# Our Night Weaning Story - Daily Progression



## Mama_of_1 (Mar 31, 2005)

I'm going to document our daily progress on our night weaning journey in a hope that it might give me some clarity and possibly help another family. Input and support are always welcome. 

Background: Our DD is 22 mos. At 15 mos she was diagnosed with severe anemia and we immediately started her on various iron supplements trying to improve her iron levels. She has been a horrid sleeper. We have only had one night where she slept for a 5 hour stretch and I woke with a start fearing that she was dead. On rare occasions, she has slept for 3 even 4 glorious hours at a stretch. Those were usually few and far between. Our current waking schedule is her waking to nuzzle/nurse every 45min-1 hr. We cosleep and I am physically and emotionally breaking down, depression set in a long time ago and I battle it every day. I also have a son (almost 12) from a previous life, and do not have the energy to spend time with him. My marriage is suffering.

DH and I have decided that we must do something. It is possible that a food sensitivity is causing the wake-ups, I cannot physically function and so we have to try night weaning.

I will update this thread after each night, posting our progress and setbacks and ramblings, as they come to me.

Night 1: DD is not interested in sitting still for books so we turned down lights and quieted the house, brushed our teeth and wiped down our faces, got dressed in pj's and walked around with DD on my hip saying good night to everyone and all the animals. I was talking to DD about how now it is dark outside and that soon we will all be going to sleep. Daddy will sleep, Mama will sleep, Harley will sleep, doggies will sleep, kitties will sleep. The moon sleeps too. K will sleep and so will ner-ners. In the morning, when it is light out, K can have more ner-ners. DD nodded in agreement like she understood but I'm sure that she was just going with the story.

I nursed DD down to sleep and she was out by 9:30. I stayed up reading on night weaning, discussing our plan of action with DH, and looking for other inspiring success stories. Bedtime for me was around 11:30 but I had a hard time falling asleep because I was nervous about what was to come. Finally drifted off around 12:15 or so, I'm guessing.

DD wakes at 12:30. I tell her no, ner-ners are sleeping. She goes into full meldown hysterics, screeching and screaming, arching her back, kicking my legs, flinging her arms around, for over an hour. I work my best calm voice telling her that it's night and ner-ners are sleeping, like doggies are sleeping and daddy is sleeping. Do you want some water? No! This is repeated over and over again. Somewhere around 1:30, DH says that we might as well put away her sippy cup since she's just flinging it around and puts it up on the nightstand. DD melts even more screaming for her cup. After a few minutes, DH gives her the water, she takes it, starts sucking on it and starts to quiet down a bit. She finally aquiesces around 2, lays still enough to calm herself, occassionally taking sips of water. She drifts off.

DD wakes again at 4, I think. I'm thinking that there were 2 solid hours of sleep in there. This time, the hysterics aren't nearly as severe and she quiets in about 10 minutes, sipping her water and gluing herself to my side. She drifts off again.

DD wakes again at 5:30, I think, but it's still dark out. She asks only a couple of times and doesn't go into hysterics, just a little bit of whining/crying. She's back out in a few minutes.

DD wakes again at 6:30, it's light out, so she gets ner-ners. I talk to her, telling her that the sun is out so the ner-ners are ready to give her some milk.

Night 1 was both worse and better than I was expecting. DD has been a bit more subdued today. Not quite as fiesty but with huge bags under her eyes. In spite of the huge amount of sleep loss, I actually feel not horribly, if that makes any sense. Although last night was not good, it was better than being woken up every 45 minutes. All. Night. Long.

Stay tuned.


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## mom2PJS (May 25, 2006)

Good luck. It gets better from here. But then there are some 'relapse' nights. Hang in there.


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## lolcatmom (Apr 10, 2011)

Just wanted to share some long distance support to say it took about 3 weeks of doing exactly what you've done, and we've made some progress. DD is 2 years old and we co-sleep for half the night. Hang in there!


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## lolcatmom (Apr 10, 2011)

WHoops, I should add that we introduced a lovey, and we use a rocking chair or a yoga ball for bouncing, to help soothe her in other ways. We've broken the nurse-to-sleep association (in the middle of the night) but she does rely now on the rocking chair or bouncy ball. So, we're slowing moving away from those as well.


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## Mama_of_1 (Mar 31, 2005)

Thanks for the words of encouragement, mamas! I'll take all that I can get!!!!









Night 2: Bedtime was surprisingly easy... DD was out in about 25 minutes, after nursing she rolled over and fell asleep by herself. It could be that she was as worn out by the previous night's drama as I was, but still, I'll take any little tiny improvement. We had our little "Ellie" the elephant and our non-drip sippy of water nearby. Bedtime was around 8:15 or so, but I don't remember exactly. I came to bed around 9:45/10 and she stayed asleep for a little while longer.

I remember that she woke once maybe around 12 or so but settled back down by herself with a minute or two without too many loud protests. The next wakeup was at 2 and that was much more forceful but not nearly the Greek tragedy that the 1st night was. I think total was maybe 15 minutes of arching back, kicking me in the legs, flailing her arms, and crying. This time, there wasn't as much screeching screaming. A touch more sedate. We did the same routine: "shhhh" it's time to sleep - it's dark out - doggies are sleeping, ner-ners are sleeping, do you want some water? etc.

I think there was one more sedate wakeup and then she roused again around 5:30 and I wasn't sure how to proceed. It was starting to barely break dawn outside so I let her nurse. In retrospect, I should have waited a bit longer since this would have been short of the 7 hours that Dr. Gordon recommends. We'll see how tonight goes - if the slip up on my part made a difference.

Around 6:30, she roused, I let her nurse while quietly telling her that it's light outside and now the ner-ners are awake and ready to make her some milk. I said this very quietly and only repeated once or twice but I'm sure she heard me. She ate up and then went back to sleep.

I got up at 7:30 because I couldn't sleep. Had to pee, again.







DD stayed down until 8:30/8:45 - a full hour after I was out of the bed!!! This hasn't happened in sooooooo long! It made for a 12 hour night for her! OMG, I can't even begin to hope out of fear of jinxing myself.

During the day, she was more perky, less whiney or cranky AND took a 2-hour nap!!! That makes for a 14 hour sleep for DD in 24 hours. We've not had that since she was a tiny newborn!!!!

Bedtime tonight was a little more difficult but I suspect it had to do with the copious quantity of watermelon she insisted on stuffing herself with at dinner. LOL Tomorrow night, I'll update with the results for tonight - night 3.


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## Mama_of_1 (Mar 31, 2005)

Oh, and I had an appointment scheduled with a pediatric sleep specialist for Tuesday but I think I may cancel that. She has no breathing issues that I've been able to observe and I have no idea how in the world we would do a sleep study since the sleep study clinics all have tiny twin beds. I don't think they'd look kindly on me nursing her down and expecting to stay in the same bed.

I think our first course will be to an allergist to see if there's an underlying reaction to something she's taking in. She has only had one physical allergic reaction and that was to apples. She broke out in a rash around her mouth. We cut those out and the rash went away and didn't come back. She has had apples since then but only in very small quantities. I think it's worth investigating if there's a sensitivity that's causing her sleep disturbances. I'd like not think that it's just my bad habit of jumping to her every peep except that that's what feels right so I'm not even going there.

Ok, off to bed for me.


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## Mama_of_1 (Mar 31, 2005)

Talked to the Ped's office today and they said that pediatric allergists require that toddlers be 2 before they'll test them for allergies. Um, that doesn't really make sense so I'll be calling one tomorrow to ask directly. Cancelled the sleep specialist appointment until we see if the night weaning works or doesn't. Need to take this one approach at a time to make sure that we're getting accurate answers.

Last night - Night 3: Bedtime was around 9:30 by the time DD finally fell asleep. There was one or two mild wake-ups in the early hours and then big upset wake-up at 4. That one lasted about 20 minutes split into 2 - 10 minute sessions. She calmed herself for a few minutes, started falling asleep, and then realized that she didn't get what she wanted/needed and roused up again. After that, she woke briefly at around 5 or 5:30, and then not again until almost 7 when the ner-ners were awake and ready to make milk for her. She finally got up at 7:30. So - that makes 10 hours of bedtime-ish sleep-like something-or-other.

Today, we had a drive across town so she was awake on the way there in the morning but slept on the way back from 11:30-12. She got sleepy again around 2, and we both napped for about 1.5 hours.

Total sleep in the last 24 hours - 12 hours. Not too bad. Not as good as 14, but I'll take it.

Really, I'm looking forward to her not being a car napper. Those dang quicky naps tend to mess her up for her regular nap and then she's off the rest of the day...









Tonight's bedtime (Night 4) was a little later than I preferred but it's all in the routine. DD fell asleep at 9:30. It's hard to start the bedtime quite as early when she starts screaming "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!" the minute DH walks in the door and she wants time with him.

The saga continues...


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## carmen358 (Jul 5, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Mama_of_1*
> 
> Talked to the Ped's office today and they said that pediatric allergists require that toddlers be 2 before they'll test them for allergies. Um, that doesn't really make sense so I'll be calling one tomorrow to ask directly. Cancelled the sleep specialist appointment until we see if the night weaning works or doesn't. Need to take this one approach at a time to make sure that we're getting accurate answers.


We were told this by our GP and 2 pediatricians. Apparently the results are not very accurate so they don't bother. Have you tried an elimination diet at all?


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## Mama_of_1 (Mar 31, 2005)

We haven't tried an elimination diet yet. Still trying to wrap our brains about what to do first and then in what order.

Last night was meh. DD woke just as I was coming to bed at 12 so I went ahead and nursed her figuring that I'd shift the "7 hour window" to last till 7 this morning. She wasn't sure what was happening and thought that I was telling her no so she had another screaming fit. It took me several minutes to get her calmed down to realize that I was offering the breast. Or, maybe she was having a dream. I don't know.

The next wake up was at 4. I guess 4 hours is a good thing. DD proceeded to go into another fit, pointedly kicking me and flailing her arms trying to hit me. Luckily, it only lasted about 15 minutes. She drifted off on her own. After that it was closer to 5 for the next wake up. Same scene. DH had to get up for work anyway within a few minutes so DD was his alarm clock.

The next time she woke was at 7:30 and it was light out so the ner-ners were making milk. I left her in bed after that and she finally got up at 8:30.

Not too bad, overall, considering everything. Though my resolve is wavering slightly, feeling like I'm being a terrible mother forcing her do something she doesn't want to. On the flip side, it's either this or the loony bin for me. I can't be much of a mother to her if I'm locked away in a padded room drooling on myself.

Today, the nap was about 2 hours. So total sleep for the past 24 was about 10+2 = 12 hours.

So, um, how long does this screaming phase last? Anyone been there, done that and got the t-shirt? I could really use some words of encouragement.


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## whozeyermamma (Oct 11, 2007)

I have to say I just read your posts eagerly! Please please keep them up!

I have a feeling that I will be in your shoes at some point - my 1-year-old DS nurses every 2 hrs 'round the clock and at some point I'm going to be losing my mind. I know he won't just give it up on his own.

I would have to say that as an outsider it seems like it's going quite well. You've gone from waking every hour to two or three wakeups. The screaming fits have gone from 1 1/2 hrs to 15 mins.

You are a *great* mom, you're still supporting your DD and helping her make a transition that you and she needs to make!! Good luck!!!


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## Mama_of_1 (Mar 31, 2005)

Thanks for the support, whozeyermamma! I'm freaking out wondering if I'm scarring her for life by letting her scream in the middle of the night when the primary person she depends on to feel safe is just laying there and not giving her what she wants. Then again, it's all my paranoia and I know that kids are very resilient and that this is a minor thing compared to the many other wonderful experiences I hope to leave her with.

Night 5 - Last night was an average bedtime lasting about 40-45 minutes. We've had better and we've certainly had much worse.







DD was out about 9:15 and I didn't come to bed until 10:30. I tried to rouse her to get her to nurse but any gentle nudging and coaxing did nothing. She wanted to sleep more than she wanted to respond to whatever words of mine made it through her sleep haze. I braced myself for another midnight wakeup screaming in hunger, or just habit?, but it didn't come. Lo and behold, Little Miss wakes me at 4:30! Yes, that's right. 4:30 for her first wake up! I couldn't believe it! From 9:30 to 4:30 for a solid 7 hours of sleep in one stretch. Holy Cow!







Now, I know that the second I have just put those words to print, our pattern will reverse since I have just jinxed myself. 







This wake up at 4:30 only lasted about 15-20 minutes. She definitely caused a fuss and was aiming hard with her kicks. Ouch. I'm still surprised that I've yet to wake up without bruises in the morning. She eventually drifted off and then woke up again at 5:30. It was still dark so we had another 10 minutes or so of kicking mama, arching, flailing, and such. At 6:30, it was light out so the ner-ners were open for bidniz! We both fell back asleep and finally got up for the day at 7:30.

So, rough estimate of last night's sleep hours: 9:30 - 7:30 = 10 hours, 7 of which were solid!









I have to say, though, that DD is a very opinionated and headstrong child. At 22 mos she definitely knows what she wants and what she doesn't want. Some of her biggest fits have to do with us not letting her do something on her own that she has deemed necessary and we as unsafe. LOL I certainly didn't expect this to go easily, nor tremendously difficult. However, I would certainly appreciate it if the kicking were to stop.









Today's nap was meh. She passed out attached to the nipple and then woke during her light sleep phase, a mere 45 minutes later. I had stuff I needed to do so I didn't get into bed before she entered the light sleep phase and couldn't get her to go back to sleep.

It's 8:15 here now and I'm hoping that tonight's bedtime will be easy breazy because I'd really like to spend some "awake" time with my DH.


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## Carlin (Oct 14, 2006)

Thank you for sharing your sleep journey with us! I think you are a great mama for making sure your DD gets what she needs, even if it's not necessarily what she wants at the moment!

I have a just turned 2 year old who is dropping naps and still nursing a lot at night and I'm begining to think that something has to change. Night weaning is beginning to look like the next step for us too.


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## carmen358 (Jul 5, 2008)

I am also enjoying reading along with your experience. I'm on night 6 of night weaning my 18 month old. Well, I'm actually only trying for a 6 or 7 hour stretch. We have also struggled with 30-60 minute wake ups all night since about 7 months.

Good luck to you and your DD!


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## mamika (Feb 28, 2009)

I think you are doing a great job. I know its difficult initiating something that your lo is fighting so hard but you are right about needing to get the rest YOU need in order to be the mom you want to be. On another note, I think the fact that you are so concerned about how your actions are affecting dd are a testiment to being a good mom 

We also night-weened DS when he was 18 months old. I was sleeping very little at the time due to his constant waking up every 45 min. I thought I was going to go crazy so I did a bunch of research and decided along with DH that it was time to take the plunge. We took a little different approach and decided that I would sleep on the couch for one week and DH would be responsible for soothing DS when he woke up during the night. The first night was rough. DS woke up and cried for 30 min but DH just did his part and was a loving father until DS was done fighting and fell back asleep. He woke up a couple times that night but nothing as dramatic as the first wake up. I told myself I would nurse at the latest 11am and then starting at 6am I would nurse again. It was hard for me to listen to from the couch, but I knew that DS was not alone and I just kept reminding myself of why we all needed DS to sleep better. We went into this with the mentality that if its to tough for us all then we would wait and try again later, and I think that helped because I knew I could throw in the flag if I needed.

However, the next night was progressively better and then from night 3 on DS slept the whole night and never asked to nurse again. After one week I returned to the family bed (well-rested for the first time in a long time) and he had no relapses. It was such a pleasure being able to sleep next my lo w/out feeling tortured  He did wake up sometimes for a drink but unless he was sick he would sleep. Now DS is 2.5 and sleeps all night but if sleeping in his own bed, he wakes half the time to come into our room. If DH sleeps with him then he rarely wakes at all.

My point is, it will get better. Just keep doing what you need to do and read your DDs cues which it sounds like you are doing very well!


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## Mama_of_1 (Mar 31, 2005)

Thanks for the support, mamas! I still have my doubts sometimes, but then I'm pretty infamous for second-guessing myself. LOL Everyone always tells me that I'm too hard on myself, and perhaps they are correct, but I think nothing is worth doing if not to your best ability and in earnest.

Last night was another meh night. Just as DH and I were going to bed, DD woke and wanted to nurse. It's 10:55p so ok. Then again at 12 but this time no ner-ners with the predictable anger, flailing and kicking. Midway through she launched herself over me to DH and then proceeded to kick him. Sharing the blame, I guess. After settling down once, she roused 10 minutes later and kicked DH again. Yea! I'm not the only one she's mad at!!!









The wakings continued more frequently - again at 4, 5, 5:30ish, and then at 6:30 when the milk was again a-flowing.

My head is pretty fuzzy today with a headache so I'm not sure I remember correctly what time she went to bed originally but it wasn't real early. Today, she didn't really get a nap other than the 20 minutes in the car on the way home from Costco. We got home, DS comes home from camp, eat lunch and then have to run errands so it was a sucky day for keeping things calm, cool, and collected. Tonight, she passed out at 9:15 so I'm pretty confident that she'll be up again in a few minutes.

DD is starting to get congested from the nasty seasonal allergies we have down here in Texas but I'm thinking that consistency is key. She may wake up more often tonight but I need to maintain my "mean mama" stance about no snackies at night.

Dinner is put away, the sink is in reasonable condition, and DH has work to do so I'm going to try to go to bed before it's too late. I'm going to ignore the laundry tonight!


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## howeberry (Mar 9, 2011)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Mama_of_1*
> 
> Midway through she launched herself over me to DH and then proceeded to kick him. Sharing the blame, I guess. After settling down once, she roused 10 minutes later and kicked DH again. Yea! I'm not the only one she's mad at!!!










I love this! I have bruises all over my thighs from DS kicking at night, and we're still night-nursing (he's 8 mo). At least he's long enough to not kick my C-section scar anymore, but I kinda wish he's "share" with DH once in a while...

Sounds like it's going well. I'm taking notes and hoping I can find this thread when we're ready to night wean.

Good luck!!


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## Mama_of_1 (Mar 31, 2005)

Sorry for skipping a night. Yesterday was just too jam packed and I couldn't find 5 minutes to sit and collect my thoughts. Here's a quick update:

Night 7 (Thursday night): DD was not having any of this weaning bidnez! She fell asleep around 9/9:15 and then proceeded to wake up every 45 minutes for the next 3 or so hours. The upset level was about the same but the duration was shorter. I guess that's progress. At some point, she skipped to every hour then every two but was not any happier. Oh, and she kicked DH again.







Poor Hubby doesn't know what to make of all this right now. Breakfast milk at 6:30 and on with the day. So, not a very restfull night for any of us. The nap was pretty sucky too. I guess it's true that naps and night sleep go hand in hand.

Night 8 (last night): Yea!!!! MUCH better! DD was out around 8:45 from being tired and slept until 4! When she woke, it was much milder and the duration was shorter. She drifted off and then roused again a couple minutes later, then drifted off for another 2.5 hours! Ok, so on night 8, she got 7 solid hours, followed by 2.5 more = 9.5 hours overnight + 1 hour nap and still going now. Normally, she'd be up by now but I'm not going to broadcast that too loudly since she'll probably take in my keystrokes by osmosis and be walking out pointing at my boob within the next 30 seconds.







When I came to bed, I didn't rouse her for a feeding. I would have before but for some reason, I didn't. Maybe it was because she seemed in a deep part of sleep and I didn't want to interrupt that. I don't know if it helped or not. Still, I can't imagine that it hurt since she slept so reasonably well. Or maybe it was because she stuffed herself with 2-1/2 whole pieces of pizza for dinner and was in a food coma.

Now, something else I've been mulling over is clothing selection and body temperature during sleep for babies/toddlers who don't cover up. I generally keep the house pretty warm (79/80) because we live in crazy hot Texas and our house isn't very energy efficient. If I try to keep the house cooler, our electric bill goes through the roof and we top $500 for the month just for electricity in the summer. Ouch. Big fat ouch. We have a ceiling fan in every single room of the house and that's the only way we keep the feel reasonable. At night, since she sleeps with us but not under the sheet (I don't use a blanket, just a sheet in the summer), I dress her in a short sleeve pj shirt, and long pj pants. The last several nights, she's felt a touch too cool so I've started putting on some mid-weight socks on her feet. With that addition, her skin - mainly her palms - has felt more warm but she still doesn't sweat. Now, it could be my imagination because she didn't ever try to curl up in a ball or crawl inside my skin when she didn't have her socks on but it's still something that makes me go "hmmm" like that bad 80's song.

So, no answers today, just more questions.

Till next time...


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## Mama_of_1 (Mar 31, 2005)

The last two nights have been on the "good" side. DD is waking for the first time somewhere around 4. I can deal with that. The second time has been coming around 5:30. Meh. Definitely could skip that one. The "sun is up" wake at 6:30 is fine and we've been sleeping in for another hour or so. Last night, the 4:00 a.m. wake was less good as she was really angry about not getting her ner-ners at night. There was some serious kicking going on and I didn't really appreciate it. She roused enough to aim pointed kicks to the point that I had to more strongly assert the "no kicking" and let the focus stray away from no ner-ners. Not sure what the difference was, though, so it's hard for me to draw a conclusion. She was so vocal, actually, that DH woke and was asking if he could help.







Naturally, she wanted nothing to do with him since he's not lactating but still it was nice to have a diversion.

Tonight's bedtime was totally messed up with going out to see the nearby fireworks. DD fell asleep in under 20 minutes once she layed down. She crawled across the bed, pulled up the sheet to cover herself with (she'd kick it off in the night because she'd be too hot and not know how to navigate the "covered" feel) and just lay there for a minute while I caught up to her and put her "in position" to begin the bedtime nursing. OH, but this was AFTER she chomped down 3 large pretzels the minute we got home. I'm hoping that the pretzels will satiate her desire for nutrients and maybe push the initial waking to 5. A girl can dream!!!









Till next time...


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## Mama_of_1 (Mar 31, 2005)

Ok, so last night sucked. At least it did in my perspective. DD kicked the heck out of me. Really. tired. of. the. kicking. Maybe I'm being wishy-washy in my sleep-daze and undermining my effectiveness??? DD went to sleep pretty easily seeing as it was 10:30 and we came home from watching fireworks. She was dead-beat tired and pretty much was out within 10 minutes. LOVED that part!







But then she woke at 5:15 and stayed up for a total of 30 minutes thrashing and screaming and kicking at me. Not DH.







Where was the sharing of the anger?!?! Sheesh!

Ok, so then at 6:30, she's up again, it's time for the sun to come out so the ner-ners are making milk. She's all happy smiling people with this. Then she's up for the day. GAH!









Today's nap sucked because she fought hard at falling asleep. Even attached to the nipple, she didn't want to give in to sleep. I suspect it was the catch-22 scenario of the lack of sufficient hours overnight. She went down screaming and finally passed out. Stayed out for 1.5 hours so I'll definitely take that. Naturally, I said to myself, "let me just take care of x and then I'll go lay down." HA! Never happened. You know the drill - one thing leads to another and next thing you know the time's up and you're rest time is toast.









I've been doing a lot of thinking today about whether nursing in bed is perhaps more detrimental to my sanity, overall. DD is a very strong willed girl and doesn't take "no" or redirection well. While that will be an awesome thing in about 20 or 30 years, it's rather sucky for me, the mama of said strong willed girl, right now. What if I stop nursing to sleep while laying down? What if I nurse in a chair, or on the couch or, anywhere else but in bed? Yes, the bedtime would be a little longer because she wouldn't have her "milk drunk" state to woo her to sleep but would it be better in the long run? This does bring back some nightmare scenarios of sitting by DS's side for 2+ hours every night while he flopped around on the bed until he was passed out enough to not hear me leave the room. This left me thoroughly and completely exhausted and a complete waste of space for the remaining .3 seconds to clean up and shut down the house.

Maybe DD sleeps with DH for a couple of weeks and I sleep in her "big girl" double bed? While this is far from ideal as DH and I are pretty strongly of the belief that spouses should be sleeping in the same bed, if the arrangement is a temporary one to get to where we need to be then it'd be worth it. Or, maybe I put her to sleep in her big girl bed in her own room - in which she's never slept a night, just naps during the day and that only recently since we put it in a week or so ago - and then sneak out and let her wake at whatever hour and either come find me or I go to her. The worry that I have with that is that she'll rile herself up and it'll take longer to calm her down and get her back to sleep.

Oh, where is my toddler manual?!?!?!


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## Mama_of_1 (Mar 31, 2005)

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG DD went to sleep around 9:30 last night, woke up at 10:55 so the milk was on. Then slept solid until 6:30 this morning!!!!!!! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG









Uh, ok, what's the bomb that's going to fall today???









More as our day progresses...


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## janet953 (May 5, 2011)

Sure hope this good night repeats itself for you & family, mama.

If you feel you've had success, would you sometime summarize your steps/your experience?


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## bookwormbarbie (May 12, 2011)

I'd also like to say, "thank you" so much for sharing your story and progression. You are doing a great job! My DS is 18 mo. old, and I got on the forums specifically looking for threads on night-time sleep/nursing, etc. I haven't decided what to do yet, but I enjoy your sense of humor and open-ness! 

--Another Tired Mama


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## Mama_of_1 (Mar 31, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *janet953*
> 
> If you feel you've had success, would you sometime summarize your steps/your experience?


Janet, the best summary I can give you is to read through Dr. Sears, Jay Gordon, and whoever else feels right to you and then make a plan and stick with it. What worked for us may or may not work for you because your LO may respond to something that ours does not. DH and I went so far as to verbally discuss our detailed plan of action, talking about how we would deal with the various scenarios that we could think of. We started the very next night and as soon as I put DD to bed, I came out and confirmed with DH that I remembered correctly. You know well how your memory is not very trustworthy when you're sleep deprived. Yeah, well. There ya go!

Good luck! It CAN be done.

Yesterday's nap was pretty crummy! DD did NOT want to go to sleep. I wonder if it had something to do with the solid hours of sleep but I think it may be more the difference in the overall routine with no wakings and with us now napping in her "big girl" bed. Either way, I was beat and my tolerance was short so I snapped at her and then walked out.







After I pulled myself together, I went back in and helped her get back to sleep. DD slept for 1.5 hours! Yea!!!!









Last night, bedtime was not easy. For some reason, DD was yawning at 7:30. Repeatedly. She hasn't been yawning at that time since she was tiny.







So, naturally, we started bedtime right away - paying attention to her cues as good parents do. Ha! She showed me!







DD stayed up and fought going to bed for an hour and a half. At one point, she even crawled off the bed and ran out of the room. ARGGGGH. Ok, so I took another deep breath. Put her back on the bed and ordered her to go to sleep. Instead of laying down right next to her and letting her loll around, I decided to sit on the other side, DH's side, of the bed and kept telling her that it's time to sleep and that she needs to lay down and go to sleep. I did not offer to nurse again. Well, this only took about 15 (maybe 20) minutes. Wow. I actually had nightmare reminders of how DS's bedtimes used to be. He refused to fall asleep and it would take 2 hours of me sitting next to him before he not only fell asleep but enough to where I could confidently get off the bed and leave the room.

Dang kids!







We signed up for this, right?!

It was around 9:30 by this point and I came out, shut down the house, left the hubz sitting in his chair working on something, and went to bed.

DD didn't wake up until 6:15/6:30 AGAIN! WOOOO HOOOO! And the Angels were singing....









Ok, now, nobody tell her that I'm excited, ok?! It'll be our little secret!!!









Today's nap was sucky for a different reason. She fell asleep pretty quickly but was up and out of her bed and room in 40 minutes flat. Gah.

Ok, I'm hoping for another night of sleep, magical sleep.


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## Mama_of_1 (Mar 31, 2005)

Last night was not a good night compared to the last two. She went to sleep about an hour after normal and then woke at 5:15 asking to nurse. Since it would be another hour before the sun started coming up, I had to tell her no and she proceeded to kick me. Yea, me.







She got up for the day around 8 so that's not too bad but I sure do wish that last night was better. Turns out that she has a stomach virus of some sort. Slept with a touch of diarhea in her dipe all night and has been going all day long. Poor thing.







Nap today was a good one - 2 hours - except that I slept with her. She woke up after 45 minutes and wanted to nurse again. Gah - when does this nap thing resolve itself???

Tonight at bedtime, I did the same thing as last night - I nursed her sitting up in bed and then kept telling her to go lay down. It didn't take as long as last night's bedtime and she was pretty much out in about 15-20 minutes total. Mama likes that!









Here's to a good sleep tonight and a clear tummy tomorrow.

-As the Bed Doesn't Get Made


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## whozeyermamma (Oct 11, 2007)

I'm still reading, Mama!









I was wondering if maybe you might have some more success if you slept on the couch for a week and let DH handle the night wakings?

The other night I told my DH that we had to do a night wean soon b/c the boy was up every hour and I was just losing my mind. I've been falling asleep with him at 9 pm and missing time with DH and DD and anything else in my life.


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## Mama_of_1 (Mar 31, 2005)

We may try the separate sleeping arrangements but for now we need to get through this tummy bug that has DD telling me poop and me finding a nasty surprise in her dipe. Not fun. Going into the 3rd day but it's getting better.

So, with the tummy thing, I'm going to assume that it is the reason that DD has been waking about an hour or two EARLY before sunrise. I need to let this pass before I can begin to draw conclusions again about our progress... I think it's only fair. Overall, the last couple nights have not been bad - she's slept through till early morning and then fussed but just a few minutes before drifting off again. After the sun begins to come up, we go back to the same nursing routine as always.

Not too bad. Could be better. Hoping for a clear tummy today so she's not waking from hunger.


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## Mama_of_1 (Mar 31, 2005)

The last two nights have been not horrible. Bedtime has gotten better and DD does a better job of falling asleep on her own without me laying by her side and then popping my nipple out of her mouth and hoping that she doesn't roll back over to nurse some more. She's been waking up about 5 the last two nights. Overall, we're still getting 7 straight hours so I'm happy with that. I'd love it if we could push it all the way to 8 or more but for now I'll take it!









For those that might still be reading this thread, I want to encourage you to not give up and say that you are doomed to a number of years of poor sleeping habits from your LO. If you know for a fact that there is nothing medically wrong, encourage and coax the changes that YOU need to be healthy - physically, mentally, and emotionally. I know the toll that sleep deprivation took on me. I felt like I was invaded by some sort of strange being. I'd look at myself in the mirror and not really see me at all but some sort of creature that looked like she was about ready to fall down. I suspect that in the last two years (DD is 22 mos + the last 2 of pg), I have aged probably a good 5 years. Not a happy thing, Ladies!









We are going to continue the nursing "abstinence" in the wee hours. I am still sticking with the "sun is sleeping" factor to determine when to tell her no but I suspect the time is coming to try sleeping in another room altogether for a while and let DH sooth DD down if she wakes. For us, it'll be the transition to moving DD into her own bed, in her own room (where she's been napping now for the last couple of weeks anyway).

Keep strong, everyone! It does get better.


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## Mama_of_1 (Mar 31, 2005)

So, I don't know if anyone is still reading this thread but I am going to keep posting in hopes that something will click. For me, for you, for whoever.

Last couple of nights have been meh. DD is STILL waking at 4:30/5 and demanding to nurse. She quiets down after a few minutes but... DANG IT. I'm totally frustrated.

Last night, DH and I decided that we would try the separate sleeping arrangements. Up until this point, we have been reluctant to do that since we both believe that husbands and wives should sleep together. In the same bed. But, obviously, continuing to do what we have been doing isn't working and DD isn't ceasing to wake and throw a fit about not getting her way. I'm totally frustrated with night parenting and my level of patience is not what it ought to be.

Last night, I put DD down like I've been doing - sitting along side until she stops lolling around the bed and falls asleep. She's still at about 30-45 minutes so I can handle that. However, rather than coming to bed with DD and DH when it was time for me, I went into DD's room and slept on her "big girl" double bed. She woke at 4:30 and it was full blown hysterics for DH for about 30 minutes until she calmed herself and let DH pat her enough to let herself fall asleep again. She woke again at 6:15 and since it was light out, DH brought her to me.

This is the part that we are hazy about. I'd really like it if DD slept a little later since she doesn't go down until about 9 or 9:30. With that timing, 6:30 is really too early for her to be getting up. If she slept another hour, then I could get up and I wouldn't resent being a nursemaid for an hour while she got her fill.

Thoughts? Suggestions?

We'll be doing this again but I guess I'm a little unsure how to proceed here. Ideally, DH would parent her through this week until we can get her to STOP waking at 4:30/5. I guess if she becomes a 6:30 wake-up girl, then I can deal with that better than the way things are now. No, I don't think I'd be ok with just letting her come back into our bed for the last bit of sleep in the early morning. I am still suffering from serious mood issues and I think they are sleep related. Unfortunately, I just can't shake it right now. Even though the night sleep is SIGNIFICANTLY improved, I guess my body (mind?) is now getting greedy and I want more.

(sigh)

It's nap time.


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## mikanmom (Sep 26, 2008)

I just found your thread and read the whole thing w/ great interest.

My DD now almost 3 has always been a horrible sleeper and frequent nurser. I finally got her down to 1 or 2 morning nurses but would be happy to be done w/ those too,

my struggle is the nightmarish 2 hours of putting DD to sleep that you speak of- UGH it's driving me insane!!...

and i'm still working on trying to find a solution to the problem.......thinking of trying to physically wear her out more during the day, since that seemed to have worked wonders for us tonight.

anyway I wanted to say that it looks like you've made some serious progress!! and good work sticking with it!

Just wondering but is your DD sensitive to light? We got black out curtains from WMrt and they seem to help a little, for us, moslty at bedtime though since the sun goes down so late. But the dark room in the morning helps too.


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## Mama_of_1 (Mar 31, 2005)

We have near-black out shades. It's two (relatively thick) layers over 2" blinds, which are angled up in toward the ceiling which lets in less light than if we were to have them angled down toward the floor. I don't think light is an issue as it's still pretty dark at 4:30/5 when she wakes...







We have to keep the bottoms of the blinds pulled up about a foot or so since we have cats and they like to look out the windows. We learned the hard way what happens to blinds if they're not pre-opened for our feline friends.

I'm thinking that tonight, and into morning, we'll do the initial same thing - have DH sleep with DD and I'll sleep on her bed. Then in the morning, when she wakes at 6:30ish, he can try to encourage her to go back to sleep and if she doesn't then she's up for the day. I'm thinking I'm not real keen on the hour-long pacifier that's been her compensation so far.

Let's see... We're starting week 3 now and I'm ready for some breakthroughs.

Keeping our fingers crossed that it won't take that much longer!!!


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## mikanmom (Sep 26, 2008)

What is your ideal dream of a great bed/night time? Does your DD nurse or is the am nursing her only nursing time?

I don't like the early am nursing either, Yikes 4:30?! Ouch!

I'm feeling wishy-washy about compleat weaning though....

I think if i got the bedtime routine under controll an early am nurse might not be as annoying as it sometimes is now

hope some breakthroughs are coming your way!


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## Mama_of_1 (Mar 31, 2005)

Quote:



> Originally Posted by *mikanmom*
> 
> What is your ideal dream of a great bed/night time? Does your DD nurse or is the am nursing her only nursing time?
> 
> ...


DD nurses pretty much several times during the day. She nurses upon waking (or 6:30, whichever comes first), at naptime, upon waking from nap, sometimes in the late afternoon, and then at bedtime. I don't want her to wean yet. The daytime is perfectly ok with me to have her nursing at this frequency. She's still taking in a LOT of milk. I can hear her swallowing so I know I'm making plenty.

It's the nighttime routine that I need to have improve. We have already seen a significant improvement but I guess I'm greedy - I want even more. I want her sleep. I want her to sleep because it's also good for her, not just for me. She's almost 2. She's verbal, bi-lingual, and VERY active. This child NEEDS her sleep. When she doesn't get enough, she's a completely different kiddo. She's not as patient with herself or her surroundings. She's much more clingy, whiny, and easy to upset. It's basically a bad day for everyone because we're having to compensate for her tired. I know the same thing holds true for when I'm tired. I'm no fool (even though I can act it).









Last night's transition to sleeping with just DH was better than the first night. She woke up at some point (DH doesn't know when since doesn't look at the clock and I don't have one in DD's room) but only made a few squeaks and then went back to sleep quickly after I heard DH sooth her a bit. At 6:30, she popped out of bed, left DH sleeping there, and went in search of me through the house. It actually came in handy that she walked right past her room because it gave me a chance to run to the bathroom to pee. Very important!!!









We then settled into the big bed for about a 40 minute nursing session while DH snored away, still pretty much catching his zzz's. I love that man! (Truly, I'm not being sarcastic!) I do totally envy his ability to sleep through stuff, though. But, in analyzing our little journey to Sleepville, I think the process has given him a greater awareness of DD's nighttime needs and I think having only him there has given DD a greater connection with him.

I am really keeping my fingers crossed for a continued successful transition!









(Besides, I don't like sleeping without DH as much as I am enjoying the freedom to move around a bit more in my sleep.







)


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## Mama_of_1 (Mar 31, 2005)

I've not updated our progression the last several nights, well, ok, a week, since there has been only slight improvement. I am still sleeping in DD's bed while she and DH are cosleeping. I miss sleeping with DH.









DD is still waking up. I'm still not sure what time because I've yet to figure out how to put an unobnoxious clock in her room that I can also see at night. Last night, she woke up at some point but DH doesn't remember her waking. He's a much harder sleeper than I. Or maybe I'm just a freakishly light sleeper? Either way, she's still waking up and we're now going on a month of this and I'm tired of it. I guess figuratively AND literally.

Last Thursday, I went to see a holistic nutritionist that I've seen before. Many, many years before. She did wonders for me last time so I'm keeping my fingers crossed this time also. I've got a set of supplements to take and DD takes one mixed into her frozen banana "ice cream" before bed. It's supposed to help regulate her system and get her sleeping better. It's the same thing for me but at double the dosage.

My PPD is cycling down again and I am again desperate for sleep. Even moreso that I haven't been able to nap on a regular basis with DD. Partly, because I don't really want to be her live pacifier when she rouses from her sleep after 45 minutes and then soothes attached to my nipple. Still, I guess it's better than nothing but ... meh.









I've started taking valerian to try to help ME relax overnight. It's helping initially but I still hear everything through my sleep. I am now more and more convinced that our sleep problems have to do, at least partly, with my sleep cycles.

Tonight, after DD was dressed for bed, she pointed to "her" bed and indicated that she wanted to sleep there. I didn't put her to sleep there because I'm not sleeping well enough to deal with a 1:30 a.m. (or whatever time) screaming wake up, or her rolling herself out of the bed, or, or, or, or.

Where's my magic wand?!?!?!


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## heatheresc (Mar 13, 2010)

Just want to chime and say thanks for sharing this story! My DS is almost 18 months, and I am getting more convinced nightweaning is in our future...sigh. I hope that things continue to improve for you, especially with your own moods & mental health!


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## friskykitty (Jul 4, 2010)

Lurker- I've been watching this thread since it was created and thought I'd jump in.

No magic bullets here. But I will say that I really think sleeping through the night is a developmental thing. My little man just night weaned this summer. He's 3.5 years old. We are down to nursing only to fall asleep and right before we get out of the bed. He was waking every 2 hours without fail from birth. The first month was really hard. Every time he woke I would tell him yummies are sleeping you can have them when mr. sun comes up. That resulted in lots of yelling,crying, tantruming, but it never lasted longer than a few minutes. Now he will sleep an 8 hour stretch without waking most nights, and some nights even a 10 hour stretch. It does get better. You have to do what is best for you as well though. And I think since you are having some ppd issues it's probably time to night wean.


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## howeberry (Mar 9, 2011)

I know it's almost been a year since the last update, but how does this story end? My DS is 19 mo and I'm starting to think night weaning is in our future. These every 2 hour night nursings are wearing on me, as are the 45 min nap/nurse intermissions, and the "I'm hungry & Mom is the closest food source" nursings, etc.

Thanks again for sharing!


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## Vivien57 (Feb 20, 2010)

I night weaned my daughter just before age three. We had a few nights of complaining and asking for milk, then it got much better. Now she probably sleeps through the night 4 out of every 5 nights. The other nights she wakes once or twice but doesn't ask for milk.

I was night nursing her and her younger brother and going crazy from sleep deprivation.

A tip I got from a naomi aldort article that used to be on this site is to nurse to sleep then not again until morning. That way they are never confused if it is time to nurse or not.


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