# This is what erks me about my hubby



## khaoskat (May 11, 2006)

Many remember my thread....well here is why I call him at times....

Called around 5:00 p.m. Said he had to stop by the bank and deposit money, and then get some money for one of the sub contractors. He was going to stop by the shop and drop the money off, then come home. He was already at the bank, so 45 mins would be plenty of time. I started cleaning potatos and cutting them. Well, needless to say I am throwing them in the trash. They have already started to turn brown waiting on him to show up. It is now 6:00 and he is just now leaving the shop.

He failed to tell me he was going to wait until 6:00 p.m. for a customer to show up and pick something up. So, none of the family will get dinner tonight, and we will all goto bed hungry.

1) He wants to go hang out with friends tonight at 8:00, and he wont go w/o me.
2) He has promised someone from freecycle that we will pick up a television tonight he is going to fix for his cousin.
3) To pick the television up, he has to clean out the back of the van, which is going to take about 20 minutes.

To get this all done, we needed to have had dinner at 6:00. *ARG*!!!!!!!

I think he is now finally on his way home...maybe...so he will get home around 6:15-6:20, clean out the car, and we can leave around 7:00 to pick up the television and then to go hang out with his friends.

Edit --

I am amazed, he decided to not go hang out with friends tonight....but he still wants to go get the TV and it is like 8:40 at night...

*sigh*


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## mommysusie (Oct 19, 2006)

You need to tell that you cannot wait for him everynight, and you are going to start to go ahead and cook dinner and if he's there fine, if he's not, you and the kids are going to eat without him.
khaoskat, do you have a job or interests outside the house? It might be a good idea for you to get involved in something.


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## Baby Makes 4 (Feb 18, 2005)

I would have eaten without him too. He can eitehr heat his dinner up later or eat it cold.

Sorry he didn't take your needs into consideration more.


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## bu's mama (Mar 25, 2004)

mama - my brother is like this & I know how frustrating it can be.

I totally agree with not waiting for him to eat. He said he'd be there, you have dinner ready for that time, it's his loss. There is no reason to punish your whole family for his lack of consideration, especially just to throw good food away. And if you do this a few times, he will start to see your serious & hopefully make more of an effort.

GL


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## lolalapcat (Sep 7, 2006)

Yeah, that would drive me nuts too.

I certainly wouldn't go hungry because of his lack of organization though.

It's the old adage, "p*ss poor prior planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine." Not the nicest sentiment, but I do take it to heart. When a customer calls at the absolute last minute asking for the impossible...not my problem. I'll help as much as possible, but I can't correct their lack of planning, and I'm not going to let them make my blood pressure go up. (Like the people who wanted me to be at work ON Thanksgiving Day, because of their poor planning....ummm, no.)

Anyhow. What I'm trying to say is, schedule supper time. If your DH is late, offer to sit at the table while he eats his supper, maybe have the kids join you at the table with dessert. Compromise. Don't go hungry, but don't make him eat alone.

But you are definitely justified in being irked by his 'schedule'!

At least he is doing something nice for his cousin, and has friends, and wants you to go too....it sounds like he needs work, but at least there is something to work with.

Good luck, khaoskat. Keep us posted.

Keri


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## khaoskat (May 11, 2006)

Come to find out, the reason he had to wait, was the fact that his two employees didn't show up at all for work yesterday. There were about $1,000 worth of sales that people were supposed to show up and make (scheduled sales). He was there when the first one came in...and then when the second guy was supposed to come in, he found out that they hadn't even completed the work that needed to be done for that sale...

No one has heard from the two employees since like 10:00 a.m. yesterday...


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## keljo05 (Dec 9, 2006)

I understand why you are angry. My DH does that all the time. What I completely don't understand is why you waited so long and had to throw dinner out and then say no one eats because he was late. Because your husband wasn't clear on what happened at work - your entire family went to bed hungry? How is that fair to the rest of the household? I would have just made sure he had nothing and let only him go to bed hungry.


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## khaoskat (May 11, 2006)

Opps, sorry, thought I had put that in...we ate dinner, really late, but we got dinner in. We didn't get started making dinner till 6:30 though, so it was around 7:30 when we ate.

I hadn't cooked the potato's yet, and because I had cut them up so much earlier, then had turned brown (had been sitting out ready for me to cook them for about 45 minutes).


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## k9sarchik (Nov 11, 2006)

Since you have kids it's tough because I'm sure that you want to have everyone together for dinner time.

But I can relate.....my DH does the same thing.







: He says I'll be home at 6:00 and he's home at 6:30 or 6:45. Bugs the heck outta me. I am in the routine now that I tell him what time dinner is ready. He has plenty of notice. If he is not home when it's ready then I eat without him and he has to reheat his own food. It's not my job to keep it hot and fresh.

First you need to tell him how it makes you feel when he does this all the time. Also maybe you can come to some sort of compromise that he doesn't need to come home for dinner on time every night.
Just some ideas.


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## BethanyB (Nov 12, 2005)

I posted on your previous thread, and I'm not sure why you are still waiting for him to get home before you feed the kids. Have you talked to him about this? Seriously, since you are the one doing the cooking, you should decide when the kids eat. If he can't respect you enough to at least fill you in on when he's going to be late, then he can microwave his damn dinner. This situation won't be resolved until you do something about it; don't wait for _him_ to change b/c it might not ever happen.


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## momuveight2B (Mar 17, 2006)

If you put the potatos in water then they will not turn brown. I agree dinner is at whatever time you decide is best for the children's sake because I know mine can't wait after about five pm. My husband usually is able to get home on time but if he can't he knows I will serve dinner and save him a plate in the fridge. Thank goodness for microwaves! No reason at all why this should be an issue. I understand your frustration but take control of the parts you can and let the rest go. The idea to save desert is a good one too. If you really want to wait on him every night then use a crockpot or some way that allows you to be flexible with serving times. Have a snack like cheese and crackers or crudites that can be out on the counter while you wait.


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## HoosierDiaperinMama (Sep 23, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BethanyB* 
I posted on your previous thread, and I'm not sure why you are still waiting for him to get home before you feed the kids. Have you talked to him about this? Seriously, since you are the one doing the cooking, you should decide when the kids eat. If he can't respect you enough to at least fill you in on when he's going to be late, then he can microwave his damn dinner. This situation won't be resolved until you do something about it; don't wait for _him_ to change b/c it might not ever happen.









: Every word of it.


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## Ambrose (Apr 20, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *khaoskat* 
He was already at the bank, so 45 mins would be plenty of time. I started cleaning potatos and cutting them. Well, needless to say I am throwing them in the trash. They have already started to turn brown waiting on him to show up. It is now 6:00 and he is just now leaving the shop.

I'm assuming you are talking about peeling and cutting potatoes to make closer to when he is home? I haven't read the rest of the thread- but I've always peeled and cut up the potatos and then put them in a pot of cool water when I am not sure when I need to start making them. It works really well. The water gets a little cloudy but doesn't hurt anything.


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