# Feel like I've Sold my Soul to the Devil...



## MamaHippo (Dec 4, 2004)

We had one heck of a rotten night last night. And i did something i vowed to never do...ever....

I let DS CIO







: . I am so ashamed.

We have been doing the No-Cry Sleep Solution for 3 months with no discernable change in his sleeping. But we still do everything it says. By 7 pm DS was looking sleepy so we begun his bedtime ritual (bath, massage in dim room, one book, nurse, rock, bed). DS is now in his crib for the first part of the night, then comes into our bed if he wakes after midnight (DH and I's compromise so we get "couple time"). He nursed and fell asleep ok. He woke up 1 hour later, nursed a little, fussed for a minute while i rubbed his back and sang to him, then asleep again. Repeat this process again every half hour until 1 am. By then our sleep log spaces for nightwaking were all full, I was exhausted and had a killer headache. So at 1 am i bring him into our bed to nurse a little, he nurses, then Tada! his eyes pop open, wide awake, and he starts patting my face and talking and trying to engage me to play, the way he does when he wakes up for the day in the morning. Except this was 1:30 am. I nursed and nursed, rocked, changed diaper, tried my whole bag of tricks to get him to sleep again, but no dice. Our bedroom is not safe enough to let him just crawl around unfettered while I sleep, and he is very rough (pulling hair, scratching, etc). DH was frustrated and exhausted too (DH climbs telephone poles all day, and has been so tired due to DS's sleep issues that he fell asleep behind the wheel of his truck once, and has been suffering in performance at work, and has to get up at 4 am). I was at the end of my rope. I took DS, my pillow and blanket, and DS's lovey into his room. I kissed DS, told him i loved him, and laid him in the crib with his lovey. i sat next to the crib and stroked him thru the bars. He cried for almost 45 mins. I never left him, and he could still see me, but he cried himself to sleep. i cried about as much as he did. I slept on his floor until he woke 3 hours later.
I feel so terrible about it, but at the same time I feel like i had NO OTHER OPTIONS. nothing was working. Dh now says we have to continue with CIO for a while (ferberizing) to help him sleep on his own. I am committed to making the NCSS work for us, but what could i have done at that moment at 1:30 am to get him to sleep without CIO? If the NCSS isnt working after 3months, will it ever??
This isnt the kind of mom i am. I dont want to EVER ignore my babys cries. I feel terrible.









Lisa


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## jmreinke (Jan 1, 2003)

In my opinion, I dont think you did CIO. You were there with him comforting him the entire time. If I remember correctly, the end of the NCSS book actually addresses exactly what you did. Even Dr. Sears talks about patting your baby through the crib as you desperately try to be the best mom you can at attending to both you and your baby's needs.

Now as far as continuing with that ala Ferber, I don't think you did Ferber anyway, so what's there to continue with? You did the best you could do last night. You are not a bad mother, and again, I don't call what you did CIO.

DD#1 was waking every 30 min when she was 10-12 months old. All night long!! I sucessfully used the NCSS with her, but it did take time, and lots of tears (some on her part, mostly on my part). For us, it was not a "no cry" solution, but it was gentle, and did eventually work.

I don't know enough about your exact situation to help you with the NCSS technique, but I did just want to offer support that you are not a bad mommy, and you did nothing wrong last night.


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## nicholas_mom (Apr 23, 2004)

Is he teething?? I tried the NCSS, too and it did not work for us. Just helped in finding out when he was tired enough for sleep and helped develop a routine.

When ds would be awake alot it usually is because of teething. I always wondered when it would end also. Now, after all his teeth almost in, he wakes 1 or 2 a night. However, we co-sleep so I always nurse to sleep. Me and dh have "couple time" elsewhere in the house, guest bedroom.

Good Luck!! There is the Jay Gordon method of night weaning also.


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

I agree with the others. If you stayed with him while he was crying and slept right next to the crib so you could hear him the moment he woke up again, that wasn't CIO. You weren't ignoring his cries, you were responding to his cries, saying, in effect "Yes, I know you want to get up and play right now but you have to stay in a bed, and it's OK to be sad and mad about it and I love you even when you're sad and mad."


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## MamaHippo (Dec 4, 2004)

Thank you all so much for the votes of confidance. DH and I have been hashing it out over the CIO issue for months. DH's mom ( my nemesis) has been pushing the CIO thing since he was a newborn, and ive been saying No, No, the NCSS will work, for months. Maybe i will have to give it more months?

DS just got his first 2 teeth in, on the bottom. Could he be teething again already?

Again, thank you so much for the support. I needed to hear that i am not a Ferber Monster.

Lisa


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## jmreinke (Jan 1, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MamaHippo*

DS just got his first 2 teeth in, on the bottom. Could he be teething again already?

Oh yes,..... you've only just begun...









Sometimes it will be a bother to him other times, the teeth may just show up.

I remember when I was going through something similar, and I had just about given up thnking that maybe when mine were teenagers, they would finally be sleeping through the night.

It does happen. Way before then even.







Hang in there. Just remember that you are doing your best, and to listen to your heart. Don't let your MIL get in your way (I have one of those MIL"s too).

You are doing great!


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## merino (Dec 2, 2003)

Lisa, My DS was born last July also, and we're going through the EXACT same thing! DS starts the evening in the crib, just like your little one, then comes into our bed so I won't have to get up every time he wakes up. I have no advice, but maybe it's the age? I had to put DS back in his crib one morning @4 am because he would not go back to sleep. He cried and I felt horrible. I just keep telling myself that this won't go on forever...


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## mumof4 (Aug 12, 2004)

My dd had a phaze where she was up everynight like that. the only thing that worked for us was to take her to livingroom and i put my baby bethoven video on for her, she loved it and it put us both to sleep again! I live in townhouse so i have to not only think of my family but the ones next to us when it comes to a midnight wailer. But this always worked for us, the music is so relaxing.

Jodie


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## chicagodawn (Mar 5, 2005)

I do not think that what you did is CIO. You were there the entire time, so ds did not feel abandoned, and you comforted him.

We are actually doing something similar with our ds, he always had to be walked/bounced to sleep (this stemmed from his severe reflux, he needed so much comfort from birth to seven months he was in constant pain). He has never co-slept, his crib was sharply angled to combat reflux, and we had a breathing monitor for the first 7 months.

About 3 weeks ago, we decided to slowly transition him from bouncing to sleep, to falling asleep IN the crib. We started by sitting next to the crib, and consoling him any time he did get upset. we NEVER ignored his cries. But actually, he played and scooted around more than anything, only cried at the end when really really tired.

When he cried, we rubbed his back and made "sh" noises (that has always comforted him). So basically, he went from being bounced to sleep, to having his back rubbed to fall asleep. If he is ever too upset (happened twice, due to teething), we immediately stop this new process, and return to the bouncing, or whatever he seems to need at that moment.

Now...3 weeks in, he completely fell asleep on his own last night! No back rubbing, no shushing. I now sit about 6 feet away from his crib (we move farther each day, dh and I take turns). I was SHOCKED - the room was dark, I didn't even realize he had fallen asleep.

So...this sounds similar to what you did last night, and I definitely wouldn't consider it CIO, since you comforted the entire time. In my son's case, he really did need to learn to fall asleep without constant movement, and we were there with him the entire time. Like I mentioned, we are always prepared to abandon it on any given night if he seems "off", but that has only happened 2 times in 3 weeks. He seems to like scuffling around in his crib.

Given our success with this (we didn't progress far with the No Cry Sleep Solution, although I love the book, and do like her advice about bedtime routines), I understand CIO even less that before (and I never really understood it). In my opinion, there is no excuse for unattended, no comfort CIO, there are other options

Good luck to you!

Dawn
Ben 6-15-04







boy:


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## BathrobeGoddess (Nov 19, 2001)

Hang in there mommy! It is possible your ds is confused about where it is that he sleeps ( I think I might have gotten that from NCSS) maybe that is why you are having a hard time getting the NCSS to work for you. I glened from you op that your ds has his crib in his room, not in your room? He might see your bed and room as a play space so when he wakes up he thinks it is morning time and time to play...just a thought you could move his crib into your room and make it the "sleeping room"....


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## mollyeilis (Mar 6, 2004)

I know nothing about NCSS, but lots about teething so far (8 teeth in, 1 knocked out in highchair accident in just outside 2 months span...), and oh, those teeth hurt them so much!

If it isn't the teeth, let me tell you what we've been doing for ages now, just as an idea.

Both hubby and I are nightowls, and even though DH wakes early for work, going to bed early just doesn't work for him. I personally feel as though I'm missing a party if I go to bed early, so unless I'm extremely sick I don't. I'm lucky enough that I can sleep in, and I tend to need more sleep than the average person, always have.

Since we like nighttime, we figured we'd let DS learn to like it too. So he and I wake late...after nine if he's rising early, sometimes at 11 if the day before was rough or long or busy or if he has been content to nurse and nurse and nurse until he passes out LOL. He's VERY active and has been since he was very young, and currently will get tired around 1. Usually will accept a nap around then, if not then then by 3. Naps a couple or few hours. Wakes up, hubby gets home, DH and I have dinner while DS plays and plays and plays. Then he plays some more.

Perhaps around 7pm, when you're putting your guy to *bed*, we put ours down for a *nap*. He wakes around 9, when one more hour of *serious* play does him much, much good. I'll nurse him yet again until he's really milked up, DH takes him and puts him to bed, and usually DH will go to bed at that time as well unless CSI or Law and Order are on.










With that schedule, DS sleeps through the night, "with breaks for meals". If we mess with the evening nap, he's up up up, just like you describe.

So what I wonder when I read posts like yours, is if your baby is a nightowl, and if there's leeway in your morning schedule to laze about, if perhaps a change so the bedtime can be seen as more of a nap, and if he could be gotten up for some serious, tiring play, before being put down for the night.

Hope this helps in some tiny way.


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## Gendenwitha (Apr 2, 2002)

My only question is do you feel guilty because you're not following something you believe to be true in your mind or because you're not doing what your heart tells you to do?

I've seen plenty of examples where the best thing for the child is the mother's instinct which may include things that are not "AP".


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## Icequeen_in_ak (Mar 6, 2004)

I understand your conflicted feelings. There have been times that I have had to lay next to my daughter while she cried (last night being one of them). I don't consider it CIO... you are there with them... they are NOT alone in a room feeling abandoned and scared.

NCSS did wonders for us, but all kids have off nights. I suspect teething is your enemy right now (and FWIW, my dd started getting teeth at 9 months and hasn't STOPPED getting them since... she's cutting her 4 canine teeth right now.... already has the molars... so hopefully she's done after these for a while). Teething really hurts them and keeping on top of pain remedy will save you.

I also read that you started your bedtime routine when he displayed signs of sleepiness. I'm venturing to guess that if you are *starting* your bedtime routine at that point, you are too late. When my dd started showing signs of fatigue, she went straight to bed. My focus was to get her into bed before she caught her second wind. What I also discovered, by lots of nights of frustration is that a bath is NOT a good bedtime thing for her. It actually stimulates her and wakes her back up... so we switched our baths to morning and bedtimes are much better.


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## PancakeGoddess (Oct 8, 2004)

To begin with, I do want to offer support and hugs to the sleep-deprived mama. I've btdt for many years... it's really hell.

But still.







:

In my opinion, it ~is~ emotional abandonment to refuse to pick up a baby who is used to being picked up when he cries, every day of his life so far. It's an abrupt change in behavior and seems very confusing to such a young baby. A baby who is waking so frequently might really be needing extra touch, not less.

I don't want to be attacking or cause any drama, but I was really having anxiety reading this thread. Is anyone else feeling that the scenario described by the op was not something to support? I support the mama! But not that particular decision...


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## edamommy (Apr 6, 2004)

Hugs to you mama. I'm the mom of a very very high needs (well, he was... he's matured A TON since nb) newborn / infant. And I can tell you, sometimes there's NOTHING else you can do! I couldn't ever NOT hold my ds when he was crying ... but he would CIO in my arms sometimes. It's rough. It sucks. It sure is nice if they do happen to tire themselves out. UGH. Good luck to you and your sleeping-journey. At two years our boy still has LONG nights.


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## KnitterMama (Mar 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *benjalo*
To begin with, I do want to offer support and hugs to the sleep-deprived mama. I've btdt for many years... it's really hell.

But still.







:

In my opinion, it ~is~ emotional abandonment to refuse to pick up a baby who is used to being picked up when he cries, every day of his life so far. It's an abrupt change in behavior and seems very confusing to such a young baby. A baby who is waking so frequently might really be needing extra touch, not less.

I don't want to be attacking or cause any drama, but I was really having anxiety reading this thread. Is anyone else feeling that the scenario described by the op was not something to support? I support the mama! But not that particular decision...









: for me too, I felt the same anxiety while reading the thread.

But really, I'm not questioning you OP Mama! I support you totally and want to give you many many




























. I know sleep deprivation can be *very* difficult and turns one into an emotional wreck. I think you did the best you could at the time.

I do agree, teething probably has a lot to do with it. I also think what the PP said about perhaps your DS being confused about where the sleeping place is has some validity to it. Because of your DH's situation, maybe you and babe could start sleeping in DS's bedroom to start to transition him to that (or, like PP said move his crib into your room). Either way, you might think about just one room being the sleeping place.

I also liked what Molly had to say about changing your DS schedule if it is possible.


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## FancyPants (Dec 25, 2004)

You seem like a very empathic parent. I would not classify that as strict CIO.

slightly









and quite possibly flame material
but my ds1 started sleeping through the night (5 hrs stretch) when I slowly increased the time between his feedings. Sorta the reverse of how you are supposed to diet with small feedings to make your stomach shrink. He slowly started to take more at one sitting and was able to make it through the night. This may have no bearing on your situation at all but I thought I'd mention it.

Again,









CJ


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## my2girlsmama (Oct 21, 2004)

I am sure you had a hard time mama.

My oldest, now 5, I did the same thing, though I didn't stay with her the entire time and though I *did* go into her every 3 min, I cried so much..........but after a few nights she settled........I have moments I regret having not known about family bed (we did co sleep a bit then too though) etc.........

My now 1 yr old is at the stage of waking and not settling...and parts of me fear I'll lose it again and suffer that massive sleep deprivation thing and such.......but most of me knows this is the stage for learning to walk, talk, etc..........and with that comes the waking and clingy stuff. This gives me hope that in a few short weeks/months it will be better and she'll be in her crib..........our plan to transition her there has paused to get through this stage.....not the best of times and I can't offer you much other than the hug and to say you do what you must to survive.


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## Vicitoria (Dec 17, 2004)

To me, CIO is leaving for long periods of time and not caring. I don't think you did that. In the past few weeks with the change in weather my son doesn't even realize he's tired. He will use every last bit of energy he has to get up and crawl away. I've found I have to put him in his crib and let him cry for about 3 minutes. Then I pick him up again, he realizes he's tired and I can rock him or feed him to sleep. I start curling up on the mattress on the floor by his crib with a bottle, get's up and crawls away. I try it again and then I let him go for 15 minutes or so and then start all over again. If it doesn't work the second time it's the crib and 3 minutes of crying. I tried waiting until he just dropped and that just never worked and the lack of sleep was becoming detrimental to his health and his all around sleeping patterns. You do what you need to do. Little one's need sleep even if they don't think so. It's called being a responsible parent.


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## PancakeGoddess (Oct 8, 2004)

I agree, it's awful to let a baby cio and not care. On the other hand, the baby doesn't really know the difference. Being soothed and patted through crib bars may or may not be better than nothing, as the baby hears mom but isn't being picked up as usual. That seems like it could be very distressing too.

I am not interested in making anyone feel guilty or attacking anyone. We're all really working hard to do a good job as mamas. Still, this is a *Mothering* board, and if I can't count on hearing some serious NO-cio opinions on Mothering, where can I? I mean, I'm pretty discouraged.


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## hunnybumm (Nov 1, 2003)

I am actually very surprised that the original poster is getting so much praise for her action. I support you momma but I don't support what you did. Everyone has bad nights, everyone has done things they regret, everyone has let their child cry for a minute or two so they could regain their composure and properly care for their baby. Had you let your child cry in the crib for 2 mintues while patting his back so you could calm yourself down, I would have found that very acceptable. But you left him in his crib for 45 minutes? That is a lot of crying, even CIO supporters say the crying shouldn't last that long. I know you were patting his back, but that is still letting him cry in his crib for 45 minutes.

Ok, now a couple of suggestions. My son did the exact same thing when he was about the same age. He got sick, so I let him sleep from 11am to 6pm. He stayed up until about 2am then went to sleep and woke up at 8am. His sleep schedule for the next week or so was to sleep from 7pm - 2am, awake for a couple hours, then sleep from 4am - 8 am. I finally fixed his schedule by skipping a nap and playing at a friends house so he would stay awake until 9pm, then he slept until 8am.

Also, like mentioned above he may be confused about where is the play area and where is the sleep area. Try moving his crib to your room and make your room a 'no play' area. As soon as he wakes up, move into the living room to play.

I also agree that you may be waiting too long to 'start' your night time routin. If you wait until he shows signs of being tired to give a bath, read, etc it may be too late. Your night time routine may also be too long. Maybe try giving a bath earlier in the day, and read 1 book, nurse, then sleep. Having a 1 hour night time routin may be too long for him.

How many naps is he getting during the day? If he is getting two than maybe it is time to cut down to one nap. Or maybe he is taking a nap too late in the day.

I hope you don't feel attacked because that is not my intetion but I don't think letting your child cry for an extended amount of time to be acceptable at all. I hope you find a solution that works for your family. Also, don't give up on one suggestion too quick, it may take a week or more to get the best benefit.


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## mama24-7 (Aug 11, 2004)

When you know better, you do better. Obviously, the OP didn't know what to do w/ her child at 1:30am and having been in the shoes of getting pressure to CIO constantly, I don't know that I wouldn't have done the same thing in her shoes (my dd never woke to play, so I never really felt like I had no other choice).

I don't think it's the right thing to do to leave a baby cry, but when you are pressured constantly, and your husband is falling asleep while driving, that's a lot to withstand.

And as the PP said, I don't think what the OP is getting is praise. It seems to me to be mostly sypmathy and suggestions on doing better.

I tried stuff from NCSS for months also and nothing ever helped my dd to sleep better. I think I may have figured out that cow's milk is not helping and have stopped giving it to her. Haven't been doing it for long to know if that's it, but I figure it's worth a try.

Anyway, THere are a lot of consequences to making things like Feberizing your routine. It may make your dc sleep for now, but not likely when the next teeth come in, you travel, you're away, etc., etc. Good luck finding something that will help. Can you sleep in another room from dh so that he's not being woken up by dc too?

Sus


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## hunnybumm (Nov 1, 2003)

mama24-7 I truely felt like the OP was getting praise as well as other people saying they would do the same. As far as my reasoning goes what she did is just a step away from CIO. Like I said above I don't want to make her feel attacked but I was trying to nicely say that letting your child scream for 45 minutes is a bit excessive. I completely understand needing a few minutes to calm ones self, but IMO 45 minutes is a bit excessive. There have been many great suggestions on how to avoid this in the future and ways to possibly prevent another occourance (sp?), I just hope the OP tries some / all of the suggestions and doesn't resort to having her child scream in his crib for 45 mintues while she rubs his back. Five minutes would be max IMO.


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## Tuesday (Mar 3, 2003)

Mamahippo, just wanted to say a couple of things. DS is 23 months now and most nights only wakes 2-3 times for a few minutes to nurse but I fully remember those sleepless nights, one after another and being brain dead and tired and it was very stressful. I can't advise re NCSS b/c honestly it just didn't work for me. What did work was so I didn't have DS CIO: co-sleeping. DS still woke a lot (yes, every 30 minutes or so on bad nights) but the sleeping was much better once I stopped trying to get him into his crib. I lowered the bed (removed the headboard and the box spring) and child-proofed our bedroom. There was a night and day difference between trying to have DS in a crib and in my own bed, cuddled up to his mom.

My husband works odd hours and like your DH, I worry about his safety - he drives 1-2 hours each way to his work and often has been up 20 hours without sleep. So, many nights DH sleeps in the spare room and this works out well - I deal with DS and DH gets sleep so I don't worry (as much) about him falling asleep at the wheel or getting into some sort of accident. Is there a spare room your DH could sleep some nights - it might help if at least one parent is getting enough sleep.

The other thing was when DS is getting teeth, sick or has eaten something that disagrees with him (or I have consumed MSG unknowingly), he wakes frequently. I do the best I can to help him but sometimes he just wakes - a lot. But, I know it would have been much worse if he was in his crib.

I don't think what you did was CIO per se but I don't think it's something I would encourage but I know you were at the end of your rope, for sure. Personally, I found when I read NCSS I got stressed out just thinking I had to keep a sleep journal, etc. etc. I finally gave up and did what my SILs did with their DC - get DH to sleep in a place that gives him enough sleep to function and co-sleep and realize that eventually things get better. Keep us posted!


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## Mommiska (Jan 3, 2002)

OP - I feel for you - I really do! All of those nightwakings are just not fun (and so difficult). We've just come through a phase with my almost 20 month old where he was waking every 30 minutes to an hour all night long (he had a bad cough).

The cough is gone now, and he is - miraculously! - sleeping through the night most nights now (he'll sometimes wake up around 11 pm or so, but either dh or I go up, cuddle him for 2-3 minutes, give him a drink of water, and he usually goes right back to sleep).

I don't think what you did was equivalent to CIO - you were there with your ds the whole time. That said - I notice that your ds is 9.5 months old? I think there are times when it is OK not to pick up a child at night to encourage night-time sleeping, but I'd be uncomfortable with doing that this early, you know?

And I'll be honest - I tried this approach with dd2 around the same age (I think she was 10-11 months or so) - it's something I regret, and I don't think it helped dd2's sleeping at all. So I'm speaking from experience here!

I think at this age, a baby is just too young to really 'learn' much of anything from this approach. It's the reason parents who CIO often have to re-CIO after every cold/teething episode/etc that causes their child to start night-waking again, you know?

I don't know much about NCSS, but I do think, from my experience with my three children, that little ones under a year (at the youngest) are just too little to start sleeping through the night on a regular basis.

But you are a good mom and are doing a great job for your ds. Hang in there! I wish I had some good ideas for you. It is sooo difficult when you aren't getting enough sleep.


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## Vicitoria (Dec 17, 2004)

MammaHipo, thank you for sharing your experience. I think that took courage on this site. Reality is reality and we have to deal with what comes however we can. I'm glad you are able to find the support you need and a place to vent your frustration. Hang in there.


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## KnitterMama (Mar 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tuesday*
The other thing was when DS is getting teeth, sick or has eaten something that disagrees with him (or I have consumed MSG unknowingly), he wakes frequently.









!!!!

This may be a dumb question (uh, blame it on me being a FTM) but...








: MSG can cause frequent waking???







: I think you may have just solved a mystery for us.


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## MamaHippo (Dec 4, 2004)

Wow...i never expected to get so many replies. I was very afriad to post that experience but yet i felt i needed to, to make it real to me. I have been comforted and humbled by all the replies here. thank you, ladies, for your honesty.
In truth, I did not know what else to do at that moment in time. I was not trying to be apathetic or emotionally abandon my precious baby. that was the last thing i wanted to do. Every time i picked him up out of the crib, he'd wake up more. I was at the end of my rope. Nothing else was working.
We do cosleep for 90% of the night. Nowadays DS and i rock and nurse in his room, then when he's asleep i lay him in his crib. When he wakes the first time, he comes into our bed. Thats just so DH and i can have some alone time. But on that night, DS was not wanting to sleep at all, even in our bed, on the breast. We do not play in our bedroom, but we do play in DS's room. I think i will move the crib into our room, and try doing the bedtime routine earlier.
I do not let DS CIO as a matter of course. I have never left him to cry alone. He is always with me and naps in bed with me every day.
He did not fully scream for 45 mins, though i know that doesnt matter. But i didnt know what else to do, with fatigue and headache clouding my judgement. There's me laying in the dark, pounding headache, dh moaning about how he has to get up in 3 hours, and there's DS climbling all over me, pulling my hair, scratching me, biting me when i try to nurse him and crying when i lay him down on the bed to try to sleep. I felt like I was going to lose it. So I put him in a physically safe place, put myself in a safe place, and did my best to comfort him while trying to get him to sleep.
I have not repeated that incident since, and dont plan to. I have given up on trying to get him to sleep longer or without me next to him until he has stopped actively cutting teeth (we just got another top tooth - just like one PP said!). I feel that I am making myself more depressed and DS more confused by trying to change things. So i think i will put things on hold for a while until out lives are less crazy and then work on it.

I love cosleeping, and I love my son. I hope i did not give anyone the opposite impression.









Again, thank you all for your honesty and your great ideas. I will try everything I can when the time is right to make changes.

Lisa


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## Ellien C (Aug 19, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MamaHippo*
There's me laying in the dark, pounding headache, dh moaning about how he has to get up in 3 hours, and there's DS climbling all over me, pulling my hair, scratching me, biting me when i try to nurse him and crying when i lay him down on the bed to try to sleep. I felt like I was going to lose it.

I've had those days, too. I would lie down on the floor in DD room, which is safe, and "model sleep" for her. By which I mean, I would sleep on the floor while she crawled around. protect my hair and eyes sometimes by hiding my head under the covers. If she wanted to pull her or nurse or bite or something. I'd I trusted that if she ever got into real trouble in the room, then my mommy instinct would kick-in and I'd wake up. Eventually she would snuggle up to me and go to sleep.

I never felt great after these nights on the floor and all, but it's what I did at that end of my rope, I-cannot-carry-this-kid-around-the-house-in-the-middle-of-the-night-until-she-falls-asleep frame of mind.


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