# When do we use the crib???



## ValerieMarie (Jun 18, 2013)

My son has been sleeping through the night since he was a week old. However, since he was so small (4lbs 13oz when I took him home, not a preemie either, just really tiny), his doctors told me I MUST wake him up to eat every 3 hours bc he needs to gain a lot of weight fairly quickly. So, on our first day home, I put his bassinet directly next to my bed. It's not only convenient for feeding, but he's had painful gas for about 3 weeks now, and it wakes him up out of a dead sleep with a really bad tummy ache! So I pull him into bed with me to cuddle and help him get thru it as easily and quickly as possible. (He goes right back in the bassinet as soon as he passes gas and falls asleep).

Well, he finally got to a weight where I no longer need to wake him up to feed him during the night. It's wonderful, bc most nights he'll sleep from 10pm to 530am without waking up. Unless he has gas. In which case, cuddle-time with mommy! Lol

My question is this..... when do I stop using the bassinet for sleep and start using the crib in his room?? I've been practicing putting him in it during the day, and he seems perfectly fine. But he's never actually Slept in it..

My husband thinks I'm being too over-protective and says I'm just going to make it worse for the long run. Not only for the baby, but for me as well.

So... what do I do?? Do I "abandon" him in his crib and run to his room if he wakes up with a tummy ache (aka: no more cuddling)?? Do I ignore the tummy aches and let him handle it himself (aka cry it out - at 2 months old)?? Or do I stick with the bassinet til the tummy aches go away and move him to the crib later on (hoping he doesn't care that I'm not Right There for him if he needs me)??


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## dalia (Sep 3, 2007)

Well, my DS co-slept in bed with me. It was honestly the only way I would ever do it because I didn't want to be having to get up and go to his crib when he cried. There is absolutely nothing wrong with cuddling him and tending to his needs. He needs that so much right now. You are shaping his emotional well being and teaching him that he can trust that his needs will be met. Good mommy!!

My son had that gas thing too. I did "bicycle legs" with him to help push the gas out. I would also massage his tummy. Poor baby!!
I would keep him next to you for as long as you feel comfortable with it. In my case the crib got used as a play pen for my son and if I needed a place to throw laundry LOL.


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## ValerieMarie (Jun 18, 2013)

Thank you Dalia. I have been telling my hubby that he's too young to manipulate us. If he's crying, it's for a reason. And I don't feel like we should "cut him off" for needing attention right now. He's my little man, and I'm going to do whatever I can to make him feel as safe and loved as I possibly can. Even if I need to cuddle with him and help push his farts out at 3 am lol... and yes, I try to do my best massaging his tummy and doing the bicycle. I have also tried warm baths. I think my next step is going to be prune juice bc the apple juice isn't working for him at all.


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## fruitfulmomma (Jun 8, 2002)

We've never used a crib with six kids. Well, when the oldest was born we tried it for about three days and mommy about went crazy.

Anyway, you could compromise by bringing the crib into your room. Even big medical organizations that are against bedsharing, advise baby sleeping in the same room at the parents to decrease the risk of SIDS, so you could point that out to him.

As for getting them out of the bed when they are older, most of ours went very easily with no returns once they were moved. Only a couple of the younger girls have had issues and they go to sleep fine, it is just waking up sometimes and wanting to come to our bed.


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## womenswisdom (Jan 5, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *ValerieMarie*
> 
> Thank you Dalia. I have been telling my hubby that he's too young to manipulate us. If he's crying, it's for a reason. And I don't feel like we should "cut him off" for needing attention right now. He's my little man, and I'm going to do whatever I can to make him feel as safe and loved as I possibly can. Even if I need to cuddle with him and help push his farts out at 3 am lol... and yes, I try to do my best massaging his tummy and doing the bicycle. I have also tried warm baths. I think my next step is going to be prune juice bc the apple juice isn't working for him at all.


Wait, are you giving a two month old apple juice or am I misunderstanding?

In any case, SIDS prevention guidelines state that babies should be in the parent's room until at least 6 months old so really there is no good reason to move him. I personally co-sleep, but if you don't feel comfortable with that, then room-sharing is good too


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## womenswisdom (Jan 5, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *ValerieMarie*
> 
> Thank you Dalia. I have been telling my hubby that he's too young to manipulate us. If he's crying, it's for a reason. And I don't feel like we should "cut him off" for needing attention right now. He's my little man, and I'm going to do whatever I can to make him feel as safe and loved as I possibly can. Even if I need to cuddle with him and help push his farts out at 3 am lol... and yes, I try to do my best massaging his tummy and doing the bicycle. I have also tried warm baths. I think my next step is going to be prune juice bc the apple juice isn't working for him at all.


Wait, are you giving a two month old apple juice or am I misunderstanding?

In any case, SIDS prevention guidelines state that babies should be in the parent's room until at least 6 months old so really there is no good reason to move him. I personally co-sleep, but if you don't feel comfortable with that, then room-sharing is good too


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## dalia (Sep 3, 2007)

You are very welcome! It sounds like you really care for him and are doing your best to do right by your little man. 

I wouldn't do apple juice at two months. That could be making the problem worse as his digestive tract just isn't ready for it. For now, I would stick with breast milk or formula. I seem to remember giving my little one a teaspoon I watered down camomile tea when things got really bad. Also, there are homeopathic and herbal remedies for colic that can be bought at the health food store or online.

Good luck!!! :-D


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## ValerieMarie (Jun 18, 2013)

You know, I never even thought about SIDS when I brought him into the room with us. I know I can be a little crazy about the baby sometimes, but there's always a good reason for everything I do...even if I haven't figured out what that reason is yet lol. It must have been in my subconscious somewhere creeping around. Thank you both for bringing that up!!


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## dalia (Sep 3, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *ValerieMarie*
> 
> You know, I never even thought about SIDS when I brought him into the room with us. I know I can be a little crazy about the baby sometimes, but there's always a good reason for everything I do...even if I haven't figured out what that reason is yet lol. It must have been in my subconscious somewhere creeping around. Thank you both for bringing that up!!


Yes!!! Mothers have that instinct and should trust it. No one knows better than mama. <3


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## ValerieMarie (Jun 18, 2013)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *womenswisdom*
> 
> Wait, are you giving a two month old apple juice or am I misunderstanding?
> 
> In any case, SIDS prevention guidelines state that babies should be in the parent's room until at least 6 months old so really there is no good reason to move him. I personally co-sleep, but if you don't feel comfortable with that, then room-sharing is good too


Yes, my doctor suggested it before trying prune juice. I asked why and she said bc you can give him up to 6 oz of apple juice a day and if it works, it works. You can't overload him on apple juice. But too much prune juice could be messy. And gross. And if you can avoid messy, try it. It can't hurt. HOWEVER, I think it made him worse! I'm never seeing that doctor again. She also told me no pacifier, and to start tummy time at 2 weeks old. I thought my mother in law was gonna smack her when she said that last one. Now I'm learning this lady is just an idiot all across the board. Wtf :-(


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## ValerieMarie (Jun 18, 2013)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *dalia*
> 
> You are very welcome! It sounds like you really care for him and are doing your best to do right by your little man.
> 
> ...


Thanx! I'm going to find a new doctor, and buy some tea this week! Lol


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## ValerieMarie (Jun 18, 2013)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *fruitfulmomma*
> 
> We've never used a crib with six kids. Well, when the oldest was born we tried it for about three days and mommy about went crazy.
> 
> ...


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## dalia (Sep 3, 2007)

"6 kids and no crib for any of them? That's amazing! How did you do that?? Didn't they run around on you? My nephew is always climbing out of his crib just so his dad will chase him around their apartment lol... it's not funny bc I'd be so mad if mine escaped every single night and I had to chase him. But it's actually quite hysterical to watch from afar"

Girl you better get ready LOL!!! They ALL climb!!!! When my DH was a baby he climbed out of his crib, out the bedroom window and onto the roof of the second story!!!! This is why we have baby monitors now!! LOL


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## ValerieMarie (Jun 18, 2013)

Oh my goodness that's crazy!! I am so glad my house is only one floor! Hahaha! I am SO not looking forward to crib escapes yet.


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## fruitfulmomma (Jun 8, 2002)

Yep, they climb. They've climbed over safety gates and out of playpens. The youngest one had one of those activity center seats and by 10 months she had figured out how to get out of it.

Our house is small so they can't run far. It can kinda be exhausting sometimes but such is the life of a parent. A good carrier like an Ergo can help for those times you really need them contained.


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## womenswisdom (Jan 5, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *ValerieMarie*
> 
> Yes, my doctor suggested it before trying prune juice. I asked why and she said bc you can give him up to 6 oz of apple juice a day and if it works, it works. You can't overload him on apple juice. But too much prune juice could be messy. And gross. And if you can avoid messy, try it. It can't hurt. HOWEVER, I think it made him worse! I'm never seeing that doctor again. She also told me no pacifier, and to start tummy time at 2 weeks old. I thought my mother in law was gonna smack her when she said that last one. Now I'm learning this lady is just an idiot all across the board. Wtf :-(


I am *shocked* that a doctor would recommend giving a two-month old apple juice for any reason. And seriously, up to 6 oz??? That is a LOT of apple juice when compared to how much breasmilk a baby that age would consume and it would replace the nutrition the baby would get from the breastmilk. Babies under 6 months should have nothing but breastmilk or formula since it disrupts the gut, decreases the needed nutrition from breasmilk and can cause far more problems than it might solve.


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## Min1035 (Oct 19, 2012)

Hi,

My son also had gas when he was a couple of months old. At the time they gave them Mylacon. It didn't work so he told me to give him fruit! I did starting with pears and it worked beautifully, no more gas. I was also breast feeding so I had a restricted diet. You know no broccoli, I wasn't a big dairy person, and other gassy foods. Hope this helps


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## jpotter929 (Apr 18, 2012)

Your baby should stay in your room until YOU are ready to move him. Period. You need give no reason to anyone. I agree no more juice! And I also 2nd giving a small amount of either chamomile or catnip tea-I was told I could use up to an ounce per night.


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## jesshrehor (Nov 22, 2010)

Adding chamomile tea to the bath water can also help with gas.

And you can't spoil a baby. If anything, moving him out of your room at this point would be harder on both of you. You'd have to get up and go to him in the night, meaning you're both more awake from the extra time and movement. Babies and moms are designed to desire constant (or near constant) closeness. It's normal and healthy. Babies don't have the mental capacity for manipulation. Even older babies and toddlers who fuss or cry to "get their way" aren't doing it to be malicious, but because they don't understand why you won't let them play with the shiny kitchen knife that looks so fun.


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## MichelleZB (Nov 1, 2011)

Babies that young have trouble digesting things that aren't breastmilk, so that can't be helping the gas.

When does he leave the bassinet? When he is too large to fit in it!

My son sleeps in a crib beside our bed, and then when he wakes up, I take him into bed with me to snuggle. He's 18 months.

Where's the harm?


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## Monkey pants (Sep 5, 2010)

My son slept in a pack n play next to my bed or in my bed for the first year of his life. Moving him into his own room at a year was no biggie and I think we all slept better after that. He's 2.5 and just got his toddler bed! Tell daddy your baby needs you and will be better off close.


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## kaitlinsmom (Jun 7, 2013)

Hi! I Have 3 girls. My baby is now 3 months old and I just put her in her crib. She didn't like it at first so, my husband and I bought a really cute crib mobile and she loves it , it plays music for 40 minutes and we put a monitor/camera - these new monitors are all visual now, so, we can hear her and see her. We put her in her crib as much as possible everytime she falls asleep and now she learned how to soothe herself and put herself to sleep. Your baby's colic/ gas should resolve close to 3 months. I did chamomile tea with my baby but not too much- gave her diarrhea :/ I used the bassinet until she reached wt limit 15 lbs that was at 2 1/2 months. I recommend you use bassinet until baby reaches wt limit and then start using crib. Try the crib mobile ( they have great ones at "buy buy baby" and you will love those new monitors , you can hear and see everything , even night vision ;D


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## kaitlinsmom (Jun 7, 2013)

. This is a pic of crib mobile


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## Homeschool Mum (May 30, 2006)

Hi, Having recently attended a seminar on brain development, I thought I ought to reply to your question. Personally, we co-slept with our two girls from the time they were born and loved it. As I breastfed both of them, having them in bed with us meant that I didn't have to get up and could easily get back to sleep myself. Our youngest had terrible gas and projectile vomiting for the first 9 months of life and screamed every night for about 4 hours straight







. This was not an easy time for us, and I eliminated a lot from my diet, but we got through it by taking it in turns to rock and soothe her. Our girls moved into their own room at the ages of 6 and 8, respectively, though they still have very fond memories of snuggling together and both intend to have a family bed when they have their own children. No matter what you choose to do, co-sleeping, keeping the baby in the bassinet or in a crib, I highly recommend that you have the baby in the same room as you and that when he wakes, you attend to his needs. This is not only best for SIDS prevention, but also for brain development. The whole idea of putting babies on a schedule and letting them cry it out was developed during the Industrial Revolution as mothers began working outside the home. However, it was not done in the best interest of the baby.

Thanks to MRI scanning, we can now see the effects of different forms of parenting and how they impact on brain development. What researchers have been learning is that the bottom of the brain, the brain stem (the survival part of the brain) develops first and plays centre stage for the first 6 months of a baby's life. Babies that are left to cry it out and young ones up to the age of 3 years whose needs are not being met will have an aroused brain stem and it will grow larger than necessary, as the message it gets is that it can't rely on others and must fend for itself. This then has an affect on other parts of the brain, especially the cortex, the learning/thinking part of the brain that plays centre stage from the age of 3 to 25 years. If parents have their babies self-soothe at sleep time, but then meet all of the other needs of their little ones, the effects of the slightly enlarged brain stem will not really be noticed. However, those babies and young ones who are severely abused or neglected in the early stages of their lives develop quite a large brain stem in relation to other parts of the brain and are actually incapable of developing much of the front cortex. This is due to an excessive level of the stress hormone, cortisol, having been released, which damages the cortex and affects the ability of the brain to set up neural pathways. Excessive cortisol and an enlarged brain stem not only affect learning/thinking, but also to the ability to reason, control emotions and empathize. It can also lead to alcohol and drug abuse, as well as violence later in life.

On the other hand, babies and young ones under the age of 3 years who are not left to self-soothe, and who have all of their needs met by loving parents/caregivers, develop a smaller brain stem, are calmer, have higher levels of endorphins (the positive, learning hormones) and are therefore able to better develop the other parts of their brains - the cerebellum (the movement brain), the limbic system (the emotional brain) and finally the cortex. What those studying the brain have been learning is that the environment one experiences during the first 3 years of life is crucial to brain development and hence everything else in one's life, and that one cannot spoil a child under the age of 3 years.

I'm very pleased to read that you will be changing doctors! I've never heard of giving a baby juice of any kind for gas. What the other mothers have said is true, babies should only have breastmilk or formula, to get the essential nutrients they need to stay healthy and grow. As an aside, you'll be pleased to learn that if you are breastfeeding already, breastmilk is the best thing for producing myelin, also known as white matter, the insulator on neural pathways. Once a pathway in the brain is fully myelinated, one can never forget how to do something. Also, when myelin and endorphins are combined, the myelin is laid thicker and faster on the pathways, so learning takes place faster and more efficiently.

I know I've given you a long reply with lots of extra added, but I hope it helps with your decision. I figure that the more informed we are, the better decisions we can make. All the best


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## zenaviva (Jun 22, 2013)

Just another vote to say that a two month old is a TINY, tiny person who is not capable of working through things like tummy aches by themselves. They might fall asleep from pure exhaustion, but that doesn't sound like a very pleasant time to me. Is there any way to fit the crib into your bedroom, maybe? I've always had my kids in our bedroom until they were about a year, and then they moved to their own rooms because they were such light sleepers that they slept better in the quiet of their own space. But I think two months is very, very tiny to move into a separate room. I'm not judging those who make that work for them, I'm sure some baby-parent dyads/triads need that configuration, but all things considered, I wouldn't be a fan of that arrangement at all.


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## mama24-7 (Aug 11, 2004)

Gas/vomitting/GI issues are a symptom of a larger problem. PErhaps due to western medicine's tendency to see things in isolation, we no longer realize this. ONly one post above discussed food eliminations during breastfeeding. I'd have absolutely no idea what to suggest in a FF'ing infant in terms of eliminations. An intolerance of a food or foods in a bf'ing mother or an ingredient or ingredients in artificial milk is one cause of GI issues (as well as other things like eczema, cradle cap, other skin issues, behavioral issues, sleep issues, etc.); tongue tie is another.

Only in western society is where baby sleeps even a question. In most of the rest of the world, they do not have the luxury of multiple rooms for people to sleep separately.

My situation was very similar when I was a new mom. My instincts & my body were saying to keep my baby close but everything/everyone else was telling me that I shouldn't be (except the moms at LLL meetings - I credit them for keeping me sane during it all & had we not gone to an LLL conference when dd was 15 months old, I'd either be divorced or the mom of one - I'm still married & have three children). Western society is hell bent on separating moms & babies. The whole society is set up that way & when you do it differently, you or your child are called names ("mama's boy!). Well, look at how sick, mentally & physically, we are. Is separation really in the best interest of any of us? I think not.

Navigating the world of new motherhood isn't easy. While I would love to do it over to not make the same mistakes, I also wouldn't want to go through it all again. If the OP hasn't been to an LLL meeting yet, it can be a place to find like-minded mamas in real life. It can be very helpful to be among their company.

Best wishes,

Sus


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## KSLaura (Jan 22, 2007)

You should definately cuddle with him as much as possible while he's little. Someday he'll grow up and find a new girl to cuddle with.


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## DHinJersey (Jan 11, 2013)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *KSLaura*
> 
> You should definately cuddle with him as much as possible while he's little. Someday he'll grow up and find a new girl to cuddle with.


Or boy.


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## momma-bear (Sep 17, 2012)

We cosleep with our twins. But sometimes it's nice to have private time in bed. I think some Dads are nervous that cosleeping will put an end to intimacy. If we need that time together and the babes are already asleep, we lay them down in their crib with the baby monitor on. Then when they wake up I can hear them before they start to cry and bring them to bed with us. Just an idea. But baby's needs do come first. Snuggle that LO every chance you have. <3


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## sirena rose (Jun 6, 2013)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Homeschool Mum*
> 
> Thanks to MRI scanning, we can now see the effects of different forms of parenting and how they impact on brain development.


Wow, this sounds like a fascinating study - where can I see the link?

My father was lecturing me yesterday about the fact that I'm *still* (safely, I add) co-sleeping with my daughter (she's not even 2 months old yet). He said, "You not supposed to do that" ... I would love to show him some scientific studies about why I am raising his granddaughter like I am. A shame we need studies in our modern society that say it's okay for a mother to cuddle her tiny baby at night







... but glad these reports are coming out about the benefits of instinctual parenting.

For the OP, maybe sharing with her husband that six-month roomsharing stat/recommendation about avoiding SIDS would be a good way to broach the subject. It is nice to have intuition and science aligned.


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## Asiago (Jul 1, 2009)

I can't answer about that particular study but there is also info out of Harvard and University Notre Dame.

http://www.news.harvard.edu/gazette/1998/04.09/ChildrenNeedTou.html

http://cosleeping.nd.edu/


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## Xerxella (Feb 6, 2008)

There's a great book on the whole topic. The Science of Parenting by Margot Sunderland. It has all the links to the studies in the book.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Science-Parenting-Margot-Sunderland/dp/075663993X


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## sirena rose (Jun 6, 2013)

Thanks for the responses! I will look into these studies.


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## Makeeba (Jun 24, 2013)

we do too.

no harm at all.

just a happy baby.


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## FlintDoula (Feb 11, 2013)

Co-sleeping simply isn't safe and anyone who claims otherwise clearly hasn't researched it enough.

I di agree with keeping baby in the same room with you when you sleep, someone mentioned SIDS and having the baby in your room with you will help give you peace of mind. I suggest keeping the crib in your room.


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## mama24-7 (Aug 11, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *FlintDoula*
> 
> Co-sleeping simply isn't safe and anyone who claims otherwise clearly hasn't researched it enough.


Um, welcome to MDC.

Co-sleeping isn't safe? How do you explain the fact that most of the rest of the world does it? What about it isn't safe? How do you explain the lives & well being of my three children if co-sleeping isn't safe? Have you read, "Sleeping with Your Baby," by Dr. James McKenna? Have you heard of Dr. James McKenna? What research are you expecting people to find to prove co-sleeping isn't safe? Do you have children?

Okay, that's all that's come to me in the first two minutes of pondering this post.







I look forward to hearing more from you about this topic.

Best wishes,

Sus


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## FlintDoula (Feb 11, 2013)

Don't get me wrong I'm very much a "crunchy" "hippie" kinda person but I just trust the AAP and the CPSC more than I do SLIGHTLY biased studies. I don't think its an epidemic or anything but its not far to call something safe when it is the reason for the dealth of infants.

To answer more personal questions I am doing relative care for my two little cousins (aged 4 & 5) and have been for the past two years and will most likely adopt them this year. No I don't not have my own kids yet but we are TTC.

Why do you ask?


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## FlintDoula (Feb 11, 2013)

Sorry smartphone won't let me edit far to fair.


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## Asiago (Jul 1, 2009)

Safe Co-sleeping Guidelines for anyone who may be considering co-sleeping. Since we live in a culture where co-sleeping, nor breastfeeding, is not the norm, many parents may not realize all of these safety factors.

*http://cosleeping.nd.edu/safe-co-sleeping-guidelines/*


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## rachelsmama (Jun 20, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *FlintDoula*
> 
> Don't get me wrong I'm very much a "crunchy" "hippie" kinda person but I just trust the AAP and the CPSC more than I do SLIGHTLY biased studies. I don't think its an epidemic or anything but *its not far to call something safe when it is the reason for the dealth of infants.*
> 
> ...


By that logic, no infants should be sleeping in cribs either since so many have died in them. SIDS even used to be called crib-death.

eta: The reason for the recommendation to keep the baby in the parents' room isn't parental "peace of mind", it's to lower the risk of SIDS.


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## fruitfulmomma (Jun 8, 2002)

Quote:


> Co-sleeping simply isn't safe and anyone who claims otherwise clearly hasn't researched it enough.


Or we have researched plenty and come to different conclusions than you.

By the way, co-sleeping comes in many forms, including the form you recommended of keeping the crib in the room with the parents. What you are saying isn't safe is bedsharing.


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## FlintDoula (Feb 11, 2013)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *fruitfulmomma*
> 
> Or we have researched plenty and come to different conclusions than you.
> 
> By the way, co-sleeping comes in many forms, including the form you recommended of keeping the crib in the room with the parents. What you are saying isn't safe is bedsharing.


I didn't intend on offending anyone. I don't define sharing a room as "cosleeping" just as sharing a room but I'm sorry if I've hit a nerve it was clearly unintentional. I also don't think that people who beshare are bad parents or that they are going to truly do something to hurt their babys.

The fact is (on average) 50 babys die each year from BESHARING related injuries. If as a parent that is a number you can live with and you think the benefits out weigh the risk by all means that is your choice. I just don't like people claming it is not at all dangerous or unsafe because it is not a true fact. Kids 2 years and older is a much different conversation as well. The first 6 months I had my little cousins with me (they where 3 & 4 at the time) they beshared with me at night until they felt safe enough to go to their room.

I agree with you that we obviously came to a different conclusion. My question to everyone who has done the research and come to the conclusion that bedsharing is safe, how do you justify calling something safe if it kills an average of 50 infants in America each year?

Once again so there are no hurt feelings I don't think it is wrong I just wouldn't personally take the risk myself.


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## fruitfulmomma (Jun 8, 2002)

Quote:


> how do you justify calling something safe if it kills an average of 50 infants in America each year?


I don't want to highjack this thread. Maybe you can start another one if you want to discuss it in detail.

But a few quick thoughts... that number actually seems lower to me than I would think it would be. We had at least 6 in our county and the county next to us last year.

What were the circumstances surrounding the deaths? There are very clear guidelines for safe bedsharing and when those are not followed the deaths go up very high.

How many crib deaths were there in the last year?


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## fruitfulmomma (Jun 8, 2002)

Here, I started a new thread... http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1385612/is-bedsharing-safe


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## mama24-7 (Aug 11, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *FlintDoula*
> 
> Don't get me wrong I'm very much a "crunchy" "hippie" kinda person but I just trust the AAP and the CPSC more than I do SLIGHTLY biased studies. I don't think its an epidemic or anything but its not far to call something safe when it is the reason for the dealth of infants.
> 
> ...


I don't think a label is necessary, but thanks for trying to help me understand. Others have answered more succinctly than I'm about to do, but I'll respond to each point. The AAP? WHo are they? They are a bunch of doctors, most of whom know nothing of raising infants/children in a normal way. THey don't know about breastfeeding. They don't know about nutrition. They don't know about safe co-sleeping. Most of them have not breastfed (or their spouses have not), haven't studied nutrition & haven't studied normal human behavior. I'm not putting them down. This simply isn't their training & unless they have an interest that leads them to do it on their own, they don't. They are busy people! They are also a product of their CULTure & therefore tend to blow the way the wind does.

In many areas of our society, we tell people what not to do instead of educating them on doing things safely. This is a prime example of it. There's warnings in many places on the dangers of co-sleeping (which is a blanket term which may or may not include things like bed-sharing) rather than an explanation of what things can be done in order to co-sleep safely. I've seen this tactic used in other areas as well. I read a blog post from a small babywearing company about the dangers of buying used carriers. She missed a great opportunity to educate parents on what to look for to make babywearing safe if you choose to purchase carriers second had &, 'hey, when you want to buy new, buy from us!" You will even hear parents doing this all the time: "NO!, don't touch that!!!" rather than the parent bending down a teaching the child to touch the breakable thing gently. It's all over the place.

The CPSC - isn't that the group that represents and/or makes cribs? Not an unbiased organization. They loose money on every family who chooses not to purchase their products.

I'm not sure what infant deaths you are referring to, but I know that very often, when a child dies in an UNsafe co-sleeping situation, it's referred to as SIDS. SIDS is unexplained. WHen a child dies on a couch, the cause of death is not unexplained. Again, fear mongering are used to try to discourage a practice that is normal for humans & has been a part of our collective lives for the majority of human history. I am not saying that there's never been a child to die of true SIDS during safe co-sleeping. I do know that far more babies die alone in their rooms than die when co-sleeping or bed-sharing safely.

That is awesome that you are caring for your young cousins.







I'm sure they are very lucky to have you!!!







I asked because prior to becoming a parent, we often think things have to be a certain way w/ children. Once we have them, we're usually humbled by something we professed before their arrival. I know for myself, co-sleeping/bed-sharing was NOT a part of my plan. I had planned to have my child in a crib in their own room from the first day home from the hospital. Little did I know that she would have her own plans & that nursing for 1.5 hours out of every 2 around the clock would mean virtually no sleep for me if I tried to put her down. It all worked out okay though once I realized that what she wanted was normal & in both our best interests.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Asiago*
> 
> Safe Co-sleeping Guidelines for anyone who may be considering co-sleeping. Since we live in a culture where co-sleeping, nor breastfeeding, is not the norm, many parents may not realize all of these safety factors.
> 
> *http://cosleeping.nd.edu/safe-co-sleeping-guidelines/*


Didn't read the link, but thanks for posting info on safe co-sleeping!!!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *rachelsmama*
> 
> By that logic, no infants should be sleeping in cribs either since so many have died in them. SIDS even used to be called crib-death.
> 
> eta: The reason for the recommendation to keep the baby in the parents' room isn't parental "peace of mind", it's to lower the risk of SIDS.


Yeah, the recommendation to avoid co-sleeping/bed-sharing is not based on logic. It's based on the thinking that parents can't be taught how to do it safely so we'll say to just avoid it all together. Kind of along the same lines of the flawed logic behind, "an intact penis isn't clean!" Right, "we can't teach him to clean it so we'll just chop it off!" No







thank you!

Best wishes,

Sus


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## ValerieMarie (Jun 18, 2013)

Thank you all for your thoughts and opinions. I have been taking everything into consideration and have decided that keeping him in his bassinet is the best choice for both of us. I would like him to stay close for as long as possible, but do not feel moving his crib into my room is necessary. Especially since he still fits quite nicely in the bassinet. I spoke with my husband, and let him read some of these posts, and he is starting to understand where I am coming from. I love the idea of cosleeping for as long as possible, because I think it not only improves the bond I have with him, but (like a few of you mentioned) he's too young to manipulate me. He cries for a reason and he needs to know that mommy will be there for him no matter what. I enjoy having him there, too, just so I can wake up and see him sleeping. It's not just for his sake, it's also for my own sanity lol.


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## ValerieMarie (Jun 18, 2013)

And in response to the gas... I have changed doctors and he agreed with what everyone here is saying. I didn't realize what an impact juice was having on my little guys tummy. He suggested I stop everything I'm doing and let him clear his system out. I'm happy to announce that he's finally going poo on a daily basis now  he still has some trouble getting it out, but he's doing much better. The doctor suggested using these gas drops (found at Walmart) that I can add right to his bottles, but since I've stopped using juice I don't think I'll need them!! It's amazing how advice from one person can really cause such big problems for such a tiny boy! I'm so glad I went on here for everyone's help. Otherwise I'd probably still have the same doctor and my poor little guy would probably be sucking down prune juice right now! Lol


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## Asiago (Jul 1, 2009)

Wonderful update ValerieMarie! Enjoy your little sweetheart, glad he is feeling better too.


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## sageowl (Nov 16, 2010)

I've never used a crib, I like sleeping with my babies, and it's so much easier to have them right next to you.


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## ValerieMarie (Jun 18, 2013)

I have had so many nightmares about sleeping with my baby. ..him falling off the bed ..breaking his neck. ..or me squishing him and not knowing till I wake up. But I have to admit, even with the nightmares, I know that I wake up to every single little tiny peep he makes, even if it's just him readjusting his blanket...so I've slept in bed a few times with him. It's really nice to be able to cuddle up with him like that. But I don't want to make it something he *needs* bc he should be able to fall asleep without me being there by his side.
Quote:


> Originally Posted by *sageowl*
> 
> I've never used a crib, I like sleeping with my babies, and it's so much easier to have them right next to you.


have you had any problems "breaking" your children from sleeping with you? How did you deal with that when it came time to put them in their own room? (I assume you don't still sleep with all your kids - unless your bed is huge! Lol)


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## sageowl (Nov 16, 2010)

No, not really. Not any worse than the transition you have to do eventually from the crib to the bed around age 2. I think it's easier actually because they're older, and weren't traumatized by early separation, at a time when they couldn't understand it, if that makes any sense. Most of the people I know who have serious bedtime drama are the ones who did the whole cry it out thing.


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## sageowl (Nov 16, 2010)

If you want details, you can PM me...


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