# I know it not a big deal, but it bugs me...



## eepster (Sep 20, 2006)

I know it not a big deal, but it bugs me when waiters don't give DS a menu. I know most 3 yo can't read them, but a few can. Besides, don't most 3 yo enjoy looking at them even if they can't read them?

So there you have it, I'm annoyed enough about having to share a menu with DS to post about it online.


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## MamaChicken (Aug 21, 2006)

I still have to ask that resteraunts give my 11 yo an adult menu. He hasn't eaten kid food in years! Well, really never has liked it.

Just ask them to hand him a menu when you get there.


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## no5no5 (Feb 4, 2008)

UGH, me too. I'm always the last person to figure out what I want to eat, because not only am I slow, and trying to decide for two people, but I also am reading over DD's shoulder and fielding her questions about the various items listed.







I guess it'd only eliminate one of those issues if DD had her own menu, but still. Don't _all_ kids want their own menu???


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## AndrewsMother (Jul 30, 2007)

My 3 year old DS emphatically requests his own menu. I refer to him as my "squeaky wheel".


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## ecoteat (Mar 3, 2006)

I don't think it's that waiters don't think they can read, I think waiters don't think of little kids as customers. I have to ask for a place setting for dd most of the time. Don't they realize she's going to need a FORK? And of course dd wants to "read" the menu--and I don't want to share mine!


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## eepster (Sep 20, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ecoteat* 
I have to ask for a place setting for dd most of the time. Don't they realize she's going to need a FORK?

Yikes, at least that never happens to us. I do usually have to ask for extra napkins though, but that's b/c of things he does that adults usually don't.


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## greenmamapagan (Jan 5, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ecoteat* 
I don't think it's that waiters don't think they can read, *I think waiters don't think of little kids as customers*. I have to ask for a place setting for dd most of the time. Don't they realize she's going to need a FORK? And of course dd wants to "read" the menu--and I don't want to share mine!

ITA







which is all the more ridiculous because usually the reason we are there in the first place is that we forgot to pack enough food for DD or she can't wait til we get home to eat








Yes, I was under the impression that most kids prefer to have their own menu even if they can't read it.
I don't think DD can read much of most menus but she can certainly find the words "hot chocolate"


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## HeatherB (Jan 30, 2003)

(Moving over to Parenting!)










Yeah, definitely an issue whether they're reading or not! Ah, the fits we've had from the 1yo or 2yo who wanted to look, too.









I totally agree that it makes it SO much easier once they can read - or if it's a picture menu and they can pick out what they want.


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## PreggieUBA2C (Mar 20, 2007)

There is one very sweet mama who works at a restaurant we sometimes go to, and I love that she asks dh and me if we're having drinks, and when we say yes, she asks each of our children what they would like to drink. She knows they can have pure juice and not pop, but they hate pop so would never ask. She took the time the first time to figure out what is acceptable to us and trusts our dc to order something acceptable and trust us to interject if it isn't (which has never happened).

This is so rare though. We usually have to ask for place settings too and our boys don't eat kids menu stuff, so we always say something about the menus when we arrive anyway. The hardest part is having to inform and explain in excruciating detail that our children each need a seat- that even though they are smaller than adults, they still each have a bottom they have to plunk down somewhere not on their brothers' laps... So, booth for four doesn't work for family of six.


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## SpiderMum (Sep 13, 2008)

I waited tables for years...and I can pretty much speak for the majority when I say that a family with kids is almost always your worst nightmare. Not because of the kids...but because of the parents. I can't tell you how many times parents tried to get their child to order for themselves...and instead of helping them when they were OBVIOUSLY too scared to do so...they just make me stand there and get more and more behind. Or the parents that make you go find their kids at the games and ask them what they want to eat.







Because apparently I'm a mind-reader and know which kid is yours...

I have soooooo many horror stories of terrible parents that I've waited on...a few involving children pooping on the floor even...

If you want an extra menu, feel free to ask. If you're nice and friendly a server will be more than happy to get you one. It's one of the easier requests we would receive!


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## PreggieUBA2C (Mar 20, 2007)

I waited on tables for years too, a decade ago now, but I didn't have nightmarish encounters with families as a norm at all- rarely actually. Perhaps it depends on the restaurant and its location.

I can imagine it being hard to wait for children to order when they don't want to or aren't ready. I think treating a child like a real person whose presence matters is still very important, and I think that is what bothers parents here- that the initial consideration isn't made.

I don't make my dc order. If they want to, they do, and they are eager, so nobody is slowed down.

Consideration should obviously go both ways though, I agree.


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## gcgirl (Apr 3, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *greenmamapagan* 
ITA







which is all the more ridiculous because usually the reason we are there in the first place is that we forgot to pack enough food for DD or she can't wait til we get home to eat









Lol, I can totally relate! That's usually how WE end up in restaurants too.

FWIW, I don't care about waiters not serving children the same as adults. The waiters who DO usually have kids of their own. For the others, it's just not on their radar, kwim? The exception being restaurants that really cater to children, where the staff seem to be trained to treat the children as customers. Otherwise, I have no problem asking for what I/we need.







Just doesn't bother me I guess.


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## One_Girl (Feb 8, 2008)

The kid menu is often on the back of the place mat along with fun coloring activities in the restraunts I bring my dd to. They usually also provide the crayons. If he likes reading then you might consider bringing some picture books with you to help him stay engaged.


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## seaheroine (Dec 24, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AndrewsMother* 
My 3 year old DS emphatically requests his own menu. I refer to him as my "squeaky wheel".


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## ShadowMoon (Oct 18, 2006)

I've never had a waiter offer Ds a menu but they do offer him his own water/drink and will ask me if there is anything they can get him. Ds wouldn't know what to do with a menu, so the verbal acknowledgments work for me


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## pianojazzgirl (Apr 6, 2006)

I don't really mind my kids not being brought a menu - I don't mind asking for extras if needed. The thing that bugs me is when they don't set a place for my kids (happens to us all the time), or when the server automatically brings water for everyone (usually a good thing), but doesn't bring any for my two kids. Weird.


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## pixiekisses (Oct 14, 2008)

We go to some places that will automatically bring out menues for the kids, ask them what they want to drink and stuff, that is great.
And if we go somewhere they don't, I'll just say right away that we'll need x many menues.
I let the kids order if they want to, then they'll kinda jump on it anyway and loudly state their order right away, and otherwise I'll order for them.
I've never experienced anywhere that did not set a place for the kiddos, that would be so weird. And many places are good about automatically bringing straws in the kids water/juice. (Not to mention not filling the glasses up, and just state that it's a refill waiting. That is for little ones though.)


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## GoBecGo (May 14, 2008)

At our favourite japanese restaurant they used to give DD the kid menu. Then one of them overheard me reading it to her and her saying "but Mama, where is the sushi?" (because it's variations on a "kid friendly" theme of noodles or rice with chicken or beef). After they watched her devour an adult platter of sushi almost without help and after she told one of them the raw sweet shrimp was "lovely and creamy" they often ask her for her order before they ask us!







I love eating out with her, and i hate it when she is disregarded by staff too. Though it's increasingly hard since she is very quick to say "may i also have a menu please!?" if they miss her out


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ecoteat* 
I don't think it's that waiters don't think they can read, I think waiters don't think of little kids as customers. I have to ask for a place setting for dd most of the time. Don't they realize she's going to need a FORK? And of course dd wants to "read" the menu--and I don't want to share mine!









This explains it! That's why we used to have to ask for another setting so often when the kids were little. It was mystifying. It just occurred to me we haven't had to do that in a while. Ds is 10 y.o.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gcgirl* 
Lol, I can totally relate! That's usually how WE end up in restaurants too.

FWIW, I don't care about waiters not serving children the same as adults. The waiters who DO usually have kids of their own. For the others, it's just not on their radar, kwim? The exception being restaurants that really cater to children, where the staff seem to be trained to treat the children as customers. Otherwise, I have no problem asking for what I/we need.







Just doesn't bother me I guess.

Exactly! The funniest was the young man who brought my small son a _glass_ of root beer, nearly as big as ds's head. I thanked him and asked him to put it in a _small_ paper to-go cup with a lid and straw. The 5 y.o. child doesn't need a Big Gulp-sized soda that can flood the table and crash on the floor.


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## Everrgreen (Feb 27, 2007)

I have had the opposite experience at restaurants! I often have waiters bringing my BABY a kids menu and crayons. He's almost one now but this has been going on for months! I feel like saying "All he is going to do is eat those crayons!"







And he definitely doesn't need his own meal off the kids menu! And after they take our order they then ask if they can bring anything for him (and I can remember this happening once before he had even started solids!).

None of this bothers me of course, I just think it's funny


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## KristaDJ (May 30, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Gillian28* 
I have had the opposite experience at restaurants! I often have waiters bringing my BABY a kids menu and crayons. He's almost one now but this has been going on for months! I feel like saying "All he is going to do is eat those crayons!"







And he definitely doesn't need his own meal off the kids menu! And after they take our order they then ask if they can bring anything for him (and I can remember this happening once before he had even started solids!).

None of this bothers me of course, I just think it's funny









Same here. I always get asked if my baby needs a seat (when I'm wearing them as a tiny newborn ? ) And they always give them all menus, crayons and waters no matter how old they are.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SpiderMum* 
I waited tables for years...
<snip>
If you want an extra menu, feel free to ask.
<snip>

LOL, I think that sums up the attitude most of the moms are talking about here. A menu for a child is not an _extra_ menu, it's just a menu for everyone at the table.


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## aelf (Jun 9, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eepster* 
I know it not a big deal, but it bugs me when waiters don't give DS a menu.

That would bother me, too. We tend to go to the same places regularly, but our daughter has always been offered a menu, and probably by the time she was 4 they'd ask if we wanted a child's menu or a regular menu. They also ask her for her order, and then do that "checking with the parents" look to make sure what she picked is fine. And starting when she was 5, the waitress at one of our regular places started offering to let our daughter handle swiping the credit card for the payment.

It's really a great way to build customer loyalty because our daughter will specifically ask to go to the place where the waitress puts a lemon in her water, or the place where the waiter put her sketch up on the bar, etc.


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## VisionaryMom (Feb 20, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ecoteat* 
I have to ask for a place setting for dd most of the time. Don't they realize she's going to need a FORK? And of course dd wants to "read" the menu--and I don't want to share mine!

We also have to ask for place settings frequently. I've gotten pretty snippy about it because it annoys me so much.


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## MJB (Nov 28, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pianojazzgirl* 
I don't really mind my kids not being brought a menu - I don't mind asking for extras if needed. The thing that bugs me is when they don't set a place for my kids (happens to us all the time), or when the server automatically brings water for everyone (usually a good thing), but doesn't bring any for my two kids. Weird.

Same here. I don't think that's happened in a while, though, now that my youngest is 4. But it drives me nuts... children do eat and drink, you know.

My 4yo reads well, and prefers "kid food" so he's happy with a kids' menu. My 7yo doesn't read very well and prefers adult food, so I just read my menu to him. He does get a little insulted by kids' menus but is happy if there are crayons to draw with.


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## frontierpsych (Jun 11, 2006)

I have had some weird experiences in this regard too. When DS was a newborn I'd wear him in the sling, and still usually get asked if we needed a high chair or a booster seat. Um, no, my baby can not sit up! lol! He's also been brought a kids menu at most places since a few months old. He is 16 months now and just starting to get the hang of coloring, though he still sometimes tries to eat the crayons.


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

Yeah, I've had all of the above happen at least once.

Now I tend to say something like, "Hi, 4 for lunch, including 1 high chair and 2 kids' menus" or, when getting a table when we're meeting friends for dinner, "Hi, 9 for dinner, including 1 high chair, 1 booster seat, and 5 kids' menus."

I figure if I give them all the pertinent info up front they won't have to try to determine which kids are old enough for high chairs/booster seats/chairs, and which ones wants kids' vs. regular menus.


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## blizzard_babe (Feb 14, 2007)

DS is 20 months, and I ask for a menu for him. Otherwise he's so busy "reading" (looking at it studiously, then looking up to see if we're paying attention to how cute he's being) that I either don't get a look at the menu, or have to read upside-down on the menu of whoever's sitting across from me. Luckily, I'm pretty good at reading upside-down.


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## snoopy5386 (May 6, 2005)

the place setting thing happens here and drives me nuts too. Ummm my kid would like a napkin and a fork thanks!


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

I have, and never will, understand how stingy some places are with their silverware. Would it *really* kill them for our family of four to have four complete place settings?









Quote:


Originally Posted by *aelf* 
That would bother me, too. We tend to go to the same places regularly, but our daughter has always been offered a menu, and probably by the time she was 4 they'd ask if we wanted a child's menu or a regular menu. They also ask her for her order, and then do that "checking with the parents" look to make sure what she picked is fine. And starting when she was 5, the waitress at one of our regular places started offering to let our daughter handle swiping the credit card for the payment.

It's really a great way to build customer loyalty because our daughter will specifically ask to go to the place where the waitress puts a lemon in her water, or the place where the waiter put her sketch up on the bar, etc.









We got to the same place every 4th of July (out of town) and the watier is SOOOOO amazing. Actually interacts with the kids in a way that is comfortable for them all and, by doing so, makes the adults have a great experience too. He definately rakes in the $ which, I am sure is common with him simply because of his attitute towards children.


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## mamatoablessing (Oct 17, 2005)

I haven't experienced the menu or place setting issue. Usually my kids (5 & 3) get a menu, place setting and get asked what they'd like to drink. I'm surprised to hear that this is an issue.

But my #1 pet peeve when dining out is the servers who bring the kid's food before ours! UGH! This drives me batty. 1) we go out to dinner so we can all sit down and eat - together! 2) if the kids finish eating and we're just starting, it's going to make for a very unpleasant meal for DH & I. I know servers are trying to be helpful but I wish they'd at least ask before bringing out the the kid's meal first.


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## Julie1014 (Feb 12, 2007)

Our son likes to have water (like us) plus milk so we always have to ask for both. Also, he is a slow eater so we actually ask for his food to come out first so he can pick at it and we all are usually done at the same time. My only annoyance is when he gets a silverware bundle with a honking huge steak knife (which I quickly stash) or when the server puts a steaming hot plate right in front of him. The only thing that really offends _him_ is when the hostess offers a booster seat. He's a BIG BOY!







It's a bit funny when he responds that he's big enough, thankyouverymuch


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## StephandOwen (Jun 22, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BrandiRhoades* 
We also have to ask for place settings frequently. I've gotten pretty snippy about it because it annoys me so much.

This is a pet peeve around here too. For awhile, every time we went out to eat we had to ask for a place setting for ds. He was 5 at the time and this wasn't the same place over and over. It got to the point where I really felt like standing up and yelling across the restaurant "THE KID IS 5. HE IS NOT AN ANIMAL AND HE WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE A FORK AND NAPKIN". Of course, I never did







It did get better though.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamatoablessing* 
But my #1 pet peeve when dining out is the servers who bring the kid's food before ours! UGH! This drives me batty.

That's funny because pretty much the only way we can go out to dinner as a family is if ds gets his food first. He just doesn't have the patience to wait as long as the restaurants usually take. So we get his first. If he finishes before we do and is getting finicky, we might get him a small bowl of ice cream as desert


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## Gimme Pineapple (Sep 19, 2009)

I have had many jobs waiting tables. Before I got pregnant, I knew NOTHING about kids. All parents are different and the server can't be expected to know how you raise your children. Some parents feed their children off of their plate, some order from the kid's menu, some want kid's cups with water and no refills, some allow their children to have unlimited amounts of soda.

But- a server is there to SERVE the customer. They just need to be filled in on how you want things to be.


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## bcblondie (Jun 9, 2009)

Lol. Funny you mention this because the last restaurant I was at, they offered my 13 month old a menu. He does like to flip the pages I guess... But I said no, he'll just nibble from our plates.
So maybe it's people like me that make waiters stop asking. Sorry guys!


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## StephandOwen (Jun 22, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bcblondie* 
Lol. Funny you mention this because the last restaurant I was at, they offered my 13 month old a menu. He does like to flip the pages I guess... But I said no, he'll just nibble from our plates.
So maybe it's people like me that make waiters stop asking. Sorry guys!

Personally I find the thought of a young child playing with a menu (that who knows how many other people touched) kinda gross. But, then again, my 6 year old still chews on things (sensory issues) so he'd be just as likely as your 13 month old to nibble on that menu









To each their own!


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## bcblondie (Jun 9, 2009)

That is true! We were at the allergist the other day and he wanted to touch all the magazines and I was like. Ew.. Especially since it's a doc's office. Sick people touched them.


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## Linda on the move (Jun 15, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Gimme Pineapple* 
I have had many jobs waiting tables. Before I got pregnant, I knew NOTHING about kids. All parents are different and the server can't be expected to know how you raise your children. Some parents feed their children off of their plate, some order from the kid's menu, some want kid's cups with water and no refills, some allow their children to have unlimited amounts of soda.

But- a server is there to SERVE the customer. They just need to be filled in on how you want things to be.

yep. I waited tables when I was in college. I had kids in my 30s. I didn't know anything about babies/ children when I was waiting tables!

We ate out a lot when our kids were small and I never once I had problem with wait staff, but I communicated what I wanted in a nice way, assuming that they:

1) wanted to make me happy so I would tip well
2) couldn't read my mind or know what would work best for my child(ren)

sometimes after a table is full of people, menus, drinks, etc it can be difficult to tell how many forks/napkins/etc are on the table. If you are missing something, just say so.









Honestly, the staff isn't trying to annoy you and if you ask nicely, they'll get you pretty much any thing you want (that they have in the resturant).

It was my experience that families are a pain to wait for -- their total is low for how much work is involved so the % tip is low for the effort. (when your child makes such a mess that the floor needs to be cleaned before any other patrons can get near the table, tip extra







).


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## rainyday (Apr 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Gimme Pineapple* 
I have had many jobs waiting tables. Before I got pregnant, I knew NOTHING about kids. All parents are different and the server can't be expected to know how you raise your children. Some parents feed their children off of their plate, some order from the kid's menu, some want kid's cups with water and no refills, some allow their children to have unlimited amounts of soda.

But- a server is there to SERVE the customer. They just need to be filled in on how you want things to be.

Is it really that unusual for a family to want silverware and a napkin for their child? Is it really so uncommon for a family to want their children who are well beyond the toddler stage to be given water glasses when everyone else is? Should we really have to ask for a bread plate for our son?

Why can't restaurant staff just assume that kids who are at least beyond the toddler phase are people and provide them with the basic amenities of utensils, a napkin, and a glass of water? If the parents don't want it, they can decline, but come on, we shouldn't have to ask for silverware for a six year old (and this still happens to us regularly)!


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## lindberg99 (Apr 23, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Gimme Pineapple* 
I have had many jobs waiting tables. Before I got pregnant, I knew NOTHING about kids. All parents are different and the server can't be expected to know how you raise your children. Some parents feed their children off of their plate, some order from the kid's menu, some want kid's cups with water and no refills, some allow their children to have unlimited amounts of soda.

But- a server is there to SERVE the customer. They just need to be filled in on how you want things to be.

Yep, I was clueless about kids until I had them in my 30's. I wouldn't waste much time getting upset about the hostess not offering my child a menu, I would just ask for one. I never worked as a waitress but I bet they get some pretty crazy requests! So I'm sure someone asking for a menu for a 3 yo wouldn't be a big shock.

That's funny about kids not getting silverware. My kids have never had that happen. What usually happens is they get silverware and don't use it because we're having pizza or sandwiches.


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## rainyday (Apr 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Linda on the move* 
sometimes after a table is full of people, menus, drinks, etc it can be difficult to tell how many forks/napkins/etc are on the table. If you are missing something, just say so.









I'm sure this is true for large parties. But I encounter it all the time when I'm out with my family, which is a huge party of three. I think that failure to give kids place settings and a glass is a sign of not really seeing the child as human.

I think it's similar to how many restaurants used to greet us by saying "Two?" despite 4-foot tall DS standing right there next to us. This has been happening less lately, but it does still happen to us.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Linda on the move* 
It was my experience that families are a pain to wait for -- their total is low for how much work is involved so the % tip is low for the effort. (when your child makes such a mess that the floor needs to be cleaned before any other patrons can get near the table, tip extra







) .

I think that sometimes this ends up being a self-fulfilling prophecy for waitstaff. They expect a low tip, so they give mediocre service and then get the low tip they were expecting.


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## eepster (Sep 20, 2006)

I know I could ask for a menu for DS, but the hostess is usually long gone before I've got both me and DS seated, then we look up at everyone else with their menus, but there is just one left for DS and me to share







. Then when the waitress comes around the whole rest of the family is ready to order except DS and I b/c we had to share.

I know that not every family needs menus for every member, but is it a big deal if the menu sits on the table unused?


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## Tiffanoodle (Nov 10, 2007)

I guess I've never had many of these problems. The vast majority of the time, if we're out to eat with the kids we're at a restaurant where they have kids' menus and crayons. Up until our youngest was flashing a mouth of pearly whites, the hostesses usually asked if we needed crayons for her. I would usually smile and make a light joke about her thinking that the crayons were the meal so we'd pass.







I generally have a book in her diaper bag for her to read if she gets bored. Up until very recently, I would bring "toddler silverware" for her to use so she didn't poke her eye out with a regular fork.

I would much rather then ask, though, than just bring or not bring something out on an assumption.


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## Eeyore35 (Aug 2, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Gillian28* 
I have had the opposite experience at restaurants! I often have waiters bringing my BABY a kids menu and crayons. He's almost one now but this has been going on for months! I feel like saying "All he is going to do is eat those crayons!"







And he definitely doesn't need his own meal off the kids menu! And after they take our order they then ask if they can bring anything for him (and I can remember this happening once before he had even started solids!).

None of this bothers me of course, I just think it's funny









This.

I do sometimes have to ask for a kids menu at our favourite restaurant,as the regular menus are already at hte table, but the kids ones aren't. usually, my daughter can order wthout seeing the menu though.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Linda on the move* 
yep. I waited tables when I was in college. I had kids in my 30s. I didn't know anything about babies/ children when I was waiting tables!

We ate out a lot when our kids were small and I never once I had problem with wait staff, but I communicated what I wanted in a nice way, assuming that they:

1) wanted to make me happy so I would tip well
2) couldn't read my mind or know what would work best for my child(ren)

sometimes after a table is full of people, menus, drinks, etc it can be difficult to tell how many forks/napkins/etc are on the table. If you are missing something, just say so.









Honestly, the staff isn't trying to annoy you and if you ask nicely, they'll get you pretty much any thing you want (that they have in the resturant).

It was my experience that families are a pain to wait for -- their total is low for how much work is involved so the % tip is low for the effort. (when your child makes such a mess that the floor needs to be cleaned before any other patrons can get near the table, tip extra







).

I usually tip about 20%, more if my daughter makes a big mess, or it's REALLY busy. Unless the service is lousy, but that's rare.


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## UberMama (Feb 27, 2007)

My kids are 7, 7 and 5 - so if they gets a kids menu, I don't mind. But when I order them items from the adult menu, it makes about 90% of the waiters question if I really want that for them... YES! My kids do not eat those small portions and they don't want gross mac and cheese or a corn dog or whatever, they want steak, baked potato, or whatever is on my menu.

Anymore when we walk into a restaurant, I tell the host that we have 5 people in our party. They say "Two adults and three children?" and I say, "We'll just say five adults" and they get the idea. I want regular menus for the kids and they need their own chairs, not highchairs, lol.


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## greenmamapagan (Jan 5, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KristaDJ
LOL, I think that sums up the attitude most of the moms are talking about here. A menu for a child is not an [I*
extra[/I] menu, it's just a menu for everyone at the table.











Quote:


Originally Posted by *StephandOwen* 
That's funny because pretty much the only way we can go out to dinner as a family is if ds gets his food first. He just doesn't have the patience to wait as long as the restaurants usually take. So we get his first. If he finishes before we do and is getting finicky, we might get him a small bowl of ice cream as desert









Yep. If children should get different treatment at all it should be that their meals should come first. Not so early that they are finished when the parents are starting, just if we ask for DD's meal to come with our entrees we mean it, if you decide we must be insane then don't be surprised if she goes psyhco from hunger while we wait


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## HeatherB (Jan 30, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *greenmamapagan* 
Yep. If children should get different treatment at all it should be that their meals should come first. Not so early that they are finished when the parents are starting, just if we ask for DD's meal to come with our entrees we mean it, if you decide we must be insane then don't be surprised if she goes psyhco from hunger while we wait

















I just had to chuckle because in the US, entrees are the main dish, whereas in Australia we discovered they are the appetizer.









(And I am now craving some super yummy pizza and bubbly "lemonade" that we had while Down Under... But that's OT! And I realize the terminology may apply to other countries than AU.







)


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## greenmamapagan (Jan 5, 2008)

LOL really? I always knew you folks were backward (jk!). An appetizer here would more likely be a teeny platter of stuff _before_ the entree, just a few mouthfuls at most.


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## HeatherB (Jan 30, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *greenmamapagan* 
LOL really? I always knew you folks were backward (jk!). An appetizer here would more likely be a teeny platter of stuff _before_ the entree, just a few mouthfuls at most.

Yup, really! It was much fun to figure out the differences in lingo while we were there.







Here you might have hors d'oeuvres as bite-size nibbles (but not generally with a meal, or at least the sit-down portion of it), and appetizers as a small course preceding the entree/main course. The etymology of it all is fascinating to me - how we have the same words for different concepts, yet in this case, so similar!


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## GoBecGo (May 14, 2008)

LOL you are ALL foreign crazies! I'm in the UK, my kids food comes with my STARTER, not my MAIN (course) and of course we all like lashings of dessert (or pudding in certain regions







)


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## Super_mommy (Nov 13, 2009)

I have not faced a situation like this. I don't think they are old enough to pick what they want to eat.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Super_mommy* 
I have not faced a situation like this. I don't think they are old enough to pick what they want to eat.

How old are you kids? My older dd could pick what she wanted when she was a toddler. My younger is still a baby and mostly breastfed so it isn't an issue.


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## Linda on the move (Jun 15, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GoBecGo* 
of course we all like lashings of dessert (or pudding in certain regions








)

My DH is british and it after 15 years together it still drives me bonkers when he says something like "are we having cake for pudding?" or "Can we have jelly for pudding?"


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## lindberg99 (Apr 23, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eepster* 
I know I could ask for a menu for DS, but the hostess is usually long gone before I've got both me and DS seated, then we look up at everyone else with their menus, but there is just one left for DS and me to share







. Then when the waitress comes around the whole rest of the family is ready to order except DS and I b/c we had to share.

I know that not every family needs menus for every member, but is it a big deal if the menu sits on the table unused?

I would just start asking the hostess right when she is grabbing the menus before seating you. When she asks "how many?" just say "Four, and we need four menus" or however many. You'd better get used to doing that because from what I can tell, hostesses don't seem to assume a child wants a regular menu until they are 5th - 6th grade. My DD is 11.5 and is just now getting asked if she wants a regular menu. Of course, she is so picky, she usually likes ordering off the kids' menu! But we always have to ask for a menu for our 9.5 yo. Most hostesses will just give him a kids' one.


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## VisionaryMom (Feb 20, 2007)

With all due respect to the former servers and hostesses here, I don't think it's uncommon for a 4-year-old to need a spoon, fork, and napkin. It's not an issue of now knowing how many are there. Either the silverware's on the table, in which case we've actually had hostesses start to remove place settings for the kids, or they're grabbing bundles when they go to seat us. Either way it's the assumption that children don't need their own items. When I order an appetizer, I expect there to be enough small plates for everyone at the table. That's not unusual or something I should have to ask to have happen.

Anything else I'm happy to say what we want or to answer a question. We often get asked if DC want their food first. They don't, and I'm fine with being asked. I am not fine, however, with the server assuming that and bringing their food first on their own. I don't always remember to say they want their food with us, but I shouldn't have to. The standard restaurant service is for all parties to get their food at the same time. I'm really just asking for my children to be treated the same as other customers.

On tipping, yes I think there are self-fulfilling prophecies on that. My husband was a server for 4 years. He's a *very* generous tipper, but he will start decreasing the tip the more we have to ask for our children.

One thing I do ask is that we are not seated next to the kitchen. I actually don't mind without the kids, but there's too much going on with people in and out to make it an enjoyable evening with small children.


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## lindberg99 (Apr 23, 2003)

What type of restaurants are these that don't give silverware to children? I really can't remember that ever happening. Sometimes they give them a different placemat (that has games on it or whatever) but there's always silverware.


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## rainyday (Apr 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BrandiRhoades* 
With all due respect to the former servers and hostesses here, I don't think it's uncommon for a 4-year-old to need a spoon, fork, and napkin. It's not an issue of now knowing how many are there. Either the silverware's on the table, in which case we've actually had hostesses start to remove place settings for the kids, or they're grabbing bundles when they go to seat us. Either way it's the assumption that children don't need their own items. When I order an appetizer, I expect there to be enough small plates for everyone at the table. That's not unusual or something I should have to ask to have happen.

Anything else I'm happy to say what we want or to answer a question. We often get asked if DC want their food first. They don't, and I'm fine with being asked. I am not fine, however, with the server assuming that and bringing their food first on their own. I don't always remember to say they want their food with us, but I shouldn't have to. The standard restaurant service is for all parties to get their food at the same time. I'm really just asking for my children to be treated the same as other customers.

On tipping, yes I think there are self-fulfilling prophecies on that. My husband was a server for 4 years. He's a *very* generous tipper, but he will start decreasing the tip the more we have to ask for our children.

One thing I do ask is that we are not seated next to the kitchen. I actually don't mind without the kids, but there's too much going on with people in and out to make it an enjoyable evening with small children.











Amen to all of what Brandi said. Treat kids like people. I can understand not bringing a place setting for a 4-month old. But for a 4-year-old? Or an 8-year-old?


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## rainyday (Apr 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lindberg99* 
What type of restaurants are these that don't give silverware to children? I really can't remember that ever happening. Sometimes they give them a different placemat (that has games on it or whatever) but there's always silverware.

All types, except chains because we never eat at chains. It does seem to happen less frequently at more expensive (i.e. entrees that are $15+) restaurants, but we've encountered it at all types--ethnic restaurants of various kinds, pizza, diners, "nice" restaurants, etc.


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## MadiMamacita (Jan 29, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lindberg99* 
What type of restaurants are these that don't give silverware to children? I really can't remember that ever happening. Sometimes they give them a different placemat (that has games on it or whatever) but there's always silverware.

mine is only a year old so we haven't faced this much, but i ahve eaten out with other kids, and i have never seen anyone take a kids silverware/not provide it. (not saying it doesnt happen, as there are plenty of PPs who have seen it, but just that i've never!)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *greenmamapagan* 
LOL really? I always knew you folks were backward (jk!). An appetizer here would more likely be a teeny platter of stuff _before_ the entree, just a few mouthfuls at most.

http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=entree
it seems that in this case, its the US that is backwards!


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## 2xy (Nov 30, 2008)

I've been waitressing for the past eight years while homeschooling my kids and going to school. I just wanted to respond to a few things.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *UberMama* 
But when I order them items from the adult menu, it makes about 90% of the waiters question if I really want that for them... YES!

I'm sure this can be annoying and almost seems patronizing, but there is a reason for it. See, when a customer orders something and we (the waitstaff) don't field things properly, WE get in trouble for it. The kitchen manager/chef chews our behinds about not having clarified that the portion size is huge, or the buffalo wings are spicier than the norm, or whatever.

So if an individual orders a plate of ribs for their 5yo, yes, I will make mention that the entree is enormous and that most adults don't finish it. That way, a $20+ dish isn't wasted and I don't get chastised when the customer sees it and goes, "Oh, I didn't realize it was so big. Can we get something else, instead?"

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BrandiRhoades* 
With all due respect to the former servers and hostesses here, I don't think it's uncommon for a 4-year-old to need a spoon, fork, and napkin.

Napkin, yes. Spoons and forks are usually not used by the younger crowd, because they mostly order things like grilled cheese sandwiches, hot dogs, burgers, and chicken strips....all of which are finger foods.

At my place of employment, the tables are always set before people sit down. So we spend more time removing place settings than we do bringing them. I always leave the place setting for young children, but most parents push the entire setting to the side, anyway, so their kid has a place to play or color.

And you would be surprised at how many people ignore the small plate they are provided and allow their children to eat bread/appetizers directly off the table. Actually, I've seen a large number of _adults_ use their menus as bread plates (even though they have a bread plate) before I clear the menus away.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PreggieUBA2C* 
I can imagine it being hard to wait for children to order when they don't want to or aren't ready. I think treating a child like a real person whose presence matters is still very important, and I think that is what bothers parents here- that the initial consideration isn't made.

Families are all different. Some parents are control freaks who will force their kids to do the ordering, others are control freaks who won't allow them to order. It can be difficult to read people....especially when it's busy and the turnover is fast-paced. I'm all for treating children as real people....it's usually the parents who get in the way of that. If I ask Junior what he'd like for dinner, and he says, "The double bbq bacon cheeseburger," most likely his parents will veto that and tell him what he's allowed to have....which wastes time. In a high volume restaurant, 30 seconds means a lot.

And if a kid is more focused on his Nintendo DS than on the menu, I assume the parents will order for him. I tend to ignore people who are paying close attention to their electronic gadgets, no matter what age they are. I aim to give excellent service and my time is valuable; I figure when people are ready to engage, they will put their devices away.


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## MadiMamacita (Jan 29, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2xy* 
Actually, I've seen a large number of _adults_ use their menus as bread plates (even though they have a bread plate) before I clear the menus away.

people astound me.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2xy* 
I tend to ignore people who are paying close attention to their electronic gadgets, no matter what age they are.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

I think that restaurant hosts (they're the ones that handle the seating







) should be obligated to ask and parents should be obliged to politely answer yes or no without getting snitty about being asked.

Because I've also seen people say things like "OMG they asked if my 1 year old wanted crayons!"


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## VisionaryMom (Feb 20, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2xy* 

Napkin, yes. Spoons and forks are usually not used by the younger crowd, because they mostly order things like grilled cheese sandwiches, hot dogs, burgers, and chicken strips....all of which are finger foods.

I could order a burger or chicken strips as well, but I still get a spoon and fork. There's no logical explanation for not offering eating utensils to everyone sitting in at a table.


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## VisionaryMom (Feb 20, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lindberg99* 
What type of restaurants are these that don't give silverware to children? I really can't remember that ever happening. Sometimes they give them a different placemat (that has games on it or whatever) but there's always silverware.

We've had it happen a good bit at national chains - Applebee's and those types of places. We live in an area really devoid of locally-owned restaurants.


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## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

Maybe it's the kind of restaurants we go to (because we have four kids) but they always give them a kids menu. I guess if we frequented places that didn't have the coloring page then they might skip over the kids. I haven't had the no silverware thing, either. Maybe I don't get out much







no, actually we eat out quite a bit - though we prefer a couple local restaurants the most (and they are very nice to our kids there, which is why we keep coming back, plus good green chile).

Since someone else mentioned it, I let my kids order for themselves. Always have, always will. As soon as they could talk they were read the choices and told the waiter/waitress what they would like. When we are eating out, they can get whatever sounds good to them.

Tip-wise: I start at 20% regardless of if it just DH and I. with the kids, if they have made a mess (I try to clean up after them a bit) or were loud, or the waitress was exceptionally friendly with them, I up it to 25-30%. Going out to eat costs us a bit as it is, since we have 6 people and enjoy ordering multiple drinks -- so I figure whats XX more for a tip?


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## Tizzy (Mar 16, 2007)

I haven't read all the replies, but we have the opposite issue when we go out. They'll give both the kids menus and then expect us to order separate things for them. They are 3 and a year and a half and most restaurant portions are more than enough for DH and I to share with the kids. Add in the basket of rolls that usually comes and then we REALLY don't need to order something separate.
I don't get too annoyed though because really it is in their best interest to encourage the kids to order something of their own.


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## gcgirl (Apr 3, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
Because I've also seen people say things like "OMG they asked if my 1 year old wanted crayons!"

Damned if they do...damned if they don't, huh?

Thanks to all the servers who replied to this thread. I've never been a server, but it's a HARD job, and I don't expect perfection. I'll ask for what I need and not be snitty about it. For one thing, MY KIDS are MY RESPONSIBILITY.


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## 2xy (Nov 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gcgirl* 
Thanks to all the servers who replied to this thread. I've never been a server, but it's a HARD job, and I don't expect perfection. I'll ask for what I need and not be snitty about it. For one thing, MY KIDS are MY RESPONSIBILITY.

Thank you! You know what? I did six years in the armed forces, and waiting tables is way more draining and stressful (mentally) than what I experienced in the Navy.

Lots of people who are out to eat seem to confuse the word "server" with the word "servant".


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## hollytheteacher (Mar 10, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *frontierpsych* 
I have had some weird experiences in this regard too. When DS was a newborn I'd wear him in the sling, and still usually get asked if we needed a high chair or a booster seat. Um, no, my baby can not sit up! lol! He's also been brought a kids menu at most places since a few months old. He is 16 months now and just starting to get the hang of coloring, though he still sometimes tries to eat the crayons.









Yeah when my ds was four WEEKS (yep weeks) old they asked me if i needed a kid menu HAHAHAHAH

I said nope, I'm all the food he needs....the waitress looked VERY confused LOL


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## Lovin' It (Jun 7, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *limabean* 
Yeah, I've had all of the above happen at least once.

Now I tend to say something like, "Hi, 4 for lunch, including 1 high chair and 2 kids' menus" or, when getting a table when we're meeting friends for dinner, "Hi, 9 for dinner, including 1 high chair, 1 booster seat, and 5 kids' menus."

I figure if I give them all the pertinent info up front they won't have to try to determine which kids are old enough for high chairs/booster seats/chairs, and which ones wants kids' vs. regular menus.

Way to be pro-active! I think that just by reading this thread people can see why servers behave the way they do. Every family has different needs. I usually have this intention of communication when I go out and then my mommy-brain takes over and I look around and realize after the server leaves that we don't have everything we need.








My most common issue is not getting a place setting for my dd, I seemed to always get asked if she wants a menu.


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

It would never occure to me to give a preschooler an adult menu. they are not toys or board books. they are menus. and they are not sanitary. (yuck. i had never even thought about that until this thread.) They usually ask my two older kids if they want an adult menu or kids menu. they usually take the kids menu because they like to doodle and share an adult menu. we only need so many giant folders at our table knocking crap over.

as for place settings. I have never ever had this problem. at the very least they ask. forks and knives are dangerous in the hands of some kids. some parents would be peeved if they were just sitting on the table. but we also don't always have all the silverware we need when it is just adults. there is A LOT of stuff on a resteraunt table.


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Drummer's Wife* 

Tip-wise: I start at 20% regardless of if it just DH and I. with the kids, if they have made a mess (I try to clean up after them a bit) or were loud, or the waitress was exceptionally friendly with them, I up it to 25-30%. Going out to eat costs us a bit as it is, since we have 6 people and enjoy ordering multiple drinks -- so I figure whats XX more for a tip?

Any place I have ever worked the busser cleaned up the mess while the server kept the tip. So if you are tipping extra on account of the mess you should tip the busser directly. I have worked as a busser, hostess and server and it was not unusual for people to tip me directly. the waitresses usually tipped out but it was never more than 10% split between us and depending on where I worked the busser or hostess may not have both been tipped. I got more tips as a hostess but worked much harder bussing tables.

also lots of people have mentioned menus and place settings etc. as a general rule neither of these is the servers job, at least not always. sometimes it is the hostesses job (ok it is always the hostesses job to accomodate even if the busser sets the table) sometimes it is the busser. I think a lot of times in bigger places no one knows who is getting what.


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## KimberlyD0 (Mar 8, 2009)

I was also a server and I want to be sure I have it all strait.. these are things parents complained about (I didn't have kids then)

1) they didn't offer a kids menu or crayons
2) they offered my suck and suck age a menu and crayons
3) they offered my child an adult menu
4) they didn't offer a menu
5) they offered a highchair/buster seat
6) they didn't offer a highchair/buster seat
7) they gave my child and ADULT fork (never mind that we only had one size)
8) they didn't bring the right utencil
9) they brought the kids meals earlier
10) they didn't bring the meals soon enough for the kids
11) they ignored my kids
12) they talked to the kids (I actually got in a lot of trouble for this one time when a kid about 4 was really upset. He's dropped something so I went and helped him pick it up and comforted him, apparently mom didn't like that)

do you see a theme forming here?? The server just can't win..

When I do go out I ask for a kids menu and crayons for both, a highchair for one, buster for the other, DD#1 usually orders herself, but not always, DD#2 is just now getting her own meals. I also bring smaller utensils and plastic plates for the girls. Less risk of them being broken.
Makes the servers job just a little easier, and knowing the crap they put up with its the least I could do.

I have had some excellent experiences. When DD#2 was small I was asked if I wanted a booth when they noticed I was having trouble BF her, I jumped on the chance as it was much more comfortable, although it was right by a window LOL. When DD#2 was smaller and only ate small amounts many places would give me veggies, shredded cheese, and mashed potato's free.







they said it wasn't worth chargeing cause she really wasn't eating much and it made her, and me happy.


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## 2xy (Nov 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lilyka* 
Any place I have ever worked the busser cleaned up the mess while the server kept the tip. So if you are tipping extra on account of the mess you should tip the busser directly. I have worked as a busser, hostess and server and it was not unusual for people to tip me directly. the waitresses usually tipped out but it was never more than 10% split between us and depending on where I worked the busser or hostess may not have both been tipped. I got more tips as a hostess but worked much harder bussing tables.

I agree that it's usually the busser who cleans up the extra mess. However, all restaurants do things differently. Bussers where I work are pretty much invisible until the party leaves (meaning, the server does all the maintaining of the table, including wrapping food, clearing dishes, and filling drinks). So the guests wouldn't necessarily even know who the busser in that section might be. At other restaurants I've worked at, bussers cleaned and reset tables, but also worked alongside the servers during service. And yes, they received tips directly from customers on occasion. Not so much at where I work presently.

We are required to tip our busser 2.25% of our shift's sales. That's usually more than 10% of a server's tips, and the busser keeps it for him/herself. Most of the servers tip at least 2.5%, and often 3% or more if the busser helps during service. I work for a big company and a lot of the bussers have served at some point, but prefer to bus...they average about the same money as the servers and don't have to deal with customers as much.

Also, I've never seen anyone tip a host/hostess. Anywhere. And I've worked at upscale places, too. It would never occur to me to do so, really. What would you tip the desk for? Oh, actually....at one place the hostess also checked coats, so she got tips.

*KimberlyD0*, I agree that the servers often just can't win. All I can do is try my best and hope that people don't expect me to be a mind-reader. The way I care for and raise my children is not going to be identical to what others do, and we all have different wants and expectations.


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2xy* 
Also, I've never seen anyone tip a host/hostess. Anywhere. And I've worked at upscale places, too. It would never occur to me to do so, really. What would you tip the desk for? Oh, actually....at one place the hostess also checked coats, so she got tips.
.


I was a really good hostess









it was a really small place. so I did the seating, and also I would get them settled in with drinks. if drinks were all they got they would just tip me. The regulars would often tip me as much as their drink. Also if they sat for a long time after their meal was done they would tip the server for serving and then tip me for taking care of thier drinks and such while they sat. People were always asking me for tourist tips and stuff and would tip me individually if I spent a bit of time giving them directions, suggestions etc (not that I had much of a clue. I had only been there a couple weeks longer than most of them). But people tip me a lot. even for stupid things like ringing up their groceries (hello, I was a cashier) and finding something on the shelf for them ( I was shelf stocker). I don't know if I have some sort of look of desperation about me or what.....but the hostess position was pretty sweet and a better resteraunt job than any other I have ever worked. I got paid a full wage, 40 hours plus 5 hours of overtime a week, plus my tips, plus 5% of each of the servers tips. I don't think I have ever made that much money since and I was only 17 then....and everyone in the world was happy to be there so cranky customers were rare. it was a sweet job.


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## 2xy (Nov 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lilyka* 
it was a really small place. so I did the seating, and also I would get them settled in with drinks. if drinks were all they got they would just tip me.<snip>I got paid a full wage, 40 hours plus 5 hours of overtime a week, plus my tips, plus 5% of each of the servers tips. I don't think I have ever made that much money since and I was only 17 then....and everyone in the world was happy to be there so cranky customers were rare. it was a sweet job.

Man, at every place I've worked, the servers wouldn't have liked you at all! I'm making $2.89/hr plus tips, and you're going to steal half of the check total by bringing drinks over? lol


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## ~Boudicca~ (Sep 7, 2005)

This thread makes me really glad I don't wait tables anymore. Echoing a PP, yeah, you're damned if you do something and damned if you don't. I stopped working because of a variety of childcare/logistical reasons, but the relief of not having to deal with the idiosyncrasies of an impossible to please all the time general public was the best thing that ever happened to me.

There are possibly 100,000 people dead under a hot sun in Haiti and yet people get their panties in a bundle because (quoting KimberlyD0)

1) they didn't offer a kids menu or crayons
2) they offered my suck and suck age a menu and crayons
3) they offered my child an adult menu
4) they didn't offer a menu
5) they offered a highchair/buster seat
6) they didn't offer a highchair/buster seat
7) they gave my child and ADULT fork (never mind that we only had one size)
8) they didn't bring the right utencil
9) they brought the kids meals earlier
10) they didn't bring the meals soon enough for the kids
11) they ignored my kids
12) they talked to the kids (I actually got in a lot of trouble for this one time when a kid about 4 was really upset. He's dropped something so I went and helped him pick it up and comforted him, apparently mom didn't like that)

Surely there are bigger things in life to knitpick. Off my soapbox now, flame away folks.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

I won't flame. I agree with you. Restaurant servers haven't always gotten everything we've wanted, so we've asked for it, and it's been fine. It's never occurred to me to get upet.


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2xy* 
Man, at every place I've worked, the servers wouldn't have liked you at all! I'm making $2.89/hr plus tips, and you're going to steal half of the check total by bringing drinks over? lol


typically during there day there was one waitress and at night two. they got full wages (we would go an hour or more some days without seeing a customer) plus we got paid breaks and lunches as well as $6 in free food (enough to get almost anything off the menu) Without a good hostess and busser the waitresses would likely not have been getting tipped much. we were her only support staff. And on the busiest days she could have up to 15 tables at a time.

I think it would really suck to work somewhere without such a team attitude. and who paid their staff in such a way that it became turf war. That was probably my favorite job ever.


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## choli (Jun 20, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Boudicca~* 

Surely there are bigger things in life to knitpick. Off my soapbox now, flame away folks.

I have to agree. The inability of waitstaff to psychically divine my preferences regarding childrens' menus and cutlery is not on my list of stuff to worry about. I have a mouth, I can ask for what I want.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Seriously, the only time a server has ever really bothered me was when my bff and I went for dinner, got our coffee, and the server didn't come back for 20 minutes to take our order. There was one other table occupied in the whole restaurant. She was chatting with another server across the room and wouldn't make eye contact. The rest of the service was the same. If it hadn't been our favourite restaurant, we'd have left. As it was, we left no tip and complained to management.

Other than that? If I want something done a certain way, I ask...politely. I rarely ask for anything in particular, other than my food and drink, except that my kids get their meals as soon as they're ready. But, I'm not going to expect a server to just read my mind, yk? They don't know that my kids are hell on wheels while waiting, or that they'll still finish at the same time as the rest of us, or that we're not trying to teach them to wait or something.

And, Haiti...just no words at all...


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Boudicca~* 
Surely there are bigger things in life to knitpick. Off my soapbox now, flame away folks.

No flames here, but the above could be said about every single thread on MDC -- the forums would have tumbleweeds blowing through them if we were only allowed to discuss earth-shattering matters. And in all fairness to the OP, her thread title does say, "_I know it's not a big deal_, but..." I don't think she's planning to organize an angry mob to antagonize waitstaff for not bringing a menu to the table.


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## DCMama01 (Aug 28, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Gimme Pineapple* 
I have had many jobs waiting tables. Before I got pregnant, I knew NOTHING about kids. All parents are different and the server can't be expected to know how you raise your children. Some parents feed their children off of their plate, some order from the kid's menu, some want kid's cups with water and no refills, some allow their children to have unlimited amounts of soda.

But- a server is there to SERVE the customer. They just need to be filled in on how you want things to be.

EXACTLY!!! The answers on this thread conflict, so how is your server supposed to know what you want if you don't open your mouth and ask?


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## HollyBearsMom (May 13, 2002)

Do you ask for one?


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## DCMama01 (Aug 28, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KimberlyD0* 
I was also a server and I want to be sure I have it all strait.. these are things parents complained about (I didn't have kids then)

1) they didn't offer a kids menu or crayons
2) they offered my suck and suck age a menu and crayons
3) they offered my child an adult menu
4) they didn't offer a menu
5) they offered a highchair/buster seat
6) they didn't offer a highchair/buster seat
7) they gave my child and ADULT fork (never mind that we only had one size)
8) they didn't bring the right utencil
9) they brought the kids meals earlier
10) they didn't bring the meals soon enough for the kids
11) they ignored my kids
12) they talked to the kids (I actually got in a lot of trouble for this one time when a kid about 4 was really upset. He's dropped something so I went and helped him pick it up and comforted him, apparently mom didn't like that)

do you see a theme forming here?? The server just can't win..

When I do go out I ask for a kids menu and crayons for both, a highchair for one, buster for the other, DD#1 usually orders herself, but not always, DD#2 is just now getting her own meals. I also bring smaller utensils and plastic plates for the girls. Less risk of them being broken.
Makes the servers job just a little easier, and knowing the crap they put up with its the least I could do.

I have had some excellent experiences. When DD#2 was small I was asked if I wanted a booth when they noticed I was having trouble BF her, I jumped on the chance as it was much more comfortable, although it was right by a window LOL. When DD#2 was smaller and only ate small amounts many places would give me veggies, shredded cheese, and mashed potato's free.







they said it wasn't worth chargeing cause she really wasn't eating much and it made her, and me happy.











I don't miss waiting tables at all. What's with the assumption that servers don't view children as human?? Thats ridiculous. That server might be working to support children of their own, you never know.


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## SiobhanAoife (Jun 10, 2008)

I don't mind telling the server what we need, in fact, I spent so much of my life having no idea what someone with kids would need that I just routinely assume that people don't know and need to be told, and that this is just normal.

What does vex me internally just a little is how lately I keep being asked "Just one?" or "Table for one?" when I walk in wearing my 15 month old daughter. I don't get upset, I just gesture to her and say, "Just the two of us!" but hello, she's strapped to my front, there's no way you didn't see her, and she counts, too!


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## KimberlyD0 (Mar 8, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SiobhanAoife* 
I don't mind telling the server what we need, in fact, I spent so much of my life having no idea what someone with kids would need that I just routinely assume that people don't know and need to be told, and that this is just normal.

What does vex me internally just a little is how lately I keep being asked "Just one?" or "Table for one?" when I walk in wearing my 15 month old daughter. I don't get upset, I just gesture to her and say, "Just the two of us!" but hello, she's strapped to my front, there's no way you didn't see her, and she counts, too!

Maybe they think your just going to wear her?


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## Cascadian (Jan 28, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *choli* 
I have to agree. The inability of waitstaff to psychically divine my preferences regarding childrens' menus and cutlery is not on my list of stuff to worry about. I have a mouth, I can ask for what I want.


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## ollyoxenfree (Jun 11, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SiobhanAoife* 
I don't mind telling the server what we need, in fact, I spent so much of my life having no idea what someone with kids would need that I just routinely assume that people don't know and need to be told, and that this is just normal.

What does vex me internally just a little is how lately I keep being asked "Just one?" or "Table for one?" when I walk in wearing my 15 month old daughter. I don't get upset, I just gesture to her and say, "Just the two of us!" but hello, she's strapped to my front, there's no way you didn't see her, and she counts, too!

I imagine they are simply verifying whether you only need one seat at the table. If you are wearing her when you walk in, it's within reason that you may prefer to continue to hold her. In that case, for their purposes of determining how many chairs/places at the table are needed, no she doesn't count.


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## leighann79 (Aug 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Gillian28* 
I have had the opposite experience at restaurants! I often have waiters bringing my BABY a kids menu and crayons. He's almost one now but this has been going on for months! I feel like saying "All he is going to do is eat those crayons!"







And he definitely doesn't need his own meal off the kids menu! And after they take our order they then ask if they can bring anything for him (and I can remember this happening once before he had even started solids!).

None of this bothers me of course, I just think it's funny









I had this experience last night! LOL They gave my 5 month old a kid menu and crayons.







I let him have the folded menu until it was a wet mess.








They have been trying to give me a high chair for him since he was a month old.







He still can't sit up enough to sit in one. lol

It may just be the kind of restaurants we go to, but my kids have never been left out in any way.


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## contactmaya (Feb 21, 2006)

The whole array of issue that arise from parenting, embodied on posts on mdc, i consider to be of political, social and philsophical significance. This post however, is an exception is just how trivial it is.

So waiter doesnt give kiddo a menu? Just give him one yourself if your 3 yo genius can already read.








Maya

(who routinely gives her 4yo and 1yo menus for fun, but doesnt expect the waiter to do so)


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