# Just found out our baby has died.



## an_evans (Dec 1, 2005)

Well I am home for the ultrasound. She confirmed what I must have already known.

I don't want to have to tell Alaina and Jayden. Already we have talked about names and what their special job will be at the birth. They are so excited.

I really though at 12 weeks we were past the point of worry. I had strong symptoms and was taking good care of myself.

Two nights ago I had a dream that Elisha had died/ or was dying. We were planning his funeral but then had decided to make the final decisions after he passed. I realize now that it wasn't Elsiha but this baby.

I don't want to go through the physical process of delivering this baby. I don't want to see my partially formed baby. I want it to be over...to never have happened.

I don't want to take back our news to those who celebrated with us and don't want to hear that is for the best for all those who thought we were foolish to have another child.


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## Jasmyn's Mum (May 24, 2004)

Mama I'm so sorry. Give yourself time to grieve and heal. You don't have to tell anyone right away. Find all the support you can and really call it in. Sending you a thought and a prayer.


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## celestialdreamer (Nov 18, 2004)

So sorry to hear of your loss


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## ankh (Feb 23, 2005)

didn't want to read and not post, I'm so sorry for your loss.


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## iris0110 (Aug 26, 2003)

I am so sorry for your loss.


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## AngelBee (Sep 8, 2004)

I am so very sorry


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## broodymama (May 3, 2004)

I am so very sorry for your loss.







s


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## daekini (Jun 17, 2004)




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## UrbanEarthMom (Jul 20, 2004)

I am so sorry for your loss









There is an extra cruelty of a missed miscarriage - I too felt "safe" after 12 weeks but then got the shocking terrible news.

I wanted to still be pregnant - I was attached to the baby even though it was dead inside of me.

Take care of yourself during this difficult time.

Mary


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## Jennbee (Apr 30, 2005)

Very sad and sorry about you and your family's loss.


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## thorn (Dec 28, 2004)

I am so sorry


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## Barcino (Aug 25, 2004)

so sorry mama


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## beemama (Mar 19, 2004)

take some time before you worry about how to tell people. I know that was a really hard part for me, it really seemed to compound the grieving process.
So sorry, mama. You & your family are in my thoughts.
Take care, Kelly


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## Naughty Dingo (May 23, 2004)

Oh Mama, what a sad thing. I am so sorry that this has happened. Though a miscarriage is a painful and sad thing, your love will bring beauty and honor into the birth of this baby when it happens.

Be gentle with yourself and give yourself the time and space to process it all.

Take care, ND


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## mimi_n_tre (Jun 15, 2005)

I am so sorry for your loss. So many of us have gone through these losses and it just is a horrible thing for anyone to have to go through.

I had a miscarriage in January of last year and got pregnant the next month. I didn't want to tell anyone until I had at least seen the heartbeat which I did at 8 weeks. So I told everyone. It sucked. I got to 26 1/2 weeks and felt him move quite a lot Saturday night and one really big kick... Little did I know that it would be his last. Here I am again, now 14 weeks, getting pregnant a month after the birth of my stillborn son.

I also knew in a way, but had kept hoping that it was maybe just some "thing" but I knew. I went to the hospital three weeks later to prove to myself and my husband that he was in fact gone. We didn't even get to know if he was a boy or a girl before I gave birth to him. It would have been nice to know so I would have had something prepared for him when I delivered. I kept him in me for three weeks before going to the hospital to be induced. I miss him so much.

It did cause a lot of pain for myself and mostly my husband to see our baby born dead. I wouldn't change it for the world though. Everyone is different, but I wanted to see the baby that we had created.

I wish you the very best at getting through such a hard time.

Love, Mary

One last thing, who cares what everyone else thinks. Some people are so insensitive, and don't know what it is like unless they have been in your shoes...


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## dziejen (May 23, 2004)

Oh Mama,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. It is so hard to lose a baby. It is so unfair. Remember there are a lot of moms here who can understand things that you are feeling so we are here for support whenever you need to post -- it's just so unfortunate we all have something so sad in common.







Take care of yourself.


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## Artemisia (Aug 21, 2002)

I am so very sorry for your loss!!! My thoughts and prayers are with you!


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## coralsmom (Apr 1, 2005)

i just wanted to tell you how sorry i am for you. i found out a few days ago that we lost our baby, too. it's sad for me to say i can honestly feel what you are going through now. if you want to, you can pm me.

i agree with mary, some people are so insensitive, and they will NEVER 'get it', they can never understand what you are feeling or experiencing. other people want to be helpful, but will say things that are the worst things to say... 'it better this way'. (please...) even though sometimes these very people are our family and friends, i think its important to really void out their unsupportive words and actions. you know how important your baby is to you, and how hard it is to lose this baby. if you stay true to those feelings, the anger and doubt and defensivness brought on by people who don't 'get it' won't be able to prevent you from going through your loss in the healthiest way possible, and to greive that loss too.

a lot of what i am feeling after losing my baby this week is the emptiness without the baby, of course, but also an emptiness from having to go through such a sadness by myself, because some people, friends, mostly, wouldn't understand, and i don't want to have to explain ONE freaking word. this makes me even sadder, that a person suffering a loss of a baby has to censor their experience due to the insensitivity of others. i am sorry i am rambling, but i am right in the midst of so many emotions now.

my thoughts are really with you now, and i am wishing you strength and peace.


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## mama4gals (Nov 15, 2003)

I am so very sorry that your baby has died. I have to say that seeing my tiny dead baby (13wks) w/ my 1st m/c was a very healing experience. The last 3 m/c's were early enough that I couldn't see anything recognizable as a baby. But that 1st one, everything was going along fine (I thought) until my water broke one am, and 24 hrs later the baby came. We brought the "stuff" in a container to the hosp., and told them we wanted our baby back to bury it. The next day at home, I opened up the little box they had put him in, and I was utterly amazed at the perfectly formed little boy (we think), about 3-4 inches long. As painful as it was, it was also cathartic.

The grieving is inevitable. My heart goes out to you. Allow people to support you, knowing that even if they say the "wrong" thing, they are trying to be helpful and kind. Let them know they don't have to try to make it better, but just to be with you and love you. Peace to you and your family during this dark time.

Liz


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## Gray's Mommy (Jul 8, 2005)

Oohh sweetie, I am so sorry for the loss of your baby and your future dreams. I am currently in the process of miscarrying our little babe-we have a blighted ovum & found out at 13 weeks. I am now in week 17 & even after an induction, no full m/c to date. Our 5 year old was with us when we had our 1st sonogram, so we had to tell him right then & there.

There are lots of us for you to lean on right now. We'll keep you in our prayers & keeps us updated on how you are doing.







to you & your little babe.

mary


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## Darcy37 (Oct 25, 2004)

You could have your husband tell the family so that you dont have to hurt more than you already are and dont have to answer any questions.(((((HUGS))))


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## babybugmama (Apr 7, 2003)

I am so terribly sorry


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## RivieraMom (Jun 14, 2005)

I'm so terribly sorry, Mama. I am sad to say that I am yet another Mama who has just (Wed) delivered a much-wanted baby at 18wks. Be gentle with yourself, everyone manages this process in their own way. Give yourself and your family time to figure out what's the best way for you. Know that most pple, even when they say "stupid" things, are pained by your loss and want to do something to help. You can PM me if you want support from someone who's right there with you.

Hugs to you.


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## sarie (Jul 7, 2005)

I am so sorry.


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## HoosierDiaperinMama (Sep 23, 2003)

I'm very sorry for your loss, mama.







Please know that you're in my thoughts and prayers.







s








baby


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## mumof4 (Aug 12, 2004)

Mama I am grieving with you. I lost my baby last week at 12 weeks. I feel very alone eventhough everyone knows nobody knows how to make me feel better, not even dh. We had not told a sole that i was pregnant yet which is kinda a downside i think now as we had alot of explaining to do and nobody knows what to say. Hang in there my prayers go out to you and all the moma's who feel like the pain I do.


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## Brinda (Oct 28, 2005)

I'm so sorry for you all, big hugs.


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