# Sexing up our kids....



## mamaofthree (Jun 5, 2002)

I was out today buying my daugter some ballet shoes, we had to go to the mall, because it was the only Payless Shoe store close to us with ballet shoes. So the kids and I have a look around. (We haven't been to the mall since the holidays)
I was shocked. The clothes they are marketing to little girls is outragous! I think it is totally wrong to dress a baby/toddler/adolecent/pre-teen in those hoochie mama clothes!
Don't get me wrong, I like low rider pants and shirts that show off my belly button ring (the reason I got it!) But I am an adult! I am in control of my sexuality... I know what it is! But little girls have no idea! And the fact that they are forced to dress this way is sick!
I saw string bikini underwear for girls as young as 2!







And low rider short shorts, halter tops that where low cut!







It was nasty! And anyone who says that little girls (as young as 6 months) want to dress this way, is fooling themselves.
As we looked around my daughter found nothing she would want to wear, she said there wasn't enough material. It showed to much of her skin.
I know girls, as they get older, like to dress in a little less. But come on! A 2 year old sure as heck doesn't want to wear platform sandles and a micro mini sun dress!
I have a friend who sends her daughter to a private school, were they wear a uniform. But that girl (same age as DD) is a fashion slave. She isn't even 9 yet, and wants only name brands. And they all have to be "sexy". Twisted!
My DD has her own style. At first I was a little embarrassed by her wild clothing ideas, but now I have to say I am proud. She could care less about who made the clothes, and she wants it to fit right!
I am alone here in thinking that we are making our daughters to sexual to young? It is crazy to me!









HEATHERH


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## fromscatteredtribe (Mar 27, 2003)

i have three boys who are still rather young, but my five year old is already singing the K-I-S-S-I-N-G song. they are absolutely PUSHED into sexy stuff. i am afraid of what will happen when my kids are in school with the girls who wear the hoocie mama clothes (as I also refer to them). I will NEVER go into abercrombie because they are the ones that made the news for marketing thongs to six year old girls. You pretty much have to make your own clothes or go to some granola head place or land's end or something and then your kid won't be cool. we have to raise our boys to grow up and commend those women who are BRAVE enough to resist the EVERYTHING's on show mentality. I have started by having my children refer to older female persons as WOMEN, not girls not ladies, or anything worse. I hope your daughter continues to be thoughtful and critical and find the way to express herself that does not conflict with her own ideals....with you as her parent i am sure she will.


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## Mommiska (Jan 3, 2002)

I must say, I agree with you - dh and I were talking about this just the other day. I think it's dangerous, actually. Not that a provacatively dressed 5 year old is going to turn someone into a pedophile, but from what I have read, pedophiles use the fact that children are dressed in this way to justify their actions to themselves...

My girls get most of their clothes from Gymboree - we have a shop near us that has a whole section dedicated to 'sale' stuff (anywhere from 40-70% off), so I can afford stuff there. At least they look like little girls...

My Mom occasionally sends us OshKosh stuff as well - which also looks like it belongs on a young child, rather than a teenager. There is stuff out there - but why is it the expensive stuff?


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## earthpapi (May 29, 2003)

i agree the cloth for kids these days is crazy. makes me think what will be out there to buy my dd when she is 2







:


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## MommaKat (May 20, 2003)

I also think this trend in girls clothing is having another effect on their sexuality. It is encouraging girls to become sexually active at a much younger age.

My soon-to-be 11 year old daughter came home from school about halfway though the school year, and told me that there was a girl in her class that just found out she was PREGNANT! And not only that, she had been bragging before that she was having sex with her "boyfriend" and was PROUD she got knocked up!









Thank goodness neither of my girls are into that mode of dress, are NOT interested in boys, and think this whole thing of showing as much as legally allowed is insane. I think I've done well there









As for shopping for modest clothes: Consider shopping at Wal-Mart. I know they're evil, but there are plenty of things in the misses section, that are modest, and won't make your wallet go up in flames


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## wombat (Nov 3, 2002)

I'm in 2 minds about these clothes for little girls. On the one hand, I think they're ok if the child doesn't associate them with 'sexy'. I mean a 2 year old in a mini skirt isn't such a big deal. If the child just likes the material or something and doesn't even notice it's a short skirt then I wouldn't stop her wearing it or make it an issue. Preserve the innocence kinda thing. Same with halter tops or anything skimpy - a child's body is not sexualised unless we make it so.

The problem of paedophiles is with the paedophiles not with what the child is wearing - they're always gonna look for a 'reason'.

But a 9 year old trying to be 'sexy' like her friends - NO, NO, NO. In general, I dislike the idea of trying to dress children in adult clothing. I don't like little boys in suits and ties either, looks silly I think. And I'm also totally against provocative advertising.


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## LunaMom (Aug 8, 2002)

mamaofthree, first I need to bow down to you







for having THREE children and still having the bod for belly baring shirts and a navel ring!!!

There have been so many threads like this one, a couple probably started by me! It's a huge pet peeve of mine. I don't have too much trouble finding decent clothes for dd, though. I get her some Land's End, and I find often cute things at Old Navy that are stylish enough to please her (and me, I admit it, it's fun to buy cute clothes for a girl...don't hit me!) but not revealing or sexy. She is still in the 4-6x sizes, though, and I've heard that once they move up to 7-14 it gets harder. Old Navy tends to have the same styles in all sizes, though, so I'll keep on shopping there!

I don't think the issue is about attracting pedophiles as much as it is about the messages we are giving girls about their value. We can easily blame pop culture for this (thanks a million, Britney and Christina







: ), but honestly, if parents weren't so clueless and didn't buy the stuff, clothing manufacturers would stop making it. I think it is so, so sad that there are parents who are teaching their daughters that being sexually attractive to men is of tremendous importance.







And it stinks that we mamas who are working to send our daughters better messages about themselves have to worry about what they will learn from schoolmates and billboards and television and so on.


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## Evergreen (Nov 6, 2002)

I was at the mall last summer and saw a woman buying THONG underwear for her 10 or 11 year old daughter that said "FOXY" or something equally trashy across the front. I was soooo floored, I had to ask the guy working the counter, "Did that little girl just purhase thong underweaar????" He nodded and looked (almost) as disgusted as I.


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## DreamWeaver (May 28, 2002)

I know!! I know!! sometimes I look at the clothes and go "yuck! argh!!"
In a way, it's kind of sad, what these manufacturers have in mind.... what companies have in mind. You know they say if you get a young kid to like your product since young, you have a follower for life- that's what branding, marketing n advertising is abt, esp when targeting young minds!!









I don't know for how long I can dress my little girl in what I like, what I feel looks great on her.... I pray for strength n wisdom when the time of clothing battle comes.....


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

I make children's cloths, for my own and for others. I also buy a lot of clothes from children's boutiques. I buy from them because most of the clothes up to size 8 in girls, is "girly" and appropriate and modest but also fun and whimsical. A lot of vinatage styles are in childrens boutiques and the quality is worth every penny. My daughter wears a 6-6X now. It is getting to be slim pickings in the clothing department at department stores, walmart, or the like. Instead of saying Girls Size 7-14 on the signs over the department it should say "Welcome to Young Hoochie Mama Clothing". I am sure that over the next year I will be doing a lot more sewing for my daughter because I REFUSE to dress her in what is considered "trendy" right now. The clothing is to "sexy". Little girls should not be dressed to look like street walkers.


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## Piglet68 (Apr 5, 2002)

I agree totally! I am disgusted by the clothes I see in stores.

I mean honestly, what is the point of baring your tummy when your torso is shaped like an apple - little girls don't have waists and hips! They don't have breasts so why the halter tops? It's crazy! So you end up with nine year olds who are worried about their "figure" (uh, I thought you had to go through puberty to have a "figure"!) and their body shape (pre-teens wanting breast implants? plasic surgery?) and it's just all so sick, leading to eating disorders and poor selfimage b/c they can't possibly look the way they expect to in these clothes (ie. like Brittney!).

Then you've got the whole concept of sexuality. Girls need to learn about it, how to handle it, etc but I don't think this is acheived by dressing them like tarts. Thing is, you can be *very* sexy in a classy way. You can show off your figure (and you might as well when you're young and have a great body) in ways that aren't cheap, you don't need to reveal everything. Girls need to understand the difference between the good kinds of attention and the bad kinds of attention: too many of them think any kind of attention is good, and they know they get it when they dress like slut-bunnies.

I really want my DD to understand the difference between SEXY and SLUTTY. There's class and there's trash and the stuff they are marketing to kids these days is just TRASH!!


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

It is wierd for me because with mny oldest two I go between showing off the baby rools with lily to trying to find a few modest outfits for Madeline. It is wierd because I think halters and short dresses are only appropriate for the very young. with bellys and bloomers to show off. Now we are getting to the point where I don't feel comfortable with madeline (almost 7) wearing a two peice or short dress. I don't like her running around in her swimsuit. Shopping for clothes this fall was a nightmare. Black lace see through shirts, minu skirts, flared lowrise jeans (she is short and still a little chubby in the middle - flares and lowrise are not a good look for her) and what is up with shoes. In my baby's size - infant 2 - all I could find was platforms. we are talking about kids who either aren't walking or just getting the hang of it and they are selling them platforms.

aggghhh! I could go on all day about this. The best places to shop are Hannah Anderson (dh hates thier stuff and refers to it as "the mumu store" but ilike them draped in mumus over kinderwhore wear) gymboree (now in XXXL woohoo!!) and occaisionally Gap and Old navy have some decent stuff (check the racks behind thier kinderwhore sections). Lands in has nice stuff too.

The all time worst that I have seen (and there are just some stores we don't go into so this may seem mild) was a denim skirt, above ankle lengtj. we thought we had finally found something decent and then we noticed thier was a split all the way up to the crotch. size freaking 7. I don't think the desighners relize who they are making these clothes for really. I used to work at Kohls (where we found the offending skirt) and there was one line of clothing that stood out as little girl stuf in the 7-16 size range . Healthtex. And we used to comment everytime how the manufacturers just didn't get it who would want to wear something so babyish when they are in this size. it never occured to me a 5 or 6 year old would be in those sizes. And even as dd grows that is still the exact sort of clothing she wears (as a matter of fact a big cheer goes up every time we score some of that healthtex stuff on the clearance rack :LOL) It would appear they are the only ones with a clue.


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## momatheart23 (May 25, 2002)

I am only 23 so haven't been out of the teenage stuff too long. Everybody used to harass my mom when I was a young teen and wore the baggy saggy style. I had boxers on with my pants sagging and big shirts. My mom's response was always, I would rather have her wear that than tight and revealing. I looked like a gangster, but at least not like a slut. I can't believe they are selling stuff that I wouldn't even wear as an adult woman to children. I don't have a daughter yet, and I hope the clothing makers get their act together by the time I do. All they are teaching girls with clothing like that is that their body is the only thing that matter about them. The hypocracy of America preaching abstinence, abstinence, yet selling clothes that scream sex at such a young age. I was a teen not too long ago and I found the hypocracy of it all to be enraging.


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## sleepies (Nov 30, 2001)

in summer i am ok with tank tops and short stuff.

id NOT be ok with "sexy " stuff. i think there is a difference.

hard to verbalize.

i dont have a girl. i have two boys.

anyone notice boy shorts are LONG as pants??????????I hate them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they dont keep the boys cool, they are ugly and get in the way.

swimming trunks are down to their KNEES

and girl stuff barely covers their privates.!!!!!!!!!

what gives?


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## JessicaS (Nov 18, 2001)

That really burns me up! Whenever I see old navy ads the women and girls have shorts up to their crotch but the mens and boys are down past their knees!!! ACK!

It makes me crazy!!


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## Kylix (May 3, 2002)

I too have noticed the trend of dressing young girls older than their age. I started a thread about how the young girls (I mean six years old!!!) were dressed on American Juniors. These girls were wearing lipstick, hip huggers--which didn't flatter their shape, they looked weird, and tops that hung all off of their shoulders. One little girl was wearing a halter top and black tight pants with holes.

I believe these clothes were made to accentuate the body. A halter top is supposed to emphasis the breasts, hip huggers to show off a womanly shape and holes in your pants??? well, that goes without saying. These young girls do not have womanly bodies. They should not be sexualized. It is one thing if a grown woman who has control over her body and sexuality where's the clothes--more power to her...but the young girls? It doesn't make any sense. To me, it is just teaching them early that that is the way they SHOULD look no matter if they want to or not.

Kylix


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## boobykinmamma (Nov 28, 2001)

Kylix, that is exactly my comment. We were watching the same show last night and dh and I were both disgusted and saddened by how some of the LITTLE girls were dressed and how they moved (shaking hips, etc). The sad thing is that thier parents,in most cases, put them up to it and encouraged them to act in a sexual manner. Very sad.


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## mamaofthree (Jun 5, 2002)

I am so happy I am not the only person out there who thinks girls clothing is crazy!

HEATHERH


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## merpk (Dec 19, 2001)

Entirely to be expected, right? I mean, Barbie isn't known for covering much, right? And that's what the girls get starting at, oh, say, 3?4? yo ...

Hard to teach little ones to respect their bodies, that their bodies are their private property and not for other people or strangers, when you're dressing them to flash it. Kids understand hypocrisy; maybe not the word, but the concept is clear.


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## corrie43 (Mar 9, 2003)

I am guily of dressing my first dd, when she was 6 and under, a litle too revealing. We thought all the tank tops were cute ect. Never did she look like a hoochiemama, just shorter shorts than what I would wear. I guess it was fun for me to buy cute clothes for her because I can't wear them myself. She's 7 now and I have a new dd, and things are changing.
No more tank tops unless they cover the chest well and have thick straps, no short shorts. dresses at least to kness or longer. No bikinis either.
After watching shows with little girls dressed up and seeing girls at the parks looking like britney spears I got kind of disgusted with myself for even getting her the stuff she used to wear, and it wasn't even that bad... Oh well live and learn.
Corrie


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## Mommasgirls (Nov 5, 2002)

I hate trying to shop for clothes for my girls. I love Hannah Anderson but usually can't afford it. I just don't understand why people think it's okay to put a 5 yo in a mini skirt w/a belly shirt and platform shoes? Argh!! This week I took Samantha shopping for sandals-that was a nightmare. 99.9% of the sandals had heels or were a platform shoe.Um no she has a hard enough time not tripping in sneakers and she's only 5.
I am not looking forward to shopping for school clothes.I need to start saving now so I can buy on line from Hannah Anderson and Lands End.


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

We get hannah anderson reasonably priced at thier outlet stores. The ones we shop at are in Minneapolis but I am sure there are others. Also check online. We get stuff for around the same price as Target. ALso in mineapolis there is a lands end outlet. Thier prices aren't great but still better than full price. Do you know anyone in Minneapoolis? (we have a SIL who graciously shops for us







)


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## jeca (Sep 21, 2002)

But what I hate even worse is the people who give these types of clothing as gifts to other peoples children. Okay you want to dress your child as a hooch is one thing but to assume that I would want to is crazy. I always end up with a few of these "so cute" gifts. One girl even made a comment, I know you probably won't let her wear it but I think it's time you let her be more grown up. WHat the ^%#$? My daughter is 21 months old BTW.


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## dentente (Aug 14, 2002)

Definitely agree that a 9 year old does not need a thong. Thanks Abercrombie & Fitch, for providing yet another way for kids to be neurotic. My friend's 9 year old was mad for the hootchy look until we had a conversation with her in which she was made to understand that the cooty-covered boys WILL want to bug you if you dress that way. She really did not, in her mind, equate dressing sexily with unwanted male attention. She gets it now. Sometimes it's as simple as explaining why such clothing exists. She still likes halter tops but she does not wear them to school now nor does she make a stink about not being allowed to. People need to have these kinds of conversations with their kids earlier. I think kids can dress cool and can dress attractively without looking like they are trying to sell something they really haven't got yet.

Dressing children like mini-adults is an old, old thing. It's a sad thing too. Children grow up so fast. Why hasten it? Why make them feel even less like being a kid is an okay thing to be?

Denny


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

Quote:

One girl even made a comment, I know you probably won't let her wear it but I think it's time you let her be more grown up. WHat the ^%#$? My daughter is 21 months old BTW.
Had to LOL at that. Uhhh, I think she can wait to be "grown up" until she can put on her own clothes... or at least pee in her own toilet!

That said, I do let DD wear bikinis. They fit her *way* better than one pieces since she is very thin. She still fits some 2T two piece swimsuits although she is almost 4.5. Today we were at the beach and to dry off I let her run around naked in the sun. I felt bad later when her best friend wanted to, but couldn't, because it wasn't appropriate. I just so don't think of her as a sexual being that I never find anything she wants to wear inappropriate. That said, she doesn't have any shirts that show her tummy and tends to wear "boys" pants (adidas warmups, sweats, etc...).

I HATE how long boys shorts are though! I have way more of an issue with DS--- he really wanted to get a matching "finding Nemo" dress with DD and I just *couldn't* get myself to buy it for him. He has longish hair and *loves* clips, loves getting his nails painted, etc... but I just couldn't buy him a dress (he is only 21 months btw).

I don't have a problem with skimpy swimsuits for kids my DDs age, because honestly I don't think she even needs a top. If DD wanted to go in just shorts I'd be like, "so what" her body, with shorts, doesn't really look different than her male friends! I encourage her to dress for comfort and thats about my input.

I do wish Hanna Anderson was cheaper though. The outlet is *great*. I got myself pjs there yesterday for $15 usually $56!

Kay


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## ~Megan~ (Nov 7, 2002)

I saw a teen girl out today in what has come to be the norm. Lots of eye makeup, a very tight fitting top with only one sleeve, very low pants that barely appeared to cover her crack and tight as can be.
She was with her mom who was conservatively dressed and what appeared to be a sister who looked about 8 wearing similarly sexsy clothes.
I was disgusted.


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## joesmom (Nov 19, 2001)

i REALLY wanted a girl, to dress in cute pink clothes, but it is SO hard to find anything that looks like KID'S clothes. i remember wearing halter tops when i was little- the white off the shoulders with blue & red embroidery- anyone else remember those? (i'm 29.) i do not have a problem w/ little girls, like age 4 & under, in bikinis or tank tops, if they are the little kid style, ie a bilini w/ bright fishor flowers rather than sequins or lace.

i totally agree that the media & the clothing companies are distorting the image of what a young girl should look like, it makes me want to cry when i hear a child as young as 7 or 8 talking about needing to lose weight.

i'm glad you posted this, heather. i agree totally.


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## willowsmama (Jan 11, 2003)

My dd is 9. We stopped buying her brand new clothes a couple yrs. ago, the styles are just toooo 'hoochie mama' for me to buy.
I'm pretty open with dd. She can wear pretty much whatever she wants as long as she doesn't look like a streetwalker. My dd won't even TOUCH 1/2 the clothes out there! Last time I tried to treat her to brand new clothes, she asked if I could just save the 20.00 and go garage saling with her on Thurs.lolShe said the clothes would make her look naked.

BTW,I hate the boys/mens shorts thing too! Dh hates shorts that long. And dd would like to get some till we see how long they are.


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## mamapixie (May 30, 2002)

I noticed the change in little girl's clothes a few years ago, when I was trying to find something to buy my SIL(she's 11 now)for Christmas. Even Walmart/Kmart sells the hoochie mama clothes!! It does make me glad to have boys(and yeah, I do have the problem of my 7yo's jean shorts sitting at his knees, but as for swimming trunks, he's got a non-existent butt, a size 5 pair fits him fine, and they're shorter than the current style)

I saw an infant's bathing suit at the local discount store the other day, a strink bikini , that was 2 stars connected with a 1/2 inch wide piece of fabric for the top!! OMG was all I could say. There would be no way in H*ll any daughter of mine would ever wear something like that.


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## LunaMom (Aug 8, 2002)

Yeah, bathing suits are different - I have no issues with two-piece bathing suits on little girls. Honestly, they're easier once they use the toilet! But there's a difference between a cute girly two-piece and a sexy string bikini in a size 4, KWIM? I remember one time seeing these tiny little string bikinis with the traingle tops in the toddler section of the Gap, and they were made from shiny silver fabric. Ugh.


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## dentente (Aug 14, 2002)

Land's End has some pretty cool clothes for girls. Nice bathings suits with no Hootch Factor. www.landsend.com

Denny


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## alexa07 (Mar 27, 2003)

Low rise underwear for girls is very much in demand for my girls. Why? They don't want a boy teasing them that they can see their underwear!


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## Greaseball (Feb 1, 2002)

Well, here's what I think. I don't think kids really start caring about what they wear until they are age 4 or so, and up to that age, it's the parent's choice what they wear. But once they start having an opinion, I think it is the kid's choice. (Keep in mind I am only talking about my parenting philosophy for my family; not anyone else's kids!)

I believe in freedom-of-expression rights for children, even if I do not agree with what they want to express. A choice of clothing is one way people express themselves. If I can afford a particular item of clothing that dd wants, I think I should buy it for her. It can be said that little girls don't really want to dress that way, but if dd is pointing to something and says "I want that" then to me it says she wants that.

What I don't like, though, is the way little girls' clothes - the sexy and non-sexy ones - are made of really cheap non-durable fabric. Also, sometimes the clothes are not comfortable. I have the kind of body people normally like to display in string bikinis but I cannot bear to wear one because they are so uncomfortable and impractical! I really wish I could find one that works, though. I can just imagine how uncomfortable a 2-year-old would be in one of those. And the shoes - they are all so narrow! I buy wide sizes for dd so she doesn't grow up with the typical foot of the American female - narrow and scrunched. Her feet are square and wide, and I think that's the way they are supposed to be - not pointy!

Flimsy clothes are not good for playing in mud and rolling in the grass. I want to encourage these activities. One way I do this is by buying boys' clothes, which is an option for anyone here. They will be more comfortable and longer-lasting. And I get all kinds of comments about my "long-haired son!"









And also, if I don't want my dd to do something I should not do it either. If I don't want her eating candy, I don't eat it myself. So if I don't want her dressing like me, I have to stop dressing that way. Of course a girl is going to want to look like Mommy.

I read one Dear Abby that cautioned against sexy clothes for children in case "there is a 'funny uncle' around." Uh, sorry, but if a "funny uncle" is around, you child is not safe, no matter what she wears. She could wear a burqa and still the uncle would be "funny."

Anyway...that's what I think. I just wanted to make a pitch for dressing girls in boys' clothes. Does anyone else do this?


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

Quote:

just wanted to make a pitch for dressing girls in boys' clothes. Does anyone else do this?
Definately. In fact, DD often chooses "boy" clothes. For her summer jammies at Target for girls they had... hearts, bows, flowers? For boys? Fire fighters, super heros, jungle animals (the ones she picked) etc... Sweatpants in the winter: boys have cuffs and are heavier, girls have a bow, no cuffs and lighter material. Jeans are just whatever fits! Panties, though, *have* to be girls, LOL

Kay


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## Jennifer Z (Sep 15, 2002)

OT

Quote:

_Originally posted by sleepies_
*anyone notice boy shorts are LONG as pants??????????*
Some of them are long enough, especially once they go around a bulky CDing tushie, that I just get them AS pants for my short-legged boy. LOL.

BTW...you can often find shorter shorts in resale shops and thrift stores. I have a bunch of hand-me-downs from a now 5 year old and those are some seriously short shorts!


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

We don't buy a lot of boy clothes because I have super girly girls who almost always wear dresses anyway. But sweats absolutly must be bought in the boys department. occaisionally jeans but we rarely buy those new anyway.

I don't have a problem with two peice swimsuits. even skimpy ones so long as thier intent is not to look sexually appealing. The little star one is a clsassic design. when it comes right down to it little babies need not even wear cloths in the pool;. a little swim suit is just adornment anyway. Two peices last longer and are easier to getup and down when they gottsa pee but have waited to the very last minute to tell you in hopes that they won't have to miss anything in the pool







: But again, we never get anything sexy. Also now that dd is 7 I am starting to feel a little less keen on getting her 2 peices. We are very mosdest and everyone dresses very modestly around here. I always cover something when swimming (I either wear shorts or a top but never go completely exposed) so perhaps we are a little over the top for modesty but it is important to me.

Also I don't thjink little girls can fully appreciate what thier clothing choices do to men and boys. until they do get it I think it is important that parents step in and say "no, that is just too sexy. You will understand one day"


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## Greaseball (Feb 1, 2002)

Quote:

Also I don't thjink little girls can fully appreciate what thier clothing choices do to men and boys.
I plan to tell my dd the truth about this as soon as I think she will understand - that girls and their clothing do not "do" anything to boys. Boys and men choose to sexualize and objectify girls and women, and female clothing is used as an excuse to justify everything from rape to murder.

There is no universal standard for what males will find "sexy." There are men who are turned on by long skirts, full-coverage underwear, even burqas!

Also, girls are aroused by boys' clothing as well, only no one really wants to talk about it. Girls may be showing their bellies, while boys show their breasts! People say that male breasts are not "erotic," but they lie!!

Anyway...I probably would have posted this even if I didn't quote anything.

About the thongs...I don't really care what underwear my dd chooses to wear when she is out of diapers. I mean, it's underwear - not likely to be seen! I almost never wore underwear at all until I was 16. I think one thing a I can do as a parent to make toilet training seem more appealing is to tell dd she can wear whatever kind of underwear she wants. It wouldn't make sense to take that choice away from her at age 10 just so she won't wear a thong. Again, my only concern would be the comfort issue.

And with swimsuits, as long as she's still in diapers she can just wear one of those swim diapers and wouldn't really need a suit.


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## mahdokht (Dec 2, 2002)

*


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## Greaseball (Feb 1, 2002)

That's right about the thongs - (I keep typing 'things'!







) they are often peeking out and I have never cared for that style. I've noticed it's not just with thongs, it's with all underwear now. I would be embarrassed to be walking around with my underwear hanging out the way people do now.

Even when I was a kid and wearing that baggy pants with boxers style, I always kept the boxers covered. I do wear those low waist jeans now but I check in the mirror from every angle to make sure my underwear is tucked away.

I realize clothes can often be a sexual statement but a lot of responsibility for that is on the one who is looking - I also used to be one to blame other people for "making me think and do things." Like, if a topless man was lying asleep in a public park, I would think, "What a (insert sexually shaming word)" and then think he deserved whatever came to him. Later I could see that in fact he had done nothing wrong and I was using that as an excuse to justify my behavior. I think if a female is harassed or raped it's the male who has a serious problem that really has nothing to do with her clothes.

If it were all about clothes, no modestly-dressed woman would ever be harassed, but we know it happens.


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## mahdokht (Dec 2, 2002)

*


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## Greaseball (Feb 1, 2002)

An adult man who looks at teenage girls or thinks sexual thoughts about them is not committing a crime, but it's still his responsibility to make sure he doesn't go beyond just looking.

A girl can look very sexy and trendy and still be mostly covered. If she wore tight jeans, even jeans that covered her belly, and a form-fitting sweater, she would look very good and would appeal to men. If a girl is pretty, nothing can hide it. I think girls should be encouraged to embrace their good looks and not be ashamed of them.

More about thongs: I think I would rather my dd wear a thong and keep it covered than wear regular underwear and have them show. Sometimes kids who have to wear uniforms to school feel a sense of individuality and autonomy by wearing cute underwear, even if no one sees it. It's one part of their wardrobe they can have complete control over, if no one has to see it.

I think if my dd wanted to wear something that even I would not wear, I would ask her why. Like a crop top - I know that in the summer I am really uncomfortable in clothes that cover my belly. And since I am short, I do not look good in high-waisted pants. It could be that a kid who wants to show her belly just can't bear to have it covered in the heat. My dd just recently discovered her belly and always walks around with her shirt pulled up so she can play with her navel. It's possible that kids have non-sexual reasons for wanting to wear certain things. If my dd says "I want to look nice for men" or that she saw it on TV and that's why she wants it, perhaps it's time for one of those mother/daughter talks...

But I think when in doubt, I will assume the non-sexual meaning first.

Or maybe work out some compromise - like, no crop tops at school but you can wear them at home, or you can wear either the crop top or the low riders, but not both.

Of course, since she's only 18 months it's easy to talk about "all the stuff I'm going to do." Maybe when she's 5 or 6 I will see the situation in a completely different way! One just never knows...


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## Dot.mom (Nov 28, 2001)

I have two problems:

1) I'm buying dd (2 1/2yo) shorter dresses for the summer so she can learn how to negotiate a dress without tripping all over herself. Why do they all look so trashy???? Short dresses on little girls used to look cute and childlike. Now they are emblazoned with words like "Lover" and "Sexy" and have pseudo-tears and hole in strategic places. What happened to eyelet trim and a little flare at the bottom of the skirt to twirl?

2) Why is it "OK" to dress her to look like a streetwalker but not let her just wear a swim diaper at the public pool with no bathing suit?

It makes no sense


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## mahdokht (Dec 2, 2002)

*


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## Raven (Dec 15, 2001)

I am so glad this thread is here! I cant handle seeing little girls wearing mini skirts and strappy tops with glitter on them! Makes me sick!


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## Greaseball (Feb 1, 2002)

Just wondering...

...how would you all feel if a young boy wanted to wear Speedos, tight spandex shorts, a t-shirt that said "Hot Lover Man" or jeans that showed his underwear? (I'm not making this up; these clothes exist for grade-school age boys!)

I know they make Speedos for toddlers. I would be embarrassed to be seen with anyone of any age who was wearing one of those!


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## mahdokht (Dec 2, 2002)

*


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## Greaseball (Feb 1, 2002)

I have seen the Speedos in 2T size, and the baggy jeans that people like to wear halfway down their butt on kids age 6 to 8. I think spandex shorts are available for all ages, and t-shirts with stupid sayings (the same things you'd find written on the thongs) for grade school age as well.

I don't think as many people are as concerned though. It's the double standard again - when a boy dresses that way, people say "Oh, how cute, he looks just like his big brother" or "He's going to have the ladies flocking around him!" But when a girl does, people think it's "sick and wrong."


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

OK maybe sexy clothes don't force men to lust but it sure doesn't help them fight it off. call me old fasion but I feel we are our brothers keepers. I want my dd to help thier brothers by not leading them into lust and I excpect young men to help my dd (thier spiritual sisters) along by not expecting them to dress in a way that cheapens them and by covering themselves as well (I don't think it appropriate for men to run around without shirts on any more than it is appropriate for women.) I guess I expext everyone to do what is best for others even at the expense of fasion. so as for me and my daughters we will keep under cover.

And about Speedos -







SPEEDON'T!!







My neighbor mows his lawn in a speedo. eewwwww! He is tall with a pot belly and skinny pastey legs. yuck. Let me tell you. these things don't stir up any amount of lust in this girl. they are just nasty. They have thier place but in the suburban front laws of the midwest is not it. again i say


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## darlindeliasmom (Nov 19, 2001)

Please! You guys are ruining all my fond memories of all the really beautiful swimmer guys in college with their impossibly long legs and teeny tiny butts in teeny tiny speedos...

ugh! a middle-aged guy mowing his lawn in a speedo...


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## mamawanabe (Nov 12, 2002)

I'm totally with the posters who question what short skirts and glitter tub tops have to do with sexual availability. I sometimes wear short skirts and I am NOT sexually available. When did belly and theighs become sexual objects - they are belly and theighs, and me and my 5 year old daughters can expose them as much as we want.

I'm not going to not breast feed in public because some man might sexualize my mammory gland and lust for me. His problem not mine. Me and my daughters aren't going to cover our bellies and theighs because some man might lust for us.

I am very unhappy that that my daughters will grow up in a society that tells them that beauty (and a sexualized beauty) = power/happiness. But girls learned that in the fifties when they wore huge skirts. Message is same regardless of the clothes.

What I want is to protect my girls from this message. I wish I knew how to. My mom did all the right stuff (no barbies etc) and I still ended up all messed up (despite the fact I wear sweats 90% of the time). For example - of all my positive teacher evaluations, the one where the girl mentioned I was pretty made me happiest

In short, I think clothes is a scapegoat. We can dress our girls in the most conservative clothes and still watch them suffer for our culture's insistance on women's beauty as the most important attribute.


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## wombat (Nov 3, 2002)

This thread is really interesting to me. I've only been in the USA a year now so I'm not really familiar with the trends and attitudes. Some of this stuff is really surprising for me.

Speedos are a NO NO??? These are those little spandex underpant style swimmers, is that right? All boys wore them I was a kid (70s), if you wore shorts you were a hopeless dork, or must have had something to hide. And then it was a cultural thing - nowadays, the Italian and Greek boys wear speedos but the 'white' boys all wear baggy shorts. In Europe men wear Speedos. I always put it down to white boys being insecure and ashamed while latino men were more secure and confident about their bodies and sexuality.

Boys can't seriously swim in those baggy shorts can they? Isn't that why boys/men wear speedos for competition swimming? It's more comfortable, better suited for swimming, dry faster when you get out of the water? What about function here?

Hey lilyka, your poor potbellied, pastey legged neighbour may have just been trying to get more of a tan, to get rid of those pastey legs. He probably wasn't trying to be a sex symbol.


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## LunaMom (Aug 8, 2002)

I agree with wombat about Speedos - I grew up in the 70's, too, and all boys' swimsuits looked like that, so I don't see how dressing a little boy in one is equivalent to dressing a little girl in a sexy outfit. And as far as adults go, don't get me wrong, I would rather see a gorgeous, fit guy in one than a huge potbellied man, but if I say that anyone "shouldn't" wear them, that's the same as when men look at a woman with a less-than-Playboy-bunny-perfect body on a beach and say she has no right to wear her bikini. People can wear whatever they want - there's no law saying you can only wear revealing clothes if you have a certain kind of body. People are so conditioned to seeing only perfect bodies in movies and magazines that they develop this sick mentality that anyone who does not have a perfect body should be ashamed of it. The sad thing is, a lot of people are ashamed.

But I stick with my previous posts on this subject (back on topic here) - that "sexy" clothes for kids are just wrong. I don't think they necessarily invite sexual attention, I just think they are inappropriate because of the message they send to the kids who wear them (or even see them in stores) about what it means to be a girl, or to be attractive.


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## EnviroBecca (Jun 5, 2002)

Greaseball wrote:

Quote:

I think girls should be encouraged to embrace their good looks and not be ashamed of them.








Right on! I think it's important to have a choice of clothing styles available, so that everyone can wear what he or she finds comfortable and aesthetically pleasing, but I think those who choose "sexy" clothing should not be judged any more harshly than those who choose "nun" clothing. I'm really disappointed by the judgmental tone of many posts in this thread.

I wore short-shorts and halter tops (the kind that are a triangle of fabric w/strings that tie around neck and back) every summer of my childhood because those were PRACTICAL clothes in the heat. I see absolutely nothing wrong w/that. I began to wear tops w/more coverage during puberty because I felt that I now "had" to wear a bra or it would be indecent; I suffered many days of discomfort and heat rash because of this, and I don't think it was a positive thing at all!

For those of you who are annoyed by too-long boys' shorts: Have you considered buying girls' shorts? Some of them are available in colors that coordinate w/boys' shirts (or you could even let your boy wear pink shirts!) and have pockets.

For all of you who are unhappy w/the clothing selection in stores: Why not MAKE clothes for your kids? My mom did a lot of this, not because of modesty but because the stores in the '70s were packed w/yucky synthetic fibers and because I was always very thin for my height. It's pretty easy to cut a pattern one size for the length and another size for the width. I loved my custom-made clothes.


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## 1jooj (Apr 8, 2002)

I think we need to be concerned about not just the clothes, but the combined messages of the clothes, the TV, the games, the toys, the music.

Obviously, for reasons of religion, I would not allow tight, short or transparent clothing for a child of either sex. But that is neither here nor there.

Down the highway from my home, there were 2 unrelated incidents that have come under investigation. One of a 9yo boy having "sexual contact" with up to 13 young girls (I think from age 5 and up). Another of kindergarteners engaging in sexual conduct.

Now, I understand that sexual exploration and "playing doctor" and such are likely to occur when kids of both genders play together. That's old news. But the quote from the 9yo had to do with liking it when the little girls gave him love, or loving, or some such verbage.

There IS responsibility involved in letting a girl wear something that says "foxy," or "naughty," or whatever--because like it or not, a lot of the other kids out there are watching a lot of very young kids having sex on TV...and a lot of parents are pretending it's not there.

I won't place judgment on a person's clothing choices, nor would I ever place blame on a victim of sexual crimes (I have been there too). It's frightening, though, to think of how much time these tweens spend away from parental guidnace, and what can happen when they are out there.


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## Greaseball (Feb 1, 2002)

How does a 2-year-old child know who Britney Spears is? Maybe if someone doesn't want their kids to take an interest in pop culture (and the clothes that go with it) there should be a rule about no watching commercials. Maybe the parents could get rid of cable.

I don't think the media can be blamed for everything, but it does have more of an influence (even on me!) than people realize.

I have to admit though, I was a little shocked at some of the dancing I saw on American Juniors. (Not that I was really watching it, I mean! I was just too lazy to get up and turn it off!) I think the most talented kids could make singing and dancing like a kid look just fine. It's obvious the kids are not really that talented; that's why they copy others' voices and dancing.

I really think a lot can be said for just not exposing kids to stuff in the first place. Don't take them shopping in department stores; stick to kids' stores or catalogs. Or give them your old hand-me-downs from when you were that age. Where does a toddler get a Britney Spears CD? Her parents probably buy it for her and then complain about the child wanting to be like her. (Or the grandparents or someone else could have bought it for her.)

I don't think children intentionally seek this stuff out.

And also, especially for girls, the more people can tear down traditional gender roles of servitude to men and placing looks above all else and stuff like that, the less a girl is going to want to look like something a man would want to look at! If girls were encouraged to play in the mud, they would choose the clothes you can easily do that in.

I finally got a string bikini that fits!







And I decided against the matching one for DD, because I didn't think she would like the neck strap.


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## 1jooj (Apr 8, 2002)

Exactly--if I am choosing to be entertained by TV shows that glorify behavior I'd never condone IRL, to absentmindedly singing along to a tune about using people for sex, or adultery, or whatever, how can I wonder when my kid thinks it's normal and OK?

It's insidious, and so many of us are pretending it's not there, and that is what is letting it grow so strong. It's OK to be grossed out or disapprove, and good to discuss why.


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## wombat (Nov 3, 2002)

I really don't think it's the clothes that are the problem here. It's the society that places a value upon the clothes and upon the people wearing them. In Denmark, women office workers will sunbake topless in the city parks during their lunch hour. Are they displaying sexual availability? Definitely not, as I imagine many ignorant male tourists have discovered. They just really dislike strap marks and after a long, dark winter, they worship the sun.

Children are naked at the beach, even up to age 6,7... or else just wear swim bottoms. Are they sending a message of sexual availability. No, not in Denmark. Danish men can control themselves. (personal experience here, I was married to one) Actually they do 'look' and 'think' but they are too well socialised to ever say or act on those thoughts. Thoughts and fantasies are legal, it's when men act inappropriately on these thoughts, that problems arise. And that's what socialisation is all about. I must add I never once got 'wolf whistled' at in all my years in Denmark.

And lilyka, I once read an article about a middle aged man mowing his front lawn stark naked! You should be thankful yours is nice enough to wear Speedos







Although this is unusual, eccentric behaviour even by Danish standards.


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## Greaseball (Feb 1, 2002)

Quote:

Btw, do you actually have your old clothes from when you were a kid? I thought I was a packrat!!
Yep, I do, and my mother has baby clothes that HER mother wore! I am already starting a pile of dd's clothes that she can give to her kids. A lot of my clothes were handmade and people always ask where I got them. It's not stuff you see in stores, which is a shame.

Anyway...when did the belly become such an erotically charged zone? They used to black out the belly button in old Playboys. I think people don't like to see bellies today because the navel, the remnant of the umbilical cord, is a reminder that we all come out of a woman's body, that we are all born from woman, born from sex.

I also think that's why maternity clothing covers the belly even though that is so uncomfortable! That's why the next time around I want to be pregnant in the summer. I won't have to worry about finding winter coats and pants that will fit me, I can just wear my bikini!

I have no desire to cover up the proof that I have engaged in sexual intercourse. (Pregnant belly, that is.)


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## Greaseball (Feb 1, 2002)

It can be a hard choice sometimes. Now, all the college kids seem to be wearing stuff that is loose-fitting, like sweats, but that exposes the belly. And there is all this tight-fitting clothing that covers everything.

My high school had the most liberal dress code in the district. Its policy stated the navel had to be covered, while other schools say the whole belly has to be covered.

Now schools are saying that shoulders have to be covered, but only the girls. Is it another of those "too close to the breasts" rules?

At my high school, you could not show shoulders but you could show cleavage, and boys could go topless in the halls. I think if a student can't learn because someone's shoulders are showing, there's not much hope for them in the real world. How do they expect to get a job or drive a car if the sight of a shoulder can "distract them?"

I have to drive by several fraternities daily and I would be in a lot of trouble if I could not function in the presence of shoulders, nipples, navels and thighs.


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## megtell (Mar 18, 2003)

I always complain to the store managers. My dd is 11, and very young in these things. She's no longer wanting to wear Hanna, she mostly likes Gap and Old Navy.

Once I found a size small thong in the wash. I don't wear them, and haven't worn anything in a small in 5 years. I asked her if they were a friend's (she still loves Osh Kosh undies) and she said "Oh gross mom, none of my friends are like that". I almost called the moms but finally figured out they were from when we were on vacation and I was washing my CD's at a friend's house. They were hers.

I have always said "I refuse to turn my child into a ho for fashion" and argue the "pimping of our daughters" in letters to stores that feature "knock me up now" clothing for the pre teen set. You can be pretty, happy, fun and well dressed without ho-ing it up at 7.

Ugh. You hit a nerve with me I guess! LOL!!


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## Dot.mom (Nov 28, 2001)

There seem to be two issues:

!) How much skin is exposed (and on what body parts)

2) The actual cut and style of the clothing.

I personally don't care how much skin my dd has exposed (she's 2 1/2) and I think anyone who sees any part of her exposed skin in a sexual way has problems that no change of clothes can fix.

IMO it is the style of clothes for this age that is unappealing. A dress might cover her all the way up, but if it has glitter all over the chest and "SEXY" painted on in red, it gives HER (not the potential molester, but HER) the wrong message about her body.


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## Piglet68 (Apr 5, 2002)

well-said, dot.mom!!


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## mamagarden (May 25, 2003)

I couldn't agree more commericalism has gotten way out of hand.
It is so sad.


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

I think you have to take in to account individual children as well. My 6 year old niece is very tall and thin, and her 3 year old sister is just plain huge (40", 43#). Some things are adorable on the skinny one, but when the 3 year old puts them on, she looks like a kiddie porn star.









My sister was very young when my older niece was born (15), and I still remember her bringing home a sluttified version of a Catholic schoolgirl uniform for her then 18 month old daughter; A not-quite-diaper-covering plaid skirt with a gold chain and a shiny blouse with no buttons until half-way down. I threw a fit when I saw it, and finally won out with this argument: She'll only have ten or eleven years when she'll be cute in a jumper and turtleneck; average lifespan being 70-odd years, that gives her at least 40 years when she'll be out of the house, doing her own thing, and able to dress like a whore if she wants too. The skirt and blouse were returned the next day.

Interestingly enough, my sister is now a most vocal opponent of what she calls "molest my child" clothing. Her daughter is already very popular with the boys (she's very pretty), and my sister has no desire to be a grandparent before she hits 30. She searches through every clearance rack in the mall looking for non-hoochie clothing for her girls.

I think we need to write letters to people; make up petitions and send them to the buyers for major department stores & boutiques. If no one says anything, then this will just go on.


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## Greaseball (Feb 1, 2002)

Quote:

Some things are adorable on the skinny one, but when the 3 year old puts them on, she looks like a kiddie porn star.
I think, though, just to be fair to children with different body types, I won't restrict clothing based on that. I think if I have an overweight child and a skinny one, they can dress the same way without having to be told "You can't wear what your sister does or all your fat will hang out" or "Your bony shoulders will show if you wear that."

Same goes for breasts - I think if a flat-chested girl and a busty girl both want to wear something lowcut, either tell them both they can wear it or that they both can't.

I want to encourage girls to love their looks and body types, not to feel more self-conscious about them.


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

She's not fat, she's just not built like her toothpick sister.. they look ridiculous wearing each others clothes!

I am (at present) a fat person, and you honestly couldn't pay me enough to wear jeans that show my belly. I'm all for being proud of your body, and I love my curves, but some people shouldn't wear some things. I don't think that the latest fashion is for everyone!


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## mamaofthree (Jun 5, 2002)

I have slowly been reading the replys here for awhile. It took me some time to write again because I felt a little attacked.

Dot.mom great point and really what I was trying to say. My DD when she was little had loads of clothes that showed off her baby fat... BUT nothing like what is out there today. There is cute and then there is just weird. A child shouldn't be wearing clothes that say "sexy" or "brat" or whatever else they say on those shirts and dresses. I think I was trying to say... and it came out wrong... was that the clothing that is avalible for girls seems too mature.

I do believe there are things that adults do that aren't for kids to do. I don't personally drink alcohol, but if I did... just because I had a glass of wine or a beer does not maker it OK for a child to do it. Or driving a car... NOT OK for a 6 year old. Because I choose on occation to show off my belly, doesn't mean that a little girl should be going out in thong underwear, platform sandles and a tank top that says "Sexy". There is a difference... I am having a hard time finding the words to say what I mean, but there is and I think people kind of "know it".

Like I said my DD had CUTE!!! dresses that showed off her diapers, but they LOOKED like little kid clothes... does that make since? They didn't look like something that was made for an adult only really small.

Also it was brought up about kids having a say in what they wear... SURE!!! But like in somethings I have the "final" say. I feel lucky my DD doesn't want tops that say "sexy" or "Spoiled" and so on. She also likes her shorts to actually cover her butt. All of my kids have the final word in how they combine the clothing that they have (even if I have to bite my tongue!







:







) But I won't buy them something if it is to mature for them.

I am not sure if I made any more since this time... hopefully I did.

H


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## Greaseball (Feb 1, 2002)

I personally can't stand the diaper-revealing style! Not that I see anything sexual about it, I just don't think it looks good.

While I think there are things that adults can do but kids can't - a very, very limited number of things - I think it's always possible to find a compromise. Like maybe they can't drink alcohol, but the next day they can go out to their favorite restaurant and order whatever they want.








T
This is not about clothes, but has anyone noticed that adults often try to make babies' interactions with each other all about sexuality? People who have girls often hear comments about "Oh, the neighbors just had a boy, he can be a boyfriend for her!" Why can't they just be two babies who play together?

I saw this card where there were babies in a hospital nursery, with pacifiers, of course, and this baby boy is leaning over his crib saying to a baby girl "Hey, I know where I can get you some milk!" The girl is wearing makeup, BTW. Inside it said "Congratulations on the birth of your new ladies' man!" Disgusting, IMO.

What if it were reversed? Would anyone buy a card that said "Congratulations on your little hot mama?" or that showed a baby girl with boys all around her bringing her things that said "She's got the men working for her already!"


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## Greaseball (Feb 1, 2002)

I just see it as being fair. And I don't say everyone should do it, I do it because it's what works for my family. If it ever stops working, I'll stop doing it.

Luckily I don't drink alcohol.









More about clothes: Some people say it's not just the sexy clothes they don't like, but any clothes that look more like adult clothes. (Such as ties for boys or pearl necklaces for girls.)

I do like to buy some clothes that are just really obviously kids' clothes, with lots of bold patterns and bright colors. I got this one-piece long sleeved and long legged jumper for dd that has big horizontal red, yellow and purple stripes that's just great! Same thing with toys, I like buying classic things like balls, trucks and blocks.


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## rosebuds (May 23, 2003)

I sooooooo agree!

(I havent read other posts yet so hope I am not way off here!)

I cant stand all this animal print stuff, pleather, hooker boots (up to and past the knee, you know the ones). My 4 y/o old cousin was sportin a black laced t-shirt (boasting a nice big BARBIE logo no less) the other day and I am thinkin would I wear that in the bedroom???? What is up with that???

We never buy our kids clothes, the only grandchildren both sides so the relatives come bearing gifts for the girls all the time. I am not happy that it is mostly name brand stuff but atleast it is suitable for little girls.

Edited to add...
There is too much attention paid to what kids are wearing, so often the first thing people comment on is how cute a dress is, why cant they notice how polite they are, how clever they are, how much fun they are having etc. I have to admit that I was totally guilty of this until I realized the error of my ways. When dd#1 was about 2.5yrs. I often caught myself saying to her "Oh look how cute you are...go show Daddy how pretty you are in that dress, GASP!, did I say that??? Yuck, I stared watching my words much more closely. The last thing I want is for my dd's to think they are what they wear!


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## rosebuds (May 23, 2003)

Quote:

_








T
This is not about clothes, but has anyone noticed that adults often try to make babies' interactions with each other all about sexuality? People who have girls often hear comments about "Oh, the neighbors just had a boy, he can be a boyfriend for her!" Why can't they just be two babies who play together?

[/B]_
_
_
_
Again, I agree agree agree!!!

I see this all the time at baby circles...two babies lying beside each other and the mothers doting over them "Oh arent they cute together, they will make a beautiful couple some day" UGH! Or baby boys are often called 'flirts', "oh he is such a flirt" Excuse me he is only 8 months old what in the heck are you talking about???

Dont these mother realize what they are talking about?_


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## LunaMom (Aug 8, 2002)

I agree with mamaofthree - it's not the skin showing as much as it is the "adult" look of the clothes. I saw a two year old girl today wearing a midriff-baring ruffly blouse with little ladybugs on it and denim pants with ruffles at the hem, and a matching ladybug hat. She looked adorable. When I was little, in the 70's, I had lots of summer halter tops that showed my belly. It's the clothes that try to look sexy that are the problem.

And what is up with those damn words on little girls' clothing? especially "Princess" - I hope I'm not offending anyone here who buys this stuff, but it seems like every third article of clothing on a rack these days has the word "princess" on it. My daughter plays princess all the time, but the word has some negative connotations when used to describe girls sometimes, "Oh, she's such a princess" implies that the child is spoiled. JMHO. And don't even get me started on clothes that say "Spoiled."

On a funnier note, though, a good friend of mine bought a shirt for her SON that she found in the girls' section - it would have been obnoxious on a girl, but it is too cute on a boy. It has a picture of a stick-figure face with an open mouth, like it is growling, and it says "Boys are scary" on it!


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## Greaseball (Feb 1, 2002)

I think it's so much more about clothes and how much skin they show...my dd has a tight-fitting spaghetti strap tank top that does have some glitter on it, but flowers instead of words, and she most definitely does not look "like a whore"! She looks sunny and cute! Real whores nowadays just wear jeans and sweatshirts, but you can tell they are whores right when you look at them. I think it's all about the energy that surrounds the situation. If a kid is raised to think she has to be sexy, or that the most important thing is her body, you can tell something is wrong just by being around her, no matter what she is wearing.


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