# Would you breast feed someone elses child?



## mamaofthree (Jun 5, 2002)

Would you ever consider breastfeeding someone's child? The reason I ask is my SIL leaves her baby with me every once and awhile, he is breastfed, and she leaves me a bottle and some pumped milk. I am also breast feeding my 8 month old, we use no formula, I have often wondered what I would do if I ran out of his milk. He has been drinking more lately and when my BIL comes to get him we are out!
I dn't think it would bother me so much, but I am not sure how she would feel, and I don't know if i would want someone doing it to my kid???







:
Have you done it? or has someone done it to your kid??


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## amandajf (May 15, 2002)

I haven't done itand my kids haven't either. But I would much rather leave my child with a nursing momto feed them from their own breast rather than a bottle. Of course I would like it to be someone we know well because b/m can carry some diseases sometimes... but to me boob isboob. We drinkmilk from a farm animal that stands in poop all day.. why not let my baby nurse from a clean breast? I also would nurse soemone else's baby if they wanted me to. my milk.. your milk.. all breastmilk is best for the child.. and bottlescan lead to so many nursing problems.. and notall babies like to be cup/syringe/eyedropper fed


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## mom at home (Nov 19, 2001)

I would and I have. Not just anyone, but someone I trusted and knew. I nursed a friend's baby at playgroup once as I was the only one lactating at the time, his mom had gone and he was inconsoluble. He didn't mind, but he was pretty young.

My sister and her good friend nursed each other's kids when they were watching each other's kids. But as the kids got older they wanted nothing to do with that other, foreign nipple.

I think it's a great idea as long as everyone is comfortable with it.

Alison


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## mamawasophie (Nov 26, 2001)

I've done this with a friend's child that is the same age as mine and she did so with my kiddo. We have a regular trade that started when the girls were both around 4-6 months.

I have to admit that it didn't go well. Neither child really wanted to nurse anyone but mom and the latches were so different that my friend and I both commented on it to each other. In the end I think I tried only a few times as did she without much luck.

I had mixed feelings about the experience. In theory I believe that it is an absolutely great way for a caregiver to bond and help a child. In practice it kind of weirded me out to have a different baby staring up into my eyes.

So glad the topic was brought up as we both felt like we were a little out there when we decided to try it.

mamawasophie

mama to Sophie 7/00


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## glh (Nov 19, 2001)

Didn't this same thread appear awhile back? Re: troll?


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## bunny's mama (Nov 19, 2001)

i babysat my friend's newborn (6 weeks) for an hour while her mama got a haircut and she left a bottle of EBM but said i could nurse her if i wanted. well, between trying to watch the bunny and taking care of the little, there was no way i could've put a bottle together for her.

i had her in my sling and she started to cry, so i just nursed her. she latched right on, nursed happily and promptly fell asleep. i don't really think she was hungry anyway, just missing her mama and needing a little comfort. so it was perfect.


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## NewMa (May 2, 2002)

Kama's thread "The Accidental Wet Nurse" a short a while ago got me thinking about this a lot.
Sure, I'd nurse another baby, but only if the child's mother and I were close enough so that I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that it was a comfortable solution for everyone involved. Even though I'd much perfer a wetnurse situation to formula were an unforeseeable emergancy to arise, it would be hard for me, emotionally, to have someone else nurse my DD. I'm fairly sure that I'd feel no small amount of hurt and betryal, no matter how much my cognitive mind knows that this doesn't make sense. And I think I'd have mixed emotions bfing another babe. Mamawasophie, I have often considered how strange it would be to look down and see a different set of eyes looking back at you, and to feel a totally different latch, so it's interesting to hear you describe it. But I'd be willing to give it a try, were everything to feel right (for both the Bearers of Nipples and the Hungry Hippos.) The feelings of hesitation I have stem from the fact that I view bfing as so much more than the act of putting food in a baby's stomach; to me it serves far more than its nutriative function. The emotional function it serves in my relationship w/DD is so sweet, so tender, so loving, and so personal between her and I. This is a real touchy issue for a lot of folks. I think that many of us would have to be in the situation to know exactly how we'd respond.
How's that for an all over the place answer?


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## rda (Apr 13, 2002)

After dd#2 was born, I was hospitalized with a strep infection and could not nurse. DD had nursed well for the first 5 days and with the help of many friends and family, including a very good friend who is an LC, she was finger fed using a supplementer and donated breast milk for the entire time. My sister was lactating at the time and she offered to nurse dd, but I have to say I felt very uncomfortable about it. Another mom from my LLL group who had had a baby just a couple of weeks before also offered, but I just couldn't agree to it. We were worried that she might not go back to my breast, and that was the reasoning behind the offers, but it just didn't feel right to me. I agree with what has been said above, that it's just so personal a bond between mom and babe...... I really was afraid of her making a bond with someone else that I felt should be just with me.


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## WickidaWitch (Feb 16, 2002)

I too think breastfeeding is way to personal a bond between mommy and baby. If I ever came home to find some one else had bf'd my baby I think I would feel very betrayed by that person. I would not and could not bf someone elses baby for the same reasons. Way to personal..


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## Super Pickle (Apr 29, 2002)

I did it on the sly, and felt awfully guilty about it. The mother didn't know whether or not I had some kind of disease or was on drugs or something. I knew I was clean, but I wouldn't want anyone b/fing my baby w/out a medical chart in front of me.

But this formula-fed baby was suffering from horrible excema and I believed if he just got some b-milk his skin would clear up. It did get a little better but didn't go away completely until he was switched from formula to straight cow's milk.


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## earthmama007 (Dec 29, 2001)

I have BF'd my friend's baby and I would do it again in a heartbeat. Also I desperately want to BF this baby (16mos) b/c her mama left her and the dad. She was BF'd and still remembers four months after being weaned. I am her full time caregiver now and it is very sad to see her ask me for my "milkys" I am apprehensive to ask the dad, I am not sure what he would say.


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## lisamarie (Nov 19, 2001)

I would bf my sister's little one or one of my best friends (we met in a bf class while pg!), but I would talk w/them about it first. It is such an intimate experience and I would also want them talking w/me about nursing my babe before they tried. But.....when you see a crying baby, say at the mall or in church, and the mom does nothing to console it.....don't you just have the urge to put that dear baby to your breast and nourish them emotionally and physically?

Warmly~

Lisa


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## smeta (Dec 15, 2001)

I have not, but would bf someone I knew if the mom was ok w/ it.
Earthmama - maybe the father would be open to it?! It could help fill in a void this poor child is missing from its mama. Just tell him about how she asks and you are ok w/ it. Or maybe he would be worried it is too motherly for your roll? It seems it would be beneficial for the child. How sad.
Sorry if this is a little off the topic...


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## earthmama007 (Dec 29, 2001)

I know smeta, I should just ask. Maybe I will next time he brings her over. It is the saddest thing!


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## kama'aina mama (Nov 19, 2001)

Oh earthmama, how sad! You should try to discuss it with him. Does he even know that she asks you for it?


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## earthmama007 (Dec 29, 2001)

Yeah kama'ainamama , I said something about it and he kind of laughed about it then he said that a couple of nights previously she went to sleep sucking on his finger and he wondered if she had been nursing. I kind of changed the subject b/c I didn't want him to think I had been doing it Although looking back maybe I should have just said "would you let someone else nurse her?" I don't know maybe I will have a chance to ask later.


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## mntmama (Nov 28, 2001)

I had posted a thread along this vein sometime ago when my babysitter had a baby and I was wondering if my avid breast baby would want to nurse when she saw my babysitter with her babe...it never happened which is good because we never did make a decision on what she would do if it did come up and I think that understanding btw each other would have been v. important because I did feel the sensitivity of the issue, it was a tough one to chew over.
But just to add something cultural to the pot, I have been reading The Red Tent which I believe is historically correct for the most part and it lends a new light on the subject matter when you consider how these ancient cultures would "suck", as they put it, each others babies and really cooperatively help rear each others children. It made me think a lot about the philosophy of how it takes a village to raise a child etc.


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## Kaya's Mama (Jan 13, 2002)

Earthmama...ask!!! Keep us posted if you do! I wanna know what her papa thinks!

I would BF another baby if and only if I had permission and I would let my DD (if she was a baby still) bf from another mama if and only if I was asked first. Last year when Kaya was sick some of you amazing mamas offered to sent EBM, I woulve given it to her had my milk not decided to come back in after months of weaning.







:


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## Momof4 (Jan 25, 2002)

A friend and I (we met in birthing class) were just discussing this. She needed someone to watch her DS one morning and asked if I would. I couldn't that day but said I would any other time. I asked what she wanted to do about feeding him and volunteered that I would BF him if she were confortable. SHe laughed and said she was going to ask. Only problem -- her ds and my dd are the same age but he weighs twice what she does? I don't know if I have enought milk!! Actually, I nursed twins, so I know I do. Also, my best friend (pg now) and I have always agreed we would do this.


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## moondiapers (Apr 14, 2002)

YEs!!!
as long as it was ok with the mother. As a daycare provider I have to tell you, anyone that feeds your baby regularly bonds with him/her even if using a bottle. As long as the person actually holds that baby anyway. They still look up at you with those trusting eyes. That's why I don't understand moms that'll let just about anybody give their baby a bottle.

-Heather


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## stormborn (Dec 8, 2001)

Yes! Dh has a friend I see occasionally whose baby (AIM fed, long sad story) has reflux~ IMO could have been prevented by bf. Anyway...every time I hold this baby I have the urge to whip out a boob! And would love to nurse this child but Mom would never allow....
Also a good friend is moving back to my town and we've already decided that for watching each other's babies pumping would be a waste of time since we are both bfing.


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## WickidaWitch (Feb 16, 2002)

Stormborn-
what is AIM FED?
I would also like to add that ds2 was bf and had a reflux problem for a while.


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## stormborn (Dec 8, 2001)

WickidaWitch~ AIM=Artificial infant milk.
Sorry if I inadvertantly linked reflux w/ form. feeding, but that particular situation hit a sore spot with me...guess I should give a bit more info. I'm convinced that this baby's prob was caused by a formula intolerence because Mom quit bf after 3 wks because-in a nutshell- she 'didn't want to be tied down with it'. Started the cheapest formula she could find without consulting her Dr., LC, etc. And then switched brand several times in a few weeks.
She then called me several times wanting to know why he was all of a sudden spitting up and fussing all the time. I expressed a few times-tactfully I hope- my opinion that she needed to either continue bfing before her milk dried up or at least consult a Ped about her formula choice...but no, she waited until the problem was severe enough for the ped to recommend surgical intervention..

Ahhh, this is getting way off subject...just wanted to explain a little before I gave the wrong impression.


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## WickidaWitch (Feb 16, 2002)

Thank you for explaining that to me. sorry if I seemed nosey. I can be a real air-head sometimes.
Hope the baby is doing better.


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## telekinetic pyro (Apr 19, 2002)

Quote:

_Originally posted by lisamarie_
*But.....when you see a crying baby, say at the mall or in church, and the mom does nothing to console it.....don't you just have the urge to put that dear baby to your breast and nourish them emotionally and physically?

Warmly~

Lisa







*
I nearly did nurse a girl I work with baby once. I was holding him and he got fussy. She had mentioned that when he woke up from his nap he would probably want to eat. Well he woke up and I said "oh I bet you are hungry aren't you big guy?" And lifted up my shirt (in the lobby of our very professional, corporate building none the less) the father of the child noticed what I was doing and kind of cleared his throat and I was like "oh yeah, here ya go" This baby is strictly formula fed and I'm not quite sure what I was thinking. Except I'm holding a baby he is hungry, I should feed him.


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

It is such an intimate thing. It would have to be a baby I already had close bond with and would probably know for the rest or its life.

I certainly don't think there is anything wrong with nursing someone elses child though. unless of course the child objects.


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## stormborn (Dec 8, 2001)

oh, Wickidawitch~ I didn't think you were being nosey!...just reread my post & thought it sounded kinda bit*#%y and might have offended so i'd better explain a little more.

And you are not an airhead! I love your posts!


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## Irishmommy (Nov 19, 2001)

It would have to be a very close friend, and I would want permission prior, but that's about it!


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## pie (Apr 7, 2006)

glh what do you mean by troll?


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## lisamarie (Nov 19, 2001)

Mamapie~

I think, glh is referring to a troll that came strolling by EBF last winter. Am I right glh?

Warmly~

Lisa


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## IfMamaAintHappy (Apr 15, 2002)

I have been a wetnurse, actually.

My friend needed emergency abdominal surgery, and her son was not yet on solids and would not take a bottle. I nursed him and my own 6 month old daughter for 24 hours. I had such a copious supply (thanks to my comfort nursing daughter) that I didnt even need to take anything to increase my supply.. I ate oatmeal for breakfast both mornings and made sure I was well hydrated.

It was a very interesting experience. It was harder for her, knowing someone else would be nursing her child... I would feel the same way. But as the actual wetnurse, other than being sleep deprived, I thought it was a very education experience. I mean, how many women in the US in the 21st century can say they have wetnursed?


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## glh (Nov 19, 2001)

mamapie-Yes a similiar thread was started a few months ago. The person posted the same question currently posted here on this board and also simultaneously posted the same question on other boards and then she/he was never heard from again. Most people on the board concluded it may have been posted to stir up trouble. I notice that whoever started this thread has not posted since then, but who knows maybe she's legit.


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## kama'aina mama (Nov 19, 2001)

Pie my dear, "troll" is internet slang for someone who goes about joining chats and posting inflammitory comments or in some other way creating controversy. When someone has virtually no posts and starts up a potential hot topic it is good to be cautious. This poster sounded authentic to me and we've had a good conversation so, no harm no foul in my book. A few months back we had someone post a similar Q in three or four different boards as their only posts here and the way the Q was phrased was sort of odd too. That really felt like a troll!


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## Megs Mom (Mar 19, 2002)

I would nurse another person's baby with their permission and, obviously, if the baby was interested. I would HATE to have someone else nurse my baby, but I would do that if AIM were the alternative - i.e. if there were a very, very good reason I could not nurse her myself.


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## glh (Nov 19, 2001)

kama'aina mama, I agree, if this was meant to stir things up she came to the wrong board!


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## kama'aina mama (Nov 19, 2001)

glh... well, trolls don't always want to start a fight. I think some of us here worry about lacivious freaks with odd fetishes getting a cheap thrill off our earnest conversation. That's what the threads I mentioned before sort of seemed like. Or maybe that they would wait for us to say we think wetnursing is great and call us freaks... it's hard to suss out the motives of losers with no life, ya know?


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## fraya (Apr 13, 2002)

I think I agree that having someone else nurse my son would be harder on me than nursing somebody else's child. I have had the urge to nurse a child whose caregiver is just letting the baby cry and scream, but I haven't done it. In a dire circumstance where I was absolutely not able to nurse, I would be grateful to have someone else nurse my child or at least give him EBM.

I am intrigued by the notion from that book, The Red Tent, that inter-nursing was frequent some time ago. What an interesting way to spread immunity around a community.


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## tara (Jan 29, 2002)

I have nursed another woman's child. She is a friend of a friend whose baby was "failing to thrive" and absolutely refused a bottle or supplemental nursing system. The mama was feeling desperate and asked if I would nurse her babe. I thought she was incredibly brave to ask and immediately agreed to do it, even though I really felt that there was nothing wrong with her milk. She'd been to LCs and a couple of docs and I wasn't going to argue with her, kwim? I was going to help her in any way I could! I nursed the little babe once (she was 5 months old at the time and teeny tiny). She latched right on and gobbled since she was hungry, but once the hunger passed she looked up and me and cried for her mama! It was all really hard for this mama, who was feeling inadequate and didn't know how to help her babe. I agreed to nurse the babe twice a day for as long as it took, but that very day the mama got some better advice from a different LC and while the babe is still pretty teeny, they're doing fine!

I would do it again in an instant for any mom who asked me. If I was in a position to need another woman to nurse my babe, it would be very hard emotionally but I'd consider it a loving gift.


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## pie (Apr 7, 2006)

oh I know what a troll is. If this was started by a big stinky troll then I hope it's ****** falls off.


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## Where the boys are (Jun 27, 2002)

My first instinct is to say I would only nurse my Sister's baby (our kids have only shared EBM so far), or the baby of a close friend. But really, when it comes down to it, if any of us saw a babe with a real need or if someone needed help and asked, could any nursing mama look at that baby and say no? Probably not, no matter how uncomfortable we were. That's the root of why nursing is so beautiful and what makes it a gift.

Go forth and make milk!


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## ~member~ (May 23, 2002)

Both my sister and I had a wetnurse when we were younger. You know what's funny? When I was eighteen, I saw this woman and I just had to hug her, and when I did, I smelled her and immediately remembered nursing and looking up at her and knowing she was not my mom!! Other than the short time (a week, maybe) that this woman nursed us, I never saw her again until I was eighteen. My mother was with me and as I did not want to embarass anyone, i whispered in my mom's ear and asked if the woman I had hugged had ever breastfed me, and my mom said yes. Later, my mom told me about needing someone to nurse us so she could go on some sort of retreat.

In turn, I have nursed my sister's DS for three or four months, she had an infection and then her milk dried up and relactation didn't work. I also nursed my cousin's DS for about a week, he was a failure to thrive baby and my cousin could not bf him (she had problems due to being raped when she was eight and bfing brought back too many memories for her to handle). He ended up on formula and she gave him up for adoption.

I used to think that if I had known about my cousins problems, I would have kept nursing him and helping her out, but in the end Iam glad I didn't. i feel he is in a much better home and is very loved, things my cousin would not have been able to provide. i see him every great once in a while and I always wonder if some part of him remembers me, like how I remembered my wetnurse...


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## kama'aina mama (Nov 19, 2001)

I voted yes. I am the accidental wetnurse. I agree that there is some emotional consideration in the equation, but I also think that they change a bit as your nursling gets older. When Bonnie was a newborn it felt very sacred to nurse her. I couldn't imagine doing it for amother babe or letting anyone do it for mine. Now that she is almost 2, things are really different. It is still a very important part of our relationship and is very special, but it is hard to maintain that same feeling when you feel like the jungle gym at a preschool most days. And then there was crying baby reaching for me, so I did what made sense. It is great to hear that so many other mamas have made the same kind of decision from the same place in their heart.


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## fraya (Apr 13, 2002)

kama'aina mama,

What did the mother of the crying baby that was reaching for you think? From the sounds of it, the baby thought it was great.


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## kama'aina mama (Nov 19, 2001)

Oh Fraya, I was babysitting for a woman I know from La Leche. She was fine with it when I told her afterwards (thank Goddess!) If she had been there she would have nursed him herself. She had dropped off some unmixed formula with him, but when it happened my daughter had been crying and came over to nurse for comfort. Then he felt abandoned and started crying. He climbed up and started tugging on my shirt. I thought about peeling two crying toddlers off me and going in the kitchen to fix a bottle... for about a second. Then I helped him snuggle in next to my girl.


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## fraya (Apr 13, 2002)

I'm glad it worked out so well!


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## milkgoddess (Dec 12, 2001)

I have nursed my niece 2 or 3 times, but my sister has never had the chance or a reaosn to nurse my daughter. I would do it again,


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## Ruth (Nov 19, 2001)

As uncomfortable as some people are about nursing and wetnursing, I think wetnursing is a million times better than formula.

I nursed a foster child I had two years ago. She was 5 days old when I got her and immediately latched. I nursed her all night and gave her a bottle in the day. I didn't want to ONLY nurse her because I didn't know how long I would have her and I didn't want her to miss nursing PLUS miss me if she was returned to her parents (or other family members). Also, my then 2 year old was not too happy about sharing. I posted these facts here and then instantly regretted it because some poster told me I was going straight to *(&*) for nursing another woman's child, even though I had the permission of my child's pediatrician and the pediatrician of the foster baby. Well, I don't believe in hell, but who likes being scolded?

I have another foster baby (also 5 days when I got her) that isn't nursing as well as the first one. First, she screamed for bottle every 4 hours (hospital schedule) and wouldn't have anything else in her mouth between feedings. Then, I got her off the schedule, but she still prefers bottle. I am losing hope and thinking of pumping, but who knows.

So good to know others have done it-GREAT stories. Again, I think people should be madder about formula than wetnursing. I think we would be such a better community if we were more comfortable about "sharing" this gift, more valuable than gold, with each other.


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## DiaperDiva (Jun 30, 2002)

Deifinitely in an emergency situation. I tell DH, "if we ever see an abandoned baby on the side of the road or in a trash can, you can bet I will nurse it!" What are the chances? But you hear of those stories about babies being left here and there. But that's just me, I have a plan for everything :LOL

As for every day type feeding, as in some of the situations above, I wouldn't have any weird feelings about the actual nursing, but I would want permission from the friend/family member beforehand


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## eliv (Jul 7, 2002)

I had some friends visiting from out of state with their daughter who was one month older than my own (both of our babes were solely breastfed). At some point during their visit they got into an argument and asked if I could watch their babe while they went off to iron things out for a bit. I said sure, thinking it wouldn't be more than an hour, but four hours later when she was squalling for milk and they STILL had not returned...well what was I SUPPOSED to do? It was definately ackward, but much better than her crying inconsolably. They ended up being gone for 5 hours! Can you imagine?? I never did mention it to them.


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## Madsmum (Jul 7, 2002)

Very interesting question. I nanny for a woman who has a nursing baby. Her daughter is a bit younger than mine. The woman leaves bottles of EBM that her daughter takes reluctantly. So many times before naps or during crying spells I've thought it would just be so much easier to nurse this baby than try and shove this bottle in her mouth but I never have. I feel like I would be betraying her mom since she has never given me permission and I respect this woman a lot. If it were my daughter I would feel uncomfortable about it but I have to say I would much rather her receive breast milk from any source than formula. I feel nursing her is such a bonding experience it might make me feel upset to know that someone else had nursed her but then I realize that no matter who nursed her she would only have that bond with me. I was surprised by the woman I nanny for one day whe I was telling her how my daughter was sick and I was engorged and had not brought my pump and I expressed into her sink. She told me I should just have nursed her daughter. I'm not sure if that was meant as a joke or a go ahead but I still think I would chose not to nurse her daughter unless she right out told me it was okay.


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## Anna Trueblood (Jul 11, 2002)

I would definitely nurse another baby but only if it was ok with the mother or some sort of emergency situation. It would be hard for me to have someone else nurse my baby, but since I have over 3 gallons of EBM in the deep freeze (I work outside the home and pumping is going VERY well), I doubt it would be necessary unless I had a prolonged serious medical problem.


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## Megs Mom (Mar 19, 2002)

Anna,









Over three gallons! WOW!


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## Anna Trueblood (Jul 11, 2002)

moo!


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## Stacymom (Jul 7, 2002)

I am in the process of this right now, sort of...

One of my dear friends (and a member here- the one who introduced me) is adopting a baby that's due in a week, and I'm pumping for her baby. My friend is going to try to nurse, and use my milk in the supplementer. I'm like the previous poster who produces enough milk for two babies, and I've had the excess that I've pumped to keep from exploding stored in my freezer. My little one won't have anything to do with a bottle, so I am seriously so excited to be able to share. I've been pumping and storing like crazy for this new little one- I've been getting an extra 14 or so ounces a day. The bad news is, my pump just broke, so I'm back to engorgement until the replacement part comes. I feel very honored to be able to help out this new little baby- I think that he or she really deserves the best start that they can get.

As for the original question, yes I would nurse someone else's baby. Often, when neighbors of ours are letting their baby scream, all I want to do is pick up and nurse her. In fact, there are a lot of time where I think that a little breatmilk would solve a lot of the world's problems!


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## DiaperDiva (Jun 30, 2002)

Stacymom~
That is so cool. I new a girl from another forum who had successfully nursed her first adopted son, and was in the process of relactating for her second adoption.

You ladies are too incredible!


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## spookymom (Jul 10, 2002)

Anna Trueblood, have you ever used the name "Rhianna Trueblood"?

I would give expressed milk to a stranger in a heartbeat, but I would only nurse a baby I know well.
I would be very upset if, for some reason, I didn't have enough milk for my daughter. I would happily give her expressed milk from a bottle while snuggling with her, but I would feel really left out if someone else actually nursed her.


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## howlgirl (Jul 15, 2002)

Actually my ds was breastfed by my friend Elizabeth this past week. My dh had a Dr.'s appt, and left ds with a bottle of expressed milk. My ds will usually take bottles very easily, but that day he wasn't interested at all. Out of desperation she popped open her shirt and ds latched right on. She called me at work to 'confess' what she had done.

I didn't care, I was actually thouched that she cared so much for my ds to do that for him.


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## charmarty (Jan 27, 2002)

I think I would.Only if all parties agreed.My IRL friend just found out she has cancer.She has a 2.5y/o and a 3month old baby.She has to go out of province for her treatment for 2 weeks,and she cant take her children.Hre dh is staying at home with them.His mom wil be there to help,and of coarse I and other friends will help out.But her baby is BF.She doesnt have enough time to pump for all 2 weeks,so she said regretfully they will have to give her formula.I took the oppertunity to tell her I would gladly pump for her.BUt I know they have rarely given baby a bottle and baby still (of coarse)loves the breast.What I really want to tell her is I would nurse her baby for her while she is gone,but I do not believe the thought of such thing has even crossed her mind(wet nursing)But I cant get out of my head her little baby needing the coooomfort of a breast.It will be hard enough for all parties to be away from each other,but the baby find so much comfort in the breast.What to do?


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## NewMa (May 2, 2002)

ASK HER!!


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## youngnhappymamma (Feb 3, 2002)

I have never had the opportunity, but would bw glad to nurse another's baby. And if there were ever any reason that I couldn't bf I would feel so appreciative if someone bf mine!.....but would probably feel better about it if it were my sister or something.

charmarty- I hope you talk to your friend about it! I know that if I were in a situation similar to hers I would feel relieved to have a close friend help out in such a loving, giving way, and also worry less about not being with my baby. Let us know how it goes!


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## lisamarie (Nov 19, 2001)

Charmarty~

I would also ask your friend. If I was in your friends position, I would feel very touched that someone cared so much to nurse my baby. Good luck and keep us posted!

Warmly~

Lisa


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## Tanya_Khosh (Jul 16, 2002)

I dont think I would have a problem bf another babe but I think it would be emotionally hard for me to have my babe bf from another...

Its funny, kinda on the same note...just last week I was at a bf friends house and my son woke up hungry and was crying. I was moving as fast as I could to get my overalls unlatched, shirt up, etc. and my friend (in mid conversation) automaticly snatched up her bf daughter and started rapidly tearing at her own clothes to feed her girl before she realized hers was not hungry, mine was!:LOL

This is the same friend that almost fed anothers formula fed babe in the middle of the street w/o thinking because babe was crying

Gotta lover her!









Thinking on it, I would for sure feed her daughter...I would let her feed mine if for some strange reason I couldnt, my babe is 6 mo. and WONT take a bottle of EBM or anything else for that matter! So I really would not have much choice but I would feel hurt even though I know it is not rational.


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## snailmama (Apr 13, 2002)

Just 2 evenings ago we went to the park with my baby's father and his friend Rick & their daughter Gwen.
On the ride there she was screaming! I asked if he wanted to stop to get her some water because he FORGOT her formula! But, insted he gets her Dole juice, which is only 20% juice and gives her that! She screamed even more then.
She enjoyed the 20 minute walk, because the park was closing... my son fell asleep on the walk...
on the way home Gwen started screaming so loud! Her dad, Rick gave her an empty bottle and she was sucking on it! I was so sad! I couldn't believe he did that!
I poured the 4oz. of expressed breast milk that my son didn't finish into her bottle and she fed herself and fell asleep.
She is 9 months old.
Expressed Milk Saves the Day!
I exclusively pump and my son is 13 months old and won't feed himself a bottle yet!
Well,
I am happy she got some proper nutrition.
Yes,
I would breastfeed a hungry baby or give them expressed milk if they were formula fed and had no formula!


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## lighting_goddess (Jun 13, 2002)

I would have loved if someone would have nursed my dd while I had to work, instead of giving her expressed milk, or formula, but not an option, I just think of the special bond that the caregiver would have with my little one and I think it would be great. A baby can never have too much love right?!!!!


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## charmarty (Jan 27, 2002)

Of coarse I realize I have to ask her!Thanks for the lightbulb moment Newma.
I just dont know how!She is a client that I have had foe about 7 years.We do not see each other outside of haircuts every 6 weeks.We do get along great tho-Also she is not the AP type KWIM?
I talked about it with my dh tonight,and he said that if I offered to pump for her,and she hasnt given me the go ahead to do so,and with her leaving in 2 days hes guessing she isnt going to ask me to pump.
This subject is a biggie.It is very difficult to bring it up to someone who arent like minded like we are.


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## rwikene (Jun 10, 2002)

My mom and her friend "switched" babies sometimes. My mom's friend's ds is 3 days older than me, so if one of them needed a break or was going to be gone, the other would nurse. This was a great benefit to me because her friend had large breasts, ate much healthier than my mom and had more milk....so needless to say I was one happy baby









Her son wasn't so lucky, my mom is very small chested...so he spent most of his time rooting around trying to find the nipple









I would bf another child in a hearbeat....I would feel betrayed if anyone else bf my dd....but in a pinch I would rather have hurt feelings than a hungry baby. I guess it would really depend on who it is....I would let a close friend do it, or even a cousin...so I don't know. If I was sick I would much rather my dd get breastmilk....duh









Rachel

BTW I have a very close relationship to that woman who nursed me....she says I am the daughter she never had (she has 3 boys), and I am very close with her sons still too....


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## umbrella (Jul 25, 2002)

I think that wet-nursing is a GREAT idea in many circumstances. However, unless there was an emergency situation, I would not nurse another child without expressed permission.

I too have thought of the abandoned baby scenario, but my question has always been, once the authorites arrive, could I get into some kind of trouble for nursing a strange, abandoned baby?

As for my own child, if it was necessary, I would absolutely prefer her to have breastmilk over formula. But I would be livid if someone ever nursed her without my permission if there were other options available. There are so many things to take into consideration, and no other woman can make that kind of decision when it comes to my child.


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## cinnimonorange (Jul 19, 2002)

-Yes I would breastfed another child. In fact my sister and I had our babies a week apart and we both breastfed. When the kids were about 7 mo old my sister became pregnant again and her milk started to dry up. I tried to nurse her daughter but she wanted nothing to do with it. I don't know if it was because she was too old and didn't want a foreign nipple or what. But I am sure that my son would nurse from just about anyone! After she wouldn't latch on I pumped milk for her and she drank it out of a bottle. I figure it dosn't matter how the child gets the breast milk as long as they are getting it.


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## fraya (Apr 13, 2002)

I think it's great to hear these wonderful stories about women sharing their bounty with others. I have just started pumping for donation myself.

Although EBM definitely is way superior to formula or cow's milk, I just have to comment (off-topic) that my understanding is that there are some advantages to nursing directly from the breast over consuming EBM from a bottle. A couple ...

-- If a baby comes in contact with a germ, s/he sends that germ to the nursing mother the next time she breastfeeds. Within about 2 hours (the average time between nursings), the mother makes an antibody specifically for that germ and sends it back to the baby/child the next time s/he nurses. A child receiving EBM still receives numerous immunities, but this system doesn't work quite in that way for the child.

-- People who are nursed have fewer orthodontic problems because the mouth and jaw develop differently when nursing at the breast vs. from a bottle.

Of course, the list of the advantages of EBM over non-breastmilk is enormous. I just thought I'd mention that direct nursing does have a few advantages even over EBM, from what I understand.


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## KakuChan (Apr 16, 2002)

One other benefit to the babies I don't think anybody has mentioned is the increase in immunologic benefit for babies. When babies are passed from mama to mama in the village, they are receiving the full antibody protection from each of them. Imagine how much stronger their immune systems could be if they nursed from lots of different moms!

One of my best friend's daughter asks me to nurse her all the time (she is so loving to me, and such an adventurer), but so far, my son has not been down with thte idea (they're both 2.5 yo). But we have agreed that we wouldn't hesitate to nurse each other's kids in an emergency.


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## fraya (Apr 13, 2002)

Yes, somebody mentioned a book called the Red Tent, I believe, which talked about the commonality of community-wide nursing. And that was exactly what I thought (and posted in response) -- what a great way to spread immunity. It's really fascinating.

A friend of mine was explaining that prior to formula, vaccines for things like pertussis weren't necessary because breastfed babies received the immunity from their mamas. And if they nursed long enough, by the time they were finished nursing, they were old enough to handle the pertussis (if they got it) easily, like a bad cold. And then the females would have the immunity to pass along to their children. Wow! But then with the introduction of formula, babies weren't getting that immunity from their mamas, so they were susceptible to it at young ages when it can be life-threatening. So they developed the vaccine.


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## flminivanmama (Nov 21, 2001)

another benefit to nursing over bottle feeding is visual development...

I would do it and I would love it if someone else could do it for me if there was (g-d forbid) a need.


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## echodonn (Jul 18, 2002)

just call me a wet nurse! WHen my baby looks at me with those wonderful loving and trusting eyes I will regret the day weening comes into my vocabulary. My niece at 5 months loves for me to nurse her when I babysit because I think I have more milk than her mama because Ana doesn't eat solids yet. I think it's wonderful how easily consoled a child is if they nurse the suckling is so rhythmic. It reminds me of breathing patterns you can use to ease pain.


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## ebaby (Aug 22, 2002)

Wow! I love this board. My ds had trouble when he was new and we couldn't figure eachother out. So, my sister visiting ffrom another state nursed him, I cried because she made it look so easy, but that let me sleep, and helped show me what would work better for the itty bitty one. He did great and will still nurse from her when we go visiting. The last trip her ds nursed from me. (looked at me 'funny', did it anyway)








thanks for all the input & honesty.
K: momma to ebaby


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## mellie-bellie (Nov 19, 2001)

A friend of mine nursed my ds when he was 2 days old. He had jaundice and my homebirth midwife urged me to use formula for a lil bit until the jaundice went away. I was TOTALLY against that idea so I had my friend come over and nurse my lil guy a few times. I've also nursed another baby too. My sis' newborn back in June. My sis was having a lot of trouble w/ getting her lil one to nurse, so I tried to get her to latch onto me and she nursed like a champ (still have no clue why the baby wouldn't stay latched to her mom for very long cuz she nursed from me for 30 mins).

I see no problem w/ nursing some other person's baby or vice versa. We're all humans, I'd prefer that a baby gets human milk over cow's milk.


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## Ruth (Nov 19, 2001)

I agree.

It makes more more incensed when I see a baby having artificial milk (with who knows what in it) than to think about a mom nursing a baby who isn't hers.


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## momnloveit (May 28, 2002)

i once nursed my sister's dd. i was at my mom's when she was tending her. i could tell she missed her mom, so i asked her if she wanted a num-num. she came right over for a snack. she gave me kisses and hugs until her mom got there! the stuff is so great and i have so much id give it to anyone!


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## MammaV (Jul 13, 2002)

I'd also nurse someone else's baby. The concept of the wetnurse is thousands of years old. In some cultures, grandmothers will lactate and nurse their grandchildren. What a wonderful gift we can give other children. I think that if all parties are in agreement, wetnursing is great. After I had dd, I had complications and needed surgery. I wasn't able to nurse my newborn for 5 hours! I kept asking if there was a milk bank or donated colostrom. I was devistated to find out that there wasn't. The LC was no help and told me to supplement with formula. I refused at first, but by the next day my dd had lost 10% of her weight and I had the Ped, my nurses and the LC bullying me with formula. I caved. I didn't know anyone in LLL and wasn't even given the option to call a LLL leader. I'm sure she would have known someone willing to share with my DD. I'd gladly nurse someone's baby.


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## ignit (Aug 15, 2002)

I saw a woman leaving the supermarket with a TINY baby maybe two weeks old, a case of pre-mixed bottles of formula, and a case of Slim-Fast cans. I wanted to take that baby away from her, take it home and nurse it. We live in a fairly small town and that baby will probably be in my son's class in school - I wish she could have the same start in life my son has.


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## Meiri (Aug 31, 2002)

In a heartbeat.

I'd prefer if the baby was someone we knew, but a baby in need is a baby in need to me._{Though I suppose if it was a foundling situation I would pump until tests came back that the baby had nothing communicable and dangerous.}_ Back when DS finally completed weaning, I'd still get a letdown feeling when news stories about babies would come on.









One of our good friends was willing for me to nurse her little boy, rather than use any of the precious and hard-won ebm stash, but the need never arose when I was helping her out by watching him.


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## Sustainer (Sep 26, 2002)

I breastfed my niece, but I was careful to ask both of her parents first. They were fine with it. My niece seemed to be fine with it, too. Milk from the child's own mother is best of course, but second best is human milk from another healthy, drug-free mother. Milk from a different mammal, even if it's modified to be more like human milk, is a distant third.


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## strawberryblonde (Oct 8, 2002)

When I was 6 weeks old, my parents went on a camping trip with his extended family. My Dad's sister was nursing her 1 yr old DD and Mom was exclusively bf me. Dad took Mom on a very long hike w/out me, she was leaking all over. My Aunt nursed me and I took just enough to cure the hunger because she wasn't Mom. My Mom might have been alittle jealous but she never let on when she would tell the story. Mom was thankful I didn't have to go hungry and she would not have been happy about a bottle. Five years down the road Mom was a wetnurse to her nephew (different Aunt) who was about 5 mths old. His Mom's milk was drying up (found out she was PG, later) and he was not tolerating formula, he was losing weight. They moved in with us for about 3 weeks so Mom could bf him (my sis was about 1). He gained weight and my Aunt felt less stressed so her milk came back just abit. This gave her time to find a formula he could handle and to start him on some solids. My Mom always did feel a little closer to that nephew over the others. When I was 12, a cat in the neighborhood abandoned her kittens. Our dog, who had never had puppies, mothered these kittens, even nursed them. She actually got milk. This is when I became convinced that adoptive mothers could bf. With all of this childhood background, it's no wonder I wouldn't mind bf another child. I wouldn't want another bf my newborn (the bond is too intense at that point) unless I absoluely couldn't, only to avoid formula. I would be open to someone taking over duties with an older toddler though







. I have to really think to make sure that I don't lift my shirt for other babies, especially if they nuzzle.


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## Wooby (Oct 8, 2002)

I agree with what some of the other mom have said. I would only do it if both mamas were close enough to be truly comfortable with the situation. Then again, as I type this, isn't it the babe whose needs should come first? If you had run out of EBM, I certainly think that nursing him would be your only option. Indeed, it would be much better than a cold plastic nipple in the first place!

I do have several friends who have nursed each others babes. They reported that it only worked for them before the age of about 4 months, then the babies only wanted mom!

Interesting topic...


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## tracymom (Mar 11, 2002)

One of my IRL life friends had a baby due within a week of her sister's. They have a on/off sister relationship: close, but very competitive. My friend is the older and her sister was angry at her at first because she said "it's the first time in my life I'll have all Mama's attention, and you do this!" As it ended, the younger got preeclampsia and they took the baby nearly 8 weeks early, then my friend a month later had her baby 4 weeks early after a month and a half of bed rest.

The younger sister with the earlier preemie had to finger feed, then feed EBF and finally she learned to suck and eventually refused all bottles. The older sister, my friend, also struggled with BF (she had failed at BF with her older child) and succeeded beautifully. Neither one came to LLL with me more than once, but I kept them supplied with material and moral support as best I could (I had had my DS#2 and struggled through our BF relationship and they had witnessed all this).

My friend called me up to share something a few days after it happened. Her sister fell ill suddenly and her husband took her to the hospital while they left the baby with her mother. Baby was crying inconsolably, grandmother trying to feed a bottle, cup anything, and finally in desperation she called her other daughter, my friend, and asked if she would nurse her. She immediately agreed, though apprehensive about how it would work, mom brought her over and baby latched right on, ate up, and fell asleep happily!

My friend called me and told me that she had often wondered why they had gotten PG at the same time and had the fights and all, and it was while feeding her niece that she realized the purpose of it. She really felt that it had all led up to that moment when she was able to help her when nobody else could. I got tears in my eyes when she told me, it was so beautiful.....


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## applejuice (Oct 8, 2002)

It is called wetnursing.

One of the oldest professions in the world.

Women of lower classes often did this for pay for women who could not or would not breast feed their own child. It was a superior thing to do compared to giving the babe cow's or goat's milk, but of cours not as perfect as its own mother's milk which for a variety of reasons was not available.

Every mother is a working mother.


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## seraph (Sep 11, 2002)

I would do it if we had had a discussion about it first and it was okay with both of us, but I don't think it's fair or right to nurse another mama's baby without her permission and I wouldn't want my baby nursed by someone else without a discussion beforehand. I'm not a mama yet (EDD 3/1/03) but I used to have a roommate who was a new mama and I would stay with her baby in the mornings when she went to the gym. Occasionally I would offer her baby my breast (I had permission) if she was unconsolable and she would pacify on me even though I didn't have any mik for her. Eventually the baby outgrew the need to suck quite so much and could be comforted in other ways, but it was a good experience all around while it lasted.
I like the idea of wet nursing, but in this culture we are pretty weird about bodily fluids, so there's not a lot of understanding "out there" for it.


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## seraph (Sep 11, 2002)

I've been thinking about my post above and I want to apologize for sounding judgemental for saying I didn't think it was right or fair to do without asking the baby's parents. I didn't really think about it in the context of an emergency or anything like that, I think in an emergency or even in a pinch, it's a very generous thing to do. I've been learning so much from all the mamas out there, parenting issues I've never even thought about. Thank you.


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## Piglet68 (Apr 5, 2002)

I have been enjoying reading this thread. Until I read the story about the daycare worker getting in trouble for feeding one of the babies in her care, I had never even thought about this issue. I was surprised that my first feeling upon imagining someone else nursing my baby was an intense jealousy and revulsion, like that of imagining my husband with another woman.

But I can get past that feeling, which I think is quite natural given the intense connection between mother and child. I know that wetnurses used to exist before formula, and that in some tribal societies it is common for women to nurse each others' babies.

And all I have to do is think about what I would rather have for my baby: I would much rather she get BM from somebody else than ever get formula.

Wonderful thread!


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## MysticHealerMom (Oct 7, 2002)

I would do it in a heartbeat, if everyone was ok with it. I'd never presume, but after reading some of this, I didn't realize people would get jealous - I'm sensitive to that.

When I lost my babe, my milk came in and I had to bind my breasts w/a tight bra to make it go away. Sounds awful to say. And I was just so sad, I wished I could have just fed someones baby, even for a little while. I didn't think to ask at the hosp. It took weeks to get my breasts to stop leaking. It was an awful reminder and so uncomfortable. I wouldn't have expressed it, tho. That may sound uncharitable, but to me that just wasn't the point. And they say bf'ing helps with PPD. It makes me think of Like Water for Chocolate, where she willed her breasts to feed her sisters (?) baby, and she did. It's food and love, I think we have enough to share.


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## flminivanmama (Nov 21, 2001)

MysticHealerMom - that reminds me of the end of Grapes of Wrath where she nurses the old man after her baby died.


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## Ruth (Nov 19, 2001)

MysticHealerMom,

You are a saint to have wanted to nurse someone else's child when you lost yours.

Flminivanmama and MysticHealerMom,

Those are two TERRIFIC movies.


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## MelMel (Nov 9, 2002)

I dont see the jealousy or intimacy aspect of it at all, i think thats making bf a 'private', ''uncomfortable'' act, that fosters the squeemish feelings society has towards it.

I would bf another child, and wouldn't mind if someone fed my dd. It has always been that way, in cultures and tribes, and even with wetnurses, as many have pointed out.

I love and adore my dd, but I dont see bf as a bonding, intimate, private act IN MY OPINION...i would never compare someone feeding my child to another woman being with my dh...(so help her)

I just see it as feeding my kid...I would rather (as should anyone) my child be fed on the breast, with human milk....as it should be.

maybe i'm not as mushy sweet as i should be...but i'm still a new mama, it may take awhile...









mammav, that sucks that even the LC couldnt and wouldnt help to support you and your child with tracking down colostrum or milk...ugh









i never saw like water for chocolate..i'll netflix it, it sounds good already...


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## Sustainer (Sep 26, 2002)

I think bf is intimate bonding, but not in a way that has to be private like sex. I don't think there's anything wrong with another woman having an intimate bond with the child. You're right, she's just feeding the kid. It's a completely wholesome kind of bond, always positive and nourishing. It's an open, innocent intimacy, like friends hugging. It's about security and snuggling, as well as nutrition. It's warm and caring and the best way to express love. Sorry if this post is too fuzzy for you. : )


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## Maribel (Feb 9, 2002)

Like it's been mentioned, it's very common in other countries. My sister (who's nearly 30 years older than I) fed one of her baby cousins when he was ill. My sister had loads of milk and was always leaking. When our aunt couldn't supply milk, her son went ill with the different types of milk they tried in those times. She was desperate and asked my sister to nurse him. My sister immediately did. She did for over a week, he got better and life went on. She now lives in the US and he still in Mexico, but they have a very close bond. Of course, not like mother and child, but there is definately something there. When we visit, he's always one of the first to come see her. Of course, he knows the story and that alone may be reason for his affection, but still, it's sweet.

So, yes, in a heartbeat, I'd nurse another baby if it was asked or needed.


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## chiedza (Nov 8, 2002)

My friend and I have nursed each other's babies. A problem, arose, though, when my son began to prefer my friend's breasts! My letdown is really strong and sometimes gags him, so he liked to eat from her better. We had to stop for this reason.


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## Axis (Jun 20, 2002)

I would without even having to ponder the idea, it seems very natural to me although I have never done it. The idea seems like one that would just seem logical.

I would also like to know that I would have a friend who would do the same for my baby if I was ever in an emergency and was separated from my baby. Of course it would be someone who's lifestyle I knew was similar to my own and that they were also comfortable in nursing my baby. I would think this would be the optimum situation. It would be like having a back up wet-nurse of sorts


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## shematrix (May 9, 2002)

No. I haven't and never would. I would not want my daughter nursing from anyone elese either.

TM2


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## ebaby (Aug 22, 2002)

TM2 what is it that bothers you about it? "no and Never would" is pretty definate. I was just wondering, not trying to offend you.

My sister and I have (as I posted before) and she is coming to visit this month and we plan to have her nurse for me so my dh & I can go out for an evening. (that may sound selfish but due to baby nursing schedule, not taking a bottle AT ALL it is the only way if we are gonna go anywhere for more than 3 hours especially at night)
Breast is always best in my opinion. I would only switch with family or someone like family. Mama-milk is a precious gift we give our children by design so it is always best to be mom with her own child. I would rather my sister nurse him than try and give him some man-made fomula.

K: BabyE'sMom


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## Sustainer (Sep 26, 2002)

According to the World Health Organization,

Breastfeeding is best;
The mother's own milk expressed and given to her child some other way is second best;
The milk of another human mother is third;
and artificial milk is a distant fourth.

"We need to keep this clear in our own minds and make it clear to others. 'The next best thing to mother herself' comes from a breast, not from a can. The free sample perched so enticingly on the shelf at the doctor's office is only the fourth best solution to breastfeeding problems."

--from:

http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/8.../language.html


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## Wooby (Oct 8, 2002)

Bravo!!!!


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## mama2jonah (Jun 27, 2002)

I have two friends who had trouble bfing. The first one developed a horrendous case of mastitis in both breasts. She was incredibly ill and needed sleep desperately. So I stayed with her and treated her mastitis with herbs and poultices while (with her permission) I nursed her baby. This went on for two days until she felt human again and was able to get a hospital grade electric breast pump. It took her baby eight weeks to learn how to nurse from her breasts, but she persevered and eventually it worked.

My other friend also had trouble bfing and when I got to her house to see how she was two days after the birth, her baby was weak and dehydrated because she hadn't been able to get any milk. With her permission, I bfed her baby because I was really worried about her condition, and I knew breastmilk was the only thing that would quickly bring her back to normal. I also did it to help the baby learn that milk really does come out of breasts, and that she could nurse from her mamma! I think wetnursing a baby who is having trouble with her own mamma's nipples is valuable because the baby learns that breasts are for nourishment, and the mamma learns that her baby is not defective and can bf. All that is usually needed is to get rid of the engorgement and soften up mamma's nipples.

I think nursing other's children in certain situations is the only logical compassionate thing to do. Bfing is nourishment. It is not such an intimate act that it can't be shared. No matter what, breast is best.


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## shematrix (May 9, 2002)

Ebaby,

Because I am not comfortable with that idea. No and never are strong words and I mean them.

I'll be flammed for this, but I would rather my dd have formula than nurse off someone elese.

No offense to anyone on this thread who would do otherwise. Just not my thing.

TM2


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## ebaby (Aug 22, 2002)

TM2
Thanks. I respect that you feel that way.
Just a different route than me. I commend you for your truthfulness.

I am not sure if I put this on earlier post or not but the first time ds nursed from my sister I cried and cried (felt betrayed) but I had to do something, Babe had an aweful stomach problem and "expert doctor" said all formula particles/proteins were too big for his tummy to handle, and I was having all kinds of trouble getting him to latch onto such engorged breasts, damage on the nipples was severe. (I still have scars 9 months later) I had not slept for two weeks etc. It worked for us.

This time (in two weeks) it is really so dh and I can go out together without babe in tow. We haven't been able to do that.

Interesting that we all can be successful & fantastic Moms doing things various ways!!

K: BabyE'sMomma


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## Sustainer (Sep 26, 2002)

TNmom2, if another mother pumped breastmilk, would you object to your baby drinking it from a bottle? I'm just trying to figure out if it's the milk itself that bothers you or the process.


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## shematrix (May 9, 2002)

I answered the OP questions. I am not going to get into semantics of if, an or buts over my answer.

I will not be checking back on this thread anymore. Just because I have a different view I shouldn't have to keep answering questions about why.

Have a good day.
tm2


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## Sustainer (Sep 26, 2002)

Well, since she's not going to read this thread any more, I guess there's no point in my explaining that I meant no offense. I was just asking a simple question. I was trying to understand her point of view. I thought that's what discussion boards are for.

For the record, my question was not a point of semantics. My question addressed the very substance of her comment.

I guess I'll never know if it's another woman's milk that's objectionable or another woman's breast. Does anyone else on this thread have a guess as to which thing you think it is that some people object to? I really just would like to understand the other point of view.


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## mama2jonah (Jun 27, 2002)

Devrock, I could never speak for another person, but I think I can understand why another mom wouldn't ever want someone else to nurse her baby, even though I don't feel that way myself.

I think when the issue is that emotionally charged for a woman, there are some attachment and jealousy issues at work. Many women just don't want to risk exposing their baby to potential pathogens in another mother's milk, but when you say 'no, never, not even my own sister,' I think it's more emotional than physical.
And I think this is more common with new moms than with moms with nursing toddlers since the mother-baby connection is so intense and close during the first months.

But I want to emphasize that I could never presume to know for sure why another mom would be so against wetnursing. She must have her own very personal reasons.


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## DiaperDiva (Jun 30, 2002)

WOW! Poor Dev.









Perhaps Tennessee mom was having a bad day? I know I get defensive and read things the wrong way when I am feeling crappy









Hope she feels better soon


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## CollegeMama (Oct 31, 2002)

I don't think I could, but then again, I'm one of those new mommies. My babe is only 4 months. Now, I would probably be able to nurse another child, especially if the child really needed m.m. but for emotional reasons I could not have someone else bf my child.
Marcy


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## angelfromalasaka (May 19, 2002)

have and would.......
my sd has a son 10 weeks younger than ours. she saw how great it was for our first so she did bf him. she had some issues with him having to stay in the hospital longer so I gave her some ebm till she could pump. when she came hom she wanted to go out so i gave her some morre. think maybe 100 ozs or so overall. after she weaned him at 3 months I was watching him and he wouldnt take abottle so i nursed him cause i had no idea what to do. he did settle down .
it was a shame didnt didnt last long.....
angel mom to grace 5/12/99 and still nursing fool drew 25 months.


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## cmnt2c (Nov 5, 2002)

Hi all.....

I'm in the process of doing just this! A very good friend of mine had a baby 3 weeks ago. She must return to work for 6 days to train her replacement. Yes, it stinks, but in order for her to receive her bonus for the year..blah blah blah..

Anyways, after her both her mom/dh tried unsuccessfully to give the babe a bottle of ebm, she called me in tears. We had talked at legnth about various options - baby cup, teaspoon, syringe etc.....and, I also "put out there" the option of nursing him myself. *I'll be the one keeping the baby for the time she's away..

So, long story short - she brought the baby by last week to spend some time with me, and to see if he would even latch....she was SOOOOOO greatful that I'd even be willing to try ! And...well, whaddy'a know ? Little man latched on like a champ - nursed both sides for 10 mins each, let out a big burp, and promptly went to sleep....it was amazing !

What was also wayyy cool, was how open she was to all of this. We have been friends for a while..and well, I wasn't even sure that she'd be interested in it. I always told my dh that I'd nurse another youngin' if need be.....she is TOTALLY for this and we decided that although she'll still pump at work to keep up her supply, she's not going to even attempt the bottle again since it's for such a short period of time - I'll just nurse him the week he's here...

How cool is THAT ?


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## Ruth (Nov 19, 2001)

Very cool!


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## WickidaWitch (Feb 16, 2002)

Quote:

_Originally posted by Devrock_
*I guess I'll never know if it's another woman's milk that's objectionable or another woman's breast. Does anyone else on this thread have a guess as to which thing you think it is that some people object to? I really just would like to understand the other point of view.
*
For me it would be "another womans breast" that would be my problem. To me bf'ing was a very personal bond between me and my child. Maybe I also feel this way because I was very unsure of how long I would bf for and always felt like I was gonna fail at it and put him on a bottle before I or he was really ready.
That's just something Only *I* wanted to be able to give my child.
We bf'ed for 1 yr, by the way.

I enjoy reading all of these "wet nurse" stories though.
Those times must've made you all feel real special









Tammi
Mommy to Jonathan:mischeif 19mo and shawn 14.7yo


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## sevenkids (Dec 16, 2002)

I said yes, because, well, I've done it!
My SIL and I had our first 2 babies within weeks of each other. We lived in the same house. We often nursed each others babies so the other could go out to do shopping, spend an evening with DP, go to doctors appointments, etc.
My 2 youngest brothers and my first 2 are weeks apart too, so my mom and I nursed each others babies as well.
A close friend of mine got really sick and had to take medication that got into her breastmilk. The doctor suggested supplementing with formula and pumping her milk to throw away to keep up her supply, but her baby wasn't having any nasty formula. So I nursed her for the 10 days her mama was on meds.
Now, with hep B and HIV so prevelant in our society, I would have to be really sure about the woman who nursed my baby. That would be my only issue in this day and age......
While we were nursing each others babies, we just developed a special bond with each other and each others babies, it was actually kinda sweet!


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## charmarty (Jan 27, 2002)

WOW!I just wanted to say these stories are remarkable!You women are amazing,and so are the mothers of the children you wetnursed.


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## MommyT (Feb 19, 2003)

I voted that I would and I wouldn't mind if someone bf'd my child.


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## mamarsupial (Mar 20, 2002)

i would, depending on the circumstances. its such an intimate relationship between mother and child...but in some situations, i think it would be okay with me to nurse someone else's child or have someone else nurse mine.

there is a woman in oklahoma who is being charged with public indecency for breastfeeding someone's child at a daycare center. how disturbing. if it wasn't something normally done, then i would be upset...but to bring the police ito it??? very strange....

woman charged for breastfeeding other woman's child


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## sadean (Nov 20, 2001)

I haven't read all the posts, but I voted it would depend on who. I have nursed my sister's child and she has offered to nurse mine (though I never took her up on it...she is a smoker). I would nurse a few of my friends kids (in theory...none of them are nursing anymore) and would only be slightly squemish about them nursing mine (if my baby were desperate, I would be o.k. with a nip at another breast to tide them over). I trust that the friends I have in mind do not have anything communicable, I am just a little weird that way...


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## IfMamaAintHappy (Apr 15, 2002)

Just an aside here.... i nursed my friend's baby at 6 months and again at 7 months.

At 6 months, his level of understanding was "oh cool, a lady with milk! Hi nice lady!". At 7 months, his level of understanding was "who are you and why are you trying to nurse me? Oh but you do have milk in there..." He wouldnt take a bottle or cup. And I only had to be persistent about it the first time, after that during the rest of our adventure he would latch just fine.


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## Leonor (Dec 25, 2001)

I actually tried once, in a LLL meeting, but my child didn't like it at all and wanted breasts back


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## Momtwice (Nov 21, 2001)

I have not done it. I feel iffy about it...I can see doing it, but I also have American cultural hangups that make me feel uncomfortable about the idea. I would definitely pump for another child or a milk bank.

Someone once offered to nurse my baby, and not only was I personally uncomfortable, but with my history of supply problems with both babies, I did not want to replace a single feeding.

Haven't read the whole thread, but remember that in our culture we are taught to fear the milk of other moms, by the larger culture...what if she has HIV! What if she has hepatitis! What if she does drugs!







: If only we as a culture were taught to fear the KNOWN risks of formula as much.

In her book *Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom*, Dr. Christiane Northrup (OB-GYN) writes:

Quote:

the best time I ever had with my children when they were little(three month and two years) was when I went to visit my mother while my my sister and her children were visiting. My sister was also nursing a baby at that time, so when I wanted to go out for a while, she simply nursed Kate for me, *as women have been doing for centuries.* (Kate looked up at her, wide-eyed, for the first time, as if to say, "Who is this?" Then she settled right down to her meal.)....

...This was my only experience of what a loving tribe must have felt like.


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## julie128 (Jan 9, 2003)

I would and I have. A friend of mine was having trouble nursing her second child at first, so I offered to try. He was taking between five minutes and two hours to latch onto her nipple, but took about 10 seconds on mine. It really frustrated her, but at the same time, she now knew that he could do it, so it kind of gave her a second wind.
My daughter has also nursed from another mama. Another friend was watching her one evening, and her daughter and mine both attacked her on the living room floor. They were fighting each other for boobie. She had to call her husband for help. She was worried that I might be mad because she didn't have my permission, but I was amused by the whole thing.


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## Konur's Mom (Jun 28, 2002)

I would if it were a close friend also! I talked to a friend about it, who switched to formula after only a few days. We have talked about getting pg again at the same time and I said I would help her watch the baby for her and nurse him/her while my freind was at work. We are very close and I was so surprised when she said she would not want me to do that and seemed very offended.







:


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## mamaofthree (Jun 5, 2002)

This is amazing to me that this thread is still going on! WOW!!!









Since I started this my thought have changed a little... I would do it for sureif the mom was behind it. And I would allow one of my friends to nurse my child if the need arose. Of coarse none of this has come up! But I would be OK with it if it ever did, where as before I was kind of on the fence.

Thanks evveryone for you thoughts on this!

H


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## Pam_and_Abigail (Dec 2, 2002)

I wanted to bf my step niece when I was visiting her. When I'm holding her and she fusses, that's what my instinct tells me to do. However, I'm sure her mom would consider it "unnecessary", when she's got formula she can mix up. I could vent more about her, but this isn't the thread for that!
However, I also found that when I thought about it, I felt like nursing another child would feel like betrayal of my own daughter. Almost like cheating on my husband. So I don't know if I could do it. I think it's neat in theory though. DH always thinks it's a bad idea. We talked about it when it came up with step-sis. He reminded me about disease (which I am free of), and my allergies. He asked "Would you want to risk passing on your allergies to Rylee (niece)?" I said I didn't think nursing a few times would do that, if at all.

I think everyone immediately involved needs to agree on it before it is done, or have some mutual understanding


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## ebaby (Aug 22, 2002)

Pam
...IMHO just the opposite would be true, about the allergies
nursing passes on the antibodies in the milk
nurse away!
KAy


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## biberin (Jun 25, 2003)

I wouldn't want anyone to nurse my son, because he has multiple food allergies. In a pinch, my friend Kate could, because she is avoiding dairy for her daughter. In a real emergency, though, I guess milk from a healthy mother, even if it does have allergens, would beat the straight consumption of dairy or soy formula, which are both problems for my son.

When I have my next child, Kate's going to give me some milk in case we have to transport to the hospital and supplementation is necessary.

I would nurse another baby in a heartbeat, though not a stranger in a daycare!







Permission would be important, barring an emergency.

Biberin


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## Pam_and_Abigail (Dec 2, 2002)

About allergies.
When you have allergies, your body produces antibodies to things that aren't diseases, like peanuts. The point my dh had was that by bfeeding someone else's child, there was a risk of passing not only good antibodies, but those unnecessary ones that cause allergies. Studies to determine the risks involved with sllergies and milk are just coming out. I have decided that bm is still obviouly the best choice, but another mom may not want to take that risk.
I'm not saying bm is bad, not am I 100% sure that allergies are passed on in milk, it's just a point of view...


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## biberin (Jun 25, 2003)

I'm not talking about passing on antibodies, but about a mother passing on the *allergens* she has eaten through her breastmilk. Specifically, if I drink cows' milk, the casein passes directly out of my gut into my milk, and my son reacts to it. Same for a number of other things, which thankfully no longer cause a problem.

It had never occurred to me that if a mom was allergic to peanuts, say, that the IgE that causes the allergy could be passed through her milk to sensitize the child. My understanding is that it is the peanut protein via breastmilk that stimulates the child to produce his own IgE to cause a reaction.

Our situation was that the dairy shredded my son's little gut, making him susceptible to forty-leven other allergens. He is pretty much healed up now. I have no allergies whatsoever to foods.

Biberin


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## wildthing (Feb 16, 2003)

This is an awesome thread, and brings back such sweet memories!

I had a good freind, and after a traumatic brith followed by a stay in the NICU, her dd would not nurse. At about 2 weeks, the mom asked me to try and nurse her baby, just to see if she would. My friend then nursed my son, who was 6 weeks old. Her dd would not latch on to me, but my ds did latch on to her. As it worked out, her dd never nursed, but she pumped for 4 months., After about the first month, she couldn't keep up with her baby's demand, so I started pumping for her baby too. We called our babies "milk-sibs"
When she had her second baby, I nursed him once or twice as well. I didn't feel weird about it.
I am also a day care provider, and I have had MANY bf babies in my care. But there was only one family I would ever consider wet-nursing for. The mom found out she was pg, and since my nursling was a bit older, she needed to bring it up with me before my supply dried up. I was more than willing to do it, and she preferred to have her baby recieve breastmilk even when she was unavailable. She also had major supply issues with her first dd. Well, she lost the baby early, so it was never realized.
There are only certain people I could do it for.
I really would not have a problem with someone I knew nursing one of my babies. I would rather that than formula.


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## ~ATenthMuse~ (Mar 16, 2003)

This thread is an incredible read! I do think that if asked I would gladly nurse another babe. I wouldn't do so without permission.

I'm now just sad that I don't have a friend/sister that I'm that close to







!

Jealousy does come into mind when I think of someone else nursing my dd but it's better than formula!

I agree that my hurt feelings are better than my baby hungry!


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## moom (Jan 7, 2003)

Yes, but ONLY with the moms consent.
My ds (1.5) won't nurse my Sister, but her now 8 month old doesn't mind. (This works great for those long extended car trips, who ever is in the back with the kid's leans over the crying baby and nurses away. Its also very comforting to know if something ever happened&#8230; that he could still have his "ninis" and get the nutrition and love he needs. The family story is that when I was 2 and while my little sister was being born, our midwife (still today) nursed me, as she had a dd my age at home waiting. I have always thought we should have "mama milk" banks, but with all the scary blood born stuff it's just too risky. To bad!


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## biberin (Jun 25, 2003)

moom,

We do have mama milk banks! They follow much the same procedure as blood banks, using sterile collection and pasteurization to make sure the milk is clean. Babies have to have a prescription, and they have to be pretty sick or allergic to qualify. The milk is technically free, but the handling charges are $2.50 per ounce. Talk about liquid gold!


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## moom (Jan 7, 2003)

wow that is soooo cool!


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## Mom2Lily (May 18, 2003)

I think it would be great and I am so happy to read the wonderful stories in this thread. Seems, like I have found a new board to read!!!

I wish I had the chance to, but a girlfriend and I have decided that if something happened to us, we would share comfort "milky" with the child who lost its mother. Hopefully that will never come to pass.

Great thread ladies!!


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## natmother (Feb 5, 2003)

My husband and I did go out one night and leave my dd with my friend who also has a dd the same age and I did tell her if the only way to calm her down was to bf her then go right ahead. This is a friend that I know and trust highly. So she did nurse her and it did help and it made me feel better that I left her with somebody that could take care of her needs. Her and her husband might go out soon to get some needed alone time and and we made an agreement that we'll nurse eachothers kids if needed.
= )


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## babydoll (Apr 30, 2003)

I would not allow anyone else to nurse my baby - besides the obvious other germs she could pick up I do not want anyone else bonding with my baby in that way. While I agree anyone who feeds a baby regularly whether at the breast or with bottle will bond with them, I like the fact that I am the only one with Mama's milk. Also I would not nurse anyone else's baby because I would not want to expose my baby to germs from the other baby. For instance besides things like thrush, etc. Some illnesses such as the flu can be dormant in yoru system for a few days before you have symtpoms. You could think you are nursing a perfectly healthy baby and then a few hours later they come down with the flu or God knows what else. I am a SAHM but I plan ahead for my baby if I need to be away for a few hours I have a bottle or bottles pumped. As for an emergency - well I have a few bottles of my milk in the freezer. There are times (esp. during a growth spurt) that you might not have time/energy/enough milk to do this so plan ahead when you can.


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## Momma Aimee (Jul 8, 2003)

I am not pg yet; and doubt it will work out time wise; but I'd have no problem with feeding my sister's babes or having them feed mine.

It takes a village.

If there is a bond between the mothers...........

Aimee


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## fyrflymommy (Jan 20, 2003)

.


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## Paxetbonum (Jul 16, 2003)

I would totally bf someone else's child.

My SIL once left her bf 6 month old with me. Mine was 3 mos old and fast asleep. Her baby REALLY wanted to nurse and she was on her way home in the car. She phoned me to put some water in a bottle to console him until she got there. He was not fooled and just got fussier. I wanted to nurse him sooooooo badly, but didn't because his mother and I had this discussion when we were both pregnant and she was totally grossed out by the notion. I respected her wishes.

I have since then quite frequently wanted to nurse her child who she force weaned very early and put on cow's milk. The poor little guy really misses the breast. But again I have never done it.

My best friend has nursed my baby occasionally when i have left her with her. I have no problem with it.

It's funny how many nursing mother quit nursing because they don't want to be "tied down" but if more mothers nursed and people didn't mind sharing breasts and babies you could leave your baby with another bfing woman occasionally and not be "tied down" at all!

I agree that there is no replacement for yuor actual mother though and think this kind of arrangment is only for special circumstances.

One last story. A friend's mother who AP'd back before it was popular once promised to watch a friend's baby and bf it during the day while the mom was at work if the mom bf it the rest of the time. The mother was desparate and agreed and it worked just fine. This mother was a working mom who never pumped and breasfed because she had a wetnurse.


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## Ms.Doula (Apr 3, 2003)

I would both Nurse someone's baby, and I would greatfully accept someone willing to nurse mine. I am secure in the sense that *I* am mother to my children, they KNOW who is their mother, and I don't think that someone feeding dd a few times will negativly affect our relationship! YES, BF is a form of bonding... but only ONE FORM OF BONDING. (and in *MY OPINION* one that is only SO Fragile in the early weeks) I would put needs of my child before the "security issues" I may have. (I am admitting It would be slightly uncomfortable all round)

I would trust/know the other mother (especially the one feeding MY babe) OR want to know about her lifestyle, nurtition and medical history first.

I have REALLY enjoyed all these stories. Especially the one a page back that choked me up!


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## Sabrin (Apr 12, 2003)

Funny enough, a friend of mine (she just had her baby and I'm due in October) discussed this awhile back. We both have said "Absolutely!!"

I even quizzed my husband on what to do in the case of an ER...."yes dear, I know, take the baby to Charlotte..." Boy did I ever get the eye roll with that one!!







:

SO, YES I would and yes I would let!!


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## bouyant (Jul 28, 2003)

I wouldn't do it unless the childs life was in danger or something - unless absolutely necisary, like if a close friend died. My mom, however, used to trade off with another nursing mother when she wanted to go somewhere, without even thinking about it. I didn't know this untill she nonchalantly said something about me finding another nursing mom, so I could get out of the house more. I might not have been an exclusively mommy fed baby


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## Mahaylea (May 30, 2003)

No I wouldn't like to feed someone elses baby or have my baby fed from someone elses body..


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

I have really enjoyed reading this thread, although I haven't had the pleasure of catching up on every page... Wonderful to read everyone's diverse opinions!
Before I was a mama, I thought breastfeeding someone else's child was gross! But, as soon as I had my son and he absolutely refused every kind of bottle on the market, I realized that it might not be so bad for someone else to nurse him so I could have a moment's peace! My mom tried to have him latch on when he was utterly inconsilable while DH and I were at a wedding, but DS took 2 sucks and started crying again! He is so sweet, but overly attached to my boob, I'd say. LOL

My friends always say "Oh, you are so cute I'm going to take you home!" to my DS, and I always reply "Well, you'll bring him right back as soon as he's hungry unless you have milk in those boobs!" I think it would be great if one of my friends could nurse DS so DH and I could get away for awhile and not have to worry about whether or not DS will go crazy without access to the breast... But I don't have any lactating friends at the moment so that's out!

I'm so glad so many of you have positive feelings about nursing- I mean, when you have the milk why not share it, right?


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## WithHannahsHeart (Apr 22, 2003)

This is aquestion I often ask myself. I know that if it were a sister or close friend, I definitely would if there was a real need or emergency. But, most of themamas I know are a little conservative about such things, and I would never volunteer unless it was a dire emergency kind of thing. Now, I will say I ahve often been tempted to nurse others' babies, particularly in the gym care facility I work at; we often get bf babies (more and more lately, woohoo; I can always tell by how they nuzzle on me and their poops, lol







). And it is always abundantly clear to me when they need to nurse, even if mom says she has just fed them, and I wish I could do it for her instead of having to bother her, though obviously I wouldn't.


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## padomi (Dec 28, 2002)

Absolutely I would, and I wouldn't mind if someone else bf my dd. I think I'd make sure the mom was okay with it though, before I bf someone else's child.


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## mommytokr (Jul 14, 2003)

Hmm I do not know probably would not let any one bf ds and would I I do not know


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## beachrock (Apr 26, 2003)

I have nursed a friend's baby, and I would do it anytime, with the mama's permission, of course.

My friend got bad nursing advice from the nurses in the hospital and she didn't bf often enough. When her baby became jaundiced, the docs gave her all the terrifying worst-case info (brain damage, etc) if she didn't supplement with formula (her milk was not in). So I moved into their house for two days and nursed the baby. We ALWAYS had the baby nurse from mama first, and then she would latch on with me. It worked great, the baby gained weight and thrived, and her mama's milk came in 5 days after the birth.

A win-win situation, I would say.


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Awesome story, Deidre.
You are a dear friend, I'm sure.


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## CapoeiraCristao (Oct 8, 2004)

I read every post in this thread today, and it helped me decided to register at MDC (so did all the MDC Xanga moms!!)

ANYway, Just in case anyone stlil checks this thread, you're stories are AWEsome. I was thinking about this the other day, and was sure that I was WAY out there on my own. I knew that it was an age-old thing, but in our "new and highly sophisticated (and ignorant) culture" there are a LOT of great age-old things that have been snubbed. Anyway, reading the thread was great. Here's my take:

A few posts back, sevenkids said:
_I said yes, because, well, I've done it!
My SIL and I had our first 2 babies within weeks of each other. We lived in the same house. We often nursed each others babies so the other could go out to do shopping, spend an evening with DP, go to doctors appointments, etc.
My 2 youngest brothers and my first 2 are weeks apart too, so my mom and I nursed each others babies as well.
A close friend of mine got really sick and had to take medication that got into her breastmilk. The doctor suggested supplementing with formula and pumping her milk to throw away to keep up her supply, but her baby wasn't having any nasty formula. So I nursed her for the 10 days her mama was on meds.
Now, with hep B and HIV so prevelant in our society, I would have to be really sure about the woman who nursed my baby. That would be my only issue in this day and age......
While we were nursing each others babies, we just developed a special bond with each other and each others babies, it was actually kinda sweet!_

That was just AWEsome, because, that's what I want. Like idealy, I would love to find a small group of people (like Me and my husband, and 1 or 2 Really close couples - AP of course) and just, create a solid community. The idea of "family" has been heavily distorted and forgotten in this country, so I would Love to create a strong *family* for my kids. I'd be worried about leaving my kids with various people in my own family, because they dont understand AP, dont get where Im coming from. But to create this Unit of Mom, Dad, "Aunt(s)" and "Uncle(s)" would be priceless. We'd have a Village in which to raise our children. A _real_ family unit. There is no bond like boobs.

Anyway... this post will probably never be read, seeing as how it's YEARS after the birth and life of the thread... but i just felt like typing it out anyway.

Alrighty. Thanks for the reading!!


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## CapoeiraCristao (Oct 8, 2004)

...just testin somethin


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## Sustainer (Sep 26, 2002)

Wow, this is one OLD thread! I think my VERY FIRST POST is on this thread!

Any way...

There is a Yahoo group for those of us here who are interested in starting an intentional community:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MDCMamaCommunities/

(BTW, there's a forum here just for testing things. It's called Testing 123)


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## Evergreen (Nov 6, 2002)

Well, since I missed this thread the first time around, I will go ahead and answer now!
:LOL

I have breastfed someone else's baby, with permission when I was babysitting. The baby's latch was exactly the same as Dylan's and she nursed for about 40 minutes.

I would let someone else breastfeed Dylan if I had to leave her with a caregiver for any reason.


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## sagewinna (Nov 19, 2001)

I had to leave my 9 month old dd when I was going through a divorce and had to go to court a few times. My friend, who had a baby a few months after mine, nursed her. I felt so much better knowing my baby would be nourished and comforted while I was gone. I nursed her son after that, only got to once. The idea of it was strange, but once he latched on it was just like nursing my babe.

The same friend had surgery on her broken leg when her twins were a few months old and I was pregnant with my littlest. I latched on of the babies on to see if she'd be agreeable to nursing from someone else. She flashed me a big ol' grin! We came to the hospital with 2 friends who were nursing mommies to give them milk...

I also expressed some milk for a friend who had a newborn who was slow to gain weight.

Would do any of it again in a heartbeat. My circle of friends has talked about what we would do in the case of need, and all of us would nurse or have our babies nurse from any of the others rather than use other forms of feeding.


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## lioralourie (Aug 22, 2004)

Oh my gosh, I found this quite by accident but I am ALARMED that this discussion has gone on so long and nobody has thought about CMV. Cytomegalovirus is transported through breast milk. http://www.fsneo.org/JourClub/2-010.htm

If the birth mother did not give the baby antibodies in utero (that is, if the mother is CMV negative) and the baby contracts CMV through someone else's breastmilk, or saliva, etc, the result can be very serious. The strange thing is that most, but not all adults are CMV positive, having acquired CMV in toddlerhood or childhood with no problems.

However, if a pregnant woman gets her first exposure while baby is in utero, this is a real problem. Or, if a baby is born from a non-infected mom, and she gets infected later (and passes CMV through the milk) or the baby gets CMV too early in life some other way, this is also a really bad situation. There can be mental retardation and other major problems.

I would urge everyone to find out their CMV status, and the status of their nurslings' moms (or child's nurser's moms) and read up a little on CMV. http://www.wearsthebaby.com/articles/cmv.htm
All this being said, up until 1 week ago when I learned all this, I definitely would've nursed someone else's baby...


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## CortLong (Jun 4, 2003)

Yes, and it would depend on who it was probably.


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## hypatia (Apr 29, 2002)

I was just facing this dilemma a little while ago when I was holding SIL's crying three month old. I knew he was hungry and SIL probably wouldn't mind, but I felt bad just doing it without asking her. On the other hand, I also felt bad about holding this crying baby, having what would comfort him, and deliberately withholding that. I didn't nurse him, though.


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## LovinMyKids (Aug 3, 2004)

I would if it were my sister's baby


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## CapoeiraCristao (Oct 8, 2004)

Im not sure if I'd want to go for a Commune... I mean, it sounds cool and ive often thought of it, but I think I just want to form a "family" like, 2 or three like-minded couples... You know, just a small unit. ...sounds kinda communist but im not really trying to be. I just, when I grew up, it was just me, my mom, my dad, and my brother. Extended family was more of a theory than people I actually knew.... My parents were paranoid of all other people because they werent sure they had the same values... and it was just kinda lonely. I didnt have any sisters, only one brother, and we were all alone. So Id kinda like to have a little bit more of a family for my family.... you know? Cause my parents dont understand the whole concept of AP, and I'm sure I'll harass my brother to understand it, but we didnt really grow up close enough to where I'd feel comfortable like... living with or next door to him and his wife.... It's a bond that wasnt formed early enough to be relaxed.

Anyhoo... I dont really know any people that I'd share my family with right now, so who knows. Well, maybe my old friend Anna... we're pretty close. I dunno. We'll see!!


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## Thalia (Apr 9, 2003)

30 years ago, the group of parents who founded the church I now attend breastfed each other's babies. Their kids are now adults, and some of them just found out recently that they were breastfed by another mom in the church. I think some of them were a little freaked out by it (one mom had to make sure to tell her daughter that, "no, I did not breast feed the boy you are now dating when he was an infant").

My sister and best friend are due within one month of when I am due, and I would definitely consider it.


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## Sustainer (Sep 26, 2002)

Always gives me a thrill when someone bumps the thread that I first posted on.


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## Amris (Feb 27, 2006)

I want to know if earthmama ever breastfed that baby girl.

How heartbreaking it must have been to see that poor little dear longing so much for the loving and connection of breastfeeding after having been abandoned by her mother.

God bless that poor little dear one.


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## knowerofnada (Dec 4, 2006)

No effin way. Not ever.


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## sebarnes (Feb 2, 2005)

I have bf'd another baby and I'd do so again if a mom asked me. I worried it might be weird, but it totally felt completely normal.


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## Snowdrift (Oct 15, 2005)

I totally would (with the mama's permission/at her request, of course!).

I'll have to leave DD with another mama right around her bedtime once a week for three hours for a class starting next week and I've already asked that mama to nurse DD if she feels comfortable with it. I hope she does. I'd rahter my baby nurse to sleep and feel comforted rather than spend the night confused and upset and hungry. (She doesn't take bottle well any more.)


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## grypx831 (May 22, 2005)

No way.


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## tracymom (Mar 11, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *knowerofnada* 
No effin way. Not ever.


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## knowerofnada (Dec 4, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tracymom* 









Just what confuses you about my response, dear tracymom?


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## tracymom (Mar 11, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *knowerofnada* 
Just what confuses you about my response, dear tracymom?


It's effin decisiveness.


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## Amris (Feb 27, 2006)

To answer the question, I guess I have a double standard.









I would someone else's in a heartbeat (but only if asked to, never in secret), but I'd want to see bloodwork from someone to allow them to breastfeed mine.

I know for a fact that I haven't got any of the known communicable by breastfeeding diseases (or any others I know of)... I got tested before she was born just to be certain! So I've seen proof that I'm clean, even if I didn't know it for a fact on my own.

Someone else, though, I cannot be so certain of.

I know it's a double standard, but I can't help still feeling that way.


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## charligrl03 (Dec 27, 2006)

I believe I would do it too.







..if the opportunity came about







AND...I think there's a troll lurking around here







:!! I also would love to know what happened with earthmama and that baby!


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## AmieV (Mar 31, 2005)

Truthfully before recently I thought the idea was fa-reaky. But my youngest DD doesn't take a bottle, and if I had a close friend or relative nearby that was up for it, I think I would be just fine with it if I could have a few hours off.

The urge to feed a hungry baby is strong. At a LLL meeting I went to recently, a mama was there having big time supply problems because she's a single mom working and going to school and not having time to pump as much as she needed to. Her baby was the exact same age as mine, and even though the baby wasn't with her (







: never did figure that one out, if you have supply issues, baby should be with you at all times when you can, but she this was her first kid) I have a bit of an oversupply issue and my baby spits up constantly all day long. All I could think of was how I could nurse that baby...it felt so wrong that I had so much milk my baby was vomiting it up all day while hers was getting formula. That said, she was pretty conservative anyway, and I cannot even imagine how weird and bizarre it would be to offer that the first time you met someone.









and wow, this is an old thread!


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## Amris (Feb 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *charligrl03* 
I believe I would do it too.







..if the opportunity came about







AND...I think there's a troll lurking around here







:!! I also would love to know what happened with earthmama and that baby!

Just because I have low posts, am I being called a troll, or did I miss something or do something wrong?


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## charligrl03 (Dec 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Amris* 
Just because I have low posts, am I being called a troll, or did I miss something or do something wrong?

absolutely not!!! I was definately not directing my post toward you at all!!! I'm sure this "knowledgeable person" knows who they are!


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## tracymom (Mar 11, 2002)

Well, I'm not a GA or anything, but I think it's a bit premature to say anyone's a troll. Just my $0.02 on that.







:


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## charligrl03 (Dec 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tracymom* 
Well, I'm not a GA or anything, but I think it's a bit premature to say anyone's a troll. Just my $0.02 on that.







:

I suppose...what do I know anyway...for all you guys know I'm the troll...lol guess I'll keep my opinions to myself for future reference...







:


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## Amris (Feb 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *charligrl03* 
absolutely not!!! I was definately not directing my post toward you at all!!! I'm sure this "knowledgeable person" knows who they are!

Oh, okay.







I kind of got the "nasties" from people on another board because I didn't toe the party line, so I was afraid I had somehow done a social gaffe here that I didn't know about.

I would have been dreadfully disappointed, so I'm glad to hear it wasn't me.









I'm just over sensitive from that other board, methinks.

Sorry about that!


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## Blucactus (Nov 20, 2006)

I would, but I haven't ever.


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## ndunn (Mar 22, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Amris* 
Oh, okay.







I kind of got the "nasties" from people on another board because I didn't toe the party line, so I was afraid I had somehow done a social gaffe here that I didn't know about.

I would have been dreadfully disappointed, so I'm glad to hear it wasn't me.









I'm just over sensitive from that other board, methinks.

Sorry about that!


Are you talking about from me on the other thread? I didn't mean to be nasty to you.


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## cfiddlinmama (May 9, 2006)

I voted yes. I've nursed my niece and pumped milk for her during a crisis she and her mom had. It was with her mom's permission. Barring an emergency, (meaning, if there was an emergency with the mom and I couldn't ask her permission) I would want to have the mother's permission first, but otherwise I don't have a problem with bf'ing someone else's child. I would definately do it again. If it was someone I was close with, I would be fine with my baby being bf by someone else. It would feel a little strange, but I would much prefer my baby get human milk than formula from a can!


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## cjuniverse (Sep 22, 2005)

Absolutely! I've always thought this would be a wonderful thing to do for a low-supply/working mom. I'd love to!


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## homewithtwinsmama (Jan 5, 2005)

I would nurse another's baby. My preemie got four days of ebm from a friend of mine who had a preemie who was going home to die (Trisomy 13). She had more milk pumped than he could eat and shared her prefect also preemie milk with us. The NICU about had a fit, but I signed a bit scary waiver so they would let me use it for her. I then shared my EBM leftovers once I got her nursing with a childbirth client of mine who had twins and nursing/supply issues when her boys had gastric trouble with supplemental formula. I had another student who had latching issues and her SIL who was nursing her third came over and nursed the baby for several days and taught the baby how to nurse better (nothing like experience). I think that our discomfort with this is part and parcel of our whole crazy sick culture of breast=sex.

Lorrie


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## NinaBruja (Jan 19, 2004)

i have one friend with who i have considered this but its not happening because of dietary concerns.
liesl has tried to nurse on her but she isnt vegan and i considered it, but veganism is important to me.

her son recently gave me a hungry for milk look but i had to tell him "sorry little guy, i eat things youre allergic to"

if something were to happen to me i can only hope that one of my friends would help liesl out and nurse her, vegan or not.


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## shanetedissac (Apr 26, 2002)

Yes, I have breastfeed a friend's baby. The mom was in a conference and I was with the baby in the hotel room, along with my toddler. The baby began to be unconsolable and I knew that mommy was not available. She latched right on and went to sleep soon afterwards.


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## knowerofnada (Dec 4, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tracymom* 
It's effin decisiveness.

My deciseveness that I would never allow someone else to BF my baby or vice versa confuses you?

Okee dokee, then.


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## knowerofnada (Dec 4, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *shematrix* 
I'll be flammed for this, but I would rather my dd have formula than nurse off someone elese.

No offense to anyone on this thread who would do otherwise. Just not my thing.

TM2









: I won't flame ya, because that's exactly how I feel. Whatever tickles your pickle, right??


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## Amris (Feb 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ndunn* 
Are you talking about from me on the other thread? I didn't mean to be nasty to you.

LOL, misunderstandings abound tonight.









Not at all, not at all. A whole other board somewhere else.

You weren't nasty to me at all, we simply had a (VERY minor) misunderstanding, which is to be fully expected on a messageboard.

No, I was made most unwelcome on another board when I said something that went against the typical advice given there. Nothing at all to do with mothering.com forums at all.


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## Potty Diva (Jun 18, 2003)

Immediately upon it being necessary.


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## Snowdrift (Oct 15, 2005)

No flames here, but curiosity. I'm maybe on the extreme end of milk-sharing enthusaism, even activism (I donate milk, I talk to strangers about donating milk, and I've invited a mama to nurse my baby when she watches her), but I'm curious about the rationale of those who wouldn't.

Is it a privacy thing--like the relationship part is perhaps more important than the nursing part of "nursing relationship"? Would you make an exception in the case of a newborn or a sick baby (in which case maybe you could think of it as medicine rather than milk?)? Do you feel the same way about sharing expressed milk?

Is it concerns about the possibility of communicable disease or illness?

It's not even really idle curiosity on my part. I tell a lot of people about milk donation in an effort to raise awareness and it would be really helpful to get an idea of how crunchy mamas who aren't into it feel about it.


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## abclan (Apr 18, 2005)

Yeah - I've nursed my neice a few times when she was a wee one. I loved the look she gave me before settling in . . like "Oh, I guess you'll do "

I wish I could find a good friend who would nurse my two year old!


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## knowerofnada (Dec 4, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *charligrl03* 
AND...I think there's a troll lurking around here!!....I'm sure this "knowledgeable person" knows who they are!

Darnit, Sherlock, you busted me.







:


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## momma earthical (May 21, 2006)

I voted yes, if it were necessary I would breastfeed any hungry child. On the other hand though I have to say that when it happened to me I was surprised at how upset and uncomfortable I was. Th e situation was when my very good friend came for my ds2's birth and stayed for 2 weeks after, she is older with adult children so no bm, and she would put my ds2 to her breast at every opportunity she got openly saying that she missed bf so much. It really upset postpartum me but I felt too uncomfortable and freaked out to say anything but the thoughts I was having were that I needed the baby to nurse to establish supply, and he was a sleepy baby so I didn't want him wasting his energy nursing fruitlessly (or milklessly)







I never did talk to her about it and it has never happened since, I became very baby possessive! I don't really think it's the sort of question that can have a straight yes/no answer, like so much else in life it can depend on the situation.


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## knowerofnada (Dec 4, 2006)

tie-dyed - I appreciate your curiosity, but really, it's all been said in previous posts. I agree with all the reasons given. BF'ing for me is a very intense, very personal realtionship between me & DD. It is much more than simple nourishment. And too, I have no control over what goes into the other body (and breastmilk)-- only control over what goes into mine. Like I said, whatever tickles your pickle. I just answered the survey, and apparently by doing so, confused one person and got called a troll by another person who has far fewer posts than I do. Amusing evening.


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## Amris (Feb 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *momma earthical* 
I voted yes, if it were necessary I would breastfeed any hungry child. On the other hand though I have to say that when it happened to me I was surprised at how upset and uncomfortable I was. Th e situation was when my very good friend came for my ds2's birth and stayed for 2 weeks after, she is older with adult children so no bm, and she would put my ds2 to her breast at every opportunity she got openly saying that she missed bf so much. It really upset postpartum me but I felt too uncomfortable and freaked out to say anything but the thoughts I was having were that I needed the baby to nurse to establish supply, and he was a sleepy baby so I didn't want him wasting his energy nursing fruitlessly (or milklessly)







I never did talk to her about it and it has never happened since, I became very baby possessive! I don't really think it's the sort of question that can have a straight yes/no answer, like so much else in life it can depend on the situation.

I think that you were right to be upset. You're right that you needed him on you to establish supply.

Furthermore, she did it without asking. It also sounds like she was intrusive about it, and frankly selfish. She wasn't even doing it for his sake, she was simply being narcissistic without regards to the need you and he both had to establish your supply.

Babies aren't toys.

I would have been highly offended, also. Not at someone else breastfeeding him, but the manner and attitude with which she did it.

Furthermore, she was taking over your bonding time with him. Which only makes it that much worse.

I personally think your displeasure is highly justified. I agree with you that in that case, it definitely is a matter of "case by case basis." If someone were breastfeeding my child as if she were a toy put here to allow her to do something she missed doing, I would be quite incensed. Particularly if done in such a high-handed, inconsiderate way.

In fact, I just got irritated and annoyed just reading about someone doing that. How incredibly intrusive and rude.


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## katiedidbug (Dec 16, 2006)

My MIL tried to nurse my SIL's kids. She obviously wasn't making milk anymore, she said she just did it to comfort them. That, I think, is weird and wrong. So, now everytime MIL is holding DS I joke and tell her to keep her boobs put away.
I would feel comfortable with a close friend. Also, I always think BM is the best option, and would rather him be nursed by someone than given a bottle of formula in an emergency situation.


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## newmommy27 (Apr 22, 2005)

I have a dear friend who how has a daughter that is 4 days older then Jack...She took care of Jack while I did some consulting...we would also baby swap so we could go to dr appt and out with our dhs every month or so...that said she nursed jack and I nursed her little one when ever it was necessary...It is not uncommon for me to be nursing Jack and her little one ask for milk and vice versa...

For us it feels totally normal and natural...I have also pumped and donated as I always had over supply and Jack would never take a bottle

-Lori


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## crayon (Aug 24, 2002)

I would, and I would let *some* people nurse my kids. For me it is all about health- so if the mama was a friend and I new she was not yucky I would be fine with it. I think I would feel a bit weird at first, as one always does with new things- but I would get over it- if my child needed it and they had it- go for it. I am also poly and if I had a partner that had a baby or if I had another one I would hope we would both be okay with nursing the non-birthed child.


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## caricandothis (May 24, 2006)

I would nurse another child and have thought of it often especially (as mentioned previously) when I'm in public and hear a little one screaming away and feel that if I could just snuggle and nurse that babe they would feel better.

My SIL is due for her first babe in May and since I will still be BFing then, the thought has crossed my mind a lot more. I would nurse my niece/nephew in a heartbeat if needed. I'm not sure how my bro/SIL would feel about that though.


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## RedWine (Sep 26, 2003)

In an emergency situation, yes, without hesitation.

In an non-emergency situation, yes, if I knew the child's mama would not object.


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## wawap (Jun 28, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RedWine* 
In an emergency situation, yes, without hesitation.

In an non-emergency situation, yes, if I knew the child's mama would not object.


That sums it up for me, too... (OK not right now, since it would be fruitless, but ideally speaking.







)

I would prefer to have a mama's permission, though because I take medications. They're all "safe" for nursing & I nursed my son while taking them, but I'd prefer to leave that up to the mama.


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## jane-t-mommy (Mar 24, 2004)

Yes! I babysat a close friends baby from 4 weeks to 6 mos. and he was either ebm fed or formula, after 4 mos. I really wanted to nurse him, but didn't think my friend would like the idea. Many times I held him while he cried for his mom, or more milk and ached to help, but his mom was very clear that her way was best (probably because she didn't have to listen to him crying half the day...)







:


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## ewe+lamb (Jul 20, 2004)

I voted depends on who - I have bf my sister's kids and she mine but beyond that I'm not sure, I wouldn't like just anyone to bf my kids I would have to be really close to them.


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## Mamma Christi (Dec 15, 2006)

I would do it for anyone in my family or any of my friends if I were able to (I'm having some BFing issues at the moment I'm trying to get resolved). It would probably depend on the situation if it was someone I wasn't really familiar with...


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## tracymom (Mar 11, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *knowerofnada* 
My deciseveness that I would never allow someone else to BF my baby or vice versa confuses you?

Okee dokee, then.

It was the word "effin," a loaded word, IMO, that stopped me in my tracks, coupled with no further explanation. I would think "vehemence" was the word I wanted, but I couldn't think of it last night. Your vehemence puzzled me. Your explanation to tie-dyed makes sense, though, and I thank you for the clarification. Pax.


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## Nicole77 (Oct 20, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mom at home* 
I think it's a great idea as long as everyone is comfortable with it.









: I would never breastfeed anyone's babe if I did not have the permission of their mother and I would be fairly unhappy if someone breastfed my kid without my permission. That said, I have certain people who know I would be okay with them nursing my kids (two friends and my sister) and I would not feel like they needed my permission for an specific nursing session.


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## Starr (Mar 16, 2005)

Not without any written or oral consent. To me if you are unsure on how the mother would respond, part of you knows she may be upset. I would not want anyone BF my DD, period. Unless it were a life threatening emergency or natural disaster. If I found out one of my friends did nurse my daughter without my permission I couldn't stay friends with her.


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## mudmom75 (Dec 29, 2006)

I don't think there is anything wrong with it, so long as all parties involved feel the same way. Before formula, if a woman was having nursing issues a wet nurse would help and no one thought anything of it. Imagine a society where everyone bfd and it was so natural. No strange looks in public when you want to feed your child. No one telling you that it's gross or disgusting. No one telling you that your 6 mos. old is too old to nurse because he's eating solids. sigh....


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## kaspirant (Apr 28, 2006)

I have. I would again. And right now because of milk issues myself I took the offer of a close friend to give my DS her pumped milk at DC because my pumping supply was horrible...and I was not pumping enough to meet his needs.

I understand those who feel the relationship issue is a big one...but the baby knows the difference between norishment and the MAMA!! I've nursed 3 other babe's in my lactating time...and while it was a different sort of thing...It's nothing like nursing my sweet nursling!


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## kozmickreations05 (Apr 8, 2006)

Did it for my bestfriend. Ds was 8mos and I was a dairy queen at the time







, and she had just given birth to her 2nd child and we were going on 1.5wks w/ out her milk coming in, so Inursed her babie after she'd nurse the colostrum


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## Maggi315 (Aug 31, 2003)

yes, I would, have done it. But I wouldn't do it without the mom's permission. I wouldn't want someone else feeding my baby without my knowledge (I probably wouldn't care, just would like to know).

I also just gave away a whole bunch of pumped milk to a friend that needed it for her grandchild.


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## alliteration (Dec 10, 2006)

I donated about a gallon of pumped milk to a mother who wasn't producing enough due to breast reduction surgery. I wish I could have donated more. I ended up throwing away 3 grocery bags full of 3-5 ounce bags of milk. What our trash person must have thought!
As for latching on another child, not without permission beforehand. Same for my child. If I couldn't have breast fed for some reason, I would have sought wet nursing just for reflux and health reasons.


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## [email protected] (May 31, 2004)

Yes, I would. Actually I have been cross-nursing my co-wife's DD and babies of two of my good friends, of course, with willing consent of the mothers concerned. In November last my co-wife was blessed with a son; she has already given sucks out of love to my DS and DD. This is not an uncommon practice in our family and we have been able to cross nurse naturally and frequently.
Uzra


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## [email protected] (May 31, 2004)

Sustainer, you have put things in a beautiful perspective. Thanks.
Uzra


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## Avocado (Oct 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WickidaWitch* 
I too think breastfeeding is way to personal a bond between mommy and baby. If I ever came home to find some one else had bf'd my baby I think I would feel very betrayed by that person. I would not and could not bf someone elses baby for the same reasons. Way to personal..









:


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## Leta (Dec 6, 2006)

No, I have never. Yes, I would.

Like the pps said, in an emergency without hesitation, otherwise with everyone in agreement.

I love nursing my DD. BFing is way better for me than being pregnant. It is totally a bonding experience. Having said that, I think there is more to the mama/baby bond than sharing a body, birth, or even nursing.

So, I think it would really "benefit the cause" if more bf moms would nurse other's babies. I think it would really help to normalize breastfeeding in general, and take away one of the "pros" of bottle feeding (to wit, multiple people having the ability to feed the baby).

As it stands, if mama has trouble, she either gets thru it and the baby gets breastmilk, or she doesn't and the baby gets formula. I'm in favor of anything that gets babies human milk. Formula should be a last resort, not the automatic second (or first) choice.

Humans are social animals. We have always lived in groups. It is just as natural for one lactating mama to nurse a baby who isn't hers as it is for her to nurse her own. Humans have cross-nursed since forever.

If I left my baby with a friend who was lactating, and my trusted friend thought my babe needed the boob, I would not feel betrayed in the least. I would feel lucky that my friend was that cool, and grateful that DD had her needs met.

I certainly do not mean to offend anyone who's posted here. It's okay to differ. These are just my feelings on it.


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## mabel73 (Aug 5, 2004)

nt


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## RaRa7 (Feb 29, 2004)

I have nursed my nephew and a friend's babe. We recently made the 11 hour drive to FL and my sis nursed my ds who HATES the car-nursed him right to sleep--although the whole time I was wishing it was me nursing him


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## rebeccahoney (Apr 13, 2007)

I tried to help my friend in latching problems, I have seen the polls and majority mothers have nursed other's babies.So this is very kind of them.


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## Blueena (Apr 3, 2007)

I said no, I wouldn't want anyone else to nurse my child, I think its way to personal for me and I wouldn't ever feel comfortable nursing someone else's child, its just not my thing. More power to the women who can and do!


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## Genesis (Jan 8, 2007)

I would nurse one of my friend's babies if I was babysitting and we ran out of milk, or if something happend to my friend and her baby needed to be fed. I would be more cautious about who I would let nurse my DS though. I would rather I be the only one who nurses him, but in certain situations I would let a trusted close friend nurse him.


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## Snork (Feb 17, 2007)

Yes I would and have. I have also happily had my baby nursed for two days by a friend when I was very sick and couldnt care for him.

With three of my babies I have used EBM from friends for the first two days before my milk came in. I have also given EBM to other midwife friends for their babies.


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## AugustLia23 (Mar 18, 2004)

would and have.


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## aira (Jun 16, 2004)

Absolutely.

I would love to be in an culture where kids were fed by all the lactating mamas. I'd feed different babies, and mine could be nourished by other moms. I think it's best for babies to get as many different nutrients and antibodies as they can.

I certainly would have my limits to that... If there's a drug-addicted mama, or something I wouldn't go for that.


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## OwensMa (Apr 15, 2004)

I would if someone asked me to.


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## torio (Jun 14, 2006)

I would, though I've never nursed my own babies yet--they're due in June 07.

However, I did offer my breast to a baby I was babysitting for when I was about 14. The mother pumped milk and insisted that nothing more than the prepared bottle was to be given. The poor babe would scream unconsolably when the bottle was empty. I tried telling the mother this and she suggested
I simply let the baby cry.

Sucking on the empty bottle didn't soothe the poor baby and she would root at my chest sobbing. I couldn't bear to leave her alone crying. So I opened my shirt and let her suck. Although I obviously had no milk the baby would get calm and eventually fall asleep. At the time I was too embarrassed to tell the mother what I had done.

I hadn't really thought much about this experience until I recently became pregnant. I do agree with PPs that sharing the experience is best when all parties involved are comfortable and in agreement. Though I still don't feel sorry about comforting that baby.


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## 1babysmom (May 22, 2006)

Can't remember if I've replied to this thread...yes, I would and have BF another person's baby.


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## mrsfatty (Dec 21, 2004)

I would only do it with their permission...

In your situation--if you ever rand out, call "whoever you're supposed to call in an emergency" and say, "There is no more milk, what do you want me to do?" When they hesitate, you could casually mention that you would be willing to breastfeed them, if they were comfortable with that...


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## nikihodges (Jul 29, 2006)

absolutly i would if everyone would be comfortable with it...i think i would be ok with someone else nursing ds as long as i knew them well, i have no sibblings but that would be an ideal situation...my ds is bottle fed ebm at night while i am away at work and he hates the bottle all nipples and we have tried them all...he would rather not eat that get it from the bottle







i would love it if someone could do that for him and me...i do wonder if anyone has ever nursed someone elses child whos mom was having trouble latching and did this help the babe to latch to own mom? my cousin is having trouble and i thought that it might help


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## FairlightMuse (Jun 14, 2006)

Sure. With permission from it's parents/guardians of course. And I would hope that some kind lady would do the same for my children if the need arose. Even if it was donated in a cup or bottle, it would be a wonderful, non-selfish thing. Really beautiful, I think.


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## foogoomomma (Jan 12, 2008)

If it was necessary I would do it. I would prefer to not have someone else nurse my child, but again if necessary (an emergency) then yes better than them being hungry. Thankfully I've been blessed in that even with pumping I was able to nurse my children full time... this thread really made me think! I talked to a friend of mine and we agreed in an emergency only would we be ok with each other nursing the other's child.

I really think that for me and my best friend it has a lot to do with us not growing up with sisters or a lot of women. I grew up in a house full of boys and my mother was basically an only child and my friend the same only brothers. I don't exactly know how to explain it, but I know we both act differently than say my sister in laws who have sisters.


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## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

I have bf'ed my neice and nephew. My oldest DD bf from auntie (my SIL).. it makes strong bonds, I think.

My aunties (who are sisters, but not the most AP/NFL people) switched their babies off on each other. They were the same age (the babies)... I'm sure they didn't bf long though, prob. till 3 months or something.


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## ann_of_loxley (Sep 21, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *moondiapers* 
YEs!!!
as long as it was ok with the mother. As a daycare provider I have to tell you, anyone that feeds your baby regularly bonds with him/her even if using a bottle. As long as the person actually holds that baby anyway. They still look up at you with those trusting eyes. That's why I don't understand moms that'll let just about anybody give their baby a bottle.

-Heather

Thats a very good point! - Becuase when this topic usally comes up, thats what a lot of people say...they dont like the idea of their baby bonding with someone else...which at least acknowledges that BF is good for bonding - but its true, if someone else is going to be holding or interacting in any way with your child, they are going to be bonding with them.

Which sometimes I feel others contradict themsleves - because they will argue that you can still bond just as well by bottle feeding. But they will also probably let other people bottle feed their baby - but if you asked them if they would have breastfed, if they would have let someone else BF their baby..they wouldnt for the bonding reasons...??? (or just because they think its 'nasty'...??? lol)

I really think its all down to how strongly you believe in BF over the use of forumla. I really think if more people were open to this idea nd it was something regularly done in our society - not just babies in the NICU getting donated milk - then the use of formula would be almost non exsistant! It just wouldnt be needed!!!

I would have had somone else BF my baby if need be and I would deffinatly BF someone elses child! Not sure I would feel comfortable with a complete stranger BF my child, but as long as I knew them.

And I will even say that my 'need be' isnt an emergency need either. I would still BF somones child if they wanted a night out with thier DH/DP because they just needed that few hours of breaktime together. I see that as a need either, not just the baby is going to die unless BF by someone else need!

I picture a society where everyone is close...where we all feed eachothers children and live in an open safe place...its lovely!


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## bellacymom (Apr 3, 2008)

To me nursing is such a personal thing with my baby that I don't think I could. I chose No but I guess I could feel comfortable if I had a sister or something but I don't so I don't think I would feel close enough to someone elses child to do that. Not to mention Lacy would probably try to beat them up for stealing her boob.


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## mamimapster (Oct 27, 2004)

I would under serious circumstances, and would hope that other mamas would do the same for my babe (I'm thinking like katrina,major illness etc.)


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