# Today I had my 8 week U/S



## Kailey's mom (Apr 19, 2007)

and I was so excited. My dh took off work, we brought our 4 year old dd so she could see the heartbeat. I've been very nausiated, sore boobs, postitive pregnancy tests etc. I got into the O/B's office, where the pregnancy was confirmed, and I was sent in to see the doctor and have the ultrasound.

It took a while for the ob to find anything, she told me not to freak, my uterus was tilted, and it was hard to position the "wand"

She found the sack. There was nothing in it.























I was hoping that dark spot we were looking at was not what was supposed to be a baby.

The o/b than, in a very concerned and sad tone, told us that this was a blighted ovum. She said that by 8 weeks, a heartbeat would show. there was nothing. I felt like I died at that moment. I tried to stay strong, and absorb all that the ob was telling us. When she started talking about D&C, I lost it. It was real.

Dh took my daughter out into the waiting room, while I tried to compose myself.

They took blood levels today, I have to go to the lab on saturday, than back to the O/B on monday.

My heart is broken. I have been so sick, looking forward to the 12 week mark *end of morning sickness*. My boobs hurt, I am so nausiated, and it's all in vein. For nothing. My baby does not exist.

I'm not bleeding, not cramping,and feel the same as yesterday, except I am filled with grief. I can't stop crying. I just want this to be a bad dream.

I'm in shock. I hate the O/B right now, she said my baby was gone. I hate my life right now because my baby is gone. I don't know what to do. I'm afraid to sleep, because what if my body relaxes and I start bleeding. I dont' want to miscarry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just want to pretend today didnt' happen. This is too much, I loved my baby, I LOVE my baby. Where is it????? I hate my body for tricking me!

I told my daughter that the baby had to go back to heaven, that Jesus needed another angel. I thought that was age appropriate. I shouldnt' have told her I was pregnant. I did though, and what a dumb thing I did!!!!!!!!!! She was so excited. When I told her the baby went to heaven, she said "no it didn't , it's just too small"

I don't know how to cope, I'm scared of what happens next. Miscarriage. There was some fluid outside the sack. The O/B thought it could be blood. What was supposed to be a happy day turned into the worst day of my life.


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## Anastasiya (Jun 13, 2006)

I am so very sorry.









Prayers coming your way for healing, strength, peace and comfort.


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## tinynyota (Apr 13, 2009)

I'm so sorry.


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## Katica (Jan 13, 2008)

so sorry for your loss


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## cparkly (Jul 21, 2009)

I am so sorry for your loss, mama.


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## MFuglei (Nov 7, 2002)

I am so sorry for your loss. I had a blighted ovum in March of 09 and it was so difficult. Like you, I'd told my children that I was pregnant. I had 2 uneventful pregnancies - I had no reason to think that one might end in miscarriage (and yet now, knowing what I know, I would've ventured to keep quiet).

May you heal quickly and move forward from here. Again, I'm so very sorry for your loss.


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## dfunk98 (Jul 14, 2005)

i'm so sorry and wish you didn't have to be here with the rest of us. that being said, you're in good company here. this board has been a great source of comfort and support for many. i hope you will find that as well.


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## gothnurse3 (Dec 13, 2006)

I am so sorry. My very first pregnancy was exactly the story you just told us. I so understand the shock, anger, broken dreams, and ultimately sadness. Be kind to yourself and I pray that you will soon have a baby to hold.


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## Snugglebugmom (Mar 17, 2008)

I'm so very sorry for your loss.







It is so hard to come to terms with, and it's devastating to feel so betrayed by your body. Wishing you healing and peace of mind.


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## Mama~Love (Dec 8, 2003)

Offering my condolences as well. I'm so sorry this happened. The grief and anger are so overwhelming sometimes. This board is wonderful for support. Don't be afraid to come here to vcent or cry - we all understand what you're going through, unfortunately.








's to you!!


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## xtara2003x (Sep 25, 2006)

I cried with you as I read your post. I am so so so very deeply sorry for your loss. I was in a very very similar situation....after telling my daughter and having her with me at the doctors office. It's heartbreaking. You will never be the same. I wish you peace and comfort as you mourn the loss of your precious baby.







s


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## enigo (Mar 11, 2009)

With my second mc, I had amped up my son to see the heatbeat. There wasn't one. He flipped out (I mean flipped!) when they wouldn't let him see "his brother". It was awful dealing with his tantrum after trying to keep from dying inside.

I too will never tell him again until we're much farther along.


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## M.Q. (Sep 5, 2009)

I am so sorry for your loss.
-MQ


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## AngelBee (Sep 8, 2004)

I am so sorry for what you are going through right now.


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## pycelan (Aug 14, 2005)

I am so sorry that you have to go thru this...that any of us have to. Like Tara, I also cried while reading your post. I experienced the EXACT same thing in May. In fact, my MC just finished about 2 weeks ago. I had told my DD and DS...they were so excited...and then CRUSHED when the baby went back to heaven. I am sending you thoughts and prayers. I am glad you have come to this board. The women here are very supportive.


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## SuburbanHippie (Aug 29, 2008)

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel about having to tell your DD. I told my kids that I was pregnant when I was about 6 weeks. Then at 10 weeks I had to tell them that "I was wrong. We're not having another baby after all." It was heartbreaking, but I just couldn't go into anymore details than that with them at the time. My heart hurt too much.

I'm so very sorry you have to go through this.


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## Mother Cake (Jan 2, 2010)

Here to add my condolences as well. I am so sorry for your loss.


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## voicegrrl (Aug 17, 2007)

So very sorry for your loss and pain. My 8 year old dd was the only one with me for my ultrasound and she was so devastated so I understand how you feel. I hope you find peace and healing in your own time.


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## CherryBomb (Feb 13, 2005)

I'm so sorry







I don't think anyone is ever prepared for how much miscarriage hurts


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## Ackray (Feb 11, 2004)

I'm so sorry.


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## crayfishgirl (May 26, 2009)

I'm sorry too, Mama. As others have said, none of want to be here, but its a place of great support for those that are. Be gentle with yourself.


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## PrettyHippie (Oct 8, 2009)

There is nothing I can say to make the pain, hurt, and anger even remotely go away. But please know that I and SO MANY of us have been where you are right now and are here to help you however we can. When I lost my very first baby we had had a heartbeat at 6wks and everything looked great. Next appointment at 12wks was suppose to be so happy. Hubby went with me so we could hear the heartbeat of our first child...no heartbeat. The OB got out the US machine...what had been been my wiggly little bean at 6wks was now silent and still. I could have died I was so upset. I was so angry and hurt for quite a long time. It did get better...eventually. I had to heal. Like I said, we're here for you.


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## Kailey's mom (Apr 19, 2007)

Still not good news, but I've been updating in this thread http://www.mothering.com/discussions...1#post15569197


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