# When your child is too quiet - what's the biggest mess you've found?



## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

My kids are pretty good but when I can't hear them, I worry. I've found some messes, including a completely unrolled roll of wax paper, a whole roll of toilet paper in a toilet. I caught her before she completely unrolled a roll of aluminum foil. Unrolling stuff was a theme with one of mine.

What have you discovered when you've gone to find out why they're so quiet?


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## MeepyCat (Oct 11, 2006)

DS got the screen door to the porch halfway off its hinges when he was one and a half.


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## monkeyscience (Feb 5, 2008)

Just a few weeks ago, DS (1) pulled a mostly-full package of tortillas off the table and shredded it to bits. Not bad for such a small fry! And that was after he pulled a paper towel roll off the desk, unrolled several squares, and shredded them only about 15 minutes earlier. (And I was catnapping on the couch RIGHT NEXT TO HIM during this! It all happened literally within 6 feet of my head!)


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## katelove (Apr 28, 2009)

My now-3yo put DHs hair fudge all over the cat when she was about 20mo. I can't remember what I was doing but she wasn't out of sight for very long.


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## rainbowasylum (Aug 25, 2013)

We are priming and repainting the house right now. My 5 year old managed to sneak upstairs and by the time I noticed, he had managed to prime half the floor in one room, and leave footprints across the rest of the upstairs floor.

I should have known better than to go to the bathroom.


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## Mummoth (Oct 30, 2003)

The dish soap slip n' slide on the hardwood floor and the 10lb bag of flour that they used to turn their room into a snow globe come to mind.


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## michelleepotter (Apr 8, 2013)

When my oldest two first came to live with us, they got up early one morning and decided to make pancakes all on their own. They were 2 and 3, and the entire kitchen (and both of them) were completely covered in wet pancake mix! Luckily they did not know how to turn on the stove!


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## Catholic Mama (Nov 7, 2006)

My sons, about 3 and 5 at the time, broke the blinds in their room in our rented house and eventually took it off the window. It is now in pieces in their closet until either we move out or we face the landlord and ask him what he wants us to do about it. (He was already hesitant to rent to a family with children last year, so thankfully he's been very good to us.)


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## captain optimism (Jan 2, 2003)

Mine is a singleton and pretty mellow, so nothing really bad. Once when he was 3, he found a box of my tampons and popped them all out of their wrappers and applicators. It was hard to keep a straight face.

When he was around 4, he used to also go into the bathroom and putter around in there. When I'd ask, "What are you doing?" he'd say, "I'm not making a potion, that's for sure."


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## Catholic Mama (Nov 7, 2006)

Thank you for making me laugh, captain optimism!


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## fruitfulmomma (Jun 8, 2002)

Hair cuts... "She couldn't hear with all that hair over her ears."


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## Jennyanydots (Sep 8, 2011)

Haircut, here, too. When my DDs were about 4 & 2, I took a break from making thanksgiving dinner and walked in to a suspiciously quiet room in time to see DD1 frantically stuffing play scissors and handfuls of hair under a pillow... then I looked at DD2. She looked like a child who'd grown up in the aftermath of a nuclear holocaust, living with rats. Hair cut all around her head, in some places almost to the scalp. It was dramatic.


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## peaceful_mama (May 27, 2005)

, Both involve me nursing a newborn. Ds1 was halfway in my line of sight...what I could NOT see was the permanent marker he was using to color the cabinet! Thankfully, it came off with a magic eraser!

DD & DS 2 rubbed Eucerin cream all over the bottom of the bunkbed...under the bed!


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## peaceful_mama (May 27, 2005)

Another time, the.kids drew Patrick the Starfish on their bedroom wall in crayon! magic eraser left a permanent star outline that time.


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

Dd was maybe a year and a half. I vaguely noticed she was napping longer than usual, and was enjoying it thoroughly. I finally went to check her out and found she'd grabbed the tube of Desitin and had smeared the white goo all over her face, her shirt, her cuddle pillow and the headboard. I laughed so hard. And managed to get a picture.


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## Cherry_Blossom (Nov 7, 2009)

A whole canister of dry oatmeal on the living room carpet.


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## mamapigeon (Dec 16, 2010)

A whole box of cherry tomatoes squished and spread around the kitchen while I took a catnap. Another time, sewing pins, fabric, and my notions scattered all over the back bedroom.


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## Chloe'sMama (Oct 14, 2008)

When I was pregnant with DS, both the dds unwrapped a few rolls of toilet paper all over the floor..... not so bad, except they made confetti out of it. I had been resting on the bed, right next to them. I should have known they were up to no good.


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## olaz-b (Mar 16, 2011)

Not really a mess, but a heart attack for me. I left my 3yo DS to watch TV for a few minutes while I put his baby brother down for a nap. Within a few minutes, I heard stomping outside the second story bedroom window and a little head bobbing by. Then he said through the window "Look mommy, I climbed the scaffolding all by myself" AHHHHH! That was great incentive for DH to finish that side of the house super fast.


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## mamalex23 (Oct 1, 2010)

dumped out corn chips stomped to bits on the living room floor was the Best mess, the peanut butter spread all over his legs after giving him a sandwich in his rear-facing car seat while I nursed the baby before going to the Indoor playground- which totally Looked like poop, is the runner up, but the Totally worst one was actual poop! Diaper removed, s#%*t spread all over the living room columns and leather couch!

I lost my cool, called off our plans (the ones I was busy getting ready for when he made the mess) and made him sit in timeout the whole time I cleaned it up. The next morning he went over to the scene of the crime and said, "What happened to this messy picture?" all innocent and sincere, and I couldn't help but laugh!


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## VocalMinority (Apr 8, 2009)

The October that my youngest was 3, I had green nail polish in the bathroom, for a witch costume. He was quiet. We found him, having painted stripes of green nail polish - about his eye-level - all around the bathroom walls and door. Also, stripes of traditional berry-red polish...which made it festive for Christmas, by which time we still had not repainted.


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## motherhendoula (Feb 13, 2009)

lol - i have one regarding actual poop as well! My DD1 was always quiet in her crib after waking up - she would lay in there and talk to her stuffed animals for close to an hour sometimes (shes now in college - this back in the good old days of comfort items in cribs!) one morning i walked in to find she had used the contents of her diaper to paint her crib! - ugh, up and down all the bars - smeared across many stuffed animals - who met their untimely demise that day! She was about 18 months old. - i didnt use a crib with subsequent children....


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## One_Girl (Feb 8, 2008)

When my DD was about 18 months she unraveled a yarn skein and tangled herself in it while I was on the phone, she was so happy and cute that I supervised as she continued. When she was five she and her friend uses my makeup to look beautiful, it was a big mess and they were beautiful clowns.

As a side note, goo be gone takes crayon off surfaces with almost no scrubbing.


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## MaggieLC (Sep 2, 2013)

Many years ago our first house was on the market. So, we had to have the house spotless and ready for showing at any time. Our two older girls were 4 and 2 years old. We had an other couple over who also had a 4 year old boy and a 2 year old girl. The kids were playing upstairs, our girls had just gotten bunkbeds and the kids were enjoying climbing around.

They were fairly quiet and my dh and I were enjoying socializing with an other couple our age. I went upstairs to check on the kids and..... it was snowing! Someone had taken an entire container of cornstarch baby powder and it was sifting down, covering every surface in the room. I just stood there for a minute not believing what I was seeing. Then the phone rang and my husband said the realtor had called and was going to show the house in 15 minutes! I started to cry.

My 4 year old and her 4 year old accomplice told me, "The babies did it." The babies were sitting on the floor and the two 4 year olds were on the top bunk of the bed, and the container of cornstarch baby powder was lying on the floor right under the top bunk, however. At that point I just needed to get it cleaned up. The other mom came up and we vacuumed and cleaned and dusted while the men kept the children busy. We got it powder free enough for the realtor to show the house. There was still baby powder in every crevice of our upstairs and it's most likely still there.

A few days later, I found my 4 year old sitting in a corner crying. I asked her what was wrong.

She said, " 'Member when Richard and I said the babies threw all that baby powder all over our room?"

"Yes, I do. It was quite a mess, wasn't it?"

"Yeah.....the babies didn't do it....(sob) Richard and I did!" she then broke down in tears and I held her and told her I was very glad she had been honest with me. I was 99% sure that the babies weren't to blame in the first place, but I was glad she finally came clean.


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## MaggieLC (Sep 2, 2013)

One of my aunts had her first 4 children in a little over 3 years. She had been changing a diaper (they were all in diapers at one time at one point) and came in the living room to answer the door. Her oldest had gotten into a huge box of those gigantic sanitary napkins (y'know those napkins they used to give women after childbirth, the big cardboard box with the nurse on the front? My aunt was always post partum and evidently bought these napkins in bulk!) Her oldest son had taken the napkins like they were blocks and had built roads and buildings and made a whole "Rag City" in the living room, and a delivery man walked in the door just as she saw the bizarre art project.


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## 100%mom (Jan 12, 2007)

I had a pile of clean laundry on the living room floor waiting to fold. I found the laundry out the window in the freshly mowed grass and piles of fresh mowed grass covered my entire living room. Oh, and the window screen had already been broken earlier.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *olaz-b*
> 
> Not really a mess, but a heart attack for me. I left my 3yo DS to watch TV for a few minutes while I put his baby brother down for a nap. Within a few minutes, I heard stomping outside the second story bedroom window and a little head bobbing by. Then he said through the window "Look mommy, I climbed the scaffolding all by myself" AHHHHH! That was great incentive for DH to finish that side of the house super fast.


Wow! I would have had a heart attack too! ACK!!


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

i have a few but i'll only tell the ones that were memorable to me

- 18 months old. climbed the bathtub and got the whole giant jar of eucerin all over teh tub and on most of her body except the back. gosh she was so cute i only smiled. thick layer on the bathtub, inch thick on her. took me HOURS to clean up but dd had the softest skin ever for while. also same age. we had guests for dinner and were entertaining them. dd toddled over to the bathroom. suddenly i reaslised she'd been gone for awhile. guest went over to the bathroom and i went to teh bedroom. suddenly i heard laughter from the bathroom. dd had take out my whole new packet of heavy pads and pasted them all over.

2 years old. in a tupperwear she'd poured shampoo, liquid soap, my liquid make up, toothpaste and was making a 'soup'.

3 years old. HAIRCUT. poked my head and had a heart attack. on the potty with its lid down were the kitchen scissors and a bunch of hair. dd had cut bangs. she did such a perfect job that i couldnt help but stand in awe. mommy i really really really wanted to cut hair but you wouldnt let me cut your hair for you. she started giving me a trim from about 8 and she did a good job keeping it straight.


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## VocalMinority (Apr 8, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *meemee*
> 
> 3 years old. HAIRCUT. poked my head and had a heart attack. on the potty with its lid down were the kitchen scissors and a bunch of hair. dd had cut bangs. she did such a perfect job that i couldnt help but stand in awe. mommy i really really really wanted to cut hair but you wouldnt let me cut your hair for you. she started giving me a trim from about 8 and she did a good job keeping it straight.


How cool!


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## XxPiNKROSE143xX (Sep 23, 2013)

DD was all up in my make up bag!!! was up to no good!


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## Triniity (Jul 15, 2007)

Here's what I did:

I was visiting my friend, we were like three years old, and her mom told us to draw, and gave us a couple of these bottles with the paint that one normally uses to paint the walls with.

We though, mmmh. Painting is a bit boring, sliding would be fun, though, so we got out of our cloth (no getting dirty rule!) and emptied all of the bottles on the (kitchen)floor. About 5 - 6 bottles, I think. And then we were sliding. And I still remember the fun 

Her mom was very permissive, so she did not actually kill us when she found us and her kitchen covered in mud-coloured paint from the floor to the walls to the kitchen counters. I even have a picture of it 

I still wonder how on earth she managed to clean it ...


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## MaggieLC (Sep 2, 2013)

My two older daughters are 13 and 11 years older than their baby sister. When baby sister was a toddler, and they were teens, they thought it was funny to "put make up on the baby." As long as they washed her off afterward, I didn't care, but warned them to keep their make up out of little hands' way.

One day I was folding laundry and baby exited the room, was very quiet and gone too long. I found her in her sister's room, she had gouged massive amounts of blush, eye shadow etc out of the containers and rubbed it all over her face. The make up was fairly ruined.

My older girls never played "put make up on the baby" ever again.

Natural consequences.


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## eightykatie1 (Mar 8, 2012)

when my oldest was about two and a half i found him in the bathroom stripped naked, surrounded by a nest of pastel wrappers from a box of HUGE heavy flow/overnight pads, the kind you use after a birth. he had them all stuck to his little naked body and he looked up at me with the most serious expression on his face and said in a dramatic whisper mama, i have so many bad ouchies. i might just bleed to death. when i stopped laughing a took about a thousand pictures.


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## USAmma (Nov 29, 2001)

Shredded a head of lettuce into tiny, tiny pieces. It's so hard to pick up wet little pieces of lettuce especially when they have started to dry on the hard floor.

A tub of Vaseline, all over the baby, and the carpet around her.

A roll of TP thrown into the bathtub that had not yet been drained of water. Totally dissolved. Had to fish out chunks with the strainer.

Shredded a styrofoam chunk that has come out of a package. I had tiny tiny little balls of styrofoam all over everything in the house, stuck on there by static, for months.

An entire box of 100 count pantyliners stuck onto the walls and doors.


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## VocalMinority (Apr 8, 2009)

I keep reading these, laughing and trying to pick my brains for other good messes my kids have made. Then it occurred to me: the two biggest messes in my life as a mother, *I've made myself.* "Hey, Mom's too quiet. We'd better check what she's gotten into..."

1- While painting an accent color in my oldest sons' bedroom, some 15 years ago, it seemed silly to pour out such a little bit of paint into a pan, so I was just dipping my brush in the gallon can. I was afraid to put the can on the paint-tray shelf of my ladder, in case it fell. So I left it on the floor and was dipping, stepping up the ladder to paint, then stepping back down to dip again. Except I lost my balance on the dismount and knocked over the 3/4-full gallon of brightly-colored paint on the brand-new carpet. Of my newly-renovated, *rented* house.

You'd be surprised how well it came out, with wet towels, a scrub brush, carpet shampoo and a wet-vac. Only a small, dull spot remained - in the end, not enough to consume my entire damage deposit!

2- We're a blended family and our older 3 always spend spring break traveling to fun places with their other parents. Our poor 5-year-old has married parents and thus a boring life. So, last spring break he and I accompanied my husband on a business trip, for fun. Before we left, I had found something called "Squishy Baff" on clearance at Aldi and bought it, to keep my son entertained in the hotel room, at night. *If a product marketed to British kids winds up in the clearance bin at the deepest-discount food chain in the US, DON'T BUY IT.*

The packaging shows kids in a tub FULL of colorful goo and promises easy clean-up, using table salt to convert the goo back into water. So I brought some salt. Sitting there in the bathroom, with my son in the tub, having promised him a "squishy baff", I read the directions more closely and realized it's really only meant to be used in about a gallon of water - which is no fun, in a bathtub. So I poured in the entire contents of the Squishy Baff package and filled up the tub with several inches of water (i.e., many gallons). After all, I had a lot of salt.

As best I can tell, the salt does not work. I could not let all that goo go down the hotel drain - it felt *Wrong*, plus I feared they'd realize we were the ones who ruined their plumbing, and they had our credit card #. I stretched an old T-shirt over the toilet, under the seat, and scooped the tub contents into it, using the shirt as a sieve to catch the goo. It was horrible and took FOREVER! We wound up with 2 trash cans full of pink goo.


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## Caneel (Jun 13, 2007)

The haircut stories are hysterical!

DS doesn't seem to have the "naughty" gene (yet) and the only thing I remember is when he was around a year old, I found him sitting on the bathroom floor chugging a container of Comet. I turned my back for literally seconds and he got the door open, found the Comet and went to town. He was covered in Comet, as was the bathroom floor.

I was almost hysterical when I called Poison Control. Turns out, Comet isn't all that harmful. They were more concerned about it getting into his lungs than any he may ingested.


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## Ruthiegirl (Jun 25, 2004)

My kids made pizza dough on the living room rug with a 5 pound bag of flour and a litre of olive oil.

And yep, that rug went into the dumpster.


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## beautifulnm (Dec 12, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Catholic Mama*
> 
> My sons, about 3 and 5 at the time, broke the blinds in their room in our rented house and eventually took it off the window. It is now in pieces in their closet until either we move out or we face the landlord and ask him what he wants us to do about it. (He was already hesitant to rent to a family with children last year, so thankfully he's been very good to us.)


This just makes my blood boil. Discrimination, pure and simple. I really love when landlords (I even hate calling them that) feel they are bestowing a fantastic gift upon you for letting you pay their mortgage. Sorry, I digress.

The mess that my son makes is with modeling clay in his bedroom. He loves it, but typically it ends up EVERYWHERE, including in the cracks of the hardwood floor. Then we go in, pick up all 8,000 little toys like blocks, modeling clay tools, trains and tracks, et cetera, and then we do a combination of sweeping, scraping, and vacuuming to get it all up. Then, inevitably, with his big sweet doe-y eyes he cons me into buying more and the process repeats.


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## kblackstone444 (Jun 17, 2007)

My older son was 3 when I thought it was safe to take a quick, 10-15 minute shower. Nope! All liquid contents in the fridge- a gallon of milk, two full bottles of juice, a half gallon of iced tea, a half gallon of pink lemonade, several juice boxes- ended up all over the playroom floor, with the wall-to-wall carpeting. When I asked him why he did that, what was he thinking, he told me, "I wanted to make it rain on my cars." Okay, he got me there. I cleaned the best I could, even got a rug cleaner, but oh, the ants, the ants!

Fast forward three years, probably the next time I trusted my older son to keep himself occupied while I was in the shower. I came out to find that he'd gotten ahold of a screwdriver and unscrewed every electrical and light socket plug in the living room and both bedrooms. I almost had a heart attack!

My little one. He's 2 1/2 and so active it's not funny. I was in the bathroom doing my thing about 2-3 months ago and I couldn't have been in there more than 3 minutes. Did I mention he's obsessed with footballs? Did you know that eggs look like tiny white footballs? And when you throw them and yell, "Go long!", odds are they're gonna end up in a puddlely mess on the living room rug? All 12 of them? Yup. I knew it was bad when I opened the bathroom door in time to hear, "Uh, oh, broken footballs." It was hard to be mad at him, though, when I came around the corner and found him trying soooooooooo hard to put the eggs back together, telling himself, "Like a puzzle... like a puzzle..."


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## jildez (Dec 6, 2009)

thanks for the laughs ladies. I few months ago, when I was in the first trimester and having to nap every afternoon, my son who had just turned for got himself a snack while I slept. marmite. we buy it in big jars bc he and my husband love it. he eat some of this thick black paste with his fingers and then realized he had it every where, so he wiped him self off... on the table, on the chairs, on his clothes, hair, floor. little smelly bitten black smudges all over the kitchen. he woke me with sweet wispers of ,'mommy, get up and maje the kitty lick it off.'

the worst part was the smell. my morning sickness meant the smell made me want to puke the entire time I was cleaning up.


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## Poddi (Feb 18, 2003)

Oh I'll just list what they did at age 2.

When DS1 was 2, he:

- took a bottle of mustard out of the fridge and squeezed every bit out onto off white carpet (of course it's impossible to remove the yellow stains even though we scrubbed all night).

- pushed the TV off the stand and broke it

- got hold of a black dry erase marker and scribbled over the walls in 3 rooms. We had to scrape off a layer to remove it, then repaint the walls.

- sprayed the walls and floor of a room with a bottle of "Shout"

- basically broke and shredded everything he touched 

When DS2 was 2, he:

- opened a bag of raisin bagels and chew on a few of them, that's the most mess he ever made, he's a ruler follower and preserver. 

I'm just glad they didn't drink detergent or swallow rocks or anything like that.


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## aggie pop (Feb 16, 2012)

It was about this week 5 years ago and we were living in a brownstone in brooklyn... gorgeous hardwood floors covered with the cartons of eggs I bought for them to dye. I have a photo somewhere I have to look at now. My husband found them and cleaned it all up bless his heart. Luckily they were hardwood floors and not rugs or on furniture...

Another time my oldest, when he was 3 took my paint (I'm an oil painter) and started painting prussian blue all over a piece that I was putting in a show that was about to go to the framer that day.

Another time it was an entire gallon of gesso all over parquet floors in manhattan. Perilously close to computer servers on the floor that were gated off.

There are more... so many more... and yes, I laugh about all of them now.


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## OkiMom (Nov 21, 2007)

haha.. I love that kiddos are all so curious and that seems to be a universal thing.. Lets see some of the ruckus mine have caused.

My oldest,

at 2 she got into the fridge to make "cookies" and broke 3 dozen eggs all over the living room floor

at 3 she got into the finger paint and "painted" me a picture all over the government loaned furniture (hubby is the military, when we were living overseas instead of shipping out your furniture they loaned you furniture that you had to return in like new condition when you left)

at 4 she decided to "write daddy a special birthday card mommy" and got glue, glitter, paint and flour all quilt tops I had just finished piecing together for Christmas..

at 5 she decided to "help" me with the garden, broken plant containers and mud ALL OVER the living room carpet.. That took a lot of scrubbing

at 6 she wanted to make me breakfast in bed.. went out to a kitchen covered in bisquick, egg and milk

Just last week (she is 7) we were bringing food in and she decided she would put things away for me. Two gallons of milk later I had a very clean floor, no milk and a very wet daughter LOL

My 2nd oldest (least likely to get into things







)

At 2 she used a whole bottle of shampoo to "wash" my mattress.. "smell yuck mom" Thanks kiddo!

At 3 she decided to "help the doggy get food" brand new 50 lb bag of dog food plus about a gallon of water all over my kitchen and living room.. The dog wasn't to happy either, she hated soggy food!

At 4 she wanted to "do school" like her sister so she got the glue out to make a collage.. Instead of a small bottle of glue she grabbed the large gallon of elmers glue I have to refill our glue bottle. Ended up getting it all over the dining room and the cat, poor kitty!

A month ago (she is 5) she decided she would do her math lesson "all by myself mommy".. Im still finding math manipulative all over the living room

My son.. (there is a REASON he is called monster







)
At 6 months old he figured out how to crawl while I was cooking dinner. He managed to get into my knitting and "knitted" himself quite a mess by the time I looked over and saw.

At 1 I was doing a banner with his sister to welcome Daddy home from a deployment. He had great fun getting into paint while my back was turned answering the phone. I had a very colorful toddler









At 2 he decided to have "fun" tping the downstairs in the middle of the night while everyone else was sleeping. Woke to toilet paper all over the living room, dining room and kitchen.

Last week (he is 3) he found a bottle of nail polish (thanks girls!) and "painted" the bathroom floor..

And because it might seem to some like I don't supervise my kiddos all these were done either when they were suppose to be napping or in the 5 minutes between times I checked on them. Seriously, kids are FAST. At least I get a laugh at it looking back.


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## sillysapling (Mar 24, 2013)

No "messes", just sabotage. I've turned around to find that kiddo had removed the baby-proofing from the cabinet doors. Also, never leave electronics ANYWHERE near him. He's constantly altering the settings on my computer- I have no idea how. He's finding keyboard shortcuts that I can't even find online. I've smacked my keyboard repeatedly in frustration and this has never happened yet every time our kid touches this he gets ahold of some setting or another so, uh, I'm a little disturbed.


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