# Options for expanding the family bed



## dharmama (Dec 29, 2002)

DD is 6 mos old and for the most part we are really loving co-sleeping. The main struggle we are having however is physical comfort. We have a queen size bed. DH is 6'3" and I'm 5'8" and pre-baby I REALLY liked to sleep stretched out.

Our DD is sleeping great and we love the closeness of co-sleeping but DH and I are both waking up in the morning, hobbling around with neck pains and back pains from contorting ourselves around her.

SO....We've started talking about ways to expand the bed. One option is to buy a twin mattress and to put it next to the bed. The other is to buy a used crib from a friend who no longer needs it (she offered to give it to me but I would want to pay her a little...they have given us WAAAAY too much!) and attaching it as a side-car.

Just wondering what other people's experiences have been with either or both of these arrangements.

I have to admit that part of me wants to buy the bed and skip the crib all together just because babies are "supposed to" sleep in cribs and I don't like doing what I'm "supposed to" do







but the environmentalist in me says it's better to get the used crib/mattress rather than buying new. Decisions. Decisions.

What would you do?

Thanks!

~Erin


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

No real suggestions...but I wanted to let you know I feel your pain!


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## fiikske (Jun 29, 2004)

Hi,

I don't have real suggestions as we are having this kind of problem too. Here in China we have a huge bed, while in Belgium, our bed is just only 1m45 wide. We're expecting a second baby, and then definitely, that bed has to go. It was funny that the day that I told my husband we were pregnant again, he spontanuously answered: we'll have to get a new bed ;-)

So our only option is: buy a new bed, a HUGE bed ;-) The only constraints that I want is that there should be a headpart, and a footpart, kwim? The bed will be placed against a wall, and so that way, three sides will be "safe". I know we could simply but the mattress on the floor, but my back is not good enough to have to get up and lay down on such a low height. Anybody any good ideas?

I hope you'll find a solution to your problem,
Greetz,
Fiikske


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## jessikate (Jul 19, 2002)

We slept on our queen mattress for most of DD's life. At some point, we moved the mattress and box spring to the floor and stored the frame, as I was concerned about her falling out of bed. When I found myself pregnant with our second child, we started to consider our options for expanding the bed. What we ended up doing was taking the full-size mattress and box spring from our spare bedroom and butting it up against the queen bed. DH sleeps on that and DD and I sleep on the queen bed. Not as much snuggling as DH and I were used to, but we all sleep better with this arrangement.


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## Lucysmama (Apr 29, 2003)

nak...

We have 4 in our bed...

We have a twin and a queen pushed together. Ds and I sleep on the twin and dd and dh on the queen. I like it just fine. I do wish we had a King instead, but this works.


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## thetallestmaxham (Sep 9, 2004)

hell, we have a cal king and an 8 mo, and i *still* think we need more room. dd is like a heat seeking missle and follows me wherever i go. inevitably i end up perched on the edge of the mattress when i wake up. i get the sore neck/back thing too. honestly i'm considering taking friends up on an offer for a free full sized mattress and butting it up to one side. i *love* to sprawl out in bed too, and frankly i've not been able to since dd was born. dh can sleep through anything and not be affected (grumble.)

dd has never slept through the night, and i don't wonder sometimes if it's because she's so close to mom and dad tossing and turning all night too. mebbe if we had more room she'd sleep better...


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## mother culture (Oct 19, 2004)

Our family bed is ever changing. I have a 4 year old on a twin matress in our room and a 2 year old in our bed with a 6 month old in a co-sleeper next to the bed. My husband and I start out in our other bed in the next room after the children have gone to sleep and" have our time" then when the baby wakes up I stay in bed next to him and the 2 year old ( who still wakes up to pee or hold mommys hand)for the night.
This works well! We only have 2 rooms and 1 is for sleeping and the other is for the office and extra bed. Kids do not need a room of their own and have never asked for one. We have very few toys so no need for a room to store them in.


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## beanma (Jan 6, 2002)

go for the twin. one day dd can put it in her room. more useful long term than the crib and more versatile, too. we're a queen and twin on the floor family here.

hth


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## Alison (Feb 11, 2004)

We used a crib as a sidecar for a while. To be honest, DS didn't stay in it for long. Oh, he'd start out there every night, but by morning, he would be right in with us again, and we'd have contorted legs and arms and backs and necks. Doesn't help you much I know, just wanted to share our experience! He's now in a toddler bed right next to our bed, so starts out there and manages to stay there longer before he climbs in with us. But, he does still end up in with us every night. They gravitate to warmth, or to your heartbeat, or something! so, whatever you do, you may find yourself just as squished as ever!

Alison


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## RoseanneinOK (Oct 15, 2004)

I am doing great with co-sleeping with my 6 mos. old son in our queen sized bed. The problem is that my husband is not in agreement with this so he sleeps in the guest room. He doesn't want to continue this. He wants back in the queen bed but w/o baby. I don't agree with CIO and I grew up co-sleeping and that's what's natural to me. Also, baby goes to sleep best for daddy. He turns off all the lights and holds baby for about 5 minutes and he falls right to sleep. Unfortunately, as of tonight, he is unwilling to continue this so I'll have to start doing this. It has just been a nice break for me to have him put him to sleep and it only takes 5 minutes or less, which I think is miraculous. Well, I just wanted to share.

Roseanne


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## Lucky (Nov 14, 2004)

Kenny Loggins has the best family bed.









He was on HGTV Extreme Homes. His house in CA is awesome. Fung Shui, artistic, green, and child-friendly all around. Well, in the master bedroom his family made a family bed. It's a king & queen tied together at the frame posts. It has a wood canopy frame with silky, sheer cloths draped across it. They had up to, if I remember right, four children in their bed some nights.

Dh & and I were so happy to see such a beautiful family bed in his home. We didn't have the room for a king & queen bed, but we did attach a full and queen together. It worked out well for us.


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## Lucysmama (Apr 29, 2003)

Roseanne-

Welcome to MDC!!!


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## stafl (Jul 1, 2002)

Our queen sized bed worked great until I was pregnant with DD2 and just couldn't stand human contact at night so I started sleeping on the sofa. Then my bad back got worse, and I couldn't sleep at all unless I had something behind my back (like the back of the sofa) and now I still can't sleep in the bed because my lower back will just kill me in the morning (I'm talking, impossible to walk because of the pelvic and hip pain when I get up, it's so bad). So baby and I sleep on the couch, and DH and DD1 sleep on the bed. Next week, we are buying a king sized mattress and box springs to go in the spare bedroom, on the floor. It's kind of a weird situation, our master bedroom isn't quite as large as the guest room, so a king would fit in there better. It's a long bedroom, must have been originally intended to be a room for two kids to share (the builder of the subdivision lived in this house, so we've got some features none of the other houses have). So, we're getting a king-sized mattress and will push it into the far corner of the room, so two walls will be on two sides of the bed. Hopefully, that will work for the whole family. I'll have the wall to lean my back up against, and we'll all be sleeping in the same bed again! The plan is to have the girls at some point in the future, share a bed, and DH and I share our own bed... I'll let you know in five years if that plan ever worked out or not


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## dharmama (Dec 29, 2002)

Roseanne ~ Hugs to you mama. That's a tough situation. My DH was not fully on board with co-sleeping but then came to love it's ease -- i.e. I roll over and pop a boobie in her mouth when she peeps so he doesn't even wake up VS putting her in the PNP on the other side of the room and he has to get up and get her (my rule







) and bring her to me for nursing then bring her back to the PNP or let her sleep with us....guess what he picked every time!









A couple of times my DH has brought up transitioning her out of our bed and I just look at him like I'm confused and I don't understand what he is saying. :LOL I definitely will not do CIO (or let my DH) so I've told him that if he really wants her out of our bed he has to understand that it will be a long and gentle process that will involve active parenting by him for MANY nights. Which reminds him why we







the family bed so much....it's really easy!

One thing that has helped us is putting her in her PNP to start the night at least one to two nights a week so we can have some alone time in our bed.

I noticed you said your DS is 6 mos old. My DD is also 6 months. We have a great thread going in Life With Babe for the "June 04 Mamas"...come join us. We have a couple of new mamas who just found us in the last week or so!


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