# Stanley Willem



## MovingMomma (Apr 28, 2004)

I lost my little boy yesterday.

He was 11 weeks, and we'd just seen him on the ultrasound for the first time the day before. He was wiggling, exploring his face, had a HR of 160.

But the ultrasound tech wanted to do a vaginal ultrasound after looking through my belly. Of course she couldn't tell us why. I'm desperate to know now, but I'm not ready to go in.

I had just a bit of spotting 5 days ago, but started bleeding again about 3 hours after the ultrasound.

I rested, but woke at 3 am & couldn't go back to sleep. I then realized I was having contractions 2.5 minutes apart. At 4 I briefly felt nauseous and then told DH & called my midwife.

After I got off the phone with DMW, I told DH I had to poop, but I didn't want to. Our baby came out on the toilet. He fell out, enclosed in his sac, with the placenta attached.

He was beautiful. Just a teeny tiny white baby, with translucent skin and limbs smaller than twine. We could see his ribs. A three strand cord. The sac was the size of a chicken egg.

I passed a decidual cast about two hours later, though at the time I thought it was part of a placenta. It looked similar in color & texture to a full term placenta, though nothing like Stanley's tiny white placenta. My midwife came out after that.

We buried him under the rosebush we planted on top of Nora's placenta two years ago. We placed the cast in first, then wrapped him, still in his sac, in the newborn cap I'd knitted for him.

I miss my baby. I feel empty. I feel like I was carrying him and just forgot to hold on and dropped him and lost him.


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## millefleur (Nov 25, 2008)

Hugs mama. Just hugs. You're in my thoughts and you're in the right place for love and support.


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## JayJay (Aug 1, 2008)

I'm sorry sweetie. *HUGE hugs* You're lost, I know, but you're in a safe place here. We all look after one another. *HUGE hugs* again XXXXXXX So much love to you and your family. XXXX


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## lisa_nc (Jul 25, 2008)

I am so sorry.







I know it hurts. These girls are the best, so please lean on them. Love to you, mama.


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## MiracleMama (Sep 1, 2003)

I'm so sorry. Unfortunately I can totally relate to that "empty" feeling you are describing.
Sending you lots of love and peace and you start the healing process.


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## mamaveggie (Mar 24, 2007)




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## SMR (Dec 21, 2004)

I'm so sorry for your loss momma


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## Pearl1 (Aug 29, 2008)

oh, mama. i am so very sorry.








stanley willem

~s.


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## mamacita angelica (Oct 6, 2006)

i am so sorry for your loss. we will remember little stanley willem with you.


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## no5no5 (Feb 4, 2008)

I'm so sorry.


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## bc1995 (Mar 22, 2004)

I am so very sorry for your loss.







That empty feeling was so awful.


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## maemaemama (Oct 10, 2007)

how horribly sad. i'm so sorry.


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## blissful_maia (Feb 17, 2005)

Sweet mama.





















I can hear your pain in your post. I am so sorry for this loss to you and your family. I hope you can get some insight into what happened when you're ready, and that you find peace one day.








Stanley Willem


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## welldone (May 30, 2003)

i'm so sorry.

i just lost winter last thursday at 11 weeks, 6 days, so i'm right there with you. i understand the emptiness and sorrow.


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## Cheshire (Dec 14, 2004)

I'm so sorry. You and your family will be in my thoughts.


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## Sanguine (Sep 8, 2006)

I'm so sorry..


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## lil_stinkyfeet (Nov 12, 2006)

I am so very sorry for you loss


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## Carlyle (Mar 31, 2007)

Oh wow. That must have been SO hard, especially after just seeing him moving--that really makes things so much more real-feeling (for me, at least). I'm really sorry.


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## stacey05 (Dec 20, 2007)

I'm so, so sorry for your loss and the pain you are experiencing. I, too, just miscarried my baby (10 weeks) 2 days ago. This is my 2nd miscarriage in a few short months. My heart is breaking with you.







(


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## Manessa (Feb 24, 2003)

I am so sorry







:


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## michanders4 (Jul 24, 2008)

I'm so sorry for your loss


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## mama2toomany (Oct 17, 2005)

Stanley Willem


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