# Teenage trick or treaters



## quietplease (Nov 28, 2001)

I think more than half of the kids who came to our door tonight were 12-15 years old. Some wore costumes, a few not; none were snarky, rude, or threatening. I really think that no matter how fast our culture wants kids to grow up, many teens want to stay kids for awhile. I was happy to give them candy. Anybody else see them as big kids clinging to a happy childhood tradition?


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## elsie (Apr 5, 2005)

About half the kids who came to my house looked to be young teenagers without costumes. Some might have had younger siblings, but I feel anyone who asks for candy can have some. None were at all rude.


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## twindaze (Aug 13, 2002)

I never get why people get so bothered by teens trick or treating. They need to make some attempt at a costume though. I last Trick or treated when I was 14.


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## Amylcd (Jun 16, 2005)

Not me. I took the kids trick-or-treating today, and all the teens I came in contact with were very rude, crowding in front of the little kids, etc. I'm still p/o'd over it.


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## mamajama (Oct 12, 2002)

I think it's cute.








Some of them may even act all tough and like they're "getting away with something" but they (like everyone else) just want some lovin' too. It's important to show them that there is still some kindness left in this scary world.


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## Mrs Dimples (Apr 17, 2004)

I went trick-or-treating until I was 14 and I didn't feel weird about it at all. I didn't feel comfortable going the next year, so I didn't.

If big trick-or-treaters come to my door, they get candy same as everyone else. If they're snotty because I didn't give them enough, then they get a swift kick in the pants, same as anyone else who is rude whilst begging for candy.


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## Sweeney (Sep 8, 2003)

We had alot of non-dressed up teens too. As long as they're nice I don't mind at all giving them candy- but DH always makes them tell him what they 'are' before he'll hand anything over. We had one girl tonight (maybe about 14?) who came up with three different costumes depending on how she wore her sweatshirt- it was hysterical!

Best costume we've seen at our door was two years ago- a teenage boy dressed up as a traffic cone. His friend was with him as "Captain Silverpants" and had to do all the talking for him. Very funny! But I have to say my ultimate favorite costume was the giant tentacle at an AnimeCon this year.


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## twindaze (Aug 13, 2002)

I didn't really see too many here, I didnt' hand out candy though, my dh did that and I took the kids around.

I get annoyed at how many people take their kids out with both parents and then don't pass out candy, particularly if they do this every year. We'd love to both go out with them but it seems wrong to go collect candy if we don't hand it out.


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## MamaMonica (Sep 22, 2002)

We had a lot of teens, too. They were polite, but some of the costumes were a bit scary.


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## tayndrewsmama (May 25, 2004)

We ended up on a street that was largely older kids tonight. The second house we went to, dd and ds marched up and said trick-or-treat and the guy said wow, I haven't heard that in 20 minutes, no please, no thanks, no nothing. This was a very busy street, so that was a ton of kids that were, IMO, pretty rude.

My mom works with a guy who told her how they handle the older kids. 1. If they don't say anything, neither does he. They get nothing. 2. If they do say trick-or-treat, he says trick please. If they don't have a trick, he takes candy from them.







: I love that. I guess some areas have more rude older kids that trick-or-treat.


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## PoppyMama (Jul 1, 2004)

That's mean.

I trick or treated until I was 14 and then started borrowing a kid to take until I had my own- she was 6 months old her first halloween. I love to take my two now and have almost as much fun as they do. I'm a single mom though so I do take them out but don't always hand out candy (depends what time I get off work).


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## tayndrewsmama (May 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PoppyMama*
That's mean.

So is stealing candy from little kids, running them over, emptying the whole bucket when it says "take one please", etc... like I said, I guess some neighborhoods have kids that are more rude than others.


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## MamaHippo (Dec 4, 2004)

I am also a bit Po'd about teenagers TOTing. I took DS, 15 mo, and his cousins, ages 21 mo, 3 1/2, and 6, out TOTing tonight. A couple houses had baskets of candy on the porch and a sign that said "Please take ONE". I told our kids 'Just take one, guys,' and they were being so polite and just took one piece each. But there was a group of teenage girls behind us, and they shoved in front of the 3 yr old who was taking his time finding a piece he liked, and practically knocked him over as they took 3 HANDFULLS each. They were rude to the people who opened doors, never saying thank you. They tromped right thru people's plants and gardens too. Not a good example for the little ones behind them. Some boys were scaring my 21 mo nephew.
I dont have a problem with teens TOTing as long as they are polite and dont take advantage of other kids or other people.

Lisa


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## calicokatt (Mar 14, 2005)

I make 'em say trick or treat, and harass them if they don't have a costume (in a teasing way, not mean). I met a few tonight who not only didn't have costumes, they didn't even have a candy bag!! One of them told me he was eating it as he went!







I give candy to anyone who comes to the door and asks, and around here, they're pretty polite.


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## PoppyMama (Jul 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tayndrewsmama*
So is stealing candy from little kids, running them over, emptying the whole bucket when it says "take one please", etc... like I said, I guess some neighborhoods have kids that are more rude than others.









So form a patrol and watch over the littler kids- but being really mean to all older kids because some are rude and horrible is being just as bad.....actually worse cause he's an adult.


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## tayndrewsmama (May 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PoppyMama*
So form a patrol and watch over the littler kids- but being really mean to all older kids because some are rude and horrible is being just as bad.....actually worse cause he's an adult.

Wow, I guess you didn't actually read my post then. Where did is say he was mean to all kids? BTW, did you know that the trick part was orginally a real part of TOTing?

Oh yeah, I am not going to bother forming a patrol over them, that's what their freaking parents should have done before they starting acting like that in the first place.

ETA: Oops, I misread that about who to patrol over. IMO, saying it that way is just a cover for patroling that rude ones. The little kids aren't out alone.


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## oldcrunchymom (Jun 26, 2002)

I was impressed with the teens we saw tonight. They were all in costume and seemed just as excited to be out TOTing as the little ones. I don't mind when teens TOT as long as they wear a costume and are polite. For some reason it really bugs me when they don't bother to wear costumes.


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## PoppyMama (Jul 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tayndrewsmama*
My mom works with a guy who told her how they handle the older kids. 1. If they don't say anything, neither does he. They get nothing. 2. If they do say trick-or-treat, he says trick please. If they don't have a trick, he takes candy from them.







: I love that. I guess some areas have more rude older kids that trick-or-treat.

It doesn't say that he knows who the mean ones are when they knock on the door it says that when they say trick or treat he asks for a trick which none of the kids understand much anymore and then he takes candy from them. That's ridiculous and mean. Would he rather they were out for the tricks and not the treats? I might want to get in on some TP action for his house. Some guy asked my son for a trick tonight and my son had no idea- finally told the guy "trick or treat eat my feet" and the guy was satisfied.


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## tayndrewsmama (May 25, 2004)

Ok, so you don't agree with what he does. I am not gonna fight with you about it.


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## mamajama (Oct 12, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tayndrewsmama*

2. If they do say trick-or-treat, he says trick please. If they don't have a trick, he takes candy from them.







: I love that. I guess some areas have more rude older kids that trick-or-treat.

Yipes!! Not too smart to ask for a trick. You know that if you don't hand out treats to appease the mischeivous spirits, some pretty nasty things can happen to your home. (Toilet paper, rotten eggs...







)


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## SpiralWoman (Jul 2, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamajama*
Yipes!! Not too smart to ask for a trick. You know that if you don't hand out treats to appease the mischeivous spirits, some pretty nasty things can happen to your home. (Toilet paper, rotten eggs...







)









yep, this is the "trick part" most people don't get! My dad used to ask kids for a trick too, dumba$$. JMHO. About my dad. Moving on...

We took our 2.5 yr old this year & he loved it! We just went in one little circle that will be our new neighborhood when our house is finished being built. We also gave pieces of candy with a note attached that said "from your future neighbor" & most people were genuinely happy when we gave it to them. Next year we will have to split up & 1 stay home to bribe the little devils & 1 to take DS, but this year we had a blast both being with him. (He was Captn Feathersword & we were his maties btw)

There were kids of all ages & the older kids seemed pretty hyped up, but keeping it in check, yk? If any of them had been ridiculous, I wouldn't hesitate to offer them some guidance as in "Hey don't push in front of that little kid, hey it says just one" but then I am a loud mouth! What really buggd me was when a mom kept sending her 3 yr old to the door alone & hollering at him from the yard (while she smoked) "Ring the bell!" "say thank you" "hurry up, get down here"







: That was a buzz kill & we had to slow down to get away from them, poor kid. I was torn between wanting to take care of him myself & wanting to have a good time with my ds, yk?

Anyway, happy halloween to all & hope you all appeased to spirits well! ~Maria


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## Jennifer Z (Sep 15, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *twindaze*
I get annoyed at how many people take their kids out with both parents and then don't pass out candy, particularly if they do this every year. We'd love to both go out with them but it seems wrong to go collect candy if we don't hand it out.

That never occured to me. In my experience, the people handing out the candy are either pre-kids, or their oldest is very young, or they have grown kids, or they are without children at all. Going with your kids to ToT seems like is such a short time in the span of your life, I wouldn't want to miss it. If I were you, I wouldn't stay home and miss it. Just know that you will have many more years post-kids to "pay it forward" when other families are out together.


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## mommyoftwo (Apr 6, 2004)

Wow I feel so lucky. We live in such a great little neighborhood. We had tons of trick or treaters. A lot of them were probably over 12 but they were all incredibly polite. There were so sweet to my dd who was passing out candy. Last year we weren't home so we left the bowl and surprisingly, there was still candy at the end of the night.

I don't mind the lack of costume. There are teenagers who want to look cool and be grown up but still want to act like kids. It is such a hard and conflicting age. I just love to see them having fun.

Our neighborhood has an 8:30 curfew which worked out perfectly with my kids' bedtimes.


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## HomeBirthMommy (Mar 15, 2003)

We both take our kids-it's not fair for one of us to miss seeing that. We leave a big bowl of candy out with a sign that says "Happy Halloween! Please take two candies and enjoy.". I was surprised that there was still a lot left after we got back.

As far as teens go-we had very polite teens in this neighborhood. In our old house, it was just down right scary. Some of the "kids" were nearly as old as we were and were soooo rude. One actually asked us "is this all you have?". And one time a teen stood on our front porch smoking







: . They came in large groups and it was kind of scary. We ended up making plans to be elsewhere Halloween night in that neighborhood, primarily b/c of the teen issue. BTW-these are older teens I'm talking about, probably 15-18, none had costumes except the occasional disgusting mask. Usually the younger teens were polite.


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## DaryLLL (Aug 12, 2002)

My kids are 19, 17 and 14. My 19 yo no longer lives at home.

Last yr she did and she and her bf, also 18, and my 2 other kids and their friend who was 14, went out. The girls wore costumes. The boys didn't, except my ds wore a namtag that said Sanchez.

This yr my 2 at home kids and the friend went out again. The girls wore creative costumes and ds wore a nametag that said Tyrese.

I am sure they were polite, as they always were when dh or I used to take them out. I don't know why they would be rude.

I would rather they were out getting chocolate than at an unsupervised party drinking alcohol and smoking pot, you know?

We had a couple other groups of teens who were nice and polite and chatty and wished us a Merry Hanukah and Happy Christmas as well as Happy Halloween. Teenagers are so funny.


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## delphine (Aug 12, 2003)

My husband works evenings, so my mother and I took my boys TOT. I made up goodie bags and left them in a box on the porch with a sign that said, "Out trick or treating, please take one". DS and I made up the bags together and he decorated the box with Halloween scrapbooking paper and stickers, so it was a fun activity for us. I had made 100 gift bags and there were none left when we got home. However, my parents live in the same neighborhood and my dad stayed home to give out candy at their house, and he said they had at least 200 kids come by, so I guess I underestimated.

Regarding the older kids, in general last night, they were all polite. I noticed a few trampling through yards and across flower beds, but I think that was more out of excitement than rudeness. If we saw a group of older kids heading toward a house where we were going, we just let them go first, as we were pretty slow.

Our worst experience last night was with the parents waiting on the sidewalks for thier kids. One man had a dog on a leash that lunged at DS when we passed by. Several others were standing in the sidewalk smoking. I have a bigger problem with that than with the teens.


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## QueeTheBean (Aug 6, 2002)

I don't mind if teens come in costumes, but we had gangs of teens last night with no costumes & who never said T.O.T or thank you. I think it is totally rude, but gave out candy anyway.

Then, when I was taking my kids around, there was another big group of teens (uncostumed) who threw a firecracker from one side of the street to the other! It landed in someone's front yard & would have hit us if we had been a few steps further up. I was very p.o., but was afraid to say anything in fear of them doing something back to us . . .









My kids had fun, regardless . . .


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## CookieMonsterMommy (Oct 15, 2002)

I went trick-or-treating till I was 16, but always in costume.









We gave candy to all last night, but no costume meant one candy only.

No "Trick-or-Treat"? No candy. I'd just stand there with the bowl, waiting. They all caught on.









My mother still calls anyone who appears to be older than 12 a "gork". Oh well.


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## BlueStateMama (Apr 12, 2004)

Quote:

I don't mind if teens come in costumes, but we had gangs of teens last night with no costumes & who never said T.O.T or thank you. I think it is totally rude, but gave out candy anyway.
Yeah, that's my take too. There were way too many teens out last night without costumes. As I've said before, they're "too cool" to dress up, but still want free candy.







I still give it to them, but I'm not pleased that the parents let them do it. Oh well, to each their own, I guess.

I do have a big problem with ringing the bell after your lights are off. Our ToT time in our town was 5-7. Personally, I thought 7 was too early, bigger kids don't even go out until 6ish and an hour is too short. I cut them some slack and kept the lights on, handing out candy until 8. I turned off the lights at 8, we were trying to get DS (2) into bath/bed and the baby was already asleep. Two groups still came up to our (dark) house and rang the bell. I wish parents would tell their kids - "no lights = stay away."

About the leaving your house thing - we took DS around right at 5 for about a half hour (just to the neighbors.) I left a bucket of candy with a friendly note to take one, explaining we were taking our giraffe and our strawberry around the neighborhood and would be back shortly. Worked well for us!


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

I love TOTers of any age-- I prefer to see them in costume. Although, I give anyone candy. i don't mind at all. I love seeing that. I love the parents all dressed up as well. It's so fun. My 13 yr old took her sibs around the neighborhood- she was dressed up as were all the teens in the neighborhood. I love halloween. I don't dress up, but i love my Jack-o-laterns, my little decorations, and I enjoy passing out candy. Our neighborhood is smallish and we never get more than 40 kids.

When I lived in the city, in a neighborhood of one family homes close together, we got hundreds of kids. I often shut my light off about 9:00 and that was never a problem. When we lived in that nieghborhood, people would sit on their porches & yak, have a beer, and hand out candy. That was a great little community.


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## Elowyn (Nov 3, 2003)

The kids here were great. All with "trick-or-treat" and multiple thank-yous. Very cute, even the teenagers. I don't mind giving the teenagers candy, as long as they're polite & not messing with the little kids (which none of these seemed to be.)


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## Dar (Apr 12, 2002)

:::sigh::: I opened this thread hoping that it wouldn't be full of nastiness about how horrible teens are, but I guess that was hoping for too much. Gee, when people give teens such a hard time, does it really surprise them that the teens act out?

Rain (12) went ToTing with two friends, who are 12 and 13... but all three of them could easily pass for 18. They look old. She said they had a good time, but they did get asked a *lot* if they weren't too old to go ToTing. They perfected clever responses - Rain did a great impression of a 3 year old, stamping her foot and holding up 3 fingers saying, "I'm *this* many!". It probably irked me more than it irked them, to be honest, because I have issues about people assuming she's older than she is. Still, it wasn't kind. They were all excited and had great costumes, compared to most of the store-bought ones out there. I'm sure they were polite, and I'm glad no one gave them a really hard time. Those big kids are someone's babies, just like the little ones out there...

dar


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## ceilydhmama (Mar 31, 2003)

We had lots too. My fav were two girls who were *not* dressed up but claimed to be 4-year olds dressed as cute teenagers









The other on I enjoyed was an entire extended family. Apparently they were new imigrants who decided to get into the spirit 2 little kids, 1 teen, mum, dad, grandma and grandpa - all had great homemade costumes and ALL of them had pillow cases for candy. The kids could say "trick-or-treat" but the adults stumbled a bit


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## shanleysmama (Mar 9, 2002)

About 50% of our trick or treaters last night were teens. They were all dressed up and having a good time. They could be doing worse stuff, ya know?


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## CookieMonsterMommy (Oct 15, 2002)

That stinks, Dar.

I can honestly say I had more "problems" with ToTers who were under age 10, as far as not saying thank you or just being rude (Saying to ds, Your costume is dumb! Couldn't your mommy _buy_ you a better one?







: )

I would have given your DD a nice handful if she had a creative costume, whether she was 8 or 18.









kelly


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dar*
Rain (12) went ToTing with two friends, who are 12 and 13... but all three of them could easily pass for 18. They look old. She said they had a good time, but they did get asked a *lot* if they weren't too old to go ToTing. They perfected clever responses - Rain did a great impression of a 3 year old, stamping her foot and holding up 3 fingers saying, "I'm *this* many!".
gave them a really hard time. Those big kids are someone's babies, just like the little ones out there...

dar

LOL Good for Rain.

My 13 yr old has no idea anyone would think her 'too old'. She sewed a tail for her Demon costume







and was very excited. She had little green horns and a green tail, with fangs and green clothes. My 13 yr old is still very much interested in TOT and dressing up.

I think a lot of people with small children think 13 or 16 is 'all grown up".

Just reading some of the posts about what people expect from 2 yr olds "he knows better!" and 4 yr olds "I know she's too big to be doing that!" and you can see how many would consider these young teens 'too old' for TOTing fun and dressing up. I mean do people really these kids should just sit at home and watch TV or something rather than OMG! have a little child-like fun!

Not to mention those who would think my little sweetie in a homemade demon costume was a devil -worshipper.









I was happy to see in this thread that many people do enjoy the teens. I was expecting fewer of those, so it's nice to know there are others who respect that teens waffle between childhood and young adulthood.


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## sophmama (Sep 11, 2004)

There were quite a few more teens out in my MIL's neighborhood last night where we went. Some were polite and some were rude.

OT - my dd was dressed as a doctor and several men thought she was a cute 'nurse'







: and one woman said she was a cute 'surgeon'. My dh said to me (jokingly) the men were sexist pigs







as we left their driveways.


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## tayndrewsmama (May 25, 2004)

I kind of get the feeling that some people are confusing or misunderstanding the fact that the disappointment in teen TOT's is with the ones that are rude, not every single one of them.


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## sophmama (Sep 11, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ceilydhmama*
We had lots too. My fav were two girls who were *not* dressed up but claimed to be 4-year olds dressed as cute teenagers









The other on I enjoyed was an entire extended family. Apparently they were new imigrants who decided to get into the spirit 2 little kids, 1 teen, mum, dad, grandma and grandpa - all had great homemade costumes and ALL of them had pillow cases for candy. The kids could say "trick-or-treat" but the adults stumbled a bit





































That's cute!!


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sophmama*
OT - my dd was dressed as a doctor and several men thought she was a cute 'nurse'







: and one woman said she was a cute 'surgeon'. My dh said to me (jokingly) the men were sexist pigs







as we left their driveways.


Nice. Get some candy, insult some people. half the time i can't tell what kids are supposed to be. In that case, i don;t even try to guess. Just enjoy.


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## Debstmomy (Jun 1, 2004)

This year was the first that I remember, where I did not see alot of teen TOT. The handful that I did see were dressed to the nines! One was dressed like a woman, had on his Moms dress, wig, make up, jewlery & even sandals! Poor guy, his feet were killing him!!!! LOL!!!







:

I do have to say I do not like it at all when teens do not dress & ring your door bell & expect candy. I have done the "trick" & taken candy out of their bag when they cam to my door. They loved it! Thought it was funny. I will let my kids TOT as long as they want as long as they dress & act appropriately & are very polite.


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ceilydhmama*
We had lots too. My fav were two girls who were *not* dressed up but claimed to be 4-year olds dressed as cute teenagers


















Now that's clever. Thinking outside the box they were.


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

Why are people so upset about kids not saying 'thank you'? I think it's rare, but who cares. If you ask about their costumes, most kids will reply. If a person shows interest, a child who isn't shy is going to reply in some way.


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## CookieMonsterMommy (Oct 15, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *UUMom*
Why are people so upset about kids not saying 'thank you'? I think it's rare, but who cares.

because to be honest, I think it's reasonable to expect appreciation for giving someone something that you were under no obligation to give them.

And it wasn't very rare here. I didn't demand it or ask for it ("now what do you say?"), but it would have been nice to hear it. Especially with what I spent on candy... Why not say thank you?


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## tayndrewsmama (May 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *UUMom*
Why are people so upset about kids not saying 'thank you'? I think it's rare, but who cares. If you ask about their costumes, most kids will reply. If a person shows interest, a child who isn't shy is going to reply in some way.

Oh wow! Seriously, I think it's just the beginning of people having this sense of entitlement to anything they want. I think it's rude as hell not to say thank you, especially the older you are. But hey, that's just my opinion. You can bet your butt that my kids say it, and they are only 4 and 2.


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## RubyWild (Apr 7, 2004)

I don't mind teenaged trick-or-treaters, so long as they have a very good costume. I do think it's pretty rude how many people were trick-or-treating with babies who don't even have teeth yet! I'm not talking about siblings tagging along, but lots of parents taking babies only around. I think a child should be old enough to eat the candy, which would be a minimum of 3 years, I'm thinking as so many candies are choking hazards.


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## CookieMonsterMommy (Oct 15, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RubyWild*
I do think it's pretty rude how many people were trick-or-treating with babies who don't even have teeth yet! I'm not talking about siblings tagging along, but lots of parents taking babies only around.

Wow. That's sad you see it that way. I took ds when he was 7 months old, and it was all about showing him off to the neighborhood. We got a few snotty comments, but most loved the little bee outfit. If someone would have said "Very cute costume! I can't give a baby candy, but thanks for stopping by!" I wouldn't have cared, as long as they weren't rude.

The candy (minus literally maybe 4 or 5 bars) went right back out to the ToTers that came to our house--they got the stuff we bought, plus my son's stuff.

Your take on it seems pretty mean spirited.

Halloween is about more than candy, you know. It's a great time to hang out with friends, get some good photos, go for a nice walk, see lots of different costumes, show your creative side, etc. The candy, IMO is just a bonus. when I talk to most kids (from 3-16), they're most excited about their cool costume than the candy. Shoot-you can buy a bag of candy for $3 and save the trouble.

Kelly

We gave the real little ones pretzels this year.


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

Why people upset themselves so about halloween, I'll never know.

If you're gonna stew over babies in cute costumes, and a couple of teens here and there who forget to say thank you save the energy, and don't participate.

I love seeing the babies dressed as pumpkins etc One parent had the in a baby in a Bjorn, dressed as a lion. It was the freaking cutest thing. My pleasure was worth a couple of twizzlers. If all the parents with babies stayed home, I'd miss it all. I couldn't bring myself to care about soemthing that petty. "That parent wants the candy all for themselves!" And?







Like you think that parent didn't hand out candy at their house, or couldn;t have bought their own candy. It's fun to show off the babies! They are cute!

Thank you is fine, but sometimes it's just mimicry and doesn't mean anything. A teen who talks to you is better, imo.

Enjoy it and don't get so worked up.


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## tayndrewsmama (May 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RubyWild*
I don't mind teenaged trick-or-treaters, so long as they have a very good costume. I do think it's pretty rude how many people were trick-or-treating with babies who don't even have teeth yet! I'm not talking about siblings tagging along, but lots of parents taking babies only around. I think a child should be old enough to eat the candy, which would be a minimum of 3 years, I'm thinking as so many candies are choking hazards.









I don't hardly think that's something to get so upset about. I guess I don't understand how a baby in a costume is rude though. Hey, I feel ill at the sight of formula feeders, but I don't consider it rude. It's not my business. Besides, I highly doubt that baby is shoving it down later that night either. I think it's cute. We did it with dd and ds so the neighbors could see them dressed up, but we still said TOT, please and thank you!


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## mamadege5 (Jan 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RubyWild*
I don't mind teenaged trick-or-treaters, so long as they have a very good costume. I do think it's pretty rude how many people were trick-or-treating with babies who don't even have teeth yet! I'm not talking about siblings tagging along, but lots of parents taking babies only around. I think a child should be old enough to eat the candy, which would be a minimum of 3 years, I'm thinking as so many candies are choking hazards.

DH and I took our devil, I mean 15 mos old torting. All the older kids had gone with friends, and as someone said it was about showing her off to the neighbors. They all thought she was really cute, she even picked out a piece and put it in her own bucket. She was most excited about the lights, the pumpkins and the neighbors dog who licked the pretzel she was holding.

One passing mom said "aw are you going to actually eat that candy?" DH said "no, but her 4 brothers and sisters will" Score one for DH!!

(DD did have some m&m's and candy corn)


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## ceilydhmama (Mar 31, 2003)

I'm pretty much happy to see anyone show up in any state of costume. I especially like all the versions of "trick-or-treat smell my feet ..." we heard.
The Canadian version:
"Trick-or-Treat, smell my feet give me something good to eat. Not to big not to small - just the size of Montreal!"
The preschooler version:
"Trick-or-Treat, smell my feet give me something good to eat.
If you don't I don't care - I'll pull down your underwear"






























Halloween is supposed to have a mix of fun, spookey, scary I think teens definately have a role - as we all do


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## starfairy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *quietplease*
Anybody else see them as big kids clinging to a happy childhood tradition?

Not quite







: 75% of the trick or treaters in our area were teenagers. skanky looking girls, a hooded klu klux klan figure, a huge penis & a parade of boys in thongs. Their parents should be flogged. Ruined my night!
Clinging to a childhood tradition? Not quite. And dont get me wrong - my oldest is a teen! She is also the perfect child & wouldnt dream of doing such things! She stayed home, dressed up & went out with us!


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## CookieMonsterMommy (Oct 15, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *starfairy*
Clinging to a childhood tradition? Not quite. And dont get me wrong - my oldest is a teen! *She is also the perfect child* & wouldnt dream of doing such things!

Ummm....yeah.









I'd have laughed at the giant penis and showed ds--as long as he wasn't being "vulgar" about it. Same with the boys in thongs.









And skanky looking girls? Ugh....thanks for the contribution to this conversation.

Kelly


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## starfairy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CookieMonsterMommy*
Ummm....yeah.









I'd have laughed at the giant penis and showed ds--as long as he wasn't being "vulgar" about it. Same with the boys in thongs.









And skanky looking girls? Ugh....thanks for the contribution to this conversation.

Kelly

Um, yeah - i think I have a right to be proud of my dd (of course she isn't perfect, but she didn't wear a KK costume or dress like a prostitute either ...)

sorry, i cant post unless i get your okay...









BTW, the boys in thongs danced in front of our car & one of them pulled his down. maybe you enjoy that for your kids, I dont...


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## CookieMonsterMommy (Oct 15, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *starfairy*
sorry, i cant post unless i get your okay...









what???

And what's wrong with dressing like a prostitute?


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## simple gifts (Feb 27, 2003)

My 12 yo went out. He is about 5'10", so he looks pretty old, but he still loves to go out. He went with some friends, and I worried that people would give them a hard time, but he said most people were fine.

My two girls are teens, so we had a ton of teen TOTers. They don't bother me, just like my own don't bother me.

We also had a baby cow who was about 5 months old, and the cutest one I saw all night.









My three year old stayed home and handed out candy. I hate Halloween personally. I buy a ton of candy, and my kids dress and go out, but I don't decorate, and I for sure don't encourage. The three year old never asked to go, didn't seem to enter his mind that he could. He had a great time answering the door and looking at the costumes. The mother of a friend of my teens brought him a baggie with some little toys and a couple of candys, and he was in heaven.

To me, he is just the worst age, too young to really appreciate dressing up, to old to take the candy away from. It worked out perfectly, though, he got a little candy and had a great time.

My 12yo ended up with enough candy for 4 people. My 15 yo dressed up but didn't go out (well, to Walmart, were people gave her strange looks for dressing up). My 17 yo wouldn't even dress up for a party she went to and had to pay to get in because of it.

I always offer the adults some candy, as well. It seems like they do all the work and get none of the reward. Most of them say no, but a few take a piece.


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## RubyWild (Apr 7, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tayndrewsmama*







I don't hardly think that's something to get so upset about. I guess I don't understand how a baby in a costume is rude though. Hey, I feel ill at the sight of formula feeders, but I don't consider it rude. It's not my business. Besides, I highly doubt that baby is shoving it down later that night either. I think it's cute. We did it with dd and ds so the neighbors could see them dressed up, but we still said TOT, please and thank you!









Did I seem upset? No, I just think it's poor manners pretending to take candy for a child when it's really for the adults. I don't mind the baby in costume. Of course they're cute. I guess if I was going to be upset it would be because we don't have much money right now and it doesn't feel right to have to give candy to adults in the name of a baby. Poor manners don't always upset me. I just notice them sometimes. And what does formula feeding have to do with adults taking candy for their baby? Again, no one thinks the baby is eating it, or rather, gumming it.


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## starfairy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CookieMonsterMommy*
what???

And what's wrong with dressing like a prostitute?

if I am going to an adult party - men in g-strings, slutty clothes, penis costumes, bring 'em on! Teenagers trick or treating ? Nope, not appropriate in my book. KKK, never okay. I was a pretty seductive dresser as a teen, but even I had limits to what i wore in public. a penis? thongs? KKK? to trick or treat? You think these kinds of things are okay? I guess my kids are sheltered LOL


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## Alkenny (May 4, 2004)

I saw it firsthand, unfortunately.

DD (12 and in 7th grade) didn't want to go at first. Then a friend asked her to go with her, so she thought it would be fun...her first year 'without mom'.

Said "friend" bailed on her, she walked home and we'd already left with the boys.

DH had just woken up for work, but he got dressed and took her out himself because she was bawling her eyes out. So, Daddy saved the day there, but my heart broke for her.


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## kewb (May 13, 2005)

Teens TOT only bugs me when they don't even make an effort at a costume. I still give the candy but I like to see a costume for my own entertainment.


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## broodymama (May 3, 2004)

We only had a few teens last night, but they were wearing costumes and were polite.

I went TOTing when I was 14, with a twist. My friend and I went around on the night of Nov 1st. At first everyone though we were crazy when we would knock on their door and say "Trick or Treat", but then we would say "hey, don't you have all that leftover candy you don't want sitting around?" Boy, we got TONS of candy that year!







:


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## tayndrewsmama (May 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RubyWild*
Did I seem upset? No, I just think it's poor manners pretending to take candy for a child when it's really for the adults. I don't mind the baby in costume. Of course they're cute. I guess if I was going to be upset it would be because we don't have much money right now and it doesn't feel right to have to give candy to adults in the name of a baby. Poor manners don't always upset me. I just notice them sometimes. And what does formula feeding have to do with adults taking candy for their baby? Again, no one thinks the baby is eating it, or rather, gumming it.

Sorry, I took your post to say that it's rude to feed a baby candy. Your probably right that it's rude if they only took their baby out to get candy for mom and dad though. As far as formula, I was equating how that isn't my business what people feed their kids, whether it's formula or candy to a baby without teeth.


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## delicious (Jun 16, 2003)

we saw lots of teens last night and they seemed ok. cute babies, too!

our main problem was with the, i suppose, 6-9 crowd, who pushed past dd, pushed past ds, etc. dd will wait to take her turn forever, no matter how many people just push. so, i ended up carrying ds and urging dd to take her turn. and their parents just watched....nice.

in our neighborhood, though, a lot of the teens were really nice and commented on how cute my kids were and at one house even made sure dd got her turn.

i agree with the pp who said if you are going to get so upset over halloween then you shouldn't participate.


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## Alkenny (May 4, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LadyBug & BabyBug*
We only had a few teens last night, but they were wearing costumes and were polite.

I went TOTing when I was 14, with a twist. My friend and I went around on the night of Nov 1st. At first everyone though we were crazy when we would knock on their door and say "Trick or Treat", but then we would say "hey, don't you have all that leftover candy you don't want sitting around?" Boy, we got TONS of candy that year!







:


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## RubyWild (Apr 7, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tayndrewsmama*
Sorry, I took your post to say that it's rude to feed a baby candy. Your probably right that it's rude if they only took their baby out to get candy for mom and dad though. As far as formula, I was equating how that isn't my business what people feed their kids, whether it's formula or candy to a baby without teeth.

Yeah, it's not our business, but yet I would still think "yuck" when I saw it, not that I ever see it. I'm more likely to see a 3 year old standing up to nurse than a baby being FF here. Of course, there are people who would be shocked at that, but hopefully not on MDC.


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## Brisen (Apr 5, 2004)

I'm horrible at guessing ages, we did seem to have more "older" kids than younger kids, but probably more in the 10-14 range, not really teens IMO. Everyone was pretty polite, some were a bit hyper, but that's to be expected. Not to old to be out, they were all in good costumes. Actually the older crowd mostly had costumes that they had made themselves and put effort into, while the younger kids were almost exclusively in store-bought costumes.

I would have loved to go out with the kids -- my 6 yo and almost-4yo went out, and dh carried our 1 yo though she wasn't toting. One of us had to stay home and man the candy bowl though, and dh needed some fresh air and a walk more than I did. Sigh. Next year, it will be my turn!


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## marybethorama (Jun 9, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ceilydhmama*
We had lots too. My fav were two girls who were *not* dressed up but claimed to be 4-year olds dressed as cute teenagers









that's cute


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## artgoddess (Jun 29, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Amylcd*
Not me. I took the kids trick-or-treating today, and all the teens I came in contact with were very rude, crowding in front of the little kids, etc. I'm still p/o'd over it.

Aww bummer. We saw a ton of teens out last niht, but they were all so polite.

One house we stopped at the occupants weren't home and the "take one" bowl had been cleaned out. As we walked up the drive the teens who were there discussing the fact that someone must have stole it all earlier, one of them said "what kind of A-hole does that onb a kids holiday?", then they saw my young son, apoligized for cursing, and offered him some of their own candy since he couldn't get any at this house.


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## Amylcd (Jun 16, 2005)

So, does anyone think there should be an age limit?


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## ani'smama (Nov 12, 2004)

http://www.kodakgallery.com/PhotoVie...vfolderid=2005

Here's a pic of my girls(cat & 50's girl), my newphews(camo-man and man holding baby), and my grand nephew(baby), and myself.


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## Maggi315 (Aug 31, 2003)

Well, I will post my family's take on it even though sounds like many of you wouldn't like us coming to your door. My husband and I absolutely LOVE toting. I love my kids dressing up, they are so cute with their candy bags, I love to see the other kids, especially the little ones and I die for the babies. Last night, my 10 week old was dressed up like a little monster! Now, obviously didn't trick or treat for him. However, next year, my husband will carry him around toting, then give him one or two things (usually we get noncandy like crackers, pretzels, etc.) and eat most of the candy himself! or divy it up with our kids!

My 15 year old toted last night. She was hestitate to, but I encouraged her to dress up and have fun! She had a great time with her younger siblings and even ran into some teen boys who were much more embarassed than her to be caught toting.

And do my kids forget to say Thank you! Absolutely! It ismuch easier to make sure the little ones are doing it. But when they get older (not my teen, she remembers!) they get so excited and hyper, they just forgot! I kept reminding them throughout the night, but I know they kept forgetting.

When I only had little kids, I guess I had more opinions on how things should go. But after toting for 15 years now! (with probably another 10-12 left), I am much more tolerant of others, because at some point my family has probably been there, done that!


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## hunnybumm (Nov 1, 2003)

We live on a military base so I suppose my experience will be a little different being a smaller community with regular patrol (police officers making sure no 'Tricks' are being had). We have toting from 6 - 8pm and that is very strick, I have yet to have anyone come up before 6 or after 8, in 5 years time.

DS is 23 months and he is plenty old to be toting, IMHO. We took him last year at 11 months as well. He ate a sucker or two last year and is eatting some of his candy this year as well. I think 3 is a bit old to start toting, it's just so much fun to see all the customs, the decorated houses, etc.

DS was very weary at first, but then he started to get the drill. He would take his bag from me, pull away and rush up to the door, knock (if they weren't siting out side), say some mumbles, and either take the candy or put up his bag. He then said "Thank You" and waved and said good bye. I walked up to every door with him of course. I made sure to inturperate (sp?) for him by saying "Trick or Treat", "That was a 'Thank You'" and telling them Thank you as we left.

I could care less about the toters age, though I do like to see some sort of costumn, it's part of the spirit of the night. I only saw a couple of rude kids/teens, most of the kids had their parents with in 5 feet saying "watch out for the baby" and making sure they said Trick or Treat and Thank You.

At around 7:30 I WAS exhauseted so we went home and handed out candy for the last half hour (we took the stroller so DS got a rest now and again, but my preggo self can't out last a toddler). Well DS stood at the door and 'talked' to the toters and handed them 1 piece of candy of his choosing. He had a blast. I can't wait to do it next year with an almost 3yo and almost 1yo. Though I am having DH take the night off from work if need be so he can help me. We don't get a lot of traffic on our street because they tore down all the houses across the street so it looks pretty vacant.

I make sure to turn ALL the lights off when we leave for toting, then when I get home I turn ALL the lights on and keep the door open (it's pretty warm here still) so people know we are handing out candy.

It's sad to hear of so many rude teens running about but I don't really blame the parents. Once they leave your site there is little you can do. The parents very much could have instilled manners in them, but they choose to do what they want. Besides I would much rather they been getting candy rather than egging or Tping houses.


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## Teensy (Feb 22, 2002)

Quote:

I went TOTing when I was 14, with a twist. My friend and I went around on the night of Nov 1st. At first everyone though we were crazy when we would knock on their door and say "Trick or Treat", but then we would say "hey, don't you have all that leftover candy you don't want sitting around?" Boy, we got TONS of candy that year!
That was BRILLIANT!!! Man, I wish I would have thought of that when I was young!

I generally don't mind teens trick-or-treating. I do prefer that ToTers wear costumes, but I don't begrudge anyone enjoying the innocent fun of Halloween. It goes without saying that all ToTers should be polite and say "Thank you" if they are old enough.

That said, I did have one teen girl come to my door last night that caused me to think, if you are wearing an outfit that is so sexy that other mothers are tempted to ask you what you are thinking going out in public dressed like that, maybe you are too old to go trick-or-treating (I didn't say it, but I couldn't help thinking it!).


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## CookieMonsterMommy (Oct 15, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Amylcd*
So, does anyone think there should be an age limit?


Nope. I'd be more than happy to give to a 38 year old who was dressed. altough I may ask him what his motives are if he was not with children.


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CookieMonsterMommy*
Nope. I'd be more than happy to give to a 38 year old who was dressed. altough I may ask him what his motives are if he was not with children.


yep.







And I've never had an adult come looking for candy without a kid in tow. Any dummy knows enough to get a kid for that!









And, oh god! Please! No more laws! We have enough laws. I can imagine the police now wasting my tax money carding TOTs.

Shut the darn lights-- go out for dinner & a movie. Anything. Leave the rest of us in peace to enjoy giving people-- the deserving and undeserving- candy, pencils, and dimes.


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## Evan&Anna's_Mom (Jun 12, 2003)

We don't get many TorT-ers -- we live at the top of a long hill and few will venture up it. There were only about 1/2 a dozen families out last night from the street. Both DH & I took our kids and left a big basket out at our house. We had a couple of older children (old enough to be out without a parent), but they were polite and costumed.

My DD, (age 2 1/2) went as as Princess Aurora (Sleeping Beauty) and decided to do up her thank you (already cute because of "toddler speak") with a proper, all the way to the floor, curtsy. I guess she got it from watching the video. Anyway, it really took off after the first couple of families gave her more candy for being so cute! Only problem was that her older brother couldn't quite match her, though he did add a bow with his thanks.


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## WriterMama (Mar 27, 2002)

We had quite a few teenage toters. Some were dressed, some weren't, but none were rude. I think it's fine for them to tot as long as they want (well, maybe hs graduation would be my personal limit :LOL). I saw a few teens that had taken out younger brothers and sisters. That's cool, imo. We also live in a pretty family friendly neighborhood. It would bug me if any toters were rude, but I haven't had that experience.


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## Milky Way (Sep 17, 2004)

We have mostly older kids tricker-treating near me. We did have several adults out by themselves







. But they where dressed and said Trick-or-treat, so we gave them candy. Most of the kids where nice and said thank you there where a few bad appples but there always are.


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## SagMom (Jan 15, 2002)

We had a lot of teens last night--more than I ever remember seeing. Some were dressed, some weren't, I didn't keep tabs on how many said, "Trick or Treat" or "Thank you" but none were rude.

My dd went out with some kids from the neighborhood who were 12, 15, 13 and 13. Ds went out with some other kids who were all 13 or 14, then the two groups got together and hit the other side of our lake. They had a blast.

I love seeing ALL the costumes--I don't care how old/young anyone is. I kind of feel sorry for the kids who come without a costume--seems it would be more fun to dress up, but maybe that's just me.

One of my favorite groups last night was a bunch of teens with a couple of parents with them. They were just being soooo goofy and were having a great time together. When I offered the parents candy, one chuckled and said, "I'm probably too old for this." to which I replied, "You're never too old for candy!" That sums up my opinion on how old is too old for halloween. It's a fun, silly night--if you're too old to be silly and have fun, you're in a pretty bad place, imo.


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## tinuviel_k (Apr 29, 2004)

When my husband was a teen, he and a group of five friends would dress up as pirates and go door to door singing halloween themed sea-shanties. I give candy to all the teens that come, but I give more to the creative ones!


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## FreeThinkinMama (Aug 3, 2004)

I'm with you, I went trick or treating until I was about 15 and got some rude people who asked how old I was or why I was out trick or treating. Sure I wanted candy but it was also fun running door to door, dressing up and having fun with my friends. I felt like people were trying to make me grow up too fast, just like they did when they said I was too old to play with dolls. So I don't mind older trick or treaters, I treat them just like the other trick or treaters. Besides, like others said, I know they're more likely to pull pranks if you don't give them treats then the 8 year olds


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## tinyshoes (Mar 6, 2002)

my mother always said,

If they're young enough to want free candy, they're young enough to trick-or-treat.


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## ZeldasMom (Sep 25, 2004)

A few days before Halloween we got a flyer saying that college students would be trick-or-treating in our neighbnorhood for a local food bank. We did get some and they were dressed in costumes! I thought this was a nice idea and would be a fun project to organize for teens who still wanted to dress up and go trick or treating.


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## FoxintheSnow (May 11, 2004)

Wow this thread is tense! I never knew trick or treating could cause so much hostility.

I thought the point of getting your kids (of any age) to trick or treat was so you can binge on their kit-kats when they're alseep.









So needless to say I will be encouraging my ds to trick or treat till college.


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## daisyem (May 12, 2004)

Dh, dd, ds and I all went together as pirates around our apartment complex to the people we know







It was a fun night, only dd (age 3) had a candy bag and said tot... We just stood back and let her have all the fun







(ds is 8mo) We did have a couple people give extra candy "for the other pirates' but mostly everyone just said we looked great. It was fun!









I have no problem with teenagers toting. I couldn't tell you if kids said thank you or not--guess I'm too busy looking at the cute costumes









I do have to admit though, that I was a bit irritated when older toters knocked at 10:45 at night. There wasn't a light in the house on and we were all asleep... I do think that was a bit late







:


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## Shenjall (Sep 14, 2002)

I'm in the never too young/old camp. I love all the costumes and silliness. Its such a free fun nite, ya know?

We had equal amount of teens vs younger kids but all of the teens were very polite and said "TOT". As for costumes, not so much







Mostly just some masks. With the exception of these 2 young ladies. One was an angel. Full huge wings; dress; tights; halo; makeup - everything. (and not a "grown up" type of costume if you know what I mean..). The other was a butterfly. The wings were also huge but full of so much color! She had on a bright orange wig and bright purple tunic dress. You could see so much detail into every part of their costumes. My dd (3) was sooo in love with them! "dey sooo bee-you-tee-full mommy! I LOVE them!"

We actually got apples from one house! I havent seen apples in a tot bag in years!

On a sad note, when I was 12 my friend and I went out. We dressed up like punk rockers. We did the full makeup and dress. We were having a blast running around, seeing other friends, yada yada until we came to one house. The lady yelled at us. "what are you doing out here? you're too old to be out. such selfish children. you should be ashamed of yourselves! get off my doorstep and go home and think about what you have done!" SLAM went the door. We felt so bad. We felt ashamed when 5 minutes earlier we were having the time of our lives. We went home and cried to our mothers. Did we do something wrong? We just wanted to have fun too.
We never went out after that. I still cringe when I drive by that house. Who was she to crush the spirit of 2 kids?

So, I remember that every halloween when someone older than 10 comes to my door. They get just as big, "happy halloween!" as the younger ones do.

Besides that, I love halloween!


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## ceilydhmama (Mar 31, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shenjall*
I'm in the never too young/old camp. I love all the costumes and silliness. Its such a free fun nite, ya know? I still cringe when I drive by that house. Who was she to crush the spirit of 2 kids?

So, I remember that every halloween when someone older than 10 comes to my door. They get just as big, "happy halloween!" as the younger ones do.

Besides that, I love halloween!









oh you brought tears to my eyes


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## Dar (Apr 12, 2002)

Now, really, who could resist this face?:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v3...nhalloween.jpg
Of course, she brought a "bloody" meat cleaver with her when she went trick or treating, but she's still cute!

And Shenjall, that's horrid! What a witch. Or bitch. Whatever. I want to go egg her house or something.

Dar


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## QueeTheBean (Aug 6, 2002)

To restate what a lot of folks here are saying--I don't think any of us have so much of an issue with teens (or adults) coming to TOT--it is those that come un-costumed & act rude that bother me. In addition to the rude groups I had, there were also several groups of teens that were dressed up & looked great--I had no problem in the world with them







!

In fact, I dressed up myself & went out with my kids. I still love Halloween & costumes---just not so keen on the un-costumed lot.

So, I'm a stickler for tradition . . . what can I say?


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## Momtwice (Nov 21, 2001)

We had more teenagers than last year, and they were nicer than the ones last year. They were happy and fun.

We had one group that had to be juniors or seniors in high school, and they were so nice. One guy was dressed as a cheerleader in a tiny skirt, he cracked me up.

Last year there were some BIG guys who gave me a scary vibe, but it was all good this year.


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## Red (Feb 6, 2002)

Well, my teens didn't TOT. I wouldn't let them. The two 15 yo's were hopping mad, one cried through dinner and didn't talk to me all night.









When my dd17 was in 6th grade, she go tyelled at for being to old. She was jsut tall. Thte other two, heck, they want to drive, get their navels pierced and TOT.

I wouldn't have cared if they were going to our neighbors, but they would have gone with friends who live in a busier area, with more houses. And I think teens out late are just loooking for trouble. Wait, not looking, but IT often finds them, anyway.


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## twindaze (Aug 13, 2002)

My 9 yo is 5'2", so I guarantee he'll be 6 foot before he's ready to quit TOT'ing, so I wouldn't be so sure you know how old all of these children are. It never even occurred to me that anyone would think he was too old. How sad that by the time he's 11 he may have to put up with narrowminded adults. I last TOT'd at age 14.


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## UmmBnB (Mar 28, 2005)

We ran into one gang of teenagers. They were all dressed as hobbits. Absolutley amazing costumes!


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tayndrewsmama*
So UUMom, if we don't think what you think and do what you do we're all wrong, hey?








:


Yeah. That's what I said.









You've made it perfectly clear teenagers aren't worth your understanding. Good for you.


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *UmmBnB*
We ran into one gang of teenagers. They were all dressed as hobbits. Absolutley amazing costumes!


I think it's pretty clear that if a person takes the time to care, they will see wonderful things.









I am certain that many other parents crossed the street to get away from the hoodlums.


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## SagMom (Jan 15, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *UUMom*
I think it's pretty clear that if a person takes the time to care, they will see wonderful things.










Yes!

There is a general sense of annoyance and disapproval of teens in our society, as far as I've seen. It surprises me to see it at MDC, because I expected something different, but I've seen that same negativity here as well. It saddens me.

It reminds me of people who object to the existance of small children because they're messy or noisy or too active, when really, they're just being normal children. I think that, because some/most teens physically appear to be adults, it's easy to forget that they're still going through some major growth and changes and still figuring out their place in the world, and who they are. I think a lot of what is seen as "rudeness" or "attitude" is insecurity, or self-consciousness.

I remember, as a teen, not wanting to become an adult--not because of the responsibilities involved, but because "old people" were intolerant and grouchy sticks in the mud. I don't think the "them v us" thing works out for either side.


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## primjillie (May 4, 2004)

I love teenagers but I still have mixed feelings about high schoolers trick or treating. I love the wee ones and I feel they sometimes get overwhelmed and pushed aside by the large kids. Some of the teenagers that came to my house TOTing had cell phones plastered to their ears and couldn't be bothered to say TOT or thanks or anything. I thought that was a little much. I did give candy (until I ran out) to all the kids, no matter what age or costume. And 99% said thank you and were as sweet as can be.


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## Maggi315 (Aug 31, 2003)

Wow, if your kids were crying to trick or treat, maybe it really did mean alot to them







Not something I would risk my relationship with my teen over. She had a great time, and yes, her cellphone kept ringing. It was all her other friends calling to see who was where, what everyone was wearing, what they got, etc. We kept yelling at her that Darth Vader shouldn't be trying to TOT, walk in dark and talk on cellphone.

But I have to agree about rude teens. If I found out mine was causing problems, she would be done and punished. But I am more sympathic to other parents of teens!


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## earthmama369 (Jul 29, 2005)

We didn't get any teens, and I'm kind of bummed about it, actually. I know there are several on our street, and I would have loved it if they came out and ToT'ed.

We only had a few ToTers, and they were all very sweet and had great costumes. And we had a great time showing off our 11-month-old dd to our family and neighbors when we went out ToTing. (I know some people think it's rude to take a baby ToTing; I think it's about community and having fun. If someone doesn't want to give her candy -- she LOVES playing with the shiny wrappers and putting it in and taking it out of her basket -- they don't have to.)


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## MamaTaraX (Oct 5, 2004)

Only skimmed this thread, wanted to reply to one thing I saw...

Quote:

I get annoyed at how many people take their kids out with both parents and then don't pass out candy, particularly if they do this every year. We'd love to both go out with them but it seems wrong to go collect candy if we don't hand it out.
We takethe kids out ToTing. This year I took them to the mall, and that sucked. Previously and in the future, though, we go to a neighborhood that you have to walk to. We don't really hav eany neighbors. I've sat home to hand out candy to no avail. No one comes here becausethere is no one to come here. We have to walk (or drive!) to get to a neighborhoood in which to ToT. So, we're those parents who take our kids out and don't hand out candy. Not because we don't wnat to but because there's no one to hand it out too









Namaste, Tara
mama to Doodle (7), Butterfly (2), and Rythm (due at home 1/06)


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## Ashleigh (Apr 16, 2005)

We didn't get any teens, the oldest was about 10. We only got 10 kids though


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## Mylittlevowels (Feb 16, 2005)

I don't mind the teens at all...I find they are the ones that are most creative







I got one girl who was probably around 15 who had the best Freddy Krueger costume








I don't mind the babies either. What do I care if the parents eat the candy? It's all about fun, IMHO. And I







Halloween. I stayed home this year with my little devil while dh took out the skeleton. It was her first ToT. You can see a pic of them in my blog


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## Dar (Apr 12, 2002)

Some teens are rude. Some 8 year olds are rude. But when teens are
rude, it becomes an indictment of an entire age cohort, and when younger kids
are rude it's just that their mothers didn't parent them well enough, or
something. I've read lots of generalizations about "rude, awful teens", and then quick clarifications to explain "not *all* teens, of course". Try plugging gays into this, or Blacks. Not happening. Teens, however, are fair game...

Dar


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *primjillie*
I love teenagers but I still have mixed feelings about high schoolers trick or treating. I love the wee ones and I feel they sometimes get overwhelmed and pushed aside by the large kids. Some of the teenagers that came to my house TOTing had cell phones plastered to their ears and couldn't be bothered to say TOT or thanks or anything. I thought that was a little much. I did give candy (until I ran out) to all the kids, no matter what age or costume. And 99% said thank you and were as sweet as can be.


if you love them, accept their idosyncratic ways. Think of the cell phone as the toddler equiv of the thumb, or breast or nasty-ass blankie. It's a harsh world out there and maybe it helps to be connected via cell phone.

Maybe chat with them. Ask them a question. At the very least, smile at them.

They might not respond, but it's true they will remember you as someone who didn't snarl at them or tisked tisked them. Teens get plenty of that in our society and don't need more.

Show your love by showing patience. The same as you would with a toddler ranting in walmart, yk?


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dar*
Some teens are rude. Some 8 year olds are rude. But when teens are
rude, it becomes an indictment of an entire age cohort, and when younger kids
are rude it's just that their mothers didn't parent them well enough, or
something. I've read lots of generalizations about "rude, awful teens", and then quick clarifications to explain "not *all* teens, of course". Try plugging gays into this, or Blacks. Not happening. Teens, however, are fair game...

Dar


Yeah that. Pretty sad.


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

simple gifts said:


> My 12 yo went out. He is about 5'10", so he looks pretty old, but he still loves to go out. He went with some friends, and I worried that people would give them a hard time, but he said most people were fine.QUOTE}
> 
> Let him contimue to enjoy. People want kids to grow up so fast, but then they don't want them at the mall or on the streets.
> 
> ...


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## BlueStateMama (Apr 12, 2004)

Quote:

I have told my kids that in the same way some people are opposed to breastfeeding in public, some people are opposed to teens in public.
Did anyone actually say that? I've seen some opinions that teens are "too old" to ToT, but isn't this more a matter of personal views, rather than some masked hate for teens? I can't imagine anyone here actually possessing the vitrol towards teens that you're alleging.

I think it's perfectly compatable to like and enjoy teens very much (and heck, have them yourself and love them to pieces) but still think that perhaps they should throw in the towel on ToT at 12 or 13.


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## BlueStateMama (Apr 12, 2004)

Actually, I remember seeing the majority of people expressing an issue with teens not in costume ToT rather than teens ToT in general...but I'm getting older and kind of senile and maybe my memory of the thread is foggy


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## primjillie (May 4, 2004)

UUMom - How can I talk to them if they are on the cell phone? I think it is more of a rant on cell phone usage than teens. I had three teens at once all in sports so I had hordes of teens at my house at all times. I think being around them makes one comfortable with teens so that is not my problem. However, talking on cell phones can be a manners issue. I think it is rude of any age not to get off a phone when addressing someone. When someone comes to my door talking on a cell phone, looking the other direction and holding out a pillowcase for candy, that is a little rude of any age. I also didn't snarl or tsk tsk at anyone. I smiled and greeted each child, regardless of age. I have manners. I don't understand your phrase about a harsh world though - trick or treating is a harsh world so they need a cell phone? Give me a break!


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *primjillie*
UUMom - How can I talk to them if they are on the cell phone? I think it is more of a rant on cell phone usage than teens. I had three teens at once all in sports so I had hordes of teens at my house at all times. I think being around them makes one comfortable with teens so that is not my problem. However, talking on cell phones can be a manners issue. I think it is rude of any age not to get off a phone when addressing someone. When someone comes to my door talking on a cell phone, looking the other direction and holding out a pillowcase for candy, that is a little rude of any age. I also didn't snarl or tsk tsk at anyone. I smiled and greeted each child, regardless of age. I have manners. I don't understand your phrase about a harsh world though - trick or treating is a harsh world so they need a cell phone? Give me a break!


So you're saying you forgive adults for being impolite with cell phone useage? Or are you just directing your anger towards the one girl who was on her cell when you were giving her a mini hershy bar?

Teens are being held to an impossible standard. It doesn't matter that they are insecure or might be answering a call from their mother making sure they are being polite when given TOT candy. If they want to be in public, they better earn it.


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BlueStateMama*
Actually, I remember seeing the majority of people expressing an issue with teens not in costume ToT rather than teens ToT in general...but I'm getting older and kind of senile and maybe my memory of the thread is foggy










But i think that even if you are too insecure to be in constume, you might still want to be a part of the evening social scene. For most kids, there's halloween candy at home-- free from begging.

So you give a kid in no costume candy?? Whats that? Like $1 worth of candy in one night a year? If you only got teens in jeans coming to your door, shut the light.

What about little kids too sensitive to wear a costume? I've seen that. No biggie, for goodness sakes.


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BlueStateMama*
Did anyone actually say that? I've seen some opinions that teens are "too old" to ToT, but isn't this more a matter of personal views, rather than some masked hate for teens? I can't imagine anyone here actually possessing the vitrol towards teens that you're alleging.

I think it's perfectly compatable to like and enjoy teens very much (and heck, have them yourself and love them to pieces) but still think that perhaps they should throw in the towel on ToT at 12 or 13.










If they want to throw in the towel, fine. But if they don't, it's hard to believe people are so angry about those who don't. Maybe there should be a law about adults who are creative at halloween. Part of the fun of halloween is showing off your costume.

I also think you're missing a lot of creativity. A 5 yr old can only put so much costume together-- but teens-- wow.

Don't deny them the joy. I see no reason for the creative to 'throw in the towel' because some people think they should.


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## BlueStateMama (Apr 12, 2004)

Personally I gave everyone candy (a few pieces, actually







) but I'm not that wild about teens ToTing not in costume. I just think that if you're too cool for a costume, maybe it's time to pack it in on ToTing. I don't buy the "super-painfully-shy" reason for no costumes, I think they'd probably find something other to do rather than knock on complete strangers doors if they were that anxious.









I really do think this is a difference of opinion over a rather mild topic. I don't think that my not being fully approving of teens ToTing out of costume equates to some overall disapproval or dislike of a generation. I was nice and friendly to EVERYONE who came to my door, after all, and they did score some serious candy


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## BlueStateMama (Apr 12, 2004)

Quote:

it's hard to believe people are so angry about those who don't.
With all due respect, you're the only one I've seen actually *angry* about this topic. I didn't see anyone that worked up about it...we're talking about ToTing here, let's keep it in perspective!!


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## cynthia mosher (Aug 20, 1999)

I've removed many posts to this thread that were inappropriate or quoting and commenting on inappropriate posts.

If you wish to post to this thread please express your opinions without making assumptions or accusations about the opinions of others. Accusative sarcasm certainly doesn't help a discussion develop into a beneficial resource of thoughts and suggestions on how to deal with the issues discussed. So let's please stick to the topic without derailing the thread with adversarial comments.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

I don't mind teens trick-or-treating...I think I went out the last time when I was 14. But, I really don't like it when they don't wear a costume. To me, that means they want strangers to give them candy...period. They don't seem to be interested in the whole "trick-or-treat" experience...they just want free candy. And, I have found (I'm usually the one who took ds1 and my nephew out, and this year I took dd) that the teens and older kids who don't wear costumes are also _usually_ the ones who are hogging handfuls of candy and pushing around little kids and such. There are always exceptions, but the non-costumed teens do _tend_ to be the troublemakers, IME.

We had one teen in a costume bump into dd this year...but I don't think he saw her as he was wearing one of those masks that you can't see out of very well.

If ds1 wants to trick-or-treat for a few more years, he'll be allowed...but he'd better be in a costume. I know people who give treats to non-costumed teens, purely because they're afraid the kids will trash the place if they don't. I don't know...it just doesn't seem like trick-or-treating if they're not in costume.


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## honneybeemommy1267 (Oct 29, 2005)

there were a lot of teens-preteens at my door(none rude) every one is always saying oh when your 14 or over that age your way to old its not just for little children in my eyes teens are still kids and its a holiday for fun so if they wana go out let them besides its not gonna hurt anyone but some teens do cross the line like egging cars tiping houses then thats a problem but most teens just wana hav fun so i tottaly disagre with anybody who thinks its wrong!


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

I don't have a teen, but this thread caught my eye...

My ONLY requirement for Halloween TOTing is that you say "trick or treat" to me......I don't care if you're 45 years old in a sweatshirt and jeans, if you say trick or treat, you're getting candy from me. If they just walkto my door and open their bags, I'll stand at the door, bowl of candy in hand, and say, "Well?", or, "What do you say?" (but am more gentle and forgiving with young children, I'll usually say it for them - ha!) - most of the time they get it and say trick or treat right away, but sometimes it's funny and they say "um, please?" to which I laugh and reply, "Well, normally sure, but what do you say on Halloween?"

I passed out candy to people of all ages, in all states of costumeness or uncostumeness (I had a guy dressed up as a clown, he had to be 40, with his kids, and he got candy too!), so long as I got a "trick or treat".

FTR, I went trick or treating a couple times in college with a groupd of friends, in full costume, and then before we went home we found some older kids to dump most of our candy on since we went more for the fun than the candy.

I say Halloween is for everyone, as long as you're in the spirit....rudeness and meanness is certainly not restricted to teens, and is a total bummer. I was pleasantly surprised in our new neighborhood this year that a vast majority of kids and teens were very polite and if they forgot a thank you, their parents reminded them as they walked down the steps.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *donosmommy04*
My ONLY requirement for Halloween TOTing is that you say "trick or treat" to me......I don't care if you're 45 years old in a sweatshirt and jeans, if you say trick or treat, you're getting candy from me. If they just walkto my door and open their bags, I'll stand at the door, bowl of candy in hand, and say, "Well?", or, "What do you say?" (but am more gentle and forgiving with young children, I'll usually say it for them - ha!) - most of the time they get it and say trick or treat right away, but sometimes it's funny and they say "um, please?" to which I laugh and reply, "Well, normally sure, but what do you say on Halloween?"

DD is 2.5. She went out this year - really excited about trick-or-treating. Before we went up each walk, I said "what do you say when they open the door?", and she replied "trick-or-treat". She actually said it a grand total of twice. What can ya do? But, she was one incredibly cute little pumpkin.

I was blown away, though - she remembered to say "thank you" at every single house!


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## 4evermom (Feb 3, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *quietplease*
I think more than half of the kids who came to our door tonight were 12-15 years old. Some wore costumes, a few not; none were snarky, rude, or threatening. I really think that no matter how fast our culture wants kids to grow up, many teens want to stay kids for awhile. I was happy to give them candy. Anybody else see them as big kids clinging to a happy childhood tradition?









Definitely. One neighborhood is not well off, so who knows if the kids can even afford costumes. I think a lot of them just feel too self conscious to wear costumes, as well. We even had some really little kids come without a costume. Everyone was very polite. About 20 years ago, there was a problem with older kids stealing bags of candy from the younger ones. I'm happy that the neighborhood is better and I'm happy to give out candy to any age kid.


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## darkangel090260 (Oct 31, 2005)

last time i whent out me and a few girlfriends were about 21-25 and had those little sexys costomes on it was after all the little ones whent to home we hit all the single guys house we had fun.

One of my cousins use to go out for me a few years in a row with her red lab because i was to sick to go out. She was at least 25 at the time, Everyone new she had a little cousin and i was not with her so she got a tone of candie. Pluse she picked up my goodie bags from all out family friends for me that night


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## mommyto3girls (May 3, 2005)

All the teens we got were really nice. I had candy for the older ones and mini tubs od play-doh for the little kids. I was amazed at all of the teens who said "Oh, play-doh, can I have some please? Pretty Please! I haven't played with play-doh in years" I think I gave more play-doh to teens than kids.

Then there was the 4 year old who yelled in my face "What is that? I can get play-doh at home, I want candy!"

To the pp who was upset about seeing both parents out with the kids TorTing. For the first hour dh and I were both out, we put a sign in the driveway that said our treats were at the neighbors. We were out with 4 other families, all of which had both parents. All of which also handed out treats. We left ours w/neighbors, two had grandma come pass out candy, and one actually paid their babysitter to sit at their house and pass out candy!


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## UnschoolnMa (Jun 14, 2004)

We give candy to those who knock on the door regardless of age.







We've not had anyone really rude, though Dh did mention one boy not liking the kind of candy we had toward the end of the night.







I think the idea that trick-or-treating is only for children is a shame.


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## rryman (Sep 19, 2005)

I totally agree with you!







I think its wonderful for preteens and teens to go trick or treating. I have a dd just turned 15 nov 7th and a ds who is 11. I have 2 reasons why I like it. First and most important I dont want them to grow up! I feel like I am loosing my babies. They grow to fast. Second It keeps them out of trouble. They could be doing lots of other stuff that is far worse. So mama, I agree and thank you from a mother of a preteen and a teen for thinking about them!


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