# teachers yelling at daycare - demeaning or standard?



## soccermama (Jul 2, 2008)

My mom went to pick up our DS from school last weekend for a sleepover at their house. It was around midday when she picked him up - right after naptime. She said that when she approached the building, she could hear the teachers yelling at the kids "I told you not to do that", some kids were crying, etc., etc.,
To preface, this daycare is pretty mainstream, but they don't CIO and they don't spank.

Also, as she was gathering DS's things together he had pointed out that there was poop on the floor. So, doing what any mom would do, my mom cleaned up and threw it away and didn't say anything. Eeek.

I've never heard any of the teachers yell at the kids in a demeaning fashion. I've heard them yell if they were repeatedly doing something wrong (being asked to stop doing the act 4 or 5 times) as H and I have done this with DS at home. Or if we're trying to steer him clear of something so that he doesn't get hurt, etc.,

My mom asked if I had said anything to the director yesterday. I said 'no' and that I would rather wait and hear it for myself so that I can pinpoint who did it. Am I doing the right thing?


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## purplepaperclip (May 19, 2008)

I would definitely bring it to the director's attention. THere is a big difference between speaking firmly,yet gently and yelling at kids. Also, poop on the floor??? Yuck.


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## fairejour (Apr 15, 2004)

When I worked in daycare, yelling was cause for dismissal. We were even trained on how to avoid using the word "no".

YMMV


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## angelpie545 (Feb 23, 2005)

I used to be a preschool teacher, and I was *shocked* at some of the things that were allowed to happen in mainstream daycare centers. At the first center I worked at, we had teachers yell and scream left and right at little toddlers, one year old to two years old. It was insane. The next couple centers I worked at weren't much better. A lot of the parents didn't really care, the teachers were overworked, under educated, under paid, and the directors were just in it for the money. Anyhow, in the same regard, while it might be common, it's not okay. There are a lot of directors that do care quite a lot of the children that they oversee, so I would bring it to the attention of your son's particular center's director. Poop on the floor and a teacher screaming so loud she could be heard outside is definitely okay, nor is it healthy for the kids. If the health inspectors walked in and saw the poop on the floor and no one cleaning it or acknowledging it, the center would be in trouble for sure.


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

Completely and totally unacceptable.

Feces on the floor? Even more unacceptable.

I'd be looking for a new place ASAP.


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## vegemamato (Jul 4, 2007)

Yelling at children in a DAYCARE is NEVER acceptable (reguardless of age), in my opinion. Poop _hanging out_ on the floor within the reach of children -in any situation- is also NEVER acceptable. Your mother is not responsible for cleaning up feces, which is disgusting in and of itself, but to do it because no one else was there? What were they doing that they didn't notice shat on the floor?







:

(and this is from a mama who is messy by default and leaves a lot of room for error







)

Honestly, I would talk with the director, and most likely remove my child from such a place. Both of these things scream: RUN, and there is really very little that they could say/do to convince me otherwise. (assuming that your mother is telling the truth)

eta: yelling in order to prevent an accident is def the exception..


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

When you work in childcare, taking care of the children you're watching is your *job*. Yelling at them is akin to a cashier yelling at a customer in a store.


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## lerlerler (Mar 31, 2004)

If I heard yelling like "STOP! put down the bat"?

I'd think that a teacher saw a problem and wasn't close enough to physically intervene.. and was running over to try to stop it. Not the BEST thing to hear but understandable

but "I told you not to do that?" no emergency happening there...

very sad


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## phrogger (Oct 16, 2006)

I am going through the certification for childcare right now (it is through a military instillation so even more stringent then the state itself) and raising your voice is ONLY allowed if it is an emergant situation and I can't get their fast enough. If a child is about to bite another child, as I am running to them, I can yell "do not bite" or something along those lines. Just enough to kind of shock the kid into losing focus on the act at hand, but other then that, raising our voice isn't allowed, and we are monitored frequently.

So if that is something they stress to those of us who aren't with other adults all day that can hear us, why in the world would a center not follow the same standard? I would totally complain. I don't mind someone "yelling" at my child if they are about to be hurt or do something dangerous, but I would have issue with someone yelling at them just to yell kwim?


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## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LynnS6* 
Completely and totally unacceptable.

Feces on the floor? Even more unacceptable.

I'd be looking for a new place ASAP.









:


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## veganone (May 10, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LynnS6* 
Completely and totally unacceptable.

Feces on the floor? Even more unacceptable.

I'd be looking for a new place ASAP.

ITA. I'd be looking for a new center and would be VERY honest about why you're leaving with the director of the current center. I work in a building with a daycare center that I really don't care for, but even they don't yell at the kids. Ever.


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## kirstenb (Oct 4, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LynnS6* 
Completely and totally unacceptable.

Feces on the floor? Even more unacceptable.

I'd be looking for a new place ASAP.

Yes yes yes.

DS is in a fairly mainstream center and that would not be okay there at all. I would find a new place and let the director know immediately why.


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## Caneel (Jun 13, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *phathui5* 
When you work in childcare, taking care of the children you're watching is your *job*. Yelling at them is akin to a cashier yelling at a customer in a store.

I couldn't have said it better, I love this point of view.

Yelling, outside of a real emergency, is not permitted, per policy at DS daycare. Granted, it is a rather progressive not-for-profit but I personally don't think yelling at children is appropriate in a daycare setting.


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## betsyj (Jan 8, 2009)

Quote:

If a child is about to bite another child, as I am running to them, I can yell "do not bite" or something along those lines. Just enough to kind of shock the kid into losing focus on the act at hand, but other then that, raising our voice isn't allowed, and we are monitored frequently.
Same at my son's DC. The teachers are trained to not even say "no." They always try to redirect rather then scold or admonish the kids. Biting is kind of an emergency though!!

I mean of course yelling happens occasionally (God it is SO loud in there when those toddlers are running around) but the teachers really work at remaining clear and calm and consistent with the kids.

And poop on the floor? Egads.


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## soccermama (Jul 2, 2008)

Just called daycare and spoke to the assistant director and she said that all will be taken care of this afternoon. She knew who I was talking about and as far as the other teacher that was there at the time that my mom couldn't really pinpoint, they have schedules and know who is where when.

As far as taking my DS out of this school, we're in the process of putting our house on the market in the next week or so and moving to a completely different area than we currently live in. He will be in a new school soon.


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## veganone (May 10, 2007)

Glad that the director seemed to realize the yelling wasn't okay. What did she way about the poop? I'm so incredibly disgusted by that.


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## soccermama (Jul 2, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *veganone* 
Glad that the director seemed to realize the yelling wasn't okay. What did she way about the poop? I'm so incredibly disgusted by that.

She didn't say anything about the poop except "yikes" and "hmmmm". I still cannot get over that.


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## soccermama (Jul 2, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *soccermama* 
Just called daycare and spoke to the assistant director and she said that all will be taken care of this afternoon. She knew who I was talking about and as far as the other teacher that was there at the time that my mom couldn't really pinpoint, they have schedules and know who is where when.

As far as taking my DS out of this school, we're in the process of putting our house on the market in the next week or so and moving to a completely different area than we currently live in. He will be in a new school soon.

Called H and told him that I spoke to daycare and he was okay with it except that he said that he didn't want us to be viewed as the "complaining family". I assured him that we wouldn't and that daycare directors welcome things like this. I had posted a thread about two weeks ago about questionable potty training tactics and a little boy being embarrassed because he had an accident..... ALL of these things need to be brought to the attention of the director - no matter how big or how small.


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## alisonwolfe (May 6, 2009)

is it possible that the "i told you not to do that!" yelling was a caretaker yelling at a child for pooping on the floor?

my husband and i have raised our voices in the past, and i won't lie, we'll probably do it again... but for someone else to yell at my child, particularily when i'm PAYING them, is not tolerable... with the exception of my child pulling down his pants, pooping on the floor, after being told not to...

glad to hear that you spoke to the director. i would've been furious!


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## vegemamato (Jul 4, 2007)

sorry, but:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alisonwolfe* 
my child pulling down his pants, pooping on the floor, after being told not to...











for some reason, that image just hit me


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## soccermama (Jul 2, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alisonwolfe* 
is it possible that the "i told you not to do that!" yelling was a caretaker yelling at a child for pooping on the floor?

my husband and i have raised our voices in the past, and i won't lie, we'll probably do it again... but for someone else to yell at my child, particularily when i'm PAYING them, is not tolerable... with the exception of my child pulling down his pants, pooping on the floor, after being told not to...

glad to hear that you spoke to the director. i would've been furious!

No because the yelling was going on in a separate room than where the poop was found. God, I know my DS is only 3, but for him to POINT OUT the poop on the floor - actually see it there instead of the toilet. I wondering what HE was thinking???


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## pammysue (Jan 24, 2004)

No, it is NOT ok for the teachers to be yelling. I have worked in child care for many years and I have never (and never would) work at a center where that was acceptable.

And, WTH is up with the poop on the floor? My child would not go back and I would probably call the health dept.

I would not hesitate to talk to the director and I would be looking for new arrangements.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *angelpie545* 
the directors were just in it for the money.

I hear/see people say that and I just don't get it. I am a manager at a center and I make good money _compared to the rest of the industry_ but I am definitely not in it for the money. No one I know works in child care "for the money." You can make more money as a cashier at Aldis


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## angelpie545 (Feb 23, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pammysue* 
No, it is NOT ok for the teachers to be yelling. I have worked in child care for many years and I have never (and never would) work at a center where that was acceptable.

And, WTH is up with the poop on the floor? My child would not go back and I would probably call the health dept.

I would not hesitate to talk to the director and I would be looking for new arrangements.

I hear/see people say that and I just don't get it. I am a manager at a center and I make good money _compared to the rest of the industry_ but I am definitely not in it for the money. No one I know works in child care "for the money." You can make more money as a cashier at Aldis


I know, saying some are just in it for the money *is* a horrible thing to say, but having witnessed it myself, I can say for sure it happens. At one particular chain center I worked at, directors were given bonuses for having a certain amount of children enrolled, even beyond the point of maximum occupancy. Neither of those directors cared to hire teachers who had their degrees, nor enforce the lesson plans we all had to do (many teachers did not do them, nor did they maintain the schedule). We were always struggling to remain within legal student/teacher ration. It was insanity.


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

it would depend on why she was yelling and how often it happened and what exactly was she saying.

poop on the floor . . . um . . .completely unacceptable. no way my kids would be going back. I mean if if someone had just pooped and they were in the middle of some sort of cleaning procedure it would be one thing but your mom was able to pick it up and dispose of it without anyone noticing . . . eeewwww.


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## StephandOwen (Jun 22, 2004)

The poop on the floor is unacceptable. And, honestly, as a daycare worker I can't figure out HOW they didn't notice?!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *phathui5* 
When you work in childcare, taking care of the children you're watching is your *job*. Yelling at them is akin to a cashier yelling at a customer in a store.

I agree with this. But I also have to question- was the teacher *yelling* or raising her voice? When I work in the infant room I'm all cool and calm and never raise my voice (unless a baby has crawled to the door and someone is trying to enter- then I'll yell "HOLD ON" so the baby doesn't get knocked on the head with the door). In the 1 year old room, I'm calm and cool and never raise my voice.

Put me in the 2 year old room and... phew. By that age I'm out-numbered (ten 2 year olds with just me as an adult). It can get LOUD in there. Very loud. I don't *yell* at the kids, but I do have to raise my voice. If I talk in my normal voice none of the kids would hear (except the ones who were right by me). So I do have to raise my voice. And I'm well aware that if the windows to my class are open then everyone outside can hear. Fortunately all of our parents are understanding and know that I'm not yelling at their kids- I'm raising my voice to be heard above the crowd. Of course, if I'm close enough to the light switch I just turn that off and it gets the kids silenced. But if I'm changing a diaper on the other side of the room and I need their attention, I'll raise my voice.

But the poop on the floor... totally unacceptable and so disgusting.


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## SquishyKitty (Jun 10, 2005)

Talk to the director before you outright pull your child.

We had an issue with DS's daycare, but with the director involved it was determined that it was one individual, not the whole center. She was fired, and we never had another issue after that.

I would find out what's really going on. Sometimes people get hired at daycare centers because it's a job they can bring their child to, but in reality they just aren't cut out for the job. Preschoolers and Toddlers are notoriously the hardest rooms to manage, so it takes a very strong, energetic, and in control person to run them. If that's not happening, that person needs to be moved.


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## soccermama (Jul 2, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SquishyKitty* 
Talk to the director before you outright pull your child.

We had an issue with DS's daycare, but with the director involved it was determined that it was one individual, not the whole center. She was fired, and we never had another issue after that.

I would find out what's really going on. Sometimes people get hired at daycare centers because it's a job they can bring their child to, but in reality they just aren't cut out for the job. Preschoolers and Toddlers are notoriously the hardest rooms to manage, so it takes a very strong, energetic, and in control person to run them. If that's not happening, that person needs to be moved.

I never encountered any sort of problem when DS was in the toddler room. But now that he's in the 'big building' with 3 year olds and 4 year olds, it's been a different story.
While I talked to the assistant director yesterday and she assured me that it would be taken care of yesterday afternoon, but was does 'taken care of' mean, exactly? A warning? Getting fired? Getting moved to a different classroom? I'm not sure. But I do feel confident that something was said and that this was not overlooked as just another complaint.


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## EnviroBecca (Jun 5, 2002)

I agree that both things are unacceptable. With the yelling, I could see it as a case of one teacher having a particularly bad day, but it's still something to be addressed--other ways to handle a bad day. Poop on the floor is horrifying.

Can you or your husband drop by at the school at times of day when you normally wouldn't be there? That will give you some idea of what's going on when they don't expect you to see it....


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## soccermama (Jul 2, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *EnviroBecca* 







I agree that both things are unacceptable. With the yelling, I could see it as a case of one teacher having a particularly bad day, but it's still something to be addressed--other ways to handle a bad day. Poop on the floor is horrifying.

Can you or your husband drop by at the school at times of day when you normally wouldn't be there? That will give you some idea of what's going on when they don't expect you to see it....

H will actually be picking up DS earlier than normal this Friday to take him to his parents house for a sleepover. We'll see if we encounter the same scenario again.


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## vegemamato (Jul 4, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *EnviroBecca* 

Can you or your husband drop by at the school at times of day when you normally wouldn't be there? That will give you some idea of what's going on when they don't expect you to see it....









:

I not only gave parents _permission_ to 'drop-in' but I made it a point to encourage surprise visits







The daycare where my daughter was abused did NOT let parents come in (other than pick-up), unless notice was given. The woman claimed that it was too stressful for the kids who's mom/dad wasn't there but, honestly, after having so many of these visits in my own child care, I NEVER had a little one react negatively to someone else's parent coming.

I would probably try to show up early every few days until you're feeling comfortable too..


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## fruitfulmomma (Jun 8, 2002)

Well, I hope it is not standard (and the mess on the floor? Yuck!), but sadly I have witnessed it more than once. We don't do daycare, but there is one next door to the library we take our children to sometimes and I have heard them yelling and cussing around the children.


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## pammysue (Jan 24, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *fruitfulmomma* 
I have heard them yelling and cussing around the children.

Swearing around the children!?! Next time you hear it can you please make an anonymous call to the licensing agency? The should make a surprise visit and investigate the complaint. Please do it for those children.

Here is the information on how to make a complaint in Colorado.









_Colorado Department of Human Services, Division of Child Care
1575 Sherman St., 1st Floor
Denver, CO 80203-1714
(303) 866-5958 or 1-800-799-5876_

Quote:


Originally Posted by *angelpie545* 
I know, saying some are just in it for the money *is* a horrible thing to say, but having witnessed it myself, I can say for sure it happens. At one particular chain center I worked at, directors were given bonuses for having a certain amount of children enrolled, even beyond the point of maximum occupancy. Neither of those directors cared to hire teachers who had their degrees, nor enforce the lesson plans we all had to do (many teachers did not do them, nor did they maintain the schedule). We were always struggling to remain within legal student/teacher ration. It was insanity.

I am pretty sure I know the company you are talking about and it makes me so sad that thousands of children attend that completely substandard care. I have heard some horror stories.


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