# Hit my 1 year old?



## Jade2561 (Jun 12, 2005)

uggg! I talked to my dad yesterday after a hard day with dd. I especially had a hard time changing her diaper (squirmy worm) and by the time I was finished we were both covered in poop







. Anyway, my dad said when she tries resist I should slap the back of her legs. I told him that will never happen and he gave me a lecture about how I don't set any boundaries with her (she's 1) and how she is going to do whatever she wants and turn into a brat. He says that sometimes kids just "need" to be spanked.

Dh and I are both anti-spanking b/c we were both hit and we agree that it is confusing and doesn't work. I am so appalled and saddened that my dad said his. Out of curiosity, does anyone know someone that spanks their one year old?


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## m0mmaw0lf (May 18, 2005)

I know someone who recently spanked his 2 1/2 yo. This is an old friend of my husband who does things very differently than DH and I. This friend told DH that his son was "acting up" so he swatted the toddler on the butt. When "friend" asked his son if he knew why DaDa did that the toddler said "no." Then the "friend" asked his son how that made him feel. When the toddler answered "scared" his dad said, "You better not make DaDa angry again."

I am relieved that I never see this person.


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## mamadodson (Apr 6, 2004)

awwww i'm sorry I so know what you mean though, my dad too is that same way infact he had the nerve to spank my child....MY CHILD I was furious and didnt speak to him for 6 months, and still dont talk to him much, I dont smack him so why would he? it is a hurtful thing to deal with, but times are diff now, I always got hit, and learned nothing but fear out of it... ((((((((hugs mama))))))))))


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## Piglet68 (Apr 5, 2002)

You can respond to your father that you DO set boundaries, you just don't enforce them by hitting.

People who spank seem to be under the impression that if you don't spank, you are not "disciplining" your child at all.


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## Snowy Owl (Nov 16, 2003)

i'm having the same problem changing my 11 month old's diapers. He's soooo squirmy and refuses to lay on his back. Distraction toys work about 10% of the time. But hey, it never occured to me that I could just start swatting his legs. That sounds very effective. I'm sure he would realize instantly that I mean business and would respect my wishes from then on.

Yeah. And if my dad suggested that to me, I would make it VERY clear that NO ONE will hit my kids.

The nerve.


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## Greensleeves (Aug 4, 2004)

This thread is making me so sad. I'm sorry there even has to be this discussion.


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## maxwill129 (May 12, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jade2561*
Out of curiosity, does anyone know someone that spanks their one year old?









Sad to say, I see moms and dads at the park, mall, etc. swat their babes (who look like they are about 1) on there butts. I have to say that I see a lot of christians doing this...because of some silly Bible verse that everyone interprets wrong AND because people like Dr. Dobson say you should start spanking your DC at 15 months.

Very sad.

Shannon


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## elmh23 (Jul 1, 2004)

My BIL and his wife spanked their one year old. He's turned into a real brat too. They spanked him like they would spank their 10 year old, hard and mean!

Needless to say, I hate visiting them.


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## CJNeeley (Jun 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jade2561*
Out of curiosity, does anyone know someone that spanks their one year old?









Unfortunately, yes. I actually saw someone spank a seven month old (umm, for not sharing her rattle with her almost 3 yo old brother) put her in a bouncy seat and walked away while the child screamed in another room alone with the door shut. I was so upset I made my husband take us home immediately before I crossed the line and told this woman how to parent her baby (in her own house no less), simply saying "We'll go so you can spend time with your daughter. She seems to need you right now." (hoping that she'd console the poor child if she wasn't 'entertaining guests' but I'm not all that convinced she did, or would) Worst part is I'm not sure how rare this woman is, I think there's more like her than I want to know about.

As for the poop problem, we went through this too with both of the boys. Having them hold something for us--like a wipe or cream or something--helped with ours "Can you hold this for mommy/daddy? I'll need it in just a minute." And then we'd use it at the end after the poop was all under control "Ok, I need it now. Thank you so much for holding it for me." [Sometimes not with ds2 as he'd sometimes use the wipe to try to help clean himself, which really amounted to lightly whipping himself in the crotch with it, but whatever kept him happy and still during a particularly bad diaper was fine with me.] The distraction was enough to keep them occupied for a few seconds. We'd still have to wrestle the diaper and pants on them but we wouldn't have to wrestle a poopie baby or do extra clean-up so I considered it a win but others might not.


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