# Is it safe for obese people to co-sleep



## JSerene (Nov 4, 2004)

I mean no disrespect, this is an honest question. My friend's wife is pregnant and I was trying to decide if I should tell them how beneficial co-sleeping is but I hesitate because they are both morbidly obese. If they got a king size bed, would you all think it is safe...or is it better to get a little bed next to theirs for the baby?


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## Jane Plane (Jan 30, 2007)

Co-sleeping is so great, but there are so many ways to do AP, and obesity is a big risk when it comes to co-sleeping. I wouldn't push it, if I were you, or if I did, I would make sure that I told them that many studies have shown it to be risky, so they can make their own decision.


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## georgia (Jan 12, 2003)

Here is a past thread (there are lots more) about obesity that I think you'll find helpful: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=410270

HTH!


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## Arduinna (May 30, 2002)

Obesity is not a big risk in cosleeping, a big risk in cosleeping is doing it while drunk. Yes you should tell them about it. There are tons of big mamas on here that coslept, me included and my dd is now a 17 year old.


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## North_Of_60 (May 30, 2006)

I'm obese and I co-sleep. It's not unsafe.


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## mommytomahmoud (Jan 8, 2007)

i would tell them about they know their body bettter than u and it might be great for them

ayah


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## Jane Plane (Jan 30, 2007)

I'm not saying it's awful or not to do it, but since obesity is a risk factor it wouldn't be fair to hide it. Informed decisions are always the best ones!


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## Lauren82 (Feb 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jane Plane* 
Co-sleeping is so great, but there are so many ways to do AP, and obesity is a big risk when it comes to co-sleeping. I wouldn't push it, if I were you, or if I did, I would make sure that I told them that many studies have shown it to be risky, so they can make their own decision.

As a fat mama, I'd like to see some proof of the risk that I pose to my babies by cosleeping. I'm sure my fat mama friends would be interested too. I've never rolled on my babies. Not when I was skinny and not while fat.







:


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## living_organic (Sep 25, 2006)

DH is thin...I am not!!

I get too hot for covers and dd sleeps on the other side of me. So it's dd2 on one side...dd1, dh and ALL the covers on the other side.

IMHO she is safer because I hate covers! I hate covers b/c I have my own insulation!









Seriously though, I know I am uncomfortable if my PJ top gets folded under me I would for sure know if I was laying on a baby!!!


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## Ammaarah (May 21, 2005)

I think it's perfectly safe as long as there's plenty of room in the bed. Maybe baby can sleep between Mom and the wall. (My husband is not overweight but when our daughter was little, I kept her on my side or just she and I shared the bed because it took him longer to get used to her presence in the bed.)

Anyway, I am plenty big (like Camryn Manheim size) and I've never gotten close to hurting my baby in bed. In fact, the closest I've gotten to finding myself on top of her is when she puts her little hands and feet under my breasts or tummy at night to warm up! (I wake up right away when she does it.)

I think that just because it's commonly listed as a co-sleeping risk, doesn't mean it truly is any more risky for obese moms to co-sleep. There are so many scare stories about co-sleeping that I have 120-pound friends who are afraid they'll squish their babies. It's so unlikely. I think you (OP) can tell your friend how great co-sleeping is and also let her know about co-sleepers, sidecarring a crib, etc, if she seems concerned about the rollover issue.

I bet anything Venus of Willendorf co-slept.


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

My weight-for-height definitely puts me in the obese category -- but most of my fat is accumulated in my hips, butt, and thighs (well, also my breasts!)

I've never had any problems with co-sleeping with my babies. Well, with my first I was scared of rolling over on her (not because of fat but because I used to be such a restless sleeper) and I kept her next to me in a basket for the first six weeks until I realized I could trust myself (by that time, I'd had enough experience of dozing off while nursing and waking next morning to find her still with me in bed, alive and breathing). My second was next to me in the bed from the start.

I know one lady who has lots of upper-body fat, rolls of it around her middle, and she says if she ever has a baby, she'll do a sidecar arrangement to avoid the risk of baby burrowing into her fat and suffocating. Now that I'm an experienced co-sleeper, I don't see that as a risk: as long as babies have space on the other side, they'll move their heads back to avoid suffocation. But if it makes a mama feel safer, the sidecar arrangement is worth it.

I definitely WOULD share the benefits of co-sleeping with ANY prospective mama; I wouldn't do weight-discrimination. You could provide her with safety information and let her decide for herself the best sleeping arrangement for her family. As a previous poster shared, there are many different ways to share sleep -- and a side-car arrangement is a form of co-sleeping, too.


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## Arduinna (May 30, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jane Plane* 
I'm not saying it's awful or not to do it, but since obesity is a risk factor it wouldn't be fair to hide it. Informed decisions are always the best ones!

A risk factor of what?


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## Jane Plane (Jan 30, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Arduinna* 
A risk factor of what?

Being unresponsive to the baby during the night. Look, risks are just risks, not certainties, and we all take risks with our babes every day. But it's best when we are informed about the risks we're taking so we can decide which course is best.

I don't think it would be fair to encourage someone to co-sleep who has a condition ("morbid obesity") that makes it riskier to co-sleep without also making sure that person knows that there are extra risks involved.

As for where I've gotten this information, every pro co-sleeping resource or website I've seen cautions that there are certain conditions that make co-sleeping either contraindicated or riskier, and that obesity is one of those conditions.


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jane Plane* 
I don't think it would be fair to encourage someone to co-sleep who has a condition ("morbid obesity") that makes it riskier to co-sleep without also making sure that person knows that there are extra risks involved.

I still think that "making sure that person knows that there are extra risks involved" can be done by referring the person to info about safe co-sleeping -- especially since, as you say, every pro-co-sleeping resource you've ever seen already mentions the obesity factor.


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## Jane Plane (Jan 30, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mammal_mama* 
I still think that "making sure that person knows that there are extra risks involved" can be done by referring the person to info about safe co-sleeping -- especially since, as you say, every pro-co-sleeping resource you've ever seen already mentions the obesity factor.

Exactly!

I was just looking in the links at the top of this forum, and found this article, entitled, Solitary or Shared Sleep? It's from Mothering magazine.

http://www.mothering.com/articles/ne...hue-carey.html


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## gwynthfair (Mar 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jane Plane* 
Being unresponsive to the baby during the night. Look, risks are just risks, not certainties, and we all take risks with our babes every day. But it's best when we are informed about the risks we're taking so we can decide which course is best.

I don't think it would be fair to encourage someone to co-sleep who has a condition ("morbid obesity") that makes it riskier to co-sleep without also making sure that person knows that there are extra risks involved.

As for where I've gotten this information, every pro co-sleeping resource or website I've seen cautions that there are certain conditions that make co-sleeping either contraindicated or riskier, and that obesity is one of those conditions.

I'm not sure I understand why obese people would be less responsive to an infant during the night.

I think the risk MIGHT be that morbidly obese persons sink further into the mattress thereby creating an uneven surface for a baby that MIGHT cause he/she to roll into them. Obviously everyone should evaluate the safety of any situation they put their baby in and trust their instincts.


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jane Plane* 
Exactly!

I was just looking in the links at the top of this forum, and found this article, entitled, Solitary or Shared Sleep? It's from Mothering magazine.

http://www.mothering.com/articles/ne...hue-carey.html

So we really are on the same page, then!  I just think referring someone to information, and trusting her to make her own decision, is lots more respectful than invasively saying, "You're too heavy to safely co-sleep with your baby" (and I'm not saying anyone was really advising the latter, either).

It's also more respectful than avoiding talking about the benefits of co-sleeping -- as if we're afraid the mama can't look at the info. and figure things out for herself. Actually I'd want to point ANYone new to co-sleeping to the safety information, regardless of body-type.


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## Manena (Feb 18, 2007)

I agree with what Jane Plane told you.


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## Jenlaana (Oct 28, 2005)

I think it is ridiculous to suggest that because I am overweight, I would not know where my DD is. I am 200 lbs and my DH is about 250 and we have had our DD w/ us since she was born 18 mos ago. We both ALWAYS know where she is, even to the point that when she rolls into my DH he wakes up enough to pull the blanket over her lower half and cuddle up to her.

If they were 500lbs MAYBE there would be an issue, if they slept too heavily due to some of the sleep issues that come with being that overweight, or the unlevel bed issue, which can be fixed with putting something firm between the mattress and box spring.

There is 200-300lbs obese though, and then 500-600+lbs obese. Having not been 500 lbs I have no idea what its like and its affect on sleeping habits and knowledge of the boundaries of your body, and I don't think that anyone here (who is not that big) has any room or scientific background to be able to make those determinations, ya think?

Cosleeping is great, and sidecar cosleeping is great. Maybe it would be a space issue. I would probably suggest a sidecar to someone who was new to cosleeping just because its a way to ease in to the discussion of cosleeping.


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

I just say, give everyone access to good information and they'll do fine deciding for themselves and their families.


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## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

Depends on the baby too. With DS, I was planning to put him on a Snuggle Nest FTMP (I am "morbidly obese"). But it turns out he was born with excellent head control and the ability to roll from side to side right at the beginning, so I am comfortable co-sleeping.


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lolar2* 
Depends on the baby too. With DS, I was planning to put him on a Snuggle Nest FTMP (I am "morbidly obese"). But it turns out he was born with excellent head control and the ability to roll from side to side right at the beginning, so I am comfortable co-sleeping.

Good for you! Dh and I are both heavy people -- but we don't find it makes us unaware of, or unresponsive to, our little ones at night.


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## North_Of_60 (May 30, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jane Plane* 
Being unresponsive to the baby during the night.

This always makes me laugh. I've had to sleep bare arse naked since I was 8 years old, and REMAKE my bed every single night before crawling into bed because if I feel a wrinkle I go spastic. And I'm not kidding. As it is right now, I'm laying in bed with DD with the blankets folded *meticulously* in thirds so as not to wrinkle and bunch up.

The idea that a wrinkle in my sheets waking me up, but a 20 pound kid going unnoticed in bed while I roll on top of her is ridiculous!

ANYONE can be "unresponsive". My sister, who weighs 110 pounds, could sleep with a freaking grizzly bear, till 3 in the afternoon, during an earth quake, and barely flutter an eyelid. But I suppose because she's thin that co-sleeping wouldn't be risky at all.


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## Cinder (Feb 4, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gwynthfair* 
I'm not sure I understand why obese people would be less responsive to an infant during the night.

I think the risk MIGHT be that morbidly obese persons sink further into the mattress thereby creating an uneven surface for a baby that MIGHT cause he/she to roll into them. Obviously everyone should evaluate the safety of any situation they put their baby in and trust their instincts.

I think the risk is actually associated with a higher risk of sleep apnea in obese adults, and the sleep apnea issues can make you less likely to wake up completely if you are in some way suffocating the baby, in the same way that alcohol can make you less responsive.

Now obviously, many skinny people have sleep apnea issues as well, and many obese people do not...so perhaps snoring should be listed as the increased risk? I don't know...

Anyway, I'm obese, not morbidly obese according to my bmi, but definitely obese, and I co-slept with both my kids with no issues what so ever...


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

Another 'obese' co-sleeping mama with a child that lived to tell the tale over here...


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## JesseMomme (Apr 6, 2002)

I'm not morbidly obese but I've definately been fat for most of my co-sleeping days (still am







) Just b/c you have extra layers of fat on you doesn't mean you won't be in tune with your baby's sleep patterns. The only concern I ever had was in the early days and nursing in bed...small head/nose with big mama breast and I'd stay awake long enough to be sure I wasn't closing off baby's nose.

Quote:

I think the risk MIGHT be that morbidly obese persons sink further into the mattress thereby creating an uneven surface for a baby
We solved this problem by having JUST a mattress on the floor. I weight over 200 lbs after my last baby was born and my Dh weighs 120 on a good day so that by itself made the surface a bit uneven.


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## **guest** (Jun 25, 2004)

I'm obese. I coslept from the beginning. When ds first came home from the hospital, I was paranoid so he slept in a moses basket, next me but on the bed.








He did NOT sleep well like that.
I finally discovered that if I cradled him in the crook of my elbow, he would sleep. That position also made it near impossible for me to roll over.
I don't usually roll over (unaware) in bed anyway. And I'm an extremely light sleeper.

My thoughts are if the parent(s) are light sleepers, then the risk is minimal.

If anyone is really nervous about it, but want's to cosleep, there are things you can buy to put on the bed that act as a barrier.

I've never coslept with two adults in the bed so I don't have experience with that.


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## Potty Diva (Jun 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jane Plane* 
I'm not saying it's awful or not to do it, but since obesity is a risk factor it wouldn't be fair to hide it. Informed decisions are always the best ones!

I believe the risk factor to be sleep apnea, which can occur in average or lower weight people.


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cinder* 
I think the risk is actually associated with a higher risk of sleep apnea in obese adults, and the sleep apnea issues can make you less likely to wake up completely if you are in some way suffocating the baby, in the same way that alcohol can make you less responsive.

Now obviously, many skinny people have sleep apnea issues as well, and many obese people do not...so perhaps snoring should be listed as the increased risk? I don't know...

NOW I see the picture! Sleep apnea's the REAL risk -- but rather than directly addressing that, they target one group of people at risk for it.

But you know, I snore as well as being obese -- and I co-sleep with my babies just fine.

I really think we mamas are pretty in-tune with our little ones, and maybe that's not something the experts are factoring in.


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## Potty Diva (Jun 18, 2003)

The experts rarely factor these things in.


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## Arduinna (May 30, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jane Plane* 
Being unresponsive to the baby during the night. Look, risks are just risks, not certainties, and we all take risks with our babes every day. But it's best when we are informed about the risks we're taking so we can decide which course is best.

I don't think it would be fair to encourage someone to co-sleep who has a condition ("morbid obesity") that makes it riskier to co-sleep without also making sure that person knows that there are extra risks involved.

As for where I've gotten this information, every pro co-sleeping resource or website I've seen cautions that there are certain conditions that make co-sleeping either contraindicated or riskier, and that obesity is one of those conditions.

so your risk is that being fat makes me deaf? Why would a parent with more fat on their body be more likely to "be unresponsive to the baby in the night?"


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## Arduinna (May 30, 2002)

eh nevermind, I agree with Potty Diva







:


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## Potty Diva (Jun 18, 2003)

Ard- don't be sad. I doubt we'll ever agree again









I knew I was having some hearing difficulty since I gained that 20 pounds again- damn!
oh and since I have been obese I roll around in my sleep like you wouldn't believe...oh to be thin again


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## Arduinna (May 30, 2002)

my







: smilie wasn't that I agree'd with you


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## Potty Diva (Jun 18, 2003)

I was just trying to get a giggle- you seemed a little irritated.


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## georgia (Jan 12, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Potty Diva* 
I was just trying to get a giggle- you seemed a little irritated.


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## eldadeedlit (Jun 22, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *North_Of_60* 
ANYONE can be "unresponsive". My sister, who weighs 110 pounds, could sleep with a freaking grizzly bear, till 3 in the afternoon, during an earth quake, and barely flutter an eyelid. But I suppose because she's thin that co-sleeping wouldn't be risky at all.

















:

That is my DH!!! too funny. (and fwiw, he is about as skinny as they come!)

Veronica


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## treemom2 (Oct 1, 2003)

I'm another "obese" cosleeping mama married to a thin DH. Funny thing is he sleeps so hard that I cannot allow my babies to sleep next to him for fear that he will put an arm or pillow over them. However, I am a very light sleeper who wakes at the slightest movement or sound. I can't even BF asleep like so many of the mamas here at mdc. I think the real risk factor is how hard you sleep--and how mama instincts influence that sleep. I hate that society is always trying to blame everything on obesity and not getting to the real issues at hand.


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## Arduinna (May 30, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Potty Diva* 
I was just trying to get a giggle- you seemed a little irritated.

just tired of the fat phobia


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Arduinna* 
just tired of the fat phobia

Yep, me too.


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## Potty Diva (Jun 18, 2003)

TM and Ard- did you watch the Penn and Teller show about the fat myths?

It was so right on







They are lmost my new heroes


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## Potty Diva (Jun 18, 2003)

accept the fat!

Oh and I just found out I look really neat in a white v-neck tee shirt







Rolls and all.


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## Arduinna (May 30, 2002)

no I didn't see it darn, I will check the guide I wanted to see the breast one too


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## Diane B (Mar 15, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JSerene* 
I mean no disrespect, this is an honest question. My friend's wife is pregnant and I was trying to decide if I should tell them how beneficial co-sleeping is but I hesitate because they are both morbidly obese. If they got a king size bed, would you all think it is safe...or is it better to get a little bed next to theirs for the baby?

I am going to break my own rule, and not even bother to read the other responses, and just say "IT DOESN"T MATTER!" My partner is a LARGE woman. We sleep separately (snoring issues...another story) and my daughter prefers to come in and cuddle up with her at night. I never even thought twice about it - my partner knows where her own body is in relation to my daughter, even if there's twice as much of it as mine. As long as they have safe bedding, I can't possibly see why their weight would be an issue.


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## ulla (Feb 3, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JesseMomme* 
The only concern I ever had was in the early days and nursing in bed...small head/nose with big mama breast and I'd stay awake long enough to be sure I wasn't closing off baby's nose.

Yes, I think this is the real risk. It's not so much the sleeping part, but the breastfeeding in bed that could pose a risk.

By the time my sister had her third child she outweighed me by about 100 lbs. When I was nursing, my breasts were about the size of grapefruits. I just popped the baby on and then could go about my business. My sister's breasts were almost the size of those round watermelons. She had to carefully position the breast and push it up and towards her chest so that it cleared the baby's nose, and then hold it in place for the entire nursing session to prevent it from slipping. She couldn't let her attention stray at all from the task of keeping the breast immobile because if she did, her grip relaxed and the breast slipped down, completely covering the baby's nose.

For this reason she never nursed in bed because she was afraid of dozing off, relaxing her grip, and smothering the baby with her breast.

I would consider this a risk directly related to obesity. Of course, the size and "floppiness" of the breasts would also be a factor.


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

Even as a newborn, my daughter could turn her head away from my breast should it cover her nose. That 'risk' makes no sense to me.

PD - I haven't seen it yet! I should.


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## *Aimee* (Jan 8, 2007)

Quote:

Women who are not overweight just don't have such large pendulous breasts.
Really? I know many thin women with GIANT breasts...


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## BelgianSheepDog (Mar 31, 2006)

Yeah I have breasts the size of (insert insulting produce comparison here) and had to help her position her face to nurse as a newborn. And yet, as the midwives assured me, if I drifted off and let go of the boob and it started to block her nose, she'd pop off. From day one. So I really don't see the "risk" there either.

I should never, ever read these threads.


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## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)

Yeah I have large breasts, and my lc could tell I was concerned about possibly smothering her with my breasts, and she said that would never happen. I have never been concerned since- 3 years and two babies later.

And the obese people have large pendulous breasts thing is stupid. I know large women with disproportionately smalls breasts and vice versa.


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## Arduinna (May 30, 2002)

eh I have those big boobs it was never a problem to nurse in bed at night, even when she was a newborn.


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## umsami (Dec 1, 2003)

I've co-slept with both of my sons and I've been anywhere from 75 pounds + overweight. I will say that it hasn't been an issue for me... but my husband (stick thin) does not seem to have the sort of baby radar that I do. So... I would recommend possibly getting some sort of barrier on the outside (railing, big pillow things they sell, whatever) and having the baby be between that and the Mom. Another option that would definitely work is a co-sleeper crib.









We've done this in a Queen-sized bed, BTW. I think a King Size bed would be absolutely fab.









Oh... and I have giant boobs (or milk machines as they're known here)... nursing /sleeping has never been an issue. The side-lying position works great... and the good thing about big boobs is that you don't need a nursing pillow (at least I don't). Also great if you think you might sleep. Baby on my lap is all I need... as the nipple reaches.

I really want to say don't underestimate the MOm-radar thing. Unless you're on medication, I really can't see a Mom rolling over on her child. It's just this sort of sixth-sense that you know where the little person is. (And perhaps that they tend to go perpendicular on you and kick you







)


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## Arduinna (May 30, 2002)

I don't know why people who have never coslept as large woman don't just listen to the moms who have experience with this. I'm sorry but someone who has not BTDT does not know better than I do.


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## Nature (Mar 12, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ulla* 
Women who are not overweight just don't have such large pendulous breasts.











Um.. ok.

I've met many skinny girls with some gigantic breasts!

I've been overweight, and had F size breasts.. and never once experienced any problems with nursing in bed. Nor did I stay awake all night to hold my "large pendulous breasts" away from my babys nose.


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Arduinna* 
I don't know why people who have never coslept as large woman don't just listen to the moms who have experience with this. I'm sorry but someone who has not BTDT does not know better than I do.

Yep.


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## swampangel (Feb 10, 2007)

I think there are a lot of misconceptions about cosleeping that are stated out there as fact. There is probably some truth to the "guidelines" but I tend to think that they are written more for folks who are parenting a bit unconsciously.

Similarly with toys that aren't for children under 3. I have a baby and a preschooler and the baby plays with a lot of toys that aren't for babies...but I'm there all the time and he isn't left unattended with toys that can break into small parts.

I think a lot of it is common sense and the guidelines out there are probably helpful for a lot of folks who wouldn't think it through...but they also create a lot of unnecessary concern and worry for parents.


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## georgia (Jan 12, 2003)

If a baby is latched, no matter how large a mother's breasts are, the baby's nostrils are amazingly designed to keep the baby breathing. Human anatomy is an incredible thing.

IMO, infant safety has _nothing_ to do with a mother's size


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## swampangel (Feb 10, 2007)

I agree entirely with Georgia. I remember when I was in the hospital after the birth of my first baby, my midwife told me that there was no reason to worry about him breathing at the breast...she said that the instinct to breath is stronger than the instinct to suck...the baby will unlatch if they need to.


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## ulla (Feb 3, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thismama* 
Even as a newborn, my daughter could turn her head away from my breast should it cover her nose. That 'risk' makes no sense to me.

Well, all babies are different. As a newborn, my nephew was not able to turn his head far enough to uncover his nose himself. And when he fell asleep while nursing he just lay there and didn't react if the breast slipped over his nose. Whenever I visited, my sister's husband spotted her while we were nursing and chatting. Every few minutes he called out "you're slipping" and she corrected her grip. So, regardless of whether it makes sense to other people, they identified this as a risk for them and took steps to mitigate it.

When something is identified as a risk that just means that there is exposure to something bad happening. The possibility of the event actually occurring could be large or negligibly small, depending on numerous factors. I think it makes little sense to take things personally when discussing possible risk factors.


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## moondiapers (Apr 14, 2002)

I used to be obese. I am 5ft6in and I used to weigh 278lbs. I coselpt with both of my children. I'm now 165 lbs. I don't notice any differnce in sensitivity to my body since loosing the weight. My only concern would be that I have sleep apnea...when I was obese my sleep apnea was much worse. Sleep apnea is a risk for obese people....and can make you less responsive in sleep. Like someone else said, I've always been aware of even sheet wrinkles under me and can't sleep at all of the sheet isn't smooth etc. So barring any UNTREATED sleep disorders I don't see obesity as a risk to co-sleeping.

-Heather


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## georgia (Jan 12, 2003)

Parents come in all shapes and sizes. The dangers and risks of *not* co-sleeping, IMO, are much more compelling than worrying about someone's weight. Perhaps there are other health concerns, but IMO, how much parents weighed would not be a reason not to share sleep.


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## TypingMJ (Nov 10, 2005)

If your friends can sleep at night without falling off the side of the bed, they probably have enough physical self awareness in their sleep to co-sleep safely. Their size should not be an issue.


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## JSerene (Nov 4, 2004)

Thanks for all of the input. So I guess I can approach it this way:

-tell them what I know about co-sleeping and it's wonderful benefits
-recommend a large family bed so there's plenty of room for everyone
-point out the guidelines and the sleep apnea factor

I didn't know the issue was sleep apnea - thanks!


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

Ulla, your sister and her husband identified a unique area where your nephew was at risk, and they dealt with it. That's what in-tune mamas and daddies do. They don't need a lot of outsiders evaluating their families' risk-level for various disasters.

I, too, have very large breasts and have no problem with night nursing. When my babies are tiny, they sleep in the crook of my arm (as I lie on my back), because that's our in-bed nursing position in the early days. Later we alternate between that and me turning onto my side (I tend to get cramps if I stay in the same position too long, but in the early days after birth I'm so much sleepier than usual, I'm happy to just stay in one position and scoot Baby from side to side).

It cracks me up when people imply that large breasts are a hindrance to safe breastfeeding ... my smaller-breasted friends are sometimes sad because they can't nurse lying on their backs, and they can't sit next to their babies in the car and nurse them in their carseats, either. Big pendulous breasts rock!

That said -- as an open and public breastfeeder, sometimes I'm jealous 'cause my smaller-breasted friends don't create as much of a stir when they nurse in the church sanctuary.


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JSerene* 
Thanks for all of the input. So I guess I can approach it this way:

-tell them what I know about co-sleeping and it's wonderful benefits
-recommend a large family bed so there's plenty of room for everyone
-point out the guidelines and the sleep apnea factor

I didn't know the issue was sleep apnea - thanks!

I wouldn't approach the issue any differently than I would with skinny people.


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## BelgianSheepDog (Mar 31, 2006)

Yeah I wouldn't either. I might say "of course you don't want to cosleep if you're going to sleep too heavily for any reason, like if you took a sleeping pill or if you have a sleep disorder" but tying it in to "obesity" is just silly and offensive. Skinny people have sleep disorders all the time too.


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## SleepyMamaBear (Jun 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Arduinna* 
just tired of the fat phobia

ME TOO!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BelgianSheepDog* 
Yeah I wouldn't either. I might say "of course you don't want to cosleep if you're going to sleep too heavily for any reason, like if you took a sleeping pill or if you have a sleep disorder" but tying it in to "obesity" is just silly and offensive. Skinny people have sleep disorders all the time too.

YEAH that!


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## Amris (Feb 27, 2006)

I am not overweight, but I do have a separate weight issue.

This thread made me very sad, I'm sorry to say.









May you all be blessed in this journey. Please mention it to them. They and their little one - on - the -way deserve the loving closeness that it provides.


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