# Kind of got some Bad News today.. *Update*



## MarilynP (Nov 25, 2008)

well, at my doctor's appointment today I kind of got bad news well at least bad news to me..

the doctor says that I am the type of person that would probably have to get stitched up as soon as I found out I was pregnant... which I guess is something I kind of already knew but it just seemed more official when the doctor said it...

I know it doesn't seem like a big deal but pregnancy wasn't fun for me to begin with (not that it is for most women but you always here women talking about how they enjoyed being pregnant etc) I felt nauseated all the time well into my 5 month with both pregnancies.. and to top that all off with being stitched up and being worried about infection etc etc.... I don't know if I could do it..


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## lisa_nc (Jul 25, 2008)

Marilyn, I can't imagine.


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## AbbeyWH (Feb 3, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MarilynP* 
the doctor says that I am the type of person that would probably have to get stitched up as soon as I found out I was pregnant...

What does that mean?


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## lisa_nc (Jul 25, 2008)

I'm assuming cerclage, maybe?


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## MarilynP (Nov 25, 2008)

yeah what Lisa said.. a cervical cerclage....

I have an Incompetent cervix ... it isn't strong enough to carry a baby to term


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## GMum (Apr 25, 2008)

I am so sorry to hear that mama. I don't have any experience of this but I am sure there will be other mamas who have. I just wanted to give you a hug. Take care.


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## Amy&4girls (Oct 30, 2006)

I'm so sorry.


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## millefleur (Nov 25, 2008)

Wow. That is a tough bit of news. Did the doctor go into detail about it? I don't know much about it, but I used to work with a woman who had it and she had good luck with it! I wish I still knew her so I could put you in touch with her! I looked it up http://www.americanpregnancy.org/pregnancycomplications/cervicalcerclage.html and it doesn't seem like much fun, of course, but maybe it wouldn't be sooo terrible?









I guess what I would do after I let the news settle in is a) get another opinion just to make sure, and b) get to the library and the internet and do all of the research I could about it. Then you can make the most informed decision about whether it is something you can go through.

So many hugs to you. I know you have had a tough journey and this news is most certainly a big deal.


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## mrsbabycakes (Sep 28, 2008)

We had plenty of patients that had cerclages, and while it's not "fun" - it doesn't mean that you'll have an especially miserable pregnancy. If it's worth it to you to have a baby, the cerclage isn't going to be a big deal in the end.


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## caro113 (Aug 25, 2008)

I don't really have much to say, other than BTDT. I was throwing up from about 4 wks til five hours before giving birth. So I understand about that. As far as getting stitched up, I had that too. I literally tore in half!! But, I made it through it and never had any infections or anything. What helped me was getting hemorrhoid wipes and lining my pads with them (I'm not sure if it was related, but I had some pretty horrible bleeding, like I actually passed out from losing so much blood) and then putting a line of hemorrhoid cream down the middle of the pads, which over laid each other. It was a wonderfully cooling sensation, but it also numbed the area as it was trying to heal, which was great because then it wasn't itchy or anything. If you going to a hospital, just ask for this stuff and they will give it to you. And no matter how much you still have, ask for more before you leave. That way you don't have to worry about running out and getting some while you're at home recovering from your stitches.
Have you considered water birthing? The water works as a natural relaxant and lessens your chance or tearing or makes your tear less severe. Many women can give birth to 10, 11lb babies in water with no tearing at all. Or so I hear.
Hang in there Momma. You'll be okay. Really. Tearing isn't as bad as you might think, at least it wasn't for me.
Good Luck! and congrats on the babe!!


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## MarilynP (Nov 25, 2008)

I had a cerclage with my last pregnancy..... so it isn't anything new to me.. and like I said I kind of knew I would probbaly have to get another one.. I guess part of me was thinking that maybe I wouldn't have to...

i guess the reason I am upset is that I see other women have babies with no problems and I have to jump through all these hoops

and I am not saying the cerclage would make the pregnancy miserable.. I am miserable when I am pregnant without the cercalge..

I just don't want to go through all that and lose another one.. losing two was hard enough....


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## millefleur (Nov 25, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MarilynP* 
I had a cerclage with my last pregnancy..... so it isn't anything new to me.. and like I said I kind of knew I would probbaly have to get another one.. I guess part of me was thinking that maybe I wouldn't have to...

i guess the reason I am upset is that I see other women have babies with no problems and I have to jump through all these hoops

and I am not saying the cerclage would make the pregnancy miserable.. I am miserable when I am pregnant without the cercalge..

I just don't want to go through all that and lose another one.. losing two was hard enough....


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## MarilynP (Nov 25, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *caro113* 








I don't really have much to say, other than BTDT. I was throwing up from about 4 wks til five hours before giving birth. So I understand about that. As far as getting stitched up, I had that too. I literally tore in half!! But, I made it through it and never had any infections or anything. What helped me was getting hemorrhoid wipes and lining my pads with them (I'm not sure if it was related, but I had some pretty horrible bleeding, like I actually passed out from losing so much blood) and then putting a line of hemorrhoid cream down the middle of the pads, which over laid each other. It was a wonderfully cooling sensation, but it also numbed the area as it was trying to heal, which was great because then it wasn't itchy or anything. If you going to a hospital, just ask for this stuff and they will give it to you. And no matter how much you still have, ask for more before you leave. That way you don't have to worry about running out and getting some while you're at home recovering from your stitches.
Have you considered water birthing? The water works as a natural relaxant and lessens your chance or tearing or makes your tear less severe. Many women can give birth to 10, 11lb babies in water with no tearing at all. Or so I hear.
Hang in there Momma. You'll be okay. Really. Tearing isn't as bad as you might think, at least it wasn't for me.
Good Luck! and congrats on the babe!!

I think we are talking about two different things.. I am talking about when you get your cervix stitched closed while you are pregnant.. it is called a cerclage...

oh and sorry for the confusion but I am not pregnant.. I am trying to decide if I want to get pregnant again...


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## mrsbabycakes (Sep 28, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *caro113* 








I don't really have much to say, other than BTDT. I was throwing up from about 4 wks til five hours before giving birth. So I understand about that. As far as getting stitched up, I had that too. I literally tore in half!! But, I made it through it and never had any infections or anything. What helped me was getting hemorrhoid wipes and lining my pads with them (I'm not sure if it was related, but I had some pretty horrible bleeding, like I actually passed out from losing so much blood) and then putting a line of hemorrhoid cream down the middle of the pads, which over laid each other. It was a wonderfully cooling sensation, but it also numbed the area as it was trying to heal, which was great because then it wasn't itchy or anything. If you going to a hospital, just ask for this stuff and they will give it to you. And no matter how much you still have, ask for more before you leave. That way you don't have to worry about running out and getting some while you're at home recovering from your stitches.
Have you considered water birthing? The water works as a natural relaxant and lessens your chance or tearing or makes your tear less severe. Many women can give birth to 10, 11lb babies in water with no tearing at all. Or so I hear.
Hang in there Momma. You'll be okay. Really. Tearing isn't as bad as you might think, at least it wasn't for me.
Good Luck! and congrats on the babe!!

The stitching the OP was referring to was a cervical stitch, known as a cerclage, not for a vaginal laceration like the kind you get in birth. But wow, you were creative with the wipes and cream! I'll try to remember all that...


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## mrsbabycakes (Sep 28, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MarilynP* 
I just don't want to go through all that and lose another one.. losing two was hard enough....

Absolutely. I can totally understand why you'd feel that way. I'm sorry about all of it. It sucks.


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## caro113 (Aug 25, 2008)

OH!!! I am soo sorry. I misunderstood. Many many apologies!! So do you mean that you need to get stitched during pregnancy or you'll go into labour too soon? DP's aunt has that, but they didn't know about it until after her first, when he was born too early







and during her second pregnancy when she almost lost him too









And about the creativity. As much as I would love to take credit for that, I can't. The nurse in the hospital told me about it. She brought me extra stuff and told me to make sure I asked for more before I left. She was one of the few people who were actually nice to me.

OP: Good Luck with your decision. I'm soo sorry I misunderstood you. I was in bed, trying to sleep, but I had to leave, again, because DPs snoring kept me up, so I'm blaming it on sleep deprivation. I am truly sorry for your losses and I can't imagine having to make such a decision. I hope you find the answer you are seeking. I know it will come to you in time.







: I'm not a praying person, but I can add this to my list of things I try to pray for. Plus I have rather religious friends who pray for such things, especially when it comes to searching for answers like this.


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## MarilynP (Nov 25, 2008)

thanks and no probs about the misunderstanding...

yeah , i got stitched the last time but it was too late, I was already to far and about a week after I start leaking amniotic fluid and then I got an infection that killed the baby... but there wasn't enough fluid left in there so the baby probbaly wouldn't have survived much longer anyways...

i have been struggling with this decision for over a year now... I know my husband is ready to try again but I am not... and i don't know if I will ever be.. so then that makes me feel bad because I think I am being selfish...


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## caro113 (Aug 25, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MarilynP* 
yeah what Lisa said.. a cervical cerclage....

I have an Incompetent cervix ... it isn't strong enough to carry a baby to term

Apparently, I missed this post .. Again, I am soo sorry. We will pray for you and hope you find your answers soon.


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## caro113 (Aug 25, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MarilynP* 
so then that makes me feel bad because I think I am being selfish...

You aren't selfish .. just scared and worried. And that's perfectly acceptable. It's okay.


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## expatmommy (Nov 7, 2006)

I've not had a cerclage, but I have had the never-ending nauseau with all my pregnancies. One of my regrets with Max is that I was too sick to really ever enjoy my pregnancy with him; I was barfy right up until I found out he had died. It all seems royally unfair.

Deciding to try again is a hard decision.


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## famille_huggins (Mar 30, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MarilynP* 
I had a cerclage with my last pregnancy..... so it isn't anything new to me.. and like I said I kind of knew I would probbaly have to get another one.. I guess part of me was thinking that maybe I wouldn't have to...

i guess the reason I am upset is that I see other women have babies with no problems and I have to jump through all these hoops

and I am not saying the cerclage would make the pregnancy miserable.. I am miserable when I am pregnant without the cercalge..

I just don't want to go through all that and lose another one.. losing two was hard enough....

I understand your pain. I've had two transvaginal cerclages, and while I never had any infections or adverse reactions to the cerclages themselves, the risks are frightening, the procedure is humiliating, and they weren't wildly successful for me. (I have a very defiant incompetent cervix.) Both of my transvaginal cerclages failed, with one leading to 15 weeks of bedrest and the other leading to premature birth and death. I now have a transabdominal cerclage, so my cervix can just take a hike (though wouldn't you know it, now it's cooperative and longer than ever).

I also understand your frustration with other women having successful pregnancies when yours is a struggle. Every single pregnancy I've had has been hard, so it's very difficult for me to see women who are angry to be "inconvenienced" by such a blessing (though I know realistically all of our situations are different). Hang in there -- the cerclage is a small sacrifice for a healthy pregnancy, and in the end it won't matter how your baby got here. It will only matter that it got here safe and sound.


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## MarilynP (Nov 25, 2008)

I think I made a decision today... I want to wait another year or so before trying again.. right now I am split about half way..part of me wants to try again and the other part still isn't ready.. that is better then last year around this time, there was no way in heck I wanted to try again..

I just want to give me more time to get as healthy as I can be and also we plan on moving towards the end of this year so I want to be all settled in our new place before we think of trying again..


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## Fireflyforever (May 28, 2008)

Marilyn,

I really pleased for you. I know what a huge deal trying or not is for you. It's really good that you are being proactive and sounding positive about your plans.


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## MarilynP (Nov 25, 2008)

well, that is how I am feeling today.. we will see how things go tomorrow


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## Amy&4girls (Oct 30, 2006)

Thinking of you.


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## caro113 (Aug 25, 2008)

I'm glad you came to a conclusion that you feel comfortable with, at least for today. Good Luck with everything!

Just sending some hugs


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## MarilynP (Nov 25, 2008)

I have yet to talk to my hubby about my plan....there just hasn't been the right moment to do that yet.. he works a crazy shift, he leaves the house around 1pm and sometimes isn't home till like 3 am...

I want him to get healthy to, mainly I want him to quit smoking.... he did quit for a few months when we decided to try again after our first loss but then he started again.....


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## the2amigos (Apr 27, 2005)

What a hard decision for you! I had a cerclage with DS, after four losses (all first trimester). I have another one scheduled for April 9th with this baby. Cerclages suck, being sick all the time sucks, I totally get that. Hopefully an early cerclage would help you get through the next time, if you decide to go through that journey again.

Wishing you peace and good thoughts!


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## JayJay (Aug 1, 2008)

Well, that is a good thing Marilyn







You know in your heart what you want to do, so I think you should do just that. Wait until you really feel comfortable - it's going to be better that way anyway because when you DO get pregnant, the anxiety will probably be lower than if you were pregnant now. I totally understand why you feel this way, and I am totally rooting for you - totally behind you, girl









*HUGE hugs to you*, strong mama! XXXX


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## MarilynP (Nov 25, 2008)

thanks all for the kind words etc..

yeah a part of me is like, oh, we should just try now but in my heart of hearts I know I am not ready yet and that probably wouldn't be good for the pregnancy...


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