# anyone have a babe who only sleeps in your arms?



## ksylvester (Jan 3, 2007)

I guess I'm actually looking for some support from people whose child outgrew this. DS is 9 mo. and from the beginning has only slept in my arms. I'm getting feedback from others that I'm 'reinforcing bad habits' but it really is the only way we've found for him to sleep for a long period of time.

If you had a child who went from arms sleeping to sleeping next to you, can you tell me if they just outgrew it on their own or if you did anything to encourage the transition? Any advice is appreciated!

Thanks!


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## smallmama (Dec 6, 2006)

Yup. My 13 m.o. is currently napping in my arms. Sorry I can't reassure you on them growing out it, but I have faith that he will.

ETA-oh, but he does just sleep next to me at night. Started out in arms when he was teeny, then he just transitioned on his own to being next to me. In fact, the last 2 months or so he's been actively rolling _away_ from me to sleep all smooshed up next to the bedrail.


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## beesmommy (Aug 13, 2007)

YES! my 8 month old son naps best in my arms or on my lap. If I put him down he wakes almost immediately. He technically sleeps at night without me holding him, but he does have to be touching me--either with his feet on my belly or his arm on my arm or both--if he or I roll too far away, he wakes up, scoots closer to reach me, and goes back to sleep. I don't mind the night-time thing, and I do so enjoy holding him while he naps during the day, but I would dearly love being able to utilize naptime for some me time! The best I can do is to go on a walk at nap time--he sleeps in the ergo pack and the stroller equally well. He is sleeping upon my chest as I type this....


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## Julia2879 (Nov 9, 2006)

My dd is 6 months old and only sleeps in arms. Like the other posts, as soon as I lay her down, she wakes up. I have faith she will sleep by herself someday and remind myself that she won't be a baby forever and to enjoy the cuddling while it lasts. I know it seems like you can't get anything done, but being there for her and building her trust in you is the most important thing in the world!


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## guitarmama (Jul 7, 2005)

My 18 mo. is growing out of it. I still can't put her down at nap time, but I can at bed time.


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## Peony (Nov 27, 2003)

Yep, currently holding a sleeping 9 month old DD2. DD1 was this way too, as soon as she turned 2y I was able to put her down all the time. Am hoping DD2 progresses quicker then that because it's hell trying to keep the first child quiet so the second one will sleep.







:


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## silverkts (Jan 2, 2007)

DD slept in my arms until I went back to work after a year. She easily transitioned to sleeping alone when my mom started putting her down for naps. So maybe if your DP or another trusted adult is around to help get your DS down for sleep, you may find transitioning easier.
FWIW, DD stills naps in my arms during the weekends, but that's only because I miss the cuddling, but she'll go if I put her down.


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## Sheal (Apr 19, 2007)

Right now he's sleeping in my arms...yup definitely btdt - don't mind though


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## Mama2Bean (Mar 20, 2007)

yep, my 8 1/2 mo. dd also is a lap or arms-only baby for naps, sometimes next to me in bed. she will sleep next to me at night. when she was new it was arms-only.


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## aran (Feb 9, 2005)

nak

i have my second in-arms sleeper on my lap now! ds1 (3 yo) needed encouragement to stop... and it took many many days of trying. he was about 2 yo when he stopped, but he still sleeps best crammed up against dh or me, or lying on one of us like a pillow. here's the technique that finally worked: i would nurse him to sleep in arms, wait about 10 minutes, then transfer him to the bed while he was still latched on, wait for a pause in suckling that was 6 breaths long, and then de-latch him w/o moving any other part of my body. if he didn't wake up, i would get up after another few breaths. ds2 is more laid back and ill occasionally sleep w/o a human mattress, thankfully.

eta: we encouraged ds1 to stop because he was too big to be held anymore. he was sleeping only *on top of* people and he became too heavy and bulky for that.


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## e.naomisandoval (Aug 30, 2005)

My older daughter did this for years and I assumed it was 'cause she was highly sensitive. My little one is not, but she still likes a good thing. My older daughter stopped at around 4. My little one is 3 and still prefers to do all her sleeping on or next to me. Knowing the end is in sight, I am not in such a rush to end this.


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## chel (Jul 24, 2004)

As a newborn dd had to sleep on my chest.
Even now dd cuddles up right next to me at night. She still prefers to have me face her as she falls asleep. It's nice that we can have conversations about this. dd is a born cuddlers. But, yes it does get better.
I've never try to break her of this and luckily it works fine with our family's schedule. We all go to bed at the same time, but Dh and I wake earlier. Eventually, it got to the point that dd would just roll over and go back to sleep once her sensor went off letting her know that no one was beside her.


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## bigeyes (Apr 5, 2007)

I did. He's 10 now and finally can sleep by himself. But he only did that from about 7 years old.


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## firemommaof1 (Jul 3, 2006)

We have those nights where dd (3 mos) will only sleep peacefully in the nook of my arm... those are not the best nights for mama!


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## sunnymw (Feb 28, 2007)

DS is 10MO and fill finally sleep next to me on the bed, but daytime is a little different...

If I WANT to put him down, it has to be within the first few minutes of him falling asleep, and it's a process. First, while in arms, I replace breast with paci. If he cries, it means he was still actually sleepnursing and I start over (lol). Anyway, once he takes paci, we both go lie on the couch, him in my arms, then roll over to where he is using my arm as a pillow. Then I wait NO LESS THAN five minutes. Then I roll him off of my arm and lay with my breast on his cheek, for no less than five minutes. Then I place a blanket over him and sliiiiiiiide sneakily away.

And it usually only works for ONE nap a day. But hey, whatever


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## hibana (Jun 9, 2006)

Yes, and she's doing it now.


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## Al Dente (Jan 8, 2004)

I don't know if this is what you want to hear







but ds was exactly that way and didn't stop until he was about 12 months old. Then I had to be right next to him for him to sleep-I swear he had radar the minute I rolled over or tried to get off the bed. Nightweaning helped a bit, at 27 months, but we didn't successfully move him to his own bed until right before Christmas this year, so he was about 30 months old. His bed is right next to ours and he happily sleeps all night.

He is VERY independent now, however, despite being ultra clingy and high needs as a baby. I don't think you're reinforcing "bad" behavior because this is obviously what your ds needs. I must admit, I enjoyed saying "I told you so" to people who told me he would never learn to do anything away from me and would be a whiny spoiled kid (yes, that was the phrase).


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## Nan'sMom (May 23, 2005)

Yup--mine has to be held to sleep, then can lie down at night next to me, or sometimes for naps. She is 20 months old and I am just now starting to be able to put her in bed by herself for a few hours when she falls asleep and put her down for naps sometimes. She used to just wake right up. She is very independent the rest of the time and I think she's needed the extra contact while sleeping.


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## o4smommy (Jul 22, 2006)

OMG! I cant read this...20 mos old, 30 mos old...i cant imagine that far ahead..still not being able to function?...6 month old DD wont sleep either in my arms or anywhere for that matter..i guess she one of those babies who dont need sleep?







..my body is going into self destruct mode now..serious migraines from sleep deprivation and Im out of coffee creamer!







: its 4year old DS who really suffers,,cant play with him because his sis is always crying...

maybe it would be ok if iw as one of those people who can fall asleep sitting up, driving, instantly...sadly im not..when i do get her asleep by the time i wound down shes up again..

sorry i cant help..but im suffering right here with you


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## khrys (Aug 1, 2005)

Ds also would only sleep touching me, although he now will sleep for a couple hours by himself after nursing to sleep (28 mo). I have no idea if this might help anyone (we didn't try it), but it might be worth a try: weighted blankets. They are mentioned quite a bit in the special needs forum here.


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## mummyc (Jun 25, 2007)

my DD (5mo) has started to do this... and she was previously napping and sleeping at night with very little help from me. Goes to show that sometimes it's not habit nor sleep associations, it can occur for whatever reason, I guess.


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## nascarbebe (Nov 4, 2006)

my little guy would only sleep in my arms for the first three mos. then after that I could put him down and he learned to fall asleep in the stroller on walks for naps. But at night he wanted his mom. He just turned two and he's a sweet normal toddler. To be honest I can't really remember when he learned to sleep without me but I still love it when he wakes up in the middle of the night and wants to join us in bed. Even though I wake up sore from sleeping in a weird position.

You're a good mom for listening to your baby's needs. You'll be amazed how independent and confident he/she'll be because of that.


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## snt88 (May 9, 2007)

I'll try to provide some hope!

When dd was younger she would sometimes only slept when I held her. I would sometimes manage to lie down on my side while still holding her, then gradually move more and more of her weight to the bed, then lie there for a while with my arms still around her, then gradually remove my arms.

Even if it won't work now, I think you have to keep trying to put your babe down. Some day it WILL work.


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## Margot Adler (Jun 2, 2007)

my ds, who sleeps in bed with me and dh, won't nap except in arms. i am trying to slowly transition him to sleeping next to me on the bed for naps... it is not easy, i feel for you mamma.


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## lld (Jul 16, 2007)

Good to know I'm not the only one out there stuck under my baby


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## nonnymommy (May 15, 2004)

Yes! DD1 had to sleep on me, then next to me but got to the point where I could nurse her to sleep and get up around 18 months. She's 5 now and sleeps in her little bed in my room which she's been doing for about 6 months. DD2 sleeps in arms or next to me for naps and next to me at night. She's 14 months and I am leaving her to get up sporadically and sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't.


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## hipmummy (May 25, 2007)

Ds is 11 months and up until today seriously today he has never napped longer than 45 minutes unless he was in my arms. Today he slept for two hours in our bed and I was not there. As for night he started to sleep on his own for about three hours when he was 4 months old. We did nothing special. We started a routine at about three months nothing rigid, something very flexible. Wash up story, and side lying. Eventually it was earlier and earlier we are at 8:00?8:30 now. It will get better.


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## kokonutmama (Feb 12, 2006)

mmhmm. Mine was able to nurse down and sneak very carefully away starting about 6 months, but he nursed non-stop until then. He still really only falls asleep nursing, though sneaking away has gotten much easier and he doesn't nurse 24 hours a day anymore. Good thing since he's pushing 3yo now, lol!


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## DBassett (May 15, 2007)

Yep. We just went through this a few minutes ago. I tried to put Logan down and he woke up. Now he's wide awake and getting into everything so my chance to get anything done just went away







He sleeps beside me at night and SOMETIMES I can put him down in his bed for a nap but usually he wakes up.


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