# Anyone else deciding NOT to ttc again after m/c?



## mother_sunshine (Nov 25, 2001)

I was 100% sure and ready to ttc immediately after my first m/c in May, but this time I'm 75% sure I don't want to try again. And I don't think it's all about the anger and sorrow I'm feeling right now (not to mention my fear that I just might lose my sanity if this happens again). We've always been happy just the 3 of us. Maybe it's my body and mind saying another just isn't right for us. I'm clearly rejecting the baby because almost the same exact thing is happening as last time...


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## Stayseeliz (Jul 16, 2004)

We're choosing to adopt right now after a m/c in June. I spent all summer alternating between just knowing I would get pg and being scared to death that I might lose another baby. I don't know if I could handle that.

We've always wanted to adopt so that is the path we're taking for now. We might stop using anything to prevent at some point but I don't know if I want to "persue" another baby anytime soon at all..I just can't do it!!


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## KnittingMama (Nov 30, 2005)

Michelle - DH and I have talked about this over and over. We keep going back and forth. Right now we've decided to TTC once more, but if it fails again, I think we may quit. Like you said, we feel if it happens again, it may be a sign that we should just stay as we are and that our family isn't meant to get any bigger. Maybe you should table the thought for now, and revisit it when you've had time to grieve and collect your emotions.


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## Mammax4 (May 26, 2006)

My m/c was in July. Dh has said no to ttc again. We have 3 ds. Some days I am sad about my arms remaining empty, other days I think it would scare the pants off me to be pg again. I think it would be a stressful time until delivery. I don't think that would be fair to the family...but in selfish moments I sure wish I was going to ttc again.


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## 5thAttempt (Apr 22, 2006)

I had total of 5 m/c, 4 in a row over the last 3 years while trying for baby #2. Last august was my concecutive m/c #4. We decided that we are going to do some additional testing and rest and not to make any decisions for a while. RE found a very rare blood clotting problem that I was not tested after m/c #3. She also suggested to try IVF with pre-implanation diagnosis - just to try something different. Last January (half a year after last m/c) my dh and I visited my regular OB who we both respect a lot and he gave us odds of having a baby around 30%. My dh was very concerned about me since every time it was harder and harder on me and my depression. Finally in march we decided to try one more time and we decided to do it with the condition that no matter what the outcome will be - this is our last try. We decided against ivf since I do not have any trouble getting pregnant, but I am doing daily heparin shots, aspirin and I was on progesteron since the ovulation for 3 month. I am almost 24 w pregnant! I feel the baby kicking! All my past m/c were in the 1st trimester - I do not feel completly safe yet but I do have a lot of hope that may be I will get my baby with these 30% odds that were given me.
mother_sunshine, I have 9 year old kid and we are very happy just 3 of us. No matter what the outcome will be - we will be family and I will not let the my ability to carry another child to ruin my life. But I am the happiest person on earth right now due to current pregnancy. I also want to add that we waited longer time after each m/c before TTC again, not because of my body but because I was not ready to face the fiasco again.


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## mother_sunshine (Nov 25, 2001)

Thanks for responding Mamas.







I'm glad I'm not alone. I am already going back and forth and I haven't even miscarried yet (still waiting). There is so much to weigh, I need to give myself (and my family) time. DH is set on not trying again but dd and I are not 100%. I told him I'm not ready to decide one way or the other yet. It's just too raw and painful still, obviously.

I'm usually really good at trusting my heart but my heart is really confusing me this time...


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## mother_sunshine (Nov 25, 2001)

5thAttempt, We posted at the same time. Beautiful story, thanks for sharing. You've endured a lot. Good luck to you. May you grow a beautiful round belly with a happy healthy baby.


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## Stayseeliz (Jul 16, 2004)

Well we chickened out on the adoption as it was going to cost a lot more than we thought it would. So we are back to TTC..But I'm not going to worry myself to death over it..If it happens it happens..If it doesn't I have two great kids already and that will be enough!!


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## mata (Apr 20, 2006)

yes, we've made this decision, and I'm completely at peace with it. I understand!


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## pianojazzgirl (Apr 6, 2006)

I'm feeling a bit the same way right now. After the first mc I was totally eager and ready to TTC. Of course I was scared about it happening again but for the most part I had a feeling that everything would turn out ok. Well, obviously my feeling was way off. Now I feel betrayed by my intuition and my body. My confidence about ever being able to have another baby has been decimated. It's really made me take the time to focus on myself (mostly getting back into my career as a musician) and my family - the amazing dd that I do have. I think if I didn't already have a child I'd be ready to try again, but now I'm thinking a family of 3 might be just fine for us.


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## lolalapcat (Sep 7, 2006)

After 3 miscarriages (2 last year at 5.5 wks and 4.5 wks, another in June at 8 wks) we are going to try one more time. If it doesn't work out for us, we'll start looking at adoption. We don't have any children (4 cats and a dog, though!) and want to be parents, one way or another. Maybe if we adopt, we'll try again for a birth child, but I can't keep trying without knowing if we'll ever be parents.


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## mom2alicia (Nov 30, 2004)

not sure. i just had my second miscarriage. i have a beautiful daughter. when i had this miscarriage, at first i thought, that is it, i can't go through this again, we'll just stop or consider adopting. but now i'm thinking maybe we'll try again. i'm undecided. it is very draining emotionally and physically to go through multiple miscarriages. i just don't know yet.


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## bigbellydreams (Feb 15, 2003)

After my first loss it wasn't even a thought to not ttc right away again. I then had DD. My 3rd pregnancy ended in a loss and we both immediately said we needed to take a break before trying again. There was no way I would have been able to deal with a 3rd loss anytime soon so we waited until after my due date had passed. Hopefully I don't have another loss but if I do I think I am in a better state of mind now then I would have been anytime sooner.


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## LadyInfidel (Jan 23, 2006)

I finally reached my breaking point this summer after my most recent m/c.

After 1 loss at birth and 8 m/c between 5 weeks and 15 weeks gestation, I've called it quits forever. I can't take it anymore and I never want to be pregnant again. I will always wish for one more baby but I can't do it again.

I just don't have it in me anymore. I'd rather focus on parenting the children I am lucky enough to have than stress and worry over the ones I lost or can't have.

It's good to have it all behind me now. I feel like I can move onto something else now that my baby days are over and my days as a nursing mom are goling to end in a year or so.

Time for a new chapter.


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## lolalapcat (Sep 7, 2006)

LadyInfidel, you are very brave and wise and strong. It takes great courage to continue trying in the face of such loss, and perhaps even more to decide you will not keep going through the pain.

It's scary, when we all know what can happen, both good and bad. We just don't know if the next time will be the lucky one, or if LadyInfidel's road will be ours also. Not knowing is almost as bad as knowing.

Good luck to all of you, no matter what your road may be.

Keri


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## merpk (Dec 19, 2001)

*


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## wheezie (Sep 18, 2004)

Me! We're *not* ttc anymore, we're done. We're tossing around the idea of adoption as I want more kids, I just don't want to be the one to have them.







(I have rough pg's, history of birth defects, etc).


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## zaccai'smom (Sep 25, 2006)

Im knew and dont know some of the abbreviations people are using like TTC and BFP? Help


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## pianojazzgirl (Apr 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zaccai'smom* 
Im knew and dont know some of the abbreviations people are using like TTC and BFP? Help

TTC means "trying to conceive". BFP means "big fat positive" - or in another words a positive pregnancy test.


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