# What age do you let your kids stay home alone?



## HarperRose (Feb 22, 2007)

Title says it all.

My oldest is 8 and I've begun thinking about when he'll be able to stay home alone for short periods.

I was 9 when my mom would leave me home for about an hour with my younger brothers -- they were 8 and 3 at the time and this was 20+ yrs ago.

How old? How long? What are the laws in your state? How do I find the laws for mine?


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## captain crunchy (Mar 29, 2005)

DD is only 3 so take it with a grain of salt







In our state (FL) there is no set age - it is up to the parents' discretion.

I would say it depends on your dc. I dunno as I would let an 8 year old babysit younger siblings (too much responsibility for being so young imo) but I would totally allow a mature 8 year old to stay home for very short periods -- like a quick trip to the store, picking another child up from an activity... a pedicure







or something of that nature.

I would make sure dc knew, understood, and agreed with certain "rules" I would feel comfortable setting for a child so young -- don't answer the phone or tell anyone you are home alone, keep the door locked, no answering the door unless it is a family member (like grandmom or whatever), no going outside, no using appliances other than maybe the toaster (or something simple and pretty fire-proof .... things of that nature.

My best friend's sons were 7 and 9 when she left them alone for short periods (like quick trips to the corner store etc) and she is a police officer so she obviously felt this was okay.

I think it depends on the child's maturity level and well, only you and your child know that









My mom would leave my sister and I alone after school until she got home from work (from only about 3pm to 530pm) when we begggggggggggggggggggged her not to have a babysitter anymore. We were about hmmm... 7 and 11? We did fine, but my sister was really mature as well and we had next door neighbors that were friendly and helpful in case of emergency (of which there never was).

Good luck in your decision.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

We live with my FIL, though he is wheelchair-bound, not a hands on grandad, etc- and I will leave my 7 and 9yos

ETA for clarification- for short shopping trips or the like. Not for a day.


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## Kessed (Nov 28, 2007)

I think it depends on how long - and the individual kids...

There was a family that I used to babysit for that still had me come when the kids were 13, 11, 9... I wasn't there to 'babysit' the 13yo. But I was there to keep an eye on him. He had poor decision making abilities (he was perfectly 'fine' - just not very mature) and so he was likely to get caught up in things and do something dumb.

He wasn't ready.

I started staying home for short periods of time when I was 7 or 8. There was a store a few blocks from my house - and my parents were fine with my nanny being away for 20 minutes or so. But 10 or 11 I was allowed to stay home all day all summer. But my parent's owned their own business which was 5 minutes by car. So I would call before I did 'anything'... If I wanted to play outside I called and told her I would be outside for an hour. When I came in - I called her to let her know. A few times she called and got no answer and my dad was home really quickly.


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## A&A (Apr 5, 2004)

Eight is WAYYYYYYY too young. Even my 11 yo isn't ready for it yet.

Any "quick trip" away from home could turn into something much bigger/longer if you got into an accident. And then you could be charged with child neglect.


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## Lil'M (Oct 27, 2002)

I let my 11 year old stay home for about an hour and my 7 1/2 year old stay home for 5-10 minutes, like when I drop the babysitter off at the bus or if she gets off the school bus 5 minutes before I get home (she has her own key). I believe 12 is the age dd1 can legally babysit, but I'm not sure she will be mature enough to do that yet. And I would not leave my kids alone together for any major length of time until they stop fighting so much.


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## primjillie (May 4, 2004)

I didn't feel comfortable until they were about 12 or 13. I think younger than that is too young, unless you are next door or somewhere accessible.


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

I let my girls stay home alone for half an hour or an hour at a time starting around age 9 or 10. I'd certainly wait longer for a child who didn't seem mature enough.

I didn't let DD1 babysit until she was 12. I'd planned to do the same with DD2 but at 11.5 I decided she and DS were mature enough for her to watch him.

I checked the NYS CPS webpage before leaving DD1 home alone. It's pretty vague and said 'when the child is mature enough" and the babysitting page said to use judgement about the maturity of the babysitter and the younger child(ren).


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## kay4 (Nov 30, 2004)

My oldest is 13 and I don't let her stay home alone or with siblings. She doesn't have the maturity and self control yet and fights too much with her siblings for me to be comfortable leaving the house for even 5 minutes. Something that we are working on, but it will be a couple years at least....Most of her friends stay home alone and/or watch siblings


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## HarperRose (Feb 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *A&A* 
Eight is WAYYYYYYY too young. Even my 11 yo isn't ready for it yet.

Any "quick trip" away from home could turn into something much bigger/longer if you got into an accident. And then you could be charged with child neglect.

Oh, I absolutely agree. I realized that my post came across as me being ok with leaving my 8 yr old with younger sibs. (They're 8,6, and 7 mos. NO WAY.) That's not it at all. It's just a topic that I've been thinking of in recent weeks.

I don't think it was safe for my mom to leave me home responsible for my younger brothers at 9 yrs old, either. (However, 1 car family, she needed the vehicle, so had to drive dad to work at 6 AM.)


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## MamaChicken (Aug 21, 2006)

My DS is 9. Last year I wouldn't leave him home alone for more than 5 minutes to walk to the mailbox. But this year, he has really matured and I will leave him home for an hour or sometimes two. However, I have several nieghbors that I could call if something came up. He also has their phone numbers if I am gone longer than expected and he can't reach me by cell phone.

He doesn't get to babysit his little sister yet, though. He is too easily distractable.


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## CarrieMF (Mar 7, 2004)

Here there are no laws on what age a child can be left home alone.

My oldest is 9 & I've left her for up to 1.5 hours by herself. Her sisters are 6 & 7. on occassion left her sisters by themselves for a few minutes. Once case of that was when it was -40F without the windchill & I had to run something to the school for one of my other kids(or pick them up). We are 2 minutes from the school.


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## Pancakes (Jan 22, 2008)

DD was 10 before I started leaving her alone for short periods. It was more an issue with my comfort level more so than hers. I've never left her for more than an hour or two, but that's not because she couldn't handle it, just that I don't have anywhere to go for longer than that. I could not leave DS (8) alone or even with DD, they fight too much and I'm afraid they'd tear down the house while I was gone. That said, I will leave them in the house alone while I run. I'm usually gone for about 30 minutes, but I'm running past the house every 5.


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## grniys (Aug 22, 2006)

Hmm... I was pretty young when I was left home alone, and shortly after that I was expected to babysit younger cousins. I was a mature child, but still. Anything could have happened. Especially at night.

I'm thinking 11-12 would probably be ok. But I don't think I'd do it before then. And even then not for more than 1-2 hours and not all the time. But if the kid weren't ready then it would be even longer.


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## Kessed (Nov 28, 2007)

Just want to say...

You can get the Canadian and American Red Cross babysitter certificate starting at 11...

http://www.redcross.ca/article.asp?id=628&tid=021
http://www.redcross.org/services/hss...babyindex.html


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## Lil'M (Oct 27, 2002)

Here is what I found on my state:

http://www.njla.org/statements/children_libraries.html

Basically, I'm within their guidelines, but I'm following my gut on what my kids can handle and what is safe for them.


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## Alyantavid (Sep 10, 2004)

I don't know. My oldest is only 6 and while I really do feel he would be fine for 5-10 minutes, the thought of someone breaking in or a fire starting or anything just freaks me out. I'm guessing 10 at the earliest and without being in charge of his brother.


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## primjillie (May 4, 2004)

I think a lot of kids would probably be fine for a couple of minutes. But would they be fine if you didn't come home? Even if the school is 2 minutes away, what if you had a stroke or got hit by a car? Would your little ones know what to do? I think that is a major issue when considering to leave your children home alone.


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## CarrieMF (Mar 7, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *primjillie* 
I think a lot of kids would probably be fine for a couple of minutes. But would they be fine if you didn't come home? Even if the school is 2 minutes away, what if you had a stroke or got hit by a car? Would your little ones know what to do? I think that is a major issue when considering to leave your children home alone.

That same stuff can happen while you are at home, or on a walk with your kids. I don't live my life based on the rarity and fear of "what if's".


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## CharlieBrown (Jan 20, 2004)

I let my 8 and 10 yo stay home alone for 1-2 hours. I am in the general neighborhood.


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## A&A (Apr 5, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CarrieMF* 
That same stuff can happen while you are at home, or on a walk with your kids.

You can somehow manage to get in car accident while at home?









Statistical analysis will show that a car coming through your living room window (or even hitting you on the sidewalk while you take a walk) is a very rare occurrence.

Getting in a car accident while you are driving, however, is a much more likely occurrence.

Gotta go with the odds and not leave kids home alone before they are old enough (which I would vote is at least 13.)

PLUS: If you leave an 8 yo. home alone, you get in a car accident, something happens at home which injures your child, you'll be charged with child neglect.

If you take a walk with your kids and you happen to get hit by a car (again, very rare), you won't be charged with child neglect.


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## ChristaN (Feb 14, 2003)

This link has guidelines by state in the US. Most states don't have strict laws, it would appear, but rather recommendations.


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## springbabes (Aug 23, 2003)

Well, if I were ever in a car accident I would prefer that my children were home alone--I certainly wouldn't want them in the car with me







.

Seriously though, if your kids were home alone and you didn't come back don't you think they'd call someone? It's not like an 8 yo old is just going to sit inside the house and slowly starve to death because you didn't return. And talking about improbabilities, what would be the chances that you would both meet with separate accidents at the same time?

I've been leaving my kids home alone for short periods starting around 8 and they've always done fine with it.


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## CarrieMF (Mar 7, 2004)

Quote:

You can somehow manage to get in car accident while at home?
yeah that's exactly what I said(extreme sarcasim here). The person I was responding to also mentioned stroke happening if you were gone. There are the other things people mentioned too like a robbery, fire, injuries, etc that can all happen while you are at home. They happen even when parent is standing right next to the child.

Quote:

PLUS: If you leave an 8 yo. home alone, you get in a car accident, something happens at home which injures your child, you'll be charged with child neglect.
Maybe, IF the laws state that the child should not have been left home alone. You mentioned that the chance of a car coming through your house is rare, I'd guess that being in an accidnet & having your child at home injured around the same time are just as rare.

Quote:

If you take a walk with your kids and you happen to get hit by a car (again, very rare), you won't be charged with child neglect.
No but if you're on a walk with your kids & you get hit by a car(which is more likely to happen than a car-car accident in this town) & are knocked unconscious our killed your child is still left alone & not every driver will stop & not every situation will have a witness.

Again, I don't live my life in fear of rare events or what if's. I am not teaching my children to live in fear of the unknown & low chances of something happening. Ie, not directly related to leaving kids alone but a similar thought process. My neighbor is scared of storms, especially anything that may turn into a tornado. She in turn has put that fear into her kids. Every thunderstorm they're terrified. Yeah we've had tornados here, not as bad as in other places(3-4 times a year 1 MAY touch the ground). We live across the street from her, but do not hold the same fear she does. Living in fear of the rare chance of something occuring every time a storm came up I'd grab the kids & personal papers and hide out in the basement. We don't becuase we know the chance of it actually happening is slim, even when there is a tornado watch & warning we don't. We had a wind storm & thunderstorm watch the other night that brought us F1-F2 Tornado winds & we didn't hide out JIC there was that rare chance that anything would touch down.


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## pigpokey (Feb 23, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *A&A* 
PLUS: If you leave an 8 yo. home alone, you get in a car accident, something happens at home which injures your child, you'll be charged with child neglect.

If you take a walk with your kids and you happen to get hit by a car (again, very rare), you won't be charged with child neglect.

As an ex-lawyer I don't know why you think the first situation *would* be charged with neglect unless there are specific laws making it illegal to leave a child of a certain age home alone. Most jurisdictions don't have those. It always *might* be charged, but it doesn't seem likely unless the parent was doing something neglectful without respect to the consequences of the parent's car accident.

If you intend to leave your responsible 13 year old alone for 4 hours and have an accident and wake up in the hospital 48 hours later, I would think you would not be charged.

Similarly I doubt they would charge someone who intended to leave her responsible 9 year old for 15 minutes but woke up in the hospital 8 hours later.


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## mistymama (Oct 12, 2004)

My child is only 5.5, so I really don't know.

I think my Mom started leaving me alone to babysit my sisters at about 11, my sisters were 5 & 6 then. It was never for very long, we were not allowed to open the door or go outside and she had a cellphone that she would check in with.

My son is very mature and has always been a careful child ... even as a baby he was very aware of being cautious and not hurting himself or doing anything dangerous. I can see leaving him alone for short trips around age 11. I don't think I would leave him responsible for any younger children, but I can see leaving him alone.

I guess I'll know for sure once we get there. I actually trust that he would be fine for an hour or two by himself now, that's how careful he is, but there is no way I'd actually do that.









So I'm going to say age 11. We'll see if I still agree in another 5 years.


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## Kessed (Nov 28, 2007)

I want to add...

I wouldn't leave my child home alone unless I was sure that they were old enough (and mature enough) and able to go to a neighbor or call a relative if they felt something was wrong.

So - I don't see what the argument is about getting into a car accident and the kid being left alone for 48 hours is... I wouldn't leave a child who couldn't call their grandma or Aunt after I was gone longer than I said I would.

So I think that's a ridiculous example to bring into this.

And that's why I think age requirements are stupid. It all depends on the child. If the kid would sit forlorn by themself for 48 hours when their mom didn't come home - that kid isn't ready to be left by themself. That's pretty common sense.


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## A&A (Apr 5, 2004)

Y'all can do what you want with your kids, I guess. Personally I'm just not taking any chances with my kids being alone until at least age 13.


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## UnschoolnMa (Jun 14, 2004)

Somewhere around 10 we started experimenting with that for very short periods. By the time Ds was 13 and Dd was 11 they could be home alone for some good bits of time alone.


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## Kessed (Nov 28, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *A&A* 









Y'all can do what you want with your kids, I guess. Personally I'm just not taking any chances with my kids being alone until at least age 13.

What do you worry that could happen?

I'm trying to think of all the worst case scenarios... And I can't imagine what advantage a 13yo would have over a 12yo...

They are both old enough to exit the house in case of fire. They can work a telephone to call for help. They can fix themself a snack - or at the very least, help themselves to some crackers from the pantry.

Is there something magical that happens on the 13th birthday?

I would say that 'many' kids are fully competent to stay home alone by 10 or 11.


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## A&A (Apr 5, 2004)

"The National SAFEKIDS Campaign recommends that no child under the age of 12 be left at home alone. "

From a PP's link.

Kudos to Illinois who made age 13 the law.


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## GardenStream (Aug 21, 2007)

This is kind of off topic, but I had to tell the story since it has come up a couple times. My dad actually left me at home alone when I was little. I'm guessing I was about 6 months old. He wanted to drive to the store down the street and knew it would only take a couple minutes. I was asleep, so he decided to just go and not wake me up. Well, he got into a car accident on the way to the store. He actually told the cop that came out to investigate that he didn't have time to deal with the accident because he has a sleeping baby at home. The cop told my dad to just go home because it clearly wasn't his fault. The cop also told dad that it was a good think I wasn't in the car because I could have been hurt.

My mom didn't agree, and was livid when she found out what my father had done! He never left a kid home alone after that.

I guess things were different in the 70's...


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## Kessed (Nov 28, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *A&A* 
"The National SAFEKIDS Campaign recommends that no child under the age of 12 be left at home alone. "

From a PP's link.

Kudos to Illinois who made age 13 the law.

How exactly do they hope to enforce that?

Will they take a child away and put them in foster care if a parent leaves them alone?????

That's completely ridiculous.

A HUGE part of North America's problems stem from how long we try to keep our kids babies.


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## A&A (Apr 5, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kessed* 

A HUGE part of North America's problems stem from how long we try to keep our kids babies.

I can name numerous problems in America that are WAY bigger than that. But whatever. To each her own.

And I didn't say "magically on the 13th birthday." I said _at least_ 13 for my child. We'll have to see. It may be older than that. (My oldest is 11 now.) And I really don't have any _*compelling*_ reason to leave kids at home alone, anyway, even though I work full time. I use babysitters (even for the before/after school time.) Or I take my children with me. Or I just don't go to events where I can't find a babysitter and I can't take my children.


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## katheek77 (Mar 13, 2007)

I started staying home alone (after school, and, occassionally if I were sick) when I was 8 (mom worked about 20 minutes away, grandma lived nearby, and I knew how to work the phone, go to the neighbor's, fix myself a sandwich, etc.)

I was babysitting at 11. I remember clearly my sister (2.5 years younger) and I being baby-sat by our neighbor when I was 6/7 and she was 5 years older than us, so, she was 11/12.

A lot depends on the maturity level of the child and the situation (how long, where will mom/dad be, are their neighbors you trust nearby, etc.). I don't think there's a one size fits all, but I think 13 is waaay over the limit for an across the board minimum (note: I said "across the board"...if your personal comfort level is 13, that's great, but, please don't try to enforce it upon me).


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## ChristaN (Feb 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *A&A* 
"The National SAFEKIDS Campaign recommends that no child under the age of 12 be left at home alone. "

From a PP's link.

Even though I am the PP who posted that link, the way our school system is set up has made that age guideline virtually impossible for us, personally, to follow. I'm still working on how we are going to work this out, but my older dd will be starting middle school right as she turns 10. There is no before or after-school care available at the middle school and I do work pt. I can't always be home exactly at the time the bus will drop her off and she can't stay at school later to wait for me to pick her up later. The highschools also get out too late to have a highschool student pick her up or be waiting at our house for her to get home.

I'm sure that we'll come up with something, but even though our state says that they recommend age 12 as the age at which you can leave a child home alone, at least half of the kids in the state will be starting middle school (6th grade) by age 11 and, presumably, quite a few of them will be in the same spot we are with no after-school care available and limited, if any, babysitting options with the highschoolers all getting out later than the middle schoolers.


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## A&A (Apr 5, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ChristaN* 
Even though I am the PP who posted that link, the way our school system is set up has made that age guideline virtually impossible for us, personally, to follow. I'm still working on how we are going to work this out, but my older dd will be starting middle school right as she turns 10. There is no before or after-school care available at the middle school and I do work pt. I can't always be home exactly at the time the bus will drop her off and she can't stay at school later to wait for me to pick her up later. The highschools also get out too late to have a highschool student pick her up or be waiting at our house for her to get home.

I'm sure that we'll come up with something, but even though our state says that they recommend age 12 as the age at which you can leave a child home alone, at least half of the kids in the state will be starting middle school (6th grade) by age 11 and, presumably, quite a few of them will be in the same spot we are with no after-school care available and limited, if any, babysitting options with the highschoolers all getting out later than the middle schoolers.


Contact the PTA president. Ask her if any moms in the area would like to make a little money watching your child after school.

(And I agree that it's FRUSTRATING that there aren't more options for care for Middle Schoolers.)


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## primjillie (May 4, 2004)

I don't live my life in fear of "what ifs", but as a responsible parent, I feel it would be neglectful to not at least consider these items. If I am home and something happens (stroke, bad fall, etc.), I would probably have a good chance of giving my young children instructions on who to call or to go for a neighbor. But if it happens when my 8 year is at home alone and watching tv or playing nintendo, would they have a good grasp of how long is too long to pass before worrying? I wouldn't want to depend on a child younger than 12 or so to assume this responsibility. Here on MDC there seems to be a theme to keeping kids babies as long as possible, but not when it interfers with the mom running around without the kids or not having to pay a babysitter? I don't get it.


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## 1xmom (Dec 30, 2003)

My dd is 8 and according to our state laws is old enough to be left alone. Would I leave her home alone? NO. She is mature for her age and would more than likely be fine for a few minutes here or there. I would feel more comfortable if she were around 10 or so.


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## macca333 (Jun 14, 2008)

I wouldn't leave my children home alone until they were at least 14> I would consider it before that age if they could prove to me that they are mature enough.


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## tsume (Jun 4, 2005)

I'm not sure. Dh took our almost 7 year old to the dentist to get some work done. DH brought DS home, settled him on the couch and ran to the store to get some soft food for DS.

You can see the store from our house, so not far at all, but I was really upset when I heard about that.

But I do know latchkey Kindergartners and 1st graders - all younger than DS - and I don't see a problem with that. I think that's because there is no choice in those situations (parents have to work and there are severly limited child care options).

I am comfortable leaving the almost 7 and almost 5 yer old if I go to the neighbors house to dro something off. The across the street or 3 doors down nabes.


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## Arwyn (Sep 9, 2004)

This is fascinating to me. By age 13, I had been menstruating for 3 years, I was probably about 5'7", and I'd been coming home after school by myself (sometimes my 7-years-older brother would be home too, sometimes not, but by myself I biked or walked or bummed a ride from friends the 1-2 miles home from school) for about five years. I knew my mom's work number, her pager number, dad's work number, our number (of course), when to call 911, when NOT to call 911, how to fix myself a snack, not to open the door for strangers, what to do if my parents weren't home when I was expecting them, how to answer the phone and what to say to not make it look like I was home alone, what to do in case of a fire, etc, etc. I wasn't a particularly advanced 8, 9, 10 year old either.

I know 8 year olds look LOTS younger to me now than they used to, and I don't know that I'll leave my 8yo alone in the house, but I gotta say, to me, 13 seems way overkill. I think we, in America, are spending too much time "protecting" our kids from what ifs, and not paying enough attention to all the ways we're damaging them in the process. (Example -- I grew up in the time when 8 was still old enough to be a latchkey kid, but young enough that I was encouraged to stay indoors rather than head to the park, and as a consequence, grew up addicted to TV and without knowing many people in my neighbourhood. That's a problem in my view.)

But of course, that's just my opinion.


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## Jennyfur (Jan 30, 2007)

I allowed my children to be alone for short periods of time when they were around 8 years old. My older kids began babysitting at age 13.

Now that my youngest is about to turn 10, I'm comfortable leaving her alone for a couple of hours or so.

I always leave phone numbers for her in case of an emergency, and we have responsible next-door neighbors.


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## BathrobeGoddess (Nov 19, 2001)

My dd started staying home for short periods around ten...she is now 13 and babysits her youngers sometimes.


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## becoming (Apr 11, 2003)

My DS will be 7 in October and is nowhere near the vicinity of being ready to stay home alone. He would be terrified anyway. I'm thinking he will be 10 or 11 before I even leave him here while I run to the corner store.


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## chfriend (Aug 29, 2002)

The link for the state by state law is for an organization selling help for parents whose kids stay alone after school. They have not correctly stated the Illinois law:

http://ccrs.hcd.uiuc.edu/parents/homealone.htm

A minor under 14 may not be left alone for an "unreasonable time."

It does not say the child needs to be 13 to be left alone for *any* period of time.

"Illinois law defines a neglected minor, in part, as "any minor under the age of 14 years whose parent or other person responsible for the minor's welfare leaves the minor without supervision for an unreasonable period of time without regard for the mental or physical health, safety or welfare of that minor."
Juvenile Court Act, 705 ILCS 405/2-3(1)(d)"


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## christyc (Mar 22, 2006)

I think it depends on the kid.

And I don't get the comment about moms on MDC wanting to keep their kids babies as long as possible except when it's inconvenient. Most of the moms I know on MDC (and I'll admit I don't know them all) seem to be a lot more deliberate about encouraging self-responsibility and healthy independence in their children than most mainstream moms I know.

ETA: The thought of a latchkey kindergartner or 1st grader makes me VERY, VERY sad and scared. I do believe 8 is the youngest I can imagine leaving a child alone. My oldest was (and is) VERY mature for his age, and we began leaving him alone for brief periods (10 minutes or so) at age 8.


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## A&A (Apr 5, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Arwyn* 
and not paying enough attention to all the ways we're damaging them in the process. (Example -- I grew up in the time when 8 was still old enough to be a latchkey kid, but young enough that I was encouraged to stay indoors rather than head to the park, and as a consequence, grew up addicted to TV and without knowing many people in my neighbourhood. That's a problem in my view.)

But of course, that's just my opinion.

We went on a 5 mile bike ride today. My kids get out. (They just do it with their parents.)


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## velochic (May 13, 2002)

So, for us, I will not broach the subject until dd brings it up and then we'll evaluate it together.


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## Marilde (Jun 24, 2008)

My 14 year old can stay home alone taking care of her 8 year old brother and 5 year old sisters for long hours, my 8 year old boy can't stay home along much less with his sisters he gets scared and he doesn't have the maturity to stay home alone.
But when my DD is home alone with the kids, my son stays in his room, and the girls just play quietly and obey DD.


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## Arwyn (Sep 9, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *A&A* 
We went on a 5 mile bike ride today. My kids get out. (They just do it with their parents.)









OK. Good for you (and them). My point had nothing to do with whether or not your kids got out, though.


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## Arwyn (Sep 9, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *velochic* 
What is interesting to me is that nowhere in this thread has anyone mentioned that they will start considering letting their children stay home alone when their CHILDREN feel ready.

My first thought is that that went without saying. My second is that that implies the privilege to have the choice whether or not to leave the decision up to the kid. In my example (myself), my parents _could_ have found an alternative after school situation if I'd needed it, but the question wasn't "do you want to stay home by yourself? are you itching for the chance?" but "is this something you feel capable of doing? would you be OK with it?" (to which the answer, as of 3rd grade, during the first part of which my dad was home to meet me, was yes). I'm not saying one set of questions is always better than the other, just that there's a difference qualitatively between waiting for the child to initiate the alone-time and asking if they're ready for that responsibility yet, and that one's life situation will dictate which set is the default.


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## kayjayjay (Jul 15, 2003)

This is a very interesting discussion for me since we've just started letting my 12yo DD babysit her 7yo and 4yo sisters for a few minutes here and there. I don't leave the baby with her because she isn't comfortable watching her.

I will say I have a problem with laws telling me at what age I can leave my kids. I would like to be able to use my own common sense (which I have in abundance) to decide what's best for our family.


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## annethcz (Apr 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *velochic* 
What is interesting to me is that nowhere in this thread has anyone mentioned that they will start considering letting their children stay home alone when their CHILDREN feel ready.

The problem with this is that my kids have been asking me to leave them home alone since they were 4







I seriously remember my kids asking if they could stay home while I went to run errands at that young age. Obviously the answer was no.

In any case, my 7 & 8yos have been home alone for short periods of time, and it was just fine.


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## velochic (May 13, 2002)

Darn I was trying to quote myself and then I screwed up my original post.

What I was trying to say is that I wouldn't talk about it until my child talked to me first, then, as I originally pointed out, that we start talking about it together. Not for them to make the decision, but to start evaluating the situation at that point.

In Anne's case, it would be a very, very long discussion.


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## cutekid (Aug 5, 2004)

I haven't read the entire thread yet but I remember staying home alone starting about the age of 9. I was babysitting two infants around the age of 13. My parents were cross country truck drivers and left my sister, my brother and me on a number of occasions for several weeks at a time. I was about 14, my brother was 18 but he worked in the day time. So essentially for several hours a day it was just my little sister and I.

My step daughter I would leave home alone, in fact I have taken them to the library and will allow them to ride their bikes into town if they want to. I am not a fan of letting a child be afraid to venture away from their home alone or stay alone. Its part of growing up plain and simple.
I think by far the youngest I would let a child stay home alone..without older super vision would be 10 or 11.

Finally I lived in a neighborhood of latch key childern. I would say the majority of them come from single parent homes. When we first moved in the lady across the road came to meet me. She told me her situation and what to look out for because her childern were to stay inside. I found out a lot of the parents in the neighborhood did this.


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## maplesugar (May 24, 2005)

I would not feel comfortable leaving ds home alone at almost ten.

I remember when I was a youngun in the eighties, a lot of my 8-9 year old friends were routinely left home alone all day while their parents worked!







:

One of my friends was eight or nine and was home alone all day with her six year old sister. We would go to her house to make prank phone calls and get into general michief. This just blows my mind now as a parent to think how common this was in my neighborhood.

And I started babysitting for long periods of time starting around age 11. I was a fulltime summer caregiver for a couple of tots at age 13. What were those parents thinking?


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## honeybee (Mar 12, 2004)

I watched my brothers full time in the summer starting when I was 11 and they were 8 and 7. That was really NOT a good situation, and I will never do that to my kids.

I was perfectly capable of staying home alone at that point, but it was too much responsibility watching my brothers, who really should not have been home alone for such a long period of time.

I guess it will depend on my kids as they get older. I would like to avoid the latch-key kid scenario, where they are alone every day on a regular basis after school, but an occasional outing would be fine depending on maturity and access to nearby help, like a trusted neighbor.


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## hippiemum21580 (Jul 14, 2007)

My son is 7. I live in an apartment complex and have left him alone to watch a movie while i went across the lot to sit on a nighbors porch and have a drink. My apartment is always within view. Clear view. I totally trust him to not get into stuff in the house. He can get his own drinks and snacks and all that and knows better than to mess with the stove, etc... BUT I cannot say I believe he would be 100% trustworthy as far as not answering the door for a stranger and staying in the house with teh door locked if I was not there. Just my intuition. Though we discuss such things often.
I am guessing probbaly around age 9 he could stay home whiel I ran to the store? I know that was how old I was when I woudl babysit my little brother here and there when my mom went to the store. Depends on each child. I have a 10 yr odl sis who cannot be trusted alone at all! I know teenagers who are not mature enough!


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## hippiemum21580 (Jul 14, 2007)

maplesugar...so true! I remember being 12 and babysitting overnight for a newborn! Blows my mind as a mom now! Just to clarify, when I say age 9...I am thinking of running to walmart which is a 3 minute drive away and he woudl NOT be left with youger siblings!


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *A&A* 
Eight is WAYYYYYYY too young. Even my 11 yo isn't ready for it yet.

Any "quick trip" away from home could turn into something much bigger/longer if you got into an accident. And then you could be charged with child neglect.

I don't believe you would be charged with neglect for leaving a child of legal age home alone for a short period of time.

Quote:

What I was trying to say is that I wouldn't talk about it until my child talked to me first, then, as I originally pointed out, that we start talking about it together. Not for them to make the decision, but to start evaluating the situation at that point.
My seven year old has been bringing it up for the past six months. I told him that we would talk about it more when he's 8.5-9yrs.


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## CarrieMF (Mar 7, 2004)

Quote:

What is interesting to me is that nowhere in this thread has anyone mentioned that they will start considering letting their children stay home alone when their CHILDREN feel ready.

Quote:

What I was trying to say is that I wouldn't talk about it until my child talked to me first, then, as I originally pointed out, that we start talking about it together. Not for them to make the decision, but to start evaluating the situation at that point.
I brought it up to my child first. IMO it showed her that *I* felt she was old enough & mature enough to handle the responsbility of being by herself for 30-60minutes. I asked her if she wanted to stay by herself or come with me. Sometimes she wanted to stay, other times she wanted to come. IMO if she did not feel she was ready she would not have stayed by herself. sometimes kids need to be pushed a little to do things you know they are capable of but they need that extra bit of confidence from you to know it themselves. It's been about 9months since I've been leaving my 9yo by herself & at times with her sisters(who are 6, & 7). If I ask her if she's coming she wants to know what we're doing first. If we're NOT going to the bookstore or store where she MAY get something she doesn't want to come.lol


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## mama_ani (Aug 2, 2007)

I haven't read any replies yet. I think the age depends on the child.
In my family...
My oldest started staying home for short (30 minutes or less) periods at 8 (so her sisters would have been 7 and 5.5 and would be with her sometimes, other times just her alone) My next oldest has never been home alone because she has never been comfortable with the idea. My next oldest is now 10 and is just starting to stay home alone. Her maturity level isn't at the same place my oldest's was at 8. I rarely leave 10 yo alone at home, but sometimes she stays home when dh is asleep upstairs. My husband has been working nights for a couple months now so he's home, either asleep or awake, all the time during the day so I have relaxed a lot about how long the kids can be home 'alone' now.


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