# almost 3 yr old crying in pain when penis erect



## hummingbear (Apr 17, 2003)

This happens a lot when he is in his carseat, but also happens when he is wearing pants that are stiffer such as denim. I have been thinking that it might be because of the pressure of his enlarged penis against his foreskin. Although reading one of the other threads I wonder about bubble baths. We use a gentle bubble bath but sometimes he wants a lot of it.

Does anyone else experience this with their son?

I know that retracting or even trying to is not ok. Should I worry about the time a friend started to pull back on the skin, but I stopped her quickly. How much pressure does it take to cause some damage? A friend's son plays with himself so much that by age 2 his foreskin was fully retractable. Where does this fit in the big picture?

Ann

PS And what can I tell my husband who thinks that my son is merely trying to manipulate us?


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## Sarah (Nov 20, 2001)

Well- I'd cut it out with the bubble baths, that could be the cause.

As for trying to manipulate you... for what? Does he say- "My penis hurts I want a piece of candy?" I think that if he says his penis hurts, it hurts.

He is out of diapers right? That's why you said the different clothing makes a difference? Would he wear those extra soft thicker training underpants- that might help keep the softer diaperey feeling.

There is a chance that he is just not used to erections- and that the "different" feeling that he feels is something that he does not have a name for, and pain is the closest sensation he can come up with... it also could be that there is something that is really hurting him... for example- if he has a solitary shred of adhesion still attached- maybe that gets pulled uncomfortably- ouch!

What I would do if this was my son was to explain to him that by pulling outward on his foreskin he should be able to relieve any of the painful backwards pulling from the erection... "make more room for your penis when it grows" What? Adjust yourself. Try that and see if it works, if it does relieve the pain. Do that for a year or two... if there is still some pain from erection then there may be a adhesion in there that needs to be monitored.

As for your friend's son - many boys are retractable by the time they are two- don't dwell on the fact that he "played wih himself" thats got nothing to do with it.

What big picture?

Love Sarah


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## Frankly Speaking (May 24, 2002)

I think Sarah is on the right track. I strongly suspect your son is in the midst of the separation process. He's at the right age.

The process is not an even process. Some areas will let go before others and when he has an erection, it will pull at those areas that are still attached. The pain he is experiencing, if this is the case, is a short lived thing. Just call it growing pains! In a couple of weeks or months, it will cease as the remaining adhesions release. He is also not in great pain but more of a discomfort and only during the erection. Give him the opportunity to manipulate it. Most boys push, pull and twist it like it is rubber. This is pre-programed into them to aid the seperation process.

I know this is a source of concern for you and you want your son to be as comfortable as possible. Just be assured that this is normal and will pass soon. Your son is not in great pain.

Frank


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## mosschops (Nov 21, 2003)

Ann, just this morning my just three-year-old complained that his 'willy' hurt, and when I had a look it was erect. Coincidently, he was wearing his jeans for the first time in ages. He then said that his 'trousers' hurt. So i think that it was the stiff denims against stiff penis!!

His foreskin did look a little red, but it often does when he's trapped it or been playing naked and banged it... oh my goodness, he's going to hate me when he gets older if he ever finds out I posted on the internet about his foreskin!!

Steph x


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## hummingbear (Apr 17, 2003)

Thank you all for your replies.

Is he out of diapers? Yes, and has been for 9 months so lack of thick stuff isn't a new thing. Erections are not new either; I remember them from his infancy. For now I think I will steer away from pants of a heavy material.

Baths. We do take bubble baths with california baby bubble bath, but not frequently. I will cut down on the bubble baths.

I am more concerned that my son does not play with himself a lot than that others do. I have never given him the message to keep his hands off. When he is erect he has learned to lay his penis up against his belly to help it feel better but recently this has not been helping as much as it used to. I will tell him about pulling the skin out to give his penis more room. As far as I can see he has a long way to go before retracting. The opening is still quite tiny. Though I am reminded that it may be many years still before he does retract.

Anything new welcome.

Ann


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## hummingbear (Apr 17, 2003)

Just a side note: my friend's son fully retracted shortly after his 2nd birthday and I do think the amount of pulling and tugging speeded up the process. My son used to play with himself more but nowhere near as constant as this other boy. I'm not saying that it is a bad thing!:LOL

Ann


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