# Our baby was born yesterday, 38 weeks along.



## StarMama (Jun 25, 2002)

I'm numb for words right now, but wanted to start a post.

She was beautiful.

We don't know what happened.

I miss her.


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## BookishVonLiberal (Feb 24, 2007)

I am so sorry. My heart is breaking for you.


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## Vespertina (Sep 30, 2006)

I truly hate when I see new moms on the board. It breaks my heart so much to know we've all have been through such painful experiences and heartache. I'm so so sorry for the loss of your precious daughter. So sorry. It looks like we were due around the same time. DS's due date was December 21st and I would have been 38 weeks today.

My thoughts are with you and your family, mama. Much love.







If you need to talk feel free to pm me or any of the wonderful ladies here.


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## apple_dumpling (Oct 20, 2004)

I'm so sorry


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## JayJay (Aug 1, 2008)

I am so sorry, mama. My heart is so with you. Josie was born a couple of months ago, also at almost 38 weeks along. You're in the right place to heal from this - these are a group of great, wonderful, wise women and we all stick together and make sure none of us go under. Welcome here, even though it is not where you thought you'd find yourself. We will be with you all the way, mama. Anything you need, okay? You _will_ survive this and you _won't_ be destroyed.

Many, many enormous hugs and much love. *HUGS* XXXX


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## skybluepink02 (Nov 9, 2005)

I don't have any wise words for you mama. I'm just so sorry.


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## Fireflyforever (May 28, 2008)

Fiona Star.

What a beautiful name (as is her big bro's).










I am so terribly, terribly sorry that this has happened to you and your family. As the other mamas have said - we are here to listen and support you however we can. I can honestly say I would have gone under after the death of our beautiful daughter Emma on 14th October 2008 without the support of the amazing women of this forum. We tread an unbearable path made bearable by the company on it.

Wishing you and your family gentle healing in the days and weeks ahead.


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## Baby Makes 4 (Feb 18, 2005)

I am so sorry for your loss.


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## Samaria86 (Jan 17, 2008)

Mama I am so so so sorry to hear this happened to you.


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## SMR (Dec 21, 2004)

I'm so sorry for your loss of precious Fiona.








We are all here, part of a club that no one signed up for. it's so hard to be without our babies, but with the support of others in your shoes we can all get past the grief. My son, Dresden was born September 9 at 39 weeks.. life has gotten easier over the past few months, but every moment I think of our sweet boy and what was supposed to be. You are not alone here.. as Jay said we all stick together and make sure that no one goes under.
Sending lots of hugs and love to your family..


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## Authentic_Mother (Feb 25, 2007)

Oh Mama - I am so sorry this has happened. I just recently lost our baby and though I cannot claim the pain you feel - I can certainly empathize.
I will light a candle for little Fiona


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## StarMama (Jun 25, 2002)

Thank you all. Does anyone have any resources for Papa's? I'm afraid my Dh is going to be wanting to bury it and I know that's not good for him. He's so strong and great for me.


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## MarilynP (Nov 25, 2008)

so sorry


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## SMR (Dec 21, 2004)

I haven't found any place for the hubbys.. they grieve so differently! I find the need to connect with others in my situation, where Shaun doesn't seem to need that as much?


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## hollycat (Aug 13, 2008)

there should be a hubby support. they need it.
my hubby handled all the cremation details, star mama and it was good for him in a wierd way. 'having something to do" was in a weird way helpful.

been thinking of you since i heard, lisa. you are so in my prayers. i can imagine you might be in shock and its just like another crazy world in a parallel universe opening up that you feel youre the only one in. but youre not. there is a lot of support for you. hugs, h


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## nummies (Jun 9, 2007)

I'm so sorry for your loss.


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## Thandiwe (May 14, 2007)

I couldn't pass by and not send my condolences and prayers. I am so sorry for your loss.


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## Cheshire (Dec 14, 2004)

I'm so sorry.








A candle for your beautiful Fiona Star (I agree, it is a lovely name).

When our son died in August we found a counselor that specialized in children's grief. Our 4yo was as devastated as we were. We also talked to her as a couple and it helped some. We found a couple of support groups in our area and going to a couple of meetings helped DH (and me). One of the support groups has a father's only meeting.

As others have said, we are here for you. We grieve with you. Words can't express how heartbroken we are for you. These shoes totally suck and we'd take them from you if we could. I know I wouldn't ever want anyone else to go through this and I'm sorry your family is having to.

Take care of each other.


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## UptownZoo (May 11, 2003)

Oh, Mama, I'm so, so sorry. Many prayers for you and your family.

Peace and light for your journey, sweet Fiona.


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## JayJay (Aug 1, 2008)

The website for the Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep photograph affiliation has a forum, and part of that forum is a place called "Father Knows Best", I believe. The website is www.nowisleep.com and I think you should find some other Daddy's there who can help your guy a little. I know they know of other resources as well.

Being two months into the grief process, I'd be totally happy to speak with you about how my guy has been handling it (variable at times) as well, so that you perhaps know a little more about what to expect








*HUGS again* XXX


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## lisa_nc (Jul 25, 2008)

Oh, I am thinking of you and your beautiful daughter tonight. I am so sad that you had to join us. I wish there was something I could say or do to make things better, but I know there is nothing any of us can do but listen. Please remember that we are here if you ever need to vent. It may "just" be online, but it does help sometimes. Much love to you.


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## Sandrine (Apr 14, 2004)

I'm sooo sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and your family.


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## birthangeldoula (Feb 1, 2008)

I'm so sorry for the loss of Fiona. My heart just breaks for you.


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## bluewatergirl (Jul 26, 2007)

StarMama, I am so sad for you.
I'm so very sorry for your loss of Fiona.
You and your family are in my thoughts.


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## Milkymommi (Aug 29, 2003)

This says it all...

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Fireflyforever* 

We tread an unbearable path made bearable by the company on it.


I am so incredibly sorry for what you are going through. I understand. I was there, I am here still and I know- as do so many of the amazing mamas here. At one time your path was independant and for reasons unexplainable, you have merged to this master path of shock, pain, confusion and grief. Our paths have made the merge as well... so we now walk together and hold eachother until we reach the promised land of acceptance. Healing comes in small bursts along the way- I've been told.

Only now am I just starting to experience a small portion of respite from seemingly never ending tears and sorrow. Like you, my son Micah was born still at 40 weeks and 5 days Oct 19th. A day I will never forget. I will tell you though that 7 weeks later I can see that there is light peeking through the clouds and I believe that I will indeed make it. You will too. We can do it together if you so choose. We hold eachother virtually and cry together literally here.

Expect nothing from yourself in the days to come. Grieve however you feel you need to. Allow yourself that because you need it. I am broken hearted for you. I'm so sad you are here.


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## lil_stinkyfeet (Nov 12, 2006)

I am so sorry for you loss


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## HRC121799 (Aug 8, 2003)

I am so, so sorry for the loss of your precious little one.


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## liawbh (Sep 29, 2004)

Thinking of you Starmama. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.


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## Debstmomy (Jun 1, 2004)

I am so sorry. Peace to you Mama, as you walk this journey.


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## Len (Nov 19, 2001)

*Fiona Star*

I remember you from years ago, when your son Orion was born..... I am very sorry you have to go through such a terrible loss.


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## no5no5 (Feb 4, 2008)

I am thinking of you and your family.


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## ankh (Feb 23, 2005)

I am so sorry.


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## stayinghome (Jul 4, 2002)

Oh I am so so sorry.


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## mommato5 (Feb 19, 2007)

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My daughter Mary passed after our homebirth back in June. Anything you need, we are here.


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## Pynki (Aug 19, 2002)

OH Lisa!

I'm so so so very sorry for your loss.


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## Cuddlebaby (Jan 14, 2003)

Fiona Star is a great name. Huge huge way too empathetic hugs to you. I'm SO sorry.


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## Eliseatthebeach (Sep 20, 2007)

Oh mama, I am so so deeply sorry for you and your family.


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## lemurmommies (Jan 15, 2007)

I am so so very sorry for your loss. What a beautiful name for your little girl. Wishing you and your whole family many healing thoughts as you deal with Fiona's loss.


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## bc1995 (Mar 22, 2004)

I am so very sorry for your loss.


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## ian'smommaya (Jun 7, 2004)

oh god. i am soo sorry. so so sorry.


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## AllyRae (Dec 10, 2003)

I am so very sorry.


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## NullSet (Dec 19, 2004)

I'm so, so sorry.


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## catballou24 (Mar 18, 2003)

i am so terribly sorry for your loss..


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## michanders4 (Jul 24, 2008)

I am so sorry


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## namaste_mom (Oct 21, 2005)

I left a note on your DDC to come here but I see you already have. (((HUGS))) Lisa







Fiona Star

Please know this is a good place to come and share your feelings. Unfortunately, there are many lostbabymama's here.


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## Justmee (Jun 6, 2005)

So sorry for your loss


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## Bluegrass (Dec 31, 2001)

Lisa, my heart is breaking for you. I'm so sorry.


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## JenMidwife (Oct 4, 2005)

I'm so sorry for you loss









Quote:


Originally Posted by *StarMama* 
Thank you all. Does anyone have any resources for Papa's? I'm afraid my Dh is going to be wanting to bury it and I know that's not good for him. He's so strong and great for me.

My dh did not feel the need to connect w/ other people about it the way that I did (which was very hard for me to understand!). There are lots of books on the subject of stillbirth (search Amazon), but I couldn't find anything specifically for fathers. Here's one that mentions fathers in the title


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## Aurora (May 1, 2002)

I am so very sorry.
















Fiona Star


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## Dalene (Apr 14, 2008)

I'm so sorry, mama, for you and your family and Fiona.

This blog, by a dad whose son died in September, has been helpful to my DH: http://elmcitydad.wordpress.com/. We also attend two hospital support groups and see a counselor together.


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## Breathless Wonder (Jan 25, 2004)

OMG Lisa! I am so, so sorry for your loss.







:


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## mytwogirls (Jan 3, 2008)

I am so sorry mama. What a beautiful name for your little angel girl!


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## MiracleMama (Sep 1, 2003)

i am in tears for you and your sweet angel fiona.
i have no words, only sending you comforting thoughts of peace...


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## diamond lil (Oct 6, 2003)

Your family and your little girl are in my prayers.


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## yummymummy2hannah (Aug 23, 2006)

I'm so sorry mama!


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## Cuddlebaby (Jan 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JenMidwife* 







I'm so sorry for you loss









My dh did not feel the need to connect w/ other people about it the way that I did (which was very hard for me to understand!). There are lots of books on the subject of stillbirth (search Amazon), but I couldn't find anything specifically for fathers. Here's one that mentions fathers in the title

this was exactly what I wanted to point out. My hubby's the same way. just cuz they don't cry regularly doesn't mean they aren't dealing with it. **everyone** deals with grief differently....there isn't a wrong way. keep saying that to yourself as I have had to too.


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## meredyth0315 (Aug 16, 2007)

I'm so, so sorry for your loss mama






















Fiona Star


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## simonee (Nov 21, 2001)

Oh no Lisa... I'm so very sorry for you and your family...







:








: Fiona Star


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## joeys_mom (Feb 11, 2007)

I'm so sorry for you.


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## Quirky (Jun 18, 2002)

Oh, Lisa, I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby.
















Fiona Star


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## Katana (Nov 16, 2002)

Lisa, I'm so sorry.







:








Fiona Star


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## mountainmummy (Sep 12, 2007)

I'm so, so sorry for the loss of your little Fiona Star.







I lost my daughter at 39 weeks last September and it is the most agonizing pain ever. I am so sorry you and your husband have to know it. May you find some comfort in the company of other families here who've walked this path before you. I'm just so sorry.


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## mmmummy (Mar 12, 2005)

What a gorgeous name for a gorgeous girl. I am so sorry, StarMama & Family.
Hugs & Prayers to you.


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## *Erin* (Mar 18, 2002)

oh, mama. im so very sorry.


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## p.s (May 27, 2005)




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## Breathless Wonder (Jan 25, 2004)

Still thinking of you Lisa.


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## diana_of_the_dunes (Dec 7, 2008)

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I haven't been here long, but I can see you have the support of lots of wonderful women. Take advantage of it, and be sure to give yourself time and space to grieve. You and your family will be in my prayers...


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## paradoxia13 (Aug 21, 2006)

I'm so sorry.


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## Ruthie's momma (May 2, 2008)

I'm sorry...


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## NoelleInLove (Dec 15, 2008)

I am so sorry for your loss.


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## Cuddlebaby (Jan 14, 2003)

hugs


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## maisiedotes (Jan 2, 2005)

I am so sorry.


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## baileyandmikey (Jan 4, 2005)

Sorry for your loss! Praying for you and your family!


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