# Funny kid misunderstandings...



## greenfish (Nov 16, 2007)

I'm in need of some humor and have been (quietly) enjoying the kids' misunderstandings and mispronouncements. I was wondering what stories others folks to help me remember how funny kids are as they try to make sense of the world (since they're not always easy!)

Our girls sing a particular hymn they learned from an older sister, except they sing it: "God is an awesome guy, he went to heaven with no superpowers" And then they stop and say matter of factly, "but God *does* have superpowers." (Trying to understand the resurrection and trinity at 4 is hard!)

My favorite though is what "abracadabra" has become: "aba-to-grabba", emphasis on the "grabba".


----------



## Shayna (Oct 13, 2007)

How funny!

DS loooves Jack Johnson and was trying to make sense of "without you I was broken.." it came out as "I didn't know I was broken.."

I have to stifle myself so as not to hurt his little feelings.


----------



## sakura3 (Nov 16, 2006)

We just had a hilarious one! My younger Dd really loves Christmas carols and kept asking what one particular word meant. Trouble was, I couldn't understand at ALL what she was saying.

After two days of frustrated discussion on the topic, I realized she was saying, _"virus delightful"_, instead of _"the fire is so delightful"_ (from Let it Snow) and she clearly couldn't figure out what *that* meant. I was relieved to have understood but had a very hard time not laughing!










Sakura


----------



## zerby (Mar 28, 2004)

Lol! My DD sings EVERYTHING nowdays, and her last fixation was Baa Baa Black Sheep. Her rendition:

Baa baa black sheep
have you got some wool?
Yea, sure. Yea, sure.
Three bags full.
One for the monster.
One for the day.
And one for the little boy
Who lives in a dream.

I guess she just subbed words that she didn't know with ones that she did, sounding similar of course, but I have images of where the wild things are while she sings it.


----------



## rmzbm (Jul 8, 2005)




----------



## greenfish (Nov 16, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zerby* 
Baa baa black sheep
have you got some wool?
Yea, sure. Yea, sure.
Three bags full.
One for the monster.
One for the day.
And one for the little boy
Who lives in a dream.

Funny! For awhile our girls were singing: "one for the little boy who lives down the drain."

This morning I overheard them singing (a combination of several pop songs):

"Big girls don't cry, like a schoolmate, like Jackson
I need a blankie for my life! Eh heh, this I know."

I suppose when you're little needing a blankie for your life makes sense!


----------



## hubris (Mar 8, 2003)

DS1 is turning 5 and insists that the lyric "I'm walkin' on sunshine" is actually "no more kibble sunshine." I don't even know what that would mean! If I attempt to discuss it with him, he tells me that I'm wrong and that I misheard it.


----------



## greenfish (Nov 16, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hubris* 
DS1 is turning 5 and insists that the lyric "I'm walkin' on sunshine" is actually "no more kibble sunshine." I don't even know what that would mean! If I attempt to discuss it with him, he tells me that I'm wrong and that I misheard it.









"kibble sunshine"?

After correcting "Mary had a little lamb" and then being told to sing it over and over and over again until they'd memorized the words, I've stopped discussing and I just listen! I figure they'll figure it out...and when they get stuck on mastery of a particular song, I don't want then to know I know it


----------



## klosmom (Nov 19, 2007)

"taking care of business" = "taking care of biscuits"
and
"ready, get set, go!" = "ready, cassette, go"


----------



## blue butterfly (Nov 28, 2005)

last weekend we were playing dress up and our oldsest dd ( 4.10 ) was deciding what we would all be and when she came to our youngest she told us dd2 would be a salesman. i couldn't quite figure out what she had in mind to dress her up in, but, whatever. when she came back in the living room with our outfits she put a hat my BIL, who is in the navy, had sent her on dd2s head and said "there, now she's a salesman"!!!

who wouldn't get a sailor and a salesman confused, lol


----------



## ananas (Jun 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zerby* 
L
have you got some wool?
Yea, sure. Yea, sure.
Three bags full.
















h, that is TOO funny!


----------



## ColwynsMommy (Aug 2, 2004)

Two of my favorites lately from my four year old:

For "Nintendo!" he says:
"Cheese Tango!"

And when he sings Lowrider, instead of "Take a little trip and see" he sings:
"Shake a little chimp at sea!"


----------



## mamasgroovin (Nov 27, 2006)

Yesterday dd who will be 3 next week was singing...
Tinkle tinkle little star
How I wonder what you are.
Up above the moon high
Like a diamond in the ty *Makes diamond with fingers*
~That is diamond, Mommy~in spoken voice
Tinkle, tinkle little star
Next time won't you sing with me.


----------



## mamasgroovin (Nov 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ColwynsMommy* 

And when he sings Lowrider, instead of "Take a little trip and see" he sings:
"Shake a little chimp at sea!"

OK. You rock!







Anyone with a 4 y/o who sings Low Rider is OK in my book!


----------



## Kira's mom (Nov 30, 2004)

DD, age 4 says
eenie meenie miney mo
shake a finger by the toe
if it's swollen let it go
eenie meenie miney mo

Also a hebrew blessing over the hanukksh candles the word is vitzyvanu. She was singing shittytanu dh and i really had to hold back the laughter on that one


----------



## flminivanmama (Nov 21, 2001)

one recent funny from my ds, who is almost 8 -

ds (looking at his state quarter collection) : "why does Louisianna have a map of the US on their quarter"
me : " the embossed part is called the 'Louisianna purchase' - it shows all the land the US aquired when they bought it. They bought it from France."
ds : "From France? How did they get it here?"








:


----------



## fruitful womb (Nov 20, 2004)

As I was applying sunscreen on my kids(No we weren't going swimming. I just like their skin protected when we go outside







), I told Ireland,dd to, "Come closer I need to get your forehead". Ds, Jaden 3y at the time, looked at Ireland then he gave me a very serious look and said, "I Don't see 4 heads Mommy." He walked off saying,"I don't even see two heads." Like I was crazy,


----------



## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

guacamole = wack-a-moley

Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap = "done done peach song"


----------



## boysmom2 (Jan 24, 2007)

OK, not exactly a misunderstanding, but I thought it was funny:

We have a Shih Tzu dog named Cougar. About a year ago when DS1 was 4.5he made up a song about our dog,

"Oh, Cougar's a little sh*t...
I'm a sh*t....
You're a sh*t...
He's a sh*t...
Etc., etc......"

He had no idea that he was using an inappropriate word, so I tried my best to stifle my giggles and hope the song would just go away.


----------



## FreeRangeMama (Nov 22, 2001)

My boys are still pretty convinced that a senior citizen is actually a ci-ci-cinnamon.


----------



## Madalyn (Jun 1, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *fruitful womb* 
As I was applying sunscreen on my kids(No we weren't going swimming. I just like their skin protected when we go outside







), I told Ireland,dd to, "Come closer I need to get your forehead". Ds, Jaden 3y at the time, looked at Ireland then he gave me a very serious look and said, "I Don't see 4 heads Mommy." He walked off saying,"I don't even see two heads." Like I was crazy,


----------



## BAU3 (Dec 10, 2001)

My next door neighbors 5 yo was looking in his little bucket of loose change some one had given him and he asked me "how do they make money?" I told him it was made in a place called a mint, etc... he looked at the coins for a moment and said " I'd like to get that recipe".


----------



## dianna11 (Dec 3, 2004)

DD learned Itsy Bitsy Spider when she was about 2 and sang it:
_Its bitsy spider went up water spout
down came the rain and washed the spider out
up came the spider dried up all the rain..._

It always cracked me up thinking about this poor little spider coming out with a mop and bucket every time it rained to dry it all up







:


----------



## greenfish (Nov 16, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *fruitful womb* 
"I Don't see 4 heads Mommy." He walked off saying,"I don't even see two heads." Like I was crazy,









I'm still laughing about this one...!

We put on Christmas carols today and the girls keep hearing "Mary" (as in "Joesph and Mary walked through an orchard good..." or "the first good joy that Mary had it was the joy of one..."). One of the girls' Sunday school teacher's name is Mary so _every_ time they hear "Mary" in the music they shout, "They said 'Mary'! That's my ch-eacher!"







Obviously we're not terribly Christian otherwise they'd have a better education about this...and we find it too funny and cute to correct.


----------



## angie3096 (Apr 4, 2007)

This morning dd (who just turned 5) woke up and said, "Where's daddy?" I said he had to go to work today. She said, "I miss daddy when he goes but I know Daddy has to go to work to make the money." Then she thinks for a minute and says, "How does he make it? I know it's made of metal and paper, but I just don't get how he makes it exactly."


----------



## OakBerry (May 24, 2005)

My ds used to call the water filter in the basement (it's noisy when it backflushes) the "coffee filter".


----------



## MidwifeErika (Jun 30, 2005)

My 3 year old is going to be the ring bearer for my sister's wedding in a few weeks. I didn't realize the kids thought he was going to be a ring BEAR! They thought he would be in a bear costume saying "grrrrrrrr" while jumping through rings. The image they had in their heads cracks me up. He was very disappointed to find out there is no bear costume and only wedding rings to carry.


----------



## Redifer (Nov 25, 2006)

Let's see.. there's AC/DC's "Dirty Deeds", which has been changed into the following by my 3 year old:

"Dirty knees, thunder CHEEKS!" - the images this brings up in my mind... oh boy.

then we have "Party Like a CopStar" .. eventually changed into 'rockstar'

Overall though, I really just like to get her to say big words.
"Hipposmotapus" = hippopotamus
"Prezipultaken" = precipitation
"Beerikul" = spherical

and so on and so forth. It cracks me up.


----------



## momileigh (Oct 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hotwings640* 
My 3 year old is going to be the ring bearer for my sister's wedding in a few weeks. I didn't realize the kids thought he was going to be a ring BEAR! They thought he would be in a bear costume saying "grrrrrrrr" while jumping through rings. The image they had in their heads cracks me up. He was very disappointed to find out there is no bear costume and only wedding rings to carry.

My dd is going to be a "ring bear" too! But she does understand that ring bears carry rings. Unfortunately, she also believes that to be a ring bear, you have to wear a tuxedo. Nothing will convince her otherwise, not even looking at pretty dresses... so come March, my 5-year-old girl will be a ring bear in a tuxedo! (Good thing my sis, the bride, is easy-going!)


----------



## Maiasaura (Aug 12, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zerby* 
I guess she just subbed words that she didn't know with ones that she did, sounding similar of course

when my ds was 5, he was really into this band i used to listen to back in the 80s, and one of the lines went "with your cocaine and your mink". one day i heard him singing along, and realized he was singing "with your cookies and your milk"























his interpretation of "baa baa black sheep" started out:

baa baa black sheep
heavy heavy wool

this thread is hilarious!

pamela


----------



## amcal (Jan 13, 2003)

My DDs sing "Feliz Navidad" as "Felipe Naughty Dog"

I think it's because we used to call our very bad labrador retriever Magpie naughty dog.

Oh and I have two friends who are VERY pregnant. My 5 yo is very curious about how those babies got in there







: So we had a very basic conversation but she kept insisting on more and more details so I told her about eggs and sperm etc.... So, this morning she's clearly been thinking about it and she came to me and said "Mommy, how did daddy's FERN get in your eggs? Did you scramble them?"


----------



## zerby (Mar 28, 2004)

DD latest one was today. She was in her car seat doing this odd motion with her hands.
DD: 5,4,3,2,1 Alaska! (hand movement)
Me: what are you doing?
DD: Curious George is going into space, and before the rocket goes up in the air, they have to tell it 5,4,3,2,1 Alaska. (sigh)
Me: Did they mean blast off?
DD: mommy, thats silly. You know Alaska is far away. The rocket needs to know to go far away, or it would stay home. (sigh)

How could I not know how to properly direct rockets? She is almost 5 and already I have fallen off the learning curve apparently!


----------



## Needle in the Hay (Sep 16, 2006)

"Row row row your boat
gently down the stream
marry me marry me marry me
life is like a dream"

I've enjoyed reading through these. "Felipe Naughty Dog"? Now that's one you don't hear everyday


----------



## HipGal (Aug 16, 2006)

I was explaining to my 3 year old how a bud opens up into a flower. Well, I guess he heard me say a BUG because now he is CONVINCED that a bug comes along and opens up all the petals so the flower can bloom.







Even now that he knows what a bud is, he still insists that a bug is going to come open it up.


----------



## loraxc (Aug 14, 2003)

We've been listening to and singing "Holly Jolly Christmas" around here lately. One of the lines is,

"Oh, ho, the mistletoe
Hung where you can see..."

DD, however, thinks it goes like this:

"Oh, ho, the MISSING TOE,
Hung where you can see..."

I about wet my pants laughing. Merry Christmas, eh? Made me think of the Blair Witch Project.


----------



## Maiasaura (Aug 12, 2002)

oh yeah, i forgot about that one! my ds used to sing "HUM where you can see"!

oh, you guys will die over this one. when he was like....oh...geez, i don't remember. just under two? he wasn't verbal yet. we were at my mom's for christmas, and he kept saying, kind of rhythmically, what sounded like "pitta bow, pitta bow" and it was driving my mom and me up a *wall*. we couldn't figure out what in the world he was trying to say. my mom kept saying it sounded like "pizza balls". so later, i caught him saying "pitta bow...pitta bow...way" and realized he was trying to sing Jingle Bells!!! oh, how my mom and i cracked up....."pizza balls, pizza balls, pizza all the way"....we had tears streaming down our faces, it was so funny. poor ds just laughed hysterically along with us! now ds is almost 7, and it's become this family joke...









oh, and the next year, i got for a gift this giant coffee mug that has a picture of holly on it, and it says "have a holly jolly christmas". i opened it up, and little ds, all excitedly, says "ho ho the mistletoe!!!"









pamela


----------



## FreeRangeMama (Nov 22, 2001)

Okay, I have another one. We were talking about proboscis monkeys in Borneo and the boys were arguing about how many there are left. Proboscis monkeys are the ones with the really big noses who scare away other animals by honking and chasing them with their erect penises. Yup, they are a source of much humor around here. Actually my ds1 is scared of them because they look so unusual.

Anyway, the conversation goes,

ds1: "I don't know if we'd actually see a honking monkey"

ds2: "yeah they are un-dinked cause there are only like 5 or 20 left.


----------



## babycarrier (Apr 2, 2004)

my 5 yo is singing Rudolph the red horse reindeer -

and my 2 yo has been talking about Cera Tops. Of course, as we are stuck on dinosaurs I figured it was triceratops. But he knows how to say that and which one it is. No, it is santa claus.

he met him the other day and he was so happy to go see Cera Tops.

i love language learning


----------



## Jade2561 (Jun 12, 2005)

My 3 yo sings jingle bells like this:

Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingles all the way
oh what fun it is to ride
in a horse and open sleigh!

She just started singing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" the correct way - it used to be "Like a 'gina in the sky" (instead of diamond). I used to crack up thinking about the great vagina in the sky!!!







:


----------



## CorasMama (May 10, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *fruitful womb* 
As I was applying sunscreen on my kids(No we weren't going swimming. I just like their skin protected when we go outside







), I told Ireland,dd to, "Come closer I need to get your forehead". Ds, Jaden 3y at the time, looked at Ireland then he gave me a very serious look and said, "I Don't see 4 heads Mommy." He walked off saying,"I don't even see two heads." Like I was crazy,

















:







:







:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zerby* 
DD latest one was today. She was in her car seat doing this odd motion with her hands.
DD: 5,4,3,2,1 Alaska! (hand movement)
Me: what are you doing?
DD: Curious George is going into space, and before the rocket goes up in the air, they have to tell it 5,4,3,2,1 Alaska. (sigh)
Me: Did they mean blast off?
DD: mommy, thats silly. You know Alaska is far away. The rocket needs to know to go far away, or it would stay home. (sigh)

How could I not know how to properly direct rockets? She is almost 5 and already I have fallen off the learning curve apparently!

Your DD is awesome! Love that critical thinking!


----------



## CorasMama (May 10, 2002)

Oh, and when I was a kid, I choked on an ice cube, so my uncle performed, what I called for years, the *Heimlich Remover!!!*

My parents had a pretty interesting sense of humor, and it cracked them up sufficiently that they didn't correct me for years...


----------



## gwerydd (Jun 7, 2007)

i used to babysit a little girl of about 3 who loved to build a "cat house" our of our throw pillows and coffee tables. my dh once commented to her that he used to build forts when he was little too. she looked at him very seriously and asked "did you build spoons too?"


----------



## Inci (Apr 22, 2005)

This thread is so amazing!!







I love the stories!

And that "'gina in the sky" made me remember a funny one...
A 2-yr-old girl I knew, L, called her brother "Va," because she couldn't pronounce his name yet. During this time period, her mom was teaching her the word "vagina," and L would repeatedly grab her crotch very possessively and say, "No Va! MY 'gina!!" Eventually, her mom figured out that L thought her mom was saying "Va's 'gina," and thus, L was insisting, no, my 'gina is MINE, not Va's!!


----------



## cloudswinger (Jan 24, 2005)

My dd's version of Jingle Bells:

Tinkerbell, tinkerbell,
Tinker all the way
Oh what fun, Oh what fun, weee!

I have no idea where the whees come from. But it's a funny song.


----------



## gabysmom617 (Nov 26, 2005)

:

I just finished reading this entire thread to my husband...and I don't even belong in here...yet..I wonder what whoppers my 2.5 year old will come up with one day....


----------



## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

My favorite from our ds was that he used to say _Farmer John Cheese_ for Parmesean Cheese!


----------



## MPJJJ (Oct 24, 2003)

For the longest time my speech delayed child would pronounce Apple as Aaa-hole. Very embarressing when he would point to a person wearing a red shirt and call them an asshole. I did a LOT of explaining.


----------



## onlyboys (Feb 12, 2004)

My kids ask to go to Chucky Jesus for lunch.







:


----------



## nadia105 (Jul 16, 2003)

This thread has me rolling!

One of the cute one lately is from ds who just turned 3. DH had taught the kids to say grace and it started out 'Come Lord Jesus, be our guest', but comes out 'Come Lord Beezus' that combined with the emphatic nodding is pretty hilarious!


----------



## greenfish (Nov 16, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Inci* 
... During this time period, her mom was teaching her the word "vagina," and L would repeatedly grab her crotch very possessively and say, "No Va! MY 'gina!!" Eventually, her mom figured out that L thought her mom was saying "Va's 'gina," and thus, L was insisting, no, my 'gina is MINE, not Va's!!









Does she lead workshops? I know some folks who could use some of her attitude!


----------



## momileigh (Oct 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *onlyboys* 
My kids ask to go to Chucky Jesus for lunch.







:


----------



## Dov'sMom (Jan 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *onlyboys* 
My kids ask to go to Chucky Jesus for lunch.







:

My Jewish friend's 3-year-old came home from school one day insisting that his mother go out and buy "Jesus crackers." (Cheez-Its)


----------



## grrangela (Oct 23, 2005)

I love this thread! My 5-year-old often launches into these indignant speeches when she's been wronged, and they always begin with, "FIRST A BALL," and of course, later, "second a ball!" Of course, we have to keep straight faces during these monologues, but it's not easy.

Her auntie made her a CD with "All I Want for Christmas is You" by Mariah Carey on it. It contains the line "I'm just gonna keep on waiting underneath the mistletoe." Ruby was singing along yesterday (complete with interpretive dance) and sang "underneath the Christmas toe." While pointing to her toe! I thought I was going to die laughing.


----------



## amyescott (Mar 13, 2007)

We went to McDonald's today to play with cousins, not a place we go very often, so my son, who just turned 3, was so exited to go to "Old McDonalds".
He is calling candy canes "candy cans"
He does not pronounce the letter P well at the beginning of words, so it is:
hickup truck
hopcorn
hopsicle

You get the idea.

This is a great thread!!

Oh, and while he does sing funny words to songs, the best thing he does with songs is sing them in a perfect Bob Dylan voice. Dylan does the ABC song is the best, but Away in a Manger Dylan style is hilarious.


----------



## Ashersmum (Nov 12, 2006)

I'm LMAO here









Ds1 (3 yo) is really into pretending he's something else. Yesterday I went to get him from his room after 'quiet time' and he said, "Mummy Mummy! I turned into something else. I built a raccoon (cocoon) around myself and turned into a butterfly!


----------



## MamaLuvsHerBabies (Sep 23, 2007)

Here's my daughter's version of the GingerBread Man...(she was in 2nd grade)

Run, Run, as 'fat' as you can...
You can't catch me, you're the 'Ginger-Dead' Man.







)


----------



## melamama (Oct 8, 2002)

my dd's excitement as I ordered the Santa Fe Salad, and then her utter confusion (and ours) when it came and it wasn't the "Santa face salad" as she had imagined.


----------



## AlwaysByMySide (May 4, 2007)

DD plays with "Little People". One of her Little People is a caveman. She asked one day what he was called, and I told her he was a caveman.

She calls him K-Fed. (Or that's what it sounds like when it comes out of her mouth.)

Which is funny all by itself. It's even funnier when she's playing with a social worker and tells her all about "her K-Fed." The alarm bells that must've gone off in her head before I told her what she was really talking about....


----------

