# Mama's Without Kids ~NEW~ 2009 Thread



## BurtsGirl

The Mama's without Kids Tribe is a group of women who have found themselves at MDC for various reasons who do not and have no plans to have children. We're part of the MDC community, too, and have particular issues that have, in part, to do with carving out a place that's about mothering for women who don't think that they will mother.

Share with other women without children and who don't see them in the future. We discuss our lives, loves, careers, hobbies, partners, travels, and on goings. We also discuss issues and topics related to not having children and what impact that has on our lives.

Feel free to check out our 2008 thread here.

For those planning children or waiting to TTC there is a Not Mama's Yet tribe here.


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## BurtsGirl

For those that might be new maybe we can start by introducing ourselves again. If your comfortable share you situation on why you're not having or aren't planning to have children.

I'm Rachel and turned 30 a couple of weeks ago. I'm married to Terri, 34, and we have a beautiful good boy named Rascal. I work in marketing and Terri is a production manager at a small sign company.

We started TTC in 2007 and after much investment made the decision to stop and to move forward without children. It's been a difficult but very good decision for us. After that decision it left me in confusion as to how I would fit into this community. I decided to carve out a tribe for women like me and was surprised there were others. We've all shared so much in the last year and I hope we'll continue to grow, learn, and embrace each other as women as well as add some new tribe members.


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## jlutgendorf

Hi Rachel!







:

Thanks for starting a new thread! I'm Julia, married to Robert. We have 2 dogs, three cats, 2 birds and 8 guinea pigs. I'm a graphic designer and he's a photographer/web designer.

I'm in a different place than Rachel, in that I'm 100% undecided on whether I WANT kids. Robert has said he does, but I can't make up my mind. One moment I do, the next I see someone with their screaming toddler and I don't. I'd like to get to a point where I can say yes or no. But I'm not sure how to get there!









~Julia


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## BurtsGirl

Glad you made it over, Julia!









So what is everyone (<-- postive thinking) doing this weekend.

Tonight we are putting together the bottom part of the entertainment center DW is building. We should be able to take that part home tonight. SO excited! Tomorrow we're watching the nephew's basketball game and volunteering to plant some trees!







: Sunday we'll probably relax but might do a hike if the weather stays nice. Today it's supposed to get into the 60's!


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## jlutgendorf

No firm plans yet. We might go tour a house for my parents, but the owner hasn't gotten back to me yet. Parents live in AZ, and want to get a second house out here, so we've offered to check them out if they're not too far away. Other than that, the house is scary, so maybe we'll (finally) do some sort of cleaning.

Robert's back!







: he's tired, but he had an amazing time. it's really interesting, because his experience of the inauguration was really different from what they were showing on tv, mainly in regards to people's reaction to both Bushes. It seems like a bunch of people snuck in this huge colapsable sign, and when the Bushes and Cheneys were leaving on Marine 1, they put it together and pointed it at the helicopter, reading "Get the [email protected]#! out of Washington". Not the nicest of sentiments, but I can totally understand why people feel that way.

He also said that it was akin to a religious experience for many of the people there, people just overcome with joy, crying because they were so happy and so proud. My mom sent this to us in an email: "I just wanted to share, that just before Pres. Obama was sworn in, I had a flash from when I was a child watching (in black and white, natch) on TV the civil rights demonstrators in Alabama having the police turn fire hoses and dogs on them. It was vicious. There's no other way to describe it.

Several of us had chills as he took the oath of office. So much has happened in baby boomer lifetimes."

And Robert said they were showing those exact same clips on the jumbotrons, I guess doing a recap of the civil rights movement. He also said that the crowd just went insane any time the Obama girls were shown, all the flags went up waving, everyone cheering and clapping. In general, just happy excited mayhem. And apparently, everyone was in a good mood, polite to everyone else, no fights, etc.

We looked through some photos, but not all. He took 20 GIGS worth. We'll need to pare that down some!









oooo, and he got me an Obama shirt, with the logo done up in sparkly rhinestones! (I love sparkles







).

I'll def. post links to the pictures when we get them online.

~Julia


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## BurtsGirl

Julia, WOW! What an experience. I can't even imagine what the energy was there. And I had no doubt that he would fill up several memory cards, lol. All the photographer friends I have would do the same thing. Better to have too many than not enough, lol. Should be fun going through them with him. And I'm totally envious of the sparkly Obama shirt!

House hunting with someone elses money sounds like fun! I love shows like House Hunter and My First Place.


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## BurtsGirl

Just so I'm clear, *snicker*. I just saw your status on Facebook, Julia. And am I wrong in saying that NONE of us (me, you, or Grace) is the cook in the house? Our partners are the kick-butt chef's of the family? That's hilarous! If all of us ever get together (which I'm really hoping will happen one day) we're screwed! 1800-take-out please.


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## Scribe

Hey, I'm Grace! I'm a nearly-30 year old woman, partnered to a man, Mark. We're undecided about kids--Mark leans against, I lean towards. Strongly towards. So it's something that we talk about some and are sort of waiting on.

I currently work at a university but am changing jobs in two weeks to go back to my former career--technical writing.

Mark and I have two dogs and three cats, as well as a rotation of foster dogs. Currently, Mark is interviewing for post-docs and in a few months we'll be moving somewhere, but we don't know where yet, which stresses me out.

And I don't cook. Unless I have to. I'm trying, though!


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## jlutgendorf

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BurtsGirl* 
Just so I'm clear, *snicker*. I just saw your status on Facebook, Julia. And am I wrong in saying that NONE of us (me, you, or Grace) is the cook in the house? Our partners are the kick-butt chef's of the family? That's hilarous! If all of us ever get together (which I'm really hoping will happen one day) we're screwed! 1800-take-out please.

Yup, Robert's the main chef! I like to bake, but don't do it very often.

See, if we all get together, our partners can just send us with food! And we can all pretend we cooked.

~Julia


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## BurtsGirl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jlutgendorf* 
Yup, Robert's the main chef! I like to bake, but don't do it very often.

See, if we all get together, our partners can just send us with food! And we can all pretend we cooked.

~Julia









laughup







:

OMG, that was hilarious! I also love baking but don't do it much because of the waist line.







Also, I totally forgot you had 8 guinea pigs. How does one acquire 8 guinea pigs? Do they have names?

You know we could use a neuroscience guy in SC! *hint-hint, poke, giggle*


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## Scribe

Hehe. I wish.

Right now, it's between Virginia (outside D.C.) and the East Bay.


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## BurtsGirl

East Bay? Is that the one in CA? If so my vote is for the East Coast! DC is drivable for Julia and I and we can meet in the middle. So I think you and Mark should plan your move, careers and life around us being able to hang out, drink wine (beer for Julia), and giggle like school girls once a year or so. You good with that, Julia?


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## jlutgendorf

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BurtsGirl* 
East Bay? Is that the one in CA? If so my vote is for the East Coast! DC is drivable for Julia and I and we can meet in the middle. So I think you and Mark should plan your move, careers and life around us being able to hang out, drink wine (beer for Julia), and giggle like school girls once a year or so. You good with that, Julia?

I am totes good with that. Doooooooo iiiiiittt.

And you get 8 guinea pigs by starting out with 2. Then you suddenly have a lot more. Then when a pair of boys break into the girls sections, you have A LOT more. I think at our height, we had almost 20. which is a lot. Our current ones (in order of age) are: Arizona, Tigger Yum Yum, Flower, Brillo's Baby, Pepe Lopez, Dobie Jr., Chub Tub, and Little Bit. (we like weird names).


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## BurtsGirl

LMAO! I







: the names! Especially Pepe Lopez and Chub Tub! Ok, too many exclamation marks...sorry.









So it's all decided and Julia and I approve the DC move. Whew. Now that that's done we can create world peace.
Seriously, which place would _you_ prefer to live, Grace?

Man, I'm in a good mood today.


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## jlutgendorf

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BurtsGirl* 
LMAO! I







: the names! Especially Pepe Lopez and Chub Tub! Ok, too many exclamation marks...sorry.









So it's all decided and Julia and I approve the DC move. Whew. Now that that's done we can create world peace.
Seriously, which place would _you_ prefer to live, Grace?

Man, I'm in a good mood today.

Pepe Lopez is actually named after a bottle of Tequila.







Chub Tub was a slip of the tongue when Robert got Photobucket and SmugMug confused with each other. It was hilarious (to me).

We also had a foster stray cat named Chalupa and a rabbit named Gordita. Yes, we are weird.

Yeah, where would you like best, Grace?

~Julia


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## Scribe

Berkeley. But it's complicated. The offer in Virginia is probably a better one. We'll see.


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## BurtsGirl

Julia, you are seriously cracking me the [email protected] up! I'm sure someone is going to walk past my cube and ask why I'm giggling so much.

Grace, I hope where ever you move you'll be happy and so will Mark. (although I am still placing my vote on DC for purely selfish reasons.)







When do you think you guys will be making the final decision?


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## Scribe

Should just be a few weeks. Mark goes to England next week for his last interview. When he gets back, we should have all the information we need to decide.


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## BurtsGirl

How was everyone's weekend?

We mostly just hung out at home which was nice. Sat we skipped the game and went to do the volunteer work but when we got to the meeting location no one was there. We were majorly bummed about that. I'm going to email the org to see what happened. Maybe we missed something. Sunday we cooked, played video games and I did some reading. I gotta tell you I just love the magazine Natural Health. I read the whole issue yesterday.


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## wannabemoms

Hey, I finally made it over here...









Intro, intro, let's see...

I'm Crystal and I'm a 29-year-old gal married to my 39-year-old wife, who has been my partner for over 7 years. In the summer of '07 we got this crazy notion about having kids. We supplemented, charted, tested, doctor-ed, and called it quits a year later. We are on the road to a child-free life, which I am fine with 90% of the time and really angry about 10% of the time (which is probably better than it was 6 months ago, so I guess I'm making progress).

We live in an old continually-being-renovated-schoolhouse in the country, surrounded by hayfield and woodlots. We are grossly outnumbered by our 2 cats and 3 dogs, who somehow always get away with claiming the couch. I'm an ecologist by training, am currently trapped in a cubicle administering federal grants to people doing the type of research I WANT to do, and am plotting my eventual escape back to grad school to do my PhD.

Lately I have been a largely absentee contributor to this lovely group of women who I adore, because I am in a big snit/mood/bummer/somethingorother and I tend to withdraw from people I care about when I'm like that (sorry girls!
















Quote:


Originally Posted by *BurtsGirl* 
Just so I'm clear, *snicker*. I just saw your status on Facebook, Julia. And am I wrong in saying that NONE of us (me, you, or Grace) is the cook in the house? Our partners are the kick-butt chef's of the family? That's hilarous! If all of us ever get together (which I'm really hoping will happen one day) we're screwed! 1800-take-out please.


Hey! I'll have you know I cook! I made lasagna and chili and stew and an oven roast this weekend, and un-cooked for the dogs, too!!


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## Scribe

We made more house progress this weekend! Our living room is now awesome. We moved a bunch of bookshelves around and edited tchotkes and everything is dust-able now. Yay! We also watched a movie and went out to breakfast and just hung out. It was good. And I went thrifting and only spent $2, which is like the least amount ever.

I'm stressed, though. I want us to make a decision as to where we're going to move so that worrying can becoming planning.


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## jlutgendorf

Ok, see that's our plan. Crystal will just have to cook for all of us!

Weekend was ok. We did end up going out near Athens to look at a house for my parents. It was nice, had lots of room, but needed some updating inside.

Otherwise we were pretty lazy. Didn't work on the house (can you see that's a theme in my life). Started going through inauguration photos, so hopefully those will be ready soon!

~Julia


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## BurtsGirl

Crystal, I'd love to see some pictures of your awesome old schoolhouse-house, if you don't mind someday. I bet it's neat living there. Also you are totally voted in for cooking for us! I agree with Julia! And we







you and hope you'll take the time you need to get over this bump and be back to us good as new or better, until then we're thinking about you!

Grace, That's awesome that you guys got some things accomplished around the house. How are your allergies today? Any better? I soooo know that feeling of waiting to plan. It's the worst stuck, stagnant feeling! YAY for the 2 buck shopping spree!

Julia, I do love how your mind works,







. Sounds like your weekend was as productive as mine.

We did get the bottom of the entertainment center finished and in the house. When I went over to Terri's work (where she's been making it) to help put it together and saw the top for the first time I started to cry. I'm NOT a crier but it was that beautiful. I was just so proud of her and her work was just awesome. I'm not posting any pics until the back part is finished which should be next week but the bottom looks awesome in our living room.

We spent Friday night hooking up the new surround sound system. Man, these things just keep getting more and more complicated. We had Terri's OLD (circa 1989) stereo that was three feet tall and each was a seperate unit. Floor length wood laminated giant speakers. It was time for an ungrade. Now everything is in one tiny unit but much more complicated. The speakers are also so small! We eventually got it working and are getting the hang of the three remote system we've got now.


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## Scribe

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BurtsGirl* 
We spent Friday night hooking up the new surround sound system. Man, these things just keep getting more and more complicated. We had Terri's OLD (circa 1989) stereo that was three feet tall and each was a seperate unit. Floor length wood laminated giant speakers. It was time for an ungrade. Now everything is in one tiny unit but much more complicated. The speakers are also so small! We eventually got it working and are getting the hang of the three remote system we've got now.

We've been doing that too! Mark got a new receiver for Christmas from his parents (his old one was nearly as old as Terri's) and he rewired everything. It is complicated, but it sounds great. We also got a new cabinet to put it all in. This one. In the black/brown, though, not the white that is shown.


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## BurtsGirl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *avengingophelia* 
We also got a new cabinet to put it all in. This one. In the black/brown, though, not the white that is shown.

Oooooo, ahhhhhh! That's pretty!


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## Scribe

Yeah, it's nice. And it was inexpensive. We also moved three bookcases out of our living room, so we have much less furniture now and it looks better and feels more open.


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## jlutgendorf

mmmmm ikea&#8230;

I'm excited to see what Terri has been building! Robert builds us some stuff, but he's just been learning about woodworking the past two years or so. Probably the coolest thing he's built us has been a shelt that runs around up high in our living/everything room. We have to put up just one more section though.

I'd also love to see school house photos. Sounds neat.

So, here's something I've been thinking about for a while now. I've realized that I've felt pretty directionless in life for some time now. And it's corresponded (but not neccesarily due to) me sort of "loosing" two people that I considered as mentors. I guess I have this desire to have someone in my life that's wiser, more experienced, balanced, etc. It's like I don't have something to focus me, to clarify my thinking and planning.

But then, I'm thinking, why can't I do these things for myself? And I don't feel personally that Robert would be appropriate (as a mentor/mentee relationship is unbalanced power-wise, plus I know he's got stuff to learn as well!







). I'm kind of stuck with the idea of finding a therapist again and paying for my mentoring







.

I guess there's no real question there, just ramblings. And I'd like to hear people's thoughts on what i've blah blah blahed about.

Re-reading that, I don't know if I've explained myself very well. hmm.


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## BurtsGirl

*raising hand*
Hi my name is Rachel and I've never been to an Ikea. Although they are opening a new one in Charlotte so I might be going at some point to check it out. I know they have one in Atl also but the only thing in Atl worth a trip is gay pride and to hang out with Julia someday.

Julia, I here you. My boss (and mentor) died in 2007. I'm still not over that loss. I see him everywhere around my workplace. I'm also not a self-motivator when it comes to some things so motivation is lacking in a big way. Deadlines help though but it's rare I have a deadline for anything. I got no advice, not that you asked for any, but I do hear you.

Grace, since your ms. super crafty bath-lady I have a question I hope you can help answer. You know those candles you can light and when it melts you can pour it onto your partner (without too much pain) and it turns into massage oil? I would love to make some of those, have you any ideas, tips, recipes, etc along this line?


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## wannabemoms

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jlutgendorf* 

I'd also love to see school house photos. Sounds neat.

So, here's something I've been thinking about for a while now. I've realized that I've felt pretty directionless in life for some time now. And it's corresponded (but not neccesarily due to) me sort of "loosing" two people that I considered as mentors. I guess I have this desire to have someone in my life that's wiser, more experienced, balanced, etc. It's like I don't have something to focus me, to clarify my thinking and planning.

But then, I'm thinking, why can't I do these things for myself? And I don't feel personally that Robert would be appropriate (as a mentor/mentee relationship is unbalanced power-wise, plus I know he's got stuff to learn as well!







). I'm kind of stuck with the idea of finding a therapist again and paying for my mentoring







.

I guess there's no real question there, just ramblings. And I'd like to hear people's thoughts on what i've blah blah blahed about.

Re-reading that, I don't know if I've explained myself very well. hmm.

I can TOTALLY relate. I'm a pretty confident person, but I thrive when there's an experienced and steady hand providing guidance, support, and kudos. Dunno why. Yeah, it's obnoxious too sometimes.


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## Scribe

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BurtsGirl* 
Grace, since your ms. super crafty bath-lady I have a question I hope you can help answer. You know those candles you can light and when it melts you can pour it onto your partner (without too much pain) and it turns into massage oil? I would love to make some of those, have you any ideas, tips, recipes, etc along this line?

Yep, you can do that fairly easily. There is actually a tutorial here that makes sense.

Oooh, I should offer some of those up in the craft swap for V-day...


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## BurtsGirl

I'd knew you'd know about it! I'm looking at some stuff for our anniversary trip in March.







It says liquid vegetable oil, do you have a preference in this category? They mention almond oil. Can you buy that at the grocery store?


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## Scribe

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BurtsGirl* 
I'd knew you'd know about it! I'm looking at some stuff for our anniversary trip in March.







It says liquid vegetable oil, do you have a preference in this category? They mention almond oil. Can you buy that at the grocery store?

I would use almond oil, or possibly coconut oil (which isn't liquid at room temp, but I'd think would work fine). Something more exotic like apricot oil would work, too, but harder to find.

My hippy grocery store has almond oil in the health and beauty section.


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## BurtsGirl

I'm totally going to make a lot of these for myself and as gifts. Thanks for the tips, Grace. Know of a good, cheap place to get soy wax?


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## Scribe

$2/lb is a good price, I'd think. Try here?


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## BurtsGirl

Wow that site rawks!


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## jlutgendorf

My computer has decided to be super slow. which is bad when i need to work on large files. blah.

Rachel, I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry for the loss of your boss/mentor. That would be so hard. I'm pretty lucky in that I can still talk with my former peoples, it's just our relationship that's changed.

~Julia


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## jlutgendorf

Rainy and blah over here. I'm totally not motivated to work. yet have much to do.

Robert's been sick with "the crud". But I"m pretty proud of myself, normally the house devolves when one of us is sick, but so far I've made us dinner twice (ok, it meant I reheated soup and made grilled cheese sandwiches) and kept up with the animals and even did some side house work. Not a lot, but still, something is better than nothing!

~Julia


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## BurtsGirl

I hate slow computers. Just wanna throw them across the room. The boss/mentor thing has been hard. We still have videos that have his voice in the background. It's a little creepy.

We are foggy and blah over here. Hope Robert gets to feeling better. And you go with your keeping on top of it self! I







grill cheese.

Off to have lunch with my honey.


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## Scribe

I am home alone for a few days starting this afternoon. Mark is in England through Monday.


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## BurtsGirl

Is England really in the running? Is he interviewing for jobs or grad school? England sounds fun! It's definitely on my to-go list.

Any home-alone plans?


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## Scribe

Jobs. Postdoctoral fellowships, to be exact. He will graduate this spring. Yay Dr. Mark!

No real plans, besides maybe make meatloaf (I've been craving it) and watch movies and bad TV. Things have been so hectic, I could use the down time.


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## Scribe

UG. I had a bad night. Couldn't sleep for hours and then when I did get to sleep all three dogs woke me up sequentially to go out. I'm exhausted.

Bring the coffee!


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## BurtsGirl

You certainly deserve some down time, sister. Hope you enjoy that meatloaf! Yum!

Yesterday from after lunch on was bad for me. I ended up not going to pottery class because I hurt my wrist. I'm hoping this is just PMS but I was (and still a little am) depressed and not sure why. I feel you on the no sleep thing. I didn't get to bed until 1am and then could not get to sleep to save my life. VERY annoying.


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## jlutgendorf

I HATE not sleeping. My sleep schedule is way off, so if I want to get to sleep before 2-3 am I have to take something. Which ususally means I'm groggy in the morning. But I would be groggy anyway if I went to bed at 2 am&#8230;blah blah blah.

Sorry to hear the dogs were being butts. It's a good thing they're so cute. How do you like staying alone? I usually love the first day or two and then after that I start to get depressed, mainly because I think I'll do all these things (like clean) while Robert's gone, and then I never do.

Sorry about your wrist Rachel! And missing pottery. PMS sometimes makes me feel gross. I'll usually have a few days of being mood swingy and acting bitchy and then Robert (very gently) asks me if I'm going to get my period soon. and then i realize how crabby I've been and that he's right, I AM going to have my period. Always such fun times.

Not much new here. I woke up with a headache though. trying to be motivated for work.

~Julia


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## Scribe

I actually really like being home alone, the dogs just have a fit for the first day or so.

This time, I am leaving for Oregon before Mark gets back from England, so we're actually going to be apart for like 12 days or something. Which is as long as we've been in apart in years. I'm curious as to how we will handle that.


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## BurtsGirl

WOW. I'm not sure how I would handle being apart from Terri for that long. I think the longest we've ever been apart was for maybe 5 days or so when she flew to Mass for her g-father's wake/funeral.

Julia there are nights when I have to take something also to settle my mind down. Normally its just a Tylenol PM, but I still wake up groggy. Can't win for losing. And LMAO @ Robert _*gently*_ asking if your going to start your period.







.

I'm really trying to focus on work today. I've been so slack all week and I really need to get some video editing done and finish this video for our Integration division. It's that whole lack of self-motivation thing. Once I start working on something though I really get into it and enjoy what I do. Whoa, did I just say that...yes, yes I did. OK. So it's just the getting started part I have issues with.


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## Scribe

I'm working away too. Trying to get everything all in order, since tomorrow is my last day!


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## BurtsGirl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *avengingophelia* 
since tomorrow is my last day!

I think that warrants:








:















































































:

ETA:
*passing out







to everyone

A toast to Grace for new career beginning and opportunities and of course more $$$$$$$$$$$$$

*clink clink*


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## jlutgendorf

Quote:


Originally Posted by *avengingophelia* 
I'm working away too. Trying to get everything all in order, since tomorrow is my last day!

Awesome! how exciting.

I second the glass clinking!


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## BurtsGirl

Well, it's friday. Can I get a TGIF! I've been in such a funk this week, especially the tail end of the week. I'm hoping it will end with the weekend beginning.

Tomorrow we're going to the b-ball game. I'm going to try to remember to take some pictures. I want to start a scrapbook for the nephew so it would be cool to do a basketball page. The afternoon is up in the air right now. I'd like to drive to the mountains and visit some of my favorite shops and eat at the Flying Frog but not sure if that will happen or not. Sunday we'll be cleaning and doing yard work. We always watch the superbowl even though neither of us are big pro football fans. My sis and nephew are coming over to watch it with us and chow on some wings. So it should be fun. I think I'm rooting for the Steelers this year.

So what you gals got planned?


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## jlutgendorf

I think this week has been weird for everyone. We're going to eat dinner with friends tonight and try to forget all about this week!

I totally forgot about the super bowl. We aren't sports people AT ALL, but normally one of our friends has a party.

My goals are pretty much the same. try to clean the house







:. though this weekend we have NO plans other than the comcast guy coming out to fix the cable. I'm going to have to figure out what to do with the dogs as the cable is in our bedroom, and thats where their crates are. They'll bark in their crates, but they'll bug the cable guy if I let them out. Maybe i'll be strong and get up early and take them for a walk.

But yes, my main plan is to clean house and edit lots of photos!

~Julia

ETA: I was also a TOTAL SLACKER and didn't get into work until 10:25. 10:25! What's wrong with me?!


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## BurtsGirl

We had a good weekend. Friday night we (well, I ) decided it would be fun for us to take off for the beach. So we drove down and spent the night and played in Charleston on Sat. It was Rascal's first beach/ocean experience (I'll be posting more about this on my blog today) and I think he enjoyed it. Sun I finally did some major cleaning and it was MUCH overdue. I didn't realize how nasty my house had gotten. Blah! Hoping this is going to be a better week than last. I still haven't started my period but it's coming.

Last week I went to three stores looking for a pocket weekly calendar and a wall calendar and I couldn't find anything! What does one have to do to find a 2009 calendar in 2009? I went to B&N, Hobby Lobby, and Target. Any other suggestions?


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## jlutgendorf

Do you have a borders bookstore? That's crazy you couldn't find any a BN. That beach trip sounds like fun! I'd love to be able to take our girls to the beach one day, I think they'd really like it. I've only been to Charleston once, just for a few hours, but it was beautiful! Reminded me a lot of Savannah.

Our weekend was half good, half yuck. On Sat, slept in, worked around the house, then went to work and Robert did some work stuff and I worked on stock photos. By that time my throat was starting to hurt and I was starting to get stuffy, so I had taken a Mucinex earlier. Turns out I'm sensitive to the cough suppressant and only got three hours of sleep because it made me feel like i was on drugs (complete with mild hallucinations and dilated pupils). Since then I've had a fever and generally feel like crap. I'll probably need to see a dr. I'm worried about having a sinus infection or strep throat (my disease of choice).

I've got to figure out what's making us sick. We normally NEVER get sick, but this is the third time this winter that I've gotten a cold/sinus infection type thing.

~Julia


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## BurtsGirl

I think we have one in the mall. I'll check there during lunch today. Yeah, I was just done after BN didn't have any. They just had the small desk calendars. Blah! Charleston is a lot like Savannah! We've only been to Savannah for a few hours but it was nice. Most of the time we prefer the mountains to the beach but every once in a while I get an itch for the ocean.

Julia, you might want to get to a doctor. A lot of people around me are getting Strep right now. I hosed my nephew and sister off with nuetra air last night because she's in the middle of it. (Not contagious after 24hr on a z-pack though but just in case.) I started taking my Vit C again just as a precaution.

Did Grace leave for OR yet?


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## jlutgendorf

yeah, i think she left this morning or last night. I can't remember.

I'm thinking it's not strep now. mainly because my nose is so stuffy/runny, and that's not normally part of it for me. probably a sinus infection. gah. i hate going to the dr. especially when i don't feel good. they should come to me!









And my health insurance is all weird right now. I switched plans and because I'm going to a plan with more benefits, i have to reapply.







. and they just finally got the application packet to me today, so i'm not sure what my coverage is right now.

~Julia


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## BurtsGirl

Blah, I hate dealing with insurance stuff also. It's completely confusing and frustrating. I so wish we would just go to a single payer, government funded health care system like our Canadian neighbors. Hope you get to feeling better, J.


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## BurtsGirl

Julia, you rock! I found $4 calendars at Borders! YAY!!!! Thanks for mentioning them.

I have training to do at work today and I'm not looking forward to it. It's not that it's going to be boring or anything I'd just rather be doing something else. At least I will be getting it over with.


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## jlutgendorf

Sweet! I'm feeling better. no more fever but full of mucus! grossss.... and tired. it's hard to sleep when you can't breath.

I've got to play catch up now. and i'm not motivated at all. we should run away together so we can ignore our jobs today.









~Julia


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## BurtsGirl

Don't tempt me, Julia. I'll come kidnap you. Although I don't know where you work and I have yet another meeting after lunch. Poop. Maybe we could do a planned hooky day, lol.

So glad your feeling better! Are you guys getting excited about the art show next week?


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## jlutgendorf

Yeah, it should be fun. and you've reminded me we need to send out evites to our friends!

man, i'm so stuffed up. i think the sudafed has stopped working.


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## jlutgendorf

Did you survive your training? I don't know if I'll survive this cold!









I'm so stuffed up and the only thing helping is hot showers. bah!

~Julia


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## BurtsGirl

Yea, it wasn't so bad. It does put more responsiblity on me but we'll see how it plays out. Sucks you aren't feeling much better. Are you taking anything for the congestion? I've heard the netty pot works well, although I haven't tried it because the concept scares me. I'd totally drown myself,







.

I finally started my period but now I feel like a cow and have craps. BLAH! Good news is pottery class tonight! YAY! Just hoping I didn't miss too much last week.

I was hoping to get some newbies to join our tiny group here but doesn't look like we picked up any. Hmmmm. Just you and me, babe, for now.


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## wannabemoms

Blarg, I made a big long post and it's not here.









Oh well. I'm still around, in spirit if not in practice.

I'm super-busy at work, and trying to get the nerve to start contacting potential PhD supervisors in my "spare time" (ha ha). I'm seriously considering a program that would involve me spending 4 months of the year away from home. Not, like, in a different city away from home. Like PANAMA away from home. I'm frightened.


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## BurtsGirl

Yay, Crystal,







.

Wow panama! Is the a career move or is this with the going back to school thing? Sounds exciting. Bet you'll get a nice tan while you're there.


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## wannabemoms

This would be back to school. One of the schools I'm looking at offers a Neotropical Environment Option as part of grad studies... I can't help but think how [email protected] it would be studying insects up in the canopy of a rainforest (call me crazy, but hey). I did a short stint (3 weeks) in the tropics of Belize a few years ago and always wanted to work in that kind of environment again. But being away from home, and Kim, for 4 months at a time is pretty intimidating.


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## BurtsGirl

Tough call, Crystal. I'm sure you'll make the best decision for you and Kim.

I'm down today. My period has come on full force and it's not fun. Blah! Can't we just get rid of these things if we aren't going to use them anyway?

So, what's everyone's weekend shaping up to look like?


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## Scribe

Hey all, I'm still in OR, just checking in quickly. Things here are going well, if a bit stressful. Busy busy. Sorry everyone is feeling crappy here!!


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## jlutgendorf

Wow, you have some tough (but really interesting) decisions in front of you Crystal.

Sorry you're feeling crappy Rachel!









I'm feeling a little better. less congested, though now my nose feels all dried out and crispy. fun!

This weekend, the biggest thing will be participating in the Rail Arts District Studio Cruise: http://www.mudfire.com/RAD-Studio-Cruise-2009.htm

We'll be at our studio doing Valentine's Day photos. We wanted to find a cut out of Obama and let people have their picture taken with him, but we couldn't find one that would get to us fast enough. So hearts and lace it is!

~Julia


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## jlutgendorf

Quote:


Originally Posted by *avengingophelia* 
Hey all, I'm still in OR, just checking in quickly. Things here are going well, if a bit stressful. Busy busy. Sorry everyone is feeling crappy here!!

oh hey Grace! I'm looking forward to hearing about your trip when you get back and are settled in!


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## BurtsGirl

Grace!







. Hope your trip is going well. We miss you!

Julia, that RAD cruise looks awesome. Wish we didn't have plans this weekend already. We'd love to have done the tour and stop in your studio for some pictures!

Friday, my sister and I have a date. We're going to dinner and then to see "he's just not that into you". Should be fun. Sat we are going to the b-ball game and then taking my dad to lunch for his birthday. After that we're going to have the nephew and we're thinking of doing a small hike with him since it will be warm. Sunday we'll run the usual errands and pittle around the house.


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## jlutgendorf

How was everyone's weekend? Grace are you back home?

Ours was good. The event turned out well. Started out rough, but we were packed by the end of the night. I'll write more about it in the blog (along with embarassing photos of myself!).

Here's the portraits we took: http://eyeonlinemedia.smugmug.com/ga...6_PwgdE#P-1-12

And we were smart and we got EMAILs this time. So we can get back in touch with everyone. It's a learning process!

~Julia


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## Scribe

I am back, and first day at my new job! Exciting stuff all around.

Portraits are so cute! Looks like a really good time.


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## BurtsGirl

Loved the pictures, J! Glad you guys are having some fun with all this work stuff. And I want to know when the next cool show is in advance, missy! I wanna come!

Our weekend went as planned. We did finish the entertainment center. It's awesome! Got in a hike with the boy and sunday just pittled around the house and yard. It was freakin gorgeous here!

Grace, glad to have you back. Hope the new job is treating you right.


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## Scribe

I have a little internet privacy problem, so please note my new user name.

New job is good. Learning a lot right now, training to get up to speed. I think I'm going to enjoy it.


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## jlutgendorf

Sounds like you had a nice weekend Rachel!

I hope your new job is going well Grace, sorry that you're having privacy issues.

Not much new here. i am completely unmotivated to work. i'm in a funk of sorts i guess. I was even being snippy with Robert yesterday. i hate being like this, where i know i'm being obnoxious, but i don't care. hmmmm maybe i'm due to get my period!









~Julia


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## Scribe

Fun challenge: help me decorate my new cube! I need some color and life in here or I'm gonna go nuts, but I need to keep it professional, too. I'm thinking a letterpress calender is a good start, but what else would you suggest?


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## BurtsGirl

Julia, sorry you're so ack! I hate being in a funk. I haven't been very motivated to work much either this week, instead I've been planning out our vacation this year, which is a lot more fun.

Grace, I'm thinking about your challenge, I'll be back with some ideas and more things I want to share when I have some time after lunch.


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## jlutgendorf

huh, just checked my fertility friend calendar and I AM due to have my period soon. I'm actually a little over due, but my cycles have been getting wonky lately. Last one was 48 days, when normally I'm 29-33 days.









Well, at least i'll be less bitchy soon!


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## BurtsGirl

Ok, a little more time now.

Grace. I don't got much. I tried googling cube decor and it was not a pretty sight. I need a cube makeover myself so I'm not much for advice in this department. I've actually never thought about decorating my cube in a mindful way. I've just sporadically thrown stuff up there and it's not all that cohesive. Since you brought this up though and I am looking around the cube I am definitely going to do a make over. My only suggestion is to add an office plant. It's really awesome to watch something grow in your cube and I high recommend it.

We've had somethings going on lately. We had to call a plumber out to the house today because the washer was backing up. Fortunately it wasn't too big of a deal and he was done in 30 mins. Just a really big clog.

We also got some bad news last week about Terri's Step dad. He was diagnosed with lung cancer last year. They did a surgery and chemo and we thought he was in the clear. Turns out in Jan they found out it spread to his brain. Terri was a wreck. Mostly because of what her mother has gone through lately. Her mom lost her parents in 2005 & 2007. She's been caring for a very sick much older brother and her husband. She can't seem to catch a break and it's heartbreaking.

Terri and I discussed what we would need to do if he passed before our planned trip up there in June/July. Terri really wants to be there for her mom so we're at the very least going to fly her, if not both of us, if/when the time comes. At first I wasn't sure if our planned vacation up there would still be on or if we'd try to put it on hold but Terri wanted the two events to be separate so that's the way we're treating it. Her mom didn't tell her how long the step dad has but they are going through Chemo again. If that doesn't work we're not sure what will happen next. It's hard to be so far away when we know her mother must feel so alone in this.


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## jlutgendorf

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Scribe* 
Fun challenge: help me decorate my new cube! I need some color and life in here or I'm gonna go nuts, but I need to keep it professional, too. I'm thinking a letterpress calender is a good start, but what else would you suggest?

Do you have room/the right kind of walls to put up some art? i remember from your blog that you got some really colorful art for xmas, anyway to put something like those pieces up?

and i love letterpress. it's like graphic designer porn. but we have poor clients so we never get to do any jobs that use it.


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## jlutgendorf

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BurtsGirl* 
Ok, a little more time now.

Grace. I don't got much. I tried googling cube decor and it was not a pretty sight. I need a cube makeover myself so I'm not much for advice in this department. I've actually never thought about decorating my cube in a mindful way. I've just sporadically thrown stuff up there and it's not all that cohesive. Since you brought this up though and I am looking around the cube I am definitely going to do a make over. My only suggestion is to add an office plant. It's really awesome to watch something grow in your cube and I high recommend it.

We've had somethings going on lately. We had to call a plumber out to the house today because the washer was backing up. Fortunately it wasn't too big of a deal and he was done in 30 mins. Just a really big clog.

We also got some bad news last week about Terri's Step dad. He was diagnosed with lung cancer last year. They did a surgery and chemo and we thought he was in the clear. Turns out in Jan they found out it spread to his brain. Terri was a wreck. Mostly because of what her mother has gone through lately. Her mom lost her parents in 2005 & 2007. She's been caring for a very sick much older brother and her husband. She can't seem to catch a break and it's heartbreaking.

Terri and I discussed what we would need to do if he passed before our planned trip up there in June/July. Terri really wants to be there for her mom so we're at the very least going to fly her, if not both of us, if/when the time comes. At first I wasn't sure if our planned vacation up there would still be on or if we'd try to put it on hold but Terri wanted the two events to be separate so that's the way we're treating it. Her mom didn't tell her how long the step dad has but they are going through Chemo again. If that doesn't work we're not sure what will happen next. It's hard to be so far away when we know her mother must feel so alone in this.

Wow Rachel, that must be really hard. Terri's mom sounds like a strong lady. Is there any way she can get respite care sometimes for the people she's caring for? It doesn't make them less ill, but it can give her breaks and time to herself. I know that caretakers (who are mostly women) often get burnt out and end up not taking good care of themselves. Maybe Terri could send her a gift certificate to use for a massage or something like that.










~Julia


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## BurtsGirl

That's a really good idea, Julia. (about the massage) Terri's mother is one of those people who has to have someone to take care of. She wouldn't step down from that position, i don't think. She needs to be needed.

I am going to look into that massage. They live in such a small mountain town that I'm not sure what's up there.


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## Scribe

If you can't do a massage GC in her location, maybe something like a take-out GC?

I just ordered my first cube decoration--this calender, which I've been eyeing for months.


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## BurtsGirl

Grace those are so pretty! You need to pass along any ideas you are gathering for your cube so I can steal them for my cube.


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## Scribe

Do you read Dooce? She's got a great "Daily Style" section. I bookmark things from it all the time.


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## jlutgendorf

That's pretty! I'm so sad they've stopped producing the Print Gocco. I really wanted to try it out.

~Julia


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## BurtsGirl

Googled dooce and apparently I'm reading her NOW! 44, thanks Grace. LOL! Now I just need to google Gocco


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## Scribe

Hehe. You're welcome?









Did you ever make those massage candles? I made some and they turned out great. They are super cute in thrifted wine glasses, too.


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## BurtsGirl

My bff and I are getting together next monday to make them. I haven't decided what to put them in yet. I did get the wax from the link you posted and I also got some apricot oil for them. I just need some wicks and containers. Any tips or suggestions from the btdt view?

ETA: love the wine glass idea!


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## Scribe

I used 3 parts wax to one part oil, which seemed to work out just about right. I used a combo of almond oil and coconut oil, just because that's what I had the most of on-hand.

I'd use something smallish for containers, because was melts down so much. I used small wine glasses and needed about 6 oz wax and 2 oz oil for each candle.


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## jlutgendorf

You all should post photos of these candle thingys. They sound interesting.

Rachel, the print gocco is/was this cool little device made in Japan that let people make their own small, short runs of screen printed items, but without the huge hassle of doing it "the real way" (which is complicated, involved and messy).

But the Japanese manufacturer has stopped production. and i'm thinking that since they aren't making the inks and flash bulbs needed to use the machine, that once people run out, that's it, there's no way to make them work anymore. very sad. so people are trying to get other manufacturer's to pick up production.


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## Scribe

They look just like regular un-dyed container candles, they're just much softer to the touch and burn at a much lower temp, so you can extinguish them and then use the melted wax/oil for massage.


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## BurtsGirl

I might do a test run this weekend to see how it comes out.

Wow, the Gocco is pretty neat. Bummer they are stopping production!


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## BurtsGirl

Found this one a blog and thought it would be appreciated here.

*TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:
*
(1) They live here. You don't.

(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.

(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

*Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they&#8230;
*
(1) eat lessDog and cat

(2) don't ask for money all the time

(3) are easier to train

(4) normally come when called

(5) never ask to drive the car

(6) don't hang out with drug-using people

(7) don't smoke or drink

(8) don't want to wear your clothes

(9) don't have to buy the latest fashions

(10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and

(11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children


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## jlutgendorf

That's funny Rachel!









And it actually reminds me of a situation I've been thinking about. Our neighborhood is generally very "lax" when it comes to animal care. There's tons of feral cats, who are sadly kept in check by cars and stray dogs. I don't think I've seen a cat last longer than a year around here.









On to the dogs, there's also a big population of stray/irresponsibly owned dogs. We're sort of attached to one stray, we call him Sun Pup (cause he lays in the sun a lot). He's picked a family to be his pack and he sleeps on their front porch. I think the mom tries to feed him some of the time, but they're really poor.

We also have another dog, we call call Not Zeke (cause she looks like our neighbor's dog, Zeke, but isn't him). She sort of has owners. Sort of. Well, she and Sun Pup are good friends and she spends a lot of time with him, and she is, of course, now knocked up and HUGELY pregnant. Like she looks like a hippo she's so big with babies.

So what do we do? She used to be more friendly, would try and play with Keira when Robert walks her, but lately she's gotten skittish. She's also too far along to spay/abort. I'm honestly surprised she hasn't popped yet, she's just huge.

We have absolutely no where to keep her and puppies if we could grab her. Our yard isn't fenced in and the house is too small and crowded with animals already. Plus, her pups are most likely going to be lab/pit/gsd mixes (that's the majority of the dogs in our area). They're probably going to be black and mid sized, meaning they're going to have a hard time finding homes.

So what would you do? If anything? None of our friends are looking for puppies or dogs, the rescues are full up&#8230;

Any thoughts?


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## Scribe

Gah. If only I had an answer to that.


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## BurtsGirl

I don't have much advice either. I'd probably try to take her to a no-kill shelter. That just sounds like a heart-breaking situation, J.

So what are the weekend plans? If you haven't already read my blog, we don't celebrate V-day but I have no opinion on other people celebrating. We're planning a hiking trip on Sun but Sat is pretty open because it's supposed to rain. Might just stay in and watch movies.

Grace's costco post on her blog had me talking Terri into a visit there tonight to check out what they have and if it would be benefical for us to become memebers.

I'm also thinking of doing my taxes myself this year. I normally have someone else do them for me because I have the house, student loans, charity donations, etc to deduct but they charge me almost $200 to do them. I'm looking at something like turbotax to do them this year. How do you guys do your tax stuff? Any advice/opinion on tax software?


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## wannabemoms

Geez, I don't know what I would do with that dog. There's seriously no rescues around who could take her? Any not-so-nearby that would be willing to arrange transport? Eek, I'd hate to see that around me, I'd be worried sick.

Speaking of preggo dogs, our little miss Heidi entered "womanhood" today, she started her first heat! We decided to delay her spay, partly because she had/has mange and partly because we think there are some long term health benefits to delaying, so now we get to keep her under lock and key for a while, yay. Our neighbourhood is full of intact, roaming males.







: On the plus side, I found a use for the huge bag of cloth diapers I scored super-cheap last year, which have been sitting gathering dust in our closet...some creative scissor action for a tail-hole and voila! One dog cleverly disguised as an organ-grinder monkey









Oh, on the taxes note. In the past we've had an accountant do them for us, when DW was claiming her driving/auto expenses. That's not happening anymore so I think I'm going to do them myself and save us a few hundred dollars in fees. I've done them before using QuickTax (dunno if there's a US version). It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it might be.


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## jlutgendorf

Yeah&#8230;I'm kicking myself for not grabing her when she was friendlier and not knocked up. I think it's $60 for a spay, which is a little expensive for us, but it's better than 8 new, not really adoptable puppies. sigh.

We don't have many plans. Art show tonight and "anti-valentines" pizza and beer with friends. I had to grill Robert to find out if he was getting me anything for Vday. I'd rather we just eat candy!







but he's a romantic guy and he's always planning something, so I found him a last minute gift, an illustration of two guinea pigs in love (we have lots of guinea pigs!). I liked your blog post btw rachel. and grace you need to blog more. That's how i entertain myself at work!









~Julia


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## BurtsGirl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jlutgendorf* 
grace you need to blog more. That's how i entertain myself at work!
























:


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## jlutgendorf

oh, forgot the tax question. I've used turbo tax, it was fine, but we hire someone now as I can't even begin to figure it out with regards to Robert's biz, owning the house, blah blah blah.

In regards to the dog and rescue, the entire state of GA (and much of the SE) is in HORRIBLE crisis mode with regards to homeless animals. Most rescues pull exclusivly from our animal controls, because they're overcrowded and underfunded. It's so bad that traditionally adoptable animals (small cute lap dogs, puppies, kittens) are put to sleep in huge numbers. Often rescues from Maine, NH, etc. will put together transports for the small dogs and bring them up there to be adopted out as there's a shortage of those kind of dogs.

Her best bet, rescue-wise, would be to drop her off at our local AC, then go nuts on craigslist, posting photos of this poor mama dog who's going to be forced to have her babies on cold concrete. That sometimes gets them pulled, but there's also a chance that her being that pregnant would be an automatic put to sleep.

ok, sorry to go off on that tanget, not trying to make everyone depressed!


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## Scribe

I do my own taxes. I actually really love doing it. I considered doing it professionally at one point. But if you make less than I think $60K, you can use H&R Block Online for free, which is super-duper easy.

I know, my blog is suffering! Seriously though, I am SO overextended. New job, several freelance projects, still on contract with old job, and big volunteer grant editing assingment. Plus a few special bath products orders. I'm barely keeping my head above water.


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## BurtsGirl

Julia, I am completely depressed now, thanks. You need to post a GPP on your blog *stat*!

Grace, seriously, did you take on so much to purposely screw yourself and your freetime or was this an accident?


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## BurtsGirl

Reading over my previous post I need to add that it was meant as sarcasm and not to be a biotch.


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## BurtsGirl

Taxes - Thanks for the input on this, guys. I think I'm going to purchase the software and give it a shot this weekend. I've heard it's easy to use and most of my stuff is pretty normal...I think...I hope...


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## Scribe

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BurtsGirl* 
Grace, seriously, did you take on so much to purposely screw yourself and your freetime or was this an accident?

Heh. It wasn't so much accidental as a perfect storm of things. All of these things individually would be fine, and when I agreed to do each of them, I didn't realize that I'd be doing them concurrently.

It will end up fine, just a little breathless for a few weeks.


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## BurtsGirl

I'm exhausted just hearing the list! Hope you can at least see the light at the end of the storm, lady!

I've got a question and I was going to post it in my blog because I feel like I overload this thread sometimes. But I'd like more real conversation about it.

Last night some friends and I went bowling and we got to talking about mutuality in friendships. Of the friends we have we are normally the ones to plan get-togethers, dinner parties, vacations, and activities. We do have one couple that's pretty good at reciprocating our efforts with their own but most of our friends really don't for various (some justified) reasons. (and that one couple lives about an hour and a half away) Terri and I have talked about this and we're getting pretty sick of putting forth all the effort for things and no one else stepping up.

Like last night our friends said, "you need to come over and see the new (fill in the blank), and we'll have dinner." This is something she's said a bazillion times. I always look at her and say, "we'd love to, just let us know when," and she never does. Last night I'd just had it and I told her that she aways says that and never follows through with an invitation. She didn't have a response really and there was still no invite. I am so tired of being the planner in our friendships. We actually took a year off from dinner parties, etc to see if someone else would set up and plan something. Nope. We almost never saw our friends that year.

Which leads me to two conclusions. My friends are lazy or they don't really like hanging out with us. I'd love to start a supper club but I can't count on them to plan for their month, not to cancel, or to even commit to a month. I love my friends, I really do. When we do get together it's so great and everyone has a great time.

Terri and I LOVE to entertain. We also like to go all out because Terri loves to cook and I love to make everything special and nice. So we're a good team. I have had one friend tell me that they don't feel like they can match our hospitality and I told her she didn't need to. Even if she invited us out to eat, that would be great. We don't care if it's paper plates and KFC. We entertain the way we do because we really do enjoy it, not because we expect our friend to entertain the same way. Am I being ridiculous? Are my expectations of my friends unrealistic? Do I just need to find more friends? Advice or a kick in the butt or a different persective very much welcome.


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## Scribe

I've heard that issue come up with friends before. It's definitely a tough one. I think, in part, some people just really aren't comfortable entertaining. I'm not. Having people at my house, especially lots of people, is very stressful to me and I don't usually do it if I don't have to. I try to be reciprocal in my friendships in other ways, though.

The other part is being the one to do the inviting means being the one to risk rejection. To some people, that's no big deal--they don't even think of it that way. To others, it's a big deal. I'm in the big deal camp. Even if I am close friends with someone, I have to really psyche myself up to invite them to do something, because I know I'll feel rejected if they say no.

Neither of these things excuses being a giver and not a taker, but these are just some possibilities of what might be happening.


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## wannabemoms

That's a tough one, Rachel. I know I am supremely, embarassingly guilty of being a crappy friend in that regard, which is probably why I now, at the age of almost-30, find myself pretty much friendless. I'm really not sure why I do it. I LOVED the friends I had, but unless they were right there (like, as in, we were roommates), making the effort to get together was too much for me. It really isn't, but it felt like it. Now that I live out of town, far away from everybody, it's worse. I really have zero friends IRL. It's pretty sad.

Two totally OT things:

1. I started a blog. I've been enjoying yours and wanted to start something. Not sure what it's going to transform into, but it's there in some kind of larval/infant stage: falltoclimb dot blogspot dot com

2. Grace, how did you change your user name without starting a new account? I wanna change my name.


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## Scribe

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wannabemoms* 
2. Grace, how did you change your user name without starting a new account? I wanna change my name.

$2.50 PP to the mods and a request.


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## wannabemoms

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Scribe* 
$2.50 PP to the mods and a request.

Bah. I'll just start a new one.


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## Who me?

Yeah, it's me. Done with the old user name.


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## BurtsGirl

Thanks guys, good insight. I know one friend has a problem with rejection in the way Grace mentioned and I understand that, although your right in that it's not an excuse. As for having people in our space, I also understand that but even it's it just let's go get some drinks after work or let's go bowling, or anything. I'm just tired of it always being me. Friendships are so hard sometimes. I also think being a childfree person should allow for more time to form and bond with a group of friends. We don't have to go home after work every night because there are kids to feed, wash, and put to bed. I want more of a life... I'm just not sure how to get there yet.

And don't get me wrong I still _*love*_ entertaining I just need to find some friends who also enjoy it, I guess. Next weekend we're doing a 5 course beer dinner. We're preparing a fabulous meal with 5 different courses and Terri is pairing a local micro-brew beer to each course. And yes I plan to partake. Should be a lot of fun and we're really looking forward to it. We've done wine tastings and football parties, superbowl parties, july 4th picnics, tried to plan a group vacation that didn't happen like it was supposed to. It's just frustrating and defeating. I'd like to for once enjoy the work of someone else and not have to clean up afterwards. Blah! I do have one friend that is really trying but she's yet to come up with an invite to anything.

Cystal, welcome to the blogosphere! I







your blog and have made sure to place appropriate comments.

Julia, you need to blog more also, missy!


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## Scribe

Julia, can you explain your sig line to me?

Beer dinner sounds awesome, Rachel. I want to come!


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## jlutgendorf

man, i gotta refresh more often!









Let's see, friends. Most of our close friendships are pretty evenly reciprocal. though now that i think about it, we need to clean up and have people over. We like to entertain, but the main living area is a wreck and I'm currently too embarrassed to have people over.







So thanks for that reminder.

I do find that with friends who aren't as reciprocal, it's usually the flakier ones. But with them, part of what I love about them IS the flakiness, so I accept it. Though I'm not as good of friends with them as the others. that was a bad sentence.

So, I don't know. I try harder for the relationships that are most important to me. And generally my closest relationships easily survive slacking on my part or theirs. So I guess I would say, keep in touch with those you're the closest with and don't let the rest stress you out.

Um, and I'm inviting myself to the 5 course diner.







it sounds awesome.

Yay for a new name and blog Crystal! I'll go check it out.

I do need to blog more. I have to recap our art opening last night and we're going to another one tonight. so much to do, so little time! though I'm not as busy as Grace!

As for my sig, it's a line taken from the anime series Ghost in the Shell. It was said by the character who was Prime Minister of Japan (who is also a woman). Someone was trying to coddle her and she responded with that line. I like it because i interpret it along the lines of a guy saying "oh let me carry that box" to a woman, out of the notion of being chivalrous, eventually leads to the idea that he needs to carry the box because she can't. And that's something I've always thought about/talked about since I was little. Why does being a woman mean people open my doors, carry my things, pay for me on dates, etc.? I don't agree with it.

I'm not an anime person at all, but Ghost in the Shell is very political/post modern theory/issues surrounding technology and the individual vs. society. It's very cerebral. Though the Major (lead character) does run around in not a lot of clothing most of the time.







And is generally eye candy.

~Julia


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## BurtsGirl

Julia, thanks for the reply. I was







: most of the way through it. Periodic slacking is one thing, never extending an invitation is another. Now I want to see Ghost in the Shell!

How was everyone's weekend?

We spent Sat running all over the place and Sunday hangout with a friends who live out in the country, and I mean the deep-woods kind of country. We did get to go to the REI store though so YAY! We also played a lot of video games this weekend, lol.


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## Scribe

Is the TV show very different from the movie? I know I was supposed to love the movie, but I really, really didn't.

My weekend was productive, but not all that relaxing. I got quite a bit done. And Mark and I did sneak in a movie yesterday. "The Wrestler." It was fabulous.


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## BurtsGirl

Ooo, I wanna see the Wrestler! Good to hear it's a good one!

BFF and I are making the soy candles tonight. I'm so excited. Should be lots-o-fun. I didn't get a chance to do a trial run this weekend so we'll both be in the dark. I'm using some left over baby food jars we bought off ebay for gifts of spice rub mixtures to serve as the holder. Hope it works ok.


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## jlutgendorf

Our weekend was nice. It was gloomy on Sat, but not really rainy. We braved the farmer's market (which was INSANE, weekend + holiday = do not go to the farmer's market), and got ingredients to make a huge pot of pork and tomatillo stew. So GOOD. Though it wasn't done cooking until midnight because we got started on it so late!







We also saw Push, which was pretty good.

Sunday we started to clean out our shed (scary!) so we can eventually move our current kitchen table in there and switch to using a drop leaf table to save space (which we desperately need. Then we worked on photos/web type stuff. and then met up with friends for drinks and grazing. Ended up staying out with them until 1, so much for going to bed early on Sunday! It was so much fun though, we hadn't seen one of them in 4 years and our other friend has a new girlfriend who is hilarious.

Grace, i'm guessing you saw the very first movie made? Where the Major runs around nekkid a lot and busts up her body at the end? I found that first movie to be more "anime"-like than the tv series. I thought the first movie was kind of "Akira" like, you know where every now and then you go, wtf?

I think the tv series was done for americans, or at least with americans in mind. I'm not sure if you would like it though, despite the higher level dialogue and concepts being presented, it's still violent and the women are still mostly busty and scantily clad. Though they do kick ass.

~Julia


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## Scribe

I'm all about violent women, Julia. Yes, it was the original that I saw.

Rachel, I think baby food jars will work great. One tip: put the wax in first, then place the wick. Because the wax is soft with the oils in it and sets up kind of slowly, it doesn't work to try to stick the wick to the bottom and then pour in the wax (like you do with regular candles).


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## jlutgendorf

ha ha! cool! I personally love the Major's character in the TV series. She never needs saving, which I think is great. What didn't you like about the first movie? I'm just curious. I don't know if I remember enough about the first one as it compares to later movies and the series.

~Julia


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## BurtsGirl

Ok, really good tip to know. I've never made any kind of candles before so I'm really not sure what I'm doing. Wax then wicks, got it.

Julia, you mentioning cleaning out the shed reminded me of some thing I read on a blog last week and LOVED. It linked this slide show of prefab sheds turned into extra living space. I LOVE this concept. It's like adding more square footage at a fraction of the price. Of course the ones they show are really expensive but I think there are definitely some cheaper alternatives.


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## jlutgendorf

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BurtsGirl* 
Ok, really good tip to know. I've never made any kind of candles before so I'm really not sure what I'm doing. Wax then wicks, got it.

Julia, you mentioning cleaning out the shed reminded me of some thing I read on a blog last week and LOVED. It linked this slide show of prefab sheds turned into extra living space. I LOVE this concept. It's like adding more square footage at a fraction of the price. Of course the ones they show are really expensive but I think there are definitely some cheaper alternatives.

ooo! thanks for the links Rachel! I know that's what we need to do to our house, bring a lot of the living space outside. We really need to get at least part of our yard fenced in so the dogs can run more and figure out some kind of screen door so we can leave the doors open, but not let the kittehs outside. I'd love to put in more of a patio area as well. ah, if only i had more time and money!







and probably the vacant lot next door to us!

~Julia


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## jlutgendorf

Anyone alive? Rachel how's the pottery class going? I must see pics of your finished fired pieces! How's the job Grace? Great job on blogging, now I have to catch up!









And hi Crystal! post whenever you feel like it! oooo, i should go check your blog as well!

~Julia


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## Who me?

I'm alive! Ex.****.ted. Though. DW and I did some marathon renos. She's been working since Thursday, I started Saturday. It's worth it though, we're about a week away from having a functional spare bedroom. I can't wait! I finally got around to fixing up the kitchen cupboards, and we painted the downstairs bath/laundry. I need to get some pictures. I think we're actually starting to see the light at the end of the reno tunnel. The only room that needs to be totally done now, and not just touchups, is the main bedroom. Ok, I lied the main bath needs to be gutted, but that's going to be the one room we let someone else does. Paint and drywall cannot save that monstrosity of 80's hideousness. A blowtorch might, but not paint and drywall. We're going to get a contractor in to lay carpet upstairs and gut the bathroom.

soooooo sleepy.


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## BurtsGirl

Definitely alive over here. Last night my BFF and I did the massage candles, they rocked the house. We did about 10 candles in the baby food jars in various scents. Can't wait to try them out.

I made the mistake of stepping onto the scale today. My eye's just about popped out of my head when I saw the number. Do you guys weigh yourselves? If so how often? I should have never gotten on it. WHY! Why did I do that. BLAH!

I've been lurking over at TheChildfreeLife dot com. They've got some pretty interesting articles. They also have a forum but I haven't decided if its too radical for me or not.

I'm really trying to change my perpective of my career. I've taken Grace's cue and bought some art and nice picture frames for my cube. I'm hoping to add a few more touches for a cube makeover. When it's finished I'll post a before and after pic on the blog. Grace, I'd love to know what you're doing with your cube issues.

I'm trying to treat my job with more respect, and in turn treat myself that way as well. I think as women we're always taught that we aren't good enough. For instance, my title at work is Digital Media Producer. When I first started working here I thought it was just way too over the top for what I did. I used to say, "Well, my fancy title is Digital Media Producer but what I really do is..." Now I realize the title really fits. I really do handle all the digital media that comes and goes from this place and I need to start treating my position with a little more respect.

I'm also working on my "image" which is something my inner defiant teen is cringing over. I really don't care what these people think of me, I do my job and I do it well so bite me if you don't like me. But I'm trying to act more professional. I'm adding a little makeup (gasp!) and am looking at how I present myself. This is more for me than for anyone else. My thoughts are that if I can treat myself with respect and professionalism, I'll start acting like my job is important and purposeful and not just treat it with distain and disregard. I spend WAY too much time here not to feel good about where I am.

So far, only day two, it's working a little. I need to work on my daily schedule, focus, and goals because I just get too side tracked with browsing online sometimes. I'm planning on staying late tonight and cleaning my cube and adding the art and frames I bought.

Julia, alive enough for ya,







:


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## Who me?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BurtsGirl* 
Definitely alive over here. Last night my BFF and I did the massage candles, they rocked the house. We did about 10 candles in the baby food jars in various scents. Can't wait to try them out.

I made the mistake of stepping onto the scale today. My eye's just about popped out of my head when I saw the number. Do you guys weigh yourselves? If so how often? I should have never gotten on it. WHY! Why did I do that. BLAH!

*I don't too much these days, maybe every few weeks. I was weighing almost every day or every other day about 8 months ago when i started actively working on being more active and eating better. But if I've been "cheating" like around xmas, I don't bother 'cause I know that the number won't make me happy, and I don't want to get hung up on numbers. I can tell where I'm at by how my clothes fit now.*

I've been lurking over at TheChildfreeLife dot com. They've got some pretty interesting articles. They also have a forum but I haven't decided if its too radical for me or not.

I'm really trying to change my perpective of my career. I've taken Grace's cue and bought some art and nice picture frames for my cube. I'm hoping to add a few more touches for a cube makeover. When it's finished I'll post a before and after pic on the blog. Grace, I'd love to know what you're doing with your cube issues.

*I always have to have a few personal items in my work space, it's usually the first thing I do when I move to a new cube...pics of the dogs, DW, and my nephews, that sort of thing.*

I'm trying to treat my job with more respect, and in turn treat myself that way as well. I think as women we're always taught that we aren't good enough. For instance, my title at work is Digital Media Producer. When I first started working here I thought it was just way too over the top for what I did. I used to say, "Well, my fancy title is Digital Media Producer but what I really do is..." Now I realize the title really fits. I really do handle all the digital media that comes and goes from this place and I need to start treating my position with a little more respect.

I'm also working on my "image" which is something my inner defiant teen is cringing over. I really don't care what these people think of me, I do my job and I do it well so bite me if you don't like me. But I'm trying to act more professional. I'm adding a little makeup (gasp!) and am looking at how I present myself. This is more for me than for anyone else. My thoughts are that if I can treat myself with respect and professionalism, I'll start acting like my job is important and purposeful and not just treat it with distain and disregard. I spend WAY too much time here not to feel good about where I am.

So far, only day two, it's working a little. I need to work on my daily schedule, focus, and goals because I just get too side tracked with browsing online sometimes. I'm planning on staying late tonight and cleaning my cube and adding the art and frames I bought.

Julia, alive enough for ya,







:

Image at work it an interesting subject. Personally, I feel better when I look better. I used to HATE clothes and HATE thinking about what to wear, but I find that if I take some care in my appearance, it makes me feel better and empowered somehow...now this is very contradictory to how I've always felt that it's the inside that counts. But dang it, I look pretty awesome in a pencil skirt, sharp sweater and heels, and it subconsciously changes how I carry myself, and present myself to others...I feel good and in control and like I don't have to take anybody's -hit.







I don't feel like that necessarily in jeans and a turtleneck. I keep those "power outfits" for days when I need a pick-me-up or when I know I need to make a good impression.


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## BurtsGirl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Who, me?* 
Image at work it an interesting subject. Personally, I feel better when I look better. I used to HATE clothes and HATE thinking about what to wear, but I find that if I take some care in my appearance, it makes me feel better and empowered somehow...now this is very contradictory to how I've always felt that it's the inside that counts.

Exactly my thoughts. Good to hear the theory works!


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## Scribe

As usual, Rachel, we're struggling with a lot of the same things.

So far, my cubical decor consists of:
-bright geometric floral cork placemat under the monitor
-bamboo expanding pencil holder with new pens, mechanical pencils and chocolates in it
-coordinating red and cream file folders and message pad
-mouse pad with my dogs on it

When the calendar I ordered comes, I'll put it up as well. And I went all out and ordered a fancy one-cup coffee pot (the kind with those pod things), which I plan to set up up on a tray with mugs in one corner, like a little coffee station.

The broader issue, though, of taking yourself and what you do seriously and not assuming you are overtitled/overpaid/etc. is one I really struggle with. It's hard for me, for whatever reason, to wrap my head around the idea of myself as a professional who deserves professional respect and professional compensation. And I think it is largely one of those "fake it 'til you make it" issues--act and dress like a professional and eventually you can conceptualize yourself as one, you know?

But I'm still sloppy. Khakis, long-sleeved plain tee, clogs. I put the casual in business casual...I've been wearing makeup lately, but I'm not today. I just bought two new great pairs of heels, but I haven't worn them...


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## jlutgendorf

woohoo! super alive!

Crystal, what you're doing sounds awesome, post photos in your blog! (can you tell I'm obsessed with blogs?)

Rachel, I totes understand you. For the past few months, I've been looking at my wardrobe and going wtf? I don't think I used to dress poorly, but man, some of my outfits&#8230;plus, with my lateness I'm not always very put together looking.

It's really interesting to me, because in high school i was SO image focused. I had to shower, blow dry my hair, curl my hair, find just washed, non-wrinkled clothes, etc. and I did that EVERY DAY i had school. I got up at 5:30 in the morning so I could do all that. And it was because of some weird notion, that if I didn't do all those things, "someone would know" and they would&#8230;tell everyone? be mean to me? I have no idea what, as I have never been bullied over having straight hair, wrinkled clothes, etc.

Then in college, I realized that was all insane and I loosened up a lot. But now I feel like I went to far, I need some of that structure back if I'm going to be working in office settings.

And THEN (omg) I start thinking about why we have these standards of look and professionalism, and why are they like that, and are they good or bad? and and and&#8230; can you tell I over think things?







I do have to admit, that I've always been fascinated by standards that are set by society, but seem to have little actual necessity when it comes to people being happy and successful. I've done a fair bit of art around those concepts as they relate to gender roles, haven't gotten into appearances yet! But maybe now I will.

Sorry for all of that rambling! I'm bored with my current project and procrastinating!

~Julia


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## BurtsGirl

Love the coffee station idea, Grace, not that I like coffee but I bet it will be adorable when you get it all set up. You wanna take the right side of the brain and I'll take the left?

My problem is definitely not overcompensation. I'm underpaid by, at the very least, $10,000 which I think contributes to the lack of career-esteem. I know I'm worth more but apparently my company doesn't think agree, so why bother.

I totally hear you on putting the casual in business casual. Yep, Right there with you. I have a few nice pieces but over all my wardrobe is lacking...a lot. And it doesn't help that I detest heels. I will not wear them except on special occasions or once in a blue moon to work. I normally kick my shoes off at my desk but I just can't handle having to walk around in uncomfortable shoes, nope, not happening.

And I can speak from experience on the "fake it till you make it" concept. It works in a lot of area's of one's life.

Crystal, I agree with Julia. I'd love to see some pics of the house on your blog. Bet it's going to rock when you guys get done!

Julia, OK what that hizzle is totes?









I've never been one to worry too much about my appearance. I mean, I like to look nice and presentable but nothing is or was getting my azz out of bed at 5am. I do agree that beauty and appearance standards are very interesting subjects and I'd love to see some of the art your talking about but for me it's more like what Crystal was saying, "Personally, I feel better when I look better." As much as I hate to admit it, that's so totally true and right now I'm all about feeling better, feeling more confident, feeling positive.


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## Who me?

I promise to get pics up tomorrow. Cross my heart.


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## Who me?

Oh, and I was the total opposite in HS. Out of bed, rumpled, cords and oversized t's. Can you say "invisible?" That was my disguise. I guess part of me dressing up as an adult (didn't today, for sure, too tired














is 1. me beleiving that putting some effort into myself is worth it 2. being comfortable NOT being invisible


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## Scribe

Totes=totally

I'm frustrated, because I feel like I've spent a ton of time and money trying to update my wardrobe in the past couple of months, and I STILL look sloppy!!


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## Who me?

I understand that feeling Grace. I used to shop and grab peices here and there that I liked but it never came together right.

What I do now is, there's one or two stores with clothes I really like, and since they put out stuff that's meant to coordinate, I powershop in only the one store. So I may only come out with one or two bottom peices and three tops, but they all mix and match really well. I think the other key is understanding your body type and what works. One thing I had to get used to was wearing more form-fitting clothes. I used to hide under ginormous stuff, but all that does is add "eye-pounds" and make you look frumpy. So I figured out what size I actually am, and started dressing that body, rather than the 4-sizes bigger I imagined myself. I learned that v-necks and collared shirts look way better than a scoop or round neck. I learned that it's better to pay a little more for good quality materials because they hang better and last longer. I learned that tapered legs on pants are a big no-no and pleats are just wrong. Oh, a properly-fitting bra is an absolute MUST, it's amazing how it can affect how your clothes fit/look (can you say, "gaping buttons at the bosom"?







: I also am a shameless watcher of "what not to wear". It's goofy, but the tips they have are really, really practical and useful.


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## jlutgendorf

Totes is short for totally. I picked it up in another forum and have become OBSESSED with it. So much so that Robert made me an xmas ornament that said Totes. Because he's nice and talented.

forgot the weight question! i swear somedays i don't know where my mind goes&#8230;

Anyway. I weigh myself when ever I think to at work. (we have a small scale for when we mail bigger boxes). We don't own a scale at home and i think that's a good thing.

Weight is another weird thing for me. Up until college was super skinny, like people asking me if I was anorexic skinny :eyeroll. (and now that I've met people who were, I wasn't nearly that thin!). But I just had a crazy metabolism and was decently active. In college I was on the swim team and I gain a bit of weight, but stayed fit by swimming 3 hours a day, 6 days a week! Since I've been out of college and have stopped all swimming type activities, gotten a desk job, etc. I've gained about 20 lbs. I'm not overweight at all, but my body is different that what I've lived with my whole life.

It's also weird, because I've always felt that women worry about their weight way too much. That it's some magical indicator of success and happiness. And I still feel that way, but now that I find myself weighing more (and wishing I didn't), I don't know how to get back in that mind set personally.

Thanks for writing about this Rachel, you've reminded me of a lot of topics I used to think about often, but that have been set aside lately.

~Julia


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## jlutgendorf

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Who, me?* 
I also am a shameless watcher of "what not to wear". It's goofy, but the tips they have are really, really practical and useful.









I love that show! And Stacey and Clinton. Though I don't like how the blonde lady is always trying to convince women that they should ALWAYS wear at least a little make up.


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## Who me?

You mean the blonde one who tries to put herself on the same plane as, say, Sting or Cher by only having one name?







:


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## jlutgendorf

Ha ha! Yes, what's her name… Carmandy? She's very talented, but dude, it is not a requirement that you can only look good when make-up-afied.


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## BurtsGirl

Crystal, I wish I had the problem of buying clothes too big but I understand what your saying. Especially this: "being comfortable NOT being invisible". I was an outgoing prep/jock in high school but after I graduated a lot of things changed. Actually it all kind of happened when I came out. ummm. Never linked all that stuff together...

I do the same thing as Crystal now. I shop at one store for my work pieces. It's expensive and I can normally only get a few pieces at a time but they are high quality and look great. As a plus-sized woman these two things are hard to find at the same time. I still have a lot more to get. It doesn't help that over the past few years I've gone up and down a range of sizes. Hard to collect clothing when you never know what damn size you're going to be this time.

Which brings me to the weight issue. Julia, you are so right! Most women do view their weight as a reflection of their level of success and happiness. I admit to falling into the category as well. It's a hard habit to break, believe me, but I'm trying. I think I'll ask DW if we can move the scale out of our bathroom.

and I am cracking up over "make-up-afied".


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## Who me?

Yeah, ditch the scale. It lies most of the time anyways. DW, for example, is 2 inches shorter than me, but weighs 15 lbs heavier than me, but wears a size smaller than me. Muscle mass, bone mass, water weight etc etc all play a big role. If you MUST measure something, use a tape measure. It will actually measure body fat, not random weights that fluctuate wildly depending what time of the month it is.

I'm interested in what you said about the effects of coming out on your self-image...am I reading it right that you had a harder time being "visible" AFTER you came out?


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## Who me?

ETA: I asked our admin assistant earlier today to pdf-if-fy a document for me


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## Scribe

So what are these stores you all buy all your work pieces at?

I've never really been a shrinking flower, so I don't think I'm trying to blend in or anything. I've just gotten so damn lazy about my appearance. And I used to think it was a depression-related thing, but I'm not depressed now and I'm slobby slobby slobby.


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## BurtsGirl

at PDF-if-fy because I think I've used that one myself.

And yea I had a rough coming out phase, at first. Mostly coming out to myself and realizing I was indeed in love with my best friend (which latter turned into a seven year relationship). Living in the south, I had prided myself on being a good bible thumper. I beat the shit (figuratively) out of myself for this "issue," this "sin" that wouldn't go away. I was still in high school and XP and I were dating in secret. I was scared shitless of people finding out. I totally recoiled into myself. XP was a grade ahead of me and when she graduated and went off to college my senior year I dropped out and started going at night instead. I was a starter in varsity volleyball and softball, I had reached my goal of being asked into the highest choral class in my school, and I was also in honors Drama, all things I loved so much and worked so hard for and gave up with that one decision. I still graduated with my class but I didn't have to face them until graduation day. In reality I wasn't running from their judgment, although it would have been painful, I was running from my own.

I no longer have that kind of shame anymore and have rectified my religion to reflect my true beliefs, which has helped, but it took a long, long, long time to get to that point. To really figure out what was happening, who I was, and where I fit in the world now. I've since connected with a lot of those people on facebook and it's been healing for me to come out in such a safe way.


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## BurtsGirl

Grace, I *heart* Lane Bryant. I love that I can go in there and buy really great looking clothes without much effort. For me, it's an emotional investment to walk into a store where I don't have to worry about them not carrying my size or trying on clothes that were made for a skinny person but are only sized up, cause those never look good on a fat-girl. I like that I can leave the store feeling good and confident instead of deflated and gross. So that's where I get most of my clothing from. It's not the most eco-minded store/option but it's one of my vices


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## Who me?

Grace, I *heart* Mexx right now. That's my fave for work gear.

Wow, Rachel, you really went through the ringer!








s: I can relate a bit on the religion front...while I personally had decided I was an atheist when I was about 16, I grew up in a very church-going, christian family, some more hardcore than others, and received less-than-christianly outporings of "ew, gross" and hell-speak and "why is god punishing me?" from some of them when I came out







It bothered me some, but they've all since gotten over it.

Otherwise, my experience was totally opposite. I was the invisible girl in HS, then figured out why all my crushes had been on women (duh) in first year university, gradually started coming out to family and friends over the next year...and it brought me totally out of my shell. Funny, in a way, it forced me to be less invisible, make myself heard, take chances and trust other people to like me for me, and let me be kind of like: "you don't like me? well tough cookies for you, I could care less" but in a more empowered way. Oh, and for some reason it gave me an excuse to peirce things and shave my head, but like, you know, that was a phase


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## BurtsGirl

Shut Up, Crystal, you shaved your head!!!! That totally rocks, sister!

When I came out to my mother the first thing she said was, "Well, you know your going to hell, right?." Ahhh that motherly love and comfort.


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## Scribe

I didn't come out, but I did shave my head...growing out here.


----------



## Who me?

Yeah my stepdad told me that's where I was headed too.









Yes, I shaved my head. A few times, actually. And died it blue, black, bleach blonde, fire engine red...apparently I equated "queer" to "LOOK AT ME"









Having a shaved head is fun. No hat hair, minimal consumption of hair products, and everybody wants to pet you.


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## BurtsGirl

Grace you look so much like Demi Moore from Ghost in that pic! Whoa!


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## Who me?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Scribe* 
I didn't come out, but I did shave my head...growing out here.

Um. Hi, hottie. I totally have a crush on you now.









Sigh, I'm a sucker for a cute girl with a shaved head


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## BurtsGirl

Crystal, you were totally (totes, for Julia) making up for lost time.


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## Who me?

You know what, Rachel? You're so right on. I totally, totally was.

Totes.


----------



## jlutgendorf

Aaaaaaaaaaahhh!







:

Totes!


----------



## Scribe

So as an experiment, I went all out today. Herringbone skirt, tights, heels, layered funky AND professional shirts, make-up. I look better, for sure, but I'm not sure I feel any more professional.

Two new cube decor items to report, both from World Market: a beaded string of fabric elephants (I actually have one just like it in my house), and a glass jar of bergamot scented shiny rocks. Things are definitely improving in here.


----------



## jlutgendorf

woot! Grace, I dreamed last night that your coffee thing broke and you/me were really pissed off. (we might have been the same person)

I don't think it means it will break though. More that I think those things are cool, but it would suck for them to break.

That is all.


----------



## BurtsGirl

I have on a long skirt today with a nice blouse. Jewelry includes (something I've also been working on) earrings, watch, and necklace. Tad of make up. I had some eye issues yesterday so I didn't wear much eye makeup today to see if that was what was irritating it. So far much better. But I still have a few makeup pieces to get. I am keeping it to 4 products max, tinted moisturizer (which I need to get, using a light foundation now), lip gloss, mascara. Done. I normally wear nothing so this is a big step for me. Question, can tinted moisturizer replace your regular moisturizer? I do feel more professional today but I think that's contributed more to the work I'm doing today as opposed to my appearance, although there is a little bigger bounce in my step and I do equate a little extra confidence with the attire. I decided to wear some chunky heels also.

Cube, still needs major work. I haven't done anything yet but it's a mess right now because I have been hooking up and unhooking hard drives, monitors, etc trying to get a new project all connected and off the ground.


----------



## jlutgendorf

Oh, also, I liked reading everyone's posts yesterday and I'm sorry that family members were crappy to you. haters. I had a friend, who when she came out, her father apparently broke down and kept wailing it was god's way of punishing him for divorcing her mom.










Talk about a drama whore, dude, it's not all about you!


----------



## BurtsGirl

Question for short skirt wearers, do you wear pantyhose under your short skirts when you wear them to work?


----------



## BurtsGirl

Thanks, J. I no longer have a relationship with my mother but that's for other reasons. I did have some family that embraced me in spite of my coming out, which was really cool. It wasn't a made for TV movie though.


----------



## Scribe

I wear tights in the winter, bare legs otherwise. Never, ever pantyhouse. But I don't wear skirts above mid-knee.

Rachel, I use tinted moisturizer instead of regular moisturizer in the morning. Works fine. I have been using Physician's Formula, but I think I'm going to upgrade to Smashbox. I have been using Smashbox primer and I love it.

I weighed myself today. I am back on Weight Watchers now. My highest ever weight is 223, I was at 218.5 this morning. After being down to 203 last fall. I'm so frustrated.


----------



## Who me?

Wow you gals are dolled up!







You're all gorgeous!







:

Today I made more of an effort, I've got on my fave grey pantsuit, with a blue/white/grey swirly-patterned-printed v-neck top underneath, and my fave killah hoochie boots.







Accessories are minimal, I've got only a beaded necklace. I would like more accessories.









I wear hose or tights most times with skirts, even in summer. But it really boils down to the shoes I'm wearing most of the time (some of my shoes are comfier if I have a little hose in there too, but my [email protected] shiny burgandy heels slip off unless I'm barefoot, soooooo.) I don't know about makeup, that's something I still haven't worked up to. I generally don't like foundation of any kind (every time I've ever had it applied professionally they try to hide my freckles, like they're BAD







:







I like them thankyouverymuch). I would happily do some eye makeup if I knew how, and I usually wear tinted lip gloss.








s Grace. Don't let the numbers get you down. Honestly, in the end they mean very little about your size or your health or your fitness.


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## BurtsGirl

I detest pantyhose also, which is why I stick to longer skirts, mostly flowing ankle-length ones.

I know so little about makeup really, mainly because I never wore it, not even in high school. It's been my observation that if you wear a lot of makeup all the time people get used to seeing you that way and when you decided not to wear it you look like crap in comparision. I also like to look special on dates and special events and if I always wear makeup then how else can I look special. idk, maybe that's just my sick thinking but I am embracing a _little_ makeup. And now the question, what the %&*# is primer?


----------



## BurtsGirl

Damn forgot to say something about the scale. Grace, throw it away and love what you are, sister. The up and down is ridiculous and will always be there. You might disagree but I find dieting pointless and miserable. No one can maintain long term. Sweets, you are freaking gorgeous!

Crystal, I need a picture of these hoochie boots, stat! Even a google picture would work!

We are some freaking hot as$ professionals today! Watch out! I think it's amusing that we all upped it a notch today, lol.

Back to makeup, Crystal, I feel that same way about foundation but after a little research it seems the tinted moisturizers aren't as bad as foundations and just help even out the skin tone. Grace, since your the one using it, is that right? Is it as light as these people are making it seem? And Crystal, freckles are sexy, you rock those freckles, girl!!

OK, going to lunch don't have too much awesome convo till I get back!


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## Scribe

Crystal, I know the number isn't important. But I've not taken care of myself at all recently, and that's where the number comes from. It's not healthy for me. It's time to change. And it's especially hard, because my new desk job has me munch munch munching.

Primer is something you use with mineral makeup. It's this light liquid you put on before anything else that makes it so there are no lines or irregularies for your makeup to go into. It's hard to explain, but it's wonderful. I've only recently started wearing makeup myself, so I'm learning, and someone recommended primer and I LOVE it.

I wear: primer, tinted foundation, concealer if needed, powder, bronzer, lip gloss.


----------



## Who me?

Oh, and I took a few hasty pics of The Schoolhouse today. They're crappy, blurry, and the rooms are messy, but you can get the idea. These will NOT go on my blog.









The house
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3020/...66e41b43af.jpg

view when you walk in (to do: finish patching walls, get couch for corner where bikes are currently stored, refinish floors and install baseboards/molding, replace hideous ceiling fan
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3468/...f05b89d221.jpg

view from the loft (to do: finish framing the woodstove tile, replace the mantle, more patching/sanding of huge window frames, get some badly needed art for giant walls)
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3463/...de79307792.jpg

Dining room (to do: replace 80's-er-ific light fixture, install french doors in pantry, curtains, new dining table set)
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3618/...6c4767d3_b.jpg

A cute nook that I like:
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3557/...c4e49c6e_b.jpg

spare bedroom (to do: lots)
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3295/...dbd074f0_b.jpg

downstairs bath (to do: replace 80's-er-ific toilet and sink, replace floor with nice tile)
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3628/...bd7c832b_b.jpg

kitchen (to do: finish touchup on refinished cabinets, replace 80's-er-ific laminate counter with tile, also tile backsplash)
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3478/...24f144bc10.jpg

wow. we have a lot left to do


----------



## Who me?

Grace I had the "stuck in cuble and snacking" issue this time last year (30 + lbs heavier). My real problem was that I wasn't packing a lunch, or not much of one. Now I pack a HUGE lunch the night before, so there's always food, but it's not a bag of chips or the giganto chocolate bar my coworker's selling for her kids.


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## jlutgendorf

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BurtsGirl* 
I detest pantyhose also, which is why I stick to longer skirts, mostly flowing ankle-length ones.

I know so little about makeup really, mainly because I never wore it, not even in high school. *It's been my observation that if you wear a lot of makeup all the time people get used to seeing you that way and when you decided not to wear it you look like crap in comparision*. I also like to look special on dates and special events and if I always wear makeup then how else can I look special. idk, maybe that's just my sick thinking but I am embracing a _little_ makeup. And now the question, what the %&*# is primer?

Bolded, exactly what I think, which is why I get pissed off at people that feel they/everyone MUST wear make-up everyday. It started when a girl in HS didn't wear her normal SUPER HEAVY make-up one day and I literally didn't recognize her at first, then when I did, I thought she looked just awful







and I was so sad that she was putting on so much make-up every day and so drastically changing how she looked. In hindsight, she probably looked awful because she wasn't feeling well, hence why she also didn't put any make-up on.

I do wear make-up for special occasions where I want to look fancy&#8230;which is really no different than people who wear it everyday for the same reason&#8230;So conflicted!









And I try to avoid pantyhose, because they're annoying. But all my skirts are right around knee length. I think i stopped wearing REALLY short skirts in college.


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## jlutgendorf

Crystal, your house is AMAZING! so beautiful! I'm *totes* jealous.

And that toilet is awesome. In a horrible 80s sort of way!









and you all type to fast!


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## BurtsGirl

Crystal! Your little school house is freakin awesome! I





















it! I totally didn't think it would look so good inside from the way you were talking but it kicks butt!

Off to google bronzer...


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## Scribe

It's just like blush, only it makes you look a little bit tan, rather than pink. I'm really pale, so it helps wake up my face a little bit.


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## BurtsGirl

You guys aren't going to believe this. Yesterday was a killer busy day at work as I was trying to get a new project off the ground. At the end of the day my Boss asked me to stop in her office before I left and guess what??? I got a bonus!!! I about fell on the floor. The company is on a freeze right now, no one is getting even a cost of living increase this year because of the economy. So to get a bonus is unheard of. I really feel so great and it was really much needed and overdue. I'm going to write a little more about my whole work issue/thoughts in my blog today at some point. I really feel like this is related to my shift in perspective.

Hope you hot professionals are doing good today.


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## Scribe

That's wonderful! Good for you! Congratulations! Hope you're going to do something fun with it!


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## BurtsGirl

Thanks, Grace. I took Terri out to a nice dinner last night to celebrate and I'm planning on getting that Nikon I've been coveting!


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## jlutgendorf

Sweet! how exciting!

I'm getting my hair cut today. i loooove getting my hair cut. I'm going to someone new (but that my friends have gone to) so here's hoping it turns out well.

Julia


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## Scribe

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BurtsGirl* 
Thanks, Grace. I took Terri out to a nice dinner last night to celebrate and I'm planning on getting that Nikon I've been coveting!

Awesome!!

I'm currently trying to wrap my head around the financial re-planning I need to do. New job situation means getting paid a different amount, in two installments a month instead of one, at different times. Which means all my direct pay bill stuff needs to be redone. But I can't get motivated to do it. And I don't 100% know how much the paychecks will be, either, so that complicates things. Dollars to donuts I end up overdrawing.


----------



## Who me?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BurtsGirl* 
You guys aren't going to believe this. Yesterday was a killer busy day at work as I was trying to get a new project off the ground. At the end of the day my Boss asked me to stop in her office before I left and guess what??? I got a bonus!!! I about fell on the floor. The company is on a freeze right now, no one is getting even a cost of living increase this year because of the economy. So to get a bonus is unheard of. I really feel so great and it was really much needed and overdue. I'm going to write a little more about my whole work issue/thoughts in my blog today at some point. I really feel like this is related to my shift in perspective.

Hope you hot professionals are doing good today.

Whoo-hoo!!!







: That's freakin' awesome! You deserve it!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jlutgendorf* 
Sweet! how exciting!

I'm getting my hair cut today. i loooove getting my hair cut. I'm going to someone new (but that my friends have gone to) so here's hoping it turns out well.

Julia

Yay! How fun! I finally got my hair cut too, last week, after about 4 months of growing it out.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *Scribe* 
Awesome!!

I'm currently trying to wrap my head around the financial re-planning I need to do. New job situation means getting paid a different amount, in two installments a month instead of one, at different times. Which means all my direct pay bill stuff needs to be redone. But I can't get motivated to do it. And I don't 100% know how much the paychecks will be, either, so that complicates things. Dollars to donuts I end up overdrawing.

Egad, yeah, that's ugly stuff. Poor DW does the majority of our planning, and I'm always switching jobs every 6 months or so. It's a royal pain in the butt.


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## Who me?

Oh yeah, I forgot...Obama's in town today!


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## BurtsGirl

I love financial planning, not sure why but I do!

Crystal, tell him I said Hi!

And I need a hair cut so bad!


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## jlutgendorf

Yeah, my hair is scary. i got it cut in October I think. I like to go a long time between cuts so that I get a drastic change!

Grace, can you move a bit extra from savings over to cover you? I've been such a slacker with our finances lately. i don't know why either. when i slack, things go bad, when i'm on top of it, things go ok. it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out&#8230;


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## Scribe

Yeah, I can. I'm just trying to figure out how to best re-structure the bill paying to meet my bi-monthly pay schedule. I am used to getting paid on the 1st, and now I will get paid on like the 20thish and the 9thish or something.

I wonder about putting all of our bills on CC, in order to get rewards and so nothing ever bounces. Has anybody here done that? Paying the CC off every month, obviously.


----------



## Who me?

We've never tried the CC route, and I don't think it would be a good one for us...we're now down to not keeping a balance on the CC at all, we can't be trusted with CCs







DW uses Quicken to help keep track of things, and it seems to work really well, it lets her reprogram/move stuff around when our situation changes.


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## BurtsGirl

I've thought about the CC thing. But like Crystal, it's just too easy not to pay the balance at the end of the month. I hate having a balance on my CC. It's like paying 15% extra for something and paying that amount every month. It sounds good in theory but unless your really going to stay on top of it, it's really not worth it. I've also read that unless you put around $15,000 or more on it a year even the annual fee isn't worth the $300 plane ticket. Do some googling on it Grace, and if you decided to go that route I'd love to hear how it works out. I love the concept but it's the practice that scare me.


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## BurtsGirl

Terri is going out of town tonight for work so I might treat myself to a hair cut and dinner.


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## Who me?

yay, a "self-date"!







:


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## Scribe

Unlike all of you, I absolutely loathe having my hair cut. It gives me the heebie-jeebies. Hence my very shaggy hair.

Ug. It is hard to sit in a cube all day and not just eat, eat, eat. I'm chewing gum and drinking water, but it's not helping much. Hopefully things will get easier when I get my fancy coffee pot. It shipped today!

Just looked at finances. What a mess. I just want to send it all to someone and have them plan it for me so I don't have to think about it.


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## jlutgendorf

we could never pay our bills on the CC. We are just so irresponsible with them. I'm trying to get Robert to see that we really need to have less of them as well, but he's being stuborn.

oh and hair cut and nice dinner sounds wonderful! that reminds me, tonight is "Date Night!"


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## BurtsGirl

Grace, what is so different about the cube than an office that's provoking the eating frenzy? I've never worked in an office before so I'm not sure what the difference would be. Could it just be emotionally related to the new position, new people, new responsibilities?


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## BurtsGirl

Julia, where are you guys going?


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## Scribe

Honestly, Rachel, I think the only real difference is access to coffee. I don't have any coffee here except the cup I bring with me in the morning. At my old job, drinking coffee all day helped keep me from eating.


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## jlutgendorf

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Scribe* 
Just looked at finances. What a mess. I just want to send it all to someone and have them plan it for me so I don't have to think about it.

What might help, (and what i do when i have my act together) is to draw out (or print out or use an online version) a generic calendar. Then i write in when all the bills are due and when we get paid. for some reason, it's way easier for me to see what needs to cover what that way. Hopefully then you can just take that and login to your bill pay and change dates.

But I'm also really visual and i like drawing things&#8230;so ymmv.

and you must give us a review of your coffee thingy (that's the technical term, btw). We've thought about getting one for the studio, especially if we end up having people over more for photo shoots.

~Julia


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## jlutgendorf

I don't know yet. We're trying to go out to places we have coupons or gift certs for. and a lot of it depends on how tired we are and how fancy the place is. or how late they stay open. lots of times we don't get around to going out to eat until like 10 or 11.









We haven't had sushi in awhile&#8230;


----------



## Scribe

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jlutgendorf* 
What might help, (and what i do when i have my act together) is to draw out (or print out or use an online version) a generic calendar. Then i write in when all the bills are due and when we get paid. for some reason, it's way easier for me to see what needs to cover what that way. Hopefully then you can just take that and login to your bill pay and change dates.

This is a really good idea. I'm going to try it on Google calender. Good call.


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## jlutgendorf

oh yeah, I did one of mine on google calendar. it's awesome because you can color code, which makes it even more pretty (and useful).


----------



## Who me?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Scribe* 
Honestly, Rachel, I think the only real difference is access to coffee. I don't have any coffee here except the cup I bring with me in the morning. At my old job, drinking coffee all day helped keep me from eating.

aak! You don't want to not eat, lovely! It's totally counter-productive. You don't eat, your body starves, it hangs onto every last fat cell it can find because it thinks its a time of famine. You want to eat every 2-3 hours, it'll ramp up your metabolism bigtime. I soooo used to do exactly what you're doing now, just try to pretend I'm not hungry, drink coffee all day and then usually end up bingeing because I WAS hungry dangit! You need to invest in a big, friendly cooler and start packing food. Seriously I eat all day. I'm eating right now, in fact.


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## BurtsGirl

Grace, that makes more sense then. Hope that coffee pot gets to you asap!

Julia, we're also late eaters, though it's normally around 9pm that we eat.

So I've decided to get the hair cut today and take a long bath. And I'm thinking of going for a massage tomorrow. Man, I am loving thy self!


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## Scribe

PSA: The Dark Chocolate and Dried Cherry Kashi Chewy Granola Bar RULES.

Now then...

Anybody have exciting weekend plans? I do not.


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## BurtsGirl

That _SOUNDS_ yummy!

You guys, I'm so excited! I just found out we can deduct our sperm cost, fertility treatments, and acupuncture on the taxes this year. With all the money we spent TTC I'm so glad that we'll get at least a little of that back. It's really helping me feel some closure, finally. I've taken a personal day today and have been calling around to the sperm bank and RE, etc to get receipts. I'm loving the turbo tax! Deductions are so lurverly!

Weekend. Well I didn't get the hair cut last night because they couldn't fit me in so I'm doing it today along with a massage. I've decided not to get the camera and to instead get my massage/hair cut and update my wardrobe a little more then put the rest in savings or toward bills. Hopefully, if we end up getting a lot more than we planned from our taxes I'll get it then.

Sat we're doing the 5 course beer dinner, so Grace if you wanna just hop on over you can join us. Sunday we'll relax and probably just hang out at home.


----------



## Who me?

OMG that sounds goooooood









No, nothing exciting here. Trip to the vet for HRH Boo, grocery shopping, probably more painting to finish up the work we started last weekend, and possibly a visit to see the Local Nephew.


----------



## Who me?

Um. I like beer dinners too...


----------



## Scribe

If I could, I'd totally be there. That sounds like a great time.

Instead, I think we might have a grill party with our neighbors (they had us to dinner last weekend), our closest friends and their two kids, and a guy from Mark's lab. We have to clean house first, though.

And Sunday I am settling in for the Oscars. I really want to go to the Alamo Drafthouse Oscar Party, but not alone.


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## jlutgendorf

dooooood. i forgot the beer dinner is this weekend. so. jealous.

Your personal day sounds so nice! I'm totes jealous. and how awesome that you can deduct those things. I need to get our taxes in order. i also need my boss to give us our W2s! dammit!

No real weekend plans here. Work in the yard if the weather is nice enough. try to work in the house if it's not. Hopefully i'll get my freakin' period! She's like 10 days late and i'm crampy and grumpy as hell.







: RAR! Is how i feel.

This make two extra long cycles in a row. I have no idea if that's normal or not.

~Julia


----------



## Who me?

I wonder if we can get any of our Project Baby costs back here???? Hmmmmm....something to look into... thanks for sharing, Rachel!


----------



## jlutgendorf

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Who, me?* 
aak! You don't want to not eat, lovely! It's totally counter-productive. You don't eat, your body starves, it hangs onto every last fat cell it can find because it thinks its a time of famine. You want to eat every 2-3 hours, it'll ramp up your metabolism bigtime. I soooo used to do exactly what you're doing now, just try to pretend I'm not hungry, drink coffee all day and then usually end up bingeing because I WAS hungry dangit! You need to invest in a big, friendly cooler and start packing food. Seriously I eat all day. I'm eating right now, in fact.










Hey Crystal, i meant to ask you about this earlier. can you expound a bit? I assume that while you're eating often, it's not stuff like chips and hotdogs? And do eat smaller meals then for the main 3?







:


----------



## Who me?

It's best for your body to eat about 5-6 smaller meals a day. And yeah, it's better to have frequent smaller meals, and not to have huge carb-heavy meals at dinner time, and not too late (try not to eat within 2 hours of bedtime)...think lean protein and veggies (although carbs like sweet potato, brown rice, quinoa, are all good things).

I still sort of have my "main three", at least in my mind, but really other than breakfast and dinner it's just constant grazing. Here's what I'd usually have in a day:

7am, at home: unsweetened hot cereal (oatmeal or cracked wheat cereal) with cinnamon, raisins and slivered almonds

Packed for my lunch, snacking pretty much every 2 hours starting from 9am:

-cheese string
- 1-2 peices of fruit (apple/orange)
- small whole wheat wrap with deli meat (turkey or roast beef usually), mustard, cucumber, salad greens and pickle, maybe a bit of cheese (like an oz)
-a bunch of chopped veggies with a little low-fat dip
- handfull of unsalted nuts (walnuts, soy nuts or almonds) and dried crandberries
- small portion of leftover casserole/whatever from last night (about a cup usually)...today it was turkey meatloaf

6-7pm, dinner at home: usually a serving of stew, casserole, pasta etc from the freezer plus a salad and/or steamed veggies. I do batch cooking on sundays, usually one or two things, so there's always homemade, nutritious food in the freezer for weeknights.

Now, the times up there are approximate, I really just graze on what I pack all day (eating cheese and orange right now, hee). I always eat breakfast though, and I always make sure I get a few servings of protein during the day. Other things I might pack for the workday: homemade protein bars, boiled eggs, ready-to-head seasoned tuna steaks, soup, yogurt, hummus, cottage cheese, etc. Some days I pack more than what I listed above, but the servings aren't huge.

If I don't eat all this, I get cranky and starving and wasted by 2pm. Now, the actual serving size would vary depending on your caloric needs, but by fueling your body all day, you keep your insulin levels steady, don't get blood sugar swings, your metabolism is cranking all day.

big thing: avoid white food (white flour, refined sugar, white rice, white potatoes). Substitute with brown rice, whole grain pastas, grains like quinoa or couscous, whole wheat flour.


----------



## Scribe

Wow. I need to eat more like that. This is my current eating schedule (more or less):

7:15 am: Wake up, eat nothing.

8:30 am: Drink coffee with half and half.

9:30 am: Realize I am ravenous, eat granola bar.

11:00 am: Start to get really hungry for lunch.

Noon: Go to lunch. Try to make healthy choice. End up giving in and munching on Chick fil A.

2:00 pm: Start really wanting a snack.

2:03 pm: Give in and start munching whatever is available, including chocolates, Girl Scout cookies, crackers, more granola bars, Little Debbie cakes, etc. Possibly wash down with full-sugar soda.

5:30 pm: Get hold from work. Have a glass of wine. Try not to think about snacking.

5:34 pm: Have a snack, probably chips, pita chips and hummus, or similar.

5:45 pm: Have another glass of wine.

6:00 pm: Have another snack, if I am not too disgusted with myself.

Later: May or may not eat dinner. May or may not have more wine.

The one thing I do well is that I don't eat late at night.


----------



## Scribe

Oh, Rachel, I wanted you to know I'm stealing your idea. Turns out my candles in wine glasses were too fragile to ship (they shattered), so I'm going to do some in baby food jars this weekend.


----------



## jlutgendorf

Wow! Thank you for that list. I might need to print that out so I can put it on the fridge.

We're trying to start eating less processed food and less white carbs or unnecessary carbs (like a side of bread with everything&#8230.

Thanks!


----------



## Who me?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Scribe* 
Wow. I need to eat more like that. This is my current eating schedule (more or less):

7:15 am: Wake up, eat nothing.

8:30 am: Drink coffee with half and half.

9:30 am: Realize I am ravenous, eat granola bar.

11:00 am: Start to get really hungry for lunch.

Noon: Go to lunch. Try to make healthy choice. End up giving in and munching on Chick fil A.

2:00 pm: Start really wanting a snack.

2:03 pm: Give in and start munching whatever is available, including chocolates, Girl Scout cookies, crackers, more granola bars, Little Debbie cakes, etc. Possibly wash down with full-sugar soda.

5:30 pm: Get hold from work. Have a glass of wine. Try not to think about snacking.

5:34 pm: Have a snack, probably chips, pita chips and hummus, or similar.

5:45 pm: Have another glass of wine.

6:00 pm: Have another snack, if I am not too disgusted with myself.

Later: May or may not eat dinner. May or may not have more wine.

The one thing I do well is that I don't eat late at night.

aak! aak! aak! (Sorry, DW and I have been doing too much reading about nutrition lately, that totally brings out the "aaks" in me!!!) That said, again, this was me a year ago. Ooooh, lordy, girl you are STARVING yourself!!!

Ok. I'm giving you homework. Baby steps.

1. Please, PLEASE eat breakfast. Doesn't have to be fancy. Have it with your coffee. Two peices of ww toast with natural nut butter, and a hard boiled egg (you can make up a dozen of these at a time, they'll keep for breaky and lunches all week). Hot cereal with chopped nuts (my trick for making sure I get it in? Before bed, measure out the the dry ingredients into a bowl and the water into a cup. Place in cupboard next to microwave. In morning, pour, stir, heat, eat.) Smoothie with fruit and protein powder. You will wake up your metabolism right away and won't be super-starving later.

2. Get a fancy 1 litre water bottle, fill it up when you come into the office and be sure to empty it by the end of the day.

That's it. Start small.

I will admit right away that for the first few months of changing our eating habits, it got soooooo tired. Like, I was sick of having to think about food, plan food, etc. I think I had a few temper-tantrums about it actually. The truth is, though, it requires some planning. The GOOD news is, once you get in the habit (and I can honestly say I'm there now), it's second nature, you DON'T have to think, and you can't imagine doing it differently). Treat yourself to a funky insulated lunch box (big one) and some snazzy tuperware containers. It's funner to make lunches if you're packaging it in fun stuff.


----------



## jlutgendorf

I'll study along with grace, if you don't mind!


----------



## Who me?

Please do!







:


----------



## Scribe

OK, Crystal, you just become diet guru. And I have a question. Is it OK to wait until I get to work to eat breakfast, or do I need to do it immediately?


----------



## Who me?

I know some people can't stomach eating right away. The honest answer is, "the sooner the better", but the practical answer is: "as soon as is reasonably possible so at work is ok". Baby steps. Try to get some complex carbs (whole grains) and protein at the same meal. Me, I love breakfast, so this is an easy one for me. DW struggled with it though. She became a smoothie junkie on weekdays, and I try to cook a nice breakfast for her on the weekends.


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## jlutgendorf

explain this whole protein powder/shake thingy. We sometimes have smoothies of yogurt/bananas/strawberries/ice and sometimes honey.

I'm trying to be a better breakfast person, but really weird things appeal to me at breakfast (like brownies and a coke!







).


----------



## Who me?

The protein powder thing is simply to try to get more protein into you. Most women consume vastly inadequate amounts of protein (average woman should get about 40-50 grams a day but if you're working out regularly with weights, it's more like 1g/pound of healthy body weight) and way too many simple carbs. Basically you'd replace some or all of the yogurt with protein powder. Probably less sugar, and way more protein. Protein makes you feel fuller longer. It helps your body grow lean muscle, which burns fat. Breaking it down uses up more energy and generates more heat (therefore burning more calories - metabolism again) than breaking down carbs. It even releases chemical signals that tell your body you're full, faster, so you might eat less.

That said, if you're having a low-fat yogurt smoothie with around a cup of fruit, that's a very reasonable substitute as long as you're getting adequate protein during the day.


----------



## Who me?

Honestly, Grace/Julia, it might not be a bad idea to see a nutritionist...it's really hard to slog through all this stuff on your own and can be helpful to have someone lay out a written plan of attack to cut down on the guesswork until you get the hang of it...


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## BurtsGirl

I am all mushy from my massage. WOWZA what a way to start the weekend! sigh.

Grace, yes steal the baby food jar idea. We boght like 50 used, cleaned, delabeled jars off ebay for cheap and put spice rubs in it for xmas gifts one year. I had some left over. I haven't burned the candles yet but I think they will definitely hold up through shipping.

Julia, could you be pregnant? Have you tested?

Crystal, that's impressive. I finally met someone who knows more about dieting than I do. Wow. I agree with everything you've said so far. I do breakfast at work also, Grace. Just some oatmeal and fruit or cereal or sometimes we make egg mcmuffins at home on ww english muffins and freeze them to reheat at work, very tasty.

And now I'm going to drink wine and figure out what to eat tonight. I need to bake my peacan tart for the party tomorrow. Wanna hear the menu? I assume you all would

1st Course - Appetizer
Pesto Mushrooms
Beer: Some sort of ale I think, can't remember.

2nd Course - Salad
Sweet Baby Arugula Salad with dried cherries, candied pecans, and blue cheese drizzled with raspberry dressing
Beer: Leinenliugel's Berry Weiss. (this seriously tastes like a wine cooler, it's weird)

3rd Course - Soup
Cheddar Cheese Soup with crème fraîche and crumbled bacon
Beer: RJ Rocker's Patriot Ale

4th Course - Main
Buffalo Steak grilled to prefection
Smashed potatos
Steamed broccoli
Beer: Highland's Oatmeal Porter

5th Course - Dessert
Pecan Tart w/ Vanilla Bean ice cream
Beer: Duck Rabbit's Milk Stout

We're doing mini portions for those thinking about dieting and all,







:


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## jlutgendorf

WOW! I am so impressed (and now hungry!). You have to tell us how it goes. And how do you prepare for that, do you make things ahead of time? We always run behind when have people over since we get off work so late.

And I'm pretty sure i'm not knocked up, my lovely pre-period cramping is starting to come on strong, meaning it should be here any day. It'd be damn near close to immaculate if I was!







We've been improving on being more, ah, *familiar*. But haven't solved the pain issue and I haven't psyched myself up enough yet to attempt the, uh, full act. (hows that for talking around the UA?).

Thanks for edumatating us about food Crystal! How does one find a nutritionist? Not sure if I could afford one anyway, but I'm curious.


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## BurtsGirl

First, we are major foodies and I am not just using the term lightly. Second, we'll have all day Sat to prep. Guest are coming around 6:30pm. I'll make the peacan tart way ahead of time. We'll make the soup, minus the toppings before they come. We'll through together the salad minus the dressing before hand, and the apps will also be finished before hand. So the only real cooking we'll need to do is the steaks and potatoes which we'll start cooking between courses. 5 courses is a lot this will probably be a two hour meal.


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## Scribe

That sounds fantastic! Wow! I really wish I could be there. The pairings sound spot-on, too.

I have a hazelnut brown ale from home I've been saving that I plan to drink this weekend.


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## Who me?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BurtsGirl* 
I am all mushy from my massage. WOWZA what a way to start the weekend! sigh.

Grace, yes steal the baby food jar idea. We boght like 50 used, cleaned, delabeled jars off ebay for cheap and put spice rubs in it for xmas gifts one year. I had some left over. I haven't burned the candles yet but I think they will definitely hold up through shipping.

Julia, could you be pregnant? Have you tested?

Crystal, that's impressive. I finally met someone who knows more about dieting than I do. Wow. I agree with everything you've said so far. I do breakfast at work also, Grace. Just some oatmeal and fruit or cereal or sometimes we make egg mcmuffins at home on ww english muffins and freeze them to reheat at work, very tasty.

And now I'm going to drink wine and figure out what to eat tonight. I need to bake my peacan tart for the party tomorrow. Wanna hear the menu? I assume you all would

1st Course - Appetizer
Pesto Mushrooms
Beer: Some sort of ale I think, can't remember.

2nd Course - Salad
Sweet Baby Arugula Salad with dried cherries, candied pecans, and blue cheese drizzled with raspberry dressing
Beer: Leinenliugel's Berry Weiss. (this seriously tastes like a wine cooler, it's weird)

3rd Course - Soup
Cheddar Cheese Soup with crème fraîche and crumbled bacon
Beer: RJ Rocker's Patriot Ale

4th Course - Main
Buffalo Steak grilled to prefection
Smashed potatos
Steamed broccoli
Beer: Highland's Oatmeal Porter

5th Course - Dessert
Pecan Tart w/ Vanilla Bean ice cream
Beer: Duck Rabbit's Milk Stout

We're doing mini portions for those thinking about dieting and all,







:

*droooooool* yummy!!!


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## BurtsGirl

It went so well also. I have some images up on my blog. We had a great time and our firends did also. Sunday we laid around the house and did nothing but watch TV and a movie. So, great weekend in my opinion. How was everyone elses?


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## jlutgendorf

I loved your photos Rachel! Sounds like you had an awesome weekend!

Ours was pretty good. Got something done, didn't get other's done, but overall, it was relaxed, which is nice.

oooo! and Robert got to invoice a client for pretty nice amount and we paid off two small credit cards because of it! That was exciting. Now hopefully we'll either cancel one of them or at least cut it up so we can't be tempted to use it. The other is Care Credit, which can only be used for things like Vet visits, dentists, etc. So we'll keep that around for animal emergencies.

~Julia


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## Scribe

I saw your blog. It looked fantastic. I am jealous!

We had a good weekend. Take-out with our friends Friday night; got quite a bit done on Saturday, included very much needed grocery shopping, and also watched two movies; went to breakfast with Mark, watched a football match, hung out with my friend S., and watched the Oscars yesterday. Very nice all the way around.

And I have added new cube decor this morning--my awesome calendar came, so I have that up, and I brought in my Jar of Whimsies for something fun to look at.


----------



## Who me?

Pretty "normal" for us...vet trip to recheck the cat's mouth (she had teeth removed last week)...groceries...pet food prep...I made a nice oven roast and super-awesome-yummy chicken breasts stuffed with feta, ham and spinach with a Greek-esque marinade...watched some boob toob...put the finishing touches on my letter to possible PhD supervisors...sanded the door to the spare bedroom (now ready for priming)...busy.

DW is home today "sick"...apparently she's started moving our furniture into the spare room, which is going to be our new bedroom while we work on the "real" bedroom. She's coveting new bedroom furniture, and I'm not really stopping her.


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## BurtsGirl

Yay for Robert! It always feels so good to get paid for doing what you love. It also kind of feels like your scamming someone because it should be illegal to get paid for what you love, lol. Bet it felt even better to get some CCD's paid off! Woo Hoo!

Grace, yay for Jar of Whimsies! Are you going to give us some before and after action? I've put up my artwork, cleaned up a little but I still have some things I'm going to do this week. I'm hoping by Friday to have a before and after shot for you guys. It already looks and feels so much better!

Also, Grace any word on the big move? Have you guys decided where you're moving and when?

Crystal, I think you need to have a weekly freezer post on your blog something like _From the Freezer Fridays_, where you'll share some of these amazing freezer recipes, how you package them for the freezer, and how you reheat. I for one would LOVE to get some of these recipes!


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## Scribe

Oh, I didn't tell you all! I'm sorry.

We are going to Virginia. In late summer/early fall.


----------



## Who me?

How are you feeling about it, Grace?


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## Scribe

Eh. It isn't my first choice, but it's the right thing to do. I'll live.


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## Who me?

I kinda got that sense when there were no







: or







or







in your post.









Poor, poor spouses of students. My wife really has noooo idea what she's getting into.


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## BurtsGirl

ONNN the bright side though, you'll be within easy driving distance of Julia and I!! So I'll spread the







: for you.


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## jlutgendorf

You will be closer to us! What part of Virginia? I don't know much about the state, other than Robert has a client who owns a house museum somewhere up there. That's probably not helpful!


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## Scribe

Northern. About an hour from D.C.


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## Who me?

I am sick. I'm tired, my throat is scratchy, and I'm all cramped-feeling from sleeping on the couch 'cause I'm a nice wife and didn't want to disturb my beloved's sleep with my coughing.







And I have to travel out of province tomorrow. Waah.


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## Scribe

Oh that sucks. I'm sorry. I've been so healthy recently, I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop...


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## Scribe

Tiny Shiny Things jars.


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## BurtsGirl

Blah, Crystal, that does sucks. I hope you are feeling better tomorrow, zicam is your friend.

How's everyone else doing today?

Terri had to go back out of town today and tomorrow. I'll be glad when this job is over. I'm planning to finish up my taxes, watch a movie, and heat up some leftovers tonight.


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## jlutgendorf

I'm sorry you're sick Crystal! That sucks. My period finally came. finally. so now i'm crampy, but it's tolerable (yay for naproxen!).

Grace, I love your jars, so cute! If you had space to display them, it would be really neat to do a set where each jar is just one color, and then display them all in a rainbow or some other nice color palate.


----------



## Who me?

Got an email back from one of the profs I contacted...it starts like this:

"Dear C,

Thank you for your well-worded e-mail, and your CV and publications. It is very nice to be approached by well organized and clearly very capable potential students such as yourself."

I have to settle down a bit then read the rest of it, but it's good.


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## Scribe

That's a good idea, Julia, but I'm not keeping them. I have the original Jar of Whimsies I bought at the bins in my cube, but the ones I am making are going out into the world for swaps and gifts. That's half the fun, IMO--sharing my shiny tiny treasures with other people.


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## Scribe

OH! My Keurig came and I am in LOVE!!! It makes good coffee with no mess, no effort, and almost no sound. 8 oz at a time! Seriously, it is the perfect cubicle companion. I don't know how I lived this long w/o it.


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## jlutgendorf

That's a cool idea Grace! I don't know if you're familiar with Archie McPhee (a "weird stuff" company in Seattle). but they used to sell "mystery boxes", which were full of the weirdest things. I loved them because you didn't know what you would get and then we'd use all the strange things and make found art sculptures







.


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## jlutgendorf

oh and congrats Crystal! You have to let us know what the rest of the letter says.

I'm off to google your coffee thingy Grace. Our friends have a nespresso, but apparently you can only buy the pods online.


----------



## Who me?

http://falltoclimb.blogspot.com/2009/02/one-down.html

The jist of it is, he may have an opening, we need to talk about funding 'cause he doesn't have much money for students and wants to know what I've applied for, has interesting work to do and wants to discuss things with me further.

The only thing that worries me is the money issue. I just fired off an email to one of his current students to find out what the deal is there.


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## BurtsGirl

Crystal, what great news and I loved that he commented on your thought out, organized email! Keep us updated on where this goes. I'll be crossing my fingers and toes and anything else I got for you!

Julia, Yay for the period _FINALLY_ getting there. Hope you're coming down off your hormone high. I'm sure Robert is so glad it's here also,







.

Grace, Yay for cube coffee!


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## Scribe

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jlutgendorf* 
I'm off to google your coffee thingy Grace. Our friends have a nespresso, but apparently you can only buy the pods online.

From what I understand, what I bought is a step up from Nespresso. The pods (K-cups) are available everywhere--there are even a few types at Target.

This is the one I have.

Crystal, I think you're sadly going to find that everybody is in a funding crunch right now. At least that is what I'm seeing.


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## texasnurse3

I love the idea of this tribe! I just wanted to interject a quick hello. I'm new to MDC and just stumbled across this tribe today.

So are those coffee thingies worth the money? I always saw the commercials and thought that they look like a genius way for the company to keep making money, since it appears to me that you can only buy their coffee. But then I pretty much only drink coffee at work since it's free. I love coffee, but I love saving money, too.


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## Scribe

Welcome!

For any other situation, it wouldn't be worth the money for me. At home, I use a French Press. But at work I needed something that didn't create any mess and only made one cup at a time, so this is perfect. And it's definitely worth $80 for me to have coffee available in my cube, since I don't have another source of it at work unless I go out and buy it, at $2+ each cup.


----------



## Who me?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Scribe* 

Crystal, I think you're sadly going to find that everybody is in a funding crunch right now. At least that is what I'm seeing.

I kinda figured that would be the case. I was just surprised to see him basically say he had NO money to contribute. TAship, sure, but no research dollars. Oh wells.

Have a good one guys, travelling tomorrow, but will try to stop by anyways.

*waves at new gal*


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## BurtsGirl

Stay safe on your trip, Crystal.

texasnurse3


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## Scribe

OK dudes, today's conundrum:

I want to re-open Crushworthy. I miss it. But I have to do it differently, so that it gives me as much joy as stress. I think the way to go is going to be to only list products that are already made. But how feasible is that as a business model? And do I still need to do the shop re-vamp and packaging re-vamp stuff I was thinking/talking about before? Can I just be low-key and still sell, or is that a bad idea?

Also, should I add Tiny Shiny Things jars to the shop?

Gah. Why do I always have so many projects at once!?


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## jlutgendorf

Welcome texasnurse3. Do you own and kitties? (asking because of your kitty smilie)

Grace, I think you should totes do it! I like the idea of only selling what you've made. I think it's fine for a business model, depending on what your business goals are. I'm hearing that you like making these things and making some money from them, but (currently) it's ok to not become rich off them? So that makes sense that you can create as you have time and inclination.

I don't think you would need to worry as much about packaging if you want to stay low key. Again, if you're making these as you feel like it, you have time to thrift for containers, etc. You might still consider working to upgrade the photos, just because those help with sales.

And def. include the Tiny Shiny Things. Those are awesome. And you can go in so many different directions with these. A general misc. jar. themed jars. jars of a particular color&#8230;For these, I might make a label that goes on the front of the jar. Something you can run off on your printer as you need them.

~Julia


----------



## Scribe

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jlutgendorf* 
And def. include the Tiny Shiny Things. Those are awesome. And you can go in so many different directions with these. A general misc. jar. themed jars. jars of a particular color&#8230;For these, I might make a label that goes on the front of the jar. Something you can run off on your printer as you need them.

Does "I might" mean you might?? I'd still love to get some Julia label-design...







And I will be happy to compensate in product...

I think I will. Now I need to decide what to pre-make to get things running again...I am so sick of making those darn shaving kits!


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## BurtsGirl

Grace, I agree with Julia. Selling only the stuff that's aready made will put you in control of how many orders you get instead of getting overwhelmed. It will also allow you to make only what you want to make, when you have time to make it. And I also agree on adding the Shiny Things, too cute.


----------



## jlutgendorf

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Scribe* 
Does "I might" mean you might?? I'd still love to get some Julia label-design...







And I will be happy to compensate in product...

I think I will. Now I need to decide what to pre-make to get things running again...I am so sick of making those darn shaving kits!

Of course it does!







:

That will be a really fun label as well! I think labels for the TSTs would have more of a vintage/retro/distressed look to them, since the items inside are all thrifted. What do you think?

Aaaaaaand&#8230;maybe if you had just one generic Crushworthy label. Something to just get your logo on those things that can have a label on them. Let me think about that. Or actually, tell me what it is you'd most like to make and how it's generally packaged.


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## Scribe

Well, I think the things I'll make up to start with are sugar scrub, which is packaged in thrifted jars, and bath melts, which I need to figure out packaging for, but are currently in cellophane bags..

I think a distressed/vintage label would be perfect for the TSTs.


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## jlutgendorf

Do you think that a small circle lable could fit on most of the jars you find? And could you close the celophane bag with one? Also, do you have a ink jet or laser printer? And when you use the sugar scrub, do you tend to keep it in the shower?

I'm asking because I've got a salt scrub my mom sent me and the lady's labels were done on an ink jet and got all gross and runny in the shower. Didn't hurt the scrub or the shower or anything, but looked gross.

What size are the ikea jars that you use for the TSTs?


----------



## Scribe

I think a small circle would definitely work for both. I have an ink jet printer, and yes, most people keep their sugar scrub in the shower, so that is an issue.

The TST jars are 32 oz.


----------



## Scribe

Diet guru Crystal? If I post my eats for the last couple of days, willl you help me troubleshoot? OPhuleese?


----------



## BurtsGirl

I think Crystal is out of town today. I'm excited about the possiblity of being able to buy more bath stuff from you!


----------



## Scribe

OK, I'm posting anyway, so maybe everyone can help.

Also, Rachel, you can always buy stuff from me. I'm happy to do custom orders for friends. Anytime.

This is my last few days:

Saturday
Breakfast: coffee w/ half and half; oatmeal w/ brown sugar
Lunch: chicken fried rice
Dinner: taco salad (lettuce, beans, salsa, sour cream); apple;
Snacks: pita chips & hummus; rum&Pepsi
Points: 28.5/28

Sunday
Breakfast: coffee w/ half and half; veggie omelette; ww toast w/ jam; fruit cup
Lunch: salad with fruit and garbanzo beans w/ ranch
Dinner: salmon and roasted vegetables
Snacks: rum&Pepsi
Points: 35.5/28

Monday
Breakfast: coffee w/ half and half; banana
Lunch: Panda Express steamed rice and orange chicken
Dinner: taco salad like Saturday's w/ avocado
Snacks: Thin Mints; milk chocolate & caramel candies; apple
Points: 42.5/28

Tuesday
Breakfast: blach coffee; Kashi granola bar
Lunch: Moe's chicken taco salad w/ no shell or cheese
Dinner: small piece of steak and salad w/ goat cheese and pears
Snacks: Little Debbie cakes
Points: 22.5/28

So far today
Breakfast: black coffee; Kashi granola bar; Pringles snack pack; chocolates (just two)
Lunch: grocery store Chef salad w/ creamy Italian dressing
15/28


----------



## BurtsGirl

I got no help but I am loving the classification of rum/pepsi as a snack.







:


----------



## jlutgendorf

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Scribe* 
I think a small circle would definitely work for both. I have an ink jet printer, and yes, most people keep their sugar scrub in the shower, so that is an issue.

The TST jars are 32 oz.

Ok, let me think about the sugar scrub thing. Like I said, it's not the end of the world, it just doesn't look good (to me).

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Scribe* 
OK, I'm posting anyway, so maybe everyone can help.

Also, Rachel, you can always buy stuff from me. I'm happy to do custom orders for friends. Anytime.

This is my last few days:

Saturday
Breakfast: coffee w/ half and half; oatmeal w/ brown sugar
Lunch: chicken fried rice
Dinner: taco salad (lettuce, beans, salsa, sour cream); apple;
Snacks: pita chips & hummus; rum&Pepsi
Points: 28.5/28

Sunday
Breakfast: coffee w/ half and half; veggie omelette; ww toast w/ jam; fruit cup
Lunch: salad with fruit and garbanzo beans w/ ranch
Dinner: salmon and roasted vegetables
Snacks: rum&Pepsi
Points: 35.5/28

Monday
Breakfast: coffee w/ half and half; banana
Lunch: Panda Express steamed rice and orange chicken
Dinner: taco salad like Saturday's w/ avocado
Snacks: Thin Mints; milk chocolate & caramel candies; apple
Points: 42.5/28

Tuesday
Breakfast: blach coffee; Kashi granola bar
Lunch: Moe's chicken taco salad w/ no shell or cheese
Dinner: small piece of steak and salad w/ goat cheese and pears
Snacks: Little Debbie cakes
Points: 22.5/28

So far today
Breakfast: black coffee; Kashi granola bar; Pringles snack pack; chocolates (just two)
Lunch: grocery store Chef salad w/ creamy Italian dressing
15/28

I am not a food expert, but it seems like from your list vs what Crystal posted last week, that you've got more "pre-made" type foods and less whole foods like veggies, fruits, nuts, etc. Though that's mainly with just the lunches and breakfasts.

And your breakfasts look too small. I never eat enough for breakfast either. it's too hard!







:

I'm impressed you can remember all of what you ate!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BurtsGirl* 
I got no help but I am loving the classification of rum/pepsi as a snack.







:

Mine is currently an amaretto sour!







:

In totally unrelated news, I completely forgot that Robert's dad was having surgery today for bladder cancer! We haven't been able to get him to tell us the full story, but after talking with drs. it seems he had at least two tumors in his bladder that grew up around some stones. And it seems he's probably had this for quite some time. They don't know if the cancer has spread to the muscle around his bladder or not, so I guess we'll find out.

He came out of the surgery and was apparently in good spirits, poking the female nurses in the butt and winking at them. Lovely.







They seemed to think this was hilarious coming from an 80 year old man. I can only hope it was at least party due to him being on pain killers.

AND. because we are INSANE. we're probably going to take their dog, Izzy and keep her for a couple months to train her better and/or rehome her for them. She's a SWEET 8-9 month old Cockapoo.







They bought her a few weeks after their bichon/poodle mix died. She was probably not more than 6 weeks old (if that) and she's just too much for them to handle. They live in a town house and both aren't as mobile anymore, so she hasn't been fully house trained. Plus she's just got that puppy energy and it's hard for them to keep up with.

So wish us luck. And patience. And sanity. At least Keira and Aggie already know her and like her. That's a plus, right?


----------



## Scribe

OMG. I've been there. You're going to need patience like saints, but I'm sure you can do it.

I don't remember--I enter everything in to WW as I go, so I just coped it from there.

I'm working on adding more fruits and veggies. It may not look like it, but I am actually making progress. I need to stop eating chocolates and cookies and stuff just because they are around, though. If I really really want them, that's one thing, but I am eating them just because they are here.


----------



## texasnurse3

Julia, I do have a kitty. He's a 5-yr-old solid gray short-hair, and he is my baby. He waits in the window by my front door for me to come home and wakes me up on my days off when he decides I've been sleeping (not paying attention to him) for too long.









Scribe, what are the Tiny Shiny Things? I've never been crafty and am in awe of people who are.
Julia had a good point about the pre-made foods, too.


----------



## Scribe

Hehe. I am only marginally crafty. I can't actually DO anything (sew, knit, embroider, etc.). But I like to put stuff together.

You can see/read about TSTs here.

Y'all, I DESPERATELY need to get a hold on my new financial situation and make a budget and a plan, but I just can't make myself do it...


----------



## Scribe

Oh! Rachel, have you tried any of your candles yet? I really want to hear how they work.


----------



## BurtsGirl

Julia, so sorry to here about Roberts dad. I hope everything works out. I also will be sending you some paitent







: for the new little gal. Can we get a picture so we can awe over her?

Texas, don't listen to Grace, she's really very crafty. She makes some fabulously luxerious bath products. I'm continually amazed by her creativity.

Grace, Make a meeting with yourself. Block out some time to sit down and do your budget. Get motivation from blogs, goals, or future plans. Think about some of your financial goals and how you'll feel when you meet them. Day dream about them for a few minutes. You've come so far to back slide now, sister. Find what motivated you before and go to that place.

I haven't tried the candles yet but I might get to them this weekend. I was supposed to save them for our March 25th anniversary but I doubt I'll be able to wait that long.


----------



## Scribe

It's not even lack of motivation to meet my goals as much as it is complication/confusion, you know? I don't have a good handle on how much I make/when I get it/how that corresponds to bills. I made a huge credit card payment as soon as I got my first paycheck, and then proceeded to realize I didn't have enough money in my checking account to make it until the next paycheck. It's stupid stuff like that I need to figure out how to deal with. I can't believe I haven't just done it, but I am blocked against it somehow.


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## jlutgendorf

Ugh. we had too much vodka and cranberry juice last night. damn you cranberries for masking the taste of the vodka!

No pup yet, we'll be picking her up today. I think Robert's dad is going to be upset. he doesn't know about this yet, but he has known that Louise (his wife) has been wanting to rehome her. I'll def. post pictures of her. She's a funny looking dog.


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## jlutgendorf

Well, the pup is here! She's kind of freaked out, but overall is doing well. She needs to be groomed and loose some weight. And of course the training! She's doing ok in her new crate. She's not happy about it, but the barkscreaming has been kept to a minimum. It sucks though, she's super stressed and won't take any treats, so I haven't been able to find something yummy and awesome to put in her crate with her.

Her and Aggie are getting along well, they played together this morning. Kiera, interestingly enough, has been "putting her in her place". So far her only interest has been to roll her over and sniff her, and if she hasn't rolled over, Keira has made her. Very interesting. We don't let Keira get rough with her, but we're also mainly just staying out of it and letting them work it out.

We need to get her a collar and leash as she didn't have one, that will help with training a ton. For now I've just been making a slip noose with one of our leashes, but that's not a good permanent solution.

Keep sending me dog vibes!

What are people's plans for the weekend?


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## Scribe

My good dog vibes are headed your way. What's the size difference between her and Kiera? Age?

I don't really have any weekend plans. I think I'm going to try to get some of my always too-long to-do list done. I just got some supplies in, so I am going to try to make some stuff to re-stock the shop so I can re-open it. Suggestions and requests welcome!


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## jlutgendorf

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Scribe* 
My good dog vibes are headed your way. What's the size difference between her and Kiera? Age?

I don't really have any weekend plans. I think I'm going to try to get some of my always too-long to-do list done. I just got some supplies in, so I am going to try to make some stuff to re-stock the shop so I can re-open it. Suggestions and requests welcome!

Izzy is around 10-11 lbs, Keira is around 45-50 lbs. So a big difference in size. Keira is almost 2, and I think Izzy is around 10 months, so a pretty big difference in age as well.

Izzy's soft and submissive, I think that made the difference (as Kiera is normally quite the weenie herself). Plus we had to do the intro in the front yard, which isn't neutral ground. There was no fighting, just Kiera being pushy. And I get paranoid with the size difference, though Keira is really good with Aggie, who's 8 lbs.

For your shop, I've been meaning to ask if you know of/can make anything for really sensitive skin? I like to take frou frou baths, but most store type bubble baths are too irritating to the "private bits" thanks to the vestibulitis.







: But I don't know what it is that's irritating (ingredients, scents, chemicals, the fact that my vagina hates me&#8230.

And I'm super fascinated by bath bombs. though I've never tried one out.


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## jlutgendorf

Oh, and I'm still thinking/researching things for your labels! I'll send you an email in the next day or so.


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## Scribe

I didn't know you had vestibulitis. I'm sorry.

But yes, I think I can. Since there are no preservatives, dyes, colors, etc., in my stuff, it should likely be a lot less irritating. Tell me what kinds of things you enjoy and I'll try to send you some samples, maybe?


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## jlutgendorf

Exciting! um&#8230;I like more herbal scents, rosemary, sage, those kind of things. Oh and Robert loves lavendar (i think he likes frou frou bath things more than me!).

oh, i also love anything with cinnamon. you know that apple spice type scent that comes out around xmas?


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## jlutgendorf

Raaaaaaachelllll&#8230;

Cryyyyyyystallll&#8230;


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## BurtsGirl

LOL @ julia.
I'm here. I just had a chance to catch up. I'm up to my eyeballs in work but it's calming down a bit now. I was at least able to go grab some lunch and I shoveling some Mcnuggets down my throat. So glad everyone is getting along. I'm interested to see how the weekend goes. Youll have to update us,J.

Weekend-since Terri's been out of town I think we're just going to stay around the house. Tomorrow we're volunteering at the Humane Society for a bit, then might go catch a movie. Sun we're going over to my dad's for dinner. He's supposed to have back surgery Mon so we want to spend a little time with him.


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## jlutgendorf

Quote:


Originally Posted by *texasnurse3* 
Julia, I do have a kitty. He's a 5-yr-old solid gray short-hair, and he is my baby. He waits in the window by my front door for me to come home and wakes me up on my days off when he decides I've been sleeping (not paying attention to him) for too long.









Scribe, what are the Tiny Shiny Things? I've never been crafty and am in awe of people who are.
Julia had a good point about the pre-made foods, too.

I have three kitties! Any photos of your boy? He sounds purty.


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## Scribe

Speaking of kitties, here is a funny photo of 2/3 of mine. I cannot believe how big Illy is now. She weighed 4 lbs when she found us!


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## jlutgendorf

awwww…Illy is so beautiful! She has grown a lot! I remember a photo you posted of her when she first showed up. She was a different cat!


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## texasnurse3

By bath bombs, do you mean those little balls that fizz like crazy when you drop them in the water? I've used them a few times. I think they bring out the little kid in me cuz I like to watch them bob and bounce around under the water.









I don't have many good pictures my kitty uploaded to photobucket, but here's a few:
http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p...s/DSCN0818.jpg
http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p...s/DSCN0931.jpg
And here he is "hiding"
http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p...s/DSCN0991.jpg


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## jlutgendorf

Aw, Texas, he's so cute!







I love the snow pic.

Quick Izzy update: Just ran home to let her out, no accidents in the crate, she pee'd outside and even took a few treats!







:

Keira only rolled her a few times outside and ignored her inside. Now to get a collar and leash and work on some manners!


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## texasnurse3

Thanks









That's fantastic about Izzy, sounds like she's already settling in!


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## BurtsGirl

texas, your kitty look EXACTLY like my Ashley (who now lives with my ex). If she, the ex, didn't have such an adversion to the internet I'd be asking your realy name, LOL.


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## texasnurse3

Lol


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## BurtsGirl

Wow, we got dumped on with snow last night. Julia, I assume you got some of this also. We got about 5-6 inches at our house! Today we're both out of work. I'll post some pics tomorrow.


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## jlutgendorf

Yup! lots of snow here as well! It was so much fun, the dogs loved it!







:

Here's some of our photos: http://eyeonlinemedia.smugmug.com/ga...83228177_NSDGQ

Here's one of my favorites: http://eyeonlinemedia.smugmug.com/ph..._7WRov-M-1.jpg

I wish we didn't have to go to work! We were late, as we had to wait a bit for our street to thaw out and not be icy, but now I'm here. (boooo.)


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## jlutgendorf

oh, I also like this one, because it makes our "backyard" look nice and forrestly. Instead of trashy and weedy like it really is.

http://eyeonlinemedia.smugmug.com/ph..._jNNTe-M-1.jpg


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## Scribe

Wow, you guys did get some storm. We got nothin'.

Julia, what types of bath stuff do you prefer? I.e. salts, scrubs, melts, bombs, bubbles...gotta give me a place to start.


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## Scribe

LMAO at Aggie's sherpa coat!


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## jlutgendorf

Ummm&#8230;I'd love something for bubble baths. And I'd like to try some bath bombs as well. And what's a bath melt?

Isn't her coat so cute. I love it. She also loves to wear it (which is good as she get's cold easily). Keira has a coat as well, but she's pretty cold tollerant. She ended her day by rolling around in the snow and digging herself a "bed". What noodles.


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## jlutgendorf

How's everyone? I think Robert and I are having a mini quarter life crisis. Life seems very complicated and hard today. Good times!

I think we're going to re-evaluate many things.

Oh, and in the shower this morning, I was wondering how everyone met their current partners?

~Julia


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## Scribe

Want to talk more about the crisis, Julia? I definitely had a quarter life crisis, so I can relate.

Mark and I went to college together. We were in the same dorm my freshman (his sophomore) year. But we were just friends for years and didn't start dating until after we had both graduated. He moved (back) across the country to be with me. It was very dramatic.


----------



## BurtsGirl

Julia you're pics are so adorable! I hope everything is ok with you and Robert. If you need an ear. I'm here.

How we met:
Terri and I have an interesting story. We met online when we were both partnered to other people. She was living in NC and I was here in SC. We emailed back and forth for a long time just as friends. When she moved back to SC we lost touch and never met in real life.
Fast foreword about 4 years after my X and I broke up and I met Terri's best friend for some drinks. I wasn't really interested in her but the feelings weren't mutual. She really dug me. We hung out as friends for a few weeks and then she wanted me to met her best friend, thinking I'd really like her.

One evening I got a call and it was the best friend asking me if I remembered <insert Terri's screen name>. I have a horrible memory and it was just barely ringing a bell. She said we had emailed for a long time and it started to come back to me. She was over at Terri's house at that point and asked if i'd come over. I wasn't really in the mood but then Terri grabbed the phone and said she'd waited long enough to meet me and to get my butt over there now. I had to oblige. We met and hung out as friends for about 3 months before things started to turn noticeably romantic.


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## jlutgendorf

Those are cute stories! Our's is kind of funny as well. I was still in college and was studying at the local coffee shop. They had one wall that was a long bar with lots of mirrors on it, and I saw this person sitting behind me had this GORGEOUS long hair. Like Pantene comercial hair. So pretty. At the time, I had blue hair (two colors of blue, it was cool). So Robert came up to me and said "I just wanted to say that I really like your hair." and I said "omg, I love YOUR hair!"

Then he left (turns out he really did leave and his friend talked him into going back and talking to me again) and then came back and got my email address. We went on a few dates and then just never stopped. It's funny that I ended up with a person I met randomly, as I was always (and still am) a big believer in starting relationships as friends first.

On another topic, quarter-life crisis. I think it's cumulation of lots of little things, that are managable on their own, but are overwhelming when put together. As I told Robert this morning, I think we need a Life Make Over.

We own too much stuff, so the house is always a wreck.

We're both unhappy with our jobs (and our boss is unhappy and I'm not sure the business will survive).

Robert has a bunch of health issues that aren't "bad enough" for the drs to try and figure them out.

Money is tight (though this is one area we are seeing improvement).

I think we're going to rehome our birds. They're getting just a minimum of care and are starting to get wild again. It makes me feel awful, I've never rehomed a non-foster animal. But my feeling bad is no excuse for them to live in the best possible home.

Actually, I think ALL of us (people, pets, house, cars, jobs, etc) are currently just getting a minimum of care. And that makes me sad.

And in general, I think we're both just depressed from all of the above. Which SUCKS because when we get home, we're tired and don't want to do anything. In fact, just thinking about it makes me want to crawl in bed and hide. But I know I need to find the energy and motivation to work through these things and deal with them. Sigh.

So, sorry to be a downer! Everything just sort of was clamoring for space in my brain at the same time today, and I just thought "enough! this is crazy to live like this. what's wrong with us!"


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## jlutgendorf

Also, I think I'm feeling like a failure, job wise. Like, this is it?! I'm smart, and educated and talented. And this is all I'm doing. Blah.


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## BurtsGirl

Julia, that's some tough stuff. I'd really encourage you to sit down with Robert and take one thing at a time. Work on one goal at a time. You can't fix everything overnight all at once but maybe start with the one that's driving you both insane the most. Some might even be connected like the jobs and money issues. Make a list of the issues you both have, then set goals, steps, and timelines for resolving them together. Then take the steps you've lined out together.

Another approach could be taking everything and divide it into weeks. Such as Jobs, Money, Health, Personl and Pet Care. Write down what you'd like to improve in these categories and how and what you both need to do to achieve that. Then give them a week. First week of the month is focused on Jobs, the second week, money and so on. For example neither of you are enjoying your work. Maybe the first week you read a career development book, or talk to your friends to see what they think you'd be good at, or look at the classifieds. You have all week to perform whatever task you assigned for that week and next week you move on to something different. Keeping each other accountable or using a friend if needed.

Those are just some ideas, Julia. I know it's so much easier said than done and I'm not in the situation but I wanted to throw something out there for you.

Speaking of jobs, I'm really looking into some career development stuff. I signed up for a networking lunch next week for people in my industry. Those normally aren't my thing but I'm trying to take steps that will open some opportunities for me and the lunch and seminar does sound interesting. So to my question. Have any of you read any career development books? If so, do you recommend them or not?

Another issues I'm having is whether or not I want to use my company's business card or print my own generic ones. Right now I'm just hoping to meet some new people and see what's out there. I would consider taking on a couple of side jobs (freelance style) eventually but not right now. So what do you think? Company cards or make my own? And if I make my own what info needs to be included?


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## BurtsGirl

PS. Sorry for the book-post


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## Scribe

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jlutgendorf* 
Also, I think I'm feeling like a failure, job wise. Like, this is it?! I'm smart, and educated and talented. And this is all I'm doing. Blah.

This was at the heart of my quarter life crisis as well. I felt like given all of my education and my natural abilities, I should have figured out what I wanted to do by now, and it should be something IMPORTANT, dammit. I don't know quite what to tell you about how to fight it, but for me, it came down to realizing that a) I can do important things without having them be my work; and b) I still do have lots of time to decide if I want to do something else. Eventually, I came upon something sort of like a plan, and I am sort of implimenting it, but the biggest thing for me was realizing that not having a big important job doesn't make me any less of an intelligent person, and it doesn't mean my education was wasted.


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## jlutgendorf

Thanks for the thoughts guys. I like your ideas Rachel. I think if we can declutter the house, so it's easier to take care of and nicer to relax in (so even if we are stressed when we come home, at least home isn't stressful).

We have vague plans for some of the other areas, it's just a matter of getting to work.

Grace, I think you're right. I was one of those nerdy "smart kids" in school, and I guess I feel I'm not living up to the smart kid label







Though why I think I have to is also a mystery&#8230;


----------



## Who me?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jlutgendorf* 
Cryyyyyyystallll&#8230;

I'm here *cough cough*...but I'm sooooooo sick. Another cold from hedoublehockeysticks. *sniff* *phlegm* *gag* Blech. OMG.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jlutgendorf* 
Oh, and in the shower this morning, I was wondering how everyone met their current partners?

~Julia

I was working in a vet clinic and DW was a fairly regular client. Her golden, Shaya, had terminal kidney disease, so they were both in a lot. Actually, the FIRST time we met, I was working at a paint-your-own ceramics joint and she came in with a group of gals for a party. I was immediately smitten and struck dumb with shyness. I don't think I said 2 words to her.

Fast-forward about 7 months to the vet clinic. My coworker and roommate had been telling me that there was this really cute/nice woman who she thought would be a good match for me. Then one day, who should walk in but adorable-ceramic-shop girl, and as I ran to hide in the pharmacy, my coworker/roommate was like, "that's the one I was telling you about!". I endured several weeks of god-awful teasing from my coworkers, managed a few stammered conversations with her over the counter, and then one day she called me at work and asked me to go on a dog-walking date with her and Shaya. Shaya passed away a few months later, but she was what brought us together initially. I guess it's no surprise that we're buried in dogs now. That was over 6 years ago.









I love all your stories, gals!









Quote:


Originally Posted by *jlutgendorf* 
On another topic, quarter-life crisis. I think it's cumulation of lots of little things, that are managable on their own, but are overwhelming when put together. As I told Robert this morning, I think we need a Life Make Over.

We own too much stuff, so the house is always a wreck.

We're both unhappy with our jobs (and our boss is unhappy and I'm not sure the business will survive).

Robert has a bunch of health issues that aren't "bad enough" for the drs to try and figure them out.

Money is tight (though this is one area we are seeing improvement).

I think we're going to rehome our birds. They're getting just a minimum of care and are starting to get wild again. It makes me feel awful, I've never rehomed a non-foster animal. But my feeling bad is no excuse for them to live in the best possible home.

Actually, I think ALL of us (people, pets, house, cars, jobs, etc) are currently just getting a minimum of care. And that makes me sad.

And in general, I think we're both just depressed from all of the above. Which SUCKS because when we get home, we're tired and don't want to do anything. In fact, just thinking about it makes me want to crawl in bed and hide. But I know I need to find the energy and motivation to work through these things and deal with them. Sigh.

So, sorry to be a downer! Everything just sort of was clamoring for space in my brain at the same time today, and I just thought "enough! this is crazy to live like this. what's wrong with us!"









s That's totes a lot to deal with all at once, I can see why you're overwhelmed. I'm not sure what to say/suggest, but I can say that I've been at least partway there before, and it can/does get better...lean on eachother and pick a few manageable baby steps you can work on together. Money is definitely a biggie...in fact almost a relationship-breaker at one point...but once we got it under control and on a system, it was a major boost/cloud-lifter.


----------



## jlutgendorf

I'm sorry you're sick! Boooo to the sick germs. (and I laughed when I saw you wrote totes







)

Last night was better, Robert made a ton of dog food and I did a bunch of laundry and went through some clothes and came up with about a bag and a half to donate (I even got Robert to donate THREE t-shirts!














.

I'm just trying to stay motivated and not get overwhelmed by apathy. That's when things start to get really bad. It was nice to be able to type out all of what was frustrating me though. And it also made me realize that I need to get my portfolio and resume together soon. I know things aren't going well for my company, I just don't know *how* not well.

And I have a client who is pissing me off. They want us to comp the work and because of that, they think they can ask for 11ty billion things. and they are just super disorganized, so i'm making redundant changes. And they want everything finished by Thursday, but they won't finalize the art&#8230;







:


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## jlutgendorf

Oh Grace, I meant to ask, what's the plan you've got for yourself? If you don't mind sharing.


----------



## Scribe

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jlutgendorf* 
Oh Grace, I meant to ask, what's the plan you've got for yourself? If you don't mind sharing.

Well, once I started really thinking about it, I realized that the things I really want in a job are flexibility, variety, the ability to work at my own pace, and independence. This led me to decide that the best option for me would be to work towards being my own boss and doing professional/techincal writing contract work. So I am building my resume to be able to do that in the future, with the goal being that by the time Mark is ready for a professorship (i.e. when Mark becomes a steady income earner who can get benefits for me) I will strike out on my own.


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## jlutgendorf

Nice plan! That's an interesting way to look at, what do you want from any job, rather than just trying to find a different job/career, etc.

Oh, and Rachel, I didn't address your networking questions. Mainly because I don't know much about networking!









In terms of biz cards, if you don't want to do freelance work right now, I don't think I'd hand our personal cards unless you're ok with saying no to people right now. But, the worry with a company biz card is people contacting you there for personal reasons. I don't know if that would be ok. But at my company, there's just the one phone line and my boss gets a copy of all my emails, so I wouldn't want her to get personal stuff.


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## jlutgendorf

And I feel the need to share that I just totes wiped out at work. I wear danskos with a thick sole and if I don't step right, it's easy to twist my ankle. Well, I did just that and totally biffed it. In front of Robert and my boss and our friend Katie who was visiting. I scared the dogs and busted up a large laminated map. And i think I'm going to have a huge bruise on thigh where I landed hardest. and maybe on the ankle I twisted. ouch.

and of course i feel like a huge ass









sooooo emabarasing&#8230;maybe I need to find a different brand of "good for my feet" shoes. Since these aren't good for the rest of me


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## Scribe

I always have that problem with clogs! They're too far from the ground for me!

I think it's really helpful to change the focus from "what do I want to be when I grow up" to "what elements do I need in a job to be happy?" Made a world of difference to me.


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## BurtsGirl

Crystal, I was channeling you this weekend. Terri and I made tons of food for our freezer! YUM! Hope you get to feeling better.

Julia, I'm glad last night was better for you guys. I know writting out my thoughts always helps me more than I realize. I always have so much going on in my head that if I didn't write it out, I'd drown myself with my own thoughts. Thanks for commenting on the networking thing. It's new to me also. I think I'm going to stick with my company cards for now. I have my own direct line and getting personal email every once in a while isn't a major offense here.

Oh and I had to laugh, just a little, over your fall. I'm glad your alright and hope that bruise doesn't get too bad. It sounds like something I do, which is why I giggled a little.

Grace, what great advice. I think this:

Quote:

I think it's really helpful to change the focus from "what do I want to be when I grow up" to "what elements do I need in a job to be happy?"
in particular is just genius! It freaks me out sometimes just how close we are to dealing with the same issues at the same time.

I just had a huge burden lifted off me. The only person I've shared this with is Terri because I didn't want it to be real. During my annual physicals I always ask to have my thyroid and blood sugar tested because of family issues. Last year they called me to tell me my blood sugar was on the high side and I needed to be careful. Basically anything over 126 is diabetic but they like to see it below 100. My was around 108. So for the last 6 months or better I've been freaking out about maybe having diabeties. I finally worked up the nerve to ask a co-worker to check me on her meter and it was a very low 89. So, I'm in the clear! I can't tell you how much better that made me feel! YAY! I still need to watch it because of my weight issue and sweet tooth but at least I can quit googling every possible symptom I have to see if its related to diabeties.


----------



## Scribe

That's great, Rachel! Health scares are the worst.

Are you overweight? I think maybe you've mentioned it, but you don't look to be in photos.

My big news this week is that my cousin had her baby. Over 10 lbs, 3 weeks late, homebirth! He's healthy and she's doing fine (lots of stitches, but otherwise fine). I believe they have named him Ryder.


----------



## BurtsGirl

Geesh yes, I'm overweight. By about 60 pounds or so. I haven't weighted since my last scare.

Wow 10lbs. That does not sound pleasant. But glad everyone is healthy and happy!

You guys got any good weekend plans in the works?

We're pretty certain we're going hiking and camping this weekend. Yep. Snow last weekend and in the 70's this weekend. It's nuts but we're taking advantage of it!


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## jlutgendorf

Great news Rachel! I know how scary that must have been. For the test you got a 108, was it fasting? I had a dr. order a bunch of tests and not tell me they were supposed to be fasting. I came back with borderline high cholesterol at 25! She said "those results are&#8230;ok" and left it at that. I freaked out until I found out that a nonfasting test was pretty useless. So I found a new dr!

And it's totes ok you giggled at my fall, the funnier it is, the less I'm embarrassed. No bruising, but my ankle and thigh are sore! I'm going to have to start shoe scouting and saving up my monies.

Things with Izzy are going well. She's been groomed (and looks a ton better). She's eating now and playing with the other dogs. She's still a little scared/submissive of Keira, but I think that's ok for a puppy to defer to an older dog like that. It was pretty funny yesterday, all three dogs walked in to work with Robert and they were playing in the dog pen in back. I guess that Keira and Izzy got to worked up because they pissed Aggie off and she spanked them both! It was hilarious to see this 8 lb pug snarling at these two bigger dogs and they both hit the ground SO FAST!









She's still submissive peeing if her bladder isn't empty, but I'm getting better at getting her outside fast. And the barkscreaming in her crate is FINALLY starting to die down.

It's looking like Robert's Dad and Louise probably won't be taking her back (and I think that's a good thing, she's just too young and fast for them). So we're starting to ask around to our friends. Sadly, most of them already have at least two dogs!







There's a really nice rescue here that will take in the occasional surrender, so I might talk to them as well.

How's everyone else day going so far?


----------



## jlutgendorf

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Scribe* 
That's great, Rachel! Health scares are the worst.

Are you overweight? I think maybe you've mentioned it, but you don't look to be in photos.

My big news this week is that my cousin had her baby. Over 10 lbs, 3 weeks late, homebirth! He's healthy and she's doing fine (lots of stitches, but otherwise fine). I believe they have named him Ryder.

Congrats to your cousin! Is it just me, or does it seem like babies are getting bigger and bigger? My friend's baby was over 8 lbs and she's barely 5'3". When she was born, I think she was just under 5 lbs and her parents are both on the high end of 5 feet tall. Crazy!


----------



## Scribe

I think Ryder was especially big b/c he was really overdue, but he comes from big people, too.









Day is going OK. I'm contending with an allergy headache, which I don't like, but I am also feeling exceptionally cute today, which helps. I'm dressed nicely and makeup does me a world of good. I'm down 5 or 6 lbs, too, which I like. So no complaints.

No real weekend plans--we are taking an extra foster dog Saturday overnight, just in between other fosters. Huey has to go to the vet. I may go and visit our former foster, Belle. But nothing major. I'm going to continue to attempt to get the shop re-opened. Julia is designing me the MOST AWESOME labels, and I finally found a packaging option that I like and ordered a bunch of containers.


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## jlutgendorf

What kind of foster dog? Another beagle?

Sounds like you're looking foxy today! You guys are all inspiring me to dress less like a slacker.

ooo and send me a link to the packaging you found. Is it for the bath stuff or the TST? Either way it gives me a good idea of how to finish up the labels.

No set weekend plans either. The weather is going to be AMAZING. I'm hoping we can get some good work done on the house and maybe pawn the dogs off on our friends (who have two dogs and a fenced in yard!) so they can run around for an hour or more.


----------



## Scribe

Yep, another beagle. Always beagles.









Wanna help me choose perfumes to try? I need to narrow this to six:

Blood Kiss (Lush, creamy vanilla and the honey of the sweetest kiss smeared with the vital throb of husky clove, swollen red cherries, but darkened with the vampiric sensuality of vetiver, soporific poppy and blood red wine, and a skin-light pulse of feral musk.)

Mata Hari (five roses with soft jasmine, warmed by vanilla, fig, tonka bean and mahogany, spiced with a drop of coffee bean.)

Voodoo (myrrh, patchouli, vetiver, lime, vanilla, pine, almond and clove)

Twilight (Lavender and jasmine, with a touch of glowing honeysuckle.)

Black Dahlia (Voluptuous magnolias strewn over orchid, star jasmine, black amber and smoky rose)

Defututa (Olive blossom, honey, smoky vanilla, cinnamon, jasmine, sandalwood, and champaca flower)

Jezebel (honey, roses, orange blossom and sandalwood)

Lolita (heliotrope, honeysuckle, orange blossom and lemon verbena)

Catherine (sinful blend of orange blossom, rosemary and rose)

Hell's Belle (Oleander with wet, sweet mandarin, lush magnolia, a rush of deep musk and a touch of spice)

Hellcat (hazelnut, buttercream, honey mead, rum and sweet almond)

Alice (Milk and honey with rose, carnation and bergamot)

Bengal (skin musk with honey, peppers, clove, cinnamon bark and ginger)

Eden (fig leaf, fig fruit, honeyed almond milk, toasted coconut and sandalwood)

New Orleans (Sweet honeysuckle and jasmine with a hint of lemon and spice)

Eos (softly glowing skin, jasmine, buttercup and honeysuckle)

Eros (Myrrh, lilac, and honey wine with crimson tea leaf and sweet resins)

Eve (Apple blossom, rose, ylang ylang and golden honey)

Persephone (Pomegranate and rose)

Sophia (lavender, soft musks, star jasmine, black rose, delphinium, and gentle spice)

Bat-Woman (Ratkirani, calla lily, moonflower, honeysuckle, night-blooming jasmine, French lavender, verbena, grey amber and nighttime air)

Antonino, the Carny Talker (White musk, wild plum, vetiver, black coconut, verbena, fig, and lavender)

The Grindhouse (Florentine iris, red musk, mimosa, magnolia, Damascus rose, clove, and vanilla bean)


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## jlutgendorf

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Scribe* 
Yep, another beagle. Always beagles.









Wanna help me choose perfumes to try? I need to narrow this to six:

Blood Kiss (Lush, creamy vanilla and the honey of the sweetest kiss smeared with the vital throb of husky clove, swollen red cherries, but darkened with the vampiric sensuality of vetiver, soporific poppy and blood red wine, and a skin-light pulse of feral musk.)

Mata Hari (five roses with soft jasmine, warmed by vanilla, fig, tonka bean and mahogany, spiced with a drop of coffee bean.)

*Voodoo (myrrh, patchouli, vetiver, lime, vanilla, pine, almond and clove)

Twilight (Lavender and jasmine, with a touch of glowing honeysuckle.)*

Black Dahlia (Voluptuous magnolias strewn over orchid, star jasmine, black amber and smoky rose)

Defututa (Olive blossom, honey, smoky vanilla, cinnamon, jasmine, sandalwood, and champaca flower)

Jezebel (honey, roses, orange blossom and sandalwood)

*Lolita (heliotrope, honeysuckle, orange blossom and lemon verbena)*

Catherine (sinful blend of orange blossom, rosemary and rose)

Hell's Belle (Oleander with wet, sweet mandarin, lush magnolia, a rush of deep musk and a touch of spice)

*Hellcat (hazelnut, buttercream, honey mead, rum and sweet almond)

Alice (Milk and honey with rose, carnation and bergamot)*

Bengal (skin musk with honey, peppers, clove, cinnamon bark and ginger)

Eden (fig leaf, fig fruit, honeyed almond milk, toasted coconut and sandalwood)

*New Orleans (Sweet honeysuckle and jasmine with a hint of lemon and spice)*

*Eos (softly glowing skin, jasmine, buttercup and honeysuckle)*

*Eros (Myrrh, lilac, and honey wine with crimson tea leaf and sweet resins)*

*Eve (Apple blossom, rose, ylang ylang and golden honey)*

*Persephone (Pomegranate and rose)*

*Sophia (lavender, soft musks, star jasmine, black rose, delphinium, and gentle spice)*

*Bat-Woman (Ratkirani, calla lily, moonflower, honeysuckle, night-blooming jasmine, French lavender, verbena, grey amber and nighttime air)*

Antonino, the Carny Talker (White musk, wild plum, vetiver, black coconut, verbena, fig, and lavender)

*The Grindhouse (Florentine iris, red musk, mimosa, magnolia, Damascus rose, clove, and vanilla bean)*

That's a lot of perfume. Where are you getting them from? I bolded the ones that sound good to me. Though sometimes musks are too&#8230;musky? This list is reminding me that I like jasmine a lot. I hope ours will have survived the winter here.

Oh and that first description cracked me up!


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## BurtsGirl

:


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## jlutgendorf

hmmm&#8230;

Yes, you have the right to be upset about it. But no, obviously you can't control who is friends with who.

I've got a good friend who often has this same problem, but her's is her sister keeps befriending her friends and then it seems like her friends and her sister hang out more than she does with her friends. Does that make sense?

I don't think there's anything you can do about it, other than either cope or choose to not be friends with people.

One way to look at it differently, this weekend trip could now be more fun and you could get to know BOTH sets of friends better because it's a bigger group. Just trying to find a "half full" perspective. (and you can tell me to shut it, as I know those damn optimistic people can be really annoying!







)


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## BurtsGirl

Good advice, Julia, v. good advice.


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## Scribe

Everything OK Rachel?


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## BurtsGirl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Scribe* 
Everything OK Rachel?

Yes, just a mild issue but I'm moving past it.

I'm sitting in the hospital right now though. My dad came in for a heart cath and ended up needing a stent. He's in recovery now and is doing ok. They are going to keep him over night though.

How did everyone's weekend go. It was just gorgeous here. Snow one weekend spring the next. We ended up not going hiking and camping and instead took the boy for a picnic and a very long walk around a lake at a local college. It was a lot of fun. We spent a lot of time on the back porch playing cards are stuff also.


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## Scribe

It was really nice here, too, but I spent most of the weekend inside, as I'm not feeling very well. Fighting off a virus, I suspect, which, as long as I keep fighting it, is fine. I also had Korean food for the first time, which was good. And make some TST jars, which was good.

Sorry to hear about your dad, but yay that he's doing well. Heart stuff is scary--my grandmother just had a bypass last fall and it was very scary.

In other news, the new baby is still not named. Last I heard, the frontrunning name was Beckner, but nothing final.


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## Who me?

Sorry to hear about your dad, Rachel, but glad that he's ok.

Our weekend was pretty normal, but DW caught my cold







so spent most of the weekend chillaxin. We stripped wallpaper, did some shopping, got our taxes sorted out (big return, yay!), and I made two kinds of soup for the sickie. Our only adventures this weekend consisted of trying to keep diapers on the puppy. She's in heat. Oh yays.


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## jlutgendorf

So sorry to hear about your dad! I hope he (and you) are doing ok. Crystal, I was just going to ask if you had recovered from the crud. sorry your wife now has it. And sorry you're feeling crappy Grace! And since we all seem to "share" our colds over the interwebs, you two better not get me sick!









Our weekend was really great. Wonderful weather. We pretty much spent the whole time building cat furniture. Robert designed a bench on casters that holds two of their their litter boxes, and they access them by jumping inside from the top of the bench. We're hoping this will help contain most of the litter that gets scattered everywhere. We have old hardwood floors, and the boards have some large gaps between them, so the litter gets stuck down there&#8230;then they'll spill their water so it turns into litter paste&#8230;:eyeroll

We're almost done with it, just have to finish up the trim and then line the inside with shelf paper so it's easier to clean out.

I can't tell you how TIRED I am though!







It wasn't hard work, but it was constant standing, bending, lifting, etc. And I'm used to sitting at my desk all day!







Really let me know how out of shape I am.

Crystal, I understand about the heat. That actually reminds me that I need to schedule Aggie's spay, she's been out of heat long enough now. Ok, here's a weird TMI questions about dog's private bits, have you noticed with Heidi that her vulva has "projected" more? And do you know when your other two girls were spayed? I'm curious because Keira was spayed when we adopted her, at about 3 months old and she's got a tipped or recessed vulva. Which basically means that urine gets trapped and scalds her skin. Aggie's vulva is much more prominent now, even being out of heat, so she doesn't have that same issue.

Now I know Keira's issue is mainly a defect, but I wonder if she had gone through heat first if that would have changed her anatomy enough to avoid her current problem.

I'm still confused about pediatric speuters for dogs. Good numbers are coming back from kill shelters that speuter all animals before adoption, but I know that there are proven health benefits to waiting. I'm all for it for cats, the same health correlations haven't been made, and cats are sneaky bastards that can get knocked up as early as 4 months old WITHOUT being in heat.

And you all are reminding me that I need to get our taxes in order to give them to our accountant! yikes! It's getting down to the wire.


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## Who me?

Yeah, her "bits" are definitely humungo right now. I expect the swelling to go down once the hormones settle, but everything I read indicates they'll always be a little larger than they used to be. It's funny you bring this up, 'cause Jaida has problems with her girlie bits (recurrent vaginal infections) and she has, in the words of our vet, "a very tiny vulva"...Heidi's is definitely bigger, and she's 1/3 Jaida's weight. I wonder if we had waited for her spay if things would have been better for her down there. I also wish we'd known more about delayed neuter, because everything I read now tells me that for an orthopaedically-challenged dog it would have been a very very good idea to wait until she was older. That said, she was kind of a special case and she was spayed at the same time as her amputation because they wanted to minimize the number of times she had to go under anaesthetic because of her scarred lungs. I still think I would have wanted to wait until she was about 1.5-2 years old.

As for paediatric speuter generally, I agree that for cats...snip snip at 6 months. For any dog over 25 lbs, I would delay until at least one year, ideally until 1.5-2 years especially for large/giant breeds. Heidi's borderline at 25 lbs, but I don't have any regrets about having to wait...my carpets and bedspread have regrets, but I don't


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## Scribe

That is interesting about spay/neuter. I've only had male dogs so it isn't something I've given much thought to. Neutering at 8 months or so seems OK with me.


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## jlutgendorf

For cats, the guidelines are you can speuter as early as 8 weeks or 2 lbs. They recover a lot faster at that age. And most reputable cat breeders are speutering kittens BEFORE they let them go home with their new owners, much like how rescues are doing it.

It seems to be helping a lot, as many cat owners let their cats outside, and most owners (including me) don't realize that Fluffy can get knocked up without being in heat.

I swear, pet ownership can be so confusing at times!


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## jlutgendorf

Oh, I also meant to ask if any of you guys like to garden/grow food? I've just realized that spring is on it's way and we haven't done anything! Our beds are still overgrown from last year.

I'm thinking of scaling things down this year to easy things like tomatoes and carrots. Maybe try pumpkins again this year.


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## Scribe

Mark grows herbs. But I hate gardening. I grew up with a big sustenance garden and it just seems like work to me. Not something I'd do for fun.


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## jlutgendorf

Hey Rachel, how's your dad doing?

I got a great gift yesterday. A friend of ours upgraded to an iPhone and she gave me her iPod Touch! I was so surprised, it was so generous (and so fun!). I have to remember to write her a thankyou note today.


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## BurtsGirl

Hey gals, sorry I'm been out of the loop.

Dad is doing ok. He had an 80% blockage and had to have a stent put in. They discharged him today and he's home and doing good. I just left there a while ago. There's so drama there but I'll spare you, lol.

I've also only had boy dogs so not much help on that question.

Terri loves to garden. I'll help her get it started when the weather is nice and before the mosquitoes come out but I refuse to be a feeding tube for them in the middle of the summer heat. We haven't had a lot of luck since moving to this house, though. We have grown all kinds of veggies. Broccoli, tomatoes, cukes, peppers, beans, squash, zucchini, spinach, lettuce, and brussel sprouts. Some of that wasn't successful though. This year we're going to school, organic gardening school up in NC. We have pest issues mainly. Gardening isn't really my thing but I love the results of it. Oh, I do herb gardening. This year I'm extending my herb garden to include a few medicinal herbs also that I'll harvest and use for medicine this year.

And what a great gift, J!


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## Scribe

Your dad is in my thoughts, Rachel.

My cousin is recovering from her infection fine, and the big baby STILL doesn't have a name!









I got a big freelance project dumped in my lap last night. Something that would normally take 2-3 weeks that has to be done Saturday morning. So...stressful few days coming up for me.


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## BurtsGirl

Thanks, sweets and good luck on your new project.

I'm back at work today and catching up on work and nonwork related tasks. I have that networking lunch today so I'm a little anxious. I'll post how it goes each here or on my blog later today.


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## Who me?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jlutgendorf* 
Oh, I also meant to ask if any of you guys like to garden/grow food? I've just realized that spring is on it's way and we haven't done anything! Our beds are still overgrown from last year.

I'm thinking of scaling things down this year to easy things like tomatoes and carrots. Maybe try pumpkins again this year.

We had a pretty big garden for the past few years, but we just don't have the time to take care of it properly, it always gets overgrown. We're going to seed over it this spring.

Good luck at your networking today, Rachel!


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## jlutgendorf

Aww, sorry there was drama Rachel! We had some with Robert's dad. His Dr. gave him the option of keeping his catheter in, or taking it out and HE could put it in when he needed to pee.







He ended up not being able to do it properly and couldn't pee for over 24 hours. He was making himself sick, but also didn't get why he needed to get back to the dr or ER asap. sigh&#8230;

I'd love to hear how your lunch goes Rachel, and that class you're going to take looks really cool

I hope you'll survive the rush ok Grace!

What do you mean by seed it over Crystal? I'm still pretty new to gardening, we've only been doing it for the past couple years, and mainly only during the spring/summer.


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## Who me?

lol, I mean we're going to dig it up, rake it out and lay grass seed.


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## jlutgendorf

I was thinking it meant some kind of fancy thing where you were maybe putting down a cover crop for later or something! Grass is nice too, gives the pups more room to play.


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## BurtsGirl

The networking lunch was good. I got to stand up and introduce myself which wasn't as bad as I normally would have thought. I got to talk with the people at my table and exchanged cards with a photographer. The speaker was good and got me thinking about the future of business in general and where things are heading.

I still haven't figured out the purpose of this yet but I'm getting closer. Regardless, meeting new people is good on both a professional level as well as a personal level. I left feeling good, with a business card, and some things to think about so overall it wasn't for not. I need to go a few times to get people used to my face.


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## jlutgendorf

Sounds like the networking was interesting! I would be nervous to talk about myself in front of a bunch of strangers!









Not much new to report over here. The dogs are all settling in together. In fact, Keira and Izzy are playing together right now. Izzy is making progress, though she's FAR from housebroken. I have to remind myself that even though she's big, she needs to be treated like a baby puppy still. And probably for longer than a puppy would, since we have to get her OUT of the habit of thinking it's ok to potty inside the house.

How's your dad doing Rachel? Are you getting caught up with work ok?

~Julia


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## BurtsGirl

All I had to say was my name, title, and company so it wasn't too bad. My issues is always that initial introduction to someone. Once the intro is done I can take it from there but I hate speaking first.

Dad is pretty much back to his normal grumpy old man self. And I did catch up on work, nice to know I'm needed but it was only two days, geesh. My boss is out of town the rest of this week and next so I'm hoping to stay focused and get some projects wrapped up before she returns.

Grace, how's the WW going? And getting the store back up?

This weekend it's supposed to be raining here. I swear the weather just can not make up it's mind. Crystal, are you still in Winter up there? Oh and you need to post to your blog, missy. Now that I'm stalking your blog, also prepare to be harassed about updating it. I need my biology moment fix.

Julia, so glad to hear that Izzy is fitting in nicely. Are you still planning to rehome her or are you going to keep her?


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## Scribe

WW is doing. I'm still losing, and mostly not cheating. Long road, but I feel good about it.

Store is..stalled? I have new containers and am ready to make stuff, but I haven't done it yet, and I am giving myself the excuse of waiting for Julia to finish the labels, evne though I don't really need to wait for Julia to finish the labels. I have stuff to make several TST jars, too (I have four homeless ones made already), but no jars! Gotta find some of those.


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## BurtsGirl

I finally got around to using the sugar scrub I bought from you and Oh. My. God. Not only do I love the smell, and Terri does too, but my skin afterwards was the softest ever! When I run out, you have to make me more!


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## Scribe

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BurtsGirl* 
I finally got around to using the sugar scrub I bought from you and Oh. My. God. Not only do I love the smell, and Terri does too, but my skin afterwards was the softest ever! When I run out, you have to make me more!

Of course. The sugar scrubs are one of the few items I am going to focus on in the new and improved shop, as they hold up well to mailing and everyone seems to really like them. I just sent Frog four different new scents to try.


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## jlutgendorf

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Scribe* 
WW is doing. I'm still losing, and mostly not cheating. Long road, but I feel good about it.

Store is..stalled? I have new containers and am ready to make stuff, but I haven't done it yet, and I am giving myself the excuse of waiting for Julia to finish the labels, evne though I don't really need to wait for Julia to finish the labels. I have stuff to make several TST jars, too (I have four homeless ones made already), but no jars! Gotta find some of those.









I know, I meant to email you to apologize for slacking. I was going to finish up the TST labels last night, but then I was tired and sort of depressed so I didn't.







:

But I WILL. And I should, because your labels are the most creative thing I've got going on right now, and they're actually fun to work on. Just apparently not as fun as playing solitaire on my ipod.


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## Scribe

Like I said dude, it's not like I need the labels to make stuff. I'm just using you as an excuse for my own slacking.

I am excited to see the finished product, though!


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## jlutgendorf

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Scribe* 
Like I said dude, it's not like I need the labels to make stuff. I'm just using you as an excuse for my own slacking.

I am excited to see the finished product, though!

Me too!









Oh, I did want to ask, for the bath stuffs, do you prefer a color palate that is more: pastel vs bold (jewel toned) vs primary colors vs bright colors? Let me know if you need examples of those. I know colors are really subjective.


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## Scribe

Bold and/or primary would be great. I'd like something colorful.


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## Scribe

I am trying to find a dress for Mark's brother's black tie wedding. What do you all think about this?


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## Who me?

Really cute! I like the back.


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## BurtsGirl

I think it's cute also. I also think the jade or pink would look great with your hair and skin tones.

Weekend Plans, ladies?

It's supposed to be raining here so not sure what we're doing yet.


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## BurtsGirl

PS. Grace I must know more about this little black box on your flickr.


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## Scribe

Working on a blog post about it, Rachel.









Vet visit for Ata and Atticus tomorrow (just their annual shots and check-up). Nothing else on the schedule. I'm getting sick, I think, so I am going to take it easy.


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## jlutgendorf

That is pretty Grace! What color are you thinking of?

It's going to be rainy here as well. boooo. Not much planned for saturday, probably errands and house stuff. On sunday we'll be taking photos at an event for a friend. She works for a nonprofit and its their big annual fundraiser. We volunteer our time (and get free yummy food!) and photograph the event.


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## Scribe

I was thinking the teal. But I have since discovered that that dress thinks XL=size 12, so...no.


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## Who me?

it might be worth checking on the return policy and ordering it anyways. The one time I ordered a dress online it came waaaaaaaay bigger than I expected it to given the size I ordered, I actually had to send back THREE dresses until I finally got one that fit properly. Formal dress sizes can fit really wierd. If you like it, I say go for it, as long as you can return it.


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## BurtsGirl

Well I was a complete bum this weekend, lol. I did manage to pick up the house a little but that's about all that got done.

Grace, I bought some of the lipstick you mention on your blog from bare essentials. Yummy! Thanks for the rec.


----------



## Who me?

OMG. I was NOT a bum this weekend.

Finished all the patching/sanding. Finished painting the ceilings/walls in living room. Picked up wicked-cool TV unit for living room and stayed up 'till 12:30am puting it together and reassembling living room. Living room looks [email protected] Oh, and ran 10 km yesterday too. I am much sore and many tired.

DW is home all week with great aspirations of getting the painting totally done. I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.


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## Scribe

Wow, impressive, Crystal! We got a few small things done, but nothing of that magnitude.

Which color did you get, Rachel? I am still loving mine and am thinking of getting another color. This makeup thing is getting addictive...


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## Who me?

You guys have me thinking I need to try some makeup. Where to start? The only "makeup" I wear right now is pretty much tinted lip gloss. What would be the bare essentials in your opinions?


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## Scribe

Depends what you want to do. I started wearing it this past winter because I wasn't comfortable with the condition of my skin, so I started with tinted moisturizer, concealer, and blush. I've only started adding in eye makeup in recent weeks. But if you are OK with your skin, I'd skip all that and start with mascara. If my skin wasn't sucking recently, I'd stick with mascara and colored lip gloss and call it good most days.


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## Who me?

I think I'm about 85-90% happy with my skin most days. I use moisturizer 2x a day, and that's it. Maybe mascara would be a good starting point. I kinda like it actually, my only beef is that I sometimes feel my lashes bonking on the lenses of my glasses...maybe if I curled them they would go up instead of out?


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## BurtsGirl

I got Gabby Not as dark as it looks in the picture I have a pinker lip gloss from them and loved it so the dark wine color is for my darker clothing and evenings.

Crystal, seriously my work/everyday routine looks like this:

Moisturizer
Tinted Moisturizer
Mascara
Lip Gloss
ETA: I do curl my lashes.


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## jlutgendorf

Totes curl your lashes. It does amazing things for them! I almost never wear make-up, but if I'm doing anything, it's curling and mascara. I don't have any recomendations though, I'm still using ancient stuff from high school/college.

I just got a sad email from my best friend. She's been having some "female issues" related to the birth of her daughter (19 months old) and now has discharge from her breast and has found a lump.







She's going in this week for a mamogram, but is obviously freaking out. She sounds exhausted. She's got the baby and then two step kids. And I can't even be there for her. She lives on the other side of the country.

Any ideas of a package I can send to her? She sounds so tired and scared. I'd like to figure out a way for her to not have to take care of the kids or the house for 24 hours so she can sleep and relax. She likes girly type things, though she doesn't have a bath tub&#8230;I'm going to have to think about this some more.

So I'm not totally depressing! our weekend was pretty good. Ran some errands on Sat. and then had a nice dinner for a friend's birthday. Sunday we went and photographed Taste the World, the fundraiser for our friend's work. It was fun and we got free food. We then finished up the cat bench/litter home (still needs to be painted though) and got some cleaning done. Slowly the house is getting better and better!

Crystal, sounds like you guys were beasts! You must take more photos to show us!


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## Scribe

Yep, curl 'em. I can't wear mascara w/o curling them or the same thing happens to me.

I like Gabby! I have Brandi, but I'd like to try Isabella or Bianca next.

FWIW, this is my routine, at least as of this morning:
1. Primer
2. Tinted moisturizer
3. Powder
4. Blush
5. Mascara (with curled lashes)
6. Lipstick

Looks like a lot when I type it out, but it takes less than 5 minutes.


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## Scribe

Sorry about your friend, Julia.

Girly type things that don't require a bath tub:
-sugar scrub
-massage candles
-scented spray (room spray or cooling body spray)
-lotions
-body oil
-soaps


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## Who me?

ok, I gotta convince DW that I need to chip out a "makeup" category in our bugdet









Sorry to hear about your friend Julia.







It's really really thoughtful of you to think of sending something to her. Hopefully she's got an appointment to get it checked out?

What's this cat bench/litter home of which you speak? Pics? I need a tidier solution for the kitties.

Yes, we were totes beasts. I'll try to get some pics in the next day or two.


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## BurtsGirl

Crsytal, I forgot to post on your kick @ss weekend. You go girl!

Julia, that would freak me out also. Sending much love and positive energy that she gets good news. Maybe a housekeeping service? Does she use a babysitter or daycare or do you know any of her friends around? Maybe a GC to a spa for a massage? There also things like super supper that would be a good idea for meals if thy have something like that in her area. Glad to hear you guys had some fun, now go post to your blog, missy!


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## Who me?

ok. seriously? why is it that the boss can disappear for a week's vacation, leaving me with a bunch of uber-technical legal documents that need to be finalized, saying "oh, there's the templates, just stick the dates/numbers in" and it turns out that each one really needs to be individually tailored and I HAVE NO CLUE HOW TO DO THIS and they need to go out by the end of the day???????




























:


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## Scribe

FYI, this is what my makeup looks like.


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## Who me?

I like it-your skin looks great, btw.


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## Scribe

Thanks. It's getting a lot better as I'm making improvements in my diet.


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## jlutgendorf

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Scribe* 
Sorry about your friend, Julia.

Girly type things that don't require a bath tub:
-sugar scrub
-massage candles
-scented spray (room spray or cooling body spray)
-lotions
-body oil
-soaps

Thank you for the ideas Grace! I knew you would have some thoughts. I'm going to work on your labels tonight. For the bath tins, do you want a circle label for the top or a rectangle for around the sides?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Who, me?* 
ok, I gotta convince DW that I need to chip out a "makeup" category in our bugdet









Sorry to hear about your friend Julia.







It's really really thoughtful of you to think of sending something to her. Hopefully she's got an appointment to get it checked out?

What's this cat bench/litter home of which you speak? Pics? I need a tidier solution for the kitties.

Yes, we were totes beasts. I'll try to get some pics in the next day or two.

She does have an appointment, but she hasn't told them about the lump. I asked her to tell them and get a much sooner appointment.

I will def. get some pics up of the cat bench/litter home. So far it's working out great! And it lets the kittehs sit and watch birds outside.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BurtsGirl* 
Crsytal, I forgot to post on your kick @ss weekend. You go girl!

Julia, that would freak me out also. Sending much love and positive energy that she gets good news. Maybe a housekeeping service? Does she use a babysitter or daycare or do you know any of her friends around? Maybe a GC to a spa for a massage? There also things like super supper that would be a good idea for meals if thy have something like that in her area. Glad to hear you guys had some fun, now go post to your blog, missy!









Those are all great ideas Rachel! you guys are awesome. They don't use babysitters (just family), but all those other things could be put into place.

And I know I need to blog. I think I'll blog about our cat furniture!









Quote:


Originally Posted by *Who, me?* 
ok. seriously? why is it that the boss can disappear for a week's vacation, leaving me with a bunch of uber-technical legal documents that need to be finalized, saying "oh, there's the templates, just stick the dates/numbers in" and it turns out that each one really needs to be individually tailored and I HAVE NO CLUE HOW TO DO THIS and they need to go out by the end of the day???????




























:























That sucks. Is your boss reachable by phone?








: Cause I would totes call them and make them go through it line by line with you!


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## jlutgendorf

Oh, and I like your make-up Grace, especially the smily picture of you! Crystal is right, your skin looks fantastic.


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## Scribe

I would like a round label for the top, please.

If you want me to make up a few things for your friend, just say the word.


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## BurtsGirl

Crystal, I feel your pain. My boss is out this week also but fortunately she has dropped anything yet...but I've been in your shoes and I would call and call now and keep calling until s/he answers

Grace, your gorgeous! Love the makeup.


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## Who me?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jlutgendorf* 
That sucks. Is your boss reachable by phone?







: Cause I would totes call them and make them go through it line by line with you!









She is enjoying the beach in the Bahamas or some darn place. No, not reachable by phone. Managed to find someone else to help me, and I'm done, but I've had about 10 heart attacks. Blarg.

I'm blowing this popstand.


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## BurtsGirl

When do you people start turning 30 with me? I'm tired of being the lone 30 year old!


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## Scribe

Heh. Not until August.


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## jlutgendorf

not until september. of 2011


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## Who me?

September this year


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## BurtsGirl

Man, looks like I'll be waiting a while, huh? Sheesh.

You guys wearing green? Do you do anything for St Patty's Day?

We normally have an irish inspired dinner. Normally it's colcannon and some sort of meat but that's about it.


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## Who me?

Naw, we're lame. I think DW said "happy St. Patty's day" this morning when the alarm went off but that's about it.







Maybe I'll pick up some beer for tonight


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## Who me?

Oh, btw, I'm meeting one of my potential PhD supervisors this afternoon, Dr. Obsessedwithreptiles...


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## BurtsGirl

Good luck, Crystal!! I hope you'll let us know how it went.


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## Scribe

I'm wearing a bit of green. I've had on this great emerald green nail polish for a week. And I plan to make black and tans tonight. That's about it.

I'll be 30 before you know it, Rachel!


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## BurtsGirl

Oh, Terri loves the black and tans. You know Yuengling has them in one bottle now? Terri hasn't tried it but a friend said it was pretty good.


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## jlutgendorf

I totes forgot to wear green. Though I just noticed I still have a tiny smidge of green nailpolish on, that counts right?









I don't know that we'll do much. Our Irish friends are busy this year.

Crystal, I hope you have a good meeting with Dr. Reptileperson!

I was able to talk to my friend last night and I'm going to fly out to see her in about a month! AirTran had a sale right then so I could afford it. And by that time she should know what's going on with her health, so I can help out as she needs. We're going to go up to my grandparents cabin for 1-2 nights with NO kids (seriously her first night with no kids since she had her baby), so hopefully she can sleep and relax for a bit and then when we come back I'm just going to help her with what she needs around the house.

None of that makes her any healthier, but she said it makes her happy and she's feeling less depressed. So, it's not a lot, but I hope it will help and now I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that she's going to be ok.

Oh Rachel, I'll have to look into those black and tans, they sound intriguing (for Robert though, I don't like Guiness







).


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## BurtsGirl

Julia, that is so great that you're going to be able to fly out there! I'm sure that makes you and her feel better. And what better care package than yourself! And girl-time in a cabin sounds blissful! So glad you were able to find a good deal. Do let us know how she's doing when she goes to her appointment. We'll be thinking about her and I'll continue to send some good energy to her until then.


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## Who me?

I don't understand this black and tan business. Explain.


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## Scribe

It's Guiness and Harp layers. Or I guess it's an dark beer-pale ale mix, but Guiness and Harp are traditional in my experience.

Black and tan.


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## BurtsGirl

I think Terri normally uses Bass instead of Harp. I don't drink it but it's pretty to look at which is why I'm not so sure about a bottled version.


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## Who me?

Ah, thank you.

I drank not-so-Irish Heinekin last night


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## Scribe

I ended up sick last night and drank nothing. Bah. But I did order my fancy dress--wanna see?

http://www.bluefly.com/browse/zoom.j...0658601&zoom=1


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## Who me?

oooooh, pretty!!!







:


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## jlutgendorf

I had a cider and Robert made a black velvet (like a black and tan but with cider instead of harper/bass).

Yay!







: I love that dress Grace. I think it will look beautiful with your hair and skin tone.

We're having more crazy old man drama (Robert's dad). His drs. keep presenting him with options that fall along these lines: Sane option A, CRAZY option B. And of course he keeps taking option B.

NOTE. Stop reading here if you don't want medical talk this early in the morning.

The current drama is that the incision inside his bladder has reopened and he's been leaking urine into his abdomen. NOT GOOD. He went to the dr to have the urine aspirated out, where they told him he really should check into the hospital. OR he could come back every 12 hours to get IV antibiotics and aspirate more urine out. So he's doing option B







. Which has his wife so stressed out and distracted (she has to drive him and she's not in great health either) that she totaled her car this morning. The accident wasn't her fault, but it sounds like she could have avoided it if she had been more focused while driving. I think we're going to have to have an intervention today.

It's hard because other than this current issue he's crazy healthy for an 80 year old man. I'm pretty sure he thinks if he has to check into the hospital he's going to die there. But he's making himself sick right now by NOT checking in&#8230;

Crystal, how did your meeting go yesterday? Grace, how are you feeling today? I'm sorry you got sick, that's no good.


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## Scribe

I'm OK today, if a little weak stomached. I think I ate something not good the other night.

Thanks for the dress compliments. I tend to look pretty good in pink, so I think it will work. Assuming it fits. It was a really good deal, and I can send it back if it doesn't, so it's all good.


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## Who me?

Oh gawd Julia, I can totally relate to that. My in-laws are HORRIBLE about taking care of their health, and you can't get them to a dr. or a hospital unless they're pretty much half dead, and meanwhile everyone else in the family turns into a nervous, stressing wreck.







to you guys while this is all going on.

The meeting yesterday went totes awesome. Unless I totally misread things, we completely clicked, our interests/research styles/work habits/supervisor-student relationship ideals, etc. gel really well, and we each made a good impression on the other. He's sent me some stuff to read and asked me to keep in touch as I get some of my applications finalized. It was a really positive meeting, and I left feeling really good about things. If it doesn't work out with the other prof I have yet to speak to, I think I'll be quite happy working with this guy. As a bonus, he's the closest of my current prospects to where I live and is flexible about working at home vs. at the lab, as long as the work gets done. I'm pretty excited about things.


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## BurtsGirl

Grace, I'm in the same boat. I left work about an hour early yesterday because my stomach was hurting and just feeling weird. I'm feeling maybe 20% better than last night but it's still very icky. I also didn't get to drink the wine I was planning to review today on my blog.

That dress is gorgeous! I agree the color will look great on you and I love the ribbon flowing down the back.







: it will fit right.

Julia, Agh! BTDT two weeks ago. None of my dad's family (7 brothers) do very well going to the doctor. My dad might be the worst of them. He was ready to leave the hospital when they got done with his heart cath. I hope you FIL will listen to some reason. Also glad everyone was ok in the wreck. That's scary. Big







s for dealing with grumpy old men.

Crystal, wow, that's so great! I don't think I really understand how all this graduate stuff goes but it sounds like it went great. Is money still an issue? Are you still planning to right some grants or something to help with that? It's always nice when you hit it off with the people you're going to work with/for. Yay!


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## Who me?

Most universities offer a minimum level of support for all grad students, usually around 15K/year. Most of the time, this is subsidized by a Teaching Assistantship...you work 15 hours a week as a TA, and get paid for the work; that covers about half the 15K. The prof usually has to cover the rest out of their own research funds. Profs don't want students to have jobs outside of the uni to cover the rest of their salary (15k/yr is pretty hard to live off of for most) and can't afford to top up the 15k to something more livable, so they expect students to find scholarships, grants etc. I've already started getting some paperwork lined up for applications that are due this fall, so I'm in good shape. I dont' think he's as poor as he let on initially; he's said if I have to do any travelling, work at other research stations, even out-of-country work, then he'll cover those costs. He keeps the number of students in his lab low so he can do that.


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## jlutgendorf

:
















Just found out that FIL is on his way to be admitted to the hospital. They didn't have to call an ambulance, but they did call ahead and the hospital is rushing to get a room ready for him.

I'm so frustrated that he pulls this kind of stuff. (refusing appropriate care, not going to the hospital)


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## BurtsGirl

Giant







and calming







: coming at you, Julia. Let us know if there's anything we can do, sweets.


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## jlutgendorf

awww&#8230;thanks Rachel. Really, being able to come and complain to you all here is wonderful!

Robert is on his way to the hospital now (apparently they had to detour to drop off his wife's boss's dog that they were dog sitting).









I might go up there after work depending on how long Robert stays there.


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## Who me?

egads. How are things today Julia?


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## jlutgendorf

well everyone's still alive. He didn't get to see the dr. yesterday due to getting to the hospital late. So most of his time there yesterday was focused on getting him comfortable. I'll spare you the gross details, but suffice to say there was much goings on with bodily waste. And when that was done he was both feeling and looking a lot better. They also started him on an IV for fluids and a liquid antibiotic. And those should help keep him hydrated so he doesn't get backed up again and they said the IV antibiotic should make him less nauseous than the pills he was on.

While we were there he wanted his wife to call his friend so he could thank him for "his good advice that he should be admitted to the hospital."







Thanks old man. Cause your dr., your wife and your son ALL telling you the same thing means nothing.

I'm hoping that Robert can get a chance to speak to his Dr. and get the full story of what's going on. As well as tell him that he CANNOT give him options he doesn't want him to take.

I don't know what to do for Robert right now though. He has several HUGE deadlines this week (like clients who are going to be featured on 60 minutes and need their website live by then). But it's all work that only he can do. I don't know near enough about coding and it's so late in the game that I don't think my boss can bring in a contractor to finish up the work. I'm not sure what my rights are in terms of talking with his dad's dr. I guess I can if his dad would allow it?

The main thing though is that he's in the hospital with people caring for him. And his poor wife doesn't have to try and be his nurse. Now we just need to see if we can keep him there until he's much better.


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## Who me?

I'm becoming a firm beleiver that if senior family members are not willing or able to make rational decisions about their health (i.e. they are putting their health or lives at risk), then other family members should def participate in discussions with the doctor. I think Robert talking with the doc about the situation is a brilliant idea. I think you'd be ok to talk to the doctor too if your FIL ok's it. I dunno, last time I had to drag my MIL to her doc, I just let myself in the room and sat in on it. Doc didn't even ask who I was until the exam was over, but then he's an @ss.


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## jlutgendorf

Yes, I think we're headed that way. He hadn't told his drs about being nauseated. When he was asked about his pain he said it was fine. Fortunately his wife spoke up and said, no it's not fine, it's limiting his movement and activity level. sigh&#8230;

Speaking of cranky old guys, how's your dad doing Rachel? Are you feeling better? Grace are you feeling better now?


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## BurtsGirl

Julia, what an ordeal.







I wonder if these old men know that although they think they are sparing their familes and being super hero's, they are really just annoying the hell out of us? Much







to you, J. My dad is fine. He needs to have his back surgery in about a month and he should be good as new.

I'm feeling a little better today but still taking it easy.


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## jlutgendorf

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BurtsGirl* 
Julia, what an ordeal.







I wonder if these old men know that although they think they are sparing their familes and being super hero's, they are really just annoying the hell out of us? Much







to you, J. My dad is fine. He needs to have his back surgery in about a month and he should be good as new.

I'm feeling a little better today but still taking it easy.

I'm glad you're starting to feel better!







: Thanks for the hugs.

Honestly, Robert's dad isn't trying to spare anyone. It's a bizzare combination of "I know better than everyone else" and "I'll die in a hospital so I just won't go" with a tiny bit of "I can deal with the pain just fine". But mostly it's him thinking he knows best how to do things.

He mentioned last night that he didn't tell anyone about his abdomen getting red and hot and swollen because when his wife had her knee replaced, it did the same thing! But she was in the HOSPITAL for a month with someone checking her knee SEVERAL times a day to make sure she was ok.









I have to try and find these things funny so I don't end up strangling the old guy.

And I can't remember if I've mentioned it before, but his dad's wife isn't Robert's mom. His mom died back in 2004 and his dad remarried. Since Robert was already grown when that happened, we don't call her his step-mom. It's kind of weird actually. Just thought I'd explain since typing it out sounds strange to me!


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## Who me?

The "rationale" from my ILs is usually "I don't want to be a bother". Um. Hello, that's what doctors and hospitals are FOR, for crying out loud!!!







: And I think there's a bit of the "if I go to the hospital I'll die there" too. It is soo soo soooooooo aggravating. And if you can find some funny in there, Julia, let me know, 'cause I know it is a major PITA for us over here.


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## jlutgendorf

how's everyone doing? any fun weekend plans?

We plan to be passed out most of the weekend. Robert worked until 4 am and will probably still have to put in more than a full days worth of work.

The old man will probably get discharged today. Turns out that most of what he told us was how HE diagnosed himself, not actually anything that drs. told him. We're completely confused since he doesn't hear well and won't always answer questions factually. Not because he's confused or doesn't understand&#8230;his wife normally corrects him but she was backing up many of his other stories as well and I can't believe she would lie, so I don't know what to think. I'm just going to try and get Robert to one of his drs appointments and he can grill the dr to get the whole scoop.

And I thought I would share some "old man musings" with you all. He was feeling&#8230;philosophical last night. Which started with him asking us about our goals in life and then evolved into his two business "plans", one of which includes a "dr. phil type lecture series". In which he will impart his wisdom to the paying masses. It involves the quotation "And then Jesus came and he was like Martin Luther King, Jr. and he told the Jews 'you've got this all wrong!'"

And no, he's not senile or confused. Just very self centered. It's much easier if I laugh about all his antics.

We're going to take Izzy to visit an old professor of Robert's who might be interested in adopting her. So that's a good thing. She's suddenly really caught on to sitting and paws down. Housebreaking is still going slow, but with lots of supervision, she hasn't had any accidents in a few days.


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## Who me?

Oh dear lord. I'm sorry but I won't be signing up for that particular lecture series any time soon







I think your FIL would get along well with my FIL.

Poor yous.

Glad to hear that Izzy might have a furever home, that's awesome!

Would you like to foster a small, mugsly, leaky, in-heat dog for a few weeks? Honestly, I'm sooooo done with this "in heat" business. Last night I shifted her on the couch and got an armful of smeared grossness







And things look so ridiculously huge down there it's practically like having a new family member. We've named it Madge ('cos it rhymes).

Grace, I read on your blog about your co-worker. I'm so sorry to hear what happened. It's really, really freaky, but I'm starting to hear of more incidents like that with people close to our age. I guess you just never know, and all you can do is live your left as best you can.


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## jlutgendorf

oh man, i'm sorry to read about the in heat bidness. We were lucky in that Aggie only bleed for about 8-9 days. And, uh, I like to dress her up







: so she put up with her diaper for the most part. And she weighs 8 lbs, so she didn't make much of a mess.

I shudder to think about people with great danes&#8230;

Grace I'm also so sorry to hear about your coworker. I never know what to say about death other than to give







s

Speaking of blogs&#8230;Crystal&#8230; so the one guy is out? He's not actually awesome, but more "less awesome"?


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## Who me?

she's done bleeding, but now she has what my dog books call "straw-coloured discharge". It's not as bad as the blood in terms of the staining-ness-on-furniture factor but it's still gross.







@ great danes, I've been thinking that too. Heidi's only 25 lbs, so it's not as bad as it could be.

Yeah, Dr. Harassesbugsintropics, although he had possibly cool stuff to do, was an @ss. Not interested.

Dr. Obsessedwithreptiles is pretty awesome, BUT

Dr. Chasesbugsincanopies has this totes wicked-awesome cool northern project that I would be an idiot to pass up. I think we have a winnah.


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## jlutgendorf

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Who, me?* 
We've named it Madge ('cos it rhymes).

I *JUST* realized what Madge rhymes with.

I was all







"Madge doesn't rhyme with Heidi. Do I have her dog's name wrong?"


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## Who me?

It's not _quite_ the anatomically correct name, but it's pretty darn close.


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## Who me?

"Heidi, get Madge out of my face."

"Heidi, stop licking Madge, she's going bald."

"Kim, Madge just messed the bedspread again!!!"







:


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## jlutgendorf

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Who, me?* 
"Heidi, get Madge out of my face."

"Heidi, stop licking Madge, she's going bald."

"Kim, Madge just messed the bedspread again!!!"







:










That's totes awesome!







And dude, what is up with the Madge in face? Aggie loves to do that! knock it off!


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## Who me?

It's polite dog-speak, no?

Like, "Hey, you're cool, let's chat!"







Or something.

Dogs are so gross.


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## BurtsGirl

I am ROLLING in the floor over you guys and Madge!

We're doing the garden school tomorrow and going over to friends for dinner tonight. Sunday we'll probably run errands and work in the yard. I took Rascal to get groomed today so I'm excited to pick put my puppy fluffy dog this afternoon.

Julia, your FIL and my dad should hook up for a series of lectures.

Crystal, so glad there's a potential winnah! Sounds exciting

Grace, I also read the blog. Big







s sister. BTDT.


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## jlutgendorf

Oh, please tell us how that goes! It sounds really interesting.

We can try and put together a grumpy old man lecture series, in which they all try to impart their great wisdom and then harass us all for being slackers and not living up to their expectations!


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## Who me?

All my FIL's contributions would end with "@sshole".


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## Who me?

Have fun at garden school, that sounds soooooo fun!!!


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## BurtsGirl

My dad can take the "How to be so negative even the bugs in the corner are committing suicide" talk. He's also very capable of doing the "Taking Stubbornness to a New Level" Three part series.


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## Who me?

My MIL could co-author the first talk, and both MIL and FIL could be pannelists for the second discussion.

Why are parents such basket cases?


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## jlutgendorf

oh I forgot. Cat furniture pics can be found here! jlutgendorf.blogspot.com

Sorry they're not super sharp, we took them with the iphone.


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## jlutgendorf

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BurtsGirl* 
My dad can take the "How to be so negative even the bugs in the corner are committing suicide" talk. He's also very capable of doing the "Taking Stubbornness to a New Level" Three part series.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *Who, me?* 
My MIL could co-author the first talk, and both MIL and FIL could be pannelists for the second discussion.

Why are parents such basket cases?

















Robert's dad could help out with the stubborn part! His fav words also include asshole and bullshit. he's charming!


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## BurtsGirl

Crystal, are you estranged from your parents? Never heard you really talk about them. Which brings me to a new discussion...Parents? Specifically, yours. Like them? Don't like them?

Julia,







the cat furniture. You guys could totes sell those!


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## Who me?

Ha. My parents would say I am. Naw, I'm just a lame daughter who lives kinda far away from them and calls when I remember to, maybe every two weeks, and goes down to visit maybe 3-4 times a year at best.

I actually have a very good relationship with all of them (both parents are remarried) for the most part. My mom gives me headaches sometimes with her need for an opulent (but beyond her means) lifestyle and her inability to really wrap her head around the idea of a gay daughter (even after more than 8 years to digest the information). She means well, though, and there's no doubt she loves me, so I can't really fault her too much. I'm definitely a daddy's girl, and although we don't do hearts to hearts all that much, my dad is my biggest fan and cheerleader and would drop everything to help me if I ever asked for it. He's good people. My stepmom is an overly empathic and sensitive sweetheart and she's wonderful to talk to if I'm having problems. My stepdad is a good guy, we had issues when I was a teenager (we're both stubborn @sses) but we get along just fine now. He's 17 years older than my mom, and starting to show his age (slowing down quite a bit); it's mellowing him out a lot.


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## jlutgendorf

I like/get along with both my parents really well. They kind of went insane right before I went to college and then right when I graduated/moved out for good. But they're good, stable people. Granted, I've also been a pretty good kid, so I haven't really challenged them with any "issues"!









Robert's parents&#8230;wow, is that a story. You've already heard lots (but sadly not nearly all) about his dad. His mom was a feisty Hungarian woman who was crippled by a stroke when Robert was 18. It left her both physically and emotionally changed. His dad's wife now is a very nice, very proper "Southern Lady". Which is good in some ways (she doesn't hardly challenge his dad), but bad in other ways (she doesn't hardly challenge his dad!).


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## BurtsGirl

Interesting. I'm estranged from my mother for many reasons. She remarried and like Crystal when I was younger we butted heads. Now I don't really talk to either of them. My dad and I have had some go rounds. I was a good kid also but my parents are completely unstable and lack boundries of any kind. I've had to rebuild my relationship with my dad showing him where my boundries are. He doesn't like it but I'm a stable adult (how I managed that growing up in my house I still don't know) and I'll not be pulled into their instability and dramaic lifestyles.

Grace, hon, are you still with us?

How was everyone's weekend?

We ended up ditching the gardening school because we stayed up too late friday night with friends. Instead we headed into Hendersonville, NC to stroll galleries. We also finally bought a large painting to go above our fireplace from a local artist. We've never spent that much money on art before but we love it and it's perfect for our living room. Now we just need to figure out lighting for it. I'll have some pics on my blog later today. Sunday we had our Equinox dinner and piddled around the house. We both got quite a bit done both inside and out. I think we've decided that we're going to scrape our ceiling instead of hiring someone to come do it. Augh. We also went an got the paint and stuff for the bedroom. We're planning to work on it this week and weekend.


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## Scribe

Yes, I'm still here. It's just been a rough few days.

Anyway, I get along pretty great with my mom and my stepdad. They're amazing, really. I get along fine with my dad, but have no real relationship with him. And my former stepmom (she and my dad were married for over 20 years, so she's like another parent regardless of whether or not they are married anymore) is nutty, but I like her too. I had the usual teen parental drama, but in general, I'm very, very close to my family.


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## BurtsGirl

Grace, I'm sorry it's been a rough few days. I hope it's getting better. If you want to talk about it, we're here. If not, that's fine also. Sending big







and much


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## jlutgendorf

We survived our weekend. Robert got the site live before sunday, but had to work A LOT to get it done.

No word about Izzy getting adopted. When we went to visit her potential home, the guy was putting in new faucets and they weren't working and he has a one track mind!







so he didn't interact with her much. We'll still keep looking.

And Grace you inspired me! Our goodwill offers big bags of stuffed animals and we bought a bag of 10 or so for about 3 dollars. And we have a new game! It's the "take all the dogs outside and hurl as many stuffed animals as you can" game. They all go crazy chasing after all these different toys that are flying all over. It's very entertaining (and tiring for the girls!).


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## Who me?

Will have to write more later, am at meeting with blackberry. Busy awesomely productive weekend, must get pics. My boss is driving me nutty, rant rant rant rant rant that's the short version. Ttyl my fave peeps!


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## jlutgendorf

I can't believe I forgot to mention this! My friend had her first set of tests on Friday, and the good news is that the lump she found isn't actually a lump. I guess it's just a more dense area of her breast tissue. So that's good, it's nothing to worry about.

They're still worried about the discharge, so she's got to go back this week and have more testing done (a test that involves injecting dye into the milk ducts and then performing a mammogram!







). The good news is that it's almost always benign polyps that cause the discharge. They still have to be removed, but they're not cancerous.


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## BurtsGirl

Julia, that is such great news! I know you and her are so relieved. Now when you go out there the two of you can have lots of fun together!


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## jlutgendorf

Yes, she's feeling better though still scared about probably needing surgery. And there's a teeny tiny chance it could still be cancer. But hopefuly all of those issues will be figured out this week.

I am excited to go out and see her. It will be a great break.


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## jlutgendorf

Ok, here's something I've been wrestling with and I think you all can help (especially you Crystal, you hear that? you must come back and post).

I've been thinking about going back to school. The question is for what, where, full-time/part-time, money, etc.

Right now I'm considering either taking more classes in graphic design (probably one a semester/quarter so I could still work) or working towards a masters in Library Sciences.

THEN, when researching the many graphic design programs in the area, I realized I could get a masters in Illustration. Wow, that would be awesome, but honestly probably the least financially sane thing to do.

So, what's a good way of looking at all these options and figuring things out. Money is the biggest concern here, followed by job potential. The last time I had to look at different schools was almost 10 years ago and I had my parents help me out.







:


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## BurtsGirl

I'm not much help, it's been a few years since I was in school. But Terri went back recently and she had to be full time or take at least two classes to quailify for grants/lotto money/aid. My only advice is to definitely think about job potential but also follow your heart. Do what you love, Julia, especially if you're going to the trouble of going back to school.

Today is our anniversary. We normally plan a weekend trip but decided to tone it down a little this year since we've got so many travel plans over the next few months. So we're going out for a fancy schmancy dinner. Terri always gives me a rose for each year we've been married and this year I gave her a sunflower (her favorite) for each year.

Grace, I saw your blog and I plan to respond I'm just gathering my thoughts and need to find some time to write them out. I've been where you are a little.

Hope everyone is having a good day.


----------



## jlutgendorf

Congrats on your anniversary!







: I hope you enjoy your fancy dinner. It's nice to do those every now and then. I love the gifts of flowers!

Thanks for the thoughts on school&#8230;so much to think about!


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## Scribe

I can only speak to my own experience, Julia, but I got what I considered to be a "practical" master's degree, and I regret it. I paid nothing for it, but I wasted years of my life and I will never use it. It makes me more employable, for sure, but only doing things I don't actually want to do. So you have to find balance between what you enjoy and what is practical.

Happy Anniversary Rachel!


----------



## jlutgendorf

Thanks Grace. That's a good thing to keep in mind. I'm not sure about the MLIS. I think I would like that, but I don't know for sure. I'm going to sign up and volunteer at our library to see if that gives me a better idea.

I'm honestly unsure about the graphic design. I don't hate it, it's more like I hate certain aspects about the business end of the job. But I've only ever worked at one firm. I think I would really like working at a bigger place or in-house for larger company. But it's all guesses!

In other news, it's pouring rain here and I'm crampy and came in late to work. It's all very blaaaah.

oh wait! Here's an Izzy fun fact! I gave her a bath this weekend and it turns out she's missing a toe on one of her hind feet. I'm wondering if this explains some of her extreme clumsiness.


----------



## jlutgendorf

How was your fancy dinner last night Rachel?


----------



## BurtsGirl

l See blog for all the yummy action (last paragraph). It was amazing!
l
l
l
V


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## jlutgendorf

Sounds like it was a wonderful day!







:


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## BurtsGirl

Indeed! But the fun is over and now for the hard work...master bedroom remodel. We're doing ceiling and walls starting tonight. Scraping ceiling, peeling wallpaper, and painting. I'm looking forward to the end result but I'm in no mood to do the work, lol.


----------



## Who me?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jlutgendorf* 
Ok, here's something I've been wrestling with and I think you all can help (especially you Crystal, you hear that? you must come back and post).

I've been thinking about going back to school. The question is for what, where, full-time/part-time, money, etc.

Right now I'm considering either taking more classes in graphic design (probably one a semester/quarter so I could still work) or working towards a masters in Library Sciences.

THEN, when researching the many graphic design programs in the area, I realized I could get a masters in Illustration. Wow, that would be awesome, but honestly probably the least financially sane thing to do.

So, what's a good way of looking at all these options and figuring things out. Money is the biggest concern here, followed by job potential. The last time I had to look at different schools was almost 10 years ago and I had my parents help me out.







:

HA!!! I'm not the only one with the crazy!!! Ok deeeep breath. First question: what's your geographical limitations? Need to stay close to home? Same state? Or willing to pack up and head out to the great blue yonder? Let's start there. Plus still on blackberry.


----------



## Who me?

I'm baaaaack!!!

Ok, missed lots, must recap...

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jlutgendorf* 
I can't believe I forgot to mention this! My friend had her first set of tests on Friday, and the good news is that the lump she found isn't actually a lump. I guess it's just a more dense area of her breast tissue. So that's good, it's nothing to worry about.

Yay!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jlutgendorf* 
Congrats on your anniversary!







: I hope you enjoy your fancy dinner. It's nice to do those every now and then. I love the gifts of flowers!

Ditto!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Scribe* 
I can only speak to my own experience, Julia, but I got what I considered to be a "practical" master's degree, and I regret it. I paid nothing for it, but I wasted years of my life and I will never use it. It makes me more employable, for sure, but only doing things I don't actually want to do. So you have to find balance between what you enjoy and what is practical.


I totes agree with this. There is absolutely no point completely upheaving your life to pursue something that, in the end, may make you miserably employable. What's the point? My motive for returning to school is about 80% "this is what I really want to do with my life" and 20% practical, as in "this will help me get a good job". But really, I alreay have a "good" job, as in, permanent, good pay, benefits, possibilities for promotion etc etc. But as much as it's "good" and it's not all boring and there are some parts I actually enjoy, I'll never *really* be happy with it, so it's just going to fester and chew and eat at me until I have a nervous breakdown and fun off and join the circus. So, honestly, it's about 100% "this is what I really want to do" and I'm just lucky that the degree will also help me find work.

Really, though, ANY education is going to help you with employability. You're going to gain experience/knowledge/skills that you'll be able to apply to pretty much any job if you're creative about it. BUT you're more likely to get a job that you're going to enjoy if you train for a job you're going to enjoy.

Ok, I'm rambling.

I understand what a hard decision this is.

Here was my general decision-making process after I came to the very basic conclusion that I wanted to go back to school:

1. Is my DP willing to put up with potentially significant upheaval and a definite reduction of income? Check.

2. Am I willing to apply for every possible source of funding I can find or make up in order to reduce the financial upheaval as much as possible? Check. Will I put our family in a dangerous place financially (i.e. add on a ton of unreasonable debt) if I'm unable to get any funding? Probably. So a certain level of funding is an absolute must.

3. Am I willing to move in order to pursue this degree? No. Am I willing to /able to rent an appartment and live away from home for good chunks of time for four years. Maybe, but probably not. Am I willing to do a bit of a commute several days a week? Yes. Ok, then there are 4 universities that fit within this first criteria.

4. When is a reasonable time for me to start a program (this is based mainly on finances - we will have all our debt cleared by the fall - and term start times)? January 2010 at the earliest. Ok, so I need to find a program and a supervisor who can accomodate this.

5. What program am I really interested in pursuing? I have narrowed down my options mainly due to geography. I will now look over the web pages of every. single. lab. at the 4 universities that might be doing something even remotely interesting to me. I will add any that look "ok" to my list of ones to look at closer once I've done the first run-through. I will then whittle down the list by removing ones that really don't get me fired up.

6. I have my short list of possible labs. I will now contact the universities, some students in those labs, and finally the professors themselves to get as much information as possible about the programs and see if they can accomodate my needs in terms of start date and finances.

7. Am I willing to walk away from this idea if I don't find something that *really* interests me, fits within my criteria, and justifies this major upheaval? Check.

8. Did I find something that interests me? Check.

9. Do I now have gabillions of applications/proposals to write and tons of reading to do? Check.

This process, for me, started about last August/September.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jlutgendorf* 
Thanks Grace. That's a good thing to keep in mind. I'm not sure about the MLIS. I think I would like that, but I don't know for sure. I'm going to sign up and volunteer at our library to see if that gives me a better idea.

I'm honestly unsure about the graphic design. I don't hate it, it's more like I hate certain aspects about the business end of the job. But I've only ever worked at one firm. I think I would really like working at a bigger place or in-house for larger company. But it's all guesses!

I think guesses are ok. They're coming from some grain of truth or knowledge you already have. Sometimes it's very hard to know exactly what you want to do until you're actually doing it.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BurtsGirl* 
l See blog for all the yummy action (last paragraph). It was amazing!
l
l
l
V









:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BurtsGirl* 
Indeed! But the fun is over and now for the hard work...master bedroom remodel. We're doing ceiling and walls starting tonight. Scraping ceiling, peeling wallpaper, and painting. I'm looking forward to the end result but I'm in no mood to do the work, lol.









: I can so relate! You guys would not beleive what we got done the past two weeks! I haven't taken pics yet, because we're ALMOST done and I want pics of the actual final product, but suffice it to say, we're thrilled.


----------



## Scribe

Good to see you back, Crystal.

Y'all, I am swamped. There is so much I have to do I'm barely getting to anything I want to do, and I am kind of at that point where I don't feel like I am doing anything well. Grr...


----------



## jlutgendorf

:

Thank you Crystal! That's all very helpful. It gives me a lot to think about. I guess I need to start making some lists and figuring out a timeline&#8230;

When you all have the time (haha!) can you talk to me about how you all do these big projects? It seems like we start small to meduim house projects and they just go on forever&#8230;I'm guessing it's partly because we don't prepare for the project during the week and partly because, I'm out of shape and I get tired after several hours of work.







:

Grace, I'm sorry you're so slammed. I always get like that when things get crazy, and of course it doesn't help me deal with the crazy&#8230;what all do you have going on?


----------



## Who me?

Ha, we're not exactly the ones to give advice on getting big projects done. Pretty much all our projects are half-to-80% done. There honestly isn't a single room in the house where EVERYTHING is finished. We've been living in various levels of chaos (right now it's a pretty high level) for 4 years.







BUT the chaos is going to be significantly reduced after one more good weekend of work.

But yeah, we don't get anything done during the week, and when we do this kinda thing, it's an all-day marathon, like 12 hours at a stretch







:


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## jlutgendorf

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Who, me?* 
Ha, we're not exactly the ones to give advice on getting big projects done. Pretty much all our projects are half-to-80% done. There honestly isn't a single room in the house where EVERYTHING is finished. We've been living in various levels of chaos (right now it's a pretty high level) for 4 years.







BUT the chaos is going to be significantly reduced after one more good weekend of work.

But yeah, we don't get anything done during the week, and when we do this kinda thing, it's an all-day marathon, like 12 hours at a stretch








:

This actually makes me feel like less of a slacker!







To me, it seems like you guys are churning through these projects! I can't wait to see photos!

Rachel, how do you and Terri approach all your projects?


----------



## jlutgendorf

And I almost forgot again! d'oh. my friend had her second test yesterday and she said it wasn't nearly as bad as she thought it would be and they found nothing!







: no polyps, papillomas, tumors, anything.

So for now she's ok! If the discharge happens again she'll need to speak to a surgeon, but for now she doesn't need to stress.

So I'm going to go out, kidnap her from her family for a couple days and hopefully let her rest and relax. I'm going to see if one day we can afford to do a mini spa day of sorts, get our nails done and maybe a massage. I need to google for some places in town.


----------



## BurtsGirl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Scribe* 
Good to see you back, Crystal.

Y'all, I am swamped. There is so much I have to do I'm barely getting to anything I want to do, and I am kind of at that point where I don't feel like I am doing anything well. Grr...

Um, BIG DITTO!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jlutgendorf* 
Rachel, how do you and Terri approach all your projects?

Well we plan a weekend to tackle it. Then break down what needs to be done and what materials we will need. Then we decide if we have enough time to do everything on the weekend or if prep is needed. We always get the materials the weekend or week before. For example, this weekend's project needed some prep. We moved all the furniture out of our bedroom except for the bed last night. We'll move the bed today after work and get started today.

Planning saves a lot of time and trips to the store. Lowes and home depot have great return policies so if we buy to much or don't use something it's always better to take it back instead of stopping in the middle of the project and running to the store. Then we spent Friday after work and Sat and Sun getting the project done with small breaks.

Our bedroom has a lot that needs to be done so we've also broken a big project down into a small projects. Like doing the ceiling this weekend. (although we're hoping to get to the walls also but that make take into next week)

What motivates me is the final product I have in my head because I know I'll feel much better when its done.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jlutgendorf* 
no polyps, papillomas, tumors, anything.









: YAY!!!!


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## jlutgendorf

I just read your blog Rachel! You guys are beasts!

And your way of doing things is much better than ours!







We tend to wake up late on saturday, finish planning (mostly&#8230, go to home depot where I stress about the cost of things, come home, work for a bit but then it gets dark, wake up late sunday and go back to home depot because we didn't get everything we needed, i stress more about how much everything costs&#8230;lather rinse repeat until 3 months later when we've finally finished what we started!









I think for our next project we'll try it your way!

How was everyone's weekend? It POURED all day Sat. so I spent most of the day trying to get our taxes ready for our accountant. Such a slacker.

On Sunday we finished up a few house projects and did some cleaning. Still so much to do.

We're shotting a friend of friend's wedding this coming Sat. So I'm trying to get us organized and ready this week so we're prepared and relativly rested. (weddings are hard work!). This one should be fun as two sets of our friends will be there, plus Robert knows the bride, and I can't complain about the extra money!

In Izzy news, I think I'm going to write one of our local rescues today. His dad and Louise have agreed that they don't need a puppy in their life (thank god) and so far none of our contacts with friends have panned out. I'm hoping they can take her and we can foster her until she's either adopted or a different foster family wants to try her out.


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## BurtsGirl

It rained here all day Fri and Sat. We did get a lot accomplished this weekend and there's still more to do but I'm so exhausted, you guys. Seriously, I could fall over at my desk.

Julia, I forgot to mention something else. We also save and set a reasonable budget for the project. Do some research and always plan to spend a little more than you think you'll need. Like our sander crapped out on us when we were just starting the sanding so we had to go get another one.

I've just got way to much going on. I feel like I'm just trying to keep my head above water. Work is really picking up with a sales meeting we're preparing for and having my house a wreck and all the work in the bedroom that still needs to be done...*sigh*. I keep trying to look at one day at a time and that's the only thing keeping me sane at this point. Crystal, I don't know how you live in the chaos.

Crystal, you still need to show us some updated pictures of the fabulous little school house, girly!


----------



## Who me?

Rachel, I feel your pain about the ceiling scraping. The 20-ft wall over our woodstove had that kind of gross bumpiness so we scraped and plastered over the stuff. What a mess.

Yes, the chaos is mind-numbing sometimes. You either let is make you crazy or pretend it doesn't exist. I went for a 14-km run yesterday afternoon after Teh Giant Rain let up a bit, and DW went all crazylike trying to clean up a bit while I was gone. It's better.

I'm happy to report that the sanding is ALL DONE. With the exception of the master bedroom, which is now de-wallpapered, patched and sanded, the walls are ALL PAINTED, the stairs and handrails and trim are ALL PAINTED. With the exception of 4 window frames which I plan to tackle tonight, the frames are ALL PAINTED. The electrical is almost all finished, with the excection of ugly ceiling fan and master bedroom (all light switches/outlets/ceiling lights replaced). We've put up some curtains, and are going to do a little more shopping tomorrow for accessories, and a small chaise for the fireplace room. It's looking killer.

I PROMISE to get pics soon.


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## BurtsGirl

YAY!!!! Crystal, just hearing your progress motivates me. Hope I can come say tomorrow that the sanding is ALL done!


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## jlutgendorf

You guys are awesome! (now please come and work on my house!







)


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## BurtsGirl

LOL @ Julia. I told Terri this weekend that with all the work we're doing on this house, there is no way I'm moving again!

Update: The sanding is ALL DONE!!!!







:
Today during lunch we're doing the clean up and tonight the ceiling should be primed and painted! YEAHNESS!


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## jlutgendorf

Awesome!

How are you going to paint? I'm excited to see people's pictures!


----------



## Scribe

You all are SO ambitious! Gah. It's all I can do to just go to work.


----------



## jlutgendorf

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Scribe* 
You all are SO ambitious! Gah. It's all I can do to just go to work.

Fo Realz. I could use some of your energy over here!


----------



## jlutgendorf

How's everyone today? I'm dead tired. I finally realized that getting only 5ish hours of sleep a night might not be enough. Of course this means I have to start going to bed earlier, which will be&#8230;interesting.

I was reading your blog Rachel and wanted to talk more about food (since you and Crystal have the food awesomeness).

I'm trying to wrap my head around dieting vs. making healthy choices when eating. I've never dieted, and I know they're not that effective anyway, but I've also never (until now) really had to think about what I eat, I just had a fairly active lifestyle and a kick ass metabolism.

So&#8230;this is probably dumb&#8230;but how do you be more "grown up" about your eating choices? I don't know if that will make sense to anyone but me!









But I guess I feel like I'm at a point where I need to be more health concious, and I do lots of things (pay bills, have a job, etc.) that I don't LOVE, but that I need to do to be responsible to myself and my family. But with food, it's like it's this reward that I get, which means a lot of what I eat isn't so great. I need to get into a different way of thinking about it. And it's weird too because I like most "healthy" foods, but I'll still have a soda if I'm feeling grumpy.

Did that make any sense?


----------



## Who me?

I'll join you in the deadtiredness. I took the day off work yesterday but spent all of it painting. Is it Friday yet?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jlutgendorf* 
I'm trying to wrap my head around dieting vs. making healthy choices when eating. I've never dieted, and I know they're not that effective anyway, but I've also never (until now) really had to think about what I eat, I just had a fairly active lifestyle and a kick ass metabolism.

So&#8230;this is probably dumb&#8230;but how do you be more "grown up" about your eating choices? I don't know if that will make sense to anyone but me!









But I guess I feel like I'm at a point where I need to be more health concious, and I do lots of things (pay bills, have a job, etc.) that I don't LOVE, but that I need to do to be responsible to myself and my family. But with food, it's like it's this reward that I get, which means a lot of what I eat isn't so great. I need to get into a different way of thinking about it. And it's weird too because I like most "healthy" foods, but I'll still have a soda if I'm feeling grumpy.

Did that make any sense?

That all makes sense. You are very lucky with the metabolismness. I have a metabolism that hates me. I look at fries and they turn into 5 lbs. Anyhoos.

The first thing you say about diets not working is bang-on. They don't work, mostly because they involve unrealistic restrictions either in terms of what or how much you can eat. Oh yeah, plus they suck @ss.

But this really speaks to the crux of the matter, and kinda ties in with what Rachel was saying on her blog: we've lost sight of what food actually IS and have developed really, really strange relationships with it. We eat all kinds of things that are terribly bad for us even when nutritious alternatives are available. Food is no longer the thing we must consume in order to fuel and nourish our bodies, it is a comfort, a treat, a reward, a punishment. It's all wrapped up in emotions rather than need.

I for one can say with total certainty that I am 100% an emotional eater, and a really horrible one at that. I have ongoing, daily battles with food, which are completely wrapped up in how I'm feeling. For example, today is a sh-tty day. I'm in a foul mood. DW and I had a tiff last night and SHE's in a foul mood. I'm overtired. So, rather than think..."Hmmm, I should get more sleep, do something nice for myself, go for a run tonight to blow off steam, and talk to a friend about how I'm feeling" I have instead been obsessing all morning about going downstairs to the cafe and getting some gloppy, sweet, fatty junk food. As if that will "fix" it. My willpower is almost at "zero" right now and odds are pretty good I'm going to go do it.

I think it's extremely difficult to develop healthy, "adult" relationships with food because of these kinds of emotional hangups. So good for you for even thinking about it









DW did the "I'm a grownup now and I want to do this for my future" food overhaul last year. She was metabolically blessed and able to eat pretty much anything she wanted, but now she's more concerned about her health and longevity, and sees what a poor diet has done to her own parents' health. I think this is a good reason for wanting to make changes. It's definitely an adult way to approach food choices.

I'm trying to model my own habits after this ideal, but I'm not honestly there yet. I KNOW I should eat better simply for health's sake. But I'm not really there mentally or emotionally. My motives pretty much boil down to vanity and not wanting DW to be disappointed in me. Sigh. Not very adult-ish. I'm probably not the best person to say "how" to make those choices because of this, but I will say that one of the best things for keeping me on track (other than later today when I go downstairs and stuff my face with chocolate







) is having my partner on board with it. I can't imagine trying to make good food choices on a daily basis if she was eating pop and chips and pizza in front of me all the time. It seriously wouldn't work. So, if it becomes a family affair, it's easier to incorporate into the day-to-day stuff.

Hmm... I think this turned into a tangent. Did I just threadjack?


----------



## jlutgendorf

You totes didn't thread jack!









Well, I'm also trying to think more about this/act on it because my awesome metabolism is slowing down and my life is much less physically active (why doesn't stress burn calories dammit!). So I've been gaining weight slowly but steadily. I'm actually kind of inspired by my mom, who got really sick this past year and it's motivated her to eat better and exercise more and she's loosing wieght and keeping it off. It's just very inspiring. Of course she's had a health scare to be her motivator. I don't want to have to get to that point where it takes something serious to change my habits though, yk?

I'm also a VERY emotional eater. Both me and Robert are actually, which is totes not heplful when we've both had really stressful days. :eyeroll

*So, rather than think..."Hmmm, I should get more sleep, do something nice for myself, go for a run tonight to blow off steam, and talk to a friend about how I'm feeling" I have instead been obsessing all morning about going downstairs to the cafe and getting some gloppy, sweet, fatty junk food. As if that will "fix" it.*

I was thinking about this last night actually. I think this is what I need to get better at. Not defaulting to food as a way to deal with stress.


----------



## Who me?

O

M

G

This is the loooongest most excrutiating day ever. It's pitch black outside, raining, cold, and it feels like it should be time for me to go home. But it's not.








:

Waaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!

Sighs. Oh well. I've been surprisingly productive. I guess there's that.


----------



## BurtsGirl

*Raising hand* Another emotional eater here so not much help. I think it's ok to eat when your emotional but I need to learn to stop at just one cookie or one piece of cake. I tend to binge when life is stressful, I'm upset, etc. I also tend to use food for entertainment. I eat when I'm bored. So we all have our hang ups with food and that's pretty much where the industry wants us.

As for what I wrote I am planning to try all those steps. I'm off the soda as of today but it is more about how we _view_ food than how we _eat_ food. It's more about _what_ we eat instead of _how much_ we eat, for me. I am a foodie and I'll always be a foodie. I was a fat kid and I'll always be over weight. For me it's about eating for a more sustainable planet and healthier earth. The healthier me, just comes with all that.

I don't know if I'll be successful. I've tried in the past and will do well for a while. This time feels a little different but we'll have to see. Not sure that helped much but it's my 2 cents.


----------



## jlutgendorf

I'm unbanned again!







:

I have to admit, Rachel, I tried to ban you yesterday







: but wound up banning myself instead!









So we went to bed at like 10:30 last night! I still woke up late, but don't feel as tired. I do have a killer headache though, I think due to allergies or something&#8230;but hooray for extra sleep!


----------



## Who me?

sleep is your friend, Julia
















Sleepy and a tad sore here, but significantly less foul. DW decided to run with me last night. I had to to 6 sets of hill sprints. Owie. Poor DW hates running, and that was a doozy. She was a trooper though







My half marathon is coming up soon! Only 7 more weeks, eeks!!!


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## BurtsGirl

What? Why are you banning me and what is banned? Little sneak! Explain your conspiracy!


----------



## Scribe

Hey all,

Sorry I haven't been posting much. I'm following along, just not feeling it lately. And still extraordinarily busy.

I did make some new scented bath stuff last night, though, and I have a new combo I am love with--vanilla and grapefruit. SO great together. Who knew?


----------



## jlutgendorf

Did you see the April fools thingy at the top of the page yesterday? It let you put in a username and how many days you wanted to ban them from the forums. So I put in your name and the minimum of 3 days!







I figured you'd be least likely to yell at me!









But then when you hit ban, you end up banning yourself! That's what I get&#8230;


----------



## Who me?

niiiiicee!









I totes missed that.

Grace, good thing you stuck your head in here, I was just about to to a big, bold and magenta "where aaaarrrreee yyyoooouuu????". Well, you still get the magenta. But big and bold would be overkill.


----------



## jlutgendorf

oooo, vanilla and grapefruit sounds interesting!

Good news, our accountant just called and we're getting money back this year!







:

This is the first year we get money back! We've been working really hard to pay off back taxes from when Robert started his business and didn't know anything about how the taxes are calculated. I'm so glad that we have someone to do our taxes, he's told us how to record everything and plan throughout the year for tax time and it's finally paying off! woo hoo!

Now we need to be responsible and figure out what to do with our return before we get it!


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## BurtsGirl

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Julia that was totes awesome.

PS. I would have yelled at you.







:


----------



## jlutgendorf

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BurtsGirl* 
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Julia that was totes awesome.

PS. I would have yelled at you.







:









:









I still have a headache! and i'm unmotivated.







:


----------



## BurtsGirl

Weekend!!!! YAY!!!!! We are taking some MUCH needed and MUCH deserved R&R! Terri's Birthday is Monday so I'm taking her up to a cabin in the mountains where she can fly fish until her heart is content. Me and Rascal will be curled up on the front porch of the cabin reading and journaling or just relaxing and watching the woods. We'll make yummy food and drink wine and not think about what's still left to do in the bedroom. Although we did sleep there last night and man does it look awesome!

Hope everyone has a great weekend.


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## jlutgendorf

Sounds wonderful! What a nice trip it should be.

We're shooting a wedding on Sat. which means we'll be passed out on Sunday. No plans other than that.

Oh and I totes biffed up a print job at work today. Because i has teh dumb. So now I'm reprinting it. It's pretty small, 200 copies, but it's taking FOREVER.


----------



## Who me?

DW and I are going to toodle around town tomorrow for most of the day, get some quotes on new flooring, pick up a few finishing odds and ends like curtain rods, and maybe get a couple of spring clothes. Rachel, your weekend sounds like da bomb!!!


----------



## jlutgendorf

Did everyone survive the weekend? How was your trip Rachel? And happy birthday to Terri!







:

We survived the wedding. It was much shorter than a lot of wedding we shoot, so that was nice. However, I think I was finally introduced to the true definition of "country". And it involved fer real sweet tea and free range hound dogs at the reception. Seriously, there were just all these dogs running around around all these fancy dressed wedding people. One muddy puppy curled up amongst the guests and fell asleep!

Some people even brought their dogs. It was just so weird (but I got to pet some nice dogs!).

Then we slept in a lot on Sunday and tried to take the dogs running/jogging/walking at the cemetery. Robert and I split up (because he is fast and in shape and I am not) and I didn't know it, but Keira was being spooky and she tripped him and he totally wiped out, scraped himself up really badly. He managed to fall so that he didn't hurt either Keira or Aggie, so that was good. By the time he found me, he was sore and bloody and in a bad mood! Poor guy.


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## Who me?

awwwws, poor Robert









We had a busy and productive weekend. DW got the first coat of paint on the bedroom, I finished painting the kitchen cupboards and got the hardware put on, and we did a bit of a shop-o-thon, coming home with a little freezer for dog food, some nice curtain rods and curtains, and a full-length mirror for the bedroom. I wimped out on my run yesterday so have to make up for it this evening, which I am now regretting because there is SNOW out there right now


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## BurtsGirl

Dogs at a wedding does sound odd but also fun. Not sure I'd do it at mine but to each their own, huh? Ouchie for Robert. That did not sound like a fun run.

Crystal, Yay for progress. My house is still a wreck although not as much so. I'm hoping to finish up this week but we'll see. We still have so much to do. The accent wall color is not working for us so we're going to repaint that one wall, probably tomorrow. Still need to add crown molding and the light fixture and we'll be able to move back in fully. Kitchen cabinets are the worst, especially if you have a lot of them.

Our weekend went so great. It was just what we needed, some R&R. Terri had a great time fishing and we did a hike also. I took a ton of pictures and did a recap in my blog. Rascal enjoyed himself thoroughly and was wiped out by the time we got home. Today is her actual birthday and we're going out for dinner with some friends.

Even with the R&R I still feel like everything is going by so fast and we have too much to do. We need to finish the bedroom and this weekend we're going back out of town with some friends to the lake to kayak and hang out. Should be fun but I need some down time. I'd also like to fit in some clothes shopping this week, but we'll have to wait and see. Fortunately after this weekend our calendar looks so much better!


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## Scribe

I had a good weekend right up until the migraine from hell hit last night. I was in crippling pain for about 10 hours and am now coming out of it and feeling strung-out and hung-over from the meds. Gah.


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## Who me?

I'm sorry to hear about the migrane, Grace. They can be inhumanly awful







Glad you're checking in with us though!







:


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## Scribe

I'm back to 100% today.

This is what I did over the weekend.

This is what Mark did.


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## jlutgendorf

Those looks awesome Grace! You both were busy.

So here's a running question for you Crystal, does it ever get easier?







I'm doing the Couch to 5k thingy, and my god was the first one hard!

Also, do you have any take on running vs swimming in terms of fitness and overall weight control? I used to swim competitivly in college but I haven't been in the pool in a long time. Right now it's easier for me to find places and time to run, but I think I would have more stamina in the pool since I'm used to it (plus all those flip turns are like a built in abs workout!).

Rachel your weekend looks like it was so nice! I wonder where on the South Toe River you were? A place we stay at up in Celo is near parts of that river.


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## Who me?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Scribe* 

This is what Mark did.

OMG, you have GREEN? I'm so insanely jealous. We just have grey. And mud. And most depressingly today, another 2 inches of snow.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jlutgendorf* 
Those looks awesome Grace! You both were busy.

So here's a running question for you Crystal, does it ever get easier?







I'm doing the Couch to 5k thingy, and my god was the first one hard!

*Yes, I swear to god it does. The first time I ever "went for a run", I think I went a total distance of 1km, walked for at least half of it, and thought I was going to die at the end. The trick is to build up both the distance and the amount of time you run veeeeerrrrry slowly, or else it's just going to suck and you're liable to get injured.*

Also, do you have any take on running vs swimming in terms of fitness and overall weight control? I used to swim competitivly in college but I haven't been in the pool in a long time. Right now it's easier for me to find places and time to run, but I think I would have more stamina in the pool since I'm used to it (plus all those flip turns are like a built in abs workout!).

I *am a terrible swimmer, so I can't really comment too much. I think either offers the potential for a great workout, it's all about the output you give. You could do a really lazy [email protected] swim and not benefit as much as a moderately strenuous jog, or vice-versa. It's more about your intensity, heart rate, etc.*

Rachel your weekend looks like it was so nice! I wonder where on the South Toe River you were? A place we stay at up in Celo is near parts of that river.


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## jlutgendorf

Ok, good to know that it won't always be this hard!









In other news&#8230;remember the stray mom dog I was talking about some time ago? Well, I think we have two of her puppies here at work with us now. Because we nutz.

One of our neighbors (who isn't quite all there) was walking around with two puppies that look like they could be hers. He asked us to watch them while he does&#8230;something (couldn't understand him)&#8230;and he would be back for them in three days. So like suckers we said yes. Mom dog is still running around, so I don't know if we should take them back to the house she seems to live at or see if we can't get in touch with another neighbor that has rescued and rehomed puppies from our neighborhood before.

They're very cute and surprisingly fat and happy and have good coats, though very dirty and they were very thirsty.

I'll see if Robert can take some photos and you all can breed guess. For sure some lab (mom was a lab or lab mix, if I'm right and these are her pups).

I would also appreciate a smack on the head so that we stop doing crazy things like this!

And we're also having snow flurries today. Thank you insane weather.


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## BurtsGirl

Grace, sorry for the migraine, but yay for progress. Looks like you guys were busy!

Julia, Celo was near by. We didn't go there but it was supposedly up the road. Was that the blueberry farm you guys stayed at? And you're getting snow? Really? We haven't seen any here but it's cold and so freaking windy.

Crystal, when do you guys normally warm up?


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## Who me?

Julia, is it possible the roly-polies have worms?

Rachel, the weather is always weird up here in the spring. Three weeks ago we were at +18 Celcius. Today we're at -4 Celcius and snow is coming in sideways. It's a crapshoot pretty much from March until the end of May...we could get freezing temps/snow up until then (although it would be more rare in May). It's such a tease, just when you think spring is finally here...







:


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## jlutgendorf

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BurtsGirl* 
Grace, sorry for the migraine, but yay for progress. Looks like you guys were busy!

Julia, Celo was near by. We didn't go there but it was supposedly up the road. Was that the blueberry farm you guys stayed at? And you're getting snow? Really? We haven't seen any here but it's cold and so freaking windy.

Crystal, when do you guys normally warm up?

We stay at a blueberry/lavender/dairy goat farm. Mountain Farm is the name.

Just little flurries. Nothing that will stick or be fun to play in, sadly!


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## jlutgendorf

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Who, me?* 
Julia, is it possible the roly-polies have worms?

Rachel, the weather is always weird up here in the spring. Three weeks ago we were at +18 Celcius. Today we're at -4 Celcius and snow is coming in sideways. It's a crapshoot pretty much from March until the end of May...we could get freezing temps/snow up until then (although it would be more rare in May). It's such a tease, just when you think spring is finally here...







:

They totes have worms. One of them was scooting on the grass. I think we can get a wormer for them. Joanna gave me a worming schedule a bit back when some friends had a puppy dumped in there yard.

Damn! That's cold! You're a beast for going out and running!


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## Who me?

You think THAT'S cold???







wimp! It frequently gets down to -20 to -30 Celcius in the winter, not counting windchill, which can put it down in the -40's on really bad days. And yes, I ran in that too. Grrrrr!


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## jlutgendorf

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Who, me?* 
You think THAT'S cold???







wimp! It frequently gets down to -20 to -30 Celcius in the winter, not counting windchill, which can put it down in the -40's on really bad days. And yes, I ran in that too. Grrrrr!



















I grew up in Arizona. Anything below 50 makes me cranky! You are a beast!

Now how hot does it get in the summer? I bet I've got you beat there!


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## Who me?

We max out around +38 Celcius. Typical would be 25-32 range.


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## BurtsGirl

They don't call it HOTlanta for nuthing! I used to prefer the cold, the older I get though, the wimper I am. Although I still enjoy sweat shirt, jeans, and a cozy fire.


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## jlutgendorf

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Who, me?* 
We max out around +38 Celcius. Typical would be 25-32 range.

Tucson typically gets up to around 43 C, but can go as high as 48/49 (that's 110-120 for the americans). Where's the sweating smilie?

In Atlanta, we probably get no hotter than you. But it's humid! They keep telling me that makes a difference.

Let's just say I don't think I can live much more north than I already am!


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## jlutgendorf

oh god. the beasts have awoken. Barkscreaming is commencing. The girl puppy is feisty! She's clearly the boss. The boy puppy is very quiet, unless I've taken his sister out to potty.


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## Scribe

I am definitely going to miss the southern warmth when we leave Austin. I am sort of looking forward to having seasons again, though.


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## jlutgendorf

That is one thing I do like about Atlanta. I never knew what spring was until I moved here, and it's great! In Tucson we just had hot and less hot.

The DC area (that's where you're going, right Grace?) is very pretty!


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## Scribe

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jlutgendorf* 

The DC area (that's where you're going, right Grace?) is very pretty!

Yup, that's where we're headed.


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## jlutgendorf

Well, we learned what happened to the other pups.







Robert talked to a neighbor who said he had been trying to feed the litter. He thinks we've got the only two surviving dogs, the rest were picked off by cars.









Our neighbor says to just consider them ours, he's pretty sure that the family the mom belongs to doesn't want them.

Here's some photos. The two of them sleeping:
http://eyeonlinemedia.smugmug.com/ph...89_zetw6-M.jpg

The boy puppy being submissive: http://eyeonlinemedia.smugmug.com/ph...49_bmRbR-M.jpg

Being perky: http://eyeonlinemedia.smugmug.com/ph...91_ATDic-M.jpg

We're going to try and take "glamour shots" of them tonight. And start emailing around about them. Robert might already have a lead with one of our friends.


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## BurtsGirl

Awwwww dems is so cute! *repeating to herself* we do not need another dog, Terri would be mad. We do not need another dog, Terri would be mad.

Grace have your guys set a moving date? Are you excited or not-so-much?


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## jlutgendorf

F#@K.

I'm sorry to derail, but where we work was broken into last night. They only took Robert's computer and monitor, but he owned them himself. And they had all his files. Like ALL the photos of the wedding we just shot.

I'm in shock and just trying to tell myself it's ok. This won't destroy our lives. There will be some hard work, but we're going to be ok.

The puppies are still cute and happy, which is very good. damn.


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## Scribe

Oh Julia, that SUCKS. I'm so sorry.

No, we don't have a date yet. Late summer/early fall is as narrowed down as we're going to be for a bit.


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## BurtsGirl

Julia, how horrible. Does he do a back up anywhere? I'm so sorry, sweets. I know you guys will recover. Keep the puppies, I mean positives, in front of you.


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## jlutgendorf

I don't know what all is backed up. This computer WAS our back up. I have found our memory cards from the wedding and we still have some photos! Robert must not have wiped them yet, so we might not be screwed there.

What's going to suck is all his source files for his freelance clients might be gone. I don't know. And my boss just told me that she has no business insurance.







So I guess we're going to see if our home owners will cover it. Because we are also dumb and haven't gotten biz insurance for Robert.

I will def. be cuddling puppies later today.


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## Who me?

aaak! How did I miss all this stuff today???!?!?!

Holy puppy cuteness!

Holy horrible awful news about the break-in!!! WTF!!!


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## jlutgendorf

How's everyone today? Crystal, can you share your job drama, or is that too much to put out on the interwebs? Either way, I'm sorry it sounds like your boss isn't doing a good job!

We've found a lot of the wedding photos. Some memory cards hadn't been wiped and Robert found a software program that helped recover some additional photos from the cards that were erased, so I don't think it's a disaster on that front. It's crazy how many files we've lost, I can't quite think about it all yet.

The puppies are still as cute as ever. Some of our friends watched them for us during the day yesterday (as well as Aggie and Izzy!), plus their two dogs. Here's the result: http://www.new.facebook.com/photo.ph...7&id=640767080

http://www.new.facebook.com/photo.ph...8&id=640767080

One of Robert's friends may be interested in one, and Robert is in love with the boy







. He's going to have to fence in our yard and find a new home for Izzy before anything like us keeping a puppy happens though!


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## Scribe

Awww!!! Look at those little baby puppies! So cute.

I'm glad at least some stuff was recoverable, Julia. Gah. What a nightmare.

Did your bath stuff come yet?


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## jlutgendorf

No, but our post office has teh slow. For some reason things sent first class can take weeks to get to us. I don't know what the deal is, but it's pretty common.


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## jlutgendorf

Super busy over here, but I thought I would leave you all with some puppy glamour photos!

http://eyeonlinemedia.smugmug.com/ga...09276482_Vqc4p


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## Scribe

My LORD the cute!

The pups have some bully in them, huh?


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## Scribe

#99 is awesome.

Robert is such a great pet photographer!


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## jlutgendorf

They probably do. Mom is for sure a lab or lab mix. If we're right about dad, he's shepherd looking, but HIS mom (how scary is it that I can recite mutt puppy pedigrees) was clearly a stubby pit mix. The puppies look more like their grandma than like their dad.

Of course, mom is free range and we've also got a free ranging GSD, a boxer/pit mix, a couple of chow mixes&#8230;


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## jlutgendorf

I'm flying out to AZ in just a bit. I probably won't have internet for a few days (scary!).

Grace, the bath stuff arrived yesterday and is SO NICE! I'm excited to try them out.

We still have puppies, there's been some drama but everyone is ok. I hope Robert doesn't divorce me for leaving him with all the animals!


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## Who me?

Safe travels, Julia







:

I'm back from a much-needed long weekend







Feeling much better overall, but manohmanalive was that a craptacular week last week.

In the interest of being a tad cautious, I'm not going to go into great detail about what happened. Decisions were made that I think are horribly unfair to some people. Our people made a mistake/oversight in planning, something unexpected happened that threw us for a loop, but rather than being lenient and not penalizing the clients and dealing with possible repercussions ourselves, we are pursuing a course of action which is almost certainly going to result in the disqualification of at least one group of people from a competitive process. I think we're changing the rules mid-stream, and it's not fair or ethical. I had at least two hairy canaries over it in front of my immediate boss, and one in from of our VP (both involving tears, unfortunately, that's just how my body react to rage sometimes).

I am following through on what our team has been asked to do, but I'm feeling awfully squidgy about it. I've voiced my objections (strongly) verbally and in writing, and there's nothing more I can do other than quit. Which I'm planning to do at the end of the year anyways, and maybe I can still have a positive influence on this process in the meantime.

ANYhoo. How are the rest of y'all doing?


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## BurtsGirl

Still here. Haven't been getting email updates though,









Julia, the cuteness! I am loving the boy one and the rainbow collars! Travel safe, girlie, and have a good time with your friend!

Grace, how are things over your way? Work? Animals? Life? Mark?

Crystal, I think you're taking the right approach, or at least attitude, to the work issue. Can't wait to see your reno pics!

AAM: We took our weekend trip with some friends this weekend. I've got a lot of mixed up stuff in my head right now that I'm trying to sort out about it all. My issues, I own them. Just trying to deal with them and move past them. Bedroom is coming along. Should be close to done next week sometime. More later, been busy at work also.


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## Who me?

do you want to share a bit, Rachel, or do you need some time to mull?







:


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## BurtsGirl

I definitely want to share just need to find some time to type it all out. Maybe tomorrow.


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## Scribe

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BurtsGirl* 
Grace, how are things over your way? Work? Animals? Life? Mark?

In a word, hectic. I have too much work and too little time and brainpower. It's all good stuff, but I'm kind of short of words these days.


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## BurtsGirl

I think I've decided to keep this in my head for a little while longer. It's really just stupid, childish BS. When you think you want something and then when you get it and you really, really, don't want it at all.

I do have one thing to share that's been bugging me. This past weekend we had this game of questions. One question that was asked that has really been bothering me is, in your un-humble opinion, what one characteristic or part of your personality do your friends like most about you? I couldn't answer the question... My self esteem has taken a huge hit lately and I'm struggling with that. It's also the cause of some other issues. I'm not sure what to do about it though. Kind of just hoping it passes.


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## Who me?

for busy Grace.








for Rachel. Sounds like you're working on some difficult stuff. For the first thing, don't chide yourself for being "childish"...feelings are valid even if they seem superficial. There's a good reason why you're feeling the way you are, and it's ok.

As for the second thing...gads, I'd have a tough time with that question too. I'm a crap friend. I have absolutely zero friends IRL. None. Nada. There's one person at work with whom I could say I've developed a very compatible "work friendship", but that's it. I had the question asked slightly differently before, "what characteristics would your partner say she likes best about you?" I couldn't answer that one either, and it sucked. I probably would still have a hard time answering it.







Rachel, I've been (or am still) there too. Can you articulate why your self-esteem is hurting right now?

If you don't mind, I wanted to ask y'all something too. We spent easter with my MIL, SIL/BIL and their little guy Jacob. Now, don't get me wrong, we LOVE being aunties, but I was starting to get a little miffed about something (totally NOT something that anybody was overtly trying to imply/do, but still): I started to get the distinct feeling that DW and I are still thought of as "kids", despite being 30/40 yrs old, simply because we have no children. It's like having kids is the rite of passage you need to go through in order to become true "adults" in the eyes of your parents/family members. There seems to be an unspoken expectation that you'll spend time entertaining the little ones and be happy to sit at the "kids table" monitoring them while the "real grownups" do whatever it is that real grownups do. (Now, honestly, I didn't mind sitting with lil' Jacob because, you know, family holiday drama is boring and, like, two year olds are fascinating creatures and often make much better company). Anyone else seeing this dynamic?


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## BurtsGirl

Crystal, first, thank you for such a wonderful reply. It reminded me why I love this little group of ours. I could answer the partner question easily but the friends thing just kind of got me. It later came to me that my dependability and stability are some good characteristics that my friends probably love about me. But it took me two days to come up with that.

Self esteem
Not being able to come up with some good answers to some of those questions this weekend didn't help. I'm not really good on my feet like that and it made me realize how little I still know or am certainly about myself.

Pictures were taken this weekend and they are hideous. The amount of weight I've put on is starting to get to me. I am, even before the pictures, changing some eating habits but it will take time. I'm not dieting or weighing myself so it will just be small changes one at a time which means slower weight loss. Although I know that's good, those pictures where major owies.

Friendships in general. I talked a while back about a friendship issue I was having and I'm still struggling with it. This weekend made things a little worse. I sort of feel like I'm back in high school and am not measuring up. There's some jealousy on my part, some of which I feel is justified, some not justified at all. I'm not sure if I need to come out with my feelings or just try to move past it. I'm pretty sure nothing good will come from airing my feelings, so I'm just trying to figure out how to deal with them and move on.

Work is helping because I'm getting some positive feedback and accomplishing a good bit here. I'm getting back into my routine and that's helping also. I'm also pursuing other friendships and that's always fun.

I think I just got a nice bump on the head. Maybe a reality check just trying to figure out what to take from it and what to leave. I haven't been journaling very much lately but I'll be starting back very soon. I have some "stuff" to get out of me and onto paper.

Crystal, to answer your question, yes. That dynamic used to happen in my family but it was because I was more comfortable with the kids (and still am to a degree) than I was with the drama of the adults. I put myself in that role and it stuck there until I made it clear I was moving from that role and it shouldn't be expected of me. Conversations in my family are normally about the kids, which also bored me because I had none. So now I try to steer the conversation toward topics I can also contribute too like work, politics, or community. I think also your birth order in the family also plays a part. I am the oldest so unless I chose to just hang out with the kids I'm with the adults. I could see how the baby of the family would still be stuck in that role unintentionally.

I know this is a long post but I got one more question for you, Crystal. How do you like not having any IRL friends? Do you find that your comfortable with it or is friendship something you long for? I swear some days I'd love to be the loner and other days I can't surround myself with enough people. Do you get bored?

Ok, so that was more than one question...


----------



## Who me?

I







: you guys too!!!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BurtsGirl* 
I'm not really good on my feet like that and it *made me realize how little I still know or am certainly about myself*.

Yeah that. It's kind of alarming/off-putting that, at the age of almost-30, I still don't have a clear vision of myself that is not in the context of other people's perceptions of who I am. I have a strong suspicion that I'm a person who is very good at wearing many different "hats" depending on who I'm with, and none of them are 100% accurate reflections of who I actually am.







: I don't like that.

*Pictures were taken this weekend and they are hideous.* \

I understand this too. It's funny (but not really) how a photograph can be so totally devastating to our perception of ourselves. We all have mental picture of what we look like/who we are, and sometimes the camera is cruel. I actually have NO photographs of myself from the ages of about 7 to about 19. I was so freaking unhappy during that time that looking at those pictures just devastates me, so I don't see the point in having them.

The amount of weight I've put on is starting to get to me. I am, even before the pictures, changing some eating habits but it will take time. I'm not dieting or weighing myself so *it will just be small changes one at a time which means slower weight loss.* Although I know that's good, those pictures where major owies.

Give it time, and give yourself time. Making changes is not easy. Even a year after DW and I made big changes I still struggle and still turn to food in unhealthy ways. The important thing is, you're working on small steps, and every little bit helps. No one expects you to be perfect right away, or ever for that matter. But yeah, you WILL start to see and feel changes. Hang in there.

I think I just got a nice bump on the head. Maybe a reality check just trying to figure out what to take from it and what to leave. I haven't been journaling very much lately but I'll be starting back very soon. I *have some "stuff" to get out of me and onto paper.*

Sounds like a good idea.

Crystal, to answer your question, yes. That dynamic used to happen in my family but it was because I was more comfortable with the kids (and still am to a degree) than I was with the drama of the adults. I put myself in that role and it stuck there *until I made it clear I was moving from that role and it shouldn't be expected of me*. Conversations in my family are normally about the kids, which also bored me because I had none. So now I try to steer the conversation toward topics I can also contribute too like work, politics, or community. I think also your birth order in the family also plays a part. I am the oldest so unless I chose to just hang out with the kids I'm with the adults. I could see how the baby of the family would still be stuck in that role unintentionally.

I'm the oldest, as is Kim, and our younger sibs have the kiddos. That bit I bolded seems like the main issue: it really is my responsibility to define my own role in the family. I guess I need to be a bit more assertive there. Honestly, though, there's a bit of guilt involved 'cause I think "they parent full-time and here I am complaining about babysitting for a few hours, and really I should cherish the opportunities I have to spend time with these kids".

I know this is a long post but I got one more question for you, Crystal. How do you like not having any IRL friends? Do you find that your comfortable with it or is friendship something you long for? I swear some days I'd love to be the loner and other days I can't surround myself with enough people. Do you get bored?

Ok, so that was more than one question...

On the last thing, I'm definitely at a stage right now where I want IRL friends. I was a loner, mainly by choice for most of my childhood/teen years. In university I found a small group of really great friends that I lived with for several years and spent a lot of time with, plus I had a whole bunch of acquaintances/"fun friends"...I had stuff to do/people to hang out with pretty much every weekend and often during the week. I know that was student life and not very reflective of an adult/grownup lifestyle, but I miss it. I enjoy my down time at home and my time with Kim, but I really wish that we/I could just hang out with some other people from time to time. The hard thing is, where to meet these people? We don't really have any hobbies that we could share with others, and we live in such a tiny tight-knit community. We could meet people in town where we work, but most people aren't keen on the hour-long drive from town to our place.







:


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## BurtsGirl

Quote:

I have a strong suspicion that I'm a person who is very good at wearing many different "hats" depending on who I'm with, and none of them are 100% accurate reflections of who I actually am.
Ditto in big bold print with pokadots and a hat.

Quote:

there's a bit of guilt involved 'cause I think "they parent full-time and here I am complaining about babysitting for a few hours, and really I should cherish the opportunities I have to spend time with these kids".
Unless you were the one who chose to have these kids you are not responsible for them in any way, shape, or form. What you give to them should not be an expectation, it should be your choice and appreciated. There are no built in babysitters when you have a child, not friends, not siblings, not anyone.

Just to give you a suggestion, maybe meet some people in the town you work and hang out during the week when you're both in town after work. You can go to their house, happy hour after work for a few drinks, or dinner out. Then a few times of year invite them over to your place, maybe for the weekend.

I know what you mean about childhood friendships. It was hard to adjust to adult friendships. When you're used to seeing your friends everyday because of school or you lived with them and now you're lucky to meet up once a month. It's tough. It's tougher when your friends are parents and have different responsibilities and priorities than you do also.

Crystal are you on facebook yet?


----------



## Who me?

no, not on Facebook...partially b/c we don't have interwebz at home and I'm blocked at work







and mainly partially b/c I don't feel capable of possibly having to interact with people from my past. I've been on a few times just to look around and the few people I'd be interested in reconnecting with are all "friends" with all the people from highschool etc. who couldn't give me the time of day back then. Maybe it's petty holding on to those grudges, but that's how I feel.


----------



## BurtsGirl

Crystal, bummer. facebook is da bomb.

I just had lunch with DW and we had a great talk. She put some things into perspective and made me look at the situation in a healthier way. God, I love her. I swear she's the best, best friend in the world and she so f*ing hot to boot. So I'm feeling a little better. I think I just needed to talk it out a little.


----------



## Who me?

It's been quiet here *taps foot*







:

We have "friends" coming over next weekend, yay! It's a couple we sorta kinda spent time with a few years ago, who we actually really like, but they live pretty far from us... we've been talking about having them over, and soon we are, yay!

Grace and I are fighting







:


----------



## BurtsGirl

I kind of feel like our little group is dying.









Been following, "the fight" on the blog. Haven't chimed in because I'm chicken though. I mainly think people are responsible for their own actions and reactions and I'll leave it at that.

We finally have a weekend at home with almost nothing to do. Tonight we're going to my dad's to celebrate my nephew's birthday. Sat I'm working on painting our bedroom furniture and Terri is working in the yard. Sun we'll do the usual errands and relaxing. Finally a normal weekend at home! How about everyone else?


----------



## Who me?

naw, not dying.









Everyone's still around, well, Julia's away for a while, and Grace is uber-busy, but she's not forgotten us. Right Grace? Right?


----------



## Who me?

Oh, and as for weekend, I think we'll be mucking around with a few little projects around the house, but nothing heavy. If I have my way, I'll be building custom doggy gates for the stairs


----------



## BurtsGirl

Custom doggy gates, sounds kewl! You'll have to show us some pics!

I miss Julia. But I hope she's having fun!


----------



## jlutgendorf

I'm back!

But so not ready to be back. Things are nuts here (no surprise). I'll write more as I get some things done.


----------



## Who me?

:


----------



## BurtsGirl

:














:














:


----------



## jlutgendorf

awwwww&#8230;I missed you guys too!


----------



## Scribe

I'm still here, too. Just...busy. Turns out that the client I met this weekend wants to apply for a grant for $30,000,000. Yep, that's the right number of zeros. So...I'm overwhelmed.


----------



## Scribe

Oh, and I posted yet another thing about money and morality on my blog. B/c I can't leave well enough alone.


----------



## jlutgendorf

I'm so tired! But I have so much work to do. must. get. motivated.

I've got several things I want to write about and respond to, but I don't think I'll have time till the evening.

Still have 5 dogs. my god. But we might have a home for Boomer. A client of ours has a neighbor that's looking for a second dog and they sound really nice. I'd actually love it if this client could take another dog as well (she's a dog person), but I think her partner will flip if she does!

Poor Robert, while I was gone, he was coined the phrase "5 day, 5 dog challenge"


----------



## BurtsGirl

Quote:

Poor Robert, while I was gone, he was coined the phrase "5 day, 5 dog challenge"








:

I think I'm having a personal crisis. I can't decide if I want to go ahead and just have it or blow it off. I also can't decide if I'm making a big deal out of nothing. I need to bleed soon.


----------



## Who me?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Scribe* 
Oh, and I posted yet another thing about money and morality on my blog. B/c I can't leave well enough alone.









hey, if it's worth talking about...









Quote:


Originally Posted by *jlutgendorf* 
I'm so tired! But I have so much work to do. must. get. motivated.

I've got several things I want to write about and respond to, but I don't think I'll have time till the evening.

Still have 5 dogs. my god. But we might have a home for Boomer. A client of ours has a neighbor that's looking for a second dog and they sound really nice. I'd actually love it if this client could take another dog as well (she's a dog person), but I think her partner will flip if she does!

Poor Robert, while I was gone, he was coined the phrase "5 day, 5 dog challenge"









Ohmydog! Five!!! That's crazy. Poor, poor Robert









I think DW is finally convinced that three is plenty. But you never know









Quote:


Originally Posted by *BurtsGirl* 







:

I think I'm having a personal crisis. I can't decide if I want to go ahead and just have it or blow it off. I also can't decide if I'm making a big deal out of nothing. I need to bleed soon.

What is it you think you're making a big deal out of? (tell me and I'll let you know if it's worth it or just hormones







)


----------



## BurtsGirl

Crystal, I love how you pry. Do you have people in your life who are complete deep thinkers? They ask you questions that you would never ask yourself nor would you even consider asking. Questions that you could go your whole life not having the answer to, if only the questions weren't asked. I'm there. I'm thinking way to deeply and way to much lately and it's making me uncomfortable. I'm not good with emotional. I'm not deep, I'm too impatient to be deep.

I think I'm just looking at myself too much. Trying to measure something against something else and it's an unfair comparson. I'm just me and I need to be cool with that. I know who I am. I'm normally very comfortable and confident in who I am but lately I've faltered a little. Maybe my ego is getting in the way, maybe it's someone elses engery that's being reflected. I don't know.


----------



## Who me?

nosy, aren't I?









Hm. I don't think I have a deep thinker in my life, really. DW can ask some challenging questions, but more on the philosophical side, not so much the introspection end of things.

I tend to overanalyse things, but it's very much my nature to ask questions and to question the replys (whether they're coming from me or someone else).

I think I get where you're coming from a bit, though. Sometimes I find myself in a fairy dizzying and usually terrifically uncomfortable place where I challenge my perceptions of who I am or am not. As I've said before, I suspect I don't know myself very well, so it's a fairly frustrating exercise. Usually I just have to let it go because the answers aren't readily available, and the ones that I come up with seem sketchy. I come back to it every now and then, but have yet to come up with any satisfactory conclusions. Maybe that's a sign that either a) I'm asking the wrong questions or b) I'm b.s.ing my answers.

Hm.

I think that introspection/self-analysis is important and healthy, but not when it becomes all-consuming and worrysome. At least not without external support (i.e. councellor/shrink or the like) to help guide and put some perspective on the process.


----------



## jlutgendorf

I am on puppy OVERLOAD. This morning has consisted of nothing but poo and pee all over everywhere and the puppies. And they're full of beans&#8230;and have just finally passed out. (thank god)

I think we've hit their independent phase and I'm understanding why good breeders and rescues say to NEVER adopt two puppies at once. Because it's hard. And makes you question your sanity. And you do nothing but wash puppy items over and over and over&#8230;

Time to step back up the adoption whoring!


----------



## Who me?

One is bad enough, I could not FATHOM two or more at once!!! You have the patience of a saint. And the puppyness doesn't really stop until the dog is three or older, right? I mean, I haven't slept in since we got Jaida almost three years ago, 'cause juuuuust when she started to get the idea of "sleeping in", we got the mugsly one. Who does NOT do "sleeping in". She does PACEPACEPACELICKLICKLICKPACEPACEPACE *SPROING* on the bed WAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUP


----------



## Who me?

Oh, and check this out:

http://michiedo.blogspot.com/2008/12...d-im-girl.html

OMG, is that not too much??!?!?!?


----------



## jlutgendorf

That's what I have Robert for, he's lets the herd out in the morning while I'm still grumbling "NO. sleepytimeslkfiosigjweioj&#8230;"

I've def. lost my patience today. thank god the little bastards are asleep right now&#8230;before that they played "sit and look at each other and take turns barking back and forth".

And&#8230;OMG&#8230;that book is&#8230;just&#8230;no words. at all. crazytimes.


----------



## Who me?

I don't mind bark back and forth games as long as it's not pre-7am







Gracie and Heidi like that one. They get to pretend to be all like, "RAAAAWWWRRR!!!" with each other.









That said, a sleeping puppy is the best kind of puppy some days.


----------



## Who me?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jlutgendorf* 
That's what I have Robert for, he's lets the herd out in the morning while I'm still grumbling "NO. sleepytimeslkfiosigjweioj&#8230;".

Hm...apparently that's what Kim has ME for.







:


----------



## Scribe

I have been where you are, Julia, and you are indeed saintly.

Any adoption prospects on the line?


----------



## BurtsGirl

*running in and waving*

Julia, much patience







: coming at you! You're my hero. I would have run away from home with all that.


----------



## Who me?

Some gratuitous cute pet pics for your viewing pleasure:

Jaida

Gracie

Heidi


----------



## jlutgendorf

aw thanks guys. I don't feel like a saint, so much as I feel like screaming!









We don't really have any, lots of leads, but they all peter out. I just wrote a rescue about placing Izzy with them. They rehome mostly small dogs and take a small number of dogs from people (most are pulled from shelters). I haven't heard back yet, so we'll see.

Grace, how do you deal with rehoming your fosters? You foster through a rescuse, right? Does that help with it? Knowing that the rescue does a good job at checking out homes? everytime we get a good lead, I'm excited, but I also get tense and worried that they won't be a good home (and I won't send them off to a home that I think is a bad fit). But I know these little guys need to get out of here and into their permanent homes.

On non dog related news&#8230;we went to a "book premeire" (?) on Wed. for this book: http://fugeesfamily.org/store.html (scroll down to the bottom to see it). The women on the cover (Coach Luma and Tracy) are good friends of ours and Luma has done amazing things with and for the refugee kids in Clarkston (suburb of Atlanta). She is seriously my hero and my inspiration. The changes she has enacted in the lives of her kids and their families is AMAZING.

I thought her story might interest some of you, she's also got pdfs of their NYT article and Sports Illustrated and others under the Press section.

Anyone have weekend plans?

Crystal, those are great photos! Can I "steal" them to use for my GPPs?


----------



## Who me?

go right ahead!


----------



## jlutgendorf

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Who, me?* 
go right ahead!

















:







:







:







:


----------



## jlutgendorf

oooo&#8230;question for you Crystal. What do you do to make sure your knees don't hurt when running? They haven't been hurting when I've got my sneakers on, but they ache afterwards. and just now, taking the puppies out to potty and run around (while shrieking "puppies! puppies!" to get them to chase me and generally acting like a loon) they were hurting, but I was also wearing flip flops.

Soooo&#8230;what should i do?


----------



## Who me?

a few thoughts on how to not hurt your knees while running:

1. what are you wearing on your feet? If you're running for more than 5 minutes at a time, you should have proper running shoes, not cross-trainers. Go to a good store and have them assess you for proper shoes.

2. how old are your shoes? if they're more than a year old, they're probably done, cushion-wise.

3. how long are you running continuously? Unless you're an elite athelete, take walk breaks. I run for 10 minute and walk for 1 minute, no matter what distance I'm running. It lets your joints and muscles recover and you'll greatly reduce your chance of injury.

4. how are you landing on your feet? Aim for a mid-foot to toe motion, don't run on your toes or leaning too far forward; this pushes your weight ahead of your knees and causes strain.

5. are you stretching after working out? stretching your muscles/connective tissue will help reduce inflammation around the joints.

And this has been...a Running Moment.


----------



## Scribe

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jlutgendorf* 

Grace, how do you deal with rehoming your fosters? You foster through a rescuse, right? Does that help with it? Knowing that the rescue does a good job at checking out homes? everytime we get a good lead, I'm excited, but I also get tense and worried that they won't be a good home (and I won't send them off to a home that I think is a bad fit). But I know these little guys need to get out of here and into their permanent homes.

It's a tough thing to do, especially in the beginning. This is how it works with the rescue (and w/ every other rescue we've worked with):

1. The dogs' pictures and blurbs about them are listed on the rescue website and cross-listed on Petfinder (like this).

2. People either
a) see a specific dog in whom they are interested or
b) decide they may want to adopt from a specific rescue
and they fill out and email in an adoption application (like this).

3. The placement coordinator at the rescue reads the application. She's looking for, among other things:
a) evidence that current/former pets are or have been taken care of
b) evidence that the potential adopter has a realistic assessment of the costs (both financial and otherwise) of life with a dog
c) evidence that the potential foster is physically/financially capable of caring for the dog

4. If the application looks promising, the coordinator calls the potential and talks to him/her on the phone. S/he goes over the rescue's adoption policies and fees and talks to the potential about the responsibilities of dog rescue.

5. If that phone conversation goes well, the coordinator puts the potential in touch with the foster (us). The foster and the potential make plans for a home visit, during which the foster brings the dog to the potentials home. This is for two reasons:
1. So the potential can meet and interact w/ the dog
2. So the foster can meet the potential and check out his/her house

6. During the home visit, we check for safety hazards and look at the condition of other pets in the home, watch how the potential interacts with the dog, and basically get a feel for the situation.

7. If, post-home visit, the foster feels that the situation is a go and the potential is ready to adopt, another meeting is set up to do the adoption paperwork, collect the fee, and hand over the dog. Sometimes, more intermediate meetings are needed for either side to make sure it's a good fit.

8. After the dog is in the new home, the new owners have two weeks to return the dog to the rescue and get their adoption fee returned. After two weeks, they can return the dog at any time for any reason, but the fee will not be returned.

Sorry for the novella, but that's the process.

When we did the kittens (ourselves, not through a rescue), we did basically the same thing, only we filled all the roles, rather than just the foster one.


----------



## jlutgendorf

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Who, me?* 
a few thoughts on how to not hurt your knees while running:

1. what are you wearing on your feet? If you're running for more than 5 minutes at a time, you should have proper running shoes, not cross-trainers. Go to a good store and have them assess you for proper shoes.

*To be honest&#8230;I don't know. I hate sneakers, I think they make me look like a freak (I know, I know, wft is wrong with me?). So they're just something inexpensive we got on sale at DSW. Natural Balance maybe? Or something with NB in the logo?*

2. how old are your shoes? if they're more than a year old, they're probably done, cushion-wise.

*They're a year or two old, but seriously they've been worn maybe 12 times total.*

3. how long are you running continuously? Unless you're an elite athelete, take walk breaks. I run for 10 minute and walk for 1 minute, no matter what distance I'm running. It lets your joints and muscles recover and you'll greatly reduce your chance of injury.

*Currently no more than 60 seconds at a time.







But this is good to know, I'll tell Robert, he can run for much longer than me.*

4. how are you landing on your feet? Aim for a mid-foot to toe motion, don't run on your toes or leaning too far forward; this pushes your weight ahead of your knees and causes strain.

*I think I'm landing more on my heels. I think. I don't know, I'll have to pay attention next time!*

5. are you stretching after working out? stretching your muscles/connective tissue will help reduce inflammation around the joints.

*No, just a cool down walk for 5+ minutes. But now I will!*

And this has been...a Running Moment.











Thanks for the tips!


----------



## jlutgendorf

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Scribe* 
It's a tough thing to do, especially in the beginning. This is how it works with the rescue (and w/ every other rescue we've worked with):

1. The dogs' pictures and blurbs about them are listed on the rescue website and cross-listed on Petfinder (like this).

2. People either
a) see a specific dog in whom they are interested or
b) decide they may want to adopt from a specific rescue
and they fill out and email in an adoption application (like this).

3. The placement coordinator at the rescue reads the application. She's looking for, among other things:
a) evidence that current/former pets are or have been taken care of
b) evidence that the potential adopter has a realistic assessment of the costs (both financial and otherwise) of life with a dog
c) evidence that the potential foster is physically/financially capable of caring for the dog

4. If the application looks promising, the coordinator calls the potential and talks to him/her on the phone. S/he goes over the rescue's adoption policies and fees and talks to the potential about the responsibilities of dog rescue.

5. If that phone conversation goes well, the coordinator puts the potential in touch with the foster (us). The foster and the potential make plans for a home visit, during which the foster brings the dog to the potentials home. This is for two reasons:
1. So the potential can meet and interact w/ the dog
2. So the foster can meet the potential and check out his/her house

6. During the home visit, we check for safety hazards and look at the condition of other pets in the home, watch how the potential interacts with the dog, and basically get a feel for the situation.

7. If, post-home visit, the foster feels that the situation is a go and the potential is ready to adopt, another meeting is set up to do the adoption paperwork, collect the fee, and hand over the dog. Sometimes, more intermediate meetings are needed for either side to make sure it's a good fit.

8. After the dog is in the new home, the new owners have two weeks to return the dog to the rescue and get their adoption fee returned. After two weeks, they can return the dog at any time for any reason, but the fee will not be returned.

Sorry for the novella, but that's the process.

When we did the kittens (ourselves, not through a rescue), we did basically the same thing, only we filled all the roles, rather than just the foster one.











Thank you Grace. That's all helpful. It would be good if I liked meeting strangers more often! I was really hoping to rehome everyone through friends/friends of friends, but I don't know if that's possible anymore.

(PS. I will have label edits to you over the weekend. Our computer crisis has calmed down at last).


----------



## Who me?

AAAKKK!!!

We have no room for more furries, none I say!!! Where do they come from???

But she's gorgeous,

and sweet as pie,

And she's good with dogs...

(nonononononono no more furries, aak!)

I think we just joined the rank of "foster family".


----------



## BurtsGirl

AWEEEE!!!!! You guys are killing me with these cute babies! Crystal the one with the dogs is absolutely too precious!


----------



## jlutgendorf

bwahahaha! what, do we all have "sucker" stamped on our heads?

she's such a cutie! I agree with Rachel, the photo with the dogs going "what's this?!" is so cute.

How was everyone's weekend? We did lots of yard work. it's a jungle out there. I'm sore from everything and sadly still have lots to do! I used an entire 1.3 gallons of roundup on the newly sprouting kudzu and that still wasn't enough!


----------



## Who me?

I think the "sucker" sign is a problem... A neighbour showed up with her in his arms (I guess she'd been dumped at his place), got DW to hold her, she got ME to hold him, and I think one of us started to say something like, "well maybe we can help find her a home"...and the neighbour was like "great, bye" and was off in a storm of dust with his wheels squealing on the road.







Like, leave before we change our minds









The dogs are soooooooo excited about her.









We did errands and shopping and puttered around the house a bit and had DW's folks over for a bbq yesterday.


----------



## BurtsGirl

Friday we spent way too much money at Barnes and Noble, lol. Sat we went shopping for curtains for the bedroom and some other things. Sunday I went into work for a bit and ended up being able to get out of there early so I spent the rest of the day cleaning the house and porch. I also spent a lot of time on the couch with a good book looking at our baby Robin's. They are so almost ready to jump!


----------



## BurtsGirl

The pictures on the blog were taken last Wed so I need to take some new ones tonight, if they are still there.


----------



## jlutgendorf

I LOVE those photos Rachel! They are so amazing.

It sounds like Robert's dad is sick again (though it's not his fault this time!). He's been throwing up and is dehyrated, and his bacterial infection is back again and he may(?) have kidney failure (not clear on that part since they haven't admited him to the hospital yet, and that seems like a hospital kind of thing). So I'm not sure what's going on with that. Trouble is, they never call us BEFORE they head to the drs with an emergency, so we've never been there for his appointments. I think his dad hides a lot of the really bad stuff until it gets to where he can't deal anymore.









And on a totally different topic&#8230;I need to get remotivated at my job. What with the break in and the crappy economy and our seemlying inefficient way to do business&#8230;I need to be working harder to help finish projects faster so we can bill. Right now, I often feel checked out and am spending WAY too much time on the interwebs (and yes, it's very funny that I'm complaining about this online







). So any tips? Also, does it sound like a cop out that due to the economy, instead of looking for a new job, I'm staying here? I don't know&#8230;


----------



## BurtsGirl

Thanks, J. I can't take credit for them, a friend took them. I watched the house finches fly the nest today. It was amazing!

Julia, I'm in the same boat about work. I need to get re-motivated. I have some great projects in the works right now but I'm so unexcited about them. I'm not sure how to get motivation back but I'm hoping to figure it out somehow. If you figure out it first let me know.

As for staying where you are, also doing the same thing. I haven't even started to build my porfolio and I'm not going too until the economy picks by up. I think I'd like to do some freelance but I'm just not sure I want to make time for that.


----------



## BurtsGirl

OK, I hope you guys might shine some light my way. We have a lot of graduates this year. I've always been under the impression that when you graduate from High school, gifts are given but when you graduate from college gifts aren't normally given. When I graduated from college I didn't send out announcements. What did you guys do if you sent out announcements? Did you get gifts? Would you send a gift to a college graduate who sent you an announcement? I know they aren't obligatory. Thoughts?


----------



## jlutgendorf

I got gifts for both college and highschool graduation, but my family is all in AZ, so it could be regional. I also only got gifts from immediate family (parents, grandparents, maybe a couple aunts and uncles).

Honestly, as a fresh college grad, the gifts of money or gift cards to target (or the like) were the best. It would depend on the how close I was to the graduate I guess, if I would send a gift (or if I knew they were in dire straights and could really use some extra help).


----------



## jlutgendorf

Ok, here's a question for all of you (but specifically Grace). I haven't heard back from the rescue I wrote to about Izzy. I wrote them last week, would it be bad form to write again, just to double check they got my email? (it had pictures attached).

They're normally really good about responding right away, but the last time I wrote them (a few years ago) it was in regards to adopting a dog, not surrendering one. I also don't know if they're going to look at me all funny like because we're trying to rehome her for my ILs. Would any of this set of your "freak alert" Grace?


----------



## jlutgendorf

And here's some more cute puppy photos! These are being processed for stock photography, they were a little soft though, so we'll see if they get accepted.

http://eyeonlinemedia.smugmug.com/ph..._GDUqd-M-1.jpg

http://eyeonlinemedia.smugmug.com/ph...38_YzMSY-M.jpg


----------



## Who me?

Our new houseguest is not 3 months old, she's at least 6.

And she's pregnant.









But only a little bit. We're getting her spayed tomorrow.








:


----------



## Who me?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jlutgendorf* 
And here's some more cute puppy photos! These are being processed for stock photography, they were a little soft though, so we'll see if they get accepted.

oooo, I







: the spay/neuter one!!!


----------



## Who me?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jlutgendorf* 
Ok, here's a question for all of you (but specifically Grace). I haven't heard back from the rescue I wrote to about Izzy. I wrote them last week, would it be bad form to write again, just to double check they got my email? (it had pictures attached).

They're normally really good about responding right away, but the last time I wrote them (a few years ago) it was in regards to adopting a dog, not surrendering one. I also don't know if they're going to look at me all funny like because we're trying to rehome her for my ILs. Would any of this set of your "freak alert" Grace?

If I had to guess, I'd say it's spring, they're overloaded, and they're probably either still getting around to the email or hoping you'll go away.


----------



## jlutgendorf

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Who, me?* 









Our new houseguest is not 3 months old, she's at least 6.

And she's pregnant.









But only a little bit. We're getting her spayed tomorrow.








:









I'm so sorry! Spaying is probably best though.


----------



## Scribe

Re-send, Julia. Crystal is right--they are either busy or you're being ignored. Either way, polite re-send is fine.

That spay&neuter photo is SO cute.

Crystal, you're doing the right thing w/ the spay. It's nearly impossible to adopt out kitten in the spring.


----------



## jlutgendorf

WooHoo!

Izzy has become very popular! The rescue wrote back and said they would like to meet her BUT a really good client of ours has just taken her home for a trial visit! He's actually the perfect home for her. He's got two other small dogs who are PAMPERED princesses, he's loaded, and he's retired so he's home a lot and has a huge fenced in yard. Fingers crossed for her!


----------



## Who me?

Yay!

Ok, so, any suggestions for a non-rescue foster? I have one or two people at work who are fairly interested in her but if they don't pan out, I'm going to need to look elsewhere. And, we'll have dropped over 300$ in vet bills by the end of the week. So,

a) what's a good way to find good homes, can I ask for a pity-post on petfinder via a rescue?

b) is it reasonable to ask for at least some of the cost to be recouped? What's a rescue cat, neutered, usually go for?


----------



## jlutgendorf

Cats around here (fully vetted from rescues) usually go for $75-$125 US dollars. Non-vetted from animal control $10-35. Cats going through personal chanels (like you) usually have to be offered for free because of the HUGE glut of pets here in town. I assume those people either don't care who adopts or do a lot of screening and reference checking.

If your area supports it, I would def. ask for an adoption fee, it tends to weed out the flakes and crazies.


----------



## jlutgendorf

How is everyone? Rachel, did you get your gift question sorted out?

I have to say, going from 5 dogs down to 4 has been nice! It also helps that it was Izzy. She's the sweetest dog, but not a good fit for our family at all. I hope that she fits in well with my client and his dogs, his life is much more calm and less rowdy than ours.

Now to get these puppies out of here!







We're going to take them to a big party on Sat. that some friends are throwing and maybe we'll get a few leads from that. I'm going to make them "I'm up for adoption" t-shirts. I may also dye Saul blue. Maybe. Just because I really want to!


----------



## Who me?

I'm peppering my co-workers' inboxes with cute Molly pics...like this one.


----------



## Scribe

Aw. She is a cutie.


----------



## Who me?

Big-time post-op suckiness/cuteness going on over here last night....

big babies


----------



## jlutgendorf

awwwww&#8230;poor baby! She's sooo cute.

In bad news, it looks like Izzy might becoming back to us. She's been having accidents all over her new home. She's been pretty good with us, but our house is teeny-tiny and the new place is huge (she went from 800 sq ft to 3,000 sq ft).

I talked to him a bit about ways he could work with her, but he's an older guy, so I completely understand if doesn't want to put the time and energy in re-housebreaking her (AGAIN-this is also pissing me off that my ILs got a puppy they couldn't handle and in effect could never house break).

So I guess I need to write the rescue back and see if they still have space for her.







Robert doesn't want her back in the house, I didn't realize how much he didn't like her. baaahh!


----------



## Who me?

crapola.







:


----------



## jlutgendorf

Tell me about it. This is raising my stress levels and I'm not sure why. Must. chill. out.

Also must google housebreaking hard to housebreak dogs. I thought we had done pretty well, but obviously I was WRONG.

Raaaaacheeeellllll&#8230;where are yoooooou? I need you to tell me it will all be ok!


----------



## Who me?

remind me what kind of dog Izzie is and how old?

Housebreaking for some dogs is just one of those things...a change of environment (i.e. stress) can be enough to make them relapse on a previously
-mastered behaviour.







It sucks, though.

p.s. it will all be ok


----------



## Who me?

p.p.s. chill out.


----------



## jlutgendorf

thanks Crystal! I will try to follow your orders.

She's 9-10 months old, and a cockapoo.

And she's definitely coming back, should be here in a few hours. crap.

Robert is kind of freaking out and saying "she can't come back in the house" and generally being a tad dramatic, which isn't helping. He's not normally like this, so I'm trying to be generous and chalk it up to him being sick with a headache/sinus infection and on new antibiotics right now.

We both need to chill!









Ok. deep breath. We've got one more friend interested in her and the rescue sounds like they can still meet with us.


----------



## Who me?

This too will pass.

Tell Robert to chill out and maybe take a few swigs of cold medicine (he'll get sleepy and leave you alone).

I'm sure things will work out with rescue. All toes and fingers crossed...


----------



## BurtsGirl

Julia, I don't envy you, sister. I'm not going to say everything will be alright but I will agree with Crystal that this too shall pass. I also agree with drugging Robert with couch syrup, lol.

Hope everyone has a great weekend. We're heading to a wine festival in Helen, GA. I'm so stoked!


----------



## Who me?

Oh, and remind Robert (and yourself) that this is a puppy, and puppies pee/poo on floors. And that SMALL breed puppies, especially, are very very hard to reliably housetrain, even when they're adults. And that she's right around the age where our last two puppies "forgot" their housetraining, so really, she's right on schedule.


----------



## jlutgendorf

ok. I'm trying to simmer down!









Crystal, that's good to know about dogs. I just know she's got the deck stacked against her since for the first half of her life she never had to learn about housebreaking.

It's also hard because we've got Aggie (8 lbs) pretty well housebroken if we stick to her schedule. So I need to stop comparing the two!

Rachel, have fun in helen! Eat some yummy german food for me!


----------



## Scribe

I didn't realize Izzy was so young. For her breeds/size, it isn't all that surprising that she isn't reliably house trained.

Is her new person using a crate?


----------



## jlutgendorf

Well, Izzy is in rescue now! I think some people think it's a cop out, but we've run out of friends and friends of friends and were going to have to start posting on Craigslist&#8230;and that makes me feel weird. I just don't know how to really screen total strangers.

And this rescue is so nice, all the dogs are either kenneled together in their building or in a foster home and they screen the crap out of prospective owners. We went halfway through their screening process, but the dog we wanted was adopted before we finished.

We have a few more leads on the puppies as well, all three of the dogs went to a big party with us and they were all a hit, though the puppies had the most people interested. So now we just need to get in touch with people and talk more and see what happens.

In bad news, the AC in the truck went out and it started running hot. Didn't ever overheat, but we also realized it was WAY low on coolant. So it's in the shop right now, hopefully nothing too spendy!

How was everyone else's weekend?


----------



## jlutgendorf

I forgot! Here's Izzy's write up: http://www.atlantapetrescue.org/www_...es/toy/toy.htm

She's the very last entry on that page.


----------



## Who me?

Boo to dead A/C.







:

Glad to hear that things are moving along for Izzy. I don't think it's a cop-out at all, you tried everything you could and rather than give up you've done the next logical step...bravo!







: I'm sure she'll find a great home. Hope things work out for the puppies too.

As for us, I think we've BEEN adopted, sigh. Looks like the little miss is going to be staying with us. What's one more, right?









Weekend was good, busy. Went to our 2-year-old nephew's birthday party, which was pretty fun...we got him a goldfish, and set him up with an old aquarium of our we weren't using anymore. He's soooooo excited about it, it's adorable. He "called" us yesterday to talk about it. The conversation consisted entirely of "fish" "water" and "food".







He's so adorable!


----------



## Who me?

Cute pic of Izzy on their site!!!

And OMG I want little Gretchen!!!







:


----------



## jlutgendorf

Isn't Gretchen cute!? She does some of the same body language things that Aggie does&#8230;so. adorable!

So your foster has picked you as her new home, eh?







Those crazy animals. Well, I think she's got good taste!


----------



## BurtsGirl

Julia, I also don't think it was a cop-out. I think the resuce is more suited to finding a great home for Izzy at this point than you are. Plus it sounds like she'll be well taken care of while she's there.

Did you guys get the truck back yet? We just had to replace my radiator. Not happy!

Crystal, have your guys named her yet? She is adorable and I agree with Julia on her great taste in owners. She knows where she'll be treated like royality!

We had a great weekend. Went to the winefest and wow, that was fun! (more on my blog) and Sunday we just did some things around the house and I recovered from winefest, lol.

Right now we're calling around to some eletricians and I'm just shocked at how much they want to charge us for the few things we need done. Geesh. We also need to get a new freezer this weekend or soon because our old one is dying. We got five chickens from a local farm and Terri butchered them into cuts and froze them. I'll be so mad if the freezer dies completely before we get a new one. Seems like a lot of big ticket stuff is all happening at once around here.


----------



## Who me?

The wee one's name is Molly







Gads, she's Teh Cute!!!

I hear you on the big ticket stuff, Rachel. We've had a small fleet of contractors pass through the house lately, and more to come still...we've got someone booked in now to repair our completely leaky/bogus foundation in August (owie $$), almost have decided on a flooring contractor to replace all the floors, and are working to get someone else in to do some other jobs around the house, including our bathroom reno. It's all crazy-making.


----------



## jlutgendorf

hey everyone! sorry for being so quiet!

First off: Izzy's been adopted already! woo hoo! She was adopted on May 5th, to a single lady (which will be so nice for her, lots of individual attention). It makes me feel better to know she's already in a good home, plus the rescue wasn't out much money in her care since she's was up to date on everything and we donated some food for them to use (I hope they even may have made some money off her adoption).

We had puppy times yesterday. We think Boomer ate about 3 lbs of guinea pig food and she spent most of yesterday pooping non stop (for reals) and drinking water like it was going out of style (and then peeing all the time). Oh puppies&#8230;it's a good thing she's so cute and fuzzy.

The truck got fixed. to the tune of $700!







: but it's worth it. Cheaper than a car payment. Apparently both the radiator and the AC had some external damage (due to a rock or something, thank crappy atlanta roads) and we also had them fix the part under the truck that holds the spare tire. Now we need to see about getting the Audi fixed up or trading it in for cash.

Doesn't it always seem like big things crop up together? At least this time we've had savings to pay for everything, so that's good.


----------



## Who me?

: for Izzy!!!








for naughty puppies!!!








:for broken vehicles!!!


----------



## jlutgendorf

That's a great summation of my week!


----------



## Who me?

I've been pretty busy and surrounded by coworkers on the brink of burnout, oh what fun!







Our new "kitten" is Teh Cute incarnate.


----------



## BurtsGirl

*Taking cue from Crystal*

Definitely







: for Izzy!!! I love happy endings!








: for puppy mess and clean up








for having the savings. Great feeling isn't it!








for $700! DANG! That's an owie!








for burnt out co workers








: for teh cute kitten. You need to post more pics.

As for me...















: &







over childish BS with my sister.

Totally







with work








for supportive friends and wife








we're going out to a nice dinner downtown with a new friend tonight.

I think that covers it. And that was fun!


----------



## Who me?

Molly helps read the newspaper

Boo is disgusted by the kitten-ey tomfoolery

Has it? Yes it has! (look for hidden message )

what is causing the







and







with your sister?
















: for smilies!!!


----------



## BurtsGirl

OMG, *repeating to self "I don't need a kitten, I don't need a kitten"* She is SOOOO cute. Can I virtually adopt her through you, Crystal? You post pictures and I'll send virtual hugs and head scratches to her. Love the name Molly, btw.

It's a long story and I'm tired of talking about it. Basically it boils down to her being stubborn and childish and misuderstanding the meaning of my words. She also already has it in her head what I think and how I feel, which makes things difficult when she's wrong!

Grace, is Grace still even with us? Hmmm, guess I'll put this out and see. Talk to me about Blogher. The site is huge and I'm wondering what the benefits are for joining? Have you really seen an increase in traffic that you believe is directly linked to joining? I feel like because they are so big blogs just get lost under the sea of choices, am I wrong?


----------



## Who me?

oh oh, I want to jump on the Blogher bandwagon too...*talk to me about the advertising, Grace!!!*


----------



## Who me?

You may co-own her via the interwebz. Eleventy-billion scritches are required daily.

Bah. Family. more


----------



## jlutgendorf

omg. I love those photos crystal! she is just too cute for words. toooo cuuuuute! I especially love the last one!








Rachel, sorry your sis is being difficult. Siblings. They can be trouble. This reminds me to call my brother. I think he's having a quarter life crisis of sorts.

In







: puppy news. Boomer just ate a bar of soap! wtf? Can you tell her mom was a lab?







: No barfing yet, but I'm waiting for it. She is gassy though. gross&#8230;


----------



## Who me?

I'm sorry, Julia, but...

*
BWAAAAAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!*









*sniff*

hee.

Puppies are such little [email protected]









If it's any consolation, Jaida ate a shaving razor once, blades and all


----------



## jlutgendorf

God. they are. it stinks like dog toots over here. but they're soooo cute when they're sleeping. sigh.








: did she pass them or did she need surgery? I'll count my blessings that so far the eating has been of *mostly* edible items!


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## BurtsGirl

Julia, if she start passing fart bubbles you better have the camera ready!


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## BurtsGirl

Here's a question. Do any of you still use the rest of this board? If so what else appeals to you here?


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## jlutgendorf

Oh I will! I'm guessing she's going to be barfing up bubbles first though!







so gross&#8230;

I don't use much of the board anymore. Used to hang out lots in pets, but I just don't need the dramaz there now that some of the really good, smart posters have left. I sometimes go to PaP for more dramaz or TOA to see if there's anything interesting.

I probably need to go BACK to the frugality section so we can save more!









Honestly, you guys ARE most of the appeal to me!


----------



## BurtsGirl

I used to love the spirituality forum and also the queer parenting forum but it's just to hard with people getting pregnant now. Just wondering if we could take this little group we have here to a more private yahoo or google group. Thoughts?


----------



## Who me?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jlutgendorf* 
God. they are. it stinks like dog toots over here. but they're soooo cute when they're sleeping. sigh.

**snort**








: did she pass them or did she need surgery? I'll count my blessings that so far the eating has been of *mostly* edible items!









Yeah, she was fine, the little turd. She was obsessed with anything hard plastic or metal as a puppy. It took us a while to figure out what the little plastic carcass was, and then we were like "OH NOES! A RAZOR!!!111!!!" I spent the next few days poring over every single poop until I found all the blades. I learned that the blades in shaving razors are very very thin and flexible. There was not so much as a spot of blood. Very lucky!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jlutgendorf* 
Oh I will! I'm guessing she's going to be barfing up bubbles first though!







so gross&#8230;

*snort*

I don't use much of the board anymore. Used to hang out lots in pets, but I just don't need the dramaz there now that some of the really good, smart posters have left. I sometimes go to PaP for more dramaz or TOA to see if there's anything interesting.

I probably need to go BACK to the frugality section so we can save more!









Honestly, you guys ARE most of the appeal to me!









Yah me too. Pets are annoying now mostly now that Johanna's gone, she was the main reason I was there so now I just stalk her blog. Pet is mostly "OMG I want a puppy sooooo baaaad - three weeks later - OMG my puppy is growling and snapping and pooing on my floor Oh Noes how on earth did this ever happen????"







Lots of "oops" or "not caring" litters too. It's just annoying.

PaP dramaz, yes. Um, sometimes QP just to see if Papa will ever finally get the baby he wants so badly. That's mostly it.

I'm here to chat with you guys, really, that's about it.







:


----------



## Who me?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BurtsGirl* 
I used to love the spirituality forum and also the queer parenting forum but it's just to hard with people getting pregnant now. Just wondering if we could take this little group we have here to a more private yahoo or google group. Thoughts?

I would be fine with that, but I'll have to make sure that I'm not blocked from whatever site first, cuz that would make me







.


----------



## jlutgendorf

That's crazy about the razors! I would be so worried until I found them! It reminds me of the time my friend's puppies ate a battery









I learned how to make a dog puke that day!







and puke&#8230;and puke&#8230;and puke&#8230;


----------



## jlutgendorf

ok, question time. For those of you with three dogs (crystal and grace). What's it like going from 2 to 3? We are in LOVE with Saul and his personality is a good fit with our other two. But three dogs? seriously? that's a lot (says the person who had 5 dogs in her house for several weeks).

Next question, for Rachel and maybe Crystal (I don't know if you had a wedding or not). Some really good friends of ours (Katie and her partner, you've read her blog Rachel) have decided that they want to do something weddingish, commitment ceremonyish, big gay partyish&#8230; but they don't know just what yet. I think a big concern for them is family not wanting to come and "condone" their wedding







. But I think they lean towards wanting to do a big "traditional" (in the sense of dresses, ceremony, reception, flowers, etc) wedding.

So, can you just talk to me about your thoughts going through all this and your experiences? We're having dinner with them tonight and I know they want to talk about it (they helped organize a lot of our wedding and were bridesmaids).


----------



## BurtsGirl

We did a traditional-style wedding but we added some twists. We excluded some of the things that didn't apply or we didn't like and added some others. We both had a BALL planning our wedding and it was the most special day in both our lives.

Family- I sent out invites to those in my family I wanted to come. There were some family members who chose not to participate and although that was painful we accepted that. We did our part, it was their choice. They are the ones who have to live with missing such a big and special event in our lives.

Thoughts on weddings - for us it was a celebration and an outward commitment to our family and friends. We were making a commitment to each other and we ask our friends and family to make a commitment to us as a couple. It felt and still feel so great to know that we have that commitment not only to each other but also the commitment of support and encouragement and RECOGNITION from our family and friends. A lot of people treated us much differently after our wedding, mainly straight people, family and co-workers.

Wedding ceremony - We wrote our entire ceremony using the book Weddings of the Heart It's got both traditional and contemporary wedding ceremonies, we picked and choose what we wanted, which made it super special.

We didn't have any issues with vendors because of our orientation, which was a miracle in the south, but we were up front with most of them. I love talking about my wedding. I had such a blast planning it also. I made a lot of the deco's and stuff too. I'd be happy to talk to her or answer any specific questions. Feel free to give her my email. And for some ideas here's a link to our wedding stuff. It has the entire ceremony, complete with music we used, and lots of pics from that day.

I always like to encourage committed couples to have something be it a party, celebration, ceremony whatever. It doesn't matter if the law recognizes it or not. A commitment is a commitment and that celebration is truly a great experience. It truly changes the dynamics of your relationship and how others support and view your relationship also, at least that's been my experience. And how serious you take it is how serious everyone else will also.


----------



## Who me?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jlutgendorf* 
ok, question time. For those of you with three dogs (crystal and grace). What's it like going from 2 to 3? We are in LOVE with Saul and his personality is a good fit with our other two. But three dogs? seriously? that's a lot (says the person who had 5 dogs in her house for several weeks).

Next question, for Rachel and maybe Crystal (I don't know if you had a wedding or not). Some really good friends of ours (Katie and her partner, you've read her blog Rachel) have decided that they want to do something weddingish, commitment ceremonyish, big gay partyish&#8230; but they don't know just what yet. I think a big concern for them is family not wanting to come and "condone" their wedding







. But I think they lean towards wanting to do a big "traditional" (in the sense of dresses, ceremony, reception, flowers, etc) wedding.

So, can you just talk to me about your thoughts going through all this and your experiences? We're having dinner with them tonight and I know they want to talk about it (they helped organize a lot of our wedding and were bridesmaids).


Kay, so, dogs. Going from 2 to 3 is not that big a deal. It's much harder going from 1 to 2 IMO. After that it's just one more food dish...ALTHOUGH if you get a puppy then you have two sets of doggie schedules until the little one gets on board, which can be a bit of a pain. It still wasn't that bad though. The most important thing is to make sure the new one has a personality that "fits" with the others. Heidi is Miss Laid-back And Loves Everyone, so it works for our pack...she doesn't challenge Gracie, which was the biggest worry. She's pretty much the middle of the totem pole, and it works perfectly.

Kay, so, weddings. DW and I are legally married (yay Canada!). We initially started to plan a small, pretty much only family and close friends ceremony that was going to be pretty informal and held in our backyard. Then when we REALLY started to look at what was going to be involved with planning, the cost etc etc, we started having less and less fun planning the darn thing. In the end, we cancelled everything except our officiant, and had a wedding for two in a small private garden in a village near our place. Voila! It worked for us, but I think our parents were disappointed.

My biggest advice is, it's your own freaking day and you should be able to do whatever it is that will make you most happy. The reality is, if you invite ANYbody, there will always be SOMEONE who isn't happy with SOMETHING, so you might as well just do exactly what you want and not worry about what everyone else wants. If they want a big to-do and their family doesn't want to participate, like Rachel says it's their loss.


----------



## jlutgendorf

Thanks guys!

If you guys don't mind, I'll pass your thoughts on to them.

Well, I think we're going to keep Saul!







: He's so sweet and lovely and wonderful. He's submissive to both our girls and he loves to cuddle. In fact he'll let you carry him around like a baby! eeek! the cuteness is seriously unbelievable. I think that we're officially insane.


----------



## Scribe

Hey all. Have you missed me?


----------



## jlutgendorf

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Scribe* 
Hey all. Have you missed me?


Grace!







:

We have missed you! Sending you a pm, bb.


----------



## Who me?

Hmmm, lemme think...

*think*
*think*
*think*

Uh, YES!!!!







:


----------



## BurtsGirl

I know this thread died 6 months ago but I'd like to restart it, at least until 2010 when I new one would go up. If anyone is still out there or still interested I'm here and ready to start chatting it up about life without kids. Come back, Julia, Crystal and Grace, and anyone else interested!


----------



## jlutgendorf

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BurtsGirl* 
I know this thread died 6 months ago but I'd like to restart it, at least until 2010 when I new one would go up. If anyone is still out there or still interested I'm here and ready to start chatting it up about life without kids. Come back, Julia, Crystal and Grace, and anyone else interested!

Hey Rachel!

Bookmarking this thread so I can come back and post more. It's fun to read back through these!


----------



## BurtsGirl

Oh, I haven't done that. *off to paroose the oldies but goodies.*


----------



## BurtsGirl

OK, wow. We covered a lot of ground in this thread, lol, and I mostly just skimmed. So what's new, Ms Julia? Did your friends set a date for the wedding? How is Robert?

Hope the others will come back...but I understand if they don't.


----------



## jlutgendorf

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BurtsGirl* 
OK, wow. We covered a lot of ground in this thread, lol, and I mostly just skimmed. So what's new, Ms Julia? Did your friends set a date for the wedding? How is Robert?

Hope the others will come back...but I understand if they don't.


Yes, friends are getting married in June and I get to be a bridesmaid and Robert gets to be a maid of honor!









Robert is doing ok, he's got more freelance business, which is really good right now.

I just got a call back from the job I interviewed with and they're not calling me back.







She said the job is turning more administrative, less creative, so she didn't think it would be a good fit for me. BUT I think it would be a good fit! sigh.

I'll have to put some photos up on my blog of our house. We've been busy bees and have done a TON. (or Robert's actually done a ton.)

How are you and T and Rascal?


----------



## BurtsGirl

@ Robert being the Maid of Honor! Would love to see what you guys are doing with the house. And your blog is pitifully behind, m'dear.

We're doing well. Rascal just lost his Futon because we decided to turn "his" room into a workout room and there wasn't room for everything. We made ourselves feel better by purchasing him a huge, expensive bed and telling us (and him) that until he starts paying rent he'll have to manage with the dog bed. It's also closer to the ground so I think it will be better for him anyway as he's getting up there in age.

Right now he's boycotting it. It's so comfy though. Hell, I'd sleep on it. We have it in the living room and I think that's why he's not digging it as much. The surround sound scares him sometimes and I think he liked his "me time" in his room.


----------



## jlutgendorf

Awww&#8230;he's so cute! I want to get our pups a newer, nicer dog bed, but until everyone is out the chewing stage, that just doesn't make much sense.

In weekend news:

My friend's dad died yesterday. He had an aneursym or stroke about 5 weeks ago and has been touch and go since then. He took a turn for the worse this week and they respected his wishes to not be kept alive artificially.

And we had another friend over for dinner last night and she brought her new baby rat terrier (6 months old, 6 pounds, so cute!) to meet Aggie. I brought Keira out to say hi (because she is the biggest weenie and lover ever) and she reward my confidence in her with trying to kill my friends to two dogs.







She then spent the rest of their visit in her crate.

Then we decorated our tree!

And today I'm filling out an application for two jobs that opened up at the Library I'm volunteering at. Would it be weird to list my volunteer supervisor as a reference? We don't really know each other super well yet, but I think I've been doing a good job with everything she's asked me to do.


----------



## BurtsGirl

We've tried dog beds before with Rascal and he chewed it up. Then when we were dog sitting for some friends, they brought over their dog's bed and Rascal didn't chew it and actually laid on it. So we know he's capable he's just rebelling. You should have seen the looks we got when we were moving the futon into the garage. Oh man, that boy can WORK it!

I'm so sorry to hear about your friends dad, Julia. It's always so heart breaking when it's so sudden and seemly out of the blue.

Poor Keira, she just wanted a snack...









YAY for job openings! Talk to me about this new interest is Library stuff. It seems you're really into it with the volunteering and now applying. Are you thinking of going back to school for this or just kind of trying it on for now? I totally think you should put down the volunteer supervisor, she's the best one to assess you're librarian skills!


----------



## jlutgendorf

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BurtsGirl* 
YAY for job openings! Talk to me about this new interest is Library stuff. It seems you're really into it with the volunteering and now applying. Are you thinking of going back to school for this or just kind of trying it on for now? I totally think you should put down the volunteer supervisor, she's the best one to assess you're librarian skills!

I've been thinking about Library stuff for some time. I like libraries and I like research, but I know that there's more to it than that. I've tried a few times to get circulation-type jobs in a couple different libraries to get some experience and see if I like it, but I'm not getting hired because&#8230;I have no experience!

So I've started volunteering, figuring at least I would get to see more of what it's like to work in a library and now a few jobs have opened up. I don't know if I'll get hired, but it would be interesting. The library offers tuition reimbursement to those getting MLIS degrees, and that would be so wonderful! But first I need more experience to see if going back to school for this right for me.


----------



## BurtsGirl

What an incredibly smart thing to do, Miss Julia! I can totally see you as a librarian! And that's awesome that they do tuition reimbursement! I hate when you're trying to break into something new and everyone wants someone with experience. I'm running into that with accounting. I was hoping I could just move into an entry level accounting/book keeping/reception type job but the only accounting jobs open want someone with experience. I need to find something else and I don't want to find something in the field I'm currently in. BLAH!

Rascal is still boycotting the bed. We paid way to much for him not to sleep on it. I'm giving him two weeks and it's going back to the store. We've moved it into our room, which is where he likes to sleep most now. I hope that works. Do you think that's not enough time to give him on the bed? There is a 30 day return policy on it and it's already been a week since we got it.


----------



## jlutgendorf

It's so frustrating, not having the experience in a new field. Especially when the job requires really general skills that (imo) aren't specific to have *specific* experience. Like, I speak and write well, I learn fast, I can do it! Just hire me!









For Rascal, can you get him to lie down on it with a toy? Or will he come sit with you if you sit on it? I know if I sit down, I get mobbed.







 Does he know "down" as a command? If so, i'd have him do a few short downs on the bed and then maybe he'll get that it's soft and nice and "his", yk? Dogs&#8230;

I'm having some work drama that I'd like to talk about, but probably later. I'm not sure how to write it all out right now and just thinking about it is exhausting.

How is T's job holding up?


----------



## BurtsGirl

Rascal will lay down on it if I tell him to and we've gotten on it with him serveral times. I actually think he now sees the bed as his lovin-bed. I've giving him treats and toys and he'll lay there for a few minutes when get off. I actually fell asleep on it with him last night, its more comfy than our bed! He's a smart dog. I think he's still playing us. :sigh

Work drama, sounds like fun. I'm here if you wanna chat about it. Terri's job is doing well. They've actually only had a month or so where the economy really hit them. So that's good. She's gotten a little frustrated with her boss a couple of times but that' normal every so often.

I'm draggin today. Between Terri's snoring, AF coming, and Rascal almost climbing into my side of the bed b/c of freaking rain, I didn't sleep much last night.


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## BurtsGirl

YAY Rascal has finally accepted his bed. He started on Friday evening and last night he pretty much spent the entire night sleeping on it. I'm so glad. I hated taking away his old bed. But once again the parents win!! Whew. I really thought we were going to have to take it back and I really didn't want to.

We had a great weekend. Date night, holiday baking, football watching and a little shopping. Good times

How was your weekend, Ms J?


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## jlutgendorf

for Rascal! That's great.

Our weekend was good. Crappy weather, but we finished up enclosing the patio so it's mostly dog tight. We have a friend coming to visit for a few days and we're behind in our cleaning, so that's been stressful. Though I'm so excited to see her!

I've been feeling kind of depressed lately and i'm not sure what to do about it. I don't know if it's the weather, hormones (on CD 43 with no sign of AF in sight, and not pregnant), stress from jobs, etc. It's not horrible. I'm getting things done, but it's not great as I'm getting just a bit more than the minimum accomplished.

I'm hoping that things will calm down in the next few days and that will help. I'm debating trying to get a therapy appointment through my HMO&#8230;I'll have to see how much that costs.


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## BurtsGirl

Hope you guys are having fun with your visitor. I know where you are with the depressed feelings. I started taking St John's Wart and I'm really feeling much better lately. If you feel you need to talk to someone, J, I'd go ahead and make that appointment. Are you having any more luck on the job front?

I'm looking for something part time right now and will be kicking up my searching starting in Jan. Ideally I'd like to find something a few days a week during the weekday but jobs are just so hard to come by. I have a few more options I can check out in the new year.

I've promised Terri I'd stick with this job through Jan but I'd like to make it through March. I just can't stay here anymore. It's really starting to take an emotional toll. I'm hoping to have another job before I resign from here, but that might not happen.

I am excited about school, though. I love learning and am really glad i made this choice. I think it was the best one for me right now. There are some plans we're having to put on hold for a while, but hopefully only for a couple of years.

You guys ready for the holidays? All my shopping is done, the tree is up and ready, just a few events we need to go to and we'll be ready, freddie!


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## jlutgendorf

Happy Birthday Rachel!









I hope you have a great day.









Sorry for being so silent. We were in Arizona for part of the holiday and I was sick for some of it as well (and being a veggie for the rest







)

How have your holidays been? How are things going for you now?


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