# Almost 2 year old fighting naps



## _betsy_ (Jun 29, 2004)

When was your toddler ready to give up naps? How did you know it was time?

DD is a spirited, intense, draining, high needs kind of kid, has been since Day 1. She's 22 months old now, and practically every day of her life she's fought sleep. It's been especially bad the past week, and I can't tell if it's because Papa was out of town over the weekend and Grandma stayed with us and watched DD while I worked, or if she's just done with naps altogether. She seemed just fine with DH being gone, though, and totally loved Grandma's attention. Even on our best of days together, though, DD and I butt heads.

I can't deal with her being done with naps. I'm 16 weeks PG, work nights full time and just need a break from her everyday. I know I have to parent the kid I have, and not the one I want - I get that *my* need for her to nap isn't the same as her needing a nap. But she still really seems to need the naps too - when she gets a short nap or no nap (very, very rarely), her night sleep is awful. Harder to get down at night and wakes several times. She weaned about 2 months ago due to the PG, and she's a crib sleeper since no one gets any sleep when she's in bed with us.

She's been napping 2-2.5 hours a day, but she's been pushing it later and later in the day. If she were only napping a half hour or something, I'd drop it, but sleeping 2 or more hours seems to indicate she still needs it. But if I try getting her down earlier, it just takes even.longer. The routine is lunch, books, then milk on the couch. When she's done, we go to her room and I do whatever it takes to get her to sleep. She's taken to hitting me if she's not quite ready to sleep when I try to rock her and sing lullabies (which works well when she's given up the fight and is ready to sleep).

Today, nothing worked, DH was home and couldn't be bothered to help, then essentially told me I was an awful mother because she was just feeding off my frustration. I was very calm with her, though. Then he told me how to feel and I just lost it. Hard day.

Ugh, this got really long and tangential. If you're still with me, thanks.

Tips on getting a toddler to nap? When was your toddler done napping, and how did you know it was time to drop it?


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## milehighmonkeys (Apr 13, 2006)

DD doesn't nap anymore, but she still needs a break, and so do I. We have quiet time every afternoon. DD still has the opportunity to sleep if she needs to. Mostly she doesn't, but every once in a while she does.


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## _betsy_ (Jun 29, 2004)

How old is she?

I've tried "quiet time" with DD, in an attempt to bore her into sleeping, and she just doesn't get it.


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## ilovebabies (Jun 7, 2008)

They go through stages where they "test" nap time. It will happen again when she's about 2.5. An almost 2 year old still needs a nap. There are exceptions, as with anything because all children are different, but chances are, she's just testing it. Both of my daughters are like yours, spirited and strong willed, so I know what you're going through.

Be aware of her sleep patterns so that you know if she's slept in that day and gotten extra sleep, she may not be tired enough at her usual nap time and you may need to wait an hour. I do that with my dd who is 2.5. I can usually gauge when she's ready for nap time and it's anywhere between 1-3 (usually 1:00 though). But when it's time, you'll need to be firm in telling her that it is nap time, no exceptions. She may fight you every time, but that's just her personality.

Sometimes, if it's needed, I'll tell my daughter something special we're going to do or that we'll have when she wakes up from her nap. This helps her be more motivated to get to sleep. Of course I lay with her for a few minutes, or rock her and sing to her if needed. Whatever it takes some days!

Good luck!


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## milehighmonkeys (Apr 13, 2006)

I guess I should clarify that quiet time does not mean lie in bed and do nothing. Around here, it usually means read books in bed until quiet time is over. I wouldn't expect her to lie in her bed awake for an hour doing nothing. It's just an opportunity to have time to herself doing something less active. She could even play with stuffed animals in her room as long as she's not jumping around all over the place. The point is just to have some lower level activity that is not as stimulating and is quiet. She can even listen quietly to music in her room if she wants. Low key and reasonably quiet.

ETA: She'll turn 4 in a couple of weeks and we've been doing this since she was between 2 and 2.5.


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## _betsy_ (Jun 29, 2004)

Yeah, I get that quiet time doesn't = nothing. I encouraged her to play with a doll and a diaper, which she usually does when she's getting sleepy, it's her quiet/wind down play. Didn't work. Full blown fit within minutes.

I do try to take into account when she might be sleepy (we have no set naptime, and I think that may be the real problem here) based on when she woke up/how much activity she's had that morning. If I told her we'd do something fun when she woke up from her nap, she'd say "Nap? No nap! (Insert whatever fun thing) NOW!" and fight sleep even more.

I'm also wondering if we're missing her early sleep window - most days I can get her down around 3, but then she doesn't want to go to bed at bedtime and is up until 11 p.m.


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## epicmuse (Jul 5, 2008)

Ds did that at about the same age and I just had to ride it out. I was sure he was giving up naps but after 10 days he went back to napping. I just had to make sure I wore him out before nap time and gave him a longer downtime before putting him down to sleep. After a month his schedule was back to normal. I was pregnant too and was just coming off of some wicked morning sickness so I desperately needed him to nap so I could! I feel for you but I think this is just a stage. What about some outdoor playtime in the mornings? Could that help wear her out?


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## mija y mijo (Dec 6, 2006)

DS has been doing this for the past week. I think it's because we just got home from a two week vacation and he's trying to get back into his routine. I've just been sitting next to his crib once I lay him down. I'll rub his back, hold his hand, sing songs with him. Once he calms down I quiety sit there and read a book or get on the computer until he falls asleep. We've been doing this at bedtime too.

Some days it takes awhile until he falls asleep, but I know he still needs his nap. If he doesn't get it he's miserable by dinner.


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## mrs_mandolini (Feb 23, 2007)

I agree with the outdoor playing in the morning! It helps us a lot.

Also, if you can wear the child (I know at this point that might not be possible) this saves my sanity OFTEN on fighting-the-nap days.


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## XanaduMama (May 19, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ilovebabies* 
They go through stages where they "test" nap time. It will happen again when she's about 2.5. An almost 2 year old still needs a nap.

This is really interesting, bc this is exactly what's happened with ds. I thought he was going to drop his nap at 2yo, and was going to let him, and then he suddenly started again. Now at 2.5 it looks like it's gone for good. I just realized that the daily fight about naptime was more stressful to me than his not napping, as much as I understand your need for some "out" time during the day.


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## nighten (Oct 18, 2005)

My toddler gave up naps at 22 months. I knew it was time when it got to be that struggling over getting her to nap was worse than the effects of not napping.

We gradually moved her bedtime earlier and she slept longer at night.

Even now at 27 months I keep hoping she'll start napping again, but it just hasn't happened. She'll fall asleep around 4pm for a nap but then is up way past midnight. So her bedtime is typically 7pm and she usually sleeps until 9am.

As for them still needing a nap, some do, some do not. But they all do need well over 12 hours sleep in a 24 hour period, for sure, I believe. But how it's broken up is irrelevant for some toddlers before age two. I had some very long talks with our wonderful pediatrician about this very subject, when I was wrestling with her giving up naps. He reassured me that as long as she was getting a good night's rest, it was fine and to let her lead the way.

So we did.

But it did take a couple weeks of adjustment to get the bedtime earlier and during that time there were a handful of times where she'd fall asleep briefly.

Catnaps don't seem to affect nighttime sleep for her, but anything over 30 minutes does, and she needs a good 8 hours from naptime to bedtime now. So it's just not doable for us and we're okay with her getting all her sleep at night.

Listen to your little one. It might be a phase and tied into the 2 year molars. It might be her sleep needs have changed and the room needs to be darker/lighter/cooler, etc. Or it might be her little body is ready to give up naps altogether. Please don't let anyone make you feel like it's an automatically unhealthy thing for your 22 month old to already be giving up naps, because the key here is total hours of sleep overall, not when it happens. And some babes just do this sooner than others. That's just how it is for them.

ETA: But I agree that having more of a set routine can definitely help. Keep trying as long as you're able, but for us, we stopped trying when it became nothing more than a very distressing source of angst for us all. Giving up naps was a sad time but a relief as well. It's up to you and your LO and what's best for you both, but it sounds like she might do better to know what to expect and having a set routine (even if there's not a set time, though by this age that too can help), is certainly worth a shot.

*hugs to you mama* I know this isn't easy. I hope for your sake your little one is just going through a phase. I sorely miss naptime.


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