# That Child



## Tinas3muskateers (May 19, 2004)

I have one of those "that child" you know the one, the one in the store, the restaurant, the mall, the beach, the park, the library, etc. My child is a very unhappy, moody, rude, mean, some what disturbed young man. He is 4 and is rarely happy, mostly crabby and whiney. He says bizarre things to shock and surprise those around him (you know it will be dark soon and then I will kill you type comments.) He rarely follows direction, never complies, and is very strong willed and demanding.

We have tried several approaches to these issues, time ins, time outs, natural consequences, and as time as gone on we are becoming less and less AP and/or PD in this house. It is becoming harder and harder to be kind to someone who is NEVER kind to you. Someone who hits, scratches your face, bites, and kicks regularly. Someone who bullies children younger then him and repeatly states his hate for them. He hates everyone and everything around him.

We do have those few moments of sweetness, that are super sweet. We have those moments of cuteness and calm... but those are moments. When most kids have moments of anger, or frustration, our son is regularly like this. It is incredibly painful to watch. I now have friends who will not allow their children in my home for long periods of time, and never without them there. My son has become a leper to others.

I took him to see a psychologist and she chalked it up to my extended breastfeeding. I stunted his emotional growth. @@. How do I find someone who doesn't want to label him, doesn't blame my aping and/or my natural approach to child raising, to help me help him. Where do I turn? Where do we go from here?

My sweet husband is at his wits end. He cannot stand it anymore. The disrespect, the crudeness, and the utter out right daily defiance. He really wants to turn the hands back in time and go old school on him ... and I will not allow it. He so wants to create fear in him to make him comply but I cannot go that route.

Not sure what I was looking for her but needed to get it out and hopefully someone can help. I haven't posted here in a very long time, and have been on other forums as of late but hoped that maybe my answer was lurking here on MDC. Thanks


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

It sounds like something is *wrong* with him- my first thought would be that there's something in his diet (including your diet if you're still nursing him) or environment that's setting him off. Subtle allergies can have behavioral reactions, even if there are no other "more obvious" reactions. My second thought is some kind of nutritional deficiency, which could lead to depression or other mental health issues.

What's his diet like? Do you use any sythetic household products he could be reacting to?

If you can't pinpoint any dietary or environmental triggers, medication may be appropriate to help normalize his moods. Psychiatric medications DEFINTELY have their place, but IMO they should only be used if natural remedies don't work, don't work well enough, or if your'e dealing with an acute situation and need to get it under control NOW and don't have time to play around with diet and supplements right away- in which case I'd suggest using meds AND natural treatments with the goal of keeping the meds at the lowest effective dose for the shortest amount of time needed (and sometimes this is forever.) For a child this young, I'd be very hesitant to use meds unless I was out of options.

I suggest finding another therapist. Just because the one you spoke to was unprofessional doesn't mean they all will be. I honestly can't imagine how AP could make a child act like this- if anything he'd probably be a lot worse if he'd been left to CIO as a toddler or in other ways was used to having his needs denied. He sounds angry enough at the world without having been abandoned!


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## _betsy_ (Jun 29, 2004)

My first thought - is he getting enough sleep?

My second thought - food or environmental allergies.


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## Tinas3muskateers (May 19, 2004)

I am going to get him tested for allergins. We try to eat as organic as we can and never ever give him food with dyes and artifical junk. When it comes to sleep, he gets 10 hours, but he doesnt have a normal bed time persay, its on again off again, between 10 and midnight. He sleeps till 9ish. He was never left to cio, he was nursed till 26 months, slung, etc. We co-sleep as well. I am still searching for a good person to take him too. Thank you for the allergin suggestion.


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## hippymomma69 (Feb 28, 2007)

First - ((hugs))

Second - it's hard to know exactly what to advise you to do. I agree that from what you wrote his behavior seems beyond the norm and I don't think you can punish a child into being happy - you need to deal with whatever the underlying problem is.

Just some questions that I thought of .....

How much control does he have over his environment (IOW is this the only way he can get some control over situations)?

Have you tried a playful parenting approach? You know accepting what he is saying and playing along to find out more about how he's feeling? Like when he he says "it will be dark soon and I will kill you" do you play along and get him to elaborate? Or do you try to squash it? Maybe look for a play therapist to help you figure out why he's saying this - what feelings he's having?

Re: compliance/following direction - do you think he could have sensory issues that are getting in the way of him paying attention/complying? An OT could help you by doing an assessment...

Have you asked your pediatrician about the signs for bi-polar disorder and if he/she thinks your son should be evaluated for that?

Too bad the counselor you saw chose to blame you rather than chart a course forward WITH you...

I would keep trying before I would resort to traditional punishments. I just don't think they would really work in your situation -or it might silence him but then I think you would start to see other problems....

good luck
peace,
robyn


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## BusyBeeMom (May 15, 2005)

This sounds so hard!

Some thoughts - your sig says you have 3 kids, I think. Have you had any similar issues w/the others? If the other kids are older, where there any major upheavals/family disturbances that may have affected your DS at a particularly vulnerable age?

I would definitely see a physician. Start w/his regular ped, then go to specialists as needed. I think it's very important to rule out physical problems ASAP - allergies, hearing problems, some sort of chronic pain/condition that could be causing or exacerbating the mood issues.

Are there any teachers or school administrators you can speak with who might know names of several therapists? I'm thinking they might just know local child psychologists/psychiatrists. I would call the doctors, describe the situation, and ask them if they've had experience with a similar situation. Sounds like the first therapist was out of her league. Oh, and BTW - I was thinking that maybe your DS was still nursing - in so far as the "extended BFing comment." Whatever. Hopefully you'll have a large enough pool of therapists, so you can immediately eliminate those who think this. If not, be armed w/this info from the American Academy of Pediatricians:
http://aappolicy.aappublications.org...115/2/496#SEC1

In particular, this paragraph, second-to-last bullet point, print it out w/the citations for the docs:
# Pediatricians and parents should be aware that exclusive breastfeeding is sufficient to support optimal growth and development for approximately the first 6 months of life{ddagger} and provides continuing protection against diarrhea and respiratory tract infection.30,34,128,178-184 Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child.185

* Complementary foods rich in iron should be introduced gradually beginning around 6 months of age.186-187 Preterm and low birth weight infants and infants with hematologic disorders or infants who had inadequate iron stores at birth generally require iron supplementation before 6 months of age.148,188-192 Iron may be administered while continuing exclusive breastfeeding.
* Unique needs or feeding behaviors of individual infants may indicate a need for introduction of complementary foods as early as 4 months of age, whereas other infants may not be ready to accept other foods until approximately 8 months of age.193
* Introduction of complementary feedings before 6 months of age generally does not increase total caloric intake or rate of growth and only substitutes foods that lack the protective components of human milk.194
* During the first 6 months of age, even in hot climates, water and juice are unnecessary for breastfed infants and may introduce contaminants or allergens.195
* Increased duration of breastfeeding confers significant health and developmental benefits for the child and the mother, especially in delaying return of fertility (thereby promoting optimal intervals between births).196
* There is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer.197
* Infants weaned before 12 months of age should not receive cow's milk but should receive iron-fortified infant formula.198


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## Juvysen (Apr 25, 2007)

things like corn and dairy and soy and gluten can affect behavior. You can eat all organic but corn and dairy and soy and gluten are still just that and may still affect your son. You could try an elimination diet. Where are you going to get him tested? i'd recommend seeing a naturopath for this, first.


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## Rose-Roget (May 25, 2008)

I would agree with hippymomma69 and busybeemom about finding a child's psychologist/psychiatrist. You could get recs from your ped and maybe other more ap and natural parents in your community to find someone who seems open and accepting rather than judgmental. At the intake, explain your child-rearing philosophies, and your feelings about the last therapist's unfounded judgments and tell him/her that you're not looking to feel "blamed" and that you'd like a real evaluation to determine what the best approach for you ds might be. Also, I'd be very up front about not necessarily wanting to jump into meds. I would think you'd get a good sense pretty quickly whether or not this person is going to be open or whether they have a standard course of "treatment" in mind for their patients. Sometimes medication is the best route...but not always.

Best of luck!


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## bscal (Feb 13, 2006)

I, too, am a mom to "that child". I have had numerous issues with my older DD's behavior, since she was about 2 1/2 years old. I saw a child psychologist for some time about her behavior (biting, kicking, pinching, screaming) with other children. Some of his advice was helpful... but when he flat out told me that occasionally a good hard swat on the bottom was necessary I stopped seeing him. I did break down and spank some... but her behavior was SO much worse. Please learn from my mistakes and do not go down that road. It was horrible. I cried a lot. I do know some of the causes of her behavior... my second child was born about the time it started. We had some rough patches after my third child came along last year too.

I would be very careful about reading labels. There are so many products out there that have artificial sweeteners or colors in them - including children's toothpaste (which was a surprise for me). My DD can have aggressive behavior and 2 hour screaming fits from 1 small cup of fruit punch at a birthday party so I have to be very vigilant about what she eats or drinks. This behavior can last for several days as well.

Oh, and I recently discovered that my DD is lactose intolerant. I have started introducing milk to DS and he was having some problems with it - throwing up a lot- but no problems with cheese or yogurt. I ended up getting lactose free milk for him and my DD wanted to try it. She drank a cup and then an hour or so later came up to me and said "Mommy, that milk didn't make my tummy hurt!" She was so excited that she could drink milk and not feel bad anymore. I just buy the lactose free now and her behavior has improved... I feel so bad for not figuring out that milk made her feel sick before. She couldn't drink it until she was 2 because she'd throw up... she was on Soy then. Anyhow, I'd strongly recommend looking into your DS's diet.

Until then, stay calm. I spend a year hanging out at my house for fear of tantrums in public. When I did go out with my DD I had to always be prepared to head for the car if needed.

Beth


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

I would post over on the Special Needs board too -- there are a lot of experienced parents there who got kids with "issues" who might be able to direct you how to find a psychologist/psychiatrist who won't tell you that this is all caused by breastfeeding!

Definitely start with your ped if you have a good relationship, and stress that the things that work with your other kids aren't working with him. Tell your ped that you want someone who is open to a range of parenting styles, that you don't want someone who will tell you to spank and you don't want someone who's going to feed you stupid lines about breastfeeding (tell him/her about your last experience).

I'd also look at the book "The Challenging Child" by Stanley Greenspan - I really like his approach to emotional development, and the book is very compatible with AP/PD.


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## Magella (Apr 5, 2004)

Check out _The Explosive Child_ by Ross Greene (2005 version) and www.thinkkids.org. _The Challenging Child_, which Lynn recommended, is very good too.

I agree with Lynn that it would be good to visit the special needs board in order to get some advice about how to find a good psychologist/psychiatrist. A thorough evaluation can be helpful, as so many underlying issues can come out in behavior like this: sensory issues, allergies, anxiety, etc. eta I like what Lynn said about talking to your pedi. I found it helpful to bring in a list, a big one. A list of the problematic behaviors and when they started, including dd's emotions and reactions to her own behavior. A list of the discipline approaches we've tried and the books we've read. A list reminding me to describe how our approach to discipline works with our other kids, but does not work with our challenging child. A list of other things we've tried: diet, ways of helping her get more sleep. And also a list of what is wonderful about her, what her strengths are.

I have that child too. And it is hard. You need support. And time to yourself to recharge.


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## Wugmama (Feb 10, 2005)

I was actually coming to this forum to make a similar post, but see yours so thought I'd join in. The issues we have with our ds don't sound quite as severe as the ones you are having, as he is happy most of the time. But he has gotten very violent in the last few weeks, with biting, kicking, hitting, scratching and throwing things. It used to be just directed at our oldest dd, now at the baby as well (9 months). In the past 2 weeks, I've had 4 people suggest punishment (we are AP, try to always be non-punitive) and I'm sick of it. My little guy tends to do great while we are out of the house, but I'm to the point where I don't want others over, and certainly don't want to share with others about our problems with him as I know what they will say.









I have "that child" too, and I never, ever thought I would.










~Tracy


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## changingseasons (Mar 24, 2008)

I'm not in this forum often (DD isn't old enough for me to worry about discipline... yet), but read your post and wanted to send some hugs.

I would agree with the PP's talk about allergens. DD is very food allergic/intolerant, and when she is reacting to a food she is a completely different baby- like night and day. And she's not even 9 mo yet... I can't imagine what it would be like at 4yo if we didn't get these allergies figured out.

Dairy, soy, gluten- definitely top things to consider removing from the diet, along with dyes and preservatives.

I would recommend _Is This Your Child_ by Doris Rapp. There are a lot of good books out there about kids with food allergies, but this one specifically addresses behavior issues related to allergies.


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## craftymom (Jun 27, 2005)

I would definitely take him for allergy testing immediately--whether you want to go NAET or standard (or both). He sounds like a child who doesn't feel well all.the.time. I would particularly look at corn, soy, dairy. You might also want to discuss other issues (like celiac or metabolic issues) that could cause someone to not feel well (and not BE well) but not show up on traditional allergy tests.

My ds8 has a friend who has serious behavior issues with dyes. I know you limit these, but have you removed them completely? Watch medications--and does he get treats at a school or gym setting?

If you can't get him in right away, you could start an elimination diet and food/behavior diary.

You may also want to try another psychologist since the last one was useless.

You have 3 kids. It's not you and don't let anyone convince you of that--something is up with him, and it is obvious you're worried!


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## harrietsmama (Dec 10, 2001)

I agree with pretty much everything posted here. I think a complimentary approach is great - do both Psych and a naturopath, or homeopath, or some other really let's get to the core of the health and heal it away kind of approach.
Also, you didn't do this. you clearly care very much for him and nourish him inside and out. You can not love away all the things that can effect our kids.









Much love to you mama! I hope something gives you some answers soon. It will be a journey, hopefully it's shorter!







:


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## diamond lil (Oct 6, 2003)

I cannot speak from experience, but some friends of ours had a daughter that was very similar to what you described about your son. It reminded me of her, so that is why I decided to respond.

This little girl was very angry, all the time, just like you mentioned. She was also violent to the family pets and her younger siblings. Long story short, and after many trips to various specialists, they narrowed the problem down to aluminum. The family had cooked regularly in aluminum pots and pans. So they got rid of those and they got rid of all other sources of aluminum in the house (including canned foods, beverages, etc), and the little girl's life turned around. Now she is fine.

I'm not saying this is what is wrong with your DS, but it is something to consider.


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## Heavenly (Nov 21, 2001)

My son (7.5 years old) has bipolar disorder. We have dealt with very similar situations to what you are posting. Natural treatments are not always the answer. If you would like more info pm me or ask on the special needs board. Good luck to you.


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## colobus237 (Feb 2, 2004)

It sounds like things really aren't working for you and your son. Maybe it would be worth trying out the suggestions of a therapist, even if they did involve changing your discipline style to something more structured and rule/consequence based, or considering "labels" if they could be helpful or lead to effective treatment. Sometimes what we thought was right in theory, is not what this particular kid of ours actually needs.


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tinas3muskateers* 
I am going to get him tested for allergins. We try to eat as organic as we can and never ever give him food with dyes and artifical junk. When it comes to sleep, he gets 10 hours, but he doesnt have a normal bed time persay, its on again off again, between 10 and midnight. He sleeps till 9ish. He was never left to cio, he was nursed till 26 months, slung, etc. We co-sleep as well. I am still searching for a good person to take him too. Thank you for the allergin suggestion.

What about personal care products? DD2 reacts just as strongly to red dye on her hands (say from pink soap or lotion) as she does from ingesting it.

Also, the Feingold Program eliminates TBHQ, BHA, and BHT- preservatives that can "hide" in all kinds of apparently natural foods. I avoid them as much as possible but I've never really tested DD to see how she reacts to them (I'm slightly less vigilant when we're away from home- there might be a BH preservative in the pan spray of the cakes she eats at shul, but I won't purchase any foods that list it on the ingredient panel.)

Plus stage 1 of Feingold eliminates salicylates- a chemical found in some natural foods, such as apples, almonds, tomatoes, and peppers. I didn't find that DD reacts to them, so we no longer avoid them. But it's something else to look into- even organic apples have salicylates in them (but pears and kiwis don't.) I know there are other naturally occuring chemicals in foods that some people react to, but salicylates are the only ones I'm familiar with.


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## BusyBeeMom (May 15, 2005)

Also, I wanted to add that I think trying to compile a really thorough history - medical and behavioral - may be a very important step toward figuring out what's going on. I would see if you can get an appt with the pedi and specifically ask, in advance, for as much time as possible. It may help to have someone with you who can take DS into another room so you can discuss w/the doctor with less anxiety. I would do the same w/any other docs/therapists you see, and try to get copies of all the records so each person you consult can have as full a picture as possible. Sometimes an oddball virus can trigger some other condition for instance. In addition to hearing, allergies, etc., I'd also consider gastrointestinal and visual issues, to be sure to be ruling out medical problems.

Again, good luck, this must be such a stressful time.


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## Tinas3muskateers (May 19, 2004)

Thank you all so much! What an out pouring of understanding and information. Blessing to you all! I am so glad I posted. I am still in search for a Psych that can help us and I have talked to his ped in the past. We had his sugar tested at one point to rule that out but never did allergies. I will post this on the Special needs board to get more info. My middle child had some of the same behaviors when he was this age but they were less frequent and he was over all a happy child with some behavior issues, Isaiah is an unhappy child with behavior issues, huge difference. He is so moody, whiney, cries a lot, just irritable all the time. Again thank you for all your post I really do appreciate them!


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## babblingbrook (Dec 6, 2007)

Just a quick post--I have 2 that are those kids at times, fun fun. For us the triggers are dairy (big time), not enough sleep, food dyes, and high sal foods like strawberries etc. The easiest thing to try first would be eliminating dairy, you might be surprised.
I have seen the book "Sleepless in America--Is your Child misbehaving or missing sleep" mentioned a lot of times on the boards. I still need to read it properly, but the author does mention the amounts of sleep a child needs, so I would check into that.


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## Kathryn B (Jan 23, 2007)

How is the general environment in your home? Is it generally peaceful and playful or are things more stressful? How do you generally respond to his "dark" comments; does he get a shocked, "Why do you say things like that?" or an inquisitive, "Oh my, you must have some pretty bad feelings right now, what's going on?"

I have a nephew whom we took care of for a year when he was twelve (behaviorally, he was about 5 or 6 at the time) and he would say all sorts of things like that. He would also lash out and have screaming fits. It took a few months, but he did end up getting the behavioral skills and the peace he needed to progress and be able to function better -- we did dietary changes and weaned him off his meds (he had Aspergers but had been misdiagnosed as being ADHD and was horrifically over-medicated) and we did a great deal of Love and Logic: http://www.loveandlogic.com/

The year we had him was very difficult and very rewarding. It was a strain on everyone (my children were 12, 11, 8 and 1yr at the time); and I know that things were worse when I let it get to me and didn't stay consistent with the Love and Logic techniques.

I say, absolutely see what you can find out concerning his physical and mental condition and consider if there is anything about the environment in your home that could use a change.

Good luck!


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## ShadowMom (Jun 25, 2004)

You have gotten some great suggestions so far... just wanted to add a couple of things.

A good play therapist is worth their weight in gold. They are not ALL good, but a lot of them are. And the relationship is not only very beneficial, but they can tell a lot about what is going on with a child, once the therapeutic relationship has been established.

Children really do heal themselves through play (we could learn a thing or two from that) and the play therapist has given me a lot of great suggestions to build connectivity with my DS, to help his anxiety, to help him feel safer, etc.

You can screen them over the phone pretty easily - ask just about anyone what they think of the more controversial of your parenting decisions (breastfeeding or whatever) and describe your child's behavior and ask them for some preliminary suggestions on dealing with it, and you'll rapidly find out where they stand on things.

You have gotten lots of great suggestions, but just wanted to plug that idea - if you have insurance that covers it, and find a good one, they are a wonderful source of information.


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## Tuesday (Mar 3, 2003)

I just wanted to offer a hug and say I think I have that child as well too. But things have got much better since he turned 5.

Our DS sounds similar to your DS (although it is really hard to judge people based on posts, right?). He's been to developmental pediciatricians, counsellors, and a child psychiatrist. Essentially I was told he was not autistic and was not yet diagnosed with any mood disorder and was intense and to read The Explosive Child. Which I did read. But still, we have issues.

And my DH is more old schooled as you call it. Trust me, we have tried the "old school" approach and it doesn't work. It's so irritating when people say, "What that child needs is a good spanking". Anyone who has an intense moody miserable child understands that being an authoritarian "ruler" and punishing and spanking your child only heightens their anxieties and the intensity of their breakdowns. I think non-AP people have this idea that traditional discipline works with intense kids when actually that sort of discipline only likely "Works" with more compliant docile kids. It breaks their spirit.

Well - back to your DS. Definitely, talk to another psychologist or psychiatrist.

My DS was really worrying me and he says what I call bizarre things. I don't know what you mean but I mean he talks about hurting and killing people when he is upset.

Then I realized he must be projecting his anxieties and angers and this is the only way he is able to articulate them. He has a speech delay and a maturity delay and he is terribly anxious. We finally found a compassionate psychologist who assured me yes - these statements are an expression of anxiety, anger, fears - not necessarily indicative of some sort of mental illness.

I'm going terribly off track here but I had to share. I started reading a famous Canadian novel called, "Who Has Seen The Wind" by W.O. Mitchell. It's about a little boy growing up in the prairies. The books starts off and the boy is around 5 years old and he is extremely angry with his family for paying so much attention to his ill younger brother. He speaks of wishing he had a pocket knife so he could chop up his family members and feed their body parts to the ants in the dirt. The book was written in 1947. The author conveyed more to me with his opening chapter about my son than any mental health professional has.

My point is sometimes "bizarre" is not that bizarre.

We are awaiting a visit from a ECE worker who specializes in teaching parenting strategies to parents with intense kids. It's a program that is offered through a Children's Mental Health Centre at a local hospital.

It's free but a long waiting list. I'm in Ontario, Canada. Not sure what resources you have but perhaps there are similar things for you to try?

My DS was a colicky miserable baby and continued in this fashion as he developed. Sure he is sometimes happy but many times I see an anxious, miserable, screaming emotional mess. So stressful.

But I can't believe it - the guy turned 5 in May and slowly he seems to be improving. Partly it's because I'm not reacting in panic every time he does something I perceive as 'alarming'. I've come to think what he does is 'normal'. Or normal enough. And he seems to be developing cognitively so situations that would have made him angry in the past - he can handle.

In fact the past two weeks - his mantra has been, "Okay Mommy". As in I tell him not to do something and explain why and he says, after reflection, "Okay Mommy". And he listens. OMG. This would never happen in the past.

So perhaps seeing different professionals and perhaps age will help. I'll keep my fingers crossed and hope for best. Good luck.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

I agree that this sounds like a medical problem of some sort and not a discipline issue. Why on earth would extended breastfeeding cause this? It scares me that there are people so uninformed in those kinds of positions.

I'd probably both find another psychologist/psychiatrist and check out food allergies at the same time and hopefully find the cause as quickly as possible. I have family members who are bipolar and those who started treatment as children have done very well and had great personal success and happiness in their lives. Not that your son is necessarily bipolar or anything like that, but if he does have a psychiatric problem that doesn't mean he can't have a wonderful live, because he certainly can. If there's something like that going on, you finding help at this age will be a great gift to him.

Hugs to you and your family.


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## PGTlatte (Mar 7, 2004)

Hi, I just want to let you know that I agree with the suggestions of looking for a medical issue, and to add our experience that foods and other sensitivities can have a huge effect on behavior and moods. Before we identified and removed allergens from our DS's diet I was only living minute to minute with him, just surviving, and really it was awful. Now we know....dairy made him violent and really I think psychotic. Eggs made him stim and tune out. Yeast overgrowth made him *extremely* hyperactive, irritable, oversensitive and tantrum-prone. The whole combination together, combined with metal toxicity, was totally overwhelming and unmanageable. It took us over a year to unravel the puzzle and identify each of these things and start dealing with them one at a time. We are still on the journey, always looking for the next thing that helps him, but he has come SO FAR....it's such an amazing change...to get to that child in there







: It's hard but so worth it...please don't give up...there is hope...start looking for answers, turning over one stone at a time and don't stop...follow your heart....you will be your child's best advocate.


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## Greenmama2AJ (Jan 10, 2008)

_My point is sometimes "bizarre" is not that bizarre_.
I think this is so true, mental illness remains one of those taboo subjects in our society. There are so many people who understand what your going through.

I'm so sorry you had to experience the ignorant, though sadly very traditional, views from your first psychologist. Freudian theory at its best -mothers have traditionally been blamed for everything from schizophrenia to depression. I find it so sad that we persecute mothers if their child suffers from a mental or psychological disorder but would never dream of implying the same guilt if their child developed cancer or some other health issue. And you know, shockingly, its only been 50 or so yrs since they used to give people labotomies for this sort of behaviour *shakes head sadly*

I would definetely elliminate food colours and allergens and I would find another psychologist. One that doesn't follow outdated nineteenth century methods. You deserve better.


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## InochiZo (Aug 17, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sledg* 
Check out _The Explosive Child_ by Ross Greene (2005 version) and www.thinkkids.org. _The Challenging Child_, which Lynn recommended, is very good too.









:

I've decided that my DS has very poor social/emotional skills. We went to a party where I knew that he would have a lot of difficulty. I knew that one parent would have to be right there with him the whole time. He was throwing rocks and dirt at the feet of some other kids there when I wasn't right there. He ended up running around the entire time. Thats just how he deals with those social situations that he isn't comfortable just and doesn't have the emotional intelligence to articulate his feelings in the situation. I just finished "The Explosive child." I have been very GD but still needed more help to deal with my DS. It has been so insightful. If I still felt the need to get a psychologist, I would make to sure ask if they were familiar with "The Explosive Child" and/or Collaborative Problem solving.


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