# Teaching bedsharing baby to sleep



## jubarbati (Jan 11, 2016)

Hi mommas,

I am in desperate need to hear some input on how to teach my 8 month bedsharing baby to fall asleep on her own without rocking. At least to nap on her own. She takes 3 naps a day:
-the first one hour after she wakes up in the am and it lasts 40 min
-the 2nd one is 2 hours after she wakes up from her 1st nap and it lasts about 1.30 hrs
-the third is also 2 hours after the previous and it lasts 40 min 

at night she sleeps about 12 hours and I dream feed her 2 sometimes 3 times. 

I want to do it gently... no cio. Any wisdom is very much appreciated.

Juliana


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## Guy_Francis (Jul 25, 2016)

Just do it with rituals and be consequent. For example turn on some relaxing baby music and stay in the room until she sleeps. If she wakes up, don't let her alone and get to her quickly, so as she notices, that you are there for her.


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## newmamalizzy (Jul 23, 2010)

Do you mean sleep on her own or fall asleep on her own? Is she only able to sleep on/next to you?


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## katelove (Apr 28, 2009)

Yes, that's what I was wondering as well. 


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## jubarbati (Jan 11, 2016)

Hi ladies, I mean teaching her how to sleep without my help. I love bedsharing so that's not a problem... it's the rocking for 30+ minutes that I am not enjoying very much these days :/


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## katelove (Apr 28, 2009)

To be honest, I'm not sure that putting herself to sleep is a reasonable expectation at 8mo. You could trying laying her down and leaving but I think there is a good chance it won't work. 

If the rocking is getting too hard, can you feed to sleep lying down and then get up once she's asleep? Or wear her to sleep in a carrier and then lay her down?


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## newmamalizzy (Jul 23, 2010)

I don't know that you can do it in one fell swoop. Not without a lot of crying and hysteria. Although - if you have never tried letting her cry for a few minutes, you might try it once to see the reaction. My DD2 had never been in a crib and always nursed to sleep. Then one day I had to step out to tend my older daughter at naptime, so I stuck her in the crib and she wailed for 3 minutes then went to sleep. I was mind-boggled. And it wasn't a fluke! She sleeps in the crib next to my bed now and seems to really prefer it. So, I'm certainly not advocating CIO, but you might want to just experiment one time. You'll know in a matter of 3 - 5 minutes whether or not your kiddo is heading towards sleep or freaking out. 

Otherwise, I would approach this as a slow process where you keep moving towards the next best thing. My first required a very specific bouncing in my arms routine to sleep, but at some point we moved to her on my lap thwacking her rhythmically on the back and singing a very specific song. Then we moved to her lying next to me with the same thwacking/singing. Then more gentle back rubbing. Then stroking her head. Then just holding hands. Then me lying next to her without touching. Then lying farther away. And by then she was confortable with me leaving for short periods. This was all over the course of a year and a half, by the way, but my DD1 was a particularly bad sleeper. The trick is to be consistent. Set a new boundary, and don't move backwards until you've given it a very solid try.


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