# 3-week-old not making eye-contact? Normal?



## lexbeach (Mar 6, 2002)

Hi Mamas of babies,

I am posting this question for a friend of mine with a 3-week-old. She called me yesterday, asking me when my boys first began making eye contact with us. I told her that they were making eye contact very soon after their birth. She said that her baby isn't making eye contact yet. He turns away from her and her husband when they try to make eye contact. He does focus on other things, and she thinks he CAN see. . . he was born 1 week early and had a peaceful home waterbirth. He was a little small, only 6 lbs., and has only gained 2 ounces (after regaining his birthweight) since then. I didn't want to sound concerned to my friend before finding out if it's normal for newborn babies to avoid eye contact.

Any thoughts?

Thanks

Lex


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## green betty (Jun 13, 2004)

TOTALLY normal... my son didn't make eye contact for several weeks. I can't remember exactly how long it was, but I was starting to look up information about autism because I was so worried! Now, just shy of 6 months, he gazes at me adoringly all day long and is a smiley, social, wonderful baby. Please tell your friend not to worry.


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## Luminosea (Nov 15, 2004)

Your friend's baby is normal, she needn't worry.


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## sandrajoon (Oct 2, 2003)

Normal, but this comment may reflect more on the mother's experience - it can be a signal that PPD may be an issue.







Maybe keep an eye on her or talk with her about that?


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## kamesennin (Jan 3, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sandrajoon*
Normal, but this comment may reflect more on the mother's experience - it can be a signal that PPD may be an issue.







Maybe keep an eye on her or talk with her about that?

Could you elaborate a little more on this? My new baby didn't make eye contact for several weeks and I was so worried about this too, but I'm pretty sure I didn't have PPD (?). I've never heard of this as a warning sign. I'd appreciate the advice!


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## BabyBumblebee (Mar 16, 2005)

at that age a baby has very limited control over the motor muscles of the eye - and objects are out of focus.

Is mama feeling 'rejected' by the babe not looking at her? Just wondered...it sounds as though she feels quite sad about it.


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## mamabeca (Oct 3, 2004)

normal. mine doesn't make a lot of contact still, at 4 mos., but when he does he's all there and can keep focused on us for minutes, so I'm not worried. He really likes looking around, now that he can focus a bit better. Yeah, we get the adoring looks, and the pleading ones when his sister is 'torturing' him with love, and the sad ones when he's tired or has dirty diapes, and yeah, even the laughing funny me ones when he pees in a rainbow across the room. My dd otoh, came out laughing and looking into everyone's eyes lots. so they're just all different. It may signal a somewhat shyer babe, 'cause I can tell my ds is WAY more cautious and shy already than my dd is/was. She's cleaver to notice, but yeah, it's normal. what a good friend!


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## sandrajoon (Oct 2, 2003)

About the possible PPD link...that can sound rather alarmist, eh?

Noticing that her baby doesn't make eye contact at this age is no big thing in and of itself, and doesn't indicate PPD is going on. But this can be a way that the mom is saying that she isn't feeling connected with her baby. I just suggested the link because often it is a good friend who notices that a woman is experienceing PPD and can help out early on. Perhaps this mom has lots of stressors in her life, is unsupported, isn't enjoying being a mother, etc...or maybe she is just noticing that her baby isn't making eye contact yet! The PPD forum probably has way more info on this is you are interested.


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## lexbeach (Mar 6, 2002)

Thanks for all the reassurance!

I will let my friend know that this is one of those things that varies from baby to baby. She didn't seem upset about it, just a little concerned, I think because she'd just been visiting with another friend's new baby who is particuarly alert and present and able to make eye-contact. I don't think she has PPD, she's been totally blissed out since her babe arrived, and has actually had a much smoother tranistion to motherhood than most mamas I know (no trouble with nursing at all!).

Thanks again!

Lex


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## mandalamama (Sep 1, 2004)

Willow didn't make eye contact until around 2 months, i was so worried that it was a bonding issue because i had a cesarean. even now at 7 months she'll go through little phases of "gaze avoidance" on some days. it turns out it's one of the signs of her reflux pain (she has GERD) and is now helpful to me knowing how she's doing!


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## XmasEve (Jun 18, 2002)

My first had horribly painful colic, and one of her pain symptoms was gaze avoidance-- still to this day. She didn't start making eye contact until 3 months, and didn't use long gazes until 5 months.


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