# ds is nearly 6 and wants to start nursing again



## noranorth (Jul 4, 2002)

My ds is going to be 6 is a couple months and wants to start nursing again. He weaned at 3 when I was pregnant with his brother, and over the last couple years only rarely asked to nurse again (and I let him). But now he wants to nurse every night before sleeping. At first I've let him, but now I'm feeling like "gosh, he's about to start 1st grade, isn't this a bit too long". His brother is 2 and still nursing all every couple hours. For the last 2 nights, I've offered my older son the option of snuggling close and holding my breast instead of nursing, which he does, but he criess and says it so unfair that he can't nurse, and he likes it better than pop.

What do you think mamas? Should I reconsider and let him nurse? Has anyone had an older child want to come back to nurse again?


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## Elana (May 18, 2004)

I have no experiance with a boy that age, so can't give you much advice over there, but my dd, now 4.5, likes to pretend that she's nursing. I think that with her it's a jealousy thing. I don't want her to start nursing again, so I let her pretend and she's happy with that. I also say things to her like, "so you want to be babby sometimes huh?" or "nursing looks like lots of fun to you, I see". Or, I'll talk to her about all the times she nursed as a baby and toddler. I'll tell her cute nursing stories, which she loves to hear.

In general I also talk to her lots of how we give everyone in the family what they *need*. For instance, she gets to go to preschool , which she loves, Maayan doesn't cause she's different and needs different things. etc. I our case, this works.

I'm sure the other mamas will have lots of advice, though!


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## gigismom (Nov 26, 2001)

This is similar to my current situation. My dd weaned about 11 months ago at about age 4. I became pg shortly thereafter and am due July 3. She weaned herself and was very ready to stop at the time. Lately, she wants to cuddle, hold, and kiss my breasts a lot (which she has done occasionally since weaning but much more recently). She tells me she misses nursing but has not yet asked to nurse. I realize she is getting ready for baby and I would never refuse her but I am getting annoyed with sharing my body in so many ways. I don't want to hijack your post but here are my thoughts... I have to be available to her and not let her see my impatience but at the same time she has to respect my feelings too. We talk about when she nursed and how much she loved it. We talk about the other physically close things we do now instead of nursing (cuddling, rocking in chair, playing tent under blankets...) We talk about how babies need to nurse and why and how I've always met her needs... even though now they have changed (and will continue to do so). She seems fine with all of this. No major anxiety.
I'd love to hear how other mamas have dealt with similar situations. I know that this is not uncommon

Jen


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## mom2threenurslings (Jul 16, 2002)

Hmmmm...it's such a personal decision. Are you comfortable with it? If so, why not let him nurse? If not, then it's not a mutual desire, so you can tell him that, although it would be really nice for him to be able to nurse, that it's time for him to be done (or something like that).

I have a 5.5 year old son who has two younger siblings who are nursing. He was triandem nursing with them until he self-weaned on his fifth birthday. He now says that he's going to "re-nurse" on his sixth birthday. We'll see what happens! (Personally, I'll let him try if he wants to. )


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## MamaAllNatural (Mar 10, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *noranorth*
he cries and says it so unfair that he can't nurse, and he likes it better than pop.

From how he's feeling about it I think, if you're comfortable with it, give it a go. That 'better than pop' comment is just too cute!







Good luck.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *mom2threenurslings*
He now says that he's going to "re-nurse" on his sixth birthday.

That's adorable!







Reminds me of 're-lactating.' :LOL


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## lizziejean (Feb 8, 2003)

For me - I wouldn't let him. It seems to me that there are other things that would meet his need that wouldn't take so much away from you, and wouldn't be so emotionally charged for the two of you. It's not like it's an easy thing to stop once you've got into the habit.

I am currently tandem nursing my 3.5 year old and my almost-2 year old. I am SO ready for the 3.5 year old to wean, so this is coloring my perspective of your situation. I am starting to suspect that the 'natural age of weaning' as per K. Dettwyler is really just the age at which even the most loving mother human, chimp, whatever says OK THAT'S IT you're ENORMOUS get OFF me... and if mothers didn't, the kids would still be nursing in high school! Seriously I do not think my dd would ever stop, would ever give up the opportunity to extract the juice of my core being... it somehow gives her so much of my attention and so much of my self, it gives her such power, I can't see her ever giving that up.

Wow that turned into a rant, sorry. Might be better to ignore my point of view on this one since I'm a bit biased right now!


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## Camellia (Jun 2, 2004)

When my baby was born 6 weeks ago my 5.5 y/o son wanted to nurse. I talked to him about each persons needs and about the days when he needed to nurse etc... I wasn't comfortable with him actually nursing even though I wanted to let him. I weaned him at 14months before I knew the benefits of ebf..so I have some guilt (or just wish I knew more at the time..)

I offered to pump some milk and let him drink it that way. He was very pleased with this and hasn't asked to nurse since,

He was really nice about it when he asked. He said "Please mom, I promise I won't use my teeth or anything"

I say, if you are comfortable with it, let him! If not, you might offer to pump a little for him.


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## WithHannahsHeart (Apr 22, 2003)

I also would not be at all comfortable with it, and as other posters have mentioned, i would talk with him about how you could meet his needs for closeness in other ways. Even wonderful things must have their end







.


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## LittlebitsMommy (Feb 24, 2003)

I know I am not you, but I would have to say. I would let him nurse if you are okay with it. I am nursing Bit who is 4 and if he was to wean and then wanted to try and nurse again at 6 I would let him try again. I wish you the very best. Follow your heart. Do what it tells you to do not what others might tell you to do.


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## MotherWoman (Nov 19, 2001)

I agree with the folks who say do what feels comfortable. My son appears to be finally weaned at 7!!! I never thought we would go this long, but it always seemed too traumatic for him when I tried to stop. I read in a Mothering article a while back that other primates wean when they lose their baby/milk teeth -- well that makes some sense! I suggested stopping when he lost his first tooth, but then he began to dread that wonderful milestone, so I told him that I thought about it and we didn't have to stop. We did gradually slow down to just nursing at home (when I felt uncomfortable in public), then just at night unless there was a big boo-boo during the day, and finally, at his 7th birthday, to only at night and then only if there was a nightmare or other scare. He nursed once after turning 7, after a nightmare, and that was maybe 6 months ago -- we have finally weaned in a gentle manner! I am very glad we stayed with it, but it has been a journey.

Best wishes to you all!


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## ~Megan~ (Nov 7, 2002)

Me personally, I'd talk to him. I wouldn't be comfortable nursing a child of that age.
I'd worry (a lot) about what other people think if he told them but if you tell him not to tell then that is worrisome too.


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## AromaSade (May 23, 2004)

: Okay - this might sound different but it's my answer to everything...

*Carrot Juice*

Maybe your son could fall in love with a new flavor -
and it would be something you two could do together!

My son gets a serious kick out of helping me juice...

-the scrubbing, the noise of the juicer, the "rrrrrrr" of
the carrots turning to juice-

And then as soon as the juice is made and before I even think about
cleaning the juicer - we sit on the floor - each with our "juice-juice"
say *cheers ~ salute* -- click glasses
and have our daily carrot juice bonding session

It would be a healthy replacement for your son (and you) and
maybe he can let go of the ninny addiction








when he knows he has a new thing to do with you
that's special.

? maybe worth trying ?

Sadie
AKA - the Carrot Addict!


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## jplain (Aug 17, 2003)

Many years ago, my younger sister asked to nurse after she'd been weaned for a couple years. Our brother had just been born. My mom said "Sure, if you want to." My sister took one sip, giggled, declared that it tasted funny, and hopped off my mom's lap and ran off to play. She showed no further interest. Everyone was happy.


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## Changed (Mar 14, 2004)

m


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## A&A (Apr 5, 2004)

There's really nothing wrong with telling a previously-nursing child "no" once she/he has weaned. Then give a few extra hugs!!


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## Mama2Lennon (Jan 8, 2003)

It seems that there has been some emphasis on five being too old and feeling uncomfortable about the age of the child. This wouldn't be an issue if children were routinely breastfed past the two year mark. Contrary to how it may seem in the moment, children do stop breastfeeding, long before high school. They simply do not need it and mature to an age where they want to be independent and rely less and less on others for help. My four year old breastfeeds every night and every morning and very rarely during the day. I don't know how else we could have such a peaceful nighttime routine. It never fails, he always falls asleep. IMO, it's so comfortable and relaxing for me when he nurses at night. I read him some stories and then I get time to read stories myself while he drifts off. Your child will not start breastfeeding like a toddler all over again but probably just wants a little extra love and attention. The closeness that bf brings cannot be replaced. I can understand not wanting to bf in public with an older child, especially one that is half your height and stands to drink! Not everyone wants to draw that kind of attention to themselves. On the other hand, we need brave and courageous mama's to do it, to be seen, so it doesn't seem and look so strange.
I have heard about mamals weaning when they get there permanent molars in, or when they're milky teeth are gone. Humans develop a lot slower and we must respect our children's need to be nurtured as long as possible. If it physically hurts to bf your older child and it is physically uncomfortable, then don't do it. But, a little extra of mama's gold is always better than pop!
In the end, the most important thing is, trust your intuition!


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## Mommiska (Jan 3, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lizziejean*
I am starting to suspect that the 'natural age of weaning' as per K. Dettwyler is really just the age at which even the most loving mother human, chimp, whatever says OK THAT'S IT you're ENORMOUS get OFF me...

OK - this had me







:







:







:

I can relate, Lizziejean. I am currently nursing my 4.75 year old, my 3 year old and my 9 month old. And I have to grit my teeth to get through every nursing with my older two. I am VERY ready for them to stop (especially the oldest).

My situation was somewhat similar to that of the OP, in that my dd1 stopped nursing at her 4th birthday. Then nursed twice in the next six months or so. And now has been nursing every night for the past 2-3 months.

I always let her nurse, thinking that it would be a one-off and that would be it. And it was the first two times, but now she's back to nursing every night.

I'm again encouraging weaning (she can choose nursing or reading an extra bedtime story at bedtime - she chooses the story maybe 1-2 times a week now).

She says she'll wean at 5 - we'll see! I do think that the next time she stops nursing for 2-3 months or so, I think I will call it quits and explain that she is finished nursing if she asks after that.

All of this novel just to say what most other posters have said - do whatever feels right to you. There is nothing wrong with letting him nurse, if you are comfortable with that. And also nothing wrong with not letting him nurse, if that is what you prefer.

If you do let him nurse, it wouldn't surprise me if it was a one-off and that was that. But don't be surprised if it isn't a one-off. And unless you are really willing to let him start nursing again on a regular basis, I would think carefully about letting him nurse one (or perhaps explain that you are going to let him try nursing one more time, but that that is a 'farewell' nursing session, or something like that).


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## elvina (Jan 7, 2002)

I also agree with many of the others - go with what you feel is right. My daughter nursed till the eve of her 5th birthday. We had set a couple of cut off deadlines and discussed it lots but the time just wasnt right and then she seemed OK about it ending the night before her 5th birthday, we made a bit of a special night of it and said goodbye. We have however replaced it with a special night time routine which includes lots of hugs and kisses and I am always the last person to say goodnight to her. Occasionaly since giving up she has said "its not fair that Zak (22 months) gets boobie" but she is fine about it when I explain to her that she had loads more than Zak and had it till she was five. Maybe if you dont want to offer him the breast you could change your bedtime routine to something that really interests him, my daughter likes what she calls a massage which is more of a calm tickling session.

Whatever you decide to do follow your heart and do what feels right for both of you.


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## Healing1 (May 25, 2004)

Nora......Years ago (my son is 18) when I was pregnant with twins, and my son was still nursing just at night or nap time, I had an occasion to watch a PBS special about tandum nursing and the animal kingdom. I wish I would have taped it, as many women have the same questions. The apes start gently pushing their older offspring away during the 3rd trimester. Somehow, this made sense to me, and that is what I did. I made special time for the 2 of us, and gently re-routed his attention to something he enjoyed, like reading, or if he insisted, something more physical. I also let him know how big he was, and how we had to save the milk for the new babies. That his turn was over. It eventually sunk in, and he would say things like: "I love my Mommy, but the milk is for the new babies now. I'm done." It was kind of cute to hear him say those things to other people, like the other mothers in the neighborhood who would come over and were nursing their babies. They would give him positive reinforcement for his understanding.

I think letting him hold your other breast just confuses him and fosters jealousy.

I hope this helps.

Kathy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *noranorth*
My ds is going to be 6 is a couple months and wants to start nursing again. He weaned at 3 when I was pregnant with his brother, and over the last couple years only rarely asked to nurse again (and I let him). But now he wants to nurse every night before sleeping. At first I've let him, but now I'm feeling like "gosh, he's about to start 1st grade, isn't this a bit too long". His brother is 2 and still nursing all every couple hours. For the last 2 nights, I've offered my older son the option of snuggling close and holding my breast instead of nursing, which he does, but he criess and says it so unfair that he can't nurse, and he likes it better than pop.

What do you think mamas? Should I reconsider and let him nurse? Has anyone had an older child want to come back to nurse again?


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## mother_sunshine (Nov 25, 2001)

Noranorth, IMHO I think you should do what works for you and your family. If it feels right then go for it. I think that's awesome that your ds remembers how to nurse after such a long break! From what I've heard thus far they eventually forget how to latch on, but you proved that theory wrong







. I am nursing my dd who is 7 and I don't see any reason to make her wean just because society *currently* doesn't accept it as "normal". She asks, so it's normal. She brought herself down to nursing only once or twice a month now and is weaning when she's ready (and I'm behind her 100%).

Good luck whatever you choose!


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## mother_sunshine (Nov 25, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lizziejean*
I am starting to suspect that the 'natural age of weaning' as per K. Dettwyler is really just the age at which even the most loving mother human, chimp, whatever says OK THAT'S IT you're ENORMOUS get OFF me... and if mothers didn't, the kids would still be nursing in high school! Seriously I do not think my dd would ever stop, would ever give up the opportunity to extract the juice of my core being... it somehow gives her so much of my attention and so much of my self, it gives her such power, I can't see her ever giving that up.

Wow that turned into a rant, sorry. Might be better to ignore my point of view on this one since I'm a bit biased right now!










Your dd sounds like my dd when she was that age. It does get easier with even the most power-hungry child!

Also, Keep in mind that even the most observant and dedicated anthropologist hasn't observed every nursing session of a child, especially that of a mother and child at bedtime. If someone were observing my dd's nursing patterns they would have thought that she weaned at around 5 or 6 because for the past year or two she has only nursed at bedtime. K.Dettwyler has been wonderful for giving us perspective on nursing beyond 2+ years but I think her cut-off age is still a bit low. JMHO.


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## ariadne (Jul 16, 2003)

It sounds like ds is feeling a little left out and possibly jealous/envious of his sibling. I would consider talking to him about it and explain that this is a time for younger children and he experienced it and has grown past it - after all, he has been weaned. It is really OK to say no sometimes.


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## Sonrisa287 (Feb 25, 2004)

My daughter weened and potty trained herself at two. If she, at 6 years old, asked me to start wearing diapers again, I would not let her. It seems as though a child who wishes to return to nursing after having been weened for so long is needing something emotionally, something that he once found in breastfeeding.
Why not develop a new ritual? Something special, just for you and him! A new comfort ritual would meet his needs, reinforce the milestone of weening, and create a bond he will appreciate and cherish when his new sibling arrives.

A friend of mine began taking her 6 year old on "dates" when her second child was born. This was a special time for her and her son, and she used the opportunity to instil in him traditional values of "how to treat a lady." At 11, he is the sweetest, most polite and respectable young man I have ever known.
Good luck~


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## Sustainer (Sep 26, 2002)

If it were me, I would go ahead and breastfeed my 6 year old.


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## hunnybumm (Nov 1, 2003)

I am far from having to deal with such a situation, my DS is only 6 months. I agree with both sides on this one. If you and your son want to nurse, go for it. If either of you doesn't want to, then don't do it. I remember seeing a Judging Amy where the mother wanted to Bf her 8 yo son and was being taken to court by her sons father because he thought it wasn't right. Well it turned out the boy didn't really want to nurse anymore but felt pressured by the mom. I don't see this as being your case since he is the one asking, but I feel it should be mutual and you two should discuss it on a regular basis to make sure you both want to contiune. Before I had my son I thought "OMG I can't belive that child is still breastfeeding, gross!" well, my perspective has changed.









If you feel you don't want to nurse him then I agree with having another activity to take the place of the nursing. It seems like he may just be wanting some extra attention, so try and give it to him in one way or another. I hope you keep us posted, I am curious as to what you are going to do.


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

If you are comfortable with doing so, I would 100% encourage you to nurse DS until he no longer wants to.

DD weaned at 50 months and I was so happy about it. She is now 5 and I really wish she would go back to nursing. Not because I want her to, but because it seems like she misses it so much. She stopped being able to get milk and I said that probably meant she was done nursing and she agreed. She wasn't upset or anything--- she was happy and proud. I have no problem w.her nursing and not getting anything, but she *does* (which I find odd since she nursed through my pg w/no milk for months). It just seems to be so upsetting to her that she "can't" (I let her try on occasion, but when she gets nothing she gives up). On the other hand, in some ways I feel like she really is *done* but just is having a hard time somedays (the other day, DS had just nursed and I actually squeezed my breast while she was trying, when she pulled off saying there was no milk, milk was actually dripping, so in some ways I think she actually doesn't want to nurse, but wants there to be an outside force telling her not to instead of taking the responsibility for quitting herself).

Long novel.

Good luck and







to you and DS


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## oliviagoddess (Jan 10, 2003)

Whenever there is a great trauma in a child's life they want to revert to a previous, safe stage. In this case your 7 year old is reverting to an oral stage.

Please take a look at what might be causing this! It could be abuse of some sort (7 is the "right" age for pedophiles - for both girls and boys), bullies at school being extra mean to him or a death in the family. He could also be equating your love to nursing. He may fear that by nursing only the little baby, you don't love him anymore. Reasure him that you still have room for him in your heart, on your lap and even at the breast if that's what it takes.

I am not telling you to not nurse him. That is a decision you need to make for your particular situation. But understand that his asking to do it, is a sign of stress or trauma in his young life. Talk, talk, talk! Don't just take that sullen silence to mean everything's OK!

Know that no child who has been weaned for 3 years reverts back for no reason. Please talk to your son and find out what is goin on in his life and address those issues. Putting him back on the breast is not a bad thing but maybe some sessions with a e-b-f friendly child psychologist may also be the answer.

Your post made me worry about your son, please do not ignore is obvious plea for help and your attention.


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## MamaAllNatural (Mar 10, 2004)

Just for clarification her ds is 5, not 7. I think if it were related to abuse or bullying there would be signs other than wanting to nurse (which the OP indicated that he has asked a few times since being weaned). He could be reverting a little, but it would probably be due more to sibling rivalry/jealously issues, KWIM? It sounds like he wants to nurse and is a little saddened by his little brother nursing all the time and he himself, never nursing. So I agree, definately talk with him, but I think a lot of posters here are putting their own feelings about nursing an older child first and foremost when responding (Oliviagodess, I'm not referring to you here, just to make that clear.







). I think we need to focus on this particular mom and child and what they are comfortable with.


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## party_of_seven (May 10, 2004)

*OK THAT'S IT you're ENORMOUS get OFF me... and if mothers didn't, the kids would still be nursing in high school! Seriously I do not think my dd would ever stop, would ever give up the opportunity to extract the juice of my core being... it somehow gives her so much of my attention and so much of my self, it gives her such power, I can't see her ever giving that up.*































That's freakin hysterical. I am currently nak my almost 3yo who is a serious boo-aholic. I don't know if she will EVER quit. I will hang in there though. Somehow it tames the savage beast in her...I'm not quite sure I could live with her if not for the peace that the "mmmm-mmms" bring.

As for the original post, I think you should do what feels right. I agree with both sides, and I think that there are several options for dealing with this. I sure hope that you recognize your ds request as a cry for more attention at a time when he is probably feeling vunerable. You can help him in anyway that will give him some more attention and reassurance that he has not been replaced....weather you nurse him or not. What he is going through is very normal though, and it will pass.


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## Electra375 (Oct 2, 2002)

Mine are a bit younger, but I do know that children loose the ability to suck after a while. So, he may have forgotten how already. I think if you are comfortable with him nursing, then go for it. If not, don't start up again and gently explain his time has passed, but big boys can do "...." instead with their mommies.
My second weaned at 14 1/2 months old, I found out 3-4 weeks later that I was pregnant. It was harder on me than him. He wants my attention now with the new baby in the house and I have offered him mommy's milk, but he says "no". He is content to sit with us and watch her "drink milk". And I so envisioned myself tandum nursing.


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## mother_sunshine (Nov 25, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oliviagoddess*
Whenever there is a great trauma in a child's life they want to revert to a previous, safe stage. In this case your 7 year old is reverting to an oral stage.

Please take a look at what might be causing this! It could be abuse of some sort (7 is the "right" age for pedophiles - for both girls and boys), bullies at school being extra mean to him or a death in the family. He could also be equating your love to nursing. He may fear that by nursing only the little baby, you don't love him anymore. Reasure him that you still have room for him in your heart, on your lap and even at the breast if that's what it takes.

I am not telling you to not nurse him. That is a decision you need to make for your particular situation. But understand that his asking to do it, is a sign of stress or trauma in his young life. Talk, talk, talk! Don't just take that sullen silence to mean everything's OK!

Know that no child who has been weaned for 3 years reverts back for no reason. Please talk to your son and find out what is goin on in his life and address those issues. Putting him back on the breast is not a bad thing but maybe some sessions with a e-b-f friendly child psychologist may also be the answer.

Your post made me worry about your son, please do not ignore is obvious plea for help and your attention.

Okay, I'm going to really try to :ignore and be as polite as possible, but as a mother of a 7yo nursling I found this post not only offensive and ignorant but completely unnecessary given the info the OP provided us.

Having been a part of another more-mainstream board ("mainstream" meaning the typical American way of thinking) elsewhere on the web over the past 5 years, I recently needed to cut myself off because of too many "experts" who would try to analyze me and my child as to why she would "still be nursing this long". To assume that a child has been abused simply because she/he is breastfeeding (or asking to breastfeed) is ignorant and is trying to instill a fear in the mother that is not healthy nor necessary. It is taking a sociological opinion and confusing it with what is humanly biologically normal.

It is healthy and normal for a child to breastfeed past 7,8 or whatever is normal for that child (if the child asks then it is naturally normal). What isn't healthy is the way some people confuse the breast with sex organs. THEY ARE BREASTS, THEY MAKE MILK AND PROVIDE NOURISHMENT (physical and emotional) FOR OUR CHILDREN. THAT IS WHAT MAMMARY GLANDS ARE FOR. Some people read way too much into breastfeeding. There is nothing much to analyze about it. It is what it is and nothing more, nothing less. Breastfeeding a child is as natural as a hug. Why try to sway a mother away from something so natural if the child is asking? I just don't get it.
















Crap, I vented. I apologize if this was offensive (as I'm sure it was). This type of opinion on bf in our society irks me, obviously. I just felt the need to get that out and stick up for myself and dd as well as others here at MDC.
(now where's the "breathe" smiley)


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## MamaAllNatural (Mar 10, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mother_sunshine*
It is healthy and normal for a child to breastfeed past 7,8 or whatever is normal for that child (if the child asks then it is naturally normal). What isn't healthy is the way some people confuse the breast with sex organs. THEY ARE BREASTS, THEY MAKE MILK AND PROVIDE NOURISHMENT (physical and emotional) FOR OUR CHILDREN. THAT IS WHAT MAMMARY GLANDS ARE FOR. Some people read way too much into breastfeeding. There is nothing much to analyze about it. It is what it is and nothing more, nothing less. Breastfeeding a child is as natural as a hug. Why try to sway a mother away from something so natural if the child is asking? I just don't get it.







[/


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## flower365 (Feb 22, 2003)

Your son saying "it's not fair" really stuck out to me. I'd try to put his nursing request in the context of a 24 hr day. Does he feel shortchanged for attention throughout the day, and this is his way of trying to get it? Maybe if you made an extra effort to get on his level and pay him really good attention and spend time with just him, he might start to feel his closeness needs are being met again. Maybe he feels his younger sib is getting more attention for being more immature and big bro wants in on it too. Just a thought.

Good luck!


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## party_of_seven (May 10, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mother_sunshine*
Okay, I'm going to really try to :ignore and be as polite as possible, but as a mother of a 7yo nursling I found this post not only offensive and ignorant but completely unnecessary given the info the OP provided us.

Having been a part of another more-mainstream board ("mainstream" meaning the typical American way of thinking) elsewhere on the web over the past 5 years, I recently needed to cut myself off because of too many "experts" who would try to analyze me and my child as to why she would "still be nursing this long". To assume that a child has been abused simply because she/he is breastfeeding (or asking to breastfeed) is ignorant and is trying to instill a fear in the mother that is not healthy nor necessary. It is taking a sociological opinion and confusing it with what is humanly biologically normal.

It is healthy and normal for a child to breastfeed past 7,8 or whatever is normal for that child (if the child asks then it is naturally normal). What isn't healthy is the way some people confuse the breast with sex organs. THEY ARE BREASTS, THEY MAKE MILK AND PROVIDE NOURISHMENT (physical and emotional) FOR OUR CHILDREN. THAT IS WHAT MAMMARY GLANDS ARE FOR. Some people read way too much into breastfeeding. There is nothing much to analyze about it. It is what it is and nothing more, nothing less. Breastfeeding a child is as natural as a hug. Why try to sway a mother away from something so natural if the child is asking? I just don't get it.
















Crap, I vented. I apologize if this was offensive (as I'm sure it was). This type of opinion on bf in our society irks me, obviously. I just felt the need to get that out and stick up for myself and dd as well as others here at MDC.
(now where's the "breathe" smiley)


ITA 200% Great post, and kuddos to you for nursing a child so long....especially in a society like this. You are a wonderful selfless and giving mom.


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## oliviagoddess (Jan 10, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mother_sunshine*
Okay, I'm going to really try to :ignore and be as polite as possible, but as a mother of a 7yo nursling I found this post not only offensive and ignorant but completely unnecessary given the info the OP provided us.

>>snip<<
To assume that a child has been abused simply because she/he is breastfeeding (or asking to breastfeed) is ignorant and is trying to instill a fear in the mother that is not healthy nor necessary. It is taking a sociological opinion and confusing it with what is humanly biologically normal.

It is healthy and normal for a child to breastfeed past 7,8 or whatever is normal for that child (if the child asks then it is naturally normal). What isn't healthy is the way some people confuse the breast with sex organs. THEY ARE BREASTS, THEY MAKE MILK AND PROVIDE NOURISHMENT (physical and emotional) FOR OUR CHILDREN. THAT IS WHAT MAMMARY GLANDS ARE FOR. Some people read way too much into breastfeeding. There is nothing much to analyze about it. It is what it is and nothing more, nothing less. Breastfeeding a child is as natural as a hug. Why try to sway a mother away from something so natural if the child is asking?

BTW, many cultures consider the legs to be the most sexual part of a woman's body. That's why you see these topless African women with ankle length skirts. These cultrues realize that breasts are for babies and not general amusement.

Maybe I should have been more clear. It's like going from being potty trained for 2 years to reverting to wetting and pooping themselves. It is a sign of stress and trauma when I child reverts to any stage (thumbsucking, wetting the bed, psychotic projectile vomitting, just to name a few).

I did not intend to imply that this child might be molested by the mother, but rather by another "close" adult, this would cause stress and trauma that a child would not be able to express except by returning to a safe place (hey that's why adults keep the same mullet hairstyle fromt he 80's - it was the only time in their lives they felt good about themselves).

Reversion (I whish my thesaurus had a better word as I think this has deffinite "negative" connotations) is a natural response for someone who does not have the vocabulary or the understanding of excatly what is happening but just knows that there is something wrong. It's also a natural response for someone who is 30 and has had a traumatic experience (even though they have the emotional "maturity" and vocabulary to deal with it - they just choose not to).

I did not say that she should or should not bf her son again, but I did imply that it may be easier to bf than to actually deal with any probelms or issues in this child's life or to just shut him down with a "big boy" talk (ever wonder why men are such emotional idiots? maybe boys need to be bf for 15 years insead of getting "big boy" talks!).

I AM saying that she should not look at it as a "burden" of having "enourmous" children on her (something I personally found truly VERY offensive, btw) but rather ask: are her child's pshychological needs being met? Hard questions to ask, but someone has to since sometimes as mothers, we can't see the tree for the forest.

FYI, my nursling is 3 1/2 and I nurse her in public and will continue to do so until she says she's had enough. So yes, I will be that crazy woman in the mall with a 10 year old nursing standing up, so watch for me in the news as I will cry civil rights violations for all around;-P

And yes, I did bust on the all mighty mullet!


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## Mom4tot (Apr 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mother_sunshine*
Okay, I'm going to really try to :ignore and be as polite as possible, but as a mother of a 7yo nursling I found this post not only offensive and ignorant but completely unnecessary given the info the OP provided us.

Having been a part of another more-mainstream board ("mainstream" meaning the typical American way of thinking) elsewhere on the web over the past 5 years, I recently needed to cut myself off because of too many "experts" who would try to analyze me and my child as to why she would "still be nursing this long". To assume that a child has been abused simply because she/he is breastfeeding (or asking to breastfeed) is ignorant and is trying to instill a fear in the mother that is not healthy nor necessary. It is taking a sociological opinion and confusing it with what is humanly biologically normal.

It is healthy and normal for a child to breastfeed past 7,8 or whatever is normal for that child (if the child asks then it is naturally normal). What isn't healthy is the way some people confuse the breast with sex organs. THEY ARE BREASTS, THEY MAKE MILK AND PROVIDE NOURISHMENT (physical and emotional) FOR OUR CHILDREN. THAT IS WHAT MAMMARY GLANDS ARE FOR. Some people read way too much into breastfeeding. There is nothing much to analyze about it. It is what it is and nothing more, nothing less. Breastfeeding a child is as natural as a hug. Why try to sway a mother away from something so natural if the child is asking? I just don't get it.
















Crap, I vented. I apologize if this was offensive (as I'm sure it was). This type of opinion on bf in our society irks me, obviously. I just felt the need to get that out and stick up for myself and dd as well as others here at MDC.
(now where's the "breathe" smiley)


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## Mom4tot (Apr 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oliviagoddess*
Maybe I should have been more clear. It's like going from being potty trained for 2 years to reverting to wetting and pooping themselves. It is a sign of stress and trauma when I child reverts to any stage (thumbsucking, wetting the bed, psychotic projectile vomitting, just to name a few).

I did not intend to imply that this child might be molested by the mother, but rather by another "close" adult, this would cause stress and trauma that a child would not be able to express except by returning to a safe place (hey that's why adults keep the same mullet hairstyle fromt he 80's - it was the only time in their lives they felt good about themselves).

!

I just want to say that I don't think nursing and potty training are the same developmentally. Weaning and potty learning are still quite controlled by a large number of parents. Many parents believe babies and children can potty learn even earlier by listening to and watching a babies cues. Our culture tends to put ages on it...between 2 and 3 (or so) years. Our culture also puts ages on weaning...arbitrary ages...depending on the mother's needs usually.

Nursing into childhood is completely natural, advantageous and supported by many other cultures. It isn't a sign of regression, immaturity or developmental delay. I suppose this little boy could be "regressing" back to those wonderful memories of nursing. Good that he can ask for it! Why all the analyzing and worry? Let him nurse, meet the need and he will move on in his own time.

While I might be concerned if my dd started wetting her bed, I certainly don't equate that with wanting to nurse. Two different things entirely.


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## Firemom (Nov 21, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jplain*
Many years ago, my younger sister asked to nurse after she'd been weaned for a couple years. Our brother had just been born. My mom said "Sure, if you want to." My sister took one sip, giggled, declared that it tasted funny, and hopped off my mom's lap and ran off to play. She showed no further interest. Everyone was happy.









I agree with this. this is the most likely scenerio. My dd asked to nurse when she was past her 6th birthday too. It was probably 10 months after she weaned at 5.9 years. She tried for l sec and that was it. She still cuddles at the breast and is now 7.8 years.


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## elyice (Apr 7, 2003)

There is nothing wrong with telling a child NO.
There IS something wrong with never telling a child NO.


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## elyice (Apr 7, 2003)

"Your post made me worry about your son, please do not ignore is obvious plea for help and your attention."

It is totally normal to ask to nurse as a young child. I remember wanting to nurse after seeing my baby brothers nursing. It just seemed like a cool mommy-baby activity.


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## Firemom (Nov 21, 2001)

There is nothing wrong with saying NO and there is nothing wrong with saying YES. You see this is the extended nursing forum and MOST of us see nothing wrong with nursing a baby, toddler or older child.

Just because you say yes to nursing doesn't mean you say yes to everything. Where did you get that from the OP's post or any other post?

She asked a very good question on an EXTENDED NURSING FORUM!


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## sadie_sabot (Dec 17, 2002)

my dd is only 19 months and i am only just starting to consider what it will be like to nurse an older toddler/child. i am really glad I can look to alla you wise mommas and get ideas ahead of time. so, i offer no advice but I hope that what you choose works well for you and your son.

I just want to say that I am annoyed by the equating of nursing and toilet learning. It makes me think of when moms are asked to nurse in a bathroom. Just because they're both things kids eventully grow out of doesn't mean theyre at all the same.


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## Sustainer (Sep 26, 2002)

It is very common for a weaned child to ask to breastfeed again, especially when there is a younger sibling breastfeeding. It does not indicate that anything is wrong. It is perfectly normal and natural. Going ahead and breastfeeding the child again is a healthy and compassionate solution.

I hope people can sift through the negatives in this sentence: There is nothing wrong with never telling a child "no" WHEN IT COMES TO BREASTFEEDING. A child who is secure in the availability of the breast is also a more secure child overall.


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## lizziejean (Feb 8, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oliviagoddess*
I AM saying that she should not look at it as a "burden" of having "enourmous" children on her (something I personally found truly VERY offensive, btw)

Oliviagoddess, I'm assuming you're referring to my post? where I was talking about weaning being when the mother tells the child you're enormous, get off me? Please don't take offense. I was referring to the feeling I get when a large, chattering, size 10-wearing person is sucking on my breast... I feel that she's enormous! and that perhaps she should not be sucking on my breast... which yes I do feel is more private and personal than say, my finger, probably because of the sexualization of the breast in our culture. But in any case, I apologize if this offended you, I truly didn't mean anything bad by it.


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## kimberlykim (Jun 2, 2004)

I think it is interesting that your 6 year old is requesting to nurse again, obviously a familiar comfort to him. Are there any other rituals that the two of you do for comfort? At this age and to his request for nursing I doubt in his mind it is for nutrition, so apparently he is probably seeking love and closeness. At this age he should be able to express his love for you through other methods than nursing. Maybe you could start a new pattern of comfort for when he is seeking your attention.
The fact that you are questioning the motives is enough reason for you to maybe try something else in substitute for the nursing. Do what feels right in your heart. You will always receive advice from everyone, and usually the best decisions that are made come from what you feel is right in your heart. Consider everyone's advice but really pray about what concerns you and go with your "gut feeling", only you know what is best for you and your son. Be confident in your decision, I am sure you are a great mother.


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## ariadne (Jul 16, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *elyice*
There is nothing wrong with telling a child NO.
There IS something wrong with never telling a child NO.


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## Bestbirths (Jan 18, 2003)

When my dd was around 6 and her sister who was 2 was nursing, she asked to nurse again, and at the time 6 yr old dd had been weaned for well over a year, maybe two years. I said sure, and let her nurse. She nursed maybe five or six times over the course of two weeks. She would nurse when her sister was nursing, and she would ask to nurse at night. Many times I would divert her and ask her if she would like to do (fill in the blank-play a game, read a story, etc) instead. I did look at it as a sign that she was needing more attention from me in other ways. I had been suffering from severe postpartum depression over the course of the two year postpartum period, and this could have played a part in her feeling that her emotional needs were not being met. Anyway, I let her nurse, and in the meantime, I greatly stepped up attention and even special one on one time with her, and it was a little phase that didn't last long at all. I do not think that it did her any harm to let her nurse. I think it would have been emotionally devistating for her if I would have refused her request to nurse at that time. I do not look at it as a right and wrong issue, and I do get a tad offended also at the people who want to bring issues like "oh, come on, don't you know how to say no to your children??" comments in. It is hurtful, and it comes from a mindset, I believe where it is considered more important for children to obey their parents than for their feelings to be respected by their parents. The "just say no" and "when I say jump, you say how high" worldview is something that thankfully for our children, we dumped years ago.


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## mother_sunshine (Nov 25, 2001)

Bestbirths ITA


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## mother (Dec 25, 2001)

I'm enjoying this thread and impressed at the number of replies to her question! I'm still nursing my 5 year old and we are tandem nursing since I also have a 2 1/2 year old :2tandem . I didn't plan to nurse past a year because I didn't even know that people did that! Then I thought we might go to 2, then 3, and sure we wouldn't go past 4 but here we are at 5 and I'm still okay with it. It freaks my mom out, my husband is not thrilled but he's given up







and I'm amazed at how natural it feels. There are times when i want to be the mama cat and throw him off me, and I do set limits (once a day, only if he's dressed, etc) and I do say no sometimes. I think he'd like to nurse 3 times a day if I'd let him. I hope I can hang in there until he decides he's done. He knows I'm ready for him to wean. But he knows that I'm respecting his intense need (and it clearly is with him).

So my advice (as has been said here before) is do whatever feels right to you. I try and shut out everyone else's opinion in making a decision like this since I find that these voices often impact my choices and that shouldn't be. It's between me and my son what we do.

Warmly,
Emily


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## WithHannahsHeart (Apr 22, 2003)

Forget it. .


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## UrbanPlanter (Nov 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *noranorth*
His brother is 2 and still nursing all every couple hours. ..... he criess and says it so unfair that he can't nurse, and he likes it better than pop.

I think this is what it is really all about.
He is probably moving through a new developmental stage emotionally, and at the same time, feeling a little regressive because of it, and sees his little brother nursing and wanting the same kind of "babying" from his mother now that he is becoming a big boy.

I personally remember being six and being afraid to not be a baby anymore.

Anyway, I don't think much psychoanalysis is needed here. The kid is just plainly expressing a valid need, and I see no reason why it shouldn't be met.

Nursing is not just for nutrition. It's also a major source of comfort. (Well, we all know this, don't we...)


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## Bestbirths (Jan 18, 2003)

I would nurse the child, and in the meantime ask them if there has been any emotional upset. I do not see anything evil about reminding my children to be careful of strangers or reminding my children about not letting anyone touch their private parts, even someone they do know. It is one of the first things I ask about when any of my children have a major attitude change. I usually review the whole stranger/someone you know danger topic at these times. I do remember that around the same time as our dd's nursing issue came up, dd said that an older child in the church bathroom had touched her private parts. So, this could have played a role in the renewed interest in nursing, I just thought though that it was a culmination of many stressful things that all kind of piled up, and not just that one event. I still felt that regardless, the solution for us was to not refuse the nursing, and step up the special time and attention, this worked well for dd.


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## elyice (Apr 7, 2003)

firemom and others,
I try to be as simple as possible because the cut, paste and quote police are everywhere. Nurse as long as you want. I believe moderation with our children is fine. It is okay not to nurse a 3,4,5 and 6 yr olds. It is OKAY to tell a child "No". Sometimes AP parents loose sight of creating a balance that takes care of the childs AND the parents needs. I need very little to be the best parent I can be, 2 hours of solitude a week, a cafe mocha and green tea ice cream. I refuse all of those things to my children, they are mine. And that is OKAY.
Yes, I practice child led weaning... to a point. I will give my child 3 yrs to wean themselves after that, I say "All done, milks empty."








So do what YOU want to do.
Elyice


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## sadie_sabot (Dec 17, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chemigogo*
You know, i think oliviagoddess has some very relevant points that many of you are choosing to get all puffed up with righteous indignation about and refusing to see that there are POSSIBLY some valid concerns to be addressed with the little boy. I mean, why please tell me, is it so evil of her to suggest talking to the child and trying to make sure that there isn't some complex emotional issue that is motivating his desire to return to nursing? Do any of you seriously read her post and think she is suggesting that the breast is sexual or that the mother is oversexualizing/abusing, or even that she should not allow him to nruse? No, she is not saying any of that, merely asking the mother to TALK to the child to make sure he has not undergone any emotional upset. Some of you all need to lighten UP a little and read more clearly at times, as you are getting all twisted over misconceptions and reading things where they are NOT.

take it easy!


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## MamaAllNatural (Mar 10, 2004)

I agree. There's no need to yell or be inflammatory.









*p.s. OP, where are you?







Come back.


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## mother_sunshine (Nov 25, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *elyice*
Yes, I practice child led weaning... to a point. I will give my child 3 yrs to wean themselves after that, I say "All done, milks empty."









Oh boy...ahem....That is not CLW. You cannot practice Child-Led-Weaning "to a point" then cut your child off and still say you did CLW. Nope.









Not sure why you and a small select few others are seemingly offended or threatened by this thread. Remember that this specific forum is intended for those who are nursing "beyond the norm". If you do not advocate nursing even beyond 3 then maybe you should rethink your intentions for being here. You don't have to agree with it, but respect is necessary.


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## elyice (Apr 7, 2003)

mother sunshine,
I'm not offended at all. I love that I am not a freak here (as opposed to IRL)







: and I love that I get the finger wag. I am lol. I am offereing support to do whatever mom feels is best.
I am a Milk Queen. I am a breast milk donor.
Carry on ladies.


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## Mom4tot (Apr 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mother_sunshine*







Oh boy...ahem....That is not CLW. You cannot practice Child-Led-Weaning "to a point" then cut your child off and still say you did CLW. Nope.









Not sure why you and a small select few others are seemingly offended or threatened by this thread. Remember that this specific forum is intended for those who are nursing "beyond the norm". If you do not advocate nursing even beyond 3 then maybe you should rethink your intentions for being here. You don't have to agree with it, but respect is necessary.


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## mother_sunshine (Nov 25, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *elyice*
I love that I am not a freak here (as opposed to IRL)

Now I get it. What's that saying about putting down others to make yourself feel better.


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## ekblad9 (Nov 21, 2001)

Hi all







I've been following this thread on in off in silence. Maybe I posted a while back, can't remember. Anyway, let's try to remember that this is a support of breastfeeding board. This has probably been said before but the WHO says that on average children around the world are nursed until age 4. That's the average so we're talking about kids being nursed well past that age. My 7 yo still sucks her thumb and my 6 yo just gave up his pacifier.







I wish I would have known to nurse them longer when they were little. Better that than the artificial comfort they got from the thumb and the paci. My 3 3/4 year old is still nursing as is my 19 month old. I hope they nurse for a good long time. And if they stop and want to try it again later I will let them. They probably woudn't love it anyway.


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## MamaAllNatural (Mar 10, 2004)

Mother Sunshine, I think she's meaning extended bfing in general. So, she's a freak in real life because she nurses past 1 yo. _I don't think she was meaning to imply that anyone here was a freak for nursing a child older than she would._









*ETA: Upon finding another thread I am now _hoping_ that my interpretation is correct but now I feel it's probably not.


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## ekblad9 (Nov 21, 2001)

I thought we were all freaks here!







:


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## Mom4tot (Apr 18, 2003)

:LOL


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## MamaAllNatural (Mar 10, 2004)

Yes, I'm a freak and it has NOTHING to do with breastfeeding! :LOL

So, we're all freaks...but I'm glad we have a few Goddesses among us setting the precedent.


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## Mom4tot (Apr 18, 2003)

Yes...and don't worry, we won't let anyone gotoo far offcourse.


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## WithHannahsHeart (Apr 22, 2003)

I was not trying to be inflammatory, just incredibly frustrated that so many of you refuse to consider that there may be reasons for his desire to nurse, and that it is not wrong to look into it. I was also frustrated because olivia made some good points and so many people twisted what she said into something utterly different, or blew her off as being not supportive of EBF or whatever you want to call it. And you know what, i am disgusted and insulted that anybody on this forum thinks i should not be here. Just because i don't think everybody needs to nurse to frieking ten years old or something does NOT mean i am not committed to EBF, and does NOT mean that i am any less deserving of support than any of you. I am sitting here shaking with anger and hurt as i type, at the thought that some of you might be so self-righteous and all knowing as to think that i should not come here for help and encouragement. I also do not think i was really being disrespectful, only asking (admittedly in a frustrated 'tone') that some of you think along a different POV. Maybe that's too much to ask. I guess i am the freak here,a dn you are all just wonderful and divine.


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## elyice (Apr 7, 2003)

Whoa, hold your horses Sunshine.
I AM NOT CALLING YOU FREAKS!

and I am NOT puting you down. People call me a freak as I nurse past 1 yr old. I understand your sensitivity.
Save your drama for people that feed their newborns animal breast milk.

Back to the OP, Do what you feel is best for BOTH you and him. Do not feel pressured to say yes or no. At 6yrs either is okay.

BTW, Yes MamaNatural, I asked what is everyones bfing limit. I think it is quite interesting. To imply that I do not support bfing is a joke. I support it so much that I pump and ship hundreds of ounces to total strangers. I'm nursing the world, sister.







Elyice


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## elyice (Apr 7, 2003)

In reference to saying No, I was not solely referring to bfing. I am talking about ALL aspects of child rearing. It is OKAY, appropriate and beneficial to
Make ourselves as MOTHERS comfortable and happy. We do not have to be martyrs to be good mothers. Nurse on.
Elyice


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## ekblad9 (Nov 21, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *elyice*
In reference to saying No, I was not solely referring to bfing. I am talking about ALL aspects of child rearing. It is OKAY, appropriate and beneficial to
Make ourselves as MOTHERS comfortable and happy. We do not have to be martyrs to be good mothers. Nurse on.
Elyice

You are absolutely right. We don't have to be martyrs to be good mothers. We do, however, have to put our children's needs first. That's what being a mother (or parent) is, IMO. That doesn't necessarily mean nursing for 6 years straight but it does mean to meaningfully discern what is in the best interest of our children. That may not always be what makes us "feel good" or whatever but it's what the child needs that ultimately matters. I'm not talking extreme cases where you're going to either stop nursing at 3 yo or committ suicide. But the fact is that parenting is hard. It's very, very hard. It's not meant to be easy. It wouldn't be worth as much if it was easy.


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## MamaAllNatural (Mar 10, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *elyice*
I'm nursing the world, sister.







Elyice

Very cool!


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## mother_sunshine (Nov 25, 2001)

FREAKS! FREAKS! WE'RE ALL FREAKS!








Where's the dancing naked in the street smiley....I guess I'll have to use the dancin' banana.....HEY maybe that's more appropriate anyway!







:













































Come on ladies...ALL of you (including me...reality check)...let's just start working together instead of against, alright? This is MDC, our wonderful MOTHERING oasis!!
















Anyone wanna dance with me?







:


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## UrbanPlanter (Nov 14, 2003)




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## MamaAllNatural (Mar 10, 2004)




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## Mom4tot (Apr 18, 2003)




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## mom2threenurslings (Jul 16, 2002)

:


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## mom2threenurslings (Jul 16, 2002)

I'm a freak???







I thought I was normal







! You mean it's not normal to nurse three children of differing ages at the same time??? Or to tandem nurse and have a 5.5 year old who plans to "re-nurse" when he turns 6?!? I thought this was what everyone's household is like!!!







:LOL
(Well, that's what my kids think, anyway!)


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## MamaAllNatural (Mar 10, 2004)

T Mom2ThreeNurslings, that's a lovely DDDDC you're wearing today.








(Have you noticed it yet? It's been three days!







)


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## mother_sunshine (Nov 25, 2001)

:









Come on everybody!
Yoohoo, we know you're hiding out there....

BTW mom2threenurslings, I love your ddddc


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## MamaAllNatural (Mar 10, 2004)




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## noranorth (Jul 4, 2002)

I just wanted to say thanks to everyone for your thoughts; it's very helpful to be able to read what everyone said and it gave me new things to think about. (sorry I am so slow in reposting -- I usually only get on at night, but for the last couple weeks I keep falling asleep with the kids).

I've decided to let my ds nurse if he really wants to, but also to offer alternatives such as a bedtime backrub which he really likes or extra snuggles. I do think it's a sign that he needs more loving and now that school is on break, he's been asking less frequently. So maybe it is, as one person suggested, a result of the stress of moving from through a developmental stage. At his checkup last week, we found out he grew 1 -1/4 inch in the last 3 months. I don't know if that makes a difference or not, but wow, he's growing. I really like the idea that several mamas suggested of taking some special time with him, just the two of us. It seems that we have so little of that now that his bro is getting bigger and napping less, and I miss having that close time where we would hang out together. I think back whistfully when I only had one child and time management was SO EASY compared to now.

In thinking about my own feelings about nursing, I am truly okay with nursing him as an older child. But I know that I would be somewhat embarrassed if other people found out because of the social pressures not to nurse at this age. And too, I worry about someone considering extended breastfeeding to be child abuse. But I would never want to make it a "secret" -- I think that would be worse, and make him feel it was something shameful. We laid groundrules for nursing long ago that I am happy about now (all involved must have pants/jammies on and if they are interested in touching themselves, we are very firm that they do that in private and never in our family bed if others are present.)

I really appreciate having the forums here to bounce ideas around -- thanks mamas!


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## Mom4tot (Apr 18, 2003)

It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job. You are being so sensitive and caring to his needs. It is easy to get lost in "advice" or societal pressures when you are dealing with something like this, but you are actively listening to yourself and your little boy.

I can relate to everything you are saying









The growth spurt you mentioned is interesting. My dd has grown 2 inches in the last few months also. It is funny how I forgot about growth spurts once they are over a year or so :LOL I try to spend some one on one time with dd also. Ds doesn't nap anymore...and we homeschool...so they spend a lot of time together. Dd has discovered coffee shops and so we like to go have a hot chocolate or something. Sometimes she runs errands with me too.

I hope you will keep posting here, thanks for the update!


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## [email protected] (May 31, 2004)

I am tandem nursing my ds (21 months) and dd (about 6 months), So I have no experience of nursing older children. However, I feel that if it was comfortable otherwise and my baby wanted to nurse even around the age of 5 or 6 I would allow though empasizing to him from time to time that bf is for much younger babies. Incidentally, I am told that my MIL (I never met her unfortunately) used to narrate that my dh nursed on her sometimes even after the age of 8. He had then been going to school but sometimes on return request her for the same. She felt amused but would take him to a separate room and b' feed him. There was milk as my dh had 3 younger siblings. But he did not do it regularly. My MIL never ever refused him.
Uzra


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