# *really* young mommas!



## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

i was wondering if there were any other *really* young mommas out there. i am 21 and on my 3rd. we started at 17 (18 when she was born). i'd love to get to know some younger moms or moms who have been through it to discuss in particular the stigma society places on us being so young.


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## Lizzo (Jul 26, 2005)

I know I count for this one!
I got pregnant with DS at 16. He was due on my 17th birfday but came almost two weeks later, giving mama more time to grow up.
Then, this past May, at 18 I got pregnant,but lost the baby in July, at weeks due to low progesterone b/c of breastfeeding. The pregnancy was a surprise, like my DS's.
THEN I am now 9 weeks pregnant with yet another surprise(DP and I have, as my mom like to say, a 100% failure rate when it comes to birth control!)
I am a midwifery apprentice, a doula and a happy womyn.
We moved into our first apartment in August(thank goddess b/c living with my family, who is very cool and I love- drove me nuts!







: )
And today, a little kitten joined our family...yes, another surprise!!!








There are ups and downs, but overall I love being a young mama!


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## Marlet (Sep 9, 2004)

We planned my DD and I got pregnant at 18.5 and she was born 2 months after I turned 19. I'm now 20.5 and we are planning our second. The half year mark must get me.









Most people are pretty good about it but I get a ton of "how to's" in the tone of I'm too young to know what I'm doing. Irritating as hell.


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## *mama moose* (Oct 12, 2006)

not sure if I count or not, but I figured if not you guys can just kick me out








I got pregnant with DD at 19 and just had her in August (age 20). People were fairly judgemental when I was pregnant, but now that shes here I don't get as many comments or looks (besides the ones i get for NIP and babywearing....and overall just being crunchy LOL)
The only thing that bugs me is that most moms I meet that are my age are not into AP parenting. Most are not even breastfeeding, and think I'm weird. So I'm sorta stuck with no friends, I'm too young to hang out with any AP mamas I meet (who are usually in their late 20s or 30s and live in nicer parts of town/other towns....I live in a somewhat poor area of town),or I have nothing in common with moms I meet who live near me and are my age....sigh.
anyways, hi fellow young mamas!
and again, if I'm over that age cusp of VERY young, feel free to let me know!


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## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

yay! i'm not the only one! lol

we get sooooo much crap. i love when people find out we're 21 and pregnant and they try and tell us what we need to do and blah blah blah and we smile and say 'well, this is our third' and they look faint. and when you add our crunchiness to the mixture well then we're just young and naive and raising spoiled brats.

but we still love being young. if no just to prove them wrong. lol
i agree that most teen moms are anything but AP. i was shopping for birthday stuff for my oldest who just turned 3 and i ran into a young mom who was totally ignoring hr daughter. well her daughter (prob. about 2) was trying to get her attention and yelled at her and the mom grabbed a bag of ballons off he shelf and started hitting her over the head with it. she urned around and i just shook my head at her and walked away. ACK!!


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## homemademomma (Apr 1, 2004)

i got pg with ds just a few days shy of turning 20. im 23 now and have an almost 3 year old and a 4 month old!! my second was (purposefully) concieved on my first pp ovulation. tbh i dont consider myself a "young" mama (maybe its just that the kids have aged me lol), but i know by our societies standards i am!! i had both my kids at home. my 1st was born smack dab in the middle of my midwifery training, so that got put off a bit. i finally just got my license in june ( a week before dd was born!) and since sept have been workibg pt (2 days call/one day clinic a week) at the birth center that i have worked with in varying capacities for almost 4 years. it is perfect bc i am home waay more than i am not (my 2 days of call are spent at home, unless of course i go to a birth, but i get paid for them either way), and that along with my 2 nights a week cbe classes gives us enough money so dp only has to work 2 days a week, so he is home when i am not and we get a lot of time together as a family. not to mention the fact that i LOOOOOOOVE my job!! i feel sometimes like i have to defend the fact that i have 2 kids and work a (percieved to be) stressful job, but it works so well in our family, and we are all really happy.


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## Chronic Chrissy (Sep 4, 2006)

I got pg at 18 had her at 19. just htought I'd say hi.


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## *andiflipping* (Oct 24, 2005)

subbing....


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## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

so how old are your DH/SOs? Robbie is 20 (a few months younger than me).


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## zjande (Nov 4, 2002)

Hi guys, I'm not a young mama anymore, in fact I'm nearing 33 now, but I totally wanted to sneak in here & say something. Then I'll go back to my "old lady mama" threads.









1. OMG I would have been SOOoOSOOoo happy to have had something like MDC back when I had my dd at age 17 (there was no internet back then). I was ecstatic to become a mama. I was AP, used cloth diaps & co-slept etc. LONG before I heard the term "AP". I knew absolutely no one who parented like me for many, many years. An online board such as this would have been such a blessing. You guys are super lucky.







I'm so glad you are here!

2. I also had a tough time finding friends. I didn't even begin to feel like I related to other mamas until I was about 30. I had my dd at 17 then my ds at 23 & was a super happy AP young mama. When I reached 30 I felt like other women were *finally* catching up to me, finally having their 1st babies, & I finally started meeting other mamas that parented like me. Otherwise, most of my friends were childless & now & then it would make me really sad that I couldn't find mama friends.

Anyway, um, now I can't remember if I had a real point or if I was just gonna babble about myself.









Rock on with your bad selves young mamas.


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## Sugar Magnolia (Feb 22, 2005)

Hey all! I am so glad there are other young mamas around. I am 24 and so is dh.

Now that ds is in school, people ask how old I am all the time. People can be so rude. I love telling them and then watching their faces as they do the math in their heads..."that means she was 19 when she had him".

Amy


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## BeBe123 (May 25, 2006)

Hi everyone!
I'm 22 . I have a 4.5yo DS and a 2yo DD. I love being a young mama! But i hate being called a "MILF".


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## vanessab23 (Nov 9, 2005)

kristen-- just looked at your blog/photos-- you are such a cute little family!


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## kyndmamaof4 (Jul 25, 2006)

Hi there from a once really young mama







I am 27, now, but I had my first child at 19, then #2 at 22, then #3 at almost 25, and #4 at 26. What I really love is when people try to give me advice when the baby and I are out and about, and I'm like you should see the other 3 at home







I look young for my age anyhow, so people are super suprised when they find out how many kids I have. Just thought I would say hi, and tell ya that still at 27 I "feel" the stigma thay b/c I'm young that I don't have a clue what I'm doing. Good luck, all you young mamas, you've got a running start already, just by finding this place!

Kaara


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## cfiddlinmama (May 9, 2006)

Ok, I'll bite! I'm Clara. I'm almost 23 and I have 4 kids. I had dd1 at 16, ds1 at 17, ds2 at 19 and dd2 at 21! EVERYONE thinks I'm crazy! Yes, they all have the same dad, yes I know what "causes" them, and yes I'm a great mom! I love being a young mom. I recover from childbirth super fast, I have lots of energy to play crazy games with my kids, and I'm still young enough to remember what it was like to be a kid - which is a big plus I think! I've always been mature for my age, and I feel like I know more and have more experience than people twice my age. Part of the problem is that people look at most kids my age, or think how they were at my age, and assume I'm just irresponsible. I'm not! Oh, dh is 27. We've been married almost 7 years. I love being a mom!

Lizzo, I had no idea you were "young"! I've always admired your posts, esp. how you are a midwife etc. It's awesome, you're even younger than me!

It's so cool to see 2 young midwives on here! It is my dream to be a midwife. I'm hoping I could get the online school out of the way and then when I can get my apprenticeship done. My dh is going to school to be a firefighter. Once he gets a job, he'll have a lot of days off. I'm hoping we can work it so that I can do shifts with my midwife while he's home. Do any of you have opinions on the Ancient Art of Midwifery Institute? It's all online. I don't think I could swing it to go to school outside of the home.

Anyways, it's awesome to see all you wonderful "young" mamas on here. We've had a couple of young mama tribes but they always fizzle out. Maybe we could keep this one going? Have a great day!


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## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

cfiddlinmama- i love you! lol i'm in a very similar boat and we alway get the 'are you married?' 'are they all from the same father?' 'are you on welfare?' ACK! we didn't really *want* 3 at 21 but we love our kiddos and wouldn't change anything ever!


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## bjorker (Jul 25, 2005)

I had dd at 20, which is fairly young I suppose. I'm 22 now, getting closer to 23. I don't feel young, and didn't then... and to add to the fun, dp is a lot older than me. He just turned 38. It's a non-issue for us, and honestly I'm suprised how little we've heard about it. Nobody seems to have an issue with it, which is fabulous. In fact, _he's_ the one that needs to grow up.









People seem to find my crunchiness a lot more objectional, sadly. My mom just went on another rant the other day, this time about co-sleeping... and how so-n-so friend of hers is trying to get their 2.5 yr old out of their room and into his own bed, and are having trouble. She always has a friend to use as an example how something I am doing is bad. The difference is, I'm not going to try and kick dd out of the bed, ever. She can go into her own room when she's ready.
...but I guess I'm rambling about that on the wrong thread, eh? oopsie.

Overall point being... I think the reason why having babies young is often objectional is that we're viewed as not being ready to care for babies, haven't grown up yet ourselves, whatever. Which sometimes may be true, but also may be true for a 35-year-old. Everybody is different. I don't think anybody on this board who very likely has the capacity to think for themselves is going to be that type of person. My sister, who is 37, would be a horrible candidate for being a mother. She still parties all the time and basically can only think about herself. She wouldn't have a clue, and probably never will. I did at 20.

I've never seen the benefits of judging someone solely on age.


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## bjorker (Jul 25, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *magstphil* 
cfiddlinmama- i love you! lol i'm in a very similar boat and we alway get the 'are you married?' 'are they all from the same father?' 'are you on welfare?' ACK! we didn't really *want* 3 at 21 but we love our kiddos and wouldn't change anything ever!

I can't believe people will actually ask you that! How incredibly *RUDE!*
















I often hear (from people I know), "Where _are_ you gonna get married?"

... except I don't really believe in marriage. I am not unwed because I'm young, or anything to do with the state of our relationship. I am unwed because I don't find it important, and I don't agree with the system. People really shouldn't make assumptions and mind their own damn business.


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## MichelleAnnette (Aug 20, 2006)

You all make me feel old, but it makes me happy to see this thread! I am 22 and pg with #1. DH and I are in school (same school) and we have zero married friends. We're having kids before anyone we know is getting married. I'm graduating in May, but I kind of recently figured out that I want to be a midwife or childbirth educator or something in that field. Makes it hard to finish the stupid engineering degree that I have no plans of ever using... I don't know if I'll be able to make it happen in the near future because we want lots of kids and I plan to homeschool, but it is encouraging to see young mamas on being midwives.


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## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

i have noticed that most young people i know aren't married and don't want kids, even if they have them. (the teen pregnancy rate in my area is huuuuge). others seem to take that part of youth in America and apply it to everyone. so we couldn't possibly *want* to be married or have children. it must be because we made a big mistake and are paying for it. eeeediots!


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## Amylcd (Jun 16, 2005)

DH and I are 23... and currently pregnant with our 3rd baby








Our first was at 19, second at 20.


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## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zjande* 
Hi guys, I'm not a young mama anymore, in fact I'm nearing 33 now, but I totally wanted to sneak in here & say something. Then I'll go back to my "old lady mama" threads.









Me too. I'm just 33 and have a 7 week old dd - and a three year old dd and a nine year old ds and a thirteen year old ds.

I still look young and the number of times people have assumed that dd1 is my first then almost fall over when I say I have a 13 year old are too many to count







Most of our friends of a similar age haven't had their first yet.

I have no regrets about having my children young although ds1 says by the time we are rich he will have left home!

Keep your chins up and ignore the naysayers.


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## ICU812 (Oct 3, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zjande* 
Hi guys, I'm not a young mama anymore, in fact I'm nearing 33 now, but I totally wanted to sneak in here & say something. Then I'll go back to my "old lady mama" threads.









1. OMG I would have been SOOoOSOOoo happy to have had something like MDC back when I had my dd at age 17 (there was no internet back then). I was ecstatic to become a mama. I was AP, used cloth diaps & co-slept etc. LONG before I heard the term "AP". I knew absolutely no one who parented like me for many, many years. An online board such as this would have been such a blessing. You guys are super lucky.







I'm so glad you are here!

2. I also had a tough time finding friends. I didn't even begin to feel like I related to other mamas until I was about 30. I had my dd at 17 then my ds at 23 & was a super happy AP young mama. When I reached 30 I felt like other women were *finally* catching up to me, finally having their 1st babies, & I finally started meeting other mamas that parented like me. Otherwise, most of my friends were childless & now & then it would make me really sad that I couldn't find mama friends.

Anyway, um, now I can't remember if I had a real point or if I was just gonna babble about myself.









Rock on with your bad selves young mamas.









I'm with ya mama, I'm an old mama now too, 30ish







and i too would've loved to have MDC when i was pg at 17, but now that i'm 30 i would Never turn back the clock, I LOVE being 30!
Its great having ya Young Mama's!


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## mamamilkbar (Jun 28, 2005)

I'm 18 and with 2! Had DD1 when I was 17. Now with dd2 and will be 20 in december! subbing for now as i'm nak!

ETA: DH is 21 like i said before i'm 19 will be 20 in dec... I will be starting to become a LLL leader soon and also start on become a LC. I probably won't be done for a while. I would love being a midwife someday but I will have to move to another state! so we would be allowed to birth at home!


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## wende (Oct 4, 2003)

I'm not so young anymore but I was 15 when I had my first, 18 when I had my second, just 22 (like within days) when I had my 3rd and have since had my 4th and 5th. I get all sorts of looks, especially considering my 14yo is taller than me by at least 3inches. One woman was quite confused when she found out that Kendra was mine as well as my 18month old. She didn't believe that I was old enough to have a daughter as old as Kendra and thought Kendra was Áine's mom. The craziest thing in the world is to realize that your daughter is now the same age as you were when you got pregnant with her! Thank goodness she's never even had a boyfriend, lol.


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## naturallia (May 26, 2005)

Hello-

I got pregnant with my first at 13 (stillbirth) and ttc starting at 16 and got pregnant at 17, another stillbirth, then had a live birth at 18. They thought I was so young and I told them I'd been TTC since 16 years old and they just drop their jaws to the floor and think I'm being stupid.

I'm now 25, married to DH, with a new baby boy born 7/06. At 25, I still feel like I'm a young mom.


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## heatherbell (Jun 8, 2005)

I just wanted to jump in on this thread as well. I'm 23 and have two kiddos. I've been married for almost four years. I wouldn't change a thing either









I hate the rude comments that we get on occasion.

"You do know what causes children, right?"
"You're such the typical military wife."
"Are you ever going to finish college?"
"Don't you feel like you're missing out on being a kid?"

It stings at times but I wouldn't trade all of the gummy grins in the world for a different life.


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## cfiddlinmama (May 9, 2006)

How cool that there are moms on here who had their first younger than I did! I always feel like the youngest.









naturallia - I'm so sorry for your stillbirths. That must have been so very hard.


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## LilMama23 (Jul 8, 2005)

I was 18 when I got pregnant and 19 when I had DD. I'm now 20.







It's very hard being a young mama, but I wouldn't trade it for anything!!


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## heamae (Nov 9, 2005)

Hi. I'm 21. Dh is 22. Had DD1 a month b4 I turned 20 and DD2 at 21. I love being a young mom. I cant believe how fast I bounced back from giving birth. I havent gotten any comments about being young but I swaer I get looks like ppl think Im the babysitter until I NIP.


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## mrsc (Oct 24, 2006)

I was 18 when I got pregnant and just had my DD a month ago at 19. Dh is 25.Dh and I have been married a little over a year. I love being a young mom. I haven't gotten any comments about my age yet.


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## lovebug (Nov 2, 2004)

im not a mama yet....may i still join?

im young (22) and have been TTC for almost 1 1/2 years....

i know what you are going through because i get this all the time!

"you are to young! why dont you wait?"
or
"you have you whole life ahead of you. do you really want this now?"

DH get home from Iraq in a few weeks and i hope and pray everyday that i will get PG this time around!


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## ~Demeter~ (Jul 22, 2006)

I am not so young anymore (27) but I started pretty young. I had ds1 at 15 then became pregnant with ds2 at 18, got married to dh a few days before my 19th birthday and had ds2 a few mos later. Ds3 came about 6 weeks after my 22nd birthday. (trying to convince dh that another could be fun!) I despise the steroetype that is placed on young moms.. it used to really get to me. I stayed in school after I had ds1 and I can remember my dean telling me that having children was not part of their curriculum.







: I told her at least I wanted to finish school and make something of myself and that it was wrong of her to be so judgemental and harsh. My family was very supportive (disappointed maybe but supportive) and I think that was a definite blessing. I don't think having a family young is for everybody but I sure wouldn't change my experience for the world. I love that I had my boys young and how they have shaped me as I shaped them.

Anyway that is my story and it is great to see other young mama's out there that don't fall in to the sterotypical young mom category..


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## kittywitty (Jul 5, 2005)

Hi, all! I am 23. I have a 5yo, 4yo, and newly 2 yo. I get all the nasty looks and comments, too. Last time I got a very blatant one was on my birthday and some older lady behind me in line at the restaurant made some comments about me being too young and these being "all my kids". I gave the death stare and she apologized.









I have decided to stop being civil about it. Midlife crisis, this is the last thing I need to worry about.









I was 16 when I got pg with dd#1. They actually told me I would never have kids and I got pregnant 3 weeks after my myomectomy (it was pretty major surgery).

I wouldn't trade them for anything. I am glad I had them young. They gave me direction and a life perspective. I wouldn't have it any other way.

I do have a couple of friends with kids (very young, too) who whine all the time about how they wish they'd never had kids and how they "ruined their lives". It is very sad.


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## Aura_Kitten (Aug 13, 2002)

i was 18 when i had my 1st too.







mine are 2 and 6.

i get a LOT of comments about the fact i'm "a youngin' " and i should wait before giving any advice or anything until i "have a few more years under my belt."


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## Chronic Chrissy (Sep 4, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *magstphil* 
so how old are your DH/SOs? Robbie is 20 (a few months younger than me).

I'm 20 and Dh is 34.


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## Lizzo (Jul 26, 2005)

My DP is only 5 mons older than me...he turned 19 this month.


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## mamatoLL (Sep 28, 2006)

just thought Id say Hi! I had my first at 18. and my second at 20! Im 20 now and we will be TTC our third in a year or so. Some people say to me but you missed out on all the adult fun? And I say No I didn't Im smart we will have fun when we are older and have the money to do it!


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

You're not *really* young, just young.

I'm 22 and had my third September last year. I had my first at 16, dd at 19 and ds2 at 21.


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## roomformore (Apr 28, 2006)

Well, I'm the ripe old age of 27 now, but I was 20 when I had twins. Dh and I have been married for 8 years. I had no friends married, let alone knew anyone with kids, when we started our family. Since having my boys I've started and finished a BSc and completed the first half of a Masters program. I should be done this coming summer with my MA and starting chiropractic college next winter. Our next child is due this December. Apparently, I don't look 27, because I keep getting comments on how I'm so young to be starting my family- I love the look on their faces when I tell them I have two 6 yr olds at home already! I don't think I've missed out on anything by being a young parent! Neither I, not DH, would change a thing! We have so much fun with our boys and can't wait for this next one to get here!


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## Haydee (Jan 10, 2006)

I'm 21 now, raising a 9 year old and a 4 year old.







Want to do the math on that one?







I got pregnant at 16 with DS, had him when I was 17. I've been raising DD since she was 5, I was 17, and I now have custody of her even though I'm not with her father. You should see the jaws drop when I walk into places with her. Everyone assumes I'm her sister or something.

Just today I got a rude comment about my age from the school psychologist. I wrote about it in my thread in Single Parenting.. I'll copy/paste some of that in here for you. For more backround on our situation you can check my thread over there or just ask.

Quote:

I got so upset with the school psychologist today. She knows we're considering a residential placement - but that's at a psychological group home - where they do passes home, family therapy, etc. The school psychologist today suggests foster care, because "Well... wouldn't it be so helpful to her to be in a two parent home, where she is the only child.. plus, your so young." AGGHHHH!! Since when do you discriminate against me because I'm a 21 year old single mother to two amazing children?!?! I told DD's therapist (who has been working with DD and me for a long time and knows DD and our family very well) and she said that I do an amazing job with DD, that foster parents are NOT specially trained in special needs children, and since when was I giving up custody of her?! Plus she has yet to show any of her behaviors at the school, because of the RAD, so they don't have any idea what I'm dealing with. They make me so mad.


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## desertpenguin (Apr 15, 2005)

sweet, lovin this thread. i got pregnant at 17 and had ds at 18. i'm 20 now and dh is 21.

it's nice to see so many young crunchy mommas here, and even cooler to see how many of us are intrested in becoming midwives, etc!!!

whoever mentioned AAMI...oh man, that is soooo the school i want to attend. their beliefs are so in line with my beliefs and i like that they aren't MEAC accredited. everything i have heard about the education that they provide is that it is thorough and rigorous, which is good. and it's nice to be able to do it from home. i don't feel like the time is right (financially or emotionally) for me to start my formal midwifery education, so i'm really wanting to see about becoming a CBE first through ALACE (maybe) and afterwards also get accredited through Birth Works. i have to get my driver's license first though and make some sort of income because we can't afford any of it at all right now. so hopefully in a few months, maybe after we get our tax return.


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## Lizzo (Jul 26, 2005)

I wouldn't worry much about MEAC accrediation. It's easier in some aspects I suppose, but I am really happy just apprenticing, the tradtional way. Of course, it isn't always easy to find a preceptor.
I am planning to get my CPM, but I need to start keeping better track of the births and prenatals I;ve done!


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## Cherie2 (Sep 27, 2006)

Hi, I came across this thread and wanted to chime in. I had my first at 20 and am now a grandma at 39. My dd is a very young mom 17 but was 16 when her ds was born. I thought I would take a peek and see what the young mamas are talking about and realized I was one too (just not anymore). My dd young mama is having some trouble maybe some of you going thru it can help me help her. She seems to have some trouble really embracing her responsibility. She just seems to expect others to cover childcare and baby needs for her (ie diapers, clothes) it would be nice if she at least acknowledged or thanked people for this help. She really loves her ds but she just seems like she does not have "enough" for him. How much help do you all get. How do you handle splitting your "you" time/energy and "baby" time/energy?


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## Cherie2 (Sep 27, 2006)

hey, where are you young mama's? bump


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## pilesoflaundry (Dec 9, 2003)

I'm 24 and have 3 kids. My youngest was born 3 months after my 21st birthday so I've been there! I don't get much crap anymore but I did when ds was born, he is almost 8 now. I was 16 when he was born. I look older and my dh is in the military so it's sorta common to be a younger mom so I think people figure I'm a little bit older and had my son at like 19ish.


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## DuckyTate (Aug 11, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *magstphil* 
i was wondering if there were any other *really* young mommas out there. i am 21 and on my 3rd. we started at 17 (18 when she was born). i'd love to get to know some younger moms or moms who have been through it to discuss in particular the stigma society places on us being so young.









I might possibly fit in here too.
I was 18 and preggers with my oldest 19 when he was born.
My oldest son is 12 now and because of that most people think I am in my 40's Why is it so hard to belive that a 32 year old woman has a 12 year old son, much less being the mother of four kids.







:


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## calidarling (Jul 14, 2006)

im not as young as some of you but boy do people make me feel like it. my son was born four weeks ago and next month i will be turning 22. although he was unplanned, i always wanted to be a younger mother. my husband and i do not feel that we are missing out on anything and have never fit in with our age group anyway. i only have one friend who is my age with a child, her dd is two now, however, my friend is not the same type of parent as i am, so we dont relate anymore.


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## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cherie2* 
Hi, I came across this thread and wanted to chime in. I had my first at 20 and am now a grandma at 39. My dd is a very young mom 17 but was 16 when her ds was born. I thought I would take a peek and see what the young mamas are talking about and realized I was one too (just not anymore). My dd young mama is having some trouble maybe some of you going thru it can help me help her. She seems to have some trouble really embracing her responsibility. She just seems to expect others to cover childcare and baby needs for her (ie diapers, clothes) it would be nice if she at least acknowledged or thanked people for this help. She really loves her ds but she just seems like she does not have "enough" for him. How much help do you all get. How do you handle splitting your "you" time/energy and "baby" time/energy?

hi Cherie!
i have to admit i never really had this problem. DH and i sort of put our heads down and went to being parents. we refused help for a long time (still do to an extent) because we got so much crap we wanted to just make it on our own with no strings attatched. i always was mom. there was no "Maggie time" and then "Lily time". it was rough for the first couple of years but now that we're on our feet we give eachother breaks and sometimes my mom will take our LOs so we can have an adult momment.
but i have seen others have this problem. i really don't know much but maybe if you layed it down for her? she's mom and needs to do these things. you're there to help but not to do it all. i don't doubt she needs a moment to herself. maybe make a date each week were she can have a night with friends? but only if she is responsible for her LO during the week? like i said i'm not well versed on this but i hope it helped somewhat! *HUGS* to you and yours!


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## Lizzo (Jul 26, 2005)

Hey Cherie,
I also never had this problem. I pulled up my pants, tightened the buckle and became a mama. Truthfully, I should have asked for more help. I had PPD and was so lonely in the beggining. Unfortunatly, although I am with DP, he ha shad trouble adjusting and I have done most, pretty much all of raising DS without him. Eventually I will leave him,but for now it makes more sense to stay with him.
I mean, don't get me wrong, my parents have helped financially and I am so gratefull of that. I work hard, hard hard...but I don't make money. I am a midwive's apprentice so it's free school basically.
But DS is my responsibility and I love being with him and caring for him. That doesn't mean everyone needs time for themselves, but there must be a balance.
Turthfully, I feel not helping a young mama(or papa) is far worse than helping. DP's family basically abandoned him- and they were young parents themselves. I see more wrong in that than the help my parents give me. And shoudl DS (although, truthfully, I hope it doesn't happen to him- it is so so hard, I wouldn't trade it for the world, but it is hard) go through htis, I will be with him every step of the way, but of course in such a way that his child is his.


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## Snow Pea (Oct 28, 2006)

I'm new but I thought I'd put in my two cents too.









I had my dd1 a few months before I turned 19, m/c with my ds 4 days after my 20th bday, and had dd2 when I was 21. I knew I wanted to be a young mom and I feel really blessed that I have them.

My husbands family, mostly his mother and grandmother, have always tried to tell me that what I'm doing isn't the right way to do things. My favorites are "Well, I didn't breastfeed my kids and they turned out just fine." and "Is she still not potty trained? My kids were potty trained before they could walk."







:

At least they tried though. My family pretty much ignored the fact that I was having kids at all.









Thank goodness for the support of my dh or I would have gone nuts with our crazy families. He was 21 when my first was born and we were married in 2001.

It's really nice to have a place like this and be able to connect with other youngins like me, lol.


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## cfiddlinmama (May 9, 2006)

Hey Cherie, I'm sorry your dd is having trouble adjusting to motherhood. It is a big adjustment and it's not an easy road. I felt like I made the choice to have have sex so I had to take responsibility for my actions. I felt like I had to prove to my parents I could do it. They thought I should put my dd up for adoption and that would have killed me. Like Lizzo said, I should have asked for more help, but we really did just fine. My dh joined the Air Force and I was all alone in Montana raising little children. It was hard, but a really good experience. I would (if it was my child) just lay it out on the line. She had sex, she made a baby, and now she has to suck it up and deal with it. It's wonderful you are there for her, but she needs to realize it's HER child and she's the one responsible. There's no room for selfishness in motherhood. This is her life now. It's one of the most rewarding things in the whole world, but you have to work for it. Sorry to sound like a meany!







I agree with the poster who said she should have time for herself, but she should do a good job during the week, then you'll watch the baby for the night or whatever. I hope it gets better for you both!

Lizzo, sorry you have issues with your DP. That's tough. I hope it works out for you all.


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## UmmZahra (Jul 24, 2006)

Howdy, mamas. A week or so before I turned 16, I got married. I got pregnant at 17 and had dd at 18. My dh just turned 23 on the 25th of this month. I don't really consider myself a young Mom. I mean to me a young mom is like 15. lol In my family, this is normal. My mom was 16 when she had my older bro. My sister is 23 and due w/ her 3rd in June 06(first prego at 15 had at 16). My other sister was prego at 19 I think ?? She had married at 17. My cousins and aunts all had kids around 18ish.

Now, looking at my DH's side of the family. They seem weird. They have kids at 40 and on! Either way,...

I love being a Mom. In person, I haven't recieved any flack about my age, but over the phone I have. Some people think we are AP or natural just to be rebels.

Hey!! I also want to do midwifery. I graduated when I was 15 from highschool, but I haven't done much since then. I'm working on becoming a doula and hopefully by next fall, I'll start attending school full-time. Right now, I am doing random distance learning courses from the community college.

Also, to the poster about her daughter... maybe you could try telling her how everything she does is going to impact her daughter? I dn't know. It just seems like parents don't realise WHO they are in their child's eyes. Parenting is an honour and we all need to work harder to step up to the plate.


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## greenwest (Oct 27, 2006)

Hows it going young mamas, I wish I had my baby when I was younger.


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## desertpenguin (Apr 15, 2005)

Cherie2...has your daughter gone to any kind of counseling? i have a feeling she is probably depressed. also...hmm...how to word this....sometimes mothers don't give the chance for their children to parent and when they feel like their children aren't parenting their grandchildren correctly, they just take over. i'm not saying that this is the case with you, but i just wanted to put that out there for something for you to consider. i know for me, becoming a parent was very devastating and i didn't feel like i had any support, even though i probably could've asked for it and got some help. i didn't have any experience around infants so i didn't really know what i was doing, except for what i had read from books and surmised what was the right and the wrong thing to do. so maybe, if when your grandbaby is crying, have your daughter hold her baby and say 'maybe if you rock her' instead of doing it yourself...kwim? suggest what to do rather than doing it yourself. i hope i'm not coming off rude. sorry my thoughts are so jumbled.


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## bjorker (Jul 25, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *calidarling* 
im not as young as some of you but boy do people make me feel like it. my son was born four weeks ago and next month i will be turning 22. although he was unplanned, i always wanted to be a younger mother. my husband and i do not feel that we are missing out on anything and have never fit in with our age group anyway.

I totally relate with this. I feel like I generally get along better with people that are a little bit older than me, and don't have a whole lot of interest in what other people my age seem to like to do. That's a generalisation, and I don't mean it rudely, just that clubbing, bar-hopping, or even the college life just isn't my thing. Hell, DP is 38, and we have no issues with the age difference whatsoever. If anything, he's the one that needs to grow up.









I do like to get out of the house a lot, but my idea of fun is going to coffee shops or the bookstore or thrift store. Ya know? I always figured I'd be a pretty young mama too. dd was unplanned as well, but I think I like it that way. I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything, really. I feel a little stuck sometimes, but that has more to do with having a "do-er" personality while being a SAHM.


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## Lizzo (Jul 26, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *UmmZahra* 
Howdy, mamas. A week or so before I turned 16, I got married. I got pregnant at 17 and had dd at 18. My dh just turned 23 on the 25th of this month. I don't really consider myself a young Mom. I mean to me a young mom is like 15. lol In my family, this is normal. My mom was 16 when she had my older bro. My sister is 23 and due w/ her 3rd in June 06(first prego at 15 had at 16). My other sister was prego at 19 I think ?? She had married at 17. My cousins and aunts all had kids around 18ish.

Now, looking at my DH's side of the family. They seem weird. They have kids at 40 and on! Either way,...

I love being a Mom. In person, I haven't recieved any flack about my age, but over the phone I have. Some people think we are AP or natural just to be rebels.

Hey!! I also want to do midwifery. I graduated when I was 15 from highschool, but I haven't done much since then. I'm working on becoming a doula and hopefully by next fall, I'll start attending school full-time. Right now, I am doing random distance learning courses from the community college.

Also, to the poster about her daughter... maybe you could try telling her how everything she does is going to impact her daughter? I dn't know. It just seems like parents don't realise WHO they are in their child's eyes. Parenting is an honour and we all need to work harder to step up to the plate.

Hey mama! There is a mama on here who doesn't psot, but she is a muslima midwife and started an organization for muslima midwives. She is very cool and inspirationala nd I really reccomend getting in touchw ith her!
Good luck on your path.


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

QOTD: What was it that brought you to Mothering mag/MDC?

I'll go. I bought my first copy of Mothering magazine when ds1 was about seven months old. I stopped at Barnes and Noble on the way back from the farmer's market and there it was. I've been reading it ever since. Inside, there was an ad about their online message board, so I went to the library and read and read. I lurked for a couple months and then joined MDC. Now we have internet at the house (it's been a long time since I was using it for free at the library) and I still find as much useful stuff on MDC as I did then.


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## desertpenguin (Apr 15, 2005)

QOTD: What was it that brought you to Mothering mag/MDC?

i had found some of the Dr. Sears books when ds was about 3 mo and wholeheartedly agreed with AP, it's just what felt right. i was online and had been looking at the AP forum at babycenter and i believe someone mentioned this website, so i came here. after coming here, it was like i found my home! i was so relieved to know that i wasn't the only person that believed in AP and not vaccinating, and so on. i love MDC.


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## momz3 (May 1, 2006)

I've just turned 22 on the 1st of October and have 3 babies (last being stillborn) so I guess I belong here as well!


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## UmmZahra (Jul 24, 2006)

Thanks for the heads up! I'll get in touch with her.

I googled and found it. I didn't post then. I stopped coming for awhile. Later on a friend of mine mentioned it again and so I came back and now I started posting.


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## Shirelle (May 22, 2006)

I'm a young Mama









I have two kids, ages 3 1/2 and 16 months. I turned 24 in July. Dh is 26.

We were married before we had our son, but people often assume that we weren't because of our ages. I sometimes forget that I'm a young Mom, because I feel so OLD! Most of my friends are 8+ years older than me. I actually really like being a young Mom. I have plenty of energy to chase after them, keep up a school, pt work schedule, and hopefully dh and I will have them out of the house and have our middle-aged years to ourselves


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## faerie (Mar 6, 2002)

Well, I no longer qualify as a "young" mom, lol...but I am a former teen mama. Lately I realize how that label never really goes away. I had my son when I was 17, and for years lived with all the judgement you all have been talking about from people. It sort of leveled out a bit and people didnt seem to notice much when I was in my 20's and he was school age, but now that he is almost 18...its weird. When I meet a new person and they learn I have an almost 18 year old I can see them doing the mental math. Or they just comment on how I must have been so young. I guess when you get in your 30's you dont mind so much though about being thought as "too young" to have a teen.


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## JamieCatheryn (Dec 31, 2005)

Do I count? I'm 20 and have one baby, I was 18 when I got preg with my son, 19 when he was born. I don't feel young but I did get "you look too young to be pregnant" a lot while I was...if I'd been like 16 that would have been very offensive. I was married already and he was not quite planned, but hoped-for. I think the looks and comments are just because the in thing now is to finish school, then get married, then work on a career, then finally when you're almost beyond reproductive age think about having kids. That doesn't make sense to me.


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## Cherie2 (Sep 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *desertpenguin* 
Cherie2...has your daughter gone to any kind of counseling? i have a feeling she is probably depressed. also...hmm...how to word this....sometimes mothers don't give the chance for their children to parent and when they feel like their children aren't parenting their grandchildren correctly, they just take over. i'm not saying that this is the case with you, but i just wanted to put that out there for something for you to consider. .

Thanks everyone for your thoughts regarding my "very" young mom dd ... I too remember just being mom - I just was and that was all there was to it .. I think it is partly my personality though and also I was 21 ... not 16 ... so it is pretty hard for me to relate. I remember being, and actually still am put off by my own mother trying to tell me how to parent (or run my life in any way) and so I try very (maybe too) hard to give her her space to parent as she sees fit .. sometimes it seems though like she really does not care. I too think she is depressed. I tried to take her to counseling but she said she could not share her "real" feeling/thoughts with the counselor .. I stopped perusing that road and have started Bowenwork for her .. she likes that very much and I think it is helping get her hormones back in balance. Maybe after she is more in balance she will consider some counseling. I worry, she seems so close to the edge, I fear making demands of her for fear she will topple right over the edge. That may be unfounded ... but I am not really sure.


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## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

Cherie, you and yours are in my thoughts! please keep us posted. maybe she could come to the thread? i don't know how 'into' AP she is though...


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## a~...Mamacitaa~... (Sep 18, 2004)

i had my first at 18.. im not 25 and prego with my third, dh's first tho and he is 22







:


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## mamatoLL (Sep 28, 2006)

im bumping this back up b/c I have a question for all of you young mamas!

Do you still talk to your people you were friends w/ pre children?

I don't. None of them get me now. They just think im "too" involved w/ my kids and just dont understand why.

My DH on the other hand talks to some of his old friends. But there are very few that I will let around my children b/c they seem to not understand how to talk around kids.







:


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## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

i still have friends i talk to but DH doesn't. my two best friends are very supportive. they are brother and sister. the sister is understanding but she would rather be out having fun. she's 3 years younger than me. her brother is 2 years older than me and is really mature so he 'gets it'. his girlfriend is an earlychildhood educator so she *really* gets it and loves our LOs. i have some friends who are just now getting married or having babies and its weird to see them 'catch up'.


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## taylor (Apr 4, 2006)

Nice to see this thread!

I got married and pregnant at age 17, had my DS at 18, got pregnant again at 18 and will be having our second son in February, at 19. My DH is 30.

I feel like I'm in limbo most of the time, as the AP parents I know are in mid to late 30's and while most really don't have an issue with my age - some really do. And the parents who are my age are far too immature for me to swallow and we just don't get along. But that's not something new, I've never gotten along with peers.


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## desertpenguin (Apr 15, 2005)

Cherie2, i hope your daughter will be able to figure things out and start feeling better. keep us posted on any progress you guys may make.









dh and i are still friends with some of the people we were friends with before, but a lot of them had more or less drifted out of our lives on their own accord before dh and i got pregnant. for whatever reason it seems we have a hard time making good lasting connections with other couples! we always end up being the only ones who make any effort to stay in contact, so usually we give up. but because of the internet i'm still in contact with a good deal of the friends i had made before i met dh. dh also has a couple of friends he had before we met but he doesn't usually talk to them much. they all live in other parts of the country, so that's part of it. some of them are married now and one of them is having a kid soon....and my best friend that i have known since middle school FINALLY had her first kiss a couple of weeks ago. it _is_ really weird to see some of our friends catching up... when my bf told me about her kiss, i was like 'aww, my little girl is growing up!' which is really very funny since she's 6 mo older than me.


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## onelilguysmommy (May 11, 2005)

im 19, had my son at 18 but was due while i was 17


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## easterdee (Sep 26, 2006)

I don't know if I qualify, I'm 23 and I have two kids. I got married at 19 and had our first daughter at 20 and our second at 22. I never felt too young to be having children but the first question my midwife asked me was "so how did your boyfriend take it, is he okay with this?" I was so annoyed that she assumed just because I was young, I must have gotten "knocked up" by some punk accidentally, there was no way I could've been married and hoping for a baby! I just got my cycle back so I'm sure #3 won't be too far behind!


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## moonfirefaery (Jul 21, 2006)

I am 21 but was 19 when my son was born.


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## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

**bump**


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## Lizzo (Jul 26, 2005)

I am not friends with anyone I was friends with. I am not upset about it.
When I got pregnant, I was 16...barely. And I just wanted to be 16 so bad. so I hung around with the kids I was friends with for a while. I had an awful time deciding whether or not to keep DS too and once I made up my mind that I was his mama, something in me clicked and I stopped hanging out with them.
They were horrible. Once, one of them rubbed my huge belly and said "Hi baby" and then looked at me and said "I still think you should have had an abortion."
They were very,very cruel. I am not sure why I stayed with them...but like I said, I just wanted to be 16. But I am done with all that and i love where I'm at and who I am. And have great friends and a good life.
But it was a very hard point in my life. I truly believe I am one of the strongest people I know...I have been to hell and back and still struggle(finanacially and with DP) and probably will for sometime. But I love my son and love this beautiful path I am on. I wouldn't trade it for the world.


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## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

DH's friends were like that, Lizzo. his best friend told him to leave me. he was like 'dude she's pregnant and i love her' and he was just like so? people now days really boggle my mind. i remember growing up and wanting a family but now everyone seems to want a whole bunch of expensive crap and time to be jerks.


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## angelpie545 (Feb 23, 2005)

I had my first at 18, and my second at 21. I love being a young mom! I'll only be 36 by the time my oldest is 18- the time when most moms in my area are thinking about their second, sometimes even first child. I live in an area where having a kid under thirty is considered uncommon and people do give you a lot of looks. I've had that "you look so young!" comment too many times to count. People here aren't generally mean though, thank goodness.


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## hannybanany (Jun 3, 2006)

Wow, I'm pretty excited about finding this group!

I'm 21 (just turned on Oct 1), and DH will be 24 next week. We've been married for 2.5 years.









DD is 14 months, so I was 19 when I had her.

Re: friends, I really don't talk to any of my friends from highschool, etc... First of all, we moved 700 miles away from our home town right before we got pg. Then I had DD and I just don't think any of my former friends "get it". They don't get that she's the most important and exciting thing in my life -- I guess the feeling's mutual, they don't particulary enjoy me rambling on about dd and I can't stand listening about the partying, etc that they're doing.
It's really ok with me though. I've made some great friends here with kiddos about my dd's age (though they're all about 10 years older than me...). I just wish they were more AP.









Nice to "meet" you all!


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## Kellie_MO4 (Jan 14, 2006)

Hey ladies! I *used* to b e a young mama, still , somewhat young, I guess, but *really* don't feel it somedays...lol... I'm 24, got preggo with dd#1 right after I turned 18, and now, at 24, have 4 wonderful babies here with me and Dh(they'll always be my babies..lol







) and one that was just too precious for earth... so.. hi!


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## Cherie2 (Sep 27, 2006)

bumping


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## HumbleLuna (Jul 12, 2005)

hey guys,
I got pregnant at 19 and had my daughter at 20. I married my Dh at 20 as well. I am now 25 and my daughter is in Kindergarten. It is hard because I am in college and a mom and I don't really fit in at either end. I am much younger than my dd's friends parents and they sort of freak out when the find out I am still in school. And I go to an art school where people my age are really only into themsleves and most of them hate children. I have had a hard time finding mama friends. A lot of my dd's friends parents say things like "I am old enough to be your mom." It dosen't seem to be as easy to connect with the other mama's when you are younger.


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## *~Member~* (Feb 20, 2006)

Hi everyone!! I'm 22 and pg with our 3rd (technically 6th) Got pg with Freja and her twin at 18 had Freja at 19, got pg at 19 lost the bub. At 20 I got pg with Raeden had her at 21. At 21 (a month before i turned 22) I got pg and lost that bub also. Now I'm 22 and PG again expecting in August a month before I turn 23 ^_^ I THINK I got that time line right lol

I have a few real good real life friends but not many. A lot of the people in thhis area are to put it simply those no good mothers who you see literally beating their children in walmart. Young parents are very normal around here but you do get the occasional nutcase.

What was REALLY funny is I used to go to a pentecostal church and the other day my husband had run Freja to the family bathroom at the store to change her and I was holding Raeden. and someone I used to go to church with came up and goes 'Ohhh Melissa! Is that your sister!?' At that time Freja came running up yelling 'MAMA!!' HAHA I died laughing


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## madasmama (Dec 7, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamablueberry* 
I have had a hard time finding mama friends. A lot of my dd's friends parents say things like "I am old enough to be your mom." It dosen't seem to be as easy to connect with the other mama's when you are younger.

I feel the same way. I am 19 and DD is *almost* 9 months. There are alot of teen moms around here, but the problem is that they are the polar opposite of AP. They completely ignore their children until they start disobeying... and then they yell. They think it's gross that I breastfeed and weird that I cosleep and gee, why do I bother with cloth diapers?







: I don't mean to stereotype teen parents by saying that, but every time I leave my house I see several teen moms, and so far I've only met one who was AP. I'm proud to be breaking the mold!








My boyfriend's coworker is a year younger than me, and he and his girlfriend have just had a child, so we went to visit them and bring presents. They live in his parents' basement. The baby's mom was holding her, and when she started to fuss, she immediately handed the LO over to her boyfriend, who just sort of looked at her, and when she started to full out cry, he ran upstairs and gave her to his mom, saying that she'd make the baby stop crying. It was so sad. They are never going to develop and trust their instincts as parents, and this is going to set them up for issues with communication and understanding and discipline down the road. I considered offering to let them borrow my sling to help them bond, but then I realized that a sling wasn't going to do it - they need to change their whole perspective, expectations, and attitudes around, and they don't know it. I feel so sorry for that poor little girl. I just wanted to take her and nurse her and tell her she was wanted. Her dad recently confided in DP that he didn't like being a dad.







: Things like this make me so sad.


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## Dael (Jan 1, 2007)

I used to be a young mamma, I got pregnant with my twins at 17 and have them at 18, DH was 39 when I had the twins and with DD I was 23 and had her at 23 lol I wasn't so young


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## jessx (Jan 3, 2007)

Just wanted to drop in & say that I wish I had MDC when I had my DS. 10 yrs ago. I was 17, lost most of my friends but kept my DS daddy (which was way more important, lol) We got married when DS was 4 & now have been ttc for 6 yrs. Dh & I both look way younger then we are (I am 27 & Dh is 32)& get mistaken for DS's brother & sister all the time. Doesn't help that DS is only 4 inches shorter then me. Anyhow, good luck to all the young moms, it really can work out, no matter what ANYONE says.


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## Mamma Christi (Dec 15, 2006)

I got pregnant at 19 (right before my 20th birthday) and then had him at 20








*subbing


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## angel1895 (Nov 9, 2006)

well how neat to find this tribe!!

I got pg with ds when I was 18.. I had him at 19... dh and I werent married til after we had ds and though our families werent happy that I was pg and not married, they were really supportive after awhile.

magstphil.. I'm sorry..but I was totally shocked to find you were already on your third... I'm not being condecending... I think its great... if I could have had #2 and possibly #3 already I would have


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## Terah (Feb 10, 2007)

Got pregnant at 16 and had her at 16; five days before my 17th bday


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## allye (Dec 14, 2006)

Well im 29 now and my oldest DS is 13 - I had my first @ 16


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## usandthegirls (Mar 22, 2006)

So happy to see such a tribe! I am 23 and just had my third daughter going on 8 weeks ago.

I am with the poster who said it's very hard to find mamas I "fit" with. All mamas I have met who are my age do not have anything in common with me and mamas who I feel I'd have more in common with are older and have more, live in nicer houses, etc etc. It's a weird place to be in.

I live in an area where it's already a bit odd to NIP and such. Ah well, I'm so glad to have found this thread!


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## ElizaBird (Dec 20, 2004)

Hi!

I guess i don't quite fit, but almost... I gave birth to my twins a couple days after my 21st birthday. I definately felt young, and none of my old friends are there yet, but it did and does feel so right. DH and i weren't exactly trying to get PG, but we had definately put that inviting energy out there into the universe. Little did i know we'd be blessed with 2!

Anyways i just wanted to say i'm happy to see this tribe, and say i think young mommas deserve alot of respect for answering the call;
And also horray for all the aspiring midwives! I am one too.


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## Neth Naneth (Aug 11, 2006)

Oh My, I just read this whole thread. I was 20 when I had my DS. I can honestly say that the greatest single moment of my life was when I got to hold him for the very first time.







: I am looking forward to posting in this thread.


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## Neth Naneth (Aug 11, 2006)




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## CalebsMama05 (Nov 26, 2005)

Hi! I'm Jami 22 y/o mama o' 2!

I was 18 when I got pg first time m/c at 8 wks, 19 when I got pg with ds1, 4m shy of 21 when he was born, got pg w/ds2 when ds1 was 7m old and he was born on my 22nd bday.

currently trying to convince dh on #3


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## annalaura (Jan 20, 2007)

i loooooove being a young momma and i wouldnt change it for anything!
i got pregnant at 18 and had my son at 19. he just turned 3 months on sunday and im loving every minute of it. i love being a mother. as far as the whole friends thing goes, i do feel lonely sometimes. i do have a close friend who had her baby about 4 months before my son was born,but when it comes to parenting we are total opposites,dont get me wrong,i love her alot and shes a good friend but sometimes we butt heads on things,and she thinks im strange when it comes to some of my decisions. i tell my husband all the time that i wish i could find more young mommas like me to hangout with and everything,that would be great. yay for being a young momma!


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## Peony (Nov 27, 2003)

I got pg with DD1 when I was 19, I got a positive the day I graduated from college,







she was born when I was 20, DD2 was born shortly after I turned 24. I feel old now.







Nah, I've never felt my age, I've always felt much older, grew up too fast I guess. DH is 6 years older then me, we've been together since I was 17, and his world is totally different from mine. Here I was, this punk kid who had managed to get her stuff together and graduate from high school at 16, and enrolled in college full time, I had goals, but meeting a business man and falling in love with him at that age was not one of them.







: I have no regrets at all, I love our life.

I never get the young mom comments, never, and I look my age.







I think it's because everyone assumes DH is older then he is because of what he does, and people just assume that I look young but am older. And I'm not your typical 24 year old.


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## CalebsMama05 (Nov 26, 2005)

I don't get young mama comments either. in fact older mama's come to ME for parenting advice. good thing I'm so ap!


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## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

so glad to see this thread still going!
i notice more and more everyday that when i'm doing my deliveries i get the older women mostly (think 60s and 70s) who give me a weird look and then whisper to their friends as if i can't hear them "how old is she?". i just laugh. wouldn't it just knock them over to know that's i'm not only 21 but on my THIRD!!







it's also hard for people to believe that i drive a mini van. don't quite understand that one.


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## Peony (Nov 27, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CalebsMama05* 
I don't get young mama comments either. in fact older mama's come to ME for parenting advice. good thing I'm so ap!









I get the same thing. I'm a LLL leader, and I guess a lot of my mamas look up to me, because I get calls all the time from my regulars seeking advice in other areas. Most are quite shocked when they eventually find out my age.


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## CalebsMama05 (Nov 26, 2005)

maggie-lol i want another but dh is skittish


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## Micah'smom (Jan 29, 2007)

Wow, it is so great to find other young moms who don't want to raise their baby in front of the television. I got pregnant with my son 18 and had him at 19. I'm 21 now, and all of my friends with babies let them watch Barney or something all day long. Even when my mom keeps him, when he comes back all he wants to do is watch tv and I've told her how I feel about it. It just makes me so mad.


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## CalebsMama05 (Nov 26, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Micah'smom* 
Wow, it is so great to find other young moms who don't want to raise their baby in front of the television. I got pregnant with my son 18 and had him at 19. I'm 21 now, and all of my friends with babies let them watch Barney or something all day long. Even when my mom keeps him, when he comes back all he wants to do is watch tv and I've told her how I feel about it. It just makes me so mad.

we rarely have our tv on.


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## LydiaJW (Jun 4, 2006)

I got pg with DS when I was 18 (had him at 19) then got pg with DD when I was 20 and had her right before my 21st birthday. Now I am due with our 3rd baby in the next 3 weeks...right before I turn 23. I don't know really any AP moms my age at all...I think due to lack of education on the subject most young moms just go with what seems easiest.


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## CalebsMama05 (Nov 26, 2005)

Lydia-your dd is just a couple of weeks younger than my ds1.


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## Micah'smom (Jan 29, 2007)

I'm really new here, can someone tell me what ds, dd, ap, etc. means?


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## heatherbell (Jun 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Micah'smom* 
I'm really new here, can someone tell me what ds, dd, ap, etc. means?

DS=Darling, dear (terms of endearment unless you're feeling fiesty







)
DD=Darling/dear daughter
AP=Attached Parenting

There is a sticky about the abbreviations in the questions area I think.


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## WiccanMama (Feb 20, 2007)

I am 31, My son is 13.

I concieved at 17 and had him at 18.... Back then people all thought I was crazy to have a kid at that age. My mom went balistic and wanted me to give him up for adoption.







: She kinda kicked me out and I lived with the babies dad,, my boyfrind who is now my hubby, we have been together for 17 years and still going strong. I have infertility and PCOS and so I would have had alot more babies after my son if I could but now long story short, he is 13 and awesome. I just want to say Kudos to young moms everywhere. Yall ROCK!

*My DS*:
http://i69.photobucket.com/albums/i6...all/danny2.jpg

Namaste,
Meg


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## vannienicole (Nov 2, 2006)

*


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## CalebsMama05 (Nov 26, 2005)

Hi Vanessa


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## treqi (Dec 31, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *vannienicole* 
Ooo! I don't know how I kept missing this tribe! I am 23 and so is DH (7 months younger than me). My DD is 3.5 and we are expecting sometime in June another one. Luckly, being on a military base on the other side of the world, I don't have to deal with the scorned looks from being so youg. Tons of the moms here are young too. I don't get along with most of them though, because, unlike most of them, I left high school when I graduated. They act like they are still living in it. Did I mention I hate life drama?









It is hard connecting with people like me. I am a liberal, vegetarian crunchy mama in a conservative, mainstream sphere. Most of the women who are anything like me are old enough to be my mom and I have problems relating to them outside of children. The ladies my age are either without kiddos or have them but want to party all the time. I must be a freak for not wanting to drink myself silly all the time!

I love being a young mama because I get to spend all my excess energy on my DD. I like being able to still climb into the playplace with her







and not be short of breath! (Well when I wasn't pregnant at least)

My DH says that he is done having kiddos and I am going to respect that, but if it was up to me..............there'd be at least four in this house! I love kids!









YES! i'm on Kadena AB on Oki the millitary is ike HS but worse..... anyways got knocked up at 18 by DH now i'm 20 and DD is 6mo im kinda itching for another... not gunna happen.. yeh


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## CalebsMama05 (Nov 26, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *treqi* 
YES! i'm on Kadena AB on Oki the millitary is ike HS but worse..... anyways got knocked up at 18 by DH now i'm 20 and DD is 6mo im kinda itching for another... not gunna happen.. yeh

why is that?

ds2 is almost 8m/o and I'm definately wanting another babe. I don't want to wait...but sometimes I really DO want to wait...so we wait. we wait until I want another one ALL the time. probably be awhile anyways cuz my lp is only 8d right now


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## dimibella (Feb 5, 2007)

Hey mamas!! I was 19 when we had DS, DH (DBF back then) was 21, 22 when we got pg with DD, 23 when we had her and I am now 24, DH is 26 and we are ttc #3. I always wanted to be a young mama and wouldn't trade it for the world. I was always the little mommy, it has always come very naturally to me. I constantly get bugged eyed looks for being a young mom, but I have to say that I lool like I am about 14, and the great thing is that those bug eyes are usually followed by comments on how well behaved and cute my children are and how I must be a good mommy. Sooo happy to find this tribe!! Looking forward to posting more often!

Kelly


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## treqi (Dec 31, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CalebsMama05* 
why is that?

ds2 is almost 8m/o and I'm definately wanting another babe. I don't want to wait...but sometimes I really DO want to wait...so we wait. we wait until I want another one ALL the time. probably be awhile anyways cuz my lp is only 8d right now









i have ADD and know i couldn't handle 2 under 2 all day every day







so i will just stick to babysitting for friends


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## CalebsMama05 (Nov 26, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *treqi* 
i have ADD and know i couldn't handle 2 under 2 all day every day







so i will just stick to babysitting for friends

oh rite!

i work so thats not an issue


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## ashleyca (Mar 3, 2007)

Hello ladies I just have to join in! I'm Crunchy Catholic AP mama in Maryland. I've been married for going on 3 years. We have a one year old daughter and a 5 month old baby girl & AF is three days late - so another one in December!!!!!!! Oh, and I'm 19







I work from home as a paralegal and love my life! I look forward to chatting with you mommas!


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## ksera05 (Apr 14, 2006)

Hi everyone!

I guess I'm a young mom too. I graduated college in '05, got married 1/06 at 21yo, got pregnant on purpose







a few months later, then had DD last summer 16 weeks early at the age of 22. She spent 16 weeks in the NICU, you would not believe the agism that was present there, it seemed like a lot of nurses were absolutely shocked that I was married and knew what I was talking about, or that she was planned, because 22 year olds just don't plan babies.







It was so annoying.

Anyway, good to see a tribe! although some of you make me feel old


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## CalebsMama05 (Nov 26, 2005)




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## ashleyca (Mar 3, 2007)

What does it mean to be frosted and toasted? I'm so out of the loop here. . .


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## mommyofboys3 (Feb 8, 2007)

hello..i have 3 boys i am 26..i got pg at 19 had him at 20 got pg at 21 had him at 22 and then pg again at 25 and had him at 25..i get alot of grief but you know what i take care of my kids so.....

SUBBING!


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## Momma2DoubleCuties (Mar 11, 2006)

Another young momma here, I'm 24 now but had my first at 19 and then my second at 21, with a m/c in between them. We are very AP and organic living. My family calls me a "hippie" because I really care about how my family lives. Is annoying, but I just ignore it cause this is really important to me. Glad I found a new tribe!!


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## goosedown77 (Jan 21, 2007)

Hi all, I am 23, new to the forums, and this tribe is shockingly suited to me. I am no longer a SUPER young, but I was once. My son is closing in on 7 fast, and I am 3 days overdue







: with what I think is my daughter. We're planning a home birth, and we're ready! Also, I noticed a few aspiring midwives on this thread, way back in June. Any of you still around? We have that in common too. I certainly have nothing in common with the moms I know, (okay, I don't really know any), you guys can relate. It's nice to see some moms like me! I'd like to get to know you guys. -Kelsey


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## appleseed (Jun 23, 2006)

i'm 20 with three kids







: DD was born when I was 18 (pregnant at 17) and when she was 18 months i got pregnant with our twins. life is crazy, but good


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## mommy2two babes (Feb 7, 2007)

wow I had no idea that I would find this on here and I am so glad. My DD was born 2 month after my 20th birthday and my DS 1 month after my 22nd. I do not know any crunchy moms let alone any young ones. I don't have alot of friends because alot of older moms see me as too young of a mom and any of the young moms I know are far from being AP's. One actually had her 3children taken from her for neglect. With my DD I had alot of rude comments one that comes to mind in particular is one day I was out for a walk with my DD and a bunch of guys in a van pulled up beside my and yelled "Teenage mom you should have had an abortion" I still get sick thinking about it. I absolutly love being a co-sleeping, tandem nursing, baby wearing, no circ, Home birthing,young mom. Nice to know there are others out there.
Krista


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## cfiddlinmama (May 9, 2006)

Hi really young mamas!

Mama2DoubleCuties - I'm an aspiring midwife. I'm hoping to start my course really soon. I just have to buy a few more books!

mommy2twobabes - that is HORRIBLE! Why would someone say something like that? Young moms can be great moms! What a poor angry person.... I'm really sorry.









It's been a while since I posted here, so I'll just give a quick run down!

Got pg just before I turned 16.







: Got married at 16. Had dd @ 16, ds @ 17, ds2 @19 and dd2 @ 21. I'm 23 and have 4 kids. I'm the crunchiest mama I know, but I'm very blessed to have some friends that are moms in their 20's and are pretty AP. I'm sorry that you are all so lonely as far as mama friends go.

I get all sorts of crazy comments. "You don't look old enough to have had all those kids." (well, obviously I am, cause I did!) "Do they all have the same father?" (yes they do - shocking I know!) "Don't you know what causes that?" (yes I do and I LIKE it!!!) When I was pg it was really hard, people can be so nasty and they think other peoples' fertility is their own business.







:

There are days when I wish we had waited. We could have gotten our schooling out of the way. (DH is going to school and I'm going to be starting.) Most of the time, though, I'm extremely happy to be a really young mama. I really get to enjoy my kids and we do all sorts of crazy fun stuff together. I'm hoping that I'm so close to being a teenager still, I won't forget what it was like for me. Hopefully, things will be better for mine!

Have a wonderful day!


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## CalebsMama05 (Nov 26, 2005)

hi everyone! I'm taking the steps to go to college soon.


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## hottmama (Dec 27, 2004)

Just found this thread!
I got pregnant (on purpose) at 18, and birthed my first son at 18. In a totally immature relationship, which I regret, but the kiddo I got out of it is absolutely perfect. He was still a baby when my partner and I started dating, and we moved in together before his first birthday. We planned and conceived my second babe when I was 20, and I birthed him at 21. I'm 22 now and my partner is 27. I got my BA last year (am now a SAHM) and my partner is entering a doctoral program in August.
So sorry to hear that many of you feel so isolated, I am lucky to live in a city with lots of AP moms, most of whom are older than me but I don't mind. Most of my friends are 26-32. It would be nice to have a close mama friend my own age, but it's not really a big deal to me.


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## jes_mar_wak_hod (Dec 16, 2006)

LOL I am definitely a young mama! Today is my 18th birthday and my first baby, a little girl, is due this May. I'm sure everyone thinks that it was an accident(heard a few annoying comments too







: ) but I was and am in a wonderful committed relationship and I had MAJOR baby craving. Sooo...we just weren't really careful about birth control. Not ttc but not trying too hard to prevent it.







But I am so excited about being a mama. I really look forward to the privilege of raising my DD and to the challenge of being a wonderful mama. P.S. I'm SOOO glad that I found this site! I have always been really crunchy but I have learned a LOT.


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## THBVsMommy (Mar 13, 2007)

DH and I got pregnant when we were just 20! Don't you just LOVE "the looks" you get at the store from elders? I have been looked up and down with disapprovement so many times, that it's become habit for me to just flash my wedding ring and move on. However, even though I am 22, I could pass for 17, so that may account for all the stares as well







:

Nonetheless, I am thrilled to be a young mama. I will be in my late 30's when my son is in High School, and I just feel that we will be able to relate to eachother so well.


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## Emma's_Mommy (Apr 28, 2006)

im 25 and pregnant with baby #2....does that make me young enough?


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## mudpuddle (Mar 12, 2007)

I just joined MDC and am so glad I found this thread! I just turned 20 and am having my first in a few weeks! I totally understand what you all mean about the looks in the store, and all the negative comments. I also look like im 16, so sometimes I get some pretty bad stares. I don't mind though because I am thrilled to be a mama. My boyfriend is a few months younger than me, and we are completely in love. I couldn't be happier. So although our ds wasn't planned we feel extremely blessed.







:


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## goosedown77 (Jan 21, 2007)

Hey guys,
Looks like there are quite a few of us who are new. If anyone has questions about the whole school thing I might be able to help. I've been doing it for awhile. It's a great way to get some cash and stay attached, oh, and you can learn some things!


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## goosedown77 (Jan 21, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Emma's_Mommy* 
im 25 and pregnant with baby #2....does that make me young enough?

Hey I'm coming close on 24 and just had number two, and I'm here. We're the 'self proclaimed' really young mamas of the gang I guess. I say you are


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## BrittBBT (Dec 20, 2006)

I'm almost 23 and just had my third baby 9 months ago. My first two kids were born not even a year apart, when I was 19 and 20. I was married to their dad at the time but we split and I got re married 7 months ago to this baby's father. I actually want MORE kids! LOL but my mom isn't too thrilled with me always being pregnant. Little does she know that we're kinda trying right now, and have been since I stopped my Depo a few months ago.

I just read another one of ya'lls posts and it said she lost a baby due to low progesterone b/c of BF... that kinda just scared me cuz I'm nursing my son still. Maybe I'll wait till he's weaned to try to get pregnant...


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## ashleyca (Mar 3, 2007)

Aw, don't worry too much about BF while TTC. I am BF my five month old and TTC. I was still BF my first child when I got pregnant with my second. I've never had any problems.

I know what you mean about families not being supportive of us having many kids. We are quiverfull - meaning that we do not use birth control and will accept as many children as God blesses us with - and I'm 19 with two kids







: . They are always lecturing me about BC. But I don't think they grasp the concept that IUDs and the pill are just automated abortions. The egg is still fertilized but the body aborts the baby.







I couldn't do that. That still leaves barrier methods, but we just leave it up to God.

We're here to support you!


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## becoming (Apr 11, 2003)

Just found this tribe! DH and I are 24 and having #3 this summer. We have a 5 1/2-year-old DS, a 16-month-old DD, and another sweet baby boy on the way. Nice to "meet" you other young mamas!


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## goosedown77 (Jan 21, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ashleyca* 
But I don't think they grasp the concept that IUDs and the pill are just automated abortions. The egg is still fertilized but the body aborts the baby.







I couldn't do that.

We also reject the use of birth control, however, while what you said is true about IUD,which creates a hostile uterine environment for a potentially fertilized egg, if the pill (and other hormonal methods) work properly, an egg is never released from the ovary, and so couldn't be fertilized. These methods prevent fertilization of an egg by preventing ovulation. Just thought everyone should have the right information.


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## Riverdog (Jan 8, 2007)

What an awesome tribe! I have a four month old son @ 20...pregnant @ 19. It is so awesome to find so many young AP mamas! I must agree with some PP's that most of the young moms I know are anything but AP.


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## Logan's mommy (Jan 19, 2007)

Hello fellow young mothers! I'm not really young now (24) but I was when ds was born. I was preggo at 17 and had ds a month after I turned 18. He was an "accident", but the best one ever. I wish I had waited at times, but I wouldn't trade him for anything. I was in high school while preg and can relate to the looks from other people. I had other girls in my classes telling me I didn't need to wear whatever it the out fit was because my belly was starting to show. Unfortunaly I didn't really enjoy my pregnancy like I wish I could have been able to. Dh and I are trying for #2, but are facing some fertility issues right now that are kinda bumming me out, but I know that will help me enjoy my pregnancy all the more when it finally happens. Yay for this thread! Hugs to all!
Elizabeth


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## mamatobean (Apr 27, 2007)

My name is Hannah. I had my daughter Felicity when I was 17.


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## CaraNicole (Feb 28, 2007)

subbing....

i want to join...i'm 21 and i got preggers at 20 and had my ds not too long after i was 21...he just made 6mo yesterday...i wouldn't trade him for anything!


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## Lovemy3babies (Apr 23, 2007)

HI there! I am 21, and have 3 babies ! I have 19 month old twins, got pregnant when I was 19, had them when I was 20... then got pregnant again when they were 3 months old, and have a 7 month old now









People think I am CRAZY when I tell them I am 21 and have 3 kids....


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## Khourtniey (May 3, 2007)

I am 21 and had both of my babies at 19.. Yep BOTH.. They are 9.5 months apart (Preemies). I got pregnant with my first baby at 18.


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## BelovedBird (Apr 5, 2002)

20 is young for your first baby?? I never knew.

Hi all!


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## hibana (Jun 9, 2006)

Hi fellow young mamas! I think I posted in here before... can't remember. I got pregnant at 18, had dd at 19 and am now 20. Anybody else find that their childless peers have no idea how to react to you? I've managed to make a number of single, career-driven women in their early 20s QUITE nervous and uncomfortable, simply by being a sahm who is content with her situation in life and enjoying being a mama.


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## Tishie (Aug 16, 2005)

Is this for people who are still young? I'm 34, but my kids will be 15 and 11 this summer. I'm always the youngest mom, especially at the high school functions!

Now that I'm older, I get more respect from people, but when my kids were little, and I looked even younger than I was ... agh. I got so sick of the condescension and advice and assumptions that I didn't know/care what was best for my kids. I think the worst was the shocked "compliment" that I was a good mom.

Bleh.

But, for those of you who aren't doing the QF thing, the nice thing about being a young mom is that I'm 34 and the empty nest is within sight! We're already planning our romantic European trips...


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## CTH3989 (Sep 28, 2006)

Hi ladies, my name is Chelci and I am 18. I got pregnant and had my son at the age of 17. He is now 6 months old.

Chelci


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## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

hi to all the new mamas!


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## 3lilmonsters (Feb 24, 2007)

I'm not a really young mamma, but I wanted to stop in and say hi. I had my first a week and a half before I turned 21, but I _look_ young, I guess. Two years ago (I'm now 28) I was carded trying to buy an R rated movie. when I had my first I got lots of disgusted and sympathic looks. When my sister and I went out walking with him people assumed SHE was the mother...and she's 6 years younger than me!







I've been cornered in public bathrooms asking about the details







: , and the worst thing ever was when my mom and I went to a restaurant and the staff was talking about me very loudly...saying stuff about how I'd probably have to drop out of school now and how they'd hate to have a baby as young as I am









I was better behaved back then so I didn't really say much, but it did a number on my self confidence at the time.

Oh! I forgot about the time when I was at the grocery store with my (at the time) 2yo and 4mo and was getting the 2yo to 'help' with the baby...I was stopped by an older woman who asked ds "aren't you a good boy to help your sister with the baby?". Then dp walked up and she told him he had some good kids here. He had no clue so he just said thanks









But anyway, I applaud you all for being good mamas...regardless of your age


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## californiajenn (Mar 7, 2007)

I'm 26 so I'm not as young as most of you (that is the exact opposite of what I normally say, lol) but was 18 when I had my now 8 year old dd. I totally relate to what most of you say! I still find it hard to make friends and I can pass for 19 easily. In fact, I subbed for the secretary at our school board meeting and most of the board thought I was a nice neighborhood girl that the secretary hired. When I let them know that I was a parent, their attitudes changed tremendously.

Slight vent: I'm tired of not having many friends I can relate to. All of the Moms at my dd's school are in their mid-30's to mid-40's. The few mom's with kids remotely close in age to my dd (none at our school) are uneducated (degrees don't matter, just know what going on in the world) and unmotivated. I think we all know it's harder to meet AP Moms. ;-)
My ex is in the military so I didn't feel so lonely at first but then I got divorced, moved to a city to finish college, and entered the business world. My closest family member is about 2000 miles away and the ex (who is a good dad and person) just transfered to Hawaii.

I have a B.A. and am going back for my Master's this spring, yeah!

It's great to "meet" so many great young mamma's! It's nice to know I'm not the only one.


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## thunderkitty (Sep 15, 2005)

I am a single mom of one I was 17 when I got pregnant but, 18 when I had her. I don't know if I thought I was ready at the time but, I MADE myself get ready and it was the best thing that ever happened to me! I got my GED went back to college (now), quit smoking, having "casual relationships", etc. and she turned my life around as a result...I can't imagine it any other way now! I've turned into a crunchy mom, I just never woulda' thunk' 5 years ago...oh and I'm 21 now, which I can't believe either it flew by!


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## earthyamber (Apr 9, 2007)

Hi everyone! My name is Amber. I am 24 and my husband is also 24. I had my first daughter when I was 18 (in my senior yr of high school). I had my second daughter when I was 22. I hated getting comments like, "you just ruined your life", "Are you the babysitter?", "What are you thinking?", and all the rude looks and remarks. It was tough! I like being a young mom (although I am not all that young now) and I have no regrets. It was a bit unexpected, but they are my life. After I had my first daughter, I volunteered in teen shelters for young pregnant teens. It was great being able to support other young moms and I even held teen parenting classes which was a lot of fun. I would love to do that again. I believe age doesn't matter and it is more about the maturity. I have a friend who was 14 when she had her 1st baby and she is such a great mom. She stayed in school, took care of her baby, and is now in college.


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## Moonprysm (Jun 2, 2006)

Joining.







I'm 21 and DH is 22 (about to be 23). We have a 14 month old son and are preparing to try for #2. I think the hardest part was the assumptions people make. We got married at 18 and had been married almost 2 years when we started TTC. We owned our own home and everything. But most people assumed we got married BECAUSE we got pregnant (I LOVED telling them "Oh yeah, we'll be celebrating our third anniversary this year!" when they said stuff like that), that we probably lived with family, ect. I still don't know how to relate to people my age. I joined a board for local moms and there's a young mother's section, so I thought, GREAT! But all they talk about are setting up shopping trips, going out to the club, ect. It really sucks.







My best (and pretty much only) friend is older than my step-mom (which doesn't say much, since my step-mom is 26). In groups with other AP moms, I'm the outcast because I'm the super young, tattoo'd, pierced mama, and with mamas my age I'm the outcast because I'm an AP mom. I can't win.


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## californiajenn (Mar 7, 2007)

Earthyamber,

The teen parenting class sounds so interesting! Tell us more about it. Do you think you made an impact?

Moonprysm,

I totally get what you're feeling. It's like being stuck between worlds, huh? Sometimes, I daydream that Mothering.com's members take over a region in the U.S. so we all have a great place to live


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## earthyamber (Apr 9, 2007)

I really think the parenting classes made a difference. We covered how to stay in school and still be a good parent, basic baby care, handling rude people, how to handle friends and social issues, relationships, homeless and low income resources, cheap and fun activities for babies and kids, nutrition and health, and just lots of talking and venting! It was a lot of fun and everyone learned a lot. We met 2 times a week. We had men and women from ages 13-21 yrs old. Some were pregnant and some had babies or toddlers. We all brought our kids and they played and we chatted. We also did one project a week (such as homemade musical instruments or footprints, etc). It was done in a WIC office and one of the women in WIC helped oversee the meetings. We talked about so much from baby questions to quitting drugs. We saw one girl who battled a herion addiction and we all were there to support her. Thankfully she quit (I helped take care of her baby during that time, she said with my husband and I while she detoxed) and last I heard, she was still sober. It was great connecting and hearing everyone's stories. We all built friendships and felt like someone understood the hardships we faced. Being a new parent is hard for anyone regardless or age, however young parents face a whole new set of challenges. I hope to one day get involved again (I am move around too much now) and do a similar group. I really felt like it was something that kept everyone going through the tough times.


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## Autumn Breeze (Nov 13, 2003)

Thought I'd give a bump and an intro!

I had my first when I was 18, and my second at 22. We're done now, but I'm still 'really young' according to most people I meet, to have two kids.

ds is 5 and dd is almost 2.


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## Autumn Breeze (Nov 13, 2003)

Moonprysm...

I have the same "problem" I just try to associate myself with older mama's. Most of my friends are in their 30's, which isn't "old" but they're almost all 10 years older than I am. With children the same age as mine.

I get along with them much better than most of the local younger mamas.

But my best friend, is 42.


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## lilsishomemade (Feb 12, 2005)

Lots of admiration for you mamas!! I *just* turned 26, and have 3 kids, oldest when I was 21, then my middle son 15 months later (have an angel in heaven between those two), then my baby came right after my middle son's 2nd birthday. I'm not as young as a lot of you are, but I feel pretty young in this area. My mom had my youngest brother when I was 18 and a lot of times, I'll walk up to the school with her to meet him and most of the other moms are about the same age as she is. I guess I live in an area where a lot of women wait till later on to have kids. One woman I work with had her first child at 47.

Lots of inspiration from you guys, I'm older, but a lot of times I still feel like a scared little girl!!


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## weliveintheforest (Sep 3, 2005)

For some reason I thought you were like 25 Amanda, I hadd forgotten what a young'n you are









I am 22, and don't feel so young anymore since lots of women who are younger than me have babies


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## Autumn Breeze (Nov 13, 2003)

Sheila. I will be 25 in October.


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## female18- (Jun 8, 2007)

Hi girls, thought I would join in here








I had a baby at 14, hes 4 now and im 18. My parents kicked me out when I was pregnant, so we were homeless for a year and had to stay in a shelter. Ive been single since I got pregnant. Now we live in a government housing project apartment in a bad neighbourhood. Im too sick to work, we are on welfare. Im trying to figure out a way to get us out of poverty.


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## goosedown77 (Jan 21, 2007)

Hey, how about going to college online? It's a short term financial fix, coupled with a long term gain, and with your poor health, no worries about having to leave the house. Don't worry if you never finished high school, you can get your GED no problem. I did all this after I had by son at 17. You can do it too. I can help. Think about it, a couple hours a day spent doing school work, a couple thousand dollars in student loans (anyone can qualify) to help with bills, and you and your son can be out of poverty and on your way. Anyone who wants to can succeed in college, it isn't as hard as all the hype. I'll check back in a couple of days, think about it! Fall semester is coming up and it isn't too late. -Kelsey


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## goosedown77 (Jan 21, 2007)

Holy cow Erika! You rule!, Same to you Khourtniey. There are almost seven years between my babies, and that is a handful! You guys are my heroes lol. Oh ya, and Tisha, I totally hear you with the "shocked compliment" as you call it. Those were the moments when I most wanted to "act like a teenager" with a good old Fuck You to the condescending commenter. Am I right? -Kelsey


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## female18- (Jun 8, 2007)

Hi kelsey







thanks for that, studying online or a home course is definately what I want to do. I need to look into it all and choose a subject to study. Any suggestions? (I have my GED)


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## boigrrrlwonder (Jan 18, 2007)

I got pregnant at nineteen and had my kid at twenty. I think of myself as young, but not that young. It's hard, because when I go to groups for young parents, none of them are AP - but the local AP group has a couple of mamas who started their families young, also...so I don't feel that wierd!


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## goosedown77 (Jan 21, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *female18-* 
Hi kelsey







thanks for that, studying online or a home course is definately what I want to do. I need to look into it all and choose a subject to study. Any suggestions? (I have my GED)


Well, as far as the looking into it, and the paper work and all that, it's actually pretty simple to get started. The first thing you want to do is fill out your FAFSA application, which is federal student aid. Everyone can get it, and that's where you'll get your free money, like your pell and state grants, which will pay for your tuition and books, and that's also where you'll get your loans, which will be your extra money. Go here, http://www.fafsa.ed.gov/ the first thing you have to do is apply for a personal Identification number, a "pin" with the dept of education. In the "before beginning a fafsa" column, there's a link that says 'students and parents apply for a pin". Go from there. You'll need your social security number to do this. Then once that number comes in the mail, you can fill out your FAFSA online, at the same website. http://www.fafsa.ed.gov/ . After that they'll send you an award letter specifying how much you'll get. They'll send this info to the schools you put on there as well. So before you fill out your fafsa, decide what schools are a possibility, probably the community colleges in you area and they'll be a spot to fill that out on the form. Also, while your at it, contact the schools you like, you know, the ones with the cheapest tuition and best selection of online classes, and find out there application process. It isn't like applying to Harvard, anyone can get into a community college. They'll just need you to fell out a form, prove your id, and pay a small fee, which they'll usually waive if you're unemployed and get your hs transcripts. Then you'll take a placement test, to see where you're at for what classes you can take. Don't even worry about it, I tested into pre-algebra, not exactly college level, but they'll get you started there. Then If you do this, and they get your fafsa, you can register for classes. Don't worry about money for books, most schools have a book store that will take it out of your financial aid, even before you get it. Then you'll start classes, and about a week into it, you'll get you're big fat check. As far what you'll study, you don't have to decide yet, you'll just take generals math, writing, history, science, etc, you'll need that for any degree. I hope this isn't tmi!







: It is definitely worth it though. Let me know if you have any questions. -Kelsey


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## organichic (Jun 27, 2007)

Well you guys are YOUNG! But look how smart you are to be here on the mothering boards! At least you are starting in the right place!

I'm 30 so probably too OLD for this thread, but I got married at 18, had my first at 19, 2nd at 21, 3rd at 24 and 4th (and final!) at 27! I wish I had started out with the the knowledge of mothering mag! I had my first 2 in a military hopsital...YIKES! Then I got smart and became a doula, had my #3&4 at HOME! I apprenticed for a yr with a homebirth midwife before I had my last baby, who's now 3. I will go back to midwifery, but for now I'm a mom and we unschool & enjoy life together!

People also gave me crap for getting married so young, but we'll be celebrating our 12th anniversary this Sept!

bryce


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## goosedown77 (Jan 21, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *female18-* 
Hi kelsey







thanks for that, studying online or a home course is definately what I want to do. I need to look into it all and choose a subject to study. Any suggestions? (I have my GED)


Well, as far as the looking into it, and the paper work and all that, it's actually pretty simple to get started. The first thing you want to do is fill out your FAFSA application, which is federal student aid. Everyone can get it, and that's where you'll get your free money, like your pell and state grants, which will pay for your tuition and books, and that's also where you'll get your loans, which will be your extra money. Go here, http://www.fafsa.ed.gov/ the first thing you have to do is apply for a personal Identification number, a "pin" with the dept of education. In the "before beginning a fafsa" column, there's a link that says 'students and parents apply for a pin". Go from there. You'll need your social security number to do this. Then once that number comes in the mail, you can fill out your FAFSA online, at the same website. http://www.fafsa.ed.gov/ . After that they'll send you an award letter specifying how much you'll get. They'll send this info to the schools you put on there as well. So before you fill out your fafsa, decide what schools are a possibility, probably the community colleges in you area and they'll be a spot to fill that out on the form. Also, while your at it, contact the schools you like, you know, the ones with the cheapest tuition and best selection of online classes, and find out there application process. It isn't like applying to Harvard, anyone can get into a community college. They'll just need you to fell out a form, prove your id, and pay a small fee, which they'll usually waive if you're unemployed and get your hs transcripts. Then you'll take a placement test, to see where you're at for what classes you can take. Don't even worry about it, I tested into pre-algebra, not exactly college level, but they'll get you started there. Then If you do this, and they get your fafsa, you can register for classes. Don't worry about money for books, most schools have a book store that will take it out of your financial aid, even before you get it. Then you'll start classes, and about a week into it, you'll get you're big fat check. As far what you'll study, you don't have to decide yet, you'll just take generals math, writing, history, science, etc, you'll need that for any degree. I hope this isn't tmi!







: It is definitely worth it though. Let me know if you have any questions. -Kelsey


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## Mrs.Bufford (May 30, 2007)

Hey guys, I think I qualify. I'm 20, and pregnant (and about to pop) with my first. I'm married, stuck living with my father in law (we were supposed to be house sitting and he has been here for over a month)!

Female18: you have been through some tough sh*t! It sounds like you are a strong lady, and it also sounds like you are on your way to a financially stable life. I am having to figure out how to have an income, and my mom (who was an ER nurse for 16 years) always reminds me that hospitals will hire and train people to be clerks, or lab workers. Sometimes they will pay for school too. If you are interested in anything medical, there is money to be made and a lot of times it only takes a little time to get certified. LPNs only have to go to school for 2 years here, and radiology technicians (i think) only have to go to school for 2 semesters. If you go the full 4 years and become a Registered Nurse, you can make close to 50 bucks an hour in some places. Different places have different time frames, but its worth looking into.


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## goosedown77 (Jan 21, 2007)

Good Advice for anyone Mrs. B, and Calliope is a GREAT name! -Kelsey


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## Caledvwlch (Jul 5, 2007)

deleted


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## kiwirain (Apr 18, 2007)

I don't know if I'm a really young momma, but I had my son at 21. I'm glad to be a part of this mothering community because I have yet to find like minded parents in my town. I do AP, baby wearing, cloth diapering, breastfeeding, ect and it's foreign to most of my peers.

Anyway just wanted to say hi!


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## californiajenn (Mar 7, 2007)

How do you think being a young parent has effected your career/job?


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## birthjunkie27 (Jul 6, 2005)

I feel old. LOL! I'm 26. Had my first at 19, second at 21, and third at 24. Bradley hospital birth first baby, and homebirths for the next two. I remember the midwife at my first homebirth said I was "so mature" for being 21. She said she had a 21 yr old son and she just couldn't believe the difference. I never really thought about my age and my parenting up until that point.

Although, I do know what some of you mean by not fitting in anywhere. Now that I'm getting *ahem* older.... I find myself not feeling so "judged" by the older moms.


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## birthjunkie27 (Jul 6, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *californiajenn* 
How do you think being a young parent has effected your career/job?

If it wasn't for me being a young mom, I wouldn't even know what career path I'd want to take. It was becoming a mom and experience beautiful homebirths that made me choose to want to become a midwife. I'm starting school this semester for nursing. Fresh out of high school I had NO CLUE what I wanted to do other than get married and have babies.







:


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## Caledvwlch (Jul 5, 2007)

deleted


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## MamaPam (Oct 8, 2005)

Hi, everyone. DH and I got married when I was 18. We got concieved DD#1 six months latter. Had DD#1 at 19. DD#2 at 20 and DD#3 at 21. I'm now 22. I have 3 kids ages 3 and under.

Someone asked about school/career. I'm a SAHM which is what I wanted to do when I had kids to begin with. We're hoping to get everything set for DH to start his MDiv in Jan. I have half of my B.A. done and will start working on classes again some time in the near future. I'm not in any rush to finish though.

-Pam


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## hibana (Jun 9, 2006)

I've introduced myself in here somewhere... anyway, I'm 20, so still very young.

I didn't actually have career plans, just plans to placate people for awhile before having a family. I'm really glad we started when we did. Right now I am taking online classes (see "placating people") but I can't seem to decide what I want to do besides be a mama. If possible, I plan to homeschool dd, so that takes care of the next few years.


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## Milkymommi (Aug 29, 2003)

OK this thread caught my eye... I suppose I don't technically qualify as a super young mama NOW at 28 but I had my first DD just 1 month after my 18th b-day. I can identify. Although to be honest, most people I run into are shocked that I am SO YOUNG and have 4 kiddos and an established life. Hmmm. Way to go young mamas!!


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## lastaats (Oct 12, 2006)

I got pg w/ my first at 19, my 2nd at 22, and my 3rd at 24.
I was a single mom w/ my oldest and married my husband (and father to my other 2) when she was close to 2. My second pg was my only planned pg, but nobody believes it since we weren't married.

I just turned 26 and i still get comments and such for having 3 kids. If i'm out w/ all 3 i've had quite a few people ask "are they all yours?". No, i saw the other 2 outside, thought they were cute and snatched them up.







And it's funny to see the look on people's faces when they ask if Emma is my first and i say 3rd.

I've had doctors and nurses treat me like crap b/c of my age or marital status. And you always get those who think you can't know what you're doing and have to tell you the "right" way (family included).
I believe my aunt and uncle were hoping i'd give up my first baby to them. They were trying to adopt and it fell through. Suddenly they were super interested in me. They came by the house every day for the last month and for a couple months after i had her. If they didn't come by they would call and apologize. I would be sleeping in my room w/ Teryn and wake up to them standing there watching us sleep. They would almost take over any time they were around and wouldn't give her back to me or let me be the mama. I remember crying after they left every time. I would hide in my room and have my mom tell them i wasn't home or we were sleeping from a long day. That was one of the worst things i had to deal w/ being young (and single i suppose).


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## goosedown77 (Jan 21, 2007)

I believe my aunt and uncle were hoping i'd give up my first baby to them. They were trying to adopt and it fell through. Suddenly they were super interested in me. They came by the house every day for the last month and for a couple months after i had her. If they didn't come by they would call and apologize. I would be sleeping in my room w/ Teryn and wake up to them standing there watching us sleep. They would almost take over any time they were around and wouldn't give her back to me or let me be the mama. I remember crying after they left every time. I would hide in my room and have my mom tell them i wasn't home or we were sleeping from a long day. That was one of the worst things i had to deal w/ being young (and single i suppose).[/QUOTE]

Wow, what an ordeal! People lurking around trying to steal your baby! What a way to congratulate and nurture a new mama! Despicable!


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## Raio de Sol (Jun 4, 2007)

the story above is really quite awful!!!! I read a very similar true story in the book Breeders, by Ariel Gore and Bee Lavender (love 'em!).

I had my DD at 23 and I think it was a great age to have kids. I first got preg before that at 21 (or was it 22) and had an abortion because of all the assumptions and misconceptions related to young parenting "I'm gonna grow old so fast", "I won't be able to do anything anymore", "I will not be able to support this baby", and everything else this society leads us to believe. I was in a foreign country without my family, and super scared. Finally, before making the decision, we tried for some family support by mentioning to my MIL that we were planning on having kids, and she was very negative about it, "you are not ready for it", "you won't get any help", "you are not yet responsible financially", plus I didn't know any other young moms (my peers back then were VERY into the stupid _child-free_ idea/movement) so there I went to the clinic...
I really regret it, it was a very painful, emotionally and physically, a very horrible way of finding out I was wrong.








I got pregnant shortly after the abortion, as in my baby saying, "here I am again! have you thought it thru this time?". So I was like, "F* it, I'm gonna do this". Needless to say, I am the happiest person now!

I wonder if there are any threads/tribes/such on here about abortion. I know it's not a very "Mothering" subject (in fact I know several moms here are pro-life and I'm fine with that) but to be honest, I felt like that was the experience that really made me want to become a mother.


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## mama2mad (Feb 1, 2005)

mind if i join??

i was 16 when i had my first, 18 for my 2nd, 20 for my 3rd, im 24 now preg again, they're almost 8, 5, and almost 4 now, yikes!
i did get married to my oldests dad when she was 3mts, we're currently in the process of getting divorced though now
i wanted to be a mom as long as i can remember, i wanted atleast 4 kids, 1 boy and 3 girls...boy first, then girl, then twin girls, lol!! seriously! i was 10! what can i say!? i wasn't super picky about the order *really*, just that i wanted 4. i gave up on it last sept/oct because id just had back-to-back m/ and was having other medical issues, but i don't believe in birth control so surprise surprise! managed to keep this one with prog supplements even after my hcg had taken a drop, just before finding out we'd decided to get divorced, we had 'seperated' in december but still lived together, and obviously dtd on occasion, but decided for him to move out an end it completely, then i find out im preg again! he's moved out though, though we still get along well and hes still planning to come to the birth n such, just that part of "us" is o-v-e-r!


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## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

i'm so excited to see this thread still going!








i have really loved reading all the new posts and i completely understand and relate.


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## embers (Mar 24, 2006)

I am a 22 year old (married) mother of 4. Mine are 4, 8, 11, and 13 - though my oldests are adopted. Most people just assume because of the manner in which my husband and I carry on that we are in our later 30's though.


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## kalohabreeze (Aug 9, 2007)

hi there! young mama here.. 21 had ds at 20







he's about to be a year old


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## CheapPearls (Aug 7, 2007)

I'll jump in here.









I had my oldest at 17, 2nd at 19 and now I'm 21 and due with my 3rd in November. Dh is 21 too (I'm 19 days older







) We've been together since we were 14 so if you don't count age we had a decent "dating time" before having babies. Haha.

I wouldn't give up my kids for anything. I actually haven't had much negative comments (to my face anyway) and our families have always been very supportive of us.

Once I was getting my hair cut when ds#1 was 6 months old and somehow my age came out (18) and the stylist seriously had the nerve to ask if I knew who ds's father was.







: Yeah my husband. She turned BRIGHT RED and didn't really talk the rest of the cut.







Some people just shouldn't talk.


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## MamaPam (Oct 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CheapPearls* 
I'll jump in here.









Once I was getting my hair cut when ds#1 was 6 months old and somehow my age came out (18) and the stylist seriously had the nerve to ask if I knew who ds's father was.







: Yeah my husband. She turned BRIGHT RED and didn't really talk the rest of the cut.







Some people just shouldn't talk.









I had a similar moment. My husband was picking up from work and I was asked , "Oh, is this your baby's daddy?" I said, "uh, yeah, this is my husband."


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## AlpineMama (Aug 16, 2007)

Well, I had my first the day before I turned 24, and will have the second when I'm still 24... Go figure! I know I said I wanted to be done with kids by 25 but I guess fate took that quite literally. (My husband is a year older than me.)

My issue is not that I'm so young but that I *look* very young. I was often in the hospital with my pg and I always got the shocked and rude comments... some very rude nurses actually talked about me within earshot, saying how it's a shame that 15 year olds and such are having babies... like sheesh. And I honestly don't think I look *15* but whatever.









I also had a therapeutic termination at age 19. Before my medical issues developed I was very happy with the pg and definitely would have had him/her even though I would have been a single mother. My (STUPID) doctors told me that I had no choice but to terminate, and I was too sick to do the research myself.


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## momz3 (May 1, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *goosedown77* 
I believe my aunt and uncle were hoping i'd give up my first baby to them. They were trying to adopt and it fell through. Suddenly they were super interested in me. They came by the house every day for the last month and for a couple months after i had her. If they didn't come by they would call and apologize. I would be sleeping in my room w/ Teryn and wake up to them standing there watching us sleep. They would almost take over any time they were around and wouldn't give her back to me or let me be the mama. I remember crying after they left every time. I would hide in my room and have my mom tell them i wasn't home or we were sleeping from a long day. That was one of the worst things i had to deal w/ being young (and single i suppose).


Wow, what an ordeal! People lurking around trying to steal your baby! What a way to congratulate and nurture a new mama! Despicable!







[/QUOTE]

Thats sad and I'm sorry you had to go through that









I've seen adoption message boards that have some ads like these "Any teen moms in trouble? We'd love to adopt your child" Like if you are young or a teen mom you automatically dont want your child







:


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## RileysmamaNM (May 10, 2007)

Jumping in









I love this tribe!

I just turned 22 had my lil one when I was 21 hes 6 months now. So maybe not *really* young. But I relate to a lot of the posts. I dont get any negative comments mostly all positive (as been said, at least not to my face). I do have a hard time finding other young AP moms. I have great friends who are also young mothers but they dont do ANY of the things I do and actually do some stuff I really disagree with. That has been kind of hard. Im a SAHM thanks to my mother letting us live with her. My son was planned but sometimes I feel weird telling people that since I think almost everyone thinks it probably was an accident. But all I ever new since I was little was that I wanted to be a mom more then anything else. We want to have more or possibly adopt also. I wish I knew more AP young mothers.


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## weliveintheforest (Sep 3, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *truemists* 
My issue is not that I'm so young but that I *look* very young. I was often in the hospital with my pg and I always got the shocked and rude comments... some very rude nurses actually talked about me within earshot, saying how it's a shame that 15 year olds and such are having babies... like sheesh.

That happened to my Mum at the hospital when she had me, and to my sister when she had my nephew







My Mum wasn't even that young, she was 22, but she looked much younger with her braces, tiny frame and no makeup. At least one nurse gave her a hard time and didn't believe she was married - as if she would lie about it


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## weliveintheforest (Sep 3, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AutumnBreeze* 







Sheila. I will be 25 in October.

oh yeah I guess thats right, I was thinking you meant you were 22 _now_







:








Sometimes I forget our babies weren't just born








:


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## miss_nikki (Jan 21, 2007)

I suppose I'll jump in too. I was 18 when I became pg with dd#1. I call her my engagement present because she was concieved either the night that dh proposed to me or the day after. She was born when I was 19. DD#2 was concieved when I was 20 born when I was 21. When I was 22 I became pg again and would've been due Christmas eve at age 23, but had a miscarraige. Now I'm 25. Became pregnant with this little person when I was 24 and am due in early/mid Dec. I seem to have a pattern there haha and none of them were exactly planned, but all of them have been welcome.


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## tresleo (Mar 15, 2004)

I was 19 when I got pregnant with my first, 20 when he was born. Not super young, but definately got the "you don't know what your doing" attitude.

My last baby was born this April, 4 months before my 30th birthday. Now I get the "OMG! You don't look old enough to have FIVE!" responses.

I like the responses better, because I know they are being condescending and I feel justified responding.







Whereas before, I wasn't always 100% sure if people were judging me or I was just expecting them to. KWIM?


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## 100%mom (Jan 12, 2007)

I'm a 21 year old Mother of 2. I first got pg at 18, lost that one. Got pg at 19 lost that one. Got pg again at 19 and had DD 2 months after I turned 20. Had DS 2 months ago. Growing up I always wanted to be a wife and mother. If I hadn't gotten married at 18 I probably would have looked into becoming a midwife. Now I'm content to be a SAHM.


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## averysmomma05 (Feb 28, 2007)

hey everyone!

I had first DD when I was 18,2nd DD in July of this year. I am 20 years old married to hubby who is 26. YAY to meet other moms like me lol. Emi


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## angelpie545 (Feb 23, 2005)

Wow we definitely have a good community of young moms here! I love it.


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## granola_mom (Jun 11, 2007)

Here's another young mama!

I got pregnant right after I turned 19. It wasn't planned and it was very difficult for me, but in the end it was the best thing that EVER happened to me! It took my life in a completely different direction to say the least. Now DD is 9 months old and I'm 20. The hardest things about being a young mom I find are 1. I have no friends, really and 2. People don't seem to think I know what I'm doing, especially with all the crunchiness, ie "you do know you're supposed to wean her, right?" ... "uhh, no." LOL.








hi to the other young mamas!


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## RileysmamaNM (May 10, 2007)




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## Gypsy.Momma (Jul 11, 2009)

Hi Ladies! I got Pregnant with my First DD when I was 15 and had her at 16, Had our 2nd DD at 19 and Our 3rd DD at 20 I'm now 22 and we plan on ttc # 4 in the next few months. I grew up in a small town and it I dealt with a lot of sterotypes and bad looks being so young but I beat all of them and since then have gained a lot of respect for the way we are raising our children. Nice to see lots of other proud young momma here!!


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## CheapPearls (Aug 7, 2007)

Good luck with your ttc!


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## theretohere (Nov 4, 2005)

I'll join! I got pregnant with DD1 at, 18 so I guess that makes me a young mama.


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## RileysmamaNM (May 10, 2007)

I went to my midwifes annual picnic I was the only one under 36 I was hoping to meet other moms but none of them seem very interested in talking to me


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## goosedown77 (Jan 21, 2007)

I think I got lucky, I went to my midwife's mothers gathering expecting a bunch of 40 year olds, I actually got five women very near my age, I actually think I am not the youngest! wow huh?


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## Gypsy.Momma (Jul 11, 2009)

Thanks I can't wait to start I actually think I might be already just have to wait 3 more days so I can test...


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## RileysmamaNM (May 10, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *goosedown77* 
I think I got lucky, I went to my midwife's mothers gathering expecting a bunch of 40 year olds, I actually got five women very near my age, I actually think I am not the youngest! wow huh?

awww lucky







, thats awesome!

And good luck mom_2_3_girls!


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## granola_mom (Jun 11, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamatoLL* 
im bumping this back up b/c I have a question for all of you young mamas!

Do you still talk to your people you were friends w/ pre children?

I don't. None of them get me now. They just think im "too" involved w/ my kids and just dont understand why.

My DH on the other hand talks to some of his old friends. But there are very few that I will let around my children b/c they seem to not understand how to talk around kids.







:

Haha... I don't really, either. I mean, just casually but we definitely aren't friends anymore, more of the "oh she's getting so big" small talk. They definitely dont get me, especially APing. I think for some reason they expect me to really want a break and dont get that I dont... for example one of my old friends was telling me all about how we should get together for coffee with NO BABIES, and NO TALK OF BABIES... not because she doesn't want to hear it but because she thought I would prefer it if I didnt have her there







If I wanted that I would have put her in a daycare a long time ago!


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## xtara2003x (Sep 25, 2006)

Young mama here!!!









We planned our DD, and I was 21, my fiance was 23 when we did. Yes that's right...we're not even MARRIED!







: *gasp*

Talk about people judging us! LOL!

We personally don't believe that being LEGALLY married has anything to do with how well you can parent. We are planning to get married in the next year or so. We just want to make it "us" and make it special...so we waited. We could have gotten married any time...we just figured why rush it? We know we love each other and want to spend the rest of our lives together, etc.







:

So anyway...I TOTALLY know what all you other young mamas are talking about!

We have one







: and we





















:







:







:







...

and we also don't vax..

and we get a lot of weird looks from family members, etc, but we don't care. We know what we're doing is right.


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## CheapPearls (Aug 7, 2007)

Bumping for a new member.









Why don't we get this thread going again?


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## Autumn Breeze (Nov 13, 2003)

lol, us young mama's are gettin too old.


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## CheapPearls (Aug 7, 2007)

Yeah we are getting to be old farts huh?

I realized yesterday that I turn 22 in 5 months and I have 3 kids under the age of 4. Scary.


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## Autumn Breeze (Nov 13, 2003)

yeah that'll wear one out!!


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## triscuitsmom (Jan 11, 2007)

I'll join you all









I'm the 21 year old Mama of one... but he was my fourth pregnancy. I got pregnant at 17 and miscarried, and then again a year later and had another miscarriage. Both were not planned. Then we TTC five months after miscarriage #2 and I got pregnant first try but we lost her too.







At the time of losing my third I was just shy of 19.

Fast forward another six months and my partner and I had broken up and I got pregnant very unplanned. My pregnancy stuck, and my DS was born in August of 06.

I raised him for his first year as a single parent, but I am now partnered to an amazing person and we are planning our family together. We will TTC next year sometime









I wouldn't trade being a yong Mom for anything


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## mommy2anthony (Nov 22, 2007)

hey mamas! Wow! I can't believe how many of us there are!!! I had my son a month after I graduated high school at age 18, I'm nineteen now. And I love being a young mama!


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## westcoastma (Jan 10, 2008)

Hey ladies! I'm only on page 2 of reading this thread but thought I'd jump in now before it gets to page 35!

I'm 22 (dp is 26) with my 5 month old son (so I'm not *really* young). I was pregnant when I was 20... didn't find out until I was 21 and just recently had my 22nd bday. I was in college full time when I found out the *unexpected* but *joyous* news! I've put my school on hold for now as I'm a happy SAHM.

There was the huge question of whether I was going to keep the baby or not when the news was fresh. Mostly my friends were assuming that I wasn't, as I had just started my career path, and hadn't *lived* it up like a *normal* 20 yo. But keeping the baby was the only option! He chose me as his Momma, it was meant to be. I don't regret it at all!! I love being a Momma! And anyways, my crazy party days ended when I was like 18.









We got "so when are you getting married?" in the beginning when we told people. Dp's step mom really pushed the conversation-- so uncomfortable. Then I later found out that she was pregnant with her first at the same age as I was, with her _boyfriend_. ??

That's so funny that you started this thread... I was just about to start one for 20 somethings and other young mommas! Ya beat me!

Good to see you other young, responsible mommas out there.


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## cfiddlinmama (May 9, 2006)

Hi mamas! Good to see this thread bumped again. Quick re-intro: I'm 24. I have 4 kids. Got pg at 15 had dd1 at 16. Had ds1 at 17. Had ds2 at 19. Had dd2 at 21. I've been married for 8 years. DH is 28. It's kinda crazy and makes my head spin when I look back! I had 4 kids in less than 5 years.







: It's been an interesting ride. It's weird to not be the youngest mom in a group now. I'm starting to feel old.







I don't really fit in anywhere. I'm too old and experienced a mom for my peers who are on their first or second child. I'm too young and inexperienced for the moms who have kids the same age as mine. I guess it helps that I've always been mature for my age. I liked having my kids young. At the same time, I feel like I'm just now figuring myself out and becoming an adult. It's nice to not be alone. Have a wonderful day!


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## laoxinat (Sep 17, 2007)

Hey young mamas!
Just a note to say, *I* was 27 when DS was born, and was clueless, and my best friend had had her first at 19 and was awesome. Age is not necessarily a prerequisite for being a good mama! I am so awed by all of you and your positive chill spirits! Especially those with big families-I so wanted more but because my xdh was so much older, we only had two







But reading all your stories truly gives me hope for the future.
ROCK ON MAMAS!
Your babies are so lucky


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## Jojo F. (Apr 7, 2007)

Hey mamas! I thought I posted in here but, I can't remember. We had DS when I was 20, DH was 22, and will hopefully decide to have another soon. I'm almost 26, yikes!!!! Don't kick me out yet!

I also agree that I feel like I don't fit in just because of age differences. A while back I had just joined a meetup group for APing and was VERY nervous about meeting everyone. After the first time meeting them DH asked me how it went, if I liked it, etc. I told him- yes, I liked it but, I'm the youngest one there with the oldest kid! Now I am getting used to it again with all of the new school parents I am meeting because DS is in pre-school(which may not last too long, homeschool here we come!)

Anyway, have a great day!! Off to bake, yummmm.


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## Elijahs Momma (Dec 12, 2007)

I'd like to join in! We had ds when I was 19 and dh was 21 (we weren't married at the time, oh no!) Ds is now almost 15 months old and we're going to ttc within the next few months! It's so nice there are people out there to relate to.. where I live you don't see anyone nip or wearing their baby. Thanks!


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## Autumn Breeze (Nov 13, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cfiddlinmama* 
It's weird to not be the youngest mom in a group now. I'm starting to feel old.








I don't really fit in anywhere. I'm too old and experienced a mom for my peers who are on their first or second child. I'm too young and inexperienced for the moms who have kids the same age as mine. I guess it helps that I've always been mature for my age. I liked having my kids young. At the same time, I feel like I'm just now figuring myself out and becoming an adult. It's nice to not be alone. Have a wonderful day!










Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jojo F.* 
I also agree that I feel like I don't fit in just because of age differences. A while back I had just joined a meetup group for APing and was VERY nervous about meeting everyone. After the first time meeting them DH asked me how it went, if I liked it, etc. I told him- yes, I liked it but, I'm the youngest one there with the oldest kid!


This is one of the strangest feelings in the world!! Like I posted above I am 25, had my kids at 18 and 22.

But on top of being the 'youngest with the oldest' (in regards at least to my son, not so much my daughter around here)...dh and I have been married the longest of most of our friends.

Celebrated 7 years last month, and will have been together for ELEVEN this October. lol


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## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CheapPearls* 







Yeah we are getting to be old farts huh?

I realized yesterday that I turn 22 in 5 months and I have 3 kids under the age of 4. Scary.

this was me last year! i had my 3rd in April and my oldest was 3 when i turned 22







: it's been quite the experience.

i'm so happy to see this thread alive and well again.


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## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

forgot to mention...
Juno has stirred up a lot of emotions in my lately so i wrote a diary post of MotherTalkers with a little bit about my experience as a teen mom and how i feel there is a definite prejudice. it made me start thinking about how much i want to start a blog for teen moms new and old with news, stories, and resources. so that's the new project i'm considering because we needed and still do need a voice, IMO.

here's the diary post


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## klosmom (Nov 19, 2007)

Hello! I am no longer really young, I am 26. I had my daughter when I was 17, she is 9 now. I had a lot of support but I also remember the negativity that you speek of. When she was born I participated in a group/class thing called parenting pals and really liked it. Recently I tried to find out if they needed volunteers or if there was a possability of employment only to discover that the program no longer exists. I was disappointed.
I wish I would of know about MDC when I was pregnant! I love this place.


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## megs4413 (Jan 25, 2007)

i cannot tell you how funny it is to me that i'm an old mom in light of this thread! i'm so used to being the youngest mom that this is very nice to see....

i was 21 when DD was born and 23 when we had DS. i'm 24 now. Everyone acted like it was the friggin end of the world to be married at 20 and have a baby at 21, but i wouldn't have it ANY other way. DH and I started dating at 14, so the marriage seemed long overdue by the time we got around to it at 20.









I think we're done having bio kids (but i'm adding a disclaimer that i reserve the right to change my mind at any minute) and I'm excited to be a young empty-nester as well!


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## newmama8824 (Jul 8, 2007)

why have I not seen this tribe before?!?!

Well, HELLO from a young mom. I'm 19, just had my son on the 9th of January this year!









and here i was thinking I was the only young mama on MDC.


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## CheapPearls (Aug 7, 2007)

nak

Hi Samantha. Congrats on your little one!

I have been thinking lately about the girls I went to high school with. I know I'm not the only one with kids, I do know 5 with 2, quite a few more with 1, but I think I'm the only one with 3. Not sure if that makes me feel lonely or not. At least here I don't feel so weird.


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## Lissacamille (Oct 25, 2007)

I love this thread!
For all you young mamas out there, I was 24 with four children. I had mega energy (although at the time I thought I was run ragged...I guess I was!) and was able to really be there for my children.
Looking back, I am so glad I had my children young. At age 42 I am already a grandma and it is super! I still have lots of energy to be with my grandson and am looking forward to more grandchildren while in my forties.
After having my children, I was able to finish my degree and start a rewarding career once the youngest started school.
Having children young is something you never regret. Kudos to you all!
Lissa


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## aaronsmom (Jan 22, 2007)

Glad I found this tribe! I thought I was a "youngster" here on MDC!








DH and I got preggo with DS when we were 17. He was born when I was 2 weeks shy of 18. DD was just born on Jan. 16th (UC! w00t!!) and she was planned. DH is now 20 (as of Dec. 28th '07) and I'll turn 20 in March. We're planning more but we won't TTC again for at least 2 years.
Hello to all you mamas!


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## waiting2bemommy (Dec 2, 2007)

Wow and here I thought I was the youngest one on this board! lol. I got married (and pregnant, all on the same day, lol) at 19. Ds is 2 months old and I will be 21 in May. His dad (no longer my dh) is not so young at 27. Glad to have found you all!


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## Summertime Mommy (Dec 5, 2003)

I'm not particularly young anymore, I'm 25, but was once a very young mom. I had my ds at 17, got married at 19 and became a fulltime parent of dsd. Then had another dd at 20, and the fourth at 21. We are now expecting #5. People are always shocked by how many kids I have when I tell them, they assume I am too young to have that many.


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## PaigeP143 (Feb 15, 2008)

I'm a young mom! I am 20 and have a 20 month old. I'm married to my son's father who is 23. I love being a young mom and so glad there are so many others!


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## aaronsmom (Jan 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PaigeP143* 
I'm a young mom! I am 20 and have a 20 month old. I'm married to my son's father who is 23. I love being a young mom and so glad there are so many others!

Welcome to MDC, Paige!


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## PaigeP143 (Feb 15, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aaronsmom* 
Welcome to MDC, Paige!









Thank you!


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## aaronsmom (Jan 22, 2007)




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## kiwi87 (Mar 1, 2008)

Ohhh, can I join?







I am definitely a *really* young momma! I had my DD when I was 19 (I'm 20 now). It has been quite a struggle, but pure joy as well and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I'd really love to chat it up with all of you young mommas!


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## aaronsmom (Jan 22, 2007)

Nice to meet you, kiwi! I'm 20 yo also.


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## CheapPearls (Aug 7, 2007)

I'm having a mental breakdown. Okay not really







. My oldest is about to turn 4 in 2 weeks and he has outgrown 'toddler' sizes and now wears actual kids clothes. What ever will I do?! He's growing up way too fast. He's a little man already.


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## momtokimari (Mar 8, 2008)

I had DD at 19. I had just gotten married, so I don't get as much crap from people, but I still get the 'looks'. I'm 20 now, and I'll be ttc #2 in a few months, probably after my 21st birthday


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## 143Midwest (Mar 12, 2008)

Perhaps I'm too old for this thread, but at the same time most moms I know are a bit older than me. I'm turning 24 at the end of the month, and I'm over half way through my 1st pregnancy. I feel like I fit into a very strange in between area, where there is less judgment but I'm still rather lacking in peers.

When I got married at 20 I know a lot of people thought I was pregnant, and now that I'm pregnant people are surprised I've been married for 3 years. I just can't win.


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## acannon (Nov 21, 2007)

I'm glad I found this thread! I was looking around for one like this! I had Jamie a few weeks after I turned 19. DP is 24. I feel a little weird going out in public with DS, because I assume that people think I'm a poor, single mom (not that that's bad, but I don't want people to think I'm something I'm not) and I look younger than I am. People have told me I look like I'm 15. I live in the south, and relatives have told me that there's more young moms here than up north, where I used to live (is that true?) No one has said anything mean to me yet, though. All positive comments, especially when he's in the sling







I feel kinda weird about joining mama groups, though, even though I joined a few local ones. I haven't been to any meetings yet, but that's more of a transportation issue than anything. Anyone want to trade AIM screennames? I'm trying to find some mama friends and it would be great to talk to someone around my age, maybe who even has kids who are older or around the same age as my LO.


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## VeeNice21 (Mar 20, 2008)

I am so happy to have found this Forum! I felt so alone in a sea full of mamas who think they know more cause they are older! I bf my DD, use CD and wear my babe! I know plenty of older moms who are doing crazy things like feeding their kids french fries and letting them guzzle soft drinks. I had my DD at 19 and eveyone thought I'd be just some dumb young girl trying to party it up instead of being a good mommy, boy did I prove them wrong! I put my own mother to shame with my parenting skills







.


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## jacquelinej11 (Jan 13, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *VeeNice21* 
I am so happy to have found this Forum! I felt so alone in a sea full of mamas who think they know more cause they are older! I bf my DD, use CD and wear my babe! I know plenty of older moms who are doing crazy things like feeding their kids french fries and letting them guzzle soft drinks. I had my DD at 19 and eveyone thought I'd be just some dumb young girl trying to party it up instead of being a good mommy, boy did I prove them wrong! I put my own mother to shame with my parenting skills







.

Right on









I want to write more but DS wants me to watch him eat - when I don't and he wants me to he tears my nipples apart and bangs on my chest







so brb


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## Hesperia (Sep 3, 2007)

Maybe I can get some support here from all your lovely strong ladies.

I'm 21, so not young, young. I never partied, or got into that 'wild' stage all teenagers are 'seposed' to. My partner and I have been together for 3 years, and are getting married in June, just for fun really....we don't really care for marriage, but it would be nice to bond our love in words.

We don't want children yet, ok, he doesn't and our finances don't, but I do. If we had kids now, we would both be elated, I've been off birthcontrol for 2.5 years now.

I've been studying everything to do with child rearing for atleast 2 years. I've been a nanny for 3, worked in a daycare, as a new born photographer, my mom owns a daycare...you get the idea. I'm ready. Very emotionally ready.

My DP and I have had long engadging convos on how to CD, non-vax, non-circ, family bed, home birth...you get it. We scoured all angles, and I feel we both know what we want, and understand how to acheive those dreams.

YET,

Everyone around me, puts me down for being vegan and even thinking about children! I honestly think if I got pregnant right now (heres to hoping), that I would be able to grow a backbone and tell those naysayers to push off. But since they are all in their BTDT mind set, they cannot even fathum my choices. I mean I guess I could shut my trap and get baby dancing, but that isn't my personality.

Anyways, I've been searching all over MDC for 4 hours about where to post for support, and I think this is my best chance thus far.

One of my good friends, whom I should probably just stop being friends with, tells me I wont 'find' myself until 25, because that's when everyone she knows did. I found myself at 18 thankyouverymuch when my mother kicked me out of the home and I learned to fend for myself.

Basically, I feel I have no support.

Hugs please.


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## Sage.Naissance (Feb 5, 2008)

Hesperia, Join us yearning mothers to be in the Not Mothers Yet tribe. You will get lots of love and support there. Some of us are young, some older, all of us want to be mamas but aren't for whatever reason.
I am 'ready' to have kids other than the fact that I need to finish school and work and I am UTTERLY single. However, I am 21 as well, despite the fact that I have; been living on my own, supporting myself, running a household and being a very functional human being, and I support women through childbirth, and the transition into motherhood, (and am quite good at it, I might add) and the fact that I spent three years raising other peoples kids and keeping their houses (a full time nanny), if I got pregnant now all of my friends and family would just lose it! Despite the fact that I have already done a tonne of travelling, attended university, found my calling, worked many serious 'grown up jobs', and created a lovely life where I grow my own food and have fixed up an awfully lovely little house, when my mother had done none of this by the time I was born other than the university thing, and the finding her calling thing, and many folks my age still smoke pot in their parents basement. And some of the 21 yr old mamas on here are among those who I respect and admire the most. So hopefully we can throw out the golden standard that we all 'find ourselves at 25'. Because that is an idea that has obviously been proven wrong. Dont get me wrong I've met a lot of irresponsible young girls who've gotten pregnant and not been mature enough to handle and the whole thing has been a disasterous mess, however those are certain people and I bet things would have turned out a lot better if they had better support.
I have gone through all the phases, just rather quickly. I went through my rebellious teenager phases, partying phases, hippy phases, punk phases, vegetarian phases, business-like phases, whatever... and come out to be a well rounded and secure woman. Some of the 35 yr old women with houses and partners have not been ready to be a mama (emotionally) in the way that I am. At least I think so.
That being said I need to establish myself and umm... find a partner, before of any of that so logistically, I am so not ready.


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## Hesperia (Sep 3, 2007)

Thank you Sage, I guess I should just come on over. Just looking at all those pages though, whoa. Guess it must have something pretty good going on over there.


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## Sage.Naissance (Feb 5, 2008)

Just lots of love happening in the NMY tribe.


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## aaronsmom (Jan 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *acannon* 
I'm glad I found this thread! I was looking around for one like this! I had Jamie a few weeks after I turned 19. DP is 24. I feel a little weird going out in public with DS, because I assume that people think I'm a poor, single mom (not that that's bad, but I don't want people to think I'm something I'm not) and I look younger than I am. People have told me I look like I'm 15. I live in the south, and relatives have told me that there's more young moms here than up north, where I used to live (is that true?) No one has said anything mean to me yet, though. All positive comments, especially when he's in the sling







I feel kinda weird about joining mama groups, though, even though I joined a few local ones. I haven't been to any meetings yet, but that's more of a transportation issue than anything. Anyone want to trade AIM screennames? I'm trying to find some mama friends and it would be great to talk to someone around my age, maybe who even has kids who are older or around the same age as my LO.

I always hesitate to join playgroups or momma groups because the other moms are usually way older than me and I feel singled out or looked down upon.







Some people have actually asked me if DS was my little brother.







:


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## elizaveta (Jul 1, 2005)

Wow, I somehow missed this tribe! I'm a young Mama as well. I found out I was pregnant with dd when I was 19 and had her at 20 and I'll be 23 next month. My husband and I have been together for five years and married for three.


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## SeekingSleep (Mar 25, 2008)

I guess I'm a young mama too! I got pg with DS when I was 20 (found out for sure 2 days before my 21st bday). I never was one of the go partying and clubbing people anyways and have wanted to be a mommy as long as I can remember so it was just right for me! DH and I have been best friends for 6 years, but had just met in person for the first time the week I got pg. So we caught hell for not only being unmarried and pg but "not possibly *knowing* each other" and living 2,500 miles or so apart at the time.


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## onelilguysmommy (May 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aaronsmom* 
I always hesitate to join playgroups or momma groups because the other moms are usually way older than me and I feel singled out or looked down upon.







Some people have actually asked me if DS was my little brother.







:

you know thats funny because my little brother was born right before i turned 12 (were the only living ones)
and i look older so everyone thought he was mine.
it was a cross between being like "umm..no, why would you think that?" and "cool, i look like a good mommy"









i dont remember if i posted here..
anyway i just turned 21 a couple weeks ago, my oldest (living) turned 3 2 days later and my little turned 8 months the day after


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## skolbut (Feb 18, 2008)

You mamma's are amazing. I'm not a "young" mom but this thread caught my eye. Looking back at my 21 year old self (and younger) I could not have done what comes to you naturally. I look very young and had my first at 27, which was perfect for me. Lots of people thought I was younger and said things like "but you're so young to be starting a family", and I was thinking to myself "it's about time I got going on this parenting thing". I can't imagine being young and hearing that all the time. It would take so much strength to stand up for what you believe in.

One of my best friend had her first at 18. Our group of girlfriends spent time as a group very often, having a barbecue or going to the beach, etc. just to hang out and watch her little miracle. That little miracle was in my wedding and helps out with my ds. I look to my friend and her dh as a model of the kind of marriage my dh and I strive for, and we look to be as good of parents as they are. It doesn't matter what age they were when they got pg. Her mom was a young mamma and a young grammy and she is so youthful and energetic and loves what she's doing -- unlike my mom who is worn out after only a day with my ds.

Keep it up ladies. Your children will thank you for passing along good genes and you'll be happy to not be chasing around little ones in your 40's.


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## damona (Mar 27, 2008)

wow, i wish i had found this site a few years ago! i'm "old" now... almost 28... but i had my first just after i tuned 18. i've got 4 boys now and sadly, we were more financially solvent and all that other "grown up" stuff when i was 18 and dh was 21! being an adult just ain't what it's cracked up to be...


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## frontierpsych (Jun 11, 2006)

I don't really consider myself a young mom (I'm 21-- on my third pregnancy after one full term loss and one at 10 weeks) but I am surprised by just how much society sees me as such. Funny to think that when my grandma had my oldest uncle at 19 it was pretty standard, but when I ended up pregnant at 19 I was "way too young" (even though I was in a stable marriage and financially secure). Our society seems to have really twisted values. There are great 15 year old moms and terrible 30 year old moms, and as far as I've seen, age does not determine one's ability to parent AT ALL.


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## nerdymom (Mar 20, 2008)

I may not qualify as "young young" either but still I am hurt by people who give me that look, that you're too young to be pregnant look. I'll be 22 ina few weeks, that makes me three years older than my mom when she was pregnant. In addition to my age I am married and working on financial security (can you ever be as secure as you'd like to be?). I understand your pain, Frontierpsych. And more power to you ladies who are my age and working on number two or three!


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## onelilguysmommy (May 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nerdymom* 
I may not qualify as "young young" either but still I am hurt by people who give me that look, that you're too young to be pregnant look. I'll be 22 ina few weeks, that makes me three years older than my mom when she was pregnant.

yeah this goes along with my dad insisting when i had my first that i was going to be/am a horrible mom and his mother was such a great one cause she was older.
guess how much older she was?
THREE DAYS at the oldests birth! three flipping days!
wtf?


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## ishereal (Sep 12, 2007)

Hello I am a young Momma I got pregnant July of 07 when I was 19 and I turned 20 August of 07. I am due April 08


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## nerdymom (Mar 20, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *onelilguysmommy* 
yeah this goes along with my dad insisting when i had my first that i was going to be/am a horrible mom and his mother was such a great one cause she was older.
guess how much older she was?
THREE DAYS at the oldests birth! three flipping days!
wtf?

Lol, sounds like someone still saw you as his little girl! Thankfully I didn't have to fight my parents, they were so excited for us. My dad couldn't wait to start wearing "cool grandpa" tshirts! lol I get a real kick out of that.


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## gratefulmomma87 (Mar 25, 2008)

another young mom happy to find this group!
I'm 20 and due in mid May, and this pregnancy couldn't have been a more natural, life changing, and positive event. In the beginning it made me sad when I told people and they gave me that look of concern and doubt. The "you don't know what you're getting into" look. Well, excuse me, I don't care if you're 20 or 40, you NEVER know. Life's a journey and I completely respect that and embrace this new change.
I can't wait to use my sling, CD, and BF!
Like a lot of other people said, the very few moms my age didn't breast feed because its "gross" and I've even seen one friend of a friend feed her 16/mo french fries!








Sigh.
Again, SOOOO happy to find other crunchy young momma's here!


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## SAHDS (Mar 28, 2008)

Hello ladies! Let's see...

I got pregnant 2 days after my 19th birthday with DD. 16 months after her birth, DH and I welcomed DS into the mix. 2 children at *barely* 21!

Like others have said, all I have ever wanted to be (besides an astronaut when I was 6) was a wife and mother. I wanted to stay at home with my children and experience their childhood to the absolute fullest, unlike my mother. My life has been completely devoted to my family and I wouldn't change it for anything!

Funny thing, I still get odd looks when people find out how old my children are. Seriously? Nearly 9 years later and they still want to judge? What's funny is when I tell them how old my kids are and they say "How old are you???"; most people peg me at 18-19. Sometimes people ask DH (who also looks very young) and I if they're our brother and sister *sigh* It doesn't bother me, but I always wonder how my children feel about it. So far, they couldn't care less. They both say they think it's better cause we're weirder and more fun









Anyway, it's gotten much easier to turn the other cheek, especially knowing what a wonderful mother I am. What's the saying..? "Your opinion of me weighs less than air."

HUGS to all!


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## DocsNemesis (Dec 10, 2005)

I dunno if I count. Got preggo with my first at 17, had him when I was 18. Met my hubby when he was 18 mos old and got preggo again. I'm on my 5th (including a surrogacy, so my 4th baby) and I'm 25. Dh just turned 26. And my oldest just turned 8!!

I've learned so much since I had my first. Actually probably as a result of my first (I hated his birth, his infancy, etc-and even now its hard as he has ADHD, Epilespy, and Bipolar disorder, I have no contact with his bio father and have no clue of their history). I've moved from an OB and induction in a hospital, to midwives and homebirth.

I'm lucky because my dh just happens to have the same parenting ideals as me for the most part. He was even happy when he found out my first wasnt circ'd!! (which at the time was purely because medicaid didnt cover it and I was a cheap butt lol) We cosleep up to about 2 years, nurse as long as I want (last time it was 18 months), babywear, and cloth diaper when I'm not being too lazy to do so. I cant wait for our new little dude!!


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## S.Raine-Drop (Apr 5, 2008)

Hello all!

I'm married to my high school sweetheart, we were good friends since Freshman year and we finally got together Junior year. Then, on our Senior prom we got married!







3 Months later I was pregnant and here I am now!

I hate all the criticism and women especially who think they know better than I do. My favorite is hearing someone say my child is going to grow up "f#cked up" because of my husband's and my age. It is SO hard to keep one's cool during such a conversation.

More power to a successful teen mom/dad. My heart goes out to all of you who went through it and all of you who currently are, you are truly amazing! I'm just learning exactly what it means for me and I must say having inspiration and strong women to follow behind makes all the difference in the world.


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## boigrrrlwonder (Jan 18, 2007)

For those of you with multiple children, was it easier for your family to accept when you had your second? DP and I are talking about TTC. I'm excited, but I'm worried about telling my parents. They did not take my first pregnancy at all. My mother became suicidal, pressured me to adopt out the baby, divorce my father because they failed as parents, etc... My father has made negative comments about the possibility of me becoming pregnant again, soon. We still plan to TTC hopefully at the end of the year, though. Any advice on making this second go around less sucky?


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## Mommy2anangel (Dec 17, 2007)

I was 20 when I had DS. Dh and I got married when I was 19 and he was 24 and I became preggo a month after we got married








Now at 22, I'm pregnant with out 2nd (planned)

boigrrrlwonder, we eloped and things weren't great with my parents initially, and then we told them I was pregnant, well it seemed it'd never get better, and then my mom started getting excited about being a grandma and things turned for the better. With this one, we were trying for 10 months before I did get pregnant, and I told my mom we were thinking of having more kids soon (I didn't tell her we were trying) and she kept trying to tell me to wait, I'm still young, I can have more children later on. But I knew what I wanted, and I told her recently that we were pregnant again and she was happy for me (didn't express it in so much words..not very emotional like that, but she's always calling asking how I'm feeling, telling me to take it easy etc etc). I told her on her birthday actually. I haven't told my dad yet (I don't know if my mom said anything, he hasn't called saying anything about it..but I think he'd be happy for me, he'd probably make some wierd comment about it but I know he'd be happy)
I said that I wanted him to have a bro/sis close in age, so he won't be too lonely, if you're looking for things to say to them. Also ultimately, it's your and DP's decision.


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## acannon (Nov 21, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mommy2anangel* 
Dh and I got married when I was 19 and he was 24

Wow! That's cool! I'm 19 and my DP is 24, too! That's really nifty.


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## Cherie2 (Sep 27, 2006)

here is a really cool website you all might like:
http://www.girl-mom.com/


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## damona (Mar 27, 2008)

cherie, i used to love girl-mom! i stopped posting there because i felt a little odd since i am now so much older than most of the girls there, but i still lurk now and then! most of those girls really have their stuff together, it's pretty cool.


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## Cherie2 (Sep 27, 2006)

I guess there is trouble with the girl-mom site, the boards are not working, thats too bad. I hope they get it up and running again.


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## gratefulmomma87 (Mar 25, 2008)

For all the single student mommas or mommas looking to start school, in addition to the FAFSA, there's www.raisethenation.org. They have grants and scholarships that aren't based on GPA, and they also have student loan repayment grants specifically for single moms trying to get a degree

I just started an app, and I found out about them from a link from my current school -- hope others can benefit from this info.


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## gradmama (Sep 2, 2007)

Hi everyone! I'm 30 now, but.....I had my girls at 17, 18 and 20!


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## kittywitty (Jul 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *boigrrrlwonder* 
For those of you with multiple children, was it easier for your family to accept when you had your second? DP and I are talking about TTC. I'm excited, but I'm worried about telling my parents. They did not take my first pregnancy at all. My mother became suicidal, pressured me to adopt out the baby, divorce my father because they failed as parents, etc... My father has made negative comments about the possibility of me becoming pregnant again, soon. We still plan to TTC hopefully at the end of the year, though. Any advice on making this second go around less sucky?

It was harder. The first they were very accepting. But my 2nd 13 months later noone was supportive at all. And it seems to be the same with #3 and #4, too.


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## boigrrrlwonder (Jan 18, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cherie2* 
I guess there is trouble with the girl-mom site, the boards are not working, thats too bad. I hope they get it up and running again.

I help mod at girl-mom. Our site was hacked by misogynists. We're working on getting it up and running again.


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## crazyeight (Mar 29, 2006)

i guess i belong here! first was born when i was 19.5 and second was born when i was 21.5 (halves get me too!). i am the youngest mom in our playgroup but everyone usually forgets. i forget half the time too! i have to many responsibilites to worry about what other people think. thankfully living in abig city really dulls the hate or surprise. its usually a shocked/awed surprise when people find out how old i am. i had someone ask me a few days ago "so wht did you do before kids?".....uh....nothing...i am to young to have done anything. i am 23 next month!

i would LOVE to have 3 more in the next 4-5 yrs but i doubt it will happen. my life has never been "normal" and having this odd 2 kids, 1 boy, 1 girl, 3 bed 2 bath house and a dog is just kinda weird. its like waiting for the other shoe to drop. might as well make it a FUN shoe by just having more kids.

both are "accidnets" although the 2nd less of one since we were married and only 50% useing protection although ddn't PLAN to have another. ds on the other hand was a COMPLETE surprise..i still remember breaking down crying in the bathroom of a sh*tty little hotel where i lived and wondering what the heck was going to happen to me....to us. thankfully i knew i couldn't abort and i didn't want to give the baby up so there wasn't a whole lot of choice!

I would LOVE to go to college and learn but i wonder if i can handle it. there so many wants in my life that i wonder if i can get them all done.


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## SAHDS (Mar 28, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dhinderliter* 
both are "accidnets"

LOL, I call both of mine "surprises".

I wanted to comment because your story sounds a lot like mine!

- Unmarried and BAM! Pregnant with #1, then married, but didn't plan on another and were pretty 'safe' until BAM! #2.

- Military wife? DH was in the Marine Corps for the first 2 years of our marriage







Who is your hubby with?

My DS is an Ethan too


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## crazyeight (Mar 29, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SAHDS* 
LOL, I call both of mine "surprises".

I wanted to comment because your story sounds a lot like mine!

- Unmarried and BAM! Pregnant with #1, then married, but didn't plan on another and were pretty 'safe' until BAM! #2.

- Military wife? DH was in the Marine Corps for the first 2 years of our marriage







Who is your hubby with?

My DS is an Ethan too









they were certainly surprises! i always say good accidents too! dh is with af. we have another 1ish years before reup but i think he will...and with the economy i think he should.

ethan seemed to be catching on right after i named ds. course now ayla is starting to catch on







i really wanted unique but not names that were easily made fun off.


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## SAHDS (Mar 28, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dhinderliter* 
dh is with af. we have another 1ish years before reup but i think he will...and with the economy i think he should.

DH was in the MC and I couldn't *wait* to get out. I just hated being away from my family and the military telling us where to go/live. Plus, back then, the pay was at poverty level (not easy with 2 babies and a SAHM). I hear the AF is much better, especially now. One of my really good friends' DH is in the AF and they love it









Quote:

ethan seemed to be catching on right after i named ds. course now ayla is starting to catch on







i really wanted unique but not names that were easily made fun off.
I know! I had the name Ethan picked out in '98 (it was going to be DD's name if she turned out to be a boy). It's crazy how popular it is now. DD is Victoria/Tori and that's fairly rare at the moment.

Ayla, how pretty!


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## damona (Mar 27, 2008)

my kids names are just good, sturdy, old-fashioned boy names. which, at the time, were unusual! now, two of 'em are in the top 10. figures. at least i don't know anyone else who name their kids that name that year, kwim?

although i had dropped out at 16, in my graduating class, at graduation, there were 4 girls who were pregnant that i knew well, a couple who we found out later were pregnant, and few others who'd had an abortion that year. which sounds like a lot, but my class was a couple hundred kids, so not so bad maybe? how about you gals?


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## crazyeight (Mar 29, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SAHDS* 
DH was in the MC and I couldn't *wait* to get out. I just hated being away from my family and the military telling us where to go/live. Plus, back then, the pay was at poverty level (not easy with 2 babies and a SAHM). I hear the AF is much better, especially now. One of my really good friends' DH is in the AF and they love it









I know! I had the name Ethan picked out in '98 (it was going to be DD's name if she turned out to be a boy). It's crazy how popular it is now. DD is Victoria/Tori and that's fairly rare at the moment.

Ayla, how pretty!

oh i like tori!! thats nice. victoria is proffessional for when she's older and i always LOVED nicknames...but i never got one.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *damona* 
my kids names are just good, sturdy, old-fashioned boy names. which, at the time, were unusual! now, two of 'em are in the top 10. figures. at least i don't know anyone else who name their kids that name that year, kwim?

although i had dropped out at 16, in my graduating class, at graduation, there were 4 girls who were pregnant that i knew well, a couple who we found out later were pregnant, and few others who'd had an abortion that year. which sounds like a lot, but my class was a couple hundred kids, so not so bad maybe? how about you gals?

i dropped out at 17 but my junior year i went to 2 differnt HS. didn't really get to know many people that well. there was 1 person i knew in the senior class a few years ahead of me was pg but still going to school. it was uncommen to be pg yet commen. Commen if you were dropped out and "shacking up" with your BF and he was working..typical "white trash" situation. it was UNcommen for pg girls to stay in school i think. i wasn't much on the gossip or popular side of things so i am not sure about "scares" or almosts and what not.


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## Mommy2anangel (Dec 17, 2007)

How do you mamas in school balance it all? I find being an AP mama is so time consuming, and while I so desperately want to finish my degree, it's not my first priority. I do want to finish, but I'd so much rather SAH with my LO. I was a sophmore in college when we got married and I left in hope of going back soon. But not anytime soon anymore







since we are expecting another one at the end of the year. (Planned)


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## katbomumof3 (Sep 16, 2007)

hi all, i guess i belong here,







i had my first at 18, my second at 21 and my third 5 mos ago at 25. i was raising the girls alone (other than a year of hell with my ex who didn't help anyhow) until a year and a half ago when i married my highschool sweetheart, who is my oldest bio dad. He just adopted dd2 this year, and we had ds. We live in a tiny house and often get jokes made about being so young, especially when hanging with highschool friends, b/c its then we realize, wow, we have a 7 yr old








I have often gotten the "you look too young to have kids" even when i'm just with ds, so when i tell ppl, yeah, i have two others too, i get blank stares. or i tell them, yeah, i am too young, but i wouldnt have it any other way








nice to meet you all!


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## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

Hey everyone! Just checking in to say "hey!" to y'all- especially the newbs.

So glad to see this thread still alive!


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## ilm2 (Apr 26, 2007)

I can't remember if i've posted somewhere in this thread before (this SN is new I forgot my old password).
I had my first at 17, now i'm 29 with a 12 yo. The stigma never goes away, even now that i'm about to turn 30 i'm still a 29 yo with a 12 yo. I still get a lot of the same treatment I got when I was 21 with 2 kids.

It's worse that i'm a 29 yo with 4 kids. I was done at 25 when most of my friends were just having their first.


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## damona (Mar 27, 2008)

ilm2, i hear ya. i just turned 28 and have 4 kids. my oldest is about to be 10, youngest almost 4. people ask how old the kids are and you can just see them trying to figure it out "now, how old does that make her...?" i had 4 babies in 6 years, so i was done by 24. i have 2 other friends that had their babies early, but the rest of them just started having kids. so now, my crew is old enough to leave with sitters, etc, so i'm getting some semblance of a life back, and my friends are all pregnant or have new babies!


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## gracequinn (Jun 5, 2005)

hi, i'm excited to have found this, i guess i might be old for it now, but i'm 25, my hubby is 27, we have an almost 10 year old 5.5 year old and a 2 year old. i hate to say it but we are done!

i think even harder than the shunning looks from people thinking my child was being brought to kindergarten on her first day by a babysitter was the reaction to homebirthing those babies. i was told i was wreckless, that it was my way of rebelling and all kinds of other terrible garbage from people who didn't understand, even if they were our parents. i wanted to be a midwife since i saw willow when i was like 6 and so it just never left, i'm doing a apprenticeship now, finished high school on time with my class, busted my butt and have an amazing life to show for it. we struggle - don't get me wrong but we are fighting the good fight and we will not stop, until we're in our 40's our kids are all grown and we can reeelax while our friends are pulling their hair out because they don't remember what it was like to be a teenager but are somehow trying to relate to them!

i am volunteer peer leader for young pregnant girls.
mommas are mommas pure and simple


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## boigrrrlwonder (Jan 18, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gracequinn* 
i am volunteer peer leader for young pregnant girls.
mommas are mommas pure and simple

That's awesome. I'd love to do something like this. I was in a program for teen moms at one point and it helped me so much - I've since moved.


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## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gracequinn* 
mommas are mommas pure and simple


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## ilm2 (Apr 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *damona* 
ilm2, i hear ya. i just turned 28 and have 4 kids. my oldest is about to be 10, youngest almost 4. people ask how old the kids are and you can just see them trying to figure it out "now, how old does that make her...?" i had 4 babies in 6 years, so i was done by 24. i have 2 other friends that had their babies early, but the rest of them just started having kids. so now, my crew is old enough to leave with sitters, etc, so i'm getting some semblance of a life back, and my friends are all pregnant or have new babies!

Oh! The count backwards pause! I know it well. "Wow you don't look old enough to have a child that age" Then they ask dd's age, then mine, then they pause and sort of roll their eyes up while they count backwards in their head.

I've always wanted to say "oh i'll hold on while you count that down"

Although, the fact that dh and I married at 18 and all the kids have the same father somewhat redeems me in "their" eyes.
There is nothing I hate more than the "do they all have the same father?"

I always want to say "I don't know, maybe I should call Maury Povich and find out"

The kicker is that all 4 of my kids look just alike. Like little clones and everyone comments on it and often ask if they are twins, so it makes the babydaddy comments all the more rude.


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## ilm2 (Apr 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gracequinn* 
hi, i'm excited to have found this, i guess i might be old for it now, but i'm 25, my hubby is 27, we have an almost 10 year old 5.5 year old and a 2 year old. i hate to say it but we are done!

i think even harder than the shunning looks from people thinking my child was being brought to kindergarten on her first day by a babysitter was the reaction to homebirthing those babies. i was told i was wreckless, that it was my way of rebelling and all kinds of other terrible garbage from people who didn't understand, even if they were our parents. i wanted to be a midwife since i saw willow when i was like 6 and so it just never left, i'm doing a apprenticeship now, finished high school on time with my class, busted my butt and have an amazing life to show for it. we struggle - don't get me wrong but we are fighting the good fight and we will not stop, until we're in our 40's our kids are all grown and we can reeelax while our friends are pulling their hair out because they don't remember what it was like to be a teenager but are somehow trying to relate to them!

i am volunteer peer leader for young pregnant girls.
mommas are mommas pure and simple


I'm a homebirther too. Breastfeeding, Homeschooling, former teen mother. I don't fit in anywhere.

I would love to volunteer too. Unfortunatly our local teen pg program shut down due to lack of funding several years ago.


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## damona (Mar 27, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ilm2* 
Oh! The count backwards pause! I know it well. "Wow you don't look old enough to have a child that age" Then they ask dd's age, then mine, then they pause and sort of roll their eyes up while they count backwards in their head.

I've always wanted to say "oh i'll hold on while you count that down"

Although, the fact that dh and I married at 18 and all the kids have the same father somewhat redeems me in "their" eyes.
There is nothing I hate more than the "do they all have the same father?"

I always want to say "I don't know, maybe I should call Maury Povich and find out"

The kicker is that all 4 of my kids look just alike. Like little clones and everyone comments on it and often ask if they are twins, so it makes the babydaddy comments all the more rude.


i am so right there with you! i've been with my dh since i was 16. my kids are all his kids. people just seem to think that they have the right to ask if they all have the same daddy. irritates the heck outta me. it's like they are calling you a sl*t without actually saying the word. i mean, do people do this to older moms? i've never seen someone walk up to a late 30's mom and say, "oh, are all your kids by the same guy?" i'll bet that's a lot more rare.

my boys are all practically identical, too. mt 3rd ds has more reddish hair n the others are all dark blonde, but other than that... the 2 oldest are practically twins. and when i buzz their hair for the summer? oh man. even i have to double check which little blond crewcut i'm talking to at times!


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## CheapPearls (Aug 7, 2007)

I used to volunteer at the teen moms school here, I went there my senior year of high school but we're moving in a couple of weeks.







I'm going to miss that. I was working on becoming a mentor with the girls.

I haven't had anyone ask if they have the same father but once when my oldest was a baby I had someone ask if I knew who the father was.







I mean REALLY?! Who actually ASKS someone that?! She was cutting my hair so I wasn't about to turn around and smack her for being an idiot so I said "yeah my husband." That pretty much created a very awkward silence for the next 5ish minutes. She didn't get a tip. I believe I've said it before here but stupid people really shouldn't be allowed to talk.


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## Cherie2 (Sep 27, 2006)

ilm2 said:


> I always want to say "I don't know, maybe I should call Maury Povich and find out"QUOTE]
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *damona* 
i am so right there with you! i've been with my dh since i was 16. my kids are all his kids. people just seem to think that they have the right to ask if they all have the same daddy. irritates the heck outta me. it's like they are calling you a sl*t without actually saying the word. i mean, do people do this to older moms? i've never seen someone walk up to a late 30's mom and say, "oh, are all your kids by the same guy?" i'll bet that's a lot more rare.



Quote:


Originally Posted by *CheapPearls* 
once when my oldest was a baby I had someone ask if I knew who the father was.







I mean REALLY?! Who actually ASKS someone that?! She was cutting my hair so I wasn't about to turn around and smack her for being an idiot so I said "yeah my husband." That pretty much created a very awkward silence for the next 5ish minutes. She didn't get a tip. I believe I've said it before here but stupid people really shouldn't be allowed to talk.









OH MY GOSH I HEAR YA!!!! What I hate is being the grocery store and DH (who still looks about 15) is holding one of the kids and they ask the typical "is it yours?" and such but then they sometimes they make the most offensive statement "I hope you're parents are helping you." It sounds so odd but we have gotten it so often. Here's the thing- my dad ditched me in infancy and my mom is bipolar and a little slow. I have taken care of her almost my entire life. DH's parents are druggies. He has been fending for himself for quite some time. But they assume that our parents- being all old and wise- must be helping lil' ol' us. Ok we have been on our own for quite some time now. 22 and all 3 kids. Yup. We've been doing it AND taking care of my mom AND helping his parents with food. Give. Me. A. Break!









What really gets to me is this type of ageism is ok in our society.


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## mere2hayden (Jun 15, 2007)

Honestly, I don't feel young. lol Not lately anyhow. I'm 23 by the way. lol I got pregnant with DS when I was 18 and had him when I was 19. Best decision we made.







We have been TTC #2 for awhile now with no luck so far.

For the person who asked ages of our SO's: DH is 27. Four years older than I am.

I always looked very very young. When I was pregnant someone actually thought I was about 15 years old. lol But thankfully being as we are surrounded by the military community and were then as well, it isn't such a big deal. A lot of military wives get pregnant young so it isn't anything to gawk at like it seems to be in the civi world.


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## gracequinn (Jun 5, 2005)

i live an an extremely liberal town, there are single parent families, 2 mommies, 2 daddies, interracial adoption is huge BUT GOD FORBID YOU BE YOUNG!!
I know I'm a better mom than a lot of them-as weird as that is to say, I see them interact with their children and I see what they FEED them!!!

My favorite is when they tell me I just have too much time on my hands for doing crafts projects with the kids instead of letting them watching TV and I gently remind them I work full time and have more children then they do (including a toddler) and i'm apprenticing...my priorities are just different it's not the extra time i'm wading through

See I can pass judgment too, how ya like them apples!!

i'm really not a B word, I just get wicked pissed at that garbage!


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## StoriesInTheSoil (May 8, 2008)

I've been looking for a thread like this. I hope I fit here!
I turned 20 on October 1st, 2007. My LMP was October 26th so within a month and a half of turning 20, I was pregnant. It was unexpected but not unwelcome.
DP is 22, almost 23. We're very excited about our baby (due last of July/first of August) As a matter of fact, we've decided that we'd like to have three children in the next 6-7 years.
The other people I know that are youngish moms have completely different parenting styles than I agree with. None of them breastfeed, they all use disposable diapers exclusively, they don't discipline at ALL until they are at the end of their ropes and then just spank.
I'm feeling a bit lost and overwhelmed right now but I think it's mostly third trimester hormones. Plus the fact that we're busily moving into a new house!

I'm really glad to find other young, crunchy moms though. I wasn't sure any even existed!


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## ghostlykisses (Sep 27, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ilm2* 
I can't remember if i've posted somewhere in this thread before (this SN is new I forgot my old password).
I had my first at 17, now i'm 29 with a 12 yo. The stigma never goes away, even now that i'm about to turn 30 i'm still a 29 yo with a 12 yo. I still get a lot of the same treatment I got when I was 21 with 2 kids.

It's worse that i'm a 29 yo with 4 kids. I was done at 25 when most of my friends were just having their first.

Wow I am so glad to hear that I am not the only one who gets this! I was pregnant with my first when I was just barely 18. I had my first ds five days before my 19th birthday.

Now I am 31, have four children and my oldest is 12. I get the "you have a 12 year old" question all the time since I look pretty young still. I also always feel very out of place when I am in a room full of other parents of kids my ds's age. We went to a science fair and I was the youngest parent in the room and it was very obvious. It makes me feel weird. Women my age are often just starting having children and their oldest children are the ages of my youngest. It is just weird.


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## Navy_Mommy (Sep 29, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **mama moose** 
not sure if I count or not, but I figured if not you guys can just kick me out








I got pregnant with DD at 19 and just had her in August (age 20). People were fairly judgemental when I was pregnant, but now that shes here I don't get as many comments or looks (besides the ones i get for NIP and babywearing....and overall just being crunchy LOL)
The only thing that bugs me is that most moms I meet that are my age are not into AP parenting. Most are not even breastfeeding, and think I'm weird. So I'm sorta stuck with no friends, I'm too young to hang out with any AP mamas I meet (who are usually in their late 20s or 30s and live in nicer parts of town/other towns....I live in a somewhat poor area of town),or I have nothing in common with moms I meet who live near me and are my age....sigh.
anyways, hi fellow young mamas!
and again, if I'm over that age cusp of VERY young, feel free to let me know!









wow.I felt like I was reading my own story ...haha I too got pregnant at 19, I found out a week before our wedding about dd! My wedding ring did NOT fit for very long at all. I think that made it worse, people assumed I wasn't married, assumed I wasn't well adjusted. I'm not saying unwed mothers are unfit, but they were using the lack of wedding ring as ammunition. I found myself saying all the time, stores, movie theatres etc, 'gosh Jason, you are such a good husband' or 'I can't believe my wedding ring doesn't fit!'

I remember when I was younger, when I would walk around places with my brother (12 years younger) everyone assumed he was mine. And because they 'knew he was mine' they made things harder on me. It's such crap.

I think being a young mom is awsome. You are going to always be 'cool' and know whats going on. And be more intuned with your children. As long as you are living the life you want, forget everyone else! You were meant to be a young mommy, that's what the world wanted for you! So this is what you got! YAY YOUNG MOMMIES


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## 104356 (Mar 10, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mere2hayden* 

I always looked very very young. When I was pregnant someone actually thought I was about 15 years old.

yeah. i get as young as "12."

i was 21 when my son was born (24 now), but i still get the same sh*t and mostly from my family. like more than 50% of all pregnancies _aren't_ unplanned.

yeah, my husband is 10 years older than me. their grandaddies were that much older than their mamaws. and they probably had 10 kids together starting at age 15 or so around here (appalachia). healthily and hopefully happily, i might add.

heehee. rant.









i work in L&D and it happens all the time here. the absolute worst is when a young mother loses a child. the "well, it's probably for the best"s really get to me. they are still mothers.

on an end note, though. older pg women get it almost as much. like if there's 18 years between their last baby and this one.

ageism sucks.


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## chely7425 (Aug 8, 2007)

I don't think I am a truly young mama (got pregnant on my 22nd birthday, he is a month and a half now!) but everyone around here seems to think I am still 10 or something... I live in an area where most people don't even think about marriage and kids till they are in their late twenties!!!


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## 1littlebit (Jun 1, 2008)

i'm so glad to have found this thread! ill e 21 in a week and dp will be 24 in july. our ds is 4 mos. it is so hard to find young moms who share our parenting philosophy!

when i was pregnant i wanted to do everything as natural as possible and ended up w/ a c section since "dr. knew best" and i was just being stubborn. i struggled with getting breastfeeding started while being off my meds for adhd and was told so many times that its hard enough being a young single mom w/o breastfeeding so i stopped







then me and dp who is living with us and endlessly involved (yet unmarried so still apparenltly single?) realized that listening to people and their "its hard enough without (insert normal attachment parenting behavior) " was actually making our lives so much harder lol. so now against the endless advice of pretty much everyone with a uterus that i come into contact with we are a babywearing, co sleeping, partially cloth diapering, relactating, organic living family. lol

do you ever feel like people dont respect your parenting decisions b/c you are or were a young mom? sometimes people esp. family will say things like... cloth diapering? thats so pointless or why would you wear your baby thats why they have this that or w/e. my current favorite .. relactation? is that even possible? why would you do that, what if he refuses the bottle? hes already 4 months he doesnt even get any benefits from breast milk... and... you better get him out of your bed now or you going to regret it! sry this is so long.. lol i have been needing to vent and needing to talk to people who are or have been in the same situation... i dont know many young mamas and the ones a i do know.. well.. if there was an opposite to attachment parenting... it would be these mommies. so its nice to know there are young mommas who share some of the same parenting beliefs that i do


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## StoriesInTheSoil (May 8, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *1littlebit* 
do you ever feel like people dont respect your parenting decisions b/c you are or were a young mom? sometimes people esp. family will say things like... cloth diapering? thats so pointless or why would you wear your baby thats why they have this that or w/e. my current favorite .. relactation? is that even possible? why would you do that, what if he refuses the bottle? hes already 4 months he doesnt even get any benefits from breast milk... and... you better get him out of your bed now or you going to regret it! sry this is so long.. lol i have been needing to vent and needing to talk to people who are or have been in the same situation... i dont know many young mamas and the ones a i do know.. well.. if there was an opposite to attachment parenting... it would be these mommies. so its nice to know there are young mommas who share some of the same parenting beliefs that i do



















This is my experience so far and I'm still pregnant


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## 1littlebit (Jun 1, 2008)

it can be rough. but hang in there!! and dont fall into the 'they are older and expirienced and must know better' b/c chances are.. they dont. and they esp dont know what is best for you and your baby.. you do. people are weird when it comes to parenting advice its sort of like they cant comprehand that their way may not be the only or best way. ;/ just smile and nod a lot


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## gracequinn (Jun 5, 2005)

one thing i have been working on (among others) is ...are you ready...

JUST LET IT ROLL BABY!

I am constantly hearing from another mom (who is 39) "you have waay too much time on your hands" "i work full time and my husband does nothing" because I do crafts with my kids and bake with them and cook dinner every night. see she feeds them chef boyarde cold out of the can everynight, has never colored with her kids or made homemade valentines for a class of 22. after 3 years of listening to it i said "listen sista i work full time as well, your husband drops off and picks up at school, my kids are in three different places and i do the pick ups and drop off myself, everyday. you brag about how much you work out and that you jog every morning for an hour before you hit the gym. you go shopping by yourself on the weekend because you need the time to yourself, well, how about this, i do everything in my house too and *i have more kids than you do*. i just choose to spend my time differently than you. you take 2 hours to make your body look good, i spend it making my family healthy meals. our priorities are just different, i don't have more time than you i am just not a self absorbed as you."

translation: i'm a better mother than you are so shut the hell up PLEASE WOMAN!

i realised that although it felt good to get that off my chest the real reason she had been saying those things wasn't because she really thought i was wasting my time or had too much of it, it was because she knew she could be doing more with her children (they love being at my house) and it was her guilt and insecurity that drove her to degrade me. i'm sure there was an element of jealousy that pushed her to belittle me. she was defensive at her own thought that i was a better mom and i think that holds true in so many of "our" situations as young moms.

yes, i have more energy
yes, i do still look fantastic after three kids
yes, i homebirth
yes, i breastfeed
yes, my children do get bedtime stories
no, not because it's easier for me, because i try harder

stop making me feel i'm doing something wrong because you feel guilty you don't try hard enough.

our success doesn't have to be their failure but for some reason, it is.

take the good with the bad, it sounds like you're doing right by your baby, and when all is said and done, thats the only winning score.


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## 1littlebit (Jun 1, 2008)

i know what you mean... its hhard to not say something after awhile... but i do try and just smile and not.. better then telling my aunt or my grandmother that if they dont stop talking im going to explode


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## Krisis (May 29, 2008)

Hey, I hope I'm not too old to join here! I'm 21 and my son Toby is 5 months old. It's kind of been hard... none of my friends are even close to having babies so I kind of feel like the pariah in the group







And my family doesn't really get the whole AP thing.

Toby was born 6 weeks early via emergency C section and they took him to a NICU in a different hospital right after he was born, so I didn't even get to see him for 3 days. I tried pumping so I could breastfeed him but nothing worked. It was so freaking depressing and horrible when I finally gave up, but I felt like no one in my family understood - they all formula fed. It still bugs me that I couldn't bf but I feel like I should be over it by now.

Anyway I love wearing Toby! I made a sling a few weeks ago and it has been so fun to wear him all the time. I am only good at wearing him on my front but it's so comfy and feels so natural... my parents think I am insane but hey, it works for me









Any of you young mommas in Utah? Want to hang out?







We just moved to Salt Lake City last week and I'm a little bored, heh.


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## katbomumof3 (Sep 16, 2007)

welcome krisis, of course you're not too old to join








Don't beat yourself up over not bfing, i am on my third baby but this is my first successful bfing relationship. We do what we can with the knowledge and resources we have at the time. Not that i don't wish i had the knowledge i have now back when i had my dd's









What kind of sling did you make? My fave is a stretch pouch sling i made, and i recently made a mei tie, i looove it for longer outings







Congrats on your baby btw


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## chely7425 (Aug 8, 2007)

My gramma made me a mai tai... I heart it!!


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## ishereal (Sep 12, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chely7425* 
My gramma made me a mai tai... I heart it!!

I want one! wait umm I'm not 21 yet DANG


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## Sopho (Jun 12, 2008)

Hello!!
Well i'm almost 25, but hey i have 3 babes. I was 18 with Linda, 20 with Yesh and 23 with Bet. So well i'm a young mamma, and i'm adding that DH is 18 years older than myself but he looks great! He looks in his early thirties though and i look young as well, they think i'm 18, and i have to say it bothers me, and it has been this way all my life. People thought i was just a very tall 10 year old when i was really 16, talk to me about frustration.







:

Not to mention this:
"Older parents= better parents
Younger parents = irresponsible parents"

Ugh, thanks ex stepmom for that unknown fact, i'm amazed by your level of intelligence.
Sorry i'm just venting.

Well, my friends are all parents, we're all in the green and natural parenting as i get frustrated by those spanking, formula feeding, choice to circ parents, not to mention that they don't breasfeed. Well New Flash, that one of the main functions of the breasts









Don't all of you mammas hate the "You're ruinning your life" thing, not really by your family but by strangers.


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## chely7425 (Aug 8, 2007)

I get the "you're ruining your life" speech from my mom!! Not in those exact words but the undertones are there... she thinks by having kids young and staying at home I am being a complete idiot. I don't really care but it gets old...


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## Layna (Sep 22, 2006)

Wow, I didn't realize there was so many young Mama's on here!

I'm 21 & Have a 16 mo old little girl, Jessi.
We found out we were pregnant 4 days before my 19th birthday! (Planned, because I get asked alot.







)
I LOVE being a young mom. I think it's the greatest thing, and the right thing for us. I hate it when I get the "Oh-my-gosh, that's crazy! You don't even know who you are when you're that young, how could you be married or have a kid? Well, that's how *I* was anyway..."

I actually love it when I get wierd looks for CD, BW, BF etc. I think it's funny when people go "How do you know about all this stuff?" Like because I'm so young, how is it that I have a clue?

It's too bad some of you don't live around here! I am lucky though, I have a close friend up here who is the same age as me, and is now expecting her first. She is also a natural parenting person.


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## lrpurro (Jun 2, 2006)

Hello Young Mamas,

Just popping in to say congratulations on your babies!

I'm not a "young mama" anymore, but I was one in 1982! My son was born in '82 when I was 16 years old. Most people thought I was completely incapable of making intelligent decisions related to my pregnancy. When I chose to have an unmedicated birth, breastfeed, co-sleep, etc., my "weirdness" was blamed on my age. You know, I was only making such "fringe" decisions because I didn't know anything and would certainly be screaming for drugs and sending someone out to fetch formula...but it didn't happen.

My daughter was born in 2007 when I was 41 years old. Guess what? People still told me that I would "come to my senses" and ask for that epidural and not bother with nursing when it was so easy to use formula. Even when they knew what decisions I had made with my son. Most people still think my decisions are "weird," only now they can't blame it on youth!

Enjoy your babies and stick to your convictions, Mama's!

Lisa


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## Krisis (May 29, 2008)

Sorry, I am kind of lazy and don't want to read through all the pages of this to find out your answers









How do you guys deal with the criticism? I know my grandma means well, but... ahh! It's like, I am planning to CD sometime pretty soon here (just trying to figure it all out, CDing is CONFUSING!!) but I know as soon as my grandma finds out she'll throw a fit and i'll get to hear snide comments every time I see her. I love my grandma, she's like my mom, and I don't want to hurt her feelings by telling her off, but she makes me feel bad about some of my parenting decisions. I know they are MY decisions to make, but ... I don't know. Ahh!!

I am really sensitive and shy so it makes it doubly hard to handle the criticisms... what do you guys do?

And, mommies who have been through the teething, how do you handle the screaming? Toby has screamed nonstop all week and last night I totally lost it. If DH had not been around I probably would have seriously hurt the poor baby. What do you do when you just can't take it anymore?


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## UberMama (Feb 27, 2007)

Delurking.. DH and I TTC'd and got pregnant with our twins when I was 18, had them months after I turned 19. DD was born just after I turned 21 and I just had my surroson a month before I turned 25.

Krisis - I had to learn how to let the criticism roll off of my back. I got a lot of flack from family and strangers for having children so young. They all *ass*umed that our children were "mistakes" as they called it, or unplanned, of course. Of course it's NONE of their business that our babies were planned but at first I made it a point to tell them so they'd hush up about it.

You really gotta let it roll off of your back. I know it's easier said than done when it comes to family (esp well-meaning Grandma's!) though.

People have also *ass*umed that I BF'd/pumped because we were poor, that we CD'd because we were poor, etc. etc. But you know what? MANY people get that, no matter the age. But I think some of us get it a bit more with our age, because they think young people cannot afford what they could later on in life. Maybe true for some, but I know DH and I were not doing too bad at all financially when we planned our kiddos.


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## acannon (Nov 21, 2007)

WRT the teething, have you tried giving him teething drops? They help a lot. They numb the baby's gums. If it gets really bad, which it sounded like it was, you can give him some Baby Tylenol. It does get pretty tough sometimes. The thing that really bothers me that I almost can't handle is when I'm really tired and Jamie just wants to crawl around and not sleep. Luckily, this only happens about once a month or so. You just have to hold out and try to stay patient and optimistic. I know that's probably not very helpful, but it's the only thing that I've found to work.

With the criticism, I would just tell the person that you're doing what works for your family. Sometimes moms, especially moms who have gone through the whole thing already, get a bit defensive when they find out that a friend or relative is nursing, had a natural birth, etc., because they didn't do that and they might feel guilty for not doing so, so they start the criticism. One way you can really tell if someone is criticising you for this reason is if they say, "Well, I gave my kids formula/had an epidural/whatever and they turned out just fine." I might explain to your grandma, if I were you, the reasons why I'm using cloth diapers. Just try to be understanding with her and, after awhile, she'll probably get over this stuff.


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## Onemagicmummy (Jul 27, 2007)

i was 21 when i had DS1 i got looked at like i was nuts. i was a year older than my mum was when she had me. people thought i was nuts sto CD as i used terry squares n plastic pants as i didnt know anythiung else.
i tried to BF and got to 12 weeks when due to bad advice adn no support i switched to formula. i was told "your milks not good enough for him" and i believed them
i had DD1 when i was 23, DS2 when i was 24 and DD2 when i was 26. i still get looks and told im nuts but tis cos i have 4 kids and CD/BF/Co-sleep not cos im young. well im not sure i am classed as a "young mum" any more.

im 27 now and we are planning Number 5 for sometime 2009/2010

id say jsut ignore the comments, back in "their" day if you were not married by 25 you were doomed to life as a old spinster

congrats toall the new mummys

Kiz


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## angelpie545 (Feb 23, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Krisis* 
Sorry, I am kind of lazy and don't want to read through all the pages of this to find out your answers









How do you guys deal with the criticism? I know my grandma means well, but... ahh! It's like, I am planning to CD sometime pretty soon here (just trying to figure it all out, CDing is CONFUSING!!) but I know as soon as my grandma finds out she'll throw a fit and i'll get to hear snide comments every time I see her. I love my grandma, she's like my mom, and I don't want to hurt her feelings by telling her off, but she makes me feel bad about some of my parenting decisions. I know they are MY decisions to make, but ... I don't know. Ahh!!

I am really sensitive and shy so it makes it doubly hard to handle the criticisms... what do you guys do?

And, mommies who have been through the teething, how do you handle the screaming? Toby has screamed nonstop all week and last night I totally lost it. If DH had not been around I probably would have seriously hurt the poor baby. What do you do when you just can't take it anymore?

I find the best way to handle criticism is simply to tell the person that it is YOUR child, and YOU and YOU alone (or you and your partner..sorry







) will be making the decisions regarding his/her care, and his/her advice is not wanted or welcome. I know that sucks being firm with family, but trust me people will eventually learn to respect it if you stick to your guns. The key is to really educate yourself and give them facts, and use a firm, no-nonsense tone.


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## meganbarr (Jun 20, 2008)

Hi everyone,

I hope Im not too old to post on here, I am 22 and my dd is 6 mo. I married DH when I was 19 and I cant tell you how many people asked me if I was pregnant and when I told them no, they acted like I was making the biggest mistake of my life! When I got pregnant at 21 with DD and my DH was still in school-everyone asked if we "planned" it. Yes we did "plan" her and they were even more shocked that she was concieved with Clomid after 1 1/2 years ttc! A lot of people think that we are irresponsible, but DH has a good job and we have a stable loving family. I love being a young mom because I can still remember what being a kid is like and I also feel like I am more open minded to different parenting styles. We get tons of crap from our families about AP like "get that baby out of your bed!" "put her down or she'll be spoiled" "you hold her too much" "when are you going to wean" "you are feeding her AGAIN" the list goes on!!!! Our crunchiness makes things even worse "do you think you are too good for McDonalds?" "quit hugging trees and throw that plastic bottle in the trash" "no one in that last 50 years uses cloth diapers" and on and on and on!!!

Another thing that really bugs me is old ladies!!! Not all of them of course but a lot of them. They will just walk right up to you and tell you how to make your baby sleep through the night or worse they will ask you if you have a "good baby" . One woman even walked up and asked if my 3 mo slept through the night. When I said she gets up a few times to nurse, she told me that was just silly, I needed to give her as much rice cereal as she would take then put her in her crib to CIO. This woman was a COMPLETE stranger!!!

Sorry for ranting, I just get really frustrated at times. I am glad to find a place where there are other young AP moms. I dont feel like such a weirdo anymore!!!


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## Krisis (May 29, 2008)

Oh old ladies are the worst. And I hate that "good baby" thing. When I'm out with my family my mom or grandma always jump in and say "no, he's not a good baby," and I'm like EXCUSE ME?

Grawr.


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## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

Popping in to say hey to everyone!

One of the things about society that bugs me the most is that baby=ruined life. WHAT???!!!!







: It's worse when you're young. They act as if you have just died or something. I didn't start LIVING until my Lily was growing inside me thankyouverymuch.









I do struggle with something though. I feel like I always need to be strong and independent or else people will think I have failed just like they said I would. Dumb, I know


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## CheapPearls (Aug 7, 2007)

I just smile and nod when I get bad advice from strangers. It's not like I'll ever see these people again so who cares? Crazy old ladies.


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## aamna (Mar 20, 2007)

hi everyone,
i had my DS when I was 22 (will be 24 in September).. which I don't think is *really* young, but to some I am







At times, I wish I had waited a little longer.. but most of the time I love being a young mom. It's what I've wanted. He is truly a blessing.


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## Krisis (May 29, 2008)

Hey Maggie, me too. About the failure thing.


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## sunflowerkelli (Sep 18, 2007)

23 here, DS is almost 3, DD is 16 mos.

My fave is when people check out my ring finger, and especially when they think I don't notice. Sometimes if they look very judgemental I'll hold out my hand towards their face so they can get a better look.

Not that it matters to ME if someone is married, but sheesh, people sure are bothered by a (young and GASP potentially unmarried)woman having babies.


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## 1littlebit (Jun 1, 2008)

hey mamas... just catching up







ugh i meet another young mama the other day she is 22 and has a 7 month old.. she keeps insisting on givind me adive b/c she helped raise her neices so she knows. she has criticized me wearing my ds, cloth diapering, co sleeping, no CIO and most of all my relactation attempts and pumping. telling me a whole bunch of crazy crap about letting her newborn cry it out and only holding when necessary.. she is a good friend of dp (thank god he doesnt agree with her at all) and mostly i keep my mouth shut.. but sometimes i just want to scream that she is a terrible mother and should give her poor neglected daughter to someone who loves her. ugh. she smoked through her pregnancy and says bf isnt good unless the mother eats well and takes vitamins.. otherwise formula is better. oh and i almost kicked her out of my house for this. she told me we should go get ds circed right now b/c it is disgusting and unsanitary and he will hate me when he grows up and has to get circed then b/c every uncirced guy she knows cant wait to be circed .. i would bet my right arm that one is total crap.. but ugh i just sometimes i can barely keep my temper. she says she lets her dd cry so she can clean.. and now she doesnt cry (or smile or make eye contact) and tells me how much im going to regret everything especially wearing ds b/c he'll always want to be held. to that i finally told her that i love holding my son and i do it as much as i can which is why instead of letting him cry i wear him while i clean. and that i dont consider holding him and loving him a burden or a problem to be resolved but a privildege that brings me joy everyday. she goes yeah well see how long that lasts your really going to regret it when he still wants to be held all the time as a toddler. then what are you going to do. i looked at her and said.. uh same thing i am now. she said nothing.. which was good... cuz i might have lost it. i love knowing there are young mamas with common sense out there this thread makes me feel less alone


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## 1littlebit (Jun 1, 2008)

also i feel like we should get our own little sub forum under parenting







that way when we needed support from people in our same situation we wouldnt have to go digging around in the find your tribe section. plus i think as young mamas we encounter trials and tribulations that other mamas may not ya know?


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## CheapPearls (Aug 7, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *1littlebit* 
hey mamas... just catching up







ugh i meet another young mama the other day she is 22 and has a 7 month old...

That poor baby.


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## sarabethsmommy (Jun 24, 2008)

Hello. My name is Marga I had my DD when i was 20, i am now 22. Being a young mom is hard i've seen alot of rough stuff happen. Fortunetly I met my DH when DD was 6 weeks old. We got married and he has taken her as his own. Being a young mom i get alot of unwanted advice, most of the time i just smile and say thank you, but when the advice gets pushy or it get degrading i usually say in my sweetest voice "thank you so much for the unwanted advice!" Usually throws anyone off track.
I'd love to meet other young moms. I believe that young moms may be young in age, but we are mentally old enough to be great parents! I love being a young mom because i can also grow up with my children!








:







:


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## Tygrrkttn (Jul 10, 2005)

Hello young mamas,

I'm not subbing cause I SO no longer qualify for the title. But, I did once. I had my first son when I was 18, my second at 20. Then I had my daughter 12 yrs later and am expecting my third son in July.

I am so proud to be able to claim all of you as members of my very extended AP family. I had No idea how to parent the way I do now when I was 18 and 20. Not only did I have no idea these kinds of ideas were out there I don't know if I would have accepted them then.

Here's to a new generation of AP mother's, and age difference or no, if you're ever in Albq, look me up!

TK


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## neostudded (Sep 5, 2007)

Hey I am a young mother, I was 16 when I fell pregnant 17 when I gave birth to my son.I am now 18 and my son is 11 months old.


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## Rylins mama (Aug 22, 2007)

I am 20, ill be 21 in a month!! Got married a month after my 18th birthday, had our daughter at 19 and she is now 15 months and now I am due with baby #2 in November!


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## CheapPearls (Aug 7, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Rylins mama* 
I am 20, ill be 21 in a month!! Got married a month after my 18th birthday, had our daughter at 19 and she is now 15 months and now I am due with baby #2 in November!

Congrats!


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## 1littlebit (Jun 1, 2008)

just bumping.. and seeing how everyone is doing. neostudded i read your post in the vax forum... stand your ground.. you are doing what is best for your little guy and she needs to repsect that whether or not she agrees with it... i vax but i support your decision not to.. and i dont even know you..shes your mother.. she should definately support you... moms can be hard mine is convinced that i am doing this 'sling organic cloth diaper crap' to prove to people im a good mom. i was like uh mom.. im not doing it to prove im a good mom.. im doing it b/c i am a good mom . she said but you dont have to do all that stuff (im also relactating which she thinks is really creepy) and im very overprotective about ds with other people and needing to be with me and needing to sleep etc. she said thats what older moms do im a young mom im supposed to be naive and oblivious. wtf?!


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## Sarah_Mom2Many (Jul 18, 2008)

Hi, I'm brand new to mothering so please forgive me for jumping right in. My name is Sarah, I'm 22 and pregnant with #4







: I adore my children and wouldn't have it any other way. I have a 3 and a half year old-Brody, 2 year old-Mason, Almost 10 month old-Orin and I'm 26 weeks along with baby Aidan. Yup I've been blessed with 4 beautiful bouncing baby boys! I'm completely surrounded. I've been with the same man since I was 16, we were both virgins when we got together now almost 6 years later here we are with four kids! I've read about a lot of you on this thread and you really are a shining example of how terrific young moms can be! I hope all your dreams come true!









BTW I too can't stand the unwanted "advice" all the time and all the dirty looks. We happen to no be on any assisstance and never have been (Not that there is anything wrong with it, it just seems like if you are young they automatically assume you are).


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## CheapPearls (Aug 7, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sarah_Mom2Many* 
Yup I've been blessed with 4 beautiful bouncing baby boys! I'm completely surrounded.

I'm with ya with being out numbered. Although my limit was 3.


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## angelpie545 (Feb 23, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sarah_Mom2Many* 
Hi, I'm brand new to mothering so please forgive me for jumping right in. My name is Sarah, I'm 22 and pregnant with #4







: I adore my children and wouldn't have it any other way. I have a 3 and a half year old-Brody, 2 year old-Mason, Almost 10 month old-Orin and I'm 26 weeks along with baby Aidan. Yup I've been blessed with 4 beautiful bouncing baby boys! I'm completely surrounded. I've been with the same man since I was 16, we were both virgins when we got together now almost 6 years later here we are with four kids! I've read about a lot of you on this thread and you really are a shining example of how terrific young moms can be! I hope all your dreams come true!









BTW I too can't stand the unwanted "advice" all the time and all the dirty looks. We happen to no be on any assisstance and never have been (Not that there is anything wrong with it, it just seems like if you are young they automatically assume you are).

How wonderful for you! It sounds like you have an amazing family!


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## damona (Mar 27, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sarah_Mom2Many* 
Yup I've been blessed with 4 beautiful bouncing baby boys! I'm completely surrounded.


yep, right there with you, i'm completely surrounded by testosterone here.. even the cats are male! welcome to the boards!


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## Amandamanda (Sep 29, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *magstphil* 
i am 21 and on my 3rd.

me too!
(okay i realize you posted this in '06, but me too now!)
i turned 22 exactly 6 weeks after having my dd.

I'm also lds =)


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## ThisLove (Jul 5, 2008)

Do I qualify as a really young momma?







I turn 23 on Friday.


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## neostudded (Sep 5, 2007)

Yes, 23 is young!








By the way, I would love to have an actual young parents forum on mothering, not just this thread. I find with really long threads it is easy to lose track of all the posts.

1littlebit, thanks for your support.
My mother also try's to claim I do what I do to "prove" I am a good mother.


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## neostudded (Sep 5, 2007)

Yes, 23 is young!








By the way, I would love to have an actual young parents forum on mothering, not just this thread. I find with really long threads it is easy to lose track of all the posts.

1littlebit, thanks for your support.
My mother also try's to claim I do what I do to "prove" I am a good mother.









how is the breastfeeding going?


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## SimplyRochelle (Feb 21, 2007)

Hey ladies. I'm going to go ahead and join in here. After 14 months of ttc, I'm finally pregnant! I just turned 21 and DH is 22. I work as a waitress right now and I'm already dreading some of the old-fashioned southern fried comments I'm going to get from people who think I'm too young or pregnant by suprise.

Gotta go find something to ease my tummy. Looking forward to getting to know you ladies.


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## guest9921 (Nov 3, 2005)

bump.


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## neostudded (Sep 5, 2007)

How is everyone?


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## crazyeight (Mar 29, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SimplyRochelle* 
Hey ladies. I'm going to go ahead and join in here. After 14 months of ttc, I'm finally pregnant! I just turned 21 and DH is 22. I work as a waitress right now and I'm already dreading some of the old-fashioned southern fried comments I'm going to get from people who think I'm too young or pregnant by suprise.

Gotta go find something to ease my tummy. Looking forward to getting to know you ladies.

i was a pg waitress too!







really meant i didn' have to exercise at all after carting around trays and plates for 6-8 hours. i never even had swollen feet!







i was 18/19 at the time as well. couldn't even tell i was pg until the 6th month b/c of the apron (full not half). most of the comments i had were just congrats. i worked in tulsa OK so i was in the bible belt. best thing was that i was the only pg person waitressing and one other girl had a baby about halfay through mine so i got to see her baby. she worked as a cook though in the back. everyone let me get free food or carried HUGE trays for me (when i reached my 8th month and it was to hard to hold a tray out that far). I hope you have wonderful commentsand luck! i thought it would be great to wear a pin saying something about "tips are for harvard" or something


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *magstphil* 
i was wondering if there were any other *really* young mommas out there. i am 21 and on my 3rd. we started at 17 (18 when she was born). i'd love to get to know some younger moms or moms who have been through it to discuss in particular the stigma society places on us being so young.









Sorry to crash your group but dude, Mags, you are 21?!?!?!?!?!?!








:

You are an old soul, my friend.


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## CheapPearls (Aug 7, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *neostudded* 
How is everyone?

I feel like I've been hit by a train and I probably look like it too.







Haven't slept good in a couple of days.

On a happy note my 9 month old took his first steps last night!







:

How are you?


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## Amandamanda (Sep 29, 2007)

*yawn*

how is everyone doing today?

oh- congrats rochelle!


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## neostudded (Sep 5, 2007)

I am alright, just finding out information about whooping cough, my son caught it from a vaccine at four months of age. He is 12 months now but is sick and I noticed he has a whooping cough like cough and I am trying to find out what to do. I don't want the health care practitioner to misdiagnose him with something else.

Oh wow cheap pearls, that's exciting! my son was an early walker to (eight months) they grow up to soon!
Dont worry, my son is sick and I look like I have been hit by a train to, just spent the last few days carrying and feeding him constantly.


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## katbomumof3 (Sep 16, 2007)

Hey Neostudded, I just wanted to say I think you rock for standing up for what you believe. I know, that sounds lame eh? Like, oh, you're so young, blah blah








But seriously, i was 18 when i had my first, and single, and i had no idea. I wasn't anywhere near where you already are. I wish i'd had internet and mothering then, i just did what i was told, some of it against what i felt in my heart. I quit bfing b/c i was told to, and only cd for 6 mos, etc. So rock on Mama!
Oh and I read elsewhere that your mama nursed you til 5? That rocks! My mama only nursed me 3 weeks, then quit b/c doc told her to. she woulda never nursed that long though anyhow, b/c she worked, and just doesnt think you should. We hope to though!
Thats all, I'll quit being a lameo now


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## neostudded (Sep 5, 2007)

katbomumof3, aw







Thanks so much for your post.









I think I just have a lot of support (online) and that makes all of the difference. I had the internet though my pregnancy and the internet has been a wonderful resource for me.

Though I still had to stand up for myself, I learned that people tend to try and push you around if you are a young mother. They try to push you around more if you do something that is not mainstream, people get shocked and don't understand why you would do something differently to what most people do.

It is incredibly difficult being a mother single mother, I tend not to dwell on it but it is, it is hard finding other people your age with babies. (a lot of young mother loose all their friends when they fall pregnant). Then there is a stigma attached to being a young mother, being a single mother, breastfeeding...The list goes on.


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## katbomumof3 (Sep 16, 2007)

A lot of my friends didn't stand by me when i was pregs, and then i was single, it really sucked. Even now, i'm 26, and i still get the looks, like wth would you do that? bf, cd, etc etc. Its annoying. Plus i look the total hippy all the time







I think i'm losing friends irl all the time b/c they think i'm totally weird. Oh well, i'm doing best by my fam







:


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## CheapPearls (Aug 7, 2007)

Yeah, "friends" kind of just faded away when I got pregnant with my oldest at 17. It sucked but a couple did stick around. It really shows who your friends are.

In my mom's group, I'm the youngest by 6 years and I'm the only one with more then one child and I have to 2 oldest.... I'm glad that we connected and age doesn't matter at all. I've always been worried about that, joining a playgroup and being shunning because I'm young (22 yrs). I don't really care what people think but having friends can be a real sanity saver. Nice open minded non judgmental friends.







:


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## bmcneal (Nov 12, 2006)

I guess I'll join here. I was 18 when I got pregnant with DD, 19 when she was born. I'm 22 and pregnant with #2. My mom is *still* like "Why are you ruining your life?!? How are you going to take care of them?!?! Etc." DH and I have been married almost 4 years. It's not like we don't know what happens.







:


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## ishereal (Sep 12, 2007)

Hello all, I am still here I turned 21 August 8th!!


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## sarabethsmommy (Jun 24, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bmcneal* 
I guess I'll join here. I was 18 when I got pregnant with DD, 19 when she was born. I'm 22 and pregnant with #2. My mom is *still* like "Why are you ruining your life?!? How are you going to take care of them?!?! Etc." DH and I have been married almost 4 years. It's not like we don't know what happens.







:

I know its irritating! I'm 22 with one DD had her at 20. I've been married almost a year now and we are thinking of another one, my mother is also the same way asking why we would want to "do that to ourselves". She waited 10 years between DC! I don't want to do that, personally. We have have to remind ourselves that we are strong and no one can tell us how to live our lives. If you are ready then you are ready and no one can judge us rightfully. Be strong mama!


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## amrijane128 (Jan 6, 2007)

Hi everyone! Can I join?! I had my DD 3 days after my 16th birthday. She's now a crazy toddler refusing to play with daddy. Lol..

I'm all for a seperate forum for young parents. It's about the only category not covered!


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## ShOrTy Y (Aug 27, 2008)

I got pregnant at 17 and had my ds at 18. Now he just turn 4 and is getting ready to start pre-k next week. I luv to see how exited he is. Anyways I thank God everybody were really supportive when they found out, but i still remember my father calling me crying, sad because I'm still he's baby girl, he's 1st born but also happy because he was going to be a grand daddy for the 1st time and cuz my bf was there 4 me.


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## ~Robin (Dec 25, 2007)

probaly to old to reply...excuse the typing errors nak

I am a 30 YIKES year old mom to 5 kiddos starting with a 12 year old dd to a 5 mth old ds. I know exactly what you all are going through..
People sometimes suck but hey all I usually say back is MY KIDS ROCK. They listen they behave and they are smart. I am glad that I was blessed with the opportunity to enjoy them.


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## damona (Mar 27, 2008)

my DS that i got pregnant with at 17 has _just started 4th grade_. i may still be a "young mama" in the grand scheme of things, but that makes me feel old!


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## rubyeta (Jan 11, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *damona* 
my DS that i got pregnant with at 17 has _just started 4th grade_. i may still be a "young mama" in the grand scheme of things, but that makes me feel old!

Mine just started 7th! I guess i'm not a young momma anymore! He is taller than me too. Being a young momma was such a great way to be! You go ladies


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## heather84 (Jul 4, 2008)

Hi. I'm Heather. I am 23 and mom to 2 boys and 1 girl who is an angel (chromosome abnormalities.) I got pregnant with my first son when I was 19.


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## CTH3989 (Sep 28, 2006)

Hi! My name is Chelci, I'm 19 and married with 2 children. Going by my LMP I got pregnant the day before my 17th birthday (DH then BF was 16) with DS. Then I got pregnant with DD at 18.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Hi there! In the interest of limiting FYT to subjects not hosted elsewhere on the board, we have moved your tribe here. You're still a tribe, which means you're still support-only. If you have any questions about the move, please do not discuss it on the boards. Rather, contact an administrator or start a thread in Questions and Suggestions. Thanks, and happy posting!


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## beansricerevolt (Jun 29, 2005)

Another "young mama once".
My oldest just turned 10 this summer! Im 27.

Aside from DD we also have DS who just turned 3. Big gap!

I did the single mom thing for a few years and then met my DH.


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## doratheexplorer (Apr 15, 2008)

Hi to all the young mamas! I'm 23 had my ds when I was 20, I quit college to focus on him and have been a SAHM since he was born. His daddy and I got married this year and we are expecting another babs in March. I love being a young mom it's hard work but I think you've more energy when you're young and can relate to your LO's better. I've lost touch with most of my old friends, still talk to one or two but I feel like I'm a such a different place in my life that I get on better with other moms even though they're much older than me.

Can't believe some of you have 3+ kids! I'm in awe







I'm worried how I'll manage with 2!


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## 1littlebit (Jun 1, 2008)

hey!! i had ds at 20 (hes 7 mos now) and stoped going to college to be a sahm as well! i would love to finish eventually... and my friends are trying to understand i think 2 totally get it and the another 3 get why i want to stay home with him and take time off but hope i go back soon and the last one thinks daycare asap for all children is a great plan (shes not so into babies lol) i wouldnt do it any other way i love being home with him and i feel lucky then i am able to. college will always be there.. this time with him wont kwim?


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## maliceinwonderland (Apr 17, 2005)

Former young mom, just popping in to say hi.









I had dd when I was 16..finished school, worked until last year, and now I'm a SAHM.


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## CheapPearls (Aug 7, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *doratheexplorer* 
Can't believe some of you have 3+ kids! I'm in awe







I'm worried how I'll manage with 2!

Meh. After you have 2, the rest are easy. Especially if they are close in age. My 3 are under 5 years old so I do a lot of things in groups. Assembly line diapers and potty breaks, snacks, drinks and lunches, getting dressed, etc. Multi task parenting.









Congrats on your pregnancy!


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## benjamins mommy (Aug 24, 2008)

Wow, I'm so surprised that there are so many young mamas on this forum, not long ago I posted a young mama board and got NOTHING! haha anyhow, thanks to an older mama friend of mine, I found this! I'm 21 and have a baby boy that'll be 6 months on the 11th of this month. None of the moms my age that I know, parent like I do either.


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## CheapPearls (Aug 7, 2007)

Yeah I'm 22 and I'm the youngest in my play group by at least 6 years. I'm glad to have found AP moms like me but sometimes I feel a bit left out because I'm young and didn't have the type of life experiences they did. But then, I also have years more motherhood experience then them. It evens out.

It's great there's so many like minded young moms here.







: It seems young and AP are not that common in the outside world.


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## Mountaingirl79 (Jul 12, 2008)

I still feel like a young mama, even though I'm almost 29 now. I had Eli when I was 20. Hard to believe that was almost 9 years ago. Yikes!
So I can relate to being a young mom. This is the first year at the kids school I actually feel like an older parent. LOL


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## amynbebes (Aug 28, 2008)

Hello!
Not a young mama now,31,







but definitely was. I had my daughter a month before my 18th bday and my oldest son 2months after I turned 20. With a less than helpful father of my children it was a true struggle for several years. My parents were quite less than thrilled to find out that I was pregnant 5 months after graduating highschool. Besides them, who absolutely adore their grandchildren by the way, the only really hurtful comment that I got was a lady that I worked with. When I was pregnant w/my first she said something along the lines of "awww, you two get to grow up together". Whether she meant it condescendingly or not I'll never know but it certainly felt that way. I grew up the moment that I found out I was going to be responsible for another human.
Anyway, after that long intro just wanted to stop in a say hi!


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