# Blessingway Ideas



## buffybutt (Apr 8, 2005)

Hello fellow mamas,

I am holding a Mother blessing for a dear friend who is planning a homebirth after two c sections. I want this day to be inspireing and relaxing and motivating to her. What did you love about your blessingway. We are planning on doing the candles to have her guest take home and light when she goes into labor and I want to do a labor necklace, as well as we are doing a henna belly for her. She deserves lots of pampering! She also has a daughter who is in the second grade just turned 8 and I would like any ideas that will help include her in this,. She will be at the birth.

Thanks mamas,

Hugs Angie

P,s
Emily, I think what you wrote got lost for me in the old thread and I tried to find it and couldnt, maybe I didnt look hard enough, I will try again tonight


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## pamamidwife (May 7, 2003)

I like to refer to them as mother blessings simply because Blessingway is a spiritual tradition of the Navajo tribe and not a bunch of mostly white middle to upper middle class women stringing beads for a necklace.









Anyway, some things I like to do at Mother Blessings:

* Foot bath - sometimes we do this with a hair brushing, it just depends on what the mother likes. We have a big basin, fill it with hot water, some nice oils or flower petals or bath bombs. She can soak her feet while other things are going on and then we massage her feet after drying, slipping the freshly washed/massaged feet into comfy socks (Doing the daughter's feet, too, is good - or painting her toenails, etc)

* Belly painting - I use these watercolor crayons that you get from Michaels - dip into water and you can draw on skin! They're awesome

* Flower head wreath for mom (and older siblings, too)

* Candles - i like to have a plate or huge tray with sand or rice where people can place their lit candles - usually we go around the circle and do introductions thru our maternal lineage ("I am Pamela, mother of Bailey, daughter of Patsy, Granddaughter of Eleanor, Great-Granddaughter of Harriet, etc) as we light our candles. Then we blow out the candles at the end of the ceremony. The candles go with the mom and she can light them at the start of her labor and know that each candle represents the woman and the lineage that came before her - we are all women, we all come from women.

* Using yarn (I like Noro, and wool felts the longer you wear it), we all wrap the yarn a couple times around our wrist and tell what one thing we learned as mothers that we would like to impart on the expecting mama. Then, we when we are all tied together (all the knowledge together holds us in community), we cut the string and tie it to our wrists. We were these until mamababy are safely transitioned as two - and as a reminder to send blessings and love to them when we see it.

* Beads - a necklace, bracelet, anklet or hanging...with an offering of love, hope, blessing for the birth

* Gift from the heart - something made or found, nothing bought (song, poem, drawing, birds nest, rock, etc)

Anyway, these are just some ideas. I've been to mother blessings that are opened with smudging each other with sage, but it's all up to the guests adn what feels right. I've done Christian mama blessings, too. I suppose it's all about what the mother is about.









I think that when there are siblings at homebirths that are cesarean born, we have to honor the fact that this process is also very healing for them, too. It's not about being disappointed with how they were born, but a recognition of what was for that time...for the mother, for the baby. So focusing, too, on the older daughter is going to be sooooo nice.


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## buffybutt (Apr 8, 2005)

Pam,

Thank you for the link on the blessingway, I have never actually been to a Mother blessing or blessingway so this information is very nice. I also love what you said about the siblings and the footbath idea, so great!!!!!!

Thank you for shareing with me, I really want this to be special for her, she deserves to birth the way she wants/needs too and I just want to support her the best that I can.

Thanks again.
Angie


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## buffybutt (Apr 8, 2005)

Wow Pam, there are alot of negative things posted in that link to the thread you gave me. Im shocked and suprised that woman arnt more gentle to each other. I hope that I didnt offend anyone by calling it a blessingway. I am actually part Indian ( very little in my generation) but I come from a long line of Cherokee woman and would feel honored if my mom and grandma and greatgrandma and such were her to give me a proper cermony.







:

With that said, I am happy to be educated that it actually offends some woman when we call cermonies by the wrong name.

I again hope that I didnt offend anyone.

Thanks to everyone who gives there input.

Hugs
Angie


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## mamajessica (Sep 15, 2004)

Angie, those ideas from Pam are amazing! I have little to add, other than you are so kind to do this for your friend. It will be a love on the mama fest and will be perfect


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## emma_goldman (May 18, 2005)

I'm doing one, too, and I'm interested in knowing how to keep everyone moving through the different segments smoothly-without sounding clinical and without sounding bossy. Should I lay it out IN DETAIL to everyone at the beginning? or expect everyone to relax and go with the flow (including me!)?

How would a dance jam work after the yarn ritual? I'm interested in knowing what you all think!


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## buffybutt (Apr 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *emma_goldman* 
I'm doing one, too, and I'm interested in knowing how to keep everyone moving through the different segments smoothly-without sounding clinical and without sounding bossy. Should I lay it out IN DETAIL to everyone at the beginning? or expect everyone to relax and go with the flow (including me!)?

How would a dance jam work after the yarn ritual? I'm interested in knowing what you all think!


oooh dance jam, what exactlly do you mean by this? Sorry Im clueless







but I may want to do this too?


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## emma_goldman (May 18, 2005)

I was thinking of turning on some great music and getting the energy level up in her birthing space (her bedroom, which is really big) by doing a musical procession from the living room with finger bells and little drums and flutes, etc. and then dancing to the music in her room and then immediately collapsing on the floor once the energy level hits the peak (I guess this encapsulates the energy there, on the floor?)

Hey, I'll PM you my written program as soon as I finish it (by tonight, I hope!). I got most of it out of a book, Mother Rising and am adding in explanations and other blessings/chants.

I loved Pam's ideas, especially about the multi-colored yarn. I'm going to find some today!!!


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## buffybutt (Apr 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *emma_goldman* 
I was thinking of turning on some great music and getting the energy level up in her birthing space (her bedroom, which is really big) by doing a musical procession from the living room with finger bells and little drums and flutes, etc. and then dancing to the music in her room and then immediately collapsing on the floor once the energy level hits the peak (I guess this encapsulates the energy there, on the floor?)

Hey, I'll PM you my written program as soon as I finish it (by tonight, I hope!). I got most of it out of a book, Mother Rising and am adding in explanations and other blessings/chants.

I loved Pam's ideas, especially about the multi-colored yarn. I'm going to find some today!!!


That would be so wonderful, pm away, please please


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## mommaof3 (Dec 11, 2001)

I found my old post to you, here it is:

You can do Blessingways however you want, but I have few great books on Blessingway/Birth Blessing ceremonies and you are welcome to borrow them, I found them quite inspirational. Mother Rising is my favorite and there is also a video called Blessing the Way that i have here somewhere...I have given four Blessingways (and was given one of my own!) so far and each has been so different because the mamas are so different...if we get together to get you the books, I can show you the different invitations I have made, how to make a flower garland for the mama, and some pics too! I LOVE planning/attending blessingways!

I always do _some_ things the same...here's my basic plan:

1.) Lighting of Candles (Naming Ceremony) - "the first piece of this special ceremony for X is sort of an introduction, and it also honors the women that we each come from, our mother and grandmothers, and honors those of us who are mothers. After you name these women, you will then light the candle of the woman next to you, and place your candle in the bowl of rice." ex. "I am Emily, daughter of Janice, granddaughter of Lou Ela and Dorothy, and mother of Morgan, Seth, Sara, and Jacob..."

2.) Honoring the mama with beads and gifts and blessings..."now X's mother will brush her hair, like she has done a thousand times before, and X's midwives will give her a foot massage so she can feel pampered...while we take turns presenting our beads, and any blessings or readings we have brought for her today- here's a box to hold the beads..." The mama uses the beads to make a bracelet or necklace that she can hold or wear during her labor...

3.) Our final ritual is the bracelets from the red string..."we will each take the string and wrap it around our wrist twice and read the next passage, and then hand the ball of yarn to the woman next to you, and we will be connected together in a sacred circle...we will wear our bracelets to think of X in the coming days and will cut them off only after we hear that her baby has safely arrived".

Then there's dinner (usually buffet-style) and getting henna tattoos, and perhaps a dancing or drumming circle...

here's a cool link too
http://www.bellyblessings.com/

I could also loan you some "ambience" supplies; goddess statues, prayer flags, candles, and CDs (of birthing chants and women's healing songs, and sacred drumming)....and of course I could share with you some of my favorite poems/readings too.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

I'm going to move this to Birth and Beyond since it isn't regional-specific


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## Zunilab (Oct 1, 2006)

One of the things I really liked was a whole body massage, and the woman braded my hair, and put flowers in them. Also, most of the blessings I have attended, there is a birthing godess that is given to the mother, and is the center of the alter. My friend had pieces of fabric, and things to decorate them with. Each woman decorated them, put blessings on them for the baby etc... then when the baby was born, these were strung together, and remain hanging over the babies crib, or the family bed. I had another friend who had a quilt made for her by her Mother after all of the woman at her blessingway, or other woman who could not attend made their own little squars. Make it from the heart, and everything will be allright.

Peace, Sharon


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## hug-o-war (Jan 30, 2007)

Greetings!
I'm not sure if either of these ideas were mentioned, but in addition to some ideas that I am certain were (wreath for older sibling, henna, labor necklace, etc...) I want to add a couple of things I additionally loved at my blessingway in preparation for my second baby's arrival.
For whatever reason I had some anxiety and catastrophizing going on quite a bit during this last pregnancy. On my blessingway invites it said that guests could also bring a small token, perhaps a poem, or song, etc... I received quite a few poems and they were so nice to refer to whenever I would feel "off" in the weeks before my son's birth.
A meal train was also organized for me and WOW was that ever fabulous! Just recently stopped, but it was so comforting and wonderful to have=)
A blessingway is such a fantastic gift. I think there is nothing that boosts one's ego quite like it=) And I still have the image of my daughter with her henna belly sitting in my blessingway throne towards the end of the night, wearing her flower crown, while her friends pretended it was *her* blessingway and approached her with offerings!=) Really dear.
~Jennifer
Mama to dd Mila (4.5), ds Gael (9 weeks), wife to dh Tony


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## buffybutt (Apr 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hug-o-war* 
Greetings!
I'm not sure if either of these ideas were mentioned, but in addition to some ideas that I am certain were (wreath for older sibling, henna, labor necklace, etc...) I want to add a couple of things I additionally loved at my blessingway in preparation for my second baby's arrival.
For whatever reason I had some anxiety and catastrophizing going on quite a bit during this last pregnancy. On my blessingway invites it said that guests could also bring a small token, perhaps a poem, or song, etc... I received quite a few poems and they were so nice to refer to whenever I would feel "off" in the weeks before my son's birth.
A meal train was also organized for me and WOW was that ever fabulous! Just recently stopped, but it was so comforting and wonderful to have=)
A blessingway is such a fantastic gift. I think there is nothing that boosts one's ego quite like it=) And I still have the image of my daughter with her henna belly sitting in my blessingway throne towards the end of the night, wearing her flower crown, while her friends pretended it was *her* blessingway and approached her with offerings!=) Really dear.
~Jennifer
Mama to dd Mila (4.5), ds Gael (9 weeks), wife to dh Tony


Jennifer,
Thanks so much for your input, you were such a help to me at milagros with my ergo and I was so excited to hear of the birth of your son. I am going to milagros tomorrow for a birthday party, hopeing to see you if you are there.

Angie


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## kerikadi (Nov 22, 2001)

We do many of the things listed above.

Amongst my friends we let the Mama pick the colors of her celebration - it is her 'signature color' and we get string/yarn that color as well as the candles that are handed out and any other itemes.

I recently hosted one in my home and her color was orange - we used orange yarn, orange candles and had orange dinnerware. I had also decorated my home with orange flowers and we used an orange cloth to cover my coffee table where we were all centered. After the ceremony we gave the Mama the orange cloth and she used it for her birth alter.

We have a good friend that is a great artist and she also paints an abstract picture of the honored Mama in her colors on a simple canvas for her birth alter.

We encircle ourselves with the string/yarn and then make bracelets for our selves from it. Some of us like to braid it









We serve yummy/heathy food we know the Mama likes.

We each take time to write something for that Mama - tell her how much she means to us, how strong she is, how much we believe in her, what a wonderful Mama she is and how much we love her.

We all take turns massaging her hands and feet with her favorite scented lotion, cream or oil.

My celebration will be in my home planned 10 days before my 'due' date. I think this will be wonderful because I feel the energy will be in the space of my home and I feel will come to me during labor









Keri


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## DahliaRW (Apr 16, 2005)

At one I went to the mother to be wrote down her fears about childbirth and we burned them. It might be particularly helpful to a mom who already had 2 c/s.

The other ideas are great and pretty much covered any I had!


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## ~Heyokha~ (Nov 21, 2006)

I am having a 'birth blessing'. My grandmother is the elder member conducting the blessing. We are doing some of the activities listed by the PP's. We are also including *smudging* into the ceremony. I am so excited about this. My grandma has such faith and experience with home blessings (we are having a HB). The focus is on shielding the home and health of mother/baby. I have had different fears related to the HB and they seem to diminish just thinking of the upcoming birth blessing.


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## emma_goldman (May 18, 2005)

We just had ours! last night. It wasn't like I thought it would be, but it was great.

Our activities:
1.smudging of ourselves and house for circlespace and birthspace purification/cleansing
2.calling on the gifts of nature to be with us in our circlespace and birthspace and casting our circle
3. lighting a candle summoning Mother Earth on the birth altar
4. introducing ourselves as women in relation to our female ancestry/progeny
5. guided meditation (from the book MotherRising)
6. fear cleansing (with a smokeless flame-it was cool)!
7. pampering and adorning Mama with mehndi and silk strips in braided hair and beautiful footbath.
8. giving gifts from the heart
9. giving beads for her children to use as nursing necklace/birthing focus
10. raising energy by doing a drumming/fluting/percussive procession through the house and into Mama's bedroom
11. weaving a web
12. closing the circle
13. feasting
14. organize a food train
15. send invitees home with a candle to light during labor

My recommendations would be to try to set the tone ahead of time with the invitees. I had a hard time getting them to calm and focus (even the Mama!). I wish I had had a conversation with each of them specifically about this ahead of time, although I had made it clear in an email invite.

And to prepare only keywords and key statements to use for presenting the different segments and the purpose of each. And two of the 5 invitees brought gifts as if they were coming to a baby shower! And I had been specific about no bought gifts in the invitation.

But we did some helpful things for the mom- she really wanted to party! and to release fears and to be pampered. We did raise considerable spiritual energy and show our support to her.


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## ~Heyokha~ (Nov 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *emma_goldman* 
10. raising energy by doing a drumming/fluting/percussive procession through the house and into Mama's bedroom.

I like this one


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## Samjm (Mar 12, 2005)

I had my wonderful mother blessing yesterday.

Everyone brought food to share (potluck).
We lit candles and everybody gave a blessing / wish for my labor and delivery. They took candles home which will be lit when they hear that I am in labor.
Everyone got a piece of fabric (maybe 10 inches square), and decorated it as they felt inspired to. All the squares were then hung on a string to make a banner that I'll have in the room with me during labor and delivery.
Everyone bought 4 beads - 1 representing me, 1 for DH, 1 for DD and 1 for the new baby. These were strung on a cord, and it is my birthing necklace.
I was given the chance to talk about fears I had and anything I was concerned about. Getting it out in the open with supporting mammas around me was very therapeutic.
We wrapped a cord around everyone's wrist (weaving a web of motherhood) and will wear this until baby is safely here.
I was also given some wonderful gifts from everyone.

It was awesome!


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## buffybutt (Apr 8, 2005)

bumping for myself


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