# thank you cards for 4 year old



## chkpea (Oct 1, 2003)

we are just getting over our 4 year olds birthday party...for one, how do you keep it small? I was almost embarrassed at the gifts that he got, it just seems like so mucy stuff. It's nice that people care and like to give things but it just seems like so much. I did want to keep the celebration to just us but friends asked what we were doing and to let them know about any celebration. Anyhow, enough said about that, but do most people have their children send out a thank you for the gifts that they get?


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## rainyday (Apr 28, 2006)

For DS's fourth birthday, we had him sign his name to a card that we wrote for him. For his fifth, his fine motor skills had improved enough that he wrote "thank you" and his name on the cards. We still added a sentence or two to that for him. I know some people have their 4 yos who are strong writers write more than their name on their cards, and I know others who wrote all their 4 yos cards for the child, including signing the child's name. In other words, I think there's quite a range of what people do!


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

I do, and I get irritated when other parents don't. It's such an essential skill that it's crucial to learn at an early age. (OK, no I get irritated when my nieces and nephews don't. I don't really get irritated at kids in his class.)

When ds was 4, I had him do some paintings and then made cards with them (trimmed them to fit a sheet of paper folded in 1/4s, then glued the painting to the outside, wrote the thank you on the inside and had him sign it.) Even if your child can't write their name, they can do enough art to create a card (even at 1!), and then you can do the rest.

When ds was 5, he could write thank you. So, I folded paper in half, had him write Thank You on the outside, and then decorate it. I wrote the note on the inside and he signed it.

At 6, he could write both the thank you on the outside and the message on the inside. So, we composed them together (Thank you for the __________. I like it because/It's fun because __________________.). Then I typed them up and printed out a piece of paper with the messages on them, and he copied them onto cards and signed his name.


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## woo27ks (Jan 15, 2003)

My dd writes - "Thank You - Annie" and then she decorates with stickers.

I think writing thank you notes are essential, too.


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## DariusMom (May 29, 2005)

mmm. . .. I'm usually Miss Manners







and write thank you notes religiously. I also get annoyed if I don't get one when I should. However, I do believe that the real Miss Manners says that there is no need to write a thank you note when you've thanked the giver in person.

So, if your DC got the gift at his/her birthday party and thanked the person, it is a nice "extra" to send a thank you note, IMO (and Miss Manners'!), but not required (expected) by traditional etiquette. However, if someone gave a gift to you for your DC and s/he didn't thank him/her for it (because s/he wasn't there, because it was too busy at the party, because it was sent via the mail, etc.) then it is necessary to write a thank you note.

In short, a thank you note is ever "wrong" but it certainly isn't required when you've already thanked the giver in person.


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## twopinknoblue (Feb 22, 2007)

I suggest that my 4 yo send thank you notes for presents she receives, but I don't require it. I have a stash of notes she can choose from, or she can make her own. She usually chooses to send thank you notes, but sometimes she does not.

If she chooses a pre-written note, she generally signs her name. If she makes her own she will usually use stamps and stamp out "Thank You" and then write her name and decorate the card with other stamps, stickers, drawings, etc.


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## Zach'smom (Nov 5, 2004)

When ds was 4 he dictated the notes while I wrote them. Then he signed them and added pictures and stickers. We always send thank you notes. Even if ds has thanked the giver in person. Not only is it good manners, but it is a good way to pactice writing skills and it is a fun activity.


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## hubris (Mar 8, 2003)

For DS1's 4th birthday, I took a photo of him holding a "Thank You" sign and made it into cards. He and I talked about the gifts he received and wrote the notes together - I would lead by starting sentences and pausing so that he could supply what it was he liked about each gift, or other things he wanted to say to that person, and I took dictation. He signed his own name to each card.

I avoid saying blanket things to him like "it's good manners to send a thank-you note" because some people don't necessarily want or like receiving them. In my family, certain people feel that it's excessive to write a note in addition to giving personal thanks. But for invited guests and family members who like receiving notes, I think 4 y/o is old enough to start to learn that it's nice to send a note after the party.


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## Jess A (May 26, 2006)

My 4 year old drew or colored pictures for each friend, and then I wrote what she liked about her gift. Then she signed them.

I think thank you notes are important, and we work on them together each time someone sends them a gift. We absolutely send them if we haven't thanked the person in person, but sometimes we send notes then as well. The kids love mailing letters and notes.


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## Hannahsmummy (Oct 12, 2006)

We absolutely always send thank you cards for gifts.

It's a fun project and gets a child actually thinking about the gift and the giver. It's hard for kids in the throws of a big party to connect the two at the time.

We sit down and decorate a stack of cards then she fills them out and signs them. My 4 year old can write so she tells me what she wants to say and I spell it out for her.


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## emilysmama (Jun 22, 2005)

I feel very strongly that my 3.5 yo dd get in the habit of writing a thank you note for each gift.

I just grab a standard adult thank you card, stick a pen in dd's hand, grasp her hand in mine, and I write the note by moving her hand using my hand. I write out the addressee's name and address on the envelope so that the post office does not have to decipher the awful handwriting, but dd affixes onto the envelop the stamp, the return address label, and decorates with stickers. In this way, we write a paragraph or so on the thank you note. It's not the neatest penmanship in the world, and she can't read or write so she can't comprehend what she is writing, but I hope through practicing this process she understands that every gift received requires a prompt personally thank you note.

One unexpected benefit is that she learned how to recognize her name by the closing message in signing so many thank you notes.

Curiously enough, it doesn't really bother me when other children don't write thank you notes to me for gifts that I have given. Yet I would say that I am extreme about having my dd write thank you notes because I do not allow the gift to be used or opened until the note is written.


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## mahogny (Oct 16, 2003)

At 4, I had my son dictate his thank yous for me, and I wrote them down word for word. Some of them were really cute that way.

"Thank you for the puzzle, Nana. I took it apart, and then I didn't put it together, and I went to the other room and played with a car, and then I came back and put the puzzle together. And then I had a snack."

Once he was old enough to write his name, I had him sign his own name to them.

But with the dictated notes, he's still doing the actual thanking, and understanding the importance of formally thanking people for gifts.

At 5, he could write Thank You and then his name, and at 6, he can write his entire note all by himself.

Okay, my pet peeve are those thank you notes that are sold where you just have to fill in the blanks. The thank you cards literally say, "Dear _______, Thank you for the _____________ . I like it a lot! Love, __________"
My SIL sends those out for her daughter, and they just require no thought at all! Just filling in the blanks! And the daughter doesn't even fill them out - SIL does!


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## LovinLiviLou (Aug 8, 2004)

It's interesting to read these answers. I've been amazed at how few thank you cards we've received from Dd's friends. Anyway, I'm a big believer in thank you cards, so we do them. For this year's bday, we made thank you cards using pictures from the bday party. So, for Susie's thank you card, there was a picture of Susie at the party on the front, and then I wrote what DD narrated on the inside. Some of them were really funny, but I think everybody knew that DD had really been involved!


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