# Losing it! How to handle a defiant 8 month old



## Jazmyn (Sep 17, 2005)

First of all, I'm happy to have found a site dedicated to gentle discipline and good parenting. I've been perusing the site and, well, I need advice now! So, here I am!

Our lovely ds is certainly testing my patience. Everytime he is put on his change table for a diaper change he arches his back, cries hysterically, turns his body - anything but allow the experience to pass quickly. I fight with him for diaper changes, putting him in his chair for meal times, any time he can't get his way. I feel that it's my fault for letting this happen. And, I also feel like he's the only kid with issues such as these. Is this "normal" defiant behavior or should I be worried. Granted, he's only eight months old but, frankly, I don't know what I'm doing when it comes to discipline!









What do you do? And, have you ever been too frustrated to even look at him/her? Or am I just plain crazy







:


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## shelbean91 (May 11, 2002)

I personally don't think 'defiant' and '8 month old' belong in the same sentence. I know there are many here who will be able to give specific examples and suggestions for you, but at 8 mo old, your baby is still a baby and wants to explore his surroundings. Imagine if someone came to you, forced you to stop what you were doing midstream and then forced you to do something you had no interest in and wanted nothing to do with. That's similar to what your ds may be feeling. He's got no way to tell you that, though.

What we do for challenging diaper changes- do them as fast as possible. If he doesn't want to eat, don't force him. Talk to him as though he understands, b/c he can understand much more than he can let you know. Talk him through mealtimes and diaper changes.

Good luck.


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## De-lovely (Jan 8, 2005)

Definetly,IMO, no such thing as a defiant 8 month.....maybe diaper changes annoy him and he has no other means to communicate his displeasure other than to arch his back. I can absolutey understand your frustration but I think the best advice was given previous-do them as quickly as possible and he will eventually outgrow this stage.....eventually.







Just try to be patient.....


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## Jazmyn (Sep 17, 2005)

Thanks for the input thus far...I knew that "defiant" wasn't the right word to use but that's how it feels! I guess I just need to know that this not "abnormal" or "cause for great concern"...hey, I'm a new mom! It's all a learning experience for me!


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## johub (Feb 19, 2005)

I agree with the PP's an 8 month old Cannot be defiant.
Think of it this way. In order to be defiant a child must be perfectly capable of following instruction and understanding of why and still refusing to.
An 8 month old fails on all accounts.
It isnt that your baby doesnt want to obey your requests. It is that he is too young to understand that such requests should be obeyed. All he knows is that being confined is completely unacceptable to him right now.
He doesnt know that your need to change his diaper is greater than his need for freedom to explore. HE doesnt know that if he sits in a poopy diaper he will get a rash.
He doesnt even really know that if he doesnt sit and eat he will be unhappy and hungry in 30 minutes.
Everythign is here and now for him.
HIs body is telling him right now, at all times "Go GO GO" "Move, explore, learn, crawl(or try to crawl) touch"
This is pretty normal for this age. My kids wouldnt sit still for anything. NOt even to nurse or sleep.
It is frustrating certainly. But it is not somethign that can be prevented or cured. It just is something that will pass.
joline


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## Messac888 (Jan 24, 2005)

I must admit, "defiant 8 month old" definitely caught my eye. I agree with the pp that those phrases don't really seem to belong together. That said, I'm glad you came here to ask about it!







My dd is 8 1/2 months old and does the same thing. My ds did the same thing at this age as well. I can only guess that my next kid will also do the same thing around this age. I would have to say it's pretty normal. First thing I do is stop using the changing table (it's still out, but only for storing all the cloth diapers and diaper covers). I change my dd on the floor now. I get the diaper set up and ready to go, get the wipes out and ready to use, etc. When everything's ready I grab her and lay her down, give her something to keep her attention for about 10 seconds, get started on the change, and let her whine for the remaining 20 seconds. On the days where she's not staying still at all, I put my leg over her torso like a bridge







(don't worry, I don't actually lay it on her) and it seems to be enough to make her stay on her back long enough for me to do a mediocre job of changing her diaper. As soon as the diaper is on, I let her loose.


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## De-lovely (Jan 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jazmyn*
Thanks for the input thus far...I knew that "defiant" wasn't the right word to use but that's how it feels! I guess I just need to know that this not "abnormal" or "cause for great concern"...hey, I'm a new mom! It's all a learning experience for me!










No worries mama-we understand how frustrating it can be to have a wiggler.....just think how frustrated he feels about all the things he cannot say or do........


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## charmarty (Jan 27, 2002)

maybe he's trying ot tell you somehting???? perhaps that he is ready to try something different that will help him with his new ability to stand up.

At 8 months is when I said bye bye to changing diapers laying down, and started letting my girls stand up while doing it instead. ( they did lay down at first to change the poopy pnes to ensure I got them clean enough) but as soon as I was done with that, off they went! and I would acomodate them where ever they wanted to stand.

also. for eating....let him eat him the floor? or your lap . you can't expect a baby to comform to your standards , you have te bend to his right now. ANd IMO there is no reason to dicipline a baby.


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## charmarty (Jan 27, 2002)

PS where in canada are you?


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## earthmama369 (Jul 29, 2005)

Been there. (My daughter is 9.5 months old.) It can be frustrating, but he really isn't being defiant. He just doesn't see the world the way you do yet, and his priorities aren't the same as yours. Arching, screaming, flailing . . . those are all methods of communication. Disturbing to us mamas, but quite effective.









My daughter's become a big fan of the "standing diaper change." When she can't lie still on her changing pad, I give her the opportunity to hold onto a chair or table and stand up. It isn't the easiest position to change a diaper in, but it works and it's less frustrating for both of us!


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## Isis (Aug 2, 2004)

Get something really cool to entertain ds with that you use ONLY for diaper changes- sometimes you have to switch off every few days. I had a small flashlight that ds thought was pretty neat at that age- usually it will keep them entertained for the few short moments


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## HunnyBunnyMummy (Apr 23, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jazmyn*
What do you do? And, have you ever been too frustrated to even look at him/her? Or am I just plain crazy







:

I've found that if I change my own view of the situation, then these sorts of feelings melt away. I try to remind myself that my 9 month old is just doing what is pre-programmed inside of her: to explore, communicate when she is upset, and try to figure out her world. These are all things I actually want to encourage, rather than oppress (even when it means I'm really inconvenienced).

It's great that you found MDC! I came her when dd was a few months old, and it revolutionized my parenting. You'll be so glad you had an early start on gentle discipline, trust me! If you are looking for books that encapsulate GD, I recommend Unconditional Parenting, How to Raise an Emotionally Intelligent Child (stupid title, great book), and Playful Parenting.

Best of luck, and hope you stick around. MDC rocks!


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## ZeldasMom (Sep 25, 2004)

I think coping with a squirmy babe at diaper change time is a very common problem!









My approach was to make changes fast and fun. Try being really sillly/goofy. If this doesn't come naturally to you, it might take some practice! I actually got a Wiggles video and got some ideas about being goofy by watching them! :LOL Singing lively songs was also good with my DS.

I would also let my hair hang in DS's face and let him play wiith it.And I let him hold the diaper changing supplies (diaper, wipes spray, wipes) which he enjoyed. He really likes things that smell good, so he particularly liked holding the lavender scented spray bottle.

I also think it's not too early to start dialoguing with your child. Though it will probably be awhile to see benefits. I always explained it was time for a diaper change and made the change ASL sign http://commtechlab.msu.edu/sites/aslweb/browser.htm before/during changes. I also used words to let him know what was happening, to describe his feelings, and to talk about what we were going to do next.

HTH!


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## swtladyfare (Jul 30, 2005)

my 7 mo old (almost 8) cried when i tried to change her diaper alot last week. and did the same things your describing. what we do is hold her very close before we lay her down and gently lower her to the changing pad chest-to-chest right until she lays down while speaking to her softly. if we keep our backs bent while we change her, she's OK. If we stand up stright she starts flipping out again...the going theory in our house is that she's afraid we'll leave her. I can't imagin why she'd think that but staying physically very close stopped the squirming for her


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## IncaMama (Jun 23, 2004)

LOL oh SO very normal. the wiggly back arching (we call it the alligator roll at our house), the screaming in the high chair, the works. yup, juuuust about 8 months is when our DS started doing those things. they're just trying new things, using their new "skills" in all the ways they can think of. it'll get better...eventually. LOL but i agree that even just knowing you're not alone and your child isn't turning into some hell spawn will help your sanity a lot.







i also think you can try other diaper changing positions. we stopped changing on the table and moved to the floor on a towel (preferably a carpeted floor in case he decides to do the other signature move - the head butt. that way if he rolled away (those little boogers are strong, aren't they??) i wouldn't have to worry about him flailing right off the table. anyway, just try new things and it'll work out!!


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## HunnyBunnyMummy (Apr 23, 2005)

One more tip to add. I really hate canned musical/flashing light toys, but we do use one of them at the changing table. And it does seem to keep dd's attention just long enough for me to finish changing her.


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## AmandaBL (Aug 3, 2004)

My new favorite way to get through diaper changes is to lay in the bed & nurse while my husband changed the dipe. It sounds silly, but it works & everyone's happy, and we can even put on diaper balm - an event we thought was history due to the kicking, screaming & flipping. If dad's not home, I just go as fast as I can







We ALL get frustrated. Welcome!!!


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## avivaelona (Jun 24, 2005)

Everyone else gave you great advice just wanted to chime in and let you know that my son is the same age and its the same scene here, he doesn't want to lie down he wants to MOVE and he will use everything in his power to tell me that! We just play a lot of games at diaper change time. One that might work for you on getting him to lie down is that I pretend I'm putting him down and then SWOOP him up, doing it a few times and then finally he gets put down, it always makes him giggle and since he doesn't know when I'm really going to put him down, I don't get back arching and he's not being forced to lie down. Also when I'm feeling like that "oh he's frustrating me so much I can't deal" feeling, I force myself to kiss him and make silly faces at him, that makes him giggle and it sort of breaks that cycle of him fussing and me being mad about it. It usually ends up making me giggle too.

Good luck Momma


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## ShadowMom (Jun 25, 2004)

I second the notion to give him a toy... preferably one he's not used to getting (an old TV remote? Some keys? An old cell phone that will actually turn on? These are all things my DS LOVED, still loves actually). That REALLY helped me at that age.

If anyone is around when you change them, don't shy away from recruiting them! They can stand there and entertain him while you change. That REALLY helps.

Also - if you just don't feel up to it, whip off his old dipe (assuming it's not poopy) while he's playing, and wait until a more amenable time to change him.

I hate to tell you this, but it's probably gonna get worse before it gets better...

Think of it this way. In order to overcome all of the obstacles they face (knowing absolutely nothing in a complicated world, being so little, being so limited physically, etc.), babies have to have an overwhelming drive to explore, learn, do, and imitate. Otherwise they'd give up. It's their nature to insist on doing those things.

It really helped me to try to look at the world through my baby's eyes... their lives are so frustrating yet exciting in a lot of ways.

OH... one last thing... we made up a song we always sing while changing him. Mine is called the "Dry Your Hunkus" song, and I repeat that phrase over and over to a melody I made up.







Sounds silly but it might work for your babe, especially if you always sing that particular song.

Good luck mama, and hope this helps!







Welcome to MDC and congrats on your wonderful baby!


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## AntoninBeGonin (Jun 24, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jazmyn*
Thanks for the input thus far...I knew that "defiant" wasn't the right word to use but that's how it feels! I guess I just need to know that this not "abnormal" or "cause for great concern"...hey, I'm a new mom! It's all a learning experience for me!









In my experience, both with my son (12 months) and as a daycare teacher I think fighting diaper changes is rule for most babies.









I read somewhere that it's common for toddlers to struggle because being forced on your back is not safe--evolutionarily speaking. I did see some toddlers at the daycare struggle like they were being tortured.

As for my son, I take off his diaper and let him crawl around naked for a random length of time. It makes him happy and when I decide it's time for a diaper I call his name and he comes right to me. Bliss, right? LOL

Hope this gives you something to look forward to!

~Nay


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## AntoninBeGonin (Jun 24, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KristiMetz*
OH... one last thing... we made up a song we always sing while changing him. Mine is called the "Dry Your Hunkus" song, and I repeat that phrase over and over to a melody I made up.







Sounds silly but it might work for your babe, especially if you always sing that particular song.

Good luck mama, and hope this helps!







Welcome to MDC and congrats on your wonderful baby!


We have a song, too!!

"Antonin needs a diaper change, a diaper change today.
And when he gets his diapers changed he says 'Hey, Hey, Hey
Gimme Gimme diaper change, a diaper change today
Gimme Gimme diaper change, a diaper change today
Gimme gimme diaper change, a diaper change today'
Today! Today! Antonin's gonna get a change today!
Antonin's gonna get a change TODAY!"

He loves it









~Nay


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## mely (Feb 16, 2005)

I'm a master of the quick change - Before I corral the princess - I make sure I have everything ready. I then run and grab her - sometimes she will do the back arch - in which case I blow on her belly (raspberries)- makes her laugh and gives me an extra couple of seconds to get the diaper changed.

The belly blow also works with getting her into the car seat - sometimes she just doesn't want to sit down (I remember reading an exerpt from some parenting *expert* who reccomended a hand slap or something - and I just dont get it - the quick little belly blow makes her laugh and gets her into the car seat in a good mood)

The one downside - she goes up to all of us and loves to lift our shirts and blow on our bellies now.... OK it's not that bad... but it does start to tickle when she does it over and over


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## Starflower (Sep 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jazmyn*
And, have you ever been too frustrated to even look at him/her? Or am I just plain crazy







:

Welcome







&







to all the other posters' advice on how to make squirmy dipe changes easier. We had to use a toy that flashed lights for awhile (I hated it, but it was only for dipe changes) then we just stopped using the changing table. We use the couch or the floor or standing up or whatever.

Anyway, YES, I know how it is to feel so







frustrated you don't even want to look at your kid. You're not crazy. Just put him in a safe place and step across the room for a few minutes to take a few deep breaths and calm down. He'll be easier to deal with when you are calm since babies really do take cues from our emotions. And you'll have a chance to regain your perspective.

There's a great list of GD books at the top of this forum - here's the link: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=115037

Learn all you can about baby and early child development. It really helps put a lot of those "annoying behaviors" into perspective. (Is it reasonable for me to expect a particluar behavior from a child of 8 months, of 18 months, of 3 years, etc.?)

My DD is an active, smart and industrious* two-year old now who is really into exploring boundaries with me. From another perspecive, this would be seen as defiance, but it really helps to know what is normal behavior for any particular developmental stage. When she "defies" me, I understand that she is testing me to see where I really stand on any particular issue. (Getting in the car seat, not throwing food on the floor, time to leave the park, etc.) (Obviously my examples show a different dev. stage than your DS but I can't remember what's typical at 8 mos.)

*The name Amelie means "industrious" and she really does live up to her name.


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## quidditchmom (Jun 18, 2005)

When they're that young, mom's usually really sleep deprived and it's quite easy to start getting paranoind and think that the baby's doing all this stuff on purpose.

When I started to get frustrated with mine, I'd just take some time to cuddle. It always made me feel better









I got the "have a special toy for changing times" advice too, which worked wonderfully, except I've had to used different toys each time. She arches her back because you're interrupting her by changing her. You'd probably have a fit too if you were going about your business one day and someone came and immobilized you for some reason you didn't understand. And although she's not able to understand exactly why it is that she needs to lay there and be changed, she is old enough to learn what certain things mean. It might help to start telling her a minute or two before you change her that you are going to do it. The same with putting her in her car seat or high chair.

My kids have all gone through phases where they didn't want to be stuck in a high chair to eat, and I used to have all carpets (even in the bathroom....who's idea was that??). I put a splat mat down on the floor and let them eat on that if they wanted instead. They could come and go as they pleased but the food had to stay on it.

Good luck


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## mamabella (Dec 16, 2004)

I am new to this board too with a *spirited* 8 month old ds and just posted something similar here:

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=342770

and in the Diapering section about Penis Pulling (many battles over this one until I started following the advice of other mamas and relaxing my standards a bit).

In response to the many helpful hints from other mamas I childproofed the house a little more, and started picking my battles a bit more and it has made a world of difference in my home. I used to try (without realizing it







: ) to feed him when he wasn't in the mood, keep him away from everything dirty, and try to keep him perfetly still during diaper changes. Here are some suggestions that have made a world of difference for us in a few days:

For mealtimes: I have now started leaving his sippy cup of water on the floor where he can get to it because I realized that most times he is thirsty not hungry. I also stopped the strict 3x's a day mealtimes and instead offer food when he is acting bored and not thirsty - He will actually eat more when my milk supply is lower - like at the end of the day - so I keep this in mind with earlier mealtimes and don't push it. And if I put him in his chair and he just wants to play with the spoon and not eat I don't force it and I let him play with it.

For diaper changes: I had a big issue with trying to stop him from yanking hard on his penis. He would also squirm like crazy - now I just wipe him and let him go at it without a diaper (on the floor or on the changing table) for a few minutes (he actually went from screaming during changes to giggling) and then putting on a diaper is much easier.

For getting into dirty things - My ds is FASCINATED with the dog bowl - I keep it out of his reach for most of the day, but right before bath time, I let him play with the water and explore it a bit - this has tempered his curiosity (he is not so obsessed with it now) and we are both much happier.

Hope that helps a bit!


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## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

Great advice from everyone, I hope it helps you. Can I add one more?

Have you tried changing him on your lap? I did this with my boys at this age and it really helped. Get everything ready - wipe out of pack, nappy already unfolded, trousers already off - lie him across you lap with the "business end" on your dominant side. Whip off the old nappy, clean up a bit, lift up legs with left hand get a clean one underneath with right hand then do it up whilst tickling/restraining(!) with left elbow. Then slide him down onto his feet and watch him go. You can do this sitting on the floor or on the sofa, his back will be arched in this position so he'll be in his element and if he leansback far enough will see the room upside down - cue some silly song.

For more icky nappies try doing the washing standing in the bathtub. He can stand up and hold onto the edge and you can get it all sorted without the mess going too far.

Often trying the most crazy thing instead of the thing you *think* you should be doing works best. Experiment and see what suits you both, and in no time it will be old hat and you'll need a new one!

8 months old is a wild time, want to swap for a 12 year old?


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## sophmama (Sep 11, 2004)

In addition to all the other great advice I'd just like to add that you might find it helpful to look at it in a different light such as - look how much effort he is making to communicate to you. If you encourage that and show him that you understand that he is upset - I think you are laying the groundwork for a deeper connected relationship. If it's a battle of the wills that characterizes your relationship that may not be so pleasant down the road. Maybe treating him as a respected individual that has to do what Mommy says at times when there is no other option, like poopy diaper changes - but can have his way at times too when it's not so important - maybe he'll learn to respect you for your fairness and the sense of justice he will experience in the long run. Does that make sense? I feel that my dd (now 22 mos) often listens to me because she knows I am reasonable and don't make unnecessary requests and if I say it will be just a second it is always just a second, etc.

BTW - I still use entertaining toys at diaper change time. I often try to turn torturous times into games to get dd through them. Playfulness helps a lot in these time to diffuse any battles of the will.


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## moma justice (Aug 16, 2003)

WELCOME!!!! i don't think you will be sorry that you came here to learn about mothering, i am very proud of th emother i am becoming and i have learned a lot here!

that said, i wanted to add one note of caution, DO NOT LET YOUR BABIES PLAY WITH KEYS!!!!!!!!!

they have VERY HIGH levels of lead in them, infact i have been told that mothers should wash their hands after handling keys before they touch or feed their babes....

keys are one of the TOP sources of lead posioning for middle class babies.

now, my dd went thru the same stage from about 8 months on...it took me 2-3 more months of taht kind of diaper change hell before i learned about EC (elmination communication) and the diaper free baby concept...my dd was really trying to tell me she HATES diapers....after reading about it here (there is an EC forum under the diaper threads) my dd has been out of diapers night and day for a long time now and our relationship is so one that is built on mutal respect and communication b/c of this.

if you (or anyone) is interested in hearing more about diaper free, pm i am happy to talk.

a lot of moms NEVER guess that not using dipes IS an option and that is what your baby is trying to tell you

and my baby pees and poops in an infant sized potty, btw


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## Diane B (Mar 15, 2004)

Great suggestions...here's one more. At about that age, we started telling our daughter in advance what was coming next, rather than just scooping her up and plopping her on the changing table/in the highchair/in the car seat, etc. This really reduced her resistance - understandably, when you think about it! - and is really good practice for when they are toddlers.


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## ShadowMom (Jun 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *moma justice*
that said, i wanted to add one note of caution, DO NOT LET YOUR BABIES PLAY WITH KEYS!!!!!!!!!

they have VERY HIGH levels of lead in them, infact i have been told that mothers should wash their hands after handling keys before they touch or feed their babes....

keys are one of the TOP sources of lead posioning for middle class babies.

I was just wondering if you have any sources for this information?

I went browsing on the Internet and couldn't find anything. I looked at the top causes of lead poisoning for children and it didn't say anything about keys...

I'd be interested in finding out more.

Thanks,


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## moondiapers (Apr 14, 2002)

I wouldn't say it's a top cause, but deffenitely a no-no. Keys have lots of lead in them because they have to be a bit soft to be cut easily into the correct shape for your lock. Not a safe child's toy at all.

-Heather


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## sassykat (Sep 7, 2005)

It's funny...my friend and I have discussed that babies arrive on earth understanding what we say to them so much more than we realize, but are not able to express their knowledge! Actually, we were kind of comparing babies to aliens, but it sounds weird when I actually type that, LOL!!

When my baby wiggled and squirmed for about six weeks at the same age (8 mos.),I put him back ON the changing table, and he stopped--we had stopped using the changing table after 6 months. I guess it was "new" again, and he was able to look at the stuffed lions and pictures on the window sill while we changed him. He's eleven months now, and patiently waits for us to change him.

It's a phase that will pass quickly!







sassykat







:


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## mysweetfiona (Apr 4, 2005)

Jingles are fun. You can make them up, practice. Keep a couple and use them with a dance. My dd is most cooperative if she gets to do the "Nekki Dance"......goes w/ tune from Pinnochio when he was on stage..."I....wear no pants and do the nekki dance...the nekki dance...the nekki dance, then repeat all again finishing off with....With no Paaaaants...!" It's a hit, she's been wiggling to it since she could hold up her head.

The boys' jingle was different. DD name didn't rhyme, so I had to make up the one above for her. Boys': Who is the peepee man, the peepee man, the peepee man? Brandon is the peepee man! He pees in his pants cause that's where he can....he's the peepee man, the peepee man... How goofy! But was so fun. They had their own nekki dance song too.

Great advice already given! I agree with them. MDC has a way of making you be the very best and rising to every challenge with creativity, confidence, and support! Welcome, and congrats on your baby!

Lori


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## aran (Feb 9, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KristiMetz*
I was just wondering if you have any sources for this information?

I went browsing on the Internet and couldn't find anything. I looked at the top causes of lead poisoning for children and it didn't say anything about keys...

I'd be interested in finding out more.

Thanks,

Here are some links I found quickly (maybe not the best, but some info here):

http://www.aap-ca.com/CA_Pediatrician_Fall_2002x3.htm
http://www.calprop65.com/keys.html
http://co.douglas.ne.us/dept/health/...sHoliday03.pdf
http://parentcenter.babycenter.com/r...toz/66456.html


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## Kira's mom (Nov 30, 2004)

Dd went through similar stages.What we did: Talk to dc"I'm going to change your diaper now baby. It will only take a minute. You will feel soo much better with dry pants.After we change your diaper we can ___________." It must be hard to express yourself at 8 months.We always try to explain what we're doing and have since birth. Now dd explains everything to us!!


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## Fuamami (Mar 16, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sophmama*
In addition to all the other great advice I'd just like to add that you might find it helpful to look at it in a different light such as - look how much effort he is making to communicate to you. If you encourage that and show him that you understand that he is upset - I think you are laying the groundwork for a deeper connected relationship. If it's a battle of the wills that characterizes your relationship that may not be so pleasant down the road.

This is such great advice. I was just thinking about a problem I'd just solved with my dd, and how I always need to remember that when things start becoming adversarial, it's time to reevaluate. There are SO many "workarounds" to almost any problem that comes up with my children, and as long as I can remember that I need not, and cannot, make any other person do what I want, life stays pretty easy.


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## MisfitMama (Sep 4, 2003)

Hey,

I haven't had a chance to read every post, but 2 ideas I have offhand are late start elimination communication (scroll way down to starting after 6 months):
http://www.naturalfamilyonline.com/5...y-training.htm - we did this (starting at 3 months) because our ds hated having his diaper changed *with a passion*, and. . .

Also whenever we did change his diaper we'd sing a special song, which at age 2.4 he now still loves and calls "his diaper song" even though he hasn't needed any diapers for several months.

Oh, and in case nobody said it, around this age we quit bothering with the high chair - for a couple months or more he just sat on our laps while he ate. Then he got interested in the high chair again and now he loves it.

Good Luck!

MisfitMama


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## DevaMajka (Jul 4, 2005)

Great post, Joline









Quote:


Originally Posted by *HunnyBunnyMummy*
I've found that if I change my own view of the situation, then these sorts of feelings melt away. I try to remind myself that my 9 month old is just doing what is pre-programmed inside of her: to explore, communicate when she is upset, and try to figure out her world. These are all things I actually want to encourage, rather than oppress (even when it means I'm really inconvenienced).

ITA with what she said!

Lots of great ideas here. What worked for us was for me to let ds have a say in when to get changed (i'm pretty sure we did this as early as 8-9 mos). I'd sit by the changing pad (on the floor) and hold a diaper and tell him it was time to get a clean dry diaper on. Then I'd pretty much wait 5-10 minutes, reminding him a few times. He'd usually come over and changing was sooo much easier then!
And, I asked him to help "will you lift your bottom up?" "Put your leg in the pants. Now the other leg" and I think that helped too. He got to feel like he was part of the process, not that it was being "done" to him. kwim? He started helping pretty early.
We have a tigger doll and a pooh doll that still "talk to him" when he's a little unhappy about getting changed and I can't or don't want to wait. It ends the unhappiness right away (usually I just bounce then on his chest, and make them kiss him). Sometimes even when he comes over on his own, he'll point to them and want me to use them. lol So here's another mommy agreeing with the special toys.


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## chinaKat (Aug 6, 2005)

Good advice here.

One more tip -- this works for us at diaper changes:

I keep a photograph (unframed) available at the changing table (in addition to a few toys) and ask DD "can you hold this for mommy?"

Most times she's so busy looking at it and going "da da! da da!" we are done before she knows it.

I swap out the photograph (I just print them on regular paper from the computer) whenever the one we are using gets all crumpled up or she seems to get bored. Pics of parents, the cats, grandparents, favorite animals like ducks... etc.

Hope this helps!!!

chinaKat


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