# Straight Talk : Sex with Foreskin



## Jeanne D'Arc (Apr 7, 2007)

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Ok ladies, those of you who have experienced both ( circed and uncirced ) lets have it.

Is there that much of an intelligeable difference between the two?

Or men, does your woman respond better after restoration?

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## tamagotchi (Oct 16, 2005)

To be honest, every time this question comes up, it bothers me more. I feel that the discussion objectifies men. Imagine a bunch of men sitting around saying, "What do you think, is it more fun to have sex with an intact woman or a circ'd woman?" It would be the wrong question to ask. Whatever the answer, it would be irrelevant to whether women have a right to their own intact genitals.

I've been with an embarrassingly large number of both circ'd and intact men. There's a lot of variation in men, just like there is in women. Some intact men were very compatible with me sexually, and some circ'd men were very compatible with me sexually. It depends on a lot more than just the circ. Men are different in size and shape, "staying power," technique, etc.

I had great sex with a man who had a botched circ. It was a very tight circ with a big skin bridge that made his penis all twisty. That twisty penis touched me in all the right places. Sex with him was lots of fun for me, but it was still wrong that he had been modified in that way without his consent.

I often hear an intactivist "party line" that says that "intact men are _always_ better lovers," and I think this is counterproductive. I think it makes the intactivist position seem less believable to women who have had great experiences with circ'd partners in the past. I think it can also unnecessarily harm womens' relationships with their existing circ'd partners (and the majority of American women do have circ'd partners).

I think it is better to discuss "How does an intact penis function differently from a circ'd penis?" or "How does the foreskin function?" etc. without getting into "which is better."


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## Fi. (May 3, 2005)

Physically yes, an intact penis functions and has a leg up (so to speak) on a circed one.

Take 2 guys that are absolutely awful, sexually incompatible with you, etc and the intact penis will still feel better physically. Does that mean it'll be a better EXPERIENCE? Not necessarily. But from a physical standpoint alone, 2 men that are the same size with equal skill (or lackthereof), compatibility, etc...the intact will likely just feel nicer.


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## Nathan1097 (Nov 20, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Briseis_of.Troy* 
*

Ok ladies, those of you who have experienced both ( circed and uncirced ) lets have it.

Is there that much of an intelligeable difference between the two?

Or men, does your woman respond better after restoration?

*

I've posted here before about this, but I'll give a short answer - as it is early.









Yes, intact is "that much" different! It glides, so that he can move in you without pulling on your parts. In other words, he's not dragging your skin with him. (OUCH!) Plus, the actual sex is different. Partly, because he is more sensitive and therefore likely to be more gentle (Though he doesn't have to), and partly because - with the gliding, he can stay inside and just "massage". Circ'd men have to take really long strokes... Anyway, in my personal opinion, it is MUCH better. So much easier to "get lost", when you aren't suddenly mixing pleasure with (unexpected) pain!

However, I will say that there is a huge element of compatibility- sexually, and mentally- but if all that were equal anyway and you are comparing the same man circ'd vs. intact (using ONLY those), then yes, it is different. I have had a circ'd man look at me like I had three heads, when I demonstrated how to be "gentle" and "nuanced". It was as if the concept did not register with him, because he- physically- could not understand.


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## Greg B (Mar 18, 2006)

I think Tamagotchi has a very valid point. The question needs to have the reason for asking explained.

Both my wife and i noticed a significant difference after I was partially into restoring my foreskin. I mya have been predisposed to finding a difference, but she was expecting not ot find any difference. so she was surprised and amazed.

In my mind the difference is big enough that I am sure i am not seeing any placebo effect. So ye sit makes a big difference.

That said, however, there is a lot more to sex than a penis with or without foreskin. So in a sense it is immaterial, the relationship is far more important and has can have a much greater effect.

Regards


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## phatchristy (Jul 6, 2005)

I can concurr, restoration makes a difference here for the woman as well. Things are more glidy, less irritation, more comfortable all around. It just "removes" some of the non-pleasurable sensations so that it feels like "all pleasure."

The gliding mechanism makes a BIG difference for the man, and definitely makes a difference for the woman as well. DH started off with no mobile skin at all, now easily mobile over and the glans. There are whole sensations that didn't exist for him before that do now. Which is sad! (though, obviously we're happy about it now!).

There have been plenty of threads about this subject before.

Here's a thread which talks about more of this in detail:

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=709119


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## Blarg (Oct 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tamagotchi* 
To be honest, every time this question comes up, it bothers me more. I feel that the discussion objectifies men. Imagine a bunch of men sitting around saying, "What do you think, is it more fun to have sex with an intact woman or a circ'd woman?" It would be the wrong question to ask. Whatever the answer, it would be irrelevant to whether women have a right to their own intact genitals.

As a (very regretfully) circed guy, I thank you for pointing that out. It seriously bothers me when I feel like people are making male circ decisions based on female pleasure. I find it significantly offensive and demeaning.
Consider that if (by some really messed up fluke of nature) _circed_ guys were more pleasurable for women, that wouldn't be a valid reason to circ. Likewise, although an intact penis may be more pleasurable to women, and although that is worth bringing into the discussion, in the end it shouldn't actually play a part in the decision making. Circumcision isn't about women.

However, in this case I'm pretty certain the OP is just asking the question out of curiosity rather than because it will be any sort of deciding factor in whether she circs her son or not. There's nothing wrong with wanting to know more about genitals!


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## dealic (Feb 25, 2007)

In my experience, this rubbing, pulling on the skin thing everyone refers to on a circ'ed penis is a very pleasurable part, one that I immediately noticed and enjoyed. So I guess it can go either way.


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## Lauren82 (Feb 26, 2007)

In general I'd have to say yes, intact has been my preference. It has never been a deciding factor in a partner though.







I'm very sensitive to friction "down there" and most artificial lubricants irritate my skin.

It really ticks me off that ANYONE has to deal with painful intercourse whether MALE or FEMALE because of circ.







:


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## KBecks (Jan 3, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tamagotchi* 

I often hear an intactivist "party line" that says that "intact men are _always_ better lovers," and I think this is counterproductive. I think it makes the intactivist position seem less believable to women who have had great experiences with circ'd partners in the past. I think it can also unnecessarily harm womens' relationships with their existing circ'd partners (and the majority of American women do have circ'd partners).

I think it is better to discuss "How does an intact penis function differently from a circ'd penis?" or "How does the foreskin function?" etc. without getting into "which is better."


ITA, I think good sex is much more about the whole man than his equipment.

But I understand why the question is asked. When I was researching circ I was very interested in how circ affects the sex life and concerned about my son's future sexual experiences. And with little penis experience, any information is helpful!!







Thanks for sharing your comments.


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## kldliam (Jan 7, 2006)

yep! Better for him and me.


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## baybee (Jan 24, 2005)

From personal experience, it becomes an even greater issue in your '40s and fifties (haven't reached my sixties yet.) As the woman goes through pre menopause and menopause, she becomes drier. The foreskin is designed by Nature to keep moisture inside the woman. With a cut man, there's a need to lubricate mid sex. It's also the source of huge frustration that the numbness in the penis makes it so that extraordinary lengths have to be gone to in order for the man to reach orgasm as he gets older. In my experience, genital mutilation takes something that should be very beautiful (sex) and makes it into a chore.

I think it's important to talk about this issue----to me, it's similar to men talking about "do you regret pushing your girlfriend to have her breasts augmented (or reduced). " Perhaps sharing the realities of these things can make it possible for us to learn from the experience of others. I know that I have learned so much about the effect of circumcision on my own sex life from others posting honestly on this forum. I blamed the fact that my sex life with my cut partner went from a healing, loving communion to a "chore" in ten years, on the fact that I was getting older. I know, for sure, now that it was because his idiot religious zealot mother had him butchered as a baby.
Maybe if I had known what you people have taught me in the past 3 years back then, we'd still be together and he'd be restoring.


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## hakunangovi (Feb 15, 2002)

Baybee's quote "From personal experience, it becomes an even greater issue in your '40s and fifties (haven't reached my sixties yet.) As the woman goes through pre menopause and menopause, she becomes drier. The foreskin is designed by Nature to keep moisture inside the woman. With a cut man, there's a need to lubricate mid sex. It's also the source of huge frustration that the numbness in the penis makes it so that extraordinary lengths have to be gone to in order for the man to reach orgasm as he gets older. In my experience, genital mutilation takes something that should be very beautiful (sex) and makes it into a chore"

THIS IS SO TRUE !!!!!


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## Fi. (May 3, 2005)

Quote:

In my experience, this rubbing, pulling on the skin thing everyone refers to on a circ'ed penis is a very pleasurable part
You enjoy tearing sensations, chafing of the outer lips, soreness, and burning?

If you say "that's not what I mean" then you aren't refering to the same rubbing and pulling that we are.


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## gottaknit (Apr 30, 2004)

Well I've only been with one intact man, and ahem... a few more circ'd men, but I'd say the intact one was definitely better. But then he was better in lots of other (non-sexual) ways, too, so.... who knows.







I try not to focus on why it was better with him, since it's not really productive. It's not DH's fault he's circed and there's not anything I can do about it.









Quote:

You enjoy tearing sensations, chafing of the outer lips, soreness, and burning?

If you say "that's not what I mean" then you aren't refering to the same rubbing and pulling that we are.








:
And I'm only in my 30's. It's gonna get worse with age, isn't it?







:


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## dealic (Feb 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Fi.* 
You enjoy tearing sensations, chafing of the outer lips, soreness, and burning?

If you say "that's not what I mean" then you aren't refering to the same rubbing and pulling that we are.

Well, of course it isn't exactly the same sensation. I thought that was apparent in my opposite opinion of the sensation. I just meant it was caused by the same thing (based on my research, as referenced by another thread on this topic).


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## Quindin (Aug 22, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lauren82* 
In general I'd have to say yes, intact has been my preference. It has never been a deciding factor in a partner though.







I'm very sensitive to friction "down there" and most artificial lubricants irritate my skin.


I know this is OT, but since others have also talked about dryness in this thread, I thought I should recommend 100% pure coconut oil (sold in most health and whole food stores). It is absolutely gentle and a lot more effective than any artificial product in the market.

Back to regular programming...









ETA - I can't comment on how different intact feels from circumcised. I have only been with DH, who is intact.


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## MyBoysBlue (Apr 27, 2007)

Thank Polihaupt for the coconut oil hint. I'll have to look into that. I have only been with my DH also, who is intact as well. I was kind of curious about whether or not I was getting the better deal. For the PP, It seems to me that the skill of the partner makes all the difference. So I guess I've got the best deal of all.







:


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## ErinsJuneBug (Nov 21, 2006)

although i am 100% against circumcision for my children - i HAVE been with one man who was intact....and it wasnt good. His foreskin was so loose that it amost ripped back and off when we had sex. He HAD to wear a condom every time because it hurt him so much. We dated for a long time and even talked that if we ever wanted to have children together he would have to poke holes in a condom to get me pregnant.


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## Nathan1097 (Nov 20, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ErinsJuneBug* 
although i am 100% against circumcision for my children - i HAVE been with one man who was intact....and it wasnt good. His foreskin was so loose that it amost ripped back and off when we had sex. He HAD to wear a condom every time because it hurt him so much. We dated for a long time and even talked that if we ever wanted to have children together he would have to poke holes in a condom to get me pregnant.

How was his foreskin both loose and ripping at the same time?


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## ErinsJuneBug (Nov 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Nathan1097* 
How was his foreskin both loose and ripping at the same time?









So loose that it would pull and pull and almost rip. I dont know if he just had very very loose foreskin but it makes me sad that this is the only experience i have had with an intact man.


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## Nathan1097 (Nov 20, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ErinsJuneBug* 
So loose that it would pull and pull and almost rip. I dont know if he just had very very loose foreskin but it makes me sad that this is the only experience i have had with an intact man.

I don't get it still. The skin on the penis is supposed to be loose. If it is loose, how would it rip? It should be mobile and therefore not have tension enough on it as to make it rip.


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## Yulia_R (Jan 7, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ErinsJuneBug* 
although i am 100% against circumcision for my children - i HAVE been with one man who was intact....and it wasnt good. His foreskin was so loose that it amost ripped back and off when we had sex. He HAD to wear a condom every time because it hurt him so much. We dated for a long time and even talked that if we ever wanted to have children together he would have to poke holes in a condom to get me pregnant.

Hm, I wonder what was the deal with him. This is definitely something very NOT normal. I have never heard of it.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *polihaupt* 
I know this is OT, but since others have also talked about dryness in this thread, I thought I should recommend 100% pure coconut oil (sold in most health and whole food stores). It is absolutely gentle and a lot more effective than any artificial product in the market.

Back to regular programming...









ETA - I can't comment on how different intact feels from circumcised. I have only been with DH, who is intact.

While I agree as far as coconut oil being a great lubricant, I'm surprised that you need a lubricant at all since your dh is intact. The only partner I ever needed a lubricant with is my dh who is cut







(he is also the only circ'd man I've been with). With all my ex-partners and ex-husband who all were intact I never needed one and wasn't sore afterwards as well. With dh we use lube, but I get very sore anyways







. The sensation and the movement is totally different as well and not in a good way. But this is not even what bothers me the most. I love this man so much, but there is just no such closeness as suppose to be during intact sex. Honestly, _it's just so different, emotionally and psychologically as well_...I so wish he was intact&#8230;

As for intact men, some of them suck at sex as well, of course. But it's definitely NOT because of the foreskin, but just _because some guys just suck at sex_. It also means that they would be so much worse if they were cut.

IMO, it is _*that much different*_ with intact penis&#8230;
yulia.


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## tamagotchi (Oct 16, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Yulia_R* 
While I agree as far as coconut oil being a great lubricant, I'm surprised that you need a lubricant at all since your dh is intact. The only partner I ever needed a lubricant with is my dh who is cut







(he is also the only circ'd man I've been with).

I've needed lube with some of my intact partners (but not all) and with some of my circ'd partners (but not all). My ex husband was intact and I always needed lube and was always sore anyway! My current husband is circ'd and I don't need lube, at least at this point in my life (FTR, I'm 41).

I'm sure that the foreskin helps somewhat to keep things moist in there, but it doesn't solve all problems with all men, unfortunately!


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## dealic (Feb 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ErinsJuneBug* 
although i am 100% against circumcision for my children - i HAVE been with one man who was intact....and it wasnt good. His foreskin was so loose that it amost ripped back and off when we had sex. He HAD to wear a condom every time because it hurt him so much. We dated for a long time and even talked that if we ever wanted to have children together he would have to poke holes in a condom to get me pregnant.

Oh, I forgot about that. Yes, I had that experience too, with the uncirc'ed man. Its like the skin was so loose that when it got moving it had too much momentum, then it hit the end, and pulled.


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## Quindin (Aug 22, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Yulia_R* 
While I agree as far as coconut oil being a great lubricant, I'm surprised that you need a lubricant at all since your dh is intact.

I never said we needed it! It is just a nice addition every now and then









Besides, I just happened to like body massages (and by that I mean WHOLE body massages...







: )


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## phatchristy (Jul 6, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ErinsJuneBug* 
So loose that it would pull and pull and almost rip. I dont know if he just had very very loose foreskin but it makes me sad that this is the only experience i have had with an intact man.

It sounds like the guy had aquired phimosis. Three years ago I met someone who was married to a man who had similar issues to what was written. She told me about it. I told her it didn't sound normal to me, and that he might have phimosis (it was my guess, told her to go to a doc). I DID tell her it could be cured without a circumcision (which her DH was deathly afraid of anyhow LOL







...and another doctor had suggested to him previously).

Anyhow, he went to a urologist who gave him some steroid cream. Sadly he had been retracted apparently as a child repeatedly and had some scarring at the end (think ridged band) and when the foreskin started to be retracted during intercourse there was pain for him. They too did the same condom thing that the other person described until they figured it out.

But, I did talk to the woman a couple of times after that and she GLOWINGLY thanked me for mentioning it. This all came up during a circ debate.


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