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## Climbing Rose (Dec 10, 2006)

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## Liquesce (Nov 4, 2006)

It is, in short, a friendship not worth maintaining.


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Liquesce*
> 
> It is, in short, a friendship not worth maintaining.


That.

I would stop even bothering with that family. They obviously don't respect other peoples desire to not get horribly sick.


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## Wild Lupine (Jul 22, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Liquesce*
> 
> It is, in short, a friendship not worth maintaining.


Exactly. They don't respect your family's needs and wishes, and have been blatantly dishonest with you. Why would you want to maintain it?


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## Lisa1970 (Jan 18, 2009)

I would end that friendship.


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## DariusMom (May 29, 2005)

Wow. That's crazy.

I'm not someone who would cancel a playdate because of a mild cold or something but; 1) I would actually cancel if I knew the other family felt strongly about it; 2) I would never lie about it; and 3) this was hardly a mild cold or case of the sniffles PLUS you all were clearly in a vulnerable position (pregnant, dental work, moving) which you explained to them.

I don't think I'd continue seeing them.


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## Bellabaz (Feb 27, 2008)

Okay, so i am that person who sometimes forgets to mention a cold, because to me it is not "sick". However none of my friends have problems with colds either. Having said that this sounds like a family worth distancing yourselves from. Sorry you aer all suffering now with these symptoms. Good luck and some healing vibes


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## Doodlebugsmom (Aug 1, 2002)

I can't get past the fact that they would feel like having company if they were that sick! Crazy.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

I wouldn't remain friends with them anyway. That was very disrespectful. A cold, I could see, but not a situation like that at all.


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## oaktreemama (Oct 12, 2010)

Quote:


> They believe that is somehow trying to live in a bubble and that people are going to get sick anyway.


Argh. I hate this justification. Yes going out in public means we are exposed to lots and lots of germs. But, that doesn't mean we shouldn't be taking common sense approaches to these kinds of things. And part of that is if you or your child are very sick with a fever and vomiting DON'T INVITE PEOPLE OVER.

Sorry for yelling but this is a huge pet peeve of mine.


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## crunchy_mommy (Mar 29, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *DariusMom*
> 
> Wow. That's crazy.
> 
> ...


DItto to this. I'm usually not into avoiding illness but if any of my friends are (or are clearly in a position of vulnerability, like you guys are), I absolutely respect that. These people are not your friends. Friends do not lie to you or blatantly disregard your wishes. I would not spend time with them anymore, and if they ask you can say outright that you don't want to get sick & you can't trust them to tell you if they are sick. There is just no excuse for the way they are treating you.


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## Peony (Nov 27, 2003)

> These people are not your friends. Friends do not lie to you or blatantly disregard your wishes. I would not spend time with them anymore, and if they ask you can say outright that you don't want to get sick & you can't trust them to tell you if they are sick. There is just no excuse for the way they are treating you.


I agree. While these may be people that you enjoy or generally like, they flat out lied when asked if they were ill. They are showing you plan as day that unless you want to be sick every time you see them, you can not be friends with them.


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## rightkindofme (Apr 14, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *crunchy_mommy*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> ...


Oh man, what these ladies said. I would also send an email involving language not permitted on MDC about what kind of people I think they are. I'm really not good with people lying to me. That's a complete deal breaker. I am currently hiding at home with my two kids because we all have a nasty cold/flu but there isn't vomiting or anything like that. I still don't think that anyone (especially not my pregnant friends!!) needs to suffer through this. Oh man. I can't express what I feel because it violates the UA up one side and down the other. I'm really angry on your behalf. I'm so sorry.


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## dalia (Sep 3, 2007)

I would probably ease my family away from them as well, but I think if you are/were their friend you need to be honest with them. If you are, then they can maybe learn from the situation, but more importantly you will feel better about it. That last paragraph in your op, if I were you I would be saying that directly to the mother. It was perfect.

As far as her just justifying it, whether she does or not doesn't matter. What matters is that you showed her what a real friend does. Real friends are honest with each other. I know it's hard because you don't like confrontation, but in my experience when you end a friendship and the other person doesn't know why, it kinda leaves this "thing" in your life that is never done. JMHO. I hope you all feel better soon!


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## Chicky2 (May 29, 2002)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Love*
> 
> Anyway, so they invited us over around Christmas. I didn't want to go, but DH talked to the other dad, and the dad said they were all feeling great, no worries, etc. I even had DH tell the other dad that we didn't want to get sick right now because 1) I am pregnant, 2) we are moving, 3) we have a baby and a toddler, 4) we have dental work coming up that can't be put off. But he said they were all just fine.


I cannot wrap my head around what kind of person would say this when they are obviously sick. I just don't get it. Is he that out of tune w/his family?

I am the type of person who even w/some sniffles, or allergies we *think* are allergies but youneverknowitcouldbeacold, will tell my friends/family and then let them decide what they are comfortable with. Maybe that comes from having 4 kids and understanding how long it can take for "just a cold" to go through every.single.person in the family, I dunno. Good grief, some people...

I have a friend I miss terribly. She lives an hour away and we never get to see each other because of conflicting schedules. She's the only person in my life who gets all the little things (er, big things) about having a larger family. She just gets it. Anyway, we have been trying to get our families together for quite awhile now, but someone keeps getting sick. Christmas time it was flu, 2 weekends ago it was their son who hadn't passed the 48 hr rule (no going anywhere for 48 hrs after vommiting), which I really, really respect. Last weekend it was finances, but this weekend it is probably going to be us bowing out. We've got a tummy bug and although I think it's hit everyone it's going to hit, I'm worried it will be a bad decision to have their large family out here--staying overnight too. I will certainly be talking to her about it, though!

I guess, OP, that I wouldn't want to be friends anymore. I have to say, though, that I would say what I needed to say to her/them first, and give it another chance (because you do enjoy them). Next time we got together I would walk in, take a look at everyone, then decide if I'd bring in my kids. How could she blame you? If she lies to you again about it, you and your dh need to make a firm decision about it, and let them know.


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## tinuviel_k (Apr 29, 2004)

I would be unable to remain friends with anyone who did not respect me enough to tell me the truth about something they KNOW was important to me. I would cut off the friendship and I would tell them why. Sure, they are going to argue with you and probably blame you. So what? You do not deserve to have friends that lie for their own convenience at the expense of your family's health.


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## erinsmom1996 (Apr 9, 2006)

I agree with other posters. I would tell them very clearly why I was upset and why I was no longer going to be friendly with them. They have no consideration or respect for other people!


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## ancoda (Oct 17, 2005)

That really is not respectful at all of you and your family. Some of us do live more in a bubble then others of us and that in itself should be respected. I do not know anyone who goes out of their way to expose themselves and their family to some horrid flu. I am in the group that says this friendship is not worth maintaining, and I probably would tell them directly why I am no longer willing to associate with them.

I hope you are able to get well soon.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

My whole take on being exposed to illness is usually 180 degrees from the majority on MDC. And, even I find this just beyond obnoxious. You specifcally asked about their health. You told them all your reasons for really, really, really not wanting to be ill right now. They flat out lied to you. That's just sooooo messed up. I have to agree with other posters. I think I'd be inclined to end this particular friendship.


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## BroodyWoodsgal (Jan 30, 2008)

I have to admit to you that at certain points in your post, I was so befuddled at their behavior that I actually laughed. This is so BIZARRE! This behavior is absolutely unreal. You can't be friends with people who would treat you like this....I've never even HEARD of anything like this before. Get better mama...I'm so sorry you are sick with so much on your plate. That stinks.


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## K1329 (Apr 6, 2009)

I brought ds on a playdate a few months ago, the other kid was sick and the mom hadn't mentioned it. He was sick with a minor cold, but, my ds caught it and we ended up spending time, $ on a cold which developed into an ear infection. Had she mentioned it, I might have chosen to go, maybe not. But, I was really pissed that I wasn't given the choice. I always mention "dc seems to have a cold, but, is playing/feels good, do you want to cancel?" Give people the choice. But, to outright lie? I agree with the pps. Not worth maintaining the relationship.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

The only mistake you made was not leaving as soon as you realized one of their kids had a fever.

Even if you hadn't gotten sick, it would be time to cease contact with those liars.


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## musikat (Oct 30, 2002)

Wow, that is just extremely inconsiderate. I won't usually mention a "cold" to someone if we are scheduled to get together. My theory is if my child would/did go to school, they are well enough to socialize. However, I make exceptions to that in cases of pregnant women, women with newborns or anyone I think would be immune compromised for any reason. Fever, vomiting, diarrhea, pink eye, etc. warrant cancellation of plans. period.

I did face a dilemma this past Christmastime when my youngest had a fever the night before a big Christmas party that we were hosting and that would have been difficult to cancel. I figured at worst I would "quarantine" my son upstairs if he were still sick and tell people about the situation. However, the next day he was fine, and he never vomited or anything like that, so we went ahead and had the party as normal. Had anyone called me and asked, though, I would have told them about the fever. What your "friends" did is unconscionable. Sorry you are still sick!


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## Spring Lily (Sep 26, 2006)

They lied to you and disregarded your wishes--which were completely reasonable. I'm with the others, it's time to end the friendship.

I also might send a short reply to her email that you were sorry to find out that he husband had lied to you. I'd probably leave it at that and not talk to her anymore, even if she emailed you again. At least she'd know why you were upset.

I feel really sorry for those kids, it doesn't sound like they're being well cared for, either. What a strange story! Why did they even want you to come over if things were that bad!?


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## Climbing Rose (Dec 10, 2006)

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## pink gal (Feb 27, 2008)

True friends respect and respond to your needs. It is sad that this family is unable to do that for you, but it shows that they are not true friends. They put their own need for companionship above your very real need to not expose your family to illness for very valid reasons. It is sad to realize that people you enjoy being with are not able to be the kind of friends you would like, but they don't sound like they have the capacity to consider your family's needs.


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## shanniesue2 (Jul 4, 2007)

they had vomit all over the bathroom and still invited people over?!?! WHO does that? Seriously?!?! I'm just floored that you had to clean vomit up in the bathroom in order to go pee. I think if I had walked into a comit covered bathroom, I would have walked right back out and gone to the closest gas station. YUCK!

I would be dreaming up all sorts of nasty emails to send to them... heck I am and I'm not even in the situation... something along the lines of:

Dear People,

I wanted to thank you for your generosity in inviting us to your house to share your time, food, fevers, snot, and vomit with us. Our lives have truly been affected by your "generosity." I do not regret to inform you that we will no longer be accepting future such invitations from your family, nor will we be offering.

Sincerely,

Me


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## swd12422 (Nov 9, 2007)

I am amazed at this. I just had a friend cancel a playdate with me and DS b/c her DS threw up. The kid was not sick (as far as she could tell), and threw up b/c he was crying so hard b/c Daddy had to go back to work after a few weeks off for vacation. BUT, she couldn't be certain it wasn't the start of something, so she canceled. I thought it was ridiculous. But glad she not only let me know, but cared enough about her own child's comfort to let him rest quietly for the day, just in case. And as ridiculous as it sounds (we *know*, like 99%, that it was due to him being so upset and not to being sick), I probably would have done the same for my son.


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## ssh (Aug 12, 2007)

With my DD's last playdate I called because she had been coughing the day before. I thought it was because we had been in and out alot and there was a big temperature and humidity difference. But I called to give the other mom the choice if she didn't want to take the chance my DD was coming down with something. The other mom said to come anyway and my DD didn't get sick, but if everyone had gotten sick at least the other mom had been given choice in the matter.


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## Climbing Rose (Dec 10, 2006)




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## Climbing Rose (Dec 10, 2006)

Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking about the bathroom cleaning either. I am pregnant and at the moment I just really had to pee.

It wasn't vomit though. It was explosive something else. I know, sooooo gross.


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## rubidoux (Aug 22, 2003)

Gosh, that's messed up. I am not at all germ phobic, and I admit to feeling like rolling my eyes sometimes about people who are overly cautious (sorry!). I feel generally that it is fine to be exposed to stuff. BUT I would never knowingly expose people to a feverous or vomiting child, or one who's having explosive whatever, even if they hadn't expressed a desire not to be exposed. Also, no sharing pink eye or lice. And if one of my kids has a cough or that terrible yucky nose syndrome, I will give warning. And even though I would almost never turn down a chance to play, even if there's a cold or whatever, I do think I should be warned jic there's some reason I don't want to be exposed.

I'm amazed that they'd want to be entertaining while their kids are feeling like crap. When my LO's are feverish, I want them to be as relaxed and comfortable as possible and I want to be available for cuddles and orange juice refills. These people sound a little nuts to me.


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## Mammajamma (Feb 9, 2008)

I think we know the same family!!! ( just kidding probably not) but we know a family just like this! my hubby read this and was laughing because we have just decided to not see this other family till the summer time because we ALWAYS get whatever they have and we usually are never sick . One example is we were perfectly healthy and the dh in this family came by our house for literally 5 minutes and we were all deathly ill for three weeks with whatever he infected us with. The thing is they vaccinate, we don't and it is like they are constantly shedding or something. Anyway, said all that just to say~ I feel your pain.


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

That's awful. My circle of friends generally doesn't cancel plans over mild illnesses, but we at least tell each other so that each family can make their own decision about whether to attend. Even if your friend thinks that other people try to live in a bubble, it's their right to do so! Why does she think she gets to make that decision for other people? I can't imagine flat-out lying to a friend about something like that, especially since they were sick with a bad illness! What disrespectful people. What would you say to one of your children if they were friends with someone who disrespected them that way?

I would end the friendship and tell her exactly why, but if for some crazy reason you end up continuing to see them, be prepared to turn around immediately and go home at the very first sign of illness. When you walked in and saw the glassy-eyed daughter on the couch, it would have been perfectly fine to turn on your heel and say, "Oh, you said you guys weren't sick but it's obvious that you are. Bye!"


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## Climbing Rose (Dec 10, 2006)

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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

This is quite possibly one of the most bizarre things I've read. I mean, they sound for all intents and purposes otherwise like a really lovely family and good friends. But then this big THING. It's so WEIRD. Jeepers.

I'm glad you're all recovering, and I'm sorry for the loss of the friendship.


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

I'm sorry that it sounds like you'll be losing people who are otherwise good friends, but this is a huge issue and I would do the very same thing you are (keep my distance).

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Love*
> 
> Someday when I have time I can tell the whooping cough story and their pink eye story.


I wanna hear!


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## Climbing Rose (Dec 10, 2006)

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## BroodyWoodsgal (Jan 30, 2008)

Okayyyyy....serious question here....what is WRONG with these peopleeeee!!!! AAAAAAHHHHH! I'm glad you've had some sort of closure-ish meeting with them...I don't understand why these people insist upon infecting other people with terrible things! Also, they sound like they are really sick ALL the time???

Good riddance...you don't need friends like that.


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## branbran54 (Jun 16, 2010)

We cancel if anyone is sick. We don't go out if we have a cold or anything. I am kind of surprised that people wouldn't cancel or tell others that they even have a cold. What might be a minor cold to you, could be horrible for someone else. We spend a lot of time with dh's elderly parents. This means they are exposed to whatever we are. When FIL gets sick, it gets bad. He got a stomach virus last Christmas and was in the hospital for three days. I think it is just common sense to tell others anytime you are sick no matter how minor you think it might be.


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## Lisa1970 (Jan 18, 2009)

I am really sorry. I know how hard it can be to walk from an otherwise good relationship over something, but I think you need to. You cannot trust them. Seriously though, if they took the bullet for you, how much will it matter while you have pneumonia for it? They are SENDING you bullets!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Love*
> 
> Okay, so DH is out and just ran into the family that got us sooo sick.
> 
> ...


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

love i can understand where the other family is coming from.

if one is continually sick - something always up - then that family can NEVER do anything. not go over, not invite over anyone.

so i really feel for them. its a hard place to be. when you cant do anything because for you sick is normal.

but it seems its a whole different attitude the mom has that really disgusts me.

esp. when you asked.

i am sorry they are the 'die for you' family, i am sorry you are losing an otherwise good friendship, but really you dont want a 'keep you company in sickness' either.

it is an extremely disrespectful attitude to have. honestly. their friendship is far too giving than you like - or anyone for that matter.

esp. pregnant. PREGNANT. who does that to a pregnant lady ya know. to a child older than 3 months - danger period kinda over, but a pregnant mommy. noooooooooo!!!

i wonder what makes the mom so defensive. why is she so passive aggressive.

even with our kids being 8 we always let the other parent know if our child is sick to give them an option to cancel.


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## crunchy_mommy (Mar 29, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *meemee*
> 
> love i can understand where the other family is coming from.
> 
> ...


This. I am sick a lot. Almost never something contagious, but I am always sick, and have been since I was a kid, though it's gotten better in recent years. It's hard to do... anything. I don't usually cancel outings when I'm sick, because I'd never get to do ANYTHING. The line between 'contagious illness' and 'just allergies/non-contagious sick' has blurred a lot for me (which was only encouraged by years of forcing myself to go to school/work no matter how sick I was, because I had already missed many days). So I really, truly do understand where Sick Family might be coming from, especially if 'always sick' is multiplied times 5 (or however many are in their family!) I'm lucky my DH & DS are rarely sick, otherwise we would literally be housebound! I go stir-crazy! And of course they are defensive -- they know they got you sick, & they feel horrible, but admitting it would mean no more getting together when sick, and that probably scares them to death...

But that being said... and despite the fact that I no longer try to avoid getting sick (which has seemed to help me as well as benefit DS!)... I would never in a million years do what your 'friends' have done to you. I'm so sorry your are losing otherwise good friends because of this.


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## chaoticzenmom (May 21, 2005)

I can see your "new friend" questionnaire now. Will you or have you ever intentionally exposed friends to horrific communicable diseases? If you are coughing and a friend asks if you're healthy enough for a playdate, what would be your response? Do you believe in Germ Theory and if not, please explain?

Funny about clearing out a table of 30...and sad.


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

meemee and crunchy_mommy, there's "sick", and then there's fever/diarrhea/junky cough. I continue with business as usual when we have colds, which in some winters has been near constant for a few months. But when there is a fever/diarrhea/vomiting/junky cough/copious dripping of hideous neon snot or a child wants to just lay around, well then we keep it to ourselves, and I can't quite believe that there are people who keep going on as usual with that kind of stuff going on and call that "normal". I mean, if they knew enough to tell their toddler to stay away from other kids (which, yeah, that's really gonna happen) then they knew enough that it was something gross and contagious.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Yeah, as soon as they told their toddler to stay away from the visiting kids that pushed things from "clueless and inconsiderate" to "malicious lying".


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *The4OfUs*
> 
> there's "sick", and then there's fever/diarrhea/junky cough.


Yep. And also, there's people who know their circle of friends are okay with getting together despite mild illnesses, and then there's people who intentionally lie even when asked directly about being sick. These people are just in a whole different realm. I mean, this is MDC and where there's a wide range of comfort levels regarding illness, and yet there's 100% agreement that this family's actions are over the line.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

It seems just selfish to me. They want fun, and they don't care how it affects the people they're with, or how it affects their own children, because it's no fun to have people over when you're that sick so their kids can't be enjoying it either.


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## crunchy_mommy (Mar 29, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *The4OfUs*
> 
> meemee and crunchy_mommy, there's "sick", and then there's fever/diarrhea/junky cough. I continue with business as usual when we have colds, which in some winters has been near constant for a few months. But when there is a fever/diarrhea/vomiting/junky cough/copious dripping of hideous neon snot or a child wants to just lay around, well then we keep it to ourselves, and I can't quite believe that there are people who keep going on as usual with that kind of stuff going on and call that "normal". I mean, if they knew enough to tell their toddler to stay away from other kids (which, yeah, that's really gonna happen) then they knew enough that it was something gross and contagious.


I will totally admit it -- I've gone to school or work with fevers. I would continue as normal if I have a cough, runny nose, etc. In fact one of the only things that keeps me home is a migraine -- and only because I get partial blindness & half my body goes numb so I truly can't function (especially to drive!) I just have gotten used to going about my business because I had to, contagious or not.

However, since DS was born (and I've talked to other moms), my perspective on this has changed quite a bit. For my own sake & my family's, I really see no need to limit exposure to illness in general, though I was worried about it when DS was a newborn so I sort of get where others are coming from. MDC especially has alerted me to the fears others have about being around sick kids. And because of that, I'm now much more cautious around others, even though I don't really fully understand it. But many things still don't stop us -- if I know I'm not going to be around anyone pregnant/newborn/immunocompromised, we often do go out, because it is better for us -- we recover quicker & it distracts us from our misery. But, like I said, I would never lie about it, or intentionally expose someone who I knew was trying to limit exposure, etc.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *limabean*
> 
> Yep. And also, there's people who know their circle of friends are okay with getting together despite mild illnesses, and then there's people who intentionally lie even when asked directly about being sick. These people are just in a whole different realm. I mean, this is MDC and where there's a wide range of comfort levels regarding illness, and yet there's 100% agreement that this family's actions are over the line.


Yes, this.


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *The4OfUs*
> 
> meemee and crunchy_mommy, there's "sick", and then there's fever/diarrhea/junky cough. I continue with business as usual when we have colds, which in some winters has been near constant for a few months. But when there is a fever/diarrhea/vomiting/junky cough/copious dripping of hideous neon snot or a child wants to just lay around, well then we keep it to ourselves, and I can't quite believe that there are people who keep going on as usual with that kind of stuff going on and call that "normal". I mean, if they knew enough to tell their toddler to stay away from other kids (which, yeah, that's really gonna happen) then they knew enough that it was something gross and contagious.


oh i agree. when i said sick i meant horrible contagious sick.

it still makes me feel for them. can you imagine continuing to be cooped inside the house because someone is always horribly sick/contagious.

so i feel sad for that family and in some ways can understand why they behave the way they do. i can empathise with their actions. but it doesnt mean i approve.

but its not ok to insist upon others. just coz i have a belief, an attitude - no matter what it is - sickness, abortion, pop tarts - its one thing to believe in it and a whole other thing to impose that on others. that's so not cool.


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## camracrazy (May 27, 2006)

Honestly, there seems to be a lot of this attitude going around lately.

We used to go to a homeschool co-op. Some members complained about people bringing their kids when the kids (or parent) was obviously sick. So we had an e-mail discussion about it, and I would say 1/3 to 1/2 the people said they didn't have a problem with bringing their kids when they were sick. One mom blatantly stated that she didn't care if her kids were sick, no matter what they had, and if they wanted to come to co-op then they were coming to co-op. We stopped going after a combination of that AND the fact that they didn't tell us that the building we were meeting in had an on going mold problem. My middle dd and I both have lung disease and breathing in mold can be very harmful to us. I got very sick and guess what I was diagnosed with? Aspergillis growing in my lungs. I have been battling it for more than 2 years.

We also have a family at church that comes every week no matter what. The oldest girl, who is about 6 now, will come in and tell everyone, "I've had diarrhea ALL day" or they will all have nasty hacking coughs. We have left church because my kids are in same bible class as them and there is no way I want my kids trapped in a tiny classroom with someone who is that sick. Not to mention that at those ages (6 and I think the next youngest is 4-5) they don't always have great hand-washing skills, don't remember to cover their coughs, or will cough or sneeze all over their hands than then touch everything around them! It's not the fault of the sick kid of course, but it irks me that I have to disappoint my healthy kids and make them leave because the sick kid has clueless parents.


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## Climbing Rose (Dec 10, 2006)

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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

I get that they have a different view of being sick and living life than many do (ie. the "not going to live in a bubble" thing). My friends and family are actually very similar to them in that respect. I'm more cautious than I used to be, as MDC has made me much more aware of potential issues with compromised immune systems and such. Honestly - I can even see not twigging that they should avoid a pregnant woman, because I've never wanted people to avoid me if they're sick when I'm pregnant (I mean - unless it's rubella or something). But, I just can't get past the fact that they flat out lied about being sick when they were asked straight out. That's just soooooo unreasonable!


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Sounds like they don't actually get sick that often, they just stay sick for a hugely long time because they don't do things to assist in healing.


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## Adaline'sMama (Apr 16, 2010)

I think your friends are crazy. My family stays doesnt stay home with a cold, but with a real fever, upset stomach, ect, we not only stay home, but we tell everyone we are sick and to not come over. I have found that I am one of the more lax people that I know about germs, and I find their behavior to be totally offensive. I would confront them about the lying and tell them that for a while I only want to meet in public places (where you can easily leave or be away from their kids). I suggest letting her know that your trust has be violated and will need to be rebuilt, otherwise the friendship is going to fail.


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## Agatha_Ann (Apr 5, 2009)

We are pretty careful about being around sick people. When I am pregnant I get sick if I hear about someone being sick! My youngest also had RSV when he was 10 days old, and had scarring to his lungs. When he gets sick it hits him a lot harder than it would had that never happened. I would be livid if I asked someone the way your family did and they lied like that.

My DH has cousins who are really selfish and insensitive when it comes to illness, but they are opposite of your friends. They will send an email right before they leave their house to come visit (they live out of town) "Dear Family, FYI...DD has polio and DS has small pox, see you soon!" It makes us SO mad! A couple times they have been confronted and they will say, well we told you before we came! Ok, so all the healthy people have to stay home because you are insanely rude?

I hope you find better (and healthier!) friends after your move, OP. Feel better soon.


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