, that means more rides in the car and therefore more potential that he'll be in a car accident."







: Uh, so by that reasoning we shouldn't see the dr or do any vax at all, let alone leave the house!


----------



## luv

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TeaJunkie* 
Not about parenting, but we got this from DS's pediatrician when we asked about spacing out his vax:
Pedi: "I'm fine with that, but just so you're aware, that means more rides in the car and therefore more potential that he'll be in a car accident."







: Uh, so by that reasoning we shouldn't see the dr or do any vax at all, let alone leave the house!

I just read this to my hubby. His reply "Hey well SOME docs have to graduate at the BOTTOM of their class!"

-luv


----------



## MCatLvrMom2A&X

Quote:

Not about parenting, but we got this from DS's pediatrician when we asked about spacing out his vax:
Pedi: "I'm fine with that, but just so you're aware, that means more rides in the car and therefore more potential that he'll be in a car accident."







: Uh, so by that reasoning we shouldn't see the dr or do any vax at all, let alone leave the house!








that.is.priceless.


----------



## capagrl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TeaJunkie* 
Not about parenting, but we got this from DS's pediatrician when we asked about spacing out his vax:
Pedi: "I'm fine with that, but just so you're aware, that means more rides in the car and therefore more potential that he'll be in a car accident."







: Uh, so by that reasoning we shouldn't see the dr or do any vax at all, let alone leave the house!

I have no idea - should I laugh or should I cry?! Man, oh man, someone find me a better adjective than "ridiculous" b/c I am at a total loss for words on that!


----------



## IceyTheBatmom

I got a good one yesterday. DS is 10 1/2 months old, 8 teeth, and can walk 10 feet if not distracted. I was at a party, and gave him a piece of celery off a veggie tray.

He was sitting on the floor next to me, grinning at everyone with a great big "Yum!" smile, with it crammed in his mouth, like a puppy with a bone, and this woman I had just met walks over, very concerned, and asks me "Is he chewing well enough yet to _have_ that?"

I paused. In my head: "Well, we're about to find out. Anyone know CPR?" "Nope. My PPD returned just a second ago.*" "Don't worry, I stuck a wire grate in the back of his mouth before we left the house, so he can't choke."










But, as I had just met her, I simply reassured her that he does just fine with fresh veggies, and we encourage him to self feed anything firm enough for him to pick up.

Later, same person, "Wow, he's being really good for a diaper change!" ...Duh, he wants the pee off!

*I know most people will say it's not funny to joke about, but I had it really, really bad, and joking about it helps me. Sorry if that line offends anyone.


----------



## Harmony96

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CheapPearls* 
Got a sling one.

I had ds#3 in a ring sling and he was sound asleep and a greeter at walmart stopped me on the way in.

Her: "Can I see? ... how old is he?"
Me: "2 weeks." with a big proud mama smile.
Her: "Oh that looks uncomfortable! He's all squished in there!"
Me: "He loves it. He was like that for 9 months. He wouldn't be sleeping if he was uncomfortable."
Her: "Don't you bump him on the cart?"
Me: "No."
She just shook her head and I went about my shopping.

On the way out:
Her: "That can't be comfortable. He still looks all squished."
Me: "He's sleeping. I love it, he loves it." Proud mama smile and I walk away.

I'm glad that I was stopped more for "That is so cool! Where did you get it?/I wish I had one when I had my babies." more then I got bad comments about slings.







I educated a lot of people on babywearing during my grocery trips.










I don't know if I've ever done it w/ a shopping cart... but I have bumped DD's head more than once on various things while wearing her.







s


----------



## elisent

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Harmony96* 
I don't know if I've ever done it w/ a shopping cart... but I have bumped DD's head more than once on various things while wearing her.







s

I wear DS on my back in the ergo around the house. I'm always knocking his feet into doorframes because they stick out from my sides. And once, I swung open the freezer door and it went over my shoulder and hit him smack in the head.


----------



## St. Margaret

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TeaJunkie* 
I have a few:

From a *doula* that runs the moms group at the *birth center*: "I think that there are some good things about AP, but the part that gets me is they reccomend BFing for a full year. That just seems unreasonable to expect that of moms."







She also practically jumped on me for starting to say something negative about CIO. We switched to the other doula's moms group.









From MIL when DS was about 3 months old:
MIL: I can watch him so you guys can go see a movie.
DH: No, we can't really do that because we never know when he's going to be hungry. (And I have no desire to leave him in anyone else's care!)
MIL: Well you HAVE to put him on a schedule!
DH: Just so you know, if DW heard you say that on a bad day, she would have jumped down your throat.
MIL: _Silence..._

MIL: I just think he would sleep so much better if he were in his own room.
DH: No, he wouldn't. (







)
MIL: Well at least you guys would. (Yes, because we place our sleep needs above our child's comfort and security).









Not about parenting, but we got this from DS's pediatrician when we asked about spacing out his vax:
Pedi: "I'm fine with that, but just so you're aware, that means more rides in the car and therefore more potential that he'll be in a car accident."







: Uh, so by that reasoning we shouldn't see the dr or do any vax at all, let alone leave the house!









: for your awesome, supportive hubby!

And regarding the ped: Wasn't there some other comment about someone assuming a mom never left the house b/c she hadn't been away from the baby? Does all this indicate that some people seriously think babies never leave the house??? Weird!

I got some terrible comments from MY doctor, who was making up different percentages about how much of the medicine DD would get (I was there for a much needed strep test--luckily I was neg so I didn't have to take atbx), like saying 10% first, then 50%, just throwing out whatever he felt like saying b/c obviously he knew nothing about BFing. He was of course shocked that my BFing baby was 14mo and that we nursed an unknown number of times a day, and tried telling me to just take the meds after nursing her in the evening and just not nursing her at night







Buddy, if it were that simple, I'd get 8 hours a night, right??? And then he talked about how most babies are weaned at a year, and I got to say NO, MOST babies nurse until about 3 to 5 years! And then he said you have to watch out when they get teeth, because, they will, and I quote, "bite bite you." Yeah, "bite bite"







I feel like telling that guy I am fully educated woman with nearly as much schooling as he, not actually a 14mo. Actually, I told him DD HAS 6 teeth and has never bitten me. And he wasn't going to change my mind b/c I knew it was the best thing for her. And he asked me if it was for ME or her







I really wanted to ask him if HE had lactating breasts. No? Well, golly, I DO! So maybe I know a lil bit more about it than him!!!

Moron! I have new insurance and will never go there again


----------



## Bkwyrm

Well, you know the old joke....
Q: What do you call a guy who graduated last in his class in medical school?
A: Doctor.

Sounds like you guys had bottom-of-the-class doctors, all right!


----------



## deadheadmomma

St. Margaret, I'm jealous, my 13mo DS BITE BITES







me all the time, usually because he's getting a new tooth (10 so far and he's got a new bruised gum spot so a new one soon). His last two were molars and aren't all the way thru yet so sometimes he would like to chew the tittie







:. But I don't care, I'm still nursing the little guy, and yes it is for HIM, if it was for me I would have stopped at the first tooth







.

But I will miss nursing him when he stops, even with the biting, nursing is wonderful







:


----------



## ohboymelissa

Ok...So I'm only 20 years old, so I get A LOT of strangers and ALL of my boyfriend's family hassling me about attachment parenting. My mom, husband and my friends are the only people who agree with me.

GIL: I think the baby pooped.
ME: Oh my, it's going to be a big one since he hasn't pooped in 3 days.
GIL: WHAT?!!?!?! You need to call the pediatrician, something is wrong!
ME: ::explanation of breastfed babies and digestion::
GIL: Where did you hear that crap? I have never heard of such a thing, and I had SIX (formula fed) babies.
ME: Ok...

SIL: You know your boobs will be saggy for the rest of your life if you don't stop BF'ing now.
ME: Oh, goody!

We recently took a family hell...I mean vacation for a week.

MIL to lifeguard at pool: SHE hasn't even started him on solids!
LG: What?!? You know, kids these days are just so lazy...
ME: I know, damn those kids and their parenting skills...

Which led to this:
I was in the shower and asked my SIL to watch the baby (big mistake).
I get out of the shower 10 minutes later and find my 4 month old's face covered in cake frosting, baked beans, french onion dip, cheeze whiz and coffee. The rest of the week he spit up, which he never does, and had diarrhea. They blamed all of that on teething.

Oh man, I'm mad just thinking about all of this. I have SO many more stories.


----------



## Mommy2Austin

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ohboymelissa* 
*snip*
Which led to this:
I was in the shower and asked my SIL to watch the baby (big mistake).
I get out of the shower 10 minutes later and find my 4 month old's face covered in cake frosting, baked beans, french onion dip, cheeze whiz and coffee. The rest of the week he spit up, which he never does, and had diarrhea. They blamed all of that on teething.

Oh man, I'm mad just thinking about all of this. I have SO many more stories.

SIL would never see my son again. I would still be livid had it been cereal or baby food, but at least thats more healthful than the crap she gave him. This is why I'm glad I've written off my sisters because if they even thought about doing something like that I'm not sure what I would have done! SS for you and the litte one, momma!


----------



## ramlita

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ohboymelissa* 
I was in the shower and asked my SIL to watch the baby (big mistake).
I get out of the shower 10 minutes later and find my 4 month old's face covered in cake frosting, baked beans, french onion dip, cheeze whiz and coffee. The rest of the week he spit up, which he never does, and had diarrhea. They blamed all of that on teething.

Oh man, I'm mad just thinking about all of this. I have SO many more stories.

















That's not even a casual, "he wanted what I was eating," that's a deliberate "eat up quick before she gets back!"









Glad to hear that the people closest to you are on board!


----------



## CheapPearls

Quote:


Originally Posted by *elisent* 
I wear DS on my back in the ergo around the house. I'm always knocking his feet into doorframes because they stick out from my sides. And once, I swung open the freezer door and it went over my shoulder and hit him smack in the head.

Yeah, I've done some baby bumping while wearing him. Door frames are my enemy.


----------



## CheapPearls

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ohboymelissa* 
We recently took a family hell...I mean vacation for a week.

MIL to lifeguard at pool: SHE hasn't even started him on solids!
LG: What?!? You know, kids these days are just so lazy...
ME: I know, damn those kids and their parenting skills...

Which led to this:
I was in the shower and asked my SIL to watch the baby (big mistake).
I get out of the shower 10 minutes later and find my 4 month old's face covered in cake frosting, baked beans, french onion dip, cheeze whiz and coffee. The rest of the week he spit up, which he never does, and had diarrhea. They blamed all of that on teething.

Oh man, I'm mad just thinking about all of this. I have SO many more stories.

Why was she talking to a strange life guard about your parenting?









With the food, HECK NO! I would never allow them to be with my baby alone if they pulled that. That's so awful. Poor little guy.


----------



## puddle

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ohboymelissa* 
I was in the shower and asked my SIL to watch the baby (big mistake).
I get out of the shower 10 minutes later and find my 4 month old's face covered in cake frosting, baked beans, french onion dip, cheeze whiz and coffee. The rest of the week he spit up, which he never does, and had diarrhea. They blamed all of that on teething.

I wonder what SIL would do if you threatened to sneak her kids breastmilk without her permission. Maybe then she would get it.


----------



## Smokering

Quote:

Not about parenting, but we got this from DS's pediatrician when we asked about spacing out his vax:
Pedi: "I'm fine with that, but just so you're aware, that means more rides in the car and therefore more potential that he'll be in a car accident." Uh, so by that reasoning we shouldn't see the dr or do any vax at all, let alone leave the house!
That is the funniest thing I've read in a long time. Grasping at straws, anyone?


----------



## Lady Lilya

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CheapPearls* 
Yeah, I've done some baby bumping while wearing him. Door frames are my enemy.

Yeah, but I do that all the time while just carrying him. So does wearing him really increase the bumpage?


----------



## Hippie Mama in MI

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 







: "Ex-cuse me!? That "thing" is MY baby." Then walk away. Bonus points for making them explain for 5+ minutes that they meant the carrier, but you have to keep a straight face.

The classic retort, "Well, I'm the mom, so your opinion really isn't worth anything, but thanks for thinking of me. Want some bean dip?"

Look mom, I'm sorry you feel left out, but I'm not about to offer you the other side."


sapphire chan, I just. plain. adore. you.

Your posts always make me ROFLMAO. Just had to say so.


----------



## fate_loves_flower

Oh so many moments to recall, but this is the one that left me dumbfounded...

A friend's Nana (who drives me crazy at the best of times), started into me (when I was 8 1/2 mos preg, way to poke the bear!) about homebirth. I was trying to explain the saftey, how midwives are now covered by the government (terms she'd understand), and that many of them go to school for a VERY long time. Her response...
"why wouldn't they just become doctors, then!?"

I tried to continue the conversation CALMLY! Next statement...

"In my day you just went to the hospital and did what you were told. You girls just know too much now, it's ridiculous."


----------



## MCatLvrMom2A&X

I have heard nearly the same wording from my mom. Enough to make you wanna tear your (or their) hair out.


----------



## ilovebabies

Quote:


Originally Posted by *fate_loves_flower* 
"In my day you just went to the hospital and did what you were told. You girls just know too much now, it's ridiculous."









: And thank God we are educated now since it's OUR bodies and OUR babies! Who knows how many deaths and injuries have been prevented because we're now informed??!! Gah!!!







:


----------



## That Is Nice

Quote:


Originally Posted by *beachmommy5* 
Comming out of lurkdom to say my mil is the same way, this is "her" grandbaby and she is so excited about "her" litle girl comming blah blah blah, she was the same way with ds and it drives me nuts! She actually went so far last pregnancy as to thank me for taking pre-natal vitamins and growing "her" such a healthy baby. Give me a break.

Oh, I don't know. I guess there are definite boundaries everyone needs to define and respect. But, I think that's kind of sweet that she reminded you about pre-natal vitamins (not that you needed the reminder). It shows she cared.

Believe me, I'd take that over the rude and obnoxious comments that I've heard from my mother and the absence of a grandmother role because she is unable to be a grandmother in any sense.


----------



## In Exile

Quote:


Originally Posted by *That Is Nice* 
Oh, I don't know. I guess there are definite boundaries everyone needs to define and respect. But, I think that's kind of sweet that she reminded you about pre-natal vitamins (not that you needed the reminder). It shows she cared.

Believe me, I'd take that over the rude and obnoxious comments that I've heard from my mother and the absence of a grandmother role because she is unable to be a grandmother in any sense.

Well, on the other spectrum it's not that nice when you "failed to grow a healthy baby for grandma"- my 38 weeker was only 5 pounds 13 ounces and had to be hospitalized- just wait for the "what did YOU do?????" Yeah, I'm a pescetarian, that's right, the fact that I didn't stuff myself with meat being pregnant robbed my dear child of nutrients.

Trust me, the "you're growing a baby for me" stuff can be veru UNfunny.


----------



## Aeress

Luaghing and also wanting to jump up and down mad for what people say.

The only thing I get is, "isn't she squished in there?"
Me- "Well, she is smiling and happy, so, umm, no."


----------



## yasinsmama

Last year, I had a miscarriage. My MIL NEVER, to this day, called me to say i'm sorry, how are you, etc. She then came for a visit a few months after that. The first mention of the miscarriage was "What did you do? Did you lift something heavy at work? Miscarriages don't just happen"

I think I gave her the look of death. I was coming to terms with the fact that I lost our first baby, and she went and said that.


----------



## That Is Nice

Some people aren't very good at dealing with grief, or sorrow, or sadness. And a lot of times they are really talking about issues in their own lives.









It doesn't make it any easier to hear.

But at least she came to visit, and is a presence in your lives. That is worth something.

At some point, though, you hope people will have kind and supportive words as well as being present.


----------



## yasinsmama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *That Is Nice* 









Some people aren't very good at dealing with grief, or sorrow, or sadness. And a lot of times they are really talking about issues in their own lives.









It doesn't make it any easier to hear.

But at least she came to visit, and is a presence in your lives. That is worth something.

At some point, though, you hope people will have kind and supportive words as well as being present.

Oh, she didn't come for a visit b/c of me. She came to see her son. And she is s presence in our lives, but a very annoying presence. We don't have much of a relationship, so that's why I didn't let it upset me too much. I don't take too much stock in anything she says b/c she doesn't really know "how to talk".

But no matter who it's from, it's hard to hear that stuff when you are already trying to figure out "was it my fault".


----------



## shelley4

Quote:


Originally Posted by *yaseensmommy* 
Last year, I had a miscarriage..


I'm so sorry for you loss, momma.


----------



## veganone

Quote:


Originally Posted by *yaseensmommy* 
Last year, I had a miscarriage. My MIL NEVER, to this day, called me to say i'm sorry, how are you, etc. She then came for a visit a few months after that. The first mention of the miscarriage was "What did you do? Did you lift something heavy at work? Miscarriages don't just happen"

I think I gave her the look of death. I was coming to terms with the fact that I lost our first baby, and she went and said that.

Wow - that's unimaginably horrible. I'm so sorry, and I'm so sorry for your loss...

I love it when people ask me what I did to cause the PROM and made DD come early. Um, thanks for making it my fault. The last was my mom, who asked if I'd eat more protein if I get pregnant again so that I don't have PROM again.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *fate_loves_flower* 
"In my day you just went to the hospital and did what you were told. You girls just know too much now, it's ridiculous."

"Well we certainly know more than you. You do know that ignorance isn't a virtue, right? Would you care for more tea, maybe a cookie?"


----------



## milkybean

Quote:


Originally Posted by *njbeachgirl* 
LOL. I get the "wow, I wish they had those when I my kids were babies" from people whose kids are like 5 years old! I'm pretty sure slings have been around since then!











I have a picture of infant-me being worn by my mom. Facing her, on her front, in something that looks like if a Bjorn and Ergo had a baby. That was in 1969.

They've had 'em.


----------



## RoseDuperre

^ Was it a "Snugli"? My parents had one of those.


----------



## amberskyfire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *milkybean* 









I have a picture of infant-me being worn by my mom. Facing her, on her front, in something that looks like if a Bjorn and Ergo had a baby. That was in 1969.

They've had 'em.









I have a photo of my mother holding me in a sling in the front African-style. It's just a plain sarong wrapped around over one shoulder - the simplest type. She carried me that way as a baby when we lived in Singapore.

Now my mom thinks I'm crazy that I carry my baby around like that all the time. She thinks I'm weird because I don't have a stroller. I remember I once mentioned to her that she used to carry me like that and she said "it was in Indonesia! I didn't have a choice - they didn't HAVE strollers!"


----------



## Maggirayne

Quote:


Originally Posted by *deadheadmomma* 
St. Margaret, I'm jealous, my 13mo DS BITE BITES







me all the time, usually because he's getting a new tooth (10 so far and he's got a new bruised gum spot so a new one soon). His last two were molars and aren't all the way thru yet so sometimes he would like to chew the tittie







:. But I don't care, I'm still nursing the little guy, and yes it is for HIM, if it was for me I would have stopped at the first tooth







.

But I will miss nursing him when he stops, even with the biting, nursing is wonderful







:









:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *St. Margaret* 
And then he talked about how most babies are weaned at a year, and I got to say NO, MOST babies nurse until about 3 to 5 years! And then he said you have to watch out when they get teeth, because, they will, and I quote, "bite bite you." Yeah, "bite bite"







I feel like telling that guy I am fully educated woman with nearly as much schooling as he, not actually a 14mo. Actually, I told him DD HAS 6 teeth and has never bitten me. And he wasn't going to change my mind b/c I knew it was the best thing for her. And he asked me if it was for ME or her







I really wanted to ask him if HE had lactating breasts. No? Well, golly, I DO! So maybe I know a lil bit more about it than him!!!

Moron! I have new insurance and will never go there again









What a wealth of knowledge he was.
Never bitten you, how lucky is that!? I wish. My 15 mo DD has just started biting again. When she teethes, or something, I'm not always sure.

Oh and yes, I nurse for me, it's soo she goes to sleep magically in like 5 minutes. And I don't have to listen to a baby screaming in the other room and so I never have to get out of bed unless I have to pee. You bet nursing is all about me! 

Heh, this is our first, so DH has had it soooo easy, I change dipes since I'm awake and can sleep in when he goes to work, but I broke my arm a month ago. I could not change diapers, and it was hard getting her positioned, so I'd wake him up to help me. "Ohhhhh, (groan), I wasn't made to wake up in the middle of the night!" Umm, who's been waking multiple times ev.er.ry night for 14 months with your baby? He did take over dishes, which I abhor, so I saw more of the humour, but it was funny. I did tell hi, "Yk, when we have two kids, you got night duty w/#1!"


----------



## llamalluv

Quote:


Originally Posted by *IceyTheBatmom* 

Later, same person, "Wow, he's being really good for a diaper change!" ...Duh, he wants the pee off!



I know someone who leaves a diaper on her kid for up to 6 hours, or sometimes longer. Basically, until it is either poopy, or COMPLETELY soaked. "Because those gel beads hold everything in, so even if it is wet, it can still hold more."









Then she laughed about how many diapers her mother goes through when she babysits. I just said, "Oh, I'm used to changing diapers when they are soiled." Went right over her head. (And of course, her daughter had a rash when she was changing her later....)







:


----------



## deadheadmomma

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maggirayne* 







:

What a wealth of knowledge he was.
Never bitten you, how lucky is that!? I wish. My 15 mo DD has just started biting again. When she teethes, or something, I'm not always sure.

Oh and yes, I nurse for me, it's soo she goes to sleep magically in like 5 minutes. And I don't have to listen to a baby screaming in the other room and so I never have to get out of bed unless I have to pee. You bet nursing is all about me! 

Heh, this is our first, so DH has had it soooo easy, I change dipes since I'm awake and can sleep in when he goes to work, but I broke my arm a month ago. I could not change diapers, and it was hard getting her positioned, so I'd wake him up to help me. "Ohhhhh, (groan), I wasn't made to wake up in the middle of the night!" Umm, who's been waking multiple times ev.er.ry night for 14 months with your baby? He did take over dishes, which I abhor, so I saw more of the humour, but it was funny. I did tell hi, "Yk, when we have two kids, you got night duty w/#1!"

Ok, I admit it, nursing is for me too







. I also love not having my baby screaming, easy time with naps and bedtimes and not havng to get out of bed for night feedings! Not to mention how easy it is to soothe him when he bumps his head or loses the non-edible treasure he was eating (mommy is soo mean sometimes). My DH also doesn't know how good he has it! I'm not sure he could handle the night time parenting, fortunately we haven't had to find out. Hope your arm gets better, that sucks.


----------



## Lady Lilya

Nursing is definitely NOT for me. It is a torture. Yet still I want him to do it as long as possible. I am not pleased that he is spacing his feedings out during the day to about every 6 hours now. At least at night he still nurses every 1-2 hours. I don't get much sleep, but I would still rather him nurse. I don't blame him for preferring solids. Nursing hasn't been fun for him either.


----------



## Maggirayne

Quote:


Originally Posted by *deadheadmomma* 
Hope your arm gets better, that sucks.

Thank you. It is. I had to have surgery and a plate and 8 screws in, broke the top of the humerus off, not fun at all, but just this week, it's quit dully aching all .the.time.







:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lady Lilya* 
Nursing is definitely NOT for me. It is a torture. Yet still I want him to do it as long as possible. I am not pleased that he is spacing his feedings out during the day to about every 6 hours now. At least at night he still nurses every 1-2 hours. I don't get much sleep, but I would still rather him nurse. I don't blame him for preferring solids. Nursing hasn't been fun for him either.









Well, you are a mama who can look at people like that doctor and clearly say, "It's absolutely what's best for him, and I am doing it for him."
I am sorry is it hard for you, I am glad for you and for him that you are sticking to it even tho' it's hard. Babies need mamas like that who don't give up when it's hard.


----------



## Breeder

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyJoia* 
not stress, but over stimulation _can_ cause it. I know when I really get my DD laughing when she should be winding down, she gets them... I wouldn't exactly cause it stress.

Actually the hiccups come from your DD laughing not overstimulation. When you laugh really hard you gulp air, swallowing too much air is a cause of hiccups.

My DS1 is six years old and to this day will get the hiccups if he laughs too hard...good thing he's old enough now to take ten sips of water to get rid of them


----------



## Breeder

My mom at my DS1's 1st Xmas: You're going to spoil him, you hold him too much.

Me: *blink, staring at pile of gifts* This from the woman who purchased twenty presents for a five month old?

Thankfully, she cracked up at this. My mom is crazy, but at least she could see that what she said was ridiculous.

I love this thread.







:


----------



## sparklefairy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyJoia* 
My MIL refers to my kids as "my baby" like when she calls she says "where is my baby" and then when I asked her what she wanted them to call her she said, "mom... you can be mommy and I can be mom" I was like, "Ummm no, I'm their mom, mommy,mother, mama... you're the grandmother"

























There are infant care classes for new parents. There are sibling classes for new big sibs. There really should be something to prepare new grandparents.

For those of you who have had things like this happen, were there boundary issues before you were pregnant or does grannylust do this too? (My mom definitely had boundary issues before, but I didn't realize it until I had kids and she refused to respect me as an adult and mother.)

Her issue was having the same "name" as her MIL -- she didn't want them both to be Grandma, but she wouldn't make up her mind about what she wanted to be called, so she's just Grandma. Like everything else with her, we were supposed to read her mind and do exactly what she was imagining she wanted done.

Now that I have older kids, I'm still surprised by the few people I know who also have older kids who attribute every desirable quality in their children to their excellent parenting and every undesirable quality to something the cruel world has inflicted upon them. (Oh and other people's kids? Definitely something their rotten parents screwed up on.) Don't know a lot of these, but it does crop up from time to time.


----------



## sparklefairy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jessica_lizette* 
Whenever I'm pissed off at my hubby I hold my poop for like three days to get back at him. Works like a charm.

...WTH does not pooping have to do with revenge?

Well, not revenge exactly, but I do think that when adults are controlling and pushy or possessive* about "potty training" that children may react by taking what control they can over their own bodies.

*By which I mean they see their child's transition to using the potty as an accomplishment of their own, something that they did to or for the child. "I had you out of diapers by the time you were two" sort of approach.


----------



## kmb9906

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sparklefairy* 
Her issue was having the same "name" as her MIL -- she didn't want them both to be Grandma, but she wouldn't make up her mind about what she wanted to be called, so she's just Grandma. Like everything else with her, we were supposed to read her mind and do exactly what she was imagining she wanted done.

This is how my mom was. She did not want to be Grandma because that's what MIL is. When I asked what she wanted to be called, she could never give me an answer. So, she's called Grandma ... and she calls herself grandma to DD. My mom drives me nuts sometimes.


----------



## Maggirayne

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sparklefairy* 
There are infant care classes for new parents. There are sibling classes for new big sibs. There really should be something to prepare new grandparents.

For those of you who have had things like this happen, were there boundary issues before you were pregnant or does grannylust do this too? (My mom definitely had boundary issues before, but I didn't realize it until I had kids and she refused to respect me as an adult and mother.)

Her issue was having the same "name" as her MIL -- she didn't want them both to be Grandma, but she wouldn't make up her mind about what she wanted to be called, so she's just Grandma. Like everything else with her, we were supposed to read her mind and do exactly what she was imagining she wanted done.

My mom doesn't like being call Grandma (last name) because that's her MIL. She and I do have some (minor compared to these) issue, but she didn't fuss at me very much for my different parenting style when she stayed for 3 weeks(!). We had talked a lot on the phone, and she was aware of how I was doing things differently.

She still thinks spanking is okay. And said, "If your child looks at me and willfully does whatever I say not to, they're gonna get a swat."
To which I said(again), "If you have any intentions of spanking my children, I will not leave them with you at all."
"Oh, I wasn't intending to spank."
"What?! You just said so." Sigh.
"Well, if you come and let your kid tear up my house. . ." (because I had let my 1 yo unfold and empty the pfs I'd folded. Yes it was work I'd done, but she was happily playing by herself when we were doing something else.) I think my mom thinks my child will be a terror because I don't spank.

As for the grandparenting class, I did get her a copy of Sheila Kitzinger's _Becoming a Grandmother_. I think it's good.


----------



## veganone

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maggirayne* 

She still thinks spanking is okay. And said, "If your child looks at me and willfully does whatever I say not to, they're gonna get a swat."
To which I said(again), "If you have any intentions of spanking my children, I will not leave them with you at all."
"Oh, I wasn't intending to spank."
"What?! You just said so." Sigh.
"Well, if you come and let your kid tear up my house. . ." (because I had let my 1 yo unfold and empty the pfs I'd folded. Yes it was work I'd done, but she was happily playing by herself when we were doing something else.) I think my mom thinks my child will be a terror because I don't spank.


Wow - that sucks. My parents (who are great, but have had their share of stupid comments) laughed hysterically when I showed them video of DD after I found her at the end of unfolding a huge amount of laundry I'd just folded, complete with a pair of my underwear around her neck. She was SO proud of herself, and I just told her what a good job she did unfolding everything...








:

Good for you for not caring!


----------



## St. Margaret

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maggirayne* 







:

What a wealth of knowledge he was.
Never bitten you, how lucky is that!? I wish. My 15 mo DD has just started biting again. When she teethes, or something, I'm not always sure.

Oh and yes, I nurse for me, it's soo she goes to sleep magically in like 5 minutes. And I don't have to listen to a baby screaming in the other room and so I never have to get out of bed unless I have to pee. You bet nursing is all about me! 

Heh, this is our first, so DH has had it soooo easy, I change dipes since I'm awake and can sleep in when he goes to work, but I broke my arm a month ago. I could not change diapers, and it was hard getting her positioned, so I'd wake him up to help me. "Ohhhhh, (groan), I wasn't made to wake up in the middle of the night!" Umm, who's been waking multiple times ev.er.ry night for 14 months with your baby? He did take over dishes, which I abhor, so I saw more of the humour, but it was funny. I did tell hi, "Yk, when we have two kids, you got night duty w/#1!"

I know that babies certainly do bite, and DD has come close a few times, but nothing that left a lasting hurt, more than a twinge on my part for a sec, yk? But I thought it was hilarious how he assumed ALL babies bite a lot, and how he said "bite bite" too. Hrrrm. Ok then!







Seriously, every time I've walked in there, I feel like they are looking down on me, like they think I am uneducated, a nobody... I only went there to get referred to the best best best OB/GYN ever, and now we have new insurance and I am DONE with them!

That's true-- I nurse DD so I have fewer illnesses to care for her through, fewer nights of having to walk her to sleep or whatever it is people do when their non-nursing babes nightwake...


----------



## melmcwhorter

My SIL sent us some darling organic clothes for our little boy right after he was born. One of these pieces is an adorable pair of what I guess would be called bloomers or pantaloons that come to his knees. Precious. They are a bright orange color & coordinated with a little carrots t-shirt. Anyway, we love them.

My MIL, only several minutes into her first visit to see us after Arlo was born, said, referring to the orange bloomers, "well, you can't keep dressing him in THOSE unless you want him to turn out gay". I nearly fell on the floor. I was so offended that I literally didn't know what to say.

We're quite liberal, and she's quite "conservative", so I'm not surprised I guess. Just seems so ignorant (as if clothes make someone gay) & mean-spirited (I mean, would she not love her grandson if he did "turn out" gay???).

End of rant, but a memory I'll never forget.


----------



## lovemybubus

A friend of mine came over just after my first child was about 4-5 months old. I think I had mild PPD and was feeling really alone so welcomed the company with open arms. When she got there I was holding DD and my friend says, "You need to put her down once in a while so you can at least take a sh!t!" It was so unbelievably stupid and mean, at the time I was very fragile and it sent me into a downward spiral of questioning my choices. As I said, she was my first, my mom died when I was really young, so I thought OMG, I am just screwing everything up. Man, that was a crappy thing for her to do. Ironic part is she's pregnant now, I am a lot more confident in my AP choices, and she sees how great my children are, she says things like, "You are the first person I have ever seen that really listens to your kids and values what they have to say." I tell her it all starts in the beginning, you need to be bonded and attached to your baby and the best way to do that is co-sleep, bf, etc..we'll see. TIA for listening...I guess that comment really bothered me, lol!


----------



## Onemagicmummy

that coment reminded me that with DD2 there have been times when i have had to goto the loo with a sleeping babe on my back/in a wrap or jsut in my arms as i jsut could not put her down for a moment, either because she was sleeping, cranky, of her big brother would not leave her alone.
not something i would ever of thought i would of done, and she is my 4th and the first i have done that with.


----------



## frontierpsych

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LiLStar* 
once, out of curiousity, i expressed a little bit of milk into a bowl and offered it to the cats. They absolutely would not touch it.

I pumped a little bit just to maintain supply after my first pregnancy (I was planning to donate) and sometimes gave it to my dog, she loved it, lol!

Oh, and it's not bad in cocoa pebbles either!







Free milk is free milk!


----------



## frontierpsych

Quote:


Originally Posted by *In Exile* 
Well, on the other spectrum it's not that nice when you "failed to grow a healthy baby for grandma"- my 38 weeker was only 5 pounds 13 ounces and had to be hospitalized- just wait for the "what did YOU do?????" Yeah, I'm a pescetarian, that's right, the fact that I didn't stuff myself with meat being pregnant robbed my dear child of nutrients.

Trust me, the "you're growing a baby for me" stuff can be veru UNfunny.

Ha, I got told my first pregnancy how tiny my baby would be due to my being a vegetarian...

my "tiny" baby was 10 lbs.


----------



## nolonger

: lovemybubus

Yea, a clueless childless friend recently told me that my "problem" with ds not liking carseats was because i "hold him too much. just put him down and let him cry every day so he gets used to it."

Parenthood V2.0 is reminding me of just how vulnerable newborn mothers are; baby noises bring back memories of some of the things people said to me when my dds and ds1 were this age and even though i can see just how ridiculous they are (my ex during a colicky night with a 6-week-old:" of COURSE she's crying! she heard you say you weren't going to take her to McDonalds! All kids love McDonalds! What did you have a kid for if you didn't want to take her to McDonalds? I have to go to work in the morning so you'd better stop making the baby cry!") but i still remember how much they hurt and made me doubt myself.

This thread is wonderful for taking the venom out of nasty idiotic comments.


----------



## dollysods

When I picked my daughter up to cuddle her, my MIL told me the reason the baby cried so much is that I was too anxious. Funny, because I didn't feel anxious about the baby, only about my hyper critical MIL...


----------



## FarmerCathy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *melmcwhorter* 
We're quite liberal, and she's quite "conservative", so I'm not surprised I guess. Just seems so ignorant (as if clothes make someone gay) & mean-spirited (I mean, would she not love her grandson if he did "turn out" gay???).

Just had to say there are conservatives on this board too. I wouldn't think that. You can't make anyone gay by dressing them with something someone might think is feminine. It's silly though to make assumptions just because someone is a conservative that they think badly about gays. I've had many gay friends. You are who you are.









From one APing conservative mama.


----------



## aurora_skys

Quote:


Originally Posted by *FarmerCathy* 
Just had to say there are conservatives on this board too. I wouldn't think that. You can't make anyone gay by dressing them with something someone might think is feminine. It's silly though to make assumptions just because someone is a conservative that they think badly about gays. I've had many gay friends. You are who you are.









From one APing conservative mama.

















: contribute that womans comments to her innate meanness and stupidity, not her political orientation.


----------



## aurora_skys

...just call me the thread killer


----------



## Down2Earth

Don't say that! I love this thread. Please, everyone keep posting, so I can keep







:!


----------



## mishka77

To get back on track, here is a quickie:

My MIL told us not to let DD hang upside down, because her liver might become detached!

She has lots of silly wives tales (cat will steal baby's breath, etc...)


----------



## ramlita

That one's new to me!


----------



## PatienceAndLove

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mishka77* 
To get back on track, here is a quickie:

My MIL told us not to let DD hang upside down, because her liver might become detached!

She has lots of silly wives tales (cat will steal baby's breath, etc...)

what????
I have heard a lot of stories, but that's a new one!


----------



## milkybean

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mishka77* 
To get back on track, here is a quickie:

My MIL told us not to let DD hang upside down, because her liver might become detached!

That one's just cracking me up, b/c of the anatomy of it all. I mean, if anything will detach it, being upright would seem more likely to do it....


----------



## amberskyfire

I live in Hawaii and we go to the beach a lot. When I was pregnant, my grandmother would chastise me for it every time I called her. She kept telling me that I needed to stay away from the water because it was dangerous - she told me she was worried I would be attacked by a shark! She was absolutely convinced and it got so bad that my mother made me swear to lie and say I wasn't going swimming anymore.








I guess that's what you get for living your entire life inland and knowing nothing about the ocean. My chances of getting attacked by a shark are less than being struck by lightning.

And yet, it was perfectly fine with her for me to get in the car and drive to work every day while pregnant.







Yeesh!


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
I live in Hawaii and we go to the beach a lot. When I was pregnant, my grandmother would chastise me for it every time I called her. She kept telling me that I needed to stay away from the water because it was dangerous - she told me she was worried I would be attacked by a shark! She was absolutely convinced and it got so bad that my mother made me swear to lie and say I wasn't going swimming anymore.








I guess that's what you get for living your entire life inland and knowing nothing about the ocean. My chances of getting attacked by a shark are less than being struck by lightning.

And yet, it was perfectly fine with her for me to get in the car and drive to work every day while pregnant.







Yeesh!

What stands out for me, is apparently she didn't care if *you* got eaten by a shark since she only worried when you were pregnant. Or did she think you used to be able to swim faster than sharks?


----------



## janerose

:


----------



## butterfly_mommy

Ok I have a new one. DS has just started to eat solids and we are doing it baby-led style. Anyway DH told his mom about how DS was enjoying a banana and how we gave him half of one with some of the skin on it and he was tasting it and squishing it etc.

She said to him "Why are you doing that, it's just messy and you should spoon feed him or he will never learn to eat at the table. Your sister did that with her children and it was so messy and now they don't know how to eat at the table"

Actually the 7 year old is fine at eating at the table when we have a family thing and the 5 year old has Aspergers and he has a really hard time sitting at the table.

Oh and actually DS does eat at the table with us in his booster chair


----------



## bluehairedwoman

: every time my dad & his wife come over to visit the baby during her cranky time, when nothing will console her except to BF, she asks me if the doctors told me that i can give her sugar water. i tell her no, there's no reason to give her anything other than BM. then the next time they come over, she asks me the same thing, as if to imply that i *should* be giving her sugar water. why oh why should i give her anything with no nutritional value whatsoever, when she is so easily consoled by BFing? this has happened 3-4 times already.

this isn't anything they've said, but i'd like to vent about the amount of stinky perfume and cologne that my dad & his wife wear. it gets all over my DD and she stinks. it even got on my hands just from holding her. not only does it stink but i don't want it getting all over her skin and i don't want her breathing its fumes.

my DH & i have decided to say something to them about this, even if it will hurt their feelings. i'm tired of having my daughter reak of cheap perfume.







:


----------



## deadheadmomma

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bluehairedwoman* 
i'm tired of having my daughter reak of cheap perfume.







:

I know what you mean. This happened to me with my SIL when DS was only a week or two old. I think there was something that really bothered me about my baby smelling like another woman as well as the other issues. Probably overactive hormones but I would bathe DS right after she left,







:.


----------



## bluehairedwoman

Quote:


Originally Posted by *deadheadmomma* 
I know what you mean. This happened to me with my SIL when DS was only a week or two old. I think there was something that really bothered me about my baby smelling like another woman as well as the other issues. Probably overactive hormones but I would bathe DS right after she left,







:.

we even bathed her afterwards and she still smelled! her dr. bronners baby mild soap was no match for gallons of cologne.

i am planning on saying something about it. i will spin it from a medical perspective though, i.e. tll them that she has been getting rashes and the dr. told us not to let her come into contact with perfumes (which we don't do anyway). ugh.


----------



## In Exile

Quote:


Originally Posted by *deadheadmomma* 
I know what you mean. This happened to me with my SIL when DS was only a week or two old. I think there was something that really bothered me about my baby smelling like another woman as well as the other issues. Probably overactive hormones but I would bathe DS right after she left,







:.

My MIL came to the hospital as if she bathed in it, awful. And I love my MIL-but it seems that people lose the "what are newborns like" instinct when they don't have a baby anymore.
We already had huge breastfeeding issues and her stinkin' up the room was no help at all.

I couldn't even use a scented deodorant for a year, only unscented, he started to cry when I masked the "mama scent" too much. My husband couldn't use aftershave as well, he started crying.

A baby's nose is still veeeeeery fresh and easy to overwhelm, people forget that, same with noise- I always hated how clueless people were when they yelled into his ear "oooooooh, are SLEEEEEEEPING baby??- while yanking his legs in the baby wrap.


----------



## amberskyfire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *deadheadmomma* 
I think there was something that really bothered me about my baby smelling like another woman as well as the other issues. Probably overactive hormones but I would bathe DS right after she left,







:.

I know exactly how you feel. I hate when people hold my baby because even if they are not wearing perfume, my baby still ends up smelling like them and it drives me bonkers. Once the neighbor's teenage daughter came over (she LOVES my baby, so I let her see her all the time) and held her for a little while and when I got her back, I couldn't smell my baby. She smelled like someone else's scent and detergent. It drove me absolutely wild! I could only stand it for about three minutes before I went and scrubbed my baby down in the bath, even though she had already had a bath that morning.


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## elmh23

My MIL only bathes like twice a week, maybe (I've never asked.) Either way she smells like a weird mix between BO and something else (it's subtle.) Anyway, my son comes home from grandmas smelling just like her and it drives me up a wall. My daughter never came home smelling like that probably because she wasn't (and still isn't) cuddley. I never realized how bad it was until my son was born.


----------



## Lady Lilya

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mishka77* 
To get back on track, here is a quickie:

My MIL told us not to let DD hang upside down, because her liver might become detached!

She has lots of silly wives tales (cat will steal baby's breath, etc...)

Wasn't that in an episode of House recently? It wasn't a baby. A grown woman's liver was hanging. She was fine laying down, but passed out whenever they stood her up.


----------



## beru

This one is not so bad but I will relay it anyway. I was grocery shopping with my 11 month old on my back in the Ergo. She clearly was happy. The cashier said, "You should get one of those Baby Bjorn's where they hang from the front." I said, "Oh no, those kill your back. I had one for my first and I deliberately did not give it to a friend because I didn't want to subject them to the pain." I usually am not outspoken about my opinions to strangers so I was proud for clearly stating my opinion.


----------



## amberskyfire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *beru* 
This one is not so bad but I will relay it anyway. I was grocery shopping with my 11 month old on my back in the Ergo. She clearly was happy. The cashier said, "You should get one of those Baby Bjorn's where they hang from the front." I said, "Oh no, those kill your back. I had one for my first and I deliberately did not give it to a friend because I didn't want to subject them to the pain." I usually am not outspoken about my opinions to strangers so I was proud for clearly stating my opinion.

My friend loaned me hers and I could not believe how painful it was. I could not hold my 3-month-old in it for even five minutes. I remember telling my husband that I couldn't even believe that they had tested the thing themselves before putting it on the market.

The worst parenting advice I'm getting right now is pretty much constant and I'm getting it from EVERYONE. Before I had a baby, everyone told me how it ws going to be. I already knew I was going to do natural/attachment parenting practices.

Everyone, even people without kids, were telling me I couldn't do anything I had planned.

"Oh, you'll be begging for the drugs, trust me. There's no such thing as women having 'natural' childbirth."

"Cloth diapers? Yeah, whatever. I give it two days before you give up and go to disposables."

"Sweetie, pregnancy isn't all that. It's the most miserable time of your life and you'll wish you'd never wanted kids."

Well, that advice wasn't the stupidest advice I ever got. The dumbest advice I ever got was the continued advice along the same vein that I am STILL getting for the people who know I ended up doing all of those things with a smile on my face.

"Homeschool your own kids? Yeah, right. You'll be putting them in public school after two weeks, you just wait and see."

Well, after pregnancy being the best 9 months of my life (no offense to those who had difficult pregnancies), having a drug-free UNASSISTED childbirth, and a ECd baby who's tiny tush has never once touched a plastic diaper, you'd think they would actually see some sense by now.

But no. I still am somehow incapable of caring for my children the way I want to. "It's just too hard!"


----------



## nolonger

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
"Homeschool your own kids? Yeah, right. You'll be putting them in public school after two weeks, you just wait and see."

Well, after pregnancy being the best 9 months of my life (no offense to those who had difficult pregnancies), having a drug-free UNASSISTED childbirth, and a ECd baby who's tiny tush has never once touched a plastic diaper, you'd think they would actually see some sense by now.

But no. I still am somehow incapable of caring for my children the way I want to. "It's just too hard!"


















:

dd homeschooled to college; you're going to love it.


----------



## Smokering

Quote:

Wasn't that in an episode of House recently? It wasn't a baby. A grown woman's liver was hanging. She was fine laying down, but passed out whenever they stood her up.
Wasn't it a kidney?


----------



## fruitlove

My mother is finding it very hard to accept the way we are parenting our daughter. When I told her that I won't be buying a crib for my 10 week old DD, and that we will keep her in our bed, she told me that it is unhygienic!!!
Poor Mum







. We are loving every minute of sleeping together!


----------



## veganone

Quote:


Originally Posted by *fruitlove* 
My mother is finding it very hard to accept the way we are parenting our daughter. When I told her that I won't be buying a crib for my 10 week old DD, and that we will keep her in our bed, she told me that it is unhygienic!!!
Poor Mum







. We are loving every minute of sleeping together!

Hee... Is it unhygienic for you or the baby?


----------



## fruitlove

Quote:


Originally Posted by *veganone* 
Hee... Is it unhygienic for you or the baby?

No idea! It wasn't worthwhile discussing. I am guessing she meant the baby.


----------



## lisavark

Ok, I think I posted my terrible pregnancy comments in the other thread, but my friends had some great ones I had to share...

My one friend, A, got this in a bathroom while shopping. She was washing her hands while holding her DS (he doesn't like the sling, so she was carrying him, not wearing him, and kind of washing one hand at a time). She'd just finished washing her hands when some lady walked in and SNATCHED her DS out of her arms--so abruptly that A said she couldn't have held onto him without hurting him.
Random baby-snatching lady: Here, honey, let me take him so you can wash your hands.
A: I already finished washing my hands; give me my baby back!
RBSL (still holding on to her DS!): No, really, it's okay, you wash your hands.
A: Give me my baby!
RBSL: Can you tell I can't wait to be a grandma?

Um, yeah...and your kids will want you snatching their babies away from them like that, I'm sure!

Same friend was at the park playing with another friend and her two year old. This time, fortunately, she had her DS in a carrier. Random lady walks up and offers to hold him.
Random lady: Let me hold your baby so you can play.
A: Huh? (Her DS is in a carrier, so her arms are free, and what's she supposed to be doing to "play," anyway?)
RL: Here, let me take him.
A: Um, he's fine. I'm fine. I can play all I want. (?!?)
RL: Yes, but this is no fun for me.

What? No fun for you not to be holding somebody else's baby? Go grow your own baby, lady!

Yikes.

And this isn't parenting-related, but it's too good not to share...

Another friend of mine, J, had a craving for a smoothie just two days postpartum.







She's pretty AP, but she lucked out with one of those babies who sleeps all the time and has to be woken up to breastfeed, so she ran out while he was napping to the Smoothie King down the road. She walks in and is about to order when the clerk looks at her postpartum belly, pats his own belly, and says, "You know, a few crunches would help with that!"

?!?!

My friend replies, in shock, "I just had a baby TWO DAYS AGO!"

The clerk laughed embarrassedly and said, "Oh, don't worry, I say that to all our preggos in here!"

Wow, it's a wonder he still works there, treating customers like that.

And I've had a couple, although nothing really bad...

One older lady at my church saw me holding DD so she could support herself on her legs, because DD likes that, and the lady said I should never let her put any weight on her legs because it would ruin her hips.

But my favorite was actually kinda sweet. I was with a couple of friends, and one of them asked to hold the baby. The other friend, who had spent more time with me, said, "She won't let you hold the baby. She won't let anyone hold her. She's a baby hog." She was joking, really, and actually, like I said, I thought it was sweet...because it's so true.







Yep, that's me. I'm a baby hog. Hey, she's MY baby; I'm allowed!


----------



## RedPony

Bump! More?


----------



## Zannah

Took the baby to see the MIL for the first time last weekend. MIL was holding her for awhile but it was getting close to the time dd gets fussy for a nap. She was obviously unhappy with MIL holding her so I went to take her back and MIL turns away from me and says to me sternly "No!".

I swear I was practicing so much self control at that moment, I wanted to slap her. For someone to tell me no, when I'm trying to hold MY baby, just kills me. Especially since she was in the NICU for the first 16 days of her life. Some people just don't get it.


----------



## senmom

At Back to School night, my 3rd graders childless teacher said that she thinks all electronics (TV, computer, Wii, Ds) should be banned. Ummmmm? How many children do you have? I do not tell her how to teach, do not tell me how to parent!!







:

I want to add, my kids are limited to their time doing those things. We have a rule that they must ask and than stick to the time limit. My kids do and are pretty good about it.

Also, dd told me this morning that she told them not to wear nylon track pants to school, because "she cannot stand the noise"!!

I am not liking her too much at the moment.


----------



## RedPony

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Zannah* 
Took the baby to see the MIL for the first time last weekend. MIL was holding her for awhile but it was getting close to the time dd gets fussy for a nap. She was obviously unhappy with MIL holding her so I went to take her back and MIL turns away from me and says to me sternly "No!".

I swear I was practicing so much self control at that moment, I wanted to slap her. For someone to tell me no, when I'm trying to hold MY baby, just kills me. Especially since she was in the NICU for the first 16 days of her life. Some people just don't get it.

Wow.







: Tell me you took the baby from her right at that moment, even if you didn't say anything.







:


----------



## elmh23

Quote:


Originally Posted by *senmom* 
At Back to School night, my 3rd graders childless teacher said that she thinks all electronics (TV, computer, Wii, Ds) should be banned. Ummmmm? How many children do you have? I do not tell her how to teach, do not tell me how to parent!!







:

I want to add, my kids are limited to their time doing those things. We have a rule that they must ask and than stick to the time limit. My kids do and are pretty good about it.

Also, dd told me this morning that she told them not to wear nylon track pants to school, because "she cannot stand the noise"!!

I am not liking her too much at the moment.









Wow, I'd have a hard time not switching my kid to a new teacher right away! Good luck!


----------



## hollytheteacher

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RedPony* 
Wow.







: Tell me you took the baby from her right at that moment, even if you didn't say anything.







:

I had a similar moment with MIL and I know what you mean (my ds was in NICU for 5 days), but when DS was only about 2 weeks old, he was crying in her arms so i went to get him and she walked away from me, walked behind the table where i couldn't get them and tried to "sshhh" him....um excuse me! He needs to nurse! Give him back! So many times i have wanted to say, if you want a baby have another of your own! LOL,

She also used to try to wake him all up the time when he was sleeping and she would come over because she wanted to see him, doesn't get to see him as much as we do (wtf we're his parents), etc etc (all her words)

But in all fairness, the last couple months things have gotten a LOT better (dh had a big talk with her).


----------



## In Exile

My favourite was always, when relatives and Inlaws stopped by at 10 PM and seriously expected to walk upstairs and get into the room where he FINALLY was sleeping.

One time my SIL said (it was 10:30PM), when he woke up (you know when they wake wake every 30 minutes, when they are 5 or 6 months old...): Since he is up anyway, why don't you bring him downstairs to play? She was kind of miffed when I went upstairs and nursed him back down which is WAY better than dragging a cranky and sleepy baby downstairs that wants to nurse in the dark.

My MIL said that she actually woke her kids up and brought them to visitors when they were little, 10PM and sleeping already- no problem.

Well, I sure never did that because I was pretty damn happy when my DS slept, because that was a very,very,very rare occasion.


----------



## In Exile

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hollytheteacher* 
I had a similar moment with MIL and I know what you mean (my ds was in NICU for 5 days), but when DS was only about 2 weeks old, he was crying in her arms so i went to get him and she walked away from me, walked behind the table where i couldn't get them and tried to "sshhh" him....um excuse me! He needs to nurse! Give him back! So many times i have wanted to say, if you want a baby have another of your own! LOL,

She also used to try to wake him all up the time when he was sleeping and *she would come over because she wanted to see him, doesn't get to see him as much as we do (wtf we're his parents*), etc etc (all her words)

But in all fairness, the last couple months things have gotten a LOT better (dh had a big talk with her).


Oh yeah, my MIL did that with her kids when visitors came. Because, you know, they travelled and have a right to see the kids.
Wouldn't it occur to you that even babies have to right to be left alone and not being woken up by a stranger that doesn't have breastmilk? Can you imagine your sleeping and somebody keeps poking you? I hate it when my cats decide it's time take a good bite of my bif toe at 3am.
Can you imagine being a being being wafted a around and you have no clue were mommy is?


----------



## veganone

Wow! DD was in the NICU for one day and it ripped my heart out.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *Zannah* 
Took the baby to see the MIL for the first time last weekend. MIL was holding her for awhile but it was getting close to the time dd gets fussy for a nap. She was obviously unhappy with MIL holding her so I went to take her back and MIL turns away from me and says to me sternly "No!".

I swear I was practicing so much self control at that moment, I wanted to slap her. For someone to tell me no, when I'm trying to hold MY baby, just kills me. Especially since she was in the NICU for the first 16 days of her life. Some people just don't get it.


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## Mommy2Austin

I was checking out at the grocery store and the cashier noticed DS1's bug bite on his legs. She turns to me and says "You know to keep them from itching all you have to do is take a little bleach and rub it on them." I just nodded my head paid and left rolling my eyes all the way home. I don't care if that did work, I'm not putting a toxic chemical designed as an industrial cleaner on my sons bug bites. Heck I don't even like putting hydrocortisone on it, but if it itches that bad I do.


----------



## HappyFox05

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mommy2Austin* 
I was checking out at the grocery store and the cashier noticed DS1's bug bite on his legs. She turns to me and says "You know to keep them from itching all you have to do is take a little bleach and rub it on them."

Whaaaaa?!!!


----------



## aurora_skys

...weird, maybe she meant ammonia? i havent heard of bleach being effective against bug bites!


----------



## smeisnotapirate

My MIL is very sweet. I love her very very much.

That's my disclaimer.

She does do that annoying grandmother thing of referring to DS as HER baby, when am i going to see MY baby, let me hold MY baby, etc. I usually let it slide. She also takes him from me the moment I come in the house, and I don't get him back until bedtime (or until she has to go in the kitchen, etc).

In her defense, she has been amazingly supportive of ALL my AP stuff (bf-ing, cosleeping, babywearing, etc). She keeps saying that she was AP before AP came around







even though she's really not as old as she wants people to think.

I think this will also fade when he gets to be a pain in the butt and not quite so holdable.









ETA: There's this one cashier at my fav grocery store who ALWAYS stops me and says "is that safe?" or "I think he wants to get out of there" about my hotsling. DS is usually sleeping peacefully or happily chatting to the shopping cart. The last time, he asked me "are you sure that's safe?" I said "nope," smiled sunnily, and walked away. I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooo sick of him.


----------



## ernalala

We had two of my friends over for a few days, from abroad. Planned was they would be here just at the beginning of the last month of my pregnancy (I was really keen on having them over but less keen on the timing







) but then we had real bad last weeks of pregnancy and an early birth







.
During the time they spent at our home they've been really helpful (eg some cleaning done, cooking, support, got us a baby bath which we hadn't had the chance to buy yet etc.!) so I am really grateful for all of that, and just their presence alone.
I just had my newborn baby home in between NICU stays (not knowing yet we'd had to send him back though).
They'de made a nice dinner, set the table, all was ready. But then our baby started to fuss wanting to nurse (and nursing was not going so well considering he was a preterm newborn with severe jaundice, and I'd hardly nursed him live in the first days of life) so instead of joining dinner I moved us to our comfortable chair to nurse (being hungry myself but I'd eat later what the heck). And to my surprise my one friend got upset! She wouldn't have/understand that I wouldn't join all for dinner and instead fulfill my baby's high need! That I wouldn't put my own need before my child's? I was completely devastated by her assuming that HER dinner and my eating was to be considered more important and urgent than nursing and holding my needy tiny infant!
I gave her lots of credit for being my good friend and she was meaning to be good, and could not know much about having/caring for a baby herself








.(eg they got us a pack of pacifiers too, which we would NEVER even consider to buy nor use). But it would never have occurred to me that someone would even 'reason' this inconsiderately around a new mom and her (newborn) baby, both needing each other tremendously.

I'd made the mistake to eat before my baby once (in the hospital right after birth with baby in NICU for check, me totally exhausted, dehydrated and famined, and me and DH ignorant about hospital habits, and baby only being brought hours later :-((() and would not make this mistake again!


----------



## bluehairedwoman

jaw is dropping here about the bleach comment... yah, i'll just put a substance that could wear a hole through clothing on my child. not to mention the environmental effects.

btw baking soda mixed with water to make a paste is supposed to help itching. fwiw.


----------



## milkybean

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lady Lilya* 
Wasn't that in an episode of House recently? It wasn't a baby. A grown woman's liver was hanging. She was fine laying down, but passed out whenever they stood her up.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *Smokering* 
Wasn't it a kidney?

Yep, kidney.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bluehairedwoman* 
btw baking soda mixed with water to make a paste is supposed to help itching. fwiw.

My son can attest to that! I don't even remember where I heard of it, if indeed I did, but one day he had a mosquito bite and I just randomly thought of it. IT's a brilliant remedy!


----------



## elisent

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bluehairedwoman* 
jaw is dropping here about the bleach comment... yah, i'll just put a substance that could wear a hole through clothing on my child. not to mention the environmental effects.

btw baking soda mixed with water to make a paste is supposed to help itching. fwiw.

I had mosquito bites this summer and baking soda/water worked like a charm! It completely stopped the itching. Hydrocortisone didn't help at all but baking soda saved us.


----------



## ashleyhaugh

actually bleach does work.... i wouldnt put it straight oh though. i remember as a kid me and me sis and cousin got into some crazy itchy bushes, and my mom made a weak bleach bath in the sink for us to go stick our arms in when the itching got too bad. it really helped


----------



## amberskyfire

Someone told me to put breastmilk on mosquito bites and HEY! It works!

Here are some lovely gems from my husband. I have already decided that he is not allowed to watch my daughter alone for longer than it takes for me to wash my hair - EVER. He has absolutely no concept of child safety whatsoever.

When installing the car seat when she was three months old, he moved the shoulder straps of the convertible car seat all the way to the very top rung. I told him he needed to lower them and he would not do it, saying "she'll grow into it" and "it's perfectly fine." They were a good six inches above her shoulders at least.









We had a huge argument about how the carseat was installed. He didn't want to bother tightening it at all. It was attached by the belt so loosely that you could scoot the seat from the middle all the way over to the side to sit in either of the side seats while it was locked in. He didn't even want to help me by holding the seat while I did it myself. He said it was "fine" and didn't need to be tight.

He has repeatedly told me to just hold the baby in my arms while we are driving down the road because she was crying and he didn't want to stop the car.

I pump milk in case of emergency hospitalization and I was trying to show him how to prepare frozen breastmilk. He got so angry with me for thinking he was an idiot and said "I'm not stupid! I know how to make a bottle of milk for a baby!" I gave him a wry look and said "really? How, then? Because you've never had to do it before." He just scowled at me and said "all you have to do is boil it in a pot on the stove. DUH!"

The other day at the store we got the wrong medicine - children's Tylenol instead of infant's - and he wanted me to just give that to her anyway, saying it was made for 2 year old babies, so it couldn't hurt her. She's 6 months old.

And the most beautiful gem of them all? He suggested I give her some of the codeine HIS DOCTOR PRESCRIBED FOR HIM the other night to help her get to sleep.















:























I have NO idea how my stepdaughter survived so long.
My husband is the king of "I did it to C and she's fine."


----------



## yasinsmama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Zannah* 
Took the baby to see the MIL for the first time last weekend. MIL was holding her for awhile but it was getting close to the time dd gets fussy for a nap. She was obviously unhappy with MIL holding her so I went to take her back and MIL turns away from me and says to me sternly "No!".

I swear I was practicing so much self control at that moment, I wanted to slap her. For someone to tell me no, when I'm trying to hold MY baby, just kills me. Especially since she was in the NICU for the first 16 days of her life. Some people just don't get it.

These MIL posts are making my blood boil! If she told me no, she would get the evil eye while I took my son back from her!


----------



## veganone

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
Someone told me to put breastmilk on mosquito bites and HEY! It works!

Here are some lovely gems from my husband. I have already decided that he is not allowed to watch my daughter alone for longer than it takes for me to wash my hair - EVER. He has absolutely no concept of child safety whatsoever.

When installing the car seat when she was three months old, he moved the shoulder straps of the convertible car seat all the way to the very top rung. I told him he needed to lower them and he would not do it, saying "she'll grow into it" and "it's perfectly fine." They were a good six inches above her shoulders at least.









We had a huge argument about how the carseat was installed. He didn't want to bother tightening it at all. It was attached by the belt so loosely that you could scoot the seat from the middle all the way over to the side to sit in either of the side seats while it was locked in. He didn't even want to help me by holding the seat while I did it myself. He said it was "fine" and didn't need to be tight.

He has repeatedly told me to just hold the baby in my arms while we are driving down the road because she was crying and he didn't want to stop the car.

I pump milk in case of emergency hospitalization and I was trying to show him how to prepare frozen breastmilk. He got so angry with me for thinking he was an idiot and said "I'm not stupid! I know how to make a bottle of milk for a baby!" I gave him a wry look and said "really? How, then? Because you've never had to do it before." He just scowled at me and said "all you have to do is boil it in a pot on the stove. DUH!"

The other day at the store we got the wrong medicine - children's Tylenol instead of infant's - and he wanted me to just give that to her anyway, saying it was made for 2 year old babies, so it couldn't hurt her. She's 6 months old.

And the most beautiful gem of them all? He suggested I give her some of the codeine HIS DOCTOR PRESCRIBED FOR HIM the other night to help her get to sleep.















:























I have NO idea how my stepdaughter survived so long.
My husband is the king of "I did it to C and she's fine."

Wow... Just wow... I'm so glad you are there too.

Oh, but you can give an infant children's tylenol, but you need to look up the correct doseage since it's less concentrated. We do it all the time.


----------



## SheepNumber97245

We were eating out at a restaurant...

Me: *puts bean on table infront of baby*

Guy at table next to us: "He won't eat off the plate?"

Me: "No. He likes to throw things."

Guy at table next to us: "You know why he does that don't you?"

Me: "He just likes to throw things and watch me pick them up."

Guy at table next to us: It's because he's not hungry. He ain't never skip a meal I bet. Try and skip him a meal and see what he does."

Me: "No. He throws everything. Not just his plate. Toys, food, drinks, his socks... He is hungry... and no i don't skip his meals. When he's hungry I feed him."

Guy at table next to us: "Don't worry i see a lot of mothers doing that. Feeding their babies too much."

Me: "Uh... yeah we really gotta do something about this horrible epidemic of women FEEDING their children."







:


----------



## rhoneyes

so far i have gotten one comment that really stood out. My mother in law insists I give my baby water and little formula every day. That way my baby has everything he needs and doesnt become dehydrated. Hes 2 wks old.

what the heck??? Im exclusively breast feeding and feeding on demand...its funny cause every time I see her she insists on buying bottles and formula. But wont get it that I need to drink water for him..lol.

oh and she really really really wants my baby to have a binkie. I admit sometimes it would be nice to quiet him, but I can just feed him. Its not that big a deal...lol. No binkie for baby only boobie is our motto.


----------



## CowsRock

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rhoneyes* 
oh and she really really really wants my baby to have a binkie. I admit sometimes it would be nice to quiet him, but I can just feed him. Its not that big a deal...lol. No binkie for baby only boobie is our motto.

If it makes you feel any better, he may not even want it. In desperation during his super horrible car period, we tried one and my son acted like we stuck the most disgusting thing in his mouth. I was both happily relieved and totally out of ideas. Then another mom suggested a car toy that he loved and things got a little better. Anyway, point was, if she'll take your word for it, you could always just tell her you tried one and he hated it...some people don't think that happens but there are plenty of moms who will say their babe hated a pacifier...she might want to see it with her own eyes though so it might backfire...or maybe she would try to find the type that he will like...


----------



## Baby_Cakes

DH was getting his hair cut the other day and our hairdresser came up with a doozie. We recently put up the crib in our baby's room and he was telling her how our cats think it's for them, and have been hanging out in it a little bit - it's cute. She freaked and said we have to make sure we keep the cats out of the baby's room once she comes...b/c they will steal her milk?

I still can't figure it out. The only thing I can think of is Lady and the Tramp and the 2 siamese cats who sing that song and want to steal the baby's milk bottles?


----------



## gabysmom617

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes* 
DH was getting his hair cut the other day and our hairdresser came up with a doozie. We recently put up the crib in our baby's room and he was telling her how our cats think it's for them, and have been hanging out in it a little bit - it's cute. She freaked and said we have to make sure we keep the cats out of the baby's room once she comes...b/c they will steal her milk?

I still can't figure it out. The only thing I can think of is Lady and the Tramp and the 2 siamese cats who sing that song and want to steal the baby's milk bottles?









:


----------



## springmum

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Zannah* 
Took the baby to see the MIL for the first time last weekend. MIL was holding her for awhile but it was getting close to the time dd gets fussy for a nap. She was obviously unhappy with MIL holding her so I went to take her back and MIL turns away from me and says to me sternly "No!".

I swear I was practicing so much self control at that moment, I wanted to slap her. For someone to tell me no, when I'm trying to hold MY baby, just kills me. Especially since she was in the NICU for the first 16 days of her life. Some people just don't get it.

ha ha my Nana did the exact same thing. My little guy was hungry and crying in her arms (about 3 months old at the time), and I went to take him and she said, "he's fine, I don't mind the crying"..... huh?.... I politely told her he was hungry and I do mind the crying.
She even called the next day to say that she wanted me to know that the crying didn't bother her at all.
She was the same one that also told me when he was a newborn that crying is good for him, it will help exercise and clear out his lungs!! ... oh dear .....


----------



## AmandaTN

I'm not a mom, yet. But I work with some of the craziest people in the world when it comes to babies and the like (ironically, a hospital).

Last night, a nurse from the floor came down and was trying to show off a video of her granddaughter eating. I politely started watching, and the nurse was giggling that it was a vid of her feeding her GD ice cream. I asked how old she was, and was informed she was 6 1/2 months old!

I couldn't really stop myself from saying, "and you're giving her ICE CREAM??"
To which she replied, "Oh yeah! It's strawberry cheesecake!" She was PROUD.

These are the people that try to tell me that my parenting ideas are crap.


----------



## pear-shaped

I heard a really weird one yesterday from dh's aunt. Dd had the hiccoughs and AIL said that to cure them we needed to turn her upside-down nine times.







I told her we were not going to do that. Then she tried to do it herself but dd was too heavy for her.

Another time she was here she had dd in her arms and kept saying "I want to make you cry." I have no idea what that was about. Fortunately dd doesn't like being held for long by anyone other than me, dh, or mil, so she started fussing and I just took her from her. This same woman always used to repeat that nonsense about crying being good for the lungs.

When I was pregnant, she told me to scratch my butt whenever I had a craving. (Many older Italians are superstitious that if you don't satisfy a craving while pregnant your baby will have a birthmark somehow related to what you didn't eat. I guess the butt scratching is an antidote.) I may have mentioned another doosy she said earlier in this thread, but I can't remember so I'll mention it just in case. Everyone but me was convinced I was going to have a boy, and when we found out it was a girl, she was disappointed because she's a real misogynist. When I told her, she asked, "what happened!?" Again,







I was so perplexed by her response I was speechless. Later I thought of what I should have said: "What happened? I fell and landed on my belly and broke the baby's penis off. Now it's a girl." I wish I had said that.

AIL has a friend who's always good for some strange advice. She told me to give dd lots of water whenever she's teething to make up for all the drooling. She insists that babies should only go out early in the morning (10:30 is already too late, she yelled at me once when I ran into her at that hour) and in the late afternoon. Oh, and they can only go to the beach in June and September. She was shocked to hear that we took dd to the beach in July and August. She wanted to know what time of day we took her. Of course, we didn't go early enough in the morning...apparently at the beach 9 AM is too late! I said that early in the morning the water is pretty cold! She looked at me horrified and said, "You brought the baby into the water? You should never bring babies under a year old into the water!"









One thing that was really strange that I kept hearing when dd was younger, from maybe 3-5 mos., whenever we were out and she'd cry, older people would say it was because she had a bellyache. Usually it was because she was bored that I was standing still waiting in a line or something like that. She just wanted to be moving all the time. Sometimes I'd say, no it's because she's bored, they'd just smile condescendingly at me and repeat that it was a bellyache, as though I were an idiot and didn't know my dd better than they did


----------



## cabbitdancer

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pear-shaped* 
One thing that was really strange that I kept hearing when dd was younger, from maybe 3-5 mos., whenever we were out and she'd cry, older people would say it was because she had a bellyache.

I wonder if that's where the phrase "quit your bellyaching" came from...


----------



## kalamos23

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CowsRock* 
If it makes you feel any better, he may not even want it. In desperation during his super horrible car period, we tried one and my son acted like we stuck the most disgusting thing in his mouth. I was both happily relieved and totally out of ideas. Then another mom suggested a car toy that he loved and things got a little better. Anyway, point was, if she'll take your word for it, you could always just tell her you tried one and he hated it...some people don't think that happens but there are plenty of moms who will say their babe hated a pacifier...she might want to see it with her own eyes though so it might backfire...or maybe she would try to find the type that he will like...

Ditto this - I tried and tried to get DD to like pacis with no avail - she just looked at me like I was crazy, and then with a very disgusted look, spat it out. So now we don't try pacis anymore.

This is just more stupid advice - and from my dad no less! My mom breastfed all of us, so coming from him, it made no sense. I found out that DD is intolerant to dairy through my breastmilk. So I had to cut out dairy and later soy, eggs and tomatoes. Well, when I told dad that I had to cut out dairy, and that I was having a hard time finding foods to eat (I practically lived on dairy before), he told me that I should supplement with formula... which is made of cow's milk - exactly what she is intolerant of! *shakes head* I told him it would be much easier and way cheaper to cut out dairy for me than it would be to invest in elemental formulas.


----------



## smeisnotapirate

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pear-shaped* 
One thing that was really strange that I kept hearing when dd was younger, from maybe 3-5 mos., whenever we were out and she'd cry, older people would say it was because she had a bellyache. Usually it was because she was bored that I was standing still waiting in a line or something like that. She just wanted to be moving all the time. Sometimes I'd say, no it's because she's bored, they'd just smile condescendingly at me and repeat that it was a bellyache, as though I were an idiot and didn't know my dd better than they did









My grandmother's fav phrase is "Pobrecito! He has gas! You didn't burp him well enough!" EVERY.TIME.HE.CRIES.







:


----------



## pear-shaped

I forgot to mention this, people often ask me why dd doesn't have a pacifier. Even when she's not fussing or crying. I wasn't planning on giving her one, but then in desperation I tried to (I'm glad to know I'm not the only mama who's done that about-face) but she hated it and gagged. Whenever I tell people she doesn't have one because she didn't want one they don't believe me. I always hear one of two things in response: I should have been more forceful (so I was supposed to shove it in her mouth while she gagged and cried?) or I should have put honey on it! (Yikes!)









Quote:


Originally Posted by *cabbitdancer* 
I wonder if that's where the phrase "quit your bellyaching" came from...

Lol...That may be!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 
My grandmother's fav phrase is "Pobrecito! He has gas! You didn't burp him well enough!" EVERY.TIME.HE.CRIES.







:

That's exactly what it was like with some people...some of them were our neighbors so they said it to me different times. Wow, if only babies were that uncomplicated, that they'd cry for only one reason. Nah, they'd be so much less interesting!


----------



## Mommy2Austin

I was at my nephew's (ODsis son) birthday party on Saturday and DS2 needed to nurse. It was too hot and crazy with the kids running around outside so I went in the house to nurse him in the quiet. BIL (YDSis BF) comes in looking for a trash can and asks "Are you breastfeeding?" I say "Yep!" and he goes "Oh so I guess your still into that." I just said yeah, but all I could think is "Still into that?" like it's some kind of passing fad that I'm holding onto lol. That's me alright. Next I'm plotting to bring the '60s back.





















:


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 
My grandmother's fav phrase is "Pobrecito! He has gas! You didn't burp him well enough!" EVERY.TIME.HE.CRIES.







:

Wait, "pobrecito" is a real word? I say that all the time about fussy babies. Wonder where I learned it from...


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## minkajane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 









Wait, "pobrecito" is a real word? I say that all the time about fussy babies. Wonder where I learned it from...

Isn't it Spanish for "poor baby"?


----------



## smeisnotapirate

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
Isn't it Spanish for "poor baby"?

Yup!


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## sapphire_chan

of course...I picked it up from "Abuela" my French tutor's mother.


----------



## bluehairedwoman

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes* 
She freaked and said we have to make sure we keep the cats out of the baby's room once she comes...b/c they will steal her milk?

LOL i don't know how that would happen unless you leave EBM out in a cat dish! although my cats are very interested in and sniff around the breastshields right after i've pumped!


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## ernalala

When I mentioned I was 'still' bf my 2y8m toddler, two women asked if I still got any milk then? Of course, otherwise we wouldn't really nurse anymore, would we?
Absolute limit fıor bf in this country (Turkey) seems to be 2 years, and 2 years EXACT! It's like: 'oh now, baby, your bf time's up, let's quit alltogether, tomorrow no more 'cause you're 2 and 2y1day is just too old for it. Or whatever.

I don't understand doctors recommending women to start (night) bottle feeding at one because mom's milk is really not nutritious anymore at that age (bf is not only about nutritients anyway, right), and those women believing every dr.'s advice given to them... (a neighbour

I wish there would be an organisation like LLL here that stops all these fables about bm...


----------



## ernalala

Now, I got another one :-( 

When just now I picked up my son from pre-school I was holding his brother (the 2y8m old) and another mother there said 'shame' to him (!) because she saw he's 'still' in diapers... She is about the only other (presently) SAHM sending her child there, also half days, but because of several remarks she gave already in the short conversations I had with her at the school gate, I doubt it to be a good idea to get more 'friendly' with her... And ı guess good SHE doesn't know about our extbf or I would become a real freak while I find I'm pretty normal .

I can understand children sometimes making fun of another child in diapers when they're out of those, but I do not understand the necessity of adults (with diaperless child) to interfere with an individual and private process as un-diapering even to the point of shaming a toddler (and consequentially the parent, too). And he's not even three.

It's not a first time we got this unwanted 'message' and it irritates me so much! Especially because of the way people have been 'addressing' it to my little boy. There's nothing he should EVER be ashamed of (unless it's throwing stones at someone or something like that and even then I'd like not to shame him but just remind him it's not something you do...).


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## trancechylde

Quote:

When just now I picked up my son from pre-school I was holding his brother (the 2y8m old) and another mother there said 'shame' to him
Can I just add something here that may or may not be relevant









I am South African, and where I come from, saying "shame" to someone is NOT AT ALL actually shaming them!
It's used more to commiserate with someone, or even as a term of affection. I guess it would be the equivalent of the British "awww bless him".

For example I say daily things like "Shame my boy, are you hungry?" or, "Shame, babe (to DH) look what he's doing, it's so cute", or after a fall, "Shame, did you bump your head?"

it sounds weird as I'm typing it but just thought I'd throw this out there...any South African's out there that know what I'm talking about?

She may of course HAVE meant it the way you perceived it, in which case, that's definitely out of line, but maybe it was just a cultural misunderstanding?


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## Magali

Apparently, I am co-sleeping for my own selfish reasons ie by trying to enjoy every moment with my cuddly boy before he is all grown up. I am doing my son a disservice by not teaching my child how to deal with life on his own ie by not letting him cry himself to sleep and being there for him when he needs me.







:


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## ernalala

Well, thanks for your view on the 'shame' phrasing, but shame both in my mother tongue (Dutch) and my guest country's language (Turkish) definitely carries the meaning of 'shame'. It is eg said to children when they're still in diapers, being 'naughty', not walking yet, still bf, etc. sometimes more strongly when people find a child is totally out of line. İn the first case it's like saying: you're still little and not acting your age, grow up fast, be like your peers. I find it totally not ok. Especially since every child develops individually and it addresses the child in a very negative way. I am offended by it while knowing the offender is not even aware of the consequences of a (for him/her ok) 'random' remark. People say so many things without realising what they're actually doing. I don't want my child to have to hear the 'shame' word from someone who finds he should 'grow up'.
Many people here are convinced that a child should be out of diapers at 1 or 1,5, so I do know where it comes from.
Luckily, our pediatrician is also the one who says that a child should never be made to toilet train before 2,5 and only when it is clear he/she is physically and emotionally ready.
Another thing that bothers me here is that people tend to discuss topics regarding your children, in the presence of your children, as if these little creatures don't have ears and cannot be affected or hurt by people discussing things related to them over their heads. It gives me the creeps. I always try to redirect such conversations when it includes us as not to upset my children. And yes, this may be a cultural difference, but ı am sure there are many other local young moms that are fed up with such interfering too . Other people tend to always tell you what to do regarding parenting, and often know better. But that's a 'problem' for most young parents all over the world, I understand!


----------



## Magali

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ernalala* 
Another thing that bothers me here is that people tend to discuss topics regarding your children, in the presence of your children, as if these little creatures don't have ears and cannot be affected or hurt by people discussing things related to them over their heads. It gives me the creeps. I always try to redirect such conversations when it includes us as not to upset my children. And yes, this may be a cultural difference, but ı am sure there are many other local young moms that are fed up with such interfering too . Other people tend to always tell you what to do regarding parenting, and often know better. But that's a 'problem' for most young parents all over the world, I understand!


I agree. This summer we were in the process of buying a house. The owner and I chatted on the patio while the house was being inspected. My ds was kind of shying away from her and wanted me to hold him. He had never met her before and was 14 months at the time. She started saying to him "you need to give your mommy some alone time, you always want mommy, we're going to have to get you into some playgroups and make some friends." Okay...we??? And I love that my boy wants to be with me all the time. He's a baby!!!


----------



## Llanitas

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Magali* 
She started saying to him "you need to give your mommy some alone time, you always want mommy, we're going to have to get you into some playgroups and make some friends." Okay...we??? And I love that my boy wants to be with me all the time. He's a baby!!!

Well it's good for little children to start learning to be independent, but yeah, i love too that my boy wants to be with me all the time... the good thing would be for lifetime!


----------



## ernalala

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Llanitas* 
Well it's good for little children to start learning to be independent, but yeah, i love too that my boy wants to be with me all the time... the good thing would be for lifetime!










Oh but my kids learn to be very inventive and confident independent creatures exactly by being unconditionally allowed to be attached to their mother and father, and therefore get the complete trust and confidence they need to gradually explore the world by themselves. We never have babysits, we take them everywhere with us (which is not always easy, but it is what we want). Wanting to be with mom or dad all or most of the time is a natural thing but it does not have the consequence that a child will have issues with exploring his/her surroundings, or will have seperation anxiety because of that, I am strongly convinced of the opposite. And a lot is in a child's character too.
So I do not tend to stress on my acquiring independency for my children, since I believe it is a natural process just as toilet learning and such.
And apparently people who see this differently like to give remarks about that .


----------



## NaturalMama311

I was having a discussion at work just before having DD about choosing to BF and CD. One of my (male) co-workers looked at me and said "_You're_ going to use cloth diapers?" I shot him a puzzled look and asked what that was supposed to mean. He just laughed and said "We'll see how long that lasts when you have to do laundry every day" and turned around in his chair. This coming from the same guy whose wife had to have a c-section because the OB told them that the baby was just too big for her body - an 8 pound baby too big?


----------



## In Exile

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NaturalMama311* 
I was having a discussion at work just before having DD about choosing to BF and CD. One of my (male) co-workers looked at me and said "_You're_ going to use cloth diapers?" I shot him a puzzled look and asked what that was supposed to mean. He just laughed and said "We'll see how long that lasts when you have to do laundry every day" and turned around in his chair. This coming from the same guy whose wife had to have a c-section because the OB told them that the baby was just too big for her body - an 8 pound baby too big?

I love horrified guys who have cloth diapering wifes. They don't do the dirty laundry because their wifes do it mostly-but all you hear from some of them is "ooooh my goooooood, wait till you have to wash it". Or the "I am not sharing my laundy machine with poopy diapers"=again, while their SAHM wifes do most of the diaper changes and laundry. Never ceases to amaze me.

Or a lot of them in reality have never seen a modern cloth diaper and just don't do diaper changes, period. But of course those guys are the experts on the topic. What kind of UA Violation says "we'll see" as if that's anything up to him to decide or even judge? Mind boggling.


----------



## Twinklefae

I have two ... When DS was maybe 4 months old we were in line a the grocery store, and the clerk says to me
"Why do you have him in that thing?" (Ring sling)
I said that he likes and it keeps him quiet, and it's easier the lugging the car seat.
She was very young and said "But don't you worry you'll bump him into things?"
I answered no, that I just got finished being pregnant for a long time, so I was used to not bumping my belly into things.
She says "I see parents wearing those things all the time, but when I have a baby, I'm going to use the carseat. I don't think it's safe!" (Interesting note, the woman directly behind me had her slightly older baby in a Bjorn... so this was offensive to both of us!)

At the same grocery store when DS was a little older, I had an older woman yell at DS "Your Mommy should turn you around so you can see stuff!" I didn't say anything, but it made me mad!


----------



## Teenytoona

Yeah I have a (female) cousin who periodically asks if I'm still CDing. Um Yeah. I grew up CDing my younger sibs.

On the upside, Mr Toona is glad to chat with anyone and tell how he loves CDing!







He thinks it's the best thing. This is his 5th child, first time CDing and he loves it. He does the diaper laundry sometimes and never hesitates at a diaper change. So boo! to those people fussing that you'll never keep it up after doing the laundry.


----------



## riverside knitter

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NaturalMama311* 
I was having a discussion at work just before having DD about choosing to BF and CD. One of my (male) co-workers looked at me and said "_You're_ going to use cloth diapers?" I shot him a puzzled look and asked what that was supposed to mean. He just laughed and said "We'll see how long that lasts when you have to do laundry every day" and turned around in his chair. This coming from the same guy whose wife had to have a c-section because the OB told them that the baby was just too big for her body - an 8 pound baby too big?

I hate those "we'll see how long that lasts" comments! I have my moments of smugness when I get to tell people that we're still CDing, it's really easy, and DD has never had diaper rash







.

On the 8 lb baby being too big for a woman's body, it is possible. DD was less than 7 lbs at birth and I learned the hard way that my birth canal is small. She was stuck and required forceps & a 4th degree laceration to come out. That combined with a significant hemorrage means that my future deliveries will be c-sections.


----------



## butterfly_mommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Teenytoona* 
Yeah I have a (female) cousin who periodically asks if I'm still CDing. Um Yeah. I grew up CDing my younger sibs.

On the upside, Mr Toona is glad to chat with anyone and tell how he loves CDing!







He thinks it's the best thing. This is his 5th child, first time CDing and he loves it. He does the diaper laundry sometimes and never hesitates at a diaper change. So boo! to those people fussing that you'll never keep it up after doing the laundry.

My DH too...He loves cloth diapers (well he isn't obsessed like me







) however he did go with me to a used diaper sale that we had to drive 1.5 hours to get too and well he was pretty excited going through the pile of diapers and asking me "What about this one"


----------



## ramlita

"You have to drink milk to make milk." I can't _believe_ that one is still around.

My DP's niece just discovered she is allergic to milk. She hopes to start TTC sometime fairly soon, and since she heard she can't drink milk, she'd been assuming she wouldn't be able to breastfeed!









Luckily, she listened closely when I said it was good to eat well of course, but milk is certainly not required- she sure laughed when I reminded her that no other mammal drinks milk regularly while lactating.








Yep, I'm gonna do my best to befriend her and help her out with learning about everything


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## mamalisa

Like having one more Laos of laundry is what might put you her the edge? Heck, I do at least a load every day anyway!


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## LiLStar

my dh has no problems with the cloth. Sometimes he's confused whether something's a fitted or aio, and stuffing a pocket is a bit beyond him, so he usually just goes for a prefold and cover, since he never messes those up







A couple times while babysitting my nephews, I've tried to get him to put the diaper on (sposie) while I run upstairs and shove the dirty one in the pail. He got all panicked and wanted to put the yucky one away because he didn't know HOW to do "that kind" of diaper. Awesome, eh? my dh is scared of sposies!!! LOL. I was like, dude, its just an aio, lol.


----------



## bigeyes

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bluehairedwoman* 
we even bathed her afterwards and she still smelled! her dr. bronners baby mild soap was no match for gallons of cologne.

i am planning on saying something about it. i will spin it from a medical perspective though, i.e. tll them that she has been getting rashes and the dr. told us not to let her come into contact with perfumes (which we don't do anyway). ugh.

Google toxic perfumes. There are plenty of valid reasons to keep that poisonous junk away from _everybody._ You can print out reams of information to hand them if they argue.


----------



## amberskyfire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bigeyes* 
Google toxic perfumes. There are plenty of valid reasons to keep that poisonous junk away from _everybody._ You can print out reams of information to hand them if they argue.









At the WIC office and my old OB/GYN's office here they had signs put up that asked patients not to wear any perfume or scented products because of the effect they had on other people and the staff working there. I always found that odd, but I guess with the incredibly high rate of allergies these days, it makes sense.


----------



## kriket

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ramlita* 
"You have to drink milk to make milk." I can't _believe_ that one is still around.

what? whe. da.. where does that come from? where do cows and goats get their milk! grass magic? holy boly, luckly no one has told me this, I would ask if they drink urine to make urine...

Not to invite the comparison but holy moly.

I couldn't give to humps about peoples allergies. They don't give two humps about mine, I think the world has become allergic to itself.








Smelling really really strong is just rude.


----------



## bigeyes

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
At the WIC office and my old OB/GYN's office here they had signs put up that asked patients not to wear any perfume or scented products because of the effect they had on other people and the staff working there. I always found that odd, but I guess with the incredibly high rate of allergies these days, it makes sense.

It's more than allergies. There are petrochemicals and things in perfumes that can cause brain damage. Perfumes, _unlike_ other cosmetics or drugs are unregulated by the FDA or the EPA, and they don't have to list their ingredients, so people don't realize what horrible things they are spraying into the air and onto their bodies. The first 3 links tell about what kind of things are in perfume, air freshener and incense, and should give you some idea why you don't want your infant exposed to it.

http://www.ourlittleplace.com/chemicals.html
http://healthcarecentre.blogspot.com...es-cancer.html
http://healthychild.org/resources/ar...and_potpourri/
http://national-toxic-encephalopathy-foundation.org/
http://blogs.lifestyle.aol.ca/2008/0...hold-products/
http://www.safe2use.com/health/perfume-eternity.htm
http://www.ourlittleplace.com/perfume.html


----------



## Teenytoona

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bigeyes* 
It's more than allergies. There are petrochemicals and things in perfumes that can cause brain damage. Perfumes, _unlike_ other cosmetics or drugs are unregulated by the FDA or the EPA, and they don't have to list their ingredients, so people don't realize what horrible things they are spraying into the air and onto their bodies. The first 3 links tell about what kind of things are in perfume, air freshener and incense, and should give you some idea why you don't want your infant exposed to it.

http://www.ourlittleplace.com/chemicals.html
http://healthcarecentre.blogspot.com...es-cancer.html
http://healthychild.org/resources/ar...and_potpourri/
http://national-toxic-encephalopathy-foundation.org/
http://blogs.lifestyle.aol.ca/2008/0...hold-products/
http://www.safe2use.com/health/perfume-eternity.htm
http://www.ourlittleplace.com/perfume.html


WHOA! What fascinating information! I generally can't stand perfumes and don't wear them myself, I'd much prefer the smell of BO if it comes to it that 80 gallons of heavy perfume. But this information takes that one degree further. No regulations? Just putting anything into it!?!? OY!


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LiLStar* 
my dh has no problems with the cloth. Sometimes he's confused whether something's a fitted or aio, and stuffing a pocket is a bit beyond him, so he usually just goes for a prefold and cover, since he never messes those up







A couple times while babysitting my nephews, I've tried to get him to put the diaper on (sposie) while I run upstairs and shove the dirty one in the pail. He got all panicked and wanted to put the yucky one away because he didn't know HOW to do "that kind" of diaper. Awesome, eh? my dh is scared of sposies!!! LOL. I was like, dude, its just an aio, lol.

Sposies aren't AIOs though. They're AIOs where the fastener tries to attach itself to everything and some sposies have fasteners that you can't reposition. With and AIO you can fiddle with things until it's right.

My dh, who can't neatly fold a letter to go into an envelope, has no problem with using flats. It's just a matter of practice.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kriket* 
what? whe. da.. where does that come from? where do cows and goats get their milk! grass magic? holy boly, luckly no one has told me this, I would ask if they drink urine to make urine...

Not to invite the comparison but holy moly.

How about tears to make tears? Bonus points for getting someone to drink saltwater.


----------



## Aubergine68

My biggest jaw dropper ever was from the parent of a toddler I was babysitting. My son was also a toddler, in a screeching phase. She suggested that I slap him lightly( "lightly" making it ok, I guess














in the mouth whenever he made a loud noise. That's what she did with her son and if he got out of line I could slap him, too if I wanted.

I said that it was against the law for me to hit a child in my care (it is, too, in Canada, not sure about the States)....


----------



## the_lissa

Yes. It is also illegal to hit a child in the face, even if you are the parent. It is only legal to hit a child between the ages of 2 and 12 with an open hand on the bum.


----------



## bluehairedwoman

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bigeyes* 
Google toxic perfumes. There are plenty of valid reasons to keep that poisonous junk away from _everybody._ You can print out reams of information to hand them if they argue.









i did that two weeks ago and it definitely helped! the last time they hung out with DD they told me that they even showered before coming over! LOL i have them scared that i'm going to take away their baby privileges. i keep asking them why they have to wear so much perfume/cologne in the first place. their reply? so they will smell good.







i told them, if they practice good personal hygiene there's no reason to bathe in perfume. they don't get it. they couldn't believe that i never wear perfume.

the real zinger was that one of the articles i presented to them linked ingredients in perfumes to infertility. my family is very sensitive to this issues due to my struggles conceiving, so i knew that that would make them understand how very serious this can be. i know that they wouldn't want my DD to go through the same thing when she's older.


----------



## Magali

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ernalala* 
Oh but my kids learn to be very inventive and confident independent creatures exactly by being unconditionally allowed to be attached to their mother and father, and therefore get the complete trust and confidence they need to gradually explore the world by themselves. We never have babysits, we take them everywhere with us (which is not always easy, but it is what we want). Wanting to be with mom or dad all or most of the time is a natural thing but it does not have the consequence that a child will have issues with exploring his/her surroundings, or will have seperation anxiety because of that, I am strongly convinced of the opposite. And a lot is in a child's character too.
So I do not tend to stress on my acquiring independency for my children, since I believe it is a natural process just as toilet learning and such.
And apparently people who see this differently like to give remarks about that .

Now if only I could have said it that well. Thanks


----------



## Jesskathand

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pear-shaped* 

When I was pregnant, she told me to scratch my butt whenever I had a craving. (Many older Italians are superstitious that if you don't satisfy a craving while pregnant your baby will have a birthmark somehow related to what you didn't eat. I guess the butt scratching is an antidote.)

l


I first read that as "Whenever you get a craving for scratching your butt, go for it! No matter where you are!

LOL


----------



## veganone

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bluehairedwoman* 
i did that two weeks ago and it definitely helped! the last time they hung out with DD they told me that they even showered before coming over! LOL i have them scared that i'm going to take away their baby privileges. i keep asking them why they have to wear so much perfume/cologne in the first place. their reply? so they will smell good.







i told them, if they practice good personal hygiene there's no reason to bathe in perfume. they don't get it. they couldn't believe that i never wear perfume.

People who wear a lot of perfume or smoke get desensitized to it and truly don't smell it until it's overpowering to everyone else. Blech! Glad you got them to back off.


----------



## nolonger

This has more to do with SAHMing than parenting in general, but my father sent ds1 an email that said (and I paraphrase to avoid being a UAV):

"We don't know for sure what is wrong with your mother that she isn't smart enough to know that most men have to have working wives in this day and age, so no matter what the wives' druthers may be, the children have to go to day care and public school while the wives are at work. Even doctors, who could afford to have wives that don't work if they really wanted them, usually prefer to have boats or vacation homes so they have working wives too."

I had been divorced for over ten years when he said it and my ex hadn't paid a dime of child support in at least five. I worked nights so that I could homeschool ds during the day and he could socialize with his public school friends after traditiional "school hours".

I'm sorry that wasn't good enough for my parents but I still don't hate myself and instead of commiting suicide, I had another baby and am positively THRILLED that he is a boy and that he loves going to work with me.









My parents have not been informed of his existence and that is their loss.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *noordinaryspider* 
This has more to do with SAHMing than parenting in general, but my father sent ds1 an email that said (and I paraphrase to avoid being a UAV):

"We don't know for sure what is wrong with your mother that she isn't smart enough to know that most men have to have working wives in this day and age, so no matter what the wives' druthers may be, the children have to go to day care and public school while the wives are at work. Even doctors, who could afford to have wives that don't work if they really wanted them, usually prefer to have boats or vacation homes so they have working wives too."

I had been divorced for over ten years when he said it and my ex hadn't paid a dime of child support in at least five. I worked nights so that I could homeschool ds during the day and he could socialize with his public school friends after traditiional "school hours".









: Wow your dad must be incredibly against homeschooling to have had such a total disconnect from reality.


----------



## smeisnotapirate

Just yesterday, I got this from a student's mother - a nurse. We were talking about breastfeeding and I mentioned that my goal is 2 years, per the WHO, but I'll nurse him as long as he needs.

"Be careful. My doctor made me stop at a year and a half. He says that after a year and a half, it gets difficult to wean them, so to give them a bottle starting at a year and then a cup afterwards. Besides, at that age they only need solids and juice anyways."

Yeeeeeeeeeeek.


----------



## bigeyes

Quote:


Originally Posted by *noordinaryspider* 
My parents have not been informed of his existence and that is their loss.

Holy guacamole that was a lotta ugly, paraphrased or not. I don't blame you.


----------



## caitryn

I've gotten the whole "if you hold him too much, you'll spoil him" and "holding him too much will make him sore." Whatever. My mom held me 24/7 and I wasn't spoiled (from that) or sore all the time.

My MIL wanted daily visits with DS. These started within an hour of bringing him home from the hospital. After about a week and a half to two weeks, my DH put his foot down and told her we were hermits and didn't need all the visits. We were still getting used to having him here and couldn't do that if she was always around.

MIL also wants to babysit him. She has made one too many comments that have made DH and I decide not to let that happen until he's at least 4 years old and can make verbal requests/demands in English. For one, I made a comment when DS was around 2 weeks old about being a walking snack bar. She told me to just put him down and let him cry until "feeding time" when he'd really be hungry. At least she's not against me breastfeeding. Later, she also informed me that I was going to regret holding him so much. Uh... (My own mom just tells me to enjoy it while I can because it won't last forever.)

On another note, a friend of mine is due any day now and is already getting tons of crud from other people about pregnancy and child rearing. The worst one I've heard yet came from her adoptive grandmother. Less than a week ago, the friend's son was kicking her, so she put her hand on her stomach because she ENJOYS the feeling. (What's wrong with that, right?) The GM informed her, "You better not be doing that in public. It's not like your the first woman to have ever gotten pregnant!") Um... what?


----------



## amberskyfire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *caitryn* 
Later, she also informed me that I was going to regret holding him so much. Uh...

Riiiiiiight. I'm sure you're going to be sitting around knitting stockings when you're old and gray, rocking back and forth in your chair and thinking to yourself "gee, I wish I hadn't held my baby so much when he/she was little. That was just the most AWFUL time of my life."







What is she thinking?!


----------



## capagrl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
Riiiiiiight. I'm sure you're going to be sitting around knitting stockings when you're old and gray, rocking back and forth in your chair and thinking to yourself "gee, I wish I hadn't held my baby so much when he/she was little. That was just the most AWFUL time of my life."







What is she thinking?!

Oh my gosh, I am soooo glad I didn't have a drink in my mouth when I read this, amberskyfire!! I laughed so hard I still have tears in my eyes.

Why, oh why, can others not share this perspective and realize babyhood, childhood, youth in general should be relished and held onto as dearly as possible? The rush to make our little ones separate is so heartbreaking. Bleh. I've gotta get off the puter and go put my 9 year old on my lap while he still fits


----------



## BarefootScientist

Quote:


Originally Posted by *the_lissa* 
Yes. It is also illegal to hit a child in the face, even if you are the parent. It is only legal to hit a child between the ages of 2 and 12 with an open hand on the bum.

Really?? Do you have a source you can give me? Not trying to be snarky, just honestly curious. I went to a parenting seminar where they advocated slapping kids on the hands as early as 3 months (!!) and using a paddle or wooden spoon on older kids. Is that actually illegal then?

Maybe that ranks up there with some of my worst parenting advice too







: so I'm not OT.


----------



## User101

Lissa is in Canada.


----------



## BarefootScientist

Ohhhh I didn't catch that she was in Canada...

darn. lol


----------



## porenn

The day I was told I risked out of having my baby at the birth center and would be attended at the hospital instead, my midwife told me (while I was sobbing on the couch in the waiting room) "Well, this is your first lesson as a parent- you don't always get what you want" as she left to get her lunch.

I like to think she meant well, but I was pretty offended at the time.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *porenn* 
The day I was told I risked out of having my baby at the birth center and would be attended at the hospital instead, my midwife told me (while I was sobbing on the couch in the waiting room) "Well, this is your first lesson as a parent- you don't always get what you want" as she left to get her lunch.

I like to think she meant well, but I was pretty offended at the time.

Please tell me that despite being totally dismissive of your feelings, she was a good midwife. To me a person who can say things like "all that matters is a healthy mom and healthy baby" isn't capable of being really supportive of a birthing mother.


----------



## minkajane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BarefootScientist* 
Really?? Do you have a source you can give me? Not trying to be snarky, just honestly curious. I went to a parenting seminar where they advocated slapping kids on the hands as early as 3 months (!!) and using a paddle or wooden spoon on older kids. Is that actually illegal then?

Did they use "To Train Up a Child"? Or was it "Growing Kids God's Way"? *shudder*


----------



## strmis

"at six months she can get her first flu shot"

...um.. no thanks


----------



## russsk

I was getting disappointed because in 8 months I've had very few of these stories, but I just got a great one!

After DS was born, I arranged to work a reduced schedule from home. One of my coworkers was going on vacation last week, however, and I had to do something for her that had to be done in the office. Was going to take about 3 hours. So I'm in the office, and the HR lady came over to ask me about DS. Her first question was "Where is he right now?" DH took the day off and drove with me to the town where my office is (about 30 min from home) to hang out with DH. She says: "Oh, that's good, because you know he's too young to leave him at home alone." You think???


----------



## BarefootScientist

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
Did they use "To Train Up a Child"? Or was it "Growing Kids God's Way"? *shudder*

No, neither of those. It was just some people from a church. They have something like 7 kids under 12 I think...so that makes them experts. No, I'm not being fair. They say they rely on the Bible to tell them how to parent. They don't claim to be experts.


----------



## veganone

russsk - that's awesome.

MIL scolded DH the other day because DD wasn't wearing a sweater. She lives 5,000 miles away and saw her on webcam. It was in the mid-80s outside. ????????


----------



## amberskyfire

My FIL said something to me on the phone a week ago that made me laugh out loud. My DH had strep and when my FIL found out, he scolded me to "keep the baby away from DH."

We live in an efficiency and cosleep. How exactly am I supposed to do that?
















I promised not to let him blow his nose on the baby. For the record, neither she nor I got sick.


----------



## Nautical

Ugh, the comments about cloth diapering and "we'll see how long that lasts..." (of course these are comments from people who know nothing about CD or have no children)

My Dh's favorite response is: "It will at least need to last until our money tree takes root or until we stop caring about the environment."







:


----------



## TopHat

The whole, "We'll see how long that lasts..." thing! ugh.

It all started with the natural birth... "we'll see how long that lasts before you get your epidural." It lasted 44 hours, thank you, and then the baby was born.

Breastfeeding, "we'll see how long that lasts before you put cereal in their milk to get them to sleep..." Practically a direct quote from my dad- my mom BFed me for 3 weeks and then they gave me rice cereal in formula to help me sleep. I was the only one she even tried BFing. My DD will be 7 months next week and she's cereal-free.

Cloth diapering- I like the "lasts until our money tree takes root" hahaha

Co-sleeping- "we'll see how long that lasts- you won't be able to get any sleep." Well, we have a studio so we have no choice but to co-sleep.







Still keeping it up!


----------



## kriket

I asked my mom yesterday if she thought I was insane for wanting to CD. (she CDed me until the service went under)

mom: No, why are 'people' saying things?
me: they say it will be messy and won't last, I will buy disposables eventually
Mom: um, babies will poop and be messy no matter what, and have these people met you? No one has been able to tell you what to do since you were 4.








my mama knows best

I've also was told that I should reconsider having children because I don't like "baby stuff" like baby loony toons, or those tiny jars of food, and because I am delusional to assume that I can breastfeed.

Too late.


----------



## Hippie Mama in MI

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ramlita* 
"You have to drink milk to make milk." I can't _believe_ that one is still around.

And to make poop... ???????


----------



## riverside knitter

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hippie mama in mi* 
and to make poop... ???????

bwahahaha!!!!!!!!


----------



## llamalluv

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hippie Mama in MI* 
And to make poop... ???????


----------



## llamalluv

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kriket* 
I asked my mom yesterday if she thought I was insane for wanting to CD. (she CDed me until the service went under)

mom: No, why are 'people' saying things?
me: they say it will be messy and won't last, I will buy disposables eventually
Mom: um, babies will poop and be messy no matter what, and have these people met you? No one has been able to tell you what to do since you were 4.








my mama knows best

I've also was told that I should reconsider having children because I don't like "baby stuff" like baby loony toons, or those tiny jars of food, and because I am delusional to assume that I can breastfeed.

Too late.

I don't like them, either. But I wonder if there were no fit mothers before the days of cartoons?!


----------



## ramlita

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hippie Mama in MI* 
And to make poop... ???????


----------



## ms.shell

when ds was a little baby, my MIL kept recommending that i dose him with tylenol at night to "help him relax and sleep better." she was recommending this as part of a nightly routine not because he was sick. heck,- not that it would matter if he wasnt, but- he was a super chill laid back baby and didnt have any trouble going to sleep. apparently she thought it was trouble to have to put him down myself or something. instead of nursing him down peacefully and happily, she was recomending drugging him and then depositing him in a crib down the hall and walking away. apparently the tylenol was to keep him from crying too hard while he was all alone.
geez. no thanks.
i must say that i really loved my m-i-l and she was a great lady. she just had this weird idea that she believed was a good one.


----------



## veganone

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ramlita* 
"You have to drink milk to make milk." I can't _believe_ that one is still around.

Cows don't drink milk. Or at least not adult cows. You know, the ones that make milk...


----------



## ramlita

Yeah, I guess the closest thing that would be _right_ would be:

You have to be a mammal to make milk.


----------



## In Exile

Yesterday I got YELLED at at a Birthday Party. My neighbor's daughter was turning 3 and we got an invite. The Grandma was there also.

At some point (while I am trying to entertain a hungry toddler-no other food than birthday cake there) the topic of nursing/breastfeeding comes up. The Grandmother than proceeds to ask me if he is "still doing it". At that point I usually ramble of his second nursing strike-which usually prompts people to look at me as if I have 3 heads. I don't say, I weaned him, I don't say he weaned himself- I say, we had nursing strike unfortunately ended our nursing, despite every attempt of help with LCs etc. If I mention he was 14 months old they think I a weirdo for even mentioning it, because that's obviously already a freakshow to them.

Than the grandmother tells me about her MUCH younger sister who has a three year old that's *still* nursing. I smile and nod just say, good for them.
The Grandmother gets pretty mad at that point (at her sister) and keeps saying "he's three". I said "oh, that's okay you know"

Suddenly Grandma freaks out and YELLS at me "NOOOO! It's not okay! He sleeps in their bed and the husband is not happy".

They woman actually yells at me for defending HER sister for nursing a 3 year old and cosleeping. I feel awful for her sister who has a sibling that berates her in her absence- and I get yelled at for saying it's okay. After she screamed at me I only managed to say "I am sure the husband would be a lot unhappier if HE had to take care of him all night long".

What a freak show. I would be freakin livid if my sibling was running around telling other people my husband "isn't gettin' any"-whose business is it how long you nurse and where your child sleeps? I feel bad for that woman having a husband that complains to his MIL and a sister that talks like that about her sibling.

Long story but it killed my hole saturday night for me, I was pretty mad for getting blasted for just politely saying it's okay to nurse however long. And this was not even MY kiddo-or my sister.


----------



## frontierpsych

You know, sometimes the husband isn't happy with cosleeping, but I think more often people ASSUME the husband is unhappy with it, lol! It can be like "Yeah, we cosleep" and some one will turn it around and tell everyone "She cosleeps-- her husband is just MISERABLE!"


----------



## In Exile

Yes, that's what bugs me about it. It's the "wife's duty" to be "available" at every second-because you know as a rule co-sleeping families NEVER have more than one child.









And yes, not every man is happy about it- but I would sort of expect my sister and husband not to run around and tell everyone about my sex life.

I was upset because that woman yelled at ME in addition to that stuff. Gosh, that was a weird situation. It's the birthday party for her grandchild and she blasts guests that defend her sister....


----------



## Lady Lilya

Yeah, a pedi told me that co-sleeping is how only-children happen.


----------



## KristyDi

Yea co-sleeping aside, my DH sure as heck would not be getting any if he was complaining about our sex life to his mom or sister or pretty much anyone in either of our families.


----------



## User101

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KristyDi* 
Yea co-sleeping aside, my DH sure as heck would not be getting any if he was complaining about our sex life to his mom or sister or pretty much anyone in either of our families.











As far as the "only-kid" thing, we have four, and co-sleep.









Whenever people bring it up, I look mournful and say I feel sorry for people who are so unimaginative that they can only think of doing it in a bed.


----------



## In Exile

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KristyDi* 
Yea co-sleeping aside, my DH sure as heck would not be getting any if he was complaining about our sex life to his mom or sister or pretty much anyone in either of our families.

Gosh, now I am shuddering....Can you imagine complaining to your MIL oder SIL about your sex life? Yikes, I think a Dentist's appt. is more fun that that thought.

And "yeah that" about the "how to make sure he won't be getting any"...haha.


----------



## diamond lil

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
Whenever people bring it up, I look mournful and say I feel sorry for people who are so unimaginative that they can only think of doing it in a bed.









LOVE IT!!!!


----------



## 1littlebit

DP gets upset about co sleeping sometimes... but only b/c DS takes up a tremendous amt of space lol. he sleeps in between us and lays horizontally on our queen size bed. I tell him he is more then welcome to but ds to bed in his crib if he wants... he gets over it real quick









ill try to make this short...its a convo i had recently with a friend about spanking. he was arguing that there are sometimes where it is appropriate or necessary i completely disagree. he was spanked growing up (i've known him for awhile his relationship with his parents is enough evidence that spanking is a bad idea)

he said his parents told him not to go outside alone at night or he would get lost
he went outside alone one night and didnt get lost so he kept going out at night
on the fourth night he went out alone and got lost
he wondered for hours and was terrified .. he had no idea how to get home
eventually his parents and the neighbors found him
he got a spanking for this

me- did you ever go out again?
him-nope not after that i learned
me- when did you learn?
him-probably sometime during the spanking
me- you were terrified and lost and would have gone out again
him- no my parents were right it was horrible i would never have done it again
me- and you learned that while you were lost?
him- yes
me- what was the point of the spanking then?
him-









now he he's a big non spanking advocate too!!! lol


----------



## smeisnotapirate

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
Whenever people bring it up, I look mournful and say I feel sorry for people who are so unimaginative that they can only think of doing it in a bed.









MIL: Well, do you two not.............. you know..................... do that any more?
Me: (knowing exactly what she means) Do what?
MIL: You know........... be intimate.
Me: (loudly) Of COURSE we do! Why would you think we don't?
MIL: Well... if you sleep with the baby..........
Me: What does the baby have to do with it?
MIL: (shocked) You.... in the bed with the baby???
Me: In the bed? Hm.... I don't think we thought of that one yet. I guess we'll try that next. Good idea!










My poor MIL.


----------



## ramlita




----------



## aurora_skys

...whats wrong with in the bed with the baby anyways? of course mine is only a month old but its not like he knows whats going on...


----------



## chipper26

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 







drop: That's horrible!
It hurts when I nurse, too (she latches properly, I'm just sensitive and it's still new to me) but it doesn't hurt NEARLY as bad as the lack of sleep would if I had to get up several times in the middle of the night to mix and heat formula in a bottle while my infant screams bloody murder or to have to wash those darn bottles and lug them around with me everywhere when I want to leave the house.







:

I think if women were told what a hassle bottle feeding was, they might just opt to breastfeed instead if they are able to do so. I understand not being able to for different reasons, but if you CAN do it, jeez! Why make it harder on yourself?

I had to pump for the first month an the bottle thing drove me crazy. Our water bill went up b/c we ran the dishwasher so much. Also, walking downstairs and heating a bottle - what a pain.


----------



## smeisnotapirate

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aurora_skys* 
...whats wrong with in the bed with the baby anyways? of course mine is only a month old but its not like he knows whats going on...









That's what my DH said.







: Different strokes for different folks, I suppose.


----------



## frontierpsych

That reminds me of the quote from Family guy, Peter (the dad is trying to get his wife to have sex with him when Stewie (the baby) runs into the room, and Peter says "Relax Lois, he'll just think I'm hurting you."

Lol of course, you'd probably have to watch the show to find that funny.

------

We have DS in a cosleeper (we have just a full size bed) but we usually end up bringing him into bed with us in the morning. Not because he starts fussing or anything we just like it that way.


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## sapphire_chan

There was a thread in TAO once about waitstaff offering menus to tiny babies and not getting menus for toddlers and all sort of confusion. Last night we encountered a host who handled it perfectly.

As I turn a bit and he can see Lina in the pouch, "Oh, you're actually 2 and a half. (pause) Um, I don't have a baby myself, do you need a kids' menu?"

He then also asked if we wanted a table so I could move the chair back and have room for her, and when we said a booth was fine, he moved the table in the booth over a few inches.

Superb service and this was at 9:30 on a day when they closed at 10.


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## ~Boudicca~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 









As far as the "only-kid" thing, we have four, and co-sleep.









Whenever people bring it up, I look mournful and say I feel sorry for people who are so unimaginative that they can only think of doing it in a bed.









You know, my mom is pretty perplexed by the whole cosleeping thing. Yesterday, she said, "But what about your sex life? You can't have sex if the baby is there with you!"

So I said, "Well, that is what the rest of the house is for! And the deck and the car!"

I am sure she will never bring up the subject again.


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## User101

That's kind of like when I got pregnant with my fourth and my grandma said "Don't you know what causes that?" so I explained that I did... in explicit detail.


----------



## Harmony96

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 







That's kind of like when I got pregnant with my fourth and my grandma said "Don't you know what causes that?" so I explained that I did... in explicit detail.









haha.

I got nervous when I saw you post here, thinking that you were going to shut us down and make us start a new one again.


----------



## User101

Nope, not yet.


----------



## cmhotzler

Not really the thread here...but, I have a book published in around 1920ish (not gonna dig it out now to check) from my grandma's estate...you should read about the REALLY F$%^ up stuff they said!! Really, really, really F(**( up stuff. It's a wonder that any of our ancestors lived past one at all! One of the things I remember is...a baby under 1 yr. should have no stimulation at all...no talking, rocking(as it was "injureous" to mother and baby) or any attention at all-otherwise they would develop a "nervous" personality". I really got to dig that book back out and read it again for a good laugh! Another thing I remember, it said that a child under 7 yrs.old should never have food that is not soft and mashed..and you should clean a baby girl with a solution of boric acid, and if her discharge gets worse, then up the amount of boric acid in the solution....gotta go dig out that book now...


----------



## nolonger

My Gran would have had her baby about fifteen years after that book was published, but she received much the same advice. She could tell stories that would break your heart about crying on one side of a door while her precious baby cried on the other and being terrified that she would in some way damage him by picking him up before the scheduled feeding time.

She was the greatest supporter of AP parenting in my entire family by the time she became a great-grandmother. I will never forget her advice to always trust my own instincts no matter what the so-called "experts" told me to do.

What a remarkable lady to recognize her mistakes as mistakes.


----------



## CorasMama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Harmony96* 
haha.

I got nervous when I saw you post here, thinking that you were going to shut us down and make us start a new one again.









Haha! I had a similar nervousness, but I thought it was going to be because of discussing _how_ we get our babies.


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## Jezzy

We were visiting friends when my dd started grinding her teeth (she just got her top two in) . The friend said to me ohhhhh you got to get her to stop that now! If you don't she will do it forever. I said ah ha and how do I get it across to a 9 mo that she shouldn't be grinding her teeth? She told me when she grinds her teeth I have to slap her mouth and tell her NO!







Uhhh ya thanks for the advice!


----------



## Harmony96

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cmhotzler* 
Not really the thread here...but, I have a book published in around 1920ish (not gonna dig it out now to check) from my grandma's estate...you should read about the REALLY F$%^ up stuff they said!! Really, really, really F(**( up stuff. It's a wonder that any of our ancestors lived past one at all! One of the things I remember is...a baby under 1 yr. should have no stimulation at all...no talking, rocking(as it was "injureous" to mother and baby) or any attention at all-otherwise they would develop a "nervous" personality". I really got to dig that book back out and read it again for a good laugh! Another thing I remember, it said that a child under 7 yrs.old should never have food that is not soft and mashed..and you should clean a baby girl with a solution of boric acid, and if her discharge gets worse, then up the amount of boric acid in the solution....gotta go dig out that book now...

Wow, I'd like to hear some of the other "jewels" from that book. And what's funny, is the advice was probably contrary to a couple of generations prior to THAT. It's like every couple of generations, there is something new and better for raising children. lol


----------



## Megamus

Oh! Oh! I wonder if it's a version of the one I just read... The one I found was published in 1894 ("The Care and Feeding of Children" by L. Emmett Holt, M.D.), and has been cited as the source of the term CIO.

Here are my favourite bits:
An infant's abdomen "should be supported by a broad flannel band" so as "to prevent rupture" (flannel for the first 4 months followed by a knitted band for the first year)

In the first three days of like children should only be nursed 4 or 5 times a day "since there is only a very little milk secreted at this point"

A "well baby" may go without food from 9pm to 6 or 7 am "usually at 4 months, and always at 5 or 6 months"

"Under no circumstances" should a child sleep in the same bed with its mother/nurse.

Rocking is "by no means necessary. It is a habit very easily acquired, but hard to break, and a very useless and sometimes injurious one."

"In the newly born infant the cry expands the lungs, and it is necessary that it should be repeated for a few minutes every day to keep them well expanded...this is necessary for health. It is the baby's exercise."

An infant that "cries from temper or to be indulged...should simply be allowed to cry it out. A second struggle is rarely necessary."

Playing with babies may begin "never until 4 months and better not until 6 months. The less of it at any time the better for the infant."

This book was considered the childcare bible for quite a long time (I've been doing some research on this, and they were referencing it in the 20's and beyond -and even where they don't directly mention it they give pretty much the exact same advice). I recently came across a lovely (HA!) book called "On the Training of Parents" that basically says that playing with a baby (or cuddling it in any way) and comforting it when it was crying was actually a selfish action on the part of the mother because it made her feel better and but did a disservice to her child.

After looking at this stuff I'm not surprised that we often have to explain/justify our parenting techniques to older generations! It's frightening (OK, and fascinating) to read the advice they were given!


----------



## sapphire_chan

Didn't they also recommend really tight swaddling at that time so kids would grow up with "straight limbs"? Even in books from the 50's there're things like "Mrs. Jones was glad Tom had a friend like Jim, who was so tall and straight."


----------



## ramlita




----------



## ~Boudicca~

I feel bad for the babies that had that advice inflicted on them. And the moms who had to deny their own instincts in the process.


----------



## tinyblackdot

That i need to start letting go, and how ridiculous it is that i cried when i brought my dd to her first and second day of preschool/daycare......and she isn't even 2 yet!!!!!







:


----------



## 1littlebit

From the mother who bottle feeds, CIO, and has her daughter spend 4 nights a week at her mothers - 'i don't read books on parenting i use my instincts" in response to me saying studies have shown CIO is not actually good for a child.

another mother i was talking to laughed out loud and snorted.. when i said CIO is not good for babies (she said it was good for the lungs too.. where the heck do people get this junk) and i said no many doctors don't reccomend it. and she said yeah the same ones who tell you not to discipline your kids. wth.

she asked how i intend to discipline and i said respectfully and non violently. she laughed again and said 'yeah let me know how that works' and then told me when her (18 mos old) ds hits she hits him back. when he bites she bites him back.







i havent talked to her since then b/c i have no idea what to say.

(what? im 21 apparently these ones are just trying to reinforce the stereotype that young people shouldn't have babies. im younger then them and their doing a good job convincing me!!








jk)

o and this one i really dont get. i have heard this from atleast 2 people. 'i don't believe in yelling or shaming children but i will spank them if they deserve it!' wtf??? i think a spanking is pretty dang shameful... esp. when they say the spanking wont be hard enough to hurt... um yeah thats b/c it is supposed to shame them you looney tunes.


----------



## Jannah6

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lady Lilya* 
Yeah, a pedi told me that co-sleeping is how only-children happen.

He certainly didn't meet me


----------



## Shenjall

I'm happy to report the big poster at our local childrens hospital stating, "biting a child back is *child abuse*."
At least someone is trying to get the message across that its not an effective way to "discipline".

ETA: Besides all the members here! lol


----------



## Ellp

My MIL grew up in the era of leaving babies alone to CIO and non-stimulation. With my first Dd, when she was about 4 days old MIL recommended to Dh to let Dd cry it out at night so that she would sleep the night through and not eat. She said it would only take a week or so and that we would have to be strong not to give in.

Dh was way more polite than I would've been...

When Dd was 7mo, MIL insisted that I drive her to the mall in the pouring rain during Dd's nap time. Dd howled the whole way there and MIL told me that Dd was already trying to manipulate me and get her own way. I told her that that would be a miracle since Dd only just discovered that she has limbs.

Not surprisingly MIL is probably the coldest person I've ever met. She and FIL would come over (6hr trip) for a visit, and while FIL would be rolling on the floor playing with the kids, MIL prefers doing the crossword puzzle in our local newspaper!


----------



## yasinsmama

We eat organic as much as we can, so naturally, my LO's food will be organic. He is 6 1/2 months, and we are just playing around with solids now. I told my mom I had to leave her house b/c it was getting late and I needed to stop by whole foods. She asked me what I was going to buy, and I said I needed a sweet potato for the baby. She said, "just get it from wal-mart". I said "wal mart doesn't have organic produce (our doesn't)". She said "you know, they could be lying. How do you really know its organic".








So I said i'd rather take my chances.
Also, the day he turned 6 months (actually, way before that), mom and sister were ready to put any and everything in that boys mouth!!!! I told them no, we will introduce foods one at a time, and not just ANY foods. They want me to do everything the way they did it, well, b/c they did it. I don't want to do that.


----------



## yasinsmama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Aubergine68* 
My biggest jaw dropper ever was from the parent of a toddler I was babysitting. My son was also a toddler, in a screeching phase. She suggested that I slap him lightly( "lightly" making it ok, I guess














in the mouth whenever he made a loud noise. That's what she did with her son and if he got out of line I could slap him, too if I wanted.

I said that it was against the law for me to hit a child in my care (it is, too, in Canada, not sure about the States)....

I would have asked her if I could slap her _lightly_ in the face if SHE made a noise I didn't like.


----------



## yasinsmama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *In Exile* 
Yesterday I got YELLED at at a Birthday Party. My neighbor's daughter was turning 3 and we got an invite. The Grandma was there also.

At some point (while I am trying to entertain a hungry toddler-no other food than birthday cake there) the topic of nursing/breastfeeding comes up. The Grandmother than proceeds to ask me if he is "still doing it". At that point I usually ramble of his second nursing strike-which usually prompts people to look at me as if I have 3 heads. I don't say, I weaned him, I don't say he weaned himself- I say, we had nursing strike unfortunately ended our nursing, despite every attempt of help with LCs etc. If I mention he was 14 months old they think I a weirdo for even mentioning it, because that's obviously already a freakshow to them.

Than the grandmother tells me about her MUCH younger sister who has a three year old that's *still* nursing. I smile and nod just say, good for them.
The Grandmother gets pretty mad at that point (at her sister) and keeps saying "he's three". I said "oh, that's okay you know"

Suddenly Grandma freaks out and YELLS at me "NOOOO! It's not okay! He sleeps in their bed and the husband is not happy".

They woman actually yells at me for defending HER sister for nursing a 3 year old and cosleeping. I feel awful for her sister who has a sibling that berates her in her absence- and I get yelled at for saying it's okay. After she screamed at me I only managed to say "I am sure the husband would be a lot unhappier if HE had to take care of him all night long".

What a freak show. I would be freakin livid if my sibling was running around telling other people my husband "isn't gettin' any"-whose business is it how long you nurse and where your child sleeps? I feel bad for that woman having a husband that complains to his MIL and a sister that talks like that about her sibling.

Long story but it killed my hole saturday night for me, I was pretty mad for getting blasted for just politely saying it's okay to nurse however long. And this was not even MY kiddo-or my sister.


DH loves co-sleeping. Our LO rolls over to me to nurse, then rolls over to DH to be loved on. They love it! There is no law that says you have to do the deed ONLY in your bed. Sheesh.


----------



## Aubergine68

Quote:


Originally Posted by *yaseensmommy* 
I would have asked her if I could slap her _lightly_ in the face if SHE made a noise I didn't like.


----------



## 1littlebit

lmao.. slap him lightly? seriously? what in world is wrong with people?

and for the solids.. why is that as soon as people know your LO is eating some solids they assume he can have anything? we were at a birthday party yesterday and everyone tried to feed DS cake 'because he can have solids now' (he's 9 mos old so yes he can have solids not freaking cakE!!!!) and of course he would try and eat whatever people were holding.. like crawl up to the and reach... and they ALL said "but he wants it"

you know what? he wants everything you have. offer him Carrots, cookies, heroine, and dynamite. I'll bet my right arm he wants to eat every single one of them!!!


----------



## Frisha

Bump


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## tjjazzy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NewMama2007* 
This bothers me soooo much! Every trait is something that can be explained away by something on DH's side. I have bright blue eyes, so does DD, but she got them from DH's second cousin. My biological father has red hair, but she gets it from some distant uncle.







:







:







:

I feel like I was just the oven for this child that belongs to DH's side 100 percent!

that's how i feel too! our first DOES look like daddy. i'm happy to say so. but our second looks like me!! at best, a mix of both of us. but no no. he looks like his fricking cousin apparently. b/c he has barely any hair on top. um. i was bald til i was over 1!!!! but there's no arguing, even though i showed her my baby picture. blah. it's not even worth it to bother so i just ignore her. everyone else sees it but she refuses.







:


----------



## Mountaingirl79

This thread reminded me of an old one I had forgotten.
My x MIL bought my firstborn a dog toy as a teething toy when he was a baby. ( It was rubber and indestructible, and cute, she thought.) I was like " No thanks!" She would also dig out xdh's old teethig rings, all old and yellow and try to give them to DS#1. One was so old and nasty it became my nemisis. I hid the thing one night when we were over, and I'll be damned, she found it the next day.







I think I eventually did away with it, it was so long ago I forget. lol
This tread is so funny, I'm glad I found it.







:


----------



## Mountaingirl79

I forgot to mention why the teething ring thing was so maddening. She refused to understand why I didn't want ds to have these "toys." she had saved for so long. She would sneak them out when I wasn't looking. Also, there was the 30 year old crib she had savedn and given to me for her first grandchild, complete with toxic paint, wide slats and cut outs. She meant well though.


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## Anna's Lovey

I told my mom that my daughter wouldn't go into her car seat or strollar or sit in her high chair for more than fifteen minutes and my mother said, "you just have to show her whose boss--you're the boss. " Argg. we do things differently these days mom. It's been three days since that comment and I'm still all worked up about it.


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## pear-shaped

This one makes me really angry and I hear it often. Lots of people tell me that my daughter will be closer to dh when she gets older because "girls are always closer to their fathers and boys are always closer to their mothers." It's a cultural thing here. I hate it because I feel that it discounts everything I do for dd (and I get very little help from dh!) I also hate it because it smacks of essentialism.


----------



## Mommy2Austin

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pear-shaped* 
This one makes me really angry and I hear it often. Lots of people tell me that my daughter will be closer to dh when she gets older because "girls are always closer to their fathers and boys are always closer to their mothers." It's a cultural thing here. I hate it because I feel that it discounts everything I do for dd (and I get very little help from dh!) I also hate it because it smacks of essentialism.

I must be an exception, because I'm very much a momma's girl 

Beyond that, it would gall me to have to hear that crud all the time.


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## lilbsmama

I'll be back!


----------



## Purple*Lotus

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
That made me laugh because every time I show people a pic of me, DS, and DF, they start talking about how DS looks like DF. I've been with DF for 10 months - no, my 3-year-old is not his! People are always SO shocked.

One of the kids at church looks exactly liker her mother. Same hair color, same eye color, same skin tone, same facial expressions. I mentioned how much they look alike and then found out they adopted her. Ooops! But really, she truly looks like them, you would never guess she was adopted.


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## Honey693

My grandmother absolutely hates how much I hold Ella and I get all sorts of parenting "gems" when we visit. The last time I was over there I made my brother go with so I wouldn't have to deal with it alone. Ella slept the whole time so I left her in her car seat b/c I was not about to wake a sleeping baby. Carseat = not holding so I wasn't prepared for the advice to kick in. I was still told several times that all my holding her is going to make her spine grow crooked and I need to put her down on the floor so she can stretch. Otherwise she's going to be a hunchback cripple. We called her hunchie the cripple child all day, terrible I know, but i had to laugh or lose it on an 81 year old woman) and now every time I call my brother he asks how his hunchbacked niece is.

*Other "gems"*

*From my gramma*
If I was watching her I'd just stick her in her crib and let her cry. (prompting my husband to say that's why you're never babysitting)

You need a monitor so you can hear her cry. (Didn't you just tell me to let her cry? So if I was following your advice why would I need a monitor?)

You should give her weak chamomile tea for her upset stomach. A whole bottle's worth. (Even after I told her that much water can cause kidney damage she tells me that every time).
*
From random relatives
*You have to put her down sometimes (No I don't.)

Don't come crying to me when she's still in your bed at 6 months (We cosleep. Considering I want her there at 6 months I don't think I'll be whining about it mom)

It's good for her to cry, it makes her lungs strong (Do you not hear the shrieks she's making? I think her lungs are strong enough. Plus that's just stupid)

Oh, she's just faking that cry. (Uh, she's 3 months old and shuts up when I stick a boob in her mouth, I don't think she's faking anything)

Ohhh she's so tiny (No she's not, she's in the 75% for weight, height and head circumference)


----------



## greatful_isis

The funny things people say!! Or... kinda scary things they do/would do

My family was invited to spend Thanksgiving at a friends mothers house.
While we were there we spoke with another couple who had a DD as old as ours. We also have a baby who is just learning to roll over.
She told my DH...
" Is he rolling over yet?"
"Well he's just starting to.. "
Then she says, "Thats the best time to teach them the word NO.. Whenever he rolls over on his stomach, you roll him back and tell him, NO. After a few times he should get it. You gotta make sure they know your in charge".

My DH told me this later after they had left. I was speachless!!
I'm glad I didn't hear her say this because I really don't know how I would have responded.


----------



## Megamus

Quote:


Originally Posted by *greatful_isis* 
She told my DH...
" Is he rolling over yet?"
"Well he's just starting to.. "
Then she says, "Thats the best time to teach them the word NO.. Whenever he rolls over on his stomach, you roll him back and tell him, NO. After a few times he should get it. You gotta make sure they know your in charge".

Wow....that makes NO sense. Shouldn't you WANT him to roll over? I mean, isn't that a GOOD thing?


----------



## shelley4

Quote:


Originally Posted by *greatful_isis* 
She told my DH...
" Is he rolling over yet?"
"Well he's just starting to.. "
Then she says, "Thats the best time to teach them the word NO.. Whenever he rolls over on his stomach, you roll him back and tell him, NO. After a few times he should get it. You gotta make sure they know your in charge".

OMG! that is horrible! i would have been speechless if i heard this. i can't believe people actually think this way!!!!


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## sapphire_chan

Part of the fun of these threads is the comebacks so...

"Great idea! Obedience _is_ more important than normal development. Maybe my child will be smart like you if I do that?"


----------



## ThreeJane

When DD2 was born, I had to have a pediatrician there because she was a c-section.

We are non-vaxing; when I told the ped this, she said, very condescendingly, "Well, I'll give you one year, and after that, you need to _get on board_ with the schedule." (I had told her we delayed vaxing, that seems to get their ire up a little less than we are NON-vaxing)

I said, "Okay," very sweetly and have never been back to see her or anyone in her practice. The only time that child (now three) has seen the inside of a medical building is when she choked on a dime at age 2 and had to go to the ER.

This time around, I told them to just use whichever ped is on call and we have a great family doctor that we love. They also had a vax with HiB/non-vax with HiB form that you could fill out, that's a new one!


----------



## Down2Earth

From my step- mom I get all kinds of contradictory advice. For instance, sometimes she accuses me of over feeding my ebf baby. And then she questions weather I have enough milk.

I too have also gotten the fake crying advice. Really? A 2mo knows how to manipulate by fake crying? To what end? So I'll feed or change her? Isn't that what I'm suppose to do?


----------



## veganone

MIL adds another one to this thread...

She got into a heated argument with DH the other day that our 16-month old who is still bfing needs formula. Um, huh?! Even formula fed babies are off of formula by this age.


----------



## ernalala

wrong thread sry


----------



## AnnieMarie

My MIL cannot understand that we would actually choose to co-sleep, though I have tried to explain it to her in the past. The other day she told me that cousins of DH have put their baby in his own room from the begining and he has never run away...I was speechless, yes the reason I co-sleep with my 2yo and 6mo is so that they dont run away during the night


----------



## PatienceAndLove

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AnnieMarie* 
My MIL cannot understand that we would actually choose to co-sleep, though I have tried to explain it to her in the past. The other day she told me that cousins of DH have put their baby in his own room from the begining and he has never run away...I was speechless, yes the reason I co-sleep with my 2yo and 6mo is so that they dont run away during the night


















wow...

Well, I know that's why I have DD in my room! (kidding)


----------



## holothuroidea

I think I already posted this in one of these threads but I'll do it again because it is just so ridiculous.

My therapist told me to leave my then 2 month old on the bed surrounded with pillows so I could leave the house for an hour or two.

If it's not bad enough that she would give advice like that, she ACTUALLY DID THIS TO HER BABIES. I left that therapist faster than you can say "child abuse."


----------



## bigeyes




----------



## ~Boudicca~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *holothuroidea* 
I think I already posted this in one of these threads but I'll do it again because it is just so ridiculous.

My therapist told me to leave my then 2 month old on the bed surrounded with pillows so I could leave the house for an hour or two.

If it's not bad enough that she would give advice like that, she ACTUALLY DID THIS TO HER BABIES. I left that therapist faster than you can say "child abuse."

Holy crap!







: And the scary thing is that there are people that she is counseling that would actually take this advice!


----------



## ~Boudicca~

My mom told me that I should spank my then 10 month old. Sure mom.


----------



## lilbsmama

I live in rural NC, so everyone thinks they can chime with their 2cents when you're preggers. Where I worked, I came in contact with a lot of people everyday, so I got a lot of unwanted advice, but one lady takes my cake. She told me that baby formula is made from breastmilk, so if I want to have a life, don't bother using the girls! WTF??????


----------



## *Lilikins*

I got one for you ladies. When I had HORRIBLE nausea and vomiting in the 1st and 2nd trimester a coworker (who's never had kids BTW) came up to me and said, "I know exactly how you feel, I came down with food poisoning once." To which I replied "oh, cuz CLEARLY thats the same thing right?".

Another time a friend of mine said to me about the vomiting, "maybe your body is allergic to the baby and wants to get rid of it?" DEAD SERIOUS and told me to go to the doctor so they can prescribe something. Really? A magic pill to make my "problem" go away. THANKS.

When ever I tell people that I am chosing a birth center birth with a midwife vs a OB in hospital. One of the responses I got was "do they have special beds there?", I simply said "ummm, no. they actually make you squat by a tree on the front lawn." WTF?! Of course, its a BIRTH CENTER!!!!


----------



## Kappa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AnnieMarie* 
My MIL cannot understand that we would actually choose to co-sleep, though I have tried to explain it to her in the past. The other day she told me that cousins of DH have put their baby in his own room from the begining and *he has never run away*...I was speechless, yes the reason I co-sleep with my 2yo and 6mo is so that they dont run away during the night



















the funniest thing I've read ALL DAY!


----------



## minkajane




----------



## kriket

please, someones MIL has let out a gem since Jan!!

I know there was a women just the other day that told me when PG women have hiccups they are suffocating their unborn baby.

I had hiccups.

My baby's fine.


----------



## Shenjall

I guess this *sorta* counts as parenting stuff. Its certainly a gem from my mil....

My bil (dh's brother) is a bit of a...deadbeat dad. And a severe mama's boy to boot. (He's 44, divorced, lives in their basement, not b/c he has too, but b/c he's taken care of)
So, we go over to visit the IL one sunday afternoon and meet up with the other bil, his wife and their 2 kids. We ask, "hey, wheres bil?" Mil replies, "oh, he's sleeping. He's tired. He was taking care of ____ ALL day yesterday. Let him sleep".
Sheaw Right! While dh and other bil went to jump on his bed, sil let her have it, "Oh REALLY? He spends 12 hours parenting and he's tired? What about me and my 2 kids, 24-7? Or shenjall? with her 6? I dont seem to recall us sleeping..."
All mil kept saying was, "well, thats different".
Yeah. Sure it is. You keep on enabling.

ETA: She also went on and on one morning as we were out for breakfast about how "he does his own laundry". Well, whoop-dee-do. I replied, "Well I should certainly hope so! My 8yr old does his own laundry for crying out loud!" She didnt like that.


----------



## sunanthem

About a week ago I had a little run in with the cash register lady at our local handcrafts store. I went in to get some roving, and I had my 6 and 3 yr. old w/ me... I tried to pick out my stuff as quickly as I could, so they wouldn't get into touching the spinning and weaving machines that were set up. They quickly both found small measuring tapes for sewing and started measuring things while I gathered wool.

I must have been done in no more then ten minutes.

I brought my stuff up to the counter to pay, and she asked if I was getting the tape measures, I replied no. She came back with, but they've been pulling them out and stretching them...
I picked one up and pushed the button, and as it should, it snapped right back.
I said, there not broken, I dont see why we should have to buy them.

She repeated, "if you stretch them out too much, they will break."

I said, "Isn't what they are designed to do? If they break from being used, why would anyone buy them?"

She then said, "I just don't know why you would let your children touch them if you weren't planning on buying them."

I couldn't believe it. I was floored that since my children had just touched something in her store, she wanted us to buy them. I said again, I really dont think its fair that we have to buy them, since they are not broken. She was like, ok, well, you dont have to buy them... I was about to explode waiting for her to ring us up. I told her I was buying this wool to teach a class, and was going to send my students here, but I will think twice about it. I got the other tape from the other kid and put it on her counter and said, "Have a nice day!" And stormed out.

It just pissed me off how some folks view kids. I mean, why would she let adults look at and touch things in her store if they weren't planning on buying them??
Ugh.


----------



## Theoretica

OMG these are nuts!

Some people are amazing


----------



## User101

I know you all have been hanging in LWAB, but since this thread encompasses so much more than the infant years, I'm bumping you to the general parenting forum.


----------



## Seasons

HANDS DOWN THE STUPIDEST EVER:

"Children need fathers."










Sorry, not funny at all, but definitely the worst/dumbest thing anyone has ever said to me about parenting.


----------



## rubyjean24

lol i totally know how u feel..i hate it when family on my husbands side says my kid looks like my father in law..or he looks like his uncle..ect ect. i cannot stand that!!!


----------



## MusicianDad

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Seasons* 
HANDS DOWN THE STUPIDEST EVER:

"Children need fathers."










Sorry, not funny at all, but definitely the worst/dumbest thing anyone has ever said to me about parenting.

We hear "children need mothers" a lot too.


----------



## Seasons

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
We hear "children need mothers" a lot too.

I didn't mean to offend by exclusion - I agree that BOTH statements are offensive.

Ditto "children need both parents."







:


----------



## MusicianDad

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Seasons* 
I didn't mean to offend by exclusion - I agree that BOTH statements are offensive.

Ditto "children need both parents."







:

And ditto "children need married parents".

These people are so wrapped up in what's "right" they forget that it's the quality not the quantity that counts.


----------



## Belia

I was talking to my mom a week or so ago, and I forget what brought it on but she was going on and on about how one of her friend's grandkids is SO dependent on her mama.... that the LO cries when he's left with anyone but his mama, and only wants to be with his parents... and grandma (my mom's friend) can't really babysit... and on and on and on.

I'm half listening, thinking to myself "Yeah, when my kid is 4 or 5 I hope he feels safe and secure enough to be with other family members at least once in a while..."

Then she tells me who she's talking about, and the LO in question is SIX MONTHS OLD!!!!!

I was like, WTF?!?!?! Of course the baby wants to be with mama or daddy!!! He's a baby!!!!







:


----------



## LaurenB

There's a lady at my dh's work who ALWAYS wants to hold my dd when we visit. And every time she's surprised and offended when dd isn't interested in being touched by this practical stranger. Last week, while she was pouting about it, she accusingly asked me if I was still breastfeeding. I smiled and answered, yes I am. And she huffed that it was no wonder the baby wouldn't leave my arms.

What? Yeah, dd loves my breasts, but I think that's completely separate from her fear of desperate, baby-hungry strangers. Does she think formula-fed kids just happily go to anyone?


----------



## readytobedone

Quote:


Originally Posted by *holothuroidea* 
I think I already posted this in one of these threads but I'll do it again because it is just so ridiculous.

My therapist told me to leave my then 2 month old on the bed surrounded with pillows so I could leave the house for an hour or two.

If it's not bad enough that she would give advice like that, she ACTUALLY DID THIS TO HER BABIES. I left that therapist faster than you can say "child abuse."

sorry, i just read this. what the f****** hell????? that is the WORST thing i have ever heard a therapist say!


----------



## Theoretica

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
And ditto "children need married parents".

These people are so wrapped up in what's "right" they forget that it's the quality not the quantity that counts.

Well...if all parents were ALLOWED to get married that MIGHT be a different argument...maybe....a little...

but until then....


----------



## yasinsmama

I was at lunch with a friend last week. My ds is 9 1/2 months old, her dd is 1 months old.
I pulled out a small bowl of organic peas for him to feed himself.

*Friend:* You don't give him jarred food?

*Me:* No, I have made his food ever since he started eating food. I bought a couple of organic jars once for when we were traveling, just to keep him occupied if we stopped to eat.

*Friend*: Looks at her baby and says "well, you're not THAT spoiled"

Umm, since when is making your baby fresh food "spoiling" them?


----------



## Lisa1970

I was accused of spoiling my son for holding him as a newborn by my MIL. I was also told that the only reason anyone breastfeeds was to get the baby to pick the mom over others. My mother told me I was "infanticizing" for having my 12 month old use a car seat. A peditrician that I saw ONCE was in to Ezzo and spelled that [email protected] out to me and told me I need to be doing it.


----------



## PatienceAndLove

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lisa1970* 
I was accused of spoiling my son for holding him as a newborn by my MIL. I was also told that the only reason anyone breastfeeds was to get the baby to pick the mom over others. *My mother told me I was "infanticizing" for having my 12 month old use a car seat*. A peditrician that I saw ONCE was in to Ezzo and spelled that [email protected] out to me and told me I need to be doing it.

Um... safety?


----------



## mrsshunk

At a family function, I had my ds (6mos.) in a sling. He was all scrunched up but wide awake and quite content. My husband's aunt, who has 4 grown children of her own, asked me about half a dozen times, "oh he's all squished up is he okay?". I finally said, "Well he isn't crying or struggling, so he must be happy." Duh, babies let you know loud and clear when they don't like something.


----------



## holothuroidea

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Zannah* 
Took the baby to see the MIL for the first time last weekend. MIL was holding her for awhile but it was getting close to the time dd gets fussy for a nap. She was obviously unhappy with MIL holding her so I went to take her back and MIL turns away from me and says to me sternly "No!".

I swear I was practicing so much self control at that moment, I wanted to slap her. For someone to tell me no, when I'm trying to hold MY baby, just kills me. Especially since she was in the NICU for the first 16 days of her life. Some people just don't get it.

My DH did that to me (as a joke) and I FREAKED OUT!!! I took the baby from him, pushed him away and said, "DONT YOU EVER KEEP MY BABY AWAY FROM ME!"

The poor guy was so stunned. He thought he was making a cute joke. I don't want to know how I would respond if my MIL did that. I tolerate her saying "my baby my baby" because I don't know what it's like to be a grandmother, you know, I can understand that... but keeping the baby away from you!? I probably would have taken the baby and punched her right in the face.


----------



## katmann

My neighbor is the type who sort of looks out for everyone in the neighborhood (it's a rural area and she's been here the longest). She and her husband came to visit our newborn son when he was about 2 weeks old. She asked, "So what are you going to call him?" I said (and she already knew this) "His name's Elliot." She said, "Well yeah, but what are you going to call him?"

I asked her and her husband to wash their hands before visiting with the baby (as I had asked all 15 million guests that week), and they did, while explaining that it was good for babies to be exposed to lots of germs because it helps their immune systems. Yeah, I guess I should go dunk my newborn in the toilet a few times just for good measure.

She also told us that the way we were treating his umbilical cord was wrong (we did nothing, as recommended by every parenting authority I'm aware of). According to her daughter-in-law's (who has a 17 mo old) doctor, you're supposed to put gauze on it.

And, since her daughter in law breast fed and co-slept for a whole 5 weeks, that's good enough (a woman who is apparently quite poor at the moment and made the conscious decision to pay for formula rather than use free and healthy breastmilk). Oh, and she made a comment about having to do "all that washing" with cloth diapers. I was too brain dead to be snarky at that point, but I can't wait for more encounters!

one last thing - Long before the birth, when we told her we would be having a homebirth, her response was, "Well, don't call me!"


----------



## mrsshunk

Quote:


Originally Posted by *yasinsmama* 
I was at lunch with a friend last week. My ds is 9 1/2 months old, her dd is 1 months old.
I pulled out a small bowl of organic peas for him to feed himself.

*Friend:* You don't give him jarred food?

*Me:* No, I have made his food ever since he started eating food. I bought a couple of organic jars once for when we were traveling, just to keep him occupied if we stopped to eat.

*Friend*: Looks at her baby and says "well, you're not THAT spoiled"

Umm, since when is making your baby fresh food "spoiling" them?























I had the same comment about spoiling my boy. I always just feed him off of my own plate. He never accepted mushy baby food out of a jar so I never gave it to him after awhile. He wanted the same food he sees me eat, and honestly it's just the opposite of spoiling that I don't provide him with his own special food that the rest of the family can't have.


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pear-shaped* 
This one makes me really angry and I hear it often. Lots of people tell me that my daughter will be closer to dh when she gets older because "girls are always closer to their fathers and boys are always closer to their mothers." It's a cultural thing here. I hate it because I feel that it discounts everything I do for dd (and I get very little help from dh!) I also hate it because it smacks of essentialism.

I hate it when people say that too! Incidentally, I am a single mom







.

What was even worse is when I found out I was having a boy the second time. The ultra sound tech said: "You know how people say daughter are closer to fathers and sons to moms? Well, I don't think that is true at all. I prefer daughters."







:







:


----------



## momo7

Quote:


Originally Posted by *FREEmom1120* 
It's really weird but my MIL is the opposite. DD is the spitting image of dh, but she always says she looks like me. It's so strange because I thought she'd be all about saying she looked like dh no matter what.

I HATE when people say a baby looks like anyone other than the mother or father though.

Well at least she acknowledges that that your child looks like you. We were at a resturant and a daughter of some friends of ours who was our server said to me: "Wow, are you sure that is Rich's kid? I mean he doesn't look like either one of you."









Nice huh?


----------



## Super Glue Mommy

my mom and dad seem to think that spanking my son is all he needs - not a special diet, sensory input, etc... (as in, autism can be cured with spanking)


----------



## CAKJNH

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Super Glue Mommy* 
my mom and dad seem to think that spanking my son is all he needs - not a special diet, sensory input, etc... (as in, autism can be cured with spanking)

I've heard that about my autistic daughter before!







:

So what's the cure for them not being able to keep their comments to themselves about my children? A swift kick in the @$$...that's what LOL

I have to say I've only read one page and I'm bouncing between laughin and getting mad. That therapist should be reported!!







Before someone listens to her and tries to say "my therapist told me to" most people won't believe that excuse!







:


----------



## wholebreath

lisavark said:


> This was a pregnancy comment, not a parenting one, but when I was nine months pg, my dad sent me this email:
> 
> _According to CNN and a recent United Nations study, 1,600 women die in Afghanistan in every 100,000 live births. In comparison, only 12 deaths per 100,000 are recorded in the United States.
> 
> The births in Afghanistan are at home. So statistically, there is a 1.6% chance of the mother's demise during childbirth at home. In the US, the probability of mom's death during childbirth is reduced to 0.012% since most births are in hospitals. Using these data, the chance of your death during childbirth is about 100 times greater if you have the child at home rather than in hospital.
> 
> Personally, I think it makes no sense to increase the probability of your death by a factor of about 100, and I encourage you to reconsider giving birth in a suitable hospital, both for your welfare and that of your baby._
> 
> OMG, that is the exact argument my MIL gives for hospital birth. They must have read the same thing. Like the female populations of the United States and Afghanistan can be compared for the purposes of a discussion about homebirth in the States. Never mind the obvious differences in prenatal care, nutrition, general health and sanitation.
> Such a load of rubbish!


----------



## Jane

Because, like many women in Afganistan, you live several days from a hosptial and must use several methods to get there, like walking, horseback, and car. Also, you have to ask permission from your husband/clan to spend several years' salary at the hospital.
Pray there are no armed roadblocks on the way and that the snowfall doesn't block you in!


----------



## Belia

Quote:


Originally Posted by *katmann* 
one last thing - Long before the birth, when we told her we would be having a homebirth, her response was, "Well, don't call me!"

laughup

Yeah, like that was a real concern.


----------



## Super Glue Mommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *butterfly_mommy* 
I had some great ones Last weekend from my grandmother

She asked me if I ever put my DS down and leave him to cry for a bit









Then she asked my mom when DH and I left to go to the store "Do they ever put him down?" My mom said "Mom, It's called attachment parenting so they try to have him in arms as much as possible" GM said "well in my day they told us to leave them in the crib to cry" My mom replies "Yeah and that is why we are all screwed up"









Another great one

GM "how long are you going to BF Julian for?"
Me "Well, I want to try child led weaning, right now I feel comfortable going till he is three but who knows maybe if he isn't ready to wean at three I can go longer"
GM making a scrunched up face "Oh, I don't like that"
*My mom "Well you don't have to drink it"
Me "But you could if you want to"*
GM looking shocked "Oh no thank you"







:

Then my GM is telling us how great my aunt's kids are, she has 5 that she natural parented including child led weaning with one of her daughters BF till 5. I turn to her and say "See that's what Attachment parenting and extended BF gets you"









My GM was always giving my aunt, her daughter, a hard time about parenting and she still doesn't get it!







:


----------



## suziek

A (dear and wonderful) friend observed that my then 18-month old wouldn't sit to watch a dvd with her 18-month old. She told me was that my problem was that I didn't have a tv/dvd player and that therefore my baby hadn't had a chance to developed her attention span.









I am also always amused when people tell me that my 4 yo dd needs to be in preschool so she can get used to being with other children. I have 4 kids so that just makes me laugh. My house is alive with children--my own, my friends' children, my kids' friends. Also, my daughter is a very kind and gentle person who shares, tends to others, plays lots of games, takes turns, teaches her baby brother songs and all kinds of things (such as how to roar at like a horrible alligator) and can read, swim and set the table. I am doing her a disservice how? SO funny how people have opinions about how other people are raising their kids.

Mostly though, people have been remarkably kind about my children. A few years ago I was nursing my 4 week old on a NYC bus while trying to keep my 4 and 2 yos settled and happy. A late sixty-ish woman who was with a man I assumed was her husband kept looking at me and then whispering to the man. I assumed the worst. But as they got off the bus the woman tapped my arm and said, "lovely, just lovely." Brings tears to my eyes even today.


----------



## Narn

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
Didn't they also recommend really tight swaddling at that time so kids would grow up with "straight limbs"? Even in books from the 50's there're things like "Mrs. Jones was glad Tom had a friend like Jim, who was so tall and straight."









I have a friend in the Peace Corps out in Turkmenistan right now. She says they bind their babies legs out straight so they will grow properly.


----------



## Mamafreya

I had a distant family member tell me to be sure that dh didn't look "down there" when I was pushing the baby out because he might never want to have sex again.







Her theory was that this was a big cause of infidelity.

Also some lady told dh (at his place of work, she was a client) that she hoped we weren't one of those crazy people who slept with the baby in our bed, as this makes children turn into drug addicts and homosexuals.







The really sad thing was that she was dead serious too.

Those were the only two really bad things that I can remember. I know that I've had a few doozies from MIL in the past but nothing like the above.


----------



## BarnMomma

I'm just going to give a hug to ALL of us parents who have to endure the stupid things peple say.

And here are my winners!

Me: I think DH and I are ready to try again to get PG. I'm finally feeling healed enough after the MC to try again.
MIL: Well then you have to stop nursing you know.

(gee so what did she mean? that I MC'd becasue I nursed or I can't get preg, um again???? becasue I'm nursing)

My Mom: If you BF too long he'll be gay. It happened to my cousin.

(WOW. And I share DNA with this woman?)

When DS was 13 mo he was left at MIL's for the afternoon with strict instructions and a whole bag full of home cooked organic food/snacks. We pick up DS and he's covered in pink stick...from costco bought pesticide ridden gorwn in china watermelon! MIL is chuckling about how much watermelon he ate...like 1/4 of a watermelon!!! I'm livid for obvious reasons and she says "well, he didn't want thast food you brought so I gave him watermelon. anway, he likes it!" Hmmm....doesn't suddenly like the food he eats EVERY DAY??? Oh, and DS had the runs for 3 days after!!!!!!

What else?

I guess MIL has had some real winners...

When letting DS chew on a chicken bone at 12 mo, "but he likes it" Really? He likes getting salmonella from chewing on a potentially undercooked chicken part???


----------



## BarnMomma

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ellp* 
My neighbor across the street is a new immigrant from Russia and she mentioned that she does this with her baby (now 1). Get them to sleep and lay them down in a stroller on their back deck (fenced). Put the baby monitor on and you can do whatever you like noise-wise inside the house.

She said this is what they do in Russia and it makes the babies sleep longer. In winter you just bundle them up really well!

I don't know if she realized that we get wildcats, raccoons and bears in our area...

Not defending a baby left ALONE outside to nap but I know DS sleeps like a rock when he naps outdoors. Hubby and I would bundle up ds and walk him in the stroller and he'd fall asleep. When we came home I"d park the stroller, and just sit next to him and read on the deck. Winter/spring/summer/fall. He'd sleep 3+ hours and wake up SO happy.

Fresh air is fantastic for babies and kids. Our ped even suggested sleeping with the window open at night (in winter) and it made a huge difference in all of our sleep quality. We all just bundle up under our down comfoters and wear fuzzy wool PJs. The body heat alone keeps us cozy and the freah air at night is so clearing and refreshing. Good for the immune system too!


----------



## mama*pisces

this is just one of several, off the top of my head:

Over the holidays my SIL was in town, and she rolled her eyes at me and said that ds is "going to be so sheltered" because I said that I monitor what he watches on tv, and that I don't like him to watch violent(and pointless) cartoons that her 11 year old watches.







Yeah, that's really sheltering my two year old.


----------



## Miasmamma

Just thought I would say that it took 2 days, but I just finished all 45 pages!! I can't think of anything that has been said to me, but I'm sure I'll be hearing it soon since we are expecting #2 in May.


----------



## Mal85

Both my family and DH's family never cease to amaze me with their comments.

My SIL asked how many cloth diapers we've accumulated for the babe we have on the way. I told her I'd gotten 3 dozen prefolds and had 10-12 fitteds, pockets, etc. She insists we're going to run out of diapers, because when she buys disposables it comes in a package of 96.

Last weekend, at the in-laws for dinner, my FIL and MIL were discussing what it was like when they brought DH home from the hospital. They said they kept him in a bassinet next to their bed for a week and the second week put him in his crib in a different room. The first few nights, he would cry for them and FIL would not 'allow' MIL to go get him out of bed. They thought this was great because he was sleeping through the night by the end of that week. Yes, asleep and lonely and probably hungry.
I informed DH when we got home that he would not be able to keep me from my crying child.


----------



## jjawm

Bite your baby back.


----------



## tanyam926

My bil and his wife are going to have a baby and she has toxemia. My bil told my dh that the dr said his wife had a poison in her blood that eats the baby.

My dh was like, "What??!!!" He relayed the story to me and I told him what toxemia is and my dh couldn't stop shaking his head at how dumb his brother is.

The funniest/saddest thing about it to me is that if I thought I had a disease that was eating away at my unborn baby I would be freaking out. They aren't, so I dunno....They aren't the brightest crayons in the box and I don't even understand how my bil and my dh are from the same family.

But anyway....


----------



## IlluminatedAttic

Conversation at a moms group when ds was about a year old. The other mom, her child was also about a year, had been snarky about my AP decisions all morning so I was at the end of my rope. A newly bfing mom asked what to do if/when her ds bites.

Other mom: I just pulled dd off and gave her a quick smack, I broke that habit really quick!
Me: Actually, I found that just pulling ds off for a few seconds was enough for the message to sink in.
Other mom: Well you have your way and I have mine. Like I said, I wanted dd to get the message quickly.
Me: Well, ds only ever bit me twice so I guess the message was conveyed pretty quickly. And I will always choose the non-violent solution with my child.
Other mom: Who said anything about violence. I said I give her a smack, I didn't say I throw her against the wall!

One of many reasons I didn't last for long as a member of this group.


----------



## mamabohl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ernalala* 
When I mentioned I was 'still' bf my 2y8m toddler, two women asked if I still got any milk then? Of course, otherwise we wouldn't really nurse anymore, would we?
...


Actually it is quite common for older nurslings to continue even when there's no milk. My almost 4.5 yo ds still nurses even though I dried up due to pregnancy about 2 months ago. (he wasn't happy about it, but decided he would wait it out until the milk comes back, lol)


----------



## yasinsmama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamabohl* 
Actually it is quite common for older nurslings to continue even when there's no milk. My almost 4.5 yo ds still nurses even though I dried up due to pregnancy about 2 months ago. (he wasn't happy about it, but decided he would wait it out until the milk comes back, lol)

Cute.


----------



## Snuzzmom

OMG... these are hilarious and crazy-making at the same time.

When I was pregnant with DS my dad would constantly say things like, "I hope you're eating well for MY GRANDSON," etc. He is a fairly self-centered guy so I just chalked it up to that; I can't decide if I'm relieved or disgusted to see that this is fairly common among grandparents. My BF suggested that when speaking to my dad, I refer to myself only as "your grandson's mother."









This one isn't really parenting criticism but it was pretty annoying. I am pregnant with #2 and my MIL sent a "Congratulations-- You're Expecting!" card... to my DH. No mention of me anywhere.


----------



## diaperqueen

I haven't read all of the posts in this thread, so I apologize if this one has already been covered.

When I was pg with dd, we had a badminton net set up in our yard. The inlaws were over one day, and MIL said to me, "When you're playing badminton, be careful and don't reach your arm up over your head, or you can wrap the cord around the baby's neck."

So...the cord is attached to...my arm. Right.


----------



## yasinsmama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Snuzzmom* 
OMG... these are hilarious and crazy-making at the same time.

When I was pregnant with DS my dad would constantly say things like, "I hope you're eating well for MY GRANDSON," etc. He is a fairly self-centered guy so I just chalked it up to that; I can't decide if I'm relieved or disgusted to see that this is fairly common among grandparents. My BF suggested that when speaking to my dad, I refer to myself only as "your grandson's mother."









This one isn't really parenting criticism but it was pretty annoying. I am pregnant with #2 and my MIL sent a "Congratulations-- You're Expecting!" card... to my DH. No mention of me anywhere.









When I had a miscarriage in 2006, my MIL called DH to tell him "everything will be alright"!!! I never heard from her!!!


----------



## triscuitsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Snuzzmom* 
This one isn't really parenting criticism but it was pretty annoying. I am pregnant with #2 and my MIL sent a "Congratulations-- You're Expecting!" card... to my DH. No mention of me anywhere.









When I delivered DS2 three and a half weeks ago MIL was on the phone hearing the news of his arrival from DP and she was all over asking him if he was OK after everything he'd been through (supporting me through my labour and then being up with a newborn during our first night) but she never once asked how I was (just fine thank you, 18 hours of pitocin induced hell with no pain meds later and then a massive postpartum hemmorage and then being up actually nursing said child all night














).

Then she sent a Congratulations on Your New Baby arrangement of fruit... address solely to my partner







:


----------



## Mamafreya

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Snuzzmom* 
This one isn't really parenting criticism but it was pretty annoying. I am pregnant with #2 and my MIL sent a "Congratulations-- You're Expecting!" card... to my DH. No mention of me anywhere.










Quote:


Originally Posted by *yasinsmama* 
When I had a miscarriage in 2006, my MIL called DH to tell him "everything will be alright"!!! I never heard from her!!!










Quote:


Originally Posted by *triscuitsmom* 
When I delivered DS2 three and a half weeks ago MIL was on the phone hearing the news of his arrival from DP and she was all over asking him if he was OK after everything he'd been through (supporting me through my labour and then being up with a newborn during our first night) but she never once asked how I was (just fine thank you, 18 hours of pitocin induced hell with no pain meds later and then a massive postpartum hemmorage and then being up actually nursing said child all night














).

Then she sent a Congratulations on Your New Baby arrangement of fruit... address solely to my partner







:

Even my mil wouldn't be this rude and she could win a contest for the worst MIL. Really. I remember when my first dd was born dh called his parents and later we got a call from her saying (on the machine), OMG, I can't believe I didn't ask how DW is doing!" What is wrong with these women? It's something I've always wondered about. What causes mothers to do this to there DILs?? I really don't understand.


----------



## Maggirayne

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Snuzzmom* 
When I was pregnant with DS my dad would constantly say things like, "I hope you're eating well for MY GRANDSON," etc. He is a fairly self-centered guy so I just chalked it up to that; I can't decide if I'm relieved or disgusted to see that this is fairly common among grandparents. My BF suggested that when speaking to my dad, I refer to myself only as "your grandson's mother."









Just a thought because someone recently mentioned this to me when my FIL was asking if nursing my DD while pg with #2 was safe--maybe he's that those sort of things out of concern for you and the baby and doesn't know how else to voice it?









My mom drives me nuts telling me common-sense things, but instead of reacting and getting upset, I am trying to remember she's concerned and expressing that the only way she knows how.


----------



## pokeyrin

"Don't cater to your child, or else they'll end up controlling you."

This told to me countless times by my FIL since my DD was born 5 months ago









and

"She's going to have to get used to being around a big, noisy family"

Also told us by FIL when she was newborn and we wanted to find a quiet place at their house for her to sleep. Ironically because the other 9 grandchildren ages 3 to 16 have the run of the house to play and they do it very loudly and DD was jolt awake everytime there was a sudden loud noise.







:


----------



## jlanda

Wow, so much here! I've only gone through half of it and it's been days! I've heard plenty, but I'll try to only add ones that I don't *think* have been added yet.

DH tells FIL that we're having to supplement with formula and it's really expensive. FIL (DH was born in Cuba so you do have to forgive a little bit, but still) says "Oh, you can just give [DS] evaporated milk. And if you want to cut costs, just water it down." !!!!! I asked DH if he was joking. He wasn't.

After DS was unexpectedly transported to the NICU 30 miles away due to lung infection/stopped breathing after an otherwise uneventful birth. My stepmother asks me "Is it because you went swimming while pregnant?" .....

MIL gave me the "don't let him stand, it will make him bowlegged" line that made me laugh harder when I saw it mentioned in the Sears book.

then DH says to me "well, we're going to have to put rice cereal in his bottle soon."
Me: why?
DH: because you have to?
Me: Says who?
DH: Says everyone
Me: The AAP? World Health Organization?
DH: Well, my sister and this truck driver at work
Me: Uh huh, excellent sources of information. And who does this benefit, giving him empty calories before he's ready for solids in the first place (DS was maybe 2 mo at this point)
DH: (starting to feel sheepish) Well...It's supposed to help us sleep longer
Me: So it's for our benefit, not his, when his body gets used to empty calories so we can sleep longer.
DH:..... yeah, you're right. Bad idea.
I later read in the Sears book how doing this may not even work in the first place.

At his 4mo birthday, everyone and their grandmother (almost literally) started bugging me about starting DS on solids. I told them when he's ready he'll tell me. Didn't stop them from bugging me, but that's to be expected.

Guy at my husband's job: Tell your wife to get a c-section so your kid can have a nice round head.

Old friend: Don't name him that! I'm sick of people with their unique names for kids lately.
Me: (definitely NOT a trend follower, so a unique name is standard for me) Unless this boy is born with a vagina, that's what his name is going to be!

But my FAVORITES are those WITHOUT CHILDREN who are pressuring me to do things a certain way or giving me advice, and it's often advice that's either super-mainstream (again, everyone knows I am NOT NOT NOT mainstream) or older than dirt.

While pregnant, I sat at a table chatting with my gal friends, all of whom have no children but all pressuring me to get DS circ'ed. I explained the many reasons why we would NOT, but they were insistent that the poor boy would live to regret it and that he wouldn't have memory of it anyway. I went on to explain that memories can be held in the subconscious and come out later as a meltdown for which you have no distinct, traceable memory (which happened to me.) Still they pressed, and I told them that a bunch of women should not be deciding what happens to an innocent male baby's genitalia. (DH is not circ'ed, so the decision was rather easy.)

I had one of those childless (she NEVER wants to have children) scolding (yes scolding) me for not putting the baby to sleep in a crib in another room rather than having him sleep with me in a co-sleeper. I didn't get a chance to respond because the conversation switched somehow, but if she brings it up again, I'm going to mention that she sleeps with her cat. Why is okay to sleep with your cat, another species, but not your baby like every other mammal does?

FIL: (after seeing DH playing with and cuddling 1mo DS) Oh, you're such a loving father. I didn't love you kids at first because I couldn't interact with you, but then when you were able to smile at me, then I started to love you (yes, he is a narcissist.)

I tell stepmother we're not circ'ing, she spends the next 10 minutes trying to find her eyes that popped out.

I state that we're going to use mostly cloth diapers, backed up by gDiapers, and with a very occasional disposable if I need to use ointments or got backed up on laundry. I have one friend (with children) tell me that I might need to start being realistic, and another one (without children) go on a desperate search for eco-friendly disposables because "it's just going to be too hard for your husband." In regards to first friend, I actually PREFER the cloth, having tried both, for multiple reasons, and told her I don't know how people go around using disposables. I find them obnoxious as well as environmentally destructive. They're flimsy, leak, stink (BEFORE anything's put in them), and stick to the poor kid's private parts. Both friends wound up getting me bumgenius gift packs for my shower, and it's because of those bg's that I abhor disposables! And DH can use them just fine!

DH gives baby to MIL to feed a bottle (I still BF, but have had issues with supply since day one to which there are many posts in the breastfeeding forum). MIL lays DS flat on his back and sticks the bottle on his mouth (so the stuff is POURING in, even with a size 0 nipple.) I tell DH to tell his mother to sit him up (MIL only speaks spanish.) She sits him up, then slowly lowers, lowers, lowers to flat. I tell DH again to get DS sitting up. Repeat. I tell DH AGAIN! DH gets annoyed and takes the bottle away from MIL and sits there with it. DS now begins to scream. I take DS and the bottle and feed him myself since something so simple is apparently too difficult for two grown adults with direct instructions and supervision. Someone explain this nonsensical situation please!

L&D nurse at the hospital I toured and ran away from afterward: Don't go around reading everything and stressing yourself out. If you trust your doctor, just let them do what they have to do and relax. (not in a million years, thank you.)

In the same vein, Stepmother says, in regards to the fact that I have information to refute the dirt-old advice she gives: Oh, you read too much.
Same Stepmother: Oh, don't go looking for medical information on the internet. A doctor I work with says it's all wrong and will make you worry. (She KNOWS I'm a computer technician, I *THINK* I know how to use the internet. Not to seem OT, but the conversation was in regards to DS.)

And the kicker. The grand finale. The insensitive male comment award goes to my father, who was otherwise very kind, gentle, supportive, and good with DS (in other words, he was replaced by aliens because this is NOT the same man I grew up with!) I had a 36 hour, no pain med, very difficult labor with lovely back labor to go with it. 30 minutes after DS is born, he stops breathing. I get to watch him being revived, then hooked to a million tubes and whisked 30 miles away to a NICU on what's supposed to be the most joyous night of my life. I then go through hell going back and forth to the NICU every day, dealing with family, trying to get breastfeeding going (which was doomed from the start thanks to tons of bad advice and not having DS around from the start), trying to take care of myself, trying to heal, trying not to have an emotional breakdown after watching my little baby silently crying with a tube down his throat, reaching to be picked up but I can barely touch him because he was hypersensitive and it brought his oxygen stats down when he got upset, etc. A few days in, I'm talking to my father from the hospital where DS is staying at, and he feels this is an appropriate time to tell me that it's important I lose the pregnancy weight now before I turn 50 and I can't get the weight off as easily like what's happening with my stepmother (I was 32 at the time.) Of all the things I could not give a holy crap about, but thanks for pointing out, on top of all the hell I'm going through, that I'm fat.

I leave you with that to ponder and


----------



## waiting2bemommy

LOL, after that novel, I'm not sure I have the right to post, but holy cow.....

Man, but i live with a Cuban step-FIL, and it must be a cuban thing, becauase he told me theSAME THING about evap. milk. weird.

And then, since ds is waking up a million times a night, MIL told me to give him a bottle of milk becuase my milk isn't good enough. i pointed out that he is dairy-free and she says, well give him rice milk. Ds went to a sippy cup at 5 MONTHS. WHY would I go back to bottles now at almost a year and a half???? And rice milk no less, which has like half the fat content????


----------



## flower01

Ok, I think I got to page 36...it might take me a few more days to finish this thread.

But, I wanted to add a comment that I get ALL THE TIME and it drives me nuts. My DD is now 22 months and I swear I've gotten this since day 1. If we are ever out in public and she starts crying, a woman (usually older) walking by says "Oooh, somebody needs a nap" in that condescending tone like I don't know what my daughter needs. I get so annoyed by it that now I just completely ignore the person and walk away - i dont give them the satisfaction of any response. I mean really, is that the ONLY reason a baby cries. My DH immediately laughs now when he hears the comment cause he knows how much it bothers me.


----------



## TopHat

This happened to me yesterday on the way to a playgroup- I cut and pasted this from my blog. I was wearing my DD in a sling and it was warm out- even to the point where I questioned whether or not I should have put that coat on:

I was walking along in front of the 7-11, talking on the phone with a friend when suddenly, a minivan with 2 platinum blond 40-something women pulled up in the driveway in front of me blocking my ability to walk on the sidewalk. One of the ladies jumped out and tried to hand me money commanding,

"Take this money. You NEED to buy your baby socks."

I was still trying to assess the situation.

"No thanks, she's fine."

The lady was persistent, "You're wearing a big coat and she doesn't have socks!" implying that somehow I'm more concerned about myself than my baby. In my mind I thought, "Yeah, and I'm sweating in this coat!"

"No. She's fine."

The lady in the van yelled out at me, "NO. SHE IS NOT FINE!"

I'm a little taken aback and after a few more, "No. We're fine" comments, they did leave.

I kept on walking, a little shaken up. Why did they care? It was very nice out. Margaret is rarely cold, and if she was, she'd let me know- it's not like she's forgotten how to cry.

It was after they left that I realized I should have threatened to call the police on counts of harassment. Later on in the walk, I saw a little girl standing in an open doorway with just underwear on: perhaps it would have been prudent to go up to the house and give them money to buy her pants and a shirt?

I've replayed the scene in my head; I'm still left with questions: What were they thinking? Did the sling make me look too poor to buy a stroller? Were they on a weird "service" scavenger hunt and needed to give away random money by harassing and yelling at a young mother? Would it not have happened if I wasn't wearing my coat? Would they have offered more money if they thought I was too poor to buy a coat for myself along with the inability to buy socks? Should I have taken the money and gone to 7-11 to buy a slurpee? Hmm...


----------



## ShwarmaQueen

Quote:


Originally Posted by *waiting2bemommy* 
Man, but i live with a Cuban step-FIL, and it must be a cuban thing, becauase he told me theSAME THING about evap. milk. weird.

Actully, the thing about the evap milk is not completely insane. In a *true* emergency, evap milk can be mixed 1:1 w/ water, and a tablespoon of sugar added for sustainable nourishment of an infant. It's what MANY people have used in the past...the proteins have been broken down (not sure what the right word is for that) and so it's not the same as whole milk as far as digestibility. Again, this is only a true emergency (think Hurricane Rita) if no breastmilk or formula can be used.







:


----------



## Shera971

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TopHat* 

"Take this money. You NEED to buy your baby socks."

Must have been the "Sock Police" LOL


----------



## veganone

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ShwarmaQueen* 
Actully, the thing about the evap milk is not completely insane. In a *true* emergency, evap milk can be mixed 1:1 w/ water, and a tablespoon of sugar added for sustainable nourishment of an infant. It's what MANY people have used in the past...the proteins have been broken down (not sure what the right word is for that) and so it's not the same as whole milk as far as digestibility. Again, this is only a true emergency (think Hurricane Rita) if no breastmilk or formula can be used.







:









Not uncommon in Latin America, at least. (Heating milk does change the lactose somehow - I can't tolerate regular milk, but can tolerate it in cooked things). Also, evaporated milk can be stored with no refrigeration and is pretty guaranteed to not have any pathogens in it.


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## fireweed

Quote:

Actully, the thing about the evap milk is not completely insane. In a *true* emergency, evap milk can be mixed 1:1 w/ water, and a tablespoon of sugar added for sustainable nourishment of an infant. It's what MANY people have used in the past...the proteins have been broken down (not sure what the right word is for that) and so it's not the same as whole milk as far as digestibility. Again, this is only a true emergency (think Hurricane Rita) if no breastmilk or formula can be used.

Yeah, my mom and all her siblings were fed this(canada circa 1940's/50's).
The thought of it makes me just shudder.


----------



## ShwarmaQueen

Quote:


Originally Posted by *fireweed* 
Yeah, my mom and all her siblings were fed this(canada circa 1940's/50's).
The thought of it makes me just shudder.

Crazy huh? My mom and aunt were were weaned early and switched over to this too...


----------



## Mamafreya

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ShwarmaQueen* 
Crazy huh? My mom and aunt were were weaned early and switched over to this too...









My mom and uncle were also fed this too. They were both adopted and I guess their doctor told my grandma to use evaporated milk.







: My mom always jokes and says she wonders if that's why she's so strange. LOL.


----------



## jlanda

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ShwarmaQueen* 
Actully, the thing about the evap milk is not completely insane. In a *true* emergency, evap milk can be mixed 1:1 w/ water, and a tablespoon of sugar added for sustainable nourishment of an infant. It's what MANY people have used in the past...the proteins have been broken down (not sure what the right word is for that) and so it's not the same as whole milk as far as digestibility. Again, this is only a true emergency (think Hurricane Rita) if no breastmilk or formula can be used.







:


Supposedly, when DH was a baby, he couldn't tolerate formula and for whatever reason his mother couldn't breastfeed, so this was the only solution. Now I don't know what he couldn't tolerate about formula considering he has NO food allergies, but who knows what was in the stuff back then. The part that really kills me is that it's 2008, and with the options available now, FIL suggests this AND suggests I cheapen it up by diluting it. Though I shouldn't be surprised. He thinks McDonalds is an acceptable daily breakfast because it's cheap.


----------



## bubbamummy

My FIL said 'eeeewww...his not circumcised? we'll sort him out when he comes to stay with grandpa...we dont want him with infections all his life'

GAAAAH!!! needless to say, my son will NEVER EVER go and stay there!!


----------



## aurora_skys

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sophieslion* 
My FIL said 'eeeewww...his not circumcised? we'll sort him out when he comes to stay with grandpa...we dont want him with infections all his life'

GAAAAH!!! needless to say, my son will NEVER EVER go and stay there!!

holy crap! as in circ him against your (and obviously his) will??? whoa, thats above and beyond anything ive ever heard... that would terrify me into never allowing that person to so much as change a diaper!!!!


----------



## Belia

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flower01* 
If we are ever out in public and she starts crying, a woman (usually older) walking by says "Oooh, somebody needs a nap" in that condescending tone like I don't know what my daughter needs.

I would just say "Yeah! ME!"


----------



## Belia

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TopHat* 
One of the ladies jumped out and tried to hand me money.
Should I have taken the money and gone to 7-11 to buy a slurpee? Hmm...

Yup.







Maybe if you tried to feed it to your daughter you could have gotten an extra $20 out of them.









My mom freaked out because I carried my son two feet out the door to get the mail a few days ago. It was, like, 40 degrees. We were outside about 20 seconds. I just don't get it.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sophieslion* 
My FIL said 'eeeewww...his not circumcised? we'll sort him out when he comes to stay with grandpa...we dont want him with infections all his life'

GAAAAH!!! needless to say, my son will NEVER EVER go and stay there!!

If he brings this up again, can I suggest a look of horror and "just WHY exactly are you talking about slicing off part of my son's PENIS?" Bonus points if you get any males in the room to wince.


----------



## Narn

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jlanda* 
Why is okay to sleep with your cat, another species, but not your baby like every other mammal does?

In this culture it seems common to treat pets like babies and babies like pets.


----------



## mamabohl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jlanda* 
Supposedly, when DH was a baby, he couldn't tolerate formula and for whatever reason his mother couldn't breastfeed, so this was the only solution. Now I don't know what he couldn't tolerate about formula considering he has NO food allergies, but who knows what was in the stuff back then. The part that really kills me is that it's 2008, and with the options available now, FIL suggests this AND suggests I cheapen it up by diluting it. Though I shouldn't be surprised. He thinks McDonalds is an acceptable daily breakfast because it's cheap.










Wow, I wonder where they lived? I was born lactose intolerant so I couldn't breastfeed or have regular formula. They tried soy formula (I was born in 83) but I was allergic to that, lol. So i was raised on raw goat's milk...seems much healthier than evap milk, if not ideal.


----------



## pear-shaped

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TopHat* 
"Take this money. You NEED to buy your baby socks."











That reminded me of something. Once, when I opened our front door to let someone in, a woman who was passing by in the street yelled at me because dd was sockless.

Here's another: a while ago I overheard my husband's aunt tell my mother-in-law that dd, "should be in daycare because she can't learn anything at home from her mother."







What makes that comment extra idiotic in our case is that, hello! dd is learning a second language from me! I pretended not to hear it because her ideas about parenting are all so moronic that I prefer not to engage her in conversation. She has no children but thinks she knows everything.


----------



## x.xiv.mmvii

I've actually gone on strike from calling my grandfather as he and his wife pester me each time I call asking how many words DS is speaking. His wife is pushy about it, and last time I asked them to stop giving me grief about it, DS is 16 months and says about 5 words. Ped isn't concerned yet and said not to be worried. I tell this to grandfather, whom then gets snippy and says, "Maybe he's Autistic". Totally inappropriate.

So I wait a few weeks and call to see how he is doing, and his wife is in the back demanding to know just how many words are being spoken by DS now. I'm done with them. This is the lady that told me Asian children are naturally smarter, thus my reason for struggling in math in college and not being as successful as her family which all have degrees, etc. Apparently our downfall is we're not Asian, so we must be slow.

/vent


----------



## springmum

I have a girlfriend who is newly pregnant. It just so happens that her sister and 2 close friends that have just had babies, one of whom already has 2 other children.
So my friend is telling me that the mom of 3 is giving advice to the 2 other moms, saying she has always had her newborn in their cribs right away and sleeping through the night by a month old. Apparently she was telling them to let them cry otherwise it will get worse








My friend then tells me that her other friend finally is putting her baby in the crib to sleep, which is good b/c she was "too attached"









Don't worry, I spamed her with Dr Sears info and my personal beliefs.


----------



## diaperqueen

Quote:


Originally Posted by *x.xiv.mmvii* 
I've actually gone on strike from calling my grandfather as he and his wife pester me each time I call asking how many words DS is speaking. His wife is pushy about it, and last time I asked them to stop giving me grief about it, DS is 16 months and says about 5 words. Ped isn't concerned yet and said not to be worried.

My ds was the same way. Somewhere around 18 mo. it was like someone flipped a switch. He started talking nonstop--he's 14 years old now, and he has barely taken a break from talking--ever!


----------



## smeisnotapirate

A woman who is new to our synagogue is an anesthesia nurse. When I was talking about my labor with DS in her presence - but not to her - (53 hours of natural FTP, then a really traumatic c-section), she looked me straight in the eye and said "You're crazy. You know, there are medications for that, right? If you'd have been in the hospital, that NEVER would have happened. He'd have been out immediately!" I was so flabbergasted (because she was being SO rude) that I just said "You're absolutely right. I will NEVER go into the hospital to have a baby ever again!" She then looked at my friend and said "Well, I suppose when you're young you can afford to be stupid, right?" and walked away. Wow.

This is the same woman who when I sat down next to her 12 year old son before dinner said (in front of him) "I'm not sure you want to sit there - he's not very interesting when it comes to conversation."







I proceeded to talk to him through the entire dinner, and we had TONS of fun talking about English football, cellphones, and random American trivia. He was a polite, well-spoken pre-teen, and I told him so after dinner.


----------



## Veronika01

Wow! Some of these comments are SO rude! I can't believe it.

Here's my contribution. We started going to a homeschooling group and my son got into some things he wasn't supposed to while playing outside. Like a 4 yr old should know not to throw toys in the pool while the pool is littered with rocks and toys! Anyway, I knew he was a handfull and apologized. Next thing I know they started phoning me (and admitted to gossiping about me) and started talking about my children's salvation (I'm a Christian, but this was sooooo over the top!) and how my children will go to hell if I didn't start spanking them immediately! Then they asked me if I'd ever given him (my son) a good hiding. I said we didn't spank anymore, stopped that years ago because it wasn't what we wanted, plus it didn't work to discipline my children. The woman then proceeds to tell me that I spanked him the wrong way! She said I should spank him until he started crying over being in pain from the spanking and not because he was in trouble. Wow oh wow! Needless to say, we never went back to the homeschool group.


----------



## yasinsmama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Veronika01* 
Wow! Some of these comments are SO rude! I can't believe it.

Here's my contribution. We started going to a homeschooling group and my son got into some things he wasn't supposed to while playing outside. Like a 4 yr old should know not to throw toys in the pool while the pool is littered with rocks and toys! Anyway, I knew he was a handfull and apologized. Next thing I know they started phoning me (and admitted to gossiping about me) and started talking about my children's salvation (I'm a Christian, but this was sooooo over the top!) and how my children will go to hell if I didn't start spanking them immediately! Then they asked me if I'd ever given him (my son) a good hiding. I said we didn't spank anymore, stopped that years ago because it wasn't what we wanted, plus it didn't work to discipline my children. The woman then proceeds to tell me that I spanked him the wrong way! She said I should spank him until he started crying over being in pain from the spanking and not because he was in trouble. Wow oh wow! Needless to say, we never went back to the homeschool group.

scary


----------



## organicpapayamama

I have one to add, although its not my story, it happened to my mother. My mom had 4 kids total and all of us were adopted. As she got home from running errands one day she was unloading all us kids this woman approached her and gave her a long schpeal about how she is contributing to overpopulation and yada yada yada.... my mom didnt say a word until she stopped talking and said "all my kids are adopted." The lady didnt know what to say and just left. how presumptuous!


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## Biscuits & Gravy

A few weeks ago I was living at my mom's with my almost 3 yo, and 5 wk old at the time. I was trying to get our belongings packed up for a move and was mentioning how hard it was when I had someone demanding me all day long. My younger, single, brother who has no children chimed in. He told me to put the baby down and "Let him cry. He needs to learn to be by himself anyway, right?" I immediately informed him that he is not ever allowed to give me parenting advice.









Later he pulled me aside and apologized. He said he realizes he has no clue what parenting is about and that if anyone knows, it is me.







Thanks, Bro.


----------



## wild fire child

My MIL insisted the whole time I was pg that the best thing for teething is milk bones...dog biscuits, from the store, just like you'd buy for the dog.
Baby was born and she got word I thought that was a terrible idea, so she told it to me again but said she made them from scratch. Like I had forgotten that she said that? Nice lie.

She also says that when DH was a baby his doctor told her that every time he got the hiccups it meant he was growing. I smiled and nodded, and a few weeks later she said that every time DH got hiccups he grew an inch...if this baby grew an inch each time he'd be four feet tall by now!


----------



## jlanda

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pear-shaped* 
This one makes me really angry and I hear it often. Lots of people tell me that my daughter will be closer to dh when she gets older because "girls are always closer to their fathers and boys are always closer to their mothers." It's a cultural thing here. I hate it because I feel that it discounts everything I do for dd (and I get very little help from dh!) I also hate it because it smacks of essentialism.


OMG I HATE the gender bias crap. Though in my situation it's people telling me DS will be closer to DH because he's a male and they would be into male things. I'm the biggest tomboy I know (at 32, I was STILL collecting Transformers toys) and the only thing I would opt out of in regards to "male" stereotyped interests would involve questionable magazines if you get my drift. And I go on to remind said folk that I'm far more apt to go fishing than do my nails, but they insist I'm going to be left all alone at home while the guys do "guy things." Again, like all the effort I put into being a good mommy will be for naught because i'll just be ditched to the curb in favor of Mr. Man. Ironically, if our son wants to learn how to catch snakes, he better learn it from mama because papa won't go there!


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## vloky

: subscribing.


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## Heidi74

Originally Posted by Ellp
My neighbor across the street is a new immigrant from Russia and she mentioned that she does this with her baby (now 1). Get them to sleep and lay them down in a stroller on their back deck (fenced). Put the baby monitor on and you can do whatever you like noise-wise inside the house.

She said this is what they do in Russia and it makes the babies sleep longer. In winter you just bundle them up really well!

I don't know if she realized that we get wildcats, raccoons and bears in our area...

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BarnMomma* 
Not defending a baby left ALONE outside to nap but I know DS sleeps like a rock when he naps outdoors. Hubby and I would bundle up ds and walk him in the stroller and he'd fall asleep. When we came home I"d park the stroller, and just sit next to him and read on the deck. Winter/spring/summer/fall. He'd sleep 3+ hours and wake up SO happy.

Fresh air is fantastic for babies and kids. Our ped even suggested sleeping with the window open at night (in winter) and it made a huge difference in all of our sleep quality. We all just bundle up under our down comfoters and wear fuzzy wool PJs. The body heat alone keeps us cozy and the freah air at night is so clearing and refreshing. Good for the immune system too!

This is actually a common thing all over northern Europe. While I used to put DS on the deck where I could see him (I'd keep an eye on him from the other side of the window, just in case a cat were to jump into the stroller) DS would nap outside all year long while we were living in Norway. Even in 10 degree F weather. It's brilliant, because the fresh air is so good for them and if they are bundled up well, they are nice and warm. (People there have strollers and sleeping bags that are warmer than the ones you typically find here in the States.) DS never sleeps as well indoors, and he gets irritable quicker if he's been inside for a long time. People sleep with the windows open in the winter there too. As long as you have warm bedding, it's a great way to sleep.

Again--not defending leaving a baby completely unsupervised...(though people do that quite often in Europe and you never hear of anything happening)...and while child abductions hardly ever happen (unlike the US) there is always the worry that a cat might get into the netting that covers the stroller or a dog jump up at it...or something.

Sorry, just had to comment. If a similar thread were posted on a European board, people would probably say it was crazy that American babies sleep inside all the time (not to mention, stay inside all winter.) It's all cultural differences...


----------



## nudhistbudhist

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LaurenB* 
I've gotten several comments on Ramona's round head too. But a few older women have taken it a step farther to then ask me if I had a cesarean. "Beautiful round head! She's a cesarean baby, right?" I know they don't mean to be rude or hurtful, but the first couple of times this came up it was all I could do not to burst into tears. Yes, cesarean.


lol my baby ended up a c-section too, but he was born with a huge cone head. I dont know how, I only got to 8 cm!


----------



## eccomi

Another MIL story...

DS is three weeks old, crying and fussing. I try rocking him and walking around with him and of course nursing him. He's still fussing because, well, he's three weeks old.

MIL: "Hm, maybe your milk is bad."

I looked straight at DH and said "All right, everyone out!"

(Sidenote: I nursed DS for over two years and still every once in a while feel some milk leaking.)


----------



## skolbut

"You're not old enough to have kids"

Said multiple times... too many to count... even one by a coworker who was my union rep and should have been aware of my age and another by a friend of my MIL....

Really?? I'm (*cough*29*cough*), and my oldest is 2. Surely 27 is old enough to have a baby... no?

Maybe I should have said, "Thanks! I hope I look like I'm 10 for many more years to come, since that's how old I was when I started my period!"

Or this gem from my (usually crunchy safety minded but frugal)mom: "I don't know why you need to buy a carseat for the baby when there's a perfectly good one out in the garage". Because there have been no advancements in carseat safety since the early 80's.


----------



## milkybean

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sophieslion* 
My FIL said 'eeeewww...his not circumcised? we'll sort him out when he comes to stay with grandpa...we dont want him with infections all his life'

GAAAAH!!! needless to say, my son will NEVER EVER go and stay there!!

Holy.....and here I am, having kept DS from alone time with grandma b/c I'm worried she'll slap his hand or feed him meat! And you have THAT to worry about????!!!!! I'm so sorry!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
If he brings this up again, can I suggest a look of horror and "just WHY exactly are you talking about slicing off part of my son's PENIS?" Bonus points if you get any males in the room to wince.

Heh heh heh.


----------



## Livviesmom0207

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Narn* 
In this culture it seems common to treat pets like babies and babies like pets.

I have a friend pregnant with twins who has a pet pig. This pig weighs more than she does. The pig sleeps in bed with her and her boyfriend. They bought a platform bed so the pig can get up and down.

When the twins come, they go into their own room and the pig stays (at least that's what they say now, haha) because according to her boyfriend "the pig HAS to sleep with us, he will freak out".

For the record, they brought this pig to a party at my house once and someone wanted to take a picture and this man had a FIT because he didn't want the pig laying on the ground-he didn't want the pig to get dirty.


----------



## Mommy2Austin

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Livviesmom0207* 
I have a friend pregnant with twins who has a pet pig. This pig weighs more than she does. The pig sleeps in bed with her and her boyfriend. They bought a platform bed so the pig can get up and down.

When the twins come, they go into their own room and the pig stays (at least that's what they say now, haha) because according to her boyfriend "the pig HAS to sleep with us, he will freak out".

For the record, they brought this pig to a party at my house once and someone wanted to take a picture and this man had a FIT because he didn't want the pig laying on the ground-he didn't want the pig to get dirty.

O...M...G! What happens the day that Piggy gets too big for the house?? Or walks on one of the kids?? Or gets sick because he's being forced to do something unnatural to his nature? Ugh!! How can people be so shortsighted and ridiculous?







:


----------



## Theoretica

There is an off the grid thread somewhere around here that I just read where they were talking about how pigs eat ANYTHING. Like baby ducks...whatever.

I think that twin mama has bigger problems than the pig sleeping next to her (or the oversized porkchop in bed with them), ykwim???

LOL


----------



## Livviesmom0207

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mommy2Austin* 
O...M...G! What happens the day that Piggy gets too big for the house?? Or walks on one of the kids?? Or gets sick because he's being forced to do something unnatural to his nature? Ugh!! How can people be so shortsighted and ridiculous?







:

Yeah she's about 7 months pregnant and having trouble sleeping with HOOFS in her back. Priorities anyone?


----------



## mamabear0314

I just got back from visiting my family and in laws in Texas. I swear I've never heard such ridiculous things!
From an older (60's) friend of my DH's family:
"He's not circumcised? You know you'll _have_ to do that eventually!"
"You know Jesus was circumcised." (I informed her that Jesus was also Jewish...she insisted that we were, too.)
"He's 3 months old, don't you give him cereal? He'll never stay satisfied with just your milk."
She also made tons of comments about how _most_ black people are criminals and we (we meaning white people) shouldn't "mate" with them. I just looked at her like she was crazy.

From my Grandmother:
"He can't sit up by himself? All my girls could sit up and stand up when they were 3 months old."
Talking to my son, "Mom doesn't teach you how to sit up? You should come live with me. I'll let you have cereal, water and you can teethe on a chicken bone!"


----------



## momo7

It's the miniature pot belly pig right? They get as big as a medium sized dog.....very well mannered....and litter box trainable......although I probably wouldn't let it have precidence over my children in that way (or anyway) but they are cute and sweet still.









I have a friend that also has one.....her children lay on it and cuddle up to it when they are watching TV......her son has an X-box and that crazy pig will sit with him and watch him play for however long he plays....it has its own baby swimming pool in the summer to keep cool. They have a cat and the pig and the cat are very best friends.....the cat will come in from outside and immediately start howling for the pig...it will come out from wherever and the kitty will just rub against the pig all over and the pig will grunt and rub back...crazy things.....They are all VERY attached to this pig..not at all what you think having a pig in thehouse would be like.


----------



## LuckyTrish

Quote:


Originally Posted by *momo7* 
It's the miniature pot belly pig right? They get as big as a medium sized dog.....very well mannered....and litter box trainable......although I probably wouldn't let it have precidence over my children in that way (or anyway) but they are cute and sweet still.

















:

That's what I wanted to say, but you phrased it better!!


----------



## nudhistbudhist

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ashleyhaugh* 
my mom gave us porkchop bones to teethe on, and we've given ds a pork chop bone once, and a couple of chicken bones, and he loves to chew on them, they taste good, and he sucks all of the good stuff out, lol

Us too. DS loves meat, cant get enough of it, but i don't want him to eat too much, so I give him a solid bone to chew.


----------



## AirMiami

I was told by a woman I used to work with that I shouldn't be putting lotion on my breasts while pregnant if I was planning to breastfeed. My nipples would end up too soft and I would bleed and poison the baby with my blood. Apparently this was the exact same reason she started giving her son formula within the first 2 weeks of his life.

Uhhh....ok.


----------



## Funny Face

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 

When she called a few days ago, she wanted to know if I was giving the baby (only 2 weeks old) water. I said no and she, utterly shocked, said "doesn't she ever get thirsty?"

Love that one.

"Yes, I'll give the baby water just as soon as I want to give her a heart attack. Water can cause serious electrolyte imbalances in infants and can lead to fatal arrhythmias."

That pretty much ended that conversation.


----------



## Funny Face

Someone told me I'd better supplement with formula from the beginning otherwise the baby might begin to prefer breastmilk and wouldn't take formula later on.







:


----------



## bigeyes

Quote:


Originally Posted by *moodyred01* 
Someone told me I'd better supplement with formula from the beginning otherwise the baby might begin to prefer breastmilk and wouldn't take formula later on.







:

Yee-gods, wouldn't _that_ be a tragedy?


----------



## Gabe'sMummy

Oh god...too many!

That babywearing is 'not natural'.







:
That formula is 'just as good as breastmilk as it has so many vitamins in it these days'.
I get the one about him being spoilt quite a bit too. I don't mind though. I just smile and shrug at people when they try and tell me about parenting.

OHH but the ones I hate are when DS is eating finger foods (he's 10 months and has kinda been part spoonfed/part BLW, but prefers the BLW) I get the 'OMG! What if he chokes!' thing from other mothers. I have a friend who gives her 15mo DS chocolate buttons. And she cuts them in half 'in case he chokes'. She offered one to DS and I let him have one whole (they are tiny). "OMG you give him them WHOLE! What if he chokes!" Lol, if she saw him self-feeding bananas, pears, mini sandwiches etc she would be shocked.

The worst choking incident we had was on smooth jar food, figure that out







And talking of that, I've had numerous people telling me it was 'best' for DS! Some people really don't do any research do they lol


----------



## smeisnotapirate

At a dinner, with my 6mo and a group of adults (most my parents' age or older):

Toby starts crying.
Lady: I can feed him, if you want.
Me: (snorting a bit) Not unless you lactate, you can't!
Lady: No, I meant his bottle. I can give him the bottle.
Me: I don't have one.
Lady: Well how is he going to eat?
Me: He gets it from the tap.
Lady: Right, but you're not going to do it HERE.









I did.


----------



## FarmerCathy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *micah_mae_* 
She also made tons of comments about how _most_ black people are criminals and we (we meaning white people) shouldn't "mate" with them. I just looked at her like she was crazy.

If only everyone knew we were all black at some point.


----------



## Livviesmom0207

momo7 said:


> It's the miniature pot belly pig right? They get as big as a medium sized dog.....very well mannered....and litter box trainable......although I probably wouldn't let it have precidence over my children in that way (or anyway) but they are cute and sweet still.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> The pig weighs almost 200 pounds. I wouldn't call that miniature or medium sized. It is a pot belly though, yes. He's not very well mannered either, he screams and snorts constantly. I do believe he is litter trained and he is cute though.


----------



## Funny Face

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 
At a dinner, with my 6mo and a group of adults (most my parents' age or older):

Toby starts crying.
Lady: I can feed him, if you want.
Me: (snorting a bit) Not unless you lactate, you can't!
Lady: No, I meant his bottle. I can give him the bottle.
Me: I don't have one.
Lady: Well how is he going to eat?
Me: He gets it from the tap.
Lady: Right, but you're not going to do it HERE.









I did.









What a great response!


----------



## ramlita

:


----------



## Super Glue Mommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *moodyred01* 
Someone told me I'd better supplement with formula from the beginning otherwise the baby might begin to prefer breastmilk and wouldn't take formula later on.







:


Thanks for the laugh! I had to laugh out loud at this one!!!


----------



## Super Glue Mommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *veronika01* 
wow! Some of these comments are so rude! I can't believe it.

Here's my contribution. We started going to a homeschooling group and my son got into some things he wasn't supposed to while playing outside. Like a 4 yr old should know not to throw toys in the pool while the pool is littered with rocks and toys! Anyway, i knew he was a handfull and apologized. Next thing i know they started phoning me (and admitted to gossiping about me) and started talking about my children's salvation (i'm a christian, but this was sooooo over the top!) and how my children will go to hell if i didn't start spanking them immediately! Then they asked me if i'd ever given him (my son) a good hiding. I said we didn't spank anymore, stopped that years ago because it wasn't what we wanted, plus it didn't work to discipline my children. The woman then proceeds to tell me that i spanked him the wrong way! She said i should spank him until he started crying over being in pain from the spanking and not because he was in trouble. Wow oh wow! Needless to say, we never went back to the homeschool group.

that is terrible and extremely heartbreaking


----------



## Honey693

I got told Saturday my baby looks like a drunken sailor. I had no idea how to reply to that one.


----------



## ginadc

Looks like, or walks like? I often commented that DD walked like a drunken sailor when she was taking her early steps. I think that's something people say often about lurching toddlers...


----------



## Honey693

looks like. She's only 4.5 months.


----------



## momo7

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Crystal_R* 
I got told Saturday my baby looks like a drunken sailor. I had no idea how to reply to that one.

I've seen drunken saiors....and even though I haven't seen your baby...I know for sure she doesn't look like one.


----------



## sea_joy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Pastrydemon* 
It always irked me a bit when DH's extended family would comment on DD's speedy running, etc. by asking if DH was athletic....huh? No? Then where did that come from (*ahem* -- me maybe?) My stupid MIL even asked "where DD's lovely blue eyes came from. DUH! Looking right at you!

I know! my daughter looks like me when I was a kid, but my husband's family was so quick to claim her that they wondered about her "green-grey-blue eyes" and NEVER bothered to look at mine. Ugh. Also, being stubborn, creative and musical apparently all being to his family, not me.

Crystal


----------



## sea_joy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hippie Mama in MI* 
My in laws have discovered that my 20mo ds will sit in front of the TV show "Little Bear" for hours, if he's allowed. (They discovered this while I was not around, believe you me!) Now, every time we come over they instantly put "Little Bear" on. They've even taped hours of episodes for us to take home.

I feel like saying, "Great idea! Why play with him or talk to him, when you can just turn on the Amazing Brainwashing Machine and turn him into a walleyed zombie all afternoon? No wonder my husband never goes outside!"

For us this is Dora! When we go see my IL's and they don;t really want to play, they distract her with the cunning use of TV! It pisses me off so I let it go on for a few minutes, and remind my MIL when my DD walks away that kids her age shouldn't have the "attention span" to sit and stare. It certainly doesn't make them better! (it doesn't make them worse either







) My 7 mo son will stare at the TV til the cows come home and my IL's think this is cute. Good think we're (my DH and I) are around to police.


----------



## SquishyKitty

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 







For all the government's work in trying to convince people to vax, they certainly do a lousy job of educating people on how vaxes are supposed to work.

I think it falls on the parent to research and know prior to the kid getting the injections, and knowing how they work.


----------



## Maggirayne

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Crystal_R* 
I got told Saturday my baby looks like a drunken sailor. I had no idea how to reply to that one.

Were they referring to that happy-milk drunk look babies get?
I love that look. Ahh, mama's milk!







:


----------



## TwinsTwicePlusTwo

I've read a lot of this thread. It's so funny.

Here are a few of the better comments from my MIL (if you want to call her that, she's no relation to my partners and almost the same age as me).

"If you don't hit your kids, they'll never leave home."
"Only poor women and Mexicans breastfeed."
"If you don't get a cesarean, no man will ever enjoy sex with you again." (because I'd be too stretched out







)
"You're still having sex with her?! That's disgusting! She looks like a cow!" (said about me to my partners, in front of me, when I was 36 weeks pregnant with twins)

One of her usual greetings to me is "Oh, look, you're wearing shoes"--as opposed to being barefoot and pregnant. She also constantly tells me to hire a nanny, because only poor women raise their own children.

She insists that my son Trent and my daughter Melanie were actually fathered by my best friend, not my partners, because they have blue eyes. The irony is that she's a very intelligent woman, who knows that it's possible (though highly unlikely) for fraternal twins to have different fathers. She knows exactly as much as she cares to know, actually. For the record, I know who Trent and Melanie's father is.









She thinks we should put an exterior lock on Jesse and Davin's door so they don't come into our room when they have nightmares. She also believes that my breastfeeding Jesse and Davin at such a late age will inevitably lead to me having an incestuous relationship with them when they start puberty. The most bizarre part of this belief is that she doesn't seem to find the idea offensive or disturbing; it's just a fact to her.

Maybe the strangest part is I actually don't mind my MIL in small doses. She's so crazy she amuses me to no end. What my FIL (who is brilliant, wonderful, great with the kids, and just generally awesome) sees in her is an ongoing mystery.


----------



## smeisnotapirate

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TwinsTwicePlusTwo* 
Maybe the strangest part is I actually don't mind my MIL in small doses. She's so crazy she amuses me to no end. What my FIL (who is brilliant, wonderful, great with the kids, and just generally awesome) sees in her is an ongoing mystery.











I feel the same about my mother sometimes - and definitely about my father.


----------



## BarefootScientist

I have been subscribed to this thread since I started, and I just have to say














to this post, especially the bolded parts.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TwinsTwicePlusTwo* 
Here are a few of the better comments from my MIL (if you want to call her that, she's no relation to my partners and almost the same age as me).

"If you don't hit your kids, they'll never leave home."
"Only poor women and Mexicans breastfeed."
"If you don't get a cesarean, no man will ever enjoy sex with you again." (because I'd be too stretched out







)
*"You're still having sex with her?! That's disgusting! She looks like a cow!" (said about me to my partners, in front of me, when I was 36 weeks pregnant with twins)*

One of her usual greetings to me is "Oh, look, you're wearing shoes"--as opposed to being barefoot and pregnant. She also constantly tells me to hire a nanny, because only poor women raise their own children.

*She insists that my son Trent and my daughter Melanie were actually fathered by my best friend,* not my partners, because they have blue eyes. The irony is that she's a very intelligent woman, who knows that it's possible (though highly unlikely) for fraternal twins to have different fathers. She knows exactly as much as she cares to know, actually. For the record, I know who Trent and Melanie's father is.









She thinks we should put an exterior lock on Jesse and Davin's door so they don't come into our room when they have nightmares. She also believes that my breastfeeding Jesse and Davin at such a late age will inevitably lead to me having an incestuous relationship with them when they start puberty. The most bizarre part of this belief is that she doesn't seem to find the idea offensive or disturbing; it's just a fact to her.

I'm glad you're able to tolerate her...lol.


----------



## mamarootoo

we go to a u-cut christmas tree farm, and my my dad wanted me to let my 18 month old DD help cut down the christmas tree!

i said no, and he got irritated and said "why not?" in a really snarky way. i actually had to explain to him that being near a saw under a 9 foot tree that is going to fall down, is not a safe place for a baby.

*sigh


----------



## amberskyfire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Seasons* 
HANDS DOWN THE STUPIDEST EVER:

"Children need fathers."










Sorry, not funny at all, but definitely the worst/dumbest thing anyone has ever said to me about parenting.

I agree! I HATE HATE HATE when people tell me that only one woman married happily to one man forever and ever is the only way to make a child turn out okay. I get so angry at people who tell me (and I hear it from parents in the natural family community ALL THE TIME) that my stepdaughter will be messed up because her father lives in another state or that my daughter is going to be screwed up because her dad isn't a super involved father.

There are all kinds of families, people. Some kids have no parents, some have two moms or two dads. Some kids never have a mother or never have a father. Some kids are adopted. Some are raised by their grandparents. Some are even raised by a sibling. There are biracial families and gay families and step families. The whole world is made up of all kinds of wonderful families. Kids have turned out both wonderful and horrible from being in every type of setting. It's got nothing to do with having a mom and a dad to live with every day.

It's enough to make me want to slap people and tell them to grow the heck up and join the real world!


----------



## amberskyfire

My MIL always wants to buy things for the baby (she's one of those who expresses her love in cookies and trying to give more presents at Christmas than her grandkids' parents) and when I remind her that it has to be cloth diapers or only cotton clothing, no plastic toys, etc., she ALWAYS tells me "well, then I won't be able to get as much stuff for the baby, so just don't expect a lot."

Yes. Because all my baby wants and needs is piles and piles of cheap junk. Thanks, Grandma.









Another one that I get all of the time is that I shouldn't get my parenting advice from online because just ANYONE can say whatever they want on there. Yeah, like not ANYONE can just write a book. Ferber, anyone?

Lastly, my husband really, truly, and honestly believes that all of those things you have to take safety precautions with your children for "don't really happen." He gave the baby some coins (when she was 8 months old!) to push around on her tray and wasn't watching her at all. When I ran over and snatched them away and yelled at him that she could choke on them, he said: "no, those kinds of things don't actually happen." He thinks babies won't choke on anything or that they won't put things into electric sockets, etc. And if I hear him tell me not to put the baby in the car seat because we are "just going right down the road" ONE MORE TIME, I am going to lose it, I swear!


----------



## organicpapayamama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wild fire child* 
My MIL insisted the whole time I was pg that the best thing for teething is milk bones...dog biscuits, from the store, just like you'd buy for the dog.
Baby was born and she got word I thought that was a terrible idea, so she told it to me again but said she made them from scratch. Like I had forgotten that she said that? Nice lie.

She also says that when DH was a baby his doctor told her that every time he got the hiccups it meant he was growing. I smiled and nodded, and a few weeks later she said that every time DH got hiccups he grew an inch...if this baby grew an inch each time he'd be four feet tall by now!

I had to add that my mothers side of the family (uncles aunts and so forth) told me from the moment DS was born that every time he hiccuped it was because he was cold. Did I mention it was 98 degrees and he was sweaty the whole time I was visiting them?! obviously full of crap but they were on top of me like I was putting DS in danger... I finally had to say that I didnt believe that and that he was actually hot.


----------



## Mamafreya

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
Lastly, my husband really, truly, and honestly believes that all of those things you have to take safety precautions with your children for "don't really happen." He gave the baby some coins (when she was 8 months old!) to push around on her tray and wasn't watching her at all. When I ran over and snatched them away and yelled at him that she could choke on them, he said: "no, those kinds of things don't actually happen." He thinks babies won't choke on anything or that they won't put things into electric sockets, etc. And if I hear him tell me not to put the baby in the car seat because we are "just going right down the road" ONE MORE TIME, I am going to lose it, I swear!

Okay, this way off topic but I just have to say this.









Tell your husband that those things really truly do happen. Not something to mess around with.
When I was about 10ish my little sister(almost 2, maybe younger) found a marble on the floor and was choking on it. I'm talking like purple face choking and my mom had to do the heimlich maneuver on her. That marble literally shot across the room. I can remember my sister gasping for air and my mom sitting down on the floor and sobbing.

Also, when one of my little brothers was of crawling age (I was 12ish) we had a electrical socket on the wall under the table that for some reason didn't have a cover on it. Of course my bro found a fork and was planning on putting the fork in the socket when my dad saw him and let out this huge yell. My little brother was startled and let go of the fork just as the prongs made contact, so he wasn't hurt. We had a fire and a huge black mark on the wall because of it. If my little brother had been touching that stupid fork he could've died. I mean it shorted out our whole house and we had to have the wiring redone for that outlet. Scary stuff.

Because of those two things I am so uptight about choking and outlets. LOL.

Okay, back to the discussion. Sorry to hijack for a second.


----------



## ramlita

Thank you for sharing! Definitely good reminders.


----------



## amberskyfire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mamafreya* 
Okay, this way off topic but I just have to say this.









Tell your husband that those things really truly do happen. Not something to mess around with.
When I was about 10ish my little sister(almost 2, maybe younger) found a marble on the floor and was choking on it. I'm talking like purple face choking and my mom had to do the heimlich maneuver on her. That marble literally shot across the room. I can remember my sister gasping for air and my mom sitting down on the floor and sobbing.

Also, when one of my little brothers was of crawling age (I was 12ish) we had a electrical socket on the wall under the table that for some reason didn't have a cover on it. Of course my bro found a fork and was planning on putting the fork in the socket when my dad saw him and let out this huge yell. My little brother was startled and let go of the fork just as the prongs made contact, so he wasn't hurt. We had a fire and a huge black mark on the wall because of it. If my little brother had been touching that stupid fork he could've died. I mean it shorted out our whole house and we had to have the wiring redone for that outlet. Scary stuff.

Because of those two things I am so uptight about choking and outlets. LOL.

Okay, back to the discussion. Sorry to hijack for a second.

So scary! My little brother did the same thing, but with a key. He WAS holding the key when it connected, though. He got shocked pretty bad and my mom was freaked out, but he was totally okay. It was a miracle. There was a huge black spot on the wall around the outlet forever after that where the plastic and paint had melted.

Scary stuff!


----------



## yasinsmama

DS was a c-section baby, so he sneezed a lot. My IL's kept telling me he had a cold.







:

He also had the hiccups a lot when he was a few weeks old (had them tons in my belly too). IL's kept telling me to give him water, at 2 weeks old.







:

I put ds on his tummy on the floor when he was about 3 weeks old, and I sat next to him. FIL said he was wondering when I was ever going to let him sleep on his tummy.







:


----------



## Mamafreya

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
So scary! My little brother did the same thing, but with a key. He WAS holding the key when it connected, though. He got shocked pretty bad and my mom was freaked out, but he was totally okay. It was a miracle. There was a huge black spot on the wall around the outlet forever after that where the plastic and paint had melted.

Scary stuff!

Holy cow! Thank goodness your little brother was okay. Jeez. I think outlet sockets must be like a blinking neon sign to a baby/toddler. It's like a temptation too great to resist. It's like there's a little voice in their heads going, "must stick something in there".


----------



## crazycandigirl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
So scary! My little brother did the same thing, but with a key. He WAS holding the key when it connected, though. He got shocked pretty bad and my mom was freaked out, but he was totally okay. It was a miracle. There was a huge black spot on the wall around the outlet forever after that where the plastic and paint had melted.

Scary stuff!

When I was 9 months old I stuck a metal crucifix into a socket like that. It shocked me and threw me back a few feet. It also left a huge black spot around the outlet. My mom kept the crucifix and it is all burnt and the bottom of the cross is slightly melted. It is amazing that I was alright.

I think that the reason children stick things in outlets is that they look like key holes. My baby is on my hip and sees me use keys all the time, so I assume it is a mimicking kind of behavior. this is a little off topic- sorry...


----------



## KJoslyn78

OH - i'll contribute my best MIL story... well 1 tidbit (not parenting related) and 1 story

the tidbit - DH (who was DF at the time) called his mom to tell him that i had accepted his proposal of marriage... and the FIRST words out of her mouth (and mind you - we had never meet at this point - she didnt even know ANYTHING about me ask Dh was more or less raised by his aunt) was "Is she pregnant".... wow... nice huh?

The story... when i was pregnant with ds, i forwarned my in-laws, who hold a pig roast every year, that due to having 2 prior c/s - the hospital would only allow me to have a repeat c/s and not a VBAC (i didnt have the balls to stand up to them then - man i wish i did!)... and that with my due date being 6/16/06, i would likely have the surgery that friday. Obviously if i'm in the hospital having a baby, we wouldnt be coming to any events.

Anyways, because my SIL and her husband were paying for the pig and all - we had to go with their off dates from the military... which was for the same weekend i would be spend in the hospital. Ok, no hard feelings from me - i get that we can't get the US Navy to work around my baby's schedule - LOL... right?

Well, that wasn't good enough for my MIL... oh no. She told me "Well, you could always have the baby the weekend before, and then you guys can come to the pig roast the next weekend"

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT... like i want to go keep on a sleeping bag on hard earth less then a week having major abdomial surgery, swollen as hell (i did after all 3 kids - swelled like 15 pounds of water weight from having surgery and it lasts like 2 weeks), fighting thrush (me and baby) cause of the antibiotics from having surgery, getting breastfeeding established (amamzing - no problem in me BFing, or co-sleeping, babywearing, cloth diapering...) just so we can hang around a bunch of drunk, smoking, fighting UVAs. Yeah, i want my week old baby around that! GAHHHHHHHHHHHH

And no - they couldn't be bothered to visit us in the hospital that weekend either cause her "precious", youngest dd, who was pg and due in 4 months, couldn't be bothered and if she wasnt going to go, no one was. They couldn't even be bothered to call us... DH ended up calling them


----------



## diaperqueen

Quote:


Originally Posted by *yasinsmama* 
DS was a c-section baby, so he sneezed a lot.

Just asking--what would cause a c-section baby to sneeze a lot? Mine were both c-sections, and I've never heard of this.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *diaperqueen* 
Just asking--what would cause a c-section baby to sneeze a lot? Mine were both c-sections, and I've never heard of this.

From getting aspirated to get out the fluid, I'd guess.


----------



## minkajane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *diaperqueen* 
Just asking--what would cause a c-section baby to sneeze a lot? Mine were both c-sections, and I've never heard of this.

It's because they don't get the squeeze to get all the fluids out from the vagina. So they're sneezing out all that excess fluid and gunk. Same reason babies have a higher risk of breathing problems after a C-section.


----------



## nudhistbudhist

I was workingas a bartender while we were trying to conceive, and as soon as I got pregnant, I quit. All my coworkers (who are dear friends of mine) were laughing at me for my organic pregnancy ways, like all the organic food, no nail polish, etc etc. They teased me constantly for wanting a waterbirth at home, and for all kinds of things. While pregnant, I read Diaper Free baby, and was totally in to it. My friends thought that was the funniest, most disgusting thing they had ever heard, and WOULD NOT LET UP about it. THEY STARTED A POOL AT THE BAR, HOW MANY DAYS I WOULD TRY DIAPER FREE BEFORE I GAVE UP AND PUT HIM DIAPERS. I'm serious!!!! I couldnt beleive it. Bets were between minutes and weeks. NO ONE EVEN BET 1 MONTH!!!!

I ended up with an unplanned Csection (no homebirth







i'm sad ) so I didnt start till I could physically lift my baby into position, but once we started, we never stopped. Now he's been accident free for about 3 months, and he's only 6 months old. It's great to pee my baby on the potty while asking my gf how many years she changed poopy diapers for. (three kids, three years each, so thats what, 9 years of wiping poop out of cracks and crevices? shudder). I never would have rubbed it in, but THEY WERE TAKING BETS!!!!! lol She said "I got to hand it to you. I didnt think it could be done. I thought you ate some tainteed granola or something!"


----------



## diaperqueen

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
It's because they don't get the squeeze to get all the fluids out from the vagina. So they're sneezing out all that excess fluid and gunk. Same reason babies have a higher risk of breathing problems after a C-section.

Ok--that actually does make sense.


----------



## sewcool

i had someone tell me to give my son a porkchop bone to chew on while teething.

and no i did not do it


----------



## emamum

ive had lots of people tell me all my ds needs is a good slap to make him behave (he has aspergers!!)

one aunty told me breast feeding boys turns them into hooligans that set fire to bus stops and i would need to stop

not really parenting but my aunty offered to come and pay for an abortion and go with me, if thats what was worrying me when i told her i was pregnant this time!

im 40 weeks on monday and the baby looks like a big one, i was telling my nan that i wasnt getting newborn clothes but just buying 0-3 and she said i should have carried on smoking then i wouldnt be having this problem and the birth would be easier!!

ive had people that didnt even try to breast feed giving me breastfeeding advice....apart from the fact that i have a qualification in child diet and nutrition which covers breastfeeding and means i am able to advise new mothers i also breastfed ds for 2 years! aparently i will regret not having any bottles or formula when the baby is screaming that its hungry and i cant feed it...... my reply?? since when did giving birth cause your boobs to fall off?


----------



## holothuroidea

Quote:


Originally Posted by *emamum* 
one aunty told me breast feeding boys turns them into hooligans that set fire to bus stops and i would need to stop

ROFLMAO

WHY BUS STOPS!?!?!









ohhh that is just too funny


----------



## Lexy

The absolute dumbest thing ever said to me was by the mom so far.
I'm very English, but my boyfriend is bilingual and it really helps him out on a day to day basis.
I told my mom I wanted our kids to be bilingual too and she told me it was useless - this coming from a woman that didn't want me to learn French because she can't speak it. Her overall ignorance annoys the freekin' crap out of me.


----------



## KJoslyn78

Lexy, that made about as much sense as my dad telling me that since we live in upstate NY - i should learn French because we are so close to the Canadian border (i took spanish in high school)


----------



## Kappa

Ok, so I generally send my baby with a book, and a noisemaker for on-the-go type toys. We went to my DH's aunt house, and I didn't want him to touch any of her stuff, so I brought his book for a distraction. Do you know what Auntie told me???? "That is old fashioned, now they have DVDs that teach them. They learn from TV, so and so shows her kids X show and they are reading?" Almost without thinking, I said "Reading what?" She didn't answer the question.


----------



## TopHat

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kappa* 
Almost without thinking, I said "Reading what?" She didn't answer the question.

I wish I could have seen her face!


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kappa* 
Almost without thinking, I said "Reading what?" She didn't answer the question.

The TV Guide?


----------



## mormontreehugger

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Crystal_R* 
My grandmother absolutely hates how much I hold Ella and I get all sorts of parenting "gems" when we visit. The last time I was over there I made my brother go with so I wouldn't have to deal with it alone. Ella slept the whole time so I left her in her car seat b/c I was not about to wake a sleeping baby. Carseat = not holding so I wasn't prepared for the advice to kick in. I was still told several times that all my holding her is going to make her spine grow crooked and I need to put her down on the floor so she can stretch. Otherwise she's going to be a hunchback cripple. We called her hunchie the cripple child all day, terrible I know, but i had to laugh or lose it on an 81 year old woman) and now every time I call my brother he asks how his hunchbacked niece is.

That's terrible! And I cannot stop laughing at it!


----------



## rhubarbarin

This thread.. oh boy. If people are really this obnoxious about parenting I might become a hermit when I have kids!


----------



## smeisnotapirate

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rhubarbarin* 
This thread.. oh boy. If people are really this obnoxious about parenting I might become a hermit when I have kids!

Having children can certainly bring out the worst in people, that's for sure.

For a little touch of balance, I have a man in my choir who gets moony-eyed every time he sees my DS/I talk about my DS. He talks about his grown kids, and says he wishes his ex-wife would have let him have more (he has 2, wanted at least 5). He loves everything about parenting and compliments every mother/father he sees on something. He can always find the best in a parent, even if they're at their worst. Love that guy.









I got a gem last night.
"So how long are you planning to nurse him? He's almost a year old now." (he's 9mo)
Me: "Well, the WHO recommends a minimum of two years......"
"Well SURE, but that's for people in like AFRICA where they don't have clothes or food or vaccines or water!"


----------



## mormontreehugger

This is more in regards to pregnancy but...
When I found out I was pg, I called the health clinic to set up the appt so they could do the less sophisticated test than the one I took so they could "prove" I was actually pg... and the lady says "Well, we'll find out if you're pg or not, and then if you decide to keep it we'll set you up with an OB." I had NEVER heard THAT one before. I was asked TWO MORE TIMES while going to initial appts. I guess they saw the look of horror on my face (i'm not exactly the stereotypical candidate for using abortion as birth control---I'm 27 yrs old, and in a stable married relationship and the rank to have a good financial base, not in a dangerous field etc etc) and said "Oh we have to ask that, cuz not everyone wants to keep it you know."
All I could think was why on earth wouldn't someone SAY something on their OWN if they didn't want to keep it? When did it become a routine question for ALL expecting mothers? It totally killed my finally i'm pg! buzz...
I heard about a Navy couple (both were Navy) who were ENCOURAGED numerous times when they were going to their first appts to have an abortion. I guess it's too hard? to have a baby in the military or something.


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mormontreehugger* 
This is more in regards to pregnancy but...
When I found out I was pg, I called the health clinic to set up the appt so they could do the less sophisticated test than the one I took so they could "prove" I was actually pg... and the lady says "Well, we'll find out if you're pg or not, and then if you decide to keep it we'll set you up with an OB." I had NEVER heard THAT one before. I was asked TWO MORE TIMES while going to initial appts. I guess they saw the look of horror on my face (i'm not exactly the stereotypical candidate for using abortion as birth control---I'm 27 yrs old, and in a stable married relationship and the rank to have a good financial base, not in a dangerous field etc etc) and said "Oh we have to ask that, cuz not everyone wants to keep it you know."
All I could think was why on earth wouldn't someone SAY something on their OWN if they didn't want to keep it? When did it become a routine question for ALL expecting mothers? It totally killed my finally i'm pg! buzz...
I heard about a Navy couple (both were Navy) who were ENCOURAGED numerous times when they were going to their first appts to have an abortion. I guess it's too hard? to have a baby in the military or something.

Actually...I was going to enlist in the Air Force with DH. We went down to processing together for the physicals and whatnot. The first thing they did with the women was the urine test (drugs and HcG) and I popped up pregnant. (Yes, that's how I found out) Anyway, I went BACK in to see the doctor so he could sign off that I was disqualified and the first question out of his mouth was, "Do you plan on keeping the baby?"

My brother also knew a girl that suddenly got DQ'd to enter the Marines for "medical reasons." However, 6 months later she was eligible again. As far as I know, pregnancy is the only medical issue that can "clear up" so to speak and allow you to try to enlist again...

So yeah, it happens.


----------



## the_lissa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mormontreehugger* 
This is more in regards to pregnancy but...
When I found out I was pg, I called the health clinic to set up the appt so they could do the less sophisticated test than the one I took so they could "prove" I was actually pg... and the lady says "Well, we'll find out if you're pg or not, and then if you decide to keep it we'll set you up with an OB." I had NEVER heard THAT one before. I was asked TWO MORE TIMES while going to initial appts. I guess they saw the look of horror on my face (i'm not exactly the stereotypical candidate for using abortion as birth control---I'm 27 yrs old, and in a stable married relationship and the rank to have a good financial base, not in a dangerous field etc etc) and said "Oh we have to ask that, cuz not everyone wants to keep it you know."
All I could think was why on earth wouldn't someone SAY something on their OWN if they didn't want to keep it? When did it become a routine question for ALL expecting mothers? It totally killed my finally i'm pg! buzz...
I heard about a Navy couple (both were Navy) who were ENCOURAGED numerous times when they were going to their first appts to have an abortion. I guess it's too hard? to have a baby in the military or something.

Actually older women in a stable married relationship are the largest group of women who have abortions.

I think it is a very valid question to ask. SOme people are embarrassed, blah blah blah.


----------



## KJoslyn78

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mormontreehugger* 
This is more in regards to pregnancy but...
When I found out I was pg, I called the health clinic to set up the appt so they could do the less sophisticated test than the one I took so they could "prove" I was actually pg... and the lady says "Well, we'll find out if you're pg or not, and then if you decide to keep it we'll set you up with an OB." I had NEVER heard THAT one before. I was asked TWO MORE TIMES while going to initial appts. I guess they saw the look of horror on my face (i'm not exactly the stereotypical candidate for using abortion as birth control---I'm 27 yrs old, and in a stable married relationship and the rank to have a good financial base, not in a dangerous field etc etc) and said "Oh we have to ask that, cuz not everyone wants to keep it you know."
All I could think was why on earth wouldn't someone SAY something on their OWN if they didn't want to keep it? When did it become a routine question for ALL expecting mothers? It totally killed my finally i'm pg! buzz...
I heard about a Navy couple (both were Navy) who were ENCOURAGED numerous times when they were going to their first appts to have an abortion. I guess it's too hard? to have a baby in the military or something.

that's terrible! I could see asking 1 time, then marking it on your chart and being done with it... but over and over.. it's over kill!


----------



## accountclosed2

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mormontreehugger* 
This is more in regards to pregnancy but...
When I found out I was pg, I called the health clinic to set up the appt so they could do the less sophisticated test than the one I took so they could "prove" I was actually pg... and the lady says "Well, we'll find out if you're pg or not, and then if you decide to keep it we'll set you up with an OB." I had NEVER heard THAT one before. I was asked TWO MORE TIMES while going to initial appts. I guess they saw the look of horror on my face (i'm not exactly the stereotypical candidate for using abortion as birth control---I'm 27 yrs old, and in a stable married relationship and the rank to have a good financial base, not in a dangerous field etc etc) and said "Oh we have to ask that, cuz not everyone wants to keep it you know."
All I could think was why on earth wouldn't someone SAY something on their OWN if they didn't want to keep it? When did it become a routine question for ALL expecting mothers? It totally killed my finally i'm pg! buzz...
I heard about a Navy couple (both were Navy) who were ENCOURAGED numerous times when they were going to their first appts to have an abortion. I guess it's too hard? to have a baby in the military or something.

They certainly don't have to ask it that way! When I got pregnant, my family (in Sweden) kept pushing me to go to the doctor to get it confirmed, which I did (after choosing my midwife, as is done here). Not that I actually saw the doctor, but the nurse got me a test (yes, probably less sensitive than the one I took 12 days dpo), and when she saw it was positive, she asked "Is that a good thing?". A bit more discreet, I think, and a good way to find out if there is more to talk about! However, I think the only reasons women would go to the doctor in this situation, would be if the pregnancy was unwanted, or if they didn't believe the result of a home preg test, or if they couldn't afford a preg test (first prenatal visit is free, even with family drs or OBs, midwives are free all through, as is birth in hospital or at home. And well-baby visits, usually with nurses).


----------



## accountclosed2

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 
Having children can certainly bring out the worst in people, that's for sure.

I got a gem last night.
"So how long are you planning to nurse him? He's almost a year old now." (he's 9mo)
Me: "Well, the WHO recommends a minimum of two years......"
"Well SURE, but that's for people in like AFRICA where they don't have clothes or food or vaccines or water!"









I get that from my parents as well - they are quite supportive of nursing (mum breastfed me for 10 months, although she started me on solids at 3 months). They are convinced babies in the developed world do not need breastmilk after the first 6 months or possibly a few months more, they should get all from "real food". DD doesn't agree.


----------



## Kim Allen

gmil and i dont get along at all. Everything i do she tries to make it out like i am wrong. I breastfed ds till he was 2. at 18 months she tells me that the reason he is so sick all the time is that he is allergic to my breastmilk!!! He was healthy as an ox!!! she just makes up the stupidest things and i love just waiting to see what she says next!!! Like also when he was a weak old ds had baby acne from heat! she told me he was allergic (seems to be her reason for everything) And that he had hives.She also commented on how when i leave him with her she is going to make him catnip tea to treat his hives. Ummm no thank you i dont ever intend to leave him with anyone especially her!


----------



## Mommy2Austin

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kim Allen* 
gmil and i dont get along at all. Everything i do she tries to make it out like i am wrong. I breastfed ds till he was 2. at 18 months she tells me that the reason he is so sick all the time is that he is allergic to my breastmilk!!! He was healthy as an ox!!! she just makes up the stupidest things and i love just waiting to see what she says next!!! Like also when he was a weak old ds had baby acne from heat! she told me he was allergic (seems to be her reason for everything) And that he had hives.She also commented on how when i leave him with her she is going to make him catnip tea to treat his hives. Ummm no thank you i dont ever intend to leave him with anyone especially her!

Why is it people think we're going to jump at the chance to leave our children with them after they admit they are going to do something we wouldn't agree to? Drives me bonkers


----------



## mormontreehugger

the_lissa said:


> Actually older women in a stable married relationship are the largest group of women who have abortions.
> 
> QUOTE]
> 
> Wow. I didn't know that... I guess I'd assume it would be people who are in situations where they just couldn't take care of a baby, or maybe younger women who accidentally got pg and had demanding careers or something...
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *AislinCarys*
> They certainly don't have to ask it that way! When I got pregnant, my family (in Sweden) kept pushing me to go to the doctor to get it confirmed, which I did (after choosing my midwife, as is done here). Not that I actually saw the doctor, but the nurse got me a test (yes, probably less sensitive than the one I took 12 days dpo), and when she saw it was positive, she asked "Is that a good thing?". A bit more discreet, I think, and a good way to find out if there is more to talk about! However, I think the only reasons women would go to the doctor in this situation, would be if the pregnancy was unwanted, or if they didn't believe the result of a home preg test, or if they couldn't afford a preg test (first prenatal visit is free, even with family drs or OBs, midwives are free all through, as is birth in hospital or at home. And well-baby visits, usually with nurses).
> 
> See now, THAT I would have totally been fine with. I just think it's horribly sad and depressing that it's gotten to the point where so many people want to get rid of their potential children that they think they have to ask everyone who walks in the front door... Not trying to judge or stand on a soapbox, it's just really sad for me.


----------



## hollyvangogh

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mormontreehugger* 

Quote:


Originally Posted by *the_lissa* 
Actually older women in a stable married relationship are the largest group of women who have abortions.


I just think it's horribly sad and depressing that it's gotten to the point where so many people want to get rid of their potential children that they think they have to ask everyone who walks in the front door...

That's not the only interpretation of the data (which, BTW, I'd love to have a link to read more about it please - sincerely, not snarky). Older women, after all, are probably more likely to have a pregnancy terminated for medical reasons, right?


----------



## Lady Lilya

Quote:

"If you don't hit your kids, they'll never leave home."
That's funny. I was never hit, and I was out of the house at 18. My sister was hit a few times, and she is still there at 24.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *organicpapayamama* 
I had to add that my mothers side of the family (uncles aunts and so forth) told me from the moment DS was born that every time he hiccuped it was because he was cold. Did I mention it was 98 degrees and he was sweaty the whole time I was visiting them?! obviously full of crap but they were on top of me like I was putting DS in danger... I finally had to say that I didnt believe that and that he was actually hot.

My baby did get hiccups a lot from being cold, though I can't imagine how one causes the other. But he mostly gets them from laughing a lot.

Quote:

Guy at my husband's job: Tell your wife to get a c-section so your kid can have a nice round head.
My kid has a nice, round head. It was very coneshaped at birth, but became very round in the weeks after. I think that might have had something to do with being in different positions all the time (rather than laying on his back 24/7, which could lead to a flat head).

Quote:

...and told her I don't know how people go around using disposables. I find them obnoxious as well as environmentally destructive. They're flimsy, leak, stink (BEFORE anything's put in them), and stick to the poor kid's private parts....
I used disposables before I switched to cloth. I was using the Seventh Generation brand ones. They never stuck to his parts. (I peeked a lot. He is a frequent pooper, so I look all the time to see if he needs a change.)

------

I have read a lot of the funny stuff in this thread to my DH. A few days ago, our 19mo caught a stomach virus. DH joked "maybe your milk has gone bad and that is making him sick."


----------



## frontierpsych

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 
"Well SURE, but that's for people in like AFRICA where they don't have clothes or food or vaccines or water!"










There's no water in Africa?!


----------



## PatienceAndLove

Some of the "tips" from others that you ladies provided reminded me of thses links:

http://curiousphotos.blogspot.com/20...safe-baby.html

http://www.c00lstuff.com/1133/Do_s_a...s_with_babies/


----------



## Minerva

Quote:

Guy at my husband's job: Tell your wife to get a c-section so your kid can have a nice round head.
True story:

After my now-toddler was born, you would not BELIEVE how many people needed to stop us while we were out and ask how well I was recovering from my c-section. "What c-section", I asked the first time, being quite puzzled.

"Well, she has such a nice round head, you must have had one."







:

Uh, no, she came fast and wasn't stuck there long enough to get the "cone-head" look.

To add to their horrified expression, I made sure to mention the lack of drugs involved in the birth, and that she was born at home. (Slightly mean, but I gotta get my kicks somehow!)


----------



## Smokering

Quote:

I got a gem last night.
"So how long are you planning to nurse him? He's almost a year old now." (he's 9mo)
Me: "Well, the WHO recommends a minimum of two years......"
"Well SURE, but that's for people in like AFRICA where they don't have clothes or food or vaccines or water!"
For all the virtues of breastfeeding, I'm not sure how it alleviates a lack of clothes....


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Smokering* 
For all the virtues of breastfeeding, I'm not sure how it alleviates a lack of clothes....

LOL I was breastfed and ran around naked (or half naked) all the time as a child


----------



## ernalala

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Minerva* 
True story: After my now-toddler was born, you would not BELIEVE how many people needed to stop us while we were out and ask how well I was recovering from my c-section. "What c-section", I asked the first time, being quite puzzled.
"Well, she has such a nice round head, you must have had one."







:
Uh, no, she came fast and wasn't stuck there long enough to get the "cone-head" look.

Well, when your baby HAS the very cone-head after birth (stuck 'too long' plus vaccuum extraction), people cannot help themselves and have to say sth about it and what it is that YOU must have done (or not done) to give your baby's head such a long/distorted shape







.

It didn't stop after the cone-headed look disappeared, because my children have the typical egg-shaped skull, while I found out when living here, that most (not all) people around here have another kind of skull which is 'flat' at the back. So the egg-shaped head stands out lol. Some ppl remark, based on the shape of their skulls, that my boys must become really clever persons







. You could take it as a compliment, but it's just real nonsense and it makes me laugh. Especially when the commentor has the flat-shaped skull type :nana:.


----------



## ernalala

Oh yes, and since a neighbour found some tiny purple-ish spots on my baby's head and neck, she was convinced I must have DROPPED my baby. I hadn't even really noticed or cared about these marks untill she mentioned. But well, yes when your obstetrician has been pulling and tugging at the head during a birth that ended in a vaccuum extraction, these must be a logical consequence. She was really stubbornly convinced that 'I must have dropped the baby'. Ugh.
That was not her first or her last 'great comment' btw.
I think some ppl just are so nosy and always feel the need to comment on everything just to be able to exercise their mouth muscles







.
Now, being really mean: she has the flatheaded skull lol.


----------



## karika

I bet this has been said already, but wow it is such a long thread... i will try to read it sometime soon... but i think the dumbest thing anyone can or ever did say is "The doctor knows best" they may know about body functions or wahtever, but for them to give any parenting advice is not their place and so many people think it is. they went to medical school, not baby raising school... which would be a 'third world' country to me... wherever they still gather water and live in huts and wear their babies...


----------



## kriket

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ernalala* 
she has the flatheaded skull lol.

hehe, I know what your talking about with the flat skull, I have the flat and horns skull, my whole family does!







we call it the Estridge horns.

Its easier to grasp kids by the head and re-driect them to something they won't wreck, you egg-head types are too slippery to get a good grasp on!


----------



## geiamama

O have heard some pretty stupid things in my time, mostly from my mother who said that "it was a good thing that you had to have a second c-section because it means you're still honeymoon fresh for your husband". Obviously raising his two children isn't enough!
But the one thing I heard that really did stop me in my tracks was on the first day walking my DS to school after DD was born...
DD was born with bright red, almost glowing hair and the palest blue eyes you have ever seen whilst DS and I have both got very dark hair, olive skin and hazel-brown eyes but still I wasn't expecting one of the dads on the playground to peer into the sling and say

*"One day she'll want to know who her real father is and you won't be able to tell her"*





































I just didn't know what to say. I can only assume that he was trying to be funny and it came out really wrong. DH was really mad, not to mention confused - DD is a ginger clone of him.


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *geiamama* 
O have heard some pretty stupid things in my time, mostly from my mother who said that "it was a good thing that you had to have a second c-section because it means you're still honeymoon fresh for your husband". Obviously raising his two children isn't enough!
But the one thing I heard that really did stop me in my tracks was on the first day walking my DS to school after DD was born...
DD was born with bright red, almost glowing hair and the palest blue eyes you have ever seen whilst DS and I have both got very dark hair, olive skin and hazel-brown eyes but still I wasn't expecting one of the dads on the playground to peer into the sling and say

*"One day she'll want to know who her real father is and you won't be able to tell her"*





































I just didn't know what to say. I can only assume that he was trying to be funny and it came out really wrong. DH was really mad, not to mention confused - DD is a ginger clone of him.

OMG HOW RUDE!

DH's family has genes like that...His mother is German and his father is Mexican so all of the boys were born with medium complexion and dark hair, except the last one. He's PALE with white blond hair and blue eyes. MIL said that numerous people gave her funny stares in the hospital.


----------



## ~Boudicca~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *geiamama* 
O have heard some pretty stupid things in my time, mostly from my mother who said that "it was a good thing that you had to have a second c-section because it means you're still honeymoon fresh for your husband".

_Honeymoon fresh!!_ You have got to be freaking kidding me. That sounds like a naughty bar of soap or something.


----------



## Shenjall

Quote:


Originally Posted by *honeydee* 
_Honeymoon fresh!!_ You have got to be freaking kidding me. That sounds like a naughty bar of soap or something.

Lol! I'm trying to figure out a way to work that term into conversation today. "Wow, this dinner is honeymoon fresh!"

Geiamama, please dont think I'm belittling the rude comment to you! Having people say mean things is horrible. Its just such a ridiculous term, I've never heard of it before.


----------



## ~Boudicca~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shenjall* 
Lol! I'm trying to figure out a way to work that term into conversation today. "Wow, this dinner is honeymoon fresh!"

Geiamama, please dont think I'm belittling the rude comment to you! Having people say mean things is horrible. Its just such a ridiculous term, I've never heard of it before.









: I find the term to be so utterly ridiculous I will have to use it in conversation today, like it's a new catch phrase.

"Hey babe, I shaved my legs today! Want to come home early because I am 'honeymoon fresh'!"








: This is going to crack me up all day long.


----------



## PatienceAndLove

Quote:


Originally Posted by *honeydee* 







: I find the term to be so utterly ridiculous I will have to use it in conversation today, like it's a new catch phrase.

"Hey babe, I shaved my legs today! Want to come home early because I am 'honeymoon fresh'!"








: This is going to crack me up all day long.

YES! That's perfect!


----------



## amlikam

Quote:


Originally Posted by *geiamama* 

DD was born with bright red, almost glowing hair and the palest blue eyes you have ever seen whilst DS and I have both got very dark hair, olive skin and hazel-brown eyes but still I wasn't expecting one of the dads on the playground to peer into the sling and say

"One day she'll want to know who her real father is and you won't be able to tell her"

Oh we get versions of this ALOT- funny BIL is a red head blue eyes and my mom was red head mixed with brown and my sister has blue eyes - but it couldn't possibly be we each passed on a ressesive trait?!

But I blow it off and say "oh our neighbor has red hair blue eyes" (which is true.)

The darn kicker of it- DD is NOT red headed and she has grey/hazel eyes.... But the nasty cradle cap gives the appearance of red hair!!









Ah well- some people just don't get it....

one time we were at dinner with friends (like 4 other couples) and someone we hadn't seen in awhile saw us and came over. Well they new perfectly well who my hubby was- but looks at DD and ask "Is she yours? She looks nothing like you" before DH could reply one of the other guys at the table chimed in and said- "We're not 100% sure yet, but we figure its less confusing if she believes he is her dad...."

What were they thinking







: Who asks those kind of questions- just tell me how cute the baby is and go back to your dinner......

Anyhow- now that's the running joke.


----------



## ramlita

Quote:


Originally Posted by *honeydee* 







: I find the term to be so utterly ridiculous I will have to use it in conversation today, like it's a new catch phrase.

"Hey babe, I shaved my legs today! Want to come home early because I am 'honeymoon fresh'!"








: This is going to crack me up all day long.


You rule.


----------



## smeisnotapirate

OMG, honeydee. "Still honeymoon fresh" sounds like a perfect Senior title or DDDC. Anyone have $2???


----------



## NaturalMindedMomma

OMG IF MY MOM KNEW EXACTLY HOW HONEYMOON FRESH I WAS ON MY HONEYMOON! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Someone once told me it was ok to leave my daughter while I ran just down the street to the corner store while she slept?????

Also to add cereal to her formula so she slept through the night...

Just to let her CIO


----------



## geiamama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shenjall* 
Lol! I'm trying to figure out a way to work that term into conversation today. "Wow, this dinner is honeymoon fresh!"

Geiamama, please dont think I'm belittling the rude comment to you! Having people say mean things is horrible. Its just such a ridiculous term, I've never heard of it before.

Not at all Shenjall - when my mother said it to me I laughed so hard I almost peed.

In fact she also said that I was "too posh to push" (a phrase bandyed about by the british press to describe celebrities that have elective c-sections) which my BF thought was so funny she put it on a name tag and gave it to me at the hospital!

My mother is lovely and really very supportive (honestly) she just as mad as a hatter!


----------



## LizLizard

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NaturalMindedMomma* 
OMG IF MY MOM KNEW EXACTLY HOW HONEYMOON FRESH I WAS ON MY HONEYMOON! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

LOL... sorry, still snickering at "honeymoon fresh"... that is totally the phrase of the day today.


----------



## ~Boudicca~

I am dying over here.

My dh just texted me to tell me he actually is coming home early tonight. And of course I told him that's great! Because I am honeymoon fresh!


----------



## KristyDi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *geiamama* 
DD was born with bright red, almost glowing hair and the palest blue eyes you have ever seen whilst DS and I have both got very dark hair, olive skin and hazel-brown eyes but still I wasn't expecting one of the dads on the playground to peer into the sling and say

*"One day she'll want to know who her real father is and you won't be able to tell her"*





































I just didn't know what to say. I can only assume that he was trying to be funny and it came out really wrong. DH was really mad, not to mention confused - DD is a ginger clone of him.

I have 2 good mommy friends with LOs just a few weeks older than my DD A's DH has bright red hair J's DS has bright red hair while both she and her DH have dark hair. Every. single. time. A's MIL sees J's DS she makes some comment about him really being A's DH's DS. J is very polite but I can see her thinking







: under her smile.
(did that alphabet soup make sense to anyone?)


----------



## ernalala

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kriket* 
hehe, I know what your talking about with the flat skull, I have the flat and horns skull, my whole family does!







we call it the Estridge horns.

Oh my!!!
One of my pregnancy nightmares(literally, like dream) was about my baby being born with HORNS loooooooooooooooooooooooool
laughup
Sorry, but you started about the horns hehe.


----------



## capagrl

Oh my gosh, you guys, I am literally laughing myself into tears over "Honeymoon Fresh!" WOW, just wow...

On topic, my 4th DS looks like DH except that he's got pale skin, light brown/blond hair, and huge blue eyes. DH has green eyes and I have brown (and am dark skinned & dark haired), but I just tell people I used an online eye color predictor and there was a 6.2% chance he'd be born with blue eyes. We call him our little genetic winner (since there was such a slim chance of him looking like he does). I guess when the child doesn't actually look like the mother, nobody is rude enough to suggest he's not actually HERS!


----------



## geiamama

An online eye colour predictor sounds really cool, is there really such a thing? Do you have a link to it?


----------



## EnviroBecca

Quote:

"it was a good thing that you had to have a second c-section because it means you're still honeymoon fresh for your husband".









My great-aunt made a similar (but not so amusingly phrased) comment about my having to have an episiotomy--something like, "Oh honey, in my day we all had them, and the stitches are no fun but it does make your man happy!"







I didn't tell her that I'm actually quite a different shape than before, or that my partner found it exciting because it was sort of like getting to sleep with somebody new!









Quote:

"One day she'll want to know who her real father is and you won't be able to tell her"









My partner and I are not married. When I mentioned my pregnancy to the father of one of my Girl Scouts, he said, "Well, to married people I always say, 'Who's the father?' but in your case I won't."







Thanks...I think...

Quote:

I guess when the child doesn't actually look like the mother, nobody is rude enough to suggest he's not actually HERS!
My child DOES look like me, but a few strangers asked me whose he was and then explained that I was too thin to have just had a baby! Two of them were polite, but one was very confrontational and followed up with critical comments about the appearance of some of my parts!


----------



## Theoretica

Quote:


Originally Posted by *capagrl* 
I guess when the child doesn't actually look like the mother, nobody is rude enough to suggest he's not actually HERS!









You'd be surprised!!! My youngest DD looks EXACTLY like DH (Korean) and nothing like me (ummm decidedly white LOL). I've had so many people say "is she yours???" when we're out, it's amazing. I feel like saying well, we aren't sure, it's possible my husband was cheating on me but we've decided to let it go....









The irony is my oldest two are adopted and no one ever wondered with them (one is blond-n-blue, but the other is olive-n-green)

And the 'honeymoon fresh' line....Oh...My.....







:

SOMEONE has to have two bucks for that one!!!


----------



## chinchen

Hello everyone! This thread is great! I cannot get enough!

I have got QUITE the ILs and some real family(my sister) that could use a good whack upside the head!

Before I can tell you what my SIL said you need a little background. This girl(She's 21, but I say girl because...you'll see) has 2 sons, one is 2yo the other is 9.5mo. She has already lost custody of the first due to trafficking(yes drugs...). He also has quite a stutter and slack jaw, little eye contact, constant colds and so forth. The baby is at the docs every 3 weeks with a "new" cold. we're talking pinkeye, crust, green, cough ickiness CONSTANTLY. Realistically, the poor boy can't get away from Glade and Febreeze and scented candles in his OWN ROOM! Both boys are bottlefed(the LO gets about 10-12 full bottles a day still with his only real food being Gerber Graduates???? She wont feed him baby food(he doesnt like it she says, but eats jars and jars when with me and other SIL).

okay, so on to her comment.

the three of us girls(we are baby mamas/GFs to 3 brothers) we out to breakfast one morning and I was complaining about the smell of coffee and how i havent had it in 6 months(longing for it really!) cause of my pg(im 7.5mo now). she says to me, "oh whatever, I smoked a pack a day AND drank 2 pots of coffee or more EVERY day when i was pg with both and theyre JUST FINE!"









its very discouraging to see him, and now don't see my nephew often because of how sick it makes me. picture in a christmas story when the mom does up the little brother in his snow suit. now picture him walking...poor baby looks like this ALL THE TIME. arms out, legs out, and very little, stiff movements. it makes and auntie sad.









oh and my sister(we call her Hollywood or L.A.) just told me how ignorant? i am for not wanting a stroller/car seat set because im going to wear my baby, for CDing, BFing without a schedule OH NO!, and for not circumcising("girls are going to be SO grossed out by him, no one will want to be with him!")







. thanks sis.

plus i live in a motorhome and DO NOT have room for all that crap. im a simple girl. we have simple needs.

oh yeah...my MIL keeps pushing my SIL(w/10mo) to give izzy tylenol when she cant sleep. almost every night. and then she tries to dose her without SIL seeing. She actually closed the door to SILs room to do it one night. "just for any aches and pains she might have" and daddy is getting mad at SIL for not listening to his mothers advice....this coming from a woman who once told me she rubbed cocaine on all 4 of her teething baby's gums......HELP!

this is soooo long im sorry. i guess i needed to get some things out...







thanks for listening!


----------



## chinchen

*


----------



## Veronika01

My oldest dd is strawberry blonde with light green-gray eyes, while the rest of us have brown hair and a variety of eye colors, LOL. I always get rude comments about her, even from strangers. The worst is when family members make stupid comments about her not being dh's daughter.







:

My MIL is constantly making comments. "Oh V, your hair looks so nice after being cut. Are you going to make another baby tonight?" or "Happy Birthday! Are you going to make another baby tonight?" or "Have you made another baby yet? The trains going by must keep you up all night with nothing else to do."









My SIL is a single mother to a 9 yr old daughter. My MIL (one mentioned above) is CONSTANTLY harping about my SIL finding a father for the child. About 2 yrs ago my niece asked my MIL where her father is and my MIL told her "He's coming on his white horse."







:


----------



## bigeyes

Quote:


Originally Posted by *capagrl* 
I guess when the child doesn't actually look like the mother, nobody is rude enough to suggest he's not actually HERS!









My ds looks _just like me_ only with his bio-dad's coloring. I'm the whitest of the white, bio-dad is Mexican. When I lived in Kansas people would constantly do the open-mouthed gaping *he's yours?* thing wherever I went.*







:

* That has happened _not once_ in either Hawaii or California, go figger.Seriously, if you have _eyes,_ you _cannot_ miss how much he looks and even _moves_ like me, from his facial features right down to his hands, feet and mannerisms.*







*

Must be something in the water there.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *EnviroBecca* 
My partner and I are not married. When I mentioned my pregnancy to the father of one of my Girl Scouts, he said, "Well, to married people I always say, 'Who's the father?' but in your case I won't."







Thanks...I think...

So he regularly accuses married pregnant women of infidelity? Nice...


----------



## mamagemini

These are so funny!

Here are some gems from my MIL:

Don't drive with the window rolled down-she'll get wind colic!

Don't let her look at herself in the mirror-her teeth will grow in hard!

One from my mom:
Brush her hair all the time, or else she will get cradle cap. (I think she's just obsessed with DD's hair, I was completely bald until I was 2)

From many people:

I heard formula is better than breastmilk nowadays.

You made it all the way to 4 months breastfeeding? Woooowwwww

(still breastfeeding, BTW)


----------



## frontierpsych

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamagemini* 
Don't let her look at herself in the mirror-her teeth will grow in hard!

"Oh, we should definitely avoid THAT! I want her to have teeth the consistency of marshmallows!"








:


----------



## accountclosed2

The three dumbest things, which I got all in one visit with a ped at the hospital's paediatric emergency assessment team (LC sent us there at 3 months when DD's weight still didn't increase and we were 2 weeks away from an appointment with specialist ped):

"We never remember mums."







: (She recognized DH and DD as it turned out she was the awful ped who along with a ped nurse stood laughing and chatting right in my vision (between my legs!) as I tried to push DD out after a long, complicated, induced labour.)

"Most mum's don't have enough milk for their babies at this age."

"But we give vaccines to tiny preemies in the neonatal ward!" (No reason for her to ask about vaccines, but she did, and she pushed it, asking why not and I had replied that we certainly didn't want to vaccinate her while she was so little yet, only about 9 pounds I think.)


----------



## skolbut

Here's a gem I just got TODAY from a nurse...

"Give your 2 yo Carnation Instant breakfast mixed in with his milk to get some fat added into his diet"
Me: "Don't those have a lot of sugar? If it's medically necessary I'd rather go with a smoothie I can mix myself or at least pediasure."
Nurse: "I don't know. You can compare it to Ovaltine or Quik if you like. Let's not go the pediasure route just yet. Let's see how he does on the instant breakfast and check him in 6 months"

Ew. No thanks. I just can't keep the kid fed, he burns it off in 2 seconds!


----------



## Theoretica

Wow...think of how many people she says that to that go home and whip up some Carnation for their kids! I mean...people assume that you have to KNOW something to have that job...good grief!

My personal nonfavorite is 'let em cry, it excercises their lungs', because my aunt says this ALL.The.TIME!


----------



## kriket

ew, carnation breakfast? thats even too sugary for me! I'm not a huge fan of pedelite or pedeasure either. They seem deficient. If thats the only thing that you can get down then go for it! Mama milk is waaay better tho.


----------



## Kidzaplenty

:


----------



## little feet

I was hugely pregnant, trying to pick a watermelon out of the bin.
Grocery worker: "Haven't you had that baby yet?"
Me, in my mind: "Yes, this is just a watermelon."

My brother, upon inspecting his first niece for the first time:
"I prefer my dog."


----------



## Harmony96

Quote:


Originally Posted by *little feet* 
I was hugely pregnant, trying to pick a watermelon out of the bin.
Grocery worker: "Haven't you had that baby yet?"
Me, in my mind: "Yes, this is just a watermelon."

Actually that comment reminds me of a Taco Bell commercial that I half-saw today. There was a guy dressed up in women's clothing, with a huge belly, but inside the clothing was some nachos that he was going to smuggle into the sports arena or movie theater or whatever. So maybe YOU were going to smuggle out a watermelon, LOL.














j/k


----------



## capagrl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *geiamama* 
An online eye colour predictor sounds really cool, is there really such a thing? Do you have a link to it?

This is the one I used 3 years ago - looks like it's still alive & well on the web: http://museum.thetech.org/ugenetics/...alculator.html


----------



## abiyhayil

My ILs scoff (literally they're very uptight and snobby) whenever DH goes over without me and tells them parenting things we're doing. When I'm there they just nod their head and look away







Well one day DH tells them that we aren't going to tell DS there is a santa claus, rather we'll tell him a story of saint nicholas on christmas eve. SIL nearly snarfs on her drink and after cracking up says DS will be picked on in school ~ all because we didn't lie to him about santa







:


----------



## FarmerCathy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *abiyhayil* 
My ILs scoff (literally they're very uptight and snobby) whenever DH goes over without me and tells them parenting things we're doing. When I'm there they just nod their head and look away







Well one day DH tells them that we aren't going to tell DS there is a santa claus, rather we'll tell him a story of saint nicholas on christmas eve. SIL nearly snarfs on her drink and after cracking up says DS will be picked on in school ~ all because we didn't lie to him about santa







:

I know, my mom wants me to tell my son there is a Santa Claus so that he can be like everyone else. Because most kids are told Santa is real. Let's join the herd.


----------



## EnviroBecca

Quote:

this coming from a woman who once told me she rubbed coke on all 4 of her teething baby's gums
Coca-Cola or cocaine? Cocaine is an effective painkiller (not that you should give it to babies!) but I can't see how Coca-Cola would help.


----------



## ramlita

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamagemini* 
Don't let her look at herself in the mirror-her teeth will grow in hard!

























Can she hear the words as they leave her mouth?







:


----------



## capagrl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *abiyhayil* 
My ILs scoff (literally they're very uptight and snobby) whenever DH goes over without me and tells them parenting things we're doing. When I'm there they just nod their head and look away







Well one day DH tells them that we aren't going to tell DS there is a santa claus, rather we'll tell him a story of saint nicholas on christmas eve. SIL nearly snarfs on her drink and after cracking up says DS will be picked on in school ~ all because we didn't lie to him about santa







:

Whether you plan to or not, you should just say, "Oh, that won't be an issue because we're planning to homeschool."


----------



## Theoretica

Quote:


Originally Posted by *capagrl* 
Whether you plan to or not, you should just say, "Oh, that won't be an issue because we're planning to homeschool."

















:

We get asked

"When ar eyou going to get over this homeschool thing you do?"

Ummm..yeah. Because after 13 years it's GOT to just be a PHASE....


----------



## kriket

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Theoretica* 
Ummm..yeah. Because after 13 years it's GOT to just be a PHASE....









I know how you feel everything I do is a phase too.







My husband my father gave 2 weeks when we started dating. My dreadlocks, 2 weeks, guess how long they are giving cloth diapers?


----------



## smeisnotapirate

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Theoretica* 
Ummm..yeah. Because after 13 years it's GOT to just be a PHASE....









Ugh. My parents are like that too.


----------



## MusicianDad

"How is your daughter going to learn to enjoy the more feminin things in life?"

Meaning of course the "girly" makeup, cooking stuff like that.

I just stared at her for a full five minutes until she apologized.

DD and I were waiting for our turn to get our nails done.


----------



## emamum

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
"How is your daughter going to learn to enjoy the more feminin things in life?"

Meaning of course the "girly" makeup, cooking stuff like that.

I just stared at her for a full five minutes until she apologized.

DD and I were waiting for our turn to get our nails done.










hows my daughter gunna learn those things.... i am rubbish at all that stuff and not very girly at all! i am a pretty good cook..... hows ds gunna learn how to play football, i cant do that either..... not that he cares lol


----------



## Mommy2Austin

Quote:


Originally Posted by *capagrl* 
Whether you plan to or not, you should just say, "Oh, that won't be an issue because we're planning to homeschool."









Or one better..."Yeah I plan to razz him good about Santa while I'm teaching him."

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
"How is your daughter going to learn to enjoy the more feminin things in life?"

Meaning of course the "girly" makeup, cooking stuff like that.

I just stared at her for a full five minutes until she apologized.

DD and I were waiting for our turn to get our nails done.










OMG...As if make up and cooking make a woman feminine!


----------



## SilvanaRose

Ok this is not really bad parenting advice but it sounded totally stupid...My step brother who is 19 just told us the other day that his 18 year old girlfriend is pregnant and that they are excited about keeping the baby (which is great) however they live with 'her' mother who happens to live off the system (not an ideal setting in this case imo). There's like 6 people living in one house on one welfare paycheck and neither of them have a job. When we asked how they plan to look after a BABY..........

my mom: how do you plan on looking after this baby? (living human being)

him: well I got a job (finally)

my mom: oh? where at?

him: at '____' and it pays really well.........

my mom: uh...............you know thats a temporary job right?

him: but it pays really well (its 12$ an hour for 2 months)

my step dad: we are not talking about a puppy here guys, this is a lifetime commitment 24/7........(and on and on...you get the point)

him: ......oh...

her (rather snobbishly): I know _everything_ there is to know about looking after a baby, I took a course in school. (LOL oh and this coming from someone who didn't even graduate from 'said' school!)

my mom and step dad:
















*****my disclaimer............this is in no way implying I have a problem with young mothers or low income families. I do however have a problem with (this case) my step brother and his gf because neither of them has ever had a job or even looked after themselves let alone a child.


----------



## beru

At the last WBV: now that my little one is 12 months old, I should start disciplining her with time-outs.

Here's one good change at the doctors' practice since my son was a baby. They have stopped insisting that a breastfed toddler needs cow's milk.


----------



## smeisnotapirate

I (mistakenly) took DS in to see a supposedly no-vax-friendly doctor. I was looking pretty obviously Jewish that day, so of course he asked me if I was Mennonite







, and when I said I was Jewish, he said "Ohhhhh... so is that why you don't vaccinate? Some Jewish thing?" I said that no, but being Jewish, we're very aware that our bodies are holy and aware of what we put into them, like the kashrut laws, etc. And he said.......

"Oh yeah, that kosher stuff is so dumb. I once had a patient tell me that breastmilk isn't considered milk so she could breastfeed her kid at the table with a meat meal. Isn't THAT convenient?"










Like I was supposed to agree with him.

Needless to say, we're still looking for a doctor.







:


----------



## Shenjall

I am horrified for you. Just horrified. What is wrong with some people?!


----------



## whitneymum

"How is he ever going to learn to walk if you're always carrying him?"

I think the audible sigh, the furrowed brow and the shaking of my head answered pretty well.
good grief.


----------



## Storm Bride

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
"How is your daughter going to learn to enjoy the more feminin things in life?"

Meaning of course the "girly" makeup, cooking stuff like that.

I just stared at her for a full five minutes until she apologized.

DD and I were waiting for our turn to get our nails done.










hmm...I was actually worried about having a girl, for precisely that reason! I'm not really very feminine, and a lot of "girl stuff" just mystifies me. DD seems to be doing okay, though.

I honestly can't think of that much, but the home health nurse who came to visit me after dd came out with one that just made me shake my head. She asked if I had other children, and how old he was when I said I did. I told her he was 10. She said, "oh, that's a big gap - now...what's changed in breastfeeding in 10 years?". I just sat there, thinking, "you mean - what's changed in what you _think_ you know about breastfeeding? Because, I'm personally pretty sure that the mechanics of it haven't changed at all in the last decade."

Ugh.


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *whitneymum* 
"How is he ever going to learn to walk if you're always carrying him?"

I think the audible sigh, the furrowed brow and the shaking of my head answered pretty well.
good grief.

A child is not a cat...they don't need to start walking right after birth, they can't.


----------



## whitneymum

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AFWife* 
A child is not a cat...they don't need to start walking right after birth, they can't.











I've got to remember that one.. I could totally substitute a myriad of mammals and remind them that since they're not in any danger of being eaten by something else...I think we're good.

I have a "mom's day" this weekend that I'm sure one of us is going to hear it..can't wait to use this one.
I wish people would just relax.


----------



## RoseDuperre

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
I honestly can't think of that much, but the home health nurse who came to visit me after dd came out with one that just made me shake my head. She asked if I had other children, and how old he was when I said I did. I told her he was 10. She said, "oh, that's a big gap - now...what's changed in breastfeeding in 10 years?". I just sat there, thinking, "you mean - what's changed in what you _think_ you know about breastfeeding? Because, I'm personally pretty sure that the mechanics of it haven't changed at all in the last decade."

Maybe she meant to ask if the experience was different, like if it had changed for _you_?


----------



## Storm Bride

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RoseDuperre* 
Maybe she meant to ask if the experience was different, like if it had changed for _you_?

No. She was going over in her head what changes have been made in the recommendations that they make. That was very clear from the subsequent conversation. I don't remember the details, but I do remember she gave me different advice on how often to feed, etc. The whole visit was painful. I refuse them, now. I have enough on my plate with my other kids, a newborn and a surgical recovery. I don't need strangers in my house giving me pointless "information" and adding to my stress.


----------



## witchygrrl

My MIL asked me if I had trouble sleeping because I was afraid I'd roll over onto my baby otherwise. Um, no.


----------



## AFWife

I don't know if I've posted this before or not...

MIL told me that with DH (her first child) the nurse at the hospital told her to put him on a STRICT breastfeeding schedule and only feed him every 4 hours... She didn't know she was starving him until her next doctor's appointment


----------



## Theoretica

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
"How is your daughter going to learn to enjoy the more feminine things in life?"

Meaning of course the "girly" makeup, cooking stuff like that.

I just stared at her for a full five minutes until she apologized.

DD and I were waiting for our turn to get our nails done.










That is beYOND insulting. On so many levels. One, that your orientation somehow affects your daughter's ability to create her own identity. Two, that femininity is comprised of such a limited and stereotyped behaviors in that person's eyes.

The fact that you were waiting to get mani-s when this was said makes it hilarious though, gotta say


----------



## RedPony

Quote:


Originally Posted by *skolbut* 
Here's a gem I just got TODAY from a nurse...

"Give your 2 yo Carnation Instant breakfast mixed in with his milk to get some fat added into his diet"
Me: "Don't those have a lot of sugar? If it's medically necessary I'd rather go with a smoothie I can mix myself or at least pediasure."
Nurse: "I don't know. You can compare it to Ovaltine or Quik if you like. Let's not go the pediasure route just yet. Let's see how he does on the instant breakfast and check him in 6 months"

Ew. No thanks. I just can't keep the kid fed, he burns it off in 2 seconds!

Wow! I honestly didn't know you could get this kind of "advice" in MI. (Cause, you know, I live here!







)


----------



## hollyvangogh

Quote:


Originally Posted by *witchygrrl* 
My MIL asked me if I had trouble sleeping because I was afraid I'd roll over onto my baby otherwise. Um, no.

I do.

There have been one or two occasions when DD managed to roll/wiggle/etc. into bad positions and get blankets in a really dangerous place. I guess that's not so much fear of rolling over her as it is fear of bedding smothering her. But I do think I sleep much lighter since then. On occasion DD sleeps in her swing and I sleep much better those nights.


----------



## MusicianDad

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Theoretica* 
That is beYOND insulting. On so many levels. One, that your orientation somehow affects your daughter's ability to create her own identity. Two, that femininity is comprised of such a limited and stereotyped behaviors in that person's eyes.

The fact that you were waiting to get mani-s when this was said makes it hilarious though, gotta say









That's why I never actually dignified it with a responce. Well that and I was hoping she'd see where the errors in logic were.


----------



## frontierpsych

This isn't about my parenting, but my mom's. My mom is a lesbian and someone in high school asked me "Your mom's a lesbian? Does she ever try to, like, have sex with you?"


----------



## Theoretica

Quote:


Originally Posted by *frontierpsych* 
This isn't about my parenting, but my mom's. My mom is a lesbian and someone in high school asked me "Your mom's a lesbian? Does she ever try to, like, have sex with you?"

OMG that one made me snarf....I mean it's shocking anyone would say that, but it's the stupidity of the comment that makes it HILARIOUS


----------



## waiting2bemommy

My dad, on breastfeeding in front of him..."this is like watching a porno..." ***turns head and recoils***

My dad was SO pro bfing in the beginning. but he thinks i'm not modest enough. I'm sitting on the couch in what is suposed to be my HOME. I am sure you couldn't see anything...I've checked in front of a mirror.

And later, my dad when I complained about ds constantly wkaing up...."you shoudl ahve thought about that before you knocked yourself up." Yeak, thanks, dad. i'm sure YOU never complained in 22 years either. And fwiw, I was an accident, which makes that commnt all the more ridiciulous.


----------



## TopHat

Quote:


Originally Posted by *waiting2bemommy* 
And later, my dad when I complained about ds constantly wkaing up...."you shoudl ahve thought about that before you knocked yourself up." Yeak, thanks, dad. i'm sure YOU never complained in 22 years either. And fwiw, I was an accident, which makes that commnt all the more ridiciulous.

Ooh. That irks me. I was on the phone with my dad last summer after we found out my 19 year old sister was pregnant- he and my mom were upset since she's not married. I was trying to remind them that a baby is a blessing. Period. And that what she needs now is not people looking down on her, but support. He was telling me that her being unmarried and pregnant is going to mean that she'll be living in a trailer and this baby is going to be a "ball and chain" for the rest of her life.

Last time I checked, my parents got married BECAUSE they got pregnant with me. Ball and chain, Dad? Who's the ball and chain here? grrr...


----------



## pear-shaped

Quote:


Originally Posted by *EnviroBecca* 
Coca-Cola or cocaine? Cocaine is an effective painkiller (not that you should give it to babies!) but I can't see how Coca-Cola would help.

This reminded me of something. My MIL said that her pediatrician told her to give her children coca-cola when they had fevers (This would have been in the 1970s.) Now I remember being given coca-cola syrup as a kid for upset stomach, but the link with fevers, I just don't get.


----------



## Shenjall

Quote:


Originally Posted by *waiting2bemommy* 
My dad, on breastfeeding in front of him..."this is like watching a porno..." ***turns head and recoils***

My dad was SO pro bfing in the beginning. but he thinks i'm not modest enough. I'm sitting on the couch in what is suposed to be my HOME. I am sure you couldn't see anything...I've checked in front of a mirror.

And later, my dad when I complained about ds constantly wkaing up...."you shoudl ahve thought about that before you knocked yourself up." Yeak, thanks, dad. i'm sure YOU never complained in 22 years either. And fwiw, I was an accident, which makes that commnt all the more ridiciulous.

"Just what kind of pornos have you been watching lately dad?"


----------



## smeisnotapirate

Quote:


Originally Posted by *waiting2bemommy* 
My dad, on breastfeeding in front of him..."this is like watching a porno..." ***turns head and recoils***











I cannot believe your own father said that to you. Disgusting. I don't care if you have your whole boob out or are nursing topless, NOTHING about nursing is anything like pornography. I hope you made it clear that HE is the one who is warped and not you.


----------



## ramlita

Quote:


Originally Posted by *frontierpsych* 
This isn't about my parenting, but my mom's. My mom is a lesbian and someone in high school asked me "Your mom's a lesbian? Does she ever try to, like, have sex with you?"



















Where do these ideas come from? why do they persist?


----------



## luv-my-boys

well here's my *dumb* family moment:

I went out to eat with my sister and her family when I visted with my then 11mo old son.

sister DH "are you going to order him something?" (refering to DS)
sister "she like breastfeeds him" (my sister believes its *icky* her word)








sister DH "oh.....how old is he?" "cant you afford to buy him formula"
me "he's allergic to dairy"
sister "he's allergic to dairy...but she breastfeeds him?"

HELLO!!!! Cow milk and human milk is NOT THE SAME














I pretty muched just summed it up to ignorance.


----------



## MusicianDad

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ramlita* 








Where do these ideas come from? why do they persist?









They persist because people can't take the 'sex' out of 'homosexual'.

I would have asked "Your dad's straight? Does he ever try to, like, have sex with you?"


----------



## Theoretica

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
They persist because people can't take the 'sex' out of 'homosexual'.

I would have asked "Your dad's straight? Does he ever try to, like, have sex with you?"









:

I thought that too when I read it!


----------



## Storm Bride

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Theoretica* 







:

I thought that too when I read it!

...and me.
People are sooo messed up.


----------



## veganone

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 
I (mistakenly) took DS in to see a supposedly no-vax-friendly doctor. I was looking pretty obviously Jewish that day, so of course he asked me if I was Mennonite







, and when I said I was Jewish, he said "Ohhhhh... so is that why you don't vaccinate? Some Jewish thing?" I said that no, but being Jewish, we're very aware that our bodies are holy and aware of what we put into them, like the kashrut laws, etc. And he said.......

"Oh yeah, that kosher stuff is so dumb. I once had a patient tell me that breastmilk isn't considered milk so she could breastfeed her kid at the table with a meat meal. Isn't THAT convenient?"










Like I was supposed to agree with him.

Needless to say, we're still looking for a doctor.







:

OMG! I really hope you wrote a complaint letter to everyone you could think of about this. Unbelievable!!!

I will say that my OB was very concerned that I wouldn't breastfeed because we're vegan and breastmilk is "milk".


----------



## frontierpsych

Quote:


Originally Posted by *veganone* 
I will say that my OB was very concerned that I wouldn't breastfeed because we're vegan and breastmilk is "milk".

I'd say "nah, we're just starting them off on lettuce."









I'm a smart-ass, though.


----------



## veganone

Quote:


Originally Posted by *frontierpsych* 
I'd say "nah, we're just starting them off on lettuce."









I'm a smart-ass, though.











Honestly, I could not figure out what he was trying to say to me. It was so absurd that I just couldn't follow what he was saying. When I figured it out I just laughed at him, basically.


----------



## jessica_lizette

My hubby, son (13 months at the time), and I went to dinner at a restaurant where one of his former coworkers is now working. I had never met him before, so DH introduced me to him. He looked at DH, looked at me, and looked at our son and said to DH "That's not your kid." Uhhhhh.....hello? The first thing you say when you meet someone's family is to imply that their partner was unfaithful and had someone else's child?? I have a sense of humor and that would have been okay (although slightly irritating) coming from a friend, but come on.


----------



## redsfree

"instead of baby proofing your house, don't be afraid to slap your dd's hand if she gets into something she shouldn't."

wha?







: and this from a woman who doesn't have kids. thank goodness!


----------



## triscuitsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *frontierpsych* 
This isn't about my parenting, but my mom's. My mom is a lesbian and someone in high school asked me "Your mom's a lesbian? Does she ever try to, like, have sex with you?"










I'm not the only one then









When my Mom came out and moved in with a woman when I was 14 I had two seperate occasions when that happened. The first I was asked if she'd ever hit on me, and the second I was asked if I was afraid to go stay at her house now because she was clearly going to want to have sex with me.


----------



## sapphire_chan

So, um, did you ever reply "No, does your dad try to have sex with you?"


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *waiting2bemommy* 
My dad, on breastfeeding in front of him..."this is like watching a porno..." ***turns head and recoils***

My dad was SO pro bfing in the beginning. but he thinks i'm not modest enough. I'm sitting on the couch in what is suposed to be my HOME. I am sure you couldn't see anything...I've checked in front of a mirror.

Even if you had your shirt completely off, your dad has lousy taste in porn. He does know that adults can legally rent stuff that shows actual sex, right? Bonus points for asking him that!


----------



## TwinsTwicePlusTwo

Quote:


Originally Posted by *waiting2bemommy* 
My dad, on breastfeeding in front of him..."this is like watching a porno..." ***turns head and recoils***

My dad was SO pro bfing in the beginning. but he thinks i'm not modest enough. I'm sitting on the couch in what is suposed to be my HOME. I am sure you couldn't see anything...I've checked in front of a mirror.

And later, my dad when I complained about ds constantly wkaing up...."you shoudl ahve thought about that before you knocked yourself up." Yeak, thanks, dad. i'm sure YOU never complained in 22 years either. And fwiw, I was an accident, which makes that commnt all the more ridiciulous.

I think your dad has been talking to my MIL . . .









Speaking of MIL, I got her on the phone the other day (by accident) and mentioned that I'd driven up Kansas. She says "So you finally came to your senses and got an abortion." I drove up there for charity work! Once I got FIL on the phone, I told him that MIL wanted me to abort his grandchild and he let her have it.









This baby was planned! Planned, planned, PLANNED! Ugh! Usually MIL amuses me, but that time she really pissed me off.


----------



## capagrl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TwinsTwicePlusTwo* 
"So you finally came to your senses and got an abortion."











Oh my gosh. That is. wow. I have no words for that. And here I thought my MIL's reaction to my first pregnancy was bad when she said, "Please tell me it isn't true!" since my mother had obviously felt the need to break the news before I could. But you've got me there. And you have my full sympathy. And you know what? Planned or not, why on earth would she even go there?!


----------



## heidirk

My dad, on hearing of my pregnancy with ds2- "So what does Matt (DH) think about that?"

Um, what do you mean what does my husband think about it, he helped me get that way! We'd been trying for 6 months!


----------



## nudhistbudhist

Quote:


Originally Posted by *In Exile* 
Yes, that's what bugs me about it. It's the "wife's duty" to be "available" at every second-because you know as a rule co-sleeping families NEVER have more than one child.









And yes, not every man is happy about it- but I would sort of expect my sister and husband not to run around and tell everyone about my sex life.

I was upset because that woman yelled at ME in addition to that stuff. Gosh, that was a weird situation. It's the birthday party for her grandchild and she blasts guests that defend her sister....









I actually didn't get it, at first... I thought the husband was "miserable" because baby was waking up in the night in their bed and disturbing them... interupting their sex life didnt occur to me because we co-sleep and DS never wakes up when we are having our fun... I think because we had so much fun while I was pregnant..... the noises/motion is probably soothing because he remebers it from utero


----------



## chipper26

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Theoretica* 

My personal nonfavorite is 'let em cry, it excercises their lungs', because my aunt says this ALL.The.TIME!

One of the nurses in the hospital (or the lactation consultant, not sure which) told me the same thing. These people are supposed to be the "experts." Maybe that's why no one in the hospital recognized that dd was tongued-tied and that's why I was having so much trouble nursing.


----------



## Kappa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *veganone* 
OMG! I really hope you wrote a complaint letter to everyone you could think of about this. Unbelievable!!!

I will say that my OB was very concerned that I wouldn't breastfeed because we're vegan and breastmilk is "milk".


There was a story in the media a few years back, there was a couple that was prosecuted, I believe in Georgia who claimed they were vegan, they only gave their poor baby juice and the baby died from malnutrition. It was weird. The parents were obviously misguided in their beliefs, but I may have been tempted to remind my vegan patients that they still had to provide breastmilk or formula despite their beliefs.


----------



## PatienceAndLove

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kappa* 
There was a story in the media a few years back, there was a couple that was prosecuted, I believe in Georgia who claimed they were vegan, they only gave their poor baby juice and the baby died from malnutrition. It was weird. The parents were obviously misguided in their beliefs, but I may have been tempted to remind my vegan patients that they still had to provide breastmilk or formula despite their beliefs.

I remember that story!
http://www.wsbtv.com/news/13245543/detail.html
http://featuresblogs.chicagotribune....parents_s.html


----------



## Mommy2Austin

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chipper26* 
One of the nurses in the hospital (or the lactation consultant, not sure which) told me the same thing. These people are supposed to be the "experts." Maybe that's why no one in the hospital recognized that dd was tongued-tied and that's why I was having so much trouble nursing.

Yeah I self diagnosed both of children with tongue tie. Everyone poo pooed it, but being tongue tied myself I knew what I was looking at. It wasn't until we took them to one of the specialists about 4 hours away that she diagnosed them and clipped them for us.


----------



## hopefulfaith

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 
I (mistakenly) took DS in to see a supposedly no-vax-friendly doctor. I was looking pretty obviously Jewish that day, so of course he asked me if I was Mennonite







, and when I said I was Jewish, he said "Ohhhhh... so is that why you don't vaccinate? Some Jewish thing?" I said that no, but being Jewish, we're very aware that our bodies are holy and aware of what we put into them, like the kashrut laws, etc. And he said.......

"Oh yeah, that kosher stuff is so dumb. I once had a patient tell me that breastmilk isn't considered milk so she could breastfeed her kid at the table with a meat meal. Isn't THAT convenient?"










Like I was supposed to agree with him.

Needless to say, we're still looking for a doctor.







:


I am so sorry. That is beyond appalling.
I can't type coherently with my jaw still dropping.
Wow.

Just, wow.


----------



## yogafeet

Quote:


Originally Posted by *frontierpsych* 
I'd say "nah, we're just starting them off on lettuce."









I'm a smart-ass, though.


----------



## yogafeet

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hopefulfaith* 
I am so sorry. That is beyond appalling.
I can't type coherently with my jaw still dropping.
Wow.

Just, wow.


----------



## yogafeet

My dh's grandmother told me I was doing my children a disservice by not letting them CIO. I wanted to smack her, but she is in her 80s and it's not so gentle.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *yogafeet* 
My dh's grandmother told me I was doing my children a disservice by not letting them CIO. I wanted to smack her, but she is in her 80s and it's not so gentle.









"Well, if you don't want us to respond to your cries in the dark when you grow helpless and weak, feel free to right a living will to that effect, but I have to tell you I'll feel horrible following your request."


----------



## yasinsmama

One day, I was really worn out. I was talking to my mom, and I told her I was tired and sleepy, but DS did not take good naps that day, so I couldn't sleep with him. She told me to get some earplugs and just let him cry.


----------



## llamalluv

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TwinsTwicePlusTwo* 
I think your dad has been talking to my MIL . . .









Speaking of MIL, I got her on the phone the other day (by accident) and mentioned that I'd driven up Kansas. She says "So you finally came to your senses and got an abortion." I drove up there for charity work! Once I got FIL on the phone, I told him that MIL wanted me to abort his grandchild and he let her have it.









This baby was planned! Planned, planned, PLANNED! Ugh! Usually MIL amuses me, but that time she really pissed me off.









: Wow. that is so the opposite of what my experience has been!

Every single time we call my mother or my IL's and we say we have good news to share, they start throwing out baby names.









And of course, it's not ever a baby we share. It's "we paid off another card" or "we are coming to visit you". and then we hear "Oh...that's nice, too"


----------



## MusicianDad

DH and I were told yesterday "You shouldn't let your kids see you guys doing the PDA thing, it's gonna disturb them."

Now I do disagreed, but it was DD that said it. So maybe there's something there.









(I did ask how disturbed she actually was and she just gave me the "I'm _your_ kid, how disturbed do you think I am?" look)


----------



## Irishmommy

MusicianDad, my 14yo dd does that too. Verbally and in disgusted noises. I tell her it's better than fighting.


----------



## MusicianDad

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Irishmommy* 
MusicianDad, my 14yo dd does that too. Verbally and in disgusted noises. I tell her it's better than fighting.



















More logical then what I tell her sometimes. I tell if it weren't for this she wouldn't be here. She calls me on it every time.


----------



## Irishmommy

Yeah, that wouldn't quite work for you!


----------



## MusicianDad

Nope, but we learn to parent from our parents and that's the excuse my dad gave. Actually it didn't work for him either, since he divorced my mom before I was 2...

Interesting.


----------



## veganone

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kappa* 
There was a story in the media a few years back, there was a couple that was prosecuted, I believe in Georgia who claimed they were vegan, they only gave their poor baby juice and the baby died from malnutrition. It was weird. The parents were obviously misguided in their beliefs, but I may have been tempted to remind my vegan patients that they still had to provide breastmilk or formula despite their beliefs.

Yeah - I remember that story too. But child neglect from a clearly inept and excessively stupid parent has little to do with veganism. It's tragic, but it slays me that one instance makes people think that they need to "remind" vegans that we shouldn't starve our babies. It's insulting.

Some Christian religions staunchly support beating children as the only proper discipline, but people don't think all Christians believe in beating children. (I'm Christian, and had a cousin who was one of the branches that beat their kids.)


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *veganone* 
Yeah - I remember that story too. But child neglect from a clearly inept and excessively stupid parent has little to do with veganism. It's tragic, but it slays me that one instance makes people think that they need to "remind" vegans that we shouldn't starve our babies. It's insulting.


My MIL the other day said something about how kids can't be vegan..."they won't get proper protein." I tried to explain that I knew a mom who had a son that was meat and dairy intolerant and she gave him vegan everything (vegan cheese was his favorite snack) but she still was insistent that kids NEED meat and dairy


----------



## Storm Bride

Quote:


Originally Posted by *veganone* 
Yeah - I remember that story too. But child neglect from a clearly inept and excessively stupid parent has little to do with veganism. It's tragic, but it slays me that one instance makes people think that they need to "remind" vegans that we shouldn't starve our babies. It's insulting.

I can understand why it bugs you, but I'm afraid it's fairly universal. As far as I can tell, we _all_ get treated as though we're too stupid to look after our children. I got lecture by a nurse on the whole "wake him up to feed him" thing with ds2. He lost a whopping 7.5 oz in 3 days at the hospital (having started out at 10lb. 8oz. - the nurses were surprised a baby that big had lost so little). But, he had jaundice, you see. One nurse said he did - my GP commented on his beautiful colour, and I couldn't see any jaundice, and one of the nurses told me she couldn't see it, but put it down in the notes, anyway, because "he wouldn't be over it this quickly"...so I was supposed to wake him from a sound sleep every 3 hours to make sure he ate, so the "jaundice" would clear. Ugh. I get a baby who sleeps a 6 hour stretch every night, nurses like a champ, and actually lets me rest...but they didn't want him to...

I get the feeling that most people, especially maternity ward staff, think that a woman having a baby means her brain comes out, too.


----------



## ramlita

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 

More logical then what I tell her sometimes. I tell if it weren't for this she wouldn't be here. She calls me on it every time.









You RULE







:


----------



## holothuroidea

We were out to lunch with my MIL.

I gave DD (7 months) a carrot from my plate to chew on during dinner. I didn't cut it up or anything, I just let her have it like I always do.

MIL freaked. "That carrot is no good! It's not soft enough, here, have a french fry!"

Because french fries are so much better for babies than carrots are.









I mean, I guess the softness of the carrot would be an issue if I were, say, shoving it down her throat.


----------



## Hey Mama!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *capagrl* 
Oh my gosh, you guys, I am literally laughing myself into tears over "Honeymoon Fresh!" WOW, just wow...

On topic, my 4th DS looks like DH except that he's got pale skin, light brown/blond hair, and huge blue eyes. DH has green eyes and I have brown (and am dark skinned & dark haired), but I just tell people I used an online eye color predictor and there was a 6.2% chance he'd be born with blue eyes. We call him our little genetic winner (since there was such a slim chance of him looking like he does). *I guess when the child doesn't actually look like the mother, nobody is rude enough to suggest he's not actually HERS!*









Actually they are. My oldest dd looks nothing like me. She was white blonde and had bright blue eyes as a toddler. When I had middle dd she came out looking just like me, olive skin and dark hair and greyish-blue eyes. Someone asked me if oldest dd was mine- they thought she was my step-daughter or something. Youngest dd turned out blonde and bright blue eyes like her older sister. Middle dd doesn't look like she belongs to her sisters, I get "funny" comments from dh and others all the time.


----------



## Narn

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
"Well, if you don't want us to respond to your cries in the dark when you grow helpless and weak, feel free to right a living will to that effect, but I have to tell you I'll feel horrible following your request."

You always have the best comebacks!


----------



## Zuzu822

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hey Mama!* 
Actually they are. My oldest dd looks nothing like me. She was white blonde and had bright blue eyes as a toddler. When I had middle dd she came out looking just like me, olive skin and dark hair and greyish-blue eyes. Someone asked me if oldest dd was mine- they thought she was my step-daughter or something. Youngest dd turned out blonde and bright blue eyes like her older sister. Middle dd doesn't look like she belongs to her sisters, I get "funny" comments from dh and others all the time.









: I have a friend who is very fair and her husband is Asian. Their daughter looks very much like both of them, but has some Asian features (eyes especially) and dark hair. When out alone with her DD, her mother has been asked "where she got her" because of that.







: Nice.


----------



## veganone

If it were general advice, I almost get it. I totally understand that medical people give out stupid advice on a regular basis. But, to have that assumed because I am vegan and ONE WOMAN starved her child because of very misguided beliefs shouldn't mean that every vegan needs to be reminded to actually, you know, feed her baby. I would be willing to guess that most vegan families eat much better than the average American diet.

I was posting it here because I thought it was funny in it's stupidity. I did not expect to have people basically back up my doctor. No one if posting that it was okay for the nurse to suggest that (I actually did wake my preemie to eat) because you should expect bad advice.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
I can understand why it bugs you, but I'm afraid it's fairly universal. As far as I can tell, we _all_ get treated as though we're too stupid to look after our children. I got lecture by a nurse on the whole "wake him up to feed him" thing with ds2. He lost a whopping 7.5 oz in 3 days at the hospital (having started out at 10lb. 8oz. - the nurses were surprised a baby that big had lost so little). But, he had jaundice, you see. One nurse said he did - my GP commented on his beautiful colour, and I couldn't see any jaundice, and one of the nurses told me she couldn't see it, but put it down in the notes, anyway, because "he wouldn't be over it this quickly"...so I was supposed to wake him from a sound sleep every 3 hours to make sure he ate, so the "jaundice" would clear. Ugh. I get a baby who sleeps a 6 hour stretch every night, nurses like a champ, and actually lets me rest...but they didn't want him to...

I get the feeling that most people, especially maternity ward staff, think that a woman having a baby means her brain comes out, too.


----------



## abiyhayil

Quote:


Originally Posted by *yogafeet* 
My dh's grandmother told me I was doing my children a disservice by not letting them CIO. I wanted to smack her, but she is in her 80s and it's not so gentle.









I was just listening to NPR and how solitary confinement is terrible for PRISONERS, there is a movement to do away with it because it is considered torture. Yet so many babies are treated much the same


----------



## geiamama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *abiyhayil* 
I was just listening to NPR and how solitary confinement is terrible for PRISONERS, there is a movement to do away with it because it is considered torture. Yet so many babies are treated much the same

















:

The number of people who think it's okay to slap their kids and yet if an adult family member did exactly the same thing to them they'd have them charged with assault!


----------



## Storm Bride

Quote:


Originally Posted by *veganone* 
If it were general advice, I almost get it. I totally understand that medical people give out stupid advice on a regular basis. But, to have that assumed because I am vegan and ONE WOMAN starved her child because of very misguided beliefs shouldn't mean that every vegan needs to be reminded to actually, you know, feed her baby. I would be willing to guess that most vegan families eat much better than the average American diet.

I was posting it here because I thought it was funny in it's stupidity. I did not expect to have people basically back up my doctor. No one if posting that it was okay for the nurse to suggest that (I actually did wake my preemie to eat) because you should expect bad advice.

Back up your doctor? How on earth does saying that I think most medical professionals give idiotic advice equate to "backing up your doctor"? I totally get why it was upsetting to you as a vegan. It's just it wouldn't surprise me if the doctor told his next patient, who was eating SAD, something every bit as stupid, if not stupider.

Just because some women choose formula doesn't mean a mother who already has two breastfed children needs to be lectured on how to breastfeed, either. I'm not vegan, so maybe there's something here I'm missing. I just think you were being talked to like an idiot because you were a patient with a baby, not because you're a vegan.

Anyway, I'm not backing up your doctor - not even a little bit. The way vegans, in general, were being equated with that couple (I remember when the story came out) was ridiculous.


----------



## veganone

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
Back up your doctor? How on earth does saying that I think most medical professionals give idiotic advice equate to "backing up your doctor"? I totally get why it was upsetting to you as a vegan. It's just it wouldn't surprise me if the doctor told his next patient, who was eating SAD, something every bit as stupid, if not stupider.

Just because some women choose formula doesn't mean a mother who already has two breastfed children needs to be lectured on how to breastfeed, either. I'm not vegan, so maybe there's something here I'm missing. I just think you were being talked to like an idiot because you were a patient with a baby, not because you're a vegan.

Anyway, I'm not backing up your doctor - not even a little bit. The way vegans, in general, were being equated with that couple (I remember when the story came out) was ridiculous.

A pp (not naming names to hopefully avoid a UAV) basically said that she feels she needs to give patients the same "advice" my doctor gave me. And that felt a lot like backing him up and giving credibility to the incredibly ignorant view that vegans are generally so stupid we need to be reminded not to starve our infants.

I didn't mean to imply you thought that. You were comiserating. Sorry.


----------



## zoeyzoo

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hey Mama!* 
Actually they are. My oldest dd looks nothing like me. She was white blonde and had bright blue eyes as a toddler. When I had middle dd she came out looking just like me, olive skin and dark hair and greyish-blue eyes. Someone asked me if oldest dd was mine- they thought she was my step-daughter or something. Youngest dd turned out blonde and bright blue eyes like her older sister. Middle dd doesn't look like she belongs to her sisters, I get "funny" comments from dh and others all the time.

One side of my family is Asian and there is one Irish person on the Asian side of the family a couple of generations back. Well the kids (parents look asian) came out with bright red hair, green eyes, and freckles. One of them applied for an asian american scholarship and no one believed he was asian. I'm sure the parents have heard a number of comments!


----------



## Storm Bride

Quote:


Originally Posted by *veganone* 
A pp (not naming names to hopefully avoid a UAV) basically said that she feels she needs to give patients the same "advice" my doctor gave me. And that felt a lot like backing him up and giving credibility to the incredibly ignorant view that vegans are generally so stupid we need to be reminded not to starve our infants.

I didn't mean to imply you thought that. You were comiserating. Sorry.

Oh, okay. Gotcha. I'm not a vegan - or even a vegetarian of any other type - but I've never, ever met a vegan who was ignorant about food...not even close!


----------



## ramlita

From a school board member:

"Bullying? Oh no, they fixed all that. We don't have any bullying in _our_ schools!"


----------



## geiamama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ramlita* 
From a school board member:

"Bullying? Oh no, they fixed all that. We don't have any bullying in _our_ schools!"

Yeah my dad got that one from my old headmaster. Apparently even though I had two black eyes that looked like cricket balls, I was just "an oversensitive child"!!! Needless to say I was permanently removed that afternoon.


----------



## ramlita

Ugh.


----------



## geiamama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ramlita* 
Ugh.









Thank you.

DH's main complaint is that everyone feels compelled to tell him the blindingly obvious just because he's a man...

MIL "Make sure she's wearing a coat"
DH "Really, I thought she'd enjoy going out in the rain in just a nappy"

GMIL "She's tired, she should have a nap"
DH "Oh so that's what yawning means"

The worst is my SIL. She has no children of her own but because she's a primary school teacher she believes she is the absolute authority on children. No matter how many times DH tries to tell her she just cannot believe that kids can act completely differently at home than they do in school and that parents who spend eighteen hours of the day and night with said kids(obviously barring the time that they're in school) might have a better idea of how to treat them!


----------



## SarahElizabeth

DH, when I was getting teary about being unable breastfeed: "You're still doing all of the night feeds, right? I mean, you were going to be up all night feeding him anyway, this way it's almost as if you are breastfeeding!"

No, dear, it's really not the same.


----------



## Jezzy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SarahElizabeth* 
DH, when I was getting teary about being unable breastfeed: "You're still doing all of the night feeds, right? I mean, you were going to be up all night feeding him anyway, this way it's almost as if you are breastfeeding!"

No, dear, it's really not the same.

















to you dear


----------



## EnviroBecca

I read to my son on the bus every day, chapter books that don't have a picture on every page. The other day he was looking out the window while I read, and some random lady felt a need to interrupt us:
LADY: He's not listening!
ME: Oh? (to kid) Are you not listening?
KID: Huh? I was listening. He's going up to the attic to look at the toy castle.
ME: (to lady) He was listening.
LADY: You oughta make him look at the book. He gotta see the pictures, or he won't understand it.
ME: There aren't any pictures. He just told you what's happening in the story, so he does understand.
KID:







I make the pictures in my mind.
LADY:







: Li'l smartie!
KID:







Read the story, please.

Back in December, just before his 4th birthday, I read him _The Hobbit._ About four different people took it upon themselves to interrupt with comments like, "What you reading him that for?! He don't understand that!" EnviroKid told each of them what was happening in the book ("Bilbo got rescued by an eagle who's carrying him in his toes!") and they'd move on.









But all those people are outweighed by the many whose eyes have lit up as they heard the story and who've leaned over to tell us how they read that book when they were kids, and the old ladies who say things like, "Your mother is giving you a great gift. Do you know how lucky you are?"


----------



## amberskyfire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *EnviroBecca* 
and the old ladies who say things like, "Your mother is giving you a great gift. Do you know how lucky you are?"









Oh, that part made me tear up!







It's a shame what so many children are missing these days!


----------



## ramlita

amberskyfire,

That's what I came here to say







:


----------



## yasinsmama

I was on the phone with my sister yesterday, and she heard ds giggling. She said "that's so cute". I told her he does that when he nurses sometimes, like he's so excited to be nursing! She said "yeah, b/c he knows he won't be getting anymore very soon". I said "umm, no, he'll just nurse until he's finished (he's ONLY 11 months)". And she said "well, after 2 years, your body goes back to normal anyways doesn't it?". I was like, back to normal from what? I think i'm pretty much as normal as i'm going to get since having the babe, and the milk is still there.







:


----------



## A&A

My MIL when she found out we were leaving our son intact (non-circumcised): "Oh, you two will do anything to be different."


----------



## ernalala

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
Oh, that part made me tear up!







It's a shame what so many children are missing these days!

I got ourselves a copy of The Neverending Story (Michael Ende) to read to my little son(s)







.
I once saw a happy-in-love couple on the train while he was reading the Hobbit or Lord of the Rings to her, it was sooo sweet that I never forgot







.


----------



## Storm Bride

Quote:


Originally Posted by *EnviroBecca* 
I read to my son on the bus every day, chapter books that don't have a picture on every page. The other day he was looking out the window while I read, and some random lady felt a need to interrupt us:
LADY: He's not listening!
ME: Oh? (to kid) Are you not listening?
KID: Huh? I was listening. He's going up to the attic to look at the toy castle.
ME: (to lady) He was listening.
LADY: You oughta make him look at the book. He gotta see the pictures, or he won't understand it.
ME: There aren't any pictures. He just told you what's happening in the story, so he does understand.
KID:







I make the pictures in my mind.
LADY:







: Li'l smartie!
KID:







Read the story, please.

Oh - that makes my head hurt. She butts in to tell you what to do, then gets annoyed at your child, because she was wrong? People can be just unreal.

I'm reading Harry Potter to dd. Sometimes, she starts doing something else, so I'll check in. Usually, she's still paying attention (just using her hands and eyes for something else), but sometimes she's done, and wants me to stop. For whatever reason, she doesn't _tell_ me when she's done. That's why I check. I can't even begin to imagine interrupting someone _else's_ reading time like that! Sometimes, even when ds1 didn't understand, he liked me to read to him, just for the sound...

Quote:

But all those people are outweighed by the many whose eyes have lit up as they heard the story and who've leaned over to tell us how they read that book when they were kids, and the old ladies who say things like, "Your mother is giving you a great gift. Do you know how lucky you are?"








Cool! I like to hear stuff like that.


----------



## Storm Bride

Quote:


Originally Posted by *A&A* 
My MIL when she found out we were leaving our son intact (non-circumcised): "Oh, you two will do anything to be different."

OMG! I think I'd have trouble restraining myself! Of course, I didn't lop off part of my son's penis, because I want to be _different_. I mean - what other motivation could I have possibly had? Ugh..

This thread is hilarious, tragic and infuriating, all at once.


----------



## TexasG

The worst thing anyone has said---and my family has said a lot--usually under breath or when I am not there--was from my brother--one of the dumbest people I know.

While we were visiting over the holidays, we started talking about how
i was a real stinker to him when we were little. I was not mean, but had him do things like if he wanted to join my "club"( basically to come in my room and play ) he had to run around the house wearing a silly hat. We were around 7 (me) and 3(him.). Things like that. By no means horrible. While we were laughing about all this he blurted out "well, at least I am not screwing up MY kid" completely out of left field and a lttle awkward. I was in a room with all the family-children included and did not really say anything to this, but now I wish I had. I guess he really let his true feeling fly out! The worst part about all of it was after he had left, I told my mother that it really made me upset, not that I want his approval for my parenting, but that he can't be more of a nice person, and she went ballistic and stared in on me for getting mad at him and basically told me to get over it. Her words. I guess I know where I stand now!


----------



## kriket

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SarahElizabeth* 
DH, when I was getting teary about being unable breastfeed: "You're still doing all of the night feeds, right? I mean, you were going to be up all night feeding him anyway, this way it's almost as if you are breastfeeding!"

No, dear, it's really not the same.


















I would have knocked him in ... you know where.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *A&A* 
My MIL when she found out we were leaving our son intact (non-circumcised): "Oh, you two will do anything to be different."

I would have told her "well since we're naming him Loveskye Earth moonbeam, and dressing him in burlap until he is 15, and not letting him eat anything unless it falls off the tree naturally, I figured I would do him a favor and leave his penis like the other 90% of penises in the world."







:


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 

I'm reading Harry Potter to dd. Sometimes, she starts doing something else, so I'll check in. Usually, she's still paying attention (just using her hands and eyes for something else), but sometimes she's done, and wants me to stop. For whatever reason, she doesn't _tell_ me when she's done. That's why I check. I can't even begin to imagine interrupting someone _else's_ reading time like that! Sometimes, even when ds1 didn't understand, he liked me to read to him, just for the sound...

My MIL did a class for her teaching certificate that discussed learning styles. She said that a lot of the kids that are labeled as "annoying" because they tap their pencil, doodle, or hum to themselves actually HAVE to do these things to pay attention and learn properly...

Sorry, back on topic.


----------



## Harmony96

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kriket* 
I would have told her "well since we're naming him Loveskye Earth moonbeam, and dressing him in burlap until he is 15, and not letting him eat anything unless it falls off the tree naturally, I figured I would do him a favor and leave his penis like the other 90% of penises in the world."







:









My family was all pouting and stuff when we didn't find out the gender w/ DD, AND we didn't share her name until she was born (and plan to do the same w/ this one). My mom asked me the other day if she and my sisters could give us name suggestions, and I told her that I'd "take her suggestions into consideration" lol. I admire people who name their children something a little unusual, but those sorts of names are just not for me, but I can totally borrow them and share them w/ my family and ask them what they think of such-and-such a name. It'll be fun to see their reaction, lol.

But I do have a comment. Mom asked the other day if I "finally" weaned DD, and I told her no, but that it's only like every couple of days. So of course she just thinks that's "wrong" and said "But you're pregnant, you need to stop!" I asked her, "When do you think was the last time I cared about what other people thought about stuff like that, that I do?" lol. Then she starts spouting off ages... 2, 12, 22, 32... and I had to stop her... "Mom. I'm not even 31 yet, where did that 32 come from?" lol


----------



## ramlita

AFWife,
Yay!!! I love to hear of teachers learning about this stuff


----------



## hollyvangogh

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ernalala* 
I once saw a happy-in-love couple on the train while he was reading the Hobbit or Lord of the Rings to her, it was sooo sweet that I never forgot







.

DH reads to me. He started the LotR trilogy while I was pregnant. And we're still going. I even have a picture of him reading it to newborn DD in the hospital.







He also read her lots of children's books while she was still in my belly.


----------



## veganone

Holly - you are the cutest family. Adorable - all of you.


----------



## amberskyfire

I just got one today from my grandmother. She lives overseas and I'll be visiting her with the baby in a couple of weeks. She told me today about how she went out and bought a stroller for us to use. I thanked her, but reminded her that I practice attachment parenting and carry my baby everywhere.

She said "oh, well, if we go out shopping together, you can use the stroller so you don't get tired."

I told her that I shop, go downtown, take trips to the zoo and everything else while carrying my baby. We go for a 1-2 mile walk every single day at least once a day and I've been doing it since she was born and I still never get tired.

Her reply? "Well, we'll just see about that."

Right! Because my old hunched and shuffling granny is going to outlast a 28-year-old mother of a toddler.









And this doesn't really quite count as advice, BUT...

When my cousin had her baby four months after I gave birth, she told everyone she wasn't going to breastfeed him because her breasts "belong to her husband." She swore she would exclusively pump.

When she found out a week later that I was pumping extra milk to donate to a severely premature baby in California, she told me that she would like to have the milk instead and that I should send it to her so that SHE wouldn't have to pump anymore.










She ended up switching him to formula after two weeks.


----------



## MittensKittens

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
When my cousin had her baby four months after I gave birth, she told everyone she wasn't going to breastfeed him because her breasts "belong to her husband." She swore she would exclusively pump.

When she found out a week later that I was pumping extra milk to donate to a severely premature baby in California, she told me that she would like to have the milk instead and that I should send it to her so that SHE wouldn't have to pump anymore.










She ended up switching him to formula after two weeks.


Wow!


----------



## Mommy2Austin

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
And this doesn't really quite count as advice, BUT...

When my cousin had her baby four months after I gave birth, she told everyone she wasn't going to breastfeed him because her breasts "belong to her husband." She swore she would exclusively pump.

When she found out a week later that I was pumping extra milk to donate to a severely premature baby in California, she told me that she would like to have the milk instead and that I should send it to her so that SHE wouldn't have to pump anymore.










She ended up switching him to formula after two weeks.


Words just can't even describe...







:


----------



## ernalala

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AFWife* 
My MIL did a class for her teaching certificate that discussed learning styles. She said that a lot of the kids that are labeled as "annoying" because they tap their pencil, doodle, or hum to themselves actually HAVE to do these things to pay attention and learn properly...

Sorry, back on topic.

Oh yes! When I was drawing or doodling during lessons, were the times where I was MOST concentrated on the lesson







. Rather than the times I was looking out of the window or towards the teacher all of the time. Uhm and I was not labeled as 'annoying', mostly no-one except the pupil next to me noticed me drawing







, I was an easy-going kid in class and always had good marks







.


----------



## A&A

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
OMG! I think I'd have trouble restraining myself! Of course, I didn't lop off part of my son's penis, because I want to be _different_. I mean - what other motivation could I have possibly had? Ugh..

.

I know. It was a totally weird comment.


----------



## A&A

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kriket* 









I would have told her "well since we're naming him Loveskye Earth moonbeam, and dressing him in burlap until he is 15, and not letting him eat anything unless it falls off the tree naturally, I figured I would do him a favor and leave his penis like the other 90% of penises in the world."







:


----------



## bluedaisy

these are great! I had to subscribe to this one


----------



## ernalala

When a girl from our neighbourhood (and a same-age friend of both of my sons) had been quite an 'harassment for our family' today, my MIL told me I should discourage/tell them not to play with her anymore (uh no, even if I was pretty annoyed with her today, and many other days, doesn't mean we will cut ties, they are friernds and have the right to play together) and then 'because she's a girl and they are boys'. Meaning: 'girls and boys should play seperarely'. We are speaking here of 3-5y olds.

Now I know (and respect) that she sees things from a very different perspective than I do, because of some cultural and personal beliefs, but this just made me sick to the stomach, and me who does not want my sons to have to hear such comments... I am raising them in a non-gender-stereotype way and there you go.


----------



## Storm Bride

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AFWife* 
My MIL did a class for her teaching certificate that discussed learning styles. She said that a lot of the kids that are labeled as "annoying" because they tap their pencil, doodle, or hum to themselves actually HAVE to do these things to pay attention and learn properly...

You know...that's interesting. I'd never made the connection, but I think I was like that, too. I guess dd comes by it honestly. I don't think dh is like that at all, which is probably why it annoys him a little.


----------



## Storm Bride

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
When my cousin had her baby four months after I gave birth, she told everyone she wasn't going to breastfeed him because her breasts "belong to her husband."

Okay - that one makes me ill. My breasts belong to me, with a contract lease option to any baby I have. Ick.

Quote:

She swore she would exclusively pump.

When she found out a week later that I was pumping extra milk to donate to a severely premature baby in California, she told me that she would like to have the milk instead and that I should send it to her so that SHE wouldn't have to pump anymore.










She ended up switching him to formula after two weeks.
How infuriating...and sad.


----------



## ramlita

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
You know...that's interesting. I'd never made the connection, but I think I was like that, too. I guess dd comes by it honestly. I don't think dh is like that at all, which is probably why it annoys him a little.

DD hums, snaps, taps, sings, smacks her lips... constantly. Always has.
Some days it drives me absolutely bananas. On those days, it's really hard not to ask her to be quiet.
It's good to see some confirmation that it meets a need for her, and my best response is to just deal with it.









DS and I seek out quiet.







:
DD and DP seek out music/noise and action:







:

I'm glad there's no odd one out in our little family.


----------



## tjjazzy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *geiamama* 
Thank you.

DH's main complaint is that everyone feels compelled to tell him the blindingly obvious just because he's a man...

MIL "Make sure she's wearing a coat"
DH "Really, I thought she'd enjoy going out in the rain in just a nappy"

GMIL "She's tired, she should have a nap"
DH "Oh so that's what yawning means"

The worst is my SIL. She has no children of her own but because she's a primary school teacher she believes she is the absolute authority on children. No matter how many times DH tries to tell her she just cannot believe that kids can act completely differently at home than they do in school and that parents who spend eighteen hours of the day and night with said kids(obviously barring the time that they're in school) might have a better idea of how to treat them!


my mom is something like that with my DH. she just CANNOT believe a daddy can take care of his children without the help of a woman. just b/c my father was useless doesn't mean all men are!! however, if he'd stop losing his temper in front of her, that would help A LOT. LOL.


----------



## tjjazzy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
No. She was going over in her head what changes have been made in the recommendations that they make. That was very clear from the subsequent conversation. I don't remember the details, but I do remember she gave me different advice on how often to feed, etc. The whole visit was painful. I refuse them, now. I have enough on my plate with my other kids, a newborn and a surgical recovery. I don't need strangers in my house giving me pointless "information" and adding to my stress.

that's unfortunate







the health nurse who visited me _saved_ my BFing relationship with my son by helping us with our latch (on a couple occasions) and she actually recommended co-sleeping and listed benefits. she was probably younger than i am and experienced with BFing & co-sleeping. she was very up-to-date on everything. i'm so glad she is the local nurse who does the first week home visits and goes to Early Years centers and helps mommies out with anything they need.


----------



## Storm Bride

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tjjazzy* 
that's unfortunate







the health nurse who visited me _saved_ my BFing relationship with my son by helping us with our latch (on a couple occasions) and she actually recommended co-sleeping and listed benefits. she was probably younger than i am and experienced with BFing & co-sleeping. she was very up-to-date on everything. i'm so glad she is the local nurse who does the first week home visits and goes to Early Years centers and helps mommies out with anything they need.

Don't get me wrong. I'm glad the nurses and LCs are there to help, if needed. I just wish they'd learn to butt out when people don't want or need the help. In my case, I've had some difficulties initially with two of my three babies, but _I_ do better when I'm left alone to figure things out for myself (this applies to almost everything in my life), and they just won't back off. This woman wasn't really doing a lot of "what issues are you having?" or "let's check your latch" kind of stuff, though - it was just really weird advice about supply, mastitis, etc.

OTOH, at least she didn't grab my breast and my baby without my consent, like the LC at the hospital when I had ds2!


----------



## smeisnotapirate

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tjjazzy* 
that's unfortunate







the health nurse who visited me _saved_ my BFing relationship with my son by helping us with our latch (on a couple occasions) and she actually recommended co-sleeping and listed benefits. she was probably younger than i am and experienced with BFing & co-sleeping. she was very up-to-date on everything. i'm so glad she is the local nurse who does the first week home visits and goes to Early Years centers and helps mommies out with anything they need.

Ditto. But boy, have I seen the other side, too.







:


----------



## hippiemommaof4

my neighbor reguarding BFing " oh you'll get tired of that when you want to sleep through the night"







yeah because FFing moms of newborns get a full nights rest every night huh, NOT! I wanted to say....ummm Babies dont sleep through the night when they are newborns no matter what you feed them (well the majority dont anyway) you idiot but I just ignored her. The people down the street who told me I should go out and get drunk and pump and dump...no thanks I have five kids I have no desire to leave my newborn and other children to get wasted but thanks anyway.

Oh and I just love how MY reproductive organs are everyones business too..I could be here all day on that one and one of the all time stupidest that my MIL has been saying since we had our first "it doesnt hurt them to cry its good for the lungs"







...I can probably think of more later lmao!


----------



## amberskyfire

We are leaving to visit family today and I was talking to my Dad about how I'm nervous about whether or not the baby will sleep on the flight. He told me to put beer in a bottle and give it to her. He said "that's what people do."

What?!!








I said "nooooo, Dad, nobody gives their baby beer in a bottle."
"Yes they do," he insisted. "I just read it! It puts them out *snap* like that."
"Yeah, Dad, because the poor little buggers are DRUNK!"

Who would DO that?!


----------



## ~Boudicca~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
We are leaving to visit family today and I was talking to my Dad about how I'm nervous about whether or not the baby will sleep on the flight. He told me to put beer in a bottle and give it to her. He said "that's what people do."

What?!!








I said "nooooo, Dad, nobody gives their baby beer in a bottle."
"Yes they do," he insisted. "I just read it! It puts them out *snap* like that."
"Yeah, Dad, because the poor little buggers are DRUNK!"

Who would DO that?!

Makes you a little worried about your own experiences as a baby, huh?


----------



## PatienceAndLove

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Boudicca~* 
Makes you a little worried about your own experiences as a baby, huh?

Like how my mom and dad were having dinner outside, and DD was outside with them, and she kept spitting her binkie out onto the ground, and my dad would dip it into his wine to "disinfect it" before he gave it back to her.
She was teething at the time, too. I am not sure who manipulating who in that particular situation


----------



## ~Boudicca~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PatienceAndLove* 
She was teething at the time, too. I am not sure who manipulating who in that particular situation










Yeah huh? Something tells me that she didn't mind


----------



## femalephish

I told my friend that we are having a homebirth and he said, "You know you won't be able to have an epidural there, right?"

ummm.. yes. (you know thousands of women give birth without one everyday, right?)

Then he said, "I didn't know you were even allowed to give birth at home anymore." I said, 'Allowed by who? It's my body, baby and birth. I get to decide" He said, "Oh."

Honestly, it wasn't funny, it was sad.


----------



## Theoretica

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
We are leaving to visit family today and I was talking to my Dad about how I'm nervous about whether or not the baby will sleep on the flight. He told me to put beer in a bottle and give it to her. He said "that's what people do."

What?!!








I said "nooooo, Dad, nobody gives their baby beer in a bottle."
"Yes they do," he insisted. "I just read it! It puts them out *snap* like that."
"Yeah, Dad, because the poor little buggers are DRUNK!"

Who would DO that?!

Ummmm (clearing throat nervously).....apparently your DAD would









Didja ask him if he ever did this with you? I'd be so freaking curious if it were me!!!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *femalephish* 
I told my friend that we are having a homebirth and he said, *"You know you won't be able to have an epidural there, right?"*

It *would* have been classic if you had stopped cold, looked at him in HORROR and said OMG....NO!!!! I had NO idea!!!!! WOW! Thanks for clearing that up!!! I mean SHEESH...what is the world COMING to these days?!?!!


----------



## timang

i live away from my child due to my job. she's 3 years old and
she's always with her nanny. Every weekend, i came to visit her.
i hate it when she calls her nanny mommy and she can't recognize who i am.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *timang* 
i live away from my child due to my job. she's 3 years old and
she's always with her nanny. Every weekend, i came to visit her.
i hate it when she calls her nanny mommy and she can't recognize who i am.

















that would be horrible. I assume the nanny discourages this?

Do you have anything to share where we could come up with good come backs? Part of the point of this thread is to have a bit of fun with thinking of things to say to mean people.


----------



## smeisnotapirate

I have a dear friend who is a nurse who told me when I said my next one would be a HBAC "You know that if something happens, homebirths mean dead babies."







:

I told her that considering my last labor was laboring out of the hospital 50+ hours before I needed the c-section (







) I'd take that risk. Which of course meant everyone sitting with us was like "well that's just SELFISH to risk your baby like that."








:


----------



## onelilguysmommy

this is only one thing but what im reading now reminded me, i might post more later lol

my grandma took us to mcdonalds one day ( yes i know bad, dont go there please we dont NORMALLY eat it)
i told her my 2nd doesnt eat meat. she brought him apples and crackers because i told her he eats their apples if i go there. okay fine.
well then, he was apparently starving "and the poor little feller has cravings!" and so she was going to get him a burger and fries. i said no, he ate 2 fries and that was more than enough and burgers are meat.
"well ill get him nuggts then" UMMM







: thats MEAT!!
and yeah, i was starving him because i didnt give him chicken and burger :sigh:

this is the same person who was arguing with me in mcdonalds telling me i have to get my tubes tied cause i have too many kids and its not right, and i dont need them.

and told me to smack my 5mo and got mad that i wouldnt let her because he was cruising on her stupid coffee table.

not really parenting but ive been told "once youre in labor you will have to have an epidural, you cant do it without one!" uhh..okay. and i already had 2 kids so im thoroughly baffled about that. apparently i didnt birth them? hmm.
and "they" didnt let me birth alone, nor in a birth center. i had my second in a hospital and with doctors, nor a ucx, and i just didnt notice







:

ive also been told bfing my then 2 and 3yo son would make him gay. for one, how in the heck is a boy liking boobs remotely gay?







and for another, and i said it "i dont know how that would work, but why si that a bad thing anyway?" geez..

oh and his ^%^&^ mom said that our oldest couldnt be his cause hes redheaded







:. now our third has red hair, too but she wont acknowledge that any of them are his so i assume thats helping if she knows yet. i dont know jhow she says our second isnt his though from looks... hes brown headed.


----------



## MsHiss

Quote:


Originally Posted by *femalephish* 
I told my friend that we are having a homebirth and he said, "You know you won't be able to have an epidural there, right?"

ummm.. yes. (you know thousands of women give birth without one everyday, right?)

Then he said, "I didn't know you were even allowed to give birth at home anymore." I said, 'Allowed by who? It's my body, baby and birth. I get to decide" He said, "Oh."

Honestly, it wasn't funny, it was sad.

OMG watch out for the birth police!


----------



## geiamama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *onelilguysmommy* 
this is only one thing but what im reading now reminded me, i might post more later lol

my grandma took us to mcdonalds one day ( yes i know bad, dont go there please we dont NORMALLY eat it)
i told her my 2nd doesnt eat meat. she brought him apples and crackers because i told her he eats their apples if i go there. okay fine.
well then, he was apparently starving "and the poor little feller has cravings!" and so she was going to get him a burger and fries. i said no, he ate 2 fries and that was more than enough and burgers are meat.
"well ill get him nuggts then" UMMM







: thats MEAT!!
and yeah, i was starving him because i didnt give him chicken and burger :sigh:

I get completely where you are coming from. Most of my family have been wonderful giving DS meat-free alternatives when he comes over for tea but great-grandma did the classic "but it's only chicken" line, as if chicken somehow grows on trees! But then this is the woman who almost killed my cousin because she believed that a peanut allergy was "just a silly fad" and that that not giving him peanuts was "giving in to his picky eating".


----------



## AVeryGoodYear

In comparison to the things I'm reading here, my one dumb thing that someone's said to me seems absolutely irrelevant, but it's been bugging me for days...

In my apartment building, I live next door to my landlady and across the hall from an absolutely wretched wicked old lady. The other day, with baby in the carrier, I took the dogs out and when we came back in to get the mail, we ran into the landlady. She made small talk about the dogs, then looked up at my daughter and said, "She cries, eh?"

My response was "Sometimes babies do that." But now every time my daughter cries, even a little bit, all I can hear is my landlady's voice ringing in my head with "She cries, eh?"







As if I'm a bad mom ...


----------



## Harmony96

Quote:


Originally Posted by *geiamama* 
I get completely where you are coming from. Most of my family have been wonderful giving DS meat-free alternatives when he comes over for tea but great-grandma did the classic "but it's only chicken" line, as if chicken somehow grows on trees! But then this is the woman who almost killed my cousin because she believed that a peanut allergy was "just a silly fad" and that that not giving him peanuts was "giving in to his picky eating".









The "only chicken" comment reminded me of that scene in My Big Fat Greek Wedding:

"What do you MEAN you don't eat no meat? That's ok, I make you some lamb."


----------



## minkajane

I had to meet with the WIC nutritionist the other day. She looked very worried when I said we were vegetarian and immediately started talking about giving him more chicken and fish to get his iron up. Uh, what did you not get about the word VEGETARIAN?? No, I don't care that your friend calls himself a vegetarian and eats chicken and fish. I don't care that your other friend eats fish too and also claims to be a vegetarian. What's difficult about the VEG part of the word? As in VEGetation. I DON'T EAT MEAT.

*Sigh* At least she added an extra dozen eggs to our coupon every month. Because we all know that eggs are the one and only non-meat source of protein in the world, so we have to make sure DS eats two full dozen eggs every month or he'll wither away.







:


----------



## PatienceAndLove

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Harmony96* 
The "only chicken" comment reminded me of that scene in My Big Fat Greek Wedding:

"What do you MEAN you don't eat no meat? That's ok, I make you some lamb."










I like lamb








BAAAAA!


----------



## heidirk

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 
I have a dear friend who is a nurse who told me when I said my next one would be a HBAC "You know that if something happens, homebirths mean dead babies."







:








:


And infants don't die in hospital?









When are people gonna get that the hospital is NOT the safer place to give birth?!


----------



## Agatha_Ann

Not nearly as bad as some of these but it upset me!

A couple years ago I was at some appointment with my then three kids under six. It was taking forever and we ended up sitting in this woman's office for a good hour. My kids were fantastic and at the end of the meeting the woman commented on how well behaved they are. I smiled and said thank you and she followed it up with, "You must get a lot of help from your mom."

Still not quite sure what that meant??

One more...

I was on vacation with my extended family and we had a day that consisted of a three hour drive to the airport, delayed plane, four hour flight, lost luggage, another two hours in the car...not an ideal day for a two year old! We got to the town where we were staying and we had to stop at Target. Inside my at the time two year old daughter completely melted down and was screaming at the top of her lungs. I had seperated from my family and was trying to find them so I could take her outside to settle down and they would know where we were. We were walking around trying to find them with her just losing it and this older woman walked over, got right in DD's face and yelled "YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY PERSON IN THIS STORE!" I was in total shock! We finally found my aunt and told her we were heading outside and went and sat on a bench. DD was sitting on my lap, but still crying when the same woman came out the door, looked over, and once again, "STILL?! GET A GRIP CHILD!"


----------



## minkajane

OMG, Agatha! Please tell me you slapped that woman silly!


----------



## yasinsmama

Agatha, my blood pressure just shot up reading your post. And sadly, I think I would have been so shocked that I couldn't have told her off.


----------



## Agatha_Ann

Quote:


Originally Posted by *yasinsmama* 
Agatha, my blood pressure just shot up reading your post. And sadly, I think I would have been so shocked that I couldn't have told her off.

I was! It was so over the top that I was speechless! When my family all came out of the store and I told them they had plenty to say, but she was long gone at that point. I had to go back in the store too because my DD had tried on a headband and a belt and we just walked straight out of the store with them! Whoops!


----------



## Anna1979

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Agatha_Ann* 

I was on vacation with my extended family and we had a day that consisted of a three hour drive to the airport, delayed plane, four hour flight, lost luggage, another two hours in the car...not an ideal day for a two year old! We got to the town where we were staying and we had to stop at Target. Inside my at the time two year old daughter completely melted down and was screaming at the top of her lungs. I had seperated from my family and was trying to find them so I could take her outside to settle down and they would know where we were. We were walking around trying to find them with her just losing it and this older woman walked over, got right in DD's face and yelled "YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY PERSON IN THIS STORE!" I was in total shock! We finally found my aunt and told her we were heading outside and went and sat on a bench. DD was sitting on my lap, but still crying when the same woman came out the door, looked over, and once again, "STILL?! GET A GRIP CHILD!"









Your poor DD. I can imagine what kind of stress she must have been feeling since your experience sounds like my last flight home to visit my sister and her new DD and by the end I almost had a melt down at standing at the ticket desk trying to find out where my luggage was at 1am.


----------



## russsk

I was out walking with DS last week. He was on my back in the mei tai, and was perfectly happy when some guy starts yelling at me. He was far enough away so I wasn't sure what he was talking about, and I kept walking. As he got closer I could tell that he was yelling at me for forcing DS to stare at my back - that he needs to be in a stroller facing forward so he can see. First of all, he can see over my shoulder just fine, and is just as happy staring at the sky, or looking to the sides. Second of all, if he is the slightest bit unhappy, you can bet that I'd be the first to know about it.

So I write this guy off and go about my business, when I hear him yell to another stranger walking down the street about how horrible I am to my kid to carry him like that and what's wrong with me. Ugh.


----------



## nolansmummy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Agatha_Ann* 

I was on vacation with my extended family and we had a day that consisted of a three hour drive to the airport, delayed plane, four hour flight, lost luggage, another two hours in the car...not an ideal day for a two year old! We got to the town where we were staying and we had to stop at Target. Inside my at the time two year old daughter completely melted down and was screaming at the top of her lungs. I had seperated from my family and was trying to find them so I could take her outside to settle down and they would know where we were. We were walking around trying to find them with her just losing it and this older woman walked over, got right in DD's face and yelled "YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY PERSON IN THIS STORE!" I was in total shock! We finally found my aunt and told her we were heading outside and went and sat on a bench. DD was sitting on my lap, but still crying when the same woman came out the door, looked over, and once again, "STILL?! GET A GRIP CHILD!"









I can't imagine what i would have said to her- i doubt it would have been nice- Yikes. Who thinks it's ok to talk to people like that , especially young children?


----------



## FarmerCathy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Agatha_Ann* 
I was on vacation with my extended family and we had a day that consisted of a three hour drive to the airport, delayed plane, four hour flight, lost luggage, another two hours in the car...not an ideal day for a two year old! We got to the town where we were staying and we had to stop at Target. Inside my at the time two year old daughter completely melted down and was screaming at the top of her lungs. I had seperated from my family and was trying to find them so I could take her outside to settle down and they would know where we were. We were walking around trying to find them with her just losing it and this older woman walked over, got right in DD's face and yelled "YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY PERSON IN THIS STORE!" I was in total shock! We finally found my aunt and told her we were heading outside and went and sat on a bench. DD was sitting on my lap, but still crying when the same woman came out the door, looked over, and once again, "STILL?! GET A GRIP CHILD!"









I had a similar experience at the library book sale. It's always in a room next to the library so I didn't think I needed to keep my ds super quiet, but anyway, he was not super loud or screaming or anything and some old lady looks down at him and says, "Shut-up you stupid little thing!" I was so mad, and asked how she could talk like that and to a child and how rude she was. I was livid and had to leave the room. It was awful.







:


----------



## Theoretica

Lordy me, I don't know what I'd do if someone spoke to my child the way you guys have experienced. I mean, usually I'm pretty introverted IRL, but that'd probably flip every switch I have and I could see me just marching after her and giving her a jumbo sized piece of my mind. How dare they!

_whew....managed the rant without a single uav.....







_


----------



## geiamama

Ooh I just remembered another one, although technically it wasn't when I was a parent...

I have always had a close relationship with my younger cousins, using any excuse to 'play mummy' with them. When I was 19 I took the two girls, then aged 4mths and 4yrs, into town to do some seasonal shopping (and give their mother a well-earned break). We were in a children's clothing store and I had Emily in a Welsh-sling so I was hovering on the edge of the racks and allowing Marie to pick out pretty things she liked and bring them to me. Both girls were immaculately behaved and I couldn't have been more proud when a little old lady came up to me to comment on how peacefully the baby was sleeping and that she hadn't seen a Welsh-sling since her mother.









But she obviously couldn't see Emily properly in the sling and DEFINATELY couldn't see Marie amongst the racks because when I opened up the sling for her to sneek a peak she became cold and said "isn't she a bit dark?" Then when Marie came running up with her 'bestest dress ever' the little old lady flipped completely and shouted in my face







: "you slutty teenage mothers with your muddy children are what's wrong with the world today" and stomped off.









I was so shocked. I couldn't move but when I realised that Marie had been frightened and was crying it snapped me back. I calmed her down (a treat trip to McDonalds helped) but I couldn't stop it ging through my head. I understood the misconception that they had been my children but I couldn't work out what the problem was.







:

The girls had been well behaved. I though maybe that Marie had got some of the clothes mucky and I hadn't seen but both girls were squeaky clean and in mittens! It finally dawned on me that the reason the woman had flipped so completely and called the girls 'muddy' was their ethnicity. They're mixed race.

It knocked me sideways.







I grew up in a predominately white, very liberal enviroment and so had never experience racism before. It was disgusting and made me physically sick that someone could harbour such bile and hate towards two such beautiful, innocent little girls who love everyone they meet without judgement. It's never happened again but that incident has stayed with me ever since.


----------



## emamum

i think i posted while pregnant about my nana saying that if i'd carried on smoking i wouldnt be having the 'problem' of my baby being so big (she was 8lb 13oz btw, ds was 7lb 9oz and i quit for him aswell)

2 hours after i gave birth (3 weeks today







: )they turned up at my house

she said not to worry about the extra weight, i would soon lose that (i was exhausted and hadnt even looked









a couple of days later and dd hadnt really slept she came back... and told me i should have had drugs in labour cos they pass over to the baby and make them sleep a couple of days so i could rest(the exact reason i didnt have the drugs either time)

my milk hadnt come in yet and dd was feeding constantly ( same as ds, i have hungry babys that grow well, she is 10lb 2oz now) she said i should give her a bottle and if she wouldnt take it to just leave her with someone else and go out, eventually she would reaslise that mummy (and the boobies) werent there and would get so hungry she would take anything

then she offered me a cigarrette and was surprised when i told her she had to go outside to smoke... apparenlty it didnt do me any harm when i was little (apart from the croup i got at 6 months and the asthma







)

ive had all the, you dont have to pick her up when she cries and to leave her in the moses basket instead of taking her in with me cos she3 hates it cos she has to learn thats where she sleeps.... i also need to pump because " what if she wants feeding while you are out" i am a single mum, theres no one else here to feed her so i would be pumping, sterilising etc to give her a bottle of something i have on tap







: whats the point in that?


----------



## Down2Earth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *russsk* 
I was out walking with DS last week. He was on my back in the mei tai, and was perfectly happy when some guy starts yelling at me. He was far enough away so I wasn't sure what he was talking about, and I kept walking. As he got closer I could tell that he was yelling at me for forcing DS to stare at my back - that he needs to be in a stroller facing forward so he can see. First of all, he can see over my shoulder just fine, and is just as happy staring at the sky, or looking to the sides. Second of all, if he is the slightest bit unhappy, you can bet that I'd be the first to know about it.

So I write this guy off and go about my business, when I hear him yell to another stranger walking down the street about how horrible I am to my kid to carry him like that and what's wrong with me. Ugh.

What is wrong with some people? I would have said that the reason my lo is safely on my back and not in a stroller is because of crazy strangers like that guy. Okay, I probably wouldn't have said anything. But it would have been nice to have a comeback for that guy.


----------



## elsa_elsa

I was trying to think of where to share this







moment and I remembered this thread. It certainly was the worst parenting advice I've heard in along time.

We live in an apartment in a house, our landlord lives upstairs with his two sons. Our apartment opens into a short hallway where there is a set of stairs going up and one going down. The stairs go down into a windowless finished basement where LL used to run a computer fixing business. On the far side of this loooonnngg room is a small computer room and the laundry room (which LL shares with us). LL is a very nice man who really likes DS but he's definately got a different parenting style then we do.

Our apartment is a one bedroom, which is fine right now because we co-sleep with DS. (although we told LL that he sleeps in a crib in our room). The other day LL invited me in for tea and cookies and DS got juice and played with some of LL's son's toys.

LL says "I've been thinking that you'll probably be needing a bedroom for (DS) soon. You let me know when and I"ll just clear out the small computer room for you. All you'd need is a baby monitor and he could sleep in there."










I can't think of anything more frightening sleep arrangement for my son then to be put in a scary basement room with no windows on a different floor in the other part of the house.

I quickly changed the subject.


----------



## MG01

In the NICU when my son was a few weeks old one of the nurses was constantly talking about how he needed to learn to soothe himself from crying and to sleep alone, because otherwise it was "unfair" to give him expectations I didn't plan to meet. I responded that actually, I absolutely planned to meet his expectations that his needs be met and cries responded to, and if he wouldn't be sleeping alone at home, why would I need to "train" him to do it in the hospital? I tried to explain a bit about my parenting philosophies to her, and at one point she goes- "Well he is going to have to grow up sometime.." Uhh yeah, he is three weeks old, that time is not now!! Lol. She sputtered something, like, that's not what I meant, but I hope it made her realize how ridiculous these expectations are for infants.

My mother said to me the other day, I know you oppose bottles (for the record, I don't oppose them, but I am with my child and thus he has no need for one right now, and I am not comfortable introducing them whilst transitioning him off the nipple shield which we are working on) but I am worried that with all the time he spends nursing, he is missing out on other developmental tasks and his motor skills and cognitive development are going to suffer." So basically, I should pump and feed him my milk in a bottle because nursing the way nature designed is going to stunt his development. I told her that research on the benefits of breastfeeding on physical and mental development were not based on pumping and bottle feeding breast milk, but on breastfeeding as nature intended it, and that my baby knows his needs better than anyone. (To which she actually replied, no they do not!)









My father was adjusting his pants because his belt had come undone or something, and he said excuse me or pardon me, I have to adjust my belt.. and then added something snarky like, since you pull your breasts out all the time I figure you won't mind.. uhh like that's the same thing. I mean, I don't really care if you adjust your pants, but it has nothing to do with my feeding my baby!

My grandma is actually very open minded and progressive in many ways, but she has a few.. she says the whole crying exercises their lungs thing (_not_ as advocating letting a baby cry per se, but still) and when I said something about vaccines and mentioned that I am not doing most of them, maybe all of them, and that his doc recommended a certain one that I am still ambivalent about (HIB), she said, "Well I hope you didn't get your info off the internet, you know there's all sorts of unreliable information out there.. and if his doctor says he should get it, well, I am sure the doctor knows what she is talking about." Now my grandma should know me well enough to know that I am anal about my research and using reliable sources, so she knows better. I have access to hundreds of thousands of research journals and databases through my university library (online) and that's not valid because it's on "the internet?" She has never been on the internet though, so I don't think she really understands, and just sees it as this vast scary place where anyone can write anything, yk? But the whole "the doc knows everything" really gets to me too- they know what they have been told, and they are fallible. Docs have clearly recommended many many things which have later turned out to be harmful or fatal. A close family friend is infertile because her mother's doctor encouraged her to take DES during her pregnancy. I have a health condition which was not diagnosed for almost a year despite frequent doctor visits- I finally did my own research and diagnosed myself. I have enough knowledge and experience to know that just because a doctor says something does not mean much, and I wish she could see that too- it scares me that she is so naive in some ways, yk?

I also get kinda irritated when the second my son fusses, people tell me, oh he's hungry! Like ok, just because he is breastfed and he sometimes yes he cries does not automatically mean he is hungry all the time, and even if he is, I am probably in a better place than you to evaluate and respond to that.. lol. The other day at Easter brunch with family he was fussing and I tried nursing him a few times and he would pull away, and after all that my grandmother goes, I think he's hungry! I was kinda irked at that point and snapped, well considering I have been trying to nurse him for the past ten minutes and he won't do it, I don't think that is the problem.

And people also don't get that nursing is not just "eating," it encompasses non-nutritive and nutritive sucking, as well as the need for closeness and comforting, so I get a lot of stupid comments about that- "nursing sure takes a lot more time than just feeding him bottles" etc.

I am sure I'll think of more but those are what popped to mind.


----------



## MG01

Also, I was at my new mom's group, and one of the moms who'd just had her second child (most of the rest of us are first time mamas) said, "My advice for all the first time moms is to get them on the bottle as early as possible- it's sooo nice to get away from them and be able to go out and just have someone else feed them." Aside from the obvious fact that bottles should not be introduced until breastfeeding is well established, it just struck me the wrong way- maybe it's different as a solo mama, since I don't have a partner to give a bottle even if I wanted, but this emphasis on wanting to get away from your baby and it being such a relief not to have to nurse them is just not something I can relate to, and to say that to a group of new mamas with weeks old babies? Plus the implication that baby can't just go along with and nurse as needed makes it seem like having a baby needs to tie you down and keep you cooped up at home, which is not many womens' reality either, although with the way my little one cries in the car right now we don't go out as much as we might otherwise.. but still, I can't think of anywhere that I would want or need to go at this point in time where the little one couldn't just come along in the sling and nurse as needed. I just hate the emphasis on breastfeeding (and parenting in general) as a burden or inconvenience. Obviously I didn't make any snappy comeback, that is her reality and it is her right to share it, but she seemed to be saying it as direct advice, like that is what we should all be doing, and sometimes in a group like that, comments like that get to me and make me wonder, are the other mamas feeling that way too or am I the only one who is not relating to that perspective, yk?


----------



## smeisnotapirate

Mom was up this weekend, and was really wonderful. I had a laugh about one thing, though.

She bought us this crazy, top of the line stroller, despite me telling her not to waste her money.







When DS was born, she bugged us to use it immediately. I slung him. She said that next time, we'd have him in the stroller. The next time she came out, we were slinging him. She said that by next time, we'd have him in the stroller. This time, she said "where's the stroller?" So I told her that we still haven't used it. She humphed and said "Why did I waste my money on something like that if you're not going to use it??" I laughed and said "Yeah, Ma! Why DID you waste your money on something like that even though I said I wouldn't use it?" We both chuckled and she affectionately said "You hippie. Those slings do look comfy, though.......... and he's really happy in it."


----------



## Harmony96

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 
She humphed and said "Why did I waste my money on something like that if you're not going to use it??" I laughed and said "Yeah, Ma! Why DID you waste your money on something like that even though I said I wouldn't use it?" We both chuckled and she affectionately said "You hippie. Those slings do look comfy, though.......... and he's really happy in it."


----------



## HisBeautifulWife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Agatha_Ann* 
We were walking around trying to find them with her just losing it and this older woman walked over, got right in DD's face and yelled "YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY PERSON IN THIS STORE!" I was in total shock! We finally found my aunt and told her we were heading outside and went and sat on a bench. DD was sitting on my lap, but still crying when the same woman came out the door, looked over, and once again, "STILL?! GET A GRIP CHILD!"









Well you can tell me off because that would have been me. And yes, I am a hypocrite because I'd be mad if someone did that to my child.


----------



## angelamariebee

Quote:


Originally Posted by *joeymama* 
I was wearing my 8mo on my back in the ergo at a grocery store, I had tojog across the store to get my husbands wallet to pay my dd was laughing at the jiggling she was getting, some lady started yelling at me to "stop running, your baby is going to fall out" this is my 3rd child to ride on my back in an ergo I havent lost one yet. is that why people carry their babies in their car seats into stores , safety?


Haha, this reminds me. When bringing DD home from the hospital, I wanted to take her out of the carseat and carry her into the house. We lived on the 16th floor of this huge apartment building. Anyway, DH said, "What if there are kids playing in the lobby and one runs into you? I think you shouldn't take her out of the carseat."

Whaa?? lol. Apparently it's not safe to carry newborns in your arms.


----------



## angelamariebee

Just thought of another.

My mother's step-mother called me when DD was a few weeks old to see how everything was going. Upon hearing that she was nursing about every half hour she said, "Oh you have to put a stop to that!"

When I saw her over a year later at a cousin's graduation, DD was asking to nurse so I nursed her there in front of them and she said, "That's Mama's doing!" as if I was forcing her to nurse! Ugh!


----------



## Jennifer3141

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HisBeautifulWife* 
Well you can tell me off because that would have been me. And yes, I am a hypocrite because I'd be mad if someone did that to my child.

I hope I'm confused by your writing style but you'd actually SAY something like that to a child - let alone ANY person?


----------



## Agatha_Ann

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jennifer3141* 
I hope I'm confused by your writing style but you'd actually SAY something like that to a child - let alone ANY person?

Thank you, I was wondering that too...


----------



## angelamariebee

Quote:


Originally Posted by *noordinaryspider* 
after i told Mom thanks but no thanks for the advice and listened to her tales of how hard it had been to break Sis of the habit of sucking her thumb and how easy it had been to throw my paci away (i don't even remember my paci), practically every conversation about parenting we had would begin with Mom grumbling, "i don't know why you want her to suck her thumb but i tried and tried to talk some sense into you and you refused to listen so...."

none of my kids has ever sucked their thumb.


This reminds me. My MIL had DH convinced that I was being SO MEAN to DD by not "letting her have" a pacifier. She's never had a pacifier (never even offered) and she's never sucked her thumb. She just nursed as needed.

Oh what a monster I am!! lol


----------



## Melly24

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HisBeautifulWife* 
Well you can tell me off because that would have been me. And yes, I am a hypocrite because I'd be mad if someone did that to my child.

Surely you don't mean that you would get in a baby's face and yell at them! I hope you have worded your post incorrectly. No baby should be yelled at. Ever. Whether it is your own or someone else's.


----------



## UhOhWhatNow

People keeping telling me not to hold my baby so much, not to go to him when he cries, or to just put him in another room and let him scream if I want a break.

Um... no. way. in. hell.

(he is THREE WEEKS OLD)


----------



## angelamariebee

I keep thinking of more as I read. I was sitting around chatting with some ladies about all kinds of things and parenting inevitably came up. She had previously mentioned that she's a Christian, follows God's plan, woman's place is in the home, etc etc. So I asked (innocently of course, everything was up for discussion that night), "Why didn't you breastfeed?" since it seemed breastfeeding would fit along nicely with everything else she had mentioned (she didn't nurse either of her two girls). She replied, "Well I smoked and even though I smoked throughout both my pregnancies, the placenta filters it all out but it just goes straight to them in the breastmilk."


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *angelamariebee* 
I keep thinking of more as I read. I was sitting around chatting with some ladies about all kinds of things and parenting inevitably came up. She had previously mentioned that she's a Christian, follows God's plan, woman's place is in the home, etc etc. So I asked (innocently of course, everything was up for discussion that night), "Why didn't you breastfeed?" since it seemed breastfeeding would fit along nicely with everything else she had mentioned (she didn't nurse either of her two girls). She replied, "Well I smoked and even though I smoked throughout both my pregnancies, the placenta filters it all out but it just goes straight to them in the breastmilk."










Ok, I'm new to this thread, and I haven't read the whole thing but...

SERIOUSLY????? SOMEONE SAID THAT?????


----------



## angelamariebee

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thyra* 
Ok, I'm new to this thread, and I haven't read the whole thing but...

SERIOUSLY????? SOMEONE SAID THAT?????






























Yes, and I am not exaggerating one bit. My friend and I tried explaining to her that it was like the OPPOSITE of that, but didn't push it because the conversation had been so friendly and since her youngest was about seven months old, the damage was done. Nothing we can do now! *shrugs*


----------



## UhOhWhatNow

Wow... that's... remarkable... and not in a good way. Holy crap.


----------



## angelamariebee

Quote:


Originally Posted by *yasinsmama* 
I have a new one, form my mom no less!!!
She is a smart lady, and when I was pregnant, she told me that tons of people would be trying to tell me what to do, how to raise him, etc. She told me do do what I want, and what feel right for me.

The other day I told her that people are already telling us not to hold Adam too much or he'll get spoiled. My goodness, the boy is only 4 weeks old, he doesn't even know anything. He NEEDS to be held.
Anyways, this is what my mom said
Me: People tell is not to hold him too much
Mom: Well, don't hold him ALL of the time
Me: If he's content and kicking his legs and moving around, i'll leave him for a bit, but if he cries, I will NOT leave him lying there
Mom: Well how would you feel if someone was picking you up all of the time?










My mom generally didn't give me too much advice as she agreed with most of the things I did, even if she didn't do them herself. She DID tell me a few times though that picking up the baby too much, or passing them around with make them sore.


----------



## Tari Mithrandir

Definitely get the "my baby" from my mother. In her mind, DD is hers because I am hers, and she should get the 'credit' for DD because without her having me, I wouldn't have DD







Can we say twisted logic?

I also get the "Where'd she get her blue eyes from?". Um.. Hi, yeah, I am her mom. *points to blue eyes*

And... my favourite:

"Oh! What beautiful red hair!"
Say what?
DD is blonde. Strawberry-ish tinting in certain lights, especially because her hair is fine and her head is pink on top. But -blonde-. I am blonde. Our hair is the same colour when our heads are close. WTH?







: And then they argue with me about it.

I am sure I have more... People are always surprising me with the 'interesting' things they come up with >_>


----------



## D'sMama

Oooh, I love this thread (in that tragic-funny way)! I finally have one to add.

DS, who's 3 months old, needs to go to bed sometime between 630 and 8 every night - he gets _really_ grumpy if we keep him up later than that, and he sometimes has trouble sleeping on me, especially in the evening or in new environments. Well, we were at a family holiday recently with about 30 people, most of whom had never seen him, and dinner didn't even start until 8ish. (Thankfully, I had him in the Moby, where he stayed the whole night so he wouldn't have to play pass-the-baby. LOVE the Moby for that!) Anyway, I spent pretty much the entire evening walking around the house with him, trying to get him to sleep, but he was so distracted by all the noise and people that he got into that dazed-overtired state where he couldn't sleep. So of course, FIL comes up to see him and gets in his face, making loud excited sounds (at like 9pm when he's exhausted).

Me: "he's really tired and trying to sleep." (read: back off!)
FIL: "no, he's not tired, he's just zoned out." (continues in-your-face cooing at DS)
Me: "no, really, he's _exhausted_."
FIL, to DS in baby-talk voice: "you're not tired, are you? you're just zoned out."
Me:







:

And of course, when we finally got to leave, before dinner was even over, he had a total breakdown in the car on the way home. It was AWFUL. I'm never doing that again.

Why is it that people ignore the mother, or argue with her? NO ONE knows my son better than me! He sleeps with us too, so except for the 3 hours or so that he's sleeping alone before we join him, I spend all day and all night with him. FIL sees him for an hour every few weeks and thinks he knows what's going on with him?







:


----------



## PGTlatte

When DS1 was a few months old, I was walking in our neighborhood with him in a Maya Wrap sling. A woman actually _pulled over her car_ to tell me that she was really worried that the baby could breathe in there and that I should _check right now_ that he was still breathing.









I looked down at him, back at her, "he's fine. Thanks !" Went on with my walk....


----------



## angelamariebee

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RedPony* 
I can clearly remember going into my parents' room after a nightmare and being "allowed" to sleep on the floor next to their bed. Mom even put her hand down for me to hold. Wow, so caring.

My mom did this with me as a compromise with my father who was adamantly opposed to keeping me in bed with them. Better than being alone I guess!


----------



## smeisnotapirate

Quote:


Originally Posted by *angelamariebee* 
My mom did this with me as a compromise with my father who was adamantly opposed to keeping me in bed with them. Better than being alone I guess!

Better than my mom. I got (first) "stop crying! You'll wake your brother!" (a horrible sleeper), a kiss on the head and "it's not real, go back to sleep." *leaves room*


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TwinsTwicePlusTwo* 
I think your dad has been talking to my MIL . . .









Speaking of MIL, I got her on the phone the other day (by accident) and mentioned that I'd driven up Kansas. She says "So you finally came to your senses and got an abortion." I drove up there for charity work! Once I got FIL on the phone, I told him that MIL wanted me to abort his grandchild and he let her have it.









This baby was planned! Planned, planned, PLANNED! Ugh! Usually MIL amuses me, but that time she really pissed me off.

I know this was posted forever ago - but I couldn't help but comment.

The ONLY thing that saved me from getting this comment from some of my family is that Sarah Palin's daughter was announced as being pregnant right around the time that my parents were informing their family's! My baby wasn't planned, and yes I am pro-choice, but I was really worried that my extended family would be unsupportive - instead b/c they couldn't support Obama (not only is he a democrat, he's black) they HAD to support McCain and his running mate.


----------



## nolonger

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 
Better than my mom. I got (first) "stop crying! You'll wake your brother!" (a horrible sleeper), a kiss on the head and "it's not real, go back to sleep." *leaves room*

My mother finally confessed to leaving me to CIO in a soundproofed room "because you were a very fussy baby and I didn't want you to disturb your father."


----------



## Cherry Alive

Quote:


Originally Posted by *angelamariebee* 
Haha, this reminds me. When bringing DD home from the hospital, I wanted to take her out of the carseat and carry her into the house. We lived on the 16th floor of this huge apartment building. Anyway, DH said, "What if there are kids playing in the lobby and one runs into you? I think you shouldn't take her out of the carseat."

Whaa?? lol. Apparently it's not safe to carry newborns in your arms.

We took our 5 week old to Target in a bucket (we put it in a convertible stroller). I wanted to bring her in the Baby Hawk, but wasn't confident with wearing it yet.

She started crying and really wanted out so I unbuckled her and carried her in my arms the rest of the way. Most people smiled when they saw her, but there was a guy in our checkout who kept staring and staring (with a shocked look on his face) as if seeing a baby in someone was the biggest oddity in the world.

I have since given up using the stroller. We've taken some really lovely walks in her Baby Hawk and are going to an art exhibit with it tomorrow. I don't care what other people think. I think it's horrible when people explicitly carry their babies in buckets all the time. Once in a while, I understand, but I almost never see babes in arms anymore... Because people always have them in carseats, it's like you almost never see babies in public. I miss it!


----------



## ramlita

Quote:


Originally Posted by *llp34* 
When DS1 was a few months old, I was walking in our neighborhood with him in a Maya Wrap sling. A woman actually _pulled over her car_ to tell me that she was really worried that the baby could breathe in there and that I should _check right now_ that he was still breathing.









I looked down at him, back at her, "he's fine. Thanks !" Went on with my walk....

Yeah, it's times like that when people really do have the very best intentions,
(however







they may seem to us)

what can you say but, "Thank you for your concern." and get on outta there


----------



## angelamariebee

Quote:


Originally Posted by *angela&avery* 
i have a friend who tells me

#1 my kids are so much EASIER than her one kid bc they have each other to play with... (ok it would have NOTHING to do with how hard I have worked with them for the last 3 years on sibling rivalry and all of the books I have read about sibling rivalry and GD Parenting and how hard I have worked to change my reactions to help lesson the rivalry they had at ages 1 and 3 when I thought I was going to LOSE my MIND.... nothing to do with that...)

#2. my house is always clean bc its small (bull crap, smaller houses have lesser places for things to go ... i still have two kids, and it must have nothing to do with my dedication to having a clean house)

#3.my yard looks nice bc its smaller than hers and not as much upkeep and my floors are clean bc they are tile and bc I see the dirt im motivated to clean them more often!!!! (seriously????







... I know this one isnt parenting but i had to vent)

I know these are kind of old posts but I wanted to comment anyway...

#1. I have one DD and my friend with three kids tells me it's easier than having one for that reason (playing with each other). I've always just assumed this to be true. Hmmm.

#2. I miss my old apartment because it was smaller and easier to keep clean. Although the mess did accumulate faster, so I will agree with you on that one.

#3. I call BS!! lol. We have all tile floors and they seem SO MUCH harder to keep clean than when we had carpet (aside from stains when DD spills something). It's kind of a win/lose I guess.

But that's just my opinion and experience. I wouldn't tell someone they had it easier than me for XYZ reason. That's ridiculous. Not to mention, it isn't a contest! I hate it when people play the whole "my life is harder than yours" game.


----------



## bluedaisy

This is such a great thread! I'm on pg 39 and taking a break to add a few of my own...

My mom is usually very supportive of my parenting choices, but she had a hard time understanding why i would want to bf my dd on demand instead of putting her on a 3 hour schedule. When she was 5 weeks and eating every 2 hours, my mom thought maybe she was eating so often because i wasn't producing enough and i should supplement (my DD definitely did NOT have a problem with growth - I think she was 12 lbs already by 5 weeks!). So my mom said, "she should be able to go 3 hours by now, she's not a baby anymore!" Um, a 5 week old is not a baby????

And the worst was when my dd was about 6 weeks and my (childless) friend called and i casually mentioned that i had been trying to get my dd to sleep for a while. She told me that I shoudl try her BIL's trick - they put their baby's crib in the CLOSET and would just put the baby in the crib and close the door until the morning







: I didnt even know what to say so I just said, "well my dd is only 6 weeks old" and she said that her BIL did this from the day they brought their baby home!














: poor baby!


----------



## angelamariebee

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
I know exactly how you feel. I hate when people hold my baby because even if they are not wearing perfume, my baby still ends up smelling like them and it drives me bonkers. Once the neighbor's teenage daughter came over (she LOVES my baby, so I let her see her all the time) and held her for a little while and when I got her back, I couldn't smell my baby. She smelled like someone else's scent and detergent. It drove me absolutely wild! I could only stand it for about three minutes before I went and scrubbed my baby down in the bath, even though she had already had a bath that morning.

A friend of mine SWORE by the Johnson's baby lotion, telling me that was one of her favorite memories of when her son was an infant (rubbing it on him after a bath) and would always put some on DD when she came over. I never had the heart to tell her I couldn't stand that my baby didn't smell like MY BABY anymore after she would do that!


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bluedaisy* 
And the worst was when my dd was about 6 weeks and my (childless) friend called and i casually mentioned that i had been trying to get my dd to sleep for a while. She told me that I shoudl try her BIL's trick - they put their baby's crib in the CLOSET and would just put the baby in the crib and close the door until the morning







: I didnt even know what to say so I just said, "well my dd is only 6 weeks old" and she said that her BIL did this from the day they brought their baby home!














: poor baby!









I'd be willing to risk the friendship by saying "I can't believe anyone would do that, your BIL must be evil" if I thought there was even a tiny chance that'd keep that friend from sharing any more stories like that.


----------



## angelamariebee

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Livviesmom0207* 
I have a friend pregnant with twins who has a pet pig. This pig weighs more than she does. The pig sleeps in bed with her and her boyfriend. They bought a platform bed so the pig can get up and down.

When the twins come, they go into their own room and the pig stays (at least that's what they say now, haha) because according to her boyfriend "the pig HAS to sleep with us, he will freak out".

For the record, they brought this pig to a party at my house once and someone wanted to take a picture and this man had a FIT because he didn't want the pig laying on the ground-he didn't want the pig to get dirty.

L. M. A. O!!!!!!

I think that's the best thing I've read in this thread so far. OMG.


----------



## angelamariebee

Quote:


Originally Posted by *micah_mae_* 
From my Grandmother:
"He can't sit up by himself? All my girls could sit up and stand up when they were 3 months old."

Riiiiight, lol.

While staying with my mom for awhile when DD was about 15 months old, she kept INSISTING on keeping this wobbly table up with an antique lamp sitting on top. I kept telling her, "DD will climb on that table, break it and the lamp and seriously injure herself. Can you please put it away for now?" (She didn't have the table up when we got there, she had JUST put it out.)

Her response: "Just tell her no." HA! I was like, "Yeah, because a one year old just automatically listens when you say 'no'." And she said, "My kids did."


----------



## Tari Mithrandir

Quote:

From my Grandmother:
"He can't sit up by himself? All my girls could sit up and stand up when they were 3 months old."

My stepson insists that he was walking by himself at 3 months old. "Because his mom told him so".


----------



## angelamariebee

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cherry Alive* 
We took our 5 week old to Target in a bucket (we put it in a convertible stroller). I wanted to bring her in the Baby Hawk, but wasn't confident with wearing it yet.

She started crying and really wanted out so I unbuckled her and carried her in my arms the rest of the way. Most people smiled when they saw her, but there was a guy in our checkout who kept staring and staring (with a shocked look on his face) as if seeing a baby in someone was the biggest oddity in the world.

I have since given up using the stroller. We've taken some really lovely walks in her Baby Hawk and are going to an art exhibit with it tomorrow. I don't care what other people think. I think it's horrible when people explicitly carry their babies in buckets all the time. Once in a while, I understand, but I almost never see babes in arms anymore... Because people always have them in carseats, it's like you almost never see babies in public. I miss it!

I know, ITA! And FTR, I did in fact carry her up to our apartment in my arms. <3

Gah, this thread is giving me baby fever, oddly enough. I have no desire to have another child, but right now I really want to cuddle a little baby.


----------



## smeisnotapirate

Quote:


Originally Posted by *angelamariebee* 
Gah, this thread is giving me baby fever, oddly enough. I have no desire to have another child, but right now I really want to cuddle a little baby.









Wanna come cuddle mine?


----------



## emamum

Quote:


Originally Posted by *angelamariebee* 
I know, ITA! And FTR, I did in fact carry her up to our apartment in my arms. <3

Gah, this thread is giving me baby fever, oddly enough. I have no desire to have another child, but right now I really want to cuddle a little baby.









come cuddle mine so i can do some chores


----------



## angelamariebee

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Agatha_Ann* 
I was on vacation with my extended family and we had a day that consisted of a three hour drive to the airport, delayed plane, four hour flight, lost luggage, another two hours in the car...not an ideal day for a two year old! We got to the town where we were staying and we had to stop at Target. Inside my at the time two year old daughter completely melted down and was screaming at the top of her lungs. I had seperated from my family and was trying to find them so I could take her outside to settle down and they would know where we were. We were walking around trying to find them with her just losing it and this older woman walked over, got right in DD's face and yelled "YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY PERSON IN THIS STORE!" I was in total shock! We finally found my aunt and told her we were heading outside and went and sat on a bench. DD was sitting on my lap, but still crying when the same woman came out the door, looked over, and once again, "STILL?! GET A GRIP CHILD!"









Ohhhh, nope. I would have hit that woman. Seriously, I would have LOST my mind.


----------



## angelamariebee

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 
Wanna come cuddle mine?










Quote:


Originally Posted by *emamum* 
come cuddle mine so i can do some chores









Don't tempt me! I'll drive out there right now... err, swim I guess, since I live in Hawaii. lol


----------



## Agatha_Ann

I met a woman recently at one of my kids activities. I was nursing DS3 and she was giving her two week old a bottle. She started to tell me that she couldn't breastfeed. Apparently she did with her first baby, but 6 weeks in, she woke up totally soaked in milk and she never made any more









Yesterday, I was in the grocery store and I had my baby in the sling. A lady stopped me and told me that she has a baby too, but its in the car







: I must have given her a strange look because then she said, "But my baby is a goat"







I guess she is going to make a sling for her goat now







It was funny.


----------



## crabbyowl

I got a real doozy this morning... from my HUSBAND. I was crabby because Eleanor has been gradually getting up earlier and earlier in spite of going to bed at the same time - I start getting her ready for bed at 8, and she's asleep by 8:30, or 8:45 at the very latest, but that's rare. She used to get up around 8:30 (not STTN), then 7:30, now she's down to 7:15.







: Plus, she usually wants to get up and nurse 3 times per night, so the most I sleep at a time is 3 hours or so.

His response?

Well, that's almost 12 hours! That's plenty of sleep for anyone, even if you are getting up during the night!















:























I was speechless! By the time I was able to speak again he had already left the room, which was a good thing because I was about ready to punch him!


----------



## ishyfishie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *crabbyowl* 
Well, that's almost 12 hours! That's plenty of sleep for anyone, even if you are getting up during the night!















:























I was speechless! By the time I was able to speak again he had already left the room, which was a good thing because I was about ready to punch him!
















My dh has learned better than to suggest that my "12 hours of sleep" (generally in anywhere from 30 to 90 minute increments!) is enough for any human to exist on.


----------



## AFWife

My new baby has a VERY strong sucking reflex. My in-laws have informed me that I'm a "mean mommy" because I refuse to give him a pacifier. FIL said the doctor told him to give his daughter a pacifier because "you can take a pacifier away but you can't take away a thumb."

I also got the typical "breastfeeding for 8 months is long enough" comment when I said I wanted to do it for AT LEAST a year.


----------



## Mommy2Austin

Quote:


Originally Posted by *crabbyowl* 
I got a real doozy this morning... from my HUSBAND. I was crabby because Eleanor has been gradually getting up earlier and earlier in spite of going to bed at the same time - I start getting her ready for bed at 8, and she's asleep by 8:30, or 8:45 at the very latest, but that's rare. She used to get up around 8:30 (not STTN), then 7:30, now she's down to 7:15.







: Plus, she usually wants to get up and nurse 3 times per night, so the most I sleep at a time is 3 hours or so.

His response?

Well, that's almost 12 hours! That's plenty of sleep for anyone, even if you are getting up during the night!















:























I was speechless! By the time I was able to speak again he had already left the room, which was a good thing because I was about ready to punch him!
















I'd be tempted to set an alarm clock to go off every 30-90 minutes randomly while he's sleeping and see how great his "12 hours" is!


----------



## bigeyes

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mommy2Austin* 
I'd be tempted to set an alarm clock to go off every 30-90 minutes randomly while he's sleeping and see how great his "12 hours" is!











(borrow extras so _you_ don't have to keep getting up to reset.)


----------



## smeisnotapirate

Mommy2Austin, I like that idea!


----------



## momasana

When DS was an infant my Mom told me it was best to let him cry for a little while because it teaches him that he can be okay even when Mommy isn't around.







:


----------



## loraxc

This is mainly just bizarre, but I thought of this thread...

DD is 14 months. We were at a birthday party for my older DD and he was walking around with a stick and babbling--"Ba ba ba da da da!" When he stood in front of one older lady and did this, her response was, "Oh, is he shooting me with his gun?"

WTF??? I admit I was so surprised I just laughed and said, "No, he doesn't know what a gun IS!"


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mommy2Austin* 
I'd be tempted to set an alarm clock to go off every 30-90 minutes randomly while he's sleeping and see how great his "12 hours" is!

Or just wake him up every time the baby wakes you up.


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *crabbyowl* 
I got a real doozy this morning... from my HUSBAND. I was crabby because Eleanor has been gradually getting up earlier and earlier in spite of going to bed at the same time - I start getting her ready for bed at 8, and she's asleep by 8:30, or 8:45 at the very latest, but that's rare. She used to get up around 8:30 (not STTN), then 7:30, now she's down to 7:15.







: Plus, she usually wants to get up and nurse 3 times per night, so the most I sleep at a time is 3 hours or so.

His response?

Well, that's almost 12 hours! That's plenty of sleep for anyone, even if you are getting up during the night!















:























I was speechless! By the time I was able to speak again he had already left the room, which was a good thing because I was about ready to punch him!

















There was one night that I was DEAD, like couldn't stop crying b/c I was SO TIRED - it was awful. My boyfriend had been saying the same thing, so I thawed enough milk for several bottles, got them ready and slept on the air mattress in the living room. He hasn't said a word about me sleeping enough since!


----------



## heidirk

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ishyfishie* 
My dh has learned better than to suggest that my "12 hours of sleep" (generally in anywhere from 30 to 90 minute increments!) is enough for any human to exist on.










yup, now that DH gets up with DS1 while I sleep with DS2, he doesn't have anything but sympathy for me!









(not that I'm getting any more sleep than he is, but that's a whole 'nother story.)


----------



## tjjazzy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
Don't get me wrong. I'm glad the nurses and LCs are there to help, if needed. I just wish they'd learn to butt out when people don't want or need the help. In my case, I've had some difficulties initially with two of my three babies, but _I_ do better when I'm left alone to figure things out for myself (this applies to almost everything in my life), and they just won't back off. This woman wasn't really doing a lot of "what issues are you having?" or "let's check your latch" kind of stuff, though - it was just really weird advice about supply, mastitis, etc.

OTOH, at least she didn't grab my breast and my baby without my consent, like the LC at the hospital when I had ds2!









she asked before touching me or my lo. i'm sorry your lc wasn't respectful.


----------



## angelamariebee

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tjjazzy* 







she asked before touching me or my lo. i'm sorry your lc wasn't respectful.

Mine asked as well. They should definitely ask!!


----------



## Tari Mithrandir

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tjjazzy* 







she asked before touching me or my lo. i'm sorry your lc wasn't respectful.

Mine helped me latch the first time, though they really didn't have to do much. (had the hospital LC plus my Doula who was also an LC). The next day they just popped into the room and asked if I was okay or needed help and then left me be


----------



## AFWife

My baby wasn't even 24 hours old and the night nurse told me that I HAD to wake him every 2 hours to eat. Then she told me that he wasn't nursing right because she could see that he wasn't latching correctly (not by looking at him nursing, but by looking at my breasts) She informed me that he had to put most of my areola in his mouth...my huge areola is supposed to fit in his tiny mouth? Yeah, I was SO glad when there was a shift change.


----------



## ishyfishie

Ugh, these last couple reminded me of another--at first I just added it to my list of "reasons to avoid the stupid hospital next time" but I think it qualifies! In fact, several of the statements issued in this situation probably qualify.

My dd was born at 38 weeks and was 9 lbs 13 oz, so even if I hadn't "had gestational diabetes," their policy was to check her blood sugar every 3 hours for the first 24 hours (I know better than to let ANY of this happen again). Anyway. We had a terrible experience the first night with a nurse insisting she had to have formula poured down her throat because she wouldn't wake up to nurse. Before we could even say that milk allergies run in the family (and now we know dd is severely allergic!), she did it and dd was sputtering and coughing. The nurse insisted that dd was "mucousy" and "gaggy" and that she should spend the night in the nursery instead of rooming in, and was shocked that dd had nursed just fine and no one had labeled her "gaggy" before that.







Fortunately, we vetoed that immediately with the support of the nurse coming on duty after her.

So, at two blood sugar checks following the formula, she (purportedly) vomited in the nursery--though she hadn't so much as spit up ONCE for us. In the morning, she was rooting at 2 hours instead of 3 (they wanted us to call them before nursing her--WTF, will never EVER do that again), so they took her early and she vomited. The nurse who brought her back insisted I was "overfeeding her" and "really needed to stick to the 3 hour schedule." Funny, I'd never heard a breastfed baby could be overfed on colostrum, since my milk didn't come in until day 5. Then at the next blood sugar check, after we forced ourselves to wait the 3 hours, they kept her FOR AN HOUR before bringing her back. I was FURIOUS. My labor and delivery were very close to just what I was hoping for, but the bleeping hospital stay afterward is what convinced us that a homebirth is a necessity next time.


----------



## AFWife

Inlaws on cosleeping: "Once you start him sleeping with you you'll never get him out!"

I'm sure when he's 15 he'll want his own bed...but I guess we'll see


----------



## Lea&Josh

WOW! I feel right at home! Why do MIl say "MY BABY" Although, maybe when we are grandparents we will understand! Or maybe we will not be hypocrits! I just need to add: I will wean when the baby and I want to! Why is it anyone business? ARE you really being inconvienced? And yes we all sleep together. I "WORE" my baby almost the first year. I had 3 miscarrages.... leave me alone if I want to hold him every second I can. And I understand that in "their day" they did things different but why cant they respect in MY DAY IM DOING IT MY WAY! I am the mom!
My mom has told me: {THIS IS GOOD STUFF....}
~ she is ashamed of the woman that I am
~ LLL is my "CULT"
~ I discust her for nursing in public and for as long as I have! (2y & 9 mo !)
~ I am fat therfore I am depressed and that is why I am fat
~ She is mad becasue I didnt want to go back to work (and teach other peoples kids) and I wanted to be a stay at home mom
~I wasted my education
~ the crib was used as a place to hold my laundry ; I did not know I was going to co-sleep but I wouldnt have done it any other way! WE SLEEP GREAT... as a FAMILY!
Well thats good for now. I reminded how sh*ty she makes me feel !
I know Im a good mom, even if she never tells me so!


----------



## jt'smum

My fave of the day - DD in hip hammock holding on to my shirt someone said "My she sure likes her momma" (in a very snide way). My response "Yes in fact I believe she loves me" WTH???


----------



## PaigeC

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 







For all the government's work in trying to convince people to vax, they certainly do a lousy job of educating people on how vaxes are supposed to work.

It sure did work though, huh? They think it cures everything! And it will get your kid into Harvard, didn't you hear?









That blowing in dd's face (lightly to make her smile) would make her stutter later in life.


----------



## Cherry Alive

My FIL went on and on one weekend... He kept preaching that my visiting cousin-in-law was "sick" for letting her 7 YO son co-sleep when he was too scared to stay in his guest room (it had a giant taxidermized deer head in it). Then FIL said with absolute authority that my CIL's son would end up with a "Freudian complex."







:

This was a man who 4 years before ranted that the little boy (a 3 YO toddler at the time) was a horrible child who was disrespectful of his toys, bc he broke a flimsy dollar-store train my GMIL gave him (the package it came in said "8 years and up"). When I mentioned I thought the child was just being a normal 3 YO, FIL snarled, "Not like any 3 YO *I've* ever seen."

Of course, it seems to be a big hobby of my ILs (FIL, MIL, & GMIL) to rag on DH's cousin's "weird" parenting style (they never say a peep about her dh--even though he is just as involved w/ the kids). Then they get angry that she now doesn't visit very often.

Needless to say, we've agreed to not to visit my ILs as much now that DD has been born.


----------



## amberskyfire

We recently visited family in another state and the baby and I stayed with various people while we were there. We had a rough flight and our sinuses were dried out and hurting from the plane, so when we spent a week with my in-laws and SIL's kids who were all very sick with a cold, of course the baby and I got it, too.

Every. Single. Person. in my family that we stayed with after that kept insisting that my baby had something that is vaccinated for because we don't vaccinate.

Mom: I think she has whooping cough because you don't vaccinate.

Me: No, Mom, she doesn't have whooping cough. It's just a cold.

Mom: No, I think it's whooping cough. Are you sure it's not whooping cough?

Me: No, Mom, it's not whooping cough. Her cousins all had it. It's just a mild cold. It's not even bad. She only coughs two or three times a day and they are just tiny coughs. Besides, with Pertussis, the cough doesn't come until the end of when you are sick.

Mom: I'm still worried it's whooping cough. I mean, you don't vaccinate, so she's bound to get something.

Grandma: Is it whooping cough?

Me: No, it's not whooping cough! She just has a cold.

Grandma: Well, you know you don't vaccinate, so she must have gotten something. If it's not whooping cough, then what is it?

Me: It's just a cold!

Grandma: I think it might be diphtheria...

Me: No, Grandma, it's nothing you vaccinate for. It's not the flu or tetanus or pertussis or diphtheria or hepatitis or even freaking HIV, OKAY?!

Grandpa: Is it whooping cough?

Me: IT'S JUST A FREAKING COLD WOULD YOU PEOPLE GET OVER YOURSELVES ALREADY?!

I was being driven freaking mental, seriously.


----------



## Lynn08

Ooh, ooh, I just thought of one!

When lovey was 1-2 mos:

GM: It's your own fault she's so clingy.
Me: What do you mean?
GM: Well, you were constantly rubbing your belly when you were pregnant. Now she expects to be touched all the time.
Me:?!?!?!?!?!

I think I just said something like "time to change her diaper" and left the room because I had no idea how to respond!


----------



## Shanelovr

my mil irritated the heck out of me one day when i told her that chances are my lo won't be spending the night at their house for a long time.(keep in mind, baby isn't even due til june 09. honestly with me breastfeeding and not "pumping" how would that work anyway?
point being, i said no, and she says "you're going to have to share that baby sometime you know?"
ummm, wrong. this is dh and my first baby and i'll spend all the time with it i want, and when i'm ready to let you, i will. the end.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HisBeautifulWife* 
Well you can tell me off because that would have been me. And yes, I am a hypocrite because I'd be mad if someone did that to my child.

Think about why you'd be mad if someone did that you your child. Because it wouldn't help anything, right?

So if you are ever tempted to be that person remind yourself that you aren't going to help matters and BITE YOUR TONGUE OFF if you have to.

Saying something like that in that situation is just the grown-up form of throwing a tantrum. Tantrums are okay in 3 year olds not in adults.


----------



## Tari Mithrandir

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lynn08* 
Ooh, ooh, I just thought of one!

When lovey was 1-2 mos:

GM: It's your own fault she's so clingy.
Me: What do you mean?
GM: Well, you were constantly rubbing your belly when you were pregnant. Now she expects to be touched all the time.
Me:?!?!?!?!?!

I think I just said something like "time to change her diaper" and left the room because I had no idea how to respond!

That's... a new one.


----------



## Harmony96

I've got one. If you had a choice between your child's safety and your own comfort, what would you choose?

The AAP recently modified its carseat recommendation and now recommends keeping children rear-facing up to at least age 2 (before, it just said the maximum of the seat and didn't specify an age). So I posted that to my Facebook, and the very first comment was something like "Safety isn't everything... my second child was less than a year when they started fussing and wanting to be turned around... I couldn't wait until I could do that and finally have some peace while driving."


----------



## jeminijad

I don't have a long history of parenting- DD is 11 weeks- but my mother really started things off on the right foot, stupid advice wise!!

She flew up for a visit (we're in PA, she is in TX) when my baby was 3 weeks old. We were all over for dinner at my aunt's house, and my mother was holding the baby on her lap, laying down, with the baby's head dangling off her knee. DD was squirming, little wonder. Well, mom looks at me and says "she wants to be in control of the situation. You need to get a handle on that right now."

My aunt and I just looked at each other.

An hour later, watching me rock DD to sleep: "She is very controlling."








:

On the plus side: The insight on her views cleared up so many questions about why I so deeply resent that woman...


----------



## Tari Mithrandir

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jeminijad* 
I don't have a long history of parenting- DD is 11 weeks- but my mother really started things off on the right foot, stupid advice wise!!

She flew up for a visit (we're in PA, she is in TX) when my baby was 3 weeks old. We were all over for dinner at my aunt's house, and my mother was holding the baby on her lap, laying down, with the baby's head dangling off her knee. DD was squirming, little wonder. Well, mom looks at me and says "she wants to be in control of the situation. You need to get a handle on that right now."

My aunt and I just looked at each other.









:


----------



## PatienceAndLove

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jeminijad* 
I don't have a long history of parenting- DD is 11 weeks- but my mother really started things off on the right foot, stupid advice wise!!

She flew up for a visit (we're in PA, she is in TX) when my baby was 3 weeks old. We were all over for dinner at my aunt's house, and my mother was holding the baby on her lap, laying down, with the baby's head dangling off her knee. DD was squirming, little wonder. Well, mom looks at me and says "she wants to be in control of the situation. You need to get a handle on that right now."

My aunt and I just looked at each other.

An hour later, watching me rock DD to sleep: "She is very controlling."








:

On the plus side: The insight on her views cleared up so many questions about why I so deeply resent that woman...

I... I have no words for that...


----------



## Mommy2Austin

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jeminijad* 
I don't have a long history of parenting- DD is 11 weeks- but my mother really started things off on the right foot, stupid advice wise!!

She flew up for a visit (we're in PA, she is in TX) when my baby was 3 weeks old. We were all over for dinner at my aunt's house, and my mother was holding the baby on her lap, laying down, with the baby's head dangling off her knee. DD was squirming, little wonder. Well, mom looks at me and says "she wants to be in control of the situation. You need to get a handle on that right now."

My aunt and I just looked at each other.

An hour later, watching me rock DD to sleep: "She is very controlling."








:

On the plus side: The insight on her views cleared up so many questions about why I so deeply resent that woman...

Yes you're daughter does sound like a master manipulator. She's even manipulating you while she sleeps.


----------



## frontierpsych

"You know, people died all the time before vaccines!"

... yeah, good thing we nipped THAT in the bud.


----------



## steelmagnolia9

My husband's grandfather came in town to see the family this past weekend while my husband was away on a business trip. I took our 2 month old daughter over to my in-law's to see GP, who proceeded to grill me about my parenting. He said so many things I could vent about here, but the best was this: After commenting on how well my dd was growing, he asks:

GP: "Is she still _only_ getting Mommy's milk?"
Me: "Yes. And I don't really have any plans of giving her anything else."
GP: "Well, I guess we better hope she does well on that then."
Me:









Seriously? Who does he think he is?


----------



## serenekitten

Mother-in-law insists that we _need_ to get a bassinet or Moses basket because a newborn will be far too small for a crib.

She has also reportedly said that her grandson *WILL* be circumcised.

And that if we do things differently, she's not going to agree with it.

Girlfriend and I are coming close to reminding her that, hi, _this is not her child to raise._

(Unfortunately, her son is a momma's boy and won't stand up to her for anything.







)


----------



## tjjazzy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Harmony96* 
I've got one. If you had a choice between your child's safety and your own comfort, what would you choose?

The AAP recently modified its carseat recommendation and now recommends keeping children rear-facing up to at least age 2 (before, it just said the maximum of the seat and didn't specify an age). So I posted that to my Facebook, and the very first comment was something like "Safety isn't everything... my second child was less than a year when they started fussing and wanting to be turned around... I couldn't wait until I could do that and finally have some peace while driving."

people hurrying to turn their car seats around is my PET PEEVE!! i'm with you!!


----------



## AllisonR

Quote:


Originally Posted by *frontierpsych* 
"You know, people died all the time before vaccines!"

... yeah, good thing we nipped THAT in the bud.











Oh my, funniest thing I've read all day. (And I agree - check out my tagline)


----------



## choosewisdom

Ok, probably not the dumbest or worst, but annoying:

I was holding my binky-loving (at the time 18month old) DD standing in line at the grocery store. This older gentleman walked up and snatched the binky from her mouth and said, "Aren't you too old to have this?"

I snatched it back and said, "Aren't you too old to be taking things out of other people's mouths?"

UGHHHH, still gets under my skin!

My BF days were cut short because of health issues and offering her a binky allowed her to get in the extra sucking that she craved because of the breast being taken prematurely. It was no one's dang business if I had let her keep it until she was 5. Ok, off my


----------



## nudhistbudhist

The librarian overheard me saying that I was pg again...She butts in and asks if I'm still breastfeeding (ds is 8 months, and always BF nakey butt in the library). When i said Yup! she says "Well, your going to have to stop that RIGHT now or there wont be any milk left for the baby!" (i'm 5 weeks pg







). So I told her I was planning on tandem nursing, and she was HORRIFIED!!! lol. She said it wouldnt work. I told her that if i could hve my kid out of diapers at 2 weeks, that I'm pretty sure I could do ANYTHING!!! She had nothing to say....


----------



## Mama2Jesse

OH. Car seats.







:
Them "Ugh, do I *have* to keep my ten month old RF, it's such a huge pain... whinewhinewhine..."
Me: "Not as much pain as burying him would be."
Seriously. If I can safely RF a recaro in a two door cavalier, you can manage. Promise.

Idiots.
Or oh oh oh! Dad told me to let my three day old CIO. Says he did it with me, while in the same breath "and you were such a GOOD baby..." Pfftblah.

Stupid stupid people.


----------



## shelley4

jeminijad;13715021On the plus side: The insight on her views cleared up so many questions about why I so deeply resent that woman...[/QUOTE said:


> i have similar issues with my mother too, and somewhere inside, on a very deep level, i still don't feel like i can completely trust her. i really wonder if it was the CIO and spanking that deeply ingrained that into my brain


----------



## ashleyhaugh

Quote:


Originally Posted by *choosewisdom* 
Ok, probably not the dumbest or worst, but annoying:

I was holding my binky-loving (at the time 18month old) DD standing in line at the grocery store. This older gentleman walked up and snatched the binky from her mouth and said, "Aren't you too old to have this?"

I snatched it back and said, "Aren't you too old to be taking things out of other people's mouths?"

UGHHHH, still gets under my skin!

My BF days were cut short because of health issues and offering her a binky allowed her to get in the extra sucking that she craved because of the breast being taken prematurely. It was no one's dang business if I had let her keep it until she was 5. Ok, off my









my ds is 19months and i HATE it when people do that.... hes learned though, he bites down, and they cant take it, lol. what business is it of theirs if he has one or not:??


----------



## mamalisa

I was in a pretty small store yesterday and my dd asked to go put the cart away. She was maybe 10 feet away from me when an older man said, "You know she's walking away???" in a panicked tone. I said, "yes, she's just putting the cart away." He says, "is that safe?" I replied, "kids don't really get snatched by strangers, she's fine" with a huge smile on my face. I finished my transaction, dd came skipping back to me and he tried 3 times to start a conversation with her. Ummm, seems to me the stranger trying to get my dd's attention is more dangerous than her parking the cart 10 feet away









I was nice and he was nice but the reality was, she was safer walking by herself than standing there talking to a strange old man she didn't know.


----------



## Ellen Griswold

Quote:


Originally Posted by *choosewisdom* 
I snatched it back and said, "Aren't you too old to be taking things out of other people's mouths?"

What a great response!


----------



## minkajane

Just got back from a 3-day visit to my family. That was fun, let me tell ya. There was nothing too outrageous, just a lot of little annoyances. My grandmother insisted that her out-of-control step-grandsons would be so much better behaved if their mother would "give them a good whoopin'." SIL refuses to BF her 3-wk-old around anybody but her husband, even with a blanket, so she's getting 3-4 bottles of formula every day (don't know why a SAHM is doing that much running around 3 weeks after a C-section anyway). SIL says she wants to get the baby off the formula, but she doesn't believe in nipple confusion, refuses to BF even around family, won't do breast compression to keep the baby nursing after she falls asleep, and is about to go on the pill. She's a nurse, you'd think she'd know better. I'm betting on full formula by 3 months. She's already insisting that she's not making enough milk. No wonder, with only partial feeding and letting the baby sleep at the breast without getting the hindmilk! The pill's just going to make it worse and I told her so, but she's going to get it anyway. She's also letting her fuss for 5-10 minutes every time she puts her to bed so she doesn't get used to being picked up for every peep because "I have things to do!"







:

I did find out something good while I was there, though. I have a friend who insisted before her baby was born that she would definitely not be breastfeeding longer than three months. Baby got to three months and she said she'd only breastfeed for six months. Baby is 14 months and still nursing.


----------



## choosewisdom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ashleyhaugh* 
my ds is 19months and i HATE it when people do that.... hes learned though, he bites down, and they cant take it, lol. what business is it of theirs if he has one or not:??

LOL, good for him!!


----------



## choosewisdom

Oh, and when I was in the hospital I had to refuse visitation from anyone because every time anyone from my family came they were trying to give my baby chocolate. I explained over and OVER that just because it was my mom's "tradition" did not make it right and that she was my child and most certainly was not going to be getting anything but breast milk! Ughh, it was probably three months before I could trust any of them to hold my daughter.


----------



## Mommy2Austin

Quote:


Originally Posted by *choosewisdom* 
Oh, and when I was in the hospital I had to refuse visitation from anyone because every time anyone from my family came they were trying to give my baby chocolate. I explained over and OVER that just because it was my mom's "tradition" did not make it right and that she was my child and most certainly was not going to be getting anything but breast milk! Ughh, it was probably three months before I could trust any of them to hold my daughter.

WOW! Talk about people asking for allergic reactions!


----------



## choosewisdom

I thought DP and I were totally together on most parenting issues, until I was reading him some of the posts on this thread. There was some incredulous post about a someone telling the mom to not feed the baby in Wal-Mart and I was shocked. He said, "Why would she?"

I said, "Because the baby is hungry."

Him, "But why in Wal-Mart?"

Me, "What are they supposed to do? Get in the car, put the baby in the car seat, drive all the way home, then feed the baby? All the while this poor infant thinks mommy is ignoring his needs..."

Him, "Well, I have heard all the time how there are couches in women's restrooms."

Me, "Do you eat your dinner in the restroom?"

Him, "No, but I didn't say you should feed the baby off of the toilet seat."

Anyway, I will quit quoting the whole story, but the short of it... Even after I showed him EXACTLY how I could BF in public without anyone seeing, he was still upset that I would, "pull out your breast in front of all those other men?!?!"

ARGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!


----------



## angelamariebee

choosewisdom, I'm sure he'll come around. I think NIP is one of those things some people have to see and experience to know why it's "okay", kwim? DH was like that on a LOT of things like breastfeeding (he was convinced that we would NEED to give bottles at some point-- never happened), was totally anti-cosleeping (I moved DD into her own bed recently and he misses her), etc etc. I could probably list a ton if I sat here and thought about it. But in the end he realizes it's for the best, once it's actually been put into effect.


----------



## hibiscus mum

I like reading all these stories, even though some are completely awful.







I have one and it still makes me stomach turn...

I made the mistake of complaining once in the lunchroom at work about how I was tired because my 2-year old daughter had suddenly started waking at around 3 in the morning for the past few nights, crying, and not settling well when we brought her into our bed.

One male coworker (who has a reputation as an annoying loudmouth) asked me, "Well, do you spank her?"

Me: Spank her for waking up in the middle of the night and crying? No! (look of shock on my face)

Annoying coworker: Well, you're just rewarding her by bringing her into your bed. You should try spanking.

Me: I will never spank my children.

Annoying coworker: I like that my children fear me. They do what I say when I say it and that's that.

Me:







: I have no words.

I don't discuss parenting issues at work anymore because that conversation upset me so much. Seriously, just recalling it makes me want to throw up.


----------



## choosewisdom

angelamariebee: Thank you so much for your response. I think I was just so in shock and so hurt to find out that he felt that way. He is such a supportive guy, that I honestly thought he must really be joking when he responded that way about NIP. I hope you are right and it is just an adjustment...


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *choosewisdom* 
angelamariebee: Thank you so much for your response. I think I was just so in shock and so hurt to find out that he felt that way. He is such a supportive guy, that I honestly thought he must really be joking when he responded that way about NIP. I hope you are right and it is just an adjustment...

I'm with angelamariebee - my BF was the same way about so many things! Before Lincoln was born he was like, well we don't have to hold him all the time, we can try CIO and see if it works, why should he sleep with us?, etc.

Well, he slept with us b/c I couldn't get out of bed to feed him after he was born - by the time I could BF had decided he likes having Lincoln in our bed and waking up next to him, can't STAND to hear him cry, and while we don't hold him all the time he loves holding him, always takes him from me first thing when he gets home to try and make him laugh. Loves rocking him to sleep, and is absolutely smitten with him in general.


----------



## Lynn08

We visited my gm yesterday and I have another one to share. Please bear (bare?) with me as this requires explanation as to why this was such a







moment.

1. I was telling gm what types of foods lovey was eating and mentioned that she loved sauerkraut. Gm looked confused and asked if it was still in "strands" when I gave it to her. When i replied yes, she was horrified and went on to lecture me about the importance of "chewing" the food for proper nutrient absorbtion (i should add that my gm is a certified hydro-therapist, so I get these types of lectures quite often). I replied that this we weren't really concerned about her getting enough nutrients as she is still bfed on demand and that it was more about introducing different flavors and textures. Which she understood and actually appreciated.
A little while later, I was changing lovey's diaper when gm again commented on the undigested food bits in the poop. Reiterated that it didn't matter. "Oh, that's right"







(also adding that gm is only 67 and not suffering from memory loss or mental impairment of any kind).

2. I also explained to her why we were introducing foods so slowly and staying away from known allergens (wheat, soy, etc) and that lovey only got fruits and veggies.

3. We were talking about my sister and her children when gm commented on their "horrid diet" and how they "eat too much sugar" (she once yelled at my sister for letting her kids eat _bananas_ because they were so high in sugar







, if that tells you anything).

SOOOO, she took us out to eat at our favorite (vegan














chinese buffet. While there, I was offering little bits of food to dd (only things that she has eaten before - peas, apples, yams, etc). And then my gm tried to give her a HUGE piece of general tso's seitan. After all the above, she didn't see what was wrong with giving my 9mo, mostly toothless dd a chunk of a battered and deep fried piece of wheat gluten smothered in a spicy, sugar laden sauce.







:

(Ok, so not really a comment on parenting, but still WTH?!?)


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lynn08* 
she took us out to eat at our favorite (vegan














chinese buffet...









: Lancaster county in Pennsylvania has a vegan Chinese buffet...

hmm, 9.5 hours might be a bit too far to drive.


----------



## Lynn08

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 







: Lancaster county in Pennsylvania has a vegan Chinese buffet...

hmm, 9.5 hours might be a bit too far to drive.









It's actually closer to Philly - so maybe only an 8.5-9 hr drive. totally worth it, imo


----------



## Engineering_Mama

A couple of weeks ago we went and visited my family for the first time since DD was born (Mom and Dad both flew out to visit when she was born). Mom, Dad and my sister all insisted I would stop BF-ing DD once she got teeth. Like I'm going to pay $$$$ to feed my daughter an inferior food...just because she might bite me. Whatever.







: DH wins the "Amazing Husband" award. When Dad was telling him I'd stop BF-ing once DD gets teeth he just looked at my father and told him "You know how stubborn your daughter is. If she says she'll keep BF-ing then she'll keep BF-ing."

FWIW DD popped her first tooth this week and yes, we're still BF-ing.


----------



## PatienceAndLove

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lynn08* 
It's actually closer to Philly - so maybe only an 8.5-9 hr drive. totally worth it, imo









in Malvern?


----------



## SashaBreeze

A little background first. Out of my mom's 4 children I am the only one she breastfed.

While pregnant with my second child I made a passing comment about breastfeeding...

Mom: What?! Why are you going to nurse this one?

Me: Huh? Why wouldn't I?

Mom: Honey, you only have to breastfeed one child to get the anti cancer benefits, you don't have to breastfeed the other ones.

Me: Gee mom, I'm so glad I was able to provide that service for you.









I love my mom, but that comment went to the crazy list in my mind.


----------



## Tari Mithrandir

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SashaBreeze* 
A little background first. Out of my mom's 4 children I am the only one she breastfed.

While pregnant with my second child I made a passing comment about breastfeeding...

Mom: What?! Why are you going to nurse this one?

Me: Huh? Why wouldn't I?

Mom: Honey, you only have to breastfeed one child to get the anti cancer benefits, you don't have to breastfeed the other ones.

Me: Gee mom, I'm so glad I was able to provide that service for you.









I love my mom, but that comment went to the crazy list in my mind.

Talk about making you feel special







Let alone the fact that she is wrong







The more children you BF, and the longer the duration, the more 'anti-cancer benefits' you get. Short term nursing of only one infant doesn't give you very much protection at all


----------



## smeisnotapirate

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lynn08* 
It's actually closer to Philly - so maybe only an 8.5-9 hr drive. totally worth it, imo



















WHERE????

sapphire_chan, my bro is graduating from Butler this weekend, so I'll be in your neck of the woods.


----------



## PatienceAndLove

So, DD and I just moved to a larger city, and there is a park near by. It being May in Texas and all, we go to the park in the late afternoon so it's not so hot. Well, so does everyone else.

When i was younger, my dad instituted (and taught me) a rather loud whistle that he would use when we were in large outdoor areas, esp. if there was lots of people. One whistle was "round yourselves up, ,we're leaving soon" and two was "emergency, get over here NOW". I have since taught that to DD.

Well, it was time to get home, and I didn't see her among the throng of other small children, so I whistled for her. She ran over about a minute later, "time to go, Mama?" "Yep! And that you for listening and coming so quickly!" A lady near by me goes "I can't believe you trained your child to come when you whistle! She's not a dog!!!" "Well ma'am, I am sorry you disagree with me, but it works for us." She huffs and then walks off screaming for her children.

I still think my whistle is more efficient.


----------



## angelamariebee

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PatienceAndLove* 

I still think my whistle is more efficient.

I wish I could whistle like that!!


----------



## teale

Oh gosh, where to start. We battled with my IL's over co-sleeping and feeding solids before 6 months.

We're all sitting down to eat dinner, DS is on my lap, he just finished nursing, and was quite content. He was about 4 months old, so he was reaching, and grabbing for some things.

Me: Hun, can you pass the peas?
MIL: Are you FINALLY going to give him a taste?
Me: A taste of what?
MIL: Food! He's sooo hungry! LOOK! He's eating the table!
Me: Yeah, no, he's not hungry. Babies generally put things in their mouth.
DH: No, no food. He just ate.
FIL: Awww, he's grabbing the plate! HE'S SO HUNGRY!
Me: NO. He is NOT hungry.
MIL: Here, let me give him a taste! (She reaches toward him, and I turn so DS is facing DH)
DH: He's a BABY. He EATS BREASTMILK. He's not hungry. If there was a bloody knife on the table, he'd try to put that in his mouth too. Now, pass the rice!

I feel like when I'm with my inlaws, I'm repeating myself constantly. They don't listen to either DH or myself, and they are always in DS's face. We tell them to let him warm up when we get there, but no, they have to grab him get thisclose to his face, and wonder why he meltsdown within 2 hours.

At our last visit, FIL goes:

"It must be so much easier giving him solids now!"

Me: Uh. Nope. I don't know what's easier about preparing a snack, versus me whipping my boob out for a quick drink, or snack. Definitely not easier.


----------



## Lynn08

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PatienceAndLove* 
in Malvern?


Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 









WHERE????

yeah







rts 30 & 401 to be exact
(I guess I should just be glad she offered to take us there instead of preparing a meal for us. Usually if we go over for dinner we bring our own food because otherwise she only has salad for us.







)

Ugh, and don't get me started on the relatives who cannot fathom raising a vegan child. I don't comment on the over-processed, chemical & preservative laden, hfcs sweetened, hydrogenated oiled, artificially flavored & colored, nutritionally void _CRAP_ they "feed" their children; why do they feel the need to comment on the organic, plant-based, whole foods mostly from scratch that I prepare for my family?







:


----------



## Harmony96

Quote:


Originally Posted by *angelamariebee* 
I wish I could whistle like that!!

I wish I could whistle, period. I think I'm genetically unable to do so. I can't snap my fingers, either. lol. But I don't yell, either, b/c DD is used to me speaking to her in a normal voice, and she hears that even if there's a ton of other background noise around.


----------



## angelamariebee

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lynn08* 
Ugh, and don't get me started on the relatives who cannot fathom raising a vegan child. I don't comment on the over-processed, chemical & preservative laden, hfcs sweetened, hydrogenated oiled, artificially flavored & colored, nutritionally void _CRAP_ they "feed" their children; why do they feel the need to comment on the organic, plant-based, whole foods mostly from scratch that I prepare for my family?







:

OMG, I know! People are always checking up on me, making sure she's getting enough protein. Grrr!


----------



## jt'smum

Not that uncommon but really really hacks me off.

"Is she sleeping through the night?"

"No"

"Does she sleep in her crib?"

"Its 50/50"

"Ya know she should be sleeping in her own bed and be sleeping through the night"

"Do you sleep through the night?"

"No, but I am _________"

"Well there ya go you don't sleep through the night and you sleep with________"

"Its not the same."

"Oh okay"

I HATE when people insist she should sleep through the night. Older DD still wakes and joins me 3 nights of the week.


----------



## EnviroBecca

Choosewisdom wrote:

Quote:

There was some incredulous post about a someone telling the mom to not feed the baby in Wal-Mart and I was shocked. He said, "Why would she?"
...
Him, "Well, I have heard all the time how there are couches in women's restrooms."








I never go to Wal-Mart; do they have couches in the restrooms? In my vast experience of women's restrooms, there are couches in maybe 2% of them, and none of those are in discount stores.


----------



## amberskyfire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *EnviroBecca* 
Choosewisdom wrote:







I never go to Wal-Mart; do they have couches in the restrooms? In my vast experience of women's restrooms, there are couches in maybe 2% of them, and none of those are in discount stores.

Haha! Nope! No couches in the Wal-Mart restroom, unless you count that huge pile of toilet paper shoved against the wall in the corner.

The only two times in my entire life that I have ever seen couches in a women's restroom were once at a wedding and once in a Macy's.


----------



## emmalizz

.


----------



## frontierpsych

Quote:


Originally Posted by *EnviroBecca* 
Choosewisdom wrote:







I never go to Wal-Mart; do they have couches in the restrooms? In my vast experience of women's restrooms, there are couches in maybe 2% of them, and none of those are in discount stores.

Yeah, the only time I've seen anywhere to sit in a restroom that wasn't a toilet or smelly wooden bench covered in chewing gum next to a trash can is in nice hotels, and the WIC office at Schofield Barracks. They actually have a nice lounge area with a big cushy couch, I wouldn't mind nursing there at all! I've never seen any seating but toilets in a Wal Mart bathroom. Filthy toilets at that! No way I'd nurse a baby in there.


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

So my uncle came to visit with me today - for about 20 minutes to see Lincoln.

Background: When I was a kid he and his wife wanted to babysit us for a weekend so my parents could get away, but they refused to use the carseats in their cars.

TODAY: I meet him at a busy spot, so he just jumps in the car. He turns around and says, "I can't even see your baby b/c he's rear facing! I never rear faced my kids unless I was sitting in the back with them b/c I felt bad and I worried about them, when are you going to turn him around?"

Ummm...he's 4 MONTHS OLD - He's not getting turned around for a LONG LONG TIME!!!!

I said, "oh, thats why we have the mirror on the headrest back there - so we can check on him."


----------



## AllisonR

Quote:


Originally Posted by *EnviroBecca* 
Choosewisdom wrote:







I never go to Wal-Mart; do they have couches in the restrooms? In my vast experience of women's restrooms, there are couches in maybe 2% of them, and none of those are in discount stores.

OK, this is slightly OT, but we actually have breast feeding lounges here - like a cosy, separate room with sofas, bean bag chairs.... in the larger malls. If someone asked anyone to bf their child on the toilet, everyone would think the jerk that asked was crazy. Life is not entirely perfect though. I have been harassed once, by a teenage employee in H&M, while I was bf my DD - in the changing room literally between the maternity and baby clothes sections. I was so shocked I emailed the store, and they apologized profusely.

Back on topic. The worst comment I have ever gotten was when I told my dad my 2nd child would be born at home. His nice reply? "That is the most selfish thing I have ever heard in my life! I just buried my son, and now you are going to die or your baby will die, and then I'll have to bury you too." I've never gotten over the shock really, hence my tagline.


----------



## Melly24

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AllisonR* 
OK, this is slightly OT, but we actually have breast feeding lounges here - like a cosy, separate room with sofas, bean bag chairs.... in the larger malls. If someone asked anyone to bf their child on the toilet, everyone would think the jerk that asked was crazy. Life is not entirely perfect though. I have been harassed once, by a teenage employee in H&M, while I was bf my DD - in the changing room literally between the maternity and baby clothes sections. I was so shocked I emailed the store, and they apologized profusely.

Same here in New Zealand. And some even have a playground in the lounge to entertain the older kids while you tend to your baby.

I went out shopping with my mum. She told me I should front face the car seat so she can see where we're going and then she wont be unhappy in the car. And if she does get unhappy on the way home and start crying, we'll just turn the radio up so we cant hear her. And I cant carry her forever so she'll buy me a stroller at the mall. Sheesh. It was a loooooooooooong day!


----------



## TopHat

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Melly24* 
And I cant carry her forever so she'll buy me a stroller at the mall.

You know, your mom's right: you can't carry her forever, but that's why by the time she's all grown up and goes to college, she'll be able to walk on her own.


----------



## Melly24

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TopHat* 
You know, your mom's right: you can't carry her forever, but that's why by the time she's all grown up and goes to college, she'll be able to walk on her own.









Maybe she wont be walking on her own even by then because I carry her all the time!







Said by mum "Maybe thats why shes not walking yet..because she gets carried so often." She was 13 months old at the time.

She also asked about what happens when we have another baby? I told her I'd have one on the front and one on the back. Just to see the look on her face! I'll probably use a stroller by then, but TBH I'm not against wearing two at a time. Will make sure to send Mumsy a photo of that!


----------



## angelamariebee

Quote:

My aunt told me the other night that stuff like Hi-C and Capri Sun are actually BETTER for kids than real fruit juice because they are vitamin fortified.

Corn syrup and water with artificial colors and flavors is BETTER than real fruit juice!?!?!
I took this from the original thread, I'm reading it for the first time. It reminded me of my cousin, who's DS ONLY drank chocolate milk EVER, that because she used Nesquik it was "just like putting vitamins in his milk". DD was only a few months old at the time but I was like, Whaa??


----------



## ashleyhaugh

my dad whistled for us too.... we could hear it blocks away.... didnt mind it as a kid, but i HATED it as a teenager







:


----------



## flower01

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
SIL refuses to BF her 3-wk-old around anybody but her husband, even with a blanket, so she's getting 3-4 bottles of formula every day (don't know why a SAHM is doing that much running around 3 weeks after a C-section anyway). SIL says she wants to get the baby off the formula, but she doesn't believe in nipple confusion, refuses to BF even around family, won't do breast compression to keep the baby nursing after she falls asleep, and is about to go on the pill. She's a nurse, you'd think she'd know better.







:


My DD had to be in the hospital 1 week after she was born because she was early and lost too much weight. The worst part about it - the nurses REFUSED to get me a breast pump and then when I explained that I wanted to EBF and didn't want anything to interfere with our chances - she said "There is no such thing as nipple confusion." And proceede to shove a bottle of formula in my baby's mouth - without asking.

Grrr....


----------



## PatienceAndLove

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ashleyhaugh* 
my dad whistled for us too.... we could hear it blocks away.... didnt mind it as a kid, but i HATED it as a teenager







:

you, too? LoL.
Dad pretty much stopped it when my little sis was around 10. We both had watches by that point. He still uses the whistle, sometimes, when he needs our attention.
LoL, stupid ingrained reaction!


----------



## yasinsmama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Harmony96* 
I've got one. If you had a choice between your child's safety and your own comfort, what would you choose?

The AAP recently modified its carseat recommendation and now recommends keeping children rear-facing up to at least age 2 (before, it just said the maximum of the seat and didn't specify an age). So I posted that to my Facebook, and the very first comment was something like "Safety isn't everything... my second child was less than a year when they started fussing and wanting to be turned around... I couldn't wait until I could do that and finally have some peace while driving."

















:


----------



## yasinsmama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *angelamariebee* 
choosewisdom, I'm sure he'll come around. I think NIP is one of those things some people have to see and experience to know why it's "okay", kwim? DH was like that on a LOT of things like breastfeeding (he was convinced that we would NEED to give bottles at some point-- never happened), was totally anti-cosleeping (I moved DD into her own bed recently and he misses her), etc etc. I could probably list a ton if I sat here and thought about it. But in the end he realizes it's for the best, once it's actually been put into effect.

He *will* come around. I am Muslim, and I cover my hair, so I really can't be exposing myself in public. Well, I have learned how to dress so that nothing is showing, and DH has rearranged plenty a furniture for me to sit somewhere out of everyones view, but not isolated, or in the restroom. He has also sat next to me, or in front of me, just in case something was showing. He wants his boy to be fed when he's hungry!


----------



## Mommy2Austin

Quote:


Originally Posted by *yasinsmama* 
He *will* come around. I am Muslim, and I cover my hair, so I really can't be exposing myself in public. Well, I have learned how to dress so that nothing is showing, and DH has rearranged plenty a furniture for me to sit somewhere out of everyones view, but not isolated, or in the restroom. He has also sat next to me, or in front of me, just in case something was showing. He wants his boy to be fed when he's hungry!









Now that is truely awesome!!


----------



## Talula Fairie

My MIL, bless her heart, is rather old fashioned in quite a few ways.

Some gems:

(talking about my newborn baby) "Let her cry. It's good for her lungs."

(said recently, my kids are 3 and 4.5) "Seeing you give birth will scar your children."

(talking about my totally healthy, exclusively breastfed 6 month old) "You need to give her iron supplements. She looks pale and might be anemic. There isn't enough iron in breastmilk."

and one from my father:

"the problem with most kids today is that their parents won't give them a swat on the butt."


----------



## Melly24

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mommy2Austin* 
Now that is truely awesome!!

Agreed!


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

I went to dinner with a friend last night and took Lincoln with me. She said, "I'm so glad you have Lincoln! You're such a good mom, and he's such a stress relief!"

I told her that he's a stress relief for her only b/c he's mine and not hers!


----------



## minkajane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thyra* 
I went to dinner with a friend last night and took Lincoln with me. She said, "I'm so glad you have Lincoln! You're such a good mom, and he's such a stress relief!"

I told her that he's a stress relief for her only b/c he's mine and not hers!

Hey, it's better than "Aw man, couldn't you have left the kid at home? Kids are so annoying!" At least your friend thinks you are a great mom!


----------



## kriket

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Talula Fairie* 

(said recently, my kids are 3 and 4.5) "Seeing you give birth will scar your children."

My younger sister (shes 22) watched me give birth, I don't think shes scarred, but it is an excellent form of birth control!


----------



## Lynn08

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Talula Fairie* 
(said recently, my kids are 3 and 4.5) "Seeing you give birth will scar your children."

The only thing that "scarred" me about watching my mother give birth was seeing the right hook she gave my father.







:

(Short version : My sister's due date was the first day of trout season, so of course my father made plans to go fishing because babies aren't actually born on their due dates. When my mother went into labor early that morning, my father whined and complained because he couldn't go. My mother finally got tired of it and punched him in the face. Yeah, they divorced shortly after that







)


----------



## nolonger

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Talula Fairie* 
(said recently, my kids are 3 and 4.5) "Seeing you give birth will scar your children."


I don't think dd is scarred, although I'm the first one to admit that she's a little weird.














:









She was there for both of her brothers births. The first time, she was a couple of months shy of three and the only person in the room who I DIDN'T want to punch in the face. The second time, she was a couple of months shy of nineteen and the only person in the room.


----------



## ashleyhaugh

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PatienceAndLove* 
you, too? LoL.
Dad pretty much stopped it when my little sis was around 10. We both had watches by that point. He still uses the whistle, sometimes, when he needs our attention.
LoL, stupid ingrained reaction!


yeah its that pinch your bottom lip whistle that i was never able to master. i still turn around when i hear it, and i can tell his from others.... so annoying, but it was definity effective


----------



## hippiemommaof4

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NewMama2007* 
This bothers me soooo much! Every trait is something that can be explained away by something on DH's side. I have bright blue eyes, so does DD, but she got them from DH's second cousin. My biological father has red hair, but she gets it from some distant uncle.







:







:







:

I feel like I was just the oven for this child that belongs to DH's side 100 percent!

oh my gosh same here, thats my MIL too! makes me livid!


----------



## ernalala

Quote:


Originally Posted by *yasinsmama* 
He *will* come around. I am Muslim, and I cover my hair, so I really can't be exposing myself in public. Well, I have learned how to dress so that nothing is showing, and DH has rearranged plenty a furniture for me to sit somewhere out of everyones view, but not isolated, or in the restroom. He has also sat next to me, or in front of me, just in case something was showing. He wants his boy to be fed when he's hungry!









I know what you mean . I live in a muslim (secular) country and I've seen plenty of women bf in public (scarved and non-scarved), and even though I (as a non-muslim) was initially uncomfortable NIP myself, got the hang of it really soon and It's amazing how easy it is to bf a baby without showing at all . I think just 'popping it out' would be so not done here and I would never be comfortable with that myself either, tbh (not in my western European home country either where I think there is general more opposition/uncomfiness against women NIP than here!). Nursing an active older baby, and toddler, I find more challenging and when I would NIP them I would try and do my best to find a spot out of sight of the public, and nowadays they have nursing/changing rooms in some newly opened shopping malls, too. Dh (local) has been most supportive, he would even URGE me to feed my dss asap, wherever we were: in the middle of a shoe store (no cabins , on a terrace in the middle of the street, waiting for the metro (well I never bf ON the metro I must admit), etc. - lol.

I do see many women though who choose not to NIP here and prefer a bottle when being out, others finding a 'hiding place' to nurse. My scarved and very religious SIL would just sit on a bench with me where people walked by while we were both nursing our babies . Noone would give you weird looks for that, and people often hardly notice you're nursing anyway







.

Once I was in the hospital for a ped check-up, and I was bf my little one in the waiting area (it's just full of young moms, dads and baby's there), and an employee actually came up to tell me 'that they have a nursing room where I could bf my baby'. I just said. 'I know' to reassure her we were comfortable







. I didn't feel the need to go and nurse in that (tiny) room that day (as I had done on several other occasions), and anyway, it could host only 2-3 nursing moms maximum and it was full/crowded at the time







). I think that she said this in case I would be more comfortable nursing there, or maybe she did think it strange that a mother would nurse in the waiting room when they made a room for bf moms exclusively . And tbh I couldn't think of myself and baby waiting in line at the nursing room until the other babies were done either, that would be just ridiculous!


----------



## Talula Fairie

Yeah, I think the whole "it will scar them" is really silly. If they get uncomfortable I will have someone there who can leave and take them somewhere for awhile. But these are the kids that have seen multiple birth videos in amazement (even when the mama is making noise) and all they say is "Oooh! a baby coming out! so keyyyyyute!!"

I told my MIL I thought it would be a really positive experience for them.


----------



## butterfly_mommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Talula Fairie* 
Yeah, I think the whole "it will scar them" is really silly. If they get uncomfortable I will have someone there who can leave and take them somewhere for awhile. But these are the kids that have seen multiple birth videos in amazement (even when the mama is making noise) and all they say is "Oooh! a baby coming out! so keyyyyyute!!"

I told my MIL I thought it would be a really positive experience for them.

I think not witnessing natural child birth is what is scarring.


----------



## Bug-a-Boo's Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *FREEmom1120* 
I HATE when people say a baby looks like anyone other than the mother or father though.

The first person my MIL said that DS looked like was my brother. Now I love my brother, but that is not the first thing I want to hear. And it isn't the truth either. DH said she said that because DB is a boy. Whatever.







: She was just pi$$ed because he didn't look a bit Puerto Rican.


----------



## amberskyfire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *butterfly_mommy* 
I think not witnessing natural child birth is what is scarring.

This. This. This.


----------



## Honey693

DD is either sick, teething, or has a bad cold. She's been incredibly fussy and clingy b/c she's sick. She just wants me or sometimes DH. Not gramma, not grandpa, not her uncle. We had everyone over for Mother's Day today and I warned everyone she was sick so we weren't playing pass the baby (which I normally have no problem with). My grandma said "If I was watching her I'd just lock her in her room and let her cry." Ummmm, Hello!!! She's sick, let's lock you in your room next time you feel like crap. Then at dinner I got up to get DD b/c she was fussing and wanted to be held and again and my brotehr told me the same grandma said "Well she's crying b/c that's how they're raising her." Yeah to teach her we'll meet her needs. Really awful grandma.


----------



## GoBecGo

My health visitor came to visit me when i moved house into her area (to assess us both for our needs, which means check us out and give us unsolicited advice). At one point she said to me that i should put DD in nursery because "she's nearly 3!". I told her DD can't go to school until 5.5 (due to when her birthday falls) and thus don't plan to send her to nursery until she's 4.5. She said to me "well, you can't provide a learning environment in the home - there's s much she needs to know BEFORE school" - meantime DD is RIGHT IN FRONT of her counting "fifty-five, fifty-six, fifty-seven...."

Crazy.


----------



## Talula Fairie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *butterfly_mommy* 
I think not witnessing natural child birth is what is scarring.

Totally!


----------



## yasinsmama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Bug-a-Boo's Mama* 
The first person my MIL said that DS looked like was my brother. Now I love my brother, but that is not the first thing I want to hear. And it isn't the truth either. DH said she said that because DB is a boy. Whatever.







: She was just pi$$ed because he didn't look a bit Puerto Rican.










I hate this comment too!!!







:
When ds was born, the FIRST thing MIL says (and continues to say) is "oh, he looks like XX". She was saying he looked like my 8 year old SIL, her daughter. Umm, no, he didn't. Even if he did, or even if he looked like me or DH, that's not the first thing I want to hear. I want to hear how beautiful and perfect he is, not who he looks like.


----------



## angelamariebee

Quote:

One night DS got out of his crib in the middle of the night, wandered to the kitchen and got a sharp knife. I woke up from the noise he was making and found him. I told my MIL and she said I needed to put a canopy over him so he can't get out! Apparently FIL had to get a canopy put over his crib so he couldn't get out b/c he would get up in the middle of the night and touch the wood burning furnace which in those days was the stove.
This is from the original thread again (I hope that's okay to do) and it reminded me of one of MIL's stories. They had to put a "lid" on SIL's crib as a baby so she wouldn't get out. If that's not bad enough, they didn't use a canopy or anything MADE for cribs, they just used an extra crib rail tied on the top with socks! Had we used a crib with DD and her escaping ever became a problem, they undoubtedly would have suggested this as a fantastic idea.

The first time she told me this, I had to hold my breath or my jaw would have dropped off my face!


----------



## angelamariebee

Okay, I thought of one thats mildly annoying.

We live in Hawaii and go to the beach quite a bit. If we're at a pretty empty beach, I'll let DD play naked and have a few pictures up online (you can't see anything but can tell she is nude). People are always saying, "Poor baby, I bet she gets sand all in her crotch!"

Umm... ironically, its the other way around. Her bathing suit always traps sand in her crotch. When she plays naked, she's almost sand-free by the time we leave. I hate that people assume I'd let her play naked if it meant she'd have a vagina full of sand afterward.


----------



## PretzelMama

I'm new here, I hope it's ok that I jump right in!









Quote:


Originally Posted by *yasinsmama* 
I hate this comment too!!!







:
When ds was born, the FIRST thing MIL says (and continues to say) is "oh, he looks like XX". She was saying he looked like my 8 year old SIL, her daughter. Umm, no, he didn't. Even if he did, or even if he looked like me or DH, that's not the first thing I want to hear. I want to hear how beautiful and perfect he is, not who he looks like.

When my DD was born, my MIL went on & on about how much she looked like _her_.







: Never any mention that DD looked like DH or me.









When DD was 2 days old, MIL kept picking her up and holding her close to her face and saying "Go on, I know you want to grab my glasses!" (acting surprised and confused): "Why doesn't she grab my glasses?? I thought all babies did that! My boys always did that when they were babies!". Me: "Umm...she can't even hold her own head up yet. I think it'll be a little while before she's able to grab your glasses."









Along the same lines, she was very concerned when DD wasn't crawling by 3 months old.









I know she means well. She thinks she remembers things accurately from when her boys were babies, but she just doesn't!


----------



## yasinsmama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PretzelMama* 
I'm new here, I hope it's ok that I jump right in!









When my DD was born, my MIL went on & on about how much she looked like _her_.







: Never any mention that DD looked like DH or me.









When DD was 2 days old, MIL kept picking her up and holding her close to her face and saying "Go on, I know you want to grab my glasses!" (acting surprised and confused): "Why doesn't she grab my glasses?? I thought all babies did that! My boys always did that when they were babies!". Me: "Umm...she can't even hold her own head up yet. I think it'll be a little while before she's able to grab your glasses."









Along the same lines, she was very concerned when DD wasn't crawling by 3 months old.









I know she means well. She thinks she remembers things accurately from when her boys were babies, but she just doesn't!

DH apparently was walking at 10 months old, so when ds was JUST starting to crawl at 9 months, my MIL freaked out.
Now, he's 12 months old and he stands and takes steps while holding on to somethine. Everytime they see him, they ask has he walked by himself yet. When I say no, they say "don't worry, he'll be walking by next week". Ummm. I'm not worried. I'm actually not in a hurry for him to walk, because they I will never be able to sit down!


----------



## ramlita

PretzelMama,


----------



## willthiswork

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
Haha! Nope! No couches in the Wal-Mart restroom, unless you count that huge pile of toilet paper shoved against the wall in the corner.

The only two times in my entire life that I have ever seen couches in a women's restroom were once at a wedding and once in a Macy's.

I was at a hotel in Cork (Inchydoney Island Spa) and in the resident's lounge bathroom there was an arm chair and a table with a bottle of mineral water. Obviously for any bfing mothers who weren't comfortable nip. I thought that was pretty great!


----------



## Tari Mithrandir

Was checking out at the pharmacy yesterday and the clerk (who we end up talking to everytime we go in, she's worked there for years) is trying to get DD to smile, and it isn't going anywhere, DD is just casually ignoring her and looking around. So she says "Boy! You look just like your daddy. Grumpy."







: (and proceeded to come up with some reasons why she must not be happy)...
It probably sounds like a haha funny type situation... but it really irritated me. When she was tiny and wouldn't smile it was "She's awfully serious." and now she's apparently grumpy for xyz reason. Maybe she just doesn't find you amusing?







(and fwiw, DH wasn't grumpy either







)


----------



## dougandsarah

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
Haha! Nope! No couches in the Wal-Mart restroom, unless you count that huge pile of toilet paper shoved against the wall in the corner.

The only two times in my entire life that I have ever seen couches in a women's restroom were once at a wedding and once in a Macy's.

Nordstrom has a AWESOME mothers lounge (changing station and two couches) in the women's restroom which is HUGE and most i've been in has two seperate lounges with couches.


----------



## minkajane

What was that website that listed the facilities different retail locations had available for breastfeeding?


----------



## yasinsmama

I was driving today, and my sister was in the backseat with DS. She asked me when I was going to start putting him next to me. I patted the front seat and said "you mean, here?". She said yes. I said "oh, not for a really, really long time". She said "you won't get to sit in front until you're an old man".









When I was discussing celebrating birthdays with my mom (I was telling her we decided not to have birthday parties for ds, and not make a big deal about birthdays), she says "you are treating him like an orphan".


----------



## smeisnotapirate

Quote:


Originally Posted by *yasinsmama* 
When I was discussing celebrating birthdays with my mom (I was telling her we decided not to have birthday parties for ds, and not make a big deal about birthdays), she says "you are treating him like an orphan".



















I've been getting complaints about our joint housewarming/first birthday party. "It's not fair to him to share it!" "But it's his FIRST" "What are you going to do about the pictures??"







:

The same people will be coming to both parties - so what's the point in having two a week apart? Besides, he's turning ONE. HE certainly won't care.


----------



## chirp

we just had a combo party...housewarming and baby's first...no one who showed up cared at all that it was combined.

the people who didn't show up had some things to say...but what do i care? they didn't plan on coming anyway.


----------



## linz2491

When ds2 was 2 months old my childless sil said, he's getting so big, he is going to be needing formula soon.









hmmm... I wonder what she thought he was growing on until then?


----------



## amberskyfire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *linz2491* 
When ds2 was 2 months old my childless sil said, he's getting so big, he is going to be needing formula soon.









hmmm... I wonder what she thought he was growing on until then?


Yeah, I had a baby development book that, in one chapter said "if you've been breastfeeding until now, it's probably time to switch your baby over to bottles of formula."

Huh?


----------



## minkajane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
Yeah, I had a baby development book that, in one chapter said "if you've been breastfeeding until now, it's probably time to switch your baby over to bottles of formula."

Huh?









When month did it say you should do this?


----------



## amberskyfire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
When month did it say you should do this?

I don't even remember anymore. I'd go look it up, but I got rid of the awful thing. If anyone wants to look at it, it was in "Your Baby's First Year Week by Week."


----------



## ramlita

What IS that?

The message is,
You're doing so well, it's almost time you started doing something different!


----------



## Tari Mithrandir

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
Yeah, I had a baby development book that, in one chapter said "if you've been breastfeeding until now, it's probably time to switch your baby over to bottles of formula."

Huh?









That is nuts! Definitely proves that so-called authors are getting less and less informed on their subject matter.
I swear people wake up and say "I'm going to write a book today!" and proceed to spin a roulette wheel to pick a subject


----------



## RoseDuperre

It's the same author that puts out the fearmongering "Your Pregnancy Week by Week"! Sheesh.


----------



## Talula Fairie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RoseDuperre* 
It's the same author that puts out the fearmongering "Your Pregnancy Week by Week"! Sheesh.

Man I hated that book.


----------



## AFWife

I went out to dinner with my ILs last night (Chilis so it wasn't fancy or anything) and took DS with us. I had given him a bit of milk in the car on the way in a bottle (I pumped some earlier) but he got hungry again when we were there. I was wearing my nursing bra and a v-neck tank top.

Now, my ILs aren't as comfortable with NIP as my parents...or as I am. So, I'm fussing with a blanket trying to discreetly pull my top down. I'm still a bit "green" on nursing at times so it can take a second for us to get a good latch. I put the blanket over us and DS FREAKED OUT. His screaming got louder and he started swiping at the blanket to get it off. Thankfully we got a good latch and I was able to pull it off. All that's showing at this point is the top part of my breast...same that was showing in just the tank top. (it was relatively low cut) At some point in the conversation FIL goes, "Well, he's going to have to get used to being covered up."







Ugh, why?

I told DH about it later and he had the same basic response. He said, "Why? I don't see any problem with nursing in public."







I laughed and said, "I'll ask when I'm in a private setting (like someone's house)...but in a restaurant where everyone should be minding their own business ANYWAY I have no problem."

FIL also said something like, "It's okay to let them cry a little." I was like, "Excuse me?" and he said, "You can't go running everytime he whimpers or he'll expect it." I said, "So? Emotions are needs too." (thank you to whichever MDC'er said that!) Thankfully MIL goes, "Mine turned out fine..." and I said, "We don't do CIO. I never had to and I see no reason for him to."

I've also gotten several comments from MIL about being a pacifier. And comments from both of them about giving him one of my fingers to suck on when he's upset ("Why don't you just give him a pacifier?")


----------



## flower01

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AFWife* 
I Thankfully MIL goes, "Mine turned out fine..." and I said, "We don't do CIO. I never had to and I see no reason for him to."


"Mine turned out fine..."

This has become my all time most hated one-liner. I am so sick of people using this line to justify every bad parenting decision they've made.


----------



## flower01

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dougandsarah* 
Nordstrom has a AWESOME mothers lounge (changing station and two couches) in the women's restroom which is HUGE and most i've been in has two seperate lounges with couches.

Oh, I miss Norstrom's. Where I live now, the mall doesn't have one. I'm really going to miss it with this next baby.


----------



## Tari Mithrandir

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flower01* 
"Mine turned out fine..."

This has become my all time most hated one-liner. I am so sick of people using this line to justify every bad parenting decision they've made.

Especially when it is not necessarily true


----------



## amberskyfire

I can't remember if I posted this one already. I'm pretty sure I didn't since I think I just remembered it.

Last month, we went to visit family in Texas for a few weeks. My cousin has a baby boy who was 9 months old at the time. My little girl was 13 months old.

My grandmother's husband doesn't like the babies pulling the VHS movies off of the shelf for some weird reason, so we would have to watch them and make sure they didn't. My daughter, who didn't know the rules yet, went over to the shelf a few times to play with them and I had to go over and tell her "no, sweetheart, those belong to Pa-tu and he doesn't like us playing with them." Then I would pick her up and move her somewhere else.

My cousin asked me after the second time I did this in one night, "don't you ever spank her?" I said, of course not! I tell her no and we go do something else. She learns after a few tries.

My cousin just smirked at me and said "well, I just give my baby a good smack and that's how he learns."

I was absolutely horrified! Seriously!? A nine-month-old!?


----------



## AnnieMarie

Quote:

Originally Posted by flower01
"Mine turned out fine..."

This has become my all time most hated one-liner. I am so sick of people using this line to justify every bad parenting decision they've made.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tari Mithrandir* 
Especially when it is not necessarily true

















I have often had MIL hint in that direction, though she hasn't ever actually said it outright ... but a very snarky response about how her oldest son is heading for marriage #3, her daughter is divorced and miserable and her youngest son (DH) had all sorts self-confidence issues he had to deal with comes to mind and I have to bite my tongue as I don't want to be nasty. We aim to raise self-confident and most importantly happy kids and I don't see how spanking and CIO will possibly do any good.


----------



## NicaG

My mil always insists that her babies slept perfectly, from the day they were born. Perfect naps, no nighttime wakings, so easy. She acts very concerned that my kids have trouble sleeping when we're visiting (which I think is perfectly normal). I want to scream every time she talks about her perfect sleepers....since I know it can't possibly be true! And it just makes me feel bad!


----------



## HappyFox05

This one isn't particularly dumb, but was so mainstream 20th century American that I didn't know how to respond. An acquaintance asked if our 18mo DD is "off the bottle". I responded, "Um, I guess so, since she was never really on the bottle". She still nurses about a million times a day and has only ever had about 5 bottles in her life, from back when I was still working. But our friend asked about bottle, not boob.







I'm not sure what is the point of the question is. Maybe it's just a way to make small talk.


----------



## Snuzzmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flower01* 
"Mine turned out fine..."

This has become my all time most hated one-liner. I am so sick of people using this line to justify every bad parenting decision they've made.

I always want to say, "Well, we're aiming for something better than 'fine' for our children."


----------



## Tari Mithrandir

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Snuzzmom* 
I always want to say, "Well, we're aiming for something better than 'fine' for our children."

Actually, I think that would be a really great response


----------



## smeisnotapirate

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HappyFox05* 
This one isn't particularly dumb, but was so mainstream 20th century American that I didn't know how to respond. An acquaintance asked if our 18mo DD is "off the bottle". I responded, "Um, I guess so, since she was never really on the bottle". She still nurses about a million times a day and has only ever had about 5 bottles in her life, from back when I was still working. But our friend asked about bottle, not boob.







I'm not sure what is the point of the question is. Maybe it's just a way to make small talk.

"Yup, off the bottle for a LONG time. He's still nursing, though, like a million times a day," with a big







.


----------



## Jarynsmommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *FREEmom1120* 
You don't get sick from cold feet anyway!!


Omg.... when ds was born his father's mom and grandma (now my ex) freaked out because I didn't put socks on him when he was 3 months old. It was freaking JULY and hot as hell. They told him if I didn't put socks on that baby until he was at least a year old he would stay sick all the time. Of course they also didn't like that I decided to child led wean or vax him. Ha ...or any other parenting choices. However, I am proud to say that he is 3 years old and been sick 3 times in his life. Twice with strep and one ear infection. Other than that he is the healthiest kid I know and not just cause he's mine but also one of the brightest and sweetest







. I tell ya...some of these "old wives tales" scare me to death. I'm willing to bet that's why many poor babies didn't make it past a year old. I was terrified the first time ds had a fever and I was at work. I threatened dp if he did anything his mother told him to do before consulting me I would kill him. I just knew she'd tell him to pack ds in ice or rub him with alcohol....







:


----------



## mimid

I got to hear some lovely drivel last Shabbat. On the subject of CIO, someone said (she has a 7month old) "we don't do it for us. We do it for them," about CIO. Someone else was talking about how wonderful Karo syrup is in her twins' bottles and another mom with a 6 month old was talking about turning her dd's carseat because she (dd) likes to have her (mom) in sight.


----------



## ramlita

There are some freaky "old wives tales" out there,
but I still say it's the "old doctors' tales" that can do the real damage


----------



## angelamariebee

Not advice, but a stupid/hurtful comment, and from DH at that!

DD took her first step at 9 months old. Was walking around holding onto my fingers and just let go, took a step and then sat down. I was ECSTATIC, of course. But DH said, "That's it?" and then tried to tell me that it couldn't possibly count as her first step because it "wasn't that exciting".







:

This was years ago and it still makes me angry to think about. Of course, this is the same guy who was disappointed that it wasn't necessary for him to drive like a mad-man, speeding and running lights, to get me to the hospital while in labor.

I think he watches too much TV.


----------



## ramlita

Quote:


Originally Posted by *angelamariebee* 

I think he watches too much TV.

















:


----------



## Tari Mithrandir

Quote:


Originally Posted by *angelamariebee* 
Not advice, but a stupid/hurtful comment, and from DH at that!

DD took her first step at 9 months old. Was walking around holding onto my fingers and just let go, took a step and then sat down. I was ECSTATIC, of course. But DH said, "That's it?" and then tried to tell me that it couldn't possibly count as her first step because it "wasn't that exciting".







:

This was years ago and it still makes me angry to think about. Of course, this is the same guy who was disappointed that it wasn't necessary for him to drive like a mad-man, speeding and running lights, to get me to the hospital while in labor.

I think he watches too much TV.

















laughup


----------



## teale

Oh I have a new gem from the inlaws this weekend:

We were discussing homeschooling (they have no idea we intend to homeschool), and MIL goes, "There is something not right about kids who are homeschooled".

I raised my eye brows, and I said, "What?"

MIL: They just seem off, or funny, or something. It's like they don't know how to socialize.
DH: Well, then maybe it's a case where the parents didn't make the effort or time to make sure they socialized them outside of the home properly.
MIL: It's not the same thing.
DH: What do you mean?
MIL: Socializing them like that is not the same thing as going to school.
Me: Huh, well, homeschooled kids are generally smarter and better adjusted in terms of socializing, I find.
MIL: No. I don't think so. What about when they go to college? What do they do?
DH: They go to college like every other scared kid who enters the school?
MIL: Yeah, I think it's just wrong.

So apparently, when we decide to homeschool, we're going to have some issues. I can't wait to see her face when we tell her...


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *teale* 
Oh I have a new gem from the inlaws this weekend:

We were discussing homeschooling (they have no idea we intend to homeschool), and MIL goes, "There is something not right about kids who are homeschooled".

I raised my eye brows, and I said, "What?"

MIL: They just seem off, or funny, or something. It's like they don't know how to socialize.
DH: Well, then maybe it's a case where the parents didn't make the effort or time to make sure they socialized them outside of the home properly.
MIL: It's not the same thing.
DH: What do you mean?
MIL: Socializing them like that is not the same thing as going to school.
Me: Huh, well, homeschooled kids are generally smarter and better adjusted in terms of socializing, I find.
MIL: No. I don't think so. What about when they go to college? What do they do?
DH: They go to college like every other scared kid who enters the school?
MIL: *Yeah, I think it's just wrong.*

So apparently, when we decide to homeschool, we're going to have some issues. I can't wait to see her face when we tell her...









She thinks it's wrong that kids who are homeschooled are the same as kids who are schooled outside the home?

If she's bringing up topics like that, she might not be as clueless about your plans to homeschool as you think, btw.


----------



## amberskyfire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *teale* 
Oh I have a new gem from the inlaws this weekend:

We were discussing homeschooling (they have no idea we intend to homeschool), and MIL goes, "There is something not right about kids who are homeschooled".

I raised my eye brows, and I said, "What?"

MIL: They just seem off, or funny, or something. It's like they don't know how to socialize.
DH: Well, then maybe it's a case where the parents didn't make the effort or time to make sure they socialized them outside of the home properly.
MIL: It's not the same thing.
DH: What do you mean?
MIL: Socializing them like that is not the same thing as going to school.
Me: Huh, well, homeschooled kids are generally smarter and better adjusted in terms of socializing, I find.
MIL: No. I don't think so. What about when they go to college? What do they do?
DH: They go to college like every other scared kid who enters the school?
MIL: Yeah, I think it's just wrong.

So apparently, when we decide to homeschool, we're going to have some issues. I can't wait to see her face when we tell her...









I don't get people who think that kids only learn to socialize at school and never if they are homeschooled - as if they think homeschooled kids aren't allowed to leave the house.

Homeschooled kids get to socialize more and it's with people of all different age groups and people of their own choosing rather than ONLY people their exact age and then be forced to make friends within that group.

Besides, didn't these people ever GO to school? YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO SOCIALIZE IN SCHOOL. You sit at a desk and stay still and don't talk. Then you get fifteen minutes to play at recess. Sounds like the perfect way to socialize to me.


----------



## teale

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
She thinks it's wrong that kids who are homeschooled are the same as kids who are schooled outside the home?

If she's bringing up topics like that, she might not be as clueless about your plans to homeschool as you think, btw.









Ah, yes, I told DH that too. Where she would have found out is beyond me, since the only people who know, is DH, and a couple of good friends who don't speak to her/know her.

But, I hazard a guess she might see where our style is going.

Quote:

She thinks it's wrong that kids who are homeschooled are the same as kids who are schooled outside the home?
Oh, no, she thinks that homeschooled children are socially awkward, naive, sheltered children who will not know how to function in society.

There's no possible way that children who *gasp* don't attend a public school could turn out to be smart, and well adjusted! It's just not possible.

Or so says the MIL.

Quote:

I don't get people who think that kids only learn to socialize at school and never if they are homeschooled - as if they think homeschooled kids aren't allowed to leave the house.

Homeschooled kids get to socialize more and it's with people of all different age groups and people of their own choosing rather than ONLY people their exact age and then be forced to make friends within that group.

Besides, didn't these people ever GO to school? YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO SOCIALIZE IN SCHOOL. You sit at a desk and stay still and don't talk. Then you get fifteen minutes to play at recess. Sounds like the perfect way to socialize to me.
I know, right? DH brought up the fact that at least one parent would have to be home at all times, leaving more opportunity to socialize with other homeschooling children.

I can laugh now, but while we were there, I think we left a good 10 minutes after that discussion. I couldn't stand the ignorance.


----------



## Talula Fairie

Plus, doesn't anyone here have traumatic memories of the social issues in school? I had a miserable time from the day I started preschool until the day I left high school. I always had a few friends but I am not one of those "everyone likes her" type of people. I also lived in one of the most affluent counties in the country while my mother was a student and we were living on gov't grants, subsidized housing, student loans, and welfare. Yeah, I didn't fit in with the kids whose parents were doctors and lawyers that lived in million dollar houses and wore two hundred dollar outfits. It took me years to recover from middle school. I don't really want to homeschool, but if my kids have anything like the type of experience I did, I will pull 'em out of school in a heartbeat and hs.


----------



## angelamariebee

Quote:


Originally Posted by *teale* 
Oh I have a new gem from the inlaws this weekend:

We were discussing homeschooling (they have no idea we intend to homeschool), and MIL goes, "There is something not right about kids who are homeschooled".

I raised my eye brows, and I said, "What?"

MIL: They just seem off, or funny, or something. It's like they don't know how to socialize.
DH: Well, then maybe it's a case where the parents didn't make the effort or time to make sure they socialized them outside of the home properly.
MIL: It's not the same thing.
DH: What do you mean?
MIL: Socializing them like that is not the same thing as going to school.
Me: Huh, well, homeschooled kids are generally smarter and better adjusted in terms of socializing, I find.
MIL: No. I don't think so. What about when they go to college? What do they do?
DH: They go to college like every other scared kid who enters the school?
MIL: Yeah, I think it's just wrong.

So apparently, when we decide to homeschool, we're going to have some issues. I can't wait to see her face when we tell her...









Well, I agree-- it's not the same. Depending on the child, homeschooling is probably BETTER for them! Not every child fits so neatly into the public school system. I'd tell her THAT! lol


----------



## dianakaye

I've been lurking for 3 days reading all the pages and am going to drop my 2 favorite gems:

Told a friend I pick up my 6-month-old if he wakes up from a nap early and I just got out of the shower even before I get dressed:

Her: "Don't you ever just let him fuss?"
Me: "No"

Out to lunch with my mom and she snatches the baby away from me and starts to walk away:

Her: "I'm taking him on a walk. He's not going to people as easy these days. You have to get him used to going to other people"
Me: "No I don't. Can I have my son back now?"

Sometimes I feel like a two-year-old saying "No" all the time, but I'm just exercising my right to raise my kid according to the dictates of my conscience.


----------



## dianakaye

Oh, and my favorite comeback for the "homeschooled-kids-are-weird-thing" is

"My husband was homeschooled. He's my favorite person in the world. I can't think of anyone else I'd rather socialize with."


----------



## Shenjall

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
I don't get people who think that kids only learn to socialize at school and never if they are homeschooled - as if they think homeschooled kids aren't allowed to leave the house.

Homeschooled kids get to socialize more and it's with people of all different age groups and people of their own choosing rather than ONLY people their exact age and then be forced to make friends within that group.

Besides, didn't these people ever GO to school? YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO SOCIALIZE IN SCHOOL. You sit at a desk and stay still and don't talk. Then you get fifteen minutes to play at recess. Sounds like the perfect way to socialize to me.









No kidding. At my kids school, they are only allowed to play with kids in their own class at recess. Yeah. A WHOLE LOTTA socializing going on there! I cant wait for this school year to be over...counting down the days now....


----------



## teale

Quote:


Originally Posted by *angelamariebee* 
Well, I agree-- it's not the same. Depending on the child, homeschooling is probably BETTER for them! Not every child fits so neatly into the public school system. I'd tell her THAT! lol

It isn't the same, but I definitely don't think she meant it was different in a positive way. She definitely said that homeschooled children are socially awkward, and unlikely to succeed in life.















:


----------



## Mommy2Austin

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dianakaye* 
Oh, and my favorite comeback for the "homeschooled-kids-are-weird-thing" is

"My husband was homeschooled. He's my favorite person in the world. I can't think of anyone else I'd rather socialize with."

I totally agree! My husband was homeschooled where as I was in public school and my husband can talk to anyone or do anything and until this past few months (of soul searching) I couldn't even pick up the phone and order a pizza without a completely mental breakdown of having to make conversation with a stranger. Thank You Public education for making me a metaphorical closet case.

(I don't blame it all on being in public school, but some of the things I had to deal with there certainly exacerbated the situation at hand.)


----------



## angelamariebee

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mommy2Austin* 
I totally agree! My husband was homeschooled where as I was in public school and my husband can talk to anyone or do anything and until this past few months (of soul searching) I couldn't even pick up the phone and order a pizza without a completely mental breakdown of having to make conversation with a stranger. Thank You Public education for making me a metaphorical closet case.

(I don't blame it all on being in public school, but some of the things I had to deal with there certainly exacerbated the situation at hand.)

Whoa, I seriously had to do a double take to make sure I hadn't written this post and then forgot. I seriously could have! Although my husband wasn't entirely homeschooled, he was for awhile.


----------



## FiveLittleMonkeys

Just read through the entire thread....wow, there are some really interesting people out there!

I can think of two instances of dumb and/or hurtful things people have said to me...

#1 When my dh and I were expecting our first baby, I had a great deal of bleeding and we truly thought we would lose a very much wanted pregnancy. We called his parents for support, and my FIL said to me, "Well, I hope you lose the baby - it will just ruin your lives if you have one now." I couldn't even speak.

#2 We had a homebirth with our last baby, and my mother remarked that having our 6 1/2 yo dd there to watch would either turn her into a lesbian or a nun. All I could do was laugh......and at 14 1/2, dd is not showing signs of being either (although I guess being present for this next baby's birth could just do her in!)


----------



## Tari Mithrandir

Quote:


Originally Posted by *FiveLittleMonkeys* 
#1 When my dh and I were expecting our first baby, I had a great deal of bleeding and we truly thought we would lose a very much wanted pregnancy. We called his parents for support, and my FIL said to me, "Well, I hope you lose the baby - it will just ruin your lives if you have one now." I couldn't even speak.


You FIL sounds like my stepson







: When we were told we had had a miscarriage with our first pregnancy the little %$&* had the guts to literally DANCE in front of us and tell us how happy he was, he didn't want a 'screaming brat' around in the first place. When I ended up in emerg surgery a month later, after find out it was ectopic and not a miscarriage, he did the same after I came home.
Some people just shouldn't speak.


----------



## Down2Earth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mommy2Austin* 
I totally agree! My husband was homeschooled where as I was in public school and my husband can talk to anyone or do anything and until this past few months (of soul searching) I couldn't even pick up the phone and order a pizza without a completely mental breakdown of having to make conversation with a stranger. Thank You Public education for making me a metaphorical closet case.

(I don't blame it all on being in public school, but some of the things I had to deal with there certainly exacerbated the situation at hand.)

Oh my! I too could have written this post. But I never realized that it could have been the homeschooling. I guess at public it is just too easy to go your whole day not talking to anyone. And even to this day we bicker about who calls in the order for Chinese. And he usually does!


----------



## Amber Lion

About breastfeeding and DD not really taking to solids:

Me: Well, at least she doesn't really need them yet. Maybe I'll just bf forever and then we won't have to deal with it! Ha, ha!

MIL: Well I won't even tell you about my sister's nightmare of bfing her two year old.

Me: What happened?

MIL: Her breasts went completely flat. That boy just sucked them flat and she never got them back! Now, I know you've got more to start with than she ever did, but you just watch out or you'll have a flat chest too.

Me: Uh...oh. (thinking yeah right, my DDs are just going to turn into a flat chest?!)

MIL: She shouldn't have been nursing him in the first place. That boy has all sorts of problems, you just shouldn't nurse a kid that old. It's not healthy for them.


----------



## Talula Fairie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Amber Lion* 
About breastfeeding and DD not really taking to solids:

Me: Well, at least she doesn't really need them yet. Maybe I'll just bf forever and then we won't have to deal with it! Ha, ha!

MIL: Well I won't even tell you about my sister's nightmare of bfing her two year old.

Me: What happened?

MIL: Her breasts went completely flat. That boy just sucked them flat and she never got them back! Now, I know you've got more to start with than she ever did, but you just watch out or you'll have a flat chest too.

Me: Uh...oh. (thinking yeah right, my DDs are just going to turn into a flat chest?!)

MIL: She shouldn't have been nursing him in the first place. That boy has all sorts of problems, you just shouldn't nurse a kid that old. It's not healthy for them.










that is so full of stupid I don't know where to begin!


----------



## PatienceAndLove

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tari Mithrandir* 
You FIL sounds like my stepson







: When we were told we had had a miscarriage with our first pregnancy the little %$&* had the guts to literally DANCE in front of us and tell us how happy he was, he didn't want a 'screaming brat' around in the first place. When I ended up in emerg surgery a month later, after find out it was ectopic and not a miscarriage, he did the same after I came home.
Some people just shouldn't speak.









I don't think UAV even covers that!

Swearing Swearword with a side of Profanity!!!!


----------



## schoolmom07

My MIL always says that traits, looks, intelligence, etc..comes from the "Weathers" side. I ask "Ya' think I might have had something to do with it or anyone from my family"? Since I am adopted it is just assumed I have no genes that go back farther than me or even if I have any. Frustrating...Especially since my daughter tends to have mainly my traits, toes, temper...Ok, I am digging my own grave. She does have my hubbie's uni-brow which (is not that bad but bugs me) I will fix when she is old enough. Hubbies is much worse...LOL!


----------



## CorasMama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Amber Lion* 
About breastfeeding and DD not really taking to solids:

Me: Well, at least she doesn't really need them yet. Maybe I'll just bf forever and then we won't have to deal with it! Ha, ha!

MIL: Well I won't even tell you about my sister's nightmare of bfing her two year old.

Me: What happened?

MIL: Her breasts went completely flat. That boy just sucked them flat and she never got them back! Now, I know you've got more to start with than she ever did, but you just watch out or you'll have a flat chest too.

Me: Uh...oh. (thinking yeah right, my DDs are just going to turn into a flat chest?!)

MIL: She shouldn't have been nursing him in the first place. That boy has all sorts of problems, you just shouldn't nurse a kid that old. It's not healthy for them.










Aaaaagh! The Stupid, how it burns!

Seriously, it's so bizarre to me when people think breasts are like water balloons, especially women. How can you be an owner of breasts and think that? Surely women must notice that there's a lot of tissue there that isn't milk, (like when she is not lactating,) when she is putting her bra on every day?


----------



## angelamariebee

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CorasMama* 
Aaaaagh! The Stupid, how it burns!

Seriously, it's so bizarre to me when people think breasts are like water balloons, especially women. How can you be an owner of breasts and think that? Surely women must notice that there's a lot of tissue there that isn't milk, (like when she is not lactating,) when she is putting her bra on every day?

Most of a typical woman's life her breasts are "non-functional" (if they ever use them at all) and they certainly don't teach this subject in school so I can understand how they just wouldn't be aware. It's really astonishing how much most women do NOT know about their bodies (breasts, vulvas/vaginas, reproductive system, etc). Sad, really.


----------



## Belia

Quote:


Originally Posted by *FiveLittleMonkeys* 
#2 We had a homebirth with our last baby, and my mother remarked that having our 6 1/2 yo dd there to watch would either turn her into a lesbian or a nun.

I love the assumption by your MIL that being a lesbian or a nun is a bad thing.














:


----------



## In Exile

Quote:


Originally Posted by *angelamariebee* 
Most of a typical woman's life her breasts are "non-functional" (if they ever use them at all) and they certainly don't teach this subject in school so I can understand how they just wouldn't be aware. It's really astonishing how much most women do NOT know about their bodies (breasts, vulvas/vaginas, reproductive system, etc). Sad, really.

That is very true. The outcry you hear when you mention menstrual cups....I am supposed to put THAT WHERE?? So many women are completely unfamiliar with their own bodies, it's amazing. Most women will never know the location of their uterus, how it can "wander" during a cycle etc. Oh well.


----------



## chinchen

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dianakaye* 
I've been lurking for 3 days reading all the pages and am going to drop my 2 favorite gems:

Told a friend I pick up my 6-month-old if he wakes up from a nap early and I just got out of the shower even before I get dressed:

Her: "Don't you ever just let him fuss?"
Me: "No"

I have what you could call an exceptionally well demeanored preemie. i have heard him cry only a handful of time. otherwise he protests mildly to whatever is bugging him. he is very chill at 2.5 months. everyone asks me first, if he cries. then when i say no..."oh that'll change! pretty soon he'll be screaming all the time!" well, there's no reason it needs to...his needs are met by silent cues still. he hardly ever has to make a noise. except his hang out sounds. i love those.

Quote:


Out to lunch with my mom and she snatches the baby away from me and starts to walk away:

Her: "I'm taking him on a walk. He's not going to people as easy these days. You have to get him used to going to other people"
Me: "No I don't. Can I have my son back now?"

Sometimes I feel like a two-year-old saying "No" all the time, but I'm just exercising my right to raise my kid according to the dictates of my conscience.
im sitting next to ds in swing RIGHT after getting him to sleep. he hadnt been sleeping well that morning and still needs lots of rest. mil comes upstairs and sits down next to him and proceeds to touch and talk to him. very playfully i said "dont you dare wake him up! i just got him down."
mil: i have grandma rights! i can do what i want. i dont have to explain what i do with MY GRANDBABIES!"

no you dont. yes you do. no they arent!

grrrrr







:


----------



## chinchen

oh yeah. heres 2 more from another parent in the NICU:

no! dont bite his nails! they'll grow in weird.

im not kissing my baby on the lips or hands for AT LEAST 6 months. you shouldnt. it can be really bad. all the germs you know?

i giggled quietly.


----------



## Honey693

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chinchen* 
im not kissing my baby on the lips or hands for AT LEAST 6 months. you shouldnt. it can be really bad. all the germs you know?

Do they not realize that the baby come out their crotch? I mean kissing their hands is a lot less messy lol.


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## ziggyzaazaa

Look Suuckie! Another Puppy! My sister is really weird! LOL


----------



## teale

So many new stories, must comment on all of them!!







:

Quote:

#1 When my dh and I were expecting our first baby, I had a great deal of bleeding and we truly thought we would lose a very much wanted pregnancy. We called his parents for support, and my FIL said to me, "Well, I hope you lose the baby - it will just ruin your lives if you have one now." I couldn't even speak.
Um, so do we have the same FIL? Because, my FIL told DH the same thing when were pregnant with DS. It was more like, "You guys shouldn't have gotten pregnant, it was the worst thing you could have ever done for your life."

I still haven't gotten over that comment, and it ticks me off when I see him being all sweet to DS.







:

Quote:

Aaaaagh! The Stupid, how it burns!

Seriously, it's so bizarre to me when people think breasts are like water balloons, especially women. How can you be an owner of breasts and think that? Surely women must notice that there's a lot of tissue there that isn't milk, (like when she is not lactating,) when she is putting her bra on every day?
But, like OMG, flat boobs are like, so totally awful, don't you know?








You know, for a culture that claims to be so sexually advanced, and in turn with our bodies, we sure can be backwards..Yikes.

Quote:

Sometimes I feel like a two-year-old saying "No" all the time, but I'm just exercising my right to raise my kid according to the dictates of my conscience.
YES! Me too! Dealing with the IL's has been more of a challenge then raising my child. I say "no" more to them, then I do to DS, and it's mainly because they ignore me or DH.


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## angelamariebee

Quote:


Originally Posted by *In Exile* 
That is very true. The outcry you hear when you mention menstrual cups....I am supposed to put THAT WHERE?? So many women are completely unfamiliar with their own bodies, it's amazing. Most women will never know the location of their uterus, how it can "wander" during a cycle etc. Oh well.

I fully plan on having DD study Taking Charge of Your Fertility and books like it when she's older. This is stuff they NEED to know!


----------



## PatienceAndLove

Quote:


Originally Posted by *angelamariebee* 
I fully plan on having DD study Taking Charge of Your Fertility and books like it when she's older. This is stuff they NEED to know!

Toni Weschler wrote a book for teen girls: _Cycle Savvy: The Smart Teen's Guide to the Mysteries of Her Body_


----------



## angelamariebee

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PatienceAndLove* 
Toni Weschler wrote a book for teen girls: _Cycle Savvy: The Smart Teen's Guide to the Mysteries of Her Body_

Awesome, thanks! I've got quite a few years before I have to worry about this though. DD isn't even three yet.


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## goodheartedmama

My grandma (love her to death, but just different eras, you know?) kept saying that the baby was hating being on my back in the wrap, hated being in the ring sling, and she'd be much happier if I'd just bring a stroller for her when we go to the zoo. Me, my sister, and my mom all kept telling her she loved it. She still felt sorry for the baby and was beyond delighted when I put her in the older kid's stroller during lunch. There Maile was, giggling and babbling while on my back, and grandma would not quit insisting that she must hate it. Why do people think babies don't like being held?


----------



## kriket

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chinchen* 
im not kissing my baby on the lips or hands for AT LEAST 6 months. you shouldnt. it can be really bad. all the germs you know?

nak

i was concerned about ds and kissing him on his sweet baby lips because if the germs (in my mouth) one day i said "to hell with it" an kissed him on the lips..

he let out a HUGE belch just as i did! i'm lucky it was just a burp!


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## schoolmom07

I am 6 months preggo with 2nd baby girl and don't know if this counts but was trying to explain anterior placenta to an aquaintance. I had explained that I do feel baby move but you just can't feel it on the outside yet. She responds with "You don't think the baby could be stillborn do you"? OMG! Not the first stupid thing I have heard out of someone's mouth lately...


----------



## AnnieMarie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PatienceAndLove* 
Toni Weschler wrote a book for teen girls: _Cycle Savvy: The Smart Teen's Guide to the Mysteries of Her Body_


Quote:


Originally Posted by *angelamariebee* 
Awesome, thanks! I've got quite a few years before I have to worry about this though. DD isn't even three yet.









My DD isn't one yet, but I am bookmarking that book in readiness for when she is older. The general lack of knowledge and understanding women seem to have of their bodies is astounding!!!


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## triscuitsmom

This past weekend we went to spend the weekend with my MIL. It was mostly a good weekend with a couple of gems in there.

My favourite was when we were all eating birthday cake she'd made for my DP (his birthday was Wednesday so we celebrated a few days early with her while we were down). I was sitting at the table with DS1 and DP was standing up eating holding on to DS2 who was perfectly content (but only as long as Daddy was standing







).

She came over from eating her cake with icing on her finger and tried to put it in the baby's mouth. DP said No, he can't have that and turned to face the other way. She walked around him and tried again from the other side.







: DP walked all the way over to the other side of the room and said "No, he really really cannot have anything except breastmilk". She replied, "You know you're allowed to give him little tastes!" as if DP had just not been told this, and she was informing him of something very important to childrearing.

Did I mention the baby in question was only 3.5 months old??? AND has multiple sensitivities to foods through my milk already, multiple allergies to fabrics, and at least one drug allergy that we know about already AND has a gut that is still healing from antibiotics (all of which she knows btw).









The worst part is she sees nothing wrong with that... so we can't even trust her to not do it again. We're adamant that he not have anything other than me until at least six months, and no dairy/egg/gluten challenges until after twelve months and she doesn't see it as important so we'll have to be on guard at all times.


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## newmommy7-08

This one has been mentioned before, but WHY do people think babies are bad if they cry!

Yesterday DH's aunt was over and DS cried at various times when he wanted something... usually attention and since he's at that stage and doesn't really see her that often he wanted reassurance that yes, mama is still here and still knows that he's playing on the floor and that no mama isn't going anywhere. These are not bad traits! He was NOT throwing a temper tantrum, and once I answered him or called out to him he immediately stopped!

Yet she feels it's ok to look at him and say aren't you a bad boy. I was totally floored! HE'S 11 MONTHS OLD HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO BE BAD!!!!


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## tjjazzy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *newmommy7-08* 

Yet she feels it's ok to look at him and say aren't you a bad boy. I was totally floored! HE'S 11 MONTHS OLD HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO BE BAD!!!!

not to mention how it makes me *shudder* when people call children "bad."


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *goodheartedmama* 
My grandma (love her to death, but just different eras, you know?) kept saying that the baby was hating being on my back in the wrap, hated being in the ring sling, and she'd be much happier if I'd just bring a stroller for her when we go to the zoo. Me, my sister, and my mom all kept telling her she loved it. She still felt sorry for the baby and was beyond delighted when I put her in the older kid's stroller during lunch. There Maile was, giggling and babbling while on my back, and grandma would not quit insisting that she must hate it. Why do people think babies don't like being held?

My MIL said to me today (again, might I add) that I'm going to want to get a "carrier" (baby bucket) because he's going to keep getting big. I said, "For what?" and she replied, "For when you go out...like to restaurants. He's going to get too big to hold before he can sit up." Not only do I not believe that (He already has crazy head control for a 1 month old) but I don't mind holding him. And, he's usually content to just lay on a booth next to me when we go out to eat. Why does everyone think that baby buckets are the best thing ever? I hate them. They just look so bulky and cumbersome. I really don't want to carry it around.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *newmommy7-08* 
Yet she feels it's ok to look at him and say aren't you a bad boy. I was totally floored! HE'S 11 MONTHS OLD HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO BE BAD!!!!

If I had a dollar for every person that has asked if DS is a "good baby" (or commented on what a "good baby" he is) we'd be on our way to a college fund!

Hmm..maybe that's the key. Start charging for the "good baby" "bad baby" stuff...


----------



## Shenjall

So, if a baby is too big too hold, how is adding an extra 10lbs to the weight make it easier to carry him/her?


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shenjall* 
So, if a baby is too big too hold, how is adding an extra 10lbs to the weight make it easier to carry him/her?









My thoughts exactly. Plus the SIZE it adds?


----------



## angelamariebee

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AFWife* 
My MIL said to me today (again, might I add) that I'm going to want to get a "carrier" (baby bucket) because he's going to keep getting big. I said, "For what?" and she replied, "For when you go out...like to restaurants. He's going to get too big to hold before he can sit up." Not only do I not believe that (He already has crazy head control for a 1 month old) but I don't mind holding him. And, he's usually content to just lay on a booth next to me when we go out to eat. Why does everyone think that baby buckets are the best thing ever? I hate them. They just look so bulky and cumbersome. I really don't want to carry it around.

I don't get this either. We had an infant seat but it rarely left the car. DD was probably seven months old before we were comfortable letting her sit by herself in a high chair at restaurants and even then it was bittersweet. I teared up a little the first time she sat in one, I missed her!

Which brings me to another point-- they really aren't small for that long. Seven months of holding her while I ate was NOTHING. People can't seem to put that into perspective. Like with breastfeeding, I couldn't imagine having only nursed her for a few months (I nursed for 30). That just seems like such a short time for me! Even the 2+ years that I did nurse went by so fast. I think I spent a lot of time waiting for DD to reach the next milestone and "grow up" because it was exciting. The next baby (if there is one), I'm going to REALLY cherish those early months because they just fly by! It's amazing!


----------



## teale

Another gem from the inlaws, it's a two part story!

We've had some major issues with the IL's listening to us regarding anything parenting. It's infuriating, and eye-rolling at best. Anyway, so this weekend we had the final situation that made us finally decide we need to stand our ground.

We're getting ready to leave their house (after the lovely homeschooling comments- my brain hurt too much to socialize anymore), and DS was walking down their stairs, where he noticed a box of candy that MIL had for her office.

DS: Deesh? (This?)
MIL: Oh yes! I'll get you one!
DH: What is that?
MIL: Nothing.
DH: No, seriously, what is it?
Me (whispering to him): Chocolate.
DH: Is that chocolate?
MIL: Yeah, he wants some (unwraps the chocolate)
DH: No, he doesn't need it.
MIL: It's okay, it won't hurt him.
DH: I know that, but he's not having any. There is no need for him to have any junk at this age.
MIL: Oh c'mon. (Hands the chocolate to DS)
DH: No. (Takes the chocolate out of DS's hand)
MIL: It's just chocolate, he can have it (Takes it out of DH's hand and hands the chocolate back to DS:
Me: MIL, he doesn't need it.
DH: Seriously. We said no. (Takes the chocolate and hands it to me)
MIL: Where did the chocolate go?
Me: I ate it, so DS wouldn't.
MIL: I'll get him another piece!
Me: (under my breath) What the $%^?!
DH: No, Mom, he doesn't need it, we're not giving him chocolate.
MIL: It's okay! REALLY! You need to relax! He deserves it! (Hands DS chocolate AGAIN)
DH: C'mon, stop it! (Eats the chocolate out of DS's hand)
Me: DH, let's get out of here. Bye MIL.

So, on the way home, I told DH it was time to tell them that they need to listen to us, or there's going to be consequences. For so long, we've fought with them, and this just was too much. It wasn't even about the chocolate in the end, it was the fact that she wouldn't listen. DS has had tastes of things before, but I never let the IL's do anything like that because they don't a) know when to stop and b) don't listen to either of us when we tell them to stop. We're DS's parents, we make the decisions, and they need to listen to us when we tell them to stop.

DH went to talk to his parents just last night about it.

DH: So, I just wanted to talk to you guys about what happened on Sunday.
MIL: What happened?
DH: When we say no to you about something with DS, you need to listen to us. We're his parents.
MIL: Is this about the chocolate?
DH: Well, no, but that situation is why we are talking to you about this.
MIL: It's JUST chocolate!
DH: Mom, that's not what I'm trying to tell you. I'm not here to debate chocolate, I'm here to say that we are DS's parents, and what we say goes.
MIL: Chocolate is actually good for you, you know.
DH: C'mon. He's 17 months old, we've decided no candy or junk food. He loves fruits and veggies, we'd like to keep it that way as long as possible.
MIL: Well, there is nothing wrong with chocolate.
DH: Mom. It's not about the chocolate. We've made this decision as his parents, and you need to listen to us.
MIL: Well, what about smarties? Can he have smarties?
DH: NO. Those are candy, NO CANDY.
MIL: So what are you going to do when he's older and all the other kids have smarties, because all kids eat smarties, and he's the only one who can't?
DH: Are you serious? Because it feels like you are trying to egg me on now. That's ridiculous.
MIL: Fine.
DH: We just want you to respect that we make the choices for him, and we decide what happens with DS because he is our son.
FIL: So what can he have?
DH: Anything but candy, junk food, or stuff that is bad for anyone, no matter their age.
FIL: Can he have an orange?
DH: Yes.
FIL: What about a hashbrown?
DH: Yes.
MIL: Oh, he can have a hashbrown but not chocolate?
DH: Hashbrowns are potatoes. Not even the same thing.
FIL: Can he have water?
DH: What?! Are you mocking me now? You know he can have water.

If you managed to get through all of that, and not have your head explode, kudos to you. The stupid makes my head feel like it's going to fall off.


----------



## Tari Mithrandir

Quote:


Originally Posted by *teale* 
If you managed to get through all of that, and not have your head explode, kudos to you. The stupid makes my head feel like it's going to fall off.









:

Got through, but boy did I want to get up and leave that house


----------



## amberskyfire

Oh my gosh, teale! You handled that situation much better than I would have! I so would have snatched that chocolate from MIL after the second time, dropped it on the floor and ground it deep into the carpet with my foot.

I do NOT tolerate people treating me like I'm not worth listening to







:

Kudos to you for being so calm and sweet!


----------



## Kappa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *teale* 
MIL: Well, what about smarties? Can he have smarties?
DH: NO. Those are candy, NO CANDY.
MIL: So what are you going to do when he's older and all the other kids have smarties, because all kids eat smarties, and he's the only one who can't?
DH: Are you serious? Because it feels like you are trying to egg me on now. That's ridiculous.
MIL: Fine.
DH: We just want you to respect that we make the choices for him, and we decide what happens with DS because he is our son.
FIL: So what can he have?
DH: Anything but candy, junk food, or stuff that is bad for anyone, no matter their age.
FIL: Can he have an orange?
DH: Yes.
FIL: What about a hashbrown?
DH: Yes.
MIL: Oh, he can have a hashbrown but not chocolate?
DH: Hashbrowns are potatoes. Not even the same thing.
FIL: Can he have water?
DH: What?! Are you mocking me now? You know he can have water.

If you managed to get through all of that, and not have your head explode, kudos to you. The stupid makes my head feel like it's going to fall off.

This is the funniest thing I've read all day. Keep the ILs around just for the comedy it brings MDC









Does your MIL really "mock" your DH?? That totally sounds like something I would do (not give some one else's baby chocolate, but act spacey when I don't want to "get" what some one is telling me about child-rearing).


----------



## angelamariebee

This advice wasn't for me, but for someone else who posted in a group I'm in. She was asking for ideas on what to feed her baby now that he was on solids and someone replied:

"My friends daughter is 7 mos old and she love kraft mac and cheese becuase the baby food crap is nasty and has no flavor, and I wouldnt feed that crap to my kids if someone paid me too..."

It's relatively low on the stupid-scale, compared to some of the other stuff posted here but I still couldn't help but think, "Really?!" I'm not a fan of jarred food either, but I'd certainly choose that over Kraft mac and cheese!


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Crystal_R* 
Do they not realize that the baby come out their crotch? I mean kissing their hands is a lot less messy lol.

That being said, you'll do your kids a huge favor keeping people with mouth herpes, er, cold sores, from kissing them.


----------



## kriket

Quote:


Originally Posted by *angelamariebee* 
I'm not a fan of jarred food either, but I'd certainly choose that over Kraft mac and cheese!

I love Kraft Dinner. Its my weak spot







: But I'm not a baby!

teale: I'm taking notes, my MIL is warming up the crazy.


----------



## Belia

Quote:


Originally Posted by *teale* 
If you managed to get through all of that, and not have your head explode, kudos to you. The stupid makes my head feel like it's going to fall off.

Oh. My. God.

Just READING that makes me so frustrated.... I can only imagine what it was like to LIVE it.

It sounds like your MIL needs very clear, fast, and unbending boundaries. As in "No, DS cannot have chocolate. Period. If you say one more word about chocolate, we are leaving immediately." Then do it without saying a word. Every time, with every one of these ridiculous situations.

Sorry- I know you didn't ask for advice. I'm just thinking it through in my head for when I face something similar.


----------



## SashaBreeze

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jarynsmommy* 
I tell ya...some of these "old wives tales" scare me to death. I'm willing to bet that's why many poor babies didn't make it past a year old. I was terrified the first time ds had a fever and I was at work. I threatened dp if he did anything his mother told him to do before consulting me I would kill him. I just knew she'd tell him to pack ds in ice or rub him with alcohol....







:

I know what you mean. My mom and grandmother firmly believe that if a baby doesn't fall from a height of at least 1 foot before they are one year then they will not live past their first birthday.







I might add that they are BOTH college graduates, but they hold on to this one and a few others with a passion.

A lot of old wives tales are just good common since, some of them however are.... well the opposite.







:


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SashaBreeze* 
I know what you mean. My mom and grandmother firmly believe that if a baby doesn't fall from a height of at least 1 foot before they are one year then they will not live past their first birthday.









Sounds like a correlation/causation problem. Lethargic babies are both sick and less likely to do the sort of rolling and exploring that results in falls. So that might be where the idea that they *need* to fall came from.

It's sort of like how someone over in LWAB had her pediatrician tell her she would have to work on getting her LO to point. One sign of autism is not pointing, but it's not like pointing will prevent autism. I can just see it, ten years from now, special sticks to insert in baby-sized gloves.


----------



## teale

Quote:

Does your MIL really "mock" your DH?? That totally sounds like something I would do (not give some one else's baby chocolate, but act spacey when I don't want to "get" what some one is telling me about child-rearing).
Yeah, I've seen them mock DH before (we had an incident at Christmas where they openly mocked him, as in the same stuff I saw in junior high, with the snickering, and so forth), so this behavior does not surprise me at all. We've just learned to just roll our eyes and ignore it for the most part, but it's starting to get personal, if that makes sense?

I just can't imagine another adult, in a mature, civil conversation acting like that, other then to be malicious or to throw a proverbial temper tantrum.

Quote:

teale: I'm taking notes, my MIL is warming up the crazy.
I could literally write a book with the crap they've pulled. My close GF's wonder why we still are in contact with them- this stuff is minor compared to some of the crap they've pulled previously. Unfortunately, it's getting more often, and they are being more belligerent about not listening.

Quote:

It sounds like your MIL needs very clear, fast, and unbending boundaries. As in "No, DS cannot have chocolate. Period. If you say one more word about chocolate, we are leaving immediately." Then do it without saying a word. Every time, with every one of these ridiculous situations.
Absolutely. I told DH that he needed to say something first, so that if this happens again, I can step up and say, "DH talked to you about this, we weren't joking, and now we're leaving". Before, we just stewed about it, vented to each other, avoided them for awhile, and then went back to their house, only to have the circumstances repeat. I'm hoping that despite the immature response we got, that they did "get it", and will back off.

I just wanted to precedence to be officially set before we started onto the harsher consequences (versus the lack of consequences we had before).


----------



## teale

So last night I was at a mom's group, where a GF and I were discussing the NCSS and the NCDS (No Cry Discipline- I'd never heard of it). We were talking about how it's hard to instill the discipline when our kids are a younger age and don't grasp concepts.

Another mom in the group pipes up and says (we'll call her OM)

OM: Have you heard of The Baby Whisperer?
Me: Uh..yeah, I'm not a fan of scheduling like that, personally.
OM: It's not scheduling.
Me:...Yeah, it is.
OM: No, it's not. It's E.A.S.Y.
Me: I know. It's scheduling, and I don't think scheduling a baby is beneficial to them in anyway, especially when it's so structured and stringent.
OM: It's not scheduling though.
Me: Yeah, it is. I'm not insulting you, but it is scheduling, and I personally think that things like that can be detrimental to a baby's development.
OM: It was helpful for me....
Me: And that's fine, but it's scheduling, and I'm not really up for debating something that I'm totally against.
OM: How can you be against something you've never read?
Me: Ha. You don't know that. I've definitely taken the time to do my homework, that method is scheduling.

She tried to keep the debate going, but I just started talking to another mom. Apparently, The Baby Whisperer's method is NOT a schedule, even though, yanno, it's a schedule.


----------



## angelamariebee

Teale, I like that you actually spoke up. Put the idea into her head that there may be something wrong with it. It sounds like it won't do her or her baby any good, but I always like it when I can give someone my differeing opinion, just so they know they exist, kwim? I'm really bad at that though, I probably would have just smiled and nodded along...


----------



## teale

Quote:


Originally Posted by *angelamariebee* 
Teale, I like that you actually spoke up. Put the idea into her head that there may be something wrong with it. It sounds like it won't do her or her baby any good, but I always like it when I can give someone my differeing opinion, just so they know they exist, kwim? I'm really bad at that though, I probably would have just smiled and nodded along...

She had gotten on my last nerve at this point. She had expressed some off the wall opinions earlier in the meeting, and I just bit my tongue, but when she interjected into the conversation like that, I couldn't keep quiet anymore.


----------



## amberskyfire

Just a quick one...

My SIL _shaved_ her infant daughter's head...because she thought it would make her hair grow in thick







:


----------



## Tari Mithrandir

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
Just a quick one...

My SIL _shaved_ her infant daughter's head...because she thought it would make her hair grow in thick







:









Actually, I know a girl who is pregnant, and when she was still TTC she told me she almost hoped she didn't have a girl, because in their family they always shave the baby's head to make the hair grow back thick. She says she doesn't want it done ('it ruins the baby soft and curls! And it doesn't work anyway!'), but knows if she ever leaves the baby, even for a few minutes, she'd come back to find it shaved!
I was shocked!







:


----------



## angelamariebee

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tari Mithrandir* 
Actually, I know a girl who is pregnant, and when she was still TTC she told me she almost hoped she didn't have a girl, because in their family they always shave the baby's head to make the hair grow back thick. She says she doesn't want it done ('it ruins the baby soft and curls! And it doesn't work anyway!'), but knows if she ever leaves the baby, even for a few minutes, she'd come back to find it shaved!
I was shocked!







:

BAH! I would lose my mind if someone did that to my baby!


----------



## Aubergine68

Health Unit Nurse, to group of bf mothers at a new mom's group (my sis was in the group)...

"If your baby seems constipated, make sure you eat lots of fibre in your diet and it will pass through into your milk and help your baby!"

Eating a healthy diet is, of course, important while nursing...but, um, fibre doesn't absorb and goes through the digestive system, and comes out the other end....


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## Lynn08

My dh had a good one yesterday (bless his heart, tho - he really was sweet by trying to help me out







). DD is going thru a _very_ clingy/needy stage right now; she cries all.the.time. over the littlest thing and will not be consoled by anyone other than me (when she can be consoled, that is). Dh suggested we transition her to a crib. When I asked why, he said "Well, I think her sleeping with us is causing her clinginess."

I had to chuckle and explain that it was just a stage and where she sleeps has nothing to do with it. He was relieved because it's only been the last week or so that she cuddles up to him at night, and he _loves_ it.


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## aurora_skys

My husband and I recently began applying continuum concept like methods to our parenting. We were amazed when we realized that all we had to do was let 7 mo old ds play in a baby proofed area and follow us around and he would be perfectly content. My mil is an extremely high strung woman and she really over stimulates ds on her visits. You know, lots of in your face, high pitched squealing baby talk and tickling, really hyper active stuff.

So we explained the c.c. to her and was like "Ooh, yea, thats totally how I parented, blah blah blah"







So then dh says "Great, maybe you could help us do this with ds while you visit" and she just brushed us off, "I _could_ but _Im_ a _grandmother_ and I just have to pay him lots and lots of attention!! *squeal squeal at baby*"

Not the worst thing, I know, but the previous posts about being disregarded by in laws reminded me of it... *sigh* soo irritating.

And to the pps who mentioned stupid horrible comments about miscarriages, yea, im right there with ya. The comments I got were so hurtful...


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## Storm Bride

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kriket* 
I love Kraft Dinner. Its my weak spot







: But I'm not a baby!

I've never fully outgrown my weak spot for Kraft Dinner (my mom didn't feed it to us...but grandma did). I've also given it to my kids, which I suspect is a mistake. But, even though I'm not fond of jarred baby food, I can't imagine advising anyone to feed their child (of any age!) Kraft Dinner, in order to _avoid_ feeding them crap!


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## angelamariebee

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
I've never fully outgrown my weak spot for Kraft Dinner (my mom didn't feed it to us...but grandma did). I've also given it to my kids, which I suspect is a mistake. But, even though I'm not fond of jarred baby food, I can't imagine advising anyone to feed their child (of any age!) Kraft Dinner, in order to _avoid_ feeding them crap!

Exactly the point! DD has totally had Kraft on occasion (well not anymore due to her dairy sensitivity) and I wouldn't think that was a big deal. I just didn't get the whole "Kraft > Jarred food for a 7 month old" equation. Does not compute. lol


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## amberskyfire

Yet another!

I can hardly believe this happened. Today I took my 14-month-old to an event in town and she was riding in the Ergo on my back. This complete stranger walked up to my baby to say hi and she had this enormous cookie in her hand that she was eating. It was about half gone.

The woman smiles at my baby and then GAVE HER THE COOKIE. Ew! After she had been eating on it and the edges were wet and everything! I was just horror-struck. The woman seemed so nice and I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so I said "oh, I'm so sorry, she can't have that - she's allergic." I took it away from my daughter and gave it back to the woman.








uke


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## angelamariebee

Ewww!!


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## LuckyTrish

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
Yet another!

I can hardly believe this happened. Today I took my 14-month-old to an event in town and she was riding in the Ergo on my back. This complete stranger walked up to my baby to say hi and she had this enormous cookie in her hand that she was eating. It was about half gone.

The woman smiles at my baby and then GAVE HER THE COOKIE. Ew! After she had been eating on it and the edges were wet and everything! I was just horror-struck. The woman seemed so nice and I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so I said "oh, I'm so sorry, she can't have that - she's allergic." I took it away from my daughter and gave it back to the woman.








uke

That is so nasty!! Why do people DO things like that? You handled it so nicely! I'm sure I wouldn't have been as delicate in that situation!







:


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## Tari Mithrandir

uke

Ewww!
I also am not sure I could have handled that so well. I tend to go blank when stupid things happen/are said








Good job!


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## Tari Mithrandir

Alright, a good one...

My mother is very fond of "well, now you know what I went through with you!" and "It's nice to see that this comes back" whenever I tell her something DD has done/is doing (and never anything major either, just little stuff like being cranky or learning quickly (i.e. opening cabinets, etc)). She is a believer in the 7-fold theory.

Why can she not see, when complaining about my siblings, that she does the exact same thing to my granddad?







I feel like saying "Look mom! Your behaviour with your parents is coming back at you through your children!"


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## AFWife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tari Mithrandir* 
Alright, a good one...

My mother is very fond of "well, now you know what I went through with you!" and "It's nice to see that this comes back" whenever I tell her something DD has done/is doing (and never anything major either, just little stuff like being cranky or learning quickly (i.e. opening cabinets, etc)). She is a believer in the 7-fold theory.

Why can she not see, when complaining about my siblings, that she does the exact same thing to my granddad?







I feel like saying "Look mom! Your behaviour with your parents is coming back at you through your children!"

AHHH My parents do this crap all the time.


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## MG01

at whole foods i forgot our slings so was carrying my son 3 mos. in crook of one arm and pushing cart with other. he was really content and just taking everything in (believe me that is not always the case, he has his moments) but he was happy and i was happy. some lady said, what a "good" baby. i replied, "he's a happy guy right now," as i don't like the good/bad baby dichotomy- fussing or crying certainly doesn't mean he is bad, it means he is communicating a need or feeling. and she meant it as a compliment (or something) but i hate that implication. then she said something like, "you're training him well already." umm, what? i was shocked, i just stared blankly and walked away. i do not train him to do anything, just because he is happy and curious at the grocery store doesn't mean someone had to manipulate him to be that way.. ugh. then another lady said, "what a well behaved baby." god, he is a BABY, he doesn't "behave" and i do not have expectations of such. i wouldn't have been so bothered by the second comment if it hadn't come on the heels of the training comment, but really..


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## Lynn08

Another food one here.

At a family bbq yesterday and my aunt (one of the few ppl in the world I would have trusted _not_ to give dd food) spoon fed dd some baked bean juice (sauce, liquid, whatever it's called). I promptly "yelled" at my aunt (while making the formal announcement that no one was to give dd any food - this was the second time someone fed her something without my permission/knowledge







) and took dd away from her. Well, aunt just didn't understand why I was so upset because "she'll get it in a little while from you anyway".









So my aunt sees no difference between feeding a baby artificially flavored, super sweetened baked bean juice (at least it was the vegetarian kind







) and breast feeding that baby when the mother has eaten said baked beans.







:


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## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mama_Gaia* 
then another lady said, "what a well behaved baby." god, he is a BABY, he doesn't "behave" and i do not have expectations of such. i wouldn't have been so bothered by the second comment if it hadn't come on the heels of the training comment, but really..

Oh man, I was visiting family this weekend and you'd never believe how many times someone said this to me! AAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! I was about to lose my mind!

I was also told that by holding my baby (who had been sitting in the carseat all.day.long and was sick and tired of it and really just wanted mommy time) that I was spoiling him.

Aunt Ruth: Are you spoiling that baby?
Me: Of Course! Why wouldn't I? (being sarcastic...everyone knows baby's can't be spoiled)
Aunt Ruth: You're going to regret holding him so much, b/c in a few months he's going to want to be held all the time.
My boyfriend: Maybe she's right, we should put him in the highchair.
Me: No, I want to hold him. You don't have to!
MIL: You can't spoil a baby. He's fine.









I never thought I would say this but: Thank God for my MIL!!! She held and rocked him when I couldn't or was touched out, and told me that it was perfectly fine to hold him all the time. She also reminded my BF that when he was a baby she held him all the time and he didn't turn out spoiled.

Oh man. I should mention that Aunt Ruth is 94 and never had kids. Aunt Pat is in her 60's and also never had her own kids (but does have stepchildren, I have no idea how old they were when she married)

Another gem:
Me: Lincoln and BF are asleep, its about time they both got a really good nap in.
Aunt Pat: If he sleeps now will he sleep tonight?
Me: Oh yeah, its been a long weekend, and he has quite a bit of catching up to do on sleep.
about 3 hours later
Aunt Pat: Are they still sleeping?
Me: Yup, I'm so glad they're getting a long nap!
Aunt Pat: But will the baby sleep tonight if he sleeps now? You should wake him up!
Me: He'll sleep just fine tonight, I really don't want to disturb them.

Ugh...Lincoln is 4.5months right now! The more sleep the better! I also hate it when people assume that b/c he's quiet he's happy. He's not a screamer at all (when he does scream its major cause for alarm!), but he's not ALWAYS happy either, just quiet. I think my and my BF are the only ones that know when he's cranky.


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## tjjazzy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AFWife* 
My MIL said to me today (again, might I add) that I'm going to want to get a "carrier" (baby bucket) because he's going to keep getting big. I said, "For what?" and she replied, "For when you go out...like to restaurants. He's going to get too big to hold before he can sit up."

well, that's just silly b/c if they ARE big babies, they don't fit in the bucket car seats for long. my ds2 was out of his after Christmas (born end of September.) what would her suggestion be then? haha i'd like to know b/c the darn kid has always been squirmy.







he sits in a high chair now but at 4 months, when he started reaching for everything and rolling, sitting with him on my lap would not have been very easy! however, there's NOTHING wrong with him on your lap if he's not the grabby type! very odd indeed for her to worry over that.


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## tjjazzy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *angelamariebee* 
Exactly the point! DD has totally had Kraft on occasion (well not anymore due to her dairy sensitivity) and I wouldn't think that was a big deal. I just didn't get the whole "Kraft > Jarred food for a 7 month old" equation. Does not compute. lol

and at 7 months, wouldn't it be easy to choke on Kraft Dinner? my little guy is 8 months and he can't even handle Mum Mums or baby cookies or anything remotely solid. not to mention that most babies don't have dairy before they are a year old and there's all kinds of it added to KD....?


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## Kappa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tjjazzy* 
and at 7 months, wouldn't it be easy to choke on Kraft Dinner? my little guy is 8 months and he can't even handle Mum Mums or baby cookies or anything remotely solid. not to mention that most babies don't have dairy before they are a year old and there's all kinds of it *added to KD*....?

The preservatives and sodium alone make it inappropriate food. If you are going to give your kids mac and cheese at that age, buy some macaroni and cheddar, milk, and butter, and make mac and cheese! It's not that hard. Or at least buy the organic boxed kind not that scary neon orange powder stuff. They will get plenty of it when they get older, no need to push it on them so young.


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## tjjazzy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kappa* 
The preservatives and sodium alone make it inappropriate food. If you are going to give your kids mac and cheese at that age, buy some macaroni and cheddar, milk, and butter, and make mac and cheese! It's not that hard. Or at least buy the organic boxed kind not that scary neon orange powder stuff. They will get plenty of it when they get older, no need to push it on them so young.

no kidding! i'd much prefer jarred baby food!!


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## Harmony96

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kappa* 
buy some macaroni and cheddar, milk, and butter, and make mac and cheese! It's not that hard.

Well... it was hard for me. LOL. I tried to make some from scratch a couple of weeks ago, but was too lazy to look up a recipe, so I ended up with some hot milky butter w/ a big undissolvable lump of cheese and some cooked pasta in it. LOL.


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## 1littlebit

my FIL is always good for a few.

FIL: yeah he (DP) hit his sister and i smacked him good for that. then we found out later she provoked the whole thing.

me: you hit him because he hit someone? wheres the logic in that?

FIL: I'm the parent thats all the logic i need

me: yeah i guess you dont have to pass an intelligence test to procreate.

another time - Fil is big on the whole training thing.

FIL- you have to train them thats your job as parents

Me- hes a person not a golden retriever

FIL - thats your job you have to train him to behave your his parents

ME- yes, us , meaning not you... as in not your business

LATER ds is reaching for something from FIL

FIL- say please

DS cannot talk yet... he reaches and reaches and starts to cry.

me: he cant say please. he cant talk yet so just give it to him please.

FIL- no its my watch he cant have it

i get DS from him

ME - so you make him cry because you want to say a word he cant say to get something you have no intention of giving him? we have been through this. my kid, my rules if you don't like it you dont have to see him.

FIL: jeez relax

later FIL starts talking about training again. he looks at DP and then stops and says ' i should probably just shut up' Dp nods.

ME- see its never to late to teach an old dog new tricks!


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## 1littlebit

o and this one made me furious. MIL and FIL took ds out to lunch one day when i was sick he was 4 mos old. this was 12 months ago. he tells me last week that they couldnt get the carseat in right so they just tied it down. i about lost it. he was going on about how safe it was not realizing that he was lucky i wasnt armed. my MIL jumps in and says hes just kidding he likes to tease you. she was full of it.. she knows he is already on thin ice with me and she was worried i wouldnt let them see him at all. i am fine with her but hes not allowed to be alone with him ever. they dont babysit or anything because i dont trust him.

i know they tied that car seat in... i cant believe it.. they should not ahve told me it was fine if it wasnt. even thought it was over a year ago i was shaking when he told me.. the what ifs almost killed me. he talk about how they used to all pile in with out seat belts and then slam on the breaks for fun. i said they also used to regularly perform lobotomies but we don't to that anymore... to bad to.. i think he could use one.


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## Lynn08

So here's one that doesn't involve food.









My mother, who lives 3000 miles away and is out visiting for a few weeks, told the following story about my sister at the family bbq yesterday.

"Well at least your dd1 (referring to my niece) knows the difference between her left and her right. When S (my sister) was little, she never knew. There was one time when I was teaching her to drive and I said, "make a left turn here" and S cut across 3 lanes of traffic to make the _right_. I started yelling at her and finally reached across and grabbed her left hand. I held it up and said "LEFT. I said LEFT turn. This is your LEFT hand!" and I slammed her hand into the window so hard that she screamed.

I did that because her father fell out of a tree when he was 4 yrs old and broke his left wrist. And he always said that the only reason he knew his left from his right was because of the scar."








And she was so proud of herself, telling this story! (Yeah, we suffered a lot of abuse at her hands as children, and she has never seen anything wrong with any of it.







)

But the real kicker is that the entire story (except the part about my dad falling & breaking his wrist) was _a complete lie!!!!!_ My sister just looked at my mom like she had 3 heads and said "that never happened". Ugh, I'm really not sure if it's better or worse because my mother made it up. Thank god she lives so far away.


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## AspieMom

Mine son is 6 weeks old and I have already had some fun dealing with my MIL.
Asperger's/ADD/ADHD is hereditary on both sides of our family, so most of time she just doesn't realise what she is doing is inappropriate.

She has saved everything, so she has brought down a ton of stuff from the attic.
She wanted us to use my DH's car seat from 1984. A bunch of blankets and clothes. We said no to the clothes because they were brown with age, but I have caught her using the blankets w/out washing the first.

My BIL's 18th birthday/ graduation dinner. We were getting ready to leave for the restaurant, DS had been fairly colic-y all day and she was holding him for me. She feels and says "He feels warm, not like he has a fever, just a little warm. I am going to take him outside." I thought he was a little under dressed for going outside but the most he would be outside for was 2-3 minutes. He sneezed (he does it a lot) so she decided not to take him outside. We left a few minutes later, and I was very glad she didn't take him outside because it was a good 15 degrees cooler than I thought it was. When we got back after dinner, she was holding him some more, and walked outside with him w/out a socks or a blanket. It was cold at 7:30 and now it was almost 12pm. What's crazy is my MIL is always cold if it is less than 90 degrees outside and finds 110 degree day "perfect".

She tried to "help" me breastfeed when DS was 4 days old by twisting his head to get him to latch on.
Whenever she changes his diaper, she comes back with his clothes off or unsnapped. She also knew we were going to cloth diaper, and went to Costco and bought 2 -256 packs of diapers.

This one is just funny about how she doesn't listen. We were talking about when DS is going to start solids. We have decided on avocado, egg yolk or grass fed beef for first foods. My DH was joking about bacon being his first food, and I said "No, we are going with a different kind of meat, not bacon" MIL pipes in "Like apple or pear!" Everyone at the table laughed.

(I love my boys: Hubby, unrelated AP parent to a 4-year old, 6 week DS Technically UC Home Birth, Non-Vax, Non-Circ, cloth diaper, baby wearing, homeopathy, homeschool, Jesus- followers)


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## teale

Another gem from the inlaws:

FIL: Isn't there another spray park downtown?
Me: Yeah, but it's right on the edge of the main road, so it's not safe for kids, in my opinion.
MIL: Well, parents should WATCH their children
Me: Yeah, your right, but why take your kid somewhere if you are constantly going to have to say no?
MIL: That's part of being a parent.
Me: So, taking your child somewhere unsafe so you can say no, is part of being a parent?
MIL: Saying no is, and keeping them safe
Me: Right. So not taking a child to a spray park that is literally on a street corner would fall into that category of keeping them safe.
MIL: No.
Me: What?
MIL: No.
Me: Alright then.


----------



## angelamariebee

Quote:


Originally Posted by *teale* 
Another gem from the inlaws:

FIL: Isn't there another spray park downtown?
Me: Yeah, but it's right on the edge of the main road, so it's not safe for kids, in my opinion.
MIL: Well, parents should WATCH their children
Me: Yeah, your right, but why take your kid somewhere if you are constantly going to have to say no?
MIL: That's part of being a parent.
Me: So, taking your child somewhere unsafe so you can say no, is part of being a parent?
MIL: Saying no is, and keeping them safe
Me: Right. So not taking a child to a spray park that is literally on a street corner would fall into that category of keeping them safe.
MIL: No.
Me: What?
MIL: No.
Me: Alright then.

That reminds me of my mother (I think I posted this in here earlier) when she set up an unstable table with an antique lamp on it and told me to "just tell her no" if DD tried to climb on it. Umm, how about move the dangerous mess somewhere else?

FTR, the table ended up falling, and the lamp broke, when the CAT jumped on the table later. Way to go, mom!

ETA: If that logic actually worked we wouldn't need outlet covers, cabinet locks, doorknob covers, etc. We buy them because "no" doesn't always work! Besides the fact that I don't want to run around behind my child telling her "no" all day long. I'd like for her to actually have some freedom without worrying she is going to get hurt.


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *angelamariebee* 

ETA: If that logic actually worked we wouldn't need outlet covers, cabinet locks, doorknob covers, etc. We buy them because "no" doesn't always work! Besides the fact that I don't want to run around behind my child telling her "no" all day long. I'd like for her to actually have some freedom without worrying she is going to get hurt.

nak

and i'd like to get stuff done during the day and not have to shadow my child every second

eta: and doesn't that kind of thinking set them up for failure??


----------



## teale

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AFWife* 
nak

and i'd like to get stuff done during the day and not have to shadow my child every second

eta: and doesn't that kind of thinking set them up for failure??

Totally. I find the more I say no, the more our day degenerates into tears and frustration on both ends. I much prefer to take DS somewhere where I don't have to helicopter parent, where I know he can explore, be happy, and I'm not constantly signing or saying "no". It makes life better for both of us!


----------



## Mandynee22

Quote:


Originally Posted by *big-mama* 
Someone told DH "let the baby cry, its good for his lungs". He won't tell me who said it though. I think he is afraid I will chew out whoever said it and embarrass him. Its nauseating that some people believe this garbage.

A friend of mine (and her husband) would tell me that ALL THE TIME when Andrew was a baby. I tried to explain that that's just stupid and doesn't even make sense but it fell on deaf ears every time. They're also big fans of "if you keep co sleeping, he'll never leave your bed"... both their kids were in their bed until after 10 years because they kept trying to kick them out. My DD was out a little after three because she wanted to and DS will be ready when he's ready too.


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## amberskyfire

Just letting everyone know I started a new non-server-killing thread to replace this one here:

http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1093966








:


----------



## Wolfcat

Quote:


Originally Posted by *angelamariebee* 
Haha, this reminds me. When bringing DD home from the hospital, I wanted to take her out of the carseat and carry her into the house. We lived on the 16th floor of this huge apartment building. Anyway, DH said, "What if there are kids playing in the lobby and one runs into you? I think you shouldn't take her out of the carseat."

Whaa?? lol. Apparently it's not safe to carry newborns in your arms.

This reminds me of what happened about two years ago. We had a freeze and the ground was covered with ice.







I was carrying DS so he wouldn't slip.

I got to the handicap ramp at the street and slid all the way down it. I ended up landing really hard but I never let go of DS and he was fine (just a bit frightened).

I think that just proves that mother's arms can be the safest place for a child (barring high speed vehicular impact, of course







)


----------



## InMediasRes

Sorry, tired and dorky here, posting to the wrong thread.


----------



## Wolfcat

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Agatha_Ann* 
I met a woman recently at one of my kids activities. I was nursing DS3 and she was giving her two week old a bottle. She started to tell me that she couldn't breastfeed. Apparently she did with her first baby, but 6 weeks in, she woke up totally soaked in milk and she never made any more









Yesterday, I was in the grocery store and I had my baby in the sling. A lady stopped me and told me that she has a baby too, but its in the car







: I must have given her a strange look because then she said, "But my baby is a goat"







I guess she is going to make a sling for her goat now







It was funny.

I seriously would have asked "you gave birth to a goat!?!?"


----------



## Wolfcat

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kappa* 
The preservatives and sodium alone make it inappropriate food. If you are going to give your kids mac and cheese at that age, buy some macaroni and cheddar, milk, and butter, and make mac and cheese! It's not that hard. Or at least buy the organic boxed kind not that scary neon orange powder stuff. They will get plenty of it when they get older, no need to push it on them so young.

Last night I decided bug (DS - 3 1/2) had had enough stuff thrown at him this week, so we had a "picnic". Our picnics are a towel on the living room floor, bug's movie (educational songs), and food of his choice. He wanted hot dogs and mac'n'cheese. Not the best choice, but not the worst. So we went to the grocery store to get the stuff. It's been raining, sleeting and snowing for almost 36 hours. Bug told the checkout lady we were having a picnic and she said "I hope you aren't going outside to eat!"

Um, duh?
I can't entirely blame her though; some people in this town might be stupid enough to do just that.


----------

