# I think Dh finally gets it!



## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

i talked to him on the way to VA. Since it was a 12 hour trip I got to spend some time alone with him in the moving truck. My parents also came so they were able to keep Tracy with them for awhile.

I told him (kind of apologizing) for how much I talk about the baby we lost and that I bring it up quite a bit. About how I'd be maternity clothes and how we'd be about ready to feel the baby move and such. He said that he understood why I talked about it all the time. And while he wasn't sure how he felt about it it was good that I felt comfortable enough to bring it up and talk to him about it.

This conversation helped me. It made me feel like dh understood why I was upset. It also assured me that he was listening!


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## LiamnEmma (Nov 20, 2001)

I'm glad you feel listened to. It's so hard to have a partner who grieves so differently than you. I often felt weird with dh after my miscarriages, and after the second one we got into a yelling match one day when I was feeling particularly sad. But it got better over time. I think we accepted that we each mourn differently.


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## JessicaS (Nov 18, 2001)

I am glad your dh is starting to understand, I agree with LiamnEmma, it is hard to have a partner who grieves differently.


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## Ms. Mom (Nov 18, 2001)

That was the most shocking thing when we lost our baby. Dh cried right away, I was in shock and actually annoyed that he was so emotional.

Then, after all was said and done, I was an emotional wreck and he was back to work and acting like normal. It hurt me deeply.

We carry a life within us. Our body nurtures, then releases that life. I think we mourn our loss with our entire being. Which is why it's so intense for a woman.

I don't think men are less sensitive. I just think our feelings on this are naturally more intense.

However, when dh went back to work, he said people keept asking "how is Jacque?". It really hurt him that nobody seemed to realize that he also had lost his daughter.

Your talk with dh sounds very healing. I'm glad you had that time. Aren't long car rides WONDERFUL! Dh and I have solved the worlds problums on a car trip before









Gently,

Jacque


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## karenpl (Dec 18, 2001)

Wow Megan, sounds like a great talk you had with dh.
Who would have thought that long car trips would come in so handy in things like this? 

Karen


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