# Moving a toddler from co-sleeping to independent sleeping



## cutekid (Aug 5, 2004)

First let me start by saying that this is something I have wanted to do for awhile. I realize that co-sleeping is a wonderful night time arrangment for most families well into childhood. This arrangment is no longer working for me, and I have other reasons for not wanting to continue co-sleeping.

Moving on, about my sleeping issues. My DS used to nurse to sleep like a champ. I could count on 30 minutes for my DS to go to sleep, this included telling his dad good night, books, and nursing. In the past few months, it can take up to three hours for my ds to settle down to go to sleep. His bedtime is at eight, every night (unless he takes a nap after 3PM, then its 9:30) I make sure he's in the bedroom at 8PM. There's so many nights, I don't leave his room until after 10.







We read 4-6 books depending on length, then I turn off the night light, and nurse. He takes about 15 minutes to nurse on both sides. Then he's ready to play. I have to lay with him to keep in bed, he tosses and turns. I feel like because I am in there, he stays up longer, but he will not stay on his bed. He'll get up, and follow me out of his room. He always started the night out in room, since he was an infant. He is very familiar with sleeping in bed, alone, but he's not familiar with falling asleep alone.


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## Roxanne05 (Jul 19, 2005)

Hi, My DS is 17mos old. He also goes down around 8pm every night, with a similar routine to yours. He recently switched from two naps per day to one. I have noticed that this has made putting him down at night much easier. He has his bath, then about 7pm we go into the bedroom to hang out on the bed to look at books and listen to light music. About 7:55 or so I turn the lights off and nurse him for 5 to 20 minutes until he falls asleep. Most nights this works.

Good luck.


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## cutekid (Aug 5, 2004)

Any one else. My DS used to fall asleep nursing but it rarely works anymore


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## reezley (May 27, 2006)

Not sure if you're asking about how to get him to fall asleep by himself or if you are trying to stop co-sleeping during the rest of the night...?

The only experience I have is along the same lines as the pp. DS is 26 months and in the past month has basically dropped his afternoon nap - it had become so difficult to get him to stay in bed for his nap that I gave up on it. It has made bedtime a lot easier - I used to be in his room for about an hour, nursing a teeny bit, telling a story, then patting, rubbing back, singing songs softly, snuggling, until finally still and asleep. Now it takes a half hour or less usually. We do still cosleep at night, so I can't offer any advice there!


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## cutekid (Aug 5, 2004)

I would like my DS to be okay with going to sleep alone. As for dropping a nap, I thought that was going to happen, but he still needs his nap. He gets so cranky and out of his mind in the late afternoon without a nap. I usually aim for his nap to be around 1 PM, but no later than 4.


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## lerlerler (Mar 31, 2004)

That sounds exactly like my DD's old routine.

The NEW one? ONE book. ONLY one book... (I'll read the board books twice if she picks one)

We actually got a routine... and she recites it and is SO PROUD to remember what comes next... Night diap, Tickle teeth (brush), hot milkies, one book and SLEEP

She's weaned, but after the one book I used to keep reading and pleading for her to try to sleep.. .blah blah blah.... but I think the books stimulated her

Now? I read the one book and ask "what comes next?" and she yells "SLEEP"

and I told her that as long as she is trying to sleep I will lay with her until she falls asleep... but if she starts goofing around I'll leave and come back when she's ready to sleep (I say this in a non-punitive way like "OK, I'll go throw in the laundry while you settle down") but I only had to remind her of the deal ONCE

Now, I read the story, say "sleepy time" and lay my head next to hers.. whisper that I love her and a few sweet memories rom the day and then STOP TALKING (hard for me), she grabs my hand and holds it, puts her face INCHES from mine, smiles her sweetest smile and actually drifts of to sleep!!!

Bedtime used to be torture, now I love it.

Your milage may vary but try getting your DC to create the routine with you and let them remind you what comes next

HTH


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## cutekid (Aug 5, 2004)

My DS knows our routine too. We have had a similar bedtime routines since about a month old. REALLY! Theres a bath, and 3 minutes of superbaby time (he runs around with a towel on his head), then its bedtime clothes, tell daddy good night, tooth brush, water cup, then we go to his room, (lately he has to look at the glow in the dark stars on the walk, before I turn on the lamp), and then we read our books, then he nurses on each side, and then its time for sleep.
When I wrote the orignial post, I didn't know that we were moving. Only a few days later, and its confirmed we are moving this weekend, so any changes are going to be minimal. His new room will be down the hall from us, as opposed to right next door.

Denise


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