# 3 year old won't eat anything remotely healthy.



## mrs.t (May 10, 2010)

My DS used to eat everything, and I mean everything. All vegetables, fruits, meat, fish, dairy, you name it, he ate it. Now he eats yogurt, ice cream, crackers, cookies, and maybe chicken. It's a big maybe lately. I don't give in to his requests for the sweets, and he has to eat something else before he gets a "dessert" but I'm really upset over losing my good eater. Is this just a phase? It's so frustrating to have him eat not a bite of a home cooked dinner, but then scarf down pizza if he gets the chance.


----------



## katelove (Apr 28, 2009)

My 3yo has a much more limited diet than she did a year ago as well. I do think it's a phase.

We have stopped buying/making things that we don't want her to have for the most part. We do treats of course but we don't keep things in the house. If she doesn't want her dinner she can have plain yoghurt.

I'm told, and I really hope it's true, that macro nutrients are more important than micronutrients at this age. So as long as she's getting carbs, fat and protein and not too much sugar then I'm ok. Not thrilled but ok. She sees us growing, shopping for, cooking and enjoying a range of great foods. I'm sure she'll eat most of them eventually.


----------



## mrs.t (May 10, 2010)

Thanks. I've been allowing yogurt or kefir in place of a meal if anything.


----------



## luckiest (Apr 29, 2009)

I do think it's pretty normal for toddlers to start limiting the scope of what they want to eat at some point, but for some kids it's a result of bad gut flora; the line of reasoning being that they have an overgrowth of pathogenic bacteria (like candida, which loves dairy and sugar), and the overgrowth causes intense cravings for sugar and dairy. I just wanted to mention it because anytime I hear of a kid who self-limits to bread, cookies, crackers, cheese and milk, I immediately think candida. Sometimes it's pretty obvious, like the child becomes suddenly super picky right after getting over a stomach bug. The stomach bug disrupted the gut flora, the "bad guys" moved in and took over, and now the child is feeding an overgrowth.

If it were my child, I would keep sugar out of the house entirely and give a really good probiotic and see if that helped at all. For what it's worth, my 2.5 year old was always a phenomenal eater, and while he will still try pretty much everything, he would live solely on bananas and rice if we'd let him.


----------



## FloridaBorn (Nov 28, 2009)

It's a phase. Six months ago my daughter only ate potatoes and chicken nuggets (exaggeration, but that's what it felt like)! But now she can help me with the dinner, rinsing vegetables and putting them in a bowl, little things. The other day she ate pesto roasted cauliflower because she helped make it!! Soups are another way to get in some veggies when they're chopped very fine. Beans and rice are another staple.


----------



## sassyfirechick (Jan 21, 2012)

When DD (20mos) started to push her favorite veggies aside in lieu of potatoes, I just stopped giving her potatoes - until after she ate some other stuff. Then potatoes became more like a snack, or part of a multiple course meal. Some nights she just would rather toss everything to the dogs and nurse in place of solids, which is fine. We never have junk food in the house so she only ever has healthy options, has never had a chicken nugget before and I plan to keep it that way for some time!


----------



## mrs.t (May 10, 2010)

Thanks everyone. I never offer what I consider junk food, but unfortunately I work full time and can't totally control what he eats all day. However, at dinner and snacks I keep it healthy, and sometimes he will choose not to eat at all. I guess that's my concern...I know he isn't going to starve himself but there are nights that he has gone to bed without dinner because he didn't eat what I made. Part of me is fine with this, part of me hates that he didn't eat. He only nurses once at night, so it's not even like I can rely in that to fill in the gaps.


----------



## LLQ1011 (Mar 28, 2012)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *sassyfirechick*
> 
> When DD (20mos) started to push her favorite veggies aside in lieu of potatoes, I just stopped giving her potatoes - until after she ate some other stuff. Then potatoes became more like a snack, or part of a multiple course meal. Some nights she just would rather toss everything to the dogs and nurse in place of solids, which is fine. We never have junk food in the house so she only ever has healthy options, has never had a chicken nugget before and I plan to keep it that way for some time!


my son is eating chicken nuggets right now.... 

I hope this is a phase. But pretty much spaghetti chicken and zuchini are the only thing he is interested in right now.


----------



## mrs.t (May 10, 2010)

This thread makes me feel a lot better!


----------



## tillymonster (May 12, 2011)

Same here. Mine is 3.5 and sometimes she eats ONE BITE of scrambled eggs, other times she won't have anything. When we are out shopping she requests junk food and both me and my DH cave because we are weak!!! We are all trying to stay off gluten so I usually manage GF.

I've tried everything to make food fun. She cooks with me a lot! I ask her to have a bite of meat before we eat any junk. She usually has whole milk yogurt though its like 26 grams of sugar per tiny 6oz cup.

I just keep offering anything I can think of. Pistachios was a welcome surprise! I just have to peel them for her. Carrots with ranch dip (I buy a "natural" one with like 5 ingredients), apples with cheese cut into tiny fun "squares" (you just slice up a cheese stick into 6ths or 8ths, so easy!). But yeah... Most of the time she just refuses.

The part I hate the most is ordering for her at a restaurant and her not even taking a bite. We bring home the leftovers but they usually get thrown out.

So when does this phase end?


----------



## FloridaBorn (Nov 28, 2009)

Tillymonster, have you tried giving your daughter choices when you go out to eat? Not easy when you're GF and looking at the children's menu, but she might eat more if its something she favors.


----------



## sassyfirechick (Jan 21, 2012)

I can't see myself ordering a specific for DD in a restaurant for quite some time. She actually more interested in food that comes from someone else's plate anyways so DH and I make sure to get something she will enjoy too and we share ours with her. She's a bean fanatic so Mexican anything is great for us, and she loves fish, which are pretty much the two things we get if we go out to eat anyways. She's good for a few bites then just gets distracted by everyone coming and going. She has her moments, like tonight where she was shoveling in her quinoa but putting the green beans aside...until I told her they were like peas at which point she began to dissect them for the beans lol. She does lean towards carbs, like me, so I just make sure it's healthy carbs or limit them in the house. I buy things like nut crackers so that we can enjoy the crunch without the wheat. The other surprise I got was seeing how much she LOVES spicy food. I made a one-dish pasta meal that I'd seen online and had put a bit more red pepper flakes than I planned on and when I took a bite it caught me a bit off guard. But DD? She had 3 bowls! So a bit of spice and some nutritional yeast (we're dairy free so it's a sub for parmesan) goes a long way in our house!


----------



## element2012 (Jun 13, 2011)

Rather than start a new thread about my kid not eating anything healthy, I'm just going to jump in on this thread! 

DD is almost 18 months and still barely eats at all, still BF. Lately ALL she will eat are crackers and bread. She used to eat a bite here and there of yogurt, beef and chicken, broccoli, apples... but now nothing. I am offering other foods but she would just not eat anything that day at all if not for crackers. I am ok with her not eating anything and just nursing, but she does ask for crackers so throughout the day she may eat like 5 little wheat thin type crackers and maybe a half a piece of bread. At this point, is this even anything to worry about? Normally I would just not have them in the house, but my MIL is staying with us and she basically lives off them too so it's hard to keep them out of sight and out of mind for DD. Thoughts?


----------



## astromum (Aug 9, 2012)

I feel your pain. My three year old picks at his meals most of the time. Or I'll make him a meal of his choosing, then he doesn't want to eat it! Drives me CRAZY. I know it's a phase, but it's super discouraging. You can't MAKE them eat. Sigh.


----------



## astromum (Aug 9, 2012)

Something I'm noticing too, at least with my three year old, is how much presentation of food matters. For example, he will eat anything from the sample person at Trader Joe's. Stuff he won't eat for me. I ended up buying some little cups and we'll play "Trader Joe's" (lol), and I can get him to eat a few things normally that I couldn't. Also, he wouldn't finish part of his wrap from lunch (even though he had requested it), so I ended up cutting it into three pieces and sticking toothpicks in them and calling them "samples." He ate them up in five minutes. (I carefully supervised him with the toothpicks, of course!).


----------



## tillymonster (May 12, 2011)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *astromum*
> 
> Something I'm noticing too, at least with my three year old, is how much presentation of food matters. For example, he will eat anything from the sample person at Trader Joe's. Stuff he won't eat for me. I ended up buying some little cups and we'll play "Trader Joe's" (lol), and I can get him to eat a few things normally that I couldn't. Also, he wouldn't finish part of his wrap from lunch (even though he had requested it), so I ended up cutting it into three pieces and sticking toothpicks in them and calling them "samples." He ate them up in five minutes. (I carefully supervised him with the toothpicks, of course!).


This is pure GENIUS! Trying this today.

Edit: Didn't work. She's impossible right now.


----------



## BeatleBMarie (Sep 4, 2013)

Hi ladies! I'm new here and I am also having a tremendous amount of trouble getting my 26 month old to eat anything! I've gone by the "she'll eat when she's hungry" theory but in her case she just would rather not eat. I e tried everything and am starting to feel hopeless. Any recommendations on what trick may work? Any advice would be greatly appreciated!


----------



## sassyfirechick (Jan 21, 2012)

My friend had success getting her 3yo little boy to eat green veggies when she made smoothies and called them things like "monster slime" and "ninja turtle goo" lol.


----------



## astromum (Aug 9, 2012)

Aww sorry to hear that Tilly! It's not 100% with mine, either.

Smoothies are a dang gift from (insert deity of choice). Last night I threw cucumber, spinach, a carrot, oats, apples, strawberries and blueberries, and an apple (most everything was frozen!) and he drank all of it. I felt like letting out a villain-esque laugh as I watched him drink it, muahaha!

(although I did put it in a reusable coffee to go cup with the cap on with a straw because 1.) just in case it got knocked over and 2.) he will totally point at the seeds etc. and say "that's gross" and push it away)


----------



## tillymonster (May 12, 2011)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *astromum*
> 
> Aww sorry to hear that Tilly! It's not 100% with mine, either.
> 
> ...


Yes on the "that's gross" thing. Mine doesn't do smoothies anymore ahhhh! She will have them as frozen Popsicles. Maybe I need to make a batch! I'm at 2wks postpartum with a newborn so things like that aren't happening right now!


----------



## newgirlintown (Apr 17, 2011)

I decided to search the forum before posting my own thread so I will add to this. My daughter is 2.5 and is eating NOTHING but bread, pasta, and porridge. She will sometimes request an apple or a carrot but she won´t eat more than a bite. It is beyond frustrating. Also, I am trying to cut way back on breastfeeding because I am pregnant and my milk supply is dropping (right now it seems to be up though - she was sick and nursing all the time) and it hurts/gives me the creeps. She knows she can always try to nurse, I think that doesn´t help. Maybe she has bad gut bacteria, I don´t know. The other night when she hadn´t eaten anything all day and she was asking to nurse constantly and I was OVER IT, I gave her my emergency bag of potato chips, and she ate half the bag and was running around, full of energy. I felt so guilty - she obviously needed the food! Why wouldn´t she eat, all day!? She would rather eat nothing than eat junk? I swear we don´t give junk that often. I am at the end of my rope!!!!!


----------



## JamieCatheryn (Dec 31, 2005)

My 4 year old is hooked on breads and pasta and fruit too, if there is some around that is all he will eat. I still buy lotsa fruit, and sweet potatoes, some corn, some rice, but cut out all wheat and most grains. He used to get fatigued and ragey and it seemed like migraines, hasn't had that since we went gluten free though. Fruit, nuts, raisins, and jerky make up our snacks, and meat and veggies and eggs are the bulk of our meals. I bake sometimes with coconut and almond flour with a bit of tapioca starch. He eats like 4 pieces of fruit a day, but now he'll often make an effort to eat his meals, especially the meat. Some days I have to actually feed it to him though, like he can't be bothered to pick up the fork.

Oh if she likes porridge try n'oat-meal, for 2 people or so use a mortar and pestle or food processor to grind up a mix of 1/2 cup nuts to something between powder and chunks (cashews, almonds, walnuts, whatever you can get), mix in a mashed banana and an egg and a dash of cinnamon, add milk or a milk alternative to cover, cook til thickened, just like porridge. Also, see if you can give a homemade broth to her or soup made with it, if she'll take it it's very nourishing and healing. Just simmer chicken bones or roasted beef bones in water a few hours on a low stove or in the crockpot, with a splash of vinegar if you remember to add it. Does she take another milk besides breastmilk? Cow, goat, soy, rice, almond, coconut, hemp? I can recommend the last 3 and possibly the goat milk (especially raw). Something milk-like is not absolutely needed but children tend to like it. Also, yogurt or something else cultured or lacto-fermented with live cultures now and then is a must (kefir, water kefir which is like soda, some kinds of pickles, sauerkraut, kimchi).


----------



## sassyfirechick (Jan 21, 2012)

Definitely a gut issue if carbs/sugars are all they crave. My ND gave DD rave reviews at her 2yr well check and said let her eat as much as she wants BUT if she only requested bread/cereal/pasta to say no or severely limit it. Bad gut bacteria feed on these things, thus your body will crave them. We've worked hard to correct her stomach issues and I do not want to fall back into that cycle again!


----------



## newgirlintown (Apr 17, 2011)

She ate fish yesterday!

I bought a probiotic supplement and she has had a few doses already, maybe that is starting to help. She has ALWAYS been a picky kid. She won´t eat yogurts or spicy foods (currently making kimchi but I doubt she would eat that), and she has texture issues so she won´t eat fruit that is too soft, or bananas that are too hard, bread that is too soft, rice that is not cooked the way she likes, etc.

I have tried broth. She won´t touch chicken or deer bone broth. She liked japanese clear soup when we were in Japan so I might try to do that. She won´t eat miso, though, unfortunately.

I guess it is frustrating because, yeah, I would like her to eat more other foods and less grains, but I just CANNOT handle the nursing (sometimes - sometimes it is alright), and so on those days she will literally starve herself until she can get some breastmilk. I tried to give her almond milk a while ago, but not recently. I am not so sure I like the idea of giving her those sort of empty drinks.

Also, I was just vegan, but after I got pregnant I added back everything in smaller quantities because I was not able to stomach my normal foods and needed to eat. So cooking meats and things for her is hard, in and of itself.

Thanks for the comments. Maybe I can manage to try a few days without grain to test it out.  I have a friend who is trying to put her kids on the cure tooth decay diet after being vegans and they basically would rather starve. Seriously. It goes against all the theories but it is true, for them. I just am not sure I believe she could have gotten candida in her system or something similar? She has basically been having large amounts of breastmilk everyday for 2.5 years! I feel like her immune system IS good - she is rarely sick. Anyway. Thanks for the n´oat meal recipe - I will definitely give that a try!


----------



## sassyfirechick (Jan 21, 2012)

For the carb cravings, if your kids like spaghetti, you can try roasting up some spaghetti squash and load that with your topping of choice. If you roast it long enough it gets a similar texture of pasta, we do it with some vegan alfredo since we're non-dairy and DD just laps it up. Just though of it bc it's on the menu tonight at our house!


----------



## newgirlintown (Apr 17, 2011)

Ooh, good suggestion, thanks! Not sure if anyone sells spaghetti squash around here, but if it exists, I will find it


----------



## lovingcj (Aug 7, 2013)

hey ladies,

I also have a 3.5 yr old who started out strong and is now.......picky, fussy, tempermental, etc., ......since he stays home with me and we have a pretty decent rhythm, his helping me with food prep is an integral part of our day from each meal and snack....yet, it does nothing to help him try these foods out despite what experts say. he has a great time cooking, will hold the fork/spoon up to the food when done, and say, "nahhhh, we'll leave it here if I change my mind." to which he never changes his mind, lol.......ahh, the joys of motherhood 

my question is this: I keep hearing of everyone talk about gut flora and increasing the good bacteria, which I get, but yogurt and kefir are dairy products which I didn't think were good for digestion. is it the way its fermented, or processed that alters its properties? my son shouldn't get a lot of dairy as it upsets his belly and can affect his moods, but if this is an acceptable alternative, then I would enjoy trying it with him. I wouldn't give him a glass of cows milk or hunk of cheese, but this might be worth a shot, if it would help his gut heal and allow him to branch out again. the "don't do dairy" but "do probiotics like kefir or yogurt" confuse me. thanks!


----------



## JamieCatheryn (Dec 31, 2005)

It depends on the individual. I've read that about 20% of people in the world consume dairy just fine regardless (especially if their ancestors did), the rest have varying degrees of inflammation and indigestion. Pasteurization and homogenization make the proteins harder to handle. Cultured (yogurt, kefir), it's much easier to digest. If you still don't handle it well, there's lots of non dairy cultured and fermented foods you can get good gut flora from, or supplements. The easiest to convince a kid to have is water kefir, lemon-ginger is especially pleasant.


----------



## sassyfirechick (Jan 21, 2012)

Since my LO can't do dairy, we opt for coconut milk kefir when there's money in the budget, otherwise she takes her daily chewable probiotic from the ND. She does also enjoy sipping on kombucha when I pick up a bottle although I really need to get on the ball and just start making it myself.


----------



## ilovetchotchkes (Oct 16, 2011)

Toddlers get weird

Have you considered allergies? know that sounds weird, but when my normally "i will eat anything edible" son started refusing tomatos, pineapple, and avocados i was mystified. Those were his favorites.

Turns out, he's got seasonal allergies that those foods trigger food allergy symptoms with. Its worth looking into at least- even if s/he can't eat em, you'd have an explanation.


----------



## newgirlintown (Apr 17, 2011)

Is it possible to have meat allergies? Because that's one of the things she used to eat but literally won't touch. Otherwise, maybe it's worth looking into eggs. She used to eat those fairly reliably but now wont do more than a bite. Thanks for the idea!


----------



## sageowl (Nov 16, 2010)

With meat it's more likely a texture aversion.


----------



## ilovetchotchkes (Oct 16, 2011)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *sageowl*
> 
> With meat it's more likely a texture aversion.


Yes. As a kid I once got a gristly piece of pork chop and now even as an adult, even the smell of pork chops makes me queasy.


----------



## Tigerle (Jan 22, 2009)

Check out "What's eating your child", reissued recently as "Cure your child with food" by Kelly Dorfman. I can't say enough good things about it.

I had the world's pickiest eater (tried to live on breastmilk until weaned, then tried to live on bread, pasta and french fries) and she was having none of the usual good advice: shop, cook, decorate, have peers around who eat, sauces...nothing. She basically stopped growing for a year and had serious issues with constipation (still has megacolon left over from that phase and we have to give daily laxatives even though her stool is soft for at least another six months).

We finally tried to tackle the problem according to Dorfman's E.A.T. program at the beginning of this year and are still working on new foods, but it is and was a fight - for days, she'd tantrum until she fell asleep exhausted at bedtime rather than eat a teensy tiny bit of soft boiled carrot, a vegetable she used to eat at least in pureed form. broth, applesauce and a hand-held blender were our lifesavers. She craved sugar intensely for about two weeks, then got better, but there has been no miracle cure. However, her sudden spurt in growth and development as soon as we had her eating pureed fruit and vegetables was remarkable! She has recently graduated to carrot slices, even had some sauerkraut recently, will eat fish and meat and sausages, will eat apples (peeled) and high fat yoghurt with raisins or mcadamia nuts for a snack and for variety still gets a number of fruit and vegetables either in puree form or grated (as long as the carrot, potato or sweet potato content is reasonably high, most anything goes) .

I have to admit I have no patience any more with people you insist not to force the issue and "they'll eventually learn to like healthy stuff". It may take years, years in which kids' development is compromised by deficient or even toxic building materials for their cells. It was a hard road, and it did involve some extremely authoritarian parenting, but I kept asking myself whether I should be less strict than about enforcing carseats or a lifesaving medication, and the asnwer I kept coming up with was no. in her case it appeared to be mostly about sensory issues, but I am still suspicious about an intolerance lurking around somewhere.

Cravings are a serious pointer towards either gut dysbalances or intolerances. I can't repeat the book here, but with a kid dependent on bread, crackers and pasta, I'd try with eliminating sugar and grain products and give a high quality probiotic (as in a refrigerated bottle from a drugstore, not just yoghurt) for starters. If you feel she is trying to live on dairy, conversely try eliminating dairy. Yes, it means going hungry at first. but this kind of dependcy is harmful for your child, and you wouldn't care about tantrums if you had to take away your prescription medication or the cleaning solvent.

Hang in there! After all this hard work, you will at some point be rewarded by your kid yelling excitedly about this really wonderful dish papa made, "with super yummy meat and green beans and wild rice!" and all of them actually eating it.


----------



## Nightwish (Sep 9, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Tigerle*
> 
> I have to admit I have no patience any more with people you insist not to force the issue and "they'll eventually learn to like healthy stuff". It may take years, years in which kids' development is compromised by deficient or even toxic building materials for their cells.


There is actually no scientific evidence to support this.

But there is scientific evidence to support the fact the forcing food on children is harmful and messes up their body signals, so they can't feel when they are full.

The kids will grow to learn to eat the food we are eating. Not the food we are supposed to eat, but the food we are actually eating. It's that simple.


----------



## Tigerle (Jan 22, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Nightwish*
> 
> There is actually no scientific evidence to support this.
> 
> ...


Ah, I realize I need to clear up a misconception here.

We do not enforce quantity. But we do enforce quality.

I am not sure what you mean by "there is no scientific evidence to support this". I'm sure you're not saying that there is no scientific evidence that it does not matter to kids' health and development if they try to subsist on a white diet - as in dry pasta, dry bread, yoghurt and the occasional sausage, and nothing else that might contain a shred of fiber or a microgram of vitamins - for years and years? Because that was what DD tried to control everyone around her into letting her eat exclusively for over a year. She basically stopped growing after I had to nightwean her at a year old due to inflamed and suppurating nipples (she ate the bare minimum of the fruit and veggie purees to survive during the day and tried to make up for it all night) and after I had to wean her for good at 1.5 years halfway through my third pregnancy, her overall development seemed to slow down, except for a huge buddha belly that just kept expanding - at that time, we still got the occasional jar of veggies or applesauce in. When we finally were able to gasp for air after a highrisk pregnancy and the birth and NICU stays of our special needs baby to realize (a time during which she spent way too much time at daycare and with grandparents) and realized what kind of diet she had screamed and fussed her way into eating (see above) she had stopped pooping, too. There must be scientific evidence that it's not that great for kids when they stop pooping...

Our fridge was and is overflowing with fresh produce. We cook meat and veggies from scratch, always have, and enjoy it all. It did not matter one whit to our DD. She simply stuffed herself with the carb options on the table (dry pasta, dry bread - God, we were glad if could get the occasional potatoe in, and tricked her into tolerating butter on the bread) . The healthiest thing she was eating was homemade cakes and pies, and that not always. DS1 was a picky eater too, but he had nothing on DD.

So, in desperation, we went primal/PHD. There simply is no more bread or pasta in the house and we have asked the grandparents not to serve those any more, either (still working on daycare). We had to basically starve her into even consenting to put a piece of veggies or fruit into her mouth - I kept telling myself it's that or continuing laxative medication indefinitely.... Had to refuse to let her have anything in the way of rice or potatoes until either the veggies (still pureed, though she has recently, after 8 months training, graduated to carrot pieces and peeled apple slices) and meat on her plate are gone or enforce one bite of each in turn (we still have to watch her like a hawk, it's easier to just insist on her having veggies and meat first before we even put a carb option on the table). Certainly no dessert unless she's had a balanced meal. This goes for DS1 too! We tell the kids, with conviction, that the body cannot cope with the additional sugar unless it's had a solid dose of proper nutrients in.

The kids are developing in leaps and bounds, calmer, happier, even though we continually insist on their trying something new at table - with DD, it might be a new shape of boiled carrot pieces (yes, she's that difficult), with DS1 it might be a bite of cauliflower. They are beginning to calm down about that situation too, resigning themselves philosophically to putting stuff in their mouths they would both have run away from screaming only months ago, and interestingly, usually admit that they like it or at least find it tolerable. I would not have the eating situtation we had before go on for another day.

Feeling if she's full? She refused to even sit down at the table, insisting she wasn't hungry when veggies were so much as on her plate, and put herself to bed. However, she was immediately hungry if there was one of the 5 or so options she liked.

And no, she's not autistic. Probably sensory issues around food, but otherwise very healthy.

And I'd be extremely suspicious of any scientific evidence purporting to infer any causalities on finding, that most kids, by and large, grow up to do stuff the way their parents do it. Unless the children are adopted, you can have no idea just how much of those similarities are actually due to modelling. Anecdotally, I have seen too many families with children who run the gamut from excellent over so-so to extremely picky eaters to believ in modelling any more.


----------



## Nightwish (Sep 9, 2008)

When I said: there is no scientific evidence to support this, I referred to your statement:

"kids' development is compromised by deficient or even toxic building materials for their cells.

Never heard that before.

I see you are fighting a continuous battle with your children to make them eat what you consider nutritious. I've been through that as a child with my own mother and I know what you mean.

My own experience as a mother proved me that as long as I trusted my kids to make choices from the food that was placed on the table at mealtime and snack time, our eating - and feeding experience was a lot more pleasurable. They didn't always eat what and how much I wanted them to eat, they occasionally stopped growing, or grew in spurts (my ds didn't gain weight at all between 1 and 2 years; my dd gained a lot of weight around two, but then shot up in height), but as long as our ped and family doctor said they were healthy, I didn't worry.

I guess my goal is to make eating a joyful experience for my kids (and the whole family), to let them be aware of their bodies' cues, when they are hungry and when they are full, to raise them as competent eaters. Personally, I find these goals more important than making sure they got a specific amount/type of food in their bodies on a specific day.

Also wanted to add, bread and pasta are a significant source of fiber. Maybe your dd knew better what her body needed.


----------



## Tigerle (Jan 22, 2009)

Ah I get what you meant now.

For the probably best known example of structural damage from malnutrition, I would refer you to the research on transfats versus omega3s such as DHA and EPA and their influence on brain development (one summer, DD tried to live exclusively on french fries. ugh). For cell damage induced by diet consisting mostly of refined carbs (dry pasta, dry bread, even whole grain bread), to research on what was formerly called adult onset diabetes, until kids who had ever higher carb amounts in their diet developed insulin resistance, too. Generally, all oxidation processes induced by substances such as refined vegetable oils or sugar lead to cell damage. All of the above will take years to reverse once the damage is done, as the body takes years to renew the compromised cells - sort of like a smoker whose cancer risks takes years to go down even after stopping.

So why serve french fries, bread and pasta at all, you may ask? Well, we did want to pic-nic on the beach occasionally, or have bread for breakfast or pasta for lunch. It would not have been so bad if DD had consented to eat anything else during other occasions, and not run away screaming and put herself to bed. And you can't be serious about her doing this because she somehow knew she needed the fiber? As if the white flour pretzels and pasta she craved and manipulated every one else into giving her just so she would stop screaming and eat something instead of putting herself to bed hungry were a better source of fiber than the fruit and vegetables we offered? No, if a child behaves that way it means her body signals are seriously out of whack (and because she was difficult even in her transition to solids after being exclusively breastfed I think it was sensory issues in the first place until it developed into a carb dependency). And she wasn't healthy - viz. the constipation, and the slowdown in language development. Peds aren't that reliable in judging whether kids are developing as well as they should. They actually were concerned about the arrested growth and tested for celiac disease, but when that one turned out negative, they just shrugged and prescribed laxatives for the constipation.And since her cognitive development appeared to be advanced anyway, they felt every thing else was fine. Only - her older brother, who is only a somewhat picky eater and actually able to eat a healthy diet by choosing from the healthy options I serve which I know he will eat, was off the charts. And now that she is getting her nutrients in, she is off the charts, too. A ped wouldn't take that concern seriously, but I knew something was going wrong, badly.

talking about bodily cues, I need to add that both DS1 and I have blood sugar issues, ie reactive hypoglycemia. When our blood sugar drops, we do not get hungry, we crash. I get dizzy and irritable, DS1 just freaks out, and is almost unable to eat. I used to have to yell at him to stop screaming and take just one bite so he could calm down enough to start eating, even though I tried to make sure he had protein rich snacks. Now that we have stopped eating grains and cut down on all other carbs, that is GONE. All those carb options just mess up our kids' bodies cues until they aren't reliable any more, and you cannot "reset" their bodies, as it were, without enforcing the low carb high nutrition options first.


----------



## Tigerle (Jan 22, 2009)

Oh, and I do get what you mean about the joyful experience, really I do. The last 8 months or so were eating hell for all of us. Now that the yelling, running, whining, screamin has mostly stopped, the kids have gotten used to the fact that grains are out and sugar is extremely restricted and we can slowly slowly introduce ever more healthy options, we all feel SO much better. Finding pleasure in food is really important. But I did have to teach my kids to find pleasure beyond flour and sugar.

It was worth it.


----------



## newgirlintown (Apr 17, 2011)

Oh man, now I am sort of even more back where I started.

I was a very picky eater, and when I got to an age where I realized eating more kinds of foods opened doors, I started eating more. I still have some hang ups, but I LOVE food, cooking, eating, trying new things, and traveling and eating new foods. So...I feel like she might have an adventurous eater inside her just lying dormant, that I don´t want to scare away. Plus, I really don´t have it in my to starve her (because really, she will refuse to eat food that she doesn´t want to eat) to get her to eat a diet that I see as more balanced. When I look at a week of nutrition for her, she is eating some fish or meat products, some veg (carrots, potatoes), some fruit (apple, banana, grapes, strawberries, lots of these), lots of carbs (pasta, porridge, bread, rice), and some unhealthier options (salty snacks or these rolls that have cinnamon swirls in them (much closer to cinnamon bread than cinnamon rolls)). No juice. Lots of water. Sure there are vitamins not being at optimal levels, and now that she has stopped breastfeeding, except for one small token feed a day, that does worry me a bit, but I might try a vitamin :/

I think for now I am not going to change anything drastically. We did talk about how trying foods can be a fun way to find new things she likes, and I told her for every dinner I make, I am going to try to make at least some part of that a food that she could theoretically eat (not too spicy, not mixed with lots of other foods







). She liked that idea.

From my experience with her I know that whenever I push, she pushes back. So, pushing isn´t the answer.


----------



## sassyfirechick (Jan 21, 2012)

Fiber from bread and pasta should not be the main source of fiber in the diet - it's added in to the products most times after the fact because they lack an real nutrients. Fiber comes from plant based foods - leafy greens, fruits and other veggies. I absolutely stand by cravings as a sign of intolerance or sensitivity. My DD tested negative for gluten reactions at 9mos old with the ND, but they still were not a huge part of her diet at that point. More recently, with my FIL watching her and taking her out to eat, her dietary restrictions went out the window and she was just tested last week, now 23mos and she IS reactive to gluten and she HAS been asking for these products more and more. She's always eaten well, including a whole variety of veggies and spices, she just started to slip away from those things and become more and more focused on the grain heavy foods (crackers, animal cookies, bread) - and her lack of good sleep, skin rashes, and overall irritability have been enough warning signs for me to know to have her retested to confirm my suspicions, and we are now not only a dairy free house, but gluten and soy as well. If you want to take a slower, non-cold turkey route, I would just stop buying glutenous products as you run out. There are plenty of gluten free products out there, or better yet just avoid processed foods altogether. If your LO will drink a smoothie or "milkshake" (honestly kids at that age are very easily deceived by names of products more than anything, friend of mine got her 4yo to drink green smoothies just by calling them monster slime!) then start to mix in small amounts of healthy options - avocadoes and coconut oil for brain/heart healthy fats, spinach and kale for greens and fiber, and fruit to mask the flavor. Because we've been dairy free for most of DD's life, she doesn't know about things like standard chocolate pudding - BUT a few ripe avocadoes, a bit of honey, cocoa powder and vanilla extract....BEST damn chocolate pudding you've ever had and you'd have to have one hell of a palate to notice it was made from avocadoes, DH had no clue when he thought he was sneaking a bite of something he shouldn't have ;-)


----------



## Nightwish (Sep 9, 2008)

Surely there has to be a middle ground between feeding kids whenever, whatever they want, and banning foods, or tricking, bribing and forcing kids to eat. Extremes are never good. Pressure always backfires. I have yet to hear from an adult that they are happy they were made to eat something they didn't want askids (unless, of course, they want to justify pressuring their own kids to eat).
Just curious, for people who insist their kids eat ONLY "healthy" food, do you also eat the same food? No sweets, no gluten, no pasta?
Oh, and cereals are a VERY good source of fibre
http://uwaterloo.ca/health-services/nutrition-services/nutrition-resources/fibre-fundamentals


----------



## sassyfirechick (Jan 21, 2012)

There are no sweets in my house, no gluten either, and definitely no pressure. It's really not that hard to eat a healthy diet and pass that along to your kids.....


----------



## Nightwish (Sep 9, 2008)

Good for you for not keeping sweets in the house, but that's not what I asked.


----------



## sassyfirechick (Jan 21, 2012)

You asked if people eat what they "expect" their kids to eat....I did answer that by stating we don't have those foods available therefore we all eat the same things, ie healthy unprocessed whole foods. You can leave that attitude at the door next time.


----------



## Nightwish (Sep 9, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *sassyfirechick*
> 
> You asked if people eat what they "expect" their kids to eat...therefore we all eat the same things, ie healthy unprocessed whole foods.


Well, that's not what you said. You just said you are sneaking food to your family and your family is sneaking food you don't want them to have (you say: "DH had no clue when he thought he was sneaking a bite of something he shouldn't have").

Maybe you don't keep "unhealthy" food in your house and you don't eat it yourself, but your family does. Children are not stupid. You can't control her eating forever. What you are teaching your dd is not how to eat healthily, but how to sneak food.


----------



## sassyfirechick (Jan 21, 2012)

Clearly you are unable to read what I actually posted or are trying to read between the lines something that isn't there. What I said was that DH *felt* he was eating something he shouldn't (snarky comment, sarcastic....)- what adult logically things pudding is healthy? He was not expecting there to be avocado in chocolate pudding. Not that he was being somehow sneaky behind my back. As for my DD, she has food intolerances to dairy and gluten and I've had very harsh words with my in-laws as to what foods are ok for her to eat for her health and it's taken time but they are following my rules. These are not arbitrary rules that I'm imposing because I'm some sort of food czar in my home and want to control what everyone eats. I'm setting examples for my family, and we've talked about living a healthy lifestyle and therefore follow that. My child is 2, she's not capable of sneaking behind my back looking for junk food - she's never had the experience of it so at others houses she asks for water, veggies, fruit, coconut milk....the things she eats at home. I wont shelter her and tell her junk doesn't' exist, but I will educate her as to why we eat the way we do. And most children with food sensitivities will experiment at some point only to realize they prefer feeling healthy and they always come back to healthy eating.

I commented on how to *gasp* hide food in smoothies and such if needed, not because I've ever had to do this for my child (again, she eats everything), but because I know it's worked for some people when transitioning their kids to healthier eating. Some of the first green juices I ever made for myself involved copious amounts of apples and lemons to mask the green flavor that I was not accustomed to and over time my palate changed and I've learned to accept a wider array of vegetables - things that was NOT raised on. My DD has a much wider palate because she IS being raised on these things and she does readily accept new items without hesitation. So I sincerely doubt she will be sneaking things behind my back because we eat everything she eats.


----------



## JamieCatheryn (Dec 31, 2005)

I allow my kids MORE leeway than I give myself, they eat loads of fruit and nuts while I limit those for myself. They eat some cheese, too. They are, after all, growing and active. But I'd be doing them no favors to give gluten or excessive carbs to the one who reacts poorly to it! He craves nothing else, his energy drops to nothing, his head hurts, and he can't speak. For no situational reason whatsoever he makes fists and angry faces and cries for an hour no matter what treat or distraction I offer. Tylenol helps if I catch it early. Then he's disoriented afterwards. We went GF in June, it hasn't happened since except the one time he had mac and cheese in July.


----------



## Triniity (Jul 15, 2007)

I read a rather compelling theory once about this "toddler won't eat", it said that it's evolutionary, since kids stop eating "everything in front of them" when they are capable to run off and "find" their food.

So, to keep them from eating all these poisonous plants and insects (I would guess) nature stopped them eating "green" and "funny looking" or anything "intense tasting", for a while, until they are old enough to understand what is nutrious and what is poison.

I LOVE this theory and it totally stopped me worrying about it. All my kids were weaned using the "baby led weaning" method, and all of them ate everything in front of them, until they were two - two and a half. They restarted around four, though DS does not like his food to be touching


----------



## FloridaBorn (Nov 28, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *sassyfirechick*
> 
> There are no sweets in my house, no gluten either, and definitely no pressure. It's really not that hard to eat a healthy diet and pass that along to your kids.....


Privilege check on aisle three!


----------



## Tigerle (Jan 22, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *FloridaBorn*
> 
> Privilege check on aisle three!


Huh?


----------



## sassyfirechick (Jan 21, 2012)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *FloridaBorn*
> 
> Privilege check on aisle three!


For what reason? I merely stated what foods are and are not in my home to answer a question...there was no air of privilege there. Would you call someone privileged for keeping their home nut free because of a child with allergies?


----------



## root*children (Mar 22, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Nightwish*
> I have yet to hear from an adult that they are happy they were made to eat something they didn't want as kids


I'll jump in and be the first adult you've heard say that I am happy my parents made me eat lots of things that I didn't want to eat! My siblings are in agreement with me, 100%! My mom's cooking was not very good, either  But from having been made to eat everything on my plate (small portions, but all different kinds of food), I have been able, my whole life, to try new foods without any reservations. It's great! I have found foods I don't like so much, and other foods that I LOVE!

I have this experience in comparison to my ex-husband who was allowed to only eat what he felt like, and to the next level of - if he didn't like what the meal was, his mother would actually make him a separate meal (usually PB&J). He was a horrible eater the entire time I knew him. It was quite embarrassing to eat at other people's house. And it was extremely difficult to teach our child to eat healthy food options and try new things, when he would see his dad eating either junk food or just really limited healthy foods.

Raising another child with a partner who loves trying new food and we only keep healthy foods in the house is a wonderful change! We do eat treats, but they are just that - treats, they are rarely made or maybe eaten somewhere that's not at home (like on a vacation,etc).

I find with toddlers, things that can help encourage them to eat things you want them to eat are to only have desirable foods present in your house, also peer pressure can make a lot of difference! Have play dates with her little buddies and only serve nori, pickles, hard boiled eggs, whatever, and you may be surprised what you see her trying! With my own kids, when they turn about 4, we do start having basic rules around eating - things like you have to try a bite of everything, insults about the food are not okay, and you must show gratitude. The catch phrase in my house for probably a decade has been, "You didn't know you liked chocolate cake until you tried it!"

We also switched to grain-free/ nourishing traditions about a year ago, and it's amazing to see the great foods that all my kids will eat now that the basic fillers like bread and pasta aren't in the picture.

Good luck to you, OP! Food issues seem to continually change and need tweaking (as well as so many other things in our life


----------



## Triniity (Jul 15, 2007)

Quote:


> But from having been made to eat everything on my plate (small portions, but all different kinds of food), I have been able, my whole life, to try new foods without any reservations.


I have a different take on that.

I personally believe, that you can only make a child eat something, that he/she would anyway given enough time. My DS has sensory issues, and he has to take a bite of every food I offer, but he can choose to eat or not to eat, and he always has the option of bland carbohydrates, like if we have potatoes with something and he does not like the something, he does not have to eat it. He can choose to only eat potatoes. He won't eat different types of food for a myriad of reasons, like the texture, the taste, the noise it makes, the color, you name it.

My DD on the other hand just eats whatever does not bite first. Same family, same food, same upbringing. (to an extend I guess).

So in my opinion if you make someone eat against his wishes, than he won't really like eating as an experience. And maybe the mom of your partner just gave up after a while of trying.

I know millions of adults who were made to eat something and won't eat it anymore therefor. Like I won't eat vanilla"y" desserts, because I was made finish my desserts after meals, even if I was full or did not like them. So I kind of start gagging with this kind of food.

My mom does not drink milk, because she was made drinking it as a kid.

My husband won't try fish.

I know dozens more..


----------



## sassyfirechick (Jan 21, 2012)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Triniity*
> 
> My DD on the other hand just eats whatever does not bite first. Same family, same food, same upbringing. (to an extend I guess).










Mine's the same way. Eats everything and anything, but I also never force her to eat stuff. Some nights she's all about carrots, others is the greens. She gets enough variety day to day that I'm pretty confident that she's eating what her body needs at that given moment. I was also forced to finish food, and there's a few veggies that took me a very long time to eat as an adult.


----------



## root*children (Mar 22, 2004)

I hear ya, I don't use the "finish everything" method with my own kids. I was just responding a PP who insisted she had never heard any adult say that they were glad their parents had made them eat all foods.


----------



## tillymonster (May 12, 2011)

Agree. I like to think about my last pregnancy where there was SO MANY foods that made me feel sick to eat. Can you imagine a person forcing you to eat it when it makes you want to gag! Crazy!

I read that this age kids start to get "grossed out" over texture, smell, mouth feel, etc. and it totally makes sense. Plus the gorging on certain foods one day then eating nothing the next? It's just part of the growing palette of this age group.

What's really irking me now... The demanding of foods that I'll make just as she asks for. Then she takes a tiny tiny bite and won't eat more. Ugh!!! The wasted food is atrocious.


----------



## TeaBean (Mar 2, 2014)

My DS has been only requesting dairy and crackers or Cheerios. Time for a candida cleanse! Thanks for the reminder, I forgot the signs.


----------



## peaceful_mama (May 27, 2005)

That requested food can go back to the fridge & reheated.


----------

