# Cesarean Birth Support Thread June/July



## coloradoalice (Oct 12, 2005)

Hi ladies!!

Our April/May thread got pretty long, thought it was time for another.

I'm Alice mom to Gracie and Ian, both c-section babies. Gracie was planned to be a homebirth, but I had PROM and after 36 hours my midwife transferred me to augment labor. Another 12 hours later I had very little progress and fetal distress, so we had a c-section. It ended up I also had undiagnosed GD, my midwives didn't screen for it, so Gracie (a whopping 10lbs, 12 oz) was in the NICU with blood sugar issues, as well as problems breathing from aspirating meconium and an inability to maintain body temperature. We were so glad to go home 6 days later. The whole experience was tramatic and I ended up with PPD and horrible breastfeeding issues. Thank goodness we worked through it.....
Ian was planned to be a VBAC, but this time I didn't set myself up for such huge disappointment, I was open to the idea of a c-section. I actually had labor with him, but still to no avail, no progress, stuck for hours, groaning through pitocin without an epidural. After 24 hours I concented to the c-section. Ian was a healthy little baby born only minutes after my epidural took effect. We had a much better hospital stay (he was never out of my arms!!), and we went home in less than 48 hours. No breastfeeding issues, and no PPD!!









I am glad for the healthy children I have, and although I would have loved to have given birth naturally I have accepted that it wasn't in the cards for me.

So..........what's your story??


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## YankeeResolute (Jun 7, 2006)

Warning; slightly graphic. I had an emergency c-section last month and after a long, intensely painful induced labor. I'm still in shock from what happened and also physically tapped out from this birth and the first weeks of newborn hell.

There was every reason to expect a smooth delivery after a largely uneventful pregnancy but my water broke and the contractions weren't strong enough after 7 hours. I was induced twice with that cervical ripener (name escapes me), but couldn't get an epidural for the incredibly horrible labor (passing out from pain, screaming) because I wasn't dialated enough. About 4-5 hours went by until they gave me an IV narcotic and an epidural a little bit later. Then I pushed for 3 more hours but no progress. So the epidural was switched off because I couldn't really tell where I was pushing. Back to massive pain. The baby was stuck. I swelled up twice as much as someone who's just had a vaginal birth. The doctor on duty finally said enough and I had a c-section. It was the easy part of my day. The baby was all right except for a big lump on her head, which is slowly going away.

Thing is, I never had a birth plan because I knew anything could happen. I wanted an epidural anyway if the pain got bad. I wasn't even adverse to a c-section if events warranted. But this was too much to ask of any person. It was supposed to be a happy event, not 20 hours of total pain, fear, drug-induced confusion and fatigue. I can't stop thinking about it and can't make any sense of it either. I'm pretty much shut-in right now with no family support (live away from hometown & I'm not close to any of my in-laws) and my husband is clueless about these things and doesn't want to talk about it. So that's how it is and I'm glad to vent online. Thanks for listening.


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## Lovinmy2babies+1 (Mar 18, 2006)

My 2 were born by c-section.

My DD was 3 days overdue and my water broke before labor. 2.5 hours later I was ready for pushing. I pushed for 2.5 hours and got wore out...OB gave me a c-section. She was 10 lb. 3 oz.

My DS was supposed to be a VBAC, but a week before he was born, my OB (same one I had with DD) said that he was going to be another 10 pounder and said I had no option. I had no idea I had choices at the time. He was 8 lb. 6 oz.

I'm currently pregnant and really want a VBAC and have no idea how it'll end up.


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## *violet* (Mar 24, 2004)

Another mom who has had 2 c-sections.

Very, very short version: Ds1 was a long labor, there were some medical issues, and he was delivered via c/s because of fetal distress. He was perfectly fine and healthy. Ds2 was going to be a VBAC, but for various reasons, including problems with my health and his failure to engage or appear at 42 weeks, was another c/s.

To be honest, I was very, very upset at the outcome of ds1's birth. I never even imagined that I would have a c/s. However, I am completely at peace with the birth of my second son. I think because although I desperately wanted a VBAC, I kept myself open to what might happen, KWIM?


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## egoldber (Nov 18, 2002)

I talked to my OB about doing a few things "outside the box" at my planned C-section in November.

1) Leaving one hand unstrapped
2) Having baby on my chest immediately after delivery
3) Having 2 support people in the OR so that I was not "alone" for the stitching up part

My OB was fine with it, but said that her influence was somewhat limited since much of that is governed by hospital policy.

Anyone have any experience getting these types of requests accommodated at hospitals? Who did you talk to in order to make these things happen?


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## lexbeach (Mar 6, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *egoldber*
I talked to my OB about doing a few things "outside the box" at my planned C-section in November.

1) Leaving one hand unstrapped
2) Having baby on my chest immediately after delivery
3) Having 2 support people in the OR so that I was not "alone" for the stitching up part

My OB was fine with it, but said that her influence was somewhat limited since much of that is governed by hospital policy.

Anyone have any experience getting these types of requests accommodated at hospitals? Who did you talk to in order to make these things happen?

The policy at the hospital where I had my c/s was to allow two support people in the operating room, so I didn't have to do anything to request that. I also had at least one hand unstrapped (can't really remember what my right hand was doing, but I know I could move my left arm and hand). I did not feel able to hold the babies or have them placed on my chest after the delivery (the stitching up part was very painful for me. . . epidural problem I assume), but I did request that the babies never leave my side, and that wish was honored without hesitation (although the nurses thought I was nuts for not wanting them bathed immediately. . . we bathed them ourselves a few hours later). Dw held the babies next to me, and I touched them and admired them, and then when I was all stitched up, they put them in bed with me and wheeled us all together to my recovery room. Unfortunately I was so drugged and out-of-it that I still felt like, "what, these are my babies?" but I think it was a fairly ideal c-section scenario.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *allycat*
Now I am having second thoughs about the C-section. Although the baby was not coming out now I feel that I am not bonding as well as I would have if I would have pushed my baby out.

Is this normal to feel this way? I am loving everything about my son, but at times I feel that there is something missing. Does it get better? I cry quite a bit lately about anything.

I did have trouble with connecting the babies whom I had "known" inside of me to the babies placed in my arms after the c-section. I felt very detatched from my body, and just couldn't believe that these were the same babies who had been inside of me. This did make it harder for me to bond with them, although I think it was also just hard for me to bond with two babies at once. It took a few months before I really felt like they were MY babies and that I was just as much their mother as I would have been had I pushed them out vaginally. For me, I think the disconnect came more from being so drugged during the birth than from the actual act of them being cut out of me, but I'm not sure. I *still* feel (3+ years later) like my body is waiting to go into labor and give birth (luckily, I'm pregnant again, and hope that my body will finally have its chance). I did not have any ppd or breastfeeding issues, but I definitely had some bonding issues that I blame on the c-section.










Lex


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## mamabeth (Jul 7, 2003)

I've had 2 c/s. With my dd, I was induced at 42 weeks with very high bp, the induction didn't work, and she was born after 48 hours of pit labor. I felt disconnected from her (we also had bf problems) for the better part of a year, and I think the disconnect is sadly normal.

With ds, I really wanted a VBAC. Tried everything to go into labor and was a lot healthier, but didn't go into labor and at 43 weeks (yes, you read that right) I had a "planned" c/s. It was MUCH better, thanks to onthefence







and her awesome birth plan for c/s, and a smaller and more bf friendly hospital. But it was still a c/s and I am still dealing with my body's seeming inability to go into labor by a reasonable date.

VBA2C is not out of the question if I have a third, but I'm not going to make myself crazy with the positioning, lots of $$ on a chiropractor, castor oil, etc.

This may be a different thread, but did y'all know that Brooke Shields had a c/s with her first baby and then had horrible ppd? It was unplanned and after 24 hours of labor, not sure if medicated or not. She also described the "disconnect" she felt with her baby.







her 2nd (planned c/s) seemed better.


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## coloradoalice (Oct 12, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *YankeeResolute*
Warning; slightly graphic. I had an emergency c-section last month and after a long, intensely painful induced labor. I'm still in shock from what happened and also physically tapped out from this birth and the first weeks of newborn hell.

There was every reason to expect a smooth delivery after a largely uneventful pregnancy but my water broke and the contractions weren't strong enough after 7 hours. I was induced twice with that cervical ripener (name escapes me), but couldn't get an epidural for the incredibly horrible labor (passing out from pain, screaming) because I wasn't dialated enough. About 4-5 hours went by until they gave me an IV narcotic and an epidural a little bit later. Then I pushed for 3 more hours but no progress. So the epidural was switched off because I couldn't really tell where I was pushing. Back to massive pain. The baby was stuck. I swelled up twice as much as someone who's just had a vaginal birth. The doctor on duty finally said enough and I had a c-section. It was the easy part of my day. The baby was all right except for a big lump on her head, which is slowly going away.

Thing is, I never had a birth plan because I knew anything could happen. I wanted an epidural anyway if the pain got bad. I wasn't even adverse to a c-section if events warranted. But this was too much to ask of any person. It was supposed to be a happy event, not 20 hours of total pain, fear, drug-induced confusion and fatigue. I can't stop thinking about it and can't make any sense of it either. I'm pretty much shut-in right now with no family support (live away from hometown & I'm not close to any of my in-laws) and my husband is clueless about these things and doesn't want to talk about it. So that's how it is and I'm glad to vent online. Thanks for listening.

I'm sorry you had such a tramatic birth. Giving birth is not easy no matter what, I think it is definiately one of the hardest things on earth!! It is definiately complicated when you have to go through a surgery and then all the terrible feelings of how your body has failed you. Post-Partum Depression and also Post-tramatic stress are very common and it sounds like you may at least have a little of each of these. Go easy on yourself, and keep talking. We are here to listen.


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## Karah R (Aug 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *egoldber*
I talked to my OB about doing a few things "outside the box" at my planned C-section in November.

1) Leaving one hand unstrapped
2) Having baby on my chest immediately after delivery
3) Having 2 support people in the OR so that I was not "alone" for the stitching up part

My OB was fine with it, but said that her influence was somewhat limited since much of that is governed by hospital policy.

Anyone have any experience getting these types of requests accommodated at hospitals? Who did you talk to in order to make these things happen?

I had my arms unstrapped for my c-section with Carter-that was a HUGE thing for me. He was also brought over to me immediately, I held him the whole time I was being stitched up, and a huge part of my birth plan was a lowered drape AND mirror so I could see my son enter the world if I wasn't going to be able to push him out. I know so many people that think that is somehow "icky"-but I am so, so glad that I watched him entering the world. Made a huge difference for me with how I experienced the section. It wasn't a big deal to make any of this happen-I made a birth plan, discussed it with the OB and she said no problem, we'll make it happen. Our hospital relative to others in the country is very good when it comes to honoring birth wishes, and so was the OB so there was no battle or excuse from anyone as to why I couldn't do certain things.

I also breastfed pretty much as soon as I was stitched up-right when I got into the recovery area before I was even in my room. That was a huge thing for me too-so I made my wishes known and it happened without problems.

BTW, Beth/egoldber--I grew up in Northern Virginia and went to high school in Fairfax.







Just noticed that's where you live in your profile/sidebar info.


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## coloradoalice (Oct 12, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *egoldber*
I talked to my OB about doing a few things "outside the box" at my planned C-section in November.

1) Leaving one hand unstrapped
2) Having baby on my chest immediately after delivery
3) Having 2 support people in the OR so that I was not "alone" for the stitching up part

My OB was fine with it, but said that her influence was somewhat limited since much of that is governed by hospital policy.

Anyone have any experience getting these types of requests accommodated at hospitals? Who did you talk to in order to make these things happen?

You should call the hospital and speak to someone in administration and have them mail you something in writing that states their policies on these issues. Then you will have a clear idea of what you are facing. For me personally, I was able to have both hands free when Ian was born, I held him as soon as they bundled him up, and I had him with me in recovery to immediately breastfeed. They did take him for awhile while I was stitched up, but dh went with him. All they did was weigh him and measure him. He was back really fast. He never left my arms the rest of our visit!!


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## mamabeth (Jul 7, 2003)

Just to answer your question about who to talk to...I talked to the OB who was going to do the surgery the day before with my dh. We detailed our requests and the only thing that he wasn't sure about was having a shorter drape so I could see. We also gave the nurses a birth plan the morning of so they did stuff like save the placenta (technically illegal, but some of them will do it for you!) and hand me the baby almost immediately.

It was really good to meet with the OB beforehand...I highly recommend if if you are in a situation where you are planning one. We only had a day's notice but it was totally worth it especially since we didn't know him since I had seen the mw all the way through.


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## SugarAndSun (Feb 6, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *egoldber*
I talked to my OB about doing a few things "outside the box" at my planned C-section in November.

1) Leaving one hand unstrapped
2) Having baby on my chest immediately after delivery
3) Having 2 support people in the OR so that I was not "alone" for the stitching up part

My OB was fine with it, but said that her influence was somewhat limited since much of that is governed by hospital policy.

Anyone have any experience getting these types of requests accommodated at hospitals? Who did you talk to in order to make these things happen?

My MW was there for my c/s and was awesome. Hands were not tied, took pics for us, got baby in my arms right away and nursing (while being stitched), got dr to speed up release of baby (I was home 48 hours after my c/s), told me everything that was going on and kept the whole procedure very positive.

We aren't planning to have more,but if I do I would still use a MW even though I have to have ac/s (I have a large window on my uterus which makes labor dangerous).


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## egoldber (Nov 18, 2002)

Thanks all. I'm not concerned about having the baby with me in recovery, thats actually policy at this hospital. And the baby will be with DH the entire time. There's no "mandatory" nursery time, newborn procedures are normally delayed several hours and done in the room, CS babies are encouraged to room in, etc. My main concern is having the baby on my chest at delivery and having someone with me while the stitching continues.

With my first CS (which was at this hospital, my second CS was at a different hospital), the stitching took almost 30 minutes after the baby was "done" and DH and the baby were sort of wandering around waiting for me to get to recovery. So I was in there by myself. I'd like to avoid it if at all possible.

Of course all this might be moot if we end up having to have a very early delivery and NICU time, which is entirely possible.


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## Mamatoto2 (Sep 2, 2002)

It's nice to see this thread. I was wondering if there would be a place for me to discuss births at MDC now that I am (and will forecver be) a C/S Mama.

My first birth was a midwife-assisted drug-free waterbirth in a hospital-based birth center (free-standing birth centers are illegal in my state). It was an extremely fast labor/delivery followed by a PP hemorrhage and a second PP hemorrhage 2 days later. Had I not received 2 blood transfusions in between the first and second hemorrhage (and a third during surgery after the second hem) I would have died. It was traumatic and my recovery was long.

I was looking forward to my second birth as an opportunity for a healing natural birth experience without all of the drama from my first birth. I was excited to know what it was like to be healthy following a birth. Another Mw assisted water-birth was planned with a few adjustments in place to intervene quickly in the case of a hem.

Unfortunately DD#2 was transverse breech and determined to stay that way. I did MANY sessions of chiropractic adjustments (Webster), accupuncture, homeopathic stuff, and spent hours upside down on an inversion table my Dad bought me to aid in the effort. I tried ice packs on my tummy top/heat packs on the bottom, an electric toothbrush near my pelvis, talking/musc at my pelvis, visualization, prayer, giving the baby "permission" to turn, and had scheduled therapy sessions with a "Birthing from Within" mentor and an external version attempt with an OB. BUT 11 days before I was due my water broke in the middle of the night. We called 911 and I was en route to the hospital in an ambulance for an emergency C/S. Fortunately, I knew that this HAD to be the plan if I went into labor and baby was still transverse, so it was kind-of a planned C/S in my head, but I was still scared. I had also posted a thread here asking for advice from BTDT C/S moms so I felt somewhat prepared for what to expect....At the hospital I requested an incision that would allow for future VBACs, but the OB explained that with a spine-up transverse breech, she wouldn't have the room to safely turn/birth baby with such an incision.

It's been difficult for me to accept that I will never have a normal vaginal birth. I had one very traumatic vaginal delivery, an emergency C/S and all my future births will be C/S. That said, I am grateful for the ability to gestate healthy babies, and the technology to birth them safely despite my wonky personal physical experiences (200 years ago I would have been dead twice over). I have found the healing process from the C/S WAYYYYY easier than my recovery after my vaginal birth with complications (although I don't like this tummy pouch I have now, and have been told is mine forever as a reminder of my abdominal surgery).

So that's my story. Thanks for the place to share it.


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## Karah R (Aug 21, 2005)

Okay, so I've heard Rescue Remedy mentioned several times in various cesarean threads....can someone clue me in?







What it is, what it's for, dosage, etc?

Thanks!


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## Kathi13 (Jun 6, 2006)

I developed PreE some where around 25 wks - was not diagnosed until 28 wk appt (even with 2 calls to Dr and 1 visit to hospital ER







: ). At my 28 wk appt my BP was very high and I had protein in my urine. My OB sent me to the hospital for observation. A few hours latter they transfered me to St. Louis (~100 miles away) to Maternal/Fetal Specialists. I lasted 3 days in the hospital while they thought I was leveling out and might be able to last a few more weeks - unfortunately my 24 hr urine sample came back very bad so I had a c/s to deliver my little 2lb girl. They had to do a verticle (classical) incision to get her out. I got to see her very briefly after they stiched me up and were wheeling me out of the OR. DH stayed with her all the way to the NICU (hospital adjacent to where I gave birth) while I was taken back to recovery. Because of the Magnisium (prevents strokes) drip I could not get out of bed for 24 hours. I finally got to see my DD the day after she was born late in the afternoon. Spent 11 wks in the NICU, Luckly she is now a healthy 2 yr old.

Like others here I felt disconected (I'm sure the incubator, monitors etc. didn't help). Didn't get to hold her until she was about 10 days old (probably didn't help either!) I also had major feelings of guilt - what I had done wrong, if only's etc.

This time around I have to have a c/s (classical incision) - around 36/37 wks *WHEN* I make it that far!!

Like *egoldber* I want to ask about keeping at least one arm free, being able to lower the curtain or get a mirror for delivery and keeping the baby with us while they sew me up (as long as everything is ok with him).


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## dogmama (May 24, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *egoldber*
I talked to my OB about doing a few things "outside the box" at my planned C-section in November.

1) Leaving one hand unstrapped
2) Having baby on my chest immediately after delivery
3) Having 2 support people in the OR so that I was not "alone" for the stitching up part

My OB was fine with it, but said that her influence was somewhat limited since much of that is governed by hospital policy.

Anyone have any experience getting these types of requests accommodated at hospitals? Who did you talk to in order to make these things happen?

I very clearly told the anesthesiologist that I have issues with being strapped down and would freak out if they did it. No argument at all, they left my hands free.


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## New Mexico Beach (Mar 13, 2006)

Ds1 - water broke, pitocin, epi, in bed, hours of pushing, c-section. Baby to NICU for 12 hours w/out seeing him (that is what was so upsetting, not the c/s). Quick recovery.

Ds2 - I opted for a scheduled c/s even though my OB gave the option to vbac. I was scared and uneducated. Very smooth surgery, another quick recovery.

Ds3 - Wanted a va2c, but no doc would do it. One homebirth mw would take me, but we could not afford her. So I had a planned c/s. Smooth surgery (after shopping for hospitals to get what I wanted) and hospital stay, but much harder recovery than the first two.

I am done.

IMO, if you are going the planned c/s route the doc makes little difference (as far as personality goes), but the hospital makes a huge difference. I found 2 hospitals, less than 2 miles apart with completely different policies and philosophies.


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## egoldber (Nov 18, 2002)

Quote:

IMO, if you are going the planned c/s route the doc makes little difference (as far as personality goes), but the hospital makes a huge difference. I found 2 hospitals, less than 2 miles apart with completely different policies and philosophies.
Well, that's true to some degree. But I have no choice of hospitals since DH and I are anticipating complications and want to deliver at the hospital with the best NICU in our area (and is in fact one of the top NICUs in the country). I have an OB that's supportive and I think will help me negotiate with the hospital. And also, in my past experience, an OB's written orders in your chart make a great deal of difference in being able to override hospital policy in post-partum care.

Unfortunately, most surgical policy is mandated by the anesthesiology policy. I am hoping to meet ahead of time with the anesthesiologist who will be doing my surgery. Its also been suggested to me by a contact that because of my past situation (my second DD died in the NICU at this hospital) that the patient advocate at the hospital may be able to help me get some concessions in planning my C-section there.


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## warrior mama (Feb 9, 2006)

egoldber - i am so sorry about baby leah.
i thought i'd just let you know that hospitals very often bend rules and after your experience with leah they may well accomodate your requests. i used to work l&d and we'd jump through hoops with mom's who'd had such experiences.
best of luck


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## coloradoalice (Oct 12, 2005)

OK, my turn for a question.









Do any of you who have had multiple c-sections still hold out for a VBAC? I think the reason I was able to get pregnant again so quickly and have Ian was that I truly believed that I was going to have a VBAC. That was the thing that inspired my ability to hang on during the pregnancy. I really really believed I could do it.

But then I didn't.

Now, I really want more kids, two more actually. But I just don't want two more surgeries. My OB told me after Ian to just schedule one with any further pregnancies because that is how my body does it. And believe me, she is a great OB with an incredible VBAC success rate(over 80%). For whatever reason she knew I was not one of the canidates that was going to succeed. She basically told me that at one of my last appointments before the birth. Now after two I don't believe my body can do it. I don't think it's probably worth trying. But if I felt there was hope I think I would go for it again, because I am an eternal optimist.









How do/did you come to terms with having/scheduling cesearean births? It's just such a hard concept for me to grasp. I am such a huge natural birth supporter. I feel like a fraud though, since obviously I haven't been able to have one.







:

We are talking about permenant birth control because this seems like such a huge obstacle to overcome. Have any of you given up having more kids because of the c-section prospect? Sometimes I feel selfish for wanting more than the two happy healthy kids we've got.

Anyone?


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Alice, I wish I knew what to say. I don't know how to come to terms with it. When I started ttc ds2, I thought I'd come to terms with the "fact" that I'd have to have another section. Then I got pregnant...and the nightmares started...and the insomnia. My pregnancy was one long, drawn-out struggle for a VBA2C. I ended up getting cut again, and I still want my fourth baby, and now I'm intending to have a HBA3C, if and when (dh doesn't want another). But, I've put a lot of time and energy into trying to decide how I want things, and have reached the conclusion that I'd rather have another baby and another c-section, than no baby and no c-section. It wasn't easy to get here, and I'm still going to homebirth. But, if someone I trusted told me tomorrow that it would have to be a section, I'd still want to ttc another one. I expect that my next pregnancy (if and when) will also be plagued with nightmares, though.

I don't know if any of that is what you're looking for or not...


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Oh - I also want to add that I will _never_ have another scheduled section without labour. I did that with dd and have regretted it more than any other decision in my life.


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## coloradoalice (Oct 12, 2005)

Thanks Stormbride.

That is the only conclusion I have been able to come do on the whole idea. If I did get pregnant again, and even if I decide it will be another c-section, I would absolutely insist that my doctor wait until labor began on it's own. That is a non-negociable. I just can't justify scheduling a day and a time that is convenient. I think there are multiple benefits to allowing labor to start on it's own reguardless to how the birth ends.


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## mamabeth (Jul 7, 2003)

I haven't given up on wanting more kids...I know dh and I will probably have at least one more, but the prospect of another c/s does give me lots of second thoughts about another baby.

I scheduled this last baby at 43 weeks when he went transverse and posterior, and I think if I had waited it out, my intuition tells me that my babies wouldn't have come out for another few weeks.

My thought now is that if I have another baby, I will see if I go into labor before 43 weeks. If so, I may UC or have a mw on call, but if not, I will probably schedule at 43 weeks again. I realize there are people who would wait longer, but I'm just not one of them.

I will say that if I get pg again I will of course take good care of myself, but I am not going to obsess about VBACs like this time around. If it happens, I would be ecstatic, but I want to be prepared for another c/s.

hope that makes sense.


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## egoldber (Nov 18, 2002)

Quote:

Do any of you who have had multiple c-sections still hold out for a VBAC? I think the reason I was able to get pregnant again so quickly and have Ian was that I truly believed that I was going to have a VBAC. That was the thing that inspired my ability to hang on during the pregnancy. I really really believed I could do it.
I am facing my third C-section this fall. It will be early and scheduled. I tried very very hard for a VBAC last time and it didn't happen. This time I am surrendered to the C-section, and honestly I have found it very freeing in many ways. Thinking about VBAC and how to VBAC and having the right provider for VBAC really consumed my pregnancy last time. This time, knowing I am just going to have the C-section has actually been less stressful for me.

I realize that my situation is different from most of you because there is not a care provider out there that would encourage me to have a vaginal birth in my circumstances. But I think it really bears thinking about how much stress and time and effort you want put into a VBAC, especially a VBA2C. It shouldn't be that way, but the fact is that it will be hard to find a supportive provider. Even a lot of home and lay midwives are shying away from VBA2Cs, at least this is what I am gathering from reading here and other places, and many women are having to go UC or have a ERCS. Only you can answer the question of how hard you want to fight for that vaginal birth and how much it is worth to you.

I think its also important to realize that just because you have a C-section does not mean that you have to give up everything that is important to you about your birth experience. In other words, don't be controlled, try to set up the experience you want. You can look for an OB/hospital combo that will help you have a positive C-section experience. You can meet ahead of time with the anesthesiologist to find out about anesthesia options and how to find something that gives you more of the experience that you want. You can find out about hospital policies and work to have the experience you want in terms of nursing, rooming in and newborn care that is in line with what you want. You can have an advocate there with you who can help you to deal with these things after the cesarean.

Anyway, I guess what I'm saying is that having a planned C-section doesn't have to be a totally negative experience. You can mentally frame it so that you can derive as much positive experience from it as you can, even while mourning the loss of a vaginal birth.


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## coloradoalice (Oct 12, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *egoldber*
I am facing my third C-section this fall. It will be early and scheduled. I tried very very hard for a VBAC last time and it didn't happen. This time I am surrendered to the C-section, and honestly I have found it very freeing in many ways. Thinking about VBAC and how to VBAC and having the right provider for VBAC really consumed my pregnancy last time. This time, knowing I am just going to have the C-section has actually been less stressful for me.

I realize that my situation is different from most of you because there is not a care provider out there that would encourage me to have a vaginal birth in my circumstances. But I think it really bears thinking about how much stress and time and effort you want put into a VBAC, especially a VBA2C. It shouldn't be that way, but the fact is that it will be hard to find a supportive provider. Even a lot of home and lay midwives are shying away from VBA2Cs, at least this is what I am gathering from reading here and other places, and many women are having to go UC or have a ERCS. Only you can answer the question of how hard you want to fight for that vaginal birth and how much it is worth to you.

I think its also important to realize that just because you have a C-section does not mean that you have to give up everything that is important to you about your birth experience. In other words, don't be controlled, try to set up the experience you want. You can look for an OB/hospital combo that will help you have a positive C-section experience. You can meet ahead of time with the anesthesiologist to find out about anesthesia options and how to find something that gives you more of the experience that you want. You can find out about hospital policies and work to have the experience you want in terms of nursing, rooming in and newborn care that is in line with what you want. You can have an advocate there with you who can help you to deal with these things after the cesarean.

Anyway, I guess what I'm saying is that having a planned C-section doesn't have to be a totally negative experience. You can mentally frame it so that you can derive as much positive experience from it as you can, even while mourning the loss of a vaginal birth.









Yes, you verbalized a lot of what has been going on in my head!

I was totally obsessed with a VBAC last time. I changed providers 4 times (we interviewed a 5th, but that was 3 weeks from my due date and we didn't have the money to go for a homebirth at the last second). I didn't trust anyone. I constantly felt like they were evil and out to get me and make me fail. I was consumed. My poor James, he was so supportive but I know he thought I was a little crazy. And all the worry, all the crazy ended up being for nothing. In someways I wish I had just decided from the start to have a c-section, it would have eliminated soooooooo much worry and stress. But, I am glad I tried a VBAC, because I got to experience labor which I didn't do with my dd, and I felt much more in control because I was aware of the prospect of a c-section, something I absolutely refused to consider with my first pregnancy. I was in control, and it actually was a very good experience. I just hate the recovery. But, I have read stories here on MDC where it sounds like recovery from a vaginal birth has been just as bad or even worse than my recovery from c-sections. And of course it's impossible to know what the outcome would be in the end.

I guess it's hard to know if you should have more kids or not no matter how you birth them!!


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## mamabeth (Jul 7, 2003)

yes, egoldber, you hit it on the head. a planned c/s does not have to be a neg. experience and that's why this was and is a helpful thread to me, because MDC is a place where the vast majority of us spend time thinking about our birth experiences vs. just going for the epi. and spending time thinking about them, even if it's going to be a c (or especially so) is very valuable!

while grieving a vag. birth, I do feel like I was very informed and knew all my options, and so I don't grieve a loss of control like in my first birth too.

edited to add, before I get flamed, that I have had two epidurals and think it is good they exist, but that I think they are vastly overused.


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## GalateaDunkel (Jul 22, 2005)

.


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *egoldber*
I talked to my OB about doing a few things "outside the box" at my planned C-section in November.

1) Leaving one hand unstrapped
2) Having baby on my chest immediately after delivery
3) Having 2 support people in the OR so that I was not "alone" for the stitching up part

My OB was fine with it, but said that her influence was somewhat limited since much of that is governed by hospital policy.

Anyone have any experience getting these types of requests accommodated at hospitals? Who did you talk to in order to make these things happen?

Me Kim, the Cesarean Goddess coming out of lurkdom---

Doctors can demand what they want. They can change and bend rules. Don't let them tell you otherwise. You can have two people in the OR. In fact most hospitals around the country allow this. One can sit by your head and another off to the side.
You can have both hands free. This is strictly your doctors call and has nothing to do with hospital policy. Don't let them tell you otherwise.

The only thing I can see being "delayed" is the baby on the chest immediately after delivery. Because you are a csection, they need to check the baby out first. Csection babies also lose their temp very quickly after birth, and thus need to be wrapped in the cold OR. (remember bathing baby will cause their temp to drop further). After baby is seen and wrapped there should not be a problem with them being up on your chest. (request a pillow to prop up your shoulders, neck and head)

When you get to recovery, you can do skin to skin contact. Request some heated blankets to lay on top of you and the baby.

Be sure to also make these requests known to your Anest., your nurse, your baby nurse, and your pediatrician too the day you go in.


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamabeth*
This may be a different thread, but did y'all know that Brooke Shields had a c/s with her first baby and then had horrible ppd? It was unplanned and after 24 hours of labor, not sure if medicated or not. She also described the "disconnect" she felt with her baby.







her 2nd (planned c/s) seemed better.

One of the reasons she said she had such horrible PPD was not from the csection itself but the being unprepared for it. She just thought, assumed, believed like many of us that we would have babies naturally and vaginally. You feel disconnect when you are unaware and don't have the knowledge to facilitate bonding with a surgical birth. I could totally relate to this, because this is what happened to me the first go around. However the last two times, were completely different. This is one reason why she planned on having a repeat csection. She wanted to be prepared and not have another emergent or surprise situation. She wanted some control.


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## coloradoalice (Oct 12, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *OnTheFence*
One of the reasons she said she had such horrible PPD was not from the csection itself but the being unprepared for it. She just thought, assumed, believed like many of us that we would have babies naturally and vaginally. You feel disconnect when you are unaware and don't have the knowledge to facilitate bonding with a surgical birth. I could totally relate to this, because this is what happened to me the first go around. However the last two times, were completely different. This is one reason why she planned on having a repeat csection. She wanted to be prepared and not have another emergent or surprise situation. She wanted some control.

I hear that!!! My PPD was raging the first time, and it all related to my absolute refusal to even consider having a c-section. I was plagued with self-doubt and failure. My second c-section was much better because I had a plan, and when it was apparent the VBAC wasn't happening it was much much easier to accept it and actually embrace it. No PPD this time (so far!).


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## mamabeth (Jul 7, 2003)

yes, me too. That's why I was wondering about Ms. Shields because once it became apparent that a c/s was our best option, we planned the heck out of it to make it a *birth* as much as we could control it, which was suprisingly a lot.

sounds like the same happened for her. I guess I was wondering about it because she didn't mention her birth very much in talking about her PPD, when it sounds to me like it had quite an impact.

or perhaps I just read those trashy mags too much???







:


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## conniellama (Nov 13, 2005)

hi - found this thread and decided to throw in my story... so, this is a bit long&#8230; i had hoped to have my baby at my local free standing birth center - i felt comfortable with the midwives' style, liked the center and the fact that the midwives had privileges at the hospital.

starting at 28 weeks, my baby was breech. i tell you, i tried everything to turn her. at 36 weeks, still breech, but had a successful version. i was so excited!

my water broke a week after my due date. contractions started about 5 hours later and another 3 hours they were every 3 minutes. then, they backed off to every 7 minutes all night. we went to the midwife the next am who said i was 4-5cm, -1 engaged, all vitals were good, go home, and to call when the contractions got closer together. she briefly mentioned the baby was LOP, but did not suggest doing anything about it.

so continued to labor all day, then all night again. the middle of the night was the worst - after 28+ hours of contractions every 7 minutes, i was feeling exhausted. my dh, who was really a great support throughout, tried to stay up with me, but at some point he fell asleep. i felt quite alone at this point, but so darn stubborn - i wanted to be strong and at least wait until morning to call the midwives. we called the midwives at 6am, who said to get in a hot bath and see what that did. it felt awesome, but it slowed the contractions down. off to the birth center again - i was 5cm, fully effaced, still -1 or 0, and all vitals were good, but contractions now at least 15 minutes apart. the midwives gave me castor oil and told me to go home, drink lots of fluids and try take a nap.

well, 45 min later i booted the castor oil and couldn't nap. we went back into the birth center. we tried blue-black cohosh, electric breast pump, and banding my belly. the midwife said if nothing was happening by about 3pm then we'd got to the hospital for pitocin because it had been almost 48 hours since my water broke. this little voice in the back of my head said - you're going to have a c/s in the end.

about 5pm we're settled in the hospital, pitocin starting to drip. it didn't take long for active labor to begin. i pretty quickly went through active labor and transition. i remember thinking - it's all been worth it - i'm going to do it! my midwife said she though i was fully dialated and thought i sounded pushy, so try. i didn't feel pushy, but tried. the baby's heartrate went down, so stopped pushing. she checked me again for a long time and thought she felt a lip way up there. she had an ob check too, and it took the ob a long time to also agreed there was a lip up there. my midwife said i really needed to sleep to have energy to push later. having an epidural would do that, and allow the contractions to work away at that lip while i slept.

i fell alseep for a few hours after the epidural - but i'm a horrible napper and just wanted to have the baby so really spent much of the night watching the heart monitor and enjoying the massages the midwife gave me. the midwife checked me throughout the night and about 6am said do you feel like pushing? so for 3 hours, i pushed in many different positions - but i couldn't feel how i was supposed to push. the midwife said i was still only +1, +2 maybe when i was pushed. i was still determined, but was also very exhausted after barely sleeping for 3 nights. the midwife talked to me about the next steps. she wanted to get some second opinion from the ob, but he was probably going to suggest a cs. and that's what happened. the surgery was quick, with my midwife and dh by my side and my beautiful dd was born 65 hours after my water broke. while, i was amazed at my daughter, it took a long time to feel the bonding i had hoped for. and for the first few months, i was totally obsessed with the labor - analyzing it from every angle.

so, while i was so pleased with my midwife at the hospital and actually, the hospital experience was much better than i thought, i have all of these questions still in my head - no need to answer unless you have a thought...
* after knowing the baby was LOP, should the midwives have suggested i do anything while in labor?
* should i have just called the midwives instead of doing it all on my own?
* should the midwife have suggested an epidural? is there something else that would have helped me sleep, but that would have allowed me to feel more so i push better?
* dd was originally breech - hey, did she just want to be born by cs?
* or am i overanalyzing. that i, and everyone else, gave it their best shot. i mean, i did do 48 hours, including transition, without an epidural. nothing was really done "wrong" per say.

i guess, more than anything, just needed to let it out. most of my friends have had fairly normal natural births - i don't think they understand how emotional this has been. as the months go by, i feel more at peace with it, but occasionally i'll hear about someone's perfect homebirth, etc and feel really jealous and start questioning things again.

anyway, thanks for listening!


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## sunshinegal (May 20, 2004)

Let me just say one thing and that is Thank you to all who post here.

Cesarean is sometimes treated as such a dirty word in the birthing community and let me say I can understand why when so many people I know don't even want to acknowledge that there is a birth experience to be had. But I believe that there is a whole other side where birth meets the medical community. Where a necesary cesarean can be a great birth experience. Well, that is what I believe now as I prepare for my fourth birth but first cesarean.

It will be planned, which from my research seems to be a somewhat easier road to travel.

The reason for my cesarean is sort of long to explain. After my 2nd birth (a homebirth) I had a post partum hemorrhage 10 days after the birth that landed me in the hospital for a 3 hour d&C , a uterine artery emolization, 5 blood transfusions and many lonely days without my baby never to be able to nurse him again. During this time, my rectum fell apart so nine months later I had to have reconstructive surgery (due to recurrent UTI's and plain ol' yucky undies if you get my drift







) Luckily the surgery worked (although she said to plan on a cesarean if I gave birth again).

Fast forward 6 years and I found myself pregnant and completely refusing a cesarean. My ob was fine with it along with all the midwives at the practice, but definitely a hospital birth. So, great birth at the hospital (as good as they can be) and I end up with 1 hour surgery directly after the birth (epidural, antibiotics although I did see my baby for 2 minutes ) to reconstruct the "shredded meat" to quote my midwife. The tears went up to my cervix so going into labor will not be a good thing for my body.

So by the grace of god and only one menstrual cycle I am pregnant again. I have been extremely angry and bitter these past few months thinking about the cesarean. I don't want to be associated with someone that has elective cesarean to avoid the pain of birth. Also, like one of the PP said, having to put my faith in incompetant medical "professionals", all of the interventions, and the actual fact that I am going to be cut wide open. Never mind completely missing out on actual contractions.

But as I have read your stories and as I have looked at my own births, I realize that all of this is really out of my control to begin with. I can make all the right choices, have all the good and right intentions, and still end up in the hospital, suffering for not getting what I wanted; What I feel I deserved, for myself and my baby.

I am coming to accept that natural doesn't always mean without doctors. I mean, without doctors and surgery, I wouldn't be here right now and neither would my 20 month old or the baby growing inside me.

I really believe that birth starts at the moment of conception. The relationship I have with that little spirit inside is absolutely magical. Who else will share all these experiences with me, all the food I eat, all the emotions I have, but this little person. How she gets into my arms to nurse in 4 months, shouldn't be the be all and end all of who I am. I will do my best and that is all I can offer.

Thanks for reading.

Stacey


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## egoldber (Nov 18, 2002)

Conniellama, welcome!

Sunshinegal,


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## minkajane (Jun 5, 2005)

Hi all! I had my son by C-section almost 18 months ago. I still find myself thinking about it and wishing I'd refused. He was breech and vaginal birth was not even discussed. I brought it up and it was immediately refused. No discussion, no talk, just NO. I had been planning a UC, but I wasn't comfortable with a breech UC for my first.

I went into labor the night before he was born and didn't realize it. I just thought it was another backache, which I'd been having over the last two weeks and I realize now were contractions that I felt in my back because of his position. The next day at work my water broke. It was just a bit, so I had a coworker take me to the hospital on base to check. It was confirmed and I was at 5 cm. My coworker then took me to the downtown hospital while I called DH. By this point, I had pretty much accepted that these doctors wouldn't let me have a vaginal breech birth. DH met me at the hospital.

I was taken into the OR and given a spinal. I had really bad shakes (nerves I guess) until the spinal kicked in. Then DH came in. There was no talk of strapping my arms down, but I was refused a mirror or a lowered screen.

DS's butt was nicked when they opened me up (it's ok, no scar or anything) and he had to be bagged to breathe. I didn't know that till afterwards, so I didn't freak out. As they got him wrapped up, DH looked over, smirked at me, and said "I can see the baby, can YOU see the baby?" I sighed and said "No, DH, I can't see the baby." After they wrapped him, they gave him right to DH. He showed him to me for a minute, then they had to go to the nursery because DS was grunting, where I later found they began giving him formula supplements immediately without my or DH's permission, though they did give it in a cup, so no nipple confusion.

I was in recovery by myself a lot because DH was with DS, then ran to the store to pick up a camcorder. I spent the next several hours (I don't know how long, I was really out of it) throwing up from the morphine and calling everyone I could think of.

DS and I stayed three days instead of two because of the grunting. After we went home, I recovered well and we worked out BFing (he didn't have a drop of formula after we left the hospital!). You can hardly see my scar now.

We're TTC #2 and I'm planning a UBAC. With the last pregnancy, I feel like I somehow knew I wouldn't get my UC. I know in my heart that I will get the birth I want with this one, but I also know to be prepared for anything.

I try to look on the bright side of things. At least now I can tell my VBAC clients that I know how they feel, that I've been there too.


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## mamabeth (Jul 7, 2003)

welcome mamas and thank you for telling your stories.

Stacey--you are so right that a c/s CAN be a good birth. I'm sorry you've had so much trauma and I hope that this new little pea is a joy.


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## coloradoalice (Oct 12, 2005)

Hey out there!


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## grumpyshoegirl (Mar 2, 2006)

So, I hit the six-month mark. Baby is awesome, but my family is soooooo not understanding of what I'm going through. If I have to hear the "but you've got a healthy baby" comment one more time I'll scream!

Also, my once-numb abdominal area is starting to regain feeling-- and it's not good! It hurts! I suppose it doesn't help that my daughter's feet reach about that area when we sleep at night and if she kicks it's right above my scar









Okay, I'm done whining. Here is about the only place I can vent. I'm on the ICAN mailing list but that seems to be mainly for VBAC support for already-pregnant women.


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## coloradoalice (Oct 12, 2005)

I hear ya Amy, most people really dont' understand.

I just hit the 6 month mark too. My tummy still feels really weird, lying on it is still very uncomfortable. And I have like no muscle tone. I don't know how to get it back!! 2 pregnancies and 2 c-sections in 20 months really did a number on my abs. I think I am going to have to do some serious work to have anything resembling tummy control. And I hate working out. Really. Hate. It.


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## grumpyshoegirl (Mar 2, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *coloradoalice*
I hear ya Amy, most people really dont' understand.

I just hit the 6 month mark too. My tummy still feels really weird, lying on it is still very uncomfortable. And I have like no muscle tone. I don't know how to get it back!! 2 pregnancies and 2 c-sections in 20 months really did a number on my abs. I think I am going to have to do some serious work to have anything resembling tummy control. And I hate working out. Really. Hate. It.

Have you tried pilates? I looooooooove it. I do the moves really slowly and focus on breathing, and it really relaxes me. Also, my sister (who watches dd when I'm at work) taught her "baby pilates," which basically consists of lying next to the baby and getting her to imitate you when you kick your feet, so I lie her down next to me when I'm doing it.

Start slowly if you do decide you're interested, and make sure you start out with the *modified* moves-- it really does a number on your abs. I recommend _Pilates for Dummies_ or, if you can take it with a HUGE grain of salt and ignore the Hollywood vibe, the Mari Winsor series.


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## coloradoalice (Oct 12, 2005)

No, I haven't tried any pilates, although I have heard good things. Like I said I hate working out!







: I need to learn to love it though, my body realy needs it!!

OK, on another board I just read that someone called their c-section a "babyectomy"!! I thought that was really cute! Never heard it called that before. I guess it's pretty appropriate though, the removing of a baby!!


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

I've been privately thinking of mine as a babyectomy for years, and recently shared the term with the ladies on ICAN. I have to confess that I don't mean anything cute by it, though. I just feel that "cesarean" tends to emotionally obscure the fact that it's surgery.


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## coloradoalice (Oct 12, 2005)

Oh, I don't mean to make light of having a c-section by writing that . It just sounds like a more friendly way of giving birth. I just hate saying c-section or ceserean section.

I just realized that maybe it sounds too light, I don't know. It just struck me when I first read it, but now maybe it makes things sound silly.


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## ApplePieBaby (Jun 15, 2006)

I had a csection last week... after 6 vaginal births...
They took my staples out on Friday, and put the steri strips on... said they would come off by themselves in about a week.
However, now that I'm home, I realized they gave me no recovery info- like when can I take a bath/swim again?
How long will I bleed? I've already noticed it's way lighter, almost gone already- should that concern me or is it because of the csection?
I'd really appreciate any & all recovery info & advice


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## coloradoalice (Oct 12, 2005)

Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh I tried to reply to this last night and then the board went down and my post disappeared! Oh I hate that!!

Anyway, I just wanted to say congratulations on the arrival of your precious little girl. I read some of your posts about her, sounds like she is doing really well. I will keep you guys in my prayers, what a long road ahead!!

As far as your recovery, I don't think it matters when you bathe or swim. I had doctors tell me two totally different things after my c-sections, and the second time they said I could right away, so I did, and I was just fine!!

I would just relax as much as possible and I think the most important thing is to not do lifting for at least 6 weeks. I ended up infecting my incision last time and I think it was cause I did too much too fast, I was hauling my toddler around, carrying the baby bucket, spending all day at a local event!! Just 10 pp, not smart!! Otherwise just basic recovery stuff, make sure you are eating and drinking healthy, getting sleep, blah, blah, blah. It's gotta to be so hard trying to do that kind of relaxing with a baby in the NICU and pumping for her, but just do your best!!

Keep us updated on your little one, I am really interested to know how she is doing. My dd was in the NICU for 6 days and it was so draining. I know there is a NICU support thread somewhere, that might be helpful!

Take care!

ETA- I forgot about the bleeding. Mine was the same as other friends that had vaginal births both times, but it did ebb and flow, and I actually thought it was gone around 5 weeks and then it came back a few days later for a few more days. So, give it a few more days, it may get heavier again.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Alice...no worries. I do think it's kind of cute in a way. I just meant something different by it when I coined the term (if I really was the source...no telling, I'm sure!).

ApplePieBaby: Recoveries are all different. I switched from showers to baths as soon as my steri-strips were off with my second. (I don't remember what I did with my first - it was a long time ago). My incision was infected last time, and I didn't have a bath or go swimming until the infection cleared up, because the incision wasn't closed. I don't know for sure if I had to avoid bathing, but I felt it was better to play it safe with an open wound.

I've found with all three sections that the bleeding has come and gone. With my last one, I thought it was finally done at about five or six weeks, but I was getting traces until about eight weeks. That's the longest it's lasted for me. Interestingly, this is also the longest it's taken for my period to come back...11 months pp, and no sign of a period yet. With dd, the bleeding was completely stopped after about three weeks - but I got my period back in only four months.


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## ApplePieBaby (Jun 15, 2006)

Thanks so much for the info


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## meisterfrau (Sep 24, 2005)

I thought I'd share my story. I had a pretty uncomplicated pregnancy with my DD. I had done a lot of reading to prepare myself for birth and for the baby once she got here, and I felt pretty confident. I also felt ok with having an epi if it hurt too much, etc. I had pretty mainstream ideas, all told.

At 35 weeks my BP was elevated. The OB sent me home without really saying much about it. At my 36 week, my BP was the same, and they admitted me to the hospital. There followed 36 hours of pitocin. He wanted to give me cytotec (sp?) as well, but having heard about it causing uterine ruptures, I refused it. Well, I know most people talk about the hell of a pitocin induced labor, so I was ready for pain, but there was nothing! Hardly any contractions that could be picked up by the monitor, and I felt nothing at all. I wanted to feel it, because I so wanted the induction to work. The worst was the Magnesium Sulfate that they had me on to prevent seizures...it made me vomit until I was dry heaving and I had to have a catheter. Meanwhile, I was swelling up like a balloon.

The doctor came in that evening and saw my failure to progress. I was starving (even with the puking) and so uncomfortable on my left side I wanted to scream. (Apparently there was a cushion or something missing on the bed. I had no idea. I thought this bar was SUPPOSED to be digging into my hip all that time.) He said we should shut down the mag sulfate and the pitocin and try again the next day. No way! I refused this and went home. The nurses were beside themselves trying to make me stay. One actually cried, saying she was afraid something terrible would happen if I left. I didn't really get it, I guess because they had sent me home after my 35 week appt lke nothing was wrong, but suddenly now it was a life or death situation? I had the distinct impression the Dr. just didn't want to deal with this all on a weekend. I still think that was the case and that he was going to keep me hanging around puking on that poison until Monday, so even though I appreciated the nurses' concern, I wasn't having it. We stayed at home that weekend, with me laying on my side the whole time in my much more comfortable bed.

I went back on Monday. I'd had time to go online and read about pre-e, enough to scare the crap out of me. To try to shorten this long, long tale, they gave me a c-section. I was in no way prepared for the sheer panic I felt during the surgery. The drape seemed so close to my face, all I could feel was claustrophobia. I couldn't see anything but the anesthesiologist (who was so nice to me, btw, just like everyone was at that hospital) and the BP monitor. Every time it took my pressure, it went higher and higher. The last time I looked at it, I only saw the top number: 240. The anesthesiologist saw me looking at it and stood to block my view saying "Seeing that cannot do anything but make things worse for you." He was right, because I was scared to death I was going to have a stroke right there and never get to meet my baby. I didn't realize I'd be able to feel the doctor cutting me...no pain, but so much pulling that it felt like it should hurt. I just felt so out of control. Then the panic when it did start to hurt, and a lot, when they stitched me up. I just have never been so scared in all my life. My sweet DD was taken away before I even got to see her, but at the time, all I could think about was that it hurt to be stitched up, and that it really probably shouldn't.

I had to stay on the Mag Sulfate for the rest of the night, and couldn't start to bf until 24 hours after surgery. It took 5 days for my milk to come in, and the nurses had me under a lot of pressure to supplement (DD was 5 lbs and perfectly fine, but I was worried about her being so small). I was so tired and sick and confused that I let them. I wasn't able to breastfeed her normally for a long, long time. I think I also had PPD, but I never got help for it. On the plus side, my OB is an excellent surgeon. My recovery was so fast, I couldn't believe it.

Now she is 18 months old. We want to ttc soon again, and am so afraid of a repeat of this experience. My BP has been high off and on since I had DD. I don't really know what my chances are to carry a baby to term if I'm already having BP issues to start with. I am afraid no one will let me VBAC. I'm afraid that even knowing what to expect, I will panic again in the OR if I have to have a cs with #2. I really just don't know what to do.

Also on the positive, though, it was this scary, high intervention experience that made me question my whole mainstream mindset. I started reading here, and other places, and I changed my mind about a lot of things, and for the better. At least something good came of it.


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

bump for someone with questions


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## Kwgrlup (Nov 12, 2005)

My name is Janet I have two boys. Korbyn (6) was my free standing birth center birth. He had a shoulder dystotia (sp), but after MW manipulation, he was born healthy and vaginally. Koltyn (20 months) was my planned homebirth. He turned transverse (12 days over due), my midwife turned him back head down. I went into labor for two days. Made it to 10 cm at home, when the little booger turned bottom first. We had disscussed this situation with my mid-wife, and had chosen to get a C-section if there were any other complication. So, Koltyn was born healthy and safe via c-section. Hubby carried him out of the OR. I had him in recovery with me, and I nursed him with in 40 minutes of his birth. It was really an awesome experince!! I have to say I really enjoyed both of my birth expereinces. I am looking foward to adding a VBAC to my expereinces with my next baby...







. I am looking foward to getting to know all of you.


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## Kathi13 (Jun 6, 2006)

It was suggested to post this here instead of on a regular thread.....I had posted my story on pg 1 of this thread - guess I forgot about it after that







. I've read the posts and there were some great ideas but I was still wondering:

*Questions to ask before c/s?
For those mom's out there who have educated themselves about c/s either post or pre having one - what are some good questions to ask my OB pre c/s?*

I've already asked about a mirror or dropping the curtain - while not totally enthused he did say to remind him closer to the delivery time.
I really would also like to be able to hold baby right away or at least have DH help me hold him - what is the best way to word this in a birthing plan.

Unfortunately I will be having my surgery in a hosptial that is 100+ miles from home - so our Ped (who I really like) won't be the one checking out DS after he is born - in fact from what the lady on our tour said we won't be even meeting him/her until we are in the OR room







- so what would be the best way to approach some of our requests with him/her???


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## MommytoTwo (Jun 20, 2004)

oh boy ... my blood pressure is going up just reading this thread...

My story ... DS was born by c/s after a 33 hour botched induction. Bad experience - cold people at the birth, talking about other things, didnt show me the baby over the drape, just a lot of BS. Just another day in the OR for them, you know? DS taken to the NICU, didnt see him till the next day, etc etc etc. Dont need to rehash that.

2 years later I had an unplanned c/s with my daughter - who was supposed to be my VBAC baby. I did it all - switched providers, checked out 4 different hsopitals, doula, birth ball, chiro, etc etc etc. At 42 weeks and some minor health issues and a hurricane bearing down, I had a repeat c/s...that birth was way better though. Lowered the drape, I got her right away, great BFing etc. Like so many here, I fought my way through that pregnancy. All drs were evil, the hospitals were evil, they were all out to cut me. I would cry every time I went to a dr appt. I would call my doula afterwards and rant. I still freak out going to the gyn every year.

Anyway now we are considering #3... and I want a vbac as bad as ever..but I just dont know if I can go through another pregnancy in such a state of agitation ... yet I dont know if there is a way to vba2c without it.... (though they were in 2 different hosps with diff drs so I could just leave out #2) I just dont know.. I just feel sort of like a loser that my babies are taken out of me, like I dont really have all the things that make me a mother... when other people talk about their births the c/s moms all look at each other and laugh because they are so lucky that they dont have to labor (in their minds) and I just want to throw up ... I am so *grateful* that I had a long labr with DS, even though it didnt result in a vaginal birth...

So you see I sort of feel like if I can just let it go completely then maybe I can enjoy a pregnancy ... but I dont know if I can ...


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## meisterfrau (Sep 24, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommytoTwo*
So you see I sort of feel like if I can just let it go completely then maybe I can enjoy a pregnancy ... but I dont know if I can ...









: Even though everything in me wants to try for the VBAC, I think I would save myself the entire pregnancy worrying about it (heck, longer than that. I'm already worried about it and not even pregnant) if I could just resign myself to the repeat c-section and spend my energy preparing for it mentally so that hopefully it isn't so traumatic the second time around. I know how I am, though. I'll have changed my mind about this again by tomorrow probably.


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## coloradoalice (Oct 12, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kathi13*
I've already asked about a mirror or dropping the curtain - while not totally enthused he did say to remind him closer to the delivery time.
I really would also like to be able to hold baby right away or at least have DH help me hold him - what is the best way to word this in a birthing plan.

Unfortunately I will be having my surgery in a hosptial that is 100+ miles from home - so our Ped (who I really like) won't be the one checking out DS after he is born - in fact from what the lady on our tour said we won't be even meeting him/her until we are in the OR room







- so what would be the best way to approach some of our requests with him/her???


I think the best way to word things in a birth plan is very simple and very straightforward. Also, a tip I was given for last time, don't use words like "Please" or "I would like" because it gives the impression that it's somewhat optional. Use stronger words like "I want" or "I will". So for the instance you mentioned of holding the baby right away just state exactly that. "I want the baby given to my husband immediately, he will help me hold the baby" (Do you mean while still gooey, because that is rarely possible in a c-section due to the higher chance of respriatory issues, but I have heard it possible)That said I think the best way to approach any medical personnel you have never met is to just hand them your birth plan and tell them you need them to read it and sign it. Then if they have any questions they will ask, otherwise it is simply agreed that you will get what you asked for.









Also, just a tip, but another thing they seem to do with c-sections is want to check them out in the nursery. I personally was ok with it because my husband stayed with the baby, but I made it clear that I wanted to start nursing immediately in the recovery room. So I declined all medical interventions (vaccinations, eye goop, vitamin K, etc...) and I said I did not want them to bathe the baby. So all they could do in the nursery was weigh him, wrap him up, and bring him back. It worked out perfectly, just as I rolled into the recovery room after being stitched up they rolled his little bassinet in for our first nursing. He never left my presence the entire hospital stay after that. It was great. And I gave him his first bath, later the next evening.







It was awesome because my dd was in the NICU and I didn't get to do anything with her on my own for a week.

Good luck!!


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## Kwgrlup (Nov 12, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ApplePieBaby*
I had a csection last week... after 6 vaginal births...
They took my staples out on Friday, and put the steri strips on... said they would come off by themselves in about a week.
However, now that I'm home, I realized they gave me no recovery info- like when can I take a bath/swim again?
How long will I bleed? I've already noticed it's way lighter, almost gone already- should that concern me or is it because of the csection?
I'd really appreciate any & all recovery info & advice









Jayme..Congrats on the birth of Elora. We posted on the Military spouse boards for a few years together. I am glad to see that everything is going well for you. Keep me updated on Elora and how she is doing. I hope that you are healing well from your C-section. Sometimes I feel like military hospitals literally kick you out...lol.


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## coloradoalice (Oct 12, 2005)

I have always had questions about my basic anatomy and why in the world my babies never dropped, never came even close to getting down there after 24 hours of active labor or more. I knew I had a tailbone issue because I had an x-ray in my early 20's at a chiropractor and he pointed it out. When I was pregnant with Gracie I was concerned it might be a problem, but my midwives looked at me like I was silly when I mentioned it. I didn't have time to look into it between pregnancies even though I wanted to. Then after Ian was born I made up my mind that we were not considering any more children until I got confirmation that anatomically I am capeable of giving birth vaginally. I finally started with a new chiropractor last week, and had x-rays yesterday.

And, from all apperances, my tail bone was most likely a huge reason why I ended up with c-sections. The bone structure in my pelvis is definiately off, and the bottom of my tailbone points straight into my pelvis. It is not connected to the rest of my spine like it should be, but the doctor said it is basically "floating" out there connected by a ligament or two. This guy is very non-medical, very non-invasive, very into trusting your body. And he told me that if I got pregnant again without having surgery to repair my problem he would predict with confidence I would end up with another c-section if I attempted another VBAC.

So, I feel relief and frustration. Relief that there actually was a problem, a real reason to have a c-section. And frustration that the chiropractor that noticed this so long ago didn't give more thought to how it might affect me when I had children. I could have had surgery to fix it and then I may have had vaginal births.

I guess it's all water under the bridge, but I finally feel some resolution. And it confirmed for us that we will not be having any more children.


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## Mama Rana (Aug 18, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *coloradoalice*
I have always had questions about my basic anatomy and why in the world my babies never dropped, never came even close to getting down there after 24 hours of active labor or more. I knew I had a tailbone issue because I had an x-ray in my early 20's at a chiropractor and he pointed it out. When I was pregnant with Gracie I was concerned it might be a problem, but my midwives looked at me like I was silly when I mentioned it. I didn't have time to look into it between pregnancies even though I wanted to. Then after Ian was born I made up my mind that we were not considering any more children until I got confirmation that anatomically I am capeable of giving birth vaginally. I finally started with a new chiropractor last week, and had x-rays yesterday.

And, from all apperances, my tail bone was most likely a huge reason why I ended up with c-sections. The bone structure in my pelvis is definiately off, and the bottom of my tailbone points straight into my pelvis. It is not connected to the rest of my spine like it should be, but the doctor said it is basically "floating" out there connected by a ligament or two. This guy is very non-medical, very non-invasive, very into trusting your body. And he told me that if I got pregnant again without having surgery to repair my problem he would predict with confidence I would end up with another c-section if I attempted another VBAC.

So, I feel relief and frustration. Relief that there actually was a problem, a real reason to have a c-section. And frustration that the chiropractor that noticed this so long ago didn't give more thought to how it might affect me when I had children. I could have had surgery to fix it and then I may have had vaginal births.

I guess it's all water under the bridge, but I finally feel some resolution. And it confirmed for us that we will not be having any more children.

((Alice)) That's gotta be tough. I know I always wonder if there was anything I could have done differently to prevent my c/s, and to find out that there was a correctable problem....









My story: My waters started dripping very early Wednesday morning, went to the birth center for a NST on Wednesday; they noticed that there was a bit of meconium staining. Was sent home with orders not to "insert anything" in my vagina, and to walk. Early Thursday morning some mild contractions started, can't remember all the details here, but at some point I was told to take castor oil. Real contractions finally started early Friday morning. I tried to rest, but finally got up around 5 or 5 and took a shower figuring I wouldn't get one for a few days (and it ended up being longer than I thought it would be). We walked a bit, puttered a bit, read some more birth stories on-line, and finally went in to the birth center at 11am or so. Labor wasn't too bad, until the back labor started. Gah, it was painful. I kept telling DH to push harder on my tailbone. I tried the tub, but since DH couldn't reach my tailbone to push against it, that wasn't comfy (in hindsight, maybe I should have tried hands-and-knees in the tub. I never really felt the urge to push, but my body pushed anyway. It was like having dry heaves, but in the other direction. I pushed for 4 hours. I had a bit of a lip when I started, but the MW held it out of the way or something to get it to go away. But when they finally told me I needed to transfer, the doctor said I was only 9cm (apparently my cervix had swollen under the constant pressure of my son's head). They gave me an epidural to stop me from pushing, and told me to rest (this was about midnight), but by morning I was still only 9, so they did the c/s. I barely saw DS as they took him out of the OR (they were worried that he might have aspirated meconium), and I was so groggy in the recovery room that I couldn't form complete sentences. I don' really remember when I first met DS. My DH couldn't handle the OR so it was my mom in there with me, and after they saw me in the recovery room, they all went home to nap, shower, and get real food leaving me alone in the hospital. Of course since I couln't care for the baby (couldn't get out of bed to pick him up, the morphine made me so drousy, etc.) DS spent a lot of time in the nursery and I know they gave him formula. And of course I had breastfeeding issues.

So now he's two, and I cry practically everytime I think about it. And DH doesn't understand, nor does he "get" how disappointed I am about his behavior through the whole thing. I'd like to have another but I'm petrified that it would happen again. I don't trust doctors (or even midwives) to help me prevent a repeat c/s, but I know DH would not "allow" me an HVAC. I sometimes daydream that I go into labor and just don't tell anyone until the baby is crowning.

I don't really have a question at this point, other than How do you get past it?

Thanks, mamas for being here.


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## coloradoalice (Oct 12, 2005)

Mama Rana- I don't know if you ever get over it. I think I have just come to accept it. My first birth was very similar to yours in that I don't remember seeing Gracie for the first time and she was in the NICU so she was away from me for 6 whole days before we were discharged. It was terrible. I think I will always feel guilt, especially now knowing that I went through all of that for nothing. How much easier it would have been to just schedule the c-sections. My second section was much better, but I had the epidural and like 20 minutes later Ian was out, and 20 minutes after that we were in recovery and I was nursing him. I had made a plan in case a section happened again and it made things much much better. I actually felt like I had given birth, and I didn't question if it was actually my baby and I don't have PPD this time. I think that being prepared and open-minded to what might happen made things much easier the second time.


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## mamabeth (Jul 7, 2003)

I don't know if you ever get past it....maybe going through it is a better phrase. When I was pregnant with ds (#2) I journed a LOT about my birth experience with dd (failed induction at 42 weeks with high BP, c/s) and cried a lot too. I wouldn't say I got over it, but I really let myself feel everything (such as that I felt cheated out of a birth, was mad at myself, the midwife and dh, etc) and that was so helpful.

So when we had to make some decisions about ds's birth, and we chose a repeat c/s at 43 weeks with high bp and baby transverse, I knew that I had done everything I felt comfortable with doing to VBAC and so was okay with the c/s. Sad, but not traumatized. Hope that makes sense.


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## dlm194 (Mar 23, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride*
I've been privately thinking of mine as a babyectomy for years, and recently shared the term with the ladies on ICAN. I have to confess that I don't mean anything cute by it, though. I just feel that "cesarean" tends to emotionally obscure the fact that it's surgery.

Oh! That was you!?







I recently posted the hysterotomy article. I like babyetomy though.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *coloradoalice*
And, from all apperances, my tail bone was most likely a huge reason why I ended up with c-sections. The bone structure in my pelvis is definiately off, and the bottom of my tailbone points straight into my pelvis.

I started with a new chiro after my dd was born. The guy was great - his son was a homebirth in FL (with a midwife who was "illegal" ), non-vaxing, natural-healthy oriented. He said that my pelvis was pushed forward and my tailbone curved in which probably explained why my dd never engaged. He was trying to fix my pelvis so I was really hopeful for a vbac. Unfortunately, he recently passed away and I feel so depressed. I research and encourage vbac but part of me doesn't really think it will ever happen for me.

I will definitely have a back up plan for a more satisfying c-s. Last time it was unexpected (after an uneventful pg). I was so just sad that I had no part in bringing her into the world. I want to see her come out, I wanted to see her all goopy, and I want her in recovery with me-not like last time!


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dlm194*
Oh! That was you!?







I recently posted the hysterotomy article. I like babyetomy though.

Thanks for posting that. It was one of those things that I couldn't decide whether it qualified as funny or tragic. I _loved_ the bit about "keeping obstetrics at the forefront of medical science"...almost spit coffee all over my keyboard! I do think hysterotomy sounds more medical - maybe not quite as reassuring to some people as "cesarean section" or "cesarean delivery".


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## may05mommy (Jul 20, 2006)

My DS is a C-section baby. I had a placental abruption--I spotted during my entire pregnancy, from 5 weeks onward, and was put on bed rest at 29 weeks. I took Lamaze classes anyway in the hopes that I could have a natural delivery. My doctors planned to induce at 39 weeks because of my issues, but at 38 weeks, my water broke and I started bleeding--a lot. My doctors started Pitocin, then Cervadil, then Pitocin, for 36 hours, and I never dilated. I never even effaced all the way. Then at the 36th hour, I had another bleeding episode. My doctor at that point said that it was best to go to a C-section while DS was still thriving. I had the spinal at 5:30 and he was born at 6:02 p.m. I breastfed him for the first time at 8:30. I had no breastfeeding issues, very few recovery problems, no PPD, and I was just thankful at that point that he came into the world safe and sound. My only regret is not getting to hold him immediately after he was born (although thankfully, DH did)--for that reason, I'm going to try for a VBAC with the next child.


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## littleteapot (Sep 18, 2003)

My son was born by "emergency" c-section on November 1st. It was a horribly traumatic experience. I came in fully dilated, wondering if I was in labour and it took almost two hours to get anyone to check me, once they did they found out he was crowning frank breech and the OB shoved him back up toward my womb and held him up there while they ran me upstairs for the surgery. At first I was yelling at them that I was going to deliver vaginally and they kept saying "no", but after a while they just ignored me. I learned later that this is their policy, and it wouldn't have mattered if they'd literally dragged me up while I was screaming "I don't consent" - they do it anyway.
Thing is, I didn't get a healthy baby out of it all - he died of a birth defect before I even woke up. He died in my husband's arms, without tubes, and I'm so grateful for that... but I'm so angry and feel very violated about the section and the way I was treated after.
I wrote out my birth story in three parts here:
http://babyslime.livejournal.com/281749.html
http://babyslime.livejournal.com/282008.html
http://babyslime.livejournal.com/282126.html In case anyone's interested.

I went to my first ICAN meeting just a little bit ago, and it was an incredibly healing experience. I felt like I finally had a safe and good place to tell my story, and his story, and not feel judged. Everyone loves to shoot back about how grateful and how wonderful their c/s experiences were and how everyone else needs to just "Get over it" and be like them - but I, and all the other women there at that meeting, felt raped by their sections.
I'm currently pregnant again, due in October - I'm having a UBAC.


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## turtlewomyn (Jun 5, 2005)

Littleteapot, your story is so beautiful and so sad.


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## Erikajo (Apr 30, 2006)

Wow, what a great supportive thread!

I had my DS by c-section in March, 2003 after 34 hours of labor and 2 hours of pushing. He was posterior and ended up weighing 9 lb 13 oz. Thankfully, it wasn't an emergency c-section and DS was born screaming and perfectly healthy. I, however, started hemorraging and needed 3 blood transfusions. They didn't even show him to me over the sheet after he was born - I had to wait 15 minutes while they weighed him, cleaned him up, etc. Then they showed him to me very quickly, but then took him off to the nursery and DH went with him. DS was perfectly fine and had absolutely no problems. I was bleeding very badly at the time, so maybe that was part of it.
Everything after that is a blur because they drugged me up with morphine, etc. Long story short, I don't even remember holding him for the first time and had a very hard time bonding with him due to the circumstances. I ended up with PPD and it's been a long struggle to come to terms with my delivery. I can't say I am completely at peace with it, but I have worked through much of my disappointment.

I am pregnant again and due in November. I will be having a planned c-section and I'm at peace with that. I am however, a bit nervous about things repeating - such as me not seeing my baby for a while, etc. I have put together a detailed birth plan and thankfully - after doing some research - it appears that the hospital I will be delivering at is very pro-keep-mom-and-baby-together-at-all-times. I'm sure things will be much better.

One question though - I just got off the phone talking to a childbirth educator at the hospital who filled me in on hospital policies etc. I feel very comfortable with everything but one thing bothered me. She said they do NOT allow mom to hold the baby while they are stitching her back up. Mom isn't allowed to hold the baby until she is in recovery. I asked her why and she said it was because mom's arms will have the blood pressure cuff on, etc. and it wouldn't be very safe. But I've heard of many mothers who have held their babies then and it makes a huge difference in bonding with their baby. Women who have their babies vaginally are allowed to hold their babies on their chests right away after birth! Why is my hospital denying c-section moms this? I completely understand that if something is wrong with the baby or I'm not doing so well that it may not happen. But it really bothers me to be told its not an option. I didn't argue with the woman because she can't really do anything, but what can I do?

I plan on talking to my doctor at my next prenatal visit about this and my other birth plan wishes. Any ideas? Can they seriously keep me from holding my baby? It is MY baby and I should be allowed to hold her if I want to! That just really bothers me.







:

On the plus side, I asked her how they would respond if I declined the eye ointment and Vitamin K vaccines and she said I would just be asked to sign a waiver and that's all. Also they will not give the Hep B (which we are also declining) without the parents signing a consent form. So that's a relief.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Erikajo*
upOne question though - I just got off the phone talking to a childbirth educator at the hospital who filled me in on hospital policies etc. I feel very comfortable with everything but one thing bothered me. She said they do NOT allow mom to hold the baby while they are stitching her back up. Mom isn't allowed to hold the baby until she is in recovery. I asked her why and she said it was because mom's arms will have the blood pressure cuff on, etc. and it wouldn't be very safe. But I've heard of many mothers who have held their babies then and it makes a huge difference in bonding with their baby. Women who have their babies vaginally are allowed to hold their babies on their chests right away after birth! Why is my hospital denying c-section moms this?

The blood pressure cuff thing is weird, as my bp cuff was kept on in recovery, as well. With ds2, I was nursing in recovery (first time - 3rd section). But, I couldn't have held my baby while I was being stitched up. My arms were at my sides, and I was all hooked up to IVs and such.

Is it possible to ask for a modification? I couldn't actually _hold_ dd or ds2 while being stitched up. (The question didn't arise with ds1, as I was unconscious.) But, my dh held the baby with me. That way, while I wasn't actually holding my baby, in the sense of supporting baby's weight, I _was_ able to touch her/him and feel them pressed up against me. It helped...it helped quite a lot.

Even if you can't...I didn't find that the short period of time separated from ds2 was _too_ terrible. DH took him to the recovery room in the bassinet, while the nurse wheeled me down there. As soon as she had me set up with my monitors, she got dh to pass ds2 to me, and got him latched. He'd only been out for...15 minutes, maybe? I'm not exactly sure, as the sheer terror kind of warps my time sense, but it wasn't a very long time. (With dd, it was almost two hours before I could hold and nurse her, and it was about 12-14 hours with ds1.)


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## Mamatoto2 (Sep 2, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Erikajo*
I, however, started hemorraging and needed 3 blood transfusions. had a very hard time bonding with him due to the circumstances.

I hemorrhaged twice after my first DD,s birth (one right afrer delivery. 2nd 2 days later) and I also had 3 blood transfusions. Even though it was a drug-free waterbirth and my second was a c-sect. due to being transverse breech, the first birth was MUCH harder to recover from (physically and emotionally). I think there's a lot of emotional baggage to wade through when there's an unplanned trauma.

Even though a c-sect was far from how I ever wanted to birth, we sort of knew it was an inevitability for DD#2 (because the stinker would NOT turn for love or money) so when my water broke and she was still breech, I was at peace with knowing she would be birthed surgically. Mind you, I wasn't happy about it, but I was prepared for it and understood the necessity of it. That made it far less emotionally devastating for me.

I wish you a birth you can experience with peace of mind, heart, body, and spirit.


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## Erikajo (Apr 30, 2006)

The woman from the hospital just called me back and said she was wrong about them lowering the drape. They do not allow that - something about the sterile environment. They will however set up a mirror so I can see that way.
I am really disappointed - I had really wanted them to lower the drape so I could see my baby born. A mirror will help, but it's just not the same. I understand about the sterile environment, but I am not asking to touch anything - just to watch. And they can put the drape right back up afterwards. I see so many women whose doctors & hospitals do allow this. Is there anything I can do?

Stormbride, you're right - it really isn't that long of a period and my DH is allowed to hold the baby, so she will be right near me. I'm not going to worry about it. Either way it will be much better than my prior birth!

Mamatoto2 - I'm sorry you had to go through that. Thanks for your support.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Erikajo*
Stormbride, you're right - it really isn't that long of a period and my DH is allowed to hold the baby, so she will be right near me. I'm not going to worry about it. Either way it will be much better than my prior birth!

That's my feeling, too. It still sucked to be separated from ds2 at _all_, but those few minutes were nothing like the previous experiences. And, I did get to pseudo-hold him in OR...just couldn't take his weight. Even being able to touch dd's face was _something_.

I don't think it's a coincidence that breastfeeding went more smoothly with ds2 than with either of my others.


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## mamabeth (Jul 7, 2003)

would a video help? I swore that I would videotape my next birth, whatever kind I had, and wouldn't you know that the anesthesiologist didn't press the button? he thought he was taping but no.







my point is you can still watch your dc be born, just maybe a few days later.

My dh was insistent that he go with ds at all times and he even did his first bath, was there for the measurements, and was the one who brought him to me in recovery where I nursed. I think ds and I were separated for all of 20 minutes, which was pretty great compared to how it went with dd.


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## lexbeach (Mar 6, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamabeth*
would a video help? I swore that I would videotape my next birth, whatever kind I had, and wouldn't you know that the anesthesiologist didn't press the button? he thought he was taping but no.







my point is you can still watch your dc be born, just maybe a few days later.

I really wanted to videotape my c-section, but it wasn't allowed (I think for liability reasons, in case we caught them doing something on the tape or something like that). They did ask me if *they* could video the c-section to use as a teaching tool (but that I wouldn't be allowed to see). Um. . . NO! (It would have been fine with me if I'd been allowed to have a copy too). They also only allowed me to have two people in the OR, but then asked if they could have medical students in to watch. . . Again, NO WAY! Grrrr. . .

Lex


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## mamabeth (Jul 7, 2003)

Well, actually ours didn't allow video either. But we had video on our still digital camera and so they looked the other way.







not like it mattered because he didn't get it, but nice to know we COULD have


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## Kathi13 (Jun 6, 2006)

Our hosptial does not allow video taping during c/s - but when I talked to my OB about either droping curtain or putting up mirrors he said an alternate could be to bring the video camera and not record - but position it so I can see the screen as DH shoots the birth. While we might do this to "sneak" in a video of the birth - I told the OB that I would prefer not to do that as it would be way to easy to miss on that small screen.

Lex - Wow - they actually refused you a chance to video tape the c/s and then asked if they could be wouldn't let you have a copy?!! That is some nerve!!


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## may05mommy (Jul 20, 2006)

I couldn't have held DS in the OR even if that had let me--the epidural made me shake so badly, they couldn't keep a heart monitor on me. I was in recovery for a few minutes before I stopped shaking. (Another reason I want to do this naturally next time.)

However, DH held DS right next to me, and I was able to touch his head at least. Then DH went into the nursery with him--they cleaned him off, etc., then brought him to me while I was in the recovery room. I got to hold him then, even though the cuff was still on and my IVs were in place.


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## channelofpeace (Jul 14, 2005)

I was shaking really badly from the spinal and hormones (apparently this sometimes happens in natural childbirth too) and the moment that i got to hold her in my arms in recovery, the shaking stopped (well, in my arms, later it moved to my legs). Weird.

I have had two sections, one for breech and the second for low AFI at term. This time i am planning a HBA2C.


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## coloradoalice (Oct 12, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *may05mommy*
I couldn't have held DS in the OR even if that had let me--the epidural made me shake so badly, they couldn't keep a heart monitor on me. I was in recovery for a few minutes before I stopped shaking. (Another reason I want to do this naturally next time.)

However, DH held DS right next to me, and I was able to touch his head at least. Then DH went into the nursery with him--they cleaned him off, etc., then brought him to me while I was in the recovery room. I got to hold him then, even though the cuff was still on and my IVs were in place.

Same for me, my arms were really numb the for my second section, it was kind of weird. I wouldn't have been able to support him, but it was just absolutely wonderful to have my husband hold him right up against my face where I could smell his newness and feel his little chubby cheeks!







: It was pure bliss after my first section where my daughter was whisked off to the NICU and I didn't see her for 12 hours.


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

Hi everyone. I used to post to these threads, until after my last c-section I thought I was "done".

First section was for shoulder presentation breech.

Second section was planned as a VBAC, but- ended up another section as his head was so big, and I have a platapoid pelvis which is severe, not allowing me to pass the babies through.

Third was a planned c-section- I had intended to go into labor first, but ended up deciding to schedule as I liked *my* OB and really disliked the other one in the practice.

My OB told me I had a small "rupture" and that I should never have kids again. We took her word for it. A couple of months ago, I went into a new GYN for a Pap and he said what I really had was a window, not nearly such a big deal, and that he felt I was fine to have another







. So- he sent me to a high-risk specialist to see if she would agree, and she did. She said I am not higher risk than any other person with 3 sections.

So- I am having a sonohysterogram on Tuesday to check the general state of my uterus, and then I will be "cleared".

If I am so blessed again, I will be planning another section. My last one was the worst by far, so I will be relying on lots of prayer for a better surgery this time. (my second was my best, as I knew it could happen-hadn't considered it the first time).








to all of the mamas posting here, I am glad to be back







.


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## channelofpeace (Jul 14, 2005)

How exciting, Patty! I hope that everything goes well and will be praying for a new little one to bless your family!


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

Thank you Erin







.


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## erikandgregsmom (Dec 13, 2002)

add my story as well?

I also had 2 c/section births.

I conceived for the first time unexpectedly (but happily) at the age of 41. I was petrified of birth, had only heard horror stories from my female relatives (from the age of "twilight sleep"), one cousin's wife ("natural" birth in 1971, swore she'd abort if she ever conceived again), and friends with typical hospital births (episiotomies, flat on their backs, etc). So sadly, I did not anticipate a "beautiful experience", at least at first. I never doubted my body's ability to have a vaginal birth, knew only a couple of people who had had c-sections and they for essentially good reasons (footling breech, water broken and no contractions). Although a section sounded to me like a good way out of the horrors of labor, it didn't seem likely things would go that way for me. I didn't think to "educate" myself.....didn't realize there would be a need....I had read "What to Expect When You're Expecting" (ugh), took the hospital's childbirth class, and just assumed, for better or for worse, that my body would get the baby out. After the class, I realized I'd concluded that I wanted to try drug-free labor, but I think I developed this idea more as a personal achievement than as being best for the baby and me.

Fast forward to 3/20/98. I awoke to contractions every 5-10 minutes apart in the middle of the night, was told to come to the hospital, and found to be 1 cm dilated. I was not told to go home, and in my ignorance, did not realize I should have. Labored all morning and into the afternoon, with close contractions and horrific back labor. Talking to a midwife that I befriended recently as well as my own research, I now realize I most likely had a classic posterior presentation. After 11 hours, I was at 2 cm. The OB (the only one in a practice of 4 that I hated - figures doesn't it?), decided to break my water. Again, I didn't know that that was not always advisable. After 3 more hours of excruciating pain and no real support (had only seen OB twice for about 5 minutes, L & D nurse in and out, and DH not the best coach), I gave in to Demerol, which zonked me out but did nothing for my labor. Again, my research revealed that breaking the water probably did nothing but commit the baby to the bad position. No one even mentioned "posterior" (until after the section), much less tell me what to do about it. After being stuck at 3 cm for 6 hours with contractions 2-3 minutes apart and in unrelenting pain, I agreed to the section. The surgery itself went without problems. Unfortunately, my son was born with his jaw slanted to one side (broken water left no cushion? who knows), was never able to latch on to breastfeed. My hospital was very b'feeding UNFRIENDLY, so I got lousy info about what to do about this or pumping, etc. Saw an LC when I got home but after 5 weeks of cup and finger feeding, pumping a minimal amount of milk and just being so devastated by this birth, I gave up and bottle fed.

I became pregnant again when my son was 14 months old, but miscarried at 8weeks. Tried for nearly a year to conceived again, and after finally giving up I became pregnant at the age of 44! I had educated myself more, read up on VBACs although unfortunately only in a book written by an MD. But I still didn't doubt my body's abiltiy to birth vaginally. I thought the previous posterior was a fluke unlikely to happen again and I also blamed the indifference and inertia of the previous doc.

I switched doctors to someone who at least initially seemed much more supportive, progressive, whatever. He agreed to support me for a VBAC. Normal healthy pregnancy, I was delighted. Brief scare with premature labor
at 32 weeks, I was hospitalized for 4 days and on bed rest for 2 weeks after,
but then I was OK. My water broke early one morning at 38-1/2 weeks, and
again contractions were 5-10 minutes apart. I was sure I was on the fast track to having my baby by sunrise. But not........and sadly, I participated in my own failure. I think unconsciously, I was terrified of losing the baby in delivery and at the age of 44 I was not guaranteed another pregnancy....those are the only things I can think of to defend myself. I walked and squatted until I began vomiting uncontrollably, then allowed myself to be talked into lying down. My labor lasted 21 hours. I did dilate further than in my first birth, but incredibly slowly (1-2 cm every 2-3 hours), again the pain was excruciating, no support.....I gave in to every
intervention known to woman. Finally at 9-1/2 cm, I pushed for 2 hours, til I was screaming with pain and exhaustion, only to be told the baby's head was "-3 station"....or as my OB put it, "in heaven". I agreed to another section. Although my second son did not have the jaw problem that my first had, he was bottlefed 3 times while I was knocked out to rest, never really took the breast. Same hospital, same b'feeding ineptitude, another heartbreak. Although this time I pumped and bottlefed for 13 months, and never had to go to formula.

I have struggled with this for years. I also had difficulty bonding, wonder if I even blamed my poor second child for my misery (didn't help that he was a fussy baby and I couldn't even b'feed to console him). Especially at my age, I know I was lucky to conceive at all and to have two normal healthy kids, but sadly this is why no one "gets" my distress over the births. Have blamed myself again and again.

Interestingly, I got my hospital records for the second birth, and according to the surgery report I was beginning to get a uterine tear, so maybe the section was a blessing in disguise. Wish I could believe it...

Tried to ttc one more time to at least get b'feeding right, but went into perimenopause, so it wasn't to be.

I can utterly empathize with anyone who mourns the loss of a dream birth. I still search for a balm for this wound myself. I live in NY State and next April there is an ICAN conference here that will most likely feature a woman named Jamie Stouffer who conducts workshops on working through situations like this. I hope to go and see if I can find my healing.....

May we all find our healings one way or another.........

Janet


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## mamabeth (Jul 7, 2003)

welcome Janet, and thanks for telling your story. I hope the ICAN conference is a blessing for you...just being on the list and hearing other women's stories helps so much for me too.

that's great Patty!


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## MommytoTwo (Jun 20, 2004)

Well ladies, tomorrow I meet with a hb midwife ... she knows that i have had 2 sections and didnt hang up on me, so wish me luck. Its either a hb or a ercs for me. I cant go through another 9 months of fighting again. (not pregnant yet - should be ovulating any day now!)

She'll take me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!


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