# Wwyd?



## grnbn76 (Mar 3, 2004)

The dressing girls thread got me thinking...
This happened about a month ago, and I've already done what I would do, so now I'm asking WWYD. I'll post later what I actually did.

Dh and I were driving out of base housing. For those of you who are familiar with base housing, not all the houses have large yards. In fact, in many of them, you can stand on the street and spit and see what it looks like when it hits the front door.
Okay, so we're driving out of base housing and there is a house very close to the street. In the front yard is a family around a wading pool.
The parents are sitting in lawn chairs dangling their feet in the pool.
A toddler girl...I'm thinking 2 or less...was playing in the pool. She was naked.
A larger girl...the size of my dd, so I would guesstimate 6 or 7 years old....was standing in the front yard. She was not in the pool, she was just standing there, as if she were just getting in or just getting out of the pool. She was also naked.
Like I said, she was very close to the street (we could see every definition of her body just driving by). This is in a neighborhood, so this family had houses on each side of them, as well as across the street. This neighborhood, while it is base housing, is not actually on base, so absolutely anyone could drive past this house at any time (it is not a gated or secure community).

So...WWYD?


----------



## chfriend (Aug 29, 2002)

I'd be happy that the family was having wonderful time together in the pool.


----------



## MamaBug (Jun 13, 2003)

I would probably do nothing. I would not let my kids ages 4 & 6 run naked ( not that they would want to anyway) but those are not my kids. So I would do nothing


----------



## khrisday (Mar 18, 2002)

I have to agree. Why should aything be "done" about a naked child playing. Hasn't that gone on since time immortal?


----------



## redhookmom (Aug 25, 2003)

No, I would not say or do anything unless I knew the person. I am just not that kind of person.

I was at the beach once and was changing my almost 3 year old out of his wet bathing suit into a dry shorts. He got away from me for a second. I quickly got him back and put his shorts on. Well, we attracted the attention from this very strange man. He came over to us and made me VERY uncomfortabel. He made a comment about my DS's penis.

Anyway, even though naked kids should not be an issue. There are just to many perverts out there and I would not want any of them getting any ideas about my kids.


----------



## mamaduck (Mar 6, 2002)

I would MYOB, and maybe feel glad that this child was still feeling so comfortable with herself and innocent.


----------



## Piglet68 (Apr 5, 2002)

Yeah, I have no problem with it. I wouldn't say a thing.

Perverts are Perverts and you don't need your child to be naked to get them going. I think trying to blame nakedness for that sort of attention is akin to blaming women for dressing a certain way to invite rape. If you watch your kids then you don't have to worry about it. A guy isn't going to fondle your child while you are sitting there with him/her.


----------



## mamaofthree (Jun 5, 2002)

My kids run around naked all the time, especially the 2 year old. Although, now my dd who is going to be 10 only goes nude in the back yard (Her choice). I see no problem with kids or adults being naked. We make it a big deal not them. I would just mind my own business, and probably not give it another thought, except that it would be nice to see more families sitting out together in the yard.









H


----------



## Greaseball (Feb 1, 2002)

I'd keep my eyes on the road.


----------



## wende (Oct 4, 2003)

They were well supervised. Their parents were there. I can't see every dimention of the cars driving on the road with me, no less the bodies of some naked kid. You'd have to have been staring, rather than driving. Good for those parents for not making their kids feel dirty about their bodies. I would have given them a big thumbs up and smile.


----------



## Mamid (Nov 7, 2002)

Where we go camping (when not pregnant) in August the owner of the ranch lets her kids run around naked and told me it was find if DS did too, just clean up any presents he left and not worry about any puddles (the land was so dry, any water was welcome). Me? I let DS run naked a few times. DP _had_ to put clothing on him. I didn't see a problem. He was covered from head to toe in sunscreen - including his dingle - so why not let him have the freedom?

Childhood and clothing optional resorts are the only places one can go naked in this society without fear of reprisals. Any other time, at the very least the genitals need to be covered.


----------



## Greaseball (Feb 1, 2002)

In my state, the law is that after age 8 the genitals must be covered. I don't see too many 6 and 7 year olds walking around in nothing but thong underwear, even though it's technically legal.


----------



## Irishmommy (Nov 19, 2001)

I wouldn't "do" anything, but I would consider it a bit odd at that age, in the front. But I'm also basing that on dd1 who is very private. Ask me again when my 3yo streaker is that age!


----------



## the sunshine (Jul 31, 2003)

So what did you do?


----------



## MamaBug (Jun 13, 2003)

I have been wondering the same thing! Me thinks it was not nothing :LOL


----------



## the sunshine (Jul 31, 2003)

Please don't tell us that you stopped and lectured them!


----------



## Greaseball (Feb 1, 2002)

Putting clothes on your child won't keep them safe from perverts.


----------



## Greaseball (Feb 1, 2002)

I wonder how? Aren't most of the victims wearing clothes at the time? Would any parent, upon knowing that some pedophile was checking out her kid, think to herself "Oh it's OK, she's wearing clothes"?

And you wouldn't be concerned about perverts eyeing the younger child?


----------



## mocha09 (Jul 6, 2003)

Disclaimer: I personally think that letting a 7 year old run around naked in your yard is FINE.

Re the pervert thing: Many child molesters/pedophiles seek out their victims ahead of time; identify a target, in a way. In this sense, the little girl has the potential of being noticed and saught out by some sick-o who knows where she lives.


----------



## Greaseball (Feb 1, 2002)

Quote:

Many child molesters/pedophiles seek out their victims ahead of time; identify a target, in a way. In this sense, the little girl has the potential of being noticed and saught out by some sick-o who knows where she lives.
I think it's because he knows where she lives, not just because she was naked. And I'm sure the younger girl would be equally likely to be a target.

I would be nervous about any car that slowed down when my children were playing in the front yard.


----------



## mocha09 (Jul 6, 2003)

I agree, Greaseball, on both points!


----------



## lauraess (Mar 8, 2002)

Im glad to know that people out there feel so inclined and free and are relaxing in this way together.








I REALLY want to know what you did! come on.... tell tell, we wont flame you or anything will we mamas???
laura


----------



## MamaBug (Jun 13, 2003)

I won't flame her I just want to know! :LOL

I agree with Mocha, that while I think in the privacy of my yard ( with a fence) I would not have a problem with my kids running naked, I think it is entirely wrong to teach your kids to be so open about their bodies and letting strangers see it, and when I mean strangers I mean anyone other then mom, dad and Dr. My ds knows that noone is to see him naked but those 3 ppl and maybe his brother at this point. That is just my personal opinion though, good for their mother if she feels free enough to do that, I myself want my kids to be more modest.


----------



## mamaofthree (Jun 5, 2002)

Intersting discussion going on here. I think, and what I have personally noticed with my own children, as they grow up they tend to become more modest on their own. My dd who will be 10 this JUly, maybe naked in the house or whatever, but she would not go nude in the yard anymore.

I also think it is kinda sad, in general, that we have to take away that naked freedom from our kids younger and younger. I mean are there really more prevs or are we just more aware because it is on the news now. It seems really sad that the question of the poster would even come up, like there would be something you would have to do as a by-stander.
If in your family you want your kids to always be clothed when outside then fine. But to judge others because they don't feel that same way is a bit much. (Not saying that has happened or anything, just saying how I feel).
I think instilling a pride in the body is a good thing, and to not have kids feel like they need to hide their nakedness is good. My kids are more than welcome to go nude if the wish (my 2 yro is almost always naked if we are home). But like I said, as they grow, I think they kinda choose to be more modest even without promting, I think it is just part of growing up.

H


----------



## MamaBug (Jun 13, 2003)

mamaofthree I agree that it is sad that I feel the need to keep my kids covered up, and honestly I didn't really even make them, it evolved into those kinds of conversations once ds got to a certain age and started asking for privacy , which he had heard me say. I do think pride in the body is a good thing, prevents eating disorders and all that, and it is a sad state of affairs, unfortunately that is the world we live in :sad


----------



## Corvus (Feb 13, 2003)

ITA with SoccerMom.

I will be teaching my child(ren) to have a positive body image, to NOT feel shame about her body, but to also be respectful of her own privacy. That is, being naked at home around parents and siblings is fine (until a certain age... ), but I don't think it's EVER appropriate to be naked around strangers, at ANY age. My daughter is 18 months old, and I have never felt comfortable changing her diaper in front of other people. I was ok about it when she was a newborn, but after that, I didn't like it. I'd rather change her diaper in my minivan than in a public bathroom (unless the changing table is in a private stall).

I think respecting oneself/having a sense of privacy with the body is important. I wouldn't walk around naked around strangers, so why would I subject my child to that? I would not be comfortable with strangers looking at my naked body, so why would I let strangers look at my child's naked body? I don't want ANYONE looking at my child naked, whether they be a pedophile or not. Just because my daughter is a very young child, doesn't mean her body doesn't deserve respect.

I respect you all for letting your kids be free and naked... but I just am not comfortable doing that around strangers.


----------



## Greaseball (Feb 1, 2002)

I don't change diapers in front of anyone, even female friends, not even when dd was a newborn. I didn't want to make her be naked in front of other people - if that's her choice, fine, but it shouldn't be up to me to make her be naked.

One of the reasons I pulled her out of the WIC program was their insistence that she be naked at every visit. They said she had to be naked and lying down, which she hated. I wrote them a letter that explained my reasons for taking her off the program, and said "How would you like it if you were undressed in front of a complete stranger and forced into a position you did not want to be in?" They didn't seem to get it.


----------



## mamaofthree (Jun 5, 2002)

I agree. I am not even the one to instigate nakedness, they just sorta end up that way (especially with their ages).
I was more commenting on how sad it is that we have this fear of nakedness due to, I think anyway, our society.
I don't go nude in public, mostly cuz it is against the law... the summers here are so hot, I think if I could get away with it, I would be at least topless for the summer! LOL. But that is my comfort level. Not everyone feels the same.

H


----------



## mamawanabe (Nov 12, 2002)

Some of my fondest childhood memories are swiming naked with a bunch of naked hippies (kids and adults) at a lake. We lived all normal, but my parents friends lived in a "community" in southern rural ohio. Visting there was the highlight of my summer when I was like 5-9 yrs. I'm sure some of the aduts were strangers to my parents.

Never equated respecting my body with covering it from strangers' gazes. It wasn't the defalt setting in my household.


----------



## *Erin* (Mar 18, 2002)

if that had been me, well, i wouldn't have interfered at all, seeing that the kids were well supervised and having fun, but i wouldnt let my kids be nude in the front yard. i don't believe in changing dipes in front of anyone either, i never diaper dd in front of anyone but my dh or my own mom. i don't have hang ups with nudity and sexuality, but i feel like corvus and greaseball. i'm not comfortable with my child being nude around anyone else, most esp. strangers.


----------



## MamaBug (Jun 13, 2003)

I am still really wanting to know what the OP ended up doing! ?? We promise we won't flame we just really want to know!:LOL


----------



## jeca (Sep 21, 2002)

Maybe she was only four and just large for her age at any rate, I wouldn't do anything,their in their yard.


----------



## mamaofthree (Jun 5, 2002)

mamawannabe: FUNNY! My folks also had hippy friends and when we went to their farm we where always naked swimming or playing. I think as us girls got older we became "weirded out" by the nakedness and just stopped. The adults always respected that.
I think people need to do what is at their comfort level, but at the same time, realize that not everyones comfort level is the same.

H


----------



## mamawanabe (Nov 12, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamaofthree*
mamawannabe: FUNNY! My folks also had hippy friends and when we went to their farm we where always naked swimming or playing. I think as us girls got older we became "weirded out" by the nakedness and just stopped. The adults always respected that.
I think people need to do what is at their comfort level, but at the same time, realize that not everyones comfort level is the same.

H

we moved away when I was nine, so my memories are untainted by jr. high fear of anything that doesn't happen on TV (and naked hippies don't happen on TV). But at like 12 or 13 I went fishing with my brother and dad and remember them peeing off the side of the canoe (and my dad calling it "taking a Mr. Whiz"), and that was scarring enough in the jr. high my-life-is-not-like-other-kids'-lives kinda way.

I held my baldder for 6 hours and never went fishing again . . .


----------



## hunnybumm (Nov 1, 2003)

I let my DS be naked around the house (he is only 6 months now) and I plan to contiune doing so. I will let him go naked inside, outside, where ever as long as he is comfortable. I change his diapers infront of whoever, I don't care and he doesn't care. He







to be naked! You take his diaper off and he just giggles and laughs. When he gets old enough to play outside if he wants to go naked, then by all means he can be naked. I would let him go naked around the house more but I get tired of cleaning up pee, so he goes naked on a towel.

But we are also moving to England soon so he will be spending about 3 years there and they aren't as caught up on nakedness as we are in the states, so I am really looking forward to that.

Go naked hippies!

I am also curious what the OP did... I don't see that there is much you can do really. I personaly would just smile and wave at the family as I was driving by.


----------



## LunaMom (Aug 8, 2002)

Interesting thread.

I agree that it is sad that we have to worry about our children's safety in this way, but sad or not, I would rather keep my child safe. Once DD was about 2 1/2 or so, I stopped changing her in public places (like out of a bathing suit at the pool) and so on. She is VERY comfortable with her body and loves to run around the house naked, dance in front of the mirror, tell us how she likes to "tickle" her private parts, etc. But she knows that her body is not for others to see or touch.

I also agree with the poster who said that pedophiles often target a particular child long before making a move, and I keep that fact in mind. I try to avoid anything that would "advertise" my child, within reason, of course, as I don't want to live in fear or restrict her enjoyment. So if we needed to stop into a store after going to the pool, I would have her put on her cover-up rather than walk into the store in her bathing suit. That sort of thing.

Funny to find this thread now, because yesterday I saw a young girl, pre-pubescent, maybe 10 or so, riding a scooter at the park in a rather skimpy bikini. Her parents were nowhere in sight - the kid was certainly old enough to be riding around a park without them following her - but there were a lot of groups of adult men sitting around on benches and I just felt she should have a t-shirt on. Not my kid, not my business, but it just made me think.

I think that most kids develop some modesty on their own, but if they do not, I don't think it is wrong to teach them to be a bit less "free" with their bodies. Modesty can be taught without instilling any sense of shame.


----------



## Greaseball (Feb 1, 2002)

Would any of us take the same precautions with a boy? Not let him wear swim trunks to the park, etc?


----------



## moondiapers (Apr 14, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Greaseball*
I don't change diapers in front of anyone, even female friends, not even when dd was a newborn. I didn't want to make her be naked in front of other people - if that's her choice, fine, but it shouldn't be up to me to make her be naked.

One of the reasons I pulled her out of the WIC program was their insistence that she be naked at every visit. They said she had to be naked and lying down, which she hated. I wrote them a letter that explained my reasons for taking her off the program, and said "How would you like it if you were undressed in front of a complete stranger and forced into a position you did not want to be in?" They didn't seem to get it.










It is ok to tell WIC no. They can't keep your benefits from you for not allowing them to poke at your naked kid.


----------



## Greaseball (Feb 1, 2002)

Quote:

It is ok to tell WIC no. They can't keep your benefits from you for not allowing them to poke at your naked kid.
Actually, the reason I pulled her out of the program was because that's what they did - told me I would lose benefits if I didn't do the exams their way. They would not accept notes from our doctor (who never makes her be naked, BTW) that she was thriving. So I figured we didn't need the food that badly, and since I was pregnant soon afterward I was able to go back on the program just for me and not have to bring dd to visits.

I suppose I could have fought this, but like I said, we didn't need the food that badly. It just helped. If they do the same thing with the new baby I'll drop out of the program again.


----------



## moondiapers (Apr 14, 2002)

Next time just ask them to show you where it's written? If they can't do that ask to speak to a higher up, that usually just shuts them up. They can't deny a child a benefit because of your medical beliefs. They harrassed me because I refused the finger pricks...and it really ticked them off that my midwife/homeopath filled out the paperwork for me. But you know what, the paperwork only indicated that it was to be filled out by a health proffessional.







And when they gave me a hard time I asked them to show me where it was written in their regulations, and they never could so...... I stayed on WIC till we didn't qualify income wise anymore.

-Heather


----------



## mthomas (Mar 20, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Greaseball*
Would any of us take the same precautions with a boy? Not let him wear swim trunks to the park, etc?

hmmmm...interesting curveball, greaseball. You jarred my brain to a standstill. All of a sudden I thought "no, prob not", but why? I suppose it's the same reason I don't have a prob thinking of my son to be a future sexual being (well, I know that we are sexual from birth, i just mean in sexually intimate situations w/a partner) but it doesnt sit well when I think of my DD the same. My intellect knows this is unfair and wrong, but it's one of those standards that society try hammers into us.


----------



## moondiapers (Apr 14, 2002)

I think a girl wearing a bikini is much different than a boy wearing swim shorts. For example, I wouldn't have a problem with my dd wearing a bikini top and shorts playing outside, but wearing both the bikini top and bottom is much more skimpy than a boy's swim trunks. I also wouldn't let my son run around in public in boys bikini swim bottoms. Too form fitting etc.

But when younger I think it's fine for them to run around the yard naked.







And they can run around inside naked as long as they want.

-Heather


----------



## Greaseball (Feb 1, 2002)

What about a bikini and one of those sarong covers?


----------



## HollyBearsMom (May 13, 2002)

We are in the throws of potty training so my son is often naked. Now that the weather has warmed up, FINALLY







, he is always running around naked outside. He likes to practice peeing on a tree







. I have never given it a second thought. Personally I am with the person who said "keep your eyes on the road".


----------



## mamawanabe (Nov 12, 2002)

Don't want to teach my daughters or sons that the responsibility of stopping other people's predatory thoughts/behavior lies in them covering thier body. And honestly, she is no safer in a pair of jeans than in a bathing suit. If someone gets off by watching my daughter ride a bike in a bathing suit, than the problem lies with him/her not with the bathing suit.

Molesters are not going to see a girl in a bathing suit as opposed to a pair of jeans and be so overcome with lust that they can't help themselves. I mean, wearing a pair of jeans is not going to make a difference in whether she is atatcked or not. Besides most molestations by a huge margin happen from inside the home - relatives and friends - not strangers. (Think of everyone you know personally who was molested as a child - now think of how many of them were molested by a stranger . . .)

Some people value "modesty" as defined by the cloaking the body, which is a fair enough thing to value. I do not value it, and if my kids decide to, that is something they will come to on thier own. So no, I won't make/encourage them to cover up.


----------



## Elana (May 18, 2004)

This is interesting.

Today I was at the beach with dd and her friend (she's 4, he's almost 4).

They both undressed right away, to put on their bathing suits. I was uncomfortable with them being naked in front of everyone else, and I just dressed them really quickly. I don't think my dd is *too* old for that, but it is starting to move in that direction.

We have 2 girls, no boys, so I think that I felt uncomfortable with dd seeing her friend naked, too, though it didn't seem to bother her...

I do think that some form of modesty should be taught, to each their own limits, but children who are old enough to be without adult supervision should also know what their body is about and adults should supervise what they wear.

OT: it's not only about clothing, it's about being aware, about not peeing in front of everybody, etc. There are many ads out there for children's clothing, who pose very young kids in "sexy" positions. That REALLY gets to me. Why can't kids just be kids? Our society is a bit wacko, isn't it?! (sorry, I'm rambling...)

Anyway, I wouldn't do anything, cause it's not my kid, nor my friends kid, just a stranger. If I did know the person, I would ask gently (maybe in a humerous way) about the issue.


----------



## CraftyMommaOf2 (Mar 23, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *moondiapers*
I think a girl wearing a bikini is much different than a boy wearing swim shorts. For example, I wouldn't have a problem with my dd wearing a bikini top and shorts playing outside, but wearing both the bikini top and bottom is much more skimpy than a boy's swim trunks. I also wouldn't let my son run around in public in boys bikini swim bottoms. Too form fitting etc.
-Heather

What she said








I let ds be naked whenever he wants, inside. If we had a privacy fence, then he could be naked outside in that fence. I couldn't care less what other ppl think about how I raise my child and how I choose to live. That said, I don't want strangers to be able to look at my ds's naked body. The naked body is such a beautiful and powerful thing. I don't think that power should be taken too lightly, KWIM? My poor dh had to come to grips with ds being naked all the time and with me being naked in front of him (when he's older) because they didn't do this in his family. I don't mean that I will walk around the house naked in front of him all the time, but I will not grab for a towel and slam the door if he happens to see me naked.
I'm rambling, I know








This is very interesting, tho. I am dying to know what the op did :LOL


----------



## Momma Aimee (Jul 8, 2003)

IMHO I'd be glad the girls were ok with their bodies -- that they were being taught to be ok with their bodies and GLAD they had an adult with them.

If they had been alone I'd have been very upset.

I hate the balance beam with have to walk with kids -- not to trust strangers, but not to make them totaly nervopus wercks about EVERYTHING.

Above 6 ot 7 I would not allow nudity -- we have to learn modsty at some point -- but I think kids need to know THEY are the one tha tis OK and the pervert is the onw that is wrong.

I hate to "punish" a child cause the adult might be wrong.

Aimee


----------



## Fleurette (Feb 28, 2003)

If you mean what would I have done seeing the situation you described? Nothing. If it were my children, however, they'd probably both have a swimsuit on.


----------



## muse (Apr 17, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hunnybumm*
But we are also moving to England soon so he will be spending about 3 years there and they aren't as caught up on nakedness as we are in the states, so I am really looking forward to that.

Are you kidding??? As an english woman in the Uk I can tell you us Brits have enormous hangups about bodies and nakedness...


----------

