# screaming girls: why?



## Fay (Sep 21, 2005)

Why do girls scream in public places? I'm talking about bloodcurdling screams, not the occasional excited shrieks. I'm talking about girls ages 3-20 screaming bloody murder for no apparent reason.

This is a major pet peeve of mine. I have an autistic son who is sensitive to noise, and my younger son becomes distressed when he hears other children crying & screaming. I have asked girls to stop screaming in indoor playgrounds, and to stop screaming directly into my son's face. When I say that it is rude to scream into another person's face, the girls always seem stunned, as if this had never occurred to them! This weekend, I asked a teenage girl why she was screaming at an indoor pool, and she said, "I don't know." She was not hurt or in danger. I said, "You are not the only person in this room. I would appreciate it if you would stop scaring my children like that." She and her friends immediately left in shock.

I have never seen boys exhibit this behavior in public. Why, oh why, do girls scream like this???

Part of my problem with this behavior is that I work very, very hard to teach my older son appropriate social skills, and it is upsetting to see healthy, intelligent, normally developing children being permitted to frighten others. Doesn't anyone read the story about "the boy who cried wolf" anymore?


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## Fay (Sep 21, 2005)

Bump!


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## NiteNicole (May 19, 2003)

In my experience, girls scream and squeal and shriek when they play. A lot of girls also have a high pitched giggle laugh. It's what they do. Maybe not all girls, but when they get excited in groups, you can usually expect it. My daughter is very polite but she can get LOUD when she's excited. I would try to tone it down in church but...a pool? A playground? Aren't those normally the places you take kids so they can let it all out and be kids?

Maybe you could try not to think of it as them doing it to scare your child, that's just a side effect. While some people might be annoyed by the squealing and shrieking, most of us write it off as kids being loud in a play area. I think most kids would be stunned if you told them to keep it down on a playground. It's a playground. It's for play. Play is loud.

I'm not saying you shouldn't or can't ask girls to keep it down or at least keep it in another area because of your situation, but I would be stunned, as my daughter would be, if someone told her to keep it down in a pool or playground. I just don't think it's all that socially inappropriate for girls or any children to get loud when they play in play spaces.


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## camracrazy (May 27, 2006)

We used to have two neighbor boys that would scream constantly. The first few times the neighbors ran out on their porches to see what was wrong. After that, everyone ignored it (to the extent that no one ran outside anymore, you really can't ignore that kind of screaming). The boys (about 4 & 5 when they first moved in) were allowed to roam the neighborhood by themselves and I often thought that if something actually did happen to them, no one would give their screaming a second thought.

I have no idea why they do it.


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

This is something that took me a while to get used to, as well. Kids being loud (girls' higher pitched voices) can really jar my nerves.

But NiteNicole has it right. You do need to change your perspective, they're not screaming and making noise to scare your son. It has nothing to do with your son. Though I'm pretty sure that at around age 12 the volume goes up just to make sure _everyone_ around them can hear and they can be the center of attention. It's their way of rough-housing and letting off steam.

I'm sorry, I don't have a helpful solution. But I have noticed the same thing, and it does bother me.


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

My good friend's middle son screams/shrieks during play a lot, and needs lots of reminders to keep his voice down. It's getting better as he gets older. It can be ear-splitting, but since I know his parents are working on it the best they can, it doesn't really bother me for now.


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## River's mum (Apr 22, 2009)

I have a seven month old dd and detest that type of screaming/shrieking. I absolutely agree with pp regarding loudness and play areas, but I don't see the point in screaming. It hurts everybody's ears. There is no need for shrillness.


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## chfriend (Aug 29, 2002)

I have a kid that's noise sensitive as well. I have spent a lot of time and effort helping her develop the skills to cope with it.

I haven't noticed a gender difference in making loud noises while playing...but I have noticed that moms of boys often feel very entitled to criticize the behavior of girls.

My guess is that women feel entitled to define what "appropriate" behavior of women-to-be should be, but not as entitled to define what "appropriate" behavior of men-to-be should be.

When my kids were making loud noises while playing outside and other women sought to make them act more ladylike, I found a quick "Thanks for using your outside voice outside." worked to let everyone know that making noise while playing is appropriate outside.


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## mommy2abigail (Aug 20, 2005)

chfriend....what an astute observation! It explains my MIL...she had two boys.


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## LavenderMae (Sep 20, 2002)

In my experience both boys and girls get loud when they are playing and excited. I have a loud girl and two loud boys (my 2.5 yr old son is happy shrieking as I type







) fwiw. I think it's inappropriate to tell children how to play (unless there is danger) in designated play areas or parks. I do not exactly love the screaming etc but I think it's rude to tell children they can't be loud when they are playing as long as it's an appropriate place (not a library, church etc) and not purposefully in another's ears or face. Kids need to be allowed to be kids somewhere.


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## Daphneduck (Jan 22, 2009)

They do it because they are kids, and kids are noisy. My DD, almost three, has started doing this and it drives me crazy. I have a noise sensitivity, too. It is sometimes physically painful to hear those shrieks. So, I really do sympathize with your son's discomfort and your irritation, but I do think that it's normal and that it's your perspective that needs to change. In a play area, kids are going to be loud, and rightly so.


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## Alyantavid (Sep 10, 2004)

I've seen boys do the same thing. My 9 year old nephew has the shrillest squeal ever. It is annoying, but its a playground. I might say something if it was the library or somewhere.

Quote:

But NiteNicole has it right. You do need to change your perspective, they're not screaming and making noise to scare your son. It has nothing to do with your son.
Yep.


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chfriend* 
I haven't noticed a gender difference in making loud noises while playing._..but I have noticed that moms of boys often feel very entitled to criticize the behavior of girls._

My guess is that women feel entitled to define what "appropriate" behavior of women-to-be should be, but not as entitled to define what "appropriate" behavior of men-to-be should be.

How about moms of boys _and_ girls? I have a 14 y.o. girl and a 10 y.o. boy. I think moms, women in general, have opinions about how people, including boys and girls, should behave.

I have noticed some vocal gender differences. Girls laugh a lot more than boys do.


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## chfriend (Aug 29, 2002)

JM...Here's my observation for what's it's worth. If the mom has b/g kids that are tempermentally inclined to act according to gender expectations, the mom judges girls if they are not prissy/do not defer to boys on the playground and the boys if they are prissy/defer to girls on the playground.

If they got girls that are active climbers and explorers or boys that like to do more "fine motor skill" kinds of activities, they are more likely to not try to tell my dds how to act or make stinky comments to me.

Not a scientific study or anything....just lots and lots of park time.

On the shrieking...when my not as noise sensitive kid was going through a more noise sensitive phase, she screamed more. Funny, huh?


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

I'm the mother of a girl who isn't a screamer.

But, I agree. Girls scream. It's annoying, and I'd like them to knock it off, because it isn't cute, it isn't cool. It's painful and irritating. Especially in an indoor pool. That must have been earslplitting. There is nothing wrong with pointing out that other people don't really want to hear them scream, when it's not a life or death situation.


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## Twocoolboys (Mar 10, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chfriend* 
On the shrieking...when my not as noise sensitive kid was going through a more noise sensitive phase, she screamed more. Funny, huh?

My middle ds has sensory issues. One of the things he has trouble with is noise, including loud noises. But, he is also my screamer. He can scream so loud my eardrums vibrate. Thankfully, he is growing out of it, although it's a slow process!


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## 1growingsprout (Nov 14, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nextcommercial* 
I'm the mother of a girl who isn't a screamer.

But, I agree. Girls scream. It's annoying, and I'd like them to knock it off, because it isn't cute, it isn't cool. It's painful and irritating. Especially in an indoor pool. That must have been earslplitting. There is nothing wrong with pointing out that other people don't really want to hear them scream, when it's not a life or death situation.

ITA.... i have 6 girls... 2 boys... laughing, giggling and having a good time is all ok but that high pitched shreil is NOT ok and the handful of times my 6 yr old has tried it we left immediatley. When other kids scream, espically at the mcd's playland its overwhelming for everyone there. Several times I have complained to mgnt about it, usually they will go over and tell the kids/parents to keep it down.


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## chfriend (Aug 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Twocoolboys* 
My middle ds has sensory issues. One of the things he has trouble with is noise, including loud noises. But, he is also my screamer. He can scream so loud my eardrums vibrate. Thankfully, he is growing out of it, although it's a slow process!









Mine outgrew it too, thank goodness. But we all had earplugs for the car at one point!!


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

Gonna put on my flame-proof suit for this one...

I have to be completely honest, this really, really pi$$es me off. I cannot stand when kids shriek that ear piercing, blood curdling scream while playing - both boys and girls do it. And I HATE it. It's so inconsiderate to others trying to play or enjoy themselves outside.

Loud, I'm fine with. Laughing, whooping, hollering, shouting. Fine. Kids are kids, and kids get excited and loud when playing. NO problem with that, at all. I promise.

But SHRIEKING at the top of your lungs, like a horror movie scream? UN-COOL. I don't care what gender you are, or if it's what "everyone does", it is NOT cool in my book. It's irritating, distracting, and disturbing to those around you, and my kids know if they do it, we're either leaving the playground or going inside.

Yes, I'm a opinionated hard ass about this. It's one of my super hot buttons. I'll freely admit it. I don't think kids who shriek like this, or parents who don't address it are "bad" or anything, I just really, REALLY can't take it, and can't make it OK just because they're kids or girls with higher pitched voices or whatever. I just can't take screamers. And I live 3 doors down from a house FULL of screamers. Seriously, they have 8 kids, and every single one of them screams at the top of their lungs the whole time they're outside playing, all summer. Sigh. I just find it really inconsiderate to others to be so disturbing. You can play and be loud and rambunctious and have fun without piercing someone's eardrum or have them worrying that you broke a bone or something.

Obviously kids with sensory issues can't really help themselves, but I'm not talking abotu that, I'm talking about kids without sensory issues.


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## camracrazy (May 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *The4OfUs* 
Gonna put on my flame-proof suit for this one...

I have to be completely honest, this really, really pi$$es me off. I cannot stand when kids shriek that ear piercing, blood curdling scream while playing - both boys and girls do it. And I HATE it. It's so inconsiderate to others trying to play or enjoy themselves outside.

Loud, I'm fine with. Laughing, whooping, hollering, shouting. Fine. Kids are kids, and kids get excited and loud when playing. NO problem with that, at all. I promise.

But SHRIEKING at the top of your lungs, like a horror movie scream? UN-COOL. I don't care what gender you are, or if it's what "everyone does", it is NOT cool in my book. It's irritating, distracting, and disturbing to those around you, and my kids know if they do it, we're either leaving the playground or going inside.

Yes, I'm a opinionated hard ass about this. It's one of my super hot buttons. I'll freely admit it. I don't think kids who shriek like this, or parents who don't address it are "bad" or anything, I just really, REALLY can't take it, and can't make it OK just because they're kids or girls with higher pitched voices or whatever. I just can't take screamers. And I live 3 doors down from a house FULL of screamers. Seriously, they have 8 kids, and every single one of them screams at the top of their lungs the whole time they're outside playing, all summer. Sigh. I just find it really inconsiderate to others to be so disturbing. You can play and be loud and rambunctious and have fun without piercing someone's eardrum or have them worrying that you broke a bone or something.

Obviously kids with sensory issues can't really help themselves, but I'm not talking abotu that, I'm talking about kids without sensory issues.









:

Playful hollering, fine. Earsplitting, constant shrieking like your leg was just cut off with a chainsaw, not good!







:


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## linz2491 (Sep 11, 2007)

I don't know why dd is only 16 months old. though my boys can shriek pretty loud too.
I HATED it when I was a kid and all the other girls would run around screaming. I thought it was the stupidest thing ever. Obviously I was not a screamer. i don't remember any of my sisters screaming either.


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## tjjazzy (Jan 18, 2007)

haha maybe they all have moms like me and they need to *get it out* once they're outdoors! i have a rule in my house that if my son (it'll apply to the LO too when he's older) needs to holler, scream, or yell, he has to go in the playroom!








who knows why they do it? i live near a house with a trampoline. ALL SUMMER LONG during daylight hours, they (mostly girls) jump on it and scream and play music. at first i was annoyed but then i realized they're just having fun and i'd love to be young and free and careless like that too. now i just laugh at them. they're not nearly as bad as some of the adults on the street (like the a-hole down the street who is constantly yelling at the dog, the kids, whoever...)
strangely enough, i find boys to be loud (and i have 2 of them--no girls) and girls to be refreshingly quiet when i'm around them. (just thought of that b/c someone commented that moms of boys seem to be critical of girls. i actually favour girls even though i have sons. obviously, i favour my boys first but over anyone else's kids, i favour girls and immediately like girls over boys. odd? i dunno, but true.)


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## darcytrue (Jan 23, 2009)

My DD is a very loud girl. She squeals like that but she also talks loudly and that can be bothersome when I don't feel well. I'm not sure why. I'm a very quiet person and so is my son. My DH is the other loud one in the family so I guess she gets it from him. And, fwiw, I've heard boys that can scream/squeal louder than any girl can.







It's not always the girls.


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## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

Screaming is a great way to release emotions. Shrieking is hysterically funny to the shrieker and the shriek-ees.

My girls can do screaming and shrieking with the best of them and for the most part I don't mind because if you can't do this when you are a kid when can you do it?

Controlling children's behaviour 24/7 is one of the reasons that lots of kids have issues IMVHO. It seeems that society in general considers children to be inconsiderate if they aren't behaving like mini-adults and the actual adults have forgotten how good it is to shriek with laughter or PLAY at ALL if it isn't sport related.

School educated children spend all day at school being told to sit still and be quiet then we wonder why they feel the need to do anything other than this when they are free to do so?

I wish I had the balls to stand in the middle of the road and screech at the top of my lungs. If I did that every now and then I might feel less antsy in myself sometimes.

My pet peeve, sorry.


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## Asher (Aug 21, 2004)

It probably depends a lot on the child(ren). My girls are 4 and 7 and do not do this in public or at home for that matter. It wouldn't go over real well if they did.


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## darcytrue (Jan 23, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *journeymom* 
How about moms of boys _and_ girls? I have a 14 y.o. girl and a 10 y.o. boy. I think moms, women in general, have opinions about how people, including boys and girls, should behave.

yep.


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## Princess ConsuelaB (Apr 11, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *orangefoot* 
Screaming is a great way to release emotions. Shrieking is hysterically funny to the shrieker and the shriek-ees.

My girls can do screaming and shrieking with the best of them and for the most part I don't mind because if you can't do this when you are a kid when can you do it?

Controlling children's behaviour 24/7 is one of the reasons that lots of kids have issues IMVHO. It seeems that society in general considers children to be inconsiderate if they aren't behaving like mini-adults and the actual adults have forgotten how good it is to shriek with laughter or PLAY at ALL if it isn't sport related.

School educated children spend all day at school being told to sit still and be quiet then we wonder why they feel the need to do anything other than this when they are free to do so?

I wish I had the balls to stand in the middle of the road and screech at the top of my lungs. If I did that every now and then I might feel less antsy in myself sometimes.

My pet peeve, sorry.









:

Though as someone who can be sound sensitive I do feel ya. There are times to adapt however.


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## beanma (Jan 6, 2002)

Fay, I think shrieking outside is fine, but the instances you mentioned were all inside and I might would be saying something to those girls, too, especially if they screamed in my kids' faces. Screaming right in someone's face is never cool.

That said, indoor play areas are loud. They are louder than outdoor play areas because the sound bounces off the walls and reverberates. Maybe they're not such a great place for the sound sensitive. I know I avoid the play area at our local mall (chfriend, you know the one, SP) because it's just crazy. I can handle it for about 10 minutes and then my head is ready to explode. The kids are crazy and bouncing around like pinball balls and creaming their fool heads off.. AAAAAAIIIIGGGGGHHHH! It's enough to make me want to scream. I would definitely try to avoid taking a sound sensitive child to a place like that.

In general I don't mind screaming if it's outside and I can get away from it. My kids' jabbering and blabbering on in a normal tone of voice gets to me after awhile, though, as I am fairly noise sensitive myself.

I think kids just think shrieking is fun. If they were doing it inside I would probably remind them that though we're at a play area we are inside so please don't scream so loud.

I remember my niece and little cousin screaming at the beach on year as they rode in the waves on a raft. They were probably about 7 and 9 and were shrieking just as shrilly and loudly as they possibly could for the sheer joy of it. I was amazed (pre kids), but since it was outside at the beach - well, what better place to see how loud you could shriek?!


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## Krisis (May 29, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *linz2491* 
I HATED it when I was a kid and all the other girls would run around screaming. I thought it was the stupidest thing ever. Obviously I was not a screamer. i don't remember any of my sisters screaming either.

Ugh, I hated it when I was a kid too. I never understood why girls would squeal/scream/shriek.

I totally agree with The4ofUs. I hate hate hate HATE screaming. I don't exactly love loud either, but I'm okay with it in general. But just all out screaming at the top of your lungs? No.

DS does it sometimes, and it drives me crazy. If he does it long enough I have to put him in his room because it kills me. I am extremely noise sensitive and I ruptured my ear drum when I was pregnant and ever since then loud, high pitched noises make my blood curdle even more than it did before the ear drum rupture.


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *orangefoot* 
Controlling children's behaviour 24/7 is one of the reasons that lots of kids have issues IMVHO. It seeems that society in general considers children to be inconsiderate if they aren't behaving like mini-adults and the actual adults have forgotten how good it is to shriek with laughter or PLAY at ALL if it isn't sport related.

I just can't equate "no blood curdling screams" with "controlling children 24/7". My kids lelt loose with the best of them and get loud and whoop and holler, but not the ear piercing, air raid siren screams that make others cringe or stop what they're doing because you're SO LOUD. Some things are just inconsiderate no matter what age you are - and really, there's a difference between laughter that ends with a happy shriek and a girl running around in circles for 30 seconds in one long, loud, high pitched, ear piercing scream (or a group of kids of either gender) - and I'v eheard that 30-second, even longer, variety emitted from countless kids in my area. And I just don't get it. I can see a squeal, a hoot, loud laughter - but why a long, drawn out, piercing scream? Oof. I have no interest in my kids behaving like mini adults...heck, I'm a complete goofball most of the time and act like a kid, running, skipping, dancing, singing in public with them, playing goofy games, making faces, etc. But screaming so it sounds like I'm being injured? I just can't get behind that.

Just like you redirect and correct a small child from hitting or aggressing towards someone physically, assaulting their ears/senses with high pitched, pained sounding screaming is just something that should be redirected and given alternatives. There are lots of ways to let go and have fun between "sit down and shut up" and "scream like you're being stabbed in the eye".

And for what it's worth, my daughter is very LOUD, and is a shrieker, and has gone through phases when we had to do a lot of redirecting from her shrieks. I don't berate her for it, or punish her harshly...it's just like me redirecting her when she was going through a biting phase...it may be developmentally normal, but developmentally normal does not necessarily equal socially acceptable. And again, I'm not asking them to sit still and twiddle their thumbs, just to not be irritatingly loud and disruptive.


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## KarlaC (Mar 20, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *The4OfUs* 
Gonna put on my flame-proof suit for this one...

I have to be completely honest, this really, really pi$$es me off. I cannot stand when kids shriek that ear piercing, blood curdling scream while playing - both boys and girls do it. And I HATE it. It's so inconsiderate to others trying to play or enjoy themselves outside.

Loud, I'm fine with. Laughing, whooping, hollering, shouting. Fine. Kids are kids, and kids get excited and loud when playing. NO problem with that, at all. I promise.

But SHRIEKING at the top of your lungs, like a horror movie scream? UN-COOL. I don't care what gender you are, or if it's what "everyone does", it is NOT cool in my book. It's irritating, distracting, and disturbing to those around you, and my kids know if they do it, we're either leaving the playground or going inside.

Yes, I'm a opinionated hard ass about this. It's one of my super hot buttons. I'll freely admit it. I don't think kids who shriek like this, or parents who don't address it are "bad" or anything, I just really, REALLY can't take it, and can't make it OK just because they're kids or girls with higher pitched voices or whatever. I just can't take screamers. And I live 3 doors down from a house FULL of screamers. Seriously, they have 8 kids, and every single one of them screams at the top of their lungs the whole time they're outside playing, all summer. Sigh. I just find it really inconsiderate to others to be so disturbing. *You can play and be loud and rambunctious and have fun without piercing someone's eardrum or have them worrying that you broke a bone or something.*

Obviously kids with sensory issues can't really help themselves, but I'm not talking abotu that, I'm talking about kids without sensory issues.









: I've always taught my girls that if they're not bleeding, seriously injured, about to be kidnapped or need to go to the hospital there's no reason for that sort of constant screeching. If they did it anyway we would leave where ever we were.


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## Cinder (Feb 4, 2003)

I have absolutely no idea, but I have a 6 year old daughter who screeches and screams all the time (and trust me, we correct her on it EVERY SINGLE TIME)..

I honestly don't think DD even realizes she is screaming/screeching until it is pointed out to her...she definitely is not doing it to be rude or mean. I know where you are coming from, I have an autistic son (who used to have meltdowns at the sound of another kid crying, serious have to drop whatever we are doing and leave meltdowns, so basically, we couldn't go anywhere, cause it's not like you can ban crying from the mall/museum/park...even newborn crying would do it...), but trust me, I've been trying to change this behaviour in dd for years now...so I'm betting most other girls are like her, it's just natural for them to scream like that...doesn't mean I'm going to stop correcting her, cause one day she might get it, but I honestly think it is not a purposeful behaviour...


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## Cinder (Feb 4, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KarlaC* 







: I've always taught my girls that if they're not bleeding, seriously injured, about to be kidnapped or need to go to the hospital there's no reason for that sort of constant screeching. If they did it anyway we would leave where ever we were.

That is EXACTLY what I say, plus, we've had her write notes apologizing for screaming in restaurants/music class/whatever and why it's wrong to scream, we've made her miss the end of dance class for screaming (but she had to watch her brother finish the class, cause I'm not punishing him too!), made her sit by us at the park while her brothers play, none of it has done any good at all, it hasn't even reduced the amount of screaming.


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## Amylcd (Jun 16, 2005)

I have three daughters, so I have been around many girls in playdate settings and have never seen what you have described.


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## jjawm (Jun 17, 2007)

At an outdoor waterpark today, there were 3 girls who shrieked and screamed the entire time. It was horrible, ear-piercing noise. We were outdoors, though, and although I would have loved it if they would have tuned it down or at least not done it right near my face, I simply put up with it. I think I will comment again if kids do scream literally in my face like one girl did.


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## Viola (Feb 1, 2002)

My children both love to scream, but it's something I dislike and get angry with when they do it near me, so they know now they pretty much have to ask me first if I am nearby, and it has to be in the right place. I've heard children in my younger daughter's preschool screaming at times, and the teachers put a stop to it quickly. Children in general speak a lot more loudly than they really "need" to at times, and I find myself constantly having to remind them to use a quieter voice in some situations. They are familiar with the story of the Boy Who Cried Wolf, but it's like anything else, it can take a lot of reminding some times.

To the OP--I wish you'd rephrase your first post instead of stating this as a girl only problem. I find that expecting behavior to correspond to gender means you can see what you want to see. Sure, you think you've only heard girls screaming, and you assume they are healthy, intelligent, normally developing children, but you can't really state these as facts.


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## Fay (Sep 21, 2005)

Thank you for your responses. As I said, I do not have a problem with excited shrieks or natural release of energy. My problem is with aggressive, persistent screaming in indoor environments. I am surprised that some respondents did not think that running up to a child and screaming in his face was aggressive behavior or that it should not be taken personally. I consider that bullying. I do not tolerate bullying by girls or boys, and in my limited experience, girls tend to use their voices to bully while boys use different methods. (And yes, I have stopped boys at the indoor playground and asked them to be gentler around small children. I also have friends with boys who are too rough around my toddler, who don't get invited to my house anymore.)

I do believe that children should be taught how their behavior affects other people. This is a basic social skill related to empathy. Screaming in public affects everyone in the vicinity. When the teenage girl was screaming in the indoor pool, her friends and everyone else moved away from her. Soon she was alone in the small pool. I only approached her after several screams, when it became apparent that no one else was going to say anything. I always ask why the person is screaming, because I want to offer help if there is a problem.

This discussion has me thinking about a lot of different things, like the Kitty Genovese case that we discussed in psychology class in college, the use of voice as power and what the definition of bullying is. I thank you for giving me food for thought.


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## kblackstone444 (Jun 17, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Fay* 
Why do girls scream in public places? I'm talking about bloodcurdling screams, not the occasional excited shrieks. I'm talking about girls ages 3-20 screaming bloody murder for no apparent reason.

This is a major pet peeve of mine. I have an autistic son who is sensitive to noise, and my younger son becomes distressed when he hears other children crying & screaming. I have asked girls to stop screaming in indoor playgrounds, and to stop screaming directly into my son's face. When I say that it is rude to scream into another person's face, the girls always seem stunned, as if this had never occurred to them! This weekend, I asked a teenage girl why she was screaming at an indoor pool, and she said, "I don't know." She was not hurt or in danger. I said, "You are not the only person in this room. I would appreciate it if you would stop scaring my children like that." She and her friends immediately left in shock.

I have never seen boys exhibit this behavior in public. Why, oh why, do girls scream like this???

Part of my problem with this behavior is that I work very, very hard to teach my older son appropriate social skills, and it is upsetting to see healthy, intelligent, normally developing children being permitted to frighten others. Doesn't anyone read the story about "the boy who cried wolf" anymore?

I've wondered this for years! It drives me CRAZY!!!!!


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## Viola (Feb 1, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Fay* 
Screaming in public affects everyone in the vicinity. When the teenage girl was screaming in the indoor pool, her friends and everyone else moved away from her. Soon she was alone in the small pool. I only approached her after several screams, when it became apparent that no one else was going to say anything. I always ask why the person is screaming, because I want to offer help if there is a problem.

I think this is fine. I tend to feel that actions have consequences, and you can't scream in a public place, or do other disruptive or annoying things, without getting some negative attention or comments made. I think you handled it well.


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## ~PurityLake~ (Jul 31, 2005)

I'm noise sensitive and I can't stand excessively loud noises. That goes for screeching children, police sirens, passing vehicles with music thumping so hard it shakes my walls.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chfriend* 
I have a kid that's noise sensitive as well. I have spent a lot of time and effort helping her develop the skills to cope with it.

My oldest daughter is also noise sensitive. What do you do to help your daughter cope? I could use some tips. Abigail typically covers hers ears and yells at Sophia 'you're being too loud, please be quiet!'

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chfriend* 
I haven't noticed a gender difference in making loud noises while playing...

Me neither. I think gender is irrelevant on this discussion.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chfriend* 
My guess is that women feel entitled to define what "appropriate" behavior of women-to-be should be, but not as entitled to define what "appropriate" behavior of men-to-be should be.

When my kids were making loud noises while playing outside and other women sought to make them act more ladylike, I found a quick "Thanks for using your outside voice outside." worked to let everyone know that making noise while playing is appropriate outside.

I don't think it's women. I just think there are some people who still want girls to be quiet little ladies with no power in this society and encourage boys to 'be boys', i.e. inconsiderate, self-centered, loud, physically aggressive terrors. I just hate those gender stereotypes.







: But they do exist and I don't like it one little bit.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *The4OfUs* 
Gonna put on my flame-proof suit for this one...

I have to be completely honest, this really, really pi$$es me off. I cannot stand when kids shriek that ear piercing, blood curdling scream while playing - both boys and girls do it. And I HATE it. It's so inconsiderate to others trying to play or enjoy themselves outside.

Loud, I'm fine with. Laughing, whooping, hollering, shouting. Fine. Kids are kids, and kids get excited and loud when playing. NO problem with that, at all. I promise.

But SHRIEKING at the top of your lungs, like a horror movie scream? UN-COOL. I don't care what gender you are, or if it's what "everyone does", it is NOT cool in my book. It's irritating, distracting, and disturbing to those around you, and my kids know if they do it, we're either leaving the playground or going inside.

...... You can play and be loud and rambunctious and have fun without piercing someone's eardrum or have them worrying that you broke a bone or something.

I agree.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *camracrazy* 







:

Playful hollering, fine. Earsplitting, constant shrieking like your leg was just cut off with a chainsaw, not good!







:

Yup.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *beanma* 
Fay, I think shrieking outside is fine, but the instances you mentioned were all inside and I might would be saying something to those girls, too, especially if they screamed in my kids' faces. Screaming right in someone's face is never cool.

Screaming *in* someone's face is beyond rude. I might even wonder if the offending child had social issues or was over hyped up on something.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *beanma* 
That said, indoor play areas are loud. They are louder than outdoor play areas because the sound bounces off the walls and reverberates. In general I don't mind screaming if it's outside and I can get away from it.

That is so true. Sophia is a terrible screamer/squeeler/screecher (she is still only 2 and we're working on getting her to not do that when she's hyper and excited














. In our home, it makes me absolutely crazy!







At the park, I can barely hear her and think she just has the tiniest voice ever. How is that even possible? The difference between indoor voices and outdoor voices is astonishing in Sophia's case.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *beanma* 
My kids' jabbering and blabbering on in a normal tone of voice gets to me after awhile, though, as I am fairly noise sensitive myself.

Yes, Abigail does this on occassion, more often than I'd like, and inside my head I'm screaming 'shut up!!! already, you're just saying the same dang thing one hundren trillion times! argh'


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## honeybee (Mar 12, 2004)

My mom always taught us that shrieking and screaming was only for times when we were actually in trouble and needed help. She's never had any use for shrieking in girls, either. Thus, it's not something I've ever done. I think it's socially ingrained, and is encouraged by a patriarchal society as a way for females to act helpless and hysterical. JMO

There is a difference between loud giggling or laughing and SCREAMING as if your life were in danger, and I think it's the latter the OP is referring to. There is also a difference between hollering and shrieking. My mom is the most unapologetically assertive woman I know, and never expected "ladylike" behavior. But screaming as if you are hurt is not acceptable unless you actually are being attacked. But then you should scream your bloody head off and not worry about being the least bit "nice."

And I apply the same rules to my boys.


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## Breeder (May 28, 2006)

One of my dear friend's son used to shriek randomly while playing. It was high pitched and earsplitting. He doesn't really do it now at five but for a while there, it was pretty rattling.







s


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## Cinder (Feb 4, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *honeybee* 
My mom always taught us that shrieking and screaming was only for times when we were actually in trouble and needed help. She's never had any use for shrieking in girls, either. Thus, it's not something I've ever done. I think it's socially ingrained, and is encouraged by a patriarchal society as a way for females to act helpless and hysterical. JMO

I don't think it's at all societal, Janelle has been doing this since she was 4 months old! She's screech/scream that ear piecingly high make mommy and daddy come running scream then laugh and laugh at herself...repeat said activity for hours, whether we were in the room or not...even if she was already in our arms...


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## HarperRose (Feb 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nextcommercial* 
I'm the mother of a girl who isn't a screamer.

But, I agree. Girls scream. It's annoying, and I'd like them to knock it off, because it isn't cute, it isn't cool. It's painful and irritating. Especially in an indoor pool. That must have been earslplitting. There is nothing wrong with pointing out that other people don't really want to hear them scream, when it's not a life or death situation.

I'm a mom of a 7 yr old girl who does scream. I want to stab my ears. I love her to death, but knock it off!!!

Also, I have a ds w/ Asperger's Syndrome. He and my 7 yr old screamer both have Sensory Processing Disorder. The screaming gets to ds & me and I can't understand why it DOESN'T appear to bother dd.

Yeah, we live in an interesting house.









I think it's great that the OP told the girls that screaming is obnoxious.

My friend has 15 & 16 yr old daughters and while both girls can be boisterous and happy, they don't just scream like what was described at the outset. My God. I think the OP showed great restraint and wonderful phrasing. Very succinct and to the point.


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## FreeRangeMama (Nov 22, 2001)

Quote:

Screaming is a great way to release emotions. Shrieking is hysterically funny to the shrieker and the shriek-ees.

My girls can do screaming and shrieking with the best of them and for the most part I don't mind because if you can't do this when you are a kid when can you do it?

Controlling children's behaviour 24/7 is one of the reasons that lots of kids have issues IMVHO. It seeems that society in general considers children to be inconsiderate if they aren't behaving like mini-adults and the actual adults have forgotten how good it is to shriek with laughter or PLAY at ALL if it isn't sport related.

School educated children spend all day at school being told to sit still and be quiet then we wonder why they feel the need to do anything other than this when they are free to do so?

I wish I had the balls to stand in the middle of the road and screech at the top of my lungs. If I did that every now and then I might feel less antsy in myself sometimes.

My pet peeve, sorry.
Yep!! Good grief, screaming in playgrounds is the equivalent of assault? Wow!

Let them be kids, as long as it isn't like the OP described (in another child's face, or in an aggressive manner), or in an inappropriate place (most indoor places, with the exception of an indoor playground) then I really don't see the big deal. It isn't like this is something they will do forever without correction, I don't see many 30 year olds running around shrieking. If you go to a place that is frequented by children there WILL be noise. Lots of it. And frankly, I would prefer the ear splitting shrieks over the fake machine gun noises, silly electronic toys, parents yelling at, berating, and constantly correcting their children, and any other variety of noises one may hear at a park.

Lumping all screaming into one broad category, or claiming it is a "little girl" problem is a little extreme. They aren't generally being aggressive and it is in NO WAY comparable to bullying, hitting, or any of the other things mentioned in this thread.

I do sympathize with the OP though, when my ASD child was younger he was very noise sensitive. It was next to impossible to take him places. He still "shuts down" to cope with overstimulating environment. We aim to help him cope as we really can't expect the world to cater to him ("um, could you turn off the florescent lights while we shop please......"). Funnily enough, he copes with stressful environments by running around in circles.....SHRIEKING. We are not popular at big family events!


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Fay* 
Thank you for your responses. As I said, I do not have a problem with excited shrieks or natural release of energy. My problem is with aggressive, persistent screaming in indoor environments. *I am surprised that some respondents did not think that running up to a child and screaming in his face was aggressive behavior or that it should not be taken personally. I consider that bullying.* I do not tolerate bullying by girls or boys, and in my limited experience, girls tend to use their voices to bully while boys use different methods. (And yes, I have stopped boys at the indoor playground and asked them to be gentler around small children. I also have friends with boys who are too rough around my toddler, who don't get invited to my house anymore.)

I do believe that children should be taught how their behavior affects other people. This is a basic social skill related to empathy. Screaming in public affects everyone in the vicinity. When the teenage girl was screaming in the indoor pool, her friends and everyone else moved away from her. Soon she was alone in the small pool. I only approached her after several screams, when it became apparent that no one else was going to say anything. I always ask why the person is screaming, because I want to offer help if there is a problem.

This discussion has me thinking about a lot of different things, like the Kitty Genovese case that we discussed in psychology class in college, the use of voice as power and what the definition of bullying is. I thank you for giving me food for thought.

I'm sorry, I missed the part that this teen girl screamed in your son's face.







That's horrible, and just plain bizarre.

I do think there is a big difference between a five year old screaming and a fifteen year old screaming. The one is annoying. But a teen girl screaming at the top of her lungs just for the heck of it? Not on a roller coaster? Not in a crowd at a rock concert? Weird, and yes, I'd tell her to knock it off.


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## accountclosed2 (May 28, 2007)

I hear you. I nannied for a little boy before DD was born. One day when we ended up going home on the 3.30(or 4? Can't remember. Used to try to avoid the school-out buses anyway) bus, and it was full of girls from the private school close to the bus station (easily recognizable from their uniforms). Anyway, the road up to our suburb on the hill is snaking, narrow and winding, and the speed limit is quite fast. At a corner the bus met the bus going into town, and had to break very suddenly. Usually the drivers deal much better with this, but this stop was sharp. Anyway, 3 yo J was next to me, and I held him to me and he was safe. If it wasn't for the blood curdling screams and squeals from the teenage girls behind us. The poor child burst into tears, and it took another year before he was comfortable sitting next to me on the bus again, he insisted on sitting in my lap.


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## chfriend (Aug 29, 2002)

I'm not sure I understand OP's story. Could you clarify, Fay? What were the children shrieking directly into your son's face? How was it that one child was in the pool shrieking alone while her friends did something else?

I feel like I'm missing a piece of the story....How old were the children? How old is your son?


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## MayBaby2007 (Feb 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *orangefoot* 
Screaming is a great way to release emotions. Shrieking is hysterically funny to the shrieker and the shriek-ees.

My girls can do screaming and shrieking with the best of them and for the most part I don't mind because if you can't do this when you are a kid when can you do it?

Controlling children's behaviour 24/7 is one of the reasons that lots of kids have issues IMVHO. It seeems that society in general considers children to be inconsiderate if they aren't behaving like mini-adults and the actual adults have forgotten how good it is to shriek with laughter or PLAY at ALL if it isn't sport related.

School educated children spend all day at school being told to sit still and be quiet then we wonder why they feel the need to do anything other than this when they are free to do so?

I wish I had the balls to stand in the middle of the road and screech at the top of my lungs. If I did that every now and then I might feel less antsy in myself sometimes.

My pet peeve, sorry.









:

My mom says I used to scream LOUD while I was swinging in the backyard. I remember that, too. I used to love it. Nobody ever yelled at me. The cute thing, is that DD enjoys screaming when I swing her too. Must be hereditary







I won't allow dd to scream in an indoor public place but when we're outside, everything is fair game. (Indoors and in someone's face is never acceptable). She can't possiby be more noisy than all the lawn mowers, motercycles going down the road or the cars with music so loud it shakes the house.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *The4OfUs* 
Gonna put on my flame-proof suit for this one...












Do you have a flame proof suit I can buy? Did you make that yourself? I'm sure I would get my money's worth out of it around here


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## lanamommyphd07 (Feb 14, 2007)

well, not to be gender-bashing here but I notice lately now that the pool is open (right outside my back door) that the times I am annoyed by noise are 100% women screeching --- not the kids. Why is it that women/girls/etc, do that high pitched scream? jeez. Maybe we're all put on edge because some evolutionary throwback within says "there is danger. go help"


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## kblackstone444 (Jun 17, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *journeymom* 
I do think there is a big difference between a five year old screaming and a fifteen year old screaming. The one is annoying. But a teen girl screaming at the top of her lungs just for the heck of it? Not on a roller coaster? Not in a crowd at a rock concert? Weird, and yes, I'd tell her to knock it off.

Yeah, that was what I was refering to. Little kids screaming in play? Can be a bit annoying, but unless it's constant, inside or at a public place (grocery store for example), or in someone's face, it's just a kid screaming, girl or boy. The teenage girls screaming and shreaking? Ugh! They should know better, they're not Kindergarteners anymore. I really don't hear teenage boys shreaking or screaming. Sometimes they get loud as in yelling at eachother, but not really the unneccesary screaming for no reason because they're excited or something. I never understood that, even when I was that age.


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## riverscout (Dec 22, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Fay* 
Why do girls scream in public places? I'm talking about bloodcurdling screams, not the occasional excited shrieks. I'm talking about girls ages 3-20 screaming bloody murder for no apparent reason.

I've never noticed that particular behavior. I hear girls and boys shriek, squeal, yell, and scream while playing like in a normal kids playing sort of way, and in general, girls do seem to have a higher pitch. And I know groups of older girls can get giggly and loud and maybe let out a few squeals, but "bloodcurdling" screaming and screaming "bloody murder" for no reason, not so much, especially for older girls up to 20 in public places. I would think someone who did that might have some type of disorder or mental issue or something. I'm having a hard time imagining that this might be a common problem anywhere.


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## Teenytoona (Jun 13, 2005)

Dude all I know is that my DSS can put any shrieky girl to shame.

Also I agree with chfriend about it. Boys are just being boys, and girls are often labeled negatively for the same behaviors.


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## laohaire (Nov 2, 2005)

Yes, I know exactly the screech you mean.

I think it starts somewhere around age 8+. The 18 month olds or whatever that people have said screech, I have no doubt that they do and that it's earsplitting, but it's fundamentally different than a 12 year old girl doing it (and I can assure you I've never heard a 12 year old boy do this particular shriek).

The apex of my annoyance with this skriek was in COLLEGE. I lived in a co-ed dorm, and every now and then you'd hear some girl somewhere screeching like she was being stabbed with an ice pick. It occured to me that I could be being raped or something in the dorm with 100 people on the same floor and nobody would ever call campus police or check on me because the "I'm being stabbed" scream was an everyday occurance there.

I don't know what on earth made these girls think that this screeching was cool or effective. Girls must admire it, I dunno. Does it attract boys? I can't imagine a boy being attracted to a shrieking female; if I were a boy I would think she was a pain in the ass.


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *riverscout* 
I'm having a hard time imagining that this might be a common problem anywhere.

Seriously, *every* time we're at the local school playground and the elementary school kids get out and some come to play before going home, there is an almost constant shrieking squeal coming from groups of kids running around playing games. If it's not one group of kids, it's another, and there are often 4 or 5 groups of kids at any given time after school. It's gotten to be so annoying that we eithe rleave the playground before the after school kids get there, or we go to a different park. It's usually because of kids playing tag (the kid screams the whole time being chased), or playing a capture game, or a fighting game, or something like that. It is SO annoying. And forget about the one big county playground that is all ages from toddlers up...I can't stand to be there on weekends at all. We go to a smaller playground that hardly anyone knows about, it's that bad around here.

I have literally timed the duration of the screams because I can't figure it out. I've determined for me, up to 2-3 seconds of that high pitched squeal/scream is tolerable, and I can deal with in the course of rambunctious regular kid type play. But pretty regularly, kids are screaming at the top of their lungs in that high pitch while running around for up to 30 seconds. Just imagine it; seriously, sit her eat the computer and time it - 30 seconds, envisioning several boys and girls screaming the whole time while running around. I just.don't.get.it. And I just don't see why you would need to have this as a regular part of play. Seriously, it takes away from legitimate screams of a seriously injured child, or something like that - it desensitizes us to legitimate screams for problems. It IS like crying wolf. My kids were in our back yard and playing resuce of some sort, and my son started hollering "help meeeeeeee!" really loudly, and I told him he needed to stop because someone in the neighborhood might think he was really hurt, and that's not cool.

Again - there are LOTS of ways to have fun and be spunky and loud without this kind of screaming. If you've never heard it for the duration of time some of us are talking about, consider yourself lucky.


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## onlyzombiecat (Aug 15, 2004)

My dd is not a public screamer at all.
She is very sensitive to noise so we are aware more than some people of noises.
I haven't noticed a gender difference in the loudness of kids we encounter.


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## NiteNicole (May 19, 2003)

It would seem if that many kids are doing it, it might just be a thing kids do. My goodness, it's a park or a pool or a playground. They're supposed to be loud.


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NiteNicole* 
It would seem if that many kids are doing it, it might just be a thing kids do. My goodness, it's a park or a pool or a playground. They're supposed to be loud.

Again, I'm not talking about loud. I can handle loud. I'm talking about a scream that is one a person would make if they were being assaulted in some way. It's different. If you don't know the difference between regular loud play, shouting, hollering, etc. and what the rest of us are talking about, it's really hard to describe.


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## choli (Jun 20, 2002)

Kids (male or female) + water = screeching IME. It does bug me, but what can you do - it seems to be part of the fun for them if not for the onlookers.


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## ziggyzaazaa (May 20, 2009)

Gosh.....If I see a bug in my close "space" I scream.....sorry Im a girl too. Cant help it, its the way i express myself to calm my self I guess. not really sure where the root of it comes from. Maybe my mom screamed too. Could it be genetic. or learned within members of the family or the cultures? I think there are many reasons people scream. I do repect people and try to not be obnoctious and I hope that Im raising my children to that as well! But being a girl and screaming...I think it is somewhat normal to some extent. I definatelly would scream even more if the bug landed on my skin!


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## vegemamato (Jul 4, 2007)

I have three daughters- and no screamers. I have noticed that the boys where we live tend to be much more vocal, and more likely to 'yell' into someone's face.

I don't think it's a gender thing as much as a _they're kids_ thing. Doesn't bother me.. In fact, aren't they supposed to save those outside voices for, well, outside?

(my girls WILL scream if there's some creepy bug in them though







, as will my nephew)


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## funkymamajoy (May 25, 2008)

My first child is a boy, so I was not prepared for the ear-splitting noise that a little girl can make. My 2-year old girl can make my ears bleed. My boy never did that at 2 (and still doesn't at 4). He can be loud, sure, but not like DD.

I don't care if she does it outside or even in an inside play area (after all, isn't that why we're there?) but it drives me up the wall at the breakfast table.


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## Shera971 (Nov 26, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *The4OfUs* 
Gonna put on my flame-proof suit for this one...

I have to be completely honest, this really, really pi$$es me off. I cannot stand when kids shriek that ear piercing, blood curdling scream while playing - both boys and girls do it. And I HATE it. It's so inconsiderate to others trying to play or enjoy themselves outside.

Loud, I'm fine with. Laughing, whooping, hollering, shouting. Fine. Kids are kids, and kids get excited and loud when playing. NO problem with that, at all. I promise.

Going to duck behind you suit here....

I completely agree. Kids can be noisy, no problem. I like hearing the loud laughs, shouting etc - it means that the kids are having fun. But when a kid shrieks so loud that others stop playing to look at the screamer? Too loud IMO. And not only that, IT HURTS! It hurts my ears and I get a headache. To be honest though, the ear piercing screams outside I can deal with. However in an enclosed space it is completely inconsiderate of the parents to let it continue.


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## Cinder (Feb 4, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shera971* 
However in an enclosed space it is completely inconsiderate of the parents to let it continue.

But, how do you stop it? I posted a couple pages back about all the things we've done to try to stop our DD from doing it...none have worked so far...


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## Tigerchild (Dec 2, 2001)

The most annoying screamers I have known have all been little boys.

Though I will admit that I did take the OP with a grain of salt because of the extreme stereotyping that she seemed to be engaging in, as well as interpreting everything being personal (they're doing it expressly to frighten my child). Plus, if you are already noise sensitive, what is ear shattering to you may not register to people who are deafened by their music blasting headphones/loud car radios/less sensitivity by nature.

I have never seen a child run up to a strange child and scream in their face (which I interpret as meaning literally getting in their face and screaming directly at them) with the exception of some of the developmentally disabled children I have worked with. I have seen screaming as a reaction to personal space invasion (especially by toddlers) as an alternative to punching/pinching, but that was either revenge for something OR the other child (intentionally or not) invading the space of the screamer.

But I see people saying that someone got in their face about something when in fact said person was not in range of average personal space, and if one is already feeling defensive in any given environment, they might expand their personal space beyond the norm. (I know that's certainly what I tend to do.)

If one time some stranger bolted from the crowd and ran up solely to scream in my child's face, to be honest, I would consider that an exceptional circumstance and probably some sort of disability if it's a child over the age of 3. It's not the normal actions of the children I have worked with or ever observed, although I do know lots of squealers/screamers.

If my children are unable to play without inappropriately shrieking, or if they are intentionally attacking someone, we leave. Generally it only takes one time and they respond well to a reminder about voices. If I can't handle the noise level, then we leave too. Inconvenient, and occasionally unfair, but frankly I only have control over me. So we just don't do indoor playgrounds or pools that often, which kind of sucks because in our weather outdoor pools are extremely short season and in short supply.

I think indoor playplaces are extremely loud. I am mildly noise sensitive, and simply can't do them when there are a lot of kids around. Truly outside places, with no echo, are less of a problem depending on how close the screamers are. I detest indoor pools even when no one is screaming because of the echoes and sounds of splashing and shouting that I can't escape from.

Let's face it, some people are weird. Unless every time the OP and her son go somewhere a strange kid comes out of the woodwork to get in his face and scream, I would assume that incident was the exception, and not indicative of the motivations or personal behavior of noisy kids, KWIM? You go to enough activities, sooner or later you are bound to run into a child or two or three who are going to knock you for a loop as to their behavior.


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## Shera971 (Nov 26, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cinder* 
But, how do you stop it? I posted a couple pages back about all the things we've done to try to stop our DD from doing it...none have worked so far...

I'm not sure - it is a tough situation. (I haven't read your post and I will go back after I post this.) If my DS was continually doing that piercing scream I would just remove him from the situation. Something like, when you can use your inside voice we'll come back to "whatever". Or maybe ask your child to sit beside you for a while to re-group. For me it would be the same thing if my DS was hitting or pushing another child - unacceptable. I know that others don't agree but thats how I see it. *shrug*


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## sunnmama (Jul 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cinder* 
But, how do you stop it? I posted a couple pages back about all the things we've done to try to stop our DD from doing it...none have worked so far...

If you remove her when she screams (as your previous posts seem to suggest), then you are not letting it continue. That is really all you can do until she develops the self control to stop herself.

I have a quiet 8 yo girl, and have been exposed to a lot of kids. I've never noticed girls screaming more than boys







:


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## magentamomma (Mar 18, 2004)

Girls voices are higher pitched so its quite easy for them to get too loud and painful. Interesingly the child I am dealing with who uses his voice as a weapon is a BOY.
Outside shreiking is normal. Kids are letting off steam. All the hours spent being good and quiet have to be shaken off somewhere. Occasionally I take a drive in the country so I can scream.
It really isn't your place to approach other peoples children though. Go to the parents if you must, but the quickest way to get an earful from an adult is to discipline a strangers child. You are in a public place. Kids get loud and they get exponentially louder the more of them there are. I am a Daisy leader and I leave every meeting with a headache. Its just the nature of dealing with children.
Some of the PP seem angry at kids for just being kids.


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## HarperRose (Feb 22, 2007)

So I had a Mary Kay party last night. There were 5 little girls, all but one are 7 yrs old. The youngest is 5, I think.

Every last one of them SHRIEKED and SCREAMED.

And every mother told her child/ren to STOP. And every one of us said to one another, "I hate that!"









Incidentally, we all have experience in a school and/or daycare setting, as well.

I thought of this thread.

My ds1 popped in a couple times and he didn't scream at all. He yelled a couple times, though, which made the girls scream. (Everyone laughed.)


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## Shera971 (Nov 26, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *magentamomma* 
Some of the PP seem angry at kids for just being kids.

Hmm, I wouldn't say that I was angry at the kids. Annoyed perhaps yes. But my frustration is with some parents who let it continue. If a child is screaming and I see a parent/care giver trying to re-direct, then I just shrug and think "well, they are trying to curb the behaviour". Its when a child is schreeching away for what seems like forever and nothing is done about it is what gets my goat.


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *magentamomma* 
Some of the PP seem angry at kids for just being kids.

I'm just dumbfounded that people aren't understanding the difference between "kids being kids" (i.e., hollering, shouting, laughing, squealing), versus the blood curdling, horror-film, I'm-being-harmed kind of long duration, completely uncalled for scream that *most* of us who are complaining are talking about.

Last time I'm gonna write it, then I have to stop looking at this thread







: I have NO problem with boisterous, loud kids having fun and being kids. I take exception when "being a kid" means an ear-piercing, long duration, distracting, head-turning scream that is way out of proportion for whatever the activity is.


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## laohaire (Nov 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tigerchild* 
Though I will admit that I did take the OP with a grain of salt because of the extreme stereotyping that she seemed to be engaging in, as well as interpreting everything being personal (they're doing it expressly to frighten my child).

Well, honestly, how else WOULD you intepret a child going up to your child's face and screaming? Getting into someone's personal space like that and screaming is awfully personal and jarring.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tigerchild* 
Plus, if you are already noise sensitive, what is ear shattering to you may not register to people who are deafened by their music blasting headphones/loud car radios/less sensitivity by nature.

So being deafened by such things makes the behavior normal?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tigerchild* 
I have never seen a child run up to a strange child and scream in their face (which I interpret as meaning literally getting in their face and screaming directly at them) with the exception of some of the developmentally disabled children I have worked with.

So, what, are you calling the OP a liar? I've read descriptions of lots of events on MDC that I have not personally witnessed, but I don't automatically dismiss them because I haven't personally experienced them.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tigerchild* 
I have seen screaming as a reaction to personal space invasion (especially by toddlers) as an alternative to punching/pinching, but that was either revenge for something OR the other child (intentionally or not) invading the space of the screamer.

Oh, I see, maybe the OP isn't imagining it but it was her son's fault?









This is just odd . . .


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## Tigerchild (Dec 2, 2001)

Oh good grief.

No, I take things with a grain of salt when someone seems to be engaging in a huge leap of interpretation. If I am already on the defensive, I am much more likely to interpret what someone does as an attack, regardless of intention.

But you're right, I am kind of odd.


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## Fay (Sep 21, 2005)

This evening DS1 and I were riding our bikes down the sidewalk in our neighborhood. A teenage girl whom I have never seen before (the other teenager was at a hotel pool 600 miles away from here) stuck her head out of the passenger window of a car and SCREAMED as loud as she could for 3 seconds as her friend drove past us. There was no one else around, so I'm pretty sure she was screaming at us. DS1 was somewhat bewildered but OK.

I am not imagining this phenomenon. Again I ask, why? Why would someone scream at a mother with her young child on a quiet street?


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

I have a response, but as an ambassador it wouldn't be appropriate.







:


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## camracrazy (May 27, 2006)

Who knows? Lack of upbringing is the only thing that comes to mind.

I was at a cemetery on Sunday trying to find the graves of some relatives. I looked up as a white car was passing on the road outside the cemetery. A teenage girl rolled down her window and started shouting at me. I couldn't understand what she was saying, but what reason could you possibly have to deliberately roll down your window and scream at someone quietly going through a cemetery?? Unless there were zombies behind them ready to eat their brains.


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## bigeyes (Apr 5, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lanamommyphd07* 
well, not to be gender-bashing here but I notice lately now that the pool is open (right outside my back door) that the times I am annoyed by noise are 100% women screeching --- not the kids. Why is it that women/girls/etc, do that high pitched scream? jeez. Maybe we're all put on edge because some evolutionary throwback within says "there is danger. go help"

I hate that. In a restaurant or a mall, when 2 women meet and you hear that eeeeeeeeee!









And we wonder why kids do it?


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## beanma (Jan 6, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Fay* 
This evening DS1 and I were riding our bikes down the sidewalk in our neighborhood. A teenage girl whom I have never seen before (the other teenager was at a hotel pool 600 miles away from here) stuck her head out of the passenger window of a car and SCREAMED as loud as she could for 3 seconds as her friend drove past us. There was no one else around, so I'm pretty sure she was screaming at us. DS1 was somewhat bewildered but OK.

I am not imagining this phenomenon. Again I ask, why? Why would someone scream at a mother with her young child on a quiet street?

Fay, in this instance I don't think that the girl was screaming at you and your ds so much as you were her audience. I think teenagers like to be a little "wild and crazy" y'know and this is the way these girls have chosen to do that and it's just much more thrilling if they can do it in front of someone else. I imagine they drove another few blocks and did it again when they saw some other people because it was "soooo much funnnnn"! They are not thinking, "hey let's scream at that mother and her young child". They're just thinking, "Hey y'all, look, there's somebody! Okay Kaylee, it's your turn. I'll roll down the window for you!" You are mere bit players in their good time. You could be anybody as long as you're an audience.


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## TinkerBelle (Jun 29, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nextcommercial* 
I'm the mother of a girl who isn't a screamer.

But, I agree. Girls scream. It's annoying, and I'd like them to knock it off, because it isn't cute, it isn't cool. It's painful and irritating. Especially in an indoor pool. That must have been earslplitting. There is nothing wrong with pointing out that other people don't really want to hear them scream, when it's not a life or death situation.


Although I think that boys scream just as much as girls, I have to agree. There is no reason to scream so much and so loudly. Whether you are on a playground, in a pool, or anywhere else. You can have fun and not scream so loudly that people are holding their ears.

Part of teaching children, is teaching them to be considerate of others.


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## Mountaingirl79 (Jul 12, 2008)

I don't let my kids scream bloody murder anywhere, but they can make appropriate outside noises outdoors. I think this is what you are talking about, OP.
Also, screaming at a pool or a swimming area shouldn't be allowed. It makes it too hard to tell if someone is in distress. Just like flapping your arms wildly might be a good way to burn off energy, it's not appropriate in some places.


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## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KarlaC* 







: I've always taught my girls that if they're not bleeding, seriously injured, about to be kidnapped or need to go to the hospital there's no reason for that sort of constant screeching. If they did it anyway we would leave where ever we were.











It gives me a flipping heart attack! I also believe in teaching my children to be considerate so that type of thing really doesn't fly.

I have never thought of myself as being noise sensitive but I guess I am. I can't stand loud noises, too much noise (like chatter), clicking (I know, odd), etc. I am always on my girls to not screech, talk one at a time, lower their voices, etc. Drives my DH nuts! Funny I never thought it was a sensitivity. Hmmm.....


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## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Fay* 
This evening DS1 and I were riding our bikes down the sidewalk in our neighborhood. A teenage girl whom I have never seen before (the other teenager was at a hotel pool 600 miles away from here) stuck her head out of the passenger window of a car and SCREAMED as loud as she could for 3 seconds as her friend drove past us. There was no one else around, so I'm pretty sure she was screaming at us. DS1 was somewhat bewildered but OK.

I am not imagining this phenomenon. Again I ask, why? Why would someone scream at a mother with her young child on a quiet street?

She was probably screaming just to scream and would have done it regardless of you being there or not. I know we used to do stuff like that when we were teenagers too.. usually out in the country though.. so we wouldn't get caught sitting out the window of a moving car.


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *beanma* 
Fay, in this instance I don't think that the girl was screaming at you and your ds so much as you were her audience.

Oooh, that's a good differentiation.

Though I'd add that the girl was probably doing it to get a reaction. Again, it's not _personal,_ but she was doing it to startle you. Drive-by screaming.














: Rude and unnecessary and weird.


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