# I'm starving my 16 mo old...



## lkmiscnet (Jan 12, 2009)

He has nothing to eat. I just can't cook. I was always timid of being a mom because I was afraid of what I was going to feed a child and now that has come to pass.

I have a handful of rotating meals that I cook (frozen stir fry, pasta, frozen organic pizza) for DH and me and many nights either DH doesn't eat, saying he's not hungry, or I eat a bowl of cereal. We also go out to eat maybe twice a week because DH coerces me. I am also a vegetarian, but eat seafood. Also, DH doesn't know how to cook AT ALL, so he is of no help in the kitchen.

Our 16 mo old is still on homemade pureed food and store bought organic jarred stage 2 because he won't eat most other things I make for DH and me and I just don't know what to make for him. However, when we eat out, he eats quite a bit off my fork, particularly salmon, since that is usually what I order when eating out. When I try to make salmon at home, it never turns out like at the restaurant. It's overcooked and dry no matter how I make it.

Most recipes I try to follow don't turn out well. I couldn't even cook a pancake from a mix this morning as the whole thing stuck to the pan when I tried to use coconut oil and it fell apart in crumbs (as did I after yet another meal didn't turn out)...

And, I don't even know where I would find the time to cook. I use naptime to either nap myself or to take a shower, check e-mail or do housework (which I'm also failing at).

On weekends, we are so busy running around doing errands or I'm working on house projects and I don't want to spend hours in the kitchen. And, we have a lousy fridge that doesn't have much room and I have to strategically stack and balance things in there just to get them to fit. Our freezer is filled with bags of frozen veggies and everytime I open the door, something falls out. So, I am not motivated to cook either because there is no room for anything. I throw away so much food that has rotted because it's hidden in the fridge, which makes buying ingredients for cooking a struggle.

The ped says that our DS is on the verge of failure to thrive (that's on another older post). He had not lost weight previously (was in the 3rd percentile), but I think he's lost weight in the past couple of months. He wears 9 mo old pants. The 12 mo size slides off him. He's probably just under 19 lbs now, but I'll wait to worry until his check up in a month. We are still BFing, but he can't be getting enough calories from BM.

He will eat avocado, but I can't feed that to him for every meal. I've tried oatmeal, yogurt with applesauce...He just doesn't like them, so I don't know what to feed him for breakfast. For lunch, I've been giving him bites of my almond butter and jam toast, but that is not great nutritionally for a baby. I also cannot get his liquid vitamin/iron supplement in him when he won't eat things I can't squirt the dosage in, so I'm worried that he's going to be impacted by that as well, particularly his iron level.

He drinks only 4 oz of coconut or cow's milk per day. And that's with me offering it throughout the day.

We are finally going to a feeding clinic next week just to rule out any physiological causes.

But, I'm still getting very depressed over my lack of being able to provide nutritionally for our DS and have little patience for meal times when DS won't eat.

I feel like a failure as a mom. For various other reasons, I just don't think I'm doing a good job with him, even though I'm a SAHM and have no excuse.

Guess I am just really feeling low after yet another unsuccessful feeding attempt and just needed a safe place to vent.


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## GoBecGo (May 14, 2008)

Well, i see nothing insurmountable here!

You need to get motivated, get organised and get creative.

You already feel bad about this so there is your motivation right there. You ALL need to eat well for health. It's all very well feeling bad about the baby not eating well, is it ok if his mom gets colon cancer from a lifelong poor diet? No, of course not, so NOW is when you learn to cook!









Get organised. Go on YouTube, or google for "easy recipes" or "quick recipes" or whatever takes your fancy, then plan a weeks worth of meals and only buy what you need for them. You need to make time to cook. Sorry. It's a necessity and you can't say "can't" any more. You find time to pee, this is as necessary and you get ill if you don't.

Get creative - almond butter on wholemeal toast is absolutely fine for a kid, and jam never killed anyone. Feed what he will eat, within reason. Experiment. I'm a pretty good cook and i still have massive disasters sometimes, ah well, that's life. I too have a really hard time with pancakes - i blame the pan







Do you eat eggs? Scramble eggs with some cream (if you eat dairy). Try him with anything YOU eat, and anything you find a recipe for that you fancy. My DD, at that age, inexplicably loved fish curry. She ate it about twice a week at least and i just rotated the fish and veggies in it. Cook your salmon for less time and keep it covered/wrapped in foil and it won't dry out. Experiment and Practice. Tell yourself "i'm going to get good at this" and keep on keeping on until you are. I left home just about able to boil an egg and now, 13 years later, i am happiest in the kitchen.

It can happen, you can make it happen.


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## ladymeag (Aug 11, 2005)

Would you like suggestions on things that are easy to put together for your toddler or just some







s: and support?

FWIW, my sister in law can't boil water. Her kids are just fine - healthy, happy kids. She's found some things that work well for her, they eat out a couple of times a week and she buys a lot of pre-made stuff.

Don't beat yourself up - we've all got our own strengths and weaknesses!


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## Thalia the Muse (Jun 22, 2006)

Oh, it'll be OK! You sound so stressed and unhappy.

At 16 months he doesn't need purees or baby food -- delaying too long on "real" food can make it hard for kids to learn to eat comfortably, so I'd stop with that stuff now. Even the "solids' you're offering, like yogurt and applesauce, are baby-food texture. Will he not take anything more solid? The toast and the salmon he eats when you go out has much more texture than a puree, so I assume he won't totally refuse "real" foods.

There is nothing wrong at all with toast, jam, and almond butter. that's a great meal for a toddler! Fat, carbs, protein. You don't have to cook elaborate meals to feed him -- try him on chunks of fruit, soft-cooked noodles with butter, cubes of cheese or string cheese, scrambled egg, crackers, canned beans and chickpeas. If he likes salmon, and you're not confident cooking it, you can buy canned salmon. None of this requires fancy cooking.

I'm trying to think what my daughter especially liked at that age ... cheese was very popular, she liked flaked cooked fish (and meat of all kinds, but since you don't eat it that's out), noodles, beans. She strongly preferred pieces of food she could feed herself with her fingers -- I think the only thing we still spoon-fed was yogurt because she couldn't quite manage a spoon and she did love yogurt. She especially loved melon. Lots of kids like "dips," like ranch dressing or hummus -- he might go for that, plus veggies or bread cubes to dip in it.


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## Biscuits & Gravy (Jul 17, 2008)

Do you have any friends or family members who know how to cook? If someone I knew, or even barely knew, was in your situation I would be happy to help them. Just ask. Throw it out there on facebook or something. Send an email to everyone you know.

Quesadillas are easy to make, and my boys love them. I just use refried beans and nutritional yeast because they are allergic to dairy. Spread beans on half a tortilla, or you could use cheese and black beans. Keep it simple. Fold the tortilla in half. Heat a frying pan on a medium-low heat (my stove has numbers, I usually turn the dial to 3 or 4). Put a tiny pat of butter or maybe 1/2 tsp of coconut oil, any fat will do, in the pan and let it get hot. Put your folded tortilla in the pan. Let it get brownish on one side, then flip it. Cut in wedges or strips. You could mash up some avocado and let him dip the pieces in it. The only thing that could go wrong is if you get the pan too hot and let it burn.

If you mess something up once, try again. Keep trying until you get it right. There is nothing wrong with that! Even if you waste food, you are doing it in order to feed your family in the long run, that is okay if you ask me.


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## blizzard_babe (Feb 14, 2007)

"Yeah that" on what everyone said already. Meals don't necessarily have to be COOKED. A PBJ (we use all-natural peanut butter and all-fruit spread) and some cut-up veggies or fruit is a TOTALLY appropriate meal for a toddler. DS would tell you that it ought to be a staple for human life. And at this point, if he's really that close to a FTT diagnosis, if he enjoys something as nutritionally dense as almond butter... go with it.

He likes toast and avocado? How about making avocado dip (mix up smooshed avocado with a little yogurt, a weeeeeeeeeee bit of lime juice to keep it from going brown) and either spreading it on the toast or letting him dip (I know many toddlers like to dip, DS never loved it).

Cheese square/sticks... great idea as well. And portable.

We have had a similar issue with our fridge (things getting pushed back and forgotten), and one thing that has helped us (though we've gotten away from it... and let's be honest, I was never GREAT at it to start with







) is to designate a shelf per day. Monday, clean off the top shelf. Tuesdays, the middle shelf, Wednesdays, the bottom, Thursdays, the crisper, and Fridays, the door. Dig through the freezer on the weekend.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

I can cook and 9 times of 10 my dd is getting slices of cheese, pieces of fruit, crackers and nutbutters. A lot of stuff she'll only eat if it's off my plate so I don't bother making it for her, I make it for me and plan to share.


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## peainthepod (Jul 16, 2008)

Poor mama, you sound so stressed and unhappy. Don't beat yourself up--just vow to work through this and figure out a solution you can live with.









I'm 37 weeks pregnant (tomorrow!) and keeping my 22-month-old eating well has been hugely challenging the entire pregnancy. But I manage to do it because I know that nutrition is perhaps the most important thing when it comes to our health. Like brushing his teeth or changing his diapers, feeding him good whole foods throughout the day is just not optional. But it's SO HARD some days and I completely know where you're coming from.

Here are some things I feed my toddler that are easy, nutritious, fun, and generally well-received:

-almond or peanut butter on whole wheat bread or crackers
-plain yogurt that I sweeten with honey (tends to be less sugary than store-bought flavored yogurt)
-raw fruit slices of all kinds--apples, pears, berries, grapes, bananas, avocado. Slice them small but there's no need to mash at his age. Toddlers love to eat chunks of food with varying textures and colors. Fruit is great for this!
-lightly steamed carrots--he won't eat them raw but if I steam them just enough to make them a little softer and sweeter, he digs them. Steaming veggies is about as easy as it gets and doesn't degrade the nutrients too much.
-steamed broccoli, chopped and topped with shredded cheese (melted in)
-eggs! Eggs with cheese, eggs without cheese, eggs with chicken sausage scrambled in, eggs on toast, hardboiled eggs (can be prepared in advance--easy!), whatever strikes my fancy. Eggs are a wonderful food and toddlers usually like them. You can cook them in olive oil if you'd rather avoid butter--but butter is good too.








-string cheese. Yeah, it's processed but it's mozzarella and hey, protein and calcium
-whole grain dry cereal (for first breakfast and car trips)

You don't need to really "cook" for a toddler. You just need to find foods that have a high nutritional value, are minimally processed, and are prepared in such a way that they aren't a choking hazard. Don't worry about making restaurant-quality salmon for your little one; almond butter is totally fine at this stage. The important thing is that he's eating. I used to worry that there wasn't enough variety in my kid's diet--he eats yogurt every day, nut butter most days, cheese and eggs most days, etc. But it really doesn't matter as long as he's getting good calories and plenty of vitamins and minerals.

You can do this, mama. Just make feeding him well a major priority and the rest will fall into place. Go through your refrigerator every day--get into the habit of regularly rummaging through it to see what's there. Make shopping lists based on what you actually eat, not on what you think you should be eating or what you may feel like cooking the day after tomorrow. Keep it simple! You don't have to like cooking--plenty of people don't. And you don't even have to be a good cook to be able to provide a healthy meal for your family. There's nothing wrong with simple steamed, seasoned vegetables, rice and beans, and a whole grain bread or grain or starch (couscous, brown rice, quinoa, wheat pasta) on the side. Okay, I'm making myself hungry now...









You can do this!


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## allisonrose (Oct 22, 2004)

You've gotten some good suggestions so far. So I just wanted to add in some sympathy. I'm not a very good cook myself. I've always thought about taking a cooking class but haven't had the opportunity. I also definitely hear you about housework. Cooking and housework are some of my least favorite things to do. Sometimes makes me wonder why I'm a SAHM. But then I remind myself that being a mom isn't about those things! I would rather spend time reading to my son than sweeping the floor.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Let's see...dd2 is 15 months. She still nurses a _lot_, but what else does she eat....

Cheese...just cubes/small pieces of cheddar. Chop off the block and feed.

Plain yogurt.

Plain oatmeal.

Butter (when I'm cutting butter for something, I always give her a small piece).

Fruit - all berries (esp. blueberries), grapes, chunks of mango or peach, apples (we give her the whole thing, and she eats however much she wants - but she also has _lots_ of teeth), grapefruit/orange segments without the membranes, chunks of banana...i know there are some others she likes, but I can't think of them right now.

Veggies - raw sugar snap peas, cucumber slices and carrots, some cooked potatoes and sweet potatoes. hmm...I know she eats some others, but I'm drawing a blank again.

Cheerios, puffed wheat, shredded wheat and Special K.

Cheddar bunnnies or goldfish crackers (I use them and the dry cereal for "on the go" snacks a fair bit).

Scrambled eggs, or the whites from hard boiled eggs...she doesn't usually eat large portions of these, but she likes them.

Salmon, white fish (she's had halibut, sole, cod & tilapia, I think), shrimp (just remembered - ds1 used to snack on those tiny little cooked shrimp from the grocery store - I'd just thaw them under hot water).

Raisins and dried cranberries, although I try to limit those.

Lentils and beans, esp. kidney beans and chickpeas. We'll pick them out of things and wipe/lick (yeah, I know - ick) them off, or she likes them if they're just cooked along. Lentils stewed with a bit of basil or oregano or something was a favourite for a while.

Bread. She doesn't like loaf bread that much so far, but loves naan, tortillas, pizza crusts, etc.

Noodles.

Oh - I mostly use peanut butter right now (the other nut butters are really expensive). I'm comfortable with peanuts at this age, and dd2 likes peanut butter,too.

I don't know if there's anything in there you can use, and I certainly don't guarantee nutritional balance.


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## theatermom (Jun 5, 2006)

Hugs! At 16 months, none of my four boys ate a lot. Mostly they grazed here and there, and nursed a lot. Don't underestimate the importance and caloric intake from bm for toddlers! It's more than you'd think.

Also, I agree w/the others. Feed him what he wants, and make it table food when at all possible. If he wants avocados for every meal, great! They're easy and portable, and very, very nutrient and FAT rich (which he definitely needs). Have you tried smoothies? Very easy for you, and you can experiment with adding nut butters or coconut oil to "fatten" it up. Good food doesn't have to be cooked, and many would argue that the best food isn't.

At his age, my boys adored salmon and mahi mahi. Many people are intimidated by cooking fish, and overcook it. It isn't hard -- wrap it in foil with some butter and/or olive oil, salt and pepper and lemon juice, and cook it until it flakes apart (but no longer). If it's an especially large piece, you can cut it into chunks to cook everything evenly.

Don't beat yourself up! Your son doesn't have to be eating what you're eating, or a huge variety of cooked foods to be healthy and gain weight. I suggest cleaning out your fridge and simplifying everything. If in the end you have 15 avocados and nothing else, but everyone is happily eating, well that's a start! ;-)


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## Fujiko (Nov 11, 2006)

For cooking, the best way to learn is to make mistakes. And for every new recipe that goes on my repertoire, there are two or three that I made that didn't make the cut. Sometimes it's because they're just bad recipes, and sometimes it's because they were so frustrating or not worth it! But I've tried so many new recipes over the years, that I now I have running list of nearly 100 recipes that I pick and choose from for our dinners.

(Aside: When I was first learning to cook, I was graduating from college and I was determined to throw myself a grad party, including cooking a small spread for my guests. I burned the BBQ beef, the stuffed mushrooms were underdone, and the potato salad! The potatoes were underdone and I had to send my poor boyfriend (now dh) to the store to get more eggs because I couldn't hard boil them properly! What a disaster! My family still loves me and now I can make BBQ beef and potato salad pretty well after making them over and over, but I'm not attempting those stupid mushrooms again.







)

You said he doesn't eat the same things you and your husband eat. Do you offer them over and over, and seriously? (Like, do you make a plate just for him?) Or do you wave a forkfull in front of him, and when he doesn't bite, you give him one of "his" foods? You may need to be gently insistent that he "graduate" to adult food. (Please excuse me if you really have worked hard on this, please disregard.) ETA: if he really doesn't want your food though, just feed him what he'll eat, since he's close to being dx'ed with FTT. you gotta do what you gotta do!

If he's only really had smooth, pureed foods, he may need some time to adjust to different textures and consistencies. You could put him in his high chair with a variety of different foods, and just leave him alone and watch what he does. Maybe some small pieces of pita bread, Veggie Booty, rice, beans, etc.

As far as his size, are you and your husband small? My daughter is (and has been since 6 months) been below the 3rd percentile for height and under 10th for weight. But we are a small family. As long as I put out foods for her to eat (which were/are foods that we eat as a family), and she was nursing well, and seemed healthy, I didn't worry. My ds is 8 months and I feed him bits of what we eat, so long as they don't require teeth to eat or contain common allergens (which we hold off on until 12 months). He eats rice, beans, salmon, oatmeal, many types of fruit and cooked veggies, egg yolks, curry, hummus (well he WAS but he had a reaction to it), whole wheat breads with jam, mashed potatoes.

I know some people just aren't interested in cooking, and that's cool, everyone is different. But it is an incredibly useful skill to develop, that will serve you for the rest of your life.


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## happysmileylady (Feb 6, 2009)

Like others have said, you don't have to cook to provide a meal. Our lunches here, for myself and a 22 month old, are often just a bunch of stuff on a plate-an assortment of cheese cubes, sliced/cut up banana, diced tomatos, a slice of bread, left over chicken, etc etc.

As for things that stick to the pan, a la your pancakes, do you use non-stick pans? Really though, whether you do or not, try coating the pan with butter, a bit of grease, or some cooking spray like PAM. Just a thin coat, that should help.

Some other suggestions...pasta with veggies makes a great meal too. You said you have lots bags of frozen veggies-cook up some pasta, heat up the veggies, then toss them in the pasta. You can eat it like that or season it up with some salt, pepper, butter, garlic etc. Or, if that's too much, just toss some salad dressing on it. That can be served warm or cold. You could also do the same with rice instead of pasta if you want. If you have a microwave, you can cook just about anything in it...you can take your salmon and heat it up in the microwave-if you cover it up, it won't be dry at all. Chicken breasts (if you are comfortable preparing and serving them) can be cooked in the microwave, as can eggs and fish.

As for learning to cook...when I moved out of my parents house and had to cook for dd and I, I suscribed to a magazine called Quick Cooking. It's by Taste of Home, and I think they actually call it Simple and Delicious now. The majority of the meals in it require very few and pretty basic ingredients, and usually take around 30 minutes to fix (some do take longer, but plenty take less time also.) Working from a recipe is so much easier than trying to create one yourself.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Oh - if it's in your comfort zone re: choking (it's in mine, but wouldn't have been with my first), there's also popcorn. DD2 loves home popped popcorn. I cook it in a little bit of coconut oil, then put melted butter on it.


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## confustication (Mar 18, 2006)

First step- learn to cook.







I will never be able to thank my mom enough (and my dad as well!) for making it a point to cook meals at home the vast majority of the time. It taught me a lot about how to exist as an adult, and it provided me a decent side income in college when everyone was tired of cafeteria food (hosting 'real food' dinners in your dorm once a week at 'whatever you can afford' prices was a HUGE hit.) However, imo- that's a skill you might want for yourself. You can still be an amazing parent (you wouldn't care about this if you weren't a good mom) without turning on the stove.

Still, my daughter lived on cheese sandwiches for AGES as a young toddler. Not even the 'good' bread or cheese- the squishy nutritionally vacant white bread and plasticized cheese 'product'. I tried to sneak in a few other things here and there, but it didn't always work as she was (and still is, though it has improved a lot) food avoidant.

Staples that work but don't take a lot of cooking
*Hummus and Pita Crisps
*Fresh fruit slices and a yogurt/cream cheese dip
*Quesadillas
*Lightly steamed baby carrots
*Pancakes (try again, with oil or butter instead of coconut oil. I find coconut oil can be tricky to work with where I live- when I lived elsewhere it was easier. Weirdness.)
*Any-butter and jam sandwich- you can even make your own fresh freezer jam (no cooking required!)
*Sheets of nori cut in triangles
*Pasta with butter and parmesean (and garlic around here- my kids LOVE garlic)
*French bread pizzas- cut a loaf of french bread in half lengthwise and top with whatever you like for toddlers it also works with smaller slices
* Scrambled eggs, quiche, hard boiled eggs- any manner of eggs if you can find these from a local free-range grower they are a lot better.
*Garden burgers
*Granola
*Banana bread, zucchini bread, pumpkin bread, etc
*Guacamole and tortilla chips

Also, for my super skinny kid, carnation instant breakfasts, milkshakes, smoothies etc helped a lot. She's still super-skinny, but it's better now that she's almost 9 and I can reason with her.


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## colsxjack (Dec 9, 2009)

Our almost 15 month old DD eats:
grapes cut in half
wedges of cucumber
apple, pear, peach, nectarine slices
blueberries
avocado cubes
cheese cubes
bread with cream cheese or PB
steamed or stir fried veg - broccoli, zucchini, green beans, carrots, sweet peppers, peas, whatever

One thing she loves is fish. We made mac&cheese and put frozen peas and canned tuna in it. Sometimes we make the mac&cheese from scratch...but often from a box. We put the peas in with the noodles for the last 2 minutes and then drain the tuna water and add the tuna after mixing in the cheese sauce.

For cooking fish:
We sometimes buy frozen fillets and sometimes fresh. For frozen, just read the back of the package. For salmon or Talapia, drizzle a bit of veg. oil in a pan, put the fillets (still frozen) in, add a bit of pepper if you like, or some dried dill, cook for 6-10 minutes.
For fresh fish, I broil it. I drizzle some oil in a pan. I lay the fresh fillets in. I put my oven rack to the second from the top spot in the oven. Turn the oven on broil (turn the knob as far as it will go) and broil for 4-6 minutes depending on how thick the fish is. I check after 4 minutes. For salmon, it should be turned lighter pink and not still dark pink or reddish.
For whiter fish, you know it is done when it is a white colour and not still a translucent white. As someone else said, it flakes with a fork. Just stick a fork in it and pull it apart. If it flakes easily it is done, if it doesn't flake easily then put it back in for another 1-2 minutes.

To boil noodles. Boil the water first. When the water is boiling add the noodles to the pot. When the water starts to boil, turn the temp down a bit (to medium) so it doesn't boil over. Test a noodle after about 6-8 minutes. I just stick a spoon in and dig out a noodle and then eat it. If it is still a bit chewy I cook a bit longer.

You can do it. Cooking is intimidating. But once you learn to cook a few things, you will start to feel more confident.
Check at local grocery stores or community centres. I know some in my area have cooking classes.
There are also services here where you can go in, learn to cook a few recipes and you get to take the dinners home with you. You go on a Sunday and cook a weeks worth of food to take home and freeze or refrigerate.


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## lach (Apr 17, 2009)

There's been a recent spate of toddler-specific cookbooks being published. It's all marketing (really, what's the difference?) but the recipes are usually pretty simple and easy and don't use a ton of ingredients. You might want to check out the childcare section in a bookstore for one and some ideas. I really like the Annabel Karmel cookbooks. There really isn't anything toddler-specific about most of them (sometimes she makes a face with olives or something), but they are all good, basic recipes that shouldn't be too complicated.

It was a big transition for me too. It's always been a pet peeve when people say "the baby just ate what we ate!" when someone posts about what do you feed the baby. I'm glad you're not getting that in this thread, because I always found it soooo unhelpful. Obviously if I ate a diet that was acceptable for a baby/toddler, I wouldn't have been asking! Because before we had a baby, DH and I worked long hours, came home and either ordered takeout or made a sandwich or ate cereal. Hopefully with milk, if we actually happened to have any. Sure we cooked sometimes (we both enjoy cooking, and we do enjoy real meals), but who had the time or the energy to cook a real meal more than once a week or so? I guess I don't know if I'm jealous of or confused about childless couples or singles who cook healthy complete meals every night! I don't think that I knew any.

So I wouldn't be too discouraged. I think that this is a normal hump that many parents have to get over. I think it's awesome that you're trying to fix it, instead of just serving McDonald's for every meal!


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## LilaQ (Jun 28, 2008)

You've gotten some really great advice and suggestions so they only thing I would add is that you can buy some good toddler friendly and healthy convenience foods at Whole Foods or Trader Joes, if you have one of those where you live and can afford it.

I encourage you to learn to cook some easy basic meals, but while you're learning, you can expand your child's palate for solid foods using the quick and and easy stuff that comes pre-made. For example, my son loves the Dr. Praeger's veggie patties (http://www.drpraegers.com/) and I don't feel too bad about feeding him those in combination with other veggies and meats I cook.

Good luck! You are a good momma and you CAN learn to cook.


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## Biscuits & Gravy (Jul 17, 2008)

I thought of another toddler friendly, no-fail food. English muffin pizzas! I buy whole wheat/multi grain English muffins at trader joes. Top with sauce, veggies or just cheese. Toast in toaster oven, or in the oven on 350 or so until the cheese melts, just a few minutes. Cut into 1/4ths.


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## Bellabaz (Feb 27, 2008)

Super easy meal:
Quiche -take packaged pie crust, unroll and place in pan. Cut up some veggies (tomoatoes or zuchinnis are good) or throw in some frozen peas, whatever you like. In a bowl beat 3 eggs with some milk or yogurt. Pour eggs over veggies (in pie crust). Sprinkle with some cheese. Bake (at temp listed on pie crust) for 30 minutes. Serve with salad.

You have a lot of other suggestions.

Relax and breathe. You don't have to be a master chef to feed your toddler. And FWIW I think PD, toast and jam is great for a lo.

Hang in there mama


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## SpottedFoxx (Feb 8, 2010)

Check your local restaurant school, community college or even restaurants. Cooking classes are all the rage. If you happen to be in NYC - I have a good friend who will come to your house and teach you to cook (she's an author of a cookbook and gives cooking lessons). It's fun and it's a skill you can pass to your child and your DH. It doesn't have to be something elaborate. DH and I both work - DS is in day care and we don't get home till 6:00 p.m. every night (at the earliest) and we still cook practically every night.

Soup with a cheese quesadilla with veggies is a favorite in our house. Open can, dump contents into pan (add water if required) set to low. Put out flour tortillas and put shredded cheese and whatever veggies you have available and sprinkle them on (not too much or it will fall apart). Fold over. I use a piece of veggie on the outside edge to keep it closed and bake till the cheese melts. Serve.

You can do this.


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## karne (Jul 6, 2005)

Your post caught my eye. You can feed avacado a lot, if that's what your child will eat. It has great fat in it. Annie's organic shells and cheddar/mac and cheese is not too bad-many kids love it, and it only requires boiling water. You can throw in a handful of baby peas for a good meal. I think one of my kids lived on this for about 6 mos.

There are lots of fun noodle and pasta shapes, in a variety of grains as well as rice pastas, that are good with a cheese sauce or cheesy tomato sauce-again-just boil water and throw some cubed cheese into tom. sauce, or grate over the pasts. make sure to use a good butter on the noodles!

Dips are good too, and fun for toddlers-hummus, etc. A cheese omlet, or scrambled eggs and cheese, with leftover salmon (that dried out salmon you cooked would work great here!) or lox is good.

Take it one meal at a time. Dinner food can be breakfast. Breakfast food 3x/day-fine! Don't stress about what's "right", because only you know what's right for your family.

We always did full fat raw cows milk and goats milk, as well-not sure if that's an option for you?


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## StrongBeliever (Apr 24, 2007)

Everyone has already had some great ideas. Cooking can be a lot of fun. It sounds to me like you are just stuck in a rut and being haunted by the same old stuff you already/always do. Use up that stuff in your freezer and make a commitment to change your purchasing habits so that your fridge isn't full of stuff you won't use. I like the "shelf a day" idea. It will be far less discouraging to try something new if the old duds are out of the way.

Like so many have said, there are tons of nutrient dense(that is so important!) foods that don't require a lot of prep. I don't know which vegetarian credo your family sticks to, but I see seafood and dairy in your post. Cheese, cream and butter... Use the best quality you can get, raw is best! Full-fat Greek-style yogurt... You can stir any number of things, sweet or savory, into that to make a variety of dips. Have you tried canned fish? My kids absolutely LOVE canned salmon, sardines, smoked herring, mackerel and the like. Think of all the protein and omega-3s, and you don't even have to heat that stuff up if you don't want to.

I don't know if you do eggs... But eggs are one of THE most nutrient dense foods out there. And for the most part they are very easy to fix. Even if YOU don't eat them, I'd certainly consider them for your son. It might sound like a treat, but sweet potato or pumpkin pie have the possibility of being super healthy. Vitamin A rich veggie plus protein rich eggs with high quality cream with some maple syrup and spices? Find a good recipe... You just whisk it up, pour it in an organic ready-crust and throw it in the oven.

I've not seen anyone say anything about potatoes yet. Both sweet potatoes and white potatoes make excellent kid-friendly foils for all kind of nutrient dense toppings. Cheese, butter, coconut oil, olive oil, sour cream, guacamole. Just bake the potatoes(throw 'em in the oven at 350 until you can poke them easily with a fork), split them open, and use your imagination!

ETA: Don't be afraid to use salt. I know from my vegan days that salt is one of those things painted evil by the health crowd. So not true. Very little will taste good if it isn't seasoned properly. Using a quality natural salt to season foods you put in front of our son might make them more appealing. Of course, you might be using salt... I just wanted to out that in there, as a lot of people overlook that.


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## cristeen (Jan 20, 2007)

If you want to learn, you could try posting in the nutrition forum for quick and simple recipes.

I know for my little guy, breakfast is a scrambled egg almost every morning. Lunch is whatever i can grab from the fridge while he's climbing my leg - cheese cubes/slices, grapes, he'll eat hummus off a spoon, since he hasnt figured out dipping... Banana, avocado, a few pieces of last night's chicken or beans, Pickles, broccoli, etc. He loves corn on the cob, when i can find it.

And dinner is usually more of the same for him. If i have red or white beans, he'll eat quite a bit (but he doesnt like garbanzos). He's a cheese hound, and he'll eat all sorts of fresh fruit/veg, so thats what i feed him. Je loves salmon, but only gets it maybe once a month... I only cooked salmon for the first time a few months ago, and i'll tell you it does take a little practice, but it's better to undercook than overcook if your fish is fresh. By the time it's flaking, it's overcooked, it really does only take a few minutes.


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## dakotablue (Jun 21, 2009)

do you have a slow cooker? are you ok with using a microwave? If so I can post some no thought recipes for you.


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## dividedsky (Jul 24, 2006)

the thing about learning to cook is that at the beginning, everyone stinks at it! and when you are constantly making food that doesn't turn out so great, your confidence sinks, and that doesn't really help the situation.

but cooking is not rocket science, and eventually, if you keep working at it, one day, it will click and you will totally get it! it's like anything else, practice makes perfect.

so start with salmon. find the easiest recipe you can. maybe a recipe where it's cooked wrapped in foil, so that it won't dry out. and with it, do a simple side, like baked potatoes or sweet potatoes. you and DH can have them as-is - DS can have it smushed. then, pick a veggie. simply steam it (keep tasting until it's as soft as you all like) and add a little butter and salt when it's done. voila, easy meal with little prep! then, once you master the salmon, pick another simple one and master that, too. the more you cook, the more little things you learn, and it starts to get fun (seriously!).

while you're learning, there are so many easy, quick things you can make for DS. there were many great suggestions given here. some of my go-tos:

- quesadillas (heat a pan, throw tortilla on pan, throw cheese on half of tortilla, add a little chopped spinach, or some leftover beans, more cheese, fold, cook until done, serve with some avocado and yogurt or sour cream for dipping!)
- grilled cheese
- pizza whatevers... throw sauce and cheese on an english muffin, a pita, a bagel, a slice of bread, a tortilla, anything... and bake @ 350 until done
- crackers w/nut butter, maybe a smidge of honey to sweeten
- whole-wheat pancakes, these are really easy to make from scratch!! serve any time of day, i give my boys some yogurt w/a drip of maple syrup to dip
- french toast (beat an egg, add a splash of milk, soak bread, cook on medium in a little butter, cut into strips or squares)
- roasted chickpeas - add olive oil, salt, pepper, bake @ 400 until a little brown but not hard

you can do it!!!


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## lach (Apr 17, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dividedsky* 
the thing about learning to cook is that at the beginning, everyone stinks at it! and when you are constantly making food that doesn't turn out so great, your confidence sinks, and that doesn't really help the situation.

but cooking is not rocket science, and eventually, if you keep working at it, one day, it will click and you will totally get it! it's like anything else, practice makes perfect.

I agree! And even though I think I'm a pretty experienced cook and I cook a lot and have enjoyed cooking since I was a kid, I still find that it takes me about three tries to get a recipe to finally come out right. The first time I make something I totally mess some part up, the second time it's better but there's still something eh, and the third time I think "wow, this is really good! I wonder why I didn't really like it the past two times." So don't get discouraged just because something doesn't come out right... cooking is, imo, mostly practice and patience.


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## claras_mom (Apr 25, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lkmiscnet* 

Our 16 mo old is still on *homemade pureed food* and store bought organic jarred stage 2 because he won't eat most other things I make for DH and me and I just don't know what to make for him. However, when we eat out, he eats quite a bit off my fork, particularly salmon, since that is usually what I order when eating out. When I try to make salmon at home, it never turns out like at the restaurant. It's overcooked and dry no matter how I make it.

Most recipes I try to follow don't turn out well. I couldn't even cook a pancake from a mix this morning as the whole thing stuck to the pan when I tried to use coconut oil and it fell apart in crumbs (as did I after yet another meal didn't turn out)...

***

On weekends, we are so busy running around doing errands or I'm working on house projects and I don't want to spend hours in the kitchen. And, we have a lousy fridge that doesn't have much room and I have to strategically stack and balance things in there just to get them to fit. Our freezer is filled with bags of frozen veggies and everytime I open the door, something falls out. So, I am not motivated to cook either because there is no room for anything. I throw away so much food that has rotted because it's hidden in the fridge, which makes buying ingredients for cooking a struggle.
***
He will eat avocado, but I can't feed that to him for every meal. I've tried oatmeal, yogurt with applesauce...He just doesn't like them, so I don't know what to feed him for breakfast. For lunch, I've been giving him bites of my almond butter and jam toast, but that is not great nutritionally for a baby. I also cannot get his liquid vitamin/iron supplement in him when he won't eat things I can't squirt the dosage in, so I'm worried that he's going to be impacted by that as well, particularly his iron level.


toddlers don't need complicated food, and if you can make the homemade stuff you can certainly make other things. So....for example...if you're making homemade sweet potatoes (and he likes them) just stop smushing them and feed the soft chunks.

Dd2 (18 months, BTW) hasn't met a bean she doesn't like. Find a brand that works for you--they do seem to have highly variable amounts of salt--and try that. I rinse them off and sometimes heat slightly, sometimes not. Black beans are probably more nutritious than pinto, but I do serve both. Dd1 wouldn't ever eat beans, so it's possible your child won't, but it's worth a shot.

Pasta tossed with olive oil and cheese. Or just olive oil (or butter) if he won't eat the cheese.

Cheese is good, as others have said.

Dd2 hardly touches fruit (watermelon is about the only one she'll eat) but loves broccoli. I'll serve her broccoli at every meal, including breakfast, if need be. So if your child likes avocado, let him eat it. It's healthy.

Fish always takes a lot less time than you'd think to cook. Something like 10-15 minutes per inch of thickness, at a fairly high oven temp. If I hated to cook as much as you do, I'd make something like that in larger quantities, so that I'd get more mileage out of the cooking effort.







And leftover salmon is divine.

Don't worry about food categories. Anything can be a breakfast food or a lunch food or a dinner food.

Sounds like until you get a better fridge, it would be good to just have less on hand. Not as overwhelming. I do a major purge every week--all the leftovers and "off" produce gets tossed. Been meaning to tackle the freezer as well. FWIW, my SIL is even more, um, proactive than that. If something hasn't been finished off within 48 hours, she tosses it.

Do you have room for a small chest freezer in your home?


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## mommy_to_2angels (Sep 27, 2010)

Everyone has given you some really great ideas. My daughter, 5 years old, barely eats anything. So I have to just give her whatever to get her to eat something. She hasn't gained any weight in 2 years.

She eats a lot of pastas and fruits. My 16 month old tho, is something else altogether. He loves solids. Your baby may be ready to try all those new textures. Fruits: Bananas, grapes, apples, star fruit, pineapples, peaches, apricots, plums, cherries (Minus pits) and others are great. Just cut them into bite size chunks! Crackers and cheese, oh cheese! my baby boy looooves cheese.

I get the impression that you don't eat a lot of meats (just fish?) but if you do, sloppy joes (just strip him and toss him in the bath afterwards) turkey burger works just as well as ground chuck and is healthier. And oh! He adored chicken and steak fajitas. Any of these things are easy as pie to cook. Feel free to PM me, and I can suggest a ton of things. Another huge hit, and easier than anything else, really. American Chop Suey, saute a lb of burger, toss a jar of pasta sauce over it. Boil some elbows, combine it all together, then put shredded cheese or grated cheese over it. 4 food groups in one quick and easy meal.


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## texmati (Oct 19, 2004)

can you hire someone to do some cooking for you? There are some ethinic foods that I just don't make well-- roti's for example. My mom makes them for my son in return for verbal confirmaiton that she's the best grandmother that ever walked the earth.

There are also quite a few ladies in our area that make ethinic food at home to sell. They may pour a little heavier on the oil than I would like, but it is good, fresh, homemade, unprocessed, preservative free food.


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## thehighernest (Aug 11, 2009)

So many good suggestions here!

I second the slow cooker: you can get yourself a book like this one and make a ton of things. Some recipes are more annoying in that they may require meat browning, etc. ahead of time - skip them and use the ones where you can just throw everything in the pot and leave it be.

I realize everyone frowns on processed foods, but if this is survival mode, you do what you have to do, and there are many options out there that are healthier and will tide you over until you figure out what stuff you like and can make by yourself. Annie's Homegrown has better options for mac & cheese than Kraft - and like a pp said, you can add veggies, meat, fish, etc. Dr. Praeger's makes veggie pancakes and nuggets. You just stick them in the oven. Some of the Happy Bites frozen items may work for you too. There's lots of stuff like that. Just look out for best sodium contents, etc.

If you don't want to deal with buying raw veggies, buy them frozen. All you need is water and a microwave to lightly steam.

You can make rice or quinoa in a rice cooker. I use 1 1/2 cups of water for each cup of grain. You can add applesauce or cheese, etc. to the quinoa after it's cooked. It's a great food and so easy to make! I coat the pot with some olive oil to prevent sticking.

Make grilled cheese sandwiches in a pan on the stove - or even easier still maybe, get a George Foreman. You can add turkey, too, tomatoes, etc. and cut up into little bites. You can find antibiotic free turkey, like Applegate Farm brand.

For breakfasts, try Revolution Foods Grammy or Jammy Sammies. Each one has 8 g of whole grains. Earth's Best make some whole grain bars too, but not all their cereal bars are made with whole grains. Our DS often just has whole grain toast with butter and a yogurt with some fruit for breakfast. I try to strike a balance between having some protein, fats, and whole grains at each meal, as well as veggies/fruits. If your LO doesn't like veggies as much, don't despair. Many prefer fruit, and some have great nutritional value. A single kiwi supposedly has all the vitamin C you need in a day!

Don't be too afraid to move beyond purees with your little one - you'd be amazed at what they can handle at that age! But you can move slowly into that. Your purees don't have to go to waste. You can use them as sauces for plain pasta. And you if have a blender, you can make your own shakes/smoothies with some milk, yogurt, a banana, some peanut butter for protein or a million other things.

Good luck mama!


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## flightgoddess (Mar 4, 2009)

As an 'Insurance' policy, get a good chewable vitamin and fish oil supplement (I give my lil guy Animal Parade and Omega fishies from vitacost.com)

When you shop and feed foods to your kid, make sure they are nutrient dense, that means choose good foods to eat, raw, frozen, canned, cooked fruits and veggies, real meat and fish patties or filets, fresh or frozen (not fried fishsticks or anything) cooked beans, refried beans, real butter, whole milk, cream, not fake margerines.

If it will help, get a couple 'convenience' appliances if you have room, like a steamer (add water to bottom well and turn it on, and the food is cooked!) and or a rice maker (add rice and water and turn it on.) Get a two teired steamer, then you can do fish on one level and veggies or rice bowl on the other. Or a crockpot, there is a great blog 365crockpot that has tons of recipies that are simply made on the crockpot.

I always offer a fruit and a veggie at each meal (well, veggies aren't often at breakfast) bananas, applesauce, canned or fresh pears, peaches, plums, dried fruits like rasins, blueberries, crasins, apricots, etc. Kids can eat dried fruit! Get the minced mixed dried fruit bag from Sunmaid, or rasins, prunes and apricots do need to be cut into smaller peices though! For snacks on the go, I get Revolution Kids or Plumtots mashups from BabiesRUs.


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## GoBecGo (May 14, 2008)

Had another thought - Monkey platters! My go-to when i'm feeling lazy and DD LOVES them, and her little friends all love coming over because E's mommy makes you a monkey platter.


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## kismetbaby (Feb 21, 2009)

Cooking definitely takes practice! And it gets more fun once you get the hang of things. . .but even someone who loves to cook and has been for a long time (me) finds it hard to make the time or energy to cook with a toddler underfoot.

Kids usually prefer simple food though. Boil noodles and put olive oil or butter on them. Scramble an egg. Nut butter on toast. Avocado with everything







Open a can of beans (I know there are "issues" with canned goods, but beans are important for a veg diet and if you just can't manage to cook them yourself, I wouldn't hesitate to used canned). At Trader Joe's you can buy precooked, frozen, organic brown rice--great for adding to soups, stir-fries, etc. My 12 month old will eat tons of rice and beans. He also loves, loves hummus, also a quick and easy buy at someplace like TJs. I just cube up bread and dip each cube in hummus and put those on his tray. Will your LO eat banana?

Anyway, you've had a lot of good suggestions, I just wanted to tell you that even mamas who can cook find it daunting to always have to find things to feed their LOs. Wander the store and look for things that you think your LO would eat. Browse through some cookbooks just for ideas/inspiration. And mostly, keep it simple!


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## blumooned (Nov 11, 2009)

I agree with everything posted already -great advice!! Almost everything I was going to say has already been said. I just wanted to add a couple things I didn't see.

Since your LO may be FTT - I agree 100% that you should go for some store-bought convenience foods. Go for the ones already mentioned, plus, get some store-bought marinara. There are lots of good natural/organic ones, even ones with veggies in them. Cook some pasta, sprinkle on some cheese, & you've got dinner. If you have a good natural foods store or deli in your area, go there & see if they have healthy pasta salad, muffins, soups, etc.

I also agree that you may want to invest in some helpful appliances. I was going to second the rice steamer & say that a lot of them come with inserts so you can steam veggies & even fish & other things. Also, for pancakes, our counter-top griddle is a must-have; you can also french toast on it & lots of other stuff. No need to use any oil.

As for the oil & your pancakes sticking - I would recommend spray oil. It comes in lots of different types, even organic. I find it coats pans better & really helps things not stick & crumble.

My DS eats quite a variety of food, but a lot of it is not elaborate or even cooked. Finger foods are definitely the way to go.








& good luck!!


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## marispel (May 27, 2008)

I didn't read all the other responses...

I CAN cook, but my DS refuses to try any new foods. We rotate Chicken Nuggets, Grilled Cheese, popcorn shrimp and PBJ. He loves fruit and will eat french frries, potato fries and yogurt.

So...while not great, I just go with what he likes. I do try other things, but he ALWAYS refuses to even try them. Oh well...won't last forever.


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## mermaidmama (Sep 17, 2008)

One website that has helped me is weelicious.com.

Like everyone else said, avacados and almondbutter and jelly are great kid foods. If you wanted to learn to cook a little better and add to what you can already make, see if your community offers a cooking class. You could also look in books or online for easy recipes and try out one or two each month.


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## cschick (Aug 28, 2007)

"hen I try to make salmon at home, it never turns out like at the restaurant. It's overcooked and dry no matter how I make it."

Salmon only really has to cook for a few minutes. Really, ANY seafood only has to cook for a few minutes. I make seafood on nights we need a very quick dinner.

The one thing to remember is that they're also probably using a marinade with some pretty icky stuff in it to make the salmon so moist and flavorful at restaurants. At home, brush it with oil, sprinkle it with some spices maybe, and stick it under the broiler, watching it very closely. 3-4 minutes each side, at MOST, if it doesn't have any frozen areas.


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## Minxie (Apr 15, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lkmiscnet* 
I also cannot get his liquid vitamin/iron supplement in him when he won't eat things I can't squirt the dosage in, so I'm worried that he's going to be impacted by that as well, particularly his iron level.

I haven't read the thread but...you don't need to put his liquid vitamin into anything. You can squirt it into his mouth; I used to tell DS "Vitamins!" in a bright, cheery voice and use a dropper to squirt it into his mouth. They don't taste too bad.


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## OkiMom (Nov 21, 2007)

Mac and cheese tends to be a favorite of mine from an early age. I make it homemade and its really simple to make. I add some tuna sometimes for some added nutrients when my girls are being picky for one reason or another.
PB&J is a good meal with some cut up fruit and veggies on the side.
Cheese cubes and crackers are another favorite of my girls from an early age.


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## Theoretica (Feb 2, 2008)

You've really gotten some awesome advice mama! Just chiming in to send a hug







and a suggestion to try recipes that 'hide' nutrition in things they already eat. There's one that 'hides' pureed cauliflower in mashed potatoes, and you can't tell it's there. There's another that does pureed carrots in mac and cheese, things like that.

Of COURSE I can't think of the name of the danged book, but I'm sure it's google-able, and I'm fairly certain the recipes are also online.

I'll come back and post 'em if I can, but if someone else can find them before me please feel free.

I promise they grow out of this mama, you're doing all the right things by getting input from others and working with the pediatric team


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## texmati (Oct 19, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cschick* 
The one thing to remember is that they're also probably using a marinade with some pretty icky stuff in it to make the salmon so moist and flavorful at restaurants.

I just wanted to *yeah that* the above!

*long story*

I worked at a cookie store during college, and had access to the nutrition information. Even though we advertised "fresh baked cookies"-- the cookies were made with enough fat to last months. 500 calories and tons of chemicals to make sure that the cookies lasted and lasted adn always looked good and tasted moist. there is a reason that outside food tastes so good. It's scientifically engineered and studied to taste good. You can't compete with that because you care too much about what goes into your child's body.


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## bodhitree (May 12, 2008)

You've already gotten tons of great suggestions about different foods and quick meals. One thing that has helped me a ton with finding time to cook is that I bought my DD a Learning Tower so she can see what I'm doing and "help." A lot of the time, she actually just stands in her Learning Tower and splashes around in a little tub of water on the counter while I cook. As long as she can see what I'm doing, I can get some cooking done without having her fuss at me too much.

Where are you in Colorado? If you're anywhere close to me (I'm in Colorado Springs), I'd be happy to give you some cooking lessons. Seriously, PM me if you're anywhere close.


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## bodhitree (May 12, 2008)

After thinking it over, I also wanted to come back in here and say that I hope all the advice isn't giving you that feeling like it's all so easy for everyone else and there must be something wrong with you. We all face tough challenges as parents, they're just in different areas. I happen to be really passionate about good food and unable to afford to go out all the time, so I've learned to cook well and that area isn't as much of a challenge for me. But if you want to talk about sleep or discipline, I can tell you all about all the self-doubt I've had in those areas.


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## bella99 (Sep 25, 2008)

I also feed my daughter quesadilla's. And since you are still feeding pureed veggies, I'd try what I do. I combine one or two puree veggies (usually sweet potato and cauliflower), add the cheese and some finely shredded chicken (obviously skipping the chicken if you don't eat meat). Then I spread it all on a whole wheat or multi-grain tortilla and cook it in a skillet. I make several batches at once, cut them up into serving sizes, and freeze them in a baggie. Then I just take them out and throw them in the toaster oven or microwave and serve them. My almost 2 year old loves them.

And don't be afraid to use pre-packaged foods. I work full time and some mornings for breakfast I give my daughter scrambled eggs, but lots of mornings she gets yogurt smoothies, toast with jam and nut butter, or organic frozen waffles with flax with some cream cheese and honey on it.

In a crunch, we give our daughter Amy's frozen mac and cheese or Annie's out of the box. It's not our first choice, but it's still all pretty good for her.


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## Pookietooth (Jul 1, 2002)

to you. Make sure you have ruled out celiac disease as that can cause failure to thrive and pickiness.
Oh and the book is called The Sneaky Chef that does the veggie purees in regular foods.


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## Aufilia (Jul 31, 2007)

Ditto the pp... if you don't like to cook or don't have time, by all means buy some pre-packaged foods. If not for pre-packaged foods we would starve to death in this household. I "know how" to cook, I just hate it. Hate. I spend as little time as possible preparing food. We eat a heckofalotta hamburger helper (ok, you might not want to sink THAT low...), mac'n'cheese from a box (the velveeta brand with the whole grain noodles is soooo yummy), chicken nuggets, frozen pizza, and lunchables around here. If I'm feeling "fancy" we make sandwhichs, quesidillas, or hamburger bun pizzas for lunch.

Like others said, you definitely don't have to heat/cook food to make a meal, especially for a toddler. My older daughter is fond of what we call the "Vivian sandwhich" meal, which is basically a selection of stuff on a plate. Originally it was sandwhich fixings on a plate, but I really just throw on anything that seems like a decent balance of foods, so it might be, say, a slice of cheese, a slice of bread, edamame, half a banana, and some applesauce. Or maybe a couple slices of pickle, a slice of ham, some crackers, a few strawberries, and a glass of milk.

For lunch and snack, I do serve a lot of fresh vegetables and fruits -- slices of cucumber, steamed broccoli, carrot sticks, apple slices, mandarin oranges... DD also loves to eat frozen peas, frozen corn, or frozen edamame straight from the bag.

For simple dinners I recommend:

- Salmon patties -- we actually had this for dinner tonight. I can bake fresh fish, but salmon patties are yummy and taste like "mom cooking" to me. Mix together 15oz salmon from cans (or 10oz salmon +5oz tuna), 1/2 cup cracker crumbs, 1 egg, a dash of salt. Make into 4-6 patties. Fry in a pan with 1 tablespoon canola oil for 8 minutes (4 min per side). Easy-peasy. We served with rice pilaf or similar from a box and a vegetable.

- Spaghetti. Yes, with sauce from a jar. Whole wheat noodles take a tad bit longer to cook, but taste so much better than white grain noddles. We serve with crescent rolls from a can.

- Chili (from a can) over white rice with a sprinkle of grated cheese (from a bag).

- My husband's gourmet dish is tuna noodle casserole. There are tons of different recipes, but it's overall a pretty easy one to learn. Otherwise, my husband would not make it.









- Burritos! Tortillas, grated cheese, refried (or whatever) beans from a can, some salsa, and whatever else you want in a burrito. The hard part is softening up the tortillas.


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## amrijane128 (Jan 6, 2007)

You know, at that age (and still with my 3 year old) home cooked meals just aren't that big of a hit. Quite frankly my daughters favorite foods are cottage cheese, turkey, string cheese, yogurt, Annies (boxed) mac n cheese, etc. Easy stuff... feeding your child healthy foods doesn't have to involve an intense recipe.


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## mokey4 (Nov 3, 2008)

I am a lousy cook myself, and quite disorganized, so I can sympathize. I can't tell you how many times I've undercooked chicken! But I've been keeping at it, and I think I'm getting better. It doesn't help me that my husband is a good cook (used to actually work in a restaurant many years ago), because sometimes I feel judged by him and he doesn't have time to do much cooking.

But anyway, I want to echo everyone's comments above: a lot of toddlers (mine included!) won't eat a really good meal that we slave over and find super yummy. I did baby-led-weaning with my daughter and she used to eat EVERYTHING, no matter how unfamiliar or spicy, and now she's 19 months and super picky. All she wants is pizza and pasta (actually your diet sounds like something my daughter would thrive on), with the occasional chunk of meat or fish and sometimes fruit. She also happens to love oatmeal for breakfast, and for that I am eternally grateful.

As a sample, here's what she ate today:
2 large portions of oatmeal for breakfast (this was a good day)
most of a banana for snack
cheese quesadilla for lunch (my new specialty- i tried making one with veggies but she wouldn't touch it)
a whole bunch of annie's whole wheat bunny crackers and raisins for afternoon snack
a few bites of chile rellenos with rice & beans wrapped in a tortilla (the disguise worked for a few bites- yay!) when we ate out for dinner at a mexican restaurant (we don't normally eat out- maybe once every 6 weeks, because we're poor)

And that's it! Yesterday was almost identical, except she had dried apricots for snack and pasta for dinner. We're on a cheese quesadilla kick.

Anyway DD is doing well... she's a little on the lean side (30th percentile for weight and 90th for length) but the doc is ok with it because DH is super lean ectomorph man and I'm fairly long & lean, so it's probably genetic. and she's happy and doing all the milestones.

I think you should change your immediate focus from "OMG I need to learn to cook" to "OMG I need to figure out what DS will eat." And then over time, also work on cooking, because that will be really useful later and will make life more healthful for all of you. I have a couple of really great vegetarian cookbooks (I used to be veggie), but to be honest most cookbook meals are too involved for me and not really worth the effort. I've become hooked on the recipes on realsimple.com, because they are SO EASY and pretty tasty. I also have turned to allrecipes.com, because that site has some nice features and I like that all the recipes have a ton of reviews with good suggestions for modifications.


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## CookAMH (Jun 2, 2008)

Time to space out the house projects more and put more into cooking. It sounds like everything else is a priority instead of feeding your family which needs to change.







I'm just sayin!

If DS doesn't like something, offer it again and again on other days. My DS loves plain (whole milk) yogurt with a little molasses (just dip a teaspoon in it and stir in whatever sticks to the spoon), honey and cinnamon.

ANYONE can get better at cooking with practice.

What is your fridge filled with that you have to stack? Is it eating out leftovers or real food?

What kind of milk are you offering him? (I'm assuming whole if not it needs to be whole)

Since he likes salmon, give it another try, and practice, practice. Start with smaller pieces so you don't waste so much, and check it often. Baking is pretty simple and if you follow the recipe it will be fine. Does your oven run hot? One way to know is to buy an oven thermometer and hang it on one of the racks in the oven. Turn the oven to 350 and when it's fully preheated, see what the thermometer says. If it's 25 over, then automatically take 25 off the temp every time you set the oven to bake. That can ruin food every time no matter how closely you follow a recipe.

Seems like most kids like chicken and that is a great meat to practice cooking, just cut into it first to make sure it is not pink inside.

There is a bunch more I could say - I know you have gotten other suggestions.

Don't give him ANYTHING low fat. He needs the fat.

ETA: you mentioned coconout oil - for months my DS loved eating that with a spoon (I'd feed him). See if he likes that, keep it to about a couple teaspoons a day but it's a nutrient dense food.


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## ellegoat (Jun 2, 2010)

Hugs from me too! I feel I'm in the same boat - I'm a terrible cook, and very self-conscious of it, and my LO is a tiny thing who is being monitored for failure to thrive. The doctor has reduced me to tears several times by saying that the only thing that seems to be explaining my LO's small size is that she doesn't eat enough. (On the other hand, she eats well and my husband and I are both small, so I don't entirely buy that.)

Still, it's very stressful for me too to think about what she's going to eat at each meal.

One thing that helps is to cook larger amounts a few times a week instead of everyday, so that you have several leftovers on hand to just warm up for a meal. That also gives you options of what to serve, in case the first thing offer gets rejected.

Also, focus on becoming good at just one dish (one that your LO tends to like) at a time, by cooking it once or twice a week, regularly. For one thing, it will take out the decision of what to cook on those days - you can just fall into a rhythm of if it's Sunday, you make roast chicken or whatever. And for another, you'll eventually become comfortable making it, maybe even without the recipe in front of you, and that sense of comfort will help when you try other things. I've noticed that my LO also kind of like some predictability in her menu as well.


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## sillygrl (Feb 10, 2008)

Lots of hugs! I know how to cook, but I'm so busy/overwhelmed that I just don't like it anymore!! You've got lots of great suggestions here!!

Oh, and I wanted to say I'm the mama of small kids. My oldest was not even *on* the charts when he was young. Now, he'll be 8 in a month and he still only weighs 40 lbs. He's tiny, but he's a healthy little man and the doctor was always able to see that so he didn't worry too much, as long as he was gaining. Still, it was scary to me and I had some guilt at times thinking I wasn't doing something right. Turns out, I was and he's just a small guy.


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## maddymama (Jan 5, 2008)

Hi Mama,
Ok... you've gotten tons of food ideas for you and your LO.
Here's my COOKING tip. CROCKPOTS are awesome. You can throw in some cut up veggiees, broth, barley, etc in the am and have a wonderful soup for dinner. You can even throw in some pasta about 30 minutes before dinner and have it be even more toddler friendly. Both DDs will eat any (cooled-off) soup from the crockpot. 
I also inherited a bread machine from my MIL. So now I make homemade bread to go with our soups.. All that is is measuring and adding in the ingredients and pressing start... homemade bread 4 hours later.  It's hard to mess up bread in bread machines and soup in the crockpot.
Good luck!
~maddymama


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## nycmom18 (Dec 9, 2008)

i know you've gotten a ton of suggestions, and i havent had time to read through them all, but here are my quick tips that help us:

-smoothies! so easy, yogurt or kefir, fruit like banana and frozen strawberries, mango, or raspberries and whatever milk you use or you could even use some type of juice. also adding a scoop of coconut oil tastes really great and totally beneficial. and nut butters.

-we like to make green smoothies, so half greens, then 1 banana, and some frozen fruit mentioned above, with water and a splash of pineapple juice to make it sweet enough. this will help with the iron as well.

-also in the smoothies you could add some type of powdered or liquid supplement, like multivitamin or green mix etc.

-aannnnnddd.....if you dont want to make it, bolthouse juices sell great tasting smoothies already made, but you wouldnt be getting the dairy or coconut oil or nut butter etc.

-for lunch here, i buy a 1/2 lb. of ground turkey and 1/2 lb. of ground beef and put them into portion size ziploc baggies for the week. i take one baggy out the night before in the fridge so it thaws. heat it up in a skillet on medium heat with some butter, and then mix the turkey with applesauce for lunch-tastes sooo good! and the beef with pasta sauce or ketchup.

-i steam frozen broccoli, green beans, and peas for 6 minutes and serve that with lunch and dinner.

and i would just keep offering your ds all different meals, because i promise you, he will eventually eat one!


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## EdnaMarie (Sep 9, 2006)

Oh, mama.







That must be so hard. All of us have our weaknesses as moms.

My tips:

1. Even if it doesn't look nice, or taste restaurant-perfect, or even that good at all, eat it with your son. Like the pancake that falls apart. No problem. Pour real maple syrup on it and go for it. Have fun. That's okay. It will get better with time.

So what if the bottom of the rice burnt. Eat the top part and put a lot of teriyaki sauce on it to cover up that burnt aroma. Or whatever.

Cut the tops off burnt biscuits, don't be afraid to microwave them if they aren't cooked all the way through.

Chicken look horrid? But at least cooked all the way through? Scrape it off the bones, whatever isn't burnt, and put it in pasta with butter and italian herbs from the bottle.

I kid you not I have done ALL of those things and my cooking slowly improved. I've been cooking for years and I still sometimes have to salvage rice and eat a plate full of gooey pancake crumbs. MMMMM. If you put defrosted berries on them and sprinkle with powdered sugar you can pretend it's a delicacy.

In Russia they have a saying: "The first pancake never turns out." So make sure you don't take the first one... or the first batch... too seriously. They have another saying: "Practice, practice, practice!"

(2) Keep offering veggies and drown them in butter. I don't care what anyone says, it tastes good, there's calories and kids love stuff they can pick up. You put them (frozen veggies) in a microwave-safe bowl, cover with water, microwave 3 min on high, pour out water, stir butter in if hot, or microwave for another minute with the butter if not. Wah-lah. Serve with a kosher hot dog warmed up in a frying pan and bread and you have a meal.

Keep trying. Nobody ever learned to cook in a year. You can do this!

It's okay to serve mediocre and even bad food. LOL. My memories of childhood winters were coming home to smell smoke and seeing my mom over the trashcan with a cheese grater, grating the burnt bottoms off of chocolate chip cookies.

To this day, when I smell burnt chocolate or sugar, I think of those winter days.









Oh, and canned beans. Dump in microwave-safe bowl, top with cheese, microwave, serve with the microwaved frozen veggies. Yesss children love it and it's a healthy, balanced meal.

Honestly, if I can do it, you can. Know, when you are scraping burnt spaghetti off the bottom of the pot, after having eaten globby overcooked pasta with under-melted cheese and canned peas in butter, that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. And if your child is eating it... He's eating!!! :yay

For recipes, start simple. I learned to cook using Betty Crocker's Cookbook, Bridal Edition. Basically, it's cooking for idiots. Though, there is probably a Cooking for Idiots book out there. Anyway, she explains everything and there's lots of familiar recipes in there you can go for. It's worth a shot. Now I make more natural, healthy foods but everyone starts somewhere!


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## nycmom18 (Dec 9, 2008)

i also think that children are more apt to eat something that they have been involved with. as simple as taking your ds grocery shopping with you and talking about the food you're picking.

i let me ds turn the blender on for smoothies and he gets really excited,

and he also counts and throws the broccoli and green beans in the steamer before i turn the stove on. (if it doesnt take all day that is









or he likes to squeeze and stir honey in his plain yogurt.

just please be patient with yourself, because i think most of us have been there, and i think learning from not having is the most concrete permanent way to learn. i still go through uncreative times, so i just come on mothering and research what im missing or how to change it up. even just one new meal for a week can really get myself and my ds into food again


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## cytogal (Jul 14, 2008)

This is such a wonderful post! The most difficult thing for me in this stage of parenting (my son is 18 mo.) is getting him to eat! I've found more good suggestions from this post than from anywhere else, and am once again hopeful that I can feed my son well.









I agree with the PP who said that a toddler is more likely to eat a given food if he/she is allowed to help prepare it. That's exactly my experience. I try bring down the food that I'm mixing to where my son can see it (usually spreading a towel or mat over the floor and sitting down). The day he ate a big bowl of mac and cheese with edamame mixed in, that he helped prepare, was the best day of my life (even if the next day he wouldn't touch it)!

Good luck, mama! Think of this as an opportunity in disguise (though such oppotunities are rarely easy)!


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## lkmiscnet (Jan 12, 2009)

I'm the OP.

It turns out, I AM effectively starving our DS, obviously not on purpose. He has not been given enough of an opportunity to chew on things like crackers and other crunchy things as one example. Whenever I tried, he would spit it out, so I would wait a couple of weeks (per what books I read indicated) and try again. He has had texture/oral aversions, so I was taking it slowly. We just needed some professional help along the way and should have taken that route sooner.

We had a feeding clinic appt today with 4 specialists, and the ped and nutritionist indicated that breastmilk past the age of 1 cannot provide adequate calories for an active toddler. BM cannot make up for the lack of variety and volume of a solids diet. I liken it to an adult on a liquid diet with nutritional shakes, obviously not milkshakes. You lose weight. Hence, my underweight DS. He's on a 99% liquid diet predominantly.

They evaluated his eating and it turns out he is not chewing properly and that has repercussions on his speech development because the lateral movement of his tongue is what helps him develop words. Since he has not learned to move his tongue properly eating crunchy things like crackers, it likely has hampered his speech. He only says 4 words and he is so obviously behind his peers when I go to playdates.

So, now he is going to be doing weekly therapy with an OT, which they thought was better than a speech therapist for his needs, because he is thought to have sensory issues as well, and the OT can help with that.

He has fallen off the charts for weight, and they used a growth chart that speaks to babies breastfed for the first year. He is 16 mo and his 12 mo pants fall off him. I have to buy 9 mo pants for him.

I'm kicking myself that we didn't keep our previous feeding clinic eval appt a couple of months ago. He sometimes surprises us by eating well and we thought that the switch must have gone off and he didn't need the help. We almost cancelled this appt for the same reason because his eating volume had increased in the past week. Thank goodness we went.

They were very thorough and took a very detailed history from birth to now.

I wish I hadn't second guessed and self diagnosed. I should have left that to the experts. They collectively have seen thousand of kids, so they know what's normal and what's not.


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## CookAMH (Jun 2, 2008)

I'm glad you went in and got some good guidance! Let us know how it goes. You can't change the past, but it can educate you for the future.


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## DBZ (Aug 9, 2005)

I have issues with what the docs said about BM. Your son is only 16 months. The WHO recommends BM till at least 2. It is a perfect food for him and helps his speech and every other development. Breastfed babies have strong tongues. Have you had issues with his nursing at all since his birth? Did he nurse a lot as a baby? There is far more nutrition in the BM then in crackers. I say nurse him more frequently. How many times is he nursing now? The iron you give him via your breastmilk is more easily absorbed them any other source of iron. As far as table foods are concerned, let him eat whatever he will eat. If he will eat your almond butter on toast then great. It's good for him and it has texture. You can mix rice into his avocado (no reason he can't eat that everyday). You can buy brown rice at Trader Joe's that you can nuke in the microwave.


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## EdnaMarie (Sep 9, 2006)

Quote:

He only says 4 words and he is so obviously behind his peers when I go to playdates.
He's 16 months with four words? Is that four different consonant sounds?

Because my excellent eater, at 17.5 months, has words with three different consonant sounds and just two vowel sounds. She does have a large "vocabulary" but all her words sound the same. I see other kids her age all the time and they are all over the map in terms of speech.

Quote:

He is 16 mo and his 12 mo pants fall off him.
My daughter is in the 45th % for weight and height and her 12 months pants fall off her when she wears no diaper or a disposable diaper, especially OshKosh and Target. Old Navy and Gap fit better.

Please, please do not think that by nursing a child until 16 months you have done something wrong. It is very normal for children to eat few solids and not to speak more than a few words at that age. VERY normal. Yes, the averages, and yes, his weight, but frankly, I think you are assuming that you are literally starving him and that this is affecting his speech and I simply do not hear that.

Yes, he needs more calories if he's off the charts. I agree. But no, it doesn't necessarily have to do with your cooking skills and it also doesn't mean he was meant to be at the 50th percentile. Some kids just talk later. Some kids eat more solids later. They're more methodical. Period.

It's great that you're getting him help but don't beat yourself up. I'd have been thrilled if my child spoke four distinct words at 16 months, or if my almost-18-month old could say more than 3 consonant sounds consistently (she eats tons of crackers and nurses frequently... she's great at chewing in general). And I know my kids are bright, normal, and healthy.

Do not compare him to the dead-average of these charts. Someone has to speak later, and it is not a sign of intelligence or anything. Maybe they're just making sure!


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## always hope (Feb 2, 2008)

I agree with the PP. My daughter is nearly 16 months and has dropped on the growth charts since her 9 month well child appointment. She is still bf on demand and has been eating solids since around 7 months. I offer her a wide range of foods and some days she eats lots and some days she doesn't. I live in the southern hemisphere so it has been winter here and she has been sick a lot with colds and a couple of ear infections. So have I. She totally loses her appetite when she is sick. But she is very active, energetic and usually pretty happy, when she isn't sick. So she has no other signs of being malnourished. I do believe bm is enough exclusively until 1 but then gradually more solid food is needed. I would take the help of the 'experts' but don't assume that you have done anything wrong and be suspicious of blaming his chewing on something like not having enough crackers. Nothing is ever that simple and most 'experts' meet very few children who are breastfed past 6 months let alone more than a year so they are not likely to have a good knowledge of what is 'normal' for a breastfed child. Do you know any other mothers IRL who have breastfed beyond a year who you could talk to? I know my LLL group helps me keep things in perspective when I am worried about Ella. I agree with the PP person who said that with your child dropping off the charts then he needs more food but don't think you have been starving him. It sounds like there may be some other issues at play that need addressing which you couldn't have known about.


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## CookAMH (Jun 2, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DBZ* 
I have issues with what the docs said about BM. Your son is only 16 months. The WHO recommends BM till at least 2. It is a perfect food for him and helps his speech and every other development. Breastfed babies have strong tongues. Have you had issues with his nursing at all since his birth? Did he nurse a lot as a baby? There is far more nutrition in the BM then in crackers. I say nurse him more frequently. How many times is he nursing now? The iron you give him via your breastmilk is more easily absorbed them any other source of iron. As far as table foods are concerned, let him eat whatever he will eat. If he will eat your almond butter on toast then great. It's good for him and it has texture. You can mix rice into his avocado (no reason he can't eat that everyday). You can buy brown rice at Trader Joe's that you can nuke in the microwave.

I took the doctor's comments that she mentioned to mean that exclusive bf is not sufficient at this point, with which I would agree. An active toddler needs more than just breastmilk. I agree it's top notch for the first year, but after that, they need to consume more (but keeping up with bf also is obviously ideal). He does need to move on in his development with eating foods, which the poster is rightly taking the advice to do.


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## Anna's Lovey (Dec 24, 2008)

whole wheat pasta
chicken
beans
grains
frozen vegetables
whole wheat couscous

my toddler is 2.5 and that's all the cooking i do for her.
super easy!


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## Kmama2 (Feb 4, 2009)

I'm glad you got some answers. Don't feel like its your fault though. Some kids are slower to eat solids. My dd didn't eat more than 20% solids till probably 15ish months. My nephew is 2 years old ( just turned 2 in Sept) he is still 95% breastfed. He eats every little solids. He just doesn't want to eat much. He may have feeding issues as well. His parents haven't taken him in for any evaul but I just don't want you to feel like its your fault. My 12 month eats probably 75% solids or more and nurses 4-5 times a day and he isn't even on the charts for height and weight. He is so tiny.


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## lkmiscnet (Jan 12, 2009)

It's just been an emotional roller coaster. One day I tell myself it's fine that he barely ate, but another day I get so frustrated and want to cry (and do). I think I'm just on a short fuse due to lack of sleep and am not handling the everyday stresses as well as I could or should be. I just can't convince myself that he is fine barely eating in a day. I'm sure he's fine, but it's still hard to go through this at every meal.

I suppose he's not starving because I would think he would cry if he were hungry. But then again, I nurse him to pacify him.

The reason for the specialists suggesting cutting back on BM is because it is displacing his eating of solids. He really needs more calories and if I can't get him to eat solids at home, I can't get the calories into him and can't add in any healthy fats (coconut oil, olive oil, butter, etc) because he won't eat what I mix them in. It's a vicious cycle. He BFs more because he is hungry and I can't get him to eat more solids because he is filled up on BM. I have even tried to get him to nurse on just one side, but that still seems to be enough to satiate him and he still doesn't want solids.

When he is tugging at my shirt and pushes away his sippy cup and all food and starts sobbing uncontrollably, and all he wants is to BF, what can I do? MY DH is at work all day, so I am the only one that feeds (or tries to) our DS.

Also, I've been wanting to wean for months and am getting depressed about the whole situation because both of us are not getting what we need. I need much more sleep (we co-sleep) and I am taking it out on our DS because my coping skills are out the window with exhaustion and he needs many more calories than I can provide at this stage of his life.

A typical night is him waking about 3 hours after he is nursed to sleep, then he wakes after about another 2-3 hours (say 2:30am) then he starts waking up hourly after that until he is finally up at around 6:30am. I can't do this anymore. I'm a living zombie during the day and he is not getting a good mom.

He won't sleep through the night until he is getting more calories during the day, as he seems to be making up for the lack thereof at night. And, he is habituated to needing to nurse at night now.

My DH tried to sleep with him the other night for the first time, with the thinking that if I weren't so close to our DS, he might not wake up to nurse. But, he woke up after his normal three hours and cried, so the experiment ended. I couldn't deny him to BF because he probably was legitimately hungry.

I wish I had a crystal ball. A year from now, I'll be saying I wish I knew then what I know now (when he is eating us out of house and home) and I'll wish that I didn't worry so much about it.

I also wish I were enjoying this time more and didn't have something like this to stress about, since stress just feeds into my non-Zen personality. I just think the lack of a solid night's sleep is really taking it's toll on me. Hmmm..we both need our own variation of "solid".


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## Italiamom (Mar 18, 2009)

Aw, ya poor mama. I can hear the exasperation (very warranted). I'm sorry this is such a battle for you.

I would agree with the posters above... That still breastfeeding at 16 months is normal. That there will be days where your toddler will eat a ton of solids, and days where he will only want boob. That it's totally normal to only have the 4 words. That toddler boys have slender waists.

It sounds like you are killing yourself with guilt here. I still wake up once every hour or two at night with my 18 month old. So I hear you on the tired/cranky/exasperated front! But guilt is NOT going to help you. You can't change the past, you can only change the future, so make a plan and focus on what you CAN do. You CAN do it!

One suggestion on the feeding that I didn't see (forgive me if I'm repeating, your thread is looooong), is to offer a few different foods at a time. For example, I'll put down cheese quesadillas, yogurt, and sliced fruit for my DS. Or crackers, cheese, and fruit. Or steamed carrots, hummus, and pitas. I find that when I only give him one option, he usually doesn't want it. But if HE gets to choose what texture/flavor/color goes in the trap, then he's more likely to actually eat it.

Also, have you experimented with how you feed? Let your DS feed himself, or try feeding him. Try leaving him alone (as alone as you should leave a toddler, anyway). Try sitting with him. Try eating at the same time. Try feeding him off a fork. Try feeding him with your fingers. Try giving him his own utensils. And strip him down before you do anything... Let him make a huge mess of himself.

Hit the frozen aisle at your local natural foods store. Pre-prepared frozen organics are waaaay better than no food at all, and require minimal cooking. Try not to get wrapped up in the fact that it's not the best. It's food. It's organic. Plenty of kids get McDonalds every day... A microwaved organic meal from Whole Foods is still going to have nutrients!

And remember, butter makes everything better... You can cook the H-e-doublehockeysticks out of fish, and if it was drowning in butter it would still taste great. And remember, your DS is not a discriminating adult. He isn't thinking "gosh, mom overcooked the fish again."

I'm sorry things are rough for you right now. Big hugs to you mama.


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## EdnaMarie (Sep 9, 2006)

I totally know where you are coming from in terms of lack of sleep. That also probably takes its toll on him.

Have you asked about sleep here? Some people will suggest that zombie-hood is quite normal and even fine, but you will also get some very good suggestions. I found No-Cry Sleep Solution to be a good start for us.

I also suggest letting him snack throughout the day if mealtimes aren't working. So nurse, but then offer snack foods. Normally I wouldn't suggest that for an older child, but if dates, carrot sticks, etc. are available and he can get say, cream in a sippy in the car, it might just work.

Good luck. I know you are under a lot of stress and I know what it's like to get hardly any sleep. My (non co-sleeping, but still night nursing 'cause guess what, I'm too tired to actively parent at night to break this habit) 18-mo-old has only been sleeping longer stretches very recently and it has been hard.


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## cyclamen (Jul 10, 2005)

We're in a similar boat as you, OP. My daughter, who is almost 16m, at her last appt was in the 4th percentile for weight at just under 19lbs. She still can fit into 6-9m clothes.

My doctor also threw around the words "failure to thrive" but he didn't seem very concerned. He told us to give her more cows milk. So we tried that.

I think she has some issues digesting either casein or gluten, because she started getting constipated. So I cut both of those out of her diet and mine about two weeks ago... no more mucosy poops, no more constipation, the red ring on her butt is disappearing. Hopefully she will start gaining more weight too since gluten intolerance can interfere with absorbing enough nutrition.

cut a bunch of stuff and edit:

Quote:

When he is tugging at my shirt and pushes away his sippy cup and all food and starts sobbing uncontrollably, and all he wants is to BF, what can I do? MY DH is at work all day, so I am the only one that feeds (or tries to) our DS.
I missed this part of your post. Oh mama, this is hard. I don't know. Have you tried sitting him down and explaining to him why you are trying to encourage him to eat more solids? It sounds hokey, but I feel that my daughter is much more likely to go along with what I am doing if I explain it to her, even if it seems like she couldn't understand. I tell her that I love her, but that I need her to eat more food, and that she will only nurse at certain times of the day because she's a big girl and that is what big girls do. At those times, she gets to nurse as long as she wants, so she gets more hindmilk. And other times, I just say, "Food, eat?" and remind her that her next nursing time is (after her nap, after dinner, after the sun comes up).
And it really does seem to help. I do think setting nursing boundaries/nightweaning is a good mothering decision. I do think it has helped us, and it seems it could help you too.

Also... could he be getting his molars? My daughter asks for "food" by signing sometimes but she really wants something to chew on because she's in pain. She pushes away food even though she asks for food.


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## lkmiscnet (Jan 12, 2009)

He just had two molars break through within the past week on the right and left upper sides, and definitely had a couple of nights of lots more crying than normal and wanting to stay latched much of the night.

I would think that chewing would make him feel better, since he is chewing on his hands and my fingers, but he still pushes away a lot of the food I offer.

He continues to not eat much on most days at home. I have been giving him lots of crackers (graham cracker sticks) and veggie chip sticks throughout the day, so he can get used to chewing on crunchier things, and he loves the graham sticks. I carry them with me on errands now.

He eats the most (what I share off my plate) when we go out to eat, but we only can do that maybe 2 times a week. I always order salmon, which he loves. I'll have to try making at home and see how he takes to it.

I also am giving him smoothies made of coconut oil, frozen berries, cow's milk, and a bit of frozen spinach. Sometimes he will drink it, other times he pushes it away and cries for just plain old cow's milk.

Lately, I've been going 6-7 hour stretches of not BFing during the day. I don't know if that is good or bad or a good start to the weaning process. Time will tell...

Oh, and to answer a previous question, as far as consonants spoken, he says the following words: mama, dada, daddy, doggie, and baby.


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## EdnaMarie (Sep 9, 2006)

He can say the "g" in "doggie"? Then he's miles ahead of my DD that eats a wide variety of foods. I'm sorry I just don't buy your doc's assertion that he needs to chew to pronounce consonants.

Roasted salmon is hard to do perfectly but easy to do well: pre-heat to 400, top with butter, salt and pepper. 15-20 minutes. Keep checking until it flakes easily. I mess mine up but it still tastes like butter, salt, pepper and fish. LOL! Good luck. Use frozen fillets.


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## dividedsky (Jul 24, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lkmiscnet* 
HeLately, I've been going 6-7 hour stretches of not BFing during the day. I don't know if that is good or bad or a good start to the weaning process. Time will tell...

that's how i started to wean. i know a lot of people cut out the night time first, but for me, it was easier to cut out daytime first. my boys (i have twins) were at the point where they were just nursing to sleep and at night for probably 2-3 months or so. and then one night i realized that the nursing to sleep and at night thing was simply not working any more, for multiple reasons, so i cut that out and they were weaned fully at ~16mos. i know everyone here says to BF forever, but for me and for my kids it was really time to stop. they finally learned to fall asleep without the boob and started sleeping through within days. i am really glad i breastfed them for as long as i did, but i was also really happy to be done with it to be honest. and since they were getting more sleep, their temperaments improved, so i think they were truly ready, too.

just throwing that out there to you. it might not be the answer, but since you are going long stretches without nursing and since it sounds like you want to be done but are stuck on it.... i thought maybe it might be good to know that i was where you're at, took the plunge, and am glad that i did. the first few nights were tough, but after that it was 100000% great. breaking any habit is hard.

sounds like you're making great progress with the graham cracker sticks! keep it up! you'll eventually find more things with texture that he likes, i'm sure, and the eating will improve from there! just run with it!


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## Minxie (Apr 15, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lkmiscnet* 
When he is tugging at my shirt and pushes away his sippy cup and all food and starts sobbing uncontrollably, and all he wants is to BF, what can I do? MY DH is at work all day, so I am the only one that feeds (or tries to) our DS.

Are YOU eating enough? If you are not getting enough calories into you, then BF-ing him can take its toll on your health as well.


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