# Baby wakes up too often - and cries...



## MommyCM (Dec 25, 2008)

Hi all,

We are young parents with our first baby - almost 5 Months old cute girl - and need some help!

Our baby used to sleep 6 hours a night. Then we went to visit some friends and since we got back she is getting up every 1-2 hours and cries a lot. We tried to give her a pacifier instead of feeding, but it takes at least 45 Min. for her to go back to sleep... our nights are a disaster!

We are trying to feed her every 3 hours during the day but she seems to take in too little at each feed so most of the time need to eat more often than that. A lactation consultant thinks she does it because she is kind of refluxy

What can we do to get her to eat more on each feed and to sleep better at night?

Thanks


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Nurse on demand, don't try to schedule or limit her.

Put her in your bed and help her to get independent in latching on at night so you don't have to wake.

-Angela


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## Megs Mom (Mar 19, 2002)

Welcome to parenthood, and to MDC!

Reflux is so so hard. Keeping Baby upright after feeding helps. Can you maybe angle her head upwards, either in your bed or hers? (Blankets under the top of the mattress). Have you tried eliminating dairy from your diet if you are nursing her, or switching to a non-dairy formula?


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## Deer Hunter (Sep 26, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alegna* 
Nurse on demand, don't try to schedule or limit her.

Put her in your bed and help her to get independent in latching on at night so you don't have to wake.

-Angela


You said everything I wanted to say. I one hundred percent agree. Also, scheduled feedings will ruin milk supply, so I've heard and read. Also, we don't eat on schedules, we eat when we want or need to. Baby is the same.

It can be very hard being a first time parent. Great job being proactive and asking for help. I hope that all goes well with you and that you enjoy your cute little bundle of joy. Congradulations are in order.

I currently help care for a friend's child due to her being in bad circumstances, but I'd love to have my own baby's so bad. I haven't had any for health reasos that I'd pass a disease onto them, but I'd love to see myself where you are. Give your little one a kiss for me, and I'l keep you in my thoughts. I hope that all of our advice helps make things better for you.

Edited to add:

I'm so sorry that I forgot to welcome you to the community. Everyone is so great here. You'll find a lot of support and friendliness. I'm so glad you found this place. I found it on accident but am so happy I did. I've learned so much.


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## MommyCM (Dec 25, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Megs Mom* 
Welcome to parenthood, and to MDC!

Reflux is so so hard. Keeping Baby upright after feeding helps. Can you maybe angle her head upwards, either in your bed or hers? (Blankets under the top of the mattress). Have you tried eliminating dairy from your diet if you are nursing her, or switching to a non-dairy formula?

I did put blankets in her bed, and I took dairy out of my diet 3 Months ago!


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## MommyCM (Dec 25, 2008)

Thank you all for welcoming me... I hope I will find some help.

Re nursing on demand - it is noraml that she wants eat very hour?


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyCM* 
Thank you all for welcoming me... I hope I will find some help.

Re nursing on demand - it is noraml that she wants eat very hour?

Absolutely, perfectly normal.









hang in there!

-Angela


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## Satori (Jan 30, 2003)

I would expect a 4-5 month old baby to nurse every 1-2 hours around the clock, 3 hours is pushing it imo. Formula fed kids can easily go 3 hours because its so hard to digest but breastmilk? Its gone in an hour or so. Have you learned to night nurse while laying down? I found co sleeping topless made nights much easier, I woke up for all of 5 seconds, latched baby on and went back to sleep.


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## Pyrodjm (Jan 9, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyCM* 
Thank you all for welcoming me... I hope I will find some help.

Re nursing on demand - it is noraml that she wants eat very hour?

Yep, normal. My daughter is almost 5 moths and nurses every 1-2 hours during the day and at least twice during the night, often more. She sleeps with us and I nurse, so I don't have to wake to feed her. We all get a good night's rest this way.

BTW, my daughter has acid reflux also. But I find at night when she is sleepy and nurses while lying down she doesn't cough, sputter, spit up or need to burp. Our pediatrician suggested that she is very relaxed at night and nurses calmly without taking in as much air. Hope this helps.


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## nalo (Oct 25, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyCM* 
Thank you all for welcoming me... I hope I will find some help.

Re nursing on demand - it is noraml that she wants eat very hour?

It's not uncommon for my 18 month old to nurse hourly at night!!


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## Close2Me (Dec 9, 2008)

Teething?


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

Babies will often wake up more to eat at night if they haven't gotten enough to eat during the day. So, trying to stretch out her feedings in the daytime can lead to MORE night-waking, rather than less. Nurse her as often as she wants to nurse- and she just might be able to get enough milk in the day that she won't need to eat as much at night.

Having the baby in bed next to mama really makes those night time nursings a lot easier. Some families start the baby in a crib, then move the baby to the big bed the first time he or she wakes during the night.


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## AlwaysByMySide (May 4, 2007)

I'm going to guess teething or a growth spurt.


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## LauraN (May 18, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AlwaysByMySide* 
I'm going to guess teething or a growth spurt.









I was going to say the same. Your baby will go through many, many different sleep patterns as she grows. Just when you think you've got a good routine down, bam! a new tooth starts to come in and everything is ruined. And you'll never get the old routine back--but you will end up with a new one. Until the next tooth or growth spurt, that is.

Welcome to parenthood and to MDC!







:

The lifesaver for me was having my babies sleep next to me and nursing them lying down on my side. That way they could nurse as often as they wanted at night and I didn't have to wake much (I wake slightly, but not all the way awake).


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## elizaMM (Nov 10, 2007)

I have read that a change like the one you mentioned can trigger a change in sleep routines. Maybe in Dr. Sears' The Baby Book? Everyone else has said everything else. Good luck!


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## ~Denise~ (Dec 24, 2006)

Definitely sounds like teething.

Have you tried cold teethers, tylenol, Momsicles (frozen breastmilk popsicles), or baby Oragel?


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## FernG (Feb 14, 2008)

My daughter had some reflux and needed to nurse for about 5-10 minutes each hour. We also did block feeding to slow down my letdown. DD nursed on one breast for about 3-4 hours. She also needed to nurse more at night because she didn't have reflux problems then. DD didn't start going for 2 hours between nursing sessions during the day until she was about 7 months old. She's 9 months old now and can go for about 3 hours. During a growth spurt or when she's teething or when she's sick or when she's mastering a new skill, DD always needs to nurse more especially at night.

I would be really careful with following a schedule. My friend tired Babywise and completely lost her milk supply within 2 months.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

If you're trying to make her wait every 3 hours during the day and she's hungry every hour, she's going to try to make up for that by nursing more at night. Some babies will cluster feed later in the day - nurse a LOT for a few hours before bed - so that they can sleep longer. Encourage more nursing during the day and maybe the baby will sleep longer at night. But that's still a maybe. If she's teething or going through a growth spurt, she'll nurse more often anyway. Still, it's worth a shot.

I see Ruthla already said what I was thinking. I should have read the thread first. LOL.


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## jmmom (Sep 11, 2007)

Welcome! Parenting the way most of us do here at MDC means completely disregarding most baby books and advice about schedules, eating, sleeping, etc. Instead, pay attention to your babe, as others have advised - that's what we all do! What almost all of us have probably found is that babies that age almost certainly eat every 1-2 hours - my ds actually nursed closer to every 45 minutes - during the day. Many babies that age also start going through occasional stages of waking more often at night, and honestly, that will probably last until your little one is done getting all of her teeth! But it will get better, they are just few week long phases. Also, nursing on demand and for comfort during the day can REALLY help with nighttime sleeping. Make sure you let your babe nurse whenever she wants! It's so, so good for her, and it will really foster lots of love between the two of you.
Good luck, and hang in there! Let us know if any of this helps.


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## Megs Mom (Mar 19, 2002)

Dr. Sears also has a new-ish Baby Sleep Book.


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## 2xshy (Nov 27, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ruthla* 
Babies will often wake up more to eat at night if they haven't gotten enough to eat during the day. So, trying to stretch out her feedings in the daytime can lead to MORE night-waking, rather than less. Nurse her as often as she wants to nurse- and she just might be able to get enough milk in the day that she won't need to eat as much at night.

Having the baby in bed next to mama really makes those night time nursings a lot easier. Some families start the baby in a crib, then move the baby to the big bed the first time he or she wakes during the night.









:


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## Deer Hunter (Sep 26, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyCM* 
Thank you all for welcoming me... I hope I will find some help.

Re nursing on demand - it is noraml that she wants eat very hour?


Absolutely. It is very normal. Baby's tummy is very, very tiny, and scheduled feedings almost make a baby feel very deprived and starved. I know that this is never ever your intention, as you really want the best for your child, but, unlike you, who is clearly proactive and open to doing the very best to help your baby, many just blindly follow training advice, convinced that they are doing it for the baby's good, when they've actually not taken the time to understand how it makes baby feel. I could not imagine having to be forced to stick to a very rigid schedule and not be fed, even though I'm desperately hungry, despite my pleeing, hardest crying, and protesting desperately to have that need fulfilled only because it wasn't my scheduled feeding time. I'd be very upset.

I'm a firm believer of feeding a baby on demand. After all, they are just little versions of human beings with needs. We eat when we are hungry, we are not forced to follow a very rigid eating schedule. Babies should be treated the same. Their little bodies are made up just the same as ours. It is no different, really. I'm not one for the baby training thing. It hardly is beneficial for baby. When baby's cues are followed, rather than some advice to train, and you follow your heart, rather than some advice an expert or doctor gives you to train your baby, you'll notice things will change for the better, turn around, and you'll have a much happy, more fulfilled, and very content baby.

When i care for children, i try to go by one principle, and it has really helped me. I do onto that baby or child as i want done to me. In doing this, I'd not want to be trained, but I'd want to do what felt good and comfortable. I'd not like to be put on a feeding schedule. I'd want to eat because I know my own body, and I know I'm hungry. Baby can communicate this need also. This may be very hard to understand at first since you've probably been swarmed with the advice to train train train, but just try to step outside of it and just listen to the cues of your baby. Baby is very capable of communicating what she needs when she needs it, not when someone is deciding it for her. Baby can communicate a multitude of things, and it is so wonderful when you give her the opportunity to be free and be herself. So many beautiful things will unfold. And you'll see your baby as a beautiful individual, not merely as an extention of you that must be mannaged and kept under complete control. Also, allowing her to communicate her rather than keep her to a rigid schedule will teach her that it is okay to assert her own needs. The earlier a child learns assertion, the better.

You are an awesome mother. I just had to tell you. See if my advice works. Let me know what you think. Keep up the good work. I know you only want what is best for your little bundle of joy, or else, you'd not have come here to ask questions. Your proactiveness shows you really care. I hope things go well for you soon, Mama. Way to go being open minded.

To help you in your new and exciting journey, I'd strongly recommend you read "The Baby Book," written by Doctor William Sears. It is a very awesome book, and it will help you in so many ways, as it wil most certainly address many of your concerns as a first time mommy. It really is a good read! You'll really enjoy it! I can guarantee you that.

P.S. If you try feeding on demand, and she is still waking during the night and it is causing you to feel dragged down, perhaps, you and your partner can take turns dealing with night wakings, so the both of you can get adequate sleep to avoid you taking desperate measures, such as allowing the baby to Cry it out. One night, you can deal with her night wakings, the next night, he can. Caring for a baby is very similar to being a care giver for a mentally challenged or ill person, of which I've done both. It can be exhausting, and you will need breaks at times. Being a care giver means that the person you are caring for will depend on you twenty-four/seven, and hwile you love your baby so very much, you need to rest up. This is the reason I suggested taking turns.

I cared for a friend who was suffering liver failure. He is doing better now due to some meds he is on, but when he was ill, I and a few friends had to take turns. He was a horrible sleeper. He woke in pain all the time. not to mention, he had many needs that had to be met night and day. So, in order for us to provide optimal care, we took turns and had rest periods.

I hope that all that i've shared with you has helped and will serve as a source of encouragement.


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## jmmom (Sep 11, 2007)

Some more advice for the periods of frequent nightwakings: try napping with your babe during the day. This is what I do, and it really helps! Your baby does need a well-rested mommy.


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## MommyCM (Dec 25, 2008)

thanks everyone for your advice

so.... if i nurse on demand - all the time night and day, how do i get anything done? How do I leave my house, or do what I need around the house?

She used to sleep 6 hours straight at night - no more. We were also thinking that it's teething, but this has been for like 6 weeks and we don't see any teeth yet. How long will this go?

I don't sleep well when she is nursing so I end up waking exhausted in the morning. Any tips to nurse/ sleep better without feeling her nurse?

ANy chance she'll get back on her old sleep pattern or are those nights gone?


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyCM* 
thanks everyone for your advice

so.... if i nurse on demand - all the time night and day, how do i get anything done? How do I leave my house, or do what I need around the house?

She used to sleep 6 hours straight at night - no more. We were also thinking that it's teething, but this has been for like 6 weeks and we don't see any teeth yet. How long will this go?

I don't sleep well when she is nursing so I end up waking exhausted in the morning. Any tips to nurse/ sleep better without feeling her nurse?

ANy chance she'll get back on her old sleep pattern or are those nights gone?

What kinds of things are you wanting/needing to get done? I can do a lot with ds in a carrier on my back.










-Angela


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## colleentara (Aug 12, 2008)

Hi there--I just wanted to give my two cents about the reflux. I have a reflux baby... Maybe your LO is in pain? There is an incredibly helpful forum: www.infantreflux.org/forum
this might give you some help.

I can totally relate about wanting to 'get things done'. everyone will tell you to sleep when the baby sleeps--but sometimes it makes you feel better to just do something alone for once. That said, try to nap at least once a day with the baby...

hang in there!
--colleen


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## jmmom (Sep 11, 2007)

You can also put your babe in an Ergo or something on your front, put her on the breast, and get stuff done like that! And if you need to leave the house, just take her with you. My babe nursed a lot more often than it sounds like yours did - and you can just work with it and figure it out. Honestly, sometimes I miss the heavy nursing times...they are so peaceful, and you get read a ton!
Re: sleeping better while nursing - I use 2 pillows at my head, and also remember that nursing usually makes you sleepy, too...try to go with whatever sleep-inducing hormones you're getting from it.
Their teeth bother them whenever they are shifting in the gums, long before you see them. You'll get a break from time to time, but teething can be tough for some kids for a full 2 years.
I'm sure her sleeping patterns will get better soon. Make sure you're sleeping with her - your sleep cycles will end up being in sync, so that you both expereince lighter sleep and waking at the same time, instead of her waking you from a deep sleep - you'll have a lot less sleep deprivation if you're co-sleeping, even if she's still waking often.
Good luck!


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## tinyblackdot (Aug 31, 2007)

DD takes about 2 months from the start of her teething until when they have finally cut through......

my nephew cuts teethi in a matter of hours it seems!All kids are diffrent!


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## aprilv (Aug 31, 2007)

the 'my baby used to sleep 6 hours and now wakes up constantly' thing seems to happen to most of the babies i know around 4 months or so. they seem to go through cycles- sometimes they sleep well and sometimes they don't. it's NOT anything you're doing wrong, it's just how babies are- maybe it's teething, maybe it's developmental advances...who knows. but it happens to a lot of us.

i think you might get used to nursing her at night after a while, especailly if you find a way to make yourself really comfortable- pillows behind your back, etc. it took me some time before i could sleep while ds nursed- it's such a weird thing when it's new!!

i know this is tough, i have been right where you are. it will get better!!!


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## hipumpkins (Jul 25, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tinyblackdot* 
DD takes about 2 months from the start of her teething until when they have finally cut through......

my nephew cuts teethi in a matter of hours it seems!All kids are diffrent!

My Dd was a very fast teether...DS Holy cow his teeth took FORVER!!

Anyway..here's little crazy tip that you might just think is off the wall but it really can help.
Upon the 1st waking take off her diaper and let her pee into a little plastic receptacle. Many people misread the "I feel uncomfortable b/c my bladder is full" cry as a hungry cry.
You can use a little Tupperware bowl (one you want to use again).
you might be thinking, "she is only 5 mos old..she doesn't know she is peeing" but that actually isn't true and babies do get uncomfortable with full bladders.
They nurse all night and of course their little bladders get full. sure you can let her pee in the dipe but it isn't the same and they may not completely empty their bladder.
to learn more..head over to the forum Elimination communication (Under the diapering heading)
I am not trying to push E/C on you but really it can help your baby sleep more soundly.
Good luck!


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## MegBoz (Jul 8, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aprilv* 
the 'my baby used to sleep 6 hours and now wakes up constantly' thing seems to happen to most of the babies i know around 4 months or so.









Yup! 4.5 mos for me!

Although this change also coincided with me bringing him into my bed. I got rid of his basinette- gave it to my sister when my nephew was born, but DS was out-growing it anyway.

But I really think it's also just the fact that DS is used to BFing-to-Sleep, so I'm trying to break that so I can help him fall asleep in other ways in hopes that I won't have to wake up every 1-2 hours all night. I'm having a very rough time with being up every 1-2 hours. I wake up to latch on DS, I don't trust him to do it himself. (He always was a lousy latcher, I have to help or he'll suck on just the nipple - then I'll be back in excruciating pain & _that_ is worse than the lack of sleep!)
I'm trying "The No Cry Sleep Solution" By Pantley (Elizabeth? I think). I got it out of the library.


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Nursing to sleep is normal.

Would it be better if you had to get up and rock him, walk him or bounce him every time he woke during the night?

I'm way too attached to my sleep for that









-Angela


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

:There are babies who only eat every 3 hours? That's some efficient sucking.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Nursing every hour during the day helped me not notice nursing at night. Even during the day I'll sometimes have to look to see if she's still sucking because she does it so much the sensation doesn't really register.

Also, nursing a lot during the day could help her need to nurse a bit less at night (emphasis on could) because she won't be trying to make up for the feedings she's missing during the day.

It's worth a shot anyway and definitely better than spending 45 minutes trying to not nurse.


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## jmmom (Sep 11, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alegna* 
Nursing to sleep is normal.

Would it be better if you had to get up and rock him, walk him or bounce him every time he woke during the night?

I'm way too attached to my sleep for that









-Angela









:

I think - and I know lots of other moms who feel the same way - that nursing to sleep, for a long, long time, like 2.5 years - is very often the easiest way to get babe to sleep and to deal with any periods of more frequent waking. My nephew didn't nurse to sleep, and when he went through a tough spot at around 11-12 months, my sil had to wake up every hour, walk to his room, and be with him until he fell asleep again - because lo and behold, since she'd taught him not to rely on nursing to sleep, he _wouldn't_ fall asleep nursing! I also know someone whose 8 month old, after being trained to rock to sleep next to his crib and then sleep in his crib, would _only sleep in his crib - kind of a drag, since babes still nap a lot at that age, and it's easiest to be able to wear them if you want to go out for a hike, for coffee with a friend, whatever. Of course, I'm sure other moms could tell you about cases where they trained their babes not to nurse to sleep, and it went great - although weeks of training is never easy imo, and it doesn't always work! Or stick! This is why I recommend co-sleeping to parents - I really, really do think that, in a lot of cases, it's the easiest and most peaceful way to go. I'm sure some will disagree, I'm just sharing my experience.

Good luck!_


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## SiobhanAoife (Jun 10, 2008)

What about babies who don't want to cosleep? As in bedshare.

My baby sleeps in a bassinet pushed right beside me, but won't fall asleep in bed with me. I've tried! She sleeps fine during the night, but for the love of all things holy, I cannot get her to nap during the day anywhere except in the sling against my body while I am in motion. I desperately wish that I could get her to sleep beside me in bed, so that *I* could nap, but she is completely uninterested in it. She'll nurse in bed with me sidelying but will not will not will not fall asleep. And I'm not willing to let her cry it out lying in bed miserable next to me... If bedsharing is the standard advice, what do you do with babies who don't want to bed share?


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SiobhanAoife* 
What about babies who don't want to cosleep? As in bedshare.

My baby sleeps in a bassinet pushed right beside me, but won't fall asleep in bed with me. I've tried! She sleeps fine during the night, but for the love of all things holy, I cannot get her to nap during the day anywhere except in the sling against my body while I am in motion. I desperately wish that I could get her to sleep beside me in bed, so that *I* could nap, but she is completely uninterested in it. She'll nurse in bed with me sidelying but will not will not will not fall asleep. And I'm not willing to let her cry it out lying in bed miserable next to me... If bedsharing is the standard advice, what do you do with babies who don't want to bed share?









Any chance you've got family or friends who'd be willing to walk around with her in the sling while you nap?

Also, I often nap while Lina nurses. She doesn't have to be asleep for you to nap.


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 

Also, I often nap while Lina nurses. She doesn't have to be asleep for you to nap.









:

put babe in the middle of the bed with toys, nurse if you can and snooze.

Works until they can crawl off or over you.

-Angela


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## SiobhanAoife (Jun 10, 2008)

Part of the problem (unsurprisingly!) is me -- I haven't been able to actually nap during nursing, though we keep trying. I can nod off and jerk awake over and over and over again, but not actually nod off and snooze. Maybe once she can actually play with toys (she's only 11 weeks, so she bats at toys above her but doesn't really yet pick up and play with a toy, for more than a few seconds) I can get her to hang out beside me while I crash. Sapphire, my husband actually stayed home from work yesterday morning and put her in the moby and took a two hour walk so that I could sleep, which was a GODSEND -- but unfortunately can't happen very often due to his job.

Maybe I should advertise for a babysitter who's willing to sling and walk for two hour stretches, bringing her back to me to nurse in between


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## BunnySlippers (Oct 30, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyCM* 
thanks everyone for your advice

so.... if i nurse on demand - all the time night and day, how do i get anything done? How do I leave my house, or do what I need around the house?
WEll you either don't get things done, or you do them in between nursing, or you do them while holding you babe, or have your babe in a carrier.

She used to sleep 6 hours straight at night - no more. We were also thinking that it's teething, but this has been for like 6 weeks and we don't see any teeth yet. How long will this go? until the teeth come out?

I don't sleep well when she is nursing so I end up waking exhausted in the morning. Any tips to nurse/ sleep better without feeling her nurse?
practise









ANy chance she'll get back on her old sleep pattern or are those nights gone?
Well, she will only bbe a baby once, so no those nights are not gone forever. They me gone for awhile. My best advice, stop fighting this, go with her needs and enjoy your wee babe, someday she will be big and you will cherish these sleep deprived days of baby camped out at your breast

Congrats on being a mom, and welcome to MDC!


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## jmmom (Sep 11, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SiobhanAoife* 
Part of the problem (unsurprisingly!) is me -- I haven't been able to actually nap during nursing, though we keep trying. I can nod off and jerk awake over and over and over again, but not actually nod off and snooze. Maybe once she can actually play with toys (she's only 11 weeks, so she bats at toys above her but doesn't really yet pick up and play with a toy, for more than a few seconds) I can get her to hang out beside me while I crash. Sapphire, my husband actually stayed home from work yesterday morning and put her in the moby and took a two hour walk so that I could sleep, which was a GODSEND -- but unfortunately can't happen very often due to his job.

Maybe I should advertise for a babysitter who's willing to sling and walk for two hour stretches, bringing her back to me to nurse in between









I only have a sec, but I had trouble with what you describe until my babe was a little older, maybe 3 months or so? Have you tried switch nursing or some other way to help her get a really big nurse in, so she can sleep a bit better? That's what it took for us, but my memory of that time is a little fuzzy. It did get better, though, and I still nap each afternoon with my toddler!


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