# do you follow all the co-sleeping "rules"?



## chewynotcrunchy (Dec 19, 2010)

So I just started reading the No Cry Sleep Solution and am wondering if there are other co-sleeping families who don't follow all the safety guidelines for co-sleeping she outlines? For example: no blankets or pillows in bed, baby never between mom and dad, mattress on the floor or guard rails, don't co-sleep if you are obese, no pets, or others? Of course making sure there are no gaps between the bed and the wall baby could get stuck in is very important, but no blankets or pillows just isn't feasible at my house. I feel we are very safe co-sleepers, but we do "break the rules" quite often. Are there other rebellious co-sleeping families out there or am I totally out of line?


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## mommy2abigail (Aug 20, 2005)

We don't. I use a pillow and a blanket, I swaddle, and she sleeps on her tummy sometimes. Most of the time she is in the crook of my arm, but yea, sometimes she rolls onto her tummy. I feel I'm very aware of her-position, breathing, temp, so I don't worry. Oh, and if she is in the crook of my arm, I let her sleep in between dh and I. He will not roll over her without touching my arm first, at which point I'd wake up, so I feel it's safe.


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## mommariffic (Mar 18, 2009)

My babes are 8 months and 3 years and they prefer to sleep next to each other so arms flailing, kicks etc are to be expected. We sleep with pillows (all of us) and a big comforter (shared on all of us) and sometimes a cat/dog joins.

So, no


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

We have blankets and pillows and babe often goes next to daddy. Bed is lower than some, but on a frame and no guard rails. Both kids have been in bed since day one. No crib in the house.

-Angela


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## Yaliina (Oct 22, 2005)

NAK. We don't follow any of that. DS1 is 5 now, and bed-shares about 1/2 the night or so (starts in his own bed), and DS2 is 8 months and sleeps in my arms wherever I am and he wants to be. He tosses throughout the night, and we switch sides 2-8 times each nigh, so sometimes he's on the edge of the bed, sometimes between me and DH, and sometimes between me & DS. He's always in my arms, though. We use pillows (lots) and a sheet and big down comforter in the winter (a quilt in the summer). DH is obese, but I'm not. Now, we have a big king bed (which I wouldn't trade for ANYTHING), but it's up plenty high. We do not have any animals in the room, nor would I allow animals on my bed, especially with my kids, but that's me. My last animal that slept with us was a 90 lb. bulldog, so maybe my frame of reference is skewed, lol.

My opinion is that you should be safe- so don't take any drugs whatsoever, drink alcohol, or be ridiculously tired to sleep with baby in your bed. Otherwise, trust your mothering instincts and go with the flow. Don't stress. People have been sleeping with their babies in every country in the world since the beginning of time. I think we can do it without an instruction manual, lol!!


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## Yaliina (Oct 22, 2005)

NAK. We don't follow any of that. DS1 is 5 now, and bed-shares about 1/2 the night or so (starts in his own bed), and DS2 is 8 months and sleeps in my arms wherever I am and he wants to be. He tosses throughout the night, and we switch sides 2-8 times each nigh, so sometimes he's on the edge of the bed, sometimes between me and DH, and sometimes between me & DS. He's always in my arms, though. We use pillows (lots) and a sheet and big down comforter in the winter (a quilt in the summer). DH is obese, but I'm not. Now, we have a big king bed (which I wouldn't trade for ANYTHING), but it's up plenty high. We do not have any animals in the room, nor would I allow animals on my bed, especially with my kids, but that's me. My last animal that slept with us was a 90 lb. bulldog, so maybe my frame of reference is skewed, lol.

My opinion is that you should be safe- so don't take any drugs whatsoever, drink alcohol, or be ridiculously tired to sleep with baby in your bed. Otherwise, trust your mothering instincts and go with the flow. Don't stress. People have been sleeping with their babies in every country in the world since the beginning of time. I think we can do it without an instruction manual, lol!!


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## Ldavis24 (Feb 19, 2009)

I tried to follow "the rules" in the beginning. I slept under a tiny blanket constantly paranoid I was going to suffocate her.

What I found was that the couple of times a blanket did actually get on her face when she was sleeping in the crook

of my arm, I was so alert to it, I noticed before she even stirred. 
I find that a lot of mamas are super alert to their LOs even when sleeping. I have slept with a dog on the bed,

a cat next to DD sleeping, DD between DH and I...Multiple blankets on the bed and tons of pillows. Never had a problem.

I always make the sure the bed is set up safely each night and now that DD is older I don't even sweat it.

I even let her sleep on her stomach when she was little because I was right next to her and was very aware of her breathing and movement.


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## fruitfulmomma (Jun 8, 2002)

There were no "rules" when we started, other than the obvious issue of intoxication, so no I don't follow them. I am diligent to keep the blankets/pillows away from baby's face but I could not sleep without them. I also don't follow "Back-to-Sleep" either. With my newborns I sleep with them on my chest for the first few weeks and then snuggled in the crook of my arm and then gradually moving to spooning with them on their sides facing away from me unless they are nursing. When we do that I hold the blankets down with my arm over their side.


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## Graceie (Nov 7, 2010)

no we use blankets and he slept on his side form the get go


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## Kuba'sMama (Oct 8, 2004)

She starts off the night more or less following the rules, lol. But then.... we put the comforter up (it's cold!), the dog settles herself right up by the top of her head (tiny dog), her sister joins in the middle of the night, baby is wedged right up between mommy and daddy (daddy is the wall-crack guard and mommy is the edge of bed guard- both are important!). But- I always make sure her face is way clear of any blankets and pillows and that she is more or less in the middle of the bed. I don't sleep through the night either, wake up countless times to adjust her, or other members of the bed party (human or dog) in a half-asleep state. But I don't mind, so used to it.


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## JenRN (Sep 10, 2010)

A fellow "rule breaker" here.

Besides for not taking sleep-inducing medications or intoxication, I don't follow the co-sleeping rules. Our DD is 9 months old now, but has been co-sleeping since she outgrew her bassinet around 3-4 months. She sleeps on however she wants (frequently side or stomach). We sleep in a regular bed on a frame (though its not very high compared to most), no siderails, use pillows and blankets, and sometimes she ends up sleeping in the middle of DH and me. I've never once doubted her safety. In fact, I find I often wake up about 20-30 seconds before she starts fussing anyway.


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## Llyra (Jan 16, 2005)

I think we've broken all the rules, at one time or another, except the ones about intoxication and drug use, or smoking. We were careful about gaps, too. And we did keep the room cool. For awhile, I was using a med that made me drowsy at night, but it didn't make a difference because DD1 was my only babe at the time, and she greatly preferred to sleep by DH.

DD1 actually slept with DH from the get-go- in the crook of his arm. She would fuss and fuss, with me, until I handed her to him, and then she'd settle right in. With the twins, one twin went between me and DH, and one went between me and a sidecar. Oh, and DD1 wasn't exclusively breastfeeding-- a lot of the "rules" claim bottle babies shouldn't cosleep. I can't see why I should have deprived her of cosleeping, just because we couldn't breastfeed.

We always had blankets and pillows. I used my common sense about that, and I feel it was safe.

The twins slept on their sides, not on their backs. We mostly fell asleep breastfeeding, so we wound up curled up facing each other, like a big shrimp and a tiny shrimp. They also were swaddled. We coslept with pets, too. The cats mostly stayed down near our feet, so it didn't worry me at all.

Most guard rails aren't safe for small babies-- the gap between rail and bed is too big. I felt safer, with DD1, with putting her between me and DH, and using our bodies as rails. With the twins, I had the crib sidecarred, but nobody ever slept in it-- it was mostly to hold my drinks and books and extra diapers and wipes and stuff. But it served the purpose of a guard. We didn't put the mattress on the floor until they were crawling.


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## elus0814 (Sep 21, 2009)

We've coslept with four babies and have broken every single 'rule'. Blankets, pillows, baby between parents, other kids in bed (although not when one of them is under year or so old), high mattress, no guardrail, 'obese' parent, and medications to help me sleep. By bmi charts I'm considered to be two pounds into the obese range but I'm a size 14. You don't need to be a size 6 to be able to cosleep. I've coslept after taking mediation to help me sleep, it doesn't affect me the way is does other people and I still wake up easily and am aware of the baby when I take it. The only 'rule' we've never broken is the pets in bed one since we don't have any pets


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## Arduinna (May 30, 2002)

Didn't follow them. I'm sure I'm over their "acceptable" weight limit, I used a pillow and of course sheets and blankets, and in fact we co slept on an air mattress full time, because I couldn't afford anything else. It wasn't on the floor. My kid is over 21 now.


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## Jenivere (Aug 4, 2003)

When we had our first we broke what to me is a pretty big one by sleeping on a water bed for the first few months and I'm glad nothing happened. Other then that I guess it depends on your version of the rules. We used blankets and pillows but kept them away from the baby and the baby (we have 4 kids) often slept between dad and I. I never used any drugs/medication that could make me more tired and neither of us drinks or smokes at all. I don't know about weight limits but I'm likely over them because they probably aren't to realistic. We don't have any pets and when we did it never slept with us. We have never rolled over on any of our children and I sleep much lighter than I did pre-children, doesn't take much to wake me up.


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## rhiOrion (Feb 17, 2009)

We semi-break them.

For the first months of her life she slept on top of me, and I had a boppy in my lap to use as arm support for me, but it also worked to keep the blankets from getting up around where she was. I slept semi-reclined with a "husband pillow" behind my regular pillows.

Now we sleep in the more traditional side-lying style, and she flops herself all over the place. If we never slept with her between us I'd be even more lopsided than I already am, not to mention she'd be angry, and my back would be wrecked! But we have a kind size bed and DH never encroaches on our space. We have a crib side car to the bed, so I feel like the risk of her falling off the bed while we're in the bed is very slim. Our bed is TALL.

I do sleep with pillows, but they are mostly side-by-side (they do overlap in the middle, which is where I mostly keep my head).

The cat sleeps mostly at the foot of the bed, but if DH isn't in bed sometimes he'll steal his spot. I have absolutely fewer-than-zero worries about that!

I would never take medicines that would alter awareness, but I do have a beer with or after dinner most nights, but it doesn't affect me at all by that point, for sure.

I think the most important thing is being AWARE of the rules. That way if you're breaking them you know you're doing it in a way that you feel is safe.


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## newlyminted (Feb 21, 2011)

we break rules too... blankets for sure (it's cold in canada!) but finn (8mo) often kicks them off. I use a pillow but keep it away from his head. Cat sleeps on the bed but she's totally freaked out by the baby so I'm not worried about her. No drinking/drugs/meds though.

Honestly, I feel like the only reason there are "rules" for western cultures anyways is because we've lost the unconscious knowledge of how to sleep with babies. In places where co-sleeping is the norm, I doubt people are worried about rules. I also think that because it's something that's a little bit taboo here, doctors and advocates are extra careful about "idoiot-proofing" the process. I don't mean that people that follow all the rules religiously are idiots by any means but I think that it makes sense to try and ingrain what should be unconscious in people who don't have a cultural base point to work from.


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## Greenlea (Apr 21, 2010)

I don't follow the rules, but I also feel like I don't really sleep either  My almost 4mth old starts off the night in his cradle, but comes in the bed for his first feeding and stays till morning.

We use pillows/sheets/blankets, but I keep them low on me near my waist because our comforter is a pretty heavy quilt. I'll cover my DS in the flannel sheet but he sweats so much anyways just the sheet is fine for him. Our cat will sleep on the bed but not near DS.

Neither me nor my DH are obese, and babe does sleep between us - mainly cuz our bed is really high off the ground. At least once during the night I need to feed DS on the other side so he is sleeping on the "edge" of the bed but I put a pillow behind him so he doesn't roll off and I usually hold him. I don't let my DH hold him or sleep with him without me though because he is a very heavy sleeper. He won't even wake up if the baby is crying so I don't trust him to do it.


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## Graceie (Nov 7, 2010)

I think by obese she means morbidly obese to the point where mobility is impaired or at least I hope thatsnwhat she means it would make more sense


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## chel (Jul 24, 2004)

i think the no pillow/blanket rule was not made by a co-sleeper. no one would naturally sleep like that.


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## marinak1977 (Feb 24, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Ldavis24*
> 
> I tried to follow "the rules" in the beginning. I slept under a tiny blanket constantly paranoid I was going to suffocate her.
> 
> ...


This is also true for me. I woke up instantly both times the blanket went over DS's head and once I woke up in time to catch him before he rolled off the bed (we since have moved the mattress to the floor). Our dogs sleep at the foot of the bed and sometimes they snuggled close to the LO, but we also mostly did little shrimp/big shrimp position and he was safely snuggled next to me. I let him sleep on his side, but in skin to skin contact with me because I feel that it helped regulate his breathing and was a better protection from SIDS. I used a receiving blanket over my upper body and DS when he was little but after 6 months or so we just started sharing the comforter. He frequently slept between DH and I. (We switch sides all the time when he nurses)
I never take medications that affect sleep (I rarely take medications period) and we don't go to bed drunk (I've had a glass of wine though and do just fine with that)
So yes, we break most of the rules and we feel safe doing so. I trust my body and my instincts and it's been working well for us.


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## chewynotcrunchy (Dec 19, 2010)

Its reassuring to know I'm not the only blanket using, cat cuddling, occassional wine drinker, obese mom who sleeps with her baby between her parents in a bed on a frame with no guard rails! Wow, that was a mouthful!


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## rachieface (Mar 26, 2010)

I guess I didn't even realize that one of the "rules" was no sleeping between parents. My son sleeps between us (the second half of the night when he moves to our bed) so that he doesn't have a chance to fall off the bed. My husband, though, is a pretty light sleeper so he's aware of where the baby's at.

No way I could handle no blankets/no pillows. Ugh. Now that J is almost 10 months old, I have very few co-sleeping worries. I was way more paranoid when he was itty bitty.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

No. And especially not now that she's over 2.

We actually found that a big poofy comforter stayed off her face better because it would tent over us and stay above her.

Now, because she slept right by my breasts the whole time, pillows weren't anywhere near her. I have no idea how anyone who does night nursing could have their baby anywhere near their pillows. Long stretchy breasts? I have those and couldn't get dd up to the pillows.

The one safety thing I did do is if dh was in a twitchy sleep mode like he gets sometimes, I put dd on the outside. And when she was crawling a lot we put the mattress on the floor mostly so she'd be able to climb up herself sooner. And our bed was in the middle of the room not on a wall so no bed/wall gap to contend with.


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## Princessjules (Jan 11, 2011)

I have little brothers (ages 5, 3 and 1) and I have coslept with them enough to know that I am pretty aware even when I'm asleep. DH and I are expecting our first in Sept and I feel pretty comfortable with cosleeping as long as we don't break the major rules (i.e. going to bed intoxicated, using drugs or medications that would impair judgment etc.). I don't know if I will put the baby in the middle *at first* because I don't know how DH will sleep with a baby. I'm sure it will be fine after he gets used to it but at first i just plan on using pillows or cuddling baby to keep him/her from rolling over. I love cuddling and DH doesn't like to while going to sleep so I hope this baby likes it. lol

Also, my parents coslept with all 6 of us and as far as I know they used pillows and blankets and we never really had any pets and obeseity was never an issue. I think it is just up to what feels right and safe for you. Most of it is (or should be) common sense.


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## Adaline'sMama (Apr 16, 2010)

No, not since about the time she turned 4 months old. Once she could roll over, push her head and chest up with her arms, and I got over the initial "omg, I might roll over on her" phase. We have a bedrail on my side, and sometimes she sleeps between us. We use pillows and a big comforter, we have our bed up off the floor,and our kitty sometimes jumps up on the bed (I usually kick him off because he weighs 20 lbs and is loud). We never take any sleep inducing drugs, but we do occasionally drink a couple of beers . She has a mattress on the floor next to our bed, which is where she starts out the night. She (knocks on wood) stays there until about 3 am, when she joins us in the big bed.


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## faeriecurls (Jul 30, 2008)

The only rule I stick to is no intoxication. I have a whole bunch of pillows, but since DD spends most of the night with a boob in her mouth, they aren't near her. We have a big down comforter, it covers just her feet/legs sometimes - it's more dangerous to her when she wakes up and tries to play peek a boo with it and it gets stuck because she hasn't worked out how to move something so big away from her face yet. We also switch sides all night so she is between me & the cosleeper part of the time, and me and DH the other part. We have a pretty high bed on a frame with no guard rails, but since the cosleeper is there, she wouldn't go far. I didn't feel super comfortable early on though but I think it was more FTM nerves & severe lack of sleep.


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## littlemizflava (Oct 8, 2006)

this was the set up for both of mine with the addition of a 4 year old when my youngest was born. baby slept by the wall or inbetween. the bed next to the wall was a halfdead :lol not new stuff bear (this prevented anyone from hitting their head on the wall), 3 pillows in the bed (2 downfilled & 1 memory foam), sheet and a downfilled blanket year round.


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## ar2974 (Nov 19, 2006)

My now 4 year old feel out of the bed multiple times - I wish I'd had bed rails then. She used to mostly sleep between us so I guess I broke most of the rules. Cat on bed, comforter, pillows, no rail. I have a 4 month old now and he usually sleeps between me and the co-sleeper. I use my comforter and do pull it up over him. He sleeps on his back and side. The cat still sleep on the bed. Baby is between dh and I sometimes when I want to sleep on the other side and nurse but it's not often. His sister gets into bed with us sometimes and though she usually gets between dh and I she sometimes gets in beside her brother.


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## Ldavis24 (Feb 19, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *ar2974*
> 
> *My now 4 year old feel out of the bed multiple times - I wish I'd had bed rails then.* She used to mostly sleep between us so I guess I broke most of the rules. Cat on bed, comforter, pillows, no rail. I have a 4 month old now and he usually sleeps between me and the co-sleeper. I use my comforter and do pull it up over him. He sleeps on his back and side. The cat still sleep on the bed. Baby is between dh and I sometimes when I want to sleep on the other side and nurse but it's not often. His sister gets into bed with us sometimes and though she usually gets between dh and I she sometimes gets in beside her brother.


Our DD fell off the bed 5 times I believe. All but 1 of the times DH and I were literally in the room with her and standing right next to her, we just happened to be looking somewhere else and off she rolled! I thought we might need bed rails but she very quickly learned to just call out when she woke up from naps instead of roll around the bed! I do remember the first time she fell off the bed I cried just as hard as she did.


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## cristeen (Jan 20, 2007)

Obese - yup
Pillows - yup
Bottle fed - yup
Blankets - yup

We moved the matress to the floor when he started crawling.
Daddy sleeps next to him on Mommy's night off, DH and I haven't shared a bed since before he was born.

Other than drugs, i think we've briken every rule.


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## Ellien C (Aug 19, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Yaliina*
> 
> NAK. We don't follow any of that. DS1 is 5 now, and bed-shares about 1/2 the night or so (starts in his own bed), and DS2 is 8 months and sleeps in my arms wherever I am and he wants to be. He tosses throughout the night, and we switch sides 2-8 times each nigh, so sometimes he's on the edge of the bed, sometimes between me and DH, and sometimes between me & DS. He's always in my arms, though. We use pillows (lots) and a sheet and big down comforter in the winter (a quilt in the summer). DH is obese, but I'm not. Now, we have a big king bed (which I wouldn't trade for ANYTHING), but it's up plenty high. We do not have any animals in the room, nor would I allow animals on my bed, especially with my kids, but that's me. My last animal that slept with us was a 90 lb. bulldog, so maybe my frame of reference is skewed, lol.
> 
> My opinion is that you should be safe- so don't take any drugs whatsoever, drink alcohol, or be ridiculously tired to sleep with baby in your bed. Otherwise, trust your mothering instincts and go with the flow. Don't stress. People have been sleeping with their babies in every country in the world since the beginning of time. I think we can do it without an instruction manual, lol!!


This is us except it's an 8 yo in the bed and the cats frequently join us. I have a co-sleeper - the cats love it - but the 1 year old climbs back into the bed whenever he notices he's in it.


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## Summersquash (Jul 23, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *chel*
> 
> i think the no pillow/blanket rule was not made by a co-sleeper. no one would naturally sleep like that.


Except my DD! She will not use a blanket. We finally convinced her to try a pillow a couple of months ago for the first time but inevitably pushes it away so she can sleep with her head on the mattress.

I sleep with a sheet up to my waist and she puts her legs on top of the sheet on her side so it doesn't bother her.


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## allisonrose (Oct 22, 2004)

Yup, I've violated those rules. I would have a very hard time sleeping with a pillow or blanket. With our first, baby did end up being myself and my hubby. Occasionally I'd wake up early and hop in for a shower leaving my son snoozing in bed with hubby. With two, I've napped with them both although I think just once or twice were they next to one another (my toddler is not the gentle type). I think our cat might have slept near the foot of the bed a couple of times when our first was a baby.


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## ~Demeter~ (Jul 22, 2006)

When I first started having babies there were no 'rules' to co-sleeping, other than no one admitted to doing it lol. I always used a pillow and a blanket, we've had sibs in the bed, baby slept between dh and I, baby slept next to the wall, no guardrails, etc. Currently I have 2 mattresses on the floor, hubby sleeps on the smaller one and I sleep with our 2 girls on the queen mattress. My 3 year old occasionally kicks and flails so I've become pretty tuned into her movements and act accordingly. Sometimes my 9 year old comes to bed with us (so that's 3 babies in my bed, lol, plus dh and myself). I think being smart about it is key... I can't sleep without a blanket so I'm pretty aware of it (and her) when it's pulled up on me. Babe sleeps by my breasts and on her tummy... as did her 4 sibs before her.


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## DBZ (Aug 9, 2005)

I guess I break all the rules. Oh well.

I think someone should not co-sleep if they have been drinking or doing drugs. I also think it might not be a good idea if you sleep very heavily. Common sense goes a long way. I think the people who wrote that book were writing that from a lawsuit perspective.


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## Knitting Mama (Jan 24, 2010)

Nope, we don't follow them. Cecilia has slept in my arms, swaddled, since birth. She is between my husband and I most of the night, although sometimes I flip over with her still in my arms and hold her with her on the outer side. She has also slept with her head and shoulders on my pillow since 6 or so weeks old, when I noticed that she was having lots of silent reflux episodes. The pillow helped keep her upper body elevated, and these days she's just used to it, so I don't see any reason to change it. She also sleeps on her stomach (still swaddled!) a lot. The blanket is not usually over her, as she has her swaddle blanket, and I get too hot at night with her in my arms to need a blanket.

I understand why the rules are there, and I think they are great guidelines for people who want to co-sleep but are unsure they can handle it or that it is safe. But for us, what we're doing works well.


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## Swan3 (Aug 5, 2008)

I think a lot of those rules are a good guideline but I think that you need to look at what you're trying to avoid by following these rules, and the age of the child.

When our babes were newborns, we made sure that we wrapped blankets around ourselves and that she was warmly dressed and didn't need a blanket. She slept in between us to prevent falling. As both of our girls got older, our rules relaxed. Now we sleep four to a bed sometimes, Mom, Dad, 18 month old and four year old. Sometimes the cat joins us too! I'm obese (I HATE that word)...but I'm also the girl's mama and can sense when they're waking and where they are. We have no guardrails, as my daughter loves to try and climb over them...

What works for us won't work for everyone...I think it's good to have rules but the best thing is to use common sense when doing anything in parenting!


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## Jen286 (Feb 27, 2011)

Nope, don't follow those. Our rules are baby doesn't go under the covers, minimal fluffy stuff on the bed (but we both still have a pillow and sleep under a blanket or quilt), baby between us so she doesn't roll off, both stay in the habit of waking a little when she does so we both stay alert to her, watch for and fix immediately any gaps baby could fall into, and don't bedshare when intoxicated. Our little one is about to turn two and, at this point, most of these rules have drifted off in favor of letting her sleep how she's comfortable. No gaps and intoxication are pretty much all we still hold tight to.


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## emeraldhips (Nov 22, 2010)

When DD was a newborn, we used a "Snuggle Nest" in bed between us. It's basically a firm-sided travel bed. She grew out of it in about 2 months. Then I created a little palette for her on top of the comforter. Found an old bulletin board, and folded up a large quilt and put on top of it. That way, she was slightly elevated, and couldn't be "rolled on." But of course with night nursing, she often ended up right next to me. We have a king bed, and DH has plenty of room, so I'm not worried about it now. She's about 6 mos now, and just sleeps in between us. We have pillow and blankets, of course. We don't have central heat, so it gets pretty cold in the winter. Our bed is on the floor, but always has been b/c we just haven't gotten around to buying a bed frame. But we definitely do not co-sleep after drinking heavily or altering medications. No animals are in the house, so that's not an issue. There were a couple times when DH would get up and just toss the covers over her, but I'm such a light sleeper, I would fix it immediately. Also, she's been sleeping on her stomach since about 3 weeks. She just started refusing to sleep on her back and would cry and fuss. We flipped her over, it was like magic. But again, I would always sleep so close to her, I could feel her breathing.

So, yes indeed we are a rule breaker.


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## zenmumajen (Dec 3, 2010)

I have not read the book. Let me know what you learned from it! I'm interested...

Anyway I do not follow any of the rules that you posted. I used to sleep with 2 pillows but now I only sleep with one. Though we do have a body pillow laying against the wall between our side car crib and our bed...even though he still does not sleep in his crib...still only used for playing or decoration..oh well.

I suppose when he is older and crawling and trying to walk that we will have to move the mattress to the floor and/or get rails. When he was really small we DID follow the rule about having him sleep with a separate blanket. Now I just wear a zip up sweatshirt to bed as I don't pull the blanket up above my waist. Leo sleeps between us every night but not all night because of me switching sides. When he was younger we put a firm rolled up blanket it between us..but still do that sometimes. I always have my arm around him no matter where he is at in the bed so if DF rolls and immediately use my hand to push him away.


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## heathernj (Jan 21, 2011)

Personally, I think those rules were developed by people who have never regularly shared their beds with their kids, and have no idea what it's really like! Either that, or they were made up specifically to make bedsharing seem like too much of a pain to do!

We have blankets on the bed, and pillows, and had a newborn and a toddler sharing our bed at the same time--and a dog.

Never had a problem.


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## MinneapolisMama (Feb 21, 2011)

We have pillows and blankets and our son prefers to sleep between us (one hand on his mama, one hand on his daddy). Oh, and our family bed includes the dog, lol.


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## samann1121 (Mar 10, 2010)

We follow most of them, but not the no pillows/blankets part. But my head is on the pillow and her head is next to my boob, so it doesn't really matter. I did try to keep the blankets a little lower by wearing more clothing on my top half, but now she's old enough that she'll move them herself if they're in her way. And half the time she's between me and the edge of the bed, and half the time she's between me and DH.

We had a bed rail, but it was mostly so I could judge where the edge of the bed was in my sleep. It kind of had a gap itself. I wouldn't have let her sleep by herself in the bed with the bed rail up. Once she got old enough to climb in and out of bed if the bed wasn't on the frame (just mattress and box spring on the floor), we got rid of the bed rail and put the bed on the floor.


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## tzs (Aug 4, 2009)

i personally wouldn't trust dh to sleep next to a baby. he sleeps very soundly and doesn't even wake if she cries at night. i think this is fairly common since you always see these threads about husbands thinking the kid is sttn when it's never happened.

where we live there have been rashes of co-sleeping deaths and a big public campaign and although i know alot of it is related to really "unsafe" co-sleeping, the one thing i've learned is that we can't just chalk it up to "well they've been drinking and i don't do that."

because apparently the one common denomonator in all the deaths in this particular city was not drinking or drugs at all but formula feeding. the thinking is that as a breastfeeding mother is more in tune with the baby's presence because of that extra biological connection. now, i would even stretch it to say that ALL mothers have more of that biological connection and awareness, even if formula feeding, than a father would. to be honest, whenever i see friends post those tender loving pics of a dad asleep on the couch with a baby it freaks me out 100% (plus add in the couch unsafety factor...yikes!) so no, never between me and dh. i honestly think that's a bigger safety issue than blankets or pillows.


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## Lolipopins (Mar 1, 2011)

We do not follow the rules and it works great for us. I swore I would never co-sleep with my infant.....first night I fell asleep nursing him and we have been dedicated co-sleepers ever since. We use pillows, blankets and babe is between Mom and Dad. I even put a heavy, but small Buckwheat Hull pillow between baby and Dad, with Baby cradled in my arm. Dad would bump the pillow and be wide awake. I have a 4 1/2 year old and a 21 mo. old. We co-slept with both but never with both at the same time. We feel its a beautiful way to bond and get great sleep. Yesterday I walked in to check on my napping kids...my oldest had climbed into his sister's bed and they were curled together sound asleep. I was so happy to see this and know how close of a bond they have. One note- i did read something about co-sleeping should be done constantly not sporadically. The the parent who occasionally co-sleeps does not have the same level of awareness of the child during sleep, making it a less safe sleeping arrangement.


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## Pumpkin_Pie (Oct 10, 2006)

Nope. I started out only having one very small pillow on the bed under my head, and also only pulling the blankets up to my waist and then using a baby blanket thrown over my shoulder, but that quickly became way too much of a circus act in the middle of the night. I did wake one night to the blankets over DS's head, and totally freaked out. Later the following day though, I realized that I had *woken up* when he was covered, which is exactly what I was supposed to do and I felt much better about it.

I did use a bed rail for a long time, mostly because my bed was super high. Once he started crawling, I put the mattress on the floor. He has never slept between two people, but only because I am single and have been since I was pregnant.


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## Sustainer (Sep 26, 2002)

My kids are older now but I used to bedshare.

*no blankets or pillows in bed*

Broke that one.

*baby never between mom and dad*

Broke that one.

*mattress on the floor or guard rails*

Broke that one.

*don't co-sleep if you are obese*

Broke that one.

*I feel we are very safe co-sleepers*

I feel that we were too.









*or others?*

I also never put my babies on their backs. They always slept on their bellies. Hope you feel better!


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## CaraShrum (Mar 2, 2011)

Absolutely DO NOT follow ALL the rules! I follow the "Mom Knows Best" Rule and do what works and what is best for our family. I say follow your intuition and do what feels good. If you don't feel safe, then you probably aren't and vice versa.


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## seashells (Jan 23, 2009)

Blankets and pillows? I had them and used them. I did scootch DD up a little higher on the bed so that the blanket could go up to my chin but only up to her waist.

Baby never between mom and dad? She was between half the time. I'd flip which side she was on each time she woke to nurse. DH stayed on his side of the bed and we had a queen.

Mattress on floor? No, we didn't do that.

Guard rails? Yes, we had a snug tuck.

We're not obese. We don't drink or take medications or anything either.

Pets? We got 'em. Two cats. One cat does NOT sleep with us, ever ever ever. She's strictly an under-the-bed cat. The other likes to sleep with us, but he stayed away from the bed for a year. Very considerate of him (seriously).

I think these are things that you should think about - I don't at all think it's ridiculous to consider the baby's positioning, blankets, etc. But I'm a very conscious sleeper, so I did not worry about the blankets. Nobody MOVES in bed that I'm not aware of. DD did not roll over on her own for a loooong time, so she was always exactly in the same position I left her. Some kids roll all around and would go flying right off the bed if there wasn't a rail. We had one but we didn't need it. DD simply did not roll.

Our neighbors coslept with 2 kids in a double bed, no rails. The girl (older child) never, ever, ever fell out of bed. She took the outside position. Then mom, then baby brother, then dad against the wall. Some kids don't fall out of bed.

Some dads will roll over on anything. It's absolutely a concern. But not for everyone. Mine sleeps on his back and doesn't roll. Admittedly he's very unconscious. He's not aware of much when he's asleep. But he just doesn't roll. And given the fact that I was pretty much conscious all night (yeah, I'm a lousy sleeper) I didn't have a problem at all putting DD between DH and me. DH doesn't roll. If he did, I'd know it.

Considerations, but not law.


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## WifeofAnt (May 2, 2010)

*Blankets?* Yes. Its a light blanket that 'tents' over his head if he pulls it up (and I swear he does) so its never actually on his face. I pull it back down anyway.

*Pillows?* Couldn't sleep without one. The bottom of his pillow and the top of his head meet but don't overlap.

*Between parents?* We did that. He even slept with DH before he deployed. After deployment it probably won't be something I'm comfortable with for a while.

*Floor/bedrail?* We'll start that when he rolls from his back for the first time or when I feel its time. Right now I don't feel its necessary.

*Pets?* One cat. I couldn't stop him if I wanted to!! I just have to keep pushing him away from DS's head.

I swaddled once and he accidentally rolled onto his belly. He HATES laying on his belly. Side or back only. Now if he has to be swaddled I unwrap his top half before we go to bed.

I'm not obese and I also don't drink or take any medications.


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## Jen286 (Feb 27, 2011)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *tzs*
> 
> i personally wouldn't trust dh to sleep next to a baby. he sleeps very soundly and doesn't even wake if she cries at night. i think this is fairly common since you always see these threads about husbands thinking the kid is sttn when it's never happened.
> 
> ...


I guess I forgot that in my rules. We don't bedshare anywhere except the bed. That is one thing I've just never gotten comfortable with. The pics of the dad asleep on the couch with baby always freak me a little too, especially since the only "incident" we've had with my daughter was when I was sleep deprived, passed out on the couch with her (not intentionally!), and woke up to find I had rolled over or she had rolled off and she was stuck between the cushions. Left me very paranoid.

I'm also not sure if I'd be comfortable bedsharing with a bottle fed baby. For one, it takes away one of the big benefits for me (the practically no waking up at night to feed when baby is already at the breast). I guess I'd have to be in that situation to know for sure though.


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## contactmaya (Feb 21, 2006)

...without having read the thread....

When my babies (now 2 and 5) were newborns, i used the snugglenest. That put my mind at rest.

As the baby/ies got bigger, i did what i thought was safe, but i doubt i followed all of the rules listed above. I kept the baby's area clear, and without possibility of falling, no gaps etc etc. I dont know, my obsession with my baby's safety was enough of a guide to go by. I never used a crib, because i would panic with my child so far and out of reach....it was important that i could 'see' my baby to make sure he was safe.


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## contactmaya (Feb 21, 2006)

Can i copy you WifeofAnt?

*Blankets?* Not on the baby

*Pillows?* Not for the baby, but definitely for me. How are you supposed to nurse without a pillow? That would hurt my neck.

*Between parents?* Never between me and older child. Always near me by the wall

*Floor/bedrail?* once the baby was older, discontinued after a certain age

*Pets?* Dont have one. Im glad i didnt have to worry about that. But cant a cat jump into a crib?

I still think cribs are dangerous.


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## cristeen (Jan 20, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Jen286*
> 
> I'm also not sure if I'd be comfortable bedsharing with a bottle fed baby. For one, it takes away one of the big benefits for me (the practically no waking up at night to feed when baby is already at the breast). I guess I'd have to be in that situation to know for sure though.


If you're inclined to cosleep, trust me, you wouldnt care about breast vs bottle. I've been waking at least 2-3 x a night to feed for almost 18 mos now. It was actually worse on the breast because i had to sit up, position the pillow and be fully conscious to get the SNS in place. Now i just have to wake up enough to grab the bottle and pop it in his mouth. There are mornings i wake up and dont remember doing it, but the empty bottles say i did. If i had to get up and go to him 3 rooms away in our unheated house several times a night... Lets just say it wouldnt be pretty. This way i get the maximum sleep possible, which still leaves me grossly sleep deprived, but whatcha gonna do...


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## Llyra (Jan 16, 2005)

I don't know. As mama to a bottlefed baby who slept with her father for her first 15 months, I have to say I think it's unfair to make sweeping generalizations about either situation. I do think that when a father makes a serious decision to be the primary nighttime parent, it changes his awareness. A lot of that nighttime awareness that fathers lack is because they have not assumed the responsibility-- mom is there as a backup, so father doesn't HAVE to be so aware. We know that because fathers, adoptive parents, and foster parents experience entrainment of sleep cycles with their infants, just like mothers do, when they assume primary responsibility for an infant they are sleeping with. I'm struggling to find an online reference for that, though. It was years ago that I read the study, when DD1 was a baby, and I can't find it now. I know that my DH was incredibly tuned in to and aware of all our cosleeping children, and I can see even now, years later, that the experience built a powerful bond between him and the kids. I agree that if a man is NOT tuned in and aware, he should not be cosleeping with young babies. I just disagree that this is true for all fathers.

As far as the bottle thing-- frankly, it was bad enough that DD1 wasn't fully breastfed, and that she missed out on all of the benefits that exclusive breastfeeding would have provided. To have taken away the bonding of cosleeping too seemed wrong, to me-- she needed MORE bonding, not less, to make up for what she was missing.

Another common denominator in cosleeping deaths is accidental, occasional cosleeping. That is, families who don't normally cosleep, who one night for whatever reason cosleep.

Babies die in cribs, too, though.

I will admit that the couch-cosleeping thing does also freak me out. DH used to crash out on our futon with the kids sometimes, but only while I was nearby and awake-- daytime naps only. Most sofas have so many gaps and holes and places where a baby can get trapped.


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## Neela0207 (Mar 13, 2011)

I'm so happy to hear I'm not the only rebel! My first is just 5 weeks, and after the initial nervousness and lack of the sleep the first few nights, I feel very comfortable with our sleeping arrangements. DD and I sleep with a pillow long ways on each side. It's great support for side lying nursing and 1. keeps me from rolling too far away from her, 2. keeps my heavy sleeper honey from rolling over on us and 3. keeps her from rolling off the bed. I lay her on her back after we're nursing (if I don't fall asleep right away), but even though we have a firm mattress, she somehow rolls back onto her side facing me anyway!

When she is older and rolling around and crawling,I think I may be more comfortable with the mattress on the floor. But I do wake up at her every little movement too. Every child relationship is different and it's important to trust your instincts and go with your gut and what makes YOU comfortable, whether it's pillows or no pillows, guard rails or cosleepers. Ultimately, I believe my comfort level with the sleeping arrangements makes for the safest sleep, whatever that may be!


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## lkvosu (Feb 9, 2011)

We definitely break the "rules". We sleep with pillows and blankets. No guard rail but we have a never-been-used co-sleeper attached to my side of the bed so that would catch ds if he fell off. He moves back and forth between my left and right side, depending on which boob he's eating off of. I have no worries about dh rolling on him...in fact, sometimes ds sleeps in dh's arms! We don't let the dogs on the bed with ds, nor do I drink heavily before bed (not that I drink heavily at any other time either). But, I have 3 dogs, all over 40 lbs, so it's really more about room and comfort than safety. The drinking thing is a no-brainer...I wouldn't be drunk around him asleep OR awake for obvious reasons. Why is that always emphasized so heavily in regards to sleep?

Honestly I think all the hoopla about co-sleeping being safe ONLY when you follow certain (and often silly) rules reinforces the idea that it's inherently dangerous. Common sense should be applied to...wait for it...EVERYTHING, not specifically to bed sharing with your baby.


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## Chamsia (Jan 19, 2007)

I am pretty sure that those "rules" are published in books and magazines (including Mothering) just so the authors don't get sued. I recall a recent issue of Mothering where a letter pointed out that, in the cosleeping article, a Mothering article printed the "rules", but all of their photos showed cosleeping families "violating" them! Probably because no one, child or adult, wants to sleep on a cold hard mattress with just a fitted sheet! Brr!

We have a babe and a 4yo. Both babes slept with us from the beginning, with a rolled-up towel as a bumper between baby and dad. We got a bedrail when the 2nd babe was born so the baby could go on my side with our 4 year old in the middle. And the cats. And the comforter. And the 5 pillows. And I often have a beer, though I'm certainly not drunk. Hubby usually has some wine. And we are all a-ok.

I daresay it's all about fear of lawsuits, not realism at all. Perhaps the real question should be, are there any cosleepers who actually follow all the rules? They must be cold!


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## Ginger Bean (Mar 10, 2011)

I'm not obese, don't have pets, don't take medication, and don't drink. I used to be a heavy sleeper and was worried about that -- but believe me, that's not a concern these days.

My 6-month-old son was a winter baby, and when he was an immobile newborn I was afraid my heavy comforter would end up on his face (it never did, by the way), so I started dressing very warmly for bed and using one of those fleece throws because it's thin and narrow. I found that I actually sleep better this way. I used to always get too hot and throw off the comforter and then I would be too cold, etc.

I've always used pillows. My baby sleeps (way) below them near my breast. I don't understand the rule against pillows.

My bed has a frame, but it's fairly low. When my son started rolling, I got a Snug Tuck Pillow (which works brilliantly -- I'm not too keen on hard guard rails).

My husband sleeps in another room and has for many years. We are extremely incompatible sleep-wise, and one of the best things we did was to get past the expectation that married people should sleep in the same bed/room.

The only things I'm worried about: naps and crawling. My son sleeps alone in our bed for naps. He has the Snug Tuck on his side and can't roll over that no matter how hard he tries, and I put pillows on my side when I'm not there with him, but I don't know what will happen when he starts crawling. Anyone have any insight? I don't want to sleep on a mattress on the floor, but I guess I have to.


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## CheriK (Mar 18, 2003)

Really? No pillows or blankets? Um, how are you supposed to sleep? You might want to check out James McKenna's website (http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/guide.html) for guidelines from someone who actually researches infant/maternal sleep.

We removed really fluffy bedding (down comforter - all our babies were born in the winter - boo!) & kept pillows at our head height. Baby slept next to my side for the most part, but all 3 at some times slept chest to chest with an adult. We almost always had a baby btwn mom and dad (how not to, with twins). We had dogs in the bed. We had older children in the bed with our 3rd, but not right next to the baby. No drug or alcohol use, so that wasn't an issue. No obesity, so that wasn't an issue. We dropped the mattress to the floor w/ the twins when DD scooted herself off the bed - oops! W/ #3, we dropped the mattress right away. It's slightly off the floor on a bedframe. By the time they were a year old, we pretty much did whatever worked & didn't worry about "guidelines".

Key point - "guide". It's a suggestion, not rigid rules. What works in one family won't work in another. Fox TV did an interview w/ James McKenna a few years back & the common factor in all the cosleeping deaths reported was formula feeding. They all had other factors, but all the babies were formula fed. So if you're not breastfeeding, then there might be more risk involved.


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## moonfirefaery (Jul 21, 2006)

No, I don't, but that's because my kids are 5 and 3. They are used to sleeping in their bed together, on the couch, or with me with pillows in blankets and have been for a long time. I don't think they're at any risk of suffocating on them! We cosleep in a queen sized bed with a memory foam mattress topper and lots of blankets. Very comfy.


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## heybabyquepaso (Mar 5, 2011)

Wait, he isn't supposed to sleep between us?? I didn't even know that was a rule until I started reading the replies in this thread! LOL.

We don't. We were always pretty intentional about making sure the blankets and pillows weren't next to his face, but we pretty much just plopped him in between us and even now- I just put him in his spot in the middle of our bed, LOL. Actually, now at almost 6 mos., he kind of snuggles with the comforter but I'm not as worried because I know he can turn and move it off his face. We don't have the bed against a wall or anything even. So I guess when he's old enough to roll off the bed, we'll have to be vigilant about preventing it or just be more aggressive about putting him in his own bed or something...

I worried about the rules when I read the No Cry Sleep Solution too (and pretty much every other co-sleeping literature). But things are going well and we all sleep great so I guess this works  (heh. I guess I didn't even read the rules close enough to see that part about him being between us!)


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## MsFortune (Dec 5, 2010)

I followed these rules to a T when my kids were in the SIDS age danger zone. The only rule I did not follow was the mattress on the floor one. At about 6 mos I relaxed a lot.

I swaddled or used sleep sacks on baby and did not use a blanket for myself - I used a zip from sweatshirt and blanket up to my waist.


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## gozal (Nov 7, 2008)

Quote:



> Originally Posted by *CheriK*
> 
> Really? No pillows or blankets? Um, how are you supposed to sleep?


Yeah, that's exactly what I thought! Frankly, I think the sanctioned "rules" about cosleeping/bedsharing (and they are disseminated as rules, not guidelines, by e.g. the AAP and other medical organizations) are intentionally designed to discourage cosleeping. Honestly, I don't know any adult who would be willing to regularly sleep without a pillow and blanket on a hard mattress. So advocating that as the only safe way to sleep is tantamount to saying "don't do it." (I also know many babies who aren't willing to sleep on a flat hard surface, like, say, DS and myself as a baby!) All the more so when you are required to ditch your bed frame and never roll over/change positions (because the baby must stay on the mother's side of the bed).

DS wouldn't sleep anywhere but touching me - not in a cosleeper, not in the snuggle nest, nothing doing. So I thought, well, what am I going to do, throw out our relatively new "pillow-top" mattress and replace it with a hard one that I have never liked? Lie there cold and uncomfortable all night? I thought about it, of course. I mean, here are the professionals telling you you are endangering your baby's life. But I had to do something in the meantime, because he would not sleep anywhere but on me and I was falling asleep holding him as it was, also not safe. Well, I tried it, he never moved from the crook of my arm and I was hyperaware of everything that was going on with him. I wore a warm shirt, put the blanket only up to my waist, made sure there were no dangerous gaps around the mattress, and didn't look back. I have been upset about the "rules" ever since. Especially after doing more reading more about this topic, such as the juvenile products' lobby to change the term "crib death" into SIDS - why? To mask the fact that cribs are, statistically speaking, still a riskier place for babies to sleep, than in beds with their mothers. (I think they can both be safe options, btw, whatever works for a given family.)


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## Magali (Jun 8, 2007)

No rules here. I am very aware of my dd during the night. We sleep in a bed with her dad and 3 year old brother. I am just aware of everything that goes on. I follow common sense, not rules.


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## CheriK (Mar 18, 2003)

Actually, most medical organizations, like the AAP, say you should never sleep with your baby (actually, I think they say a baby should never sleep in an adult bed but in a crib or cosleeper). So those "rules" aren't being publicized by medical organizations, nor by sleep researchers, but by folks trying to sell sleep books. Again, I'd go to a source that is actually studying infant and maternal sleep, James McKenna, or API, for safe sleep guidelines. Or, like so much in parenting, trust your gut and do what works for your family.


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## gozal (Nov 7, 2008)

CheriK, you're right, the rules are nowhere on the AAP site. However, they do appear in all sorts of AAP-influenced media, like Parents magazine or here on the March of Dimes website, which I think is a pretty typical presentation. That's what I was thinking of, anyway. But you bring up a good point.


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## tavamom (Mar 11, 2011)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *chewynotcrunchy*
> 
> So I just started reading the No Cry Sleep Solution and am wondering if there are other co-sleeping families who don't follow all the safety guidelines for co-sleeping she outlines? For example: no blankets or pillows in bed, baby never between mom and dad, mattress on the floor or guard rails, don't co-sleep if you are obese, no pets, or others? Of course making sure there are no gaps between the bed and the wall baby could get stuck in is very important, but no blankets or pillows just isn't feasible at my house. I feel we are very safe co-sleepers, but we do "break the rules" quite often. Are there other rebellious co-sleeping families out there or am I totally out of line?


I coslept with two LOs. I haven't ready the No Cry Sleep Solution, but those guidelines were not followed by us. No blankets or pillows seems outrageous to me. We had guard rails for one LO and they were more dangerous than any other options and we abandoned them. Baby slept on either side of me at night with DS1, which meant sometimes between mom and dad. I tried keeping DS2 on the outside so DH and I could have more snuggle time and this was horrible. It hurt my back and hips and made it so my son also never slept on his other side, which is really bad for us both, IMO. Our older child would climb into bed in the morning when DS2 was little, which would count as the "others" you mentioned, but he would never lie next to the baby. So of all those "requirements," the only ones we followed are not being obese and making sure there were no gaps. I don't see how people could actually sleep with all the other requirements.


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## KateDavies45 (Nov 2, 2010)

we don't. We've both got pillows, only one blanket though, I swaddle her (other wise she squirms and stretches so vigorously even while deeply asleep that she wakes us up). we're pretty sure DD also has moderate GERD (she wouldn't tolerate having the pH testing done so we're just going to treat it as gerd since it seems to be working) so she sleeps on her stomach on wedge when it's really bothering her. She generally sleeps on whatever side of the bed I'm facing and in the crook of my arm, be it between me and DH or not. As far as DH supposedly rolling over on her because he wouldn't be as "aware" as I am....LOL he's woken me up before saying that he was worried I was getting to close to her!


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## mommy212 (Mar 2, 2010)

We don't follow any of those rules either  We have always had a blanket, usually a comforter but I don't feel bad about that because LO sleeps on top of it anyways; he can't stand being under the blanket and won't sleep with it. We have pillows. Our bed is on the frame now but for a while it was on the floor when DS first started crawling


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## luckiest (Apr 29, 2009)

Other than DH sleeping on the couch after a few beers, we don't follow any. We have thin blankets, but it's TX and it's hot. Our mattress is on the floor, but only until we have the funds for a frame









I heard one time that breastfeeding mothers are more aware of their infants when sleeping than those that don't. The specific example was that bf'ing mothers very very rarely turn their backs to the baby while sleeping, while dads and bottle-feeding moms will. I know I never have woken up with my back to him. I've just always felt like I'm aware of where he is, in the sane way that I don't roll off the bed because I know where the edge is.

I love reading about all of you who have 2 in the bed! I keep wondering how it's going to play out when we have another.


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## aHikaru (Apr 12, 2011)

Honestly, a e slept on my chest the first four months, thats the only way she would sleep, and when she wasn't sleeping she was nursing every two hours. Now she is 2, 38" and 25lbs, and we still sleep in the same room.


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## quantumleap (Apr 13, 2006)

I don't know anyone who cosleeps and actually follows those "rules". I always sort of skimmed over them and assumed they were there to cover the authors' butts. We use a down comforter, and pillows, no rails, and babe definitely sleeps between DH and I. Almost 4 month old DS even sleeps between 2year old DD and I quite frequently. I was a little anal about having both kids in bed with us for the first few weeks, but then reality set in! We do have a firm mattress, and it is on the floor, but that would be the case without children in it as well. We like a firm mattress and we're not spending money we don't have on a bed frame.  Neither of us are obese, but I really don't see how that would make any sort of difference in terms of our sleeping decisions.

We tend to sleep tummy to tummy, although there was a lot of babe on my chest for the first several weeks. Both kids also seem to sleep better on their bellies, so that's how we put them down.

I agree with everyone else, you use your common sense and do what works for your life. It's interesting to see what everyone else does.


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## sweetpeppers (Dec 19, 2007)

Nope. I don't know who could sleep without a blanket. Does anyone actually follow that?? Or a pillow for that matter. My bed was on the floor, but not because of baby, just because I like it like that.


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## moonfirefaery (Jul 21, 2006)

I remember being just hyper-aware of my babies when we were nursing and cosleeping for the first few months. I often woke up right before they started crying. My eyes would snap open and then literally a second later the crying would start before I'd even moved. This was especially true with Corbin. I used to sleep with Orin pressed up against my chest like a tiny teddy bear when he was a newborn. Two adults, two kids, two cats, and one dog piling into a king-sized bed with a crib sidecarred...and we never even came close to having an incident. Now it's one adult, two kids, and one dog in a queen. I sure miss that king... Even the sidecarred crib would be nice.


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## teraze (Apr 6, 2011)

I wish I read these posts 5 months ago! The "rules" we break every time are sleeping with blankets, pillows and on a pillow-top. Although I don't really think the pillow-top's THAT great...I never get the sensation I'm sinking into it going aaahhhhhh... Anyway, even though we sleep comfortably, I'm still very aware of where the pillows and blankets are although that's getting easier now that we side-lay most of the time to breastfeed. (Before we were practiced in breastfeeding while laying down, I'd sit up at least three times a night and cradle hold my love. So silly.) 

Also, when DS was a brand-new born we had one of those co-sleepers we put in the middle of the bed with bars and mesh. My days-old babe would scutch over to me, lay on his side and place his tiny little hand against the mesh - it felt like he was in jail! No thank you! We never lasted the night using that and for months it's been holding my clean folded laundry. At least it was a shower gift... (And at least now I know!)


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## Thing1Thing2 (Apr 30, 2008)

We never used bed rails and I always slept with a pillow and blanket.

I took precautions when he was an infant like keeping my head below his on the bed and tucking the blankets in to the bottom of the mattress so I was sure they wouldnt be able to cover his head.

We dont sleep that much since my DS has reflux. So Im not sure we would ever fall into a deep sleep.

Never took drugs or alcohol or smoke. We did have a close call one time where I woke up and the blanket was on his head. He was making a big fuss about it thank God and I quickly removed them. That was when I started sleeping with my head below his to be extra careful.


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