# The "one-finger" rule?



## minkajane (Jun 5, 2005)

I actually found this idea on a site that supports the Pearls (UGH!) but I still kind of like the concept.
The whole idea is that when you take a kid somewhere that's not kid-proofed (breakables, etc), you tell them they can touch anything they want, but only with one finger. You then take them around the room and let them touch anything they want with their finger, gently reminding them about the rule if they try to grab the object. The premise is that once they've satisfied their curiosity about the "forbidden" objects, they'll be much more likely to leave them alone and be happy to play with the toys or books they've brought with them.

Any thoughts on this idea?


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## brewgirl (Sep 22, 2004)

We did this with my dd and found it to be very helpful. It gave her a way to explore when we were in situations that I could not control the level of baby proofing and also allowed her to experience textures that she otherwise wouldn't be exposed to. We called them one finger touches. It eliminated a lot of frustration and tantrums.


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## sadie_sabot (Dec 17, 2002)

we did the one finger touch thing, and it seemed great....met my neeeds for thinnns to noooot get broken, nd met her needs for exploration. If she was going to grab something I could say, one finger touch, and she knew what I meant (not that she always comlied...but usually she did). she's 3.5 now, and we still do it sometimes.


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## umsami (Dec 1, 2003)

Neat idea even if it came from an evil source!

I'm going to try this with my son.


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## bellona (Feb 17, 2006)

Tried it tonight and it worked pretty freakin' well


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## TortelliniMama (Mar 11, 2004)

Yeah, if there's something fragile that attracts ds's attention, we'll remind him to use "one gentle finger." It worked wonders with our Christmas tree. I actually went in the kitchen for a minute and came back to see that he had gone over to the tree and was ever so carefully touching an ornament with his "one gentle finger." He was very proud of himself and pointed it out to me.

We definitely didn't get it from the Pearls, though. I think someone had mentioned it in this forum, and it sounded promising.


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## LunaMom (Aug 8, 2002)

Yes, we used this when DD was a toddler, and even continued - now she's 7 and will even ask if she can touch things "with one finger."

As a toddler, we let her know which things were a "no touch," a "yes touch," and a "one-finger touch."


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## apriljoy (Sep 22, 2005)

I will certainly try that when ds gets older...but I'll say I got the idea from minkajane.


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## sadkitty (Jun 24, 2004)

What age did ya'll start this? We say "gentle touches" but Ds doesn't really get it yet.


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## mesecina (Apr 22, 2004)

Yes! I think we started this when DD was a toddeler, and wanted to touch the flowers in the garden, but had a tendency to pull the petals off. With one finger, she could still feel the texture, but not destroy them. Also worked really well in stores - I remember being with her in a yarn store, and letting her feel all the soft yarns, but with one finger so she wouldn't pull out the strands.


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## sadie_sabot (Dec 17, 2002)

I think I initially heard about it ehre, too.


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## provocativa (Jan 17, 2005)

We did it as a precursor to 'gentle'- and no way the Pearls 'discovered' this technique. It's a logical step.


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## *LoveBugMama* (Aug 2, 2003)

This is what we did when Noah was a baby/toddler. It worked really well.


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## MillingNome (Nov 18, 2005)

My kids just didn't touch it at all or if they did, they did it all out. We never child proofed our house either. They weren't hit into submission (ok except for the outlets, they'd get a tap on the hands







: ). What I found was people would get very nervous with kids touching things at all. We found it worked best if they already had something in their hands and of course we talked with them no matter where we were. If they had to touch something, just found it too facinating, we would instruct them how to handle it the proper way, sit them down and let them explore the object. That way they could learn how to hold stuff the right way. I guess our thinking was as parents we liked to touch stuff too. It told them we expected they could be trusted and were capable of being careful. I must say though, they were really good kids and asked before they touched stuff. It's just what we found works for us


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## MovingMomma (Apr 28, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *boongirl*
Why does it have to be one finger?

We use the "one finger rule" especially for things that DD could pinch something off. Plants are much safer when she remembers "one finger."









We use "gentle" for animals, other children, etc.


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## TortelliniMama (Mar 11, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *boongirl*
I keep thinking two things. One, there are lot of things that can be damaged with just one finger. I can just picture a little one saying "but I only touched it with one finger!" after it came crashing down to the floor. Or "I only put one finger in her eye!" Two, I am wondering if just taking a little one around the room and teaching them how to touch things gently would be enough. Why does it have to be one finger?

Oh, it's certainly not the only way we show/tell ds to touch things. For us, it's been helpful for those items that could be damaged by squeezing (e.g., Christmas ornaments, flowers). Ds can't squeeze with just one finger. And in terms of your second point, some kids might not get any more out of the one-finger idea than they would out of just gentle touch, but we've found that it makes things more concrete for ds. It gives him a specific action that's okay to do, which is especially helpful when he's really excited about an item and his excitement gets in the way of remembering which ways of touching are gentle. I don't expect it'll be a technique that will last far into childhood, but it's been helpful in these toddler times.


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