# How do I get baby to sleep without my breast in his mouth?



## Voltige (Mar 11, 2006)

My new babe will be 4 weeks old on Sunday. Breast feeding is going VERY well and we've really had no issues. During the last week or so, however, he only wants to sleep when my nipple is in his mouth. Please understand that I LOVE BF-ing my baby, but that loose, sloppy, sleepy suck is like nails on a chalkboard for me. The longer it goes on, the more stressed and resentful I feel. If I try to slip him off slowly and carefully he will be still for a moment and then start screaming. If I break the latch while he's still flutter sucking, same thing. Then he roots around hysterically until he latches on again, but doesn't FEED, he just wants the nipple.

If I didn't mind, I wouldn't be asking for help. I can't understate how this makes me feel. I don't know why it bothers me so much, but I really feel a lot of anger the longer he is latched on and not feeding.

Once he's ASLEEP, he sleeps well. I just have to sit or lie around for an hour until I can get him off my breast, and even then it's hit or miss. If I manage, he will stay asleep. Is there a way to get him to fall asleep without the breast in his mouth? Especially since he's not hungry and no longer feeding?

This is all new to me, as my first baby never fell asleep at my breast. He ate, then popped off and fussed and finally slept. I feel that I can deal with that so much better than the incessant flutter sucking. I know they are all different and I'm trying to accept that, but I'm having a very difficult time with this.


----------



## eirual (Mar 21, 2006)

DS is 3.5 years old and I have yet to figure this out!

I remember in the early days being frustrated by it, now (and for some time) it's somewhat of a blessing because no matter where we are (e.g. cottage with 6 other cousins in a tent) he takes all of 5 minutes to drift off to sleep happily, and by then he's in a deeeep sleep, I can quickly break the latch and get on with my night. I can count on one hand the amount of times he's had to go to sleep uncontent, and compared to how some of his cousins go down routinely, I'll take blissfully drifting off over CIO any day!

In the begining though here are some ideas, take them or leave them as need be:

-nurse to sleep in the sling, so that he can suckle without you feeling trapped or bothered by it, then lay him down when he's in a deep sleep.

-really pay close attention to his sucking and breathing patterns. I find it easier to slip a wet finger close to his lips, wait until his breathing gets deep and he's just finished a few sucks and taking a break, then I put just a little pressure on the nipple to pull it out more than put my finger in. Sometimes this works, and sometimes I need to wait a while longer.

-If it's making you crawly, is it still a good latch? If just the nipple is being stimulated that would drive me crazy too, try to re-root and get a solid latch, even if he is sleepy

-What kind of bed are they in? Would you consider an amby bed or hammock where they still feel the movement they crave and tend to sleep sounder?

-Giving a finger to suck? Maybe even their own?

-Making other comforting sounds or motions or touches that they need just to know that you're there?

-Mind over matter. Try to make the best of it- grab a good book, take joy in the fact that you're provide comfort and security and think of it all in a positive light.

-Switching sides to shake the creepy crawly feeling

....that's all I've got.


----------



## lifeguard (May 12, 2008)

Sometimes it works if I put my finger against ds' chin firmly right after unlatching him for a minute.


----------



## D'sMama (May 4, 2008)

Mine is 6 months old and does this and I just posted in the Family Bed forum about it.







:









*lifeguard*: when you say you press the chin firmly, do you mean under the chin, as though holding the mouth closed or do you mean against the front of the chin, below the lips?


----------



## lifeguard (May 12, 2008)

On the front of the chin almost pushing his chin down. I know it seems counterintuitive but I read it somewhere & it seems to work. He'll try once or twice more to latch & then just give up & settle into his sleep.


----------



## Voltige (Mar 11, 2006)

Thanks for the ideas! A few comments-

I have very large breasts, which complicates things a bit I think. When I'm nursing him, either sitting or lying down I need to support my breast with my opposite hand or he can't keep the latch. My first babe needed the same, and it took about 6 months before I could be very casual about BFing. So I can't sleep in bed, even though I can be lying down. If my hand slips, his latch slips, and then I get sore nips







It also makes BFing in the sling near impossible. I've not been able to do this yet, unfortunately.

He does nap in the Amby bed but in bed with me at night. I've not tried the Amby at night- I want him next to me







(but without my nip in his mouth)

After this post yesterday, he had a really good day







He even fell asleep on DH last night and I just transferred him into bed with me. I might have to try that again tonight. I nursed him until he was full and falling asleep then handed him over to DH. He fussed and squirmed, but eventually fell asleep. We waited a while, then tucked him in bed with me. Worked like a charm







I hope we can repeat, but I'm not counting on it.


----------



## Carhootel (Jul 16, 2008)

I think that's the pantley pull out - the holding their chin thing.

I also have very large breasts and my son sleeps with my nipple in his mouth pretty much all night - I'd love to know how to stop but I'm just hoping he outgrows it at some point.


----------



## phrogger (Oct 16, 2006)

Only thing that works for us is the pacifier. I keep him snuggled next to me, but swap the nip for hte pacifier. He just wants to suck forever but doesn't want to eat. I need a break too.


----------



## LadyCatherine185 (Aug 12, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *phrogger* 
Only thing that works for us is the pacifier. I keep him snuggled next to me, but swap the nip for hte pacifier. He just wants to suck forever but doesn't want to eat. I need a break too.









:

we have never used a paci, but I think in your case, once he is asleep I would slip a paci in his mouth.


----------



## lifeguard (May 12, 2008)

For the large breast problem (I totally get it) I have had some success with side-lying to prop it up with a receiving blanket. You have fuss around a bit to get the right amount of blanket in the right spots but it can work.

I also had better success nursing on my back instead of my side at first. I would lay on my back. Put pillows under my arm on the side I was going to nurse on (let's say left). Then I would lay ds across my body so his head was sort of on my left boob/arm & his legs were on my right hip & he was on his side/front. Once he was latched on I could lie very comfortably like this & he would nurse. It was helpful too because at times I tended to have pretty active letdown & he didn't seem to "drown" quite as much in this position.


----------



## CookAMH (Jun 2, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Voltige* 
I have very large breasts, which complicates things a bit I think. When I'm nursing him, either sitting or lying down I need to support my breast with my opposite hand or he can't keep the latch. My first babe needed the same, and it took about 6 months before I could be very casual about BFing. So I can't sleep in bed, even though I can be lying down. If my hand slips, his latch slips, and then I get sore nips







It also makes BFing in the sling near impossible. I've not been able to do this yet, unfortunately.

That is me exactly.

I unlatch with my finger and slip a paci in and it works for us. I usually only do it when his latch slips enough that my nipple hurts, or he's been nibbling for 45 min after a full feeding and I'm ready to put him in bed and do something else.


----------

