# Cesarean Birth Support Thread April & May 2006



## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

This thread is for support only. Please do not post here to debate our decisions or our births.

Thank you!


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

I want to have roll call womyn so please come on in and give us a brief intro, your births, and where you are at now.

I am Kim, mother to four. All of my children have been born by cesarean, even the child we adopted, for medical reasons.

I have a mullerian anomaly due to DES exposure, and I found out last August that I also have a deformed cervix as well. ::chuckle:::

I have had three cesarean births. The first was an emergency after a failed ECV for breech presentation (transverse). I felt the entire thing which was not cool at all.

My second two cesareans were for my 3rd and 4th child. They were both planned and done on schedule. They were practically pain free and I have had excellent recoveries from both. I had a great doctor who did everything in her power to work with my birthplan.

Currently we are done. But I wouldn't be that surprised if another pregnancy occurred. (my husband backed out of a vasectomy that was planned for the 7th)

Kim


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## ChattyCat (Sep 7, 2004)

I'm Cat. Momma to my 2yo ds, Emerson. I'm expecting dd#1 sometime between now and May 8th. She will be born by planned csec, either when I go into labor (more likely) or on 5/8, if she hasn't shown up by then.

I had a csec with ds after pushing for 6+ hours. He wasn't malpositioned, and I had freedom of movement. He was stuck at +1. His poor little head was wedged into my pelvis, and he came out with a huge sack of fluid and swelling on his crown. His head was 14.5" at birth.

Oddly enough, I got stuck coming out a little lower down, and was pulled out with forceps. Dh got stuck about where ds did, and his mom had a csec back in the 70s, when they were much less common. I think we just grow kids with HUGE heads.









DD is actually measuring even bigger than ds, so I'm glad that we've made the decision for a repeat csec. I recovered fairly well from my csec, but I think the traumatic 46 hour active labor really took it's toll on me. I can't imagine going through that again, just to have another surgery, and having to take care of a toddler in addition to a newborn. ACK!

The doctors in the practice we're going to seem very supportive of our birthplan and helping us to make it very much a birth. I'm nervous as all get out. Between facing surgery, a hospital stay, and a new little life, who wouldn't be? But, I'm really getting excited too!


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## AnditheBee (Oct 3, 2003)

I'm Andi, mom to a 3-year-old and a newborn, both born by c-section. I pushed 8 hours with #1 and she wouldn't go past my pelvic opening--she was asynclitic, but after #2 failed to go past my bones as well and was as straight as an arrow, I realized there was more to it than simple malpresentation. After a nine-hour home labor, 3 hours of which were spent pushing in every conceivable position, my midwife said that my pelvic joints won't flex/stretch. Neither of my kids was large or had big heads (although my son's head didn't mold much, and my daughter's not at all, which probably didn't help). But it seems my pelvis just won't let babies come through, at least not in a reasonable amount of time. There is no apparent cause for this problem, so there is no way to remedy it for future births. I'm still working on coming to terms with this fact and dealing with the resultant emotional upheaval. And we're not planning to have anymore, for various reasons...not the least of which is, I don't want another surgery. (My husband's reason is that he doesn't want more chaos in his life!







)

Glad to know other moms have "survived" multiple c-secs with no vaginal births and can reach a point of equilibrium with the situation. I'm still working on that...I'll get there someday!


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## egoldber (Nov 18, 2002)

I'm Beth, and I've had 2 C-sections and planning a third in the fall.

My first DD was born by C-section after I had PROM at 37 weeks. The OB did a Pitocin induction which failed and I had a Csection at 24 hours after ROM for FTP. After the delivery, the OB commented that DD's head was cock-eyed, so I think she was asynclitic.

My next DD was a planned VBAC, turned emergency C-section. During the pushing stage of labor, her heartrate plummeted into the 60s and I was rushed to the OR. I had a uterine rupture and placental abruption. DD was born severely oxygen compromised and we took her off the ventilator and she died at 9 days old.

We are pregnant again, and due in November. This time we are planning a C-section, probably at 36 or 37 weeks. They want to do the C section well and truly before labor begins in order to minimize my risk of re-rupture.

There is a very small part of me that mourns the fact that I will never have a vaginal birth, but at this point in my journey, and I know so many people hate this phrase, for ME all that does matter is a healthy baby.


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## ChattyCat (Sep 7, 2004)

Hi to all the Cesarean Goddesses!

Kim- I want to thank you for being THE cesarean goddess here on MDC and rallying the troops so to speak. You make it so much easier to find support and info from other crunchy moms!









Andi- I was so sorry to hear about your planned HBAC turned csec. Hopefully, time will bring your heart the peace it deserves.









Beth-







My heart aches for you! I sincerely hope that this pregnancy and birth will be completely uneventful, and you get your healthy baby into your arms.









I have a question for you ladies. Ds was on the large side (8lbs, and 14.5" head at 37 weeks, when he was born). Dd was measuring a few weeks ahead at 31 weeks (I know u/s can be off by about 10% or so). She was measuring about 2 weeks ahead all over, and her head measurement was over 3 weeks ahead. At the time, my fundus was only measuring about 2 weeks ahead. Well, 3 weeks later at my 34 week checkup, my fundus was measuring 5 weeks ahead. I'm scheduled for another u/s tomorrow at my 35 week appt. Do you think my risk of rupture increases the larger she gets and the more my uterus grows? I'm concerned that since I'm measuring so far ahead (at the rate I'm growing, I expect I'll be measuring about 41 weeks tomorrow), that it's putting undue strain on things. We had planned on not doing my csec until 39 weeks, unless I go into active labor before then. But, I've been wondering, if I should get an amnio done around 36 weeks to check for lung development and have her then if she's ready. I'm not really sure why the OBs want another u/s done anyway. They say it's because they want to see how big she is, but they know I'm planning another csec. So, part of me wonders if this is what they're thinking as well. Am I going







or is this a valid concern?


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## deleria (Mar 8, 2004)

Hi everyone,

First, I want to thank Kim for starting up this thread. It really means a lot to me. I'm having a difficult time coming to terms with where my baby's impending birth is headed and I desperately want to make peace with it before October.

My name is Amanda and my wonderful hubby is Mark. I'm 29 and the mother to two amazing little miracles. I was told early on that getting pregnant would be a challenge for me, so we were thrilled to welcome our firstborn son, Aerik, 9 years ago. I was induced due to sudden onset pre-eclampsia at 39 weeks and went through 48 hours of on again/off again labour before delivering him in the OR. I pushed for over two hours with no progress and was prepped for a cesarean. He was born vaginally after his body was turned using suction. He came out weighing 10lbs 6oz and had an apgar of 6. He's absolutely perfect now (minus a genetic form of hearing loss, which both of our boys have and is corrected with hearing aids).

With our second son, Declan, we did things differently. I picked the perfect hospital (I was borderline high risk for a midwife in Quebec, so we made the best hospital choice we could), a great doctor and had a doula. I was informed and made good choices. I went into labour naturally and spent the next 27 hours trying to get beyond 5cm. It never happened, even after we tried to augment the labour with pitocin (which is NOT my friend, I've realized after using it twice). When I finally had the cesarean they found that Declan's cord was wrapped around his body, preventing him from decending further. Our little guy weighed in at 10lbs 4oz - I'm built to have big babies!

When I found out we were (unexpectedly) expecting this time around, I wanted nothing more than to VBAC. Unfortunately, I found out two weeks ago that the lump next to my incision is a hernia and that VBACing could be very damaging to me. In fact, the pregnancy will probably take its toll on the hernia as it is, which is a little scary. It seems that the only option I'm left with is a planned cesarean. In some ways I'm relieved not to be going through a probable long labour again. In other ways I'm not looking forward to another surgery. Hopefully they can also repair the hernia when they're in there, although I don't know if that's possible.

So that's my story in a nutshell. I had a big cry last night about the whole thing and I'm trying to process it all. I'm a huge fan of natural birth, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, AP... And I know that I bonded very well with both my boys regardless of their births, but it's still hard, you know? I hear all these wonderful stories of women birting in their homes and crawling into bed with their newborns for a nice rest. Instead I'll be stitched and stapled and sore. I feel like I'm missing out on something I can't control. I really need to make this more positive for both my baby and myself. It is his/her birth, after all. It's supposed to be joyous, right?


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## egoldber (Nov 18, 2002)

Cat, I wouldn't have the C section at 36 weeks. I'd wait until you are scheduled at 39 weeks. The amnio for lung maturity is not full proof, and babies born before 38 weeks are much more likely to spend time in NICU for a variety of reasons: jaundice, difficulty maintaining temperature, etc. Also, hospital peds tend to be more wary with those babes, and may take precautions that may mar your experience. And those babies are more prone to breastfeeding difficulties as well. These issues are all regardless of weight and size.

If I weren't in my particular situation, I wouldn't consider delivering that early, and I feel badly about it.







I'm preparing myself mentally for a NICU stay just in case.


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## coloradoalice (Oct 12, 2005)

Hi everyone

I'm Alice mama to Gracie and Ian, both born by cesarean section. Gracie was a planned homebirth, but my membranes ruptured, I never had any contractions, and 30 hours later my midwife said we needed to transfer. I labored on pit for a few hours, was subjected to internal fetal monitoring, and then was sectioned because Gracie started to show distress. Turns out I had undiagnosed GD, Gracie was born at 38 weeks on the nose and was 10pounds, 12 ounces. She was very ill and spent 6 days in the NICU. It took a long time for me to come to terms with her birth, my midwives failure to notice my GD, and the fact that I was a "failure" at birth. Ian's birth was a hugely healing situation for me. I had planned a VBAC, but I knew in my heart it wasn't going to happen. I don't know why, but I just knew. I went into labor 2 days after his due date, labored for 22 hours naturally, which was really what I wanted since I never had any natural labor the first go round. After being at 6 cm for 6 hours, my labor tapering off and again having my membranes ruptured for nearly 24 hours, I decided to have the repeat section. It was an awesome experience, having the same care-giver I had during my pregnancy instead of some awful on-call doctor made such a huge difference. I held him immediately, I nursed him in recovery, and he slept with me our entire hospital stay. I had GD again, but it was controlled and he was healthy!!!

I am glad to find this group. I am definiately one who has had to come around to view cesarean section as birth. I was a natural birth nazi before Gracie came. I had a horrible time getting over my "failure" and realizing that I did what had to be done and it was not the "wrong way" to have a baby. If I ever become pregnant again I will have a cesarean section by choice. I know it can be a positive experience, and I truly think for some reason it is just the way my body gives birth.

Can't wait to meet more of you!!


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## mommyjamieof2 (Feb 17, 2006)

I am due May 19th with my 2nd child a girl. She measured 2 weeks ahead and weighed aproximatly 5lbs 6oz. I had my first after cytotec, pitocin, 17 1/2 hours of labor, 2 hours of pushing, and emergancy c-section. He weighed 10lbs 19 1/2 inches. I was so terrified because I never researched anything about c-sections and did not know what would happen. I have always been so upset about the birth because I feel like I missed so much because I couldn't wake up. My greatest fears of my so fastly approaching birth is the possibility of another c-section are. Missing so much of the beginning of my baby's life, leaving my 3 year old for so long, and once I am home trying to recover from a c-sec with a 3 year old and baby. My doctor is trying to give me every chance to do a vbac but I don't think she is so confident that it will happen. I don't know if I want to try and labor and vbac or just opt for a planned c-sec. I am scared both ways I want the best for my baby and myself. I want a fast recovery. I just don't know what to do.


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## Birth Junky (Jun 14, 2004)

Hello, mamas!

My name is Bryn, first-time mama to little Ilze, born 3/9 (can't believe she is almost 4 weeks old!). I was planning a homebirth, had a fairly uneventful pregnancy (despite almost constant nausea/vomiting) until around 31 weeks, and was referred to a perinatologist because of slow growth. Turned out baby was also breech, and slightly low on fluid. DH and I did everything we could to try to get her to turn around (pelvic tilts, moxibustion, acupuncture, chiropractic adjustment, deep water submersion, headstands in the pool, music, light, etc.; you name it, we tried it), to no avail. To deal with the slow growth/low fluid, I stopped working, started drinking 1.5-2 gallons of water a day, and ate extremely high protein foods (over 120g per day). Unfortunately her fluid levels continued to drop, and at 37 weeks (with an AFI of 3) the decision was made to do a cesarean.

I have no regrets over the decision to have the surgery; I know it was what was necessary to keep her healthy and safe. As far as surgery goes, I seem to have had a wonderful one; my recovery has been amazing, she had no problems despite being 3 weeks early, and I had wonderfully supportive care at the hospital.

However . . .

I have been planning on becoming a midwife since I was 9 years old. I trained as a doula when I was 17, went to massage school SPECIFICALLY so that I could do pregnancy massage, have trained as a childbirth educator, etc. I am a real birth junky (hence the User Name). And while I have always said that I am grateful that we have the medical care we do for women who need it, and while I was obviously one of the women who needed it this time around . . . I am having a really tough time with the grieving process over losing the homebirth I had planned, and more than that, the experience of labor. I never felt one contraction with DD, and although some of my friends think I am crazy to hear me say it, I was really looking FORWARD to labor, and going through the experience.

I am dealing with the grief one day at a time, thankful for my beautiful daughter and my smooth & easy recovery, hopeful for a VBAC next time, and very grateful to have found this thread.

Thanks for listening.


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## coloradoalice (Oct 12, 2005)

Bryn,

I know what you are feeling, it is really, really hard to let go of what you had in your mind as the ideal birth. I struggled with it so much, the biggest help was actually having my second baby and trying to have a much more open mind about the relm of possibility, and how to make a c-section a positive experience should it happen again. My second birth was great because I did get to experience natural labor which was my big goal. I am still mourning the loss of my VBAC, I really wanted to know what it is like to push a baby out. However, I am so thankful to have my healthy baby boy, and as any mother knows, I was willing to do whatever it took to help him be safe, even when it ment putting my desires aside. The healing takes time and acceptance. There are lots of us that have been there, we can all lean on eachother.


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## MaryLang (Jun 18, 2004)

This is a great thread. I am tearing up just reading everyones story. I know the feelings very well. My first was a c/s after a few days in the birth center, transfer to hospital, pushing for 2 1/2 hrs, rushed in for c/s, I think mostly I was too tired from being up for days with back labor (midwife never checked position), but when they pulled her out, they siad she was under my pelvic bone and had a telltale bruise across her fore head, so I probably couldn't have pushed her out.
2nd c/s, never really got a chance, labored (very early labor, I take a LONG time to kick in) 24hrs in hospital, and then just wheeled into the OR. Even though this one was very calm compared to the first I was way more affected emtionally and am now terrified of another surgery. I am due with #3 already in a few weeks which was a planned VBA2C all the way, until this week. I was in the hospital for three days with bleeding from the placenta. Its not a previa, but its really close and they think I am dialating and it is making the placenta bleed. This isn't the only issue, my baby has a very serious heart defect (AVSD) and a single umbilical artery, which they say is a good sign of Downs (although downs isn't a medical concern) any ways I have already been struggling with not being able to hold her right away, and I am having a really hard time accepting another c/s. I am really upset because my body has never done ANYTHING! Before labor starts. And I was a week late with both. This time I have been getting lots of BH's and am dialating and it seems like this is my chance, but it is being ripped from under me because the placenta is not in a good position. I don't want to do anything to cause more problems for dd, but I am so depressed about all of this.


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## Birth Junky (Jun 14, 2004)

MaryLang, big







to you . . .


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## redwolf2 (Jan 3, 2006)

MAryLang:







I am so sorry for your pain. Sometimes we have to deal with repeat c-secs and it can be so hard. I am praying for you and your babe and am glad you will soon be able to hald you precious gift.

I have had 2 c-secs. The first was a planned homebirth. SHe was posterior and we labored at home for 24+ hrs I pushed for 6 at home and she just wouldn't budge. I was showing signs of dehydration and we transported. WHen I got to the hospital they wanted me to get an epidural so I could relax and let the swelling go down. My midwife was trying to turn the baby the whole time so I was soooo swollen. My white blood cell count was too highfor the epidural. (It was right on the border, even though the count goes up when you labor anyway, duh!) So we had a c-sec. By that point I didn't even care. I had to have a general so I was not even "there" for the birth. On my way to the OR they tied my arms and legs down, I was screaming for them to wait b/c I was having a CX. They paid no attention and my legs were bouncing right off the table. I said," I'm not doing this again."

Preg # 2 I was planning HBAC with same midwife. I had some abdominal pain and had an US at 11 weeks. TWINS!!!! My midwife is 3 hours away and wanted me to have the birth near her and her backup, which meant birthing at someone elses house and leaving my DD and DH. Her backup wasn't covered on my insurance. I searched and searched for someone who wouldn't laugh at me when i told them I wanted to VBAC twins. I found a great doc and a great hosp. He would even deliver the boys vag if the second was breech. They came 6 weeks early and both were breech









I had another c-sec. the boys needed to be stablized so I didn't even get to see them til the following day. During the surgery he told me my uterus had a thin spot maybe where the boys werelaying sgsinst my pelvic bones. He said I could try to VBAC again but it would have more risks. I want my HB!!! I don't know if I have that trust anymore.

Anyway, I have gotten beyond my births and just got down to the business of raising my babes.

Thanks for this thread. It helps to get it off my chest.

namaste


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Beth, I wanted to personally congratulate you on your pregnancy. I knew you from the Baby Bargain Boards and then here. My hope and prayers are with you and that you have not only a beautiful birth (even tho surgical) but a beautiful, healthy baby.

{{{hugs}}}

Kim


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## dogmama (May 24, 2005)

Hi, I'm Mary. Thank you for this thread. I didn't know I needed to talk more about this, until reading the other posts. When I was pg with Elise, I knew very early she was breech. We tried all the tricks, including version twice- ouch! My doc would have delivered breech vaginally, but she had one leg up and one leg down. There was no way. So we scheduled a cesarean. The birth went beautifully, all things considered.
Four years later, pregnant with Helen Rose, the atmosphere in my area (Puget Sound) is so hostile to VBAC, I couldn't find a way to even try. This was hard because baby was head down, there was no indication that I couldn't have birthed her vaginally. So I agreed to schedule the surgery at 39 weeks, and prayed I'd go into labor sooner. I figured if labor started, I'd refuse a cesarean, but no luck. I reacted badly to the spinal this time, and was pretty miserable.
My sorrows- I never got to know what labor feels like. My babies weren't born on the day that Mother Nature intended. I had to be in a hospital instead of at home. I never learned if my body could handle labor.
My joys- Elise and Helen Rose are beautiful and healthy. I am alive. Both girls were in my arms shortly after birth. They roomed with me, and never left my arms. We began our nursing relationship right away.
I still grieve over what might have been, but I can't spend too long complaining, since Helen needs to nurse and Elise wants to read a book.
Peace,
Mary


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

I'll pop in for the roll call. I was posting in these threads until a few months ago.

My name's Lisa. I've had three sections, none of them necessary.

First was in 1993, for frank breech presentation. I arrived at the hospital after 20+ hours of labour, fully dilated, and ds1 was breech. I was hauled into OR over my objections, and the only thing that kept me sane was the belief that my next one would be a vaginal birth.

It took ten years for me to carry another baby to term (lots of problems with secondary infertility and miscarriages). The whole pregnancy was great...no problems, and an intended VBAC...until they determined she was breech at my 39 week checkup. The section was scheduled for two days later, and I agreed, because my doctors were so pushy about it. I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for going ahead with the surgery. DD was taken at 39w, 2d, and I think she should have stayed inside for a lot longer. I also had almost no colostrum, and it took days for my supply to come in - the only time I've ever had supply issue with breastmilk. At least I learned - I'll _never_ have a labour-free surgery again.

DS2 was going to be a VBA2C, and I fought the doctors for months. At 41w, 4d, my OB told me it was a section the next day, or he'd drop me as a patient. I panicked at the thought of UBA2C, and caved. I don't know if I'll ever forgive myself for that one, either...but at least I was in labour first.

I'm still really angry and depressed about the whole situation. I don't know if I'd feel differently if I felt my sections were necessary - but I don't. I never have. It's been a major emotional roller-coaster, and I don't think the ride's going to be over for quite a while yet.


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## turtlewomyn (Jun 5, 2005)

Hi, I am Kristen, I had an unnecessary scheduled c-section in October. My "post dates" baby (according to 12 w u/s she was due Sept 24, according to LMP it was Oct 3rd, she was sectioned on Oct 3rd) showed up big on an u/s. My medwife dumped me and the doctor she worked with scared me into a c-section by lying about the risks of shoulder dystocia, and telling me that they probably missed GD in me (I doubt it though, DD was perfectly healthy when she came out). She came out big, 9lbs8.5oz, but I am still not convinced that I couldn't push her out.
Fast forward to now, I am 6 months post section, wallowing in PPD and PTSD. I am talking to a therapist, and have gotten involved in ICAN. I want to keep unnecessary c-sections from happening to other women, and lend my support to all women that have been affected by their c-sections.
I am already working on plans for a VBAC, sometime around three years from now!


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## channelofpeace (Jul 14, 2005)

Hugs to all you Mamas, especially the ones that are struggling with their birthing history.

I am Erin and I have two beautiful babes and one on the way. I was planning a natural birth with my first. She was found to be breech (frank) at 36 wks, although i know that she was that way for a long time. We tried every natural thing we could to turn her, but she wasn't feeling it. I didn't know of any doctor's at the time in my area that did vaginal breech births so i had a section when i went into labor (well, i thought it was labor, but now i believe they were just strong bh and would have puttered out) My consolation was that i wouldn't have another section and that i was an excellent candidate for vbac.

We liked her so much we decided to get pg when she was ten months old. I started planning my hbac with dr back up. Went to see the doc at 13 wks and found out i was making the anti-kell antibody. DS had the antigen so i was monitored weekly for anemia. He remained amazingly healthy so i was planning a natural hospital birth. At forty wks, he was found to have very low fluid (1.8 cm) so i had a section. It was devastating, because i really thought that after all that with dodging the antibodies that i was actually going to get to have a vaginal birth. He was a very healthy 9 and a half lb boy. I had ppd the months following his birth. My doula training was very healing for me and i was finally able to tell him and myself that i made the best decision that i could at the time with the resources i was given. And i couldn't do any better than that for him or myself.

I am pregnant and we find out in a few weeks if Woodge has the antigen. If he doesn't, i am tentatively planning a hba2c. If he does, i am coming to peace with doing what i have to do to get this baby here safely. It is frustrating to me that if i hadn't had that first c-section, i would likely not be in this situation (with the antigen or with having to have c-sections) but i cannot change it now. Being a doula and witnessing the miracle of birth has been cathartic to me. It is so good to be a part of birth. I hope to take some of that feeling of miraculousness with me to my own birth, whether it be in my bedroom or in an OR. Blessings to all you Mamas!


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## Stone Fence (Mar 10, 2004)

I'm Amy. I'm almost 10 months post partum. I had a c-section after 2 hours of pushing and no progression.

I'm always second guessing my decision to do the section. I think if I hadn't been hooked up to an IV (GBS +) then I could have been on my feet walking, and letting gravity help. My babe was never in distress. I was just exhausted. He seemed to be stuck. When I got the boost (lidocaine?) in my epidural I was so excited to know I would finally meet my baby. Mostly, I had a positive experience. I recovered quickly. My babe is extremely healthy. I feel that I am not entitled to mourn my loss of an ideal.

Recently I read "The Red Tent" and got sad all over again for my birth experience.


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## lexbeach (Mar 6, 2002)

I had a scheduled c-section at 38 weeks because my twins were both breech. It was very traumatic for me. I felt a lot of the surgery, and felt very detached from my body. It took me a long time to really believe that the babies were mine and were the same babies who had been inside me. I had a lot of trouble bonding with one of them, and I think it was because of the c-section. I still have a lot of sadness about it.

I am 8 weeks pregnant and planning a homebirth. Assuming that I do get to birth vaginally, I think it will be very healing for me. I sort of feel like I'm *still* waiting to go into labor from last time. I want to know what it feels like and to see the baby come out of me.

Lex


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## coloradoalice (Oct 12, 2005)

I just want to encourage those of you who are facing another c-section in the near future that the best defence is a good offence. I know how it feels to know that you are going to have another surgical birth. So do what you can to make sure it is a positive experience. Have a birth plan. Share with your doctor at a pre-natal appointment how distressed you are because of your past experiences, and how you want this to be a positive birth. Share the desire for vaginal birth with your doctor and your nurse once you arrive at the hospital. Let them know you want to be involved as much as possible. Let them know how important it is that you see, touch, nurse your new little baby right away. Make sure your partner knows how vital it is that they stay with the baby all moments you can't so they can fill you in on what happened and you don't ever have to wonder. Remember, all hospital procedures can be postponed or refused. Let them know your priorities and have someone, your partner, a doula, a friend there to insure your desires are honored.

A cesarean section can be a positive experience, but it takes work and diligence to make it that way. I am wishing you all the best. My second c-section was such a healing experience, but it was in large part due to my change in attitude. We have not failed at childbirth. We have succeeded in being wonderful mothers that put our own wishes aside to do what was best for our children. A c-section is not the easy way out as many would like to label it. We can't view ourselves in such a negative light just because of one situation that was out of our control.

We are truly Goddesses!!!!!


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## mimid (Dec 29, 2004)

Hi! I'm Miriam and currently pg with my 3 girls. I guess, I lucked out because when we found out about the triplets at 6 weeks, everyone immediately said I would have a c/s so I started dealing with it then. After researching it I found out it is possible to do a vaginal birth for at least some of the babes, but then we had a couple issues with 2 of them that, even though they appeared minor I decided to do the c/s just to be safe. I guess that was my first big decision as a mom.

So now I'm working out the details of my birth plan and figuring out what I can do to make it as positive an experience as possible. We are shooting for a May 2nd birth day which would be 36 weeks, but my OB and peri admit that they have no idea what I'm going to do because my pg has been so uneventful and unlike anything they've seen. My OB even joked that I'd have the only triplets in history to go a month past my edd. I'd like to get them to the middle of 37 weeks, but these past 2 weeks have been tough so who knows.

I think it is great that this thread is here because I sometimes feel a little out of place at other places on MDC because I'm pretty comfortable and positive about my choice. I understand that there are a lot of women who got c/s for lame reasons and they have a right to be mad about it, but I sometimes feel like they are taking it out on me for my choice. KWIM?


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## Stone Fence (Mar 10, 2004)

So good to see you Mimi! It sounds like you're doing wonderfully.


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## J-Max (Sep 25, 2003)

Hi, I missed the last thread, but was a frequent poster before that.

I am Jess, mom to 3 girls, all born by c-sec.

My first was the result of being very young, and deciding that I and the doctors knew better than my mother (a very crunchy natural birther of 5). At 41 weeks, and after over a week of predromal labor, I agreed to an induction. Which led to the usual cascade of interventions. After 40 hours of hard labor, I tearfully agreed to the c-sec whith the complete agreement that I could have a VBAC with my next. My c-sec experience was not great. I had been awake for 3 days and was finally in no pain and had to fight to stay awake the entire time. I vagely remember her being born and shown to me, and I quickly fell asleep (still not sure if they gave me anything, but strongly suspect it). I slept for 8 hours and everyone saw and held my baby before me. It took me 3 days to get out of bed and I was in the hospital for 5. We also had a very bad ped who was not supportive of breastfeeding at all. He forced me into supplementing at 8 weeks (said he would put her in the hospital and have a CPS investigation started) because she was gaining slow. I really struggled for 3 more months, but was fully formula feeding by 6 months - when the ped said, "Well, she must just grow slowly".

My next preg was 5 years later. When I was 3 months preg, our hospital decided not to allow VBACs anymore. I REALLY struggled with the desicion. We could travel 2 hours in opposite direction to the bigger city hospital and possibly have a chance at a VBAC, or stay with the OB, who I really like and connect with (he was fightingg to change the policy, and had a very high sucess rate for VBACs) and are wonderfull small hospital. I decided to stay, but was still thinking about birthing in the bigger city. The baby had a single umbilical artery and spot on her heart, which were both markers for Down's. I also developed Pre-e (I still think these were all related). I was put on bed rest at 30 weeks, and delivered at 38 weeks. The birth was relaxed and I chatted with dh and the dr the whole time. Dh went will the baby while the dr finished (he lowered the screen so he could see me while we talked.)We did not tell anyone we had the baby until after I had held her and was ready to introduce her to our families. (I was out of recovery within an hour and back in my room, where dh had been cuddling the babe.) I nursed her almost immediatly and continued until she was 15 months and I was 5 months preg with #3. My recovery was fairly easy. I was out of the hospital in 3 days and healed quickly.

I really did not think I would get preg again quite so soon, but I found out I was preg with #3 on #2's first birthday. I shortly debated trying to find someplace to VBA2C, but dh was/is really against homebirth and midwives, and I ws not mentally prepared to fight at that point. I have a mostly uneventfull preganacy, except for breech presentation from 20 weeks on. My BP started to rise towards the end of the preg and the dr was worried about pre-e again. My oldest was scheduled for bladder surgery and the doc did not want me traveling the over 2 hours away at 37 weeks, unless I was prepared to deliver at the not calm birth, not breastfeeding friendly hospital where we were headed. I reluctantly agreed to the c-sec at 36 weeks. I would never do this again. I had the steriod shots earlier and she was still no where ready to be born. The birth was actually great. I had everything in my birth plan done like I wanted it, and we even video taped the whole thing. The baby came out gasping for breath and had apgars of 5 and 4. She was immediatly taken (dh went with her) and put in an oxygen tent. Her heart rate was really high and she was taking 3 times the normal breaths per minute. She had a scalp IV started and about a million interventions done (x-rays, MRI, ect). She had swallowed al lot of hair and still had lots of fliud in her lungs, so they could not inflate properly. They removed the air from her stomach and deep suctioned her more, and she finally stablized. This was 4 hours after birth. They were talking about life flighting her to the big city hospital we were trying to avoid, but she started to recover. I was in my room now, but dh was going between my room and the baby, and was a mess. We had a wonderfull FP doctor and she stayed there the whole time this was happening and came and talked to me in recovery and brought me pictures (I had only seen her for about 5 seconds). 10 hours after birth, I got to hold her. She was off oxygen, but still on a pulse ox and IV. She was not interested in nursing untill she was just over 12 hours old, but cought on quickly nad has not stopped since. She did not have any feedings or pacifiers that whole time, which I was so greatful for (or a bath







). She did not leave my or dh's arms for the rest of the stay. We left the hospital at 50 hours after the c-sec and never looked back. My recovery was really fast. I actaully did a 10K walk at 6 weeks PP (and finished in just over 3 hours - including the stopping to nurse)

Well, if you have read my novel, thanks!

We are not done having babies, and I am really torn on what to do. DH will not even consider a homebirth. My last 2 c-sec were not bad, but I would still like a vaginal birth. I am searching right now for someone that would possible take me on as a potential client, so that when I get preg (about 3 years), I have it all figured out.

I have a really good "natural" c-sec birth plan if anyone needs to look at one. I know I looked at a lot when I was making mine.

ETA: I just had to add that the timing of me finding this is just right. Today is the first aniversary of Lillian's due date.


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## mimid (Dec 29, 2004)

Great story, Jess! I hope you get your VBA3C next time around. That has to be my major concern about the c/s. I just don't know if they will say that because it was multiple/high risk pg that I'm not a candidate for a VBAC. I can't see how it would matter since it is still only 1 incision, but you never know what will happen when/if the time comes.

I would love to see your birth plan! I'm working on mine and think I'm just about done, but there always seems to be something I forgot. I'd like to have it by my next appt to go over with the doc so that I can edit/argue as needed.


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## mommyjamieof2 (Feb 17, 2006)

I would also like a copy of your birth plan I am trying to vbac but would like to have a backup for ceasarean if it becomes neceasary. Thanks


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## J-Max (Sep 25, 2003)

OK, here it is. It is really simple, but to the point.

Jessica's Birth Plan
> *Date:* 3/4/05
> *Birth Facility:* ******* Hospital
>
>
> Following is a statement of our childbirth desires. We have educated
> ourselves prior to making these choices and feel that we are prepared to
> follow through on them. We understand that complications do arise and in
> such instances trust Dr. *** and/or Dr. *** to make necessary decisions. We
> greatly appreciate your cooperation in realizing our plan.
>
>
> *CESAREAN SECTIONS*
>
> I would like my partner to be present at all times during the
> operation.
>
> I would like to be conscious.
>
> I would like the screen lowered so I can see the baby coming out.
>
> I would like to have one hand free to touch the baby.
>
> We would like to videotape and/or photograph the operation and baby coming
> out.
>
> I would like to have immediate contact with the baby (if the baby is in
> good health).
>
> *POST-BIRTH*
>
> I would like to hold my baby immediately after birth.
>
> I would like to wait until the umbilical cord stops pulsating before it's
> clamped and cut.
>
> I would like to postpone newborn procedures until I have had a chance to
> bond with my baby.
>
> I would like all newborn procedures to take place in my presence.
>
> If I can't be with my baby for newborn procedures, my partner would like
> to stay with the baby at all times.
>
> I plan to breastfeed my baby.
>
> I would like to breastfeed my baby immediately following the birth.
>
> I would prefer that no artificial nipples (bottles, pacifiers) be
> offered to my baby at any point.
>
> I would like 24-hour rooming-in with my baby.
>

I really recomend going in ahead of time and talking to the head nurse and going over your birthplan and explaining why these things are important and which ones are the most important. I did this and I think it is one of the reasons they were so good about no vaccs, no nipples, no bath, even when there were so many porblems with the baby.


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

There is a sticky at the top of this forum. I have included my birthplan there in great detail if anyone is interested. I had two really great cesarean births after a very horrific one and I can't think of anything right now that I would change if I was faced with a fourth cesarean.

If you have a birthplan (Jess please post yours!) for a cesarean birth, please post it in the above sticky. There are lots of women who only lurk on these threads and read only that one thread to get ideas about having a better cesarean birth.

Kim


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## mimid (Dec 29, 2004)

I just saw the sticky. Was it always there and I'm just a loser? (I kept trying to search, but it won't let me.)

Yhanks for the plans ladies! I lov eth etip about going in early to discuss it witht he nurse. It makes so much sense since they are the people who will actually be there most of the time.


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## Henry's_Mamma (Jan 23, 2004)

I haven't posted on this series of threads in awhile, but I saw it and decided to jump in again.

I'm Amy, and my ds, now almost 29 months old, was born by a c/s necessitated only by active management of labor -- confined to bed, not allowed to move much, eventual epidural due to awful back labor, etc. I had been in labor for 22 hours, pushed for 2+ and ds would not move past my pubic bone. He was posterior and born with a nice contusion on his forehead. I was told he was having non-assuring decels, but his Apgars were excellent (9 & 9), so I believe that in reality, the dr. was just trying to get home.

Anyway, I am pregnant again, due in August with ds#2 (I'm 21 weeks today) and am planning a hospital VBAC with a midwife. I wanted a homebirth, but it is illegal for midwives to attend HBACs in my state, and I am uncomfortable with a UBAC, so ... This mw has attended the births of nearly all of my mommy friends (although no VBACs among the group), and I like her a lot. She has a higher VBAC success rate than most 1st time mothers have for avoiding a primary c/s, which I think is excellent. So far baby is doing great. Mw wants me to labor at home until I hit transition, and then she'll deal with the nursing staff to get them to leave me alone and avoid/delay as many required "procedures" as possible (basically continuous fetal monitoring, and they don't have telemetry).

Emotionally I think I've dealt with my first birth at this point. I feel so much more confident this time around, and I also feel that if in the end a c/s is what happens, I will know that I will have done everything to avoid it and I have confidence that my caregivers will only suggest one to me b/c it is truly an emergent situation.


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Amy, Congrats on Your Pregnancy! I hope you get your VBAC!


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## zs25 (Mar 22, 2005)

i am zs.i had a schedule cesarean about two months back now.
By the grace of God,it really went well.
This was my third cesarean.My first two were due to failure to progress and featal hear distress.
For my first two cesarean i was given general anesthisa .my recovery was very traumatic.
This time i had another doctor who suggested spinal.
i researched about it in this forum, and i did get lot of courage by reading some of the post.so i finally opted for spinal.
The surgery was just great.The spinal injection was painless!i think it had to with the anesthatic who is supposed to be a good one.i did have lot of post operative pain.i think i was given less pain killers.and evn the i.v injections hurt a lot.
But i think, all in all everything was much much better that my earlier ones.
i am back on my feet soon here, where as for the earlier i was in a bad state emotionally for a long time.
i want to thank all the memebers here for the help i got.
also thank you for starting this thread...it is very much needed.
even though i would have love to have a natural home birth..it didnt happen to me..so instead of feeling bad about the whole thing, i think we should look at our cesarean birth postively so that we can feel postive and be postive and have positve outcomes.


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

ZS thank you for your comments. I think you are so write to when you say we can make it a positive experience when it is in our power to do so.


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## mamabeth (Jul 7, 2003)

Hi...it is so amazing to read all these stories...I feel connected to y'all and wish all of you the best.

I've had two cesareans, and I don't know if either was necessary...not sure how we can ever really determine that, but I'm mostly at peace with both of them at this point.

My first was after being induced at 42 weeks with pre-e signs, being in pit labor for 48 hours with almost no progress, fetal distress, and finally a c-sec. My doctor was very kind and the baby had been posterior and was 10 lbs 9 oz. I had some trouble bonding with her because nursing was very painful, not really because of the c-section...I recovered pretty fast even though I had pretty serious blood loss during surgery.

My second birth was almost six months ago, my gorgeous baby boy. I was planning a VBAC and everyone was supportive...I ate better, was running up until seven months, had great midwives, etc. But again I went overdue, almost to 43 weeks, and then we found out the baby was transverse at 42w4d. We decided to schedule a c-section for 43 weeks and talked to the doc ahead of time (checking out the cesarean goddess's birth plan, which is SO helpful and wonderful BTW!). He was very accommodating...I got to shower and go in early in the morning, felt the head come out, then his shoulders, as the doctor described everything, saw the baby "still wet" (my request) and then held him almost immediately in the OR. Dh did the first bath himself and I was nursing about 30 minutes later in the recovery room. If it had to be a c-sect, this was a great one!

I still do grieve my births, that I did not get to push my babies out and feel that connection. But I am so grateful to have them and although I am a strong advocate for normal birth I am grateful that cesareans exist.


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## TCMoulton (Oct 30, 2003)

Hi everyone - my name's Colleen and I have two beautiful daughters, one born vaginally and one born via C/S.

My first daughter was born in 2002 - my water broke at 4 am and at about 7an I finally admitted it to my DH. Arrived at the hospital at 8am prepared for a long day. Upon arrival I was not even fingertio dialated, but things started slowly but surely. By midafternoon my DD's heartrate was having some decels and disliked every position except laying on my left side. After a few hours on pit I got an epidural - three to be exact before it finally took on both sides, and at 8 that night I was dialated to 10 and ready to meet my baby. She didn;t like pushing, lots of decels, but we kept at it. At 9:30 the Dr started getting a little nervous so the vacuum was tried with no success - every time I pushed they could see her head but when I stopped she just seemed to suck back up the birth canal. Dr left for an emergency C/S and returned at 10, more concerned because there was mec and the decels were worsening. At this point the forceps were brought out and Dr said one more push and then we take the baby by C/S. Thankfully she came just in the nick of time and we discovered the reason for her stubborness - the cord was wrapped tightly around the neck 4 times. She was rushed to the NICU where she spent the first three days of her life before she came home one day after me. After the fact I found out that there were nurses praying for my baby they were so concerned for her after my birth - I'm glad that I didn't know that at the time. She is now almost four and shows no ill effects from her birth.

Almost two years later daughter # 2 is about to arrive and we arrive at the hospital under different circumstances - after only 3 hours of contractions I was dialated to 9 and had a bulging bag of waters. Water breaks an hour later and there again is mec - now I am starting to have deja vu of my first birth and am feeling a bit anxious. At 9:30 I was fully dialated and pushing like a champ with no progress whatsoever. Decels started and while the Dr was not concerned I had visions of another baby in the NICU who would not be able to stay in my room with me so I tearily started to ask for a C/S - please understand I felt at that moment that if we were headed down the same birth path that I would rather have a C/S and my baby in my room, safe in my arms than a vaginal birth with my baby in the NICU. Dr wisely refused my initial request, but knowing my history said that if I would give it 2 more hours we would discuss my options. After 2 hours I had made no progress despite plenty of effort on my past and I started to get a bit frantic. Dr decided agreed with me that a C/S just might be in order so off to the OR we went - beautiful DD was born shortly thereafter and we discovered that she had wedged her very large noggin at a strange angle that had prevented her decending. Could I have birthed her vaginally had I been more patient - maybe. Do I regret my decision - not one bit. While I had major surgery I was able to hold my daughter in recovery the minute I arrived from the operating room. Dr assured me while sewing my incision that she had every confidence that my next baby could be born vaginally which was wonderful to hear!
Was my C/S necessary, many here might say no and I hope that I am not flamed for my decision, but I live with no regrets because I am confident that I made the decision that was right for me at that moment.
Sheesh - sorry this is so long but I have never allowed myself to really put my experiences down before be in writing. Thanks for letting me be a part of this wonderful group of Mamas.
Colleen


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## egoldber (Nov 18, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *OnTheFence*
Beth, I wanted to personally congratulate you on your pregnancy. I knew you from the Baby Bargain Boards and then here. My hope and prayers are with you and that you have not only a beautiful birth (even tho surgical) but a beautiful, healthy baby.
{{{hugs}}}

Kim

Kim, thank you.

I'm curious if anyone with a planned C section had a doula? If so, was it worth it?

My doula from my last birth offered to doula for me again this time. I paid a lot of money last time, and she (well she and her partner) were well worth it, but I was planning a VBAC and labored at home almost the entire time. I haven't gotten into specifics with her (like if she would charge me or if she would "comp me" because of our circumstances) but I'm wondering if anyone else had a doula.

I'm thinking it would be nice to have someone stay with me in the OR while DH goes with the baby. With my first C section, baby and DH left the OR while they stitched me up and I was there all alone. (I had the baby with me in recovery though.) I'm anticipating that this baby may need to go to NICU or be observed, and I would like for DH to be able to go with baby, but I don't want to be alone either.

And if you had a doula, did you get a reduced rate because it was a scheduled section? My doula last time had 3 prenatal visits, plus laboring at home with you as long as you wanted, and none of that would be applicable this time.


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## redwolf2 (Jan 3, 2006)

egoldber~

I had the same doula for my first birth that I had for my second c-sec. My birth stories are on page one of this thread. My first birth she was well worth it. We had a long home birth that ended with me getting transported after hours of pushing. But with the second I was attempting a VBAC with twins. They were both breech and coming 6 weeks early so we had the c-sec. I called her to let her know and that she didn't have to come (it was Thanksgiving Day) but she came anyway. She was a blessing. I was very afraid (I had general with the first and was scared of being awake during the second) My husband was able to be with the babies and I was still comforted during the surgery and postpartum. They were in the NICU having trouble breathing so it was important for my DH to be with them while my doula was with me. I had given her a a deposit and she wouldn't except the rest of payment. (she had become a friend after the first birth) some doulas will do a sliding scale depending on income and if you talk to them about pay if there is a csec they will usually work with you.

I am so glad she came it was well worth it.

Good luck and blessings!

Namaste


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

I did not hire a doula, but my sister acted as one. I highly recommend having someone there that is there for just "you". I found it to be a source of comfort especially when Jeff left after I got to see the babies and they went to the nursery briefly. Also it was great for recovery. I had a long recovery period after Katie so it was really nice to have my sister with me and Jeff needed to escape a while to get lunch.


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## mamatowill (Aug 23, 2004)

I would like to introduce myself. I have lurked on this thread before. My name is Beth and my DS is 2 at the end of the month. I had an unplanned c-sec for his birth. The day before he was born I woke up at 6 in the morning and felt discomfort. I thought it might be gas and went to the washroom. It appeared to go away after that but I still felt that maybe my DH should not go to work. At about 7 in the morning my water broke. I ran to the washroom yelling at my DH that it was time to go. There was a lot of vernix and meconium in the fluid. When we got to the hospital they were very accomodating. My labour did not start until I was there. Contractions were coming very hard. Everyone expected the labour and delivery to go quickly (even me)./ I got an epidural because the contractions were so fast and they hurt. Things slowed down then. My DS's heart rate never changed with the contractions- the nurses commented that they had never seen such a good baby. It was like he was not in labour. By 4 that afternoon I was fully dilated. I did not push until 9 that night though. I pushed for 2 hours and nothing happened. The nurses started to talk about me bleeding too much because my uterus was tired. I was very exhausted by this point also. I had a nurse pushing for vacuum extraction but the OB felt that a c-sec was better. I was too exhausted to go on and agreed. They then said that they were going to delay the c-sec because the baby was not in distress and that the baby only counted not the mother. I was actually taken in quite quickly thanks to DH. When he was born I remember the OB saying what a big boy and wondering how big he was. It turns out that he was 11 lbs 2 oz. The doctor looked over the curtain at me and said that if we had tried to extract him vaginally both he and myself would have been severely damaged. He was with me from the beginning and nursed very well. Thank you for reading my novel. I don't really talk about the birth. Everyone just assumes that I had a c-sec when I tell them how big he was.


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## Birth Junky (Jun 14, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *OnTheFence*
If you anticipated having a csection or planned one, what if any dietary things did you do to promote your recovery?

No PRE-surgery recommendations for you (although I asked my midwives the same question), but I did take probiotics after the surgery. Antibiotics at the beginning of the surgery are matter-of-course here, and I wanted to reduce the chance of developing thrush as a result.


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## zs25 (Mar 22, 2005)

I had read somewhere about post surgery healing exercises.i cant find it now.can someone pls give me the link.
Also, does anyone know when is the right time to start exercising to loose the cesarean pouch(mine is too bad!).
thanks


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## coloradoalice (Oct 12, 2005)

Diet- Well, I was on a seriously carb restricted diet due to having GD while pregnant. Because of that I didn't gain any weight this pregnancy. (I initially lost 16 pounds and was back to my pre-pregnancy weight the day I gave birth. I also had the flu 3 weeks before he was born, I puked for 24 hours and lost 5 pounds which also came into play) Although I do not recommend dieting while pregnant, I think because of my circumstances it will aid in my recovery because my body doesn't have a bunch of extra weight to deal with.

Exercise- Walk, walk, walk!!! It's hard to get the time to do serious excerise, and I think that starting too early can do more harm than good when recovering from a c-section. I think it's best to walk at a pace you can handle, and then once you are able to handle a good clip just extend the length and distance of your walk. I don't know about you, but my breastfeed, co-sleeping, sling riding kids won't let me get away long enough to have a workout at a gym!!! Walking is great 'cause we do it together. (And wearing the baby helps burn those calories!!!)


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## lauriebeth (Mar 1, 2006)

thanks for this thread. i had a c/s 6 mo ago and was really hard on myself. i thought i could have prevented it...

now i know that this whole journey is a constant learning process, with no right or wrong answers. who knows if i will have another c/s? if i have to i have to. i would love to VBAC, but i have come to terms with my initial c/s.

I just pray that God will allow my DH and I to have many many more kids! We are loving parent hood (exhausted, sometimes cranky, but loving it







)


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## AnditheBee (Oct 3, 2003)

As for belly exercises, I found several websites that said Pilates is the best for that--I was doing it before I got pg, so I'll be signing up for another class this summer to re-start. It's great for the abs! I imagine you shouldn't start it until 6-8 weeks postpartum, though, at the earliest. It's fairly intense.

However, those same websites recommended isometric scar massage to prevent problems. Anyone know of a website that describes this procedure?


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## egoldber (Nov 18, 2002)

Anyone ever used a birth affirmations CD to prepare for a planned cesarean? I used hypnobirthing CDs last time to prepare for my VBAC attempt and I found them very helpful.

I found this one on-line but I don't know anything about it:

http://store1.infopac.net/anji/Detail.bok?no=14


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Bump, and saying Hi.


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## FireWithin (Apr 29, 2004)

I'm 39.2 weeks. My baby is breech. We found out at 37 weeks and have tried everything to turn her, but she doesn't want to. After much, much, much thought we have decided to schedule the c-birth.

I have a 3 year old who is very inquisitive and sensitive. I am trying to figure out what to tell him concerning a c-birth. He already knows that babies come from a mama's vagina. We try to be honest and clear with him without overwhelming his emotions or life knowledge.

What did you tell your young child to help him/her understand what will/did happen.

This is what he knows at the moment:

The baby's head is up. It is a better to have the baby's head down (well at least according to the medical community where I live). We have all tried turning the baby for the past two weeks. If the baby doesn't move her head down, I will need extra help from the doctor to get the baby out.

How did you explain the lower abdominal incision, with regards to your child being careful?


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## egoldber (Nov 18, 2002)

I didn't even tell my DD (3 when I had my last C section) that much information. She never really asked and we had so much else going on that it didn't come up. At some point she'll ask, but up to now I haven't really talked to her much about how she or her sister or the new little one will come into the world. I'm not hiding anything, but until she's curious enough to ask me about it, I'm not going to have the conversation with her. I think this time may be different because she'll be 5 and a lot more aware than she was at 3 1/2 of what having a baby means.

I did talk about my incision though. I just told her that mommy had an operation and was very sore so we had to be careful of mommy's tummy.


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## mamabeth (Jul 7, 2003)

yes, we didn't give my 3yo many details. I guess we told her that the baby was in mommy's tummy, and that it was time for him to come out. But she hasn't asked many sex/birth questions yet so I haven't really dealt with it. I told her I had a big owie (she is very verbal but we haven't given the "owie" word up yet!) on my tummy so she would have to be careful, that I could give her lots of hugs but not pick her up for a little while.

I think it's good to be honest but not to the point of freaking out your kid...they can hear it later when they are better able to understand, IMO. I definitely want my dd to know the "normal" way of giving birth though. not sure how that will happen but maybe not til she's having her own.


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## Ben's Mommy (Aug 11, 2005)

Bump. It seems there are some mamas out there now who may need this thread. Hopefully we can get it going again.


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## mommyjamieof2 (Feb 17, 2006)

I just wanted to update/post I have decided to try a vbac and I am being induced next week. I feel good about the induction and feel like I have a very supportive doctor to help me through it. Thought I might have better luck with some support from this thread rather than the others I have tried. Hope all is well with you all and your births are great no matter what way the baby comes out.


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## lexbeach (Mar 6, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommyjamieof2*
I just wanted to update/post I have decided to try a vbac and I am being induced next week. I feel good about the induction and feel like I have a very supportive doctor to help me through it. Thought I might have better luck with some support from this thread rather than the others I have tried. Hope all is well with you all and your births are great no matter what way the baby comes out.

Congrats on your decision to try for a vbac! That's great! I'm not trying to be unsupportive, but I thought that induction was a bad idea with vbac births? I'm just learning about vbac, so your post confused me, and I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. I was under the impression that it was safer to have a repeat c-section than to be induced for a vbac. . . But I'd love to be mistaken!

Lex


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## aweynsayl (Sep 27, 2003)

omg, this is awesome! thanks sandy for pointing me to it!

I cant wait to read all the replies!

My boy turns one month this weekend. He flipped breech at 39 weeks. We tried to turn him back, and he tried and almost did... but in the end, he decided the best way for him to come out was by the kind hands of a doctor. Full birth story here: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=444751

The first two weeks were hell, but then a few key things happened to start me on the path of healing....
~one was my midwife telling me that babies choose their birth, not the moms...
~another was going to a therapist who specializes in traumatic births-- and neonatal loss... and talking with her-- but also realizing that there are women who didnt have the option i did, of birthing a healthy happy baby.

And, yes, I DO consider it birthing.


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## eastkygal (Feb 19, 2006)

Thanks for this thread. I've really been wanting to recount my story for someone who might care, and respond in some way. I don't know what I want really in response - recognition maybe. I don't know.

I knew from the moment I conceived dd that I was not a mainstream mama. Dh and I already lived outside of the consumer culture that most of our family and friends lived in. I just didn't know that their was an alternative to birthing my dd. I didn't even know enough to research alternatives. Ignorance is not bliss. In eastern Kentucky, where I'm from, midwives practice alongside OBs and you don't have to see an OB unless their are severe problems. My sister had 2 natural beautiful births with a midwife in the hospital where I was present and her coach for the last one. Dh and I moved to the city after college and the situation was quite a bit different here. There is literally one midwife with a license to practice and I couldn't even find her. Kentucky has a law that midwives must practice alongside OBs to be licensed and no OBs in this city will practice with them. Anyway, I ended up going with an all woman 6 OB practice. I was disappointed.

Dh and I practiced for a Bradley birth after looking for different birthing methods. The docs began to say that dd was big (upwards of 10 pounds) very early. I had 6 total ultrasounds. Out of the 6 docs I didn't get along with only 1. I knew she would be the one to deliver dd - intuition.

At 37 weeks one of the docs said if I wanted any chance to deliver vaginally then I must be induced right away or face c-section. I agreed because it was so important for me to avoid c-section. When I got to the hospital the doctor came in after a very long time. It was none other than the only one I didn't like. She began to explain that dd could have cerebral palsy, die, have brain damage, etc... if I didn't have a c-section. I was scared then, and so was dh. None of our family knew enough to tell me to go ahead and try. I agreed to the c-section.

Disappointed and scared, I waited for my turn. I soon found out the doc had performed 4 c-sections before mine, and I'd have to wait my turn. When they brought me into the room they refused to let dh come in until after the epidural - the worst part. They joked with each other (10 people), and were listening to the radio. They wondered whether or not they should give me the epidural through my tattoo. I became very frightened and needed dh. I had never had a surgery before. They had to sedate me twice because my heartrate went too high.

Finally, dh was allowed in. I waited and could feel them pulling and tugging on my insides. When I felt the release, and I knew my baby was disconnected from me, all I heard was a doc say "It's head is the size of a bowling ball". I sent dh up to get her. I wanted her with me. I wanted their insensitive paws off her. I heard her cry. Dh told me she was beautiful. Finally, I held her. Dh told her it was okay, and she stopped crying. My heart warmed to the fact that she knew his voice, and felt safe. I felt so sorry for her, and so happy to hold her at the same time. She weighed in a 8.13 and was 20 inches. Not upwards of 10 pounds.

In recovery, they told me to tell them when my pain reached a 5 out of 10. I have a high pain tolerance, so I reached a 5 probably later than most, and I didn't receive my meds quick enough. The pain hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt out of control. Not only that, but they went ahead and moved me to my room, and the nurse ran off with my IV pole while it was still attached to my arm.

DD had trouble the first night. She choked on her fluids, and nurses had to rush in the room to suction her a few times. I refused to let her go to the nursery. She roomed-in the entire time. This was a blessing. I loved watching her rest, and holding her close to me. I quit taking any pain meds after the second dosage because dd was having stomach troubles and I didn't want any of the meds to pass to her. I was in pain, but I dealt. I was in the hospital for 5 days because they were afraid I had a pulmonary embolism. I had tightness of chest from being in the hospital.

At home, I was in major pain. I couldn't do much of anything. When I tried anyway, my incision tore open and began oozing pus. It took me 3 months to heal. I still have pain in my scar, and my outer scar is rather long compared to those I've seen.

I bonded with dd immediately, but I feel we were both cheated out of her proper birth. I don't feel complete for some reason. I feel like no one cares, and they think I should just chalk it up as a whatever. I feel like I was a victim of malpractice in that she just fit me into her schedule. I ache for our birth. DD is my pride and joy, and she is beautiful and healthy, and for that I'm thankful. I wonder how it would be different if I could have delivered her naturally.

I am planning a VBAC for my next dc. I want to have one around October 2007. I have educated myself and I have found a few midwives working "underground" to help with homebirths. I found MDC when dd was 5 months. I feel like I can't TTC again if I have to have another c-section, but I want dd to have one sibling.

I don't want it to sound like our experience was all horrible. In fact, I'm feeling guilty for even posting this. But, I need to talk it all out. Her birth was a beautiful, God blessed event. I am so thankful to have a healthy baby for so many are not as fortunate. I love her with all my heart. I created a storybook for her about her birth. The great parts only.









I think I need to cry.


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## mamabeth (Jul 7, 2003)

nak







easykygal...thanks for sharing your story. crying is a good thing, and it is definitely a kind of grief to not have the birth you wanted.

on another note, there are some awesome HB midwives in KY!


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## grumpyshoegirl (Mar 2, 2006)

I'm Amy, mom to four-month-old Julia, who was born by semi-scheduled c-section in December. I'm still processing what happened and I feel like lately I've only begun to realize the depths of my anger at myself and the entire system over what happened. This may ramble somewhat so please forgive me if this is hard to follow.

Julia was two weeks late and I was desperate to avoid interventions. We had hired a doula and I was going to a group practice that included a DO and two midwives (ironically, one of the MDs in the practice is probably the most open to alternative and natural medicine, but I didn't find that out until after the fact). I had a water-break scare two weeks *before* her EDD that turned out to be nothing, and people kept telling me that I'd probably go early.

At one week after the EDD, they had me scheduled for prostaglandins. This is the beginning of when things began to go wrong. After talking with my mom (whom I'm VERY close to), my husband and my doula, I decided to go in and get the prostaglandins and then make up my mind the next day about whether or not to go back in to get induced. Imagine my surprise when I got to the hospital and was told I needed to stay overnight, be monitored, have an IV, and then get the pit the next day. My husband was still at work, I hadn't eaten dinner, nor had I packed a bag. I almost decided to just leave but I was feeling emotionally vulnerable and didn't want to confront my midwife. What followed was one of the worst nights of my life. The hospitals were short-staffed on nurses, so we had a nurse from another unit, who was 22 and incredibly inexperienced. She couldn't even put in the IV properly and it was very painful. The room was too hot, I had a migraine, and the EFM kept me up all night. Anytime I rolled over, it lost the hearbeat and would start beeping. Around midnight, it ran out of paper and started beeping again. The overnight nurse woke me up at the shift change to introduce herself (?!?) and then told me to get sleep because I had a "big day" the next day. After almost no sleep, the super-bitchy OB who was on call came in to start the pit at 6am. I told her I wanted a shower and breakfast first, and wouldn't start the pit until my doula arrived. She started arguing with me that the sooner it started, the sooner I'd go into labor, and that it would take a long time so we should start now. I refused and she finally agreed to wait. I had a shower, ate and then she came back in to examine me and pronounced my cervix the most unfavorable she'd ever seen and told me it wouldn't be worth it to start pit, but we could try Cytotec if I wanted. Good thing I'd researched beforehand! I flat-out refused and said I was going home. This was December 22......I had a follow-up NST on Christmas Eve to make sure the baby was okay.

At the NST, they said we should reschedule the induction attempt for after Christmas (the 26th). At the time I was thinking, well, I have another few days to decide and if I don't feel like it, I just won't go in. I went into labor that night, during church! The contractions came on and off over the next two days, getting as frequent as every two minutes apart but never really going anywhere. We had decided to wait until I was in transition before heading to the hospital to minimize interventions but I never progressed that far. So on the 26th, after talking to my doula and husband, we decided we might as well go in and augment with pit, and see how far I'd progressed. This time we'd be prepared. We ate dinner, had our bags, and when we got to the birthplace, we set up the room the way we liked it, I changed into one of my own nightgowns, and THEN we told the nurses we were ready for the exam and the prostaglandin. We also taped our birth plan right to the monitor (the previous attempt, one of the nurses had thrown the plan away!!!). Unfortunately, the exam showed I was only one cm dilated and 50% effaced, but they decided to go ahead and induce any way. (BIG mistake)

I started having contractions within an hour and was managing them with no meds.....just massage, moving around as much as the $%(#*@! IV and EFM would allow, holding DHs and the doula's hands. The doctor on call was the DO I'd been seeing, but she gave the absolute WORST internal exams of any I'd gotten. She thought it would be good to "help my cervix out" so she was seriously trying to push my cervix open with her hand. WAY more painful than the pit contractions! Also, the nurse who came in on the shift change was a bitch, no bedside manner, wouldn't leave the room, and was upping the pit every fifteen minutes instead of every thirty like the previous nurse. At the next exam (still with the same doc), I had not dilated any more and was still only about 70% effaced. At this point the doc outlined the options: keep going and see what happens, take a night off and try again the next day, or go ahead and schedule a section. We opted to trying again and I got a night without any monitors (although they kept the hep lock in, ugh). I was still having contractions but they were much milder and I was able to sleep through them.

The next day everything started again. This time my favorite nurse was on, and she had made a request to have me as her patient whenever she was on and we were there, so that was better. Also, the "swing" MD on call at the hospital was the nicest, gentlest man I've ever met and very gentle with his exams, and just really sweet. He said he'd keep the internals to a minimum and told me unless things happened faster, he'd do his first check in the early afternoon. So although I was still having closely-spaced, pit contractions, it was a much better day. Then the bad news hit. When the doc did my exam, he told me I hadn't made ANY progress: still 1cm and 70% effaced. He said we could keep trying, take the night off and try again, or schedule a section. At this point I'd been in slow early labor/medium labor for four days, I was exhausted, I was sick of IVs and being poked and prodded, and I was worried about the effect of all the pitocin on my baby. My husband had gone home to shower and nap while my doula stayed with me, so I called him and we hashed out the options together. We tearfully decided to go with a section.

Thursday, my six-pound, fourteen ounce daughter was born by c-section. She had never dropped even after all those contractions and was high in my abdomen when they took her out. The operation itself was uneventful; I had double-layer suturing and didn't get infected or anything. But I won't pretend dealing with the after-effects was a picnic. I really missed that bonding period with my baby, the cut the cord before it had stopped pulsing because of having to finish operating on me, and I had a very difficult time establishing breastfeeding due to inverted nipples-- the c-section complicated things further because it was so hard to get a good position, and I ended up exclusively pumping for six weeks while we worked on her latch. Also, I've got a permanently numb area on my lower abdomen now, which my doctor said was common.

I'm now feeling like this whole thing could have been avoided if I had simply refused to allow myself to be induced, and instead gone in for frequent NSTs and AFIs, and just let the baby come when she was ready. Instead, I bought into the myth that a 42-week fetus is on death's door and that we needed to get her out. She wasn't too big, she wasn't in distress, and I feel like I missed out on a beautiful experience. I'm so upset that here I am, all psyched up for a natural birth and I wind up with a million interventions, and other moms who don't care and CHOOSE epidurals end up with normal vaginal births.

I'm definitely planning VBAC for my next baby, most likely HBAC, although I'm not entirely sure. Because.....in addition to everything *I* went through, my husband has AB blood and I have O blood, so all of our kids will have pathological newborn jaundice, which requires immediate phototherapy. The one upside of having the section was that I got to stay in the hospital with Julia while she was under the lights and make sure that nobody sneaked her any formula. If I do give birth at home, we may have some issues there.

Anyhow, that's my story.


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## luvmygio (May 2, 2006)

I delivered via c section due to a breech baby last August. I was none to happy to learn of this situation since I had planned a waterbirth, complete with no drugs and hypnobirthing. I was depressed for a week before the section and then decided to tackle my feelings and turn it around. I have learned that it is all about mind set. Our culture teaches us to be ashamed of having c sections... well not any longer, not for me. My section was planned, so recovery wasn't bad. (the first few days are pretty painful, but bearable) Yes, I now have a scar, but you can barely see it. Things C section let me avoid-- perineal tear!!! I don't know about you, but I rather enjoy sex and want to keep it that way. I was able to ENJOY sex after 3 weeks post op. In fact, it was better than ever. No incontinence. A friend of mine has had 3 b babes vaginally, she can't jump on a trampoline without wetting herself. No disfigured or mutilated gentitalia from tearing. Less chance of rectal, vaginal or uterine prolapse in the future. Did I mention feeling like a virgin again! There are some advantages to C section, so if you had to have one, or have to in the near future why not look at the brighter sides?


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## mamabeth (Jul 7, 2003)

hi grumpyshoegirl (what does that mean







it's cracking me up) and welcome. your story sounds very similar to mine with my first baby. Some of us are just ten month mamas! Sounds like a homebirth would be your best bet, because very few cp's will "let" you go past 42 even if everything's fine.

Take care and it's nice to "meet" you.

If any mods are following along, is there anyway we can "sticky" a cesarean birth support thread? Or should we just keep bumping to keep this on page 1? I think it's important that it's up so new mamas can see it.

oh and I crossposted with luvmygio...I'll just go ahead and say that this is a support thread for cesarean birth, not to argue the benefits/drawbacks of c/s. We are all at different places in dealing with it no matter when our births happened


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## luvmygio (May 2, 2006)

If you are a woman with an impending c section, how is it supportive to read stories about women who can't stand the thought of another c section? Isn't everybody relaying their opinion when they are upset about the CS they had and are striving for a VBAC? Everyone who writes about how disappointed they were with their c section is not lending support to the woman who is scheduled for a section next week. How do we change the cultural perception of CS mothers? I am not saying c sections for all, but they do happen and women shouldn't feel ashamed. Once I learned of my CS, I was upset. My cousin called me for support. Her first was a very difficult vaginal delivery. Her second was a breech and delivered via CS. She said if she were to have a 3rd, she would opt for C section. I asked why? She told me that if she had to choose between the perineal pain and repair, vs the abdominal pain and repair she would chooose the later. For me that was support. I had to hear that someone thought it was better than vaginal delivery, because society, literature and well most everyone tells us we are missing out . It is no wonder CS moms face higher levels of ppd.


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

This thread is for all sorts of support. Its for the woman who has had an unnecessary csection, its for the woman who didn't want a csection, its for the woman who needs a csection, its for women who want to VBAC, its for women who feel comfortable with their csections, its for women who want to have elective csections. Period.

Hope this clears the purpose of this thread up - cesarean goddess


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## AnditheBee (Oct 3, 2003)

EastKyGal and Amy, thanks for sharing your stories. Even though our experiences are quite different on the surface, I know I can relate to all the feelings you guys described. I _missed_ something, and it frustrates me to no end when people don't understand that.

EastKyGal, we have the same midwife law in Ohio, but there are direct-entry midwives here. I'll bet there are some down there, too, but it's kind of an "underground" thing given the legal status (or lack thereof). Any direct-entry midwife would be hard to find down there because there just isn't a "natural living culture" in that area at all...but it might pay to ask around if you meet any other folks who share your views of birth and life. For one thing I know there is a midwife in Mason, WV, which is pretty far from East Ky., but who knows? Some midwives will travel if you pay extra. I'll ask around and see if I can find out anything from the midwives here, so you can have that HBAC later on.









And Amy, that numbness may not be permanent. You're only, what, five months from surgery? Things can still change and heal. I felt healing happening for about a year and a half after my first c-sec. Pretty much all my feeling eventually returned. (Don't know about this time, though! Time will tell...)


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## egoldber (Nov 18, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AndiB*
And Amy, that numbness may not be permanent. You're only, what, five months from surgery? Things can still change and heal. I felt healing happening for about a year and a half after my first c-sec. Pretty much all my feeling eventually returned. (Don't know about this time, though! Time will tell...)

Just wanted to add my experience here. With my first C section I didn't get full feeling back around my scar area until I was at least 18 months postpartum. With my second C-section (a year ago), I had all feeling back by 6 months post partum. So it all depends. Definitely don't give up yet on getting feeling back!


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## Stone Fence (Mar 10, 2004)

I had it too for a long time (I'm right around 11 months pp). I didn't notice for the first few months.







I guess around 5-6 months it was at it's worst and now it's gone.


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## wombatclay (Sep 4, 2005)

I still have some numbness one year out, but it's sort of shifted around over the months. It's a smaller numb patch now so I'm still hoping that it will eventually shrink to nothing.

Has anyone had lingering pain around the spinal injection site? I had two spinals within a few hours of each other and ever since I've had a very localized pain...right along my backbone, running for maybe a half inch above and below the injection site. My doctor said she'd never heard of somthing like this (she didn't say it was in my head, but close!) but I wonder...anyone else experience this?


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *luvmygio*
For me that was support. I had to hear that someone thought it was better than vaginal delivery, because society, literature and well most everyone tells us we are missing out .

I searched the internet a total of six times, for a minimum of half an hour each time, before I found this website and ICAN. _Every_ other time I looked for cesarean support, I got topic after topic about how freaking wonderful they are...how they spare us labour, and the recovery is sooooo easy and on and on and on and on. I don't know where the "society, literature and well most everyone" you were referring to hang out, but I'd like to live there.

_Nobody_ ever told me that I was missing out on anything by having a cesarean. In fact, several people told me I was cheating or taking the "easy way" out. My first cesarean was in 1993. I hated it then, and I hate it now. I hate that I'll never, ever, ever know what it feels like to give birth to my own baby. I hate that I was forced (the first time) and coerced (the 2nd and 3rd times) into surgery I didn't want. Nobody _ever_ had to tell me that I was missing out, or that I'd been burned. The only friend of mine who had had a section before I had mine told me she'd never do it any other way.

There are a wide range of emotions that women feel after having a cesarean.

_For me_:
- Being told this was the "easy way" or having people sell me on the benefits is like telling a new bride who wanted to be a virgin that she's "lucky" she was raped a year or so ago, so she won't have to experience that awkward, painful wedding night sex. Nobody ever drew that analogy for me - that's how I felt when I got pregnant in 1992 - that's how I felt when I was wheeled into OR saying, "no - I don't want a f---ing c-section" in 1993 - that's how I felt when my OB pulled out on me at 41w,4d and I had the option of going unassisted (not in my comfort zone) or being cut a third time.

- Being told how great the recovery is just makes me feel like a wimp. With my first, I couldn't even stand up long enough to change my son's diaper at 3.5 days post-partum...with my second, I had pain that lasted for 7-8 months...with my third (9 months ago), I haven't recovered. I still have a sore spot where the incision got infected, and I'm still numb from my belly button to the incision almost all the way across my abdomen.

- Being told that there are other women who feel this way saved my sanity. I'd have gone mad if I'd kept running into women who think this was "easy", that I was "lucky", or that I "cheated". Before I came here, that was the _only_ attitude I could find anywhere.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wombatclay*
Has anyone had lingering pain around the spinal injection site? I had two spinals within a few hours of each other and ever since I've had a very localized pain...right along my backbone, running for maybe a half inch above and below the injection site. My doctor said she'd never heard of somthing like this (she didn't say it was in my head, but close!) but I wonder...anyone else experience this?

I haven't had that. But, both times I've had a spinal, I've felt a pain in the lower right side of my back when the injection was done. And, since my last section (9 months ago), I've had pain in that area that just won't go away...


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## pumpkinsmama (Aug 20, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride*
I searched the internet a total of six times, for a minimum of half an hour each time, before I found this website and ICAN. _Every_ other time I looked for cesarean support, I got topic after topic about how freaking wonderful they are...how they spare us labour, and the recovery is sooooo easy and on and on and on and on. I don't know where the "society, literature and well most everyone" you were referring to hang out, but I'd like to live there.

_Nobody_ ever told me that I was missing out on anything by having a cesarean. In fact, several people told me I was cheating or taking the "easy way" out. My first cesarean was in 1993. I hated it then, and I hate it now. I hate that I'll never, ever, ever know what it feels like to give birth to my own baby. I hate that I was forced (the first time) and coerced (the 2nd and 3rd times) into surgery I didn't want. Nobody _ever_ had to tell me that I was missing out, or that I'd been burned. The only friend of mine who had had a section before I had mine told me she'd never do it any other way.

There are a wide range of emotions that women feel after having a cesarean.

_For me_:
- Being told this was the "easy way" or having people sell me on the benefits is like telling a new bride who wanted to be a virgin that she's "lucky" she was raped a year or so ago, so she won't have to experience that awkward, painful wedding night sex. Nobody ever drew that analogy for me - that's how I felt when I got pregnant in 1992 - that's how I felt when I was wheeled into OR saying, "no - I don't want a f---ing c-section" in 1993 - that's how I felt when my OB pulled out on me at 41w,4d and I had the option of going unassisted (not in my comfort zone) or being cut a third time.

- Being told how great the recovery is just makes me feel like a wimp. With my first, I couldn't even stand up long enough to change my son's diaper at 3.5 days post-partum...with my second, I had pain that lasted for 7-8 months...with my third (9 months ago), I haven't recovered. I still have a sore spot where the incision got infected, and I'm still numb from my belly button to the incision almost all the way across my abdomen.

- Being told that there are other women who feel this way saved my sanity. I'd have gone mad if I'd kept running into women who think this was "easy", that I was "lucky", or that I "cheated". Before I came here, that was the _only_ attitude I could find anywhere.









that:

For me, when I see other women talking about how pain free their recoveries were and how great they feel after a section drives me up the wall. Especially when they are telling mothers who haven't had one that it is a "Great" choice. When i see people talk about their choice to have an "elective" C-section it drives me nuts. Because I know the type of pain that can result, just because they haven't experienced it yet, doesn't mean that they won't with their second or third section. The info on the net about pain after section is miniscule, there is no real support there. And most irritating is when I try to talk to the doctor about the pain I have and he/she says that it is "normal".

Quote:

luvmygio If you are a woman with an impending c section, how is it supportive to read stories about women who can't stand the thought of another c section? Isn't everybody relaying their opinion when they are upset about the CS they had and are striving for a VBAC? Everyone who writes about how disappointed they were with their c section is not lending support to the woman who is scheduled for a section next week. How do we change the cultural perception of CS mothers? I am not saying c sections for all, but they do happen and women shouldn't feel ashamed. Once I learned of my CS, I was upset. My cousin called me for support. Her first was a very difficult vaginal delivery. Her second was a breech and delivered via CS. She said if she were to have a 3rd, she would opt for C section. I asked why? She told me that if she had to choose between the perineal pain and repair, vs the abdominal pain and repair she would chooose the later. For me that was support. I had to hear that someone thought it was better than vaginal delivery, because society, literature and well most everyone tells us we are missing out . It is no wonder CS moms face higher levels of ppd.
05-02-2006 07:56 PM
IMO a simple rundown of the possible problems and sayiing "I am here for you" is much better than possibly setting you up for a huge let down when your pain level is much larger than hers was. My idea of support would just be to say that they will be there for me, and ready to talk about how great I thought it was, if that were my reaction or how terrible if it went the other way. No offense but you could have been totally blindsided.

Quote:

wombatclay I still have some numbness one year out, but it's sort of shifted around over the months. It's a smaller numb patch now so I'm still hoping that it will eventually shrink to nothing.

Has anyone had lingering pain around the spinal injection site? I had two spinals within a few hours of each other and ever since I've had a very localized pain...right along my backbone, running for maybe a half inch above and below the injection site. My doctor said she'd never heard of somthing like this (she didn't say it was in my head, but close!) but I wonder...anyone else experience this?
I have a large numb patch two years out. I did have some pain at the injection site, but it went away after a couple of months. I think maybe it bruised or pinched something that healed itself eventually.


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## mamabeth (Jul 7, 2003)

with my first c/s I had some weirdness at the injection site...can't say it was pain, but more like itching or something. But it went away after probably 6 months. I still have some numbness (at 6.5 mo pp) but only in the center of the scar, and it doesn't bug me like it did.

I have a question...I have a severe diastasis (will probably require surgery) after I'm done having kids. Anybody else have one of these? How do they repair them? do they go in through your c/s scar or what? I'm not sure if we're done having kids but I'm just wondering about this operation and if it's similar in recovery to a c/s.

As for the post about how great c/s are....has anybody considered this may be a troll? I'm just not responding bc even if it's not it's WAY off the course of this thread and I don't want to dignify her/him with a response, KWIM?


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## luvmygio (May 2, 2006)

Yes, I could have been blindsided. My c section could have been worse. I will never know what it is like or will be like to experience vaginal delivery. Who knows-- that could have been a horrible experience-- could have been great. I don't know and will never know. I don't let it get me down. I am sorry to have offended anyone my intent was to try to help, but I guess I am far off the mark here. I can't believe that someone would compare feelings of being raped to that of a CS? There are people who can't conceive-- I was so lucky, no matter how my baby came out. I am done here, clearly I am in the wrong place.


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## pumpkinsmama (Aug 20, 2005)

I think things may be getting misread. I was just stating my opinion. Everyone percieves their experiences differently than it can look from the outside. To some women it may feel like being raped, emotionally. And there are more women who know what that feels like than don't so I wouldn't call it an exaggeration on their behalf, without giving the benefit of the doubt. Other people see a c-section as a lifesaver and it can be for some. Then there was a post somewhere about a woman who had the personal tragedy of a rupture, for her a c-section will be her only choice. I can respect everyone elses opinions. I was just voicing my frustration over people being misled. Some women with "impending" sections have a choice some don't. For those that do, it really bothers me to see them given infomation that isn't always true. But in no way do I judge their decisions.


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## eloquence (Apr 25, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *luvmygio*
I can't believe that someone would compare feelings of being raped to that of a CS? .

Totally jumping in and do not belong here but...That is not uncommon at all. I've heard that so many times in support groups.


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## wombatclay (Sep 4, 2005)

Thanks all!

The pain around the injection site that I'm describing didn't become noticable until maybe 5-6 months after the c/s. I often have back pain and wasn't really paying attention until my dh pointed it out...he noticed that when he rubbed my back I'd always yelp when he touched that spot, and that it seemed a bit "swollen".

I'm thinking it might be a bulging disk (perhaps a combination of weakness due to the injections, chronic back problems, and lifting gi-normous baby?). I'll have a chiropractor look at it when we have the budget for that sort of treatment...I just wondered if anyone else had a similar experience since my doctor sort of said point blank that spinal injections don't cause long term pain/problems, but the location of the "ouch lump" seems a bit to coincidental, kwim?

Quote:

I have a question...I have a severe diastasis (will probably require surgery)
There's actually a section on diastasis surgery and repair in the book "Lose the Mummy Tummy". You might be able to find it at your library or read through the section at the book store if you don't want to buy the book (it's an exercise book designed to help women close the diastasis, so it might be a good one for you to have anyway).







I don't know if they'd go through your existing scar (there could be adhesions or heavier tissue that could cause problems) but I'm sure they'd work the closure so that you'd have only a single scar after the procedure if at all possible!


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *luvmygio*
Yes, I could have been blindsided. My c section could have been worse. I will never know what it is like or will be like to experience vaginal delivery. Who knows-- that could have been a horrible experience-- could have been great. I don't know and will never know. I don't let it get me down. I am sorry to have offended anyone my intent was to try to help, but I guess I am far off the mark here. I can't believe that someone would compare feelings of being raped to that of a CS? There are people who can't conceive-- I was so lucky, no matter how my baby came out. I am done here, clearly I am in the wrong place.

For what it's worth, if you're still around...

There used to be a poster here who had been raped, and she said, more than once, that her c-section was _worse_.

I haven't been raped, but I have been attacked at knifepoint for oral sex, and I have been sexually abused (as a small child by a relative, and by a janitor when I was 12). I'd go back to either of those experiences in a heartbeat if they could wash away my cesareans. The guy with the knife didn't actually stick in me, and pull out my internal organs, then turn around and label me "high risk" for the rest of my reproductive life. And, the janitor never actually physically hurt me at all. Neither of them wheeled me into a terrifying room while I cried and said, "I don't want this. Don't do this" over and over again. Only my caring medical professionals have ever treated me like that.

I'm happy for you that it wasn't like that for you. But, it's like that for a lot of women. And, saying "misery loves company" is just being insulting. I went through over 10 years of having everybody and their dog tell me that I wasn't in as much pain as I was in, that my pain wasn't important, that I at least had a healthy baby, etc., etc., etc., So...yeah...now that I have people to talk to who actually understand, there's a fair bit of crap piled up that needs an outlet.

Yes - there are people who can't conceive. My grandmother had to adopt my dad and my aunt. (Interestingly enough, she felt terrible for me that I had to have a section.) For four years after my first c-section, I was one of them...then I conceived three times, and lost my babies. It took me 10 years to carry a second baby to term. I'll never know if my first section had anything to do with those difficulties. My OB tried for three months to talk me into a tubal ligation with my last baby....for no reason, other than the fact that my babies have all been "born" by cesarean section. Not being able to conceive because the OB says, "we've done enough damage" isn't so great, either. (I didn't go along with it, though.)


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Okay - that's twice I've come to this thread to post something, and been distracted. *sigh*

I finally gave my doctor (my FP, not my OB...I'm still working on that one) the letter I wrote her about how I felt after being railroaded into a third c-section. Her office called me back after she read it, and said she'd like me to come in and talk. So...I'm going in next Friday to talk about it. I'm not sure it's going to really accomplish anything, but at least I gave it to her. I was really nervous.


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## mamabeth (Jul 7, 2003)

good for you storm bride. please let us know how it goes.


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## eastkygal (Feb 19, 2006)

luvmygio - I think you have it wrong when you state that our culture downs c-sections. It is quite the contrary when we have needless c-sections happening everyday, and people electing to have a c-section just to avoid a vaginal birth. I've been told I was lucky many times. Also, I don't think any of us are saying we aren't thankful for our babies. I thank God everyday for mine, and that she made it through her birth safe and healthy no matter how it happened. I just felt we were cheated because ours wasn't neccessary. I'm just trying not to blame myself for that. Perineal tear doesn't have to happen in a vaginal birth either if the midwife does perineal massage. I know because I have personally seen it work. I have seen my sister heal from two natural births in a matter of hours, with minimal soreness, and be able to enjoy her babies without intense pain in her abdomen. She also loves sex, and it is great for her.

If luvmygio is not around anymore, I'm sorry for this, but I had to respond.

Thanks for the replies about our story. I have found a direct-entry midwife here in the city. I'm not living in east ky anymore. If I had been, I'd probably been better off. Midwives are very supported there. I'm going for a HBAC. I'm going to research and prepare myself.

Also, dd is 9 months, and I still have burning and pain in my scar. Is anyone experiencing similar things? When will it go away?


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## amm0406 (Mar 24, 2006)

I had a C/S in April 04 after amnioinfusion for meconium, Pitocin augmentation, epidural, uterine catheter monitoring, AROM, and eventually because they thought my dd was too big to come out. They found out during the C/S that she was direct occiput posterior (face up) and that's the only reason they did the c.









I am pregnant with #2, due 11/17 and really on the fence on delivery options. I don't know if I'll do repeat C (my OB is pushing this of course), VBAC, or HBAC... I labored fast and hard and got to 7 cm without drugs but am so afraid I wouldn't be able to do it naturally. I don't have that sort of faith in myself I guess.







Home birth is kind of hard for us too being in an apartment but I still haven't ruled it out if I can get the guts built up.







: Hospital VBACs are a rarity here in Philadelphia after a hospital got sued for 28 million dollars over a botched VBAC.







:


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## pumpkinsmama (Aug 20, 2005)

How did they botch it? I am just curious because without knowing that they (the hospital) were neglectful beyond belief, I am really kind of ticked off at the family for suing and lowering all of our chances for vbac's. $28 million is a huge amount of money, especially when the government only allows payoffs in the hundred thousand range if they kill your child with vaccines.


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## wombatclay (Sep 4, 2005)

Strom Bride- my hat is off to you mama! That takes a HUGE amount of courage and conviction. Please let us know how it goes..


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## AnditheBee (Oct 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eastkygal*
Also, dd is 9 months, and I still have burning and pain in my scar. Is anyone experiencing similar things? When will it go away?

I had some pain and sharp twinges in my scar off and on for 18 months or so after the surgery. I gather that's not unusual. I guess it depends on how much pain you are having and how often--but if it's not much, I wouldn't worry. Just takes a long time for the nerves to re-grow and such.


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## amm0406 (Mar 24, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pumpkinsmama*
How did they botch it? I am just curious because without knowing that they (the hospital) were neglectful beyond belief, I am really kind of ticked off at the family for suing and lowering all of our chances for vbac's. $28 million is a huge amount of money, especially when the government only allows payoffs in the hundred thousand range if they kill your child with vaccines.

Apparently something happened and the child ended up with cerebral palsy because they didn't do an emergency C when they should of? I'll try to find an article on it and post the link.


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## amm0406 (Mar 24, 2006)

http://www.commonwealinstitute.org/r...t-Oct20041.pdf
Pg 37 of this PDF - the paragraph that starts with "anecdotal" explains the whole case.


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## grumpyshoegirl (Mar 2, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride*
I finally gave my doctor (my FP, not my OB...I'm still working on that one) the letter I wrote her about how I felt after being railroaded into a third c-section.

If you don't mind my asking, what did you say? I've been contemplating writing a letter to the group practice that handled my pregnancy and am not quite sure how to word it or whom to address it to. (The induction is a policy of the whole practice and four of the six CPs in the practice were actively involved in my care up to the section.)


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## pumpkinsmama (Aug 20, 2005)

Quote:

Anecdotal evidence suggests that a rise in "bad baby" cases has occurred since doctors decided
that it was safe for women who had once had a C-section to deliver a second baby vaginally.
These are called VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Caesarean) cases. But catastrophic injuries to both
mother and baby occur when the doctors ignore birthing problems in their mind-set that VBAC
is safe. A classic example is the 1998 delivery of a baby girl at Lankenau Hospital in
Philadelphia. The mother had been admitted on the basis of a telephone call by the most senior
member of the medical group, but her care was handled by the most junior member, who was a
year out of residency. The baby was shown to be in fetal distress at 5:50 p.m., and a prominent
expert witness for the plaintiffs said the baby should have been delivered by C-section within
twenty or thirty minutes. Instead both the doctor and the chief nurse ignored the mother's pleas
and the monitoring. The baby was vaginally delivered at 7:14 p.m. and the mother's uterus had
ruptured sometime before that. The hospital had a written protocol for determining the need for
C-sections in VBAC situations. But neither the doctor nor the nurse had read them, and admitted
such. At least seven of the fifteen written criteria for a C-section were found in the medical
chart, and others were confirmed in deposition. The jury awarded $24 million to the mother and
child, who is profoundly brain damaged and afflicted with cerebral palsy and will never walk,
talk, or eat on its own. During post-trial motions the defendants settled the case - but insisted on
a confidential settlement.110
It is certainly not true that recoveries in bad baby cases are consistently shooting up everywhere.
http://www.commonwealinstitute.org/r...t-Oct20041.pdf

amm0406, thanks! That clears it up a little. It sounds so very different from what I usually hear happens, the mom pleading for montoring and the doctor ignoring her. I haven't heard a story like this before, but the article makes it sound common. After reading that, I no longer feel at all that she shouldn't have sued! What a terrible story.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *grumpyshoegirl*
If you don't mind my asking, what did you say? I've been contemplating writing a letter to the group practice that handled my pregnancy and am not quite sure how to word it or whom to address it to. (The induction is a policy of the whole practice and four of the six CPs in the practice were actively involved in my care up to the section.)

I wrote six pages, so obviously I can't repeat it all here. But, I basically told her how upset and angry I was at how my feelings and reactions were ignored. (For example, I'd told both her and the OB that I knew I'd suffer from PPD again if I had to have another section, and was told that I "could have PPD, anyway". That's true, but "could" and "will" aren't the same thing.) I also explained that the "I'm fine" that comes out of my mouth whenever I come to the office is totally meaningless, and has nothing to do with how I really feel. I mentioned that I'm still numb, and still haven't healed properly and my bladder still doesn't feel right, etc. I also talked about how wrong I think it is to threaten me with unspecified risks and put pressure on me to have surgery, without ever discussing _any_ of the risks of that surgery.

I can't really remember it all. If you'd like to read it, PM me your email, and I can send it to you...


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## pumpkinsmama (Aug 20, 2005)

Wow, that just sounds awful, StormBride. I hope that your letter and discussion really make her think twice next time she is in that position.


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## pumpkinsmama (Aug 20, 2005)

Ughhhh. I just got done with my 16wk ob apt. I can't wait to get back to the states so I can start shopping for options and maybe a midwife. I asked out of curiosity if there was any chance that if I had a repeat section with this baby they could cut away the old adhesions and maybe help end some of this pain (which is really getting to me, now it is every time I stand up/cough/sneeze/laugh too hard and achy when I'm not doing anything) and she said most likely not. Which I was expecting, it is scar tissue so cutting again can always cause more scar tissue. What really ticked me off, was that DH (who is totally against me having a homebirth and very against VBAC) apparently heard that while they couldn't garuntee anything it would probably help a lot. Which one of us has selective hearing the worst????

Well it isn't his birth, so he doesn't "really" have any input anyway. I find it odd that someone who so rarely does any research on these things can have such strong opinions on what is best!

ETA: OB apts are much more enjoyable on the whole since I started telling them what to do instead of being told!!! I don't even know if they would have done anything like it at this apt, but after reading a lot here after the birth of my son I found out that you can say NO. I really didn't believe that, I had always been taught to listen to people in authority, police, teachers, doctors. Anyway at the first apt. I didn't let them do a pap smear (they couldn't believe I said No, I couldn't believe it either but didn't back down) and at this one I didn't even have to worry about whether they would be doing something I would be uncomfortable with. If they tried, I would just say no. Fantastic to go through a pregnancy without dreading apts!!!! I love this NO thing!!!


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## faeriedreams (Feb 16, 2003)

Hello, I have a c-section related question. My sister had planned a homebirth, but discovered that her baby was breech when she was fully dilated. Her midwife recommended she have a c-section, and she was transferred to the hospital and given a spinal. She just left the hospital yesterday, and has had a persistant neck pain for the last few days. The pain alternates between a sharp, very painful pain to a dull ache. Has anybody else experienced this?
Could it be due to the spinal? Any recommendations on natural remedies to relieve the pain? She is still taking pain medications for the c-section, but they do not stop the neck pain at all.

Thanks for your help!


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## allycat (Apr 23, 2006)

Hey Everyone-

I have been reading many entries here and thought I would share my own.

I did have C-section after labouring for 6 hours (6pm contractions started by 2am I was pushing), got to 10cm, was in a lot of back and hip bone pain with sciatia down to my toes. The doctor did tell me that the baby was well positioned, and asked to break my water earlier but I told her no - and it broke slowly as I started to push.

I did push for 2 hours, and wondered why my DS was not coming out. The doc said his head was slightly rotated to the left and tried to manually turn him with her fingers. This was the beginning of another 3 hours of pushing (it is involuntary at a certain point), 3 epidurals that did not work, and an epidural block, and 2 local anesthetics. Finally went to a C-section after trying forceps (for another 1.5 hours) to get the baby out.

After being in so much pain for sooo long, and seeing the daylight once again after labouring all night I welcomed my C-section, and the meds to relieve my back/hip pain. DS was just not coming out as he was wedged in my pelvis. And at this point I did really want him out.

Having had pelvis pain from 4 months onward, I can understand why I was in so much pain during the delivery.

I thought I would be a bit disappointed in my experience as I really wanted to have a natural birth - which I did up until he was not coming out and I was sooo tired at the end. My body is just not designed to have large children - he was only 8 pounds, 5 ounces - 21.5 inches long (which I hear is normal?).

Maybe on the next child I will spontaneously go into labour before the end of 40 weeks so that this option will be available to me once again.

So, for those of you who had 'no other option' as the kid was just not coming out, I hope you do not continue to be too hard on yourselves. Your baby is here - beautiful, and healthy.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Okay- talked to my doctor yesterday. I left in a good mood (that changed when I got a call from ds1's school - he broke a bone in his hand yesterday, and I spent 6.5 hours in ER. His year-end field trips for his 7th grade "graduation" are completely blown.







).

Basically:

She still won't admit that I didn't need my last cesarean.

She's glad I wrote the letter, and thinks it probably helped me a lot.

She said that "we" (doctors) need to hear these things, and remember that there can be lasting repercussions to the surgery.

She acknowledged that my first section (1993) has had a massive negative effect on reproductive life/health since then.

She asked if there was anything she could do to help _now_.

She's going to look at my hospital records from my first section, and see if she can figure out why it was done. All I was told is that it was because my son was breech...but our hospital wasn't doing c-sections for breech babies at that time. I may still request my records at a later date, but I do appreciate the offer, which came about when I mentioned my frustration over not even understanding how all this c-section crap started.

She said that she and my OB obviously failed to give me the emotional support that I needed, and apologized for that.

She did mention my healthy children, but only in a "try to look at the positive" way, instead of the "it's all that matters" way. She never once tried to tell me that we got a "healthy mom" out of this...

I wish she's acknowledged that ds2 would probably have been just fine without the section, but aside from that, I feel pretty good about the whole discussion. This certainly doesn't just make it all go away, but it does help that she recognized that I had no feeling that I had any say in what was done to me, and that _sucked_. At least I can hear her name without my blood pressure going up now!


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## pumpkinsmama (Aug 20, 2005)

Maybe she can't admit you didn't need the last one because that would mean she was wrong ?

Absolutely doc's need to hear those things and remember that their actions have long lasting effects!!!







And it is pretty rare someone like you comes along to remind them. Good going!

It sounds like you really got through! She doesn't get a perfect score, but sounds like she is coming along.


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## AnditheBee (Oct 3, 2003)

I'm glad it went well, Storm Bride. Maybe someday I'll have the nerve to confront my last OB about my last c-sec, but I doubt it--he'd never listen in a million years. I'm glad yours seemed to at least acknowledge your issues/feelings and not try to convince you you're wrong for feeling that way.

And yeah, I agree with pumpkinsmama--I think in general docs can't admit when they're wrong, partly because they're doctors and partly for the risk of litigation that their admission might bring about. Why does medicine always seem to come back to the topic of litigation these days?? Very sad...


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## CountryMom2e (Apr 1, 2005)

Hi all - so nice to find a supportive thread for c-section. This has been a hard decision for me but I now know it is the right one for my body and my baby.

I planned a natural hospital birth with DS - terrific doula, CNMs I adored & trusted, but in a major medical center just in case. I developed rapid onset preeclampsia at 39 wks, and my MWs wanted to induce if I did not go into labor, thankfully baby had it all set and the next morning my water broke. I labored at home for awhile, went to the hospital, checked in... and immediately my natural birth plan went out the window. Contrax went from every 7 m to every 3 (90 sec contrax, 90 sec break), and I begged for pain relief. I dialated rapidly, and once I had an epidural, was feeling great and once again in control. I could feel contrax before they hit, but could actually breathe in between. Pushing was great, but after a bit I felt his head *stick* a bit.

We pushed for over 3 hrs, until I noticed a lot of people in the room. DS had decells that were non-reassuring, probably due to my intense and rapid labor. My BP was continuing to climb despite the mag sulfate, so my MWs and their OB recommended we stop pushing for awhile and put me on oxygen for an hr. His numbers did not improve, nor did mine, so the recommendation was for an emergency c-section. After a good cry, we moved into the OR, and my son was born with 9 & 9 apgars. The OB mentioned something about his cord may have been short, my MWs felt that his head was not quite aligned which would cause both the hyper-rapid labor (3 cm to 10 in 3 hrs) and the failure to descend. My doula, who is also a MW, told me that had I been her HB, we would have wound up also with another c-section.

Still it was a difficult recovery (my p-e worsened after birth too, so I spent a week after discharge on bedrest after a harrowing ER visit), and I wept a lot for the birth I never experienced. I wondered if the choices I had made, specifically for pain relief and a hospital birth, had influenced the outcome.

After time to heal, DH and I were happy to TTC our little miracle boy, who is due to be delivered via repeat c-section this Wednesday. I had full plans for a VBAC, but once again things change. I developed preeclampsia again at 27 wks, and have been on full bedrest for the past 3 months. The past two weeks my p-e has worsened to the point that we have been on a daily alert to go and deliver if my pressures creep any higher (currently 145-150/95). I decided that my body could not take an induced, pit-only VBAC on top of the stress that the p-e has caused (not to mention that I am weak from all of the bedrest). So I asked for a scheduled c-section if I had to deliver early, and a VBAC if I go into labor beforehand. Through sheer will, family support, and lots of rest I will make it to almost 39 wks, which is truly amazing for p-e.

While I am scared of major surgery again, and concerned about my DS1 and how he will be while I am away, this has been a long and difficult pregnancy and I am eager for relief and to allow my body to heal. I am focused now on welcoming the baby, spending time with both of my sons, starting slowly the healing process, and looking forward to each day getting better, instead of worse.

Thanks ladies!


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## mamabeth (Jul 7, 2003)

Hi Mel! Best wishes for a wonderful birth and a healthy baby. Do you have a c/s birth plan? If not the "cesarean goddess" (on the fence) has a wonderful one that was helpful to me with my planned c/s.

Come back and post your birth story in a few days!


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## Throkmorton (Jun 30, 2003)

Hi all!

I've been lurking on the support threads, while holding out hope that I could avoid a RCS later this week. Since it doesn't look like that will happen, I thought I would ask you knowledgeable ladies for advice while i work on my birth plan.

The big thing that is stressing me out is post-surgery pain relief. I am allergic to tylenol and have weird issues with any opiate narcotics. So, no morphine because it makes me sick as a dog (which they give me anti-nauseants for, which make me sleepy.... etc) unless there isn't a lot of other options.
Does anyone have any suggestions on what to put on my birth plan regarding pain medication post-surgery?


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## egoldber (Nov 18, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Throkmorton*
The big thing that is stressing me out is post-surgery pain relief. I am allergic to tylenol and have weird issues with any opiate narcotics. So, no morphine because it makes me sick as a dog (which they give me anti-nauseants for, which make me sleepy.... etc) unless there isn't a lot of other options.
Does anyone have any suggestions on what to put on my birth plan regarding pain medication post-surgery?

For post-op pain, I would talk to your OB ahead of time so that he/she can have the order already in your chart. I have heard good things about Toradol, which is a very strong NSAID (like Motrin but stronger). It can be given via IV.

Have you had other opiates besides morphine? There are many different kinds. Other common ones besides morphine are hydromorphone (Dilaudid) and oxycodone (like in Percodan and Percocet which you would not want of course).


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## CountryMom2e (Apr 1, 2005)

Curious - why not oxycodone? I was on percocet then vicodin after my IV was removed after birth, and they worked great for me.

Also I would consider for pain relief getting an epidural rather than a spinal for the surgery - I've been told that they can administer some add'l drugs at the end of your surgery to *top you off* on the epi and keep you comfortable longer without IV narcotics. Only thing is that it restricts movement, but since I will likely be on bedrest for 24 hrs after surgery, that's not a huge loss for me.

Also can you have demerol? i think that's what I had initially in my IV after my first birth.


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## egoldber (Nov 18, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CountryMom2e*
Curious - why not oxycodone? I was on percocet then vicodin after my IV was removed after birth, and they worked great for me.
....
Also can you have demerol? i think that's what I had initially in my IV after my first birth.

Nothing wrong with oxycodone in general. I meant (although I wasn't clear, sorry) that she wouldn't want Percocet, since Percocet is a combo of oxycodone with Tylenol and she's allergic to Tylenol.

The "standard" protocol around here for post-CS meds is Duramorph (morphine) in the epidural catheter after the CS and then oral Perocet and 600 mg ibuprofen after the first 12-24 hours. But this protocol won't work for the above PP. And at least here, the epidural is removed right after surgery, and as soon as the urine catheter is removed, they encourage you to be up and out of bed as quickly as possible.

I have read that Demerol is no longer in favor because it is excreted into breastmilk at a higher rate than morphine. Although having it in the IV vs via oral meds would reduce the transmission rate significantly.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Throkmorton*
The big thing that is stressing me out is post-surgery pain relief. I am allergic to tylenol and have weird issues with any opiate narcotics. So, no morphine because it makes me sick as a dog (which they give me anti-nauseants for, which make me sleepy.... etc) unless there isn't a lot of other options.
Does anyone have any suggestions on what to put on my birth plan regarding pain medication post-surgery?

Our hospital has been using something called Voltarin (not sure of the spelling), which I think is an anti-inflammatory. They also give oral doses of Tylenol or ibuprofen. I have to admit that I didn't take much other than the Voltarin. I can see if I can find more info on it, if you'd like.


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## AnditheBee (Oct 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *egoldber*
I have read that Demerol is no longer in favor because it is excreted into breastmilk at a higher rate than morphine. Although having it in the IV vs via oral meds would reduce the transmission rate significantly.

I had demerol with my first c/s as well, and it didn't seem to have a detrimental effect on my daughter, but then again, there may have been unseen effects. It did definitely work for the pain, though, and didn't make me sleepy the way the percocet did with #2.


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## CountryMom2e (Apr 1, 2005)

Doh! I forgot that percoset and vicodin are both oxycodone/tylenol blends. I was just worried that what worked for me after DS was now found to not be good for post-partum use.

Our hospital here has the same policy about epidurals & catheters... but because of my preeclampsia, I will likely be on mag sulfate before and after birth, which necessitates bedrest and a catheter for 24 hrs







Does the duramorph really help with pain control? This is a big concern for me as after my last section once I was taken off the IV my pain was not controlled with whatever they initially prescribed me, and I was hit with sharp searing pain.


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## Throkmorton (Jun 30, 2003)

Thanks guys. See? This is why I ask these things. I have a meeting with the anesthetist before surgery and will discuss pain relief with the doc before hand too, so it's good to know these things. Last time I was wholly unprepared, and the doctor was a moron, so i ended up getting T3s, which was not pleasant.


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## egoldber (Nov 18, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CountryMom2e*
Does the duramorph really help with pain control? This is a big concern for me as after my last section once I was taken off the IV my pain was not controlled with whatever they initially prescribed me, and I was hit with sharp searing pain.

Yes, its fabulous. But Duramorph is morphine and can have side effects, inclusing nausea and severe itching. I had severe itching when I had it after my first C-section, but the pain relief was fabulous. I am debating whether or not to get the Duramorph or ask for something else this time.

Voltaren, mentioned above, is also an NSAID.


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## Throkmorton (Jun 30, 2003)

I am also wondering about the duramorph. Like I said, i have weird issues with morphine, and it makes me sleepy, itchy and nauseous. Plus (and this is somehow the worst for me) I can't stand the smell of sweating out opiates. It just squicks me out, and from what i have tried before, it seems to be for all drugs in the opiate family. I blame my old (junkie) roommate.
Of course, i am wondering if all of that is worth it, just to get me over the hump to where I can take a couple Motrin and be good. Motrin works fabulously for me, actually better than a lot of the major narcotic painkillers.


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## coloradoalice (Oct 12, 2005)




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## colobus237 (Feb 2, 2004)

Toradol and Anaprox (naproxen/naprosyn/aleve) helped me a LOT after both surgeries...more so than the morphine pump which just made me feel stoned as well as in pain. But, they wore off before I could have more. Topped off/ alternated with Percocet, I had good pain control.


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## Throkmorton (Jun 30, 2003)

An update:

Apparently IV morphine makes me itchy and sick. For some reason, the morphine administered in my spinal didn't have the same effect. I used the morphine pump exactly once, and spent the next hour itchy and sick.

I ended up with Voltaren for the first 48 hours, and after that, just ibuprophen for the pain when needed (not often either) All in all, I felt much better this time, and recovery has been a lot easier.

And, of course, got my sweet little girl.


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## egoldber (Nov 18, 2002)

Congratulations!!!

Sorry the morphine pump made you feel icky.

But I'm confused, did you have morphine in the spinal AND in a pump? Or were you referring to a previous C-section with the morphine in the spinal?


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## Throkmorton (Jun 30, 2003)

I got long-acting morphine in the spinal, then I was offered IV morphine in a PCA pump.

Oh, one thing I have discovered (more for people reading this thread pre-c/s) is that those dead sexy full-panel maternity pants that i absolutely hated while pg are the best things ever now. I can look almost normal, hide my post-c belly when bf and they provide that little bit of support that my belly needs right now.


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## egoldber (Nov 18, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Throkmorton*
I got long-acting morphine in the spinal, then I was offered IV morphine in a PCA pump.

Interesting. With both my C-sections they had my IV out within hours of surgery, so I was only offered oral pain meds after the first few hours.


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## pumpkinsmama (Aug 20, 2005)

I thought the iv had to stay in for a loooonnnnggg time, just in case... (the needle thingie, not necessarily the drip)


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## egoldber (Nov 18, 2002)

I think its just differences in hospital policy. I have had the heplock out too within a few hours of surgery.


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## Throkmorton (Jun 30, 2003)

Nope, my IV was in for 24 hours, and I had a hep lock for another 24 for some reason.


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## Satori (Jan 30, 2003)

ok ladies, I have been planning a VBAC but after todays episode i'm pretty sure I will be having a c/s tomorrow so I need advice on the fastest way to recover. I had severe pre-e/hellp last time so I was in no condition to even get out of bed for several days but if I get sliced and diced again tomorrow I want to be on the fast road to recovery. See here if you want to hear my reasoning


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Satori*
...I need advice on the fastest way to recover...

My last recovery was my best (in most ways). The single biggest key to that? FRUIT! My dh brought me grapes, peaches, bananas and...something...oranges, maybe? at the hospital. I'd finished off all of it within about 2 days. Between the fibre, juice and extra calories, I felt much, much better than the previous two times when I'd been starved by the hospital. I also found it helpful to drink as much water as I could possibly get down....but that may have been because they parked me in a window under the sun in the middle of a heat wave, and I was sweating like the proverbial pig!


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## somanyjoys (Mar 14, 2006)

Hi mamas! I just discovered this thread today. My dd will be one next week, and I've found myself thinking a lot lately about the next one.







My c-section wasn't bad, and those first few months, I told people that I'd have a repeat c-section next time. Now, I can't imagine battling recovery with a toddler, having thrush again, or dealing with my babe choking on the fluid that didn't get pushed out of her. I'm still weighing my options both ways. I'll have to have my annual exam soon to refill bcp, so I think I'll talk to my ob about VBAC.

My story: uneventful pregnancy, water broke at 39 weeks, labor seemed fine, dh and I were both dozing (I had an epidural). DH got up and looked at the monitor and commented that the number seemed really low. I said it must be fine or else the nurses would be in...BOOM, there they were. They were great about trying all they could to keep baby's heartrate right, but as my labor progressed, her heart rate continued to drop despite rolling me on my side, giving me oxygen, giving me fluids. She wasn't dropping, either. My doc told me she'd do everything she could to avoid a c, and I said, do what you have to! Turn out, dd's cord was in a true knot. She was fine. Again, who knows if it was necessary. Many babies are born vaginally with no problems from a true knot. Others are stillborn. Regardless, I've an ideal candidate for a vbac. And even if I choose a repeat c-section, I want to go in to labor on my own.

I'm subscribing to this thread so I can keep up with you gals.


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## J-Max (Sep 25, 2003)

My key to a quick recovery is get up and walk ASAP! With my last c-sec, I was requesting to be up and walking as soon as I had full feeling back in my legs. The nurses were not sure, but I have a great OB, that said if I felt up to go for it. I was walking within 12 hours and out of the hospital at 50 hours post c-sec. (Contrast this to my first, 40+ hours of labor, then over 24 hours in bed and a 4 day hospital stay). They faster you are up and moving the faster your body starts getting back to normal.


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## Lovinmy2babies+1 (Mar 18, 2006)

Do you mind if I join in? I was planning a VBA2C, but lately, that goal seems to get farther, and farther away... I get depressed thinking about another c-section/


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## egoldber (Nov 18, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Satori*
i'm pretty sure I will be having a c/s tomorrow so I need advice on the fastest way to recover

If you are not allergic and don't have adverse reactions to morphine, ask for Duramorph. Its a bolus of morphine that they put in the epidural or spinal catheter and it provides great long-acting post-op pain relief. Pain meds given this way are also excreted into breastmilk at a much lower rate.

Ask them to remove all tubes (IVs, catheters, etc.) as soon as possible and get out of bed and walk as soon as you can. Walking is critical to your recovery. Try not to overdo it, but getting out of bed is the best thing you can do for yourself.

The night before, eat only soft foods, nothing really hard to digest. Soups, yogurt, etc. are all good. After surgery ask the OB if you can resume a normal diet ASAP. It will make you feel better. No matter what the hospital policy is on this, your OB can override it. And I agree with the suggestion of getting some high fiber snacks and bringing them in.

Bring your own comfy clothes and get out of the hospital gown. Being in that gown makes me feel like an invalid. Being in my own clothes makes me feel like me again.

Take your pain meds. If you get behind, it can take hours for the pain to get under control again. For at least the first 3-4 days, take the meds and then see if you can taper off. This will also help with getting out of bed. You won't want to walk if you feel horrible.

Bring your own pillows from home. I don't know what it is about hospital pillows but they just suck.

Bring toiletries and ask to shower as soon as you can to make yourself feel better. Don't forget to bring a hair dryer if you use one.

Hope all goes well tomorrow!


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## mamabeth (Jul 7, 2003)

one random thing...don't drink apple juice...it is fermented so it actually makes the gas situation worse. cranberry is great and you can have it right after surgery if you want it.

also, I just wanted to add that with both of my c/s I didn't walk until 24 hours later. But I was still out of the hospital within 48 hours. I had severe anemia both times and fainted when they tried to get me up earlier. But as soon as I did get up it was fine and I was getting around okay by the time I went home.

hope everything goes wonderfully and please let us know your birth story when you get back!


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## nfpmom (Jun 4, 2004)

Lisa,
I have had two CS as well... may I ask why you feel your VBA2C goal is moving further and further away? Trouble with careproviders? Second thoughts? How can we help you?

take care


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## pumpkinsmama (Aug 20, 2005)

Four times in the last week I've actually had to stop walking and stand still it hurt so bad. Always in the same spot it has been since I was sectioned and with the pregnancy it just keeps getting worse.

TBH I am becoming really terrified of the idea of contraction pain combining with scar pain.

But I read a great HBAC story with twins!! TWINS!!! in the birth stories forum... so still planning VBAC but if it keeps getting worse I'm gonna have to get a Tens/tems? unit for just scar pain.







:







:


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## FireWithin (Apr 29, 2004)

My son was breech, and we had a scheduled c-s. It was uneventful, and I was able to see the section as a birth and not just as a medical procedure. He was 10.3 at birth, with a large head really stuck up by my upper ribs. Intellectually I am very comfortable with our decision to have a section (even if I didn't really have a choice in the matter). I feel like I have been doing well recovering emotionally from such a turn of birthing events.

At 3 weeks pp, DH and I started having unplanned sex for the first time. I felt ready both physically and emotionally. Right before we started having intercourse, I thought oh we need to be careful this might hurt. I then realized of course that won't be an issue because I had a section. I had a few emotional pangs because of that (as if I was sad I was feeling left out of vaginal pain). A few moments after starting DTD, I became so uncontrollably sad and couldn't stop crying. We, of course, stopped immediately. I felt traumatized-not by the act, but by the emotions related to the section. It felt as if I was reliving a sexual trauma (although I am thankful to say I have never experienced a sexual assault - that is the closest way I can guess I was feeling.) It is very unlike me to not want to talk about an emotional issue, and deal with it head on (for me this is the best way I heal from emotional stuff), but this time I refused to talk about it beyond briefly explaining why I was crying. I rolled over, cuddled my newborn, while by DH spooned me.
I didn't anticipate feeling this way, and am not sure how to go about healing.


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## AnditheBee (Oct 3, 2003)

Hugs, mama. You know, I think one of the reasons they always say "Wait six weeks" is not necessarily because of healing from VB (since they usually tell c/s moms that, too), but an overall recovery process for the body, mind, and soul. Birth is a life-changer, no matter how it happens, and I think our minds and bodies are still healing and processing the experience too vividly at three weeks to handle the sensations and emotions of sex. Birth is just too intense to put your body through anything else even remotely intense for a while, you know? At least, that's my theory! I'd say wait a while before you try again--talk to DH so he understands, when and if you can--spend some time cuddling so that you can still enjoy physical intimacy with him--and I suspect that the ability to have sex without pain (of any kind) will naturally return in time.

As for healing from the c-sec--try writing/journaling about it. I often discover feelings I didn't even know I had, when I write about an experience. And if you have someone who will listen non-judgementally and provide support, talk talk talk. It always helps to find someone who's been through it, if possible.

If nothing else, we are here...write whatever you feel. We understand.


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## allycat (Apr 23, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *allycat*
Hey Everyone-

I have been reading many entries here and thought I would share my own.

I did have C-section after labouring for 6 hours (6pm contractions started by 2am I was pushing), got to 10cm, was in a lot of back and hip bone pain with sciatia down to my toes. The doctor did tell me that the baby was well positioned, and asked to break my water earlier but I told her no - and it broke slowly as I started to push.

I did push for 2 hours, and wondered why my DS was not coming out. The doc said his head was slightly rotated to the left and tried to manually turn him with her fingers. This was the beginning of another 3 hours of pushing (it is involuntary at a certain point), 3 epidurals that did not work, and an epidural block, and 2 local anesthetics. Finally went to a C-section after trying forceps (for another 1.5 hours) to get the baby out.

After being in so much pain for sooo long, and seeing the daylight once again after labouring all night I welcomed my C-section, and the meds to relieve my back/hip pain. DS was just not coming out as he was wedged in my pelvis. And at this point I did really want him out.

Having had pelvis pain from 4 months onward, I can understand why I was in so much pain during the delivery.

I thought I would be a bit disappointed in my experience as I really wanted to have a natural birth - which I did up until he was not coming out and I was sooo tired at the end. My body is just not designed to have large children - he was only 8 pounds, 5 ounces - 21.5 inches long (which I hear is normal?).

Maybe on the next child I will spontaneously go into labour before the end of 40 weeks so that this option will be available to me once again.

So, for those of you who had 'no other option' as the kid was just not coming out, I hope you do not continue to be too hard on yourselves. Your baby is here - beautiful, and healthy.









This is what I wrote around 3 weeks ago. Now I am having second thoughs about the C-section. Although the baby was not coming out now I feel that I am not bonding as well as I would have if I would have pushed my baby out.

Is this normal to feel this way? I am loving everything about my son, but at times I feel that there is something missing. Does it get better? I cry quite a bit lately about anything.

A.


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## channelofpeace (Jul 14, 2005)

Hugs, mama.

I had a repeat section with my son (due to low afi) after pinning my hopes on a vbac . I spent months second guessing and playing the "what if" game in my head. I cried a lot and mourned not being able to give him (and myself) the birth that i so desired to give him. I finally had to concede that i did the best i could with the knowledge and support system that i had at the time and although it might have been avoided, i couldn't change it now.

You sound like you did what you could and you should be proud of that. Give yourself time to mourn the loss of a vaginal birth-- if it is causing you pain, than it is a big deal. Don't let other people minimize it. Give it time, mama. Be gentle with yourself


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## alley cat (Mar 18, 2006)

I have had 2 c/s and have never felt bad about it at all. My first child was transverse up to 36 weeks and then went to a footling breech at 37 weeks, at 38 weeks I had a successful version [ I think that's the name this is 5 years ago now - where they turn the baby head down] So all was set for a natural birth . She went almost to 42 weeks when they induced me . The night before a midwife said to me that sometimes when the baby is breech and hasn't engaged [she never did] it means they don't fit and just be prepared for a c/s . Well 10 hours of labour later I hadn't progressed at all despite full on labour pains, 2 failed epidurals and gas [ that did nothing] I was told you have 2 options the first is a c/s and I said thanks very much I'll take that and didn't hear the 2nd choice I had had enough. As the epidurals hadn't worked I had to have a general which was not the best experience as you miss the big moment.
I then went on to have severe postnatal pyschosis in the months after my daughters birth and she was to be an only child. As I got better we decided to have another. The hospital wanted me to have the easiest birth possible to avoid a repeat of the PNP so I had the choice of what I wanted I choice the elective c/s which was just as well as at 36 weeks when I went in they didn't even ask my choice and said we have to book you in for a c/s [ which was fine with me -I was a little surprized they didn't ask me what I wanted though]. My son was born after a spinal block that worked [ no general this time] . I got to see him born which was wonderful and I had no post natal problems this time.
I have never ever felt inferior or disappointed I didn't have a natural birth I was so relieved to have a positive post natal period the 2nd time round that it was the right decision to me.
I know people who have so called natural births and 1 couldn't sit down except on a woopie cushion for 6 months and had no sex for 18 months and another had 1 3 degree tear and 2 2nd degree tears with her 3 children and "allows her hubby sex once a month" as it's a painful experience for her.








As another mother said to me " I got pregnant to have a child not to have a birth " In the end all that matters is that they are well and arrive safely, and it's nice to still be intact down there


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## Lovinmy2babies+1 (Mar 18, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nfpmom*
Lisa,
I have had two CS as well... may I ask why you feel your VBA2C goal is moving further and further away? Trouble with careproviders? Second thoughts? How can we help you?

take care

I feel as though it's moving further away because I can't find any care provider in my area to take me. My husband is dead set against homebirth, and honestly I'm not comfortable with it either.


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## Ben's Mommy (Aug 11, 2005)

for OhMeOhMy.


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## grumpyshoegirl (Mar 2, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *allycat*
This is what I wrote around 3 weeks ago. Now I am having second thoughs about the C-section. Although the baby was not coming out now I feel that I am not bonding as well as I would have if I would have pushed my baby out.

Is this normal to feel this way? I am loving everything about my son, but at times I feel that there is something missing. Does it get better? I cry quite a bit lately about anything.

In my experience, it is. I felt "good" about our decision to have a c-section immediately after the fact but starting at about 3 months I became really angry over the whole thing and two months later still am. I'm not having bonding issues but I'm really mad at myself and I hate that every time I look at my daughter I am reminded of the birth.


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## egoldber (Nov 18, 2002)

Here's the link for the June thread:

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=464669


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