# 5-year-old pee accidents, scared of the dark, gah!



## CurlyTop (Jun 18, 2003)

Dear Everyone,

I need a hug! My daughter will be 5 in a few weeks. She is constantly having "pee accidents" because she is afraid of being alone anywhere at all, and afraid of the dark. Soooooo..... "Mom! There aren't any clean panties!" is making me sooooo mad right now. I can't keep clean panties in her drawer because she uses so many pairs a day. Today she said, "Mooooooom (whiny), what ..." and I said, "I need you to pee in the toilet! From now on!!" which made her cry. "Now I know!" she said.









She pees the bed because she is afraid to get up and go to the bathroom. We put a dimmer in her bathroom so she can leave it on all night. She has so many night lights you can read by them at night in her room. She shares her room & bathroom with her twin sister, so she is NEVER ALONE. But she whines about being scared and pees in her panties.... oh, man, this is getting so old.


----------



## ShadowMom (Jun 25, 2004)

This might be a really silly idea, but could you get some walkie talkies and when she gets scared at night you could come help her to the bathroom?

Maybe you could cut down on her evening fluids and have her go right before bedtime? Some kids don't have to pee at night, some do, she might just be one of those that does.

I can understand your frustration, but she must really be terrified if she's just peeing her bed instead of going to the bathroom, I would think. I remember being scared of the dark as a kid and... I would just get TERRIFIED. The dark can really be scary.


----------



## CurlyTop (Jun 18, 2003)

Thanks Kay (where's my hug







) for your advice. I sleep in her room very often - so she could wake me to go with her. However, she wakes me saying, "Mom. I had a pee accident." I think her body doesn't wake her to let her know. I usually take her to the toilet when I go to bed (a few hours after her). She also doesn't have much to drink past dinner time.

I know she is really really scared. She is scared to go anywhere alone. It is really strange- it's been six months or so that she's afraid a monster will come and get her. She sleeps on top of her covers, with just a blankie because she is afraid something will come up from under the sheets and bite her. She doesn't like to go to the bathroom because a monster might come and bite her. I tell her all the time, this is YOUR house where you've lived all your life. Monsters are NOT allowed here, she knows every inch of this place, and my hope for her is that she'll be able to feel safe at home.








:


----------



## carolynrosa (Apr 11, 2005)

sounds like me when I was a kid. I peed the bed almost every night for YEARS, and didn't completely stop until I was 12! I had high separation anxiety (mom couldn't even grocery shop without me), too. It's likely that she's scared of the dark. But it's just as likely that she isn't waking up until after she wets herself and she says it's because she's afraid of the dark because she feels like she has to have an excuse. Some kids just can't control their night-peeing until they are older.
What helped me was a NO liquid rule for three hours before bed. I had to have my last drink before that and then no more drinks at all until morning. And I was reminded to pee right before bed, too. I was expected to help strip the bed and wash the sheets, but I wasn't made to feel ashamed about it.
Tell her she'll grow out of it eventually, but until then she has to follow a few rules and promise to keep trying.

I eventually outgrew all those problems, and I'm perfectly normal and well-adjusted now. It's hard, but she will probably be fine later.
Good luck.


----------



## CurlyTop (Jun 18, 2003)

Thank you so much! I was just thinking last night that I'd feel better if she helped with the extra washing. She would Love to help, too, because she is at that age where she wants to do what I do. So, I will get her help (without any shame, naturally!) and that will be a win-win. Thanks for your post.


----------



## Lisa85 (May 22, 2006)

Have you talked to her dr. about it? I don't know the details, but dh's friend's ds was having to go all.the.time. It ended up being some medical problem and is fixed by medication. I don't think it was anything serious, just more annoying. Dh's friend (the kid's dad) also has it, but I don't think he does much about it as I see him ALWAYS running to the bathroom. Might be worth checking it out just to have that piece of mind.

And ditto what the others have said. She's old enough now to change her clothes and whatever she's peed on by herself, although might need help changing sheets and such. Have her throw her underwear in with whatever laundry your doing that day (rahter than waiting for a full load of whites) so she is less likely to run out.

Maybe even waking her in the middle of the night in case she doesn't wake up in time and take her would help? A PITA, but much easier than changing sheets in the middle of teh night.


----------



## PumpkinSeeds (Dec 19, 2001)

Why don't you take her to the bathroom before you go to bed every night? (we go to bed much later than our kids) That way she gets a guaranteed bathroom break every night.


----------

