# Most embarassing thing your dc said/did...



## dukeswalker (Feb 1, 2003)

I was talking to a friend this AM about what "wonderful" things our kids have said/done to embarass us...Her son, in the midst of potty training, decided while mom and dad were looking at the sinks in Home Depot that he had to "go" - Well, Lo and Behold, there were a bunch of perfectly nice pottys right there on the wall in front of him! So......my friend turns around just in time to see him baring all his goodies and using the potty lowest to the ground.









So I began thinking about my most embarrasing moment with one of my 3 kids - and I think it HAS to be when my ds was about 3 years old. We were shopping at Target and we kept bumping into the same nice lady. We ended up on the pool toy aisle and strated talking about how we were both having a pool party and needed some toys. My ds, so sweet, looks at her and says "I don't like brown people." Now, this woman was African American, my ds best friends were Indian and African American. I was MORTIFIED! All I could do was smile sheepishly and walk away....























To this day I have no idea where he even got that idea from....

So...what oh, so cute (I wish I could crawl under a rock) things has your dc done??


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## hippycrite (Jan 23, 2003)

Last year when my DD was 3 we went to Baltimore (we're in CA) to visit my MIL for the first time (so this may have been more embarrassing for me since this was the first time I'd met her, in all the years I've been with her son). She lives in an assisted-living apartment complex for seniors and is very socially active there. Of course she wanted to take DD around for her friends to see her only grandchild. So they went off for a little bit together. DD seemed okay with it, if not jumping for joy. The next day, my MIL wanted to take my daughter around again to meet some other friends, so she asked DD, "Do you want to go see my friends with me?" The reply was, "No Grandma, I don't like your friends." Ha!

Then MIL asks, "Do you like me?" (what kind of question is that to ask a 3 yo???). There was a long pause, during which I was holding my breath, but DD said, "Yes, Grandma, you and me are friends!"


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## Lisa Lubner (Feb 27, 2004)

our son took a squat under a table at our favorite restaurant once and loaded up his diaper... we noticed so we tried to pay pretty quickly to get out of there... before we made it out the door, a little turd rolled out of his pants and onto the carpet.


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## dukeswalker (Feb 1, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MomiEilis*
our son took a squat under a table at our favorite restaurant once and loaded up his diaper... we noticed so we tried to pay pretty quickly to get out of there... before we made it out the door, a little turd rolled out of his pants and onto the carpet.


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## kewb (May 13, 2005)

When my daughter was 3 she loved to tell anyone who would listen that her daddy is fat and sleeps in his underwear.


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## mamalisa (Sep 24, 2002)

When ds was about 2 1/2 we flew down to meet dh at a conference he was attending. When we got to the hotel, we met up with dh and some of his collegues. Ds was just learning to shake hands so when we introduced him, he reached out and shook one African-American man's hand. Then he proceeded to wipe his hand off on his pants and say, "I got some black on me." As I stood there thinking, "please let lightening hit me now" the man said, "that's my skin buddy, it doesn't come off." He handled it so well. The really crazy thing is, my best friend is Chinese, her boyfriend is black, our next door neighbors are Hispanic....he knew people of all colors! It wasn't as if he had never had any contact with people that weren't white. I just wanted to DIE.


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## Dragonfly (Nov 27, 2001)

When we're in public restrooms, ds likes to ask me (at top volume, of course), "DO YOU HAVE TO GO PEE OR POOP, MAMA?" And he asks until he gets an answer.

Oddly enough, he doesn't usually ask me this at home.


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## mahogny (Oct 16, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dragonfly*
When we're in public restrooms, ds likes to ask me (at top volume, of course), "DO YOU HAVE TO GO PEE OR POOP, MAMA?" And he asks until he gets an answer.









DH told me a similar story about DS, and I crack up just thinking about it.

About a year and a half ago, DH took DS to Target. Well, DH felt the urge, so he and DS headed to the restroom. DS was in the stall with DH, and as soon as DS figured out what was going on, he loudly announed to the rest of the people in the restroom, "Daddy's pooping!"

Holy cow, it took me 10 minutes just to type that because I kept cracking up!


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## fyoosh (May 9, 2005)

DS was slowpoking all morning one day and was going to be late for preschool (this was a few weeks ago)... well, I wasn't going to work until later on that day, and so I figured I would shower and brush my teeth once I got home, because there was no way we'd make it on time if I did beforehand. So we get to his school and as I am carrying him into the class, I go to give him a kiss and he scrunches up his face something fierce and screams, "MOMMY! YOU DON'T SMELL GOOD!!!!!"








:


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## UnschoolnMa (Jun 14, 2004)

My Ds at around 3 or so busted out into a song of all kinds of swear words once when my Dad, brother and his girlfriend came to visit.

I once had to go into the mens restroom at a dept store because Ds was needing my help. He swore he only had to pee, but ended up doing more and screaming "Mom, I need you to wipe my butt!" I had no man with me and had to go in. I screamed before I went in that I was coming in (I'd been right outside the door) and just as I entered some guy turned around to face with me with his bits out. I saw that guy everywhere for weeks too. lol


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## DarkHorseMama (Mar 8, 2003)

Scenario: DH, DD (nearly 4 at the time), DS (18 months) and I went to South Africa this summer to visit family. We are 19 hours into a 20 flight. HUGE 747 airplane full of people restlessly fidgeting at the end of an extremely long trip. We have started descent and started to hit a few turbulence bumps on the way down. At one point, we hit a pocket and dropped briefly before levelling back out (nothing really new for those who have done a fair amount of air travel).

DH leaned over to DD and asked quietly, "Did you feel that in your stomach when we dropped?" She said, rather loudly, "No! I felt it in my VAGINA!"









Much giggling around us.


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## dukeswalker (Feb 1, 2003)

Oh I LOVE thse stories!!!





















Just what I needed this early in the AM....


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## meowmix (Jul 14, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dragonfly*
When we're in public restrooms, ds likes to ask me (at top volume, of course), "DO YOU HAVE TO GO PEE OR POOP, MAMA?" And he asks until he gets an answer.

Oddly enough, he doesn't usually ask me this at home.









My daughter asks me this, too! And then says "Good job!" and claps. She does the good job, at home, too.

My most embarrassing moment was at a ChickFila. My son was potty training but had gone poop in a diaper at the restaraunt because we put him in diapers when we went out. We're horribly scatterbrained and had forgotten the diaper bag so just took the diaper off, cleaned him up and put his shorts back on him. We figured he'd tell us when he had to go again. Well, he is playing on the playground there and all these older kids, maybe 6 and 7 are playing there, too. Suddenly they are all making a commotion at the top of the playstructure. They're exclaiming "There's POOP up here!" and they're all gathered around it pointing at it. One kid comes down and says "That little boy pooped on the playground!" Sure enough, Trevor had pooped again and with no diaper, the poop had just plopped out of his shorts onto the playstructure. I was mortified because these other boys wouldnt leave it alone and their parents had to practically drag them off the equiptment. I told the manager and then this old man janitor guy went in to clean it up. I have not been back to that ChickFila and this was almost 2 yrs ago!

And I think my most humourous one was when Trevor and I were shopping at Whole Foods. We are in line waiting to pay and Trevor like breaks into this Hip hop song and dance routine. He's 4. He loves Beastie Boys, but can't keep up with the lyrics, so when he imitates them he mostly just sings rhyming nonsense words in a hiphoppy/rap type fashion. So we're standing in line and Trevor is dancing and singing very loudly and everyone around us is watching him. Even the cashier near us quit working to watch Trevor. I am trying not to squelch his creativity and so am just letting him be. Finnally I bend down and say quietly "Maybe you might like to sing a little more quietly?" so he stops singing, leans exaustedly against the cart and, in this hugely exaggerated gesture he puts his hand up and brushes "sweat" off his forehead and says "Mommy, that wore me out!" Everyone around us laughed. I wasn't really embarrased, but, well, ok, I was a little!


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## joandsarah77 (Jul 5, 2005)

Quote:

the poop had just plopped out of his shorts onto the playstructure








:







:

I have a few, but nothing so mortifying as that.









My dh has his own locksmith security buisness so we get clients coming to the house all the time. One time a security alarm guy is there discusing things with dh and Sarah comes up and says 'You have a large tummy' pause 'Is there a baby in there?'
Then last week we are coming out of a eatery and we see a large woman we know casualy. So imediatly my dd goes up puts her hand flat on this ladies stomach and says 'Do you have a baby in there'?







she is ever hopful sombody will have a baby in there!

As to the public toilet yep she often says loudly 'Mummy your making peepee's?'


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## USAmma (Nov 29, 2001)

My toddler had a diarrhea blowout on the white carpet of someone who invited us for a playdate. Twice. That same day my *four year old* pooped in their swimming pool!! There were bits floating around in the pool!! I had to hose her down on the side of the house. She said she was having too much fun and didn't want to get out to use the bathroom.


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## broodymama (May 3, 2004)

This happened when my cousin, who is now 21, was about 3 years old...

We were visiting a pet store that had a display of big cats (tigers, leopard, etc.) in cages outside the store. We were looking at the cats and my cousin was screeching (as only a 3 y.o. girl can) "KITTY KITTY KITTY!" at the top of her lungs. A leopard that was pacing by the front of his cage stopped, looked at her and then SPRAYED HER! She just stood their screaming and getting peed on while the rest of us looked on in shock.

Boy, that was one smelly ride home!


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## Balanced Mama (May 31, 2005)

These stories are hillarious!

I once heard that you should tell your children the correct names for everything. And since my kids tend to find all sorts of things in our house, they learned a lot of names. Unfortunately, my son, who was about eighteen months at the time, was terrified of a large, white, noisy, cylinder-shaped heater at a friend's house. When I asked him what was wrong, he said, "Big scary tampon!" To him, that was the shape of the heater. The older kids thought it was hillarious.


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## homemademomma (Apr 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *USAmma*
My toddler had a diarrhea blowout on the white carpet of someone who invited us for a playdate. Twice. That same day my *four year old* pooped in their swimming pool!! There were bits floating around in the pool!! I had to hose her down on the side of the house. She said she was having too much fun and didn't want to get out to use the bathroom.









yikes!


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## pickle it (May 16, 2004)

Balanced Mama: I've known a few adult men who never outgrew their fear of the scary big white tampon!


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## Ginasmom (Dec 2, 2003)

My sister and I spend a lot of time together and our children are practically siblings, well her 2.5yr ds was getting his diaper changed and asked if my 2yr dd needed to come watch, his mom politely said "No I don't think Gina needs to watch you get your diaper changed" He quickly replied "Well yesterday she was watching and I think she was looking at my scrotum" LOL!


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## annekevdbroek (Jun 5, 2005)

These stories are so funny! My son hasn't quite gotten to saying embarassing things (no doubt its coming, he's 28 months now - just a matter of time).

The most embarassing thing I can think of was when my MIL and I went to a friend's house for dinner. We were sitting in the living room and my son (9 months old or so) grunts and toots while sitting on my lap. Or so I think. I tilt him forward and realize that he's had a major diaper leak on the back of his shirt. I think it was at least 3 or 4 day supply of poo, given his schedule at the time.

I stood up with the intent of going to clean up him up.... Only to discover that most of the poo is all over the front of my shirt, the front of my pants from waist to ankle, and still running downhill. I immediately jumped onto the tile and started scooting towards the laundry room (which is open to the rest of the house). I ended up taking all my son's clothes off and stripping myself down to my underwear.... I went home in borrowed purple plaid jammie pants and an old t-shirt. At least I had an extra outfit for my son in the car. My MIL was laughing so hard she could hardly help rinse the poo off.


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## sahli29 (Jan 23, 2004)

***


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## Balanced Mama (May 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pickle it*
Balanced Mama: I've known a few adult men who never outgrew their fear of the scary big white tampon!









Ha! Isn't that the truth?


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## dukeswalker (Feb 1, 2003)

Oh! I thought of one other thing....When my sds was about 4 we were out shopping with my mom over the Thanksgiving weekend (the store was PACKED!). My mom had eaten something that gave her *gas* - and she had passed something silently while browsing through the racks. My ds smells it and apparently must have heard it too and shouts at the top of his lungs. "Pee YEW! Grandma you tooted - BAD!!" I can't even tell you the color of my moms face or the way everyone around her tried to stifle their grins while slowly scooting away....

OH! And here is one my younger brother did. WHen he was about 3 we were all in the checkout line of the grocery store. Apparently, he had goten an erection and decided to tell his mom this. "Mommy, my pee-pees all hard." She tells him "shhhhh" which of course leads to him saying it louder and louder, "MOMMY! MY PEE PEE IS ALL HARD AND BIGGER!!"


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## Karennnnn (Jan 2, 2002)

Hmmm...
Probably not as good as any of these but I'll list the few I remember as I'm reading what you all have written.
While I was pregnant I loved wearing dh's underwear because it was way more comfortable than mine. Once in circle time a few of the kids were talking at ds's preschool. DS just says in casual conversation that I wear his dad's underwear and then the other little girl is all "Yeah, my mom wears my dad's boxers". So it wasn't too bad, but geez!!!
As far as pooping in weird places, ds at about 2 years of age pooped while we were in a bakery in China Town (in NYC). He just goes over to the corner, squats down and does it. He was still in diapers, but my gawd, there was no where to change a poo diaper and we were about a half hour subway ride away from where we needed to be. When we exited the store, I kind of instinctively went in there with a big wad of napkins and took out the turd and threw it into the trash. I was thankful that it was turd poo lol!!!
DS also likes to talk loudly in public restrooms, so we've been there done that








Anyway, mine are boring, but this is my way of subscribing to the thread lol!


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## Karennnnn (Jan 2, 2002)

Oh I forgot one--Beastie Boys from above reminded me of this.
We were at a Christmas party and dh and I were in another room, but ds was talking to my best friend's mom. He announces to her how he likes the Beastie Boys, especially the song when they say "In the f******ing house". Just casually in conversation like they're two adults talking about musical taste. You just worry about what people think of you after things like that!!


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## babybugmama (Apr 7, 2003)

Dd has always seemed to have an affinity for larger women. In fact she says she wants to grow up to be just like one of her aunts, who is on the larger side.

One time we are in the grocery store and she sees a larger woman. In a Loud voice, s he says, admiringly, "Mommy, she has a BIG butt." I turned ten shades of scarlet. How do you explain to a three year old that some people may not understand her admiring tones and may have hurt feelings?


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## homeschoolmommyof1 (Mar 15, 2004)

I am laughing so hard that I am sitting on the couch crying







"
I usually do not stop by this thread but I saw the headline and was curious.

When ds was about 4 yr he embarrased my dh and me to no end.
Every ones in a while we take showers together ( dh and myself)...well, we had taken a shower together that fatefull day and thought that ds was still asleep in his bed....wroooong.
The phone rang and we were going to let it ring but after a couple rings it stopped and we heard our sweet 4 yr old telling whoever was on the other end : "No, my daddy is in the shower with mommy again and that can take a while"...click,








After getting out of the shower and rushing to the phone to see who he told that to- we found out that it was my hubbies Commander ( he was in the sercive at the time).....everytime after that his Commander gave me a big grin when he saw me


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## BumbleBena (Mar 18, 2005)

These are GREAT!









Ok, I don't have kids yet, but we spend a lot of time with my little nephew. When he was about 18mos, DP and I took him to Chili's for lunch. He didn't have much interest in food, mostly just Cheerios, so we had packed a small box for him. He decided soon after the food arrived that he'd had enough Cheerios and started to throw them on the floor. DP said, "Food is not for playing with. You must be finished eating" and put the cereal away. DN didn't much seem to care, he just picked some food off my plate anyway. Soon after, I took him in the bathroom to change his diaper while DP settled the check, and upon our return to the table, I noticed what a mess we'd made. I set down DN and started to clean up, and when DP returned he asked me, "Where's the baby?" For some reason I thought DP had him. Nope! So we start looking around for DN, and I'm on the verge of tears, thoroughly ashamed at my own irresponsibility, when I hear a tiny sound coming from under the table.

Yup, DN was down there. Eating the Cheerios he'd thrown on the floor.


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## Pandora114 (Apr 21, 2005)

We were in the pharmacy behind a larger lady and DD about ooh 15 months at the time started going MOOOO MOOOOO MOOOO real loudly I was mortified..I know she probably wasn't talking about the lady but I was still embarrased.

Now it's the "This is my bum and it goes PFFFFFFPPPPPTTTT"


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## Clarinet (Nov 3, 2005)

I was in a store a few weeks ago and a heavy woman passed by us carrying a baby. My three year old said, rather loudly, "that's a BIG lady!" Thinking fast, I replied, "Yes, it's a big baby, isn't it?" She looked at me like I was stupid and said, even louder, "I said big LAAAADY!"


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## becoming (Apr 11, 2003)

I was sitting in the recliner in my living room in my bra and panties, having just gotten out of the shower, and remembered something I needed to tell my ex-DH (my DS's father). I had called him and was leaving a message on his voicemail when my son pointed at my panties and said VERY LOUDLY, "Mama, you have POOP on your PANTIES!!!" My panties were red and brown polka dotted, and there just happened to be a big brown polka dot right in the crotch area. So I'm sure my ex-DH had a big laugh when he got THAT voicemail.









This is not really embarrassing, just hilarious: My sister and I were getting my niece (4) and my DS (3 1/2 at the time) ready for a bath together. My niece, Elizabeth, took her shirt off, put her hands on her hips, stuck her chest waaay out, and said, "Chase, how do you like my BOOBIES?" My son looks at her and goes, "Those aren't boobies. Those are NICKELS." My sister and I giggled, and my sister tells him, "Chase, it's NIPPLES." My DS says, "That's what I said. NICKELS."


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## fyoosh (May 9, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *becoming*
...son looks at her and goes, "Those aren't boobies. Those are NICKELS." My sister and I giggled, and my sister tells him, "Chase, it's NIPPLES." My DS says, "That's what I said. NICKELS."









My son used to call them nickels too!!! Now he uses that, and sometimes mickles and others mipples.

One day he picked up a shirt of mine -- it was one of those camis with a built in bra, the kind that are molded, you can almost stand them upright -- he put it on and thrust out his chest and said "MOMMY! My mickles are STRRRRONG!!!







"


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## jake&zaxmom (May 12, 2004)




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## root*children (Mar 22, 2004)

ROTFLMAO!!!!





















:

I'm wiping tears over here! These are way too funny!

We raised our oldest son in a very rural town in Colorado, where there were probably 5 black people in the entire town (which we didn't know!). We went to visit my mom in Omaha, and went shopping. The fitting room attendant was black, and Clay asked, "Why does she have that mask on??" oy! Take it from me, NOT fun to have to explain to someone in a huge city why your child has never seen a black person before!







I'm sure she thought we lived under a rock!


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## mamachandi (Sep 21, 2002)

I though this was cute:
when my dd was about 5 she asked my dh (we have alot of friends of many races/colors)"daddy when will my skin turn darker?"


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## mamachandi (Sep 21, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *homeschoolmommyof1*







I am laughing so hard that I am sitting on the couch crying







"
I usually do not stop by this thread but I saw the headline and was curious.

When ds was about 4 yr he embarrased my dh and me to no end.
Every ones in a while we take showers together ( dh and myself)...well, we had taken a shower together that fatefull day and thought that ds was still asleep in his bed....wroooong.
The phone rang and we were going to let it ring but after a couple rings it stopped and we heard our sweet 4 yr old telling whoever was on the other end : "No, my daddy is in the shower with mommy again and that can take a while"...click,








After getting out of the shower and rushing to the phone to see who he told that to- we found out that it was my hubbies Commander ( he was in the sercive at the time).....everytime after that his Commander gave me a big grin when he saw me































: :nana:














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## boston (Nov 20, 2001)

Two most embarassing things my dd has ever said:

1. on a train from NYC to Boston, people were lined up at a stop next to where dd (then 2), my ex, and I were sitting, waiting for the doors to open. And dd randomly says MY PAPA IS A MAN AND HE HAS A BIG, DISGUSTING PENIS! (scrunched up face for emphasis)

2. Age 1.75 from her stroller as we pass a jogging, topless, and very obese man, she hollers (admiringly): YOOK, MAMA! THAT MAN HAVE BIIIIIG BOOOBIES!!!


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## 1xmom (Dec 30, 2003)

When my dd was three she went threw a phase where she meowed like a cat all the time. Well one evening my sister and her kids (who are teenagers) went out to dinner with us to a Chinese restaurant. All of a sudden out of nowhere my dd decided to act like a cat and kept meowing. Some of the patrons just looked at us, I was sooo embarrassed.







My sister and her kids were cracking up laughing.


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## Carolinamidwife (Dec 18, 2001)

I'm loving this thread.

When ds was just two my Dad died and we were in the car on the way home from the memorial service in a car packed with funeral goers, family friends, etc... Well, a car passed us and little ds raises his tiny fist, shakes it, and says, "Slow down, a**hole!"
I sat quietly, hoping no one would notice. Of course, everyone did and cracked up.

And then just about a year ago we were in a big teaching supply store on a super crowded saturday when ds, then 5, found the giant map rug in the middle of the store. He stands on Florida and shouts at full volume: "LOOK MOM! I'M STANDING ON AMERICA'S WANG!!!" Dh and I nearly died.


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## chiedza (Nov 8, 2002)

One day recently my DS (3) and I were discussing the differences between the male and female anatomy. He seemed quite interest in the word "vulva," but after the conversation was over moved on to other things.

A few days later we were at the playground and he was pretending a small window in the play structure was a food counter, yelling out: "Who wants pizza? Who wants ice cream? Who wants vulvas?" Don't know where he got the idea that was food, but I cleared that one up right away!


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## Carolinamidwife (Dec 18, 2001)

LOL!!! Vulvas.

That reminds me of when ds was about 2.5 we were somewhere... at a restaurant, I can't recall. He looks at me and says, "Boys have a penis, girls have a wedgie." Apparently I had been complaining too often about having a wedgie and he got confused, lol.

Oh, and once, I was in my therapists waiting room (of all places) and it was pretty crowded which was rare. He looks at me and gets this dreamy look in his eyes and says in a little three year old Elvis voice: "You got big boobs, mom."


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## Mommy!Mommy!Mommy! (Sep 15, 2005)

There was a time when my b&g twins were three we were discussing anatomies. After much discussion, later that day we got on the crowded elevator....with a clear voice "Mommy?







You have a vagina! Daddy has a penis! Bumpy has a vagina, Goobbie (6 at the time) is a penis and I have a penis too! His sister turned to point at every one and say Penis, vagina (talk about gender assignment!) I was mortified and ready to say that's right and leave it alone. DS7 was not, didn't like being called a penis.. made sure everyone in the elevator knew it. "Mommy, tell him I am not a penis, people can't be penises or vaginas, they Have them. "Goobbie is a penis, goobbie is a penis! Mommy!!! when the 21st floor came I slunk out of there, kids in tow still discussing the issue. The door barely closed before the giggling started.


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## Mommy!Mommy!Mommy! (Sep 15, 2005)

We were in Swiss Chalet and DH takes DS to the bathroom. While there DH thought he could let out a quite bit of gas. Wrong. Sitting down with DD2 & DS2 I plainly here from the bathroom. "Man, Daddy, you should check your shorts!" After about FIVE minutes they come out with DS walking out loudly proclaiming "Mommy, Daddy's Butt Reeks!" (between you and me, DS was probably right!!!) lol


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## dukeswalker (Feb 1, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mommy!Mommy!Mommy!*
We were in Swiss Chalet and DH takes DS to the bathroom. While there DH thought he could let out a quite bit of gas. Wrong. Sitting down with DD2 & DS2 I plainly here from the bathroom. "Man, Daddy, you should check your shorts!" After about FIVE minutes they come out with DS walking out loudly proclaiming "Mommy, Daddy's Butt Reeks!" (between you and me, DS was probably right!!!) lol

I love this ONE!!!


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## chiedza (Nov 8, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sheena*
He looks at me and says, "Boys have a penis, girls have a wedgie." Apparently I had been complaining too often about having a wedgie and he got confused, lol.

LOL! My DS likes to complain about wedgies, too. For a while he couldn't remember how to say it though, so he would ask, "Mama, do I have a wedgie or a veggie?"


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## G&B'sMama (Mar 25, 2005)

I am going to get in trouble here at work for reading this thread and laughing so hard.

My DD had her loud talking years too. Once we were in a Jo-anne craft store and all of a sudden I felt all crampy and clammy and had a sudden urge to go to the bathroom. I had eaten something bad at a potluck at work and had some food poisoning. The thing was I was feeling fine and then it just hit me and I was so sick. So I ran to the bathroom with 2 ½ year old DD in tow and made it just in time to get to the toilet. After a minute or so DD starts making these gagging noises and says "Mama, that's a big stinky poo-poo" over and over again really loudly. The bathroom was in the back right next to where a scrapbooking class was going on. I could hear every word they were saying. I am trying to shush her and she starts saying "I want out, its too stinky in here, help me get out help me!" Of course I was mortified, but I was really, really sick. Then someone came to the door and asked if everything was all right. I never went into that Jo-anne again.

Another time, DD went to spend the night at my SIL's house. She was three and at the time was horribly afraid of drains, so she hated taking baths. Well, SIL has a sheep ranch and they were out all day getting dirty. After dinner, SIL tried to put her in to the bath and DD told her "My mom said I can't take a bath at your house because the bathtub is too dirty!" When I heard this story I just about died of embarrassment.


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## OakBerry (May 24, 2005)

My ds will call me on it if I fart in a store or public place..

If he smells a fart or a bad smell anywhere, he will yell "It sninks (his word for stinks) in here"!

When he was much younger he would point to any man in the vicinity and say "Daddy"! One time he kept saying it to the teenage boy bagging groceries at the supermarket, and the kid was purple with embarrassment. I wasn't that embarrassed (used to it by now) but I felt bad for the teenager, and was trying not to laugh for his sake!


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## mamachandi (Sep 21, 2002)

:







: oh my god I am dying....

Quote:


Originally Posted by *G&B'sMama*
I am going to get in trouble here at work for reading this thread and laughing so hard.

My DD had her loud talking years too. Once we were in a Jo-anne craft store and all of a sudden I felt all crampy and clammy and had a sudden urge to go to the bathroom. I had eaten something bad at a potluck at work and had some food poisoning. The thing was I was feeling fine and then it just hit me and I was so sick. So I ran to the bathroom with 2 ½ year old DD in tow and made it just in time to get to the toilet. After a minute or so DD starts making these gagging noises and says "Mama, that's a big stinky poo-poo" over and over again really loudly. The bathroom was in the back right next to where a scrapbooking class was going on. I could hear every word they were saying. I am trying to shush her and she starts saying "I want out, its too stinky in here, help me get out help me!" Of course I was mortified, but I was really, really sick. Then someone came to the door and asked if everything was all right. I never went into that Jo-anne again.

Another time, DD went to spend the night at my SIL's house. She was three and at the time was horribly afraid of drains, so she hated taking baths. Well, SIL has a sheep ranch and they were out all day getting dirty. After dinner, SIL tried to put her in to the bath and DD told her "My mom said I can't take a bath at your house because the bathtub is too dirty!" When I heard this story I just about died of embarrassment.


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## mamachandi (Sep 21, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *OakBerry*

When he was much younger he would point to any man in the vicinity and say "Daddy"! One time he kept saying it to the teenage boy bagging groceries at the supermarket, and the kid was purple with embarrassment. I wasn't that embarrassed (used to it by now) but I felt bad for the teenager, and was trying not to laugh for his sake!

















:







:


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## Pandora114 (Apr 21, 2005)

My DD also has these plastic balls for a ball pit type toy my parents got her one time for Christmas, she took them up to me and said "Lick my balls mummy!"

or how's this one

taking a picture with my parents after the whole wedding ceremony, my DD farted, and my mom is like "Oh did Papa fart" and my DD is like "NO! BABY FARTED!" all proud.


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## minkajane (Jun 5, 2005)

I have a story from when I was little.

I was probably about 6. I had picked up somewhere that French people kiss on both cheeks when they say goodbye. We went to a family gathering at my mamaw's house and I told my uncle about what I had learned. When he went to leave that evening, I shouted "Uncle Greg, give me a French kiss!" Everyone looked shocked, but he just laughed and kissed my cheeks. Once everyone figured it out, they all cracked up.

When my brother was little, he couldn't make the TR sound. He would pronounce it F. Once, in church, he looked out the window and started yelling "truck, truck!" My mom was MORTIFIED that her son was shrieking obsenities in church.


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## FuzzyOne (May 3, 2005)

these stories are so funny! oddly, i can't wait to see how my 4.5 mos old manages to embarrass me


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## keeksmom (Jan 21, 2003)

At around age 3 my dd fixated on the word "penis". She just enjoyed saying it. One day, riding in the shopping cart, she loudly announced to the checkout person and everyone else in line, "My mommy has a PENIS!".


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## Momtwice (Nov 21, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chiedza*
he was pretending a small window in the play structure was a food counter, yelling out: "Who wants pizza? Who wants ice cream? Who wants vulvas?"









:

Quote:

We were looking at the cats and my cousin was screeching (as only a 3 y.o. girl can) "KITTY KITTY KITTY!" at the top of her lungs. A leopard that was pacing by the front of his cage stopped, looked at her and then SPRAYED HER! She just stood their screaming and getting peed on while the rest of us looked on in shock.
If that leopard could talk she would have said DON'T CALL ME KITTY!


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## AndiG (Mar 3, 2005)

not embarrassing but darn funny.... We went to Chicago with the kids, my bil and another couple when Dd was just about 26 months. She wasn't terribly clear with her words and ended up prouncing truck as cock. Well the other couple, Jamie and Lisa, rented a red suv for the trip. When we were driving to the zoo we got lost and they had to follow us out of downtown Chicago during the city wide marathon. Charlotte spent the entire time asking us where Jamie's big red cock was and when would she see it again?









bil, dh and I were the only ones in the vehicle (other than our two kids ) and were having a hard time not laughing ourselves sick over the cock comments.


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## ryleeee (Feb 9, 2005)

Quote:

MY PAPA IS A MAN AND HE HAS A BIG, DISGUSTING PENIS! (scrunched up face for emphasis)

Quote:

"LOOK MOM! I'M STANDING ON AMERICA'S WANG!!!" Dh and I nearly died.

Quote:

He looks at me and gets this dreamy look in his eyes and says in a little three year old Elvis voice: "You got big boobs, mom."

Quote:

I am trying to shush her and she starts saying "I want out, its too stinky in here, help me get out help me!"

Quote:

"Lick my balls mummy!"










i seriously haven't laughed this hard in awhile.


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## Nathan1097 (Nov 20, 2001)

These are too funny!

I have my own recent story, actually.

Maybe a month or so ago, I took my three kids- ages 4, 6, and 8- to the mall. We'd stopped in the center by the fountain and gotten Starbucks- a coffee,some milks and cookies. After a few minutes of sitting at the table right next to a short wall of the fountain, my youngest says he has to go to the bathroom. So I start gathering up the cookies and such and turn around to see Noah (4), standing on the side of the fountain like one of those little statues peeing!!!














My 8-year-old notices and covers his face, saying "I'm SOOOOO embarassed!!!" I was laughing my you-know-what off! And!.... Nobody else seemed to noticed but us! After I got Noah down, I said something to him. His remark? "Its water...."







I guess he has a point- its better than the carpet.


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## Ceinwen (Jul 1, 2004)

I haven't read the whole thread...

But my most embarassing toddler moment was a very formal dinner with my grandparents, and Zoe belted out...

"MY BAGINA IS SOOOO ITCHY!!!!"

And proceeded to scratch like she had fleas down there.
























That one is going down in history.


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## angela&avery (May 30, 2002)

These are great.

The other day I dropped my 4 and 2 year old with my brother and his wife (they dont have kids) for an hour while i went to a pampered chef party my mil was having. It was in the evening so I had brought jammies and they changed the kids while they were there. So my 4 year old ds looks at them while changing and says, "I have a penis. Hey Uncle ****, why dont you show Aunt **** your penis?" I almost died...... my brother was like... I didnt know what to say to that?? Lucky for me they are not not conservative, tho they are older than we are, so they thought it was pretty funny. Later on I asked ds why he said that and he said "because I wanted Aunt ***** to laught at him"....... ok..... nice sense of humor huh?


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## angela&avery (May 30, 2002)

OH and here is a truly embarrassing moment, I was mortified. We were in church last spring and the have young disciples time when the kids go up front and our pastor talks to them. She was talking to them about monsters and how you can pray (i forget how she related it now) and she asked what you can do when you are afraid of monsters. so my ds, he was 3 at the time, says "you can shoot monsters with guns!"







, i was so embarrassed. This is coming from a child who does not watch anything violent, does not own a gun!!! I didnt even know he knew what a gun was!!! so the pastor was great and just kind of kept talking, so he SAYS IT AGAIN! LOUDER!!! (luckily everyone giggled.... a nervous giggle?) I could have died. After church I was like, I guess I need to have a little talk with Avery, and our pastor was like, oh no, its everywhere, you cant prevent them from learning about that stuff, she was really great. After church we talked about the whole thing and I was like... we dont talk about guns and shooting in church!!!


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## mammafish78 (Jun 9, 2005)

OMG THIS IS MY TOPIC!

i am very close to my cousin. she had a dd when i was in 8th grade. we were always together so im going to share some of the things she has done to embaris me.

for some reason if she saw hair some place other than on your head she called it grass....and if you ask her where her butt is she would point to her vagina.....oh yeah my nickname has always been pickle....with that said...
i took her into the bathroom stall with me in the mall after standing in line for what seemed like forever. i pull down my pants to pee and she starts screaming at the top of her lungs "hey pickle you have grass on your butt!"

we were eating out (my cousin and her dd). while in the middle of conversation, she yells out as loud as she could "MAMMA MAMMA DO YOU WANT A PENIS?"

while waiting for a friend to get off work or go on break, one of her coworkers came to talk to me. my little cousin said "HEY LADY, YOUR TEETH ARE STICKING OUT!" i told her "shhh, dont say that" and she yells "BUT PICKLE HER TEETH ARE STICKING OUT!" the lady got up and left i think i was 16 or 17 and didnt know what to do or say because the ladies teeth _were_ sticking out, she was really buck toothed. she was just stating the truth..

still on my little cousin..

she ran up to this man (very obese) and told him "WOW YOU ARE SO STRONG"
i was just thanking my lucky stars she didnt say fat.

now my son got me the other night, he has learned from daycare to stick out his butt, bounce it up and down and say "Na Na Na Na Naaaaaa!"

i was hosting a pampered chef party and levi went potty (poop) and ran into the middle of the room, infront of all the ladies saying "na na na na naaaa" sticking his dirty butt, bouncing it up and down.


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## mattjule (Nov 6, 2003)

dh is going to kill me for this but....

dh was drying himself off after taking a shower and ds1 comes into the bathroom. He takes a look at his dad, touches his dad's penis and says, "It's small." Looks at dh's face and adds "it's beautiful".


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## Kristine233 (Jul 15, 2003)

OMGosh you girls have me crackign up... I'll add mine...

Back when I had just 2 kiddos I was trying to check out at the grocery store by myself. I was paying the cashier and I suddenly hear a little girl singing over the intercom. Thinking "Ah how cute" then realizing its MY child I turn around and see my DD crouched next to the counter with the mic thing from the adjacent cashier register.

My MIL was watching the kiddos and Jo was about 3 or 4... MIL farted and said "Joscey, did you toot?" (totally kidding with her) she says "No, I fart and MINE stink!"

While I was pregnant with Mackie I had the kids at work with me (they always came to work with me) and one of my assistants was an overweight woman. Jo happily tells the gal "My mom has a baby in her tummy.. see?" Then goes on to say "Wow, you must have a really big baby in there!"

Jo (again) embarrassed just me when we were toilet training her. I was trying to tell her she only needed to use a little toilet paper to wipe her butt because she had a little butt. (She always had used a TON). I should have phrase that differently in hind sight. I go to show her and grab some toilet paper... She tells me "Oh mama, you are gonna need a LOT more than that!!" Dh thinks it hillarious to retell this one on a regular basis years later.

Strangely all of my embarrassing stories are with JO. My other 2 havent embarrassed me too badly yet.


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## redhotmama (Nov 7, 2005)

Thanks for the laughs, I have one to add
The other day my dd is at the neighbor's house and they are discussing what they will do when they grow up. DD says, "When I grow up I'm going to get married!" Our neighbor, a 4.5 year old boy replies, "When I grow up I'm going to bang my head against the wall until I pass out and fall on the floor!"


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## scatterbrainedmom (May 31, 2005)

OMG!! That last one had me in tears (lol, I almost wrote teats







).

Last night me and dh where at a tree lighting with our 3 boys. ds1, 4years, says that he had some hair on his teetee. It is crowded, likethiscrowded, and we always say penis, so I am assuming that it was not that area so it was safe to talk about amongst a thousand folks. he tells me AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS that it was a hair on his penis and he pulled it out because he don't want no hair on his penis like daddy. We left right after. I am still giggling about it







. dh did not think it was funny at all though.


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## LadyMarmalade (May 22, 2005)

According to my nephew rabbits don't bounce, they go 'wang wang wang wang wang'. And I bet you never knew that the noise a helicopter makes is 'fuckafuckafuckafuckafucka' (I didn't know that either until my son told me in a very crowded grocery shop).


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## Karennnnn (Jan 2, 2002)

Private parts. Kids love talking about them lol!
This wasn't in front of anyone but worth mentioning...
When we were in the shower one day, ds, who was a little more than 2 proclaimed that I had hair on my "clam penis".
No one ever said "clam" around him in reference to a vagina, but I guess we know where it comes from now huh?


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## redhotmama (Nov 7, 2005)

Has anyone's dc drawn a nude family portrait at school? This happened to another neighbor of mine and the teacher called her at home, laughing and warning her what was coming home on the bus.


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## candipooh (Jun 22, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redhotmama*
Has anyone's dc drawn a nude family portrait at school? This happened to another neighbor of mine and the teacher called her at home, laughing and warning her what was coming home on the bus.

Not at school but my then 4 year old drew a picture of me nude in the sand (with a stick) when we were fishing. It was not a quiet lake either, husseling and busseling with lots of people. I didn't







until she called out that she had found little sea shells for my nipples. The picture looked like something you would find on the bathroom stall of the boys jr. high bathroom.







:


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## sunnihoneyluv (Nov 7, 2005)

Oh What I get to look forward to. These were so hilarious. I even woke my baby laughing so hard. Thanks I needed a laugh. New baby stress


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## Ahappymel (Nov 20, 2001)

My 4 yr son told our African-American neighbor that he had a mean face. The man laughed and said why he thought he had a mean face? My son said, "Look how dark it is" (!).
Yikes! I was so embarrassed and so sorry but the man didn't seem too offended.
My son and I had a talk after that. I did not realize just how much color symbolism is used in the world...my little boy associates darkness with meanness or evil and light with goodness and joy.
I explained to him that you cannot tell about a person from their outside...I reminded him that my dad's wife (Granny is African-American) has a "dark" face.


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## Ahappymel (Nov 20, 2001)

Thought of one more...
My little boy and I were in the bathtub when he was about 2. He knew the word for his own "penis" and started pointing to my parts and saying "penis". I told him, "Mommy has a vulva". So now he knows the right word : )
Well, it's turned into a teasing game....he tells me "You have a penis!" and I gently correct him, "No, I have a vulva."
Well, we were out shopping at Trader Joe's...Christmas Season too so it's BUSY. He was hysterically laughing as he told many a passing stranger, "My Mommy has a penis!"
OH MY GOSH...shopping time was over


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## Laggie (Nov 2, 2005)

When I was about 3 years old I loudly asked my mother in a public washroom: "Mommy, why do you have a mustache on your pee-pee?"

My stepdaughter, at about 4 years of age, came to us and said:
"I *accidentally* stuck my finger in the dog's butt." I don't think she actually did (I sure hope not) but you better believe that hand got a good scrubbing!


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## Charles Baudelaire (Apr 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chiedza*
"Who wants pizza? Who wants ice cream? Who wants vulvas?" Don't know where he got the idea that was food, but I cleared that one up right away!

Well, lotsa people eat it.


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## shanagirl (Oct 24, 2005)

Okay, I've been laughing way too much late at night on this thread. I just remembered when dd was 2, my sister and I took her for a walk in the woods. My sister suddenly needed a bathroom about an hour into the walk and I told her, you're going to have to go off trail, there are no outhouses this deep in. She is very neat, very modest, and there was no way she was going to do this. But after a few more minutes she realizes she is just not going to make it back, so she very awkwardly picks her way into a little ditch out of sight. I never even really said anything to dd about it, we just kept it very matter of fact, altho all the way back, my sister keeps mumbling, I can't believe I did that.

About four months later there is a big extended family dinner, everyone dressed up, potluck, fresh flowers, etc. Some conversation is going on with my dh and brother in law, and at one point, BIL jokingly says, "Does a bear s___ in the woods?" And dd instantly turns to my sister and says, "You do."

Oh man, the look on my sister's face.


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## blessedwithboys (Dec 8, 2004)

my kids love those price scanners in walmart. my 10yo ds will grab anything and check the price. so as we walk by one, he sticks his hand under to "see how much he costs". i proceed to tell him "oh, i can tell you what you cost...you cost me my youth and figure!". (i was joking, and he totally knew it!) he fires right back with "YOU HAD A FIGURE???" as loud as he possibly could.

ds2 was not quite 3 when we were in a public bathroom (pre-diva cup days) and he felt the need to shout out, "oh my god, mommy you're bleeding! are you ok?! THE BLOOD IS ALL OVER YOUR UNDERWEAR!"


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## messy mama (Jan 14, 2005)

Oh man, these are hilarious!!

The boys(7&2), my mother and I were @ In & Out a couple of weeks ago. Well, my mom excused herself from the table to use the restroom. As she was walking away, my 2y/o *shouted*, "Grammy gonna take a dump!!" My mom almost died, mostly from laughing so hard.


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## addiesmom (Feb 4, 2005)

My DD loves to tell anyone she meets that her new brother has a penis like her daddy and she has a vagina like her mother!







She has also been known to walk over to DS and I while I'm talking to people and say "Hi Baby Brother!! How is your penis today? Should I check it for you?"

Oh - one other (she loves body parts) Soon after DS was born, a single childless male friend of ours came over to visit. DD got up on the couch, laid down and started grunting. Friend asked her what she was doing and she rubbed her belly and said "My baby is coming, I'm trying to push her out my vagina right now. Do you want to watch?".







He didn't come over for a while after that!


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## Mommy!Mommy!Mommy! (Sep 15, 2005)

Yes the Bagina itch! we know it well. for a while it was all DD wanted to talk about. "My bagina was itchy so when I take my bath I can't use the Big Bird bubble bath. So I took a bath with no bubbles and guess what? MY BAGINA DIDN"T ITCH ANYMORE! YEAH" clap of the hands. though embaressing being in a crowd of women (baby shower) I think the response clap was genuine!


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## luckylady (Jul 9, 2003)

OMG - these are HILARIOUS! My DD came and asked what I was laughing about...

We were going to the bathroom at Nordstrom and I had to change my tampon, so DD announces to everyone, "WOW MOMMY! YOU MADE A BIG POOP!" ugh. LOL.

We were at Target and DD and another rather robust woman bumped into one another. THe nice lady said "Oh I am so sorry sweetie!" and DD replied "that's OK, you're squishy." OMG. Thank God the lady had a sense of humor and cracked up.


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## addiesmom (Feb 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *luckylady*
We were at Target and DD and another rather robust woman bumped into one another. THe nice lady said "Oh I am so sorry sweetie!" and DD replied "that's OK, you're squishy."









:


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## dukeswalker (Feb 1, 2003)

OK- I just had to add another one (that squishy one reminded me...) It doesn't involve MY kiddo but a dear freinds and my mom.

My friend's son was over, he was about 6 and he was more of a round child coming from a proud and round family. My mom was sitting at the table and he comes over to her, takes a big handful of her upper thigh - wiggles and jiggles it back aand forth and says "Mmmmmmm....fluffy"







With this dreamy look on his face. Later, I cracked up telling his mom the story and she relayed that he has a thing for soft, fluffy women!


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## Tuckersmom (Sep 4, 2003)

these are to die for! I practically woke the baby last night i was laughing so hard!


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## ramlita (Mar 26, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *G&B'sMama*
So I ran to the bathroom with 2 ½ year old DD in tow and made it just in time to get to the toilet. After a minute or so DD starts making these gagging noises and says "Mama, that's a big stinky poo-poo" over and over again really loudly. The bathroom was in the back right next to where a scrapbooking class was going on. I could hear every word they were saying. I am trying to shush her and she starts saying

"I want out, its too stinky in here, help me get out help me!"









:







:







: ...







: ...


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## spirit4ever (Nov 4, 2004)

I wasn't going to post really as my son hasn't done anything to embarass me, until I came across this one:

Quote:

My 4 yr son told our African-American neighbor that he had a mean face. The man laughed and said why he thought he had a mean face? My son said, "Look how dark it is" (!).
and I remembered.....my ds was 3 and my uncle (well really just very close friend of the family) was outside mowing his lawn. So we went over for a visit, and they played for a while, when it was time to go my uncle asked Isaac for a high five...and Isaac said 'no way, you're dirty'..oh I was just mortified







: Luckily he's an older man and has many neices and nephews and Isaac hasn't been the first one to say that. I tried to have a little talk with him but I'm not sure he understood


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## gret the great (Nov 26, 2001)

At restaurant, when PG with #3 DS tells the waitress, "My dad gave my mom 3 sperms!"

Same restaurant, same day, same waitress, after a trip to the potty, DD1 tells waitress, "My mama made a poop...a BIG one!"

I never see that waitress there anymore...


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## Gardeninginthefog (Sep 18, 2004)

:


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## ramlita (Mar 26, 2002)

another


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## nikisager (Oct 25, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *keeksmom*
At around age 3 my dd fixated on the word "penis". She just enjoyed saying it. One day, riding in the shopping cart, she loudly announced to the checkout person and everyone else in line, "My mommy has a PENIS!".


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## True Blue (May 9, 2003)

At the airport a few weeks, my DS -- who has seen me naked thousands of times, is always in the bathroom with me, showers with me, etc -- decided at that moment, in the public restroom, while I was squatting over a toilet, to ask me, "Why do you have hair on your peepee?" It was so funny....more funny than embarrassing I guess.







I told him that's what happens when you grow up...of course he answered back with, "Will I get hair on my peepee when I grow up too?"







Please keep in mind my son's only voice volume level is LOUD.


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## MamaHippo (Dec 4, 2004)

these are HILARIOUS!


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## True Blue (May 9, 2003)

On that subject...DS has asked me if his sister will grow her penis when she gets older.


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## MamaHippo (Dec 4, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *keeksmom*
At around age 3 my dd fixated on the word "penis". She just enjoyed saying it. One day, riding in the shopping cart, she loudly announced to the checkout person and everyone else in line, "My mommy has a PENIS!".

Wow- I can see that being my son soon!

My son is fascinated by the whole potty process, and by the fact that mommy seems to be missing a penis. He showers with me almost daily and every day he looks, shakes his head, sighs and says, "Mama, no penis" Like he is soooo sorry for the unfortunate condition of not having a penis . But he follows every family member into the potty and watches while they go, and comments on whether or not they seem to have a penis, and talks about it to that family member for days afterward. He has (so far) not commented on the whole lack-of-penis thing in public, but its only a matter of time...


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## frogguruami (Sep 21, 2004)

We put together a book of some of the crazy things that our kids say for Christmas presents this year. Here are a few excerpts form the "Big Book of Kyllianisms"

"Sh%&!", I exclaimed, one day after dropping something on my foot in Walmart. Kyllian was quick to point out my naughtiness. Over and over and over again.

"Mommy, you shouldn't say sh%&. Sh%& is a bad word. It isn't nice to say sh%&. Instead of sh%& you should say Tarter Sauce because sh%& is a bad word. Don't say sh%& anymore. Sh%& isn't nice to say."

"Okay, Kyllian," I responded while half the store looked at us in amazement. "I won't say that anymore but you shouldn't say it either."

"But, Mommy," he replied, "I didn't say sh%&. You said sh%& and that's bad!"

________________________________________

Another favorite

One evening while playing with a young female friend, Kyllian marches into the kitchen and announces, "Mommy, I need a new bi*@h."

Shocked, we ask him to repeat himself. He again, plainly states, "I need a new bi*@h!". At that point, I looked at him and said, "You need a new what?". "A new BI*@H!" he replied pointing in the direction of his young female playmate.

Completely dumbfounded, the young girl's mother and I stand there trying not to laugh.

Then it is daddy to the rescue!

He responds to Kyllian, asking, "You need a new BENCH?"
"UM, YEAH&#8230;" replies Kyllian in an irritated tone of voice.

_________________________________________

One more for good measure

One afternoon while riding in the car, I was explaining to Drake that daddy would be putting him on the bus on the upcoming Friday. After asking me why, I explaining that Kyllian had to go to the doctor's so they could take pictures of his brain to make sure it was all working well. Kyllian, being in a bad mood, piped in at the top of his lungs with, "I don't have a brain!".
After nearly running the car off the road due to laughter, I simply said yes you do and we will have pictures to prove it on Friday.

When the time came for Kyllian's MRI, we were in the waiting room and he was playing. The appointment was very early in the morning and we were the only people in the hospital, so when the doctor came into
get us Kyllian knew the doctor was there for him. Before the doctor could open his mouth to speak, Kyllian stood up in the middle of the room,
planted his feet on the floor, hands on his hips and screamed, "I DON'T HAVE A BRAAAAIIIIIIN!!!!!!" This was so loud that the nurses down the hall heard
him and got quite a giggle out of it. The doctor, who turned out to be the anesthesiologist, laughed and said, "Well, I can see you're gonna be a handful."

Sorry for such a long post but I just couldn't pick my favorite.


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## Celtain (Mar 10, 2004)

My tummy hurts from laughing so hard!!!!

Quick one, I have been staying at my mom's house lately and I borrowed a pair of her jammie pants. Well, I'm on the petite side and, well, my mom isn't. So I'm standing in the kitchen making toast and talking to my mom and whoops, I guess ds2 REALLY wanted my attantion because there go the pants straight to the floor. My mom was laughing so hard I thought she was going to wet herself.


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## Brigianna (Mar 13, 2006)

These are so funny! I know, not for y'all involved, but I'm









When dd was about 1, she figured out how to pull her diaper off and would do so at every opportunity, especially if she was wearing a dress. Usually I would catch her in the act or right after, replace it, and say "please keep your diaper on," but she still did it whenever she got the chance. She didn't take off any other items, mind you, just the diaper.

So I was going to a function to meet a politician, who will remain unnamed for everyone's benefit, and I brought dd along. She was riding in the stroller, so I somehow missed her taking her diaper off, and wearing a long dress, so I didn't notice afterwards. I meet the politician, and I'm really impressed because he knows who I am. So we're talking about my work, I say I'm looking forward to voting for him, all that good stuff. He asks to pick up dd (bonus points from me for asking!), because, you know, all pols have to kiss babies. He picks up dd, and she lifts up her dress, no diaper, and pees all over him. The poor man's shirt was *soaked.* It was like she'd been waiting for the perfect moment.

Fortunately, everyone reacted well, but I still wanted to quietly slink away...


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## LadyMarmalade (May 22, 2005)

Very loudly (bordering on hysterical), in a crowded toystore:

"But I NEEEEEED a new toy because you said I'm not allowed to play with my penis outside anymore."


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## bu's mama (Mar 25, 2004)

:

Ramlita - thank you for bumping this thread. I needed a few good laughs!


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## dukeswalker (Feb 1, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amseiler*
"Sh%&!", I exclaimed, one day after dropping something on my foot in Walmart. Kyllian was quick to point out my naughtiness. Over and over and over again.

"Mommy, you shouldn't say sh%&. Sh%& is a bad word. It isn't nice to say sh%&. Instead of sh%& you should say Tarter Sauce because sh%& is a bad word. Don't say sh%& anymore. Sh%& isn't nice to say."

"Okay, Kyllian," I responded while half the store looked at us in amazement. "I won't say that anymore but you shouldn't say it either."

"But, Mommy," he replied, "I didn't say sh%&. You said sh%& and that's bad!"


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## Dragonfly (Nov 27, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *caloli*
"But I NEEEEEED a new toy because you said I'm not allowed to play with my penis outside anymore."









:

Ds still does the "MAMA, ARE YOU GOING PEE OR POOP???" thing in the public bathrooms, but our new most embarrassing moment was when we were in the grocery store and one of the checkout ladies was wearing an eyepatch. Ds' threw up his hands and ran for the exit screaming, "PIRATE!!!! PIRAAAAAAAATE!!"


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## Momtwice (Nov 21, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Laggie*
When I was about 3 years old I loudly asked my mother in a public washroom: "Mommy, why do you have a mustache on your pee-pee?"

My stepdaughter, at about 4 years of age, came to us and said:
"I *accidentally* stuck my finger in the dog's butt." I don't think she actually did (I sure hope not) but you better believe that hand got a good scrubbing!

I would tend to believe her. My kids used to stick their fingers in the dogs butt and I've head similar stories from several other moms.


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## Hippiemommie (Jul 3, 2005)

My son isn't old enough to really embarrass me but my God-daughter did live with me for a while and I have a few of her stories:

I took Harley with me to try on some clothes at Lane Bryant and being 4 she asked all sorts of questions one of which was, "Why do they have these big tags on them?" I said those are to keep people from stealing the clothes. She said, "How do they work?" I said "When someone tries to steal it alerts and alarm and when they go out the door the alarm sounds." So we finish up and she are leaving when the alarm sound as we exit. Her eyes get wide, she takes a step back from me, points and covers her mouth and then yells, "YOU STOLE SOMETHING!" She kept repeating this as I'm trying to drag her back up to the front to get the tag taken off my purchase, embarrassed with everyone looking.









Harley's mother and I worked at the same pizza place and at this point they both lived with me. While I was waiting tables, Harley and her mom came in to get lunch. Bobbi had been wanting another baby and Harley desperately wanted another sibling. So I am standing at a table getting an order when Harley comes up and interrupts me by tugging on my apron and ask, "Will you help Mommy make me a baby sister?" I had to leave the table to explain that yes it takes two people but two of the opposite sex where she said, "No, it just takes two people who love each other. And you and Mommy do."




























AWWWWWWWWWWW


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## alsoSarah (Apr 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *caloli*
Very loudly (bordering on hysterical), in a crowded toystore:

"But I NEEEEEED a new toy because you said I'm not allowed to play with my penis outside anymore."


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## luvnmommyhood (Oct 29, 2005)

After waking everyone in my house up, I decided to post one of my favorites.

Dd, (about 2.5 at the time) df, and I were in the back of the building in Friendlys having dinner with some friends, when I excused myself to go to the ladies room. I got about 3/4 of the way to the front when dd yelled at the top of her lungs "Mama, you forgot your TAMPON!!" Of course, right before she said that, the room got eerily silent, so her voice seemed just that much louder! To top it off, she came RUNNING to me holding a tampon high over her head for everyone to see.














:







:

Later, I asked df why he didn't keep her from running after me. He said, "because I was laughing so hard that I couldn't see her leave through the tears!"


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## soygurl (Jan 28, 2006)

OMG. OMIGAWD.





















:







: laughup







to ALL of the above! Keep 'em coming!







:


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## MistyB (Oct 20, 2004)

We went to get a sprite to drink my son exclaimed loudy...Mommy, why does the lady only have ONE tooth? Loudly enough for everyone to hear it. I was in shock and quickly apologized and walked off with the drink and tried to explain to him that if he noticed different things about people, not to say them out load but to wait until later when we were alone to ask.

Or when he told a few ladies in the store..."Those are the pluggers mama wears"...pointing at a box of tampax pearl tampons.


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## solomom (Mar 6, 2006)

this threads hilarious--subbing so i can get through the whole thing!


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## solomom (Mar 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MomiEilis*
our son took a squat under a table at our favorite restaurant once and loaded up his diaper... we noticed so we tried to pay pretty quickly to get out of there... before we made it out the door, a little turd rolled out of his pants and onto the carpet.

you picked it up right?


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## solomom (Mar 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DarkHorseMama*
Scenario: DH, DD (nearly 4 at the time), DS (18 months) and I went to South Africa this summer to visit family. We are 19 hours into a 20 flight. HUGE 747 airplane full of people restlessly fidgeting at the end of an extremely long trip. We have started descent and started to hit a few turbulence bumps on the way down. At one point, we hit a pocket and dropped briefly before levelling back out (nothing really new for those who have done a fair amount of air travel).

DH leaned over to DD and asked quietly, "Did you feel that in your stomach when we dropped?" She said, rather loudly, "No! I felt it in my VAGINA!"









Much giggling around us.






























:







:







:


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## Ayala Eilon (Apr 8, 2006)

I don't know what's wrong with me, but I wouldn't be embarassed by any of this. I would love, apologize when needed and tell the truth. We are all humans.


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## ozzyemm (Apr 15, 2005)

These are hilarious!! DS is only 5 months (today







) so, I don't really have embarrasing moments from him yet, but I will soon, I am sure!!


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## Moochie Mamma (Jan 23, 2006)

:







:







:





















laughup

These are hillarious!! Thanks for sharing everyone I haven't laughed this hard in a loooong time!


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## Moochie Mamma (Jan 23, 2006)

Oops double post


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## Nu_Mommy_2003 (Jun 13, 2003)

I have to add here since I've been read them all. First off DS speaks/hears 3 different languages regularly. Therefore, his sentences consist of words from all 3 languages. A bonus to avoid embarassing moments because I can just stop talking in english and DS understands. With that said:

While waiting to exit a long plane ride, DS loudly tells DH "dad my private (spoken in korean and sounds like DS said "chumgee") hurts". Dh said "please whisper to daddy. Why does it hurt". So DS tells dad in a whisper that his chumgee(he means penis) hurts because he was tickling it. DH tells DS we don't tickle it in public. DS says "why not?" DH, tired and in a hurry to get off the plane, quietly states "because it will fell off, now don't touch it in public".

Now DS scared, yells in all english on a quiet plane full of people "Mom Helllllllllp my penis is falling off". I said in shock "WHAT". DS yells again "I played with penis on plane and now it's falling off". Still in shock I have not responded. He then screams "hurry get doctor before lose penis". I smile and tell DS in another language, "that it's okay it will not fall off but we should omly play with penis inside our room" He then says "Truth ma, my penis not fall off, because I really really neeeed it"


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## Glover_Girls (Mar 20, 2006)

First off I am laughing so hard at these stories!!

One day we were at the supermarket and my dd, who is very sweet and generally not fresh, answered my questions with, "YES, Your Majesty!" She had seen Alice in Wonderland recently and liked to quote it. I'm sure people thought I was some sort of commando mom!

And very recently one day I was picking up my dd at daycare, the teachers had a story for me. Apparently at lunch something started to stink really bad. The teachers ran around checking diapers of little ones and asking who had an accident. No one confessed. Finally, as they were about to see if the septic system backed up, my sweet little dd says, "It was me...I tooted!" I was laughing so hard!!


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## folaboye (May 21, 2004)

I'm really laughing hard here and water coming from my eyes.














:









Children are so funny.







:









It reminds me of my DS, lately anyone he see in the papers or books he will say "sexy". He came to me saying "Mom sexy" I asked him what is the meaning of it.














don't know what he meant about it. The boy is only 3.5yrs. I think that's what is in the air now.









This morning again DH in the bathroom, I think he forgot something and came out without anything on. DS touched him and said peepee I was just





























:







:
















Hey children are funny. Just sharing a little of my own


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## mata (Apr 20, 2006)

my six year old dd was having some personality conflicts with a rather unpleasant girl in her class, and this same girl was being hard on another little girl in class and was called into the principal's office about it. The girl's mother called me, astonished that her daughter was being called in for this-she had never acted this way before, and had I heard anything about her bullying other kids. Well, that very afternoon my dd had come home with a scrape on her knee, saying this girl had "pushed me and I fell down." So I mentioned it to the mother, and she was appalled. About three hours later it comes out from dd that the girl had been pushing her on the _swing_ and dd fell when she jumped off. Aaaaack-I felt terrible, lol. Called the other mom right away. The little girl is still a pill though, and I kind of think she was probably pushing dd too roughly, so maybe she got what she deserved anyway!


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## Canadianmommax3 (Mar 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sjkmaurice*
I was in a store a few weeks ago and a heavy woman passed by us carrying a baby. My three year old said, rather loudly, "that's a BIG lady!" Thinking fast, I replied, "Yes, it's a big baby, isn't it?" She looked at me like I was stupid and said, even louder, "I said big LAAAADY!"

lol


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## Canadianmommax3 (Mar 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AndiG*
not embarrassing but darn funny.... We went to Chicago with the kids, my bil and another couple when Dd was just about 26 months. She wasn't terribly clear with her words and ended up prouncing truck as cock. Well the other couple, Jamie and Lisa, rented a red suv for the trip. When we were driving to the zoo we got lost and they had to follow us out of downtown Chicago during the city wide marathon. Charlotte spent the entire time asking us where Jamie's big red cock was and when would she see it again?









bil, dh and I were the only ones in the vehicle (other than our two kids ) and were having a hard time not laughing ourselves sick over the cock comments.

stop please lol i am crying now!!!lmao


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## 1hautemama (Mar 5, 2006)

I am just lovin' this thread, keep 'em coming! Here's my recent experience with DD last weekend, though not as funny as the pp's...My DH and I try to sleep in every chance we get, and we do so in the buff. DD is six and on this particular weekend we were expected at MIL's for my baby shower but Dh and I just could'nt resist milking the morning for more snuggle time, all the while DD pestering us to get out of bed. Sooo we get to MIL's finally and making the dramatic entrance for us, DD announces super loud "MY MOMMY AND DADDY HUGGED NAKED IN THE BED ALL MORNING!!!", then she follows with "they always want to make "sexy" in the shower". HUH?


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## luckylady (Jul 9, 2003)

OMG - LOL.

Well, there is nothing more embarrassing than hearing yourself come out of your child's mouth.

We were in line at the post office - which here is sssssslllllllooooooooowwwww and always has 50 people in line.







: So DD and I are in line, and of course the place is SILENT because God forbid anyone talk to each other - like in an elevator. So after about 10 minutes my DD lets out this dramatic sigh and says in a LOUD voice "UGH! BAMMIT! (her word for dammit) IS ANYONE WORKING HERE OR WHAT?!?" Most of the people laughed and some old people gave me stink eye.









IN target we were shopping and she and a rather large woman bumped into each other in the toy isle, and the nice lady patted her on the head and said "Oh, I am sorry sweetie." and my darling DD replied "That's OK. You're squishy!"





















thankfully thre lady was nice and got a good laugh out of it.


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## AngieB (Oct 25, 2003)

These are so funny, I have to post mine.

We live in a very rural area so it is no big deal if my ds pees outside, however my brother lives in a large city. My mom, kids and I went to visit him last summer when ds was 4. He has a very nice park near his house so we walked the kids over to it one afternoon. Ds runs ahead of us and gets to the park first. Then right in the middle of the park in front of a family with 5 little girls ds drops his pants and starts peeing. My mom handled it great. when we got to him she pulled his pants up and said to the mom of the little girls "we're not from around here" and we walked away. He will never live that down.


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## Zach'smom (Nov 5, 2004)

:







:







:







:

LOL!!!!

DS and I were at a JCPenney Portrait studio to pick pictures last summer. It was really crowded and DS and I had been waiting in line quite awhile. When we got up to the counter the man at the cashier next to us was Jamaican. He had beautiful dark skin and a rich, melodic Jamaican accent. He really got DS's attention. DS yelled out really LOUD "Hey look mom! A chocolate man!!!!"


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## AllisonK (Feb 18, 2005)

This is great!!









We tend to take "family showers". Me, DH, DD, and DS. Well one cold winter evening DH and I were talking after dinner about taking a fam shower and DD, 4 at the time, asked Grandma, who was visiting, if she wanted to take a family shower with us. We all had a good laugh about that one.


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## Lisa85 (May 22, 2006)

This one is from a friend of mine who is a single mom. She was in labor with her 2nd dd and had no one to watch her 1st dd as everyone was at work and she has no family near by except for her mom who was also her labor coach. So her dd1 watched pretty much everything. For the next few months, her dd1 would would tell everyone who would listen "SISSY CAME OUT MOMMY'S POTTY!" She was just turned 2 so her words weren't always clear so people often asked her again just to make sure they heard it right. "I SAAAAAIIIID, SISSY CAME OUT MOMMY'S POTTY! IT DID, I SAW IT!"


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## anarchamama (Mar 4, 2005)

Once when my DS was potty training he took off running down the halway at the Y, I was hustling behind him but thought he was just escaping and not headed for the bathroom. Untill all these people started coming around the corner looking worried and saying who's litle boy is that? I come around the corner to find DS has pulled down his pants and is getting ready to poo on the floor. I managed to grab him and run tt he can just in time. On the other hand it was one of the few times peoplehave sorrectly identified him as a boy!









And once he insisted on going on and on about a larger boys "nursies in the hotub. Fortunatly the guy could not really hear him and I got the hell out of there.


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## yogachick79 (Apr 4, 2006)

:








These are awesome! I actually called DH on his cell to read him some since DS is his first and he hasn't gotten the joys of that yet.

When DD was little she would always ask very loudly if I was going pee or poo when we were in public restrooms.

When she was about 2 she almost had an accident that really scared me and I yelled "Oh sh!t". Well for a few months after that she would walk around saying "Oh sh!t, oh sh!t, oh sh!t". Didn't live that one down for around.

Also, when she little she pronouced fish just like b!t(h. So you can imagine the looks that got us pretty much every where we saw fish. Ugh


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## chasmyn (Feb 23, 2004)

These are just hilarious! I've read more than half of them to DH after gales of laughter. Thanks whomever resurrected this thread!


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## sevenkids (Dec 16, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *OakBerry*
:

When he was much younger he would point to any man in the vicinity and say "Daddy"! One time he kept saying it to the teenage boy bagging groceries at the supermarket, and the kid was purple with embarrassment. I wasn't that embarrassed (used to it by now) but I felt bad for the teenager, and was trying not to laugh for his sake!









Oh, man! My ds used to do that too! Every single man he saw, he'd stretch his arms out and shout "DADDY!" with a big grin on his face.

I used to put cool cloths on my head when I had a headache. A few days after dd was born, we had to have some electrical work done in our kitchen. So the electician is there, and I'm sitting on the couch with the baby, and DS walks out of our bedroom, just as the electrician is coming out of the kitchen, with one of my jumbo-sized maternity pads stuck to his forehead. "I got a headache, Mama!" The electrician cracked up, "So _that's_ what those are for!"


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## Awaken (Oct 10, 2004)

Looks like I came across and oldie but goodie! I randomly found this thread when I was looking for something else, and it is one of the funniest things I've ever read!!

Anyone have anything else embarrassing to add?


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## Niamh (Jan 17, 2005)

I'll add one. Not embarrassing for me. (Or for my DH who it _could_ have been embarrassing for-he thought it was hilarious.)

DD was going potty today and asked for us to wipe her bum. DH went in there, wiped her, flushed and then sat down to go himself. He was teasing her and said "The seat's still cold-why didn't you warm it up?" She said (complete with the appropriately sized hand movements) "I only have a leetle bum, daddy. You have a BIG bum. And I have a leetle vulva and you have a leetle, leetle, leetle penis."































For the record, so my DH doesn't kill me, he thinks she should have switched the adjectives on his body parts.


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## Kirsten (Mar 19, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Balanced Mama* 
I once heard that you should tell your children the correct names for everything. And since my kids tend to find all sorts of things in our house, they learned a lot of names. Unfortunately, my son, who was about eighteen months at the time, was terrified of a large, white, noisy, cylinder-shaped heater at a friend's house. When I asked him what was wrong, he said, "Big scary tampon!" To him, that was the shape of the heater. The older kids thought it was hillarious.

That is such a good story.... I am still laughing.


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## Kirsten (Mar 19, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sheena* 
When ds was just two my Dad died and we were in the car on the way home from the memorial service in a car packed with funeral goers, family friends, etc... Well, a car passed us and little ds raises his tiny fist, shakes it, and says, "Slow down, a**hole!"
I sat quietly, hoping no one would notice. Of course, everyone did and cracked up.

And then just about a year ago we were in a big teaching supply store on a super crowded saturday when ds, then 5, found the giant map rug in the middle of the store. He stands on Florida and shouts at full volume: "LOOK MOM! I'M STANDING ON AMERICA'S WANG!!!" Dh and I nearly died.

OMG, I'm crying now.... this is too funny.


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## Jenny_Jane (Nov 23, 2006)

well I got 2 stories one we decided to go the mid-night service at church so the girls could open their presants right away in the mourning. We figured they would fall asleep right away When jane fell asleep I took them bk to the nurcery Jennifer would not fall asleep their was a tv in the nurcery and I turned it on to see if that would help. There were not to many kid channels on. Then all of the sudden she says stop mommy and sceams at the top of her lungs "LOOK MOMMY THEIR HAVING SEX" they were actully kissing and I said hunny were did u learn that mommy u and daddy do it all the time. it just so happened the hole chuch was quiet and it echoed.

The next one was Jane asked mommy can i have a quarter she goes to the bathroom real quick i wait by the carts and she comes out mommy look at my cool sticker and had a pad sticking on her chest .


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## Nathan1097 (Nov 20, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LadyMarmalade* 
Very loudly (bordering on hysterical), in a crowded toystore:

"But I NEEEEEED a new toy because you said I'm not allowed to play with my penis outside anymore."

LOL! That's men- forever!


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## embers (Mar 24, 2006)

Christmas morning... my son unwraps presents. He is tired, he is overwhelmed... he is hungry. He opens his doll house and starts to check it out. He says, "... hey, there is no bed or tables" (ironically, he was sitting next to the present WITH the bed, tables, etc in it). I say, "I guess you will just have to use your imagination!" in an excited voice. My son furrows his brow and says "bitch".

Our family NEVER says things like this, or any name calling at or about people. I pulled my son away to our room right away, and he and daddy and I had an hour conversation before starting over. But still.... Sheesh. I am so grateful that it is just us for Christmas (no extended family). We know our kiddo... and this in no why had to ruin his/our day. But if this had been in front of my husband's family, it would have totally annihilated the Christmas day and tailspinned the rumors, the "he needs spanked" etc.

... That boy, that boy.


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## gabry (Jan 21, 2004)

Loving this thread!

Ds1 and I go to the (indoor) swimming pool in town frequently. A while ago we had just started showing him how to retract his foreskin and clean his penis. Well, one day under the shower -they're right next to the pool - I took off his swim trunks to wash him, and he demonstrated the foreskin retraction, loudly announcing "You don't have a glans, mama!"

Same pool, different day, in the crowded communal dressing room, reaching for my breasts:"How are your mammies (his word for breast/nursing)?" I try to change the subject and softly tell him this is not a good place to talk about that. "But I just wanted to pet them!"


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## wednesday2004 (May 22, 2005)

When my ds1 was around 2 we were grocery shopping when he started staring at a woman in the store. Now my son had been around people of many races, including family members( we are white and NA) and my best friend was philipino, this woman happened to be black(although when I noticed him staring at her I looked around and there were at least two other black women in the store that he didn't even look twice at) I was assuming he was staring at her because of her race because I couldn't see why else but I was wondering why then he wasn't interested in anyone else there. I was trying to figure out an age appropriate way to explain that people come in all colors and that it isn't polite to stare when he yelled "look mom, klingon!" I wasn't expecting that. Then I looked at the woman that he had been staring at to make sure she didn't hear that(she didn't) but that's when I noticed she did look kind of like Lt. Worf








My lesson I learned that day was to never assume you know what a two year old is thinking.


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## HumbleLuna (Jul 12, 2005)

When my dd(now 5) was a toddler and still nursing she would constantly grab my breasts when I pushed her around in a grocery cart. I didn't really mind that much because she was just being sweet and loving, but people would look away embarassed.
More recently she brought home some paper gingerbread men that she made in Kindergarten. My DH and I were so embarassed when we noticed that they all had penises.
..My dd and I were out shopping at the grocery store. An elderly woman stopped in the middle of the isle and just ripped a big one right in front of us. My daughter looked up at me stunned for a moment and then bust out laughing and said really loud "Mama that lady farted so loud!"
My dd also has the habbit of asking me if I farted when we are at the checkout line. The first time the man checking us out turned bright red. I think dd does it just to embarrass me.lol


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## Jmo780 (May 3, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamablueberry* 
More recently she brought home some paper gingerbread men that she made in Kindergarten. My DH and I were so embarassed when we noticed that they all had penises.


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## Nathan1097 (Nov 20, 2001)

This isn't embarassing, but it's funny.... Nataleigh is 7 and Nathan is 9. (Noah is 5, too, but he wasn't involved.)

(Taken from my ex's blog from the 23rd of December...)

Quoth Nataleigh

Today, the kids were playing some new PS2 games they got from grandpa Neil (Jen's dad) for Christmas. They had Christmas with him yesterday. Anyway...
Nathan was playing some Dragon Ball Z game and one of his enemies was this android in the form of a young blond girl.
I say "This doesn't look right, big old muscular you beating on some cute girl."
Nataleigh says "As cute as she is on the outside, she is that evil on the inside."
Nathan almost lost the fight for laughing so hard.


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## Nathan1097 (Nov 20, 2001)

Here's another one...

My kids have this 'companion' if you will, called 'Little Dude.' Any one of them can invoke a Little Dude, by holding their hand out like it's in a puppet and work the fingers like a mouth.
Anyway, Noah takes his little dude and starts chomping away at Nathan's chest and says "I'm stealing your soul! heehee"
I respond "What was that!?!"
Nataleigh explains "That was little dude. Sometimes he'll bite your nose."
"Biting a nose is onething. Stealing a soul is a whole different concept."
I just don't know where they come up with these things sometimes.


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## Nathan1097 (Nov 20, 2001)

*Another few from this past summer:*

Noah's turn

I've quoted Nataleigh a couple times here recently.
Today, in the car, Nathan was running off at the mouth about weird random stuff and I hear Noah say from the back:
"Who are you? And what have you done with Nathan?"

I just about died laughing.
*
And....*

This time from Nathan.

"Santa Claus must live at the north magnetic pole, because that's the only north pole with land."

*And...*

I was showing the kids the progress my tomato plant has been making. Nataleigh and Noah were looking it all over and looking at the little green tomato and the little yellow flowers.
Nataleigh says:
"You're making up for all the plants you've killed. Have you killed many plants?"

I guess I can't escape my past.

*And one last one from the summer....*

Last weekend was a big one but it started with the work picnic at a local orchard.
One of the buildings at the place was a "Hay Barn" which looked like a large shed open along one side with a lot of hay inside that the kids could run around in and do whatever it is kids do in a big pile of hay.
Nataleigh and I were sitting in there because it was shady and it was very hot. I was sitting on a platform just hanging out when Nataleigh sneaks up behind me with a big pile of hay and throws it down on my arm.
"Hey!" I exclaim.
Cool as anything, Nataleigh says "That's what it's called a 'hay barn.'"


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## Zoeanne (Dec 4, 2005)

This isn't embarassing, but it's funny....

my mil told me that when sil was 2ish (i think she;d been weaned), she pointed to mil's breast and said "that's milk"

That's right...said mil

sil pointed to the other breast, and said, "what's in that one, apple juice?"


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## Jmo780 (May 3, 2006)

Today, Dd 5.5 & I went shopping. We had a bag from Kohls that we were putting all of our things in to buy...I see a pair of really cute black thongs, and toss them in the bag, but Dd gets them back out and said "What do these things do mom?" and I said "They are panties." She said "Well can you tell me how they work?" So I discreetly show her the front and back of the panties, and said the string part kinda tucked into your buttcrack







and she says with probably the loudest voice possible (and one hand in the air like oh no you didnt!) "OH MY GOD! THOSE ARE SO DISGUSTING MOM! THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE A BUTT IN THEM! YOUR BUTT WILL RUB AGAINST YOUR JEANS WHEN YOU WEAR THOSE!" So I am red in the face and a few women about fell over laughing, and I whisper that it wasn't the time or place to talk about it, and we needed to put the panties back in the bag. So we do, and we continue walking, and about 10 minutes later in the checkout lane, she said again (Loudly!) "I still can't believe you are actually buying panties that have NO butt in them! It is so disgusting mom! I am telling daddy too!"


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## solareyna (Oct 23, 2005)

Not really embarrassing but funny:

DS (3) has this fascination with "bad words". We were driving down the street and he was asking me "Mommy, is tree a bad word? Can I say tree?" and so on to everything we saw until finally I got exasperated and told ds "Mommy will tell you what the bad words are, honey. If you say one, I will let you know." And clear as day he says "F**K - that's a bad word." I guess I asked for that one.


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## MacKinnon (Jun 15, 2004)

It wasn't me that DD has been embarrasing but her grandpa. He takes her once a week or so and they go play at a playground or the local pool. He had her at the playground one day shortly after we found out this baby was a boy. She was also potty training and VERY interested in what makes boys and girls different. As she played at the playground that day, she announced at the top of her lungs, to every person she say, "You are a girl! You have a vagina!" "You are a boy! You have a penis!" My poor, conservative FIL was SO mortified that they ended up leaving because she wouldn't stop!


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## azjen43 (Feb 16, 2005)

I've been reading and laughing for an hour....Here's a story from our family.: My nephew, who was about 12 at the time, pale, blonde, blue eyed, profoundly autistic....he's just gotten off an airplane and is walking through the terminal to meet his mom's future in-laws for the first time. As they turn a corner, they come face to face with several African American men. My nephew stops, gives a James Brown scream, spins around, and shouts out "Say it loud, I'm black and I'm proud!"


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## ericswifey27 (Feb 12, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AndiG* 
not embarrassing but darn funny.... We went to Chicago with the kids, my bil and another couple when Dd was just about 26 months. She wasn't terribly clear with her words and ended up prouncing truck as cock. Well the other couple, Jamie and Lisa, rented a red suv for the trip. When we were driving to the zoo we got lost and they had to follow us out of downtown Chicago during the city wide marathon. Charlotte spent the entire time asking us where Jamie's big red cock was and when would she see it again?

bil, dh and I were the only ones in the vehicle (other than our two kids ) and were having a hard time not laughing ourselves sick over the cock comments.


DS pronounces Percy, one of the Thomas the train characters, puss*...

The worst is when he goes around choosing which characters we like the best for us. Mommy likes James. Daddy likes...

And he's done that in public restaurants too. No place is exempt.


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## redhotmama (Nov 7, 2005)

take the tr off of truck and insert f
that's the way truck used to be pronounced around here.


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## mamatoady (Mar 16, 2004)

thankfully, my daughter hasn't embarrassed me too bad yet (either that or I've blocked it out), but my mother reminds me often of when she had started dating again (my parents divorced when I was an infant) that I told her date "my dad poops in the gutters and rides cows naked"

to make more sense of this, my dad was a dairy farmer, but to my knowledge never did either of those things








sarah


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## 2 in August (Jan 6, 2006)

When my dd was 2yo, my friend & I took her ds (also 2yo) and my dd on a road trip to the Fort Wayne zoo. Anyway, we shared a hotel room and while my friend was changing her ds' diaper my little girl walked over looked at her friend, looked at me and said "Look momma!! R--- has a tail!!! I never knew that!" My friend and I died laughing.


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## Girl In The Fire (Apr 6, 2005)

A few months ago we went out to eat at a busy restraunt...A man walked by wearing a large red turban...My daughter had recently seen Pirates of the Carribean and to my horror points directly at him and yells "LOOK MOM A PIRATE!!!" some more excited pointing "LOOK A PIRATE!!!"

I was sooooo embarassed and later we had a dicussion about how different people wear different kinds of clothes...


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## Demeter9 (Nov 14, 2006)

Potty training 2 year old stands up beside me in the restaurant booth, and pulls her pants down and annouces "Mommy I have to go." Laughing ensues all around us.

Same child, 3.5 standing behind a woman in the supermarket, "Mommy that woman has a enormous GIGANTIC bum." (same child remarks to me one day, you have a big bum Mommy). Later conversation about how not all things need to be said all the time.









Other child at 2 asks loudly in the public restroom, "Mommy do you need to change your diaper?" (pad) and another time, "Mommy peed from her vagina!" on the bus.

Extroverts. I have extroverts for children.


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## Mighty Jalapeno (Oct 27, 2006)

At Taka Sushi....

"Why does she talk funny like that?"


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## Baby Makes 4 (Feb 18, 2005)

*wiping tears of laughter*

When DS was 3 he had the following conversation with a lady in the checkout line at the grocery store:

DS: You have a baby in your tummy and I know how it's gonna get out! You're gonna get a tummy ache an' den you'll push real hard like your going poo and a baby will come right out of your VAGINA!

Lady: Um, there's no baby in my tummy.

DS: Oh, so then you're just really, really, really, really FAT!

~~~~~~

When he was 2 he liked to eat his meals with a fork but didn't always pronounce it correctly. He would scream in restaurants at the top of his lungs:

"I WANNA F***!"


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## Awaken (Oct 10, 2004)

OMG, I am dying here, I am so glad this thread has been resurrected!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *azjen43* 
I've been reading and laughing for an hour....Here's a story from our family.: My nephew, who was about 12 at the time, pale, blonde, blue eyed, profoundly autistic....he's just gotten off an airplane and is walking through the terminal to meet his mom's future in-laws for the first time. As they turn a corner, they come face to face with several African American men. My nephew stops, gives a James Brown scream, spins around, and shouts out "Say it loud, I'm black and I'm proud!"









:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamatoady* 
thankfully, my daughter hasn't embarrassed me too bad yet (either that or I've blocked it out), but my mother reminds me often of when she had started dating again (my parents divorced when I was an infant) that I told her date "my dad poops in the gutters and rides cows naked"

to make more sense of this, my dad was a dairy farmer, but to my knowledge never did either of those things








sarah


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## mamabearsoblessed (Jan 8, 2003)

*OMG I'm crying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!







*
One sunday in church it was childrens storytime, up front, with a microphone (do you see where this is heading







?) and the person giving the childrens sermon was talking about how you show others you love them and how families are kind to one another and 'How does your family show love?'

so dd, who was 5 at the time, raises her hand very sweetly and takes the mic when offered, and *bellows* into it 'my mama and Daddy pile up and bounce.... IN THE BED!'

dh is the organist and up in the choir loft and we look at eachother and for a moment it was silence, dead silence, then snickers, then all out laughter.
aaahhhh, I don't embarras easily, so it was more funny than anything, but dh was mortified. The ladies in the choir were crying and there is sweet little dd with the biggest grin thinking she has the family showing amazing love....









another time we were having a tagsale and my dnephew who was about 4 at the time was up in a tree in the front yard when a women got out of her car and walked up the drive, she was a very beautiful, very dark complexion woman of color and was driving a very shiny balck sedan, she had a very elaborate black satiny hat and long swirly black dress and he yells out, 'hey Mom! that lady matches her car!'









same day, my sweet little nephew is trying to get through a group of tagsalers and he slaps the back of this woman thigh (she was wearing shorts) and proclaims "*move along fattylegs*!!"







:


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## Baby Makes 4 (Feb 18, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamabearsoblessed* 
same day, my sweet little nephew is trying to get through a group of tagsalers and he slaps the back of this woman thigh (she was wearing shorts) and proclaims "*move along fattylegs*!!"







:

Oh stop. My stomach hurts from laughing so hard.


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## cloudspinning (Feb 10, 2004)

My mom was visiting for the holidays. My ds is 4 1/2 and quite in love with his penis. He was holding a toy in front of his pants and saying, "I have a BIG penis" The following conversation ensues:

nana: "yes, you do."

ds: "daddy has a REALLY big penis."

nana (trying not to laugh): "Mhm."

ds: "have you seen it?"

nana: "No."

ds: "I have."

nana: "Mhm."

ds: "You should ask him, I know he'd let you see it if you asked him"

nana and I have to leave the room so we can laugh our bums off.































-cloudspinning


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## angelpie545 (Feb 23, 2005)

Once, we were eating dinner at a Denny's, with an older couple seated across the table from us. DD#1 was four and dd#2 was two. Dh had ordered a milkshake and shared it with dd#1. When it was all gone, dd#1 started whining for more. Dh told her that it was all gone, and showed her the cup. DD#1 gives dh a rude look, and says "a**hole!"







I was sooo embarrased!


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## Dael (Jan 1, 2007)

We where at the party of a friend of the twins, and we told them to go and get a piece of cake for themselves , and I near them and i could hear Robbie said to this big lady "Miss, with your size you souldn't be eating sugar"







:
It was so embarassing

And another one, the twins where noticing the difference between me, DH and them and we told them girls have a vagina and boys have penis so we went out and when they saw a female they point of them and say "vagina" and if they saw a male "penis"
They where 2 years old but I wanted to







:


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## maliceinwonderland (Apr 17, 2005)

I got a call from my dd's teacher last year (grade one) to let me know that dd had told a chinese girl in her class that "She wasn't a real person because she was asian". Upon further investigation, she was actually saying she wasn't a real canadian because she was asian, which isn't much better but it was a matter of dd being confused about how we have all kinds of people in Canada; Chinese, African american, Mexican etc, but we're all Canadians. She thought if you were white you were Canadian, and if you were Chinese you were Chinese, etc.
I'm actually glad the teacher called rather than bringing it up in person, because I think I shrunk about three feet during the course of the conversation.


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## operamommy (Nov 9, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ericswifey27* 
DS pronounces Percy, one of the Thomas the train characters, puss*...


Oh no! Not you too! My eldest (he's 11 now) used to do that as well - my sister still laughs about it.















: laughup

Oh my gosh - this has got to be the funniest thread EVER.


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## Jmo780 (May 3, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cloudspinning* 
My mom was visiting for the holidays. My ds is 4 1/2 and quite in love with his penis. He was holding a toy in front of his pants and saying, "I have a BIG penis" The following conversation ensues:

nana: "yes, you do."

ds: "daddy has a REALLY big penis."

nana (trying not to laugh): "Mhm."

ds: "have you seen it?"

nana: "No."

ds: "I have."

nana: "Mhm."

ds: "You should ask him, I know he'd let you see it if you asked him"

nana and I have to leave the room so we can laugh our bums off.































-cloudspinning


Omg this one had me in tears!


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## Kundalini-Mama (Jul 15, 2002)




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## mightymoo (Dec 6, 2003)

When my DD was potty training, we were living with my parents. She would do okay, but if she fell asleep for a nap she usually would wet herself and also the old couches my parents had. They were planning to replace them so I didn't sweat it. After we moved out, we went couch shopping with my mom. I explained to DD that we were looking for new couches for Grammy to replace the ones she peed on.

Well, we were in the store, testing out a likely couch, the saleslady comes over to talk to us and DD decides this is the time to insistently ask me 'Mommy, does *this* couch have pee on it?' I didn't even know what to say.


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## *clementine* (Oct 15, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mahogny* 







DH told me a similar story about DS, and I crack up just thinking about it.

About a year and a half ago, DH took DS to Target. Well, DH felt the urge, so he and DS headed to the restroom. DS was in the stall with DH, and as soon as DS figured out what was going on, he loudly announed to the rest of the people in the restroom, "Daddy's pooping!"

Holy cow, it took me 10 minutes just to type that because I kept cracking up!









I'm seriously trying not to pee my pants after reading this.


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## aiccerb (Dec 25, 2006)

roflmao! Havent laughted this hard in a long time.


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## greenlace (May 23, 2005)

this is actually something my friends kid did......

they were at target the other day and there was an emo kid (he was a dude) working the register with longish hair and her ds said "mom are they a guy or a girl?"









she whacked her ds on the head with her checkbook and the emo kid said "thanks for doing that"


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## *clementine* (Oct 15, 2004)

This isn't really funny, it's just the worst thing my littles ones have ever done-EVER.

Every long once in awhile my children are a real handful. Their energy just seems to shift, and it's not that they are being BAD per say, it's just that the stuff they do is bizarre. This was one of those days. Every time I turned around it was something.....but this took the cake.
I was almost 9 months pregnant with Ezra and I'd spent the entire day deep cleaning our house. When I was done, I plopped down at the computer to spend a few minutes relaxing.
After a few minutes I heard a small voice say "hey mom...look at me!" Exhausted, I just did the half parenting thing and without looking I said "um-hmmmm....." And a minute later another voice ....."look at us mom!!!"
It sorta clicked then that the voices were coming from up high-which made no sense, I slowly raised my eyes. Phineas and Lucia are 15 feet in the air sitting on the alcove.
We live in an old barn that's been converted into a house, and in Ariah's bedroom there is a whole house fan with a ladder that attaches to the wall and goes up to it-and an alcove. Apparently Phineas and Lucia have decided to climb up there. This whole ladder thing had been bothering me since we bought the house, but again, it's sorta built into the wall, and I haven't come up with an idea on how to remove it yet-plus the children haven't ever looked twice at it, so I'd put taking it down on the back burner until inspiration on how to do so hit.
Now remember I'm super pregnant, so me climbing up the rickety old ladder to get them down is out of the question, but Eli is at work. I'm utterly panicing. In the meantime, Phin and Loo have decided that it's hot up there and they are ready to get down but can't. Loo is leaning over the edge whimpering.
I'm hollering up to her (our celings upstairs are really really high) and telling Phineas to hold onto her so I can think ...........and I'm bawling. Oh how I am bawling. I'm just frozen in terror.
And then it occurs to me-my brillant plan-
I'll send Ariah up too. She can at least hold onto Lucia so she dosen't fall to her death.
And now all three kids are 15 feet up in the air stuck and hot and crying. Ariah can't turn around and come down the ladder because she's too scared and I'm too huge with child too come up.
And now I"m really panicing.
So I call the police and explain the situation and ask if they can send someone with a ladder to help me get the children down.
Three police cars arrive, their sirens wailing, alerting the neighbors that something is going down next door.
They come rushing into the house with a giant ladder and climb up to get my kids.
They get Lucia first, as she's the only one in real danger, and as they are bringing her down the ladder I notice that she's now naked (she'd said it was hot up there lol) but not only is she now naked with bare buns resting on the cops arm, she's covered from head to toe in dust (the one area of my house I hadn't cleaned lol) and it's stuck to her sweat.
Is it not bad enough that I had to call the police, and that my children are stuck, and that I'm bawling my eyes out....does she have to be NAKED and FILTHY when they bring her down? She'd gone up all sweet and clean-yet you'd never know by looking at her now. She literally looked like she was from the dust bowl era.
It was by far my worst parenting moment ever. Luckily we live in a small town and the police know us and our family well, or they'd have thought....well....something lol.


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## NinaBruja (Jan 19, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamatoady* 
thankfully, my daughter hasn't embarrassed me too bad yet (either that or I've blocked it out), but my mother reminds me often of when she had started dating again (my parents divorced when I was an infant) that I told her date "my dad poops in the gutters and rides cows naked"

to make more sense of this, my dad was a dairy farmer, but to my knowledge never did either of those things








sarah

OMG!








i am crying with laughter after reading this... id stop laughing enough to open my eyes, see it and start laughing all over!
its the visual im getting thats killing me!







:


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## angelcat (Feb 23, 2006)

Oh, these are so fuinny! MIne aren't nearly as funny as some, but I"ll sahre anyhow.

When Rachel was aobut 16 months old, she had really started copying everything I said. And she also liked to try to stand up in the shopping cart, so while shoppping I was constantly tellin er her "sit". So then we
d go down the asiel with her saying "sit" over & over only of course, she said it as "sh!t sh!t Sh!t" all the way down the aisle.

Another one that is oging to be a problem is my mom often refers to cats as Pussy cats, but doesn't say cat. I've told her too, and explaned why, but she doesn't get it. She's never heard the woird used that way, to her it simply means cat.

A couple weeks aog, Rachel & I were with a large group of people from church. Rachel gets a piece of kleenex, wipes her mouth and then proceeds to wipe her "girl parts". Thru her clothes, but still. I was really hoping no non ewould notice, but they all did, and had to comment that she was "just copying me". I so wante dot dissapear.

And if I think I have it bad, I was the one who used to draw anatonimcally correct jaked people. Then I'd draw clothes on them. A firend of my paretns saw one of them, either at our house or at church, I guess, and felt the need to bring it up to my mom. Now that was awkward!


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## Dael (Jan 1, 2007)

I remember another one we where in this restaurant in Guadalajara(Mexico) and Robbie fell and landed(lol) on his butt he said to me in a loud voice "Mami" and I'm like "Si?"(Yes) he starts crying and screams " Me pegao en el culoooo"(culo=ass) and in Mexico culo is a bad word but as he's being raised the Spanish way becuase he listens to DH and I when we speak Spanish, for us is not a bad word is like saying Butt for us lol
Anyway everyone in the restaurant turn around and looked at us and I heard a lady saying that Robbie was a bad boy







: but Robbie continued to cry "Me duelo culo" out loud and DH tookerd him outside it was funny lol.
I thought "Ignorants" but now is just a bad word for them lol


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## Suprakid1982 (Sep 17, 2005)

this happend with izzy age 4 at the time, and was the time i started babysitting her, i took her to an art gallery where i usually get my stuff framed at etc. and there is a girl that works there that is a friend of mine and that i have this HUGE crush on, i introdce the two ( her brother and izzy ) to them when she and her boss ask who they were, then she looks up at me and says... pan your girlfriend is REALLY REALLY pretty... they all laugh i stand there red, how red? take a apple and look at that cause thats how red i was







:






















(she btw didnt know that i liked her)

more?

this one happed to a friend of mine, shes african american and she was working at a suit store in the mall, out of the blue this adorable little girl (around 3 or 4)comes up to her and starts rubbing her skin, and then looking at her hand over and over again she looks at her and says "honey what are you doing?" the little girl says getting this stuff off you. my friend smiles and says honey thats my skin color its not goanna come off, her mom hears this and knows ( supposedly ) whats going on and starts apoligizing in every way possible







she understood tho and the lady said thanks.

this one also happend to a friend of mine her son at the time 4 said this. his dad said once the reason why some people are so fat is cause they have to fart alot and some are holding it in.

then one time she went to the store with him there was this lady, who was big he went up to her and started patting her stomach she looked down at him smiling then.... dropped it... and said " boy you really got to fart"

the lady looked at him like WELL i never... mom couldnt help laughing.









i got more that the kids i worked with said that was just OMG, ill come back to them later on.


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## mata (Apr 20, 2006)

my 3 yo dd is learning to pronounce her rather challenging Polish surname. At her preschool they're being taught to spell both of their names, and at her holiday party the director was going through child by child, asking them what their name was and how to spell it for the parents. (







-I know, I know.) Anyway, the director gets to my dd and asks her what her name is. At the top of her lungs she says her first name, and then she says "PSYCHOBITCH!" for our last name. (I hope you can imagine how funny her mispronunciation was without saying what our name is, lol-the best was the expression on the director's face!







) And humorously enough, her pronunciation isn't too far off from the real thing.


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## peike (Jul 4, 2006)

:







:







:







:


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## dukeswalker (Feb 1, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jillkuster* 
This isn't really funny, it's just the worst thing my littles ones have ever done-EVER.

Every long once in awhile my children are a real handful. Their energy just seems to shift, and it's not that they are being BAD per say, it's just that the stuff they do is bizarre. This was one of those days. Every time I turned around it was something.....but this took the cake.
I was almost 9 months pregnant with Ezra and I'd spent the entire day deep cleaning our house. When I was done, I plopped down at the computer to spend a few minutes relaxing.
After a few minutes I heard a small voice say "hey mom...look at me!" Exhausted, I just did the half parenting thing and without looking I said "um-hmmmm....." And a minute later another voice ....."look at us mom!!!"
It sorta clicked then that the voices were coming from up high-which made no sense, I slowly raised my eyes. Phineas and Lucia are 15 feet in the air sitting on the alcove.
We live in an old barn that's been converted into a house, and in Ariah's bedroom there is a whole house fan with a ladder that attaches to the wall and goes up to it-and an alcove. Apparently Phineas and Lucia have decided to climb up there. This whole ladder thing had been bothering me since we bought the house, but again, it's sorta built into the wall, and I haven't come up with an idea on how to remove it yet-plus the children haven't ever looked twice at it, so I'd put taking it down on the back burner until inspiration on how to do so hit.
Now remember I'm super pregnant, so me climbing up the rickety old ladder to get them down is out of the question, but Eli is at work. I'm utterly panicing. In the meantime, Phin and Loo have decided that it's hot up there and they are ready to get down but can't. Loo is leaning over the edge whimpering.
I'm hollering up to her (our celings upstairs are really really high) and telling Phineas to hold onto her so I can think ...........and I'm bawling. Oh how I am bawling. I'm just frozen in terror.
And then it occurs to me-my brillant plan-
I'll send Ariah up too. She can at least hold onto Lucia so she dosen't fall to her death.
And now all three kids are 15 feet up in the air stuck and hot and crying. Ariah can't turn around and come down the ladder because she's too scared and I'm too huge with child too come up.
And now I"m really panicing.
So I call the police and explain the situation and ask if they can send someone with a ladder to help me get the children down.
Three police cars arrive, their sirens wailing, alerting the neighbors that something is going down next door.
They come rushing into the house with a giant ladder and climb up to get my kids.
They get Lucia first, as she's the only one in real danger, and as they are bringing her down the ladder I notice that she's now naked (she'd said it was hot up there lol) but not only is she now naked with bare buns resting on the cops arm, she's covered from head to toe in dust (the one area of my house I hadn't cleaned lol) and it's stuck to her sweat.
Is it not bad enough that I had to call the police, and that my children are stuck, and that I'm bawling my eyes out....does she have to be NAKED and FILTHY when they bring her down? She'd gone up all sweet and clean-yet you'd never know by looking at her now. She literally looked like she was from the dust bowl era.
It was by far my worst parenting moment ever. Luckily we live in a small town and the police know us and our family well, or they'd have thought....well....something lol.









Sorry! That IS funny!


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## Gendenwitha (Apr 2, 2002)

My sister has a history of fast labors and was babysitting my 3 & 4 yo when she was pregnant with #4. Knowing there was a reasonable possibility of her giving birth with the five (3 hers, 2 mine) kids there before the midwife ever got there, we gave some REALLY in-depth birds and bees lectures, including childbirth videos etc.

Wanting to review their new learning, they decide to review it all (including vocabulary, like uterus and vagina) while we were in the laundromat. Didn't really embarrass me, but it was funny to hear the other people in the laundromat try to stifle their giggles.


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## steffanie3 (Mar 17, 2002)

:


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## Demeter9 (Nov 14, 2006)

My oldest likes to dance. I don't know how she knows how to just have the right way to dance to any music she hears. She just moves the right way.

Well we had the TV on, and a vacuum salesman managed to get into our house. We've since become less welcoming. However, he is in and my girls like to show off for guests.

Well she's really been liking dancing, and she's been taking off her clothing at every chance she gets. Music on the TV was a vibrating beat - so my 4 year old starts dancing and wiggly her clothes off. Oh man, it was very hard to stay nice and calm while asking her in a slightly pained voice to please stop.

She also yelled out my window when I was driving in a parking lot, "Hey, YOU CAN'T DRIVE GOOFY!"


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## ramlita (Mar 26, 2002)

more! more!







:


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## Paigerina (Jan 15, 2007)

This is the best thread ever.

When my cousin was three or four, he was a big fan of UPS trucks. My mom asked him if he knew what UPS stood for. He said, "You penis truck?" Everyone laughed. After that, whenever he saw a UPS truck, he would shout, "YOU PENIS TRUCK!"


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## AKmoose (Jul 25, 2003)

I'm sure if I think about, my dds have done/said some good things...but what pops to mind is actually my cousin:

M was about 5 years old, and my aunt (his mom) was out shopping with him and his best buddy (same age). They both had to pee, so she sent them into the men's restroom, while she lurkrf around nearby. Well, a long time went by...and they finally emerged. My aunt asked what they'd been doing, and nice and loud so the whole store could hear, M stated, "we were playing rocketships with our penises!"


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## peaceful_mama (May 27, 2005)

lMAO

I don't have too many yet but they are coming, he's not yet three LOL and the baby is 4 months

We're in Walmart (I know







) when DS is 18 months. He's mentioned nothing about the impending baby for a couple weeks, but out of nowhere, this is now the moment to lift my shirt to almost revealing my bra and yell BABY!!!!!!

I am waiting for the moment he lifts my shirt to tell random people in public about "Sophie's na-na's" (a word he picked up at my friend's house) Or when ppl are over and he does it....so far he has limited his curiosity to when his parents are the only witnesses LOL (I'm thinking this will have to of course happen Sunday in front of his great grandma and great aunt...)

oddly enough my child has not expressed curiosity about the differences between his and his sister's bodies yet..........but then I don't think he pays much attention to diaper time for her either.


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## an_aurora (Jun 2, 2006)

My DD is not quite two, so we are really new to the embarassing-child stage. Recently, we got a huge box of books & toys from my aunt. There was a plastic Hulk doll that has become her favorite. We were in Target and she was sitting in the cart hugging Hulk. She discovered that Hulk has several holes for the screws that hold him together. She was going all over Hulk's body sticking her fingers in the holes and saying "uh-oh, Hulk!" Well she soon discovered that Hulk has a hole...right in the seat of his pants. I'm a couple feet away looking at something and she sticks her finger in this hole (seriously, WHO would put a screw in that one place for a child's toy?!) and SCREAMS "Uh-oh mama, HULK POO-POO! Hulk POO-POO BUTT!!!" And she keeps repeating this, over and over throughout the store, holding her Hulk doll up and pointing at his bum.

Nobody ever warned me that having a 2 year old means that you can no longer discreetly pass gas when you think nobody is around. DD screams "Uh-oh, mama POO-POO! Stinky mama!"


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## Naturalyst (Feb 3, 2007)

Not embarrassing, but humorous -

My dear friend was concerned her DS might have learning delays. It seemed he couldn't make sense of letters or tie words to pictures. And, DS seemed to "loose" what he had learned prior. At his age she expected DS would have been further along, as other children seemed to be. But, in all things, DS was a free spirit and not constrained by the expectations of others ... whether to toddle faster through the mall, keep his clothes on in public ... he had his own ideas about "when" and "how".

During one visit with my friend, she was intermittently trying to help her son match letters to animals on flashcards and make words with magnetic letters on the refrigerator. It wasn't going well when the phone rang and my friend left the room to answer. As soon as she was out of earshot, her son pulled my head down and whispered the entire alphabet in my ear. Then he went over to the refrigerator and, with the magnetic letters, spelled out his name, mine, and the name of the animal on the last flashcard his mother had turned over.

As soon as he heard his mom coming back into the room, he messed-up the letter magnets and put his finger to his lips, signaling me to keep quiet. Apparently, he didn't want to bring an innocent bystander (me) into his torment of mother but needed to ensure my silence.

Sadism starts young.


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## plates (Oct 15, 2006)

"Mommy has hair on her bottom and I will have hair on my bottom when I get big"

Yea.







When she first noticed this, she couldn't get over it for a long time--she kept laughing because their was hair THERE.

More recently, talking to a physical therapist during an assessment "I have TWO mommies!!" The first time I heard about this, I thought no biggie. And then I realized what other people who didn't know us personally thought.

LMAO OH well. Forget mommy ever hooking up with the MALE physical therapist or anyone else dd tells this to.







Dd has a birthmom and then she has me--so technically in her eyes, she has TWO mommies. My mother would have been appalled and horrified at the thought that someone assumed she was gay, me on the other hand...I thought it was hilarious.


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## plates (Oct 15, 2006)

"Boobies" while popping them with her hands as if they were balls. She got a kick out of this for a while and still does it on occasion. Usually while I am having a serious conversation with another adult, embarrassing her mother to death.


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## Ivana&4Kids (May 21, 2007)

Ahhhh. We had one of those moments last Wednesday! We were all at Whole Foods doing some shopping and we passed by the *GASP* condomns and ******* said loudly,"Hey momma,don't those go on your PENIS when you dont want a baby?!" I grew extremely red and busted out laughing.


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## monkeysmommy (Apr 3, 2003)

My dd (5 yo) is very pretty and although dh and I try not to focus on it too much, she gets a lot of attention from other people because of the way she looks. So the other day we were out, and this woman said, "Oh, your daughter is sooo beautiful." I was about to reply with a thank you, when my dd piped up and said, "Yeah, yeah, I'm pretty, golden hair, blah, blah" while rolling her eyes.







:







: I was mortified *and* shocked because dd is usually very shy and hardly ever speaks to strangers!

We had a talk about it later and I told her next time she could say, "Thanks! And I'm smart too!"


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## greenmansions (Feb 16, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Naturalyst* 
Not embarrassing, but humorous -

My dear friend was concerned her DS might have learning delays. It seemed he couldn't make sense of letters or tie words to pictures. And, DS seemed to "loose" what he had learned prior. At his age she expected DS would have been further along, as other children seemed to be. But, in all things, DS was a free spirit and not constrained by the expectations of others ... whether to toddle faster through the mall, keep his clothes on in public ... he had his own ideas about "when" and "how".

During one visit with my friend, she was intermittently trying to help her son match letters to animals on flashcards and make words with magnetic letters on the refrigerator. It wasn't going well when the phone rang and my friend left the room to answer. As soon as she was out of earshot, her son pulled my head down and whispered the entire alphabet in my ear. Then he went over to the refrigerator and, with the magnetic letters, spelled out his name, mine, and the name of the animal on the last flashcard his mother had turned over.

As soon as he heard his mom coming back into the room, he messed-up the letter magnets and put his finger to his lips, signaling me to keep quiet. Apparently, he didn't want to bring an innocent bystander (me) into his torment of mother but needed to ensure my silence.

Sadism starts young.

OMG you have got to be kidding!!!







How old is her DS? I hope you told your friend what he was up to...


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## happymamajenni (Jun 2, 2004)

Just Today dd said (in line at the craft store):

"Mom, why do your boobs bounce around when you laugh?"

Me - "Let's talk about it when we get in the car"

I was thinking, "great, now everyone is looking at my boobs."


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## ramlita (Mar 26, 2002)

I'm not lookin


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## mummyto3girls (May 13, 2007)

DD1 was 2.5 years old, walked in the bathroom and DH was peeing so she then ran to me and told me "Mamma daddy has a weenie in his betweens(yah betweens lol)" and I was like "Yes, well we've already told you that boys have a penis and girls have a vagina isn't it??"
Her: "Yep, but it's like a winnie"
Me: "But it's called penis not winnie"
Her: "Okay"

and then DH walked in and we leave as we where going to our monthly grocery shopping, she didn't said anything in the car but when we arrive she asked DH
Her: "Daddy, where did your winnie go?"
DH: (confused) "What?"
Her: Yeah, your winnie, in there, you where peeing and the pee was coming out of your winnie"(she said this rather loduly so you get an idea)
DH: (embarassed)
Her: Daddy, where does your winnie goes when you poop?
DH: It stays there
Her: Is it there?
DH: Yes

So then we passed by the sausages and she screamed
"THOSE ARE LIKE DADDY'S WINNIE!!!!!!"
dh wanted to melt in there lol and then she asked "Daddy can you eat your winnie?"


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## 1hautemama (Mar 5, 2006)

DH and DD1 love to tease each other with potty humor at home, so naturally it's gonna spill over in public right? Right. We were at the doctor's office recently when Dh said to me "I'm going to talk to my senator" which is his code for going to do #2. The office is fairly busy, and DD1 runs up to the bathroom door and bellows Don't leave any crumbs!







Being seven, we all know she's deliberately trying to embarrass DH, so I repimand her about manners, etc. Well, half hour later, we're done w/ the appt and are all walking through the office on our way out when she again says loudly to DH, So, it was you who left the floater, right?


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## mata (Apr 20, 2006)

My dds have yet to embarrass me (it takes a lot)-but some things that cracked me up at the time:

was volunteering in dd's first grade class when they were doing their ocean unit. the teacher was talking about sharks and safety in the water-how to avoid attracting them by not going in the water with a bleeding cut, or urinating in the water, or....and dd pipes up in front of the class-"hey! my dad does that!!!!!!"







I have yet to tell him-he would be mortified!

and another cute one, when she was younger and the class was learning about the parents' vocations-very hard for our poor kids because even dh can't figure out how to tell people what he does for a living without totally confusing them, particularly young children-so he usually just tells dd he's a consultant. The teacher was going around the class asking the kids what their parents did, and dd says "my dad is an insultant and travels all over the world!"


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

My dd did the same thing in the Home Depot toilet. It was a "Pink Potty"! It was too late to stop her.

So, I walked out of the store and waited in the car, and let her Dad deal with it.

That was 12 years ago. I haven't been back in that store since then.


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## a-sorta-fairytale (Mar 29, 2005)

We were shopping DD was bugging to go home and watch tv and i told her too much tv was bad for her brain. She said "i know i will take out my brain and then watch tv!" Another time i told her the same thing and she just looked at me and said "i dont have a brain"

DD loves to explain the "rules" when we are out. So at the mall she is saying loudly "we dont say f*ck in the store. we dont say b*tch at school" etc

When my little bro was in kindy my mom went to family day at his class. All the other kids had a drawing up. The teacher pulled my mom aside and handed his drawing folded in half to her. My brother drew a male bear with complete anatomy.

My little sis was in school and she was to be in an inclusion class. She walked in the room and saw a bunch of people with physical disabilities and yelled "oh no LEOTARD people!"


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## Genesis (Jan 8, 2007)




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## onemoremom (Jun 8, 2007)

Not embarrassing, but cute- DS (3 1/2)told someone their clothes were pretty. Told DH he was pretty. Lots about who and what was pretty. So DH says 'isn't mommy so pretty?' and ds replies 'NO!' DH says 'I think mommy is very pretty, you don't think mommy is pretty?' and DS says 'No she's not pretty she's a HOTTIE'









His favorite joke/insult is to tell someone 'you eat poop'. Or 'you're a poop and you eat poop'.


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## mommy68 (Mar 13, 2006)

Just today we were at the grocery store and while on the aisle with the canned goods my 5 y o dd said very loudly _"mommy, are you going to buy some fart beans?"_







My other children were laughing their butts off and yes, there was someone else standing there that probably heard her. Kids!


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## ramlita (Mar 26, 2002)

More! More!







:


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## doulatara (Jun 20, 2006)

When my daughter was three she and I went to an outdoor concert with a group of friends. After the show, we took a shuttle bus back to the parking lot where the car was parked. It was late and there was nothing open in the area, and I really had to pee...so I squatted in the bushes and thought nothing of it. Several days later we were at a family party, and I walk into a room to hear dd saying this:

"Most of the time, my mommy pees in the toilet. But sometimes, she pees in the bushes like a dog."

Because of all the laughter she got from it, she went on to tell just about anyone we encountered for the next couple of weeks.


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## annekevdbroek (Jun 5, 2005)

Oh this thread is an oldie but goodie.

DS1 (4 1/2), DS2 (10 months), and I had friends for dinner: one of DS's playmates (also 4), his mom, and little sister (almost 2). We are all eating dinner at the table.

Friend: Yeah, we don't say shut-up
Friend's Mom: Right. We don't say that.
Me: Yup, we don't say that
DS1 : And we don't say F*CK

His friend's mom and I almost fell out of our chairs. I had to give a straight response without giggling. Too funny. FWIW, I did not teach him that word. He learned it from one of his other 4 y/o friends.


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## happyhippiemama (Apr 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *doulatara* 

"Most of the time, my mommy pees in the toilet. But sometimes, she pees in the bushes like a dog."


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## Ashersmum (Nov 12, 2006)

These are so funny!
Last Halloween we took Ds1 out trick or treating for the first time. We knocked at one house and the man who opened the door was wearing a trick pair of glasses with fake big eyes in the frames. Ds is usually a bit scared of things like this so to make light of it as we walked away I said, "Funny man! What silly glasses!" A few houses later we knocked at another door and the man who answered was wearing a regular pair of corrective glasses. Of course ds said right to his face, "Funny man! What silly glasses!"


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## IndyNanny (Sep 20, 2007)

I can think of a few! When my DD was small, she loved to tease her dad about being Mama's girl, not Daddy's. She was totally a Daddy's girl, btw! She gave him a rather weak kiss on the cheek once and DH said "That's it? Aren't you gonna make it smack?" My DD kinda looked and us funny, then slaps him across the face!

I nanny, so these are about the kiddos I care for:
My, then 2yo, was playing on the climber at the park. While standing on top, she saw a squirrel in the leaves collecting nuts. She yells, at the TOP of her lungs "Hey, L, look at that squirrel licking his nuts!" I apparently didn't answer fast enough, because she repeated!

The same child, now 3, has taken to putting on her "lipstick" (chapstick). When hers is unavailable she'll borrow mine. You know how they love to go round and round with it until they have layers on their mouths? Her 5yo brother was watching her and wanted some also. He asked me if it was really the color M had on. I told him it's really clear, she just puts on a little too much. He puts it on and hands it back saying "I'm done. Mine looks better because I only did 2 laps".


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## CowsRock (Aug 1, 2005)

more, more!


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## zerby (Mar 28, 2004)

My DD who is 4 1/2, had recently taken to having this convo with everyone...

DD: I am almost 5.
Everyone else: Really? (or something along those lines)
DD: I'll be a big girl when I'm 5, not little.
Everyone else: Really? (or something along those lines)
DD: And when I am 5, I'll get big milky oobies like mommies, and a tatoo that doesn't wash off, cause I'll be big.
Everyone else: usually silence paired with a look to me

Yea, so my daughters goals in life are to have big lactating breasts and a tatoo...really, she gets exposed to other things, I swear!


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## amyescott (Mar 13, 2007)

I have massive insomnia, and boy, this thread is making it easier to deal with!! Thanks for all the great stories. I am on the laptop, in bed, shaking from keeping the laughter in so that I don't wake the baby!!


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## mamasgroovin (Nov 27, 2006)

While at a prenatal visit for #4 with ds3 who was 3.5...
I told him that while Mommy was at the doctor they needed to check to see if the baby was ready to come soon, and said he needed to say seated in his chair while she did this. Well, you know what they say, curiosity killed the cat.

So I'm laying on the table assuming the position that we are all oh-so-familiar with, doc is checking my cervix when ds3 shouts out with eyes as big as saucers in a voice that did not match his tiny body,
*"MOM!! *gasp* Why did your ba-gina get SOOOO big when she put her that thing in there?!?!?!?"*

OMG. Thought I would die. I told him we'd talk all about it when we got to the car. The OB was trying her hardest not to crack up.


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## mamasgroovin (Nov 27, 2006)

OK, I have another one. Same kid. Now a year and a half older at the park with my father who NEVER watches my kids (any of them







). They are having a dandy time (I'm at a doctor's appt, or something) then Reed starts going up to all the strangers in the park and says, "I remember when I was breastfeeding. I have an incredible memory." My _poor_ father, Mr. Prim and Proper. He was most embarrassed. And yes, that was the last time he ever offered to be around any of his grand kids solo.


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## ramlita (Mar 26, 2002)

and


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## MaxMommy (Feb 16, 2007)

OMG these are funny!

We are on vacation and have just come back from swimming. Ds and I are showering. The shower stall is big and it echos. I know the walls are not sound proof as I can hear our neighbors.

Ds says, in his clear, loud voice. "Mom, Mom, MOM LOOK, YOU'RE DRIPPING FROM YOUR BIG HAIRY!!!"

I say, quietly, "that's my vulva, use an indoor voice please"

Louder still "MOM, YOUR DRIPPING FROM YOUR BIG HAIRY VULVA!!!!"

Our neighbors smiled whenever we met in the hallway


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## linzogonzerelli (Jun 30, 2005)

I was using a public restroom with DD and DS when DS (who was 4 at the time) yells, "MOM, YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU DON'T HAVE A PENIS!"


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## perl (Jan 17, 2006)

DS was really attached to a handful of pistachios and just *had* to take them out to the mailbox with him. On the way back he tripped and fell. Of course, he dropped his precious cargo and was really upset about the whole thing.

The entire cul-de-sac could hear him as he wailed "MY NUTS!!! WAAAAH! MY NUTS!!!!!"

He also likes to notify me when he gets one of those random erections:

"Mommy my penis is getting long! But it will get small again." Um, okay, thanks for sharing.


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## amcal (Jan 13, 2003)

I am about 30lbs over my ideal weight. I don't talk about weight around my kids but my 5.5 yo is very aware of health and has asked me if I'm healthy because of my big belly. We talk about how every is made differently and that mommy is exercising and working on being as healthy as I can be.

So, were sitting around at a family gathering - tons of people around and the TV is on. There is a commercial for Slim Fast and my DD yells in a really loud voice "Mommy!!!! You need to drink this shake to get rid of your big belly!!!" Nice....


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## mamasgroovin (Nov 27, 2006)

OK, so this is a good one. I went out with dh last night and was telling him about this hilarious thread, and so he chimes in and says, "Oh, so I supposed you told them about the time..."









My husband was arrested for PI at a gambling boat SEVERAL years ago (I'm shocked that I forgot this). In his defense he really had sprained both ankles and decided not to shave while off work for a week due to his injuries. He didn't look so hot.







He demanded a breathalizer but they refused. The whole thing was actually really screwed up. So I am all pissed off and now I have to go bail his sorry carcass out of the pokey with our then 2 children in tow who are maybe 9 mos and 3 ish.

So now to the funny part. A month or two had past, I had decided to get portraits of the boys at Sears to give away as Christmas presents, along with the rest of the Tri-State area. We are waiting among the masses when ds1 pipes up as he points at a handicapped payphone and says, "Look mama!! They have the same kind of phone here they had at the jail when we had to bail Daddy out!"

THAT was embarrassing.


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## mamasgroovin (Nov 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amcal* 
I am about 30lbs over my ideal weight. I don't talk about weight around my kids but my 5.5 yo is very aware of health and has asked me if I'm healthy because of my big belly. We talk about how every is made differently and that mommy is exercising and working on being as healthy as I can be.

So, were sitting around at a family gathering - tons of people around and the TV is on. There is a commercial for Slim Fast and my DD yells in a really loud voice "Mommy!!!! You need to drink this shake to get rid of your big belly!!!" Nice....

They do love to push those buttons, don't they? We had a contractor here to bid our basement job a couple of weeks ago and I told ds3 that this was the guy who was going to put walls up and nice soft carpet to sit and play on. And he says, "Will it be as soft as your tummy?"







:


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## WonderWild (May 13, 2004)

"Mommy your pee pee is hairy. I can see it, right there." This was in a public restroom.


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## Awaken (Oct 10, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamasgroovin* 
ds3 shouts out with eyes as big as saucers in a voice that did not match his tiny body,
*"MOM!! *gasp* Why did your ba-gina get SOOOO big when she put her that thing in there?!?!?!?"*

OMG. Thought I would die. I told him we'd talk all about it when we got to the car. The OB was trying her hardest not to crack up.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *MaxMommy* 
I say, quietly, "that's my vulva, use an indoor voice please"
















:


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## acannon (Nov 21, 2007)

Old yet hilarious thread


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## musikat (Oct 30, 2002)

I haven't had a chance to read all the threads, but I read enough to see some similar to this. For me it has to be, hands down, the time we were on an overnight train and there was an African American family sitting in front of us. They had a child about my oldest's age (about 2 at the time) and an older son about 8-9. My son was playing with them and we were all having a nice time. Then their older son fell asleep. MY son looks at him and announces, in a voice all could hear, "monkey sleeping." Needless to say all conversation stopped after that!


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## embers (Mar 24, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *musikat* 
I haven't had a chance to read all the threads, but I read enough to see some similar to this. For me it has to be, hands down, the time we were on an overnight train and there was an African American family sitting in front of us. They had a child about my oldest's age (about 2 at the time) and an older son about 8-9. My son was playing with them and we were all having a nice time. Then their older son fell asleep. MY son looks at him and announces, in a voice all could hear, "monkey sleeping." Needless to say all conversation stopped after that!

Oh my gosh!


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## chaimom (Aug 22, 2007)

A boy in my son's kindergarten class was "star student" and had to get in front of the class to talk about some of his favorite things. This boy couldn't say the "K" sound and substituted the "T" sound for "K".

He told the kids he had recently visited his grandma and that she had new "titties." And he LOVES cuddling her "titties"... they're so soft and sweet. All the adults in the classroom were cracking up while also being slightly horrified. The kids knew exactly what he was talking about!-- (Kitties.)


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## HarperRose (Feb 22, 2007)

Ok, this happened just a few weeks ago.

DD, 6 yrs old, is very into barbies and princesses and has several of various "skin tones" to play with, as well as MANY friends w/ darker skin than we have (We're a white family.). We don't make a thing out of it, we don't care. You know?

We were at a funeral for an acquaintance and had all 3 kids in tow. This acquaintance was a black woman. So we're sitting there in this very quiet room waiting for the funeral to begin and dd kind of loudly whispers, "Mom, why are there so many BLACK ppl here?"

We were sitting in a row w/ a black person, sitting behind a row of black ppl, sitting in front of a black couple...

I wanted to crawl under the chair.







:


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## amcal (Jan 13, 2003)

A few months back my 4.5 yo got laryngitis. She went around telling everyone she had lara-my-gina.


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## EnviroBecca (Jun 5, 2002)

Quote:

"Sh%&!", I exclaimed, one day after dropping something on my foot in Walmart. Kyllian was quick to point out my naughtiness. Over and over and over again.

"Mommy, you shouldn't say sh%&. Sh%& is a bad word. It isn't nice to say sh%&. Instead of sh%& you should say Tarter Sauce because sh%& is a bad word. Don't say sh%& anymore. Sh%& isn't nice to say."

"Okay, Kyllian," I responded while half the store looked at us in amazement. "I won't say that anymore but you shouldn't say it either."

"But, Mommy," he replied, "I didn't say sh%&. You said sh%& and that's bad!"
This reminds me of a game one of my friends invented when we were in college: In a public place, you say to your companion, "Did you just say 'penis'?" (It doesn't matter if he did say "penis", said something that sounds like it, said something completely different, or hadn't spoken for the past hour--this is how you start the game.) Your companion says, slightly louder, "No, I didn't say 'penis'; you're the one who said 'penis'." You say, a little louder than that, "I did not say 'penis'; I distinctly heard YOU say 'penis'!" And so on. First person to be too embarrassed to say it louder is the loser.









I hadn't thought of this game in a long time until we went to a reunion of our college social club last weekend. Another friend had brought her 4-year-old daughter, who during lunch announced in a slightly-too-loud voice, "Mmmm, I just love peanuts!" Her mom whipped around from another conversation to say to the inventor of the above game, "DON'T. START."









My son has done very few really embarrassing things so far...except to request "the story of The Three Ladies and the Boss" in public places; that's the plot of the movie _9 to 5_, of which he happened to see a few minutes on TV that so intrigued him that he demanded the whole story. He thinks it is a folktale akin to "The Three Bears". Imagine the looks I get when people on a crowded bus overhear me telling my sweet little child a tale of stealing a dead body from a hospital!


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