# Breastfeeding In Front of Other People's Children



## tea4tamara (Jul 9, 2007)

I recently stayed with family who have a six year old son who had never been told about breastfeeding. It was kind of awkward -- I'd tell him I had to feed the baby, and he'd be confused as to why I'd sit with her at the couch rather than feed her cereal at the table. I felt it was the parents job to explain breastfeeding, but I think they just ignored the whole issue. I felt bad for the poor kid, he eventually figured out that something was going on but wasn't sure what exactly.

What would you do? Do you explain breastfeeding to other people's kids? Or do you leave that to the parents? How do you handle this situation?


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## Ziggysmama (Dec 26, 2007)

I honestly don't hesitate to state plainly "The baby is having milk from his mummys breasts" or something to that effect.
I find the kids are usually interested for about a minute then go about their normal lives...








I don't think that breastfeeding is a huge 'issue' that needs to be handled by the parents only. Its normal and natural. Sorry you felt uncomfortable though.


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## LifeIZBeautiful (Jan 28, 2007)

I was just asked today by a 4 year old what my dd was doing while she was across my lap and my shirtwas up. I tol;d her she was thirsty. The little girl said, "Why, you got water in there??"


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## mamajama (Oct 12, 2002)

I loved it when kids asked.







My kids ask women too when they are near breastfeeding. And it's not for lack of nursing on my part! They just need things explained over and over and over and over and over again.


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## Fujiko (Nov 11, 2006)

I've bf'ed around my 5 yo nieces. They were thoroughly confused! But I just said that my dd drinks the milk that my body makes, like puppies from their mommy or like calves from a cow. Then I explained that the milk we drink every day comes from cows, and baby milk comes from mommies. I also added somewhere in there that some babies are fed from bottles and some are fed from boobies. (I think they only have experience with formula/bottles.)

I was comfortable explaining it, because they're family and I didn't worry about their parents being the uppity-types that get their panties in a bunch about bf'ing. If it were people I didn't know well, I'd probably just do a one-sentence, strait forward explanation.


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## Inspired007 (Aug 25, 2006)

I do it all the time. It's not my fault if they don't understand it or have never seen it before. I am hoping that by seeing more people in society do it in public that it normalizes it for them. This past weekend, my church had a Sunday School picnic at the park. I was nursing dd at one of the benches. I make sure to be discreet but I don't cover. One of my little friends, who is 4, came over and started playing with dd's face. I said "Not now dear, she's eating". She looked at me funny and then looked back at dd and said "How's she eating?" to which I replied "she's getting milk from me". She just swiveled on her heels and ran away. I have no idea if any of that made sense to her or not but she's now been exposed. That's more exposure than I ever had!


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## jenniepaige (Apr 17, 2007)

oh yea I have no problem and have said that baby's eat from their mothers breasts. most kids have seen it before anyhow. if they are used to bottle fed kids then I say that some baby's eat from their mothers, that's how they get milk.


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## FoxintheSnow (May 11, 2004)

I dont know but I had something similar happen. Well not quite. My friend's 7 year old son has seen breastfeeding plenty. His mom breastfed his younger sister for 3 years and we've had various friends breastfeed around him. Last time I was at our house it seemed like everytime I nursed dd he was around me. It kinda made me uncomfortable like he was just trying to get a peek at my breasts.


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## sept15lija (Jun 21, 2008)

My 6 year old and 4 year old nieces were both breastfed until a year. Whenever they see me BF'ing my son, they always want to come and have a peek. I really don't mind and explain every time that babies eat from mommy's breast, the same as they were fed when they were babies. I find kids very naturally interested in breastfeeding, and it doesn't bother me when they come up to see what I am doing and I like to think I am helping a little bit to normalize it for the next generation!!







(and I plan on making extended BF'ing a little more normal too...although that might be a job with my family)


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## guest9921 (Nov 3, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jokerama* 
I dont know but I had something similar happen. Well not quite. My friend's 7 year old son has seen breastfeeding plenty. His mom breastfed his younger sister for 3 years and we've had various friends breastfeed around him. Last time I was at our house it seemed like everytime I nursed dd he was around me. It kinda made me uncomfortable like he was just trying to get a peek at my breasts.

Its been my experience that a lot of preschool kids are very curious about it, and tend to get into Mamas bubble.
I try my best to be as comfortable with it as possible, wanting them to walk away thinking its a very normal, natural, and positive thing.

My go to line is, "He's nursing and getting milk from me. This is how he eats. Have you ever seen a puppy drink milk? Or a kitten? Yep. We're mammals, and we make milk too."

I've been around a few acquaintances children, whom were formula fed from birth, and I always try to use neutral language. As in "this is how he eats," instead of "this is how babies eat." If I know the parents aren't BF supporting.
That way, they don't lash back and maybe add negative commentary to the children, as they would feel I was making a judgment of their situation. And I never am.


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## listipton (Jun 26, 2008)

I breastfed my dd in front of ALL my nieces, nephews and cousins at one time or another.. even though some of them had been exposed to breastfeeding, they were all curious and asked questions. I felt a little odd at first, but I chose to use the simplest and most direct answers for their questions..ie- dd is getting milk from my breasts just like some babies get milk from bottles. Usually, that was enough. My cousin did laugh when her girls asked her about it later (she had breastfed them both) b/c they asked if her boobs could do that too and would theirs do "that" when they were grown up...


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## birdie22 (Apr 1, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Katfka* 
Its been my experience that a lot of preschool kids are very curious about it, and tend to get into Mamas bubble.

My friend's 4 yo daughter wanted to help hold my breast while I latched ds on.







Uhhh... no thanks sweetie!

BTW, her mom is grossed out by bf, so I thought it was hilarious that the little girl was so anxious to pull my shirt up and handle my breast!


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## white_queen_22 (Jan 14, 2006)

I just say something like "I'm feeding the baby special milk to help her grow big and strong!". If the parents get offended by me answering a child's honest question than they should have done better educating them themselves. *wry grin*

My kids see a baby nursing and my nearly-four year old says, "Awww....baby drinking Momma's milk! Yummy Baby!" *laughing* It never fails to make a nursing mother smile that he uses the "so sweet" tone of voice adults use about puppies and things. hehehehe

We are so open about it at our house in terms of explaining things to our kids. We live in the country so they totally understand about babies and milk and even death as much as a child can understand the life cycle of things.

I've found that little kids want to SEE - like they think they'll be able to see the milk in the same way they can see into a bottle. I usually just say that "God helps the Mommy make special milk for the baby and when the baby is ready to eat the milk comes out."

I let them get as close as they want at a young age - usually they just want to look at the baby! I figure if they've never seen a nursing baby before than maybe I am leaving a positive image in their minds for their far-off future.

Angela <><


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## leafwood (Jun 15, 2004)

I'm very honest and very simplistic. I usually say something like "I make milk that the baby drinks and this is how he gets it. It's called nursing".


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## shannonnc78 (May 15, 2008)

I just say, "he's eating" and let the parents explain anything more.


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## tea4tamara (Jul 9, 2007)

I didn't feel uncomfortable nursing in front of the kid -- I'll pretty much nurse anywhere. I think it was more my family made me feel uncomfortable, like nursing is something to hide. After a week of everyone disappearing when it was time to nurse (and that's a LOT with my baby), it starts to get to you ha ha. I think next time I'll just explain it simply like some of you suggested -- I think maybe I wasn't prepared and then I was unsure of how to deal with it. Thanks for your responses!


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## DelawareMom (May 21, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tea4tamara* 
I didn't feel uncomfortable nursing in front of the kid -- I'll pretty much nurse anywhere. I think it was more my family made me feel uncomfortable, like nursing is something to hide. After a week of everyone disappearing when it was time to nurse (and that's a LOT with my baby), it starts to get to you ha ha.

I hear ya! My in-laws always seem to want to sequester me away when we are visiting and dd gets hungry. "There's a nice rocking chair in the guest room..." I would like to think they are trying to make _me_ more comfortable, but I'm not always sure. It gets lonely in there...


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## elismum1908 (Jun 5, 2008)

When DS was about 2 months old I was feeding him ion front of a seven year old. The seven year old was very interested, poked his head in as far as he could and asked "what's he doing?" I told him he was eating, and the seven year old replied, "don't you mean he's drinking?"

I got a good laugh at. My 3 year old nephew also comments every time I feed DS, "Oh is Eli having Milk?"

I think the more we are open about it and the more they see it as normal, the better.


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## newmama8824 (Jul 8, 2007)

My friends 3yo. saw me breastfeeding and came up and poked my boob and said, "What's dat? What does he have in his mouf?" I just explained to him that he was drinking milk from my boobs and he just said, "Ohhhh." lol It happened once again with a womens 6yo. I didn't know them very well. He said something about my DS eating from my belly, and his Mom explained to me that thats how he thinks babies eat.... She nursed her other younger son for 2 years so I figured maybe she would have explained it to the big brother but guess not.


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## MommyJoia (Oct 31, 2007)

when DD#2 was about 4 weeks old, maybe less, I met some other mommies out for lunch. After lunch I let DD#1 play on an indoor playground. A little boy came up to me and asked if he could see the baby. I said, "no, I'm sorry she's eating right now"
he said, "what?"
I said, "milk"
he said "where in your belly button?"
"no, there's no milk in my belly button"
"Oh," he said, "up the boob?"
"yes, that's right... up, the boob", I said.
he said, "ok" and ran off.


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## Limabean1975 (Jan 4, 2008)

^^ "Up the boob." Heee!

I have not experienced an older child asking - but I think I would be matter-of-fact about it.


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## rightkindofme (Apr 14, 2008)

I've had random children in public ask. I'm pretty matter of fact about it. I don't feel like I am doing something that deserves covering up or shame so I don't cover up or feel shame.







I also only go sit in another room if I'm sick of being around people.







Yesterday I sat in the patio furniture in front of Home Depot because I needed to sit down for a bit and that was the most comfortable place. I got a few interesting looks, but I'm not worried about it.


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## white_queen_22 (Jan 14, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rightkindofme* 
I've had random children in public ask. I'm pretty matter of fact about it. I don't feel like I am doing something that deserves covering up or shame so I don't cover up or feel shame.







I also only go sit in another room if I'm sick of being around people.







Yesterday I sat in the patio furniture in front of Home Depot because I needed to sit down for a bit and that was the most comfortable place. I got a few interesting looks, but I'm not worried about it.

I did that at Sam's Club with my last baby. The only other place to sit in the entire store would have been the "food court" benches and I cannot get comfortable trying to nurse sitting on a bench with no arm support or anything. So yeah - I made myself comfy on the patio furniture. :-D

Angela <><


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## mama2be11 (Mar 31, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *white_queen_22* 
I just say something like "I'm feeding the baby special milk to help her grow big and strong!". If the parents get offended by me answering a child's honest question than they should have done better educating them themselves. *wry grin*

My kids see a baby nursing and my nearly-four year old says, "Awww....baby drinking Momma's milk! Yummy Baby!" *laughing* It never fails to make a nursing mother smile that he uses the "so sweet" tone of voice adults use about puppies and things. hehehehe

We are so open about it at our house in terms of explaining things to our kids. We live in the country so they totally understand about babies and milk and even death as much as a child can understand the life cycle of things.

I've found that little kids want to SEE - like they think they'll be able to see the milk in the same way they can see into a bottle. I usually just say that "God helps the Mommy make special milk for the baby and when the baby is ready to eat the milk comes out."

I let them get as close as they want at a young age - usually they just want to look at the baby! I figure if they've never seen a nursing baby before than maybe I am leaving a positive image in their minds for their far-off future.

Angela <><

That's great!


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## *MamaJen* (Apr 24, 2007)

Yeah, little kids are fascinated by nursing. I think it's sort of cute when they come right up and try to peer over and see exactly what's going on.
I'm lucky enough to live in a crunchy little bubble where breastfeeding is normal. Usually either me or the mama says something like, "That's how babies eat."


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## Twinklefae (Dec 13, 2006)

Ooh, I had this happen at a friend's house. She was doing some vacation babysitting for a 6 year old. I was getting ready to nurse DS, and my breast was pretty obvious since I usually pop it out the neck of my shirt.

Anyway, the little boy looks at me and says "Look out, that baby is going to lick your boobie!" (He was warning me) I said "I know, he eats special milk from my boobie, it's called nursing."

Well, he was FASCINATED!







He asked questions about it all the rest of the day, asked his mother if she had nursed him at pick up time (Yes, she had, for a few months), asked if he could nurse now (that was a no). It was nice that he got that kind of exposure. (Well, at least he won't be warning anyone else.







)


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## UberMama (Feb 27, 2007)

I had a little boy, around the age of 3, ask me what I was doing when I was BFing DD at the zoo one day. I told him she was eating. His mother came along apologizing to me and I said it was no problem. Her son looked up at her and said, "That's ewwww!" and his Mom looked at him and said, "That's how you used to eat when you were a baby!" He got this look of horror on his face and just mumbled, "Oh" and walked away. LOL!


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## azariahsmom (Aug 12, 2008)

Most kids for some reason have known what I was doing, accepted it and not stared too much. I haven't had to explain anything, they all act like it is natural, which it is. Kids are smarter than they let on and accept things faster than adults (unfortunately). I haven't run into problems..yet. My son is only three months old though and I intend to nurse for at least a year, and I live in an area where it's not widely accepted to breastfeed.


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## Teresa221 (Feb 3, 2004)

I can't recall explaining it to other's children (I know not with the most recent nursling - but the other 2 were quite a few years ago and my memory is quickly fading







). If it happened though I'd feel comfortable explaining what I was doing in simple terms and answering any and all questions they had. If they asked detailed/personal questions I'd probably just confirm with mom that it was okay for me to answer.

I've certainly lost all modesty, especially this time around because my other 2 are constantly on top of me while I'm nursing - sometimes even trying to hold my breast for the baby







I usually assure them that I have things under control! LOL!


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## butterfly_mommy (Oct 22, 2007)

I was babysitting my 5 year old nephew about a month ago and was feeding DS and he said

"Auntie Scarlett, What's Julian doing?"
"Drinking milk"
looking questionably from multiple angles at my boob and nursing DS "What kind of milk"
"Mama milk"
"Oh"

about 20 mins later DS is lying on a blanket and spit up. My nephew points to the spit up and asks "Is that the milk?"
"Yes, he spit some up"

When his mom came home he said
"Mom can I have a drink"
"What would you like"
"Milk..looks at my breasts and says "Not Auntie Scarlett milk"







:

I have had my 7 year old niece with me all week who as an infant was a boobie milk monster...loved nursing and did it till she was 8 mons and then my sister couldn't take the aggressive nursing anymore







Anyway she loves watching me nurse Julian. The other day he woke from his nap and I went into the room and she followed me. I was lying on the bed and she was behind me on the bed and I said to Julian "Do you want to nurse?" and she said "No thank-you"







I think it is so cute that she thought I was offering her nursies, and she was polite about it







I told my sister and had a big laugh (out of earshot from DN of course)


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## neostudded (Sep 5, 2007)

What a great thread!

I really loved this post, it made me laugh!







:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *birdie22* 
My friend's 4 yo daughter wanted to help hold my breast while I latched ds on.







Uhhh... no thanks sweetie!

BTW, her mom is grossed out by bf, so I thought it was hilarious that the little girl was so anxious to pull my shirt up and handle my breast!


I was at a friends house when my son was ten months old, he wanted a breastfeed so I took him to a different room & her five year old followed me, I started feeding him. She stopped and looked in shock and said "what is he doing?", I said "he is getting milk, most babies feed by getting milk from their mummy" she just looked and said "oh".







Then she said "he is eating you!" and I just laughed & said "he is getting milk".







she watched very closely while I fed him, I wonder if she ever said anything to her mother.

Also, my younger siblings had not seen a baby breastfeed until I had Julius, they watched pretty closely when fed him as a newly born baby. They did not even know what breastfeeding was until I had my son. My three year old brother is always "expressing" in to a cup for his toys now and feeding them. lol


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## white_queen_22 (Jan 14, 2006)

neostudded - I have younger siblings also.

One day - quite soon after my son was born - we were over at my parents house for Christmas. My brother was 3 at the time and was still "nursing" in the mornings but mom thought her milk had dried up. So we asked him.

"K, Is there any milk in mommy's nummies?"
<sad voice> "No - no nummy milk"
I said "Well - I have some milk in MY nummies if you want some."
And he looked at me with the most horrified expression on his face and said "No! Not Mommy nummies!" and ran from the room.

It was SO funny. You would have thought I offered him some nasty poison concoction or something. *snickers*


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## marrymeflyfree (Jan 5, 2008)

My 5yo niece's first BF exposure was a couple of months ago when we were visiting with our then-3 weeker. She wanted to play, but I said I couldn't because the baby was eating. She popped up on the bed with us and looked quite confused as there was no bottle. She looked at the top of my breast and said, "What is that?!"

I wasn't sure if she knew what BF was at all, so I just said, "That's how she gets milk...just like puppies get milk from the mama dog."

Wide eyed, "That's your BOOOOOOOB??"









I explained a bit, and (because she's such a practical kid who, I'm told, loves to clean) told her it was great because I didn't have to wash bottles all the time.

"But....you have to wash your boob, right?" hahahahaa!

She was pretty curious, but took it as matter of fact. I heard later that she'd asked her mom if she was BF and a few other things.

Now, when we've visited more recently, she always asks "Is she suckin' on your boob again?" whenever she sees us nursing.









The only time I've been self-conscious about BF'ing in front of other people's kids happened to be the very first time I ever NIP. I was in the waiting room at the ped's office...very mainstream type crowd, and the room was chock-full of kids. Most of them young boys around 7-9 years old. LO was only a couple of weeks old, so nursing itself was still a bit of challenge - nevermind nursing in public without the benefit of my bed and pillows while trying to artfully arrange LO in her sling. Lucky for me, the mom next to me casually mentioned something about having BF her boys. Totally put me at ease.


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## tea4tamara (Jul 9, 2007)

These stories are all so cute! Kids say the best stuff!


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## hrsmom (Jul 4, 2008)

I make house calls and take my baby with me. One time I had to nurse her while we were at a home that had a 3-year-old. I said the baby was hungry and I was going to feed her, her dad took off to another room, but the girl stayed. Her eyes got SO big when I started nursing! It was cute. I told her a little about it. I didn't know the family, for all I knew she was breast fed as a baby and just hadn't seen it before. Anyway, her reaction was cute and hopefully I answered her questions!


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## wehave5boyshelp (Aug 16, 2008)

I have 3 step-sons that had never seen nursing before. The first time they saw, my middle step son looked at me with wide eyes and asked
- what are you DOING to him!? I told him
- im feeding the baby.
- But you dont have a bottle!?
- No, Aidan drinks mommy milk, from me, his mommy, so I dont need a bottle.
- He drinks _mommymilk?
- Yes he does.
He came in right next to me and stared for a minute then ran off to play. Every time he sees me nurse now he loks at me and nods his head and says- mommy milk. My oldest step son will stare accross the room for a minute, but seems more interested in the fact that there is a naked boob in the house than what its being used for, lol.

I also nurse openly around my family, they are used to it, my older sister nursed all 4 of her kids. In fact My niece was playing with her dolly when suddenly she tucked it under her shirt. I asked what she was doing and she said- my baby is hungry, so i am feeding her!







I thik its so cute that that was how she knew babies to be fed._


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## damselfly41 (Sep 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tea4tamara* 
Do you explain breastfeeding to other people's kids?

I have, and I do when/if they ask.


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## guest9921 (Nov 3, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wehave5boyshelp* 
In fact My niece was playing with her dolly when suddenly she tucked it under her shirt. I asked what she was doing and she said- my baby is hungry, so i am feeding her!







I thik its so cute that that was how she knew babies to be fed.

My 3 year old son breastfeeds his naked GI Joe.
The kid rocks.


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## cotopaxi (Sep 17, 2007)

My nieces are overly fascinated with it (ages 4 and 6). I don't mind too too much but I could do without the commentary amongst themselves (i.e. about the color of my nipples, etc.). The younger one is a little jealous and mad that I won't bf her too.


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## *Erin* (Mar 18, 2002)

i get uncomfortable when the kids asking get into my space and wanna watch but i feel like i handle the questions/situation well. i just say the baby's eating, that he gets his milk from my breasts because we're mammals like goats or kittens or puppies! i say we call it "having mimis"; some babies get "mimis" in a bottle, some babies get formula milk in a bottle. and i smile and pretend im comfortable until i actually get to feeling that way!


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## LegalScrapper (Aug 21, 2008)

My niece and nephews were full of questions. The oldest nephew said "that's gross." He was also going through an intense "privacy - don't look at me phase - he was 7. My niece announced that it was just like I had bottles attached to my chest. My youngest nephew said, "why can't you afford bottles? My mommy will buy you some?"









On a side note my daughter calls breasts "moo moos." I've told her they are breasts over and over. I think it is because she got the sign for "more" and moo mixed up. In any event, she still calls them moo moos (she's 4 1/2) and tells everyone she sees that I'm going to feed her new baby brother with my moo moos. Now that's sure to cause confusion!


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