# I think 18 months is too young to be a flower girl, do you?



## lellian (Apr 30, 2009)

DH's sister is getting married. I think it's very sweet that they want DD to be a flower girl, but honestly, she's not ready and I think this sets her up for failure. She's not going to walk down the aisle without me, and I'll be looking about her and her newborn. Daddy is in the wedding. Heaven forbid she misses her nap that day, or the wedding happens at nap time, or too close to bedtime. I think it's just silly to expect DD to walk down the aisle when she's never more than 2 steps away from me, crawling up me, clinging to me. We are supposed to discuss this topic this week end and let his sister know. I'm a definite NO.

What would you do?!?!?


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## philomom (Sep 12, 2004)

I think that's putting too much pressure on one so little.


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## kawa kamuri (Apr 19, 2006)

My daughter will be 18mo in two weeks and I think she's far too young for the job. My 4yo, on the other hand, could nail it. Sounds like your SIL, while sweet, may not have a ton of experience with toddlers.


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## Lisa1970 (Jan 18, 2009)

I might let her try, but it probably would not work out and SIL should have a back up plan. None of my children ever would have done it at that age.


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## Adaline'sMama (Apr 16, 2010)

Another vote for too young. Im interested to know how big the wedding is/ church or backyard style/ formality.

sorry...nak.


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## stormborn (Dec 8, 2001)

Totally depends on the bride's expectations. Our flower girl was almost 2 and it worked out because we knew when we asked her how toddlers are! She wandered down the aisle giving flower petals to random guests then ran to Mama (the maid of honor) , who held her for awhile until she wandered off to sit with Grandma.

Everybody got a kick out of her but it was pretty much what we expected; even pre-kids we had a good idea that she was too young to follow instructions in front of 300 people. We didn't want picture perfect, just for her to be included and look cute.


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## treeoflife3 (Nov 14, 2008)

I agree with stormborn. Personally, I'd adore having a cute little 18 month old walking down the aisle with her mommy (and possibly baby sibling) showing off her pretty dress and throwing flower petals. I'd also not be bothered at all if she made some noise or decided to wander around during the ceremony. I'm not the 'it has to be perfect like a movie/magazine' type though so my including a little one would be because they are important to me. Heck, I'd even choose a more kid friendly song for her to walk down to (or be carried by someone to hehe) just because I'd find it absolutely adorable.

If they are going for the flower girl who walks down the aisle at the right rhythm dropping petals evenly and sitting quietly on the front bench, then yeah it sounds like this isn't a good choice and they should find a better suited flower girl or not have one at all... if they just want her to be involved and don't actually care about her walking down the aisle perfectly or staying for the duration of the ceremony or what have you then it sounds like it'll be a super cute start to the ceremony.


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## BellyBean (Dec 1, 2008)

My DD was a flower girl at 13 months. She started walking at 9 months, but didn't walk down the aisle. The bride had 2 older girls (3 or 4 years old) that walked down with the flowers, then one 4 year old boy (ring bearer) that pushed a buggy with my DD and another 9 month old ring bearer. It was REALLY cute! Of course I had warned her that if DD was having a "bad" day she might not want to go in the buggy (she loved walking), but it all worked out how she wanted.

I guess it depends on the brides expectations...

I, personally wouldn't ask a toddler, infact, we didn't have any children at/in our wedding, but to each their own


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## Mal85 (Sep 3, 2008)

My daughter was a flower girl at 19 months and she did a whole lot better than I expected. I told my friend going into it that she might not make it down the aisle and she was okay with that. So, I sat on the aisle near the very front, so she could see me and walk towards me. And my friend's 5 year old nephew was a ring bearer, so he held her hand along with the other flower girl who was a couple weeks shy of 2 years old. It was actually pretty cute. She walked up, looking confused for a minute. Then the 5 year old froze because the 2 year old was trying to make friends with people along the way. Once DD spotted me, she let go of his hand and took off running towards me. So, it wasn't exactly as planned, but it worked and everyone thought it was really cute.


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## MeepyCat (Oct 11, 2006)

I'm with Stormborn too. My 16 mo niece was a flower girl at my wedding, but our expectations of her were nearly non-existent. She wore a $20 party dress from a pushcart in the mall. She wound up carried up the aisle by her dad, and making faces and cooing from her seat during the ceremony. We wanted her to be part of our wedding, and we were happy to take her on her own terms.

If the flower girl is expected to be reliable or predictable, to perform tasks correctly, be fitted for fancy clothes, walk slowly in time to music, etc., I wouldn't do it.


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## tuesdaymom (Nov 23, 2010)

My daughter was 20 months she did fine. I got fake rose petals @ 99 cent store and put them in a basket and had her practice she still askes to play with them. Like the OP said sit on the end aisle and she will be fine. She will be the hit of the wedding no matter what.


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## Owen'nZoe (Sep 7, 2005)

I'm with the ladies who said it depends on expectations. If the bride is laid back and fine with her doing what 18 month-olds will do -great! If she wants her to walk down the aisle nicely, I'd politely decline.

My son was a ring bearer when he was 2 for my sister and brother-in-law's wedding. It was an outdoor wedding held in a nature center between two big spring rain storms. When it came time to bring up the pillow with the rings, he started walking towards my sister and her husband - then spied a huge mud puddle, made a run for it, and tried to spike the pillow into the puddle. I sprinting across a soggy lawn in my dress and high hills, and had to dive to save the rings. It is still the story my sister most loves to tell about her wedding - she and her husband found it absolutely hilarious! If they didn't approach it with a sense of humor, though, it would have been awful. My new sister-in-law to be and brother are about to get married with an 18 month-old flower girl and 2 year old ring bearer. They've given my 7 year old the role of trying to "herd" them down the aisle. They are hoping to get some entertainment out of watching toddlers being toddlers. Should be fun!


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## myfairbabies (Jun 4, 2006)

My 15 month old nephew was the ring bearer for his parents wedding. I believe he walked down the aisle holding the hand of the 4 yo flower girl (who dumped out the flowers halfway through then ran to the end lol! everyone giggled) , and then his uncle (and best man) held him during the ceremony. It worked for them, but if they are expecting her to be perfect and reverent, then I'd say no. She could always run to daddy!


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## Turquesa (May 30, 2007)

There's room for creativity here. I went to a wedding with a wee flower girl being pulled down the aisle in a wagon.

This is one of countless situations, however, when it depends on the individual child. At age 18 months, mine would be too active and squirmy. But it worked for the little girl that I saw, and she was darling!


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## colsxjack (Dec 9, 2009)

Our DD will be a flower girl at age 2 and her cousin the ring bearer at age 18months this summer.

Who knows if they will walk down the aisle, hold hands, or anything. She probably wont sit for the ceremony.

But her aunt wants the kids to be a part of her day, and they will be cute, and the expectations are that it will not go smoothly...so we are good to go.


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