# Would you ask grandparents to get rid of dieffenbachia?



## Bena (Jan 26, 2008)

In the fall, as I go back to work parti-time, DD (who'll be 10months at that point) will be going to my inlaws 2-3 mornings a week.

They have 2 huge dieffenbachia plants in the living room, which I understand are toxic, (the symptoms are usually mild but for precaution it would still be a trip to the dr should she chew a bit of the leaf).

I'm wondering if I should ask them to get rid of them. I know that FIL is pretty proud of these "trees". MIL is very vigilent, and I do trust her 100%, but this is a toddler were talking about! (this arrangement would last untill DD is about 20 months)


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## jillmamma (Apr 11, 2005)

Is that where they would spend most of their time? Could they gate the room off or move the plants? I know at my in-laws, they did not have toxic plants, but my kiddos got into the dirt and knocked a couple of them over. They may want to avoid a big mess or plants falling down.


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## lonegirl (Oct 31, 2008)

I likely wouldn't. I would just remind MIL that they are toxic. Kids are surprisingly good at learning where not to touch. My inlaws have this vase on their shelf that is like $6000 I was always soooo paranoid he was going to break it (mil goes on and on about this vase) so I kept telling them to put it up....From the point he was crawling I was consistant on telling him not to touch. Inlaws didn't move it and so far so good. He knows now at 3.5 y not to play near it.


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## Annie Mac (Dec 30, 2009)

I'd ask. What could it hurt? If it were me, I'd probably frame the question in terms of MY paranoia vs HER inattentiveness (and there's no issue there anyway). I don't really mean you're paranoid, btw. I think you have a very reasonable concern. Kids can gobble things down quicker than you can imagine. When my daughter was 2, she ate a very toxic plant (we were outside), and it was literally in the time it took me to turn my head. She was OK, but we had to spend about 7 hours in the hospital with her hooked up to monitors to make sure she was not poisoned severely.


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## earthmama369 (Jul 29, 2005)

No. That would be crossing the line of courtesy, to me. It's their house and they have every right to decorate it the way they want. Two dieffenbachia trees, in which grandpa takes pride and which pose only a mild risk, would be worth me simply reminding them, very politely, that they're not edible and kiddo should be kept away. If you're really, truly worried, I'd buy a couple of those indoor gate/fences that you can put around things and ask them to put them around the trees when kiddo is over there. That should be at your expense, though. A couple of decorative trees really aren't "out there" or so crazy risky that the grandparents should take on the burden of removing them or fencing them for you. This would be a good time to start reinforcing with your kiddo, too, that house plants are not food. I wouldn't expect that to remove all risk, of course, but it's not too early to start teaching that particular lesson.


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## Llyra (Jan 16, 2005)

If it was an issue of an occasional visit to Grandma, I wouldn't. That would be crossing the boundaries of politeness. But for a regular child-care situation, where a baby too young to control impulses is going to be there on a regular basis-- yeah, I'd ask for the plants to be moved to an inaccessible area or gated. Even a mild risk is a risk, and even the most attentive grandma can let her attention slip for a minute, and things happen, and it just seems safer to me. Honestly, if you asked, and MIL reacted badly, I'd start to consider whether the arrangement is best for all concerned. To me, it's a reasonable concern, and I would want my child's caregiver to be willing to make accommodations


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## moxygirl (Jun 23, 2009)

I would ask them to move the plants to another room or block them off when they're watching your DD. I got a tiny bit of the sap on my arm once and received a pretty nasty chemical burn. They're pretty potent and I wouldn't take the chance that the reaction would be "mild".


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## MissLotus (Nov 2, 2005)

It's worth mentioning to them - maybe they don't know they're toxic. If you feel awkward saying something, can't your husband mention it to his parents?


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## Marsupialmom (Sep 28, 2003)

I would mention they are toxic. I didn't know what plan you were talking about until looking it up. My kids grew up around these plants. And in general Grandma never allowed plant chewing. I would mention there toxicity.

Their toxicity doesn't mean they need to be removed but move up or be more aware of.


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## Ola_ (Sep 5, 2008)

I also would ask them if they know they are toxic and little one needs to be kept away from it at all times. Also suggest the gates so that they don't get damaged or knocked over - since FIL is so proud of them I'm sure he wouldn't want that to happen!


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## calebsmommy25 (Aug 23, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Llyra* 
If it was an issue of an occasional visit to Grandma, I wouldn't. That would be crossing the boundaries of politeness. But for a regular child-care situation, where a baby too young to control impulses is going to be there on a regular basis-- yeah, I'd ask for the plants to be moved to an inaccessible area or gated. Even a mild risk is a risk, and even the most attentive grandma can let her attention slip for a minute, and things happen, and it just seems safer to me. Honestly, if you asked, and MIL reacted badly, I'd start to consider whether the arrangement is best for all concerned. To me, it's a reasonable concern, and I would want my child's caregiver to be willing to make accommodations









Yes to this. I would tell them the plants need to be put somewhere where DD can not get to them while she is there. Regardless of how toxic they are, they are toxic. period. We rent, and have holly bushes out by our yard. I turned my head for a second one time and realized DS had eaten a berry. Thankfully it was just one. This only posed a 'mild' threat too. However, the poison control lady politely reminded me that one this time was not a problem, but happening more often, even if it was one at a time could be more dangerous. Honestly, I don't think it is rude or over the line at all when it concerns safety. Just make sure you do reassure that it has nothing to do with the attentiveness of your MIL. It is about your concern for DD's safety, especially knowing how quickly things can happen.


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## Spirit Dancer (Dec 11, 2006)

I would mention they were toxic and leave it at that. Honestly, my toddler playing in a room with trees like that would not bother me.


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## Calee (May 10, 2008)

I am assuming that they are doing you a favor by keeping your child free of charge? I would not expect them to get rid of something that they like and are proud of. I would perhaps ask them to put something around them or move them to somewhere where your child can not access them, or just ask them if they are aware of the toxic nature and to be sure to keep her away from them. But no, I would not ask someone who was doing me a favor to get rid of an item that they enjoy.


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## SpottedFoxx (Feb 8, 2010)

Not all children are into eating things they shouldn't (or putting things into light sockets, opening cabinets they aren't supposed to, etc).

I'd voice my concern to my mother but temper it with "please keep an eye on her, if she goes for the plant, what do you think about moving into "x' room?


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