# Apartments and kids



## *MamaJen* (Apr 24, 2007)

What's your experience been living in an apartment with young children? What are the things to look for in an apartment complex when you're living with kids? What are the hard parts?
Would you pick between an hour commute twice daily and a big house/yard or a five minute commute and an apartment?


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## momtoTnT (Dec 15, 2004)

We're facing this question in our house too - interested to hear what others say.

FWIW - I HATE my commute - which is why we're selling our house before we are ready to buy again. My commute is 30 minutes in decent weather, 1 to 2 hours in the winter and I'm done.


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## *bejeweled* (Jul 16, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **MamaJen** 
What's your experience been living in an apartment with young children? What are the things to look for in an apartment complex when you're living with kids? What are the hard parts?
Would you pick between an hour commute twice daily and a big house/yard or a five minute commute and an apartment?

Definitely I'd pick the five minute commute and apartment. Better quality of life in my opinion.

We just sold our home and downsized to an apartment. We are so happy. We thought we'd be here for just 6 months while we found a new home to buy, and now we're going on three years here. No maintenance, no upkeep, gorgeous pool. They even change light bulbs! We just feel _free_.

I'd get a ground floor apartment that is near a park. Also make sure that it is in a good neighborhood with good schools. I'd make certain that the unit that you rent has an area where the kids can run around and ride bikes/trikes. Oh, and a washer/dryer in the unit.


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## SeekingSerenity (Aug 6, 2006)

There are pro's and con's to each situation. I think it's really individual.

For instance, I hate long commutes... but I also grew, over the years, to hate apartment complexes too. I can't do ground-floor apartments, because I hate the sound of people tromping around overhead. I also feel that second-floor units are safer from break-ins (this was a hard feeling to break even when I moved to a really nice complex, since I'd lived in dangerous neighborhoods for so long). However, I really don't recommend stairs with young kids. There's also the balcony issue - even with good rails, I was always nervous about the kids being on the balcony.

But there are up-sides to the _no maintenance worries_ thing too. You don't have to deal with anything yourself - just call the office and they'll send someone over for you (if you're in that good complex). There's usually the nice pool and if you're lucky, there's a playground. Plus that gloriously short commute.

Having finally gotten out of apartments, though, I won't go back unless there is literally NO other choice. I am in a duplex now, but it's close enough to being in a house that I can live with it. It's not a complex, but a freestanding building with only one shared wall. It's got a yard and I can plant my flower garden in peace. No stairs. No parking lots to fight over spaces (or speed bumps, though our street could use some). The husband has a commute that is longer than he'd like it to be, but that's his own fault - we originally chose this place because he was so close to his job that he could ride a bike to work and be there in 5 minutes. (Then he got fired







)

So I guess, really, it depends on what you want out of your living arrangement. Personally speaking, if I was the one working, I wouldn't want a commute longer than 30-40 minutes in order to get to my own home, with my own yard and my own driveway, but I wouldn't sacrifice that personal living space in order to be closer to work if it meant transitioning back to an apartment. That's just me.


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## *bejeweled* (Jul 16, 2003)

If you rent a ground floor apartment, you might want to invest in an alarm system & put stickers in the windows. That's what we did.

Oh, and rent a garage if you don't want to hunt for a parking space.


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## Shahbazin (Aug 3, 2006)

Where we were living, the commute was about 50-60 minutes to get to town (groceries, etc) & an hour to an hour & a half to work; I really loved it there, & hope to live in a place like that again! Lots of space, had fruit trees, big gardens, livestock, lots of trees, areas to hike, seasonal creek, etc.

Right now we're living in town/suburbs (not an apt., but the most urban place I've ever been), & we spend most of our time in the backyard - we seldom go out front, on the street with the sidewalk. After over 2 years here, I did recently find out where a couple of parks are, but I really don't like going. I like to grow my own stuff, dig in my own soil, have whatever animals we want, & build stuff on our own land.


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## Polliwog (Oct 29, 2006)

I'm renting a townhouse. I'm on the end and only have one (quiet) neighbor whom we love. I've been here for seven years (pre-kids.) My street is a cul-de-sac and very quiet. There's grassy areas to play, sidewalks, and the pool is right across the street. I love it here. I'm job hunting but I'd hate to work to far from my house.


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## Geist (Jan 27, 2010)

We currently live in an apartment in a large complex and there are ups and downs.
We enjoy the pools a lot in the summer and there is a playground down the street where we often go to play, so that works out pretty well. Theoretically there are also a lot of other kids we could play with, but the thing I've noticed is that most people don't tend to go outside and we know very few of our neighbors.
The balcony isn't much of a problem; we put chicken wire on it so that my son can't squeeze through and a lot of people put black mesh around it.
The main downside is that the time we spend outside is basically wasted for me (aside from playing and excercising). I can't work in the garden or hang out laundry or do anything useful while we're outside because it's not my yard and I don't have a garden. That, for me, is the major downside. And of course the lack of my own washing machine.
But if the choice where an hour commute vs a 5 minute commute, I would pick the shorter commute. Driving that long gets old real fast...


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## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

Personally, I hated living in an apartment with young children. Granted, the last one we lived in we were on the 2nd floor, it had a tiny balcony, and we had 4 children under the age of 6. Lets just say the people underneath us hated us, and probably thanked their lucky stars the day the moving truck pulled up.

Now, we moved to a new state - and DH does drive almost an hour when he goes into the office. For us, it's worth it to have a huge, 5 bedroom house with half an acre - if we lived close to his work we'd be in another apartment, a small townhome, or a house in a bad neighborhood.

I guess my advice would be that if you have to move into an apartment - try to get on the bottom floor (which is often hard to do - b/c no one wants to walk up stairs of ride an elevator several times a day), make friends with your neighbors in hopes that your children don't irritate the poo out of them, and expect noise yourself late at night (pounding bass at 3 am, fighting couples, etc.). Also, realize that other's habits will impact you - cigarette butts on the ground, smoke drifting through the walls - or windows if they smoke outside, their visitors may not be polite, etc.

I don't mean to sound so negative - but we've lived in 3 different complexes since having kids and I don't care how much money or time we saved, you couldn't get me to do it again.


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## Jaesun's Dad (Feb 19, 2010)

I have the one hour commute _and_ the apartment :-( Fortunately though most of the commute time is walking so I get my exercise and if I walk around the lake it's actually quite pleasant, especially coming home on a nice warm evening.

We actually have two apartments in the same apartment building due to the circumstances of it-is-what-it-is back in September when we moved. Living in the SF Bay Area though we really have no choice but to rent. Our apartment has pretty thick walls. I hear my neighbors through the floors sometimes (especially sex) but not through the walls much so I think that the sounds of our crying infant don't travel too far. Thankfully no one has complained yet. The combined rent I'm shelling out is insane and is a lot more than most mortgages would be. Even a mortgage on the half million dollar cardboard boxes they sell around here would be less than what I pay on two units so consolidating when our lease is up will be nice (we've been cohabbing most of this time anyway) so it would be nice to maybe rent a house, finding something with three bedrooms would be ideal.

Smoking hasn't been a problem. The neighbors that do smoke do so outside. If they smoke inside, I don't notice it in the common halls or in our units.

Noise isn't too much of a problem, but I've been in plenty of other apartments where it has.

The elevator and stairs aren't much of a problem either. The elevator breaks a lot, but we need exercise anyway.

I'm paying for a parking spot in the building garage, that's a big plus. Street parking isn't much fun.

We have a laundry room but the washers/dryers are awful. I'm often tempted to load up the car and go to a coin op down the street.

Our son is only a little over two months, so we don't have a toddler running around yet. The current apartment we're in is only temporary though. When the lease is up I think we're definitely looking to move to another place. We do like the neighborhood though, and would probably consider a 2BR in the same building if one opens up.

I don't find it very challenging living in an apartment with a newborn, it may get more challenging once he's older. But I've been living in apartments since the 80's so I'm rather acclimated ...


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## petey44 (Nov 6, 2008)

We live in an apartment because that's within our current financial means. We're saving towards a house, but in the meantime...
I like our apartment. It's roomy and in a nice neighborhood. And that's important, because we could afford to buy a house now, just not in a neighborhood I would feel safe in. I'm fine living in an apartment if it means I can take my dd out for a walk late at night without any worries.
If you're considering moving to an apartment, here's what I think is important to look for:
1. safe, clean neighborhood
2. washer/dryer in unit
3. some sort of outdoor area
4. locked building
And i don't know the rules about posting links to other sites, but there's a website called apartmentratings.com, where residents leave reviews of the complex. Because a complex can look nice to an outsider, but have hidden problems.
We live on the second floor, which I prefer. Third would be too many steps, but first I would just feel less safe. We have a pool that dd loved last summer, as well as a little play area and plenty of places to walk around. Also, the neighbor thing can be worked out, I feel. We have an apartment of college guys living directly underneath us, and they behaved like typical college guys the first night or two after they moved in. Then my husband went down and talked to them, and they've been completely fine since then (and that was almost a year ago). Some neighbors we know pretty well, some we don't.
Ultimately, I do think home ownership is best, but when that's not possible, I think there are ways to make apartment living enjoyable. You can always rent a community garden space.


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## NYCVeg (Jan 31, 2005)

Well, I'm a city girl, so I love apartment living! We're living in a house now (out in the 'burbs, for a temporary job), but we're desperately hoping to get back to a city apartment soon. I love having less space to clean, being able to live without a car, having a built-in community of kids for dd, feeling like our lives are less cluttered with stuff, having a super to fix anything broken instead of having to find, call, and pay for services, etc. Some apartment complexes have great amenities for kids--we have a few friends who live in buildings with communal playrooms, for instance.

Beyond that, our main things to look for would be:
1) safety: I much prefer to live on a higher floor vs. the ground floor for safety reasons. Ground floor apartments are far more likely to get broken into and are closer to street noise. I don't see what's inconvenient about taking the elevator many times a day--pretty much everyone in NYC does this! I don't even mind the stairs--good exercise! Awhile back, we lived in a three-story house and I'm sure I climbed the stairs far more times a day as I would have living in a walk-up apartment.
2) easy access to washer/dryer
3) walking distance to a park
4) easily accessible super
5) non-smoking building OR new ventilation system (we once lived in an older building and, because of the bizarre way the pipes/vents were set up, we had huge problems with smoke coming in from apartments that were on our line but many floors below--something I would never have even thought about).

I LOATHE commuting. Dh was just reading something in the paper this morning about consumer real estate patterns, and it said that people tend to overestimate how much space they'll really want and to underestimate how annoying a long commute will be--so that, statistically, people who choose space over proximity to work are less satisfied with their living situation.


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## To-Fu (May 23, 2007)

Could you rent a house, duplex, or townhouse instead, maybe? Might be a nice compromise.


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## Hannah32 (Dec 23, 2009)

I live in an apartment too! We're just really not at the income level needed to buy a house in the metro Boston area. We'd have to move way out to the border of NH and I'm just not willing to do that. I hate driving on the highway for one.

However, apartment living doesn't have to mean complex living. I've always rented in homes. Our current is a two-unit, though not a duplex, just a divided house. It has a w/d in unit, which I agree is very needed. It's small and not that ideal for a child, but it will have to do for now.

I live about five miles from my job and close to things I need. This greatly reduces the gas bill for our one car family, along with preserving the health and well-being of our 12 year old car. Furthermore, we do not pay mortgage interest, property taxes (well we do through rent, but still) or upkeep costs associated with home ownership.

So my only advice is to seek private landlords renting out homes. You do have choices beyond the complex.


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## CatsCradle (May 7, 2007)

I agree with everything NYCVeg says above. We own our apartment (in a co-op building in NYC). DD has known nothing else. I can't really comment on commutes because it still takes me an hour to commute (by the time DD and I take the subway to her school and then I get back on the the subway to work). The co-op deals with our maintenance (except for interior apartment stuff) and we have a building laundry room. I love it for the fact that DH and I don't have to spend any extraneous time on house maintenance. It also helps us to consume less stuff. I guess I'm really biased. I wouldn't have it any other way at the present time. Plus, we don't really have much choice since a great portion of real estate in NYC is comprised of apartments! We do a lot of outdoors stuff (walking and parks and biking) in order to maintain our sanity.


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## TEAK's Mom (Apr 25, 2003)

I'd choose the apartment. Nothing beats a five minute commute.


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## *bejeweled* (Jul 16, 2003)

Oh my, I just realized that's 2 hours total commute time daily. No way I'd do that. I've done it in the past and it sucked big time. Also, I always thought it was risky to spend that much time on the road daily.

Quote:


Originally Posted by **MamaJen** 
What's your experience been living in an apartment with young children? What are the things to look for in an apartment complex when you're living with kids? What are the hard parts?
Would you pick between an hour commute twice daily and a big house/yard or a five minute commute and an apartment?


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## *Erin* (Mar 18, 2002)

i would definitely pick the short commute and apt over the 2 hrs a day driving. we've done that, nooooo fun. gas is expensive, also.
I would try to get ground floor if you can find it, for safety, for ease (no hauling loads of groceries up flights of stairs),and no worrying about driving the people under you nuts when the kids are playing. been there done that, would *not* do it again.


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## Mom2M (Sep 23, 2006)

We lived in different apartments with kids for a long time and I loved it. I almost wish we didn't have a house now except that I would miss the yard.
The advantages are many in my opinion.
Maintenance is a huge one! Anytime anything went wrong we had someone to call and fix it.
I liked the big complex we lived in the most. It was a good neighborhood, lots of townhouses and 1/2 bedroom apts. We had a town house and it was 3 bedrooms 2 baths 2 floors. Fenced in yard.
There were sidewalks everywhere and lots of green space in between all the groups of apts. So...lots of kids, sidewalks for chalk and riding bikes, etc...plus the grass and 2 little playgrounds. Everyone sat out in the front and talked while the kids were playing. Stores in walking distance and an industrial park nearby where a lot of people worked in different businesses.
lol, I guess I miss it!








I had no problems with little kids in the walk up apts we had either. I love being in a city and able to walk instead of drive.


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## Linda on the move (Jun 15, 2005)

We've moved a lot for DH's and I think we've had every possible living arrangment. As far as what to look for in an apartment, I'll build on this post:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NYCVeg* 
I much prefer to live on a higher floor vs. the ground floor for safety reasons. Ground floor apartments are far more likely to get broken into and are closer to street noise. I don't see what's inconvenient about taking the elevator many times a day--pretty much everyone in NYC does this!

Most places we've lived, apartments don't have elevators, and carrying a baby and a toddler plus either grociers or laundry up and down a couple of flights of stair just doesn't work for me. This is esp. true if the steps are out of doors.

I'm a first floor gal.









Some apartments have patios that open to a common green area -- very nice with small children!

Quote:

2) easy access to washer/dryer
3) walking distance to a park
These are my top two. I would not choose to live without a full size washer and dryer in my home. Walking distance to a park is GREAT with kids, esp, if you don't have your own yard.

I'd add Good, Close, Safe Parking to the list.

A commute that take 60 minutes on a good day will take longer other days because of wrecks and weather and road construction. It will cost more money in gas and car maintence, and gas prices can spike at all time. If you are comparing buying a home to renting an apartment, be sure and factor in totally random expensives, like the heater going out. Stuff happens.

On the other hand, car insurance rates are partly based on your zip code, and the house in the burbs might be far less expensive for insurance than living in town (esp. if you are comparing renting vs buying).


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## mommajb (Mar 4, 2005)

I hate maintenance - home, lawn, cars you name it.

I would want my own washer and dryer
ground floor would be nice as would a balcony or patio
mail delivered to near the entrance, not a central spot you can't get at during nap time
walkable neighborhod with a park people (parents and children) actually use
elevator or ok to leave stroller at entrance if you are not on the first floor
good neighbors as if you can control that
good soundproofing/noise control
control of my own heat and ac temps

I'd also check out garbage recycling locations. We've had some doozies. I don't want it a block away or outside my window.


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## averlee (Apr 10, 2009)

We lived in an apartment, not in a complex but in a huge old house that had been divided up, when my daughter was a toddler. The downstairs neighbors had a big nice dog who barked like crazy if anyone lingered near or touched our gate, so I always felt very safe. We had a washer and dryer in the apartment and were just a few blocks from a huge, beautiful park. We were also walking distance from the library, several stores, restaurants, a coffee shop, and an ice-cream parlor. It worked out great for us!


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## NYCVeg (Jan 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Linda on the move* 
Most places we've lived, apartments don't have elevators, and carrying a baby and a toddler plus either grociers or laundry up and down a couple of flights of stair just doesn't work for me. This is esp. true if the steps are out of doors.

I'm a first floor gal.









My apartment-living experience is limited to the two major American cities in which I've spent most of my adult life--one of which is NYC. In NYC, you would never want to take a first floor apartment, for both safety reasons and noise. Higher floors are always more desirable--and, therefore, often significantly more expensive. Apartment buildings are also often huge--you could be talking about 200-300 units in the building. And doormen!

I have lived in walk-ups before, and never had a problem with it--and that includes lugging groceries and laundry, walking dogs several times a day, and so forth. I think the highest walk-up I've ever known someone to have was five flights, but even many smaller buildings have elevators (I once lived in a second-story NYC apartment, which did have an elevator).

I don't have any experience with the kind of two-story apartment "complexes" that people are discussing. Out of door steps? What's that?


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## nina_yyc (Nov 5, 2006)

Can't pass up this thread - I'm an apartment gal myself! It's becoming a defining part of my life as I realize what a freak I must be...forget breastfeeding, TV-limiting, delayed-vaxing, cosleeping, but _living in an apartment with kids_? Clearly that makes me a weirdo. I live in a city that is obsessively single-family-home oriented...in fact, we have more single family homes per capita than most in N. America. (which means, yep, sprawl...yuck.)

Agreed with a lot of the points re safety, W/D in ap't, etc. One thing I'll add is concrete walls. It's quieter. I also look for a place that has electrical heating. Dusty radiators can be a pain but no gas bill is pretty awesome. I've never lived in a truly big complex, mostly low rises. We own our apartment style condo now and before we were living in condo sublets. We found some great deals that way last time we rented; people didn't mind the idea of renting to a family because that meant we weren't partiers. We actually got a rate below market price on a sublet that way.

On the pro side, one thing that hasn't been brought up is the non-work-related plusses of living in a walkable neighborhood. DH's work is close but my former employer was in the burbs so I drove anyway (but against rush hour.) But outside of working hours, it's kind of nice to walk your errands, especially with kids. It can make a grocery shopping day or a post office day into good exercise and a fun detour to the park. We also have tons of options for shopping and restaurants around here, which is a plus if you want to drink on date night







. We are also close to transit so unlike most families here (yes I live in a crazy oil-drunk city) we share a car. Today DH was off work and we both made plans with friends...could have been a conflict in the burbs which are poorly served by transit. Since we are downtown DH just dropped me off and we took a bus back.

On the minus side, one thing that hasn't been brought up is awkwardness on playdates. Hi, I'm Nina and I'm more status-conscious than I should be. We clearly have limited toys and limited space so I feel like a bit of a heel when my friends are here...when I go to their generously sized beautifully furnished eco-chic homes I kinda wonder where I went wrong in life







. Of course there is a great park a block away so that does help. Also on the minus side - you can't just throw your kids in the backyard and get stuff done around the house. But whenever I get cranky about that I remember what one poster said on one of these MDC threads some time ago - _A park is a yard you don't have to mow._


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## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NYCVeg* 

I don't have any experience with the kind of two-story apartment "complexes" that people are discussing. Out of door steps? What's that?









Los Angeles!

Actually I've seen them in Connecticut too.


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## mistymama (Oct 12, 2004)

I say short commute and apartment.

We live in an apartment and it's really not that bad. Sure, I want a house and we are saving for it ... but to buy a house in this school district (or even rent one) is very expensive - and we got a great deal on an apartment that is zoned for the very best school in our area.

The pros - our apartment is big, and as big as many of the small houses we could rent for about 1/2 the price. It's remodeled and brand new - and when anything breaks, maintenance is a phone call away. There is a beautiful pool that we use all summer long. We use the exercise equipment and playground often as well. Many of ds's friends live in our complex, so each afternoon he's outside playing with kids. Our balcony is large and I grow a pretty extensive container garden on it each summer - no it's not a yard, but it does just fine for now.

The cons - no yard. Less privacy than a house.

But dh and I both work within miles of our apartment and ds's school is super close as well. It's so convenient and the price is right. We'll probably be in this apartment for another year or two before we buy a house. But yes, I would choose a close by apartment over a far away house anyday.


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## Danielsmama (Apr 28, 2008)

I am new here but wanted to throw in my two-cents on apartment living.

We are lucky to live in the same town that my DH works in, but because of house prices we have been living in an apartment since I was pregnant with my DS 3 years ago. Now we have DS who is 2.5 and another baby on the way. You can't beat how close my DH works to where we live - 5 minutes - but space is an issue.

CONS - Our two bedroom apartment is getting kind of small and now with another baby due in 3 months it is downright close in here. We have had to get rid of alot of stuff and put into storage. Depending on the size of the apartment you find you may not run into these issues. The only other issues I have are kitchen counter space and lack of a washer and dryer in our home so it is hard for me to lug laundry home to my mom's (especially the diapers!) but I do it.

The pros are - someone fixing stuff and painting for us. Not having to mow a lawn (though would glady trade that for a backyard!). And a sense of community. We live in Garden apartments which is nice because we have our own entrance and this place is neat and quiet.

Bottom line is that this is what we can afford and will gladly put up with some inconveniences for me to be able to stay home with my kids and for DH to have a stress free commute for a while. We will probably go house shopping in the next year just to have more space for the kids.

Good luck!


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## Qestia (Sep 26, 2005)

I have structured my life around a short commute! I feel very passionately about it. Plus, I love living in the city where we can walk to things.

For me, the immediate area around the apartment is more important than the apartment itself. Not only do you need to be able to walk to playgrounds, it needs to be the kind of neighborhood where other people are doing the same thing (nothing feels less safe to me than a deserted inner city playground...) We actually own our condo, but it's an 800 sq ft 2 BR in a 3-family house, so very apartment feeling. I do feel bad for the other people in our building, especially the woman downstairs, as I know we must be loud... but they both moved in after we did so they chose this lifestyle! It takes me 10 minutes by bikes to get to work... I love our life.


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## Peppermint Poppies (Jan 7, 2007)

We live in a 2-bedroom apartment with DS (3) and DD (11 months). I LOATHE it. We chose it because it meant a 5-minute commute for DH, but I would swap a longer commute for a house with a yard any day (unfortunately, DH doesn't agree with me, probably because he's not the one stuck in the apartment all day with 2 small children).

The reasons I hate it so much:
- 3 flights of stairs, no lift. Doing groceries sucks! I have to do it every single day, and even then I'm carrying up bags, a backpack, a baby, whilst trying to convince my toddler to walk up the stairs and trying to unlock the door with my 3rd hand at the same time.
- no laundry. We installed a washer in our kitchen, but there is nowhere to put a dryer. And we're not allowed to hang laundry on our balcony. There are shared clotheslines .... down 3 flights of stairs (so not fun when I've got to take a baby, a toddler and basket loads of wet washing down with me)
- no garage or parking space. Street parking only, which there sometimes isn't any of.
- no outdoor area, no grass, no pool, no driveway, nowhere my toddler can ride a scooter or a tricycle or splash in a paddling pool (and nowhere to store any of that stuff anyway, so I'd have to cart it up and down the stairs)
- a kitchen so small it's positively ridiculous
- even though I take the kids out every. single. day ... they still go stir crazy VERY quickly and completely destroy the apartment multiple times per day. Their only place space is my living room/dining room/kitchen (all the one room). I can't walk out the door without tripping over blocks, toys, legos, shoes, wheeled walkers etc.
- my son thinks the balcony is for throwing toys off and peeing off of








- I can't grow a vege garden with the kids, or do any sort of outside messy activities
- my neighbours are very, very tolerant of the noise, but I'm sure it drives them absolutely bonkers. My toddler tantrums all day long. He tantrums up and down the stairs. He tantrums down near the clotheslines. I spend most of my week feeling horribly embarrassed.

I hate living in this apartment so much that I have considered moving to a different city to my DH (back to my hometown where we own a house) and living apart from him long term. The benefits of a short commute in no way outweigh the negatives for me.

Edited to add:
I suppose I should add a few positives, since I've been so negative:
- we have about 6 parks within a 10 mins stroll
- all shops/amenties/services/restaurants/cinemas/doctors/public transport/playgroups/church/etc all within a few minutes walk
- all of our friends are within easy walking distance


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## Novus (Mar 16, 2010)

I'd choose the short commute and the apartment, given the choice.

We live in an apartment and although we're planning to buy a house within the next two years and it would be nice to have a yard, we're still pretty happy where we are. Here's why:
1. We have a washer & dryer.
2. We have an office space for when DH works from home...this may not be an issue for everyone, but it's very important for us.
3. We're on the top floor, so there's no one making noise above us.
4. The walls between apts are concrete, so pretty sound proof.
5. Lots of parking.
6. Pool, playground, lots of lawn spaces.
7. Very kid-friendly complex, lots of other families with young children.

Here are some things I don't like about apartment living:
1. NO storage space. I feel like we're constantly sorting through our stuff for things that can go to goodwill because we just don't have the space to hold on to anything.
2. Not a lot of space for parties, playdates, etc.
3. We're on the third floor, so walking up & down the stairs multiple times a day with the baby can be hard.
4. Sometimes, the people downstairs smoke in their bathroom and the smell comes up through the vents. Ick! This is probably our biggest issue with this apartment.


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## WhaleinGaloshes (Oct 9, 2006)

I have done both, but most of DD's 4.5 years have been spent in apartments (minus the year she was 2-3.)

It's fine, I don't mind it.

The big con to me is neighbors and smoking. That's the bane of my existence. Everything else including the noise factor I find very livable after so many years.

I look for: separate (and clean) HVAC systems, washer and dryer, good closets in about that order.

I'd absolutely do it for the commute; time is one thing you can't get back and time spent on your butt traveling to and from work adds up fast.


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## peaceful_mama (May 27, 2005)

I've lived in two apartments with children.

We moved out of our 3rd floor 2 bedroom apt. when I was pg with DS2 and mom needed to move in with us after my dad passed. Partly too many people, but also my kids at 3 1/2 and 1 1/2 were just too noisy to be in an upstairs apt. It was not fair to me to have to stress on disciplining them, THEM to not be able to be active, and the people below me.

NOW as a mom going on her FOURTH child, I would pick the large house and yard and the two-hour commute. Back with ONE child or an infant and toddler I might have picked 5 mins. and apartment.

Things I like about this apt. over my old one
--ground floor. (I think this is ESSENTIAL with young children.)
--individual outdoor entrances (again nobody can complain about their noise in the hallway)

--we have our own washer/dryer in our place
--sidewalk for kids to ride bikes, little bit of a yard.

Things I do NOT like
--nobody enforces any sort of rules about the playground, regarding ages of children allowed or supervision. And there's no bench or anything for parents to sit on, I think a lot more parents would be inclined to be there if there was a place to sit, y/k?
So....like the other day, DD rode her bike over, there were a bunch of middle-schoolish age kids on all the (very small kid, I'd say it's probably appropriate for up to about 9-10 at the oldest) equipment, and I very quickly hauled her out of there as I started to hear the 'f' word, among others.

MOST of the time, my mom or I are the *only* adults out with kids on the playground. My kids are *rarely* the only ones there.

--We desperately need more space, it is *small.*

--the kids right next door to me *supposedly* have older siblings supervising them in the summer. In reality, they run and do whatever they want all day, including fight with my kids. And they've done a few things right in front of their supervising 'babysitter', NOTHING happens! (I'm talking big, like chasing my kids with a giant stick, or pushing DD off her bike for the apparent 'crime' of riding by on the sidewalk in front of 'their' yard.) We've complained and NOTHING gets done, I've pretty much flat out been told they can't do anything because these people are on housing. (which *really* ticks me off, not the housing part, I could care less about that, but if this was MY children, we'd be evicted!)
There's no getting away from them, we'll just have to go to parks all summer to play outside without dealing with these kids. (the yards adjoin, there's NO fencing, you get the idea.)

So yeah I am REALLY REALLY wanting a house with a yard. And a fence.


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## Theia (Oct 30, 2007)

I would totally choose the short commute. That time spent in a car is such a waste, imho.

I live in a 2 story apartment building with outdoor steps and no lift. And I live on the top floor. I prefer the top floor though. I like that I don't have to worry about people walking by and looking in my windows. I like that it's a much more complicated venture for for any would be burglar. I only have one flight of steps and don't mind even when I have to make multiple trips to bring in the groceries. I have an assigned parking space (literally 5 steps from the stairs) so there aren't any parking concerns. I like that I'm upstairs because I'm not having to listen to my 2yo running and jumping on the floor which is my downstair neighbors ceiling.







Upstairs just feels more private and safe to me. We have a large yard area behind the building and a mini playground with a b-ball hoop, swings, slide and rock climbing thing. There are sidewalks everywhere too. It does take us a bit more time if she walks up or down the stairs, and I hold her hand.... but that's such a small thing that I don't really see it as a big deal or reason to want a ground floor apartment.

Pre-motherhood, I lived on the bottom floor in a 1br apt. The apartment above me apparently had the bathroom right over my bedroom. And every night I was awoken by the sound of a man urinating over my head, and then he'd flush and the water would run down the pipe in the wall behind my head.







And my patio had a big 8ft wooden fence so I couldn't see anything except a small patch of sky from it. My upstairs neighbors also dropped trash down in my patio area. I always felt suffocated in that bottom level apartment, like it actually felt like the ceilings were low although it was a modern building and they were probably the standard 8ft or whatever, so I've always tried to have top floors since.

I like being in an end unit, and having my own washer/dryer in unit is a big deal. I also like the shared wall to be the kitchen living room areas rather than the bedroom areas.


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## LuxPerpetua (Dec 17, 2003)

We live in an apt. and love it. Eventually we may want a house (or not, depending on how we decide we want to spend our $). Our apt. complex is really nice--we live on the edge of some wilderness which is nice because dd and I like to do nature walks, we have a heated swimming pool for the summer, a gym, and lots of green space for walking and playing around. I love how we have such a diverse mix of people--lots of different ethnicities and ages. I love that I have a small space to clean--our apt. (a 2 BR) can be totally spotless and perfect in 2 hours with just me cleaning it, or 1 hour with dh's help. We have a balcony for our sandtable and container garden. We don't have to worry about yard work or property taxes. Living in a small space has made us very conscious about "stuff" and how much of it we allow into our lives. Our apartment is also close to dh's work so occasionally he gets to come home for lunch. We also live in between a great town park and a nature reserve. It's wonderful.

When looking for an apt., I always make sure there is: built-in AC, a balcony, a nice swimming pool, a playground. I also walk around the complex and get a feel for the residents to make sure it's a good mix--I don't like places that seem to cater to the college crowd. I check for apartment ratings online. I try and make sure we're near lots of nature and parks.

ETA: We've always lived on the top floor with dd (we live on the 3rd floor right now) and would never get a bottom floor for safety reasons and because we don't want to hear people overhead.


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## escher (May 3, 2004)

It's fun to read all the stories of living with kids in apartments. That's something we're hoping to do (if we ever manage to actually get pregnant!







), so it is good to hear what works well and what the challenges are. Any other stories out there?


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## goinggreengirl (Nov 7, 2009)

5 minute commute in apartment, easy choice. As for what to look for, we wanted an apartment that had green space for DS to play on. We had two to choose from and chose the one with lots of empty yard so DS can run around this summer. It also has a playground, is close to a walking trail and close to a popular beach play area along the river.


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## KCMichigan (Jul 21, 2009)

We live in an apartment since last year after house-living the first 4 years with kids. We have twin 5 yr olds in a two bedroom apart. We have a washer/dryer and a garage (that is not nearby) for storage.

Pros:

short commute- we each drive about 10 minutes

good schools (we could not afford a house in this district)

no/low maintenance (DH travels so this is huge!)

pool access in the summer

less 'stuff'

Cons:

no playground nearby- we drive to the local one in good weather

it seems like it is forever messy- 4 people and 900 sq feet gets messy quick

parking stinks

Upstairs neighbor is noisy!


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## Shaki (Mar 15, 2006)

We are apartment dwellers as well. Not much to add to what pp's have said except make sure there are no yappy dogs living in any apartments near yours. We had to live above a yappy dog for a year and it was torture!


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## physmom (Jun 15, 2009)

As long as the 5 minute away apartment was in a good neighborhood and had a school I liked nearby (homeschooling is illegal here), I wouldn't think twice about living in an apartment. Especially since it's just you and your son (at least I'm assuming from your signature), space shouldn't be an issue. DH and I lived for two years with DD, myself, and a cat in a 1 bedroom 400 m^2 apt and even though it was extremely tight it was within walking distance frmo work and a ton of playgrounds so we loved the location! We're moving soon and currently looking for a new apt ourselves. We'd do the same set up but the school that I fell in love with is farther away so we won't be able to live right next to work anymore.  But trust me that travel time is sooo valuable, especially if you're a working mom!!!!!!!

As to what to look for. Well, I think you can make do with whatever situation as long as you set up your furniture well enough  but it's always nice to have things like playgrounds/libraries/schools nearby.


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## mooshersmama (Jun 21, 2010)

There are pros and cons. We live in a condo in a great neighborhood with easy commutes. We can walk everywhere including two metro stations. We love our neighborhood and have a lot of green space to run around in.

I would never live in a ground floor unit due to safety concerns, but I think if you had a good alarm system you'd be OK.

Our unit doesn't have a washer/dryer (there's a shared laundry room) which is the biggest downside BY FAR. So I'd look for a place with its own washer/dryer.

I would pick the apartment over the hellish commute for sure.


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## Maluhia (Jun 24, 2007)

LOVE our apartment living after ten years of single family homes...We are in a nice building with concrete walls and noise rules regarding flooring choices so we have no noise issues. There are four apartments per floor (six floors) and two of our neighbors left DD "Santa" gifts at our door two weeks after we moved in. The lift works fine, we have garage parking and I was so happy to downsize I don't think I ever want to go back to enormous consumption!


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## skreader (Nov 19, 2008)

Almost nothing but apartment living here in Hong Kong. 

I agree w/ previous posters who wrote about having a washer in the house- very important. If possible, get a flat that also has some outdoor space (a balcony or a roof-top). We live in an apartment complex ("estate") that has a small playground, a pool, and a kids' play room. These really helped when the kids were young. If you don't have an estate or complex like that, try and find an apartment near a park where it's easy to take the kids.

Having an elevator helps - especially w/ groceries.

We live on the 5th (top floor) of a block w/ 4 flats per floor & altogether 6 blocks. 120 house-holds. We own our section of the roof-top and are able to garden (container) and BBQ there.

re: noise - try and get a place where there are other people w/ kids. Concrete walls and floors & rugs can help keep down the sounds you make.

re: space - practice discipline and try not to accumulate too much stuff and get rid of stuff when you can.


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## waiting2bemommy (Dec 2, 2007)

I've done apartment, house, and duplex. my favorite was the duplex because in the house (my mom's house, middle class neighborhood) i felt like we didn't fit in with the neighbors...they all drove minivans and suvs and sshuttled their kids from one activity to another. There were no kids for him to play with and even thought the backyard was nice there were no sidewalks in the front, and the park was deserted all the time. the duplex was in a more crowded neighborhood and there were zillions of kids. I can deal with cramped quarters inside as long as there is some kind of yard and the street is safe for ds to roam around with a pack of neighbor kids. Right now we're looking for an apartment complex or neighborhood that also has townhomes, so that we can have our own dedicated backyard that we can use for a garden. I would be ok with an apartment if it was on the first floor so that I can send ds out to play without me. I wouldn't be comfortable sending him out to play if we were in an upstairs unit. However, ground floor apartments are less safe in terms of break ins. so it's a toss up.


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## JudiAU (Jun 29, 2008)

I can imagine it being okay, but it stinks for us. We do live in a safe building in a safe area with an excellent landlord but an ungated pool area. But everyone thinks we are noisy and we probably are. Traffic noise and hooligan noise is terrible. The air quality is bad. The walk to the laundry takes forever and we cloth diaper. We don't have any safe outdoor space for anything and our floors are uneven so no push toys or scooters will work. We have great parks but they all require a car ride. Everything still requires a car ride. We have to spend an additional $2400 to get a second parking space which we much have because of poor street parking and nanny.

I am SO DONE with apartment living.


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## bri276 (Mar 24, 2005)

We did pick the condo over the commute. It's great to be a renter in some ways, financially, when stuff goes wrong it's not our problem (like the brand new fridge that broke!) but I DO miss having a yard. We have a playground we can walk to but it's not the same. We end up driving to family's houses that have room to run around when it's a nice day and we want to BBQ or fill up the baby pool. So if you have people nearby who welcome you to drop in and use their yard, it's not too bad. Two hours wasted driving every day would not work in our family, we don't have enough hours in the day for everything that needs to get done as it is, but others with more flexible schedules and different needs deal with it just fine.


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## *bejeweled* (Jul 16, 2003)

This is a huge plus for apartment living for us. There are always kids outside playing soccer, jumping rope, climbing trees, and riding bikes. One of DD's friends is always knocking and asking her to come out to play. In the summer, the pool is awesome. A lot of the house neighborhoods are often vacant. I don't understandy why, but no kids are outside playing.
Quote:


> Originally Posted by *waiting2bemommy*
> 
> I've done apartment, house, and duplex. my favorite was the duplex because in the house (my mom's house, middle class neighborhood) i felt like we didn't fit in with the neighbors...they all drove minivans and suvs and sshuttled their kids from one activity to another. There were no kids for him to play with and even thought the backyard was nice there were no sidewalks in the front, and the park was deserted all the time. the duplex was in a more crowded neighborhood and there were zillions of kids. I can deal with cramped quarters inside as long as there is some kind of yard and the street is safe for ds to roam around with a pack of neighbor kids.


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## kristandthekids (Feb 15, 2011)

.


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## The Imp and I (Feb 14, 2011)

Well i guess it depends. We moved from the farm to a 'Luxury Apartment Complex' we got the ground floor and the attached garage and for the most part its been okay. people always complain about kids from all the whinging I hear other places but we've been botheres by the people above no matter what. the Air Force lady sounded like she was indoor bowling with cats at 3am. the next couple were okay. then they leased the two bed upstairs to two college girls. things were fine until they threw a tuesday night 2am party. then quiet until I had to go tell them to quit two nights ago and they have gone out of their way to be noisy ever since. We are moving as the complex is isolated and i cant function very well here. Another apartment but a big open one downtown whee we can walk to parks and zoos and shops and things. a 5min commute for hubby. its just for one more year then i can buy a house or go home to england or whatever. for us it was the lesser of two evils. DH can come home for lunch and be with his boy. I can function without a car and quit being a shut in. Its cheaper than the farm. on the downside. We HAVE to go to the park to play outside. No garden to plant or wander barefoot in. No pets. I miss the countryside and its a physical need for me BUT I can function. thats the most important bit. Where can everyone function best. If its time at home and easy access to things that you want then the apartment may be the better choice. choose your complex with care.


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## minkajane (Jun 5, 2005)

We're doing some apartment-hunting right now. Our choices are very limited because we're pretty poor, but right now we're trying to choose between a tiny (and I do mean tiny) apartment with a playground and a library and YMCA within walking distance or a townhouse with a full basement that would be a great playroom, but has no playground and isn't in walking distance of anything (but everything is within a short drive, including a science museum we have a membership to). It's really hard to decide!


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## nina_yyc (Nov 5, 2006)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *minkajane*
> 
> We're doing some apartment-hunting right now. Our choices are very limited because we're pretty poor, but right now we're trying to choose between a tiny (and I do mean tiny) apartment with a playground and a library and YMCA within walking distance or a townhouse with a full basement that would be a great playroom, but has no playground and isn't in walking distance of anything (but everything is within a short drive, including a science museum we have a membership to). It's really hard to decide!


Depends. Do you have one car or two? Do you like or dislike driving? Are you a homebody? Does the townhome have a yard, even a small one? If your son will go to school, how far is it?

We bought our 700sf condo when we had one 18mo baby and now that we have two we are definitely looking for more room...will probably move after only 3 yrs here! I say go with the townhome, but that may be a case of the grass is always greener.


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## zannster (Aug 12, 2004)

I couldn't do the apartment. No way. I lived in an apartment when DS was little, and I hated not being able to let him outside. We did have a ground floor unit with the door to outside, but it was near a busy street and risky. Now I have two children, so I wouldn't go back to that. DH has nearly an hour commute by bus. He hates it. Unfortunately, our location doesn't translate into a HUGE yard, but it's bigger than that in the city proper. DH would rather get a house in the city - of which there are many - but that means getting a very small yard, which for me is nearly as bad as an apartment. But I grew up on a farm, and I just have issues with city life.


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## ewe+lamb (Jul 20, 2004)

We've done both, and I would swap my apartment for our old house with garden and the 80 minute commute any day - the quality of life for the kids was just SO much better back then, I really regret moving - but then we moved country as well, small village by the sea for a flat just on the outskirts of Paris, 5 minutes from the beach is so much better than 5 minutes from work!! Our kids also say that they preferred the life out in the open space to living where we do - but then I guess its horses for courses!!


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## Pookietooth (Jul 1, 2002)

We live in an apartment, in fact we always have and we like it OK, especially with regards to the commute. It would be nice to have a yard, but it's nice to be closer in than we could afford otherwise. Never had anyone complain about crying, and I even had a homebirth here.


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## madsommer (Aug 22, 2008)

I am 2.5 years into apartment living with young children and unless you have an elevator or are on the ground level I wouldn't recommend it.

I live on the 3rd floor, which is great for safety reasons and I never have to worry about noise above me. But while walking up may not seem like a big issue at first, trying to get 2 toddlers up and down is quite a drag. It also means that I can't really go grocery shopping during the day with the kids unless I want to leave them unattended in the apartment (which I don't) while I go back and forth from the parking lot to the building. I am also pregnant with my 3rd and physically it's a lot of work. We live in a place that has a pretty horrible winter so it means we stay pretty cooped up from November-February. If you can get a garage, that's a bonus, as having to truck through slush, snow, and -20 temps with kids has not been very fun for me.

On the positive, I live only having 1100 sq feet to clean; I like the freedom of being able to move on to a different place when possible; and it's nice not having to worry about any maintenance issues. Our complex is clean, in a good neighborhood and close to our library, but I do wish there was more for us to do within walking distance. (We live in a suburb so you pretty much have to go every where by car.) We also have a washer and dryer in our unit which was non-negotiable for me.

I would really think about seeing if you can rent a duplex or townhome if you are used to the comforts of living in a house.


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## Tidbitz (Jan 6, 2011)

With kids renting on the first floor is ideal! I dont care if there is an elevator. Trucking in groceries with kids is a pain even in an elevator building. I suggest enjoying apartment living in a mainly home like neighborhood. Meaning, find a professionally managed community that isnt surrounded by other apartment communities. It helps the experience feel much better when traffic and schools arent congested and a neighborhood with lots of homes vs apartments just feels safer for families with smaller children and teens. Enjoy it because there is something super special about having maintenance men who work specifically on your apartment and a swimming pool, multiple washers and dryers....and LOW utilities.


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## *MamaJen* (Apr 24, 2007)

Ha, just found this old thread. I did decide to move into an apartment very close to campus, and it was the best decision ever. I found a really nice little place with a big grassy enclosed courtyard. We're on the ground floor, and it has washer-dryer facilities. It's also feels really safe and well-maintained.

I have to drive down to my old office once per week (basically the reverse of the commute that I would have been doing every day, had we stayed in our old house) and that just really proves to me that I made the right choice. Rush hour commuting sucks! I don't mind it so much once per week, but it would seriously impact my quality of life if I was doing it every day.

Other good things:

--I love seeing the maintenance guys mowing the lawn and stuff. Gawd, how I hate doing yard work, and how I love that someone else does it here. I have my potted plants, and that is more than enough for me to maintain (and even that is touch and go sometimes). I love that I can shoot an email to the apartment manager if something breaks, and a guy is over fixing it (for free) the next day.

--I love living in a pedestrian-friendly urban environment. It really makes me happy. And DS and I both have so many friends in a three-block radius. His daycare is a 10 minute walk down the street. There's also a lot of parks and coffeeshops and stuff super close. This weekend my boyfriend and I rode our bikes downtown for South by Southwest (a big music event) and it was so much fun being able to do that.

--I do sort of miss having a yard for DS, but the courtyard is a pretty close substitute. He seems happy with it.

--I like that the space is smaller and easier to keep clean.

--I feel safer in an apartment than I do in a house. As a single woman, something about being surrounded by people makes me sleep easier at night. I'm not aware of every creak and noise like I was in the house. All the windows are really secure and visible, and there's no sliding door, so it seems safe. I would definitely notice if someone was breaking in.

Thanks for all the advice -- it definitely helped!


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## calynde (Feb 11, 2005)

I'm curious how you all might look at things if:

a) the nice apartment near work costs more than the super nice house with big yard in the burbs

b) the commute involves sitting in a commuter train which is walking distance from the suburban house, NOT driving (one car family)

c) the suburban home is itself in a place with a pretty downtown, shops, restaurants and nature...all walking distance.

how would this sway your preferences?

I am finding this decision more difficult than I ever imagined!







The pros and cons of each seem to keep cancelling each other out. lol


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## pumpkin (Apr 8, 2003)

We lived in a townhouse while DD was 9-15 months. It was pretty stressful. It was small and difficult to babyproof. We had a bit of yard, but every time we went out there I had to be on guard for the inconsiderate neighbors who would let their dogs out without a leash.

The good thing was that the walls between units were thick. I was so nervous the first week. dD would cry and night and I would worry about the neighbors. After a bit I realized that we hardly ever heard them so they probably rarely heard us.

I was so happy when our house was ready and we could move. Having some space and a yard made a huge difference for me.


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## pumpkin (Apr 8, 2003)

If I was to do an apartment again I would look for thick walls, dedicated indoor parking, and a washer and dryer in the unit.


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## *bejeweled* (Jul 16, 2003)

I'm so glad it is working out for you. I too feel safer when I am home alone in an apartment.
Quote:


> Originally Posted by **MamaJen**
> 
> Ha, just found this old thread. I did decide to move into an apartment very close to campus, and it was the best decision ever. I found a really nice little place with a big grassy enclosed courtyard. We're on the ground floor, and it has washer-dryer facilities. It's also feels really safe and well-maintained.
> 
> ...


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