# How Long Did Your Child Sleep In Your Bedroom?



## Crystal Pegasus (Jan 24, 2008)

Just wondering what age your child was when he/she/they stopped sleeping in your bedroom... not necessarily actually co-sleeping in your bed?

I guess I'm trying to see what the oldest age people have continued with this.

And have you allowed your child decide when it is the right time to move on to sleeping in their own room... no matter what age this was... or did you gently push the move yourself after a certain age?


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## MissMommyNiceNice (May 1, 2007)

We're getting ready to start transitioning DS, 20 mos, out of our bed very soon. How can one little person take up so much room in a king sized bed?







But for us, it's not really an end to cosleeping because his room is connected to ours, the walk through room to our front bedroom. As soon as we get his bed, he'll be going down over there (all of 10 feet away) but we anticipate him coming over for his 4:30 am feeding and finishing the night in our bed.


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## ani'smama (Nov 12, 2004)

My 9 year old dd sleeps with us, and shows no signs of stopping anytime soon. My 12 year old dd was 9 when she stopped coming to our bed regularly. I think she realized her own bed is more comfortable than being sandwiched amongst 3 other people. We have a queen sized bed. It has been their decision.


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## Peony (Nov 27, 2003)

DD1 is 5.5y and always ends up in bed. Some nights she starts out in her room, other nights she doesn't want to. It's never been something we've pushed, she didn't even have a room at all until she was almost 5 when she asked for one. I feel that when she is ready, then she's ready, I'm not going to force the issue. And this year she has developed anxiety issues so I'm glad that I've taken this approach, it wouldn't be healthy for her any other way. DD2 is only 22 months so of course she has only ever sleep with me, and will for years to come.


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## wombatclay (Sep 4, 2005)

Queen sized bed with toddler bed pushed up against it... dd1 is 3, dd2 is 1. Even if dd1 decided she didn't want to co-sleep (unlikely







) she'd still be in our room... our house only has one bedroom!

We're planning on moving again in about 3 years and our next house will have a seperate sleeping room for our girls to share once they decide they are done with the family bedroom. But there will always be an open door policy.


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## I-AM-Mother (Aug 6, 2008)

for years at a time.


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## PassionateWriter (Feb 27, 2008)

ds1 = 5ish
ds2= 8ish
ds3 = still at 2.5
ds4 = unknown at this time; due next month.


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## Crystal Pegasus (Jan 24, 2008)

"for years at a time."

Like... how many??


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## kohlby (Dec 5, 2005)

Our son stopped co-sleeping full time at 22 months. He was sleeping in his own bed full-time at 4.5 years. However, our sleeping arrangements change by the season to save on ac/heat. And since I'm pg, I'm keeping the room too cool for DH. So, DH started sleeping with DS again around when DS turned 5. He'll likely stop when the sleeping arrangements change due to weather, so that will be 5.5. (Though there's always a chance it will start up again when DS is 6 and the sleeping arrangements change back). Our DD is 2 and is co-sleeping part time but is in the same room full-time. She'll likely go to sleeping in her room part time in the winter but in our room part-time as well.

*We don't get our kids out of our bed at a certain time. However, we do start having them start the night in their own bed at some point. We have the rule that they have to start in their own bed but can come into our bed if they want. This way, they get the comfort that they need. (In the summer, we have two beds in the same room so DD starts the night in her bed, but the same room. She ends up in my bed partway through the night). It really was quite simply to have our kids start the night in their own bed. Since we go to sleep later than the kids usually, it's not that big of a difference than them starting in our bed alone. (As a baby, DD even started the night in her own bed and then I moved her to our bed when I went to bed).


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## ledzepplon (Jun 28, 2004)

Dd moved out of our room sometime around 2-2.5. She was ready to have her own space. Ds, on the other hand, is 2.5 and shows no signs of being ready for his own room yet.


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## wombatclay (Sep 4, 2005)

Oh! The weather comment reminded me... growing up my family had seperate bedrooms but during the winter we would all move into one of the downstairs rooms for sleeping (we closed off the upstairs to conserve heat, it was a farmhouse from he late 1700s and in bad shape). So we had seperate beds (folding futons actually) but a family bedroom each winter.


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## Medusa (Mar 25, 2004)

DS started sleeping in his room right about the time he turned 7. He would come and get in to my bed in the mornings for a few weeks, then maybe once aweek for a couple of months.

He turned 8 this summer and I honestly can not remember the last time he slept in my room. Maybe 8 or 9 months ago?


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## mistymama (Oct 12, 2004)

At 2 years old ds was falling asleep in my bed alone, and I would come to bed about 2-3 hours later. I decided to try starting him out in his own bed, and he did just fine. Some nights he would end up back in bed with me, but not often. By the time he was 2.5 years old he was sleeping 100% in his own room, own bed. It was very easy, and he was ready.


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## I-AM-Mother (Aug 6, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Crystal Pegasus* 
"for years at a time."

Like... how many??

each one of my children started sleeping in their own bed when I have birth to another child.

for ex. my oldest slept in our bed for six years (there is 6 years between my oldest child and middle child.

my middle daughter slept in our bed for four years until I gave birth to my youngest child. (there is four years between my middle child and youngest)

My youngest just turned two in Apr. and still sleeps with us.

I am not having anymore children though, so he is free to leave in about another year.


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## amynbebes (Aug 28, 2008)

13 yr old was 5
11 yr old was 4
7 yr old was nearly 6
5 yr old was 5

This isn't to say that we still don't get occasional visits from the younger 2 mentioned above. My 5 yr old still sleeps with me on the weekends.
We started transitioning them all around 4/5.


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## captain crunchy (Mar 29, 2005)

DD is 3 with no plans on stopping soon -- we love having her in our bed! We will probably put a twin bed for her in our room when we move in Oct (the master bedroom is really big) so we can all be in the same room for a while yet.


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## pinky (Nov 21, 2001)

DD #1 moved herself into her own room at 2-1/2. She would come and join us for part of the night about once/week until she was around 5. This was her schedule entirely.
DD#2 starts the night with her sister (started around when she turned 3, I think) and then joins us when she wakes up for the first time, occasionally these days that's morning. We initiated this; occasionally she has wanted to start the night with Mommy and then she does. She hasn't asked for that in a loooong time.


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## karina5 (Apr 15, 2006)

DS is 3 and sleeps w/ me. DH has a sleep disorder and sleeps in his own room. I love sleeping w/ DS, but I'm getting pretty sick of laying w/ him for over an hour until he falls asleep. It's getting OLD.









One of these days you'll see me posting for tips on how to get him over this. But the sleeping itself - I don't mind a bit!


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## VaDoula (Jan 18, 2007)

Both of my sons sleep in our room and end up in our bed by morning. They are 6 and 3. My husband is building them a bunk bed for their room. We'll see if they will actually use it. If not, it makes a good place for puppet shows and forts, Hahaha!


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## Maeve (Feb 21, 2004)

My 10 month old is in our bed and our 6 yr old & 10 yr old sleep in our room. The oldest 2 have their own rooms, they just prefer to sleep in ours, which is fine w/us. I don't see why children should *have* to sleep in a seperate room (unless of course, that is what they want). I've heard the argument that they will never sleep alone. I seriously doubt they will still want to sleep in our room when they are in college.
Though, our middle dd did tell us one time that when she gets married her husband and daddy can sleep on the floor w/Cassie (our dog) and she and her kids can sleep in bed w/me.


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## D_McG (Jun 12, 2006)

2 years and and couting. we'll encourage his departure around 3 I think.


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## Malva (Nov 2, 2005)

Our almost 9yo shows no signs of wanting her own room. DS at 3 yo still doesn't quite sleep all night, so it'd be out of question. Everyone sleeps in their own bed right now (fortunately) but all in the same room. We'll wait until they ask to be moved.


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## klosmom (Nov 19, 2007)

My 10 year old daughter and I still sleep in the same bed. Sometimes I wonder if I'll have to make room for her husband. But really I enjoy the time we have together, snuggling, reading, and my favorite is the talking.


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## ChetMC (Aug 27, 2005)

Our two oldest moved to their own room together when they were 4 and 32 months.


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## Collinsky (Jul 7, 2004)

My 5.5 yo is still in the bed with us, and I'm guessing she'll be there for a while yet.

ETA: I think my 4 yo will probably follow her when she starts sleeping somewhere else.


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## Momalea (Dec 29, 2002)

My oldest child will be 8 on Wednesday. Yesterday she told my dh and I that she'd like to try sleeping in her own room. Up until now she's had no interest. So, we're going to create that space and see how it goes. I'm actually looking forward to putting my 2.5 yo ds into her old bed (which is next to us) and having a little more room to stretch at night.


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## Crystal Pegasus (Jan 24, 2008)

Ok... the reason I posted this... I guess I want to ask you mamas for your opinion.

Our 13 y/o son still sleeps in our room... not our bed, he has his own, but in our room. (You can imagine our sex life is reserved for times when he is out of the house!)

When we moved to this house almost a year ago, he decided he'd like to try to sleep in his own room (his own choice, we didn't push him)... and tried night after night for several weeks, but never felt comfortable enough to settle until it got light!! So, he'd use every excuse to stay up, including having a convenient *tummy ache* every night, and be in the toilet reading until dawn!

And of course, it made it hard for me to sleep, knowing that he was doing this... we all ended up grumpy and achieving little each day, and still have awful sleep patterns, up into the early hours that we haven't managed to break yet, several months later. We home educate and WAH so it's not a huge hassle usually, but still annoying...

Eventually, we all agreed it would be kinder on everyone's sanity if he moved back into our room... and all is peaceful at bedtime now.









But... I am wondering what you all think of a child this age still sleeping in our room? We do know another home educating family with a child the same age, plus 2 younger brothers, who all sleep in the same room... but it's not common.

I know my parents are quite horrified about it, as no doubt would lots of other people be.

But it's easy and comfortable for us. I see some of you have kids of an older age... but none this old. Do you think it's *wrong*? Should we be forcing him to move out, because of what is acceptable in our society? Or going with our instincts and reluctance to force this on him... especially when it doesn't worry us. In fact, we missed him when he left for those few weeks.

I guess in many countries, and in times gone by, families often only had one bedroom to sleep in, all together... but here and now it's not a usual thing.

So, opionions?? Thoughts? Whatever??


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## Momalea (Dec 29, 2002)

I can see why you might feel self conscious about your sleeping situation, I think I would just because it's so against the norm. Sometimes I feel judged for having my almost 8 yo in the same room with us. However, if my dd was as uncomfortable as your ds seems to be with sleeping alone, I'd keep her in the room with us. It sounds like it's working for everyone, so there you go. He will want to move out eventually and then the transition will be easy for him.


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## leighann79 (Aug 4, 2005)

DD1 was in our room in a crib until 9 months. DS was in our bed until 6 months and then moved to a crib (moved WAY too much lol) in our room until 9 months.
DD2 is still in our room at 32 months.







She was first just in our bed, then we had a crib up next to the bed, then the crib mattress on the floor next to the bed and now a toddler bed. With in the past 6 months she has started falling asleep in our bed and then we move her into her bed. We are hoping to get her moved in with big sister in a few months. They will be sharing a queen size bed.


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## marrusso (Feb 27, 2008)

Hi there,
Our DS is 8 1/2 years old and still sleeps with me most nights. My DH has always worked at night so both kids slept with me for a looooooooong time. I think DD was 9 or so when the bed finally got too too crowded and she wanted her own space. I quit worrying a long time ago about what an acceptable age for them to sleep in their own beds was. And its not every night that he sleeps with me...DH is home on the weekends and now and again during the week depending on work. I feel like if he feels safer at night with me or is worried about falling asleep by himself then its totally fine for him to be in my bed. Although I must say now that he's gotten bigger I've woken up in the night and for one groggy second I've thought it was my husband!!! LOL.


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## lizardmom (Apr 3, 2008)

My 3 1/2 year old decided on her own at 37 months that she wanted her own bed. I seriously tried to talk her out of it but she really wanted it. I was shocked because she was a die hard cosleeper. Now it's hard to convince her to sleep with me (she still has a bed in our room) She comes in a couple of times a week for early morning sleeping/cuddling but I miss her! It's been almost 5 months and I'm still sad that she isn't in our room (and I get up to check on her every night)


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## Norasmomma (Feb 26, 2008)

We are currently transitioning DD to her own room, but it's attached to our room(we live in an old farmhouse). She has been all about her own room and bed for awhile now, so we have just taken her lead. She'll be 2 in a week, for us we've just followed her cues with everything, weaning, bottle, potty and now our sleeping arrangement. She has been coming into our bed at around 4am which is great. Last night though she *probably* would have stayed in her own bed, but the dog threw up and that caused me to have to clean it up at 4am, gross. So she woke up and cried and came to our bed.

I can see why you would be asking, for me I *think* that would be an odd arrangement, but hey in other places in the world that is the norm, the whole family sleeps in one area. If it's working great, if not maybe there's some underlying anxiety he's experiencing to have to sleep in your room. I know that when I was 13 I didn't even want my parents to come into my room, let alone be sleeping around them.

It's all a matter of if it's working or not for you, I don't think that would work for us.


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## Greenfrogs (Jan 18, 2002)

My 8 year old son sleeps with me most of the time (he lives part time with his dad). He also sleeps in his own bed from time to time (also located in the same room I live in a 1 bedroom). Sometimes he sleeps on the sofa (his choice).

I sometimes wonder if I should encourage him to sleep in his own bed most of the time, but it works well for us.


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## nov05mama (Mar 29, 2007)

DS is almost 3 and shows no signs of leaving any time soon! He falls asleep on his own and has gone into his own bed before, but we brought him back.
We have the crib sidecared to the bed too, so some nights he sleeps in his own "bed" next to us, but most nights he's in the middle...


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## velochic (May 13, 2002)

My dd is almost 7 and has never been willing to try her own bed in her bedroom, or our room. My mother lives with us, and when she tries to sleep with my mom, she's back up with us within a couple of hours. One of two things will happen... she will learn to sleep on her own or when she's a few years older, dh will start sleeping in her bed.

This is actually the *exact* situation my SIL has. Dh is from Turkey, and co-sleeping, at least among his family, is a very, very normal and natural thing. When the oldest dd, who is now 19, was about 10 years old, the father started sleeping in her bed by himself and the three gals (younger daughter is about 9 yo now, the mother, and the older daughter) sleep in one bed. They all seem happy about the situation and it doesn't seem to cause any strife. The kids are off to school around 7:30am and while it's not talked about, the dh doesn't go to work until 10am, so I'm sure as a couple the parents are still able to connect as they need/want.

I think as long as the family dynamic is healthy, whatever sleep arrangements work for your family is the right decision no matter the age.


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