# Cesaren Section Support Thread October 2005



## Ben's Mommy (Aug 11, 2005)

This thread is for support only and not to debate the necessity of cesarean birth. This is a place to moan, complain, bitch, mourn, share the joy, thoughtful decision, cesarean birthplans, etc. and all are welcome!


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## Ben's Mommy (Aug 11, 2005)

Checking in!








I am 13 weeks post c-sec, no pain around my incision. I think I've healed quite well, and have just been given the go ahead by my new OB to ttc! Yeah!


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## soccerchic21 (Jan 6, 2004)

Checking in. I am about 12 weeks past my first c-section with a second birth. My incision "looks fabulous" according to my midwives and ob. Slight numbness still but not much.

I am starting to feel pretty good about myself regarding the surgery but not so much when I think about the fight I am going to have on my hands when I want a VBAC in the future.


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## Henry's_Mamma (Jan 23, 2004)

Checking in. I'm about 23 months post-c/s and w/ the eception of having some itching and other hard to describe weirdness around my incision around af and ovulation, I'm feeling pretty good. I think my c/s scar is actually less noticeable than my stretch marks.

We're ttc#2 and I'm planning a hospital (my only option) VBAC with a midwife/OB group. Let's hope the hospital remains VBAC friendly between now and then!

Anyone here from OnTheFence recently? I know she was affected by Katrina in Mississippi?


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## chantald (Oct 26, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Henry's_Mamma*
Checking in. I'm about 23 months post-c/s and w/ the eception of having some itching and other hard to describe weirdness around my incision around af and ovulation, I'm feeling pretty good. I think my c/s scar is actually less noticeable than my stretch marks.

I am 12 days shy of 12 months post c/s #2. I have the itching and wierd AF too..

Quote:

Anyone here from OnTheFence recently? I know she was affected by Katrina in Mississippi?























I just popped over to Kim's blog.. they are all quite ill at the moment.

Kim, if you pop in.. we are all thinking of you!!

Chantal


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## J-Max (Sep 25, 2003)

Checking in !
I haven't been on here in a while, I got a little busy at home :LOL
I am 7 months (tomarrow) post c-sec #3. Lillian is doing well and growing - she almost weighs as much as my 2 year old, only 4 lbs lighter. I am thinking she is goinign to have mommas bug build instead of being tall and skinny like her dad and sisters.

Hi to all the new people on this thread, and Kim we are thinking of you!


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Checking in. I'm now 10 weeks pp. I'm doing okay, and Evan's growing like a weed. I'm glad breastfeeding wasn't compromised by my section, because I can't even imagine what formula for this child would cost!! (Well - and I hate the stuff.)

The incision's totally healed - the infection didn't put me behind schedule by much. I still have a lot of bad days, but since dh is now willing to at least consider one more baby, I'm doing a bit better. Of course, then there's the matter of trying to have a VBA3C!

The numbness is driving me crazy, but at least I've experienced it before, and am quite sure it will pass. The screwed up bladder sensation and generally "weird" feelings in my pelvic area are starting to really piss me off, though.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Hope we heard from you soon, Kim - I'd just assumed you were busy with the little ones.


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

subscribing.


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## wombatclay (Sep 4, 2005)

checking in! Six months to the day post-c/s...still have those funky pains along the right side of the incision and some numbness in the middle, but the scar is pretty minimal at this point. Here's hoping yoga and scar massage will keep the healing going!


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## mommy2girlies (Jun 6, 2005)

hey all! checking in...im 16 mos post c-sec. and i too had the wierd numby feeling..but its gone away. but who here still has a "shelf" belly? :LOL im pre-pregnancy weight already but my belly creases where my scar is and i have a poochy belly...wish i could fix that?







: the scar looks fantastic, but i have to lift up my loose belly look at it!














:


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## PaytonsMom (Aug 31, 2005)

One year and 3 weeks post c/s due to "failure to progress" while baby was swimming in merc. I was stuck at 4cm for 3 hours.

Another pooch belly, and still numb. Scar is minimal.

Heading to my OB on the 26th. At my 6 week apt PPD, I was told no vbac was possible. Going to raise the issue again and see why not. If they say no again, I'm going for a 2nd opinion at another practice. We hope to start TTC again in January.

I'm afraid of another c-section. But I want more kids.


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## dlm194 (Mar 23, 2005)

Amber - I feel like i have the same story almost down to the dates. My dd was 10 days late and born 9/9/04. I got stuck at 4 cm for hours. My medwife finally called the ob in for a c-s and told me later on that my pelvis was too small and that "next time we will schedule a c-s and have a birthday party." Uhm, no! I'm getting a 2nd opinion also.


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

Does anyone else have major tenderness at ovulation? It started after my second c-section, when I ovulate, my lower abdomen is soooo tender, it's not like the egg passing through the tube, it is much lower down, thoughts? I mentioned it to my Dr. prior to my last pregnancy, and he offered to put me on the pill







: .


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## liseux (Jul 3, 2004)

Yes! I have unbelievable tenderness during ovulation. Yet my menstrual cramps are completely gone.

I`m Claire and I read these all the time but never post. I`m 27 months past my 1st section. I had a crazy hb transfer vaginal hospital birth with my 1st, my second had a severe birth injury and he passed away when he was 7 weeks old. Also a vaginal birth. My third could only be a section and it was actually a wonderful experience. I had the best birth of all 3 with my section, but I know that`s because of my extreme circumstances. Anyway I hope to have another section one day, believe me I wish it didn`t have to be this way, but I am just making the best of my situation.

Is that ovulation tenderness a bad thing?


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *liseux*
Is that ovulation tenderness a bad thing?

That is what I want to know, so far I have only gotten the offer for the pill to "help" me, thanks anyway Doc. I have a feeling that it is not a good sign, but can't seem to get a real answer. I am concerned b/c I did NOT have it after my first section, then I apparently did not heal properly after my second section leading to a premature "opening" of my incision line with my 3rd pregnancy. So, I want to know what this tenderness means. I am almost 2 years out and it is not any better. I also no longer have period pain (since having my first child).


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## chantald (Oct 26, 2004)

I have extreme tenderness and pain at ovulation.. Some months I need to take pain medication for it.. I nearly double over.. but my cramps have gotten lots better..

I forgot to ask about it at my 6 month pp visit.. I am going again in Dec, I think, for a 1 year.. and will try to ask then..

If I think about it.. I worry.. so I have been trying not to worry

Liseux.. I am so sorry for your loss

Chantal


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## liseux (Jul 3, 2004)

Thank you Chantal.

I just read everything I could find about the ovulation pain and supposedly the blood & fluid that comes out when the egg is released irritates the backside/interior of the abdominal cavity. Maybe b/c we were opened up our interior lower abdomen is now more sensitive? Nothing I have read tonight says its a bad thing. I have an appointment on Monday and I will ask & get back to you ladies if I hear something new.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

I've got abdominal tenderness this time, which I never had with my other sections. But, I'm only a little over 2 months pp, so I don't know if it's going to end up linked to my cycle or not.


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## Karen3177 (May 30, 2005)

I am almost 6 months pp from my last c-section. I had a c-section with all three of my dc and thinking about having one more baby.

Karen
Austin Tyler 1-14-98 Andrew Dallas 6-27-01 Alana Elizabeth 4-14-05


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Karen: Welcome! You're in the same boat as me that way. The jury's still out on baby number four. DH is very reluctant to go through another pregnancy with me, and I can't blame him. My emotional state with my last was pretty ugly. I just don't seem to be able to wrap myself around my sections.

I'd originally intended to get a midwife and try for HBA3C with my next...but now I'm having second thoughts. For the first time, I'm realy starting to think about the possibility of UR. I know it goes up with each section, and I'm not exactly young. My next would definitely be my last, and I just couldn't bear to lose it due to my birthing choice. (I'm not saying that I'd be okay with losing any baby, of course...I don't know if I'm expressing this well...just can't quite imagine deciding to go ahead with my last baby and then losing it because I was so hellbent on experiencing a natural birth...I don't really think that would happen, but...what if??) Maybe I really need to get my mindset into "at least I have my babies"...


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## turtlewomyn (Jun 5, 2005)

Just looking in to see what the future brings. I am 5 days post C/S (due to fetal macrosomia possibly caused by undiagnosed gestational diabetes, it was scheduled and a difficult decision to make) and doing pretty well. DD and I are getting the hang of nursing. On Thursday in frustration I asked DH to get me a bottle of formula (we have a million and one samples that he hid in case of an emergency) He told me no! He is so great, he knows I wouldn't forgive myself, and hey, things are much better now! (I put in a call to the DOH because they had someone visit in the hospital and said they provide free lac. consultants that come to your house. I left a message and they never called me back! Thank goodness we got through it on our own).
I cry from time to time about my lost natural birth, but for the most part I am just busy enjoying my new daughter!


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## chantald (Oct 26, 2004)

Hi Karen! Welcome. I will most likely also be planning a c/s birth when we decide it is time for our next child. I just can't put myself through another birth that doesn't end in a vaginal birth again..

Hi Kristen! Congratulations on the birth of your daughter!! Be easy on yourself! Give yourself time to heal and to grieve. Don't hold it in.. find someone who will understand and listen. Allow yourself to forgive yourself. Many







s for you!

Chantal


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Peppermint*
Does anyone else have major tenderness at ovulation? It started after my second c-section, when I ovulate, my lower abdomen is soooo tender, it's not like the egg passing through the tube, it is much lower down, thoughts? I mentioned it to my Dr. prior to my last pregnancy, and he offered to put me on the pill







: .

Your ovaries and tubes are actually much farther down than you might think.







I always felt it when I ovulated (it's called "mittleschmertz" or "middle pain"), from the very first time. Only my mother believed me, because she had always felt it, too. The pain was *very* low, about even with my hip socket, usually unilateral and somewhere between my hip and belly button. It's hard to describe the position, but I could point to it. Lots of women feel it when they ovulate, but the majority don't.

I can think of lots of plausible explanations as to why you might be more sensitive to the pain of ovulation after a c-section. I don't think that it's anything to worry about, unless the pain is debilitating. For me, it was usually some achiness surrounding a sharp pain; the achiness could last up to eight hours, the sharp pain was usually 45 minutes or less. I haven't felt ovulation since my son's birth, though; I think that my body was just less sensitive to the hormones and the pain after the hellish ordeal that brought my son into the world. :LOL


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## Ben's Mommy (Aug 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Peppermint*
Does anyone else have major tenderness at ovulation? It started after my second c-section, when I ovulate, my lower abdomen is soooo tender, it's not like the egg passing through the tube, it is much lower down, thoughts?


I think it would be nice to have a signal for when you ovulate! Not that the pain or tenderness would be fun. But it would be great for either birth control or if you are trying to get pregnant!


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

I do find it useful now that I am avoiding pregnancy, but when I was TTC #3, it was really painful to have sex during that time. My main concern is wondering if it signals a problem that I should know about.


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## Monkeyfeet (Feb 5, 2005)

Hi everyone!
New here with a question if you all don't mind!

I had dd by c-section a year ago. Ever since then if I bend over for too long, it hurts to straighten myself back up. I have to do it VERY slowly.

Normal? I would appreciate any ideas!

Thanks so much!


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## mommy2girlies (Jun 6, 2005)

welcome monkeyfeet, karen, and kristin!! kristin congrats on your new little one!









monkeyfeet~do you think it might be from the epidural or spinal they gave you? i know that that happens for me, but i have a yucky back anyway..herniated disk, displaced sciatic nerve....







: or maybe its from bending over to pick up your baby bundle..my doc says you're supposed to bend w/ your knees like when you pick up a box..HELLO! when im swooping up my little one, i never think of doing that way...oh well...

we've been toying w/ the idea of having a third, but i really want another vaginal birth! i've had one of each now and carson's c-section delivery was from the cord being wrapped around her neck twice and causing decel's w/ every cntxn, so im a good candidate for a vbac...but in MS they don't really do those...and they don't have birthing centers or midwives near me. there's a midwife about 2 hrs north of me and a center that will do a more natural birth 2hrs east of me...i spent all day yesterday on the computer trying to find legislation information that would tell me that vbacs are either frowned upon but you could find a dr. to do one, or if they're just flat out illegal...its kinda frustrating!

kelly


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## dlm194 (Mar 23, 2005)

Kelly (Monkeyfeet) ~ I had a c-s a year ago and in Aug, my back suddenly started hurting really bad. I went to the chiro (who has always helped me before) and nothing! I went to my regular doc and I got meds but they didn't help so I stopped taking them. I finally started in physical therapy a couple weeks ago and that's been helping. Apparently, my muscles were very weak, leading to the pain. I really wonder if it was related to the epidural though.


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## cdenuccio (Jul 5, 2004)

Hi!

I am 22 weeks pregnant with my 3rd child. My first 2 were amazing homebirths and I'd do that again in a sec, except for 4th degree tears following both (including hospital transfers and a 3 day stay after baby 2 b/c of blood pressure issues, but anyway...)

So I'm exploring my birth options for this baby's birth, consulting my midwives, a few OBs, you all... Still no firm decision but as I explore the idea of having a c/s, I'm deeply concerned with having/creating a birth experience that is beautiful and memorable, one I can happily tell to this wee one inside me.

What can I do to help create that experience? Is it even possible? What experiences did you Mamas have? Did anyone do anything ahead of time --or at the time-- that really enhanced the surgery into a BIRTH? Thanks for your help and ideas. My 2 toddlers are currently wreaking havoc so I'll check back and write more when I can.

Cara


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## Heavenly (Nov 21, 2001)

Hi I have had c-sections with both of my children and I am currently 5 months pregnant with #3. A brief rundown of my story - I was going with midwifes and planning a homebirth with my DS. I got pre-eclampsia and HELLP at 34 weeks and he was born by emergeny c-section. We both almost died and I honestly have no emotional upset about that c-section, it was SO obviously necessary. With my DD I was planning a home VBAC with the same midwives. I laboured at home for 25 hours but my water broke with tons of meconium in it so we headed to the hospital. Once I was there I got an epidural because she was posterior and I had been having back labour for 25 hours, I just couldn't take it any more. Once I got the epidural her heart rate dropped alot but it WAS starting to recover. The OB on call was against midwives and home VBACs so he immediately started bullying me into a c-section. He said if I didn't have a c-section right away my baby would die and I was scared so I listened. I know now her c-section wasn't necessary, the records say she was born vigourous. Her 1 minute apgar was only 6 so maybe she was a bit in distress but I still feel it wasn't necesssary. I had severe PPD after her birth because of having set myself up so much for a VBAC and ending up with a c-section. I heal very easily from my c-sections it seems. I was up and shopping within a week of their births and by 4 weeks I felt pretty much back to normal.

Right now I have been planning a VBAC with midwives at an Ottawa hospital (that is my only option) but there is a part of me that is still seriously considering scheduling a c-section. After 2 c-sections I know my chances of another one are probably 30%. The idea of going through all that labour and setting my hopes so high on a VBAC only to end up with a c-section again is devastating to me. I know the PPD after Olivia was because I had spent hours and hours planning the perfect VBAC and when it didn't happen I just totally lost it. Yes I want a vaginal birth but I think I might be romantacizing it in my mind. I see the births where people seem to barely feel pain and deliver with no tearing and I want that. But that isn't the average woman's birth. And what if I tear really badly? I will still have severe pain to recover from and it will be a place that I really don't want to feel pain! I know that is totally lame but at least a c-section is a known to me. I know physically I recover well from them and if I planned one hopefully I would feel better about it emotionally too. And I do have to admit the risk of rupture scares me too. I would never forgive myself if I lost my baby just for the sake of a vaginal birth. I just keep thinking that I can't plan a c-section because then I will never experience vaginal birth. But what if I do everything just to end up with a c-section anyways? I wish I could know what my chances of succeeding really are but nothing can be predicted before it actually happens. For other people who have decided to plan c-sections for subsequent children how did you let go of the goal of a vaginal birth? And do you think I will regret it if I plan a c-section? I feel the baby moving in me and I feel like a "normal" pregnant person - one who will be waiting for that first contraction and going into labour and then delivering my baby. This baby is actually head down as opposed to my other two and I wonder if that's a sign I should go with a vaginal birth. If I plan a c-section I feel like I will never get to join that "club." You know the one I'm talking about - people treat you as if because you had c-sections you had it the easy way. I actually had someone ask me today why I wanted a vaginal birth and then she said, "After 3 vaginal births the only way I will have another child is if they let me schedule a c-section." People seem to think that a c-section is so easy compared to vaginal birth. I've never actually had a vaginal birth but I really don't see how that could be true. Okay I've rambled long enough, any input into my situation is appreciated.


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## ChattyCat (Sep 7, 2004)

Hi, everyone! My name is Cat. I had ds via csec in Feb 04. I'm pregnant with our next babe. His csec was totally necessary. I pushed in every imaginable position while in excruciating pain for over 6 hours, and we know he wasn't malpositioned. He was stuck at +1 position, and when they pulled him out, he had a cone head that looked just like the inside of my pelvis! We had a very supportive birth team, and a vaginal birth just wasn't meant to be.

I've decided that with this babe, I'm going to schedule a 39 week csec. We've moved and the people here are not so supportive of VBACs, and honestly I'm not sure if I would want one anyway. I can't imagine having to recover from another csec after a traumatic labor, especially with a toddler running around the house.

How do I make this the best experience I can? Last time I was so focused on a natural, vaginal birth. Even though my main goal was healthy mom/healthy baby, and I got that, it took me a long time to process my grief over not having a vaginal birth. This time, I'd like to be okay with the birth. And, just know that it is the best experience it can be. Is there a way to make a surgical birth about the birth?


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## Ben's Mommy (Aug 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cdenuccio*
What can I do to help create that experience? Is it even possible? What experiences did you Mamas have? Did anyone do anything ahead of time --or at the time-- that really enhanced the surgery into a BIRTH?
Cara

I had an unplanned c-sec, but have also been looking into scheduled positive c-sec experience for my next birth. I haven't tested these ideas, but here is what I've read that other women have obtained for their c-sec's. I've heard of women who were able to either have the screen lowered or a mirror positioned to see the actual birth. Having their dp with them at all times (even while the epi or spinal is placed). Some women were able to have their dp take pictures of the actual birth. Others have done anything from a spa day before to bringing their own pillow to the OR to be more comfortable. Some were able to recover in their own room with the baby. I'm trying to negotiate a few of these things with my OB, but it all depends on the hospital and your OB, so I would try and have them in your birth plan somewhere.







Hope this helps.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Heavenly*
I would never forgive myself if I lost my baby just for the sake of a vaginal birth. I just keep thinking that I can't plan a c-section because then I will never experience vaginal birth. But what if I do everything just to end up with a c-section anyways?

I feel the baby moving in me and I feel like a "normal" pregnant person - one who will be waiting for that first contraction and going into labour and then delivering my baby. This baby is actually head down as opposed to my other two and I wonder if that's a sign I should go with a vaginal birth. If I plan a c-section I feel like I will never get to join that "club." You know the one I'm talking about - people treat you as if because you had c-sections you had it the easy way.

Oh, my - this sounds so very much like me. I want to experience a vaginal birth so badly it almost makes me insane.

My VBA2C attempt didn't work out. I ended up going in for a scheduled section, and it's really messed me up in some ways. _But,_ by pushing for a VBA2C, I did put off my section by _three weeks_ and went into labour before the surgery. DS2 seemed much better off at birth than his sister did. He didn't have her breathing difficulties and my colostrum and milk both came in more quickly. If I do have a fourth, and don't try for a VBA3C (a possibility - it's going to take a war to pull one off), I'll definitely wait until labour again. I'd never have another scheduled section unless there was a real, valid, medical _reason_ for one...not just medical convenience.

And, yes - I hate the whole "easy way out" attitude. Being told you cheated (someone said this to me a month or so ago) when you've just gone through hell to get out of it...not fun.


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## Ben's Mommy (Aug 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Heavenly*
And I do have to admit the risk of rupture scares me too. I would never forgive myself if I lost my baby just for the sake of a vaginal birth. I just keep thinking that I can't plan a c-section because then I will never experience vaginal birth. But what if I do everything just to end up with a c-section anyways? I wish I could know what my chances of succeeding really are but nothing can be predicted before it actually happens. For other people who have decided to plan c-sections for subsequent children how did you let go of the goal of a vaginal birth? And do you think I will regret it if I plan a c-section?


Heavenly - you just summed up what I think is going thru all the minds of women with c-secs. We ALL want to experience vaginal births, and know what it is like to have an easy delivery....unfortunately we can't predict the future, and our future deliveries. And as far as c-sec being easier than vaginal births - you will most likely only hear that from women who have NOT had c-secs. A c-sec takes way more time to recover from than normal V-births. As far as wether or not to schedule a repeat c-sec or try for a VBAC, that is entirely a personal decision that is up to you. You have to come to that decision on your own terms, weighing out all the risks. For me, a scheduled repeat c-sec is the only way I am comfortable birthing. I can not leave the hospital again without a baby. The possibility of rupture is just too much for me, even if it is a small percent. So now, I'm just researching all the information possible on how to have a "good" c-sec experience. I hope with reading thru all the posts, and researching your options, that you are able to come to a decision that you are comfortable with. I wish the best of luck to you and your pending decisions.


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ben's Mommy*
And as far as c-sec being easier than vaginal births - you will most likely only hear that from women who have NOT had c-secs. A c-sec takes way more time to recover from than normal V-births.









I'm still here. A section can be easier, and have a shorter, easier recovery; I experienced it myself. I'd never call it cheating to have a c-section, but it's not always the most difficult route (physically) when it comes to childbirth.


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## Ben's Mommy (Aug 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eilonwy*







I'm still here. A section can be easier, and have a shorter, easier recovery; I experienced it myself. I'd never call it cheating to have a c-section, but it's not always the most difficult route (physically) when it comes to childbirth.









Sorry. I do realize that there are V-births that are WAY hard to recover from and c-sec births that are realatively easy to recover from, but on the most part, from what I've heard, it's the other way around.








Now why can't birth just be easy in general for the mom and baby!? It would make it a lot easier to care for a newborn if you are all well and peppy!


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## turtlewomyn (Jun 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cdenuccio*

What can I do to help create that experience? Is it even possible? What experiences did you Mamas have? Did anyone do anything ahead of time --or at the time-- that really enhanced the surgery into a BIRTH? Thanks for your help and ideas. My 2 toddlers are currently wreaking havoc so I'll check back and write more when I can.

I had a scheduled c-section just last week. I had a nice birth plan written out for a natural hypnobirth. When we made the decision to schedule the c-section based on the doctors recommendations I was really upset about losing my birth, but we gave the baby one weekend to come out on her own (she was a big baby, possibly due to missed gestational diabetes and was showing no signs of coming on her own, even past my due date). I also spent that weekend thinking about how to make the birth better.

- DH took photos of her birth, they are gory, and I don't know that I would share them with anyone, but they are good to have. I had no desire to be able to see the birth myself, seeing my body open like that at the time would have been terrible.
- At our hospital, the baby is checked over after the csection, then brought around for mom to see, I kissed her, and told her I loved her and then DH brought her back to our room. I was back in that room within an hour of her birth. My MIL and SFIL were there, but I had told DH that I wanted to hold the baby before anyone (non-medical staff) other than him had a chance to hold her, so they waited to hold her. I had her nursing within an hour after birth (which isn't easy when you cannot feel your lower half of your body!). DH took lots of pictures of everything that I missed (weighing, etc.)

Good luck with your decisions. I don't have a natural birth to compare it to, but it didn't feel as terrible as I thought it would, so I think we did a good job of making it into a "birth"


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## turtlewomyn (Jun 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride*

And, yes - I hate the whole "easy way out" attitude. Being told you cheated (someone said this to me a month or so ago) when you've just gone through hell to get out of it...not fun.

I am sorry that someone said that to you, how horrible. So far, I have been having a good recovery from my c/s (from what I can tell) but I think it would be easier to care for my daughter if I didn't have trouble climbing in and out of bed, and wasn't feeling pain at my incision site every time I rock her too much.
I have been compared to Britney Spears twice now since the decision to have a scheduled csection, including by my father who thought he was being funny and told me I needed to get a sense of humor (this was via phone, and DH who was with me overhearing all this kept telling my dad to shut up under his breath). People are so insensitive!


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## mommy2girlies (Jun 6, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *turtlewomyn*
I had a scheduled c-section just last week. I had a nice birth plan written out for a natural hypnobirth. When we made the decision to schedule the c-section based on the doctors recommendations I was really upset about losing my birth, but we gave the baby one weekend to come out on her own (she was a big baby, possibly due to missed gestational diabetes and was showing no signs of coming on her own, even past my due date). I also spent that weekend thinking about how to make the birth better.

- DH took photos of her birth, they are gory, and I don't know that I would share them with anyone, but they are good to have. I had no desire to be able to see the birth myself, seeing my body open like that at the time would have been terrible.
- At our hospital, the baby is checked over after the csection, then brought around for mom to see, I kissed her, and told her I loved her and then DH brought her back to our room. I was back in that room within an hour of her birth. My MIL and SFIL were there, but I had told DH that I wanted to hold the baby before anyone (non-medical staff) other than him had a chance to hold her, so they waited to hold her. I had her nursing within an hour after birth (which isn't easy when you cannot feel your lower half of your body!). DH took lots of pictures of everything that I missed (weighing, etc.)

Good luck with your decisions. I don't have a natural birth to compare it to, but it didn't feel as terrible as I thought it would, so I think we did a good job of making it into a "birth"


this is exactly how my c-section went...it wasn't planned or scheduled but it happened that way anyway and i guess as sections go it wasn't horrible, but i did miss seeing my oldest meet her new little sister. i have tons of pictures of it, but its not the same. im pushing for a vbac for #3. im not pregnant yet, but we're planning on it. since i've had both a vaginal birth and a c-sec. im a good candidate for a vbac, but my state isn't the most forward thinking (MS)...we'll see what happens..


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *turtlewomyn*
I am sorry that someone said that to you, how horrible. So far, I have been having a good recovery from my c/s (from what I can tell) but I think it would be easier to care for my daughter if I didn't have trouble climbing in and out of bed, and wasn't feeling pain at my incision site every time I rock her too much.

I've had good recoveries, I think - although my incision got infected this time, and that wasn't a lot of fun. Some of that is psychological, though. The gap where the infection was wouldn't heal until the infection was gone. So, it started to feel as though I was going to have an open incision forever...

That was my third section. In terms of the immediate recovery (ie. getting back on my feet and mobile), I do better every time. I was ready to try getting out of bed in just a few hours this time (I didn't actually get up until my catheter was out, though). But, it seems as though it takes longer to get completely over it everytime. With ds1, I was all over the place and feeling 100%...well, maybe 95%







at the end of the 6 weeks. With dd, I was more-or-less the same, except that I had intermittent pain at one side for months. With ds2, I just don't seem to be springing back. I'm mobile and not having a lot of pain, but the muscles still seem to be weak, and I'm just not back to normal. He's 2.5 months old, and I'm only about 70-75%, imo.

However, I don't know how much of that is the effect of multiple abdominal surgeries, how much is because I'm 12 years older than I was with my first, and how much is because we moved soon after the section, and I have a toddler now...it's been a lot more work.

I'd still like to try for a VBA3C...but I don't think it's going to happen. I doubt I can find a care-provider, and I'm definitely not willing to UBAC. And, now I'm finding the thought of rupture is starting to freak me out. I'll be getting my tubes done after the next one (if I have another one), and I think that losing my baby _and_ my ability to have any more children all at once would probably put me over the edge. So...maybe I'm going to have to give up on the idea of a vaginal birth. And, hopefully, I won't go to jail for assault when someone tells me that I cheated or took the easy way out...


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Hi Everyone,

I know I have been away for awhile now. Things, well have been hectic. We did the whole Hurricane thing again, but we were tremedously blessed that we had no damage to our home this time. We had a house full, fed lots of folks, and my husband went to the severely damaged parts in our area to volunteer and hand out clothing.

I'm nearly 16 weeks post csection. I've been very happy with my post recovery, even though I will say this recovery was different. Not bad, just different. I suppose because this was my third csection. I have a very happy baby, who is nursing great and growing up way too fast. She had a very bad bout of whooping cough (I talk about this in my blog) and we are all just getting back to normal.

In other news, I am writing up some ideas for a Cesarean Goddess site. It may take time to get going, but its something I definitely want to do.

I'm also in the two week wait and see thing because we had a condom break. Not cool! Evidently the morning after pill or Plan B contraception is out of the question when you are exclusively nursing.







: We've also been talking about the possibility of another child, my husband way more than me. I think he's lost his mind though.

I am now going to try and read the whole OCt. Support thread and see what is up with you girls.

Kim


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Kim - good to see you! I'm glad everybody's through the whooping cough scare. That's one vaccine I'd get without hesitation, even if the doctors didn't push it. Scary stuff.

Reading the whole thread will take a while. I'm still bitching and whining a lot, but I"m awfully glad this thread is here.


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## Ben's Mommy (Aug 11, 2005)

Kim - It's great to hear from you. I just barely got to meet you before your hiatus. I've read some pp of yours including your birth plan and you have given me a LOT of good ideas for my birthing future. I look forward to getting to know you better and I'm glad your family is doing well post-hurricane!







By the way, I LOVE your idea of a cesarean goddess web page! Look forward to browsing thru it when you are done.
(You are more than welcome to take over the thread at the beginning of each month - I took the liberty of doing it while you were away.) Welcome Back!


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## cdenuccio (Jul 5, 2004)

Thank you to those who've given me their ideas so far for creating a birth in a c/s! This is so out of my experience that I don't even know what to want. Did anyone have a c/s birth plan? Did anyone who knew they'd have a c/s wait til they were in labor to go in for the surgery? I'm thinking of that, both for the baby's health (labor hormones and such) and just to let her/him pick her own bday.

thanks again for the input. I really appreciate it all and welcome more!

Cara


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cdenuccio*
Did anyone who knew they'd have a c/s wait til they were in labor to go in for the surgery? I'm thinking of that, both for the baby's health (labor hormones and such) and just to let her/him pick her own bday.

I sort of did that. I had a scheduled c/s, but I'd been fighting it for months. I did put it off by three weeks, before I got backed into a corner. Anyway...I went into labour the night before, so ds2 was born when he was supposed to be! I'd never do it any other way again.


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## Ben's Mommy (Aug 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cdenuccio*
Thank you to those who've given me their ideas so far for creating a birth in a c/s! This is so out of my experience that I don't even know what to want. Did anyone have a c/s birth plan? Did anyone who knew they'd have a c/s wait til they were in labor to go in for the surgery? I'm thinking of that, both for the baby's health (labor hormones and such) and just to let her/him pick her own bday.

thanks again for the input. I really appreciate it all and welcome more!

Cara


I do know there are women here who waited to go into labor first before their c-sec's. Hopefully they'll speak up about their experiences. As far as a birth plan goes, I do not have one yet, but got MANY good ideas from OnTheFence's birh plan. Here is the link...I hope (I'm not very computer savy!) http://www.mothering.com/discussions...ght=birth+plan Hope this helps in your research!


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## SKK (Apr 9, 2005)

Hi,

I haven't posted here for awhile.

Last night I had a dream that I gave birth - vaginally and naturally and quickly - to baby number 3 (I haven't even yet fully decided whether there will be a baby number 3, although if I hadn't already had two c-sections, it would be a no-brainer). It was a wonderful dream. After the birth, I felt so good - like I was just ready to get up and go! I was so thrilled and proud, like this thing I thought was never going to happen finally did! The baby was another boy!

It made me so wistful and sad for the loss of my much hoped-for and tried-for natural births.


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ben's Mommy*
Kim - It's great to hear from you. I just barely got to meet you before your hiatus. I've read some pp of yours including your birth plan and you have given me a LOT of good ideas for my birthing future. I look forward to getting to know you better and I'm glad your family is doing well post-hurricane!







By the way, I LOVE your idea of a cesarean goddess web page! Look forward to browsing thru it when you are done.
(You are more than welcome to take over the thread at the beginning of each month - I took the liberty of doing it while you were away.) Welcome Back!
















Thanks for the sweet words and I am so glad someone took up creating the support thread while I was gone. I think this thread is very important to the mothering community. Whether one agrees with me or anyone who has chosen a csection or ended up having one for a variety of reasons, this thread is needed to spread the word that there are choices available to every mother and every kind of birth.


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cdenuccio*
Thank you to those who've given me their ideas so far for creating a birth in a c/s! This is so out of my experience that I don't even know what to want. Did anyone have a c/s birth plan? Did anyone who knew they'd have a c/s wait til they were in labor to go in for the surgery? I'm thinking of that, both for the baby's health (labor hormones and such) and just to let her/him pick her own bday.

thanks again for the input. I really appreciate it all and welcome more!

Cara

On past threads there are Cesarean Birth Plans. Also, if you go to my blog and click on the Cesarean Goddess Section my Birthplan is located there.

I did not go into labor first, but actually scheduled my csection (and the one before it). I would defintiely plan, schedule another one if I find myself pregnant again. I personally feel its safer for mother and baby if you know your dates. There is research to support both sides, so its really a personal decision.

Kim


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## chantald (Oct 26, 2004)

Morning
Kim, good to hear from you.







for the 2ww. Strange that they contradict an emergency IUD







:
When will you know?









Cara: I went into labor before my second section. My second c/s was not planned.. I ws hoping for a vbac. I am not sure if I would go into labor if I had another baby. I haven't talked about this with a Dr to know what they would "allow". I have read that it is better for baby to go into labor. But just like anything else, I think it depends on the individual, the reason for the c/s etc. I am sure that in some cases it would not be wise to go into labor..









Chantal


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## J-Max (Sep 25, 2003)

Cara - I have had 3 c/s and have the birthplan from my last if you would like it. It is a word Doc. and I can email to you. I had a good doc and knew what I wanted. DD had trouble breathing, so I did not get to see or hold her for about 12 hours, howeverm the nurses and my fp doc brought me pictures and did not feed her anything.

Kim - thanks for checking in, I was wondering how you were









I am torn on what to do for the next baby, too. We want at least 1 more, and maybe more. My doc says he is fine with me having a few more (by c/s) I think I will really push for a vba3c. I have heard that there is a midwife about 2 hours south of me that has done some vba2cs, so I am thinking of contacting her. I want to wait about 3 years and lose at least 50 lbs before I get preg (I am down about 10 lbs!!!)


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

I'm planning to VBAC #3, but I'd like to have a c-section birth plan as a back up just in case. I'd much rather be prepared for any eventuality; I was so totally unprepared for my section! Like most women, I naively believed that I couldn't possibly become one of those statistics.







At any rate: I guess it's time to start thinking about this stuff now, while I'm still early enough to make changes and while my doc has plenty of time to go over everything and get it all firmly embedded in his mind. :LOL


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## PaytonsMom (Aug 31, 2005)

My co-workers wife just gave birth vaginally to a 9lb 6oz baby girl who was 23 inches long. I am now 13 months past my section, and still I found myself in the bathroom crying becasue of the wave of failure that flew over me. When will I be able to be HAPPY for those who can have a baby without medical intervention telling them that they are a failure?


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## soccerchic21 (Jan 6, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PaytonsMom*
My co-workers wife just gave birth vaginally to a 9lb 6oz baby girl who was 23 inches long. I am now 13 months past my section, and still I found myself in the bathroom crying becasue of the wave of failure that flew over me. When will I be able to be HAPPY for those who can have a baby without medical intervention telling them that they are a failure?

I always feel the same way! I am 3 months out and I was at my brother's house this weekend and he was talking about some interview he heard on the radio with a gal who's big baby broke a local hospital record. That baby was something like 13 pounds.

Anyway my childless brother commented about "when they are a certain size you have to have a c-section don't you"

arrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhggggggggg

Of course I am the expert with a 10lb 6 oz boy.


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## chantald (Oct 26, 2004)

s for you mommas... many many







s

Chantal


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

After a few years, I found it didn't bother me quite as much. But, I still get upset when somebody who I don't think did anything "right" has a vaginal birth. It doesn't bother me so much when somebody looked after herself and educated herself, etc. But, I have to admit that I still get upset when one of the "gimme the epi" or "c-sections are cheating" crowd ends up with a vaginal birth. I'm not proud to admit to it...but it does upset me and make me mad.


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## ChattyCat (Sep 7, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride*
After a few years, I found it didn't bother me quite as much. But, I still get upset when somebody who I don't think did anything "right" has a vaginal birth. It doesn't bother me so much when somebody looked after herself and educated herself, etc. But, I have to admit that I still get upset when one of the "gimme the epi" or "c-sections are cheating" crowd ends up with a vaginal birth. I'm not proud to admit to it...but it does upset me and make me mad.


That upsets me too. And, I also feel the need to justify and defend my csec. I do believe that way to many csecs are done in this country. So, to crunchy friends I explain why going into the woods and birthing by myself wouldn't have helped in my situtation. And, to my mainstream friends, I explain why it really was necessary and why most aren't. AUGH!!!!!!! At some point in my life, I really hope I can move past csecs and vaginal births having such a central role in my life.

Also, I am petrified of having a csec in about 6.5 months. It really keeps me up at night sometimes, and I stress constantly. Does anyone else feel like this?


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## PaytonsMom (Aug 31, 2005)

I too want more kids and look forward to being pg again, but am afraid of having to have another cection to have them.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *momma2emerson*
Also, I am petrified of having a csec in about 6.5 months. It really keeps me up at night sometimes, and I stress constantly. Does anyone else feel like this?

Yes. For the first three or four months of my pregnancy with ds2, I had constant nightmares and insomnia. (I'm prone to insomnia, but I _never_ get nightmares!) My doctor had already told me I was going to have to have a third section, and I thought I could cope. But, when it came down to actually being pregnant...I couldn't. My OB agreed, reluctantly, that we could go for my VBA2C, and the nightmares and insomnia disappeared.

Of course, I did end up with a third section. Now, I'm trying to decide what to do about a fourth baby. I really, really, really want one more child. But, I don't want another section. And, I'm worried about the effect all of this has on me as a mother to my existing children. I know dd went through absolute hell this summer because I couldn't pick her up for weeks, and I'd scream when she threw herself at me and hit my incision. She just didn't get what was going on, and she's very, very spirited, anyway. She had a horrible time...


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## Ben's Mommy (Aug 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride*
Of course, I did end up with a third section. Now, I'm trying to decide what to do about a fourth baby. I really, really, really want one more child. But, I don't want another section. And, I'm worried about the effect all of this has on me as a mother to my existing children. I know dd went through absolute hell this summer because I couldn't pick her up for weeks, and I'd scream when she threw herself at me and hit my incision. She just didn't get what was going on, and she's very, very spirited, anyway. She had a horrible time...










Maybe by the time you are ready for your fourth child, your dd will understand a little better. She may even me able to help you out some.







I can't even imagine how tough the decision is for you to have your 4th child, and wonder about another impending c-sec, or if you are able to try a V-birth. I pray that you'll be able to come to a decision peacefully.
I'm not sure how you feel about adoption - but I just wanted to throw that out there as another idea of how to get your perfect family (without a c-sec). (but I do know adoptions are quite pricey now) One of my sisters is adopted, and our family wouldn't be the same without her. We are all pretty close, but I'm much closer with her than I am with my bio-sister. This has been something I've been thinking about for a while, since I've met you, so I hope you don't mind me suggesting it.








I hope whatever decision you come to will bring you some peace.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

DH and I have also been talking about adoption. There are some definite pluses to that, and I could at least try to breastfeed...being able to breastfeed my babies is also very important to me. I think it makes me feel less like a failure for having the sections...


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## Ben's Mommy (Aug 11, 2005)

StormBride -







- I just read thru your VBAC post.







As far as bfing goes for an adoption - it all depends on how old your baby will be. My parents got my sister when she was 18months, and right around the same time they had my bio-sis. I just asked my dad the other day if my mom bf'd my adopted sister, he said she did a few times, but she was so used to the bottle that she just preffered that. My sister wanted milk, and wanted it FAST! She would chew off the nipple on the bottle so it would come out faster! :LOL I think adopting is wonderful and have thought of it myself, as I'm sure after numerous c-sec's I'm bound to come up with some strange problem. I keep having this thought in the back of my head, that the next time I give birth there will be some problem and they'll have to take out my uterus and I won't be able to have any more kids. Hopefully that won't come true, but I just can't stop thinking the worst will happen, and I've only had one c-sec so far. I hate always wondering What if?? Dh right now isn't to keen on adopting yet...but then again we are currently trying for a biobaby right now. I'm sure I'll bring up adopting to dh sometime in the future, but not just yet. I hope with whatever you decide that it will be the perfect fit for your wonderful family.


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## mighty-mama (Sep 27, 2005)

Hello mama's

just saw the thread. 6 1/2 mths post c/s. Little background, had a high-risk pp. Placed on bed-rest @31wks. Was induced @39 wks, was 3cm, -1, 50% did 8 hrs of pitocin, not much improvement. Decided I was going home. Went into labor 5 days later. Labored naturally for 23 1/2 hrs, including 3 hrs of pushing, in all positions. DS would not descend. Had a c/s, realized he was occiput posterior brow presentation. Had complications and needed transfusion.

**but my boy was a 10 on the apgar and in perfect health, and my milk came in, in under 48 hrs.

Still have numbness around incision site. Hope to do a vbac w/ next pp, keeping my fingers crossed.


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## mamabeth (Jul 7, 2003)

I wanted to say hi too...my 2nd baby (and 2nd c-section) is five days old. We decided to schedule it at almost 43 weeks gestation when we found out he had turned transverse, after I had tried everything to make a VBAC happen. We wanted it to happen on our terms and it did, and was actually a good experience especially compared to my first birth. I got to see and hold him right away and that made all the difference to me, plus the hospital was awesome and no one harassed us about formula, nursery, etc.

So I am still sorting through it all obviously but am basically glad to have a healthy baby who is very peaceful so far. Recovery's going pretty well. I am still pretty sore but am trying to do laps around my house. When did y'all start walking, as in, walking around the neighborhood or something like that? I don't want to push it but I am already wanting to have some kind of exercise going, as gentle as it can be.

Thanks mamas, glad this thread is here.


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## J-Max (Sep 25, 2003)

OK mommas, I need dream interpretation









So a little background - had 3rd section 7.5 month ago. I have decided that I will do EVERYTHING in my power to go for a vba3c for our next. I do not plan on getting preg for 3-4 years. My dh is understanding and supportive, as long as it happens in a hospital/birthcenter with a doc. (I still have lots of time to work on him).

So last night I have one of those real dreams, where it seems like it really happened and you wake up and have to real think to decided if what happened was real. In the dream I was about 6-7 months preg, and decided to take a bath in the late afternoon. My kids were all home, but dh was at work. While in the bath, I realize I am haveing strong contractions. After about 45 min, the baby is born. I could feel every contraction and the birth (and woke up feeling sore). I had to suck the gunk out of her nose, but she was fine after that. She weighed 9 lbs 2 oz, so not a preemie size, but I remember being sure of my dates. I got out of the bath and wraped us both in towels. My girls were still playing happily in the livingroom and were not suprised at all at my bringing a baby out. My dh was shocked when he got home and wanted to take her to the hospital, but relented after I would not got







.

So, any insight? Or, just wishful thinking?

BTW, mamabeth, I got up and moved around faster with each section. First I was in bed for 3 days and in the hospital for 5. Second, I was in bed for almost 24 hours and in hospital for 3. Third I was out of the hospital in 48 hours, and buying a double jogging stroller when she was 12 days old (but I only drove on the freeway to bil's house, while he drove in the city:LOL)


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## chantald (Oct 26, 2004)

Hi Mighty-Mamma and Mamabeth. Welcome!
Mamabeth: congratulations on your baby! I took it easy with #2, I had complications from the surgery. I'd just take things slow, don't push it and listen to your body

Might-Mama: My DD was the same presentation..







for you!

I get Mothering Mag..not sure if you all do. But if you do, this month's message from the editor is just wonderful.. Please read it. It spoke to me so deeply. I was crying as I read it. It really was a moving letter and one about expectations and forgiving yourself.








s to all

Chantal


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ben's Mommy*
StormBride -







- I just read thru your VBAC post.







As far as bfing goes for an adoption - it all depends on how old your baby will be.

I think I'd try for a newborn. I know there are older children who need parents, but my personal preference is to start with a tiny little baby.

Quote:

I think adopting is wonderful and have thought of it myself, as I'm sure after numerous c-sec's I'm bound to come up with some strange problem. I keep having this thought in the back of my head, that the next time I give birth there will be some problem and they'll have to take out my uterus and I won't be able to have any more kids. Hopefully that won't come true, but I just can't stop thinking the worst will happen, and I've only had one c-sec so far. I hate always wondering What if??
I think after having had one section, it's hard to have the same confidence in things turning out right the next time. And, it would be even harder in your case, because nothing was what it should have been. But, if it makes you feel any better, my mom had three sections, and I've had three - and we're both fine, physically. My mom's had some trouble with adhesions, but that started with her first section, and the subsequent ones didn't seem to aggravate it at all. I think trying to stay positive is tremendously important - but I also know it's a lot harder than it sounds.


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## Ben's Mommy (Aug 11, 2005)

Thanks StormBride...it does help to know people who have had numerous c-secs and are physically fine and able to reproduce. I think I'll be fine during my next pregnancy, but will be anxious to hear what the doc says about the condition of my uterus, and how my first scar healed..etc... I'm sure I'll get more and more paranoid with each pregnancy.







I guess only time will tell.

Mamabeth - congrats! I would take it easy for awhile, and just let your body tell you how far to go. My doc freaked out when I told them I was walking 4 miles a day around 4 weeks post c-sec. I slowed down a little after that, and now it seems I'm too busy to excercise.







But I did heal just fine.









Jessmcg - Great Dream! I'm not good at interpreting though.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamabeth*
So I am still sorting through it all obviously but am basically glad to have a healthy baby who is very peaceful so far. Recovery's going pretty well. I am still pretty sore but am trying to do laps around my house. When did y'all start walking, as in, walking around the neighborhood or something like that? I don't want to push it but I am already wanting to have some kind of exercise going, as gentle as it can be.

I remember going for a walk at 6 days pp with dd. It was the day after I got out of prison...err...the hospital...and I just felt so free. I only went around the block, and it took over twice as long as it usually would have, but it felt sooooo good to be outside.


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## mamabeth (Jul 7, 2003)

Yep, I think I will try a short walk today (1 week pp). I feel pretty good and am getting antsy. I could take older dd in the stroller so I can lean on it if I need to!









Last night I got a sharp pain for a second that I thought was my outer scar, but it hurt under the skin, up and to the side of my scar. I wonder if they had to make a J-incision in my uterus since ds was more or less transverse. or is that normal?


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

I've had aches and pains of various kinds all through my pelvic/abdominal area with my sections, and they've all been lower transverse cuts. In particular, I had a sharp pain that recurred for months with dd - it was the left of the incision, and possibly slightly higher...hard to say for sure, as I obviously can't see where the uterine scar is. But, it stayed in the same place, right about the left side of the abdominal incision, even after the incision had healed and the scar wasn't that far over, anymore. I don't know if it was a muscle or a nerve or what, but it took a while to go away.

I'd ask your OB about the incision, though. My babies weren't transverse.


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## egoldber (Nov 18, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamabeth*
Last night I got a sharp pain for a second that I thought was my outer scar, but it hurt under the skin, up and to the side of my scar. I wonder if they had to make a J-incision in my uterus since ds was more or less transverse. or is that normal?

I have also had a similar pain. I don't remember it with my first section, but honestly I wasn't really worries about these things at that time. Its way above where the uterus is, so I'm not worried about that. I'm assuming its either an adhesion or nerve pain. My scars are both low transverse, although this time I also had a rupture down into my cervix.


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## PaytonsMom (Aug 31, 2005)

I walked about a half mile 6 days pp, downhill and then back uphill (there's a custard shop right down the street)







slept for a good hour after that though. LOL


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

Hi gals! I've been MIA for a bit....ong enough that some of you I don't even know by sight.

I'm 22 months post my second c/b. I am FINALLY losing that stupid pooch. I've got a lot more to work on though.

I still have lots of numbness around myy incision. THis was new after c/b 2. I've also started to lose the scar tissue feel. I'm doing massage and oils that seem to be helping.

I hope everyone is well!


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## chantald (Oct 26, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *its_our_family*
I'm 22 months post my second c/b. I am FINALLY losing that stupid pooch. I've got a lot more to work on though.
!


How did you do that? I need those exercises!!!!

Chantal


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## Ben's Mommy (Aug 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamabeth*
Last night I got a sharp pain for a second that I thought was my outer scar, but it hurt under the skin, up and to the side of my scar. I wonder if they had to make a J-incision in my uterus since ds was more or less transverse. or is that normal?

I also got the sharp pains. They would be on either end of my incision, and feel like someone was stabbing me there. It would be on one side for a few moments....then the next time it would be on the other side. It finally did go away, within a month I think.


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## Ben's Mommy (Aug 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *its_our_family*
I'm 22 months post my second c/b. I am FINALLY losing that stupid pooch. I've got a lot more to work on though.


Yes! Please let us all know how to loose the pooch....aka shelf belly! :LOL


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## egoldber (Nov 18, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ben's Mommy*
Yes! Please let us all know how to loose the pooch....aka shelf belly! :LOL

Well, I can tell you that 4-5 days a week at the gym and TONS of ab work have NOT helped.







:


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

I've been having a lot of new pain around my (internal) incision site lately; it seems to me to have coincided with a sudden growth spurt on the part of the NewBean. I also took a good look at my scar in the mirror the other day. It's practically invisible! It totally amazed me that something so difficult to see could be sooo itchy. :LOL Today it was rainy and I could *feel* my scar all day, even though it's difficult to see. I should take a picture while I'm down here, it's difficult to explain.


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## mommy2girlies (Jun 6, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ben's Mommy*
Yes! Please let us all know how to loose the pooch....aka shelf belly! :LOL


i thought i was the only one who said that!! :LOL


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## mommy2girlies (Jun 6, 2005)

ok ladies, i finally have to make the decision to fight for a vbac or schedule a c-section. we were thinking of having a third and now we are!







im hoping to be able to have a vbac, but not sure if that's a possibility. im a good candidate, have had a vaginal birth w/ my first and my c-sec. was due to the cord being around her neck twice causing her







to drop with each ctxn. not anything anatomical...so







: that i'll be able to!!


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## Ben's Mommy (Aug 11, 2005)

Kelly - Congratulations!







I hope you have a wonderful pregnancy! Good luck on your decisions for birthing, I hope you are happy with whatever type of birth you decide on.


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## mommy2girlies (Jun 6, 2005)

bensmommy thank you so much...i know i have a long time to think it over, but its too hard to just not think about it...but i don't want to ruminate over it for 9 mos...kwim?


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eilonwy*
Today it was rainy and I could *feel* my scar all day, even though it's difficult to see. I should take a picture while I'm down here, it's difficult to explain.

I had the bad weather itch for about four years with my first one. My second and third haven't done that at all...so far. But, my third one is only three months old, and it's still quite numb.

I was overweight before I got pregnant, so I'm not sure what belly you ladies are talking about. But, I think mine is shaped differently, so maybe I'm on the same page, after all...


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

*HOW DID I DO IT??*

Taebo. That and a yeast cleanse. I'm on week 5 and have lost 22 pounds. But I really think it was the taebo that got rid of the flap. It is slowly shrinking from an all over skin overhang to just a little smile.

We'll see what happens when it is just skin and no fat. I've planned a tummy tuck since my first c/b. But it looks good now so maybe I won't have to have one









Oh, and I just saw a pic of Britney Spears post c/b.....um....never seen a post c/b belly look like that unless they did a tuck at the same time.


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## gethane (Dec 30, 2003)

I'm sorry to jump in here, when I don't participate in this support thread regularly. But a few months ago while reading one of monthly c-section support threads I saw someone mention something about asking for stitches vs. staples. My first c-section was stitches, and I had a pretty flawless recovery. My second was staples, and I was miserable. As my c-section date draws nearer (Jan. 5 at last discussion) I've been thinking about asking my OB for stitches this time but wondered if there are any articles or anything about this issue I could use to show her?


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## chantald (Oct 26, 2004)

I had staples the first time and my recovery was pretty good.. I had stitches the second and my recovery was pretty similar. I think it has to do with the skill of the Dr and the individual. The ICAN website might have the studies you are looking for.

Chantal


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## egoldber (Nov 18, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chantald*
I had staples the first time and my recovery was pretty good.. I had stitches the second and my recovery was pretty similar. I think it has to do with the skill of the Dr and the individual. The ICAN website might have the studies you are looking for.

Chantal

Mine was the opposite: stitches first and staples second, but both my recoveries were similar. I agree I think the skill of the surgeon and some degree of luck regarding infection, etc.


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gethane*
I'm sorry to jump in here, when I don't participate in this support thread regularly. But a few months ago while reading one of monthly c-section support threads I saw someone mention something about asking for stitches vs. staples. My first c-section was stitches, and I had a pretty flawless recovery. My second was staples, and I was miserable. As my c-section date draws nearer (Jan. 5 at last discussion) I've been thinking about asking my OB for stitches this time but wondered if there are any articles or anything about this issue I could use to show her?

Ask her if she was being sectioned which she would prefer. If she tells you staples, ask her why. I've not had one female doctor, and all of mine have been females, say they would prefer staples.
There is a slight infection rate increase with sutures but the plusses, including vanity ones, were worth the risk to me. I've been sutured twice and if we go for another baby (which I am strongly considering) I'll do it again.

Kim


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## Ben's Mommy (Aug 11, 2005)

Kim - any news about your 2ww!?


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

I'm allergic to surgical steel, so staples aren't really an option for me anyway.







I had no idea, until I read over this thread, that you *could* get staples for a c-section; where I delivered my baby, all of the doctors seem to prefer sutures in most cases.









My scar looks incredible, it's practically invisible. In fact, if you didn't know for sure that I have indeed had a c-section, you might have a hard time believing it!


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## gethane (Dec 30, 2003)

Thanks for the input. Does anyone know if there is any relation to incisions reopening and staples vs sutures? I have to admit, my incision reopening and oozing stinky pus for weeks afterward really contributed to my poor recovery. I felt gross, physically and emotionally.


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## soccerchic21 (Jan 6, 2004)

This is going to seem like a dumb question...

So when we are talking staples vs. sutures we are just talking about the outside most layer right?

I had staples with my one and only so far c-section. I didn't know there was an option.

I do remember them closing the layer just before the last up by cauterizing it. Is that bad as well?

Why are staples bad? Mine were taken out before I left the hospital and I guess my scar is barely visible. I healed really well.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Mine have all been stapled. The scars was barely visible after my first two, but seems more visible this time. I also had an infection (fortunately I wasn't asked to go back to the hospital, because they'd have had to drag me) with my last one. The staples don't bother me, and I don't really care what my scar looks like - the inside damage (both my uterus and my mental state) are a way bigger deal to me than a line on my lower abdomen.


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## gethane (Dec 30, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *soccerchic21*
This is going to seem like a dumb question...

So when we are talking staples vs. sutures we are just talking about the outside most layer right?

I had staples with my one and only so far c-section. I didn't know there was an option.

I do remember them closing the layer just before the last up by cauterizing it. Is that bad as well?

Why are staples bad? Mine were taken out before I left the hospital and I guess my scar is barely visible. I healed really well.

I don't think they necessarily are. I just heard a discussion here a few months ago where someone said they were having their doctor do sutures instead of staples and a few other people thought that was a good idea. I only have 2 of my own c-section experiences, and I did feel I healed easier/better after sutures, however, I was also a lot younger.

And yes, its just the outer layer we're talking about. With the staples last time, I just felt a lot more.. ginger, about how well the skin was staying together I guess you could say. I'm going to talk to my OB as the time draws nearer, but was just opening it up for discusson here. I hope I didn't worry anyone.


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## egoldber (Nov 18, 2002)

I've had both staples and sutures and I honestly have no preference. My scar has been practically invisible both times. The staple removal was done in the hospital on day 3 and was absolutely painless. The sutures required no removal, but I also had steri-strips (like little butterfly band-aids) with the sutures and I did have to remove some of those manually about 2 weeks post surgery.

I think the difference is what the OB is comfortable with, and probably depends on how they were trained. Honestly, from my perspective, I'd rather have the surgeon use the closure that he/she is most comfortable and therefore probably more skilled at.


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

I had staples both times with no problems. I also a "gorgeous" scar.

NOt sure sutures would have been like except more time in the or.


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## Ben's Mommy (Aug 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *egoldber*
I think the difference is what the OB is comfortable with, and probably depends on how they were trained. Honestly, from my perspective, I'd rather have the surgeon use the closure that he/she is most comfortable and therefore probably more skilled at.











I only had sutures. Had the steristrips also. No problems with them at all. Staples just sound scarey to me!


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## rachelsmama (Jun 20, 2005)

Hi, I've just started reading this thread and thought I'd say hi. I'm 5 months pp with my dd and still having a hard time getting over the dissapointment of the c-section. I'm finding it confusing being exstatic about my healthy baby and horified about how she came out. It's realy helping seeing other peoples' experiences. It's amazing how little information doctors gave me about the healing process. I was told six weeks to heal, period, no mention of numbness and weird sensations. I mentioned the term "shelf-belly" to my husband and he got a mischievious smile and said "Yeah, I try not to talk about the elephant in the corner".

I've been meaning to ask my doctor about how the internal incisions are closed up, but I keep forgetting. Does anybody know what's comonly used to close the various layers?


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## nfpmom (Jun 4, 2004)

I have had staples for both my CS. The staples were removed about 3 days out, a special glue was painted on, and steri strips were applied (which stay on until they "fall off", but mine NEVER DO, and I end up peeling them off at 4 or 5 weeks out...)
My scar is just a thin line, no infection, yadda yadda... not an accurate reflection of the emotional scar...

As far as the various layers, they generally suture that with a synthetic suturing material, like Vicryl or whatnot.


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gethane*
Thanks for the input. Does anyone know if there is any relation to incisions reopening and staples vs sutures? I have to admit, my incision reopening and oozing stinky pus for weeks afterward really contributed to my poor recovery. I felt gross, physically and emotionally.

More likely with staples or glue. (yes, glue) Also, you need to have double layered sutures on the inside.


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *its_our_family*
I had staples both times with no problems. I also a "gorgeous" scar.

NOt sure sutures would have been like except more time in the or.

My last two sections were 20 and 30 minutes, it took five minutes longer to suture me. Doctors like to use staples and use it more often because its quicker, not because its better. There isn't a lot of skill involved with a staple gun, but it does take skill to be sewn up right with sutures. Luckily the last two I had did it right!


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## egoldber (Nov 18, 2002)

OTF, I'm just curious why you prefer sutures so much to staples? It sounds like you've had both and prefer the sutures and I'm wondering why. Just curious.


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## cdenuccio (Jul 5, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *OnTheFence*
On past threads there are Cesarean Birth Plans. Also, if you go to my blog and click on the Cesarean Goddess Section my Birthplan is located there.

I did not go into labor first, but actually scheduled my csection (and the one before it). I would defintiely plan, schedule another one if I find myself pregnant again. I personally feel its safer for mother and baby if you know your dates. There is research to support both sides, so its really a personal decision.

Kim

I did print out a copy of your birth plan. It included a zillion things I didn't even know to consider. thank you. I'm going to wander around your Cesarean goddess Section and see what else I find. this thread is very helpful!

Cara


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## Heavenly (Nov 21, 2001)

Sorry to vent but I am really irritated right now. I am planning a VBA2C but there is still some fear there. Since I have partial placenta previa we'll have to see what happens. Anyways I am on the ICAN list and people are laying into me because I responded to someone that our bodies are scarred and there is a risk there. Everybody is saying, "Well I had a wonderful homebirth so obviously I am fine." Well yes, you are. So will 98 other women out of 100 be. But 1 won't and you dont know if you will be that 1. Yes its a small risk but I think it hurts the VBAC movement more than helps to pretend and gloss over the risks. How is it truly an informed decision if people are led to believe there is really no risk? It makes me so mad. If we want informed choice for every women how can we fault the woman who reads the same statistics and decided that FOR HER the risks are too great to do a VBAC. Why do people have to treat this person as if they are uneducated or fear driven? I guess I will just never be someone who wants the perfect birth experience so much that I will convince myself that nothing could ever go wrong. Its like a high school age person - they think nothing bad could ever happen to them. Most of us grow out of that mindset. Why do people have to make it sound as if every rupture is the result of hospital mismanagement so the REAL risk is incredibly small? Why can't they say that to them 1% is an acceptable level of risk and they are going for it? Maybe because it ISN'T an acceptable level of risk so they have to convince themselves that the risk is much, much smaller? Who knows, that is just speculation. I AM planning a VBAC but I am doing it in the hospital and on fetal monitoring. I have been cut up for those choices. I am an educated woman, I read the studies too and this is the conclusion I have come up with for what is safe to me. Why assume I am uneducated just because I don't march over to your (general you) camp and do exactly what YOU would do?

Okay vent over!


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ben's Mommy*
Kim - any news about your 2ww!?









No, I am afraid to test!


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## gethane (Dec 30, 2003)

I hear what you are saying Heavenly. I get flak sometimes too. I have high PIH, which has resulted in many of my children being induced early (even my 2 vbacs, back before they knew the risks). Now, since inducing can't occur for a vbac and I've had my second c-section, I really have no choice but to have a c-section. And no, I'm not interested in a home birth with my own health problems. I'd like to live through the birth of my child and not stroke out.

Don't let them convince you that you will fail if you vbac in a hospital. I had 2 successful vbacs after my first c-section and both were in the hospital, on fetal monitoring with pitocin in the IV. The first was awfully long, and a different doctor would've sectioned (pushed for 2.5 hours), but the second was pretty much a breeze. I did get a uterine infection after that, since the idiot doctor insisted on sticking his damn hand up there to "check for tears." Thanks for introducing the infection causing bacteria!


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *egoldber*
OTF, I'm just curious why you prefer sutures so much to staples? It sounds like you've had both and prefer the sutures and I'm wondering why. Just curious.









First, there is a less likely chance that the incision will reopen with sutures. Staples can get twisted in the skin (this did happen to me with my first) Sutures, done correctly, usually make a "better" scar. For me, the sutures made me feel like I was put together better and tighter. It was easier for me to get around, and get up with the sutures than with the staples making for a better recovery.


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Heavenly,

Personally I think what you are doing is not only smart, but the way I would go. The facts are, people do rupture and people have lost their babies to rupture. Of course when its not happening to the other person, the statistic -- no matter how small -- is insignificant to that person.

I've known more people to rupture in the past year than I have the previous years attempting VBACs. It is a real occurrence -- that mom's here can attest too. Each woman who is VBAC or faced with a repeat cesarean should not be condemned, berated, or IMO need to defend her choices.

I left ICAN a long time ago. I think they skew statistics and play down the risks. I think their agenda is bigger than the reality and the militant anti-csection bull crap they spill often overrides good common sense and sound medical judgement.

I find it so interesting that in more crunchy forums a 1% serious vaccine reaction is blown out of proportion but a uterine rupture before or during a VBAC attempt is played down like its nothing, or when a post date baby dies its just a freak occurrence.

Heavenly I wish you all the luck in getting the birth you want, just ignore the nay sayers!


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## Heavenly (Nov 21, 2001)

I agree with all that. I am considering leaving because IMO the stuff they are saying totally minimizes the risks. If someone does rupture it will be all hush hushed and people will pick it apart to prove that something the doctors did caused it or that it is just a fluke. i so agree about the vaccine thing. I actually DON'T vaccinate because I feel the small risk is not worth it. I don't want to risk hurting my kids. That's why I am struggling so much with this decision because I know that a uterine rupture is actually MORE possible than a serious vaccine reaction. A part of me is still not sure. People on here do skew statistics to fit their purposes. (these are just made up numbers for examples sake) 1% of babies die from being formula fed-formula feeding is evil. 1% of babies die from co-sleeping-oh that is just a rare risk and you are silly to worry about it. obviously those statistics are not real but my point is that to be TRULY informed you cannot just pick and choose which statistics you will believe. I hear sooooo much about the risks of c-sections on here but no one is able to acknowledge the risks of VBAC or even vaginal birth in general without getting jumped all over. Like I've said many times to various people - sure vaginal birth has less risks than a c-section...if you don't rupture. But since you have a 1% chance of rupturing I would wager that statistically the risk of VBAC is higher. there is so much talk about being educated and informed consent but only if you are educated to what Mothering believes and consent to what they consent to. I love these boards and don't plan on going anywhere but it makes me very frustrated that seemingly educated women can not see the flaw in their thinking process there.


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## mommy2girlies (Jun 6, 2005)

hey ladies~i spoke w/ my ob's office yesterday and i asked if anyone in the group did vbacs and only my ob and another do them!!! yipee!!!!! im so excited. that was the one thing that was dulling this experience of having a third. i really didn't want another section. now hopefully i won't have too!


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## dlm194 (Mar 23, 2005)

Shawna, I was thinking about what you wrote because I work with about 5 or 6 other women who delivered within a year of me who all had c-s. We were all pretty much told that we can't have vbacs b/c our pelvises are too small. Among us, we have a complete variety of body types - short, tall, heavy, thin, etc. There is NO WAY we all have pelvises that are too small. But I can't get anyone to believe that maybe their body is just fine.

For instance I was talking to 1 friend here who was told that her baby would be at least 8.5 lbs. She was induced early and delivered a 6lb 12 oz baby by c-s b/c her pelvis was too small. She's about 5' 2" so she totally believes it. I tried pointing out to her that her doctor has already proven that he can be wrong since his weight prediction was way off but she still believes that he must know what he's tallking about with regard to her pelvis. I told her that there are risks with a vbac and if she's more comfortable with a c-s, she shoud have a c-s. However, there are still risks with a c-s and she should weigh them both (especially since she had a rough recovery and developed an infection post c-s). I really wish women would just educate themselves!!!! If they ultimately chose c-s, that's fine. But I hate when women just go along b/c they believe doctors are infallable (even when they've already proven to be fallable!!!)

My friend often talks to me as though I will just plan on another c-s. Sometimes I want to vbac just to prove her and everyone else wrong.








But I know that it won't change her or most other womens' minds about their own "broken" bodies.


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## Heavenly (Nov 21, 2001)

I just wanted to clarify that I am thinking of leaving the ICAN list, not Mothering.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dlm194*
But I know that it won't change her or most other womens' minds about their own "broken" bodies.

It is frustrating. Mind you...I think I have a broken body, too. But, I didn't think that way until after I acquired the scar on my uterus and abdomen...


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Heavenly*
I just wanted to clarify that I am thinking of leaving the ICAN list, not Mothering.

I just joined yesterday, so I don't really have a feel for it yet. But, I have been reading your emails, and I think you have a point.


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## Ben's Mommy (Aug 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Heavenly*
Why assume I am uneducated just because I don't march over to your (general you) camp and do exactly what YOU would do?

I agree with you completely! I do believe in INFORMED decisions, and they are to be decided upon by YOU...no one else. I do feel (here at MDC) that you have to comply with other's views. Like there is no middle ground. Not every woman is the same, and no one is ever going to make the exact same decision as another. As long as you educate yourself and understand the "risks" to what you are or aren't deciding, then that's that. You have made the right decision for you, and no one should pressure you to change your mind. Making an informed decision is hard enough without added pressure!

Mommy2girlies - congrats on your successful OB appt!









Kim - You'll have to let us know when you test!


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

Hey mamas, I am not active posting here, but read when I can. As someone who has been through a minor rupture, which would've likely been a catastrophic had I gone into full labor, let me say this: Read, reseearch, think on it, talk to your dr/midwife, then LISTEN TO YOUR INSTINCTS. I had planned to go in for my 3rd section when I was in full labor (to be sure babe was ready) that seemed like the best thing to do based on my research, in the end though, I scheduled my section b/c it just "felt" right, I couldn't explain it away with research or anything, I just knew what I needed to do, and it was the right choice for me. In all things mamas, research and then trust your own instincts.

I am sorry to those who feel pressured one way or the other.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

I agree with trusting our instincts, except for one thing. When everyone around you is pushing and pushing in one direction and/or employing scare tactics, it's very difficult to separate your intuitive feelings from the external stuff being pushed down your throat.


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

That is so true, which is why I am thankful for my faith, I can "pray on it" and that works for me but ymmv.


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride*
I agree with trusting our instincts, except for one thing. When everyone around you is pushing and pushing in one direction and/or employing scare tactics, it's very difficult to separate your intuitive feelings from the external stuff being pushed down your throat.

AMEN! There are scare tactics about everything to be found at MDC-- God help you if you give birth in a hospital, put your kid in a bassinet or crib *ever*, vaccinate them, send them to public school or just can't afford a 100% organic, vegan diet.









Wow, that could easily turn into a huge rant, so I'm gonna stop now.









I am planning to VBAC #3. I even want to catch him by myself, and that's what I'm planning to do. My dr is entirely supportive of the VBAC, doesn't know a thing about the solo birth and never will. It may not happen, because my water tends to break without labor starting and quite frankly I think that after 48 hours, I'm not going to be willing to wait.







If that's what happens, if my water breaks and 48 hours I have no signs of impending labor at all, I will likely go to the hospital and have a c-section. They won't want to give me pitocin because I had a section with BooBah, and they probably won't want to wait terribly long (though I will ask for the same doctor who did my section before, because he did a kick-ass job all the way around). I may be able to get some waiting in by agreeing to CFHM, which won't be a problem as far as I'm concerned. And I definately need to get my ass over to the Ceserian Goddess site to print out that birth plan, and work up my own but I can't do that until the weekend (at the ILs house where they have a lovely high speed connection).


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride*
I agree with trusting our instincts, except for one thing. When everyone around you is pushing and pushing in one direction and/or employing scare tactics, it's very difficult to separate your intuitive feelings from the external stuff being pushed down your throat.

I wanted to say on this whole "trust your instincts" thing too, that as I planned my last c-section, I was just doing what seemed best based on my situation, the waiting for full-on labor was based on research I had done, I wansn't "listening to my instincts" b/c they weren't saying anything clear, it was when I suddenly had a strong feeling that my plan was not good, but had no real "research" reason why that I had to trust that gut feeling. The gut feeling won't happen to everyone(didn't happen with my first 2), I think it mainly happens when your plans are wrong, we rarely get that feeling in our gut when all is right with these decisions, yk?


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## mamabeth (Jul 7, 2003)

Yes, I just wanted to say that I totally agree with listening to *your* instincts. When dh and I had to decide what to do about this birth (less than 2 weeks ago) I forced myself to not check the MDC boards, to block out the doc's scare stuff, and to pray and talk with dh and my friends and family about what *we* wanted to do. I think since we did that, I am pretty much at peace (at least for now...of course stuff may come up later) with our decision to schedule this c-section. It ended up being a great birth and a healthy kid and it just felt right at the time. Also, since I know that I totally made the decision, I'm not bitter or angry at anybody this time (as opposed to last time with dd). Makes a huge difference.

So....if there is a next time I will do the same, listen to what my instincts are telling me and what feels like the right thing to do.


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride*
I agree with trusting our instincts, except for one thing. When everyone around you is pushing and pushing in one direction and/or employing scare tactics, it's very difficult to separate your intuitive feelings from the external stuff being pushed down your throat.

I think that goes for anything. Didn't you feel pressure to VBAC? I mean you were reading everything you could about it, coming here, talking to people in various forums about it and had this overall feeling that your cesareans were just this terrible god awful thing. Couldn't you say you fed that? I mean how many times have I read in these very forums the horrors of csections and how the risks are way over exagerrated. For the most part cesareans are safe, but if you go to ICAN or a VBAC site you may think that a cesareans could be equated with cutting a limb off or rape.

Many of us have CHOSEN not to trust our instincts and actually try to do something that we know that our bodies or ourselves or even our babies should not be doing. Example: With my first birth I wanted a natural vaginal birth, I decided to have an ECV even though I felt it was not going to work -- but I did it because I wanted to avoid a csection. It was more important to me to have that vaginal birth and prove something than what was really best for mine and my babies health.

Just wanting to throw that out there....


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## Heavenly (Nov 21, 2001)

That is so true! I don't know WHAT my instincts are telling me. I have prayed about it and haven't seemed to get a clear answer but I know I am probably blocking it. A part of me is really scared to go for a VBAC and just worried about how I will react if it doesn't work out. I have bipolar and I REALLY don't do well when my plans get messed up. I had severe depression and anxiety after Olivia and I really feel it was because of the obsession over planning a VBAC that ended up a c-section that did it. I don't think it was so much the c-section itself as I seem to heal really quickly. Within the first week I was out shopping, it was uncomfortable but not really a big deal. I don't know whether I want a VBAC because "I" want a VBAC or because Mothering and ICAN push it so much. More Mothering..I have a hard time with these boards because you don't know what is fact and what is their own agenda. Like for example I have bipolar as I mentioned and this baby will be getting supplementary formula and bottle feedings at night (every other feeding or something) so I can get rest. I go severely manic (rage) when I am sleep deprived. But with Olivia I would not give her bottles - it will ruin the breastfeeding relationship, it is just wrong and evil - at least that is what you believe reading on here. We need to truly do what is best for our families not what someon else says is best. When I picture a VBAC I picture this wonderful perfect birth with minimal pain and short labour and no tearing. yeah right! How often does that really happen? I had 22 hours of unmedicated labour with Olivia and I wanted to die! I still remember it, it was the most pain in my life! I gave up and headed to the hospital for an epidural and you know what? I would probably want an epidural again. Is it a vaginal birth I want or is the the PERFECT vaginal birth? The chances I would end up with this perfect birth no problems is really not that high. A part of me keeps coming back to really wanting to plan a c-section. I am a real type A personality, I like to plan everything. And with the bipolar, it just helps me feel in control of my life. We don't really have anyone to watch the kids here. My sister will but she has two autistic children and they would have to come with her. She wouldn't be able to stay for hours and hours. And if we ended up with a c-section I'd be at a hospital over an hour from home and DH would have to go home to be with the kids. If we planned a c-section we would have DH's family (parents and teen SIL) come up. They are so awesome with the kids and the kids love them. I trust them completely. They would have the kids outside building snowman, and making cookies, and drinking hot chocolate while reading stories. They would make the kids feel completely at ease. I could go to a spa the day before and have a nice massage (ahhhhhh) and get my nails done. I could take a nice big sleeping pill and have a good nights sleep the night before. I could go in prepared and have my kids prepared, special new toys and colouring books at home and what not. I could deliver in the small town hospital which is 4 minutes from my home. The doctor who delivered Elijah would deliver this one and he is amazing. He is so respectful. Even though Elijah was an emergency because I was soooo sick with pre-e he sat down with me and read over my c-section birth plan and when we in the OR he said "okay everybody she wants it quiet when the baby comes out" and everybody was quiet so Elijah heard our voices first. He ended up having real troubles and was airlifted to Ottawa but I know Dr. Lee would have done everything we preferred had he stayed. They only have private birthing and recovery rooms there and they are really nice so I would have a private room with out having to pay. I could have all my stuff ready in my room and have gifts for the kids "from the baby" and big sister and big brother t-shirts. And I know how I recover from c-sections. Even though with Elijah I hemoraged and ended up wit 3 blood transfusions I still recovered quickly. With both kids I was shopping within a week, took the babes to the chiropractor by 3 days old or so, and within 2-3 weeks I was a bit sore but pretty much back to normal. We were having sex within 4 weeks of the births (pretty much as soon as the bleeding stopped!







). After Olivia I only took advil and tylenol (staggered) and I was fine. I think after writing all this my heart really wants to plan a c-birth. It sure sounds like it huh?







I'll have to do a lot of thinking on this. I know this is probably my last child (because of health issues) and I don't want to end up regretting never having a vaginal birth. But DH said maybe its not the vaginal birth I want but the calm and happy birth. I think a c-birth could do that for me. Also I loved what someone said on another board I am on. People talk about the "I am woman, hear me roar!" feeling after a vaginal birth, well "I am Mom, hear me roar," is a lot more important. The birth is just one day and we shouldn't lose our focus on that. Anyhoo now that your eyes are crossing from me writing so much







I will sign off for now!


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## greenmansions (Feb 16, 2005)

Heavenly, you & I seem to be going through some of the same "stuff" with VBAC vs. scheduling a c/s. I have still not decided what to do! But it's nice to hear someone else questioning whether VBAC is the best thing for them.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *OnTheFence*
I think that goes for anything. Didn't you feel pressure to VBAC? I mean you were reading everything you could about it, coming here, talking to people in various forums about it and had this overall feeling that your cesareans were just this terrible god awful thing. Couldn't you say you fed that? I mean how many times have I read in these very forums the horrors of csections and how the risks are way over exagerrated. For the most part cesareans are safe, but if you go to ICAN or a VBAC site you may think that a cesareans could be equated with cutting a limb off or rape.

I've never been raped, but I understand why people here make that equation. I have been sexually abused, and my section felt worse than that. I'd go back to being a 12-year-old girl being groped by the school janitor in a _second_ if it would somehow guarantee that I'd never be in the OR having my belly and uterus cut open. That's not because of pressure here - that's _why_ I came here. I needed to talk to people who understand feeling that way.

The kind of pressure I was talking about in my other post wasn't the "VBAC is best" or even the "c-section is best" kind of thing. With my first section, I knew as soon as I'd regained enough consciousness to know my own name that I never, ever, ever wanted to go through that again. I don't really care if other people agree or disagree (although I could easily do without the "oh, that's the easy way" and "that's cheating" comments). *I* didn't want to ever have another section. I still don't...I tend to try to forget how Emma and Evan got here - almost like they magically appeared as part of my family.

The pressure I meant is much, much more subtle, and definitely messed with me. When I had Evan, I was living at my mom's (long story involving immigration screw-ups, my mom's astronomical mortgage, a couple of lay-offs, etc.). All through the pregnancy, an old family friend who lives upstairs (has part ownership of the house) kept expressing concern about what I was going to do, and whether I would agree to a section under any circumstances. She doesn't have kids, and doesn't know anything about pregnancy or childbirth, as she freely admits. She was just concerned. My mom, who I love and like dearly, commented that I was obsessed with the c-sections...while still agreeing totally that a VBA2C was the way to go. And, then...when I was about 38 weeks...my mom, my sister, the friend upstairs were all asking me _several times a day_ "no baby yet?". The friend started with "I'm concerned. How long would you let this go...what will you do if you're late?". By the time my original EDD (u/s date was a week earlier) arrived, people had already behaving as though I was in the middle of an obstetrical crisis. On a gut level, I don't think I had any concerns. But, it's very difficult to live with people who are worrying about you _constantly_ and voicing their concerns _constantly_ without feeling as though something has gone horribly wrong. I have no doubt whatsoever that all that nonsense really weakened my resolve when my OB threatened to withdraw. They had me half-convinced that the baby really was in trouble. How can you pin down what your gut is telling you in a situation like that?

err...didn't mean for that to be an essay.


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## ChattyCat (Sep 7, 2004)

Well, on this topic. Yes, I do feel judged around here for choosing a repeat csec. I'm so sick of hearing that if I'd gone off into the woods to birth my first baby that I wouldn't be in this situation. They're right, I'd probably be dead.

On a slightly different note, I'm feeling much better about my decision. Because I am the super anal obsessive type, I took in a birth plan to my 12 week prenatal visit today!







Anyway, everything that I'd written down about my choices, my OB said ok. The only thing is that I need to contact the hospital about getting a mirror in the OR, but it shouldn't be a problem. I'm getting my choice of anesthesia, my arms won't be strapped down, I can have a pillow, I can see the placenta, dh and babe can stay with me, I'm getting stapled, etc. So, I'm much calmer now that I know that I still get to control a lot about what's going to happen. It somehow seems a little less scary.

Also, I had been leaning towards waiting for labor to start, but then I did some more research and read an article from the NEJM from last year. And, now I'm leaning more towards scheduling. My OB mentioned last visit that she'd like to schedule me at 39 weeks, but today she said if I decided that I do want to schedule I can wait until 40. Again, I feel like I'm getting more control, and I'm able to relax a bit more.

Maybe this all seems silly, but I'm excited by small victories!


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

Small victories are a lot to be excited about! (especially in the OR!)

My hospital didn't have a mirror







They forgot to order it for me







We also forgot about the placenta. My OB thought it was an odd request but she didn't care one way or the other.


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## ChattyCat (Sep 7, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *its_our_family*
We also forgot about the placenta. My OB thought it was an odd request but she didn't care one way or the other.

My OB looked at me a little funny about that. She said "It's disgusting, but okay."

On the mirror, I'm assuming the hospital has one. They remodeled their birthing area last year. While not truly crunchy, they seem really big on getting your business. Meaning, they seem to want to do whatever they can to make their *guests* happy. So, considering the tour I took. I'm thinking that they probably have them for the vaginal LDR rooms, if people request them. I hope I'm not wrong.


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## mamabeth (Jul 7, 2003)

small victories are good! And I think that as long as anyone is informed, it's your body and your choice. My problem is when I hear that "they" made someone schedule a c-sec and they didn't know they had other options, you know?

The doc was a little weirded out by the placenta request but people keep them all the time after vaginal deliveries, so they just packed it up for us.

I didn't want a mirror, but it was great to see the baby right after delivery as requested and to hold him ASAP. It made all the difference to me between this c-sec and the last. Also to not have fentanyl in my IV before the delivery, so I was totally "there" and knew what was going on.

Question...when did your steri-strips come off? I couldn't remember from last time and mine are starting to be loose but I think it would hurt to peel them off now (2 weeks pp).


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## ChattyCat (Sep 7, 2004)

They took out my staples and put on steri strips on day 3 after the surgery. They told me that they should fall off after about a week, and if they didn't I could take them off. I think I waited almost a whole week longer. They were stuck on there really well. Even then, I had to get in the shower and soak them first. But, by then it really didn't hurt to pull them off. Less than a bandaid.

Honestly, I had a really horrible labor. But, the csec itself really went well. I felt like crap for a long time. But, I really wonder how much of that was from the insane labor I had and not a direct result of the csec.

I'm hoping that this one goes better emotionally and physically. At least, this time I'll be mentally prepared for it. I went into my first one under the misguided view that since I had prepared myself so well for the natural, vaginal birth that there was no way I would have a csec. And, then the labor just beat my body up. So, I'm thinking this time, I've had a while to accept the birth in advance. And, even if I go into labor first, I don't plan on laboring for days and pushing for almost 7 hours. So, I think that should help speed up my recovery.


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## Ben's Mommy (Aug 11, 2005)

momma2emerson - Congrats on the small victories! I'm trying to negotiate my own future c-sec (not currently pg, but ttc). My question is who makes the decisions about whether or not you get to have the baby in recovery, and whether or not you can recover in your own room? Is it the hospital or the OB?? I asked my OB and he said that we couldn't. I'd have to recover in a seperate room, and wouldn't have the baby till after I was after recovery.







I'm hoping I can wear him down over the term of my future pregnancy, or maybe override his decision in the hospital. Any advice or suggestions would be much appreciated.


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## ChattyCat (Sep 7, 2004)

Oh, I don't know. I think those things are usually hospital rules. At least, that's been my experience. Luckily, the hospital ds was born at was super crunchy. And, here they just want our business. The only thing here that bugs me is that for morning rounds the pediatricians prefer that the babes go to the nursery to get checked, but dh just plans on telling them no. As far as recovery though, it's standard here to let the baby stay unless you have general anesthesia or the baby is in trouble. Which in either of those circumstances, I could understand the baby leaving the room. I hope you get some better answers or can go elsewhere to birth. I would be very disappointed with those rules.

Ben's Mommy- Oh, I just noticed your sig. How tragic! I am so very sorry for your loss.


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## Heavenly (Nov 21, 2001)

I swear I am going to flip my lid. Of all the arrogant...

This is written by someone else but I figure since it is about me then I have the right to post it. This is from someone on ICAN.

"I LOVE WATCHING M try and educate Shawna about hospital births. I remember being in M's shoes, when I tried to educate her, to draw her out regarding her choice to hospital vbac. I didn't convince M, and she probably won't convince Shawna. (Have to
admit I did chuckle a bit) But M convinced herself. And that is the
big piece here. Really it wasn't me. If you notice, I don't even think I
said a word to Shawna. AT some point, for many women, this goes beyond
opinion. There is a very deep truth, that is deeper than most of us can
express. M went on and had that hospital VBAC even though I tried to
convince her to STAY OPEN. . It wasn't until afterwards that the light went
on for her...glaring at her was her sil's uterine rupture...and she's
thinking out of hospital birth. NOw does that make sense? Wouldn't you
think, if her sil had a uterine rupture she'd be MORE likely to BIRTH AGAIN
in a hosptial?" It goes on (and on) about the ultimate goal being a homebirth (at all costs it seems).

I am ready to b!tch slap someone, I swear. And I am not a violent person. how incredibly arrogant that this person finds it amusing that someone is trying to "educate" me. Because I obviously must be stupid to choose to birth in a hospital or maybe even schedule a c-section. I couldn't possibly have my own reasons and know more about my life that this person. Oh no, of course not! Who made this person the authority on birth? Why do they get to decide who is educated and who isn't? I am so glad she can get a chuckle out of someone trying to "educate" dumb little ol' me. Because of course unless I come to the ultimate conclusion that a homebirth is the only good choice then I am uneducated and unenlightened. No they won't convince me to do what they want. I have done the research and have come to my own conclusions. I am a smart woman, I have a genius level IQ for crying out loud! Why is it assumed that because after doing TONS of research that I didn't come to the same conclusion as them and therefore I must be uneducated? See, this is what I am talking about. This is the attitude that makes me think people like this aren't educated. They are certainly not enlightened. How small your world must be when only one possible way of doing things is seen as the supreme (and only REAL) choice? They can continue to feel sorry for me, that is their perogative. But at the same time I am feeling sorry for them that their is so much hostility in them regarding their births. I find that truly sad. That a home vaginal birth is seen as the ultimate experience that they are obsessed with to the point that they have to believe anyone choosing another choice in uneducated, well that is just sad. If that is what they need to believe to feel safe and right in their world then that's just fine. I don't mind being fodder for discussion, especially when I know my own heart and I know the path I have travelled. Carry on ICAN people...


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *momma2emerson*
They took out my staples and put on steri strips on day 3 after the surgery. They told me that they should fall off after about a week, and if they didn't I could take them off. I think I waited almost a whole week longer. They were stuck on there really well. Even then, I had to get in the shower and soak them first. But, by then it really didn't hurt to pull them off. Less than a bandaid.

First section: Steri-strips were almost impossible to get off. I just tugged at them a little after each bath (they were starting to annoy me), and gradually they came off, one at a time. I think the last one was about three weeks pp!

Second section: I'm not sure, but it seems that they started to come off after about five or six days...last one came off at about 1.5 weeks pp.

Third section: They were a joke. I had to baby them to keep them on at all. I was sitting directly in the hot sun in the hospital and _pouring_ sweat the whole three days, then my incision didn't close properly and became infected. I don't think the strips ever did stick properly, because my skin was so soaked with sweat.

The staples don't bother me at all. But, I'm not that fond of the strips - they itch.


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## mommy2girlies (Jun 6, 2005)

heavenly~im sorry that you're having so much trouble w/ some of the ladies at ICAN. i've never been to that website, so im pretty much "uneducated"







sorry, i just had to! im glad that you aren't that bothered by that lady. she obviously has problems if she thinks her way is the only and right way for every single woman. very egocentric!!

mommy2emerson~im glad you got some things pre-planned. that must feel like a huge weight has been lifted! w/ carson, i got to hold her the minute they were done suturing me. but my arm was strapped down during the section and that i would change if i have to do it again!! i hated that! made me feel claustrophobic if that makes sense..

i've chosen to vbac this little one we're having in june. for me, it seems my best option. i had kya vaginally w/ no problems and carson was sectioned cuz the cord was around her neck twice and tight and didn't let her descend into the birth canal and her







kept decelerating. my ob thinks that a vbac is a good option for me and so do i. i'd be very miffed at someone if they judged my reason to birth the way i want to. just like i wouldn't judge someone else. birthing a baby is a very personal thing and i can't imagine someone telling me that my way was wrong!!


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## Ben's Mommy (Aug 11, 2005)

momma2emerson - Thanks for the advice. I'm not too worried yet, since I'm not pg right now. I think I'll wait till after the "hospital tour" and see how that goes. I will be birthing at a different hospital, which I think is more crunchy than my previous one. I'm hoping that if I tell them the circumstances of my last birth, that they may be "nicer" to me and let me have my baby in recovery. I think my OB might just be "quoting" the rules, but hopefully they can be broken or at least bent.









heavenly - I am so sorry everyone is giving you such a hard time!







When it comes time for me to birth my second baby I don't think I'll be advertising my decision, just so I won't get slack from anyone. It's hard enough researching and deciding what is best for you, to then have someone judge what you feel is best for you and your family. I'd just try and stay away from the people who are bringing you down.


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## chantald (Oct 26, 2004)

Shawna:







for you. How truly egocentric of that person. How to birth is such a personal decision.. yet so many others feel they have the right to push their ideas/ideals on others. I am so sorry. I would be very angry too.
I truly wish that all women had the right to choose how to birth (sadly many don't).. I don't think that everyone should birth the same way.. does that make sense?
I agree with Sandy, surround yourself with support and don't listen to others who are not willing to respect your choices. No one should judge someone else for the choices that they make.. they are not in the other person's shoes..








s

Chantal


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## Heavenly (Nov 21, 2001)

Well I am about 90% at the decision to schedule a c-birth (changing the terminology in my brain). I am so thankful to have this thread because it is very difficult to find any support in this issue. There are many issues which I have written about (extensively







) on here. I just think it will be best for everyone involved. I am just not willing to risk the uterine rupture at a hospital without 24/7 emergency services. 1% sounds so small but to me it sounds huge. Like I always say if someone gave me a gun with 100 chambers and only put 1 bullet in would I hold the gun to Olivia's head or Elijah's head knowing there was a 1 in 100 chance I could kill them? Not on your life. I just can't take the risk. I am not cutting up anyone who feels differently, this is just how I feel. Ugh gotta run, I'll finish this message in a minute (potty accident....no, not me!!







)


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## Heavenly (Nov 21, 2001)

Okay I am back. Anyways I am pretty sure I am going through with this. I am working on my c-birth plan right now (borrowing a lot of Kim's stuff! Thanks Kim!) and it just feels right. I feel very peaceful and calm preparing this birth plan. I am going to call my family doctor on Monday to get a referral to the OB I want to deliver the baby. He delivered Elijah and is really great. I will be delivering at the community hospital 9 km from my home. It has really nice, big private L&D rooms (and you recover there if you have a c-birth as well) and no nursery so no fights about that. I feel really happy about the idea of birthing somewhere I am comfortable, plus my mom and dad and Sister and BIL will be able to visit. We're going to schedule before labour. I know that is a controversial decision but I really don't want to go through labour and I want to be able to schedule Michael's parents being up at our house (they live 5 hours away). So we will be getting them to come up and watch the kids during all this and stay until I get home so Michael can be with me as much as possible. The kids love them and I trust them completely so that will be a load off my mind. I plan to only stay in 2 days because that is what I did with Olivia and it was just fine. This is so funny, after agonizing over this decision I am actually finally getting excited over this baby's arrival. I think my heart has felt all along that a VBA2C was not the right choice. Every time I went to the midwives office I just felt like I wasn't really there if you know what I mean. It all just felt surreal and I wasn't into it at all. Regarding the midwives I think it would be hard on me to go there (plus the hour drive) even though I am happy with my decision so would it be too horribly insensitive to contact them by phone to terminate my care with them? I will have to get them to transfer all my prenatal care records to the OB.

In regards to scheduling when is the best time to do that? I went into labour with Olivia at 39 weeks 4 days so I don't want to risk going into labour. A Friday would be best because it would be easiest with Michael's family coming up and Friday February 10 would be exactly 39 weeks (and I am 100% positive of my dates). Do you think that would be okay (provided the doctor can do it on that day? I have to admit the idea of being done sooner is a nice one!







Not that that is a deciding factor but we have to look for positive whereever they are right? I have to run now but I'm sure I will have lots more questions as time goes on.


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## greenmansions (Feb 16, 2005)

Shawna, congrats on having made your decision. It sounds like it's the best one for you.

If I choose to schedule a c/s, my OB wants to do it at 39 weeks. It sounded like that is pretty standard. They can also get it on the schedule for that date like 10 weeks ahead of time, so then you'd be able to get all your other plans set.


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## Ben's Mommy (Aug 11, 2005)

Heavenly - I'm so glad that you have come to a peaceful decision. THAT is the hardest part. Now you can relax, enjoy and only focus on the 1 birthing option you have chosen.







I feel the same way as you as far as the risk of rupture goes. The risk is way to great for me. I was never able to come home from the hospital with my last baby, and there is NO way that I'm leaving another hospital without one!! As far as scheduling goes.....my OB said that he would schedule me at 39 weeks. Now, that being said I did make it past 40 weeks with my prior pregnancy without EVER going into labor and walking around the month before at 4cm and 80% effaced! I'm sure that whenever your OB decides to schedule you, IF you do go into labor before then, you won't have to labor too long before you get your c-birth. I'll schedule before labor also. I obviously don't have day care issues, but my sister lives in CA and wasn't able to make it in time to see Benjamin alive, and I would really like her to be there the day my next baby is born. As far as the MW's go...I'd just call and cancel. I don't know if that is appropriate or not, but I'd do it.







Good luck with all your decisions, and come here for questions anytime!


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## momto3g3b (Apr 1, 2004)

Hi everyone ~ this is my first time here!

I had my first 3 kids vaginally, then my next 3 kids via c-section. I'm almost 21 weeks pg and this baby (my last) will be c-section #3.

My first c-section was necessary as I had twins who were both in a footling breech position. The surgery went fine (they were both out within one minute), but my recovery was a bit rough. The doctor stretched the outer-right edge of my incision, which resulted in a tearing/ripping/burning pain every time I stood up. The only way to alleviate the pain was to apply pressure against the edge of the incision. This was difficult to achieve when I was trying to hold 2 babies. I finally solved the problem by using an Ace bandage wrapped around my lower abdomen. The other complication I had from my first c-section was that I had zero urge to urinate. Ever. At my 6-week postpartum check-up, I asked my ob about it and she said that sometimes the bladder got damaged during the surgery (oh joy) and only time would tell if the nerve damage was permanent. In the meantime, she told me to make sure I emptied my bladder every 3 hours so it wouldn't get distended and lead to urinary incontinence down the road. Thankfully, around 6 months post-section, the sensation to urinate returned and I had no further concerns.

I had my second c-section 26.5 months after my first. My ob (same one who'd delivered my twins) had told me all along during my pregnancy that I could vbac, no problem. After all, the only reason I'd had a section the last time was due to positioning issues with twins. But then, 2 days before my son was born, my ob changed her mind and told me she wasn't comfortable letting me vbac due to my son's size (he was 9lb,12oz). I did not want a second c-section, but didn't feel I had any choice. I wasn't prepared to homebirth ~ had no supplies, no midwife, no herbs to address the issue of postpartum hemorrhage (I'd had severe bleeding with 2 of my vaginal births that required D&C's and blood transfusions), etc. I suppose I could have stayed at home, labored there and come to the hospital when I was ready to push, but honestly, it never even occurred to me at the time. I wasn't thrilled about having another section, but I acquiesed and had it done.

I had a scare with the anesthesia during my second c-section. You know how the spinal meds can make your blood pressure drop (which is what makes you feel nauseated/dizzy) and then the anesthesiologist gives you something to bring your pressure back up? Well, whatever was put in my IV caused my blood pressure to skyrocket and I had the *worst* pain in my head because of it! I sincerely thought I was going to have a stroke from a burst blood vessel. The pressure/pain was the worst thing I've experienced. The anesthesiologist was working at trying to get my pressure down and told the ob to "go ahead; get him out!" So I totally missed my son being born because I couldn't focus on anything other than the pain in my head. By the time I was sewn up, however, the new meds the anesthesiologist had given me had kicked in and my head felt completely fine again. It was a *very* scary experience, however, and one I'm a bit worried about being repeated this time around. I'll be giving the anesthesiologist the report so he knows what *not* to give me!

I am almost 21 weeks pregnant with baby #7 and had originally planned to have a homebirth vba2c. I'd located a midwife, met her, and everything was a 'go' and looked great. I had been seeing an ob prior to finding the midwife (it took me until I was almost 17 weeks to find a midwife who was comfortable taking me on as a client) and I found out at 18 weeks that there is a maternal-fetal blood incompatibility issue between the baby and me. The baby has antigen-c in its red blood cells and I have antibody-c in my blood, which means my immune system recognizes the antigen-c in the baby's blood as a foreign protein and sends antibodies to destroy the antigen-c, which, in turn, destroys the baby's red blood cells. This causes anemia and excess bilirubin (a by-product of broken-down red blood cells), which can result in brain damage, in-utero jaundice, heart failure and death to the baby. The only treatment is to monitor the baby's level of anemia through ultrasounds at the perinatologist's office and if/when it reaches a severe level, to administer in-utero blood transfusions (which have their own set of risks, including death) every 2-3 weeks until the baby reaches 32-35 weeks, at which point the baby is delivered and treated in NICU.

This baby also has a 2-vessel umbilical cord, which can be indicative of a chromosome problem (which the peri doesn't think the baby has, as there are no markers for a problem on the u/s) or it can be no big deal except that it often leads to IUGR and an earlier birth than expected.

SO! Once I learned about the challenges facing the baby, I realized a homebirth was impossible. The peri told me that a c-section was the safest method of delivery for this baby. It will need blood transfusions at birth to get rid of the bilirubin and antibody-c in its blood (it's called an exchange transfusion ~ the doctor removes a small amount of the baby's blood and replaces it with with an equal amount of donor blood, monitors the baby for signs of shock and when everything is okay, the neonatologist then repeats the procedure, doing this over and over until the baby's blood supply has been replaced). The baby will also need high-intensity bili lights to breakdown the bilirubin in its skin. And that's a "best case scenario"! There's a chance the baby could die in-utero or be stillborn, or that it will be born very prematurely and need to spend time in NICU. There is no midwife who could address my baby's needs at birth and it would be asinine for me to even consider an UC, so........c-section #3 it's going to be!

I am hoping for a good experience with this delivery. I was *really* disappointed for a few days about not getting to homebirth and avoid another c-section, but I'm over that now. My primary concern is the baby, and I will do whatever is necessary to get a good outcome for him/her. And since a c-section is the safest route for him/her to be delivered, that's what I'll do, kwim?

I do have some concerns about how much scar tissue the doctor will have to contend with from my prior sections, and I'm not looking forward to the pain and limited mobility (difficulty getting up, especially out of bed) that a c-section causes, but I know it'll be all right. I think having a high-risk pregnancy diminishes the worrying about the delivery, itself (for me, anyhow). I just want a baby who makes it and is okay when all is said & done.

I'm so happy to have found this thread. It will be nice to be able to talk to others who have had and/or are having c-sections and aren't going to flip me sh*t about how I'm "choosing" to have a repeat section versus trying to birth this baby vaginally. I would if I could, but I can't, so I'd like to just move past those who want to try to "convince" me otherwise and focus, instead, on how to make the birth of my 7th child as good/pleasant as possible.


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## Ben's Mommy (Aug 11, 2005)

Kate -







Welcome! Wow, you've been thru a lot! I am so sorry to hear about all the complications with your current pregnancy. I pray that you won't have any more unnecessary complications and that both you and your baby will be healthy when everything is all said and done. Please keep us updated as your pregnancy progresses.


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## mamabeth (Jul 7, 2003)

hi Kate and welcome! Sorry you're dealing with so much, plus 6 other kids, wow!

I don't know about alternatives for the bp drug, but I do know that being "present" for my 2nd birth by c-section made all the difference. I asked them to not give me anything before the baby came out (such as fentanyl, which I had for my 1st) or afterwards, and it was great to actually feel the baby be born and to see and hold him asap. We had an appointment with the surgeon the day before the c-section to discuss what we wanted, and it was good to be able to talk to him before I was all prepped and stuff about what was possible and what wasn't. I'm sure it depends on the doc but there's a lot they can do that people don't know to request...a mirror, seeing the baby right away, holding him/her in the OR, etc.

Anyway I hope this is helpful...sounds like you have lots of things to deal with so I hope your birth is a good experience.


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## ruby slippers (Aug 21, 2005)

Hello,
I had my c-section in feb 05 as my baby was "stuck". She was OP and acynclitic. I feel ilke I did everything to avoid it, except going out into the woods alone and not returning until she was out - I live in New York City - so I'm not even sure where the nearest woods are....







Seriously, I still have mixed emotions from it, sometimes I feel great and even empowered that i did so well and other times like a failure. I find it difficult to deal with other peoples comments like "you couldn't push this baby out, what makes you think you could push another baby out?" This was during a VBAC conversation with another L&D RN. Some L&D RN's have no clue about birth....
I wrote a poem after my baby was born that I'd like to share with you guys. So here goes...don't laugh...

My baby was born on a bright winter morning in New York;
I didn't see the sun that day.
She was lifted up from my body;
there had been "no descent".
She was lifted high up into the light
But I didn't see the sun that day.
My wonderful red squirming daughter
Lay in my arms
But I didn't see the sun.

Just wanted to share.


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## Ben's Mommy (Aug 11, 2005)

ruby slippers -







Thanks for sharing your beautiful poem. (don't worry, I didn't laugh.)









Kim - I was just curious if you wanted to start the November thread? (since you are the "official" thread keeper)


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

ruby slippers: Why on earth would we laugh? Thanks for sharing the poem. I keep thinking I should write one about my sections and miscarriages, but I don't seem to be able to put pen to paper about it...


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## SneakyPie (Jan 13, 2002)

I am amazed I ended up feeling great about our son's cesaerean birth, but I totally do. For me the reason for trying for homebirth was mainly that I am totally terrified of being in a hospital at all, so when a homebirth midwife fired me as a patient at 11w because of 1 HBP reading (induced by her insistence on using a too-small cuff) and said I would HAVE to have this baby in a hospital & probably go on BP meds for the rest of my life, I FLIPPED. Like realizing that had I known I might birth in a hospital I never would have conceived flipped.

Well, that was going to get me nowhere. Eventually I calmed down, found a better midwife who used the right size BP cuff, & had an uneventful pregnancy. But I realized I had better get myself together in case I did somehow end up in the hospital. I made friends w/several NP midwives, went to a homeopath to find my global remedy, saw a hypnotherapist, & went back to my regular therapist for several sessions. I made sure I had massages & adjustments, & did all the exercises in "Birthing from Within." I read every word on plus-sizepregnancy.com. I started maternity leave a few weeks early. I had a consult w/the birth-friendly OB lady who consults w/the homebirth midwives in our area, & toured that hospital w/nurses who teased me kindly about my hospital fears and pretended to beg me to consider birthing with them. And at 39w3d, dilated 2cm effaced 50%, I had a *really* high BP spike. With terror in my heart we had to go to the hospital for an induction -- where we were treated like royalty, apparently how they try to treat all the mothers who planned homebirth.

Long story longer, labor did go well & fast (got to use a tub in the birthsuite), but a pushing-stage emergency necessitated surgery. Great nursing support, the midwife stayed in surg w/me while husband accompanied son to nursery, great support for our decisions to keep foreskin, delay HebB vax, bring procedures to our room rather than remove babe. I grew a lot during this experience & wish that every woman who is unexpectedly faced w/a surgical birth could receive this level of care, in every sense. I truly feel my son was *born*, and that his birth was attended w/love.

(Oh, the best thing was having my best friend tape the post-birth nursery stuff while I was in recovery, so I missed nothing. She also "interviewed" our families in the waiting room during surg. so we can watch that tape & feel their love & concern while we went through what truly was a big scary thing for us all.)


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## mandalamama (Sep 1, 2004)

hi mamas *wave* i'm a little over one year post-cesarean now. still having tearing pains from adhesions, they don't seem to get better or worse. i had a miscarriage that is finally ending this last week, whew. early, 8 or 9 weeks. i chose not to go in to see my OB because i'm frankly terrified of pelvic exams now (post-cesarean issue? not sure) but i checked in with her on the phone, closely monitored my temp and how many pads i was using, everything went ok. i wish all women were informed they had the option of miscarrying naturally, you know? and that a d&c is only needed in emergencies. just like c-births.

anyway i've been curled up in a shell for a while but peeking out now. i still feel like an outsider looking in when it comes to birth ... like, i don't get involved in the sex-drive threads because i didn't have a vaginal birth. but my sex drive tanked and has stayed tanked, not sure if that has anything to do with the cesarean, hormones, or just life in general (marriage is shaky).

the babe is having her first chiropractor visit Thursday, i wish i had known she was covered for it (medicaid)! i would have had her in earlier. we had a long labor, 30 hours, i've heard chiro is great for babies of long labors and of cesareans.

anyone still having adhesion problems?


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## chantald (Oct 26, 2004)

Hi All
Mandalamama: I am so sorry for your loss








We took DD to a cranial sacral Dr for a few months after her long and complicated birth and she sees a chiro on occasion now, as does my son

? Someone mentioned they were going to ask their Dr about very painful ovulation? Anyone get an answer on that? My ovulation pains are so bad.. I was nearly doubled over the other day... I really don't want to call my Dr unless there is a need.

Chantal


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## Ben's Mommy (Aug 11, 2005)

Chantal - I've never had that kind of pain with ovualtion...so I'm not quite sure how to advise you. OnTheFence started a new thread for Nov & Dec, so maybe if you post your question there, you may get more answers.









http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=368103


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