# My straightforward miso induced missed m/c



## Lizafava (Nov 28, 2004)

I've spent the last several days reading one terrible cytotec story after another on-line. I was actually pretty scared, and had my husband and partner freaked out as well. So, now that everything is over and was physically easy, I wanted to share my experience since I know these threads pop up in searches. 

We had a normal FHR and growth at 9 weeks and not at 10, so sometime that week the baby died. I confirmed it with an office and hospital u/s and again at my office a couple days later.... it just seemed important to check and check again. It is still scary to take the drug, and I think a tiny, irrational part of me will always wonder if the baby was really dead. 

Because of my work and wanting to see the fetus before it started to break down, I decided to do cytotec instead of wait. It was 10 weeks and 3 days. 

I took my first dose vaginally at 1230pm along with 800mg ibuprofen. Lost about half a cup of clots 4-5 hours later and had mild to moderate cramping all evening, like early, early labor. Bleeding was like a heavy-ish period. I took a vicodin before bed, but it wasn't really necessary. 

I took a 2nd dose, vaginally, in the morning. Bleeding had been light overnight. Nothing really changed throughout the day - bleeding was light, cramping was mild. I discussed with with my partner and OB and decided to try a smaller, sublingual dose at 330pm. Some people respond better to dosing that way, though there are more side effects. 

Within half an hour of 600mcg SL, I was feeling mild cytotec-induced chills and stronger cramping. I watched a movie with my 9yo, which is sad and ironic because that's what I did when I was in early labor with his brother 6 years ago. Cramping was stronger, but far apart and totally manageable. 

There wasn't much bleeding, so my husband and younger son went to the store for cookies and wine. I thought for sure it wasn;t going to work. This is the only decision I made during the process that I would change - unless you are SURE the cytotec is out of your system, do not stay home alone, even for a few minutes, even if nothing is going on. 

So, I felt a little gush and got up to pee and check my pad. I put a chux-pad under the toilet seat to catch any clots. I felt a sizable clot tumble out and some mild pressure. Thats it. I was not in any pain, and had not had any heavy bleeding. So I was totally shocked to look and see a perfect, 10 week old fetus on the pad, attached to its little placenta. So, that part was shocking and awful - I kindof panicked. I was alone in the house with my 9yo and it took my husband about 10 minutes to get home. Luckily, I was not bleeding heavily so I got my mom on the phone and waited for him to get there. My poor 9yo ran upstairs, so scared when he heard me crying. Ugh. 

After a bit we examined the baby and I was so surprised to see that it looked perfect. The (young, inexpereinced) OB resident told me that it was deformed - so deformed she couldn't measure its head. She told me that it was 8 or 9 weeks in size. It was not deformed - as far as I can tell, it is a perfectly formed 10 week old fetus with a lovely head, ears, arms and legs and fingers and toes. As soon as the ground warms up we will bury it. We wrapped it in a cloth from Mexico where we conceived and its in the fridge. 

Bleeding and cramping were minimal afterward. Its just been a few hours, so maybe there will be more pain or heavy bleeding. But I don't think so. It all came out, just like with a full term birth. Placenta, membrane, baby and cord. 

This is all very fresh, so I don't know what to say about the emotional aspects of it yet. But I really wanted to share that physically it *can* be straighforward. After all the stories I read online, I was basically convinced I would end up at the hospital for blood transfusions, morphine and a D&C. I know that is some people's experience, but this was mine. 

I am pretty sure I will end up feeling glad I did it this way instead of waiting, and certainly glad I avoided a D&C.


----------



## 1babysmom (May 22, 2006)

I am so sorry for your loss. Glad the process was uncomplicated for you, and that you feel at peace with it. I have never been able to see any of the babies I have miscarried, but I imagine that must bring a sort of healing that you don't get otherwise? Praying for you, mama.


----------



## Lizafava (Nov 28, 2004)

I don't think it was healing, but who knows. I was hoping there would be some obvious reason for its death, but there wasn't.


----------



## t2009 (Sep 1, 2009)

@Lizafava, I'm sorry, again, for your loss. But I am glad to read that it was not traumatic or drawn out, physically, at least. I hope your mental & spiritual healing is also swift & complete. On the other hand, I am sorry that seeing the fetus raised more questions than answers. I feel on this journey that often there simply are no answers. Hugs!


----------

