# Too old for a pacifier



## mom_to_my_rugrats (Aug 9, 2008)

Hi everyone. I was just wondering what all of you think how old is too old for a pacifier (barring no medical reasons or conditions). Lately I am seeing more and more 4,5 and even 6 year olds still with pacifiers and or bottles. Not to put another parent down or anything but I feel thats a bit too old in my opinion. Like I said, barring anything medically wrong with the child, I dont think I would allow my child at that age to have one. At night is one thing but during the day is another. I was just curious what everyones thoughts were and if I am the only one seeing kids these days that are like 6 years old still with them. Thank you and I am looking forward to hearing your thoughts on this. Have a wonderful day!


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## JavaJunkie (Jan 16, 2009)

I don't really think anything of it when I see an older child with a pacifier(and I have to say, I don't think I've ever seen anyone over the age of 3 with a bottle out in public, honestly!). You just never really know why a child has one...it's not up to me to say one way or another that he shouldn't.

When my oldest was a toddler, I was chatting with another mom while shopping. I didn't know her...we just were shopping in the same area and started talking. Her son had a pacifier(as did mine). He was about 5, IIRC. He had given up his pacifier, but then regressed when his father was diagnosed with a brain tumor. It was a long illness that ended in death. The boy also regressed back to diapers, too. He had been in his own bed, but went back to sleeping with mom.

Just looking at this family, a person would have no idea of the story surrounding why the child had a pacifier.

My DD5 still sucks her 2 fingers, just like she's done since birth. She just does it at home, but she still does it. No issues with her. She was also nursed the longest of any of my children, until she was about 4(she weaned when I was pregnant with my youngest).


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## JBaxter (May 1, 2005)

Ive seen alot of dental issues from long term pacifier use so yes I do cringe with I see a 4 or older child with one ( or a bottle). I do know several kids who have had them just at night till 3 or 4 ( ok also a 6yr old) but I guess the ones that catch my attention are the ones that keep them in all day Open bites from pacifiers are very common the bones in the upper and lower jaw actually conform to the pacifer.

Yes it does bug me to see older typically developed kids with a pacifer in their mouth


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## mom_to_my_rugrats (Aug 9, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JavaJunkie* 
I don't really think anything of it when I see an older child with a pacifier(and I have to say, I don't think I've ever seen anyone over the age of 3 with a bottle out in public, honestly!). You just never really know why a child has one...it's not up to me to say one way or another that he shouldn't.

When my oldest was a toddler, I was chatting with another mom while shopping. I didn't know her...we just were shopping in the same area and started talking. Her son had a pacifier(as did mine). He was about 5, IIRC. He had given up his pacifier, but then regressed when his father was diagnosed with a brain tumor. It was a long illness that ended in death. The boy also regressed back to diapers, too. He had been in his own bed, but went back to sleeping with mom.

Just looking at this family, a person would have no idea of the story surrounding why the child had a pacifier.

My DD5 still sucks her 2 fingers, just like she's done since birth. She just does it at home, but she still does it. No issues with her. She was also nursed the longest of any of my children, until she was about 4(she weaned when I was pregnant with my youngest).

You do make a good point. There are reasons why a child will regress back to a pacifier or diapers or whatever. Like you mentioned, depending on the circumstances but, I dont know if I would feel comfortable allowing my child to regress to a pacifier in public, especially around other kids his/her own age. Kids can say some hurtfull things and I couldnt subject my child to ridicule from other kids. I dont think I would ever go out of my way to say something to a parent I dont know asking why that older child STILL has one or in diapers or whatever. Its just seeing it if that makes sense. I know with my daughter who is 8, she still needs a diaper at night because she still has issues making it through the night dry but thats just at night and no one knows other then family and close friends. Like I said, adults will pretty much keep their comments to themselves while kids on the other hand will say whatever is on their mind not thinking what harm it might be doing. I will say that there was a time, like with you, I was talking to a mom at the store and her son was 6. He was talking to her with the pacifier in his mouth the whole time and she asked him right in front of me when he was going to give it up and I had to laugh when he told her he would when he turns 7 LOL She then looked at me and giggled and said thats what he said when he was 5. Thanks for your post and I am looking forward to hearing from others. Have a wonderful day!


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## mom_to_my_rugrats (Aug 9, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JBaxter* 
Ive seen alot of dental issues from long term pacifier use so yes I do cringe with I see a 4 or older child with one ( or a bottle). I do know several kids who have had them just at night till 3 or 4 ( ok also a 6yr old) but I guess the ones that catch my attention are the ones that keep them in all day Open bites from pacifiers are very common the bones in the upper and lower jaw actually conform to the pacifer.

Yes it does bug me to see older typically developed kids with a pacifer in their mouth

I am curious, with the 6 year old, was it a sippy cup or an actual bottle. Depending on the age, I personally think they are pretty much the same thing. As I mentioned in my previous post, yes I do cringe when I see that but I have never came out and said something to the parent. I feel thats definatly crossing the line in my opinion. I have stepped once when a mother had her son off the ground with her hand in her armpit spanking her (whipping her) and the child was screaming bloody murder. I told her she needed to stop before I call the police and she let the girl go (she pretty much fell to the ground) and she got in my face and told me I better walk away and mind my own f'n business! Thankfully there were other people around and a man stepped in between us and I called the police right then and there. When they got there, she was trying to fight the police getting in their faces as well telling them that she has the right to disclipine her child! Well she didnt win that battle and was taken away in cuffs. I felt SOO sorry for that child. I guess what I am trying to say is that I would never but into another parents business but I will if the child is in danger.


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## just_lily (Feb 29, 2008)

I have a 17mo who is a total soother kid - but I only allow her to have it at night (and naps) and on the occasional long car trip that I hope she is going to sleep during. I am hoping we can start to phase it out before she is two, but I need to get her to start sleeping through the night first. We are pretty much completely done with bottles and are starting on open cups.

I think the problem lies when parents rely on these things more than the kids do. Like it is easier to keep giving a kid a bottle or a sippy cup than it is to have them sit at the table with an open cup and deal with inevitable spillage.

I have a 3.5yo in my home daycare that will only drink milk out of a bottle. He will drink anything else from a cup, but *has* to have milk in a bottle. His mom drags that thing everywhere, and yes they do it in public. She tells me that they are getting rid of them January 1st, but she also said that about him turning three. (I don't bug her about it or anything - she brings it up on her own.)

I also have a 2.5yo who has bottles of milk at home, but will drink it out of a cup at my house.

And then I have a different 3.5yo who continually spills drinks all over him when I give him a cup, because his parents never give him chances to drink out of a cup at home - it is all about sippies. He is a developmentally normal kid, but is lacking this skill because they don't give him a chance.

Sometimes kids are ready to move on, but it is the parents that are afraid to push the issue and make it happen. When the two bottle kids started in my home they were used to being put to bed for their naps with bottles (I know - bad, bad, bad). I did it for a while because that is what they were used to but then a new provincial standard came out saying we weren't allowed to do it. So I slowly phased it out and after about a week they went to bed no problem, without bottles.

I didn't tell the parents until after I did this, because I knew they were going to freak out. And they did! I sent home a newsletter about odds and ends, and included the new "kids can't have food or drinks while going to bed" standard. The moms were so worried that there was no way their kid was going to bed without a bottle, and completely shocked when I said we already phased it out and everyone was fine. So I definitely think that a lot of the time it is more the parents than the kids.


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## lifeguard (May 12, 2008)

You know - it bothers me & I see it a LOT but I would NEVER say anything. But it is one of the reasons I didn't want ds to have a soother - I figured it was just easier to not start the habit in the first place.


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## mom_to_my_rugrats (Aug 9, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *just_lily* 
I have a 17mo who is a total soother kid - but I only allow her to have it at night (and naps) and on the occasional long car trip that I hope she is going to sleep during. I am hoping we can start to phase it out before she is two, but I need to get her to start sleeping through the night first. We are pretty much completely done with bottles and are starting on open cups.

I think the problem lies when parents rely on these things more than the kids do. Like it is easier to keep giving a kid a bottle or a sippy cup than it is to have them sit at the table with an open cup and deal with inevitable spillage.

I have a 3.5yo in my home daycare that will only drink milk out of a bottle. He will drink anything else from a cup, but *has* to have milk in a bottle. His mom drags that thing everywhere, and yes they do it in public. She tells me that they are getting rid of them January 1st, but she also said that about him turning three. (I don't bug her about it or anything - she brings it up on her own.)

I also have a 2.5yo who has bottles of milk at home, but will drink it out of a cup at my house.

And then I have a different 3.5yo who continually spills drinks all over him when I give him a cup, because his parents never give him chances to drink out of a cup at home - it is all about sippies. He is a developmentally normal kid, but is lacking this skill because they don't give him a chance.

Sometimes kids are ready to move on, but it is the parents that are afraid to push the issue and make it happen. When the two bottle kids started in my home they were used to being put to bed for their naps with bottles (I know - bad, bad, bad). I did it for a while because that is what they were used to but then a new provincial standard came out saying we weren't allowed to do it. So I slowly phased it out and after about a week they went to bed no problem, without bottles.

I didn't tell the parents until after I did this, because I knew they were going to freak out. And they did! I sent home a newsletter about odds and ends, and included the new "kids can't have food or drinks while going to bed" standard. The moms were so worried that there was no way their kid was going to bed without a bottle, and completely shocked when I said we already phased it out and everyone was fine. So I definitely think that a lot of the time it is more the parents than the kids.

I personally dont see a problem with a 2 year old still having a bottle. I can see a problem with the 3 year old your mentioned having one to bed and naps as that can start ruining their teeth with prolonged use. Thats strange that that child will only drink milk out of a bottle but everything else in a cup. I dont know what to think about that lol Your right when you said that there are parents that do it for thier own sanity, to make the child be quiet, they hand him/her a bottle or pacifier. I can see a sippy cup at dinner or outside the kitchen if there is issues with spillage. Hell, my daughter spills all the time and there are times I wish she used a sippy cup and she is 8! LOL I cant tell you how many koolaid stains I have had to get out of the carpet lol


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## Friday13th (Jun 13, 2006)

I don't necessarily have a problem with them since obviously some kids have a high suck need even as they get older and I certainly don't have a problem with an older child nursing. I have seen parents trying to shove a binky into the mouth of an older toddler who is upset at a store and that seems really inappropriate to me, clearly they are trying to use their words to express something and the parents are cramming something in their mouth to make them quiet. I also don't really understand older kids who just seem to always have a binky in their mouth even when they are happy and otherwise engaged but I only ever used it as a soothing/sleep tool in an under 1 year old.


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## bandgeek (Sep 12, 2006)

It bugs me when kids are talking around their pacifier (or thumb, or lovey they chew on, whatever) but that's the extent of my judgment. Parents should teach their child to take it out of their mouth so people can understand them talking. I was working at a fast food place one time and this little kid ordered with his thumb in his mouth and his grandpa yelled at me because I couldn't understand him.







"Don't you understand ENGLISH!!??" were his exact words. Not garbled toddler thumb-sucking english, no.









1) Some kids are big for their age. We're talking 2 year olds that look 5. Unless you know the child is 6, you can't say "I've seen 6 year olds with pacifiers".

2) You can't always SEE medical/developmental problems. Enough said.

It's really not your problem so why worry? Maybe they'll have dental problems, maybe they won't. Maybe their friends will make fun of them, maybe they won't. Maybe the parents are lazy, maybe they've tried *everything* and have given up, defeated.

I've never seen a child older than about 3 with one, personally, but I do know of older kids who have just used them at bedtime.


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## BellinghamCrunchie (Sep 7, 2005)

I really, really try hard not to judge other parents or other kids. Its hard, and I sometimes fail. I think we, as a society, put too much pressure on our children and ourselves and each other, and I don't want to contribute to that if I can at all help it. I know I feel badly when another person makes a judgement of what my child is doing when it really isn't hurting anyone, or makes a judgement of me, as a mom.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

I've never seen a child older than about 3 with a pacifier. If I saw a 6-year-old with one, I'd assume I didn't know all the circumstances involved, and mind my own business.


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## hollytheteacher (Mar 10, 2007)

I haven't read all the replies yet, but the three kids I know that had long term paci's have some major speech issues (all from different families). Now, I can't say for certain that the pac caused it, but it can change the way children speak if they constantly speak with it in their mouth because it changes the natural way the tongue moves and can cause a tongue thrust sound.

My main gripe about paci's is the germs that get all over them...blech! We chose not to do a paci with DS because he is always with me, but if there was some reason why we had to be seperated when he was an infant, I might have considered using one because infants really need to suck.


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## butterfly_mommy (Oct 22, 2007)

My 22 mon old is a soother user. Mostly at night in the car and at home but he likes it to help comfort him when he is tired and sick when we go out. I tell him I can not understand him when he talks with it in his mouth. I would like him to wean from it before he starts losing his baby teeth.

My nephew has aspergers and he uses his soother to help him self regulate his emotions and when he is tired at home. He is 6.5 years old and I thing it is affecting the shape of his jaw (he use to have his soother in 24/7 till he was about 4) It's hard because it really helps him feel centred and is one of the few things he is attached to.


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## mom_to_my_rugrats (Aug 9, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *butterfly_mommy* 
My 22 mon old is a soother user. Mostly at night in the car and at home but he likes it to help comfort him when he is tired and sick when we go out. I tell him I can not understand him when he talks with it in his mouth. I would like him to wean from it before he starts losing his baby teeth.

My nephew has aspergers and he uses his soother to help him self regulate his emotions and when he is tired at home. He is 6.5 years old and I thing it is affecting the shape of his jaw (he use to have his soother in 24/7 till he was about 4) It's hard because it really helps him feel centred and is one of the few things he is attached to.

Yes, especially with kids with Aspergers and Autism its very common to still have a pacifier when they are older. I do not know the reasoning behind it as I dont know any parent with a child with those disabilities. With your nephew, its not a habit at that point right? Its something he HAS to have in order to cope? I am guessing a child with Aspergers cant cope with stress like a normal child?


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## Down2Earth (Jan 23, 2008)

It sort of annoys to me to see a toddler with a pacifier in his mouth because I feel like the parents are just trying to shut him up. And a baby without a pacifier is just cuter! But with that being said, I never by look or deed let that child or parent know I don't like it. It's just not my place.

I know when my BIL and SIL were having marital problems and were separated, my niece whispered to me that her mom let her have a pacifier at night. She was 5 yo. And that was okay. She needed some extra security and I totally got that. And I would never have wanted her to think I thought less of her for that. It was a tough time and I was happy she had something to help her through it.


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## waiflywaif (Oct 17, 2005)

At night, whatever, but at age 3 or so I would start making rules like "the paci stays at home."


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## ann_of_loxley (Sep 21, 2007)

Personally - as its a comfort thing, I think it should be up to the child when they see fit to no longer have a 'pacifier'.

I sucked on my fingers until I was 8 - and was made to stop. So I remember it very well and I remember what it was like to have that comfort and then to no longer have that. It is not something you can ever get back.

This never caused any problems to my teeth or speech. The whole teeth thing doesn't have much standing in my opinion. The only teeth problems I have seen on dummy users are ones that use very cheap non-orthodontic dummies. I didn't mind splashing out a bit of money for a decent dummy for my child to suck on. They look better too - not that that should matter...but I never got buying the clearly cheap ones at the pound shop.

I gave my son a dummy as he was a sucky baby - he couldn't find his fingers lol! (and he didn't milk either!)... Mostly he used it for sleepy times, but when he was teething he wanted it more often. So, as it was a comfort thing for him, I felt it was up to him when to give it up. He did of course - shortly after turning two ...perhaps this also coincided with the fact he had all of his teeth then - but he got his teeth fast, not all children have them all at two. His choice, no coercion - 100% up to him.

After having a 10 and half pound son who was not fat but just really long at birth and kept up with his size (everyone thought he was 5 at 2! lol) - I know you really can't judge a childs age based on their size either. My friend has the opposite - her DS is a year old but still in 3-6 month clothing! hehe

Bottles...well...we can't all be perfect







lmao...But I wouldnt bat an eyelid at a 6 year old breastfeeding, so why should a bottle be any different? (I only cringe at juice and or coke, etc in a bottle...don't get me started lol)


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## fairejour (Apr 15, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamazee* 
I've never seen a child older than about 3 with a pacifier. If I saw a 6-year-old with one, I'd assume I didn't know all the circumstances involved, and mind my own business.

Thank you.

My daughter was 5 when she gave up her paci. She only had it at night, but she needed it.

She was a NICU baby that was in a drug induced coma for weeks. She tried to suck on the tube that was in her throat (her vent). She had a very strong suck need, and she was never able to nurse. We chose to take it away very gently, and child led. That means that it took until she was 5.

Why is it anyone's buisness?


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## pauletoy (Aug 26, 2007)

I don't believe in forcefully taking child's paci or bottle away. Why on earth would I take away something that is comforting to my child when they obviously still need it?


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

Well, would you be shocked at 5 year old nursing? Why then, the shock at a 5 year old using a bottle?

For the record, dd was breastfed until she turned 4. Much to the horror of most of the moms in the neighborhood. Dd is highly verbal so she told everyone when we stopped nursing. I weaned her at 4 because after 4 years of constant sleep interruption, I needed SLEEP.

Guess what? About 3 months later, she found some old bottles in the back of the cupboard. About once a week now, she'll ask for milk in a bottle. Who am I to argue?

I sucked my thumb into my teens. It was a sensory/comfort thing.

So, while I would choose not to let my 5 1/2 year old run around without a bottle, I'm going to give any parent who does a free pass. Who knows what else is going on in their lives that's made this a battle they don't want to fight.


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## GoBecGo (May 14, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *butterfly_mommy* 
My nephew has aspergers and he uses his soother to help him self regulate his emotions and when he is tired at home. He is 6.5 years old and I thing it is affecting the shape of his jaw (he use to have his soother in 24/7 till he was about 4) It's hard because it really helps him feel centred and is one of the few things he is attached to.

I'm also aspie, i am 29 and i suck my thumb to calm down/comfort/whatever. I have never had any dental or medical issues from it. I do have a callous on my thumb where my lower teeth rest. My parents tried a lot to get me to stop, but if i didn't suck i had to self-harm to regulate instead. To me it's harmless and i could not care less if people see me and my DD sucking our thumbs on the bus at the end of a tiring/stressful day and think we're weird/bad people.


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## vrclay (Jun 12, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LynnS6* 
Well, would you be shocked at 5 year old nursing? Why then, the shock at a 5 year old using a bottle?

Agreed.

My husband and I were having this very same discussion just last night, he was concerned about what relatives would say when they see our son with a bottle. Our 26 month old still drinks his milk out of a bottle at night before bed. The bottle was a nursing replacement since I got pregnant when he was 16 months old and still nursing. We weaned him at 19 months because I have a history of pregnancy complications. We are gently phasing him away from the bottle but I am not going to push it too hard. Sure won't be doing anything traumatic like cold turkey.


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## gbailey (Mar 10, 2009)

DD never used a pacifier. I don't like seeing parents stick it in a crying babies mouth just to get him or her to be quiet without addressing what's wrong with the baby. To each his or her own to do what they want with their child but I prefer to not have a 6 year old speak to me with a pacifier in his mouth. Take it out if you're asking for something or trying to have a conversation with someone.

I carry 19 month old DD in a baby carrier and people think she's "too big" and "too old" for it. We all have our different ways of parenting our children. What I think is odd is perfectly normal for someone else.


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## alfabetsoup (Jun 13, 2005)

Really, really not your business what other parents let their children use for comfort objects. Why would you care?


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## Alyantavid (Sep 10, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bandgeek* 
1) Some kids are big for their age. We're talking 2 year olds that look 5. Unless you know the child is 6, you can't say "I've seen 6 year olds with pacifiers".

2) You can't always SEE medical/developmental problems. Enough said.

It's really not your problem so why worry? Maybe they'll have dental problems, maybe they won't. Maybe their friends will make fun of them, maybe they won't. Maybe the parents are lazy, maybe they've tried *everything* and have given up, defeated.

I've never seen a child older than about 3 with one, personally, but I do know of older kids who have just used them at bedtime.

That exactly. I see bottles and pacifiers are comfort items. My 3.5 year old is fairly obsessed with his blankie and I'd never dream of taking that away. If he'd been attached to a bottle, I wouldn't take that away either. I know bottles/pacifiers and blankets are different things and blankets don't cause dental issues, but still. My oldest gave up his bottle at 18 months and never had a pacifier and has a mouthful of dental issues.


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

for my kids they were no longer allowed to use the paci during waking hours at about a year and no longer while sleeping around the age of two. sippy cups were banned at about three. they still have water bottles all the time but only water is allowed in them.

I think we do our children a disservice when allow comfort items to be come bad habits and crutches. it was hard work breaking my kids of the binky habit and teaching them new, healthier ways of falling asleep, and curing boredom but it was worth it. My dd needed a lot of orthadontic work but fortunately it was all simple streightening and making room. I can only imagine how bad it would have been if she had been allowed to suck on her pacifier 24/7 for another 2-4 years. and she would not have given it up on her own. She would have been one of those kids who pops it out to say what they need to say and then popped it back in. I won't lie. i do a little internal freak out every time the neighbor girl does this.


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## DCMama01 (Aug 28, 2009)

I'm planning to wean DD from the paci at 9 months and be completely over it by 12 months. Between 12 and 15 months is serious bottle weaning time.

I'm in the minority here, but 5 yo is way too old for my LO to still be nursing.


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## mamatoablessing (Oct 17, 2005)

You know, some of us are offended with the same type of question re: breastfeeding. "When will your kid give that?" "Isn't your kid too old for breastfeeding?" "Why does your kid need to do that?" For the older kids, generally speaking (of course there are exceptions), they nurse for comfort. I imagine that kids with pacifiers and bottles use them for the same reason. While I would find it odd to see a 5 or 6 or 7 yo with a paci in their mouth, I certainly wouldn't judge the parent for it. Just like so many of us, we do what we think it best for our kids; of course you're going to have the lazy parent, but for the most part I think that's the exception.

I think extended breastfeeding is the way to go. My best friend refused to give a paci because she didn't want to feed the need to suck (of course she became a human paci later on, LOL!). My neighbor gave her kid a paci until he was almost 4 because she didn't nurse and felt bad taking away that comfort. He obviously felt some attachment to it, you know?

Anyway, I liken this discussion to the compaints we hear about extended breastfeeding.


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## velochic (May 13, 2002)

I have seen many "studies" dispute this, but what I'm about to say is the truth. My niece, who is almost 30 now, took a pacifier for YEARS and learned to talk around it. She has permanent palate damage. Now, back then maybe the pacifiers were harder than they are today, but this really did happen. She still has a speech impediment that was blamed on her 6 year pacifier habit.

Other than these extreme cases, I don't really care much about what age they are still using them. None of my business. I just cannot stand when a kid is trying to talk to me and talks to me around it. Young kids are hard enough to understand. Other than that... not my business.

FTR - we didn't want dd to ever get into the habit. I didn't want her relying on it and I happened to have one breast that produced MUCH less (I was really a one-sided nurser) and she was able to comfort nurse the first few months without getting much milk from that side, so I had a natural pacifier.


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## muldey (May 8, 2002)

Ds has asperger's and used his paci until about 5 yo.He used a bottle until about 4yo.He used sippy cups until about a year ago,he's 8 now.He still sleeps with his blankies(3 old thomas the tank receiving blankets),as well as chews on them.he also chews on his shirt quite often.I've had to throw away 4 shirts in the past 2 weeks due to holes.I've tried chewy tubes but he likes the way the shirt feels.

Dd who has no developmental delays used her paci until 4,bottle until about 2.She still has the doll she bought when she gave up her paci(on her own).She does still sleep with the teddy bear she got when she was 2yo,she's 11 now.

Since I still at 32 yo sleep with a teddy bear,I will not take my dc's comfort objects away.I understand how it feels to need something like that.I'm glad the pacis are gone though.Keeping track of them and keeping them clean was a real hastle.I think I still have ds's little wooden paci clip somewhere.


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## AbbieB (Mar 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mom_to_my_rugrats* 
Thats strange that that child will only drink milk out of a bottle but everything else in a cup. I don't know what to think about that lol

It makes sense to me. Milk in a bottle might have the same associations for a bottle fed child as milk from the breast does for a child that nurses.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mom_to_my_rugrats* 
I am curious, with the 6 year old, was it a sippy cup or an actual bottle. Depending on the age, I personally think they are pretty much the same thing.

Really? My 6 year old loves using sippy cups. I think for her it has a lot to do with seeing her little brother use them and wanting to still be the little one sometimes.

I think it also is a sensory thing too. DD definitely has some mild sensory stuff going on.

For the record she uses a regular cup, of all shapes, sizes and materials, just fine.

I don't really get why anyone should care about what other families do when it comes to this stuff. Setting an arbitrary cut off age seems a little weird. What makes it OK when you are 2 years 11 months but not OK when you are 3 years 1 month?

I think we all need to step back and stop being so judgmental. Do we mothers really need another thing to bash each other about?


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## Down2Earth (Jan 23, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AbbieB* 
It makes sense to me. Milk in a bottle might have the same associations for a bottle fed child as milk from the breast does for a child that nurses.

Really? My 6 year old loves using sippy cups. I think for her it has a lot to do with seeing her little brother use them and wanting to still be the little one sometimes.

I think it also is a sensory thing too. DD definitely has some mild sensory stuff going on.

For the record she uses a regular cup, of all shapes, sizes and materials, just fine.

I don't really get why anyone should care about what other families do when it comes to this stuff. Setting an arbitrary cut off age seems a little weird. What makes it OK when you are 2 years 11 months but not OK when you are 3 years 1 month?
*
I think we all need to step back and stop being so judgmental. Do we mothers really need another thing to bash each other about?*

Weird. I thought everyone was being very non-judgmental and accepting of the pacis/bottles/sippy cups. Yeah, some have said they don't like them for their own kids but wouldn't say anything to anyone else's kids.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

I know tons of young kids who drink milk from a bottle and everything else from a cup. That's very common. I also knew a young girl in my own house who drank milk from the breast and everything else from a cup. The bottle gives comfort to bottle-fed kids just like the breast gives comfort to breast fed kids.


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## *Aimee* (Jan 8, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hollytheteacher* 
I haven't read all the replies yet, but the three kids I know that had long term paci's have some major speech issues (all from different families). Now, I can't say for certain that the pac caused it, but it can change the way children speak if they constantly speak with it in their mouth because it changes the natural way the tongue moves and can cause a tongue thrust sound.

*My main gripe about paci's is the germs that get all over them...blech! We chose not to do a paci with DS because he is always with me, but if there was some reason why we had to be seperated when he was an infant, I might have considered using one because infants really need to suck.*

I've never left either of my boys, except for small things like dr's appointments. One of them took a pacifier and the other didn't. I really think it depends on the individual child's needs.

DS1 kept his pacifier until he was 2.5. But he didn't get it out of the house after he turned 2. Then he started biting holes in them when he was teething. It had no become a big old choking hazard so I told him "we have to be done because you're biting holes in them and it's unsafe" and he was totally cool with it.

Both my boys were ff (I have IGT) and though I held them when they had their bottles they're still really into them. I just took DS1's a few months ago He was a little over three. DS2 still has a bottle at night for bed, with formula. He's 20 months. It comforts him and he is no where NEAR ready to take it. Plus, I know when I had him, DS1 would still all his bottles when he was done, so until he's old enough to talk with me about it I think it would do no good to traumatize us all!


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## LaLaLaLa (Oct 29, 2007)

Interesting--one of my mom friends and I have had this same discussion. Her DS is almost 3 and uses a pacifier. He really has a NEED for it, asks for it incessantly when he doesn't have it, and is much calmer with it. Believe me, my friend has tried every method possible to phase it out.

My DS is almost 4 and never took a pacifier, although I tried to offer one. Instead, he sucks his thumb. Almost all of the time he sucks his thumb; nothing is as comforting to him as cuddling up next to me and popping his thumb in his mouth. I'm not trying to phase it out at all. He'll be done sucking his thumb when he decides to be done, without my starting a big fight about it.

My friend insists that pacifier-sucking and thumb-sucking are totally different, and she would be fine with her DS sucking his thumb. I think that's kind of weird. Do most people who have a problem with pacifier have the same problem with thumb-sucking? Or is thumb-sucking more socially acceptable? Just curious; not trying to cause a whole new fight.

If my kids did do the pacifier thing, I'd like to think I'd let them work it out as long as they needed, although I'd like to think I'd teach basic courtesy. DS knows to take his thumb out of his mouth in order to communicate with others.

Oh, and DD went for a long time taking milk only out of a bottle, while drinking water just fine out of a cup. Drove me crazy, as I HATED her leaky bottles.


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## JBaxter (May 1, 2005)

To the posters that asked about being shocked to see a 5yr old nurse.. Nope. I dont even have an issue if a child ESPECIALLY a non typically developing child ( like children with aspergers) use a pacifer as a soother. I have seen children I now are 3 or 4 sitting in carts in the super market / walmart talking to people holding a pacifer between their teeth. Yup that bugs me a bit. I have seen even the ortho pacifiers cause open bites. Im not talking about those little ones who need some sucking to go to sleep the ones bug me are the 24/7 children. Bottles/sippies are different because the kid puts them down when they are finished pacifers are just there. My boys were both bf'd and bottle fed ( I AM one of those moms with cronic low supply) all 3 of my older boys had their bottle till 17ish months.


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamatoablessing* 
I think extended breastfeeding is the way to go.

Definitely! I knew I would never be willing to take away whatever objects my children used for their comfort-sucking -- so I've just given them free access to my breasts and they've never needed to suck on pacifiers or bottles or anything.

But, and this will probably come as a great shock -- there are actually some in our society who get offended at seeing older kids breastfeeding!

And also some mothers just haven't been constitutionally able to whip-it-out in each and every situtation that their children have wanted to comfort-nurse. Also, some mothers have to work outside the home, or they have to do lots of driving everyday and end up relying on pacis to soothe their babies ... at least, those mamas whose boobs aren't long enough to be flung over their shoulders to Junior in his carseat!

So ... realizing that some mamas have more complicated lives to juggle than I do -- I understand that some children need other comfort items besides the breast.

Oh, and why would anyone have a problem with sippy-cups for older kids? Sometimes they get really thirsty whilst into their computer games -- and have you ever tried cleaning pop off your child's keyboard? It's a real pain.


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamatoablessing* 
Anyway, I liken this discussion to the compaints we hear about extended breastfeeding.

Yes, I do, too.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Biologically speaking, the sucking reflex can last through age 7 in a normally developing child.

So with an orthodontically-safe pacifier or bottle or sippy, that'd be about when I'd expect all children to have naturally moved away from it--just as with the breast.

More generally, I'd expect the majority to have reduced their usage of any of those items by age 3, and most to only use them rarely by age 5--just as with the breast.


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## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

I wouldn't be judgmental about an older child drinking out of a bottle or using a pacifier considering my 8 yo still sucks her thumb to go to sleep. LOTS of people say rude things about that, and love to offer their tricks to stop it. I figure she'll give it up when she's ready - so same goes for other children and their pacifiers.


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## moondiapers (Apr 14, 2002)

It only bugs me when I'm expected to have a conversation with the child, lol. I can't understand kids talking with their mouth full.


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## LoMaH (May 21, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BellinghamCrunchie* 
I really, really try hard not to judge other parents or other kids. Its hard, and I sometimes fail. I think we, as a society, put too much pressure on our children and ourselves and each other, and I don't want to contribute to that if I can at all help it. I know I feel badly when another person makes a judgement of what my child is doing when it really isn't hurting anyone, or makes a judgement of me, as a mom.

I totally agree.


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## KaylaBeanie (Jan 27, 2009)

I view it exactly the same as extended nursing. Once the child reaches toddler age, there generally need to be rules/guidelines about when and where. Due to lack of information, neither my sister nor I were bf. I took a bottle until 2.5, and my sister took a paci until 3.5. It's pretty well accepted around here that the ideal is for a child to wean from nursing in their own time. For babies who, for whatever reason, were not lucky enough to have been able to be nursed, they deserve to be able to wean from their source of comfort on their own time. If I were for some reason unable to nurse my babies, I'd definitely let them wean on their own time. Just like with the breast, they're not going to pack bottles and pacis for college


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## LoMaH (May 21, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DCMama01* 
I'm planning to wean DD from the paci at 9 months and be completely over it by 12 months. Between 12 and 15 months is serious bottle weaning time.

I'm in the minority here, but 5 yo is way too old for my LO to still be nursing.

What if most people disagreed with your weaning your dc at 9 mos.?
Shouldn't this decision be left up to you?


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## fairejour (Apr 15, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LoMaH* 
What if most people disagreed with your weaning your dc at 9 mos.?
Shouldn't this decision be left up to you?

Right. I would say that the vast majority of people here would view that as unhealthy, but that is the parent's choice.


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## bnhmama (Nov 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *fairejour* 
Thank you.

My daughter was 5 when she gave up her paci. She only had it at night, but she needed it.

She was a NICU baby that was in a drug induced coma for weeks. She tried to suck on the tube that was in her throat (her vent). She had a very strong suck need, and she was never able to nurse. We chose to take it away very gently, and child led. That means that it took until she was 5.

Why is it anyone's buisness?

I agree.

My ds just needed it. He had a very, very intense need to suck. It was a huge comfort to him. He nursed until he was 3.5 and was close to 5 when he gave his binky up. Not too long ago, we unearthed one that had accidentally gotten put into a box back when he had them. It's been two years but he picked up, looked at it and said "Mama, I loved this! It made me feel happy!"

Bottom line, I'm just not sure why it would be anyone's business to judge.


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## alfabetsoup (Jun 13, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KaylaBeanie* 
For babies who, for whatever reason, were not lucky enough to have been able to be nursed, they deserve to be able to wean from their source of comfort on their own time. If I were for some reason unable to nurse my babies, I'd definitely let them wean on their own time. Just like with the breast, they're not going to pack bottles and pacis for college









Some babies who are nursed ALSO use pacis. FYI.


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## AbbieB (Mar 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KaylaBeanie* 
I view it exactly the same as extended nursing. Once the child reaches toddler age, there generally need to be rules/guidelines about when and where.

But who decides what the rules/guidelines are? Is it the parent and child or is it the folks tisk-tisking over the child being "to old"?

Are you saying that if a parent has not set limits on nursing or using a pacifier for a toddler that they are wrong?


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## Marylizah (Jun 17, 2005)

Oh, man, NONE OF MY BUSINESS! I wouldn't blink an eye at being told a 4 or even 5 year old was still nursing, and I really don't see the difference between that and a paci at that point.

I do agree that it's easier to understand the kids who use pacis when they take them out to speak. But other than that, really, not my business, not my problem.


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## choosewisdom (Apr 29, 2009)

My daughter had her pacifier until she was 2.5. She had been so used to working so much at the breast that when I became ill, when she was 6 weeks, and she had to go to FF she needed the pacifier after her bottle to satiate her. Do I wish that it had been different? Sure, I would have much rather her have the breast, but that wasn't an option. Did it make me feel like crap EVERY SINGLE TIME someone judged me for my daughter having a pacifier? Yep...


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## gbailey (Mar 10, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Drummer's Wife* 
I wouldn't be judgmental about an older child drinking out of a bottle or using a pacifier considering my 8 yo still sucks her thumb to go to sleep. *LOTS of people say rude things about that*, and love to offer their tricks to stop it. I figure she'll give it up when she's ready - so same goes for other children and their pacifiers.

I can't believe people are rude enough to say something to you about it. I think we *all* judge what others parents do even if we're doing it silently. My girlfriend lets her daughter eat and drink all kinds of stuff I consider to be crap and while I say to myself and my husband, "how can she give her that junk" I would never say anything to her. Not my business to but I still feel the way I feel. I think it's okay to find what other parents do odd or weird but I don't think it's okay to verbalize it to the parent.


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## ollyoxenfree (Jun 11, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lifeguard* 
You know - it bothers me & I see it a LOT but I would NEVER say anything. But it is one of the reasons I didn't want ds to have a soother - I figured it was just easier to not start the habit in the first place.

That's funny - I opted to use a pacifier because I had never seen a kindergarten child with one, but I had seen lots of kindie kids (and older) sucking their thumbs.

I figured sucking was natural but could be a hard habit to break. It would be easier to break a pacifier habit than a thumb-sucking habit. Thumb-sucking is just too convenient, and the thumb is always available. I've never been sorry that we used a pacifier.

OP - Ds gave up the pacifier fairly early as a toddler. DD used pacifier until she was about 3 y.o. She would drink from a bottle about once or twice a day at that age too, although most of the time she used a cup. She gave it up without too much distress.


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## lindberg99 (Apr 23, 2003)

My DD's dentist said it's best to give up a pacifier by age 3. So that's what I aimed for and DD did give it up just a bit before she turned 3.


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## Oliver'sMom (Jul 17, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KaylaBeanie* 
I view it exactly the same as extended nursing. Once the child reaches toddler age, there generally need to be rules/guidelines about when and where. Due to lack of information, neither my sister nor I were bf. I took a bottle until 2.5, and my sister took a paci until 3.5. It's pretty well accepted around here that the ideal is for a child to wean from nursing in their own time. For babies who, for whatever reason, were not lucky enough to have been able to be nursed, they deserve to be able to wean from their source of comfort on their own time. If I were for some reason unable to nurse my babies, I'd definitely let them wean on their own time. Just like with the breast, they're not going to pack bottles and pacis for college









I agree 100% and this is how I view it as well. I was only able to nurse my son for about 6 months because of a whole line of issues. I treated the bottle as a breast...he was only fed while being held, etc. He had a very strong comfort sucking need, and still does, so I gave him a paci. He self weaned from the bottle about 6 months ago, and still uses the paci at night and for naps. I started putting rules in place for paci use when he turned 2, because I figured I would have done the same for nursing if we would have been able to do that.

I really don't even think twice about seeing older kids using a paci or bottle in public. I hear people talk about how paci's cause mouth and teeth problems, but I've never seen any hard facts on the issue. I would think as long as they stop using the paci before their adult teeth come in, it wouldn't pose a problem.


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

I thought I would never allow my child to have a pacifier past 12 months. But, she had it at three and a half.

SHE paid a heavy price for it though, and I feel bad for that now. When she was in sixth grade, she had to have a lot of work done to fix her mouth. The orthodontist even asked if she had a pacifier longer than six months. "Umm.. yes.. three years longer"

She had to have braces. A spreader. (metal thing going across the roof of her mouth that we cranked every few days til the roof of her mouth spread out enough to move her teeth) and these pistons things that went on the sides of her jaw and moved her bottom jaw out farther so her top teeth met with her bottom teeth.

It was painful, long, embarassing, she couldn't eat.. she couldn't play the clarinet in band. It was just a big huge mess.


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Oliver'sMom* 
. I would think as long as they stop using the paci before their adult teeth come in, it wouldn't pose a problem.


If you look at an avid pacifier user, his or her front teeth will be shorter than the side teeth.

My daughter had her pacifier in her mouth WAY too much, for WAY too long.


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## loraxc (Aug 14, 2003)

I have read many times that pacis are not an issue till the child is getting permanent teeth in. If someone knows differently, I'd be interested in the info.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BellinghamCrunchie View Post
I really, really try hard not to judge other parents or other kids. Its hard, and I sometimes fail. I think we, as a society, put too much pressure on our children and ourselves and each other, and I don't want to contribute to that if I can at all help it. I know I feel badly when another person makes a judgement of what my child is doing when it really isn't hurting anyone, or makes a judgement of me, as a mom.
Yes. This.

I have two children who weaned too early due to tongue tie and palate issues. My first had a paci at night and nap till 4. My second is almost two and has a paci at night, nap, and when inconsolable. I don't even care what people think, actually.


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## mama2toomany (Oct 17, 2005)

My daughter just turned 5 last week and she still has a binky (pacifier). I am in no rush for her to ditch it. Her teeth are perfect, and she needs it.

I do give a nasty comment to people that tell her she shouldn't have it or say something negative about it. The way I see it, if you don't like it, tough, don't look at it.

No one would know from looking at her that she is special needs, but she is. I think people should worry more about themselves and their kids, then mine, who is doing fine.


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## Llyra (Jan 16, 2005)

Good grief. I have better things to do than worry about whose kid is using a pacifier or a sippy cup and whose isn't. What difference can it possibly make to anybody other than the child and the child's family? Seriously. A lot of things bug me. Guys with hairy chests who wear those little stringy tank tops bug me. Bicycle shorts bug me. People who chew gum while they're talking to me bug me. But a little innocent kid who feels better when she has her paci or her sippy? Why should that bother me?

The urge to suck for comfort doesn't just vanish when a kid learns to walk and talk. We know that plenty of kids age 5 and 6 still breastfeed, and around here on MDC we call that normal. So we have to admit that it's not only breastfed kids for whom the sucking urge might persist awhile.

FWIW, two of my kids were paci babies. For DD1, I started limiting it to the house when she was 3, and to the bed when she was 4, and once she was 4 I told her I wouldn't replace the last one when it broke. I did that because it was clear to me that she was ready to move on. If she'd been strongly attached to it, though, I don't think I would have pushed the issue.

DD2 still has her paci. She'll be 3 next month. She uses it in the house, or in the car at night, and during other very stressful moments. She knows where it is, and gets it when she needs it, and puts it away when she's finished with it. I have no plans to force weaning from it. It's bad enough we had to wean from the breast already. I'm glad she still has some source of that kind of comfort.

DD1 is 5 1/2 and still takes a sippy of milk in the morning and evening. She snuggles next to me for ten minutes and I read to her while she drinks it. It's a very comforting thing for her, and I see no need to discourage it. She CAN and DOES use a regular cup at all other times. The twins also drink milk from sippies, for comfort as much as nourishment, and use a regular open cup for every other beverage. Sounds normal to me.

As far as mouth issues go: My kids are unlikely to have straight teeth anyway, given the state of my and DH's mouths. So I'm not too fussed about that. I'd rather let the child have the comfort now, and cross that bridge when I get there.


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## KaylaBeanie (Jan 27, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alfabetsoup* 
Some babies who are nursed ALSO use pacis. FYI.

I'm fully aware of that, I was referring to non-breastfed babies. Since nursing is supply and demand, a breastfed baby will generally use a pacifer less than a bottlefed baby.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AbbieB* 
But who decides what the rules/guidelines are? Is it the parent and child or is it the folks tisk-tisking over the child being "to old"?

Are you saying that if a parent has not set limits on nursing or using a pacifier for a toddler that they are wrong?

Absolutely not. It's up to each parent to set their own guidelines, and many times children set their own. I was generalizing that there are usually guidelines in place, manners if you will. A nursing three year old is (usually) taught that it's not okay to pull up mommy's shirt in the middle of a store, it's more polite to ask. In all extended bottle/pacifer using children, the same has been true. They cannot just demand their bottle/pacifer at any time and expect to get it that second. When I was 2.5, I was allowed my bottle at home, and for bedtime and naps. In public, I used a cup. My sister had health problems, so she had her paci clipped to her at all times.

I was simply speaking from personal experience. I would worry if a child used a pacifer to the point that they didn't speak much. I would raise my eyebrows if I saw a child beyond natural weaning age (7 or 8) using a bottle or pacifer, but I wouldn't think to judge the parents or say anything. Like I said, I plan to nurse my kids and I'm not opposed to introducing a paci after a few months, and I would let my child, even breastfed, wean from the paci on their own time, provided it wasn't hurting their speech.


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## dmpmercury (Mar 31, 2008)

My dd is 3 and still uses a sippy for her milk and she does enjoy getting sucking needs from it. To me it is like a glorified bottle. She weaned during my pregnancy. I do have rules about it and when she can have them and she doesn't use them in public. She can use an open cup just fine. I had a blankie that I would suck on. I don't think I used it in public past the age of 2 though and mainly used it at nights until 2nd grade or so. If my son is still nursing past age 2 I wouldn't be comfortable nursing in public any more and I would probably put limits on how often it was occuring.


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## DCMama01 (Aug 28, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *fairejour* 
Right. I would say that the vast majority of people here would view that as unhealthy, but that is the parent's choice.

I don't know anyone who views weaning from a paci/bottle at 12 mos as unhealthy so that would be a first.lol But I could still care less.

I don't care what other parents do with their kids fyi. I don't have a kid with Asperger's, for example, so there's no way I'm about to try to set rules on what's appropriate for a kid/parent living with it. Our kids are all different.


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## Amandamanda (Sep 29, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DCMama01* 
I'm planning to wean DD from the paci at 9 months and be completely over it by 12 months. Between 12 and 15 months is serious bottle weaning time.

I'm in the minority here, but 5 yo is way too old for my LO to still be nursing.

its very obvious that you are not an experienced mama yet.

good luck with your plans.


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## DCMama01 (Aug 28, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Amandamanda* 
its very obvious that you are not an experienced mama yet.

good luck with your plans.









It's worked for my siblings and I plus my little cousins (the 18 mos old has completely weaned and had the highest sucking need of everyone) so I think we're fine.









Thumb sucking is my real worry. Can't get rid of the thumb.


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DCMama01* 
It's worked for my siblings and I plus my little cousins (the 18 mos old has completely weaned and had the highest sucking need of everyone) so I think we're fine.









Thumb sucking is my real worry. Can't get rid of the thumb.

Well, if you're worried about extended pacifier use or thumb-sucking, you're certainly in the right place to learn about child-led breastfeeding.

Seriously, if they can just latch onto your breast to meet all their sucking needs, you may never even have to bother with pacifiers or thumbsucking at all!


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## LoMaH (May 21, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mammal_mama* 
Well, if you're worried about extended pacifier use or thumb-sucking, you're certainly in the right place to learn about child-led breastfeeding.

Seriously, if they can just latch onto your breast to meet all their sucking needs, you may never even have to bother with pacifiers or thumbsucking at all!
















Oh, I don't think that's going to work. If having a child of 5 sucking a paci/bottle in public bothers soooo many people, how many more people will totally freak if they saw a 5 yr. old attached to the breast in public!


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LoMaH* 
Oh, I don't think that's going to work. If having a child of 5 sucking a paci/bottle in public bothers soooo many people, how many more people will totally freak if they saw a 5 yr. old attached to the breast in public!
















Well, but according to those here who are freakin' -- it's just because they're so worried about tooth development, right? With extended breastfeeding there's no worry about ANY of that -- 'cause nobody knows you're not re-brushing their teeth everytime they nurse in the middle of the night.


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## LoMaH (May 21, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mammal_mama* 
Well, but according to those here who are freakin' -- it's just because they're so worried about tooth development, right? With extended breastfeeding there's no worry about ANY of that -- 'cause nobody knows you're not re-brushing their teeth everytime they nurse in the middle of the night.


















Oh, yeah! Well, make sure they don't find out that *YOU* are STILL brushing their teeth!


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LoMaH* 








Oh, yeah! Well, make sure they don't find out that YOU ARE STILL brushing their teeth!









Yes, thanks for reminding me! OF COURSE whenever my 4yo nurses in the middle of the night, I have her get up and go brush her teeth on her own, it was just a typo when I talked about me doing it, or not doing it. It's really HER doing it, or not doing it ...


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## LoMaH (May 21, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mammal_mama* 
Yes, thanks for reminding me! OF COURSE whenever my 4yo nurses in the middle of the night, I have her get up and go brush her teeth on her own, it was just a typo when I talked about me doing it, or not doing it. It's really HER doing it, or not doing it ...









Oh, so that's how it is?
Well, what if your too old kid still likes to chew on the toothbrush instead of brushing with it?
(OK, so now we're totally derailing this thread)


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

Hey, LoMaH, now that you're here, maybe I finally have a chance of getting a response to my truly zany attempts at humor up-thread!

When there was absolutely no response, I figured I must not have been that funny after all ... but maybe you'll appreciate my efforts, requoted below (oh and if you really don't think it's rolling-on-the-floor funny, please be honest and don't laugh just to appease me!).

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mammal_mama* 
I knew I would never be willing to take away whatever objects my children used for their comfort-sucking -- so I've just given them free access to my breasts and they've never needed to suck on pacifiers or bottles or anything.

But, and this will probably come as a great shock -- there are actually some in our society who get offended at seeing older kids breastfeeding!

And also some mothers just haven't been constitutionally able to whip-it-out in each and every situtation that their children have wanted to comfort-nurse. Also, some mothers have to work outside the home, or they have to do lots of driving everyday and end up relying on pacis to soothe their babies ... at least, those mamas whose boobs aren't long enough to be flung over their shoulders to Junior in his carseat!

So ... realizing that some mamas have more complicated lives to juggle than I do -- I understand that some children need other comfort items besides the breast.

Oh, and why would anyone have a problem with sippy-cups for older kids? Sometimes they get really thirsty whilst into their computer games -- and have you ever tried cleaning pop off your child's keyboard? It's a real pain.


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## gbailey (Mar 10, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *fairejour* 
Right. I would say that the vast majority of people here would view that as unhealthy, but that is the parent's choice.

Why is weaning from the paci at 9 months unhealthy? I'm asking because I have no idea why (not to debate)


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## gbailey (Mar 10, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DCMama01* 
I'm planning to wean DD from the paci at 9 months and be completely over it by 12 months. Between 12 and 15 months is serious bottle weaning time.

I'm in the minority here, but 5 yo is way too old for my LO to still be nursing.

Hopefully you'll have an easy time like we did. DD used her last bottle the day before her birthday. We kept them around just in case thinking she'd need it before bedtime but she didn't. It wasn't traumatic or stressful. Thankfully.


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gbailey* 
Why is weaning from the paci at 9 months unhealthy? I'm asking because I have no idea why (not to debate)









I don't think it's any particular age that makes it unhealthy -- it's the whole idea of some other person deciding when you've reached your fill of something.

I don't know about you -- but I know better than anyone else if I'm cold and need a sweater, or thirsty and need a drink --

And it's not so much that there's a particular "number" of degrees below which it's unhealthy for me to be outside without my sweater: what's unhealthy is ME being deprived of the warmth that *I* feel a need for, because some other person *who is not me* has decided that the temperature doesn't warrant me getting to wear my sweater.

I'm glad things went well for your daughter. It sounds like she weaned herself from her bottle, and the timing just happened to coincide with the timing that you saw as ideal?


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## Violet2 (Apr 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nextcommercial* 
I thought I would never allow my child to have a pacifier past 12 months. But, she had it at three and a half.

SHE paid a heavy price for it though, and I feel bad for that now. When she was in sixth grade, she had to have a lot of work done to fix her mouth. The orthodontist even asked if she had a pacifier longer than six months. "Umm.. yes.. three years longer"

She had to have braces. A spreader. (metal thing going across the roof of her mouth that we cranked every few days til the roof of her mouth spread out enough to move her teeth) and these pistons things that went on the sides of her jaw and moved her bottom jaw out farther so her top teeth met with her bottom teeth.

It was painful, long, embarassing, she couldn't eat.. she couldn't play the clarinet in band. It was just a big huge mess.

Momma: I had a spreader (horridly painful) and sucked my thumb up until I go the spreader.

My brother, didn't suck his thumb and was off the paci early on. He had to have a spreader.

My teeth look great and I never had braces. DH used a bottle until he was six--his teeth are perfect. I don't know that it's written in stone that everything is the pacifier's fault.









As for using the paci, it is none of my business unless people start trying to take the paci away (which has happened to my DD). I don't understand how people can do that to someone. Do I walk up to them and slap the ice cream or cigarettes or whatever their comfort object is out of their hands? No.









We used to do well with DD using the paci only for sleeping or long stressful trips, but she now demands it and throws a fit about it. It's been hard to get her to let it go. I've been trying to sort out when we chuck the thing. Hopefully by the time she's 3 she'll be able to process living without it.

V


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## LoMaH (May 21, 2007)

Quote:

those mamas whose boobs aren't long enough to be flung over their shoulders to Junior in his carseat!
LMAO! Had to leave out the ROTF part 'cause I'm "too old" for THAT!









On a serious note, why not try to be encouraging to one another since parenting can be hard enough on its own?


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## AbbieB (Mar 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nextcommercial* 

She had to have braces. A spreader. (metal thing going across the roof of her mouth that we cranked every few days til the roof of her mouth spread out enough to move her teeth) and these pistons things that went on the sides of her jaw and moved her bottom jaw out farther so her top teeth met with her bottom teeth.

It was painful, long, embarassing, she couldn't eat.. she couldn't play the clarinet in band. It was just a big huge mess.

I went through this exact same thing as a child. I never used a pacifier and I was breastfed for 6 months.


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## mommy777 (Nov 12, 2007)

My oldest is 10 years old and took a bottle till she was probably 5 years old. Yes, horrible







Her teeth are perfect. I really don't mind what other parents think of my parenting.


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## verde (Feb 11, 2007)

My DD used a binky until she was almost 4 y/o. I never had a problem with it. She found it soothing. Who am I to take that away? She stopped it on her own. She has no dental problems at all. I don't buy the argument that using a pacifier causes dental problems. Some kids with major dental issues never used a pacifier.

To answer the OP, no, I don't judge at all. Different kids have different needs and those needs may differ from the parents needs.


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AbbieB* 
I went through this exact same thing as a child. I never used a pacifier and I was breastfed for 6 months.

Thanks....

It's still hard not to feel guilty though.

But, she also gets sick ALL. THE. TIME. I still wrack my brain trying to figure out what I did wrong to give her such a crummy immune system. I think I'm just wired to feel guilty.


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## gbailey (Mar 10, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mammal_mama* 
I don't think it's any particular age that makes it unhealthy -- it's the whole idea of some other person deciding when you've reached your fill of something.

I don't know about you -- but I know better than anyone else if I'm cold and need a sweater, or thirsty and need a drink --

And it's not so much that there's a particular "number" of degrees below which it's unhealthy for me to be outside without my sweater: what's unhealthy is ME being deprived of the warmth that *I* feel a need for, because some other person *who is not me* has decided that the temperature doesn't warrant me getting to wear my sweater.

I'm glad things went well for your daughter. It sounds like she weaned herself from her bottle, and the timing just happened to coincide with the timing that you saw as ideal?


I totally see where you are coming from. I wasn't disputing what you were saying but trying to figure out where you were coming from about the unhealthy part.

You are right about the timing being ideal with her wanting to wean. Had she refused to drink using the sippy cup, I would have given her the bottle instead. I see where you are coming from 100% but I also understand why some parents prefer to not have their big kid using a paci. For me, the parent should do what he or she feels best based on their kids' needs. Thanks for replying to my question


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