# Three year old refusing to go to sleep



## lyttlewon (Mar 7, 2006)

I haven't ever enforced a bed time with DD. I have always just taken her to bed when she told me she was tired. This has always worked with her usually wanting to go to bed between 8:30-9:00. Well now I am at a point where she will want to go to bed at 10/11 pm then lay there in bed and play another hour and I am just too exhausted the next day. I am not getting enough sleep and it is making me sick. Is there a way I can work her into a set bedtime without much trauma? Last night she was laying in her bed, it is attached to ours, and she wouldn't settle down and sleep. She kept kicking me, rattling her leg on the bars of her bed, talking to me, bouncing up and down. I finally told her if she didn't lay down and sleep she had to go in the hall. She agreed to this and DH set her down in the hall. She ended up freaking out and crying about being in the hall (lights were on). She finally calmed down and laid down and went right to sleep. This was after an HOUR of me fighting with her to go to sleep. DH goes to bed before me because he wakes up at 3 am so I can't have him put her to bed and she ends up waking him up fighting me about going to sleep. Does anyone have any suggestions for me?


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## formerluddite (Nov 16, 2006)

things to consider:

is she napping too long in the daytime?
ready to give up naps?
napping late in the afternoon (eg 3-5pm)?
missing her sleepy "window" earlier in the evening and then too wound up to sleep because she's overtired? (the conk-out-after-crying makes me think of this; the crying breaks the tension from being overtired, then she can sleep)

suggestions:

consistency with sleep habits, naptime, bedtime routine/bedtime.
plenty of outside time and exercise.


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## newmommy (Sep 15, 2003)

I have always been in awe of Mamas who says their kids are in bed by 8-9pm and perhaps a bit envious. DS never gets to bed before 10:30 at the earliest. DS goes to bed late as well. Last night, he was up until 11:30pm. He does take a nap during the day. He is home with DH during the day.

I am damned if I do and damned if I don't. If he takes a nap (2-4pm), he is up late. Sometimes as late as 12:30am.

If he skips the nap, sure he may go to bed around 8:30pm, but he sleeps HORRIBLY and is up several times during the night waking up for various reasons.

After 10:30pm, if DS refuses to sleep, I make a pallet on the couch and let him watch PBS Sprout Good Night Show and *I* go lay down in the next room with my eyes open listening out for him. Just resting because I need it.

When he gets sleepy, he turns it off and comes and get in the bed with me and finally fall asleep.

My health is declining (my body is so tired it's not functioning) and this is working for me right now.

Oh, I am a full time WOHM so I have to be up at 6:00am.

Once he starts school, I think he will start going to bed by 8-9pm on his own accord.


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## lyttlewon (Mar 7, 2006)

is she napping too long in the daytime? She naps for two hours at daycare
ready to give up naps? She seems to still need the nap. On the weekends she will beg me to give her a nap.
napping late in the afternoon (eg 3-5pm)? She naps at daycare from 12:30-2:30
missing her sleepy "window" earlier in the evening and then too wound up to sleep because she's overtired? (the conk-out-after-crying makes me think of this; the crying breaks the tension from being overtired, then she can sleep)
This is possible. Part of our struggle is I get home from work at 4:30pm and she says she isn't done playing with me at bedtime.


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## lyttlewon (Mar 7, 2006)

If he skips the nap, sure he may go to bed around 8:30pm, but he sleeps HORRIBLY and is up several times during the night waking up for various reasons. Marah Jade is the same way. If she doesn't get a nap she is a BEAR

After 10:30pm, if DS refuses to sleep, I make a pallet on the couch and let him watch PBS Sprout Good Night Show and *I* go lay down in the next room with my eyes open listening out for him. Just resting because I need it.
That might help. Does he come and bug you much? or are you pretty successful at resting?

My health is declining (my body is so tired it's not functioning) and this is working for me right now. Me too. Being pregnant is really killing me right now. If I don't get enough sleep I am very sick during the day and having a hard time working.

Oh, I am a full time WOHM so I have to be up at 6:00am. That is the thing she gets up at 6:00 am as well and if she doesn't go to bed early she is very tired and upset in the morning. I just can't get her to realize that when it is bed time.


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## Glover_Girls (Mar 20, 2006)

I've always wondered how parents function when their kids have no bedtimes. I just could not imagine. I WOH full-time so there's no way I could just let my dd stay up until whenever. I get up early and need to have energy left at the end of the day to take care of my dd.

My advice is to start getting into a bedtime routine, for both your sakes! One reason she may be staying up is to spend the time with you.

I don't know how hard or easy it will be to implement a bedtime. I started a bedtime routine from day one so this is what she expects. But they tend to work if you are consistent so the child knows what to expect. I let my dd pick out a book or two after she washes up. If she doesn't dilly dally as much as usual or we're ahead of schedule, she can either pick out another book or I tell her we'll have "giggle time" after the lights are out. I'm not perfect and I strive for 8 but usually we're later. But the routine is the same and she's in bed without complaint. My dd also has to get up for preschool every day rather early and is there from 7:45-5pm so she's generally tired at the end of the day. Generally she looks forward to bedtime because of the reading and snuggling.

How stressful to struggle with kid for an hour to go to sleep. You poor mama!! Sounds like you have trauma already so trying to get our little one into a set routine/bedtime could only help!


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