# My kid saw his Christmas presents.



## Lisa Lubner (Feb 27, 2004)

My seven year old went into the car and saw the garbage bag in the trunk and decided to have a look... he was outside playing and knows he is supposed to stay out of the car. He ran in all excited until he realized that those were his Christmas presents and the surprise is ruined.









He is sworn to secrecy about what was in there for the girls, but I don't know what to do. I don't exactly have money to buy all new presents, or more presents. This was supposed to be our first Christmas since the divorce/move/whatever. I picked out stuff he really really wanted, and now he knows about it all.

I am so bummed out, I don't know what to do. I just keep thinking of the Christmas when I was a kid when I did the same thing... just how much less fun Christmas day was that year.


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## jeca (Sep 21, 2002)

Don't worry about it, it's still a ways away and he may forgot. I convinced my DS once that he had dreamt it lol.


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## Mama2Bug (Feb 18, 2005)

I know it's a huge bummer for you to not be able to surprise him on Christmas morning.









I don't think it will exactly do him any harm though. He is still getting things that he wanted and will really enjoy, even if they aren't unexpected anymore. He will still be anticipating them- opening the packages, playing with them for the first time etc.

He has also learned a pretty good lesson via natural consequences about snooping in places you aren't supposed to. I bet he won't ever do it again.

I'm sorry your Christmas surprise is ruined though.


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## WuWei (Oct 16, 2005)

I'd let him have them. But we only have one child. So, it sounds like the 'sworn to secrecy' has a chance. But, I wouldn't count on that either. I hunted for gifts as a child and would gladly "share" the discovery with my sister.









I'm fine with sharing gifts as soon as we purchase them, rather than creating a delayed gratification. The joy is different for different folks. Dh likes to 'keep this for Christmas'. But, I'm delighted to have/share the joy in the moment, whenever that is.

Pat


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## bri276 (Mar 24, 2005)

maybe exchange a few things?


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mama2Bug* 
He has also learned a pretty good lesson via natural consequences about snooping in places you aren't supposed to. I bet he won't ever do it again.









: I'd wrap them up and put them under the tree or whatever you do. He'll still be happy to get them, I'm sure, but the surprise will be lessened a bit. I bet he won't snoop anymore.


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## Lisa Lubner (Feb 27, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bri276* 
maybe exchange a few things?

I didn't buy them. My family owns a retail store in NJ that sells toys. I picked out a few things, and I wont be back there until after Christmas.


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## mumm (May 23, 2004)

I found my christmas present as a child too. I knew it was my gift and I knew I didn't want it. (It was a used bike that was much too small for me.) At the time it was terrible. Every day I told my parents I didn't want it. Of course I did get it on Christmas and I was disapointed. Imagine how my parents must have felt.









At least your son is excited and wants them. I would go about the normal routine and then praise the heck out of him for keeping the santa magic alive for his sisters. (yes, I do praise my children!







: )


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## jjawm (Jun 17, 2007)

Just tell him that since he snooped, you're going to give them to other kids who listen to their mommies.

JUST KIDDING!!!

Either he'll be sad on Christmas morning because he's not surprised, or he'll be like I was as a kid and get sneakier and learn to unwrap and then rewrap the gifts under the tree and not tell you until he's 20.


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## Daisie125 (Oct 26, 2005)

Hm... I think he'll be alright. I snooped one year... it ruined the surprise, but also gave me the ability to sleep the night before Christmas which I have NEVER been able to do


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## GuildJenn (Jan 10, 2007)

I would treat it as matter of factly as possible. There will be other occasions for surprises in his life, honest. I wouldn't point out the consequences again or anything - he's got them right in front of himself. Now he gets to anticipate playing with the things he's going to get.

I think it's wonderful to involve him in the secret with his siblings (even if he does spill the beans) - what a great prelude to the years when he will be making his own surprises for others.


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## MommytoTwo (Jun 20, 2004)

I wouldnt do anything. I think every kid either accidentally finds or looks for their gifts at some point. It stinks but what can you do.


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## ja mama (Sep 6, 2003)

And keep in mind he will be surprized by all the gifts from anyone else, like family or friends.


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## prairiemommy (Sep 25, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mama2Bug* 
I know it's a huge bummer for you to not be able to surprise him on Christmas morning.









I don't think it will exactly do him any harm though. He is still getting things that he wanted and will really enjoy, even if they aren't unexpected anymore. He will still be anticipating them- opening the packages, playing with them for the first time etc.

He has also learned a pretty good lesson via natural consequences about snooping in places you aren't supposed to. I bet he won't ever do it again.

I'm sorry your Christmas surprise is ruined though.

I'm exhausted but she took the words right out of my mouth. This happened to me when I was 7 or so although my newly single mom didn't know I knew and pretending to be surprised was so hard and I felt so guilty.







I never snooped again.


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## MandyB (Oct 9, 2006)

I think if it was me, I would tell him that I had to return the presents and buy different ones. Then, I would put them all in wierd shaped boxes that will throw him into believing you REALLY DID buy different gifts, before I wrapped them and put them under the tree. This way at least, he'll spend the last two weeks wondering if you really did exchange them, but he'll be happy and surprised to see you didn't on Christmas morning! So, what's he getting anyway? Just curious and looking for shopping ideas myself!


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

Ya know it sucks, but this has been a good lesson for him. It doesn't sound like he was snooping nessecerily, but sometimes anticipation makes the celebration sweeter. hard lesson to learn but a good chance to learn it.









and remember there will be other gifts.


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## mcng (Oct 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MandyB* 
I think if it was me, I would tell him that I had to return the presents and buy different ones. Then, I would put them all in wierd shaped boxes that will throw him into believing you REALLY DID buy different gifts, before I wrapped them and put them under the tree. This way at least, he'll spend the last two weeks wondering if you really did exchange them, but he'll be happy and surprised to see you didn't on Christmas morning! So, what's he getting anyway? Just curious and looking for shopping ideas myself!

Oh I wouldnt do this then hell be dissapointed thinking hes not getting the things he wanted, just tell him the truth.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lisa Lubner* 
I am so bummed out, I don't know what to do. I just keep thinking of the Christmas when I was a kid when I did the same thing... just how much less fun Christmas day was that year.

Try not to let it get you down too much. You've got things he really wanted and is glad that he's getting. He can still be "in" on what his sisters are getting, and that's a lot of fun for some kids.

Just remember - your ds isn't you. It may have stolen a lot from Christmas for you, but it won't necessarily have that effect on him. My dh told me yesterday that he always looked for, and found, his gifts as a kid. He liked it that way - he says that he enjoyed the anticipation of actually _getting_ them more than he would have liked the surprise.

Things will be okay, and you'll still have a good Christmas as a family.

Do you do stockings?


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## marybethorama (Jun 9, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
Just remember - your ds isn't you. It may have stolen a lot from Christmas for you, but it won't necessarily have that effect on him. My dh told me yesterday that he always looked for, and found, his gifts as a kid. He liked it that way - he says that he enjoyed the anticipation of actually _getting_ them more than he would have liked the surprise.

I think my oldest ds is like that too. He found a present two years ago (not the one from Santa) and I just put it away. He didn't mind knowing it was in the house. I think he was just happy knowing that it would come.

In my family of origin, people have been known to TELL other people what they are getting them for Christmas







Needless to say we don't do many surprise parties


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## Lisa Lubner (Feb 27, 2004)

Quote:

Just remember - your ds isn't you. It may have stolen a lot from Christmas for you, but it won't necessarily have that effect on him.
No... he was visibly upset when he realized that he knows what all his presents are now.

We do stockings, but the stocking stuffers were in there too. This is a big garbage bag full of stuff for 3 kids.


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## Viewfinder (Sep 2, 2005)

Like, make it a HUNT for his presents. Then at least he'll have the thrill of looking and looking, and finding them. Make it a hunt for all the presents for the kids. Tell him now he better start thinking of some good places to look for his hidden presents, because you're going to REALLY hide them good.

My dd knows a few of her gifts already... I let her go shopping with me so I can see what she REALLY wants... then I buy one or two of them right then and tell her she won't get them til Christmas, so she really relaxes about what is she going to get, or not get. Then I might go back and buy a couple of other things she eyeballed if I can afford it.

She realizes now that I am Santa, and she's adjusted pretty nicely.

I don't have any suggestions about how to help him keep the secret with you. Well, I DID tell my dd that now that she "knows," she has become kind of a grown-up with the big grownup responsibility to keep the wonderful Santa secret from the little kids that SHE herself was just last year. And I asked her to recall her own feelings of wonder and magic about Santa when she was little, and how important it was to her, and how fun and joyous that made Christmas.

Now she gets to be part of the sacred oath to keep the Santa story real for little children. She CANNOT keep secret the presents that she makes or buys for me at school shopping days, but, I'm really sure she keeps the Santa secret. I hope.

VF


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## Kirsten (Mar 19, 2002)

How did he get into the trunk?


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## tsume (Jun 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kirsten* 
How did he get into the trunk?

You can get into the trunk from the inside of the car in my mil's car. The middle back seat folds down.

Sorry that he ruined his suprise.


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## Heavenly (Nov 21, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bri276* 
maybe exchange a few things?

I don't understand this thought process at all. He snooped where he wasn't supposed to. Why should the mom go get him new stuff? Isn't there even allowed to be natural consequences anymore???


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## Lisa Lubner (Feb 27, 2004)

My car was unlocked. It's a subaru wagon... he's very very tall for his age. He saw the bag through the window and got curious. He feels really really bad about it. Poor guy.









I would exchange a few thing to keep the surprise in Christmas if I could.


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## sunnmama (Jul 3, 2003)

Aw, that is rough. I would be really sad, too









I guess the only thing to do is keep it in perspective, for both you and him. It is a disappointment, but one of the smaller ones in life (not meaning to minimize--I would be quite disappointed!). It is a chance to model making the best of things.....overcoming the disappointment and having a wonderful Christmas even without the surprise


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## becoming (Apr 11, 2003)

Aw, I'm sorry that happened. I don't really have a suggestion. It will definitely be a lesson learned for him, but I wouldn't want my child to learn this kind of lesson at Christmastime.







Could you maybe buy him one more small thing that could be a surprise?

Oh, and I wouldn't think there was anything wrong with exchanging all the gifts if (a) you were able to, and (b) that is what your DS wanted you to do. I don't think Christmas is the time for "natural consequences" that make the day sad for the child.


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## meowmix (Jul 14, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bri276* 
maybe exchange a few things?









:
My son found his bday present early. He was also all thrilled until he realized he had spoiled his birthday surprise. He cried about it and was really upset. We ended up giving him his bday present right then and then getting him something unexpected and small for his actual birthday party (he had a joint family party with his sister). I realize xmas is different so maybe you could exchange a few things or, if you're able, just add a couple small, unexpected things to the mix so there is still an element of surprise?
It's such a tough natural consequence, I felt so bummed along with my son!


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## MissSJ (Oct 23, 2005)

I'm sorry this happened. I remember the one time my brother and I found our gifts. My mom was so mad and upset, I just remember her crying and crying (I'm sure she was as stressed as could be and that contributed to her being so upset). She told us and did exchange some of the gifts and for us that was a big consequence. There were some pretty neat gifts that we were excited about getting but didn't get that year for Christmas.









What was your reaction when you saw your son looking at the gifts? Did you get really upset or disappointed? Maybe part of your son feeling bad is more about feeling bad about you than the Christmas surprise part. I'm sure if they are gifts he has been wanting he will still be really excited to receive and play with them on Christmas.

Or if it is possible, maybe ask him if he wants you to exchange some of the gifts so he can have a surprise.


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## earthmama369 (Jul 29, 2005)

I did that once when I was 7, too. I was pretty disappointed on Christmas morning when I knew everything I was getting, and I'm sure my parents knew what I had done and felt bad, too. But they went ahead and put everything under the tree, as planned, and never made a big deal out of it. And I learned, and I never peeked again. (And I wasn't scarred for life.)

It's so hard to see your child disappointed, but personally, I wouldn't lessen the experience for him by replacing all his gifts. I would just go ahead and wrap them and put them under the tree. The gifts he receives from other people will still be a surprise, and by letting natural consequences take their course, he won't be inclined to repeat this mistake. That seems better to me than to cushion the (in the grand scheme of things) minor fall and have him possibly have to relearn this one, maybe on a bigger scale next time around.


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## beanma (Jan 6, 2002)

I think I would wrap them in other boxes if they were gifts to be wrapped. It's always fun to open a box that says "toaster" on it and then find something else inside. We often used to do things like include a brick in the box to make it really heavy or put some marbles in there to make it sound funny. If they're gifts he wants then he'll still want them. I'd also try to find enough $$ to buy a few other little things (a tube of dinosaurs, or some matchbox cars, etc.)

hth


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## MAMom (Mar 24, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jjawm* 
Either he'll be sad on Christmas morning because he's not surprised, or he'll be like I was as a kid and get sneakier and learn to unwrap and then rewrap the gifts under the tree and not tell you until he's 20.

























I did that too!!! I don't know how my mom never noticed, but she didn't.

FWIW, the presents still were a surprise...just not on Christmas. Still disappointing perhaps, but he'll probably be just as excited about getting those things since it sounds like it was stuff he really wanted.


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