# Is this the miscarriage really starting? (a bit graphic, sorry)



## Britishmum (Dec 25, 2001)

We found out a week ago that the baby's hb had stopped (between 10 and 12 weeks) . I started spotting eight days ago, and the bleeding has steadily got stronger.

I've just had mild twinges on and off all week, and not even needed to take a Motrin or use a heat pad. But when I had dd#2 I walked around at 8cm without knowing I was labouring and it was still a week or more before I went into labour, and progressed fast to 10. So I'm wondering if I've done the same thing again? Is it possible to be at that stage without feeling much? (although 8-10 was hellish and pushing, well, I don't want to think about it, so I certainly don't have pain free labours LOL)

Then tonight I had a gush of blood and one rather big clot. The bleeding is picking up and steady, but nothing more pain-wise than some discomfort.

Is this likely to carry on for days like this? Or could the full miscarriage be imminent? I am only really concerned because I dont have family around and need to sort out my two young children. I'm praying that maybe it will happen in the night and I won't have to call on anyone to come. That has been my biggest worry about m/c naturally, that they will be traumatised by me being in a bad way or by having to be looked after by someone else (not something they are used to except my family, who are a continent away







)

Any insights from anyone on mdc on a Sunday night?


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## greenbeing (Jun 25, 2003)

Britishmum, I'm sorry for your loss.
Although I am not an expert, I can tell you my experience. When I started spotting, it took 12 days until the miscarriage. About 4 days before, I was bleeding a lot, had some cramping, and passed some large clots. The night before it happened, I woke up with cramping/labor pains. They hurt pretty bad and I even got sick during all of it. After 5 hours it eased up, I was able to sleep and even went to work. Halfway through the day, contractions started again, and by 6, the sac with Little One in it came out.
It sounds like the time is getting close from what you've said. I think you'll experience some severe cramping/contractions beforehand since your cervix has to open a bit. You should have enough time to get your children situated.
I'm sorry you have to do this alone. You're in my thoughts and prayers.


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## Arduinna (May 30, 2002)

I was 9 weeks spotted lightly for 4 days and then had full blown labor like pains for about 5-6 hours. My dh was here to watch dd otherwise not sure what I would have done. I definately wasn't able to care for anyone. But that doesn't mean that you will expereince the same thing.

I'm so sorry for your loss.


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## lac (Nov 22, 2002)

Hi

I am very sorry for your loss, but was glad I found your post because I, too, am awaiting a natural m/c. I just turned 40 last Sunday and on Tuesday was 11 weeks pregnant with my third, thinking that in one week I would be able to start telling people, esp. my kids (now 4-1/2 and 6-1/2, both normal, healthy pregnancies). On Wednesday, after running and a light workout, I went to pee and had a "gush" of blood - the toilet was red. When I wiped, there was a tiny string of tissue. (Not a drop since, although I have had a few irregular cramps and also have a high pain tolerance). I went in immediately for an U/S and was told and shown that the sac was empty (blighted ovum) and my uterus only 7-8 weeks in size, not 11. I was offered a D&C, which was being gently pushed as being the best choice, because "nature is not always so kind to women having a m/c, and a natural m/c could take weeks, with lots of pain, etc., etc." My husband is pushing for the D&C, as I my belly can be quite pronounced, esp. at night, and I guess it would be awkward to answer if someone asks now if I'm pregnant (which I think many have suspected already), but I was hoping this m/c would have started already. However, I am more comfortable with this decision (for now) knowing of yours and others' experiences. I do have to say, though, that it does sound tempting to be "done" with the D&C.

Thank you. I am sorry that you are going through this alone, I can't imagine. You sound very strong and brave. Good luck to you and wishing you a successful next pregnancy.

Laura


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## Ms. Mom (Nov 18, 2001)

Britishmum and Laura, I'm so very sorry for your losses.

Miscarriage is like birth. Each experience is completely unique to that person and that pregnancy. I know, you're looking for more solid information. I wish I could give that too you.

Britishmum, It does sound like the miscarriage is progressing normaly. The clot you passed may have been all the tissue present or there may be more comming. What's most important right now is for you to stay in-tune with your body. The things that should be of concern are heavy bleeding (soaking more than one pad in an hour for 3+ hours), severe pain (pain you have difficulty breathing through), feaver and dizzyness. Please, if ANY of these things happen, call your doctor or midwife right away.

In most cases woman can miscarry naturally before 14 weeks. The baby is still rather small. It is rare that something more serious can happen, but you do want to stay in-tune with your body.

While you're waiting it's important for you to take care of yourself. Make sure you're drinking a TON of water to keep hydrated. Try to eat several small meals instead of a few large ones, this will keep you more comfortable. Try not to lift heavy objects or do too much on your feet. It's ok to move and keep labor going, but you also want to be gentle to your body.

I'll keep you both in my thoughs, please keep us informed on how your doing.


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## Britishmum (Dec 25, 2001)

Laura, I'm so sorry you're going through this too. Like you, we were about to tell everyone, but I ended up keeping my 12 week appt for discussing my options and d&c.







 Life can be cruel sometimes.

I know everyone's experience is different, but I've seen a gradual increase in bleeding, so I feel that my body knows what it's doing. If it wasn't for the worries about my two children, I'd be certain I was doing the right thing.

I hope things progress as easily for you as they can do. I'm so sorry for your loss. Pm me if you want to talk.

Take care.


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## Ms. Mom (Nov 18, 2001)

Britishmum







, I wish I knew what to tell you about the kids. I'm so sorry you have to go through this alone. It must be terribly frightening. How are you feeling now? I'll hold you in my thoughts.


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## Britishmum (Dec 25, 2001)

Ms Mom, you have to be the sweetest person ever. Thank you so much for your practical help and kindness.

Things have slowed down since last night's sudden bleeding and clots. We're just hanging around at home, watching endless videos. (I'll have some job weaning the girls off TV after this is over







: ) I'm trusting now in my body to know how and when to progress. When I was about to go into labour with dd#2, dd#1 was really, really sick, and I held off until she was recovered. I'm hoping that my body will do the same now, and choose a time when I can get help with the girls.

Even if it turns out to be difficult for them, I still feel that I give myself to them 100% every day of their lives. This is the one and only thing I will ever get to do for this little baby, to birth him quietly at home as nature intended. So, if the girls have to suffer a little for their sibling, then that is what will have to happen. It's the best I can do in a terrible situation.

If it works out badly, at least I will know that I didnt tread this road lightly and without forethought. Hopefully, though, things will work out OK. I have several friends who have offered help. The girls aren't comfortable with other people, but if need be, they will have to manage. I keep telling myself that they will survive to play again tomorrow. This baby needs my attention right now, and I need to give it to him. That's the least I can do.


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## Ms. Mom (Nov 18, 2001)

You're words are beautiful just as the love you have for this baby.

Yes, you're girls will be fine through this. As a mother, you're going to worry some, but I think you're right about them being ok. You and this baby need this time to say goodby. Also, you can talk to the girls about this one day and it will bring you that much closer.

Many women find it comforting to name thier miscarried babies. I gave mine celestial names that could go either way for boy or girl. You may also want to write a letter to your baby telling him/her how much you wanted and loved them and your dreams for them. You can either tuck the letter away in a special place, or place it on a balloon and let it go.

Please continue to take care of yourself and don't be afraid to accept help from others. I know, it's hard to do, but right now you do need to lean on people.


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## WarriorqueenBea (Oct 7, 2003)

((((HUGS))))


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## normajean (Oct 21, 2003)

My first miscarriage (at 12 weeks) started with brownish spotting, then nothing, then hours later a GUSH of blood, passing several large clots, and then about 2 days of heavy bleeding and clots. The clots I passed were fairly solid. The pain was not too bad, just period cramps. By day four it was completely done and my followup with my doctor on day five he said from a pelvic exam it looked as though I had never even been pregnant. It was completely done in a total of 5 days.

I am in the process of my second (5.5 weeks) and this has been different. Started with light spotting that gradually increased to heavier than a period by the end of the day Saturday. Steady but tapering off yesterday and today now its like a medium period. The clots I am passing with this one are more mucousy and dissolve partially when they hit the water in the toilet and shower. I guess its because at 5.5 weeks the baby itself was very small and mostly just uterine lining type stuff I am passing. I have had more pain and soreness with this one. Back pain, cramping, and tenderness when I change position.


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