# Mommas, I need your help and support...



## XM (Apr 16, 2002)

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## Ms. Mom (Nov 18, 2001)

You're such a beautiful person and you care so deeply. This woman is lucky to have you in her life.

I understand how hard it can be to try and support another woman. I was a call support person for our support group untill my son was born alive and healthy. I just didn't feel right trying to help a greiving mother while my newborn was suckling at my breast. But, that was me. When I was ready, I took on more ways to be supportive to women who have lost a child. It's now a passion to me to make sure every woman get's the chance and right to greive for a lost child.

It breaks my heart that this woman had to go through this. What a horrible way to loos a child. Truth is, there is now way to know if a hospital birth would have prevented this. Your right, 5 days of home labor after ROM is suspicious and should have been checked. But again, it may have already been too late? I couldn't imagine the guilt this woman is going through. Guilt is normal no matter what the reasons for our loss. But her's will require even more time and healing.

I've listed several excellent books and organizations in another thread here for woman who have lost a child that you may want to send on to her. I think by reading the stories of others and finding that she is not alone in her greif, she will be better able to heal.

Her doctors showing anger at her is not going to help at all. This reaction saddens me, she needs support and love right now. She was doing what she thought was best. In her most vulnerable state, she was trusting the advice of her midwife. That's what needs to be focused on.

Your amazing for sitting with her. I think it's so important for women to reach out to each other in times like this. I wish you peace, because I know how hard it is on you.


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## onehipmomma (Nov 19, 2001)

((((((Xiola'sMomma))))))

there isn't a lot I can say that MsMom hasn't said already.

I think that you are awesome for helping this lady through her grief. she is indeed lucky to have you.

Thinking of you!


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## lisamarie (Nov 19, 2001)

My heart goes out to you and to T and her dear precious baby boy. It it hard to help others during there time of intense grief and loss. Having been there, you know so deeply from where they are coming from and wish you had the power to make it better. You feel good in knowing that you are helping them by just listening to their story and giving them the support you need. But, it can also be draining for you, especially since you are still grieving. So, also take care of yourself during this time.

Sending you loving hugs~

Lisa:better


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## XM (Apr 16, 2002)

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## lamplighter (Nov 20, 2001)

Xiola's Momma, I have no words for the heartache you and T feel I am so sorry for your losses, I support you in your endeavor to help other mom's with birth losses. You are a VERY strong woman. Thank you for keeping the information flowing - knowledge is so important for all our families.

I will say prayers for you and T and I will send some healing energy your way.

my heart to yours friend,

Beth


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## kykarraliv (Jan 26, 2002)

My prayers go out to one broken hearted Mama and her little boy. I also pray that this MW practice is stopped along with the doula. I have had both MW and doula with my births and love them. May other mamas and babies be spared these twos mistakes. May Heavenly Father hold Mama and baby close. What a sad night.


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## XM (Apr 16, 2002)

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## pony (Dec 23, 2001)

Lose their practice? I think the midwife and doula should be brought up on criminal charges and be punished to the highest degree the law allows. for manslaughter. It seems to me that their negligence lead to the loss of this baby's life.


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## XM (Apr 16, 2002)

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## Ms. Mom (Nov 18, 2001)

XM - Again, I'm amazed with you. Your points are so valid and your concerns too.

This woman is so lucky to have crossed paths with you. TI beleive strongly in the right for women to have birth choices that include homebirth with a qualified midwife and doula.

I hope your doing well XM, your still in my thoughts.


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## XM (Apr 16, 2002)

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## Ms. Mom (Nov 18, 2001)

XM, You're feeling terribly hurt right now because you put such deep emotions on the line with this woman. So understandable, I'm sorry.

I have to wonder too, what she may be going through. She may be shutting a lot of people out right now, not just you.

Take comfort in the efforts you made. I know they made a difference in her life and one day she'll remember you foundly.

I do hope the move went well for you and that your feeling well. I read your words about he dew on the flowers and remembered so much.

I wrote a poem for my dd that ended "And today, with each flower bloom, I am again reminded of you..." I have that etched in a locket with her birthstone.


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## lamplighter (Nov 20, 2001)

Dear Xiola's Mom I just wanted you to know that you made a difference here. you helped women here going through birth losss. i hope you continue to write, what you say has power, meaning, healing and is beautiful.

I wish you peace and healing....

blessings,
Beth


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## XM (Apr 16, 2002)

Thank you, Beth and Jacque, your affirmations mean a lot to me.


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