# Tell me the most annoying advice or comment you've received!



## SaraZ (Aug 16, 2007)

I was walking down the street on a nice sunny day with my 6 month old when a woman stopped me to tell me that he was squinting. Since then I've been trying to compile a list of all the most annoying comments or advice that moms have heard...Give me your worst! And if you have any nice comebacks, I'd love to hear them too!


----------



## medicmama (May 5, 2006)

I hear "when they are old enough to ask for it (nursing), then its time to stop!. I have herd that twice in the past 3 days.







:


----------



## grniys (Aug 22, 2006)

"You're going to regret that."

Doesn't matter what I've heard it for. It annoys me each time. I heard it about co-sleeping. I heard it about carrying him around instead of letting him scream. I heard it about breastfeeding.

Haven't regretted one yet.


----------



## frontierpsych (Jun 11, 2006)

Guy at the corner store: "You need to put a hat on him, babies catch all kinds of diseases through their heads"

Me: "Thanks doc"


----------



## PabloHoneySF (Sep 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SaraZ* 
I was walking down the street on a nice sunny day with my 6 month old when a woman stopped me to tell me that he was squinting. Since then I've been trying to compile a list of all the most annoying comments or advice that moms have heard...Give me your worst! And if you have any nice comebacks, I'd love to hear them too!


I was breastfeeding my son at the gym's daycare center before going to work out and the woman working there said "are you sure he's latched on right?".








:

umm, yeah


----------



## annekka (Nov 19, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *frontierpsych* 
Guy at the corner store: "You need to put a hat on him, babies catch all kinds of diseases through their heads"

Me: "Thanks doc"









Oh man I really hate that one and I've heard it several times, mostly that my child will drop dead of pneumonia if I don't get a hat on their head immediately. A woman at the train station became quite aggressive about it, basically ordering me to put a hat on my baby. I explained that she was fine and that cold weather doesn't transmit infection, she finally walked away muttering under her breath. Thankfully the train came before she had a chance to call the cops









I've also heard the "if they're old enough to ask for it" line about nursing when my son was a toddler. Sure, let's punish children for developing language skills early by withholding comfort and nutrition.


----------



## jake&zaxmom (May 12, 2004)

We chose not to give our boys fruit juice as infants (actually they've never drank juice)

My MIL (smugly) "Oh, you WILL give them juice because they won't be able to poop without it."


----------



## kirstenb (Oct 4, 2007)

I was at the grocery store with DS when he was 7 months old- he was sitting in the seat in the cart. He loved (and still does) riding in there. Some older woman followed me around telling me he was much too young to be sitting up in there! Um, he was sitting up well for over two months at that point- I'm pretty sure he wasn't too young!


----------



## amynbebes (Aug 28, 2008)

That I really needed to let my baby sleep in the bassinet so he wouldn't get attached to being held. ~ said by nurse in hospital when babe was 1 day old.


----------



## becoming (Apr 11, 2003)

My baby--and the rest of the population--would wind up DEAF (not dead, DEAF) without the CDC-recommended vaccination schedule. Yes, I'm sure he said DEAF. He went on and on about it. This was a doctor, a pediatrician, BTW.


----------



## GuildJenn (Jan 10, 2007)

"Don't turn him gay." "You'll turn him gay doing that!"

I wish I could say it were in jest.


----------



## closedaccount15 (Dec 25, 2007)

2 things:
one from my mom when DD was 2 months old. "Better not feed her so often or else she will be hanging off (your boob) until she is 2" I think it had been 3 hours since she last nursed. She is totally freaked out I am still breastfeeding her at 18 months.

And I was at the mall one day, and my DD sweats like no other baby or person I have ever seen, so she had a light jacket on and it was windy and raining. If I put anything heavier on her, she takes it off. DD was laughing at the wind, she loves the wind and rain, and she was still sweating. An older woman came up to me and told me I was going to make her sick and she needed gloves and heavy coat and hat on.


----------



## chirp (Feb 9, 2008)

At my baby shower, my step sister when she was told why we didn't ask for bottles.
"Hah! We'll see how long that lasts."








:


----------



## closedaccount15 (Dec 25, 2007)

ohoh - I have 2 more. I actually have had a lot of rude comments, or else I am super sensitive.

When I told my family I cloth diapered - they all told me "you'll change your mind, just don't even bother" um...18 months strong and still haven't stopped

And the best - I was in wal-mart, and my baby was a chubby chubster. This cashier said "great googily moggily, what are you feeding that child" So my husband in all his proudness said "breastmilk!"
And the cashier said "you need to stop that, she is getting too fat"

Mind you this woman was _obese_, and had no right to tell me my 4 month old was fat!


----------



## kirstenb (Oct 4, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lillymonster* 
When I told my family I cloth diapered - they all told me "you'll change your mind, just don't even bother" um...18 months strong and still haven't stopped

When I mentioned I wanted to CD when I was pregnant my family told me I was crazy and making too much work for myself. The stupid thing was I believed them and didn't do it for the first seven months because of what they said! I love using CDs now and wish I would have not paid attention to their comments.


----------



## butterfly_mommy (Oct 22, 2007)

Said to me by the nurse at the hospital the second day after my son was born as he was nursing and sleeping "Don't let him pacify at your breast or he will be there forever"

But the worst was said in the recovery room (I had a c-section under general














) and as I was coming to and my midwife was putting my son to my breast and he was crying the nurse in the recovery room says "He is a big baby, he needs a bottle, he's hungry" my midwife said "we will put him to the breast then" my mom said "No" and my DH said "no way" the nurse repeats "He is a big baby and needs a bottle" my midwife with voice raised "NO, there is no parental consent end of story" I am glad that my midwife was there and that nurse couldn't get her hands on DS.


----------



## onlyzombiecat (Aug 15, 2004)

"Just make her go to sleep."
"I don't understand why you choose to let her stay awake at night."


----------



## galincognito (Nov 23, 2007)

upon leaving the hospital with my 2 day old dd...

my husband had gone ahead to install the carseat back in the car since we needed to do a carseat test to ensure dd could go home (long story...) anyway, the nurse saw the carseat (britax roundabout) so she knew that it wasn't an infant carrier seat. when i was leaving the unit, she was all aghast that i was *gasp* CARRYING my baby. "where's the carseat? what if you drop her?" yeah, 'cause if i'm carrying her in a carseat there's no way she could possibly be dropped?!


----------



## minkajane (Jun 5, 2005)

Check out this thread. It is the ultimate resource for stupid advice and comments!


----------



## grniys (Aug 22, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jake&zaxmom* 
We chose not to give our boys fruit juice as infants (actually they've never drank juice)

My MIL (smugly) "Oh, you WILL give them juice because they won't be able to poop without it."









Oh! That reminds me of another one.

My aunt told me that I needed to give ds water as an infant because breast milk alone wasn't enough. Apparently, he would become dehydrated without bottles of water because my breast milk wasn't hydrating enough.


----------



## Lollybrat (Sep 18, 2008)

When my son was 2 and still not talking:

"Just don't give him anything to eat until he asks for it. That will make him talk."


----------



## mamadebug (Dec 28, 2006)

Don't let him nurse longer than 5 minutes on each side because then your milk will be out and the baby will just suck in air, which will then give him gas.

Like my boobs had air in them?!? I got this gem of information from our family doctor (we switched doctors pretty quickly).


----------



## whalemilk (Jul 11, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamadebug* 
Don't let him nurse longer than 5 minutes on each side because then your milk will be out and the baby will just suck in air, which will then give him gas.

Like my boobs had air in them?!? I got this gem of information from our family doctor (we switched doctors pretty quickly).









This one is cracking me up.

The worst I have received was from my husband's childless young (former) boss. With regard to our 2 month old crying inconsolably at night and how much it stressed and worried us because she had a heart problem and would have spells of cyanosis and tachypnea..."oh just let her cry it out, you can't treat her special her whole life just because she was born with a health problem." WTF.


----------



## PrennaMama (Oct 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PabloHoneySF* 
I was breastfeeding my son at the gym's daycare center before going to work out and the woman working there said "are you sure he's latched on right?".








:

umm, yeah

At least this person was a BF supporter!









I have had so many... from my own family usually, not so much from strangers... they have sense enough to avoid me!

My dad at dinner with us and the whole family, (12 people) when dd was 6 weeks old: I had her under a light-weight black shawl, very discreetly nursing her. Dad barks "Where's the baby??............ (GASP) OH!! She's under _there_ isn't she?? You're not doing that at hte table are you?? Ugh! Yuck! That really is not something you shoud do at the table..."
(everyone in the entire restaurant staring)
Me: "_YOU_ eat at the table, why shouldn't she?"

My mom, just the other day:
Dd happily bounces up and starts telling my mom how she got a booboo, but nursed and felt better... "Oh, Prenna. That's awful. (sounding disgusted) That's just for babies... you're almost 4, and still nursing in the middle of the day? Ugh! Are you a baby, then? I thought you were a big girl!"

Dd looked at her, and said, "I'm still mama's baby!.......and I love the num!" I was so pleased with her reply I said nothing.







Ha ha, Mom!


----------



## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GuildJenn* 
"Don't turn him gay." "You'll turn him gay doing that!"

I wish I could say it were in jest.

Wow, so... what is it your doing that will turn him gay so I can blame my dad for making me find happiness with another guy.


----------



## PrennaMama (Oct 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
Wow, so... what is it your doing that will turn him gay so I can blame my dad for making me find happiness with another guy.









laughup


----------



## cappuccinosmom (Dec 28, 2003)

--Said to me about my 2 month old first child "He is much to skinny. You need to start giving him cereal. When I had my kids, we had this special pump thing that you could force it down their throats with, I bet you could find one if you looked".

--There used to be a woman in our church who would seek us out and harrass us for lack of hats, socks, or blankets on the baby *in summer*.









--frequent comment I see in discussions: If you don't let your baby CIO and teach it to self-soothe at night, you will *never* get it out of your bed and you'll still be struggling to get a 5 yo to sleep through the night.
In spite of the fact that we semi-co-slept and I nursed on demant 24/7 through 18 months with them, my oldest two went into their own beds at 2 yo and I could count on one hand the times they've gotten out of thier beds to come to mine. They like thier bunk bed very much and have no interest in trying to squish into our very small double bed with two large grownups and a wiggly baby.


----------



## willthiswork (Mar 29, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *grniys* 
Oh! That reminds me of another one.

My aunt told me that I needed to give ds water as an infant because breast milk alone wasn't enough. Apparently, he would become dehydrated without bottles of water because my breast milk wasn't hydrating enough.









Ok, I've never told anyone they should give babies water.....but I thought you should!! Are you talking about tiny babies or ones older than say 6 months (random age chosen there!)


----------



## leighi123 (Nov 14, 2007)

'When are you going to switch to formula?' (my dad...ds was 7 months)

Sorry dad - he EBF (no solids) until a week before his 1st bday and still nurses all the time! (15months now)

My mom did tell him to shut it though


----------



## Veronika01 (Apr 16, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PrennaMama* 
Dd looked at her, and said, "I'm still mama's baby!.......and I love the num!" I was so pleased with her reply I said nothing.







Ha ha, Mom!


I love the num, that's priceless!!







:







:

Here's some of mine. I've been told with all three my children, right after birth, that I'm spoiling them for letting them sleep on my chest.

I live in South Africa and I've gotten this comment TWICE in the last 3 months or so. The first time I was buying colddrink at a cafe outside a shopping center. They ladies at the cafe asked me if I had two boys and one girl. I said no, one boy two girls. They said "I'm so sorry. Maybe next time you'll be lucky and have a boy again." The second time was the teller in the one store. While I was waiting for my dh to pay, she asked what the genders were. I said two girls, one boy. She said: "You cheated your husband. You must have one more so he can have another son." I told her that men determine the sex of the baby, not women. If my dh feels cheated, which he does not, he has only himself to blame. It's not my fault if he can't make boys.


----------



## Veronika01 (Apr 16, 2007)

Oh! Before I forget. My oldest walks on his toes. He's done it ever since he started walking, but not all the time. He'll walk normally at times and on his toes at times. My one friend insists that there's something wrong and I'm just not concerned enough, bless her heart. About two weeks ago she said: "So he's still doing that? Hmm. I read that it could be a sign of neurological problems." Ahh, bless her. She's really so concerned about it and I'm just... not.


----------



## Veronika01 (Apr 16, 2007)

Oh my goodness! These posts are making all the memories come flooding back.

My children have never had pacifiers, not one of them. One day my daughter was crying and everyone was frantically searching for her paci (at a Kindermusik class for my son). In the end they yelled Where's her paci?? I said she didn't have one. My one friend (an aupair for the one little boy) said: "That's so wrong! Babies NEED something to suck on! She needs a paci." Well, duh. Why do you think I'm hanging around. The same friend freaked out when I changed my daughter's diaper in front of her and I didn't have a vest on my daughter. I told her she doesn't need a vest, she was dripping with sweat in her long sleeved, footed onesie as it is. She said that babies need vests to keep their chests warm when you opened up the onesie.

Another friend told me that her ped told her that b'feeding for the first 3 months is all a baby needs, after 3 months it's done for the mother's benefit not the baby's. So I had no business b'feeding my 18 month old anymore. Haha, luckily some of us have the common sense not to believe everything our docs say, but to open a book or a site on the internet and learn for ourselves.


----------



## Mimi (Oct 8, 2008)

My fil told me that i don't do enough during the day with my dd because she was still wide awake at six o clock. We go to the playground & walks at the beach & in the forest for at least 3 hours a day, it's just NORMAL for a child to be awake at that time!

I also get the "you are ruining their life, they will have no friends!" comment about home/unschooling them. a lot.


----------



## pixiekisses (Oct 14, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lollybrat* 
When my son was 2 and still not talking:

"Just don't give him anything to eat until he asks for it. That will make him talk."

Oh my, I'm torn between laughing my ass of and almost crying.

I've never really had any comments re. what I'm doing/not doing with the kids. It's probably because family/friends know that I wouldn't give a damn because I decide with my kids. And no strangers ever did either.
Well, one exception, absolutely everybody seems to have an input on my SN-childs eating issues. I've heard alot of priceless things on that subject, nobody really has a clue.


----------



## Mimi (Oct 8, 2008)

oh and my grandmother asked me if there is something wrong with dd because she never cried. (she was maybe 3 weeks old?).
Apparently the midwife in her days told her that children need to cry AT LEAST 5 hours a day to "develope their lungs".
She was glad to hear that this is not the case! (she's a lovely woman, she just worries a lot.)

Also, my husbands grandmother does "not approve" of me carrying the baby in
"a bag around my neck".
I don't mind that,though, she's 90, things were different back then


----------



## Mommy2Austin (Oct 10, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *medicmama* 
I hear "when they are old enough to ask for it (nursing), then its time to stop!. I have herd that twice in the past 3 days.







:

What makes me laugh about that is people are still leaving that open for a lengthy time. My 2 yo didn't start talking until almost 2 years old. And funnier still is they've been asking since birth. What do they think crying is for?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *frontierpsych* 
Guy at the corner store: "You need to put a hat on him, babies catch all kinds of diseases through their heads"

Me: "Thanks doc"



















Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamadebug* 
Don't let him nurse longer than 5 minutes on each side because then your milk will be out and the baby will just suck in air, which will then give him gas.

Like my boobs had air in them?!? I got this gem of information from our family doctor (we switched doctors pretty quickly).

Someone around here (I think) had someone tell them not to let the baby burp at the breast because it would push air in and then she'd have to go to the doctor to get them deflated.....it surprises me how little people know about the body they're in!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cappuccinosmom* 
--Said to me about my 2 month old first child "He is much to skinny. You need to start giving him cereal. When I had my kids, we had this special pump thing that you could force it down their throats with, I bet you could find one if you looked".


That is completely terrifying to think about


----------



## mouthcave (Oct 9, 2008)

Oh, the hat comments! And all the comments about him being too hot/too cold! And the pacifier obsession some family members had! Let's not even get into circumcision advice, haha.
The day my son and I got home from the hospital, my MIL called to tell us she would be OK (uh huh) if I decided to give up breastfeeding since I was having such a tough time and surely my frustration would be getting to my son. This was mostly irritating on the _so you think you're in charge or have any say in this decision?_ level.
Also, SO MANY people gave advice about being careful with our cats and our son. I don't even know what they thought we were going to do! Let the cats babysit him while we ran to the store? And yes, one person did mention the cats sucking the breath out of him, oh my goodness.


----------



## kirstenb (Oct 4, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mommy2Austin* 
Someone around here (I think) had someone tell them not to let the baby burp at the breast because it would push air in and then she'd have to go to the doctor to get them deflated.....it surprises me how little people know about the body they're in!











If only it were that easy to get them to grow!


----------



## grniys (Aug 22, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *willthiswork* 
Ok, I've never told anyone they should give babies water.....but I thought you should!! Are you talking about tiny babies or ones older than say 6 months (random age chosen there!)

We're talking just out of the hospital tiny baby. Like, days old! Once he was older (maybe more than 6 months? 8 months? Something like that) I started giving sippy's of water occasionally so he'd get used to it. But no, I was told I should from day one.


----------



## aja-belly (Oct 7, 2004)

remembering when my oldest was a newborn - we went to visit my grandmother and her sister and they kept saying we held him too much and he was gonna get sore from it.

i had an oversupply and would do block feedings on each side for several hours to try to help him get hindmilk. soooo many people (friends, family, random strangers) would scold me for not switching breasts during a feeding or from one feeding to the next. so bizzarre. even people that know very little about breastfeeding at all KNOW you HAVE to switch sides after 15 minutes (or at each feeding, or 10 minutes or whatever their opinion was).


----------



## robin1377 (May 26, 2005)

My daughter self soothes by sucking on her two fingers. Always has since the womb and still does at 5 when she's tired or upset. When she was around 6 months old I was on the bus with her and she was almost asleep in the sling, happily sucking away and an elderly woman physically pulled her fingers out of her mouth and shook her finger at me as if to shame me. I was LIVID!


----------



## MaterPrimaePuellae (Oct 30, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Veronika01* 
Oh! Before I forget. My oldest walks on his toes. He's done it ever since he started walking, but not all the time. He'll walk normally at times and on his toes at times. My one friend insists that there's something wrong and I'm just not concerned enough, bless her heart. About two weeks ago she said: "So he's still doing that? Hmm. I read that it could be a sign of neurological problems." Ahh, bless her. She's really so concerned about it and I'm just... not.









I was going to post something like this! I was in the store the other day; my DD is 19 mos, and she has never been a toe-walker; she only recently discovered it as a cool new thing, and she only does it when she wants to see something high. Sensible, right?
Anyway, a stranger looks her up and down, smiles weirdly, and say sharply, "GET OFF THOSE TOES!" DD looked back at me like, "Huh?" The lady didn't really even acknowledge my presence.


----------



## Amys1st (Mar 18, 2003)

We were told to feed her cereal at a very young age, in fact one DH's patients gave us a special bottle that you were supposed to load up w formula and cereal (HUH??) so "they will sleep better". DH politely accepted the gift, brought it home and threw it out. I wish we took a picture of it to post, it was a weird bottle.


----------



## AutumnAir (Jun 10, 2008)

These are great!
I got the 'you have to give her water' thing too - a whole 4 oz bottle of water they wanted me to make my brand-new DD drink..!
Now that it's getting a bit colder I'm having lots of problems with the shoes and socks. DD hates anything on her feet and will consistently pull her shoes and socks off in triumph. I get fed up of putting them back on after a while and just let her go without, but I've been stopped by so many old ladies who look aghast that she doesn't have shoes and socks on. I just end up taking them out of my pocket and waving them around ( I don't speak the langauge) .
Oh, and of course the pediatrician told me that my milk would turn to water after 6 weeks. 6 WEEKS? So she got to be 18 lb at 6 months on almost all water then?


----------



## diamond lil (Oct 6, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mommy2Austin* 
Someone around here (I think) had someone tell them not to let the baby burp at the breast because it would push air in and then she'd have to go to the doctor to get them deflated.....it surprises me how little people know about the body they're in!

I think this is the most fantastically stupid thing I have heard of in my life. Just think of the money plastic surgeons would lose if it was true.


----------



## mytwogirls (Jan 3, 2008)

I don't allow my children to have sugar, processed foods or junk or fast food, EVER. My grandma, in front of our family doctor, said "Please tell my granddaughter she has to feed those kids sugar or else they will die!" I almost fainted. The doctor just laughed.


----------



## mytwogirls (Jan 3, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Amys1st* 
We were told to feed her cereal at a very young age, in fact one DH's patients gave us a special bottle that you were supposed to load up w formula and cereal (HUH??) so "they will sleep better". DH politely accepted the gift, brought it home and threw it out. I wish we took a picture of it to post, it was a weird bottle.

Oh gosh I got one of those too. Mine was squishy so you could pour cereal in it







I let the dogs chew on it outside.


----------



## ChetMC (Aug 27, 2005)

We haven't gotten a lot random criticism or unsolicited advice. Once a guy yelled out of a car window, "why don't you put a coat on that kid." Our oldest was about 18 months old, didn't want to wear a coat and was more than capable of asking for her coat if she changed her mind.

I generally don't believe in "come backs" though. I don't want to model confrontation behaviour like that. I'm all for modeling conflict resolution, but if somebody is opinionated enough to shout out of a car window, or to pull a baby's hand out of their mouth they aren't going to be convinced by anything I say during our brief encounter.

I could come back with something clever and smart-asssed, but then I'm not just a "bad parent" I'm a "bad parent" with an attitude. I figure that my best chance to forward my cause is to not sink to their level... to actually try to educate people in a friendly way if I can, to be civil if that's the best I can manage, or to ignore them that's all I've can do.


----------



## Mommy2Austin (Oct 10, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *diamond lil* 
I think this is the most fantastically stupid thing I have heard of in my life. Just think of the money plastic surgeons would lose if it was true.

If it were true I suspect breastfeeding wouldn't be as "taboo" and problematic for people in general!


----------



## Vancouver Mommy (Aug 15, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *robin1377* 
My daughter self soothes by sucking on her two fingers. Always has since the womb and still does at 5 when she's tired or upset. When she was around 6 months old I was on the bus with her and she was almost asleep in the sling, happily sucking away and an elderly woman physically pulled her fingers out of her mouth and shook her finger at me as if to shame me. I was LIVID!

That happened to me too. Everybody seemed very concerned that ds was a finger sucker. FWIW he stopped as soon as he got his first tooth.


----------



## Vancouver Mommy (Aug 15, 2007)

I used to get all kinds of advice and comments when I had my first (and believe me, I do not have a "please tell me what you think I'm doing wrong" kind of demeanour). I used to joke that dp could walk through a blizzard carrying a naked baby by the leg and all people would say is "aww, isn't that nice that the dad is spending some time with the baby".


----------



## whalemilk (Jul 11, 2008)

The drive-by "put on a coat" thing reminded me of another one. We were out for a walk with my 2 yo wearing her dog backpack (where the "tail" loops around a parent's hand). She was holding daddy's hand, but he also had the backpack on her because we were walking by a busy road and she has a tendency to bolt. Some young guy, maybe 21, really sleezy looking, pulls up along side us on his bike and starts yelling at us. "OH REAL NICE. THAT SHOULD BE *bleep* ILLEGAL. You freaks! She's a PERSON! Not an ANIMAL!"

I'm just thinking "would that I could say the same for some other individuals in this conversation."







:

He was actually scary. I had my husband pick up the toddler and we rushed home, because he would not leave us alone. How weird that in his addled state he chose to focus on how we weren't egalitarian enough parents for his tastes.







:


----------



## Murihiku (Oct 2, 2008)

I was co-hosting a baby shower and a childless friend was holding my ten-week old so I could eat from the buffet. As I was finishing I saw another guest holding her six-month-old and I said "Would you like me to hold your baby so you could eat?" She gave me this offended look and said "No, I'll hold her. She's MY baby."

It's not like I was coveting her baby when I had my own right there!


----------



## Porcelain Interior (Feb 8, 2008)

I had a couple people tell me the most spastic thing I think I've ever heard:

"You need to keep your daughter's hair cut short so she'll have thick hair."

Um yeah....that's all predetermined people. Haircuts don't do anything to your hair, it won't grow faster, turn color or get thicker. *If you have really raggedy ends it might look thicker, but it's not any thicker.

I got a lot of "Give her a bottle or else if you die she'll starve" "Give her a bottle or else you'll never be able to leave her with anyone" Etc etc. Neither of my kids ever had bottles, and I had no need to train them to a bottle so...

Blowing smoke in their ears if they hurt....that's a big old wives tale. It's the warm air not the smoke that feels so good.

Not enforcing handwashing as a way to build immunity. I get this, but after using the bathroom? Come on...










And the good ol' "You shouldn't let her sleep in your bed you'll never get her out." My oldest left the bed voluntarily around 4-5. Of course we still slept in the same room and this is my quietest best behaved child.

"If you don't set her down she'll never learn to walk." This was in reference to my oldest who actually did walk late lol, and I did hold her all the time, and she never even cried, I just held her because it felt right.


----------



## lifeguard (May 12, 2008)

The cutting hair thing I think is very cultural. Here in Costa Rica it is VERY common for people to have their babies hair shaved once or twice during their first couple of years in an attempt to thicken it. Apparently it is also done in India - although that is also done as part of a ceremony.


----------



## SAHDS (Mar 28, 2008)

I've been told that my son has so many problems because of the way I feed him. Yeah, he had hip dysplasia, Dyspraxia and Meningitis because I don't give him junk food and soda, but chose to BF and grow his own foods.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *robin1377*
My daughter self soothes by sucking on her two fingers. Always has since the womb and still does at 5 when she's tired or upset. When she was around 6 months old I was on the bus with her and she was almost asleep in the sling, happily sucking away and an elderly woman physically pulled her fingers out of her mouth and shook her finger at me as if to shame me. I was LIVID!

Just reading this is raising the hair on my neck. I CANNOT believe someone had the audacity to touch your child. I might have slapped their hand. Self-defense, right? I am absolutely stunned.


----------



## ricemom3 (Jan 29, 2008)

I didn't think I had anything, until I read the hair thing. It reminded me of what my MIL told me when ds#1 (our first child) was born. She said that when we wash his hair we should scrunch it so it will be curly. She did that to DH when he was a baby and look he has curly hair. Um, right, what about his sister who has stick straight hair? DH and I still laugh about that. He did try to explain to her that that was genetic..she didn't get it.








Of course, this is the woman that got upset and complained (about how rude I was) to dh when she tried to give ds#1 (at the age of 21 mos) chocolate, and I said no.


----------



## CC_muffin (Oct 16, 2008)

I'm getting it already and I'm not even a mama yet!!

I was in the car with several female members of my family, one aunt who happens to be a foster mom. She was telling a story about one of her kids and said something along the lines of "well good luck getting a two year old circumcised, that was awful!" To which I said, why would you bother?? Apparently, he was never circ'd to begin with but his foreskin was growing over his penis so it had to be removed so he could pee.







: I said I thought was was likely a load of baloney, and they then started telling me how common it is and how you have to circ or make sure to push the foreskin back at every diaper change to prevent it. None of those ladies will be chaning my boys someday, that's for sure!

Another time, I was talking with my grandma and mentioned that I think it's annoying that baby dolls come with bottles, and made a joke about how my kids wouldn't know what is was really for anyway cause I don't plan to feed babies that way in my house. She got a horrified and very serious look on her face and told me I had to feed them sugar water and juice because it helps them grow and it is very good for them.


----------



## AutumnAir (Jun 10, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Porcelain Interior* 
I had a couple people tell me the most spastic thing I think I've ever heard:

"You need to keep your daughter's hair cut short so she'll have thick hair."

Unfortunately my parents fell for this one. I have really fine red hair (as does my poor DD!) and they kept it really short until I was 7 years old. I had to make my communion in a little white frilly dress with boy-short hair. I even over-heard a couple of old ladies commenting about why a boy was allowed to wear a dress! It was after that that I begged my parents to let me grow my hair long and they finally gave in.

Just thought of another one. My DD's always been very active and hitting the motor skills milestones very early. When my ped saw her pulling up to stand at 4-5 months she told me 'You have to stop that! You can't let her be so active or she'll walk too early and then her brain won't develop properly'








I mean, how am I supposed to stop her from being active? Short of tying her up? And early walking causes brain underdevelopment? Coming from a doctor?!!!
WOW







:


----------



## MCR (Nov 20, 2001)

From a woman getting off the bus after a 10 minute ride where my Dd age three had talked about what she could see and what letter everything started with.
"That child is going to need speech therapy" Right in my face







:
She speaks very well for her age, made a few incorrect sentences, but who cares, she's three







:


----------



## holothuroidea (Mar 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Vancouver Mommy* 
I used to joke that dp could walk through a blizzard carrying a naked baby by the leg and all people would say is "aww, isn't that nice that the dad is spending some time with the baby".

No KIDDING!







:







It's just so true

This isn't very entertaining, but my mom tells me that I need to eat dairy (DD is dairy allergic and EBF) or she'll never be able to drink milk and it will be hard for her to grow. I said I wasn't, so she started to try to feed her ice cream. !!!!! She's only 2 months old.


----------



## MaxMommy (Feb 16, 2007)

From MIL, when ds was 4 mos, he woke from a nap and I went to him before he cried. "Let him cry before you go to him, it's good for him to cry"

From my father's wife at the same time, on the same visit, in similar circumstances "he's training you, you know, He'll never sleep on his own if you go to him for every wimper"

From my neice, who's son is 2 years older than mine, "whatever you do, DON"T let him sleep with you! You'll never get him out of your bed.

After way too many times of being asked if ds sleeps through the night and way too much crazy sleep advice when I replied no, I started lying and saying that he did sleep through. (he quit night nursing at 3, that's when the sleeping through started) The sleep questions started when he was 1 month. I don't understand why people need to know that, and why every one is a sleep expert.


----------



## Mommy2Austin (Oct 10, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MaxMommy* 

From my neice, who's son is 2 years older than mine, "whatever you do, DON"T let him sleep with you! You'll never get him out of your bed.


What makes me laugh about people who say that is I wonder exactly how many of them actually slept with their child and never got them out....hmmmm I can't imagine my son someday grown and married telling his wife "Goodnight hunny I'm going to sleep in my mom's bed" lol


----------



## cherimoya (Mar 23, 2008)

Hard to pin it down to just one! Here are some...my reaction to these is usually just smile and say something about how wonderful my kids are....

"You are STILL breastfeeding him/her?" (Yes, recently got this again with my 10mo dd!)
"If you rock her in your arms to sleep you are going to spoil her"
"It is SOOOOO COLD, really it is SOOOO COLD! Does she have enough clothes on?"
"At this age she needs Vit D & iron supplementation, bfing is not enough!" (bite me!)


----------



## lindberg99 (Apr 23, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mommy2Austin* 
What makes me laugh about people who say that is I wonder exactly how many of them actually slept with their child and never got them out....hmmmm I can't imagine my son someday grown and married telling his wife "Goodnight hunny I'm going to sleep in my mom's bed" lol

I've found the people who tell you the "horror" stories about children never leaving the family bed never let their kids actually sleep with them. But there's always some relative of a friend of a friend who has a kid who is still sleeping with when he's 30 or whatever.


----------



## ma_vie_en_rose (Jun 7, 2008)

My mom is the one that is so paranoid about germs. In particular, the cold weather making the kids sick. I live in Houston where it is mild in the winter. I rarely put heavy coats on the kids to take them to the heated car. It is entirely too warm to wear a coat in the car. So, I always toss a blanket around them as I take them out. No big deal. She swears I am killing them, though. She also goes on and on about how I have to disinfect the entire house with Lysol at something as minor as a sneeze.

My dad also freaked out when DD1 started walking two weeks after she started crawling. He was concerned she would have developmental issues and would never learn to read. My dad was a spec. ed. teacher years and years ago when that was the thinking.

Some random ones...
-Don't let DD stand too early or she will be bow legged. Yes, that is precisely what happened to me.

-It is selfish to only BF babies because I am refusing to let DH bond with our children.

-There is no way a baby will ever sleep through the night without formula.


----------



## Elijahs Momma (Dec 12, 2007)

This one has only come up recently since I'm noticeably pregnant:

"You shouldn't be carrying him!" or "You're not still carrying him in that THING are you" (referring to my sling)

And what, exactly, am I suppose to do? Never hold him again? Oy!

Oh! and this takes the cake: "You shouldn't be carrying him b/c it's not good for your womanly parts"
From my mother when I was a few weeks pregnant and carrying ds in a sling.

I swear, these people must think I'm just going to break into pieces if I keep carrying my 30lb son.


----------



## Marsupialmom (Sep 28, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Veronika01* 
Oh! Before I forget. My oldest walks on his toes. He's done it ever since he started walking, but not all the time. He'll walk normally at times and on his toes at times. My one friend insists that there's something wrong and I'm just not concerned enough, bless her heart. About two weeks ago she said: "So he's still doing that? Hmm. I read that it could be a sign of neurological problems." Ahh, bless her. She's really so concerned about it and I'm just... not.









See from a friend it would make me think and look for other signs.........but then again I have seen some pretty bad situations were if they only listen to the "friend" the child would be better off. I have been in situations were parents were in denial and the child, well entire family, suffered.


----------



## merrybee (May 18, 2002)

While changing my daughter- diaper open, floral dress with crinoline on, pink bow (albeit almost bald) - stranger inquires "How old is your son?"


----------



## cherimoya (Mar 23, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *merrybee* 
While changing my daughter- diaper open, floral dress with crinoline on, pink bow (albeit almost bald) - stranger inquires "How old is your son?"

laughup


----------



## Deer Hunter (Sep 26, 2008)

Johannes throws a plethora of tantrums. He cries often because he is sick a lot. He is a control freak. He is explosive and very strong willed. And, he is violent when his way is not given to him. Not to mention, he swears often. (He hears it from people on the bus and at bus stops. I don't do it.) I've been told that he is a spoiled brat and needs a good old-fashioned beating. He needs his will broken and needs to be made straighten up. Sorry, I'm NOT doing that! Over my dead body. Oh, and about the sleeping thing, i get it, too. People criticize me saying to me that it is totally inappropriate. And because he is not biologically mine, they say it is worse, as it could be viewed as sexual abuse. PFFFFFFFFF!


----------



## Deer Hunter (Sep 26, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *whalemilk* 







This one is cracking me up.

The worst I have received was from my husband's childless young (former) boss. With regard to our 2 month old crying inconsolably at night and how much it stressed and worried us because she had a heart problem and would have spells of cyanosis and tachypnea..."oh just let her cry it out, you can't treat her special her whole life just because she was born with a health problem." WTF.










OMG! That is so crazy. i'm so glad you did not listen to her. Taking that advice would have killed your baby.

Johannes has severe asthma, if he gets too worked up from crying badly, he goes into asthma attacks. I try not to let him get too upset because I'm terrified of respiratory arrest.


----------



## Deer Hunter (Sep 26, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ChetMC* 
We haven't gotten a lot random criticism or unsolicited advice. Once a guy yelled out of a car window, "why don't you put a coat on that kid." Our oldest was about 18 months old, didn't want to wear a coat and was more than capable of asking for her coat if she changed her mind.

I generally don't believe in "come backs" though. I don't want to model confrontation behaviour like that. I'm all for modeling conflict resolution, but if somebody is opinionated enough to shout out of a car window, or to pull a baby's hand out of their mouth they aren't going to be convinced by anything I say during our brief encounter.

I could come back with something clever and smart-asssed, but then I'm not just a "bad parent" I'm a "bad parent" with an attitude. I figure that my best chance to forward my cause is to not sink to their level... to actually try to educate people in a friendly way if I can, to be civil if that's the best I can manage, or to ignore them that's all I've can do.


I can learn a thing or two from you. Always had a smart mouth though I'm not proud of that.


----------



## ma_vie_en_rose (Jun 7, 2008)

Oh, I totally forgot this one.

When people see me nursing my children while pregnant, I get the endless comments of "Oh, that is going to cause you to miscarry." or "Your baby isn't going to get enough nutrients unless you wean." or "You better wean her now or you will be in real trouble when the baby comes."

I love how everyone with no clue what they are talking about feel the need to tell me what to do.


----------



## Veronika01 (Apr 16, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Marsupialmom* 
See from a friend it would make me think and look for other signs.........but then again I have seen some pretty bad situations were if they only listen to the "friend" the child would be better off. I have been in situations were parents were in denial and the child, well entire family, suffered.

If my son showed any other signs of neurological disorders or something like sensory integration disorder I would be worried. Just because it bothers someone else doesn't give me reason to worry. I'm not in denial about anything.


----------



## AllisonR (May 5, 2006)

My dad's comment, regarding my homebirth, "Now your going to die, or the baby will die, and I will have to bury you too."

Nice, eh? Hence my tagline.

Regarding just plain, stupid advice, luckily people here do not generally make any remarks about other people's parenting, and in fact are overwhelmingly positive, with a live and let live attitude. I only had one bad experience, with a young girl working in H&M. She told me I was not allowed to breast feed my 10mo DD (in the baby and maternity departments no less), because "some of the customers might find it offensive."







I refused to move, but I was so shocked that afterwards I wrote a letter to the store. They apologized.


----------



## broodymama (May 3, 2004)

From a doc earlier this week: "She needs to learn it's not all about her."

Well, she's two months old, so yeah it pretty much _is_ all about her. And my baby sleeping peacefully in the sling doesn't affect my appointment with him at all, since it was just a quick consult in his office.


----------



## stormborn (Dec 8, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *merrybee* 
While changing my daughter- diaper open, floral dress with crinoline on, pink bow (albeit almost bald) - stranger inquires "How old is your son?"

I had dd in the yard lying in her stroller buck naked and a lady asked "boy or girl?"


----------



## Irishmommy (Nov 19, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Veronika01* 
Oh! Before I forget. My oldest walks on his toes. He's done it ever since he started walking, but not all the time. He'll walk normally at times and on his toes at times. My one friend insists that there's something wrong and I'm just not concerned enough, bless her heart. About two weeks ago she said: "So he's still doing that? Hmm. I read that it could be a sign of neurological problems." Ahh, bless her. She's really so concerned about it and I'm just... not.









I haven't read beyond, but toe walking can shorten the tendons at the back, making it harder to put the heel down. It's really not something to ignore.


----------



## Mandynee22 (Nov 20, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lindberg99* 
I've found the people who tell you the "horror" stories about children never leaving the family bed never let their kids actually sleep with them. But there's always some relative of a friend of a friend who has a kid who is still sleeping with when he's 30 or whatever.


I get this from someone I know. Her kids actually did still sleep with them at 13 and 10. I think it's because they kept trying to force them out instead of letting it just happen though.


----------



## ashleyhaugh (Jun 23, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *merrybee* 
While changing my daughter- diaper open, floral dress with crinoline on, pink bow (albeit almost bald) - stranger inquires "How old is your son?"

this happened to my sister with my nephew (not her kid, my dh's brothers kid) we were out to lunch, she went to change him, and while he was diaperless on the changing table some lady told her what a beautiful little girl he was


----------



## octobermom (Aug 31, 2005)

My biggest is
I'd never ALLOW my child to act that way...
Geez really well please tell me you secret then because if you can figure out how to prevent every whine every no I wont every mommy can I can I Can I PLEEEASSEE then well you are a genius... and BTW smacking them for these things isn't not allowing its jsut reacting to it in as much inmaturty as the 3 year old having the tantrumm except they are well 3....

Deanna


----------



## ProtoLawyer (Apr 16, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Red Sonja* 
From a doc earlier this week: "She needs to learn it's not all about her."

Well, she's two months old, so yeah it pretty much _is_ all about her. And my baby sleeping peacefully in the sling doesn't affect my appointment with him at all, since it was just a quick consult in his office.

We got this when my SD was two, and we asked my partner's stepmother if she could please move the party from the kitchen (adjacent to the guest room) into the rec room (one room over, with a view of the lake and a pool table), so we could get SD to sleep.

(About 30 seconds too late, I realized I could have said "yeah, that's a lesson many adults don't even know" and gotten away with it.)

My partner got a lot of comments about biking with SD in the trailer. "That's just a disaster waiting to happen."


----------



## Deer Hunter (Sep 26, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *octobermom* 
My biggest is
I'd never ALLOW my child to act that way...
Geez really well please tell me you secret then because if you can figure out how to prevent every whine every no I wont every mommy can I can I Can I PLEEEASSEE then well you are a genius... and BTW smacking them for these things isn't not allowing its jsut reacting to it in as much inmaturty as the 3 year old having the tantrumm except they are well 3....

Deanna


I agree. I do NOT smack Johannes for acting out. That is why I posted that as part of the annoying advice in this thread. Isn't that what the OP asked for? Well, being told to smack a child is, quite frankly, very annoying, hence the reason for me even posting that at all. It isn't right to do.

You say you WOULDN't let your child act like mine does. Can you please tell me what YOU'D do? I'm not being snarky, I'm asking. I did, at one point ask for more tips on gentle discipline, and I've been applying everything I've learned. It helps somewhat, but he is still him, which doesn't mean I'm going to stop GD, as it is a much better approach. I've never hit him, and I've never disciplined for tantrums, as he should be allowed to express himself. But, I did have an old-fashioned outlook on parenting, as that is how I was raised. I honestly feel GD is much better. But, what would you suggest. Telling him "No" just pisses him off more. He'll scream curses and the like and become extremely violent--hair pulling, hitting, and throwing things to name a few. No consequences work. I find that most of the time, redirecting is helpful for now, as that is how I try to ease him away from doing things. I rarely say "no" now. I try to be creative in achieving what he needs to do but without pissing him off. You may ask how do I deal with it currently? My very very very strong faith in Jehovah God. With faith, people can tollerate way beyond the normal threshold, and I can tollerate quite a bit considering all I've been through in life. I have tons and tons of patience. Not too much makes me mad except the abuse of another person or taking advantage of the weak. Oh yes, I forgot, I don't have too much pity for stupidity.

To answer your other question, no, I cannot prevent every whine. I can't even prevent him from yelling and screaming at times, which is why I keep the inhaler on hand in case it is too much for him. (This is no exhageration, either. Just do some research on children who have heart conditions and severe health issues that could be made worse by becoming worked up. This happens with children with severe asthma also, such as Johannes.) I DO, however, do all that I can to make sure he doesn't cry to the point that he gets worked up. And I never claimed to stop EVERY SINGLE whine. If you reread my post, you'd see that I said that I TRIED. When someone says they have TRIED, it doesn't imply that they are successful one hundred percent of the time. Does that make since? Sorry I wasn't clear enough. Oh, how I WISH I could prevent EVERY whine. Everyone mom does. But then, he is only a tot, and that is appropriate. I just hate seeing him upset, which is why I wish I could stop it.

IF you'd like to talk so we can exchange ideas, perhaps, we should take it to private messaging. I don't want to derail this thread. If you REALLY DO have something constructive that will work, I'm willing to hear it. And, I can tell you what I'm doing currently, and maybe you could offer some feedback. Talk to ya soon.


----------



## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *willthiswork* 
Ok, I've never told anyone they should give babies water.....but I thought you should!! Are you talking about tiny babies or ones older than say 6 months (random age chosen there!)

Older babies past 6 months can be given water to practice with drinking out of a cup but giving water to an infant can cause problems with their enzyms (if that is the right word) so water should only be given in formula not by itself that young.


----------



## Jemmind (Nov 13, 2007)

Deer Hunter,
I'm a little confused by your post, I don't see at all where Octobermom is accusing you of smacking your child or anything like that. It seems to me as if she's saying that the most annoying comment she's had is when she is told by someone that they wouldn't allow their kid to act that way. And then the next part would be the sarcastic question that goes through her head when people say something like that..I don't see how she was addressing you specifically at all. Unless there is some back conversation that i am not aware of?


----------



## minkajane (Jun 5, 2005)

DeerHunter, she wasn't saying that she wouldn't allow her child to act the way your child acts. She's saying that the most annoying comment she hears is "I'll never allow my child to act that way," which is usually said when a childless person sees a "questionable" action in a young child. Chill, sweetie, she's not attacking you.


----------



## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Deer Hunter* 
I agree. I do NOT smack Johannes for acting out. That is why I posted that as part of the annoying advice in this thread. Isn't that what the OP asked for? Well, being told to smack a child is, quite frankly, very annoying, hence the reason for me even posting that at all. It isn't right to do.

You say you WOULDN't let your child act like mine does. Can you please tell me what YOU'D do? I'm not being snarky, I'm asking. I did, at one point ask for more tips on gentle discipline, and I've been applying everything I've learned. It helps somewhat, but he is still him, which doesn't mean I'm going to stop GD, as it is a much better approach. I've never hit him, and I've never disciplined for tantrums, as he should be allowed to express himself. But, I did have an old-fashioned outlook on parenting, as that is how I was raised. I honestly feel GD is much better. But, what would you suggest. Telling him "No" just pisses him off more. He'll scream curses and the like and become extremely violent--hair pulling, hitting, and throwing things to name a few. No consequences work. I find that most of the time, redirecting is helpful for now, as that is how I try to ease him away from doing things. I rarely say "no" now. I try to be creative in achieving what he needs to do but without pissing him off. You may ask how do I deal with it currently? My very very very strong faith in Jehovah God. With faith, people can tollerate way beyond the normal threshold, and I can tollerate quite a bit considering all I've been through in life. I have tons and tons of patience. Not too much makes me mad except the abuse of another person or taking advantage of the weak. Oh yes, I forgot, I don't have too much pity for stupidity.

To answer your other question, no, I cannot prevent every whine. I can't even prevent him from yelling and screaming at times, which is why I keep the inhaler on hand in case it is too much for him. (This is no exhageration, either. Just do some research on children who have heart conditions and severe health issues that could be made worse by becoming worked up. This happens with children with severe asthma also, such as Johannes.) I DO, however, do all that I can to make sure he doesn't cry to the point that he gets worked up. And I never claimed to stop EVERY SINGLE whine. If you reread my post, you'd see that I said that I TRIED. When someone says they have TRIED, it doesn't imply that they are successful one hundred percent of the time. Does that make since? Sorry I wasn't clear enough. Oh, how I WISH I could prevent EVERY whine. Everyone mom does. But then, he is only a tot, and that is appropriate. I just hate seeing him upset, which is why I wish I could stop it.

IF you'd like to talk so we can exchange ideas, perhaps, we should take it to private messaging. I don't want to derail this thread. If you REALLY DO have something constructive that will work, I'm willing to hear it. And, I can tell you what I'm doing currently, and maybe you could offer some feedback. Talk to ya soon.

A bit confused here







when she said

Quote:

Originally Posted by octobermom
My biggest is
I'd never ALLOW my child to act that way...
Geez really well please tell me you secret then because if you can figure out how to prevent every whine every no I wont every mommy can I can I Can I PLEEEASSEE then well you are a genius... and BTW smacking them for these things isn't not allowing its jsut reacting to it in as much inmaturty as the 3 year old having the tantrumm except they are well 3....

Deanna
I dont think she was talking about you I understood it to mean the thing that bugged her the most was when that was said to her. Forgive me if I am totally out in left field and I am the one who misunderstood.


----------



## maygee (Dec 22, 2006)

This isn't so much specific advice, but I hate when people without kids read a book or an article and think they know the best way to raise your child. Obviously, if you haven't been there you just don't know, even if you think you do. All the research in the world doesn't prepare you for being a parent.


----------



## _betsy_ (Jun 29, 2004)

DD was a day old, and my FIL came to visit. He told me "She's had enough of *that* by now (meaning BFing), you should switch to formula." She wasn't even 24 hours old, and she hadn't even HAD any of *that* yet - my milk didn't even come in for 4 more days!

Lots of worry about the cats killing the baby. She's 2, we should be far more worried about DD killing the cats!

I'm 6 months PG, and people seem to think I shouldn't be carrying 5 pounds worth of whatever - never mind the 30 pound toddler I tote around all day, no one's worried about that!

My mother insists you have to drink milk to make milk. And no, other dairy sources don't count at all, according to her.

I just got the "Gee, isn't she cold?" from a stranger - I was in short sleeves and comfortable, so DD (2 years old and perfectly capable of telling if she's cold) in a long sleeve thermal shirt was fine.

Got a lot of "Have to show 'em who's boss" type comments early on regarding sleep. Uh, no, she's a nursling and she's a crappy sleeper. I wouldn't WANT her sleeping 10+ hours at night at 2 weeks old, thanks! (And yes, people started asking at 2 weeks old if she slept through the night.







) I always ask "Do *you* sleep 8 hours straight through?" No one does!

Up until about 9 months, DD, dressed head to toe in pink, would be mistaken for a boy.

From several in DH's family during my first PG "May your first child be a boy child" Uh, and what's wrong with girls, exactly? Cause, I'm female, and I have just as much value as a male, thanks!

Since DD was indeed a girl, I'm now getting "Maybe this time, your DH will get a boy!" Uhm, well, it's a girl, and DH is THRILLED with that, thanks.


----------



## _betsy_ (Jun 29, 2004)

Deer Hunter, seriously, NO ONE said anything in this thread about your child. She happened to be the next poster in the thread and said that the one peice of "advice" that comes to her is other people telling her they "wouldn't allow their child to behave" in whatever way HER child was behaving.

Really. It wasn't posted in reference to you or your child.


----------



## Deer Hunter (Sep 26, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
DeerHunter, she wasn't saying that she wouldn't allow her child to act the way your child acts. She's saying that the most annoying comment she hears is "I'll never allow my child to act that way," which is usually said when a childless person sees a "questionable" action in a young child. Chill, sweetie, she's not attacking you.


I'm so sorry. It just seemed to fit. Here is why:

I mentioned that my child can act crazy. She said, "I wouldn't allow my child to act that way."

I mentioned that I don't spank. She mentioned that also.

I mentioned that I try to stop him, as much as possible, from crying to the point of getting worked up, which is not always successful by the way. And, she said something to the effect that a child's every whine could not be stopped, and if that were possible, she'd like to know the secret.

This is why I felt it was targeted to me. Of course, I could have taken it the wrong way, too.


----------



## octobermom (Aug 31, 2005)

Quote:

Sorry. I've probably went over the top. I looked at the post, and it was in fact about my child.
No it wasn't







Atually I hadn't even read the responses when I said what I did I just read the title and the OP and answered.
I was only refering to MY relationship with MY child. That I hate it when My child may be acting up she may be over tired and therefore tantruming or refusing to try broccoli because its green or what ever totally normal kid things. I hate it when someone tells me how THEY wouldn't allow THEIR kid to scream or whine ect.. THey act like I think its fine and dandy like I'm telling her hey honey when your tired its perfectly fine to bite me and throw your self on the floor they act like if I just said No it would stop.








Does that make sense? Again it really truly had zero to do with what you posted.

Deanna


----------



## Deer Hunter (Sep 26, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *octobermom* 
No it wasn't







Atually I hadn't even read the responses when I said what I did I just read the title and the OP and answered.
I was only refering to MY relationship with MY child. That I hate it when My child may be acting up she may be over tired and therefore tantruming or refusing to try broccoli because its green or what ever totally normal kid things. I hate it when someone tells me how THEY wouldn't allow THEIR kid to scream or whine ect.. THey act like I think its fine and dandy like I'm telling her hey honey when your tired its perfectly fine to bite me and throw your self on the floor they act like if I just said No it would stop.








Does that make sense? Again it really truly had zero to do with what you posted.

Deanna


Sorry about that. I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to jump on you like that.


----------



## Veronika01 (Apr 16, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Irishmommy* 
I haven't read beyond, but toe walking can shorten the tendons at the back, making it harder to put the heel down. It's really not something to ignore.

Oh for Pete's sake. I mentioned that he doesn't do it all the time in my original post. He walks normally at times and on his toes at times. It's not toes all the time. When I tell him to put his foot flat he does it immediately and walks normally.







:


----------



## Mimi (Oct 8, 2008)

My FIL bout us being Tv free,
"Well you have to let her have SOME fun.".
I think what we do is much more fun than tv, thankyouverymuch.


----------



## Llanitas (Oct 21, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *octobermom* 
My biggest is
I'd never ALLOW my child to act that way...
Geez really well please tell me you secret then because if you can figure out how to prevent every whine every no I wont every mommy can I can I Can I PLEEEASSEE then well you are a genius...

I agree with you, i really loathe when some illuminated guy or mommy comes and tell you how to educate your kid, telling you that he'd do another thing o that he'd never allow the kid to act that way as you said.

Tell me what you boast about and i'll tell you about your lacks.


----------



## lindberg99 (Apr 23, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Llanitas* 
I agree with you, i really loathe when some illuminated guy or mommy comes and tell you how to educate your kid, telling you that he'd do another thing o that he'd never allow the kid to act that way as you said.

Tell me what you boast about and i'll tell you about your lacks.

I remember when my oldest was 2. We were camping and she was having a big fit about not wanting to go in the backpack and go for a hike. So I figured, "whatever" and we just went back and hung out at the camp instead. But one of the guys was telling us how he wouldn't have allowed his son (who was then a newborn) to behave like that and he would have just put DD in the backpack and continued on with the hike. Well, let me tell you, as his kid grew up, he had some whoppers of tantrums, way worse than anything my DD ever did. So apparently he did "allow" his child to tantrum.


----------



## baileyann3 (May 12, 2008)

"where are you going to put her?"

umm.. nowhere.

why would i need to PUT her somewhere?


----------



## green betty (Jun 13, 2004)

Originally Posted by Irishmommy
"I haven't read beyond, but toe walking can shorten the tendons at the back, making it harder to put the heel down. It's really not something to ignore."

Wow, she said he does it _sometimes_. This unsolicited comment in THIS thread... that's the heart of irony.


----------



## brightonwoman (Mar 27, 2007)

When I wear my toddler:
"hey, pretty soon he's going to be carrying you" (or "isn't he supposed to be carrying you by now?!")


----------



## DevaMajka (Jul 4, 2005)

Several posts have been removed for UA violations, and other posts have been removed that were referring to the removed posts. Please keep the MDC User Agreement in mind when posting. Thank you


----------



## Jannah6 (Aug 29, 2007)

When DS was almost 2 months old the ped told me to give him water. That's one reason why he's not our Ped anymore.


----------



## Jannah6 (Aug 29, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *green betty* 
Originally Posted by Irishmommy
"I haven't read beyond, but toe walking can shorten the tendons at the back, making it harder to put the heel down. It's really not something to ignore."

Wow, she said he does it _sometimes_. This unsolicited comment in THIS thread... that's the heart of irony.


----------



## Shane (Aug 6, 2005)

I had my newborn in a wrap (like the moby) with a coat on over both of us. she was sleeping and I could see her face perfectly. My Grandmother, who thinks putting a baby in a carrier is "hippy stuff" says, "Stephanie! You're gonna suffocate that baby!" Not wanting to disrespect her I had to stop myself from laughing hysterically. While she seriously offends most people, I find her judgemental, old codgery ways endearing.
But it was still annoying anyway, because the rest of my Daddy's side of the family disagrees with baby wearing too. So it just gave my sister permission to tell me that I didn't like holding my baby and that's why I used baby carriers!?!?


----------



## baileyann3 (May 12, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *green betty* 
Originally Posted by Irishmommy
"I haven't read beyond, but toe walking can shorten the tendons at the back, making it harder to put the heel down. It's really not something to ignore."

Wow, she said he does it _sometimes_. This unsolicited comment in THIS thread... that's the heart of irony.










haha


----------



## Una (Aug 16, 2008)

My grandmother told me that if I didn't let my DD cry she was going to be spoiled and a sass mouth! I still can't figure out the logic behind that one.


----------



## Tigerchild (Dec 2, 2001)

"My kids are a year apart, it's just like having twins!"


----------



## Irishmommy (Nov 19, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *green betty* 
Originally Posted by Irishmommy
"I haven't read beyond, but toe walking can shorten the tendons at the back, making it harder to put the heel down. It's really not something to ignore."

Wow, she said he does it _sometimes_. This unsolicited comment in THIS thread... that's the heart of irony.










How is it unsolicited, she brought the subject up. Also, I was showing that not all unsolicited advice/comments are stupid and wrong.


----------



## amnda527 (Aug 6, 2006)

We used to have 2 cats. When my daughter was born(and when I was pg) my in-laws were always asking us, 'what are you going to do with your cats?' uhm, nothing. They were very serious when they explained in great horrifying detail how the cats will kill our baby. Give me a break. I think they just said it to scare me into getting rid of them because they were allergic and they couldn't come visit their grandbaby because of the cats. MIL also freaked when she found out Lilah was in the bed with us. "She can fall off the bed and break her little arm!" oh really? thanks. Come to think of it, my mom still freaks when I tell her Lilah is napping on our bed. She is 15 months old and has been getting on and off our bed for a couple months already. I think she's got it down pat. Hmm what else. One of my friends said since I have a new baby coming, I need to wean my dd now, or else I won't be able to later when the new baby is here and nursing. MIL always thinks dd needs a blanket on. I remember last winter, dd was crawling around all over the floor, and MIL kept trying to wrap a blanket around her shoulders and keep it there. While dd was crawling and playing.







Just because YOU need it to be 85 degrees to be comfortable doesn't mean my dd does!
The real kicker though- when dd was about 2 weeks old we were over the inlaws house, and Lilah started fussing for maybe a whole minute. She didn't even full out cry. MIL thought for sure she was teething. She told me I should let her suck on an ice cube. I said no and started walking away with dd, but she followed me around with the ice cube, and actually started to put it in her mouth. First of all she is 2 weeks old, what are the odds of her teething? Second of all, she wasn't even crabbing anymore, or that much to begin with!! And third- the darn ice cube won't even fit in her mouth!!


----------



## amnda527 (Aug 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Vancouver Mommy* 
I used to get all kinds of advice and comments when I had my first (and believe me, I do not have a "please tell me what you think I'm doing wrong" kind of demeanour). I used to joke that dp could walk through a blizzard carrying a naked baby by the leg and all people would say is "aww, isn't that nice that the dad is spending some time with the baby".

This is so true. Everyone just praise men whenever they are out in public with their kids. Even if they are just grocery shopping with them, it's like aww look, a daddy!


----------



## amnda527 (Aug 6, 2006)

Another I forgot- My mom freaked when I told her me and dh are not going to go all out about santa crap with Lilah. She said "ohh but what about the magic?!" like, there is no other magic to christmas besides santa. I tried to explain to her that we plan on pretending with her that santa is real and the whole reindeer thing, but I am NOT going to flat out lie to her when she comes asking me about santa. I refuse to force her to believe something that I know is not true. She said all the other kids in school will think she is weird. Well good thing I'm going to homeschool.


----------



## diamond lil (Oct 6, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amnda527* 
Another I forgot- My mom freaked when I told her me and dh are not going to go all out about santa crap with Lilah. She said "ohh but what about the magic?!" like, there is no other magic to christmas besides santa.

OMG my mother did the same thing. She totally freaked out when we mentioned that we were not doing the santa thing. She actually said....
.
.
.
.
.drumroll
.
.
.
.
.
"Then what's the point of even celebrating Christmas."









Yep. This is coming from the same woman who made sure we went to Sunday school every week when we were growing up.


----------



## swd12422 (Nov 9, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
Wow, so... what is it your doing that will turn him gay so I can blame my dad for making me find happiness with another guy.









Apparently, using a pink flannel receiving blanket at 5 months old will do it. Not that my son is gay (we don't know yet, he's only 10 months now, but he appears to be asexual, so we'll be sending him to therapy soon...) but that's what we were told. By one of our friends. I wonder how he knows so much about that?









We were also told by a neighbor that we HAD to force him to crawl to make sure he crawled before he learns to walk. It causes all kinds of psychological problems if they learn to walk before they crawl, you know, AND you then have to teach them to crawl and they won't want to if they can walk already, so then it's REALLY damaging to their psyche..... All b/c several people watched him during tummy time and said he may just never crawl and go right to walking.


----------



## momongeon (Oct 1, 2008)

When I was pg with ds 2, I told my MIL I was pg and she said, "You should have waited."

I stopped BFing ds 1 when he was 15 mo and I was 5 mo pg. Most of my family said, "It's about time"

I got mastitis with ds2 he was just over a yr. My mom said, "Doesn't that tell you something? Are you finally going to quit?" My tearful response was that I was giving my child a gift and the day I stop will be a very sad day for me.

How about: "Your sons will hate you for not getting them cut. If I was in bed with a guy and he was not circ'd I would be like, 'ewww gross' and leave"? SHALLOW Don't even get me started about all the stupid comment about my sons' forskin.

Another MILism: "Wow you are finally starting to look pg and not just chubby"

"Water birth? Wont they drown?"

"You don't get a medal for giving birth with out pain meds"

If I come up with more I'll come back.


----------



## MyZoeJane (Aug 13, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *momongeon* 
When I was pg with ds 2, I told my MIL I was pg and she said, "You should have waited."

I stopped BFing ds 1 when he was 15 mo and I was 5 mo pg. Most of my family said, "It's about time"

I got mastitis with ds2 he was just over a yr. My mom said, "Doesn't that tell you something? Are you finally going to quit?" My tearful response was that I was giving my child a gift and the day I stop will be a very sad day for me.

How about: "Your sons will hate you for not getting them cut. If I was in bed with a guy and he was not circ'd I would be like, 'ewww gross' and leave"? SHALLOW Don't even get me started about all the stupid comment about my sons' forskin.

Another MILism: "Wow you are finally starting to look pg and not just chubby"

"Water birth? Wont they drown?"

"You don't get a medal for giving birth with out pain meds"

If I come up with more I'll come back.

Okay, so I WAS going to post that I think unsolicited advice isn't THAT bad and that I actually sort of *like* hearing all the funny, stupid, unfounded, old fashioned, uneducated.... and yes, even sometimes enlightening commentary I've heard as a mother....

I like the idea of "it takes a village" and comments from old people sort of make me feel like I'm a part of that "village."

But after reading some of the comments you've heard from your family, I can see why some might not share my "lighthearted" opinion of unsolicited advice/commentary.

I have *never* had a family member say something this rude about my parenting or ME. I guess I live in a sheltered world and tend to think that people are just over sensitive, but I guess I'd probably hate unsolicited advice, too, if it was accompanied by such personal attacks on me as a mother.

My family didn't understand when I breastfed my DD til she was 33 months old... and I knew they found it "out of the ordinary", but in my family, we have enough respect for one another AND a healthy sense of humor, that if we have something to say, it's more of a joke than anything.

Sheesh, I'm sorry you had to hear your MIL make the chubby/pregnant comment. I simply could NOT imagine. (((hug)))


----------



## momongeon (Oct 1, 2008)

No kidding. I love them just the same though, opinions and all. Thanks for the hug


----------



## La Rune (Sep 19, 2008)

Just today I was visiting with my SIL in her front yard. The neighbor came over and DD was getting crabby since it was nap time. I put her in the sling and walked around the porch to get her to sleep.

She fell asleep easily but when I came back the neighbor felt the need to explain that you're "not supposed to stand up to put the baby to sleep". Because they might get used to being rocked. I guess liking to be rocked is a bad thing when you're just turning 5 months old?

A lot of people have been telling me this lately and I'm thinking ... hmm ... my nephew needed a pacifier to sleep until he was 3 but nobody cared about that! Maybe because it was artificial?


----------



## Pyrodjm (Jan 9, 2007)

I am accosted by the hat police regularly. I'm glad to see it's not just me. Also, there seem to be a bunch of people convinced that babies should never be in direct sunlight or uncovered while outside in general.

Don't get me started on the people that couldn't/can't believe we took DD out of the house at 1,2,3 and now three months old. When are babies old enough to leave the house?!


----------



## Needle in the Hay (Sep 16, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mommy2Austin* 
What makes me laugh about people who say that is I wonder exactly how many of them actually slept with their child and never got them out....hmmmm I can't imagine my son someday grown and married telling his wife "Goodnight hunny I'm going to sleep in my mom's bed" lol


When my sister was around 6 or so my mom asked her jokingly what she was going to do when she went to college and my sis replied, "You will be my roommate!"

As you might imagine she had changed her mind about this long before she actually went off to college!


----------



## layla2376 (Oct 21, 2008)

I do not understand why anyone feels they have the right to give unsolicited advice anyway, it bothers me no end. I had a lot of advice and downright nasty undermining comments about my decision to breastfeed - truth be told I think a lot of negative statements/ criticism or " advice" are actually to do with the giver being intimidated or feeling guilty over the decisions they made in child rearing. My MIL constantly badgered me about breastfeeding and constantly asked if I was sure I was producing enough milk for her ( well, she is steadily putting on weight so I'm going to guess- YES !!!!). I had to go back to work when dd was 5 months old ( which I hated but which was necessary) and was doomed to failure by various older female relatives who maintained I would never carry on breastfeeding - HA !! I breastfed until she was nearly 2, has no-one heard of breast pumps ! I was laughed at for cooking all of her food and was told the baby food jars were full of vitamins - guess what ? fresh fruit and veg even more so !
We would never let our little one cry and were told we were "spoiling her" and she was "manipulating us " - at 2 fricking months old !! I could like most everyone go on and on. I do think its because people feel threatened. I don't care, my daughter is fab and thats the main thing.


----------



## momongeon (Oct 1, 2008)

I thought of a few more!!

On day three of life (our first night home) my milk was in and I was emotional. DS cried nearly the whole night. I fed him many times and ds held him a few times. I thought my milk was not letting down so while I tried to hand pump to see if I could get things going, in tears all the while, dh said, "just give him a bottle" AHHHHHHHHHHHH!! Needless to say he never mentioned a bottle again after I got through with him.

After 1yrs we decided to start giving ds1 whole milk. When he didn't like it we didn't push it but many people told us to mix it with FORMULA so he'll get used to it. ????? Why do you think he would prefer the taste of formula to cows milk when he has never tasted formula.

I know my MIL was joking every time she said this (and she said it a more than a handful of times) but there is something wrong with even saying this in jest. Every time one of my babies would cry she would say: "Is your mommy mean to you, you can come live with us" or "Is your mommy not feeding you enough, you come live with us and we will feed you" I think dh said something b/c she has not said it in a long time. I told dh it bothered me and he said she is just kidding. I told him it is not OK to say that. He told me to say something but I said I shouldn't have to b/c I am his wife and he should be sticking up for me and my mothering skills regardless of his feelings for his mother. I do love my MIL though. I just hate her tact.

My last for now: Every time ds2 cried, and he cried a lot, someone was always there to tell me he was hungry!!! If I donated an ounce of milk for every time someone said that to me I could feed a third world country. Sorry but I think I know when my baby is hungry.


----------



## Peppermint Poppies (Jan 7, 2007)

I was told that I needed to 'milk' my newborn DS's nipples or else he would end up with MAN BOOBS


----------



## MaxMommy (Feb 16, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Peppermint Poppies* 
I was told that I needed to 'milk' my newborn DS's nipples or else he would end up with MAN BOOBS









OMG!!! So............this must be new, 'Cause I sure see a lot of old man boobs at the beach









Not really advice, but one strange coment by an aquaintance when dh was new: "Oh, he looks like his Dad, that's good, so everyone will know who his father is"
I was too stunned to coment at the time, all I could think is what does that say about me, or the fact that dh and I had been together 12 years before ds came along.







:


----------



## frontierpsych (Jun 11, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Pyrodjm* 
I am accosted by the hat police regularly. I'm glad to see it's not just me. Also, there seem to be a bunch of people convinced that babies should never be in direct sunlight or uncovered while outside in general.

Don't get me started on the people that couldn't/can't believe we took DD out of the house at 1,2,3 and now three months old. When are babies old enough to leave the house?!

lol! I had DS at the PX in his wrap at 2 days old!


----------



## waiting2bemommy (Dec 2, 2007)

at work: bf'ing past 1 year is pure laziness.
one of the other moms at my job told me that I should give my ds more juice (i was asking her about bottles during the workday, since she *used* to nurse). "At 9 months he should be drinking at LEAST 10 oz a day of jucie," she said. Otherwise, they don't poop. " And then added, "most of the time I even give my kids teh JUICE juice, you know, like the 100% kind?"
another day we were talkign at lunch about our kids' sleep and another mom mentioned matter of factly that her son was teething again and she had started putting the fan on in the kitchen so that she wouldn't have to hear him cry when she put him to sleep at night. lovely.


----------



## tjjazzy (Jan 18, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mouthcave* 
Oh, the hat comments!

my thinking on hats is that i actually wear hats on my LOs all the time b/c if i don't wear a hat and i'm in the cold/wind, i get sore ears instantaneously! but i guess if mamas aren't prone to it, their LOs likely aren't either.


----------



## yummama (Jun 26, 2008)

On buying a co-sleeper- "don't waste your money. You won't be able to sleep with the baby making all kinds of noise beside you."

On cloth diapering-"We'll see how long that lasts."

On telling someone that my 1 week old had a cluster feeding session last night (I wasn't complaining about the 5 hours of nursing, just observing that she is eating well)--"You don't want her hanging off you when she's four years old"

On picking up my three day old from her pack and play (in the kitchen) as soon as I finished eating, even though she wasn't crying--"why did you do that?" oh, I don't know--maybe I just want to hold the baby that barely three days ago was INSIDE of me.


----------



## ishyfishie (Dec 20, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *yummama* 
On buying a co-sleeper- "don't waste your money. You won't be able to sleep with the baby making all kinds of noise beside you."

The better advice, in our case, would've been - "Don't waste your money. You'll end up snuggling her in bed with you anyway."


----------



## squeekybuddha (Feb 20, 2008)

My mother LOVES to ask "What's wrong with him?" regarding my 2 year old son. My response? "Um, he's a 2 year old BOY mother!" UGH! Of course, this is coming from a woman that only had girls and swears up & down that we were never rambunctious when we were little.

It drives me NUTS!


----------



## AlwaysByMySide (May 4, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *herewearetogether* 
Also, my husbands grandmother does "not approve" of me carrying the baby in
"a bag around my neck".
I don't mind that,though, she's 90, things were different back then

THAT is funny!


----------



## Doula Dani (Jan 9, 2008)

I had someone tell me when I was going for a vbac to just have another cesarean because you'll end up with one anyway.

I've also been told just circumsize and vaccinate because everyone does it.


----------



## diamond lil (Oct 6, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ishyfishie* 
The better advice, in our case, would've been - "Don't waste your money. You'll end up snuggling her in bed with you anyway."


----------



## Murihiku (Oct 2, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ishyfishie* 
The better advice, in our case, would've been - "Don't waste your money. You'll end up snuggling her in bed with you anyway."









Oh but they make such great bedside tables! I must have four books, my diary, two pens, a packet of thank you cards, a pair of jeans and a nursing pillow in mine!


----------



## ishyfishie (Dec 20, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Murihiku* 
Oh but they make such great bedside tables! I must have four books, my diary, two pens, a packet of thank you cards, a pair of jeans and a nursing pillow in mine!









We have the original size, which converts to a playpen...so the crib is now side-carred to the bed to serve as a trampoline for dd, while the co-sleeper/playpen is home to various household items that I don't want the baby or cats getting into! My mom wants to turn it into a ball pit, which is fine with me--she paid for the thing!


----------



## Mimi (Oct 8, 2008)

my grandmother just called to wish me a happy birthday & felt the need to mention that "maybe this will be a year with no new baby, you don't need to populate england, you know?" . i have two children, that's hardly populating england.


----------

