# co-sleeping with 6 month old who nurses to sleep



## NJKim (Jun 4, 2007)

6 month old DS goes to bed between 7-8pm. I lie down next to him and nurse him to sleep. I go back downstairs and he typically wakes up every 30 min so I have to go back up to nurse him back to sleep each time until I go to bed around 10pm. Occasionally he'll wake up after only 15 min, and occasionally he'll sleep a whole hour. Does anyone else do this? Will it get better?

If I keep him downstairs and have him fall asleep on my lap if we're watching a movie or something, he'll stay asleep so I know that's always an option but it would be nice to be able to put DS to bed and be able spend time with my husband until we go to bed.


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## Chloe'sMama (Oct 14, 2008)

I have a 5 month old that I nurse to sleep, but she lets me sneak out of the room after she is drifting off to sleep. I wait quite a while after her mouth goes limp before I try and sneak out, so she is pretty much out by the time I leave.
I don't know if it will get worse as she gets older, but since waiting in bed with her for about 20 minutes, she only wakes up again if something scares her or if her teeth(ing) hurt.


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## calebsmommy25 (Aug 23, 2008)

You are not alone Mama! My guy is just turning 7 months and will not go to sleep without nursing. I can't get him to lay down alone for a long duration either. I normally nurse him using a pillow and will sneak away with the pillow still partially under him, either on the couch or on the bed. I never go far, so either is safe for us. Keeping our 'nursing' pillow close to him and sneaking away has always done it for us...granted it doesn't mean he is going to sleep for a super long time, but it normally buys us some.

If I hold him after nursing, he will sleep for hours. He is attached to his Mommy...it is quite bittersweet at times, but would never give it up. His dad can get him down easier, and he'll fall asleep for him without to much of a fuss, but he doesn't have the built in mama milk either. lol. The hard thing with that is dad doesn't get home from work until late at night, so it isn't really an option all the time.

Everytime I get frustrated about needing some time free of him, I take a deep breath and try to cherish these needy moments because there will be a time when he won't want me or need me to put him to sleep. When I think of this...it puts things into perspective and makes me realize that this won't last forever and when it is over I will want it back. So, the best thing I have come up with for 'free-me' time is to enjoy a movie, magazine, or some computer time while he is snoozing in my lap. As far as time with the hubby, still trying to get that one down.


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## GooeyRN (Apr 24, 2006)

We are still dealing with it at 11 months..


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## NewMama08 (Aug 8, 2008)

We're in the same boat! DS is just over 7 months. He nurses to sleep and I put him in his crib (he starts the night there- kind of at least)- he stays there for anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour - which is hopefully enough time for me to eat dinner (we have to time it right!). Then I usually bring him out to the living room and he nurses and snoozes while DH and I get some quiet TV time. It is only the three of us, so it works for now - although it is a pain when we have family visiting, for instance. Or maybe not... last weekend my in-laws were visiting and I would go back in the bedroom to nurse him to sleep in our bed after he woke up the first time - and we both fell asleep! Each night!


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## editornj (Jan 4, 2008)

Same exact here and DS 8 months. Things fluctuate with teething, runny nose, etc.

This is something I've noticed, though. If DS is warm, he'll sleep a little longer. I never know how to dress him, since I join him in the bed a few hours after he goes to sleep. And when we sleep together he'll sometimes sweat. Anyway, maybe dressing him warmly makes him feel like he's against a warm body? Who knows.

Oh, and another thing I've noticed. I rock/nurse him to sleep then put him in a pack n play in the living room. I dim all the lights in the house, and go about cleaning, relaxing, going on the computer, etc., and somehow he sleeps longer stretches (an hour?) out here with a little bit of noise. Go figure.

I wish I had an answer for you.


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## NJKim (Jun 4, 2007)

LOL I guess I'm not really expecting "an answer", just knowing that others are going through the same thing is nice







And I agree, in a few years, I'll miss this whole scenario, so I might as well just go with the flow of my sweet little baby boy.


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## trillian11 (Apr 13, 2008)

Yeah, my guy is 6.5 months old, and I've been nursing him down on our bed for the past month or so around 7:15 -- he usually wakes up every 45 minutes or so (normal sleep cycle), and I nurse him back down again, which only takes like 10 minutes. We co-sleep from about 11:00 on.

But tonight?? He's still asleep, 2.5 hours after I first put him down!! I'm blown away. I actually snuck in there to check on him to make sure he's ok


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## Twinklefae (Dec 13, 2006)

I found it so frustrating that I gave up until he was able to stay asleep for longer periods. For us that started around the 1 year mark. Now I nurse him down and he generally stays asleep for 3 hours or so. By the time he wakes up, it's time for me to take im to bed with me.


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## LCBMAX (Jun 18, 2008)

Same here, but less so in the past 6 weeks (son is now 9+ months.) The darkest hour was just before the dawn, or -- the hardest nights were just before the pattern changed again. At the worst, I would go in every half hour for a half hour of re-putting down. I would come back out to the living room and cry for the little time I had to spend as a grown up. Things that seem to help now (then, I think it was just what had to happen for that growth spurt, and I wish I had just submitted and gone to bed with the baby tucked up against me at 6:30pm):

a warm hot water bottle inside a fuzzy cat gizmo that I tuck down by his legs and bottom so there is still a warm pressure when I get up

tucking his blanket between his skin and mine so there is no change in temperature when I move away

keeping the room around 70 F and the humidifier running up to 50%

sending dad in at the first sign of a waking to try to intervene -- most of the time he can pat or jiggle son back down, and when that doesn't work, I go in quickly to nurse so as to avoid a big wake up

Good luck - I bet it will change soon.


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## lobster (Mar 6, 2006)

Reading this thread makes me smile. My DS used to be this way, nursing to sleep and waking every half-hour or so until I came to bed for the night. I would get so frustrated at having to go back in so often to put him back to sleep! But now that he's 2 and sleeps like a log whether I'm with him or not, I miss those days when he needed me in that way. It already seems so long ago, and like such a short time in his life. I wish I had appreciated it more at the time.

With DD (almost 7 months), I've haven't given any thought to trying to get her to sleep without me. It just doesn't happen, so she sleeps in the mei tai or the Ergo while I go about my evening. I cherish this time I have to snuggle with her and keep her close - before long she'll be off and running and I'll miss these cold nights with a warm baby sleeping on my body.


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## Dreamy (Jun 1, 2007)

Your OP sounds exactly what we're experiencing here. He'll go down, sleep 30 minutes, need to be put back to sleep, sleep 30 minutes, stay awake for 40 minutes, sleep 30 minutes... I go to bed right after his late 10:30-11 wakeup, where I nurse him and put him in his crib, then go join DH for a cuddle. He'll then sleep until 12:30-1:00, when I bring him into bed with me. Once I do that, he'll sleep 5-6 hours straight.

When I'm alone in the evening and just want to relax, I'll let him sleep on my lap and he'll sleep through until I go to bed!

Overall, evenings aren't always relaxing, but I love that my presence helps him sleep so well


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## wendypf (Aug 23, 2008)

What is the temperature in the room? DD sleeps ok with out me in bed, but its much warmer when I'm in bed with her. Since its been chillier, she's been waking more quickly at night. I put baby legs on her arms at night and take them off when I get in bed and thats helped -- or she decided to sleep better without me


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## katybird (Apr 23, 2008)

Same thing with my 6 month old--I'm glad to know I'm not the only one. It has been better just this week and it's hard to say why--he used to wake up after 45 mins and just want to be awake and hang out with us...then he went to waking up every 45 mins and needing to be nursed or rocked back to sleep. Now he can go an hour and a half or so--just the last few nights. So, maybe it just gets better with maturity? It is really frustrating, for sure, not to have the adult evening time with my husband--but I find the more I can surrender to the things I can't change, the happier I am as a mother. Good luck!


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## Artichokie (Jun 19, 2007)

My 10 mo old nurses to sleep. I figure that it is a stage in life that will be gone all too soon, so we have adapted for now. I nurse her to sleep, and then sit on the bed with my DH and we read and talk quietly, or use the internet (and chat to each other on facebook, lol). I know some couples watch DVDs on their laptops with this arrangement, using earbuds to listen to the movie.


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## LuluMama (Jan 8, 2008)

My little guy will be 1 soon and it's still like this. Like the others, when I feel like I need time to myself I look at my almost 4 year old and remind myself how fast it (has and) will go by...I was actually starting to feel anxious about it this week so I specifically came to this board for some support and like minded mamas!

Haha, I can't believe it's been almost a year now of me and the baby (and now my husband) coming to bed early evening. We just go online, watch tv, read or doze and it's so cozy and actually keeps the heating bill down since the rest of the house can be cooler!


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## BeanyMama (Jul 25, 2006)

All of mine have done this







I just nursed them back down and tried not to go crazy. If we're watching a movie I'll just hold DD while she sleeps. Like PPs have said, it doesn't last (mine first two are rock sleepers now!) and you'll have such fond memories of doing that soon


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## MoonWillow (May 24, 2006)

I'd just keep him with me until I went to bed but I'm super lazy


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## Theoretica (Feb 2, 2008)

Too tired to give details but mine is 7mos and it's the same here


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## ~savah~ (Aug 24, 2008)

We're in the same boat, except now DD won't go to sleep in the living room with the tv on. Before when I wanted to watch a movie I would just let her sleep in my lap, now it's put her down and make frequent trips to the bedroom







it sure is nice to know that I'm not the only one. Like others I'm sure I'll miss it when she doesn't need me as much, maybe it will be new baby time then, lol jk.


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## Lizafava (Nov 28, 2004)

My 5mo is like this. So was DS1. But, it has suddenly morphed into DS2 not sleeping *period* until I go to bed. So, now he sleeps with me from like 11:00 and then after I get up until 10:00 or so. Its crazy making having no alone time. On the other hand, he is generally in a good mood, and after living through DS1's terrible high-needs infancy, I am trying to roll with these minor punches. What I don't understand is why he can nap my himself for hours at a time, but can't sleep alone in the evening for even 10 minutes. Silly babies!!! And at night he has to be glued to me. Other times of the day he sleeps really well on his tummy (







)


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## Dolphin (Apr 22, 2004)

From someone who has btdt, I can say for certain that yes, it does get better







And yes, you might just miss the snuggle time. My first did this until he was at least over a year, but he's 5.5 now and sleeps like a rock. DS2 is a little less frequent, but it is so much easier to not get stressed about it knowing that it does change. Hang in there


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## celia (Apr 22, 2005)

I didn't read all the replies yet. I just wanted to say I came on this forum looking for advice on almost exactly that situation. My six month old also nurses to sleep. I spend long peaceful nights with him snuggled up close to me and we both love it-- BUT.... I do wish I could have my evenings free. Just a couple of hours. I usually nurse him to sleep around 7:30 or 8, then lay him in the crib. He's up sometimes within MINUTES, sometimes 15-20 minutes if I'm lucky. We repeat this until 10 or so when I lay down with him for the night. My three year old is asleep by 8:30 so this is the only time I really have for ME time... I don't need long. I just want time to have some tea, get a few chores done and read for awhile.


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## lucy8180 (Dec 3, 2008)

my 6 month old does almost the exact same thing, except lately she won't even let me put her down at all. if i bring her downstairs at all she wakes up and wants to play. i don't know the last time my husband and me had an hour of time together without the baby. i just keep telling myself that eventually she will outgrow it and i hope that it is before another baby comes along. my other problem is that my mom is obsessed with my daughter's sleeping and it always makes me feel bad when she asks or tells me how great a sleeper someone's baby is...oh well.


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## ~patty (May 8, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lobster* 
Reading this thread makes me smile. My DS used to be this way, nursing to sleep and waking every half-hour or so until I came to bed for the night. I would get so frustrated at having to go back in so often to put him back to sleep! But now that he's 2 and sleeps like a log whether I'm with him or not, I miss those days when he needed me in that way. It already seems so long ago, and like such a short time in his life. I wish I had appreciated it more at the time.

With DD (almost 7 months), I've haven't given any thought to trying to get her to sleep without me. It just doesn't happen, so she sleeps in the mei tai or the Ergo while I go about my evening. I cherish this time I have to snuggle with her and keep her close - before long she'll be off and running and I'll miss these cold nights with a warm baby sleeping on my body.


Thanks for sharing this. I am in the same boat as these ladies and somedays I just want to scream. I keep second guessing our bedtime "routine" but I need to remember that this isn't going to go on FOREVER.


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