# At what age do you leave your child home alone?



## dynamicdoula (Jun 11, 2004)

We have some youngish kids (IMO) left home alone in our neighborhood and every time I'm made aware of it (usually the kids tell my kids and my kids mention it to me, usually jealously lol), I try to connect with their moms and let them know I'm home, I'd be glad to keep an eye out or come if there's an emergency, etc.

One 8yo boy was left home for 4+ hours. He seemed comfortable with it so I know it wasn't the first time.

The next door 12yo boy is routinely home alone from 1-7ish on Thursdays or 3-7ish on other days during the week. He's been left home alone since probably about 10yo, maybe younger?

My boys are 6 and 10 next month, and I've never left either of them alone, not even for 10 minutes to run to the corner store.

Am I out of track here, being over protective?? Does it depend on the kid, or the situation, or a combination of factors?


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## Alkenny (May 4, 2004)

It really depends on the child, IMO. My daughter was 10 before I left her home (just running around town errands), but my DS was 8 or 9. He's always been more level-headed than she was though.

I've had my cell on me, they had the doors locked and didn't answer the door or phone for anyone.


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## GoodWillHunter (Mar 14, 2003)

Well... my oldest is almost 12 and I've started allowing him to remain home alone, but not for very long. He doesn't have a whole lot of common sense, yk?


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## HappyToBe (Jul 31, 2006)

I really don't know.







I'm not in that position yet as my kids are obviously too young.

BUT, as a teacher, I've had my principal tell me I'm obligated to report (or inform parents) that children are not allowed to be home alone under the age of 12.
Just fyi


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## Canadianmommax3 (Mar 6, 2006)

my boys have stayed home together, they are not to go outside answer the phone or the door. (about an 1 hour)
They usually spend their time eating something they shouldn't and playing on the computer.


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## Alkenny (May 4, 2004)

Maybe it depends on the state...in Ohio there is no law that states a child must be X age.


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## Houdini (Jul 14, 2004)

My crew are 12, 10, 9, and 6. I have never left them home alone.

I think it depends on so many factors that you really can't base it off anything but your own children and family.

My neighbors leave their 13 year old at home with his siblings who are 11, 9, 4, and 3 year old twins.

I would personally be out of mind with worry, but it works for them.


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## Individuation (Jul 24, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HappyToBe* 
I really don't know.







I'm not in that position yet as my kids are obviously too young.

BUT, as a teacher, I've had my principal tell me I'm obligated to report (or inform parents) that children are not allowed to be home alone under the age of 12.
Just fyi

Where do you live? I've never seen that as the law listed for any state.

I'd be livid if a schoolteacher told me such a thing, and if it did turn out to be true I'd be writing to legislators. That's some serious infantilization, IMO.


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

My state has no law stating an age, so as long as I believe they are ready, I will.

My oldest, I began leaving her alone for short periods (meaning less than 30 minutes) watching my second, at age 9.

My oldest is now 17, and I leave her alone watching all of the youngers when ever necessary. She has consistently shown over the last 8 years her ability.

My second I began leaving her alone at age 9 watching one or two youngers for short periods, and now, at age 12, I will leave her to babysit up to 2 hours, unless they are asleep and then for longer.

My third I will leave for short periods with my 4th and 5th (when I have to) for up to an hour.

I would trust my fourth (now 9.5) alone for up to 2 hours, but she is not ready to care for anyone.

My fifth (almost 7) I would not leave alone longer than 10 minutes (if I had to run daddy to the bus or something I might consider it).

However, with so many, I rarely have anyone left alone. I have had instances when I had an appointment and so I left my son (#3) watching the next two (#4 & #5), but only when absolutely necessary.

It is legal, and my children are mature enough for it, so I do. I have taught them from a very early age responsibility and how to watch out for their siblings.

I don't leave my children longer than 4 hours (and that is the upper limit). Usually it is about 2, for grocery shopping or errands that have to be done. But many times I just take everyone with me. I love having my children around.

I think the age they begin staying alone is different with each child.


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## jkpmomtoboys (Jun 1, 2004)

My kids are almost 7 and almost 4 so way too young (in my mind) to stay home alone, but I might consider having one of them stay home when he's 11 or 12. Watching another child? At least 12 or 13...


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## JustJamie (Apr 24, 2006)

My older brother and I started staying home alone when I was in 3rd grade. Maybe a little younger, but that's when I can really *remember* being left home alone. We were 8 and 9, maybe 9 and 10. To be fair, it was only from 4 pm to about 5:30 or 6 pm, and we had 4 separate neighbors available to us at all times.

As for my own daughter - I don't know...it will depend on her maturity, and the individual circumstances.


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## JBaxter (May 1, 2005)

In Maryland the law says...

Age 8 can be left alone for short periods of time ( translated less than an hour)
Age 12 can be left alone for longer periods but not over night ( translated you dont need daycare for after school, days off school or summers)
Age 13 can be left in charge of children under 8 yrs old.


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## Houdini (Jul 14, 2004)

My state doesn't specify an age for staying home alone.

Here is how it is stated under our law.

<insert state> statutes do not specify an age at which neglect begins when a child is left alone at home. See, however, the following <insert state> statutes: RC 2919.22 Child Endangering and Revised Code Chapter 2151, especially RC 2151.03, which defines child neglect.

You may want to look at the case annotations under these statutes for examples of when courts found it inappropriate for a child to be left alone. Remember that the court decisions are specific to the facts of that case, and courts may rule differently in different situtations.

So, it is basically based on maturity and parental approval.


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## 20605 (Oct 11, 2004)

Our dd just turned 9. We started leaving her at home for about 90 max during the day for grocery or errand shopping. But she has the phone, doesn't open doors and knows the neighbors. But its always at her asking rather than us just assuming.

Example: Tis Saturday afternoon, I need to grocery shop, she doesn't want to go. Okay, doors locked,phone by side. Or if one of us has to run out to pick up the other at the train station (total time about 20 mins).

I have been in a quandary about this also. I remember being a latch key kid but really am nervous about leaving dd so young.


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## katheek77 (Mar 13, 2007)

Child and situation.

I routinely stayed home alone when I was 8. I was also mature, and understood the rules, knew not to answer the phone unless it was the "signal" (a coded number of rings/hangup/ring again), could be counted on not to use the stove but still find food, etc. The first time I was left home overnight (parents at a wedding) was when I was 15 or 16, but my best friend (same age) stayed over with me, so I wasn't technically "alone"

Now, I'm not saying all eight year olds can be left alone. There are some 12 year olds I wouldn't trust to leave alone to walk to the mailbox, and some 9/10 year olds, I'd feel comfortably leaving alone for a few hours.

Heck, when I was 12, I was babysitting in the evenings.


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

I think it depends on a lot of factors.

How responsible is your child. What is your neighborhood like? Who in the neighborhood is home while you are gone......

I would actually feel better leaving a 10 yr old home til 7:00 p.m than a teenager. But, that is just me.

My brother and his family lived just a few houses away, so I would call my SIL , tell her I am running to the store, the school or wherever, and that I was leaving Jordyn home. That was when she was 10. But, we were very close with our other two neighbors too, so my dd had lots of people to help if she needed it.

I actually left her home alone to go to the school to pick up all of the kids when she was six. The school was within sight of my house, and she was too sick to walk to the school, and I hadn't made any back up plans. So, I decided to leave her.

I was left alone for entire days by age six. All summer too.

My neighbors leave her kids home the whole day when she goes to work. They are five and six years old. I would NEVER have done that. Especially with those two kids.


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## Marcee (Jan 23, 2007)

My children are 11,9,7,3, and nearly 2. I do not leave them home alone and dont see myself do so anytime soon. I have just now (today) let my 11 year old and my 9 year old walk home the 3 blocks from school with out me. It was their "reward" for the end of the school year.


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## snuggly mama (Mar 29, 2004)

I think it depends on the how comfortable the kids are, not so much the age. Dd is 12 and doesn't like to be home alone after dark or for more than an hour/hour and a half. Ds is 10, and he's fine with about 45min to an hour, as long as he knows I'm not too far off. Neither of them are ready to be home alone for any length of time, and I don't let them stay along together for more than a brief time because they really have trouble compromising, and ds can't stand being bossed around by his sister!

I hated being left home alone, even as a teen. Heck, I'm not real keen on it now! So I figure I'll just let them tell me when they are ready.


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## springbabes (Aug 23, 2003)

I've left my girls, ages 10 and 8, home alone together several times. Always during the day and only for an hour or two at a time. They like it and I can trust them to be mature. I take a cell phone and leave them one. They don't like coming with me when I run my errands so this works for us.

Now, if it's at night or I need to leave the 4 yo, I hire a sitter.


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## Alohamelly (Jul 1, 2005)

I will leave my 10yo if necessary for short amounts of time (2-3 hours max). She's responsible and trustworthy though. I think it depends on the kid more than anything.


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## Terabith (Mar 10, 2006)

I really think this is part of the over-safetying of society that we are so paranoid about it. (Not letting kids run around in the neighborhood, etc). Obviously much depends on the child and the situation, but I was left for short periods of time at 6 or 7 and for 3-4 hrs at 8 or 9. I was fine. I loved it. I was uber careful and cautious and responsible, though.







I started babysitting at 12. I really don't think there is automatically anything terrible about leaving youngish kids for short periods of time. But I'm a big believer in letting kids have space, as it were, to develop their own inner private worlds. And to feel confident in their abilties to care for themselves.


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## katheek77 (Mar 13, 2007)

As an aside, I nannied for a family with three kids 10, just turned 6, and just turned 5.

On a day I wasn't working, mom had to run about 7 minutes up the base to get DD 10 from chorus. DD 5 was napping, so....she left DS 6 at home and said if she woke up, just tell her mom would be home in a few minutes.

Very safe neighborhood, though (military), and had anything happened, they were friendly with all of the neighbors around.

When I was 8, I'd stay home with my 6 year old sister if she was sick (Mom was working her first out of home job since we'd been born).


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## a-sorta-fairytale (Mar 29, 2005)

depends on the child

I was left IN CHARGE of other kids by 10 years old. I took 4 kids ages 4-7 on long walks crossing busy streets to the park, museum and the YMCA.

I walked to school with my little brother starting at 10 years old. We had to cross quite a few streets.

By 14 i had a full time job that i walked to and from everyday during the summer.

It really depends on the kid

Here we let 14 year olds get jobs and drive cars. I would hope a 12 year old cold stay home alone.


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## cravenab00 (May 25, 2005)

i was left alone after school for 3 hours at age 9, summers by age 10. I routinely babysat at age 10.

My 9 year old I leave at times. for very short periods of time. Granted, I live in a very small town, where everyone just looks out for everyone.
at this time i wouldnt leave my 9 year old with any of my other kids alone. But thats just me. Just because they "plot" when they are together








Though i have sent the 9 year old DS with 2 year old DS in stroller to the store for a couple things. Its just 3 blocks though.

Totally depends on the child, and parental comfort though. in my opinion.

I remember one girl I went to high school with who at 17 had never been alone at home before. Her mom had anxiety disorder.


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## jeca (Sep 21, 2002)

I live in base housing and here it's 9 to leave your child alone for a few hours, can't remember exactly how many. My nine year old is not mature enough to be left alone for a few hours but I know some who are.


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## BusyMommy (Nov 20, 2001)

Just fyi, we had an article in today's paper about 2 kids left alone. One accidentally shot the other in the neck. And, sadly, the article referenced the other instances thus far this year involving children accidentally firing guns at siblings.


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## maliceinwonderland (Apr 17, 2005)

I think my dd (7) would be fine if I left her alone at home, but I don't plan on it any time soon. She always wants to join me whenever I have to go somewhere. I was left to watch my older brother (special needs) and three of my sister's kids when I was 11 and we were fine. But I think it depends on the child.


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## mom3b1? (Jun 3, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Terabith* 
I really think this is part of the over-safetying of society that we are so paranoid about it. (Not letting kids run around in the neighborhood, etc). Obviously much depends on the child and the situation, but I was left for short periods of time at 6 or 7 and for 3-4 hrs at 8 or 9. I was fine. I loved it. I was uber careful and cautious and responsible, though.







I started babysitting at 12. I really don't think there is automatically anything terrible about leaving youngish kids for short periods of time. But I'm a big believer in letting kids have space, as it were, to develop their own inner private worlds. And to feel confident in their abilties to care for themselves.


While some children may be able to be left alone earlier, the law where I am is that they may not be left alone until they are 11. If something were to happen and it were to be found out a child was left alone at a younger age parents can loose custody, even if it was only for a few minutes.

Personally, I probably won't leave mine alone until they are much older. My eldest has Asperger's Syndrome, and my youngest probably does as well. They don't handle emergencies well and are a bit immature. I'm not sure what the age will be that I'm comfortable leaving them, but it will probably be long after number one is 11. That's not to say that other kids that age shouldn't be alone, just mine. I'm in an ultra safe neighbohood, but even here things can happen. Even things that aren't necessarily a big deal would rattle my kids, like if a tree limb were to fall on the house during a sudden storm.

Kiley


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## becoming (Apr 11, 2003)

My kids are obviously way too young right now, but I'm thinking 13-14 sounds good, depending on their maturity level. I definitely wouldn't leave an 8-year-old home alone, no matter how mature he/she was.


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## 1xmom (Dec 30, 2003)

My 7 year old has asked me if she could stay home by herself b/c she feels she is responsible. Then one day she tells me if I leave her home by herself she would probably have a party. I told her if I left her home alone, no one would be able to come over, she then says "What if we have a 'study group'?"








I'd say I have a 7 year old just a little too smart for her britches.


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## momto l&a (Jul 31, 2002)

My oldest who is 7 I would feel fine leaving alone for 20-30 minutes. But I dont as I doubt its legal.

It really depends on the kid.

My parents knew I was trustworthy and left me alone for a day or two when I was 12. Granted my grandma was next door but I was left home to take care of the animals and HER. We lived way out in the country, no close neighbors.

I was also trusted enough to play alone on the river every afternoon in the summer starting when I was 5. I was given strict instruction as to where I could and couldn't play along the river. I never disobeyed.


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## treqi (Dec 31, 2006)

I think 8 is that age where it could go either way. I was alone with my little bro an hour everyday before my mom got home from work and we were 9 and 7 but not untill i was 11-12 was i left home alone while my parents were gone for hours.


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## mamaduck (Mar 6, 2002)

Here is a link with some info:
http://www.nccic.org/poptopics/homealone.html

Looks like Illinois and Maryland are the only states with clear cut laws.

We have just begun leaving our oldest alone for short periods of time (up to an hour.) He is 10.5 and very mature. It still makes me nervous, but he is in middle school now, has no aftercare available, and gets off the bus before I get home.... so. He has a cell phone.


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## mommy68 (Mar 13, 2006)

My oldest DS stayed home for very short bouts by age 9. We live in a small country town. I guess it would depend largely on where you live and who might be watching you leave your child alone and the child needs to be mature enough to not freak out if you leave him and he hears a noise or someone walks up to the door.

When I left my 9 y o I wouldn't be gone for more than 15-20 min at a time. He didn't do it much becuase he would much rather go with me everywhere.


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

we started leaving them home for short periods of time when madeline was nine.

now she is almost 11 and she can stay home by herself for about 45 minutes to an hour. I hate to do it though. her and my middle child can be home together for about 15-20 minutes. I also let them go to the neighborhood park alone for hours at a time.

My first thought was that they were too young but then we had 11 year old babysitters before. I was babysitting by the time I was 12 and staying home all day with my brother by the time i was about 7 or 8. he would have been 10 or 11 (I so don't recommend that).

Quote:

Here we let 14 year olds get jobs and drive cars. I would hope a 12 year old cold stay home alone.
same here. I hadn't thought of that but it would be silly at thirteen to say "well I guess you are responsible enough to stay home a few minutes by yourself", and then 12 months later "here are the car keys, go make some money"


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## purslaine (Feb 20, 2006)

I will leave my 11 yr old for up to 1.5 hours
I will leave him with his sisters ( aged 8 and 4) for up 15 minutes.

Doors locked, no answering phone or door, ect.


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## dancingmama (Dec 18, 2001)

OK, maybe I'm being dense here but, why can't they answer the phone? Is it because you think some predator is going to call your house and find out they are alone and come over???? Or is there another reason that I'm just not getting?


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

I don't let mine answer the phone unless it is me or dad (we have caller ID) mostly because they just generally aren't allowed to answer the phone. Also i would rather they not have to wory about messages and I don't want them telling someone "my parents aren't home right now. we had a creepy guy cal once who knew my children had been playing outside. with a few well worded accusations he also found out I was alone with a baby and had no car at home (long story) A couple seconds after I hung up I realized how much he knew about me - my phone number, my address, what my children looked like (he had walked by and saw them playing in the snow) and that was home alone. and all he had to do to get all the information out of me was put me on the defensive. I called the police and they came and hung out a while.

anyway. . . long story short . . . it isn't necessarily safe for them to answer the phone.


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dancingmama* 
OK, maybe I'm being dense here but, why can't they answer the phone? Is it because you think some predator is going to call your house and find out they are alone and come over???? Or is there another reason that I'm just not getting?

Up till recently, the rules for my children were, "No phone, No answering door, No computer, and No fighting".

The no phone was because we did not want someone to know the children were home alone and then use it against them the same as I teach them to say "He is indisposed right now" or "She is not available at the moment" and then to take a message rather than to say "Mom is in the shower" or "Dad is in the bathroom".









I can not protect my children from intrusive calls or predators if they call after we have left the children alone. So the best thing I can do is to not have them answer the phone. Besides, most of the time, if someone calls, I don't get the message that may be left with my children, so by them not answering, the person can call back later.

Also, when someone comes to the door, no matter who they are, my children were not allowed to open it (unless I was expecting someone in particular and I give specific instructions in that matter). My children can reach me at every moment, and when someone comes to the door (which they rarely do) my children are to stay out of sight and call me to let me know. If they know the person, I MAY tell them to find out what they want, but most of the time, the person just thinks no one is home. I think this is better.

I will not have some predator push his way into my home when I am not there. I have had CPS show up while I was gone at one time. My children did exactly as they have been taught and stayed out of sight and called me. This particular worker was trying to force me into accepting his "assistance" even after I told him we had no interest in his "assistance". Reasons like this is why I have not allowed phone calls or to open the door. Even if a police officer were to knock on the door, they are only allowed to talk to him through the door and call me.

Another reason for the "no phone calls" rule is because of the possibility that a friend will call and the older girls will start chatting and forget to watch the youngers.

I am a bit more lenient now about the phone calls, but that is because my oldest is now 17.


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