# Is this suspicious to you - fertility/child spacing genetic?



## Vortexing (May 11, 2006)

First of all, let me preface this by saying that I don't come to the fertility forum often, so if this has been discussed before and it didn't come up in my searches, I'm sorry!

So my grandmother had her first baby in her late 20s, followed by another 6 years later. They obviously didn't have access to hormonal BC, and I'm sure never did much on the TTA front (it was a long time ago, she's 95 now, and they're Catholic, etc).

My mom had her first at 28, and had me 7 years later. They never really TTA either, and had given up after 3 years of trying for me, and then suddenly got preggo a year or so after that.

I on the other hand, had my first at 24, got pregnant the very first month of BC (w/o really "trying" per se).

Now what I'm fearing is that I won't be able to get pregnant again for another 6-7 years like my mom and gram. We'd really like to have one more 3 years apart from this one, but I have this feeling in the back of my mind that I'd be so disappointed if it didn't happen, and I'd have to wait that long, or maybe even longer to have a second.









Any thoughts??

(oh, and you're supposed to answer that b/c my gram and mom started much later, they were TTC'ing in their early 30s, which is MUCH differen than late 20s.







)


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## bobandjess99 (Aug 1, 2005)

When dod you gram and mother get married?
Why I'm asking is....did they get preggo with #1 right away, and then it took 7 years for a second?
Or did it take them a while to even get a first and then another 7 years to get a second????

If they got preggo right away, and then it took 7 years to get another....I would say that they were TTA or else you have serious fertility problems that run in your family. No woman who has regular sex without birth control (including NFP) is going to just not get preggo for 7 years.,..you know?

Also..i know this is not talked about in many families...especially older generations..but, were there miscarriages in there? I'd suspect there were.....OR, perhaps gramma and grampa didn't sleep together very often? Obviously i dont know them, but I know in my family, there were only a couple kids in the older generations, because there was secret abuse/domestic violence, and they simply weren't "together" very much....

anyway..you mention your mom tried for 3 years and then gave up and it was a year later she had you....
I am thinking that they absolutely had fertility probelms...possibly PCOS?? Endo? cysts? ANYONE who "tries" for 3 entire years like your mom did has issues....(or possibly, the issues were with the males, etc...)

If you got preggo right away, I would say you are off to a good start. How good is your overall health and fertility? Regualr, ovulatory cycles? a healthy weight? healthy eating habits? regular exercise? good blodd sugar, blood pressure, etc? History of any menstrual problems?

Generally, a woman in her late 20's who is in good health has little to worry about...but if you try for a while and don't succeed, I would seek help. Most fertility specialists rewuire a year of trying before they will help a woman under 35, but considering your family history, and if you chart and show ovulation but no conception, many will see you after only 6 months.

Best wishes!


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## Vortexing (May 11, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bobandjess99* 
When dod you gram and mother get married?
Why I'm asking is....did they get preggo with #1 right away, and then it took 7 years for a second?
Or did it take them a while to even get a first and then another 7 years to get a second????

yep, my mom was married in Feb, preggo by Nov. at 28 yrs old. Then a break, then 3 yrs of "trying" although I'm not sure how "hard" they tried. My Gram did get married at 18, no babies until late 20s... BUT...

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bobandjess99* 
If they got preggo right away, and then it took 7 years to get another....I would say that they were TTA or else you have serious fertility problems that run in your family. No woman who has regular sex without birth control (including NFP) is going to just not get preggo for 7 years.,..you know?

Well this is what I'm afraid of, some actual fertility issues.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bobandjess99* 
I know this is not talked about in many families...especially older generations..but, were there miscarriages in there? I'd suspect there were.....OR, perhaps gramma and grampa didn't sleep together very often? Obviously i dont know them, but I know in my family, there were only a couple kids in the older generations, because there was secret abuse/domestic violence, and they simply weren't "together" very much....

yeah, my mom never had a miscarriage I know, and you could set a clock by her cycles (and mine as well). My Gram doesn't talk about such things, so I have no clue about what may have happened with her. Hell, knowing her, she could have spawned some other arm of the family during the time from when she got married to when she had what we think was her first kid.







I know both sets of couples slept in the same bed at least, and the only potential domestic abuse would have been inflicted by my Gram. She was/is... let's say... high maintenence.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bobandjess99* 
anyway..you mention your mom tried for 3 years and then gave up and it was a year later she had you....
I am thinking that they absolutely had fertility probelms...possibly PCOS?? Endo? cysts? ANYONE who "tries" for 3 entire years like your mom did has issues....(or possibly, the issues were with the males, etc...)

Well my Mom never had a cyst that she knew of, but I think I'm going to ask again. No endometriosis. Do you have to have cysts to have PCOS? I'm not up on my info on fertility at.all. I'll go google it later.







My dad was not exactly good to his body (and ended up with type II diabetes diagnosed when I was about 10 yrs old), so that potentially was an issue. My mom has always been in shape, not overweight at.all, nor was my gram. I *personally* thought trying for 3 years seemed like a lot, but I have no other fertility info to base my opinion on, so I'm glad you thought it was a little odd too.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bobandjess99* 
If you got preggo right away, I would say you are off to a good start. How good is your overall health and fertility? Regualr, ovulatory cycles? a healthy weight? healthy eating habits? regular exercise? good blodd sugar, blood pressure, etc? History of any menstrual problems?

Generally, a woman in her late 20's who is in good health has little to worry about...but if you try for a while and don't succeed, I would seek help. Most fertility specialists rewuire a year of trying before they will help a woman under 35, but considering your family history, and if you chart and show ovulation but no conception, many will see you after only 6 months.

I had NEVER missed a cycle since I was 13 before I got preggo. They were as regular as you could ever imagine, 28 days between, 6 days of period. I've never had anything wrong with me, I eat well (like I mentioned my dad has diabetes, so I grew up and still eat like a diabetic, since he initially was the type where if the sugar is anywhere in the house, he'd find it, although he's MUCH better now, it just took some getting used to).

I vowed that before we can TTC again, I have to be working out regularly again (it's hit or miss with a 6 mth old), so hopefully that will be in my favor. I'll have to figure out the charting stuff in the next few years if AF ever comes back. I've never done that before b/c I NEVER wanted kids (yeah, and now I'm planning #2 about 18 mths before we'd even TTC







), so I for some reason felt safer on hormonal BC







: (why, I don't know).

I wouldn't have ever thought that I had enough "family history" to warrant seeing a fertility spec if we had TTC'd for a year. I'm so clueless. I guess I have a while before this might become an issue, but I'd feel better if I knew a little more about what I might expect and how to deal with it.


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## Vortexing (May 11, 2006)

hmmm... there are some PCOS symptoms in my family, although my mom and I both have/had completely average consistent cycles. I wonder if you can have PCOS and have what seems to be a normal cycle? But when you get a Pap smear and subsequent pelvic exam, wouldn't enlarged ovaries be pretty obvious?


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## bobandjess99 (Aug 1, 2005)

Your ovaries aren't necesarily enlarged/filled with cysts.

There are several types...I have pasted them her...as you can see, 2 of the types are "ovulatory" and therefore the women generally have regular cycles.

While i had the traditional anovulatory, long/infrequent cycles, my sister, who i am totally sure has PCOS as well, despite her idiot doctor saying she doesn't, has always been quite regular.....

traditional PCOS -- anovulatory, increased androgens, no insulin resistance
endocrine syndrome X -- anovulatory, increased androgens, insulin resistance or type 2 diabetes
non-traditional PCOS --anovulatory, normal androgens, obese, insulin resistant or type 2 diabetes
non-traditional PCOS -- ovulatory, increased androgens, mild insulin resistance
idiopathic hirsutism -- ovulatory, increased androgens, no insulin resistance


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## bobandjess99 (Aug 1, 2005)

As i assume you are BFing now, it is probably not usefult to check your hormones levels, but when you get down to TTC, you could actually do what you are "supposed" top do and actually have a "preconceotion" checkup. Get hormone levels tested, and pre-pregnancy Pap sop you don't need one while pregnant, get all your tests/blood work done.....etc.
If anything POPS during that testing, you will know you *might* have a fertiltiy problems..if it all comes back fine, you can TTC with the weight off your shoulders!


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## Vortexing (May 11, 2006)

oh ok, thanks mamas. That might be really good to do before TTCing so that I'm more mentally prepared in case I do have some issues. I can be fairly impatient when it comes to somethings, and I think waiting for 3 years might be very damaging to me. Thanks for posting the different types of PCOS tooo!


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## Nature (Mar 12, 2005)

Hmm... I don't have any family background to work with, but personally.. I went off bc and got pregnant the next cycle. Had dd1, got pg again right away but m/c. Then I didn't get pregnant again for 5 years. We were activly trying, no known problems. I finally got pg again. Had dd2, got pregnant shortly afterwards... m/c again. 2 years later got pg again, had dd3.

So for me, its been entirely possible to be trying and just not getting pg for years. Even though I've been told theres nothing wrong.


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## Valian (Oct 16, 2005)

How about the men's fertility?

I realize you think you're tracing this through your Mom's line, but its entirely possible that Mom and Grandma both just married men with low sperm counts, etc., etc.

As women we tend to think more about fertility and naturally think of ourselves first. But, I also think that's probably a mistake.

OTOH, if it is the women, regular cyces could still be anovulatory. Are you certain that you ovulate with each cycle? That would be one place to start with yourself. Were there periods of poor nutrition (war time) or other physical stressors on your Mom or grandma? Were they on medication that was previously considered safe but now isn't? I'm wondering if these could have contributed to early (undetected m/c or lack of implantation).

Just a few thoughts.


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## Vortexing (May 11, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Valian* 
How about the men's fertility?

OTOH, if it is the women, regular cyces could still be anovulatory. Are you certain that you ovulate with each cycle? That would be one place to start with yourself. Were there periods of poor nutrition (war time) or other physical stressors on your Mom or grandma? Were they on medication that was previously considered safe but now isn't? I'm wondering if these could have contributed to early (undetected m/c or lack of implantation).

Just a few thoughts.

You're right, I haven't thought much about the men's lines, and I do know that my dad and his dad are both only children, so that could be suspicious, but my grandfather was one of like 10 (all born in the middle of no where Italy, very poor, and the line before him was all very poor as well, but equally as numerous). Also, my mom was born in '46, so they would have been TTCing in the middle of WW2.

You're right again too that I don't know that I ovulate.







That will definitely be something to check into. When AF comes back I'll definitely be doing some research and start charting so I have a better idea of what's going on.


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## Shelsi (Apr 4, 2005)

Are you sure they weren't using the pull out method? It can actually be pretty effective.

Also I suggest you get the book, Taking Charge of Your Fertility, and start charting your cycles. That's a really good way to really start to understand your fertility and a lot of fertility issues that can be easily solved can be seen with charting. A common one is a luteal phase defect which basically means the time between ovulation and AF is too short to allow an embryo to implant in your uterus. This can be solved with some progesterone pills or cream or some herbal supplements. Something like that could easily keep someone from getting pregnant until they suddenly get lucky and have the embryo implant much earlier than average.

Also for what it's worth I was kind of worried about the same thing because it took my mom 5 years of actively TTC to conceive me after my brother. You know what though, I conceived my ds in 9 months of TTC (I have long cycles and was barely ovulating at that time so that was pretty fast). Then 2.5 yrs after he was born we decided to TTC again and it only took me 2 cycles of trying. So just because my mom and I were similar and are similar in our cycles didn't mean anything. Most likely because I had the tools to help me figure out when I was ovulating whereas that knowledge was harder to find in the 70's.


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