# My daughter is showing signs of physical abuse, but there's a semi-happy update on post 23



## black balloon (Dec 10, 2008)

I made a post earlier in the week about my daughter's changed sleep schedule. I had to go out without her yesterday but my partner (her father) called me to tell me that he was taking Rory (our daughter) to the ER because she was acting like she couldn't keep her eyes open and she kept gingerly touching the sides of her head like they hurt her. She'll be four in May.

The results of the ER visit was them finding "suspicious bruises" on Aurora's head. Wherever there was hair covering, it seemed, they were uncovering more soft spots and bruising that we were completely unaware of.

Obviously, we've been in hell since Friday. Rory is being treated for a concussion at the hospital but they're going to put her into state protective custody when she's well enough to be released even though we've been interviewed extensively since they found the bruises and have been cleared pretty much.

However, we don't know who could have done his. We only ever leave her with absolutely trusted adults (our parents and one of DP's best friends) for maybe an hour a week max, and I just don't want to believe that they could have done it either. My poor baby is hurt and scared and I don't know who hurt her, I'm just so...insane at the moment that I don't quite know what to say. I just don't know how this could have happened to _my_ baby, how I could have not noticed til now...I'm the worst mother alive, and I'm terrified that I'm going to lose her.









****PLEASE READ THE UPDATED POST, POST 23****


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## Thalia (Apr 9, 2003)

You are NOT the worst mother alive.







I'm so sorry you are having to go through this right now. I don't have any good advice, just wanted to send you some hugs and say a prayer for you.


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## binky78-78 (Dec 14, 2008)

i'm so sorry your baby is hurt it is possible that there is an underlying medical condition that could have caused these bruises but it is also possible it was someone you trusted remember you ARE NOT to blame i hope the medical team find the cause soon and if someone has hurt her i hope they pay


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## AbbieB (Mar 21, 2006)

The first thing I would do is lawyer up. You need someone to help you get your DD back ASAP and to help you navigate the world of CPS.

I would also be ready to NEVER leave DD alone with anyone else (including DP) until this was resolved.

I am so sorry you are going through this.


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## OkiMom (Nov 21, 2007)

I don't have any advice but Im sorry you are going through this. You aren't a bad mother.


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## black balloon (Dec 10, 2008)

DP is _not_ even a remote consideration. (for one thing, he was away for most of the time that the symptoms started showing up, but for another thing, he would never raise a hand to anyone, let alone his little girl. He won't so much as raise his voice when he gets angry. I just don't know if I coulddo that to him


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## MomOnDaEdge (Nov 10, 2007)

Then who was watching her if he was gone?


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## black balloon (Dec 10, 2008)

I was or as op says friends and family that we thought were trusted. That wasn't entirely clear and I'm sorry but there's another thread here someplace if you'll forgive my disjointedness, she's had for a couple of weeks (3 weeks? ish) a drastic change in her activity level and a very low grade fever and he'd been away but he was here when it happened, does that make more sense?


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## AbbieB (Mar 21, 2006)

I'm glad that you are confident in your partner. I can't imagine how much worse (and more complicated) this would be if you felt unsure of him.

I'm sorry if I upset you by implying he could be responsible. I was trying to gently offer advice without bluntly saying, "Do you trust DP?"

Hold each other close. You will get through this together.


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## MomOnDaEdge (Nov 10, 2007)

No, not at all.

WHO had access to the child?

Not it's any of my business since any pedi and/or hospital worth it's funding would never allow this child to leave the ER.


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## black balloon (Dec 10, 2008)

The emergency room knows and are looking into them and in my OP I stated that there were parents and a few trusted friends. Who, yes, are being investigated.

She's still in the hospital's care.


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## momz3 (May 1, 2006)

I am so sorry this happened to your dd and that you all are going through this. I have no advice







to you and hopefully you will get some answers soon. I agree with a pp, get a lawyer


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

What a nightmare







I hope you find out what or who caused the bruises very very soon and this whole nightmare ends for your daughter and family.







I agree that it could be some kind of physical issue. A neighbor's child was covered with what looked like bruises and it turned out to be a terrible allergic reaction to dairy. It looked enough like bruises that they were investigated by CPS before the cause was found. So it isn't necessarily physical abuse.


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## LavenderMae (Sep 20, 2002)

I am so sorry.







I'll keep you in my thoughts.


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## Ofwait (Feb 16, 2008)

My prayers are with you.

Get a family law lawyer.


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## hippymomma69 (Feb 28, 2007)

have they checked her for that "fragile bone" condition? I read somewhere that kids with that condition are often suspected of being victims of abuse but they were getting horrible bruises from regular bumps that wouldn't really hurt other kids....might be worth looking into...is there trauma on any part of her body besides her head?

good luck
peace,
robyn


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)




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## Mama Mko (Jul 26, 2007)

I can't even imagine what you're going through. Hang in there and know that there are mamas out here sending you good thoughts.


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## dawncayden (Jan 24, 2006)

Is your daughter able to tell you what happened?


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

i am thinking since you had your dd around trusted people and you cant imagine who would have done this - could there be a medical condition as pp mentioned that might look like abuse?

has the hospital ruled any of that out? have they even checked into it?

i dont know what medical conditions would be responsible. i am not sure where you would call or research this.










eta: with the level of bruising you described i cant imagine you picking up your dd after an hour and ur dd not saying or reacting to any abuse if it happened. not waiting sometime later. with that level of bruising i would at least associate some pain. i mean its the head. soft spots, bruising sounds v. painful to me. to me a medical condition just makes more sense. i am just thinking logically here. what tests have they done for concussion. are they just going by her symptoms? have they done an MRI? or looked at the brain.


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## 1littlebit (Jun 1, 2008)

get a lawyer. not as an aggressive thing but as a resource. you will need sound legal advice and a third party to be there to give some perspective. a good lawyer can be incredibly helpful in these situations.


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## earthgirl (Feb 6, 2006)

I am so sorry your family is going through this. I can't even imagine how difficult this must be. I also would suggest that you get a lawyer ASAP. I would also make sure the hospital has done EXTENSIVE testing on your DD. I know some med professionals are quick to assume abuse and stop at that. Be strong and know that you are *not* a bad mother.


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## NYCVeg (Jan 31, 2005)

I second (or third) the possibility of looking for an underlying medical condition. Dd, for example, has severe food allergies. The time she ate fish (she tested negative, so we were trialing it), she got an itchy rash on her chest that she scratched raw. The rash cleared up pretty quickly, but the skin looked pretty gruesome for a couple of days because of what she had done to it. Was she tested for anemia? Allergies? Anything else that might cause easy bruising? Is it possible that she was playing roughly and just got banged up?


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## black balloon (Dec 10, 2008)

The doctor saw Rory again this morning and decided to run some more tests because her symptoms were worsening, rather than improving even under the conditions presented in the hospital.

It's been a very long day, but after exhaustive testing, and Aurora has been diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia. Although this news has been very difficult to contend with--I'm still in shock--it's a strange relief to know that nobody hurt her. We'll be living at the hospital for god knows how long now and treatments will begin next week, but _nobody hurt my baby_.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

Oh my goodness! Best wishes to you and your family. Leukemia is very treatable these days. I will be thinking of your little girl.


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## skybluepink02 (Nov 9, 2005)

Oh, mama. I'm so sorry. I'm glad that they're not blaming you our your hubby anymore, but what a horrible reason. I'm sending up all the prayers and positive thoughts I've got for you and your little girl.


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## StarMom2 (Apr 29, 2008)

:









I am so sorry for the road you have ahead. My thoughts and prayers are with you.


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## MCR (Nov 20, 2001)

Oh my goodness your poor baby. I hope the treatments go well. (((hugs)))


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## mama2mygirl (Dec 14, 2005)

My thoughts and with you and your little girl.


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## Mama Mko (Jul 26, 2007)

I'm glad you got a definitive answer about what is going on. Best wishes for the healing process to start now.


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## Ornery (May 21, 2007)

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.


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## NJ*Doula (Apr 14, 2006)

Wow. I'm so sorry mama!







I'm so glad that no one has been hurting your little girl, but I'm sorry it turned out to be something so serious. You and your family will be in my prayers.


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## MamaJenese (Aug 14, 2006)

My thoughts and prayers are with your family..


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## Ofwait (Feb 16, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *black balloon* 
The doctor saw Rory again this morning and decided to run some more tests because her symptoms were worsening, rather than improving even under the conditions presented in the hospital.

It's been a very long day, but after exhaustive testing, and Aurora has been diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia. Although this news has been very difficult to contend with--I'm still in shock--it's a strange relief to know that nobody hurt her. We'll be living at the hospital for god knows how long now and treatments will begin next week, but _nobody hurt my baby_.


What a mixed result... I am glad no one hurt her, but as another Mama who has had to contend with their daughter having cancer my heart goes out to you.

Please check us out in the Special Needs section where we have a childhood cancer thread going.


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

Oh my, I'm so sorry about your daughter's diagnosis, but I know you must be so relieved that she hasn't been abused.







What a hard time for your family -- I'm sending you good wishes.


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## Tilia (Nov 18, 2006)

Wow, I am so sorry, and yet it is good to hear that no one hurt her.


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## pauletoy (Aug 26, 2007)

I am so sorry. Sending well wishes to your sweet girl.


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## Limabean1975 (Jan 4, 2008)

I am so so sorry. I send you the best of wishes.


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## Peppermint Leaf (Jan 11, 2008)

oh my heart goes out to you and your family ... we are praying for you


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## MOMYS (Nov 5, 2008)

I could not leave this thread without sending you a big (((HUGS)))!


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## suprgrl (Sep 27, 2005)

I'm sorry your sweet baby is so sick. I'm relieved to hear no one was hurting her.


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## Spirit Dancer (Dec 11, 2006)

How difficult. I pray for healing.







:


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)




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## east carolina (Apr 5, 2006)

Oh my, this is heartbreaking, mama. You are in my thoughts.


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## AbbieB (Mar 21, 2006)

I am so relieved to hear your DD has not been abused.

Oh momma! I am so sorry to hear that your DD is so sick. My heart is aching for you, your family and your little girl. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.


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## Theia (Oct 30, 2007)

I tried to post last night but my wireless connection dropped, and I think it was trying to tell me to go to bed. But I kept you in my prayers today.

I'm so glad to read your update. I mean, yes, the diagnosis is difficult I'm sure, but like you said, No one hurt your baby.








: healing for your daughter


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## Devaskyla (Oct 5, 2003)




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## butterfly_mommy (Oct 22, 2007)

Lots of healing vibes to your daughter. Your family is in my thoughts.


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## nalo (Oct 25, 2005)

I have tears running down my face for all of you - for the relief at knowing no one has hurt your baby and for the hard news of her diagnosis. Thought directs energy....your baby will be healed. She is strong, her parents are strong and the medicine will be strong. Peace and healing to all of you.


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## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

Oh no. . .I'm so glad to hear that she isn't being hurt by anyone, but man, what a hard trade off, you know? I'll be thinking of you.


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## kirei (Dec 2, 2004)

i am SO sorry........


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## guestmama9917 (Oct 26, 2008)

my thoughts are with you and your family.


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## bscal (Feb 13, 2006)

I'm relieved too that no one was hurting your baby. But what a scary diagnosis.

Thankful for your family that the doc caught this. I will be hoping and praying for your DD. Hugs to you Mama.

Beth


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## ~Boudicca~ (Sep 7, 2005)

Oh wow! Such bad, but at the same time, good news.

Sending your little one healing vibes







:


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## MaxMommy (Feb 16, 2007)

So good to hear that no one is hurting your baby, I bet you'll be holding her close for a long time.

My thoughts are with you and your family down this difficult road.

Hugs to you all.


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## BellaLuna Rayne (Jan 23, 2007)

*hugs*


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## Zan&Zav (Nov 25, 2006)

hugs and prayers


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## DariusMom (May 29, 2005)

oh gosh . ... I'm so sorry!









I'm very glad that no trusted friend or family member was hurting your DD. The fear and suspicion must have been awful for everyone involved.

I hope you can call on all those around you as you begin this long and scary journey. The drs. briefly thought my DS had leukemia when he was 2.5. Thankfully, he didn't, but the fear and uncertainty was horrible. I can only imagine based on what that experience was like for me, what you and your partner and all your loved ones must be feeling.

Please hang in there, turn to others for support, and know we're all thinking about you.







:


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## Maluhia (Jun 24, 2007)

sending you many hugs and healing wishes to your DD in her journey to cancer recovery.


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

oh mama i am so sorry that you had to go thru all this heart break and then deal with a serious diagnosis.

my hear breaks at what the doctors put you and your whole family through. my heart breaks that they had to wait till Rory's condition got worse before they did further tests. my hert breaks that they had to go the child abuse route.

my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as you start on this new journey. i am grateful you have some support to see you through this.


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## Deer Hunter (Sep 26, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *black balloon* 
The doctor saw Rory again this morning and decided to run some more tests because her symptoms were worsening, rather than improving even under the conditions presented in the hospital.

It's been a very long day, but after exhaustive testing, and Aurora has been diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia. Although this news has been very difficult to contend with--I'm still in shock--it's a strange relief to know that nobody hurt her. We'll be living at the hospital for god knows how long now and treatments will begin next week, but _nobody hurt my baby_.


I, too, am relieved to know nobody hurt your baby. But, is CPS now going to leave you alone? I ask because they can be real strange, and that is describing it nicely.

I and my parents were victims of CPS. I was on a special diet that was required to keep my eyes from calcifying over. As a result, I was more fragile than most kids. I was jumping around on the couch and fell causing my leg to somewhat fracture.

While at the hospital, I was tested an my calcium levels were low. They suspect my dad of abuse immediately, and instinctively, to run from the bad guys, he took me and fled. Needless to say, CPS was at our door early the next morning. We were forcebly driven to and admitted to children hospital the next morning, the very place responsible for messing me up in the first place, but CPS did not care. I was tested again, and the nutritionalist just recommended a cod liver oil supplement to be given to me two times a day.

Having an alterior motive and to be spiteful not even considering that my parents were young, it was their first child, and they were still learning, made my dad and I leave so he could persuade the nutritionalist to have me admitted behind my parents' back and to have me forcebly fed an Americanized diet. This was done. I was placed in the care of CPS and the hospital denying temporarily my parents' right to make any decisions for me. For three days, I did not eat because I knew better. By the fourth day, overcome by hunger, I gave in. The social worker asked, "MMMMMMM, isn't that good?" I was eating a cup of yogurt, something that would lead to my horrible demize. I felt confused.

After much fighting, a doctor who had operated on my eyes previously and knew my parents situation advocated for us, and I was able to go home with my parents. Needless to say, CPS paid us one more visit. The worker loved my mother and said that she'd not be coming back any more because it was evident my parents were great parents. Sadly though, I went blind two weeks later. I remember the doctor's visit, his black chair, his office. He said I'd go blind. I didn't fully understand, but my parents repeatedly explained to me what blindness was. I even remember them still explaining things at great length after going blind. I remember my mother telling me, "You are blind. You see with your hands now, not your eyes."

I'm older, and know that blind people see with more than their hands, but with all of the instincts and other senses. I go hunting, read books, care for children, and own my own business just to name a few things I've been able to accomplish. Yes, I do things slightly differently than others, but the important thing is that I'm still able to be normal.

CPS did ruin a lot for me, but it wasn't anything I couldn't overcome. I don't view my blindness as a handicap. I just view it as a physical nuissance, a minor obsticle that I must creatively overcome. I'm also a staunch advocate for the blind community, as I never cease educating others and fighting for our rights. I'm in the process of trying to become a civil rights lawyer for this reason, as well as to protect the justice and liberties of others, even those violated by CPS.

Please, please, I beg you not to allow CPS to ruin things for you as they did to me.

Two good resources that are wonderful in fighting CPS are:

www.fightcps.com (You'll find some postings from me on the site, as I heavily am a part of that community. Not to mention, there are many good books and resources for you to win against them.)

Also, Google the American Family Rights Association. They are an awesome resource that will ensure that CPS doesn't unnecessarily destroy family bonds or cause heartache, as they so often do.

I hope my long story and my advice has given you some advice. Stay safe, stay strong, and just know that I'm praying for you.


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## muttmom92 (Mar 20, 2005)

I wish your daughter quick healing. My thoughts are with your family.


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## cappuccinosmom (Dec 28, 2003)

Oh wow. What a bittersweet thing to find out. I'm so glad she's not been abused and that she's been diagnosed and can be treated. But I'm sorry for what you're going to be dealing with in the coming months.


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## LavenderMae (Sep 20, 2002)

Many many healthy and healing vibes to your precious daughter.


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## kokonutmama (Feb 12, 2006)

Big Hug.


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## talk de jour (Apr 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *black balloon* 
The doctor saw Rory again this morning and decided to run some more tests because her symptoms were worsening, rather than improving even under the conditions presented in the hospital.

It's been a very long day, but after exhaustive testing, and Aurora has been diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia. Although this news has been very difficult to contend with--I'm still in shock--it's a strange relief to know that nobody hurt her. We'll be living at the hospital for god knows how long now and treatments will begin next week, but _nobody hurt my baby_.

























My thoughts are with you, Rory, and DP.


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## Ackray (Feb 11, 2004)

Oh my goodness. I'll keep your family in my prayers.


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## AutumnAir (Jun 10, 2008)

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear of your DD's diagnosis, but hopefully now that it's been caught it can be cured quickly.







for you and







: healing vibes for your daughter.


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## earthgirl (Feb 6, 2006)

OMG, what an emotional roller coaster you have been on! I am keeping you all in my thoughts and praying for peaceful healing.


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## mama2peyton (Oct 9, 2008)

I'm so sorry







You and your family will be in my thoughts.


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## a(TM)?Star (Oct 13, 2005)

to you and your sweet little girl.


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## wendypf (Aug 23, 2008)

I'm glad to hear nobody is hurting your little girl. Very sad to hear she is sick. Unfortunately, I've had a lot of experience w/leukemia and its a nightmare. Luckily, the cure rate for ALL in children is VERY high. Though I couldn't imagine watching my LO go through the treatment.

You're in my thoughts and I wish DD good health. Make sure she gets treatment in a hospital that treats a lot of children with ALL, even if it means traveling a great distance every day.


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## hippymomma69 (Feb 28, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *black balloon* 
The doctor saw Rory again this morning and decided to run some more tests because her symptoms were worsening, rather than improving even under the conditions presented in the hospital.

It's been a very long day, but after exhaustive testing, and Aurora has been diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia. Although this news has been very difficult to contend with--I'm still in shock--it's a strange relief to know that nobody hurt her. We'll be living at the hospital for god knows how long now and treatments will begin next week, but _nobody hurt my baby_.

I'm so, so sorry this is happening to you - any of it. I hope your daughter makes a full recovery....
peace,
robyn


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## supervee (Nov 21, 2001)

Hugs, mama. You-all can do this.

Check out the ALL-Kids newsgroup. Superb support from other parents in the same situation as you. http://www.all-kids.org/


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## akaisha (Apr 14, 2008)

oh thank goodness no one has been hurting her, but *hugs* for you and your partner. sending good vibes your way.


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## kchara (Jan 21, 2008)

I'm SO glad no one has been hurting your precious baby, but I'm SO VERY sorry for your diagnosis. My thoughts and prayers are with you.


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## Double E (Oct 16, 2008)

thinking about you and your whole family.
sending positive and healthy thoughts your way.


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## Theoretica (Feb 2, 2008)

OMG mama I am so sorry you are going through this. Please let us know that CPS is leaving you alone during this terrible time. Sending you healing thoughts and loving energy, we are here for you.

Please remember to take care of yourself during this...

Blessings...


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## beckington (Mar 1, 2004)

My thoughts are with you and your family.


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## galincognito (Nov 23, 2007)

oh, mama!!












































how is everyone holding up??


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## menomena (Jun 14, 2007)

hugs mama.


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## northwoods1995 (Nov 17, 2003)

Just wanted to send more hugs and positive thoughts for your daughter and your family.


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## HarperRose (Feb 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *black balloon* 
_nobody hurt my baby_.

Thank God, mama. I'm so glad your precious baby hasn't been hurt by someone.

However, I am SO SORRY that you're going through this turmoil!







I hope she's ok in the end.


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