# Looking for Mommas with ADD/ADHD...



## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Hey Mommas out there!
Anyone trying to raise a family and has ADD or ADHD? I'm feeling very alone in my clumsy, forgetting, can't think straight world here.

I've got 1 DS, ADD, and a DH who thinks I'm his mother.

Please introduce yourselves and say which you've got, mild/severe, medicated/un- or self- medicated, and anything else you think is important.

I've noticed a huge increase in my symptoms lately, and I can't say why....


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Anybody?

.....now I DO feel alone....


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## MAMARabbitt (Sep 27, 2007)

Don't feel alone, I'm here. Just too ADHD to respond








I was diagnosed severe ADHD borderline personality disorder when I was about 13. I was on 8 different meds 3x a day till I was 19







:. I always thought that I would be CRAZY if I didn't take them, then I stopped. I've never felt so sane in my life than without all the uppers, downers, anti-psychotics & mood stabilizers. I do still notice that I'm very...what's a good word...flighty maybe








My attention span is definitely not as long as it could be. I've still got about 10 days till my baby is due so we'll see how well I cope with the momma thing. I think I'll be good but I guess I'll have to wait & find out.


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## MAMARabbitt (Sep 27, 2007)

bumpitty bump


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## GrowingCrunchy (Oct 30, 2007)

ADD, wishing for some H here! I never suspected ADD until a few years ago, self diagnosed about two years ago, tried meds 6 or 7 months ago after weighing the risks and benefits while breastfeeding. Saw an immediate improvement in myself, but it waned after a few weeks and I no longer felt the benefits were outweighing the risks.
I think I will try a different med whenever ds weans, but not until then. In the meantime, I am going through one of the worst ADD periods yet. My big kids are off to Grandmas this weekend so I can try to regroup!


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## MAMARabbitt (Sep 27, 2007)

The only medication that I've found, that I trust, is medical marijuana. Western medication freaks me out ever since I was medicated for the ADHD when I was younger


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## GrowingCrunchy (Oct 30, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MAMARabbitt* 
The only medication that I've found, that I trust, is medical marijuana. Western medication freaks me out ever since I was medicated for the ADHD when I was younger

I'd love to see information on that. Can't say I'd be comfortable with the legality issue, but I'm definitely interested in the theory.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

*%$#*@%$# thing just erased my post!







:

Anyway, I was saying that relaxants usually increase my ADD symptoms and I get almost morose, I'm so Low.

A few years ago I read a book called healing your anxiety with herbs. It mentioned Valerian root as a supplement while you sleep. It does produce very vivid dreams at times, but it's worked verywell for me.

My self meds now are: B-50 complex, 50mg a multivit with lots of b-vits, and valerian root whileI sleep. I think of it as a life-long therapy, not a medicine or treatment.

I've been losing things lately, and forgetting things, although, even when DS was tiny, things had remained balanced out. My iron was low and I started taking two multi's instead of my extra b's and I think that's the problem.

My anxiety is back too. I forget thatthere are otheradults who deal with this, and choose to remain 'unmedicated'. Oh did I mention CAFFEINE?









I wasn't diagnosed until eighteen, and by then all my fun little 'tricks'were ingrained. I tried Ritalin, and when each dose wore off, I got these intense rages, and I'd want to hurt myself, or smash things. I couldn't deal with being out ofcontrol in the first place that's why I'd considered drugs, but this was far worse.


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## spookyblue (Jan 15, 2008)

Another ADD'er chiming in here. Diagnosed and medicated since I was 4, then passed around to 8 different psychologists.







It's moderate, but mild enough for me to figure stuff out as an adult without any ritalin. I'd tried all of them and finally quit because stimulants make me really jittery. There's also clinical depression there too.

I've been on pretty much everything during childhood (I could list them, but that'd be boring) but the good news is that all I'm on now is Zoloft and a multivitamin.

I'm with MAMARabbitt on the medical marijuana thing. That stuff works so well for anxiety. Unfortunately, it's expensive and I'm pregnant, so I can't take it just now. And yeah, growing up, being on all those drugs really sucked for me, too.

Sure, I lose and forget things, but it actually helps that both my husband and I have the same thing for empathy reasons. Any kids we have will definitely have some mental health stuff to deal with (including the one on the way right now), but at least we'll be able to understand them better.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Hello SpookyBlue!

I actually considered not procreating becuse of my anxiety and depression.









I realized though, that even if my children had ADD I could prevent a lot of problems by parenting differently, and by homeschooling. Ds is so much fun, I couldn't dream of life without him.


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## spookyblue (Jan 15, 2008)

No kidding, heidirk! I considered the same thing, too, before I...well, realized the same thing you did. Hope babies are as much fun to raise, cause I gots one on the way!


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Hooray!









I find having ADD helpful in caring for kids. I remember vividly how being a kid was, so it's easy for me to look at him and say, OK...He's upset about X let's try THIS.

I also found a neat book, The Gift of ADHD. I recommend reading that while you still have brain cells left!


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

I do, sorta, subbing. . .


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## Brigianna (Mar 13, 2006)

I have autism with ADD-like traits. Little bit distracted now (fittingly







), shall return later...


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

I'm wondering how many of you use diet to control the ADD? When my DD has thrush, I started finding stuff on how diet makes autism and ADD symptoms appear. I'll link some stuff.

I was self-diagnosed in college, my mom thought it was cop-out, but I would try and try, and I just couldn't get things (homework) done. I retook 5 classes! I did get a diagnosis while I had good ins. but then after college just dropped getting seen. I don't think mine is too severe, but this fall when I was on an Elimination diet for the thrush, no dairy/wheat/sugar, anythign boxed/refined, my brain was clearer, and I lost weight. I'm really messy and usually overwhelmed with my housekeeping. Anyone else? I'm not depressed, I think, but I do have days where I am so down and have no motivation to do anything.


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## 636Jen (Sep 13, 2007)

Wow....never saw this tribe!

Hubby is ADD, I'm ADHD and both boys have been diagnosed with ADHD. Youngest is still too young. I'm on Concerta and Ritalin, boys are on Concerta as well. At least I can relate to them!









~Jen


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## socialworkmamma (Mar 15, 2006)

Yeah, I'm totally here. Classic tale of people-pleasing girl with ADD who learned to cope, sort of. Since I was not running around, teachers would never think there was a problem, I just daydreamed a lot. Thankfully,(I guess), smart enough to compensate. Also I had older, AP parents who loved and accepted me as is, and then a great supportive DH who does the same. I've never been medicated and at this point in time don't think I ever will be. I'm a clinical social worker and have been given several scales, which all say I have ADD. I think the part that bugs me the most is feeling such a disconnect from other women. It's hard for me to maintain friendships, I just don't really have the ability to organize my time to allow for working part-time and being the kind of Mom I am and then adding female friendship into the mix. I also think part of it is the part of the country I live in seems to have female friendship revolve around activities I don't think of as ADD friendly, if that makes sense. I tried to scrapbook, and would still like to, but by the time I would find what I wanted, my time for it was past. Also I would hyperfocus on something, time would pass and nothing would be done. I also think lots of women are not real cool with coming to a house where there is laundry on the couch and lots of unfinished projects. Then again maybe it's my own "shame" issue with feeling like I don't measure up in the "womanly" arts of housekeeping, etc. None of this is stuff my DH puts on me, it's how I feel about myself. Being a mother has been very healing for me on many levels. I feel like I'm a really, sensitive, loving and nurturing mother, so therfore I must be a "good woman".
Yeah, this tended to ramble, imagine that, but would love to hear from other's on how the condition impacts their self-esteem in today's society with all the expectations of looking great, being organized, a perfect mother, lots of friends, a hot lover, and on and on.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

I just erased my entire post. Which about sums up my problems with ADD.

Yes, I'm overwhelmed by housekeeping too. And I'm a SAHM, and I don't invite anyone over because in my mind the house is in chaos. I tell DH that I can cook, or I can clean but I can't do both on the same day.

it is hard to maintain friendships because I can easily lose the thread of a conversation which means I either embarass myself, or I wait so long to reply people think I'm not interested. I do try to give my self permission to be great at only one thing at a time. I think my Hyperfocus actually helps me sometimes, in that it allows me to tune out almost anything.

My parents were NOT accepting of me, and my mom in particular was always trying to 'fix' me. It didn't help that she called me 'space-cadet' and said things like "Earth to Heidi; earth to Heidi!"

Going on a now refined anything diet helped my moods mainly but the only thing that has helped to manage my symptoms has been my vitamin/supplement regimen. I'd love to hear more on that.

I was actually reading in Mothering mag that ADD/ADHD is part of the Autism spectrum. That actually answered some questions for me!

I did Ritalin when I was 19, but I hadbad sideeffects, so I quit. I have thought about trying Concerta, but I'm nursing and don't know if it passes into breast milk?

Ds is too young to tell too. But chances are if we have five kids like we want, I'll probably have at least two with some form of it.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *socialworkmamma* 
Yeah, I'm totally here. Classic tale of *people-pleasing girl with ADD who learned to cope, sort of*. Since I was not running around, teachers would never think there was a problem, *I just daydreamed a lot*. Thankfully,(I guess), smart enough to compensate. Also I had older, AP parents who loved and accepted me as is, and then a great supportive DH who does the same. I've never been medicated and at this point in time don't think I ever will be. I'm a clinical social worker and have been given several scales, which all say I have ADD. I think the part that bugs me the most is feeling such a disconnect from other women. It's hard for me to maintain friendships, I just don't really have the ability to organize my time to allow for working part-time and being the kind of Mom I am and then adding female friendship into the mix. . . . Also I would hyperfocus on something, time would pass and nothing would be done. I also think lots of women are not real cool with coming to a house where there is laundry on the couch and lots of unfinished projects. Then again maybe it's my own "shame" issue with feeling like I don't measure up in the "womanly" arts of housekeeping, etc.
Yeah, this tended to ramble, imagine that, but would love to hear from other's on how the condition impacts their self-esteem in today's society with all the expectations of looking great, being organized, a perfect mother, lots of friends, a hot lover, and on and on.









I'm sorry you feel so disconnected. I've found a friend who's as messy as I am, and we go to each other's house and clean and visit. I get hyperfocused and don't clean enough and will have like one shelf of a bookshelf that looks great and the floor is a pit.









Does anyone do playdates? Is your work-schedule the same all the time? What if you set a standing date with a friend? Or for you to set a time/date that is a 'friend day', say every Thursday you do something with a friend ,not necessarily the same friend. I have no idea if these will help. After our last move, I've had a really hard time making friends, but I justs tared saying, "Okay, when?", when someone says, "Let's get together." Or saying, "What about Thursday?" Of course if it's around doing something, and you don't have a hobby, that makes it harder. You can just ignore my ideas, if they don't help!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
I tell DH that I can cook, or I can clean but I can't do both on the same day.









Me too!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
My parents were NOT accepting of me, and my mom in particular was always trying to 'fix' me. It didn't help that she called me 'space-cadet' and said things like "Earth to Heidi; earth to Heidi!"

That's not nice!









Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
I have thought about trying Concerta, but I'm nursing and don't know if it passes into breast milk?

Check Kellymom.com


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## socialworkmamma (Mar 15, 2006)

Thanks for the suggestions Maggirayne. I do just need to put in on the calendar. I noticed in your siggie you're a Christian. I am too and I've found some friends at church that totally get the ADD thing and then there is the mother of DD's best friend who made the remark to me last summer about needing to be disciplined to get things done. It really hurt. Yes, I need to work on time management, but at the same time this is from a woman who's husband is a youth minister with a very flexible schedule, who I've seen at their home helping with laundry on a Thursday morning. Not everyone has a DH with a job that allows for laundry time during the middle of the day. It just brings out my feelings of inadequacy as a women, yk? I know we all struggle with various issues but sometimes it's hard when you feel like your issue is out there for all to see. I also work part-time for a Christian adoption agency as well as seeing a couple of clients for therapy. I handle my scheduling and billing and as someone pointed out, sometimes it's one or the other, I can't do it all. I wish I could








Anyway, this thread has helped me just by knowing I'm not the only one out there. DH is helping me to organize my time as I've given him permission to "micromanage" me. He's the boss at his office, so I might as well take advantage of his skills. I think my biggest fear is having my issues impact my children. So far I've been able to keep it together enough, but it seems to get more difficult all the time. The house is the biggie for me right now. I want DD to be able to feel like she can have friends over without having to apologize. I'm not there yet. Both my children have birthdays this week, DD's is tomorrow. I feel like I have what I need, but there is always this nagging feeling I've overlooked some major thing and I'll disappoint my children. DH is a great help and I make lists for him and he does the majority of our errands because he's so much efficent and we spend less.
Take care all.
Pamela


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Oh this is cool!








I'm a christian too!

One of the things that embarasses me so much is that I can't have the ladies from church over. Even when I have three weeks notice, something seems to blow up in my face. I tried to host a pampered chef party a while back...Well, I'm glad no one had to use the bathroom!









I just started online classes at our bible college and *I am terrified!*
I've already sent myself into a panic because stuff is just NOT obvious to me the way it seems to be for everyone else.







:

Sometimes I just don't want to be different anymore.


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## Bertana (Apr 15, 2005)

Hi Everyone!
How do you self-diagnose ADD? Recently I started suspecting I might have some ADD, I have a really hard time concentrating on any one thing, but if I do I block everything else out. I have to live/die by my lists or I feel lost, and even then its hard to remember to look at my lists. etc. Daydream& doodle too much then don't get things done (like I should be doing work now!) Nothing major but its always made life feel very disorganized and frustrating. Not that I want to take drugs, but it would be helpful to put a name to my restlesness.


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## Pippi (Dec 21, 2004)

It took most of my life to figure out what was "wrong" with me. Growing up I was textbook female ADD - I was your typical "she's very bright but doesn't meet her potential" ADD kid. Meet my potential? I didn't even know where the heck my homework was, let alone have the organization to actually do it. I lived almost entirely in my head. In a way the diagnosis was a relief but I also felt much regret and grieved over it for a while, thinking of what I could have been...

I'm generally over the grief and now I embrace my freaky brain. Sure I'd love a cleaner house, I'd love to know exactly where everything is, I'd love to not get distracted by every little (and big) idea. But really, more often than not I think it helps me be a better parent.

I meet my kids where they are rather than where I think they should be...I remember A LOT of my childhood and know what its like being a child. I can have fun with them, I'm not all serious and orderly like some of my mama friends.

Sometimes I'm easily irritated but I've gotten a lot better about knowing what my triggers are - creating a little bit of quiet (if at all possible!) helps. Fish oil supplements seem to help a lot. I find its never been much of an issue at any jobs I've had - I seem to be able to keep very focused there. Its that hyperfocus bit.

The only part that is still hard is that my mother, in her typical head-in-the-sand fashion, refuses to engage when I bring up the topic. I realize perhaps it is painful for her - that she didn't know the signs (no one did back then, esp w/girls), that they weren't more tuned it, that she feels guilty. Or, maybe she just doesn't believe it. I do wish she'd at LEAST google it for a few minutes to learn a little bit about what ADD is and what it isn't.

Anyhow, I ramble....suffice it to say that I feel pretty good these days. I know how my brain is and I try to focus on all the positives. You know, creativity, humor, innovation, etc.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Yeah, I haven't been around much, oops. I could post a list of websites I found while I was in college, so I haven't looked at them in a few years, since oh, 2002?

I've got more to say but it's supper time.

ETA: I self-diagnosed when I was taking education classes and reading stuff about ADD. It all kept fitting.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Ok, Heidi, I just reread your post. For my senior year, I had one teacher who noticed I was having a hard time, and she kept me accountable. She had me write on a calendar when it was due. Then go bck three weeks and mark it start date and then mark complete date a week before it was due. I brought in the assignments to show her that were to be completed that week. I did not have any undone homework for that year, and I had retaken 5 classes only because I didn't do the homework.

I know online classes are set up differently, but by setting a start date, then you don't wait until the night before.

What college, BTW? And it is neat we are Christians!


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## mom2cash (Sep 24, 2007)

Definitely ADHD here... I've been on Adderall but that is NOT a drug that is good for me... I'm already high strung/manic enough as it is. Like PPs, I have also been on a host of other prescription meds from a young age but I'm not taking anything now and don't think I'll go back down the allopathic med route...

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maggirayne* 
I'm wondering how many of you use diet to control the ADD? When my DD has thrush, I started finding stuff on how diet makes autism and ADD symptoms appear. I'll link some stuff..

Interesting that you bring this up! I was just recently diagnosed with Celiac's Disease and am going gluten-free (one day at a time...







). The nutritionist that diagnosed me works with children with Autism and ADD/ADHD and specializes in gluten intolerance... I didn't go to her for that specifically but it will be interesting to see if cutting out gluten has any effect on my symptoms.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

These are all of the websites I have found and liked. There are 42.

I have no idea which ones still work.

Recipes:

http://www.add-adhd-help-center.com/adhd_recipes.htm

Tests:
http://www.amenclinic.com/ac/addtests/

http://adhd.kids.tripod.com/sites.html

College Students
http://www1.adhdlivingguide.com/ment...ch/default.htm

http://www.naspa.org/publications/jo...nts%20with.pdf

http://www.tulane.edu/~health/text/ADD.htm

Other Links:
http://www.geocities.com/janice13/ADD2.html

http://depression.about.com/cs/addanddepression/

http://www.adhd.com/AdultADHD/50tips.html

http://abcnews.go.com/sections/livin...lts021028.html

http://add.miningco.com/library/blco...nattentive.htm

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&l...ficit+Disorder

More specific links:
see article, The effect of pyridoxine hydrochloride on blood serotonin and pyridoxal phosphate contents in hyperactive children. Bhagavan HN, Coleman M, Coursin DB, Pediatrics 1975 Mar;55(3):437-41

Discussion board
http://www.ldonline.org/bulletin_boa...ults_adhd.html

Adult test
http://www.amenclinic.com/ac/addtests/adult1.asp

Diet
http://www.feingold.org/research_adhd1.html

Serotonin & ADD
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/htbin-po...=6&db=m&Dopt=b

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/q...&dopt=Abstract

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/q...&dopt=Abstract

List of sites:
http://www.awesomelibrary.org/Librar..._Disorder.html

http://www.additudemag.com/addabc.asp

Serotonin
http://www.adders.org/research3.htm

http://www.all-organic-food.com/add-adhd.htm

THE SEROTONIN CONNECTION

Serotonin is a neurotransmitter that has been associated with symptoms of depression. Serotonin helps regulate sleep, sexual energy, mood, impulses and appetite. Low levels of serotonin can cause us to feel irritable, anxious, and depressed. One way to temporarily increase our serotonin level is to eat foods that are high in sugar and carbohydrates. Our attempts to change our neurochemistry are short lived, however, and we have to eat more and more to maintain feeling of well being.
Medications such as Prozac, Paxil and Zoloft work to regulate serotonin. These medications are frequently helpful when used in combination with ADD and eating disorder treatment. Proper levels of serotonin can also help improve impulse control giving the person time to think before they eat.

ADD
http://www.lef.org/protocols/abstracts/abstr-016.html

http://www.edutechsbs.com/adhd/index.html

Diet
http://www.dialadietician.org

http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/0515.html

Adult ADD
http://www.addult.org/

General ADD resources
http://teis.virginia.edu/go/cise/ose...ories/add.html

General list of Adult symptoms
http://www.stanford.edu/group/dss/In...checklist.html

Laura Stevens--nutrition
http://users.nlci.com/nutrition/

http://users.aol.com/jimams/addonaol6.html

ADD references
Additional links:
http://members.aol.com/ADDisorder/4h...ml#anchor48977

http://users.nlci.com/nutrition/index.htm

Q. We have a 5-year old son with ADHD. My husband also has ADHD. I know that ADHD can run in families. I'm pregnant with our second child, and I'm wondering if there's anything I can do to prevent problems in the new baby.

A. First, eat a really good diet-4 servings of low-fat dairy products; beneficial omega-3 fatty acids; lean, low-fat meats; fresh, oily cold-water fish such as salmon, tuna, sardines, herring, etc.; at least 5 servings of fresh fruits and vegetables; whole grain breads and cereals. Avoid caffeine, all alcohol and any drugs (including over-the-counter meds) unless prescribed by your doctor. Avoid sweetened and artificially sweetened soft drinks and foods. Don't smoke or inhale second-hand smoke.

Breast-feed your baby for as long as you can. The American Academy of Pediatrics is currently recommending women breast-feed for at least a year. Delay the introduction of formula for six months if possible. Delay the introduction of solid foods until 4 to 6 months.
Encourage fruits and vegetables and discourage foods with sugar and "bad fats." Don't allow smoking in your house or car.

There are no guarantees these steps will ensure a child without ADHD but they are reasonable steps for having a happy, healthy baby.

ADD
http://www.add.org/welcome1.html

Evaluation
http://www.add.org/content/abc/basic.htm

http://www.add.org/content/women/addvance.htm

http://www.add.org/content/women/girls.htm

http://www.add.org/content/interview/nadeau1.htm
Dr JAKSA: What are the cognitive symptoms typically associated with ADD?

Dr NADEAU: Cognitive symptoms of ADD have to do with many things, including a rush of ideas which come too quickly to deal with, with sudden "brain blips" in which we lose thoughts unpredictably, and with a highly variable sense of time.

http://www.add.org/content/treatment/sensitivity.htm

http://www.add.org/content/work/traps.htm

http://www.chadd.com website for ADHD

http://www.oneaddplace.com website for ADHD

http://www.familyvillage.wisc.edu/master.html national mailing list for disabilitie


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## 636Jen (Sep 13, 2007)

Maybe it's just me.....but I'm REALLY ok having ADHD and taking Ritalin. I function perfectly when on meds. I don't have a special diet to adhere to nor avoid any kind of preservitives or dyes. I'm a multifunctional person and ENJOY being busy. I love having super-active kids! I can go from the gym, to work, homeschool the kids, take them to a playdate and then do some homework while keeping the house clean...I can't wait to start my midwifery apprenticeship!

I'm not saying that I don't agree with trying natural methods of trying to cope with ADD/ADHD but to me (this is my opinion) it's like eating lots of carrots in hopes that it will cure nearsightedness. People with bad eyesight need glasses. Has anyone looked at brain scans of people with ADD? It's really cool. http://amenclinics.com/bp/atlas/ch12.php

Does anyone else here feel good on meds and accept their lifestyle? Has anyone else noticed a significant (good) difference while on Ritalin or similar meds? Do you often hear, "Wow, how do you do it?" while thinking that it's just how life is?! IMO, I wouldn't want it any other way! However, I do appreciate those who do not like meds and want to find a different way to cope with the symptoms. I'm just wondering if there is anyone out there besides me who is ok with it.


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## waiting2bemommy (Dec 2, 2007)

Funny that I found this thread today, since I was just talking with my mom about trying biofeedback. I've been diagnosed with PTSD (from an abusive marriage), ADD as a kid (I tried a couple different meds as a teen but nothing really worked long term), depression as an older teen and most recently a therapist has told me that I showed signs of rapid-cycling bipolar. So who knows.

But I'm curious if anyone has tried and had success with biofeedback, or improving the brain's "efficiency." I'm disorganized a lot of the time and have crappy time management. I try to keep it all together but seems I'm always behind on laundry, or schoolwork, or housework, or SOMETHING.


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## EarthMamaToBe (Feb 19, 2008)

I'm not a Mom yet but I am a professional Nanny. I have ADD which was not diagnosed until college. I was your typical "very bright but doesn't work up to her potential" and "daydreams in class" kid. I also read on a 10th grade level in first grade! DH has ADHD and is on Ritalin(since he was 6). He's thinking of changing to a non-stimulant medication.

I too think that in some ways ADD makes dealing with kids easier (your attention span more closely matches theirs). I have had to learn a lot of tricks to stay organized. Our house is always a bit of a battle with the two of us (and my BIL who had ADHD also), lots of unfinished projects. But we do eventually get things done, we just don;t often finish one project before starting another.








:


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## Otterella (Oct 13, 2007)

I was diagnosed with ADD in middle school. I went on Dexedrine, and saw an immediate and significant improvement (I briefly tried Ritalin at the insistence of a new doctor in high school, but it wasn't for me). I did very well until I started college, and my doctor decided I should try Adderall (I'm fairly certain he was getting kickbacks from Merck), which didn't work at all for me. That, combined with trying to cope with the major life change of starting college caused me to pretty much just fall apart. I stopped taking the meds, and life has been a struggle ever since.

Now that I'm a mom, I'm in a place where I NEED to get back the person that I was when I was on the Dexedrine. I've already scheduled an appointment, but can't get in until the end of April. I'm not willing to take meds when pregnant, and we're thinking of starting TTC soon. DH isn't keen on the idea of me taking meds while BFing, but weaning is something I will NOT do for this. It's either take the meds while BFing or don't take them at all. I think when he sees what I'm "really" like, he'll understand how much the benefits outweigh the risk.

I'm so glad to know I'm not alone!


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## 636Jen (Sep 13, 2007)

Otterella, I read your post and it reminded me of this analogy:

Tune in to the internal dialogues of two children in geometry class. Jane's brain is in a normal state, conducive to learning. Jill's is in an ADD mode. As the geometry teacher explains how to find the area of a circle, *Jane* follows the teacher's process of calculation without being distracted: I see the circle and I can visualize that there is a line crossing through the center. That is called the diameter, and half of that is called the radius. OK, I understand the diameter and radius, and all I have to do to find the area inside the circle is to multiply the length of the radius by itself, and then multiply the result by pi (?), or about 22/7. I just do that to get the answer. I got it!

But if you were to tune in to *Jill*'s internal dialogue, it might sound like this: I see the circle, and the circle reminds me of that ring I saw on Molly's finger. I wonder where she got it. That reminds me, I have to get a new top to wear to Joe's party. Oh yeah, Joe is sitting over there and he is looking at me. I wonder if I am looking stupid again. Oh darn! The teacher is looking at me. I probably missed the lesson again, and she is going to call on me. Oh darn! Let's see. Radius squared times pi. What was pi again? Maybe it is called pi because it looks like a pie. That reminds me, I am getting hungry...

Jill, the child with ADD, is in an imaginative state. But it is not the proper time to be creative. It is the time to focus and learn in very precise steps. If Jill misses a step, she becomes anxious. She then tries to focus and regain lost ground, but she is unable to break free of the free-associative state. This inability to control mental tracking explains why a child with ADD is forgetful, cannot concentrate, becomes bored quickly, and is easily distracted. Since most of us do not have trouble focusing our minds, we assume a child who is so easily distracted is simply inattentive, lazy, or lacking in self-discipline.

waiting2bemommy, I am going to start biofeedback soon. The doctor that helps my boys with their ADHD says that my brain could be stuck in "Alpha" mode. Brain mapping can varify this. (or come up with another reason!) It's called LENS or Low Energy Neurofeedback System. Google it for lots of info!!


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Hey guys, thanks for keeping the thread alive! I've been hyper-focused on schoolwork!









anyway, I've readover the thread, and I wanted to respond to afew things.
I am actually OK with having ADD, and even though I'm not on meds, it's not because I'm philosophically opposed to meds, it's that the side effects were major, and worse than the ADD. I will, when I am done being preggers a BF'ing probably reconsider Drug therapy.









I've studied the Serotonin connection too, which is how I came up with my herb/vitamin therapy. another interesting thing about the ADD brain is that the side effects of hyper focus over the long term can be adrenal exhaustion and depression. So I'm more interested in controlling my Serotonin levels than managing my ADD, because while I AM ok with the ADD I am NOT ok with being suicidal.

BTW- thanks for the encouragement, after a rough orientation, I am sailing through my first real class. I love this, because I can read the lectures; they don't keep going if I need to wander off for a minute!








And since all the class discussion is on a threaded posting area like this one(but not quite as cool!) I never lose track of the convo. this works well, becauseI do better working intenselyfor a period of time, and then taking a break anyway. God has miraculously created time out of my week for me to work!

I had just read some where else too, that psychologists are starting to see ADD as just another way for the brain to work. And that the only problem with it is that it doesn't work well in today's society. !


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

Quote:

I had just read some where else too, that psychologists are starting to see ADD as just another way for the brain to work. And that the only problem with it is that it doesn't work well in today's society. !
And that's a really profound problem. It's unfair that we have to be medicated to get along in this high pressure society we didn't create.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *socialworkmamma* 
Yeah, I'm totally here. Classic tale of people-pleasing girl with ADD who learned to cope, sort of. Since I was not running around, teachers would never think there was a problem, I just daydreamed a lot. Thankfully,(I guess), smart enough to compensate. Also I had older, AP parents who loved and accepted me as is, and then a great supportive DH who does the same. I've never been medicated and at this point in time don't think I ever will be. I'm a clinical social worker and have been given several scales, which all say I have ADD. I think the part that bugs me the most is feeling such a disconnect from other women. It's hard for me to maintain friendships, I just don't really have the ability to organize my time to allow for working part-time and being the kind of Mom I am and then adding female friendship into the mix. I also think part of it is the part of the country I live in seems to have female friendship revolve around activities I don't think of as ADD friendly, if that makes sense. I tried to scrapbook, and would still like to, but by the time I would find what I wanted, my time for it was past. Also I would hyperfocus on something, time would pass and nothing would be done. I also think lots of women are not real cool with coming to a house where there is laundry on the couch and lots of unfinished projects. Then again maybe it's my own "shame" issue with feeling like I don't measure up in the "womanly" arts of housekeeping, etc. None of this is stuff my DH puts on me, it's how I feel about myself. Being a mother has been very healing for me on many levels. I feel like I'm a really, sensitive, loving and nurturing mother, so therfore I must be a "good woman".
Yeah, this tended to ramble, imagine that, but would love to hear from other's on how the condition impacts their self-esteem in today's society with all the expectations of looking great, being organized, a perfect mother, lots of friends, a hot lover, and on and on.









Yes, this.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
I just erased my entire post. Which about sums up my problems with ADD.

Yes, I'm overwhelmed by housekeeping too. And I'm a SAHM, and I don't invite anyone over because in my mind the house is in chaos. *I tell DH that I can cook, or I can clean but I can't do both on the same day.*

it is hard to maintain friendships because *I can easily lose the thread of a conversation* which means I either embarass myself, or I wait so long to reply people think I'm not interested. I do try to give my self permission to be great at only one thing at a time. I think my Hyperfocus actually helps me sometimes, in that it allows me to tune out almost anything.









Again yes, this! It seems like I only have so much mental energy to sustain. I can finally get around to doing some spring planting but we won't have a decent dinner for a week, the kids will be late to school, I'll forget an important bill or whatnot.

I loose the thread of a conversation or I blunder into the middle of a conversation. I objected to the suggestion that add/adhd is on the Autism spectrum, but I'm reconsidering it. It can certainly look like it when I'm floating in and out of my own world, not always aware of what other people are thinking or saying. Just the other day I read somewhere that people with add come across as insensitive or that they don't care about other people's needs.

Just an aside, dh and I many times have had better sex when I've had a cup of coffee. It probably helps us both if I can focus. It's not good when your mind wanders while you are doing the deed.









I have bipolar disorder, but I probably have add as well. It's very- challenging, to say the least.

626Jen, it's not just you. Diabetics don't think twice about using insulin. I don't think twice about using medicine to treat my chemical imbalances. But that's just me. I'm willing to experiment on myself. The thing is my 13 y.o. seventh grade dd is experiencing the exact same things I did when I was her age. She intelligent and places in the "High Acheiver" program at school. She's absolutely drowning. She can't keep up with the paperwork. She misses important details. Given enough time she can do the same work. But she misses due dates. She leaves text books at school. She loses paperwork. She's miserable and I'm miserable on her behalf. The obvious thought is that she needs to be screened for adhd and medicated if necessary. But once she receives that diagnosis that'll be it. She's going to feel even more different and broken.

I can only hope that if she gets medication it will work, so as to make the diagnosis worth while.


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## 636Jen (Sep 13, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *journeymom* 
But once she receives that diagnosis that'll be it. She's going to feel even more different and broken.

........OR.........

She could be very thankful that it's just not "HER" it's a chemical imbalance that is treatable. She could just be relieved. I know my oldest was!









Quote:

But she misses due dates. She leaves text books at school. She loses paperwork. She's miserable and I'm miserable on her behalf.
This is exactly why I took my kids out of school and homeschool them now! There's no way I wanted my kids to be in a system that wasn't designed for them.


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## ~Boudicca~ (Sep 7, 2005)

I have to jump into this tribe. After a lifetime of thinking that I was lazy, stupid, and weird, I was diagnosed this winter with ADHD. I am going to try to make this short because I am exhausted and have to go to bed.

I am trying fish oil supplements (helps with brain function), Rescue Remedy (for those days when the hysteria of being perpetually running late/on deadline are really making me nuts), and meditation to just get my mind to shut the hell up so I can focus on just one thing. So far, so good. I will only go on actual meds if things are getting really bad. I am not ready to do that. Learning time management skills, writing notes in a notepad I keep in my back pocket, and coming to terms with the fact that I am NOT Superwoman nor do I have to be have really helped.

Hyperfocus really sucks for me because I become "DragonMommy" when I am under pressure and really focused on a task and my kids bug me. It is really hard for me to step back and think before I respond.

Let's keep this thread going as much as our overtaxed brains can let us, ok?







I am looking forward to talking with moms who know the upsides and downsides of AD/HD.

Be back soon!


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## mamabens (Aug 23, 2006)

Wow it's so good to see I"m not alone. I have never been 'formally' diagnosed but I am sure that I have ADD. I was always the child who daydreamed too much or couldn't get focused & work to her potential. As an adult it's embarassing sometimes when I am trying so hard to take part in a conversation & then realize I got lost about 2 minutes ago & look like an idiot not keeping up my end. I've never tried any medication or anything never really thought about trying any. I have sort of learned to deal with it. Not very well though. The feeling lazy stuff really hit home. I can never get focused long enough to get anything done. Oh & I am always finding myself rushing at the last minute, realizing I have to get my kids dressed & to school in 10 minutes. Anyway, I'm looking into more treatments now cause it's getting harder to deal with.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *journeymom* 
And that's a really profound problem. It's unfair that we have to be medicated to get along in this high pressure society we didn't create.

ITA. Our culture is not friendly to ppl who don't fit in the box.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *journeymom* 
It seems like I only have so much mental energy to sustain. I can finally get around to doing some spring planting but we won't have a decent dinner for a week, the kids will be late to school, I'll forget an important bill or whatnot.

I feel the same way!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *journeymom* 
The thing is my 13 y.o. seventh grade dd is experiencing the exact same things I did when I was her age. She intelligent and places in the "High Acheiver" program at school. She's absolutely drowning. She can't keep up with the paperwork. She misses important details. Given enough time she can do the same work. But she misses due dates. She leaves text books at school. She loses paperwork. She's miserable and I'm miserable on her behalf.

But at least you understand where she is. My mom really did not accept my self-dx, I think she felt like it was a cop-out. But I was relieved to know there was a reason, it wasn't me.

Can she get two sets of books? One to keep at home and one to keep at school?
What some organizational tools that could simplify things for her(and you)?

I know school doesn't have a syllabus like college, but maybe she could plan a month ahead, ask the teachers for future assignments, etc? Then plan like I suggested before

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maggirayne* 
For my senior year [of college], I had one teacher who noticed I was having a hard time, and she kept me accountable. She had me write on a calendar when it was due. Then _go back three weeks_ and mark it *Start Date* and then mark it *Complete Date* _a week before it was due._ I brought in the assignments to show her that were to be completed that week. I did not have any undone homework for that year, and I had retaken 5 classes only because I didn't do the homework.

I cannot stress how much of a difference that made for me. The prof didn't attach any consequences if I didn't bring stuff in to her, it was serious enough to me I did. She was more than a little intimidating. But I knew she genuinely cared. She didn't coddle me either. But she let me cry then said "What are you going to do? Let's get on track. You can do it."

I had all A's and a couple of B's that year.

What is your daughter's learning style? I have to _hear and see_ something to really retain it. If someone is reading, my brain is all over, like Jill's! I do better remembering what I've read, but not nearly as well. I got one C on one test in one of my favourite classes b/c I missed one class doing my student practicum. All the test questions I missed were because I didn't hear the chapter for that day. I read over the chapter and a friend's notes, but it wasn't enough.

If your DD is diagnosed, then she will have an IEP(Individualized Educational Plan). This plan is written by the teachers, a SPED and agreed on with the parents. If you go in knowing what are her strengths and weaknesses, you can say, "She needs _____." and have it written in the plan.

I know that is kinda waaay down the road, but teachers want parents to care and be involved. Maybe even talking to her teachers now, ask for their assistance as you all are preparing for having her tested. Tell them you want to help her what would they recommend, what does she need help with, etc.

HTH









Heidi, I'm glad your class is going well. That's great!

Jen, your description of the two girls was exactly on!


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## socialworkmamma (Mar 15, 2006)

Glad to see the thread is still around! I loved the view that it's just how our brains work and society just doesn't get it. I've had many interesting discussions with my friend who has taken meds for several years. We're both in the mental health field and have come to the conclussion that so much of the way we process ADD as adults has to do with how our parents dealt with it. She was made to feel shamed and inadequate, and to this day the very word "lazy" triggers so much in her. Looking back and seeing how my mother runs, or doesn't run, her household now, she has it as well. While at times this led to the blind leading the blind, I was never put down and my mom understood me. On a not so good note, her own lack of organizational skills prevented her from teaching me how to better manage time. She is also never late, which I have always struggled with. I do wish society as a whole was more accepting, but for now I'm fairly satisfied with being around people that like me as I am.
I also wanted to comment that I think those having success on meds should feel great about their choice. As with any condition, the severety of symptoms varies. I might be doing much better if I was on meds and it's certainly not something I would never revisit.
Take care all,
Pamela


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Just reading one of these posts I go from







to







to







: and







and back to







. All in about a minute!

I finally made a counsel meeting at church tonight, I missed the first two, I plain forgot. Someone even reminded me the day before the last one, and I still forgot. This time I, had it written down, actually looked at my date book, and the church secretary called me this morning to remind me.







:

It's actually my Dad that has it in my family. My mother WAS constantly trying to fix me, which may have contributed to me embracing this uiqueness, and making it work for me. For a long time, I went to great lengths to do the opposite of every thing my mother did!









Journeymom; Your DD may already feel 'broken'. Why not free her by giving her the info she needs so she can learn to cope? When I was diagnosed, the Psychologist told me, "you do all sorts of things you shouldn't be able to do". That gave me great courage and made me proud. You know her best, though, and I'm sure you will make a good decision.


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## kissykoko (Feb 24, 2006)

Are any of the meds compatible with breastfeeding? I think I need to go on something at this point but I am tandem nursing my 3 yrold and my 7mos.old and I generally nurse my babes until they are 4yrsold. I will not consider weaning but I really need some help! Thanks, Crystal


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## my2kidz (Mar 25, 2008)

Hi everyone! I am new to all of these boards and really finding lots of places to fit in here







I was diagnosed with adult ADHD last year and also have depression and anxiety. I am taking effexor xr which helps with all three conditions when taken at a high enough dose. I have had ADHD my whole life but never knew, I just thought I was naturally scatterbrained. I feel better since starting the meds, but do still have my days where the clutter and to do lists are so overwhelming.


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## Night_Nurse (Nov 23, 2007)

Hi there, another ADD mom here. I have a mild to moderate case. I am not on meds but I should be. I hate swallowing pills and I guess a small part of me just doesn't _want_ to take the meds.
I recognize a lot of myself in some of the things others here have posted. I honestly had no idea eliminating certain foods could reduce symptoms of ADD. I will have to look into that.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

I know that B vitamins are compatible, and so is a little caffeine. I'd talk to a Holist and get a bigger picture. Sometimes being without any meds we can learn to compensate in unique ways.

I caught myself thinking this AM, that I am so GLAD I have ADD, because without that Hyperfocus I would never have been able to write my paper for class while my son was watching Veggietales!


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## DaughterOfKali (Jul 15, 2007)

Unofficial ADD here. I say unofficial because although my GP said that's what it is, I didn't go for a full eval or anything.

I do have a terrible time focusing.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Hello! Hello!


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## littlehawksmom (May 22, 2005)

subbing

Hello all!


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

I have lost my keys.

The whole stinkin' ring. I have absolutely no idea where they could be. Short of sorting through everything I own, I see no way to go about finding them.

This is the sort of thing I can never explain to anyone who's not ADD. Bleh.

My mom always said "well, where did you have them last?"








I know where I had them last, and THEY ARE NOT THERE.

I hope they turn up.


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## ~Boudicca~ (Sep 7, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
I have lost my keys.

The whole stinkin' ring. I have absolutely no idea where they could be. Short of sorting through everything I own, I see no way to go about finding them.

This is the sort of thing I can never explain to anyone who's not ADD. Bleh.

My mom always said "well, where did you have them last?"








I know where I had them last, and THEY ARE NOT THERE.

I hope they turn up.









I hear you. I really really do. I lost my keys in my own house on Easter sunday and haven't seen them since. It annoys the crap out of me.


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## nikkiana (Oct 19, 2007)

I'm not a mama yet, but I have ADHD inattentive type. I was diagnosed in January and started on Adderall XR. Totally and utterly shocked as to what a difference it's made with me... I went from struggling to complete anything (like... doing loads of laundry three or four times because I'd forget they were in the washer until they'd start to stink) to being able to remember to finish what I'd started.

DH is also ADHD, though he's more on the hyperactive-impulsive side of the spectrum. It's makes for an interesting household, I'll say that much.







:


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## Claire and Boys (Mar 27, 2007)

Hello! I think I may possibly belong in here. No formal diagnoses but I do seriously suspect I have ADD. I did a test online the other day which I scored very high for Aspergers traits and ADD. All my life I've felt "different" I daydream all the time and can't focus on anything. My house is a mess because I can't stay on task long enough to do anything productive







I think I coped with it as a child although I did get teased horribly, but now I'm older it just seems to be getting worse.. I drive my poor husband batty as I can't hold a conversation lol.... I just tune out in the middle. He thinks he bores me, it's not that at all, I just get a random thought in the middle and that's it, brain switch off. I can't multitask - if I'm engaged in one thing that's all I can think of. I don't really like the idea of being medicated, but it would be sort of nice to have a diagnosis, maybe I should see a Dr..


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *honeydee* 
I hear you. I really really do. I lost my keys in my own house on Easter sunday and haven't seen them since. It annoys the crap out of me.


thank you so much! I'm sorry you lost your keys too, but it makes me feel better!

then, today at the library, I realized, my Curves thing is on there, and my library card, adn my Giant bonus card.....and I keep going to the back door and realizing I only have a front door key...








Ds thinks it's a huge game, the way we keep walking around and around the house!


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

I used to lose my keys all.the.time. I have a hook I put them on by the door or keep them in my coat pocket. I hope both find them.

Oh, for cleaning and staying on a task, I read the FlyLday emails, and she says set your timer for 10 minutes and do one task for that long. And many things you can get done in that amount of time. I think it's a great idea, since I wander from room to room. But, first I have to get off my butt and set the timer.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

I find that being a mommy promotes working in five minute intervals!









I'm always amazed at how many dishes I can do in five mins!

The laundry thing is the worst though. I can spend 25 minutes anally sorting laundry into every shade and texture of fabric available, only to leave it in the washer, forgotten completely for 3 days.









BTDT!


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## nikkiana (Oct 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
I find that being a mommy promotes working in five minute intervals!









I'm always amazed at how many dishes I can do in five mins!

The laundry thing is the worst though. I can spend 25 minutes anally sorting laundry into every shade and texture of fabric available, only to leave it in the washer, forgotten completely for 3 days.









BTDT!

Your laundry habits sound like mine.







I find that on average, most loads of laundry get washed twice because I wash them.... then forget about them for three or four days, and then they smell awful and need to be rewashed.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Oh, the joys of housekeeping! (wow, I forgot I had one of those!







)

I found my Keys!!!!!! Yay!!!

They were in the House all along. DH and I were cleaning hard core on Saturday, and we found them stashed in a box under the desk, where DS had apparently dropped them. Ahhhhhh.....


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## momtoNatalee (Nov 20, 2005)

You can add me to the list. I have moderate to severe ADHD, I was "offically" diagnosed by a Licensed Mental Health Counselor back in Jan of this year, but I've known I have ADHD long before that...I started to realize that is what is wrong with me when I was around 18

As I was reading thru some of the post I just kept thinking how much I can relate to so many of you all! especially this from heidirk:

Quote:

it is hard to maintain friendships because I can easily lose the thread of a conversation which means I either embarass myself, or I wait so long to reply people think I'm not interested. I do try to give my self permission to be great at only one thing at a time. I think my Hyperfocus actually helps me sometimes, in that it allows me to tune out almost anything.
I was made fun of alot in school days! Called airhead at least once a day even though I was pretty smart, I could make good grades but had to study 10X longer than any of my friends and walk to classes still studying seconds before a test. I would chew on my pen cap until sometimes my mouth would bleed. Most of the time my leg or foot has to be constantly moving, even now as an adult. I felt so foggy brained I was scared to death to start driving and my parents had to push me....and I hit a parked car the first time I forced to drive in our neighbourhood when I was 16. As I got older and went to college even though I would study and try very hard I just started doing terrible and failed a couple classes, so I dropped out after 3 semesters.

Now a days my worst symptoms that come to mind are difficulty concentrating or finishing a task, foggy brain or zoned-out feeling!, inability to focus, inability to relax, nervous energy, interrupting others, procrastination, easily distracted,talking excessively, trouble going to sleep at night and staying alert during the day, forgetful, trouble remembering things, even for a short time, constant worrying, irritability. Basically I feel a wreak.

I waited so long before seeing a dr b/c I knew they would probably just put me on a med and I figured what was the point to go unless I decided to try a med, you know? I had heard so many things about add/adhd drugs that I was almost scared to try anything. Well, after I had my dd my symptoms went thru the roof, I literally felt like I lost control of everything and I started having panic attacks.(long story/journey getting that worked out) I eventually got the anxiety under control(w/ no meds-they never worked for me) and something still felt SO wrong with me! I finally saw a Licensed Mental Health Counselor(someone who was highly recommended by SO many people and member of our church) anyway,it was SO eye opening and intresting etc... and that is when I was "offically" diagnosed. I decided to go ahead and try a med..so I am currently taking a low dose of adderall IR (b/c I am still nursing my 31 month old I take the dose right after dd nurses in the morning and then usually by the time she nurses again it has worn off...either way b/c of her age, being on a low dose, and based on Dr Hale's website I feel fine about it with nursing) and it really has helped, not quite as much as I would have thought..but much better than before! Also I take L-Tyrosine, 500mg per day(well if I remember!) and a calcium-magnesium-zinc supplement. Anyway, what I really want to know is-

*do any of you think you that either dental amalgams-dental fillings/crowns etc.. w/ mercury or(any type of dental work using metal) or vaccines with thimerosal(mercury) or(any other metals) could have contributed to you add/adhd symptoms/diagnosis? If so, have you tried any type of detox and seen improvement?*

wow, if that wasn't a confusing paragraph?







I hope it made sense.

and I won't say how long it took me write this post







I wouldn't have been able to if dd and dh were not in the bed yet.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Hello, Momtonatalee!

I'm sorry you're feeling like a wreck right now. You're not a wreck, you're a person with a funky brain, and you are not alone!









I never thought about mercury or vaxing contributing to my ADD, but it's a provoking thought. Especially since ADD is now listen as an autism spectrum diorder...Anyone?


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## ~Boudicca~ (Sep 7, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 









Especially since ADD is now listen as an autism spectrum diorder...Anyone?

Really? No way. Do you have any links on hand because I would like to read about that.

Still have not found my keys







:


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## momtoNatalee (Nov 20, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 









Hello, Momtonatalee!

I'm sorry you're feeling like a wreck right now. You're not a wreck, you're a person with a funky brain, and you are not alone!









I never thought about mercury or vaxing contributing to my ADD, but it's a provoking thought. Especially since ADD is now listen as an autism spectrum diorder...Anyone?


Thank you. I heard that about ADD being listed on the spectrum, but haven't looked into it...interesting!


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## Lissacamille (Oct 25, 2007)

I have severe ADD and am on Adderall, which works like a miracle for me. I was diagnosed formally at 38 or 39, when I went into my dr. and said, I just can't cope anymore." I forget things constantly, I can't keep track of what needs to be done, etc. I have five kids, a DH who really chips in to help out, and a blossoming business that requires mega-concentration. I am a professional musician and I suspect that many "artsy" people are ADD!! At least all my musician friends are!







We've often discussed whether that is a requirement for being a musician, is being ADD!
Anyway, I had a nervous breakdown four years ago and had to be put on anti-psychotics (I had a BAAAD one....PTSD with reactive psychosis). Fortunately over the last four years I have been able to cut down on my meds. I do not like taking meds but I know I need to take what I have to stay semi-sane.
But you know what, no one ever talks about the BENEFITS of having ADD. It isn't all bad! We are able to concentrate really well on the things we want to concentrate on. We have lots of energy at times. WE're able to give 100% concentration when it needs be, unlike "normal" people. So don't knock ADD too much! Many great brains have had ADD and have done just fine.
Just my two cents...
Lissa


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Hello there, *Lissacamille*! Lest you think we are entirely a complainers anonymous here, we did post some good stuff about having ADD. It IS mixed in with the hopping-up-and-down-swearing stuff, but it's there!








I'm a big fan of the hyperfocus myself! I know if I wasn't blessed with this brain, I wouldn't be able to do the things I do. Your 2 cents is entirely welcome here!







I'm glad you got over that bad patch. I think most of us around here are just about doing what it takes to live in our world! And I think most creative people must have ADD too.

*honeydee*- I'm so sorry you haven't found your keys!







I'll refrain from asking any of the obvious questions!









On the autism spectrum/ADD thing, I want to say it was in a recent issue of Mothering mag! I am almost sure it was, because I shared it with a friend of mine who also has ADD when she mentioned being concerned because her daughter has a few Asperger's like traits.

I overheard one of the ladies talking at church, and saying their daughter is being tested for ADD. So of course, I pitch in! Oh, I have ADD! It's not a terrible thing, you know, lots of good comes with it. They're like, oh,what are you on? I said, B-vitamins! We had a good discussion about how it's not the end of the world and she's just wired slightly differently.


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

Hi ladies-

I found an interesting web site of patient-medicine reviews:

Ask A Patient

I looked up Strattera, Concerta, Adderall, Lamictal, Depakote and Wellbutrin. Very interesting to see what other people have to say about their first hand experience with them.


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## 1littlebit (Jun 1, 2008)

wow im so excited to find this thread! i was diagnosed with ADD after i almost failed out my first semester of college they put me on adderall and my life changed for ever... in a good way.

were any of you on medicine that worked well before you got pregnant that didnt work after? i am having such a hard time finding a medicine that works now. any suggestions?

also how do you do the who being a mom and add thing without letting your house get so disastrous its easier to move then clean up? my apt and school work has totally been left to the wayside lately.

esp since i think im lowering or going off my meds b/c im relactating and cant get clear info about adderall/ vyvance and bfing. anyone know anything or have done it? my LO pediatrician says i can if they 'watch him' (sounds a little ominous to me) others say no.. any thoughts??


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Hello, 1littlebit! it looked like the PP before you had a good site for the BFing question. . . which I may have to look up myself!

Ummmm. . . . at this point in time it would definately be easier for me to move than clean!









And, I just had the standard lecture on time management and personal responsibility and self discipline from. . . .MY PASTOR!!!!!

Umm, discipline can only take me so far, here!







:


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Journeymom- I looked at that website, and all I can say is,





























:









Holy Freakin' Cow


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## 1littlebit (Jun 1, 2008)

maybe i missed it or im looking at a differnt site but i didnt see to much on bfing but ive been on four the medications.. and either some people are taking waaayyyyy to much, are actually crazy, or someone well.. im glad i didnt have those kinds of side effect.. loss of appetite, dry mouth, constipation.. sure that i had some of... homicidal, insanity, depression? never had those.. thankgod. i have a hard enough time with medication (used to work great pre pregnancy now not so much ?!?!?!) for me being pregnant was a hellish expirience b/c everything was so much harder


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## ~Boudicca~ (Sep 7, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *1littlebit* 

also how do you do the who being a mom and add thing without letting your house get so disastrous its easier to move then clean up? my apt and school work has totally been left to the wayside lately.


Throw out everything you own. Seriously. Just get rid of your kids/baby for a day and use that hyperfocus while you clean.

I was having serious problems with anxiety and it all had to do with the fact that my house was more than I could handle and having clutter combined with no rhythm to the day was really making me feel unfocused. I couldn't take it anymore. So starting in December I started decluttering and compacting like crazy just to cut down on the stuff I had to tend to/clean in the home.

I managed to get the entire family down to 1 week's worth of clothing (because laundry was one of my biggest downfalls) and then I goodwilled the rest. A couple weeks ago my husband took the kids for one day and then my MIL had them for another and I got rid of a truckload of toys. It was absolutely nuts how many toys they had and I think I got it down to about 20-30% of what they had. That stuff also went to Goodwill. I am trying to force myself not to procrastinate and to JUST DO IT.

Decluttering has made such a difference in my life because now when I want to start one of my many projects I don't have to clean and clear a space just to get started, I can just get going. And that was something that used to truly discourage me from starting anything. I feel more relaxed in my home now and I don't feel overwhelmed and like I am going to have a panic attack every time I look around. I feel like a big weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

I am also trying to learn that things take TIME. The second I get an idea in my head I want it to happen NOW. And I will work myself into a frenzy to get results in a hurry and then become easily frustrated because I am not getting things done fast enough (for me). So I really have to force myself to stick with something so I can finally see a result in my efforts, which is how I have managed to declutter and become a somewhat sane person.


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
Journeymom- I looked at that website, and all I can say is,





























:









Holy Freakin' Cow









No kidding! There is NO professional editing. It's just hundreds of people leaving reviews of medications. I pick and choose carefully what to pay attention to.

I was relieved to find that out of 85 reviews for one med that I take, five reviews mention night sweats like I am having. So it's NOT perimenopause, thankyouverymuch.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

It really woke me up though, I didn't even know some of those were possible side effects!

AAM- (heaves a huge sigh) I actually had to explain to my Pastor that I have ADD. It's not something I broadcast, KWIM? I've only had to explain this one other time, and it was only because I KNEW what was affecting my performance, and it was completely out of my control. It didn't go well that time either.

They've given me a list of requirements for a ministry student, and they are FAIR. But one of them is that they expect 100% punctuality. Now, laying aside the fact that half the time I'm late it's because of DH, I cannot be 15 minutes early 100% of the time. Without laying down the whole conversation, I will just say, that my Senior Pastor at least, thought I was saying something like, 'well, I have ADD so I won't be on time'.

That is NOT what I was trying to communicate!







: He actually said to me, not to expect any leeway from them because of this!!!! HELLOOOO!!!! Noone has EVER given me ANY leeway for this in my entire LIFE! Why on earth would I expect sympathy NOW?????









To make it worse, because I'm pregnant and tired and stressed, I started to cry.







:
Could I have embarrased myself further, I wonder? I think not.

One of those days that just makes you want to throw in the towel. I think He may be one of those people who doesn't 'beleive' in ADD.


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## 636Jen (Sep 13, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *1littlebit* 
wow im so excited to find this thread! i was diagnosed with ADD after i almost failed out my first semester of college they put me on adderall and my life changed for ever... in a good way.

I'm so glad that you found something that worked! To me, it felt like a fog had lifted off my brain!

Quote:

were any of you on medicine that worked well before you got pregnant that didnt work after? i am having such a hard time finding a medicine that works now. any suggestions?
You could need a different dosage maybe. If you are heavier or lighter than you were pre-pregnancy, that could make the dosage less effective. Or it could be that you simply "grew out of" that med and need a different kind. The kids' doctor asks me that sometimes....if they've grown out of a dosage.

Quote:

also how do you do the who being a mom and add thing without letting your house get so disastrous its easier to move then clean up? my apt and school work has totally been left to the wayside lately.
I have ADHD so maybe that "H" is what saves my house...lol Ritalin allows me to focus more. I remember when I would try to clean the house without it and I would take something from one room, put it in another, see something wrong with _that_ room, clean it for a while and then carry something from that room to another and it would continue like that for an hour. When I stopped and looked around, I had been all over the house and exhausted but nothing was really clean! To keep my house clean now, I get on the kids to keep their rooms clean: No toys! Toys belong in the playroom in the basement. No clothes on the floor! Those belong in the hamper provided to each kid. They also vacuum their rooms twice a week. There's no eating anywhere in the house except the kitchen/breakfast area. Of course, I take care of my room, the laundry, dishes, vacuuming, dusting, etc. Hubby pitches in now and then.... Voila! a clean house!

Quote:

esp since i think im lowering or going off my meds b/c im relactating and cant get clear info about adderall/ vyvance and bfing. anyone know anything or have done it? my LO pediatrician says i can if they 'watch him' (sounds a little ominous to me) others say no.. any thoughts??
I'm not sure about breastfeeding and taking any kinds of meds. I've heard a lot of "stories" but nothing to confirm either way. I found this on a quick search:

Adderal is dextroamphetamine.
As for an alternative while breastfeeding, I'd suggest Ritalin (Methylphenidate). While we don't have any published data, we've studied milk levels in several women and they are modestly low. Doesn't seem to bother the infants.

HTH!


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

"I remember when I would try to clean the house without it and I would take something from one room, put it in another, see something wrong with that room, clean it for a while and then carry something from that room to another and it would continue like that for an hour. When I stopped and looked around, I had been all over the house and exhausted but nothing was really clean! " by 636Jen








:

BTDT!


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *1littlebit* 
esp since i think im lowering or going off my meds b/c im relactating and cant get clear info about adderall/ vyvance and bfing. anyone know anything or have done it? my LO pediatrician says i can if they 'watch him' (sounds a little ominous to me) others say no.. any thoughts??

I'd post in the BFing form and ask if someone with Thomas Hale's Medications and Mother's Milk would look it up for you.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
It really woke me up though, I didn't even know some of those were possible side effects!

AAM- (heaves a huge sigh) I actually had to explain to my Pastor that I have ADD. It's not something I broadcast, KWIM? I've only had to explain this one other time, and it was only because I KNEW what was affecting my performance, and it was completely out of my control. It didn't go well that time either.

To make it worse, because I'm pregnant and tired and stressed, I started to cry.







:
Could I have embarrased myself further, I wonder? I think not.

One of those days that just makes you want to throw in the towel. I think He may be one of those people who doesn't 'beleive' in ADD.

I'm sorry. I wish I could hug you! You didn't embarrass yourself, he showed how legalistic and uncompassionate he could be. Man, people like that really make me understand why people avoid churches and God. Argh.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
"I remember when I would try to clean the house without it and I would take something from one room, put it in another, see something wrong with that room, clean it for a while and then carry something from that room to another and it would continue like that for an hour. When I stopped and looked around, I had been all over the house and exhausted but nothing was really clean! " by 636Jen

This is sooo me too!


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## SiouxSweet (Jun 16, 2008)

Yes, this is me. I am unmedicated. Research now shows that ADD, and Tourette's are on the autism spectrum. Who knows exactly what I am, other than I have annoying sensory issues, and ADHD -- including being a former adrenaline junkie.

Things that help: A huge wall calendar. No clutter. Low volume television,Magnesium. Gluten free Diet
Doing laundry every day. Exercise. Clean house. And for some reason, drinking tons of water helps with anxiety. If I have important things to remember, I email myself, then put it on my big wall calendar -- no joke it is a large thing with dry erase. I color code kids' activities.

I also keep a simple, small purse, and have a hook to hang my keys on.
I make meals ahead and write them all out, including what snacks I have in the house, and post them on the fridge. Then I just follow the lists.

Things that don't help: being nagged for forgetting things, and a planner to write things in ( I lose the planner). It kinda sucks hating the way clothes feel, not being able to hear if I am looking, not being able to process what I see when I am listening, forgetting constantly, but I am always trying to improve my organization.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Welcome, SiouxSweet!









Thanks for that medication page, even if it isn't professionally moderated, it is very informative.

My DH and I were prescribed Flagyl for a suspected STD, which I didn't realize at the dr.'s office, or I would have asked a lot more questions, since we are each other's only partners(married as virgins). Don't these drs. know to ask questions?







:
So 30 days later, DH gets a horrible, totally horrible rash, he would lay in bed and just shudder convulsively. They said it couldn't possibly be related to the antibiotic since it had been (2-3 days) over 30 days since he'd had the antibiotics, so it couldn't possibly be those. But 8 or 9 other people on that review page had had rashes also. My DD was a newborn (just that week!) and he kept me up more than she did. It was really frustrating.


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## ~Boudicca~ (Sep 7, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 

*honeydee*- I'm so sorry you haven't found your keys!







I'll refrain from asking any of the obvious questions!










Oh yeah, those things are GONE! They still haven't turned up. Oh well.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lissacamille* 
But you know what, no one ever talks about the BENEFITS of having ADD. It isn't all bad! We are able to concentrate really well on the things we want to concentrate on. We have lots of energy at times. WE're able to give 100% concentration when it needs be, unlike "normal" people. So don't knock ADD too much! Many great brains have had ADD and have done just fine.
Just my two cents...
Lissa


I tell you what, some days it seems like a blessing and a curse. It is a blessing for my job because I waitress and let me tell you hyperfocus is a beautiful thing on a busy Saturday night.

I really think that I wouldn't be as creative as I am without it, and I am an idea person through and through. I have so many dreams but I fail in the follow-through aspect. So I am learning how to ask for help and delegate so I can make things happen.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Hi all, and welcome, *SiouxSweet*!









Bear with me, ladies, as I respond to several people. I haven't figured out the partial/multiple quote thing yet!

*Honeydee*- you never did find them?!







Watch now, they'll turn up tomorrow. 









What you said about asking for help does sometimes backfire on you, though, like it did with my pastor!

*Maggirayne*- Thank you for your kind words!







It seems the other pastor (my female associate pastor whose grandson has Asperger's) does understand and has extended a sort of unspoken support to me.

I'm so sorry about your DH! IME noone ever beleives you were a virgin when you got married. At least doctors don't, anyway!









*SiouxSweet*-I thought it was interesting, too that ADD and ADHD now appear on the Autism Spectrum. It does explain some things though!

I also have some sensory issues, and I can distinctly remember sitting in school (tenth grade English) and being entirely absorbed by the fact that one of my socks had fallen down. I plotted how I was going to fix it until the bell rang.









I liked your list of things that do and don't help. I have a basket by the door that my keys go in the minute I step into the house. I am a listmaker too, a compulsive listmaker. We went to Chincoteague a few weeks ago, and if anyone besides DH had seen the twelve or so lists it took to get us packed and out the door, they'd have locked me away! I'm quite proud though, because the only thing we forgot was DS's stuffed animal, and that was because I told DH to grab it, and HE got distracted!









Nagging doesn't help me either, but a gentle reminder can help.

AAM- unfortunately, I am faced with preparingthe house for FIL on Saturday. . . We'll see what I can accomplish before 9:00pm on Friday!
Did I mention I'm a procrastinator?


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Heidi, you are so welcome. I know how frustrating it is and the gap between ppl's understanding. My mom see ADD as an excuse to not do stuff I was supposed to. Huh, it was so relieving to know 'what was wrong with me'. I would desperately want to do stuff and felt like I was sabotaging myself. I hated college.

To multi-quote, click the button between the Quote and the Quick-reply buttons. It took me awhile to figure it out.

I need to stay home tomorrow and clean, I'm hosting a women's(MOPS offshoot) book club next Wednesday, and DH would be thrilled if the house were clean when he came home tomorrow, and we didn't have to do it all weekend. Sooo, I'll PM you and encourage you and tell you what I've gotten done by lunch tomorrow, what do you say? Otherwise I can spend all morning(and afternoon) online.







:

I am such a last minute cleaner, make that hider and stuffer.








the sock
I used to spend hours watching the squirrel in the oak trees out my window. My mom just didn't get why I didn't get my schoolwork done.







:
And then I'd read and would slide the book under the desk and hold with my leg. Heh, I could hyperfocus when reading what I wanted to.

Yay for you and your lists! I love it when I don't forget stuff(or have to make [multiple] trips back into the house).


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Maggirayne- I totally relate with the reading under the desk thing, I thought I was the only one who did that! I could prop the book up in the pencil tray under the desk, and then I could just slide it in quick if the teacher came. Of course, I got so involved in my book, I never did see the teacher comeing anyway!









I have the last minute stuffing down pat. The only problem is, my attic is full, and my house doesn't have any closets!







I seriously want to just rent a dumpster and fill it to the brim. I am SO sick of STUFF.
I told DH yesterday that I was about to just start pitching stuff if I didn't get is help soon (like tomorrow!) and he said, "I believe you." Good, now HELP ME!!!!!!!







:

Thanks for the multi quote tip. I'll try that when I have more time.

We're waiting for it to be time to go to our play date, so all I'll get done this morning is laundry, but that's a good thing, since the hallway to our one bathroom is essentially the laundry area, and right now you can hardly walk through it! ARGH!

Right now I have a totally naked toddler bouncing up and down on his baby potty watching a BOZ video. Now he has one foot IN the potty, oh well . . . .


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Hey everyone,
It seems we all have our own little set of 'tricks' we learned. Let's share a few of our best/funniest ones.

Here are a few of mine. . .

I often 'see' things being written on the inside of my head. I have trouble tracking when I'm listening, so if I can 'see' it, even if it's brief, I can recall it later.

I also 'see' scripts of past conversations when remembering one. Literally scripted like a play.

When I forget something, like where was I going with this book anyway?, I go back and repeat exactly what I was doing before I forgot it, and it will often pop back into my head!

Anyone see a visual theme here?


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Oh man, I didn't try reading in class, well, what I described wasn't!







I was down the hall in my bedroom. But I did once, later when I was in a private school, ad got caught. Haha! But in English class, I did read a different story in the same book, some of the other students were skow readers outloud, so I'd get bored and read somethng else, flipping back and forth.

Okay, here's a weird one for finding lost things. Last year a couple gave me a Walmart giftcard for DD, who will be 14 mos next week. I' not sure how, but it disappeared. DH and I were talking about it the night before last. Just now, I picked up a tube of chapstick out of a box (that the Arm's Reach came in about 6 weeks ago, and I've been putting toys in). and next to the chapstick is a giftcard envelope, lo and behold, it's the missing giftcard, which could have fallen off the endtable along with the chapstick. But the kicker is, I lost the giftcard _at my IL's_. The box was under a purse I used to use, and have been kept some sewing stuff in, and I could have stuck the card in there and it fallen out this week, but how weird is that?

Okay, to answer your question about tips, I'm terrible about writing a grocery list. I shop off the ads and usually 'have to get' 3-5 things, so I initialize, I need milk, bread and cheese, so say MBC and look at three fingers, so I remember I needed 3 things besides the two extra things I picked up.









I also talk aloud to myself, now to DD while shopping.

And my DD loves to stick her feet in the potty. Why?!!!!


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

that's too weird!


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Heidi, I missed your PM, my inbox gets cluttered too.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

TeeHee, just like everything else! Don't I know it!









What's funny is, I did get the bathroom and the Living room clean, and parts of other rooms, and FIL did come and replace our sink! YAY!!!!!! It's beautiful. . .sigh

Now, the house has once again descended into Chaos and MY parents are comeing to spend the weekend on Thursday night!









What I really need is a warm human to come over to my house and just say, "Start here!" and I'd be fine. I've been cleaning parts of the house for two weeks, with the end result that none of it is truly clean.

I think there's actually less clutter here than there seems to be, but I haven't been able to make a start.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

I am in the middle of a really fun creative time right now, and I don't feel so tired. I'm not sure what's changed, but THIS is when I really love my brain. When I'm this way, I can pull any two things out of the cupboard/fridge andmake a fantasctic meal out of it. For instance I made a 'Heidi' original potato chowder last night and it was delicious!







:

I also have all these great ideas, like how to rearrange my one room so I actually have space for a desk, and how to rearrange the nursery-which is months away. I am planning to make a few things for the BB, like sweaters andthings, and I have the yarn. And if I wanted to I could sit down and digest a few of those theology texts my Brother lent me months ago.

I really feel much better than I have in ages, so I'm off to take advantage of some of this creative energy.


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## angela40 (Mar 25, 2008)

i was diagnosed by a pill pusher 2 yrs ago at age 38. at the time i hate to say but i just really wanted the meds so i could stay awake. i was falling asleep driving my kids around and working full time and taking call at night at the time. i was put on adderall xr but over time it started giving me a crash and burn feeling. i never believed i was add either and didn't really bother researching what adult add was.
fast forward to now i have been off meds and at home with the kids for 1 yr and am horrible at keeping house etc it is no better than when i was working. i am seeing a child psych about my kids and mentioned the add thing and she told me it was very common to be able to compensate until you add too many things (like kids etc) to the mix and then it really shows and you are diagnosed as an adult. this shocked me (as i was in denial) and i went and got women and add (a book) and it was like reading about myself. now i so wish i had learned about it while on the meds and gotten a good therapist familiar with it.i can't take any meds right now (pg) but as soon as i am not pg /bfeeding i am going right back on them and in the meantime i plan to find a good therapist who can help w other suggestions besides just the meds.
sorry so long!


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Welcome Angela40!







The more the merrier!

A lot of people get diagnosed the same time as their kids do, especially women, because for a long time the thought was that girls don't GET ADD!! I remember when I got diagnosed, my dad saying, 'well, I read that test, and I must have it too!'

Can you give us the author's name for that book? I had one with a similar title years ago, and lost it.









Another good one is 'You mean I'm not lazy,crazy or stupid?' I don't remember the author for that one, either.

Remember, NO SHAME, girl! This is the brain you have, and there can be enormous advantages to it, and tremendous gifts. I like how your psych put it about compensations working until you add one too many things. That's been my experience as well.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Hi girls, how's everyone doing?


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## missbuns (Oct 16, 2007)

this is an interesting thread.

i was diagnosed at 15 and put on everything under the sun until i stopped cold turkey at 29. i've taken everything from dexedrine to effexor to klonopin to zyprexa.

right now i am really struggling with the brain fog thing. i actually feel pretty crazy. when i clean i do the same thing someone previously posted about--i walk back and forth needlessly for hours. today i was watching myself do it but didn't know how to stop. for example in the kitchen i will notice smudges around the cupboard door handles and clean them off. then i will notice a shelf is gross so i clean that one shelf. then i see a piece of trash and take it to recycle. now in the mean time there are smudges all over the outside of the shelves, all dirty shelves inside and 10 things that need to be recycled. instead of doing complete jobs of each chore i just do one thing at a time over and over again. and two hours later the kitchen still doesn't look clean.

it makes me feel like i have brain damage.

like someone else mentioned i am really getting suspicious of all my mercury fillings.

i'm also having friend issues. i KNOW i seem insensitive, bored and uninterested but i just don't know what to say 75% of the time. i'll be in a group and someone makes a joke and everyone laughs and i'll either start laughing before everyone else (i do this ALL the time in movies or even with sitcom laughter..it's like i "get" the joke before it happens) or else i will not laugh at all or do some fake laugh.

and i for sure live in my head most of the time!

sigh...i could go on for hours.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *missbuns* 
this is an interesting thread.

i was diagnosed at 15 and put on everything under the sun until i stopped cold turkey at 29. i've taken everything from dexedrine to effexor to klonopin to zyprexa.

right now i am really struggling with the brain fog thing. i actually feel pretty crazy. when i clean i do the same thing someone previously posted about--i walk back and forth needlessly for hours. today i was watching myself do it but didn't know how to stop. for example in the kitchen i will notice smudges around the cupboard door handles and clean them off. then i will notice a shelf is gross so i clean that one shelf. then i see a piece of trash and take it to recycle. now in the mean time there are smudges all over the outside of the shelves, all dirty shelves inside and 10 things that need to be recycled. instead of doing complete jobs of each chore i just do one thing at a time over and over again. and two hours later the kitchen still doesn't look clean.

it makes me feel like i have brain damage.

like someone else mentioned i am really getting suspicious of all my mercury fillings.

i'm also having friend issues. i KNOW i seem insensitive, bored and uninterested but i just don't know what to say 75% of the time. i'll be in a group and someone makes a joke and everyone laughs and i'll either start laughing before everyone else (i do this ALL the time in movies or even with sitcom laughter..it's like i "get" the joke before it happens) or else i will not laugh at all or do some fake laugh.

and i for sure live in my head most of the time!

sigh...i could go on for hours.


I had to smile as I read your post, especially about the cleaning part, and the laughing first at jokes part.

First of all Welcome and







s to you. IMO you do NOT have brain damage, but it feels that way sometimes.

I've been cleaning Heidi style for the last three weeks, and I noticed two things- 1. I am very tired. and 2. my house actually looks better! I was very surprised!







A friend came over and I realized that I didn't have to move piles off the couch so she could sit down! And later, someone else stopped by, and said, 'wow, Heidi, your house looks really clean!'









SO I've decided that if I do that-wander around the house for an hour in the morning attacking the most immediate messes, I might actually be OK! Think of that-I'll be thirty next month, and I've finally figured out how to clean my room!









I'm sorry you're having friend issues, missbuns.







At least you can vent your frustrations here, and we'll all know what you mean!







: I think I speak for all of us when I say, I know how lonely it can get. Forging friendships takes a lot of energy for me, and it's energy I often do not have.

BTW, you probably DO get the joke before everyone else, that's the way our brains work, we skip connections most people have to make, and so sometimes we get there faster! Of course sometimes, we arrive at another place entirely, but that's another topic!








I once 'solved' and episode of CSI during the intro, and would have ruined it for everyone had it not been a rerun, and Me and DH were the only ones who'd never watched the show before. My cousin looked at me and said, 'How do you know that?'









It's one of those interesting 'skills' we have. . .


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Bump


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Hi and welcome Missbuns and Angela40!









Quote:


Originally Posted by *angela40* 
i am seeing a child psych about my kids and mentioned the add thing and she told me it was very common to be able to compensate until you add too many things (like kids etc) to the mix and then it really shows and you are diagnosed as an adult. this shocked me (as i was in denial) and i went and got women and add (a book) and it was like reading about myself. now i so wish i had learned about it while on the meds and gotten a good therapist familiar with it.i can't take any meds right now (pg) but as soon as i am not pg /bfeeding i am going right back on them and in the meantime i plan to find a good therapist who can help w other suggestions besides just the meds.

Eh, don't worry about being too long, that's what an intro is for! I know what you mean with the brain fog. When I get home, I'll check, I've got a book about diet and ADD. *Driven to Distraction* is a good book.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *missbuns* 
right now i am really struggling with the brain fog thing. i actually feel pretty crazy. when i clean i do the same thing someone previously posted about--i walk back and forth needlessly for hours. today i was watching myself do it but didn't know how to stop. for example in the kitchen i will notice smudges around the cupboard door handles and clean them off. then i will notice a shelf is gross so i clean that one shelf. then i see a piece of trash and take it to recycle. now in the mean time there are smudges all over the outside of the shelves, all dirty shelves inside and 10 things that need to be recycled. instead of doing complete jobs of each chore i just do one thing at a time over and over again. and two hours later the kitchen still doesn't look clean.

it makes me feel like i have brain damage.

i'm also having friend issues. i KNOW i seem insensitive, bored and uninterested but i just don't know what to say 75% of the time. i'll be in a group and someone makes a joke and everyone laughs and i'll either start laughing before everyone else (i do this ALL the time in movies or even with sitcom laughter..it's like i "get" the joke before it happens) or else i will not laugh at all or do some fake laugh.

and i for sure live in my head most of the time!

Yep, wandering around half-doing things, I do that all the time.

I was really fortunate. I knew I'd better have a deadline for cleaning before my parents came, so I invited a bookclub over for our first official meeting, which was a few days before they came. I had everything in order, not exactly cleaned, but got rid of just piles of clothes and sorted a bunch of stuff for a yardsale a friend was having. I had all rooms straight except the spare bedroom. Well, I was riding my (green) horse, and I'm very inexperienced, and fell off and broke my left arm. Thankfully I'm right-handed, and I had a friend who helped me get my spare room cleaned. But accck! I had to have surgery and a plate and screws put in. Pretty exciting.


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## 636Jen (Sep 13, 2007)

Has anyone ever looked at an ADHD brain scan? Pretty interesting.

http://www.amenclinics.com/ac/waysto...p?refWays=adhd


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## MOJOSWIFE (Dec 30, 2006)

I have done alot of research on this and had the opportunity to speak with a leading neuro scientist from university of pa. she told me that they only companies doing these scans at this time are private companies that are for profit and there is no medical back up available yet for reading these scans. she said they are perfect for the mom that is completely frustrated and at thier wits end but there is not scientific basis to the readings. they are very expensive. has anyone had one done. i would be curious to hear your opinion.
make it a great day!


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## 636Jen (Sep 13, 2007)

Daniel Amen's Credentials&#8230;

Dr. Daniel Amen is a Board Certified Child, Adolescent and Adult Psychiatrist

Helped pioneer the use of brain SPECT imaging in psychiatry

Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry and Human Behavior
UC, Irvine, School of Medicine

Trained at Walter Reed Medical Center in Washington, DC

Distinguished Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association

Award Winning Researcher, Writer and Teacher

I don't know what you mean by "no medical backup." Have you watched his DVDs? I have some if anyone wants to borrow them. They are FACINATING and really make you understand the world of ADHD. I showed them to my mom and dad when they doubted even the existance of ADHD. The kids' doctor is the one who recommended them to me. I don't think you're giving this research enough credit. It's not "just" for moms who are frustrated. I think that sheds a terrible light on the disorder itself. Look at the scans themselves...you can clearly see a difference in the way the brain behaves. You don't need to be a doctor to see that. Also, what's the difference on what kind of hospital does the research? Private hospitals for profit? This is a way inwhich they can DO research that doesn't have to be funded by the government. The profits GO TO research like this. Why would that be a problem? I don't understand your post at all.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Maggirayne- How's your arm doing now?

THe brain scan thing is very interesting. IMHO most hospitals are at least partly for profit, due to insurance companies' massive involvement- but that'd be a whole 'nother thread.









Maybe it's a good thing that someone's actually looking for some empirical evidence for the case of ADD/ADHD. Since so many of our symptoms look like plain laziness/forgetfulness, I'd personally love to have a brain scan to staple to a doubter's forehead as proof!


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
Maggirayne- How's your arm doing now?

THe brain scan thing is very interesting. IMHO most hospitals are at least partly for profit, due to insurance companies' massive involvement- but that'd be a whole 'nother thread.









I am doing pretty well, thank you for asking! I have a hard time getting comfortable at night. I'm glad I don't have a teeny baby that would need to bel held all the time. My mom and dad came for a planned visit and just left this morning, which the timing was providential. I could have rotator cuff damage, but I'm praying that if there is, God heals it--I do not want another surgery.

I found this book, Fidget to Focus that looked interesting, has anyone read it?

I have seen Amen's website several years ago. There are definitely differences in how the brain scans look.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
Since so many of our symptoms look like plain laziness/forgetfulness, I'd personally love to have a brain scan to staple to a doubter's forehead as proof!









Hehe, ITA!


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

I hope it heals too.









I don't even have to look at a book entitled 'Fidget to Focus' to know it'd be an interesting read for me!







I never fail to amaze people with the sheer amount of doodling/styrofoam cup sculptures I can produce in one hour long lecture/sermon/meeting/whatever!!

I remember in 2nd grade I sat next to a little boy who would constantly ask me, 'jgoddababynyrnee?'. I had no idea what he meant until one day I asked him. he said, 'you bounce your knee all the time, do you have a baby on your knee?'







I personally find it hard to believe that my symptoms were not obvious to all those around me, but no, I got to 12 th grade before anyone suspected!


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
I hope it heals too.









I remember in 2nd grade I sat next to a little boy who would constantly ask me, 'jgoddababynyrnee?'. I had no idea what he meant until one day I asked him. he said, 'you bounce your knee all the time, do you have a baby on your knee?'







I personally find it hard to believe that my symptoms were not obvious to all those around me, but no, I got to 12 th grade before anyone suspected!

That's funny, how he said it so you couldn't understand. I dunno it hit my funny bone anyway. How many times a day would he ask you? Yeah, I feel that adults don't see things a lot of times unless they want to see. My mom was really upset when I first suggested I had ADD.

I used to take a sketchbook to church just to draw in--I'd draw pictures of stories from the Bible or once the pastor's sermon. And then in college I would keep notes/journal during chapel, and whisper with my best friend, we both felt we got a lot more out of chapel sharing about it. We'd talk about what the speaker was talking about. I pretty much quit journaling when I got married, and then pretty much only on Sundays in church, but since having DD, well, I do good to get to church on time with the diaper bag and toy bag, nevermind bringing my journal. Sigh. I miss journaling.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

I miss all my creative outlets too. I feel like I use up all my creative energy just dealing wiht real life.

I used to draw, paint, and write poetry.

I'm with you on the getting anywhere (but especially church) with the diaper bag/drinks/etc. on time.!


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
I miss all my creative outlets too. I feel like I use up all my creative energy just dealing wiht real life.

I used to draw, paint, and write poetry.

ITA!!!! I have watercolours, used to crochet, rubberstamp, I'm getting into beading, what am I thinking? I have a 15 mo who likes to get into everything!

I quit journaling because my husband didn't like me writing about him. Sigh. I talked about it a while ago, and he said he didn't mind if I wrote now, but I'm out of the habit.


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## ~Boudicca~ (Sep 7, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maggirayne* 
ITA!!!! I have watercolours, used to crochet, rubberstamp, I'm getting into beading, what am I thinking? I have a 15 mo who likes to get into everything!

I quit journaling because my husband didn't like me writing about him. Sigh. I talked about it a while ago, and he said he didn't mind if I wrote now, but I'm out of the habit.

I can totally relate to this. I also start new hobbies and projects but I have yet to finish one single thing. I write, draw, do water colors and acrylic painting, got into rubber stamping, I can knit.

I can sew but not really well. I think with a few tutorials with an experienced seamstress would be very helpful. Last summer, I got this BRILLIANT







idea to become serious about sewing. And my impulsive side reared its ugly head to the tune of *$4000* when I was in a fabric store and decided to buy a brand new Pfaff serger and a sewing machine. I am so mediocre at using them that I get frustrated and they are now sitting in my closet. I have big dreams for those machines, I really do.










You know, it really really sucks being a jack of all trades but a master of none.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Oh, yeah! I have beads in my attic, a latch hook thingy, and probably a lump of clay!









I crochet, am learning to knit, and study Latin periodically!

I would love to learn to sew, and my grandmother's old Pfaf sewing machine sits in my 'sewing room' untouched because I have no idea how to use it!









Noone ever said I was boring!







:


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Oh man, a Pfaff serger and a Pfaff sewing machine?









My husband said if I made a place for a sewing machine I could get one. I've been thinking a serger would be nice for cloth diaper sewing, etc.

I don't have a machine, but I've got fleece for making a diaper cover and skirtie, a poncho, various wool sweaters for turning into longies, and numerous other projects I want to do and NO sewing machine.







My mom made my ring sling from Jan Andrea's website with the pleated shoulder, with fabric I'd bought in November. I got a Waldorf doll kit from Joy's Waldorf Dolls the week before Christmas and finished is just after DD's birthday in May. But I did get it done! Well, the hat needs finishing.









ETA: My husband's been studying Latin for a couple months now.


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## ~Boudicca~ (Sep 7, 2005)

Yeah, those machines are like my babies but I don't talk or play with them nearly as much as I do the other ones!


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

I hate to say this, but I don't even know what a serger DOES!

I'd love to sew some diapers, but, true to form, I need someone to SHOW me how to USE the machine!


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

A serger finishes seams/edges. http://images.google.com/images?hl=e...-8&sa=N&tab=wi
oh yeah, on prefolds, the edges are serged. I saw a DIY on Diaperswappers where you can make fitted out of pfs, btw.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Cool! I found some neat diapermaking patterns I am eager to try. My mom is comeing back to the area, maybe she will show me how to sew. Like I need another hobby?!


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

I glanced at those and thought they were diaper patterns and thought, I wonder if Heidi will find some patterns. I hope you have fun sewing with your mom.

My mom made me a gorgeous Chinese brocade ring sling following Jan Andrea's pattern. I wish I'd been more involved, but she did it using my friend's sewing machine while I was babysitting.


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## Leatherette (Mar 4, 2003)

I have ADD, officially diagnosed as an adult, took Ritalin for a year, stopped when we wanted to try to get pregnant, and went back on it (Concerta Extended Release) three weeks ago (9 years after going off the first round of Ritalin). I feel like a real, connected person again. I was having so much trouble with socialization. Get along great with little kids, can't follow along with the grown-ups! They can't just get to the point!

I had a lot of coping mechanisms that worked for me as a child, young adult, and as a SAHM, but I returned to work 2 years ago (Special Ed Teacher!), and am realizing that I can't use the "I'm New" excuse anymore. I am also interested in returning to school to be a principal, and know I will need to be more organized to pull that off!

Meetings, planning, paperwork - those parts of my job require that I be medicated. As well as scheduling playdates for two social butterflies......

Thanks for the thread!
L.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Hi Leatherette! Welcome to our goofy little club!

I DID find some diaper making patterns, but I found some even better kits! Now that's the way to go! AIO's and everything, and not to $$$ either!

I think I can use the 'fake serger' technique with my Pfaff. . . Now I just need to find some cotton fleece for less than 11.50 a yard!


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

So how is everyone with school starting, etc?

I have been super-tired with my arm healing, altho' I've got a pretty good range of motion. I've started in strengthening excercises. It is really hard babysitting a 3 yo, 1 yo and my own 15 mo. And I convinced DH I'd be more motivated to clean my own house, since I'd have less time to goof off.







Riiiiight. The only person I was fooling was me, but I was serious. The babysitting is 3 afternoons a week, but I'm shot. I got a load of laundry washed and the dishwasher loaded, told DH I'd clean the kitchen if he made lunch and supper. He made me breakfast too. But I'm tired and want to get out of the house. But I want my hou, well, apt clean, but I don't have the energy. Sigh. Sorry. I guess I'm a little stressed.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

I guess we can be stressed together! I hope your arm heals soon, and God bless your DH for cooking!

With DH losing his regular job, things have been crazy/out of control around here, too. I'm far enough along in my pg now that walking any distance feels incredibly awkward, and I'm tiring easily.
I busted my butt this week to get the house clean, and got it too about 50 %. Which means the rooms that are clean are 95% clean, and the rooms that are not are terrible.

I also cleaned the church this week, and I was in PAIN!!! My mom yelled at me!







My parents have moved back in with my gram, and I guess I've just got so many thigns running around in my head lately, it's like a pingpong game in there right now!

The more tired I am, the worse my symptoms get, too, and so add that to being pregnant, I barely know what day it is!

I'm really scrambling to get prepared for the baby. I have it all in my head what we need to do, but with DH working 55 hrs at his summer job (cause that's all we ahve right now) mainly it's going to be finding the time to get it all done.

I have to stop myself from thinking things like, 'What will I do when I'm homeschooling, and pregnant?!' Shut up, brain! Shut up!!


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Oh mna, I had huge plans for house-cleaning on Saturday. I did load and run the dishwasher, waiting to be unloaded, and handwashed stuff that needed it. I got that and one loda of laundry washed _and_ hung!

Sometimes I think about having a baby next spring/early summer, but gack, I am so tired already, I don't need to add a baby to this mix.

I am so sorry about your DH's job. I'll be praying he finds a new one, I assume the summer one runs out soon?
Hw many weeks are you along, oh duh, I see your sig.








And







laundry, I feel like that's all I do. sigh
How old is your LO? Sorry if you mentioned, and I just can't remember. BTW, if you ever want to just talk, I'd love visit with you (I have unlimited long distance) and you could PM me your #.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Wow, where have we all gone?

and Heidi, how did your online classes go?

I was reading Pamela(socialworkmama)'s first post, and I wonder if it is an ADD tendency to try to do too much? Or to underestimate how much time things will actually take. . .

Oh, and anyone else who would like to visit, you can PM me too, not just Heidi.


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## Braann (Feb 1, 2005)

Hello,








I'm 26 and just beginning to wonder if I may have ADD. I just took a couple of the online test thingies and had fairly high results.
I just started thinking about it the last week or two because I just started homeschooling my 5 year old. I am having a hard time with that and everything else that needs to be done.
I don't feel like I'm able to keep track of it all. IF I get all of his school for the day done I can't seem to clean/do dishes/etc,etc... I lose things, the house is a mess. I try to clean, but when I start I leave it unfinished in a worse state than it was before. I have clean laundry piles in all of my baskets because I can't seem to get it folded and put away, I know that I should but I CAN'T make myself do it.
Anyway, sorry about that. I guess that I was trying to give some examples of why I was thinking ADD, and got a little carried away








Well, I've got a sick little one who just woke up, so I'll post s'more later.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Oh you're fine, that sounds like most of us when we first posted! Or rather, anytime we talk about housecleaning!
Welcome!
I wish there were an easy way to get and stay organized that works with my brain. Getting rid of almost everything would probably be a start. I'm rather terrified of the thought of homeschooling. I like the idea of unschooling/self-directed learning, but at the same with me being ADD, it sounds like a recipe for disaster.

And oh my, you're littlest is only a few months older than my first, yeah, I'm going to be having more before she's school-age and the thought trying to raisie babies and do HS, eek!


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Braann- Hi! and welcome! You sound as if you'l fit right in!







: Or should it be







I never know!







I think we all have the 'I've started it and can't finish it' problem! Like DS's baby blanket that I started almost three years ago now. . .







: Seriously all I have left to finish is the edging!









Hi Maggirayne! Sorry, I've been off in my own little world!







Yeah the job thing really stinks, and I was scared out of my mind for a while, but it looks like DH will have a new job before his summer job runs out of work for him! yay! Insurance will not be available for 6 mos, but medicaid should cover us until then, and it's going to be more expensive. . . but it's a steady job. DS was 2 in June, and he is a very exuberant boy! People have one of two comments for me when I'm out with him- 'Oh, he's such a sweet boy!' and 'Wow, he must keep you very busy!'









Argh. . . so the house has again descended into chaos







but my mom has yelled at me for overexerting myself. . . so I have a reasonable excuse!
October seems so far away, until I count weeks, and then it's like, AHHHHHH! When am I going to get this house cleaned???!!!! I'm trying hard to find a balance between resting when necesary, and making the most of my available time. . . just makes me confused really!

I do feel as if I'm juggling madly, because on top of looking for aid to fill in the gaps in our budget, and being a preggo mommy with ADD, and my church work--Support group meetings for our psoriasis network are starting up again this month, and I have a baby to get organized for!!!

So, yes, I think we who deal with ADD/ADHD do tend to take on too many tasks!









I had also found a website about dyscalcula, which quite neatly explains my problems with math, time, directions (driving I mean), and stuff like that. Who knew those things could all be related?!

I just read over this, and it seems so disconnected, but there we are! If anyone'd understand, It'd be you guys!


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Hi there! In the interest of limiting FYT to subjects not hosted elsewhere on the board, we have moved your tribe here. You're still a tribe, which means you're still support-only. If you have any questions about the move, please do not discuss it on the boards. Rather, contact an administrator or start a thread in Questions and Suggestions. Thanks, and happy posting!


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## gabysmom617 (Nov 26, 2005)

Hi! Another ADD mom here....Not on meds due to pregnancy, and really feeling the brunt of it these last few months.


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## KurumiSophia (Nov 28, 2007)

Hi. ADHD combined type mom here. Oh and anxiety and depression too. Have one DD 11 months old, one DH who's bipolar.

Whee.

Can't think of too much to say at this time. (haven't had my morning dose of caffiene) so I'll leave it here and come back at it later.


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## sonrisaa29 (Feb 3, 2007)

I'm new too this thread. I was diagnosed with ADD when i was six, years before it was popular or well heard of. I took Ritalin on and off for years. Then in college I switched to Dexedrine and can't imagine my life without it. I will say that for the first time I tried DHA (strawberry flavor none the less) and in combo with my meds worked really well.

I'd love another little one but being off meds was extremely hard for me. Even on my meds I find it next to impossible to clean our apartment. I get distracted by other things. Like being on the computer







Or i go to clean a room and then i take the stuff to the other room and then I get stuck in that room and so on.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Hey mamas, I just realized Parenting might not be the best fit for you, since this is not just about how ADD/ADHD fits with parenting. If you'd like to go back to FYT or can think of another forum that already would host this conversation (I can't but I am kind of tapped







) just PM me and let know.


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

I came across this interesting article about bipolar disorder and older dads just this morning. I'm posting this here because many of us are aware that there's a huge overlap in symptoms between adhd and bipolar, specifically bipolar II. I believe I've posted here before. Anyway, I have bipolar II, and my daughter is currently being treated for adhd.

By the way, my father was 45 y.o. when I was born.

I was kind of surprised to find this thread here in Parenting anyway. Didn't it used to be in the Tribes forum?? Sounds like the right place to me.


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## MommaFox (Jul 21, 2008)

I hate to jump in after they've asked us to move, but I'm subbingto this one. ADHD Self-medicated with caffine. I know.... But seruoisly, it's all natural and no more dangerous than other stimulants. DH id Adhd as is DS, and most likely, this little one comming. OH well! When we get settled, I'll post more


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## elisent (May 30, 2006)

Hi! I'm self-diagnosed with ADD and the psychologist who diagnosed my son agrees that I'm probably right, although he can't diagnose me because I'm not his patient. My mom quite obviously has it, too, so I guess it runs in the family.

My major problem right now is getting appointments and phone calls done. There is this constant swirl in my head of all these things I cannot forget to do and I can't keep track of them. I finally made myself write them as I thought of them and the list was two full pages! I'm constantly amazed that I have something I'm required to go to almost every day even as a SAHM. It seems like every appointment brings with it two more that must be scheduled immediately. And usually I panic and schedule at the office even though I don't have my calendar so I don't forget and then go home to find I'm double or triple booked. And then I keep procrastinating on calling to change the time because I'm embarrassed.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Well, considering we're getting more mamas who fit, moving was a good thing!









Hi all you new to us Mamas! This is a support, tell us about yourself/share tips, books, etc/maybe get accountability for getting projects done/commiserate with other mamas who get how your brain works, etc, thread.

I don't recall how I found it because I hardly spend time in Tribes.


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

A book recommendation: It's Hard to Make a Difference When You Can't Find Your Keys by Marilyn Paul.

It's exceptionally good. She doesn't give you tips on how to organize your closet. She leads you through therapy, basically.


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## Polliwog (Oct 29, 2006)

I keep finding tribes that I didn't know existed but are a perfect fit. They need to stop moving tribes out of FYT before I'm completely attached to my computer.

I did a drug study for a neuropsychiatrist two years ago. I was diagnosed with ADHD. I'm 99.99% sure I was taking the placebo since they kept increasing the dosage of "Conserta" with absolutely no change. When the study was over, I started finding the drug that fit me the best. Adderall XR was the best one at the time but I'm thinking Vyvanse might work as well.

I've been off my meds since February since I've been out of work (and uninsured.) I'd probably be able to afford the generic Adderall and just take it twice a day (it's only short acting.) But I haven't had an appointment with a doctor since last summer and need to have an evaluation to continue to get the meds prescribed.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maggirayne* 
Well, considering we're getting more mamas who fit, moving was a good thing!









Hi all you new to us Mamas! This is a support, tell us about yourself/share tips, books, etc/maybe get accountability for getting projects done/commiserate with other mamas who get how your brain works, etc, thread.

I don't recall how I found it because I hardly spend time in Tribes.

I think I begged someone to join my tribe!









Hello, and Welcome, new Mommas! I'm glad you all found us (glad we found you all? oh, never mind. . .) I'm glad for the move, if it means we can have more opinions/experiences to share, it's telling that so many new faces found us just today!









When I looked in the FYT archives, it seemed quite a few ADD/ADHD tribes had started and fizzled, so maybe it wouldn't be the best place for us. I do confess though, that I'd never have thought to look in Parenting, and wouldn't have found us again at all if not for a most helpful (mighty) moderator!









I was actually thinking that we sort of fall into more of a 'twice exceptional' category, since a lot of what we talk about is the irony of being so quick and bright with some things., and so embarrassingly dull with others!

If you have a good idea where we should live, please weigh in, and we'll keep FYT as a default residence!

Me- ? not sure. . .


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## Polliwog (Oct 29, 2006)

I think we should keep hopping from forum to forum. After all, that's how our brains operate.


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## gabysmom617 (Nov 26, 2005)

Personally, I found a diagnosis extremely difficult to get, because I"m not always bouncing off the walls. I'm extremly impulsive, but not very hyper. I am extremely unfocused, daydreamy, and cater to addicting behaviors. (Right now I"m fighting addiction to the internet, to be quite honest.)

My parents had a very backwards philosophy on AD/HD; self diagnosed me when I was in middle school after watching an episode on 60 minutes. But I never saw a proffessional on it until well after I was married.

My mom read books from the library on my ad/hd but, never really applied what she read. They thought they could nag, talk, and discipline me out of AD/HD. They were far from proffessionals on dealing with it, and yet refused to see one.

I thought ad/hd was something i would grow out of.

But I found that I made impulsive life altering decisions that have forever changed my life. I often find myself wondering what life would have been like if I had been treated for ad/hd and wasn't such a failure with poor follow through and such great impulses.

1st, I wouldn't have eloped. I may have finished college and been a bit better off.

I have to force myself to accept life as it is what it is.

I just get resentful when I'm on meds and I see just how much better life is going with handling finances, my follow through, self control, reaching my goals, even being so much more patient with my child and get really resentful because this is the "real me". This is who I _want_ to be in my mind when I'm not on meds and can't be. On meds, I can be who I am in my mind. If I had tapped into that in late teen/early adulthood, I could have warded off some of the life-altering mistakes I deal with today.

I have a hard time getting past it, and yes I still hold a lot of resentment towards my parents. But it's not just this, it's their cavalier "i am the boss" attitudes that show up in other aspects, such as raising my kid. I don't know, I feel like they wanted me to always be dependant on them, or something, I dunno. They thrive off of telling me I'm not doing something right, correcting me, and generally "parenting" me, even though I'm pushing 30 years old. I need this when I'm not medicated, and I resent needing to be pushed along. I don't think they like it when I'm medicated, doing well, and don't need anything from them at all. Their need to "parent" is not fulfilled when I'm medicated, I don't think. It's all very weird.

Anyhow, I'm rambling.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Hey! I know you from the October DDC!









First, welcome, and







We've all more or less BTDT, and I recognize the things you talked about from my own life.

I think you're right, and your parents unfortunately built a lot of their parental identity around 'fixing' you, my mom did, particularly.

You sound a lot like me, I'm the 'innattentive type' which is such an incomplete title, YK? I was never hyper either, and I think it makes it a lot harder to get diagnosed. Being a dreamer looks like laziness to too many people- like my mom.

Dealing with ADD does give us tendencies toward addiction, mine is caffeine, majorly, but it would be so easy to slip away into something else, too.

Welcome to the tribe!


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## KurumiSophia (Nov 28, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
Dealing with ADD does give us tendencies toward addiction, mine is caffeine, majorly, but it would be so easy to slip away into something else, too.

This.

I have major computer addiction issues and I'm taking online classes. (omg)

Anyone else feeling overwhelmed w/school and it's barely started? 'Cause I feel like I need a clone or something. For really.


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## gabysmom617 (Nov 26, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
Hey! I know you from the October DDC!









First, welcome, and







We've all more or less BTDT, and I recognize the things you talked about from my own life.

I think you're right, and your parents unfortunately built a lot of their parental identity around 'fixing' you, my mom did, particularly.

You sound a lot like me, I'm the 'innattentive type' which is such an incomplete title, YK? I was never hyper either, and I think it makes it a lot harder to get diagnosed. Being a dreamer looks like laziness to too many people- like my mom.

Dealing with ADD does give us tendencies toward addiction, mine is caffeine, majorly, but it would be so easy to slip away into something else, too.

Welcome to the tribe!









Thanks!







My body wants caffein SO BAD right now, and I'm not on meds right now (ugh! the horrors!) because of the jumping bean, I don't take either. Occassionally I'll have a bit of caffeinated tea or some chocolate (don't tell my midwife!







: ) and I ALWAYS get a lot accomplished afterwards for a short period of time. Of course the little jumping bean reminds me as well by rearranging my kidneys and telling me that my bladder is getting in his way as well.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *KurumiSophia* 
This.

I have major computer addiction issues and I'm taking online classes. (omg)

Anyone else feeling overwhelmed w/school and it's barely started? 'Cause I feel like I need a clone or something. For really.

Before I found out I was pregnant, I was on Concerta. And I started school online with Penn Foster. Things were going great for a couple of weeks, then I found out I was pregnant, stopped meds, and everything went out the window from there.

I don't think I've ever finished much of anything off of meds. Ever. Not something as major as going to college (dropped out twice) or as minor as an art project. Most of my art projects sit around unfinished.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Oh, yes, I have felt like a clone is necessary, not just usefull, my entire life!

I won't be taking any new classes until January, my pastor/mentor's orders, in order to help me avoid PPD this time around. That hasn't stopped her from continuing my spiritual development all on her own though!








I was doing classes unmedicated, and it required a lot of caffeine.

Speaking of which, My MW just told me caffeine is OK. I mentioned it had started to taste good again, and had been drinking some, and asked her if I needed to cut back before delivery. I'm drinking maybe 2 not huge mugs a day. She said it wasn't necessary, moderation was the key, and reminded me that lots of French women drink a glass of wine every night while PG!

It's just that a cup of coffee makes my brain run straight, at least for a while the fog lifts. . .









I have a few (?) unfinished projects laying around too. . .


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BethNC* 
I think we should keep hopping from forum to forum. After all, that's how our brains operate.



















Quote:


Originally Posted by *KurumiSophia* 
This.

I have major computer addiction issues and I'm taking online classes. (omg)

Anyone else feeling overwhelmed w/school and it's barely started? 'Cause I feel like I need a clone or something. For really.

Anyone else think of where Calvin makes copies of himself and sends them to school in place of himself?









And I'm spacey/daydreamer type(lazy). My mom got upset when I self-diagnosed ADD.







I think she thought it was an excuse. I need someone to help keep me accountable.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

My dad loves calvin and hobbes!


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## KurumiSophia (Nov 28, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
My dad loves calvin and hobbes!

Same w/my DH. We actually pick up the "Franklin Richards, Son a of a Genius" oneshots because they are written in that same style.


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## Pumpkincat (Jul 11, 2008)

Freaky that this thread is here. I attempted to read all 138 messages in the thread before mine, but i just could not do it. I think i made it to 25 or so.

I too have ADHD, it sucks I hate it and it makes me feel like a stupid ass all the time. I also have depression and anxiety. I am unmedicated as I am breastfeeding and have no drug benefit insurance.

I wish I had people in my life who understood me, but i have none. I feel rather lonely, but have most of my life.

I am the classic ADHD girl, i am the bright one who does not meet her potential. In university I had a few professors looking at me as graduate student potential as I am very bright and unique. I never got as far as applying to gradschool because i ended up not being able to keep up with homework. I was as single mom for most of my academic career as well, so that made things even harder.

I really hope to go back to university and fix my mistakes there, but i do not know that will ever happen. That pains be deeply as I am an intellectual person, and not being in an environment with other people like myself is torture to me.

I have learned ways to cope, i wiggle my toes a lot so people do not see my figiting, i use a lot of self talk to bring my thoughts back, i practice mindfulness where i can. I do not really self medicate. I used to with coffee and cigarettes, but i quit smoking and only drink some coffee now. I have been on meds in the past with varying results. I did like ritalin because it was fast acting and did not have to build up to work, but the ritalin burn out was hell, all the agitation and tearfulness, not worth it. I tried wellbutrin, it works rather well for me, but only for a little while. Dexedrine was awful on my body, and pemoline has been recalled. I need therapy for this, by someone more qualified than myself. The thing is, in my community, no one is available to help me. I had a counselor tell me i was brilliant and managed it well by myself, and that there was no one who could teach or help me because i know so much already. I think it is hard to be your own therapist or case manager.

I lose things all the time, i forget what i am doing a lot. I often start things i do not finish. I am not getting anywhere. I am raising 4 children, and have a 5th a few months a year. The kids are inspired by me, but it is very hard for me to keep any of them scheduled or have all their clothes clean, forms signed etc. Needless to say tho, we are very close and there is a lot of love between us.

I am creative however, and my mind is so very hungry. I hyperfocus a lot. It has gotten me in trouble in my relationships. I think this is why people call me a walking encyclopedia, i know a lot of things. It is all because i have an insatiable need to understand.

I have recently started sewing and this is inspiring to me, but it is hard to keep it all organised. I am not too bad at it either







it is a simple joy.

My off topic question is, how in the world do all of you get to have more than one smiley in your signature line? Whenever i try to add CDing, BFing, no circ, all that, i am told i can have only one. How do i fix this? I have a desire to be known, so i would like to put more in my line as well.

Anyway, i guess i was just venting in hopes of being understood, i am so over tired right now, Peace


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## bnhmama (Nov 28, 2006)

I'm ADD, as well. Not medicated.

My therapist and I kinda figured it out when I was being treated for depression. (Meds were difficult for me-I really disliked the side effects.) And then I went off to my regular doc who confirmed the diagnosis but, get this, basically wrote down a couple books for me to read. I don't remember the titles but they were not exactly the kind of books someone with focus issues could read. Ugh. Not helpful at all.

I have really bad memory and an inability to store a lot of information. I have to work HARD not to tune out when people talk to me. I still do sometimes anyhow. I find it very difficult to organize anything-my thoughts, actual stuff, whatever. My house is messy and I'm (at 30 years old) still teaching myself how to tackle tasks by breaking them up into smaller bits and not walking away because I see a mess that is completely overwhelming.

I get very overwhelmed sometimes and need a mental break.

I have also struggled a lot with depression although my stint in therapy did wonders for me. I have an amazing self awareness now that helps so much. I haven't been in therapy for a little over a year and so far, doing okay. If I feel myself slipping, back I'll go.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Hi guys. . . I'm soory I dropped off the radar for a while, it's been taking all of my mental energy just to deal with life right now, and to tell the truth, I feel like giving up.

Before this gets out of hand though, let me say welcome to Pumpkincat and bnhmama! Hello!









bnhmama- I think it's the worst kept secret that meds have huge side effects, and often, just plain old don't work. I think your self awareness will be your best weapon!

Pumpkincat- When you hit member status you can have a few more smileys, and then when you hit senoir member, a few more. Just keep posting, and you'll get there! I really like how you said this-

"I am creative however, and my mind is so very hungry. I hyperfocus a lot. It has gotten me in trouble in my relationships. I think this is why people call me a walking encyclopedia, i know a lot of things. It is all because i have an insatiable need to understand."

I think this represents quite a few of us, here. Don't worry about not having read all the posts, they'll still be there when you have time for them! I think also, the problem with counselling is that noone is really qualified to counsel us except another fellow ADD brain, and we all know where that would go, don't we?









AAM- I'm sorry to do this, but you all are probably the only ones who will understand, and I need to talk about this right now.

I am going to kill my DH. Whe I was PP with DS, I got really wacko, I'm sure I had PPD, because nothing else expleins the images tht would run through my head. So many nights, I sat up in bed while DH snored away, and if I hadn't been holding my nursing newborn, I would have gotten out of bed, and gone down to the kitchen for my big knife, and that would have been it- no more Matt. I knew I would be prone to this sort of thing because of having ADD and the accompanying anxiety to begin with, but I didn't know it would be that bad. We got through it, with the incidental (almost accidental) help of a counsellor.

See, DH is the kind of guy who never does any more than is absolutely necessary. Most of the time, he doesn't even do what's necessary, like pay bills/keep track of the checkbook, or anything. When DS came, I NEEDED him to start pitching in, even if all he did was hold the baby so I could pee. His first reaction to anyone trying to hold him accountable for anything is to get angry. Then he blames it on anything he can. THen he just forgets about it again, because he doesn't want to deal with it. Now I recognize this thought pattern from my own self, but noone ever let me get away with it, so I learned to work around it, take responsibility for my self. Even though someitmes it means saying, 'I crapped out on this, and I can't fix it now, but I'll do differently next time'. So now, Im preggo again, and the baby's due in four weeks! Agh! Due to his pattern of just skating along and never really making an effort, he lost his job teaching, and has had to take the only job he got offered. It's not that it's a bad job, but it pays less than the old one, and we needed for him to get a raise this year. We are at this moment cashing out retirement plans to pay down credit cards so we can just survive. SO until this new job starts he's been working 55 hours at his 'summer' job, so we can pay the mortgage, etc. That's not really a lot of hours, I've worked longer hours over longer time periods.

His attitude is starting to tank again, and he's being rude and sour. I'm starting to feel like I did after Hen was born and I don't even have the new baby yet! I feel like it's a huge accomplishment for me to be able to take care of MYSELF, let alone myself and a child, now soon to be two children. Is it SO much to ask that he take care of himself? I want to shout at him, and tell him, 'come on you idiot, if *I* can take care of ME, If I can cope with what I can cope with on a day to day basis, surely YOU can do this little bit?!'

And then I have to listen to the evil little voice in my head that tells me, "Heidi you're so screwed up, you should never have had children, you should never have saddled this man with your crap in the first place, why do you expect him to take care of you?" And then I think, well, maybe I should leave. That way he wouldn't have to take care of anyone but himself.

Sorry, I'm a real mess this morning.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Oh Heidi, I am so sorry that I didn't post the other day. I have been thinking of you and praying for you and Matt. That sound so stressful. I'd be living in a cardboard box if my DH were like that. Well, maybe, I did pay bills the year I lived alone.

But can you all see a financial counselor, or is there someone else that Matt would be accountable to--to pay bills, do what you need him to, what _he_ needs to do? Esp. if you're overwhelemed with credit cards. Of course, I suppose any suggestions from you are not taken well. Is there anyone in your church or family aware of the situation and able to tak Matt aside and say "hey, fly right"?

I hate feeling depressed and that reel that plays over and over in your head when you're down.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Hey girl,
It's good you didn't respond, because the next day we lost power (the whole street) and my computer will NOT boot up now!







: Just one more thing, YK?

Thanks for the suggestions. . .we have been banging our heads against this wall for such a long time, I'm running out of ideas. But since DH doesn't have such a good relationship with his dad, we had been talking to my dad about it. My dad has agreed to call DH and ask him the tough questions, but it's hard for him because he doesn't want to sour their relationship too. Sighhhh.... Suffice it to say, yes, I suggest, and I nag (which I hate- I am not a natural nag) and I remind, and sometimes I cry and yell, but a day or a week later, he 'forgets' again, and he's back to not doing anything. the sad thing really is that he KNOWS what to do, he just 'doesn't get around to it'. The excuses are so classic, that if I wasn't so paranoid about projecting MY problem onto him, I'd easily beleive that he has ADD too.







:

Thre bottom line is that he's going to have to decide to do this, and then do it. Noone can do it for him anymore. He's just afraid to grow up.

I do try to escaspe that repeating poisonous message in my head, and I do succeed most of the time. I've had a lot of practice, after all.









Feeling better today, MW says BB has dropped, and other indications are pointing to my body getting ready to do it's thing. It's not really any day now, or anything. I'd give anything to have another month after this, so I could feel more ready, although I did get soem big things done this week. I'm nesting full swing, down to preparing meals for the freezer, so I know it's getting close. I'm probably the only preggo woman ever to wish it was closer to eleven months in length- I really could use the extra time.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Eh, I wanted more time to get her 'room' ready. I didn't know I'd not want to quit co-sleeping after a year. Now i'm like, hmm, 4-5, nah, when she's 14! So 'her' room is still full of stuff(all my half-finished projects).

Yeah, well, that sounds like my type of ADD. I have a really hard time with follow-through.
I can totally get how it's hard for your dad to be the 'bad guy'. Is there a close friend who would be better? Can you set up some sort of system, notes or a list or something he can check, so maybe you can direct him to the list? I love trying to brainstorm ideas like this. I had a prof in college who knew I could do, and I had to meet with her weekly. But I was a little scared of her, so I really worked to get stuff done. Oh and she was definitely more of a mentor/supervisor than a friend.









I wish I lived closer and could help you nest and cook! Are you HBing or birth center or hospital?


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## tomuchspade (Sep 11, 2008)

My aunt has been on medical marijuana for years for ADHD and bi polar. But she actually uses the real stuff for as long as I can remember. Long time. No one in the family has issues anymore with her, we just glad to see her calm these days.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tomuchspade* 
My aunt has been on medical marijuana for years for ADHD and bi polar. But she actually uses the real stuff for as long as I can remember. Long time. No one in the family has issues anymore with her, we just glad to see her calm these days.

















I think my family thinks the same about me most times.

Maggirayne- You're right, I can't be scary enough to him for him to take me seriously. I mean, how can you be scared of someone you enjoy so much?







He will just have to DECIDE to do it. bleh, oh well.

On a brighter note, I feel like my world is back in control because my computer is up and running. DH heard from someone at work that the same thing had happened to a whole bunch of people, and they'd called the phone company, and whatever they did fixed the computer! So just as he was about to call, he noticed that the modem was blinking again, and decided to turn it on and see what happened, and viola!

So, there we are. How's everyone else doing?


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## Pumpkincat (Jul 11, 2008)

I am sorry your world is so hard with your husband and your bad self talk. I share some of the same issues *hugs*.

Part of the reason i joined this community is because i really do not have anyone to talk to. Part of the reason for that is because of my own self, bad task management skills and lack of people who are like me around. I dunno, i guess i could right a lot about that one subject if i sat down and analysed it all.

I wanted to ask all you ladies if you have chronic fatigue or any suspected or diagnosed sleep disorders. A specialist diagnosed me with 3 different ones, none of which i am receiving treatment for. There are reasons for that tho, one is that i do not want to take any drugs while nursing or otherwise at this time, the other is that my CPAP (sleep apnea machine) is not calibrated correctly and I keep forgetting to deal with that, the other is that i am far too busy to see a therapist. I have zero babysitters and my baby will not take a bottle yet.

It is hard enough having ADHD combined type, on top of a sleep disorder and always being tired, i am not accomplising all i wish to, or need to being a mother of many.

It really is amazing how in the world i pull it all off. The kids are all pretty well adjusted, but all are disorganised.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Aw, Pumpkincat, wow. I wish I could help watch baby while you got the CPAP adjusted. I can't imagine having sleep problems on top of nightnursing and ADD.

I'm praying for you!


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## Pumpkincat (Jul 11, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maggirayne* 
Aw, Pumpkincat, wow. I wish I could help watch baby while you got the CPAP adjusted. I can't imagine having sleep problems on top of nightnursing and ADD.

I'm praying for you!


Thank you, I need all the help i can get, but rarely do i ever ask for it in my daily life.

I have to work on my son taking a bottle, so at least his dad could care for him while i go somewhere. Also he is cloth diapered and I am not optimistic that anyone would want to deal with that. I do not know one person besides myself who does not use disposables.

It really is amazing how many issues a person can have, how much the social climate around them can teach them how to think.

One of the reasons i do not typically ask for help is because i have an extrememly impatient father who himself has ADHD (untreated) and who drinks as a medication. Much of my childhood and adult years he has down right raged at me for asking for help, belittled me, always made me feel like a burden. I am guessing that it is because he felt overwhelmed. So i guess it is back there in my head that if i ask for help, i am worthless. Sometimes i break out of that and just ask, often the person i am asking cannot help, sometimes they can.

I wish there was someone who could help me clean and organise my house. There is so much to do here. That makes me feel guilty. I remember this one time a very compassionate friend came and helped me. I was SOOOOO embarrassed when she seen the **** behind the faucet. I really almost broke down in tears and she seen that. She gave me a sympathetic look and cleaned it. I moved from that neighbourhood, so we do not talk anymore.

I have been very misunderstood in my life. That really causes my self esteem to plummet. Because i have a sleep disorder and ADHD, I would very often be late for class, fall asleep in class and have all my belongings in disarray. I actually got kicked out of 2 educational programs because they thought i was using drugs or alcohol! I was so upset, what an injustice! An ironic thing about that is that the coordinator of the programs has a son who has ADHD herself! I explained to her what was wrong, she did not listen to me.

I have it in my mind to start looking to see if there are any new, non-drug, programs that can help me. I am not optimistic about that being that our community is rather secluded from any major center. We basically are the major center. I usually have to do all that myself.


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## Pumpkincat (Jul 11, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Pumpkincat* 

I wanted to ask all you ladies if you have chronic fatigue or any suspected or diagnosed sleep disorders. A specialist diagnosed me with 3 different ones, none of which i am receiving treatment for. There are reasons for that tho, one is that i do not want to take any drugs while nursing or otherwise at this time, the other is that my CPAP (sleep apnea machine) is not calibrated correctly and I keep forgetting to deal with that, the other is that i am far too busy to see a therapist. I have zero babysitters and my baby will not take a bottle yet.

It is hard enough having ADHD combined type, on top of a sleep disorder and always being tired, i am not accomplising all i wish to, or need to being a mother of many.

It really is amazing how in the world i pull it all off. The kids are all pretty well adjusted, but all are disorganised.

please have a happy day







:


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## Pumpkincat (Jul 11, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tomuchspade* 
My aunt has been on medical marijuana for years for ADHD and bi polar. But she actually uses the real stuff for as long as I can remember. Long time. No one in the family has issues anymore with her, we just glad to see her calm these days.









I have heard of people using this for various things. My question is ``is she able to be productive while using it?`` I hear you saying she has calmed down, and that must be such a relief in itself. I myself have a sister who makes problems for everyone because of her own mismanagment of her mental health. In fact, we hardly have a relationship now because i do not want any crap around my children. I miss her dearly.

I wonder if the pot works to alleviate symptoms or does it just make one high so they are perpetually in their happy place and too stoned to make problems for others any longer.

I am very curious.


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## Pookietooth (Jul 1, 2002)

Oh, yeah, I have it, and it makes being a homemaker/mom horrible.


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## sonrisaa29 (Feb 3, 2007)

I used to smoke pot in college and for me it made my ADD 1000x times worse. If I wanted to self medicate I'd use caffeine which works for short periods of time. The only way that I can function through my day at home and work and actually get things done is taking my meds. I take dexedrine and I find its the only one that works for me.

It actually helps remove that fog, and gives me the patience to deal with people.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

sonrisa- What is dexedrine? Isn't that a stimulant/weightloss drug? Any scary side effects?

Pumpkincat- I wanted to say that I think ADD/ADHD *causes* sleep problems, or maybe they go together. I'm one of those girls who could sleep 10+ hours each night, and still wake up feeling like I never slept at all. I KNOW lack of sleep increases my symptoms by an order of magnitude, and the emotional symptoms are particularly affected. (can anybody remember which effect/affect to use and when?)

I think one of the reasons valerian root works so well for me in helping to control my ADD, is because I take it at night and it works in a specific way in the brain during sleep. According to the book 'Healing Anxiety With Herbs' it helps increase dopamine production in the brain at night. THis helps stabilise serotonin production in the brain during the day the next day.

I had actually started taking it for muscle spasms, but I noticed that when I took it, I woke up feeling like I'd actually had some restful sleep. I've been taking it for almost 10 years, and the effect (affect?) has not diminished. In fact, I don't even have to take it all the time, If I forget or skip a few, it takes almost a week for me to notice a difference. A very good thing for people who have problems remembering to take pills!









AAM-Sorry I dissappeared for a few days, it's taken all of my energy/concentration to try to focus on getting the house ready for the BB. We've actually made some progress, and DH is getting comfy in his new job. A happy Husband is a blessing, and a real help when I'm running six different directions trying to accomplish things.

Here's a typical/funny from Friday-

My new friend Amy, who is a Mary Kay lady came to my house Friday to do a facial on my mom (who'd come over that day to help me can tomatos- how do I get myself into these situations?) and offer her some product in exchange for something I couldn't use. I'd gotten some makeup that my skin couldn't deal with and needed to return it.

Well, of course, I only have one bathroom, and you have to walk through the entire house (not kidding) to get to it. So when she gets here, I'm thinking, oh, I hope noone needs to use the restroom today. She ended up staying a while, because we were all having fun talking. and she and my mom had a good time. Oh, and we had coffee.

She mentioned at one point- she knows I have ADD, and some of how it affects me, although I can't remember how the subject came up- that she was sorried about her middle son, and how he was handling school. He's very bright, can't follow 5 directions at one time, (who really CAN- I'd like to know?) seems to 'wander off' in the middle of lessons, can't relate to the other kids. . . .etc. I'm thinking, hmmmm....sounds very familiar. . .

I asked her a few questions, and we got to talking, and my mom joins in, talking about how I was when I was young, and she borrows my copy of 'The Gift of ADHD'. I told her, I'm not saying he has it, and six is pretty young to know sometimes, but if things in the book start ringing bells, maybe you'll have more info to base a decision about getting him tested.

Then comes the words I've been dreading all morning. . ."Heidi, may I use your restroom?"







: AARRGGHHHHHHH! I just laughed, because what else can you do at that point? I told her I'd guide her through the minefield, but keep in mind that the state of my house reflects the state of my brain, and she laughed too.

Earlier she'd told me that she appreciates me for who I am, and that she hopes I didn't feel too bombarded by her being there. She really is just a sweet soul, and I wish there were more people like her in the world.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Eh, I know what you mean! actually tho' until recently, the bathroom is usually neate since clothes don't collect in there. but I started putting wet diapers in the tub instead of the laundry room floor since we're changing diapers in there. I should get a plastic trashcan with a lid. They need stripping, too, are starting to really stink.

My table is messy right now, and of course what you see right away when you come in.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

The actual bathroom wasn';t that bad, it was the two disadter areas we ahad to walk through to get to the bathroom!









But it's not all my fault, DH doesn't put ANYTHING away, at all! I told him last night, that the next diaperwrap I find laying around with a wet cloth diaper festering inside, would be placed inside his pillowcase!







: Surprisingly enough, he didn't get angry, he just walked around gathering up all the wraps he'd left laying around, and took them down to the diaper pail!







:


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

at your threat! Yay that he picked up!

My Dh is awesome, will wipe off a PF, we don't have a sprayer, just use TP to clean messy dipes.

ETA: How are you doing? You're getting close!


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Yeah, I just had a MW appt yesterday, and both the nurse, and the Mw said, "Oh, you're ready to have a baby!" (um, yes?!)







I'm not too uncomfortable, really, which is good, there's just a lot of cleaning yet to be done, and I'd really like to my HOUSE to at least APPEAR to be under control, so I can walk through a room W/O having a panic attack!

I hope to get some cooking/freezing done today! I'm excited about that!

DH is great with poopy cloth diapers, actually, he dips them in the toilet and everything. It's just the 'only wet' ones that get forgotten!








And now I've designated the utility tub in the basement (next to washer) for rinsing diapers after we shake off poop, anyway. So it's a bit less gross to take care of them. I'd give my left arm for a diaper sprayer!

I was trying to explain to my mom yesterday, how it's a challenge to deal with the extreme (for us) change in DH's hours. It's not working to just have DS nap later/longer, he's still hysterical by 7:30 pm, and should be on his way to bed. So I'm going to have to draw up a schedule, to try to re-organize our day so we don't have three (soon 4) people all melting down as soon as DH gets home. Of course, she's like, "Oh, just do, this, and then this. . " ANd I'm getting anxious just listening to her.

The necessity of acknowledging the strain (for my own mental health) and yet still requiring myself to overcome the circumstances (so we can all function) is overwhelming.

On a good note, I got 'relieved from responsibilities' at church until I'm ready after the baby comes!







: P Sue said, "We decided you were under enough stress already."







Took 'em long enough to figure that one out.


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## Pumpkincat (Jul 11, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 

DH is great with poopy cloth diapers, actually, he dips them in the toilet and everything. It's just the 'only wet' ones that get forgotten!








And now I've designated the utility tub in the basement (next to washer) for rinsing diapers after we shake off poop, anyway. So it's a bit less gross to take care of them. I'd give my left arm for a diaper sprayer!

The necessity of acknowledging the strain (for my own mental health) and yet still requiring myself to overcome the circumstances (so we can all function) is overwhelming.

On a good note, I got 'relieved from responsibilities' at church until I'm ready after the baby comes!







: P Sue said, "We decided you were under enough stress already."







Took 'em long enough to figure that one out.


I am happy for you that you have supportive people at your church to help you. I know what it is like to need help and not get it. It is important for you to be able to have calmness while the baby is coming. Congrats on that BTW! Babies are so wonderful!

My church is not supportive so much. It is a large church with many programs, i think they toot their own horn a lot. I was a single mom for a long time (it has been only 1 1/2 yrs since i have been married, and we have many problems, a whole other topic i know) and there was a few times i was going through absolute crisis and I desperately needed help, i asked for it and nothing. They said there was no one available to help me! Can you believe that?! Meanwhile thousands of church dollars are used to send the pastoral staff on exotic missonary crusades. We still go there because our kids like the children's program. I really have to stop talking about that right there because I am starting to rant. There is a lot i could say about this, but I digress.

We recently got a diaper sprayer, it is so awesome! I HATE dunking! It was easy and it was cheap. My husband went to re-store (a store run by habitate for humanity) and bought a second hand kitchen sink sprayer for $2.00. Then he went to Canadian tire and bought this valve that splits the water line on the back of the toilet. He turned off the water, attached the line for the toilet and the sprayer, turned the water back on and it works incredibly! I think it cost a grand total of under $10! Maybe you can do that too. I am so happy we have one, it makes clean up so much easier!

Good luck with everything, i hope your day is peaceful.


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## samanthamommaof3 (Sep 9, 2008)

so i was diagnosed with adhd as a kid ( really i think my symptoms were induced by a neglectful and horrid homelife.... but w/e) but my mother has severe add.... and now that i'm reading some of your posts i think that i may have been misdiagnosed? i have a TERRIBLE time multitasking... or actually i can multitask but none of my tasks EVER get completed.... and i have a hard time feeling motivated. if i drink caffiene i can GO GO GO and be fine and finish all my odd jobs in a day... but otherwise its like all of a sudden the day is gone and i've not done the dishes or not done the laundry and not done the yardwork etc.... and i'm like wth did i do all day? i mean i spend my days with my kids... but i feel so inadequet because my hubby comes home and is like um.... why are you jus sitting there with the kids/ playing online/ this or that... should i ask my doc about this? and if you do have add can you cope no meds?


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Hi Samanthamama!








Welcome to our gloriously goofy tribe!

Many of us function without drugs. Some of us use a med to control things, some of us can't, some tried them and couldn't use them, but what we all have is common is that despite good days, and bad days, we find ways to cope, and even enjoy/appreciate ourselves.

If you scan the thread, you'll see references to self medicating, prescriptions, etc. I don't know if this'll make you feel better or not, but here's what I accomplished today:

-I napped
-I gave my toes one coat of polish while DS napped
-I made lunch (go me)
-I threw a load of training pants in the wash at 7:30 am. . . they're still there.
-Oh, I did sort some nursing/fall clothes.

I wanted to get so much more done, but I didn't. I totally know what you mean about the whole, 'where did my day go?' thing.









Pumpkincat- you're allowed a minirant now and then!







Unfortunately that happens so often in big churches, I know a woman who had the exact same thing happen to her. She had a baby at age 18, she was alone, no help, and when her mom asked the church if someone could at least deliver a meal for them, she was told, "Noone does that right now"







My church is tiny by a lot of standards, but when someone needs help, everyone pitches in.

Unfortunately, this one experience with my mentor at church is the absolute best to have happened in some time. As far as she and the requirements she's placed on me are concerned, it's been horrendous.







My own mother, who is a pastor, is disgusted by it. what do you do, YK?

That diaper sprayer sounds incredibly easy. Nana and Popop are comeing next week, so I may just buy the parts, and have Popop install it! DH is not exactly handy, really. That's my department.









And thanks for the congrats, I've been ridiculously healthy this whole PG, even with all the stress over DH's job.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Maggirayne- I just realised I never answered one of your questions! (see the advantages of having a conversation in writing!).

I'll be birthing at a birth center, this time, last time was in a hospital, but I achieved my goal of an unmedicated birth. I am REALLY excited about this one!

I was just thinking, pregnancy and birth being such out of control events, you'd think they'd stress me out more than they do. Maybe it's easier to accept because it IS inherantly uncontrollable?

Where have you all birthed, and how has it effected your deliveries?

And who else has HUGE issues Post partum?


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## StillForest (Nov 27, 2001)

So glad to see this thread. I'm unfortunately at work and need to get back to it but want to sub so that I can FIND this thread again (!!) and come back to join your tribe. I have diagnosed ADD and need to make time for another round of finding new strategies. I became the major breadwinner for our family last year and working full-time while parenting two children and trying to keep house (not to mention trying to have a life of my own) just isn't working. I feel like I'm leaking all over---forgetting & losing things, behind on crucial projects at work, losing touch with all of my friends etc etc..... I need to move beyond my shame to re-assess and find some new strategies or interventions of some sort.

Nice to see you all here. I'll be back....

StillForest


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## samanthamommaof3 (Sep 9, 2008)

today i actually got a few things done. a few loads of laundry that are now sitting on the bed half folded and not put up lmbo.... also i washed several dishes and then left the rest in the sink so i could go and seperate whites from colors in my daughters laundry basket... wich is seperated and not washed lmbo.... i suppose i'm not the only wierd one on the planet.... makes you think maybe we arent so wierd after all.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
Hi Samanthamama!







Welcome to our gloriously goofy tribe!

Many of us function without drugs. Some of us use a med to control things, some of us can't, some tried them and couldn't use them, but what we all have is common is that despite good days, and bad days, we find ways to cope, and even enjoy/appreciate ourselves.

If you scan the thread, you'll see references to self medicating, prescriptions, etc. I don't know if this'll make you feel better or not, but here's what I accomplished today:

-I napped
-I gave my toes one coat of polish while DS napped
-I made lunch (go me)
-I threw a load of training pants in the wash at 7:30 am. . . they're still there.
-Oh, I did sort some nursing/fall clothes.

I wanted to get so much more done, but I didn't. I totally know what you mean about the whole, 'where did my day go?' thing.









Pumpkincat- you're allowed a minirant now and then!







Unfortunately that happens so often in big churches, I know a woman who had the exact same thing happen to her. She had a baby at age 18, she was alone, no help, and when her mom asked the church if someone could at least deliver a meal for them, she was told, "Noone does that right now"







My church is tiny by a lot of standards, but when someone needs help, everyone pitches in.

Unfortunately, this one experience with my mentor at church is the absolute best to have happened in some time. As far as she and the requirements she's placed on me are concerned, it's been horrendous.







My own mother, who is a pastor, is disgusted by it. what do you do, YK?

That diaper sprayer sounds incredibly easy. Nana and Popop are comeing next week, so I may just buy the parts, and have Popop install it! DH is not exactly handy, really. That's my department.









And thanks for the congrats, I've been ridiculously healthy this whole PG, even with all the stress over DH's job.


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## livsmom (Jul 16, 2008)

YES! ME! I have ADHD too! I was just officially diagnosed a few weeks ago (I am 25) and I really hope the psychologist is right...I am not the typical disorganized, forgetful type--I am on the opposite extreme with borderline ocd tendencies. The doc seems to think I need my physical world in order to compensate for the mental/emotional disarray and I can see his point. He has me trying Vyvanse--an amphetimine wrapped in protein to make the ramp-up and come-down more tolerable--but I feel like it is increasing my anxiety and compulsiveness, which is the reason I entered therapy in the first place. I feel like it is preventing me from enjoying, relaxing, and playing with my dd. Note: I only agreed to medication since I am no longer bfing. My breast milk dried up very prematurely (dd was only 5 months old when it started disappearing and I was never able to regain a full supply.







) So I am so glad to have found this tribe...I will tell you all more about my crazy head soon and read more of your fabulous posts, but it's time to leave work for the day.

BTW, heidirk, I had a med-free waterbirth at a free-standing birth center and it was the most amazing experience of my life. I've never felt more empowered as a woman and it really made me feel ready and capable of being a mother in a profound way that endless research could not--I'm almost jealous of all the pregnant women out there right now, because of how amazing I found birth to be!

So grateful to have found you all!







:


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *StillForest* 
So glad to see this thread. I'm unfortunately at work and need to get back to it but want to sub so that I can FIND this thread again (!!) and come back to join your tribe. I have diagnosed ADD and need to make time for another round of finding new strategies. I became the major breadwinner for our family last year and working full-time while parenting two children and trying to keep house (not to mention trying to have a life of my own) just isn't working. I feel like I'm leaking all over---forgetting & losing things, behind on crucial projects at work, losing touch with all of my friends etc etc..... I need to move beyond my shame to re-assess and find some new strategies or interventions of some sort.

Nice to see you all here. I'll be back....

StillForest

Wow, do you have your plate full or what!? When I have too much going on, that's when I can't maintain the illusion of pulledtogetherness either. I just start dropping the ball left and right. SLOW DOWN! Decide what's absolutely important, and stick to that.







to you mamma, we've all been there.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *samanthamommaof3* 
today i actually got a few things done. a few loads of laundry that are now sitting on the bed half folded and not put up lmbo.... also i washed several dishes and then left the rest in the sink so i could go and seperate whites from colors in my daughters laundry basket... wich is seperated and not washed lmbo.... i suppose i'm not the only wierd one on the planet.... makes you think maybe we arent so wierd after all.

Oh, yes, the forgotten laundry saga! Did I ever tell you about the time we went away for the weekend, and I forgot the diaper pail was full?







: Hmmm. . . . I had never seen that exact shade of mold before! uke

Yeah, I think there are plenty of us out there! We just don't fit into this society's expectations very well. . .







:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *livsmom* 
YES! ME! I have ADHD too! I was just officially diagnosed a few weeks ago (I am 25) and I really hope the psychologist is right...I am not the typical disorganized, forgetful type--I am on the opposite extreme with borderline ocd tendencies. The doc seems to think I need my physical world in order to compensate for the mental/emotional disarray and I can see his point. He has me trying Vyvanse--an amphetimine wrapped in protein to make the ramp-up and come-down more tolerable--but I feel like it is increasing my anxiety and compulsiveness, which is the reason I entered therapy in the first place. I feel like it is preventing me from enjoying, relaxing, and playing with my dd. Note: I only agreed to medication since I am no longer bfing. My breast milk dried up very prematurely (dd was only 5 months old when it started disappearing and I was never able to regain a full supply.







) So I am so glad to have found this tribe...I will tell you all more about my crazy head soon and read more of your fabulous posts, but it's time to leave work for the day.

BTW, heidirk, I had a med-free waterbirth at a free-standing birth center and it was the most amazing experience of my life. I've never felt more empowered as a woman and it really made me feel ready and capable of being a mother in a profound way that endless research could not--I'm almost jealous of all the pregnant women out there right now, because of how amazing I found birth to be!

So grateful to have found you all!







:

Hello Livsmom! Welcome! I am so sad that your BF'ing relationship ended before you and your baby were ready. That happened for my friend, and I know how she greived. . .









It might interest you to know that a lot of adults with ADD or ADHD get misdiagnosed as bipolar or OCD. We often show symptoms of both. Especially when we are overcompensating for our perceived failures!

I think being a momma was what finally convinced me that I couldn't maintain that level of control over my life, not even in my head. Facing that, I'm sure contributed to my PPD with DS.

I'm glad your birth experience was so empowering for you. Tell that story as much as you can, women need to hear what birth can be!


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Bump!









How is everyone doing?

This is me today. . . .


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## ~Boudicca~ (Sep 7, 2005)

Bleh.

You know, I was doing really great keeping on top of things last month and actually managed to carve away a little time for myself each day to do creative stuff. Now I seem to have gotten behind again. UGH.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

girly, BTDT. . .


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## livsmom (Jul 16, 2008)

Hi Everyone! Sorry...I meant to post again sooner, but you know...I got distracted, of course!








I was wondering if any of you feel like you are attracted to chaos? I am starting to believe that, perhaps, DP has ADHD too--and I am constantly running around our house picking up after him! We both work full time and his job is a little more demanding so I take on most of the domestic tasks as well--like bill paying, meal planning, finding daycare, etc... (A lot of the paperwork things I can actually do while I'm at work.) The thing is that we actually work at the same place and work the exact same hours, but I am still expected to manage home life. It takes me SO long to do all of these things by myself, and sometimes, DP even criticizes me for not doing things well enough or for not including him in the decision-making process! I've told him that if he helped more he would be able to have more input on decisions, but he's not really interested in that. I have (am) seriously considering moving out for a while (with DD) because of how stressed our situation is. Our entire relationship has been especially tense, because I got pregnant after we had been _dating_ for about a week and we moved in together just 4 months later. I feel like this is how most of my life goes--constantly reacting to some type of crisis. Either I'm just used to it or I actually create it because for some weird reason I am attracted to chaos. Does this resonate with anyone else? Thanks so much for creating a space to let me vent!


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## samanthamommaof3 (Sep 9, 2008)

heidirk said:


> Wow, do you have your plate full or what!? When I have too much going on, that's when I can't maintain the illusion of pulledtogetherness either. I just start dropping the ball left and right. SLOW DOWN! Decide what's absolutely important, and stick to that.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## kayleesmom (Dec 16, 2004)

i have had adhd since age 5. unmedicated now and i have a shorter attention span with things than my 4 yr old.

we should start a tribe


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Hehe, this is the ADD/ADHD Tribe. We were in tribes and got moved, here, which has been good because more mamas have found us.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

I think it's good for us to be here too. The more the merrier!







:

Hi to all newbies!

Livsmom- I've always said that chaos is attracted to ME. Kind of a modified Murphy's law, YK? "Anything that can happen, WILL, when I'm there!"









Maybe it's just that we're always doing so many things at one time!


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Heidi, how are you doing? I'm thinking of you!


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Thanks, I'm thinking about all of you too! I'm at home on Rest. Not necessarily don't-get-out-of-bed-rest, but more of a stay-on-the-couch-if-you-can sort of rest. DH stayed home Friday night, Saturday, and today, and we all stayed home from church.

My BP is up when I'm up and down when I'm down.







Which reminds me, I need to call and check in with my MW!

MIL and FIL are comeing to take DS for the day tomorrow, and I have an appointment, too. Otherwise, baby's still hanging in there! Feeling good actually, resting seems to agree with me!


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## gabysmom617 (Nov 26, 2005)

I've lost my marbles.

Can some one please tell me that I'm not the only one who gets her brains cells sucked out of her in the last days of pregnancy?

Ok, so most people do this maybe...hence the joke that goes around...

but I seem to be doing it to the nth degree. I am SO absent minded, SO forgetful, and completely and incontrolably can't pay attention to details. My posts have become horrid as I edit and edit and edit for little careless mistakes and errors that change the whole meaning of my post.

It's getting ridiculous. I want my brain back.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

No, you're not the only one. I lost my brain about oh. . . 9 months ago!









Hang in there, we don't have too much longer to wait!


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## gabysmom617 (Nov 26, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 







No, you're not the only one. I lost my brain about oh. . . 9 months ago!









Hang in there, we don't have too much longer to wait!


So your, ad/hdishness got worse with pregnancy too? Ok, at least I'm not alone.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Oh, my goodness, yes! And the first time it caused me a real emotional crisis, because I had things under control before that, and suddenly it was, I'm-sticking-milk-in-the-pantry-and-salting-my-coffee kind of a deal. I locked myself out of my house no less than three times while preggo with DS. Can you imagine an 8 mos peggo woman up on a ladder prying open the screen on her kitchen window? I split my pants crawling in, too!

At least this time, I knew it was comeing!


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## gabysmom617 (Nov 26, 2005)

Yeah, I can imagine, being that I was 6 month pregnant lady climbing up on a picnic cooler trying to get into a window while my 3yo stood outside and watched in amusement, when the cooler fell away, and my legs got stuck/hooked in the window, and scraped my legs all the way down, almost fell and broke my neck, had to make efforts to fall so that I wouldn't fall on my big swole stomach. I can definitely imagine. Sigh. I had to leave and go to my husband's job and bring him back to get into the window for me. He told one of his older (elderly?) coworkers what I had done, and she like to had a fit on me. Fussed me out. She was right.

Yeah, in retrospect, this did seem to start quite some time ago.

I lost my wallet. Have no idea where that is at this point. Lost my brand new prepay credit card my husband got for me, with the roses on it.

Some things are on autopilot now. Like, it physically doesn't feel right to me to lock the door going out unless my keys are in my hand at the same time.

Other things just flew into the wind.

But typing is so weird these last few days. I keep leaving out whole words and whole phrases in my sentences. I usually love writing in message boards. But I feel like such a dunce, it's not working.

Also, when people are trying to explain something complex to me, I am nearly incapable of comprehending. I forget what I was talking about a lot, and when I do say something, my brain skips a beat or something and I miss say a lot of my words or leave entire phrases or thoughts out of what I was trying to say.

It's so hard to explain. I'm stuck in my head and need a nap. Sigh.


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## PrennaMama (Oct 10, 2005)

Hi!









This thread has tested my ADHD... I didn't make it through the whole thing, but I WILL. Just wanted to post and get in on the talking, right away!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
Hooray!









I find having ADD helpful in caring for kids. I remember vividly how being a kid was, so it's easy for me to look at him and say, OK...He's upset about X let's try THIS.

I also found a neat book, The Gift of ADHD. I recommend reading that while you still have brain cells left!

I'm looking into that book... I find my ADHD to be like a massive engine that propels me through my hectic schedule at break-neck speeds that would crush the average human will.

I semi-jokingly refer to my ADHD as my super-power.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *636Jen* 
<snip>
She could be very thankful that it's just not "HER" it's a chemical imbalance that is treatable. She could just be relieved. I know my oldest was!








<snip>









The feeling that accompanied my diagnosis of ADHD 15 years ago (when I was about 18) is the same feeling that accompanied being diagnosed with asthma 7 years before that: "Oh, ok... well it explains a LOT, and I'm relieved. BUT, there is a certain view of people with this diagnosis, and that bugs me..."

I still feel the same way about _both_ diagnoses.

Do any of you think about your diagnosis as you would a diagnosis of any other imbalance or ailment? So may folks still perceive ADHD as a defect... a defficiency (Attention Defficit), that it seems difficult for some to bridge the gap between imbalance and imperfection.

I'm for redefining ADHD as a 'divergent mind-set'... or even as a different _skill-set_.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
Hi there! In the interest of limiting FYT to subjects not hosted elsewhere on the board, we have moved your tribe here. You're still a tribe, which means you're still support-only. If you have any questions about the move, please do not discuss it on the boards. Rather, contact an administrator or start a thread in Questions and Suggestions. Thanks, and happy posting!

SO glad you all moved over here...

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maggirayne* 
<snip> We were in tribes and got moved, here, which has been good because more mamas have found us.









.......And, had you not moved, I would NOT have found you, as I just don't go into the Tribes area much... never been much of a joiner, kwim?

I was pretty surprised when I saw this thread... I love this feeling, of having found my people... I have experienced it in a couple other threads, but it's a rarity, even here on MDC.

So.........
At the risk of getting long-winded (and I do get long-winded), I am anxious to share with you all, and look forward to your insights...

I have a pediatrician FIL who is a self-made, self-proclaimed expert on ADHD. He attends seminar after seminar, conference after conference; writes and speaks publicly on the topic extensively, (FIL has comented that experts in the field no longer differentiate between ADD and ADHD, and that ADHD is the preferred term, ADD being basically discarded by those in the profession... take that as you like) and has (in some ways) inspired me to follow my childhood dream (with a bit of amending) of being a pediatrician. I, too, am currently in school (in addition to the multitude of things I'm involved in), and pursuing a doctorate in pediatric clinical/developmental psychology. (Tho, I might go for IandO instead, more money!







) Dh jokes that my primary motivation for following this path is to take FIL to school...









Dh has ADHD as well... we have heard every joking reference to or inquiry regarding how life must be at our house with muted annoyance and some humor... but it gets old. I had to rein FIL in a bit around dd's 6th month, as he was pretty continuously referring to her as "double-gene-loaded," and _openly_ anticipating the imminent diagnosis of ADHD.

Dh and I illustrate 2 ends on a continuum... Both of us with the ADHD diagnosis; he was medicated (aggressively, and by his own father...) for much of his childhood and adolescence, while my mother yanked me from a therapist (I was 16) that pointed her in the direction of medicating me with Ritalin before a diagnosis had ever been given, or treatment options. I pursued a behavioral path in my own treatment around 18, which is when I was diagnosed, and have used conscious behavioral modification as a means to manage my ADHD symptoms ever since, with mostly success, and some rough patches. Dh was medicated and we both _self-medicated_, illegally, when we got together. Then, while I was pregnant, there was no medicating of _any_ kind, for me, and dh chose to go off his meds, citing the aggression he felt while medicated as a primary reason to be off them. His family was not pleased, and has made issue of his "unmedicated ADHD" ever since, specifically his dad.

Recently, dh and I hit rough patch. It was becoming more and more apparent to me that dh was suffering severe depression and anxiety, and he was loathe to get any help (having been theraputically burned by one's dad could do that I think) _but_ we had reached critical mass. So he went to FIL and StepMIL to see if they might have colleagues to recommend (as they are both in the field). They did, he went, it was great. He's on Celexa (sp?) and quite proud of that... he tells everyone. "How you doing these days?" they ask... (for example his big sister); his reply: "GREAT! I'm on Celexa! And stuff that used to send me over the top just kind of bounces off, now... and I stopped hating myself!" He's had such a turn-around... It's like the man I married is back.

When asking after dh's "wellness" FIL and StepMIL constantly ask "So, what are you doing about the ADHD?" "When are you planning to treat the ADHD?" "What's his plan for the ADHD piece?"







REALLY???? _Seriously???_ He's _happy!!!_







He's GOOD. He might not _ever_ do anything about the ADHD piece!! It just makes my head wanna









And now, dh is doing the same crap to me...

I was a SAHM until 20 months ago when I went to school. I held down a small direct sales consultant biz, during that time, and was very active in our community.

I am in school full-time, with 16 credits this term, 3 classes, 4 days a week. (Psy202, Math243, and Speech) I work as a part-time home-blesser/house-cleaner for MDC moms in my area, 3 days a week. (SIL thinks I should name my biz "Play-Date Cleaning Service" because generally, dd comes along, and has a play-date while I clean.) I volunteer at dd's pre-school 1 day a week, teach-assist at Baha'i school on Sundays, volunteer for dd's ballet/tap school performances, and work in women's mentoring, guided meditation, Virtues Parenting, and spiritual consultation. Sometimes, especially the first few weeks of school, I get a little addle-brained and forget things, lock the keys in the car, etc... Dh has been on me, recently, saying he thinks I need to medicate (with totally awesome side-notes about how ADHD meds will "help with your weight, too"). I am trying to be understanding that he has found renewed faith in the mental-health industry and medication; that he just wants to share that with me, is enthusiastic about it (like a born-again). But, suddenly, I find myself in doubt... _should_ I medicate? Is there something wrong? And I feel like that adolescent girl again, suddenly unsure of my identity, tho I've felt such strong convictions regarding how I manage my ADHD for so long; wondering if I'm missing out on maximizing my potential via medication, or robbing dd of a more "together" mama........

I mean, I _feel_ pretty together (if fact FIL once tried to tell me that he didn't believe I had ADHD... he wanted to know who diagnosed me, what were her credentials, etc...







). But I _do_ forget things. The other day I had forgotten to grab dd's packed and ready lunch off the counter as we dashed out the door to school (she comes to my school and is in the on-site day-care, and they do sack lunch there). As we got out of the car I said "Whoops! I forgot your lunch! I guess I'll have to bring you one at lunch time." She says, "Mama, you've gotta stop being so _forgetful_!"

Can't I just have a bad day?? I mean 'normal' people have them, too!

Thoughts? On any of it...?

I'm very excited about this thread... I feel as tho I have found a treasure trove, and I look forward to conversations...

(now... back to reading this thread)


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## PrennaMama (Oct 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gabysmom617* 
So your, ad/hdishness got worse with pregnancy too? Ok, at least I'm not alone.









So... I've seen data to suggest that the hormones washing over an ADHD woman's brain while pregnant mimic the effects of ADHD meds, and that's what I exerienced... it was _after_ I delivered dd that the ADHD reared its head so thoroughly, again.


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## mamabohl (May 21, 2005)

Hi all! I think I belong over here. I am pretty sure I have ADD, but I've never deen diagnosed. I don't have time right now, but I'll try to come back and write a real intro today or tomorrow. Just wanted to pop in and sub.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *samanthamommaof3* 
<snip>i have a TERRIBLE time multitasking... or actually i can multitask but none of my tasks EVER get completed.... and i have a hard time feeling motivated. if i drink caffiene i can GO GO GO and be fine and finish all my odd jobs in a day... but otherwise its like all of a sudden the day is gone and i've not done the dishes or not done the laundry and not done the yardwork etc.... and i'm like wth did i do all day? i mean i spend my days with my kids... but i feel so inadequet because my hubby comes home and is like um.... why are you jus sitting there with the kids/ playing online/ this or that... should i ask my doc about this? and if you do have add can you cope no meds?

I hate getting up and doing stuff, it's much easier to sit and do nothing. I can get stuff done when I have someone to talk to, so it's nice to call someone on the phone.
But when you are changing diapers, that takes a lot of time, gee! I get more done at lunch when DH is home and occupying DD or helping than all day, most days. I guess I'm a 'social' worker.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
Maggirayne- I just realised I never answered one of your questions! (see the advantages of having a conversation in writing!).

I'll be birthing at a birth center, this time, last time was in a hospital, but I achieved my goal of an unmedicated birth. I am REALLY excited about this one!

I was just thinking, pregnancy and birth being such out of control events, you'd think they'd stress me out more than they do. Maybe it's easier to accept because it IS inherantly uncontrollable?

Where have you all birthed, and how has it effected your deliveries?

And who else has HUGE issues Post partum?

Heh, I never answered you!

My first birth was an unmedicated, fairly un-interventive hospital birth, which was somewhat disappointing, not the delivery, but after birth. I've dealt with a lot of anger at the unnecessary separation of my DD and me.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
If you scan the thread, you'll see references to self medicating, prescriptions, etc. I don't know if this'll make you feel better or not, but here's what I accomplished today:

-I napped
-I gave my toes one coat of polish while DS napped
-I made lunch (go me)
-I threw a load of training pants in the wash at 7:30 am. . . they're still there.
-Oh, I did sort some nursing/fall clothes.

I wanted to get so much more done, but I didn't. I totally know what you mean about the whole, 'where did my day go?' thing.









Pumpkincat- you're allowed a minirant now and then!







Unfortunately that happens so often in big churches, I know a woman who had the exact same thing happen to her. She had a baby at age 18, she was alone, no help, and when her mom asked the church if someone could at least deliver a meal for them, she was told, "Noone does that right now"







My church is tiny by a lot of standards, but when someone needs help, everyone pitches in.

Unfortunately, this one experience with my mentor at church is the absolute best to have happened in some time. As far as she and the requirements she's placed on me are concerned, it's been horrendous.

Wow, I hate it when churches are un-Christlike. It makes me mad.

Is the mentor refusing to work with your ADD? Grr.

I am pretty excited when I get a load of laundry washed and hung/dried the same day.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *gabysmom617* 
Yeah, I can imagine, being that I was 6 month pregnant lady climbing up on a picnic cooler trying to get into a window while my 3yo stood outside and watched in amusement, when the cooler fell away, and my legs got stuck/hooked in the window, and scraped my legs all the way down, almost fell and broke my neck, had to make efforts to fall so that I wouldn't fall on my big swole stomach.
Some things are on autopilot now. Like, it physically doesn't feel right to me to lock the door going out unless my keys are in my hand at the same time.

But typing is so weird these last few days. I keep leaving out whole words and whole phrases in my sentences. I usually love writing in message boards. But I feel like such a dunce, it's not working.

I can forget what I'm saying in the middle of a sentence. I hate it!
I never ock doors without knowing exactly where my keys are, having just visually check at I'm standing in front of it, etc. And I haven't locked myself out of my car in over two years or our apartment!

Did you know that if you have a remote starter, it works over the phone? Just hold it close to the phone on the other end and click it and hold the phone by the car.

Oh my word, I'm sorry but that mental image of pregnant woman stuck had me














:



heidirk said:


> Oh, my goodness, yes! And the first time it caused me a real emotional crisis, because I had things under control before that, and suddenly it was, I'm-sticking-milk-in-the-pantry-and-salting-my-coffee kind of a deal. I locked myself out of my house no less than three times while preggo with DS. Can you imagine an 8 mos peggo woman up on a ladder prying open the screen on her kitchen window? I split my pants crawling in, too! /QUOTE]
> Ugh, twice I've turned the wrong burner on and melted something. Twice!
> 
> Quote:
> ...


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## PrennaMama (Oct 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maggirayne* 
My mom thought it was a cop-out then. Not sure what she thinks now.

My mom also thought (and after some wine, still thinks) ADD is a myth.... a cop-out.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maggirayne* 
FIL isn't your dr. and DH should not discuss either of your medical (or not) choices, IMO. I'm glad the Celexa is helping. But yeesh, unless the ADD is still interfering, why worry. and if the meds caused anger issues, yikes, I wouldn't touch them.

Right? The ADHD just isn't his issue, right now; and his therapist (another ADHD Specialist) specifically chose Celexa as it's an searonin reuptake inhibitor and works well for folks with multiple issues, like ADHD and depression. I haven't been giev an opportunity since the last time they asked, but I'm ready should they again... I want to respond:"What is your concern, _really_? In our home, in our life, ADHD is not a problem to us, and we're managing fine. But it seems to be a major source of concern for _you_, so what is it exactly that you're concerned about?"

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maggirayne* 
<snip>ILs have no respect for your boundaries/personal business. And DH is pushing on you, or it sounds like you feel he is. But then the fat comments, well, that is just uncalled for and unkind and make me mad for you. I mean, there are "things you do not say to your wife" and those are some of them.









<snip>Just come see us, we'll tell you you're fine!









Girl! Thank you so much!! I don't know how to express my gratitude... seriously. I have never in my entire life felt as understood as I just did reading your reply... I have a lump in my throat. You're right. They really have very little respect for dh at all, and only slightly more for me, as I'm not actually _theirs_, so they still put on airs a little.

As for dh's comments about my weight... I've lost 40 lbs in the last year, and have kept it off, but I still remain plus-sized. I am conscious about my weight, and always a little worried about trying to lose more, but in no big hurry. When he says stuff like that, I believe it comes from a place of support, like trying to come up with ideas to help me with something he knows I would like to accomplish. He was raised by people who did that to him, and doesn't realize (until I tell him straight out) that it's not really something I want or need to hear. When he says stuff like "Do you really _need_ a dessert, honey?" I dead-eye him and say, "Do you really _need_ to say _anything_ to me about my food choices? I'm the one who has lost 40 lbs, while you have gained 45... who here should be worrying about what they eat?" Either that or I jokingly point out that one of the perks of being a grown up is that I can eat whatever I want, and no one can stop me... I could eat gum off the ground if I wanted...









I just realized, typing this, that I have never (even in therapy) felt that I had anyone to talk to about what life is like for me, and for us, and the situation with his family (which is embarassingly toxic for one whose entering the mental health, family therapy field).

I feel valididated, and I appreciate your input very much... Thank you. Thank you, ladies, for this thread...


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Wow! SO much to respond to!

Welcome Prennamomma! Nice to have you join us!
And hello to Mommabohl! We're happy to provide you a place to fit in!









Prennamomma- I wanted to say I very much liked your reference to ADD/ADHD being a 'divergent mind-set' I think I'd combine your two terms, and call it a 'divergent *skill*-set'! It really is. There are things I can do, that 'normals' can't do, and I can do them specifically *because* I have ADD- Like store massive amounts of seemingly unconnected information!







It doesn't matter to me if it's not exactly relevant to my life at the moment, I can connect it up later. Most people, in order to learn something, it has to have something to connect to immediately, or it can't be integrated. That's why school works for lots of people, but not US. We don't really need all the background, if you give us the whole picture, we are entirely capable of sorting it out later! We just process info differently, and can do different things with it.

I also liked this question-
"Do any of you think about your diagnosis as you would a diagnosis of any other imbalance or ailment? So may folks still perceive ADHD as a defect... a defficiency (Attention Defficit), that it seems difficult for some to bridge the gap between imbalance and imperfection."

I guess I do think of it that way, but maybe I think of all of my 'diagnosis' the same way- just something special about me that means I need to take care of myself in certain ways. I don;t see it as a defect, just as something that m,akes me different. And what earns us label of different is totally controlled by our environment. If I lived in Mexico, I'd be fine- It's totally acceptable to be hyper speedy for a period of time, and then everyone takes a nap!







Maybe that's why I do so well with toddlers!

It's interesting you had a different effect from the preggo hormones than me and gaby'smom did. Hhmmmm......... Not that mine got any better after DS came, but it definately started in early pregnancy.

I'm so glad your husband's doing better. . .I wish they made a medication for responsibility- I'd give it to MY DH.







Your IL's seem. . . frustrating. I don't even talk to mine about my ADD, they have a hard time accepting that I need to eat protein every few hours or I get very very cranky! They already think of me as high maintainance. . .







: Oh yeah, Ritalin caused major rages for me, too! I will be open to a serotonin reuptake inhibitor if I get PPD this time around. Last time was a hell I do not ever want to experience again.

So- what is is with us and keys anyway? Remember when I lost my keys for like a month, Maggirayne? Oh, my. . . I repeatedly ask DH as we're going out the door, "You have your keys, right?" He's learned to just show them to me, or I keep asking. He's quite understanding about it actually. And as for getting stuck in the window, it's good my house is old, and has very tall windows, or I'd have been out of luck.

Maggirayne- Hi! You asked if my mentor was 'not dealing' with my ADD. SHe is, but my senior pastor sees it as a cop out.







He just does not understand. The absolutely hysterical part about that is that I'd bet my last dollar that his WIFE has ADD. She and I trying to have a conversation is like two ships passing in the night. I recongized the whole 'drifting off' thing so I can't be offended, but I wonder how he doesn';t see the similarities? Course, when it's someone you're that close to, you just kind of accept it as part of them, and don't notice it anymore. I will have to educate Him!









No, my mentor has responded by micromanaging.







: I'll be setting some boundaries when we pick up our meetings again. She means well, but I'm not an idiot.

gaby'smom- hey, girly, don't get so down on yourself, we make some awesome typo's here, or haven't you noticed that my hyphens are often semicolons!







Noone's grading your work- just join us, and say what you need to say!







And for pete's sake, don't go editing your work and stressing yourself out! I've also had quite a few of those 'mouth-hanging-open' moments this PG, and at first it really bothered me. Then I told myslef, 'you know what?, this is me, and if they can't handle me, than I don't need their opinion!' God made me this way, and I have a lot to offer, so I refuse to be embarassed about it!

AAM- just for a moment, I fell and sprained my ankle! Geesh, do I have to be a clutz on top of everything else? And my friend's son is sick, so she can't watch DS today for my appointments. DH finally sadi, 'look, why don't I just stay home?' cause there's no way I could cart a cranky from no nap toddler around to three appointments with a gimpy ankle, and borderline blood pressure! I'd be a complete, bawling-in-a-heap-on-the-floor mess!

Here's to another exciting day!







:


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## samanthamommaof3 (Sep 9, 2008)

its nice to read your posts







.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Hi back!


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## punkrockmomma (Jan 29, 2008)

So, I think I've found a group of women who might understand me!! YEA! I haven't read the entire thread yet, but what I have read I totally relate to! I have not been diagnosed w/ADD yet, but my aunt who has ADD says I have it, and it seems to run in the family. My dad has it too even though he won't admit it. It seems so obvious after reading some of the threads, and I finally believe my Aunt's diagnosis. I too suffer from really bad anxiety, and have had depression before. The anxiety when it gets bad enough turns into the depression it seems. The only meds I'm currently taking are lorazipam for the anxiety. I've been on SSRIs before and I hate them, and they were harder to get off of when I was pregnant them the supposed addictive meds (lorazipam). Having this self diagnosis is difficult because I don't quite know what to do with it yet.
Anyway I also wanted to add some other ways that I can relate before this gets to long. I too have a really hard time getting things done around the house, and the thought of what I have to do is just to daunting, so I don't do anything and that just makes things worse. Also, I get so frustrated when I clean and then things are a mess the next day, because I hate cleaning!!!! I feel the only reason I've gotten better at it is because of the societal pressure placed on mothers to have a nice clean home, and I babysit for my friends daughter so I feel an obligation there to keep my house a little neater at least on the first floor, the second floor is a mess. I also will forget mid sentence what I'm talking about or I won't be able to think of a word I need to use mid sentence and then I totally will lose my point because I can't think of the word. I'm also really forgetful sometimes, it was the worst when I was pregnant, and again it seems to be getting better. But sometimes I feel that things are getting better as far as my ADD symptoms because I'm a sahm and life just seems simpler now then when I was working. The only reason I'm currently worried about having this treated is because I'm going to school to be a Waldorf teacher, and I am really going to need to learn how to mulitask, and organize better or I'm going to have a really hard time being a teacher. Thanks for giving me a place to ramble. -Nicole


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## sonrisaa29 (Feb 3, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
sonrisa- What is dexedrine? Isn't that a stimulant/weightloss drug? Any scary side effects?

It is a stimulant and it was used as a weight loss drug during the 1970's. Most of the drugs used to treat ADD/ADHD are stimulants. I've tried Ritalin and it doesn't work for me. Dexedrine works to clear that fog and helps me focus and get things done.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

High All!

No I haven't dropped off the face of the Earth, I just had my baby!!!







:

Milo Wallace, born October 10, 2008, at 6:15pm. He weighed 8lbs, 12.7 oz.s, and was 20.5 inches long. He's nursing well, with the help of a sheild.

I'll probably post later!


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Congrats!







:







:


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## Pumpkincat (Jul 11, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 









High All!

No I haven't dropped off the face of the Earth, I just had my baby!!!







:

Milo Wallace, born October 10, 2008, at 6:15pm. He weighed 8lbs, 12.7 oz.s, and was 20.5 inches long. He's nursing well, with the help of a sheild.

I'll probably post later!

I love the name you picked! Milo was on my baby name list, so was Marlo and Mateo, and Jonah, and Quinby etc. We went to the hospital with the name Jonah decided upon, but when we seen him, he was a "Mateo" We call him "Tao" for short. He was 10 lbs and born march 30th 08.

You little guy was pretty big too, is everything going well? Do you have help?

Congrats on your new little!


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## AngelBee (Sep 8, 2004)

I was dxed about 4 years ago in the 98% range with ADHD.

It has been a blessing and a curse my whole life.

I have never been medicated, but have fantisized being on something and being "normal"


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AngelBee* 
I was dxed about 4 years ago in the 98% range with ADHD.

It has been a blessing and a curse my whole life.

I have never been medicated, but have fantisized being on something and being "normal"

















Normal is relative. In fact, our lifestyle is very abnormal in most of the rest of the world! Even when I was 'on something' I was never very close to most people's idea of normal.

Welcome!

Pumkincat- Thanks! In the hospital, I thought for a second that maybe he was a Moses instead of a Milo, but I really never liked the biblical Moses. He was too much of a whiner and a wuss for me!







So Milo it is. It supposed to mean 'mild or peaceful' which I didn't know when I picked it, but I sure could use some peace hereabouts!

I like Mateo, but DH's name is Matthew, so that was not an option! (stubborn husbandperson!)

Things are going pretty well. No real crying jags or anything. Today is the first day I don't have help, and it's going ok-ish. Milo had to cry for a few minutes while I got DS1 down for a nap, but he needs his nap so badly, it wass just not an option to quit!







I don't feel quite as frantic when Milo cries as I did with DS. I guess I just have some momma practice?







I dunno.

I'll have to get him used to the mei-tai, so far, he hasn't been very happy in it.







I actually ran the dishwasher! I'm making myself play/rest while both the boys are sleeping, I don't see any other way to stay sane, really!









Oooh, I forgot- yes, he's nice sized, but he seems like a peanut to me, b/c DS1 was 9lbs 5 ozs! DS1 was long and lanky, and Milo is a tiny pudgeball! He's so snuggable! Your new LO is a10 pounder! Wow!


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Oh my, Elisabeth was 6 lbs 7 oz! I can't imagine a baby that big! He sounds like he's cuddly tho'!

Hi Angelbee! I've seen you around a lot. And I love your siggy.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

bumpity bump!


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## ~Boudicca~ (Sep 7, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AngelBee* 
I was dxed about 4 years ago in the 98% range with ADHD.

It has been a blessing and a curse my whole life.

I have never been medicated, but have fantisized being on something and being "normal"









Oh hi Angelbee, welcome to our funhouse! And hello to everyone else.

OMG. Someone please focus me. Like right now.

I am child-free tonight, and I planned to take the opportunity to get caught up on the housework.

So far, my house looks like crap still. But I have managed to make cat toys out of old baby socks and catnip, I have distributed some TP to the bathroom upstairs, and have searched endlessly for the plug for my iPod.

The kids will be home in 5 hours and I feel like that is too soon for me to get things done.

AAAAACCCCKKKK! Here I am complaining about being distracted and not getting anything done but being on this stupid computer is not helping!!

ETA::: The cats tore holes in the baby socks in a matter of 5 minutes and there is catnip all over my kitchen floor. So much for being clever









I want to find my iPod plug so I can listen to some tunes! Music helps me block out distractions and helps me focus.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Oh, Honeydee!!







A woman after my own heart! At least you did something nice for your cats!









I have had this exact problem, as in, "OK, I have this huge chunk of time, and ten things to do, where do I start?" and I end up getting nothing done. Or at least not enough to justify the time I spent!









I have actually done some laundry today, and while the boys are asleep, I need to write thank you cards. So what do I do? I sit down at the computer to see how everyone else is doing!
















Oh, my. . . well, off I go then!


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Hmmm.... I think I might belong here.

Not diagnosed, but WOW do I get what you're saying. Just yesterday, I had an important meeting at 6. I spent the whole week whining about it because yesterday was DH's birthday, and it meant we couldn't go out to dinner - that I'd have to cook.

So DH gets home, we start putzing around, and I say "hey, we've got all this time now! Dinner won't be ready until 7:30, let's go do something!"........... and miss the meeting.









Unreal.

I also constantly forget things, and am on the anxiety side of this - I'll freak out about something for a long time, and instead of getting things done I'll just obsess.

I'm going to finish reading everything. I'm very interested in vitamins/supplements. How did you guys figure out what this was?


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## ~Boudicca~ (Sep 7, 2005)

Hey there Sara!

Well, I can completely relate to your post.

How did I figure out how I had this and what exactly it was? Well, it all began with this thread that I started last year.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=827848

This was the start of me seeking a diagnosis. The funny thing is, I had never really considered it seriously until I spoke to my therapist about it. I told her that I had read Driven to Distraction so I could learn how to deal with my DH (who has ADD) and when I went through the checklist of symptoms and stuff I think I could answer yes to about 90% of them. So I said to her, "You know, I don't know if I buy it. I mean, doesn't everyone operate this way?" And she stifled a giggle and said, "Nope."

OH. And the lightbulb went on and the door opened to the wonderful world of "what do I do with myself now that I have learned that the executive centers of my brain don't work right?"


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Wow, honeydee. We're kindred spirits.









Here's a list off one of the sites I googled after reading your post.

Some symptoms of ADHD but not commonly described in articles about ADHD include:

* Hypersensitivity to noise, touch, and smell
* Low feeling of self-worth
* Easily overwhelmed
* Hypersensitive to criticism
* Poor sense of time - often runs late
* Starts projects but can't seem to finish them
* Takes on too much
* Difficulty remembering names
* Says things without thinking, often hurting others' feelings
* Appears self-absorbed
* Poor math and/or writing skills
* Doesn't seem to hear what others are saying
* Addictive behaviors: shopping, eating
* Problems with word retrieval
* Poor handwriting
* Difficulty with boring, repetitive tasks
* Thinks things over and over
* Difficulty making decisions
* Clumsy, poor coordination
* Tires easily or conversely, can't sit still
** Has problems falling asleep and difficulty waking up the next morning*

DEFINITELY that last one. Which is why it's 11 and I'm still up.


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## ~Boudicca~ (Sep 7, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 
Wow, honeydee. We're kindred spirits.









Here's a list off one of the sites I googled after reading your post.

Some symptoms of ADHD but not commonly described in articles about ADHD include:

* Hypersensitivity to noise, touch, and smell
* Low feeling of self-worth
* Easily overwhelmed
* Hypersensitive to criticism
* Poor sense of time - often runs late
* Starts projects but can't seem to finish them
* Takes on too much
* Difficulty remembering names
* Says things without thinking, often hurting others' feelings
* Appears self-absorbed
* Poor math and/or writing skills
* Doesn't seem to hear what others are saying
* Addictive behaviors: shopping, eating
* Problems with word retrieval
* Poor handwriting
* Difficulty with boring, repetitive tasks
* Thinks things over and over
* Difficulty making decisions
* Clumsy, poor coordination
* Tires easily or conversely, can't sit still
** Has problems falling asleep and difficulty waking up the next morning*

DEFINITELY that last one. Which is why it's 11 and I'm still up.
















You know, there's a Nocturnal Mama's Tribe around here too. You could always check that out as well







. BTW, where did you come up with your user name?

Oh! Word retrieval! I forgot about that. I'd like to think that I am an articulate person, but I cannot make the thought and my hand/mouth connect. It's really weird. My thoughts, especially on something intellectual are crystal clear, but to get them out of my head is pointless sometimes. I will rarely post anything in debate form in Politics because I know what I want to say but I cannot articulate it. I feel like there is a brick right in the center of my forehead when I need to say something.

I can't sit still either.

You know what would be funny? To see what would happen if all of us were in the same room together. We would probably invent a revolutionary idea that the world has never heard of before but walk out completely bruised from walking into each other so much because we can't sit still.


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *honeydee* 
You know, there's a Nocturnal Mama's Tribe around here too. You could always check that out as well







. BTW, where did you come up with your user name?

Oh! Word retrieval! I forgot about that. I'd like to think that I am an articulate person, but I cannot make the thought and my hand/mouth connect. It's really weird. My thoughts, especially on something intellectual are crystal clear, but to get them out of my head is pointless sometimes. I will rarely post anything in debate form in Politics because I know what I want to say but I cannot articulate it. I feel like there is a brick right in the center of my forehead when I need to say something.

I can't sit still either.

You know what would be funny? To see what would happen if all of us were in the same room together. We would probably invent a revolutionary idea that the world has never heard of before but walk out completely bruised from walking into each other so much because we can't sit still.

Gee, honeydee, THANKS. Give me YET ANOTHER reason to be addicted to MDC.







Have you seen my join date and post count? And I've had at least 2 jobs at the same time, was pregnant, and now have a baby and am STILL posting here.









I used to walk down the hallways in high school reading a book and never run into anyone. In normal life? BAM! BANG! I swear, all our animals say to themselves "Uh oh, that little owner is up again! Get out of the way!" They watch me like a hawk.

Oh man, I just go down in flames over in Politics, but I can't help myself. I can't tell you how many threads have been closed because I've said something, people have picked things apart, and it's become a total flame-war.







And I'm on the sidelines going "wait! not what i meant! aack!"









Oh, my username? Long story, actually. My nickname in high school was SMO. I had an LLBean backpack with my initials monogrammed across the back - SMO. It stuck through college, and when I got married, DH (to be a butt-head







) started calling me SME. You know - like the pirate from Hook? Smee? So I came up with smeisnotaipirate. Can we say crazy connections? Everything in my life has a weird, convoluted story like that.









I do that stuff all the time. DH's AIM name, which I picked out, is organeiser. Our last name is "Eiser" and he plays the organ. So he's an organeiser. Organizer.


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## ~Boudicca~ (Sep 7, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 

I used to walk down the hallways in high school reading a book and never run into anyone. In normal life? BAM! BANG! I swear, all our animals say to themselves "Uh oh, that little owner is up again! Get out of the way!" They watch me like a hawk.

Oh man, I just go down in flames over in Politics, but I can't help myself. I can't tell you how many threads have been closed because I've said something, people have picked things apart, and it's become a total flame-war.







And I'm on the sidelines going "wait! not what i meant! aack!"










Oh my god, I think you are my twin.

I walk into stuff all the time. I step on my cats, my toddler (well they're underfoot I can't help it). I hurt myself on a regular basis. I hurt others on a regular basis. I have no spatial awareness at all. I suggested to my husband that he wear a cup when he's around me







.

Do you ever feel like you could just







: people all the time in Politics because they said it so much better than you could ever dream of? I do.


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *honeydee* 
Oh my god, I think you are my twin.

I walk into stuff all the time. I step on my cats, my toddler (well they're underfoot I can't help it). I hurt myself on a regular basis. I hurt others on a regular basis. I have no spatial awareness at all. I suggested to my husband that he wear a cup when he's around me







.

Do you ever feel like you could just







: people all the time in Politics because they said it so much better than you could ever dream of? I do.

Oh, absolutely.

I am SO enjoying this thread. This really makes me feel so... ok about myself. The cheer and camaraderie is great.









ETA: I've been wondering if I've got PPD recently. It makes a LOT of sense within ADD now.


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## ~Boudicca~ (Sep 7, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 
Oh, absolutely.

I am SO enjoying this thread. This really makes me feel so... ok about myself. The cheer and camaraderie is great.









ETA: I've been wondering if I've got PPD recently. It makes a LOT of sense within ADD now.


Oh, I'm so glad you found us! It's so nice to fit in somewhere, YK?

I'd look into the PPD thing for sure. I noticed that the ADHD stuff I had going on just seemed completely out of control around 3 months post partum with my last baby. That is when I seriously started wondering WTH was up with me. Those hormones will make you nuts.

Well, good night everyone. I'm going to attempt sleeping now.


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

honeydee, yes. That's about when it all came to a head. DH came home one day and I shoved the baby into his arms (screaming, of course







) and just rocked myself in the corner of our bedroom. I'm usually so rock-steady that these feelings of utter lack of control are just so strange. Ugh. That means I need to find a doctor.

You guys were talking about births, etc, a little while back. I had a birth worse than my "worst fear" birth I had to write out in my birthing class. I don't feel like looking it up now, but it's in the birth stories under "Tobias Benjamin" if you're interested. Luckily, it hasn't affected my bonding with him - he's such a sweet and special little guy.

I think that's what this PPD or whatever is from, and I'm wondering if it's aggravating the ADD. Stress just makes things worse for me, and I've noticed that since Toby was born, I don't sleep well, sleep for long periods of time and don't feel rested, forget more appointments, and my number 1 problem - I obsess about how much time I have left to do stuff, and it'll be 10am and I have to be at a meeting at 3pm, and I'll start freaking out that I can't start anything because I won't have time to finish before I have to go. Little things, like laundry or cleaning the bathroom.

heidirk, are you in my neck of the woods? I totally forgot if it was you or someone else. If so, let me know if you need help with your LO.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

You two are too funny! Sara, I love your screenname, for some reason it always makes me smile. Heidi's in PA. Why did I think you were in Israel, Sara?

Honeydee, how's your LO? You were in the May '07 DDC, weren't you?

I'd much rather sit here on MDC on my couch than clean.


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## ~Boudicca~ (Sep 7, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 
honeydee, yes. That's about when it all came to a head. DH came home one day and I shoved the baby into his arms (screaming, of course







) and just rocked myself in the corner of our bedroom. I'm usually so rock-steady that these feelings of utter lack of control are just so strange. Ugh. That means I need to find a doctor.

You guys were talking about births, etc, a little while back. I had a birth worse than my "worst fear" birth I had to write out in my birthing class. I don't feel like looking it up now, but it's in the birth stories under "Tobias Benjamin" if you're interested. Luckily, it hasn't affected my bonding with him - he's such a sweet and special little guy.

I think that's what this PPD or whatever is from, and I'm wondering if it's aggravating the ADD. Stress just makes things worse for me, and I've noticed that since Toby was born, I don't sleep well, sleep for long periods of time and don't feel rested, forget more appointments, and my number 1 problem - I obsess about how much time I have left to do stuff, and it'll be 10am and I have to be at a meeting at 3pm, and I'll start freaking out that I can't start anything because I won't have time to finish before I have to go. Little things, like laundry or cleaning the bathroom.

heidirk, are you in my neck of the woods? I totally forgot if it was you or someone else. If so, let me know if you need help with your LO.

Yeah, that sounds about right. PPD aggravating the ADD and vice versa. There is a lot of good info on the Post Partum board here if you haven't been there already. A lot of people recommend fish oil capsules and Rescue Remedy to help brain function and take the edge off the anxiety. Calcium/Magnesium supplements will help with your sleep issues.

Yeah, I freak if I only have a certain amount of time to get things done. I work at night a couple times a week and if I have to leave for work at 4 I will not start anything, even if I get up early. It's like if I don't have a day off I won't do it. Ugh.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maggirayne* 
You two are too funny! Sara, I love your screenname, for some reason it always makes me smile. Heidi's in PA. Why did I think you were in Israel, Sara?

Honeydee, how's your LO? You were in the May '07 DDC, weren't you?

I'd much rather sit here on MDC on my couch than clean.









Yup!







She is fine. My toddler is as sweet as pie but has no concept of physical limitations and boundaries. I think she is actually trying to kill herself. It freaks me out because her big sister was the exact opposite (attitude but very cautious). She is running me ragged. But oh my she is so cute.

How is yours? I never really kept up very well with the threads in Life with a Babe.


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maggirayne* 
You two are too funny! Sara, I love your screenname, for some reason it always makes me smile. Heidi's in PA. Why did I think you were in Israel, Sara?

Honeydee, how's your LO? You were in the May '07 DDC, weren't you?

I'd much rather sit here on MDC on my couch than clean.









Oh man, I WISH I was in Israel. *sigh* Maybe someday. You probably thought that because I'm over on the Jewish mamas thread, and always talking about "OMG, Israel, I lovz Israel, OMG."









Glad you like the SN!









I knew she was in PA! Wow, my memory is amazing sometimes. Can't remember what I had for lunch, but I remember heidirk is in PA.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

That's funny becaus eI was just thinking about the random way things connect in my mind. I can't remember the way to the birth center, but I can remember gory details from Hen's birth over 2 years ago!!

Welcome Sarah! We're collecting quite the little folowing here, aren't we?







The more of us there are, the more normal we'll feel!

Sarah- I really think that having ADD or ADHD sets the stage for PPD in the first place. It's like the foundation isn't stable, so it sets us p for all sorts of different imbalances. I definately had PPD with Hen, but not, it seems this time around. It does help, having MDC, though, because if I'm dealing with something, chances are, someone else has here too.

Speaking of sensory issues, I need to go now, and file down the nails on my other hand. I can';t type with nails longer on one hand than the other, it's too distracting. Sigh. . .


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## forrestguy (Mar 6, 2008)

Wow. I don't know if I have ADD, but I sure can relate to alot of what you guys are saying. I do, however, have a son with ADD, but the only reason I say that is 1. because of his behavior and 2. we took this test at the counselor's office and she said he had ADD, but the test was so stupid! He was five when we did it and it asked questions like if he had a hard time sitting still. Well...duuuuh. He's a five year old boy. What the hell? Of course he has a hard time sitting still! So I don't know. There's no way I'd ever ever medicate him because honestly I don't think that ADD is a disease. I think that everyone is different and some people are this way and some people are that way. I think that the reason they call this type of personality a 'disease' is because these are the people who don't fit into the mold of public schools. They don't do well sitting in chair and learning from a flat sheet of paper. We tried to teach my ADD son how to read by looking at the letters on paper and he would just bounce around and look at us like we were crazy. We would show him the same letter over and over again and he would get it the first three times and then forget. He was starting to feel really bad about himself and saying he was stupid







BUT when we started to add movement into teaching him his letters he got it right away! I had him bounce on the trampoline and say the letter and the sound every time he bounced. We taped the flashcards onto the floor and him jump from card to card as he said the sound and letter. He soaked it all up! He learned so fast and he loved it.

I truly believe that if our public schools embraced these so called ADD kids and worked with their own individual learning styles, ADD would cease to be a problem and become a blessing. We need you ADD people. Y'all are great! How boring the world would be if everyone were quiet and still and disciplined. ADD makes the world a more enjoyable place.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

There's definately something to be said for dynamic learning, isn't there!

And no, I do not consider ADD or ADHD to be a disease.

Good for you for finding a way to teach your son!


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Kim, welcome, and what an awesome way to teach your son his letters! I remember learning the books of the Bible by doing a song with motions.

Yeah, that must be why, Sara.







at the things that stick in memory!

ITA with ADD not a disease.

In other news, I am expecting a baby late May/early June. I plan on eating the placenta and see how that helps with the general brain fog. I didn't have PPD, but I have a day or two a month that I just get down, and it's not fun. I drive DH nuts and depress him too. Heh, now there's a new 'treatment' for ADD--placenta! I'm a little amazed that Pharma isn't jumping onto getting placentas, I don't think I've heard a single story where it didn't help. But then who wants pharma commandeering their placentas. Of course who knows, they whisk them away at the hospital. And I've read something of people suspecting of hospitals just taking the cord blood and that being the reason for immediate clamping. I've also read about how the sac is great for putting on burms. Our bodies are so amazing!

Okay, now I sound like a conspiracy theorist. And don't you love the wonderful examples of an ADD mind going from announcing my pregnancy to being a conspiracy theorist? I love my brain!


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maggirayne* 
Kim, welcome, and what an awesome way to teach your son his letters! I remember learning the books of the Bible by doing a song with motions.

Yeah, that must be why, Sara.







at the things that stick in memory!

ITA with ADD not a disease.

In other news, I am expecting a baby late May/early June. I plan on eating the placenta and see how that helps with the general brain fog. I didn't have PPD, but I have a day or two a month that I just get down, and it's not fun. I drive DH nuts and depress him too. Heh, now there's a new 'treatment' for ADD--placenta! I'm a little amazed that Pharma isn't jumping onto getting placentas, I don't think I've heard a single story where it didn't help. But then who wants pharma commandeering their placentas. Of course who knows, they whisk them away at the hospital. And I've read something of people suspecting of hospitals just taking the cord blood and that being the reason for immediate clamping. I've also read about how the sac is great for putting on burms. Our bodies are so amazing!

Okay, now I sound like a conspiracy theorist. And don't you love the wonderful examples of an ADD mind going from announcing my pregnancy to being a conspiracy theorist? I love my brain!









:

Congrats!!!!! I was due with Toby on May 31 and he came around on June 4. Great time to be born!








:

I was supposed to have a birth center waterbirth - ended up in the hospital with an emergency c







: meaning no placenta. I was totally going to encapsulate and everything, so it's ironic about the PPD.

Let us know if you need anything as you go forward. You getting sick?


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Ugh, yes. nauseous most of the time. I eat all the time so that keeps me form puking, but egh, finding something that sounds good every hour! Heh, those are my dates, if you figure 266 days for pg. Elisabeth was born on May 4th, so that would be fun!

Ugh, I'm sorry. I bet that was hard. We're planning on a homebirth. So far two of the 3 midwives I've talked to can't. I'm not stressing--yet. I said, "Well, if #3 can't then our only option is to UC." DH said, "The hospital." _He_ can go have a baby in the hospital.









I wish somebody lived closer, it would be fun to hang out with you all.


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maggirayne* 
Ugh, yes. nauseous most of the time. I eat all the time so that keeps me form puking, but egh, finding something that sounds good every hour! Heh, those are my dates, if you figure 266 days for pg. Elisabeth was born on May 4th, so that would be fun!

Ugh, I'm sorry. I bet that was hard. We're planning on a homebirth. So far two of the 3 midwives I've talked to can't. I'm not stressing--yet. I said, "Well, if #3 can't then our only option is to UC." DH said, "The hospital." _He_ can go have a baby in the hospital.










I wish somebody lived closer, it would be fun to hang out with you all.

Did you have a c-sec? Is that the problem finding a mw?


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## BennyPai (Jul 22, 2005)

Subbing.
I am self-diagnosed ADD (Inattentive). I took the test in Healing the Six Types of ADD. My husband is in strong agreement with the results, and it has helped us function better as a couple and as parents. Still, it is a bumpy road and I don't always utilize the coping skills I've learned. I often feel like I'm not doing a good enough job as a mother and wife, and not trying hard enough to improve.








Still, my husband is supportive and tries his best to be understanding when I am late, take too long running errands, can't seem to stay on task, etc. The poor guy often comes home after 10 hours of manual labor and zips around tidying and what I call "rescuing me." I expect a certain amount of the housework load to fall on my partner's shoulders, but often it is far more than he deserves.









Anyway, hello everyone! I look forward to reading more posts from this thread - I can relate to so much of what I have read already!


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

No, there's only 3 in my whole state.







I had a decent (unmedicated) but fairly normal 9baby taken to nursery for _hours_)hospital birth experience that I have no desire to repeat.

Hi, Jenny! What a sweet husband you have. One thing that's helped me is my husband will help me pick one task to focus on when he leaves for work.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Hi BennyPai!!







Welcome to the Funhouse!!









I need a lot more from DH than other moms I know do, and it gets to me sometimes, too. In reality though, we *should* take for granted that our partners will need us, and we them, not take our independance for granted. I think that's what makes a lot of relationships tense, YK?

Maggirayne- Congratulations!







Keep us posted!


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## octobermom (Aug 31, 2005)

I'm a diagnoised ADD (no hyper activity)

Deanna


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## octobermom (Aug 31, 2005)

Oh I'm not on medication I was put on Ritilan as a child I remember how horrible it made me feel. Like I couldn't move couldn't respond like i was helpless to react to anything.

Deanna


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## octobermom (Aug 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
The actual bathroom wasn';t that bad, it was the two disadter areas we ahad to walk through to get to the bathroom!









But it's not all my fault, DH doesn't put ANYTHING away, at all! I told him last night, that the next diaperwrap I find laying around with a wet cloth diaper festering inside, would be placed inside his pillowcase!







: Surprisingly enough, he didn't get angry, he just walked around gathering up all the wraps he'd left laying around, and took them down to the diaper pail!







:









This made me smile.. I've realized lately how DH and I complement each other. I'm the miminalist I hate having a lot of anything I want just enough to function enough clothes to last the week a towel per person ect but I could care less about tons of books lots of clothes ect.. BUT... I'm also the absent minded person I'm the one who comes inside drops my keys in a cup left on the kitchen counter kicks my shoes off in the middle of the living room opens a granola bar tosses the paper on the table.... ect
Dh however wants to keep collect everything when I met him he had a collection of national Geographics clear back to the 1920s all in mint condition he will hang on to everything cause it might come in handy but he will also find my keys and hang them up put my shoes on the rack he makes sure the dishes never totally pile up. He helps keep tract of me I keep the cluter at bay...

Deanna


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *octobermom* 
I'm a diagnoised ADD (no hyper activity)

Deanna









Hi!


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Hey, what do you think about ADD and diet? What has helped/not helped? What do you think about the supplement suggestion at the bottom of this article?


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

I have the Nutrition Solution book, never got into it. My ADD hasn't been such an issue in the more recent years. But, I've been taking fish oil and using olive oil for cooking and on prenatals for oh, 3 years?


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## kfillmore (Oct 23, 2008)

Just saw this post. Yes, ADD (with a real fidgety nature) I am pregnant now. I am worried. I can barley take care of things now! My husband helps with things like dishes and trash but he doesn't have a clue about organization. Me I can plan anything I just can follow through with the plan. I spend lots of time really disliking myself for not doing stuff. We also just moved and I am really struggling putting things together. AND I am overwellmed right now with my itchy impulsiveness to move to back "home" (we just moved 20 minutes away). That has been one of the hardest things for me to deal with-always wanting to be somewhere else.

And now I am trying to balance what to buy for baby/not buy etc

I did read about the FLY LADY in some ADD book or something. Check out her website. Don't get overwellmed by all the info. As she says "baby steps" It really is a great method etc. It is the ONLY thing that has ever given me hope about having a functional home life.

katharine


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## sapphos (Nov 9, 2006)

I am positive I have ADD. My friend just finished her nursing relationship a couple of months ago and started taking Adirol (sp?) and said it worked wonders. I really am so tired of going in circles, starting something only two minutes later to run off to do soemthing else just as important







and having a depressingly cluttered messy dirty house that I just can't get my mind even remotely wrapped around. Since I plan to unschool it's really important to get this under control. Oh yea and we plan to add one more little one to our family if things go right so that's another incentive.


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

sapphos, I get ya.







I hope you get the help you need.

Soooooooooooooooo went to a therapist on Thursday, and she was VERY cool about this - said an actual diagnosis is going to take more than one session (







$$$$$$$$$$$







), but I have all the classic signs.

She thinks I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder as well, so it's probably a few different things.

I'll keep you guys updated.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 
Hey, what do you think about ADD and diet? What has helped/not helped? What do you think about the supplement suggestion at the bottom of this article?

That's really neat! It sort of describes all the changes that I've sort of organically made over time to my diet and lifestyle. And here I thought my Hypoglycemia and my ADD were separate phenomena!







It also explains why I did so well on an Atkins style diet!







:

*kfillmore*- You sound exactly like my dad in wanting to always be somewhere else! And home for me is only ever my house, right here. If we ever move, ooohhhh I'll be in sorry shape! I spent 3/4 of my childhood moving(what a way to wack out an ADD brain, anyway!







: ) and I still have dreams about not being able to find a bathroom in the middle of the night!







I wet the bed for a long time, and I think it had a lot to do with A. always being in a new house, B. having terrible eyesight, especially at night, C. and not being allowed out of bed at night, except to pee.

*Sapphos*- I am seriously reconsidering my intention to homeschool, simply because I cannot get my shtuff organized! How on Earth am I supposed to homeschool?


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Just a general vent. How many times have you said/done something that seemed completely innocent at the time, only to have someone tell you later, it was a gross error on your part, and you should have known better?

I doubt myself enough already, and I CANNOT always guage other people's reactions. I drove my self crazy as a child trying very hard never to offend anyone, and what ended up happening is that I just never talked at all in certain circumstances.

AAGGHHHHH!!!!!! Balance! Where is Balance?









On a lighter note, I had a very nice time at a new friend's house last evening, and my two YO who was VERY impressed by their pets, keeps saying today, "yeah momma, mouw (meow) woof dog!"









What oh what shall I do with this beautiful day today? Maybe, if I'm lucky I can get a shower!!!







:


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
Just a general vent. How many times have you said/done something that seemed completely innocent at the time, only to have someone tell you later, it was a gross error on your part, and you should have known better?

I doubt myself enough already, and I CANNOT always guage other people's reactions. I drove my self crazy as a child trying very hard never to offend anyone, and what ended up happening is that I just never talked at all in certain circumstances.

AAGGHHHHH!!!!!! Balance! Where is Balance?









You know, I've decided that I try to be nice and not make jokes that will come across wrong, and if someone takes it wrong, then they do have some responsibility not to be offended by everything out there, does that make sense?
But,







it is no fun being taken wrongly.


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## 1littlebit (Jun 1, 2008)

help mamas im going nuts. im add and my meds are no longer working. i have tried a bunch of different kinds and nothing works!! i dont know what to do to help myself. im not getting anything done. we just moved and the house is a shambles. i need to get it together but im totally at a loss. is there anything i can do? when i got diagnosed at 19 and started meds it changed my life tremendously for the better. now i just dont know what to do.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maggirayne* 
You know, I've decided that I try to be nice and not make jokes that will come across wrong, and if someone takes it wrong, then they do have some responsibility not to be offended by everything out there, does that make sense?
But,







it is no fun being taken wrongly.

Y'know, that's just it, I wasn't even joking, I was just expressing my very personal hurt.







: Thxs for the hugs!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *1littlebit* 
help mamas im going nuts. im add and my meds are no longer working. i have tried a bunch of different kinds and nothing works!! i dont know what to do to help myself. im not getting anything done. we just moved and the house is a shambles. i need to get it together but im totally at a loss. is there anything i can do? when i got diagnosed at 19 and started meds it changed my life tremendously for the better. now i just dont know what to do.

Hi 1littlebit! First, I think I know how you feel. At times of unusual stress (or pregnancy!  ) my supplements lose their 'power'. I do find it necessary to add, adjust, or experiment to find my equilibrium again. The only advice I can offer is to give yourself a little time to get used to your new surroundings. It takes me a minimum of a year to get settled into a new house!


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
On a lighter note, I had a very nice time at a new friend's house last evening, and my two YO who was VERY impressed by their pets, keeps saying today, "yeah momma, mouw (meow) woof dog!"



















I know a dog who spent the morning trying to get a baby to chase her around the house. Poor dog doesn't get that she'll have to wait a bit.









1littlebit,







. Maybe just give yourself one thing to do in the morning and one thing in the afternoon. I find getting started is the hardest when things are so messy.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
Y'know, that's just it, I wasn't even joking, I was just expressing my very personal hurt.







: Thxs for the hugs!

Good grief. That makes really upset for you. I hate it when people are weird like that anyway and when you're expressing hurt and wanting empathy, that's just insulting! Man!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *1littlebit* 
help mamas im going nuts. im add and my meds are no longer working. i have tried a bunch of different kinds and nothing works!! i dont know what to do to help myself. im not getting anything done. we just moved and the house is a shambles. i need to get it together but im totally at a loss. is there anything i can do? when i got diagnosed at 19 and started meds it changed my life tremendously for the better. now i just dont know what to do.

Set a timer for 15 minutes and do one thing and don't let yourself get distracted. Hehe, now if I could just do that!







It's not easy.


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## gabysmom617 (Nov 26, 2005)

was trying to figure out the best place to talk about this, and I think it goes here.

I'm having a really difficult time trying to figure out how to take care of my own children at once. It's really extremely difficult for me. It's not just about taking care of them, but how to relate to both of them at once. I have a pretty typical one-track AD/hd mind, I can only handle one thing at a time to the exclusion of everything else, so I'm finding handling my 2week old and my 3yo together to be daunting.

I'm on Zoloft for postpartum depression. My mom had been helping me a lot with my 3yo over the past couple of weeks while I heal up and stuff.

I also feel like I have to emotionally ready myself to deal with both boys. The last few times I had my two children alone together, I felt some extreme anxiety. Not just teary, or unsure, but like, my heart was racing, and I really felt like I was freaking out. Meanwhile both of my boys are sitting there looking at me like, and each other, like







whats her problem.

I felt like I really needed to get a handle on myself and let my meds really kick in.

Well tonight, I really thought I had a handle on myself. My mom drops my 3yo off today, my husband goes to work. He is off tomorrow. So it's like, to me, I just have to really make it through his one 8 hour shift tonight and then he's around all day tomorrow to help and most of the day friday. Things are good.

I took my kid to mcdonalds to play indoors since it was raining. Nursed the baby while I was there. Took him to the store afterwards to replace a special little car that he'd lost and had been asking about for weeks so he'd have something special to play with when we got home and I was occupied with the baby. Things are ok.

...or so I thought. This is how I know I didn't have quite have the handle on my anxiety that I thought I did.

We get home, my 3yo wants a bath. That's fine. All I have to do is put the baby in the carseat and screw the stopper down in the bathtub so it can be filling up. So I put the baby down...

I fiddle with the stopper. And fiddle. And fiddle. The stupid thing will absolutely NOT screw down. It's old and rusty but Im usually easily able to get it to screw down. I. just. can't. My 3yo is axiously beside me ready for his bath, asking me the same questions over and over again. "U fix it mommy? It's broke? U fix it? U fix it? U fix it?"

Finally I annoyedly tell him to hush..

The baby starts crying. I'm freaking out. I finally stop and go to comfort him.

I calm him down, my 3yo is on my heels everywhere I go cause he wants to take a bath with his new toy.

Eventually I try putting the baby down again. I try to screw the stopper down again. It stilll won't. The 3yo is getting excited. The baby eventually starts screaming again. This time really bad. So I"m getting extremely frustrated with the stopper. It takes me a while to calm the baby down this time. My 3yo is starting to do stuff he knows annoys me to get attention from me, basically in defiance because he wants his bath and I haven't had a chance to get it together for him yet..

I try calling my husband like 3 times with no answer to get him to explain to me if there is something he's done with the stopper or broke it or something and I not know about it. FINALLY i reach him, he's like no, just screw it down.

So finally, I put the baby down one more time. I pull his bucket seat in with me so he can watch us. He sits in it and starts to doze off.

And a novel idea hits me. What if I tried screwing the stopper in the opposite direction? I do this. Quick as a flash, the stopper screws down.

big whopping










































moment for me. All that time I was screwing the stopper the wrong way and was too busy freaking out to notice. Ugh.

so...I guess my brain hasn't quite calmed itself down being wrapped around the notion of caring for two children as well as I thought it had. only some one with anxiety plus add would understand


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gabysmom617* 
was trying to figure out the best place to talk about this, and I think it goes here.

I'm having a really difficult time trying to figure out how to take care of my own children at once. It's really extremely difficult for me. It's not just about taking care of them, but how to relate to both of them at once. I have a pretty typical one-track AD/hd mind, I can only handle one thing at a time to the exclusion of everything else, so I'm finding handling my 2week old and my 3yo together to be daunting.

I'm on Zoloft for postpartum depression. My mom had been helping me a lot with my 3yo over the past couple of weeks while I heal up and stuff.

I also feel like I have to emotionally ready myself to deal with both boys. The last few times I had my two children alone together, I felt some extreme anxiety. Not just teary, or unsure, but like, my heart was racing, and I really felt like I was freaking out. Meanwhile both of my boys are sitting there looking at me like, and each other, like







whats her problem.

I felt like I really needed to get a handle on myself and let my meds really kick in.

Well tonight, I really thought I had a handle on myself. My mom drops my 3yo off today, my husband goes to work. He is off tomorrow. So it's like, to me, I just have to really make it through his one 8 hour shift tonight and then he's around all day tomorrow to help and most of the day friday. Things are good.

I took my kid to mcdonalds to play indoors since it was raining. Nursed the baby while I was there. Took him to the store afterwards to replace a special little car that he'd lost and had been asking about for weeks so he'd have something special to play with when we got home and I was occupied with the baby. Things are ok.

...or so I thought. This is how I know I didn't have quite have the handle on my anxiety that I thought I did.

We get home, my 3yo wants a bath. That's fine. All I have to do is put the baby in the carseat and screw the stopper down in the bathtub so it can be filling up. So I put the baby down...

I fiddle with the stopper. And fiddle. And fiddle. The stupid thing will absolutely NOT screw down. It's old and rusty but Im usually easily able to get it to screw down. I. just. can't. My 3yo is axiously beside me ready for his bath, asking me the same questions over and over again. "U fix it mommy? It's broke? U fix it? U fix it? U fix it?"

Finally I annoyedly tell him to hush..

The baby starts crying. I'm freaking out. I finally stop and go to comfort him.

I calm him down, my 3yo is on my heels everywhere I go cause he wants to take a bath with his new toy.

Eventually I try putting the baby down again. I try to screw the stopper down again. It stilll won't. The 3yo is getting excited. The baby eventually starts screaming again. This time really bad. So I"m getting extremely frustrated with the stopper. It takes me a while to calm the baby down this time. My 3yo is starting to do stuff he knows annoys me to get attention from me, basically in defiance because he wants his bath and I haven't had a chance to get it together for him yet..

I try calling my husband like 3 times with no answer to get him to explain to me if there is something he's done with the stopper or broke it or something and I not know about it. FINALLY i reach him, he's like no, just screw it down.

So finally, I put the baby down one more time. I pull his bucket seat in with me so he can watch us. He sits in it and starts to doze off.

And a novel idea hits me. What if I tried screwing the stopper in the opposite direction? I do this. Quick as a flash, the stopper screws down.

big whopping










































moment for me. All that time I was screwing the stopper the wrong way and was too busy freaking out to notice. Ugh.

so...I guess my brain hasn't quite calmed itself down being wrapped around the notion of caring for two children as well as I thought it had. only some one with anxiety plus add would understand

I have done almost this exact thing. It was a window fan for me, which I eventually wrenched out of the window by force (and broke), scaring my 2 yo to death. Yeah- momma freaking out can be scary. . .

what caused the anxiety for me was the fact that it was raining in, all over my clothes- which were on the floor instead of in a drawer where they belonged. . .







By the time I ripped the fan out, it had stopped raining.







:

Have your meds had a chance to kick in yet? the anxiety is the worst, I agree. Did things improve after that? I'm glad you have your dh home today.









nak


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Ohhh, hugs Sonya. Be easy on yourself. This is a time of big adjustment. Your 3 yo is used to having all your attention, so this is new for him. You're not used to having to split your attention, and it's new and sometimes hard for you. Give yourself permission to take a minute and sit back and breathe. You don't have to fix everything. Maybe it could help to have a verse/prayer or saying you read that helps you focus and calm a little.

I was babysitting for a little guy, 3 mos younger than my DD, it would drive me crazy when they would both cry and want to be held, but not at the same time. She would touch him, and he'd push her away, or she'd insist on trying to nurse on the side I was holding him and push at him.









I learned that he would fall asleep even if she were fussing at my feet since he has an older brother, is used to noise, whereas she would wait until nothing was happening to fall asleep.
So one thing, was figuring out simple ways to keep them both happy or calming the one who would calm down quicker and let me 'loose' to attend the other.

If there are any specific instances you need help brainstorming with, let us know. We can think outside the box!









And by the way, Congratulations! Your little guy is so cute!


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

maggirayne- how are you? how's pg?

nak


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## gabysmom617 (Nov 26, 2005)

Thanks so much for the helpful hints!









Is Zoloft supposed to help with anxiety? I'm not sure how long it's supposed to take before it starts to kick in, I've been taking it for a little over a week now.

I know my mom has anxiety issues. I have been grappling over whether I have them as well or not. I always kind of denied that I did, even though there were times where I think I may have had an anxiety attack on rare occassions.

I think yesterday the drama surrounding a simple bathtub stopper is what really drove the point home for me that, yes, I do indeed have anxiety issues. I think they intensify postpartum for me. I think they did last time with my first kid as well, but my memories are fuzzy. I do remember panicing from time to time and asking my husband to come home from work early. I didn't even recall that at all until just recently and feeling the same way with this kid.

My memory is strange around this time. Sleep deprivation really messes me up.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

I think what many people don't realize is that you don't necessarily have to have anxiety *attacks* in order to have anxiety *issues*.

I think add causes anxiety- I mean how can you not be anxious when you're always late, and can't find your keys- YK? And PP causes anxiety physically(for your new babe) and hormonally. Add ADD and PP together, and you have a recipe for depression that's hard to fight. It's like fighting gravity.

I thought Zoloft was for anxiety, but maybe something else would help? Or maybe trying herbs and vitamins would help too? If it's just generalized anxiety from lack of sleep, and being PP, I'd think the Zoloft would help, but IDK really.
















to you too, here, at least, you have a place to vent!


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## PrennaMama (Oct 10, 2005)

Hi Ladies!

So some things I'd love to hear your input on:

Dh and I had a total comin to Jesus over his ADHD/Anxiety/Depression and he elected to go to counseling and get meds. He has had raving success with Celexa. BUT it's possibly causing some sexual side-effects. There are some other issues we're going thru too, marital issues, that all seem to tie back into his matrix of imbalance and his meds......... Some days he blames stuff on the imbalances, some days on his meds, some days on ME. I know that some of what he deals with when he's cycling can make it difficult to be accountable for his behavior, and some of it has the potential to cause disasterous behavior...

However, I also deal with some of the same issues, and have been accused of copping out when I refer to having a bad day with my ADHD. I'm tired of hearing the litany of excuses for his stuff, and having no lattitude in explaining some of my own "bad days"...... kwim?

I am considering going on AdderallXR. I am in school full time and the classes are getting really difficult to wrap my tired out mother-brain around, and ADHD has been really getting in there and messing me up. (Even now, as I _type_ this, I should be working on _two_ papers that are _both_ due tomorrow!) Ugh!!

I would love to have access to a counselor, but we've not got the insruance for it... Dh's MIL step-mother will pay for him to get counseling, but he only went enough times to get drugs, and doesn't see much value in returning in order to actually process some of the traumas etc he has endured. I (as a future clinician) see little value to drugs alone. He doesn't. Ok, that's his bent - the meds are enough. You can lead a horse to water... But he wants me to get on meds now, and is kinda pushy about it. When I halfway agree, then he says "Well, I don't know if you _need_ them... "

And frankly, if I find a means to be re-assessed and prescribed meds myself, I would feel awkward not combining it with therapy...

Thoughts?

Anyone seeing a therapist/on meds, just on meds, just seeing a therapist, or none of these and just coping? (Like me... only probably better than me!







)


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Wow, those are some tough things.

Here's my 2 cts. When we are faced with change, we tend to run through a cycle just like when we're greiving. We move through denial, anger, blame, sadness and if we're lucky, we come to terms with it, we accept it and make it work for us.

At least that's what I have dealt with when I got diagnosed. I think I've acceopted it for the most part, but sometimes I **** blame, get angry, etc. Most of the time I can laugh at myself and capitolise on my strengths.
My DH is moving through the same things right now, as he comes to termswith the fact that he's basically screwed around his whole life, waiting for others to take care of him. Well, I can't anymore, at least not and be a good mom and a decent housekeeper. so he's having to face what needs to be done, but also what that means about WHO he is.

If any of that makes sense, it's a miracle, but what I'm trying to say is, your DH has to work through these things, and hiopefully he'll come out the other side a happier person. YOUR struggle about whether to medicate ot=r not has to be your own decision, and separate from your DH's issues right now.









For me, if I was on Meds, I'd want counseling too, and since meds have side effects I can't accept right now, and I don't have time to counsel, I'll stick with my herbs and vitamins!









I hope that was helpful in some small way!


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## PrennaMama (Oct 10, 2005)

It _was_ helpful.







My friend (a 12-stepper) sometimes tells me to look first at myself and the rest will follow (I think she said it's step 12). Meaning, look not at what you don't like about how other people behave but rather to your reactions and your part and how you can change that.

So someone else told me recently to try Vitamin B to ease some of the issues I have.... citing research wherein mental patients had been given Vitamin B doses and found to be "cured". She swears by it.

Other than Vit B, what other herbs and vits would you recommend looking into?


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PrennaMama* 
Other than Vit B, what other herbs and vits would you recommend looking into?

First, if you're nursing, talk to your doctor or someone you trust and is knowledgeable about bf and vitamins/herbs before you start anything.

I'll tell you what I'm taking, though, so you can do the research and decide.

Prenatal
B-50
Cal/Mag
Ginko Biloba
Valerian
Fish Oil
Iron


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

I'm doing a B-50 complex, Valerian, omega three supplement (it's a fishy one too), and a multivitamin.

When the PPd got bad with DS1- I tried some SAM-e and it helped during the day, but it made the fantastic thinking during night nursing sessions worse. I stopped taking it as soon as I thought I was over the hump, as it were. . .

One thing that also helps me is staying away from bread and potatos and sugar, they make me wakko anyway, and it doesn't help to add that to my already baseline wakkoness! Also- excercise- for the endorphins.

Oh- and caffeine. I consider that medicine.


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## ~Boudicca~ (Sep 7, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
I'm doing a B-50 complex, Valerian, omega three supplement (it's a fishy one too), and a multivitamin.

When the PPd got bad with DS1- I tried some SAM-e and it helped during the day, but it made the fantastic thinking during night nursing sessions worse. I stopped taking it as soon as I thought I was over the hump, as it were. . .

One thing that also helps me is staying away from bread and potatos and sugar, they make me wakko anyway, and it doesn't help to add that to my already baseline wakkoness! Also- excercise- for the endorphins.

Oh- and caffeine. I consider that medicine.









Hey! Nothing wrong with a little caffeine. I swear it helps me focus. I only have one cup of coffee in the morning and for a few days I cut out all caffeine because I know that it can negatively impact anxiety. I turned into a bloody mess because I didn't realize how much it focused me. I was becoming even more anxious without the caffeine to sharpen my thinking. I'm taking a prenatal (still nursing), fish oil, and cal/mag. Rescue Remedy to take the edge off or Sweet Chesnut when I'm completely out of my mind and there you go.

sigh:: I guess you just have to strike a balance, YK?


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

tell me more about the sweet chestnut?

Oh, sometimes I take Calms Forte', too.

Yeha that about striking a balance- let me know when you've figured out how!







:


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## ~Boudicca~ (Sep 7, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
tell me more about the sweet chestnut?

Oh, sometimes I take Calms Forte', too.

Yeha that about striking a balance- let me know when you've figured out how!







:

Well the bottle says:

Oh for the love of god. I just got up to get the bottle and its not where I thought I put it. I'll be back.


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *honeydee* 
Oh for the love of god. I just got up to get the bottle and its not where I thought I put it. I'll be back.











That was hilarious. I almost peed myself.








:


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## ~Boudicca~ (Sep 7, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 









That was hilarious. I almost peed myself.








:

Oh good, I'm glad someone else thought that was funny because I laughed too. And I still can't find the freaking bottle.


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## PrennaMama (Oct 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
Oh- and caffeine. I consider that medicine.









I am a full-blown caffeine addict... at least 2 cups a day, often 4 or more shots of espresso. It's a total leveller for me. Speed used to level me out back in the young party days, too... doc says it's very common for people with ADHD to have a-typical reactions to things that speed "normals" up.







:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *honeydee* 
Oh good, I'm glad someone else thought that was funny because I laughed too. And I still can't find the freaking bottle.









: You ladies are really funny! I love this thread, I feel so normal whenever I come over here!


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *honeydee* 
Oh good, I'm glad someone else thought that was funny because I laughed too. And I still can't find the freaking bottle.











oh. man!







:


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
maggirayne- how are you? how's pg?

I hate morning sickness. I'm not telling my mom until Christmas, but she suspects. At least she's quit asking. We were gone for a long weekend, DH got a deer, so fresh sirloin for lunch







: when I get off my duff and lay DD down.

We've all three had a nasty cough.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PrennaMama* 
Hi Ladies!

So some things I'd love to hear your input on:

Dh and I had a total comin to Jesus over his ADHD/Anxiety/Depression and he elected to go to counseling and get meds. He has had raving success with Celexa. BUT it's possibly causing some sexual side-effects. There are some other issues we're going thru too, marital issues, that all seem to tie back into his matrix of imbalance and his meds......... Some days he blames stuff on the imbalances, some days on his meds, some days on ME. I know that some of what he deals with when he's cycling can make it difficult to be accountable for his behavior, and some of it has the potential to cause disasterous behavior...

However, I also deal with some of the same issues, and have been accused of copping out when I refer to having a bad day with my ADHD. I'm tired of hearing the litany of excuses for his stuff, and having no lattitude in explaining some of my own "bad days"...... kwim?

I am considering going on AdderallXR. I am in school full time and the classes are getting really difficult to wrap my tired out mother-brain around, and ADHD has been really getting in there and messing me up. (Even now, as I _type_ this, I should be working on _two_ papers that are _both_ due tomorrow!) Ugh!!

I would love to have access to a counselor, but we've not got the insruance for it... Dh's MIL step-mother will pay for him to get counseling, but he only went enough times to get drugs, and doesn't see much value in returning in order to actually process some of the traumas etc he has endured. I (as a future clinician) see little value to drugs alone. He doesn't. Ok, that's his bent - the meds are enough. You can lead a horse to water... But he wants me to get on meds now, and is kinda pushy about it. When I halfway agree, then he says "Well, I don't know if you _need_ them... "

And frankly, if I find a means to be re-assessed and prescribed meds myself, I would feel awkward not combining it with therapy...

Thoughts?

Anyone seeing a therapist/on meds, just on meds, just seeing a therapist, or none of these and just coping? (Like me... only probably better than me!







)

See if you can get a counselor thru a grad program that needs hours for like an internship or something. They wouldn't have a lot of experience, but better than nothing, possibly. Or call local counseling places and see if they have a sliding fee scale. It sounds like you both would benefit from boundary-setting/marriage/relationship counseling, perhaps.

ITA not taking meds unless in counseling concurrently.

I take a prenatal and Fish oil.  We got a better one that doesn't make me burp. So I don't really treat my ADD.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *honeydee* 
Well the bottle says:

Oh for the love of god. I just got up to get the bottle and its not where I thought I put it. I'll be back.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *honeydee* 
Oh good, I'm glad someone else thought that was funny because I laughed too. And I still can't find the freaking bottle.

I am cracking up, you sound just like me!







:


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Maggirayne- You know if you freeze venison, it travels pretty well through the mail. . . . .







:







:

I hope all of you feel better soon!


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Aww, did I make you hungry? Elisabeth loves the vension.

Too bad you're not down in KY, my dad says this year you can shoot as many does as you want.







drop They don't have a freezer, so I don't know what they'll do if he gets one.

Does your DH hunt? How's the job stuff going?

I fried some of the sirloin up for lunch, it was good. It's tastes stronger than usual, but that's me. I'll be so glad when things taste normal. I don't recall this happening with last pg, but then it was funny-tasting when we ate Chinese.

Hey, I just noticed, you've been an MDCer for a year!







:


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

hey that's right!!! How about that!

No, DH doesn't hunt, you have no idea how funny that idea is. I'd be the hunter, but you'd find me frozen solid to the log I was sitting on, because I'd get distracted, and freeze to death!









My dad and my mom and my grandmother, and my aunt all hunt. well, it's mostly my aunt anymore.







We'd spend a week each winter up in Sullivan county PA in a trailor in the woods, and they'd all go hunting!

For some reason when I was PG the first time, baking chicken was enough to send me out of the house, literally. I still don't khnow why!


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

It's differnt hunting out east than it is here. Here on the plains you walk and peek over hills. Back east, yeah, you sit in the tree stand or on a log. My dad built a deer hut that he could move with the tractor. The neighbors called it Billy's outhouse. It was a little bigger, but the outline was just like an outhouse.









Yeah, raw meat and eggs ick me out. I did make very good gravy today. DH (







) cut the meat up and floured it and started it frying. It did smell good. The foods I ate last time are really gross to me too now. I still can't stand candied ginger.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

The trailor in Sullivan county had an outhouse too!

Can I just say that in the last three days I have had a thought, and immediately lost it, about 57 times? I mean, 'oh, Hon, guess what?- crap, now I can't remember.' And I stand there with my mouth hanging open because I can't beleive I lost it that fast.







:

AND- Int the course of conversations over the past weeks, I KNOW I have been listening to someone talk, and think an answer but don't say it! Leaving me looking I'm sure like I either A. wasn't listening, or B. don't care. BLEH!!!

I want my brain back!


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Yick. It's pouring in my part of the country, and I CAN.NOT.FOCUS.

I'm just done today. Period. Maybe when it gets dark, I'll be better. Anyone find they work better in the dark and are USELESS when it's light out?


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Hmmph. this 'day' has been darker than it was light! Bleh.

Yeah, I'm pretty much done. It's nearly 4 oclock, and my older ds has yet to go down for a nap.







What does that say about my day?

If I had time/space, and no 2 yo's I'd have lit a million candles today. It would have been so cheerful.

Maybe I can get DH to include a candle budget due to mental health concerns?








Smee.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Aww, I wish you all could hang out with me. It was sunny here today. A lot of our snow melted. Hey, are you two close to each other at all? Sme, are you in PA? Hanging out in Lancaster?

Ugh, he's one of those kids who needs a nap? Elisabeth has been taking a nap between 11-12 and then at like 6 pm. I don't know what's up, unless she's having a growth spurt, which she is 18 mos, soooo.

I used to be such a night owl. But now I'm no good after 10 pm. I stayed up trying to research Mamajackets. I want one, I think. I would love a snazzy, sharp-looking red wool coat. Heh, between babies and nursing? Who am I kidding? When would I wear it?

Sooo, I'm drooling over a Mamajacket and trying to get DH to go in w/ILs and combine my birthday and Christmas. They are terribly expensive. . .considering the wool coat I typically wear, which is a large and works over a baby, but not a toddler, I got at a thrift store three years ago for, oh, 2-3 bucks, yeah, I'm pretty frugal.

I need to run a load of diapers or I'm going to be in trouble. Well, not too much, I do have fitteds, but I don't use them as much as the prefolds in the Fuzzibunz. I put her in fleece pants over them, which works.

I did unload and load the dishwasher. And even washed the dishes that didn't fit/go in. And I made adult macaroni and cheese. It's from my 29 minute Pampered Chef book and is one of my favourite recipes. DH likes it too. And Elisabeth loves it. It's been a while since I made it.


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Yup, I'm in Lancaster, PA. The rain has turned into a foggy mist.

I was more productive today than I thought. Ate my way through a Sisterhood banquet at the synagogue (mmm.... roast beef







) and now I'm going to plan my weekend lesson plans, I think.

Maggi, sounds like you did a LOT today! Wow!

I'm going to make myself a Mamaponcho, but sewn. Eventually. When I get to it.







:


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

subbing. I think i have bipolar but I want to read further bc so man of these symptoms are me!


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Hi transformed, heh, join the club, we have lots of fun here!
Just a short description:







:














:







:







:







:














:














:













































































:























We'll help you brainstorm







, and try to stay on track







and commiserate when you don't







, or listen sympathetically when you lose your keys (for the 500th time) and so forth and so on.

And we'll be excited when you get 1, 2 or *gasp* 3 things done in a day.























I hope you all don't mind, I like poking fun at myself.
Yeah, for me, I did get a lot done.









Okay, I know I'm a nut. I tell you, these evenings when DH is gone get looong! I should be writing for NaNo. Yeah right.


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## studentmama (Jan 30, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *socialworkmamma* 
Yeah, I'm totally here. Classic tale of people-pleasing girl with ADD who learned to cope, sort of. Since I was not running around, teachers would never think there was a problem, I just daydreamed a lot. Thankfully,(I guess), smart enough to compensate. Also I had older, AP parents who loved and accepted me as is, and then a great supportive DH who does the same. I've never been medicated and at this point in time don't think I ever will be. I'm a clinical social worker and have been given several scales, which all say I have ADD. I think the part that bugs me the most is feeling such a disconnect from other women. It's hard for me to maintain friendships, I just don't really have the ability to organize my time to allow for working part-time and being the kind of Mom I am and then adding female friendship into the mix. I also think part of it is the part of the country I live in seems to have female friendship revolve around activities I don't think of as ADD friendly, if that makes sense. I tried to scrapbook, and would still like to, but by the time I would find what I wanted, my time for it was past. Also I would hyperfocus on something, time would pass and nothing would be done. I also think lots of women are not real cool with coming to a house where there is laundry on the couch and lots of unfinished projects. Then again maybe it's my own "shame" issue with feeling like I don't measure up in the "womanly" arts of housekeeping, etc. None of this is stuff my DH puts on me, it's how I feel about myself. Being a mother has been very healing for me on many levels. I feel like I'm a really, sensitive, loving and nurturing mother, so therfore I must be a "good woman".
Yeah, this tended to ramble, imagine that, but would love to hear from other's on how the condition impacts their self-esteem in today's society with all the expectations of looking great, being organized, a perfect mother, lots of friends, a hot lover, and on and on.

Tyou for writing my post for me







Gosh knows I might see some shiny piece of metal and get disctracted. Back to finish reading the thread, which I had know idea was here, and yeah, having ADD can make a girl feel lonely. I feel like a space case most of the time.


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## studentmama (Jan 30, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SiouxSweet* 
Yes, this is me. I am unmedicated. Research now shows that ADD, and Tourette's are on the autism spectrum. Who knows exactly what I am, other than I have annoying sensory issues, and ADHD -- including being a former adrenaline junkie.

Things that help: A huge wall calendar. No clutter. Low volume television,Magnesium. Gluten free Diet
Doing laundry every day. Exercise. Clean house. And for some reason, drinking tons of water helps with anxiety. If I have important things to remember, I email myself, then put it on my big wall calendar -- no joke it is a large thing with dry erase. I color code kids' activities.

I also keep a simple, small purse, and have a hook to hang my keys on.
I make meals ahead and write them all out, including what snacks I have in the house, and post them on the fridge. Then I just follow the lists.

Things that don't help: being nagged for forgetting things, and a planner to write things in ( I lose the planner). It kinda sucks hating the way clothes feel, not being able to hear if I am looking, not being able to process what I see when I am listening, forgetting constantly, but I am always trying to improve my organization.

These are some awesome recs! Interesting about magnesium. I have been really feeling like I need to take it. My muscles have been really bugging me too, and it always helps with that. Got to get some more.


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## studentmama (Jan 30, 2004)

Only that would work on this thread, after two posts.









I kind of knew something was up in middle school and highschool. I read an article about it in a magazine and went O.M.G. they are describing me.

My parents were also in the middle of marriage counseling and so of course after I brought it up to them, they brought me in, the therapist blew it off as all the rage, and I am sure he thought I was stressed about my parents marriage.

Fast forward to the beginning of college, I was having a hard time, experimenting with drugs, going out with a crazy boy, ended up in the hopsital, except this time when they did the interview it clicked in someones head that I had ADD(part of it was my reaction to lsd I had tried).

So I got a second opinion, passed with flying colors, and put on wellbutrin. Didn't really work, tried ritalin and that made me feel so nasty I only tried it a couple of times.

I have pretty much been dealing with it by diet, caffeine and I take fish oil(when I remember) and b vit(when I rememeber. I also keep myself insanely busy.

I used to be a SAHM and went to school, now I own my own business, which works in a lot of ways, and not so much in others.

The biggest challeneges I think I face are with the house(shaking my fist, damn I hate cleaning my house) and getting the administrative aspects of my biz under control.

The brain fog is horrible sometimes, but lately I have been in a routine where I take my fish oil a couple weeks in a row, I feel great, forget to take the fish oil, start feeling crazy again, start taking it again, if only I could just remember to take it every. single. day. Why is that so hard???? I think a good b vit and zinc would help me too(along with the mention of mag).

As for keeping myself busy. It's almost as if I need a part of my brain disctracted in order to function with everyday life. So lately it was teh election, that's over, I am thinking maybe get my guitar restrung, because I really need to focus for the business, and I need that distraction. Just thinking out loud here.

I think I really need to commit to exercise too. I know that would help so much. I have a friend I can go to the Y with, but no money for that right now. I need some kind of exercise situation that I can do without the kids. Maybe I need to find a walking partner. Anyway, rambling away here, it is so nice to meet you all! It's wonderful to commiserate and see that I am not alone.


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## Pumpkincat (Jul 11, 2008)

I hear a lot about diet, herbs and naturally managing ADHD. I am apprehensive about taking herbs that have not been researched, but am interested in learning more. I do not want to take anything that might harm me, or my son whom I am breastfeeding. Also, money is tight, so i want to invest in things that are proven benefical.

I was wondering what you ladies are doing who mention that they deal with their symptoms through diet. I know all the omegas are helpful. How can i make a plan like this work?

Are there any books I can get that are written by reliable authors?

I have a very hard time with ADHD and depression. My children and my spouse all have issues that could be encompassed under this umbrella.

Peace and sanity are so important to me, but it is so hard to acheive in an ADHD family, especially when that family lives in a region that does not have services that address their issues.


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

the feingold diet.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

studentmama, what if you get one of those weekly or monthly pill containers? I take my fish oil only because DH sets it out for me every day.
One like this? Heh, the only thing is, my DD loves vitamins and wants mine. Gah!


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Yeah- DH sets out my vitamins for mesometimes too, especially if I tell him I've forgottent hem several days in a row. It actually came down to, when I was PG with DS1, he puta sticky note on the coffeemaker (







) and I'd forget even so!
Let me also add that this is the EXACT reason I refuse to try to use BC pills!









Maggirayne- I nearly died when I saw your post! I think this is the only thread where a huge lineup of smileys is NOT irritating!







Yaya for you for getting so much done. I'm washing a load of diapers for the third time today!







: Oh well.

Studentmama- a big







to you! (teeheehee) I'm glad you got diagnosed! I'm another Ritalin failure!







Wow did that make me wakko!

Transformed- Hi! Adult add is often misdiagnosed as bipolar dosorder, and the other way 'round, too. Welcome to our treehouse! Oh, tell us more about feingold? I hear alot about it.

Pumkincat- Hi! A good book was, 'Healing Anxiety with Herbs' It's not so much that noone's researched the herbs, it's that all the research has been done outside the US, and is therefore invalid as far as the FDA ia concerned! And my midwives approved Valerian root during PG and nursing!







The other ones scare me though, like St. John's Wort.









Seisnotapirate- Like the knitted poncho I was going to make, and the babylegs, and the sleeper outfit, and the scarf, and the. . .


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maggirayne* 
or listen sympathetically when you lose your keys (for the 500th time) and so forth and so on.

And we'll be excited when you get 1, 2 or *gasp* 3 things done in a day.























hmmm....you are speaking my language.









So is there a possibility of living in a nice clean house with dinner on the table with ADHD? Can you develop the skills to accomplish things like that?

I have a therepy appt today and who knows what they will come up with. I have bipolar symptoms also so







:


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Hmm, if I could get rid of most of my stuff, probably.

I'm working on keeping the kitchen table clear so we can eat. I think someone said on here, if you can finish it in less than two minutes, do it instead of putting it off.

Hehe, washing the leftover dishes that didn't fit, I needed my cutting board clean and realized if I was gonna squirt soap on it, I might as well squirt soap in the sink and do all of the dishes(a pan, my Vitamix and thumper and a mixing bowl). I get in my head that things are harder or take longer than they really do.

Now that DD is big enough to help, it is a little easier. She unloaded most of the washer, the wet diapers from yesterday, and they waiting to go down the hall(we're in an apt, have a washer, no dryer) and then she handed me the stuff to hang on the drying rack. She played in the sink next to me, which helped and I got the bacon cut up for the grownup macaroni.

Now if only I'd go lay her down and eat lunch and clean the living room, I'd be on quite a roll. Mostly toys and 3 baskets of mostly folded clean clothes. And put the chairs back, we made a tent for DD. Argh, I gotta pack and shower for this weekend. I should get my deer tomorrow am, so we get it processed and can go visit friends next weekend. So my list got huge on me. And I got stew meat I want to make deer stew out of. If she'll lay down. . . I can chop potatoes, onion and carrots and hopefully find some celery. I never use up celery. I'm getting hungry. There is my macaroni.

I read about someone doing bits of dinner prep throughout the day, cutting up stuff.


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
Seisnotapirate- Like the knitted poncho I was going to make, and the babylegs, and the sleeper outfit, and the scarf, and the. . .









Exaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaactly.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 
So is there a possibility of living in a nice clean house with dinner on the table with ADHD? Can you develop the skills to accomplish things like that?

Yes.

But not a traditional house, not traditionally clean, and not a traditional dinner.









Ok, Heidi can vouch for me - my house is _pretty_ clean. Here's my trick. We live in 900 square feet, so it's MUCH easier to maintain. I go on manic declutterings all the time. We have less stuff in our house now than when I was in college. I got a Roomba vacuum, and DS and the animals and I chase it around the house to let off energy (can you see the mental image?














. I only clean the bathroom when I'm using it (I clean the shower while I'm in the shower) or right before someone is coming over (quick wipe of the sink and toilet). We got black "marble" linoleum in the kitchen so you can't see the dirt.

As for dinner, I married a man who can cook. Also, if that's not a possibility







you can always cook double when you DO cook, so you have leftovers to freeze and pull out later.

Maggi, LOVE the post with the smilies. Hilarious.

Whoever was talking about the exercise - yeek, I totally need to exercise more. Fer sher.


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

I cant roomba because my issue is stuff all over the floor! LOL. We just moved from 1500 sq feet to 800 though so I have an excuse ( but I didnt have one in my 1500 sq ft house!)

I never get the house picked up enough to clean it. kwim?

My dh makes hotdogs in croissants once a week.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Sigh, DD is half awake, still nursing.

I don't vacuum, DH does, and makes pizza on Saturdays. I always make enough for leftovers. I hate recipes for meals for just two people. What a waste of time.









My sink needs seious help. I keep it fairly clear, for me, but I hate looking at it when I spit brushing my teeth. I dunno, DH just never does much in the bathroom. I hate pottying DD right now. That makes me gag. I need to get something to put dirty diapers in beside tossing them in the tub. When I was pg with DD neither of us scrubbed the toilet the whole time. Ick.

Thank you, I was picturing the things we do and had fun.

Yum, hotdogs in croissants.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maggirayne* 
Hmm, if I could get rid of most of my stuff, probably.

I'm working on keeping the kitchen table clear so we can eat.

I get in my head that things are harder or take longer than they really do.

If she'll lay down. . . I can chop potatoes, onion and carrots and hopefully find some celery.

I read about someone doing bits of dinner prep throughout the day, cutting up stuff.









Yes to all this! Maybe your DD can carry the trimmings/peels to the trash can? My DS likes to do that. His favorite is eggshells! I do a lot of my dinner prep that way too!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 
Yes.

But not a traditional house, not traditionally clean, and not a traditional dinner.









Ok, Heidi can vouch for me - my house is _pretty_ clean. Here's my trick. We live in 900 square feet, so it's MUCH easier to maintain. I go on manic declutterings all the time.

you can always cook double when you DO cook, so you have leftovers to freeze and pull out later.

Maggi, LOVE the post with the smilies. Hilarious.


No, not a traditional clean- but a creative version of clean, yes.

I can vouch for Sara- but I don't know if she can Vouch for ME, because I have no sense of perspective, so I don't know what the house actually LOOKS like!







I do the massive declutterings all the time too, but stuff builds up faster than I can declutter.









Cook double or just cook a few servings extra, so you at least have somethiong to eat for lunch the next day!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 

I never get the house picked up enough to clean it. kwim?

My dh makes hotdogs in croissants once a week.
















Yeah that's my challenge too. I don't mind vacuuming, if I could only find the floor!









My DH can cook a few things- but even waffles take half the day. . .









OK, breif respite over, DS1 is up, and hje's already erased my post three times, and wriotten on me in blue marker. Sigh.


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Lets say you just moved your family 3000 miles from friends and family and the house is a total wreck (like almost every inch of the floor covered with crap) and all 5 family members have lice - the worst of which is 3 yr old dd who shrieks like a banshee at the sight of a hairbrush. (And you need to lice comb everyone's hair pretty often.)

Not even mentioning the depression that is going on.




























Just curious how you would approach that. I think I am going to do nothing and have my mom save me in 5 days when she gets here to visit.

but say, you were on.your.own.

(well or with a dp with untreated adhd)


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Ummm... shave heads?


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

yup-shave heads-

another good reason to give away some of the contents of my house.


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

would you really shave heads? (A 3 yr old and 12 mo old girl?)

Man I have been working Hard to grow my hair out. Totally not shaving my head.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

WE had lice three times in a row as kids- eventually we got pixie cuts.









But seriously, in India, they shave a girl baby's head at 9 mos. . . not sure why.









Gosh, I remember what seemed like eons of sitting in the sun while mom combed through our hair looking for nits.







She just threw all our stuffed animals, pillows, blankets, anything that couldn't be washed, in the dryer, and boiled all our hairbrushes.

How's the puke thing going?


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

we are done puking, I think.







:

today dh is home too so that helps.

I went to bed at 7 last night.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

I actually got to bed at 9! Pure luxury! for some reason my baby seemed particularly snuggly last night!

I think I've got a plugged duct.









G'mornin' everyone. :yawning: I just drank half my coffee before I realised I hadn't put any sugar in it.


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

I just got over a plugged duct! Someone told me to put a castor oil compress on it once and it worked really well!

Or just the usual stuff like nursing all the time.










Ooooh, I actually forgot about coffee! Going to make some now.







:


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

half a pot later. . .









teeheehe, not really.

nak


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

I just made cold brew coffee, and I love it!

Decaf only around here, though. Caffeine makes me jittery.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Anybody accomplishing anything today?

I have:

*done diapers and covers
*fed the baby 25times
*fed Henry breakfast, snack and lunch
*put both boys down for a nap
*am currently eating lunch

This is only a small portion of what I actually should try to get done today, but I'm pooped. Hey, at least I've got the important stuff under control, right?!


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## ~Boudicca~ (Sep 7, 2005)

Yard work!







Thank god.

Nice job on getting stuff done, Heidi!


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## studentmama (Jan 30, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 
Lets say you just moved your family 3000 miles from friends and family and the house is a total wreck (like almost every inch of the floor covered with crap) and all 5 family members have lice - the worst of which is 3 yr old dd who shrieks like a banshee at the sight of a hairbrush. (And you need to lice comb everyone's hair pretty often.)

Not even mentioning the depression that is going on.




























Just curious how you would approach that. I think I am going to do nothing and have my mom save me in 5 days when she gets here to visit.

but say, you were on.your.own.

(well or with a dp with untreated adhd)

What about a mayonaise concoction at night, get all the hair gooped up and were a shower cap to bed?

I so would not be cutting my hair either. Lice is the worst!

Could you just bag the clothes and bedding up in garbage bags until she gets here? Then you would have extra hands to help with all the laundry.

Maybe the same with the toys?

One thing I do when the floor gets like that is I get my rake or broom, sweep/rake the whole room(in our case the kit/din/living room are all connected) and I start at one end and get everything on the floor in one huge pile, then once I got the pile, I get down and sort through everything(with all my bags/boxes to sort right there), toys/laundry/dishes/garbage/recycling. Oh, and I do this at least two three times a week.


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## studentmama (Jan 30, 2004)

Got some more fish oil yesterday. Lets hope I can remember it everyday now. I can't put it in a weekly pill thing because it's not in pill form. Maybe I need to try and make it routine, like when I have my morning coffee.

I am kind of stressing. I got some classes to teach tomorrow and I am still working on prep. I know they'll be fine, but the anxiety of how they are going to go is driving me crazy.


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

I wasted a whole chicken that I cooked all night in the clow cooker and took out to cool and then forgot about.

And Left my laundry in the shared dryer all day so I hope no one hates me at my apartment. LOL.








:








:








:


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

I got a bit done today. More than I thought.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
I actually got to bed at 9! Pure luxury! for some reason my baby seemed particularly snuggly last night!

I think I've got a plugged duct.









G'mornin' everyone. :yawning: I just drank half my coffee before I realised I hadn't put any sugar in it.
















Wow, you didn't notice? I love my sugar. And milk. And a dash of coffee.

Aww, snuggly is so nice!

Take lecithin, like 3 a day. I was doing the 4 ibruprophen then working hard on hand-expressing after soaking on a bowl of hot as bearable water and getting zilch out, but I really think taking the lecithin is what did it for me.

I forget what else I was going to say.

Oh yeah, Transformed, I second, er, is it third, on the shaving the heads. Unless, is it mayonnaise that you coat it with and saran wrap overnight? I'll ask my friend in the am. At least you can comb your hair, but I suppose you can't see your head.







Or else cut it short enough it's easy to comb out.

Where did you move to/from?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *studentmama* 
Got some more fish oil yesterday. Lets hope I can remember it everyday now. I can't put it in a weekly pill thing because it's not in pill form. Maybe I need to try and make it routine, like when I have my morning coffee.

I am kind of stressing. I got some classes to teach tomorrow and I am still working on prep. I know they'll be fine, but the anxiety of how they are going to go is driving me crazy.

Hm, yeah, maybe set it next to the coffeemaker?
What classes? You can do it! I'll be thinking of you!

Wow, good job, Heidi!
I ran a load of laundry and started to clean the living room. Went to a friend's for supper, since DH was gone.







It was my B-day. And I managed to shower.  Oh yeah, and fed us both. If DH is gone, I miss meals. And now Elisabeth is big enough to eat, gah. I like nursing. You don't have to cook. Well, sorta.


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## RubyFriday (Jul 26, 2008)

Hi everyone







this looks like a place I belong ... I know I have looked at this thread before, but I'm not sure if I replied to it. I haven't been around much so far. But anyway ...

Before I forget ...







I just wanted to jump in about the lice. I'm pretty sure you can get rid of them without resorting to head-shaving or mayo, I'll tell you what I did & it worked, and believe me, if I can do it - *anyone* can do it.

So actually, we had two rounds of it, several years apart. The first time I got totally freaked out, b/c my babysitter wouldn't take my kids after school (not wanting her kids to catch it, which I could totally relate!) and also they could not go to school (although the school didn't look as closely, my babysitter was paranoid due to having had it happen w/her kids before). But I had to go to work. It took like two months to get rid of them. I was using poison shampoos and furniture treatment, left & right (this was a long time ago before I knew any better) I put all the stuffed animals in the garage in big plastic bags, washed all the bedding in hot water and hot dryer every night, eventually took all the clothes and washed them too and put all but a few outfits in plastic bags in the garage, and finally I actually hired someone to take away all my upholstered furniture to the dump because the lice wouldn't go away and I was desperate. I'm not sure if that worked or if it was a coincidence.

More recently, it happened again. Got the call from dd's friend's mom - friend had very recently slept over. Turned out 2 of my kids had them and the other one, soon to follow. Cosleeping with my little guy, I ended up with them too. Briefly I panicked and used the poison shampoo from the pharmacy on dd, but then I saw live lice crawling around in her head after the treatment, they didn't even look sick! (OK - the not looking sick part is a little joke - but people don't always know when I'm joking even IRL so I thought I'd mention it in case) So I came to my senses and got flea combs, one for each person in the family, at the pet supply store. Then every day, just comb, comb, comb, with a cup of water nearby so you have someplace to put the lice & their eggs when they get stuck in the comb, which they will. I used a straight pin to push them out from the comb & into the cup of water. You need a decent light to be able to see the comb well enough to get the eggs off b/c they are little & hard to see.

The first time combing is the worst (the most time consuming, you get the most lice the first time - I guess because every other time you do it, you just did it yesterday) and as for the one who doesn't like having her hair combed, I think you might be able to do it gently while she sleeps, depending ... it worked well with my son, who was very much against having me comb when awake. You can probably do it for yourself too, I managed with a shoulder injury. I didn't even wash the pillow cases every day. Just kept up with the combing every day, until you realize there are no more lice to get, and a little longer to be sure. I hear you can prevent them by putting tea tree oil in the hair, but I never remember to do this, so I can't say for sure.

Got to run, I will come back & say hello again though.


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## RubyFriday (Jul 26, 2008)

Also I know a good homeopathic remedy for mastitis - not that I looked at the date on any of the previous posts, and I hope it's no longer needed.

Phytolacca decandra - helps alot, cost around $7 or so?


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

I have realized something...(first - thx for the lice reccomendation - our lice combs SUCK so we will be making a trip to the pet store today!!!)

So, I dont know if this has anything to do with adhd but I know why I never put anything away! At least a little bit why, I need to SEE everything. One time, at our old house, I had a set of 5 hooks and on it I stored a bunch of towels, extra clothes, wash cloths, etc. It worked FABULOUSLY.

I realized this last night when I saw a set of earplugs on the desk (which I am occasionally using to muffle noise that overstimulates me over here) and I thought "I should set up like a "mommy survival bulliten board" and hang those up on it. I never use the earplugs because in the midst of being overstimulated, I dont think about looking in a drawer.

Does anyone else have to see things to use them?

I have a rediculous memory. I'll ask my dh a question and instantly forget his answer. sometimes I ask the saame question in 10 minutes.

I think thats part of it.

Anyone? Anyone?


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## mamabohl (May 21, 2005)

d'oh, I posted weeks ago and meant to come back and really introduce myself...but then I just kept procrastinating. I always seem to either post a one sentence answer that doesn't anywhere near convey my thoughts or I post a huge run-on one block paragraph that makes no sense and then I get all mad at myself and just delete it and don't post at all.









So anywas...I realized a year or two ago that I must have ADD...I have never been diagnosed. Reading through this thread has been great...some of the things that hit home -

procrastinating
daydreaming
disorganized
forgetful
clumsy
always late (in high school I developeda really great system to combat lateness...but with kids it's so much harder. Every night before bed in high school I would make am mental list of everything I needed to do to get ready, then I would asign a time to each task. I'd add those numbers up, tack on an extra 15 minutes just in case, then subtract that from the time I needed to leave and the answer was my wake-up time. It's so much harder with kids because one day getting them dressed might take 5 minutes, another it might take 20, I can't anticipate if younger ds will pee his pants 5 minutes before we have to leave, I don't know what they'll want for breakfast, etc. Add to that that I'm not getting ready for the same thing every day, so there are different leaving times....sigh)
fidgety
I lose track of conversations right in the middle of them

I know there are more but I can't think of them now. Um let's see...my name is Genie, I've got two sons - Trevor (6.5) and Isaiah (4).

I got really upset a couple of days ago...I really need someone who can sympathize or something but I had no one to talk to. I was hoping I could share it here. I have to figure out how to make it not too confusing. Do you all every feel like that song "nobody likes me?" (the one about eating worms, lol) So about a month ago I went to a mom's night out with some moms from the AP group I'm a member of. It was a blast. At the MNO we talked about planning another similar one soon because we were working on Xmas crafts. So after a couple weeks no one had planned one so I started the planning. I got a lot of feedback and planned it on a weekend that a handful of people had said they could make. Once the actual event was planned no one rsvp'd. no one even replied to say they couldn't make it. Finally 4 days before the event I deleted it from the calendar. That wasn't *so* bad but then add it to this - two weeks ago I went to a relaxed homeschool co-op day that I had planned with a few of the same AP moms. My son (the 6 yo) hurt another child. He was playing and got too rough. He really hurt this other boy. I felt terrible, I talked to my son for a while. I apologized to the boy and his mom, and at the end of the playdate my son got over his embarrasment and apologized too. They had been playing together again by then so I thought feelings had been mended. Well the next co-op day was planned this week and both the mom of the hurt boy and I hadn't replied to the thread yet the day before the event. I had been going back and forth on wether to go. I finally decided I didn't want to try it, I still feel too self concious and worried about my son hurting the other boy. So finally that morning before I posted that we wouldn't be able to make it. Within an hour the other mom posts that she would go. I KNOW these could all be just coincidences etc...but I can't help but think that everyone hates me or finds me annoying or a bad mother or hates my son. So I just cried and cried. I haven't cried like that in a long time. I've been feeling more and more overwhelmed by life lately and I think that just tipped me over.

Ugh, there goes the whole run-on paragraph thing. Sorry. Previously I had never considered getting diagnosed...but now I'm starting to feel like I can't do this anymore, like maybe I should go on meds and get counceling just so I can get enough control to start trying out all the other natural things. I keep reading and reading all these ideas but I just can't impliment them...I have a hard enough time doing the laundry how am I going to take 80 different supplements and cut out foods and eat other foods and get excersize and try this and that.

So sorry to come in and unload all that here. I don't have any friends to talk to.

One last thing I wanted to say, lol. I've been reading The ADD Nutrition Solution and 12 Effective Ways to Help Your ADD/ADHD Child. I've found some interesting stuf in both of them. I'm not sure what to believe in the nutrition one...the author really pushes soy and since I don't think processed soy is healthy at all and I only think traditionally fermented soy is healthy in small quantities (and because both I and my son had soy intolerances as babies) I am learyof trusting anything else she says. There was something really interesting in the 12 ways... book. One chapter talked about incorrect crawling. Has anyone else ever read anything about that? Itwassaying that people who crawled the wrong way or in the wrong order or not for long enough can have some sort of reflex that's not as developed as it's supposed to be (I'm explaining this all wrong, lol...but it's like the startle reflex that babies have...that goes away when it's not needed anymore and so doesthe crawling one...expect when the child doesn't crawl right). Anyways the book was saying that this can affect coordination and attention span and all this stuff. It says that there are these simple crawling excersizes that can be done to cure this problem...they are explained in a book called Stopping Hyperactivity. I found this very interesting because I didthe army crawl, no regular crawl, and my older ds walked 2 weeks before crawling, he crawled with one foot and one knee instead of two knees, and he didn't crawl very long. I'm going to get the book and try the excersizes...they couldn't hurt, right?

ug, I'm sure this is all confusing and there are tons of typos and spelling errors, sorry!


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

hi mama! I've been eating candy this morning.







:


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *studentmama* 
Got some more fish oil yesterday. Lets hope I can remember it everyday now. I can't put it in a weekly pill thing because it's not in pill form. Maybe I need to try and make it routine, like when I have my morning coffee.

For this exact reason I got the orange flavored soft chews from GNC- no nasty fish taste, and it's portable.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 
I wasted a whole chicken that I cooked all night in the clow cooker and took out to cool and then forgot about.

And Left my laundry in the shared dryer all day so I hope no one hates me at my apartment. LOL.








:








:








:

Oh, I hate wasting food! It happens all the time, though. . .







I did manage to use up the entire beef roast I made last week. I ate several lunches out of it, DH made sandwiches for his lunch, and half of it went into a beef lentil stew that is GONE! Probably set a record for only roast ever entirely consumed in the K household!









I too am a member of the 'if I can't see it it doens't exist' club. Which is why, when we clean, I'm constantly saying, "oh, I forgot I HAD this!" and DH is laughing at me. . . Totallyu makes sense!









Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 
I got a bit done today. More than I thought.











Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maggirayne* 
Wow, you didn't notice? I love my sugar. And milk. And a dash of coffee.

Aww, snuggly is so nice!

Take lecithin, like 3 a day.

Oh yeah, Transformed, I second, er, is it third, on the shaving the heads. Unless, is it mayonnaise that you coat it with and saran wrap overnight? I'll ask my friend in the am. At least you can comb your hair, but I suppose you can't see your head.









It was my B-day. And I managed to shower.  Oh yeah, and fed us both. If DH is gone, I miss meals. And now Elisabeth is big enough to eat, gah. I like nursing. You don't have to cook. Well, sorta.

















: Happy birthday!!!







: Glad you got a shower and dinner! I go over to a friend's house for dinner some nights, because her DH works late, and she lives just up the street.

No- I didn't notice! Ehrg whatever. . . I am already taking lecithin 3x a day! I was taking it as a preventative! I;m also taking poke root, which is safe while BF'ing, but says it can irritate your stomach if you take too much. I think it might have been irritating Milo's stomach, because he was really fussyyesterday and this morning.







It is definately inflammed, hot, tender, but Milo seems to be draining it pretty well.







IDK, I just get it so easily, and it doens't make any sense, b/c I eat live culture yogurt every day! I'd give my right arm for a hot bath, but the drain on my tub is broken. oh, and I'm pretty sure I was running a fever yesterday, b/c I was hot andthe boys were cold, and I don't feel that way this morning! Bleh.

I was thinking, *transformed*, what about mustard powder? If you made a paste with it, would it kill the nits? And you can bag up stuff, and as long as it's airtight, I think it should kill them, too. Glad your mom is comeing to rescue you!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RubyFriday* 
Also I know a good homeopathic remedy for mastitis - not that I looked at the date on any of the previous posts, and I hope it's no longer needed.

Phytolacca decandra - helps alot, cost around $7 or so?

If I can't get this under control, I will look for that- qt this point, if I get mastitis, I'm going to get depressed, too. I'm too close to it as is. . .

OK- that's my update. . . off to read the new people posts!


----------



## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

*Ruby Friday*- hi welcome to our world! totally got the joke, btw!









*mamabohl*- don't erase those posts! those are the most fun to read!









first,







I'v btdt. still happens, the 'does everyone hate me?' thing. and I don't know if it's paranoia or not- but many things i've read about add talk about our intuition, so maybe we're right?

and the suppluments thing- it took years for most of us to develop our routines- don't stress! I agree about soy- btw.

the crawling thing- I've read that before, something about crawling organizes the brain. I walked before I crawled, but i think it's because my mom had mein a wheely walker thing from a very early age- and I even whent down the stairs in it! DS1 army crawled, and then regular crawled, and thwen walked on his hands and tiptoes. I called it his spidermonkey walk.

ok- off to ralax a bit! NAK


----------



## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 
Does anyone else have to see things to use them?

I have a rediculous memory. I'll ask my dh a question and instantly forget his answer. sometimes I ask the saame question in 10 minutes.

I try to see everything, But I've got too much stuff.

I do the same thing to my husband.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamabohl* 
So anywas...I realized a year or two ago that I must have ADD...I have never been diagnosed. Reading through this thread has been great...some of the things that hit home -

procrastinating
daydreaming
disorganized
forgetful
clumsy
always late (in high school I developeda really great system to combat lateness...but with kids it's so much harder. Every night before bed in high school I would make am mental list of everything I needed to do to get ready, then I would asign a time to each task. I'd add those numbers up, tack on an extra 15 minutes just in case, then subtract that from the time I needed to leave and the answer was my wake-up time. It's so much harder with kids because one day getting them dressed might take 5 minutes, another it might take 20, I can't anticipate if younger ds will pee his pants 5 minutes before we have to leave, I don't know what they'll want for breakfast, etc. Add to that that I'm not getting ready for the same thing every day, so there are different leaving times....sigh)
fidgety
I lose track of conversations right in the middle of them

I know there are more but I can't think of them now. Um let's see...my name is Genie, I've got two sons - Trevor (6.5) and Isaiah (4).

I got really upset a couple of days ago...I really need someone who can sympathize or something but I had no one to talk to. I was hoping I could share it here. I have to figure out how to make it not too confusing. Do you all every feel like that song "nobody likes me?" (the one about eating worms, lol) So about a month ago I went to a mom's night out with some moms from the AP group I'm a member of. It was a blast. At the MNO we talked about planning another similar one soon because we were working on Xmas crafts. So after a couple weeks no one had planned one so I started the planning. I got a lot of feedback and planned it on a weekend that a handful of people had said they could make. Once the actual event was planned no one rsvp'd. no one even replied to say they couldn't make it. Finally 4 days before the event I deleted it from the calendar. That wasn't *so* bad but then add it to this - two weeks ago I went to a relaxed homeschool co-op day that I had planned with a few of the same AP moms. My son (the 6 yo) hurt another child. He was playing and got too rough. He really hurt this other boy. I felt terrible, I talked to my son for a while. I apologized to the boy and his mom, and at the end of the playdate my son got over his embarrasment and apologized too. They had been playing together again by then so I thought feelings had been mended. Well the next co-op day was planned this week and both the mom of the hurt boy and I hadn't replied to the thread yet the day before the event. I had been going back and forth on wether to go. I finally decided I didn't want to try it, I still feel too self concious and worried about my son hurting the other boy. So finally that morning before I posted that we wouldn't be able to make it. Within an hour the other mom posts that she would go. I KNOW these could all be just coincidences etc...but I can't help but think that everyone hates me or finds me annoying or a bad mother or hates my son. So I just cried and cried. I haven't cried like that in a long time. I've been feeling more and more overwhelmed by life lately and I think that just tipped me over.

Ugh, there goes the whole run-on paragraph thing. Sorry. Previously I had never considered getting diagnosed...but now I'm starting to feel like I can't do this anymore, like maybe I should go on meds and get counceling just so I can get enough control to start trying out all the other natural things. I keep reading and reading all these ideas but I just can't impliment them...I have a hard enough time doing the laundry how am I going to take 80 different supplements and cut out foods and eat other foods and get excersize and try this and that.

So sorry to come in and unload all that here. *I don't have any friends to talk to.*

Hey, novels and run-on paragraphs are welcome here!
This, the bolded is why we're here!

Start with one thing. I get too many things I want to do and I just say, "Ok, I'm gonna eat." And do it. I'm glad if I get one load of laundry in the wash, then in the dryer the next, or the dishwasher unloaded or loaded, they are separate tasks. It's easier for me to break things up in to smaller bits. and information overload, pick out one organizing thing that sounds like it fits you and implement it. Like the FlyLady says, we have to build habits. I don't do any of her stuff, tho'.


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

any success on flylady?


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
For this exact reason I got the orange flavored soft chews from GNC- no nasty fish taste, and it's portable.

Probably set a record for only roast ever entirely consumed in the K household!









I too am a member of the 'if I can't see it it doens't exist' club. Which is why, when we clean, I'm constantly saying, "oh, I forgot I HAD this!" and DH is laughing at me. . . Totallyu makes sense!









It is fun cleaning and finding stuff you forgot you had!









Hmm, I should check that fish oil out! We got oh, I'll look at them, from Walmart, and I don't burp them. ETA: Rexall Omega-3 Fish Oil mercury free.

Yay! I love using up all of leftovers. I made salmon cakes, I love them and forgot some last week. Grr.


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

ahh!

My 11 mo old puked all over herself in the carseat this morning. As we were heading out for a big day of fun at the pet store, dollar store, and a park.

So we are home now, my 6 yr old is PISSED.

And I dont want anyone to puke [email protected]!!!!

Oh and my dh called from work, he is sick too.

I am going to go eat worms.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Ohhh no. Oh man. I am sorry. Is your DH coming home?


----------



## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 
ahh!

My 11 mo old puked all over herself in the carseat this morning. As we were heading out for a big day of fun at the pet store, dollar store, and a park.

So we are home now, my 6 yr old is PISSED.

And I dont want anyone to puke [email protected]!!!!

Oh and my dh called from work, he is sick too.

I am going to go eat worms.


















Oh no!!

I'm glad you were laughing at the end, though, what else can you do? YK?

AAM- Go ME!!!







I sang my older ds to sleep IN his bed, while simultaneously rocking my tiny ds to sleep!!!!







!!!!!!

Then tiny one woke up, nursed, and fell back to sleep Veeerryyyy slooowwwwllllyyyyyy.....

Then just as I was heating up my (nasty canned beef stew) lunch, DS1 wakes up. Put him back down. AM now eating lunch. Whew.







:

Still have not made it to the grocery store. Was going to go yesterday.

I am the victim of my own inertia. Hmph.


----------



## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

So...

What things do you need in stock if there are _5 people in your house puking.
_
I am still well but I thought I should check my stock and do a grocery trip. Just in case.

My dh HAS to have *"campbells condensed soup with a half a can of water."*

But in reality, what do I need around the house?

I have dug out all of the small towels/large towels/blankets, etc. from my laundry mountain.

On my list so far:

Quote:

flowers.
citrus like lemons/oranges
campbels soup. chicken noodle. condensed.







:


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Maybe something soothing in the air, like cinnamon or lavender EO simmering on the stove?

I'm on a cooking craze. We have our Friends' Thanksgiving this weekend, and I'm totally inspired. Thinking about going to the supermarket even though it's getting late, because I don't want to lose this motivation.

Cooking, cooking! Heidi, want anything??


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Oh man, I'm sorry, transgormed. Maybe gatorade or something to replace electrolytes? Jello? And I always do my chkn noodle soup with only half a can of water.









Sara, I would like breakfast, lunch and dinner tomorrow. Just kidding!

We looked at a house and went grocery shopping. I debated getting 2 gallons of milk. We drank about a third of the one gallon as soon we got home. I got King Vitaman cereal. Ah, childhood memories!

I was going to make deer stew, but decided to fry the potatoes with the meat. Got them fairly crispy and fried eggs to go with them. So now I got carrots and leeks cut up for something. Maybe I'll make stew with it all tomorrow, fried potatoes don't warm up too great.


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

The final count:

2 loaves of zucchini bread (one loaf as muffins)
5 meals (2 servings each) of pumpkin soup
5 meals (2 servings each) of corn and sweet potato chowder
2 pie crusts
1.5 gallons of fresh, homemade vegetable stock

a clean kitchen







:

When this load of dishes finishes, I have one more load to start and I'll be done. It took 5 loads of dishes, but it'll be over.

I think it's time for me to retire to bed. I'm beginning to like this Suzy Homemaker stuff.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

wow, *smee*! You sure did accomplish a lot! You can save me a zuchinni muffin for DH!







3:30 AM??







: Not me, not me. . .

*maggirayne*- Put the ptoatoes in the pan and brown them, then add your meat, and more eggs, some onions and peppers. . . oh boy, am I hungry!
oh that's waht you did do! Teehee. . . well, I personally would eat it reheated, but that's me!







:
I love leeks too!

*transformed*- Here's my sick people chicken soup-
Chicken stock- real, bone stock if you have it
Chunks of thigh meat
rice
ginger root
mustard powder
cumin
fresh garlic
celery

peel the ginger root, and crush it as best you can, but leave it in one peice so you can take it out later. Heat it with the chicken stock, adding rice, chicken, spices, celery, and fresh garlic. If you don't have a garlic press, minceit or cruch it as thouroughly as possible. Cook until rice is done.

The ginger and the garlic taste good and it's good for fevers, nausea,sore throats, etc.

Lavendar and peppermint are good to diffuse in the air. In the olden days they'd burn sage in hospitals, but knowing me, I'd start a fire trying that, so stick with EO's!









AAM- I'm making chili today!







I need to go to the grocery store- but it was 20 degrees out this morning, so I thought I'd wait until it warmed up a bit, then I started posting pics on facebook- which I just joined. . . . I 'll have to get moving here sooner or later, I guess!

I need to go find the bunting for Milo, and dress myself and Henry, I guess.

Yesterday when DH came home, Henry was still in his PJ's.







:


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

here- I forgot. . .

http://www.facebook.com/wall.php?id=...06017&ref=name


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Heh, half the time I wear sweats all the time. I love yoga pants.

The potatoes aren't so bad warmed up. We ate at this neat restaurant, www.riversidecafe.us I got Moroccan chicken and Mediterrean quinoa salad and a baked sweet potato. DH got a Chicken Pesto pizza but they didn't bake it long enough and the crust was soggy. He wasn't impressed. I am full, er, was before we went to the library. I should eat and shower, but I want to grumble a little. Hah.

I've got two books 'lost'. Well one is, but the other I am quite sure it was in the bag of books I returned, but it isn't shelved. I've checked the car several times.









And i've got a situation where I've got some responsibility, and I am a bit slack, but I feel picked on by someone who's aware but not directly involved and it just feels passive-aggressive; it's not big, but it's annoying. It's not even anything I can even address. Sigh.


----------



## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Heh, half the time I wear sweats all the time. I love yoga pants.

The potatoes aren't so bad warmed up. We ate at this neat restaurant, www.riversidecafe.us I got Moroccan chicken and Mediterrean quinoa salad and a baked sweet potato. DH got a Chicken Pesto pizza but they didn't bake it long enough and the crust was soggy. He wasn't impressed. I am full, er, was before we went to the library. I should eat and shower, but I want to grumble a little. Hah.

I've got two books 'lost'. Well one is, but the other I am quite sure it was in the bag of books I returned, but it isn't shelved. I've checked the car several times.









And i've got a situation where I've got some responsibility, and I am a bit slack, but I feel picked on by someone who's aware but not directly involved and it just feels passive-aggressive; it's not big, but it's annoying. It's not even anything I can even address. Sigh.


----------



## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

why is it not something you canm address?

re- the library book- that happened to me, and I wentto the children's librarianm, and explained the sitch, and she agreed to look for the book! i tiold her it was possible i'd lost it. but could she humor me. . . she found it!







:

i was glad I stuck up for myself!

nak


----------



## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 

nak

heh. no kidding.









Hi ladies!


----------



## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

DS has been really really fussy since I started giving him rice cereal Monday night. I didn't even give him that much, and I have no idea if it's related, but it feels like I can't get anything done. He won't sleep longer than 20 minutes.








:


----------



## flminivanmama (Nov 21, 2001)

hi mamas







: I found you through a link in another thread







I may or may not go back and read the previous 300 or so posts LOL

I am Andrea - I have ADHD and I have 3 boys, 1 with ADHD, one with ADD, and one with autism. so, um, our hose is a little chaotic & not a lot ever gets accomplished









I love to cook with I see from this page, I am not alone...

I mostly have things under control now, as an adult... but since I had kids I find that slipping away a lot. I make tons and tons of lists because otherwise - forget it - I'd never remember it.

My two boys are on ritalin athough they don't eat much and it doesn't last through out the day... so we may experiment with something else soon.


----------



## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 
heh. no kidding.









Hi ladies!

















What was your first clue?









And how do you know I'm not just having a reallllyy uncoordinated day?







:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 









DS has been really really fussy since I started giving him rice cereal Monday night. I didn't even give him that much, and I have no idea if it's related, but it feels like I can't get anything done. He won't sleep longer than 20 minutes.








:

Hey, girly, if you're giving him the instant stuff, it has wheat starch in it, among otherthings. Check the ingredients, and I'll show you how to make the rice porridge I made for DS1.

hope your day gets better!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flminivanmama* 
hi mamas








: I found you through a link in another thread







I may or may not go back and read the previous 300 or so posts LOL

I am Andrea - I have ADHD and I have 3 boys, 1 with ADHD, one with ADD, and one with autism. so, um, our hose is a little chaotic & not a lot ever gets accomplished









I love to cook with I see from this page, I am not alone...

I mostly have things under control now, as an adult... but since I had kids I find that slipping away a lot. I make tons and tons of lists because otherwise - forget it - I'd never remember it.

My two boys are on ritalin athough they don't eat much and it doesn't last through out the day... so we may experiment with something else soon.


Haha! see it pays for me to lurk on other threads!







Welcome!









let us know how it goes with your boys. . . couldn't tolerate ritalin myself. . .


----------



## flminivanmama (Nov 21, 2001)

thanks Heidi - I almost pressed the back button too LOL. actually I did & it was bugging me so I reopened it & replied.... which I almost NEVER do.









yeah they have been on ritalin for a few years but one of my boys is complaining of stomach aches and no appetite. when it wears off at night and in the morning when he gets up though he eats A LOT....


----------



## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

I have had 3 kids in 5 years (actually there was a child before my 6 yr old, a girl who is 8 and was adopted by a family)

and my brain no longer works. I cannot coordinate all of the constant actiion that comes with kids.

I kind of wonder if the psych will offer me drugs like ritilan. I have no idea what I would say to that.


----------



## ~Boudicca~ (Sep 7, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flminivanmama* 
hi mamas







: I found you through a link in another thread







I may or may not go back and read the previous 300 or so posts LOL

I am Andrea - I have ADHD and I have 3 boys, 1 with ADHD, one with ADD, and one with autism. so, um, our hose is a little chaotic & not a lot ever gets accomplished









I love to cook with I see from this page, I am not alone...

I mostly have things under control now, as an adult... but since I had kids I find that slipping away a lot. I make tons and tons of lists because otherwise - forget it - I'd never remember it.

My two boys are on ritalin athough they don't eat much and it doesn't last through out the day... so we may experiment with something else soon.


----------



## ~Boudicca~ (Sep 7, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 
I have had 3 kids in 5 years (actually there was a child before my 6 yr old, a girl who is 8 and was adopted by a family)

and my brain no longer works. I cannot coordinate all of the constant actiion that comes with kids.

I kind of wonder if the psych will offer me drugs like ritilan. I have no idea what I would say to that.

I can sympathize. My kids derail what little direction I had (have?).

I wonder what Ritilan would be like. It makes me think of an old Desperate Housewives episode where Lynette takes some Ritalin so she can get things done and spends her time in ridiculous hyperfocus, just banging out housework and projects.

So, so tempting...


----------



## mamabohl (May 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
Oh, I hate wasting food! It happens all the time, though. . .







I did manage to use up the entire beef roast I made last week. I ate several lunches out of it, DH made sandwiches for his lunch, and half of it went into a beef lentil stew that is GONE! Probably set a record for only roast ever entirely consumed in the K household!









ug I do this too. I make this chipotle chili that my hubby loves and one time after only two bowls had been eaten I just left the pot out all night and had to throw it all away the next morning.
















Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
I too am a member of the 'if I can't see it it doens't exist' club. Which is why, when we clean, I'm constantly saying, "oh, I forgot I HAD this!" and DH is laughing at me. . . Totallyu makes sense!









me too! I love it when I find money I had put away "so I wouldn't lose it" lol.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 

*mamabohl*- don't erase those posts! those are the most fun to read!









first,







I'v btdt. still happens, the 'does everyone hate me?' thing. and I don't know if it's paranoia or not- but many things i've read about add talk about our intuition, so maybe we're right?

and the suppluments thing- it took years for most of us to develop our routines- don't stress! I agree about soy- btw.

the crawling thing- I've read that before, something about crawling organizes the brain. I walked before I crawled, but i think it's because my mom had mein a wheely walker thing from a very early age- and I even whent down the stairs in it! DS1 army crawled, and then regular crawled, and thwen walked on his hands and tiptoes. I called it his spidermonkey walk.

ok- off to ralax a bit! NAK

Yeah, I feel like I have a good intuition...but then other times I take things way too personally...

As far as the supplement thing - in addition to not knowing what to take (and not being able to remember to take stuff every day) I also don't know what kind to buy! How do you know what the best form of a vit or supp is? I don't want to just grab bottles from the grocery store cuz I'm sure they're all synthetic, but researching seems to overwhelming, lol.

I ordered the Stopping Hyperactivity book from paperbackswap (yay for free books!) and I'm really hopeful that that will help my ds and me.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 
any success on flylady?

I did great with flylady when I was pregnant with my second ds (when I'm pregnant though I tend to nest for a large portion of the pregnancy - I love it!) but once he was born everything crashed cuz all he did was cry and I had to hold him non stop. I've tried to start again a couple times but I don't like the way it's set up. It starts out too slow when I'm all hyped up and then things start coming to fast for me to keep up with them. Plus having to go online to check the emails means I get distracted and check other stuff for "just a few minutes"







. I need lists and I need to be able to see them...I really want a huge 1 week white board calendar thing with big squaresfor each day so I can write menus, to do lists and activities all in each days square. Anybody know where I could find something like that?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 
ahh!

My 11 mo old puked all over herself in the carseat this morning. As we were heading out for a big day of fun at the pet store, dollar store, and a park.

So we are home now, my 6 yr old is PISSED.

And I dont want anyone to puke [email protected]!!!!

Oh and my dh called from work, he is sick too.

I am going to go eat worms.


















Oh no! How's everyone feeling now? I always like lots of garlic and herbal teas when we're sick...not sure what to do about pukeys though.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maggirayne* 

I've got two books 'lost'. Well one is, but the other I am quite sure it was in the bag of books I returned, but it isn't shelved. I've checked the car several times.









And i've got a situation where I've got some responsibility, and I am a bit slack, but I feel picked on by someone who's aware but not directly involved and it just feels passive-aggressive; it's not big, but it's annoying. It's not even anything I can even address. Sigh.

ug, hope you find the books. I don't know how I've never lost a library book yet. I've had quite a few late fees but nothing compared to my mom - she told me they don't go to the library anymore cuz once they had $200 in late fees!! And I thought $4 wa a lot!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 









DS has been really really fussy since I started giving him rice cereal Monday night. I didn't even give him that much, and I have no idea if it's related, but it feels like I can't get anything done. He won't sleep longer than 20 minutes.








:

You know I've read a lot about grains being the hardest thing to digest for humans...maybe veggies or fruit would be better tolerated?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flminivanmama* 
hi mamas







: I found you through a link in another thread







I may or may not go back and read the previous 300 or so posts LOL

I am Andrea - I have ADHD and I have 3 boys, 1 with ADHD, one with ADD, and one with autism. so, um, our hose is a little chaotic & not a lot ever gets accomplished









I love to cook with I see from this page, I am not alone...

I mostly have things under control now, as an adult... but since I had kids I find that slipping away a lot. I make tons and tons of lists because otherwise - forget it - I'd never remember it.

My two boys are on ritalin athough they don't eat much and it doesn't last through out the day... so we may experiment with something else soon.

LOL, sounds like a busy house! One of my brothers has aspergers and of the other three (yes I have 4 brothers...5 actually but one is only my brother by blood - my mom was a surrogate mother for a friend) two have OCD-like behaviors and the other was seems ADD (or ADHD I dunno) to me. And my mom is totally OCD.

AndI know what you're saying about things slipping away with kids, that's totally the way I feel.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *honeydee* 
I can sympathize. My kids derail what little direction I had (have?).

I wonder what Ritilan would be like. It makes me think of an old Desperate Housewives episode where Lynette takes some Ritalin so she can get things done and spends her time in ridiculous hyperfocus, just banging out housework and projects.

So, so tempting...

hm, that does sound tempting...it's like when I was pregnant and nesting and I drank a pepsi (oops)...woah I was nuts.


----------



## mamabohl (May 21, 2005)

Oh I also had a question.. I drink coffee cuz I need the caffiene (as I'm sure you all know, lol).. but I need tons of cream and sugar to enjoy a cup. I don't have a problem with the caffeine but I feel like I shuldn't be having dairy (I'm lactose intolerant and I just feel like modern dairy isn't good anyways) or so much sugar (really, I use about a tablespoon of sucanat for one mug of coffee)...so I had an epiphony! I should just take caffiene pills! But I don't know where to buy them...anyone know?


----------



## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
Hey, girly, if you're giving him the instant stuff, it has wheat starch in it, among otherthings. Check the ingredients, and I'll show you how to make the rice porridge I made for DS1.






























:





















:ran t:

You have GOT to be f-ing kidding me! It doesn't have wheat, but ingredient number 2 in the organic rice cereal is soy.









Can I have that recipe?









I've had it up to here with Doctors. I went to a new doctor for Toby because the last one was giving me crap about non-vaxing, and this one recommends that rice cereal and gives me the line about fruits giving babies a sweet tooth (







because breastmilk isn't sweet, right?), and then starts arguing with me over kashrut.







:

(breathe)

(breathe)

Hey, Andrea!


----------



## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamabohl* 
Oh I also had a question.. I drink coffee cuz I need the caffiene (as I'm sure you all know, lol).. but I need tons of cream and sugar to enjoy a cup. I don't have a problem with the caffeine but I feel like I shuldn't be having dairy (I'm lactose intolerant and I just feel like modern dairy isn't good anyways) or so much sugar (really, I use about a tablespoon of sucanat for one mug of coffee)...so I had an epiphony! I should just take caffiene pills! But I don't know where to buy them...anyone know?

Truck stops?


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## mamabohl (May 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 
Truck stops?


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

What is kashrut? I suppose I could google it. Duh.

Hehe, yeah, truck stops.


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## flminivanmama (Nov 21, 2001)

hi Sara!

I can definitively tell you from personal experience - it doesn't matter what you feed them first. i mean what a ridiculous idea when you think about it. people like the foods they like... babies are no different.

and certainly breastfed babies, research has shown, are less picky - because they get exposed to a wide variety of flavors. of course my three fusspots never got the memo







:

what on earth about kashrut could your doctor find to argue with you about??


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flminivanmama* 
hi Sara!

I can definitively tell you from personal experience - it doesn't matter what you feed them first. i mean what a ridiculous idea when you think about it. people like the foods they like... babies are no different.

and certainly breastfed babies, research has shown, are less picky - because they get exposed to a wide variety of flavors. of course my three fusspots never got the memo







:

what on earth about kashrut could your doctor find to argue with you about??









He asked me why we weren't vaxing, and I said that being Jewish, I'm very conscious of what we put into our bodies. I was going to give more reasons, but he went on this tangent of "well if you had to have a blood transfusion and couldn't ensure that the person kept kosher, would you do it?" and I was like







and I tried to explain to him that since we're not EATING the blood, kashrut doesn't apply. Then he was like, well breastmilk isn't kosher because it wasn't blessed by a rabbi (a lot of people around here think that any food that isn't pork just has to be blessed to be kosher







), so I said that actually all breastmilk is kosher, and he laughed and said "well isn't THAT convenient."










And I was left sitting there, wondering how we got from vaxing to kosher laws in the first place, and wondering how he thought he had a right to make fun of it.

And then he talked about his wife being a missionary to Jews in Ethiopia and really enjoying going to the local Messianic Jewish congregation, so I just kinda turned off.

I think he didn't get how disrespectful he was being, you know?


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## flminivanmama (Nov 21, 2001)




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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 
He asked me why we weren't vaxing, and I said that being Jewish, I'm very conscious of what we put into our bodies. I was going to give more reasons, but he went on this tangent of "well if you had to have a blood transfusion and couldn't ensure that the person kept kosher, would you do it?" and I was like







and I tried to explain to him that since we're not EATING the blood, kashrut doesn't apply. Then he was like, well breastmilk isn't kosher because it wasn't blessed by a rabbi (a lot of people around here think that any food that isn't pork just has to be blessed to be kosher







), so I said that actually all breastmilk is kosher, and he laughed and said "well isn't THAT convenient."










And I was left sitting there, wondering how we got from vaxing to kosher laws in the first place, and wondering how he thought he had a right to make fun of it.

And then he talked about his wife being a missionary to Jews in Ethiopia and really enjoying going to the local Messianic Jewish congregation, so I just kinda turned off.

I think he didn't get how disrespectful he was being, you know?

OMG.









Thats why I dont take my kids to the doctor. Unless they are dying.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Wow, what a jerk.

So even if someone ate pork and gave you her milk it's considered kosher?


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## studentmama (Jan 30, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 




























:





















:ran t:

You have GOT to be f-ing kidding me! It doesn't have wheat, but ingredient number 2 in the organic rice cereal is soy.









Can I have that recipe?









I've had it up to here with Doctors. I went to a new doctor for Toby because the last one was giving me crap about non-vaxing, and this one recommends that rice cereal and gives me the line about fruits giving babies a sweet tooth (







because breastmilk isn't sweet, right?), and then starts arguing with me over kashrut.







:

(breathe)

(breathe)

Hey, Andrea!









Don't feel bad. We went dairy free for my son for almost a year and we couldn't figure out why sometimes it worked for his allergies and other times not. Then I happened to ask the lady at the Greek deli what the difference was between fetas and low and behold, the freaking feta I had been getting(and any feta you buy in the grocery store, unless it specifically states it's goat or sheep, ) is from cows milk. Boy was I upset.

One day I was at a Middle Eastern deli and I asked him if he had any feta that was not made from cows milk, and the poor guy proceeded to lecture me about how feta is NOT from cows milk and then I had to let him in on it. Boy was he upset.

Lunch meat also has some preservative that ahs dairy. It's sure can be hard to eat with allergies.


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Has anyone actually done mayo for lice?

We covered our heads with it last night, and it killed the bugs, but the bugs arent that hard to get anyways - its the damn eggs. I have 3 lice combs and none of them pick up those tiny little eggs.

Does anyone know if the mayo kills the eggs?


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Maggi, here is an article for you about the kosher breastmilk issue.

........and while I was finding that article for you, I found out that breastmilk isn't dairy, it's parve (neutral). Cooooooool.









studentmama, I was dairy-free while pregnant with DS, and dairy seems to be ok with him now - but soy? Yeeeeeeek.

I think he's also getting a tooth.







:


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Thanks! I love learning new stuff.

Not all feta is goat.







drop

Hehe, I have a friend whose family had goats when they were little, she proclaims to hate feta, well , it's not always goat cheese. Not that I can feed her anything with it anyhow, but she's so picky, it will be fun to tease her.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

*mamabohl*= gas stations, too, but if you go to the grocery or drug store, I'm sure you can find No-Doz! or. you coul always eat chocolate covered espresso beans!







I lived on those when I worked in the Mall!







My husband likes theose Monster coffee drinks, too.

*smeisnotapirate*- Some good first foods that are not fruit-
*finely ground meat*, you can moisten it with breastmilk
*Egg YOLKS*- the yolks are not allergenic
*advocado*- not a known allergen full of good fat
*sweet potato or yam*- although if you have problems with potatos, you'd avoid those.
*very well cooked mashed beans*
*plain yogurt*
oh, carrots- forgot those, get the frozen kind and cook well, then mash with a fork.
Good first fruits are bananas. Apples, pears, berries, mangoes, etc are NOT good first foods. Apples and pears contain sorbitol- a natural sugar that is hard to digest, and berries and mangoe and cherries can trigger allergies. Citrus can give babies and toddlers intense screaming red diaper rash- the kind that blisters. So can tomatos, I've seen it, it's scary.

OK- rice porridge- get a bag of whole brown rice flour. Bring a cup of water to a boil, and add the flour by tablespoons until it starts to cook up. It's not instant, you actually have to cook it, but it cooks fast. Stir constantly. Cool, and thin with water or breastmilk. Ds1 loved it, and more importantly, I knew exactly what was in it! Remember, thinner is NOT better, and first foods are for mouth practice, not nutrition. Baby food is one of those easy things that the medical community has made difficult.

*transformed*- I don't think it would kill the eggs. I'd pick something caustic, like citrus, or rosemary, or eucalyptus. Glad it killed the bugs!







I bet you all have really shiny hair now, don't you!


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

*maggirayne*- like mozzarella was originally made with buffalo milk? That's a cool fact.

*Smee*- I just had a brainstorm. . . what do you use to culture Kosher cheese? I'm assuming you caouldn't use actual rennet, right?


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

I am a total spaz and a horrible mommy.


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
*maggirayne*- like mozzarella was originally made with buffalo milk? That's a cool fact.

*Smee*- I just had a brainstorm. . . what do you use to culture Kosher cheese? I'm assuming you caouldn't use actual rennet, right?

Here's an article about culturing kosher cheese.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
I am a total spaz and a horrible mommy.









What happened?

Thanks for the recipes, Heidi!


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## ~Boudicca~ (Sep 7, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
I am a total spaz and a horrible mommy.









nak

oh no! you too? what's wrong?


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Sigh. . .









I laid Milo down for a nap, and I'm sure he was fast asleep. Then I took Henry up, and went to change his diaper, no diapers. Milo wakes up. Get him, put him on Hen's bed so at least he'd be near us. change Hen into a diaper with a semi dirty cover. Sit down with Milo who is now hysterical, cannot get Henry's attention to get him in bed. He was either ignoring me, or actually couldn't hear me, and I lost my temper. I didn't hurt him, but I did scare him, and I scared Milo.

Hen went right to sleep. Milo woke up again- he'd been in my arms. Whisked him downstairs before he could wake Hen back up. Laid him down, thinking I'd been holding him a while and he needed some space. Tried to pick a really nasty pimple on the end of his tiny nosie(it'd been bothering me all day)- and he screamed and it started bleeding everywhere. (at which point, I'm like- "Idiot! Heidi! What were you thinking?")

I took a five minute break. I was actually angry at him for bleeding. He actually calmed down a little , and I got my sling, and put him in it. He was out w/in 5 minutes. I layed him down after a while, and cleaned some.

I'm just scared by how out of control I felt. It wasn't anything big, just three small things, and I couldn't even handle that. Some days I doubt whether I'm really emotionally fit to be a mother, or if I have too many of my own problems, and should have just dealt with them. I _love_ my babies!!! I wouldn't trade being a momma for anything. It's the only worthy thing I've done in my life.

I'm ok now. I realised I am tired, and forgot to take my B vitamins for a few days. . . I function under such a fragile balance, YK? I can't afford to take less than stellar care of myself, and right now I can't afford to take proper care of myself either.









It's taken me 3 hours to get this written and post this.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maggirayne* 
Thanks! I love learning new stuff.

Not all feta is goat.







drop

Hehe, I have a friend whose family had goats when they were little, she proclaims to hate feta, well , it's not always goat cheese. Not that I can feed her anything with it anyhow, but she's so picky, it will be fun to tease her.


Hehheeehehe. . . Sometime I'll tell you a story about Squirrel Pot Pie and a very arrogant prissy woman from our church!


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## ~Boudicca~ (Sep 7, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
Sigh. . .









I laid Milo down for a nap, and I'm sure he was fast asleep. Then I took Henry up, and went to change his diaper, no diapers. Milo wakes up. Get him, put him on Hen's bed so at least he'd be near us. change Hen into a diaper with a semi dirty cover. Sit down with Milo who is now hysterical, cannot get Henry's attention to get him in bed. He was either ignoring me, or actually couldn't hear me, and I lost my temper. I didn't hurt him, but I did scare him, and I scared Milo.

Hen went right to sleep. Milo woke up again- he'd been in my arms. Whisked him downstairs before he could wake Hen back up. Laid him down, thinking I'd been holding him a while and he needed some space. Tried to pick a really nasty pimple on the end of his tiny nosie(it'd been bothering me all day)- and he screamed and it started bleeding everywhere. (at which point, I'm like- "Idiot! Heidi! What were you thinking?")

I took a five minute break. I was actually angry at him for bleeding. He actually calmed down a little , and I got my sling, and put him in it. He was out w/in 5 minutes. I layed him down after a while, and cleaned some.

I'm just scared by how out of control I felt. It wasn't anything big, just three small things, and I couldn't even handle that. Some days I doubt whether I'm really emotionally fit to be a mother, or if I have too many of my own problems, and should have just dealt with them. I _love_ my babies!!! I wouldn't trade being a momma for anything. It's the only worthy thing I've done in my life.

I'm ok now. I realised I am tired, and forgot to take my B vitamins for a few days. . . I function under such a fragile balance, YK? I can't afford to take less than stellar care of myself, and right now I can't afford to take proper care of myself either.









It's taken me 3 hours to get this written and post this.

Oh mama, we all have those days! Sometimes when the little things build up it can make your world seem completely off-kilter. I can totally relate.

One thing that I have found that makes it a little easier is to make sure I tell them I'm sorry for yelling and acting like a fruitcake and to also make sure I forgive myself. Tomorrow is another day, and they will still love you.

I am a less than stellar mom today too







. I am locked in my bedroom folding laundry and dh is downstairs with the kids because I can't even be nice right now.

It's ok, really


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## flminivanmama (Nov 21, 2001)

would it make you feel better or worse if I told you I felt like that a good deal of the time...??


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

heidirk


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *honeydee* 
Oh mama, we all have those days! Sometimes when the little things build up it can make your world seem completely off-kilter. I can totally relate.

One thing that I have found that makes it a little easier is to make sure I tell them I'm sorry for yelling and acting like a fruitcake and to also make sure I forgive myself. Tomorrow is another day, and they will still love you.

I am a less than stellar mom today too







. I am locked in my bedroom folding laundry and dh is downstairs with the kids because I can't even be nice right now.

It's ok, really









You're right. And I did apologise, to both of them. . . forgiving myself will be harder.

I'm sorry your day was rough too.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *flminivanmama* 
would it make you feel better or worse if I told you I felt like that a good deal of the time...??

Better, actually. . . isn't that terrible?









Thanks, *transformed*. How's the lice situation stand? Did your mom ever come to rescue you?


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## flminivanmama (Nov 21, 2001)

LOL misery loves company


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Heidi.


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

I got in a big fight with her (I dont really like my mom







) and did it all myself. The mayo, the vacuuming, the laundry.










I hope the eggs are dead?! There are tons of them my comb doesnt touch them.


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## RubyFriday (Jul 26, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 









I hope the eggs are dead?! There are tons of them my comb doesnt touch them.


It takes a lot to kill those eggs. I hope they are dead, but I wouldn't count on it. Did you try using a flea comb? I have had really good results with that. Now that I'm thinking of it, I don't know if it actually gets the eggs out (can't remember....) but it definitely works...

OK I think it works because when you comb it out every day, after a day or 2 you're catching only the really little lice (took me a while to figure out they don't come out of the egg full grown, they are little tiny black lines first, then a bit bigger). And they never get a chance to grow up & lay eggs, so even if you left all the eggs there, as long as you comb out the baby lice before they can reproduce, they go away.

That is such a difficult time in the meanwhile though. I hope you get rid of them soon!

I never saw this cool smiley before ~~







: I like how the flowers bounce on their stems for a second.


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## RubyFriday (Jul 26, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamabohl* 
d'oh, I posted weeks ago and meant to come back and really introduce myself...but then I just kept procrastinating. I always seem to either post a one sentence answer that doesn't anywhere near convey my thoughts or I post a huge run-on one block paragraph that makes no sense and then I get all mad at myself and just delete it and don't post at all.









So anywas...I realized a year or two ago that I must have ADD...I have never been diagnosed. Reading through this thread has been great...some of the things that hit home -

procrastinating
daydreaming
disorganized
forgetful
clumsy
always late (in high school I developeda really great system to combat lateness...but with kids it's so much harder.

....

fidgety
I lose track of conversations right in the middle of them

.....

Well I could have written most of this especially the first paragraph.

It's actually getting worse recently. Or something... never know what
is really causing anything as there are so many factors at play.


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RubyFriday* 
It takes a lot to kill those eggs. I hope they are dead, but I wouldn't count on it. Did you try using a flea comb? I have had really good results with that. Now that I'm thinking of it, I don't know if it actually gets the eggs out (can't remember....) but it definitely works...

OK I think it works because when you comb it out every day, after a day or 2 you're catching only the really little lice (took me a while to figure out they don't come out of the egg full grown, they are little tiny black lines first, then a bit bigger). And they never get a chance to grow up & lay eggs, so even if you left all the eggs there, as long as you comb out the baby lice before they can reproduce, they go away.

That is such a difficult time in the meanwhile though. I hope you get rid of them soon!

I never saw this cool smiley before ~~







: I like how the flowers bounce on their stems for a second.

oh sweet jesus please no.

I cant find a flea comb. i went to a huge pet store and only chemicals!

they bounce, LMAO.







:


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Ruby,







: about the smiley. I always crack up at the tongue on this one:







:

My body is MESSED UP. Usually it's a chore getting in bed before 2 or 3, but last night I was out by 11. So now I'm up at 5.









I've been playing with my vitamins to see what actually helps, because I've been feeling better. I'm feeling a little more in control of myself and getting more done. Hopefully when my parents come in tomorrow (







) for Thanksgiving, they'll behave themselves and the visit will go well.

Until then, though, I need to be cleaning. It always feels like my mother is doing the white glove test whenever she comes to the house. I said screw it after Toby was born, but especially because of the depression, I want that control this time.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

*transformed*- maybe you could mayo every other day? Kill the baby ones as they hatch? My grocery store has flea combs in its pet secion, I'm pretty sure. And How do I know this? I ask myself, since I have no pets? Just another one of those things that I shouldn't have noticed, but did.







:

*smeisnotapirate*- Here's good vibes for your cleaning frenzy-







:

AAM- those flowers crack me up too. I am going to be a better momma today, I can feel it.







:


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## Roxy81 (Nov 25, 2008)

I am a mom that is very disfunctional if things are not in order! I also have had this sense i was real small. We didnt know what it was called till i was 17. I have gotten worse with it as ive gotten older! The best way i have found to help me is to just find a prayer closet and pray on my bad days! Like today! Im about to loose my mind! My childrens ages are 9 months to 5 yrs! Yes i know 4 babys in 5 yrs time. The first and last was born the same month only about 12 days diff. On your crazy days all i know that works for me is to drop everything and go pray that God will give you peace through your hard times. Im headed to my prayer room now! Lots of love and i pray for peace for you.


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## happythoughts (Aug 10, 2008)

Oh, my friend, you are not alone. How am I supposed to take care of my family when I can barely take care of myself?

I'm pushin' 40, completely ADD. I'm not at all H.
I have DD almost 5, who may very well be ADHD, and DD2, who's 1 and mellow. DH has his own issues, dyslexia, addiction to his band (good guy though).

I'm not medicated, though I have always used crutches. For a while it was boys, then alcohol, and boys, Diet Coke, then I had to ditch the beer when I developed an allergy. I switched to chocolate ice cream. Let me tell you, it can be a crutch. I've mostly traded in the ice cream for yogurt to lose some weight, and it's working. I still want my emotional fix of chocolate ic though.

I can't get the bills paid. Even when there's money in the bank. What is up with that? But there often isn't any money in the bank because I'm to nutty and buy things (little things) impulsively. And I'm the one responsable for the money. Scarey.

I almost failed school, then fared much better in college. The format was different, it worked for me. I'm really much, much better than I used to be. I've learned that one screwdriver, that I always put away, is better than one in every room. I am able to pack my kid's lunch now, she only goes three days a week. That was an adjustment, getting my act together enough to do that.

Okay, I'm going to stop now. You get the picture. Life is frustrating. I'm very creative, and generally optimistic and happy. I'd love to chat about the frustrations of ADD.

: ) C.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Roxy81* 
I am a mom that is very disfunctional if things are not in order! I also have had this sense i was real small. We didnt know what it was called till i was 17. I have gotten worse with it as ive gotten older! The best way i have found to help me is to just find a prayer closet and pray on my bad days! Like today! Im about to loose my mind! My childrens ages are 9 months to 5 yrs! Yes i know 4 babys in 5 yrs time. The first and last was born the same month only about 12 days diff. On your crazy days all i know that works for me is to drop everything and go pray that God will give you peace through your hard times. Im headed to my prayer room now! Lots of love and i pray for peace for you.


weeellllll. . . I only have one closet, and it's full. So I guess I'll just have to keep praying on the go!


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Happythoughts!

You gave me an idea- since most of us have a very creative aspect, why don't we share them?

What special things do you do, like, to keep your hands busy, or otherwise occupy your self when you're jumpy/have nervous energy?

I clean sometimes, to burn energy.
I crochet, and I'm learning to knit
I can fold paper stars
I used to put tiny tiny braids in my hair when I was a teenager, just for something to do.
I paint my toes

I like to learn new things, like alphabets, and I doodle

Which reminds me, DS1 said 'hot noodle' yesterday!









Anybody else?


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## momwithallmyheart (Nov 24, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *socialworkmamma* 
Also I would hyperfocus on something, time would pass and nothing would be done. I also think lots of women are not real cool with coming to a house where there is laundry on the couch and lots of unfinished projects. Then again maybe it's my own "shame" issue with feeling like I don't measure up in the "womanly" arts of housekeeping, etc.


Ohhhh how this so fits me







Unfortunately I have no DH to help and be supportive. I am a divorced Mom working full time and trying to raise 2 daughters and keep up with the house, bills and everything else in life. It is a constant struggle but have to say Adderall helps soooo much. Although after having been on it for the last 8 years or so it doesn't seem to be working at well as it did in the past. I am already at the highest dose that they recommend therefor will be talking to my Dr. about maybe switching to a newer medication and see if I get better results from that.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

*momwithallmyheart*-is adderall a stimulant? I haven't tried concerta, but I've heard good things about it.


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## momwithallmyheart (Nov 24, 2008)

Yes Adderall is a central nervous system stimulant. It affects chemicals in the brain and nerves that contribute to hyperactivity and impulse control. I am not physically hyperactive but my brain is very hyperactive and occasionally have major impulse problems. Impulsiveness isn't an all the time problem seemed to be more when I was stressed or depressed though. My major problem is horrible focus and concentration but with periods of intense hyperfocus where the house could be burning down and I would never know it. Tried Ritalin and it did nothing for me. Was actually on Concerta for a couple years and it did good also but not as well as the Adderall had in the past. After my divorce I no longer had health insurance so I was off meds for about a year and a half but started back up again this past June and since I am paying out of pocket for it the adderall was actually less expensive and since I had such good results in the past the Dr. put me back on it. However is just doesn't seem to be doing as well as it did when I was originally one so will talk with Dr. about switching back to concerta or try one of the new ones out there.


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## Roxy81 (Nov 25, 2008)

Oh gosh i aint getting back on no drugs! I was on em when i was young and it messed me up worse than when im off cause i cant remember to take em anyways!!! ROFL


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *momwithallmyheart* 
Yes Adderall is a central nervous system stimulant. It affects chemicals in the brain and nerves that contribute to hyperactivity and impulse control. I am not physically hyperactive but my brain is very hyperactive and occasionally have major impulse problems. Impulsiveness isn't an all the time problem seemed to be more when I was stressed or depressed though. My major problem is horrible focus and concentration but with periods of intense hyperfocus where the house could be burning down and I would never know it. Tried Ritalin and it did nothing for me. Was actually on Concerta for a couple years and it did good also but not as well as the Adderall had in the past. After my divorce I no longer had health insurance so I was off meds for about a year and a half but started back up again this past June and since I am paying out of pocket for it the adderall was actually less expensive and since I had such good results in the past the Dr. put me back on it. However is just doesn't seem to be doing as well as it did when I was originally one so will talk with Dr. about switching back to concerta or try one of the new ones out there.


Oh, I'm with you on the implusle control problems. . .







: And one time my house almost DID catch fire, and neither my Father or I noticed it! A candle melted out onto the top of a stereo speaker, and the wax caught fire. My dad, who als has ADD, didn't notice and neither did I, for a minute or two anyway. Than I saw it and ran out to the kitchen an popped a hugeglass bowl over the top of it, and the flames went out.

Even when I'm done nursing/having babies, I'll have to do some serious soul searching before trying meds again.


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## sanguine_speed (May 25, 2005)

Hi Mamas,
I just found this thread.

I was diagnosed with ADHD by a learning psychologist (who did a full assessment and also diagnosed a LD) about 4 years ago. I never have tried pharmaceuticals, though he strongly recommended them. I am fortunate to have compensatory gifts (which is also probably why I never received a diagnosis in public school).
With kids, though, it's very hard. I do find myself constantly losing things. Others get confused by my definition of 'losing' something.I have some guidelines about this. If I don't know where something is, it does not mean it's lost. It means I don't know where it is. Other people I know seem to think that if they don't know where something is, it is lost. But not knowing where something is is an every day occurrence here. It's not lost until I can't find it after I've looked for a good week or so. Then I'll start to consider that it might be lost. Can anyone relate to this? Right now I don't know where the second set of car keys are. It's been several days. I still don't think they're lost. I know I just have recrossed the place I was the last time I had them. And I know it's no use trying to remember.
I'm trying to implement more routine and order in our lives, but it's not who I am. It's very hard to do. I also never had any of this growing up, so it's even harder becasue sometimes I can't even imagine what this would look like.

I am very grateful for the "H" of my diagnosis. I can do anything for a short period of time, and do it phenomenally well. I can do a course in 2 days, and often do because by the time I get around to doing it that's all I've got left. And I do the course, and write the exam and do well. Or the paper. Or that whatever assignment. So, so, so grateful for this, as stressful as it is at the time.

I feel like I constantly need stimulation of some kind. I wish I could turn off and 'relax' sometimes. A bath is stressful for me because it's boring and I have things I need to do.
Well that's all for now...the baby is up.


----------



## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

My parents left - and not one disparaging comment about my religion!







:

They were kinda jerks otherwise, but







I'll take what I can get. It was a good visit, all in all.


----------



## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

*smeisnotapirate*- I'm glad they behaved, sort of! How'd the turkey come out? You did like, 2 dry runs, right?

*sanguine*- Hi Hi! Hello and welcome. I know what you mean about doing anything for a very short period of time. The problem is when I have to sustain my performance, take for instance, housekeeping. . .







:

I was told I developed compensatory techniques when I was diagnosed, too. I don't think you can get to 18 w/o developing some, especially when very high standards are required of you at home. I discovered that the emotional cost of bashing my head against walls like that is too high. Some things I can DO, but it takes SO much effort, that it burns me out for everything else, YK?

I've kind of made peace, and decided that if my baseline is 'goofy' and I excell in a few areas, that people will be more likely to accept that than trying to be stellar all the time, and then people wonder what happened when I foul something up grandly, which I do with alarming frequency.

and baths are only relaxing for me if I have the water ashot as I can stand it, a cup of cocoa, or glass of wine, candles, and a good book. In other words, as stimulating a bath as possible!







Oh well......


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Heidi, the turkey ROCKED.









We should do turkey again sometime!







:


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Ha! Maybe later!









I am desperately trying to keep my eyes open, waiting for DH to come home. I CANNOT sleep, not with two kiddos to look after. It's dark and late, and we already ate supper, and I'm ready for bed.

I may have to give Henry his Saturday night bath, just to create some interest around here!









:yawning: I'm going to have to have some coffee, out of self defense. . .


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
Hehheeehehe. . . Sometime I'll tell you a story about Squirrel Pot Pie and a very arrogant prissy woman from our church!









Oooh, sounds entertaining.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flminivanmama* 
would it make you feel better or worse if I told you I felt like that a good deal of the time...??









Heidi. Me too. I've smacked Elisabeth's leg a couple times, and I hate spanking.







I really hate how impatient I've become since being pregnant. Yikes. I was ready to call DH and say come home and help, and he had to take the work truck for an oil change, so he walked in, the store is across the high school football practice field from our apt, I was like, "OMgracious, thank You, Lord, for sending him! Honey, I needed you badly!"
I ran and took a shower, and it helped. You can call me, even if you have screaming kids. I don't mind. I should call someone. I hit the doorframe accidentally, was swinging my hand around angrily and bruised my knuckle so I thought I broke my finger, for a little while.

I should try taking some more supplements. How do you figure out what to take?

Oh, for crafty stuff, I make a skirty, it's gorgeous, and a bunch of babylegs this weekend at IL's.







:


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## PrennaMama (Oct 10, 2005)

Hi ladies, just popping to see how you are,and share news...

I made the leap and have started taking Adderall. I'm about 2 weeks into it so it's definitely on-board.

My stomach has not loved it, so far. I noticed a significant change in my focus right away. I feel slowed down, actually, which I still can't help finding somewhat humorous just because so many people I used to party with back in the day PAID for the stuff so they could get sped up and high. I find myself wondering if the way I feel/focus/etc while on Adderall is how "normals" feel?









Immediately began doing better in the stats class, and felt very _thorough_ during the exam on Tues. Anxious to see how I did.

House is getting cleaner and staying cleaner, and when I notice something needs doing, I just kinda _do_ it and get it done quickly... without the usual inner monologue of "How long will it take? What will I do afterward? What's _this_? Oh, I remember this... I got this at the... that was a fun day... Ooooh! What's _this_? OH YEAH! That was amazing... Do I _need_ this, yeah I might need this later... where should I put it? This is gonna take forever... I give up..." Got dd's closet purged in 90 minutes (3 big boxes and 2 bags of 12 mo-3T clothes she can't wear) and working my way to the office... the mother of ADHD project-focus-impedement.

Dinner is made less...mostly because I have such a sick stomach and no appetite. But THEY get fed!


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

I am kind of irritated right now guys. My dh, who was diagnosed adhd as a child, almost 20 years ago has a family that likes to make him feel ashamed when he doesnt remember a birthday.

Tonight, his mom called him and said 'your dad's waiting up to go to bed waiting for your call I think. (For his birthday)"

Sometimes his sister grudgingly reminds him of someones bday but usually like the day before and not enough time to actually do anything.

I am so pissed that mental illnesses are so inconvenient to people like we are just "lazy." or "uncaring" or"worthless"

I'd love to give his mother (who spent her whole life raising an adhd child and should know better) a piece of my mind.







:


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## PrennaMama (Oct 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 
I am kind of irritated right now guys. My dh, who was diagnosed adhd as a child, almost 20 years ago has a family that likes to make him feel ashamed when he doesnt remember a birthday.

Tonight, his mom called him and said 'your dad's waiting up to go to bed waiting for your call I think. (For his birthday)"

Sometimes his sister grudgingly reminds him of someones bday but usually like the day before and not enough time to actually do anything.

I am so pissed that mental illnesses are so inconvenient to people like we are just "lazy." or "uncaring" or"worthless"

I'd love to give his mother (who spent her whole life raising an adhd child and should know better) a piece of my mind.







:

Dh's family has some of this, too. He has lived under the burden of this passive guilt-trip stuff for 34 years. He has major inadequacy issues as a result of having been cultivated as the "black sheep" who has "so much potential" which I hate hearing because the underlying implication is that he just isn't good enough... he _could be_, if only he would x y z. Ugh.

How do you support him in the face of their fundemental rejection of reality?


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## flminivanmama (Nov 21, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PrennaMama* 
I noticed a significant change in my focus right away. I feel slowed down, actually, which I still can't help finding somewhat humorous just because so many people I used to party with back in the day PAID for the stuff so they could get sped up and high. I find myself wondering if the way I feel/focus/etc while on Adderall is how "normals" feel?









Yes, I think so LOL

this is how I was convinced by a friend who is also a special ed teacher to try it initially - if that's what is needed it will work. immediately. if it isn't, it won't.

in fact, as you noted, it will produce the opposite effect since it *is* a stimulant


----------



## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 
that likes to make him feel ashamed

I am so pissed that mental illnesses are so inconvenient to people like we are just "lazy." or "uncaring" or"worthless"


Yes, exactly this. Although I do have trouble calling myself mentally ill, at least where my ADD is concerned. The depression, and anxiety, I have to be truthful with my self about, and call a spade a spade.

I have had trouble, especially with people I have to be responsible too, labeling me as lazy, or careless. I got careless written on my report card 5 or 6 times every single marking period. It kind of gets seared into your brain after a while, and you stop trying..

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PrennaMama* 
Dh's family has some of this, too. He has lived under the burden of this passive guilt-trip stuff for 34 years. He has major inadequacy issues as a result of having been cultivated as the "black sheep" who has "so much potential" which I hate hearing because the underlying implication is that he just isn't good enough... he _could be_, if only he would x y z. Ugh.

How do you support him in the face of their fundemental rejection of reality?

Yup yup yup. . . My worst enemy is my own potential. It hangs over me like a black cloud and I know I'll never fulfill it. Not in this society anyway.

Here's an interesting quote,

"In my opinion, the ADD brain structure is not truly an abnormality. In fact I beleive a very good case can be made that it is not only normal, though in the minority, but may well be a _superior_ brain structure. However, the talents of the person with ADD brain structure are not those rewarded by our society in it's current stage of development. In other words, the problems of the person with ADD are caused as much by the way we have our society, educational system, and the business methods organised as by other factors more directly related to the ADD itself."

Paul Elliot, M.D. (italics mine)

I know sometimes people have said to me, 'how do you remember all that stuff?'. I don't know, but I remember whatever it is at the expense of remembering where my car keys are, or compulsively buying things like butter, flour, paper towels, etc. . .

AAM- I had a very nice weekend, DH has been home, and we baked cookies on friday at my gram's house.


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

I'm a little stupefied.

Walked out of the house this morning to a Franklin Covey box on my doorstep. Had my name on it, paid in full, FULL of organizing supplies.

No card, no return address, nothin'.










I think it's from an aunt or something for my birthday (later this month), but I'm not sure. I'll have to ask around.

But now I have over $175 worth of planner and organizing material!







:


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

no shaft of light, no angels singing?









Boy am I jealous. To bad a secretary didn't accompany it, huh?


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
no shaft of light, no angels singing?









Boy am I jealous. To bad a secretary didn't accompany it, huh?









I know! No burning bush!









Yup. A PA would be nice. Maybe HE could hold the baby while I go pee, because heaven knows DH doesn't see the point.


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

hey ya'll. I have my first therepy session tomorrow (officially for bi-polar and depression) but I am so excited to set some goals to help me function better.

What do you all wish you could get some tools to improve on?

Who has been dealing with ADHD for a long time and been through professional medical stuff to deal? What's the objective?

I belive there is a chance of me either having adhd and depression, OR bi-polar disorder. I just really really connect with all of ya'll and many many issues here.

As I am observing myself more for adhd like symptoms I am finding so many things from my childhood popping into my mind and thinking "It's so obvious! And it
s ALWAYS been there!"

Wish me luck.


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## flminivanmama (Nov 21, 2001)

mamas - can I ask here... do any of you who have your children on ritilan find they are waking up ridiculously early to eat? I think it has to do with the fact that the meds suppress his appetite but today he fell & broke part of the pantry at 5 am climbing up to get something off the top shelf. he could have been seriously hurt - plus he woke the whole house up...


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 
I know! No burning bush!









Yup. A PA would be nice. Maybe HE could hold the baby while I go pee, because heaven knows DH doesn't see the point.










'no burning bush!'







:

As for your DH- maybe if you wet yourself, he'd take you seriously?









Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 
hey ya'll. I have my first therepy session tomorrow (officially for bi-polar and depression) but I am so excited to set some goals to help me function better.

What do you all wish you could get some tools to improve on?

Who has been dealing with ADHD for a long time and been through professional medical stuff to deal? What's the objective?

I belive there is a chance of me either having adhd and depression, OR bi-polar disorder. I just really really connect with all of ya'll and many many issues here.

As I am observing myself more for adhd like symptoms I am finding so many things from my childhood popping into my mind and thinking "It's so obvious! And it
s ALWAYS been there!"

Wish me luck.










The objective is to control your symptoms, and work with you to develop strategies for functioning in everyday stuff.
Here's prayers for your journey of discovery.







:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flminivanmama* 
mamas - can I ask here... do any of you who have your children on ritilan find they are waking up ridiculously early to eat? I think it has to do with the fact that the meds suppress his appetite but today he fell & broke part of the pantry at 5 am climbing up to get something off the top shelf. he could have been seriously hurt - plus he woke the whole house up...

One of the PP on this thread mentioned something about ADD and chronic low blood sugar, maybe that has something to do with it? I know I would wake up starving in the middle of the night as a teenager, and sometimes it would happen in my sleep. I'd know because in the morning I'd find glasses of chocolate milk hidden in my closet.







I wasn't on any meds at the time.


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## PrennaMama (Oct 10, 2005)

Re: the low blood sugar piece... I have a nasty case of hypoglycemia and have observed that my friends and family with ADHD also have issues with blood sugar. Sometime I wonder if our brains burn through complex sugars/protein faster...

Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 
hey ya'll. I have my first therepy session tomorrow (officially for bi-polar and depression) but I am so excited to set some goals to help me function better.

What do you all wish you could get some tools to improve on?

Who has been dealing with ADHD for a long time and been through professional medical stuff to deal? What's the objective?

I belive there is a chance of me either having adhd and depression, OR bi-polar disorder. I just really really connect with all of ya'll and many many issues here.

As I am observing myself more for adhd like symptoms I am finding so many things from my childhood popping into my mind and thinking "It's so obvious! And it
s ALWAYS been there!"

Wish me luck.









My objectives throughout my life in therapy and self-directed behavior modification have always been the same: to own myself, be accountable, and manage my behavior and feelings in a way that will help my relationships and activities prosper. I HATE feeling out of control, and I feel that way often... I counter it by affirming to myself that I am lovable, kind, talented, intelligent, and capable. Then, if that fails to get over the hump of self-effacement, I reach out for support.


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## mamabohl (May 21, 2005)

well, so much for the caffeine pill idea...it would apear that I'm pregnant.


----------



## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamabohl* 
well, so much for the caffeine pill idea...it would apear that I'm pregnant.
































:


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamabohl* 
well, so much for the caffeine pill idea...it would apear that I'm pregnant.































:


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamabohl* 
well, so much for the caffeine pill idea...it would apear that I'm pregnant.

































Congratulations!!!!!! How far are you?

I'm hypoglycemic as well. Both parents have full-on diabetes, though, so not surprised.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamabohl* 
well, so much for the caffeine pill idea...it would apear that I'm pregnant.























Congratulations!







:


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

:

Found out what the Franklin Covey stuff was. Got an e-mail today from a friend.

Quote:

Sara - did you receive the package for (husband), yet? I saw on their webpage that it should have shipped 11/20. It should have been from Franklin Covey.

Thanks!!! :-D
So I just spent $60 buying a new one calendar pages set (because I'd started using it, assuming it was from my anal-retentive aunt who's always sending me that type of stuff) and getting it overnighted.



















My friend got a good laugh out of it, though. "Maybe I should have asked you about it earlier or told you where the package was from, huh?"


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## flminivanmama (Nov 21, 2001)

Sara - so it was for your dh? are you going to use it now that you bought all these new pages?

congrats mamabohl!


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flminivanmama* 
Sara - so it was for your dh? are you going to use it now that you bought all these new pages?

congrats mamabohl!

No, it was for HER DH. I had to buy a new set of pages (because I'd written on them) and thankfully I hadn't used the briefcase or binder, really.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

totally would have done the same thing.


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## flminivanmama (Nov 21, 2001)

OMG







yeah I would totally do that


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## 1littlebit (Jun 1, 2008)

she had a package sent to you at your house for her husband and forgot to tell you.. is she ADD to? b/c i can see myself doing something like that.... and if someone did that to me... i would have opened it and used to it too! happy package at my door for me... yeppers would have used it lol.. specially franklin covey.. i love that stuff i wish i could afford all their cool stuff.. but i unfortunately i have to make due with my $10 student planner from target and my lord of the rings wall calendar.. both of which have several weeks in a row that are detailed, organized, high lighted etc. followed by several completely blank weeks.. because i forgot to use them.. or lost them


----------



## mamabohl (May 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 









Congratulations!!!!!! How far are you?

I'm hypoglycemic as well. Both parents have full-on diabetes, though, so not surprised.


Thanks, I think I'm 8 or 9 weeks but according to the hospital'c magic circle I'm more like 13 weeks...I have wierd cycles so will probably end up doing a dating ultrasound.

oh, and I have problems with hypoglycemia too. I've learned by experience the best way to eat for me (often and with lots of protien, I generally avoid all carb "meals" like cereal, etc).


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 
No, it was for HER DH. I had to buy a new set of pages (because I'd written on them) and thankfully I hadn't used the briefcase or binder, really.

What!? Why on earth did she have it sent to your house, ohhhh, to surprise her husband?

Geesh, I am sorry.

Hey, talking about creative stuff, I've actually organized and called a group of moms and reserved the room for ceramics painting for kids to make Christmas stuff for grandparents!

I had fun with a friend painting this week, and decided to see if I could get enough people to reserve the room/have the party, and I do!

My dream is to have a set of dishes I'm painted. But I should start saving!


----------



## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *1littlebit* 







she had a package sent to you at your house for her husband and forgot to tell you.. is she ADD to? b/c i can see myself doing something like that.... and if someone did that to me... i would have opened it and used to it too! happy package at my door for me... yeppers would have used it lol.. specially franklin covey.. i love that stuff i wish i could afford all their cool stuff.. but i unfortunately i have to make due with my $10 student planner from target and my lord of the rings wall calendar.. both of which have several weeks in a row that are detailed, organized, high lighted etc. followed by several completely blank weeks.. because i forgot to use them.. or lost them

LOTR wall calendar!







Oh, and I have the organizer with entire months blank, too. Lost it, whatever.







I hear all th time, 'well you should write it down' how do you explain that that doesn't help?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maggirayne* 
What!? Why on earth did she have it sent to your house, ohhhh, to surprise her husband?

Geesh, I am sorry.

Hey, talking about creative stuff, I've actually organized and called a group of moms and reserved the room for ceramics painting for kids to make Christmas stuff for grandparents!

I had fun with a friend painting this week, and decided to see if I could get enough people to reserve the room/have the party, and I do!

My dream is to have a set of dishes I'm painted. But I should start saving!









Let me know how that ceramics party comes out! My dream is to paint a Nativity set. . . It'd probably happen faster if I knit one. . .







:


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Knitting would probably be easier than ceramics with kids running around!


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Heidi, isn't there a pottery place in downtown Lancaster?

*mad Google skills*

There we go! The Pottery Works. I sense a girl's night out............


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Ooohhh!!!!! that'd be a good middle of dark february trip!









I hate february.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

A bead shop and Pottery, cool! Hehe, they have a couple's night.







You don't see many guys in these places.

I do beading too, that would be fun, but not possible with kids at all.


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maggirayne* 
I do beading too, that would be fun, but not possible with kids at all.









:

Oh, man....... the mental image.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

For a while DD was happy with play plastic necklaces this summer while my mom was here. But DH ended up taking her and playing with her. She loves grabbing _everything_, of course.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

having just experienced colored sanding sugar for the first time, I'm sure Henry would eat the tiny beads. . .







: well, he'd eat them once, anyway.

I'm going to try to get some stuff done today. . .here's my list.

Vacuum dining room
make bread
wash diapers and covers
unload and reload dishwasher
call and get a haircut appointment
schedule appointment for pictures

both the boys slept in this morning, but I couldn't get moving. Man I wish I was like some people who bounce out of bed in the morning full of energy.









oh yeah, and that's on top of all the regular stuff likemaking lunch and cleaning up after ourselves, and changing diapers, and pottying Henry, and cleaning up accidents, and lurking on MDC, and. . .


----------



## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
both the boys slept in this morning, but I couldn't get moving. Man I wish I was like some people who bounce out of bed in the morning full of energy.









Those people are insane.


----------



## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 
Those people are insane.

ITA

I woke up at 9, nursed DD and got up because a friend was coming over and had called and left a message. I have no energy and no motivation. But if someone comes to visit and talks to me, I get stuff done. So, my table is partially cleared and the toys are picked up.

I should:
unload the dishwasher
reload " "
run at least one load of laundry
pick up one of the piles in my bedroom (DH is a little worried the apt will be a mess when we have the baby.)
sometime clean off the bathroom counter
blah blah blah


----------



## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 
Those people are insane.









They must be.

I did unload and reload the dishwasher.
The diapers are on their second wash cycle.
I made dinner.
made an appointment for a haircut.

I can still make bread I think.
DH can maybe vacuum for me.

But he wrecked the car tonight on the way home, so he has to go with the tow truck. . . not sure when he'll be back.


----------



## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Oh no, is he okay? What about your car? Eek, that's scary. Someone ran into us at stoplight, going just too fast for the roads, we've got snow. no damage, but scred the bejeebers out of me. Didn't even scare Elisabeth.


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

EEk, Heidi! That's scary. I hope everything's ok. I was thinking of you today, and how you guys should come over for candlelighting during Chanukah. Problem is - it starts the week of Christmas, so I'm not sure what your plans are.


----------



## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

heaves a heavy sigh. . . my life is so freakin' complicated. . .

dh is fine, until i can put the baby down. then i'm gonna kill him.







:

i may also have had too much caffeine today.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

*smee*- i'll getback to you on that.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Heidi!








can I say that the second part is funny? Sigh. Guys sometimes. Caffeine, woohoo! I've been craving Coke. So much for trying eat healthy. Sigh.


----------



## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

I got depakote today ladies. Turns out my ADD/HD may actually be my bipolar II - apparently it has some of the same traits.

They told me even if I was add/hd I couldnt ever medicate for it becauses it would put me in a manic state.

Hopefully medicating my bipolar will give me the skills to enact the Feingold Diet, which I have wanted to do for YEARS but lacked the planning skills to do so.

Anyone done Feingold successfully? (Have I already asked that?


----------



## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

^ you're still welcome to hang out with us!







A friend of mine has bipolar 2. I hope the new meds work well for you!

Well, the car is totalled. So, that just further complicates my already complex existence, because DH will need my car. We are going to try not to get a replacement, b/c we can't really afford to.

So, smee- we could probably all 4 come to candle lighting on a Sunday, or Saturday if it doesn't screw up shabbos for you.


----------



## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
^ you're still welcome to hang out with us!







A friend of mine has bipolar 2. I hope the new meds work well for you!

Well, the car is totalled. So, that just further complicates my already complex existence, because DH will need my car. We are going to try not to get a replacement, b/c we can't really afford to.

So, smee- we could probably all 4 come to candle lighting on a Sunday, or Saturday if it doesn't screw up shabbos for you.

Saturday would be lovely, actually! DH has a service to play on Saturday night, so I'd be lighting candles alone (well, with DS) most likely. We could make dinner out of it. And shabbos is over at sundown, so you can either do havdalah with us at sundown and then dinner and candlelighting, or come later and just do dinner and candles. Up to you.

Sunday, we leave for Florida, so it would have to be Saturday.

Anyone else who is planning to be in the Lancaster area is welcome, as well!


----------



## flminivanmama (Nov 21, 2001)

Heidi - I hope everyone is OK

Transformed I was on fiengold as a child & it did *nothing* for me...

Sara - where in FL??


----------



## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flminivanmama* 
Heidi - I hope everyone is OK

Transformed I was on fiengold as a child & it did *nothing* for me...

Sara - where in FL??









One set is in Naples, the other in Miami, so if you're anywhere on either end of the Tamiami Trail.....................


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## flminivanmama (Nov 21, 2001)

LOL - a little north - I'm in Boca


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

bumpity bump!


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## studentmama (Jan 30, 2004)

Hey mamas,
How's everyone doing during this crazy time? My classes are finally done and I feel like they went pretty good, I feel horribly behind at my business, but I am kind of at peace with the holiday madness. We have almost zero to work with for gifts so that actually simplifies it a lot and my bro is hosting for Christmas so that is a huge thing off my plate.

I have been pretty consistent with the CLO, and I started taking zinc and a b complex everyday so I hope that helps a bit. Somehow I have got to figure out how to get my butt into exercise mode because I know hands down, that is going to be the most helpful.

Hope everyone is hanging in there!


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

I've just gotten up to my 1000 mg of depakote dose, and thats a pretty conservative dose. I feel ind of like some of the fog has lifted, and tasks are feeling a bit more managable.

Then again, that could be me swinging back up into mania again.














Who knows?

This seems like it is going to be a confusing disorder to manage!









(Bi-polar with erie similaritys to adhd)


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## Triniity (Jul 15, 2007)

hello,

i think i have to join









i am not sure though, i am already 34 years old was in therapy for depression, eating disorders and stuff but was never diagnosed with add. just the last couple of weeks I looked kind of into it, but more ´cause I suspected my dh to be add.









than, when i looked into it i kind of found myself.

i am quite successfull, professionally, but a total chaotic at home. if i would not have a cleaning lady ...









i have ideas all the time but end up doing nothing of it







: my best friend always says that she is keeping them and going to make a lot of money of it one day









today is one of these days - i kind of hate my life today. it´s these constant attention needing kids on one hand and being really bored without being able to get out at all all day. it kind of kills me today. the babe is crying all the time, in and out of the ergo - he does not want anything and nothing is right for him today - and dd is bored without playgroup and daycare.

i feel like going shopping or something - but all these christmasshoppers just drive me nuts - i can´t stand being with lot of people ....

i think i am pretty impulsive as well ...

i´ll write more ... but now i have to look after the kids...


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## flminivanmama (Nov 21, 2001)

trinity - welcome!

I love this article http://www.nytimes.com/2007/12/09/fa...r%20own&st=cse

I already knew I was ADHD but it was still helpful to read


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

*transformed*- I'm glad you're feeling better, and I hope it evens out, so you stay a bit more 'up'.









*studentmama*- Great that your classes are done! I hope you did as well as you think!

*triniity*- Welcome! my dad discovered _his_ add when I was diagnosed. He's been one of my staunchest supporters!









AAM- I have to admit, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed by the hiloday. I do feel Christmassy, and have since Thanksgiving, which is good, because I like to celebrate from about then to about Valebntines day! One time my tree actually stayed up that long!

I've baked cookies twice now with my mom and gandmother, but I've been so distracted my the boys, it's been stressful, and I felt guilty because I wanted to enjoy it, and had a hard time being calm. My mom just gets the bit in her teeth and I cannot keep up with her. I apologised tio her, and she said something I can't remember but I think was meant to make me feel better.

well, at least ds1 has memories of baking cookies with his grandma and great gram, which I could not have managed alone. And my house is actually aproaching clean. so I guess we're doing pretty well. . .


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

It's been a few months since I visited here!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 
I got depakote today ladies. Turns out my ADD/HD may actually be my bipolar II - apparently it has some of the same traits.

They told me even if I was add/hd I couldnt ever medicate for it becauses it would put me in a manic state.

*Hopefully medicating my bipolar will give me the skills to enact the Feingold Diet, which I have wanted to do for YEARS but lacked the planning skills to do so.*

Anyone done Feingold successfully? (Have I already asked that?
















I find that profoundly ironic. I've read a bit about the Finegold diet and knew immediately there's no way I could stick to it.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flminivanmama* 
Heidi - I hope everyone is OK

Transformed *I was on fiengold as a child & it did *nothing* for me...*

Sara - where in FL??









That's comforting, actually.

I took depakote for my bipolar II, and had great success with it. It truly changed my life. I mean, it's not like I instantly felt like a cloud lifted and I was happy all the time. But it really helped my brain to slow down enough so that I didn't follow through on some wrong impulses, my driving improved, I got more out of my reading than ever before, I stopped spanking the kids and stopped screaming (as much). I took it for maybe four years and I feel like my brain learned a lot about how it _should_ behave. That doesn't make sense, I know. But it seems like my brain slowed down enough that I could absorb more signals from the outside world, and it seems like my brain was learning.

Anyway, two years ago I changed from depakote to lamictal, and have had success with that, too. But I will forever be grateful that I had that depakote.

My daughter is half way through eighth grade on concerta, and she's also changed, for the better. With the adhd diagnosis she doesn't feel broken, she feels relieved.

Ah, well, It's late and time to go to bed.

Many hugs to all of you.

=====================

Hey, this thread is approaching its one year anniversary!


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## IncaMama (Jun 23, 2004)

i've never been diagnosed, but i'm about 99% sure i've got ADD. constant forgetfulness, inability to organize things either physically or in my head, prioritizing is impossible - everything is HAVE.TO.DO.THIS.RIGHT.NOW. which of course means that nothing gets done right now and i'm left at square one. i am also quite impulsive and flighty, don't remember even basic tasks, have YET to find a reminder system that cracks the code in my brain, you get the idea.

i'm successful academically because i'm great at sprinting at the end and finishing tasks, but in pretty much ever other aspect of my life (especially homelife) i am a collossal failure at keeping up with things. even my friendships have suffered in the past becuase of my inattentiveness and impulsivity.

i'm pregnant with DC#3 and will then be breastfeeding for at *least* another 3 years (if my other kids are any indication of how long this one will nurse LOL), but will be trying medication once my body is back to being my own again. LOL

anyway, glad to have found this thread.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

*journeymom*- I'm SO glad your DD feels releived w/a diagnosis. I've been thinking about her on and off, and wondered how she was.

And in regard to this thread's 1 yr anniversary- whadaya know? I've actually begun something that lasted a while!
















*IncaMama*- Hi!







welcome to our







: little world.

"i'm successful academically because i'm great at sprinting at the end and finishing tasks, but in pretty much ever other aspect of my life (especially homelife) i am a collossal failure at keeping up with things. even my friendships have suffered in the past becuase of my inattentiveness and impulsivity."

this is me, too. I'm getting better at the friendship thing tho'.









AAM- anyone else find the huolidays to be a massive organizational nightmare? sorry typos, onehanded


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
AAM- anyone else find the huolidays to be a massive organizational nightmare? sorry typos, onehanded

The holidays have been the absolute worst time of the year for me. My first Christmas on depakote was the first since I was a kid that I didn't fall apart at the seams.

Par for the course for us is doing panicked last minute shopping on Christmas Eve, and staying up past midnight wrapping gifts. It's been like this since we got married 16 years ago. This Christmas the gifts were all bought by the 23rd, and all were wrapped and under the tree by the afternoon of the 24th. It got to be 10:30 pm and I'd filled the stockings and dh and I looked at each other and wondered how this happened. Then I remembered that we hadn't done a gift exchange with dh's family this year. Wow, I had no idea it would make that much difference. Dh has seven siblings and a lot of nieces and nephews. We're all poor this year and skipped the exchange. I knew we'd save a lot of money. But I had no idea how much stress the gift exchange was causing until it was blessedly _absent!_ I didn't have to shop for as many as six more people, then struggle to find a place and time for everyone to get together and exchange gifts. I wasn't running around like nuts trying to pull everything together. I had time to bake Christmas breads to share with the neighbors and I didn't spoil the atmosphere for everyone else being super stressed out.

This was a huge revelation. I know this will be unpopular but I'm telling the inlaws that we won't be participating in the family Christmas gift exchange anymore. Who knows, maybe they all came to the same conclusion.

This was the best Christmas we've had in a lonnngg time.

I'm curious to hear about everyone else's holiday experiences.


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Yeek, I wish I could skip the Pollyanna. No such luck here. My organizational nightmare is cards. If I don't do everything in one day, it doesn't get done.

Well, I'll be not around so much. I'm going to show off my DS to my extended family in Florida. Hope you all have fun, and Happy New Year if I'm not on too much.


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## flminivanmama (Nov 21, 2001)

the way I have made the cards as simple as possible is I do the picture cards from cvs or walgreens (whoever has the better deal that particlar year - this year it was walgreens, last year it was cvs). you can do the card right on your computer at their website and they call you *in an hour* that it is ready.... *swoon*

I put "love from the (our last name) family" right on the card so I don't need to write anything

I have a file for the labels of all our friends and families addreses & I just print out those labels and my return address labels, stick them on, buy self stick stamps, stick those on... done.

very little work and lots of people ohhing and ahhing over your cute kid(s) and the effort you made LOL


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

christmas cards







:

thank you notes







:

did i mention my 1 yr old and 3 yr olds birthdays are on the 25th and 26th of dec?







:


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## flminivanmama (Nov 21, 2001)

thank you notes.... oy


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## ~Boudicca~ (Sep 7, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flminivanmama* 
thank you notes.... oy

Oh boy...forget those.

I had such a hard time keeping track of names and stuff at my baby shower I'm pretty sure that there are people in existence that still feel slighted because they didn't get one from me. Oh well.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

This year, my MIL basically told nme that if we weren't buying gifts, I needed to at least make them. Well.

So I made cutout cookies, the kind ou decorate, and chex mix, and pumpkin bread. Everyone was impressed. They'd have been even more impressed if they'd seen what my kitchen looked like after I was done. Oh. My. Goodness.

We did ok in the last minute shopping department, we did run out Christmas eve, but only to one place, and the grocery store for sposies. But DH and I were up till 1:30 Christmas morning wrapping gifts. THen the morning of the 26th, I spent making pumpkin bread, and packing tins of cookies, and had to send DH out to the grocery store. then we packed the car and headed out to His parent's for second Christmas. Whew.

We did NO cards this year. I kept saving the envelopes, and DH kept finding them and throwing them away.

we had a wonderful time, actually, and had fun seeing family. I love Christmas, but I'm glad it's over.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Happy New Year!









I hope everyone had a splendid Holiday, and is anticipating a peaceful new year. I know that's a bit of a stretch for some of us, though!

I have already managed to complicate my life further, and 2009 (!!!!!!!) has just begun! I am going to care for a friend's child, who is just 9 days older than my tiny one. She is is desparate need of good childcare, and being qualified, it was hard for me not to offer to help.

So here we are, and good luck everyone!

H


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## ~Boudicca~ (Sep 7, 2005)

Happy New Year to everyone too!

I feel like 2009 is going to be the year I seriously get my sh*t together. I feel so on the ball these days, it's great.

See you later, I am a decluttering machine right now (It's times like these where hyperfocus is my friend)!


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## KurumiSophia (Nov 28, 2007)

I've been cheerfully lurking in this thread. It's been very informative on how you all manage your ADHD.

Unfortunately, I seem to be stuck between a rock and a hard place when it comes to medicating my ADHD. DD is now 15 months old and the pressure to wean from my DH and my MIL so I can have a more effective medication is strong, esp. since I start 3 classes this semester.

When I denied my DD her boobies for the first time last night, I cried. It hurt so much to see her clawing at my shirt and my just snuggling her to try to distract her from it. I know she needs a mom who can concentrate but I know she needs her boobies too.

I'm not sure what the point of this is, just a vent of sorts. *slides back into lurkdom of the thread*


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Hello KurumiSophia! Welcome!








I'm sorry that more effective meds will mean you have to wean.







15 months is a special time. I know it seemed to me my ds1 began to turn into such a neat little person, and he wasn't ready to wean then either. Emotional stress can make Adhd worse, too, so may be now is not the best time if you're starting classes?

Are your DH and you MIL justified in pressuring you? I mean is the new med completely incompatable with bf'ing? Maybe you can check out a few and find out if there's one you can use. Maybe you can see how classes go and then see if you need a stronger med? Can you sit down and have a heart to heart with your DH? Sometimes if I want to have an important discussionwith someone, I have to write down the main points so I can get out what I need to say. What is you DH concerned the most about? If it's the state of the house, he may need to step up the the plate more there if you're going to take classes- which he should be willing to do even if you didn't have ADHD.

We're here for you to throw ideas at, so talk away!









H


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## KurumiSophia (Nov 28, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
Hello KurumiSophia! Welcome!








I'm sorry that more effective meds will mean you have to wean.







15 months is a special time. I know it seemed to me my ds1 began to turn into such a neat little person, and he wasn't ready to wean then either. Emotional stress can make Adhd worse, too, so may be now is not the best time if you're starting classes?

Are your DH and you MIL justified in pressuring you? I mean is the new med completely incompatable with bf'ing? Maybe you can check out a few and find out if there's one you can use. Maybe you can see how classes go and then see if you need a stronger med? Can you sit down and have a heart to heart with your DH? Sometimes if I want to have an important discussionwith someone, I have to write down the main points so I can get out what I need to say. What is you DH concerned the most about? If it's the state of the house, he may need to step up the the plate more there if you're going to take classes- which he should be willing to do even if you didn't have ADHD.

We're here for you to throw ideas at, so talk away!









H

There is a certain justification since even on 40mg of Ritalin, I'm not doing so hot. It seemed to work for a time, but has dropped in effectiveness. Both MIL and DH had a sit down w/me last night about how she has to constantly remind me to do things like clean, etc. And w/my classes starting soon, how am I going to not only do them but do them well in addition to be a wife, mom, etc. I tend to leave a trail of unfinished tasks behind me which is so not good. My NP is wary of any nursing mother being on meds for ADHD and I had to fight just to get what I have.

So I'm just sort of at my wits end 'cause I need to be able to concentrate but neither she nor I are ready to wean.


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## flminivanmama (Nov 21, 2001)

Hi KS - I am looking some info up on ADD and medications - this doesn't take the place of a discussion with your doctor - but may be helpful for you
http://neonatal.ama.ttuhsc.edu/cgi-b...cus/discus.cgi


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## KurumiSophia (Nov 28, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flminivanmama* 
Hi KS - I am looking some info up on ADD and medications - this doesn't take the place of a discussion with your doctor - but may be helpful for you
http://neonatal.ama.ttuhsc.edu/cgi-b...cus/discus.cgi

I gave that one to my nurse practitioner and she still is hedging. The two I had before her were much more open to me nursing and taking medication when I showed them I'd done my research and knew what I was talking about. I swear she thinks I'm a bad mommy for nursing and taking these meds @ the same time.


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## studentmama (Jan 30, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KurumiSophia* 
I gave that one to my nurse practitioner and she still is hedging. The two I had before her were much more open to me nursing and taking medication when I showed them I'd done my research and knew what I was talking about. I swear she thinks I'm a bad mommy for nursing and taking these meds @ the same time.

What other things are you doing to help it? What are you struggling with?


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## KurumiSophia (Nov 28, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *studentmama* 
What other things are you doing to help it? What are you struggling with?

I'm avoiding Red 40 like the plague, taking my medication exactly as prescribed, trying to follow events on the calendar, and using as much force of will as I can muster. Chores are still left undone unless someone reminds me and stays on top of me, I'll get lost online instead of doing things like, oh, studying. I have the worst time remembering to do regular meals, etc.

It's one mishap after another and I need to get it under control but am lost and under pressure.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KurumiSophia* 
I've been cheerfully lurking in this thread. It's been very informative on how you all manage your ADHD.

Unfortunately, I seem to be stuck between a rock and a hard place when it comes to medicating my ADHD. DD is now 15 months old and the pressure to wean from my DH and my MIL so I can have a more effective medication is strong, esp. since I start 3 classes this semester.

When I denied my DD her boobies for the first time last night, I cried. It hurt so much to see her clawing at my shirt and my just snuggling her to try to distract her from it. I know she needs a mom who can concentrate but I know she needs her boobies too.

I'm not sure what the point of this is, just a vent of sorts. *slides back into lurkdom of the thread*

Hey, Welcome! I haven't been around as much. I can't imagine going back to school.

I would have a good talk with your DH about what he expects. Are you living with your MIL? Otherwise, she should butt out. Weaning is up to you.

With the Ritalin not as effective (how long have you been on it?) it would be hard and pointless for you to wean before you planned and then have the meds lose effectiveness quickly.

I cannot imagine weaning my 20 mo, and I've been nursing through painful preggy nips.(Not as bad as some I've heard, but I can't imagine how else to get her to nap and easy bedtimes. But I should be doing something possibly before baby come.

Anyhow, have you seen this thread on ADD meds?

It can be good to have input from others, but regarding nursing, I get bull-headed(shut up, stay out of my business/boobness).









If you need an accountability partner for stuff(or even one area), just ask!

I know, well, I think, I described how I got thru my last year of college classes without meds. Having a good plan and a mentor made a HUGE difference.

Anyhow, I wrote the due dates for homework on a calendar (and in my MS Outlook so it popped up reminders). Then I counted back from the due date three weeks, that was the Start date for projects. Then a week before the due date, I wrote Finish date. I checked in with my mentor weekly to make sure I was on track. The only thing is, if you can, and you got it done, hand it in, don't wait for the due date and forget.









As for house stuff, you can tell, it helps some of us, if we post a list on here of things we want to do, and check back and say, "I got yada-yada done." And we all cheer for you!







:

I hope some of that helps. It's not easy.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KurumiSophia* 
There is a certain justification since even on 40mg of Ritalin, I'm not doing so hot. It seemed to work for a time, but has dropped in effectiveness. Both MIL and DH had a sit down w/me last night about how she has to constantly remind me to do things like clean, etc. And w/my classes starting soon, how am I going to not only do them but do them well in addition to be a wife, mom, etc. I tend to leave a trail of unfinished tasks behind me which is so not good. My NP is wary of any nursing mother being on meds for ADHD and I had to fight just to get what I have.

So I'm just sort of at my wits end 'cause I need to be able to concentrate but neither she nor I are ready to wean.

now i'm going to get stubborn too. i may have misunderstood, but it sounds like both of them want you to take care of them in addiotion to being a mom and student. is your MIL disabled? does she need you to provide care for her in some way? imho your dd needs your milk more than the floor needs vaccuumed.

if you readthe thread you've seen that we all deal with these things- unfinished projects; getting 'lost' on the internet; trtying to clean and accomplishinmg nothing, etc. i think their expectationsof you are a tad unrealistic. i'm not trying to be mean, this comes across sloppy and stark b/c i'm NAK.









please reexamine their exopectations, and unless she lives with you and needs your care, i agree w/maggirayne, she should butt out!








H


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## KurumiSophia (Nov 28, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maggirayne* 
Hey, Welcome! I haven't been around as much. I can't imagine going back to school.

I would have a good talk with your DH about what he expects. Are you living with your MIL? Otherwise, she should butt out. Weaning is up to you.

Yes, we live w/MIL (It was either that or a ghetto. We chose MIL)

Quote:

With the Ritalin not as effective (how long have you been on it?) it would be hard and pointless for you to wean before you planned and then have the meds lose effectiveness quickly.
I've been on the Ritalin for at least 6 months with a gradual dosage increase from 20mg/day to 40mg/day.

Quote:

Anyhow, have you seen this thread on ADD meds?

It can be good to have input from others, but regarding nursing, I get bull-headed(shut up, stay out of my business/boobness).








I've seen it, posted in it 1x and sorta forgot about it. (where's the sheepish smiley when I need it?) It's kinda frustrating for her to tell me that she thinks a year is more than enough and that my DD has all the immunities from it, yet I get through tantrums (omg, the tantrums), naptime, bedtime, snack time, ow I bonked my head really hard time, etc. w/nursing. To lose that in favor of medication that is more effective = a rock and a hard place to use the old cliche.

Quote:

If you need an accountability partner for stuff(or even one area), just ask!
That would be helpful I think. I have the worst memory for chores, etc.

Quote:

I know, well, I think, I described how I got thru my last year of college classes without meds. Having a good plan and a mentor made a HUGE difference.

Anyhow, I wrote the due dates for homework on a calendar (and in my MS Outlook so it popped up reminders). Then I counted back from the due date three weeks, that was the Start date for projects. Then a week before the due date, I wrote Finish date. I checked in with my mentor weekly to make sure I was on track. The only thing is, if you can, and you got it done, hand it in, don't wait for the due date and forget.








That actually sounds like a good plan. I have both a large assignment notebook I got on the cheap from Office Depot, a wall calendar, and a calendar on Google. (Can't tell I live and die by the calendar, huh?







)

Quote:

As for house stuff, you can tell, it helps some of us, if we post a list on here of things we want to do, and check back and say, "I got yada-yada done." And we all cheer for you!







:

I hope some of that helps. It's not easy.
You actually put some pretty helpful tips on there. Next is actually sitting down and setting it up.


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## KurumiSophia (Nov 28, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
now i'm going to get stubborn too. i may have misunderstood, but it sounds like both of them want you to take care of them in addiotion to being a mom and student. is your MIL disabled? does she need you to provide care for her in some way? imho your dd needs your milk more than the floor needs vaccuumed.

if you readthe thread you've seen that we all deal with these things- unfinished projects; getting 'lost' on the internet; trtying to clean and accomplishinmg nothing, etc. i think their expectationsof you are a tad unrealistic. i'm not trying to be mean, this comes across sloppy and stark b/c i'm NAK.









please reexamine their exopectations, and unless she lives with you and needs your care, i agree w/maggirayne, she should butt out!








H

She's not disabled but she does work from home doing database management and programming for a mortgage company. (Stuff that flies way the heck over my head.) So it's been my job of sorts to keep up on the housework, which I'm really freakin' bad at.

The vacuuming and dusting is actually really needed since MIL is severely asthmatic and highly allergic to dust. (It's the whole breathing thing we like, yanno?)

I know you're not trying to be mean.  I can come across pretty stark myself so I'm there w/you. Oh, that was the other complaint, saying things in conversation that aren't appropriate but I was given no examples.

DH tries but he worked nights and so cleaning for him was nigh impossible since he worked at night and slept the majority of the day away.


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## studentmama (Jan 30, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KurumiSophia* 
I'm avoiding Red 40 like the plague, taking my medication exactly as prescribed, trying to follow events on the calendar, and using as much force of will as I can muster. Chores are still left undone unless someone reminds me and stays on top of me, I'll get lost online instead of doing things like, oh, studying. I have the worst time remembering to do regular meals, etc.

It's one mishap after another and I need to get it under control but am lost and under pressure.

Hey there m, I am with you 150%! It is really tough and sometimes it constantly feels like trying to swim against the current.

What have you got for a support system? Who's helping around the house? Kids? Dh?

Any other things you are doing with your diet? Any supplements? How about exercise?

What are you doing for stress relief?

I have CLO, vit b complex, zinc to be very helpful, and generally eating well. I can tell when I have been running ragged and I start eating too much fast food or out, I can really feel the drag on my mind and body.

As for an accountablity partner, I need one of those too. I desparetly need to get all my projects in order, get some deadlines, and follow through.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Kurumi- I hope you don't think you 'deserve' to do all the housework just because you have ADD? And *everyone* says innapropriate things in conversation, EVERYONE. I wish I could come give you a huge hug. I really think MIL is taking advantage of you a tiny bit.









It's tough taking classes and being a mom. I was taking classes online, and pregnant, with a 2 yo. That was last January, and hopefully, in Feb. I'll be able to start up again. I don't know how it will wiork now that I'll be caring for another child, but somehow I will do it, because it MUST be done.

There's a book you should look for, it's written specifically for women with ADD/ADHD. It's called, "You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Crazy or Stupid?" I can't remember the author (or find my copy







).

A lot of gifts come with having ADHD, too. So don't shortchange yourself, you have the power to accomplish amazing things!









H


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## KurumiSophia (Nov 28, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *studentmama* 
Hey there m, I am with you 150%! It is really tough and sometimes it constantly feels like trying to swim against the current.

What have you got for a support system? Who's helping around the house? Kids? Dh?

DH tries as best he can. (We think he has a processing disorder of some kind but don't have the wherewithal to find out what sort(s))

Quote:

Any other things you are doing with your diet? Any supplements? How about exercise?
Nothing else really I do w/my diet. Its a good day if I remember to eat more than 1x/day.

Quote:

What are you doing for stress relief?
Not terribly much. I'm at home pretty much all the time. If I'm not procrastinating on housework, I'm doing housework, taking care of my kiddo, or sleeping. I cross stitch but I'm not sure that counts.


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

my ADD hubby is getting ready to go back to school. He wont do anything with his diet so he is going to get on medss. that is, if he isnt too add/hd to get to the doctor.

I think its the only way he is going to make it through.










I am excited for him.


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## rodsmommy (Jan 3, 2009)

We have two boys with ADHD. I highly recommend the book "Why Can't My Child Behave?" by Jane Hershey. We are just starting the Feingold diet.


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## mamabohl (May 21, 2005)

Happy New Year everybody! Yeah, the holidays are totally crazy and overwhelming for me too. It seems like starting Oct 1st all i focus on is holiday plans. My son's birthday is in the end of oct so i spend all that month planning the bday party (I totally overplan for fear of procrastinating and then not having a party, lol), then Halloween (we made costumes this year), then I'm planning the Thanksgiving dinner and planning all the wonderful gifts I'm going to make for Christmas (yeah, that works never).

Last year I actually did pretty well, I got the Christmas letters written and mailed before Christmas, I mailed out framed family pics to parents and grandparents (and most of them arrived BEFORE xmas!), and i made two homemade toys for my boys and a little girl that we always give xmas gifts to.

This year though....with being in my first trimester I ended up not getting any of the homemade toys done, I did make a tutu for the girl and a no-sew fleece blanket for my dh (with power rangers fabric, lol). I didn't get any xmas letter written or cards mailed out, and the new family pics and frames are sitting upstairs still...*sigh.* At least i managed to get all the shopping done (we only buy gifts for our kids and each other, so shopping and wrapping doesn't take us too much time), and i wasn't up too late on xmas eve. Now i just hope we can actually put this years Christmas video onto disk and get it mailed out soon...along with last years, which still hasn't been put on disk either. D'oh!









I got You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy!? in the mail a couple weeks ago, i haven't started reading it yet but I'm excited! I've been to busy researching birth decisions and reading the Twilight series again (dh got it for me for xmas).

I've been taking a lot more vitamins/supplements now that I'm pregnant, I want to have the healthiest, happiest baby possible. My last baby was so so fussy and high needs...it just about drove me crazy. Anyways I'm taking a hypo-allergenic foods based prenatal and extra calcium blend, a neuromins DHA supplemet, cranberry pills, ginko biloba and probiotics. I need to start taking valerian root again, I haven't been sleeping well lately. I'm also trying to go soy and dairy free in the hopes of preventing an extremely fussy baby (last ds was fussy because of alergies/sensitivities)...but it's So hard. The hardest things for me are the things that have tiny amounts, butter and soy sauce. I just can't seem to live without some kind of butter spread, but all the margarines have soy! So I'm going with small amounts of butter right now, since soy was the bigger culprit.....And i don't even really like soy sauce, but there are just three recipes that i can't imagine living without for so long and they all have soy sauce in the ingredients list. Waaaa!









So on Christmas Eve my 4yo ds started flippng out about what will happen after we die. He wanted to know for sure that there would be another life after this! I told him that it depends on what you believe and explained a little bit about some people believing in afterlife and about the idea of heaven from other religions...but that wasn't good enough, he wanted to know for sure. Come to find out on Christmas day...he thought we were all going to die once Christmas was over! Once I explained to him that he would see lots more Christmases he was ok. He said he got the idea that we were going to die from "a book in his head." Oi! Pointing out that he remembers last Christmas and lived through that one helped too, lol.

So, that's a bit of what's going on/been going on here. Hope everyone's having a happy new year!


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## sunshineafterrain (Jun 19, 2008)

Just wanted to say ~Sooooo glad I found you!


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## KurumiSophia (Nov 28, 2007)

Yay. Tomorrow I see the NP. She's either going to want to up my Ritalin again or pressure me to wean so we can try me on a different medication. I'm not sure I want to keep w/the Ritalin but I do want to try a different med w/o weaning.

Poo.

However I did go on a massive cleaning binge yesterday so the house is looking sparkly.

Next is being focused enough to actually get my driver's license. How sad is that? I'm 25 and I still don't have it.

I just wish DH would get up so I could shower in peace w/o a 2 and a half foot tall person banging on the door.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Well, I will reply to you later, sounds like a not-fun situation.









Soo, here's my list for tomorrow. I gotta get the living room walkable(meaning walk acrossable)

My List:
Call and find out about Gma's B-day
Call about getting coat exchanged
Call C
Laundry
Unload/load dishwasher
Clear kitchen table
Sort/fold clothes in bedroom

I don't want to get overwhelmed, I tend to get carried away making lists.

I'll cheer on anyone who make a list for tomorrow!


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## KurumiSophia (Nov 28, 2007)

To Do:

Unload and reload the dishwasher
Do Laundry
Make Bed

I think that's it but there could be more.

Its too early for me to be thinking. LOL


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## mamabohl (May 21, 2005)

ug, i have a lot to get done today and not enough time! My list

laundry, i must do SOME laundry!
dishes, didn't do any yesterday so now i at least want to get a load going before i leave
leave at 10 for homeschool co-op (yeah right, I'm never on time)
get dressed, eat breakfast
figure out what to make for dinner
put away Christmas lights
return overdue library books (d'oh!)
write the grocery list so i can send dh to the store with it (we discovered that he doesn't buy all the impulse buys like i do...oops!)

I think I'll stick with that, even though there's a desperate need for picking up around here, those are more important...


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## studentmama (Jan 30, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KurumiSophia* 
DH tries as best he can. (We think he has a processing disorder of some kind but don't have the wherewithal to find out what sort(s))

Nothing else really I do w/my diet. Its a good day if I remember to eat more than 1x/day.

Not terribly much. I'm at home pretty much all the time. If I'm not procrastinating on housework, I'm doing housework, taking care of my kiddo, or sleeping. I cross stitch but I'm not sure that counts.










It's hard if you don't have a lot of support, but you can do it mama!

A big thing that helped me when I didn't have a lot of help was stashing half the kids toys so it can't get so messy, making meals double so I can save half in the freezer for another time, and just in general trying not to get to worked up about the house. If I get too upset I totally can't clean and get anything done.

Eating and exercising are big things too. Maybe if you can have more snack type stuff around so you do't forget to eat. How old are you lo's? I know it can be tough to remember to eat, but you have to so you can function.

I try to keep some protein type stuff around so if I forget to eat, I can quick pop something in the microwave or whip up a sandwhich real quick. Another thing that has helped a lot is to make sure I am getting really good fat in my diet. Avocados, olive oil, coconut oil. I also take CLO daily.

As for an easy supplement(I am horrible at remembering to take them) I keep emergen-c packets in the house. Somehow I manage to remember those once a day.

I also have my BIG notebook I keep my lists in. It's a 5 subject one, so I can keep various lists going at once, but it really helps if I write stuff down. I may not even check back at the notebook, but writing it down seems to help a lot.

And I think the biggest thing that is helping me is to manage my expectations. I apparently think I can get the work down of 10 people in one day so I make a big to do list, and then at the end of the day I end up really disappointed in what I got done because it's maybe one or two items on the list. I had to get real about how long it takes to get a project done. That's helps a lot.

I also have come to the realization that this is how I work. How my brain works. I know there are many things I can do that other people can't and that's great, but I had to stop feeling bad because there are other things people do really well that I am terrible at.

We all have different brains for different reasons and there is nothing wrong with that. I don't necessarily want to fix my brain anymore, I just want to figure out how to manage and navigate this kind of time demand culture where you are practically required to have a blackberry to keep your life organized we got so much going on.


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## studentmama (Jan 30, 2004)

pick up office
finish laundry
purge kitchen
work on biz stuff for an hour
bone broth, finish putting turkey away


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

WEll, I haven't gotten started. I need to plan to throw a load of laundry in before I turn my computer on. and I should put breakfast on my list.

You go mamas! We can get two thing done on our lists today!


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## mamabohl (May 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamabohl* 
ug, i have a lot to get done today and not enough time! My list

laundry, i must do SOME laundry!
dishes, didn't do any yesterday so now i at least want to get a load going before i leave
leave at 10 for homeschool co-op (yeah right, I'm never on time)
get dressed, eat breakfast
figure out what to make for dinner
put away Christmas lights
return overdue library books (d'oh!)
write the grocery list so i can send dh to the store with it (we discovered that he doesn't buy all the impulse buys like i do...oops!)

I think I'll stick with that, even though there's a desperate need for picking up around here, those are more important...


Ok, i got out of the house on time, which was good...but i didn't drop off the library books or do anything else on my list. (except getting dressed and eating breakfast) We only just got home, we have to leave in an hour to pick up dh, and I still have to do lunch for all of us, plan dinner, do dishes, do laundry and write the grocery list...yeah right, lol. Oh wait, i know what to make for dinner but i'm not sure if i have everything for it....


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

I'm moving back to Florida. In 2 days. My dh's income here in CO is going to leave us homeless so we are going home!

Its alot to process. Thank GOD for Depakote.


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

oh and I am on that "last 2 days" part where everything left is random. amd its driving me nuts but luckily i get to leave it behind for dh to deal with. He will be coming when we get our tax return.


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KurumiSophia* 
Yay. Tomorrow I see the NP. She's either going to want to up my Ritalin again or pressure me to wean so we can try me on a different medication. I'm not sure I want to keep w/the Ritalin but I do want to try a different med w/o weaning.

Poo.

However I did go on a massive cleaning binge yesterday so the house is looking sparkly.

Next is being focused enough to actually get my driver's license. How sad is that? I'm 25 and I still don't have it.

I just wish DH would get up so I could shower in peace w/o a 2 and a half foot tall person banging on the door.

It's not sad that you don't have your license. It's more common than you think. Plenty of people go years without one. Don't beat yourself up about it.

Your previous posts make it sound as thought you're in a parent-child relationship with your husband and MIL, you as the child. They're sitting down with you and telling you what you're doing wrong, and what you should do instead. I feel this way with my husband sometimes, too, because, well, I'm not on top of things. But it's really bad for the relationship, and it's bad for your ego. You start seeing yourself as deserving to be at the bottom of the pecking order, seeing yourself as childish and incompetent, needing to be told what to do.

Nursing: you need to do a cost-benefit analysis. Nursing has been very satisfying and useful. Could taking a medication (find a better one, for one thing) provide you with the state of mind so that you could find ways to help your daughter that doesn't require nursing? Would going to school provide you with a mental burst of energy, a boost to your ego? I'm not telling you that what YOU should do is wean your child and take medicine. But I'm speaking from my bias. That's exactly what I chose to do when ds was 17 months old: quit nursing so I could go on medication. The medication provided unanticipated solutions.

Yes, we all have responsibilities around the house (including husbands and work-at-home MILs) but don't get stuck thinking the only thing you deserve to do is keep the house clean.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maggirayne* 
Soo, here's my list for tomorrow9hsoulda siad *this week*!







). I gotta get the living room walkable(meaning walk acrossable)

My List:
Call and find out about Gma's B-day
Call about getting coat exchanged
Call C *Done!*
Laundry Two loads done, well, 2nd is in washer
Unload/load dishwasher
Clear kitchen table
Sort/fold clothes in bedroom

Soo, I have gotten more than I thought done, but not as much as I planned for Monday, hehe. But then I am 2nd trimester pg and trying to figure out what to do about DD's teeth (she has ECC







DH is saying nightwean). and reading on nightweaning, I am so tired and get crabby when she wakes me more than once. And I want to research about safe mattresses. I wish we could get an organic twin, but $700? I don't think I can get that past DH. I wish. But I want DD moved to a twin bed right beside us before baby comes. I think that would help her sleep longer too. Yeah, wanna knows what's weird? She slept longer, woke less while we were traveling. Well, she did nap less, but in new places (floor, hotel, different house every couple of nights), she did great sleeping.









Oh, and I have napped some, er rested the last two days. I get so crabby when I'm tired. I did make a really yummy salad for myself.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

How's everybody?

Roll Call!! (not really)

Well, taking care of another tiny one in additions to my 2 ds's is actually going better than I thought it would. But maybe I should reassess in another week!









It's forcing me to be more organized, at home anyway. But the proverbial excrement is going to hit the fan when my Pastor/mentor finds out!


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## KurumiSophia (Nov 28, 2007)

So Monday I managed to get almost nothing done 'cause I landed in the ER due to a freakishly heavy post partum period. (No, they still don't know why I'm soaking a tampon an hour but can't find anything wrong w/me so I got sent home) As a result, the NP appointment is moved to waaay too early on a Fri. morning so between now and than I'm out of medication. Joy.

Today is a bit better day. I've tackled more laundry and helped hubby w/the job hunt.

Journeymom, I tend to be more submissive towards my husband having been my mother's caretaker for many many years. It's a result of being in charge when I shouldn't have been, so now I relinquish a lot of control to him. Even before I met my husband, I've always viewed myself at the bottom of the pecking order. The needs of others have ALWAYS come before my own.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

KurumiSophia


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

here! I drove across 3 states today. colorado, new mexico, and texas. And then we had to go back to NM to get a camp site. Now that I know about adhd and add and bipolar, I think everyone has it. My parents ESPECIALLY. Its really hard to travel with them.

Embrace the maddness.







: Dont deny it.









So yeah. I am in New Mexico. Which Rocks. I have always wanted to see Texas.


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## waiting2bemommy (Dec 2, 2007)

Can i join in? I'm not sure if i have ADD or bipolar, but I am having a hard hard time right now with my mom (I live with her) and being able to get things done.I get these short bursts of energy and run around like a madwoman cleaning up and then sit slumped in front of the computer like a slug. I never manage to clean the whole house and she is perpetually angry. Ugh.....anyway, I stumbled on this thread and after reading through it I feel a little better that I'm not the only one who can't keep it together. I have a precription for abilify and I don't mind taking it; I just keep forgetting to start taking the pills every day. Yes, i suck. I am reminded on a regualr basis...


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## mamabohl (May 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *waiting2bemommy* 
Can i join in? I'm not sure if i have ADD or bipolar, but I am having a hard hard time right now with my mom (I live with her) and being able to get things done.I get these short bursts of energy and run around like a madwoman cleaning up and then sit slumped in front of the computer like a slug. I never manage to clean the whole house and she is perpetually angry. Ugh.....anyway, I stumbled on this thread and after reading through it I feel a little better that I'm not the only one who can't keep it together. I have a precription for abilify and I don't mind taking it; I just keep forgetting to start taking the pills every day. Yes, i suck. I am reminded on a regualr basis...

















You don't suck and no one should be telling you that. I do the same thing with short bursts of cleaning (during which i get a lot done in a short time), but mostly just sitting doing who knows what. It is really frustrating. Taking pills every day is SO hard to remember for me too! I've actually been doing really well with my prenatals lately...but my 6yo has been reminding me a lot, lol.


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## mamabohl (May 21, 2005)

Well, I managed to get all the Christmas stuff put away in the last two days, and i picked up the downstairs area finally. It was really aweful, lol. Upstairs is still a disaster area....but oh well. I did a couple loads of laundry on tuesday, but the left them sitting in the washer and dryer all day yesterday. oops. Today i need to

plan dinner
finish the dishes
do more laundry
do a litle math with ds
maybe get some picking up done in the toy room?


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## KurumiSophia (Nov 28, 2007)

Today I need to

finish laundry
Put together dinner
clean our room
vacuum--done
mop--done
put college stuff in order so things don't look like a hurricane hit it.
Do the kitchen counters and the sink

I'm having the nervous nelly moments about dealing w/the NP tomorrow, especially early in the AM. (I'm not human before I've had at least 2 cups of coffee in me.)

But it is what it is.

Off to actually be productive.


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## mamabohl (May 21, 2005)

good luck with your apt today KurumiSophia.

I got everything done yesterday except picking up the toy room.








Today we're going to the Living Museum with our AP playgroup, so i need to get ready soon.


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## flminivanmama (Nov 21, 2001)

I have to make sure I have everything I need for Sunday school & I keep putting off actually sitting down and looking at it all together. (I teach 6th grade and a new semester is starting this sunday and I am just repeating the class I taught last semester with a new group - so I need to make sure I have everything in order - my lesson is already planned....)


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## Mom2Ian (Feb 7, 2008)

Hi All







:

I was diagnosed with ADHD in my early 20's and had a lot of problems in high school and college. I tested out at "gifted" so everyone seemed to think that I wasn't trying hard enough, and after a while I did stop "trying" and was content to just get through and not do my best in high school. My "academic" self-esteem really took a beating. College was a little better (but not much) and now that I am in grad school I'm doing okay but still really fight some maladaptive behaviors (really bad with procrastinating, have a lot of confidence issues related to school). I will be so happy when I graduate









I took meds early on (about 10 years ago). The only thing that ever worked was Dexedrine and a therapeutic dose allowed me to think clearly, be motivated and get things done. But it also made me jittery, somewhat temporarily OCD (lol) and made me feel as if I had been run over by a truck when it wore off. So in college I only took it when I felt I absolutely had to (finals and when I had papers due...lol) and in grad school I have managed without it, probably just because the subject matter is more easily absorbed for me b/c I have more interest in it.

DH is also ADHD so we have a lot of empathy for each other.









I also have clinical depression (which I do take meds for) and can relate to what some others have posted about bad housekeeping. And I could have written the following post right down to the clinical social worker part...how interesting! I will be PMing you LOL I didn't know I had a long-lost twin









I have trouble maintaining female relationships too and often choose to not have people over to my house because of "the laundry on the couch"







I do have some really good friends, but anyone who stays in my life for any length of time is the type of person who does not take it personally when I don't call them on their b-day or talk to them for a couple of months. Between being an attentive Mom, school and internship (plus doing the obligatory laundry and dishes daily to keep SOME of the chaos in my house away) I often feel like I don't have any energy left for a social life anyway LOL

Quote:


Originally Posted by *socialworkmamma* 
Yeah, I'm totally here. Classic tale of people-pleasing girl with ADD who learned to cope, sort of. Since I was not running around, teachers would never think there was a problem, I just daydreamed a lot. Thankfully,(I guess), smart enough to compensate. Also I had older, AP parents who loved and accepted me as is, and then a great supportive DH who does the same. I've never been medicated and at this point in time don't think I ever will be. I'm a clinical social worker and have been given several scales, which all say I have ADD. I think the part that bugs me the most is feeling such a disconnect from other women. It's hard for me to maintain friendships, I just don't really have the ability to organize my time to allow for working part-time and being the kind of Mom I am and then adding female friendship into the mix. I also think part of it is the part of the country I live in seems to have female friendship revolve around activities I don't think of as ADD friendly, if that makes sense. I tried to scrapbook, and would still like to, but by the time I would find what I wanted, my time for it was past. Also I would hyperfocus on something, time would pass and nothing would be done. I also think lots of women are not real cool with coming to a house where there is laundry on the couch and lots of unfinished projects. Then again maybe it's my own "shame" issue with feeling like I don't measure up in the "womanly" arts of housekeeping, etc. None of this is stuff my DH puts on me, it's how I feel about myself. Being a mother has been very healing for me on many levels. I feel like I'm a really, sensitive, loving and nurturing mother, so therfore I must be a "good woman".
Yeah, this tended to ramble, imagine that, but would love to hear from other's on how the condition impacts their self-esteem in today's society with all the expectations of looking great, being organized, a perfect mother, lots of friends, a hot lover, and on and on.


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## KurumiSophia (Nov 28, 2007)

The appointment went ok, better than I expected. She switched me to Adderal xr (holy crap sticker shock!) Apparently though the policy of the office is changing. If I can't come up with some documentation that shows my dx of ADHD, they won't medicate me anymore since I'm functioning (sorta).







:

So today in addition to today's todo list, I get to scour the garage for the paperwork from VocRehab showing my dx. Awesome

On tap for today:

Unload/Reload dishwasher
laundry
work on room
Get records showing ADD dx
Vacuum and carpet clean after DH sands down the mud repairs
Sweep
Mop
Clean Bathroom.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

What I'd like to know is what their definition of 'functional' is? I mean, yes, noone in my house would die of anything becaus of the mess, but I wouldn't want any less than a week's notice if CPS was to come visit, either. and not necessarily because of what they might find, but because of what I percieve their standards to be (ie: sparkles) and what they might think. It's hard for me to know if I'm functioning or not, because I feel at times like I'm immersed in Chaos inside and out.

I've actually had a few people over lately, and now I'm watching a small baby (my tiny one's age) and I'm careful to keep the first floor, at least, in order. But I couldn't do it at all, if DH didn't do the dishes, help with the laundry, and do Dad duty after dinner so I can rest.

I'm starting to have stomachaches, too, and I'm sure it's stress related. And soon, I'll have Church responsibilities starting up again, and I have no idea how I'll cope. So am I functioning? BARELY.

This Weekend's MUST do List:
Vacuum 4 rooms
Wash kitchen and bathroom floors
get ahead of the laundry
plan and teach Sunday School

This weekend's WISH list:
Go out for Chinese with DH, sans at least the 2 yo!
work on pottying w/said 2yo
take down Christmas tree, and get everything put away
Search Attic for next size clothes for baby, and sort and put away too small stuff.

I venture to say that a 'normal' could probably conquer both lists.


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## waiting2bemommy (Dec 2, 2007)

heidirk said:


> What I'd like to know is what their definition of 'functional' is? I mean, yes, noone in my house would die of anything becaus of the mess, but I wouldn't want any less than a week's notice if CPS was to come visit, either.
> QUOTE]
> 
> I wonder the same thing.....My mom tells me (and others) that I'm not functional but i do get by....the laundry is always piled up, the bathroom is a mess probably 60% o the time, and i'm always barely on time for work in the morning. So...is that functional? And, in response to what the other poster said about this, I'd personally be afraid to show a dx saying I wasn't functional withou meds.....I'd be afraid of CPS or something interfering in my life, or saying i wasn't able to provide a proper home for my ds.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KurumiSophia* 
She's not disabled but she does work from home doing database management and programming for a mortgage company. (Stuff that flies way the heck over my head.) So it's been my job of sorts to keep up on the housework, which I'm really freakin' bad at.

The vacuuming and dusting is actually really needed since MIL is severely asthmatic and highly allergic to dust. (It's the whole breathing thing we like, yanno?)

*Um, what did she do before she had a live-in house cleaner? Doesn't she do some work? I'm of the thought that raising kids and cooking alone are a full time and husbands sshould share the responsibility of keeping house and changing diapers and other taking care of children. I've been telling my DH that once we have #2, DD is going to be his nighttime responsibility
*

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KurumiSophia* 
Yes, we live w/MIL (It was either that or a ghetto. We chose MIL)
*Ugh, I love my MIL, but I don't think I'd want to live with her. And we spend most weekends there, but living with someone is different.*

I've seen it, posted in it 1x and sorta forgot about it. (where's the sheepish smiley when I need it?) It's kinda frustrating for her to tell me that she thinks a year is more than enough and that my DD has all the immunities from it, yet I get through tantrums (omg, the tantrums), naptime, bedtime, snack time, ow I bonked my head really hard time, etc. w/nursing. To lose that in favor of medication that is more effective = a rock and a hard place to use the old cliche.

*That's simply her opinion, she may have a right to ask you do to chores, but she does not have the right to tell you how to parent and what parenting choices to make. It's up to you to determine what is best for you and your daughter.

Have you tried supplements? The fish oil and B Vits? I just take a good prenatal and fish oil, but some others on here really lean on the supplements successfully, maybe they can chime in here.







*

That would be helpful I think. I have the worst memory for chores, etc.
*PM me and we can exchange phone #s. If I have someone to talk to, I get a lot more done, since I'm not online, lol!*

That actually sounds like a good plan. I have both a large assignment notebook I got on the cheap from Office Depot, a wall calendar, and a calendar on Google. (Can't tell I live and die by the calendar, huh?







)

*It did work really great. I was a little scared of my mentor, so wa motivated, heheh.*

You actually put some pretty helpful tips on there. Next is actually sitting down and setting it up.
*Thank you, well, I didn't think of it. Yep, that's the big job. It's always easier if I break things up, then I don't get overwhelmed. I cleared one little counter space last night, but it was enough to get my fruit off the floor(I'm trying to get to eating more whole foods) and had room to make supper. Yay! So if I get DH to hang my fruit baskets, then I can move my silverware box and clear out the mess on the counter under the microwave.*


Quote:


Originally Posted by *studentmama* 
Hey there m, I am with you 150%! It is really tough and sometimes it constantly feels like trying to swim against the current.

What have you got for a support system? Who's helping around the house? Kids? Dh?

Any other things you are doing with your diet? Any supplements? How about exercise?

What are you doing for stress relief?

I have CLO, vit b complex, zinc to be very helpful, and generally eating well. I can tell when I have been running ragged and I start eating too much fast food or out, I can really feel the drag on my mind and body.

As for an accountablity partner, I need one of those too. I desparetly need to get all my projects in order, get some deadlines, and follow through.

PM me and we can exchange phone #s. If I have someone to talk to, I get a lot more done, since I'm not online, lol!
Oh, and I know I have to pay attention to HALT or I get super angry with poor DD.And usually it's Tired or Hungry

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
Kurumi- I hope you don't think you 'deserve' to do all the housework just because you have ADD? And *everyone* says innapropriate things in conversation, EVERYONE. I wish I could come give you a huge hug. I really think MIL is taking advantage of you a tiny bit.









*Eh, can I say a huge bit? I mean, not only does she expect you to do all the housework but to raise your child the way she expects to make her life easier? And nag you when you don't get them done? And criticise how you talk? Sheesh.*

It's tough taking classes and being a mom. I was taking classes online, and pregnant, with a 2 yo. That was last January, and hopefully, in Feb. I'll be able to start up again. I don't know how it will wiork now that I'll be caring for another child, but somehow I will do it, because it MUST be done.

There's a book you should look for, it's written specifically for women with ADD/ADHD. It's called, "You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Crazy or Stupid?" I can't remember the author (or find my copy







).

A lot of gifts come with having ADHD, too. So don't shortchange yourself, you have the power to accomplish amazing things!









H


Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamabohl* 
ug, i have a lot to get done today and not enough time! My list

laundry, i must do SOME laundry!
dishes, didn't do any yesterday so now i at least want to get a load going before i leave
leave at 10 for homeschool co-op (yeah right, I'm never on time)
get dressed, eat breakfast
figure out what to make for dinner
put away Christmas lights
return overdue library books (d'oh!)
write the grocery list so i can send dh to the store with it (we discovered that he doesn't buy all the impulse buys like i do...oops!)

I think I'll stick with that, even though there's a desperate need for picking up around here, those are more important...

I figure pretty accurately how much time it will take and add 20 minutes. Then I get online and delay until the last minute anyway. 

Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 
oh and I am on that "last 2 days" part where everything left is random. amd its driving me nuts but luckily i get to leave it behind for dh to deal with. He will be coming when we get our tax return.









I hope your move goes well.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KurumiSophia* 
So Monday I managed to get almost nothing done 'cause I landed in the ER due to a freakishly heavy post partum period. (No, they still don't know why I'm soaking a tampon an hour but can't find anything wrong w/me so I got sent home) As a result, the NP appointment is moved to waaay too early on a Fri. morning so between now and than I'm out of medication. Joy.

Today is a bit better day. I've tackled more laundry and helped hubby w/the job hunt.

Journeymom, I tend to be more submissive towards my husband having been my mother's caretaker for many many years. It's a result of being in charge when I shouldn't have been, so now I relinquish a lot of control to him. Even before I met my husband, I've always viewed myself at the bottom of the pecking order. The needs of others have ALWAYS come before my own.

I'm sorry. It's hard to change patterns of responding.







Just because he may be more 'in charge' doesn't mean he should take advantage of you or let others do it.


----------



## Mom2Ian (Feb 7, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
What I'd like to know is what their definition of 'functional' is? I mean, yes, noone in my house would die of anything becaus of the mess, but I wouldn't want any less than a week's notice if CPS was to come visit, either. and not necessarily because of what they might find, but because of what I percieve their standards to be (ie: sparkles) and what they might think. It's hard for me to know if I'm functioning or not, because I feel at times like I'm immersed in Chaos inside and out.

I wonder about this too...


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Oh cripes. I have been on the road for 4 days with 3 kids a really bad dog, and my abusive ocd mother, and complaicent father in a freaking RV.

I have been unable to resist the temptation of candy.

I told my dh this would be a really good time to take up pot.









But so anyways, this is not my week.







:


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Ugh,







transformed. Sounds like disaster.


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 
Oh cripes. I have been on the road for 4 days with 3 kids a really bad dog, and my abusive ocd mother, and complaicent father in a freaking RV.

I have been unable to resist the temptation of candy.

I told my dh this would be a really good time to take up pot.









But so anyways, this is not my week.







:











On a lighter note, sounds like a great idea for a book/movie.









I'm back!







: Missed you guys!


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## KurumiSophia (Nov 28, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maggirayne* 
*Um, what did she do before she had a live-in house cleaner? Doesn't she do some work? I'm of the thought that raising kids and cooking alone are a full time and husbands sshould share the responsibility of keeping house and changing diapers and other taking care of children. I've been telling my DH that once we have #2, DD is going to be his nighttime responsibility
*

She cleaned obsessively while working full time in the office however, it never really got messy because she wasn't at home much.

Quote:

Ugh, I love my MIL, but I don't think I'd want to live with her. And we spend most weekends there, but living with someone is different.
We were living in a really bad neighborhood before coming to live here. (We lived exactly 2 streets over from where a family of 7 was brutally murdered) When his mom offered to open her home to us like she'd done for both of his sisters, we jumped at the chance since there was no way we wanted to raise our daughter around drugs, thugs, and bugs.

Quote:

Have you tried supplements? The fish oil and B Vits? I just take a good prenatal and fish oil, but some others on here really lean on the supplements successfully, maybe they can chime in here.
I haven't tried supplements yet. My NP just switched me to Adderall XR which seems to be helping more than the short acting Ritalin. (Though, OMG, sticker shock. Thank goodness it's going generic in a few months)

Though I really would love to know what their definition of functional is since w/o the medicine, I barely function on a "normal" level. Do they intend to leave me that way until I'm drowning and than swoop in to help? Oh how I'd love to pick my NP's brain on this.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

*Kurumi*-yah, ritalin was scary for me to be on, mostly when it wore off and i wanted to throw and break things. i hope adderall works for you. can you nurse still?

welcomeback, *smee*!!

i got quite a bit done this weeked, but lots yet I want to do. I want control of my life more than anything, but that's not happenin'.

MY FOOT HURTS!!!! my heel, actually, it's driving me insane.

Maggirayne- dh became night-time ODP when I got pregnant this time.







oops, ODP means On Duty Parent. I don't care how hard he was working, HE wasn't gestating.


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## KurumiSophia (Nov 28, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
*Kurumi*-yah, ritalin was scary for me to be on, mostly when it wore off and i wanted to throw and break things. i hope adderall works for you. can you nurse still?

The NP said nothing about weaning. While I realize the Adderall is an L4, DD doesn't seem to be showing any reaction to it so far. I see the NP back again next week to see where we're at. So far it seems to be working pretty well. I'm only having vague panic 'cause it looks like I don't have one of the books I need for English Composition. argh!


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

So far so good, then. I hope you have the book you need.

Here, this is for all of us. Someone told me to check out www.motivatedmoms.com

it's pretty cool.


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

:

I'm getting a G1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I finally saved up enough money for it, and I'm ordering it this week.

Hopefully, this will help get me more organized by syncing with everything I currently use online.








:


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## Froggie (Oct 19, 2004)

I am subbing to this thread, since there are a gazillion pages and it's taken me two hours to read through only three of them, lol. The great thing is, in those three pages, I found so many of the topics that I've been thinking about, from cleaning the house (ack-the laundry!) to keeping a calendar, to self medicating, to my right brained propensities, and so much more... You really are my tribe.

It's late tonight and I have to sleep, although all I want to do is keep reading.

See you tomorrow!
~J


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
*Kurumi*-yah, ritalin was scary for me to be on, mostly when it wore off and i wanted to throw and break things.

MY FOOT HURTS!!!! my heel, actually, it's driving me insane.

Maggirayne- dh became night-time ODP when I got pregnant this time.







oops, ODP means On Duty Parent. I don't care how hard he was working, HE wasn't gestating.









Sigh, very true. I feel like I'm borderline rage half the time, and I have an easy baby, well, toddler.

She's sleeping until 3:30 and yesterday 4:15, waking to nurse, then 6-7 and waking around 9:15. But today she nursed 3:30, and then not until 8 am! Might be because I have no milk.














But I haven't slept like this in two years!







:

When I decided to try limiting, we tried DH holding, walking, rocking, giving her a bottle, but she fell back asleep easiest with me talking/humming and patting her. but with my supply dropping she's not waking up, which I've been wanting to have her nightweaned before baby comes.

Hi Froggie, change your options to view 100 post per page instead of the default of 20, it makes it less long.







It's only 3 pages that way.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 







:

I'm getting a G1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I finally saved up enough money for it, and I'm ordering it this week.

Hopefully, this will help get me more organized by syncing with everything I currently use online.








:


Now, can it FIND itself when you lose it? That would make it REALLY useful!









Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maggirayne* 
Sigh, very true. I feel like I'm borderline rage half the time, and I have an easy baby, well, toddler.

She's sleeping until 3:30 and yesterday 4:15, waking to nurse, then 6-7 and waking around 9:15. But today she nursed 3:30, and then not until 8 am! Might be because I have no milk.














But I haven't slept like this in two years!







:

When I decided to try limiting, we tried DH holding, walking, rocking, giving her a bottle, but she fell back asleep easiest with me talking/humming and patting her. but with my supply dropping she's not waking up, which I've been wanting to have her nightweaned before baby comes.

Hi Froggie, change your options to view 100 post per page instead of the default of 20, it makes it less long.







It's only 3 pages that way.


It was a happy/sad time for us, too. But I had already nursed for 18 mos, and I figured, hey, way to go, me! It was nice to have uninterrupted sleep for 6 mos before the baby came!

Change my options to 100 per page, huh. . . don't know if I can handle that, my attention wanders after five posts or so.


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## Froggie (Oct 19, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
So far so good, then. I hope you have the book you need.
Here, this is for all of us. Someone told me to check out www.motivatedmoms.com
it's pretty cool.

I've used the Motivated Moms system before... like all things though, my issue is long term follow-through. I am considering a GIANT organizing area for my kitchen. Like a tack strip for school papers, an extra large calendar, and a bulletin board for menus, Motivated Mom's list, 2 kids chore charts & a shopping list. What is stopping me is that it'll look like I-don't know-what.. I like the kitchen to be visually clutter free (ha, I said I like it, not that it's *always* that way!) so it pains me to put up a bunch of visual clutter. The idea is that if it is right there, ugly and all, that I will see it and remember to do it everyday. Think it'll work?

Here's a tip for Motivated Moms: You can print the FREE 2002 calendar, use the daily chore list which isn't dated and just shift a few dates around to follow the weekly chores.

I've tried FlyLady before and was overwhelmed by the sheer mass of emails and the zones, besides her emphasis on shoes, which is just wierd imo. I mean, I live in FL and if you can't go barefoot in FL, what's the point?

Right now, we let it get messier and messier until either A) we can't stand it anymore and everyone is out of laundry or B) we have a party or play date to clean up for. Not a good system.

Anyway, these are my only ideas for taming my chore list and tackling the clutter, dust, laundry and toys. I really really want to be able to invite a neighbor in for coffee or for when a friend calls and is "in the neighborhood" not to disolve into total panic. I know they will still love me if they are my real friends, but I want that stress to be gone!


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Froggie- that's my defualt system, too, apparently!







Maybe I should check out Flylady- I do love shoes.


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Sheesh, I WISH it could find itself. Talk about technology!


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

I mean, we have cars that can parallel park themselves, why don't we have self-finding Keys?


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Hehe, if you need help cleaning house, all you just need is a older neighbor to come fold your laundry. My loveseat was full. We live in the same apt building and visit, and I've gotten kinda like, well,this is my house, this is the way it is. She helped and the loveseat is empty, but it was interesting. I've got a friend who's great, and I don't care if she comes, but she doesn't tell me to put the stuff away. But the living room looks better. Ya take whatcha get sometimes.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mom2Ian* 
I was diagnosed with ADHD in my early 20's and had a lot of problems in high school and college. I tested out at "gifted" so everyone seemed to think that I wasn't trying hard enough, and after a while I did stop "trying" and was content to just get through and not do my best in high school. My "academic" self-esteem really took a beating. College was a little better (but not much) and now that I am in grad school I'm doing okay but still really fight some maladaptive behaviors (really bad with procrastinating, have a lot of confidence issues related to school). I will be so happy when I graduate









And I could have written the following post right down to the clinical social worker part...how interesting! I will be PMing you LOL I didn't know I had a long-lost twin









I have trouble maintaining female relationships too and often choose to not have people over to my house because of "the laundry on the couch"







I do have some really good friends, but anyone who stays in my life for any length of time is the type of person who does not take it personally when I don't call them on their b-day or talk to them for a couple of months. Between being an attentive Mom, school and internship (plus doing the obligatory laundry and dishes daily to keep SOME of the chaos in my house away) I often feel like I don't have any energy left for a social life anyway LOL









laundry on the couch, yesterday when my DH came home, he was like, "Oh my, I'd forgotten what the loveseat looked like!" He was teasing. And it was funny to me.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
Now, can it FIND itself when you lose it? That would make it REALLY useful!









It was a happy/sad time for us, too. But I had already nursed for 18 mos, and I figured, hey, way to go, me! It was nice to have uninterrupted sleep for 6 mos before the baby came!

Change my options to 100 per page, huh. . . don't know if I can handle that, my attention wanders after five posts or so.









Yeah, I'm hoping to have a few months of sleep. Heh, just in time to get used to it. Oh well. But I slept while DD nursed more when she was little, I think. but then she used to nurse for 3-5 minutes on one side and be done. The hard part having enough light to see to change diapers without waking her up.

Yeah, I keep some long ones open for a couple of days. Read a bit, go to something else, come back, etc. Gotta love the tabs in Firefox.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Just after Milo was born, a friend of mine came over for the day, and helped me fold the clean laundry that had built up. But she drew the line at foldng my hubby's underpants! (and who can blame her?)









I MUST go to Office Max and get a new calendar for my organiser book. Twice this week, I double scheduled myself for something. It actually all worked out. But boy did I feel silly.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Heh, I wish she'd drawn the line at underwear. I grabbed DH's but she'd hold mine up and ask, "Are these yours?" They sure aren't my 20 mo's!







It was funny but embarrassing. and I'd moved some to a different pile of laundry and folded them, and she grabbed those and refolded them


----------



## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)




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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Yeah, I was like, why on earth is she asking?

And she matched our socks, I had a box for each of mine and DH's. And she kept saying, "There isn't a match for all of these" worriedly. And I would say, "There's some more in the laundry or the bedroom."

Except it was like she didn't hear me, so I wish I'd counted how many times I did say it, andI was getting frustrated so I quit. Heheh. But it was pretty easy to get my living room cleaned up for my midwife appt. today. We heard the heartbeat!







:


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Yeah, I was like, why on earth is she asking?

And she matched our socks, I had a box for each of mine and DH's. And she kept saying, "There isn't a match for all of these" worriedly. And I would say, "There's some more in the laundry or the bedroom."

Except it was like she didn't hear me, so I wish I'd counted how many times I did say it, andI was getting frustrated so I quit. Heheh. But it was pretty easy to get my living room cleaned up for my midwife appt. today. We heard the heartbeat!







:


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## KurumiSophia (Nov 28, 2007)

So I'm on my 2nd week of Adderall. It's starting to make a difference, I think. I've got my whole week planned out for homework doing bits each night so I don't procrastinate and overwhelm myself.

This week's schedule looks like this:

Mon.
Algebra: Notes on R.2 and R.3
English: Read Chapter One. _Done_
English: Take Plagiarism Quiz _Done_

Tues.
Algebra: Notes on R.4 and R.5
English: Read Chapter 2
English: Writer's FAQS, Sections 11, 13-16. Pg 269 and 279
History: Initial DB Response

Wed.
English: Powerpoint Presentation
English: Mod 2 Blog
History: Read and take notes on Chapter 2, Breaching the Atlantic
History: Respond to at least 1 other classmate's DB post

Thurs. English Mod 2 is due
Algebra: Take notes on 1.1 and 1.2
History: Read and take notes on Chapter 2, Spanish Conquest of America

Fri.
Algebra: Notes on 1.3 and 1.4
History: Read and take notes on Chapter 2, England looks West
English: Read Chapter 3
English: Mod 3 Blog

Sat.
Algebra: MML Homework, 1.1-1.4
History: Read and takes notes on Chapter 2, African Bondage and Conclusion.
English: Review SW introduction to the Narrative
English: View Powerpoint Presentation
English: Start on Narrative Paper

Sunday. Math, Week 2 and History Week 2 are due.
History: Chapter 2 quiz.
English: Continue on Narrative Paper

I'm adding this to my daily to-do list of chores as well so I can get stuff done and not be overwhelmed.

My daily list is starting to look something like this:

Take Medicine (way important)
Laundry
Unload/reload dishwasher
pick up room
make bed
vacuum (every other day)
mop(every other day)
carpet clean (once a week)

Sorry this is so long, I didn't realize that it would turn out that way.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

*Kurumi*- you're so funny. we understand, post away!







That looks a lot like what I had to do to get my online classwork completed on time. I always worked ahead, too, which we weren't supposed to do. I start a class on Feb 23rd!!!!!!

*Maggirayne*







: Yay!!!! It's so exciting! I almost wish we could do it again soon, too! I must be crazy!

on a side note- I just misspelled 'almost' and it came out '*amlost*' Now _there's_ a Freudian slip.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Yeah, I got baby bug, oh, after she was a year, I think. Maybe not.

Yay, Kurumi! Is it working for you?

I need to do some chores daily. Poor DH. He asked if we could move out and leave everything. I could do some serious decluttering.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Yeah, I got baby bug, oh, after she was a year, I think. Maybe not.

Yay, Kurumi! Is it working for you?

I need to do some chores daily. Poor DH. He asked if we could move out and leave everything. I could do some serious decluttering.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Okay, MDC and Firefox must not like each other. It does this to me and it won't let me edit either. Sigh.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

OK, I have GOT to stop inviting people to my house, and not writing it down! I mean, this is embarrassing!







:

Oy, I am just so braindead tonight!


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## blizzard_babe (Feb 14, 2007)

Can I join you ladies? I'm casually diagnosed (read: a psych saying, "Well you certainly describe enough symptoms that you'd qualify for an ADD diagnosis," but nothing beyond that







), unmedicated. Probably moderate-ish.

I'm trying out Motivated Moms. Also tried Flylady but was massively overwhelmed.

I'm Sara, by the way.


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## KurumiSophia (Nov 28, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
OK, I have GOT to stop inviting people to my house, and not writing it down! I mean, this is embarrassing!







:

Oy, I am just so braindead tonight!

I feel the same! I had an appointment w/my home visitor today and spaced it, instead going shopping for workout clothes and getting ready to go to the Y.








:

At least she understood.

Welcome Blizzard_Babe. Grab some coffee and pull up a chair.


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## shannonnc78 (May 15, 2008)

Hi, I'm new to this discussion. I've got ADHD, primarily attention deficit, and I'm currently unmedicated. I'd always thought that I had attention problems, but convinced myself that ADHD was a made-up diagnosis. After all, if I could get a master's degree and halfway through a Ph.D. program without a diagnosis or meds, there's nothing wrong. This past semester made me realize that something was terribly wrong. Having a baby and procrastinating with schoolwork does not work. My husband would give me 2 hours each morning to work on schoolwork. He'd take the baby and I'd go shut myself in the office to work. I found it impossible to work. I just couldn't concentrate and I'd end up doing maybe 10 minutes of work in 2 hours. I went to my doctor and was prescribed Strattera which worked like a charm. I don't think I would have made it through the semester without it. I went off of it after the semester ended, though, because it made me incredibly grouchy and short tempered. I'm hoping this semester I won't need any medication (it will be a much less demanding semester than last semester).


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Hi Shannon and Blizzard_Babe! Welcome to the group!


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## blizzard_babe (Feb 14, 2007)

Had to do the whirlwind clean this morning because our regular babysitter (whose house we take DS to) is sick, so we had to use our back-up (who comes to our house).

BUT... I did my Motivated Moms chores yesterday. The kitchen floor, she be mopped. Not sure how long it's been since that happened. I'm such a perfectionist in some ways... I have a hard time doing just PART of a task like cleaning the house. I'm hoping I can stick to the MM calendar. I have a bit of a history of starting these things, getting overwhelmed by a minor setback, and then quitting because the mountain looks too high, so to speak. I have a feeling some of you ladies know what I'm talking about.


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## Froggie (Oct 19, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blizzard_babe* 
......... I have a bit of a history of starting these things, getting overwhelmed by a minor setback, and then quitting because the mountain looks too high, so to speak. I have a feeling some of you ladies know what I'm talking about.









OMG Blizzard - I sooo know what you mean! The mountain always looks so high and then I don't know why I procrastinate like I do. If I can remember to break something down into mini-tasks and put them on my to-do list, I have a better time acomplishing the whole thing.

I've been considering medication lately since I have a hard time remembering to do things like pay bills on time and we will be adding a second business to our primary Work At Home business. It's not good when you are the book keeper and you forget to keep the books.


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## blizzard_babe (Feb 14, 2007)

I've been debating looking into medication... but I hate to even start down that path. I just feel like I COULD do so much better. I'm "not working to my full potential," in teacher lingo. I look at a large group of objects (all the stuff on my desk, for example), and can't visually pick out the one object I need. I look at my house, see that it's messy, but can't start just one aspect of cleaning. I start to clean the table off, but then put something away in the bathroom and notice that the bathroom is disorganized, so I start doing that... go to put something away in the bedroom and notice that the top of the dresser is cluttered... and it goes on and on. It's hard to explain how those two issues are related, but they are. It's a serious case of can't see the forest for the trees.

But I don't want to spend a lifetime on medication. In some ways, my "big picture" thinking suits me well. I'm a great "Idea Woman." I'm not sure if medication would suppress that, you know?

Maybe it's not either-or. I don't know.


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blizzard_babe* 
Had to do the whirlwind clean this morning because our regular babysitter (whose house we take DS to) is sick, so we had to use our back-up (who comes to our house).

BUT... I did my Motivated Moms chores yesterday. *The kitchen floor, she be mopped.* Not sure how long it's been since that happened. I'm such a perfectionist in some ways... I have a hard time doing just PART of a task like cleaning the house. I'm hoping I can stick to the MM calendar. I have a bit of a history of starting these things, getting overwhelmed by a minor setback, and then quitting because the mountain looks too high, so to speak. I have a feeling some of you ladies know what I'm talking about.

















Yarr! Avast! You've much to be proud of there, Lassie. Now go swab the deck!

Sorry, I'm a little punchy today. My plate is so full I'm gagging. I will be so ready for bed tonight.


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## blizzard_babe (Feb 14, 2007)

Yarr! Be it pirate day?

Every year on "talk like a pirate day," I read the book "How I Became a Pirate" to my class, and we work on map skills and go on a treasure hunt around school.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blizzard_babe* 
I look at a large group of objects (all the stuff on my desk, for example), and can't visually pick out the one object I need. I look at my house, see that it's messy, but can't start just one aspect of cleaning. I start to clean the table off, but then put something away in the bathroom and notice that the bathroom is disorganized, so I start doing that... go to put something away in the bedroom and notice that the top of the dresser is cluttered... and it goes on and on. It's hard to explain how those two issues are related, but they are. It's a serious case of can't see the forest for the trees.

But I don't want to spend a lifetime on medication. In some ways, my "big picture" thinking suits me well. I'm a great "Idea Woman." I'm not sure if medication would suppress that, you know?

ITU!!!! I don't do much house stuff because I have such a hard time even figuring out where to start. Folding laundry doesn't get me very far because I can't get to the dressers for the piles in our bedroom. Which are seasonal clothes, which I packed up last spring/summer in the tub and left in front of the dresser. :doh I have too many clothes. I just got Let Go of Clutter. I think it will be good. I have a hard time getting rid of stuff with sentimental attachment or that my mom is attached to and gives to me (to keep). I need a panicking smilie. Oh yeah,









It's really had because there are books that she's collected for me like John Holt books, that I don't need yet, but I don't have a really good place to store them. We spend out visits sorting stuff from her. I'm getting really tired of it.

Anyway, I will collect a handful of things from the table for the bathroom and pile them on the counter, I don't even turn the light on so I don't get distracted in there. Right now my beading stuff is on at least half the table. and DH's pile of papers, well, what didn't fall in the floor. Grrr.

I realized, I'm not the only one who lives here. He can't blame all this on me. Of course, neither one of have an organized system. And with morning sickness, I've been thrilled he's doing the dishes.

But I totally get not wanting to have to live my whole life on medication. I always feel behind. Hehe, FlyLady's hotspots, eh, that's my whole house, it feels like.

I did like Julie Morgenstern's Organiziation from the Inside out and Time Management. I made a snazzy schedule/spreadsheet of all the things I needed to clean and had time to focus on each hotspot once a week or something like that. And never used it.







But it would be similar to our apt here, just adding some things.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blizzard_babe* 
Yarr! Be it pirate day?

Every year on "talk like a pirate day," I read the book "How I Became a Pirate" to my class, and we work on map skills and go on a treasure hunt around school.

Cool! I love Talk like a Pirate Day!


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## waiting2bemommy (Dec 2, 2007)

I just had to vent here because yet again my life is falling apart....it seems to cycle between everything being great and being a totally stressful disaster. Dh and I found an apartment, but we're behind on our car payment and it's a rent-to-own thing where we pay weekly to build our credit, so as of tomorrow we'll be 2 weeks behind and they are probably going to come after us for the car, but we have no other way to get to work.

FIL won't loan us money for the car payment but will give us 1,000 to buy a beater...the problem is that I bought the car in VA and now we live in PA so I have no idea how I'd get back after dropping the car off. And I started a new job this week and today, the 4th day, ds got a double ear infection with 103 degree temp, so we're home not making money and everything is a mess and i JUST.CANT.THINK.

I'm sick of it. I want to take my medicine (i've been off it for like a week) so I can think again but i can't find it. And I'm too overwhelmed to do anything at all. I don't even want to get up. I'm just totally and completely overwhelmed.


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## blizzard_babe (Feb 14, 2007)

Sorry you're having a rough time... your situation sounds tough. Big ol' hugs.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Oh man, I'm sorry. Praying for you and sending hugs.


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## waiting2bemommy (Dec 2, 2007)

thanks...this morning I found out that the list for child care subsidy is about 6 months....i'm starting to think we will never get out of my IL;s house. I HATE having all 3 of us in a 10 x 12 room. Ourstuff just doesn't fit. It's always a mess; I can't keep it together.


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## mamabohl (May 21, 2005)

((HUGS)) it sounds like life is really hard for you right now. I'm so sorry.


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## Pumpkincat (Jul 11, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *waiting2bemommy* 
thanks...this morning I found out that the list for child care subsidy is about 6 months....i'm starting to think we will never get out of my IL;s house. I HATE having all 3 of us in a 10 x 12 room. Ourstuff just doesn't fit. It's always a mess; I can't keep it together.

I know you do not know me, but i understand what you are going through. i have adhd too, and when things get stressful the symptoms get worse.HUGS!

I was a single mom for a decade with 3 children, one of which has down syndrome, and i had no family support, or time for authentic friendship. I was in university for much of that time too, so i really really understand stress hun.

I want you to remember that this is only a season in your life, with your intention, you can and will change things. I know then you will find it easier to cope and maybe it will be easier not to misplace your meds. I did that once, it took me 6 months to find them. I did get a refill tho, could you get one?

Have you looked into maybe swapping childcare? Perhaps there are connections at a local church or something to that effect?

I am not on meds and my life is pretty messy too, but i am working it out.

peace


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## SquishyBuggles (Dec 19, 2008)

Hi...I don't know if I should be here or not yet as I haven't been diagnosed ADD. I never, EVER suspected that I had it until LAST NIGHT. I was reading something about adult ADD and it fit me to a T. I have been diagnosed with OCD in the past but I've wondered if that was accurate. Now that I am looking into ADD it seems like my OCD behaviors could fit in with that, too. I took an online ADD quiz (I know, online tests are in no way a diagnosis!) and it scored me as having a VERY HIGH possibility to having ADD.
My indicators:
I am VERY spacy. I am a horrible, horrible procrastinator. I am highly unorganized, highly stressed all the time. Very forgetful. I can forget something that someone is saying AS I am speaking to them. I tune things out. I have lots of problems with my short term memory.

There are lots of other things, too. I never knew that these things pointed to ADD, honestly.

Where do I go from here?


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SquishyBuggles* 
Where do I go from here?

Take your time. Check out some books from the library.

You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy? is a classic and is friendly.

Driven to Distraction is also another 'must read'.

Disorders that have symptoms that overlap with adhd: bipolar II, Aspergers, dyspraxia/apraxia, ocd and more, I'm sure.

Check out http://www.psycheducation.org/

=============

Edited to say, specifically at the link above, see this: http://www.psycheducation.org/PCP/handouts/ADHD.htm for a good side-by-side comparison of adhd and bipolar II.


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

I was cut off and meant to post more yesterday.

SquishyBuggles (did I really just type that?







) don't rush to any conclusions. If you can, make an appointment with a psychologist who specializes in adhd, and ask to be tested. Be specific and ask how much experience they have with _adult_ adhd. An adhd 'test' can be as simple as a short questionnaire like you'd find in a magazine, or it can be several pages long, or the doctor might question you face to face. Be open to different conclusions. Like I said, above, adhd can look like other conditions. And you can have more than one condition concurrently.

Have an open mind, and be patient. This is a life-long process. Be willing to try a few different therapists before you find one you are comfortable. You might take medication, you might not. There are different kinds of therapies and diets to consider, as well. My understanding is that while medication can go a long way towards helping a person focus, people who use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy along with medication have much better success and longer lasting success, than those who use medication alone.

Some supportive and informative web sites:

http://www.add.org/

http://www.livingwithadd.com/

And one more book, The Girls' Guide To AD/HD: Don't Lose This Book!

I got this one for my daughter, and for course read it myself. I thought it was very helpful for ME. It described a lot of my childhood and teen experiences with adhd, and it's soooooo nice to read about adhd from a girl's perspective. Adhd literature is still heavily weighted towards boys.


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

double post


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Hey blizzard_babe!!

How's your LO? Can you believe they're so old already?









(we were DDC buddies)


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## blizzard_babe (Feb 14, 2007)

I've been so-so on Motivated Moms lately. BUT, and this is the important part, when I missed a few days, I just folded that page down and started fresh this week. This is a big deal for me.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 
Hey blizzard_babe!!

How's your LO? Can you believe they're so old already?









(we were DDC buddies)

HI HI HI! How the heck are ya?


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Oh, you know.

Here, barely holding it together. As usual.

Life's good.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Hi everybody.

sorry I haven't been around. Taking care of a child(baby) in my home has entirely eaten up my world. But starting next week, I'll only have him three days a week, which will be a vast improvement.

I was getting so completely stressed, I was thinking about going back on meds again even though I sadi I wouldn't until I was done nursing, but when my sister looked up all the meds in her PDR, they're all Class C! I have always tried to change my life style when my world gets too stressful, instead of medicating, but I was ready to throw the baby out a window. That's bad, especially when it's not your baby.









So get this! I got the Motivated Mom's thing, and I CAN"T FIND IT! I mean I got the PDF download, and I can't find it!







How did I lose a DOWNLOAD???????????

And I was so excited.









waiting2Bmommy, how are you doing?

Maggirayne, how's the babe?


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## BlueStateMama (Apr 12, 2004)

Any chance of a new thread, or should I read 27 pages (y'all know how big an undertaking that is for mamas like us - procrastination and fear of failure = zero progress for me, these days!!)

Hi everyone...I was initial diagnosed with profound anxiety, and with an excellent psychologist realized (and OMG, did it FIT with the rest of my life, grade school through law school) that I have ADD as well. Actually, that's in large part what sets off anxiety - lack of filters.

I'm on meds (adderall - I tried Vyvanse and it just wasn't effective for me, that and strattera)- without them I'm a trainwreck. Just glad to have found this thread!


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## SquishyBuggles (Dec 19, 2008)

Thanks for all of the links and info. I made an appointment with my doctor for tomorrow..hopefully he can refer me to someone that can help!


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## sharon.gmc (Nov 17, 2008)

I was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome. My eldest has mild case of ADD. I'm lucky that I have a very patient and understanding and sweet husband.


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## Pumpkincat (Jul 11, 2008)

Well, what i have to say may not be very popular here, but i will share what a psychiatrist and I discussed and decided.

I am breastfeeding my son, and I am having a hell of a time with my ADHD and all that comes with having that. So, she put me on ritalin, even tho i am breastfeeding.

There are NO human studies on pregnancy or breastfeeding mothers and the use of ritalin, however there is an animal study done using pregnant mice. Can you believe that, that this is the ONLY study?! I know that exposing pregnant and breastfeeding mothers would be a completely unethical study to undertake, but you would think that there was some type of information on the subject.

The results of the mice study was that there was a small effect on the offspring if the ritalin exposure was far higher than would be used by a human being.

Basically, the recommended course of action there is to take a pro vs con approach.

It is known by the psychiatrist that I am a very responsible person with medication and my children, so she recommended that I take ritalin as needed 10 mg at a time. I am very sensitive, so this is typically all I need for very bad days where i cannot seem to control my propensity to hyperfocus (to the detriment of all who depend on me). It is imperitive that I be able to disengage and to stay on task when i need to.

It ultra difficult to run a family of 7 for anyone, but especially for someone who has ADHD, and whose husband is not the patient sort and who works all the time. I also have no family support, so i basically do it all on my own.

Having meds is vital, i just cannot get things running smoothly unmedicated, hell even medicated it is an incredible challange.

My children are also very very disorganized, so i am working hard to teach them better and to manage themselves. One has been diagnosed with adhd on top of down syndrome (but i am not convinced,) another with anxiety (but i am positive she has distractable type ADHD as a primary issue) my youngest daughter is going through assessment, the doc thinks she may be ODD, i am unsure about that, but i say definately ADHD. So can you see, the absolute importance of being medicated?

When my son is finished nursing, i will be going back on wellbutrin, which does have an undesired effect on babies. Actually, the only thing i seen happen with my son and using the little dose of ritalin i do use (and very infrequently) is that he was over sleepy most of the day on two occassions.

I think the coffee i drink to self medicate has more of an effect on him than the ritalin does.

I do tend to look at mental health and functioning very deeply because i majored in psychology in university and have minors in woman's studies and sociology. I really hope to go back to school and get my graduate degree. School was very hard for me, but also kept me sane because my mind was being fed on a regular basis.

I am really trying not to go off topic here, so i will end this post. I hope this helps someone else.


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

I have a theory about ADD/ADHD. I think that back when we lived in very family-centered communities, ADHD wasn't such a big deal. We were the distracted, intellectual people, who were allowed to wander around and do what needed to be done and hyperfocus, because we had family and friends always there to pick up the slack. So there was never any real slack, you know?

But now that we live in such a decentralized society (at least here, in the US) with more focus on the workplace than on the home, we have trouble fitting in. Because now, we're supposed to be fitting into this mold of "modern woman" who has the kids, the job, and still manages to look good doing it (







: who DOES that, right??).

Anyways, that's my theory - society's screwed up, not us. What we need is a community.

Sharon, my DH is (undiagnosed) Asperger's. You're in good company.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
but I was ready to throw the baby out a window. That's bad, especially when it's not your baby.









So get this! I got the Motivated Mom's thing, and I CAN"T FIND IT! I mean I got the PDF download, and I can't find it!







How did I lose a DOWNLOAD???????????

Maggirayne, how's the babe?

Ugh, I know the feeling. I was babysitting a 3yo and 1 yo and the 3 yo was just getting to be too much, pushing and biting my DD.







So he went to a daycare center with kids his age, which has been good, and then watched the little one for 2 more months until morning sickness and being tired just wore me out too much. And it was only 3 days a week.









Did you look in the Downloads folder? If you use Firefox, it saves all downloads to your desktop. The file is titled 2002 Book Motivated Moms, I think I just took the %20% out and put in spaces.

Baby is doing great. Elisabeth is so little, but she talks to the baby and kisses my tummy. She loooooves babies! I borrowed the HypnoBabies course from a friend and am excited about that. He's been kicking. We aren't finding out, but I think we've got a boy. Just a feeling. All the time w/DD, I called the baby she/her, and she was.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BlueStateMama* 
Any chance of a new thread, or should I read 27 pages (y'all know how big an undertaking that is for mamas like us - procrastination and fear of failure = zero progress for me, these days!!)

Hi everyone...I was initial diagnosed with profound anxiety, and with an excellent psychologist realized (and OMG, did it FIT with the rest of my life, grade school through law school) that I have ADD as well. Actually, that's in large part what sets off anxiety - lack of filters.

I'm on meds (adderall - I tried Vyvanse and it just wasn't effective for me, that and strattera)- without them I'm a trainwreck. Just glad to have found this thread!

Hi! BlueStateMama, welcome!
Well, it depends what you're searching for. This is a mix of info and chit-chat. And oh, what else, well, anything a bunch of fun ADD mamas throw out.







But you can search for supplements or meds or chores or ideas. And, for me, I like to have the threads set on 100 posts instead of 20, and then they aren't so dauntingly long. This one is only 6 pages long. Or just start asking questions. Most of us are still here. This isn't a thread you grow out of. Haha!

You can post your to do list, and we'll cheer with you.
Which is what I came to do this morning!









Quote:


Originally Posted by *sharon.gmc* 
I was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome. My eldest has mild case of ADD. I'm lucky that I have a very patient and understanding and sweet husband.

Welcome, ask away! We have fun here.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SquishyBuggles* 
Hi...I don't know if I should be here or not yet as I haven't been diagnosed ADD. I never, EVER suspected that I had it until LAST NIGHT. I was reading something about adult ADD and it fit me to a T. I have been diagnosed with OCD in the past but I've wondered if that was accurate. Now that I am looking into ADD it seems like my OCD behaviors could fit in with that, too. I took an online ADD quiz (I know, online tests are in no way a diagnosis!) and it scored me as having a VERY HIGH possibility to having ADD.
My indicators:
I am VERY spacy. I am a horrible, horrible procrastinator. I am highly unorganized, highly stressed all the time. Very forgetful. I can forget something that someone is saying AS I am speaking to them. I tune things out. I have lots of problems with my short term memory.

Welcome! I found out I was ADD when I was in college an studying Exceptional Children or one of those classes and started going, "Huh? This sounds like me!"

Okay, my list for today:
Wash sheets
Sort piles in bedroom
Get rid of!
Fold laundry? nah, Sat, gotta make room, lol
Pack most of E's diapers, since she's out of them!







:
Make a meal for a friend and deliver
Playdate after lunch whee!


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Okay, my list for today: Moved to Saturday








*Done yesterday!*
Pack most of E's diapers, since she's out of them!







:
Make a meal for a friend and deliver
Playdate after lunch whee!
Get rid of! One bag gone!

*Today!*
Wash sheets
Sort piles in bedroom
Fold laundry? nah, Sat, gotta make room, lol

I'm debating if I should keep some out for nighttime, since she's not consistently dry all the time, but wets maybe 2x a week? Sigh. But she doesn't mind wearing them, but I think it's easier to potty in the morning w/o a dipe.


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 
I have a theory about ADD/ADHD. I think that back when we lived in very family-centered communities, ADHD wasn't such a big deal. We were the distracted, intellectual people, who were allowed to wander around and do what needed to be done and hyperfocus, because we had family and friends always there to pick up the slack. So there was never any real slack, you know?

But now that we live in such a decentralized society (at least here, in the US) with more focus on the workplace than on the home, we have trouble fitting in. Because now, we're supposed to be fitting into this mold of "modern woman" who has the kids, the job, and still manages to look good doing it (







: who DOES that, right??).

Anyways, that's my theory - society's screwed up, not us. What we need is a community.

Sharon, my DH is (undiagnosed) Asperger's. You're in good company.









I say amen!

Pumpkinkat, you've got your hands full, for sure. You are nursing your 10 month old? Is he taking any solids or is he exclusively breastfed? If you're not nursing him exclusively, the risk is mitigated.

This might be unpopular to say, but would you consider weaning him before you start Ritalin? Maybe the benefits would be worth weaning?


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## mamabohl (May 21, 2005)

Hey everyone! Welcome to the new "faces." We've been house hunting and we're about to find out the sex of the baby. i had an ultrasound friday at the hospital but I'm actually three weeks behind where they thought and things were hard to see...they thought girl but not sure. I'm going to a fun 3d ultrasound on wednesday and we will know for sure then cuz this lady really knows what she's doing.

We got the house SOOOO clean last weekend but now it's already a mess again, *sigh.*

We need to file our tax returns this week too, my W-2 finally came.

I'll try to post a to-do list tomorrow, I don't have time this morning. Gotta meet the realtor at the first house in 2 hours!


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Journeymom, I love your Siggy: How we spend our days is how we spend our years.

Mamabohl, what a fun week! House-hunting is a long process! How many weeks are you?

I'm at 24 weeks today!







Where did the time go? And have hit a huge grumpy/hormone time. Sigh. Or else DH has. 

Well, I saw on another forum a get-rid-of-2009 things in 2009, and woohoo, I got inspired! I also made a list of stuff I need to do before baby comes.

So far this week:
I got rid of a ton of non-nursing/pregnant friendly clothes
Sorted my winter and summer clothes and got rid of a ton
Sorted all DD's 2T clothes (got rid of a bunch of stuff I didn't like or use)
Packed up her diapers (she is in underwear almost 24/7 at 21 months, thank God for EC!















Got new baby's diaper stash ready (I've got small tubs I keep them in)
Got a bunch of stuff to put on DS (which I didn't count toward my tunnel)
Sorted Laundry
Am working on folding the clean pile that swallowed my loveseat









Yay, I got it done and mostly put away.
Now my bed is under a pile of clothes to hang and put in drawers.

*To Do:*
_Must Do_
Get Twin bed to put next to ours
Get birth kit
Go through toys
Figure out somewhere to put baby's clothes

Finish cleaning house
Clean second bedroom--sort tons of boxes 

_Wanna Do:_
Post more books on PaperBackSwap
Finish painting detail on a desk I started stripping right before I got pg w/DD








Get drawers of desk shaved down so they fit back in

For my total _this week,_ I am up to 114 things to get rid of!!!!







:


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## mamabohl (May 21, 2005)

Oh I'm doing 2009 in 2009 too! So far I have decluttered 31 items, lol.

I'm almost 18 weeks now, I thought I was at 20 last week but then the ultrasound showed me at around 17ish.

I'm sure the grumpiness is your dh.









We are loving house hunting. We've already looked at 19 houses in 1 week!!

Today I need to

make empanandas for dinner (I love love this meal, but it takes soooo long, ug)
write the grocery list and I guess go grocery shopping tonight or have dh do it
Do lots of dishes
Pick up
turn off the dang TV.







:


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## mamabohl (May 21, 2005)

oh, I forgot to add that I did get a shower today and file taxes.


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

OMG, taxes.







:

My DH is convinced, after a thorough reading of the US Tax Code (don't ask







), that the government is taxing us illegally according to their definitions, so he's declaring "no income" on taxes this year. I told him fine, do what he wants, but we're declaring my income.

Someone has to take care of Toby when he gets arrested.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 
OMG, taxes.







:

My DH is convinced, after a thorough reading of the US Tax Code (don't ask







), that the government is taxing us illegally according to their definitions, so he's declaring "no income" on taxes this year. I told him fine, do what he wants, but we're declaring my income.

Someone has to take care of Toby when he gets arrested.

















:

BTW- I happen to agree with you about our society being the part that's messed up, not us. And if we had that community you'de like, we wouldn't have to pay taxes!









Well, I looked again for that file, and I can't find it anywhere.







:

So today this is me-







: I'm JUST a mommy today!(and a wife/housekeeper/cook/member of the clergy/soon to be student again)

OOPs, there goes Milo! bye!


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamabohl* 
oh, I forgot to add that I did get a shower today and file taxes.









Yay, I wanna get a shower. I should have yesterday before church, but I hate going out in the cold with wet hair. And I hate showering in the morning. I loooove long hot baths, I wish maybe tonight? Hmm, I gotta do some shopping tonight, or tomorrow. We have one car while DH's going to get fixed. I'm rather spoiled; I like having my own car. So we play car tag.

Taxes, I'm glad DH does them. I guess I did do okay the one year I worked and wasn't in college and wasn't married.







My dad did mine all through college. Which was nice and easy.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamabohl* 
Oh I'm doing 2009 in 2009 too! So far I have decluttered 31 items, lol.

Yay! Are you on GCM or is there one going on in the forums here?

Is anyone else here on GCM?

Quote:

I'm almost 18 weeks now, I thought I was at 20 last week but then the ultrasound showed me at around 17ish.
Hey, better earlier than later. All I hear about people getting pushed to induce. You're not overdue until 42 weeks and 1 DAY!







:

I lost track around Christmas and said I was 17 weeks for like three weeks and when I had my Jan. appt w/my MW I was 21 weeks.









Quote:

I'm sure the grumpiness is your dh.























Thanks. It is a bit of both. I was reading in the May DDC and someone asked if there was a huge hormone surge/mood change at 6 mos pg. And everyone was like yeah, at 24 or 26 weeks I turned into a mean ol' lady. I don't recall that with DD the first time around. Did you, Heidi?

Quote:

We are loving house hunting. We've already looked at 19 houses in 1 week!!
How can you keep them all straight?! We looked at 5 one day and shew!








Have you seen any you like?
IMO, houses are like spouses, when you find the right one, you know. But then we haven't found our house, so. . .









Quote:

Today I need to

make empanandas for dinner (I love love this meal, but it takes soooo long, ug)
write the grocery list and I guess go grocery shopping tonight or have dh do it
Do lots of dishes
Pick up
turn off the dang TV.







:
Yay, DH got the dishwasher done so we can put dirty dishes straight in. It's usually got clean dishes.
I make Mexican hotdish that is really good and really easy, I can post the recipe if anyone's interested.
Sigh, I'm lying on the couch and wondering if I put PBS on for DD if she be quiet and let me rest.







.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 
My DH is convinced, after a thorough reading of the US Tax Code (don't ask







), that the government is taxing us illegally according to their definitions, so he's declaring "no income" on taxes this year. I told him fine, do what he wants, but we're declaring my income.

Eeek. Altho' I kinda think taxes are unconstitutional, they were originally only for paying for the Revolutionary War, but I like paved roads and snow removal and well, enough things I don't worry about it.

Altho' I so don't get why it's a graduated tax and not uniform, but oh well.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
And if we had that community you'd like, we wouldn't have to pay taxes!









ITA Personally, I think if people in churches took care of those like the early church did, there would be no need for welfare or unemployment or foster care or homeless shelters or. . . you get the idea. But we, and I include myself, don't think or live like that. I want to be able to offer a place to a teen mom to have her baby and help her change and keep her baby if she wants. I would love to create a community where single moms can work and be close to their kids and don't have to choose daycare. And where families live and grow their own food and help each other instead of this ridiculous isolated culture we live in.
Okay, Dream over.

Quote:

Well, I looked again for that file, and I can't find it anywhere.







:
Heidi, don't be like me, just download it again.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

I am too dang stubborn to download it again, and pay for it. Hrmph. Maybe if I emailed them andpled my case, they'd take pitty on me and send me a new one?









I share our dream, seriously, our wolrd has its priorities SOOOOOO off base by now, I think it's hopeless.

As for 24-27 weeks- I was pregnant then? I can hardly remember them. I was probably a witch on wheels the whole stinkin' time!









Well, I foprgopt to add thaty I've hired a mother's helper. !!!!!!! I'm so happy. She came over today, and I got Henry's room picked up, and VACUUMED!!! all in the same day! (where's the shining your fingernails on your sleeve smiley?) So three days a week, I will have an jour or two when I cannot under any circumstances make any excuses, I must clean!


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

Motivated Moms download: I think they'd make a tidy sum if they'd offer loss insurance. You could pay an additional $1 when you first pay for it, then when you loose it you can download it again, one time, for free.


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 
OMG, taxes.







:

My DH is convinced, after a thorough reading of the US Tax Code (don't ask







), that the government is taxing us illegally according to their definitions, so he's declaring "no income" on taxes this year. I told him fine, do what he wants, but we're declaring my income.

Someone has to take care of Toby when he gets arrested.









I love that.









I happen to agree.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
I am too dang stubborn to download it again, and pay for it. Hrmph. Maybe if I emailed them andpled my case, they'd take pitty on me and send me a new one?









As for 24-27 weeks- I was pregnant then? I can hardly remember them. I was probably a witch on wheels the whole stinkin' time!









Well, I foprgopt to add thaty I've hired a mother's helper. !!!!!!! I'm so happy. She came over today, and I got Henry's room picked up, and VACUUMED!!! all in the same day! (where's the shining your fingernails on your sleeve smiley?) So three days a week, I will have an jour or two when I cannot under any circumstances make any excuses, I must clean!









Yay! Hmm, ya know, I do have friend who's daughter goes to middle school fairly close-ish, if she could get a ride to my place, or for having the help, I suppose I could pick her up, duh, she could be here an afternoon a week. And I could maybe nap or do whatever uninterrupted. Hmm. . .
And Elisabeth just loved her, the girl and her mom stopped by the other day. Altho' I don't if I can justify it now, well, considering I was so frustrated with E I wanted to spank her earlier today, and then maybe I wouldn't feel like checking out when DH comes home, and I just let him play with her. . .

Oh, I didn't realize you'd paid for the download. I would suggest emailing and explaining or asking for the file name so you can run a search for it.


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## kittynurse (Jun 29, 2005)

Sorry for crashing right in here (although, if anyone at MDC would be understanding of that, it would be you guys right?







)

I was diagnosed with ADHD in the Summer 2007 as an adult. I had an 8 month old at the time so I didn't go on meds. Things have gotten really bad for me and I find I can't cope with life most days. I also have an SN child and I'm stretched incredibly thin.

So, I'm thinking I really so try the meds. But I'm terrified. What tests do I need to have done beforehand to make sure I don't drop dead? How do you decide which meds to take? What happens if you go off the meds? Is it possible or are you stuck taking them forever?

Sorry this seems so irrational, I'm a bit of a mess right now.

Martha


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Hey, welcome! Jump right on in! And yes, we do understand!









I can answer any questions re: meds. But some of the other gals can!


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kittynurse* 
Sorry for crashing right in here (although, if anyone at MDC would be understanding of that, it would be you guys right?







)

I was diagnosed with ADHD in the Summer 2007 as an adult. I had an 8 month old at the time so I didn't go on meds. Things have gotten really bad for me and I find I can't cope with life most days. I also have an SN child and I'm stretched incredibly thin.

So, I'm thinking I really so try the meds. But I'm terrified. What tests do I need to have done beforehand to make sure I don't drop dead? How do you decide which meds to take? What happens if you go off the meds? Is it possible or are you stuck taking them forever?

Sorry this seems so irrational, I'm a bit of a mess right now.

Martha


Here's me leaping into action-







Well, my brain is anyway! Crash away! We welcome you!









Please, please, DON'T be terrified. The only tests you really need done sound like they've been done already- diagnostic tests by a qualified psychologist. If you've been diagnosed, have a few more tests run to rule out other possible diagnoses that might change the way you sould use medicines. Many adults with ADD are successfully traeted with anti-depressants first, and then when the depression passes, stimulants and anti anxiety meds.

From what I understand none of these carry death as a significant side effect risk. And yes it's possible to go off of them, I did. And if circumstances conspire against me, I will consider (am considering) going back on them.

As for being stretched thin, and irrational, I can almost guarrantee you that every parent ever has felt that way, even 'normals'! Some people hide it well, others lie! You are probably doing better than you realise.

Find some support! Well, we're here, but YKWIM, real life helping hands to fill in where you can't be.

Keep us posted, and we'd love to hear about your DC.









*CHANGE OF SUBJECT*

What do we think about starting a new thread? We're nowhere near the posts limit, but it IS unweildy for newcomers. I haveno idea how to do a poll, so please just post your vote. We'll stay in this forum most likely, unless you all feel we should move.

Thanks,
Heidi


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## flminivanmama (Nov 21, 2001)

i'm fine with that... just make sure a link to the new thread is posted


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Ditto Andrea.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

And that the new thread has a link to this one.
Good idea!

What if we did a monthly chatty thread? Just to throw out another idea to make all us ADDers







:







Hehe!


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

And that the new thread has a link to this one.
Good idea!

What if we did a monthly chatty thread? Just to throw out another idea to make all us ADDers







:







Hehe!


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Decisive!

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...8#post13174828


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## Pumpkincat (Jul 11, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *journeymom* 

Pumpkinkat, you've got your hands full, for sure. You are nursing your 10 month old? Is he taking any solids or is he exclusively breastfed? If you're not nursing him exclusively, the risk is mitigated.

This might be unpopular to say, but would you consider weaning him before you start Ritalin? Maybe the benefits would be worth weaning?

Yes, he is a boy who loves to eat food. The doctor told me that until I wean i should only take a 10mg ritalin as needed, after he is weaned I go on wellbutrin and a higher dose of ritalin.

Ideally, having him weaned before i take any sort of medication would be optimal. However, he is so attached to nursing at this point in his life, i think it would be very traumatic on him to stop.

The doctor took the pro vs con approach and told me i should take this small amount once a day. So far, i have taken one 10 mg pill in the last 3 weeks. So I am doing ok there.

I probably could should have taken more, as i have not been able to keep up or keep my mind focused. Except the last 2 days, i have been more productive because i am keeping my bible open to some verses that are helping me get more done. Albeit, only some. Any change is good, right?

I too like your quote. It is very motivating, kinda like some of the verses i have been reading.


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## Pumpkincat (Jul 11, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maggirayne* 

ITA Personally, I think if people in churches took care of those like the early church did, there would be no need for welfare or unemployment or foster care or homeless shelters or. . . you get the idea. But we, and I include myself, don't think or live like that. I want to be able to offer a place to a teen mom to have her baby and help her change and keep her baby if she wants. I would love to create a community where single moms can work and be close to their kids and don't have to choose daycare. And where families live and grow their own food and help each other instead of this ridiculous isolated culture we live in.
Okay, Dream over.

I have some of these same thoughts. I had spent many years as a single mom.I am married now, but my husband is gone so much and we have so little money, it is very similar to when i was still a single mother. You know, the lack of money and being responsible for all of the childcare/homecare/homemaking etc. I have it in my heart to start some programs that do not exist in my community. There are supports and services that I have really needed that just are not available.

The early churches did help folks, but they also split people into groups such as the deserving and undeserving poor. They did reject those they deemed as undeserving. Hmmm, that still happens, doesn't it?

I really do long for change too. I wish that parents could stay home and generate income that way, with thier children next to them, assisting and learning their craft and skills. we really have lost that as a culture.

I am actually trying to teach myself to sew, garden, preserve, and to be more self reliant, as i feel these are very important skills to have and to pass on.

Many wisdoms are being lost, especially in native cultures. I live in an area that has a very high native population, so i see the effect of this, and it is heartbreaking. The people need their culture back. I know some who are working on this, but it is difficult being that something as vital as language is lost. There is no one who speaks the language indigenous this specific region. the people are being taught languages from first nations communities close to here, but not the original one. One of the most effective ways to destroy a culture is to take their language. This happened in Ireland, and has happened here in Canada with residential schools. My friend's father has scars on his arms from where pins were inserted by the nuns when he spoke his own language as a young boy. He could not speak any other language.

This is sad, very very sad indeed.

Yeah, i went off topic, i tend to do that, sorry. But I just wanted to say that the price we all pay for the loss of community is high, and i totally agree with all who mentioned it in this thread.


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## Pumpkincat (Jul 11, 2008)

i see you ladies quoting multiple people, but i cannot see how to do that in one post. How do i do this?


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

By clicking on the little button between the Quote button and the Quick Reply button. It turns orange.


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## jessjgh1 (Nov 4, 2004)

Oh, goodness.... I will be going through this thread.
I've been going through a screening for ADD and I'm not sure if it fits or if I just have executive management disorder (or something else entirely). I can't take the meds to find out if they help (don't feel comfortable since dd is breastfeeding).

But I've been meaning to search for some kind of thread like that here, and happened upon this today.

Jessica


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Pumpkincat* 
Yes, he is a boy who loves to eat food. The doctor told me that until I wean i should only take a 10mg ritalin as needed, after he is weaned I go on wellbutrin and a higher dose of ritalin.

Ideally, having him weaned before i take any sort of medication would be optimal. However, he is so attached to nursing at this point in his life, i think it would be very traumatic on him to stop.

The doctor took the pro vs con approach and told me i should take this small amount once a day. So far, i have taken one 10 mg pill in the last 3 weeks. So I am doing ok there.

I probably could should have taken more, as i have not been able to keep up or keep my mind focused. Except the last 2 days, i have been more productive because i am keeping my bible open to some verses that are helping me get more done. Albeit, only some. Any change is good, right?

Yay for progress! Yes, any is good. I think we're all over on the new thread, or heading there.

Heidi posted this for someone else, you could ask in BFing if someone has a Hale's Medication and Mother's Milk.
"My sister looked up the meds commonly used for ADD/ADHD in her PDR (Physician's Desk reference) and they are mostly class C for pregnancy/nursing, which means if the benefits outweigh the risks FOR YOU, it's ok to take them under supervision. I'm right where you are right now, but I'm chosen to jsut muddle through. Good luck making your decision!"

I have a friend who's been on Wellbutrin and nursed. Baby is just a little crabbier.
http://kellymom.com/health/meds/anti...hale10-02.html
http://www.kellymom.com/health/meds/...ssant-ref.html

This is Hale's website:
http://toxnet.nlm.nih.gov/cgi-bin/sis/htmlgen?LACT


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

ok, you know what the problem with finding systems that help my brain function is?

I







: loose the systems all the







: time.

I have found the greatest little calendar with the right colors and size space to right and format but usually I have to spend 30 min looking for it when I need it. I have 3 kids, I do not have 30 min several times a day too look for a







: calendar.



















WWYD?


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

What kind of calendar is it? A wall calendar? A book-type?

I would make a home for it and every.time.you.use.it, put it back there. On a shelf or a spot on your kitchen counter, close where you work and record things. I want to get a wide paper/envelope holder. Sorta like this.

And, BTW, we're all over here, in case you're wondering, we're all over here now because this thread was so long.


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## mom2my3boyz (Mar 16, 2009)

I was recently diagnosed with ADD. I'm on Adderall XR for that. I was always forgetting things, getting distracted, not getting things done, etc. The medicine has really helped.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Welcome, Amanda. This one was so long we started a new thread:
https://www.mothering.com/discussion...1040857&page=2

Come join us!


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## Joyfulmom4 (Feb 20, 2004)

Hi. I am jumping in here. I haven't introduced myself yet, but have checked out this tribe a few times. I'm not real active on the boards so my apologies for just barging in and begging for help, but I really need some advice.

Unfortunately, I need it very quickly, so I don't know if anyone will read this soon enough to help. But here goes...

I need help talking with my supervisior and administrator about my ADD and my job performance.









Background. I work in healthcare. I have a great job which is quite flexible and quite interesting. But with the flexibility comes a lot of change, in schedule and routine, etc. Which I struggle a bit to keep up with, but it's good b/c it keeps me interested.

But I have a really, really hard time with punctuality. I always have been time-challenged. I struggled to be on time every single day. And I am late more often than not. Most of the time it's 5 or 10 min. But sometimes it's longer. And I'm not just late getting to work in the morning, I have trouble with lunch and dinner breaks, etc. It's been a problme my whole life and I still fight it.

I don't need any advice on what to do to be on time. (Well, I might, but that's not the reason I'm posting.) I try lots of stuff and it helps for awhile, but eventually I get distracted or the new cues/alarms/reminders/whatever become too familiar and cease to motivate me. When I'm focusing really hard on it, I do fairly well. But as soon as I let my guard down even a little, I start to slide.

The same thing goes for other attention-based elements of work. I can lose track of time at work too. Or get absorbed in something and not hear what someone is saying. Or if I hear it, it just "goes right in one ear and out the other". Or I hear and start to do the task and then something pulls me away and I don't get back on task. And this is the same as the tardy thing. With great effort, I can compensate. But as soon as I'm not focusing on those efforts, I am back at square one.

And that's the problem. I do great awhile. Then I start to slip. Then people start getting annoyed. Then eventually they're annoyed enough that my supervisor talks to me. Then I focus super hard and pull it all together for awhile, but I can't keep up the superhuman effort forever. I have a dh working full-time and four kids and some assorted life stresses that demand my attention too. When I have to focus so much energy on work, I can't focus as much in other places. And eventually those other parts of my life start to get crazy and disorganized enough that I can no longer maintain the intensive focus at work.

And you can see where this is going right? It's around and around the same old tired track. So now my supervisor is frustrated. Why can't she just talk to me once and have it stay "fixed". She is frustrated (and everyone else) that I do fine for awhile and then she has to talk to me again.

I understand. I really do. I feel frustrated too. But I *know* there's no FIX for me. I just have to keep plugging along and doing the best I can and trying not to overextend myself so there's enough of me to perform well in all areas, etc. And I'm totally NOT trying to make excuses. I'm not saying "this is the way I am so take it or leave it". But I know that I will always struggle. And so I don't know how to respond to this. I don't know what to say.

My supervisor asked what she could do to help. I said that I thought I would benefit from more frequent reminders or feedback, so that if my performance started to slip noticeably, then I would be given a reminder *sooner* so people wouldn't get so frustrated and I could maybe focus back in faster. But she just says, "but I talk to you and it changes only a little while and then it's back to the same thing". And that's where she doesn't understand. She thinks I should just change *permanently* as a result of being talked to. But I can't. I'm trying. But I would need complete rewiring. Yet, I am trying. The evidence of that is that I *do* respond to feedback. If I can't make permanent change, then is it possible that *ongoing* feedback might be a reasonable solution?

Any other ideas?

For the record, my job record is otherwise great. Patients and staff like me. I'm perceived as a hard worker, patient, cheerful, energetic, approachable, sensitive, smart, etc. All good reports in everthing else. Just no sense of time and very distractable so I get off-task or forget stuff.

How do I talk to them w/o sounding like I'm just making excuses for bad behavior or laziness? How do I let them know I care a lot, but I struggle really hard to achieve this? Can anyone think of ways I can work better with my employer/staff/peers in this regard?


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## jessjgh1 (Nov 4, 2004)

Catharine,
((Hugs)) kudos to you for being so honest about the situation and looking for solutions. I just wanted to clarify something that might end up being useful to others... Have you told your supervisor you have ADD? If not, is there a reason you would decide not to tell your supervisor?
I'm really new with all of this, so not the person to be dishing out advice, but I would guess that if you have a good relationship with your supervisor (which it sounds like you do) if she understood the ADD more, it would be easier to come up with an appropriate way to assist you. And I'm pretty sure there are resources out there specific to job situations and resources for employees and supervisors....

Good luck, and note that we're also on another thread as this one was getting pretty long... here's that link:
ADD Support Thread II
https://www.mothering.com/discussion....php?t=1040857


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## Joyfulmom4 (Feb 20, 2004)

THanks Jessjgh1. I will go check out the new thread. Should I copy my post there? Guess I will. And yes, my supervisor does know about the add. I have talked about it at work before when I have talked about some of these recurring issues. We are always rotating the staff we work with and so I never have the same assistant every day and that makes it all even harder. Some assistants are really good with me, they know how to keep me on track and are comfortable approaching me and making requests, giving reminders, being very assertive, etc. I do a better job when I am paired with someone who understands how to work best with me. Others who are more shy or quiet or less comfortable with the amount of leadership they need to assert or are fearful of approaching or reminding me, well when we work together, things get really disjointed. Mind you, that is NOT a criticism of anyone. I don't work with any assistants who I think are less than excellent at what they do. It's just a personality thing. My fave assistant was a nurse who used to joke about being my "coach" for the day. lol! She was so awesome. She made the days go great b/c she brought out the best in me. I sure miss her (she took another job).

But gee, am I ever rambling... lol! I'm told that's an add trait too. So you all will understand, right?

Anyhoo... off to the other thread.


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## gabysmom617 (Nov 26, 2005)

Hi people:

2 kids has been seriously whipping my butt lately. I'm overwhelmed and then when I get overwhelmed, I shut down, and life become piles of overdue and half done procrastinated stuff piling up around me.

I'm so depressed. I been on Zoloft but it's just not cutting it.

My youngest one is 5 months old and exlusively breastfed. Does anyone take ad/hd meds while breastfeeding? I'm seriously drawing a blank as to what to do. Should I not take meds and provide my youngest what is best, or do I take meds, risk making my supply dwindle, but at least my kids have a halfway together mom who can interact with them, keep a house halfway decent enough for them to thrive in and have enough motivation to take them out to the park or somewhere every now and again?


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Hey Sonya, we're all over on the other thread, so that's why you've gotten no answers. We miss you.

Go to this thread!


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