# Birth trauma/PTSD resources for healing



## mothercat (Mar 12, 2006)

There have been several threads on MDC in the past few months from women traumatized or at least disappointed by the birth they have had. It doesn't seem to matter where the birth took place or who the provider was or whether it was a surgical birth or vaginal, but there is the common thread of pain, hurt, and sometimes betrayal.

There have also been many very good resources listed for identifying PTSD which follows birth trauma. I have the links to websites for support and healing so they were all in one place for anyone who needs them. If I have missed any, feel free to add to this list.

Birth Trauma Support Group/Seattle www.birthtraumasupport.info

The site contains information for mothers, fathers, babies and family members recovering from birth experiences that were stressful for them. These birth experiences can take place in any environment, and can be vaginal or caesarean. This site contains information about recovery from traumatic and stressful birth experiences of any type, including caesarean recovery. It does not specifically address neonatal loss issues.

Birth Trauma Support www.joyousbirth.info/birthtrauma.html

This is an Australian birth website that offers information for identifying and dealing with traumatic birth, It includes information about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder following childbirth, as well as resources for healing, and links to other helpful web site. Especially helpful is the "Myths of Birth Trauma" essay.

Tabs www.tabs.org.nz/thewayahead

A site from New Zealand which offers very specific information for dealing with PTSD, including a list of therapies that may be helpful.

Birth Trauma Canada www.birthtraumacanada.org

Birth Trauma Canada is an organization of mothers traumatized by childbirth. Traumatic stress disorders and depression are normal reactions to severe physical and/or psychological stress. This site has three purposes: to give women a voice, to support women traumatized by birth, and to advocate for better obstetrical treatment and attitudes.

Midwives as Bullies

The unfortunate truth is that even midwives may cause birth trauma. Marinah Valenzuela Farrel has written a series of four articles for Midwifery Today. Although the focus of the series discusses how midwives are bullied, much of what is written there applies to women who are also bullied by midwives. The first three articles are available at Midwifery Today on-line. The fourth is only available in the journal as of 11/07.

Bullying, Part 1 www.midwiferytoday.com/articles/bullying_1.asp

Who is the Bully?, Part 2 www.midwiferytoday.com/articles/bullying_2.asp

Bullying and PTSD, Part 3 http://www.findamidwifetoday.com/art...ullrelease.asp

Joyous Birth site/ birth rape essay http://www.joyousbirth.info/forums/s...ead.php?t=3390

This site contains a descriptive (and possibly disturbing ) essay that discusses unwanted hospital procedures as a form of rape (birth rape). It is a thought provoking piece that may help explain why women feel violated after even an uncomplicated, lovely birth.


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## JanetF (Oct 31, 2004)

Quote:

Birth Trauma Support www.joyousbirth.info/birthtrauma.html

This is an Australian unassisted birth website that offers information for identifying and dealing with traumatic birth, It includes information about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder following childbirth, as well as resources for healing, and links to other helpful web site. Especially helpful is the "Myths of Birth Trauma" essay.
Thanks for linking to us







I'm the National Convenor of Joyous Birth and we are the Australian homebirth network, we're not an "unassisted birth website". We have members, as do all other forums, who choose freebirth but we are actually a homebirth site. Just letting people know







Birth trauma support is one of the biggest things we do because our maternity system is just as great as the US system. We also have a private subforum for women who are healing.

I'll be adding these Mid Today resources to our birth trauma page, thank you so much for posting them!


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## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

you jut sent me into total tears. i can not even come close to expressing this i=to you. THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!! my last birth was so bad it almost tore about my marriage and nearly 7 months later i am still having the hardest time. i can't sleep most nights and the nightmares and i relive it EVERY SINGLE DAY. it really is such a relief knowing that other's believe MWs can be bullies in birth, too. i don't know if i'll ever be able to get into what happened to me here but i know i need to. i need help and i don't know how to get it. so you have really answered my prayers.


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## JanetF (Oct 31, 2004)

I'm so sorry







Please feel free to PM. About 6-7 months after a traumatic birth is about when most women start to really feel it. I hope we can support you to find some healing.


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## mothercat (Mar 12, 2006)

JanetF, Thank you, I will make the correction on my site and to the OP. I probably saw the freebirth section and made the assumption.


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## mothercat (Mar 12, 2006)

magstphil

I am so, so sorry that this info even needed to be posted. It is probably the dirty little secret of midwives and the home birth community that midwives can be bullies and can inflict physical and emotional pain. Someone on the national ICAN list mentioned that they think we aren't quite so upset about this happening with physicians because we sort of expect that they think in a different model than most NB families.
But when this occurs with a BC or HB midwife we are shocked and dismayed, and feel betrayed.

I have seen this several times over the past few years and I really think it needs to be addressed in a national forum. There is a Hope and Healing conference that Midwifery Today is sponsoring in Ann Arbor, MI May 2008. It is aimed more toward midwives helping women who have been abused, but I hope to talk someone into speaking on women hurt by OOH midwives, or at least midwives in general.


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## JanetF (Oct 31, 2004)

I can tell you it makes you *HUGELY* unpopular to suggest midwives might look to themselves. I'm painted as a freebirth-promoting (uh that's bad?







) midwife-hating freak for occasionally saying stuff about a need for transparenecy in home midwifery.


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## mothercat (Mar 12, 2006)

Yes, it can make one quite unpopular, especially when the person saying it is a midwife. I'm a CNM who does birth OOH. So I get suspicions from both sides.

I think it needs to be addressed, at least to acknowledge the problem and know that we have to help heal the hurt that has been caused.

What I get most often from the OOH midwives is that I should know better than to criticize a sister midwife. I am giving aid and comfort to the enemy (physicians) essentially.

My point continues to be that if we don't do something about it, then aren't we just protecting our own just like those physicians that we complain about. I know it's not just the physicians but that is the most common stereotype among home birthers.

Since as midwives and a group we can't seem to address this, then the least I can do is make the info available to the women who need it.


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## njbeachgirl (Oct 8, 2006)

Wow thanks!


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## mothercat (Mar 12, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *njbeachgirl* 
Wow thanks!

You're welcome.


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## georgia (Jan 12, 2003)

Thanks so much for compiling the links and sharing with us


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## jennica (Aug 10, 2005)

I really think this needs to be a sticky. This subject comes up all the time all over this board.


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## mothercat (Mar 12, 2006)

Thanks for posting Jennica. I went over to the birth trauma tribe and reposted my OP there.
Georgia and I discussed making this a sticky before I even put it up. She would like it to stay in the threads for a while because sometimes when they become stickies they are passed over in search of newer threads.

I have seen birth trauma/disappointing birth threads pop up here before but had no idea there was a tribe on MDC.
Is there a way to link these two threads together to make the support and the resources easier for women to find?

Midwifery Today is having a Hope and Healing conference in Ann Arbor, MI in May 2008. I really think it is time the midwifery community begin talking about and taking responsibility for the trauma we cause, even if inadvertent.

It's easy to blame physicians, but I don't think the midwives realize that many of their interventions and intercessions are also traumatic. We think we are doing good and when the woman doesn't perceive it that way, it must be her and not how we tried to help.

I feel a new thread coming on.


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## JanetF (Oct 31, 2004)

There are a few threads on midwives working on this one. Check under my username for one in the HCP section







I'm happy to help out in any way if you can think of a way that doesn't involve international travel without sponsorship


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## georgia (Jan 12, 2003)

Here are a few previous threads that have some helpful information about birth trauma:

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=392545

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=754372

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=401192

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=767677

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=370800

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=304633


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## Shell_Ell (Jun 13, 2005)

This thread is such a great resource. Thank you for posting it.


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## meowee (Jul 8, 2004)

Thanks for the information-- I don't fully blame my midwife for the trauma. Things were tense and she was nervous because I was at the point where a medical type would have transferred me. So I did get a lot of "bossy" urgent instruction from her and bad energy. But the real trauma, from the pain, was just chance. I was hit with a hard birth, despite having done everything "right.".


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## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *meowee* 
Thanks for the information-- I don't fully blame my midwife for the trauma. Things were tense and she was nervous because I was at the point where a medical type would have transferred me. So I did get a lot of "bossy" urgent instruction from her and bad energy. But the real trauma, from the pain, was just chance. I was hit with a hard birth, despite having done everything "right.".

i think i would have the same viewpoint of my MW if she hadn't called me 10 hours later while i was still in the hospital to tell me she thought i failed and not only that but she thought i _wanted_ to fail. "you got out of the tub because you knew it was making you progress and you didn't want that. i have never seen someone create mental blocks to giving birth like that before. i learn something with every birth."









somebody please tell me i am not alone in thinking that that was completely wrong of her...


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## mothercat (Mar 12, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *magstphil* 
i think i would have the same viewpoint of my MW if she hadn't called me 10 hours later while i was still in the hospital to tell me she thought i failed and not only that but she thought i _wanted_ to fail. "you got out of the tub because you knew it was making you progress and you didn't want that. i have never seen someone create mental blocks to giving birth like that before. i learn something with every birth."









somebody please tell me i am not alone in thinking that that was completely wrong of her...

I think this comes under the heading of insensitivity as well as wrong. Have you read through the birth trauma web sites listed in the OP? The story you tell has been told there many times. It is the same info you will find in the MWT bully articles.

There is another mom that I know posts on MDC. Her midwife used another board to gather opinions and then sent them to her to prove that the mom didn't want the birth she said she did (didn't work hard enough/ gave up when it got tough). I think it is just another way for the midwife to deflect blame and/or not accept responsibility for her own actions.

I know that the MWT articles describe such actions as those of a bully, but I wonder if those actions aren't a little closer to abuse. There are so many similarities to how someone is emotionally abused. And unfortunately, the reaction the woman frequently gets is that it's her fault. It isn't, but that's easier than admitting there is a problem or a provider that is behaving this way.


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## HeatherRD (Oct 22, 2007)

I've never had a baby but am leaning toward a birthcenter or possibly a homebirth when I do. All the books I have read make it sound like hospital births are so traumatic and that unmedicated homebirths are best for mom and baby. But then, after reading all the posts about traumatic homebirths and the resulting depression/PTSD etc, I'm very confused.









*Mothercat,*









You seem so experienced and knowledgable. I have a few questions.

1. Do you have an idea as to the percent of homebirths/birth center births that are regarded as traumatic by the mother?

2. Is there a common thread among the traumatic stories, or is it unpredictable?

3. Also, if a mother wants an OOH birth but is worried about the pain becoming unbearable (as many have described), would it be better to chose a birthcenter over homebirth? Would it be easier to transfer from birthcenter to the hospital, or does it not matter?

Thanks!


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## jennica (Aug 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mothercat* 
Thanks for posting Jennica. I went over to the birth trauma tribe and reposted my OP there.
Georgia and I discussed making this a sticky before I even put it up. She would like it to stay in the threads for a while because sometimes when they become stickies they are passed over in search of newer threads.

I have seen birth trauma/disappointing birth threads pop up here before but had no idea there was a tribe on MDC.
Is there a way to link these two threads together to make the support and the resources easier for women to find?

Midwifery Today is having a Hope and Healing conference in Ann Arbor, MI in May 2008. I really think it is time the midwifery community begin talking about and taking responsibility for the trauma we cause, even if inadvertent.

It's easy to blame physicians, but I don't think the midwives realize that many of their interventions and intercessions are also traumatic. We think we are doing good and when the woman doesn't perceive it that way, it must be her and not how we tried to help.

I feel a new thread coming on.

Thanks for posting this info on the traumatic birth tribe. I started it after seeing how many threads pop up here and elsewhere on this board and asking in Q & A if we could get a forum or a sticky for traumatic or disappointing births. I was told to start a tribe first, and so I did. I hope this can become a sticky after awhile, I obviously think it is really needed here.


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## jennica (Aug 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *magstphil* 
i think i would have the same viewpoint of my MW if she hadn't called me 10 hours later while i was still in the hospital to tell me she thought i failed and not only that but she thought i _wanted_ to fail. "you got out of the tub because you knew it was making you progress and you didn't want that. i have never seen someone create mental blocks to giving birth like that before. i learn something with every birth."









somebody please tell me i am not alone in thinking that that was completely wrong of her...











My midwife (CNM/hospital birth) came and sat on my bed the next the morning and told me that I did not labor "normally" and that I acted like a child and that it made it hard for them to do their job. This was the next morning after I gave birth! I wasn't even close to processing the birth yet, I was still on a birth high. After that for months, no years, even now to this day I often feel like I did something wrong, like I really messed it all up and it was all my fault that things got so out of hand. Of course, it was not at all my fault, but I think the midwife was trying to convince me that it was in order to relieve her own guilt after realizing that she had totally screwed up. Knowing what a vulnerable state of mind I was in, it was easy for her to pass the guilt off to me. It's sad that midwives sometimes use this tactic. Why they feel a need to imply that the woman did anything wrong is beyond me. It has to do with them and not with us.


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## georgia (Jan 12, 2003)

Jennica, can you link to the Tribe here if you've not already done so? Thanks


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## meowee (Jul 8, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *magstphil* 
i think i would have the same viewpoint of my MW if she hadn't called me 10 hours later while i was still in the hospital to tell me she thought i failed and not only that but she thought i _wanted_ to fail. "you got out of the tub because you knew it was making you progress and you didn't want that. i have never seen someone create mental blocks to giving birth like that before. i learn something with every birth."









somebody please tell me i am not alone in thinking that that was completely wrong of her...

Yes, that's really bad... I can't imagine talking that way to anyone. My MW was saying stuff to me like, "You don't like to push" (not true). It's almost like they need to explain it their way, in their own minds, to make themselves feel better.

I do feel my MW failed me in afterbirth care. She never called me back for my follow up appt, so I never had one. I ended up getting terribly sick. I also needed stitches which she never did.







I finally got stitched properly after my next birth.


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## jennica (Aug 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *georgia* 
Jennica, can you link to the Tribe here if you've not already done so? Thanks









Oh yeah, here it is; disappointing, or traumatic birth experiences (and moving on from them) tribe


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## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jennica* 









My midwife (CNM/hospital birth) came and sat on my bed the next the morning and told me that I did not labor "normally" and that I acted like a child and that it made it hard for them to do their job. This was the next morning after I gave birth! I wasn't even close to processing the birth yet, I was still on a birth high. After that for months, no years, even now to this day I often feel like I did something wrong, like I really messed it all up and it was all my fault that things got so out of hand. Of course, it was not at all my fault, but I think the midwife was trying to convince me that it was in order to relieve her own guilt after realizing that she had totally screwed up. Knowing what a vulnerable state of mind I was in, it was easy for her to pass the guilt off to me. It's sad that midwives sometimes use this tactic. Why they feel a need to imply that the woman did anything wrong is beyond me. It has to do with them and not with us.









that seriously just...














what in the world are these women thinking? when my MW called me to tell me all that i wanted to say "Oh don't worry *insert her name here* you'll get your money"







: i seriously felt like she was blaming me so i wouldn't call her on her incompetence and not pay her.


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## jennica (Aug 10, 2005)

I just want to add a couple links.

First, if anyone is experiencing the symptoms of Postraumatic Stress Disorder, or if they find themselves to be very depressed about their birth experience and feel that they need to find help, here is a link that I think is very useful, Postpartum Support International

Keep in mind that trauma does not go away in time the same way that PPD will if untreated. It will keep popping up unless dealt with. Also, many therapists are not familiar with birth trauma, however, at least finding a therapist who is familiar with PPD and has worked with women on postpartum mood disorders is sometimes your best bet. In some cases there may be support groups in your area as well that a can be found through the link above.

Second, if therapy or a support group is out of the question for you, I have heard of many women having success with this technique; Emotional Freedom Technique. I have not personally tried this yet, but I intend to look into it. My therapist actually suggested it when I went through some financial difficulties and could not go to therapy for a couple months.


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## mothercat (Mar 12, 2006)

jennica,
thanks for posting the PSI info. I should have checked here before I asked you to post this today.


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## jennica (Aug 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mothercat* 
jennica,
thanks for posting the PSI info. I should have checked here before I asked you to post this today.

Your welcome. I just saw your request on the other thread and figured you missed it here, so glad you saw it.


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## Shanana (May 11, 2005)

Just wanted to post a few other things that can be helpful for dealing with trauma in general (so I feel they would be helpful for birth trauma as well). PTSD is known for being extremely resistant to traditional talk therapy, and more success is being found in "body-led" type therapies like EMDR, acupuncture, craniosacral therapy, etc.

There is a wonderful, wonderful book (written by a highly trained psychologist with a medical degree and a Ph.D in Cognitive Neuroscience who has been converted to "alternative" therapies) that explains how the brain works, and why talk therapy is so often unsuccessful. It sounds like dry material, but it was absolutely fascinating. He spends many chapters on alternative methods of treatment that he has thoroughly researched. The book is called The Instinct to Heal, and you can find the author's website here (website includes links to organizations that can help you find practitioners of the various modalities he discusses, etc.).

It is a fast and fascinating read, and I cannot recommend this book enough for anyone suffering from depression, anxiety, trauma, etc.

My personal experience has been healing trauma (related to birth as well as other things) through the use of craniosacral therapy, homeopathy, energy work and guided visualizations. I'm lucky enough to have found an amazing CS therapist as well as an incredible homeopath/healer who have acted as wonderful guides on my journey.

You can learn more about CST and find a pracitioner near you through the Upledger Insititute (www.upledger.com). I would advise finding a therapist who has the following classes at a minimum: CSI, CSI, SERI. SERII and one or more of the dialoging classes would be nice too.


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## columbusmomma (Oct 31, 2006)

subbing


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## mothercat (Mar 12, 2006)

bump
I need to add a note to this later tonight.


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## mwherbs (Oct 24, 2004)

good list of things- maybe boiled down to a sticky or something so it can be found? ......


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## smokeylo (Apr 26, 2007)

There is a birth trauma community on livejournal.


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## mothercat (Mar 12, 2006)

A new article from MWT "Entering Motherhood with PTSD"
http://www.midwiferytoday.com/articl...ing_trauma.asp

Linda


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## mom2ewc (Feb 17, 2007)

I'm currently writing a white paper for ICAN on the topic of PTSD...and so many things are coming up. More info than I ever expected to see. It's so sad that so many women need to talk about their traumatic births.

I am one of these moms. I had very bad PTSD after my son's birth. I wrote about all the details here on my blog. If it would help you to know that you're not alone, you can read my story (I don't hold anything back!):
http://bostonhealthcoach.blogspot.com/

I'm still putting together the white paper... so I don't have all of my resources together yet... but I can say that there are a few resources that I think would be helpful for any moms who are trying to help themselves recover from PTSD.

1. The first thing that's so important is to know that it's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's real, and it stinks, but it's not your fault. But you will get better. Even if it feels like you won't. You will.

2. I want to encourage moms suffering from PTSD to sign up for a Conscious Woman webinar being done by Sharon Storton of Solace. I got the chance to listen in to Sharon's presentation last week, and it was amazing. SO many good facts and helpful info for moms who are suffering from PTSD. Here's the info:
http://www.consciouswoman.org/2007/1...ood-disorders/

3. EMDR is a treatment option that is proven to be VERY effective for trauma. If you go to a typical care provider, they won't officially diagnose you with PTSD unless you meet all 7 criteria from the DSM. But even if you only have one or two symptoms, you should seek treatment... because just one or two symptoms can totally wreak havoc on your life.

If left untreated, PTSD can linger, and can turn into generalized anxiety disorder or PPD, so please ask for help.

4. EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) helps you to release the emotions and trauma associated with your birth. It is usually effective in 2-4 sessions, and works fast. It is proven to work... and to learn more, you can go here:
http://www.emdr.com/

I'm looking to include mom's personal PTSD stories and examples in my PTSD white paper for ICAN... so if anyone is willing to share their story with me, I'd be honored to read it. My email is: [email protected]

I'll post again once the white paper is done so you can see all the great resources and info available.


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## aweynsayl (Sep 27, 2003)

ohmygosh, i am so excited we got a stickey for this! i am literally doing a happy dance. i'd given up on this, and here it is!!! huzzah.

thank you thank you thank you.
xoxoxoxoxox

i have to second the EFT, and also suggest the shortcut version, tapping.

yay!!!!!
thank you, and hugs and healing vibes to all.


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## amitymama (Nov 17, 2006)

After a suggestion from Georgia that I place it here, I am sharing a link to a story I recently wrote for a feminist website on birth rape. It was also picked up and run by truebirth.com.

Not having suffered through birth trauma myself, I can only hope that I did the topic a modicum of justice. If anyone has feedback on how I couldn've improved it or what you liked, please feel free to let me know via PM or on this thread. Thank you!


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## mothercat (Mar 12, 2006)

Although there are other sites in other countries where you can submit your story, there is a new blog here in the US that is asking for submissions of stories about birth trauma and birth rape.

If you think this may be a healing experience for you, here is the link to Christy's blog spot.
www.thejourneyofanapprentice.blogspot.com

Her purpose in this request is to give a voice to women who have, and continue to suffer from what happened at the birth of their child or children. In a larger sense it will also let women know that they are not alone in what happened or how they are feeling.


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## jennica (Aug 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mothercat* 
Although there are other sites in other countries where you can submit your story, there is a new blog here in the US that is asking for submissions of stories about birth trauma and birth rape.

If you think this may be a healing experience for you, here is the link to Christy's blog spot.
www.thejourneyofanapprentice.blogspot.com

Her purpose in this request is to give a voice to women who have, and continue to suffer from what happened at the birth of their child or children. In a larger sense it will also let women know that they are not alone in what happened or how they are feeling.

The link doesn't work.

Also, just to note, this is someone's blog, not a website that has been set up specifically for birth trauma. It may be wise to read a few posts first and get a feel for where you are posting a very intimate part of yourself.


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## aweynsayl (Sep 27, 2003)

another resource for those who are using tapping or eft in their healing journey.... this article from the eft site.


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## That Is Nice (Jul 27, 2007)

subscribing


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## kakies (Aug 8, 2002)

Are any of these sites helpful for women who have suffered the traumatic birth of a baby who didn't survive? I am looking for a site that can be helpful in this situation, thanks.

A friend is in need of support.


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## jennica (Aug 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kakies* 
Are any of these sites helpful for women who have suffered the traumatic birth of a baby who didn't survive? I am looking for a site that can be helpful in this situation, thanks.

A friend is in need of support.

There is at least one women, I think two, that have posted on the Solace board whose babies did not survive, and there is definitely room for this aspect of birth trauma there. I think it really depends on what your friend is needing to work through right now. The birth trauma, or the grief of loosing a child. If she is really struggling with the birth trauma, then I recommend the Solace discussion board. If she is really struggling with the grief, I recommend finding her some resources that deal with that specifically. Or perhaps resources for both issues would work best for her.


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## bridey (May 4, 2006)

I just wanted to add a resource for women in SE Texas. There's a support group called *Healing Birth: A Sisterhood of Survivors* that meets once a month in Beaumont, Texas.

The support group is hosted by myself (doula & nurse) and my colleague (doula & CBE) and the focus of the group is on pregnancy, birth and motherhood. It's for anyone who has experienced a less than desireable birth experience, post partum depression/psychosis, miscarriages, unplanned c-section, etc. Really it's open to anyone who needs support.

We meet the 1st monday of the month at The Barking Dog Cafe (upstairs) the address is 493 Pearl St. The meeting starts at 6pm.

Feel free to come by and see us.


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## georgia (Jan 12, 2003)

Healing and Preventing Birth Trauma: www.solaceformothers.org
Telephone Support for Birth Trauma:
1-877-Solace 4
Support for Mothers Experiencing Birth Trauma:
http://forums.solaceformothers.org/mb/solaceformothers
Resources for Advocates and Supporters of Women with Birth Trauma:
http://forums.solaceformothers.org/mb/birthtrauma


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