# 7 year old son refusing to wear jeans



## AwesomeJessica (Jul 19, 2015)

Hi, I'm lost when it comes to my 7 year old son Jordan and his refusal to wear jeans(or most other pants for that matter). He only wears sweatpants, I thought it was just a phase, but 4 years is a long phase...He is terrified of the buttons on most pants, he'll scream when he sees me coming with a pair of jeans trying to get him to put them on. When I ask him why he don't want to wear the jeans, he says "the button looks stupid". He isn't diagnosed with any disorder and from what I can tell, he's a regular 7 year old boy, except for this weird phobia. I looked around on eBay for pants that I think he might like and bought a super cute pair of Joe's Jeans(http://imgur.com/tj75DVU) and they have a snap instead of a button. He is not as intimidated by the button on these pants and I can actually get close to him to put them on him. I guess it's because the snap has a simple design(just round and black, very little detail). But as soon as I snap them he starts crying and tries to unsnap them? So I figured out that I can get him to wear pants with snaps, but now I got the problem of trying to get him to keep them on....my best friend thinks he doesn't like wearing snap pants because he is circumcized and the tough fabric is rubbing against his private area. Her son isn't circumcized and he always wears pants with snaps. I think that was silly for her to even say that, I really don't think that is the reason in my opinion. I would like to get him out of this habit of wearing sweatpants this summer before he goes back to school, but I'm running out of ideas. What kind of pants do your son's wear? Anybody in a similar situation as myself?

Thanks, Jessica


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## ian'smommaya (Jun 7, 2004)

Maybe jeans are uncomfortable? Does it matter what his friends wear or does it matter what he is comfortable in?


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## MeepyCat (Oct 11, 2006)

I would supply the kid with sweatpants and forget about jeans.

My 8 yo wore sweatpants to school all last year. It wasn't a problem.


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## Snydley (Feb 22, 2012)

I recommend going on ebay, searching for pants in his size that you think he might wear, making a "watch list" of them all, and then have him sit (maybe by himself?) and look through them to see if there are any he think he might wear. 

Why are you putting pants on him, he's 7, right? Let him choose and put on his own pants all by himself. If he can't find any pants he likes, keep looking or just let him wear sweatpants.


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## Daisy8s (Apr 8, 2015)

My boys never wear jeans. They both hate the fabric. (And, they say it's annoying to have to deal with buttons or snaps and zippers when they really have to go to the bathroom right NOW. I'll bet this is what your son's fear is about.)

I buy athletic type pants because they're slightly dressier than sweat pants. They usually have some kind of racing stripe down the outside of the leg in a contrasting color and they're made of some polyester blend. They have a stretchy waist with no fastener to deal with. They're easy to find in any clothing store and come in a huge range of colors. 

Huge benefit: I realize they stand up to wear way better than jeans do. No more holes in the knees! 

At first it seemed strange to me, too, that my boys didn't like jeans and every year at back-to-school time I'd make them try on a pair at the store but they so clearly hated the fabric, fit, and fasteners that I stopped. And quickly I began to wonder--why did I even care in the first place?


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## AwesomeJessica (Jul 19, 2015)

Snydley said:


> I recommend going on ebay, searching for pants in his size that you think he might wear, making a "watch list" of them all, and then have him sit (maybe by himself?) and look through them to see if there are any he think he might wear.
> 
> Why are you putting pants on him, he's 7, right? Let him choose and put on his own pants all by himself. If he can't find any pants he likes, keep looking or just let him wear sweatpants.


Great idea  He usually puts his own pants on if its sweatpants, but I got to put up a fight to get the snap jeans on him, I hates to do it to him, but he had a Doctor's appointment the other day and I didn't want him wearing sweatpants to that, I just feel like that's an occasion where he should be a little more dressy


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## AwesomeJessica (Jul 19, 2015)

Daisy8s said:


> My boys never wear jeans. They both hate the fabric. (And, they say it's annoying to have to deal with buttons or snaps and zippers when they really have to go to the bathroom right NOW. I'll bet this is what your son's fear is about.)
> 
> I buy athletic type pants because they're slightly dressier than sweat pants. They usually have some kind of racing stripe down the outside of the leg in a contrasting color and they're made of some polyester blend. They have a stretchy waist with no fastener to deal with. They're easy to find in any clothing store and come in a huge range of colors.
> 
> ...


I do feel relieved that I'm not the only mom going through this. In my area my son is the only one like this out of all his friends


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## MeepyCat (Oct 11, 2006)

The doctor doesn't give a darn what your son wears, though. My typical well-child visit involves whatever the kids wore to school. Sick visits are come as you are.

If your son doesn't care about fitting in with his friends, why should you?


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## EnviroBecca (Jun 5, 2002)

I don't think it has anything to do with being circumcised or not. Jeans are kind of rough on the inside; some kids don't mind that, but others do, including my son. Also, as Daisy8s said, having to undo a button can be a problem if you're in a hurry, and jeans often have a stiffer button/snap than dressy pants.

My son likes those shiny "athletic pants" with the stripes, or tailored sweatpants that don't have elastic at the ankles. We get most of his pants at Target.

He always has one pair of "dress-up pants" which are a solid neutral color and not a sloppy fit. He's had various styles, and the current ones actually are black jeans, but when he tried them on he felt they were comfortable enough. He's always more cooperative if he gets to try on the pants, than if I bring home something for him or try to get him to shop online.


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## ian'smommaya (Jun 7, 2004)

I couldn't get my kids to wear jeans at that age for all the whiskey in Scotland. Why would I bother? Why say no when you can say yes?


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## Daisy8s (Apr 8, 2015)

ian'smommaya said:


> I couldn't get my kids to wear jeans at that age for all the whiskey in Scotland. Why would I bother? Why say no when you can say yes?


Yes, but, who exactly was the whiskey for?? >

Totally agree--this is not an issue worth fighting. There are great alternatives to jeans that remove the whole snap/button issue.


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## Daisy8s (Apr 8, 2015)

AwesomeJessica said:


> he had a Doctor's appointment the other day and I didn't want him wearing sweatpants to that, I just feel like that's an occasion where he should be a little more dressy


Once a week, on Sunday, both my boys have to wear khakis that fasten with either a snap or a button. They hate it. Tough luck. My husband and I agree that it's one of those good manners/life skills to learn to dress appropriately for the environment even if those dress up clothes aren't the most comfortable. And, seriously, they only have to wear them for 3 hours max. Also, we're right there with them so if there's a bathroom emergency we can help them with the button closure.

I do agree that kids don't dictate all the rules, every time, everywhere and learning to cope with slightly less comfortable clothes once a week is a reasonable request.

But, I would not engage in a daily battle about clothes. It's just not worth it when there are alternatives to both jeans and sweat pants out there. And I absolutely would not send my son off to school with the fear that he may wet his pants if he can't get the closure undone in time (or the humiliation of having to ask the teacher for help).


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## ian'smommaya (Jun 7, 2004)

I figure I decide what to do with my body. I wear what makes me comfortable. Why shouldn't people who are a different age then I am decide that about themselves, too?


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## ian'smommaya (Jun 7, 2004)

Daisy8s said:


> Yes, but, who exactly was the whiskey for?? >
> 
> Totally agree--this is not an issue worth fighting. There are great alternatives to jeans that remove the whole snap/button issue.


MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! lol

http://www.mothering.com//www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/


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## rachelsmama (Jun 20, 2005)

I vote you skip the whole jeans debate and get the kid a kilt.


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## ian'smommaya (Jun 7, 2004)

Kilts are awesome.


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## katelove (Apr 28, 2009)

Do you sew? Dana Made It has a great pattern for elastic waisted pants with lots of variations. The flat-front version in a chino fabric would be dressier.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## AwesomeJessica (Jul 19, 2015)

rachelsmama said:


> I vote you skip the whole jeans debate and get the kid a kilt.


LOL, yes, maybe I should say screw pants altogether XD


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## AwesomeJessica (Jul 19, 2015)

Daisy8s said:


> Once a week, on Sunday, both my boys have to wear khakis that fasten with either a snap or a button. They hate it. Tough luck. My husband and I agree that it's one of those good manners/life skills to learn to dress appropriately for the environment even if those dress up clothes aren't the most comfortable. And, seriously, they only have to wear them for 3 hours max. Also, we're right there with them so if there's a bathroom emergency we can help them with the button closure.
> 
> I do agree that kids don't dictate all the rules, every time, everywhere and learning to cope with slightly less comfortable clothes once a week is a reasonable request.
> 
> But, I would not engage in a daily battle about clothes. It's just not worth it when there are alternatives to both jeans and sweat pants out there. And I absolutely would not send my son off to school with the fear that he may wet his pants if he can't get the closure undone in time (or the humiliation of having to ask the teacher for help).


Yes, I totally agree with you there, 3 hours a week isn't asking much.

I know that the fear of unable to unsnap his jeans when he is alone is not an issue. That's why I can get the snap jeans on him, he had trouble with regular buttons and hates the look of them, but with these snap jeans he keeps unsnapping them! Quite the opposite. I always got to be around him when he wears them or he'll have them unsnapped all the time and he's a slim kid so they fall down over his butt if I'm not snapping them back up.


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## AwesomeJessica (Jul 19, 2015)

Hmm, maybe my friend was right? She still thinks it has to do with his private area. My boyfriend never had a problem when he was little, but then again, he has more skin leftover than our son, when the doctor circumcized Jordan, she didn't leave much skin, so that could explain it. He does get fussy when he haves the occasional erection, so I'm thinking that he is afraid he might get an erection when he wears his snap jeans, poor little guy


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## DetroitMom (Apr 15, 2004)

I'm sorry but your friend is nuts. My son who is circumcized will only wear jeans (he is 12) unless your son is wearing his jeans commando there is not much rubbing. I had an friend who zipped himself ONCE into a pair of jeans doing that. My daughter, whom I am very sure is not circumcized, will NOT wear jeans for all the tea in China let alone whiskey in Scotland! She doesn't like how they fit, the stiffness of the material or the button/snaping, plus she doesn't like sitting at her desk at school with the button pushing in on her.

So what, not a fight worth having. Yes, when we are going to church or function that requires dressing up they both have to comply. Meaning my son has to wear "ouchy" dress shoes and the fashionesta gets to wear her dress clothes. I don't know of any school that requires jeans and have found boys are not anywhere near as worried about fashion as we are (yes, my son has worn a kilt many times :wink.


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## wjey (Jun 4, 2009)

Seriously, save your money and your energy. My son is circumcised and that has never seemed to be an issue when it comes to pants. He's gone back and forth between wearing sweatpants all of the time and wearing jeans all of the time. He wore only jeans for ages 6 and 7 and last year I forced him to try on and buy a few pairs of jeans/button/snap pants and he didn't wear them once, opting only for the exercise pants that we purchased. I think it has to do with what the other kids are wearing, too, at least the other kids that he is looking at (and not the ones that I see wearing what I think he should wear). And he's gotten into football lately, so what football players are wearing influences his clothing choices (after refusing sweaters for the past few years, he chose a sweater vest to wear with his church outfit). So I think there are really a wide variety of reasons why a child will just want a certain type of pants. They just may not be his style right now and they are arguably less comfortable than jeans. I'd rather wear yoga pants than jeans, if given the choice!


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## AwesomeJessica (Jul 19, 2015)

DetroitMom said:


> I'm sorry but your friend is nuts. My son who is circumcized will only wear jeans (he is 12) unless your son is wearing his jeans commando there is not much rubbing. I had an friend who zipped himself ONCE into a pair of jeans doing that. My daughter, whom I am very sure is not circumcized, will NOT wear jeans for all the tea in China let alone whiskey in Scotland! She doesn't like how they fit, the stiffness of the material or the button/snaping, plus she doesn't like sitting at her desk at school with the button pushing in on her.
> 
> So what, not a fight worth having. Yes, when we are going to church or function that requires dressing up they both have to comply. Meaning my son has to wear "ouchy" dress shoes and the fashionesta gets to wear her dress clothes. I don't know of any school that requires jeans and have found boys are not anywhere near as worried about fashion as we are (yes, my son has worn a kilt many times :wink.


Thanks for the feedback  yeah, I loves my best friend to pieces, but she always criticized me on circumcizing Jordan, she'll make up anything to get me paranoid. My son always wears cotton briefs, and I doubt he will ever transition to boxers if he stays like this. Your son never had a problem with wearing snap jeans before?


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## AwesomeJessica (Jul 19, 2015)

wjey said:


> Seriously, save your money and your energy. My son is circumcised and that has never seemed to be an issue when it comes to pants. He's gone back and forth between wearing sweatpants all of the time and wearing jeans all of the time. He wore only jeans for ages 6 and 7 and last year I forced him to try on and buy a few pairs of jeans/button/snap pants and he didn't wear them once, opting only for the exercise pants that we purchased. I think it has to do with what the other kids are wearing, too, at least the other kids that he is looking at (and not the ones that I see wearing what I think he should wear). And he's gotten into football lately, so what football players are wearing influences his clothing choices (after refusing sweaters for the past few years, he chose a sweater vest to wear with his church outfit). So I think there are really a wide variety of reasons why a child will just want a certain type of pants. They just may not be his style right now and they are arguably less comfortable than jeans. I'd rather wear yoga pants than jeans, if given the choice!


Appreciate the feedback  How old is your son now? So he never had a problem with wearing snap jeans? My son shows no signs of transitioning anytime soon, at least you were able to get your boy in cute clothes for a couple years lol. If he wanted to wear what other boys are wearing in his class, he would wear the snap jeans I bought for him, so he's not phased by peer pressure in the slightest. I'm just hoping he grows to be more open-minded when it comes to his wardrobe, he hates polo shirts too, but I'm more concerned about the pants at this moment since T-shirts never go out of style unlike sweatpants lol.


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## Dawn's mom (Jul 2, 2015)

I was in grade 6 or 7 when I finally liked jeans. Before then, NO. I thought they were ugly, accentuated all the inappropriate areas of your behind and my mom tried getting me to wear them to school when I was going to a school with a cruel and psychopathic, threatening teacher. (What kind of teacher threatens grade 1 students to cut off their hand with the paper cutter?) Or at least my mom tied it to that. But I just though they were ugly, inappropriate and stiff. I wore sweats for a loooong time. Many years. It was a friend who convinced me that boys think jeans are hot that got me considering jeans. Right now, I own 2 pairs. A long pair and jean shorts. I find them uncomfortable in a post pregnant body even after all these years. I wouldn't make a big deal about it. It just jeans. Sure they are common but not the only attire.


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## Nazsmum (Aug 5, 2006)

My 6yr only wore long sleeves!!! He would not wear short sleeves even in a heat wave. Till this year. I have not a clue why....Kids like what they like. Then out of the clear blue they like something else:wink:

Then he will get to his teens.>


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## Dawn's mom (Jul 2, 2015)

Nazsmum said:


> My 6yr only wore long sleeves!!! He would not wear short sleeves even in a heat wave. Till this year. I have not a clue why....Kids like what they like. Then out of the clear blue they like something else:wink:
> 
> Then he will get to his teens.>


yup. My kid would wear sweaters in mid summer, Refused to show shoulders and bare legs. Also, still hates rel jeans.


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## wjey (Jun 4, 2009)

AwesomeJessica said:


> Appreciate the feedback  How old is your son now? So he never had a problem with wearing snap jeans? My son shows no signs of transitioning anytime soon, at least you were able to get your boy in cute clothes for a couple years lol. If he wanted to wear what other boys are wearing in his class, he would wear the snap jeans I bought for him, so he's not phased by peer pressure in the slightest. I'm just hoping he grows to be more open-minded when it comes to his wardrobe, he hates polo shirts too, but I'm more concerned about the pants at this moment since T-shirts never go out of style unlike sweatpants lol.


He just turned 9. My kids started dressing themselves when they were 2 and that's when I started to realize that I had to give up control when it comes to their clothes. I certainly control what goes into their drawers and they do have to wear a church or party appropriate outfit when those moments arrive, but they have a very different sense of what they should be wearing than I do and it really just has to do with comfort and their own personal style. Is there a reason why it's important for you for your son to wear jeans? At this point, he may even be refusing BECAUSE it's such an issue for you and if you let it go for some months or years, he may come around on his own. Or maybe not. I can assure you that my parents would not pick most of the clothes that I've picked for myself throughout the years, but it's neither a moral nor a safety issue, so from my standpoint it's not something that I'd spend much time worrying about (an eye roll to yourself that he can't see or venting to friends about the weird hangups that kids have is another matter).


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## AwesomeJessica (Jul 19, 2015)

wjey said:


> He just turned 9. My kids started dressing themselves when they were 2 and that's when I started to realize that I had to give up control when it comes to their clothes. I certainly control what goes into their drawers and they do have to wear a church or party appropriate outfit when those moments arrive, but they have a very different sense of what they should be wearing than I do and it really just has to do with comfort and their own personal style. Is there a reason why it's important for you for your son to wear jeans? At this point, he may even be refusing BECAUSE it's such an issue for you and if you let it go for some months or years, he may come around on his own. Or maybe not. I can assure you that my parents would not pick most of the clothes that I've picked for myself throughout the years, but it's neither a moral nor a safety issue, so from my standpoint it's not something that I'd spend much time worrying about (an eye roll to yourself that he can't see or venting to friends about the weird hangups that kids have is another matter).


I bought 3 pairs of Joe's Jeans for him with the snap that he's not afraid of. I just wanted to get my moneys worth lol, they are super cute jeans. I'm just tired of getting sweat pants for him, I feel he needs to learn to wear his snap jeans since when he gets older most choices of pants will not be too his liking. He needs to work up to those kinds of pants, baby steps.


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## rachelsmama (Jun 20, 2005)

AwesomeJessica said:


> I bought 3 pairs of Joe's Jeans for him with the snap that he's not afraid of. I just wanted to get my moneys worth lol, they are super cute jeans. I'm just tired of getting sweat pants for him, I feel he needs to learn to wear his snap jeans since when he gets older most choices of pants will not be too his liking. He needs to work up to those kinds of pants, baby steps.


I don't think jeans fit the same way on kids that they do on adults, and adults are stronger and more dextrous, so the stiff fabric might be less of a hindrance later on. In addition to that, fashions change, so it's hard to predict exactly what will and won't be available later. I'm not convinced that having this clothing battle now will be necessary or worthwhile in the long run.


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## Neera (Jul 15, 2007)

I don't buy anything for dd any more without her approval because we've wasted stuff like that. Sometimes, it's something grandparents bought for her. I'd of course select the clothes until she could communicate what she does and doesn't like. (she's 8) The moment she started to waste stuff I started to either bring her to the store or hang on to the receipt if she didn't like whatever it was. I do pick up stuff in sales sometimes and don't always have her with me choosing every single garment. Right now she doesn't want to wear a pair of denim bermudas that grandparents bought for her. It is stiff, non-stretch and kids can find denim uncomfortable unless it's a relaxed fit, I guess.


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## wjey (Jun 4, 2009)

AwesomeJessica said:


> I bought 3 pairs of Joe's Jeans for him with the snap that he's not afraid of. I just wanted to get my moneys worth lol, they are super cute jeans. I'm just tired of getting sweat pants for him, I feel he needs to learn to wear his snap jeans since when he gets older most choices of pants will not be too his liking. He needs to work up to those kinds of pants, baby steps.


Understandable and I did used to feel that way too and still do sometimes. But really, big boys and teens and even some men during their leisure time make sweats and exercise pants their main fashion choice and they really are readily available in pretty much any store that I've looked. What looks cute to you just might be anathema to him. When he is ready, he'll wear them and if he's never ready he'll never wear them and if you force him, he'll grow up and tell everybody how his mom made him wear things he didn't like


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## Neera (Jul 15, 2007)

I have to add that in the last one year I have finally learned to let go. I couldn't either, especially with the hair (it's always untidy) but it's just not worth losing my health over. I'd rather lose the battle which I always do anyway. This summer it's been only flip flops, no sneakers, no strappy sandals. So be it. The flip flops slip and are not good for playing in a park but no amount of coaxing has helped. It's their way of establishing their independence as well and comfort is a big part of that. But the good news is that finally after about 2 years of bad hair, the hair is getting better.


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## nikkinimchuk (Feb 19, 2013)

http://m.kmart.com/basic-editions-boy-s-cargo-pants/p-049VA50766001P

Have you tried these? Looks a little dressier but no snap/button... 

Maybe the button pinches. I wish I could wear sweats all the time so I don't blame him. I put both my kids in elastic waist clothes all the time. I hate jeans.


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## Letitia (Aug 27, 2009)

My son most likes athletic pants. He prefers corduroys to denim jeans because they are softer. He's not afraid of the snap or button, but he gets frustrated with them sometimes and I think he might be afraid of not being able to get them closed when he's somewhere like school. Having trouble getting your pants back on right is a social liability after a certain point.

I would not worry about this. Unless he's got significant sensory issues, he'll eventually dress to present himself the way he wants others to see him, just like the PP who started wearing them when she was told boys think they are hot. 

And I think your friend is nuts about the circumcised part. How does she explain the vast majority of little boys who DO wear jeans? Lots of them are circumcised.


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## Peque Escudero (Jul 27, 2015)

*my daughter is the same*

she hates jeans usually just wears skirts, and dresses sometimes wears lycra pants. She also likes to wear funky things sometimes different shoes at once but I pick and choose my battles usually give autonomy to wear what she wants and also teach her that she may stand up for what she likes and wears. When people tell her that she is weird or do not like what she is wearing she is not offended and responds "well that is okay it is your opinion but I like it" Jeans are not a comfortable material so you should be glad he thinks comfort is better than fitting in you are doing an awesome job mom. :smile:


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## JudiAU (Jun 29, 2008)

AwesomeJessica said:


> Hi, I'm lost when it comes to my 7 year old son Jordan and his refusal to wear jeans(or most other pants for that matter). He only wears sweatpants, I thought it was just a phase, but 4 years is a long phase...He is terrified of the buttons on most pants, he'll scream when he sees me coming with a pair of jeans trying to get him to put them on. When I ask him why he don't want to wear the jeans, he says "the button looks stupid". He isn't diagnosed with any disorder and from what I can tell, he's a regular 7 year old boy, except for this weird phobia. I looked around on eBay for pants that I think he might like and bought a super cute pair of Joe's Jeans(
> 
> 
> http://imgur.com/tj75DVU
> ...


My son prefers elastic waist band pants because they are less scratchy and more comfortable. If your son doesn't like to wear jeans, why force the issue? Let him wear what is comfortable.


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