# Another Freecycle Rant!!!



## littlecityfarmer (Apr 27, 2004)

I love Freecycle. I really do. But some of the mainstream nonsense really, really bugs me... I get a digest email or ten every day, and half the messages are looking for formula coupons, or bottles, or cribs, or "electronic equiptment to amuse my 3 month old"
















I feel like I should email encouraging AP messages to some of these people, but I'm also trying not to be so snarky and judgemental and really other people's parenting decisions aren't mine to make. I just wish they wouldn't bottle-feed in public...

_____
Okay... so after reading all the responses (nothing I've ever posted had gotten so many), I feel like a jerk... I really do like Freecycle, and whole-heartedly believe in its mission of keeping reusuable stuff out of the waste-stream. Sometimes, though, I feel really isolated in a land where over-consumption rules and parents are directed by the authorities-that-be in marketing-land to buy things so as not ever have to see, smell, or touch their babies, and to see it all reflected in the very cool idea of Freecycle can be discouraging... On the other hand, though, maybe I should be encouraged by the freecycling of baby-gear, as it means that some people realize that they don't need all the junk... That's what I was trying to express when in my original post, and apparently didn't do a very good job. I know that an AP-ish and NFL-ish lifestyle doesn't work for every family, but it does work for ours (usually), and when it does I unintentionally get a bit evangelistic about parenting choices I'm grateful to have made, like nursing and co-sleeping...
I'm starting to ramble at this point, so I'll end here...


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## Heffernhyphen (May 3, 2005)

On my Freecycle list once a woman was looking for a copy of What To Expect When You're Expecting. I sent her an e-mail and told her that I had to throw mine in the trash because it stunk so bad, and that she should be looking for something by Dr. Sears instead. (Unfortunately, I won't part with mine.) Hey, even for free, why pass around crap?

Go ahead and make your suggestions, just be sure to do it without the snarkasm. You catch more flies with honey.


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## Sharlla (Jul 14, 2005)

I have a crib, bottle, and electonic equiptment (which my 3 month old adores BTW)


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## SquishyKitty (Jun 10, 2005)

I think I am a bad parent too.

And we just gave our crib to an airman and her husband who are expecting thier first baby, along with the swing which ds hated because he liked to be held and walked to sleep.

Guess the fact that I gave her a lot of breastfeeding info, as well as where to find a good pump once she goes back to work, and talked to her about just sleeping with the baby while she's nursing (and she agreed and was adamant about it) has no bearing, because of all that nasty mainstream stuff, huh?

I also told her that even the military docs will >gasp< not give her too much push about delaying vacs, as my friend and I both did that with our kids.


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## zonapellucida (Jul 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *beansmommy*
I just wish they wouldn't bottle-feed in public...


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## KayleeZoo (Apr 8, 2003)

Quote:

I just wish they wouldn't bottle-feed in public...
Why would you wish someone wouldn't feed their baby in public? Just because they made a different choice than you did? I'm really glad no one said that to me when I was bottle-feeding my first baby.


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## DragonflyBlue (Oct 21, 2003)

Quote:

I just wish they wouldn't bottle-feed in public...
That's a bit harsh isn't it?

How many times have nursing moms been on that end of the spectrum?

When a baby is hungry, it needs to eat. No matter where the food comes from. Just like with BIP, if you are offended, look away. Should a mom who is bottlefeeding be taking her child into a nasty public restroom to eat?

Nursing mom's want the ability to feed their babes the way they choose, anytime the baby needs to nurse. Why does that sentiment only go one way?

There are far worse things a mom can do that bottlefeed, buy electronic toys, and other baby "toys."

Janis


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## jacksmama (Sep 19, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *beansmommy*
I just wish they wouldn't bottle-feed in public...


I think she was attempting a little ironic humour. You know...how frequently others will criticize (openly) a mom for bf'ing in public. :nana: I could be wrong but I don't think she meant to get anyone's panties in a twist.

*Ironic: 1 : relating to, containing, or constituting irony
2 : given to irony; synonym see SARCASTIC; IRONIC implies an attempt to be amusing or provocative by saying usually the opposite of what is meant, ie <made the ironic observation that the government could always be trusted>.
- Merriam Webster Dict.*

That being said, beansmommy, if a stranger emailed me with nfl info, honestly, I would tune it out. It would strike me as odd and little bit zealous. I'm not saying you shouldn't share some natural family living ideas with others, but I'm not sure the message would be received in the way you meant it due only to the fact that you have no connection of any kind to these people. Now if you were giving them something I could see slipping in some of your values, if you desire. I think that your heart is full of love and concern for all these little babies and you just want to do whatever you can to show people there are great options for parents & kids. But just the nature of the internet, etc. for me it would sort of be like those people who knock on your door and invite you to their local Bible revival or want to come in to talk about Jesus. I know they mean well, but I usually just ignore their message. Now if my neighbor invited me or talked to me about her beliefs, I might consider it a little more (maybe), but you get my drift, oui?

Personally, I don't believe that "doing" any specific thing constitutes "AP". The doing part (cd, non circ, cosleep, ext. bf, etc.) is more of a natural family living thing. AP, again to ME, is more of a mental mindset of nurturing and promoting attachment. It's how you ARE to your child, not what you DO. Although just due to the nature of ap, the two are intertwined (babywearing, etc.). I think that's where some people took offense to your post. Either that or they haven't had their coffee yet?


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## KnitterMama (Mar 31, 2005)

Sorry to derail this thread and put it back on topic







... but I recently freecycled a bunch of mainstream stuff we weren't using. Personally, I feel that if I can help another low-income Mama in any way, then I'm gonna do so. I don't think it's inappropriate to offer-up something you have which is more AP friendly, when someone is say looking for a stroller or crib or whatever. If you have an extra sling, or a copy of a Sears book or a snuggle nest ... by all means email the Mama and give her some options. If it's one thing us low-income Mamas don't have, it's options. However, I probably wouldn't email a Mama looking for What to Expect totally dissing it without offering something else which is more AP friendly. That'd just make her feel bad, and if she can't afford an alternative doubly so.







Just my .02


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## Heffernhyphen (May 3, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jacksmama*
I think she was attempting a little ironic humour. You know...how frequently others will criticize (openly) a mom for bf'ing in public.









:

It's like how my lesbian friend jokes: "I don't mind that they're straight; I just wish they wouldn't flaunt it in public."

Lighten up, mamas!


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## wednesday (Apr 26, 2004)

For the record, I bottle-fed my son EBM in public the first couple months after he was born. We had some medical issues, both his and mine, that made NIP not very possible. It got better over time, but in the beginning pumping a bottle and taking it along with us was the best way for me to be able to leave the house (which I think we all would agree is necessary sometimes for a new mama's sanity).

So don't go hating on every mama you see with a bottle! You don't know her situation!


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## KnitterMama (Mar 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wednesday*
For the record, I bottle-fed my son EBM in public the first couple months after he was born. We had some medical issues, both his and mine, that made NIP not very possible. It got better over time, but in the beginning pumping a bottle and taking it along with us was the best way for me to be able to leave the house (which I think we all would agree is necessary sometimes for a new mama's sanity).

So don't go hating on every mama you see with a bottle! You don't know her situation!


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## wednesday (Apr 26, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jacksmama*
I think she was attempting a little ironic humour. You know...how frequently others will criticize (openly) a mom for bf'ing in public.

Oh okay, I get it now...and I wasn't offended, I just wanted to speak up to say you never know what's in that bottle...


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

What has really helpe dthis on our freecycle group is that people aren't allowed to post a wanted without posting an offer at the same time. Otherwise they can put it on the database of wanted items (yahoo groups feature this service) so that it doesn't flood emails boxes with shameless begging. Also it is easier to see who the takers are. Some people in our area will suck up tons of stuff to sell. You may want to suggest something like this to the list owner.


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## KnitterMama (Mar 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lilyka*
What has really helpe dthis on our freecycle group is that people aren't allowed to post a wanted without posting an offer at the same time. Otherwise they can put it on the database of wanted items (yahoo groups feature this service) so that it doesn't flood emails boxes with shameless begging.









: People in need posting wanted ads on FREECYCLE is *shameless begging*?!?







:


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## KayleeZoo (Apr 8, 2003)

beansmommy, if you were being sarcastic, i'm sorry i misunderstood









and i don't think that posting want ads on freecycle is shameless begging- but i think it's wrong to ask for stuff that you're going to sell


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## SquishyKitty (Jun 10, 2005)

I think freecycle is good in theory, and if we lived in the states I would use it as much as possible to get rid of unnecessary stuff, but in reality it seems to be abused enough that I would be wary of somebody who just posted a want ad.

Sad but true.


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## jacksmama (Sep 19, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *swimmin_mama*







: People in need posting wanted ads on FREECYCLE is *shameless begging*?!?







:


I think what Lilyka meant was not that asking for something you need is shameless begging, but that sometimes when you post on Freecycle you'll get flooded with emails - at least that has been my experience - all asking for the same item. And SOME - not all - but there's that small percentage that send these long, my life is so hard, please help, I'll take anything you have, you can send me money, I haven't paid my electric bill, or the best yet (I really got this) I have 3 kids and I used all my rent & grocery money at the casino. I just lost all sense of my bills and at the end of the night I realized that I spent my whole check. I really need anything you have so I can _sell_ it to make rent. That's a true story.









I felt bad for her and I almost gave her money - but in the end I thought I would be helping her to continue the cylce.

Lilyka, don't mean to speak for you - but that's what I got from your post.


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## operamommy (Nov 9, 2004)

Re: shameless begging.

It happens. It happened so much in my group that I stopped freecycling. Every other ad was something like, "Oh, I need a wireless fencing system for my dog sooo bad. If you don't give it to me I'll have to get rid of her, etc...." I never minded people asking if someone had what they needed, but for the most part the ads on my particular group were ridiculous.


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

I think ours is espcially bad. It is one thing if you need something but when you are posting 20-30 wanted ads and never offering anything it jst gets old. When I did give stuff it was like a feeding frenzy. I had one person take another persons stuff (actually I had stuff sitting out for 4 people and they took all of it) and then the person whose stuff got stolen yelled and screamed at me (it was a load of free crap). It just seemed like it was all about want want want. It is one thing to ask for a couple of things you need but most of the regulars we just asking and asking and asking and asking for anything and everything. most people try it, get sick of it and never come back. I think free cycles is good in theory but at least here it doesn't work so well. Especially for baby stuff. Even the list owner was loosing his mind and kept repeatedly telling people they couldn't post so many wanted. there was approximately one offer for every 100 wanted posts. seriously. it was just gimme gimme gimme.

That data base works much better. despite my frustration with the gimmes i would prefer to find someone who was patiently waiting for what I was giving rather than 100 people jumping on me the minute I post (who may or may not actually need or even want what I have).


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## Shiloh (Apr 15, 2005)

Also I wouldn't assume people are looking for these things for what you think.
I've seen people walking old dogs in strollers, the person who took my mother's old crib (the one she had as a child - the lead paint death trap







took it for a doll collection as I made sure they knew it was not for kids (they didn't have any were an elderly couple) I had someone ask me if I knew anyone with baby bottles for their dd doll collection as she wanted one.

Sometimes people put their dogs in cribs ones with the sides off...or cradles...lol I've also seen dogs in snugglies and slings...

on the don't bottle feed in public thing - I wish someone would walk up to a woman bottle feeding and say can't you do that in the bathroom







joke.

But there are circumstances where even the crunchiest of us couldn't breastfeed - isn't pku one, cancer, drug issues etc.

And not all adoptive moms choose to relactate = we had one at my playgroup new baby boy whipped out a bottle and some moms went coldly silent until she explained he was adopted....


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## Heffernhyphen (May 3, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shiloh*
. . . at my playgroup new baby boy whipped out a bottle and some moms went coldly silent until she explained he was adopted....

Isn't that kind of sad? Even if a mom makes the choice to bottlefeed, be it ebm or formula, should we ap moms judge her? I saw a mom with a teeny little baby girl at the Museum recently, shaking up a formula bottle. I felt SO judgmental and superior . . . almost whipped out a boob and started a feeding competition right there next to the puppet theater. But then I got a grip and realized that, while I believe my way is better, I don't get to choose for her. That would be just as wrong as my neighbors looking down on us for our "weird" ap practices, don't you think.


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## BusyMommy (Nov 20, 2001)

Hmmm, I get a kick out of ours. Yesterday, someone unloaded a shopping bag full of plastic newspaper sleeves. You know, the kind the paper comes in every morning? Now, who the heck would drive over & pick that up?









But, today someone gave away a running vehicle and someone else a motorcycle.

Yeah, I do some people asking for extravagant (or many many) items & I did drop off a big item at someone's house who looked like a TOTAL junk collector.







:

But, hey, I think it's a fantastic resource and people here seem really nice & mellow.


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## Heffernhyphen (May 3, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BusyMommy*
Yesterday, someone unloaded a shopping bag full of plastic newspaper sleeves. You know, the kind the paper comes in every morning? Now, who the heck would drive over & pick that up?

How s'bout a professional painter. S/he could use them to cover ceiling fan blades when painting a ceiling.


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## BusyMommy (Nov 20, 2001)

Learn something new everyday!


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## fly-mom (May 23, 2005)

My freecycle group seems really good so far. I've only been on it for a few weeks, and its mostly to get rid of junk rather than to get junk. There are a lot of offers on our list, some of them junky and some pretty good. Some guy gave away 2 pianos the other day!

Anyway- I felt really good. Someone posted looking for a breast pump. I "loaned" her mine. I hope I'm not a chump, and that I get it back eventually, but I felt good that I could help out.


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## wednesday (Apr 26, 2004)

fly-mom, I once posted a wanted for a yogurt maker, and was offered a loan of one. I did give it back after a few months, and I very much appreciated the loan. So I hope it works out for you and I don't think you're a chump for having made the offer!


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

I know on my group there are some AP mamas, I even saw a woman write a whole AP post once- this patricular woman has a great sense of humor on there too. I have freecycled some "non-AP" stuff, just a few weeks ago, I gave the formula I got free in the mail when ds was born and the bottles that I thought I would use for the occasional evening out with dh. I have some sposies to list soon too







.

I think if you saw someone ask for Babywise or something, you could direct them to the Dr. Sears book at the local library and just say something like, "I read that Babywise book and much preferred Dr. Sears, he is a pediatrician with 8 kids and his advice is so great, here's a link to the library that has it in right now!". Anything beyond that (commenting on cribs, bottles, formula, sposies) seem like a really bad idea to me. I know I would be very angry if I asker for a sling and someone wrote me about how I should not use them b/c they are bad for baby or something.


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## Sharlla (Jul 14, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wednesday*
For the record, I bottle-fed my son EBM in public the first couple months after he was born.

Me too, wasn't comfortable with nursing yet. Now I use to bottles for when I can't be with the baby and have someone else watching him.


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## littlecityfarmer (Apr 27, 2004)

I apologize for offending anyone with the bottle-feeding in public comment... It was my feeble attempt at late-night exhaustion AP humor. I do understand the neccessity of bottles for some families-- my DS, while exclusively breast-fed until he started solids at 10 monthes, drank 2 or 3 bottles of ebm a day while I was at work-- and I didn't mean to imply that people who bottlefeed their babies don't have the best intentions.


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## AntoninBeGonin (Jun 24, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sharlla*
I have a crib, bottle, and electonic equiptment (which my 3 month old adores BTW)


We have 2 electric swings which we bought before DS was born. You know how it is, first baby and you're reading these crazy check-lists of what's needed







Hehe.

Anyhow, as an infant he was only in for very short periods, for example if I had to use the bathroom. Other than that he was carried 98% of the time. Now, at age one, he asks to ride his swings. He likes them! Imagine that :LOL He also likes to push our kitties in them. He's so cute!









~Nay


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## LizD (Feb 22, 2002)

I joined our freecycle group a few weeks ago and really like it so far. It's mostly offers. "Wanted" ads are things like needing a bird cage or a dog crate- big, expensive items that someone really might have lying around annoying them. Only one "wanted" post I saw seemed "shameless-" the poster specified "no junk," which I thought was a little rude when asking for a bicycle and helmet!







:


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## Hoopin' Mama (Sep 9, 2004)

Dh works long days. If we didn't have a swing or a bouncy seat, breakfast would have been my only meal of the day for thr first three months of DS's life. Not too healthy for a bf'ing Mama.

I will happily pass them along









When it comes to baby gear, it's all about using it responsibly . DS hated the sling until he was big enough for the hip carry.


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## Fuamami (Mar 16, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BusyMommy*
Yesterday, someone unloaded a shopping bag full of plastic newspaper sleeves. You know, the kind the paper comes in every morning? Now, who the heck would drive over & pick that up?









I would, for dog poop while on runs. Sorry to be so OT!


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## Mackenzie (Sep 26, 2004)

I stopped offering stuff recently too. it seemed that it was it was all about want want want. I offered a bunch of different baby stuff....some was from our kids and some was stuff that people had given us (we take things from people that we will never use but they were going to throw away. I would rather find home for it myself than it end up in a landfill. ) Well, every baby thing I offerend this one lady would ask for because "they were giong to start TTC #3 next year" , I, personally, would rather stuff go to someone who needs it NOW. And she would keep emailing me and emailing.

And then there is the one who, it seemed, really really needed stuff for a baby. She was pregnant, they had little extra money etc....so I told her she could have a lot of the stuff that I offered. She made arrangements to come and get it at least three times (from several different offers) and never showed up but was always posting wanted posts.

I just became a little bitter after a while


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## CherryBomb (Feb 13, 2005)

I get sad when people of brand new babies (or still pregnant) post asking for formula and bottles. I don't believe breastfeeding is best; I *know* that breastfeeding is normal and formula is sub-par. That said, I don't know everyone's personal situation, and I ff'ed my first, so I try not to judge when I see it and would never say anything.

I get REALLY annoyed by one lady, though. She's always posting "one of my cats had kittens...another one of my cats had kittens...one of my dogs had puppies...another one of my dogs had puppies..." I've had a hard time not sending her a crappy message telling her to either fix her darn animals or take them to a no kill shelther. >:/


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## KnitterMama (Mar 31, 2005)

I can see what a lot of you are saying ... yeah, there are definitely some people who take advantage of Freecycle, who always post wants, but never offers, who sell things they acquire, who are maybe just plain hoarding ... who knows.







But, ya just can't sell me on that "shameless begging" comment. It was offensive to me as a low-income Mama who often uses Freecyle to get things my family *needs*. When DS starts outgrowing his clothes, when I need some more fabric or yarn to make warm clothes or blankets, if I need something for school - Freecycle is the first place I turn. I live in a community with an Ivy League school - a lot of high, high income people with **** sitting around they don't need or want. Hey, I do need it, and I do want it, so I post a lot of Wanted ads on Freecycle. I try to always post offers along with the wanted ads ... I clean-out closets, pick-through bookshelves just find stuff we don't use or don't need anymore and offer it up. And I don't offer crap - it's always in good condition. But, I don't always have something to offer ... but I try darned hard to.

Anyway, point is, as usual, don't judge unless ya know. I'm not trying to be snarky ... but I did find the comment very offensive and I'm seriously surprised so many people would defend what is obvious classism from my perspective.


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

I love freecycle! I love reading my freecycle! I have given away some great stuff and have goten great stuff in return.

My fav was a person who was wanting to trade their new Mercedes for a boat that was at least a 21 footer.

How fun is that to read? :LOL

i then posted that I was willing to purchase a new Mercedes of choice for anyone who wanted to trade me their beach house. (I figure a loan for a 100k vehicle would still put me ahead if someone traded a $ 1 million beach house--which is pretty much on the low end here for beach front).

There were quite a giggles at that.

I hope people keep posting the near impossible, because one just never knows.

I had a friend who got a nearly new baby grand piano through freecycle. She beat me to it and i was bummed.

You just never know.

it's fun, doesn't cost a thing and is good for some laughs.

Don't sweat it. People will continue to bottlefeed whether they are on freecycle or not.

As for What To Expect. I hated that book. I planned a homebirth with my first all along, and ended up with an awesome homebirth. But i still read that book to see what was 'supposed' to happen.







The month by month thing seems really important for frist time pregger people.... for me anyway. I also drooled over pictures of growing fetuses. Anything that showed progression of any type. That seem less important for subsequent pregnancies, however.

You can always unsub and junk your stuff or donate to someone who was in need, but not on freecycle.

Enjoy it for what it is. And what it is not is a vehicle to lecture folks. We recently were lectured to death by someone who thought we were not generous enough with our katrina donations to her. I didn't respond bcause, well, I knew i gave as i could, to several organizations and to indivual persons.

However, that post did result in some cross words being exchanged when there should have been *stuff* offerred. I sure don't need lectures from Freecycle people. I would never engage in that sort of personal banter on such a site. It's for trading crapola. Period.

People take it all too personally and it's not personal.


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## maya44 (Aug 3, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zonapellucida*

















What is wrong with bottle feeding, may I ask? All three of my dd's bottle fed expressed breast milk for years. Why in the world would you have a problem with that????????


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## moma justice (Aug 16, 2003)

one wanted post on my freecycle (which is mostly good over all)
was a new moma with a want of crib, formula, bottles, sposie diapers....she mentioned she was staying at home and therefore had $$$ problems (which trust me i understand) and that is why she was on freecycle begging/asking for these items.

i could not help but write her back and tell her although i do not have any of the things she asked for, that i was a new moma consultant (of sorts, which i am, i try adn be a resource for women of my community and have given cloth diapering workshops out of my home, make and sell cloth diaper covers, point new mommas in need in the righ tdirection with books and info, bf support..etc)

anyway i told her that i the best way to save money was to bf and use cloth diapers, adn limit the baby equipment you buy.

i told her that i would be happy to loan her cloth dipaer stuff, teach her how to use them etc and help her with bf etc...
she never wrote me back.

i had to try.
oh well

adn i just have to add that before i knew all the wonderful things i know now about NFL AP etc, i would here some mommas rant and think they were a little nuts and i would nto be so crazy/risky to have my baby at home, sleep with her, not vax....make your own cloth dipaers??!?!?!?!?!?!
and i have to tell you, i wish i could go back adn kiss every crazy ranter for planting seeds in my head b/c they all added up to a sense that NFL adn AP was "normal" not freakish.

my baby would thank them too i am sure!

so as long as you are trying to not be a self rightous know it all...i think it proabably can't HURT to mention what you think works well (ok i mean what you think is BEST!!!!)


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## spruce (Dec 11, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *UUMom*
I love freecycle! I love reading my freecycle! I have given away some great stuff and have goten great stuff in return.

My fav was a person who was wanting to trade their new Mercedes for a boat that was at least a 21 footer.

How fun is that to read? :LOL

i then posted that I was willing to purchase a new Mercedes of choice for anyone who wanted to trade me their beach house. (I figure a loan for a 100k vehicle would still put me ahead if someone traded a $ 1 million beach house--which is pretty much on the low end here for beach front).

There were quite a giggles at that.

I hope people keep posting the near impossible, because one just never knows.


You must read SARK, am I right?







This made me smile, I love hearing about the impossible or improbable coming to fruition.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *UUMom*
As for What To Expect. I hated that book. I planned a homebirth with my first all along, and ended up with an awesome homebirth. But i still read that book to see what was 'supposed' to happen.







The month by month thing seems really important for frist time pregger people.... for me anyway. I also drooled over pictures of growing fetuses. Anything that showed progression of any type. That seem less important for subsequent pregnancies, however.


Oh, my, I hear you.

I *hated* that book when I was preg w/ my first but read it anyway...I didn't know there were options, and I am sure there are a LOT of Mamas out there who also don't know of too many options. I really got my panties in a wad over the passage in that book (this was in '92, so they might have changed it since), that said that cosleeping might "lead" to homosexuality in the child. AAAARGGGHHHH!!!! I was so angry, but still read the book to find out how I was *supposed* to be progessing, gestation-wise. Ugh.

As far as Freecycle goes, I unsubbed from ours, but mostly because I just was overwhelmed w/ responses to the few things I did offer. I got a great home for our Blue and Gold Macaw, who was given to us by an EMT in a class I took...we just couldn't keep her even though we had more room and stuff for her than she needed...I wanted her to be a flighted bird and in our wood-stove-heated house, she burned one wing when she got away from us one time.







Turned out the woman who took her in had her wings clipped, which really made me sad, but then again, the bird is also able to be uncaged much of the time now. So it's all about seeing the positive in what you DO give.

I figured that the other stuff I gave away was going to go to the transfer station anyway (we have a platform to leave free, useable stuff at our dump), so I might as well just be at peace with whoever said they wanted it.

What really creeped me out was giving out my address...I didn't want to do that at all, so I only gave it to the one HS mom who adopted our bird.




































I sure can talk a lot.









love, penelope


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## Sharlla (Jul 14, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *swimmin_mama*
I there are definitely some people who take advantage of Freecycle, who always post wants, but never offers,

I never post offers but I respond to wants all the time.


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

I don't think there is anything wrong with offering cloth diapers if someone is looking for diapers. I also think it's ok to offer other baby books when someone asks for WTE. Offerring is different. "I don't have WTE , or disposables, but I some good cloth dipes I am no longer using, and can offer a different book on preganancy that I loved". I also have some bottles with nipples that work well for babies who need to go from breast to bottle when Mom is working".

I was ticked at the Katrina lecture on my Freecycle, and I would be ticked if someone wrote to tell me i shouldn't be asking for something and she had something better i should want. I hate people, esp strangers who do not know me, telling me what i should do, what i should think. So i figure other people hate that too. But you know what? You have every right to rant about your freecycle, as I also hate it when people tell me not to be upset about something i am upset about. So carry on.







Seriously. Sorry about not appreciating the rant at first. Clueless people tick me off, too.

Btw, whenever people ask for baby things, I offer baby things--maybe not the specific things they mentioned, but other things they might need, but didn't think to ask and that I have. I've def given away more than I have gotten --but that's fun.

What is SARK? It sounds interesting.


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## chinaKat (Aug 6, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *beansmommy*
I love Freecycle. I really do. But some of the mainstream nonsense really, really bugs me... I get a digest email or ten every day, and half the messages are looking for formula coupons, or bottles, or cribs, or "electronic equiptment to amuse my 3 month old"
















<edited to remove my snotty comment about how judgemental I thought this post was>


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## ceilydhmama (Mar 31, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *moma justice*
adn i just have to add that before i knew all the wonderful things i know now about NFL AP etc, i would here some mommas rant and think they were a little nuts and i would nto be so crazy/risky to have my baby at home, sleep with her, not vax....make your own cloth dipaers??!?!?!?!?!?!
and i have to tell you, i wish i could go back adn kiss every crazy ranter for planting seeds in my head b/c they all added up to a sense that NFL adn AP was "normal" not freakish.

my baby would thank them too i am sure!

so as long as you are trying to not be a self rightous know it all...i think it proabably can't HURT to mention what you think works well (ok i mean what you think is BEST!!!!)


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## kelly1827 (Mar 17, 2004)

I can appreciate the "shameless begging" feel the one poster was talking about. Of course, someone asking for things that are _needs_ is just asking, no matter how plaintive, not what I believe the poster meant. Maybe she belong to the same group I used to belong to, where people would post things like this:

WANTED: Big screen TV
WANTED: Women's jeans, size 7 , NWT, brands X, Y, or Z only!!
WANTED: SUV, 2002 or newer

I'm not kidding! At Christmas time it got seriously out of control, so much so that I unsub'd from that group and joined one farther away. Just recently a new one in my area opened up, and it's been great.

And for people who are uncomfortable giving their address out, you could offer to meet the person in a shopping center or somewhere public. That's what most of the groups in our area suggest, but then again I live in the paranoid midatlantic region....


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## Monkeyfeet (Feb 5, 2005)

I just offered my copy of Evidence of Harm on ours and I was overwhelmed by the mamas that responded and then made an AP comment. So cool!


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## Devaskyla (Oct 5, 2003)

Quote:

I think freecycle is good in theory, and if we lived in the states I would use it as much as possible to get rid of unnecessary stuff, but in reality it seems to be abused enough that I would be wary of somebody who just posted a want ad.
You don't have to be in the States, there's freecycles in lots of places. I was really surprised to find a local one. Ours requests that people post at least 1 offer for every 4 wanteds. Don't know how much that's enforced, though.

I wrote to one mama who requested "healthy sleep habits" because her cousin said she should and suggested "no-cry sleep solution" instead. Ok, it was a bit rude, but I figured if she's open to suggestions...


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## mandalamama (Sep 1, 2004)

after reading your OP and your edit ... i think it's fine to send out gentle emails filled with information, if you sense a parent may be drifting into detachment.

i asked on Freecycle for a swing when Willow was 1.5 months, my babe has reflux and i have arthritis so i couldn't hold her at the right angle for long enough before she'd fall asleep, and i was desparate. one of the women who responded to my request very politely asked if i was into baby-wearing, perhaps my baby might like the "swing of my body" which i thought was very sweet! we talked back and forth a bit, she was glad to learn i'm AP.

the swing turned out great, Willow would be at just the right angle after she ate while i laid next to her in the bed, then i'd transfer her over to bed when she had stopped "wet burping." i gave the swing away at my Freecycle "tag sale" and i talked to the pregnant mama who was taking it, she had been thinking about baby-wearing and she said she was more excited about it.

anyway. i think it's absolutely appropriate to dispense a little gentle advice whenever you can, if it's unwelcome, just don't push it.


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## Mama2RMM (Aug 24, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *swimmin_mama*







: People in need posting wanted ads on FREECYCLE is *shameless begging*?!?







:

I haven't read the whole thread to see if you posted more, but I wanted to mention that my Freecycle (Knoxville) has people that ask for a lot more than someone "in need" *needs* to survive.

Big screen televisions, computers, photo printers, digital cameras, VGC furniture (yes, it was specified that it needed to be very good condition!), specific vehicles (not a beater car, but a nice car), DVDs and CDs... these are just a few that I see regularly coming through. It finally irked me enough that I left the group. It is shameless begging to use "need" as a thin veil to be greedy.

I also had someone tell me that I was not allowed to offer things to the first person that picked it up because I needed to screen people to see who was most needy. It was a dog igloo... no one NEEDS a dog igloo to survive.







:

The spirit of Freecycle is a great concept, but I do think too many people use it incorrectly.


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *balawre*
I haven't read the whole thread to see if you posted more, but I wanted to mention that my Freecycle (Knoxville) has people that ask for a lot more than someone "in need" *needs* to survive.

Big screen televisions, computers, photo printers, digital cameras, VGC furniture (yes, it was specified that it needed to be very good condition!), specific vehicles (not a beater car, but a nice car), DVDs and CDs... these are just a few that I see regularly coming through. It finally irked me enough that I left the group. It is shameless begging to use "need" as a thin veil to be greedy.

I also had someone tell me that I was not allowed to offer things to the first person that picked it up because I needed to screen people to see who was most needy. It was a dog igloo... no one NEEDS a dog igloo to survive.







:

The spirit of Freecycle is a great concept, but I do think too many people use it incorrectly.


I don't think freecycle is simply for trading /wanting/needing only those things one needs to 'survive'. That would really limit what to ask/what to offer. Does one need a crockpot to survive? I mean, sure, it's nice--but one does not die without a crockpot. Yet, crockpots are what people on my freecycle most ask for. One can argue their fine usage, yet it's not a survival item.

Freecycle is everywhere- even where people do have large TVs and Plasma screens, and even dog igloos. If one's pet dies you might have a dog igloo to offer.

People need to put on an emotional filter when they check their freecycle list, or just unsub.

Freecycle is about keeping stuff out of dumps when folks are done using perfectly fine items. It's not simply a list one goes to when they need survival items.

Should a plasma screen be put in the trash because it's not what people need to stay alive?

I recently picked up a nearly new papa san chair-- I would not have died without it, but it looks really cool on my porch.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

I think Freecycle is mainly about saving landfill space. It doesn't matter if it's asked for or offered first, it still saves landfill space.

But I also get annoyed by extravagant wants. I think our group won't allow extravagant things because there was a problem with that at one point and I haven't seen it for a long time.


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *UUMom*
Freecycle is about keeping stuff out of dumps when folks are done using perfectly fine items. It's not simply a list one goes to when they need survival items.

Should a plasma screen be put in the trash because it's not what people need to stay alive?

I recently picked up a nearly new papa san chair-- I would not have died without it, but it looks really cool on my porch.

I think there's a difference between offering a "luxury" item that you no longer need (to keep it out of the landfill) and posting a "wanted" post for something non-essential. I also see a difference between "I could buy this item but in the spirit of recycling I thought I'd ask on here first" and giving a sob story as to why you "need" something like a jacuzi or flat-screen TV.


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ruthla*
I think there's a difference between offering a "luxury" item that you no longer need (to keep it out of the landfill) and posting a "wanted" post for something non-essential. I also see a difference between "I could buy this item but in the spirit of recycling I thought I'd ask on here first" and giving a sob story as to why you "need" something like a jacuzi or flat-screen TV.


Maybe.

Except you might get lucky.

Even those of us who think that certain stuff is crapola, we can understand egocentric crap saved is better than the crap rotting it's nasty chemicals in a landfill. Sure, the want might be ego-centric crap , but at least it's in one safe piece rather than spewing it's leaching chemicals into communtiy ground water. So, basically, more power to them for freecyling their car-ap.

Plus, there is no harm in asking for the odd or the crapola.

But, OK. I see am on the fringe here. While I can't think about anyone "needing" a plasma screen, what people ask for amuses me and doesn't press any of my emotional buttons. You think you need a plasma screen? That's your problem. Take it, and save the ground water.

If the Wants aggravate a person, one can always unsub.

I so do not get how anyone would have an issue with garbage being saved from posioning our landfills.

If your child needs formula, for whatever reason, or you let your kids watch TV, what the heck skin is it off me? I gave my adopted child formula through a lact-aid and really could have used the free formula. Of course, nobody here is on a list where there are adopted children needing formula. But still. It could happen.

I am not a dictator, telling you what you should want or need. I am only a person trying to get rid of my own crapola, and trying to score on Freecyle.

If you leave for political reasons, Mais fica. Which is Brazilain (or Portuguese)for "More left for me".


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## hipumpkins (Jul 25, 2003)

I'm with you UU mama. I ask for stuff that I can't afford but I would like. If I get it great..if not oh well I can't have it.
I only get irritated at the formula checks being offered simply b/c they are coupons and coupons are not supposed to be allowed. No landfill saving quality in them.
Otherwise ask away...the worst that can happen is you don't get a response.


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## Mamid (Nov 7, 2002)

My freecycle rant is three-fold. The people on the list I am on seem to only be giving away junk*, we have had a request for household items repeated 3 times so far (like a couch etc) yet can't get anything when people post that they have them available, and a moderator who snipes stuff.

Yes, one of our friendly neighbourhood moderators snipes stuff. that's how we got a crappy dresser that really should have been thrown out in the first place. She sniped it for us when I had emailed the person who had it. And guess who had to get rid of it? Yup. us. if we didn't live in a complex that has a trash bin, it would have cost us to get rid of it. And she continuously snipes things because she can.

Junk = stuff that really should have been thrown out in the first place. Don't want to feel guilty about about trashing stuff so let's freecycle it and give it to someone who has to get rid of it for you!









What really bugs me about it is that we gave up some good furniture to freecycle on the island and now, in the valley, we can't replace what we freecycled and have gone into debt to make sure we have a bed to sleep on nevermind some of the other furniture we need! We still need a couch and a few other items.


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## CurlyTop (Jun 18, 2003)

My rant with freecycle is when people are no-shows! Drives me bananarama. I like freecycle so much, I'm always decluttering and then freecycling and I get irritated when people are so thrilled to accept and then don't come get the stuff. Ugh. But I still do it, oh well!!


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## Sharlla (Jul 14, 2005)

I know that people like to get their offer numbers up, but I really wish people would check the wants before posting that same item as an offer.


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## medeanj (Sep 18, 2005)

I signed on to two Freecycle groups, one for the county of my residence and the other for the county where I work. The secondary Freecycle I signed on because I accidently stumbled across a free-4-all on the way to a townwide yard sale and decided to stop by there first.

Boy was I glad that I did. My sole goal that day was to look for used winter toddler clothing for my twins as I had none! I walked away with a nice armful of winter clothing of 12m to 18m clothing. The townwide yardsale I mentioned earlier turned out to be cancelled. So I use the secondary group to let me know of similar events.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kelly1827*
I can appreciate the "shameless begging" feel the one poster was talking about. Of course, someone asking for things that are _needs_ is just asking, no matter how plaintive, not what I believe the poster meant. Maybe she belong to the same group I used to belong to, where people would post things like this:

WANTED: Big screen TV
WANTED: Women's jeans, size 7 , NWT, brands X, Y, or Z only!!
WANTED: SUV, 2002 or newer

Wow, even my Freecycle in an upper-middle class area wouldn't stoop that low. Many of the requests are for quirky items that would complement some hobby or something of that nature. Some needs are genuine like kids clothing. I have not seen a request for formula or coupons as of yet.

Ok, forgive me ladies for I have sinned







...I asked (and even admitted) in my only Freecycle post that I was looking for any old wooden kitchen playset. But in my defense I also disclosed the reason, which was I was phasing out our recycled plastic toys. Of course no one has come forward, so I told both sets of grandparents to pool their monies for the holidays to get a wooden kitchen set with wooden kitchen toys.

The only item I gave away so far was an old Graco swingset with the silent crank (no batteries needed) and it worked perfectly. I didn't use it much, my twins were nice and clingy


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