# would you leave your kid home in this situation?



## raelize (Jun 17, 2006)

we are currently between houses and are at my parents house. yesterday i needed to get a few things At the store but my 3 y.o (a month shy of 4) didn't want to go. my father was home, but working in the basement. i thought maybe i would leave her, cause she is pretty good aout safety issues and if she needed something she could get my dad but he wasn't going to be "supervising" her. also, it really wouldn't be different than when she plays alone in her room and i am across the house or downstairs.
i ended up taking her with me, but i wonder how others feel about this?
i kept her with me cause my dad really needed to work (he works part time from home) and i know that he would feel resposible to take care of her and he wouldnt work.
would you leave your 3/4 y.o at home with another adult not supervising them but in the house with them?


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## harrietsmama (Dec 10, 2001)

No, probably not until at least 6 yo, I guess it depends on the child and the home layout but my dd would be frightened, and my ds is still a bit danger prone at almost 8. I'd say for mine, I started feeling like they could be indirectly supervised about 2 years ago, but they still checked in with me on their own pretty frequently.


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## noobmom (Jan 19, 2008)

What was your dad doing in the basement? If he was say, woodworking, I would say no. But if he was doing quiet work, like office work, where he would be able to hear if DD yelled for him or fell off a chair, I might be okay with it, especially if I was just leaving for an hour or less. I'd probably settle DS down in front of a movie and he would be just fine. My DS is very calm though and not at all the type to get into mischief.

It's nice that to know that your Dad would check on DD though. I think it wouldn't be unreasonable to have an adult check on her every 10 or 15 minutes.

That said, DS would NEVER turn down a trip to the store. LOL


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## mysticmomma (Feb 8, 2005)

yes if the other adult was amicable.


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## sapientia (Apr 22, 2007)

nope.


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## bethanyclaire (Dec 17, 2004)

I think it depends on the child, too. DS at nearly 4? Sure! DD at nearly 4? Oh, goodness NO! I don't even want to envision what she could have thought up with 15 minutes alone at that age! DS, however, would have been fine. As long as the other adult was okay with it and they would be aware and able to hear and respond quickly in the case of an emergency I don't think it would be a big deal. As long as you know your child (and don't have the type of child who would try and see how many marbles would fit in their mouth or something... ask me how I know







) I wouldn't worry.


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## lovbeingamommy (Jun 17, 2007)

No, I wouldn't. DS will be four in a few days and I've noticed recently he's been going outside without permission on his own. So for me, I would be too worried.


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## Marlet (Sep 9, 2004)

It depends on my feeling at the time. I left my two kids (both under 5 but by no means babies) home today when I ran next door to the bank. I live in an insanely tiny town and the bank is so close to next door we've had people jump from one roof to another.







I locked the door and had them totally set up and occupied for the 5 min. I was gone. I have taken them with me though when I haven't felt good about it.

That said, I won't leave them in the car to pay for gas or run inside a store. Something about that one makes me uneasy. I've only done this a couple times since moving into this apartment. I have major anxiety and generally don't feel good about it.


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## Spirit Dancer (Dec 11, 2006)

I would do it.


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## earthmama369 (Jul 29, 2005)

Not my kids.


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

No. First, if something happened, your data wouldn't KNOW that you weren't there and might not realize it until it's too late. So, it's unfair to your dad to leave him 'in charge' without telling him.

Second, my kids would last about 30 seconds before they bothered grandpa, so really, it'd be grandpa having to watch them.

At 6, yes. At 3, no.


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## FtMPapa (Nov 13, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Marlet* 
It depends on my feeling at the time. I left my two kids (both under 5 but by no means babies) home today when I ran next door to the bank. I live in an insanely tiny town and the bank is so close to next door we've had people jump from one roof to another.







I locked the door and had them totally set up and occupied for the 5 min. I was gone. I have taken them with me though when I haven't felt good about it.

That said, I won't leave them in the car to pay for gas or run inside a store. Something about that one makes me uneasy. I've only done this a couple times since moving into this apartment. I have major anxiety and generally don't feel good about it.

Op - NOPE! And I wouldn't do this above, either. Ok, I would maybe do that with non-mobile kids asleep with a baby monitor with me. Naw, maybe not even then.


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## hottmama (Dec 27, 2004)

Yes, I would. I'm a low-supervision parent, though. My 1st grader walks to and from school, and I've left my ~4 yr. old home alone (with Dora on) while I run across the street to do something for 10 minutes.


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## elmh23 (Jul 1, 2004)

Depends on what grandpa was doing and if he was okay with me leaving them. I've left dh with the kids while he was working in his office. He's a computer programmer, so nothing dangerous around. And if I recall, we set up a movie on another computer in the office for them, but dh didn't really suprvise them. In fact, ds drew all over one of our walls in the hallway without dh noticing (dh gets really wrapped up in his work sometimes.)


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

I think this is way too difficult for anyone else to answer because kids are so individual. IMO it depends on the kid, the house layout, and the adult who is going to be home.

My son, when he was 3? Yep, probably would have done it. My daughter is 3 now (turned 3 in June), and NO way.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

It's within the realm of feasible, but would depend on how "right" it felt at the time.


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## jgale (Jan 21, 2003)

Yes. I leave my 5 year old home alone now while I walk the dog (around the block). I would feel totally fine about leaving an almost 4 year old in the house with another adult as long as the other adult knew and was ok with it.


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## inkslinger (May 29, 2009)

When my older dd was 3, yes. dd2, now....NO WAY!


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## JL83 (Aug 7, 2009)

Depends on what your dad was doing. Would he have heard her yell or fall?

My DD is 3. She's currently upstairs (2nd floor) playing while I'm on the main floor. I can hear playing noises, but I haven't checked on her in ~10 minutes. DH is out of the house. I would also have no problem going down to the basement while she's upstairs.

But, we have a small house and I would hear if something happened.


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## LaLaLaLa (Oct 29, 2007)

I would be fine with it, but my kids (DD is 5, DS is 3.5) are pretty low-supervision, compared with other kids I know or know of. They aren't destructive, they don't do dangerous things, they can generally occupy themselves nicely for short periods of time. (I don't want to make it seem like I'm taking credit for any of this, because I absolutely am not. Their personalities are what they are, and it has nothing to do with my parenting.)

Right now it's raking season, and we have LOTS of leaves. I often start out raking with the kids outside with me, but they get bored and wander back inside. They spend lots of time in there, unsupervised, with me outside. I check in occasionally, but not as often as others might.

DH has the flu and has been staying home from work this week. Yesterday morning I gave DS breakfast and told him to go climb into bed with Daddy if he didn't want to play alone while I took DD to the bus stop. I don't think I woke DH to let him know of this plan. DS ate his food and did decide to go up and cuddle in bed. I suppose if he were a different sort of kid, all sorts of awful things could have happened in the ten minutes while I was gone.


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## tanyam926 (May 25, 2005)

Depends on the kid. Ds1 I would say yes, ds2 def not. Ds2 can cause mischief in no time at all, and routinely does.


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## raelize (Jun 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LynnS6* 
No. First, if something happened, your data wouldn't KNOW that you weren't there and might not realize it until it's too late. So, it's unfair to your dad to leave him 'in charge' without telling him.

Second, my kids would last about 30 seconds before they bothered grandpa, so really, it'd be grandpa having to watch them.

At 6, yes. At 3, no.

yeah, i would have let my dad know. otherwise, he would have had his hedphones on. he just works in his office at home. but, the bothering grandpa part would be a problem adn the reason that i took her.

thanks for all of your posts. i realize that it was probably correct of me to take her. and really that it depends on the kid as opposed to the actual age.


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## Mrs.Burke (May 14, 2009)

Definitely No. Never leave a child by her own.


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## SuzyLee (Jan 18, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mrs.Burke* 
Definitely No. Never leave a child by her own.

I think that is too vague. What is a child? Would you really not leave an 8 or 10 year old? I would probably leave a resposible 8 or 10 completely alone in the house.

There are too many variables to make a blanket statement. It depends on the kid, the house set-up, the length of time, etc.


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## seashells (Jan 23, 2009)

Also I would question the definition of "supervision."

Honestly, I would not leave my 4 year old unsupervised... but I personally don't require VISUAL supervision for her. An adult in earshot is enough for me. The adult would have to be able to hear falls, crying, or yells for help, and the adult would have to be able/willing to respond appropriately.

I'm hearing impaired so if I'm supervising DD I have to do it differently than DH does - I need to do a visual check on her every now and then. But DH can be washing dishes while DD is upstairs playing, and that's good enough in our house.


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## cschick (Aug 28, 2007)

My 3.5-year-old plays unsupervised (say, when I'm working in the office and he's in the family room, which is separated by the kitchen) all the time. Right now, I won't let him play in the basement playroom alone, but that's because the "back wall" of the staircase's landing is currently missing and it's a 4-foot fall onto a concrete floor if he decides to go up/down the stairs by himself and he's in a clumsy mood. (Hopefully, this issue will be resolved in December, when my husband has a few days off--the wall was gone because it was the only way full sheets of drywall were getting down in the basement.)

If the other adult was aware, I'd settle him down in front of Dinosaur train, (in my case, make sure the basement door was latched closed), let the kid know that so-and-so was in whichever room so-and-so was in, and run my errand. I've done that on Saturday mornings a few times recently: settled the kid in front of the tv in the first floor family room while his father was working in the library on the second floor.


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

It depends on the personality of the child, and whether or not the adult or teen in the other part of the house was OK with it. I'd only do it if the adult in the house was aware that he or she was "in charge" for that length of time, even if the child is busy on another floor and may never need the adult for anything.

I've left my 7yo home, sleeping, with my parents awake downstairs. He'd know to look downstairs for a grandparent if he woke up and I wasn't home. I'd leave him home asleep to drive DD1 to school (if she missed the bus) with a sleeping DD2(age 13) in the house- if he woke up, she'd easily wake up.


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## sweetpea_119 (Sep 1, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mrs.Burke* 
Definitely No. Never leave a child by her own.

I'm always curious when I read statements like these...so are you always in the same room as your children? At what age can you "trust" your kid to be around the corner? In the fenced backyard?


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## yodan (Oct 6, 2009)

Nope, i would not like to take the risk, anything can happen anytime. Your kid is your responsibility and no one would ever take care or look after your kid as you do.
Think about your kid, do you think he will be happy when you leave him alone even if there's somebody at home? No, and during your absence, he will be lonely and will do whatever comes into his mind.


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## cschick (Aug 28, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *yodan* 
Nope, i would not like to take the risk, anything can happen anytime. Your kid is your responsibility and no one would ever take care or look after your kid as you do.
Think about your kid, do you think he will be happy when you leave him alone even if there's somebody at home? No, and during your absence, he will be lonely and will do whatever comes into his mind.

It really depends on your kid and your kid's personality.

My kid does a incredible amount of self-directed, imaginative play. When he's engaged in building, playing with, or managing of his "worlds", he couldn't care less about whether anyone else is there or not. He'd rather be left "alone" during that play--whether that alone is me sitting on the couch nearby and reading a paperback, or working in either the office or library. Or, another "supervisory" adult doing the same. He actually gets really frustrated if you try to participate during those play sessions.

When he finishes, he cleans up and then will either move onto another self-directed activity, or if he wants something that involves adult participation (turning on the tv, reading a book) he'll go find an adult to do that with.


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## Mandynee22 (Nov 20, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SuzyLee* 
I think that is too vague. What is a child? Would you really not leave an 8 or 10 year old? I would probably leave a resposible 8 or 10 completely alone in the house.

There are too many variables to make a blanket statement. It depends on the kid, the house set-up, the length of time, etc.

ITA I've started leaving my almost-10 yr old home alone and she's fine with it, so am I. Totally depends on the kid and your own situation.


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## Mandynee22 (Nov 20, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *yodan* 
Nope, i would not like to take the risk, anything can happen anytime. Your kid is your responsibility and no one would ever take care or look after your kid as you do.
Think about your kid, do you think he will be happy when you leave him alone even if there's somebody at home? No, and during your absence, he will be lonely and will do whatever comes into his mind.

It sounds like this kid didn't want to go in the first place so I don't think he would feel all that lonely or abandoned...
And I take this to mean that no one but mom can watch the kids? What about Dad? Babysitter? Grandparents? Is a mother really the only one qualified?


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## alacrity (Oct 25, 2008)

I would say no. The three year old I babysit is amazing and usually great about safety stuff but for some reason kids tend to do crazy things with no adults around. His mom recently left him watching tv while she showered (which I would think would not be a problem with this boy) and she heard him scream. She ran out and found he had turned on the toaster oven and burned himself. I was shocked because I would never expect that from him.

Better safe than sorry.


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## childsplay (Sep 4, 2007)

No, not a 3 y/o. At least none of the 3 y/o's I've known (4 of my own plus various daycare kids)
I know that at 3, I wouldn't have had complete confidence that he/she would not try to use the toaster or toaster oven, plug or unplug things, go outside for a roam, wash her dollies hair in the sink, float a pirate ship in the sink, choke on food, strangle with skipping ropes, scarves or roomy dress up clothes, color the walls with crayon, etc....

My brain would definately say sure, leave her/him, after all she's 3, a healthy able bodied kid, plus Grampa's downstairs, and she's got a great track record of not getting into things, she'll scream if something goes wrong, besides she'll have more fun staying home than coming with me.

My gut however would be saying take her. She's only 3, too young to be responsible for her own safety.


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## Ahappymel (Nov 20, 2001)

No way. I would never leave a small child unless they were being directly supervised.
I wouldn't even think of leaving them in the situation you describe until they were at least 6 or 7 yrs old.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

A 3-year-old? No. I would have left my dd at maybe 6 in that situation. Where she could ask for help if she needed it but didn't have direct supervision.


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## Momma2Gianna (Oct 18, 2009)

You followed your gut and did exactly what was right for you and your situation.







I think it's very individual to the situation, the personalities, and the challenges of the child.


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## momofmine (Jan 8, 2007)

I say, when in doubt, don't. I have wondered things like that before, and if I am questioning it, it usually means I should just take the extra time it takes, even if it's not as convenient.

I would have taken my child with me too.


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## RiverSky (Jun 26, 2005)

No.


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