# No yelling challenge



## AntoninBeGonin (Jun 24, 2005)

Momma of Monkeys gave me this idea







Who is up for a week long no yelling challenge? Today is Thanksgiving so it's the perfect day to start.









~Nay---->


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## Soundhunter (Dec 13, 2003)

I've been doing really good the past few weeks, I think my post partum hormones are chilling out and Emma's also chilling out, plus I've been meditating and working on mindful living which helps immensely.

But....every now and then I still snap for a word or two, then catch mysef and stop and apologize.

I'm up for the challenge of a week, because I feel like I can really do it now. How does a challenge work? What happens if we screw up?


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## lincap (Aug 12, 2005)

I'm up for a challenge... need some tips for relaxing.


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## girlsmamma2 (Jul 12, 2005)

I'd love to join in too! GREAT idea! I've been having a really hard time lately with this. Most recently tonight during bath time when the girls were playing with the door and my 2 yo rammed the door into my 4yo's foot. Dh AND i yelled at her, after a whole day of frustration. I've been feeling just awful about this and I'm starting right now.

I'd love tips for relaxing too. My problem seems to be I hit the anger roof right away. Like there is no time b/w act and anger to try and calm down. I hatehatehate it.


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## witchbaby (Apr 17, 2003)

i'm completely up for it. i've really been working this week on being more respectful of the kids and trying to calm myself before dealing with stressfull situations.


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## Collin'sMama (Jan 24, 2006)

I'm in too. I don't exactly yell, but I use too firm of a voice if that makes any sense. I want to be actually calm in what I say since Collin can sense the tension in my voice even when I try to hide it.


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## hellyaellen (Nov 8, 2005)

i'm up for it.


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## Treasuremapper (Jul 4, 2004)

Sign me up!


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## AntoninBeGonin (Jun 24, 2005)

I thought maybe we could each post how we did at the end of each day (no cheating! LOL) and just encourage each other to either keep up the good work or try harder







If we have tips that work we can post those, too.

I'll go first since Ds is in bed. We went to Dh's aunt's and uncle's for dinner. Ds spent every 2 minutes (like clockwork







) of the first 60 minutes coming home asking to nurse. I never raised my voice or even sounded unpleasant and I owe that to this challenge. It's good for me to have a goal.

~Nay


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## CharlieBrown (Jan 20, 2004)

i'm in and will start tomorrow fresh!


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## AntoninBeGonin (Jun 24, 2005)

Good morning! Ds woke up unexpectedly last night and spent the night in our bed. Between him and lil' sissie I'm drained completely dry.







Still haven't yelled though so that's good.

Oh yeah and if you 'snap' instead of yell you can also join the challenge. This is for anyone who wants to work on how they verbally discipline.









~Nay


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## rmzbm (Jul 8, 2005)

I'm in!


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## blsilva (Jul 31, 2006)

Me too!


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## Mialsse (Jul 8, 2005)

I'm in - a day late







but still in!

I've already been "not so good" today. Three TIRED kids, in a crowded store, all throwing an attitude at the same time ... I snapped at them, and we left. They're all napping now (tired, tired kids), so we'll start fresh when they wake up.

Having this goal, and accountability will be good


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

I'm a day late, but I'm in. It never helps when I yell (it's more of a gut reaction for me), and I do need to work on it.

I've been up for 2 hours and haven't yelled yet







.


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## Soundhunter (Dec 13, 2003)

We had a great day yesterday. Emma's been going to sleep REALLY late recently, as in midnight, but last night she went to sleep at 8:30....and slept until 9 am today. This means I had some down time to read last night, and lots of sleep bodes well for her behavior today.

The post partum hormones thing really messed me up with her, I think, though it really began in the last couple of months of pregnancy. I finally am starting to feel normal again.

Makes me wonder how often our lack of patience if it's super often might be about our own health.


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## zeldabee (Aug 23, 2004)

I'll give it a go...I'm also not yelling lately so much as I'm snapping. My sister had Sprogly overnight last night, and today while I'm at work (DCP is off, but I've got to work). So I've had my "me" time for the year







...I can start fresh.

Sprogly has been so "good" lately, too...just so much more responsive and receptive, I need to follow suit.


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## Mama Poot (Jun 12, 2006)

I'll try it. I need to. I yell way too much


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AntoninBeGonin* 
Oh yeah and if you 'snap' instead of yell you can also join the challenge. This is for anyone who wants to work on how they verbally discipline.









~Nay

I'm more of a snapper than a yeller (though I have done both), so I'm in - I could always stand to snap less...


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## bobica (May 31, 2004)

I'm in. a little late in the game but i haven't yelled since yesterday!







I'm also quite the snapper- we may have to have a no snapping/sniping challenge next!







:


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## AntoninBeGonin (Jun 24, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bobica* 
I'm in. a little late in the game but i haven't yelled since yesterday!







I'm also quite the snapper- we may have to have a no snapping/sniping challenge next!







:

Great idea









~Nay


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## aywilkes (Sep 2, 2006)

Count me in! Just what I need!! So will we check in each day or something?


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## JamesMama (Jun 1, 2005)

Count me in! I haven't been with James all day (shopping) but I'm still in for the rest of the week!

But I'm like Kelli, I have a short fuse...I'm working on it though. Seeing if DH's ins covers therapy...


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## AntoninBeGonin (Jun 24, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aywilkes* 
Count me in! Just what I need!! So will we check in each day or something?

Yep. Everything's in post 9









~Nay


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## CharlieBrown (Jan 20, 2004)

so far today has been good!


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## mommajb (Mar 4, 2005)

I'm in.

I really need this. Just reading the thread made me more careful. I suppose I am more of a snapper, and it is more directed at my older two. The little ones wear me out and I snap. Well, they are about to go to read/rest/bed and I counted 3 snaps today. The sad thing is nobody was doing anything 'wrong', just moving slowly when we needed to get going, being kids, living in the moment.

I like the idea of taking stock each day.


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## Think of Winter (Jun 10, 2004)

I'm in. I need all the help I can get. I'm a snapper, and I get louder and louder and louder waiting for a response from ds.


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## eldadeedlit (Jun 22, 2004)

Late, but in!


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## girlsmamma2 (Jul 12, 2005)

ooooo, I did soooo good today! No snapping or yelling at all! I tried a few techniques I researched last night (telling dd what she COULD do instead of could not, naming her feelings for her, teling her what older dd liked and made her happy, praising her) worked wonders. I knew all this before but really thought about the damage I was beginning to do by NOT using them or taking the time to use them. You could feel dd's energy change. I only hope I can keep it up tomorrow because the kiddos both went to bed an hour and a half late. that means grumpies for tomorow.

and whooops, i kind of redirected the anger at my dh a couple times!







. poor guy. Well, we were out in the wood picking a Christmas tree and I wanted a gigantic one and he chose that subject to bicker with me on....men. ...um...got my GIGANTIC Christmas tree though!









i'm going for day two in the morning...boy does it feel good!

How's everyone else doing?


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## witchbaby (Apr 17, 2003)

i will preface this by saying this was not our average friday. usually by friday i'm completely fried from being the only adult 90% of the time-- we had thanksgiving with my family yesterday, so i got some time off, plus the husband only worked half-day today, so that helped.
in any case, i did really well today. no yelling! i'd remind myself when they (usually k) did something i normally yell for and really try to talk to them/her respectfully. it was tough at times (k has a new fun habit of running shrieking through the house randomly), but i'm really proud of myself. i really hope i can keep it up!
love and support to all of you working on this!


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## afishwithabike (Jun 8, 2005)

This IS a wonderful Idea. That is my weakness too. I won't hit BUT I in anger will yell. I HATE that about myself.


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## l_olive (Jan 18, 2005)

I'm in. Today with all the grandparents, aunt, uncles and cousins running around, it was NOT a stellar day. Tomorrow will be better!

--Olive


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## ^guest^ (Jul 2, 2005)

I'm in, though I feel like I'm setting myself up for failure. Tomorrow we visit my aunt's house, then go to the mall to get my mom's glasses (living with my parents atm with 19mo DD







: ). She is so darn sensitive (as am I), the mall drives me UP A FREAKING WALL, but she will have a place to play there. My mom is also very insensitive about DD's DIRE need for sleep. If she does not nap fully or at her normal time, she becomes explosive. But I suppose if I can do it on a day full of triggers (for the both of us) than a normal day should be easy with some accountability thrown into the mix, right?


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

OK, so I'm 0 for 1 today.

I yelled (just a minor one "HEY!!") when dd closed the door when I went out to the freezer in the garage and then was holding it shut when I tried to come in.

But, I really lost it at bedtime. They were jumping on the bed, slide off the bed, upsetting the laundry bin. And I yelled. And my kids said "Don't yell. That's not nice." Hey, at least they've got the vocab and the guts to tell me not to do this!!


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## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

I'm in. Everyone is asleep and there's only 30 minutes left in the day, so I'll start tomorrow. I really need to work on this.


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## Jessy1019 (Aug 6, 2006)

I'm late, but I'm in. I failed yesterday during a ridiculous argument over white patent leather shoes, but today is a new day.

No more yelling.


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## JamesMama (Jun 1, 2005)

Okay, recap from yesterday. I was amazingly gentle and kind...until about 9:00pm...my mom got him this really awesome train set and he broke 2 of the tracks. I said (loudly, not screaming but upset) "James! Grandma got that for you and you just broke it! Thats bad."







: and he went into DH half sobbing saying "I broke." and then came to me and said sorry. Crap...


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## sdm1024 (Sep 4, 2006)

...but wow...I'm going to have to break nearly 30 years of habit and learning for this one.


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## Mialsse (Jul 8, 2005)

Yesterdays recap ...

Soooo, I snapped one more time yesterday







We came home, and it smelled like cat pee in the house (one of our cats is having issues, and it is really







: me!) So, again, it was my frustration directed at them that led to the snap. They started running around trying to find the culprit cat. When they found her, they chased her, she got scared and they laughed. In a raised voice I snapped something like "how would you like it if you were scared out of your mind, and the rest of us laughed about it"?

So, 2 snaps for yesterday







today will be much better (I just woke up :yawning: ... I was dead tired I guess.)


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## AntoninBeGonin (Jun 24, 2005)

Aw darn! I did so good, no yelling or snapping at all until 1030 this morning. Ds 26 months used to cosleep but moved into his own bed about 2.5 months ago. He comes in the morning to snuggle with his dad, sister, and me and to nurse. He always refuses to take turns with sissie so I end up lying on my side to feed her and he comes from behind me and wraps himself around my topside to get to the top boob. So I have 30 pounds of baby lounging on my ribcage. Finally he fell asleep on me and Dh moved him over to the twin bed pushed up next to ours. Long story short, I had to go to his bed when he woke, laid there for an hour after he went back to sleep, eased myself away and went back to my bed. Ds immediately crawled over and repositioned himself on my ribs







Once again he finally finished, laid back on my ribs, and then started tweaking my nipple.







: I hate that! I used to let him do it because I used to not be able to feel it at all but ever since I got pregnant with Dd I can't stand it. Anyhow I've spent nearly every day for a year trying to break this habit. I tell him no, use positive language, move his hands, cover myself with my hand, praise him for not doing it, etc. Usually he does stop but this morning he started fussing and fighting me until I finally just snapped "Get off me! Just get off me!" Then I went and took a shower. After I got out he was happy and wanted to play with me.









Sorry that was so long. I'm glad I haven't yelled and I've only snapped that one time. Gotta see how the rest of the week goes.









~Nay


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## afishwithabike (Jun 8, 2005)

SO far so good today. Not bad considering they haven't been on their NORMAL sleeping schedule in a few days. BUT, It's naptime for L so we'll see what happens.


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## girlsmamma2 (Jul 12, 2005)

Keep up the good work mammas!

I was cracking up at the "HEY" and closing the door thing! At least it helps us to laugh at ourselves when we see what everyone else is going through also.


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## zeldabee (Aug 23, 2004)

Yesterday I was only with Sprogly from 6pm until our very late bedtime. (Our sleeping schedules are so off!) He was with my sister overnight the night before. That was only the second time in his life that he's spent the night away from me, so it was a big deal.

Last night things got hairy for a while when Sprogly did his usual pre-bedtime beat up mommy routine. He really needs rough and tumble play, and between my arthritis and back issues, I end up getting hurt. He's a big bruiser of a three-year old, and he does this just when I'm at my most tired and least able to deal with it. It was ok, though, I had to be pretty firm, but I didn't yell.

He's also come down with a cold, so he's whiny and miserable today. All morning he wanted me to lie down in bed with him, and I've got to catch up on the laundry/cleaning, so I've been dividing myself between them. I think we're going to have tv day, he's at the worst phase of the cold, and doesn't want to do anything. Sometimes you just have to be sick.









Anyway, I think I almost snapped at him today, but I caught myself. He's snapped at _me_ a couple of times, mind you.


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

I'm in. I could use some accountability. I'll start out today.


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## paquerette (Oct 16, 2004)

DH and I are in on this. Starting tomorrow. This morning was not so good.







:


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## JamesMama (Jun 1, 2005)

So far so good today! Of course I wasn't with him most o the day.

But he threw a big temper tantrum in the library and I was able to redirect him calmly and make a game of it rather than picking him up and telling him to CHILL like I usually do







:

Tomorrow he's going to my dad's so DH and I can Christmas shop and then MONDAY will be our real test since James and I will be home alone together all day.


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## mommajb (Mar 4, 2005)

I don't think I yelled today, maybe one loud snap.









I really feel like I am doing better just because I am more aware with the challenge. I usually don't realize it until after I yell and it makes me feel awful but this is slowing the frequency.

I agree with the prev poster that these are not normal days as I am not alone with the 4 of them. It is good practice for Monday when I have to get them back into routine while dh is back at work.


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## lincap (Aug 12, 2005)

No yelling or snapping today.. but felt like it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This thread helps me.... it really does....


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## Collin'sMama (Jan 24, 2006)

I'm late for checking in, but it's been two days and I haven't raised my voice yet. This weekend's been easy b/c my family has been staying with us for the holiday so there's so much help around and I'm just not stressed. It's the days where it is just him and I at home ALL day that it gets difficult for me.

I'll read through all the posts later, gotta put my little man to bed!


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## slightlycrunchyann (Apr 15, 2004)

I'm joining this late, too. I need to work on this, yelling at my DS is clearly not the answer, he either yells back at me or looks bored when I'm yelling at him.


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## MommyHawk (Aug 4, 2006)

perfect thread! I am doing this - just need to keep in mind that the 3 yo is 3! he acts so mature most of the time that when he DOES act 3 I'm caught off guard and start behaving not so nice...and he points it out to me! "mommy, you need to control yourself"..."mommy, you made and accident, now you need to be nice"...I just got him a tshirt for the holidays that says "no, YOU calm down!"...perfect


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

Ok, apparently my mission on this thread is to set the bar so low that anyone can do better! 0 for 2.

Doing fine until about 7:45 tonight. Ds and dd were playing in the playroom, where we also have an air mattress set up from last week when dh was sick and didn't want to sleep with anyone. Dd was apparently under it and ds jumping on top. At first, dd thought that was funny, but then he must have jumped too hard and she started screaming - not the "this is hysterically funny scream" but "I'm really in pain scream".

I shouted (I was in a different room) for ds to stop (shouting doesn't count, because I was just trying to make myself heard








) and he kept jumping.

I rushed in as fast as I could and saw ds continuuing to jump and going closer to where he sister lay shrieking under the mattress. I YELLED at him to get off. "Can't you HEAR that your sister is CRYING? Get OFF that mattress right now!!" He, of course, was upset that I yelled. I was upset that he kept jumping AND that he seemed to be more upset that I yelled than that his little sister was hurt and scared.


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## Jessy1019 (Aug 6, 2006)

We had a good day yesterday, no yelling here. We spent the evening with some crunchy parent friends, which always makes me more mindful of our interactions. DD whined and cried when it was time to leave, but we were gentle on her . . . it was late and she was tired, and she had been a good sport about sharing and being kind to their baby.

So far so good today. We are going to the movies (to see Deck the Halls), and having a fun day so I don't expect any trouble. tomorrow will be the real test . . . being around my mom and I at the same time brings out the worst in her.


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## sdm1024 (Sep 4, 2006)

Today has gone well, but luckily DH let me sleep in and I've only been awake and around other people since 9am









Went out to breakfast, and of course the restaurant was crowded and the we were cramped and DS3 was having issues but we did well, no snapping, no yelling.

What has helped me alot today is that there was this older lady who was being just overall nasty and passive-agressive about having to wait for a table. There were parties of two that could get seated right away, but her group had to wait (as did we, since there are 5 of us!) and she was just being so rude. Her husband was clearly embarassed and I was a little embarassed for him. I thought to myself that I hope that I don't sound that way, but I'm sure at times I do.









So, I'm trying to keep that lady in my thoughts today, kinda like and example of how awful she sounded and came across to others and how much wasted energy she put into being negative.


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## mommajb (Mar 4, 2005)

Today was okay, though the shouting to be heard idea crossed my mind.









I am trying to gear up for tomorrow. Dh is back at work and we will be back to ourselves.

Tonight at bedtime I got a bit snappish and then just started over, rephrasing and adjusting my tone of voice. I figure, if I expect a 3 year old to do it I can too.


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## AntoninBeGonin (Jun 24, 2005)

I've been doing good overall. I wanted to bite Ds's head off a few minutes ago when he was "nursing" (if you can call it that







: ). Ah, the biggest joy of being two seems to be driving mommy nuts. Hehe.

Dh is gonna bake me brownies.









~Nay


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## girlsmamma2 (Jul 12, 2005)

weelll, a good day overall but I did raise my voice a bit more than I'd have liked a couple times. It's just that dd2 is testing testing testing lately. I think her back molars are coming in also since she is intent on licking everything...which drives me crazy this time of year!







:

And this evening while we were waiting for daddy to get a takeout from a restaurant, she kept putting her shoe on my 5 mo's car seat by his face. this drives me CRAZY! I think of it as inconsideration in an adult's mind but it's just a kid being a kid. But I did yell at her about it but not too badly.

It's funny because every time I raised my voice, I thought "uh oh...the challenge!" I'd say this is helping me put the time in there that I need between her action and my reaction. I've just felt calmer the last couple days. I think I finally saw what the whole yelling thing was doing so that has helped. Not to mention my 4 yo mirrors EVERYTHING i do and say so that really keeps me in line!


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## mommajb (Mar 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *girlsmamma2* 
It's just that dd2 is testing testing testing lately. I think her back molars are coming in also since she is intent on licking everything...which drives me crazy this time of year!







:


My littlest one does this everywhere we go! She licks the walls at the library and the main door at the gym.







It drives me insane. It has been going on for a couple of months now and I think I have reduced my reaction to a groan as there is just no stopping her. I hope she stops soon.

To bring it back to topic... If I am prepared for her behavior I am much less likely to yell.


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## mom2Nate&Wesley (Jun 13, 2006)

MamaJB, anyone with a small child who licks things or puts things in his/her mouth...It's appropriate for small children under 2 to want to do this. I am a speech therapist, and from what I know, it's best of offer your child some things that they can mouth. For kids who are really needy, try using a Spin Brush (sold at grocery store, drug stores, etc.) This is extra stimulating. Try to have something the child can mouth/lick/chew instead.

With kids who are already 2, or ready to turn 2, you can choose a time/place for mouthing a few objects YOU choose. The rest of the time, tell your child "no mouth" and stop the mouthing.

Of course, be sure to praise if your child stops when you ask, or decreases mouthing.


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## Treasuremapper (Jul 4, 2004)

Ugh, I was doing great but snapped at my five year old daughter for throwing her dinner on the floor, table, and walls. Hostile shaming tones of voice count as yelling, right? But I kept my cool when she hit me a few minutes earlier. Deep breaths. Fresh start today.


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## mom2Nate&Wesley (Jun 13, 2006)

This is a great topic! I used to be a BIG time yeller/screamer. Even though I always looked down on moms who yelled, I ended up yelling at my older kid. He was soooooooooo frustrating!

Then he developed Bipolar disorder; it started slowly at age 12, so we didn't even know anything special was wrong. He just wouldn't listen! He would argue, argue, argue. He would get fixated on one idea and not stop nagging about it. I didn't know this was part of his disorder. This is when I really started to snap and scream at the top of my lungs. Then I'd feel horrible.

I had to give up the yelling. First off, I was directing my kid(s) to be aware of their feelings and be responsible for taking a break, etc. But I wasn't doing it myself. I had to Walk my Talk. I had to learn to see when things were escalating for me, and take a break. I would go to my BR, shut the door, take a break. If you have small kids and can't leave the area/car/store, get those silicone/soft ear plugs for kids with ear tubes (sold in drug store...cheap) and have them in your pocket, ready to put into your ears. Shutting out the noise usually helps quite a bit. Then hum to yourself.

The other reason I had to stop was, Bipolar is a mental illness, and I was hugely stressed by it. My son is on the right meds now and he acts normal now, but he was pretty terrible to live with for almost a year. I HAD to find help from others. I had to find people to let my littlest one come over and play. I had to get my husband to do more at home. Anyone who offered help, I took it. I forced myself to let others help out so I could reduce my stress. If you are over-whelmed and fed up it's hard to not yell.

Be clear about what behavior is not acceptable and the consequences. With older kids, I like counting to 3 for them to stop. If you get to 3, write down a chore. If they keep doing the behavior, write another chore while you refuse to argue. Don't argue or discuss with your kids.

The only thing that has stopped my older child from arguing is, we have a code word when he MUST stop talking/discussing/arguing/whining, call it what you want. I say, "Stop...Pineapple!" and that means the END. If he says one more word, it's instant chore.

You are not doing yourself or your child a favor by letting them do things that you decide are not acceptable (whining, hitting, what have you). It makes you not want to be with your own kid.

Other thing: be sure you are targeting age-appropriate things. A toddler who is running around in the grocery store is YOUR problem. Little kids can only sit for a short time. You have to be prepared to spend two, two and a half hours at the grocery store if you have a toddler along. Not fair to blame the kid for acting his/her age.

That's it for my advice! I love not being a yelling mom. It's so worth it.


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## maternus.aeternum (Aug 19, 2006)

well i found this really late, but i can start my week today, okay? haha

my 5 year old puts me on edge so often it's not funny. this week i have felt like crying a LOT. he just tests me constantly, like he WANTS me to get angry at him.
he has learned the subtle art of sarcasm, and he uses it so well that i find myself either literally wanting to pull my hair out, or having to leave the room to laugh because he's so damn funny, but he can't see me thinking that his disrespect is humorous...right?

anyways, i will start today. yesterday was awful, i yelled a lot.
but next year he starts school and will be not here a lot, so i *must* make the most of this time...

thanks for the motivation to be a better/calmer mama!


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## witchbaby (Apr 17, 2003)

saturday went pretty well, but yesterday was a bust. k was off the freakin' wall cranky and hyper yesterday and everyone was a little grumpy and stir-crazy. oy. hopefully things go better today.


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## Treasuremapper (Jul 4, 2004)

This is an interesting challenge. I did not realize how much I yell. In fact, I had kidded myself that I almost never yell. But just a few minutes ago my three year old daughter ran into my sopping wet kitchen floor, which is made of hard tile (let's just say it needed a real soaking and mopping after TG and five days of no mops touching it). I yelled "NO STOP, COULD HURT YOU!!!" So what's the point of that? Why did it help to yell and bellow? Yeesh, help me!!! I don't ever want to yell, and I have snapped angrily once and truly yelled once.


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## ^guest^ (Jul 2, 2005)

Okay...1 yelling episode on Saturday ("NORA EMILY WE DO NOT HIT ANIMALS!" ...when she gets upset she'll cry and hit one of the dogs. Our female dog is extremely timid with a shy bladder and will pee if she gets hit







: ), which is impressive considering she was SO wound up once we got home and absolutely nothing was diffusing it. Warm bath, reading, massage, sand box..nothing worked! So while it might not be "no yelling", it's a ton better than I'd usually do on such a draining day, for both of us.

Sunday, no yelling at all. We had a nice quiet day at home, even though DD was still wound tight from the day before, and I was at my breaking point. I haven't had an hour to myself to recharge my battery (extreme introvert here...if I don't have some time to myself I flip out) in two months. I cried, and finally said F it, turned on DD's favorite movie and took a cat nap while she crawled all over me and watched her movie. Woke up feeling a lot better and less snappy, with no need to yell. I've had to use my "stern voice", which is a little louder than my usual voice due to DD's distractability, but no yelling.


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## JamesMama (Jun 1, 2005)

Already snapped this morning...we had to be out the door at about 10 till 9 to pick up a friend of mine for work so I can watch her DS and James was being pokey (now I realize it was 100% my fault, I should have gotten everything together rather than putzing around on the computer) and I snapped at him. I suck...The rest of the day will be better!


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## hellyaellen (Nov 8, 2005)

I had a bad moment over the weekend. Iwas so tired , had a house full of company all day, wanted nothing more than to take a shower alone, and ... of course dd (almost 7) wantewd to shower with me. and i yelled about it. I think the moral of the story is to recharge before it gets critical.

i have to say i am glad school is back in session.

i'm glad you gave us this challenge though. it has me to be more mindful of how i am interacting with my kids.


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## ^guest^ (Jul 2, 2005)

Yelled. Was in the bathroom and heard a "thunk!" then a howl. Ran into my bedroom (oh the fun of running through the house while trying to get your skirt back up and fearful that your child has just mortally injured herself in the 2.5 minutes you took to go to the potty







) I see DD on the ground with her foot stuck in a dresser drawer. She had tried to make stairs out of it to climb to the top of the dresser and fallen. No serious injury, but I was so scared out of my mind that she had possibly broken her leg that I yelled that she should never ever do that. Obviously the ENTIRELY wrong thing to do since she was scared and hurting too







I hate losing my logic like that. Will try harder when she wakes up from her nap.


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## afishwithabike (Jun 8, 2005)

Had some trouble this morning. Sometimes it's hard to be understanding when BOTH parent AND child are tired and cranky. I have been doing better though. I am SURE we will get there. Thank you again for starting this thread.


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## MommyHawk (Aug 4, 2006)

:







:







:







:
this popped up and it's a good reminder...that this is my goal!!! I have been tested TO THE LIMITS!!!!!!!!! today!!!!!!! I just want to scream at the top of my lungs...my 3yo has to talk his way out of everything - naps, time out, eating lunch, hitting the dog...he has an explination for everything...maybe I've 'explained' too much? my GD is back firing?!?!?!?







:







:







:

I will do better...I will do better...this is my mantra for the day...the hour...I will do better...


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## sdm1024 (Sep 4, 2006)

I'm tired. I work PT in the evening and yesterday I returned home at midnight and didn't get to sleep until 1 am. Then the baby kept waking up.

So, needless to say today my abilty to handle stress is just gone. DS3 just kept whineing and throwing fits and I just couldn't handle it anymore and yelled at him.

The worst part is trying to be gentle with myself. Now I feel like crapola for losing my patience. He's tired too and got stuck doing boring stuff (we had the house we are buying inspected today and he came along) and when we got home he just had to let that pent up enegy out. BUTI still feel like crap.


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## zeldabee (Aug 23, 2004)

I yelled Saturday, but I'm not sure it counts...I was bending over and Sprogly jumped from the couch onto my back, and a knee or foot or elbow hit my kidney, and I was startled and hurt and yelled. That one I'm not sure counted...but then later he was using me like a trampoline and I yelled. I need a better way to handle it when he gets too rough, because we have a pattern with it now...we're tired, winding down, and he gets very hyper, wants to climb all over me and play rough, and he won't stop--if I'm sitting down, he's jumping on me. He just seems to do this when getting tired, and this weekend he was getting sick to boot.

The rest of the weekend I didn't yell, but then, Sprogly was sick, mostly whiny but not very active, poor baby. I had to sit up with him for hours late Saturday night.


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## AntoninBeGonin (Jun 24, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zeldabee* 
I yelled Saturday, but I'm not sure it counts...I was bending over and Sprogly jumped from the couch onto my back, and a knee or foot or elbow hit my kidney, and I was startled and hurt and yelled. That one I'm not sure counted...
.

Nah, it doesn't count









We're doing good today, too. I also yelled out after getting hurt by my toddler. Those little guys can be almost vicious









~Nay


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## AntoninBeGonin (Jun 24, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *afishwithabike* 
Had some trouble this morning. Sometimes it's hard to be understanding when BOTH parent AND child are tired and cranky. I have been doing better though. I am SURE we will get there. Thank you again for starting this thread.

I'm glad you're here with us.









~Nay


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## lincap (Aug 12, 2005)

I snapped.. I snapped at DS twice. Once last night, he was up from 1am-4:50am... and I was tired. Too tired to try nursing, rocking, walking AGAIN. He would fall asleep for like 3 min, then be WIDE awake... ugh. So I snapped. I said "GO TO SLEEP, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU" and he rolled over and fell asleep. So then I was awake feeling guilty.
He wakes up at 6:15 and wakes me up... so I got maybe 4 hours sleep total.

Incident #2. He was all cranky at 330PM so I figured I would put him in the Ergo and try to dance him to sleep for 30 min.. So he falls asleep, hears something, wakes up... I snapped "GO TO SLEEP"

So needless to say we have sleep issues and they put me over the edge. I just get all snippy and upset when he doesn't sleep.. Speaking of sleep, he has been asleep for an hour.. I should go to bed too..

I like this thread because it makes me "see" what I did. Helps me cleanse the bad. I will so be better tomorrow.. but tomorrow we have a long 3 hour car ride.. I am sure I will snap... but I will try try try not too.. I need a good mantra.... hmmm....


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## maternus.aeternum (Aug 19, 2006)

dear lord...
i snapped twice today, on my day one.
hah.

i'm awful! i'm going to mummy hell, i just know it.

the first time it was "MOVE!" after asking sweetly to please move aside probably 6 times.

the second time was just now, putting him to bed, and he wouldn't let me leave. i hugged and kissed, i had already snuggled for maybe 10 or 15 minutes, i had played a game and talked about the day and about our plans for tomorrow, he had plenty of time to get ready for me to leave and him to go to sleep.
he was hanging on my leg as i was getting off his bed and i asked him to let go, let go, let go, he wouldn't do it, so i just started to move, and i tripped and snapped "just do as you're told!" and left.

he won't listen to me! nothing i try works.


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## vivalamama (Jan 22, 2005)

just saw this thread, so I'm super late... but joining in! I definitely could use a place to be 'accountable' and get some support.

yesterday was really good most of the day (calm, reasonable, even playful), but started yelling when DD1 (6yo) was being a kid and slow to clean up a ginormous mess she created in the kitchen when I was trying to get dinner ready... i'm sad to say that yelling just once in a day is a good day for me.

today, so far so good. but dinner is coming up and DD2 (almost 2) hasn't napped today so I'm crossing my fingers- knowing I am going to report back here is going to help- I can tell!

I'm curious if you all have been working on figuring out your 'triggers'
2 of mine-
1. DDs screaming at each other (over toys or whatever)
2. me slacking off and not being mindful of what I need to be doing then holy c#$! I need to get this done right now and you kids are not helping (getting dinner, cleaning up, need to go pick up dh, etc).

I seem to go from 0 to 60, but working on being mindful of these to help me stop before I start, yk?

thanks mamas!


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## vivalamama (Jan 22, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyHawk* 
...my 3yo has to talk his way out of everything - naps, time out, eating lunch, hitting the dog...he has an explination for everything...maybe I've 'explained' too much? my GD is back firing?!?!?!?








:







:







:

I will do better...I will do better...this is my mantra for the day...the hour...I will do better...

about the 'explaining'- people I've talked to who are 'in the know', child psychologists and the like, have suggested that the reason for your request should precede the request and be succinct. For example, "it hurts doggy when you hit. do not hit." then redirect to a more appropriate activity.

Basically, you want your kid to hear the 'do not hit' message last so it sticks. also, hitting is not negotiable and by offering your reason before your request, you don't open it up to arguing and negotiation.

hth,
claire,
whose knowledge greatly outweighs her ability to put said knowledge into action

p.s. my mantra is "I am a kind and patient person, I act in kind and patient ways"


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## karma_momma (Sep 15, 2005)

I'm also super late, but super in need of this thread. I am that mom I said I would never be. I yell, snap, and get angry at age appropriate behaviors. I have been told that my son is a little high strung, which I like to beleive so I think I'm not crazy. He is the most adorable and fun little boy and I am completely ashamed of how I have been treating him. Thanks for the wakeup call and I can't wait to get started tomorrow!


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## HerthElde (Sep 18, 2003)

Also joining this thread. Today was definitely a yelling day







Dd is almost 3, she literally screams in my face when I yell







I really didn't think it would be so hard with 2.
I have to stop. Dh has to stop. We all need to reconnect as a family.
Tonight was nice, though. We had our first fire (we've only been in this house since June) and our first family game night. We taught dd1 how to play snakes and ladders - we took 2 intermissions







, but by the end, she was doing really well. Hopefully that reconnect will keep me sane tomorrow.


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

Not doing well so far.

I picked up a book at the library today called Scream Free Parenting. Maybe that will have good ideas.


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## sweetpea333 (Jul 2, 2005)

im in!! i had a terrible yelling episode today, dd hit me so hard i cried like a baby! and I yelled she would not let me put her 13 month old sister to bed, when i would try and rock my youngest dd 28 months would try and accidentally kick her or touch her for like 20 minutes







: anyways i yelled alot, so i think i want to start fresh tomorrow!


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## ^guest^ (Jul 2, 2005)

Uhg...yet another yelling episode.







The cable repairmen were here, and *someone* (not me) left the door between the kitchen and the garage open. My father is a general contractor so besides having our canned goods out there, there is also a TON of dangerous tools. DD wandered into the garage, and after trying several different tactics to draw her out did not work, I went to gently and respectfully remove her, saying "Okay, time to go, it's cold in here! Brrrr!" she went into a vicious rage and tried to bite my wrist quite savagely. I freaked because my loving attitude was met with so much forceful violence, and lost it. I yelled "Don't you ever!" and picked her up and carried her back inside, her screaming and sobbing, me crying because I'm just too close to the boiling point these days and I desperately need a break, just a couple of hours out of the house without her, but one is not forthcoming for a long time







:


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## AntoninBeGonin (Jun 24, 2005)

Oh man, was today ever rough. Agggh. Ds was in a very bad mood toward the end of the night. Diaper change before bedtime took 20 minutes. It should have taken 30 seconds and a single cloth wipe. He was lying on the floor, kicking wildly, bouncing his hips in the air, and screaming so shrillly it made my ears hurt. I was looking at him thinking, "you're so damned lucky I made the commitment to never hit you" because I know so many people who would have grabbed his legs and spanked the poor kid.







While he was tantruming I called Dh to vent and get some conversation going about what's going on. But that's information needed in another thread.









Ya know, I think I'm doing good about not yelling. My problem is more that I think I get too stern sometimes. I had good practice getting stern growing up since I was the oldest kid of four. I have a tendency to make a request (I mean, demand) and if he doesn't do it I either ignore it from then on or do it myself. I'm sure it's confusing to him. **sigh**

Dh is home! Time to finish the last half of our movie and share a brownie.









~Nay


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## witchbaby (Apr 17, 2003)

i vote we all call tomorrow our monday redo! anyone with me??
another tough day here. k was doing well for most of the morning, then turned insolent and cranky just before lunch. refused to nap, did all manner of naughty things, talked back and just generally acted bratty all afternoon. i was tired and edgy and m was clingy and we were just one big ball of fun! things settled down after the littles took a bath and both fell asleep easily.
we have a lot to do tomorrow but k is looking forward to it. i'm going to be around some awesome mamas in the morning, i hope i can use their influence to help me over my rough spots!


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## vivalamama (Jan 22, 2005)

so yesterday was not too bad for us. no major yelling. a couple of definite 'too sterns' and a few 'too impatients'. one little yell "no!" at dd2 who was about to rip up a library book, but I could feel your presence, mamas! and you helped me stop it at that instead of totally freaking out about it.
it was a challenging day (no naps, one car broken down, 2 hour! bedtime process, and our dogs ran away!!), so lots of deep breaths and walking away for me. i am glad i found this thread to help 'keep me honest'- thank you again for starting this thread.
hoping today is better for us all.









i am a kind and patient person... i act in kind and patient ways...


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## Elijah's Mom (Dec 17, 2003)

i'm late, but game. I don't really yell, but I need to work on my verbal impatience and "sharp" tone. I've not been getting nearly enough sleep (7 month old baby waking constantly to nurse; DS (3 years, 4 months) kicking tons in our small, queen size family bed; and DH traveling TONS for job interviews. I'm exhausted and my patience is shot -- precisely when the kids need me to be far more level headed and steady.

Becca


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## daniedb (Aug 8, 2004)

I'd love to join. We've had some challenges here the last few weeks, new baby, mama's PP hormones, plus, Benton just spent a few days in the hospital for RSV, so I'm exhausted and was scared and all kinds of emotion. I don't have any kind of problem with yelling, my problem has been snapping. I HATE it. And I've been doing it to Henry lately in the last few weeks.

He loves to climb on me, and also to worm his way into the tightest little spots between me and whatever is on the other side of me. Like the couch arm, the bed headboard, whatever. I just feel these little hands and feet working their way into my space, and then by the time I *realize* that I've been feeling it, I'm already irritated because he's using me as leverage, so I'm feeling climbed on and annoyed, and I snap. It's mostly his level of physical activity, the worming, climbing and jumping that pushes my buttons, so I'm trying to be more in tune with my feelings to head it off at the pass before I get snappish.

Thanks for this thread!


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## JamesMama (Jun 1, 2005)

snapped again yesterday when he woke up from his nap screaming holy murder, fell back to sleep and again woke up really really grumpy, nursing, tugging, etc and I said "DUDE! What is your deal?"

Today will be better!!

Triggers---I put stuff off and when I realize HOLY CRAP! I gotta do this NOW! And James is being less than coperative. He needs time to putz around while he's getting ready otherwise it becomes a battle and I get frustrated.

Trigger #2- I need to orginize better so that when we're going to leave I'm not rushing around looking for socks and shoes and shirts and diapers etc. I'm going to work on laying out his clothes the night before, rounding everything up and putting it by the door so we just gotta get up and go. Make life a million times easier.

Trigger #3, I'm going to start doing housework while he's quietly playing and not when he's wanting to nurse. Need to reverse my computer time.


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## girlsmamma2 (Jul 12, 2005)

ok, just don't even want to talk about yesterday. my dh came home to hear me yelling in the basement while i was trying to work out (to release stress







: ) and they had been at each other all day. it was one of those days that i could see it right from the beginning. seems mondays are always kinda stressful because I actually try to get something DONE. but oh well.

today was better. i'm just finding it hard not to lose it when dd, 2, bites her older sister. i just don't get how to handle this. but i only raised my voice a little today but yesterday i said some things I haven't ever said in front of them because they were just over the top tired.....and grumpy. hence the 2 hour nap they both took today (my kids don't nap).

anyways. off to swiffer while they are outside with daddy. thank goodness for warm weather.

tomorrow is another day.


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## mommajb (Mar 4, 2005)

Much better day today. No yelling at anybody. I even thought about what a easy day it was during the day. What came first, their pleasant behavior or mine?









I do know that Tuesdays can be one our better days and am working to remove the triggers on other days. We (I) also need to better handle the stress we cannot remove. It all really comes down to better time management.


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## JamesMama (Jun 1, 2005)

Yelled again because he insisted on messing with the Christmas tree. He normally leaves it alone.

Doesn't help matters that I'm seriouslly PMS'ing...


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## AntoninBeGonin (Jun 24, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JamesMama* 
Trigger #3, I'm going to start doing housework while he's quietly playing and not when he's wanting to nurse. Need to reverse my computer time.









You and me both!









Today went well. Tonight was so-so. I know I've mentioned on other threads how nursing him can be a huge pita. Well, he was being a pain tonight and I swear I was ready to just scream--not just yell--but full-fledged crazy lady insane asylum screaming because I have said the same freakin' thing between 3-10 times a day every day for an entire year.







Experienced moms, please tell me, should it literally take him hearing something over 1,000 times to get it through his head? (Can ya tell I'm aggrevated?) Anyways I didn't yell. Instead I turned sarcastic and said stuff like "Wow, I'd've thought that after two years you would know how to drink boobies the right way" and "For gods' sakes kid are you ever gonna *FIGURE THIS OUT*!" (I didn't yell the bolded part, I just strongly emphasized it







)

~Nay


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## Treasuremapper (Jul 4, 2004)

I can't believe I yelled again, this time at my three year old daughter for throwing organic cheese I had just shredded all over the floor because there was not enough cheese in the bowl, in her opinion.
I now see some of my triggers -- when one of my children throws expensive organic food on the floor for reasons like the way the food is arranged on the plate -- it makes me want to scream and lose my cool.

My five year old intentionally dumped a jumbo sized box of baking soda (used for cleaning) on the floor, too, and that didn't annoy me as much. But I did say to her that I felt I would lose my temper if she kept dumping it out, but I said it calmly.

I guess I have to figure out some GD ways to make food stop being thrown, while working on my response to it at the same time.


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## ^guest^ (Jul 2, 2005)

Well..yesterday could be seen as an improvement of sorts. Yelled once right when we woke up (well..uh technically I think I screamed it with great vigor














because Nora was doing something with the fridge, refused to let me close it, then got her arm stuck in the side of it, just basically being screamy and whiny. Let it be known that I AM NOT all that rational upon waking. That is my biggest challenge, to be logical and gentle in the middle of the night and right when I get up :/ But that was the only incident.

This is extra hard because we're also going TV Free...or as TV Free as we can get. We live with my parents right now and I can't really tell them not to watch tv at night when they get home. I did manage to keep it off until after dinner though, and my parents watch stuff DD has no interest in anyways.


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## momma of monkeys (Aug 10, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *inezyv* 

My five year old intentionally dumped a jumbo sized box of baking soda (used for cleaning) on the floor, too, and that didn't annoy me as much. *But I did say to her that I felt I would lose my temper if she kept dumping it out, but I said it calmly.*
I guess I have to figure out some GD ways to make food stop being thrown, while working on my response to it at the same time.

*Hey everybody! Oh my, inezyv, I do that too!! I seem to say 'I can feel myself getting upset/angry/etc because of behavior X'...quite often..So after our 'big nasty incident' last Friday, we are doing pretty well. No yelling/hitting...but I am snappy. DS continues to have an awfully snarky mouth/tude though







: which means I have to be like Job a heck of a lot.(Ol' Job had it rough!!!







) Thanks for this thread...I just found it today....







*


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## Emmama (Jan 21, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *momma of monkeys* 
Thanks for this thread...I just found it today....









I just found this as well, and it is just what I need. Would anyone be willing to go for another week?


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## AntoninBeGonin (Jun 24, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Emmama* 
I just found this as well, and it is just what I need. Would anyone be willing to go for another week?

Sure.


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## girlsmamma2 (Jul 12, 2005)

actually, i'm kinda doing this long term....i had just planned on keeping going every day trying to get better. I will say having the thread to come to has helped me really try, see results and then get better. I still have had a couple bad moments, but nothing like the previous weeks I felt I was losing it.

Also it helps me to see other kids that are a lot more aggressive than my middle dd. Today a friend of hers pushed her, she is sick and on meds so she was being fiesty, but she pushed her with such meanness and anger that I really felt for my dd. I mean what my dd does upsets me, but she is just frustrated, not mean spirited. And her little friend seemed to have a lot more "behind" the push if that makes any sense. I mean some resentment. It just made me put my dd's behavior in perspective and to help me relax on her and use positive reinforcement to change her misbehavior and appreciate the communication we DO have. This girl makes my girls look meek. Even my stronger willed one. So i'm going to try to bring that up when my dd gets unruly.


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

Well, I actually had 2 "yell free" days. One probably doesn't count because I was in bed the entire day sick. It's awfully hard to yell when you're asleep!









Yesterday I had some times when I was too short with the kids, and one time when dd was climbing on me when I said through gritted teeth "I do not want you on my body right now" but I didn't yell. And I did tell the kids calmly that if they didn't stay in bed, I was leaving the room because it wasn't very much fun for me to have to sit there forever when they weren't even trying to fall asleep.

My triggers (don't know who started this, but it's a great idea)
-When dd wants something when I'm trying to get something done on the computer. Solution: I simply need to put the computer away until she's in bed, which brings me to my second trigger:

-When dd is dancing around at all hours of the night NOT going to sleep. I don't mind if she sits in her bed and reads, or sings, or talks. But this constant getting up and down, bothering her brother, going out to get things... GRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAA! OK, I didn't scream at her, but I did here.









-When ds doesn't respond when we ask him to do something. Sometimes it's as simple as "move please so I can get by" and other times it's "it's pajama time" and he's been WARNED 5 times already.

Don't know how to lessen those two.


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## Jessy1019 (Aug 6, 2006)

I would be happy to keep this thread going forever. I feel like I've been 100% better since we started . . . I haven't yelled or been snarky with my four year old since last Saturday, and I am really proud of myself since things were not going so well before that and I was getting frustrated way too easily.

I feel like a better mom, and she's responding better as well (gee, there's a surprise).

Let's keep going.


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## JamesMama (Jun 1, 2005)

I'm doing okay...darn PMS is really screwing with me...now that AF is full fledged here I should be balancing out a bit. My moods ALWAYS go hay-wire during PMS..lovely.

I didn't even yell when he tripped out the circut breaker box by turning the bathroom light off and on 10000 times...lol


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## JamesMama (Jun 1, 2005)

Ooooh, just thought of something....I should find one of my wide rubber bands and write NO YELLING on it and then when I feel like yelling I'll snap myself. LOL...I think they are in the van....


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## momma of monkeys (Aug 10, 2006)

Well this morning ds caught me off guard...and without coffee...I went out to the laundry room and ds locked me out of the house so only he and dd were inside







...um yeah...not the first time he has done this. Add to that we are having cold (for Phoenix) weather right now and all I had on was a shortie robe and slippers....







right I yelled...and apoligized immediately...and had yet another talk with ds about how dangerous it is to lock adults out of the house....so I guess I am starting over....again...


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## Treasuremapper (Jul 4, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JamesMama* 
Ooooh, just thought of something....I should find one of my wide rubber bands and write NO YELLING on it and then when I feel like yelling I'll snap myself. LOL...I think they are in the van....

I really like this idea.


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## Soundhunter (Dec 13, 2003)

We just had a hardcore power outage for 5 DAYS!

I was hand washing cloth diapers in ice cold water

heating and cooking on our wood burning stove

no lights at night other than spare candles

And I only yelled once, but at my husband, for being a complainer and bringing me down when I was working my ass off to keep everyone else's spirits up!

But I was very patient with Emma under such trying circumstances.

So nice to be back online, I must say!


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## Mama Poot (Jun 12, 2006)

Last Sunday was a blowup, horrible day that I'm just going to dismiss because I was PMS-ing like a crazy person. Since then, things have been very quiet around here. I haven't yelled at Paddy, and of course he has been calmer and much more behaved. Funny how that works! I am very proud of him especially for not messing around with the Xmas tree!


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## mommaof3boz (Feb 15, 2006)

I am a late joiner but need to be here. Nice to meet everyone!!

I am a newly home mom. After 16 years of working fulltime outside the home as a nurse and now working fulltime inside the home and only 2 evenings a week. And it is wonderful and stressful and a blessing and a [email protected]#$% all rolled into one.







I have never spent so much time in my house with my kids. It is where I want to be. But dang its so hard at times. Today I finally went to town for 20 minutes totally alone (dh with boys) even though youngest wanted to go badly I stood up for me and said no. Today I have noticed the yelling is down. I have a temper and I know it and I'm not proud of it. I am going to try so hard with each of your help. Thank goodness I'm not a spanker or hitter. Just a yeller which is equally bad and needs to be controlled.


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## ^guest^ (Jul 2, 2005)

WOOT!

No yelling, two days in a row! Just calm nice normal days. No TV is *really* helping both of our attitudes I think. I'm also taking calms forte because my nerves have been totally shot recently and I think that's one of the reasons for the constant breakdowns I've been having. It's a start


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## TanyaS (Jun 24, 2003)

I'm a late starter. Apparently I got this really awesome idea that had already been done







Here's what I posted on my brilliant thread idea:

So far, today has been great. We have been dealing with huge disrespectful issues with ds and nothing was working, and yelling just made it worse. Ds and I struck a deal. He will work on being respectful, and I will work on not yelling. We are allowed to calmly remind each other that we are breaking our deal. Today, I reminded him (and myself) about our deal and asked him "Deal? Or no deal?"







He happily replied "Deal!" One time today I started to raise my voice, immediately caught myself, and said "Ds, oops! I'm not supposed to yell! I forgot our deal."

There's already a lot of posts on here in a week. We may need to have a new thread each week or month, otherwise it may get too long to keep up. Any thoughts on this from those of you who've been "no yelling" since Thanksgiving?


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## AntoninBeGonin (Jun 24, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TanyaS* 
I'm a late starter. Apparently I got this really awesome idea that had already been done







Here's what I posted on my brilliant thread idea:

So far, today has been great. We have been dealing with huge disrespectful issues with ds and nothing was working, and yelling just made it worse. Ds and I struck a deal. He will work on being respectful, and I will work on not yelling. We are allowed to calmly remind each other that we are breaking our deal. Today, I reminded him (and myself) about our deal and asked him "Deal? Or no deal?"







He happily replied "Deal!" One time today I started to raise my voice, immediately caught myself, and said "Ds, oops! I'm not supposed to yell! I forgot our deal."

There's already a lot of posts on here in a week. We may need to have a new thread each week or month, otherwise it may get too long to keep up. Any thoughts on this from those of you who've been "no yelling" since Thanksgiving?

Tanya, that was a great idea! I wonder if it's too complex to try with my two year old. I'll stop using the "pissed mommy voice" if he'll stop kicking at me during diaper changes.









~Nay


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## AngelBee (Sep 8, 2004)

:


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