# Moms who claim their kids will only eat chicken nuggets etc...



## Valrock (Nov 10, 2004)

I wonder about this.

Are there really kids out there that are this picky? I'm serious... maybe I've been blessed with two children who would rather eat a bowl of steel cut oats with maple syrup than a bowl of lucky charms (shudder lol). But I don't understand this.

They've been eating whole foods since they started eating table food. Yeah, we've had the occasional chicken nugget but they're certainly not a dinner table staple. My four year old says his favorite food is fish on the grill and "trees" (broccoli) LOL.









Is it one of those nature versus nurture debates?


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## Norasmomma (Feb 26, 2008)

I am a huge believer that it is what they have been given. If you let them have chicken nuggets all. the. time then of course that's all they will want to eat. I will say my DD has a great appetite and will eat pretty much anything, but there are days when all she wants is milk(like today).

My IL's are always trying to feed her crap, and she turns her nose up at it. She doesn't like Capri Sun and we don't let her drink pop, thank you. My niece gives her 2 y/o pop, that is conditioning her to drink it, how sad.

I believe it is nurture.


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## Masel (Apr 14, 2008)

My DD's diet is severely constrained by food allergies. There's one brand of nuggets I could find without her main allergens. The is one of the few "normal" foods she can have at family gatherings and with friends. (I've made nuggets before but with all the cousins it is so much easier to buy premade.) Anyway, chicken nuggets have some magical cachet with DD now. I certainly don't indulge this all the time but they are her favoritest food in the world.


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## lavieenrose (Jun 30, 2005)

I think it's definitely nurture, but sometimes nature (in the form of allergies) can affect this as well.

My daughter eats anything and everything because I started her on whole foods, foods of other cultures, etc. She has no trouble trying something new. She also doesn't have any food sensitivities that we've found.

I guess we're lucky.


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## RunnerDuck (Sep 12, 2003)

I tend to find a child who claims to love fish and broccoli above all else to be just as mind boggling as a child who will eat "nothing" besides chicken nuggets.









Nature vs. nurture arguments never seem to serve much purpose other than to give people something to talk about. Ie - the problem never seems solvable but it's fun to chew on. I do know that my parents tried very hard to get us to eat broccoli as kids and we hated it. I heard something a few years back on NPR that kids have more bitter taste receptors than adults, which is why kids don't like veggies, but grow to like them as adults. I don't think it's just a matter of learning it's good for you, so you eat it, and you get used to it. Ie I used to HATE spinach. I LOVE it now. It's the only topping I ever have on pizza and it's because I LOVE it. I love broccoli now, too - esp. raw which I used to HATE - even as a young adult I would only eat it cooked. Now I like it better raw. So I don't know, my parents tried, but it didn't work.

To me, nature seems like a strong argument here.

BUT without nurture there'd be no exposure so who knows.


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## pinksprklybarefoot (Jan 18, 2007)

I think that there is a small subset of children out there will sensory issues, and the parents of those children probably do whatever they can to get there child to eat something, anything. That said, I believe that this is rare.

In the US, we are so conditioned to think that kids only like chicken nuggets, mac n cheese, and pizza. So we feed our children these foods. They taste good, but are bland enough so that if you start your child off on these foods, the taste of broccoli is going to be pretty strong in comparison.

With DS, I've made a conscious decision to expose him to all sorts of foods, especially different kinds of vegetables. He eats what we eat for dinner, and we eat a pretty varied diet. We'll see what happens. We are vegan, so many of the traditional "kids' menu" options aren't available to us anyway.

My DSD was a fruit, yogurt, and white bread kind of gal when I met her 4 years ago. Now that she has been eating dinners with us for so many years where she has been expected to try things, she is a much more adventurous eater. I am always reminded of it when we have a friend of hers over for dinner - compared to DSD, she won't eat anything. But her parents feed her the SAD.


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## cherimoya (Mar 23, 2008)

I have 2 friends that have 5/6 yo sons that have very limited diets and both Moms blame themselves.....something like "oh when he was very young he liked chicken nuggets and cheese pizza so that's all I gave him!!". Seriously?! Now both of them regret it and it's hard to feed their kids anything else. imo, the rest of the family doesn't eat a wide variety either (from what I've seen they eat a lot of packaged, overly-processed foods). I personally find it strange & very interesting since I was brought up eating all sorts of different foods and my dks eat a huge variety too.

At first I thought they were just joking but then I had one of the boys here for dinner every 2nd week during the summer. First night was a complete bust, he didn't like anything and didn't even know what cantaloupe or honey-dew melon was! So I asked him what he liked, he said chicken nuggets! So the next time I made beautiful home-made nuggets, but before they were even on the table he said "yuck, what's that? NO, NO, chicken nuggets have to come out of the red bag out of the freezer". Whoa! The next time I bought frozen pepperoni pizza and that wasn't 100% either because he only likes "cheese pizza". OMG! Eventually the dinners stopped for many other reasons, and I haven't missed them.

The other MOm and her son came over for lunch one time and I had the usual ww bread, hummus, avocado, sliced meats, cheese and lots of berries & fruit to choose from. The Mom was impressed and her son only ate some meat and cheese - only likes white bread. Oh and he was not impressed that we only had water to drink!

I hate to compare, because it definitely makes me sound like a food-snob, but I seriously don't understand why parents are ok with this, why they wouldn't go through the hassle of trying different foods. My dd now is constantly rejecting different foods (mainly bf) but that's her age and one week she likes strawberries and the next not and yes, it's a hassle to constantly think of different foods and preparing them etc but that's the experience, right?!

Oh and I think some of it might also have to do with whether someone was brought up in a house where parent(s) cooked or not. Both my parents worked as chefs/cooks when I was young, so we were always cooking in the home.


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## AllyRae (Dec 10, 2003)

My son's been in feeding therapy since August because he literally would starve himself--he went 4 days without eating or drinking anything and before/after that he had 2 or 3 foods that he would eat. He was drastically underweight (32 lbs at almost 5 years old). He was anemic. He was the kid who wouldn't even eat the chicken nuggets! LOL!!

But we're also a believer of "don't give them crap if you don't want that to be the only food they eat". As picky as he is, we still didn't pull out the deep fryer. His chicken nuggets were baked, fries were baked, and we fed him as many fruits/veggies/whole/healthy foods as we could. We told his feeding therapist to *not* get him to eat HFCS products or spaghetti-os, etc. because we wouldn't be feeding him those at home--that we needed the therapist to work with him on eating the types of foods we served (well, she did get him to eat a hot dog, but now we just buy all natural all beef no nitrate hot dogs as a compromise.







: ) We made his feeding therapist use healthy foods as part of therapy.

My son is autistic and has sensory issues. Even in his no-eating phase we never loaded him up on fast food because if he was only going to eat one food, we wanted it to be something with nutrition. It turned out his one food that he was going to eat day in and day out and nothing else was a sunflower seed butter and strawberry preserves sandwich on whole grain organic bread--I'll take that.


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## charleysmama23 (Sep 28, 2008)

My sister's ds1 is VERY picky and VERY stubborn, but that's because he has chosen food to be his battle ground for testing his limits (he's 4 1/2). He gest mixed signals from mom & dad when it comes to boundaries so he pushes a lot. He gets so upset about it that even when he DOES try a new food he often gags and throws up (not always, but often). Anyway, my sister says it's all because when he was 2-ish she started making dinner for her and her dh and then asking ds1 what he wanted for dinner...so now he expects that all the time. They're working on it, but it's really hard. My point is that in their case it was absolutely the choices/mistakes of the parents that lead to their current picky situation...but that's just them.


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## choli (Jun 20, 2002)

It's hard to tell, isn't it? It would be interesting to see if there has been research into this in developing countries. Are children less inclined to have "sensory issues" and food allergies and pickiness in general when food is scarce and hunger is common? Or is this attitude to food common in all societies?


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## 425lisamarie (Mar 4, 2005)

I have no idea but every so often I WISH my kids preferred the simplicity of a chicken nugget. I have to pound and bread them myself









Of course I'm kidding but I'm sure it's tough having a picky kid, wether you did it yourself to them or not. Problem is people assume kids want the nasty "kid food" like plastic cheese and such. My kids wouldn't eat a chicken nugget. In fact I tried buying some premium brand and they looked at my cross eyed like "what, you're not cooking me dinner LOL?" I think once people give the young kids nuggets and hotdogs every day for so long it's hard to open up their palate again


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## Llyra (Jan 16, 2005)

I think some kids are just picky. That said, though, they'll "pick" from what they are offered. My DD1 had a VERY limited diet up until only about a month ago. She's never really been offered junk food, but she did have a list of about four things she'd eat, and that was it. For her, it was peaches, yogurt, pasta, and peas, (and sometimes chicken, if it had no skin, no browned or blackened parts, and no sauce or seasoning at all), which isn't a bad spread, all things considered. But that was ALL she'd eat. If it wasn't offered, she'd wait. Patiently. She'd wait DAYS, and then when she finally had access to those foods, she'd eat as much as she could hold. We haven't given up, and lately she's branching out more, but I certainly deny that it's anything I did or left undone that made her so picky-- we eat a staggering variety of wonderfully nourishing foods in this house. Also, my other two aren't like that-- they eat tiny amounts, but they'll try anything.

Some kids are just conservative when it comes to food.


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## Keria (Sep 27, 2008)

I have not met a toddler that didnt like broccoli carrots and lots of veggies, and I have yet to meet 6 yo that was crazy about veggies.


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## tinuviel_k (Apr 29, 2004)

While there are a few kids out there who have true sensory issues I'm willing to bet that 90% of picky kids are simply that...picks.

One friend of mine's daughter will ONLY eat chicken nuggets, cheese, french toast sticks, apples, and juice at home. Her mom claims she won't touch _anything_ else. She bribes her to eat other foods with sweets.

Its downright amazing, though...







When she spends the day at our house she eats what we eat. Sure, there is an initial "I don't like that!" But we don't keep chicken nuggets and french toast in the house. After five minutes of complaining she jumps right into the carrot sticks, grilled cheese on whole wheat bread, tomato soup, salad, or whatever we are having. She eats it, enjoys it, usually says "That was good!" Hmmmmm...


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## RunnerDuck (Sep 12, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **Louise** 
I have not met a toddler that didnt like broccoli carrots and lots of veggies, and I have yet to meet 6 yo that was crazy about veggies.

There is something to be said for this.

My babies will eat ANYTHING. (I mean ANYTHING... right now they both eat dirt if we're outside, and one of them I once caught sucking on a dryer sheet...)

My son used to love cauliflower and broccoli - but only part of it, I can't remember if he liked the fluffy part or the stems... but now he won't touch any of it. He does love carrots, though (He's 5) As a kid, carrots were my fave. veggie, too. Carrots and cukes - he likes cukes, too.

So already he's started to like... and has grown out of... some things.

No amount of cajoling will fix it. Whenever I have a veggie I go crazy saying to DH "Oh this is so good, this is amazing" etc trying to get DS interested... we might as well be eating dirt.

Which he doesn't like, just the babies.


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## tracyhos (Aug 27, 2005)

I used to think it was just a cop out. Then my 3rd came along. He doesn't like nuggets, but he is insanely picky. He eats healthy; but there are like 10 things he likes. Cheese in any form (slice, chunk, string). Yogurt, bananas, waffles, milk, OJ, crackers, my homemade banana or pumpkin bread, and dry cereal. That is it. He will not eat anything else. He is 3. I can't hold him down and make him eat. We try to get him to eat other things, and he simply won't do it. He would rather not eat all day than eat something that he doesn't like.

My other 2 are wonderful eaters. There are a few things they don't like, but overall they are great eaters....

So...anyhoo. That is my 2 cents.


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## puffingirl (Nov 2, 2006)

I'll add that I was really picky as a kid. I'd eat a variety of healthy things, but I didn't like sauces on anything, veggies had to be raw and new things freaked me out. Seriously, like I'd get anxiety attacks when presented with new foods and getting invites to eat at a friend's house would make me nervous for days. Thankfully, I outgrew a lot of that and am an adventurous eater now. I don't think it had anything to do with the food my parents presented--it was just me. When I was pregnant, I reverted to a very limited diet for at least 4 months. I ate grilled cheese, potatoes, very cold canned fruit and chicken soup. Almost anything else was completely horrific for me. By the tail end of my 2nd trimester I was back to my normal diet (minus spicy stuff that gave me awful heartburn







). But it really reminded me of how real food aversions can be. DD is only 20 months and is a fantastic eater now (we just split a sampler platter at our local Middle Eastern restaurant), but I won't be surprised if she gets picky later.


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## AuntLavender (Apr 22, 2002)

My older 3 kids ate everything! I like to cook and with several children it's too expensive to eat out.

Then my fourth came along. He is physically disabled. He also has low muscle tone in his tongue. He is almost 6 and can now move his tongue side to side and you need to be able to do that to eat! He still cannot touch his top lip with his tongue.

I am delighted when he eats anything! That being said I breastfed him until he was 5 because that was the healthiest thing he would eat.

It's easy to blame mom when you haven't walked in her shoes.

That being said my son ate 2 one inch slices of pumpkin pie yesterday for the first time ever! He eats very few veggies and no fruits save the occasional swallow of apple juice. I took a photo!

I serve nutricious foods yet my son refuses most of them. Is it nature or nurture? I don't think I parent him differently. He was my 4th not my first or second.

Sincerely,
Debra, homeschooling mom of 4 ages 12, 11, 9, and 5


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## Llyra (Jan 16, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **Louise** 
I have not met a toddler that didnt like broccoli carrots and lots of veggies

I"d like to introduce you to my DD1, then. She has never eaten veggies. Even as a baby, when she was first allowed to play around with food and try it, she staunchly rejected most foods. She ate peas, carrots, and tomatoes (which aren't even really veggies) and that's it, and even those she'd USUALLY reject. Just every once in a while she'd try one. And as a toddler, she ate tomatoes, sometimes, and peas occasionally, and that's it. Peaches, yogurt, pasta, sometimes tomatoes or peas, occasionally plain chicken, and for a brief time in late infancy she liked oatmeal.

I never gave her junk to get her to eat. I never bribed or begged her to eat. I never made alternate meals, so that she'd eat. And it's not just for me. She won't eat at school, or at my mother's house, or at my brother's house, or anywhere else for that matter. She has always been offered tasty, nutritious, in-season, local food, all homemade and appetizing. She won't eat any of it. She just waits until the meal includes what she likes, and then eats.

I think that people who don't believe that kids can be picky all on their own, despite their parents doing everything right, are very lucky. They've never had a picky kid. So they can go ahead and make generalizations about WHY kids are picky. Until it happens to them.

I do agree, though, that even a picky child will pick from what's offered. So the one sure solution to a child who won't eat anything but XYZ is to stop buying XYZ. But then they fixate on some other food.

It really does happen, and it irritates me when people seem to imply it's always the parents' fault.


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## Viola (Feb 1, 2002)

My kids have texture issues, or at least my older one does. She has gotten to the point where she would rather just not eat than eat foods she doesn't like. For years I thought she just didn't like bread, because I always had sprouted grain bread in the house. But once she got a sandwich with white bread, and lo and behold, she started eating bread. She would very specifically tell me, "buy this kind of bread, the white kind, not brown." I would buy a soft kind of multigrain bread and make her a sandwich for her school lunch, but she wouldn't eat it, she chose to make do with the other stuff in her lunchbox, and then would complain she was hungry once she was home. Same with whole wheat pasta or spaghetti sauce or brown rice, even when disguised under other stuff. Now she mostly eats sourdough bread.

Sometimes she would try new things at other people's homes, and I would think, "hooray, I've found a new food she'll eat." But then she wouldn't like it the next time she encountered it, so I think it was just the novelty of being somewhere else. Or we had situations where she was at other people's homes and was quite vocal about not liking the food, and not eating it. I actually had to cut short a visit during lunch time when she didn't like the food offered, and I felt she was being rude and we should leave.

So, I don't know. I do believe that if she were truly hungry enough, she would eat foods that were distasteful to her, just as starving people would eat many things a non-starving person would avoid. I was never willing to actually push the issue. My husband is extremely pick and will go for about a day and a half without eating anything if he doesn't like the food being served (like when we are visiting somewhere), and then he finds a way to stop off and buy something to eat that is palatable to him.


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## Ducky5306 (Jul 2, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RunnerDuck* 
I tend to find a child who claims to love fish and broccoli above all else to be just as mind boggling as a child who will eat "nothing" besides chicken nuggets.










My ds (almost 3) will eat Grilled Salmon and Steamed Broccoli over any other food i offer him.. (other then maybe a cupcake/treat) He hates chicken nuggets and when traveling i've stopped and got fast food and he refuses to eat it







only wish i could say the same about me! lol..

I do think kids *generally* eat the same types of food their parents eat.. I mean if a 4 y/o has never had fast food/ possessed food then they aren't going to always ask for it kwim?


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## Valrock (Nov 10, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ducky5306* 
My ds (almost 3) will eat Grilled Salmon and Steamed Broccoli over any other food i offer him.. (other then maybe a cupcake/treat) He hates chicken nuggets and when traveling i've stopped and got fast food and he refuses to eat it







only wish i could say the same about me! lol..

I do think kids *generally* eat the same types of food their parents eat.. I mean if a 4 y/o has never had fast food/ possessed food then they aren't going to always ask for it kwim?

I tend to agree with this also. It's frustrating for my DH who can be a bit lazy and wants to get the kids fast food in the evenings while I'm at work. DS makes him go to Wendy's so he can get a baked potato







. I grew up rarely eating fast food and DH ate it all the time. We're a military family so the kids are much more used to being around me than DH.


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## Sharlla (Jul 14, 2005)

My kids like junk food but they also like good food. Typically I just make them cookies or muffins for snacks and they eat a lot of fruit and veggies too.

Oh and my kids love broccoli, they call it little trees LOL They pretty much eat whatever I give them.


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## Missinnyc (Aug 21, 2003)

It's pretty much impossible that it's not nurture- I mean, how many starving kids in developing countries would turn up their noses at rice or meat or even insects, etc, saying they only eat chicken nuggets?

However, I think we could stand to be less judgmental- food isn't as moral as I think we think it is.


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## claddaghmom (May 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Valrock* 
I wonder about this.

Are there really kids out there that are this picky? I'm serious... maybe I've been blessed with two children who would rather eat a bowl of steel cut oats with maple syrup than a bowl of lucky charms (shudder lol). But I don't understand this.

They've been eating whole foods since they started eating table food. Yeah, we've had the occasional chicken nugget but they're certainly not a dinner table staple. My four year old says his favorite food is fish on the grill and "trees" (broccoli) LOL.









Is it one of those nature versus nurture debates?

Well I'll vote for nature on this one. Ten of my mom's eleven kids will eat what is put in front of them. Barring a few small episodes during the toddler years of learning to eat veggies or the rare incident of having to eat Aunt Maple's burned turkey at a family reunion....we eat everything in sight without complaint.

Escargot? Sure. Sushi? There won't be any left! You serve it, we eat it lol.

But then along came my youngest sister, who is now 4 years old. If you didn't literally sit there and spoon feed her as she's whining and crying, she would never eat more than french fries, nuggets, cheese and bread. Literally.

And this seemed to be an inclination from a young age onwards. I remember one time my mom served multi-colored whole wheat pasta when she was about 1.5. She took all the green pasta and put it to the side! Refused to eat it!

You can't blame the introduction of junk food either. Even if a meal is completely TF, she will refuse to eat certain foods, or even refuse to eat at all.

Unsurprisingly, my mom has done CLW with her.


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## cherimoya (Mar 23, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Llyra* 
I think that people who don't believe that kids can be picky all on their own, despite their parents doing everything right, are very lucky. They've never had a picky kid. So they can go ahead and make generalizations about WHY kids are picky. Until it happens to them.

I do agree, though, that even a picky child will pick from what's offered. So the one sure solution to a child who won't eat anything but XYZ is to stop buying XYZ. But then they fixate on some other food.

It really does happen, and it irritates me when people seem to imply it's always the parents' fault.

I agree that kids can be picky all on their own. I am picky when it comes to cooked carrots and spinach and I'm an adult! We all have likes & dislikes, BUT what I have a difficult time agreeing on is if you have a picky eater then why are you (and I don't mean the poster!, I mean people I have personally met) only offering XYZ which is not healthy choices? If my kid was picky then he would only be eating a few healthy choices since that's all that's been offered here at home.

It's not "always" the parent's fault, but I think *sometimes* it definitely is and these are opinions that have been formed mainly from other parents telling me that it's their own fault and that they hope they "grow out of it" because "I only gave my kid frozen, packaged XYZ from the get go, he liked it, so I kept offering that until he decided that he would ONLY eat that!". These are good friends and great parents by the way, they just don't have healthy habits themselves and so this is passed on to their kids......in no way would I ever assume that this goes for every picky eater out there.


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MissinNYC* 
It's pretty much impossible that it's not nurture- I mean, how many starving kids in developing countries would turn up their noses at rice or meat or even insects, etc, saying they only eat chicken nuggets?

However, I think we could stand to be less judgmental- food isn't as moral as I think we think it is.

My guess is that the impoverished kids with true food/texture issues die of malnutrition and related diseases. Some kids, when not offered anything palatable to them, simply won't eat. In the USA/Canada/Europe, these kids end up on feeding tubes. In impoverished villages, these kids die. So the surviving people DON'T have these issues.

IME, I think it's a mixture of both nature and nurture. There are kids who are super picky, no matter how they're raised. Then there are kids who are picky BECAUSE of how they've been raised. And plenty of kids with a mixture of both- they truly do have food texture issues, but their parents aren't doing anything to help them grow out of it, or to introduce a wider variety of unprocessed foods that might be palatable.

There are also plenty of kids IMO who don't have innate food issues but have developed horrible eating habits because of how they've been fed.

There are also polite and impolite ways to handle food issues, regardless of their severity or cause. I remember a family member bringing chicken nuggets to the Passover seder (after I'd driven myself crazy covering every surface in my mom's kitchen so my kids and I could safely eat there, as I keep kosher and she doesn't). I understand that her 7yo might not have otherwise eaten much of the food being served, but in the end he didn't eat more than one nugget anyway. She could have fed him before bringing him over and/or after it ended (which is what ended up happening- he was too busy playing with my kids to eat.) She could have brought something he likes to eat that didn't require heating up. She could have asked me to get some kosher-for-Passover versions of foods he does eat (such as french fries- they do make Passover chicken nuggets but he might not have liked or eaten them.)


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

Deeeeep, dark confession time, ladies and gents.

My son ate ANYTHING, until he was a little over 3 - my friends couldn't believe it, even strangers at restaurants commented. Then for whatever reason he slowly started getting pickier. DD ate a relatively varied diet up until about 18 months (She was born when DS was 2-1/2)...then she started refusing things, too. That's when it happened - we fell into the trap. I just wasn't up for the battle most of the time (working full time at home, DH working long hours), so I just kept giving them things they did like because I was so shot by dinnertime I just wanted things peaceful. It started innocently enough, I would either make them a meat or starch that I knew they liked, and they'd eat other thing we were having (like, I'd make nuggets because they didn't want pork tenderloin but would eat the rice I was serving with it, or making rice because they woud eat the chicken I was serving, but didn't like roasted potatoes)....then they started getting even pickier, and I still wasn't up for it, and wound up just making all "kid" stuff for them (baked, but 'kid' fare nonetheless). So, DD is now 2-1/2 and DS is now 5. So this has been going on for a while, and gotten worse and worse. Finally, 2 weeks ago, I realized this was so far from where I wanted to be food wise that I did something drastic, and completely uncharacteristic of my parenting style. I went Oliver Twist on them.







: I talked to them about it for a coupe days, prepared them, told them why we were doing it, and then did it. They were presented with the dinner I (or my husband) cooked, and they could choose to eat it, or not, and if they chose not, there wouldn't be anything else served to them. They got the big idea after the first night to refuse dinner, then wake up super early starving and begging for their favorite foods, so then we implemented the 'if you don't eat it for dinner, you'll be served it the next day for lunch' rule (I cannot believe I did something so Draconian, but I was so resentful and angry that things had gotten this far that I didn't want to relent and make things even worse, so we went forward). Happened once with DS and twice with DD. The first 3 nights were not pretty, I'll admit it. There were protests, tears, the gamut. We were sympathetic and calm, but firm. We talked a LOT. The thing I feel the worst about is that it was me (well, us, as my DH cooks a fair bit too) who created the problem but _them_ who had to suffer for a few nights. The GOOD news is that after those few challenging evenings, the change is unbelieveable. They are both now happily eating exactly what we cook for dinner, and *enjoying* it. I am very sensitive to fear-based parenting and children behaving out of avoidance or fear, and it's not the case with them for this. They are genuinely interested in and enjoying the foods. It's SUCH a relief.

I have posted numerous times previously on MDC on food threads that I would never make food an issue or a battle...that it wasn't a big deal to throw a pot of rice in or whatever....but that got me into a big problem. I actually *did* create a food "issue" by creating separate meals for them and not pushing them a little past their comfort zones to eat a healthy variety of foods. I was getting so resentful because the foods we make aren't like nouvelle cuisine or anything - it's mostly pretty traditional comfort kind of food. We're on week 2 of this 'new deal', and it's working beautifully. Last night, as my son ate some mashed potatoes and corn (which he had not done previously since he was less than 3 yrs old), he said, "Mom, this is just scrumptious!"







: My daughter? Ate homemade mac & cheese the other night for the first time ever and LOVED it. Asked for seconds.

Where I had previously dreaded dinnertime for the last few months at least, I now look forward to dinnertime again.

So, there it is: My confession. How a well-intentioned mom slips into the "kiddie food" trap, and how she got herself out of it. I had to go outside of *my* comfort level parenting wise (I'm largely nonpunitive and a firm advocate of GD) for a few days, but the outcome has been so worth it. If either of them had started to display any major issues, I would have regrouped and figured something out (if either had sensory or medical issues, I would have figured something else out too - but they don't have sensory or medical issues preventing them from eating foods)...as it turns out, they just needed a little nudge to reopen their palates.

Whew - I feel about 20 pounds lighter getting that off my chest!


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## rhiandmoi (Apr 28, 2006)

When I was a baby my mom didn't buy baby food, she just mashed up whatever they were eating so as a small fry I had a very varied diet. That did not stop me from having about a 6 month period where I only ate pancakes, chicken drummettes and cheerios. I can't remember how old I was, but old enough that I actually remember it. So maybe 4? Even now my mom teases me about it, and she's got my husband on board with her.


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## JaneSmith1010 (Apr 22, 2007)

I don't have time to read all the posts, but in most cases if parents eat healthily and offer healthy food the children will have a taste for it. We all have things we are educated about, care about and focus on more than other things. For some of us that happens to be health and proper nutrition. For others, they may have parenting strengths in other areas. While I do think improper or inadequate nutrition (like feeding kids all packaged, convenience foods full of sugar and chemicals) harms them developmentally and physically it is none of my business. Does it irk me a bit, of course....esp when the kids are constantly sick, have ear infections and yet are being fed store bought milk and walking around with chocolate chip cookies. But, right now I'm trying not to be too judgemental about it, knowing that I could improve in other areas of parenting myself.

If parents like the chicken nugget moms are looking for solutions, I would say fix the healthy stuff and wait em out. I watch my best friend feed her child nothing but cookies and chips and m&ms because he 'will not eat anything else". Yet, I have never seen him offered anything else. Who knows, I'm just glad I don't have that problem. My kid throws a tantrum if he can't have a bowl of green peas for breakfast.

Ruthla, can't say I agree with your assessment that impoverish/malnourished kids with texture issues would die of starvation if offered food. I have been in a malnourised state and towards that latter severe part of it all of my pickiness went out the window. People with certain deficiencies will crave the strangest things that are not palatable to healthy people and I personally know of children who were so starved they were eating their own feces before CPS found them. I think we are spoiled regarding food and parents pander to this too much sometimes because food has become so convenient. Thus, if a kid doesn't like something healthy that takes longer to make, what does the accomodating parent do sometimes? they make a convenience food because it is past dinner time, late, and they are too tired to make an alternative healthy food that may take more effort. I think that is how this stuff gets started, aside from modeling. I could be wrong though....I have many years of parenting ahead of me.


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## Alyantavid (Sep 10, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MissinNYC* 
It's pretty much impossible that it's not nurture- I mean, how many starving kids in developing countries would turn up their noses at rice or meat or even insects, etc, saying they only eat chicken nuggets?

However, I think we could stand to be less judgmental- food isn't as moral as I think we think it is.

I agree with this. I've read this thread several times and can't quite figure out a response that won't get me flamed.

My kids are picky eaters. No more so than any other typical 2 and 7 year old. We also deal with allergies so that makes it even harder. Without having to have any sort of food issues with your child makes you incredibly lucky. Although lots of mom's of picky eaters did the exact same things.


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## greeny (Apr 27, 2007)

I have two kids, close in age, that I've raised almost identically. One kid eats almost nothing (is very picky). One eats almost anything.

My almost-6-year old is and always has been VERY picky. She is a self-proclaimed vegetarian because she hates any meat. The list of things she will eat is very limited, and it's hard to make sure her diet is healthy.

My 4-year-old son eats almost anything.

Last night, for example, I made a Thai curry with coconut milk base, lots of veggies, and chicken. I served it with brown rice.

My dd ate ONLY the brown rice, with a little butter mixed in. She had raw carrot sticks and apple slices on the side.

My son ate the curry.

I honestly think that even is she were literally starving, my dd would not eat that curry I made. She just wouldn't.

It obviously depends on the situation, but some kids are, by nature (and not nurture) really, really picky.


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## lucky_mia (Mar 13, 2007)

These nature/nurture debated always make me laugh. I have twins, literally the same environment from conception, fed from the same breasts, introduced to the same foods at the same time, same meals, observed the same parental habits yet....one is picky, one is not. One gags on food that the other one scarfs down and the later has food allergies. go figure.

I think kids are never going to like foods you don't introduce them to but just because they are introduced, doesn't mean they will like them.

I take no credit, I take no blame. They came this way.


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## robugmum (May 1, 2003)

I liked your story 4ofus!







: Way to go!


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jhow32000* 
Ruthla, can't say I agree with your assessment that impoverish/malnourished kids with texture issues would die of starvation if offered food. <snip> I think we are spoiled regarding food and parents pander to this too much sometimes because food has become so convenient.

Unquestionably, a huge part of much pickiness today is learned behavior. Some parents honestly know nothing about nutrition, others know better but "fall into the trap" with long hours, trying to prevent power struggles, etc. When things are tight, pickiness goes out the window- with "normal healthy" kids. This probably accounts for 95% or more of today's "picky eaters."

But there are still some kids with innate, serious, food issues. When presented with the choice between unpalatable food and starving, most healthy people will choose the unpalatable food -at least if the situation is longterm. Many more would skip a meal in the face of "icky food" but most won't actually let themselves starve. Some kids would actually choose starvation; they are truly incapable of eating certain foods. These are the kids who end up with feeding tubes if there's access to modern medicine, or who may die without it.


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## 2xy (Nov 30, 2008)

I think it's mostly nurture.

I'll eat almost anything. I can think of only a handful of foods I don't care for, and two or three that I despise (beets being one of them).

My ex-H is a picky eater.

My boys have never been as picky as their dad, with DS2 being fairly willing to try almost anything. But, I've noticed that their level of pickiness decreased suddenly and significantly since their dad moved out, and isn't there constantly making comments about how "disgusting" mushrooms are and other such things.

I have a friend whose daughter is 16 and still eats nothing but overly processed "kid" food. I've seen her eat chicken nuggets, hamburgers (plain), meatloaf, mac-n-cheese, and chicken pot pie (but she picks out the veggies and only eats the chicken, gravy, and crust). I made her a grilled cheese sandwich once with Muenster, and she said it tasted "funny." Muenster is NOT a strong cheese! It's practically American.







Her mother is almost as picky.


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## 2xy (Nov 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ruthla* 
Some kids would actually choose starvation; they are truly incapable of eating certain foods. These are the kids who end up with feeding tubes if there's access to modern medicine, or who may die without it.

I think, like anorexia and bulimia, this sort of condition tends to exist only in countries where food is plentiful.

I can't imagine a little Ethiopian child refusing food.


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## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

This is a great discussion! I've always wondered about this, too. I just can't imagine having that much of a picky eater.

But then, my DD will NOT eat chicken nuggets like those that come from McDonalds. She would rather starve, honestly. (me, too







)


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## BarnMomma (Dec 12, 2008)

I'm so happy to discover this thread becasue this is something I"m very interested in.

My DS (20 mo) eats just about everything he's been given by US. And what I mean is that I coook everything we eat myself from scratch. ( On the rare occasion we go out DS eats salmon and steamed veggies.)

But I should also mention that anything even slightly considered junk food does not come inot (or get made) in our house. So there is no regaular pasta only kamut/quinoa spirals, no cookies, no dessert foods, nothing like that.

DS thinks "food" is organic/local* veggies, meat, fish, some raw dairy, and grains. If he gets on a carb-y kick (like brown rice only) we stop making it and switch to barley or quinoa.

He has no idea other foods(like chicken nuggets) even exist and I plan to keep it that way as long as I can.

I have been clever. For instance DS loves soup. I can make soup with every kind of veggie imaginable..kale, lima beans, yams, asparagus, beans..if it's in a soup, he'll gladly eat it.

We also invole DS in cooking. Even as a little infant he'd be in his bouncy chair on the kitchen counter holding his stalk of chard and waving it around. I garden and he came with me last summer (10-13 mo)to pick the salad greens or the beans or tomoatoes of whatever. He could pick out the stuff at the farm markets. We get VERY visably excited over veggies and DS has picked up on it.

He helps make the salad every night. And when DH and I eat our salad, DS gets his own little bowl of greens which he tries( on his own) every night to eat. He doesn't liek it yet and most gets spit out as soon as he eats it, but he tries every single night to eat his bowl of salad becasue he sees how much DH and I like it. We don't make a big deal about the spitting out we just say "that's ok, maybe tomorrow."

To date Ds loves salmon, scallops, sardines, beef, pork, lamb, chicken, turkey, all fowl, venison, and all veggies with the exception of cabbage, kidney beans, and raw tomoatoes. He also likes most whole grains.

DS sometimes goes on "food strikes" so we just nurse a lot to make up the calories difference.

I'm a very big believer that kids will eat what's offered. For the chicken nugget pizza folks, how did your LO get introduced to pizza and nuggets? If it's not an option, they won't eat it. Unless they are driving themselves to the store to buy foood, how else would they develop a taste for such foods?

I should also add that for "cookies" I make occasionaly oatmeal cookies made with fine bran (not flour) and very low "sweet" (agave) factor with lots of nuts and raisins. Ds thinks they're just dandy. even for his 1st birthday cake I made a bana cake with no sugar/added sweetener and used whole wheat flour with an unsweetened cream cheese forsting and he was fine with is.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

I was a naturally picky eater. So is dd. However, my mom never said, and I'll never say "she'll only eat X". We continue to offer things she's refused in the past. She doesn't like any of the Thai or Indian cooking I do (her brothers both do), except one fish stew in coconut broth. However, dh and I had Thai take-out for Valentines last year, and dd enjoyed the chicken satay and a couple other things. So, we keep offering. She gradually, slowly expands. I think the "only chicken nuggets" is mostly a nurture thing, but from reading here over the last few years, I think there are also sensory issues for some kids. (I will say that, in most cafeterias/food courts, dh and I get the kids chicken nuggets, because they're more likely to eat those than anything else...and I don't want to spend money on wasted food, or deal with hungry kids when we're out. That doesn't happen often).

I know one mom who has a list of foods that "we" don't like, and it's probably about a meter long, if it were written down in 12 point font. On that list are most vegetables, mangoes, fish and whole wheat bread. Two of her sons have happily eaten sandwiches on whole wheat at my house. They both _love_ mangoes. We gave one of the boys a 1lb. box of spring mix as a semi-gag Christmas present (he got another gift, too) and his face lit up like the Christmas tree. I made stuffed sole for another boy, and he gulped up about six pieces, and asked me to invite him for that again. If the oldest is here and we're having fish, he seems fine with it. At birthday parties, all four kids flock on the cut veggie tray the way some kids would on ice cream or candy. So...I don't know what she's on about, but those kids aren't even remotely eating the way she claims they do...


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## Alyantavid (Sep 10, 2004)

Quote:

I'm a very big believer that kids will eat what's offered. For the chicken nugget pizza folks, how did your LO get introduced to pizza and nuggets? If it's not an option, they won't eat it. Unless they are driving themselves to the store to buy foood, how else would they develop a taste for such foods?
I'm assuming you're a sahm? Kids are exposed to foods like that anywhere. Yes, my kids have had pizza and chicken nuggets, made from scratch by me, with only organic, raised by my family ingredients.

My kids go places, they go to school, daycare, out with Grandma. They see different kinds of foods. I'm not going to shelter my kids from the world simply because they might make a bad choice when they get older. We talk about food alot, good foods, bad foods, my kids help me cook, they help me garden, they help me feed our animals. They may love to help grow every kind of vegetable and then cook it, but that doesn't mean they'll eat it. I grow radishes for my dh and I'm very proud of them, but I still won't eat them. Personal tastes have some factor in all of this.


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## BarnMomma (Dec 12, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Alyantavid* 
I'm assuming you're a sahm? Kids are exposed to foods like that anywhere. Yes, my kids have had pizza and chicken nuggets, made from scratch by me, with only organic, raised by my family ingredients.

My kids go places, they go to school, daycare, out with Grandma. They see different kinds of foods. I'm not going to shelter my kids from the world simply because they might make a bad choice when they get older. We talk about food alot, good foods, bad foods, my kids help me cook, they help me garden, they help me feed our animals. They may love to help grow every kind of vegetable and then cook it, but that doesn't mean they'll eat it. I grow radishes for my dh and I'm very proud of them, but I still won't eat them. Personal tastes have some factor in all of this.

I don't shelter DS from anything but he just doesn't recognize certain things as FOOD. Like all those candy bars in the check out aisle of some grocery stores. He looks right past them. When we go to my IL's they are Italian and so there is a lot of cured meats and cheeses and whatnot that I don't allwo DS to eat. He doesn't really even see that as food. It's just stuff on a table.

That being said we went ot a St. Patty's party Tuesaday evening and DS ran over to the food table and scooped up about 20 carrots to eat ignoring all the cupcakes, candy, green dyed cake, cocktail weinies, and the rest of it. All he saw was the carrots.


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## cherimoya (Mar 23, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BarnMomma* 
"cookies" I make occasionaly oatmeal cookies made with fine bran (not flour) and very low "sweet" (agave) factor with lots of nuts and raisins. Ds thinks they're just dandy.

Hi BarnMomma! Can you PM me the recipe to these cookies please? they sound great. I would PM you, but am unable to....


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## railyuh (Jun 29, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **Louise** 
I have not met a toddler that didnt like broccoli carrots and lots of veggies, and I have yet to meet 6 yo that was crazy about veggies.

Then you haven't met my 3 year old









He used to eat peas, broccoli, etc. when he was about, oh maybe 14 months old. Now he won't touch them. He's definitely very picky and will live off of a handful of foods. Every once in a while he'll try something new but 9 times out of 10 that one bite winds up getting spit back out onto his plate.

The things he will almost always accept? Bananas, oranges, strawberries, toast, crackers, chicken breast.

That's pretty much it (of course he will happily accept cookies and other junk food, but we try not to keep that around the house too much so it is usually a treat if we are at someone else's house or something like that). He does love chicken nuggets and fries/potato wedges/etc., but again, that's not something I feed him regularly in meals at home. I don't think he is picky because I was "lazy" or didn't give him a variety of foods since I have done that and continue to do that. He's just picky.

We spent all of last summer with a great CSA and had lots of fresh interesting veggies, and the only thing DS ever tried and continued to eat were the blueberries and strawberries. So in our case, it is certainly not a lack of exposure to other foods. We sit down for dinner and I give him some of each thing I've prepared and he eats what he wants to eat. I don't make him special different dinners or throw nuggets in the micro for him when he doesn't want to eat his peas and broccoli, so he just goes without eating (or eats whatever part of the meal he likes, which is usually chicken or something).


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RunnerDuck* 
I tend to find a child who claims to love fish and broccoli above all else to be just as mind boggling as a child who will eat "nothing" besides chicken nuggets.









My kids like broccoli well enough, but all three of them _love_ salmon - love it. I love it, too. (DH won't touch it.) When I say that I'm making salmon, they react the way some kids do to milkshakes or candy. But...they like sweets, too...


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BarnMomma* 
For the chicken nugget pizza folks, how did your LO get introduced to pizza and nuggets?

I introduced it to them, because in moderation it's not a problem for me. We eat healthy food, we eat crappy food. Everything I put into my body doesn't have to be optimally nutritious or organic/natural for me to consider eating it (or giving it to my kids).

My problem was that I let it creep in too much. I'm the one who wrote the confession above. Since our 'new plan', nary a nugget, fry, or hot dog has crossed their lips. And they've survived.







It doesn't mean they never will again, it's just that they will be the _exception_ now and not the rule.

I mostly come to MDC for the AP







; I'm only moderately NFL...


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## 425lisamarie (Mar 4, 2005)

I started small with new things though, especially with DS who I didn't eat AS diverse as I do now and from the time DD was born.

She loves weird things like straight buttermilk, horseradish, sardines mixed with vegganaise and olives









Everyone seems to have their foods they eat all the time, and things that delight them to see their kids eat. Since we as a family don't cook much ethnic food from the eastern world, I love it, and make it for myself all the time, and they eat mild versions of curry.

When I started making them fish they didn't care much for it. My dad caught a bunch of trout one day and I fried it dredged in cornmeal and flour and they literally ate a tray full.

LIke Alyantavid said, my kids are busy. I enjoy the time they spend at grandma and grandpas and I'm certainly not going to pick at what she maeks them!! She tries very hard, a good cok, not as good at avoiding the things I do, but I appreciate her cooking for us and I'm not going to be a snot. Once my kids got a taste of outside food sure they watn it here and there, but they also ask to have a feast with several different healthy things that most kids wouldn't ask for on purpose. DS asked me last week if we could go buy a squash, so we did. Then we roasted it and he helped smash it with butter and sour cream and ate a giant bowl full and that's all he watned for dinner!


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## HarperRose (Feb 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Valrock* 
I wonder about this.

Are there really kids out there that are this picky? I'm serious... maybe I've been blessed with two children who would rather eat a bowl of steel cut oats with maple syrup than a bowl of lucky charms (shudder lol). But I don't understand this.

They've been eating whole foods since they started eating table food. Yeah, we've had the occasional chicken nugget but they're certainly not a dinner table staple. My four year old says his favorite food is fish on the grill and "trees" (broccoli) LOL.









Is it one of those nature versus nurture debates?

Without reading the thread, yes, there are kids this picky.

My kids have Sensory Processing Disorder, Asperger's Syndrome, Dysgraphia, and ADHD. Due to their SPD, there are precious few things my dd will eat. She wouldn't touch solids (barely nibbled crackers) until I forcibly weaned her at 2y 9m. (Had I known then about her SPD I don't think I'd have done that.)

I don't just let them eat chicken nuggets, though. We do encourage variety and I have found myself working w/in their different needs. They do eat chicken nuggets and other crap food, but dh and I do our best to help them move out of that rigid box.


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## cristeen (Jan 20, 2007)

Well, I shared this story in the junk food thread, and it's just as applicable to this one.

My niece and nephew were raised in a junk food house, and had picky eating modeled for them by their mother. Niece had healthier (unprocessed) eating modeled for her, nephew didn't.

By 4, nephew would choose BBQ oysters, calamari, clams, mussels, etc., over a hamburger any day. But niece would have a full-blown tantrum if the restaurant didn't have spaghetti or hamburgers on the menu. I swear that's what she lived on for years.


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## mistymama (Oct 12, 2004)

I have not read the other responses, so sorry if I'm repeating anything.

But yes, it's possible. Ds has serious sensory issues. As a baby he did not allow any spoon fed foods into his mouth. When he began to finger feed at about a year old he was extremely picky. We eventually noticed he would only eat colorless and bland foods .. like a quesadilla with white cheese, banana, apple slices but would not touch the peel. He was in OT for several years, but survived off PediaSure.









At age 5 he began to eat all of a sudden. And he actually eats very healthy, wholesome choices. Of course I've been offering them all along, but before 5, he wouldn't touch most of it.

To be honest, I would have cried tears of joy back then if he'd eaten a chicken nugget.

So yeah, there are kids that picky out there. It's made me realize I should have never judged or thought I knew what I was talking about. I always thought it's what kids were offered and used to .. ds so changed my mind on that.


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## mistymama (Oct 12, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ruthla* 
Unquestionably, a huge part of much pickiness today is learned behavior. Some parents honestly know nothing about nutrition, others know better but "fall into the trap" with long hours, trying to prevent power struggles, etc. When things are tight, pickiness goes out the window- with "normal healthy" kids. This probably accounts for 95% or more of today's "picky eaters."

But there are still some kids with innate, serious, food issues. When presented with the choice between unpalatable food and starving, most healthy people will choose the unpalatable food -at least if the situation is longterm. Many more would skip a meal in the face of "icky food" but most won't actually let themselves starve. Some kids would actually choose starvation; they are truly incapable of eating certain foods. These are the kids who end up with feeding tubes if there's access to modern medicine, or who may die without it.

Thank you. This is so true. If ds hadn't liked PediaSure, the next step would have been a feeding tube until we got his sensory issues under control and him eating a decent amount of food.

Yes, he would have starved himself and gotten malnutritioned before he put food into his mouth.

People find that hard to believe, but it's true.


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## annakiss (Apr 4, 2003)

My kids are picky and do NOT have sensory issues. Food allergies are not it either though there is a possibility of mild intolerances that present no troublesome symptoms. Their poop is good, their behavior is fine, their brains are good, etc. We eat well enough and have always eaten "ethnic" cuisine. They just choose things that are good to them.

They are fond of nuts, breads (bread, crackers, pasta, pita, waffles, etc.), cheese, beans, rice, lentils, potatoes, carrots, chicken, yogurt, keifer, pesto, and yes, macaroni and cheese (though not homemade with five cheeses, ahem). Is part of that my fault? Possibly. The junk is limited though (at least I like to think so). I like chocolate, they like chocolate. What can I say?

We've never tested to see if they will starve themselves. We just find workable alternatives or negotiate.

I'm a picky eater too and it's not a sensory thing. I think it was the jalapeno my father gave me when I was three. Scarred me for life.

They also will sometimes eat a food and then later decide they don't like it. Fish is like this, as is broccoli. They're terrified of kale, though they'll drink it unwittingly in smoothies.

They would live off PB&J if I let them.


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## riverscout (Dec 22, 2006)

My daughter is probably what most would consider picky in that she eats a limited variety of foods and now at 3 isn't really interested in trying anything new. But she eats mostly healthy whole foods and not junk. She loves plain yogurt with honey and she adores strawberries. She doesn't really care for chicken nuggets and has never had Lucky Charms.









Personally, I think variety is overrated anyway. Humans have never had the kind of variety we have today. People used to only eat the foods that were immediately available in their area be it through hunting and gathering or farming. They ate simple foods and there wasn't something new for dinner every night. Things weren't shipped across the continent or the world. There was little to no outside influence. So basically, I think it is quite normal to not to eat a huge variety of foods.

I see no need to drive my daughter to the brink of starvation to find out if she really won't eat salmon because we don't live somewhere where it is a food staple so it doesn't matter. She will eat local beef and pork so we are all set as far as I am concerned.


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## lucky_mia (Mar 13, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BarnMomma* 

I'm a very big believer that kids will eat what's offered. For the chicken nugget pizza folks, how did your LO get introduced to pizza and nuggets? If it's not an option, they won't eat it. Unless they are driving themselves to the store to buy foood, how else would they develop a taste for such foods? .

I would believe that too if I just had my DS. I woud be patting myself on the back for raising a child who will eat just about any food offered to him and who prefers cucumbers to cake. But I have DD too. She was offered all the same foods. She just seems to have a much more particular taste buds and doesn't care for any mixed items - she likes peas and she likes carrots but doesn't like peas and carrots. She still eats a good variety but isn't likey to try a new food.

Foods like pizza and nuggets get introduced because we go to parties and play dates. We visit friends and go on vacation. I do my best to give them healthy, wholesome food at home, I talk to them about nutrition and how some foods taste good and are good for you and other foods might taste good but don't have vitamins and don't help you grow. Those are somtimes foods as Cookie Monster says. Then I try not to stress about what they have when we are outside the house.


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## Kirsten (Mar 19, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tracyhos* 
I used to think it was just a cop out. Then my 3rd came along. He doesn't like nuggets, but he is insanely picky. He eats healthy; but there are like 10 things he likes. We try to get him to eat other things, and he simply won't do it. He would rather not eat all day than eat something that he doesn't like.

My other 2 are wonderful eaters. There are a few things they don't like, but overall they are great eaters....

Same here! My first two would and do eat almost anything. You can take them to ANY restaurant and they'll eat what we're eating. I was SO proud of myself for parenting so well that they were provided and happily ate so many healthy foods.

Then my third came along... Weirdest thing - she will only eat a handful of items, but they include any raw vegetable (even radishes which I find so spicy hot and awful) AND hot dogs or chicken nuggets. She will NOT eat a bite of pork chop or chicken breast or salmon no matter what you do or don't do.

I am not going to the mat over her odd food issues. She also (like others have mentioned) will go hungry before even trying so much as a bite of something that she thinks she doesn't like.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lucky_mia* 
These nature/nurture debated always make me laugh. I have twins, literally the same environment from conception, fed from the same breasts, introduced to the same foods at the same time, same meals, observed the same parental habits yet....one is picky, one is not.

I take no credit, I take no blame. They came this way.

That is perfect! So, so true. Taking credit for good eaters (like many of us did before a picky eater was born) is silly. Lucky is lucky. Credit it to good parenting if you like, but I believe that although we can make poor choices and lead kids to poor eating habits, some kids are just picky no matter what we do.

I was a VERY picky eater as a kid. PB sandwiches, cold cereal, Campbell's chicken noodle soup, grilled cheese sandwiches on white bread, hamburger patties dipped in ketchup (no bun). Ice cream and cookies of course. That is about it. I now eat almost everything. And I was a very slender kid. My younger sister and brother are both and always were very good eaters, and still are.


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## cherimoya (Mar 23, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kirsten* 

That is perfect! So, so true. Taking credit for good eaters (like many of us did before a picky eater was born) is silly. Lucky is lucky. Credit it to good parenting if you like, but I believe that although we can make poor choices and lead kids to poor eating habits, some kids are just picky no matter what we do.

I was a VERY picky eater as a kid. PB sandwiches, cold cereal, Campbell's chicken noodle soup, grilled cheese sandwiches on white bread, hamburger patties dipped in ketchup (no bun). Ice cream and cookies of course. That is about it. I now eat almost everything. And I was a very slender kid. My younger sister and brother are both and always were very good eaters, and still are.

I agree, there are picky eaters....was the OP about picky eating in general OR about bad-picky eating (I think there is a difference)....and imo if a child is only eating chicken nuggets (i'm assuming the frozen, processed kind) and cheese pizza or canned noodle soup then it's ALL about the options these children got from their parents NOT from being picky. My dd is a picky eater right now, breast-milk, or breast-milk, or grapes, or breast-milk, LOL....I've given her other options but they definitely have not been overly-processed junk from the frozen food section!


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## riverscout (Dec 22, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lucky_mia* 
She just seems to have a much more particular taste buds and doesn't care for any mixed items - she likes peas and she likes carrots but doesn't like peas and carrots.

This reminded me of how I was as a child. I used to drive my poor mother crazy because I wouldn't eat foods that were mixed together or had too many ingredients. She had to separate out items from certain dishes for me before she could finish making it. Like if she was making chili, she would have to separate out some plain beef for me. I wouldn't even eat a PB&J sandwich because there were too many things going on there.









I really don't think my mom made me that way. She did accommodate me, but that was because she wanted me to eat and not be miserable. I don't think it would have gone well if she had turned it into some power struggle. I wouldn't have let myself starve to death, but it would have gotten ugly.


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## onlyzombiecat (Aug 15, 2004)

I think all kids are different and most parents know their kids better than someone else does.
I think these kind of threads never end up with understanding.
I don't think nurture vs. nature arguments go anywhere because it can't really be proved to be true either way for all picky eaters. There are many reasons why one child might be a picky eater and another isn't even in the same family.

I would equate this argument to cio or sleep training. Some people could say "my children went to sleep fine alone so everyone should leave their baby in a crib. It's just a little fussing. All babies will eventually go to sleep if you don't coddle them." Many here would find it highly unacceptable or damaging to follow this practice for their children even though eventually the child would stop crying and go to sleep.

I feel it is as damaging to my child to say "well, she gags on the texture of x food and cries about eating it but it is perfectly healthy so eventually she will eat it if served nothing else. I'll be damned if I ever give her a chicken nugget or macaroni. She'll learn to like oatmeal if it kills us!"

I think most parents of picky eaters do not feed their child processed chicken nuggets or pizza as their first solid food.
I think most parents of picky eaters search constantly for foods their "picky" children will eat and are thrilled that something gets in their bodies.

I personally try to choose the best things my child will willingly eat rather than make it a war. I think having food preferences is pretty natural.


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## LaLaLaLa (Oct 29, 2007)

Ah, right. If only I were a good mother who offered her daughter more choices of well-balanced and delicious foods, she wouldn't be so picky. My fault.

Oh, no, wait. I *do* offer lots of choices. Up until she was two, DD ate everything in sight. Then she gradually stopped a whole slew of foods she used to gobble up. No more peas. Spaghetti sauce. Seafood. Beef of any sort. Cheese of any sort. Yogurt. Beans of any sort. Carrots. Broccoli. Butter. Whipped cream. Applesauce. Jelly. Bananas. Eggs. Sweet potatoes. White potatoes prepared any way. Soup.

Now dd is 4 1/2, and still very picky. She doesn't only eat chicken nuggets, although that is an acceptable food for her. But she also often won't eat what the rest of us are eating for dinner. She eats lots of brown rice, pasta, strawberries, plain chicken, peanut butter, granola, and peppers.

When it comes down to it, we feed her what she'll eat. Why would we have the battle to force her to eat something she finds distasteful, when there are so many other things that need our fighting energy over the course of the day?

I guess it's the smug attitude about eating that gets me. Maybe I get a pass from judgment, because my DD, although picky, eats generally healthy foods. But implying that parents are just lazy or not trying hard enough when their kids are picky is silly and rather offensive.

And, for the record, DS, who is 3 and living in the same environment with the same exposure to food as his sister, eats EVERYTHING. I've never seen him turn down a food of any sort, from hot sauce to all sorts of seafood to vegetables and fruits prepared any way you can think of. There is not a single food he has not yet pronounced "good."

So, back to the original question--in our experience some kids are just pickier. And that doesn't make their moms bad moms, just ones who don't care to have food battles as the central focus of their lives.


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## operamommy (Nov 9, 2004)

I've told this story a bazillion times, I think.
 






When my ds1 was about 2.5 we had a WIC appointment which included a 24 hour record of everything he'd had to eat and drink the day before. The nutritionist, after reading my son's record, was appalled and gave me a rather stern lecture about nutrition. The next time we went in, in addition to listing everything he'd had to eat/drink in the last 24 hours, I listed what had been OFFERED.

The nutritionist apologized to me.









Long story short, I truly believe that some kids are just picky. Ds1 is almost 14 and is still picky. He has a very small variety of foods that he enjoys.

Sadly, I think a lot of parents use eating "well" as a yardstick to measure other parents by.


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## riverscout (Dec 22, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *onlyzombiecat* 
I would equate this argument to cio or sleep training. Some people could say "my children went to sleep fine alone so everyone should leave their baby in a crib. It's just a little fussing. All babies will eventually go to sleep if you don't coddle them." Many here would find it highly unacceptable or damaging to follow this practice for their children even though eventually the child would stop crying and go to sleep.

I feel it is as damaging to my child to say "well, she gags on the texture of x food and cries about eating it but it is perfectly healthy so eventually she will eat it if served nothing else. I'll be damned if I ever give her a chicken nugget or macaroni. She'll learn to like oatmeal if it kills us!"

ITA. I just really cannot imagine trying to make my daughter eat things she doesn't want to/can't. She basically now won't eat vegetables other than occasionally raw carrots despite being offered others. Oh, unless you count homemade pumpkin waffles as a vegetable







:







. What would people who found that unacceptable have me do? Have some kind of showdown a la Mommy Dearest?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LaLaLaLa* 
I guess it's the smug attitude about eating that gets me. Maybe I get a pass from judgment, because my DD, although picky, eats generally healthy foods. But implying that parents are just lazy or not trying hard enough when their kids are picky is silly and rather offensive.









:


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## AliveMama (Mar 20, 2009)

My 2yo has texture issues. She won't eat anything without texture, like yogurt or cheese, or apple sauce. She also has flavor issues. She won't eat anything that's plain or boring.

So she'll eat Thai green curry, but not mashed potatoes.

This isn't normally a problem except that if we offer her something that doesn't meet her need for texture and interesting flavor she just won't eat it. And then what?

If she doesn't eat she gets really cranky. If she doesn't eat she doesn't sleep. If she doesn't eat our lives are hell.

So we have some standbys that she will *always* eat. Nutella on whole wheat toast with generous amounts of butter is a winner. Crappy canned pastas with tangy tomato sauces will also often we accepted.

It sucks, and I definately see that it could lead to problems later, but when we all get home after work/daycare it's not a battle I want to fight. She's offered health food every day, just as it's been since she started on solids. She only gets healthy food at daycare (it was a major selling point of the daycare that they only use whole grains and no prepackaged foods).


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LaLaLaLa* 
And, for the record, DS, who is 3 and living in the same environment with the same exposure to food as his sister, eats EVERYTHING. I've never seen him turn down a food of any sort, from hot sauce to all sorts of seafood to vegetables and fruits prepared any way you can think of. There is not a single food he has not yet pronounced "good."

DS2 has a few, but not many. In general, this little boy will eat _anything_ you give him. (He and dd are both anti-ground beef, though.) He likes spicy. He likes sweet. He likes soft and chewy. He likes hard and crunchy. He likes beef, and pork, and fish, and chicken, and shrimp. He likes greens (eg. spring mix). He loves every fruit I can think of. He likes pretty much everything. DD, despite the same upbringing, and the same exposure to foods, will eat a small fraction of what ds2 will eat.


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

I just want to be crystal clear so I can avoid the Mommy Dearest label, that my kids' pickiness was about 90% manufactured by *me* by stopping offering them the food DH and I were eating. I just didn't have the emotional or physical energy at the end of the day to serve them what we were having, have them refuse it, then have to get up and make more food. I also found that if their plates were overpiled with food they were overwhelmed, so I didn't want to put on both the food we were having and the food they would actually eat. So I just stopped offering the food we were eating, instead of offering it and giving a little nudge back then and seeing if we could get past the pickiness a little more gently in the beginning. *THAT*, IMO was my mistake. Why would they consent to trying new things if they know mom will just cook them something they're sure they like? I think the lightbulb moment for all of us came when I realized, and then told them, that every food they ate didn't have to be their favorite - they could even not like a food, and _still_ eat it. I sometimes eat foods I don't like because DH likes it and it's what is for dinner. DH eats rice every time I make it even though he doesn't like it. Obviously for kids with serious sensory/texture issues, this won't work and would be cruel...but for 2 kids without any sensory issues, that just got into a bad pattern, there's no reason they need to have their favorites every meal, IMO.

This also does not mean that I'm going to make them eat things they genuinely have specific aversions to. DS has never, ever liked ground beef (well, OK, he likes meatballs. But he's never eaten it any other way). So on nights we have meals with ground beef, he can just pick around it and eat the other stuff. DD has tried corn multiple times, and just doesn't like it. No problem, on nights we have corn she can just eat her salad veggies and whatever else we're having. I'm not completely unhinged.









This situation came to be because *I* didn't want to put in the effort to keep offering and work with them gently in the earlier days of them being normally picky, and created SUPER picky kids. Ones who now after just a few days of discomfort are enthusiastically eating meals with us again. Just last night we had homemade calzones; neither of them would have touched one 2 weeks ago. The 5-yo said, "This tastes like a hot ham sandwich!" and the 2-1/2 yo said, "It yike pizza!". They are hardly traumatized, or even inconvenienced at this point.

Anyway, I'm sure there are still members who think I'm horrible for doing it, will liken it to CIO (which cuts to the quick because I am a serious advocate against it) and that's fine I guess, though I feel like I have to parade around all my other AP/GD credentials to stay a part of the club (I breastfed DD to 21 months and babywore until she was 16 months! I've never used a reward system or a time out! We cosleep! I even use a menstrual cup!!







). I'll tell you this, though: Me creating this situation in the first place wasn't doing any of us any favors. The resolution has brought such palpable relief to _everyone_ in the house, that dinnertime is enjoyable again instead of tense. They used to go a little nutty at dinnertime, I think partly because they were feeding off of our tension. That has evaporated. I mean, they're still goofy and we have fun, it's not like we're a Stepford family now. But they aren't acting unruly anymore like they had been.

So anyway, I guess I'm just putting that out there. Believe me, I derived no pleasure from seeing them upset the first few nights...but the place we were was not healthy for any of us, physically or emoitonally, and at the point we were at, I didn't see many options. Gentle offers of food we were eating would have done nothing (we would occasionally verbally offer them both some of our food in the past, which they would always refuse), if I would have kept making the "kid" food every night.

OK, I'll stop with the rationalizations and excuses. Judge me if you will.


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## Amylcd (Jun 16, 2005)

Quote:

I do agree, though, that even a picky child will pick from what's offered.
Having two extremely picky children, I disagree. They have been offered veggies with every meal since they were a year old. They _will not_ eat them. There is less than 10 foods that my oldest daughter will eat. When I decided to "make" her eat other foods by not giving in, she went three days without eating. I was under the impression she would eat if she was hungry enough...but nope. So, if someone says their child will not eat anything but nuggets, I absolutely believe them and I don't assume it is because that is all they are given.


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## riverscout (Dec 22, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *The4OfUs* 
I just want to be crystal clear so I can avoid the Mommy Dearest label, that my kids' pickiness was about 90% manufactured by *me* by stopping offering them the food DH and I were eating. I just didn't have the emotional or physical energy at the end of the day to serve them what we were having, have them refuse it, then have to get up and make more food. I also found that if their plates were overpiled with food they were overwhelmed, so I didn't want to put on both the food we were having and the food they would actually eat. So I just stopped offering the food we were eating, instead of offering it and giving a little nudge back then and seeing if we could get past the pickiness a little more gently in the beginning. *THAT*, IMO was my mistake. Why would they consent to trying new things if they know mom will just cook them something they're sure they like? I think the lightbulb moment for all of us came when I realized, and then told them, that every food they ate didn't have to be their favorite - they could even not like a food, and _still_ eat it. I sometimes eat foods I don't like because DH likes it and it's what is for dinner. DH eats rice every time I make it even though he doesn't like it. Obviously for kids with serious sensory/texture issues, this won't work and would be cruel...but for 2 kids without any sensory issues, that just got into a bad pattern, there's no reason they need to have their favorites every meal, IMO.

This also does not mean that I'm going to make them eat things they genuinely have specific aversions to. DS has never, ever liked ground beef (well, OK, he likes meatballs. But he's never eaten it any other way). So on nights we have meals with ground beef, he can just pick around it and eat the other stuff. DD has tried corn multiple times, and just doesn't like it. No problem, on nights we have corn she can just eat her salad veggies and whatever else we're having. I'm not completely unhinged.









This situation came to be because *I* didn't want to put in the effort to keep offering and work with them gently in the earlier days of them being normally picky, and created SUPER picky kids. Ones who now after just a few days of discomfort are enthusiastically eating meals with us again. Just last night we had homemade calzones; neither of them would have touched one 2 weeks ago. The 5-yo said, "This tastes like a hot ham sandwich!" and the 2-1/2 yo said, "It yike pizza!". They are hardly traumatized, or even inconvenienced at this point.

Anyway, I'm sure there are still members who think I'm horrible for doing it, will liken it to CIO (which cuts to the quick because I am a serious advocate against it) and that's fine I guess, though I feel like I have to parade around all my other AP/GD credentials to stay a part of the club (I breastfed DD to 21 months and babywore until she was 16 months! I've never used a reward system or a time out! We cosleep! I even use a menstrual cup!!







). I'll tell you this, though: Me creating this situation in the first place wasn't doing any of us any favors. The resolution has brought such palpable relief to _everyone_ in the house, that dinnertime is enjoyable again instead of tense. They used to go a little nutty at dinnertime, I think partly because they were feeding off of our tension. That has evaporated. I mean, they're still goofy and we have fun, it's not like we're a Stepford family now. But they aren't acting unruly anymore like they had been.

So anyway, I guess I'm just putting that out there. Believe me, I derived no pleasure from seeing them upset the first few nights...but the place we were was not healthy for any of us, physically or emoitonally, and at the point we were at, I didn't see many options. Gentle offers of food we were eating would have done nothing (we would occasionally verbally offer them both some of our food in the past, which they would always refuse), if I would have kept making the "kid" food every night.

OK, I'll stop with the rationalizations and excuses. Judge me if you will.










Just wanted to clarify my Mommy Dearest comment was not directed at you







. I actually didn't even finish reading your original post until after I posted that question.

It was more just a genuine question for those who do not have picky eaters who are suggesting that there is some kind of quick and easy fix for those of us who do, like "hey no big deal just wait them out and keep offering...that will solve it." Sometimes thing are just not that simple.


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## mistymama (Oct 12, 2004)

No one will be judged here by me, that's for sure. I'm very, very put off by parents who think that because their child chooses a carrot over a cupcake, that it in some way has to do with their superior parenting skills.









And for the record, my extremely picky eater has turned a corner and eats all kinds of foods now. And yes, he's now the kid who will eat carrots over a cupcake! But that in NO WAY has anything to do with me, and I don't take credit for one second. It's just the way HE is.

Mamas who are struggling with a super picky eater ... hang in there. I know how stressful it can be, and how you just want to get something, anything into that little belly. Don't feel judged .. if a parent has never had a seriously picky eater, they just will NOT understand.

I do want to recommend an excellent book called "Just Take a Bite" .. it helped us more than I can say. It dispells the myth that children will eat if hungry enough and goes through all of the steps children need to go through to first tolerate a food on their plate, smell it, and eventually taste or eat it. Then they have exercises and games you can play with your child to help them work through those steps. It's totally non coersive and just an all around great book. I highly recommend it to anyone with an extremely picky eater.


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Amylcd* 
When I decided to "make" her eat other foods by not giving in, she went three days without eating. I was under the impression she would eat if she was hungry enough...but nope. So, if someone says their child will not eat anything but nuggets, I absolutely believe them and I don't assume it is because that is all they are given.


See, this is so different than our situation. My kids did still eat, even during the 3 nights that weren't so fun....so I guess mine weren't really *that* picky, they were just used to being served kid food.







:


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## riverscout (Dec 22, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *The4OfUs* 
See, this is so different than our situation. My kids did still eat, even during the 3 nights that weren't so fun....so I guess mine weren't really *that* picky, they were just used to being served kid food.







:

Yeah, I think there is definitely a difference between kids who will only eat kid food because that is all that is offered to them and they have grown accustom to it than from kids who are truly picky and have real food aversions.

I remember times as a child when certain well-meaning relatives would try and make me eat...like you can't leave the table till you eat something. Unfortunately for me it wasn't just that I didn't like the food, it was that I could not eat it...like it would make me gag and be sick...I couldn't swallow it to save my life. Reminds me of the reactions that people had on that reality tv show that dared people eat weird stuff like raw horse intestines. That's really were my Mommy Dearest reference came from. I swear I almost puked when she kept serving that poor girl that rare steak.

So, basically, I am just not going down that road with my daughter. All I am willing to do is keep offering her various things while still making foods available that she will eat. Eventually I did grow out of my pickiness and now really can eat almost anything. I have little doubt she will do the same. I see no reason to rush her.

Anyway, you found a solution that works for you and your kids and everyone is happier. I think that is great. But it sure wouldn't work for everyone (not saying you said it would but there has been that implication here). I feel I am doing right by my child. It seems some people feel I am doing her a disservice and should be doing something about it, but she is happy and healthy and that's all that matters to me.

ETA - I think I exaggerated when I said I can now eat "almost anything" but compared to when I was a kid it sure seems like it. I am quite adventurous with food, but there are still things that gross me out. I am in awe of Anthony Bourdain.


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## Hey Mama! (Dec 27, 2003)

I have an extremely picky child. She is my first and was ff and had baby food. My other two children were breastfed and I made their babyfood/started out with table food. They will pretty much eat anything I give them. Now, older dd has texture issues and would/will gag herself to throwing up if she eats a food she doesn't "like". But, I contribute a lot of her feeding issues to the way she was fed as a baby. I know it's purely anecdotal so please don't jump all over me, it's just my own personal experience and opinion.

Oh, and she is the type that would rather be hungry and not eat, then eat the meat or whatever it is I put in front of her. I swear this girl will be a vegetarian in a few years, she is practically one now. (well, she calls herself one but she doesn't eat veggies either, I call her a fruitatarian.


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## phatchristy (Jul 6, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Valrock* 
Is it one of those nature versus nurture debates?

Well, I've been the SAME with all of my kiddos, and no matter what my first DC is picky as heck! Not that she wants junk food, but she has particular weird specific ways she likes things.

No cooked carrots, only raw. Some vegetable she'll only eat cooked, some only raw. Won't eat a sandwhich, but will eat all things separately. No soups







. Will only eat certain types of oranges, etc. No juice, but fruit is OK.









So, I make a variety of healthy foods, and she just picks and chooses what she likes from them.

The other kids are weird in the other way, they'll eat practically anything, even spicy foods! Will eat soups, dark leafy greens, pretty much any food that I eat they want to eat. Go figure!

My mom is SUPER picky about her food, I'm kind of wondering if somehow she passed those genes on!


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## WC_hapamama (Sep 19, 2005)

I have an extremely picky three year old. Right now the only veggie he'll eat is peas, and the only meats he'll eat are taco meat (ground beef or turkey with taco seasoning) or chicken nuggets. Thankfully he does eat cheese, yogurt and fruit, and is a total carb fiend. I don't lose too much sleep over it, and just give him a multivitamin. My older kids all went through similar phases at this age. I still offer him the same food everyone else gets, and once in a while he surprises me.

When I make dinner, I rarely offer my kids a second choice (other than a bowl of cereal) if they don't care for what I'm serving. The only time I'll make a second entree is if I'm making something I know they won't like (ie: too spicy).

Making them eat something I know they've tried and don't like isn't a hill I'm willing to die on. I'll still offer it to them if I make it for dinner and I encourage them to try it, but I don't force the issue.


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## laohaire (Nov 2, 2005)

Another mom here who has failed in this way.

I think that what happened in our case was this: DD was exclusively breastfed until I think 13 months, and was also on the very low end of the weight charts (5%). But we'd been offering her food since the prescribed 6 months. She wasn't interested, so at 6 months we let it go. Tried again at 7 months, then 8. Same deal. 9 months, we were starting to worry a bit. 11 months, worried.

At that point we started offering her foods we didn't want her to eat, just in hopes of tempting her to eat. Around 13 months she actually started to seem ready to eat, but we were already offering her junk food at this point.

In retrospect I regret not just letting her be, but I know that if I didn't have the retrospect, I'd do the same again. I'm a first time mom, and I'd already made mistakes (she was extremely jaundiced and not nursing as a newborn and I'm afraid if it hadn't been for luck - as opposed to my own action - she might have been severely damaged or possibly dead). And you have to admit, 13 months is a little late for eating any food.

So today I have a 3yo who eats differently than I do. I don't believe she's ultrapicky by nature. She's willing to eat different kinds of pizza, for example - it doesn't HAVE to be this particular brand or whatever. (Well... on second thought, when I make homemade from-scratch pizza, she only likes the bread part. Sigh). And sometimes I can cajole her to taste this or that, and sometimes (not often, but not THAT rarely either) she might actually like a new food. But all the same, her palate prefers junk food: macaroni and cheese, pizza (mostly the frozen kind), and cereal (special k, rice krispies, cheerios and kix) plus whole fruit which is the one part I'm happy about.

So, yeah, it was my fault. But can I totally blame myself? I don't know, sometimes I do, and sometimes I just throw my hands up in the air.


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## _betsy_ (Jun 29, 2004)

I'm a picky eater, so I have no qaulms about DD1 being a picky eater.

She just can't stand the texture of green veggies. Even the pureed baby food stuff she won't touch. Orange veggies like squash, carrots, sweet potatoes, she's all over. But green beans and peas are only toys, she just can't seem to get them into her mouth without spitting them out. We keep offering them. We keep eting them. Sooner or later she'll try them.

She also doesn't like meats. Chicken she'll sometimes eat, browned ground beef if it's in a sauce, sometimes meatballs, sometimes chicken nuggets. If that's the only way I can get some meat and protein into her, well, then so be it.

But she doesn't have any allergies, developmental issues, or physical problems. She started playing with solids around 7 months and started eating more "meals" around a year, like most babies, I'd wager.


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## riverscout (Dec 22, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *laohaire* 
Another mom here who has failed in this way.

I think that what happened in our case was this: DD was exclusively breastfed until I think 13 months, and was also on the very low end of the weight charts (5%). But we'd been offering her food since the prescribed 6 months. She wasn't interested, so at 6 months we let it go. Tried again at 7 months, then 8. Same deal. 9 months, we were starting to worry a bit. 11 months, worried.

At that point we started offering her foods we didn't want her to eat, just in hopes of tempting her to eat. Around 13 months she actually started to seem ready to eat, but we were already offering her junk food at this point.

In retrospect I regret not just letting her be, but I know that if I didn't have the retrospect, I'd do the same again. I'm a first time mom, and I'd already made mistakes (she was extremely jaundiced and not nursing as a newborn and I'm afraid if it hadn't been for luck - as opposed to my own action - she might have been severely damaged or possibly dead). And you have to admit, 13 months is a little late for eating any food.

So today I have a 3yo who eats differently than I do. I don't believe she's ultrapicky by nature. She's willing to eat different kinds of pizza, for example - it doesn't HAVE to be this particular brand or whatever. (Well... on second thought, when I make homemade from-scratch pizza, she only likes the bread part. Sigh). And sometimes I can cajole her to taste this or that, and sometimes (not often, but not THAT rarely either) she might actually like a new food. But all the same, her palate prefers junk food: macaroni and cheese, pizza (mostly the frozen kind), and cereal (special k, rice krispies, cheerios and kix) plus whole fruit which is the one part I'm happy about.

So, yeah, it was my fault. But can I totally blame myself? I don't know, sometimes I do, and sometimes I just throw my hands up in the air.

So do you think it is your fault that she is picky or that she likes "junk food" (using your term but honestly I don't think anything you listed is that bad) or both? Because FWIW, I think the fact that she wasn't interested in solids till pretty late could be an indication that she might have had some type of innate food aversions hence the pickiness.

Either way, try to be gentle with yourself. It sounds like you were trying to do your best and still are. It's not like you started her out on a steady diet of Pepsi, Dortios, and Hot Pockets because you just could be bothered with taking the time to feed her properly.


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## 2xy (Nov 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **Louise** 
I have not met a toddler that didnt like broccoli carrots and lots of veggies, and I have yet to meet 6 yo that was crazy about veggies.

My kids liked both fruits and veggies when they were small, but they didn't like all of them, or even the same ones.

DS1 looooved green vegetables like peas and green beans, and would eat broccoli. He *hated* applesauce and bananas. He didn't try banana without spitting it out until he was nearly ten years old. The only fruits he would eat as a baby/toddler were peaches, grapes, and dried things like prunes and raisins.

DS2 enjoyed the "sweeter" veggies like squash and carrots, but wouldn't eat any green vegetables and has never met a fruit he doesn't like.

Their tastes haven't changed that much. DS1 loves things like asparagus and brussels sprouts. He likes extremely dark chocolate and black coffee. Bitterness appeals to him. DS2 is a fruitaholic and will only eat raw veggies (salad type) and sauteed green beans with tons of garlic.

I work as a waitress, and I have encountered grade-school aged children who relish vegetables. One girl, about 7 or 8, was absolutely beside herself until she discovered she could have spinach instead of french fries with her burger. She ate all the spinach before even touching the burger. It happens. I see young children happily eating broccoli all the time....and they aren't babies.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *The4OfUs* 
I think the lightbulb moment for all of us came when I realized, and then told them, that every food they ate didn't have to be their favorite - they could even not like a food, and _still_ eat it.

True. Sometimes when my kids occasionally complain about what's for dinner, I tell them to just be happy they have food and someone to cook it for them. I never intentionally make things they hate. Sometimes there's something that three of us likes and one doesn't, and that person is more than welcome to make a sandwich or heat up some soup.


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## laohaire (Nov 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *riverscout* 
So do you think it is your fault that she is picky or that she likes "junk food" (using your term but honestly I don't think anything you listed is that bad) or both? Because FWIW, I think the fact that she wasn't interested in solids till pretty late could be an indication that she might have had some type of innate food aversions hence the pickiness.

Either way, try to be gentle with yourself. It sounds like you were trying to do your best and still are. It's not like you started her out on a steady diet of Pepsi, Dortios, and Hot Pockets because you just could be bothered with taking the time to feed her properly.

I don't think she's that picky - also, I'm of a mind that pickiness, regardless of the actual food choices, is probably largely nature - but yes, I am responsible for feeding DD junk food and therefore I am responsible for the fact that she prefers it (knowing that junk food is specially formulated by coporations to be tempting and addictive to the human palate).

Indeed we all have different opinions on junk food, but everything DD eats (except the fruit) is processed and very limited in food value (all carbs, for example). It's not so much that it would bother me that she eats mac cheese or pizza or cereal as much as that those (along with fruit) are the staples of her diet.

I don't know what to attribute her late start on solids to.

But you're right, thanks







We don't feed her those things because we couldn't be bothered. My cousin's son, now - his mother doesn't like preparing food for him, and I've learned that he eats uncooked hot dogs out of the fridge because she doesn't like to make anything for him







(It's not so extreme that she's starving him, he's of a good weight, but she just has him eat whatever doesn't require any special prep - not that throwing a hot dog in the microwave is all that special... but anyway I digress).

I started the thread in this forum questioning the method of feeding kids junk food so they don't rebel. Overall, I do admit I'm feeling a little better about the whole thing. It sounds like - and this is fairly counterintuitive to me, but hey - the choices we parents make only have SOME effect on the child's choices later. So some kids fed junk food as kids grow up to be health nuts. Some kids don't. Some kids fed healthy stay healthy, others switch to junk food.

The thing I remain angry about is that we live in a society where food is manufactured (as opposed to grown or prepared etc.) for PROFIT - and that leads to a large loss of control by individuals. Parental control over children's eating choices is hugely reduced. And frankly even adult control over what they feed themselves is a little bit reduced - it takes a lot to overcome not only the norm, but also addictions.


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

I love to cook, I love to eat, I love to buy food and visit all sorts of markets, and I think it's perfectly 'normal' for children (and adults) to go through various food needs/stages/phases, and I don't think it's a big deal.

Sometimes my kids have been picky (some more than others) and other times they have eaten pretty much anything. Ime, some toddlers and preschoolers like simple/easy/basic, not overhwleming, and some like intense flavors...and some kids experience all of this. I do think some children find the calming look of a couple of simple nuggets, or a few pieces of pasta on the plates comforting. Some like a little more activity/flare on their plates.

One of mine loves all things spicy, one of mine currently is off fruit, even though dc was an any -kind -of- fruit- lover prior. I'm not worried. I offer more veggies and buy lots of the kimchee the dc does love. One kid used to adore broc, and now does not. One will eat any sort of anything and is always eager to try new foods, but as a toddler preferred raw tofu, and not too much variety for a time. One loved ravioli as a kid, and now isn't a fan. I think sometimes strong flavors bother taste buds at certain points, which is why sweet potatoes are often preferred over kale, or grapes over tomatoes.

I think it's great to offer, and it certainly makes my cooking life more interesting and satisfying, but I think it's fine if they say no. If you think it's an important food, keep offering and it will become more familiar. I don't do food fights, and since we have no food allergies, I've never been worried about any food encountered at parties, potlucks, hsing events, school events etc. They can try and eat whatever they want, however much or little they want. Sometimes the choices wouldn't be ones I'd make for them, but there have never been any negative ramifications. It's just not a big deal.

I've never talked about good foods/bad foods, but I do talk in terms of 'growing foods' and body needs. My chidlren, fi, do not have sugar issues. If they get cranky or overhwlemed at times at parties, it's not been from sugar, but from too little protein and overstimulation. For things like Halloween, I've always made sure to make a high protein meal I know they like. It has always kept meltdowns at bay. That said, some children do have food allergies and one has to be careful with that. I am grateful we haven't had that as an issue.

One thing-- I don't get the pizza hate. We love pizza. All kinds; with cheese, without cheese, whole grain flour, white floor, veggies, no veggies, suace,. no sauce. What's the problem?







:


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## Dr.Worm (Nov 20, 2001)

LOL I just keep picturing the commercial for Hidden Valley ranch dressing where all the kids are running around eating vegetables like they're junk food.


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## diascia (Oct 3, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dr.Worm* 
LOL I just keep picturing the commercial for Hidden Valley ranch dressing where all the kids are running around eating vegetables like they're junk food.










Love it!


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dr.Worm* 
LOL I just keep picturing the commercial for Hidden Valley ranch dressing where all the kids are running around eating vegetables like they're junk food.

LOL I haven't tried that one, but I love a good dressing! I'll even admit to liking a nice cheese or cream sauce at times.







:


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## 425lisamarie (Mar 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *UUMom* 
I love to cook, I love to eat, I love to buy food and visit all sorts of markets, and I think it's perfectly 'normal' for children (and adults) to go through various food needs/stages/phases, and I don't think it's a big deal.

Sometimes my kids have been picky (some more than others) and other times they have eaten pretty much anything. Ime, some toddlers and preschoolers like simple/easy/basic, not overhwleming, and some like intense flavors...and some kids experience all of this. I do think some children find the calming look of a couple of simple nuggets, or a few pieces of pasta on the plates comforting. Some like a little more activity/flare on their plates.

One of mine loves all things spicy, one of mine currently is off fruit, even though dc was an any kind of fruit lover prior. I'm not worried. I offer more veggies and buy lots of the kimmchee the dc does love. One kid used to adore broc, and now does not. One will eat any sort of anything and is always eager to try new foods, but as a toddler prefered raw tofu and not too much variety for a time. One loved ravioli as a kid and now isn't a fan. I think sometimes strong flavors bother taste buds at certain points, which is why sweet potatoes are often preferred over kale, or grapes over tomatoes.

I think it's great to offer, and it certainly makes my cooking life more interesting and satisying, but I think it's fine if they say no. If you think it's an important food, keep offering and it will become more familiar. I don't do food fights, and since we have no food allergies, I've never been worried about any food encountered at parties, potlucks, hsing events, school events etc. They can try and eat whatever they want, however much or little they want. Sometimes the choices wouldn't be ones I'd make for them, but there have never been any negative ramifications. It's just not a big deal.

I've never talked about good foods/bad foods, but I do talk in terms of 'growing foods' and body needs. My chidlren, fi, do not have sugar issues. If they get cranky or overhwlemed at times at parties, it's not been from sugar, but from too little protein and overstimulation. For things like Halloween, I've always made sure to make a high protein meal I know they like. It has always kept meltdowns at bay. That said, some children do have food allergies and one has to be careful with that. I am grateful we haven't had that as an issue.

One thing-- I don't get the pizza hate. We love pizza. All kinds; with cheese, without cheese, whole grain flour, white floor, veggies, no veggies, suace,. no sauce. What's the problem?







:

Yes to everything you said. I don't get the huge thing about food being to blame for everything. Or the fuss about everyone wanting something different. I have a strange diet, eating mostly vegan, my kids eat everything and DH is a bit picky and wants everything spicy with garlic onions mushrooms and chicken







. I don't think my kids are "picky" though I could list you a hundred things they wouldn't/don't like. Same for my DH, and he was raised in a communist country with very little so they had NO choice but to eat what was there because they had pennies a day. None of them remember ever complaining or not eating. They did eat simple and what was around them though, no sudden knew and strange foods, just familiar grown in the country food. Obviously now he's able to pick to not eat the things he doesn't LOVE.

I LOVE food. When I sit down I have to LOVE what I'm eating. I talk to my kids the day before about dinner the next day. SOmetimes they pick something different, we all decide on a couple things the same unless it's possible for me to make all different meals which I do a lot of the time. And usually they end up trying a little of whatever the other person is eating anyways! Saturdays is at grama and gramps house, and my moms a good cook and totally caters to them (I love her to pieces). Not as good at reading food labels but whatever, her intentions are perfect. Sundays are feast day at home as they call it, and I usually make a couple little dishes th at are different, and make sure they still have lots to eat that is familiar. I don't make them, but yeah I coax a little to try something knew, they know they can sneak to the trash if it's so repulsive they have spit









Like UUmom said about protein, I think that goes for my kids too. They can have junk all day as long as they eat an egg or a sandwich in the am (not that we eat junk all day)

There are so many angles here, with food supply, allergies and what have you....the thing that gets me is the fact that it seems the cook takes it so personally that everyone in the world needs to eat everything in the world.


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## Mere (Oct 1, 2002)

My ds1 has major food issues. I couldn't tell you exactly what those issues are, but I can tell you that he only eats 15-20 kinds of food TOTAL. Luckily, my sanity on this issue is saved by the fact that my other two dcs eat pretty much everything.

If I served chicken nuggets every day for breakfast, lunch and dinner ds1 would be the best eater in the world, and he would never get tired of them (I know this because during one vacation he actually did eat only chicken nuggets and yogurt for 7 days in a row). At home though, chicken nuggets are not an option. He is always served dinner, but rarely eats it. I don't cook him anything else though, so most nights he eats a handful of raw almonds and a carrot. The rest of the time he seems to get by quite nicely on fruit (fresh and dried), nuts, cheese, raw milk, and smoothies. There's little variety in his diet, he never gets tired of his few chosen foods, and he never gets sick. So, who knows? I can only assume that someday he'll outgrow it!


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *laohaire* 
It sounds like - and this is fairly counterintuitive to me, but hey - the choices we parents make only have SOME effect on the child's choices later. So some kids fed junk food as kids grow up to be health nuts. Some kids don't. Some kids fed healthy stay healthy, others switch to junk food.

Yeah. I fed ds1 very well, for the most part. I was really broke when he was little and tried to get as much bang for my buck, speaking from a nutrition standpoint, as I could. We had a few Michelina's meals, which wasn't great, but that was our _only_ junk. He loved raw veggies, and fruit, and chicken breasts, and brown rice and whole wheat bread, and really didn't have a sweet tooth (never finished an Easter basket or Halloween candy before the age of 10 or 11, for example - he'd just forget about it). That said...he's now 16. He'd live on pop, if we let him. He loves candy bars and potato chips and thinks those three things are actual food groups (okay - not quite, but just about). He's become a junkaholic, and is kind of annoyed that the schools have banned candy and pop in vending machines. (They still have vending machines, but they contain a much more limited range of foods, and have added bagged carrot sticks, "Milk 2 Go" and other actual foods.) The cafeteria doesn't sell french fries or doughnuts, anymore. As a parent, I'm pleased. I'm doubly pleased, because the schools have been sending home condescending notes to parents about making sure we feed our children a wholesome diet, while simultaneously selling those same children junk, for a long time. DS1, my former sweet tooth lacking, healthy food loving, son is _not_ happy about the restriction on his access to...crap...

However, he does also like Indian and Thai food, and is still willing to eat the veggies and salads and chicken and such, so I guess I can't complain too much.


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## JaneSmith1010 (Apr 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
I know one mom who has a list of foods that "we" don't like, and it's probably about a meter long, if it were written down in 12 point font. On that list are most vegetables, mangoes, fish and whole wheat bread. Two of her sons have happily eaten sandwiches on whole wheat at my house. They both _love_ mangoes. We gave one of the boys a 1lb. box of spring mix as a semi-gag Christmas present (he got another gift, too) and his face lit up like the Christmas tree. I made stuffed sole for another boy, and he gulped up about six pieces, and asked me to invite him for that again. If the oldest is here and we're having fish, he seems fine with it. At birthday parties, all four kids flock on the cut veggie tray the way some kids would on ice cream or candy. So...I don't know what she's on about, but those kids aren't even remotely eating the way she claims they do...

Absolutely. A family member and his wife have abhorrant dietary habits and 'the kids' don't like anything healthy. their house never has a fruit or vegetable or unprocessed food in it. somehow though, when they come to our house and all they are presented are grapes, a veggie tray, fresh roasted turkey, cauliflower..........you get it....they eat like horses. yet their mom complains that she cannot get them to eat at home. So you are right, that many times the 'we' don't like that schpiel is mom and/or dad doesn't like that and doesn't want to buy/cook it.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jhow32000* 
Absolutely. A family member and his wife have abhorrant dietary habits and 'the kids' don't like anything healthy. their house never has a fruit or vegetable or unprocessed food in it. somehow though, when they come to our house and all they are presented are grapes, a veggie tray, fresh roasted turkey, cauliflower..........you get it....they eat like horses. yet their mom complains that she cannot get them to eat at home. So you are right, that many times the 'we' don't like that schpiel is mom and/or dad doesn't like that and doesn't want to buy/cook it.

I actually had an epiphany about her kids a few years ago. We took the oldest along with us on a family vacation for 10 days (he's a relative). All four of her kids are on the large side, and the oldest absolutely has disordered eating (as in, I've seen him eat himself to puking on multiple occasions, although not for a few years). The oldest wasn't eating as much as he usually does...and I suddenly that the reason for that is that he really is hungry all the time, and that's why he eats so much. But, he's hungry for _nutrients_. His body is driving him to eat, because he needs vitamins and minerals and protein...but what he's _getting_ is lots and lots of calories, mostly in the form of simple carbs. He does have emotional issues with food, but he's also genuinely hungry - just not for carbs, which is most of what he has access to.


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## poiyt (Jul 6, 2008)

As far as the eating at other people's houses....I honestly think thats a kid thing. My daughter will not touch dried cherries (for example) at home, but if someone else in another house gives them to her - she eats cups and cups of them. Its like its something completely different when its not the parents offering, and not at home.


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## crystalalene (Feb 6, 2007)

Well, I have one of those kids.

My 4yo dd is really sensitive to a whole list of things, that I am working on figuring out right now. It is hard to sort out what is going on:
- Is it because chicken nuggets used to be a sort of 'treat'?
- Is it because we've just discovered we can't handle gluten?
- Is it because I didn't try to offer more variety when she was one or two years old?
- Is it because she is picky about the texture?
... And so on.

Recently she'll only eat bread (gluten free) and butter but I am also weaning us from dairy, for a variety of reasons. For a while, since her digestion and mood were so tied to food, I tried even letting her eat whatever she wanted, trying to trust that she knew better what she needed. Well, she just ate o-cereal and bread. So we started to add in a protein of her choice. This is usually chicken nuggets--I have to find gluten free and if I make them they don't 'look' the same so I am using frozen.

It is trying my patience







but I know she'll figure it out. I was also a picky eater as a kid and survived (literally) on cheerios and raisins. Now I realize that it probably was not good for me with all the wheat but my mom didn't know any better. I feel as though if I 'force' unfamiliar foods on her that she doesn't like, she'll just be resentful and dis-empowered







.

And her sister is not at all like her, so I know it has more to do with each individual kid. The 1yo will eat just about anything and inhales it!


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## lucky_mia (Mar 13, 2007)

To answer the original question, I think what happens is first you serve the healthiest version of an item and then if it is rejected, you go to the next level

plain, organic yogurt with fresh fruit
plain, organic yogurt with fruit on the side
vanilla organic yogurt
conventional yogurt
Trix yogurt with sprinkles

I think for most parents this is what happens and each family has their own stopping point based on their own values and how desperate they are to get the child to eat and various family circumstances. My kids eat the chicken nuggets I prepare so I don't buy frozen but if they didn't eat mine, I might get what I consider the next best thing, yk. I think if your child eats the plain yogurt with the fresh fruit mixed in, you can't fathom why other kids wouldn't do it.


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## TexasG (Feb 12, 2009)

This is a big one for me. My son started gagging on carrots at age 2, when just before, he loved them. From there it got worse, he would hardly eat anything, and my mom stopped at burger king several times without my knowledge and got him nuggets--one food he decided he would eat. We struggled to get him to eat anything. He would have rather just had his milk and not eat for 5 years if i had let him. He was not one of thiose kids that would eventually eat--I mean it--he would just not eat. So a lot of times, I did give in and give him the occasional nugget, but only out of fear that he would not learn to chew! He had a lot of time with constipation (as would anyone that mostly lived on milk alone!) and his doctor at the time gave us a recipe for BM cookies that were supposed to really help. But there was no way he would even try the cookies, and I don't think she believed me! I guess she had never seen a child refuse a cookie! It was a long hard struggle to get him to eat anything, much less healthy foods, but when he turned 6 it seemed like something changed and he started to try new things and now at 9 he loves carrots and will even eat luttuce willingly. I think that there are some children that are naturally picky.


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## Viola (Feb 1, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dr.Worm* 
LOL I just keep picturing the commercial for Hidden Valley ranch dressing where all the kids are running around eating vegetables like they're junk food.

My picky eater will eat a lot more vegetables when I make the Hidden Valley Ranch dressing from the packet. But it's MSG, and I can't find any natural dressings that she likes, so I just keep giving her raw cauliflower--the one vegetable she says she likes it--and telling her just to learn to eat it without the dressing, it's not as tasty, but it's for health. I guess that's not a good idea, but she's almost 10 and getting obsessed with her weight, and I've told her that I eat things because I think they are healthy, not because I really like them that much, which might be part of the problem right there, I guess. She usually will take a bite or two of it, but on Friday her lunch came back with the cauliflower and clementine uneaten. She ate the sandwich (with a nitrate cured pepperoni) and the yogurt--Trader Joe's brand, not "natural" but no artificial colors or HFCS.

I was just not enough of a hard ass in keeping her from foods so she wouldn't get to experience them. Honestly, that was my plan, but when she was young I let her self select and try some not so great foods. She didn't seem to like them, so I thought we were good. But she comes across foods at various parties or schools or friends houses, stuff I don't buy or have bought once or twice, like Doritos. And, yes, she has asked very specifically that she be allowed that specific food, and asked if she could use birthday money, or if she is allowed to have a treat that I would go to the store and buy her that thing. Since those foods aren't totally out of the question, in my mind, I figure she can have them once in awhile and it not be a problem. So clearly I've opened the door, but I figure she's going to have to figure this out for herself one day.

I used to have talks with her about the health consequences, and my kids will ask me if a food is healthy, and I tell them what is good and not so good about any particular food. For awhile when I tried the health argument, my daughter would argue right back. There she was at 5 saying, "I don't CARE about diabetes, that is what YOU care about."









I have known children who were very anxious about what they could eat, and would bring a food up to their mother and ask about it. In one case I had brought some honey wheat pretzels to the park, and the little girl wanted some, so asked me to show the package to her mother. The mother read the label said in a nice tone of voice that since they had sugar in them (in the form of honey), she couldn't have them. The kids were always on the look out for hidden sugar, and when we went to birthday party, the mother brought her own "cake" for them. The thing is, she was always so calm, and they just went right along with it, even if they didn't like it, and it was clear they weren't too happy about, but they complied. If my kids don't like what I'm saying, they will argue with me, and my daughter will ask very pointed questions, and I answer them honestly and then more arguments ensue. I remember driving down the road one day when she realized her seatbelt wasn't buckled in her booster seat. So I pulled over to buckle her and I heard this little voice ask, "Why am I not dead, since my seatbelt wasn't buckled?" And I laughed when I realized I had so impressed upon her the importance of being in the seatbelt that she thought it meant certain death. That's kind of the way these kids were with sugar, and it works for awhile, but eventually they make their own observations, draw their own conclusions, and become jaded about what their parents say if they feel their parents are just sounding an alarm.


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## williamsmommy2002 (Feb 25, 2003)

I have 2 kids with autism and sensory issues. My oldest also has to deal with multiple allergies. At a very young age he could only eat a few foods because of them. He's outgrown many of his allergies but his sensory issues are **** there. We are fortunate that many of the things he does eat are healthy. At one point he was down to about 6 foods that he would eat. my youngest is at about 10 foods right now. Many of them are healthy-ish but he won't eat fruits or vegetables due to sensory stuff.

My oldest goes through phases of only eating one main food for a few weeks until he moves on to another. He will starve himself if acceptable food is not available. Seriously, i've tried and given in after he didn't eat for way too long. At 6 he barely hit 40lbs.


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## earthmama369 (Jul 29, 2005)

In addition to kids who are just conservative by nature or have sensory/feeding issues, I do think there is a developmental phase that kids go through where parents have a chance to encourage healthy attitudes toward eating choices.

DD ate enthusiastically from the first time she had solid food -- at 5.5 months old when, much to my chagrin and the destruction of my carefully-laid first-time-parent plans -- she took matters into her own hands and faceplanted in my bowl of Spanish rice at lunch. At a year, she would outeat four other agemates combined! Whatever they had, she would eat and keep going. And she was smaller than all of them! By three, we were old hands at dealing with comments about how wide a range of food she would eat. Sushi was a huge favorite, as was pizza. She liked all the veggies, all the fruits, stinky cheese, briny olives, seafood, nuts.... You name it, she'd try it, and chances are she'd like it.

Then she turned 4. All of a sudden she is the pickiest eater. Something she liked yesterday she won't like today. There's no predicting it. She's picks at her food and eats less than a bird. And she is ADAMANT about her food choices. I believe (hope, pray) this is a phase and that her previous three years of eating preferences is really her base "food personality."

This is where I suspect parents have a real choice. If I restrict her diet now to only what she says she is willing to eat and fully cater to the phase, I have a feeling I could end up with a nuggets-only girl. Habits can be very strong and self-reinforcing. I don't want her to starve. And I don't want to get involved in a power struggle over food. What I really want is for her to get through this phase and get back to her usual enthusiasm. I really, really want her younger brother to stop mimicking her, because right now, left to his own devices, he's got a pretty wide range of food preferences.

I'll let you know if this works, because she's our oldest and we're really feeling our way here, but this is what we're doing. She is welcome to her feelings about what we're serving, but we need her to be polite about it. I don't want to hear, "Yuck! I don't like this!" Saying "No thank you, I'm not in the mood for mushrooms right now" is fine. However, I get one meal a day where nothing negative is said. She doesn't have to eat it, but I really think her brother needs a break from the constant negativity toward food. We always serve meals with more than one component and we'd really like her to eat at least one thing, her choice, and we involve her in the meal prep and food choices when we can so there will be something she's in the mood for. At breakfast and lunch, if she changes her mind at the last minute and decides not to eat what she helped choose, it comes back at the next meal. At dinner, she has the option of making herself a multigrain peanut butter sandwich. And while she's in her picky phase, her access to nutritionally empty snacks and sugary treats is severely limited. If she's not going to eat much, that's her choice, but what she does eat needs to be healthful, and that's our choice.


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## Viola (Feb 1, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BarnMomma* 
I'm a very big believer that kids will eat what's offered. For the chicken nugget pizza folks, how did your LO get introduced to pizza and nuggets? If it's not an option, they won't eat it. Unless they are driving themselves to the store to buy foood, how else would they develop a taste for such foods?

The mom who started this thread said that they have the occasional chicken nugget, but they are not a dinner time staple. So I figured the discussion was not specifically limited to people who never allow their children to be exposed to other foods at friend's homes, school, restaurants, parties, other relatives homes, etc.


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## Viola (Feb 1, 2002)

Oh, I meant to add in one of my other posts, that there is also the super taster thing. My husband is most likely a super taster. I am not. Even if I hate a food, I can usually revisit it and eat it. I can eat it even if I don't like it very much. My husband can't even stand to be in the same room with a food he despises.


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## annakiss (Apr 4, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *earthmama369* 
This is where I suspect parents have a real choice. If I restrict her diet now to only what she says she is willing to eat and fully cater to the phase, I have a feeling I could end up with a nuggets-only girl. Habits can be very strong and self-reinforcing. I don't want her to starve. And I don't want to get involved in a power struggle over food. What I really want is for her to get through this phase and get back to her usual enthusiasm. I really, really want her younger brother to stop mimicking her, because right now, left to his own devices, he's got a pretty wide range of food preferences.

I'll let you know if this works, because she's our oldest and we're really feeling our way here, but this is what we're doing. She is welcome to her feelings about what we're serving, but we need her to be polite about it. I don't want to hear, "Yuck! I don't like this!" Saying "No thank you, I'm not in the mood for mushrooms right now" is fine. However, I get one meal a day where nothing negative is said. She doesn't have to eat it, but I really think her brother needs a break from the constant negativity toward food. We always serve meals with more than one component and we'd really like her to eat at least one thing, her choice, and we involve her in the meal prep and food choices when we can so there will be something she's in the mood for. At breakfast and lunch, if she changes her mind at the last minute and decides not to eat what she helped choose, it comes back at the next meal. At dinner, she has the option of making herself a multigrain peanut butter sandwich. And while she's in her picky phase, her access to nutritionally empty snacks and sugary treats is severely limited. If she's not going to eat much, that's her choice, but what she does eat needs to be healthful, and that's our choice.

I'm not into controlling my kids this much. It'd just be a battle. We make good food choices for them as best we can, but the occasional cookies haven't entirely disappeared just because DS1 has been picky for the last 5 years. We're involved with the local foods movement, eat almost entirely organic, whole foods, and have never let up on variety, but still, I have no interest in dictating their food choices down to the letter. We sneak things in, give a multivitamin and worry about other, more pressing things.


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## Dreaming (Feb 8, 2004)

My oldest was picky and now she's come around to at least tasting things she suspects are gross. She eats a wonderful variety of food thank goodness (green food even).
My littlest was once an adventurous eater. Now he eats a small rotation of things willingly (I say that because I sneak things into smoothies







). Everything else is "yucky". I am just happy he's still nursing and hope he will move through this phase quickly.


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annakiss* 
I'm not into controlling my kids this much. It'd just be a battle.

<snip>

We sneak things in, give a multivitamin and worry about other, more pressing things.

See, now maybe this makes me even weirder than I already seem on this thread, but I just don't feel good about the "sneaky chef" kind of thing. I'm not singling you out annakiss, because others have mentioned it and I know there are entire books about it as a topic. So I'm aparently in the minority about this. I just reeeeeeallly don't like sneakiness or hiding things, I guess including in food. It's the "I know you wouldn't eat this in its normal form, but you're going to anyway cause I hid it in there, joke's on you!" vibe I get from it. It feels like tricking the kids instead of being direct with them, and I'm apparently sensitive to that. Sneaking/hiding/tricking seems pretty controlling to me, IMO. Just in a more subtle, less up front way.

To each his/her own, though, clearly!


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Viola* 
Oh, I meant to add in one of my other posts, that there is also the super taster thing. My husband is most likely a super taster. I am not. Even if I hate a food, I can usually revisit it and eat it. I can eat it even if I don't like it very much. My husband can't even stand to be in the same room with a food he despises.

I have no idea if I'm a super taster (I doub it), but I have _real_ trouble with foods I don't like. DH can sit down at a meal that he doesn't like, and eat the whole thing, to be polite. I start feeling really gross if I have even a couple of mouthfuls of foods I don't like (the three biggies being most meat fat, chicken skin and mushrooms). It just makes me feel awful.


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## burke-a-bee (Jan 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Llyra* 
I think some kids are just picky. That said, though, they'll "pick" from what they are offered. My DD1 had a VERY limited diet up until only about a month ago. She's never really been offered junk food, but she did have a list of about four things she'd eat, and that was it. For her, it was peaches, yogurt, pasta, and peas, (and sometimes chicken, if it had no skin, no browned or blackened parts, and no sauce or seasoning at all), which isn't a bad spread, all things considered. But that was ALL she'd eat. If it wasn't offered, she'd wait. Patiently. She'd wait DAYS, and then when she finally had access to those foods, she'd eat as much as she could hold. We haven't given up, and lately she's branching out more, but I certainly deny that it's anything I did or left undone that made her so picky-- we eat a staggering variety of wonderfully nourishing foods in this house. Also, my other two aren't like that-- they eat tiny amounts, but they'll try anything.

Some kids are just conservative when it comes to food.









: That is my oldest. He will only eat certain bread, yogurt, cheese, etc. He will go without food if it isn't one of the 10 things he will eat. It isn't like a variety isn't on the table because his siblings will eat and try new foods.


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## annakiss (Apr 4, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *The4OfUs* 
See, now maybe this makes me even weirder than I already seem on this thread, but I just don't feel good about the "sneaky chef" kind of thing. I'm not singling you out annakiss, because others have mentioned it and I know there are entire books about it as a topic. So I'm aparently in the minority about this. I just reeeeeeallly don't like sneakiness or hiding things, I guess including in food. It's the "I know you wouldn't eat this in its normal form, but you're going to anyway cause I hid it in there, joke's on you!" vibe I get from it. It feels like tricking the kids instead of being direct with them, and I'm apparently sensitive to that. Sneaking/hiding/tricking seems pretty controlling to me, IMO. Just in a more subtle, less up front way.

Hmmm... I don't think of it that way at all. I look at it as fortifying whatever it is we're making. My kids don't know or ask all the ingredients of everything we make. Adding raw kale is just how I make smoothies.







:


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annakiss* 
Hmmm... I don't think of it that way at all. I look at it as fortifying whatever it is we're making. My kids don't know or ask all the ingredients of everything we make. Adding raw kale is just how I make smoothies.







:

Ah, see - I wouldn't be able to get away with that, they're almost always in the kitchen with me asking what I'm doing, what's that thing, what does that do, can I pour that in, can I measure that, can I taste that raw flour, can I bite that uncooked potato, can you eat baking powder, why can't I put my hand in the sugar conister, why are you putting eggs in that....
















I wonder if they knew the added foods if they'd still want to have them though they taste the same as before?


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## EviesMom (Nov 30, 2004)

I don't think that picky eaters are really made picky by what their parents serve, although they will become picky around what you normally serve. My DD will eat LOTS of things.

However, she will not eat anything with sauce. Fine with me, because I generally don't like sauces either. That whole "kids love things they can dip" concept? Not me as a child, and not DD either. She likes to dip french fries in ketchup. But she won't eat them that way! (I wouldn't eat them with ketchup until college, and I still don't like them that way. I'll just tolerate it if it's a group dish or if my cute kid has proudly dipped it "for you, Mama!") She hates anything with tomato. (So did I as a kid). Not that we do lots fries anyhow. Ranch dressing? NEVER!

I remember going to a salad bar at a restaurant and people were shocked that she wanted little mozarella cheese balls, broccoli, chickpeas, shredded carrots, etc. etc etc. She will NOT touch anything leafy though. She will not eat anything with salad dressing. She is just beginning to eat the skin on apples, etc. She would not eat any of those things in a chunky soup (any soup must be "carrot" soup, be pureed, and taste like carrot, whatever else may be in it; that whole "chicken noodle soup" thing that kids are supposed to like, or the alphabet soup, no, mine wants alphabet pasta, with olive oil, and then some veggies please, but they better not touch!) She did not like sandwiches of any kind (although she liked hummus, or peanut butter, on a spoon).

You could say that I didn't serve her tomato sauce enough, or ketchup, or salad dressing, or whatever. I think it's a matter of most kids going through a picky stage and what is familiar whether chicken nuggets or chickpeas becomes a staple. I think many kids go through a stage where they don't want things to touch or they don't want things mixed up together--sandwiches, soups, etc. You can cater to it all the time, or some of the time, or none of the time.

Tonight I made penne. DH had jarred vodka sauce, lots of it. I had jarred marinara sauce, just a bit (I usually have olive oil, fresh herbs, and parmesan; I eat tomato sauce maybe 1/month or less). DD had olive oil, pepper, and parmesan. It's not much harder to do the 3 toppings, so I do them. But I keep our meals as similar as possible while accomodating everyone's tastes. I wouldn't do a PBJ or mac n cheese or mock chicken nuggets while DH and I have something else.


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## annakiss (Apr 4, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *The4OfUs* 
Ah, see - I wouldn't be able to get away with that, they're almost always in the kitchen with me asking what I'm doing, what's that thing, what does that do, can I pour that in, can I measure that, can I taste that raw flour, can I bite that uncooked potato, can you eat baking powder, why can't I put my hand in the sugar conister, why are you putting eggs in that....
















I wonder if they knew the added foods if they'd still want to have them though they taste the same as before?

No, they woudn't necessarily, and they've protested before, but I remind them that this is how they always drink it and make sure they still like it. I hate when smoothie gets wasted. My oldest now knows that that's how smoothies are made and is okay with it. We don't force him to eat kale in other things and while I do hate when smoothies get wasted, if they don't like it, they won't eat it and I understand that. Sometimes my calculations get a bit off!


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## Katzchen (Aug 13, 2007)

I have to say that as a mom of a very picky eater, many of the post in this thread were hurtful.

My oldest son will be three in a few weeks. When he was a baby I made all of his baby food. He loved all the veggies. As a toddler he ate what I did, lots of ethnic food-- kimchi, Indian curries, Mole, Gallo Pinto. He loved anything with beans or spinach in it.

Somewhere around 2.5 he became very picky. We kept offering our normal, healthy diet and he kept refusing. Then he started losing weight. He won't eat any vegetables, unbreaded meat, rice, most pasta or anything with the slightest hint of spice in it.

So we resorted to "junk" food. Chicken nuggets, waffles, fish sticks, macaroni and cheese. He still eats some healthy food too, mainly fruit, cheese and yogurt and we still offer the foods he doesn't eat. I'm not really at a point where I can be picky about what he eats, I just want him to eat!

I guess what I'm trying to say is it is really easy to be smug about your "great parenting" when you have a good eater, but please don't judge those of us who would give our picky kid a chicken nugget rather than ignore their needs when they are crying that they are hungry at two in the morning because they refused all but a handful of the healthy foods that you offered them throughout the day.


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

Kate, over the years I've known plenty of kids who were comforted in childhood by certain 'plain' foods, but who went on to being very interested in other foods. My oldest is 20, and some of his friends who were 'plain' foodies as tots, can now as young adults scraf down the nori rolls and Thai sutff with the best of them. It's not something I'd worry about. Exposure to food is just as important as eating it. You eat what you like and offer. The end.


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## EviesMom (Nov 30, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Katzchen* 
So we resorted to "junk" food. Chicken nuggets, waffles, fish sticks, macaroni and cheese. He still eats some healthy food too, mainly fruit, cheese and yogurt and we still offer the foods he doesn't eat. I'm not really at a point where I can be picky about what he eats, I just want him to eat!

But what do you think picky kids 100 years ago ate instead of chicken nuggets? I'm sure there was something their parents disapproved of just as highly. Picky is normal, what picky means the child will/does eat is due to culture and parent willingness to provide it. It's a pretty normal stage many kids go through, and I don't think a little while of eating sub-optimal food of whatever type is going to have a lasting impact. I'm sure you're doing fine; you offer other choices, and he will go back to them someday.


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *EviesMom* 
But what do you think picky kids 100 years ago ate instead of chicken nuggets? I'm sure there was something their parents disapproved of just as highly. Picky is normal, what picky means the child will/does eat is due to culture and parent willingness to provide it. It's a pretty normal stage many kids go through, and I don't think a little while of eating sub-optimal food of whatever type is going to have a lasting impact. I'm sure you're doing fine; you offer other choices, and he will go back to them someday.

Yeah. Lots of older babes go through periods where they inhale foods like broc and kale and red bell peppers, and some of them do become older toddlers who look at the riot on their plate and go "Woah...not sure". A lot of toddlers go through periods where bland foods seem more comforting/soothing. The world is crazy-new unpredictable when you're newly discovering it. It might be the nervous system can only handle so much at a time.

A 2 or 4 or 6 yr old or 15 yr old who is a bit picky about simplicity on the plate doesn't 100% become the same sort of eater later. I've seem so many variations on the toddler food theme, and I believe that food arguments/food guilt etc does more harm than calmly letting a food phase pass without much fanfare would. An emotional negative association with food is hard to overcome.


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## annakiss (Apr 4, 2003)

Fo reals, y'all. ^^^


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## bmcneal (Nov 12, 2006)

This thread is quite an interesting one.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Llyra* 
I think that people who don't believe that kids can be picky all on their own, despite their parents doing everything right, are very lucky. They've never had a picky kid. So they can go ahead and make generalizations about WHY kids are picky. Until it happens to them.

I do agree, though, that even a picky child will pick from what's offered. So the one sure solution to a child who won't eat anything but XYZ is to stop buying XYZ. But then they fixate on some other food.

It really does happen, and it irritates me when people seem to imply it's always the parents' fault.

I agree. I know I am *very* lucky that DD is not picky. My BIL is *still* very picky, at 25 years old. He does not like to eat chicken that is still on the bone, does not like stews or soups, does not like vegetables except for green beans, etc. He stayed with us for awhile, when it was just DH and I, and eventually I stopped even trying to cook for him. My sister is the same way, very picky. I agree, the people whose kids are *not* picky, for whatever reason (sensory issues, texture issues, what have you) are lucky. I will not judge a person who has a picky eater, but I believe you should continue to offer them stuff that is not currently on their "will eat" list, so as not encourage them to only eat the things they are willing to eat. (I hope that came out right....







)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *claddaghmom* 
Well I'll vote for nature on this one. Ten of my mom's eleven kids will eat what is put in front of them. Barring a few small episodes during the toddler years of learning to eat veggies or the rare incident of having to eat Aunt Maple's burned turkey at a family reunion....we eat everything in sight without complaint.

Escargot? Sure. Sushi? There won't be any left! You serve it, we eat it lol.

But then along came my youngest sister, who is now 4 years old. If you didn't literally sit there and spoon feed her as she's whining and crying, she would never eat more than french fries, nuggets, cheese and bread. Literally.

And this seemed to be an inclination from a young age onwards. I remember one time my mom served multi-colored whole wheat pasta when she was about 1.5. She took all the green pasta and put it to the side! Refused to eat it!

You can't blame the introduction of junk food either. Even if a meal is completely TF, she will refuse to eat certain foods, or even refuse to eat at all.

Unsurprisingly, my mom has done CLW with her.

Honestly, I'm not a big fan of the multi-colored pasta, but for some reason, the green pasta especially is unappetizing to me.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *Viola* 
Oh, I meant to add in one of my other posts, that there is also the super taster thing. My husband is most likely a super taster. I am not. Even if I hate a food, I can usually revisit it and eat it. I can eat it even if I don't like it very much. My husband can't even stand to be in the same room with a food he despises.

My husband is the same way.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Katzchen* 
I have to say that as a mom of a very picky eater, many of the post in this thread were hurtful.

I guess what I'm trying to say is it is really easy to be smug about your "great parenting" when you have a good eater, but please don't judge those of us who would give our picky kid a chicken nugget rather than ignore their needs when they are crying that they are hungry at two in the morning because they refused all but a handful of the healthy foods that you offered them throughout the day.

I agree.


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## lucky_mia (Mar 13, 2007)

I'm wondering if 100 years ago most food was kind of bland anyway so it was already so it was more appealing to toddlers? I also wonder how much of a variety was given to children compared to today. I suppose the answer varies depending on the country/culture but it would interesting to know. I know my parents were not introducing Thai food to me as a baby.


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lucky_mia* 
I'm wondering if 100 years ago most food was kind of bland anyway so it was already so it was more appealing to toddlers? I also wonder how much of a variety was given to children compared to today. I suppose the answer varies depending on the country/culture but it would interesting to know. I know my parents were not introducing Thai food to me as a baby.

I do think parents today have much greater expectations in that way than folks in the past have had. Since we have so much variety, and weather doesn't often factor into our food availability, we aren't thinking in terms of seasonal foods/needs etc. Fresh fruits & veggies weren't available yr round to those of us who lived in non -temperate climates, and most people ate the food of their small communities, where variety would be dependant upon your seasons and access to trade routes. (I am not sure how far back in human chsitory we're going).

If it couldn't be stored, you couldn't eat it. So you might have a winter diet of squashes, acorns, apples for a time, and then pretty much what you could hunt, with hopes the animal itself had some meat on it's bones. (Thinking of where i live). Or maybe your people smoked or salted summer meat for winter storage. (I don't hear too many health raves at MDC for salted or smoked meats lol) IBasiically, f you didn't live in Thailand, you weren't consuming Thai foods, and so had no expectation for your toddler to eat them.

I can't stand chicken on a bone, myself, like chicken caccatoire makes me gag inside. I liek all the flavors of it...but the bones are not something I enjoy fooling around with.


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## PenelopeJune (Jan 22, 2008)

I haven't read this whole thread, because I have a feeling I would get very irritated.









My almost 4 year old is beyond picky, starting from when he was about a year old. He would eat nothing. I tried everything to get him to eat, and to this day he has a VERY limited menu. Simple, bland foods are all he likes: bananas, breads, raisins, plain cheeses, oatmeal, etc. I've recently gotten him to eat smoothies, and it's the only way I can get him to eat fruit. He freaks out at a blueberry, but toss it in the blender and it's suddenly awesome.

I completely blamed myself for all his food issues. I thought I had done something, hadn't exposed him to enough foods waaaaay back when he was first eating, etc. But then my daughter came along and she loves everything. Her favorite is noodles of any kind, but she also likes meat, vegetables, and fruit.

Even if she doesn't love something, she'll at least put it in her mouth and try it, and if there isn't anything else and she's hungry, she'll choke it down. But my son won't. He won't even attempt to taste something, and no amount of pleading, coercing, or yelling will get him to try it.


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## Limabean1975 (Jan 4, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PenelopeJune* 
I haven't read this whole thread, because I have a feeling I would get very irritated.









Me too. I have done ALL the right things - whole foods, offering many times, getting him to help in the garden and in the kitchen blahdeblahblahblah. It really, REALLY annoys me when people say "oh, my child eats great because I did all these things". Yeah, I did too. And no, he does not eat chicken nuggets and greasy pizza - but he eats a very very limited diet out of what is available in our home.


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## justice'smom (Jun 5, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Llyra* 
I"d like to introduce you to my DD1, then. She has never eaten veggies. Even as a baby, when she was first allowed to play around with food and try it, she staunchly rejected most foods. She ate peas, carrots, and tomatoes (which aren't even really veggies) and that's it, and even those she'd USUALLY reject. Just every once in a while she'd try one. And as a toddler, she ate tomatoes, sometimes, and peas occasionally, and that's it. Peaches, yogurt, pasta, sometimes tomatoes or peas, occasionally plain chicken, and for a brief time in late infancy she liked oatmeal.

I never gave her junk to get her to eat. I never bribed or begged her to eat. I never made alternate meals, so that she'd eat. And it's not just for me. She won't eat at school, or at my mother's house, or at my brother's house, or anywhere else for that matter. She has always been offered tasty, nutritious, in-season, local food, all homemade and appetizing. She won't eat any of it. She just waits until the meal includes what she likes, and then eats.

I think that people who don't believe that kids can be picky all on their own, despite their parents doing everything right, are very lucky. They've never had a picky kid. So they can go ahead and make generalizations about WHY kids are picky. Until it happens to them.

I do agree, though, that even a picky child will pick from what's offered. So the one sure solution to a child who won't eat anything but XYZ is to stop buying XYZ. But then they fixate on some other food.

It really does happen, and it irritates me when people seem to imply it's always the parents' fault.









: I made my sons baby food and it included a lot of veggies. He had acid reflux as a baby and a really bad gag reflex. He would actually vomit every time we tryed veggies or anything he didn't like. We still tryed, but now at almost five he won't eat them. With the exception being carrots and cucumbers. If we go out to eat he gets to choose to a point what he eats, but at home I don't make special meals just for him. Every night he has to try the meal and if he doesn't like it he doesn't have to eat. In general he likes breakfast and he eats some sort of peanut butter sandwich everyday, but almost never eats dinner. I just figure at some point he will start eating what I make. I'm not going to give in, but it's also not my fault he doesn't eat those things. He just doesn't like them.


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## lucky_mia (Mar 13, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PenelopeJune* 
I haven't read this whole thread, because I have a feeling I would get very irritated.









My almost 4 year old is beyond picky, starting from when he was about a year old. He would eat nothing. I tried everything to get him to eat, and to this day he has a VERY limited menu. Simple, bland foods are all he likes: bananas, breads, raisins, plain cheeses, oatmeal, etc. I've recently gotten him to eat smoothies, and it's the only way I can get him to eat fruit. He freaks out at a blueberry, but toss it in the blender and it's suddenly awesome.

I completely blamed myself for all his food issues. I thought I had done something, hadn't exposed him to enough foods waaaaay back when he was first eating, etc. But then my daughter came along and she loves everything. Her favorite is noodles of any kind, but she also likes meat, vegetables, and fruit.

Even if she doesn't love something, she'll at least put it in her mouth and try it, and if there isn't anything else and she's hungry, she'll choke it down. But my son won't. He won't even attempt to taste something, and no amount of pleading, coercing, or yelling will get him to try it.

Hugs mama. Somewhere back in this thread I talked about how my twins were opposites in the eating department so I knew from the start it wasn't something I did or didn't do. You can't *make* kids eat, sleep, or use the potty, if they don't want to/aren't ready. Not your fault at all. Yes we control what we serve but when you get desperate, you do what you have to do.


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