# It's December, November 05 mamas!!!



## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Last month...

Happy birthday month to Winter and Brynn and Noah!!!

Love and hugs to DiD, and I hope your wedding day is everything you dreamed of







.

I'm currently sitting in my living room looking out into the shell of our new kitchen







: We have a big, big hole in the wall now, and the plasterboard is up but we're still waiting on the plasterer to come and finish it off, then the electrician, the gas man and the plumber are going to come and make it all electricalised and gas-ised and plumbed and then I MIGHT have a new kitchen in time for Xmas. Even if we don't, we have somewhere to put the table so life is not going to be totally unbearable, and as long as this babe keeps cooking for most of January, the new bathroom for dad should be done as well before the baby's out. It's going to be tight, though, it really is.

I got woken up at 6am by a snuffly toddler, who couldn't decide whether she wanted to be awake or asleep. Cuddles didn't work, so we're curled up on the sofa with a brother, a doll, a bowl of popcorn and the insistence that she loves cake







: It would be so nice if she had different words for food- we still have cake, coke, cheese or chicken







: She will EAT the healthy stuff, and she doesn't get coke (or she does- squash, and at the moment she's drinking milk or water with apple) just has no verbal concept of it. Gah. It's so embarrassing. She had a haircut this week to try and tame her wispy strands, and looks very tidy, still like a highly demented pixie, but she's been called a boy four times in the last 24 hours.







:


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## HoneyTree (Apr 5, 2005)

Morning, all. I couldn't fall asleep after the 6 a.m. nursings, so thought I'd just pencil in a nap for when I am tired and got out of bed.

I forgot to tell y'all this, but I ran out of time to make Woody a cake, so I went up to the co-op to let him pick a slice of his own dessert. He picked cherry pie. So we went home, put a tiny sliver of it on a plate for him, he wolfed it down and then threw it up.







Helen, you reminded me of this because he didn't associate the throwing up with the pie, just the tastiness, so the past two days he has been telling me whenever he's hungry, "My want pie!"

Amy, Gunther, Barcelona, I've been "listening" to y'all's conversation about parents; I don't have any relationship with my dad, either, and haven't spoken to him in six years. I don't think he even knows I have a child, as I ask my sisters to keep all details of my live private. This is the only way I can imagine it being, so though I occasionally wish my dad didn't have the issues he does, I know that at 58 he's not going to change.









Helen, sounds like your remodeling is coming along swimmingly (I'll knock on wood!). Our current project is putting in a garden where the driveway is now--it's the only place on the lot that gets full sun, so we have to do some soil testing to make sure there's no lead in the soil (leaded gasoline, I read, is the main culprit for lead in soil in urban gardens).


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Gosh, December already! I made a photo book for Jason's mom (she doesn't have internet so she never gets to see my blog) of the highlights of the past 12 months from Brynn's perspective, and it made me realize how quickly this year has passed! I'm kind of in shock that it's going to be 2008 in a matter of weeks. Have y'all started listening to Christmas music? I always do the day after Thanksgiving.









There are so many active discussions right now, so this is going to be a long one...

On the topic of night-weaning and sleep....Brynn has slept horrifically the past 3 nights, so don't get your chasmere yarn out yet, Helen. She's gotten into the lovely habit of tantrum-throwing over just the past few days, so when she doesn't get milkie at any hour of the night, it's hysterical shrieking for a good 10 minutes. Super fun! No, I haven't backed down and nursed her; it's just something we're going to have to work through. Good luck to all of you in the night-weaning process. Oh and *Spughy*, I think you asked if we had tried resolving the sleep issue with me sleeping in a separate room and Jason sleeping with Brynn. I don't think we ever really did it seriously because at the time I didn't feel comfortable denying her milk. So, not, not really.

As for the parent issue (sigh) - *Gunter* I so remember your feelings towards your mom when we were pregnant; I am happy you have worked toward a resolution with her and you feel good about your relationship now. My mom got in touch with me after Brynn was born (we hadn't spoken for ~4 years prior to that, and my request) and we began a very tentative email correspondence that lasted for several months before we talked on the phone. Ultimately I have realized she hasn't changed *at all* but I have just resolved not to have any expectations of her, so I am never disappointed! The gist of it, *barcelona*, is that she married a very abusive man when I was around 7-8, and didn't protect me or herself from his abuse. I lived with my dad from 7 until 13, but then I think when I hit puberty I really felt the need to be with my mom, so I moved down to California to live with them. My high school years were really hell, and it culiminated with me getting married 2 months after I turned 18 (which was also the day I graduated high school) because I needed to get out of the house! I then ended up funding my mom's divorce and move and really began "parenting" her, which was a really f-ed up dynamic that lasted for years. Anyway, the bottom line is that she is VERY immature, selfish, and irresponsible. She has a total "victim" mentality; nothing is *ever* her responsibility or fault, she is super critical of everyone and everything, and just kind of loser, really. I've never truly figured out the nature of her relationship with her parents but she has alluded to the fact that she never felt really loved by her dad, so I guess that's where her story begins. At any rate, I feel that no matter what childhoods we had, it is OUR responsibility to grow and heal ourselves if we need to in order to be healthy parents. But to this point, she has never seen Brynn, though I have invited her twice to come out (she lives in California), so I'm pretty much done offering, and I'm not going to make a trip out there to see her. So there ya have it.

*Helen and Teresa*, those little stories of your toddlers and their food experiences cracked me up!

*Jen*, I hope you are right and that at some point, she will crave affection that isn't booby-related.









*Spughy*, I *love* Rowan's hair cut!!







She looks absolutely adorable.

*Gunter*, I will talk to Victor about getting a print. Is that what you had in mind, or did you mean a digital copy? You can PM me and we'll figure it out.







I am totally flattered that you want a copy!!

*barcelona*, that is so cute that Finley tells you he loves you so much! Brynn signs I Love You a lot, so I actually do get told that probably once a day at least, so I don't feel as bad about not getting cuddles. She also says the most hilariously sweet things, like, "Mama, you are soooo beautiful. Your hair is very soft," or "Dad, you are the *best*!!" It's so sweet.









So yes, Brynnie is going to be 2 on Monday, and I will tell you that it is pretty obvious lately. As I mentioned before, _the tantrums have begun_ and we have found that the only effective way of dealing with them is to first give her a lot of love, empathy, and compassion. We ask how we can help her, if she can tell us what she needs, etc. The answer to everything is "NO!!!" So after a few moments of getting our full attention, we just say, "OK I'm going to go in the kitchen to make a snack. Let me know if I can do anything to help you." She usually runs into her room, throws her pillows and blankets off her bed, and then calms down and comes into wherever we are and is ready to be held. We were both saying this morning that we don't know if that's the "right" way of handling it, but nothing else seems to work, and I think as long as we are showing her love and aren't punishing her for her behaving that way, it should be OK. Are any of the other toddlers going through this? What are y'all doing in response?

The other news I have to share is that Brynn's birthday party is tomorrow (yay!), and we had originally planned to have the party at the zoo but it looks like it's going to rain tomorrow, so we've opted just to go really low-key and have a small get-together at a new coffee house/vegetarian cafe that also has a toddler play area.







(Which *Kavita* so cleverly suggested!) We *really* didn't want to have a party at our house so I think this will be a really good solution.
















Oh and happy wedding day, *DiD*!


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## s_kristina (Aug 9, 2004)

Gunter, I'm currently only measuring ahead by 2 weeks and last time I was a full month up at least. Both my measurements were by the same mw. I do see her back up OB at the end of January, but hopefully that's the only time I have to see anyone else. I'm actually rather irritated with myself that I let her concerns make me worried. I know I got big early on with Joseph and was just huge by the end. I don't have little kids so it should be expected that I would get big. Oh yes I'm also about half gray at this point, but it's not my 30th bday coming up this week.

I'm still trying to figure out what to do with Joseph's hair. It's a huge mess at this point. Getting in his eyes and looking matted in the back in the morning or after naps. It badly needs a trim, but I'm worried if I do it he will either end up looking funny or with a really short cut like dh has. I wish I knew of a decent place around here that does boys cuts. I only know one person I could ask, the mom of Annette's best bud. However her best bud has a crewcut so I don't think I want to know where he got that. Just letting Annette's hair grow long or keeping it somewhat even is much easier then boy hair!

Happy Wedding Day DiD!


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

We have SNOW!!!! Way to usher in December, weather gods. I was going to make a trip down to Port Angeles today, but that seems not such a good idea, because whatever precipitation we get, they get about 5X more and the idea of pushing a stroller around the little hills there in ankle-deep snow just isn't doing much for me this morning.

And last night I went out with some friends to celebrate a good friend's return to SAHM-hood, and I didn't get home til nearly 1 and had quite a good time so I'm not feeling particularly ambitious today







. Oh, and I was naughty last night - DH decided that if I was going out, he'd just go up to his parents for dinner (Rowan was already there) so I drove him up, and his mom was all "would you like dinner here too?" and it was overcooked chicken breast and overcooked green beans and runny mashed potatoes, so I said "oh no, I have to get going" and hopped on the bus and got downtown more than an hour before I was supposed to meet my friends. And I decided that I deserved a *good* dinner so I took myself to a lovely french brasserie for dinner.







hee.

I have a breakfast request for pancakes, so I suppose I should go do something about that. Later!


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## Gunter (May 5, 2005)

i realized that i wrote you all a short novel last night! i will just read along today. we're back home lounging on the floor by the woodstove which is pumping out some nice warmth.


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## Queen of Cups (Aug 29, 2003)

Hello, all! I've been working on Christmas presents today and I decided to get the kids dressed up for a picture for our Christmas card... here's what happened.

Lovely, eh?

I did actually get an amazing picture of them, though, so I'm quite happy. Ellie looks like such a little girl to me, nothing left of a baby.

What's everyone doing to celebrate the various holidays this month? I'm so excited to have our first Christmas in our new home, back in our home state. This will be the first holiday since DH and I started dating that we'll both be living in Virginia! That means that no one will have to travel 1000 miles to see family - YAY! We always go to the Candlelight Christmas Eve service with my parents, and then go to their house and do Christmas with them that night. Christmas morning we'll celebrate at our house (we do Santa stuff), and then we go over to the in-laws later that morning. My in-laws always go way, way overboard with Christmas. They spend a ton of money, but its always really thoughtful wonderful gifts. This year for gifts for family I'm making quilts, making apple butter (the kids help with that), and I do a calendar with pictures of the kids that is their gift to their grandparents, aunts/uncles, great-grandparents.


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## 3for3hb (Jan 13, 2005)

Happy wedding day DiD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Jen, your creativity never ceases to amaze me- and your quilts. I have no idea where you find the time. I love the photos (both of them)

OT, but does anyone have an idiot-proof pattern for dolly dresses? I was going to give Skye's two babies Xmas outfits- at the moment, they live life permanently naked, but I expect that'll change some time. Skye lives as naked as she can, so I shouldn't really be surprised









Spughy, we had hailstones here yesterday- does that count? It was quite cool, I was standing under the skylight in the new kitchen watching them. I can't wait till it snows (which will probably be July 09, based on the way the weather's changing over here.)

Amy, that's what I did with the boys and they aren't majorly traumatised or anything. Skye being Skye, it doesn't work so well with her so I sit near her and describe just HOW upset she is (and talk through what caused the tantrum- you feel really angry that mummy wouldn't let you eat a 2kg bar of chocolate)- and she calms down very quickly and comes and climbs aboard for a cuddle. For her, she needs time in to calm down, rather than time out. (not a Time Out, you understand.)

Oh, photos of the hole in the wall are on the blog







We had a bit of a meh day yesterday- FIL has cellulitis in his hip and has been stuck in bed for the weekend, so we stayed in yesterday to keep him company. Made some snow dough and some roving angels, did some washing and generally chilled out, then discovered that some cretinous little toad has punctured our tyre. Remember how it happened so frequently when we first moved down here? Well, it's happening again, but tyres for this car cost four times as much. Grrr. The angels are great, though (and so is the snow dough- like salt dough, but pure white. Alex made some snowmen and they look great. )


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

It snowed early on this morning and into the beginning of the afternoon. It was amazing and breathtaking and beautiful as I looked outside as I was getting my hair done.
My day was fabulous. Of course I ended up being 15 minutes late, I dropped the train of my dress into a puddle as I got out of the car, the minister called Jim "John" and everyone had to stifle a giggle, Winter spilled red sparkling juice on his white shirt, I tripped over the hem of my petticoat as I was walking down the aisle, but there were some amazing and beautiful moments that I will treasure for the rest of my life. Looking into Jim's eyes as he teared up while I recited my vows, Suriya asleep on his back in the Mei Tai during the ceremony, drinking champagne and dancing with my sisters and my kids, my beautiful niece asking me if I'd save my dress for her when she gets married, the cake and the food and the DJ and the flowers and everything was perfect and fantastic but I am so exhausted. I came home and fell asleep on the couch for two hours. I'm going to try to go to bed and catch up on what sleep I haven't gotten in the last two days. It's over. We're married. It was awesome.


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## Kavita (Dec 7, 2004)

Wow, this is a lot to have caught up with, in just a very short time of not reading!!! Happy December everybody!

Did--congratulations on the wedding!

spughy--yay for taking yourself out on a nice dinner date!









Amy--see ya in the morning if I can get my insomniac *ss to sleep and drag it out of bed in the wee hours!!!!!!

flapjack--good luck with the renovations! that's so stressful. I visited a friend whose kitchen was getting remodeled and it was stressing *me* out just hanging out there for a couple of hours with all that construction going on!







There is something about pregnancy that just stimluates remodeling, I swear--it seems like a ton of the home births I've done have been in the midst of some home construction project. Come to think of it, we had our entire house tiled while I was about 5-6 months pregnant, and DH spent most of my early labor painting and installing floor moldings in the one bedroom where we'd put down bamboo floor.









all the pregnant ladies--love hearing about your growing and glowing selves!

those who are going grey, prematurely or not, lol--this is one area where my youth is holding out rather nicely, I have to admit--even though I am one of the old ladies of the bunch here, I have very little grey hair, although I've started noticing a few more here and there of late.







: But I feel like my skin is getting a wee bit less elastic. I was thinking about this all earlier today, remembering my visit to a dermatologist last year and her response when I asked how my skin was holding up overall in terms of sun damage, the ravages of time, etc., and she said, "your skin looks pretty good--_for your age._" Gulp! I didn't expect the "for your age" part to start mid-thirties!!!!

Regarding tantrums, sleep, nursing, etc. . . We don't really have a problem with Ella sleeping or nursing at night once she's to sleep, she sleeps with me and sleeps pretty much through the night most of the time until about 5 am, and if she does wake up to nurse it's rare and she tends to just nurse for a few minutes and then flop back to bed. However, bedtime and nursing at bedtime have become a huge struggle sometimes. At this point I'm just kind of burned out with it, and feeling like it's an area where I've really screwed things up. She will just nurse and nurse and nurse and nurse and go from side to side every couple of minutes, briefly interrupt to ask for cow milk, take a slug of that, go back to nursing, and on and on for literally an hour or two sometimes, interspersed with goofing around and doing things which seem designed to keep her from falling asleep. Which is bad enough, but I'm starting to sometimes feel really pissed about how pushy she is about it and how she doesn't respect boundaries--I have always been very clear that she is not allowed to twiddle the other side, or even touch the other nipple, while she's nursing, and she still always is trying to grope me. I don't even mind if she just sort of puts her hand on my breast, I just don't want the nipple grabbed. Which she really seems to understand as a distinction, but she is bound and determined to touch the nipple anyway. Like literally, over the course of a couple of minutes, she will sort of sneak her hand over a little bit at a time, almost imperceptibly, just seeing how far she can go, waiting for a reaction from me . . . it's like a flashback to the eighth-grade homecoming dance!







And she just tries to yank my shirt up when she wants to nurse. And she twists and turns and kicks and wiggles in all sorts of ways that really end up killing my nipples. Her latch has never really been ideal I think, but it's been more or less workable, but right now I'm feeling a lot of teeth, which is possibly just because she's teething and kind of biting down harder than she should. And I've been through it and through it with trying to work on nursing manners with her and keeping her from doing things that hurt me, intentionally or accidentally. Lately I have been just feeling really fed up with it, especially because it ends up making me really sore. I don't want to wean her, but I also just am at the point where I don't think it's a positive thing for either of us for me to be just irritated to the point of being increasingly angry with her about the nursing behaviors, especially at bedtime (when I am tired and worn out myself but don't dare relax for a moment, lest I lose a nipple or gain an accidental nipple piercing from a misplaced toddler canine!) Anyway, I've worked on trying to nurse her then get her to fall asleep the rest of the way without nursing, but it's not always very successful. Last night she just nursed for an hour and when I finally couldn't take it anymore I told her that that was enough nursing, and that we were going to go to sleep now with snuggles and she could have more num-nums in the morning. She alternated with accepting stories, songs, back rubs, rocking, foot rubs, tummy rubs, walking, snuggles, resting on the pillow, etc., with asking for num-nums every few minutes and trying to wrestle my shirt up and claw my breast out, and intermittent crying or fussing. She is seriously determined and sneaky too--it's like she's manipulative ninja baby or something--she'll ask for a hug and then come in to hug me and then try to pull my shirt up and latch on!!! Finally after about an hour of this not-fun routine I was about fit to be tied and I ended up taking her in the living room and rocking her and she eventually fell asleep, meanwhile it had been two hours of this drama. DH, who is feeling sick and has gotten very little sleep in the past days, was exhausted and needing to go to bed, instead he came out and we talked about what we're going to do about this situation. So I think we've decided that the game plan is to go cold turkey on the me nursing to sleep at night--she can nurse at bedtime and if she happens to fall asleep during that then okay, but if not, she's then going to DH who will put her to sleep. We tried this tonight--it went fairly well, she wouldn't go to sleep when I was anywhere nearby and finally he took her to the living room and rocked her in the glider and she fussed and demanded mommy for about 30 seconds and then conked out within moments. The bad news was that in the interim I fell asleep in the bedroom for a few minutes, and then when he came back to put her into the bed next to me it woke me up and I wasn't able to get back to sleep. And here I remain, awake.







:

But hey, at least I had a chance to come check up with my beloved nov. 05 mamas without interruption!







:


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## kaspirant (Apr 28, 2006)

It's only December 2nd...and I'm already behind. No fair.

Congrats DiD!!! I can't wait to hear stories and see pics of your special day!!

I come with a question to see if anyone thinks this is a good idea or if I've lost my mind....

We are moving out of state in June. As soon as school is out for both DH and I we are gone. He will be getting a retail job for the summer and then a teaching job in the fall. We are very much looking forward to getting away from this area.

We pay $1300/month for our apartment right now. Insane. It's a house payment in and of itself. We know that. Our lease is up at the end of February and we decided we'd rather find interim housing for February-June than pay the $1500 it will increase to. *Every year they raise my rent $100...for a one year lease, and $200 for month to month which we would have to do.

This doesn't sound too bad except for the fact that Adam only has 3 weeks of paid work left and then will be going to school full-time in January and then in March I'll be out on Maternity leave where I get *reduced* pay. With both of those looming that insane increase in our already insane rent seems ridiculous. Not to mention we need to be SAVING for the big move. *I will be getting 3 paychecks after the move from this school year that will be close to *normal* sized pay. which is really going to help with the move.

However, if we wait for our lease to be up before we move we will be moving the week before I'm due...so either with me 9 months pregnant OR *praying this is not the case* with a small preemie....Neither of those options seems remotely feasible to me.

Okay for the lost my mind part. I found a cabin for rent at the base of the local mountains for $600 a month. It's small, but definitely big enough for our little family for a few short months. I'm seriously thinking about moving us there this month and breaking our lease so that we can have the cheaper rent for 6 months at the cabin and save money...Within 2 months we will have more than made up the cost of the move and breaking our lease and then that's 4 months saving $900 a month. Yeah I can do the math it makes sense.

So I've lost my mind and I think that this Christmas break we are going to be spending it moving...the good thing is we are going to pack up some things *memories and books and things* and leave them packed for the 6 months so that they will be ready for the move in June and we will be able to keep all the boxes we use for this move for the move later so it's not like it's going to cost all that much to actually move us. The cabin is only 15 miles from our apartment so it won't be a hard move at all.

Yep I'm certifiably insane.

If you were in my shoes, would you do it?


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Kaspirant, having gone through 2 moves in the past 6 months, I would say go with your plan if it seems like the best solution. Space out your moves a bit so that you forget how hard it is before you do it again!







Is there any way you could sub-lease your apartment for the remainder of your contract?

We are home from our really lovely and fun party this morning. Having it at the coffee house was such a great idea, and I think it worked out great. The kids all had a really good time in the play areas, the parents all got to just hang out and talk and drink coffee, and then of course we had muffins and gifts, which was wonderful. It was perfect!









This time two years ago, I was at the birth center....with still 13+ hours to go!


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Kaspirant, if the cabin had heating I'd do it in a heartbeat. Big vote for yes.

Amy, happy birthing day to you, mama. Those hours might have been hard, but she is so worth it







Oh, and on tantrums- we did what you're doing with the boys, of giving them a bit of space, and it worked OK and they don't appear to be permanently scarred or anything. Skye refuses to consider doing anything on her own, so we do a time in instead- I describe what's happening (you feel incredibly angry because I won't let you eat four slices of cake at once) and just sit still near her and breathe deeply and she comes and climbs in for a hug.

Kavita, it's good to hear from you, even if you did sacrifice sleep to do it. On mature skin, I've had mature skin since I was 24 or 25- definitely by the time I started working at Lush- so don't sweat the small stuff. Also, a lot of women our age have absolutely horrendous skin as the perimenopause rears its ugly head, so- you know- that really is a compliment









Jen, your kids are adorable and my boys laughed at the picture, then stuck their fingers up their own noses.

DiD, congratulations







Go and sleep.


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## kaspirant (Apr 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
Kaspirant, if the cabin had heating I'd do it in a heartbeat. Big vote for yes.

wood burning stove and gas heaters...I am really thinking we are doing this...I feel







:


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Kaspirant, it seems the only reason not to do is the whole issue of adding something ELSE onto the Christmas season, and I think you'll feel better from a whole lotta sides if you ditch a big part of the food/gifts/visitation madness and just move. It sounds like a good deal. Make it your Christmas present to yourselves.

The weather has gone from fun to miserable - the snow is now rain - big sloppy blatty rain - and it took me until 11:30 to get out of my jammies today. I'm not amused. At some point I'm going to have to walk the dog today, and I think I'll actually do it in a quasi-jogging fashion so the cold damp air actually feels good at some point.

Amy, happy birthing day!

Jen - I laughed at the fingers-up-the-noses picture. I think you should send that one out.







I mean, the other one is adorable, but that first one shows real, I dunno, personality?









Congratulations, DiD!!!! I'm glad it went well and now you're blissfully all married and all.







And I'll be the first to start clamouring for PICTURES!!!!

Oh, and Kavita - I totally hear you on the nursing manners thing. Rowan's not a twiddler, she's a picker. I have some small moles on my neck and she likes to pick at them while she nurses. If not my neck, and bit of roughness on my hands, or she scratches my stomach, or runs her fingernails down the skin between my breasts, looking for any bit of unevenness that she can dig her little claws into. It drives me INSANE. But, repeated requests to stop doing that DO now eventually result in her jamming both her hands next to her body for some time. Sometimes they come out again, sometimes she just falls asleep. But it's getting manageable. And she knows better, now, than to get all picky for the 5 am boobies, because mummy gets REALLY irate at that and forcibly holds onto her hands to stop it.







Maybe not so gentle parenting, that, but it's better than flinging her off me and running out of the room.


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## MelW (Jan 13, 2005)

Happy December, everyone! My DH has been doing end of term work all weekend on the computer, and I finally begged for some time to catch up. I'm also slooooowly accepting the season change- we ate the very last of my tomatoes that have been ripening on the windowsill today, and the local farmer's market has moved indoors and is fully into winter vegetables. I always have a bit of denial at this time of year, since I'm a summer lover at heart. And I kind of suck at not craving expensive imported foods all winter long...

DID~ Congrats on the wedding! Wishing you (and Jim/John) many, many happy years together!

Kaspirant~ Another vote for cabin!

QofC~ I love both of the photos, too. I'm another member of your fan club- I'm always impressed with how good you are at updating photos and your blog. I've just started a Neela blog for family, but really doubt my willpower to keep up with it.

Kavita~ Can I suggest the no cry sleep solution toddler book? She has some ideas that really start working around this age- stuff that I laughed at before for it's nerdy preschool teacher enthusiasm (make a bedtime routine chart, etc.), but that seems to work for some kids. I never, ever thought that I would stoop to "magical" pajamas for night-weaning, but did and am grateful.

Amy~ Neela has started some self-imposed time-outs, too. She actually doesn't tantrum much for a two year old (perhaps she got it out of her system last year!), but does stomp off to her bedroom to cool down when she's frustrated or mad. Lately time-ins and talking about things make her really frustrated, so when I started suggesting that she take some time to be alone she really took to it. It's really funny, and I have to try hard not to laugh when she does a big pout and says "You're bothering me; I'm going to my room" and stomps off.

We have my MIL and two BILs coming for Christmas, and are saving our sanity (and relationships) by renting cabins on the Oregon coast an hour drive from here. We'll have a kitchen to cook meals, and hopefully can have a low-key few days together.


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

As promised:

Wedding pics


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## MelW (Jan 13, 2005)

And my new work in progress: http://www.bobeela.blogspot.com
(the camera batteries are currently re-charging, so I can't add the video about Neela's new imaginary friend bananaphobia)


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Lovely photos, Lydia







. I feel all nostalgic for my wedding day now... but you have a gorgeous family.


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
Lovely photos, Lydia







. I feel all nostalgic for my wedding day now... but you have a gorgeous family.

Thank you Helen. I made it through the entire wedding and reception without shedding a tear but now that I'm going through all these pictures I'm getting a little steamy. I want to do it all again!


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## kaspirant (Apr 28, 2006)

DiD- Pictures are stunning. I'm so glad everything was perfect for you. I know how stressful it's been on ya!

Well ladies, tomorrow after work we are going to go look at the cabin and see what we think. I am pretty convinced though that this is a done deal and we are moving. I'm going to ask the guy we will be renting from if we can start moving our things up just after Christmas but actually *move in* the first of the year. I'm so blessed that this is all coming together though, because it was a random thought conversation Friday as DH and I were coming home from work and now it seems to be a reality. We spent yesterday boxing up all our CD's, books and DVD's. We have one room of the house pretty much all packed right now and just moving through packing things. We are leaving DS's things until the very very end to pack so his stuff is all that is accessible right now in our living room. I hope this goes super smooth. DH's parent's are being insanely non-supportive in this, I just really feel it will be best for us.

Okay enough about me....anyone getting their beads yet?!?!


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## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

congrats lydia, on your beautiful wedding! thank you for sharing those pictures.. everyone (especially you and the littles) looked so beautiful.

im back to little fort for another 3 weeks tomorow.. ive been trying for days but we have been "snowed in", so i probably will only pop in a time or two before the 20th or so of december when ill be back in vancouver till this baby is born. it feels like an eternity away, but im looking forward to getting home and getting crafty and nesty...3 weeks and so much to do!

so, love to you all this december season...


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## Kavita (Dec 7, 2004)

Mel--you may absolutely suggest the book! And I shall heed your suggestion and go find it! I had it in the back of my consciousness somewhere that that was there and that perhaps I should check it out but I have partly been in a little bit of denial about this, or reluctant to make it into a big problem, but it has been making me a bit nutty at times.

Flapjack--my skin is actually not so bad, with the exception of the fact that I have rosacea. Which seems to be heeding its ugly head a lot lately for some reason. I have some Rx cream for it, but don't really use it because it's slightly irritating and also I'm lazy.







And I keep thinking there should be some natural solution but so far haven't really run across anything.

DiD--briefly just looked through your pics and you look very radiantly happy!

kaspirant--if you think you will be comfortable and happy there and won't have any really nasty ramifications for breaking the lease then I'd do it.

Oh, and I meant to mention the other day, that I did get my beads! Thanks to my fellow swappers! It was weird, because it's been so long since I sent mine (no criticism here, I was one of the people holding things up in the first place) and I sort of almost kind of forgot about them or at least wasn't actively anticipating them. My point being, that it was a really weird few minutes for me when I got the mail, because here was this package for me addressed in my own handwriting from someone I couldn't identify, and I didn't remember sending a self-addressed envelope to anyone at all, and just could not figure out where this came from and where this mystery person got an envelope from me that I'd addressed to myself.







: Then I had a flash that it must be the beads and all became clear, but it was kind of freaky and surreal for a few minutes there.

Well, on the heels of complaining bitterly about my child not sleeping, she is now asleep as of about 8:45. Which is probably the earliest she's ever gone to bed at night, EVER. I woke her up at about 9 for Brynn's party, and she was playing and having fun there, and then I took her home at 1 and dropped her off for DH to watch while I went to two midwifery related meetings, lasting from 1 until 8!! She only napped for maybe half an hour or 45 minutes while I was gone, so she was tired by the time I got here. I came home, nursed her, she conked out, and I put her into bed!! So I will set a loud and blaring alarm for the morning and drag us out of bed again, and hopefully this can be the start of a new sleep pattern for us. Maybe she just needs more activity and stimulation during the day to wear her out, so I am going to work on that too.


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

*HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BRYNN!!!*

Kavita, so glad to hear about the early sleep last night. I'm wondering what time she woke up this morning though.







Hope it's a trend that continues!


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Happy Birthday Brynn!!!!


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## Kavita (Dec 7, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **Amy** 
*HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BRYNN!!!*

Kavita, so glad to hear about the early sleep last night. I'm wondering what time she woke up this morning though.







Hope it's a trend that continues!


Yes, happy "real" birthday! 

Well, I set the alarm for 9 and we both got up but then went back to lie down for milkies and snuggles for a bit. So morning wasn't terrible--but she did have a lot more wake-ups during the night than usual. I think it will take a while to smooth out. Of course I ended up talking with DH and reading a bit so I didn't get as much sleep as I should have. Hopefully she'll nap at an hour where I can nap too!


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## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

happy birthday brynn amelia! and amy!


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Happy Birthday Brynn!!!


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

Happy birthday Brynn!!!!!!


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## Gunter (May 5, 2005)

just a quick pop in to say Happy Birthday to Brynn!!! Happy Labor Day to you, Amy!

I have loved being a mama with you since we were preggo. You are dear to me although we've never even met IRL. Thanks for being my DDC friend!


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## Phoenix_Rising (Jun 27, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
It's so embarrassing. She had a haircut this week to try and tame her wispy strands, and looks very tidy, still like a highly demented pixie, but she's been called a boy four times in the last 24 hours.







:

If it makes you feel any better Keagan is constantly being called a girl









Quote:


Originally Posted by *DreamsInDigital* 
It snowed early on this morning and into the beginning of the afternoon. It was amazing and breathtaking and beautiful as I looked outside as I was getting my hair done.
My day was fabulous.

Lydia, I'm so gald that your day went so well - the pics are lovely









Quote:


Originally Posted by *kaspirant* 
If you were in my shoes, would you do it?

I'm a little late chiming in but yep, I'd do it too









Quote:


Originally Posted by *kaspirant* 
Okay enough about me....anyone getting their beads yet?!?!

Got them on Saturday! I can't wait to decide what I want to do with them.

And HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BRYNN!


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Got my beads this morning







Thankyou so much, everyone, they're beautiful. I can't help being struck by the way that both sets of beads from you (from us?) have such similar colourways, and this time, it feels like everyone was feeling bluey-green and mellow







Lots of viriditas. And







for kaspirant for organising.
Do you remember when Steve had the accident with the clippers and accidentally scalped Alex? Well, he did the same thing to Isaac tonight. I'm mad







:


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## barcelona (May 1, 2006)

I'm so behind! Ah!

But for starters, HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRYNN!, and Happy Birthing Day, Amy.

And DiD, CONGRATULATIONS! Thank you for sharing the pictures. You look radiant and beautiful, and your children are stunning. It looks and sounds like it was a truly special day to mark the rest of your life with Jim.

And Helen, I think the two of us sent almost the exact same bead! I felt extra-connected to you seeing that








And I'm another one to chime in with the fact that Finley is constantly being called a girl, like Keagan!

Kaspirant, another (very late) vote for the cabin!

Fern, I hope you have a delightful few weeks back home nesting and getting ready to meet your new little one!!!

Happy December, everyone. I hope everyone is feeling festive and warm and glad.

No real updates here, except that Finley is too cute for words. Nighttime is starting to become a bit of an issue, but I'm not completely ready to face it yet...still hoping it will resolve itself.

My MIL is visiting this week, driving us a bit batty, but we're very grateful for the help she's offering, mostly watching Finley while we can have some rare time together and/or get stuff done around the house.

Hugs to all!


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *barcelona* 
And I'm another one to chime in with the fact that Finley is constantly being called a girl, like Keagan!










:

Please, everyone, if you have a spare moment can you send the new babe some bald and hairless vibes? If this one is born with a full head of hair, I think I'm going to cry...


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Ok I just have to post this. DD was playing "computer", sitting on her little stool and typing on the windowsill in the kitchen. She said she was writing to her friends, then writing to Daisy...

DH: Rowan, would you like your very own computer - a VTech Smile?

(sound of me gagging)

DD: No thank you Daddy.

DH: Rowan, you're a very polite little girl.

DD: EXCUSE ME! I'm not a little girl. I'm a baby.

Yesterday she ran around proclaiming "I'm a baby human!" a lot.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Skye is very clear on the contradictory nature of being a 2- not a baby, not yet a big girl.


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## Queen of Cups (Aug 29, 2003)

Ellie tells me all the time that she's a baby! It probably helps that her big brother calls her a baby all the time, too.


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## Phoenix_Rising (Jun 27, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
Got my beads this morning







Thankyou so much, everyone, they're beautiful. *I can't help being struck by the way that both sets of beads from you (from us?) have such similar colourways, and this time, it feels like everyone was feeling bluey-green and mellow*







Lots of viriditas.


You know I thought the same thing when I opened it


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## 3for3hb (Jan 13, 2005)

Wowee, I'm behind on posts.

Quick question for all you midwives: (and non-midwives







)
When is exposure to Fifth's disease a concern for pregnancy? Just in the first tri, right?
Willem has the beginnings of a cold (very arsinecum-like in nature homeopathically) and his cheeks are all red now. I don't know if he's just had too many egg-containing things in the course of the day (because that sometimes gives him red cheeks) or if maybe he was exposed at school. I'll google it but I just wanted to know if any of you knew


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Thanks for all of the birthday wishes.







We had a really great day yesterday; we took Brynn to Dinosaur World, which (as you can imagine) was a big hit! I've posted a blog and pics about our festivities.

*Gunter*, that was so sweet. Thank you.







: Oh, did you want me to find out about getting a print or digital copy of the sketch?

*Jen*, that picture of the kids was too funny!! It reminded me of this one we took last year. I really wanted to send it in our Christmas cards but DH flat-out refused. He actually wanted me to destroy the picture altogether, but I never did.







The picture of Ellie and Killie smiling was beautiful, though! They are so photogenic.

*Spughy*, re: the nursing manners, you need to read this thread!

*Kaspirant*, what's going on with the cabin? Any news?

We set up our Nativity table today, which was fun. So far we've got Joseph and pregnant Mary and the donkey starting off on their journey. I am going to try to build a little stable this week, and they will walk a step closer to it each night. We also have an Advent calendar that Brynn loves, which is fun for me; I always loved them when I was little too. We'll get our tree this weekend, and then I will be baking pumpkin bread and making fudge to send out as gifts. I think we'll be having visitors every weekend from now until after Christmas, so that is going to be fun. I really love the Holidays, and it's so much more fun this year now that Brynn is aware of what's going on. Oh, and tomorrow night we'll put some chocolate coins and maybe a couple of other treats in her shoe for St. Nicholas day on the 6th. Fun!









Oh, do any of you do Santa Claus? If so, how do you go about it?


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## Queen of Cups (Aug 29, 2003)

We do Santa. I don't know what exactly you mean by "go about it" but we have some gifts that are from DH and I to the kids, and some that are from Santa to the kids. (I even use different wrapping paper!) DH reads "Twas the Night Before Christmas" to the kids on Christmas Eve and we leave out cookies and coffee and a note for Santa.







Last year we went to a party where one of my friend's uncles came dressed as Santa and we took a picture, but I don't know that we'll try to do a mall or anything this year for the kids to see Santa. Killy hasn't asked about it, so I doubt we will - DH hates crowds. That's about it, we don't make a HUGE deal about it ahead of time. Everyone keeps asking Killy if Santa's going to bring him toys, and he told me grandmother, "Yes! Santa will bring me presents because I'm not going to say poo-poo anymore!" (we've been struggling with preschool potty-mouth, a lot of poo-poo, doo-doo, and such at non-appropriate times. I hate to be old-fashioned and restrictive about language, but would anyone appreciate being called "mommy-poo-poo?") He must have picked up at preschool the idea that Santa brings toys if you're "good" because we don't bother with that concept in our mentionings of Santa.

Oh, and Ellie has picked up the potty mouth and thinks its hilarious to yell, "Stinky bottom!" at the grocery store.







Our bizarre solution is to ask the kids to yell "coco" instead, and it usually works.

Ellie has also developed this weird way of saying Mommy, starting a couple weeks ago she says, "Man-ny" which honestly bugs the crap out of me! She has excellent articulation otherwise, I don't know why she's gotten into this weird habit. I tried correcting her for a few days, but she's just imprinted on saying it that way, so I'm trying to get her to call me "Mama" or "Mom" instead. So, now she either calls me "Man-ny" or "Ma!"


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

We don't "do" Santa but Winter knows who he is. He's too scared to sit on the mall Santa's lap so we're just sort of ignoring the whole santa aspect of Christmas until he's a little older and can handle the idea without being afraid.

I got my beads yesterday! They are gorgeous!!!!

Tomorrow's my sweet little baby boy's birthday. How can he be two????


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

*HAPPY BIRTHDAY WINTER!!!!! And happy birthing day, Lydia!*

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Queen of Cups* 
We do Santa. I don't know what exactly you mean by "go about it"

Oh I just meant, what are your traditions, what do you tell the kids, etc? We are still trying to figure out what we want to do. Jason is *very* against "lying" to her by telling her that Santa comes and gives gifts (he was traumatized when he found out that Santa wasn't real (OK, this is random but I just misspelled Santa as I typed it and realized that Santa is an anagram for Satan. Yikes!) - anyway, so he doesn't want to perpetrate that myth. I thought we might do St. Nicholas (which is tonight) and leave her some candy in her shoe, but he said that's a lie too....so I don't think we are going to do anything of that nature. One idea I had was to teach her about St. Nicholas and how he bacame Santa, and that he loved children and helped those in need, so maybe on Christmas Eve we will "be" Santa as a family and take gifts and clothes to the Home of the Innocents for the little orphan children. I would really like to do that, and make the focus of Santa the *giving* instead of receiving. We are really trying to counter the commercial aspect of the holidays, so we are limiting ourselves to 3 gifts each, and one has to be hand-made. I'm also making little gifts for our extended family rather than buying stuff, and then the charity thing with my side of the family.

Speaking of gifts, I just realized last night that I hadn't heard from my mother on Brynn's birthday - no call or email or anything. She usually sends gifts for holidays and of course her birthday, so I was a little surprised and thought it was weird. Then she sends me an email this morning saying that she had thought that Brynn's b-day was the 6th!!!!!!!!!!!!! I could NOT BELIEVE it! This is my mother's only grandchild - how could she not have this date committed to memory? Not only that but I have had this birthday countdown ticker on Brynn's blog for the past two months!! I mean, really Mom!







:


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## 3for3hb (Jan 13, 2005)

Lydia, You are one HOT mama!!! Beautiful pics! I loved your dress!!! Congrats again.


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## Queen of Cups (Aug 29, 2003)

Amy, I have a friend who just explained to her kids that Santa symbolizes the Spirit of Christmas and Giving and that some people believe there's a real Santa and some people don't, and out of the two that were old enough to understand one decided he believed in Santa and one decided he didn't. I had a teacher in high school who was convinced that part of the reason Americans are so innovative and creative is because we're raised in this culture of Santa - Eater Bunny - Tooth Fairy and all the focus on pretending creates creative people. I don't know that I believe that, but I thought it was kind of neat. (Although, obviously, he was pretty biased toward Americans!) DH and I both grew up with families that did Santa and both of us came to the gradual realization that there wasn't a real Santa, but enjoyed continuing to play along - to this day! My in-laws still do "Santa" every year!


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## Kavita (Dec 7, 2004)

Well, I will chime in on the holiday discussion to say,

Happy Hanukkah!!


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

Happy birthday Winter!!!!







How did he get so big????


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## Phoenix_Rising (Jun 27, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **Amy** 
*Jen*, that picture of the kids was too funny!! It reminded me of this one we took last year. I really wanted to send it in our Christmas cards but DH flat-out refused. He actually wanted me to destroy the picture altogether, but I never did.









I'm really curious to see this pic but the link says the session timed out.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kavita* 
Well, I will chime in on the holiday discussion to say,

Happy Hanukkah!!



























































Happy Hanukkah









Happy birthday Winter, and happy birthing day, Lydia!


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

That's weird, Susannah. It works when I click it. Maybe try this one?


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

That's weird, Susannah. It works when I click it. Maybe try this one.


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## kaspirant (Apr 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **Amy** 

*Kaspirant*, what's going on with the cabin? Any news?

YES! We put in our notice at the apartment and are moving in the new place the between christmas and new years!!! I'm so excited!!! This is the most amazing adventure!!

We called our families and told them we have jumped off a cliff (a proverbial cliff of course) and turned in our 30 day notice at the apartment. We haven't been *inside* the cabin yet. We are going on Saturday, but we went up and explored the property. I'll post pics. It's cute and cozy. We are going to be in a tiny tiny space, but it's short term and we'll be saving nearly $900 a month. Totally going to be worth it!!!

Quote:


Originally Posted by **Amy** 
We set up our Nativity table today, which was fun. So far we've got Joseph and pregnant Mary and the donkey starting off on their journey. I am going to try to build a little stable this week, and they will walk a step closer to it each night. We also have an Advent calendar that Brynn loves, which is fun for me; I always loved them when I was little too. We'll get our tree this weekend, and then I will be baking pumpkin bread and making fudge to send out as gifts. I think we'll be having visitors every weekend from now until after Christmas, so that is going to be fun. I really love the Holidays, and it's so much more fun this year now that Brynn is aware of what's going on. Oh, and tomorrow night we'll put some chocolate coins and maybe a couple of other treats in her shoe for St. Nicholas day on the 6th. Fun!









Oh, do any of you do Santa Claus? If so, how do you go about it?

I'm so jealous...I love my nativity but my ex is holding it hostage right now adn I don't know if or when I'll ever see it again. We have a ton of holiday traditions almost all on hold this year since we are moving. (I posted a bunch of our usual things on the Holiday Traditions thread here. I am so looking forward to a Holiday season at home. We do Santa, but he's not a big focus of our Christmas.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kavita* 
Well, I will chime in on the holiday discussion to say,

Happy Hanukkah!!



























































Happy Hanukkah!!! We didn't get our menorah out this year







But, I think I'm gonna try to dig it out tonight. I miss the tradition of celebrating...but with moving *in two weeks* I can't convince myself to decorate the apartment when I'm boxing everything else up. We also are sad that we aren't sure how to have latkes with Jacob allergic to eggs







I need to google vegan latkes and see if I can figure out a way to make them *edible* without egg.


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## Phoenix_Rising (Jun 27, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **Amy** 
That's weird, Susannah. It works when I click it. Maybe try this one?

Yup, it works. And of course so does the first one you posted now. Seriously, what is up with me today?







:









ETA That is a GREAT photo. I think you should use it this year


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Happy birthday, Winter! And Happy Hanukkah, to everyone who celebrates...

The good news? Our builders are hoping to be done everything by Xmas. The bad news? My kitchen is covered in a 3" layer of dust...

Happy cabin days, kaspirant! Oh, and may the universe send you a beautiful nativity before next year...


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Can I ask y'all for your thoughts on what to do about my mom? As I posted yesterday, she emailed me and said that she hadn't sent anything for Brynn because she mistakenly thought her birthday was today instead of Monday. In her email yesterday, she said "I will call today to wish her a happy birthday." Well, she never called. I left my phone on til 9:00, when Brynn went to bed, and then I turned it off. My mom is pacific time, so I guess she could have called after we went to bed but I haven't turned my phone on yet this morning.

Right now part of me feels like, "Well, she sucks. What else is new?" and letting it blow over, and another part of me feels like calling her out on it. I mean, "Grandparents, forgetting a birthday? They LIVE for that shit!" I guess my struggle is in feeling like my mom isn't going to change, and our relationship is already so weird as it is; do I want to add more tension? On the other hand, if I don't honestly communicate my dismay, I feel like I'm just going along with her twisted perception of reality, which is part of the reason I stopped talking to her 5 years ago in the first place.

So I don't really know what to do. Any thoughts?

Helen, that's great about your kitchen! Oh and I tried your technique of tantrum-calming and it really seems to help. I remember that's the main tenent of the Happiest Toddler on the Block, but I had forgotten about that til you mentioned it.









Kaspirant, that is awesome about the cabin!

And Happy Hannukah to alll!


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## 3for3hb (Jan 13, 2005)

I don't have the time to reply to everyone/everything I want to. I've been sort of lost in a funk (I predicted it post Thanksgiving, eh?), have had a horrible infection that I've had to deal with (and uncomfortably so) and am so behind on everything holiday related. Our tradition is to read an advent Christmas book each Sunday in December, decorate the house, make cookies, fill a thermos with hot cocoa or cider and ride around (or walk around now that we have a double stroller and live in a walking type neighborhood) to look at Christmast lights at least a couple times a week. We've done nothing but halfway decorate the office so far. Oh, wait, I did the outdoor bulletin board for the office too and it was holiday themed so I guess that counts for something. And dh strung the lights outside so I guess from the exterior we look like we're on track.
I've only made one gift thus far - felted mocs for dh that need still to be felted. We haven't bought any gifts for anyone yet either. We're in a bit of a financial stilt and don't want to borrow business money for personal use so I really don't know what we are going to do as far as gifts. Dh is playing up santa pretty big (along with the "better be good for santa" bit which makes me grit my teeth) and the whole Christmas thing in that regard is just getting on my nerves right now.
Anyway.
To get out of my funk I planned a few activities that will get us out of the house. Yesterday we went to the Aviary (and were the only ones there) and looked at all kinds of birds, got to feed some and pet some too. Story time was interesting as we were the only ones there (first big snowfall) and as soon as Gabriel was in the car he bonked out in the carseat. Got home, made a quick lunch of pork chops, smothered kale and braggs with steamed black eyed peas, and we were off again to their first gymnastics class. Gabriel actually ended up sitting in the lobby with me during Willem's class because we found out when we got there that there was not enough participation signed up so they dropped it. By the time we got back home we were all ready for a nap and as soon as we got all settled in and cozy Gabriel started to cough... and throw up. He continued to throw up every few minutes to every 20 minutes for about 3 hours. I got a little freaked out when his lips went pale and he got all limp and his eyes got a little roll but I think it was the throwing up nothing after his stomach was empty that just wore him out. He slept from about 5:45 pm to about 4 am, only waking for about 45 min when dh came home.
So I've been up since 4, getting him a snack (he went to bed on an empty stomach) and not being able to get back to sleep. I have plans for major decluttering so we can decorate the house today and get a tree up this weekend but I don't know if I will have the energy.
Gabriel is fine now. Completely back to himself. I figure he must have put his fingers in his mouth at the aviary after touching some crap... literally. I used hand sanitizer after every hallway and washed their hands good after the feeding. But apparently I wasn't vigilent enough.

Willem is currently ducking beneath the computer desk every time he sees the smiley with the tomato duck!







:

Off to shower before the day really begins


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## Kavita (Dec 7, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **Amy** 
Can I ask y'all for your thoughts on what to do about my mom? As I posted yesterday, she emailed me and said that she hadn't sent anything for Brynn because she mistakenly thought her birthday was today instead of Monday. In her email yesterday, she said "I will call today to wish her a happy birthday." Well, she never called. I left my phone on til 9:00, when Brynn went to bed, and then I turned it off. My mom is pacific time, so I guess she could have called after we went to bed but I haven't turned my phone on yet this morning.

Right now part of me feels like, "Well, she sucks. What else is new?" and letting it blow over, and another part of me feels like calling her out on it. I mean, "Grandparents, forgetting a birthday? They LIVE for that shit!" I guess my struggle is in feeling like my mom isn't going to change, and our relationship is already so weird as it is; do I want to add more tension? On the other hand, if I don't honestly communicate my dismay, I feel like I'm just going along with her twisted perception of reality, which is part of the reason I stopped talking to her 5 years ago in the first place.

So I don't really know what to do. Any thoughts?

Well, I guess my thoughts are that you should turn your phone on, for starters! She could have just gotten caught up and not called early enough, and so I would keep that in mind before taking any action or making any definite conclusions based on this one incident alone. Sometimes people say things like that casually or because it just seems like the thing to say, but don't really mean it or don't actually think that anybody else is going to take them at their word and be waiting for/expecting their call, etc.

However, this isn't an isolated incident, you have a strained relationship with your mom overall and a pattern of her acting in ways that cause you to feel neglected by her and angry with her and to put distance between you--on the other hand if you didn't want at least some degree of a relationship with her for yourself and for Brynn, you wouldn't be so upset by this. And I would imagine that you could easily extrapolate from that that if you let Brynn get close to her that she will end up feeling that way too, and want to protect her from that. The fact that she is able to travel and such but hasn't made an effort to meet Brynn in two years kind of says it all--she is not going to be involved in her life at least at this stage in a close or meaningful way. It seems like you mom is just missing some sort of "maternal behavior" protein from her DNA code!! If you are able to accept her for who/what she is and be peaceful with that, then I guess you will be able to have a relationship with her, and maybe just convey your feelings about what you expect without being invested in her changing, then that is an option. Otherwise, I would just kind of try to minimize her role in your lives for right now.

So it's a tough call. Right now, I think that you will just have to make peace with yourself that your mom wasn't the mom you needed for yourself, and she's not the grandmother you would wish for Brynn to have. And then decide where to go from there. I don't think this is going to matter that much to Brynn as it will to you, because she hasn't even met her so it's not like she even has the foggiest concept of how her maternal grandmother "should" act at this point, beyond whatever she will get from you. And it's what she will get from you that will make the difference for her in understanding her grandmother's behavior if she ever does get more involved with her life. I would not make any promises to her (B) of contact with your mom (ie, "oh, grandma's going to call you today!") because you know she's not reliable/dependable, but if you can make peace with the fact that you mom is going to be an occasional presence in your lives, and on her own terms because she's unable or unwilling to do it on your terms, then I think it will be okay.

Also, I have a book recommendation for you but I'll save it for later/in person! 

Gotta go, gone overtime on my online time and now I have to rush to get out the door!


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

We had a great time yesterday. We took the kids out for dinner and ice cream sundaes then we went shopping and found these awesome wooden stackers made out of bamboo that came from Germany, at Target of all places! I was so excited to find some toys not made in China there. He insisted on this blasted talking Diego backpack that is all plastic and noisy but he loves it. Oh well, can't win them all. Anyway, it was fun letting him pick out a few new things, the real celebration will be on Sunday when my family is coming over to cut out snowflakes and make banana splits.


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## Phoenix_Rising (Jun 27, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *willemsmamma* 
I don't have the time to reply to everyone/everything I want to. I've been sort of lost in a funk (I predicted it post Thanksgiving, eh?)

I'm sorry you are in a funk. Those are hard to parent through








I'm super glad that Gabriel is okay though! That would have freaked me out when his eyes rolled back in his head!

Amy - my dad forgot about my sister's and Keagan's birthday (they are the same day) and when I told him how hurt my sister was about it he was like "oh yeah, I guess I should have called her" but then still didn't remember about Keagan's birthday. The way I see it he is missing out on getting to know his grandson by forgetting these things (and by not returning our phone calls ever but that is a different story). Thinking about it that way can sometimes be helpful to me. Keagan is missing out on getting to know his grandpa but if he doesn't know him he can't know what he is missing, right? I'm sorry you are having a hard time with your mom forgetting . . . I hope she called while your phone was off!


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## 3for3hb (Jan 13, 2005)

Amy, you must have been writing your post as I was writing mine.
I know that our situations are very different but I am always a better, more centered and complete person when I estrange myself from my mother. She, and many intertwining issues, is the main fuel for my post Thanksgiving funk. I have no desire to play into her manipulation and self-centeredness because the moment I give her the time of day she takes over (or thinks she does) and mass chaos ensues.
So my advice, be it as biased as it may, is to just let sleeping dogs lie, let well enough alone, and don't touch the shit else you make your hand stink (or something like that).







I know how frustrating parenting an adult can be. It's unfortunate that she is the way she is and that she hasn't changed but you have got to do the best for you and yours.
BTW, sorta on topic, every time I look at your blog I'm reminded of what an amazing person you are, and such a wonderful, nurturing mother. Brynn is so blessed by having you as her mother and your apple has fallen far from your tree (as in I seriously doubt you have any threads of similarity in mothering with your own mother).
Have I completely confused you?







: I feel like I'm thinking in circles today.


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Susannah M* 
I hope she called while your phone was off!

She didn't, yesterday or today. Oh well! Kavita, you are totally right in everything you said, and DH and I have said *many* times that my mom is missing the "mothering" gene. I decided to just let it go rather than take issue with her about it, and I feel a lot better. Brynn's not missing out on anything, that is for sure. Thanks for your thoughts, and letting me highjack the thread temporarily!

Monique, sorry you are having such a rough time lately. I hope you get to feeling more like yourself soon.


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *willemsmamma* 
Amy, you must have been writing your post as I was writing mine.

And we did it again!







We're on the same wavelength today!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *willemsmamma* 
...every time I look at your blog I'm reminded of what an amazing person you are, and such a wonderful, nurturing mother. Brynn is so blessed by having you as her mother and your apple has fallen far from your tree (as in I seriously doubt you have any threads of similarity in mothering with your own mother).

Monique, that means so much to me. It brought tears to my eyes. My heart's desire is that Brynn will never know anything but the feeling of being loved and treasured by us. I am so grateful that I had a daughter, because mothering her heals me every day.


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## flyingspaghettimama (Dec 18, 2001)

flying in...anyone have a blessingway (now called a "mother blessing")?

We don't do santa either. we do rudolph! just in a make-believe fun kinda way.

amy, i'm not talking to my mom anymore either. long story, but it sort of begins with her "forgetting" multiple things after promising the kids calls/stuff/things she'd do and ends with her buying pot from my crazy sister. I grew up with it, and decided my kids shouldn't have to as well.


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

I think I'm going to call my mother tonight and tell her I'm glad she's an actual mom, not just someone who happened to a have a kid or two.







s Monique, Amy, & FSM. You guys are breaking the cycle, for sure!

I got my beads today! Yay! They're all so pretty! I think I'm going to get some cords and make a couple of necklaces out of them, because there are some nifty themes going on there.









Someone at playgroup today commented that Rowan seems to do everything (in the realm of growing up) so FAST. She was standing on the top of the slidey-climbey toy, pushing toy trucks down the slide, laughing her head off then yelling "Did you see that Mummy? Did you see that?" It's true - it's not just verbal stuff, she's tall(ish), and super well-coordinated for a two-year-old, and seems to be getting over her shy phase and will talk to other adults now, and they mostly understand her. And I thought, yeah - and I kind of want her to slow down. Is that bad? Anyone else want their babies to stay babies for longer?


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## Phoenix_Rising (Jun 27, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *spughy* 
And I thought, yeah - and I kind of want her to slow down. Is that bad? *Anyone else want their babies to stay babies for longer?*

Yeah, I keep telling Keagan he isn't allowed to grow up so fast.


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## 3for3hb (Jan 13, 2005)

Thanks for all the







's









Any extended time (as in more than a couple hours) spent around my mom sends me spiraling into this funk. And it's really hard to see the bright side of anything. In addition to the parent issue, which I am completely ignoring for sake of my sanity (really, if they call and say anything characteristic I'll fly off the handle.... it's been a looong time), I'm frustrated with how dh is running the business and our ensuing financial stilt. I understand his side of things but you gotta kinda stick your neck out to make things work. And hiring someone for the front desk seems to be a block for him. He's spread too thin doing everything. I just wish he saw himself as the doctor in the office, and not the office manager, the billing coordinator, the receptionist etc etc. And because we're in this stilt we can't save for a downpayment for a house and that's got me in the dumps in a bad way. Especially because it's already such a tight squeeze here and there is no room for a baby. Honestly. It's not so much the square footage, it's the layout and flow (or lack thereof).
And it's little things irking me like dh not wanting to take down the boys' bunk beds and store them in the basement. They really prefer sleeping on the floor so we've got a ton of blankets and pillows down for them and there is literally NO room in their room. And they share that space.
I've been having dh freecycle a lot of stuff (he has the account set up with his email) and have been over on the decluttering and simplifying forum alot, lurking mostly. I realize how much stuff we have but need and don't have room to keep (in reality, it's not really THAT much for a family of four with one on the way). And it's so hard for me to decide what to keep and what to get rid of. And what to sell. Or rather keep to sell at the annual spring yard sale our neighborhood has.
On the homekeeping front, it doesn't help that I'm already waddling around and trying to keep my two tornadoes from totally destroying the house and themselves. It's just damage control at this point.
Sigh.

This morning I was in such a bad mood. Dh asked what was wrong and how I was feeling and I just told him I was nauseous from not sleeping and went in my room to mope. I got a pad of paper and a pen out and wrote a list of things that I needed him to do. And I left it on his dresser. Then I came out of the room sobbing that could he please wake up earlier if he wanted to read the paper because he was basically sitting there ignoring us (which I'm usually okay with because he's reading the morning paper but I'd been up since 4am, cleaned, had made bfast and gotten both kids up and ready for the day and all he did was wake up, get a shower, make coffee for himself and sit down to eat the oats I made and drink his coffee and read). At least I prefaced my little outburst with "I probably shouldn't bring this up right now because of the state I'm in but..." Thankfully







he was sensitive enough to put the paper aside and go in the kitchen to start on the dishes. He also took Gabriel to work with him so I didn't have to drag both kids to drop willem off at school.
I kept trying to think myself into a better mood and I felt a little voice say to try and think about somethign that happened the day before that made me truly happy. And I thought that finishing dh's mocs made me happy. That I'm able to read a pattern and turn a skein or ball of yarn into something unique and useable is really something that amazes me everytime. Then I thought about how enthralled the boys were yesterday at the aviary when we sat in the atrium and watched the toucan and then hawk fly overhead from trainer to trainer. And Willem's face when he fed mealworms to the african something or other bird was priceless. I just keep trying to remember those happy, bubbling up happy, feelings and knowing that my present circumstances are just that. Present. And they will pass. And my profession can wait for me, that I'll be there when the kids are ready. And I will have my house... sometime. But my kids will only be this enthralled with the little things for such a short time. I need to force myself to stop being so selfish and engrossed by my own discontent and see things as being truly beautiful. The way I used to when I was their age.


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## Gunter (May 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **Amy** 
My heart's desire is that Brynn will never know anything but the feeling of being loved and treasured by us. I am so grateful that I had a daughter, because mothering her heals me every day.

I totally feel you on the whole mom thing, you know. And, i totally have the same sense of healing that mothering my daughter brings. We can overcome our lack of nurturing mothers; our crap relationships with our mothers do not have to prevent us from being great moms! You are an inspiration to me and all of us. You are so intentional with Brynn and how you love your family plus take care of yourself. You are real and honest and keep a great sense of humor and fun. I love being a mama with you, Amy.


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

You all have made me whole week, really.









Back to our regularly scheduled programming:








:*Happy Birthday, Noah Sage!!!*







:

We miss you around here, SoulJourney!


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## 3for3hb (Jan 13, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Gunter* 
I totally feel you on the whole mom thing, you know. And, i totally have the same sense of healing that mothering my daughter brings. We can overcome our lack of nurturing mothers; our crap relationships with our mothers do not have to prevent us from being great moms! You are an inspiration to me and all of us. You are so intentional with Brynn and how you love your family plus take care of yourself. You are real and honest and keep a great sense of humor and fun. I love being a mama with you, Amy.

... maybe I need a daughter to help me with the actual feeling of healing


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## flyingspaghettimama (Dec 18, 2001)

Aw willemsmama, I hope you feel better soon. Maybe you should get him an intern from a local college as his christmas present -- for the OFFICE of course. A nice, unhot intern. Not named Monica. Or Bubbles.

Spughy, sometimes I feel like "don't grow up," but you know, it comes in fits and spurts. My first midwife said that that's why so many children are 1.5-3 years apart in age. The first one grows up!


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Yep- apparently the most common age spacing is 1.5-3 years, but it's more common to have a 5.5-6 year gap (IOW, conception around the time your youngest starts school) than a 4 year gap over here.
Monique, don't have a girl. Come and join me in the earplug club. I love Skye to little squishy bits and there are so many things that I'm looking forward to sharing with her as she grows, but you know what? Fundamentally, she's messy, noisy, destructive and covered in mud, just like her brothers. It's possible to grow girly bits, but the princess gene is harder work and she's completely deficient. Or I am. One or t'other.
I've pretty much given up stressing about Skye growing up, tbh. She has such a total sense of how the world should be and her place in it that my role seems to be first and foremost to run interference and help talk her through the points where she's being unreasonable whilst squishing anyone who tries to tell her that something isn't possible because she's either two or a girl.


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## barcelona (May 1, 2006)

i just wrote a long post, but it got lost in a bad internet connection









i'm too sleepy to re-type, but sending hugs to everyone, and will catch up again soon!!!


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## Awaken (Oct 10, 2004)

Well, after spending an hour or so catching up, I'm finally posting!

*Lydia*- congratulations! Beautiful wedding pics.

*Helen*- I've been thinking of you with the pregnancy, and everything else you've got going on with the renovations, and FIL.

*Kaspirant*- the cabin sounds like a good plan! Have you seen the inside yet? I hope it all works out! I love what Spughy said:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *spughy* 
Kaspirant, it seems the only reason not to do is the whole issue of adding something ELSE onto the Christmas season, and I think you'll feel better from a whole lotta sides if you ditch a big part of the food/gifts/visitation madness and just move. It sounds like a good deal. Make it your Christmas present to yourselves.


*Amy*- so glad Brynn's birthday was fun! I saw the blog and the pics, looks like a great time! I read your post about your mom. That is tough. I am amazed at what a wonderful and concientious mother you are, esp. considering you are learning this on your own and not from your mom's example. I have different issues and background w/ my mom, but suffice to to say I haven't been mothered, and find myself in a role of having to parent them, and lately I've been feeling the lack of a mother so acutely. She also has no idea how old my kids are...at Ezra's bday a few weeks ago she asked how old he was, is he 3??

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MelW* 
I'm also slooooowly accepting the season change- we ate the very last of my tomatoes that have been ripening on the windowsill today, and the local farmer's market has moved indoors and is fully into winter vegetables. I always have a bit of denial at this time of year, since I'm a summer lover at heart.

*Mel*- I am missing my fresh veggies, too!! Esp. the variety of gorgeous tomatoes I got from this woman who grew them and dropped them off for me each week. Canned (from a store) is no where near as good









*Monique*- scary about Gabriel throwing up like that!! I'm glad he's ok!

*FSM*- my birth group is having a meeting about blessingways, birth art, and rituals tomorrow night so I'll let you know if I hear about anything interesting!

Ok, now for my update!

My 2 yr old is exhibiting some really typical 2 yr old behaviors! It's so funny b/c it started right on his birthday, and he is so sweet normally that you just have to laugh. On his birthday he started saying "No! Don't do that! Stop!" to everything! If you look at him, hug him, say anything to him! I know he got it from Ethan (who is not at all natuarally smiley and pleasant!)! And, now he says "nope!" to everything- when I say time to change your diaper, have lunch, go to bed, or whatever, he says "Nope! Milk."

And finally, an announcement I NEVER thought I'd be making! Those of you who are on MDC a lot may have noticed I've been posting on the July DDC...I was kind of hoping that if I had to be there, some of you would be joining me! Anyone??? I haven't told anyone IRL yet. I can't even think of how to bring it up!


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Awaken* 
And finally, an announcement I NEVER thought I'd be making! Those of you who are on MDC a lot may have noticed I've been posting on the July DDC...!

OMG, Congratulations!!!!! How exciting!!


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## 3for3hb (Jan 13, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flyingspaghettimama* 
A nice, unhot intern. Not named Monica. Or Bubbles.


ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:b gbounce


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## 3for3hb (Jan 13, 2005)

Amy... where's the link to your blog? I can't find it. There was something I noticed on your Christmas wish/idea list that I was going to add to mine for the IL's and she wants it NOW. I can't for the life of me remember what it was. If feel like I've spent all this time writing an email list for her complete with links etc and I know she's probably not going to get any of it. Not that it really matters per se but I've told dh that if she gets any junk from the dollar store it's getting thrown out (or freecycled/thrifted) as soon as we get back. It's just "to give her an idea."








Anyway, gimme the link so I can remember, puleeeeeeeeeeez


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## 3for3hb (Jan 13, 2005)

Okay, so for my third post in a row








My day has been incredible. Despite being awaken by Gabriel at 3am when he crawled in bed with me coughed and kicked for a half hour and finally asked for a banana and to go pee. I dragged myself out of bed at 8am when I heard the kids up and at 'em and dh being sleepy and impatient (seriously, with those two, patience is a fleeting thought at times, even for me). Made broccoli/cheese/onion omlets and toast. Spent an hour or two gathering more items from around the house that haven't been used or are clutter and then posted a few biggies on craigslist and ebay.
Then, I started unloading the kids' bedroom into the dining room. Literally. Like I said before, their bunk beds, which go unused, took up almost a third of the space in the room and with their beds on the floor, there was maybe a foot and a half of floor space left from the door to the dresser and around Gabriel's trundle bed. I really should have taken a before picture because it was ridiculous that they have slept in that arrangement for over a month and a half. Anyway. A few minutes into the unloading I grabbed the video camera and took snapshots of the process. I can't believe how much stuff was in their room!!! Dh took the bunk beds apart, took the unneeded parts to the basement for storage, set up the one bed as a single and put the mattress under it (to function as the trundle Gabriel is used to). We also took the shelf that was on top of the dresser off and put it down on the floor. And we took the little shelves that were stacked on one another in a corner down and put puzzles and toys WITHIN THEIR REACH. My goal is to get some sort of evening routine where they go around and pick up all their toys and then put them away before bedtime. I can now even vaccum the floor in their room. There's even an echo!!!! It's amazing. We'll be able to hang the spider plant that Willem has been wanting in his room by the window too! I'm so glad dh finally decided to help me (the bunk beds are waaaaaaaaaay to heavy for me to deal with alone). And he begrudginly agreed that my idea was for the best. I should post pics.
Man, am I nesting? Yes. Because this entire place needs to be thorougly decluttered and reorganized before this baby comes. I need to feel more at home here and with the clutter that we have going on I just don't.
After the whole kids bedroom ordeal (I have an overflowing box and a few piles around the box of stuff to get rid from their room), we got dressed up and took the kids to their adopted grandparents house and then went to a neighbor friends Christmas party. I got all fancied up in knee boots and a glittery top and short skirt. Everyone kept commenting on the pregnant chic with the high heels, lol. I'm suffering for it now







. I felt really great about myself and dh, of course, thought I was hot (I guess the black thigh highs helped too







). The hostess commented (she's the play group mom in the neighborhood) on how I always look great even though I'm pregnant and it really made my day, considering how crappy I've felt about everything HAVING to come to me second hand etc. Ironic.
Anyway, hopefully things are moving along and I'm out of my funk. Sorry if this is all over the place and scattered. It is after midnight after all.


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## HoneyTree (Apr 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
She has such a total sense of how the world should be and her place in it that my role seems to be first and foremost to run interference and help talk her through the points where she's being unreasonable whilst squishing anyone who tries to tell her that something isn't possible because she's either two or a girl.

Helen, I love this idea, and I totally feel like this is my role, too. And it's funny, I would have thought there would be more, I don't know, doing _for_, or keeping _from_, or gods forbid saving from impending danger, but really it's mostly he and I bouncing around, doing stuff, with a few asides from me now and again to let him know how the world usually works.

Mary, OMG! And Congratulations!!!!







I'm working on dh, but the soonest I'd be is fall of '08, and spring '09 would be far wiser. Dh is almost there; my past two cycles have been close calls, and he's been OK with that. My charts have been totally inscrutable these past few months, though; I have a felling it has to do with the crazy night nursing, but between an unpredictable cycle and two tired, working parents, I don't think it's going to be easy.

Monique, it sounds like you had a fabulous day! And you go wich ya bad self, black thigh highs and beautiful bump!

So it's 3:30 a.m. here, and I am back up because our party was big and loud and wonderful (amazingly, I did not have a panic attack), and the silence that came when everyone left actually woke me up. I went out to sit by the dying fire with dh and debrief. (I do love the post-event run-down.) This was definitely one of those nights that I realized why people become teams--partners, couples, families, etc.--I could NEVER have pulled this off, and never would have even tried, but I grinned through it for dh, because he lives for this kind of thing, and I had a great time.

The baby, however, did not wake back up, and so is going to expect "biff-kast" at 7:30, per usual. Let me be sane and try to go back to bed...


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Monique, I think I'm paying for your high heels, I think you sent your pelvis trauma vibes over here. My hip joints are on whole different planets. I'm glad you had a good day, and if you're reading this on Sunday morning then go back to bed and have a lie-in, you deserve it.

Hopefully, 10 building days to go. Please, keep sending speedy-builder vibes at me, I REALLY don't want them back after Xmas. It's world war 3 here at the moment- the weather's been foul last week and the chaps doing the floor left some boards lying around outside our back gate and our next door neighbour (the lovely one, the antenatal teacher, who comforted me through labour with the second twin back in February and who offered me her birth pool) fell over







Not good.

Mary, congratulations!







So, be honest, how many times have you been asked "so you're hoping for a girl this time?"


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *willemsmamma* 
Amy... where's the link to your blog?

It's here. I don't put it in my signature anymore. Have fun!

Sounds like you looked gorgeous at the party, BTW.


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Amy, thanks for that post on your blog about all the new and resurrected traditions you're observing for the holidays. I'm going to have DH read it and I think we need to sit down and figure out what we're doing as a family - because you're right, the season should have *meaning* and we're not buying presents this year either. I like the idea of donating gently-used clothing (we even have some never-used clothing, mostly for DH who receives clothing as presents and then forgets to wear it







: if it's been in the closet for a year and he's managed fine without it, I figure that can continue permanently and someone else can make use of it!)

I meant to put up our (LED, energy-efficient) lights today, but the weather is SOOO miserable outside I don't really want to. Sometime this week I will! I also have to get my package off to my sisters and my mom up north. That's going to be my big expense this year - postage.







Merry Christmas, Canada Post (or Air Canada, whichever is cheaper).

We went down to Port Angeles yesterday - absolutely beautiful day, bright and sunny - and Rowan had SO much fun on the ferry, just running around and playing. I just love how she brings a smile to the face of all the other passengers with her imaginative playing - going to the "store" or the "farm" and buying food, then "cooking" it... being a baby sea lion surfing over the chairs... fortunately she slept the whole way back though! It was a nice day. I love travelling with her. I so hope that she always enjoys travelling and doesn't lose her ability to entertain herself with nothing more than a few chairs and 20 feet of clear floor!


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## 3for3hb (Jan 13, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **Amy** 
It's here. I don't put it in my signature anymore. Have fun!


swimming lessons... that's what it was!








:


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Click here for some holiday cheer.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

OMG, Amy, that's both cute and absolutely mindblowingly terrifying and the stuff of nightmares. The hip movements are particularly disturbing....

Why is it that plasterers always, always, always turn up late and when they do get there, there's four times as many as you expected?????


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## SoulJourney (Sep 26, 2005)

Hi all!









I have been brought out of my hole by little miss Amy! So sorry we've missed everyone's birthdays/birthing days! I hope they all were beautiful! Thank you for the birthday wishes, Amy! I can't believe our little ones are TWO!!! Noah Sage had a nice, simple little party at my mom and dad's on Sunday. His most prized gift is his new eukele. It actually looks quite like a guitar, not a cheesy little toy euke...it's almost as big as him! He loves the guitar (my grandfather and BF...yes...BF!...both play) and has always wanted one. He sits around strumming it with his pick, bobbing his head and begging mama to dance! It is oh so cute!

We have been so busy lately...full of life's ups and downs. I haven't been on lately because every time I have a moment to get on the computer it is always for photography reasons...editing photos, making CDs, e-mailing, scheduling, or just learning new stuff on photo forums. I went through a really busy first couple of months back in business but now it's almost completely tapered off. I've been so busy that I haven't really had time to look for more business. Speaking of pictures...*KAVITA...*PM me or call me back (since you are it on phone tag!) so that I can get your addy...I wanna send you those pics of your gorgeous chica!







Noah Sage and I are getting ready to move into a new place that will have a shared studio space attached to it! I'm so excited and can't wait to get things rolling and try to just reeeeally focus on drumming up more business. This will also be the first time he and I have lived by ourselves and the first time I have not had a roommate in almost seven years! I'm so excited to have the time by ourselves.

And, yes...I have been seeing someone since August!







Finally, over two years after splitting with Noah's dad, I finally find someone worthy of dating! He is amazing with Noah and we are getting along really well. We have taken things pretty slowly up to this point...being a nervous, protective mama bear and all.

Oh...and I, also, received my beads...beautiful surprise...thank you! And did I read that *KASPIRANT* is moving into a cabin in the woods in Colorado???? Where exactly? You are making long for my cabin in Idaho Springs! I sooooooo miss the woods and the mountains!

Well, beautiful mamas, I am going to get some work done and periodically come back to read through our thread and catch up. We miss you all!








:

michelle & noah sage

ps...*FERN...*I just read your latest blog post...If you choose Sabine for a name you will have officially used one of "my" names for every one of your children!







Noah Sage would have been Amelia Sabine if he were a girl!

~peace & love y'all!


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## Gunter (May 5, 2005)

hey mamas,

i need to read and catch up with you all! just wanted to say happy holidays!

you may have noticed by my "location" that i got a deisel vehicle and am proud to be using biodeisel after years of learning about it. we owned two cars that fit us and were paid off that it didn't make sense to get anything else. since we sold those to live abroad, we were in a place to get a vehicle upon our return. although, we'd prefer to bike everywhere! it's just not feasible. anyway, we got a jeep liberty for our growing fam and our big ass rottie. it's really the best vehicle for space, and cost that we could find with a deisel engine. it drives great and is even 4x4 so we can take it out on the beach and through the snow if i get to go to births after a storm. woo hoo! there is a biodeisel pump in my 'hood. we're looking in to joining the piedmont biofuels co-op where they deliver fuel to your house in a big 55 gallon drum.

otherwise, just decorating the tree and getting crafty for the etsy shop i really want to open. just gotta get up the nerve to take the plunge and do it. why am i so nervous? i am not a master crafter/jeweler or anything so i guess i am worried that my stuff won't be good enough. i am just making birth-related necklaces. no biggie. the pendants and beads are ones i have collected from nc to singapore and all stops in between. any tips are welcome, of course.

my babe is posterior these days; about 28 weeks along. any tips on spinning the kid around? i have read up and know it won't matter much until i am in labor and that babes turn even during labor. i would still like to hear of your experiences. i did have a dream that the baby (who was a girl in the dream) was born sunny-side up so it may want to stay this way?!

okay, gotta go read up on what ya'll are doing! huggies.


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## Gunter (May 5, 2005)

FSM- i had a mother's blessing last time and am having one, again in a month or two.

monique- i owe you double hugs from a while back with you mom posts. sorry that it is so shitty. i do understand!
















amy- a print of the sketch would be great. you can pm me about it if you want. thank you for your last pm. i browsed your blog this morn while dh and i were sitting in the bed. i gotta go back and read through about the holiday traditions. we're not doing santa claus stuff with ezra. just going to do other fun celebrations stuff all the rest of the winter. for christmas morning, we'll probably make some orange sweet rolls and oatmeal. read a book or two and then unwrap some gifts and empty stockings. we try to do meaningful, handmade gifts from either each other or local people. and, the thrift store. we bought ez a couple of things from ikea when we were up there recently. i kinda agree with jason about it not really being very honest to say that santa brings gifts. i had never thought about it that way until our neighbor explained that's why they don't do santa with their kids. i wasn't even preggo then but it stuck with me.

QoC- some people call my DH a "manny" when he's at the playground with all the other mamas these days. hopefully, it'll end for you asap.

Happy way Belated Birthday, Winter!!!

kaspirant- i used to live outside of denver and loved it. i would love to see pics of your place. we use bob's read mill egg replacer for our baking. don't know how well it would work for that recipe though.

helen- so glad that your kitchen will be done before christmas and before the babe comes. are you going to freeze meals this time? i did that last time but my fridge is dying a slow death and we may need to get a new one. the repair people said the compressor isn't worth replacing b/c there is only a 6 month warranty on it and it costs about $500. might as well get a new fridge. not to mention the renters left something bloody in it and it grossed my vegan self out completely!


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## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SoulJourney* 

ps...*FERN...*I just read your latest blog post...If you choose Sabine for a name you will have officially used one of "my" names for every one of your children!







Noah Sage would have been Amelia Sabine if he were a girl!



happy belated birthday you two!

michelle, thats funny! i like sabine, im not sure if its the one though.. its so hard.


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## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

im not due for another month exactly (jan 11th) but i feel like its getting close. im having lots of BH and lots of twingey, owie stuff in my cervix.. we aren't going to vancouver till next weekend or early next week..so im just praying that im psyching myself up and that baby doesn't decide to come "early" im not that ready yet!.. ive been madly nesting though..like seriously. ive cleaned every cupboard in my kitchen, the fridge, the freezer.. ive been baking and cooking to freeze.. ive washed and re-washed all of the tiny baby things and diapers i have and my bags are packed to go. ive been washing/cleaning house and vaccuming way more than usual, but it keeps getting undone, so i keep doing it. its madening! elwynn has a few more days of school and i dont want him to miss too much so im holding out..plus, im loving our little cozy home surrounded by snow. ill be sad to leave it *snif*

so thats my update.


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## kaspirant (Apr 28, 2006)

The cabin is in California still and I'll post pics when I have them. We are moving in the week between Christmas and New Year's. We have to be out of our apartment by the 3rd and start paying rent on our cabin on the 1st.

It's exhausting and exciting all at the same time.

We are moving to Colorado though...in June. I can't wait. We are hoping for the Fort Collins area but in reality we will move wherever DH gets his job.


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## MelW (Jan 13, 2005)

I'm back from a mini-online hiatus. Most of my Christmas shopping and organizing is finished, cookies baked and in the freezer, and my DH has finished the term and submitted final grades this morning.

Happy (last day of) Hanukkah! We celebrated with neighbours on Friday, and DH and Neela went again last night. For Christmas we're having friends over to help decorate our tree and drink apple cider this evening, and then we're going to spend a few nights in a cottage on the coast for Christmas with my MIL and BILs. So expect that Christmas will include the traditional walks on the beach that I've done almost every year of my life! My DH loves Christmas and all of his childhood traditions (stockings, charlie brown movies, christmas tree, cookies, etc.) and has Neela sooo excited about all of it. We even did a photo with Santa at the mall. Explaining the whole Santa thing has been rather confusing, but I think we'll deal with some of those issues more next year...

Fern, I can't believe that this baby is so close! Wishing you a safe trip to Vancouver to birth this baby!

SoulJourney~ Good luck with your move and congratulations on the new love in your life. Check in with us again when you get the chance.

Helen~ May your kitchen be plastered and your house worker-free soon.

And many more hugs to everyone else- I had so much that I wanted to write but it's all fading now that I've started to type.


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## HoneyTree (Apr 5, 2005)

SoulJourney and Mel and Gunter and Fern, nice to see y'all!









I'm doing a workshop on papermaking at my school tomorrow. Really, I guess it's paper re-making--the kind with the shredded up bits of paper as a base--but it's my first time and I'm really excited. I've been meaning to get into this craft for years, but other stuff has always come first. As I was compiling the supplies today, I kept saying things to myself like, "I want to be the kind of mama who __________," (organizes all her things in separate, labeled bins; does artsy things with my child; creates traditions out of experimentation and desire for fun; etc.). And I had to catch myself and remind myself that I AM that kind of mama, I just have to choose to recognize or enhance that aspect of myself. (Did I tell you all that I'm reading _Eat, Pray, Love_, and that little Zen philosophies are trickling out into my own psyche? It's refreshing, and pretty fun.)

In other news, a police officer came to do another Internet safety presentation for the kids. She came last year and I deleted my MySpace account. This year, scared anew, I'm considering taking down most of my other Web presences. I'm so torn; I want to find a balance between sending out all kinds of bad energies in the form of horrible "what ifs" and being smart about what I post.


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## kaspirant (Apr 28, 2006)

pregnancy insomnia SUCKS.

yep that pretty much sums it up. It's 3 am. This is the third night in a row I've been awake since 2:30...Gotta get *up* in 2 1/2 hours to get ready to face my 220 13-15 year olds one of which lied to me yesterday about being abused which resulted in the CPS lady being incredibly horrible to me. *sigh* Is it friday yet?


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Kaspirant. If it makes you feel any better, at least you're having insomnia- in my darker moments, I'm convinced this baby isn't a keeper because I'm still sleeping through the night. Not even a toilet break, unless one of the kids wakes me up. And the CPS lady should be ashamed of herself.

Fern, good to see you! I'm feeling very pregnant with anticipation myself right now, so yeah, baby season will be starting with a vengeance soon









Honeytree, we







papermaking. I did some on my textiles course at college last year, and kept going after that. It's messy, it's fun, it's good for the environment, what's not to love?

Souljourney, good to see you







I'm so glad you and Noah have another special person in your lives to love and cherish you the way you deserve, it's good to read you sounding so happy.

Me? 7 days to go until the builders leave the building. Huge, fat, pregnant, SPD is coming and going in waves. Gunter, we're going to try and freeze, but all of this is going to have to wait until Xmas is out of the way.
We are being really cheeky and having a combination kitchen-warming party and wedding anniversary/ baby shower party on the 5th (in the morning) and asking anyone who might offer to bring something to refill the freezer with. We'd love and welcome any messages or artwork or photos that people want to send to us to display in the kitchen, btw, as a lot of people aren't going to be able to be with us. I'm really excited actually- we had a whole gang of plasterers in to do the first two rooms on Monday and hearing them chatter as they work put a bit of life into the place and knocked out some of the bad vibes we've been having, so I'm hoping this party is going to work and help us bless our home.

To all practical extents and purposes, I'm not going to be living here next week- we're dumping the old living room furniture on Sunday, having the kitchen electrified and moved on Monday and Tuesday, the living room plastered on Tuesday, laminate flooring going down at some point in those days and dad's bathroom should be done Wednesday/Thursday/Friday. Are we mad? Why, yes, I believe we are







: AND I promised the boys weeks ago that the tree would be up on Friday and I haven't yet got the courage to go back on my word.


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## kaspirant (Apr 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 







Kaspirant. If it makes you feel any better, at least you're having insomnia- in my darker moments, I'm convinced this baby isn't a keeper because I'm still sleeping through the night. Not even a toilet break, unless one of the kids wakes me up. And the CPS lady should be ashamed of herself.

Aww *hugs* It's been so rough on me this time around. I wake up at 230 every night and can't. get. back. to. sleep. Last night I got 4 loads of laundry through the washer (only 2 put away) and cleaned and cleaned and cleaned because the night before I thought maybe if I just lay here I'll fall back asleep. Nope. sure didn't. so I figured if I'm going to be up I may as well be productive. I can't believe we are moving in 3 weeks. There is so much to do, but on the bright side, we thought we were going to self-move to save money (the cabin is only 20 minutes from our apartment now) and FIL offered last night to pay for movers...So I'm being thankful I am not going to have to figure out how to help DH move boxes at 30 weeks pregnant.

Jacob is growing and learning so much every day it amazes me. I still can't believe I am the mother of a two year old. I swear it was just yesterday he was born.

I am sorry I've been so blech at actually joining the conversations...there's been a lot of craziness here...hopefully soon I'll be back as an active participant in the discussions.


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kaspirant* 
FIL offered last night to pay for movers...So I'm being thankful I am not going to have to figure out how to help DH move boxes at 30 weeks pregnant.


Wow. That is *awesome*. What a great FIL!!!


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## Awaken (Oct 10, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **Amy** 
OMG, Congratulations!!!!! How exciting!!









to tell you the truth, which I know I can do here, I'm not too excited yet. In time I'm sure I will be!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
So, be honest, how many times have you been asked "so you're hoping for a girl this time?"

Spoken by someone who knows what it's like to have 2 boys! I swear, from the moment I had Ethan I"ve been asked constantly when I"ll be trying for a girl. First it was 'don't you want one of each?' then when I had a boy, ever since it has been 'when are you trying for #3? You need a girl!' I really get tired of that question!!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SoulJourney* 
Noah Sage and I are getting ready to move into a new place that will have a shared studio space attached to it! I'm so excited and can't wait to get things rolling and try to just reeeeally focus on drumming up more business. This will also be the first time he and I have lived by ourselves and the first time I have not had a roommate in almost seven years! I'm so excited to have the time by ourselves.

And, yes...I have been seeing someone since August!







Finally, over two years after splitting with Noah's dad, I finally find someone worthy of dating! He is amazing with Noah and we are getting along really well. We have taken things pretty slowly up to this point...being a nervous, protective mama bear and all.

Sounds like some very exciting developments, MIchelle! I hope the move and the new space work out well, and enjoy the fun of a new relationship.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Gunter* 
you may have noticed by my "location" that i got a deisel vehicle and am proud to be using biodeisel after years of learning about it.

anyway, we got a jeep liberty for our growing fam and our big ass rottie. it's really the best vehicle for space, and cost that we could find with a deisel engine. it drives great and is even 4x4 so we can take it out on the beach and through the snow if i get to go to births after a storm. woo hoo! there is a biodeisel pump in my 'hood. we're looking in to joining the piedmont biofuels co-op where they deliver fuel to your house in a big 55 gallon drum.

I've got to hear more about this! The car issue is one thing that's really worrying me. We have a passat wagon, and with 2 big carseats in back and 2 large dogs in the very back, there is no room for our stuff, MUCH less a 3rd child! I fear we are going to have to get a minivan or SUV! The thought of either parked outside my house just makes me want to uke

So are there any *affordable*, *fuel efficent*, *roomy* vehicles that would suit our needs? We were totally not planning on this expense, and esp. with me presumably not working when we have 3 kids, I really don't know what we're going to do.

BTW- where was your dog while you were traveling?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 







Kaspirant. If it makes you feel any better, at least you're having insomnia- in my darker moments, I'm convinced this baby isn't a keeper because I'm still sleeping through the night. Not even a toilet break, unless one of the kids wakes me up.

WOW, enjoy, Helen! That is amazing. I'm so glad the renovations have an endpoint in sight!

Kaspirant-







sorry you're having so much trouble w/ sleep. I had horrible insomnia last time, too (does anyone remember my incessant complaining?)


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## HoneyTree (Apr 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Awaken* 
I've got to hear more about this! The car issue is one thing that's really worrying me. We have a passat wagon, and with 2 big carseats in back and 2 large dogs in the very back, there is no room for our stuff, MUCH less a 3rd child! I fear we are going to have to get a minivan or SUV! The thought of either parked outside my house just makes me want to uke

This is so funny--the BIG DOGS are what keeps me stuck, too! Do y'all remember (and believe me I won't blame you if you don't) my pregnancy "drama" of getting gifted a big ol' SUV from my mother when it was clear that I, dh, the baby, and the two dogs would no long fit in the Wrangler? And I just did not want to turn into an SUV person. (And yes, I do realize that a Wrangler IS an SUV, but it is paid off, and so we turn a blind eye.) Well the big gas guzzling gift is dying, and without much prospect of replacing it, we're wondering how the heck this is all going to work out.

I am thinking that in the event of a fire or the apocalypse, we might just put the baby and I on one bike and dh can pull the dogs in a wagon behind the other and see how far we get...


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Ahh, dogs. When we're all in the car, the dog gets the front seat and I have to squish in next to DD, because the dog doesn't fit. Good times. I feel like such a tool, riding in the backseat with the dog being all "I'm important!" in the front seat. When DD was really little I could fool myself that she needed me back there, but now? Not so much.

We have a Honda Civic. I love it, it is easy to park, easy to drive, and easy on gas. And actually I think we would be able to stuff one more kid in there, if we put child seats on either side of the back seat I think the dog might even fit in the middle. Our dog, FWIW, is a smallish labrador retriever. So, like, not a poodle, but not a rottweiler either.

I've always been "over my dead body" on the whole minivan/SUV thing. But then DH found that we could get a diesel used import Mitsubishi Delica (I think Fern got one of these, they're awesome, and I think you can convert them to biodiesel pretty easily) so we're still planning on getting one, we just have to finish fixing up my old truck to sell it first, because that'd be most of the money for a Delica.

Anyway, I think the best that you can do is a diesel VW or Delica van, Mary. They're a PITA for repairs, but if you or your DH is at all mechanically inclined, they're fine, and you can convert it to biodiesel, slap some "I run on biodiesel" bumper stickers on it, and be proud to park it near your house


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## 3for3hb (Jan 13, 2005)

Just catching up and saying







. I'm in nesting and decluttering land, inspired by the forum and my feng shui decluttering workbook that I got for Christmas last year







. I've gotten rid of 216 items so far this month!!!

Not much else to say though.







: Isn't this lil' guy the greatest???

oooooo - oooo and this







: is







at first sight!!!


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## Gunter (May 5, 2005)

we liked the passat wagon and the jetta wagon but they were a bit more $$ than we wanted to pay. we sold our jetta and our subaru wagon to travel. they both were great cars.

not sure i have too much advice about the three carseat thing though. that would make it a rough to stay small without going for a minivan or suv. wagons just don't have the third seat. is running biodeisel important for you all? mercedes has older wagons with the third seat that faces the back but i don't know how 'safe' a car seat would be back there. the grand jeep cherokee is really pricey but bigger than the liberty, you know. we didn't look at it b/c it was about twice as much as the liberty.

a storage compartment on the roof can be a good option if you want to stay in a smaller vehicle and free up interior space.

rottie while traveling: our renters looked after him so he got to stay here in his house. plus, my brother walked him every weekend and bought him food before they ran out. my neighbors do animal rescue so they kept an eye on him whenever he was outside (and would send us e-mails that they saw him and he looked healthy and happy!) and took care of him one weekend when the renters went on vacation. we thought he was in good hands. he had fleas when we got back. our neighbors told us fleas were intense this summer so maybe it wasn't that they neglected him but just how bad the fleas really were in our area. ugh. fleas are still so gross and we felt bad for him to suffer. he's okay now and all clear of 'em thankfully!


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## barcelona (May 1, 2006)

just poppin on to say HI, and am so sorry i haven't been in touch or part of the conversation, though i'm reading along, as always.
was So frustrated the other night, when i wrote a super long post that got lost. haven't had the time again to write again. hopefully in the next few days i can catch up on the conversation.

i have nothing to share to the carsear/car conversation. we bought my grandfather's car from him, which worked out perfectly, and have been intending to look into switching to biodiesel, and being the terribly imperfect, but truly intentional environmentalists we are, haven't done it yet. i think i'm afraid it's going to cost money, and we always have none.

FERN, hope that baby stays put til you're ready!
it's so exciting to hear about all you pregnant mamas.

HELEN, good luck surviving with all the construction going on. I cannot imagine! plus pregnant, plus holidays!

i don't have much to share, except that finley is talking more every day, and is so so sweet. he is very into the whole christmas thing, and me and my DH, especially do love the traditions that come with the year.

more soon, ladies! thinking of you all often...


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Awaken, I know people who have two carseats plus a booster in a VW passat. IF the passat over there is the same as over here and there's a way of securing it in the centre seat, don't rule it out just yet. Failing that, come and join me in the "bloody hell, that's a bit big, innit?" gas guzzling minivan club. (I heartily recommend the VW sharan, btw.) IF you do that though, you really need to be a two car family, because the mpg on minivans is horrendous. You also need diesel or biodiesel.
Incidentally, have you had huge gas price hikes over there? We've just crossed the £1 per litre mark here (that's $2 per litre- 4 litres per gallon and expecting more protests to kick off soon.
7 building days to Xmas







They aren't in today, but still. I'm excited. I just need to survive next week somehow.


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## 3for3hb (Jan 13, 2005)

Awaken, is your ds1 even big enough for a booster seat yet? We have a Honda Pilot, and Willem is going to have to go either in his Britax or a booster in the back row and he'll either have to climb over seats to get to his seat or he'll have to get in thru the back. It just depends how big he gets how soon.
It's actually considered a station wagon not an SUV (







) and we get pretty good mileage on it, considering. We got because we never had enough room in the Civic to cart around equipment for spinal screenings and events like that. It would work beautifully spacewise if we didn't have (or will have) three kids that need carseats.


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Is biodiesel the same as ethenol? We're probably going to be getting a new car for DH sometime in the next 6 months and we've thought about ethenol and hybrid. We'll probably go hybrid though. He wants an Explorer or Escape Hybrid, but I hate Ford (HATE!) so I'll try to talk him into something else!

So today I mailed out 8 packages of goodies for family: pumpkin bread, fudge, and Rice-Krispie treats (Yu-um!














, and I will finish the other 9 or 10 packs this weekend. I love sending goodies out in lieu of "gifts". Brynn and I had so much fun making them, and then we made a glitter hand-print (of Brynn's hand) on a piece of brown recycled paper (like a paper bag) and wrote "Made with loving hands" and put it on top of all of the treats so it'll be the first thing our loved ones see when they open the box.







So fun!

Helen, hope that all of the construction is finished soon and that you survive in the mean-time!


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

I miscounted







It's actually only 6...

Has anyone else stalked the Dec DDC to see if our errant members have had their babies yet, btw?


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## barcelona (May 1, 2006)

And AWAKEN...CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Hope you find a great way to tell everyone in IRL, and I'm sure that soon, it will start to feel exciting for you.

SoulJourney, so great to see you back, and I'm thrilled to hear that you have found a lovely man. Enjoy those beginning days, and keep us posted, when you can.

Kaspirant, I'm so glad you have help with moving. What an exciting and crazy time for you guys! Hope you're surviving school plus insomnia. Thank goodness Friday is almost here. We'll come visit you in your cabin, if you'll have us, and lend a helping hand with unpacking.

And Amy, I love your blog about holiday traditions. I so admire everything that you are doing. You are so inspiring. (And from a ways back, which was lost in my previous post, I'm so sorry about the stuff with your mom...but so glad that you found peace with the situation).

Speaking of moms, I find it remarkable/interesting that so many of us have poor/non-existent mother figures...and here we are, mothering so consciously, with such awareness, purpose, affection, and attachment. We are breaking cycles everywhere!

Is anyone else's babe nursing a lot at night? Finley is...I feel like he is going through some kind of growth spurt, because he is talking SO MUCH, and new words and grammatical structure are popping up every day. I am trying to be patient for now, though it is challenging. I tried talking him into going back to sleep without it, but it REALLY did not work or take at all. Part of it could also be that I have been gone/out more lately, because of career stuff. Thankfully, today I'll be with him all day, and I'm so excited about it.


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *barcelona* 
Speaking of moms, I find it remarkable/interesting that so many of us have poor/non-existent mother figures...and here we are, mothering so consciously, with such awareness, purpose, affection, and attachment. We are breaking cycles everywhere!

So, so, so true barcelona. I think about that sometimes too, and about the legacy we mamas are leaving. I get excited thinking about how having *two* loving parents will influence Brynn in her love relationships, and as a parent herself.









Michelle, I'm glad you came out of hiding to give us the update! That's really exciting about the new man in your life. You'll have to keep us updated on that!

Hey, what other magazines do y'all read? I'm trying to come up with some ideas for Christmas presents that Jason could get for me, but I'm just not thinking of many things. I like reading magazines, but haven't found any that I really love other than Mothering.

ETA: I found the *perfect* magazine! Check it out! :LOL


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## MelW (Jan 13, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **Amy** 

Hey, what other magazines do y'all read? I'm trying to come up with some ideas for Christmas presents that Jason could get for me, but I'm just not thinking of many things. I like reading magazines, but haven't found any that I really love other than Mothering.

ETA: I found the *perfect* magazine! Check it out! :LOL

It is perfect, Amy! I love Brain, Child. It's kind of the New Yorker of parenting mags. It's less AP than mothering, but smarter (and less glossy, less advertising, too). I also think it's expensive, but my local library carries it









And Helen, I've been watching the Dec DDD. No babies yet


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Odd, I thought I posted a link last night. It's moderately expensive over there, but www.junomagazine.com rocks my world.


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
Odd, I thought I posted a link last night. It's moderately expensive over there, but www.junomagazine.com rocks my world.

It looks nice, but with the conversion rate, it works out to over $10 per issue for us Americans! Yikes.

Mel, I've heard of Brain, Child but haven't actually read one. I'll have to check it out!

Oh! Brynn slept through the night last night, for the second time! Helen, better get out the cashmere....


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## Gunter (May 5, 2005)

magazines: mother earth news and the natural home are my other faves. my mil has a salon so i flip through mags when we visit her to get my fix on cool ones that i don't have a sub to. my mothering sub ran out, actually so it's on the christmas/birthday list! dh's b-day is dec 31st and mine is jan 30th.

my babe is moving and grooving so much. i feel the kicks and pokes much more b/c s/he is anterior right now. did any of ya'll give birth to a sunny-side up baby? in my dream a month or so ago, the babe was born facing me. i had such an easy labor with ez that anterior labor isn't my hope. i only pushed twice for her, even. it was so wonderful that i am curious how this labor and birth will go.

i am working on birth and preggo themed necklaces for an etsy shop that i started setting up this week. i still need to figure out how to charge for s/h and get some mailing packages. shoot me tips if you have any. i am so stoked to share the shop with you all one day soon!

happy holidays to everyone!


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## HoneyTree (Apr 5, 2005)

I love magazines.

I read _Mother Earth News, Mothering, Utne Reader, Mother Jones, Sierra,_ and _Ode_ cover to cover each month. If I've got a few dollars to burn I might pick up a copy of _The Believer, Sage Woman, Orion, Herb Quarterly_ or _Compleat Mother_. And if I'm feeling like eye or brain candy I like _Real Simple_ and _Bust_.

So our papermaking workshop went wonderfully. The kids had a blast and Woody helped at almost every stage. It is such a toddler-friendly activity! The cleanup was a big job, but I am definitely going to be doing it again soon.

So Helen, what do you do with your home-made paper? I am going to make gift tags and ornaments, but am looking for more ideas...

Gunter, I know that Greenlee (an MDC mama) has a lot of success with that kind of jewelry, though from what I "know" of you







I would imagine your style would be a little different; maybe check out her Web site and get some ideas for shipping, advertising, etc.? Can't wait to see your stuff!


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## kaspirant (Apr 28, 2006)

HoneyTree.

We spent a lot of time at a theme park growing up that specialized in homemade/handmade things. I adopted the papermaker there as my grandpa and we were pen pals until I was well into college and he passed away.

We made paper and used it for stationary. He would also make stamps and decorations for the paper he made. I learned a lot from him.

I still have some of the envelopes he made me that he stamped saying "This is love Alicia month"

I'm glad it went well for you.


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## HoneyTree (Apr 5, 2005)

Holy cow, Alicia, that is such an odd and beautiful set of circumstances! Sounds like the makings of a tender Lemony Snicket novel







.


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## 3for3hb (Jan 13, 2005)

On the magazine note, my SIL told me you can get subscriptions for just about any mag on ebay for $1 or 2. Still haven't looked into it myself but just wanted to pass that along.

Gunter, I can't wait to see your work!!!

*Today we had our FIRST diaper free, potty free nap!!!!!!!!* Gabriel's really taken to his potty. He gets mad when he wets his diaper and struggles out of it first thing in the morning. He's much more dextrous at this age than Willem was, especially with regards to pulling his pants down and up. I'm not pushing him towards going diaperless all the time, only when he asks. Potty regression will probably come so I'd rather think of him as still in dipes.
On the potty note, I've made it a point to finally get us back on track and green up our bathroom. My mom had bought us a ton of disposable dipes and wipes in the summer and we used them on and off. Mostly on. Especially when my dipes needed to be stripped but just the thought of boiling diapers in a huge stock pot while I was retching at even the slightest smell smack dab in the middle of the dog days of August - yikes. Anyway, having been spoiled by the luxury (barf) of disposable wipes, I've finally taken strides to go back to cloth wipes.







and I'm wondering why it's taken so long. It takes two cloth wipes to do the work of six or seven disposables. This time I'm doing a pump thermos on the toilet lid with a stack of dry cloth wipes next to it. That way we have the option of using a wet (and warm!)wipe when we potty or a dry one (for number 2 or 1 respectively). I got the idea from green parenting. Still have to get some GSE and aloe for the wipe solution but as soon as I do we'll be set! Finally.


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## gingerstar (Jun 10, 2005)

*popping out of lurkdom for just a moment!!*

Amy, this is a bit more mainstream, but I am enjoying Wondertime Magazine - it focuses a bit more on enjoying one's children, and less the "Your Newborn! What you should know!" type of articles one finds in most parenting magazines.

I really want to read Brain, Child, too....

I don't have time to respond, but I am so excited to get beads! Thanks, kaspirant, for putting them together so nicely. Thanks everyone!

Best wishes to all the expectant mamas! And Happy Holidays, everyone!


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Teresa, a lot of my paper gets handed along to my mother (who has been making her own cards) or turned into Xmas cards. I'm pretty much 100% handmade this year, so feeling moderately proud of that.

eta: Amy, I pay about £6 for all the US import magazines







: IWK is my big impulse buy.


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
I'm pretty much 100% handmade this year, so feeling moderately proud of that.

Wow, that is awesome!!







You should be proud of that!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
eta: Amy, I pay about £6 for all the US import magazines







: IWK is my big impulse buy.

Man! That sucks. What's IWK? Gingerstar, my friend just got me a copy of Wondertime for Brynn's birthday, and I like it so far. I was turned off by all of that ADS, especially the formula ads, but hey, what are you gonna do? I submitted this picture of Brynn for their "Firsts" page (it was her first jack-o-lantern), so maybe next Halloween it'll be published.









I used to read Harper's magazine all the time, but I just get so incensed by the political corruption and stupidity in this country (as so smartly written about in that mag) that it's hard for me to read anymore. It just makes me feel like even more of a cynic than I already am, and, as Billy Bragg says, "I try to keep a lid on my disappointment /'cause cynicism is such a cop-out, I know."

On to happier thoughts.

So it looks like we are going to get a family membership at the YMCA, and I am really excited about it! They have a lap pool, an "instructional" pool (for water aerobics classes) AND a family fun pool, with a water slide, waterfalls, and those squirty fountain things. It's only about 2' deep, so totally easy to keep track of little ones. We have a free pass so we'll probably go today and take Brynn swimming, which I know she will love! They also have yoga and pilates classes, karate, toddler tumbling, swimming lessons, and all of the usual group exercise stuff. And they have a childcare room that is free, so I am going to **hopefully** get Brynn used to being there so that I can enjoy an hour of exercise without too much guilt. (Wish me luck on that!) I've decided that I really want to lose 15 pounds by summer, so if I start now and lose 3 pounds a month (a reasonable goal), I will be at my target by June 1.









In other news, it's snowing here!







: This is our first snow of the season, and Brynn is so excited about it! She said, "I want to go out and step in it!" So after breakfast we are going to bundle up and go outside to make snow bunnies.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

IWK= Interweave Knits. Of course







I am SO jealous of your snow, though.


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## Gunter (May 5, 2005)

i am so jealous of those of you getting snow right now.

those necklaces are so beautiful but wow, are they expensive or what? she and i both like green girl studios and russell wray, it seems. the tree pendant with knowledge written on the back...that is on the necklace i made on ezra's first birthday for myself. i used the leftover beads from my mother's blessing. love it.

we're supposed to be at a pool party right now. but, we couldn't find our swimsuits after staying up till 1am with friends in town. no to mention how tired we were. our friends are in a band that's playing tonight. (super awesome mom who breastfed on tour!) mil is coming to hang with ez so dh and i are going out by ourselves!!! this never happens for us so we're really stoked about it. seriously, we've left ez like three times in her two years of life and always with mil. two of those times are just in the past month. we went to a movie one afternoon then bought a jeep one evening. now, we'll get to hang with friends for a birthday celebration and a rocking concert. woo hoo!

forgot who wrote it but congrats on the dipe free nap! that is exciting. ez only wears a dipe at night now. it's so great not having to do all that laundry and it's way easier just peeing on a potty.


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## 3for3hb (Jan 13, 2005)

: We have snow too!!!!







:


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## Queen of Cups (Aug 29, 2003)

No snow here, freezing rain instead. YUCK! I hate, hate, hate ice storms. Luckily, though, we're four miles from my parents' house but we're on different power lines so hopefully even if one of our homes go out, we can all congregate (and party!) at the other house. We've turned up the thermostat and set out buckets to catch water in, so we'll make it okay if the power goes out. (bummer about living out in the country - when you're power goes out you have no water because your well pump won't work! and that means no toilet flushing. ew.)

We're all doing well here. Just in the last couple of weeks Ellie has most definitely become a two year old, she throws the occasional tantrum (no where near Killy's tantrum rate, though) and she's quite the instigator, poking and hitting Killy. And she's talking so well! She's just such a cutie, I'm loving being around her all the time.


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

No snow here, but gale-force winds and a weak, wintry sunrise below ominous black clouds. In other words, not so pleasant. I am praying daily (or more frequently) to the weather gods for snow on the eve of the solstice then a glorious sunrise over a poofy blanket of snow for the return of the sun - but the weather gods don't have a great history of listening to my prayers.

We're going to DH's family's annual Christmas brunch, which we do in lieu of major gift-giving. We still give little presents, but really little - like a book, or a pair of socks, or a box of chocolates. Which is nice, and fits in well with my home-made policy for gifts this year. Of course, Rowan woke up early this morning, which means she'll be wanting a nap right about when we get there. I hope the excitement of all her aunts and uncles and a restaurant and whatnot will overcome her desire to nap.

I need to go to the gym this morning I think. I'm feeling very grinch-like and I just need some exercise, and it's too windy to go for a bike ride. But DH seems intent on sleeping. So intent, that he's actually asleep on the couch, with the dog and the child on top of him. Sigh. That man could sleep through armageddon.


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## barcelona (May 1, 2006)

no snow here, obviously, and how we miss it!!!
we are having a christmas-y day, having our neighbors over for lunch, and then going to their (the mom is in...) a christmas choral concert. so that'll be fun! we'll see how much of it finley can sit through.

i'm so impressed with all of your homemade gifts. we do a sort of homemade gift...alex cuts together our home footage from the year of finley into a lovely movie-type thing. he's so good at it. so that is our main gift, was last year, and this year, may be the only gift, as the funds are not in place for much else.

gotta go get ready for our company!


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

To clarify, all my cards are homemade. NOT the presents







And I'm not doing many cards, either









Well, today we ripped out our kitchen. If you're awake 13 hours from the time I post this, please cross your fingers that our builders turn up tomorrow morning?


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Helen, I will get Rowan to perform a "builders please show up and finish Skye's kitchen" dance later on today.

It is SOOO windy here! I'm kind of enjoying it. Brunch went well, Rowan was adorable and ate a TON of watermelon (this is what happens when you try to keep a family on seasonal produce







) and fell asleep in the sling on the way home. She hasn't done that for a while!

I'm making soup this afternoon. It's just that kind of afternoon. Blustery - that's the word. Some of it is for a potluck at Rowan's playgroup tomorrow and some of it will get canned for presents.


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## HoneyTree (Apr 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *spughy* 
I am praying daily (or more frequently) to the weather gods for snow on the eve of the solstice then a glorious sunrise over a poofy blanket of snow for the return of the sun - but the weather gods don't have a great history of listening to my prayers.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *barcelona* 
no snow here, obviously, and how we miss it!!!

I hear ya, sisters. Gulf coast Florida is no place for snowflakes, though I'd settle for a nip in the air and being able to see my breath in the morning! That said, the streak of mid 80's temps last week was broken today with a high of about 60. We opened the windows just to be able to wrap in our blankets!


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## Gunter (May 5, 2005)

QoC- You and your babes are beautiful!

We had really warm weather all last week then it finally rained here (we've got a drought in full force with dried up lakes and water restriction in effect). since friday night, it's been chilly. i love it. i do want snow though!

we had friends in from nashville and got a night out although it was really only 3 hours. mil pulled some drama about not being able to come and we had to call her ans remind her that she was indeed coming! then, booked a train ride for her since her car had problems earlier this week and she didn't trust it. ugh! she lives less than two hours from here. she is just so scattered and stressed out these days. we keep telling her to get her act together b/c it's a bit ridiculous for a grown woman who runs her own business to be so loopy. okay, rant over.

in other news, we finally got our camera back and took pics of us decorating the tree today. we went to a different church this morning than our usual place. the long story short is we struggle with some of the things our church believes but try to address them and make change and be good examples. when we left the country, we were really not confident in going there on sunday morns and since being back feel even more strongly that our fam doesn't have a place there on sundays. so, we want a community of intentional spirituality which we do have in our little small group of friends from church that meet on wed evenings at each other's houses. but, we want it in a larger group, too. anyway, it was awesome to go this morn and feel like we fit in with some friends and hear great singing. i am really thankful to have gotten to do that today as it's been a long time since we did.


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## Kavita (Dec 7, 2004)

All those jealous of our snow should wait until we have a nice fluffy snow . . . at least in my neck of the woods it was more like freezing rain--sort of like someone dropping tablespoons of a Slurpee from the sky. lol!

I have to admit, though, that after ten years in the desert we are enjoying the change of seasons and it being kind of cold, though. My fabulous news is that I finally managed to figure out how to light the pilot light on our gas log fireplace. (I know, I know, it's terrible--don't flame me!! I may eventually have a plumber take the thing out and cap it off and convert it back to being a real woodburning fireplace. But this is how it was when I bought the house, except that nobody including the home inspector, my husband and my dad, could figure out how to light the pilot and get the thing to work. So I was very proud of myself!) Anyway now our little living room is very cozy and warm, and we are having lots of fun sitting around the fire in the evening having tea. Last week I splurged and got Ella a really adorable child's tea set, so she is really having fun having tea parties with us too. I am also reading some really good mystery novels, and so it's all very cozy around here these days. I also ordered a couch for our living room and that should be here this week or next, so I am looking forward to that. We are getting a few long-procrastinated things done these days--after more than four years of marriage, I finally am getting our ketubah (Jewish wedding contract, which is a beautiful piece of art) framed and we will hang it in the bedroom. Next to tackle--our wedding photos!

I have to admit, I am enjoying the Christmas season, if in a sort of perverse way--mostly because since almost everybody else is so frantically busy getting ready for Christmas and other regular activities sort of slow down or take a pause around now (things like playgroups, meetings, etc.) that for us it feels like things actually slow down a bit and we have extra free time, and we can just relax and appreciate everyone else's efforts from afar--look at the pretty lights and decorations, eat special cookies, enjoy getting cards from friends--without having to expend a lot of time/energy/emotional investment in it ourselves. For the most part, nobody gets us anything and we don't have to get anything for anyone either. DH tends to get some time off around the holidays too beyond his regular vacation time, so that will be nice. We usually get a few little things done around the house around this time of year for that reason, and now that we live within driving distance of my family we are giving some consideration to going to visit my for a couple of days, or just to go take a few day trips to nearby cities. Haven't decided exactly yet but that's fun too!


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## Queen of Cups (Aug 29, 2003)

Whew! I think I've actually finished all my sewing for Christmas! (okay, I have one last quilted door wreath that lacks about 15 minutes, but I have to buy the right color thread to finish it) I'm so excited to be done! I want to kick back and have a drink to celebrate, but I need to work out, I'm behind on my minutes this month. (My new year's resolution this year was to work out 1500 minutes every month, and I've made it every month so far!)

Poor Ellie is not feeling good. She was fussy and whiney all afternoon and obviously had a fever. I finally broke down and gave her some Motrin while I was fixing dinner and she was her usual cheerful self again 15 minutes later! I don't like to give the kids medicine, but it obviously made a huge difference in how she was feeling, so I'm trying not to let the mom-guilt creep in.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Poor Ellie. Hope she feels better soon.
Well, the good news is that it's 4.14am here and I'm on the computer, so it looks like the insomnia has finally kicked in







The bad news is that I'm starting to fret about Skye's cold- she's been a bit run down for a couple of weeks and it looks like she has some kind of sinus infection, because (tmi) it looks almost as if there's pus mixed in with the mucus. The homoeopath prescribed something over the phone for her, and I'm dosing her up with echinacea and zinc and vitamin C, but if we haven't had a response by the end of the week then it's going to have to be doctors and antibiotics. Poor mite









Kavita, we have a fake coal effect gas fireplace, I would never dream of flaming you. We also have gas central heating







: Sorry, that wasn't meant to be a pun.


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## Kavita (Dec 7, 2004)

Poor sickies, hope Ellie and Skye both are feeling better soon!

I am in a totally weird place sleep-wise too, although I don't have the pregnancy to account for it!! I got about a grand total of 2 hours of sleep last night, because the dogs woke me up at 3:30 ish and I couldn't get back to sleep, and then Ella woke up and *she* decided that she would like to get up, have breakfast, and play. At about 6 in the morning. Sigh. It has been a loooong, long day. I need to do something with my dog--he just barks at every squirrel, person, mosquito, bird, etc. within a block radius and it really disturbs life around here.

Oh, I forgot to say in my recent updates, Ella has been really into doll play lately, and it's soooooo sweet and cute!! She carries her baby around, hugs it, talks to it, and mostly makes *me* be it's mother--I have to nurse it, put it to sleep, help her change its diaper, etc. And fake nursing through the shirt or even a bra doesn't work--I have to actually pull my shirt up and undo the bra!







But the other day she sat in her little kid-size rocker and was wearing a long-ish dress, and I looked over and she was holding her doll in a nursing position and struggling very intently to get the dress up in front so she could nurse her baby. Of course, she ended up tossing the baby to the side so she could focus on wrestling with the dress, and by the time she managed to get it free on both sides she was sort of over it and off to a new activity, but still, it was really cute and funny!


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## MelW (Jan 13, 2005)

I keep half writing replies, then jettisoning them when I get interrupted. We're doing well- I work every day six days this week (only Thursday off), then will head to our cabin for the holidays either late Sunday or early Monday. I finish work at 11:30, and DH, Neela, MIL and BILs will be going out to the cabin on Sunday afternoon while I'm working. My DH was planning to drive back to town to pick me up and drive out after work, but since Neela has been sleeping w*ll lately (I'm still superstitious) it might make more sense to leave her with MIL. I had envisioned our first night apart to be something more romantic, though- a spa getaway or something rather than a late night at work followed by getting up and driving in the morning.

I hope the builders are working speedily, Helen, and that your pregnancy insomnia is mild. And healing vibes to both Skye and Ellie. Neela has a cold right now too, and coughed to the point of throwing up night before last. She seemed to take it all in stride and is looking perkier today.

Kavita, Ella sounds so cute! Neela likes to "put a baby in my breast", which means to button it in her shirt. It makes her look kind of pregnant.

I hope that those with snow enjoy it. Florida sounds kind of appealing right now, Teresa, since I'm among the snow haters of the world. A fine Canadian, indeed. My chronically cold hands and feet live for summertime!


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Well, the nose issue is resolved. It was a pompom







I'm a bad, bad mama for not spotting it earlier, but something we did obviously eased the swelling so that it could drop down into the cavity, then I hooked it out. Now no more smelly boogers








The building work is hell on earth- the kitchen is in place, the laminate flooring will be finished by tonight and then we just have to wait for electricity and the two new rooms are ready. Unfortunately, our floors are apparently "the hardest we've ever seen" so what should have taken 2-3 hours yesterday took a few hours yesterday and all of today, so now the plumbers are a day behind.







Just 3 more days to go, 3 more days to Xmas...


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## MelW (Jan 13, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
Well, the nose issue is resolved. It was a pompom







I'm a bad, bad mama for not spotting it earlier, but something we did obviously eased the swelling so that it could drop down into the cavity, then I hooked it out. Now no more smelly boogers









A pompom- how festive! I hope you're both feeling better now.

We so far haven't had any things in noses or ears (knock on wood) but Neela cannot resist putting things in the slot of the electric heater. Now whenever I turn on the heat I try to remember to make sure there isn't any money in the "bank". Yesterday she confessed to putting "something" in it- a piece of apple peel. Perhaps the heater was hungry?


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

There are worse things to put in the heater than apple peel - that would at least smell nice, right?

I am thankful, thus far, that Rowan hasn't shown much interest in putting stuff where it doesn't belong - no nose adventures yet (is it wrong to find the pom-pom funny, Helen?














and nothing in the VCR, the heaters (which we don't use anyway), etc. Rowan is all about taking stuff OUT of cupboards, drawers, the toybox, wherever. Yesterday I caught her playing with some memory chips for the computer (in a little plastic case, but still) - feeding them to Mousie. Frankly it would be nice if the concept of putting things IN other things would occur to her - our house constantly looks like some sort of toy-bearing cyclone hit.

Helen, how does a floor get harder than all the other floors around??? That sounds very odd. I'm still getting Rowan to do "finish Helen & Skye's kitchen" dances.

It is raining and dreary now, but I'm finally feeling pretty on top of all my present-making (one or two batches of chocolates to do) so it's all good. I sort of invented a lovely new body scrub - almond and coconut oil, sea salt, and Dr. Bronner's soap, with a bit of essential oil for pretty smells. It's all the goodness of a salt scrub, but it rinses clean instead of leaving an oil film. It still seems to be pretty moisturizing though. I'm sending some to my sisters so they can be guinea pigs.









And we're going to the neighbourhood dessert party tonight, which is always a great time. I love all our neighbours, they are all such fantastic people and we don't see nearly enough of them.


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## kaspirant (Apr 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MelW* 
A pompom- how festive! I hope you're both feeling better now.

We so far haven't had any things in noses or ears (knock on wood) but Neela cannot resist putting things in the slot of the electric heater. Now whenever I turn on the heat I try to remember to make sure there isn't any money in the "bank". Yesterday she confessed to putting "something" in it- a piece of apple peel. Perhaps the heater was hungry?


Jacob does this too!! He also calls any slot he is putting something in a *bank*. We have a tower fan that sits unused since it's cooler right now that is the favorite bank around here. DH jokes that we will be millionaires when we open it up because ALL lose change goes in it!!


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## Queen of Cups (Aug 29, 2003)

I can top all these stories... Ellie filled our Wii with pennies.










DH managed to get almost all of them out and it works again now.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

OMG, Jen. That's- you know- heinous crime material. ESPECIALLY as Wii's are so hard to get hold of over here.
I can just about laugh about the pompom, but the freaky thing is that about the same age Alex did this with a piece of foam that he ripped out of an old sofa, in almost exactly the same circumstances- had a cold, stuck something up there, cold got worse, refused to blow nose,have it touched, etc. We should have known. JIC anyone else'se kid does this, we think what got it out was rubbing some happynose (eucalyptus and geranium e.o. mixed in vaseline) under her nose overnight, which let everything constrict enough for the pompom to fall down. SO, if your toddlers ever stick something up their noses try eucalyptus oil before hospital.
I hear a rumour that it's Christmas soon, and I'm not ready. Anyone else?


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Yeah I'm not ready.







I have my mom and sisters' gifts mostly all ready to go up to them tomorrow - still have to pack them up and unmold the last of the chocolates, but I have a hobby horse to make for Rowan, and some playsilks, some pasteis de nata (portuguese custard tarts) to make for DH, brioche-based cinnamon buns for FIL... it's gonna be a busy week here!

I do have to say, though, that Rowan is being such a wonderful little help. Today we did some mad rush-around-shopping and she was SO cheerful and so happy and store clerks were loving her to bits because she's so respectful of all their stuff and other customers were loving her to bits because she was singing all over the place (and really, you haven't lived until you've paraded through a liquor store with a 3-ft child singing "The Grand Old Duke of York" at the top of her lungs complete with all the actions) and I just love her to bits period because after being dragged all over the place and not fed she was still cheerful when her daddy came home and got SUCH a kick out of decorating the Christmas tree and THEN she got dragged out to a party where she gave lots of people, including our lovely hostess, wonderful Christmas hugs and was about the best behaved toddler on the planet until way past her bedtime. My little bunny.







I just love her so much. Oh and tonight when we were heading out she grabbed her daddy's hand and kissed it and he said "oh thank you! what was that for?" and she said "because I love you very much". I want her to stay 2 forever.


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## MelW (Jan 13, 2005)

I'm almost ready. I want this week to finish off by skipping Wednesday and also Friday through Sunday (unless work lets me be on call for Sunday, in which case I'll take it). My to-do list is mercifully short: a trip to Trader Joe's and swimming on Thursday if Neela's not too sick. I want to finish sewing Neela's dress, but looking at the mound of gifts accumulating from relatives I can let myself off the hook and finish it late. And I want to make one more little gift for DH, too- but it's only a "one nap" project.

The biggest challenge of the week is figuring out how to get massive amounts of stuff to a cabin in a little car filled with people. And not freaking out at all of the people who want elective inductions to avoid Christmas babies







:

Spughy, Rowan sounds totally delightful. I'm loving the terrific twos, too.


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## MelW (Jan 13, 2005)

I'm posting again just to say that my post count has been in the 800s for months. I need to spend more time on MDC, or at least more time posting than reading. I want a senior member title!!!


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## kaspirant (Apr 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
I hear a rumour that it's Christmas soon, and I'm not ready. Anyone else?

That Christmas thing really feels just like a rumor around here. We have boxes stacked EVERYWHERE and piles and piles of stuff to go into boxes too. I won't let DH touch Jacob's playroom until the day we move and then it will be the last thing we pack and the first things we unpack. I'm trying so hard to make this transition easy for him...

We didn't decorate this year, besides getting out Jacob's LP Nativity. We play with it everyday and tell stories about the people. I can't even count the number of kisses and hugs *baby* keeps getting. I even nursed baby Jesus last night. Next Christmas I hope we are somewhere *home* like and very settled in.

Jacob scared us to death last night, we came home from playing at the Science Center and he was acting kinda lethargic, so I felt his forehead and he felt so warm. Temp was 101.5 From there we went on a roller coaster of tylenol, popsicles, warm baths, and the temp dropped then skyrocketed to 103. I was a wreck but the little munchkin took it all in stride. Bedtime he started looking kinda green so we set up for catching toddler puke...it didn't come until 4 am which immediately broke the fever. He's acting himself this morning but wanting mama attached at all times. I think I can handle that. Thank goodness for Christmas break









*hugs* everyone. Merry Christmas! (in case the move gets the best of me and I'm not on again till next year) and Happy New Year~!


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## 3for3hb (Jan 13, 2005)

Funny you should talk about your post count, Mel!!!

This is my 2000th post







:








:

Think I'll make 2008 by 2008????

Helen - I'm not ready either but oh well. I have cookies to bake for the neighbors (have to make one batch with spelt flour so I can have some and the celiac ds neighbor next door can have some too). And I have to wrap presents. Get something for my nephew, SIL (the 22 yr old has everything snob), and send my parents their gifts (well, I guess i should get started on knitting my dad's hat first







).


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

I'm not quite ready, but close. I sent out 9 boxes yesterday - home-made goodies and a few gifts for our close friends (this in addition to the 8 boxes last week). We bought a Mercy Kit for my FIL and S-MIL, and I am really curious to see how that is going to go over! They are so totally mainstream and think we are weirdos for all of our AP stuff, so I can just hear them now - "Ohhhh, a vaccination kit for third-world families. Thats...interesting."







I wonder how they'll feel next year when we buy a family a goat in their honor from Heifer. Ha! I'm kind of wiped out and the house is trashed, but I still have a bunch of stuff to wrap for Jason and Brynn, and actually stuff still to buy, too!

Speaking of the terriffic twos, Brynn has been SO SWEET lately, it just kills me. I love spending our days together. She's gotten a lot more affetionate the past couple of weeks (right after I posted that she wasn't, actually) and now she will give and receive kisses spontaneously and on request, especially if I ask her for some "shuga." Oh, and I finally got a few funny things on video, including some stories and two takes of Brynn singing Rudolph. It's pretty funny.

She's also been nursing her babies lately, and carries them around in slings a lot, but unlike most 2-year old girls, she nurses dinosaurs and lizards rather than baby dolls.









Man there was so much more I wanted to say but of course I can't remember it now. I hope that you are all traveling safely and enjoying this week and next!!


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## MelW (Jan 13, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *willemsmamma* 

Helen - I'm not ready either but oh well. I have cookies to bake for the neighbors (have to make one batch with spelt flour so I can have some and the celiac ds neighbor next door can have some too).

Spelt flour unfortunately has gluten in it, too. Rice and corn flour don't, though. It' sucks, since spelt "works" so much better in recipes







:


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## 3for3hb (Jan 13, 2005)

then rice it is!!!!!!!


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## Queen of Cups (Aug 29, 2003)

I have a friend who's borderline Celiac, basically he can have some gluten but gets sick if he overdoes it. I baked him cookies using oat flour and they worked perfectly. Oats don't have gluten, but if you buy them in the US they've almost always been contaminated during processing and do contain slight amounts of gluten.

Ellie was playing today on my exercise machine and before I could put it up, she fell off and busted right above her eye. Right on the outside edge between the corner of her eye and her eyebrow there's a big split. It looked deep, but didn't bleed much at all. I put some antibiotic ointment on it and a bandaid over it, and it didn't swell up too much. But I'm worried it'll open up and start bleeding periodically until it heals. I didn't want to take her to the ER, though. I hate going there (I always feel like I'm exposing us all to who knows what every time we step in a hospital, and ERs are the worst) and I didn't want to traumatize her with stitches. It'll be okay, right?


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

willemsmama,try making mince pies with a shortbread base instead (use a shop-prepared gluten-free flour, I like a mix of potato, corn and rice. Just rice would do though.) Honestly. The original recipe was just cornflour and butter and sugar, but I tweaked it.
2 days. We have gas, units, but the painting won't be done by Xmas. I can live with that.

Jen, I think she's going to be fine, but if I were you I'd get some arnica in her.


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## MelW (Jan 13, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Queen of Cups* 
But I'm worried it'll open up and start bleeding periodically until it heals. I didn't want to take her to the ER, though. I hate going there (I always feel like I'm exposing us all to who knows what every time we step in a hospital, and ERs are the worst) and I didn't want to traumatize her with stitches. It'll be okay, right?

I think it will be okay, too







If you're worried about it opening up you could put steristrips over it to hold it together.

Amy, Brynn is so cute. I have an almost identical video of Neela singing in dino pajamas! I think Neela might be her hairless twin, separated at birth.


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## Gunter (May 5, 2005)

happy holidays, everyone!

we had some friends over last night and i made gingerbread cake with chocolate chips and a vegan "cream cheese" frosting. i was pleasantly surprised by how well it turned out. so yummy. i have already eaten half a piece of it this morning. haha

i haven't gotten dh a single gift and don't know what to get him. we're just getting back into our life here but i cannot think of anything he needs or wants outside of having our kitchen gutted and a stove that isn't beat down and a fridge that doesn't hum constantly. but, i cannot imagine shopping for those things without his input or that either would fit under the tree. what to do?

ez has a few gifts from us and a whole box came from my mom. i am proud to say that are mainly wooden blocks, wooden vehicles and a few handknit things. this is the same woman who cannot recall what i liked in high school or what kind of degree i got in college b/c she was so not into my life. now, she knows how picky we are about what ez plays with and she works to respect it. that's one of the best gifts of all! mil, otoh is still gifting plastic crap from target. and, remains clueless about why we don't prefer it even after i have sent her numerous articles and websites about the toxicity of plastics and leads and toy recalls. ugh.

my dear friend is 11 days overdue planning her first homebirth. will you send her "come on out, baby" vibes today? we may go drop off a meal for them and hang for a bit today.


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## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=814237


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## 3for3hb (Jan 13, 2005)

woo-hoo!!!!!!!!!!


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## Gunter (May 5, 2005)

thanks for the update, fern. what a cool experience and what a neat name!


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Awwwww.







Helen and Fern....come on down!


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Gunter, that is cool that your mom is being so considerate about what she is getting for Ez! I just opened a box from Jason's aunt (for Brynn) and it's a really generic teddy bear dressed in a Christmas dress. Like, really? Does Brynn need *ANOTHER* stuffed animal that's just going to sit in the basket in the corner of her room? Apparently.

Anyway - I went out and braved the malls today to finish up my shopping for Brynn and Dh, and I will say that it was pretty much fine until around 4:00 when i started getting a vicious headache (which I still have). We met Kavita and Ella for lunch, and Brynn and Ella were being totally adorable - they started out blowing kisses, and then Ella came over and stroked Brynn's hair, and then they hugged, and then they rubbed noses, and then they kissed about 20 times. And then Brynn spotaneously told Ella and Kavita that she loved them so much!







It was the cutest thing ever!!

Kavita then passed on some holiday cheer to me by offering to let Brynn come over to their house to play so I could run a couple of last errands _sans bebe_, and I have to tell you, it was almost comical how much easier it is to shop without a toddler! Who knew??!







Brynn had so much more fun with them than she would have with me, and she got to run around naked to boot!

We totally bypassed Brynn's naptime (1:00) though, and she fell asleep in the car at 4:00, which I knew wouldn't really bode well for sleep tonight. And now it's 6:00 and she's STILL sleeping, good lord, even though I've tried to wake her up twice. Admittedly, I didn't try too hard because my head hurts so fricking bad right now that all I want to do is go to sleep too. So it's a crap shoot tonight. Wish us luck.

Helen, I'm sending you kitchen completion vibes!!!

Mel - Neela is so adorable! I watched her video and was cracking up; she knows more words to that song than I do! Brynn's bald twin - bwah ha!


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

I hope you all will send mama Awaken some of your love. I read on this thread that she had lost her wee one.


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## 3for3hb (Jan 13, 2005)

so it's for sure then?


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## barcelona (May 1, 2006)

oh no!








how far along was she?

i just found out yesterday that my brother and SIL lost their baby, at 8 weeks.
they are devastated.

here, we are definitely feeling the christmas spirit, although i'm wretchedly behind on sending gifts out and to-do's. am hoping to get on top of everything in the next few days (i guess i have to!) i hope my family is okay with the bare-minimum gift -giving we're doing this year. it's all we could manage, and i'm just awful with crafts, so that wasn't really an option.

amy, brynn is So cute! i just watched the videos, and it made my night! thanks for sharing.

QofC, i would think your wee one is going to be okay. ditto on arnica, though.

helen, hooray on the kitchen being almost done!!!

off to try and rest, so i can be productive tomorrow, with mailing out our dvd's, food shopping and planning for christmas, and wrapping.

gunter, that is so great about the gifts from your mom.

oh, and i wanted to chime in with the adorable, sweet two year olds. i have been extra-bursting with love for my little boy, who has been so sweet, patient, and loving. wish i could think of a specific story, but am too tired at the moment.

hope everyone is relishing this delightful, delicious time of year!!!


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## 3for3hb (Jan 13, 2005)

We just looked at a house down the block that is for sale, within our price range (which we thought was an impossible combination, especially in the neighborhood we're in). It would be perfect for us because the backyard literally butts up to the back alley entrance of our office. Timing is way off right now though. There is no way that we could put an offer on the place RIGHT NOW. And no way we would move before this baby (btdt, not doing it again!!!) unless it was RIGHT NOW. Dh is sort of kicking himself in the butt for letting the practice plateau after I left (I'm only there an hour a week). He just sort of still expected me to keep up with my end even when I was puking my guts out. We've started to have meetings again and he's starting to take my suggestions and follow through with them (mainly with marketing) so it's all good, in the long run, it's just now that this turned up he's a little frustrated with himself for allowing himself to slack off in order to "adjust" to the change in our plans (pg-wise).
I just hope everyone else who looks at it decides that it needs too much work and it doesn't sell until we can buy it.

ANYWAY. Keep your







: for us for the next couple months


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## Kavita (Dec 7, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *willemsmamma* 
We just looked at a house down the block that is for sale, within our price range (which we thought was an impossible combination, especially in the neighborhood we're in). It would be perfect for us because the backyard literally butts up to the back alley entrance of our office. Timing is way off right now though. There is no way that we could put an offer on the place RIGHT NOW. And no way we would move before this baby (btdt, not doing it again!!!) unless it was RIGHT NOW. Dh is sort of kicking himself in the butt for letting the practice plateau after I left (I'm only there an hour a week). He just sort of still expected me to keep up with my end even when I was puking my guts out. We've started to have meetings again and he's starting to take my suggestions and follow through with them (mainly with marketing) so it's all good, in the long run, it's just now that this turned up he's a little frustrated with himself for allowing himself to slack off in order to "adjust" to the change in our plans (pg-wise).
I just hope everyone else who looks at it decides that it needs too much work and it doesn't sell until we can buy it.

ANYWAY. Keep your







: for us for the next couple months









Why don't you meet with a lender to see where you're at?

Another possibility to consider is that you could put in an offer with a far-off closing date (2+ months) if you are pretty sure that you'll be in that position in a couple of months but just need a little time. If the seller isn't getting any other offers or is desparate you might have success with that.

Be careful with buying a house in general though--people want one so badly that they tend to be overly optimistic and gloss over any problems with the house and/or the financials, until they are living in the thing and then it's too late!!


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Kitchen's done







Just got to paint the living room, get the tree out and then we're set for Xmas- oh, and plumb the washing machine in.







: There's always something, isn't there?

Mary, if you come and read this here my little tribe are all praying really really hard for you and your family. I know this really isn't the way you hoped the holidays would be for you, and I know the next week is going to be tough in your life. We're here for you.

So, I have one and a half usable days before my mum gets here. What shall I do?







:


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## Awaken (Oct 10, 2004)

I love you guys so much, I really do. You are the best DDC ever. It has not been a fun week. But it dawned on me today, that maybe the upside of having every birth and loss at Thanksgiving and Christmas, is that each time we have already been off of work, spending extra time with loved ones, and making happy memories so it really is a good time of year for this to happen (Well I mean, if it has to happen- you know what I mean.)- we have something positive to remember the season by, not just the sad things.

Thanks for all the car discussions a while back- it really gave me some food for thought.

Quote:


Originally Posted by **Amy** 
I love sending goodies out in lieu of "gifts". Brynn and I had so much fun making them, and then we made a glitter hand-print (of Brynn's hand) on a piece of brown recycled paper (like a paper bag) and wrote "Made with loving hands" and put it on top of all of the treats so it'll be the first thing our loved ones see when they open the box.







So fun!

Amy, that sounds delicious!! And the 'made with loving hands'- so cute! I may have to steal your idea for next year!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *barcelona* 
Speaking of moms, I find it remarkable/interesting that so many of us have poor/non-existent mother figures...and here we are, mothering so consciously, with such awareness, purpose, affection, and attachment. We are breaking cycles everywhere!

That is awesome







I see it as something good, and some purpose coming out of the crap that we went through. I doubt I'd be half the parent I am today if I hadn't had some struggles along the way.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MelW* 
It is perfect, Amy! I love Brain, Child. It's kind of the New Yorker of parenting mags. It's less AP than mothering, but smarter (and less glossy, less advertising, too).

I







Brain, Child! Highly recommended. I don't subscribe b/c it takes me forever to get through any mags and I don't want a ton of them sitting around, but whenver I can get my hands on a used copy I'm all over it! Sharon- I'll have to check out that magazine you mentioned.
A friend at yoga brought me a whole bag of Utne magazines, just to be nice! I am so happy to have some interesting reading material!

Mel, and Amy- I'm so glad the girls are sleeping a little better! Any little bit of improvement is something to celebrate! I hope they keep it up.

Jen, Helen, Mel- I hope the girls are feeling better! Helen, I'm glad it was 'just' a pompom!









Spughy- your body scrub is a great gift idea! I'm going to keep that in mind for next year.

Alicia- scary! I'm so glad he was all right, and the fever broke.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MelW* 
I think Neela might be her hairless twin, separated at birth.











Happy weekend, and happy holidays everyone


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## kaspirant (Apr 28, 2006)

Oy vey what a day.

Jacob couldn't/wouldn't walk today. At first I thought it was a sleeping foot...but after an hour of him refusing to stand on it I began to realize something may be much more seriously wrong. 2 hours after he woke up he still wasn't taking more than one limping step without bursting into tears and falling down.

So we left at 10 this morning for the ped. We left the ped's office at 5 pm. We have a best guess but nothing for certain. When we got there, Jacob was trying to take steps but couldn't hold his weight for more than one step before he would fall down. He finally figured out he could get places by crawling so he just gave up on walking at all. Dr B checked him out and agreed "yep something is not right" She ordered x-rays and blood tests to rule out fracture and bacterial infection. She gave us a worst case scenario of a bone infection that would end up with him hospitalized. We tried desperately tried not to worry and took him down for the blood draw. The phlebotomist was HORRIBLE. She couldn't get his vein so she kept jabbing him with the needle over and over and over. She was rude and had no skills with working with kids at ALL. Adam finally told her to stop (I had no clue she hadn't actually started the blood draw yet because of how she had me holding him I couldn't see what she was doing) Jacob was hysterical. We decided to wait on the blood draw and went for the x-rays. I was SO glad at this point that I chickened out of doing the doctor on my own and called Adam at work to come too. I couldn't go in because of Leah, so I laid Jacob on the table and left as they were getting everything ready. Jacob and I both SOBBED through the x-rays. It was horrible. Not even THREE minutes after the x-rays were finished the entire hospital lost power. I was SO glad the x-rays were done before that happened.

As soon as they started doing labwork again with the power still out, Adam went and asked if there was a different phlebotomist to do the blood draw. We were told we would have to wait an hour to an hour and a half. I wasn't willing to wait that long and then wait for the results as well. The lady then started refusing telling me I'd have to wait for the new one to come on. I looked at her and told her to do her job and we got the blood draw done with no problems this time. I held Jacob *my* way and made sure he was comfortable before she started. After she was all "That worked really well" No joke, sherlock.

Both the blood draw and the x-rays came back normal. The doctor *thinks* it is transient synovitis but if it doesn't improve by Christmas we will go back and start more tests and such.

The kicker. Jacob is now on bedrest. How, pray tell, am I supposed to keep my hyperactive 2 year old (just ask anyone who knows him this kid doesn't stay still) on bedrest?!?!?! I'm praying this heals quickly and I am so glad it isn't something more serious.


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## 3for3hb (Jan 13, 2005)

kaspirant!

Not to be cliche or anything but have you considered taking him to a chiropractor? Other than getting adjusted, if it were my child I'd do microcurrent therapy on wherever it hurt. I did it on Gabriel's face when he fell (I have no idea how) and his face swelled up to where his upper lip was an inch and a half thick (no exaggeration!). He looked like a duck. Was very lethargic because of all the swelling etc.
Anyway, Jacob would get hooked up to a muscle stim machine with electrodes but he wouldn't feel anything. They aren't sure exactly how microcurrent works but it is the "current of healing." Within ten minutes of taking the electrodes off of Gabriel, (after a twenty minute session) the swelling had gone down significantly, like almost 70%! We did it once a day for three days and after the second session his swelling was completely gone.

I'll ask dh if he has any suggestions too. Try not to worry. Can you get him to take any natural anti inflammatories?

Big big hugs!! Poor Jacob. I hope he got some Rescue Remedy today!


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Oh, Alicia! How awful.



































I hope he gets better soon, I hope it IS transient synovitis.

And Awaken, big



































for you too.







I'm so sorry.

Helen, I'm so glad your kitchen is done! I think you should spend that free day and a half sleeping. (yeah, what are the chances???







)

Amy, Rowan LOVED the videos of Brynn singing the Rudolph song. I asked her if she wanted to make a video like Brynn and she was all "oh yes please mummy" and she said she wanted to sing jingle bells, so we went to our Christmas tree and I turned on the camera and said "ok, let's sing jingle bells!" and she promptly burst into tears.







:. Well, that's what I get for being a pushy copy-cat mama, I guess! I did get some footage of her singing it tonight, but it's at the end of a lengthy video that involves some whining about her "books" (christmas cards, in reality), some humping of Daddy's leg, and her reading some of my recipe books ("there's an egg and there's another egg and there's another egg"), so I need to do a bit of editing.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

kaspirant.

I had teno-sinuvitis after my wrist fracture in my teens, and it responded well to infrared treatment. I'd suggest that you get that possibility ruled out. You CAN'T put a 2yo on bedrest, but there are things you can do- like long walks with him in a stroller- that will keep him off his feet.

Spughy, I have one wall of the living room (the long one) which needs a third coat of paint, then I'm putting the sofa together, taking the other one to the tip and getting Xmas decorations sorted







I did the food shopping this morning- I'm just pondering the question "to brine or not to brine?" It's a free-range, non-organic turkey, if that makes any difference to anyone's answer.


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Kaspirant, that sounds so scary and horrible!!!







I think when things like that happen, it's got to be at least as traumatic (if not moreso) for the mama as it is for the child.







: Quick healing vibes for Jacob. Maybe instead of bedrest, could you sling him in some way? Do you have an ergo? Just thinking maybe he'd be happier to be still if he were attached to you or your DH?

Spughy, that is hilarious!

Awaken, I'm glad you can find a silver lining to your raincloud this holiday season. Wishing you lots of love and peace this coming week!


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## Queen of Cups (Aug 29, 2003)

Wow, so much going on! Kaspirant, that is so scary. Looking back, I think I had that one summer when I was about 7! My grandmother was scared to death I had polio, but the rest of the family just described it as "growing pains."

I've decided to start a new tradition this year! On Christmas Eve we go to my parents house for a traditional Christmas dinner, then we go to church for the Candlelight Service, then we come back to their house to exchange presents. The next morning we'll do our Christmas at home, then go to the in-laws house to exchange presents. I think they'd been expecting us to stay and have Christmas dinner with them, but I let them know that we'll be coming back home and having our own Christmas dinner (and they didn't even throw a fit! it's a Christmas miracle!). ANYWAY, I'm going to make lasagna for dinner and then we'll have a birthday cake for Jesus. I think its really hard for the kids to recognize that Christmas is a celebration of Jesus' birthday (for Christians, at least - I'm Christian and DH is atheist) and I'm thinking a birthday cake will make it more real/obvious. Anyway, I'm excited to start a few of our own traditions... holidays are always a bit stressful for me because my ILs have these very precise traditions that they are usually pretty fanatical about, to the point that its intimidating and makes the holiday a lot less fun for me, at least. For example, on Christmas morning, everyone comes down and opens their stockings one at a time, then you must go get a plate of food - sausage balls, cheese braid, and Christmas tea are always served, then we go around the room opening presents one at a time but the Santa presents must be opened first, then at the very end you may open the family-exchange presents... oh, and my MIL sometimes gets really obsessive about what order you open presents in, so every time its your turn to open a present, you have to ask "Is this one okay?" about six times before she okays it. And, there's seriously 20+ presents for everyone in the family. Prior to Christmas we have the very regimented Christmas Tree decorating party (last week), plus the annual Christmas Cookie baking day (luckily I can send the kids to do that now instead of participating myself, last time I did it MIL spent the whole time pointing out how I don't do it exactly like SIL always has - even though SIL doesn't care enough to come participate), and I know I'm forgetting something else during the season... Its insane (and kind of weird to me, since they're not even Christians), but it has gotten a bit relaxed since the kids started participating. And, I'm stressed about our trip next weekend to visit their extended family. My FIL told me a few years ago that his mother and sister like me, "Because they think you're a knockout, that's what's important to them." So, now I'm always insanely stressed about being judged based on my appearance, I struggled with an eating disorder in my college days and you never fully recover, you know? Anyway, I've gained a few pounds since last Christmas and am really struggling with not liking how I look at the moment and knowing that I'm going to visit a bunch of people who like me based solely on how I look freaks me out. Plus, I'm mad at myself for even caring! Its so silly! Its shallow of them, and I'm just buying into it if I let myself get all worked up.

Okay, there was my little pre-holiday meltdown. Thanks for letting me vent! I can't write much about this on my blog, since my ILs read it everyday. And DH goes into, "Why are you so stressed about this? They don't mean any harm! Why are you being a bitch?" if I try to share with him how stressed I am. You know, I want to create traditions for my family, but I want them to be a celebration and not a ritual that will exclude anyone who ever joins our family, you know?


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## kaspirant (Apr 28, 2006)

*hugs* mamas.

I'm so sleepy. We do have an beco...but I'm 29 weeks preggo so that makes using it near impossible...for me but DH has tried. I am curious if it's hip pain though how the beco is on that pain..I don't even know if our ped would really know the answer to that...I guess if it hurts he'd tell us.

I thought of the stroller too...Here's hoping for a nice long walk today. I know I can't keep him on bedrest, but it's so heartbreaking to see him *try* to walk, and fail in pain. We are doing the best we can with keeping him out of pain. I can't try many new things for the pain for him because with us moving next week we had to pay rent in both places this month so we are kinda seriously broke.

I hadn't thought of the chiropractor and kinda wish we had done that first. I know I freaked out a bit too much when it all started happening. With being pregnant, and an emotional wreck from work right now I pretty much lost it when he woke up and wouldn't walk. We love our ped and she has been so supportive of our semi-crunchiness I just wish we hadn't had to do all that stuff we didn't *want* to do to rule out all the bad things it could have been. I'll have to call and see what my co-pay is. SUCKS that money is such an issue right now...

He is such an active little guy. It's crazy when we get together with barcelona because her little guy will just sit and play with things for periods of time happy as can be and Jacob runs and runs and runs. He's always been that way.

*Awaken* You are in my heart and prayers. I admire you in all you say here, I pray your heart is where your words are and you find comfort and peace in being with your family.

*barcelona* I miss you. I wish it wasn't so dang hard for us to find time to play together. *hugs* to you and all your family!!

*flapjack* YAY! on the kitchen. How seriously exciting.

*Kavita*

Quote:

Be careful with buying a house in general though--people want one so badly that they tend to be overly optimistic and gloss over any problems with the house and/or the financials, until they are living in the thing and then it's too late!!
That is exactly why we will rent when we move to Colorado before we buy our house...but DANG it is going to be so hard to wait. We have our down payment it was our wedding gift from our parents. I'm really hoping though, that the house we buy is the house we retire in. I want a home for my kids to come home to. A place they can bring special people to and
reminisce about their childhood. DH has that and it is so very special. When he first brought me *home* to his parents we spent days wandering around and I got to see into him in ways he never knew how to open up before. I got to hear stories of the places, people and things that made him the man I love and cherish. I want that for my kids.

*willemsmamma* Praying your perfect house is there and ready when you are. *even if it isn't the one you think it is now*

*hugs* mama. The boys just woke up so here we go for a fun-filled day of packing and trying to keep Jacob off his feet.


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## MelW (Jan 13, 2005)

Kaspirant~







I hope that you guys have a better day and that the rest isn't too challenging! How exhausting

QofC~ Enjoy your family celebrations and may the rest just roll off your back.

Awaken~ Big hugs to you and your family.

Spughy~







about Rowan's movie. My biggest challenge in toddler video making is trying to shoot only above the waist, since she rarely wears bottoms









I feel like this year I have the "spirit" of Christmas in a most positive sense. My mind-space is so good about it- I'm enjoying Neela's delight in the lights and music, the joy of making and choosing gifts for family, baking foods that we celebrate with and spending time with family. I certainly have had a few moments of wanting to snap at a toddler who would watch Christmas specials and eat candy all day long if I let her, but I feel like enjoying Christmas through her eyes has really made the traditions special for me. I was raised and remain totally secular/non-religious, but still love the specialness of the Christmas/Soulstice/Yule celebrations.

We're off to our cabins tomorrow, so wishing you all a wonderful week!


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## Gunter (May 5, 2005)

happy winter solstice today! we loaded up the bird feeders this afternoon to celebrate then baked gingerbread cookies for the first time ever. so much fun.

helen- s glad that your kitchen is done! and, so jealous, too b.c mine needs some serious help.

kaspirant- what a roller coaster. i hope that jacob's foot heals asap. and, i hope that he doesn't go stir crazy while trying to rest. how do you feel about movies or signing times videos? i would even mail you our whole stash of signing times for a long borrow time if you want. just pm me about it.

willemsmama- the house beside me is for sale. PLEASE buy it. I even know a Realtor who had all his kids at home! I love where i live!

QoC- as someone trying to know/love god, i struggle to figure out how to celebrate christmas each year and am finding it especially hard now that i have to talk about stuff with ezra. my roommate in college always grew up with the jesus birthday cake. i am thinking about doing it this year, too to help ezra frame it more as a celebration of the birth of jesus. OT but, do you ever get frustrated with things dubbed, "the birth of jesus" and they never actually say ANYTHING about the actual labor or birth? must be the doula in me that gets upset about that!

it's too long of a rant for now but i am having MAJOR MIL issues right now. she's basically bordering on screwing up our chirstmas plans with her smothering! she didn't tell or ask when she would come to visit until thursday night...she assumed she would come sunday and stay through christmas! uuuhmm, what? she's only been here on christmas eve to stay the night and that was a month after ez was born more than it was about the holiday part. i love waking up at my own house on christmas morning and doing the cheesy under the tree dive after making a big breakfast. the shameful part is that i just don't want to share all of that with her around! someone kick me. how lame that i don't even want my own MIL around on christmas. she sent us a major guilt inducing e-mail about having to spend christmas "alone or with another person's family". sorry, i meant to not rant and to stay positive. just send the spirit of kindness my way, mamas!

happy holidays, everyone!


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## barcelona (May 1, 2006)

Gunter, I *completely* understand where you are coming from. DH & I are both very protective about our sacred Christmas day, especially that morning. This is actually the first Christmas we'll have, since Finley's birth, just the three of us. I can't wait!!!! SIL and her boyfriend will come over for dinner, which will be nice, but I'm anticipating, with great joy, sharing our special Christmas morning together. I hope your MIL can understand...or if you do decide to have her over, that it is still special for your family.

QofC, your new tradition sounds great! And I'm thrilled it went over easily with the IL's. And talk about stressful, with them! I was stressed just reading about it. I don't blame you for wanting to take back some of the holiday for yourself. I hope it's a wonderful few days, with family and yourselves.

Helen, YAY on the kitchen!!!!

Kaspirant, let's make sure to get together as soon as 2008 is upon us. We'll come help unpack in your new little cabin







I'm so sorry for your big scare with Jacob. We are sending all of our loving healing vibes your way. I hope he can walk by Christmas. Poor little guy!!!

Awaken, I am so sorry for your loss, and am so inspired by your positive perspective during this time. I am glad you are surrounded by family, love, and the warmth of the season. I hope it continues to heal you.

Mel, it all sounds delightful! And I know what you mean. This year's Christmas feels sort of like the first one since I was a kid...seeing and feeling it all through Finley's wide eyes. It is so much fun.

I have been a bit stressed getting presents out the door, and money stress, as usual, but I think that is all behind me now, and I am relaxing, enjoying my family, our tree, the lights, clementines and cookies, carols, and our sweet angel of a boy.

Oh, and good things have happened with my career this week, so that is helpful and hopeful, especially as the strike looks like it will last so long, and my career will continue to be on hold. Ah, patience. And I will happily focus on motherhood and learning more in the domestic spheres of my life, while the strike keeps going on. And I will have to write on the side, too, which I'm doing, and am excited about.

Merry Christmas everyone!!!


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Gunter, I too understand about the MIL thing, believe me! My MIL has toned it down quite a bit this year but we have had many a struggle about boundaries and expectations - especially around birthdays and holidays. (That being said, I got two boxes via express mail from her yesterday, totalling $90 in postage, filled with size 4T and 5T clothes - for my kindergardener, I guess? - and other bizarre/used crap. I really would have preferred a nice card sent regular mail with a gift card to Gymboree, but hey.) I thought she was going to come up for Christmas but turns out she won't be here, and neither will DH's (extremely annoying) childhood friend we were expecting either, so it's just the three of us. YAY! We're going to have a quiet family Christmas morning, and then have dinner with two other families who also don't have family in this area, which I think will be nice and relaxed, but fun. And it won't be at our house, so even better! I'll get to cook some of my favorite dishes to share, which is one of the things I love about Christmas, but won't have to worry about our house getting trashed by six kids (four of whom are toddlers!).







Tomorrow is when we take our stuff to the Home of the Innocents for the orphans and pregnant teens, and then open our new jammies.

We didn't do anything for Solstice yesterday, which I feel kind of bad about, but I have to remind myself I don't have to do *everything* this year. We did take Brynn to a living Nativity last night, which she really enjoyed - especially the goats - so I guess that will have to count as our solstice activity.









And back to your post, Gunter, I can totally relate to your struggles about how to celebrate Christmas. I am not a Christian, but DH is, although more in a "Jesus was a great teacher" kind of way than the dogmatic save-your-soul kind of way. Even though I'm not, though, I still feel that since we are celebrating Christmas, we need to teach Brynn the reason we are doing it, so I've been trying to keep everything as "authentic" as possible. The birthday cake is a really good idea, too! I hadn't thought of that. But last night I was at the living Nativity thing, and one of the ladies asked Brynn, "Did you see the baby? Did you see the Savior?" and I was like, "Brynn, that is baby Jesus, just like on our Advent table!"







Savior...? Not so much, for us. Anyway.

barcelona, I was thinking about you the other day, and the whole writer's strike. What a bummer that is going on right when your career is really taking off! I hope it resolves quickly!

Kaspirant, still thinking of you and Joseph.









Helen, how's your down-time going? Getting lots of rest?









Mel, that is awesome. Glad you are really feeling the spirit.









Jen, umm...DH's family sounds kind of awful. I don't have any words of advice but I hope you can come to a peaceful place inside yourself about it before you have to see them. My best friend has some really weird issues with her family right now and was worried about how to handle her dad when she saw him on Thanksgiving, and I suggested just deciding not to let any of it get to her that day and focus on making it a special day for *her* family - herself, her husband, and their kids. I think it helped to remind her that she is indeed an adult too and has her own family to think about. I know sometimes when we are with the older generation of our families, it is easy to feel like the "kids" ourselves, so I have to remind myself too, I am a mother, a woman, and a wife - not a child - and I don't have to engage in anyone's family drama bullshit. But here's a hug to get through the next few days!









Well Brynn's still sleeping so I need to go balance the checkbook while I have a few moments. So enjoy this Christmas Eve-Eve, y'all!









PS: I really miss Fern.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

I miss Fern too. I'm really excited for the point when she moves back down to the city to have this babymoon. (Anyone know if Christa's popped yet, btw?)

Downtime- well, we wimped out of the walk around the woods tonight, the boys and I had a nice mellow afternoon wrapping all the family presents and putting the tree up







I can't believe we did it and got the living room redecorated and the whole house ready for Xmas in two days. My family kicks ass.

Gunter, I go for the total hypocrisy option with the nativity. I'm pretty sure that the reason that we celebrate Christmas in mid-winter is because there was an established tradition of big, big parties just after the winter solstice and Christianity couldn't find a reason for one of their own, so they drew parallels between the christ child and the sun god, and frankly, fair enough. For us, it's a time for celebrating family- and remembering those of our family who were practicing Christians- and being grateful for what we've got. We have a tree, we choose not to have a nativity, and we have a heck of a lot of greenery and candles- or at least, we will.

Did I mention I'm exploring Quakerism, by the way? Whilst I think following the celtic wheel of life is something that's going to stay with me for the rest of my life, I'm too far away from where I started out and my family were/are spiritually- so the journey continues. Their message, of god in everyone, ties in so closely with what I believe myself, that I want to know more.


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Hey Helen, if it helps any, all the Quakers I've known have been completely awesome people.







:

We celebrated the solstice last night with friends and a duck for dinner. Needless to say, the duck occupied a different place at the table than my friends did.







It was a very nice locally raised pastured happy duck, and it went very well with the sour cherry confit.







: And my friends' little boy is Rowan's BFF and they play SO well together and have little conversations which is just the cutest thing EVER. Anyway, it was a wonderful evening and a good time was had by all.

Today is DH's birthday - poor guy, it always gets eclipsed by Christmas. In a weird coincidence, it's also my friend Marci's (who was over for dinner last night) birthday. Anyway, I have to make an angel food cake today, so last night I separated a bunch of eggs and made eggnog with the yolks.

Rowan has a snuffy nose and I feel like I'm fighting a cold. I hope it doesn't really materialize.

I sympathize with those of you with difficult families. That's one good thing about having DH's parents in town, we just wander over to their place when we're ready in the morning. But, we're also always expected at their place for dinner, and it's the usual overcooked bland everything. But, I've stopped looking at it as an eating occasion - it's a socializing occasion, and so it's fine. I never feel horribly stuffed late on christmas day, at least! I miss my family though. We always had awesome Christmas dinners - and my sisters and mom will be doing so in my absence. I think this year it's the same thing we always had growing up, wild goose with wild rice, mushroom & waterchestnut stuffing, braised spiced red cabbage, etc. In the past we've done lobster, or turducken, or other fancy stuff.

I also just found out that my younger sister MADE Rowan's present... a collection of wooden blocks. All different kinds of wood, so they'll all be different weights and feel different, and she cut, stained/painted and finished all of them.







What an awesome aunt. I can't wait to see them.

I need to go relight the fire now. Sorry for the ramble. I like the jesus cake idea, but I also like the flaming christmas pudding







And since Rowan isn't that into dessert, I think for this year anyway something on fire will go over rather better than boring old birthday cake.


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## Kavita (Dec 7, 2004)

Just popping in quickly to read up and say hi! I need to get to bed/sleep!

We went to a nice xmas party tonight, with a bunch of DH's coworkers and their families who moved here with us. It was actually quite fun. Of course it took for-ev-er to get Ella to sleep later. And by the time I did, I was just so wired up myself that I couldn't sleep. And here I still am. Sigh.

Tomorrow we will begin celebrating the Christmas holiday with our own very special family tradition--Yuletide Home Renovation.







I have a 5 gallon bucket of paint sitting here and we are going to repaint the living room, dining room, hallway, and master bedroom. We just got our new couch on Friday, and I'm liking having a couch instead of the ratty futon! So that's life in the fast lane over here!

Alicia, hope your LO recovers quickly and that things go smoothly with that and moving. Make sure to drink enough water!!

Q of C, that does sound really rigid with the family thing! Glad you'll have time for your own immediate family away from the whole extended family brouhaha.

Barcelona, I too was wondering about the strike and how that's affecting you at this point. Heck, I'm just freaking out that Grey's Anatomy (my one show that I actually watch) is grinding to a halt . . . I can't imagine if my livelihood were involved too, that would be very difficult. But it sounds like you're taking it in stride and making the best of the situation and the time with your family!

Helen, glad that your house is coming together!! Sounds like it's going to be so nice to have it all done!!

Mel, glad that you are enjoying the wonder of the season through Neela's eyes!

Gunter, hope things work out with your MIL and you have the Christmas morning you desire with your family, one way or another!

Amy, not much to say to you since I just talked to you on the phone not too long ago! glad you are feeling better. (And on a purely selfish note, also glad that you and Brynn didn't end up having something horrible and contagious right after Ella and Brynn were makin' out!







)


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## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
I miss Fern too. I'm really excited for the point when she moves back down to the city to have this babymoon. (Anyone know if Christa's popped yet, btw?)



im here! ive just been sick.. sick.. sick.. the worst cold ive ever had times 20 and now i have a cold sore on my bottom lip to add icing to the cake. sheesh..

and im trying to get christmas shopping and crafting, baking and all of that stuff done. plus im having to re-nest all over again in the *big* darkish living room of my parents and ive been moving things around and trying to figure out where top put everything so it feels cozy but also practical for a water birth, then baby moon ect ect..

i've been peeking in here but not with enough time to read everything and respond and i always feel lame when i just say hi but have nothing of substance to say.

and ngaio has been possessed by the devil or something. she is downright horrible at times.. mostly at bed time. two nights in a week she has woken with screaming and yelling and sobbing at like 3am but wont let me near her to comfort her. she even goes as far as screaming "i hate you mom" "leave me alone" "no mom no" and in between sobbing with her hand over her mouth like she is in pain. and ive nearly been in tears both nights. i don't know if its nightmares or what but its hard to take. im so worried that she is going to do this when im in labour or when the baby is tiny and its a bit stressful...nothing has changed except everything, and i know transitions can be hard on little people, but still..this is pretty drastic. and last night it took me 3 hours to get her to sleep when normally it takes moments...it was more of the screaming and yelling and sobbing but not letting me hold her or comfort her. she is usually such a happy, easy going little munchkin. this is just so not like her









ps. i think christa did have her baby.. a boy i believe.. she posted in the december ddc.

ETA link..
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=815799

so thats my update. sorry for being MIA


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## Gunter (May 5, 2005)

yay for christa! i just saw her post. she and i were swap partners back when we were preggo together last time. dh and i otally liked the name landon which she named her nov babe!

sorry to hear that ngaio is having a hard time. ez sometimes puts her hand over her mouth like that (while crying and other times) and i always ask if her mouth is hurting her. but it doesn't seem like that is what's wrong. she has been throwing things just this week and it's really bothering dh and i. like, where did that come from all of a sudden? hope they both can get settled back into themselves soon and especially while we're in labor/nursing newborns!

kavita- my bf is painting her kitchen this week after an inspirational ikea trip to check out cabinets. i want a couch from there, too. we had to get rid of ours after we got back from bali. it was way torn and had fleas and really gross dirty. disgusting. so, we picked one out with a lounge on it. just gotta get some decent cash flow first and then we can order it!

spughy- that is so awesome that your sis made rowan's gifts! sorry that you don't get to be close to them right now.


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## Kavita (Dec 7, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Gunter* 

kavita- my bf is painting her kitchen this week after an inspirational ikea trip to check out cabinets. i want a couch from there, too. we had to get rid of ours after we got back from bali. it was way torn and had fleas and really gross dirty. disgusting. so, we picked one out with a lounge on it. just gotta get some decent cash flow first and then we can order it!


Oooooooh, Ikea!  We looked at their couches there too--I kind of like some of them there. Of course, the nearest one is about 6 hours drive from here, so the shipping would sort of defeat the purpose of buying a cheap couch. In the end we bought an inexpensive leather couch from Ashley furniture. Obviously, not a vegetarian option, but I think it will withstand the dogs and children better than fabric.

Anyway, hope that all who celebrate are having a very Merry Christmas Eve!!


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

I'm going to jump the gun a little and wish everyone a merry Christmas now! It's not quite nine here, but I have a few minutes and thought I'd do a quick post.

Rowan's got a cold, poor little monkey. She had a hard time with her nap today, which was late anyway, and I ended up having to wake her at 6 for dinner. Now of course she's jumping all over the place, totally junking out on Toopy & Binoo so I could finish my baking. Things are resting in the fridge now, I just have the custard filling for DH's tarts to do and I have to finish FIL's cinnamon buns - they'll rise overnight and bake tomorrow am.

Tomorrow I get to spend most of the day in the kitchen preparing for our Open House on Boxing Day. SOOOO looking forward to that. I'm making many delicous non-Xmas yummies. Yay cooking!

Anyway, I hope everyone has a lovely Christmas.


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## Queen of Cups (Aug 29, 2003)

Merry Christmas!


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Merry Christmas!

Our new sofa is from IKEA, btw- a 4 seater klippan. It's big enough to hold two adults, two kids, a toddler and a dog comfortably, and I heartily recommend it BUT it needs cushions. I've been spending too much time on it today- my feet swelled up yesterday and the GP put me on antibiotics for a UTI, ordered me back on Thursday to have my BP checked and told me to keep my feet up. On Xmas Eve. Yeah, right. I think it's nice she tried, though.
Hugs to everyone, and Fern, can you keep track of the date your snuffles started for me please? I STILL believe that mother nature knows exactly what she's doing when so many full-term mamas come down with colds. That said, I hope you feel better soon.


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## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

well, its christmas.. its been a nice morning. the kids are upstairs playing with their toys.. ngaio got a waldorf doll with a sling and a teeny baby inside and a doll sling so she can carry her doll who is carrying her baby. its very cute. i gave her my old wooden doll bed that she had never seen with some new blankets made by grama g and she is ever so happy, she is trying to sleep on it but its about half her size







. elwynn has a playmobil pirate ship with about 500 pieces, he is in heaven and above...actually it feels like i gave them way too much, but i guess im feeling like they will need a lot of other distractions while im having so much energy focused on this new baby very soon. nhaio is still sick as well, so im really hoping that this baby will wait a few more weeks so we are all healed up and healthy, but im already 2 cm dialated and a very soft thin cervix..so we shall see.

helen: i think i woke up sick monday the 17th..i know i was sick that wednesday because that was the day elwynn had his school concert. i was finally feeling better yesterday but this am i woke up with a new different sore throat (only on one side..)and a tooth ache on a tooth that ive known for months was eventually going to bother me..but why now. why?







i need to get it pulled but i know most dentists wont do it when you are so close to baby having...i could get antibiotics but if baby comes while im on them im so worried about thrush. plus i never take them and i just dont want to do any more harm to my hurting body...

my bp is kinda irritating me.. its always been on the high side durring pregnancy and it hasn't changed yet so far but my midwife is still saying "lots of protein..rest..ect" which is hard at this time of year when a) im sick, cant taste anything and it hurts to swallow and b) there is way too much to do to rest
.. but my mom is cooking a massive organic turkey so im going to eat as much as i can even if i cant taste the stuff









so merry christmas to you all.


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## barcelona (May 1, 2006)

*MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!*


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## flyingspaghettimama (Dec 18, 2001)

: Merry x-mas.







:

And take care of yourself, MamaFern. If your MW is telling you to eat lotsa protein and rest, it's pretty important...does she worry you're gonna go preeclamptic? You can also take epsom salt baths, up your vitamin B, folic acid, and a calcium/magnesium supplement, and feel free to PM me for any more natural tricks with blood pressure/pree. Good luck!


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Fern, your tooth could be doing your BP- look for the top figure rising, rather than the bottom. I'm in a similar situation right now on sofa-rest, (yeah, right) so you have my sympathies







Have you tried zinc, B vits and vitamin C to kill off these infections?


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Merry post-Christmas! We had a fun morning of opening gifts - I got knitting needles and a VERY nice how-to-knit book, which includes a DVD, so I will have no excuse for not being able to knit some really awesome stuff this year. Brynn got WAY too much stuff, most of it nice (some crap, of course) but I am seriously going to put about 66.66% of it up in her closet for a few months from now.

I got really sad seeing a picture of my family all together at my Dad's house, and started crying, and asking DH what the hell are we doing here? I kind of felt down for the rest of the day, despite having Christmas dinner with friends. It just doesn't feel right to be so far from family, especially at Christmas. But as we discussed again last night, this is where we need to be for now. Sigh.

Today I'm going to the gym (by myself!!) and then we're going to Barnes & Noble to spend our gift cards, and maybe over to Kavita's to collect some worms. Good times!!









Fern, try to take good care of yourself Mama. It won't be much longer now. Helen - you too!! As of today, there is nothing else that must be done, is there?? Time to rest, lady!

Jen, what a beautiful collage of your family photos! How did it go with the extended in-laws yesterday?

Spughy, can I come for your party? Sounds like fun!


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## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
Fern, your tooth could be doing your BP- look for the top figure rising, rather than the bottom. I'm in a similar situation right now on sofa-rest, (yeah, right) so you have my sympathies







Have you tried zinc, B vits and vitamin C to kill off these infections?

my bp is bordering on high, but it hasn't changed since 25 weeks (my first time getting it checked..) but i guess my midwife just wants to be sure its not going to get higher. and yep..ive been taking zink and vit c and extra cal/mag and echinacea and homepathic remedies..i havnt taken extra b vitamins, mostly because my prenatal is high in them.. but i could add it.
last night i barely slepy because my head was spinning and i had such bad heartburn (it only happens once in a while for me) im not sure if i was feverish or what but im still feeling queezy and unsettled. im trying to take care of myself, but its friggin hard right now.

on a nice note its my baby elwynn's 5th birthday! i cant believe that 5 years ago today i was in the end stretch of a very long labour..he was born at 1:41 in the afternoon dec.26th. so tiny and sweet


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## Awaken (Oct 10, 2004)

It's only been a couple days and there is so much to catch up on already! First of all, a very merry christmas to everyone- I hope you all had a wonderful day.

And speaking of Ikea, dh and Ethan just walked in from being there all afternoon!

*alicia* oh no! I am so sorry to hear about Jacob's foot. How is he today? I hope it's something that can resolve on it's own. I agree, I don't see how anyone could keep an active toddler on bedrest! I like the long walk in the stroller suggestion! I am thinking of you, esp. w/ your job, pregnancy, and living situation.[/QUOTE]

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kaspirant* 
*willemsmamma* Praying your perfect house is there and ready when you are. *even if it isn't the one you think it is now*

I couldn't say it better myself. *monique*, I hope it all works out for you when and how it's supposed to. It will be so exciting, one of these days in the near future, when you have a new baby, new home, and thriving practice!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Gunter* 
"the birth of jesus" and they never actually say ANYTHING about the actual labor or birth? must be the doula in me that gets upset about that!

I really like the jesus' birthday cake idea! We have so many birthdays around the holidays here, what's one more?! I think it's a great way to make it more concrete for kids. I always think about what it must have been like at the actual birth- how did Mary and Joseph feel having a first baby in such an unusual situation, what was it truly like in that stable, and were there any women around to help out during the birth and get her started nursing? And I do wonder why He would be put in a manger, instead of just snuggling with mom, esp. considering the circumstances!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *barcelona* 
Oh, and good things have happened with my career this week, so that is helpful and hopeful, especially as the strike looks like it will last so long, and my career will continue to be on hold. Ah, patience. And I will happily focus on motherhood and learning more in the domestic spheres of my life, while the strike keeps going on. And I will have to write on the side, too, which I'm doing, and am excited about.

*barcelona*- I'm glad you have this perspective on the situation! It must be hard since the strike situation is so open-ended, it's hard to plan for the future. I'm glad you have a little one to keep you focused and active and occupied! Enjoy this extra time with him and hope you get some good writing done!

*Helen*- so glad to hear the house is coming along! and yay about your new, big, comfortable couch! enjoy it!!

*Fern*







Hugs, mama!! I hope you can get enough rest, and the vitamins and other stuff help you feel better and knock out whatever infection might be there! sorry Ngaio is giving you a tough time right now- I am thinking of you with the birth-day approaching!

I was so excited to read about Aubrey's and Christa's babies! It sounds like both births were awesome!

Thanks again everyone for your support







I'm so glad I have you all. I am doing as well as can be expected, but what is hitting me now is that I'm left with a 3-months-pregnant body and postpartum hormones, and no baby to show for it







I feel really awful about myself and how I look. Part of it is the lack of routine around this holiday/birthday time- everything has been so off schedule- work, Ethan off of school, naps are off, all kinds of holiday treats hanging around and not enough physical activity are all combining to make me feel so yucky on top of dealing with the emotional aspects of the loss.

I think in the new year, when school, work, naps, and meals get back to normal, and my yoga classes start up again I'll start feeling better about life. I have some major goals and projects in the first few months of the year, so having that focus I think will really help, too.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Mary. I remember the day that I fastened my trousers after the twins were born was the worst day of my life. I just cried and cried and cried. It's tough, but we'll get you through it. Just come and vent when you need to, OK?

Fern, I'm glad you're doing better, and happy birthing day to you







and happy birthday to Elwynn! I can't believe he's 5- I know that makes sense, given that he was 2 when I "met" you, but it still feels strange somehow knowing that we've all grown 2 years older together. KWIM?

Amy







thanks! No, nothing left that needs to be done apart from parenting three kids, tidying the house, routine housework, maintenance and possibly redecorating our bedroom, and all of that can wait.


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Awaken* 
Thanks again everyone for your support







I'm so glad I have you all. I am doing as well as can be expected, but what is hitting me now is that I'm left with a 3-months-pregnant body and postpartum hormones, and no baby to show for it









I went through that too, with my miscarriage. My body didn't get the message that I wasn't pregnant for several months so it took a long time for the weight to come back off. The first few days were really hard, but I actually think the day that I really grieved the most was the EDD for that pregnancy (2/21/05 - I still remember!) when I didn't have my first "baby" and I wasn't yet pregnant with Brynn. It was really hard. I hope your new year projects help to keep you occupied and get you to feeling good again.









On a happier note, I just have to say that Brynn has been off-the-charts cuddly the past few days (for her, anyway) and it just makes my heart want to explode!!







Tonight we were sitting on the couch together and she was just snuggling on me and asking me to hold her tightly and telling me that I'm "special" and that she loves me soooo much! It was honestly like the best thing ever. I'm on an emotional high!


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Awww, Amy aren't cuddly little girls the *best*???

Our party went pretty well. Not as many people as I'd hoped, and most of them came at exactly the same time - I'd done a "show up anytime between 11 and 5" invitation and between 2 and 3:30 we had, like, 15 people in our house which was WAY too many and barely anyone for the rest of the time, but it was ok - although of course that was exactly when Rowan was asleep! She slept through all the noise and fuss, and woke up just after the huge crowd had left, when DH's cousin and her husband arrived. So she got to see them, which was nice, but she missed a couple of her little friends who came while she was asleep. Oh well, they enjoyed her toys at least!

Rowan got a Radio Flyer tricycle for Christmas, and a wooden toy train, and the set of blocks from my sister, plus assorted other sock-type things and some books and dvds. Altogether it wasn't as bad as I'd expected - everyone was mercifully restrained except for DH's grandma, who got her some sort of Dora playhouse thing that we haven't given to Rowan yet because it needs to be, er, assessed.

Anyway, we had a very nice Christmas, except I feel completely overstuffed - WAY too much food for the past 2 days. Tomorrow I'm going starch and sugar-free again, and it'll be almost a relief.

Off to finish the shortbread cookies...


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## 3for3hb (Jan 13, 2005)

:
Just checking in. We got back last night. Ugh. I'm still sick with this sinus infection.
I ranted and raved on the yahoo group about my Christmas. I'm so glad we'll be home next year.

Be catching up on posts here soon!!!


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## flyingspaghettimama (Dec 18, 2001)

Mamafern, have you told your MW how you're feeling with the head spinning and heartburn? Because those can also be PreE symptoms (when I had it, I thought I had the flu), so you should really talk to her. Have you had any weird eye or headache problems? Do you have any of the other signs (i.e. if you push your finger into your calf, is it leaving a big mark? Have you been gaining weight very, very rapidly?). Even though your BP has been the same, sometimes women just get a sort of PreE look about them from the water retention -- maybe she's worried about this?

On a totally different note, Spughy, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH THAT RADIO FLYER BIKE?!? We got one too, and we have no room.

It hurts and upsets me, because this year, I told grandma we did NOT want a bunch of random stuff. If she wanted to get us something, we gave her a highly specific list (hey, she asked) of what we needed to make our small house more livable (i.e. puzzle organizer for Emmett for his dozens of puzzles). Instead, we drove home with about $1600 worth of freakin' returns in our trunk. I mean, it's totally ridiculous. She goes nuts with the shopping, and then we spend the next week in the mall returning everything. We got so much stuff, it wouldn't all fit in the car (we had to leave the bike there).

I about wanted to cry when I saw the bike. When I told her our garage was overflowing and we didn't want any more big stuff, it's like she went and got the exact opposite. It's like using X-mas shopping to get in your emotional digs.

What would you guys do? We've tried suggesting other ways of celebrating xmas, but then she starts crying and insisting we're ruining xmas, and how this is an important family memory of a big pile of presents under the tree, etc. I wonder if it's not some sort of insecurity thing, a middle-class, we've got enough money to run the credit cards up to excessive levels sort of syndrome.

I think the only way to deal is to go away next year. Like, far, far away. Where tinsel is banned. They can join us if they like.

It's like eating an entire cake, instead of one slice. You just feel empty, no matter how full you're "supposed" to feel.

And along that line, I joined Weight Watchers online last week. Anyone want to join with me?


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Awww FSM.







I feel really disappointed in my family this year too, so all I can say is people are selfish, and they suck. Seriously.

I'm not going to join WW, but I'm on the chubby mama wagon! Fifteen pounds is my goal. Maybe I'll go add a ticker to my sig.


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## flyingspaghettimama (Dec 18, 2001)

Yeah, I'm trying to lose 15 lbs too. I like weight watchers because you can eat really whatever you want, there's a really easy point accounting system. so I'm not denying myself any one thing anymore, just keeping a more honest accounting of what i'm eating and when.


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## 3for3hb (Jan 13, 2005)

sorry all yahoo mamas... I'm cutting and pasting here because I don't feel like typing it all out again.

It's so nice to be home again. I had (and still have) a sinus infection the whole time we were gone. I think it has settled into my maxillary sinus (the cheekbone) because everytime I take a step I can feel it in my tooth. I really hope the tooth isn't involved because THAT would just be a huge hassle. I'm just starting to get my sense of taste back, but I still can't smell anything.
We stayed with Chris' gparents (his mom's side). They were really sweet but I am pretty sure they were ready for us to leave when we did.







They had an upstairs room for us, and though we were out of their way I'm sure us being there threw them for a bit of a loop (being old and set in their routines etc). I was really glad we went because now I can truly say (to everyone; the family out there, my parents, and anyone else telling us to come visit) that we are traveled out. I don't want to travel for a long time now. At least not before this babe is born and not for a while after.
Christmas day was "santa" galore. That's all that frickin' family can talk about!!! I finally made the comment that I thought it was ridiculous because is a lie and I'm not one that appreciates being lied to so why should I demonstrate to my children that sometimes it's okay. (the whole "be good for santa or you won't get any presents" theme). My mil sort of looked at me and was like, but it's tradition, and it's a legend. To which I replied, okay, then let's talk about the legend and the tradition... not the lie. Next year we'll be home so we can correct any misunderstandings on the whole Santa Claus/st. Nick theme.
Just about everything my kids got was plastic and required batteries. My SIL got them a melissa and doug ramp racer which is really nice. And of course, everything is MIC (sorry, Kavita, but the MIC thing has bugged me for far longer than it has been a bandwagon subject on MDC







).
My MIL's excuse was that she had already bought presents before we sent her our list (she always asks for one). Funny thing is, she asked for ours again because she lost it and "didn't know what to get them."

Sigh.

So our Christmas day was,
1)open a couple presents at the gp's house. Dh loved his new robe and felted mocs that I made him. Have early breakfast.
2)get dressed/ready and went to MIL's for brunch and gift exchanging with dh's brother (and SIL and nephew) and sister. FIL showed up for the whole of five minutes. MIL was upset that everyone kept "hanging out" in the rest of the house and not in the room she partially cleaned for "us." The rest of the house was, as usual, a clutter disaster. It takes all my wits to keep me (especially when I'm nesting ) from getting a box of contractor size garbage bags and filling them. Yeah, and try to keep the 2 two year olds and the 3 1/2 year old in one room for three hours! OH, and I got a few comments about how big I'm getting and how "is that all you do??? (get pregnant)"<Breathe, just breathe.>
3) drive over to the rich aunt's house to have hors d'oeuvre & drink for a few hours and then dinner and presents and pictures. Everyone had to ooo and ahh over what the interior designer had done in the past few months. <roll eyes>
Oh yeah, so when we got to the aunts' the first thing that met my ears was "what??? Are you pregnant AGAIN????? Then the aunts proceeded to apologetically pet my arm and call me crazy.







For having three.







<Just breathing is not working anymore.> Must duck and hide out with the kids. No one talked to me other than to say hi except my BIL here and there and my SIL (we always pair up at these family gatherings because they are a bit overwhelming) . Dh usually mingles and comes to check on me every so often but after the family pictures were taken, he got bombarded for adjustments. There was literally a line. I sat on the fireplace warming my butt, sipping my seltzer water with lime and after the second or third person I looked pleadingly in his direction. I was trying so hard to be calm and maintain my composure but my hormones were having a heyday in my head. He came over and I told him I needed to leave. I started getting a panic attack because I knew I was going to lose it in front of all these people. I tried to explain to him what was going on but ended up just having to get up and leave. A minute or two later he followed me out to the car and gave me the keys. My excuse (to the family) was that I wasn't feeling well and I needed to drive out to get better reception so I could call my family on my cell. I had my cry and then I was fine. The commercialism, the superficiality, all of it just did me in. They left us out of the polyanna this year, didn't ask for pics for the family calander, I could go on and on. It's like, we're only 4 1/2 hours away... no need to cut us off.







:The straw that broke the camel's back was seeing how dh was being treated. Not once in the 16ish months that we lived in that area did he get referrals for patients from any of his numerous family members... in either of the practices he worked in/ tried to start. They all treated him like some sub-par "couldn't make it into med school" drop out or something. He CHOSE chiropractic over med school. And has gotten treated like some misfit ever since. And yet, here they were, literally bombarding him to take care of them. It really pissed me off. None of them offered any sort of support or encouragement or anything when he lost his job, both times. None of them get "it" (meaning they are very medically minded and really don't care for themselves until something goes wrong). None of them supported us in any way... and the reason we'd moved there after school was to "be around family" and all that entails. Everyone kept making these comments about how we moved soooo far away or about pittsburgh (yeah, it's not as stuck up a region as philly but it's still a nice area) in general. And then the whole, you're pregnant and you really shouldn't be, what's your problem attitude. ugh.







:
All of it just got to me. I was thoroughly exhasted, from not sleeping, from being pg, from having this sinus infection, from traveling, from visiting... everything just came to a head. I spent about an hour and some change out in the car. My SIL came out and we had a good sister-sister talk. She hadn't realized how hard things have been for us, not just this year but basically always. I have more faith that this addition to our family is going to be easier than the the last two (transition wise). And I have more experience to draw on and have sought out my own support.
I had a bit of a pregnant rage/rant with her and she listened and hugged me and all was better because I felt validated and understood. By the time we went back in and had dinner, I was so light headed and exhausted. This trip did me in. I spent the rest of the evening darting around the mansion, hiding out in the playrooms and trying to rest and get away from the drunken noise. And my wasted MIL kept finding me, wanting to hug up on me and tell me how much she loved me/ us and then proceed to tell me (again) how miserable she was with dh's father and how she wanted him out etc etc etc. Fake tears. Ugh.

The good part of it all was the kids really did have fun seeing everyone, visiting and playing with their cousins. And Gabriel scored me some MAJOR "good mama" points. He is completely potty trained at this point. It just sort of happened on its own. I'm curious to see if it will last. The aunts were aghast when he went to the bathroom all by himself. They actually tried to block him from going in the bathroom and made him have a little drip accident because they didn't believe him when he said he wanted to use the potty. Apparently two year olds have no business in the bathroom, alone. (The one aunt has boys who potty trained at 4 and 3 1/2... the ones who would scream on the toilet for 45 minutes straight before they'd pop out a little turd and then freak about it.) Anyway, I so gloated when I just nonchalantly remarked, Yeah, um, if he SAYS he needs to use the potty, he NEEDS to use the potty, this with five adults staring in the bathroom as he struggled to get his pants down. They were incredulous. I finally had to tell them that he probably wasn't going to go if they kept staring.
And then later on when he went pooed in the potty! I gloated. Yes. I did. Because you all think I can't handle three???.... ugh.


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## 3for3hb (Jan 13, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flyingspaghettimama* 
it's like she went and got the exact opposite. It's like using X-mas shopping to get in your emotional digs.


I hear ya on this one!!!!!!!!







so true. my MIL to a "T."

then there is my mom who got us an acrylic blanket, and a bunch of kitchen towels in colors that are so far off anything in my house







Uh, thanks. Yes. Something "practical"








Oh, and shoes an entire size and a half too big for Willem, and one size larger than we had asked for/said he could use.

It's not being ungrateful, it's hard to be happy about stuff you can't use, doesn't match anything you have, or stuff you need to store for a year before you can use (but yet you don't have the space).

... And no gift reciepts so could at least use the money to get something you want/need.









I never thought I'd be the person to say it, but I'm so GLAD IT'S OVER!!!!!


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

monique, and FSM. Tonight I will thank all the gods/goddesses I can think of that my IL's and my mom and sisters are relatively sane. Well, they're not, actually, but they're not insane in any way that makes Christmas hard to deal with. It's actually a nice time that's all about family and not huge presents for us. My mom told me to find a nice little table and chair set for Rowan, from her (she'd reimburse me) and then a friend of mine managed to pick up 2 perfect little table/chair sets at the Salvation Army for, like, nothing, and she said I could have one. So I told my mom that lucky her, she found a perfect little table, and it was free! So Merry Christmas, and she was cool with that.







She sent DH some socks and a Canadian Tire gift card, and I got a Bay gift card, and that was that. My IL's ONLY got Rowan the trike (which is going to stay at their house, FSM - they have a big yard with a path that goes all the way around the house, and a large kitchen for when the weather's not nice - you are quite right in that it would be a stretch to fit it in our place!!!).

-- the child just got out of the bath, so I have to go lotion her up and put on her jammies.... I'll post more later.


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## flyingspaghettimama (Dec 18, 2001)

That's it -- who's in for a Christmas MDC trip to Vienna next year with us? Ha ha. Monique, that sounds like a horrible movie that you were trapped in. Did you ever see Home for the Holidays? Like that, but not funny. Especially the part about MIL crying about wanting to leave FIL. That's just not something you wanna hear.

Spughy, maybe I'll say it's a great bike for THEIR house. That will land me in the doghouse for a little while...but dude. It's the only way people will learn. It doesn't even fit him, being for ages 3 and up, and his short legs not reaching the pedals. It's like a big wheel trike (does anyone else remember those?). We figured out the tab, and they spent at least $300 on FSB alone. We spent $25

What's up with the yahoo group? I want in on that, so I can quit coming here. Let me know who to pay money to, or pledge allegiance to, or send my firstborn...wait, not that. I promise to be a nice member and participate and so on.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

FSM, come to us for Christmas and then go to Vienna for New Year







Or vice versa.

Monique, I'm sorry, I was in a bit of a funk yesterday so I couldn't respond to your posts, but big hugs. While I love the idea of having a big extended family, stories like that make me grateful for my own lot. I hope they sort themselves out soon.

Had a really bad day yesterday, bad enough that I actually voluntarily went to hospital for monitoring. BP ain't down yet, and the oedema isn't subsiding either, but I am weeing more, which is probably a good thing. Maybe I need to spend less time around the internet, I'm just back to struggling with the pregnancy = baby thing.


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## 3for3hb (Jan 13, 2005)

thanks mamas









On the Ikea note, I took some Christmas money we got and went out there yesterday... and finally, for the first time in my married life, we have a comforter and duvet!!! That WE picked out and that we love. AND it was on sale!!! It was so nice sleeping in a bed that wasn't an amalgamation of too small blankets spread out all over (which it seems to have become).The kids got another pots/pans set for their makeshift play kitchen as well (dh never finished making theirs... oh wait, he didn't actually *START*







).








So much for hating materialism









Now all we need are a few more baskets and canvas totes and we'll be set as far as getting the home organized and ready for baby. Then I can settle down and knit


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## Gunter (May 5, 2005)

WTF is up with all the holiday drama with our parents? We had total drama here, too. Starting with MIL manipulating her way into our house with nasty passive aggressive e-mails. Then, crying and more crying. Then, she doesn't take the hint so comes here on Sunday afternoon. We have a long talk with her which doesn't seem to sink in b/c she's dense. Then, we decide to open presents on Monday and she'll leave Monday afternoon. Let me back up to say that she has been upset to not have any money and wants to change jobs, etc, etc. So, even though DH is only working part-time and we've been living off our savings for 6 months...we give MIL some funds to help her get through and so we don't have to hear her sob story. But, really I feel like she is just irresponsible. Point in case is that she spent probably all of the money on frivolous gifts for us. She bought ez and i robes. She's never seen me wear a robe or want to wear a robe in the ten years that she has known me. Ez has robe like towels that we wrap her in. She also doesn't need a robe. Then, she gave buxton (babe in utero) a gift set consisting of a blanket, a hat and a toy in a basket! This may sound harsh, but this babe isn't even here earthside, yet! This babe doesn't' need christmas gifts from someone who bitches about not having enough money! I know she was trying to be kind but she is also being wasteful with her lack of resources, IMO. That gift basket costs $44 online! That's a lot of money for a) someone who doesn't have enough b) a babe that isn't going to use it, yet c) a frivolous items that we don't need. We still have unopened baby blankets from ezra! UGH!

Okay, I need to stop ranting even though I could keep on complaining about her. You all have heard enough and I know most of you can relate. It's just so annoying! Aren't they supposed to be the adults here?


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## HoneyTree (Apr 5, 2005)

I have to go back and catch up on five or so pages, but in the mean time, I wanted to check in and say hello.

We took down our holiday decorations today, mopped the floors with yummy lemon-oil vinegar water, put on the Old '97s and are presently playing with the Lincoln Logs. We're having a great time, so I'm putting off checking all the recall and danger lists. They were a gift from my mom ("They're wooden, and they've been around forever! You'll let him play with them, right?"







She tries, truly.) that I probably would not have bought myself, but there you go.

Man, do I love the winter break. I don't go back until January 8!


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## flyingspaghettimama (Dec 18, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *willemsmamma* 







So much for hating materialism









I think for me, it's really about hating waste. I hate wastefulness. I hate throwing stuff away that didn't need to be made in the first place, I dislike things cluttering up my house that I don't have room for. It's a waste of resources, time, and space to deal with it.

OK, I promise, I'm done too. I just wish there was a more constructive way to cope than venting. But she won't go for alternatives, so I really think we need to go away next year to tamp it down.


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## gingerstar (Jun 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
FSM, come to us for Christmas and then go to Vienna for New Year







Or vice versa.

Monique, I'm sorry, I was in a bit of a funk yesterday so I couldn't respond to your posts, but big hugs. While I love the idea of having a big extended family, stories like that make me grateful for my own lot. I hope they sort themselves out soon.

Had a really bad day yesterday, bad enough that I actually voluntarily went to hospital for monitoring. BP ain't down yet, and the oedema isn't subsiding either, but I am weeing more, which is probably a good thing. Maybe I need to spend less time around the internet, I'm just back to struggling with the pregnancy = baby thing.

{{{Helen}}}







thinking of you and sending you healthy vibes!


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## barcelona (May 1, 2006)

i can't complain too much about our christmas and wastefulness, except for my SIL, who showered finley with all of the exact things we said we did NOT want. ARgh! i cannot keep them here (plastic, movie-related crap, dvd's, etc), so maybe we'll let them stay at her house for when she takes care of him. don't know how well that'll go over...sigh.

but other than that, the other family members were pretty good about honoring our wishes and not being too wasteful.

but i wanted to jump on board with fsm and say that we really would love to go abroad for christmas and dream about it every year...and as soon as we can afford it, we're gonna do it. so maybe next year in vienna (and england to see helen) is a go!

so sorry that your families were so difficult, willemsmama and fsm and gunter! (and anyone else i'm forgetting).

we were especially blessed this year to be without family (except an evening visit from SIL), for the first time ever. that sounds awful, doesn't it? to be glad to be without family?...but you know how mine is. so it was such a joy and a relief to just be OURSELVES, to keep things simple and free of any guilt or tense vibes, to be joyful and peaceful and all those good things that the season is about.

going to play with finley, per his request!


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## barcelona (May 1, 2006)

http://web.mac.com/hillarybaack/iWeb/Finley/Home.html

and you can see our christmas pictures under "december", if you so desire. enjoy!


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

I'm with y'all on the holiday abroad! Maybe we can do what they do in the movie The Holiday and just swap houses, provided they are on different continents!









barcelona, no that doesn't sound terrible! I was really happy not to have anyone here, too.

HoneyTree, sounds lovely! I want to take our tree and decorations down this weekend too and just get life back to normal.

Helen







Sorry you are having problems. It's probably from all of that LAYING AROUND like a slug you are always doing! Ha!

Gunter, good lord - totally sounds like drama I used to have with my own mom. People are such freaks. You know what bugs me about it? Here we are, trying to be enlightened adults and loving parents, and yet OUR parents are all still stupid, selfish, irresponsible, and immature. What's up with that?

FSM, I am with you on the hating waste thing. I've gotten to wear I get so annoyed with all of the CRAP, because I am the one who has to choose between throwing it away, which seems like a really horrific waste of resources, or giving it to Goodwill or somesuch, and letting some other little kid play with crap. It's a no-win.

I can't find the post now, but whomever made the reference to Home for the Holidays -







That movie is so true. Especially when Holly Hunter looks at her dad (I think it is) and says, "Who _are_ these people? Where did I even come from??!" That's one of my favorite movie lines ever.


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## Kavita (Dec 7, 2004)

We, for one, had a great Judeo-Hindu Christmas!! I made a really lovely high tea on Christmas Eve just because we were all home (DH is off work, from the Friday before Xmas until Jan. 2!!! Woo hoo! with the slight exception of having to go in a few hours this am to do a few things.) And we spent the last few days, including Christmas, painting the house and letting (well, forcing







) Ella watch DVDs of Elmo and the Backyardigans and curious george. Our house (well, living room/dining room/hallway and soon to be the master bedroom) is now a lovely cream color with white trim--it's not a drastic change since it was plain white before, but it looks fresher since it's a new coat of paint (eggshell so it's more scrubbable/cleanable) and it's a warmer color than just the plain white. We have some more to do--I still have to get things cleaned up and back in order and then DH is also going to paint the trim, which we didn't do yet. But overall, the bulk of it is done. DH's boss's 14 y/o kid came over to entertain Ella for a while the day after xmas, so we could work in peace while she was playing out in the yard and riding her bike under supervision.

In other good news, we just joined a gym, that has a playroom/childcare!!! And Ella's regular babysitter works there, so I have the inside scoop on it and feel comfortable with leaving her there. And I think she will really enjoy it at this stage of her development and with her personality type--she is really very extremely sociable and extroverted, and so I think she'll really like having some other adults to talk to and play with and some other kids around too. Even six months ago, I wasn't quite sure about putting her in a group care type situation with adults who weren't special people in her life, but now I feel okay about doing that for a little while, especially because her own sitter who loves her and who she loves will be there probably most times that she goes. I am feeling like I need more time to do a few things by myself and not be running after a crazy toddler who is busy wreaking havoc and getting into everything all the time.

Also, the gym has a "jump start" program, where you get 3 hours of personal training for half-price for new members if you sign up when you join, so I signed up for that and will be taking advantage of that. My first appointment, for a consultation, is this Monday. I'm actually really excited about being able to work out regularly again, although nervous about the personal training more than anything!! I did join the health sciences gym downtown in the fall because it was cheap as a "dependent" since DH's work is somewhat affiliated with the University, and DH and I were trying to coordinate to have him watch her on his lunch hour while I worked out, but it just didn't give me enough time by the time I dropped her off, got to the gym, found a parking space (on the street downtown) put my crap away, worked out, and got my crap, and went to pick her up, found a parking spot, etc. I think this will be much prefereable.


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## Gunter (May 5, 2005)

barcelona- don't know if i have said this before but your family is gorgeous! everyone is totally beautiful! thanks for sharing the pics. we have a park like that here with a train ride that goes around it and a merry go round but i haven't been since last spring.


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

*Kavita*, I'm joining a gym too. We've been to the YMCA a few times with a guest pass, and I really like it. Brynn is definitely NOT wild about being left in the playroom, but I am going to try to slowly get her adjusted so that I can work out ~3 times a week. How lucky that Ella's babysitter works there, so she will have someone familiar when she visits! I had major anxiety about leaving Brynn in their playroom for a few days, but DH and talked about it and came to the conclusion that 3 hours a week won't hurt her, and might actually be good for her. I am *so* looking forward to being able to exercise regularly again and feel healthy. I have felt like such a slugh since she's been born. Don't like it.

*barcelona*, I just loved looking at your pictures as always! I get so caught up in everyone's blogs...I looked at yours, and then went to *Fern*'s, and then *Aubrey'*s, and a friend of mine...before you know it, an hour is gone! The digital age is truly awesome, I think, if for no other reason that being able to keep up with friends' and families' lives.









Besides reading blogs, I'm cleaning and de-cluttering today. The house has really gotten out of control over the past few weeks and I HATE clutter!! I spent an hour or so cleaning the kitchen and could honestly spend the whole day reorganizing in there. When we moved in, I just threw things in whatever cupboard was available, and I've been realizing how inefficient my use of space has been. I also need to do some reorganization in Brynn's room, get rid of or box up old toys, and figure out which of the new ones to keep out, and which new ones will go up in the closet for later. Then I have to tackle our office, which is a **disaster**. I can't keep anything organized, there are papers everywhere. UCH! It's a nightmare. Anyway, that's my exciting life right now!!









*Helen*, how are you feeilng today?

Hey, we haven't heard from *QoC* since the holiday, have we? I'm curious how her visit to the in-laws went. If she's posted on Yahoo, will y'all tell her to come check in with us?


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## barcelona (May 1, 2006)

helen and fern, i'm sorry i forgot to ask about y'all in the previous post...i'm sorry you are both not feeling the greatest, and i hope that you feel better soon.

i'm so excited for all the pregnant mamas, and so anxious to hear how everything unfolds in birthing.

i have been having baby cravings physically, but in my mind, i know i'm not ready/that this would not be a good time to get pregnant. ah, the battle 'tween body and mind...and i'm not sure where my heart works into that. but, before finley was conceived, DH and i had a very strong feeling of his presence, of his wanting to join him. it was so strong, we were in tears, and missing him (and we knew it was a boy). at that time, we "knew" and were saying we wouldn't have a baby for another two years or so....and we were just having a profound experience of our future child. (this all happened on christmas day...and DH even had an impulse to buy a little baby onesie for our future child. a crazy, irrational move, that seemed eery soon). less than two months later, i conceived finley, quite by surprise. so, i am hoping and trusting that when the next wee one is coming, i'll have that feeling again. i am trying to stay open to being able to feel him/her.

thanks for the compliments on my family photos, gunter and amy!
i love looking at everyone's blogs that i have, and am always blown away by how beautiful all of our children are. i love learning and reading and sharing in all of your lives. thank you for sharing!

SIL, MIL, and FIL gave DH and I the best christmas gift ever--a couples massage!!! DH has never had a massage in his life, and i've had two, a long time ago. we are going today, and needless to say, we are ecstatic! it is going to be so nice, and such a nice way to start the new year.

and amy, your day of decluttering sounds lovely! (seriously). i love decluttering and simplifying too, and this time of year always re-inspires me to get clarity and simplicity in my life.

oh, and kavita, your day of painting and celebrating sounds great. enjoy your time with DH! how wonderful.

honeytree, your cleaning always sounds like it smells so delicious. i have to try your concoctions some day!

off to shower!


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

Oh man I am sick sick sick. Bleh.

Good news is everyone is still in bed (except me, I woke up with a horrible coughing fit that wouldn't quit) so I am enjoying some quiet time. It's a rare moment so I'm trying to enjoy it.

Winter is starting to talk in full sentences and we are able to understand a good amount of what he says. It's really nice because I find he is less easily frustrated when his needs are being understood. The cutest things he's said lately are "Airplane in the sky!" and "It's raining outside." It just amazes me how these connections are made in his little head and come out of his mouth.

I need some tea.


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## Queen of Cups (Aug 29, 2003)

Thanks, Amy, for asking!

Our Christmas Eve/Christmas Day was wonderful! Great time at my parents, FABULOUS time at home just ourselves for Christmas morning, and then a pretty good time at the in-laws. There was one incident where I got annoyed, MIL didn't want Killy to open any presents until everyone was sitting in the living room to watch, and DH and his sister and BIL stood around in the kitchen chatting till I came and fussed at them to get in the living room so MIL would stop the torture of poor Killy - he just wanted to open the massive pile of presents! Anyway, DH always regressed to being a 15 year old kid who thinks everything revolves around him when he's at his parents house, so when I asked him to please help me with the kids at one point, he got all snotty and whined, "I've only gotten to open two presents, you know!" but when I pointed out I'd opened NO presents except for the ones Killy opened for me, he snapped out of it and started helping and then it was more enjoyable for everyone. I think DH did get a touch of food poisoning there, though - the in-laws laid out a yummy buffet for brunch/lunch, but that means the ham and sausage balls sat our for 4+ hours. Eek!

Finally, the big trip to see the extended family in TN and AL... didn't happen. Ellie came down with a stomach bug. We got about half an hour into the trip and turned back. She threw up about 15 times yesterday, then had diarrhea for a few hours. We were thinking rotovirus, but she seems just fine today so it had too short a duration to be that - thank goodness!

My house is a disaster area of new toys and gift bags and stuff, but its been so crazy since Christmas with the trip preparations and then the stomach bug clean up (amazing how much laundry can be created in 12 hours!), I'm thinking that tomorrow will be a big organize and clean up day. Then we're having a New Years Eve Party for our families. I don't know if the in-laws are going to come, and if they do I can guarantee they won't stay till midnight. But, it should be a fun night. Our basement has a huge rec room which we have divided into a theater area (complete with red curtains!) and a board game area in front of the fireplace on the other side. I think it'll be a lot of fun!

Count me in for a 15 lb weight loss goal. I was doing South Beach Diet right after Thanksgiving and lost 4 lbs, but then all the Christmas baking ruined me and I've put it all back on! Last year, my new years resolution was to exercise 1500 minutes/month and I've met that goal every month this year. This year my goal is going to be 2000 minutes/month until I hit my goal weight, and then I can drop back down to 1500. I'm guessing the biggest motivator will be to get to my goal weight in order to get those 500 minutes a month back for quilting! So, between my new exercise goal and doing South Beach again, I think I should be able to loose the weight in the first couple months of the year. Ever since I went back on hormonal birth control, though, I've had a terribly hard time loosing weight. Maybe its just a coincidence, but it sure sucks!


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

I'm glad you had a good Christmas, Jen - and it sounds like Ellie's stomach bug was maybe food poisoning too? It can take up to 72 hours to hit, especially I think in littles if their digestion isn't at full swing yet. I guess it doesn't matter, she's over it and fine, right? But I learned in my FoodSafe courses that there's no such thing as a 12-hour flu - any time you get a sudden onset course of just vomiting that passes quickly, it's food poisoning, there are no viruses that do that. And food poisoning will frequently hit just one or two people in a group, internal conditions have to be "right".

DH and Rowan have taken off for the day, so I have a day to myself! I'm going to take the dog for a nice long walk and then go to the gym, then pick up bits and pieces at the hardware store (oven light), sewing store (buttons for a sweater of Rowan's), etc. Just a nice puttery day. The weather here stinks though. Rowan and I got thoroughly soaked yesterday on a 20-minute walk with the dog. It hailed briefly too, and Rowan had to bury her little face in my sweater because it stung. Not nice. But, this is Victoria, so we will probably see snowdrops any day now







Yay spring! I've given up on snow.









Barcelona, that's weird about you sensing Finley's presence. I had a moment like that when I was pregnant with Rowan - I was driving and all of a sudden I felt like there was a baby in the back. It only lasted a second but it was very powerful.

DiD - I'm sorry you're sick. Bleh. I managed to escape a cold last week by massively overdosing with echinacea, but I don't want to think about what that did to my liver. It would have been better to just get sick, but I didn't think I could afford to! It's your body's way of saying "take a break, dude" so you should listen to it! I hope you get time to curl up on your couch in a fuzzy blanket with a nice hot cup of tea and your lovely family waits on you hand and foot. (mmm... is that wishing for too much?







)

Kavita, Amy, Jen - everyone else who's on the New Year's weight-reduction thing... I am so with you, and then some. I did the no starch or sugar thing at the beginning of December but I found it made my brain stop working, so I stopped. I regained 3 of the lbs I lost but that's ok. Apparently the dumbitude is a common side effect of dropping carbohydrates, but it's transient. So I'll give it a month, make lots of lists, and hope that it doesn't get too bad. I really feel good, physically, when I'm not eating starch and sugar, I really hope the brain effects ARE temporary.

The dog is looking at me. You know, that look. Gotta go.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

I'm doing better, thanks for asking. I think it's a combination of realising that I've spent 46 weeks out of 2007 pregnant, with nothing to show for it except swollen ankles and horrendous heartburn whenever I look at DH's favourite food, and having suddenly hit "very" pregnant. You know that state, right? Where awake and moving is too much trouble and all you really want to do is sit quietly until the sweet release of labour is over?
But freakily enough, I'm now 35 weeks and totally lacking in prodromal hell, so the universe is probably not going to be able to land me with more than, at most, 6 weeks. I can deal with that, right?
Barcelona, I had a moment like that with Alex- where I knew I needed to be pregnant, that being pregnant was the right thing and that there was a baby on the way- and then sort of again this time, when I hit my "pregnancy is a miracle" epiphany in the science museum. Not with the others. You might have to do this one the old-fashioned way








Jen, I'm glad that your Christmas went well. Enjoy the get-fit thing (same to you, Kavita and Amy...)
DiD, go get some sleep, and I hope you feel better soon.
Spughy, enjoy the peace and quiet








No Fern- does this mean babymoon?


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## MelW (Jan 13, 2005)

We had a lovely Christmas in a cabin on the coast with my MIL and BILs. The drama was only minor or at least nothing that made me crazy, the food was good, gifts were lovely, etc. And we got in several walks on the beach and despite really tempting fate nobody was shit on by any seagulls. And in a pinch a two year old can spend forever standing under seagulls and being entertained by their flight patterns









We did, however, go from being almost tv-free to totally addicted to christmas dvds in under a month. To the point that she said _in her sleep_ "I want to watch the grinch. I want the grinchy claus". So we came home and rearranged our office and living rooms to move the tv out of the living room and all of our book and cd shelves into our living space. We're officially no longer very childproof, but the tv is less of an attraction.

My next reorganization project is to tackle Neela's room, and really pare down the toy collection. I want to find some kind of basket/shelf system that she can find what she wants and someday put it back, too. Right now we have the massive toybox that she just dumps everything out of looking for a marker at the bottom.

Big hugs to all of the pregnant (or newly not pregnant?) mamas, and to everyone who is sick. I'm not on a weight loss campaign, but really want to keep running and stay fit in 08, so I'm in with the exercising mamas. I would love to be triathlon-ready by summer, but don't know if I can realistically get much swimming done.


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *spughy* 
DH and Rowan have taken off for the day, so I have a day to myself!

Jason took Brynn for the morning too, so I was able to clean without any disruption, AND I got to listen to my music really loud, which always makes me really happy. In fact, I realized about half-hour after they left that I was suddenly in a better mood than I've been in for over a week (maybe more) and I realized it was because I was cleaning!







How sick am I?!! And the bonus is that they had a wonderful time, too, and Jason is feeling really high about a good bonding day with Brynn. He's actually holding her while she naps because he doesn't want to put her down.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *spughy* 
I did the no starch or sugar thing at the beginning of December but I found it made my brain stop working, so I stopped.

I did that a few years ago, more for blood-sugar control than weight, and it made me *really* grouchy. I have no doubt I'm addicted to sugar, but I think I'm a bit too wimpy to actually deal with it.







: But honestly, I think it's a quality of life thing; if I can't have a little morsel of chocolate every day, or had to cut out carbs drastically? I think it would just consume my thoughts and wouldn't be worth whatever benefits might result. So I'm just going for moderation and exercise, and we'll see how it goes!

Helen, man I remember that feeling of "very" pregnant. Oh yes. Definitely take it easy, even if it is another 6 weeks. You can make it!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack*
No Fern- does this mean babymoon?

Oooh, wouldn't that be exciting?!









Quote:


Originally Posted by *Queen of Cups*
Our Christmas Eve/Christmas Day was wonderful! Great time at my parents, FABULOUS time at home just ourselves for Christmas morning, and then a pretty good time at the in-laws.

That is so great, Jen! I'm really glad. And even though I'm sure it was not fun to have a sick Ellie, it's kind of cool that you didn't have to travel to the in-laws.







I'm glad she's feeling better now and it wasn't rotavirus. Oh and as for the laundry thing - when Brynn and I had it simultaneously (at my in-laws last Thanksgiving) we soiled *every* sheet and towel in the house. It was non-stop laundry! One thing my S-MIL does is keep several of those plastic shower-curtain liners around for those episodes; you just lay it on the floor near where you are laying, and hurl on that. Much easier for clean-up.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *barcelona*
i have been having baby cravings physically, but in my mind, i know i'm not ready/that this would not be a good time to get pregnant. ah, the battle 'tween body and mind...and i'm not sure where my heart works into that. ... i am hoping and trusting that when the next wee one is coming, i'll have that feeling again. i am trying to stay open to being able to feel him/her.

I really relate to the spirituality of your feelings. One of the reasons I have always said that we aren't going to have another baby is because I have never felt another baby in my heart. I really do believe that if/when someone feels that, it is just like you said - your baby is ready to come and be with you. It gives me goosebumps just to think about it!!! I did have an episode last week that I finally confessed to Jason - I'd been having baby (including pregnancy) cravings for a few days. We talked about it though, and both agreed that having another baby while we are here (with no family close-by) would just be too damn hard and that if it is something we want to do, we'd have to change our plans majorly, sell the house, and move to Texas or Oregon. I seriously can't face THAT, so...no more baby cravings for me!







Although honestly, if it became intense, we would figure it out. Now it's just more of an inkling than a lust!

Oh - and a couples massage! How decadent! We had one on our honeymoon and it was sooo heavenly. Hot stones, scented oils...mmmm! Sign me up! Oh that reminds me - I am trying to hatch a secret plan for either Valentine's day or our anniversary (June 5th) to have MIL come up and stay with Brynn for the night so that Jason and I can go stay in a hotel! I'm sure my MIL will do it, so it looks like it is going to happen. Yay! It's months away, either way, but I am already getting excited about it.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *MelW*
I'm not on a weight loss campaign, but really want to keep running and stay fit in 08, so I'm in with the exercising mamas. I would love to be triathlon-ready by summer, but don't know if I can realistically get much swimming done.

Um, you rock. I am so envious of athletic women! (I am totally not.) Tell us if you do because I will so be cheering for you! I'm glad you had a nice holiday too.







Brynn was asking for the Grinch daily too (after seeing it ONCE!) but she's pretty much forgotten it now, thank God. TV is *so* addictive. I was telling Kavita yesterday that if we let her watch one show, she will ask for it for DAYS before she forgets about it again. So imagine how super happy I was that MIL sent Brynn two DVDs for Christmas, both of which with dinosaurs on the package. Thanks so much! Gah.

Wow, didn't realize I was so chatty! OK back to organizing.


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## MelW (Jan 13, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **Amy** 
Um, you rock. I am so envious of athletic women! (I am totally not.) Tell us if you do because I will so be cheering for you!

I'm flattered by the thought, but I'm hardly an athletic woman! I'm ssslow and short, but have decent endurance and enough stupid stubborness to slowly finish a short triathlon.

We're doing two year molars right now; Neela's trying to pacify herself by chewing on the laptop







: Didn't someone's kiddo ruin their keyboard with drool?


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## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

Quote:

No Fern- does this mean babymoon?
no it means im in massive pain from a toothache and im barely able to function.. but today is a bit better so im checking in.

glad you are feeling better helen. i was worried about you!
















to all of you who had rad christmas's..







to those who didnt. ours was ok.. nothing super exciting but it didnt leave a bad taste in my mouth. we were all pretty sick, so it was low key.

i cant really keep up here right now. i feel so lame.. its been one complaint after another, but seriously ive never been in more pain in my life, bar none.
i caved in and am on antibiotics, the last thing i want so close to baby having but i t had to be done.. so hopefully it will work and ill recover.

love to you all..and i will tell you when baby comes. dont worry!


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

I'm on antibiotics too, and I swear, the side effects are worse than the ailment. I wouldn't mind so much if my feet had deswelled even a tiny bit, but they're still hobbitlike and my BP is still high but now I have the yeastie beasties as well







Just sleep. Is the dentist going to pull the tooth for you?

I am so jealous of you triathlon running mamas, and the get fit crew. Can you try and stick to it until April when I can join in?


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## 3for3hb (Jan 13, 2005)

Helen and Fern!!!

I feel like I've been sicker this pg than ever before. As soon as I get over one illness, I have a week and some change before the next one hits. I'm still thoroughly exhausted from the sinus infection that is almost gone. I'm so glad it didn't involve my tooth. i actually spent a few hours with cotton balls soaked in oil of cajeput on my gums because of the throbbing and pain with any movement. Between that and the homeopathics, it seems to finally be clearing out.
I'm almost all caught up on posts here but just don't have the energy to respond.

Mel & Kavita... we're getting our worms for composting next week!!! We got a little Christmas money so we get to get things WE need/want. And it's about time we get an actual composting system in place (as opposed to just throwing scraps -food & lawn- on a pile in the backyard







:


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## Gunter (May 5, 2005)

monique- yay for composting! when we moved into our house, there was a huge existing compost pile. so, we're a bit spoiled by having that already in place. we've just been composting ever since.

check out my new sig, mamas! i finally made the leap and opened an etsy shop about a week ago. then, i paid for the MDC advertising for the next three months so i can give it a go. see how things work before this babe makes it's entrance. I haven't had any sales, yet but hopefully soon! maybe the week of the holidays wasn't the best time to get started. there is no way i can compete with established etsy sellers. some really fabulous stuff is out there!

tomorrow is dh's birthday! he'll be 31 on the 31st so it's his golden year. woo hoo! exciting to see what the year brings!

i had some serious BHX the other morning and later that night as i was trying to sleep. plus, some cramping. i am 31 weeks. it was kinda scary at the time but all is well now. i took rescue remedy, guzzled water and RRL tea then ate some toast and prayed for the babe to stay inside!


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## HoneyTree (Apr 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MelW* 
I'm slow and short, but have decent endurance and enough stupid stubbornness to slowly finish a short triathlon.

Mel, this made me smile! I feel much the same way, only I am horrible at riding bicycles, and so my stubbornness adds a few blocks to my evening walk to make it exactly 2 miles.









G, your jewelry is stunning! It's so bold! I especially love Green and Red Fertility and Amber Pregnancy. Gorgeous.

Do any of you read the _Utne Reader_ (besides Mary, who I _know_ does!)? I just finished reading an *amazing* article called "Love Your Fat Self," an excerpt from Courtney E. Martin's new book _Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters_. It was a revelation. I'm making photocopies to send to all the women in my life. Here's a quote where Martin is talking about our own inner voices of hate and fear, the almost unconscious judgments we make about those around us, and the out-loud comments that people have the audacity to make to us:

"It is a daily struggle not to listen to the voices--the furtive whispers, the outdated instincts--that try to slip under the radar. But it makes me feel more generous. It makes me feel less scrutinized myself. Sometimes I sit on a subway car and look at every woman purposefully and lovingly--as if she were my mother or my best friend. It is breathtaking how beautiful they all are when I see like this."

OK, I'm off for my walk in this nowhere-close-to-December heat and humidity. Will some of you northern gals send me some snowy thoughts?









ETA: Well, as soon as I had the boy strapped onto my back the torrents began. So we're waiting it out.

Fern and Helen, I'm so sorry about y'all being sick. I had to go on antibiotics for a UTI while pregnant with Woody, and I hated it. Fern, I don't know if this information will be helpful to you or not, but after I got my cavities filled in August, I switched to a Tom's of Maine natural, fluoride-free sensitivity toothpaste. So far I think it's helped some...


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 








I am so jealous of you triathlon running mamas, and the get fit crew. Can you try and stick to it until April when I can join in?

Don't worry Helen, I'll still be at it in April! (Albeit looking spiffier in my workout attire. I hope.







)

Teresa, I picked up the Utne Reader this month just for that article! It was great. (Although I subsequently became a bit peeved at the whole magazine because I read that "Portrait of the Artist as a Kindergartner" and laughed so hard I spilled tea all over the couch.) I actually do make a conscious effort to think more charitable, happy thoughts about people all over the place, if I catch myself subconsciously judging, and it does make a difference.

Helen, Fern and Monique - I hope you all feel better soon. I feel so lucky this fall to have only had one cold. Rowan is recovering from one, but I didn't get it, thanks I think to the massive overdoses of echinacea I took. I heartily recommend overdoses of echinacea. I think I was taking 5X2500 mg, three times a day. It did the trick. I don't want to know what it did to my liver though.

And speaking of unseasonalities (Teresa was in case this looks like a non sequitur) - it is COLD here today, my friends and I were slapped in the face with wet snow this morning on our weekly walk - but we saw snowdrops in bloom. I think they were kind of premature, hopelessly optimistic snowdrops, but, nevertheless, there they were. Which reminds me, it's time for the annual gloating phone call to my mom in the Yukon, where it was -24C this morning. Hee.

In other news, DH is applying for a job in New Mexico. Eeeek!


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HoneyTree* 
I just finished reading an *amazing* article called "Love Your Fat Self," an excerpt from Courtney E. Martin's new book _Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters_

That reminded me of a really awesome book I read called _101 Ways to Help Your Daughter Love Her Body_ by Brenda Lane Richardson. It is so eye-opening and insightful. I think about it a lot, actually, in just day-to-day interactions with Brynn. I would recommend it to anyone who has a daughter - and it's not just for moms, either; it has a section to be read by fathers, too, which is really on-point. It talks a lot about how a father's view of women has a huge impact on his daughter, down to what TV shows he watches, what comments he makes about other women, and how accepting he is of the mother's body and eating habits. Anyway, read it!!









Speaking of reading, I'm off to go start reading my how-to-knit book.


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## Queen of Cups (Aug 29, 2003)

I think I found the article ya'll are talking about, is this it?

http://www.utne.com/2008-01-01/Polit...-Fat-Self.aspx

Off to read it!


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Nice article- but I'm still waiting for someone to write something coherent about being a fat mother. My body rocks. It's conceived 10 children, carried three of them to term, fed all three and it has another one growing inside of it right now. Yeah, OK, I finally put some weight on this pregnancy (I put on a stone the same week that my ankles swelled. Coincidence?) which takes me off the scales. This'll change, if and when I want it to, because I have ultimate control over how much I eat, how much I exercise and therefore how big I am. My relationship with food, however, became a million times more energetically charged the day that I realised my third kid lacked a penis, because I can feel this very real societal pressure to not have a fat daughter, to say "no more cake" when she asks for a second slice, to make her be- what, exactly? This pressure isn't coming from the media, either, it's from thinking women who really should know better







:
She's still being unfooded, btw, and she's not overweight.


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
She's still being unfooded,

What does that mean?

I've had similar thoughts about how awesome my body is, Helen, and that I shouldn't feel too bad about the fact that I weight ~15 pounds more than I did before I got pregnant. I mean, shoot, 10 pouds of that is probably in my boobs!!









Gunter, congratulations on your etsy shop!! Your necklaces are all beautiful. I especially love the amber beads - so pretty! I'll send a few friends your way.

Spughy - New Mexico! Wow, that would be a change, wouldn't it? A cousin of mine is moving to Santa Fe at the end of January; which city would you be moving to? I seriously cannot picture you there, what with how much you love your life now. But I'm sure you would be happy there too, if that's where you all are meant to be.









Monique, we're composting too! I got DH a big ol' Rubbermade bin, and Kavita gifted us a bunch of worms, so we're got started this week. I'm excited about it!


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## Queen of Cups (Aug 29, 2003)

Gosh, weight is such a complicated issue, isn't it? My sister and I just cannot understand each other at all on this topic. We share so many of the same interests and opinions, but when it comes to weight we're at odds. I'm a size 4/6 always wanting to be smaller, she's a size 16 who's perfectly happy. I worry about her health, though, because she avoids exercise and vegetables like the plague, and she worries about me because I'm always concerned with loosing weight. Which of us is right? Are we both? She gets annoyed because she thinks I'm caving to societal pressure, but my point is always that at least I'm healthy! I eat great and workout 50+ minutes a day, every day. And, somehow her saying, "I like having really big boobs!" is a perfectly acceptable reason for her to maintain her weight, but me saying, "I like having a flat tummy!" is shallow and not a reason to maintain my weight, according to her. At the moment I'm certainly not going to waist away, at my lowest weight ever (in the throes of an eating disorder) I was 117 lbs, which at 5'4" is not drastically low on most people, but with my body type (very muscled) it was a size 2 at most. Right now I'm a good 20 lbs over that, and I'm not comfortable at this weight at all. I've gained between 5-10 lbs since starting back on birth control and its just been kicking my butt trying to loose it... but having kids has "cured" me of my eating disorder on some level. I can no longer just stop eating, I just can't handle it when I'm nursing - especially tandem nursing! I get light-headed and painfully hungry so quickly, and I have to be able to function and be clear-headed in order to take care of my kids. So, while the destructive thoughts are there, I finally have the ability to not act on them. But, I wish the thoughts would go away AND that I could loose 15 lbs instantly. Yep, I'm messed up.

On a happier note, we continue to have NO PUKIES here! Hallelujah! Tonight my in-laws are coming over for awhile and then going home, and then my parents and sister are coming over to party till Midnight. (my in-laws have decided they're too old to stay up that late or drive after dark) I'm excited, we'll be watching movies, playing board games, and eating munchies. I have a shrimp ring, I'm making whole wheat cheese ravioli from scratch, and I'm putting out all the Christmas candy in the hopes others will eat it all!







I'm hoping the kids will go to bed about their usual time, and then the adults can watch a movie rated over G. What's everyone else doing tonight?

Oh! I organized the playroom with DH last night. He said it felt like some kind of weird "Reverse Santa" to be boxing up old toys to throw out/ put in storage. But its so much nicer and organized and finally everything is out of boxes - which is key since both sets of grandparents are coming over today! Today I have to run a couple errands, and clean our bedrooms, but that's about it. Should be a fun, low-key day!

Sorry for the novel-length-post!


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## HoneyTree (Apr 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Queen of Cups* 
Gosh, weight is such a complicated issue, isn't it?...And, somehow her saying, "I like having really big boobs!" is a perfectly acceptable reason for her to maintain her weight, but me saying, "I like having a flat tummy!" is shallow and not a reason to maintain my weight, according to her.

I think this article resonated so strongly with me for the reason you mentioned above; it touched on the fact that judging based on anything physical is perpetuating the problem, just that fatness happens to be the current national obsession. It reminds me of the argument that sexism keeps both sexes down, oppressing women but also keeping men from realizing their own potentials as equal partners in full and meaningful relationships.

Flapjack and Amy, hell yea! I'll always join the cheering section for mama bodies. My mom and I were joking the other day about the lasting changes that aren't as visible and talked about as, say, stretch marks or a few extra pounds; our shared example was slightly more...uh...flexible [read flappy] labia! We talked about how those changes are what remind us of the awe-inspiring feats that our bodies accomplished.

And Woody's on a kind of praying mantis kick at the moment, so we spent the morning reading about them in our bug books. And, coincidentally, while thinking all these other thoughts, I read that the female praying mantis liquidates her own vital organs while producing her eggs to provide them the nourishment they need, and that she dies within hours or days of laying the eggs. And, bless these little scientist authors, that it is unfair to scorn the female praying mantis for eating her mate shortly after copulation since he is far better used for the perpetuation of the species as food for the babies he just made than as a potential mate for yet another praying mantis.

I'm digging the life cycle today.


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Yeah, the weight issue. Sigh.

I'm trying my damndest to make it all about feeling good. My motivation for losing weight isn't so much the way I look, although to be honest that's part of it. I am just so gosh darn CUTE when I am tiny. But it's more about being cheap (my fat clothes are wearing out, my thin clothes have some life in them, mostly because they're better quality because I was all rich and employed when I bought them), wanting my back to stop hurting, wanting to be able to do those fun upside-down pilates moves again (I just can't with the tummy flab in the way), wanting to be *happy* about it when Rowan wants to run to the grocery store, and wanting, above all, to be just physically STRONG. There is obviously a limit to how strong I can get, being only 5' tall, but being able to lift a 20kg bag of dog food on one shoulder and carry a child on the other hip would be good. Being able to chase a toddler to the grocery store while having another babe in arms would also be nice. Right now, that ain't happening.

QofC, that's a really interesting dichotomy with you and your sister, but both of you seem to be basing your weight/nutrition goals on what you *look* like, rather than how you feel or what you can do. My family is equally influential in how I feel about my body - my sisters don't have weight problems, and they don't really have weight issues, either - but both are very athletic and I guess part of what I see as optimal attitude/being for women are based on them. They just ENJOY doing things with their body so much, and frankly right now I just don't. One sister has done lots of wilderness guiding and sort of "extreme" sport-type things, and in a month is going off to sail from Mexico to Fiji, the other has a black belt in karate. (Neither of them is short like me though.) I wanna be like that... I'd take kick-ass athletic over thin any day, but I know that when I am fitter, I am thinner - my metabolism doesn't really let me hold on to fat when I develop more muscle.

(The problem is that my sisters have vastly different priorities in life. Neither wants children or aspires to the heights of domestic goddesshood that I do. And, I probably at some point have to concede that a domestic goddess is not a warrior goddess and thus does not need bulging muscles and the ability to rappel down a 200-ft cliff or hike 50km in 2 days.)

I think it is possible, though, to be healthy and fat. There is an undeniable genetic component to weight and there are some people, like a good friend of mine, who are probably always going to be fat no matter what they do, or, if they were to get slim, the sacrifices they'd have to make (like 2 hours at the gym every day, minimal food intake) wouldn't be worth it. I am fortunate that I *can* lose weight easily, but that's not the case for everyone. But even though she's probably 70 lbs heavier than me (and the same height), I wouldn't say my friend is less healthy. She eats the same kind of diet I do, with minimal sugar, lots of fruit and veg, and pastured meats & eggs. She walks a lot, goes to the gym when she can fit it in, sleeps well, and doesn't have any chronic health issues. So, who's to say she's not healthy? Epidemiological studies actually show that heavier people live longer than skinny ones.







. So, go figure.

It's a difficult area, to be sure. Helen, I don't know how cake fits into it. I don't like myself when I eat stuff like that *regularly*, because nutrition and good food and health are SO much a part of how I was raised and my interests today... but at the same time I get what you're saying, and I ALMOST agree with it... the only problem, I think, is that some people (um, like me) are more attracted, biologically, to white flour, sugar, HFCS, etc., and there are real behavioural changes in response. Those things aren't natural for our bodies to take in, and they trigger biological responses that make us want more... I hate to say it, but I think if cake is around a lot (which I don't think it is, at your house) the concept of unfooding could be akin, in kind if not in degree, to leaving packets of cigarettes around for the kids to use, or not, as they felt like. I just can't make myself believe that white flour, sugar, transfats, etc. are *benign*. KWIM? I've been brainwashed by the nutrition nazis over in Traditional Foods.







Pay no attention to me. I am rambling muchly. But I do like the idea generally of letting kids choose their own food. In our house that leads to massive cheese consumption though, and cheese is expensive here.


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## Queen of Cups (Aug 29, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *spughy* 
QofC, that's a really interesting dichotomy with you and your sister, but both of you seem to be basing your weight/nutrition goals on what you *look* like, rather than how you feel or what you can do.

Well, that was just an example of conversations we have - I don't ONLY exercise and watch what I eat because of wanting to have a flat tummy.







I've always been very active and athletic (thought I don't enjoy traditional sports). Hiking, walking, running, cycling, dance/aerobics, weightlifting are all things I do on a weekly basis (seriously!) - because I enjoy them. And several of those are fun to do with my kids, which is a bonus! I've also found that strenuous physical activity is something that really helps me avoid becoming depressed - its necessary for me to stay sane. I'm also kind of a nutrition nut/foodie, too, and that influences my eating habits. I just hope that my kids see all of those reasons and don't ever realize how I feel about food/weight/body image privately. And, I'm with you on the just not having the unhealthy stuff (white sugar/flour) around because I can't say no. I never have junk food in the house and try not to keep more than a few pieces of good dark chocolate around - but there's always some dark chocolate in the house! I go over to my parents' house, though, and its full to the brim of candy, cookies, and every type bread imaginable. And then I'm all annoyed - no wonder my dad was recently diagnosed with Type II diabetes! So, anyway, while I am overly concerned with how I look and want to move past that, that isn't my only focus for staying strong and healthy. Working out is one of the few times that I'm at peace with my body and enjoy it. That in itself is a motivation! When you've just run a few miles, how can you not love your body, you know? But the deal with my sister that I get annoyed about it is that with the fat-acceptance movement comes a backlash against thinner physiques - hence why for some people like my sister its fine to want to maintain an overweight/obese body because you want big womanly breasts, but its mocked if you want to maintain an "ideal" weight (according to BMI) in order to have a flat stomach. You see?

Another book that is awesome to read about body issue stuff is "Real Gorgeous" by Kaz Cooke. I think its geared toward teenagers, actually, but its a really great read and quite funny. I recently read "Look at my Ugly Face!" by Sara Halprin, and that was an excellent look at how we identify with beauty and/or ugliness and the power we derive from each, from a social/cultural standpoint.


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## HoneyTree (Apr 5, 2005)

So here's the thing. I've been home from school for the holiday and not traveling since Wednesday, December 26. I made it my mission to totally organize my life and clean my home and belongings. I lasted four days without throwing a fit at dh (for "thwarting" the goals that I had neglected to share with him by not washing his late-night dishes and by dragging the smelly dog blanket into the living room [out of the utility room] so the dogs would be warm). This is not very like me.

I don't know all that much about astrology, but I think my stars are in odds. Being on the cusp of Capricorn, I like order and plans and stability. Being on the far edge of Sagittarius, I like abandoning obligation and living in the moment, this moment, not the work-hard-now-play-later moment. Having a Taurus moon, I love, at my core, good food and being loved and hanging out together with my family.

And I don't know where this fits in my chart, but I am tortured by being tortured about this. Why I can't I just suck it up and clean? I know I'd feel more relaxed in a clean house. Or why can't I just live with my clutter? I enjoy a LOT of things more than organizing. Or why can't I embrace the ebb and flow, the back and forth of these two opposing processes?

I've been spending some time in the home management forum, and also the meal planning forum, and I think they both pushed me a little over the edge.

So today I'm futzing around on the computer, knitting, eating leftovers, sitting in the backyard, and not cleaning (much).

Off to spin some yarn now, my newest sensual pleasure.


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Queen of Cups* 
But the deal with my sister that I get annoyed about it is that with the fat-acceptance movement comes a backlash against thinner physiques - hence why for some people like my sister its fine to want to maintain an overweight/obese body because you want big womanly breasts, but its mocked if you want to maintain an "ideal" weight (according to BMI) in order to have a flat stomach. You see?

Oh, I totally see what you're saying. I guess I've missed a lot of the fat-acceptance stuff. I think it's the same thing, isn't it? The point to fat-acceptance should be that you can be healthy and beautiful at any size, or that beauty stems from health not size...? Not just to substitute one female appearance ideal with another one.

But I was thinking about this while I was walking the dog, and I think that unfortunately a lot of human behaviour is inescapable - and judgements based on appearance are inevitable in SOME way. The best we can hope for, maybe, is to teach our children to appreciate many different kinds of beauty, and teach them that just because we can't help doing it, doesn't make it particularly morally defensible. I don't know if this is making sense.

And I have to say, big womanly breasts are ENTIRELY overrated.







Anyone who wants mine can have 'em.

Teresa, I hear you. I long for tidyness, but something in me has issues with what's needed to get there.







Today I WILL however go through our bookshelf and reduce its contents by about half, one way or another!


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## MelW (Jan 13, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HoneyTree* 
And Woody's on a kind of praying mantis kick at the moment, so we spent the morning reading about them in our bug books. And, coincidentally, while thinking all these other thoughts, I read that the female praying mantis liquidates her own vital organs while producing her eggs to provide them the nourishment they need, and that she dies within hours or days of laying the eggs. And, bless these little scientist authors, that it is unfair to scorn the female praying mantis for eating her mate shortly after copulation since he is far better used for the perpetuation of the species as food for the babies he just made than as a potential mate for yet another praying mantis.

I'm digging the life cycle today.









Since I have nothing thoughtful to say about bodies and weight at the moment, I'll say thank you for sharing this. Neela's blog has a video of her reading the insect guide and finding the praying mantis, so my BIL sent a little plastic one for Christmas. But of course I only knew of the eating the mate, not nourishing the babies with her body. I shared the rest of the biological details with my family this morning









Yesterday my DH and MIL bought a bunch of new organizers and jars and totally made our kitchen clean, organized and functional. We also finished re-organizing the living room and Neela's room, and have improved the office, too. I'm ecstatic about my new user-friendly and on it's way to being decluttered house. I played reverse Santa, too; though Neela freaked out and thought she needed all of her 40ish stuffed animals (I swear they're reproducing when I'm not watching). She tried to sit on the pile I made to sort through and kept me away like an angry hen mother preventing me from stealing her chicks. We'll tackle that issue again later.

I have a trunkload of stuff to donate and am excited to start the new year with less junk and a more organized house. And I still have my MIL for a couple more days- while I work this evening she plans on washing my hand-washables (they've been in a basket awaiting my attention for over two weeks) and finishing the kitchen job by finding the mystery stink in my fridge/freezer. She confesses that cleaning gives her pleasure, and it gives me pleasure to live in a clean and tidy house. What a deal!

I'm off to work, and will get home *just* before the New Year. Happy New Year, everyone!


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *spughy* 
My motivation for losing weight isn't so much the way I look, although to be honest that's part of it. I am just so gosh darn CUTE when I am tiny. But it's more about being cheap (my fat clothes are wearing out, my thin clothes have some life in them, mostly because they're better quality because I was all rich and employed when I bought them), wanting my back to stop hurting, wanting to be able to do those fun upside-down pilates moves again (I just can't with the tummy flab in the way), wanting to be *happy* about it when Rowan wants to run to the grocery store, and wanting, above all, to be just physically STRONG.

I could have written that paragraph, and your subsequent post about big ol' enormous breasts. I am so over mine! I wear a 34F right now, but smoosh them into a DD on most days because that's the size of the majority of my bras. I so hope they go back down to a C after my nursing days are over.

Anyway, one of the things that motivates me in terms of the weight loss/fitness issue is that I am *very* envious of people who get a lot of joy out of their physical bodies. I see people who LOVE to run, or love to swim, or go to the gym, or whatever, and I am really sort-of in awe of those people. I don't like most sports (never have), but there are a couple of things that I do love: climbing, and volleyball. I got really good at climbing in college and grad school, and I felt *so* damn good about my body - not how I looked (though my arms were pretty ripped for a while) - but about how strong and awesome I was! I really miss that feeling. Since being pregnant with Brynn, it's like one body annoyance after another and I feel achy and slow and blahhhhhh most of the time. I just want to feel energetic and healthy, honestly; losing 15 pounds in the bargain will be a bonus. And I want to fit into my cute 4/6 clothes again!

Plus, Jason is like the model of perfect health: he has virtually no body fat, great muscle tone, and he really enjoys exercising and many sports. So I kind of feel this pressure to match him in that way. I never will, but I try.

Jen, I can't believe you get in ~an hour a day! Do you have fitness equipment at your house, or do videos in a secret child-proof room?


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## Queen of Cups (Aug 29, 2003)

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Did everyone have a fabulous evening? We did! It was just laid back and fun, and DH completely shocked me by secretly hooking up the television to the antenna on top of the house so we could watch the ball drop! I made him promise to disconnect it, though - I'm loving being tv free and don't want to be tempted.

Quote:


Originally Posted by **Amy** 
Jen, I can't believe you get in ~an hour a day! Do you have fitness equipment at your house, or do videos in a secret child-proof room?

I do have a super-secret room! Well, kind of.







One of the huge bonus points about this house is the extra room in the basement that is my sewing and exercise room. I have a gazelle (a really cheap elliptical type trainer), a step, some dumbells (I usually use 8 lbs ones for my regular workouts), and a ton of videos. But my favorite workouts are definitely ones outdoors - hiking, biking, walking, and I've most recently added running. I love my jogging stroller! I also have a baby-seat on the back of my bike. And we have Ergos for hiking, we start out with the kids walking and when they get too tired they get in the Ergos, usually after the first hour or two. So, I'd say I work out with Ellie in tow about 1/3 of the time, the rest either DH watches her or I work out after the kids are asleep at night (this is what happens a lot). I have two accounts at Netflix, one for movies and one for workout videos - I like trying new things often, it keeps me interested. Its definitely easier during the summer when I can do outdoorsy stuff every day, but boy do I appreciate the days that get up to 45 degrees or more now!

On a somewhat related note - today while running, I had tingling numbness in my right arm. To the point that I cut my workout short and came home and could hardly type "numbness in arm while running" into google. None of the hits seemed to apply, though - I wasn't dehydrated, I'm pretty sure I wasn't running with poor posture, I'd only been running about 10-15 minutes when it happened so it was a prolonged stress type thing... I have to admit I was a bit freaked (my MIL had a massive stroke when she was 50 so I'm extra paranoid about things like sudden numbness!) but felt kind of silly afterward for being so worried. Anyone have any idea what that was? I'm also going to post to the dingo thread in Fitness.


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## Gunter (May 5, 2005)

Happy New Year mamas!!!

I am way behind on reading posts. Having had an eating disorder most of my life, it's not so healthy for me when it comes to talks about weight gain/loss. I am glad everyone is seeking to be healthy though!

I want to make some goals for the year. Off the top of my head: Read 25 books, travel to south or central america to volunteer, gut our kitchen and put it back together and get hot tub working/fixed, get post partum doula certified, love my babes, go on more "dates" with hubs, learn more about eating local this spring/summer, then canning for next winter, promote my etsy shop and do a few craft shows. Anyone else want to share their ideas?


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Happy new year!

Here's the new thread.


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