# How can I stop my 2 year old from destroying everything?



## cdmaze

What I mean by destroying is- mashing, dumping, pouring, ripping up everything. Making a disaster of even the simple things.
Now, I am not the kind of mom who freaks out when my kids track mud in the house, or even when they spill paint on the rug. Half the time my kids get out of the house with two different shoes and bed heads.

And this is my 3rd child... I know kids...

But for example- today alone:

She smashed every piece of a tangerine on the kitchen floor.
She smashed an entire banana into my couch (when I went to the bathroom)
She pooped in her room and mashed it all over a wooden play strollers and her body. (and shes been out of diapers since Nov.)
She used and entire bottle of Dr. Bronners on herself. (when I put her in the bath after the poop incident)

And I'm sure she will do more.

I try to keep her in sight, but its hard, and my other kids never did this.

What am I doing wrong? We already cant have any crayons or paint or glue, for obvious reasons- she refuses to paint on anything but walls or good furniture.

She'll be 3 in June. I feel like all I do all day is clean up after her. What route do I take with this behavior?


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## mama_mojo

All I have is sympathy. My third is my messiest, and I often wonder if it is a result of my more dispersed attention. But, some of it has to do with her THINKING of things to do that just never occurred to her siblings, like painting with shampoo.

Maybe they're brilliant!


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## meemee

i have only one. i am not sure what to say.

has she always been like this or is this something new?

i have noticed with my high energy dd that she got like that when she wouldnt get enough 'activity' be it physical or mental. like something challenging. esp. during growth spurt. almost like she needed increased activity too.

and i dont mean structured classes. but just letting lose on the playground - climbing, swinging, running, sliding.

ETA: ooooooooh mama mojo i just saw ur post. a big YEAH to that. my dd needs messy activity. at 3 her favourite was mixing oil, liquid soap and my liquid face makeup (i didnt use them anymore) to see what happened. at ps she would spend HOURS with a bucket of water, sand, rocks, twigs and leaves making soup. she still does it sometimes at 6. at 18 months it was water and milk or juice adn milk and any sauce that was in her food.


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## cdmaze

She seems to be getting worse- at least this week, lol.

I'm pretty laid back as a mom, but I feel like all I do is clean after her.

I dont mind her making mud soup or stuff like that AT ALL, I love to see that. But, it HAS been raining here for almost 2 weeks, it seems, so maybe she's just bored?

I let her take long baths, with lots of bowls, spoons, spray bottles, funnels, etc. Thats usually enough for her.

The food thing is frustrating because she wastes so much food by throwing it, mixing it with gross things so she cant eat it, etc. Very frustrating.


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## verde

My DD is like this as well. After she ripped up a birthday card, a friend of mine said, "well some kids are just tearers" I said, "do you mean terrors?"

Get it? Yuck, yuck yuck.









Until she grows out this challenging phase all you can do is try to anticipate and minimize the damage. Set her up with things that you can willingly sacrifice and let her go at it. Try to keep other things out of her path.

I totally understand your frustration re: food. I HATE to waste food. I ended up doling out food in little pieces and watching her like a hawk when she had it. Luckily we have a dog who's always willing to help out and hangs around just in case...

Hang in there mama. Remember that this too shall pass.

Hold onto your sense of humor. There are times when it will save your sanity.

Good luck.


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## cdmaze

Its true, I've probably gotten a little lazy in my "old age" (lol). I'm sure I just need to keep on her- keep my house picked up to minimize temptation and just try to relax.

Thanks, guys...


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## smibbo

wow, I feel ya.

No real advice other than trying to find things for her to "mess up" that you don't mind. She definitely sounds bored.

I remember once when I was moving into a new place and my third son was going crazy with "nothing to do". He found a box of baking soda (I buy the econo-size for laundry) and had stuck his hands in it and was flinging it all over. I started to feel frustrated (I was moving boxes all day and here he was making a mess) but it occurred to me that baking soda was easy to clean up. So I grabbed a baking sheet pan and poured half the box out into it then set him in the kitchen corner to play. He had a grand time and I could keep an eye on him while still moving boxes.

Can't always have wonderful solutions like that, but sometimes an idea will pop up. Try to grab them when you can!

(about the poop incident? I'd make her clean it up with you)


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## dantesmama

My 3yo did this all. the. time. He seems to seek out any kind of sensory activity he can, especially when he's left unsupervised for a few minutes (if I'm in the bathroom, or getting laundry from the basement, or putting my 18mo down for a nap). I can't tell you how many times I've come back from doing something for just 2 minutes, and he's already cracked a dozen eggs all over the floor, or pulled the coffee, sugar, flour, or cat litter out and dumped it everywhere. It's exasperating. When I finally realized that all of this was sensory-seeking behavior - I mean, he's almost 3.5, he KNOWS this stuff is not okay and doesn't make me happy - I started going out of my way to provide him with those kinds of activities. I keep rice, beans, pasta, etc for him to play with. I bought him two big tubs of moon sand for him to dig in and run his cars and trucks through (which will keep him happy for at least an hour straight). We do more baths. We always keep playdoh and fingerpaints in the house. I keep extra tape around for him to unroll and stick wherever. I take him outside and let him dig around in the mud. And I put "temptations" up as high and inaccessible as possible. Since I've been doing this, the "destructiveness" has gone down so much.


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## library lady

Number one thing to do is be patient. Another way I deal with it is to just let her be. As long as what she is doing is not dangerous, I let it go. We have cleaning supplies such as towels and the vacuum on standby because we never know when she is going to create another disaster.

My almost 2 yo is quite challenging. She is my third child and she is doing things that her sisters never ever did. She is a climber so it is difficult to keep things away from her so we have to be super careful about what is on the counters or anywhere else. She is constantly pouring, tearing, smashing, and making whatever kind of mess she can make. She drives her big sisters crazy. Extra baths don't always work because she likes to see the water on the floor rather than in the tub. I could go on and on about the things she does. It wouldn't be so bad but she is so quick.


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## OkiMom

My two year old can destroy a room faster than anyone could clean it. This weekend I wasn't feeling well so DH tried to take care of her. In the two minutes he came back to the bedroom to check on me and change the baby's diaper she:
-climbed up onto a chair and then onto the china hutch to get her markers down
- drew with her markers all over her write board, chalk board, and my couches
- took a pen and wrote all over the couches
- got into the fridge and slipped half a gallon of milk and broke a dozen eggs
- tore a trash bag open and spread it all over the front room..

I haven't figured out what to do to stop her so I just don't leave her alone.. ever.. which is so boring for her when she has to sit in the bedroom while I put down the baby for a nap.


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## cdmaze

oh, these stories and suggestions are good to hear!

I know I need to let it go, relax, grow some patience...and try to do some deep cleaning....


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## dantesmama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *OkiMom* 
My two year old can destroy a room faster than anyone could clean it. This weekend I wasn't feeling well so DH tried to take care of her. In the two minutes he came back to the bedroom to check on me and change the baby's diaper she:
-climbed up onto a chair and then onto the china hutch to get her markers down
- drew with her markers all over her write board, chalk board, and my couches
- took a pen and wrote all over the couches
- got into the fridge and slipped half a gallon of milk and broke a dozen eggs
- tore a trash bag open and spread it all over the front room..

I haven't figured out what to do to stop her so I just don't leave her alone.. ever.. which is so boring for her when she has to sit in the bedroom while I put down the baby for a nap.

OMG! Our kids must be kindred spirits!


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## foreverinbluejeans

Straight jacket time!

Just kidding.

I am the mother of three boys and know how hectic life can be. My third was known for running around naked a lot. You may be trying to do too many activities and need to simplify your family life.

We homeschooled and I was a single mom. At any one time my kids could each play one sport and be in scouts. We had several nights that we had certain things like spagetti for dinner. There might be things like this that work for your family.

If you can afford it hire someone to help you with your housework. If you hired someone from a LLL group or other moms group you could tell her she could bring her nursing baby. You would be doing a great thing for her and not have to feel bad about how bad your house is, a win-win situation. When I was a single mom I baby sat (very) rich people's kids with special needs and got paid well and didn't have to feel bad taking the money (similar situation).


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## smibbo

I would give one mild disagreement: sometimes you can't "let it go"

there is the fact that if you let too much go, you will end up in a vicious cycle: LO will be running ahead of you making messes while you are busy cleaning up the last mess. And face it, who really signed up to be the 24/7 janitor? It's easy to say "let it go" when you aren't the one constatnly cleaning up the mess. We have carpet on our floors - I can't afford to let my daughter mess it up with sticky things or crumbs. I want to do more with my child than clean up after her!

That's why I say you need to focus on finding activities that are acceptable. Then perhaps you can join in or watch while sitting down rather than coming up from behind with a mop and broom.


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## crazydiamond

Can I ask how long your child has had this behavior? Because my DS is 11 mos and has done this sort of thing for as long as he's been able. He crawled at 4 mos, so it's been going on for a while.

He's not quite as sophisticated as your 2 year old, but he destroys everything within his reach. Because of his age, this isn't a discipline issue, I know. But I just wanted to comment on how challenging this is. My first, a girl, is nothing like this. I don't know if it's because he's a boy or if its his personality, but either way, it makes my life very challenging. He's not even a year and I dread what the future brings. He is extremely active so maybe he's just not getting enough stimulation?


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## Shami

No time to read every post, so sorry if I am repeating someone.

I noticed all those things you mentioned had to do with smashing a certain type of texture...banana, tangerine, poop.

I might try doing purposeful mashing of things with similar textures, like, oh about EVERYDAY until she gets it out of her system.

I might even buy a bunch of bananas and let her mash away in an area that is acceptable to you.

I used to mash bread into dough balls as a kid, great fun.

Your daughter may be very artistic with the right materials.


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## amis2girls

subbing...

My youngest just turned three and this fits her perfectly. I'm also exhausted.


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## ShyDaisi

My son will be 2 in a couple of weeks and is exhausting me to no end! I can't get the most simple tasks completed without SOMEthing being destroyed!

Paper torn or balled up; food thrown, mashed, ground into the floor; water spilled, poured, flung, splashed; clothes or towels dragged and strewn about; diapers, wipes, baggies, etc. pulled out one by one; diaper taken off just to pee on the couch (yet resists PLing); climbing on chairs, tables, boxes, dishwasher door, entertainment center, etc....

There is more but just writing about it exhausts me! I am noting the previous suggestions, but would love to hear of any additional activity recommendations, especially for a young 2 year old.


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## churndash

Where did she get the fruit that she smashed on the floor and couch?

I would put as many messy things as possible out of reach. If you give her fruit for a snack, set it at the kitchen table and sit with her while she eats it so you can correct her if she smashes it instead "food is for eating, not smashing".

Then show her the things she can mash, smash and destroy. Play with playdough, sand, birdseed, water table, clay, whipped cream (shaving cream if you think she won't eat it).

Things like shampoo, bubble bath - these should also be put out of reach so that she won't dump them in the bath.

If she paints walls and furniture, take the paint outside. Give her a piece of MDF or plywood to paint on. Or sidewalk chalk so she can draw on the driveway.

You will have to do a lot of reminding and correcting: "Paint here, not here" but I find that a great majority of parenting is reminding (or as I call it, nagging).

I don't think it is in opposition to GD to tell a child that certain behaviors are simply not acceptable, such as playing with one's feces or destroying the family home.


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