# SOOO sad!



## Grantsmommy (Jan 18, 2002)

I m/c for the second time almost 4 weeks ago now. I thought I was doing better, but I can't stop crying today! I saw a pg woman at the gym this morning and almost lost it. Then, I was at my son's Montessori, and another mother had her new baby there. Grant wanted to see the baby and touch the baby...it broke my heart to see how his face lit up when he looked at that baby.








I wonder if anyone else out there experienced a relapse of depressing emotions close to your first cycle after a m/c? The first time I m/c I had a more painful period the first month. This time, I feel like I can't control my emotions at all. And the eating! I know I'm eating trying to find comfort, but it's not working.







: I wish I could just feel normal again. I know the grieving process is different for each of us. I guess I just need more support than I initially thought.
Thanks! Dawn


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## Christi (Nov 21, 2001)

When I had my m/c I had very strong emotional feelings about it for months. I had several friends who were preg with me and when they each delivered I has overflow of emotions. My Best friend went into labor the day we found out that the baby had died. Talk about bitter sweet. I didn't really experience more emotions when I was having my period. I also gained about thirty pounds in the 6 months afterwards. I think that it is very normal to have this kind of sadness. Sorry about your losses.


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## JessicaS (Nov 18, 2001)

Oh that is very sad...







I am so sorry for your losses, different things will probably remind you for awhile...

what a sweet boy,


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## Ms. Mom (Nov 18, 2001)

Dawn, I think it's also a normal greif reaction. Grief is like a rollercoster ride. You can be happy one moment and on the ground pounding your fists screaming the next.

It's all ok Dawn. You've been through a horrible time and I'm so sorry for your losses. It really hurts. Unlike losing someone you know, your body is also adjusting to this loss. Your hormones are up and down and that too plays on your emotional status.

As far as your period - it can differ for each woman for each miscarriage. There's no hard fast rules - it's all unique. Please know that your emotions are ok - let yourself feel them, explore them and move through your greif.

As you do this, remember to care for yourself. Eat small, but healthy meals throughout the day. Try to avoid over filling or too much time between meals - grazing is a good choice right now to keep your body energized and nurished. Drink water like crazy. Many women find Evening Primrose and Flax Seed Oil to be helpfull to even out hormones. Both are very safe during pregnancy and nursing.

Please keep us posted on how your doing. Don't be afraid to cry here and share your emotions. So many of us have felt the same way and we offer you a shoulder whenever you need it.

Gently,

Jacque


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

I m/c in november. I still get hysterical about it and beg dh to ttc. He always says no which makes it harder. I have a friend that has a babe 2 days older than ds..she found out last week she was pg. This was the hardest for me. Pg women have been hard and new babes have been hard. But this was the worst. It brought it too much to my mind that that could be me...almost exactly....

I live with the hope that it will, not go away, but get better as time goes. I'm still dreading my edd......

As for first cycle...mine was 64 days past my m/c...so i was actually worried about being pg again! It was worse than my m/c.

Take care of yourself!


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## Abylite (Jan 3, 2003)

I'm sorry about your loss...

I m/c 2 months ago. I felt sad for a long time (few weeks after)...then about a month ago I went to a baby shower which triggered more strong emotions.

This week has been tough...I got my period after TCC for the first time since.

Take care of yourself. I don't have much advice because I think I am in the same boat as you....


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## KatherineinCA (Apr 4, 2002)

I know that for me, my period is a time when my emotions "force" me to deal with them. My feelings get way more intense and impossible to ignore. This has been particularly noticeable during the two cycles since Kyle died. It might be a good idea to try to plan for that time, to make sure you take it easy and are especially gentle with yourself.

It is so hard to have two losses back to back. I experienced that five years ago, and wow, it was hard.

Hugs to you, Grantsmommy...

Katherine


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## Grantsmommy (Jan 18, 2002)

I'm at a loss for words, KatherineinCA. I know how hard it was and is to be going through two consecutive m/c, but to lose a young son...how do you go on? It must be incredibly difficult. I imagine that your two other living children are what help you get through - the need to mother them. My heart goes out to you.

We all have different things to deal with, don't we? At least we know that we're not alone.

Love to all - Dawn


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## Grantsmommy (Jan 18, 2002)

Got my period this morning...28 days from my m/c. It was the same thing the first time I m/c. I guess my body physically snaps back quickly. I feel better, stronger emotionally today. I really think everything was magnified by my impending arrival of AF.
I feel like I'm getting pretty good at this m/c thing. Not really something I would chose to be proficient at, KWIM?
Thanks again for all the support.
Dawn


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## KatherineinCA (Apr 4, 2002)

Dawn--

Thanks so much for your kind thoughts. To be honest, I don't know how I'm going on...I guess I just am.

I'm glad you're feeling stronger today.

Hugs to you Dawn, and to you Abylite...

Katherine


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## karenpl (Dec 18, 2001)

{{{{{{{{ Dawn }}}}}}}}}}}

Just wanted to give you some tight hugs. I think a period just kind of is a very visual and physical reminder of what isn't anymore and can intensify the grief.

So sorry!

Sending hugs and healing vibes your way!

Karen


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## LizD (Feb 22, 2002)

-sigh- It might not help to hear it, but I know how you feel. It's the continuous reminder of the baby's absence and your potential to make babies in the first place. I had an unplanned pregnancy right after the terrorist attacks along with two friends! Only one of us made it to term! I also almost lost my marriage over continuing the pregnancy and, it's_our_family, I know how you feel when you just want to replace it (as if anything could), fix it, heal it, and your husband says no. I almost feel it's easier to bear for those who at least know the babe was wanted and they can try again. Forgive me, those who are trying, because I don't mean that to sound trite or insensitive. Everyone has their own permutation of a very complex experience, and that makes it hard, too. As hard as it is to feel open and selfless around pregnant women and new babies, do your best, because it opens you up again and helps in the long run. Lots of love to everyone here.


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## aimeemac (Apr 17, 2002)

So sorry for your losses. I miscarried our first child three years ago (2-15-2000) and I still feel all sorts of emotions. I did go on to have a baby boy and girl, who I believe carry a part of their brother or sister with them. Know that it is like a rollercoaster ride, you feel highs and lows.....this is normal. I hope posting here gives you some comfort.


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## Grantsmommy (Jan 18, 2002)

Today was the due date for my first m/c. I have been quite overwhelmed by my feelings and know that it has been hard on my husband, too. Let me clarify...the m/c wasn't hard, but the living with someone who's sad has been hard. I'm "wallowing" to use his words. Before everyone starts slamming him, I know he's right. I have been sort of wallowing. It just seems like I can't break out of it. He pointed out that if we had just had a baby, I would be exhausted and feeling upset because of that situation, but because we lost the last two pg I'm focusing on that. Ever get the feeling that men think we just look for stuff to be upset about? If we had the first baby, I never would have been sad about miscarrying, and if I was still pg with the last m/c, I wouldn't be as upset about today's date!

Anyway, I just needed to express my feelings. Luckily I have several friends who have gone through m/c too, so I don't feel alone.

I'm coming up on another period so maybe that is adding to my emotional state. I would just like to feel normal again, KWIM?

Dawn


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

Men just don't understand........well...they don't always understand!

The fact is that you would have been upset i you were still pg about the first m/c. I don't think anything would have changed that. My family is supposed to come visit us around the time that our baby would have been due...I do not want them here the week of my due date...no one seems to understand why. I can tell them a list of reasons why. 1. I will be sad! Nothing will change that 2.My granma is going to be here...and my own mother insisted that she not know about it...how can I explain my mood to her??

We cannot put on a happy face when our hearts are breaking. Maybe it gets easier with each passing year......


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## naturegirl (Apr 16, 2002)

Dawn







. I have been thinking about you a lot lately. I am so sorry about your m/c's. I am still over two months away from the due date of my m/c and getting very sad already.









There is nothing I can say to make the pain go away but I hope that knowing we are thinking about you makes you feel a little bit better.


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## Grantsmommy (Jan 18, 2002)

Thanks to all of you.

I was right...got af last night (5 days early). My cycle is messed up I guess. I feel a little better today. I know each day is different though.

My good friend is in early labor as we speak and she's asked me to help coach her through it. Her first birth experience was not so great and then she had 2 m/c. I'm honored to have been asked. She's the only pg woman that doesn't make my heart ache. Maybe because I know she has had the same problems I've had.

Thanks again for all the positive vibes!
Dawn


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