# My pregnant wife is very nervous



## jacknicholson (Aug 6, 2016)

Hello friends,

We are expecting our first baby very soon. As the time is passing by my wife is getting nervous day by day. She wants baby to be delivered normally, but her enthusiasm is getting down.

How can I motivate her? Also she is refusing to take me in the labor room as well.


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## Nazsmum (Aug 5, 2006)

Look into hiring a doula. 
Go to a LLL meeting.
Help her find women that have had natural labor. Holistic moms meeting maybe?

Have her join MDC. :love Let her talk to us. :wink:


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## 393401 (Aug 10, 2016)

Details?

Waning enthusiasm seems pretty normal to me, being pregnant, especially in the summertime is hard..and as the initial thrill of expecting wears off, the reality of being pregnant and going thru child birth becomes real..and frightening, especially for first timers. 

My recommendation is to talk with her..no, wait, listen to her...and be supportive and encouraging and emotionally available to her so she feels a partnership with you, even of she's the one who will be doing all the work there.

You have time, but you should use that time wisely to address her understandable anxiety (terror?), otherwise it will likely harden as she gets closer to her due date.


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## jacknicholson (Aug 6, 2016)

Hello friends,
Thank you for sharing your views. Please can you guys help sharing some views on it should we take risk of normal delivery, or just let it go with C-sec. What does your personal experience say?

Yes will definitely ask her to talk herein directly so that she gets motivated. Though we have found some videos on net which has good exercises for pregnant lady. We also came to know about breathing exercises, which would be very helpful for last days of pregnancy.


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## katelove (Apr 28, 2009)

For a healthy, low-risk woman with no specific issue to take into consideration, vaginal birth carries fewer risks than elective Caesar. However, this is really only a decision you and your wife can make after reviewing the research and having a conversation with your health care providers. 

How soon is "very soon"? When is your wife due? Also, how stressed is she about this? Some anxiety and nervousness is quite natural but if she is very stressed about it then maybe there are specific issues which she needs to address.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Claudia Chapman (Aug 9, 2012)

I'm not sure what you mean by "just let it go" with a c section.


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## applejuice (Oct 8, 2002)

Claudia Chapman said:


> I'm not sure what you mean by "just let it go" with a c section.


I agree. I do not understand what you mean by this statement.

Your wife should know that a caesarean can be a life saving, wonderful procedure in an emergency or problem delivery. But having a surgical delivery will pre-determine the outcome of future deliveries as well as problems with a bruised bladder, adhesions, scar tissue, life long back problems from incompetently done epidurals, delay of breastfeeding, infections, any future abdominal problem and prolonged recovery.

Future deliveries can be complicated by placenta previa and placenta accreta. Babies born this way often need to be suctioned and some hospitals send routinely them to the NICU for observation.

Natural childbirth is painful and gruesome, but as a mother myself who endured it more than once, it is worth it.

And some advice - get your records from the hospital. These are always an eye opener.

BTW, I loved Chinatown", Jake.


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## Xerxella (Feb 6, 2008)

Paul Clark said:


> Hello!
> 
> I understand the feeling. The only way for her not to feel nervous is make sure to let her feel that she will be being taken care of. This is a normal feeling for her. Let her understand that it is more risky if she's nervous because it result to stress.


So, if she's nervous tell her not to be nervous because the stress could hurt the baby?!?!? Do you know how ... Patronizingly paternalistic that sounds? Telling someone that stress is bad for them, doesn't help them relieve stress.


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## jacknicholson (Aug 6, 2016)

We have found a solution for it, I and my wife have joined the parenting classes with a midwife where they teach good exercises for labor time, explains handling pre and post natal pregnancy. I have discussed about me to attend the child's birth or not. She said let it depend on the mood of your wife at that moment, if she says yes then carry on and if its a no then don't go. 
Also I am checking out good articles related to it, though I have found some in babynology which had an article on Dad's in labor room.


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## Xerxella (Feb 6, 2008)

Your midwife sounds smart. I'm glad you've found something that works for you. 


Just because I'm curious, what country are you in? I thought most places have the dad in the delivery room, but I'm probably out of touch.


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## Ambrossimo (Aug 14, 2016)

It is a normal reaction as she has hormones' level changing all the time. Just take care of her and spend much time together enjoying your love, surprise her with some gifts and flowers, try to do so that she doesn't have free time to think of something negative.
Let her feel that you are with her and how important this child is for you too.


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