# Leaving a breastfed baby for a weekend



## jodie84

Has anybody successfully done this? I really want to visit my sister for a weekend in April and don't think it'll be practical to take the baby. My DP thinks I should just get him onto formula before then so it's less hassle, but I think it should be possible to leave some breast milk while I'm gone and then pump and dump while I'm away.

I'd love to hear some words of encouragement...


----------



## Jacksmum8

I know people who have done this successfully. I don't see any reason to start babe on formula. You can even store your breastmilk while you're away. You also have lots of time to store breast milk before your trip. I think you'll be fine.


----------



## RachelSerena

how old is your baby? that would have a lot to do with it.

I was never away from my first baby for more than 8 hours, until she was weaned (at 27 months). even then, it was about 8 months later before she was away from me for a couple of days.

If it was me, my baby would be coming with me. Over-nights without mama would be especially hard on a baby if you have never done it before. I took my first DD on a least 2 planes rides to visit my parents, just me and her, while she was young. It was not too hard.


----------



## jodie84

He's 20 weeks now, so by the time I want to go he'll be around 6 months.


----------



## prettypixels

Why pump and dump? Why not pump and save? If you're going to make the effort to pump, you might as well save the milk and bring it back for your little one









For me it wouldn't be so much the issue of eating as it would whether or not your baby would be ok without you for that long. Mine STILL wouldn't and she is almost 14 months old. It's just the way she is wired. If your baby is perfectly happy to go to sleep without you and with your partner instead, and won't wake up freaking out that mom is gone, I'd say go have fun!

Otherwise, take her with you


----------



## Pumpkin_Pie

I definitely would not do it. There is no way I could leave my little one for a weekend at that age. Maybe when he is much older, but 6 months? Not a chance for this mama.


----------



## thismama

I wouldn't leave a 6 month old for the weekend, nursing or not but especially nursing. I also wouldn't put a babe on formula to get a weekend away. Take your baby with you, that's what you do when you have an infant IMO.


----------



## LianneM

Totally agree with thismama.


----------



## jodie84

I'd be leaving him with his father so it's not _quite_ abandonment. He's fine about DP putting him to sleep too.


----------



## thismama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jodie84* 
I'd be leaving him with his father so it's not _quite_ abandonment. He's fine about DP putting him to sleep too.

You are his primary food source. Also I assumed his primary caregiver, and that you have some fear about how he will do without you, since you posted the question. With a baby that young, especially a nursing one, I wouldn't do it.

My personal opinion is that father does not anywhere near = mother at that young age, except perhaps in rare circumstances and where the mother is not nursing. But IME leaving a young baby with the father doesn't make it okay that the mother is gone. It would be easier with our current conception of how family should be structured if that were the case, but IMO it is not. So... I would not leave my 6 month old for the weekend. I might really want to, I might be disappointed or even resentful that I could not, but I wouldn't do it.


----------



## maxwill129

I had to leave my 6 month old when I had to get a weekend job. It was for a total of 10 hours on Saturday and then 10 hours on Sunday. It was really hard for my DD. I would get home from work and all she did for the evening and all night long was nurse- her way of reconnecting with me.

I do have to agree with the others. 6 months is pretty young to leave the baby for a whole weekend. And yes, your DP would be able to handle everything fine, but it's not about your DP, it's about your babe.

And I'm trying to say this as kindly as possible, but don't ask a question if you don't want honest answers back.


----------



## Pumpkin_Pie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *maxwill129* 
I had to leave my 6 month old when I had to get a weekend job. It was for a total of 10 hours on Saturday and then 10 hours on Sunday. It was really hard for my DD. I would get home from work and all she did for the evening and all night long was nurse- her way of reconnecting with me.

I do have to agree with the others. 6 months is pretty young to leave the baby for a whole weekend. And yes, your DP would be able to handle everything fine, but *it's not about your DP, it's about your babe.*

And I'm trying to say this as kindly as possible, but don't ask a question if you don't want honest answers back.


----------



## spmamma

There's no way I'd leave DD for a weekend. She's such a mamma's girl that it's hard on her if I'm away for an hour! Even if her personality was more laid back, though, I still wouldn't leave her. I think 6 MO is too young.


----------



## artgoddess

I'd take the babe. I'm sure his auntie is anxious to see him. Every and any bottle of formula you give your babe will diminish your supply and damage your nursing relationship.


----------



## becoming

I agree with thismama. I would most definitely take my babe with me. In our house, nursing is not just about giving him the nutrition he needs, it's also about comfort and mama/baby closeness. Wouldn't your baby miss nursing if he wasn't able to do so for a whole weekend? I can't imagine how inconsolable my 7-month-old would be if I had to be away from him for three days...or even a day. Also, at 6 months old, I would be worried about early weaning if I wasn't around for that long.


----------



## alegna

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thismama* 
I wouldn't leave a 6 month old for the weekend, nursing or not but especially nursing. I also wouldn't put a babe on formula to get a weekend away. Take your baby with you, that's what you do when you have an infant IMO.









:










-Angela


----------



## KimProbable

The World Health Organization doesn't suggest weaning before the age of two years. Giving a young baby bottles of formula or expressed milk for an entire weekend could result in accidental early weaning.

Being away from you all weekend could also be quite stressful on your little one. Six month olds are fairly aware of their surroundings and his needs for you then may be quite different from his needs for you today. He may refuse to take a bottle. He may be at a stage where he'll only fall asleep for you.

Personally, I'm not even ready to leave my nursing two year old for a weekend. She still has very intense needs for me and my milk, and with the amount she nurses I'd likely risk getting plugged ducts and/or mastitis if I were to be away from her that long.


----------



## Turkish Kate

Fine for you, probably. Fine for your partner, probably, too. Fine for your baby? Well, that's another question entirely. Is there any combination that could give you time with your sister and not take you away from your baby?

*your sister could come to you to visit
*take your baby along
*take DP and the baby
*All three of you stay in a hotel together at night and you have the days with your sister
*DP and baby stay in a hotel close by while you stay with your sister

There are several other possible combinations, I'm sure. Honestly, MDC is probably not your best place to look for encouragement to leave a six-month-old baby for the weekend, no matter what the feeding choice.


----------



## jessicaksmith81

Quote:


Originally Posted by *maxwill129* 
And I'm trying to say this as kindly as possible, but don't ask a question if you don't want honest answers back.

i hate to bring this to your attention but we are all very passionit about breastfeeding so understand that you are starting to tead to deep water.

you made an alwsome chose to bf your baby and he need as you needed him before you got pg, did't need a baby??? i understand your need to get away we all long for that too, but there only nursing babas for awhile and there is a piont at whice you can get away, if you do a whole weekend w/o YOUR baby that you are going to break that bond of bfing that was so hard to form, think back to the first hours/days that was alot of work please, please do not think selvesly and break that beauiful bond between bfing mother and nursing baby. my hearth breaks for you if you make that trip w/o your baby.







:


----------



## Artichokie

I cannot offer encouragement. Your sweet little boy is emotionally and physically dependent on you. You are his only Mama and he needs you. Unless it is a true emergency that cannot be avoided, please do not tamper with the wonderfully strong nursing bond you have created.


----------



## MichelleAnnette

It's a mother's responsibility to be with her baby all the time. That is just what having a baby is about. I bring my baby everywhere, as I'm sure many mamas here do. I would be so sad if I left my baby for a weekend. He would not understand that I am leaving for a few days and then coming home. For all he knows, I'm leaving him forever. My baby deserves to be with me all the time, just like I was with my mother all the time as a baby.


----------



## jodie84

Honestly, I don't have a problem with leaving him with his dad for a weekend - I know he'll be fine. I left my DD with my mother for the occasional weekend from 4 months old (she was formula fed by then anyway) and it did her no harm either. Personally I think it's good for them to get used to being left with trusted people other than me from a young age, but I understand that other mothers may feel differently about when to leave their children.

becoming/KimProbable -what do you mean by early weaning? That he won't go back to the breast again?

artgoddess - will my supply be damaged if I'm still pumping over the weekend?


----------



## KimProbable

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jodie84* 
becoming/KimProbable -what do you mean by early weaning? That he won't go back to the breast again?


It's possible. The way a baby latches and sucks on an artificial nipple is very different from the way he would with a real nipple. The flow of milk from a bottle is also instantaneous and sometimes faster than the flow of breastmilk, so some babies who get used to drinking from a bottle refuse the breast because it's more work.


----------



## artgoddess

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jodie84* 

artgoddess - will my supply be damaged if I'm still pumping over the weekend?

Everyone is different. It is possible, but if your ds is able to continue nursing well from the time you get home then you can get your supply back up and running well, as long as you are seriously committed to doing so. However, with every bottle feeding and use of artificial nipple you run the risk of your ds having latch issues upon moms return, or even worse, refusing the breast.


----------



## rmzbm

What thismama said. PLEASE take your babe.


----------



## MommytoTwo

Well I am pretty easy-going, let people do as they will, and all that but I would not leave a 6 mo old nursing babe. Like a pp said, its also about closeness. You are everything to that baby. And I need breaks too, dont get me wrong. But a weekend is a long time to a baby. Just take him with you. Travelling w one 6 mo old child is really not a big deal at all.


----------



## jodie84

Taking the baby with me would kind of defeat the purpose of going away for the weekend I'm afraid!


----------



## artgoddess

what is the purpose of your trip?


----------



## jodie84

Just to get away from the kids for a weekend and have a good time with my sister.


----------



## alegna

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jodie84* 
Just to get away from the kids for a weekend and have a good time with my sister.

Infants don't need mama to get away from them. And in infancy the baby's needs trump mama's wants.

-Angela


----------



## jodie84

Sorry, but I don't feel guilty for wanting one weekend off baby duty in six months


----------



## becoming

Then you have your answer. But I suppose you knew you would go before you posted this thread.

I hope it goes okay for you guys.


----------



## alegna

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jodie84* 
Sorry, but I don't feel guilty for wanting one weekend off baby duty in six months









Why not stay home and let dh take baby when he doesn't need you? Or take dh with you on the trip?

You came here and asked a question. You got a lot of answers. A lot of good information. If you did not want those answers and that information, then your mind was already made up.

-Angela


----------



## artgoddess

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jodie84* 
Sorry, but I don't feel guilty for wanting one weekend off baby duty in six months









no need to apologize. I just think you are coming from a totally different world than 99% of the women on this site. Do you subscribe to Mothering magazine? The magazine that launched this discussion board? It promotes attachment parenting, and a need to get away from your children is nearly as opposite an ideal as you can get to Attachment Parenting.

Best of luck to you and your babe.


----------



## rmzbm

I haven't had, or wanted, a break in nearly 10 yrs. of parenting. I don't suggest people need to be that extreme, but at only 6 months I think I would have a panic attack wondering if my babe was ok! Wouldn't you find it emotionally unbearable? And at 6 months a baby cannot comprehend mama will be back - a weekend is an eternity! What if there was a nursing strike as a result? A real possablity! Not worth it, IMO.
Yes, you have needs, but he does too. Let his come first, there will be lots of time to go off later.
Like a PP said, you DID ask.


----------



## jodie84

I'm grateful for all the information and responses I've got here







My question was more about whether it would be possible to continue to breastfeed despite being away for a couple of days (since my DP thinks that it will be too difficult and I should just move to formula) rather than whether it is ok to leave the children.

Thanks for the points about the risk of early weaning and damaging my supply. It's given me something to think about.


----------



## jodie84

Quote:


Originally Posted by *artgoddess* 
no need to apologize. I just think you are coming from a totally different world than 99% of the women on this site. Do you subscribe to Mothering magazine? The magazine that launched this discussion board? It promotes attachment parenting, and a need to get away from your children is nearly as opposite an ideal as you can get to Attachment Parenting.

Best of luck to you and your babe.

Maybe - I'm certainly not as 100% signed up to the AP rules as many of the women here, but a friend pointed me in the direction of this website while I was pregnant and I have read and learned a lot. Some things I did with my first DD were pretty AP, and I'm intending to "go further" with this baby (like breastfeeding longer...) But as I said, I'm not 100% and may never be, and I do need a break sometimes from being mummy 24/7.


----------



## transformed

its always easier for me to just take the baby.

i dont like pumping though. i wouldnt choose to feed my baby formula unless it was an extreme case.


----------



## alegna

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jodie84* 
and I do need a break sometimes from being mummy 24/7.

We all need to re-charge. The problem is that *baby* doesn't get a break from being *baby* while you take a break from being mummy.

So as parents we owe it to our infants to take their NEEDS into consideration over our wants.

There are ways to take breaks and still be respectful of our childrens' *needs*

That is what is being suggested here.

-Angela


----------



## raelize

i just gotta say, i totally agree with all the posters who say no, it is not okay. i would be incredibly surprised if he didn't wean. he may even reject you outright when you get back because he is mad at you for leaving him. i can't think of a possible situation where i wouldn't be able to bring a baby to visit relatives. and traveling with a b/f 6 month old is EASY. just bring dipes and clothes to change on the plane. he will nurse most of the plane ride and since last years debacle about nursing on planes, no one willl bat an eye.
what is the reason yuor sister doesn't want to see him? is she going into surgery adn wants you to take care of her? then bring mom or dh and have them help you. at this point in your babe's life, he is your first priority. sorry if yuo don't like to hear that, but he is only 6 months and it is true. for a baby that young you disappearing for the weekend will be akin to you dying. he doesn't understand that you will be back.
even if i was having surgery and was required to stay in the hospital for two days i would have someoone bring my baby as soon as i was out of surgery and keep them there with me as long as possible.


----------



## prancie

nak

take the baby or don't go


----------



## shayinme

Quote:


Originally Posted by *artgoddess* 
no need to apologize. I just think you are coming from a totally different world than 99% of the women on this site. Do you subscribe to Mothering magazine? The magazine that launched this discussion board? It promotes attachment parenting, and a need to get away from your children is nearly as opposite an ideal as you can get to Attachment Parenting.

Best of luck to you and your babe.









: Jodie, hi! I have been a parent for 16 years now and I need/want/like my time as much as anyone but I think the other posters have given you some good information. Mothering does promote attachment and while no one is saying you cannot take time away, at 6 mos old barring a life/death or employment situation, I think most Mamas here would opt not to leave such a young child. You may want to take a look around at the site and get a sense of what this community is about.









Shay


----------



## MichelleAnnette

I think if you WANT to leave your baby for a weekend, you already don't have the mother-infant attachment that MDC promotes and therefore don't understand "what the big deal is" about your baby needing you.


----------



## Luvourlives

Whether you are 100% ap or not, I think (to answer your question directly) the biggest concern is the likelihood of babe rejecting the breast and supply issues to overcome on return even if there is no rejection. So in this case you need to consider the effect this might have on your child's health/ nutrition (not to mention your wallet and convenience).


----------



## finn'smama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thismama* 
I wouldn't leave a 6 month old for the weekend, nursing or not but especially nursing. I also wouldn't put a babe on formula to get a weekend away. Take your baby with you, that's what you do when you have an infant IMO.









:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 
its always easier for me to just take the baby.

i dont like pumping though. i wouldnt choose to feed my baby formula unless it was an extreme case.

and that.

Personally, i would _maybe_ consider _one_ night once babe was a year old. No way at 6 months...

A


----------



## Kiddoson

As I sit here and nurse my 6 month old I know without a doubt he would NOT be ok without me. he loves DH but sometimes only mama will do.

My head spins at the thought of SWITCHING to formula so I could go away for a weekend.....







:


----------



## bri276

Jodie maybe some further information on breastfeeding would help make your decision. I think fully understanding the risks of disrupting the breastfeeding relationship isn't possible unless you understand the benefits of bf'ing your little one, which I commend you for doing!







But six months is really too young to wean. Here are a couple of links that could help- the longer you breastfeed, the more benefits there are for you AND your baby-

http://www.promom.org/101/

http://www.fresnofamily.com/articles...urlanguage.htm

http://www.parentingweb.com/lounge/dw_wean.htm

And if you do choose to go, this site should help you figure out how much to pump before and during your trip:

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/index.html

However, if you are gone the whole weekend, and want to be successful with bf'ing, you're going to need to be pumping about six times a day, 20 minutes each time, just to maintain your supply and avoid mastitis or clogged ducts (which would ruin the wkend anyways!) So, I think it would be easier to bring the baby or have your sister come to you. Pumping sucks, I know all too well. The break won't feel worth it if you come home to a baby who has reflux, allergies, and gets ear infections from formula.


----------



## LokiPuck

I would take the baby. Infants are soo portable. You just need a bag packed with extra clothes and dipes. No need to worry about food since you are the food source.
Even if I needed to get away to visit family, I would be miserable without my baby. I miss him like crazy and wouldn't enjoy the time away at all.
And I know it's hard, but like other PPs said, they don't stop needing you just b/c you need a break.


----------



## rmzbm

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LokiPuck* 
I would be miserable without my baby. I miss him like crazy and wouldn't enjoy the time away at all.











And I don't really understand the "break from being a mom" part.







You're still his mom...and responsible for him, even from a distance.

You just may well be the mom of a very scared, confused & lonely boy.


----------



## mommajb

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alegna* 
We all need to re-charge. The problem is that *baby* doesn't get a break from being *baby* while you take a break from being mummy.

So as parents we owe it to our infants to take their NEEDS into consideration over our wants.

There are ways to take breaks and still be respectful of our childrens' *needs*

That is what is being suggested here.

-Angela

This is so well put. Do you ever tire of hearing that? I hope you don't mind if I use this logic/phrasing with other mothers that 'need a break' as I have struggled with a respectful way to convey my pov.


----------



## all in green

From reading some of the OPs posts in other threads I get the idea that she would like to "party" (for lack of a better word) for a few days. In that case it's probably better she leave the baby with her partner, who presumably will not be indulging in hallucinogens while caring for him.

Jodie, after my DD was born I had myriad medical issues including surgery and hospital stays that prevented me from nursing her for several one week stretches of time. She was about 6 months old during one of these nursing breaks. I was able to maintain my milk supply each time by pumping and dumping, but it was HARD. She went back to the breast easily once I was able to nurse again, but I was never physically separated from her for more than a few hours at a time. HTH.


----------



## txdancer

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MichelleAnnette* 
It's a mother's responsibility to be with her baby all the time. That is just what having a baby is about. I bring my baby everywhere, as I'm sure many mamas here do. I would be so sad if I left my baby for a weekend. He would not understand that I am leaving for a few days and then coming home. For all he knows, I'm leaving him forever. My baby deserves to be with me all the time, just like I was with my mother all the time as a baby.

I have read and re-read this comment, and every single time it really hurts me and makes me upset. There are women on this site who are WOHM's, and that doesn't mean that they are bad people. Most Americans get 6-8 weeks off for maternity leave, and then they have to leave their child in someone else's care. That doesn't mean that they don't love their babies.

To the OP- Good luck with your trip! I don't know if you said if you were already using bottles for feedings, but if you aren't you might start. I know some babies need to try a few different kinds before they find the ones that fit their mouths.


----------



## Couz

Quote:


Originally Posted by *txdancer* 
I have read and re-read this comment, and every single time it really hurts me and makes me upset. There are women on this site who are WOHM's, and that doesn't mean that they are bad people. Most Americans get 6-8 weeks off for maternity leave, and then they have to leave their child in someone else's care. That doesn't mean that they don't love their babies.

I have to agree 100%. Although I wouldn't choose to be away from my baby for a weekend at 6 months, I will be going back to work when my baby is 6 months old. My husband is going to be a SAHP. I am already dreading having to go back-- even with pumping and flex hours I know it won't be the same. But this thread is making me feel like crap. Thanks. Good to know that apparently you can't be "AP" and the primary breadwinner.







:


----------



## rrible

I'm going to give a slightly different perspective here... While long absences from young nurslings isn't ideal, 48 hours isn't the end of a nursing relationship and if you think you'll be able to come back a happier, more refreshed mom, that's great. Since my little one was 8 weeks old, In addition to working full time, have to periodically - maybe once every 6 weeks or so - be away from baby for 36 hours. I pumped a lot, took fenugreek and spent lots of time with my baby before and after, but at 17 months, we still have a strong, great nursing relationship. I agree with the pumping ahead of time and pumping while on your trip to keep up your supply, but i think that 36 - 48 hours away for a single instance with a 6 month old baby is totally do-able. (that being said, because i was away for work so much, i still haven't left baby overnight for "fun" but that's not the point.)

enjoy your weekend!


----------



## clutterbug

I can't speak for PP (although one did specifically mention employment as a situation where separation can't be helped - I am paraphrasing that!) but I don't think WOHM is incompatible with AP at all. I commend those moms who have such short mat leaves and manage somehow to stay on top of pumping to continue providing milk for baby, it is amazing! The OP's question wasn't about leaving a 6 month old for a trip to a day spa (roughly equivalent to a day of work outside the home), it was about flying out of town for a whole weekend...two very different situations.

I recognize that some WOHMs have to make business trips so that might be more equivalent to the OP topic, and maybe in that case in an ideal world, there would be a way to work baby into the trip. But if not...you gotta do what you gotta do! And besides, there is still a big difference between a trip you have to do for work (especially since baby would already be pretty adjusted to the idea of having mom away at least for the daytimes) and taking a trip for fun.


----------



## Mbella

I agree with txdancer and Couz that that comment made me feel like crap!









I am a WOHM. I never thought I would be and I am still trying to find a way to stay home with my dd and Baby #2. Right now I can't stay home and it breaks my heart everyday I go to work.







I still love my daughter and it does not make me less of a parent!!!

I do know that *I* could never leave dd for a weekend and she is 23 months old. I have never even left her overnight. I am heartbroken that during my hospital birth I will not be able to be with her overnight.


----------



## hollytheteacher

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rmzbm* 









And I don't really understand the "break from being a mom" part.







You're still his mom...and responsible for him, even from a distance.

You just may well be the mom of a very scared, confused & lonely boy.









yep! i can't even imagine leaving my 6 mo old not even for 1 day!


----------



## MamieCole

To me, just the title of your post is enough to make me scratch my head:

"Leaving a breastfed baby for a weekend..."

I don't think there are many, if any, mamas here who would CHOOSE to do that barring an unavoidable emergency situation.

And when you complete the sentence, "...so that I can get away for a party weekend with my sister." Well, that just makes my heart break for your baby. Not only because you are leaving him for so long, but because you have this "need" to "get away" from him. Every mama needs and deserves a recharge...a break...a helping hand...some pampering. It's important that you feel good and take care of yourself so that you can take care of your babies. But that can be done in a thousand different ways, none of which involve leaving your 6 month-old for an entire weekend.

If this trip is the only solution you will accept, then why can't your sister come visit you where you live? If you need to be out of the house so you can really feel like you are "escaping", get a hotel room. That would still allow you to go out and party yet be close enough to check in once or twice a day to nurse and comfort your baby.


----------



## onlyboys

For those WOHMs, I think there is a huge monumental difference between leaving your child for work, when there's no hope of taking him or her, and leaving them for fun, when it would be perfectly okay to take them logistically.

I think your breastmilk will probably survive, and that your baby (once he or she reaquaints to you) will probably nurse again too. But to me, the risk/benefit potential really doesn't swing to the side of going. Trust me, I know the need to get away. I know it well, and sometimes even getting away for an hour or two will make all the difference in the world for a stressed out mom. I would try something like that before I would leave my infant to go and have fun.


----------



## nummies

Quote:


Originally Posted by *onlyboys* 
For those WOHMs, I think there is a huge monumental difference between leaving your child for work, when there's no hope of taking him or her, and leaving them for fun, when it would be perfectly okay to take them logistically.


Yes, this. I don't think that anyone is saying that WOHM are bad mothers or are less AP. I don't even know where that idea came from.







: Working to support your family and _choosing_ to be away from your baby for an entire weekend are two different matters. Apples to oranges kind of thing.

OP- Truly, I would never leave my baby for that long. There are other ways to recharge and connect with your sister that don't involve leaving your child who is dependent on you. It sounds like you wanted someone to pat you on the head and tell you that its fine. Well, I don't think that you will find that here. I just can't fathom choosing to give my child formula for no other reason than my convenience. Sorry but I think that is purely selfish. If you really are going to go, leave some breastmilk.


----------



## CertifiedHealthnut

I personally don’t know of anyone who ever left a baby for a weekend. I have heard of overnight though. if you are breastfeeding fulltime, it’s also a comforting thing for the baby, not just food. so baby will not get the same thing from formula and/or food. Also, if you will be too far away to come back in case of emergency, it’s borderline cruelty.


----------



## _betsy_

I wouldn't do it. I have taken baby (alone, just she and I) on a flight at 7 months old, and that was actually really easy. Once she got mobile it's been much harder.

Why can't baby go with you?


----------



## artgoddess

Quote:


Originally Posted by *_betsy_* 
I wouldn't do it. I have taken baby (alone, just she and I) on a flight at 7 months old, and that was actually really easy. Once she got mobile it's been much harder.

Why can't baby go with you?

she clarified earlier she wants to get away from her baby, that is the reason for the trip.


----------



## KBinSATX

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thismama* 
I wouldn't leave a 6 month old for the weekend, nursing or not but especially nursing. I also wouldn't put a babe on formula to get a weekend away. Take your baby with you, that's what you do when you have an infant IMO.

Those were my thoughts too. My son is 21 months old and I couldn't imagine leaving him for a weekend.


----------



## DragonflyBlue

I did it. Both baby and I did fine.

Part of being a good mother is making sure you don't get burnt out. Once you hit that wall it is hard as hell to fight your way back.

Just because *A* would not do it, does not mean *B* is a bad mother. She's just different from you. And that's okay. Each of us has to follow our own path in parenting.


----------



## _betsy_

Ah, there's 2 pages there I missed. Oops.


----------



## readytobedone

i wouldn't do it, but i have a friend who did something similar when her son was about 10 months old. everyone was fine and they are still nursing at 1 year.

i wouldn't be able to sleep or function if i tried to go on a vacation without my baby. not saying it's right or wrong, but i can hardly sleep or function without my DH, and without both of them, i'd be screwed


----------



## Danielle13

well in 10 days I'm going to an unavoidable confrence. I've been pumping and saving for about 2 months now and will pump every 2 hours while I'm away. I'm totally saving my milk! my baby is almost 5 months and I'm going to be so sad while I'm away


----------



## redsfree

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DragonflyBlue* 

Part of being a good mother is making sure you don't get burnt out. Once you hit that wall it is hard as hell to fight your way back.

Just because *A* would not do it, does not mean *B* is a bad mother. She's just different from you. And that's okay. Each of us has to follow our own path in parenting.









The idea of getting away for a party weekend is strange to me. I can't leave (and haven't left) our 16 mo DD for longer than a couple of hours. Otherwise, I would go NUTS! With that said though, I keep coming back to the fact that everyone needs to work out their own parenting. And what works for me doesn't alway work for everyone else. I may feel refreshed after a two-hour movie or dinner and then RACE to get home, but that might not be enough for every mama.


----------



## dawningmama

I did it, with all 3 of my kids I think (I've a terrible memory, sorry). My middle was the most resistant to the bottle and ended up being spoonfed expressed milk, which she really enjoyed. There wasn't much affect on the nursing relationship at all, but the oldest and youngest were already used to bottles b/c I WOH.

Reading here, it would seem my nursing experiences are not the norm though. Once a babe was that old, I would not have even needed to do much more than hand pump a couple of times a day to keep my supply up in baby's absense. For me and my babies, the nursing relationship and our bond was just not so fragile.


----------



## TheAJs

Quote:

I think if you WANT to leave your baby for a weekend, you already don't have the mother-infant attachment that MDC promotes and therefore don't understand "what the big deal is" about your baby needing you..
I agree.

And also.. as a WOHM, I must say I wasn't at all offended by the comments here.







Personally, being away from my DD for just the time I'm at work has been so hard for me and even at 11 months, there are times I miss her so intensely that I cry. It happened to me today! The thought of being away from her for a whole weekend makes my stomach do flip-flops! I know it would be even harder on her and it breaks my heart to ever think of her sad for even a second.

I guess that's just me, though.


----------



## barnfield

To the OP,

I think you might be looking for some technical answers about what, if any, impact the weekend trip will have on your nursing - I'd suggest checking out the KELLYMOM website and discussion forums!

There are many great lactation experts on there who can guide you.

KELLYMOM is a great nursing resource.

Also, try to phone a local laction consultant in your area - many do free consults. The ones at my local hospital/birthing inn have free walk-in hours once a week. It is definitely worth checking out.

Best of luck.


----------



## ruhbehka

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jodie84* 
I'd be leaving him with his father so it's not _quite_ abandonment. He's fine about DP putting him to sleep too.

FWIW, I took DS (when he was about 9 mos old) out of state for a long weekend, to visit my family. He was away from DH for that time. When DH returned, we realized that it had been really, really hard on DS. He ignored DH for quite a long time when he saw him again, and seemed almost angry with him. Or confused by him.

In any case, DH and I decided neither of us will leave a child that age again even for 24 hours. It really was disturbing to us both. I can't imagine what it would have been like if I were the one who left!


----------



## KirstenMary

Quote:


Originally Posted by *artgoddess* 
she clarified earlier she wants to get away from her baby, that is the reason for the trip.

There is no way I would go away without my 6 month old baby, nursing or not. And I don't buy the "I know he will be fine" rationalization because there is really no definitive way of knowing this. None whatsoever.

Who is your true priority? You? Or your child?


----------



## User101

This thread is closed pending review. Thank you for your patience!


----------



## User101

Reopening, with a gentle reminder of both the User Agreement:

Quote:

MDC serves an online community of parents, families, and parent, child and family advocates considering, learning, practicing, and advocating attachment parenting and natural family living. Our discussions concern the real world of mothering and are first and foremost, for support, information, and community. Mothering invites you to read and participate in the discussions. In doing so we ask that you agree to respect and uphold the integrity of this community. Through your direct or indirect participation here you agree to make a personal effort to maintain a comfortable and respectful atmosphere for our guests and members.
and Mothering's Web Statement of Purpose

Quote:

Mothering is both a fierce advocate of the needs and rights of the child and a gentle supporter of the parents, and we encourage decision-making that considers the needs of all family members. We explore the reality of human relationships in the family setting, recognizing that raising the heirs of our civilization well is the prerequisite for a healthy society.
If you feel someone has posted outside of MDC's User Agreement or stated purpose, please report the post rather than taking on the member(s) yourself. This is also in the User Agreement:

Quote:

Any user who feels that a posted message is objectionable is encouraged to contact us immediately by email or private message. We will make every effort to remove objectionable messages within a reasonable time frame, if we determine removal is necessary. If you feel another member is behaving in a manner that is in violation of these rules, do not take matters into your own hands. Let us try to resolve the situation.
Finally,

Quote:

Mothering.com is the website of natural family living and advocates natural solutions to parenting challenges. We host discussion of nighttime parenting, loving discipline, natural birth, homebirth, successful breastfeeding, alternative and complementary home remedies, informed consent, and many other topics from a natural point of view.


----------



## delicious

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dawningmama* 
For me and my babies, the nursing relationship and our bond was just not so fragile.

:/ i wouldn't have left my kids for an entire weekend at that age, either, but i don't really consider that our bond or nursing relationship was fragile. it is/was really good.









i have to say as mothers, we all do what we need to do. if your baby will take bottles and you feel ok with it, then do it. i don't think it is a choice i would make, but it is a personal choice, i think.


----------



## ~Heyokha~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DragonflyBlue* 
I did it. Both baby and I did fine.

Part of being a good mother is making sure you don't get burnt out. Once you hit that wall it is hard as hell to fight your way back.

Just because *A* would not do it, does not mean *B* is a bad mother. She's just different from you. And that's okay. Each of us has to follow our own path in parenting.


ITA

I personally would not leave for the weekend (not saying I wouldn't want to....) how will the baby tolerate it? dd1 would have probably been fine. dd2 no way!

I love MDC, I love mother mag.....both have really open my eyes to many things. but it seems that if you don't fit the criteria perfectly then your out of the 'group'. We need to support each other as women and mothers. Mothering is all about NFL/AP, and thats great we should advocate that but how about being more gentle with new comers? Some of the comments seem to come from a more harsh, judgmental place, than from a concerned supportive place.


----------



## jodie84

I haven't checked back on this thread for a couple of days, but I really want to say thankyou mamas for your kind words


----------



## Treasuremapper

I'm sorry, I think that your baby is just too young to be without you, whether or not the baby is breastfed.

I support the mama as a person and a mother, and part of that is helping her work through the issue she presented. On any mainstream board, everyone would have said "sure, go, have fun" however, this is an AP board so the opinions are going to be those of AP mamas.

The breastfeeding issue is a red herring, the separation issue is what is really going on, imho. Very respectfully, very gently, I hope OP can understand that there may be some underlying problem going on in her relationship with her baby that needs healing. I don't know what is causing her to want that sort of distance from her young baby, and what is going on in her life, but this is different from what many mothers experience in terms of bonding. A trip away is not the solution here for whatever the underlying issues may be.


----------



## User101

Let's stop accusing members of calling other members "bad mothers," OK? No one has actually done it, and if they did, you need to report the post rather than chastising other members. We can all have our own opinions without resorting to namecalling and accusations.

/mod hat off


----------



## blueridgewoman

I was away from my baby twice, both times when I got a particularly bad case of mastitis and had no choice but to go to the hospital. It was cold and flu season, so I didn't want the baby coming into the hospital at all. One was for a day, the other was for two.

Honestly, it was total hell. I missed her desperately, every second. She lost weight because she wanted to bf and I wasn't there, though she did eventually take bottles (of bm). She periodically cried inconsolably, and when I came home, she fed frantically for hours. I felt terrible for what I put her through.

Now granted, she wasn't 6 months, but she also didn't have the level of awareness that a 6mo had yet.

Frankly, the thought of doing that to another human being just so I could party or cut loose makes me feel sick. Your son doesn't understand anything about the situation but that mommy isn't there anymore. That's all.


----------



## MyLilPwny

After reading through this thread, now I feel even worse about my situation, because I'm basically leaving my baby EVERY week for a "whole weekend" because I have to drop her off at my parents' house on Sunday night while I go work 8 hours per day on Mondays and Tuesdays and then I finally get reunited with my baby on Tuesday night. Meanwhile, my boobs are plugged up and engorged the whole time and my breastpump is ineffective for solving that. It sucks. I don't want to do it. I feel sorry for my baby, feel sorry for myself, feel sorry for my parents who have to look after her, feel sorry for my husband who has to help suck on my boobs to unplug my ducts that happen those days because I don't have a baby to suck and them. And I feel sorry about the driving that everyone has to do. My parents offered to bring the baby back on Tuesdays, which is nice of them and my husband is taking them up on that offer so he doesn't have to drive over there after a long day of work on Tuesdays.


----------



## thismama

Can you not get your baby back after work each night? Sunday to Tuesday is a long time, especially every week IMO.


----------



## momuveight2B

No. This is part of accepting the responsibility of being a mom. The needs of your child must come first for many more years. You can go anywhere you want just take him or her with you. I found jobs where my child could come with or I made do on a lot less and stayed home. I cleaned a lot of houses when I was younger and did a lot of babysitting. Not high pay but my child was with me and I did not have to stress over day care arrangements.


----------



## boopie2001

I think my biggest concern would be if your lo has reached the separation anxiety milestone. If so, then I may think twice about leaving your baby for a weekend.

The other issues is the pumping. I would be concerned that you may not pump as much while gone. I know that my vacations away from home killed my breastfeeding relationship (I could not get the babies away from family members enough to keep my already low supply up and I didn't pump as much as I did at home). I really regret losing my supply and relying on formula. I really miss the nursing bond I had with the babies. Plus, formula is so damn expensive! Try to keep the breastmilk coming even if it is through the bottle.

I understand that there is some times when you really want to get away (i have twins







). If you really, really want and need that time away, I would start pumping now and build up a really good large stash (more than you think you will need). Also, if you leave the baby with your husband, make sure you leave something with your scent on it (sleep with the item for several nights- maybe a week) so the baby has something to remind him/her of you. I would definitely not stay gone for more than 48 max. There is research that shows babies can become depressed if their primary is gone longer than a few days (not sure how many days it is exactly).

I hope I was some help. I'm not trying to guilt you (we get enough of that from society), just wanted to offer some support. Take care.


----------



## MommytoTwo

Quote:

research that shows babies can become depressed if their primary is gone longer than a few day
Do you know where I might find that info? I would like to read that.

Oh i found a bit of it - never mind!!! Thanks


----------



## MeepyCat

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Treasuremapper* 
The breastfeeding issue is a red herring, the separation issue is what is really going on, imho. Very respectfully, very gently, I hope OP can understand that there may be some underlying problem going on in her relationship with her baby that needs healing. I don't know what is causing her to want that sort of distance from her young baby, and what is going on in her life, but this is different from what many mothers experience in terms of bonding. A trip away is not the solution here for whatever the underlying issues may be.

I gotta say, I think you can love your baby and *still* want a weekend away. It's not about wounds in your relationship with your child, it can be about the person you were before having children, the person you remain regardless of how many children you have or how much you love them.

And that being the case, we don't know *what* the issue is that makes the OP want a weekend away (and it may be as simple as "fun with my sister", which is, IMO, not a trivial thing to want, nor a thing that should necessarily be stuffed in a closet for a few years), and a weekend away might, indeed, be the perfect solution.

To the OP: I think you can totally maintain breastfeeding. Pump, store, pump while you're gone, have your DP start giving the occasional bottle of expressed breast milk now, once a day or so, so that y'all can work out the kinks in bottlefeeding ahead of time. If you turn out to have one of those babies that just won't take a bottle, then I'm afraid this trip is doomed, but otherwise, it seems fine.


----------



## Jacksmum8

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MeepyCat* 
I gotta say, I think you can love your baby and *still* want a weekend away. It's not about wounds in your relationship with your child, it can be about the person you were before having children, the person you remain regardless of how many children you have or how much you love them.

And that being the case, we don't know *what* the issue is that makes the OP want a weekend away (and it may be as simple as "fun with my sister", which is, IMO, not a trivial thing to want, nor a thing that should necessarily be stuffed in a closet for a few years), and a weekend away might, indeed, be the perfect solution.

To the OP: I think you can totally maintain breastfeeding. Pump, store, pump while you're gone, have your DP start giving the occasional bottle of expressed breast milk now, once a day or so, so that y'all can work out the kinks in bottlefeeding ahead of time. If you turn out to have one of those babies that just won't take a bottle, then I'm afraid this trip is doomed, but otherwise, it seems fine.









:

I think it's a tough thing to judge and I don't want to do that. It wouldn't be for me to leave a babe that small for a weekend away but I also don't think their breastfeeding and attatchment relationship is doomed either which is what the OP was asking about. I don't think she was really wanted opinions on whether or not she should go away for a weekend, and from what I read she wanted some support.


----------



## KirstenMary

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jacksmum8* 







:

I think it's a tough thing to judge and I don't want to do that. It wouldn't be for me to leave a babe that small for a weekend away but I also don't think their breastfeeding and attatchment relationship is doomed either which is what the OP was asking about. I don't think she was really wanted opinions on whether or not she should go away for a weekend, *and from what I read she wanted some support*.

I agree that she wanted support, but frankly, this is not the place to blindly expect that, especially when one posts something that is almost the antithesis of APing.


----------



## MeepyCat

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KirstenMary* 
I agree that she wanted support, but frankly, this is not the place to blindly expect that, especially when one posts something that is almost the antithesis of APing.

I think the support she was looking for was advice on maintaining a breastfeeding relationship in the face of a short separation from her baby. That issue has been pretty completely sidelined by the discussion of how non-AP the short separation is, but I think that the maintenance of the nursing relationship is a very AP thing to want.


----------



## Jacksmum8

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MeepyCat* 
I think the support she was looking for was advice on maintaining a breastfeeding relationship in the face of a short separation from her baby. That issue has been pretty completely sidelined by the discussion of how non-AP the short separation is, but I think that the maintenance of the nursing relationship is a very AP thing to want.


----------



## thismama

I think it is okay to offer advice on maintaining the bf relationship while away, and also advice on whether it really is consistent with AP to leave a young nursing baby for a weekend. IMO both are valid.

I really don't agree with the suggestions that a mama who loves her baby should not want time away, I think that is really quite ridiculous. But I do think it is valid to suggest that as primary caregiver and *the* food source, mama's desire for time away is superceded by baby's need to be with mama at this age.


----------



## alegna

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thismama* 
I really don't agree with the suggestions that a mama who loves her baby should not want time away, I think that is really quite ridiculous. But I do think it is valid to suggest that as primary caregiver and *the* food source, mama's desire for time away is superceded by baby's need to be with mama at this age.









:

I think that at this age a mama's want to be away can be addressed in smaller bites in such a way that the baby's *needs* are still respected.

-Angela


----------



## DragonflyBlue

Meepy, can I tell you that I







your responses on this thread?

I am one of those mom's who has taken weekends or trips without a nursing babe, and or toddlers. My mental health depends on my getting alone/down time. I *have* to have it. When I don't get that break, I become a piss poor mother.

I love my choldren with all my heart, they are my world, my everything, all I am, all I have, all I will ever be. But I am still me. And if I don't take care of me, I cannot take care of them.

I've done the not leaving bit. It so severely affected my mood, my mental stability that I was of no good to anyone, least of all my kids.

For me to be a good parent, I need that time to recharge. It is as vital to me as air.

My kids never had a problem with my little trips, be it for a few hours, two days or in one case, an entire week. (and yes, I was nursing then) If parent A does not feel comfortable with it, don't do it. But parent B should not be judged because you don't live inside her head. You don't know what struggles she may be dealing with. That weekend away to you may be seen as harmful when the reality is, it may have been a lifesaver for her.


----------



## thismama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DragonflyBlue* 
If parent A does not feel comfortable with it, don't do it. But parent B should not be judged because you don't live inside her head. You don't know what struggles she may be dealing with. That weekend away to you may be seen as harmful when the reality is, it may have been a lifesaver for her.

This is an interesting issue to me. I think that yes, it might be a lifesaver for someone and we don't live inside anyone else's head. But CIO might be a lifesaver for someone, spanking might be a lifesaver, etc etc. I do think there is a place to say certain parenting practices are not ideal, or not consistent with AP.


----------



## Jacksmum8

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KirstenMary* 
I agree that she wanted support, but frankly, this is not the place to blindly expect that, especially when one posts something that is almost the antithesis of APing.

From what I understand, APing is not about being with your child 24/7, it's about both parents taking an active role in responding to their childs needs. From what I understand, babe will be with his father, who can practice ap pricinples as well, as can grandparents and caregivers.


----------



## justmama

You are only 20 weeks pregnant. Baby isn't even here yet. See how you feel when the baby actually comes. I wouldn't put the baby on formula to have a weekend away. If you really do want to leave, try pumping once everyday for a month to have a bunch of milk set aside in the freezer for dad or the sitter to feed the baby. But I think that once the baby comes you may see how hard it would be to leave a baby, a breastfed baby no less, for an entire weekend. No criticism, just advice of a been-there-done-that mom.


----------



## thismama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jacksmum8* 
From what I understand, APing is not about being with your child 24/7, it's about both parents taking an active role in responding to their childs needs. From what I understand, babe will be with his father, who can practice ap pricinples as well, as can grandparents and caregivers.

No, IMO fathers and other caregivers simply cannot replace mama, the food source, when a baby is young. For short periods yes, but not for days at a time. It would be real pretty and tidy if it worked like that, with the way we choose to structure our families, but it's not reality IMO.


----------



## PPK

Ditto to Meepy's posts!

To answer the OP's question, I'd begin pumping now and see how much you can even pump. Some moms (like myself) just don't pump very well, and in that case, yes you'd most likely affect your milk supply.

I personally wouldn't leave my 6 month old for a weekend, but have no right to judge another's situation. I think its more important for a baby to have a positive, happy mama (who maybe needs a weekend out every 6 months), vs a tired, resentful mom. Its ridiculous to tout a "one size fits all" approach to anything, IMO.

Sure, a mom can wear her baby 24/7 and be as 'attatched' as one can be physically, yet be a million miles away emotionally. Another mom might have so much love and security in her relationship to her baby that a weekend away will not diminish that for them. Its all in the mom's projection.


----------



## Jacksmum8

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thismama* 
No, IMO fathers and other caregivers simply cannot replace mama, the food source, when a baby is young. For short periods yes, but not for days at a time. It would be real pretty and tidy if it worked like that, with the way we choose to structure our families, but it's not reality IMO.

I disagree.


----------



## thismama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jacksmum8* 
I disagree.

Well good for you, and have at it. But when mama is nursing a young baby, it makes no sense to me to suggest she can just take off for two days and dad and gramma will fill in just fine. YMMV.


----------



## Jacksmum8

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thismama* 
Well good for you, and have at it. But when mama is nursing a young baby, it makes no sense to me to suggest she can just take off for two days and dad and gramma will fill in just fine. YMMV.


I think that's exactly right. You said "take off" for a few days. I think it's more about why this mama wants time away rather than the time away itself. If she needed to be hospitalized I don't think this thread would've gotten so heated. Again, she asked about sustaining breastfeeding during an absence which I think is possible, if fact I know it is because I know many people who have done it without major problems. Would I do it? No. Can I refrain from judgement, absolutely.


----------



## JamieBrewHa

I didn't make it through all the posts.... but wow.







:

Here's my 2 cents.

I left my DS who was 100% breastfeed at 4.5 months. It was not for a life-threatening emergency or anything of that effect. One of my best friends was graduating from law school and I wanted to be there for her. Although I'd flown many places with DS before that point, this just wasn't a trip that I thought I could handle with him. It was 48 hours.

I had plenty of frozen milk and pumped religiously while I was gone. He wasn't thrilled with taking a bottle (never has been) the first few feedings, but his daddy loved him and cared for him and he did fine and was relatively happy the time I was gone. He was very happy to see his momma when I got home... and went back to nursing fine. I also brought a stash of milk home with me.

I honestly never even considered that I was not AP for taking this trip, but obviously there are plenty of mamas here who think that.

As for the breastfeeding relationship - I would *NOT* have taken this trip if the option was to give formula. But it is very possible to continue your breastfeeding relationship during a short absence. Does your DS take a bottle? How often? There's always the option of syringe or cup feeding as well.

I will be leaving my now almost 14 month old DS who is still nursing for the 2nd time in his life for 48 hours next month. I really struggled with the decision this time as I did the first time, but I feel DS's needs will be met well by DH. Actually, this time the decision was harder than the first because I feel my nursing relationship is MORE in jeopardy this time than the first since at 5 months DS was much less at risk for weaning. But anyways - sorry that is OT. And I know many moms here won't approve, but I wanted to share my experience with the OP.


----------



## Jacksmum8

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JamieBrewHa* 
I didn't make it through all the posts.... but wow.







:

Here's my 2 cents.

I left my DS who was 100% breastfeed at 4.5 months. It was not for a life-threatening emergency or anything of that effect. One of my best friends was graduating from law school and I wanted to be there for her. Although I'd flown many places with DS before that point, this just wasn't a trip that I thought I could handle with him. It was 48 hours.

I had plenty of frozen milk and pumped religiously while I was gone. He wasn't thrilled with taking a bottle (never has been) the first few feedings, but his daddy loved him and cared for him and he did fine and was relatively happy the time I was gone. He was very happy to see his momma when I got home... and went back to nursing fine. I also brought a stash of milk home with me.

I honestly never even considered that I was not AP for taking this trip, but obviously there are plenty of mamas here who think that.

As for the breastfeeding relationship - I would *NOT* have taken this trip if the option was to give formula. But it is very possible to continue your breastfeeding relationship during a short absence. Does your DS take a bottle? How often? There's always the option of syringe or cup feeding as well.

I will be leaving my now almost 14 month old DS who is still nursing for the 2nd time in his life for 48 hours next month. I really struggled with the decision this time as I did the first time, but I feel DS's needs will be met well by DH. Actually, this time the decision was harder than the first because I feel my nursing relationship is MORE in jeopardy this time than the first since at 5 months DS was much less at risk for weaning. But anyways - sorry that is OT. And I know many moms here won't approve, but I wanted to share my experience with the OP.

I was really worried when I left DS the first time right before his third birthday. I figured he would be weaned when I got home. I left on Monday morning before he woke up and came back Wednesday morning. I was so stressed during the entire trip. He fared much better that I. When he and his dad picked me up at the airport he was much more interested in the baggage carousel than me being home







When we got back to the house his first mission was to have a nurse and he went right back into his routine, although he asked to go back to the airport for a few weeks after that.


----------



## Jacksmum8

woops, double post


----------



## JamieBrewHa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jacksmum8* 
I was really worried when I left DS the first time right before his third birthday. I figured he would be weaned when I got home. I left on Monday morning before he woke up and came back Wednesday morning. I was so stressed during the entire trip. He fared much better that I. When he and his dad picked me up at the airport he was much more interested in the baggage carousel than me being home







When we got back to the house his first mission was to have a nurse and he went right back into his routine, although he asked to go back to the airport for a few weeks after that.

Thanks, that is encouraging!


----------



## thismama

I didn't nurse my DD for 3 days when she was 3.5 or so. Our nursing relationship resumed fine after that. But 6 months to 3 years old are completely different situations IMO. I don't think going away for 2 days means the end of a nursing relationship with a 6 month old, but I do think that is a risk, and I also think it is unfair to a young baby who is breastfed and (usually) cared for by a nursing mother to suddenly have that mother gone for two days and two nights. I think barring a serious need to be away, doing so is not an ethical or kind choice to make when you have a young baby. I think it is a disruption of the attachment relationship, and also of the baby's access to its food source.

And, I think it is okay to say that.


----------



## KirstenMary

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alegna* 







:

I think that at this age a mama's want to be away can be addressed in smaller bites in such a way that the baby's *needs* are still respected.

-Angela


----------

