# Why homebirth? I had a wonderful hospital birth!



## GAjenn (Jan 28, 2009)

I do not understand all of the articles and posts about home birthing. I do not feel as though my birthing experience was slighted emotionally or in any other way. Doctors and nurses are people who love delivering babies so much that they made the commitment to become educated and make it their career. The hospital staff was VERY supportive of breastfeeding during our stay and after (following up with the on staff lactation consultant). I was not offered formula, but received a bag with baby stuff, a homemade knit cap, breast pads, and several baby books. I feel a deep connection with the women who helped me bring my baby into the world.


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## lanamommyphd07 (Feb 14, 2007)

Keep in mind that MDC is a place that natural-minded parents can come and receive support and information about the options available to them. Postings on homebirthing are quite atypical anywhere else, thus anyone interested in homebirth can get a ton of information here....It's good that your hospital experience was wonderful. Mine was as well, but I would likely choose a homebirth in the future. Why? Because I understand the process now and feel quite confident (as did all the women of history before birthing became medicalized) that I can do it either by myself or with a nice midwife companion. Most mommas who choose a homebirth are not coming from a terrible hospital experience--most are simply choosing that path from the beginning. Of those who have a bad taste for hospitals, isn't it great that there is all this support for them here?


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## Contrariety (Jul 16, 2007)

How about: "Why hospital birth? I had a wonderful home birth!"

Two sides of the same coin, OP.


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## Juvysen (Apr 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GAjenn* 
I do not understand all of the articles and posts about home birthing. I do not feel as though my birthing experience was slighted emotionally or in any other way. Doctors and nurses are people who love delivering babies so much that they made the commitment to become educated and make it their career. The hospital staff was VERY supportive of breastfeeding during our stay and after (following up with the on staff lactation consultant). I was not offered formula, but received a bag with baby stuff, a homemade knit cap, breast pads, and several baby books. I feel a deep connection with the women who helped me bring my baby into the world.

Welcome to MDC!

I had a good experience in the hospital the first time, too, but the homebirth was just *so* much better. Imagine if after all the work that is labor, you get to sleep in your own bed! I didn't sleep well in the 2 days at the hospital at all and was completely exhausted by the time I got home. Also, our home birth provided a very smooth transition from 1 child to 2.

You also need to consider that many hospitals and doctors are not as wonderful as yours were. Many women have extremely traumatic experiences, and many doctors and nurses push meds and unnecessary procedures (like EFM, AROM, and epidurals... ), which can actually increase the chances of needing a cesarean. Read the book "Pushed" if you're curious about what I mean.


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## sdejje (Nov 26, 2008)

I had four hospital births ranging from pretty good to wonderful - nothing was pushed on me and I was able to delivery completely naturally.

BUT...I always got there at the last possible minute, so they didn't really have time to bother me with anything, and after my babies were born I just wanted to be HOME. I only stayed in the hospital 12 hrs after each one, but they were a l-o-n-g 12 hours.

Then, when #5 came along, my water broke in my midwives office, and they "escorted" me to the hospital. It was miserable. I had no idea midwives would push so hard for interventions. I ended up with an IV, constant monitoring, lots of pointless vag. exams, and the dreaded pitocin. Now, I know that technically you can refuse these things, and I did at first, but when you're in labor you're really in no position to argue. The whole experience was just yucky. I didn't realize how lucky I was with my first four.

I am not willing to put myself and especially *my baby* through that again, so I will be having a home birth this time, and I can't believe how incredibly relaxed and at peace I feel about it.


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## Sk8ermaiden (Feb 13, 2008)

In Houston I have over a 80% chance of an epistiotomy and 40% chance of having a c-section and the number one indicator of c/s is whether I have insurance. The hospitals will not let me refuse EFM, will not let me refuse an IV, and will not let me labor/birth in the shower/tub. The closest hospital which can even be slightly referred to as baby/mother friendly is over an hour away. I don't know a single person who has given birth in a hospital and was not induced or given Pit - generally both.

I know that I can legally fight all of these things, but I can also have my baby in my own home with a provider who has my philosophy of birth and not have to get in a fight with every person who enters my room, while still maintaining the same mortality rate and a lower morbidity rate (only 10% c/s and 1% epi) as in a hospital. It's a no brainer to me.

I am glad you loved your birth experience though! The best outcome we could ever have in this country is for moms to have positive births no matter where they are birthing. There are many moms on here who are for homebirth because of their horrible, awful, sometimes criminal experiences during their hospital births. This is my first and I choose not to take that risk.


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## nummies (Jun 9, 2007)

Wander over to the birth trauma forum.

I am so happy for you that you were so lucky and had a wonderful hospital birth! good for you!

Others, like myself, aren't so lucky. We leave feeling broken, depressed, and traumatized. Let's not make light of my (or any other mamas here) situation.


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## GAjenn (Jan 28, 2009)

I love this forum and its support of everything, especially BF and EC. I just don’t understand home birthing and I guess am looking for more information that might make me feel different????? I read a lot of negative comments about hospitals and doctors. I would also be scared that something might go wrong that could be treated at a hospital. This is not something I am opinionated about, just looking for other Mom’s input. There are so many things that never even crossed my mind until I had a baby, now it is a whole new world.


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## layla983 (Oct 8, 2007)

I'm not againist OB's or hospital births at all. Honestly, I'd like to have a hospital birth. I've heard of wonderful hospital OB's or midwives & wonderful hospitals. I'm jealous of people who have that option really.

I don't live in a very birth friendly state. High c-section rates, many hospitals don't believe in vbacs, doctors believe pregnancy should be done & over with by 40 weeks at the latest. After 37 weeks, every appointment for me was a fight to avoid an induction. They were annoyed I wouldn't allow myself to be induced with no medical reason. The hospital was bad, the nurses fussed at me when I was pushing because I was making noise & they were trying to talk about where they grew up. There were tons of reasons I was very unhappy with not only my birth but my prenatal care. Overall, no one though I should know anything. They tried to avoid answering sinple questions. Wanted me to consent to things without even telling me what it was. Not woman friendly at all in my eyes.

If I had a better doctor or hospital, I'd loved to have gone there. But the few places we have locally were all the same. The thought of doing that again makes my skin crawl. A homebirth is actually not my first choice, my first choice would be a woman friendly ob/hospital midwife & a good hospital. But I don't have that option anywhere around me. So because of that, I moved onto my 2nd option & am planning a homebirth, where I'm able to be involved in my care & birth.


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## Viola (Feb 1, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GAjenn* 
I do not understand all of the articles and posts about home birthing. I do not feel as though my birthing experience was slighted emotionally or in any other way.

People birth at home for a variety of reasons, because they feel there is value in giving birth there. Common reasons include wishing to avoid the modern obstetrical practices that may be counterproductive to natural labor, and be more about legal or managed care standards; avoiding the environment of a hospital where certain kinds of infections are more common; wanting the ability to make some of the decisions about the care the mother and baby receive; it may be that homebirth is what they can afford. I think people can have good experiences in both places, but your experience doesn't negate a home birthing mother's, and a home birthing mother's experience doesn't negate yours.


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## Juvysen (Apr 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GAjenn* 
I love this forum and its support of everything, especially BF and EC. I just don't understand home birthing and I guess am looking for more information that might make me feel different????? I read a lot of negative comments about hospitals and doctors. I would also be scared that something might go wrong that could be treated at a hospital. This is not something I am opinionated about, just looking for other Mom's input. There are so many things that never even crossed my mind until I had a baby, now it is a whole new world.

Seriously, read "pushed". Really. Here's her blog... http://pushedbirth.com/ The book really goes through all they "why"s and "why not"s of both hospital and homebirth.


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## xelakann (Jul 30, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GAjenn* 
I do not understand all of the articles and posts about home birthing. I do not feel as though my birthing experience was slighted emotionally or in any other way. Doctors and nurses are people who love delivering babies so much that they made the commitment to become educated and make it their career. The hospital staff was VERY supportive of breastfeeding during our stay and after (following up with the on staff lactation consultant). I was not offered formula, but received a bag with baby stuff, a homemade knit cap, breast pads, and several baby books. I feel a deep connection with the women who helped me bring my baby into the world.

I love reading positive hospital birth stories. Thank you for sharing yours. I feel like "good" birthing hospitals are regional. In Portland I know several women who had great birthing experiences in the hospital. And I know two OB's who use and recommend hypnobirthing methods and who have both had med-free births themselves.

A lot women here feel like hospitals are for sick people and not a place for births. For me I just love the care I get from a midwife and I loved birthing in the water. And I know with my last birth I would have had a c-section if I had been in the hospital. Even though I had a safe wonderful birth, I pushed for longer than the hospital would have allowed it.

Homebirths are in a big minority and a lot of women come here for reassurance and acceptance about their choice. But I can see how things can get one-sided and like I said before it is helpful for me to hear the positive hospital birth stories too.


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## Sk8ermaiden (Feb 13, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GAjenn* 
I love this forum and its support of everything, especially BF and EC. I just don't understand home birthing and I guess am looking for more information that might make me feel different????? I read a lot of negative comments about hospitals and doctors. *I would also be scared that something might go wrong that could be treated at a hospital.* This is not something I am opinionated about, just looking for other Mom's input. There are so many things that never even crossed my mind until I had a baby, now it is a whole new world.

If this were true, more babies would die during homebirths than hospital births, but that's not the case. The countries with the best mother/baby outcomes in the world use midwives (and usually) homebirths for all low-risk births. The US is at the bottom of the list for mother/baby outcomes, below countries like Slovakia and Somalia. It is really hard to get your head around the whole issue until you start reading. I recommend Pushed and Born in the USA. Bottom line is that with a very few shining exceptions, the maternity care system in this country blows.

This is a good recent article on it. This one is pretty good too.


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## MegBoz (Jul 8, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Viola* 
People birth at home for a variety of reasons, because they feel there is value in giving birth there. Common reasons include wishing to avoid the modern obstetrical practices that may be counterproductive to natural labor, and be more about legal or managed care standards; avoiding the environment of a hospital where certain kinds of infections are more common; wanting the ability to make some of the decisions about the care the mother and baby receive;









:

Honestly, OP, if you can't understand why someone would want a HB, you need to read "Pushed" by Jennifer Block, "Born in the USA" by Dr. Marsden Wagner, and see the movie "The Business of Being Born." After exposure to these, I can't understand how someone can NOT understand the desire for HB.

Now... That doesn't mean *you* should want one for yourself. Women shoudl birth where they feel comfortable. You had a great hospital experience and you would want to go there again. Great! That's fabulous! But you are in the minority in having a birth that was natural (no CS, episiotomy, pitocin, epidural, etc.) - I believe if you add together the rate of births that are CS (31%), + induced + augmented with pitocin, you get like 60-80% or something. (I forget, but I believe it was over 50% that are augmented or induced.)

As for me, I had a good, all-natural hospital birth as well. But I still want to HB for #2 (whenver that happens.) Because it's MY HOUSE, my territory! I feel more in control, I'm not a "patient" & subject to someone else's rules.

For example, the hospital had a rule taht you couldn't walk around outside yoru room carrying your baby.







You had to wheel him in a bassinette. They don't want the liability risk of you dropping your own baby. Gimme a break!

Women need to feel comfortable emotionally to birth. There is evidence that NOT feeling at ease emotionally will literally prevent the cervix from opening or cause it to close back up (read "Ina Mays Guide to Childbirth" for great info on that.) I could never feel as comfortable in a hospital as in my own house. (I accidentally did all my laboring at home - left the house for hospital after I felt the urge to push!) So I never labored in a hospital, only arrived & pushed. I can't fathom the intensity of transition anywhere but the comfort & security of my own house.


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## jecombs (Mar 6, 2008)

I had a pretty good hospital birth with my DD, but I'm still considering homebirth for my next one. Like one of the pps, I got no rest after DD was born because all the hospital people kept coming into my room and wanting to do stuff with DD, when I wanted to rest. I came home exhausted.

Also, during my labor, my MW was constantly whispering to my DH that I would probably need a c/s because my baby was "too big." Not real supportive! I ended up with a wonderful vaginal, natural delivery and an 8# 6oz baby girl. I also felt like my labor stalled out when I got to the hospital. I was 8cm when I arrived and had gone from nothing to 8cm in about 3hrs. It took me another 3 hrs in transition to get all the way to 10cm.

So, I'm not looking at homebirth because I think hospitals are evil. I just want certain things about my next birth to be different and I feel like I can "get my way" if I am at home.


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## ~Katie~ (Mar 18, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Viola* 
I think people can have good experiences in both places, but your experience doesn't negate a home birthing mother's, and a home birthing mother's experience doesn't negate yours.









:

I had an excellent hospital water birth with my first, and I'm home birthing this time around. One reason being that we moved away from that hospital and the ones I have available to me now are not supportive of my birthing choices, every choice I would want to make regarding how I labor and birth would be a fight and I'm just not willing to do that when I have the option of birthing in my own territory and on my own terms. Even if I had access to a mother-baby friendly hospital I would still homebirth because I have access to home birth midwives now who are well-trained, in-addition to being able to provide compassionate and personalized care and companionship during my pregnancy, labor, birth, and post-partum period. My pregnancies are low-risk and I am a good candidate for home birth, so why should I leave my home in the midst of labor to go to a hospital to birth when my home is perfectly suitable and a much more comfortable place to accomplish this? Where a woman chooses to birth is very individualized and there are many factors that come into play when making the decision to home or hospital birth, there isn't one right way or wrong way for everyone.


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## herbanmama (Jun 10, 2005)

I'm glad you had such a positive experience, GAjenn. However, I have yet to witness what I would perceive as a satisfactory OB/client relationship nor have I attended a hospital birth in which the mother was treated with the respect and dignity she deserves.

However, it isn't 'bad' experiences with hospital birth which have led me to choose homebirth. My first dd was born 10 years ago at home, long before I became a doula and witnessed hospital birth firsthand. 5 years before I gave birth, someone at work passed a copy of Ina May Gaskin's _Spiritual Midwifery_ along to me and it completely transformed the way I thought about childbirth (not that I had thought about it that much - I was a 20 year old free spirit at the time). I knew upon finishing the book that homebirth was for me. I began to view childbirth as a rite of passage rather than a medical event and knew that my chances of being able to experience birth on my terms were greater at home with a midwife.

In the 15 years that have passed since discovering homebirth and the midwifery model of care, I have known many women - family and friend - who have given birth, and have begun work as a doula. When I hear of or witness the hospital birth experiences of these women in my life, I cannot help but be appalled by the standard of care they receive and even worse, shocked that this standard of care is accepted as 'the norm'.

I know that in a little over a month when I give birth at home for the second time, nobody will be pushing me to have an episiotomy, medications and procedures will not be suggested or forced, I'll have the freedom to eat and drink what I please, I won't be hooked up to a bajillion tubes and monitors, I can go outside and labor in my yard, my chances of a c/s are practically nil, I will have the pleasure of reaching down and catching my own baby if I choose, water will be available to me to labor and birth in, I choose each and every person who will be in attendance, a hot meal will be waiting for me after I bathe and will have the comfort of nursing in my own bed while I enjoy my after-labor meal, the list goes on and on and on...

Above all, I firmly believe that my baby's health and safety will be protected by birthing at home with my trusted midwife.

I suggest having a look at _The Business of Being Born_ and _Pregnant in America_. BoBB is available as a 'Watch Instantly' on Netflix if you have Netflix. _Pregnant..._ is available to watch for free online: http://www.ineedpopcorn.com/fetch.php?id=004188&part=1
I also recommend _Orgasmic Birth_ which I don't think is available online, but can be ordered and actually, there is a showing in a threatre here in my humble city this weekend - so it's out there. I agree that _Pushed_ by Jennifer Block is a great critique on medicalized childbirth. There are many many books...if you hang around this website long enough, you'll hear the recommendations enough to know them by heart.









Again, I am glad that you had a great hospital experience. But aside from considering that you may have just have had an awesome OB and hospital staff, remember that experience is relative and what fits one woman may not fit another. Lots of variables here.


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## Juvysen (Apr 25, 2007)

I thought my hospital birth was a lot awesome-er before I did much research into how it "should" be, if obstetrics was practiced based on evidence...







:


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## bubbamummy (Feb 25, 2009)

I too was VERY lucky with my hospital birth, in the UK the push to medicate is MUCH less. I had one midwife and my husband in the room and that was all. The midwife was lovely and helpful. I had my baby med free and was given support on breastfeeding she was also all about the 'skin-to-skin' thing and my baby was at the breast within seconds. My baby NEVER left my sight and I was able to take a bath and dress as I wanted. We were discharged 4hrs later. However this is OFTEN not the case, epecially from what I have heard from my new friends here in the US. Hospitals are often quick to push meds, induce etc etc and make women feel undermined and out of control.

I hope to have a 'birthing center' birth next time around (as we will still most likely be here in the US) although, had I been in England next time I would have been very happy to deliver in the hospital which has a 'midwife lead birthing centre' as well as the delivery suit.


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## dmarina (Jul 6, 2008)

it's easier to be happy when you just accept the "norm", maybe ignorance is bliss? the more i started reading, the more conflicted i became, and the less sure i was of a hospital birth. i had no desire to pay into a system that doesn't 'inherently' respect my needs, where 1 in 3 women have c-sections. i was about as low risk as can be, and i didn't need any of the services offered by the hospital.
i didn't want vitamin k injections, eye goop, hep b vax. i didn't want my baby bathed and bundled or the cord clamped before it stopped pulsing. i wanted to eat and drink and be with my friends and family in the comfort of my home. i wanted to snuggle in my bed with my DP and my baby after i gave birth. i didn't want to be hooked up or strapped up or monitored in any way. i wanted to be free to give birth in the positions i chose, in the place i chose.
and i didn't want to have to put it in a birth plan to make sure my wishes were honored, i chose providers that supported my desires & paid money to a system of healthcare that i feel supports women and babies.
i feel that hospitals are there to help sick people and my baby and i are as healthy as they come!

btw, when i say ignorant, i was referring to myself before i started reading! (just in case that came out wrong)


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## thixle (Sep 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nummies* 
Wander over to the birth trauma forum.

I am so happy for you that you were so lucky and had a wonderful hospital birth! good for you!

Others, like myself, aren't so lucky. We leave feeling broken, depressed, and traumatized. Let's not make light of my (or any other mamas here) situation.

Thank you for so politely saying exactly what I was thinking.
I saw the thread title and moused over thinking... I dunno, the thread was about something else. When I read the OP, I burst into tears.

Don't get me wrong, OP. I'm very happy you had an awesome hospital birth! I came pretty close to an ideal hospital birth with DD2, but... well. It usually doesn't happen that way.


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## angelcat (Feb 23, 2006)

I will never have a homebirth, and I wouldn't want to, other than to avoid hopsital food.

I didn't have a great hospital experience, (I didn't get the epidural I wanted-I still think it might have prevented a c-section in my case. ) But, for me, I WANT constant fetal monitoring during labour. If I coudl get it the last 4 months of pregnancy, I would. No, I'm not kidding. I worried almost constantly, except when I was sleepng or being monitored. Beng at home other than during early labour is WAY out of my comfort zone.

I think homebirth can be great if you are comfortable with it and are low risk. I use to always think I wanted to homebirth. If I'd known before I got pregnant that I wouldn't get an epidural, I might have at least gone with a midwife.

My hospital is bf'ing friendly. The nurses believe epiduarls are dangerous, they are't enouraged at all at prenatal classes, BUT they also give you NO help on how to breathe thru contractions or anything, and the pain control they will give you is a joke. My dr. was good though. The OB/GYN who did the c-section was AWESOME.

If I could have gone home the day after my c-section, and had nursing care at home for a few days, I would have said my hospital experience was great. The 5 day hospital stay sucked though. The nurses refused to beleive I was in as much pain as I said I was, so at least once, I ened up crying myself to sleep waiting for pain meds, because they ignored it when I hit the call button. Turns out my incision was infected, and it might have gotten treated sooner if they believed me. (I told them the pain was gettting way worse instead of better-they did not believe me.)

I actually was more pro homebirth before I started reading here. I'd never ever heard so many stories of things going tragically wrong during labour as I have here. I won't even consider a hospital vbac after reading here. If I ever have another, I'm getting a repeat c-section.


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## rachelsmama (Jun 20, 2005)

Feeling secure and relaxed tends to help labour and birth go well. I feel secure and relaxed at home attended by midwives that I know, I do NOT feel secure and relaxed in a hospital environment. Besides that I think it's a bit barbaric to get a healthy labouring woman to squeeze herself into a car and drive to a hospital simply because "that's how it's done". The people who are NOT in labour can travel much more comfortably. And of course, statically there is no advantage to going to the hospital without a medical reason.

ETA: I'm not trying to say homebirth is for everyone, just why I chose it. Everyone's different.


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## kalisis (Jan 10, 2005)

I'm really glad that you had a great hospital birth. It often doesn't happen that way.

Just as I'll defend your choice to birth where you please and where you feel best, you should defend my choice to birth where I please and where I feel best. I am not going to tell you that you're wrong for wanting/accepting to birth at a hospital, nor should you tell me I'm wrong for wanting to birth at home.

What it's really about is choice. It is MY choice where I birth - just b/c your experience was good doesn't mean that ALL experiences are good. Perhaps take a step back and see the bigger picture, not just the world as it appears from your limited experience (which is a useful skill for all of us).

There have been some very good statistics quoted here, but if you're really truly curious and not just trying to start a fight, then go do some research on your own. Check out the WHO and anyplace that has birthing statistics to see how dismal hospitals in America really are. Compare our rates to the rates in other countries that support other birth options.

This is a place for those of who don't fit into the mainstream feel safe and can congregate - there aren't many of those places out there. If what you read here is upsetting and you don't want to educate yourself as to the true realities of what happens in the majority of hospital births, there are plenty of other places on the web where you can go to sing the praises of OBs and hospitals.


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## Gena 22 (Jul 3, 2008)

Most OBs and hospitals have their hands tied by malpractice liability. They have to err on the side of doing more rather than less, even if there's no benefit to the mother or baby. It's almost a clique: no one gets sued for the c/s they do, only the c/s they don't do.

I would have been OK with a hospital birth. I found a wonderful hospital and could have been comfortable there. Although I would have still worried about getting "timed out" and forced into a c/s.

Then I found out I was carrying twins. That changed everything. My twins are spontaneous, not something I chose. But the mere fact of carrying two meant I was nearly assured a c/s at my lovely hospital. I knew I didn't need one. Can everyone understand this: I DIDN'T WANT TO BE CUT OPEN FOR NO REASON!

So I planned a homebirth. Which was wonderful and now I'm a huge advocate. But I'm still angry that I was FORCED to birth at home if I wanted to carry my twins full term and birth vaginally. BTW, both were totally safe. I kept with my OBs and peri until 37 weeks and knew all three of us were in top health and good positions. I paid about $2000 out of pocket, although I had great insurance which would have paid every penny at the hospital. I feel like I ransomed my body from the doctors that wanted to cut me open. A bit dramatic, but essentially true.

OP, keep an open mind and support birth choice. Glad you birth went well.


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## Sailor (Jun 13, 2006)

It's funny, I've never given birth (obviously, lol), but my thinking has always been "why hospital birth?"

To me, hospitals have always been places for emergencies, places for people who need medical attention, places for people who are sick, injured, etc.

Whereas pregnancy and birth has always been a very natural, normal idea to me. Statistically, the chances of something wrong happening are small. The chances of my having a perfectly normal pregnancy and birth are high. So, why would I, with my healthy self, go to the hospital? I just never grasped that concept. I don't think birth or pregnancy is a medical emergency.

Plus, I also don't want to be cut open. If you look at the statistics for c-sections in American hospitals - it's SCARY to me. They sure don't match the statistics of healthy birth versus something going wrong. Which tells me they're being done for either no medical reason at all or because the hospital interventions made the c-section necessary.

Right now, my partner and I are having the BEST time just visualizing pregnancy and birth. Sure, it may not happen that way. But, I feel very safe knowing I can be in my ow home, comfortable, without having strangers around me. I'm a private person and an introvert. The thought of strangers near me during birth just makes me all kinds of tense.


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## SublimeBirthGirl (Sep 9, 2005)

I thought my hospital birth was great until I had a homebirth.


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## ber (Apr 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SublimeBirthGirl* 
I thought my hospital birth was great until I had a homebirth.

This. Exactly.


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## Juvysen (Apr 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SublimeBirthGirl* 
I thought my hospital birth was great until I had a homebirth.

Me, too.


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## Patchfire (Dec 11, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SublimeBirthGirl* 
I thought my hospital birth was great until I had a homebirth.

Exactly!


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

I've never given birth anywhere, but I've laboured at home and at the hospital. I would, happily, trade 15 minutes of labour in the hospital for two days of labour at home. I know some people do have good births in the hospital, but it completely amazes me that it's even possible.

I'm going back in June. I'm not looking forward to any part of it. Having the c-section sucks, but so does every other part of trying to be a mother with people constantly getting in my face and interfering. I'm not a "patient" just because I had a baby, but I'm a patient in this culture....and I would be, even without the surgery, if not to the same extent.

DD will have to make the choices that work for her, but I really hope she opts to avoid my path, and just has her babies at home.


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## wbg (Mar 28, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *xelakann* 
I love reading positive hospital birth stories. Thank you for sharing yours. I feel like "good" birthing hospitals are regional. In Portland I know several women who had great birthing experiences in the hospital. And I know two OB's who use and recommend hypnobirthing methods and who have both had med-free births themselves.

A lot women here feel like hospitals are for sick people and not a place for births. For me I just love the care I get from a midwife and I loved birthing in the water.
Homebirths are in a big minority and a lot of women come here for reassurance and acceptance about their choice. But I can see how things can get one-sided and like I said before it is helpful for me to hear the positive hospital birth stories too.










Quote:


Originally Posted by *Viola* 
I think people can have good experiences in both places, but your experience doesn't negate a home birthing mother's, and a home birthing mother's experience doesn't negate yours.

Yeah that.

OP, I admire the honesty of your question. I too have had both hospital and home birth experiences and have been exceptionally fortunate to have had beautiful experiences in both places. What I like about MDC is that here, I feel I can talk about homebirth without either having to defend my choices, or to find myself advocating it. I find when I discuss homebirth in a more mainstream environment, I am put on the defensive and as odd as this might sound, I even sometimes feel guilty talking about my positive birth, if someone else has had a negative experience, whatever the location.

I truly believe that each woman should give birth in the place where she feels most empowered and supported, whether that location is in hospital, at home with her midwife or by herself in a cabin. I believe that when I say that I had a hospital birth, that does not mean that someone who chooses HB or UC is wrong. I believe that when I HB, that does not mean someone should not go to hospital or UC.

Perhaps it is easy for me to maintain such a neutral position as I have only personal experience to go on. But I try to listen and empathise which each person's choices.

One thing I do find, is that we are not usually given all the facts when we first fall pregnant and that aspect bothers me. I think that is where I might sound more like an advocate for homebirth and homeopathics etc etc because when I first fell pregnant I did not consider any other options than mainstream ones. While I claim full responsibility for my own lack of knowledge, I do feel that during our prenatal care it would be nice to be told that there are alternative options, to be encouraged to explore all birthing choices so that we can truly make an informed choice. I feel like some people have had interventions thrust onto them under false pretenses and it makes it hard to develop a trusting relationship with your care giver. I moved to HB because I moved to a country that had very different views toward birth and I felt they were lying to me. I wanted to know that if my MW/OB said your baby is in distress and you need a c section now, that I would not hesitate for a minute. With my OB back home she was so supportive of genuine natural vaginal birth and not intervening that if she had said this is not right, I would absolutely believe her. Unfortunately, nowadays many hospitals use the " your baby is in distress" line as a power play and I would not know when there was a genuine threat.

Having had a HB I loved, I now can't imagine birthing elsewhere, but that does not make my hospital births any less magical.


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## felix23 (Nov 7, 2006)

I also had a hospital birth that was realy amazing. I understand why people want to give birth at home, but it really isn't for me. To me birth is natural, but just like all things in nature it can turn tragic in a second. I am more comfortable in a place full of people trained to deal with these problems. I wasn't really like that with my first pregnancy, but once I saw how quickly things can go wrong I knew that I will always be someone who does not trust my body to give birth. I read all the time on here that a woman's body knows how to give birth, but mine doesn't.

But I think everyone should give birth how and where they want.


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## artgoddess (Jun 29, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GAjenn* 
I love this forum and its support of everything, especially BF and EC. I just don't understand home birthing and I guess am looking for more information that might make me feel different????? I read a lot of negative comments about hospitals and doctors. I would also be scared that something might go wrong that could be treated at a hospital. This is not something I am opinionated about, just looking for other Mom's input. There are so many things that never even crossed my mind until I had a baby, now it is a whole new world.

Can you clarify what you mean by not "understanding" home birth? I'm not getting what there is to understand. Do you mean it's not for you? That's fine if it is not. Just as there are 100 different flavors of ice cream there are different arenas in which a woman feels comfortable birthing. I don't find it difficult to understand that someone is going to want a different experience for their birth than I want for my birth.


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## Altair (May 1, 2005)

I have a link in my blog (click on it in my signature) with a video my partner and I just made called "why homebirth?"


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## flower01 (Aug 1, 2007)

I always planned a homebirth, from the time I learned about it in a women's studies class in college. A little bit of research convinced my husband and my beautiful homebirth was the best experience of my life. My baby was 4 weeks early and choosing to birth at home was a call my midwife allowed me to make. Had I planned a hospital birth the outcome for my "premie" would have been very different. Lots of testing, forced formula feedings, and many other interventions would have surely transpired. When my water broke, it was almost 24 hours later that active labor really started. That would never have been allowed in a hospital - they would have induced me and who knows what else. So, although I think there is a place for modern medicine I think it often gets abused and I prefer to use it when absolutely necessary. People have different beliefs about health and medical interventions. I personally believe that a healthy body knows what to do and too many interventions just lead to problems. At my homebirth, I had my chiropractor there balancing my body during contractions. You can bet that wouldn't be appreciated at a hospital.


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## jennyfah (Jul 20, 2006)

I think many of the responses have either hinted at (or outright said) that if you have a wonderful hospital experience in the US, you're lucky. It is the sad case in the U.S. that to have a gentle birth in a hospital, most people must do a lot of work---so much education, self-advocacy, getting to the hospital ready to push, etc. Not my idea of a fun time in labor!







Even if you have a terrific hospital with perfect policies, a track record of evidence-based care, a mother-and-baby-friendly postpartum care system, and a great birth team whom you trust, all it takes is one person or wonky intervention to really throw a wrench in your birth. Of course, you can ask for a different person to attend you, it's so much nicer not to have to.









Additionally, one in five people leaves the hospital with an infection they didn't have when they got there. I'm not a germaphobe (far from it!) but MERSA and antibiotic-resistant bugs squick me out, majorly. I prefer my own bacteria thankyverymuch!









Why homebirth for me? Because I know myself, and I know that I am the "good" submissive patient who collapses under the weight of even an implication that I should comply to some policy. And, in my experience, cascades of interventions follow. I was in therapy for six months for the PTSD I experienced in my horrific first (hospital) birth.

OP, I am glad that you had a wonderful experience. I hope that the responses here help you understand why people choose to birth at home and avoid hospitals for normal birth.

Peace,
Jen


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## nummies (Jun 9, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Altair* 
I have a link in my blog (click on it in my signature) with a video my partner and I just made called "why homebirth?"

Loved it! best wishes on a beautiful birth!


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## erin_brycesmom (Nov 5, 2005)

I too have had a "wonderful" natural birth in the hospital but it took that experience for me to realize that it is not actually possible to truly have the time of birth that I want for my baby and myself inside of the hospital. Sure, no one pushed drugs or formula on me and my baby but hospitals do what hospitals do. They aren't going to let you do everything. They aren't going to allow a mother to have an unhindered 2nd stage. They will not. Because it is a liability for them. I've never read one single hospital birth story out of literally THOUSANDS that had an unhindered 2nd stage. I believe it is impossible to have that in a hospital. Yet this can be the most important aspect for the safety of the baby.

So to sum it up, those of us that choose homel birth are looking for a different experience than you were. We want to have the power over our bodies, our births and our babies.

I've never read a single "wonderful" natural hospital birth story that did not make my stomach turn. But those women enjoyed their birth and got what they wanted. The reason - we want different things.


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## felix23 (Nov 7, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *erin_brycesmom* 
I too have had a "wonderful" natural birth in the hospital but it took that experience for me to realize that it is not actually possible to truly have the time of birth that I want for my baby and myself inside of the hospital. Sure, no one pushed drugs or formula on me and my baby but hospitals do what hospitals do. They aren't going to let you do everything. They aren't going to allow a mother to have an unhindered 2nd stage. They will not. Because it is a liability for them. I've never read one single hospital birth story out of literally THOUSANDS that had an unhindered 2nd stage. I believe it is impossible to have that in a hospital. Yet this can be the most important aspect for the safety of the baby.

So to sum it up, those of us that choose homel birth are looking for a different experience than you were. We want to have the power over our bodies, our births and our babies.

*I've never read a single "wonderful" natural hospital birth story that did not make my stomach turn*. But those women enjoyed their birth and got what they wanted. The reason - we want different things.

I don't know if I am taking this wrong or not, but the bolded part really makes me not want to share my birth story. Lucy is three months old today and I've spent most of the day thinking about what a wonderful amazing experience her birth was, and that I should really write out her birth story. I still get warm and fuzzy feelings thinking about her birth.







: I didn't have a natural birth, I had a c-section, but it was still wonderful.


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## erin_brycesmom (Nov 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *felix23* 
I don't know if I am taking this wrong or not, but the bolded part really makes me not want to share my birth story. Lucy is three months old today and I've spent most of the day thinking about what a wonderful amazing experience her birth was, and that I should really write out her birth story. I still get warm and fuzzy feelings thinking about her birth.







: I didn't have a natural birth, I had a c-section, but it was still wonderful.

Please don't take it personally. I am not anti-section. It isn't about the mode of birth. I've just gotten to the point where I don't enjoy reading vaginal birth stories where the 2nd stage is directed, even if not vocally. I will admit that it is a personal problem of mine at this point.


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## Graceoc (Mar 26, 2002)

Quote:

I've never read a single "wonderful" natural hospital birth story that did not make my stomach turn. But those women enjoyed their birth and got what they wanted. The reason - we want different things.

Quote:

I've just gotten to the point where I don't enjoy reading vaginal birth stories where the 2nd stage is directed, even if not vocally. I will admit that it is a personal problem of mine at this point.

I can totally understand where you are coming from. That said my last birth was truly the perfect natural childbirth...in a hospital. I caught my own baby, packed up and went home. No one talked to me, no one bothered me, no one offered me a single thing that I did not want. I really could not have asked for a better birth. Having had a previous homebirth (as well as a previous birth center waterbirth and hospital epidural birth) I do kind of wish I could have been at home, but that wasn't in the books. It really was wonderful.


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## erin_brycesmom (Nov 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Graceoc* 
I can totally understand where you are coming from. That said my last birth was truly the perfect natural childbirth...in a hospital. I caught my own baby, packed up and went home. No one talked to me, no one bothered me, no one offered me a single thing that I did not want. I really could not have asked for a better birth. Having had a previous homebirth (as well as a previous birth center waterbirth and hospital epidural birth) I do kind of wish I could have been at home, but that wasn't in the books. It really was wonderful.

Oh, I'm sure you had a wonderful birth. Trust me you are NOT the first person to claim the above to me, lol. But every last time I do a quick search and find their birth story posted somewhere or bits and pieces and find that it really wasn't what I was talking about after all. I wish I could say that your story was different but I did search through some of your posts just now and saw some details about your birth that are exactly what bothers me about hospital births and exactly why I know it is not possible to get what I want there. Sorry mama.

FWIW, like I said, I had a great hospital birth experience. I got every single thing I asked for without any opposition what-so-ever. No IV, No heplock, No CFM, No AROM, No drugs offered, No coached pushing, pushed on my knees at my own will, etc. Still, I just have a different idea about what I want in birth for my baby and myself. And I can't get it in the hospital.

Still my natural hospital birth will always hold a special place in my heart. It truly changed my life. But I wasn't unhindered and it did effect the birth and my baby.


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## Graceoc (Mar 26, 2002)

Quote:

But I wasn't unhindered
now that I can totally 'get'. I would agree that my perfect hospital birth wasn't 'unhindered' as well....and it is not the same as a homebirth.







However, that dosen't mean it was bad (for me)...just a different kind of good.


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## talk de jour (Apr 21, 2005)

I think we need to all find the safest, most fulfilling birth for all of us individually without slighting anyone else's.


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## erin_brycesmom (Nov 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Graceoc* 
now that I can totally 'get'. I would agree that my perfect hospital birth wasn't 'unhindered' as well....and it is not the same as a homebirth.







However, that dosen't mean it was bad (for me)...just a different kind of good.

Yes, I can totally respect that other people want different things out of their births. I just know that for me, it is not possible to get what I want in the hospital. Some people don't mind an OB saying there is a problem at the last minute. Some people don't mind being asked to be put on CFM strips at the end of their labor. Some people don't mind not letting 2nd stage progress normally. Some people don't mind if their HCP dives in and catches their baby while they are in the middle of doing it themselves. I mean absolutely no disrespect to women who don't mind those types of things. It doesn't mean what they want is bad and what I want is good. It just means we want different things. I just wanted to offer the OP a different perspective on why some women choose home birth.


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## saharasky (Dec 20, 2002)

It's about choice and making the best choice for ourselves and our babies. Just like you make the best choices for yours. I am glad for you that your experience was positive.

I chose homebirth because my mother chose homebirth and I was fortunate enough as a child to witness the birth of my baby brother. It defined the 'normalcy' of childbirth for me. I never actually even considered having a baby in the hospital. Sick people go to hospitals. Hospitals have rules that can conflict with what I believe is in my and my childs best interests.

My mother chose to have my brother and sister at home after having 3 (probably unnecessary c-sections) because the doctors in the late 70's early 80's would not allow her to VBAC in the hospital. They told her that if she attempted to push a baby out of her vagina she would kill herself and her unborn child. They were wrong ... twice. She chose homebirth because she wanted choice ... a say in how the birth of her children would proceed.

There are as many resons to choose homebirth as there are to choose hospital birth. Fortunately we've been given free will.


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## Graceoc (Mar 26, 2002)

Quote:

Some people don't mind if their HCP dives in and catches their baby while they are in the middle of doing it themselves. I mean absolutely no disrespect to women who don't mind those types of things.
I really am not trying to go off track, but I can't help but think you are referring to my brief birth story. I just have to laugh, because the details are missing and the truth is had someone not 'dove in to catch' my baby would have fallen onto the floor, as I was standing and holding her in with one hand, while trying not to fall down because the floor was so slippery from my water gushing out as her head came out LOL! I know you mean no disrespect, I do get that...and none is taken. It is just funny that is what you would happen to bring up. The monitoring I could had done without, but again it was my choice to say yes, and it didn't bother me.

As I said before, I have had a homebirth and an amazing water birth. I was very much like the OP after my first birth (a different hospital birth) and didn't really get what this homebirth thing was all about. I think doing your research and searching yourself for what is really important *to you* is what matters most. By the time I had my fourth baby - the last hospital birth - I knew that I could pretty much do whatever I wanted and nothing anyone else would do or say would really bother me. So going to the hospital wasn't really a big deal.


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## bubbamummy (Feb 25, 2009)

I have read some crazy things, my hospital birth was undirected, I was free to move in what ever position I wanted, I was eating toast and drinking hot chocolate during labor, I was allowed anything I wanted from birthing balls, blankets, food, music, water...whatever! I was not monitered, I had one midwife with me the whole time, no Drs, nurses etc. They gave no eye drops and no vaxinations. My midwife gave me a massage as I (stood) and pushed. We talked about her children and how old they were and laughed about her labors. When it got too much I asked for an epidural and she said 'No Sophie...you CAN do this, you know you can!' that was all I needed and I had a med free, Iv free, moniter free birth, the lights were dimmed and there were no bleeping machines. I then cuddled/nursed my baby for as long as I wanted-undisturbed (except for more hot chocolate being delivered







) I was allowed to leave when ever I wanted (we were discharged after 4 hrs)

I am not against home births in the slightest but I have to say hospital births can be natural, calm beautiful experiences too

This was all in England...maybe its different !?


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## HappyMommy2 (Jan 27, 2007)

I keep coming back to this thread so I guess I just have to post. That is so wonderful that you had a nice hospital birth. I wish that was true for more women in America!

However, your choice of title implies that you would like to disparage other women's birth choices.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HappyMommy2* 
I keep coming back to this thread so I guess I just have to post. That is so wonderful that you had a nice hospital birth. I wish that was true for more women in America!

However, your choice of title implies that you would like to disparage other women's birth choices.

I was actually just thinking that when I read your post. The thread title kind of reminds me of the "you can do X after a c-section - I know, because I had one" posts. It totally ignores the fact that different people have different experiences, yk?


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## SublimeBirthGirl (Sep 9, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Graceoc* 
I can totally understand where you are coming from. That said my last birth was truly the perfect natural childbirth...in a hospital. I caught my own baby, packed up and went home. No one talked to me, no one bothered me, no one offered me a single thing that I did not want. I really could not have asked for a better birth. Having had a previous homebirth (as well as a previous birth center waterbirth and hospital epidural birth) I do kind of wish I could have been at home, but that wasn't in the books. It really was wonderful.

I guess the main thing to say about this is that your experience is really rare. I'm happy for you and I'm not opposed to women choosing hospital birth. Whatever a woman wants is what she should get and I'm an advocate for humanizing hospital birth as much as I am for letting women know that homebirth is a safe option most of the time. The kind of birth you describe is very hard to have in most hospitals though. Where I live, it's almost impossible, and once you get outside of average (long labor, for example, or ROM beyong 24 or sometimes even 12 hours), things go downhill fast.


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## flower01 (Aug 1, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sophieslion* 
I have read some crazy things, my hospital birth was undirected, I was free to move in what ever position I wanted, I was eating toast and drinking hot chocolate during labor, I was allowed anything I wanted from birthing balls, blankets, food, music, water...whatever! I was not monitered, I had one midwife with me the whole time, no Drs, nurses etc. They gave no eye drops and no vaxinations. My midwife gave me a massage as I (stood) and pushed. We talked about her children and how old they were and laughed about her labors. When it got too much I asked for an epidural and she said 'No Sophie...you CAN do this, you know you can!' that was all I needed and I had a med free, Iv free, moniter free birth, the lights were dimmed and there were no bleeping machines. I then cuddled/nursed my baby for as long as I wanted-undisturbed (except for more hot chocolate being delivered







) I was allowed to leave when ever I wanted (we were discharged after 4 hrs)

I am not against home births in the slightest but I have to say hospital births can be natural, calm beautiful experiences too

This was all in England...maybe its different !?

I think it is VERY different in the US. For starters, not having any Drs or nurses in the room would NEVER happen. And while I enjoyed a root beer float during my labor at home, all of my friends enjoyed as many ice chips that they wanted.


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## Juvysen (Apr 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flower01* 
I think it is VERY different in the US. For starters, not having any Drs or nurses in the room would NEVER happen. And while I enjoyed a root beer float during my labor at home, all of my friends enjoyed as many ice chips that they wanted.

Yeah, I have to agree. There was probably 10 people in the room while I was pushing during my "good" hospital birth. I knew 2 of them - my husband and my midwife. After I had given birth, the next two days, I was given the "Freak show" treatment, I think. That is, I had nurses I'd never seen before coming in and saying "wow, we heard you had an amazing birth in here! Pitocin but no pain meds??" One nurse came in and told me she was there while I pushed out my daughter (there were so many, I had no idea) and she said "wow, no screaming or crying or anything!" I mostly just felt weirded out that all these people were discussing me at the nurses station - people I'd never met and who just witnessed one of the most intimate moments of my life... and then they were gossiping about it. Just felt weird and awkward... I'm sort of a private person, at least about who SEES me in vulnerable moments...

I *was* given lunch while I was on pitocin (very early labor that had been started from scratch with pit), though, so I was happy about that.


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## felix23 (Nov 7, 2006)

I think hospital births are starting to change for the better in the USA. The hospital my sister gave birth in provided someone to give massages during labor. And she could have eaten, but she didn't want to. At the hospital I had my c-sections mothers were encouraged to walk and move around as much as they want. They even have several small gardens, a reflection pool, and a waterfall that laboring moms can go relax at. Even the c-section area is built to be as family friendly as possible.


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## MegBoz (Jul 8, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *erin_brycesmom* 
I've never read one single hospital birth story out of literally THOUSANDS that had an unhindered 2nd stage.

I'm confused. What do you mean by 'hindered?' I would consider my 2nd stage unhindered, even though there was some "interference." First, I had EFM (but the nurse held the censor on my belly - no belt - I barely noticed, didn't bother me in the least.)
2nd, DS' HR dropped to 70-80's range when I was pushing. I know anything below 90 is a concern. They gave me oxygen & had me get down on my left side (I was on hands & knees.) that resolved it.
That's it! that's the extent of my 'hinderance.' DS' head emerged & my MW unwrapped the cord twice from his neck, then with the next push his body emerged & my DH caught him & put him on my chest.

The fact that my MW had me get on my left side because of decels is, to me, not related to the fact that I was in a hospital. Isn't a HB MW supposed to monitor baby's HR too - & take some action if it goes into a 'red zone' (& below 90 is of concern, aka "red zone.")

So it sounds like my story is another that would "make your stomach turn" and I just don't get why. I would hope a MW in a HB would have taken the same actions. So I dont' get why my story "stomach-turning." Like a PP, I thought his birth was fabulous & an amazing, wonderful experience.


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## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)

I had a decent hospital birth. I did not see any doctors or nurses. The midwives here do home and hospital births. My midwives were the only ones i saw. My home birth was still very different and much better.

The crappy part of my hospital birth was after the birth. I asked for a private room, but they were full. I hated sharing a room. I got absolutely zero sleep. Our babies kept waking each other up. The nurses were not helpful for breastfeeding. There was no privacy.

My husband says how much less stressful it was. It was wonderful being in my home. It is so nice to not have to go anywhere. Being in labour in the car was like freaking torture.

For me, having a home birth is not about avoiding a hospital birth. It is to have a home birth for the merits of having a home birth.


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## seraphim0517 (Jan 7, 2009)

I'd recommend the reading that others suggested. And the fact that nationwide we are looking at 30% c-section rates, over 50% induced or augmented labors, and terrible morbidity and mortality rates for hospital births. Statistically home birth is as safe or safer for low-risk women, and some that are thought of as high-risk as well. One of the factors contributing to those stat's is the prevalence of unneeded interventions. Continuos EFM has only been shown to raise c-section rates, not improve outcomes. Pitocin causes fetal distress, and blood pressure issues for mom, but is still handed out like candy. Epiduals have many risks and force you to labor in a counter-produtive posisition. Multiple VE's increase the risk of infection yet tell you nothing, but they are still routine. AROM risks cord prolapse, infection, and increased risk of fetal distress, but is still done routinely. Cyotec is still being used to induce labor, even though it can cause uterine rupture, and is not approved for that use. Then you have the hospital policies that are based on nothing more than turn over. If your water is broken x hours you must have a c-section, or pit. If you don't dilate 1 cm an hour (or 2) you have "failure to progress" and must consent to x intervention. Which failing that standard means nothing, just that you don't fit their definition of normal. Policies against vbac even though evidence shows that it is safer for most mothers and babies. Routine c-sections for twins, breech, and in some places just posterior presentation. Then the number of times invasive procedures are done without the womans concent and even after refusing it. Birth rape a trauma are not infrequent at all, and all cause emotional damage, some very serious physical damage. I know a woman who while shouting no, had a Dr. pull out her uterus while trying to manually remove the placenta, there was no reason for that to be done it was moments after birth, and she was not hemmorraging. I'm realizing that I have left a lot off this list, but this at least gives you an idea of some of the things we are trying to avoid. I know at home there are some risks, but knowing the risks that the hospital carrys I am happy to choose homebirth.
Then on top of all of that is the emotional side, some people can relax and have a good hospital birth, I can't. It panics me and makes labor much more exhausting and painful. I also don't think that pregnancy and birth are an illness, there is no way I would go to the hospital if I wasn't sick. So now I give birth at home. Maybe that helps? I'm glad you were pleased with your experience, but I see the opposite way. When homebirth is such a good option why would anyone go to the hospital?
(sorry about any spelling mistakes, spellcheck isn't working)
ETA: I know all these things don't happen to everyone who chooses to birth in a hospital, but the fact that they occur so frequently should give anyone pause.


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## herbanmama (Jun 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sophieslion* 
I have read some crazy things, my hospital birth was undirected, I was free to move in what ever position I wanted, I was eating toast and drinking hot chocolate during labor, I was allowed anything I wanted from birthing balls, blankets, food, music, water...whatever! I was not monitered, I had one midwife with me the whole time, no Drs, nurses etc. They gave no eye drops and no vaxinations. My midwife gave me a massage as I (stood) and pushed. We talked about her children and how old they were and laughed about her labors. When it got too much I asked for an epidural and she said 'No Sophie...you CAN do this, you know you can!' that was all I needed and I had a med free, Iv free, moniter free birth, the lights were dimmed and there were no bleeping machines. I then cuddled/nursed my baby for as long as I wanted-undisturbed (except for more hot chocolate being delivered







) I was allowed to leave when ever I wanted (we were discharged after 4 hrs)

I am not against home births in the slightest but I have to say hospital births can be natural, calm beautiful experiences too

This was all in England...maybe its different !?

I'd say so! If I could even imagine the possibility of a hospital birth in my area proceeding as such, I'd refer all my clients to that practice and sleep much better at night.


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## dawncayden (Jan 24, 2006)

MDC is a naturally minded place.

I honestly don't agree 100% with everything on MDC but I do with the majority of it. I don't believe that in order to get along here you need to be a believer in EVERYTHING but it is a requirement to be respectful of 'natural choices' people make on here.
For example, I have changed my stance on vaxing but I wouldn't come on here trying to make people vax their kids because its not the appropriate place.









In the hospital vs homebirth question, I'd say that a lot of people have had bad experiences with hospitals so they are looking for an alternative. It doesn't mean that EVERYONE has a bad experience in hospitals but a lot of posts you will read will have that side.

I would encourage you to find threads that have moms that need to have a hospital birth and maybe are fearful and use your good experience to put them at ease. You had a good experience, so share it with people and put that wonderful experience to good use.


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## tjlucca (Jun 16, 2008)

nummies said:


> Wander over to the birth trauma forum.
> 
> quote]
> 
> Read Ina May's guide to Child Birth , in it you will learn much that most people don't know about Hospital Birth. This will help you and anyone else for that matter, understand why so many of us are Pro-home birth. It's good to hear that you feel your birth experience was a good one. Best Wishes Mama.


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GAjenn* 
I love this forum and its support of everything, especially BF and EC. I just don't understand home birthing and I guess am looking for more information that might make me feel different????? I read a lot of negative comments about hospitals and doctors. I would also be scared that something might go wrong that could be treated at a hospital. This is not something I am opinionated about, just looking for other Mom's input. There are so many things that never even crossed my mind until I had a baby, now it is a whole new world.

#1. I don't want to get in a car in labor

#2. My ds was 43 weeks 5 days- that would not have been "allowed" with a hospital provider.

#3. With both babies I had LONG pushing stages- both would have been sectioned in the hospital.

#4. I hate needles- no IVs at home.

#5. Hospital germs.

#6. I don't want to get in a car with a brand new baby and me post-birth.

Those are just a sampling.

-Angela


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## tndixiemom (Jul 16, 2007)

I totally get why someone would choose a homebirth. I also understand why someone would want a natural birth in a hospital. What I don't get is the anger and resentment I see some people on this board show for those who choose to have a medicated hospital birth. I have got the feeling of being talked down to when I posted that I enjoyed my labor and look back on it fondly when I say that I choose to get an epidural. It is like some feel I wasn't supposed to because I didn't do it like they did. I truly feel sorry for the women who don't get to birth the way they wanted. It is a deeply personal experience, but my birth plan doesn't take anything away from yours.


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## MegBoz (Jul 8, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tndixiemom* 
I totally get why someone would choose a homebirth. I also understand why someone would want a natural birth in a hospital. What I don't get is the anger and resentment I see some people on this board show for those who choose to have a medicated hospital birth.

Well, there's no reason to have anger toward ladies who choose medicated birth. I'm sorry you've had that experience here on MDC. That's not right.

However, I personally have anger towards our high-tech, medicated, de-humanized, non-evidenced-based birth system in the US. As many others have said.

Additionally, I have anger that I'll have to hide my plans for an HB from my Mom & MIL so they don't FLIP OUT! & if I mention it to others, I'm likely to get reactions that people think I'm totally nuts & selfishly endangering the life of my child. A president of ACOG (American College of OB/GYN) even said HB is a form of child abuse! (I believe this was in the 1990s.)

That's unreasonable, ridiculous, & unfair. & I'm angry about that.

So perhaps some MDC Mamas have inadvertently extended THAT anger on to you. That doesn't make it right (& i don't even know if that was it - can't speak for others.) Just a thought I want to throw out there.

& finally, on a mostly unrelated note, many MDC mamas say they support a woman birthing wherever she personally feels comfortable. Well, in mainstream American culture, HB is viewed as reckless & insane. Having been raised with that your entire life is extremely difficult to overthrow & emotionally open yourself up to all the truths - not _just_ the truth that HB is NOT dangerous, but also the truth that although birth is physically painful, it is STILL a fabulous experience for many of us & we need not necessarily run from the pain to be medically numbed.

So it makes me mad that most American Mamas aren't really given a fair chance to consider HB because of the strong stigma in our society.


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## erin_brycesmom (Nov 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MegBoz* 
I'm confused. What do you mean by 'hindered?' I would consider my 2nd stage unhindered, even though there was some "interference." First, I had EFM (but the nurse held the censor on my belly - no belt - I barely noticed, didn't bother me in the least.)
2nd, DS' HR dropped to 70-80's range when I was pushing. I know anything below 90 is a concern. They gave me oxygen & had me get down on my left side (I was on hands & knees.) that resolved it.
That's it! that's the extent of my 'hinderance.' DS' head emerged & my MW unwrapped the cord twice from his neck, then with the next push his body emerged & my DH caught him & put him on my chest.

The fact that my MW had me get on my left side because of decels is, to me, not related to the fact that I was in a hospital. Isn't a HB MW supposed to monitor baby's HR too - & take some action if it goes into a 'red zone' (& below 90 is of concern, aka "red zone.")

So it sounds like my story is another that would "make your stomach turn" and I just don't get why. I would hope a MW in a HB would have taken the same actions. So I dont' get why my story "stomach-turning." Like a PP, I thought his birth was fabulous & an amazing, wonderful experience.

If you want my honest opinion, the things you described are good examples of hinderances that happen in hospital births during 2nd stage. Directed body positions (verbal or otherwise), stopping the pushing process to unwrap cords, etc. I just have a belief that a woman's body will lead her into the position that is the best and safest for her labor if she is unhindered. I definitely think anyone other than mom or dad's hads on baby/mom's vagina during 2nd stage is a hinderance which would include unwrapping cord loops. I would not want my baby's nuchal cord to be unwrapped prior to birth. I would never hire a MW who would take the actions that you describe. But I'm pro-UC as well. These are my personal preferences.

FWIW, I have no doubt in my mind that your experience was wonderful, fabulous and amazing. I think that most births are. I just wouldn't personally enjoy those specific aspects in my own births and would obviously react as such.


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## bananababies (Dec 10, 2006)

For me it's the comfort of being at home. My last birth was at a hospital, and while disappointing, it wasn't traumatic. But it sure was uncomfortable! Not being on my own turf, being tied up with IVs and monitors. I didn't feel like I was the one in charge - it was the hospital, the staff, the nurses, the clock, the resident OB.

Postpartum was even worse than labor! I shared a room, I was sore and uncomfortable. They were constantly checking on me during the day and night, when all I wanted was some sleep. One night I didn't get a chance to eat due to visitors, and after visiting hours, the cafeteria was closed. I didn't get to eat from about 2pm that day until 7am the next morning! It was awful! They were constantly urging me to send the baby to the nursery, when I had specifically requested rooming in. My husband was exhausted and very uncomfortable at the hospital, so he went home both nights. So unless I allowed them to take my dd to the nursery (against my true desires, but probably the most practical option at the time) I had no help during the night.

This time I'll be at home, with all my creature comforts. I'll be able to labor without strangers constantly interrupting me, I'll be able to eat what I want when I want. I'll be able to shower whenever I want. I don't have to ask permission for anything. I know that my husband will be there the entire time. My friends and family can come when I want them to. The list goes on and on and on.

I also know that my midwife is experienced and knowledgeable and I trust her completely. I know that if something arises that needs medical attention she will be aware and I will get the care I need. So when it comes to being at the hospital "just in case," I know under these circumstances it's major overkill. Like walking around in a body cast just in case you fall and break your leg. It's inhibiting, uncomfortable, and unnecessary.

There are so many reasons for homebirth! I could go on and on, not only from my personal experience, but also from that of my friends, my clients, the reading I've done, etc. I hope that more people get to know their options in childbirth, and make a decision based on their comfort level and the facts, not just because it's the "norm".


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## Belle (Feb 6, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SublimeBirthGirl* 
I thought my hospital birth was great until I had a homebirth.









: Exactly. My hospital birth was pretty good, but it was nothing like my homebirth.

There's a great quote from Barbara Harper about comparing hospitals to animals giving birth in zoos.

The keepers may be extremely compassionate and caring, the facilities may be state of the art, with all the modern technology available, but it is still captivity. Mammals weren't meant to give birth as captives. More complications happen in zoo births than in the wild. The same is true for home vs. hospital birth.

I wish I could find the exact quote...


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## philomom (Sep 12, 2004)

I had glorious, interevention free births in a hospital attended by my beloved CNM. No Iv, no drugs, no monitor, no cheerleader coaching, no separation from baby, no baby poking and prodding...just none of that you hear so much about. I was naked, the room was dark, the midwife checked the baby's heartbeat with the doppler thingy a couple of times,I got in the position I wanted to be in, I pushed when I felt like it. The baby was put right on my chest. The baby nursed right away each time. I got up shortly after pushing out the placenta and got a shower, got into my own bedclothes and ate a meal while nursing my newborn babe. No fuss. And no horror story. The baby stayed with us. We went home by noon the next day.

Yes, two very similar births, same midwife, two years apart... both babies born in the wee small hours of the night.


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *philomom* 
I had glorious, interevention free births in a hospital attended by my beloved CNM. No Iv, no drugs, no monitor, no cheerleader coaching, no separation from baby, no baby poking and prodding...just none of that you hear so much about. I was naked, the room was dark, the midwife checked the baby's heartbeat with the doppler thingy a couple of times,I got in the position I wanted to be in, I pushed when I felt like it. The baby was put right on my chest. The baby nursed right away each time. I got up shortly after pushing out the placenta and got a shower, got into my own bedclothes and ate a meal while nursing my newborn babe. No fuss. And no horror story. The baby stayed with us. We went home by noon the next day.

Yes, two very similar births, same midwife, two years apart... both babies born in the wee small hours of the night.

I wish every woman who wanted a hospital birth had the opportunity to have one like you describe.







Sounds fabulous.

There is NOTHING resembling that in any way shape or form here.









-Angela


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## *MamaJen* (Apr 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sophieslion* 

This was all in England...maybe its different !?

Yeah, definitely. Most American hospitals don't even allow midwives in hospitals, while midwives are the normal caregivers for low risk pregnancies in the UK. It's a totally different system -- and I think it's widely agreed that the UK has the better one.
So anyway...
Gosh, why homebirth when you can have a good birth in a hospital? I guess it depends on what you consider a good birth. For me, it boils down to the fact that our American system of hospital birth isn't evidence-based.
I will say this. I think a huge majority of women aren't well educated on the process of birth, on the risks and benefits of routine hospital procedures, on why the system is set up the way it is. And just that there is another way.
Sure, we should all respect each other's birth choices. But say I had a friend who was pregnant, and blithely went into the hospital without doing a lick of research, and wound up getting dosed with pitocin to move the labor along, then stuck with an epidural because it hurt like hell to be strapped to the bed for continuous fetal monitoring while enduring intense Pitocin contractions, then having to lay float on her back and hold her breath and push when told, then getting sliced open with an epesiotemy or a C-section -- well, that would make me pretty sad for her. And that's normal, percentage wise, in American hospital births.
I have heard of very educated women who've carefully crafted a birth plan and had a good birth in a hospital, but that seems to be the exception. It's something you have to research and fight for, or maybe luck out in getting a rare birth-positive hospital or OB, but it's not something that just happens.


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## DahliaRW (Apr 16, 2005)

I strongly believe that women should birth where they are most comfortable, hospital, home, birth center, forest, whatever as long as there is no undue risk (i.e. there are some births that should be in the hospital due to safety of the mother/baby, for example if mother has pre-e or something rare like that).

I'm more comfortable at home. Unless I risk out, I will birth at home. When I had a hospital birth I was so uncomfortable I did not go into labor on my own and ended up with pitocin. No issues with going into labor at home. And for low-risk women it is as safe as birthing in the hospital.


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## mrsfrenchy (Apr 14, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alegna* 
#1. I don't want to get in a car in labor

#2. My ds was 43 weeks 5 days- that would not have been "allowed" with a hospital provider.

#3. With both babies I had LONG pushing stages- both would have been sectioned in the hospital.

#4. I hate needles- no IVs at home.

#5. Hospital germs.

#6. I don't want to get in a car with a brand new baby and me post-birth.

Those are just a sampling.

-Angela

ditto what she said.

plus, DD was born 10 days "late" I know I would've been pushed very hard to be induced way before that had I been with an OB. Induction is not only much more painful but increases the likelihood of a c-section.

also, it took quite a while for me to move DD down once I was dialated all the way. My pushing stage was still under 3 hours (just barely), but progress was slow at first (turns out her hand was beside her head). OBs would've been impatient with this. She had a few decels in the last 20-30 minutes of push that might have resulted in vaccum extraction or a section if i was in the hospital.

At home, you are comfortable (which i'm convinced results in less pain) and you are in charge. I can't explain it; it's just different...better--for me anyway.


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## philomom (Sep 12, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alegna* 
I wish every woman who wanted a hospital birth had the opportunity to have one like you describe.







Sounds fabulous.

There is NOTHING resembling that in any way shape or form here.









-Angela

Sadly, I don't think it would happen again even in the same hospital. They have chased off the midwives and gotten very strict about monitoring and such. I just happened to be there the right times, the right midwife and was Bradley trained to be assertive should the need have arisen. I also get to the hospital very late... already 9 centimeters.. so there's not much time for them to mess with me.


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## cottonwood (Nov 20, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MegBoz* 
I'm confused. What do you mean by 'hindered?'

You asked about second stage. For me, having homebirths with a midwife, a "hindered" second stage meant, variously: feeling self-conscious about being observed; feeling expected to "perform"; being positioned on my back with three birth attendants peering at my crotch; being told to push as hard as I could when I didn't yet have the urge; being coached on how to push "correctly"; having my breathing, vocalizing, and movement criticized; being bullied and spoken to harshly because I was "hysterical" (i.e. making too much noise for their liking); having perineal massage done; dilation checks; being made to get into a "better" position for giving birth (squatting); the midwife checking for the cord; the midwife "guiding" the baby out; the midwife lifting the baby up onto me; the baby being taken away almost immediately for an exam. None of this, fwiw, was necessary from a medical standpoint; I and the baby were fine throughout.


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## JennTheMomma (Jun 19, 2008)

I am pro-free birthing choices. I think each woman/family unit, etc. should do what feels comfortable and right to them. We have options these days on where to birth. In a hospital, birthing center, at home, and I think thats great. When I was pregnant with Hunter I knew I didn't want a home birth right off the bat. We were renting a house at the time, and really long story short, I just wasn't comfortable at all birthing there. It just didn't feel right to me. After a lot of reading (actually before I was pregnant with Hunter because I was pregnant before and miscarried







), Birth- The Suprising History of How We Are Born, Natural Birth, Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. I decided that a birth in a Birth Center was what I was looking for. I had a very compassionate OB. He was all about natural births and doing what mom felt like. He encouraged a birth plan, and open discussions about birthing. He has a extremely low C-section rate, rarely does Episiotimies, only does monitoring if mom asks for or if there is signs of a problem (which he'd just check quick and then let the mom go without monitoring), does not push any pain meds on you, etc. My birth was so peaceful and wonderful. The nurse went by my birth plan and didn't speak at all unless I talked to her. I could move around in any position, walk around, use the tub/shower/birth pool, I could use different birth balls, use a birth stool, etc. They also encourage having support people with you, spouse/partner, parents, close friends and even a Doula. They have a lot of Doula's that work at the B.C., which also teach a class on natural birth. They also like having older siblings there, which is probably why they are called the Family Birth Center. They are very pro-breastfeeding and send in the Lactation Consultant shortly after birth. I was more comfortable there then I was at our home at the time. Their bed was a lot more comfy then my own, and they were all just so compassionate. I will always have a special love for my OB, as does my husband.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mrsfrenchy* 
plus, DD was born 10 days "late" I know I would've been pushed very hard to be induced way before that had I been with an OB.

DS2 was 12 days late. After months of fighting (which a pregnant and/or labouring woman should not have to do - _especially_ with people who are supposed to be providing "care"), and weeks of very strong pressure, I gave up on my VBA2C. (Boy - do some of my early "no way in hell" pronouncements on here come back to haunt me.)

When did I give up? When my OB said, "if you don't have the c-section tomorrow, I'll withdraw from your case". Yeah. I just loooooove "giving birth" in a hospital. Blech.


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## tireesix (Apr 27, 2006)

I am British and had my first in hospital.

I had planned a home birth but due to going overdue, I was told I needed to be induced even though there was no possible way I could be 42 weeks, 40 at most, but no one listened to me.

This was how the told me about the induction 'if you refuse the induction, your baby will die and it will be your fault, how do you feel about that'? I left in tears and for the next week put up with incredible pressure until I caved. They said I would go in on the Thursday and my baby would be here by the Friday.

After much rudeness and trauma, DD was born on the MONDAY morning, they forgot I was even in the hospital so no one took out my catheter for ages, I was threatened with having it put back in if I didn't pee enough (and I mean threatened, wasn't nice at all), I wasn't stitched properly and left with an infection that resulted in me losing a layer of skin from my genital area, it took 6 MONTHS to kill off.

I had home births with number 2 and 3, was treated with respect and care and got no infections and was sewn up properly.

I STILL suffer from that first birth, physically and emotionally. Despite this I am all for hospital births for those that want them.

The place of birth is up to the mother to decide, its about where she feels more comfortable, where she feels she will get best care for her and her baby. Some women have good hospital/home births, others have awful hospital/home births and we have to remember that and respect it and the choices that might result.

I wanted a home birth originally, because it felt right, in the end, I chose home births because of the treatment I received first time round. Why would I want to birth in a place where I am forgotten, treated like an idiot, encounter rudeness and people seem incapable of listening or doing their job right for me and my baby? Not to mention my poor husband who had to witness it, the effect it has had on him and us as a couple is bad.


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## barefootpoetry (Jul 19, 2007)

Everyone else has already made so many good points that I don't think there's really much else I can add here. So, in a nutshell, this is why I didn't choose hospital birth:

-I didn't want another C-section.

-I didn't want to hemmorrage to the brink of near-death again.

-I didn't want to be plugged into machines and then ignored for the duration of my labor.

-I didn't want to be treated like a child and talked down to as if I was some annoying inconvenience. I wanted RESPECT.

-I wanted to be able to actually have a DRINK OF WATER during labor if I wanted to.

-I just wanted to give birth. Not be strapped to a table and have my baby extracted from me.

I learned my lesson with my first birth. Yes, many women do have fabulous hospital births. But I don't want to have to spend my whole time in labor fighting off hospital staff to achieve that. I just wanted to birth my baby in peace. So I stayed home.


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## PassionateWriter (Feb 27, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GAjenn* 
I do not understand all of the articles and posts about home birthing. I do not feel as though my birthing experience was slighted emotionally or in any other way. Doctors and nurses are people who love delivering babies so much that they made the commitment to become educated and make it their career. The hospital staff was VERY supportive of breastfeeding during our stay and after (following up with the on staff lactation consultant). I was not offered formula, but received a bag with baby stuff, a homemade knit cap, breast pads, and several baby books. I feel a deep connection with the women who helped me bring my baby into the world.

]its wonderful that is your w=experience, given it was a positive one.....

but not everyone has a similar experience. the first 2 times i had hospital births...and they took me, dosed me and cut me open...TWICE!

so...after that...no thanks.

my free standing birth center birth was great...my home birth last year was even greater.

i complain about dr's and nurses who push their agendas and dont pay attention to women. i certainty support where ever women want to birth.


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## hazelmama (Nov 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *seraphim0517* 
I'd recommend the reading that others suggested. And the fact that nationwide we are looking at 30% c-section rates, over 50% induced or augmented labors, and terrible morbidity and mortality rates for hospital births. Statistically home birth is as safe or safer for low-risk women, and some that are thought of as high-risk as well. One of the factors contributing to those stat's is the prevalence of unneeded interventions. Continuos EFM has only been shown to raise c-section rates, not improve outcomes. Pitocin causes fetal distress, and blood pressure issues for mom, but is still handed out like candy. Epiduals have many risks and force you to labor in a counter-produtive posisition. Multiple VE's increase the risk of infection yet tell you nothing, but they are still routine. AROM risks cord prolapse, infection, and increased risk of fetal distress, but is still done routinely. Cyotec is still being used to induce labor, even though it can cause uterine rupture, and is not approved for that use. Then you have the hospital policies that are based on nothing more than turn over. If your water is broken x hours you must have a c-section, or pit. If you don't dilate 1 cm an hour (or 2) you have "failure to progress" and must consent to x intervention. Which failing that standard means nothing, just that you don't fit their definition of normal. Policies against vbac even though evidence shows that it is safer for most mothers and babies. Routine c-sections for twins, breech, and in some places just posterior presentation. Then the number of times invasive procedures are done without the womans concent and even after refusing it. Birth rape a trauma are not infrequent at all, and all cause emotional damage, some very serious physical damage. I know a woman who while shouting no, had a Dr. pull out her uterus while trying to manually remove the placenta, there was no reason for that to be done it was moments after birth, and she was not hemmorraging. I'm realizing that I have left a lot off this list, but this at least gives you an idea of some of the things we are trying to avoid. I know at home there are some risks, but knowing the risks that the hospital carrys I am happy to choose homebirth.
Then on top of all of that is the emotional side, some people can relax and have a good hospital birth, I can't. It panics me and makes labor much more exhausting and painful. I also don't think that pregnancy and birth are an illness, there is no way I would go to the hospital if I wasn't sick. So now I give birth at home. Maybe that helps? I'm glad you were pleased with your experience, but I see the opposite way. When homebirth is such a good option why would anyone go to the hospital?
(sorry about any spelling mistakes, spellcheck isn't working)
ETA: *I know all these things don't happen to everyone who chooses to birth in a hospital, but the fact that they occur so frequently should give anyone pause.*









This post really sums up my feelings about why I choose a homebirth instead of going the hospital route, especially the part I embolded.


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## alison_in_oh (Nov 23, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GAjenn* 
I just don't understand home birthing and I guess am looking for more information that might make me feel different????? I read a lot of negative comments about hospitals and doctors. I would also be scared that something might go wrong that could be treated at a hospital.

There is a risk that, birthing at home, you might have an extremely rare complication that could only be handled if you were already in the hospital. But there is also a risk that, birthing in a hospital, you might have an extremely *common* complication *caused* by being in the hospital -- something like, say, a large abdominal wound?

From my perspective these risks are pretty much an even wash. So other factors weigh in to the home vs. hospital decision. Things like being physically and emotionally comfortable in your birthing place. I ended up deciding that it was most important to my emotional security that I birth where my *husband* was comfortable, so I have had two (very good) hospital births. But I understand, and even desire, a home birth, and fully support the need to make it an accepted option for mothers who want one!

BTW, I did have the mythical unhindered hospital second stage.







It looked like this. Arrived in the triage unit and my water broke. The fetal ejection reflex took over and my body began pushing. First contraction: leaning on the triage bed. Pause: climbed onto the bed and on all fours. Second contraction: buried my head in the pillow and opened my body as the bed was wheeled down the hall to an L&D room. Pause: reached down and felt my baby's head. Prepared to support my perineum with the next push, until my husband let me know he was ready to catch. Third contraction: My husband murmured reassurances and cradled our baby gently into the world. No meds, no monitors, no obstetricians or midwives, no interaction with the nurses. Just doing what I needed to do to birth my baby.









So, next one maybe we can stay home and skip the annoying two day stay afterward.


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## annekh23 (Nov 1, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sophieslion* 
I have read some crazy things, my hospital birth was undirected, I was free to move in what ever position I wanted, I was eating toast and drinking hot chocolate during labor, I was allowed anything I wanted from birthing balls, blankets, food, music, water...whatever! I was not monitered, I had one midwife with me the whole time, no Drs, nurses etc. They gave no eye drops and no vaxinations. My midwife gave me a massage as I (stood) and pushed. We talked about her children and how old they were and laughed about her labors. When it got too much I asked for an epidural and she said 'No Sophie...you CAN do this, you know you can!' that was all I needed and I had a med free, Iv free, moniter free birth, the lights were dimmed and there were no bleeping machines. I then cuddled/nursed my baby for as long as I wanted-undisturbed (except for more hot chocolate being delivered







) I was allowed to leave when ever I wanted (we were discharged after 4 hrs)

I am not against home births in the slightest but I have to say hospital births can be natural, calm beautiful experiences too

This was all in England...maybe its different !?

The food thing is a huge difference between the US and the UK, I've had two babies in the UK and am now living in the US and expecting a 3rd. I've seen the food thing mentioned in a couple of books I've read, they'll use the example of the UK and the fact that there are no reported cases of mothers aspirating vomit during an emergency c-section in the last however many years to illustrate the flaws in the widespread belief in the US that this is a problem. One huge problem in the UK is not getting to choose your doctor or midwife, and that it's not common even when you have a named midwife for it to be that midwife that attends the birth, I think this has one positive effect though, that choice is much much more accepted, you don't choose a provider based on having roughly the same views as them, but each one is supposed to offer choice, it doesn't always work out in practice.


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## Say (Feb 19, 2009)

My DD was born 10 days late, was posterior, and I was in labour for 84 hours. In a hospital (with an OB) I would have been induced and I would have had a C-section for failure to progress (the section rates in my home city are between 29 and 32%). If I didn't know any better, I would have thought that all was very well and normal. If I didn't know better, I might have been disappointed but okay with all that, and thought that the events of my daughter's birth were simply out of my control.

Instead, I had her at home with a midwife. It was long, it was hard, but I have wonderful memories of my experience and her birth, and I was up on my feet feeling terrific (albeit tired) immediately afterward.


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## savvybabygrace (Feb 15, 2007)

Well, all I can say is good for you for having a positive experience in the hospital.

Others, including me, have not been so lucky. Just because you had a good experience does not mean that everyone has. In fact, many of us (again, me included) have had terrible experiences that have left us feeling violated and stripped of all power or control.

There are lots (okay, most of us on here I'd wager) of us who believe that home is the safest, most wonderful atmosphere to labor and birth our babes. Not to mention that birth in hospitals is a huge *business*. Money is involved in all decision making. Some of us would rather put our trust into homebirth midwives - or ourselves - knowing that no one is going to make any decisions based on fear of malpractice. At home, no one is going to augment our labors in order to clear a bed or make room for the next birthing woman. And at home no one is going to strap us down, put wires and needles and unnecessary contraptions all over us.

Simpy put, at home we know that we won't be rushed, but will be able to birth on our own time, in our own ways.


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## *MamaJen* (Apr 24, 2007)

I'm noticing that a lot of people who are saying they had a good hospital birth were attended by a midwife. There aren't a lot of cities where midwives have hospital privileges.


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## christyc (Mar 22, 2006)

There are NO midwives with privileges at any of our local hospitals. At all.


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## hollycat (Aug 13, 2008)

i also had beyond amazing hospital experiences and i love when people both have great hospital births AND great home births and any other kind of births they want.

i dont really love the "we're mdc, we're supposed to hate hospital" mindset. what id love is the "we're mdc, we're pro any kind of great birth or supporting the mama's birth choice" mindset. the birth trauma board has as homebirth trauma as well has hospital trauma.


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## Ceinwen (Jul 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *christyc* 
There are NO midwives with privileges at any of our local hospitals. At all.

That's awful.

I'm in Ontario where midwives have full hospital privledges. I had my first dd in the hospital, attended by a midwife. It was much the way many described here: it was dark, warm, quiet, I was in and out of the shower. No one came to bother us, my dh held my hand and supported me. My mother was there with cold cloths and drinks. I delivered in a squat position.

However, with all that wonderful stuff I still ended up with a fourth degree tear. I would labour another 48 hours than go through that again. So for me, I'm glad I was in the hospital. I had a large hematoma and started to bleed out. It was a three hour repair in the OR (my midwife stayed with me the entire time, babe was with dh) and then an eight day hospital stay.

Part of me still wishes it had been a homebirth - wanna know why? For my street creds.







I'd just love to be able to say I'd birthed at home.

I'll never get the chance because dd2 was a c-section, and she's my last one. You can bet I have some pretty vivid fantasies about a home water birth though. Hmmm, maybe one day after all!


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## JFTB1177 (Sep 9, 2008)

Some women have great hospital birth experiences (and I'm jealous of them!)







, but mine was not good at all. I was pushed into all sorts of interventions which led me to be induced too early, they broke my waters without asking, had an epi too early (was not educated about stuff then) and ended up with a C-section, totally unnecessary. My L&D nurse was divine, but a lot of my nurses during my stay (recovering from surgery) were horrible... they were mean to me and once when I asked if they could take my son to the nursery (because I was totally drugged up and literally couldn't care for him) the nurse grabbed him and went screaming down the hall "She doesn't want her baby!" which was so far from the truth- I was drugged, in a tremendous amount of pain, alone (DH had to work), and crying hysterically. There weren't private rooms, and on the 2nd day I was there a lady gave birth at like 3 a.m. and they put her in the room with me... her whole family showed up with pizza, kids, they turned on cartoons on her tv, etc. I was furious. When I complained to the staff they just said to be more understanding b/c she just had a baby! The whole stay was a NIGHTMARE!

So I guess to answer your question, not all of us have good experiences at hospitals (and the one I went to actually has a good reputation!). I am planning a HBAC this time (due any day now) because I know if I go back to a hospital they will not let me VBAC and will just cut me open. So I don't really have a choice unless I'm okay with another C-section (I'm not). Plus after meeting other homebirthing moms, it really seems so natural and beautiful (and let me tell you I am not a "crunchy" person- not that there's anything wrong with that of course!).

HTH!


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## GAjenn (Jan 28, 2009)

WOW, I am new to posting so I had no idea what I was starting. With that being said, I also express myself much better in person. I tried to keep the title short, because I don't like when you hover over the threads with your mouse and can't tell what they are. In doing so, I think maybe my question was taken the wrong way. Or maybe some of you are so used to having to defend yourselves, that it is the automatic response.
There are many things in life that I have researched, discussed, prayed on, and am opinionated about; birthing is not one of them. In my great hospital bag that I mentioned earlier was a copy of Mothering mag, and I was hooked. It is not your normal mag that treats you like an idiot with the standard milestone and belly fat blah, blah, blah. While I have found that I do not agree with some things, at least the articles are well written and thought provoking. Some of them really hit home with my instincts as a mother that I have struggled with because the "rules" say otherwise-- Co sleeping, breastfeeding, ECing, love the support! I won't go into the things I am not so sure about as to not get off subject.

Now that I have been reading for several months, I thought I would try the website. I find it has allowed me some of the intellectual stimulation that I miss from being around other adults at work. I used to discuss politics, religion, current affairs and now I find when I am out it is with other Moms that I barely know. "How cute is that dress" and poop stories are the main topics. I think in time this will get better in time.

After reading all of your replies I am saddened by some of your hospital experiences. Disrespect from doctors and nurses, unwanted meds, sharing of rooms, and that is just a small part. I think if I faced what some of you have, I would be passionate about home birthing as well. I just wish that home birth articles and posts were more about being positive about that experience and less about generalizations about horrible hospitals and doctors.
My doctor gave us different decisions to make and then met with us and asked what I wanted. Our hospital was more like a 5 star hotel room with great food. Maybe it is a difference in a smaller town compared to a big city? I have been meaning to contact my Doctor and see if she wants to meet for lunch; she loves to hold my baby that she helped bring into the world. She says that "the job of the hospital to take good care of you so you can relax and take good care of your baby".
I do plan on reading some of your suggestions and hope that all of you get the birth experiences you wish for without looking down upon those of us who like our hospital births.


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## barefootpoetry (Jul 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GAjenn* 
After reading all of your replies I am saddened by some of your hospital experiences. Disrespect from doctors and nurses, unwanted meds, sharing of rooms, and that is just a small part. I think if I faced what some of you have, I would be passionate about home birthing as well. I just wish that home birth articles and posts were more about being positive about that experience and less about generalizations about horrible hospitals and doctors.

The thing, though, is that the horrible hospitals is what led many of us to be so passionate about homebirth. I am fairly certain if I hadn't had such a bad experience birthing my first, I might never have even delved into this world. So, although not all hospitals are evil and not all doctors are butchers, many of them are, and many of US have been thrown under the bus by them. So those experiences as well as our good homebirth experiences are not exclusive of each other, KWIM?

I didn't think you were being judgemental at all in your OP. You just honestly didn't know, and worded it in a way that was easily misconstrued. I'm glad you're here on MDC, this site is such a wealth of great information!


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## herbanmama (Jun 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GAjenn* 
After reading all of your replies I am saddened by some of your hospital experiences. Disrespect from doctors and nurses, unwanted meds, sharing of rooms, and that is just a small part. I think if I faced what some of you have, I would be passionate about home birthing as well. I just wish that home birth articles and posts were more about being positive about that experience and less about generalizations about horrible hospitals and doctors.

I was passionate about homebirth and have never had a hospital birth myself, and was passionate enough about it that I decided on having a homebirth 5 years before I ever found myself pregnant. I am passionate about women reclaiming their power and directing their fate, experiencing life to the fullest. I am passionate about bringing new life into the wold in a loving and gentle manner. I am passionate about respecting the primal nature of body and mind by birthing in my own environment, embraced by familiar scents, surroundings, and the select chosen few whom will accompany along my labor journey. I am passionate about having my choices and needs respected and catered to while engaging in the difficult yet exhilarating work that childbirth is.

When it comes down to it, I believe that hospitals are for sick and injured people and that pregnancy and birth are neither illness or injury. I would believe this if every woman on MDC and every client I assisted had an amazing self-directed labor, birth, and postpartum period in the hospital. However, the fact that VERY FEW women I know or have even heard about have satisfactory hospital experiences...

Which is why an automatic comparison between the homebirth and hospital birth inevitably begins. These aren't negative generalizations about OBs and hospital policy. Maternity care in the USA is in a state of CRISIS. It has been for a long time, and doesn't seem to be getting better. In my city, I'd say you have a 4-5 out of 10 chance of surgical birth. I can't help but include what I know about hospital birth through research and have witnessed firsthand when asked "Why Homebirth?". Today's obstetric practices have earned their reputation at the expense of many women and babies, and certainly deserving of a harsh critique.

Quote:

I do plan on reading some of your suggestions and hope that all of you get the birth experiences you wish for without looking down upon those of us who like our hospital births.
I don't look down on anyone who likes their hospital birth. As a woman and as a doula, I trust that women are intelligent enough to make their own decisions. They may not be the decisions I would make, but if you are informed and educated and make decisions based on information/education combined with the strength of your own convictions and not the influence of others/desire to please, then I applaud you. Unfortunately, many people research buying a new car more than they do birthing options - not saying that this is you or anyone else in this thread - but I know plenty of people who approach their birth as such. And you know what? That is also their decision to prioritize in such a way and I have no business criticizing them for that either. However, when someone relates their birth story, tells me about their huge episiotomy, how thirsty they were the whole time, and how annoying and pushy their nurse was, them proceeds to say that the birth was 'awesome', I can't help but raise an eyebrow.

Again - not saying that this was your experience or anyone who has posted their experience on this thread. I am happy and hopeful to see such positive hospital stories.


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## nutritionistmom (Jun 16, 2007)

I home birthed my second baby out of sheer laziness.







I had a great hospital birth with ods. I birthed with mw and was home 5 hrs after ods was born. We planned to hospital birth with mw again the second time around, but about halfway through the pregnancy I got thinking, "Do I really want to have to go to the hospital in the middle labour again?" I'd always said after ods that if I'd known things would go the way they did with him, I'd have just stayed home. So the second time around I did.


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## zak (Mar 6, 2005)

GAJenn, I'm glad you had a positive hospital birth. It's very rare in our area.







Not only that, HBMWs are kind of hard to come by on the south side of ATL.

I'm a non-hospital birth-er.














But I don't look down on your birth or birthing choices in the least. I'm glad you were able to have an amazing birth in a hospital setting.


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## SublimeBirthGirl (Sep 9, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
DS2 was 12 days late. After months of fighting (which a pregnant and/or labouring woman should not have to do - _especially_ with people who are supposed to be providing "care"), and weeks of very strong pressure, I gave up on my VBA2C. (Boy - do some of my early "no way in hell" pronouncements on here come back to haunt me.)

When did I give up? When my OB said, "if you don't have the c-section tomorrow, I'll withdraw from your case". Yeah. I just loooooove "giving birth" in a hospital. Blech.

He could not have legally dropped you so late in your pregnancy. I hope you filed a complaint against the lying idiot.


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## SublimeBirthGirl (Sep 9, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nutritionistmom* 
I home birthed my second baby out of sheer laziness.









That may be my favorite reason for home birthing ever. lol


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## flower01 (Aug 1, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GAjenn* 
d

I just wish that home birth articles and posts were more about being positive about that experience and less about generalizations about horrible hospitals and doctors.

I have to say that if you keep reading Mothering, you will find many more positive homebirth stories than hospital bashing ones. I think Mothering does a really good job of praising all the wonderful things about homebirth and pointing out the problems of medicalized births, while still respecting the woman's choices & outcomes. The first Mothering issue I bought was Jan-Feb 07 (famous for it's babywearing article) - that issue was great for me and my husband because it had two great homebirthing articles written by Dads! no hospital bashing, just great articles about two Dad's experiences - it totally sold my DH!


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## herbanmama (Jun 10, 2005)

I just never thought that pointing out the flaws in a system was 'bashing'.









The beauty of homebirth aside, the medical establishment does present an argument for homebirth within itself. I don't think that there is anything wrong with acknowledging that. And it's certainly not an indictment against any woman who chooses hospital birth for whatever reason.


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## Romana (Mar 3, 2006)

I had a "great" 30 min (well, 30 min after I arrived at the hospital - it was a 21 hour labor) birth at a hospital with a doctor who was so crunchy and pro-NCB he also attended homebirths. Even so, I was put on my back to push, yelled at to purple push to a count of 10 despite there being no problem with the baby and pushing going quickly, and basically ignored when there was inadequate local to stitch up my 2nd degree tear without a lot of pain & suffering on my part. I shudder to think what the birth would have been like had I arrived earlier in the labor.

There's more from the post-partum stay, too.

I think all women would benefit from hospital birth being better, but institutional change is difficult and slow in coming. If you (or anyone else) was able to have a great hospital birth, that's wonderful. Unfortunately, many women aren't respected during birth and have awful experiences in the hospital - it's probably the most common reason women choose homebirth. Why would women be seeking something different if their hospital experiences were good? Well, I don't think they would be.


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## Bellabaz (Feb 27, 2008)

That is so wonderful that your hosptal experience was positive and nuturing! But I would have to venture that it is the exception, at least in teh US. Many women who have a hospital birth, even if they didn't mind it do not necessarily find it as fantastic as yours. Plus some people just feel that birth doesn't need to be medically managed, taht it is a natural process that can happen as part of a normal life span and only needs assistance in cases of complications.


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## PassionateWriter (Feb 27, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GAjenn* 
I just wish that home birth articles and posts were more about being positive about that experience and less about generalizations about horrible hospitals and doctors.

the thing about my first births, though...is that it led me to become more educated about birth. w/ my first son, i thought i read all that i needed to about becoming a mother but for some reason, no one really told me to read about birth...and i guess i was a bit too dense to figure that out for myself. hence, my first c/s, in a small town hospital. same thing the 2nd birth, except in a very prestigious big city hospital. 3d time around it clicked and i started researching. i would have never had my vba2cs with ds3 and my hba2cs w/ ds4 if i hadnt had my dreadful c/s's with sons 1&2. it took my horrible hospital births to open my eyes to the simplicity, beauty and absolute bliss of my home birth (though my home birth was 18 years after my first c/s).


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## ericswifey27 (Feb 12, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sk8ermaiden* 
I am glad you loved your birth experience though! *The best outcome we could ever have in this country is for moms to have positive births no matter where they are birthing.* There are many moms on here who are for homebirth because of their horrible, awful, sometimes criminal experiences during their hospital births. This is my first and I choose not to take that risk.

Yes! What if the tables were turned and someone was able to take your beautiful birth experience away by forcing a homebirth that you didn't want on you or refusing to cover hospital birth while covering only a homebirth? Now reverse it and you'll see what many moms here have faced.

It's all about choice. More choice= more beautiful birth experiences for more people.


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