# do the GD queens ever EVER lose it?



## pamamidwife (May 7, 2003)

just curious. because if you don't, i'd like your kids, please.

thank you.








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## rmzbm (Jul 8, 2005)

No. I am perfect in every way. Thanks for asking!

OK...um, yeah. There are days you'd think an insane woman lived at my house...sometimes I scream so loud & so long I forget what I'm screaming ABOUT!







I lose it. Yeah. I strive to be flawless but fall painfully short. Then I brush myself off, tell myself I am still a GREAT (but nowhere near perfect) mom and move on!


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## pamamidwife (May 7, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rmzbm* 
No. I am perfect in every way. Thanks for asking!

OK...um, yeah. There are days you'd think an insane woman lived at my house...sometimes I scream so loud & so long I forget what I'm screaming ABOUT!







I lose it. Yeah. I strive to be flawless but fall painfully short. Then I brush myself off, tell myself I am still a GREAT (but nowhere near perfect mom) and move on!


thank you.

now if Georgia would tell me the same, I'd feel better.


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## rainyday (Apr 28, 2006)

I'm hardly one of the GD queens







, but I do tend to be pretty strongly in the GD camp.

Yes, I lose it. I try not to, but it definitely happens. I'm human, and while I'm a lot more patient with my son than I ever was before him, I still have a temper! There are probably some super-patient people who don't ever lose it, but they're certainly a minority!

I think it's important to always strive to not lose it, but if I do, I apologize and talk about it briefly with my son. Sometimes we'll brainstorm what I could have done differently. I figure that helps him see other options for when he's getting frustrated too. I think it's important to show him that he's a person worthy of respect, and one way of showing respect is to apologize when I've wronged someone.

One thing that helps me to lose it way less is to feel really connected. I find that when we're not feeling as connected, I'm much more likely to lose it. I also really try to understand where he's coming from and not say no unnecessarily (like I saw a woman telling her toddler not to run his hands along the side of a building - really, what's the problem with it? why make an issue of it?).


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## rmzbm (Jul 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pamamidwife* 
thank you.

now if Georgia would tell me the same, I'd feel better.









Oh Georgia..........??? Are YOU perfect?


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## pamamidwife (May 7, 2003)

yeah, i get that.

i'm wondering about valium, though.

ha!


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## pamamidwife (May 7, 2003)

damn that Georgia! she needs to come in and SuperNanny my butt!


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

also not a gd queen, but oh yeah, I lose it. It's much easier to be level-headed with someone elses' kids. My kid drives me loopy.

(especially since we're on a tantrum kick- it's been pushing 2 weeks where every-single-day we have a tantrum lasting at least an hour..... )

-Angela


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pamamidwife* 
yeah, i get that.

i'm wondering about valium, though.

ha!

For you or the kids?









-Angela


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## rmzbm (Jul 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pamamidwife* 
damn that Georgia! she needs to come in and SuperNanny my butt!

Goergia cannot come to this thread right now, she's busy perfectly parenting. Please leave a message.







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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pamamidwife* 
damn that Georgia! she needs to come in and SuperNanny my butt!


Okay- you asked for it- go sit on the naughty step!

-Angela


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## pamamidwife (May 7, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alegna* 
For you or the kids?









-Angela


oh, wow, valium for the 12 year old and 3 year old would make them so much more compliant to my demands.

bwahahahahaha!


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## pamamidwife (May 7, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alegna* 
Okay- you asked for it- go sit on the naughty step!

-Angela

see? i'm smart enough to realize it's ME that needs to change and not them! i dont' think i'm cut out for three kids!


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pamamidwife* 
oh, wow, valium for the 12 year old and 3 year old would make them so much more compliant to my demands.

bwahahahahaha!

indeed.... I wonder if it comes in a spray for those really bad temper tantrums... just spray them down and they smile and take a nap....

-Angela


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

I do not qualify as anywhere approaching a GD queen around here, but I rarely lose it, and when I do it is usually very brief.


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## rmzbm (Jul 8, 2005)

alegna doesn't know crap about SuperNanny - it's the naughty "point!"







: (Complete with paper arrow.) Someone needs to bone up on their crappy parenting quotes!








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## pamamidwife (May 7, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thismama* 
I do not qualify as anywhere approaching a GD queen around here, but I rarely lose it, and when I do it is usually very brief.


and you couldn't lie to me? just fib a bit? this doesn't make me feel any better!










still, I must provide the standard MDC disclaimer: I am in no way suggesting that I would ever give my kids Valium.

(however tempting the thought)....


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pamamidwife* 
and you couldn't lie to me? just fib a bit? this doesn't make me feel any better!


















Maybe you'd be a bit more patient if you were a little less "GD."


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## heartmama (Nov 27, 2001)

I'm not a yeller, but I certainly put out the "do not disturb" vibe, curl up in pajama's, fix something chocolate, keep the biggest half for myself, and watch back to back "Friends" dvd's until comatose....

I have to say though past the age of 4 this is almost never due to ds' behavior, but just me being stressed with life in general. The two parent-one child ratio spoils me, without a doubt. If we succeed in having another baby, I am sure I will be exhausted all over again. Hmmm. That would mean a baby and a teenager at the same time. Yeah, definitely exhausted. I'm going to go curl up with some chocolate and dvd's and rest up for the future now....


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## numericmama (Apr 27, 2005)

I don't know what a GD queen is. But I really believe GD and strive to practice it. I loose it from time to time and have to appoligize and find new stratigies. I seem to loose it less when I read Easy To Love Difficult To Discipline for 2 pages every day. Also, it seems to change with developmental stages (like age 3.5 was very difficult for me.)

Even the person I know who has a sensitive child, who I have always seen being very patient told me that she lost it with her daughter the other day. That made me feel a lot better. I have to work really hard to practice GD; for her it always seemed so natural and effortless.


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## wendizbaby (Jul 22, 2005)

...sometimes I dream of one day becoming a GD princess (insert smiley princess here).

I don't know what ya'll are whining about, this parenting thing is easy (says the naive parent to the 14mo old who can still be parented with distraction alone).







:

Wendi


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wendizbaby* 
(says the naive parent to the 14mo old who can still be parented with distraction alone).







:


laughup (I knew the evil laughing guy would come in handy one day...)

Just wait until next week when your sweet baby discovers the joys of the tantrum!

-Angela


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## wendizbaby (Jul 22, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alegna* 
laughup (I knew the evil laughing guy would come in handy one day...)

Just wait until next week when your sweet baby discovers the joys of the tantrum!

-Angela

That's a really creepy evil laughing guy....


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wendizbaby* 
That's a really creepy evil laughing guy....











And he's not half as evil as your sweet little darling an hour into a tantrum that you can't stop for anything.....









-Angela


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

My mom never screamed at us or anything, but she would give way to sarcasm and she did give *herself* timeouts.

Remember, if you're a SAHP, be sure to get a regular time away from the kids, either out by yourself, or have the other parent take the kids so you get the house. My mom says that for her it was the difference between calming saying "oh you made an interesting picture on the wall, let's get you some paper and you can copy your picture and then we'll clean the wall" and dropping kicking us through the wall.

Now, this must have worked since I had no idea we ever bothered her until I was grown up and hearing the stories from the other side.


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## Jennisee (Nov 15, 2004)

I very rarely yell, but I do get snippy sometimes. After I calm down, I always tell my DD that I'm sorry, mention something about it's ok to get mad sometimes but we should still be nice to people, and give her a hug. Just recently, she has started modeling me and apologizing after a tantrum and it is the sweetest thing ever. She says, "Mama, I'm sorry I got mad," I respond, "Awww, Baby, it's ok," we hug, and she goes about her day in a good mood. I do feel some guilt that she had to learn this from my losing my temper, but at the same time, it's good that she understands that you can get mad at someone without it affecting your love for them.


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## eightyferrettoes (May 22, 2005)

Sometimes I get to a point where either the kid is going to be put into his room with a door and a crib rail between him and me, or I am going to slap him silly.

So I go with the closed door.







That's probably as GD as I'm going to successfully get in this life. And that is ok with me.


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## CrazyCatLady (Aug 17, 2004)

My dd is 2.5 years old. I've never yelled or hit. But I have been sarcastic/rude towards dd though during a few bad days.


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## mommy2abigail (Aug 20, 2005)

:







: THANK YOU for this thread! I've NOT been the mama I want to be, and it's good to know my occasional freak outs are not uncommon. Seriously, a GD beginner like me will come on here, write about a problem, get all these wonderful responses, and proceed to wonder how on earth *I* couldn't have figured that out. And how come all these great mama's can be so calm and responsive and peachy with thier kids and I can't. Alas, I see it's the valium! J/K! I need to take a time out some days, that's a great idea. Now if dd would just let me take one.....


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## Magella (Apr 5, 2004)

I, too, have always wondered if the GD queens ever lose it.

I'm not a GD queen, though I try really hard, and I do lose it sometimes. Definitely am not always the mom I planned on being. I think I do okay though, overall.


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## sunnylady303 (Sep 17, 2004)

I'm not even a GD court jester and I lose it all the time. I am trying so hard but there is so much to incorporate and 1 and 3 is a hard age juxtaposition. (I think that 24 and 26 might be easier.)


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## loraxc (Aug 14, 2003)

I think I'm also barely a GD court jester







, but yes, I lose it. The saving grace for me right now is that we are almost always double-teaming DD (since we both work FT) and I can take a time-out for myself (or DH can GIVE me one--yes, this happens!)

I always, ALWAYS apologize afterwards if I lose it. If I feel like I suck, I remind myself that at least I know when I screw up and have the humbleness to come to my child and admit it.


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## Ellien C (Aug 19, 2004)

so - there is this charming lady in our church nursery. Experienced mom - 3 children, former chiropractor, nursing her 4 year old, quit her job in her 40s to stay home with the youngest when she became unexpectedly pregnant. Knowledgeable about organics, non-vaxing, etc, etc. Her kid shares well, never hits etc. Mine is the "daycare baby" going to the church nursery not sharing toys, yelling and wacking the other kids.

I've had a few meltdowns in Mary's arms. One day she is trying to tell me what I great mom I am and I'm like - what an illusion THIS is. If she only knew how horrible I could be! And then she tells me, "I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that if I only saw you alone with DD I'd think differently. But I've been there, too. I think the same thing. You should see me when I'm alone. And I'm here to tell you that there is nothing worse than the feeling you get when you've slapped your kid and you can see your own handmarks left on their little cheeks."

So - I have to tell you that if floored me that she had EVER slapped her kids. She'd lost it with her two older ones, but not the younger one. And she was a GD, NFL kinda gal right from the start. Her oldest is in her 20s.

So yeah - those GD queens lose it!


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## SleepyMamaBear (Jun 5, 2005)

oh Pamela, i know you havent seen it, cause i strive to be the *PERFECT* parent, especially around you,







but i have LOST it a time or two. yelling, screaming, me in tears, her just bug eyes staring at me like "my mother has ten heads!" and in the end its all met with a huge and sobbing by both of us and my blood pressure slowly returning to normal. its not a very lovely sight.
i have noticed tho that if i take the time to focus on JUST Addy and what she wants to do/be/see for at least 10 minutes every hour plus a few hours focused on her and making the connection, talking, eye contact, etc, her behaviors are WAY better, and my stress level is WAY down.










but i am FAR from being a GD queen, ever.
i try. to no avail.


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pamamidwife* 
just curious. because if you don't, i'd like your kids, please.

thank you.








:


Heck, I don't want her kids - I want her to take MY kids! I'm definitely a serf in GD-land some days (not even a court jester







) -- see my post "what do you do when EVERYONE is losing it.."

I know the good days outnumber the bad, and I figure I'm teaching my children the value of apologies!


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## georgia (Jan 12, 2003)

I wouldn't even feel worthy enough to be allowed in the gates of the GD Kingdom sometimes, let alone feel worthy enough to post to a GD Queen thread







:

IME, everyone gets angry. Anger can be our friend as it lets us know our needs are going unmet and things gotta change. IME, it's *my* job to do the changing/reframing/regrouping. As long as we're not aiming the anger AT the child/ren, I think it can be a really important thing to show that everyone has strong feelings. Sometimes people lose it....and this is how we might handle it better next time/how we can check-in/apologize/etc.....

I'm just here learning along with everyone. Every day is an opportunity to grow


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## mamaduck (Mar 6, 2002)

Snort. I loose it. I am told that I get _"shrill and mean_." And I'm quoting. I am much better than I used to be.... when I had my first and I was still learning how to be GD, and he was a _handful._


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## Magella (Apr 5, 2004)

mamaduck, thank you. You are one of _*the*_ gd queens in my book, and it's a relief to know that even you sometimes lose it.


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## my3peanuts (Nov 25, 2006)

I rarely lose it to the point where I'm screaming and yelling but I definitely lose it to the point of raising my voice daily.

I've got a near 4 year old, a 2.5 year old, and an 8 month old. They push my buttons frequently. I also have a dh that does the same thing.


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

I don't think I'm one of the "GD queens" but, boy do I lose it sometimes!

A couple of weeks ago, I was hanging out with some of the older ladies at shul while my kids were all playing with friends outside. They all seemed to think I was some kind of "perfect mother"- but I'm most definitely not! I guess I'm actually successful at not yelling at them when we're there! Of course, when I'm feeling *really* awful, I stay home!


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## beanma (Jan 6, 2002)

me! me!







no GD Queen or peasent or serf or anything, but oh yeah i loose it. DH gives me "the look", too, when he's present and that just pisses me off more like _HE_ doesn't ever loose it and yell. it's usually confined to yelling and slamming doors, etc, but i can be pretty loud







. if i'm well-rested, well-fed, and have had enough me time and am not PMS-ing or depressed i can be pretty patient and GD, but the chances of meeting all those conditions on any given day are slim...


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## mistymama (Oct 12, 2004)

I rarely, if ever "loose it". But then again, I'm not nearly as GD as many people on here .. I've been known to use time out, threaten or apply a totally unlogical consequense. So while I don't flip out and loose it, I do sometimes loose my GD!


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