# dealing with miscarriage



## emmaline (Dec 16, 2001)

what a valuable and necessary topic this is..
I want to share a really useful suggestion for dealing with miscarriage a therapist gave me last year

for my two spirit babies I chose a special object (crystals as it turned out) and put them in a little womblike pouch which I pinned in my trouser pockets ( very close to where they should have been) and carried them around with me everywhere till I was ready to place them on my "sacred place" at home ( a shelf in my bedroom with special objects, candles, incense etc for remembereing the divine as I understand it). They even got to come (privately) to a big family occasion - my youngest brother's wedding where space was made in the ceremony to include those who couldn't be there. This was so important to me, esp. being able to caress 'them' in my pocket whenever I wanted to and put them in the sacred place when I was good and ready, which took a few months.

hope this is helpful to any grieving mamas and that it makes sense - still a tender subject after 10+ years and two living kids


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## Ms. Mom (Nov 18, 2001)

emmaline, I have goosbumps thinking about it. What a loving and touching tribute to your child. I've never heard of doing this. Now I'll reccommend it to everyone. You gave yourself time to work through your greif and when you were ready you let them go.

It's a lovely tribute to them. I thank you deeply for sharing this with us.


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## Becky N. (Nov 20, 2001)

#


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## JessicaS (Nov 18, 2001)

what a wonderful idea....I had never thought of that....


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## emmaline (Dec 16, 2001)

yes isn't it a good idea? simple, beautiful, effective.
the therapist actually suggested to complete with a little ceremony but I found placing them on my sacred place to be just right (for now anyway)
also I was amazed at how the project came together - I had an amethyst ring from my first pregnancy and a pink semiprecious stone (not sure what) associated with the second and found a little jewellery purse that was so womb shaped with a drawstring cervix and all! made of black velvet. It's hard to describe how comfortable it felt to carry it around *as long as I wanted to*, and so privately
I really really recommend this!


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## Ms. Mom (Nov 18, 2001)

emmaline, It does sound so healing. I came to a point in my grief where I was ready to have a 'place' for my daughter. I had several special memories framed. We hung them on a wall in my hallway with a small shelf. On the shelf are several things that remind us of her. I packed up her things and put them in a box which I take out sometimes when I need to be in-touch with her.

I don't think' we're ever truly 'over' greiving, but with cerimony's like the one you described we can put our grief into perspective and find a special place for your loved ones.

Again, what a lovely tribute to your miscarreid babies. I really apprecaite you sharing this with everyone hear. It's made me think deeply.

Packed Away

It's all Packed away now
So neat and tight
It's all packed away now
Only seven months later
In a little box
A little box

My daughter's life
A lifetime of hopes and dreams
All packed away
So neat and tight
In a little box
A little box

It only took a day
To pack away
In a river of tears
My daughter's life
In a little box
A little box

The room is empty now
It has been for so long
You can feel the emptiness
Silenced by cleanliness
In a little box
A little box

No more holding
Her burgundy dress
Rocking it gently
It's packed up tight
In a little box
A little box

Only her memories remain
I tried to pack them away
But they stayed
And could not go
In a little box
A little box


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## kykarraliv (Jan 26, 2002)

what a wonderful idea. It brought tears to my eyes. I lost one of my twin girls and the anniversary of her death is coming up. I feel this may help me get through tis time. Thankyou


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