# What can I say?



## ekblad9 (Nov 21, 2001)

Last week at this time I was so excited to be pregnant with my sixth child. A few days later I miscarried. The weird thing about a miscarriage, especially early on, is that life just kind of goes on. There's no time between running the kids here and there, homeschooling, and the everyday stuff to just sit and reflect. My heart is broken inside yet I cannot seem to express it to even my dh. I feel such a sense of loss. I guess I just needed to get that out with people that understand.


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## Ravenmoon (Mar 2, 2002)

I'm sorry.Especially with early miscarriages there is no healing period.But there should be.Take time to center yourself and talk about the baby with someone.You need to releae your emotions about this so that you can remain healthy.I know with my miscarriage at 4 weeks i felt so insanely sad that i tried for another baby right away even though we really didn't need another kid.I never even got my next period before getting pregnant.I had to fill that void.Hugs


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## ekblad9 (Nov 21, 2001)

Thanks for the kind words. It's so hard because we weren't "trying" to have a baby so everyone kind of assumes we didn't "want" it. KWIM? And also we already have five kids so somehow people assume losing one isn't a big deal. I know it probably does make it easier that we do have other children but I still feel a great sense of loss.


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## SamuraiEarthMama (Dec 3, 2002)

oh, ekblad7, i'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved baby.

one of the best things about homeschooling is the flexibility. please let your homeschooling community know you need help now! ask if your kids can do a couple of playdates next week, or even an overnighter. take the time to sit and reflect with dh, and really connect over this loss. it sounds like your heart is craving this now... listen to yourself!

think of all the people you've helped in your community. now is the time to ask for help yourself.

take care, and i wish you a gentle and peaceful healing,

katje


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## Arduinna (May 30, 2002)

I am so very sorry for your loss. ((HUGS))


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## mama2m&m (Nov 19, 2001)

: i'm so sorry.


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## mamacrab (Sep 2, 2002)

I am so sorry for your loss.







I know your heart is breaking right now, and I will be thinking of you.


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## JessicaS (Nov 18, 2001)

I really want to emphasize how important it is for you to take a little time for yourself right now. You really need a chance to grieve and reflect. If your dh can't stay with the children for some reason find someone who can.

I know you are incredibly busy but you just have to **STOP!!** a moment before you end up with a nice case of depression.































I am so sorry for your loss. I know how heartbroken you are. Just try and get yourself some time to yourself.


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## XM (Apr 16, 2002)

Amy, I am so sorry. Please give yourself space to grieve. I'm sorry people are making hurtful assumptions about your loss.


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## Katana (Nov 16, 2002)

I can so relate to what you wrote. All of my losses have been between 6-7 weeks, and it's just enough time to think, EEE! I'm pregnant, and then get the joy snatched away, so soon after.

And, I've been there, each time, with the, well, this wasn't a planned baby, you lost it so early, you really are in no position to have a baby right now














.

I'm so sorry.

I'm also adding a wish that you find some time to grieve. Even if it's only for a couple of seconds, it's something.


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## Ms. Mom (Nov 18, 2001)

Amy







you know I understand and care. You lost a part of yourself. No, this life was not planned and the timing was not right. That dosn't mean you didn't have love in your heart or a desire to be this childs mother. When you look at your children you know how unique and precious each one is. This baby was as well.

DD was a twin and when I found out I had lost one, everyone around me told me how great it was that I wouldn't have two - like that was some sort of curse. Even today, people do a "can you imagine TWO of her?" Well, yes, I can and it makes me sad.

You're at home all day with the kids running around, cooking cleaning educating. You need to take the time out for a good cry, or just a moment to yourself. Go to a book store and wander about. Have your mom take the kids for a few hours so you can soak in the tub with some lavander and hot tea. Whatever you need to do.

Both your body and your spirit have gone through this and you need to take care of yourself.

Call me if you need me - please! We can go for tea and have a good cry. PM or email me if you lost my cell number.


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## Mom4tot (Apr 18, 2003)

I am so sorry Ekblad









It doesn't matter how long you were pregnant for, or how many children you have...you are still sad and need some tlc. I know what it is like to have an early loss, and some people did say the strangest things to ease there own discomfort. Talk to people who care about you, spend some time with your dh. I also wrote a couple of poems, or letters to the baby while I was grieving. I'm sorry.


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## mamabutterfly (Jun 23, 2002)

(((( amy ))))

What sad news.







I am so sorry for your loss... of course your heart cannot be told what it shouldn't feel because of this or that circumstance. Grief is always an intensely personal process, unique for each person.

As the others said, I hope you find ways to nurture yourself in this time.









mb


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

Losing an unplanned baby has got to be just as hard as losing a planned one. We've lost 2 unplanned babies but that in no way means they were happy loses.

I'm sorry for your loss. Do talk about your lost one. I talk about mine all the time even though the losses were early, 4-7 weeks.

Take care of yourself.


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## Lucky Charm (Nov 8, 2002)

I'm sorry


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## ekblad9 (Nov 21, 2001)

I ordered the Natural Birth book by Peggy O'Mara when I first found out I was pg. It came yesterday and I can't even bring myself to open it. My four older kids are gone tonight at grandma's and this is the first time I've had to really sit and think. I'm dieing inside. I'm so sad.


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## Mom4tot (Apr 18, 2003)

I'm so sorry Ekblad







so sorry.

I will be by here tonight if you want to talk.

Love and peace to you.


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## shannon0218 (Oct 10, 2003)

So sorry Ekblad.


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## MirandaW (Apr 22, 2002)

I just wanted to offer my sympathy. I lost an early pregnancy about a year ago, and while I wasn't looking to grow my family, it was such a hard process on me. I hope things are getting a little easier this week.








s


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## Faith (Nov 14, 2002)

ekblad3,

I just wanted to offer more







s.

I am on this forum today becasue yesterday should have been my due date with my third baby, but I lost him at 12 weeks.

I know exactly what you mean, about people saying the wrong things and life just going on...

It does get better. I will say a prayer for you.


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## ekblad9 (Nov 21, 2001)

Everyone has been so kind and loving here. It has helped tremendously.


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