# Amazed? Horrified? Shocked? Proud? (Long!)



## -Resque- (Aug 25, 2009)

My DSD, who is six, is picked up off the bus on Wednesdays by a friend of ours. He stays with her from 4 until 5:45 when I get home from work. She normally goes home with a classmate on Fridays, again from 4 until 5:45. This week, her friend had a doctor's appointment, and our friend said he would be more than happy to add a day. On Wednesday, as he was leaving, he told me, "See you Friday!" You can see where this is going, I'm sure...

I got home from work yesterday, and didn't notice his car outside. Not very strange, they will sometimes go to his house instead, to play video games. There was a note on the garage door, which I assumed would let me know the pickup or drop-off plan. Instead, the note read, "I'm home. From HA." (Her initials). STILL not suspecting anything, I walked inside, to find her on the couch, watching TV. She turned to look at me, and said, in a perfectly calm, cheerful voice, "Nobody was there to get me off the bus, so I walked home by myself. I'm in first grade, so I'm old enough."

Now, this is actually true. Her school's policy is not to let kindergartners off the bus unless there is a parent or babysitting waiting for them. If no one is there, they will be driven back to school and their emergency contacts will be called. After kindergarten... fair game, I guess.

Here's what she told me, as I stood there in a state of shock... No one was there to get her, so she thought maybe someone would be waiting for her at home. (This has never happened. Someone has ALWAYS been there to get her off the bus.) She walked home, and only got confused once as to which house we lived in. (They are town homes, four connected, and I still get confused sometimes as to which we live in). She used our garage door code to get in the house, and made sure to thank me for teaching it to her last week. She says she walked in, realized no one was home, and just... decided to go about her business, I guess, secure in the knowledge that, "When the clock said 5:45, I knew you would get home." She realized I wouldn't see our friend's car outside, and didn't want me to leave, hence the note on the garage door, which she said she put there after changing her clothes and realizing no one was coming home for a while. She then shut the garage door after herself. She had to jump to reach it, and has never done it before.

After changing her clothes, she did her homework, then she turned on the TV, which she had to stand on the couch to do, because she's too short for the signal on the remote to connect with the box. She has never in her life turned the TV on by herself. She watched TV for the next hour. Scooby Doo first, then Minute to Win it. She had not gotten a snack, because she couldn't open the applesauce by herself, she told me, and she didn't think it would be safe to use the microwave without me or her daddy being home.

So. In general, she is an amazingly mature, calm, and very smart kid. And never did I think, in a million years, she would have been able to do something like this. We have never gone over what to do in a situation like this, because... who would put a 6 year old in a situation like this?? She has been asking for about four months when she would be old enough to stay home alone. We told her we thought 10 would be a good age to try it for 20 minutes or so if we needed to go grocery shopping, but as the time got closer, we could reevaluate.

She wasn't scared, or worried. She trusted that I would come home to her, and she had enough self confidence to just go about our evening routine... by herself. She did mention she thought it would be a good idea for us to get a phone at home (we use our cell phones) because, "Then I could've called you to tell you to hurry up."

We will be getting a pre-paid cell phone tomorrow to keep at home, with our numbers programmed into it. As well as obviously more dependable child-care. When we finally got ahold of him at 10:30 last night, he had just... forgotten. And was very sorry. She wanted to know when she could do it again, and was disappointed to learn that 10 was still our answer.

When I think about all the things that COULD HAVE happened, well... I can't even go there. Mostly what I'm feeling right now is pride. We had, in no way, done anything to prepare her for this. She is the only child in our house, thus far, and it has now occurred to me... we don't really expect a lot out of her, other than cleaning up after herself. We haven't taught her how to do a whole lot in the way of looking after herself, and didn't really expect to for a while. We have never told her not to use the microwave by herself, or the important of "leaving a note." She just... knew. She knew what to do to take care of herself until we returned to take over.

Could your kids do this at 6? Should we have done more in the way of preparing her for something like this? What more should we do now? Also... I need a hug. Man that was scary.


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## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

She sounds very mature. I'm glad she was okay. That would have definitely freaked me out to think of my 6 yo home alone for an hour and 45 minutete - but your DD did really well. A phone would have been helpful so she could call you (or a trusted neighbor to call from/stay with), but really, it sounds like she knew just what to do to stay calm, happy, and safe.

I agree with you that 10 would be about the earliest I would consider short stints at home alone.


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## mummyofan (Jun 25, 2008)

Wow, you have one amazing child!
I'd be proud, too, and also annoyed, but not sure how much; it's human to forget something out of routing, but for a child.... someone elses?? If my friends ask me to help them out, I practically tattoo myself with reminders!!

Fabulous ending.

You're right, it's best not to go THERE!


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## JessicaS (Nov 18, 2001)

I would be proud of how well my child handled herself in such a situation and a bit horrified.

I agree about waiting until a child is ten or eleven to let them be at home by themselves for a bit. I think there are laws regarding that in some states.


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## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

My dd couldnt have done it at that age and not even at 9 which she is now. She would have been lost and terrified


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

All of the above.









Your DSD is AWESOME. Definitely a kid you can let stay home while you grocery shop and such as soon as her 10th birthday rolls around. (I'd even say 9 if it's legal in your state







)


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## 34me (Oct 2, 2006)

She must have felt so empowered. Now you can have whatever still drink you favor and take a deep breathe as you wait four years.


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## Red Pajama (Jun 11, 2007)

While you certainly don't want to put her in that situation on purpose, what a relief to know she is as capable as she is! In you place, I'd be very proud. Be sure to tell her.


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## Ornery (May 21, 2007)

Wow - that is amazing. I think my dd could do that (she is 6) but my oldest ds at 6 couldn't have. I have talked to my dd about what she needs to do if for some reason no one is there to get her off the bus (go down the list of safe neighbors until someone is home) but I can't imagine her actually having to go through it.


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## leighi123 (Nov 14, 2007)

I, and most of my friends, were allowed to be home alone at age 6 (this was overseas though, much safer than in the U.S. there)

My sister was allowed to stay home with me at 4-5, when I was 7-8.


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## seawind (Sep 28, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Red Pajama* 
While you certainly don't want to put her in that situation on purpose, what a relief to know she is as capable as she is! In you place, I'd be very proud. Be sure to tell her.

i agree. i understand all the conflicting emotions you are feeling, but it is also such a reassuring thing to know that your child is so mature and capable! she did great!


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## Dar (Apr 12, 2002)

Super for your little one. So good to know that she didn't panic and made good choices and took care of herself. Go her!

I think having a phone at home is a good idea, for whatever comes up... and I also agree with giving her more responsiblity, since she seems to want it and seems to be capable. Like... maybe she can get herself off the bus and walk herself home now, especially when you're there waiting for her. The school seems to think first graders are able to do this, and your DSD did just fine.

You could put some sort of a marker over your door to clarify which is right, too - I remember living in a townhouse complex when I was 4 and 5 and my father mounted an eagle sculture over the door the day we moved in, because all the doors looked the same. FWIW, I roamed the complex freely at 4 and 5, and handled small emergencies on my own. Back then (the 1970s) it apparently wasn't odd... I also walked to school for first grade by myself.


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## indie (Jun 16, 2003)

When my daughter rode the bus, I told her which neighbors houses she should go to if nobody was home. There were a few times I lost track of time and even though I was home I didn't make it outside in time. One of the other parents watched her go home and made sure I was there before leaving.


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## choli (Jun 20, 2002)

I think most kids could handle that at six. The current trend for infantilizing our kids does them no favors.


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## BAU3 (Dec 10, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *choli* 
I think most kids could handle that at six. The current trend for infantilizing our kids does them no favors.

When i look at the group of peers that my 6 yo has.. I'd guess that maybe a third of them could handle being alone.. and less than that could handle it as well as the op's dsd did.
Of course thats a very small sampling.


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## pigpokey (Feb 23, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *abimommy* 
I would be proud of how well my child handled herself in such a situation and a bit horrified.

I agree about waiting until a child is ten or eleven to let them be at home by themselves for a bit. I think there are laws regarding that in some states.

Really there are laws in I think 2 states. Kids can be home alone when they are ready. Clearly you had no plan to leave her alone nor would I latch-key my 6 year old but I'm privileged to not have that choice come up. One of my friends is a state legislator and said that the year her son was in 1st, one of the 1st graders walked home and stayed by himself until his mom got there.

I really think a lot of moms from other countries would think we're uptight ... as well as moms a few generations ago here. My older first cousin was latch keyed from 4 including while his mother was at work full time and he was not in school. Yeah that's another story.

You should be proud of her and of your parenting.


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## pigpokey (Feb 23, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *choli* 
I think most kids could handle that at six. The current trend for infantilizing our kids does them no favors.

I do agree, though I've no plans to leave my kids alone for the afternoon.

My 5 year old would, if suddenly dropped off at the house alone, decide that LIFE HAS GOTTEN REALLY SUPER COOL! and would go about his business being sure not to notify me by phone.

My 6 year old would call me immediately and demand I return home.


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *choli* 
I think most kids could handle that at six. The current trend for infantilizing our kids does them no favors.

I agree also. I do get tired of seeing older kids who can't manage even a shower without help from an adult.

Still, I wouldn't purposely leave a six year old home alone. Even if I knew she was capable. I have neighbors who's kids are five and almost seven. They stay home by themselves every day. They just eat a snack, use the video games and watch tv. They do fine. (but, this particular mom is an idiot...not just because of her kids, she's just an idiot)

BUT....since this six yr old has proven that she is wise and responsible, I think it is time for her to have a little more autonomy. I'd also make sure there were snacks that she could get to herself, that she was more than welcome to turn on the tv, and able to use a phone by herself. (my kid couldn't manage a phone until she was nearly nine.. no idea why they baffled her so much)

I'm very happy that she's so clear headed.


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## Peony (Nov 27, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Red Pajama* 
While you certainly don't want to put her in that situation on purpose, what a relief to know she is as capable as she is! In you place, I'd be very proud. Be sure to tell her.

Exactly. My DD1 at 6 would of been fine as well. I have concerns about the child in other areas but doings things like what your DD did is where she is capable.


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## -Resque- (Aug 25, 2009)

You are all right, we are incredibly proud of her, and we made sure to let her know how incredible she did. We will definitely be giving her more responsibility, as well as making it easier for her to do some stuff for herself. (She is a tiny thing, so there's a lot she can't reach around the house... example, she can pour herself drinks, but can't reach the cups.) We'll be making the house a little more "user friendly" for all of us. I also love the idea of making our house different than the others... why hadn't I thought of that? A seasonal wreath or one of her art projects hanging on the door would do it. We only know one of our neighbors, but you're right... we keep to ourselves too much, and need to start making these overtures for her sake. The friend she goes home with on Fridays lives across a busy street... not that she couldn't handle it, but something closer to home would be nice. We will definitely discuss letting her walk home by herself off the bus now.

She can definitely already get her own snacks, she just wanted applesauce or a piece of quiche, she told me. And she won't eat cold quiche.







So she waited for me to get home to warm it up for her.

Mummyofan, this is something we're really struggling with right now... how upset to be with our friend. We had touched base with him about adding the additional day on both Wednesday and Thursday. He doesn't have children yet, but does have a nice friendship with our daughter. On the one hand, you wonder how he could have forgotten a 6 year old, but on the other... he doesn't have that sense that parents get of thinking about their child at all times, at least on some level. And to be completely honest... my amazing, loving mother forgot me a time or two growing up. I know he'll be hurt if we switch to different childcare on Wednesdays (although summer is coming in two weeks and she'll be with family members then) but... I'm not sure I'm okay with leaving things as they are, and hoping for the best.


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## MJB (Nov 28, 2009)

My 7 yr. old could have done that at age 6 (and has walked home from school since 6, although someone's always home to meet him) but I doubt my 4.5 yr. old will be able to at 6. I don't even want to imagine the trouble he could get into in almost 2 hours! In case of an early dismissal from the school, his file says he is to walk home, and we've talked about what he should do if that happens and no one is home (but it hasn't).
At 7, I babysat my 5 yr. old sister from 3-5 every school day. We were always fine. I even remember when there was a tornado watch, I got together some blankets, snacks, board games, and a radio and took her down to the basement.
I really think people would be surprised at how capable kids can be when given the chance. We've started talking about getting a home phone or extra cell phone line for just such occasions as well.


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## cloe (Jul 22, 2004)

I did this also. When we were growing up it wasn't that bizare to me at all. I remember the first time I came home was a little scary but that was at age 4 and my babysitter didn't bother to pick me up. By the age of 10 I was going ice skating alone walking to my gymnastics classes (25 min walk) across busy roads and understood well the public transport system in my city. I think that kids with only one parent have no option. Kids will supprise you if you give them the opportunity. They want to be more independant and self sufficient. Locking them in a box doesn't do them any favours.


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## lookatreestar (Apr 14, 2008)

she sounds so adorable! i lovethe bit about not eating cold quiche


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## StephandOwen (Jun 22, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *-Resque-* 
Could your kids do this at 6?

My 6 year old would have gotten off the bus and probably started running. In any and every direction. Including into roads. Freaky.

He can't even reach our garage door opener/code thing (it's over MY head). If, by some miracle, he did make it in the house (which he wouldn't, because he can't open the garage door), he probably would have gone crazy and eaten any piece of chocolate he could find. LOL! I would have come home to a disaster and he would be bouncing off the walls.

The kid freaks out if I'm outside working on the garden (5 steps from the back door) and he can't see me. LOL!


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## berry987 (Apr 23, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *choli* 
I think most kids could handle that at six. The current trend for infantilizing our kids does them no favors.

I agree, although I think _because_ so many people treat their kids as incapable they actually _are_ incapable. Set them free and they start to do amazing things!

OP - You should be very proud! She sounds very calm and collected!


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## mummyofan (Jun 25, 2008)

Hi again,
I'd say that if it's worked out on Wednesdays then he's a pretty sure thing for the future, and the routine works when it's simple, but for other needs, call him alot!
AND... summer is around the corner; do put the picture on ther house, a cell phone somewhere easy.... it should be fine. Don't sweat it.
I think you need to pay homage to your parenting


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## kcstar (Mar 20, 2009)

Mostly what pp's have said.

I don't remember what kind of walk I had when I was in kindergarten/first grade. We moved after that, and when I was in second grade my little sister (kindergartener) and I walked about a mile or two from home to the bus.

My mom stayed home at the time, so we didn't do as much of the latchkey experience, but we did walk all by ourselves.


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## JollyGG (Oct 1, 2008)

We had something very similar happen this year as well. Our DS is also six.

My husband works from home. So my son usually rides the bus then walks home and does his homework then plays while my husband works nearby. Well my husband had to go to a funeral out of town. We made other arrangements for a friend to pick him up at the bus stop. We had gotten a note from the bus company the week before saying his drop off time had changed. So we told our friend what time the bus should be there and I realized we had forgotten to tell our son the plan so I emailed his teacher and asked her to let him know the friend would meet him at the bus stop.

My friend arrived at the bus stop a full 20 minutes early and waited, and waited and waited and waited. She called me. I asked her to wait a bit longer as perhaps the bus schedule change had them later than expected. By the time 30 minutes past his expected arrival time had passed I'm at work panicking and my husband is driving home each of us calling our friend every few minutes.Then my husband gets a phone call from a friend who lives 2 doors down saying our son was there.

He had evidential gone home. Messed around upstairs for a while before going downstairs to look for my husband. He wondered through the house for a bit and didn't find him. Thought maybe he'd be right back and hung out for a while. Finally decided that no one was around and went down to the friends house. He knocked on the door and said that no one was home and could he stay there until his Mom or Dad got home. Which is exactly what he should have done.

Turns out the teacher didn't get my email in time to relay the message and the new bus time we were give was almost 25 minutes incorrect. So the bus dropped him off before my friend even arrived.

We were very proud of him for doing exactly what we would have told him to do if we had ever discussed it.


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

I remember riding my bike to school when I was six. Most times with siblings, but sometimes alone. It was across town, granted a small town, but a few miles away anyways.

So much has changed in the last 20 years.

My six year old could take care of himself. He loves to make his own breakfast as well as lunches when necessary. He loves being around people and wants help, but, when he can do it himself, it makes him very pleased to do it.


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## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

In one town I used to live in, it was common for 6-year-olds to walk to school "alone" (really with their friends), but in the next town over it was uncommon. It had to do with the locations of the schools and the availability of sidewalks and that sort of thing; the local-cultural parenting practices in both towns were otherwise identical.


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

What a self-sufficient little girl you've got!









I agree with some other posters that many 6-year-olds would be capable of that, but what's impressive to me is that she hadn't been coached at all -- presumably, the parents who are saying they let their 6yo have more independence have given them the tools to handle that independence, but your DSD figured everything out on her own just based on past observation, rather than having someone go through it with her the way you would have if you knew she'd be alone that day. Good on her!









I wouldn't be too upset with your friend -- it happens, especially when there's a change in routine like that. It sounds like he's been very reliable on his usual Wednesdays.


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## VisionaryMom (Feb 20, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *choli* 
I think most kids could handle that at six. The current trend for infantilizing our kids does them no favors.

I agree. DS is 5, and I'm sure he could handle doing that. He's not exceptionally mature.

I also see my friends treating their children like babies and, imo, dis-empowering them. By 8, I stayed home with 3 small cousins and was responsible for making sure we all got whatever chores we'd been assigned done and that we were safe. Heck, as my MIL points out, pioneer children stayed for days and kept the homestead going while parents went into town.


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## Caneel (Jun 13, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kidzaplenty* 
I remember riding my bike to school when I was six. Most times with siblings, but sometimes alone. It was across town, granted a small town, but a few miles away anyways.

So much has changed in the last 20 years.

I know I was getting off the bus myself and being home alone for an hour or so in 2nd grade (7 yo) and it probably started in first grade. For the most part, I was ok with it but I do remember being very scared at times. Later on, it was no big deal.

I regularly rode my bike 5 miles, each way, on a very busy road, to visit my best friend during the summer. That started in 4th grade, when I was 9 yo.

OP - I would be proud of your little girl. Good for her.

I can understand your horror. Have you talked to your friend yet? I worked with a guy who would forget his kids all the time. His wife was a teacher at the adjoining school and would call screaming because staff would find her little kids sitting all alone out front long after her husband should have picked them up. (for some reason, the kids were not allowed to walk over to her school) So it does happen.


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## pianojazzgirl (Apr 6, 2006)

I think my 5.5 yr old could have handled that (walking home alone, letting herself in, being at home alone), BUT I think only if she had known that it was going to happen. Just suddenly "stranded" at the bus stop and figuring out everything on her own? I dunno... I'm pretty impressed by your DSD!!!


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## mistymama (Oct 12, 2004)

I think that's pretty impressive - esp for no coaching & figuring it all out on her own after being left for the very first time at the bus stop.. having to remember how to use the garage code, etc. She sounds mature and responsible.

I think my son who is 7 and finishing 1st grade could *probably* get himself from the bus stop inside - but he certainly wouldn't have thought to leave me a note, and probably would have left the garage door wide open.









I'm glad everything turned out ok - and I think you know in a few years she'll be MORE than ready to be home on her own.


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## Marsupialmom (Sep 28, 2003)

LOL, It would have depend on the child.

Also, I think not giving her the skills isn't wise either. My bil was in a car accident on the way home. His oldest son did not have the skills (pass codes) to open the door. The poor kid had to wait HOURS, scared, outside until some one got home. There was no other family to go to.

IMO, all kids should be able to get off the bus and let themselves in the home. Not saying that should be the status quo but the abilities should be there in case of emergency.


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## -Resque- (Aug 25, 2009)

It's definitely the fact that she had had no "training" whatsoever that impressed me the most. And trust me, we're kicking ourselves over that! We do feel as though we've done her a major disservice in not preparing her for that kind of situation, and steps are being taken currently to change that. I even got her dad to agree that she should be allowed to walk home from the bus by herself if she wants to! That's a pretty big step for him, and I think it'll go a long way towards showing her just how proud we are, both of how she handled herself, and of the beautiful job she's doing growing up.


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## *bejeweled* (Jul 16, 2003)

This is so







You should be so proud of her and yourselves. You've obviously taught her well through example.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *-Resque-* 
My DSD, who is six, is picked up off the bus on Wednesdays by a friend of ours. He stays with her from 4 until 5:45 when I get home from work. She normally goes home with a classmate on Fridays, again from 4 until 5:45. This week, her friend had a doctor's appointment, and our friend said he would be more than happy to add a day. On Wednesday, as he was leaving, he told me, "See you Friday!" You can see where this is going, I'm sure...

I got home from work yesterday, and didn't notice his car outside. Not very strange, they will sometimes go to his house instead, to play video games. There was a note on the garage door, which I assumed would let me know the pickup or drop-off plan. Instead, the note read, "I'm home. From HA." (Her initials). STILL not suspecting anything, I walked inside, to find her on the couch, watching TV. She turned to look at me, and said, in a perfectly calm, cheerful voice, "Nobody was there to get me off the bus, so I walked home by myself. I'm in first grade, so I'm old enough."

Now, this is actually true. Her school's policy is not to let kindergartners off the bus unless there is a parent or babysitting waiting for them. If no one is there, they will be driven back to school and their emergency contacts will be called. After kindergarten... fair game, I guess.

Here's what she told me, as I stood there in a state of shock... No one was there to get her, so she thought maybe someone would be waiting for her at home. (This has never happened. Someone has ALWAYS been there to get her off the bus.) She walked home, and only got confused once as to which house we lived in. (They are town homes, four connected, and I still get confused sometimes as to which we live in). She used our garage door code to get in the house, and made sure to thank me for teaching it to her last week. She says she walked in, realized no one was home, and just... decided to go about her business, I guess, secure in the knowledge that, "When the clock said 5:45, I knew you would get home." She realized I wouldn't see our friend's car outside, and didn't want me to leave, hence the note on the garage door, which she said she put there after changing her clothes and realizing no one was coming home for a while. She then shut the garage door after herself. She had to jump to reach it, and has never done it before.

After changing her clothes, she did her homework, then she turned on the TV, which she had to stand on the couch to do, because she's too short for the signal on the remote to connect with the box. She has never in her life turned the TV on by herself. She watched TV for the next hour. Scooby Doo first, then Minute to Win it. She had not gotten a snack, because she couldn't open the applesauce by herself, she told me, and she didn't think it would be safe to use the microwave without me or her daddy being home.

So. In general, she is an amazingly mature, calm, and very smart kid. And never did I think, in a million years, she would have been able to do something like this. We have never gone over what to do in a situation like this, because... who would put a 6 year old in a situation like this?? She has been asking for about four months when she would be old enough to stay home alone. We told her we thought 10 would be a good age to try it for 20 minutes or so if we needed to go grocery shopping, but as the time got closer, we could reevaluate.

She wasn't scared, or worried. She trusted that I would come home to her, and she had enough self confidence to just go about our evening routine... by herself. She did mention she thought it would be a good idea for us to get a phone at home (we use our cell phones) because, "Then I could've called you to tell you to hurry up."

We will be getting a pre-paid cell phone tomorrow to keep at home, with our numbers programmed into it. As well as obviously more dependable child-care. When we finally got ahold of him at 10:30 last night, he had just... forgotten. And was very sorry. She wanted to know when she could do it again, and was disappointed to learn that 10 was still our answer.

When I think about all the things that COULD HAVE happened, well... I can't even go there. Mostly what I'm feeling right now is pride. We had, in no way, done anything to prepare her for this. She is the only child in our house, thus far, and it has now occurred to me... we don't really expect a lot out of her, other than cleaning up after herself. We haven't taught her how to do a whole lot in the way of looking after herself, and didn't really expect to for a while. We have never told her not to use the microwave by herself, or the important of "leaving a note." She just... knew. She knew what to do to take care of herself until we returned to take over.

Could your kids do this at 6? Should we have done more in the way of preparing her for something like this? What more should we do now? Also... I need a hug. Man that was scary.


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## *bejeweled* (Jul 16, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Marsupialmom* 
IMO, all kids should be able to get off the bus and let themselves in the home. Not saying that should be the status quo but the abilities should be there in case of emergency.









I totally agree with this. I'm always at home and go out to meet DD (age 7) at the bus stop after school.

But we've given her a key that's hooked inside her backpack and _practiced_ what to do if for some reason I'm not there. She's to walk herself home, let herself in, lock the door, and call me on my cell phone. Who knows? I could get held up in traffic and miss meeting her at the bus stop. I feel so good knowing she has a key and is capable of letting herself in.


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## Heavenly (Nov 21, 2001)

Personally, I'm all for infantilizing my children if it keeps them safe. Just 13 months ago a little 8 year old girl was kidnapped, raped and murdered in a town about 45 minutes from where I live. She was walking home alone from school, the first time ever that she was allowed. Yes, yes, yes, I know that people always says it's rare, won't happen to them, etc. but 1) All that won't matter if it's YOU it happens to, and 2) I'm sure her parents didn't ever think it was possible either. I will never be able to forget the missing posters all over every store and gas station I went to and the weeks of waiting, praying and wondering where she was, and the horror everyone felt when her body was found. So not worth the risk IMHO.


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## *bejeweled* (Jul 16, 2003)

Yes Heavenly, I agree with you. Heartbroken moms of missing children always say, "Don't let your kids walk alone."

I'm all for giving DD (age 7) the tools to take care of herself. But I will be there keeping an eye on her for a long, long time.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Heavenly* 
Personally, I'm all for infantilizing my children if it keeps them safe. Just 13 months ago a little 8 year old girl was kidnapped, raped and murdered in a town about 45 minutes from where I live. She was walking home alone from school, the first time ever that she was allowed. Yes, yes, yes, I know that people always says it's rare, won't happen to them, etc. but 1) All that won't matter if it's YOU it happens to, and 2) I'm sure her parents didn't ever think it was possible either. I will never be able to forget the missing posters all over every store and gas station I went to and the weeks of waiting, praying and wondering where she was, and the horror everyone felt when her body was found. So not worth the risk IMHO.


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## New_Natural_Mom (Dec 21, 2007)

What a cool kid you have. I would be so proud of her!!!


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## arb (Mar 14, 2006)

That is an absolutely adorable story! Adorable! Your child sounds like a charming, funny, clever kid. I love the note on the door best of all. That was SO smart. No, I do not think most kids her age would handle the situation with such aplomb! They may have the actual skills to get in, get a snack, etc., but to do so without panicking--impressive.

Sounds like you are willing to cut your friend some slack and I hope you do. I may be reading between the lines too much, but my impression is that the degree of his regret (i.e. not sufficiently high!) is more worrisome than the actual forgetting. Like, you expect him to be more completely freaked out that he forgot (as do I!). Maybe he is too mortified to properly express himself. I was in his shoes once (forgot or overslept to pick up a friend's kid from half-day preschool while I was in college) and I still cringe to think about it!


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