# Is your son's foreskin examined as part of his yearly check-up/physical?



## camillabien (Jun 8, 2015)

If so, how old is he and what exactly does your pediatrician do? For my sons, she checks if it's still adhered (she never forcibly retracts, don't worry) and once it isn't, she gives it a quick pull-back.


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## LiLStar (Jul 7, 2006)

No. 3 boys, started going to our pediatrician when the oldest was 1. She has not manipulated any of their foreskins at any visit, for any reason. Nothing more than checking for descended testicles, regardless of age or ability to retract. It has never even been discussed. I never told her not to, and she never did.

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## blessedwithboys (Dec 8, 2004)

camillabien said:


> she gives it a quick pull-back.


What the hell for?


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## joandsarah77 (Jul 5, 2005)

No, children deserve the same level of privacy that adults do. Do your daughter's drop their pants for the DR?
Over here the DR (only people whose children have ongoing long term health issues see pediatricians) check for groin hernia for the first 12 months, after that there is no need for them to see the nappy/diaper area unless you are going in with an issue in that area. I would never allow my son's foreskin to be examined and if some DR asked him to drop his pants I would ask why and tell my son that he has every right to say no. The Dr has as much need to check for adhesion of your son's foreskin as they do of checking your daughters hymen-none.

A 'quick pull back' I'd consider that to be sexual assault.


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## chickabiddy (Jan 30, 2004)

joandsarah77 said:


> No, children deserve the same level of privacy that adults do. Do your daughter's drop their pants for the DR?


I saw this in the recent posts scroll.

My daughter does "drop her pants" for her doctor, and so do I.


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## joandsarah77 (Jul 5, 2005)

You expect to drop your pants at any well check up? The only time my daughter dropped her pants was for school sores on her bottom.


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## chickabiddy (Jan 30, 2004)

We've seen two doctors and one NP at this family practice, and they do a quick visual check on my daughter at her well-child check. They do the standard well-woman exam on me at my yearly visit. I'm not quite sure when they'll start doing a well-woman exam on her -- I think age 18 or if she wants birth control sooner than that.

I know this is OT and I apologize, but girls and women do get genital exams and while it's not exactly pleasant I don't think it's an invasion of privacy.


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## joandsarah77 (Jul 5, 2005)

Well things vary by country I guess. What are they checking for on your daughter? As far as I know no one checked my daughter down there past infancy. Even the DR who checked her for school sores only looked at her bottom.


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## japonica (May 26, 2005)

joandsarah77 said:


> Well things vary by country I guess. What are they checking for on your daughter? As far as I know no one checked my daughter down there past infancy. Even the DR who checked her for school sores only looked at her bottom.


I was going to mention that there was a double standard when we saw that GP once (since switched doctors), who did an exam on both kids as new patients, but only asked that my son drop his pants for an exam and the same request wasn't made for my daughter. That did make me uneasy (that he seemed fixated on my son's state of affairs in that area) and we never did return to that doctor.


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## joandsarah77 (Jul 5, 2005)

That's why I mentioned it, again I am only going by reading years of posts on these kinds of boards. I only have posts to go by since I am not American and nobody here checks my children. I think a cough test use to be done at 12 on boys but even that isn't done anymore I believe. My son is 11 and my daughter is 14. I see people saying their DR has a double standard between girls and boys. It seems it's normal to ask permission first for girls but boys often no permission is asked for. There is a slight difference between a DR who checks all children regardless of gender and only boys. The first probably is just checking to check (still don't think it's needed) with the second I would guess they are thinking about foreskin retraction, which is what would make me nervous.


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## chickabiddy (Jan 30, 2004)

I haven't been in the room with her for the past couple of years, but from what I remember, it's a quick check (not intrusive) just to make sure everything looks normal. I'm pretty sure that around here, at least, both boys and girls get looked at. I don't have a son and haven't asked too many questions of moms of sons so I don't know how foreskins are treated.


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## japonica (May 26, 2005)

See, even that, as professional as the doctor may be, would not sit well with me personally. My daughter is almost 12 and if she required some kind of female health screen, I'd probably tell the current family GP (male, but not the one we had the issues with), that I'll just bring her to the women's clinic the next time I go. It's probably less of a hassle for him too as I'm sure he'd have to have a nurse present for that type of exam and it takes extra time for the appointment.


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## joandsarah77 (Jul 5, 2005)

Me either and I know that my daughter would be mortified if some male Dr wanted to do some kind of quick check down below.


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## chickabiddy (Jan 30, 2004)

This is getting way off-topic, but... I understand preferring a female provider. My daughter and I see a female family practice physician. But while it might be a bit uncomfortable, I hope she wouldn't be "mortified" if, by some quirk of scheduling, she had to see a male physician. I hope that I am guiding her to view her genitals as another part of her body that gets checked over just like the rest of her.


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## japonica (May 26, 2005)

chickabiddy said:


> This is getting way off-topic, but... I understand preferring a female provider. My daughter and I see a female family practice physician. But while it might be a bit uncomfortable, I hope she wouldn't be "mortified" if, by some quirk of scheduling, she had to see a male physician. I hope that I am guiding her to view her genitals as another part of her body that gets checked over just like the rest of her.


I think, aside from gender preferences for that type of exam, the reason for mortification either way with a preteen/teen would be when a doctor asks to check out your genitals when that was not the main reason for the visit. I mean, we were all teens once. Ack! Specific reason for the visit...that's different, sure. But just a routine health check, not really. The last physical I had with my GP as an adult woman, she didn't ask me to consent to that type of exam.

I think it's slightly related to the topic at hand (that the OP posted) in that there seems to be a wide variability re: requests for this type of exam, depedent on the physician. I would wonder why a child (who presumably had this exam for hypospadia or other pathology as an infant) would need to keep getting his penis examined throughout his childhood and teen years if there is no problem and no issues reported whatsoever. Just seems odd.


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## chickabiddy (Jan 30, 2004)

japonica said:


> The last physical I had with my GP as an adult woman, she didn't ask me to consent to that type of exam.


Well, maybe that's part of the difference. My annual physical does include a pelvic and pap (when indicated). It is not the main reason for the visit, but our family practice seems to include the entire body in the standard exam. (This is referring to the annual physical. We don't disrobe for stress tests or infected hangnails.) I don't see a separate GYN unless there is an issue that requires specialist care. I'm sure I could refuse the exam for me or my daughter, but I honestly don't see any reason to.


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## japonica (May 26, 2005)

chickabiddy said:


> Well, maybe that's part of the difference. My annual physical does include a pelvic and pap (when indicated). It is not the main reason for the visit, but our family practice seems to include the entire body in the standard exam. (This is referring to the annual physical. We don't disrobe for stress tests or infected hangnails.) I don't see a separate GYN unless there is an issue that requires specialist care. I'm sure I could refuse the exam for me or my daughter, but I honestly don't see any reason to.


Yeah, I see separate practioners...complicated, but I feel like the GP is good for sinus infections and specialist referrals and I'll go to the women's clinic for the other stuff.

I think the issue for me is consent. My current GP doesn't normally include those exams as part of the standard physical, but is willing to. In any case, she _asks_ what I would prefer. I think a pre-teen, or even an older child, should be able to have the choice to consent to a genital exam (especially when there is no indication for one). My son was told, directed, to drop his pants by that former doctor and I was a bit taken aback. And as mentioned, no similar request was made for my daughter. In any case, I've told both children since then that they have the right to refuse a request like this if they don't feel right about it (ie. there's no obvious reason, no pathology behind it and it's not been asked, but demanded). The kids get taught at school in their health classes about boundaries, consent, body integrity, but it seems like if the person is wearing a white coat, then that goes out the window.


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## chickabiddy (Jan 30, 2004)

I am sure we could refuse the down-there parts of the exam if we wanted to.



japonica said:


> Yeah, I see separate practioners...complicated, but I feel like the GP is good for sinus infections and specialist referrals and I'll go to the women's clinic for the other stuff.
> 
> I think the issue for me is consent. My current GP doesn't normally include those exams as part of the standard physical, but is willing to. In any case, she _asks_ what I would prefer. I think a pre-teen, or even an older child, should be able to have the choice to consent to a genital exam (especially when there is no indication for one). My son was told, directed, to drop his pants by that former doctor and I was a bit taken aback. And as mentioned, no similar request was made for my daughter. In any case, I've told both children since then that they have the right to refuse a request like this if they don't feel right about it (ie. there's no obvious reason, no pathology behind it and it's not been asked, but demanded). The kids get taught at school in their health classes about boundaries, consent, body integrity, but it seems like if the person is wearing a white coat, then that goes out the window.


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## hakunangovi (Feb 15, 2002)

joandsarah77 said:


> Me either and I know that my daughter would be mortified if some male Dr wanted to do some kind of quick check down below.


I was never subjected to any check-ups , as a child, that I remember, until entry into High School (Boys Boarding school). Shortly after arriving, we were all lined up and checked over by the school doctor, including genitals. It was one of the most humiliating experiences of my life. I never endured another one until adulthood, when I needed it for employment reasons.

I do not know if the doctor checked foreskins, but I have a feeling not.

Curiously, when I was younger, I would have felt mortified to be examined by a female doctor, but now I prefer them and my family doctor is female. I find her much more empathetic and easier to talk to.


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## joandsarah77 (Jul 5, 2005)

Same. My first experience of having to strip was when I went into hospital at the age of 12 for a tonsillectomy. What does tonsils have to do with stripping you ask, nothing! The nurse wanted me to strip and have a bath and wanted to check me over first and seemed like she was planning to bath me as well! Goodness knows why and she agreed when I pleaded that I could bath myself. I was horribly embarrassed, all done for no good reason that I can see. If I could go back I would tell my 12 year old self to say no right away but of course I was by myself and terribly intimidated by it all. Hopefully things have changed, well nowadays you get to stay with your kids so I would never allow that to happen to either of my kids.


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## chickabiddy (Jan 30, 2004)

I'm pretty unhappy with the implication that I "allowed" something terrible to happen to my child or that she was traumatized by the doctor's eyes on her. I was present for the exams for many years: I think I stopped going in with her when she was about 12. I consented, and later she consented. I talked to her before and after the exams and she was fine.

The exams were not invasive (for her; I get the standard well-woman exam). I find it completely unremarkable for a doctor to look at the patient's entire body during a physical exam. In the context of this thread, looking is fine, but touching/pulling/etc. is not needed unless there is a real problem.


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## japonica (May 26, 2005)

chickabiddy said:


> I am sure we could refuse the down-there parts of the exam if we wanted to.


Yes, true, as adults. Children are generally taught to respect and obey adults in positions of authority. My son obeyed without question the demand of the doctor that day.

The situation with my son happened quickly, and short of sprinting across the room and pulling the doctor's hand off of him, there was actually no time in that encounter to politely say, "You know, after consideration, we've decided to forego the genital exam you seem keen on giving to my son today, but thanks for that."

Luckily, no harm done for my son. We have a new doctor who respects patients. And it was a learning opportunity for our family on body integrity, consent, and the right to refuse aspects of exams that they feel uncomfortable with. Now if any doctor says, "Drop your pants!" my children know they can ask back, "Why?" and can still decide if they want to proceed or not.

@joandsarah77 ...I empathise with your story. It reminded me of the doctor we had in our small country town when I was growing up. No matter what I went in for as a pre teen, he always asked me remove my shirt so he could "listen to my chest." Even if it was an eye problem, or sinus infection, whatever. I remember the joke going around the town was "Oh, Dr _____? Take off your top so I can check your eyesight." It was pretty well known. But nothing ever came of it. He was a pillar of the community. This was well before many of the new practice standards in place today. I was glad when I moved away at 16 and found a new physician.


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## joandsarah77 (Jul 5, 2005)

chickabiddy we are not implying that. There is a big difference between going into a physical knowing before hand that part of that is a genital check and just suddenly have it happen without consent. A big part of it is the manners of the DR, you can get your chest looked at without manners 'take your shirt off' or with manners "could you lift your shirt up a little please?' My Dr has never told me to remove my top to check my chest, just lift it up enough.


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## Night_Nurse (Nov 23, 2007)

joandsarah77 said:


> You expect to drop your pants at any well check up? The only time my daughter dropped her pants was for school sores on her bottom.


What are school sores? I'm not familiar with that.


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## Night_Nurse (Nov 23, 2007)

To answer the OP's question, no, the doctor has never checked my son's foreskin, nor my daughter's genitals, that I remember. My son has had his testicles checked a few times over the years, but that's it. Both of my kids are teens now and we've seen pedis and GP in both TX and TN. My son's pedi in TX was from India originally and was very familiar w/ intactness, so maybe that's why he didn't fuss over it.


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## joandsarah77 (Jul 5, 2005)

Night_Nurse said:


> What are school sores? I'm not familiar with that.


Maybe they aren't called that in the US. Impetigo, but called school sores since kids often spread them around at schools.


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## SofiaDE (Jun 1, 2016)

My son had the exact same ‘problrm’ – a little red and slightly swollen willy. he was also under 12 months when I first saw it. I brought him to our GP who, like yours, recommended that I gently pull the foreskin back at least twice a week in the bath. Also like you, I was uncomfortable with this so, I took him to another GP for a second opinion. The second doctor said that he may need to be circumcised but that there was no hurry. However, I went ahead and made an appointment with prof. Puree in the National Children’s Hospital in Tallaght.
Prof. Puree said the foreskin was slightly too tight but that circumcisn wasn’t necessary. Like my own GP, he recommended pulling back the foreskin twice weekly until my son about 4 years of age – he should then be able to do it himself.
If I were you, I would get a second medical opinion, particularly if you feel uncomfortable pulling your son’s foreskin back yourself (like I did!). We’re not doctor’s here so, for your own peace of mind, get another medical opinion.
It’s nothing to worry about and a lot more common than you think!


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## joandsarah77 (Jul 5, 2005)

SofiaDE said:


> My son had the exact same 'problrm' - a little red and slightly swollen willy. he was also under 12 months when I first saw it. I brought him to our GP who, like yours, recommended that I gently pull the foreskin back at least twice a week in the bath. Also like you, I was uncomfortable with this so, I took him to another GP for a second opinion. The second doctor said that he may need to be circumcised but that there was no hurry. However, I went ahead and made an appointment with prof. Puree in the National Children's Hospital in Tallaght.
> Prof. Puree said the foreskin was slightly too tight but that circumcisn wasn't necessary. Like my own GP, he recommended pulling back the foreskin twice weekly until my son about 4 years of age - he should then be able to do it himself.
> If I were you, I would get a second medical opinion, particularly if you feel uncomfortable pulling your son's foreskin back yourself (like I did!). We're not doctor's here so, for your own peace of mind, get another medical opinion.
> It's nothing to worry about and a lot more common than you think!


Please, please do not pull your sons foreskin back, even a small amount. It's pulling it back that causes the very issues you are trying to prevent. It's very similar to the eyelids, mess with your child's eyelid daily and what will you get? Issues. Foreskin is the same, it needs to be left alone. A slightly read and or swollen foreskin normally means a little separation between the foreskin and glans is occurring, a normal part of being growing up as an intact male, just give a few baths of warm water and baking soda. Separation soreness normally last 1-3 days at a time and boys who are going to retract early tend to get it more.


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## JHardy (Jun 22, 2015)

camillabien said:


> If so, how old is he and what exactly does your pediatrician do? For my sons, she checks if it's still adhered (she never forcibly retracts, don't worry) and once it isn't, she gives it a quick pull-back.


Returning to the initial question: yes, our boys pediatrician will examine their foreskin. She asks if they are able to retract. If they are, she retracts their foreskin only as far as is comfortable and then examines the glans underneath.


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## hakunangovi (Feb 15, 2002)

JHardy said:


> Returning to the initial question: yes, our boys pediatrician will examine their foreskin. She asks if they are able to retract. If they are, she retracts their foreskin only as far as is comfortable and then examines the glans underneath.


What is she looking for in regard to the glans? Or the meatus?


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## Dave RW (Jun 26, 2014)

I grew up in a state which at the time required any high schooler who played sports to have a physical prior to the season which had to be provided by the school district (you could opt out of the district-provided physical if you had an independent one within some period of the beginning of the season). I was a three-sport-a-year guy, and since there typically wasn't a reason for me to otherwise have a physical, I had a number of the school-conducted ones. The genital check was done in groups of four to six, and those of us who were uncircumcised were pulled aside to show that we could retract our foreskins. Since all of us that I knew could, I don't know what the outcome would have been if someone couldn't.


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## JHardy (Jun 22, 2015)

hakunangovi said:


> What is she looking for in regard to the glans? Or the meatus?


It's a physical, so like the rest of the body, it's getting a once-over check-up. So she's looking to see if there's any discharge, lesions, proper hygiene, and to see how retractable the foreskin is, and if there is any discomfort or pain caused by retracting.


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