# 3 year old won't sleep without light on



## loving-my-babies (Apr 2, 2004)

my daughter left our FB about a month ago, and decided it was time to start sleeping in her own room (her own bed) but if we turn the light off after she's fallen asleep, she'll wake up screaming. If we leave the light on, she will sleep all night. I am concerned as to why she is waking up afraid. maybe she's afraid of the dark, but it's EVERY NIGHT. so we've been letting her sleep with her light on. her room is across from ours (and ofcourse we don't close her door or ours) so basically, we're all sleeping with a light on! (I can see the light from where I'm sleeping)

do you think it's ok to continue to do this? can having the light on affect her sleep?


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## Beansmom (May 26, 2004)

I slept with a light on for a long time. I don't remember what age I was when I stopped, maybe 9-10 yrs old I think. My parents bought a lamp with a dim setting, so it wasn't as bright as having the overhead light on, but brighter than a night light. Maybe you could do something like that so it isn't so bright. I don't think it effected my sleep. I don't really remember why I needed the light on, I guess I just felt better with it on.


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## Al Dente (Jan 8, 2004)

Beansmom mentioned a dimmer, but have you tried a nightlight yet? That might be a good alternative for her and they're cheap if it doesn't work out. I slept with a nightlight until I went to college! (Now I can't sleep with ANY lights on:LOL) I don't think sleeping with the light on is bad for her, and I don't think it's some larger issue as to why she is afraid. I think the light on makes her feel secure and comforted so that's probably why she likes it.

(Have you tried a big bear? That helped me too







)


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## loving-my-babies (Apr 2, 2004)

a night light is too dark for her, but the dimmer idea is a good one


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## jacksmama (Sep 19, 2003)

I always had a night light on all while growing up. But you know, it was never bright enough for me. I hated it and always wanted a light on. I didn't want the overhead light on, but the dim light of a table lamp. Don't ask why, I just felt safer. I liked to be in control of my surroundings as a child (still do) and I think that the light made me feel like I was...like I was the queen of all I surveryed...but you can't survey much in the dark!


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## TigerTail (Dec 22, 2002)

i think there have been studies showing light at night can lead to myopia (god knows my dh, who still sleeps with a light on- seperate bedroom, thank god- is blind as a bat.) so i have concerns.

we have a dimmer switch, & an aquarium with a light (we had a *darling* nightlight, but the baby is way too interested in it) & it starts out a lot brighter than it ends up... i nurse my 3 yr old at my bedtime, to help him get thru the night, & if he was mumbling about how it got darker i pointed out how i could still read the words on his bedspread than it must still be pretty bright, huh? kind of talking him down gently seems to have calmed him down.

not sure exactly what he's afraid of, but he has a big imagination & with me 10 ft away across the hall he never has to *stay* scared... i think when they realize that they won't have to lie there terrified & alone, it helps them calm themselves down a lot. no escalation into hysteria that way. gentle and soothing and putting the light gradually darker and darker (till it's off when i pick up the baby to nurse at 4 or 5, except for the aquarium) is working around here.

good luck, suse


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## momoen1 (May 12, 2004)

My son who is now 4 about to be 5 has/had this same problem. I would say it started at about age 3. A night light just wasn't bright enough. He wanted the over head light on. If we turned it off after he fell asleep and he woke up. He would literally run out of his room crying as if someone was chasing him so I would definitely say he was scared, but I am the same way. I'm not sure if you would say I am scared of the dark. It's not the dark that scares me; it's the fact that I cannot see what might be in the dark. I know it's irrational, but it really doesn't matter. When I was a kid and I would wake up in the middle of the night I would go and sleep on the floor in my parent's room (they wouldn't let me or my sister get in bed with them). Since I know how it feels, I just let him have the light on. If it helps him to feel safe, I'm not going to make him be in the dark. Recently, he has been okay with just a desk lamp with a very low watt bulb in it. I really didn't have any advice, but I thought I would let you know that there is another child that is the same way.

Mona


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## sincitymama (Sep 20, 2003)

Well I'm 23 and I still prefer a nightlight when I'm geting used to sleeping in a new room. Bathroom light with the door almost shut at hotels, that sort of thing. It takes a while for a space to feel like it's mine, and comfortable, and I could maneuver around in hte dark if needed. So I wouldn't worry.


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## clothcrazymom (Sep 13, 2003)

If the night light is too dim....could you try leaving a closet light on? Or maybe a bathroom or hall light? We did this with our daughter and then sortof weaned her down to a very dim night light.


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## annethcz (Apr 1, 2004)

I don't have a link to the study, but the study the PP mentioned found a correllation between myopia and sleeping with the light on as a child- that is not the same as a cause & effect relationship.

My 4 yo DS was the same way at age 3. And now he continues to go to sleep with the light on most nights. What we've done is put a small lamp on his dresser, instead of the bright overhead light. A nightlight was not light enough for him. Most nights, I turn off the light when I go to bed. And he's now at the point where he doesn't freak out if he wakes up in the middle of the night in a dark room.

I also wanted to mention that our bedroom is across the hall from DS's, and I also dealt with the issue of his light making our room bright. Although I didn't like doing this, we started sleeping with our bedroom doors opened just a crack. I slept MUCH better when my room was dark again.


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