# Calling parents by their first name - what do you think?



## ian'smommaya (Jun 7, 2004)

I call my parents by their first names almost exclusively with the exception being the occasional "Gramma says hi" kind of thing to D.S. How about you? What do your kids call you and what do you call your parents?


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## Red Pajama (Jun 11, 2007)

Kids call us "mom" and "dad". For grandparents, it's grandma firstname and grandpa firstname.

I personally don't want my children to call me by my first name on a routine basis. It sounds jarring to my ears.


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## One_Girl (Feb 8, 2008)

My DD calls me mama and that is what my brother and I call my mother. I don't think it is a big deal for other families to do different things but I can't imagine not having a name that only my brother and I use for my mom or not having a name only my child calls me.


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## queenjane (May 17, 2004)

Do you mean what do we call our parents to our kids? or what name do we ourselves use for our own parents?

My oldest son has called me by my first name since he was about 5. He calls his paternal grandmother by her first name (as does her own children)...when he was little he called my mom "Grandma Grandma" and pat grandma "Grandma Firstname" but as he got older it was just "Grandma" and "Firstname"

My younger three call me "Mom" or "Mommy"....they do not have paternal grandparents but call my mother "Grandma."

When i am speaking to my children about my mother i say "Grandma" unless its my oldest son and his other grandma i say "Firstname"....


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## ollyoxenfree (Jun 11, 2009)

I called my parent "Mom" and "Dad".

20 y.o. DS calls us "Mom" and "Dad". 17 y.o. DD says "Mom" or "Mommy" and "Dad" or "Daddy". When he was small, DS called me "MumMum". When she was small, DD said "Momma" and "Dadda". I miss that a lot but it would be a little odd to hear it from adult children.

When he was about 2 or 3 y.o., DS went through a phase of using our first names. It was cute but didn't last. Totally understandable - our first names were what he heard everyone else call us, so why not use them himself? If he stuck with it, I would have accepted it.


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## ian'smommaya (Jun 7, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *queenjane*
> 
> Do you mean what do we call our parents to our kids? or what name do we ourselves use for our own parents?
> 
> ...


I would love to hear both. I called my grandparents gramma and grampa (both sets.) and great grand parents great gramma and grampa, when referring to them. But when speaking to them I would call them various names depending on the language that was being spoken at the time, Polish, German, Russian, Yiddish, etc. You get the idea gramma was Oma to her but gramma about her.


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## justmama (Dec 24, 2002)

I've always told my children that I worked hard for the title of "mama" and they best call me by my fancy title! I'm mama or mom at this point and their father is daddy. We use fairly traditional words for grandparents as well. Grandpa, Grandma, Uma(from a child who couldn't say grandma as a baby), Papa. We have an Auntie and a Nani(again, another child couldn't say Auntie and it turned into Nani). Friends we see frequently are given titles of Miss/Mr. Our old neighbors are Miss Shannon and Mr. Jason. There are only a couple of people in our lives that my children call by their first names. I've taught them that titles are a sign of respect and that even mama uses them when addressing people like their teaches, etc and I expect them to as well. I know the argument is that children are being thought "less" of by being made to refer to people as ma'am and sir and Miss and Mr but I have never had an adult be offended by the titles I ask my children to call them. I don't ask other children to call me Miss but I ask my own children to call others that. Just because I expect it of my children doesn't mean that others do and I understand that.


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## farmermomma (Oct 30, 2012)

I'm mom. My mom is Ginko because LO couldn't say grandma and was calling her mom. So a group decision was Ginko. She loves having a special name. Great grandma is called "Ginko with a stick", she has a cane and LO is in awe that she gets to take a stick with her everywhere she goes.


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## lovebeingamomma (Mar 16, 2007)

I would never call my parents by their first name, my children never will, and I expect other children to call me Miss____ or Mrs.____.


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## DaisyO (Feb 3, 2011)

My brother and I were brought up calling our parents by their first names...we still do. All our cousins call their parents by their first names, too. For some reason our younger sister calls our folks "mom" and "dad"-- weird, why does she do that?

Our daughter calls us Mommy and Daddy, with similarly normal variations for the grandparents. I think it is sweet! I love being a Mommy!


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## queenjane (May 17, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *lovebeingamomma*
> 
> I would never call my parents by their first name, my children never will, and I expect other children to call me Miss____ or Mrs.____.


Miss/Mrs Firstname or Lastname?

I kind of hate the whole "Miss Julie" thing unless my kid is talking to a preK teacher. Mrs Julie sounds even weirder to me. I'd much rather use a first name alone or Mrs Jones. (When i was growing up we called all our friends' parents by last name not first) Thats just personal preference of mine. I teach my kids to call people what they prefer to be called as its the polite thing to do.


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## monkeyscience (Feb 5, 2008)

So far, my son doesn't call me anything. The kid can give a recognizable rendition of the word blueberry, but not mama.







I will expect him to call me mom/mommy/mama or something similar until I'm dead. Then, I suppose, he can call me what he likes! Same for dh.

When I talk to my parents in front of my son, I typically refer to them as Grandma and Grandpa. (Sometimes I even refer to them this way when my son isn't around!) If he isn't involved, I usually just call them Mom and Dad. Well, I also call my mom Lady sometimes (as in, "Hey lady!"), and have since I was in junior high. I refer to my husband's parents by their first names when my son isn't there, and usually Grandma and Grandpa when he is. My husband does the same, but reversed, obviously. I guess we will see what my son calls his grandparents as he gets older, but we would certainly not encourage him to call them by their first name only. (Grandma/Grandpa Firstname would be fine, if it's fine with our parents, which it probably would be.) I refer to my own grandparents as Grandma/Grandpa Lastname.


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## katelove (Apr 28, 2009)

I call my parents "mum" and "dad". Our 3yo calls us mum/mummy/mama and dad/daddy. She occasionally calls us by our first names and we also have "play names", mine is "cloud", bestowed by her.

She calls my parents "Nanma" and "Tanpa" which are her versions of grandma and grandpa and which we now all love and are teaching to our second baby. Occasionally she gets mixed up and calls them mum and dad but usually corrects herself. She also occasionally calls them by their first names but it's fairly rare.


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## Backroads (May 4, 2013)

I call my parents "mom" and "dad". Daughter doesn't speak yet.

I think of my old co-worker's story who had no real game plan or preference for what her kids called her--she just wanted her husband to call her by her name and not refer to her as "mom". Thus, her oldest called her by her first name until preschool when he realized no one else called their mothers by their first name. So he switched to "mom" and that set the pattern for his siblings.


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## erigeron (Oct 29, 2010)

My mom would croak if I called her by her first name, but since I was a teenager I routinely have called my grandparents by their first names when staying with them, because they're not really in the habit of listening for "Grandmom" and "Granddad" and therefore it's the best way to get their attention. Similarly, my 2-year-old now calls them by their first names as well. They introduced themselves to her that way. *shrug*. Also when I am hanging around them I refer to my parents by their first names, though I don't use them to their face.

As for my kid, we went through a very short period of her using our first names, but now she's back to Mommy and Daddy. I wouldn't get too bent out of shape if she wanted to use my first name though. I mean, what matters is our relationship with each other, not a name.


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## philomom (Sep 12, 2004)

No way. My name is mom to them!


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## fightintxaggie98 (Feb 17, 2009)

My 4 year-old calls is just as likely to call me Mommy as she is to call me by name (whenever) or Mommy "name" (usually when we're in public with other mothers). Yes, my child calls me by my first name. No, it doesn't bother/offend/matter in the least. It is, afterall, my name.


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## stormborn (Dec 8, 2001)

Kids call me Mama/Mom (or Moooooooaaahhhhmmmm ;-) ). Dh is Papa. The older kids call us by first names or "MomFirstname" in large groups where just "mom" will cause ten heads to swivel. They've never tried using our first names otherwise. I don't think I would like it; as a pp said- I earned the title thankyouverymuch! I probably wouldn't be bothered enough to forbid it though.
My mother is Mom. I tried calling her Firstname as a kid, she disliked it enough to not respond to it. They hated me trying "Ma & Pa" during the Little House phase even more! I did call my stepdad by his first name only because I was 16 when they married and it didn't occur to me to address him as Dad. He was a great Dad to me...now I wish I had, it would have meant a lot to him, I think.


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## RosemaryV (Aug 30, 2013)

We will be "Mommy and Daddy" or "Mom and Dad"...I am so excited to be a mom in a few months and have a new name that only my child calls me...I can't imagine ever calling my own parents by their first names either. I am however excited to see how she/he will name her grandparents...We plan on having them call them Grandma firstname and Grandpa firstname....but it seems like most little kids have trouble with Grandma and Grandpa...I look forward to seeing if she/he comes up with something adorable to substitute!


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## appalachiamama (Dec 20, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *fightintxaggie98*
> 
> My 4 year-old calls is just as likely to call me Mommy as she is to call me by name (whenever) or Mommy "name" (usually when we're in public with other mothers). Yes, my child calls me by my first name. No, it doesn't bother/offend/matter in the least. It is, afterall, my name.


The same here. It's been that way for a couple years. I don't mind and I don't think it's a form of disrespect.


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## justmama (Dec 24, 2002)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *queenjane*
> 
> Miss/Mrs Firstname or Lastname?
> 
> I kind of hate the whole "Miss Julie" thing unless my kid is talking to a preK teacher. Mrs Julie sounds even weirder to me. I'd much rather use a first name alone or Mrs Jones. (When i was growing up we called all our friends' parents by last name not first) Thats just personal preference of mine. I teach my kids to call people what they prefer to be called as its the polite thing to do.


I'm assuming(since it's that way with us too) that it's Miss Jane or Mrs. Doe. My children's friends usually just call me by my first name but there are a small handful that use Miss in front of my first name. I prefer not being called Mrs. Lastname so I'll correct that. However, I expect my children to use Miss or Mr. or Mrs. as appropriate. I introduce people to my children as "This is Miss Jane and Mr. John. Even though my FIL has told me that I don't need to, I still knock before I enter their house because I see it as a sign of respect. It's not my home. I'll continue to knock every time and he think it's pretty amusing since he's told me several times just to walk in. Other people do it. But I won't. I expect people to knock before they enter my home as well.


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## Catholic Mama (Nov 7, 2006)

When I was pregnant with my firstborn, my husband and I decided that we would teach our children to call us Mama and Papa. That's what they do, and they call my mother Grandma (first name) according to her preference - same with my paternal grandmother - and they call their paternal grandparents Grandma and Grandpa (last name) according to their preference.

Slightly related: we are trying to teach them to call other adults by their last names, like Mrs. (last name) or Mr. (last name) or Ms. (last name) or Father (last name) with the exception of Sister (first name).


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## queenjane (May 17, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *justmama*
> 
> I'm assuming(since it's that way with us too) that it's Miss Jane or Mrs. Doe. My children's friends usually just call me by my first name but there are a small handful that use Miss in front of my first name. I prefer not being called Mrs. Lastname so I'll correct that. However, I expect my children to use Miss or Mr. or Mrs. as appropriate. I introduce people to my children as "This is Miss Jane and Mr. John. * Even though my FIL has told me that I don't need to, I still knock before I enter their house because I see it as a sign of respect. It's not my home. I'll continue to knock every time and he think it's pretty amusing since he's told me several times just to walk in. Other people do it. But I won't. I expect people to knock before they enter my home as well. *


It would be seen as bizarre for any of us kids to knock before entering my mother's home...this is the home we grew up in. Does your husband also knock before entering his dad's home? I can totally see given different circumstances why you would do that, but it certainly isnt a lack of respect if other's do not knock before entering the grandparents home....one might say it shows the closeness/comfort level/sense of familiarity with one another esp if one is talking about the childhood home. I think mostly its just a matter of recognizing that different families have different ways of doing things and doesnt need to have deeper meaning. I could totally see your FIL wondering to himself why you continue to knock despite him telling you repeatedly you dont have to. If anything you're putting him out by making him have to get up and answer the door.


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## erigeron (Oct 29, 2010)

I have kind of a weird relationship with my parents. So while they have told me that I can walk right in, most of the time I feel more comfortable knocking. (Also, they no longer live in the house where I grew up.) They took away my house keys pretty much the minute I left for college (and kind of begrudged me having them in high school, I might add). My husband still has his parents' house keys, despite having left home nearly 20 years ago and now living 600 miles away.


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## lovebeingamomma (Mar 16, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *queenjane*
> 
> It would be seen as bizarre for any of us kids to knock before entering my mother's home...this is the home we grew up in. Does your husband also knock before entering his dad's home? I can totally see given different circumstances why you would do that, but it certainly isnt a lack of respect if other's do not knock before entering the grandparents home....one might say it shows the closeness/comfort level/sense of familiarity with one another esp if one is talking about the childhood home. I think mostly its just a matter of recognizing that different families have different ways of doing things and doesnt need to have deeper meaning. I could totally see your FIL wondering to himself why you continue to knock despite him telling you repeatedly you dont have to. If anything you're putting him out by making him have to get up and answer the door.


When I moved out of my parents home, they asked me to knock before coming in. I kind of took offense to it, but it's their house, their rules. It was a weird transition.


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## lovebeingamomma (Mar 16, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *justmama*
> 
> I'm assuming(since it's that way with us too) that it's Miss Jane or Mrs. Doe. My children's friends usually just call me by my first name but there are a small handful that use Miss in front of my first name. I prefer not being called Mrs. Lastname so I'll correct that. However, I expect my children to use Miss or Mr. or Mrs. as appropriate. I introduce people to my children as "This is Miss Jane and Mr. John. Even though my FIL has told me that I don't need to, I still knock before I enter their house because I see it as a sign of respect. It's not my home. I'll continue to knock every time and he think it's pretty amusing since he's told me several times just to walk in. Other people do it. But I won't. I expect people to knock before they enter my home as well.


Yes that is what I meant. One of the reasons for this is because a friend told their children to just call me by my first name, and those children were disrespectful towards me. They were the only ones. So in my experience, the Ms. or Mrs. does matter as far as behavior. I could be reading too much into it, but I still prefer that sign of respect by other children. I actually prefer Mrs. lastname. I refer to all other adults as Mrs. lastname when talking about them to my children. If an adult told me "oh they can call me by my first name!", I still wouldn't have them do it. I just don't think it's appropriate, but I guess I'm kind of old-fashioned...in my 20's, but old-fashioned, lol.


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## erigeron (Oct 29, 2010)

So many of my friends have stated that it feels weird to them to be Miss or Mr to kids and they prefer first names, so it seems weird to me to automatically use titles, particularly for anyone around my age. We hang out with our friend Dave nearly every week and he stated he felt weird about being "Mr Dave" and would rather we just use his first name. I grew up Quaker and Quakers are not big on titles, so most of the grownups we hung around growing up we called by first names. I think the issue is kids learning respect, not learning to use titles. That said, if someone did request that I teach my daughter to address them by a title, I would. And if addressing someone of an older generation who is more used to that form of address, I would use that as the default. I don't correct others if they choose either form of title for me to their own kids. I might if I got really familiar with the kids.


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## pattimomma (Jul 17, 2009)

My kids, there are 5 soon to be 6 of them, call me mom, mommy, mama, and ma but if they really want my attention they call me by my first name! It works every time. I must admit, that over the years I have started to tune out the repetitive calls of mom. However I respond to my name every time.







It never bothers me. My kids call adults by whatever the adult had indicted they would like to be called.


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## Spindlewood (Sep 17, 2013)

I think its disrespectful. I have noticed my son and friends son do it out of spite. My son is grown and a twin and still a bit angry with me about life. It hurts my feelings. You only get one set of bio parents and maybe a few steps. Families are sacred and forever.

I do not love it and grew up in the 60s when it was running wild to have no boundaries.


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## Cassidy68 (Nov 13, 2011)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Spindlewood*
> 
> I think its disrespectful.


I think it is respectful to address people as they prefer to be addressed, but there is nothing inherently disrespectful about using first names. Any name can be said with respect (or without it). I have called my parents by their first names since I was a toddler, although my two younger siblings called the Mom and Dad. My parents were fine with either. My son calls me by my first name and has since he was about three. He calls my parents by their first names too- which is fine by them. My father actually prefers it to being called Grandpa.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

My kids call me mama or mom or mommy, but I guess I'm not that concerned about what they call me. If they started calling me by my first name, I'd wonder why, but I don't think it would bother me. It would just make me wonder why they'd started calling me by something else.


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## justmama (Dec 24, 2002)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *queenjane*
> 
> It would be seen as bizarre for any of us kids to knock before entering my mother's home...this is the home we grew up in. Does your husband also knock before entering his dad's home? I can totally see given different circumstances why you would do that, but it certainly isnt a lack of respect if other's do not knock before entering the grandparents home....one might say it shows the closeness/comfort level/sense of familiarity with one another esp if one is talking about the childhood home. I think mostly its just a matter of recognizing that different families have different ways of doing things and doesnt need to have deeper meaning. I could totally see your FIL wondering to himself why you continue to knock despite him telling you repeatedly you dont have to. If anything you're putting him out by making him have to get up and answer the door.


I knock at my parents' house too. I didn't grow up in that house as they moved just about 7 years ago but I always knock before I walk in. It's not my home. I don't live there. If they are expecting me already anyway, I knock or call "hello" loudly and walk in. But I always alert them before I walk in. I do the same at friends' houses.


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## Lazurii (Apr 1, 2011)

To my children I am Mom, my husband is Dad. My in-laws are Poppa and Grandma Firstname, my parents are Grandma and Grandpa Lastname. To my friends' children I am Krista. My children call other adults what they want to be called, any title or name.

My son went through a phase where he called us by our first names, but we just don't care. It's my name, he can use it. I don't call him Son all the time.

When I'm in a large group trying to get my mom's attention I'll call her by her first name. My siblings and I figured that out when we were teens, and it's made life easier.


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## Polliwog (Oct 29, 2006)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *FarmerMomma*
> 
> I'm mom. My mom is Ginko because LO couldn't say grandma and was calling her mom. So a group decision was Ginko. She loves having a special name. Great grandma is called "Ginko with a stick", she has a cane and LO is in awe that she gets to take a stick with her everywhere she goes.


That is so adorable.
Quote:


> Originally Posted by *lovebeingamomma*
> 
> Yes that is what I meant. One of the reasons for this is because a friend told their children to just call me by my first name, and those children were disrespectful towards me. They were the only ones. So in my experience, the Ms. or Mrs. does matter as far as behavior. I could be reading too much into it, but I still prefer that sign of respect by other children. I actually prefer Mrs. lastname. I refer to all other adults as Mrs. lastname when talking about them to my children. If an adult told me "oh they can call me by my first name!", I still wouldn't have them do it. I just don't think it's appropriate, but I guess I'm kind of old-fashioned...in my 20's, but old-fashioned, lol.


Everyone at my DD's school goes by their first names, including the teachers and administrators. There's no lack of respect, I can assure you.


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## farmermomma (Oct 30, 2012)

I was saddened to see that the Montessori I attended as a child had switched from kids calling teachers by first name to miss first name. What happened? Are kids different? Did philosophies change?


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## chrysanthemom (Jul 27, 2013)

i find it odd, impersonal and disrespectful to call parents by their first names! every culture on earth has a endearment term to address their parents, there must be a solid reason for it to have evolved so.


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## DaisyO (Feb 3, 2011)

I was brought up calling my parents by their first names and I have an incredible amount of respect for them. Just call my mother and ask her...ask for "Diana"


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## Polliwog (Oct 29, 2006)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Polliwog*
> 
> That is so adorable.
> Everyone at my DD's school goes by their first names, including the teachers and administrators. There's no lack of respect, I can assure you.


I forgot to add that my kids call me Mom or Mommy, except when we have done respite for kids that called me by my first name (my kids would go back and forth.) And my first grader will sometimes call me by my first name when I volunteer in her class.


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## sageowl (Nov 16, 2010)

Nope, I'm old school and believe strongly in titles/forms of address.


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## reneekangaroo (Sep 19, 2012)

Our kids call us by our names. They just picked it up from other people calling us by our names. They use mommy and daddy as nicknames. We never encouraged it or discouraged it but I do like it. It shows that we're equals as human beings, all inherently worthy of respect. Also, if our kids were to get lost they'd know what our names are instead of just mommy/daddy (they're 4 and 2).

Even as an adult I'm not comfortable using my parents' names and that kinda bugs me. When I was growing up I had a couple friends who used their parents' names and it seemed so weird, but they were also the friends who had the best relationships with their parents. When they use our names there's not this us vs them mentality. Yes, I'm their parent but I'm not superior. I earn my respect by respecting them, not by enforcing that I be referred to by some title. I don't need to hold a status above my kids.


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## mama24-7 (Aug 11, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *reneekangaroo*
> 
> Our kids call us by our names. They just picked it up from other people calling us by our names. They use mommy and daddy as nicknames. We never encouraged it or discouraged it but I do like it. It shows that we're equals as human beings, all inherently worthy of respect. Also, if our kids were to get lost they'd know what our names are instead of just mommy/daddy (they're 4 and 2).
> 
> Even as an adult I'm not comfortable using my parents' names and that kinda bugs me. When I was growing up I had a couple friends who used their parents' names and it seemed so weird, but they were also the friends who had the best relationships with their parents. When they use our names there's not this us vs them mentality. Yes, I'm their parent but I'm not superior. I earn my respect by respecting them, not by enforcing that I be referred to by some title. I don't need to hold a status above my kids.
























Awesome post!

Sus


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## Raene (Jul 24, 2008)

I feel like I work hard for my title. I'd not let my kids call me by my first name. But other than for parents/grandparents I think first names are appropriate and easier to remember than Mr and Mrs ...


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## MommaWiggles (Sep 21, 2013)

My children are all under 6 and call us mommy and daddy. When they get older it will evolve into mom and dad. Older kids who still say mommy and daddy drive me bonkers. They only have one grandma and one grandpa (my parents are NOT involved with them). Great grandparents are Grandma (firstnames) and grandpa (lastnames). IDK why but that was how my husband is raised so I just went with it. I think it's a respect thing. My husband and I worked hard for those titles, and we are going to get them!


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## alaskanmomma (May 25, 2011)

I'm mommy/mama and DH is daddy/papa. I won't allow them to call me Megan or him Josh under my roof..


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

I wouldn't pass up the opportunity to be called 'mom' for anything.

Generally they don't call me by my name. Except when dd is being a pill and quotes Stewie from Family Guy: "Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!"


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## farmermomma (Oct 30, 2012)

DS's father calls him "son" often. It's really finger nails on the chalk board to me. It seems like dad has to keep reminding him. He doesn't see him often so maybe this is making up for it? It feels like a power trip to me the way he uses it.


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## Honey693 (May 5, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *chrysanthemom*
> 
> i find it odd, impersonal and disrespectful to call parents by their first names! every culture on earth has a endearment term to address their parents, there must be a solid reason for it to have evolved so.


Do you know the reason or are you blindly following b/c that's how it's always been done?

My kids usually call me mommy, but I get called by my first name sometimes, especially when they're trying to get my attention. I think it's really important for them to know my full name in case they ever get lost.


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## skreader (Nov 19, 2008)

My kids call me Mama and their father Baba. They are teens now - I don't imagine that this will change, unless we some day become grandparents and we hear them referring to us in the 3rd person as "Grandma X" or "Grandpa Y".

I have no problem w/ other people having their own kids call them by their given names. I called my beloved step-father by his given name and I loved and respected him as much as my father who I called Dad.


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## prone_to_wander (Jun 29, 2009)

My son calls me goes between calling me mama, mom and honey. He picked up calling me Honey somewhere and I just love it so much. He did briefly go through a stage where he called me by my first name but I told him that mama was my special name that he called me, so could he call me that. But then he just started calling me honey. And I love it so much.


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## MaggieLC (Sep 2, 2013)

I would always call my parents Mom and Dad. I was in my pre-teens and teens in the 70s and some people had their children call them by their first names. I certainly wasn't allowed to and my husband just laughed when I asked him about it. No way his parents would have allowed it, his parents had problems with the pronoun "he" or "she" when referring to one's parents, which I have never understood.

I just asked one of my daughters if anyone she knew called their parents by their first names and she said, "No, that's a 70s thing." LOL! She said some of her friends refer to their parents by their first names while talking about them, ("Brad and Janet want me home to help move the furniture") but she said, "It takes too much work do do that.... you have to think about it. Wait, they have names?"

I think there is an intimacy to calling someone Mom or Dad. (Or Mama and Papa, like our children do.) I think some sort of respect is there, too. But, it depends on the family and how they feel about it.


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## MaggieLC (Sep 2, 2013)

I've always had a hard time being called "Mrs. Hislastname." That's my mother in law! (Whom I call by her first name. I just can't call her "Mom" even though I love her, as she isn't my mom.) I prefer most of my kids' friends call me by my first name, but some of their parents forbid it, so I'm "Mrs.Hislastname" for them.

For very close friends my children call the adults "Aunt Hername" or "Uncle Hisname" as neither my husband nor I have any living sisters or brothers. I have step siblings, but it gets confusing so we all call each other by our first names. I do like being called "Auntie" by my "adopted nephews."

My best friend's husband (then live in boyfriend) and she were over the day our oldest DD turned a year old. They stayed after the party, and we had this silly toy that the baby kept calling a "dog" while my friend's bf kept insisting was a "Pig." This went on for some time with her saying, "DOG" and his saying, "No, PIG!" A few weeks later they came over and he walked in the house and our DD pointed at him and yelled "PIG!" So, he was Uncle Pig until the day he died a few years ago. (Their son, our nephew is known as The Piglet, as is his daughter, who is "Little Piglet." We needed a funny name for my husband so we call him "Uncle Booger." Our oldest DD couldn't say my best friend's name, but she could say "Honey." So, she's been Auntie Honey for all my kids.

For some odd reason my other "adopted nephew" began calling me "Auntie Eggie" when he was a baby, because he couldn't say my name. I loved it, but he outgrew it when he got older.


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## chrysanthemom (Jul 27, 2013)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Honey693*
> 
> Do you know the reason or are you blindly following b/c that's how it's always been done?
> 
> My kids usually call me mommy, but I get called by my first name sometimes, especially when they're trying to get my attention. I think it's really important for them to know my full name in case they ever get lost.


your question is not clear. are you asking about the cultural evolution of addressing parents by a particular endearment term?

mine know both parents' first names (and last, too) and they know they are to use it when it is appropriate to do so. they do not get my attention by being rude.


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## colsxjack (Dec 9, 2009)

Our DD calls us Mummy/Daddy or Mum/Dad or sometimes Mama.

Every once in a while she calls us by our first name. I wouldn't like it all the time. But it doesn't phase me when she does it.

She is 4 yrs old and knows our first and last names, her full name, her address and her birthdate.

She does not yet know our phone number.

We call my wife's parents Granny and Grandad. (our child is first grandchild).

My parents are Nanny and Grumpy. (there are four grandchildren before ours).

I call my in-laws by their first names. I sometimes call them Mum and Dad. But it seems weird to me. Although they like it.

I have a hard time not calling my wife Mama...because I have said it so many times to the kids.


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## RStelle (Jul 12, 2011)

I call my parents by their first names, and my sister calls them Mom & Dad, it makes it kind of annoying sounding now when we talk with each other about them. DD started calling me by my first name for a while and I kept telling her that she should call me "Mama" instead. I actually wish I didn't call my parents by their names, so I made sure that I was Mama. I think it is just because when I was growing up I always felt like I was weird calling my parents by their names, and it got really annoying to explain it to everyone all the time. I felt strongly about being "Mama" to my kid. I have not problem with other people doing it, though. I just decided It wasn't what I wanted!

A little off topic but NOBODY ever says Mr/Ms where I live, we even called our teachers by their first names. If a friends parents had wanted me to call them Mr/Ms I would have thought it was so strange. If someone wanted my DD to call them Mr/Ms I would think they were on some weird power trip/ a snob, it would just be so strange. To me it seems kind of disrespectful to the kid, like "you aren't as old/ important as me, and you have to be reminded of it whenever you say my name". My wife tells me that is just because I grew up in VT and live in a bubble surrounded by hippies, lol.


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## farmermomma (Oct 30, 2012)

I want to live in a bubble of hippies!


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

i dont care either way. but dd calls me all sorts of things. mom being one of them. not by name. when dd was little and we were at the park i asked dd to call me by name coz i would have no clue as there are so many loud 'mom's flying around and they all sound so similar.

my parents would not handle me calling them by their first name.


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## Rhyannon Walker (Feb 21, 2013)

My 3-year-old son calls me Mom, Mama, Mommy, etc, but he usually calls my husband by his first name, except on rare occasions when he says Daddy instead. It's just something he started doing. I've had people tell me it's disrespectful and we should "correct" him, but it doesn't bother us. He's not doing it to be a brat or anything, he's just referring to his dad by the name he hears everyone else use.


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

My kids know my full legal name, but they call me mom, and that's what I call my mother as well.


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## MamaShug (Sep 8, 2013)

Our kids call us by our names mainly because in order to teach them to call us mom or dad we would have had to refer to each other as such or speak about ourselves in the third person, both ideas I find to be pretty silly.They call me mom about as often as I call them child or son/daughter.


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

Let's be really respectful of differences here, without letting negative terms creep into the conversation.

Quote:



> Originally Posted by *MamaShug*
> 
> They call me mom about as often as I call them child or son/daughter.


I call my kids dearest, sweetest, sweetheart, my dear, young woman, young man, child of mine, daughter, daughter of mine, son, son of mine... others.


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## Robin Charles (Aug 22, 2013)

My daughter usually calls me by my first name but if she's hurt/sad/ any negative feeling it's "MOM". I think this is because we hung out with so much of our extended family when she was younger and they of course didn't call me mom, but she's connected that nurturing feeling with "mom", so if she is just talking to me it's my name but if she is needing extra security or comfort it's "mom". I don't mind, but my husband doesn't like being called by his first name so much.


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## Heatherdj79 (Nov 11, 2012)

I dd, age 8, calls me Mom or Mommy. When first adopted she called me Ms. Heather and she called dh "that man" or "mr. first name". Now she calls him Dad or Daddy. She wanted to call my mom Cindy (that is not even close to her name). But now she calls her Gogo, which is Zulu for grandmother and she calls my dad GrandPop. She calls DH's mom Nene. My little dd, age 2, calls me Mama and calls dh Baba.


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## SusanaLaLoca (Aug 31, 2009)

I wouldn't call my parents by their first name. Even when I introduce them to someone, I have a hard time saying their names out loud! It just is weird to me!


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## Rowdie (Nov 24, 2011)

I don't call my folks by their first names. Mom and Dad have been pretty much it. They do the same for their parents. My LO will probably refer to us as mom/my and dad/dy or some variant once she gets old enough to speak.

I'm not crazy about "Mrs." for me. I prefer my first name--or Ms. if a title is really needed. I'm not keen on the emphasis of marital status for women ("Miss"/"Mrs." while men get a universal "Mr."). I got married in my thirties and "Miss" never sounded right for someone into her third decade.


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## fayebond (Jun 16, 2012)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *justmama*
> 
> I've always told my children that I worked hard for the title of "mama" and they best call me by my fancy title!


ditto


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## MissAnthrope (Jan 31, 2011)

DH and I usually use mommy/daddy to refer to each other in the third person (I have to tell my 2yo DAILY "Daddy is at work right now, sweetheart."), but we use the regular first person (I don't ask my children to "Give that to mommy", I say "give that to me"), and when we adults address each other in the children's presence, we use the regular second person stuff-- you, or first names.

So my nearly-4yo calls DH by his first name, but both he and the nearly-3yo mostly call me "mommy", and that's just the way it is right now. No big deal.

I don't believe in teaching children that adults are inherently worthy of more respect just because they're adults, and I worry that the Mr./Ms. thing communicates that. We use the big five due to ease of pronunciation (mommy, daddy, grampa, gramma, baby), but otherwise use first names for everyone, from their uncles, to their friends, from their friends' parents, to their siblings.


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## Shuli (May 14, 2007)

My children call us Mom and Dad, and when they try and use our first names we nip it in the bud; we feel it's a sign of respect. Same with grandparents. It's Grandma First Name and Grandpa First name. When I am referring to them when the children are around, that is the name I use.

When addressing neighbours or other adults when first introduced or when I am referring to them I call them Mr./Ms. last name unless told otherwise. Most of our neighbours are the same way unless we are close to them, a lot of kids in the neighbourhood call me Ms. and I like it also, it's a sign of respect. When I was growing up, you did not call adults by their given names, you called them Mr./Ms. which is what I am teaching my children.


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## farmermomma (Oct 30, 2012)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Rowdie*
> 
> I don't call my folks by their first names. Mom and Dad have been pretty much it. They do the same for their parents. My LO will probably refer to us as mom/my and dad/dy or some variant once she gets old enough to speak.
> 
> I'm not crazy about "Mrs." for me. I prefer my first name--or Ms. if a title is really needed. I'm not keen on the emphasis of marital status for women ("Miss"/"Mrs." while men get a universal "Mr."). I got married in my thirties and "Miss" never sounded right for someone into her third decade.


Yeah. I'm not married. Not a teenager either. Most kids don't know Ms. though. Lots of adults don't either.


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## beautifulnm (Dec 12, 2008)

My son, at 3.5, feels it's important to not only know titles, but also names. Though for the most part dh and I are still mama and daddy ds knows, and occasionally uses, 'baffne' or 'timfee.' pat grandparents are grandma, grandpa, or japanese honorifics, interchangeably. we don't do 'miss' or 'mister' anyone; any male beyond his age class is 'uncle' and female 'auntie,' with or without first name, including daycare providers. this went for pretty much everyone aside from an old coworker I had who decided he was also an honorary grandpa or ojiisan because my father passed before ds was born.


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