# Blanket training



## JamesMama

Anyone have a real link to this? Re the duggers?

I'm having an arugment with my aunt, she claims that the Duggers don't hit the babies to blanket train them, they just KNOW not to move (whatever). She's real big in to Ezzo and Dobson...we were discussing them because of the new show (she thinks they are just great...although she's a 2 kid type of person, kwim?)

Thanks!

I did google and can only find people saying stuff on message boards and blogs, thanks.


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## sprout 1

I had to do a search because I've never heard of it, or the Duggers for that matter... and don't really keep up on Ezzo... but I could only find ads and "learn blankets study blanketing" crap








sounds very interesting (ha) though







:


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## irinam

Duggars are very "interesting" family (freaky to me , sorry)

Here is what I got about blanket training

Quote:

They also practice blanket training. Know what that is? It means placing a baby on a blanket and then hitting all around the edge of the blanket with a wooden spoon or a stick as a threat to the baby not to get off the blanket. If the baby tries to crawl off, and it does, baby gets a couple whacks (usually on the back of the legs).

Once baby is "trained", then Mom can leave it there while she talks with others.
So , I bet they Know not to move in this case







:

Here are some links that talk about them

http://theologica.worldmagblog.com/t...sixteen_t.html

http://bunky.typepad.com/my_name_is_...ggar_deba.html


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## geek_the_girl

Quote:

They also practice blanket training. Know what that is? It means placing a baby on a blanket and then hitting all around the edge of the blanket with a wooden spoon or a stick as a threat to the baby not to get off the blanket. If the baby tries to crawl off, and it does, baby gets a couple whacks (usually on the back of the legs).

Once baby is "trained", then Mom can leave it there while she talks with others.
OMG! Thats horrible!!!


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## VaMountainMomma

That sounds so scary for a little one! I can't imagine!


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## Brigianna

Well, I blanket-trained my kids without hitting them, and I never even knew that some people used hitting as part of blanket-training until I read it here. But I'm not familiar with the people you're talking about. If they say they practice blanket-training and don't mention spanking, I wouldn't assume that they hit.


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## Kathryn

Using logic, I think we can correctly assume that the Dugger's hit with blanket training. The curriculum they use with their children is very fond of hitting.


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## sprout 1

Oh now I know who you're talking about. I saw their show and they did have a "paddle" hanging on the back of the door... I think it's safe to say they don't spare the rod.


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## ollineeba

that's horrible..


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## jakesmama

Wow, I couldn't read this and NOT post even though I haven't a clue who the Duggers are and had never heard of "blanket training" until now! Really? Parents train their kiddos to stay on a blanket so they can just walk away? First, that doesn't sound safe to me (what happens if the babe leaves anyway?). And, second, what does that teach the child? Even if you're not hitting it doesn't sound developmentally appropriate to me.







:

So, who are these people?


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## ShelFish

I literally jumped in my seat upon reading that quote. How sickening.


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## EvansMomma

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ShelFish*
I literally jumped in my seat upon reading that quote. How sickening.

ME TOO! I jumped, gasped, and slapped my hand on my mouth...


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## UnschoolnMa

Hurts my heart and soul to think of it.


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## Joannarachel

Blanket training is revolting.

I don't think much of the Duggars, either. More power to people who want to have large families, THAT I don't have a problem with, but their attitude toward and about their children is seriously disturbing.


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## georgia

We had a thread on blanket training awhile back. You might want to do a search for the term in this forum


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## sophiesue2

Quote:

jakesmama So, who are these people?
If you've got a few years, here's the thread


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## jakesmama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sophiesue2*
If you've got a few years, here's the thread

A few decades is more like it!








I remember this family now. I watched something on TLC about them back when they *only* had fifteen kids (I think mom was preg with number fifteen). I was trying to pick up on whether they were very attached-type family or not but that particular show didn't really let on too much. I can't imagine having that many children! So they blanket train, huh? Why not just have an older sib take care of the baby if mom's busy...I guess I need to go search up the blanket-training thread since I cannot seem to wrap my mind around why it would be useful or appropriate. Thanks for the link!


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## EvansMomma

Oh man...so I'm about mid way through the old thread about blanket training...and I think I might actually be feeling a bit ill. The whole concept just goes against everything in my soul...I am not sure who this "Gothard" person is that is referred to a lot in the old thread, but from the sounds of it - I am not going to search on google because he doesn't sound like the type of crap I want to put in my head. Blech.


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## MommyDOK

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JamesMama*
She's real big in to Ezzo .


I'm not sure about blanket training, but tell your aunt about Ezzo.info and that Ezzo was excommunicated by his church! John MacArthur. That is a BIG deal for any christian.


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## EvansMomma

Yeah, I just read the ENTIRE old thread - all the longwinded responses!
My eyes have been opened. I had no knowledge of blanket training before now.
But now my eyes also hurt. That's a lot of reading.


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## irinam

Quote:


Originally Posted by *EvansMomma*
Yeah, I just read the ENTIRE old thread - all the longwinded responses!
My eyes have been opened. I had no knowledge of blanket training before now.
But now my eyes also hurt. That's a lot of reading.



















You are tougher than me. I read two pages and gave up







:


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## Brigianna

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kathryn*
Using logic, I think we can correctly assume that the Dugger's hit with blanket training. The curriculum they use with their children is very fond of hitting.

What curriculum is that? You're talking about a homeschool program? That promotes hitting/spanking of *babies*? That's creepy.


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## Brigianna

Quote:


Originally Posted by *morgansmom*
Oh now I know who you're talking about. I saw their show and they did have a "paddle" hanging on the back of the door... I think it's safe to say they don't spare the rod.

I have a paddle on the back of my door and I've never used it to hit a child. I mean, maybe they do hit their kids, but I wouldn't assume so just because they blanket-train and own a paddle.


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## jakesmama

> You are tougher than me. I read two pages and gave up
> 
> 
> 
> Ha! Me too. I got the jist and can't see where this is developmentally appropriate whether or not one hits to enforce the training! I would much rather take my child with me to the restroom than to leave them on a blanket with what are essentially invisible walls put there by either fear or manipulation. Plus, what happens should they move? Does one scold and punish a child for doing what is exactly their nature? What if they get into danger while you are away? I think it's interesting the things that people think of that have never crossed my mind. Blanket training! Who'd of thunk?
Click to expand...


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## Junebug

Quote:

Well, I blanket-trained my kids without hitting them, and I never even knew that some people used hitting as part of blanket-training until I read it here.
Wow! I've never heard of it happening any other way!

so, do tell... how does one blanket "train" a baby AP style???
I'm just trying to imagine my toddler quietly hanging out on a blanket on her own accord.







:

...nope, can't do it!


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## Faerieshadow

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Junebug*
Wow! I've never heard of it happening any other way!

so, do tell... how does one blanket "train" a baby AP style???
I'm just trying to imagine my toddler quietly hanging out on a blanket on her own accord.







:

...nope, can't do it!

Subbing. I can't imagine it either.







:


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## EvansMomma

Great.
I read through 10 VERY long pages of very thought provoking discussion, go to bed, realize I'm hungry so I'm up eating a sandwich and meander over here - and the discussion is on again...you ladies are going to make it impossible for me to get any sleep! lol

I mean, yeah I read everything on that old thread, but I STILL for the life of me cannot put 'blanket-training' and 'attachment parenting' into the same realm of thought. How can you profess to follow the latter, yet DO the former?

And I can't wrap my brain around the reasoning behind expecting an INFANT to have the ability to process his thoughts in a way to think "Okay, Mommy says to stay here, so to heck with how badly I really want to crawl over to that ray of sun on the floor over there...I'll just stay put". It's just not in their realm of possibilities.

bah.


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## Brigianna

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jakesmama*
Plus, what happens should they move? Does one scold and punish a child for doing what is exactly their nature?

I never scolded or punished mine. I can't speak for these other people of course.


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## Mom4tot

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Brigianna*
I never scolded or punished mine. I can't speak for these other people of course.

Why did they stay on the blanket?

When my kids played on a blanket, say at the park or something, we always moved OFF of it...I can't imagine any mobile baby willingly staying in one spot very long.

What is the purpose of the blanket at home?


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## Brigianna

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Junebug*
so, do tell... how does one blanket "train" a baby AP style???
I'm just trying to imagine my toddler quietly hanging out on a blanket on her own accord.







:

...nope, can't do it!


Not that I particularly want to rehash this, but I described it in this thread.

Anyway, I'm just saying that not all blanket-training parents spank. In fact I would guess that most don't.


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## Mom4tot

Brigianna, I haven't read the other thread. Thanks for the link.


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## JamesMama

Thanks for the links.

I can't wrap my brain around blanket training being remotely AP (or heck even human...sorry) My aunts kids are both beyond the baby stage but I did email her ezzo.info and she just said that people took it too far and that using it responsible got her DS sleeping throught he night at 2 months, DD at 3 (then later she said 18 months? So maybe she just did Ezzo with her DS? They were MUCH stricter with the boy than the girl...who knows?


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## Kathryn

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Brigianna*
What curriculum is that? You're talking about a homeschool program? That promotes hitting/spanking of *babies*? That's creepy.

Gothard.


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## Brigianna

Oh yeah I'd heard of him...

Is it possible they use his curriculum but not his parenting advice? I know a couple of people who used Gothard curiculum but I don't think they spanked babies (they spanked older kids though, sadly).


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## Joannarachel

The duggars flat out admitted to blanket training their babies by hitting them in an interview a few years back uke

Sorry, I don't see anything AP about 'blanket-training' a baby, hitting or otherwise.


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## Nora'sMama

Brigianna, why do you have a paddle hanging on your door? Just curious? My kindergarten teacher had one on her door (in Louisiana in 1980), and it was clearly there to scare us into good behavior...I can't imagine another reason for having one hung up! But you obviously aren't into spanking/scaring your kids, so...I am confused.


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## Brigianna

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Nora'sMama*
Brigianna, why do you have a paddle hanging on your door? Just curious? My kindergarten teacher had one on her door (in Louisiana in 1980), and it was clearly there to scare us into good behavior...I can't imagine another reason for having one hung up! But you obviously aren't into spanking/scaring your kids, so...I am confused.

It's kind of my "good luck paddle." It's a memento from my pre-family days. My kids aren't scared by it, because they've never been hit so they have no reason to associate it with hitting.

It could also be used for self-defense, like if an intruder came in.

Anyway, maybe that's kind of an obscure reason to have a paddle, but if we don't know that these people hit their kids, I would give them the benefit of the doubt.

And even if they do spank their older kids (which is *wrong,* don't misunderstand me), I don't know that that necessarily means that they spank their babies for blanket-training. I think baby-spanking is pretty rare. I've reported it to cps every time I've seen it.


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## pookel

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Brigianna*
Not that I particularly want to rehash this, but I described it in this thread.

I see the other thread is closed, but I just wanted to comment that your actions seem reasonable enough to me. My son is another one who is good at understanding requests and doing what he's asked, but can't stand to be confined. And he's also always been independent - doesn't want to be held or bothered when he's busy playing. So I can see something like this working on him (and he certainly would have screamed his displeasure if it wasn't suited to him).

I guess I don't see "stay on the blanket" as being any different from "stay away from the DVD shelf," which we successfully taught Corbin at around the same age. And I don't see what's so "un-AP" about it, except for its unfortunate similarity to the method involving wooden paddles.


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## Nora'sMama

I'd like to think it was rare to spank a baby, but I have seen my own cousins do it to their dc







...it is not at all uncommon in rural Louisiana, where I have family. I would be shocked, however, to see anyone I know here in California spank their baby. Different culture.

I never heard of blanket-training, though, until I heard about the Duggar family! Sadly, through my kindergarten experience, I *did* know about paddles. I got paddled once in K, for leaving the single-file line down to the playground to look at something, and it was such a humiliating experience that it has overshadowed anything positive I might have otherwise remembered from Kindergarten. It was so nice the next year in 1st grade when we moved back to CA and I didn't have to fear my teacher anymore.

(Sorry to go a bit OT! But thinking about the paddle brought back awful memories.)


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## Brigianna

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Nora'sMama*
I'd like to think it was rare to spank a baby, but I have seen my own cousins do it to their dc







...it is not at all uncommon in rural Louisiana, where I have family. I would be shocked, however, to see anyone I know here in California spank their baby. Different culture.

Here in Georgia spanking is really, really common, but usually not in infancy--it's illegal to hit a child younger than 2. But the dedicated child-torture fetishists are secretive about what they do, so maybe it's unfortunately more common than I realize.

Quote:

_I never heard of blanket-training, though, until I heard about the Duggar family! Sadly, through my kindergarten experience, I *did* know about paddles. I got paddled once in K, for leaving the single-file line down to the playground to look at something, and it was such a humiliating experience that it has overshadowed anything positive I might have otherwise remembered from Kindergarten. It was so nice the next year in 1st grade when we moved back to CA and I didn't have to fear my teacher anymore._

_(Sorry to go a bit OT! But thinking about the paddle brought back awful memories.)_
I'm so sorry. That is disgusting. I will never understand the intense hatred these people have for innocent children.


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## Brigianna

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pookel*
I see the other thread is closed, but I just wanted to comment that your actions seem reasonable enough to me. My son is another one who is good at understanding requests and doing what he's asked, but can't stand to be confined. And he's also always been independent - doesn't want to be held or bothered when he's busy playing. So I can see something like this working on him (and he certainly would have screamed his displeasure if it wasn't suited to him).

I guess I don't see "stay on the blanket" as being any different from "stay away from the DVD shelf," which we successfully taught Corbin at around the same age. And I don't see what's so "un-AP" about it, except for its unfortunate similarity to the method involving wooden paddles.

Yeah, it definately depends on the kid and his temperment. It wasn't a problem for my kids, but I could never blanket-train my baby cousin because he hates to be put down for even a short time. I never would have thought anything of it, but MDC has opened my eyes to the dark, dark side of child care.


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## Nora'sMama

Well, I don't think my cousins are child-torture fetishists...it's just that if you choose to "pop" your 11-month-old on the leg or swat his butt for grabbing something, not everyone will approve, but it isn't considered beyond the pale there. I never saw the cousins that do this act sadistically; in their mind, they were being "firm" and teaching obedience. It is really really sad to see someone hit a baby, especially your own cousin.







Luckily I have never seen this since I had Nora - I would not have been able to restrain myself from giving this particular cousin a piece of my mind. (Just to clarify, most of my relatives would not do this, although they might spank an older child.)

As far as my K teacher, you know, I think part of her *did* (and does, she's still teaching







) feel an "intense hatred" for children. She seemed to enjoy telling the class whose turn it was to be paddled. She ran an extremely tight ship, which makes no sense for a KINDERGARTEN. I doubt that most teachers who use corporal punishment use it as liberally and as gleefully as she.







She has a DD my age, too (who was not in my class) - doesn't make sense why she would be so full of rage at kids. But, she was. I wish I had been able to tell my mother about it - she might very well have pulled me out of school. It is really sad IMO that corporal punishment is still allowed in schools, in some states (don't know about GA).

I read some of the blanket training thread and am surprised, frankly, that you were able to make the training "stick" without ten million repetitions. I have never tried to train DD to do anything, but I can't imagine that just putting her back on the blanket a few times would have been enough to "blanket train" her!! She would have thought it was a game and I can imagine her gladly leading me to "chase" her back onto the blanket for as long as I could stand it...







I do think that babyproofing and/or closing off rooms is far far preferable to training a child not to get off a blanket, no matter how gently the training is accomplished. Is this something that is done a lot in GA?


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## Brigianna

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Nora'sMama*
Well, I don't think my cousins are child-torture fetishists...it's just that if you choose to "pop" your 11-month-old on the leg or swat his butt for grabbing something, not everyone will approve, but it isn't considered beyond the pale there. I never saw the cousins that do this act sadistically; in their mind, they were being "firm" and teaching obedience. It is really really sad to see someone hit a baby, especially your own cousin.







Luckily I have never seen this since I had Nora - I would not have been able to restrain myself from giving this particular cousin a piece of my mind. (Just to clarify, most of my relatives would not do this, although they might spank an older child.)

Oh, I wasn't referring to your cousins, but people like the Pearls, etc. They do qualify as child-torture fetishists IMO. But it is disturbing in any case.

Quote:

_As far as my K teacher, you know, I think part of her *did* (and does, she's still teaching







) feel an "intense hatred" for children. She seemed to enjoy telling the class whose turn it was to be paddled. She ran an extremely tight ship, which makes no sense for a KINDERGARTEN. I doubt that most teachers who use corporal punishment use it as liberally and as gleefully as she.







She has a DD my age, too (who was not in my class) - doesn't make sense why she would be so full of rage at kids. But, she was. I wish I had been able to tell my mother about it - she might very well have pulled me out of school. It is really sad IMO that corporal punishment is still allowed in schools, in some states (don't know about GA)._
I was interpreting hanging up a paddle to intimidate children as a sign of intense hatred of them. I've seen that kind of attitude a lot among teachers; I don't know why.

Yes, corporal punishment is legal in schools here, although I don't think it's used very often in public schools. I've heard that in some of the private schoouls the kids are hit a lot morea often.

Quote:

_I read some of the blanket training thread and am surprised, frankly, that you were able to make the training "stick" without ten million repetitions. I have never tried to train DD to do anything, but I can't imagine that just putting her back on the blanket a few times would have been enough to "blanket train" her!! She would have thought it was a game and I can imagine her gladly leading me to "chase" her back onto the blanket for as long as I could stand it...







I do think that babyproofing and/or closing off rooms is far far preferable to training a child not to get off a blanket, no matter how gently the training is accomplished. Is this something that is done a lot in GA?_
It did take some repetition with my standging over them, but they didn't resist. I don't know how common it is here. I know I was blanket-trained as a baby in Wisconsin, and people I know from various places have done it. I actually thought it was fairly common everywhere.


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## Brigianna

I found this on the Duggars' family website at http://www.jimbob.info/faq.html

Quote:

Child Training Tip-With 6 little boys age 5 and under we've enjoyed much more peace, harmony, & order in our home since a friend shared with us about 'blanket time'. We began this training four years ago, when our second set of twins were 17 months old. They started learning self-control & obedience by sitting quietly on a blanket playing with a few toys. The key words are 'sit' & 'quiet'! At first, we practiced 5 minutes, 2-3 times a day, & worked up to 10-20 minutes at a time. This one tip has changed the atmosphere of our home tremendously. We don't have little ones tearing up the house as often & getting into things while we are busy. Occasionally, we still have those moments, but over all the little ones are content. This frees us to be able to accomplish more in our day! We have since, transferred this training to other areas, such as sitting during worship services, shopping trips & when visiting with company&#8230;etc. It's teaching them responsibility (knowing & doing what both God & others are expecting of them) at an early age.
So no mention of spanking. They don't really say how they taught them though.

But they are certainly a beautiful family.


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## IdentityCrisisMama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JamesMama*
...we were discussing them because of the new show

What show?


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## IdentityCrisisMama

Oh that TLC show about the family...Oh good, I thougt there was some Nanny 911 show about these people.


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## Nora'sMama

Brigianna, it doesn't sound *to me* like they hit them to blanket-train. I've seen the TV special on the Duggars and honestly they seem like fairly peaceful people and while they are definitely traditionalists (of a sort!) they don't seem like big punishers, either. I think their dc definitely know what is expected of them but it doesn't seem like there are a lot of threats or violence used (if any) to accomplish this. My personal opinion is that they are nuts to have so many kids (and Quiverfull or no Quiverfull, when you have 16 kids THAT IS A CHOICE YOU ARE MAKING), but if anyone could have 16 kids and make it look easy and like a choice that ISN'T nuts, they can!









(how's that for a backhanded compliment, Mrs. Duggar?







)


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## maya44

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Junebug*
Wow! I've never heard of it happening any other way!

so, do tell... how does one blanket "train" a baby AP style???
I'm just trying to imagine my toddler quietly hanging out on a blanket on her own accord.







:

...nope, can't do it!


I can't imagine blanket training but I will tell you that all of my three dd's would have absolutely done this if I asked them as toddlers.

Some children are just by their very own nature compliant. I know I was. My mom always tells me how she used to put me on the bottom step of our bungalow and tell me not to move when she hung up the laundry and I never ever did. Ever.

She was suprised when my little brother was not the same way.









I am a rule follower. This is where my "comfort zone" is. And my dd's are the same.


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## EvansMomma

I would imagine there is a huge difference between a TODDLER wanting to listen to their Mama, but a 8 month old baby? I am having a really hard time believing that they have the capabilities to think that way. At that age, babies are still being driven by instinct, not complex thoughts.


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## JamesMama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *IdentityCrisisMama*
What show?

On the road with 16 kids (or something like that) June 11, 8eastern I think...







:


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## JamesMama

Hmmm, my mom says she can remember being paddled in 2nd grade for asking to go to the bathroom. Luckily I'm younger (22) so I have never been paddled in school. My parents used to hit us (my middle brother and I...my baby brother came after my mom decided spanking is wrong) with a wooden paddle, about 1/4th of an inch thick with holes drilled in it so there is no wind resistance (seriously)...I'm glad my mom doesn't spank and my little brother has never had a spanking...


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## Kathryn

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Brigianna*
Oh yeah I'd heard of him...

Is it possible they use his curriculum but not his parenting advice? I know a couple of people who used Gothard curiculum but I don't think they spanked babies (they spanked older kids though, sadly).

I sincerely doubt it. They are huge Gothardites. They boys are planning to go to Gothard college, etc..


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## bamamom

i saw a couple of the shows on them........IRL i know a lot of quiverfull families, the biggest of which has ten kids.

I was fairly impressed with ms duggars ability to keep things running smoothly, and it is common in these large families for older kids to help school the younger. It is supposed to help the older ones by compounding what they have already learned in earlier years...

I was wondering if they spank...I never saw anything to that effect on the shows, but those kids surely are well behaved.

I am saddened to hear that she intentionally weans them early. THAT is not God's design for our bodies, IMHO.


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## BlueStateMama

Free Jinger!!!


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## scruggle

Quote:


Originally Posted by *boongirl*
This sounds like training a dog. Not that I would do this with my dog, but it does not sound like anything a human would do with a human.









That's exactly what I was thinking! How can someone treat thier children with so little respect. Why do these people have so many kids if they don't want to take care of them?


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## scruggle

Spanking is not the only form of punishment these children endure by being "blanket trained" As a self-proclaimed child development expert (and teacher of young children) I KNOW that young children (under 3 years old) should not be subject to sitting still on a blanket for any period of time. They should be free to explore all that they can explore safely. Plus, if the child is "blanket trained", what is mom doing while Juniors sitting on the blanket. Children need thier parents attention. Especially if we want them to be safe.


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## Kathryn

If they listen so well as to stay on the blanket without hitting them, why not just ask them to not do what you're keeping them from by blanket training them? Makes more sense.


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## Nora'sMama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BlueStateMama*
Free Jinger!!!










Is this a movement?







It is hard for me to see her name and not pronounce it in my head as "Jeenger" with a hard "g". I think they were really stretching to make Ginger into a "J" name. Why not Josephine? I don't think they have used that one.


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## AnneNic

Why would anyone do that to a child? Ugh!

I don't understand why anyone would want to blanket train a child. A child that age should be supervised.


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## Brigianna

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Nora'sMama*
Brigianna, it doesn't sound *to me* like they hit them to blanket-train. I've seen the TV special on the Duggars and honestly they seem like fairly peaceful people and while they are definitely traditionalists (of a sort!) they don't seem like big punishers, either. I think their dc definitely know what is expected of them but it doesn't seem like there are a lot of threats or violence used (if any) to accomplish this. My personal opinion is that they are nuts to have so many kids (and Quiverfull or no Quiverfull, when you have 16 kids THAT IS A CHOICE YOU ARE MAKING), but if anyone could have 16 kids and make it look easy and like a choice that ISN'T nuts, they can!









(how's that for a backhanded compliment, Mrs. Duggar?







)

I agree, but I do think (although I'm really really hesitant to bring this up) that a lot of the criticism of them is based on their religious beliefs and certain assumptions about them based on that. I am wondering, if they were of any other religion, would people be more willing to give them the benefit of the doubt regarding their parenting practices? But there is the perception that "everyone knows how *those people* [meaning traditionalist Christians] all beat their kids, have more kids to be having them and not because they love them, etc."


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## Brigianna

Quote:


Originally Posted by *EvansMomma*
I would imagine there is a huge difference between a TODDLER wanting to listen to their Mama, but a 8 month old baby? I am having a really hard time believing that they have the capabilities to think that way. At that age, babies are still being driven by instinct, not complex thoughts.


Every kid is different, of course, but in the case of my kids, they were much more compliant as babies and young toddlers than later. I had very naturally compliant babies, and it wasn't until some point after 2 that they seemed to realize "hey, I don't *have* to do what mama wants!" and that was when we got to the point where the response to every request was "no," even when it was something they wanted to do, just for the pleasure of exercising their newfound skill of defiance. And, don't misunderstand me, that is a good thing. Learning that you don't always have to do what someone else wants is an important part of learning identity. But at least for my kids, before they reached that point they were very naturally compliant without being punished or threatened or anything like that.


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## georgia

Quote:

Is this something that is done a lot in GA?
We've lived in four different cities in Georgia since having children, and in my volunteer work with hundreds of mothers over the years, I'd never heard of "blanket training" until recently







. So, in a nutshell, I wouldn't say blanket training is specific to Georgia









BTW, I was "naturally compliant," and according to my mom, if she told me to sit still in a certain spot until she said it was okay to move, I wouldn't move an inch. She's really sad those days are gone


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## Nora'sMama

Ha ha, 'compliant' is not how I would describe my spunky DD...







She knows what she wants even at 1 year old! She often plays happily by herself (when she is inspired to do so) in an area little larger than a blanket, but only when *she* wants to...if I set her down near her favorite toys b/c I need to do something, but she would rather be doing something else, I can't really imagine WHAT I could do to convince her to play where I want her to play!! She also can stiffen her body so that if she decides she doesn't want to get in the car seat, she is NOT getting in. I have to cajole her, distract her, use all manner of tricks to get her in the seat sometimes - just telling her that she has to get in means nothing to her whatsoever! My mom says I was the same as a baby, very strong-willed, and I never really changed as a child/adult. I wonder what a blanket-trainer would do with such a baby - would they try to break the child's will? That just seems unimaginable, and yet I know it must happen.


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## Nora'sMama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Brigianna*
I agree, but I do think (although I'm really really hesitant to bring this up) that a lot of the criticism of them is based on their religious beliefs and certain assumptions about them based on that. I am wondering, if they were of any other religion, would people be more willing to give them the benefit of the doubt regarding their parenting practices? But there is the perception that "everyone knows how *those people* [meaning traditionalist Christians] all beat their kids, have more kids to be having them and not because they love them, etc."

I hear you on that. But I have a lot of relatives who are fundamentalist Christians and while some of them fit the negative stereotypes to a T, one of my cousins is very AP and an extremely compassionate, gentle mother. She is also VERY religious and VERY "fundamentalist", not a "liberal Christian" at all. So perhaps because of my personal experience with fundamentalist Christians and their varying styles of parenting, I don't assume that a family is parenting a certain way just because they are religious. Honestly, I have found that *most of the time* (not always) if you just watch parents of any creed interacting with their dc, you can get a general sense for whether they are practicing fear-based parenting or not. And although you can't trust TV, and the Duggar special may have been edited to make them look more serene than they really are, I did not get the sense that that household runs on fear. So whereas they may believe in spanking and use the Gothard curriculum, it is just my gut feeling that there are not many spankings (if any) actually handed out.

I could be totally wrong, of course. Just speculation on my part.


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## Brigianna

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Nora'sMama*
Ha ha, 'compliant' is not how I would describe my spunky DD...







She knows what she wants even at 1 year old! She often plays happily by herself (when she is inspired to do so) in an area little larger than a blanket, but only when *she* wants to...if I set her down near her favorite toys b/c I need to do something, but she would rather be doing something else, I can't really imagine WHAT I could do to convince her to play where I want her to play!! She also can stiffen her body so that if she decides she doesn't want to get in the car seat, she is NOT getting in. I have to cajole her, distract her, use all manner of tricks to get her in the seat sometimes - just telling her that she has to get in means nothing to her whatsoever! My mom says I was the same as a baby, very strong-willed, and I never really changed as a child/adult. I wonder what a blanket-trainer would do with such a baby - would they try to break the child's will? That just seems unimaginable, and yet I know it must happen.









That would be disturbing. I would never try to break a child's will, least of all over a silly thing like blanket-training. But of course there are people who would and as I understand it they would be quite good at it...

Quote:

_I hear you on that. But I have a lot of relatives who are fundamentalist Christians and while some of them fit the negative stereotypes to a T, one of my cousins is very AP and an extremely compassionate, gentle mother. She is also VERY religious and VERY "fundamentalist", not a "liberal Christian" at all. So perhaps because of my personal experience with fundamentalist Christians and their varying styles of parenting, I don't assume that a family is parenting a certain way just because they are religious. Honestly, I have found that *most of the time* (not always) if you just watch parents of any creed interacting with their dc, you can get a general sense for whether they are practicing fear-based parenting or not. And although you can't trust TV, and the Duggar special may have been edited to make them look more serene than they really are, I did not get the sense that that household runs on fear. So whereas they may believe in spanking and use the Gothard curriculum, it is just my gut feeling that there are not many spankings (if any) actually handed out.

I could be totally wrong, of course. Just speculation on my part._
I agree that you can often tell by the interactions. I don't have enough of a sense about these people to tell, but I just thought that a more secular family would have been given more the benefit of the doubt. The corporate media tends to sensationalize anything different or non-mainstream. But I also think that there is this anti-child subculture, and part of what makes them so dangerous is how well they hide it. If you go to the websites of No Greater Joy or Focus on the Family and read what they have to say about children and family interactions, they really don't sound much different from ap sites. You have to seek out the stuff about beating babies into submission and whatnot.

So anyway, I don't think we have enough information about these people to really say what their family is like.

And now I am off to look up Gothard college...


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## Nora'sMama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Brigianna*
If you go to the websites of No Greater Joy or Focus on the Family and read what they have to say about children and family interactions, they really don't sound much different from ap sites. You have to seek out the stuff about beating babies into submission and whatnot.

You are so right about this. Your post made me remember a conversation I had with a co-worker when I was pregnant...she was saying how much she loves Focus on the Family. To her, it was gentle and sensible advice from a Christian perspective. She had no idea about what's his name's (the FOTF director, it's eluding me) political activities or any of the more sinister advice that, as you have reminded me, is not the first thing you see when you visit their website, but is rather insidiously snuck in among the more sensible-sounding advice.


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## Treasuremapper

That's the sickest, sickest thing I have ever heard of in my life in terms of childrearing. What on earth is wrong with these people?

I agree about the nice appearance of Focus on the Family. I used to have to drive all over rural Texas for my job, and I listened to lots of Christian talk shows (all I had was broadcast radio and miles and miles of Texas alone in the car -- ) and FOF sounded so nice and normal.


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## Treasuremapper

found it above


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## Brigianna

Okay, Gothard's college is called Verity, where you can earn a bachelor's degree in 21 months in a "Christian environment." I don't speak evangelical, so I'm not sure exactly what they teach, but it has to do with "discipleship and ministry." He also operates the Oak Brook College of Law and Government Policy, which is non-accredited and "Christian-based." This is in addition to his homeschool curriculum. He's also affiliated with that paramilitary organization we discussed here recently.

I also learned that the CharacterFirst program which is taught in public schools is Gothard-based, and that apparently some other Christian fundamentalists have a problem with that, because it was endorsed by Planned Parenthood, an unnamed Democratic senator, and the "World Bank people." Apparently he's also controversial for relying on psychology in his programs.

Maybe someone more familiar with evangelical jargon could explain some of this stuff...


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## Brigianna

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Nora'sMama*
You are so right about this. Your post made me remember a conversation I had with a co-worker when I was pregnant...she was saying how much she loves Focus on the Family. To her, it was gentle and sensible advice from a Christian perspective. She had no idea about what's his name's (the FOTF director, it's eluding me) political activities or any of the more sinister advice that, as you have reminded me, is not the first thing you see when you visit their website, but is rather insidiously snuck in among the more sensible-sounding advice.

That would be James Dobson, who is currently employed as a White House policy advisor (yes, our tax dollars are paying Dobson's salary). He's gotten so much publicity lately that I think maybe more people are familiar with his political ideas then his child-rearing ones (although IMO they're related). And yes, a huge part of his appeal in both areas is how reasonable he sounds.


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## Treasuremapper

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Brigianna*
That would be James Dobson, who is currently employed as a White House policy advisor (yes, our tax dollars are paying Dobson's salary).

























Are you serious?


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## bamamom

i listen to james dobson, but had no idea he is a white house policy advisor......


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## Brigianna

Okay, I looked up Dobson's role as policy advisor, and apparently I was wrong about that; he is not currently on the public payroll. He is however brought in as a "consultant." So he isn't receiving tax dollars, but he is still influencing laws and policies...

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