# "thats not very far along"



## starfairy (Apr 3, 2003)

this is what the woman in the herb shoppe said to me as I looked for some herbs to take. We just found out our baby has died. (which I am very upset over as I had decided to get ob care for the first half of preg. I have low progesterone, have had 7 losses before this. I took progesterone for my youngest & was too scared to go off it for longer in the preg. This time I listen when the Dr said it was okay to go off since I was in my second trimeser. 2 days later my baby died. Dr finally admitted that it *is* possible the placenta didnt take over progesterone yet. I am so upset! Had I even known it was possible I never would have gone off it!)

Not that very far along....just days prior dh & I had been laying on the couch feeling baby move. He could feel the babe kick! When babe is born we will be able to see if we would have had a son or daughter.... but no big deal says the ever-so-compassionate woman at the herb shoppe...... sometimes people should just shut up & either just say sorry or say NOTHING!

I've been pregnant 13 times! I have 4 children!


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## fullofhope (Apr 21, 2003)

I am so sorry! I can't even imagine the the anger and hurt your must feel. And guilt- but you were doing what you thought was best, based on your dr's expertise. It's not your fault! That dr has gotten too cocky, playing with probability when you have the history you do!!!







And then that insensitive







! I'm so sorry you have had to go through this. You are a very strong person inside- my prayers are with you.

janel


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## KatherineinCA (Apr 4, 2002)

Oh, starfairy, I'm so sorry she said that to you. Where's that health food store? I want to call that woman up and scream at her!!

And I'm so very, deeply sorry about your baby.

Wishing you love and comfort,

Katherine


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## karenpl (Dec 18, 2001)

{{{{{{{{ Starfairy }}}}}}}}}

What an insensitive thing to say! You were pretty far along, and even if you hadn't been, it still would not be a good thing to say!

So sorry for the loss of your baby. Please keep us posted on how you are doing.

Karen (who has been pg 16 times now, with 6 kids, all those m/c suck!!!)


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## turquoise (Oct 30, 2002)

I think "I'm so sorry" is the only acceptable response from a stranger. What was this chick thinking? GRRRRR

RANT: Unfortunately, I think most folk don't consider it a baby until they can see it's a baby. Sooooo not fair to the greiving mom. To us it was a baby from conception. The minute you see the positive on the test you know there's a little life in there and you're a mom again. Who cares how old or young the life was? It was life, potential, love and now lost.

I'm so sorry for your loss! Please take care of yourself.


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## JessicaS (Nov 18, 2001)

I am so sorry.

I don't know what I would have done regarding the Dr. It is just too shocking to hear he would be so irresponsible and reckless when you have experienced so much pain and grief already.

I am afraid violence would have been involved.

I am really having a hard time coming up with a response. Your Drs words are just very disturbing to me. I can't understand how he made such a recommendation..

I am really incredibly sorry...


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## eleni (Mar 10, 2002)

i lost my baby a week ago . i started spotting at 11wks .,but knew something was not right at 7 wks my inner voice told me but know body would hear it .i was put on bed rest and then set back to the doctor week later . to make a long story short went to the doctor on thursday to comfirm the baby had died he wanted me to wait till the fallowing tuesday for a d and c , hb thought he was nuts . my water ending up breaking on saturday morning and was having a mc buy 5 pm , but i was truly in labor these were not bad cramps , i have a son who is 4yr old i delivered natural birth with him . i know the differents !! it took hours to get in touch with the doctor . i went to the er that eveing she gave me a D AND C after i mc . iam so sad , my heart as never been so dark . my 4yr old is helping me get threw it he is so wise and strong , he wanting this baby as much or more then we did. they say we can try again in a few months but iam scared







. it had taken us 9months to get pregnant with this one . my sweet baby i miss my belly and her spirit everyday . i think iam still a bit in disbief .
love and light
mommy of joseph and 12wks


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## KatherineinCA (Apr 4, 2002)

Eleni,

I'm so sorry about your baby.

Much love to you,
Katherine


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## eleni (Mar 10, 2002)

kathrine ,







thank you very much for the support . i read your loss on another thread , i guess the saddness never really goes away . all my blessing and love and light to you and your family









mommy to 4yr old joseph







and 12wk


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## eleni (Mar 10, 2002)

Quote:

_Originally posted by eleni_
*kathrine ,







thank you very much for the support . i read your loss on another thread , i guess the saddness never really goes away . all my blessing and love and light to you and your family









mommy to 4yr old joseph







and 12wk







*

Quote:

woman standing strong together


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## XM (Apr 16, 2002)

The 'not very far along' comment is a crock of sh*t, especially when it is used to dismiss a mother's grief. If you wanted that child, then the baby was already *very* real to you. When you lose a pregnancy, you lose the dreams you had for that child, you lose the life you had planned to share with that child... I have said it before, greif cannot be quantified. And just because you lost a baby early in the pregnancy does not make your loss, and your grief, any less valid.

Hugs to you both, mamas.

XM


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