# 4 y/o DD is OBSESSED with my Breasts!



## MandyB (Oct 9, 2006)

Okay, so at first I thought it was just a little phase she was going through and could laugh about it. Now, I'm becoming so frustrated with her and I feel bad for being so impatient about it.

About three months ago, my 4 year old daughter suddenly became obsessed with breasts. She has recently become very self aware of her own girl parts, my breasts, and birth in general (since I'm pregnant and we're very open about birth here and how it all works) I had let her watch a couple of nice homebirth videos (one of them was the birth of her sister) and she was really into it all. There weren't any boob shots, but she got the whole "baby comes out of the vagina" part of it.

Anyway, the boob thing.... she is CONSTANTLY wanting to touch my breasts, feel them, and once in awhile give them a little kiss (with my shirt on) while we're snuggling in the chair or wherever. I cannot take a nap without her seeing the opportunity to come up on the bed with me and cop a feel. If I just laid there, she would stay there for a long time just feeling them and squishing them or whatever. Seriously, she knows all about breasts and that mommy will be using them to feed the new baby (I breastfed her for 2 1/2 years and her sister for almost 2 years so this is not new to her) etc. She just wants to feel them, and I am not a prude but it is annoying and uncomfortable to say the least.

I have explained that they are "My boobies" and that it makes me feel uncomfortable when she tries to touch them without my permission. I ask her nicely not to touch them, and I've gotten to the point where I'm just so frustrated that I have to actually get upset with her and even then she just laughs or gets mad about it.

This has been going on for about 2 or 3 months now. Anyone else ever gone through this? What did you do? I know she's just curious, but sheesh, I've only got 10 more weeks until the baby arrives and I want my breasts to be MINE until then!


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## Ivan's Mom (Jul 10, 2006)

Going through the same thing with 4 year old Ivan. It is so frustrating. He weaned at 2 years two days and is now obsessed and asks for milky. I get creeped out and mad. STOP RUBBING ME!!!!!!!!!!!! No advise, in fact I need some too.


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## MandyB (Oct 9, 2006)

Well thanks for responding! At least I know I'm not the only one with a boob obsesser! Ellie doesn't actually want to nurse, she just wants to play around with them because they're so interesting and funny I guess. Ugh!


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## MandyB (Oct 9, 2006)

Maybe I AM the only one to ever have a child obsessed like this? Nobody has any other suggestions for me? I feel like I'm at my wits end with her. How can I get her to respect these boundries? I feel like I've done everything I can to show her and I don't want her to think it would be okay for someone to touch her if it makes her feel uncomfortable in the future either, kwim?


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## jillmamma (Apr 11, 2005)

I am going through this with BOTH of mine (6.5 and almost 4). The older one weaned at 4.5, and the little one is still nursing for a few seconds before bed (no milk in there as far as I can tell). During the day, I just tell them that mommy does not like that, but I would love to have a hug instead. If they are sitting next to me on the couch and persist, sometimes I actually have to get up and do something else so they can't reach. It gets annoying sometimes, but I really don't know what else to do other than redirect and gently tell them that if someone says they don't like that kind of touch, they need to stop. So more sympathy, but no real advice other than what I am sure you are already doing too!


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MandyB* 
*Maybe I AM the only one to ever have a child obsessed like this? Nobody has any other suggestions for me?* I feel like I'm at my wits end with her. How can I get her to respect these boundries? I feel like I've done everything I can to show her and I don't want her to think it would be okay for someone to touch her if it makes her feel uncomfortable in the future either, kwim?

No, you're not the only one, I have seen multiple moms here at MDC complain of the same thing.

She WILL quit sometime. However, do not feel bad for being impatient. Irritated and angry is the logical response here. Getting angry with her, taking her hands off your body, holding her hands and talking to her firmly while looking her in the eye might get her to stop. It might not, but in the mean time, YOU need to know that it's OK, it's reasonable to be angry about this.

And you are right to think long term about this, about how _she's_ going to protect _her_ body. At the age of four she may not have good impulse control, so that she continues to bug you even when she sees she's made you angry. Laughing about it might be her nervous reaction to your anger. But if you respond firmly each and every time she will be absorbing the message that there are personal boundaries that should not be crossed. You are reinforcing the message.


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## jeliphish (Jul 18, 2007)

I am in the same boat..... I am consistant, and firm, and offer alternatives. She has grown a liking to my moles and rubs them like she is "tweaking" a nipple.







(There is one on my back that she asks to rub constantly and I swear she has made it bigger). She has also developed a fetish of sorts for playing with my fingernails. I think at this age they just need a comforting ritual. And it seems as if almost all of our LOs were weaned about 2.5.


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## naismama (Oct 28, 2005)

Ugh! Same thing over here. DD just turned four and she is obsessed with my breasts. She weaned at 3.25, and her 1.5yo brother still nurses. I think she misses nursing. She loves to squeeze my breasts and tell me how soft







and delicious they are. She even makes this slurping sound wth her mouth after she says delicious. I just talk to her about personal boundaries and privacy. It's annoying, but I deal with it. If you are pregnant, though, I imagine it is irritating on a whole 'nother LEVEL, and I feel for you. This is mostly just to say you are not alone.









naismama


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