# Anyone else scared to cosleep?



## SGVaughn (Nov 17, 2006)

ok, this isnt a judgement question at ALL
I think anyone who is comfortable with co-sleeping should go for it

but here are my fears and please dont think that I think they should be YOUR fears!

My ex brother in laws preemie baby girl died in their bed 4 days after bringing her home, my partner ( for the ambulance ) wound up with the call with another partner of mine...obviously everyone was horrified by this I certaintly didnt get it worse then the parents but I was horrified on three fronts, my former family (whom I still consider family to a degree) had this huge emotional and tragic thing happen, my usual everyday working partner for my job was seriously screwed up by this call and couldnt talk to me about it at all because I was too 'close' to the family for the expected/normal investigation for untimely death and as a parent I was heart wrenched for the family and watched as CPS took their older child and havent given her back yet to date (4 yrs now)

And Ive had babies sleep on their back with no bedding other then perhaps a very light blanket in their own flat/firm surface bed of whatever variety BEAT into my head on multiple fronts (dr's, other EMS workers, other parents, pedi etc)
both my daughters frequently napped with their naked little bodies on my naked chest if I was awake enough to remain conscious on the couch almost always on their stomachs, but that was it.
they both slept in their cribs from the word go, except DD #2 often slept in her carseat next to my bed because she was a 34 week baby (good health and weight) and it stressed me out to have her out of sight until she looked more like a full termer to me

anyway share your thoughts on it, I think I just needed to let that out cuz it makes me feel like Im missing something important by NOT co-sleeping.


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## tinkinpink84 (Oct 4, 2006)

when my son was born i was afraid of the sids thing, he slept in his bassinet for the first 3-4 mths with that thing so he couldnt turn over , hubby was away at basic training at the time but around um 6-7 mths he slept in my bed with me . But when he slept in my bed i took all pillows and blankets off the bed , it was a lil uncomfy for me but i got used to it as long as joseph slept good wich he tended to more so in my bed then the playpen . he recently had learned to stand and his crib matress was too high and hubby did it up so tight i couldnt lower it so i used the playpen and my bed but he slept longer in my bed. once we moved here to germany , it was just the playpen and now his toddler bed. we did have him sleep in our bed sometimes when he woke up early cuz then he went back to sleep and once when we were babysitting our friends daughter we had the 2 of em in bed with us lmao, with hubby i doubt id co sleep any kids , hes a heavy sleeper. i feel safe doing it on my own but i am a really really light sleeper


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## tinkinpink84 (Oct 4, 2006)

i also wouldnt recommend co sleepin a preemie, most have enough probs of there own and need there own breathing space etc i would personally be scared of that , even full term id wait a few mths


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## melanie83103 (Jun 23, 2006)

I think you should go with what feels right! If co-sleeping is not right for your family, that's fine! The important thing, IMO, is to be responsive to baby at all times, night and day. And it sounds like you do that without co-sleeping.

I actually wanted my son to sleep in a pack n play beside my bed (sidecar) when he was born. But he totally vetoed that!!! He screamed his head off sleeping anywhere but snuggled next to mommy. And luckily, I found that I loved having him right next to me, and my fears about sleeping with a newborn went away.

If you feel like you are too worried/afraid to have a newborn in bed with you, but you want to try co-sleeping, why not try a co-sleeper attachement? Then you get the best of both worlds.









Melanie


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## amnda527 (Aug 6, 2006)

I plan on going with the arms reach co-sleeper. I want to have the baby close to me, but not actually in the bed. My husband thrashes around when he sleeps, and it is not uncommon for me to wake up because he elbowed me really hard or kicked me or something. It is enough to wake me up and wanna slap him! So, because of this, I really can't imagine having a newborn mixed in with it. My gut feeling is telling me that this is not a choice for us.


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

People need to cosleep safely. I dont think its a good idea to cosleep with a newborn when you are under the influence of drugs or alcohol. I think if both you and your husband are very large people you may want to reconsider cosleeping (and I am plus size, and cosleep, but if I was 30-40lbs heavier I wouldnt) I would not cosleep with a preemie. Our daughter was very little when we came home from the hospital and we did not cosleep with her in the bed. I did sleep with her in a chair for part of the night. There is just some guidelines you should go by in cosleeping.
I have coslept wth my children, enjoyed it, not enjoyed it -- you get the picture. I just think you need to be safe about it.


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## torio (Jun 14, 2006)

DH and I have talked about what we might do. Like a PP said, he's a thrasher and he's a little worried that he wouldn't be conscious of the baby. I'm thinking that once the baby is here we'll be able to figure out what will work best, but meanwhile have been considering options. We've got a crib that can convert to co-sleep attached to the bed. I've also read that it can work better if baby isn't in the middle provided you have a bedrail. We'd like to be able to co-sleep especially during the months the baby nurses through the night. Any other ideas from those of you who've done this before? Thanks.


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## RoadBuddy (May 19, 2005)

Yeah, I'm nervous about it too. I'm a thrasher, plus I need to have a blanket over my head to sleep. It's strange. I've tried going to bed with the blanket tucked in as tight as I can get it, and low. Somehow, it ends up covering my head by the time I wake up







I'm probably NOT a good candidate for cosleeping, so I'm in the market for a basinnet or something to go next to the bed. I'm kind of sad about it, but I've been a active sleeper as long as I can remember.


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## GooeyRN (Apr 24, 2006)

I was afraid to co-sleep at first. DD was low birthweight and a couple weeks early. We would let her sleep on us when we were awake, but during the night she did not sleep in our bed. We tried her in the bassinet but she would have no part of it. She wound up sleeping swaddled in her car seat for a few months, (it helped with her reflux) next to me. (I slept on the couch) We were only inches away from each other.

We then moved her to a pack and play around 4 months, b/c she kept hitting her head on the wood slats of the crib when she would roll over. At 8 months old, we felt comfortable to move her to our bed since she was able to crawl and move as she needed to. She was also much larger, so we did not worry about crushing her. And if we roll into her, she protests loudly. She likes her space, do not invade it or she will throw a fit.









You need to do what you feel comfortable with. I personally will not have a small baby in my bed. Not until the are old enough/big enough to move around and withstand rolling out of bed accidentally.


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## Peppamint (Oct 19, 2002)

I was afraid to co-sleep with my first baby. Finally after falling asleep sitting up in the rocker for late-night feedings I worked through my fear and we've happily co-slept since.

Get the facts and if you still aren't comfortable co-sleeping, then consider a bassinet by the bed.


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## stacyann21 (Oct 21, 2006)

This is why I'm using the Arms Reach Co-sleeper! My matress is a pillowtop and is too squishy even without blankets and pillows.


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

It's simple biology. Show me another mammal that regularly abandons their babies in sleep. It just doesn't happen.

Do some research on Dr. Sears' website or search for dr. McKenna. Co-sleeping is safer than infants sleeping alone.

-Angela


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## sofiabugmom (Sep 23, 2003)

The reason we co-slept (and kinda still do and DD's 4yo) is that it was the ONLY way the whole family could get sleep at night. It was never our intention, but ended up part of our lifestyle by necessity. Yes, it was nice and cozy, but there are many other ways to bond with your babes.

Go with what works for your family ... you know them best!


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## hubris (Mar 8, 2003)

I'm sorry to hear about your ex-BIL's loss, what a horrible thing to happen. I can understand why a family tragedy like that could cause you to worry. A few links that might be reassuring:

http://www.babyreference.com/Cosleep...SFactSheet.htm (the crib industry aspect is interesting, don't trust "advice" from people who want to sell you something)

http://www.attachmentparenting.org/a...scosleep.shtml (physiological benefits of cosleeping)

http://www.lalecheleague.org/NB/NBSepOct01p175.html (advising against cosleeping is inappropriate, and studies don't account for factors that differentiate between cosleeping arrangements)

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T071000.asp (Doc Sears weighs in)

It is absolutely safe for a healthy infant to sleep with his or her parents. Breastfeeding and cosleeping are the biological norm and have many benefits for parents and babies.

I heard all the hype before giving birth to my first son and the anti-cosleeping info just plain felt wrong to me. Every SIDS story I've heard had some extenuating circumstance - an intoxicated parent, blatently unsafe sleeping arrangements, a baby with health problems. Sleeping together helps mothers and babies to be in sync with each other, which is great for bonding but also further reduces the chances of the baby dying of SIDS because of the way the mother and baby's sleep cycles work together, and the way the sleeping arrangment encourages the mother's natural protective instincts.

We never bought a co-sleeper or anything like that. I might purchase one if we had a circumstance like a parent who has a sleep disorder, or if we smoked. I'm a sprawler/thrasher but instinct kicked in hard once my babies were born and my sleep style changed. I never feared for their safety at all.


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## hubris (Mar 8, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alegna* 
It's simple biology. Show me another mammal that regularly abandons their babies in sleep. It just doesn't happen.

Exactly what I was trying to say.

Quote:

Do some research on Dr. Sears' website or search for dr. McKenna. Co-sleeping is safer than infants sleeping alone.
LOL, while you posted this I was pasting the links! The askdrsears and lalecheleague links are the ones you want.


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## BumbleBena (Mar 18, 2005)

DH and I had this discussion not too long ago- we have a full-size pillowtop, DH is a light sleeper, but also moves around a lot, and will sometimes nudge me off the bed!









Our solution (since we can't afford a bigger bed right now) was to use a crib someone has given us as a sidecar on my side of the bed. That way I can nurse through the night, the baby is never more than an arm's length away, and DH can squirm to his heart's content without having to worry if he's rolling over onto the baby.

*Ideally* we would probably buy a bigger bed, but hopefully this will work for us. Do you have a crib, or are you able to get one?


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## captain optimism (Jan 2, 2003)

I read the issue of Mothering about co-sleeping. I think you can probably get it from the library. It lists the risk factors and benefits from research. It's important that babies whose mothers smoked when they were pregnant NOT sleep in the same bed with their parents in infancy, because there is a risk there. Also that parents who sleep heavily (night shift, alcohol or drug use) not co-sleep. There were some other safety recommendations. Generally, where there is a low rate of smoking and a high rate of cosleeping, the rates of SIDS are lowest. (There was a nice chart in the issue of Mothering, showing a country breakdown.)

We used an Arm's Reach for awhile. Now we just all sleep in the same bed. It's been good for us. I don't have any judgment about where people put their babies to bed, as long as everyone in the family--baby, mom, dad, sibs--gets what they need. For me, as a WOHM in my child's first year, it was critical to be able to have him in the same room and mostly, in the same bed, in order to keep nursing going. But other families I know didn't need to do that.


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## georgia (Jan 12, 2003)

Here is one of MM's articles:

http://www.mothering.com/articles/ne...hue-carey.html

If you go to mothering.com's main page and do a search for co-sleeping, there's a wealth of info


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## fremontmama (Jun 11, 2004)

Honestly, before dd was born, I was a little nervous about cosleeping. I was thinking, how could I possibly know not to roll over on her? My mom assured me that once baby is born that you really do develop a special tuned in feeling towards your baby. And she was right. Dd slept in bed with us and the first few months, every little movement and snuffle was completely on my radar. And now that she is two, I still am tuned in to her sleep patterns and movements, but can sleep through all but the important stuff.

We had an arm's reach co-sleeper given to us as a gift prior to the birth, but we didnt use it for night time sleeping except maybe once. It was just much much easier to have dd in bed with us. It was nice to have something right next to the bed though to put all the little post-birth accoutrements of water and lanolin and spit up rags and the dr sears baby book and a little nite lite, etc.









That being said, I have absolutely no knowledge of preemie co-sleeping, I think there are probably other safety guidelines for preemies in that arena, I don't know.

And for a really wonderful list of safety guidelines for co-sleeping check out the No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. She has a great checklist. Dr. Sears has great words to say on the subject as well.


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## georgia (Jan 12, 2003)

Here is a MM list of co-sleeping articles...great stuff that I hope everyone can find comfort in...because mama and babies are designed to sleep together...whether the AAP or the crib/bedding maufacturers or other "suspect experts" say otherwise.

I have close family experience with losing an infant due to _not_ co-sleeping, so there was never any doubt in my mind where my babies (and children







) would be.

I might be wrong, but I think I've read that having babies sleep in carseats actually decreases their oxygen supply. So, something that might seem "safer" isn't necessarily so---same applies to co-sleeping, IMO, culturally, it might seem typical (implied "safer") for babies to be separated in cribs, but in reality, it's normal for our species and thus optimal for their development, in most circumstances, for babies and mamas to be together.


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## mollyeilis (Mar 6, 2004)

So what did they determine happened with the preemie? Was it SIDS? Was it overlying? Was it something else, something preemie-related that would have happened even if she were alone in a crib? Without that information, how on earth can one make any sort of non-kneejerk decision?

That's SO sad that they've taken away their older kiddo...







That makes me think there was something pretty big, far beyond regular co-sleeping, going on...

I'm a die-hard family bed person, but the preemie thing would even scare me. However, it would very likely simply mean that I'd go beyond the little wedge sleep positioners we used at the start to "train" ourselves (we were also exhausted and I was taking percocet, so we really wanted to have something other than Eamon to nudge if we moved too much in our sleep), and would get one of those 3-sided co-sleeping things...what are they called? One of them has a little light in it so you can see the baby if you wish... Anyway, I would use one of those with a preemie.

Even in this thread the idea of *something happening* while co-sleeping has gotten mixed up with SIDS. SIDS, by definition, can't be explained. Yes, scientists are trying (last I heard they are finding abnormalities in the brainstem of babies who died of SIDS, which would then make a bunch of sense with the "back to sleep" thing...if you have a baby with a brainstem issue, you don't want them twisting their head that far like a baby does while sleeping on their bellies), and of course I have all sorts of theories (not a scientist but I like to think I can be logical every so often), but still, it's an unknown cause.

If it's suffocation or a parent squishing their bodies (sorry,







: ), then that's not SIDS. If it's something preemie-related, it's still not SIDS. And if it's SIDS, well, having a family bed LOWERS the risk of that, and "cot/crib death" (the old phrase for SIDS...you can imagine that crib-makers helped to get rid of THAT name!) happens in cribs. And a preemie-related thing would have happened if baby were sleeping away from parents...

But putting all that aside, the family bed is universal. As Angela says, no other mammal keeps the kids away. Deaths like SIDS and overlying and all that, those are the exceptions. If we start making decisions based on exceptions, well, we're not doing much of anything, yes? I mean, I do make some decisions based on the fear of exceptions; I won't go bungee-jumping, for instance, nor will I BASE jump. Those just seem nutty to me.







But something that most every culture still does, something that all mammals do, with only very few problems? That, to me, is not a real-enough risk to not do.

But if you don't wanna, you don't wanna.


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## 425lisamarie (Mar 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alegna* 
It's simple biology. Show me another mammal that regularly abandons their babies in sleep. It just doesn't happen.

Do some research on Dr. Sears' website or search for dr. McKenna. Co-sleeping is safer than infants sleeping alone.

-Angela

Yup

I think people have forgotten that we are mammals. If a tiger tried to force independence on her cubs, they would have been eaten by another animal.


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## Trillian (Nov 21, 2006)

The week we brought DS home, there were 3 separate stories in the newspapers of babies who died in their parents' beds.







It may just have been a statistical fluctuation, but it still made us feel worried about bedsharing, so DS sleeps in his crib just a few feet from our bed. He sleeps well and is happy there, so I don't feel bad about that decision. (I did sometimes take the covers off the bed to nurse him lying down during the early days when I was too tired to keep my eyes open, and if we both fell asleep there, DH would move the baby back into his crib. I also love to let him sleep on my tummy or next to me when I am awake.)


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## jadzia's_mommy (Jun 9, 2005)

I was nervous about it with oldest DD. We wanted to co-sleep, and we bought a snuggle nest for the bed, because I thought it would be too unsafe to just have her laying in the bed. Well, she slept in that thing maybe 10 minutes. Then I'd have her sleep in the swing a lot, and by week 3 I had her sleeping propped on my chest. I asked our ped about it, and he is totally pro-co-sleeping and told me it is perfectly fine and safe. I learned to nurse in a side lying position, and we just started sleeping like that all night. As others said, you really really do get a sense of where your baby is, even if you don't think you will. I'd always been a heavy sleeper. I was one of those people who slept 8 or 9 hours straight without even waking up to use the bathroom. But when DD was there, I found I knew where she was even in my sleep.

The McKenna study is good. The way the ped was explaining it to me, the carbon dioxide emitted by the mother's breath actually causes the baby to take deeper breaths and so they are less likely to suddenly stop breathing in the night. I thought that was really interesting.


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## ndunn (Mar 22, 2006)

How many babies die every year sleeping in cribs?

Ofcourse no one is afraid of cribs because our society is half assed backwards.


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## lhowlett (Mar 11, 2006)

I'm with a previous poster. I cosleep with our 10month old (DC #2), but only when he gets up to eat. Then he'll usually sleep a couple hours with us till morning. The problem is though, I don't get good quality sleep at all, and I think a lot of the time he doesn't either. He gets restless in our bed, and I can't sleep because I get jumpy if he's on the outside and I worry about him rolling off. And now that he crawls, exhausting! I have to keep awake the whole time because he'll crawl right off.

How do you mama's that cosleep more than I do handle the rolling and crawling thing?


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## bri276 (Mar 24, 2005)

I think that horrible tragedy had much more to do with the fact the baby was a preemie.









My dd does have health issues, (low muscle tone, cleft palate which causes her to struggle to breathe in certain positions even now that it's repaired, other stuff too). We chose to use the arm's reach cosleeper at first b/c we had a waterbed, and then as time went on b/c it became obvious that mostly it is unsafe for her to sleep w/ us all night. she is literally about 6-12 inches away from me, the minute she cries I pick her up. No tigers have eaten her yet.









I agree that for most ppl cosleeping is very safe and great. I also don't think it's the end of the world for the baby to be in their own space but very close to you, I think it's still cosleeping b/c they can see you, hear you, and you can still respond to them immediately.


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## mollyeilis (Mar 6, 2004)

bri, the Arms Reach IS co-sleeping...









lhowlett, when my guy could make his way to the edge of the bed, we spent a day teaching him how to get off foot-first. First we took turns showing him what to do, how to get off foot-first, and what it looked like. Then we did it for him, sort of pulling him across the bed, then turning him around at the edge, and letting him sink feet-first to the floor, narrating the whole way. We made sure he knew what it felt like, to have his feet on the floor and that that feeling meant he was OK and on the ground.

And that was it!

He sleeps in between us, b/c his personality added to a bed-rail would likely have meant launching off the rail. But we did have a rail, long enough to put it on the bed, look at it skeptically, and take it down to return it.







Between us worked out very well.

Of course, we did have the bed on the ground from a few days postpartum until he was coming up on two...so that did make falls a little bit less scary.

The main time he fell off the bed, I was right there, taking pictures of his cuteness. I watched (and took pictures) as he fell, not even THINKING that he was falling, b/c I was seeing it through a lens. He was fine, but I felt terrible. And I was right there, awake and supposedly aware! We've never had a problem like that while sleeping.


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## georgia (Jan 12, 2003)

Quote:

also love to let him sleep on my tummy
But that's so risky
















To paraphrase Dr. McKenna, we are NOT bats. Humans are designed to nurse frequently. Keeping baby close at all times is simply biologically normal...not culturally typical, but normal none-the-less









We have had our mattress and box springs on the floor for seven years now. No bed frame. It has worked wonderfully for the getting out of/falling out of bed thing.


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## **guest** (Jun 25, 2004)

I was nervous at first but I'm such a light sleeper, I woke up even if ds breathed differently. Every time he moved, I woke up.
The first few nights, he sleep in his moses basket....placed next to me on the bed.
Then, I could only get him to sleep in the crook of my arm. He absolutely loved it and it pretty much made the possibility of me turning over very slim.


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## Ahimsa (Apr 7, 2004)

Quote:

We have had our mattress and box springs on the floor for seven years now. No bed frame. It has worked wonderfully for the getting out of/falling out of bed thing.










I also had just a box spring and a mattress on the floor and up against the fall for the first year and a half or so. Also, I was so aware the first few months; most of the time we slept belly to belly, but if Kai moved or rolled over I knew it right away.


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## GoddessKristie (Oct 31, 2006)

I have really wanted to co-sleep for some time now, but as my pregnancy has gone on I started to get really scared about it. So, we just got this on Wednesday. We gave it a trial run that night and I love it! The sides at the top and the bottom are hard plastic so it's nearly impossible to roll onto. Plus it has a flap that goes under your mattress to secure it in place. We did take it out the next morning because being so pregnant I needed more room to move around, but it definatly kept me from doing anything that might harm the baby that may have been in there. I totally trust it, I get to be close to the baby (closer than arms reach), and I'm thinking that by the time baby outgrows it I'll be so attuned to his/her needs that there'll be no worries about roll-overs. Plus I'll be used to sleeping in my space and not rolling over into the baby's area I don't think I'll have any fears.
We're so excited to co-sleep!


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## octobermom (Aug 31, 2005)

DD was a 5lb newborn but full term. Even though I'd done my research knew she'd be fine with us and we had a safe bed it just totally freeked me out having such a tiny thing in with us. At the same time I totally wanted her close so close I could touch her. We did the sidecarred bassinet thing untill she was about 5 months then we discovered how to sidecar a crib and that was a great solution for us.


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## formerluddite (Nov 16, 2006)

with dd1 we initially had her in a bassinet at bedside, but we noticed all these fits and starts to her breathing, including pauses (apnea) of up to maybe six seconds. we would anxiously count "one one thousand, two on thousand..." and wait for her to start up again with a gasp. we read that this was normal in baby books. well, it became impossible to just lay next to her and listen; i'd reach out and as soon as i touched her, she would take a breath. soon i got more relaxed with the lying down feeding and would fall asleep nursing and wake up 2 hrs later with her next to us, and little by little she was in the bed for good. we stuffed a long thin tightly rolled towel into the crack by the headboard, and for a while another between baby and papa to keep him aware of boundaries, and looked into other safety advice. but the main thing i remember was that she apnea'd much less, because of the stimulation of constant contact.

when dd2 came along we were much different in our approach; we had given away the never used crib (except for laundry or for dd1 to jump in like a trampoline...), we had an unassisted birth ( unplanned: fast labor, slow midwife, but i had deeply wanted an "undisturbed" birth, just lacked the confidence to plan it, so my body stepped in and did it anyway) and coslept from the start. she also had her apneas, and i would play a game where i would wait various lengths of time (2-6 secs), and then take a deep breath myself. every time she would start a breath immediately after i started mine. mostly, though, i just found that i would move my hand a little without really thinking about it, being in tune and cueing her.

you learn to sleep differently after they come, and you were sleeping with them for nine months already...you know them already. and IMO if they're in bed with you from the start, all the time, they learn how to sleep with you, too. they make room for you, they learn where "their" spot is, just like you learned to sleep with your mate. i also think fewer people would have trouble sleeping with a mate if they had learned to sleep with other people all along, instead of being trained to need isolation and space for 20 years and then trying to change.

on the subject of the in-bed sleep "nests," isn't it funny how cosleeping can be supported by mainstream corporations as long as they can at least make $40 off you?


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

We planned to get one of those nests.... so glad we didn't waste the money. You can't nurse with the baby in there because of the sides- what a pain!

-Angela


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## joybabymama (Nov 14, 2006)

i was a pretty heavy sleeper before my son was born but there is just no way, No Way i could have ever even slept through the teeniest little mutter or sigh from him in my bed. i was so aware of his every move but could just sense what he needed and then drift back off into sleep (or the half-sleep that all mom's shift to), even mid-nursing. that panicky, heart pounding sensation of "is he ok" from across the room or, even worse, in another room entirely, just never appealed to me. how can that be right? unless you are drinking, high, otherwise medicated, really ill or beyond normal mommy exhausted you will be FINE with co-sleeping. it's not scary, it's not hard, it's not uncomfortable, don't panic.
i think that side bed thing is a great idea if you have a super squishy mattress, a kicky spouse (you'll get over being kicky yourself), need to sleep with a blanket over your head, or have a preemie. but another bed, in another room, it's just an inconvenience. it's like boob or bottle. one is always there, the right temperature, no mixing required, ready to go at any time, nutritionally far superior. and the other, unless it's the only option, just an inconvenient hassle in the middle of the night. i'd rather stay in bed, who wouldn't?!

not only that, my very mainstream normal mama friend for some reason instinctively co-slept with her baby and one night sensed that something was wrong. she woke up and turned on the light to find that her son was blue from not breathing. he was born on time, no trauma, breast fed, totally normal and healthy but if she had not had him in the bed with her that night he wouldn't be here today. she's a huge advocate for co-sleeping now even though the idea was new to her when she did it. i'm so very glad that was her decision. i think co-sleeping is an amazing way to prevent sids. like i said, i couldn't have not noticed the smallest change in my little one's breathing when he was with me at night.


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## North_Of_60 (May 30, 2006)

My husband is a BIG guy (big and tall, but also over weight) and so am I. With the exception of a few weeks where she slept better in her own room (still haven't figured out why) she has ALWAYS been right next to our bed. At first with a bassinet, which I could reach in from my side of the bed, and now a side carred crib that has the rail taken off. She has never really been more then 3 feet away, which is much safer because neither hubby or I can smother her. Although, she always wakes up in bed with us. In the early morning hours when we all sleep lighter she stays in bed with us. We just do what we feel is safe, and what makes us the most comfortable.


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## GoddessKristie (Oct 31, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alegna* 
You can't nurse with the baby in there because of the sides- what a pain!

-Angela

I was pretty glad we got ours as a gift becuse they are expensive, but as soon as we got it we put it on the bed and I'll be able to nurse just fine thanks to my huge breasts! I know everyone is different, but we just felt we needed a little something more to feel comfortable at first. Of course, if we bring the baby home and decide we don't want to use it it can always be returned!


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## kaspirant (Apr 28, 2006)

of the institionalized fear that is implanted in the kids who don't sleep next to their mama's.

As a pp said we are mammals and simple biology and observation of the world around us *not just what our back assward society says* there is no doubt that it is safer and better for babies to be with their mama's.

I was never afraid to co-sleep but I'm very fearful of cribs and making a young baby sleep alone. The fear that wakes them up in the middle of the night when they are alone is a high grade fear that is there to keep mammal young from wandering away from safety. That fear for a co-sleeping infant is comforted by the touch and feel and overall comfort found in the parents *protection* next to them. That fear in an infant sleeping alone...is deeply ingrained in who they become. I'd rather my kids know they can trust me. The statistics are there that the infant deaths out of the parents bed FAR outweigh the infant deaths in a HEALTHY cosleeping relationship. Drug use, Alcohol, and Smoking all are often found in co-sleeping infant death cases.

I hope you find the answers you are looking for. For me, there are no questions. Society breeds fear, comsumerism makes it flourish. I'd rather live without


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## onlyboys (Feb 12, 2004)

I believe that my son would have been a SIDS case if we didn't cosleep. He had seizures that came with apnea and had I not been tuned in to his sleeping habits and his breathing sounds, I think he would have died that first night of a seizure.

It chills me to the bone to think that.


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