# "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child"



## Happy Becky (Apr 1, 2004)

Has anybody read this book? My ds#2 will be 13 months old when my dc#3 is born (!) and I just cannot be getting up double time throughout the night with both of them. I'm a walking zombie as it is! This book was recommended by a friend of mine.

any ideas?


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## JenLiz (Sep 17, 2006)

he advocates cio starting at 4 months...and it's VERy hard to follow. he's got some interesting info and idea though, you just have to take what you want from the book and leave the rest. IMO.


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## BathrobeGoddess (Nov 19, 2001)

There is a lot in that book that made me cry...like how you should just leave your baby in their own vomit should they throw up from crying in their crib...


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## BethanyB (Nov 12, 2005)

Who wrote that book? I think it's the same one I was thinking about getting. Not now







: .


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## tigress (Nov 14, 2005)

he does say that closing the door and walking away is 'most effective', but also suggests a lot of solutions and provides info for co-sleepers. he certainly has a bias toward cio, but it is not hidden from the reader and i'll admit here that i read it fast and skimmed/skipped a lot of stuff, but i don't remember seeing anything about leaving a baby in his/her own vomit... if you can read it with a critical eye and get over the fact that he doesn't share your perspective, the book has a lot of information, some of which he cites and some of which he doesn't (where your critical eye comes in handy). it's worth the read if for anything, than to know what everyone is talking about. there are a lot of people who hate this book who haven't read it, but i personally have not yet found a book on sleep that i can get behind 100%--they all have good and bad/annoying stuff.


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## BamBam'sMom (Jun 4, 2005)

I read it when ds was a baby, and would not recommend it. I had checked out 4 or 5 books about sleep, and I started with the CIO ones. I remember that reading them gave me a knot in my stomach. They used so much fear that I felt like CIO was something I was eventually going to have to do. Weissbluth really made it sound like a child who isn't on a strict sleep schedule is being damaged. Once I got to the gentle books (Sears and NCSS) I felt that knot in my stomach begin to loosen. I felt 100% better when I stopped reading the books entirely.

I remember something in there about vomiting. I think he said to just go in, clean it up, and leave.

If I remember correctly, he wasn't overly critical of the family bed. He said that the only time it was okay to nurse a baby, on demand, through the night, was if you were doing unrestricted breastfeeding in the family bed. That's sad for the babies in cribs, though.

Wow, mama...13 months apart? I hope you find something that helps you get some rest.


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## L&IsMama (Jan 24, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BathrobeGoddess* 
There is a lot in that book that made me cry...like how you should just leave your baby in their own vomit should they throw up from crying in their crib...









: One day, he will be elderly, and unable to do things for himself. I pray he never has to experience what he advocates for infants.


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## clavicula (Apr 10, 2005)

that book is dangerous. avoid it.


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## Acugirl (Jan 1, 2003)

That was one of the worst books I have ever read in terms of making me feel bad. Maybe he has some ideas that work for someone, but there is a lot of bad stuff in there and he goes on and on about how you are basically damaging your child by not getting them enough sleep and they will have attention problems and learning problems and on and on.

I am not sure how to deal with a 13 month old and an infant, but I wouldn't reccomend that book at all!
Good luck!


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## runes (Aug 5, 2004)

although he has some good information in there about the physiology of sleep in infants (which made me realize when dd was younger that she needed more sleep!), the techniques highlighted in the book, imo, are not going to resonate in a household committed to attachment parenting.


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## mezzaluna (Jun 8, 2004)

i've only skimmed the book, but i've gotten useful ideas about typical sleep patterns for different ages, but i decide for myself how i'm going to help my children get that sleep!

i recently read _sleepless in america_ which also has a lot of basis in the biology of sleep, but is much more congruent with an AP philosophy! i'd start there instead!


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## wombatclay (Sep 4, 2005)

The NCSS (and the toddler version) has a lot of great info on sleep needs at different ages, sleep patterns, and the general science of sleep...and it DOESN'T advocate for CIO. So if you want a book that combines the medical/physiological sleep information with AP and gentle sleep options these books might be a better way to go...

hugs mama, I hope you find the sleep solutions that work for your growing family! I found that co-sleeping has been a lifesaver now that our newborn is here...big sister started sleeping through little sister's fussy times after 3-4 days, and I never have to get out of bed (I keep dipes, wipes, sippy, storybooks, and towels in the cosleeper so I can deal with a nightweaned 2yo and a nursing 1mo without leaving my "nest")!


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## North_Of_60 (May 30, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *clavicula* 
that book is dangerous. avoid it.

I'd use the "yeah that" smilie, but that book is nothing to smile about.


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## wannabe (Jul 4, 2005)

I find that's one of the books which really makes you feel like you're doing damage by not CIO, even if you don't want to or think it's torture. he gives lip service to gentle techniques. In addition, the poor editing makes it hard to just dip in and get bits of info. Ironically, Ferber has less brainwashing in his book.

The two books I'd recommend are Sleepless in America by Mary Sheedy Kurchinka and the No-cry Sleep solution by Elizabeth Pantley. Both of them have excellent background and facts on the physiology of sleep, but help you feel good about your parenting in addition to that.

PS: the bit about the vomit is in an appendix.


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## anneandoreo (Jan 13, 2007)

This book is by Dr. Weissbluth. Did someone answer that already? A friend of mine, also highly recommended this book. There is lots of info on the science of sleep, and the one tip from that book that I found helpful was babies' are usually happy for about 1-2 hrs and then they need a nap. That's about it. When I read one of the question/answer section, where the reader asked how long do you leave baby crying for if they don't fall asleep, it said one hour. As if exactly one hour is what babies want. And an hour??!! That would be seem like forever. That's when I picked up Dr. Sears' Baby Sleep book.
My friend's baby is turning 2 this August, and falls asleep in her crib by herself with a bottle and sleeps for 12 hrs. She did finally tell me that neither her nor her husband have ever been in the room when she fell asleep. She would always say before that baby would wake up as soon as they put her down. I asked if she would do anything differently second time (she's prego again) and said no as baby is happy. Now, she's totally stressed about moving her into a toddler bed. They have to take the pack n play everywhere they go. When they visited inlaws, she thought it was weird that her one yr old niece nursed till she fell asleep.
Although I'm jealous that her baby sleeps for that long through the night, I'm not envious that she can't sleep anywhere except for her own bed or pen. She's also very attached to her blankie. I guess this is another question. Do all kids get attached to an inanimate object like a blanket or stuffed animal, or usually just the CIO kids? Just curious.
I guess everyone does whatever works for them, but I think it's important to know the consequences.


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## anneandoreo (Jan 13, 2007)

I also have to add...
these are also the parents that say "your baby has to learn to sleep on her own." Well, yes, when she's ready. I'm not going to force it. I think it was in the Sears book where he says it's a milestone event, being able to sleep through the night and falling asleep on your own. Like toilet training...you wouldn't tie your baby to the toilet until he/she goes. So why would you leave baby in a crib alone to figure it out.
Anyone familiar with the Baby Whisperer? Not sure what that philosophy entails, but I have a friend who recommends that one as well.
Anne


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## yogagal (Mar 29, 2007)

Just echoing what others have said...

I have a friend who SWEARS by this book. She was a natural birther, so I thought I could trust her. I did read a lot of it (borrowed it from someone else), and it does have a few interesting thoughts about "awake times" and it did help me watch my baby better and know a little more what to expect when it was time for sleep. As others have said, he is VERY hardcore on the importance of sleep and suggests that your baby not sleeping enough is extremely damaging. I found him to be more accepting of the family bed and nursing to sleep, though. He notes that most of his suggestions apply to people who have crib sleepers. Also the book is organized in sort of a weird way--if you don't read it through or are just skimming, you might miss that some of his suggestions are sort of specialized--for babies who had colic, then other suggestions for those with different temperaments... The fact that he believes nursing to sleep is just fine (maybe early on--I'm not sure if he thinks its ok for older babies) and totally natural

He is pretty critical of Dr. Sears and "no cry" techniques, I thought overly so. In fact, he really simplified Dr. Sears' position, in my opinion.

I like the Pantley No Cry Sleep Solution better, and have high hopes for the new James McKenna book. Anyone picked that one up??

Overall, wouldn't recommend Weissbluth if you aren't into CIO. My friend who loved it so much for example, recently told me, after I complained about DS's sleep, "You need to put him in his room and shut the door and walk away, and this will end in less than ONE week, I promise you." My fault for complaining. I won't do that again!

Oh, one more thing, doing a search on the forum on Weissbluth or the book title brings up lots and lots of previous posts on this. I did this a month or two ago and got lots of good info.


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## bdavis337 (Jan 7, 2005)

Ohhh, I'm going to get flamed for this.

THis is the ONLY sleep concept that worked for either of my kids. The key is to realize that you're looking for sleep cues, so that when you lay the kid down, they're tired enough to get to sleep WITHOUT tons of crying. And that overtired kids need to go to bed earlier, not later. And that for some children, having a parent in the room just prevents them from falling asleep well.

I do agree, he does talk about letting them cry for a long period of time without parental intervention, which = CIO. There are some children who cannot get past that initial period of being so incredibly overtired that they just can't sleep no matter what mom or dad does to help them.

I do NOT use CIO with my children. I have NEVER let them lay for an hour and scream and cry. But if you come away with the concept of learning to see your child's sleep cues and how to respond to those most effectively, the book does have some good information. It also addresses the issue of too little sleep in children, and how that influences their daily behavior, which is also critical.


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## nichole (Feb 9, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wannabe* 

The two books I'd recommend are Sleepless in America by Mary Sheedy Kurchinka and the No-cry Sleep solution by Elizabeth Pantley. Both of them have excellent background and facts on the physiology of sleep, but help you feel good about your parenting in addition to that.

PS: the bit about the vomit is in an appendix.

those are very helpful and flexible books.

there were many nights where dh slept in one bed with ds1 and i slept with ds2. and there were nights that he was not there and i had to do all of it. basically when the baby was sleeping, i would nap while my preschooler watched tv or played quietly in a baby proof room. the good thing about having them so close is that eventually you can get them napping together after lunch.

eta i read No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers and liked it better than the original NCSS


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## momto l&a (Jul 31, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BathrobeGoddess* 
There is a lot in that book that made me cry...like how you should just leave your baby in their own vomit should they throw up from crying in their crib...

Hmm When he gets sick does HE sleep in it?


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## boogiemonster (Jan 7, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *anneandoreo* 
Anyone familiar with the Baby Whisperer? Not sure what that philosophy entails, but I have a friend who recommends that one as well.
Anne

I didn't like it. I found it hard to read, with lots of skipping ahead and back (not conducive with a sleep-deprived mama's compromised attention span). I also found that she was rather condescending, using the term "accidental parenting" and really faulting parents for doing anything other than what she preaches. While she says she doesn't endorse CIO, I watched her with a dad and his one-year-old daughter on TV, and there was plenty of crying there. Really, when all was said and done, it was just another book on getting your baby to go to sleep without you having to be involved. Not for me.


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## BethanyB (Nov 12, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bdavis337* 
The key is to realize that you're looking for sleep cues, so that when you lay the kid down, they're tired enough to get to sleep WITHOUT tons of crying. And that overtired kids need to go to bed earlier, not later. And that for some children, having a parent in the room just prevents them from falling asleep well.

No, I think what you are saying is valid, and that's the reason I was interested in this book (but not anymore







)-to help identify sleep cues before they get overtired. I had a hard couple of months with my 4 1/2 month old ds. He would get overtired and it would take forever to settle him down. Now I have figured out when he needs naps and he sometimes falls asleep totally on his own with no fussing-he just sucks his thumb and goes to sleep! And a few times I have walked out of the room-not when he has been really crying, but when he is restless and resisting sleep, and as soon as I left he crashed out! I have or would not ever let him CIO, but sometimes I think me being in there is almost a distraction for him.


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## leila1213 (Sep 15, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *anneandoreo* 
Anyone familiar with the Baby Whisperer? Not sure what that philosophy entails, but I have a friend who recommends that one as well.
Anne

I read a couple of chapters and it was total garbage so I gave it back to the owner (a neighbor). For me, it was more about the author bragging how much of an expert she is and helps so many poor clueless parents (of the rigid schedule & relaxed aimless types alike) than it was about any particularly helpful information. It had lots of little quizzes to find out which type of baby you have and which type of parent you are. Dumb, IMO.


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## mama sadie (Jun 1, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bdavis337* 
Ohhh, I'm going to get flamed for this.

THis is the ONLY sleep concept that worked for either of my kids. The key is to realize that you're looking for sleep cues, so that when you lay the kid down, they're tired enough to get to sleep WITHOUT tons of crying. And that overtired kids need to go to bed earlier, not later. And that for some children, having a parent in the room just prevents them from falling asleep well.
. . .
.

Caveat - I have not read this book, and am not flaming you! I just wanted to say that some of the positive things you have taken from this book sound very similar to those from NCSS. I have also found that heading for bed when DD is the "right amount of tired" as someone on MDC said, is key, and that sometimes, although I never CIO even for a minute, DD can settle herslef back to sleep without me going in to comfort her. In fact, sometimes when I go in it is too stimulating and she wants to wake up and play. I don't know what I would do without the video monitor. If she is stirring, fussing a tiny bit I can watch to see if she settles herself, if she starts crying for real I go in. Also an earlier bedtime and more naps during the day can, paradoxically, result in longer and better sleep at night. For example, think about those days BC (before child) being on vacation, sleeping in, taking a nap on the beach, going to bed early and sleeping "like a baby" all night long - although I now know that phrase is a joke - it helped me make sense of the bedtime/naptime/sleep length connection.


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## wannabe (Jul 4, 2005)

Not flamed, bdavis, but as they say about Ezzo, what's good isn't unique and what's unique isn't good. Any sleep book (including Sleepless in America and NCSS) will tell you to watch for overtiredness and that early bedtimes are worth experimenting with.

The baby whisperer sleep stuff is not totally horrendous, but it's not great and it's fairly formulaic - "do this and it will work, if it doesn't you're a bad parent". It's putting them to bed drowsy but awake and patting their back and shhhhhing until they fall asleep. It's worth a try, but not if it upsets your baby. It would work for some kids, and more power to them, I say. She does, however, specifically say to ignore them crying while you're patting them - something I couldn't bear to do.

basically, she's profoundly disparaging of any technique other than baby going from awake to asleep in their own sleep space. Family bed and any help for the baby is A Bad Thing. There's a fair bit of brainwashing to tell you not to dare even thinking about picking that tired baby up and putting them to the breast.

I think the bits about the different personality types are good, a lot of people need that info, but she doesn't really follow through with it.


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## Happy Becky (Apr 1, 2004)

Thanks all!! I was beginning to get the feeling that he condoned CIO so I thought I'd better check with all you MDC Mamas!! I think I will try it just to learn more about cues for tired children as some of you have mentioned as being good in this book. I remember when ds2 was born he would get so overtired and exhausted that he'd just scream and scream and scream. I think I finally realized that we were doing too much for such a little guy--I was used to my 2 year old. (Dumb Mom!) I don't want to make that mistake with dc3 and would like to try to help them develop healthy sleep patterns...without crying it out, of course!!


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## staceychev (Mar 5, 2005)

My stepmom pushed it into my hands when I had Lucy and I skimmed it. Frankly, wasn't crazy about it... guess it made me too uncomfortable. He did seem to be flexible, but still too CIO for me (I don't remember the vomit part... sure it was that book?) Anyway, the one thing I did take away from it is that kids need good solid sleep in order for their brains/development/learning to function well. That make sense. In how they get that good sleep, well, that's where I don't agree with him.


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