# WWYD: MIL just wants a salad...again...



## MommyHawk (Aug 4, 2006)

Ok, my MIL has Christmas dinner for her side of the family every year and every year she asks her 3 DD's to bring multiple dishes (side dishes, deserts, cookies, help with the main courses) and every year she asks me to bring just a simple salad. Simple, just a salad. No dressing, just the salad. The thing is, I can cook! I can cook my tushie off and I only have to bring a salad?!?!? She has even mentioned just getting the kind at the store that is prepackaged, just open the bag and, well, she has a bowl... what should I do? I want to do more, but it's her house. And, really, I am offended year after year. Her DD's can not cook anything other than something from a box. I cook everything from scratch and whole foods. I can't even eat what they bring as I'm not used to eating stuff from cans and boxes. But, just a salad...do you think I'm looking too much into this?!??! Should I tell her I'd be happy to bring something else? or just bring salad in a bag....


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## Sharlla (Jul 14, 2005)

Tell her that you want to share a dish that you enjoy, so that is what you will be bringing. Maybe I'm just pushy but I would never allow myself to be treated in such a passive aggressive manner.


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## moondiapers (Apr 14, 2002)

Maybe she's worried about your great cooking skills making her dd's feel inadequate? Or maybe tradition is really important to her and she doesn't want any of the dishes to taste different than usual?


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## moondiapers (Apr 14, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sharlla* 
Tell her that you want to share a dish that you enjoy, so that is what you will be bringing. Maybe I'm just pushy but I would never allow myself to be treated in such a passive aggressive manner.

I'd do this, but in a more polite way. I'd bring the salad, plus a dish that is different than what is usually there.


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## Best Feeling (May 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *moondiapers* 
I'd do this, but in a more polite way. I'd bring the salad, plus a dish that is different than what is usually there.

THIS is what I'd do. Actually, I'd be thrilled to just have to make a salad, LOL. But if I was as passionate about cooking or had food restrictions, I'd do that


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## beka1977 (Aug 1, 2004)

Maybe she feels fine imposing on her daughters but not on her guests (you)!


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## DayDreamer (Aug 14, 2006)

Are you sure she doesn't want to inconvenience you? I know my grandma used to do similar things. She expected so much out of me but family friends were different. If a friend was coming for a dinner and asked what they could bring my gram would tell them "nothing" and if they insisted she would say something like "ice cream". LOL


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## happyhippiemama (Apr 1, 2004)

Or bring a really fabulous salad. With all kinds of delish ingredients. And a homemade dressing on the side - maybe even in a beautiful bottle that you can leave at your MIL's house to enjoy.


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *moondiapers* 
I'd do this, but in a more polite way. I'd bring the salad, plus a dish that is different than what is usually there.

That's exactly what I would do as well. Bring the salad she asked for PLUS some other stuff that I know I would enjoy and hope the others would enjoy as well.


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## Kitsune6 (Mar 31, 2005)

Have you told her it hurts your feelings? Maybe tell her you really would like to make something fun besides just the salad. Maybe she doesn't want to make extra work for you. I have no idea what your dynamic is so take my suggestion with a grain of salt.


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## anitaj71 (Mar 1, 2006)

Let it go? It's once a year. If you must, do what moondiapers says. Bring a salad and another dish. You never know, ( unless you've asked) she could be doing this to be kind to you. Maybe she is trying to make your life easier. I could make up all sorts of reasons good and bad for the 'why' she does it. Who knows? You could have a kind conversation with her about it. Unless she's a crazy person this could probably be resolved with a simple conversation. Please don't take that the wrong way . . . I don't know your MIL and I know how it is when something is the status quo it's hard to make a change.


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## MommyHawk (Aug 4, 2006)

maybe I'll just bring the salad and a surprise dish...that wouldn't be mean, would it? I think I had a discussion with her last year about how the 'salad' makes me feel and, well, she just called to tell me she wants a salad...so it went over her head. She's plenty nice to me, but she does have a unspoken mean streak and I just don't want to awaken it. I just stay polite. I only see her rarely really...but for crying out loud...just a salad?!??! what she must think of me that I can't handle more than a salad....honestly, if that was my father bringing something, this is what I would ask him to bring. Not a woman that cooks every day for her family...KWIM?...


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## bullfrog (Feb 19, 2003)

I would think she doesn't like your cooking. But I would bring what you want to and the salad as well. Who cares if there's an extra something delicious on the table


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## phatchristy (Jul 6, 2005)

I'd bring a salad and another dish that is "your specialty."

I did that once to a family get together, and they *all* LOVED it!


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## ~Megan~ (Nov 7, 2002)

Tell her that you'd like to bring more than just a salad this year. Explain that you like to cook and want to help out more.


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## cheenya (Dec 17, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyHawk* 
maybe I'll just bring the salad and a surprise dish...that wouldn't be mean, would it?

No it wouldn't be mean, its exactly what I'd do, especially given that you don't like the rest of the food there








But really no one should be offended if you bring more than what is asked for.


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *moondiapers* 
I'd do this, but in a more polite way. I'd bring the salad, plus a dish that is different than what is usually there.









:

I'd bring the requested salad PLUS something else yummy.

-Angela


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## ledzepplon (Jun 28, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *moondiapers* 
I'd do this, but in a more polite way. I'd bring the salad, plus a dish that is different than what is usually there.

I'd do this too. Or bring a salad only. You could have a party at your house and cook your tushie off if you want to do that at another time.

She probably just doesn't want to impose on you and is trying to think of something quick and simple that won't be a burden to prepare at this busy time of year.


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## cycle (Nov 18, 2004)

Usually people who eat mainly things from a can or box do not like "real" food. KWIM? My brother and SIL only eat things that come from boxes or cans - they turn their noses up at anything I make and constantly make fun of my eating and cooking habits. Whatevah!

I would make the salad and bring another dish, at least you'll have something you can eat







- and don't be bothered by it at all.


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## hillymum (May 15, 2003)

It's not rude to bring more than you were asked to ring. It's a nice thing to do, especially if there isn't anything you are normally served which you or other members of your family like to eat. Show them how well you can cook and enjoy!


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## mamalisa (Sep 24, 2002)

I agree with whoever said bring the best salad you can. They will probably turn their nose up at it because it's not iceberg and sliced tomatoes, but that's ok too.

I make a kick butt spinach salad with roasted red peppers, goat cheese and pine nuts. It's awesome!


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## onlyzombiecat (Aug 15, 2004)

I understand how you feel. Dh's family was like that for years. They would say to bring nothing or bring pie. It really made me feel like they thought I was a bad cook or an outsider instead of family.
I think bringing salad and another dish you enjoy would be fine.


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## LionTigerBear (Jan 13, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cycle* 
Usually people who eat mainly things from a can or box do not like "real" food. KWIM? My brother and SIL only eat things that come from boxes or cans - they turn their noses up at anything I make and constantly make fun of my eating and cooking habits. Whatevah!

I would make the salad and bring another dish, at least you'll have something you can eat







- and don't be bothered by it at all.

This is what I was thinking. I'll bet she thinks she won't like the "weird" food you make. Some of my in-laws can be like that. They prefer the processed . . . stuff.

I'd be all passive-aggressive and smile and bring some of my wholesome "weird" food, anyway.


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## jeca (Sep 21, 2002)

I'd bring the salad and also whatever dish I felt was my best just to see her face.


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## MissLotus (Nov 2, 2005)

As long as you bring the salad she suggested, it would not be impolite to ALSO bring whatever you choose. Like if I'm invited to a friend's and they said, "Just bring some bread,"...I'm not going to bring only bread, so I bring something else too. How would anyone mind extra food?


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## chaoticzenmom (May 21, 2005)

I think I'd just make a dish that I love and bring it anyway, without notice. Just say that you had the inspiration and ingredients, so you made it. Make sure it's something that will be requested year after year


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## karina5 (Apr 15, 2006)

I'd bring the salad bag and something else.


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## Hera (Feb 4, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *beka1977* 
Maybe she feels fine imposing on her daughters but not on her guests (you)!









I like this explanation much better than passive aggressive, in this case. Every year I ask my mom for all kinds of help, because she is my mom! Dp's mom asks what she can bring, I always say something exactly like that. We have it covered, don't worry, if you want you can bring the relish tray. It isn't that I don't think she can cook, it's just that I don't want to sign her up for heavy duty.

If it offends her, she has yet to say anything to me about it. Hint, hint...if I were you, I'd either bring a fabulous salad and something else that you know won't be redundant (by this time you know what they serve, right?) and if you want to cook more, bring an extra dessert too. Cook your heiny off anyway, and see what happens...OR, I would be direct. "Hey, I'm missing out on the fun holiday cooking. I love to do this stuff, and it's bumming me out! Let me bring more food, please!"


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## Smokering (Sep 5, 2007)

Salad plus something else... that's a good idea.









I kinda wish my MIL had asked me to bring a salad this year! I do love cooking, and people love coming over to my house for dinner... but we're moving house on Christmas Eve, which involves defrosting the freezer and fridge, and going to the inlaws' house for dinner on Christmas Day. MIL asked me to make two desserts I've never heard of, never made before, both of which require freezing/refrigeration. I have no idea when I'm going to have the time or the equipment to do this! I did, admittedly, ask DH to ask her what kind of dessert she'd like me to bring (she's fussy, doesn't like cheesecake (my specialty!) or a whole host of other desserts)... but I expected her to name something I'd actually made before! Like my famous chocolate mousse! Or my even-more-famous pumpkin pie! Or... something I'd heard of!

So a packet salad sounds like a pretty darn good deal right now.


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## Blooming (Feb 16, 2006)

I didn't read everyones's replys but I would vote to bring the salad and a dish of your choice.

I have to admit that a friend and I once did this to our friend L. Whenever we got together for a pot luck we ask her to just bring bread or a salad. One day when I said it she just kind-of exploded. She had been feeling pretty offended for a while. I had NO idea. We were saying this to her because she was working a full time job and getting her masters so we never wanted to put more on her plate. She thought we hated her food (which is not true she is a great cook). Now when she asks me what she should bring I say whatever you want.









I think you should be free to contribute whatever you want. It is your holiday to.


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Yep. I agree. A wonderful salad plus something great. If nothing else, you can eat what you bring and enjoy it.

I also agree that it is just one day a year, out of 365 days. I always say, pick your battles. If bringing a salad one day a year is what she wants, I don't see no harm. You can cook your own great meal for you and your family to enjoy.


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## stellimamo (Jan 9, 2006)

My MIL does something similiar... but she tells me not to bring anything. She cannot cook to save her life (EVERYTHING is from a box). I just started bringing something usually a side and a dessert. I was not going to be the only one that came to a family pitchin and didn't bring a dish.

I'd bring the requested salad and another dish or two you know you and your family would enjoy. I wouldn't even make a big deal about it. Justs how up w/ the extras. To much food is never a problem!


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## Jennisee (Nov 15, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyHawk* 
I think I had a discussion with her last year about how the 'salad' makes me feel and, well, she just called to tell me she wants a salad...

Ouch.









My MIL can be very passive-aggressive and puts up weird power struggles. When her own family started requesting certain dishes of mine, she went out of her way to not let me know a gathering was a potluck or to make the requested dish herself before I had a chance.

From what I've been told by other family members, she feels that my "spicy, exotic" taste in food is a snub to the way she cooks (bland, colorless, no seasoning except salt) and that she got upset when family members "sided with me" by requesting my dishes. I had no idea she was even upset or thought it was a competition until she kept inviting us to gatherings and not telling us they were potlucks.


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## HelloKitty (Apr 1, 2004)

I think she just doesn't want to impose on you and it has nothing to do with your cooking. I would bring a salad plus something else that I wanted to share.


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## HelloKitty (Apr 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *stellimamo* 
My MIL does something similiar... but she tells me not to bring anything.

I usally ask everyone not to bring anything. It actually bothers me a great deal when I have a meal all planned out and people show up with dishes when I asked them not to bring anything. I'm not a pot luck person. It used to drive me insane and my MIL would always show up with her crappy food, finally I just gave up on doing a really nice spread for everyone and I let them bring stuff.


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## bobica (May 31, 2004)

i'd bring a salad and something else too!


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## LisainCalifornia (May 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *anitaj71* 
Let it go? It's once a year. If you must, do what moondiapers says. Bring a salad and another dish. You never know, ( unless you've asked) she could be doing this to be kind to you. Maybe she is trying to make your life easier. I could make up all sorts of reasons good and bad for the 'why' she does it. Who knows? You could have a kind conversation with her about it. Unless she's a crazy person this could probably be resolved with a simple conversation. Please don't take that the wrong way . . . I don't know your MIL and I know how it is when something is the status quo it's hard to make a change.

I completely agree.


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## LisainCalifornia (May 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HelloKitty* 
I think she just doesn't want to impose on you and it has nothing to do with your cooking. I would bring a salad plus something else that I wanted to share.









I agree, she doesn't want to impose and the last thing you should be is offended. If you honestly feel "hurt" I would call her up and have a heart to heart talk with her. She probably feels like she is helping you by not giving you one more thing to take care of for the holidays. That is the "rational" answer.

I cook the whole Thanksgiving and Xmas dinner for my parents and the only thing I ask from them is a "salad" (if even that) because I want to make their lives easier. I work very hard behind the scenes to do this for them, and it is done out of love, not spite.


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## Smokering (Sep 5, 2007)

Wanted to add: I don't usually 'let' guests bring food if I invite them for dinner, although if they offer I ask them to bring juice or some kind of drink. It doesn't mean I think they're bad cooks--it's usually a combination of not wanting to put them out (the point of having guests being hospitality), and wanting the food to 'match'. Plus, some of them are students/not cooks/very busy.

I wonder if I'm offending people!


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## prairiemommy (Sep 25, 2003)

I'd do as the others are suggesting - bring a salad and something else.

Perhaps she has a master list of who brings what in her head and it just doesn't change year-to-year. I find that my grandma gets stuck more and more in certain rituals as she ages.


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## Jennisee (Nov 15, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LisainCalifornia* 
If you honestly feel "hurt" I would call her up and have a heart to heart talk with her.

I believe she already did that last year. Maybe I'm misunderstanding, but it sounds like her MIL continued to ask for "just salad" even after the OP explained that it hurt her feelings.


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## LionTigerBear (Jan 13, 2006)

To answer those who said she just didn't want to impose . . .

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ledzepplon* 
She probably just doesn't want to impose on you and is trying to think of something quick and simple that won't be a burden to prepare at this busy time of year.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hera* 
I like this explanation much better than passive aggressive, in this case.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *HelloKitty* 
I think she just doesn't want to impose on you and it has nothing to do with your cooking.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *LisainCalifornia* 
I agree, she doesn't want to impose and the last thing you should be is offended. If you honestly feel "hurt" I would call her up and have a heart to heart talk with her.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jennisee* 
I believe she already did that last year. Maybe I'm misunderstanding, but it sounds like her MIL continued to ask for "just salad" even after the OP explained that it hurt her feelings.

Yep . . .

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyHawk* 
I had a discussion with her last year about how the 'salad' makes me feel and, well, she just called to tell me she wants a salad...so it went over her head. She's plenty nice to me, but she does have a unspoken mean streak and I just don't want to awaken it....


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## stellimamo (Jan 9, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HelloKitty* 
I usally ask everyone not to bring anything. It actually bothers me a great deal when I have a meal all planned out and people show up with dishes when I asked them not to bring anything. I'm not a pot luck person. It used to drive me insane and my MIL would always show up with her crappy food, finally I just gave up on doing a really nice spread for everyone and I let them bring stuff.


This is a family potluck. Everyone brings something: the host does the meat dish and everyone else brings a side or a dessert. I would the only one not contributing to the meal. If it werej ust a dinner MIL was doing I would offer but not make a big deal but when its a pitch in type thing, I don't want to be the only one who doesn't show up to the host's w/o anything.

It sounds like the OPs dinner is a pitch in type meal not a dinner party.


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## HoneymoonBaby (Mar 31, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyHawk* 
Ok, my MIL has Christmas dinner for her side of the family every year and every year she asks her 3 DD's to bring multiple dishes (side dishes, deserts, cookies, help with the main courses) and every year she asks me to bring just a simple salad. Simple, just a salad. No dressing, just the salad. The thing is, I can cook! I can cook my tushie off and I only have to bring a salad?!?!? She has even mentioned just getting the kind at the store that is prepackaged, just open the bag and, well, she has a bowl... what should I do? I want to do more, but it's her house. And, really, I am offended year after year. Her DD's can not cook anything other than something from a box. I cook everything from scratch and whole foods. I can't even eat what they bring as I'm not used to eating stuff from cans and boxes. But, just a salad...do you think I'm looking too much into this?!??! Should I tell her I'd be happy to bring something else? or just bring salad in a bag....
















I'm in the same, exact, identical situation and my way of showing I can do more is to turn salads into works of art. One year I brought a side dish and it seemed to throw off the whole meal "plan," so now I bring what I'm asked to bring, but make it awesome. I'm running out of fabulous salad ideas, though.


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## homewithtwinsmama (Jan 5, 2005)

How about this? "Mom, its someone else's turn to do the salad. I have been asked to bring it year after year and frankly I love to cook and salad is a poor use of my talents. Now what can I COOK that you would like to have or shall I just surprise you?"

I seriously would just bring what I liked, though I would give her the heads up that if bagged salad is all she needs she can pick it up when she does the rest of her grocery shopping. Sound to me like her "mean streak" is coming out. She purposely prevents a good and interested cook from making a meaningful and delicious contribution. Either that or I would stay home and cook a fabulous meal for my own family. I too love to cook and this would be insulting to me if it was ongoing as it has been for you.


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## 2 in August (Jan 6, 2006)

I would bring a salad and then something totally delish and if they don't want it more for you.


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## hazelmama (Nov 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hillymum* 
It's not rude to bring more than you were asked to ring. It's a nice thing to do, especially if there isn't anything you are normally served which you or other members of your family like to eat. Show them how well you can cook and enjoy!









:

Bring the salad and some other yummy dish to share that your family loves. It's never rude to contribute more than you are asked for to a potluck situation like you are describing.


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## OwensMa (Apr 15, 2004)

And make a really kick-a$$ salad, too! Try this!http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/108714


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## EFmom (Mar 16, 2002)

I would just bring a nice salad.

I have to admit, I'm much more likely to ask my sisters to bring more items and more complicated stuff than my SILs. It's not that my SILs aren't good cooks. They are. It's just that I do feel like it's easier to impose on my sisters.

Personally, I hate, hate, hate it when people bring additional items beyond what I know about ahead of time.


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## kamesennin (Jan 3, 2005)

I agree with making a kick ass salad with your own homemade dressing, plus bring along a bag of that sh*t from the grocery for people who like iceberg. If you have time you should bring a yummy side dish too. My mom gets annoyed when there are too many leftovers, so maybe your MIL is like that? My mom can offend anyone if she puts her mind to it--I bet your MIL is not being like that on purpose.


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## Black Orchid (Mar 28, 2005)

some people are so used to eating garbage that they don't have a taste for good food. seriously. i can cook, too... so can dh. and we had thanksgiving this year (After my mom ORDERED me to do it) and my parents are suddenly "busy" for xmas dinner.









at first i was hurt, then i realized that they have been eating the same things for over 50 years and its not that i am a bad cook, the fresh- good stuff just tastes different and that is not what people want on the holidays.

its their loss! you can come to my house and bring whatever you want!


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## HelloKitty (Apr 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *stellimamo* 
This is a family potluck. Everyone brings something: the host does the meat dish and everyone else brings a side or a dessert. I would the only one not contributing to the meal. If it werej ust a dinner MIL was doing I would offer but not make a big deal but when its a pitch in type thing, I don't want to be the only one who doesn't show up to the host's w/o anything.

It sounds like the OPs dinner is a pitch in type meal not a dinner party.

I knew that about the OP's, wasn't sure about yours so figured I'd mention it. Do you know if that is what was intended in your situation - a pot luck - or do the other relatives just show up with stuff without being asked to contribute? I guess that's what I was wondering. Our functions with the IL's have begrudingly turned into pot lucks despite my wishes so I'm probably bitter.


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## QueenOfTheMeadow (Mar 25, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *happyhippiemama* 
Or bring a really fabulous salad. With all kinds of delish ingredients. And a homemade dressing on the side - maybe even in a beautiful bottle that you can leave at your MIL's house to enjoy.

This is what I'd do. I make a rockin' salad with baked pears slices, walnuts, provolone cheese curls, and a rasberry vinagrette. It is absolutely fabulous!! So go for a salad that is strikingly beauuuutiful and absolutely delicious.


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## allgirls (Apr 16, 2004)

So if you just bring a salad then you are stuck just eating salad. Bring something you like and will enjoy along with a nice salad.

If no one else eats it, take it back home so you don't have to cook the next day.

I always bring something veggie or I may not have anything to eat at any potluck I go to. But people are used to me. And my veggies stuff disappears really fast!


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## theretohere (Nov 4, 2005)

I think that you are reading too much into it.
If it really bothers you, bring a awesome salad.


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## MommyHawk (Aug 4, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamalisa* 
I agree with whoever said bring the best salad you can. They will probably turn their nose up at it because it's not iceberg and sliced tomatoes, but that's ok too.

this is what my answer was last year. A kick butt salad, probably the best gourmet salad you could eat, complete with endive, fennel, strawberries, pine nuts...it was fantastic...and NO ONE TOUCHED IT!!!







: I'm sure that's why she STRESSED over the phone to just bring a SIMPLE salad...nothing fancy...maybe that's where the bag salad thing comes into play.

All the DD's are bringing kick a$$ deserts, so I'll just have to figure out what I can bring and bring that also...desert... hmmm... Chocolate Chipotle Brownies are probably out of the question... It's just that I was SOOOO excited when she called a few days back stating that she was going to ask EVERYONE to bring a desert...and then today she called and said that everyone can bring a desert but me...


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## stellimamo (Jan 9, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HelloKitty* 
I knew that about the OP's, wasn't sure about yours so figured I'd mention it. Do you know if that is what was intended in your situation - a pot luck - or do the other relatives just show up with stuff without being asked to contribute? I guess that's what I was wondering. Our functions with the IL's have begrudingly turned into pot lucks despite my wishes so I'm probably bitter.









Oh it's definitly a potluck situation. If noone else brought food all we would have is the host's turkey and rolls, not much of a Thanksgiving dinner.














:

I totally see what you are saying. If I'm in a dinner party situation I don't like showing up empty handed but I bring a gift of wine or the like for that.


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## Kitsune6 (Mar 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyHawk* 
t It's just that I was SOOOO excited when she called a few days back stating that she was going to ask EVERYONE to bring a desert...and then today she called and said that everyone can bring a desert but me...









That is just downright rude!







:


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## MommyHawk (Aug 4, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kitsune6* 
That is just downright rude!







:

to tell you that I shed a tear or two wouldn't be a lie


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## honolula (Apr 11, 2005)

I would most certainly NOT bring a fancy salad, not after she ignored last year's heart-to-heart! No way! I'd buy *generic* brand salad-in-a-bag. Single bag. I'd put it on MIL's counter, say "Here's the salad," and never look at it, again. *My other dish would be Fab-u-lous!!!!!*


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## HelloKitty (Apr 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyHawk* 
this is what my answer was last year. A kick butt salad, probably the best gourmet salad you could eat, complete with endive, fennel, strawberries, pine nuts...it was fantastic...and NO ONE TOUCHED IT!!!







: I'm sure that's why she STRESSED over the phone to just bring a SIMPLE salad...nothing fancy...maybe that's where the bag salad thing comes into play. ...and then today she called and said that everyone can bring a desert but me...









Ouch. Well clearly she just has no taste then. My in-laws don't either - anything slightly out of their comfort zone and they won't touch it (the comfort zone being lots of crap with chemicals and no nutrition). I would bring the simple salad plus a great desert and when you arrive say, "I know you only asked for salad but I really wanted to make this too so here you are!"

Quote:


Originally Posted by *stellimamo* 
Oh it's definitly a potluck situation. If noone else brought food all we would have is the host's turkey and rolls, not much of a Thanksgiving dinner.














:

Oh. Well never mind then.


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## Melda (Mar 27, 2003)

I say bring the stupid salad and a nice dish. Maybe next year she will change her mind. My mom insisted on having my sister bring salad every year until i boycotted it because NOBODY eats SALAD On CHIRTMAS DAY! Now mind you I have Chtristmas dinner here at my house.


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## KaraBoo (Nov 22, 2001)

Another vote for bringing what she asked for, plus a bonus dish you think everyone will like.


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## MindfulBirth (Mar 3, 2005)

I say eff up the salad big time (throw the salad bag in the freezer for a day) - THEN see if she asks you to bring salad next year.









I would then make a big show of *choking* down every bite of her food - with lots of water in between. Only eat a quarter of what is on your plate. Twenty minutes later, when everyone is clearing the dishes, very loudly exclaim how hungry you are and that you are going to call for Chinese.

Honestly, why spend such a lovely holiday with such toxic people? The best Christmas dinner I ever had was at Denny's with my friends one year when I was away from my family.


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## sunnmama (Jul 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *homewithtwinsmama* 
"Mom, its someone else's turn to do the salad. I have been asked to bring it year after year and frankly I love to cook and salad is a poor use of my talents. Now what can I COOK that you would like to have or shall I just surprise you?"

.

Perfect.

If I had something in mind that I would want to bring, I might add "It just isn't Christmas to me without _______. I'd love to bring that!"


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## Yooper (Jun 6, 2003)

I would just bring a crappy salad and leave it alone. Why waste your time and good ingredients if it is not appreciated?

I do a lot of cooking as does my SIL. We never have "potlucks" since we come from far away in all different directions. Typically, whoever is hosting does all of the meal planning although we usually all chip in to help cook. SIL and our family likes nice nice food while everyone else leans more towards comfort food. It is not "bad" just not as flavorful or interesting as what we typically like to eat. And usually not as healthy. What is funny is that SIL or I *will* bring some really nice homemade cookies (or something) that are vegan made with really nice chocolate and oils, etc...... They cost a fortune to make. And we will hide them as our own personal stash to share just with each other. No one else sees the difference between the one's we make and the can-o-cookie from the store. People will pop them like chex mix having no idea how fancy and good they really are. So we hoard them







And then just wait to be the hosts to force everyone to eat "crazy" things like whole wheat pasta or kale


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## Marcee (Jan 23, 2007)

I would bring the salad plus another dish. I mean it is food. How can people get angry if you are bringing more yummy food!

And after reading what you put in last years salad, I would like to invite you to make your "fancy" salad to my house for Christmas...lol...YUMMY!


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## Tofu the Geek (Dec 2, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyHawk* 
this is what my answer was last year. A kick butt salad, probably the best gourmet salad you could eat, complete with endive, fennel, strawberries, pine nuts...it was fantastic...and NO ONE TOUCHED IT!!!







: I'm sure that's why she STRESSED over the phone to just bring a SIMPLE salad...nothing fancy...maybe that's where the bag salad thing comes into play.

This explains it, they simply eat too boring and too processed to enjoy real food. Anything you do bring, outside of the bagged salad, will be ignored by them anyway.

Sooooo.....I'd bring the bagged salad, and I'd also bring a fabulous salad (like you did last year), and then I'd bring another great dish, AND I'd bring a yummy dessert. Then, I wouldn't take a speck of their boxed, preservative crap onto my plate, and only eat my great food (and hope DH and the kids did the same!). That way, my food gets eaten AND I don't have to eat crap for the night.









And I can sooo relate to this. I NEVER get asked to bring anything to MIL's meals, except for this year when they asked me to bring a salad.







One family member always scoops out a spaghetti squash, mixes it with Kraft Italian dressing, and throws it in the microwave to cook and calls THAT mess a dish. Ugh. Only difference is, I hate to cook so LOVE that they don't ask to me bring anything. And now this year I have to go to the effort of making a salad! Can you pick up a bag for me whiling your picking up your bag salad?







:


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## LionTigerBear (Jan 13, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TechnoGranola* 
One family member always scoops out a spaghetti squash, mixes it with Kraft Italian dressing, and throws it in the microwave to cook and calls THAT mess a dish. Ugh.


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## HelloKitty (Apr 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TechnoGranola* 
I hate to cook so LOVE that they don't ask to me bring anything. And now this year I have to the effort of making a salad! Can you pick up a bag for me whiling your picking up your bag salad?







:









My SIL hates to cook and really never does so everytime she asks what she should bring I tell her nothing but she insists so I tell her to just bring a salad. Well one time she said to me, "Why do you always ask me to bring a salad - I can bring other things you know!" So I said, "Well I know you don't like to cook so I figured I would make it easy on you and we always need salad." She was like, "Well you're right I don't like to cook. OK salad it is."


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## mnnice (Apr 15, 2003)

I feel you pain. We always get asked to bring easy stuff because we come from so far away (maybe it's because they don't like my cooking







).

Holidays with my IL drive me crazy.

I admit, I'm a food snob. But it's a holiday cook some real cranberries, whip some really cream, bake a sweet potato, and make some real stuffing. None of these things are hard people. Canned cranberries, Kool Whip, canned sweet potato with marshmellows and Stove Top don't do it for me.

I feel like I need to detox afterward (maybe with Yooper's vegan chocolate


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## happyhippiemama (Apr 1, 2004)

I offered to take a dish to the IL's house this year for Turkey Day. They've never asked me to bring anything to any gathering, and pretty much hate me, so I thought I'd suck it up and be a grown-up and offer to contribute so they couldn't accuse me of being a slacker.









I brought a super delish homemade greenbean casserole (that I got from another MDC momma!!) that's rich a creamy with babybella mushrooms....







.... and homemade onion straws on top....

anyway, they all tasted it, but didn't say a word. DP DD and I ate the hell out of it. along with really dry turkey, dressing from a box, boiled potatoes.... you get the idea.

on the way home, DP says to me, "did you realize that our green beans were the only thing with any flavor on the whole table?"

um, yes, dear, that's why I always look at you like you're crazy when you rave about what a good cook your mom is.









it took him actually comPARing how we cook side by side to figure out how awesome I am.







:

In summary. Take a bagged salad. And whatever else YOU want to eat, so you don't have to eat their crap.

Have fun!!


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## MomInFlux (Oct 23, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *honolula* 
I would most certainly NOT bring a fancy salad, not after she ignored last year's heart-to-heart! No way! I'd buy *generic* brand salad-in-a-bag. Single bag. I'd put it on MIL's counter, say "Here's the salad," and never look at it, again. *My other dish would be Fab-u-lous!!!!!*

Yeah. Why bust your butt on a fabulous salad that nobody wants anyway? Bring the damn bagged salad and let people eat it (or not!) with bottled dressing and enjoy your other fabulous dish (whatever it is!).


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## mamalisa (Sep 24, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mnnice* 
I feel you pain. We always get asked to bring easy stuff because we come from so far away (maybe it's because they don't like my cooking







).

Holidays with my IL drive me crazy.

I admit, I'm a food snob. But it's a holiday cook some real cranberries, whip some really cream, bake a sweet potato, and make some real stuffing. None of these things are hard people. Canned cranberries, Kool Whip, canned sweet potato with marshmellows and Stove Top don't do it for me.

I feel like I need to detox afterward (maybe with Yooper's vegan chocolate
















One of my favorite MIL moments was the Christmas right after dd was born. My dad and I cook, the inlaws usually come here. As everyone was finishing dinner I said that I would make the whipped cream as soon as dd was done nursing and we could have dessert. My MIL got this incredulous look on her face and said, "Make whipped cream?" I said yes, and explained how I made it. Obviously it's nothing fancy, whipping cream, powdered sugar and vanilla. I swear she snorted and said, "Well Cool Whip has always been good enough for my family." Yea, well so is "potted meat" and canned asparagus so wtf do you know. So now dh calls me "The snob who makes her own whipped cream, just to show off".


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## mnnice (Apr 15, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamalisa* 
One of my favorite MIL moments was the Christmas right after dd was born. My dad and I cook, the inlaws usually come here. As everyone was finishing dinner I said that I would make the whipped cream as soon as dd was done nursing and we could have dessert. My MIL got this incredulous look on her face and said, "Make whipped cream?" I said yes, and explained how I made it. Obviously it's nothing fancy, whipping cream, powdered sugar and vanilla. I swear she snorted and said, "Well Cool Whip has always been good enough for my family." Yea, well so is "potted meat" and canned asparagus so wtf do you know. So now dh calls me "The snob who makes her own whipped cream, just to show off".









Yea the part that gets me is Cool Whip isn't even cheaper usually. Also DH's grandparent milked cows for years and years too. They retired and then apparently everybody forgot how to whip cream.


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## honolula (Apr 11, 2005)

I DARE you to bring a flambe!!!







: That would totally steal the show, even if it's too exotic for them to actually _eat_. Especially if there are kids in the family- they'll be begging you to bring it year after year.

I'm not a p/a beeyotch, really. I just play one on the in'ernet.


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## MommyHawk (Aug 4, 2006)

She has the day off today...finding courage, organizing my tools...going to call ....


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## MommyHawk (Aug 4, 2006)

TechnoGranola - I like your evil plan







!!! I'll grab a bag o'salad for you too...and that plastic taste that the lettuce has! oh, how yummy!....







:


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Awwwww OP.

I totally know what you mean! I am a heck of a cook but they always tell me to bring salad too. Grrrrrr...

I think its because I have so many little ones. no one else has kids. My MIL is probably trying to be nice. Also, she HATES cooking so she must not understand whhy I would WANT to cook.

It urks me.

I save the good cooking for when I have people over.


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamalisa* 
So now dh calls me "The snob who makes her own whipped cream, just to show off".



















I am a snob too.

My family hates that I dont use packaged stuff in every meal.

Why?

I think they put drugs in the cheetos that brainwash the eaters and make them hate those of us who use fresh ingredients.


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## MommyHawk (Aug 4, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *honolula* 
I DARE you to bring a flambe!!!







: That would totally steal the show, even if it's too exotic for them to actually _eat_. Especially if there are kids in the family- they'll be begging you to bring it year after year.

I'm not a p/a beeyotch, really. I just play one on the in'ernet.

OH! Do you have a recipie? that sounds cool







might catch the bag o'salad a flame, but, hey, two birds!!


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## honolula (Apr 11, 2005)

Quote:

OH! Do you have a recipie? that sounds cool
bananas foster









Oh, and I was thinking about the salad: instead of bringing the bag, you should bring whole heads of romain and grill them. Keep making gourmet salads and I'll bet she stops asking you to bring it.


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## Tofu the Geek (Dec 2, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *honolula* 
Oh, and I was thinking about the salad: instead of bringing the bag, you should bring whole heads of romain and grill them. Keep making gourmet salads and I'll bet she stops asking you to bring it.









LOVE it!


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## nikag (Sep 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyHawk* 
this is what my answer was last year. A kick butt salad, probably the best gourmet salad you could eat, complete with endive, fennel, strawberries, pine nuts...it was fantastic...and NO ONE TOUCHED IT!!!







: I'm sure that's why she STRESSED over the phone to just bring a SIMPLE salad...nothing fancy...maybe that's where the bag salad thing comes into play.

All the DD's are bringing kick a$$ deserts, so I'll just have to figure out what I can bring and bring that also...desert... hmmm... Chocolate Chipotle Brownies are probably out of the question... It's just that I was SOOOO excited when she called a few days back stating that she was going to ask EVERYONE to bring a desert...and then today she called and said that everyone can bring a desert but me...



















This is not actually advice, just a fantasy for your enjoyment. I'm evil and might actually do this, but that doesn't mean you should.










You know what I'd do? I'd make a beautiful meal will all fresh ingredients, tasty, refined, delicious - FOR ONE.

I'd take it along and eat NOTHING other than what I'd prepared for myself.

If anyone asked, I'd say I was protesting. "It's an eat-in," I'd say.

And I wouldn't bring any damn salad.


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## Smokering (Sep 5, 2007)

ROFL! I love that 'snobby whipped cream' story. I'm an unabashed whipped cream snob (although Cool Whip isn't as prevalent in NZ anyway), and when I make pumpkin pie I jazz the whipped cream up by adding vanilla paste (like essence, but with actual vanilla seeds in it), spices and maple syrup. It's always fun to have people say 'Mm, good pie' and then spend five minutes exclaiming over the whipped cream!









Update on my MIL story, incidentally... DH rang her and said 'Look, we're really sorry but the fridge and freezer will be out of commission, we're moving on Christmas Eve and we really can't bring a dessert this year. Can we bring something else that doesn't need refrigerating, like cheese and crackers or a drink or something?' She hmphed and hawed and indicated her great displeasure and what a nuisance this would be, etc, before finally telling him no, just bring $10.







This is going to be a fun Christmas... now I'm gonna get the evil eye for being a lazy daughter-in-law. Come on, I'm pregnant, our kitchen tools and ingredients are in boxes in the garage, we're moving house the day before Christmas, I strained my hip so can barely hobble around--give me a break!

/hijack

Incidentally, are you sure she doesn't keep asking you to bring salad because you're good at salad? I know a woman who's a great cook, but I'd always ask her to bring a salad just because she makes stupendous ones (big chunky ones with roast veggies and feta and olives and all sorts of glamour). If they didn't eat it last year, maybe not... but it's possible she dimly remembers it was a great salad and considers you Salad Queen of the family?

Or not. Oh well. :/


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyHawk* 
this is what my answer was last year. A kick butt salad, probably the best gourmet salad you could eat, complete with endive, fennel, strawberries, pine nuts...it was fantastic...and NO ONE TOUCHED IT!!!







: I'm sure that's why she STRESSED over the phone to just bring a SIMPLE salad...nothing fancy...maybe that's where the bag salad thing comes into play.

Possibly your food choices are too "fancy" for them. Personally, if I was see a salad like you made I would not eat it either. I am a simple salad kinda person; a little lettuce (extra green), cucumbers, tomatoes, cilantro, and maybe a handful of cheese.

Maybe you should make something really simple, that is not what you really want to make, but is a compromise.

Perhaps it really is their tastes are just for plain old simple foods and they don't like "exotic" or "fancy" things and they don't want to hurt your feelings.









It could not hurt to given her the benefit of the doubt. Make a simple, but good salad as well as a simple extra dish. This is family after all and if it were me, I would go out of my way to NOT cause any friction if I could. No sense putting more obstacles in the way of a good relationship than has to be there already. It is not a war, just a simple dinner, one day a year.


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

When someone tells me to bring a salad-I bring a Caesar salad kit in a bag.


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## MommyHawk (Aug 4, 2006)

well, just called my MIL and asked if I could bring something else - possibly not my most eloquent moment







- and she said, "you know, no one ever eats the salad anyway...why don't you bring an appetizer AND a desert"... yeah! I get cook !







:


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamalisa* 
Yea, well so is "potted meat" and canned asparagus so wtf do you know.

What on earth is "potted meat"?


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## babygrant (Mar 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *beka1977* 
Maybe she feels fine imposing on her daughters but not on her guests (you)!









That's exactly what I was thinking.


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## Tofu the Geek (Dec 2, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyHawk* 
well, just called my MIL and asked if I could bring something else - possibly not my most eloquent moment







- and she said, "you know, no one ever eats the salad anyway...why don't you bring an appetizer AND a desert"... yeah! I get cook !







:

Sweet! Congrats! Does that mean you won't be picking up my bagged salad for me now?


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## HelloKitty (Apr 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyHawk* 
well, just called my MIL and asked if I could bring something else - possibly not my most eloquent moment







- and she said, "you know, no one ever eats the salad anyway...why don't you bring an appetizer AND a desert"... yeah! I get cook !







:

Awwwwwwww! Nice when there is a happy update.














:


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## bellabear (Oct 16, 2007)

Good for you, mama!







:mmmmmmmmmmmm good food.


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## oneKnight (Aug 4, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
What on earth is "potted meat"?

Think SPAM (the kind in a can, not in your inbox) or maybe other items similar to vienna sausages and canned ham


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## LisainCalifornia (May 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kidzaplenty* 
It could not hurt to given her the benefit of the doubt. Make a simple, but good salad as well as a simple extra dish. This is family after all and if it were me, I would go out of my way to NOT cause any friction if I could. No sense putting more obstacles in the way of a good relationship than has to be there already. *It is not a war, just a simple dinner, one day a year.*

I added the bold, because I could not agree more. I guess I don't get the hostility? You are so lucky compared to what many people are dealing with this holiday season. You have a fully prepared dinner (sans salad) and family waiting for you to celebrate with.

I personally don't find all of these "evil plans" to get back at her for inviting you to dinner and only asking for an ordinary salad funny in the least.

It is only one meal, and you can go home and cook to your heart's content the next day and make all of the foods you like. You can invite them all to your house next week and make all the food yourself to prove to them what a great cook you are. I am sure you are a fine cook, and they would love it.


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## LisainCalifornia (May 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyHawk* 
well, just called my MIL and asked if I could bring something else - possibly not my most eloquent moment







- and she said, "you know, no one ever eats the salad anyway...why don't you bring an appetizer AND a desert"... yeah! I get cook !







:

That is great. And you don't have to walk around angry anymore.

Happy Holidays.


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## artgoddess (Jun 29, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *moondiapers* 
Maybe she's worried about your great cooking skills making her dd's feel inadequate? *Or maybe tradition is really important to her and she doesn't want any of the dishes to taste different than usual*?

this would be my guess. I have my own holiday traditions for food, and my in-laws have theirs. I'm getting used to the way their food tastes, but I did really enjoy the year I did Christmas at our house.

I'd just tell her how you feel. That you are happy to bring a salad, however you are really insulted that she doesn't seem to allow you to bring anything else. and then give her a couple choices of what else you will be bringing.


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## onlyzombiecat (Aug 15, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyHawk* 
well, just called my MIL and asked if I could bring something else - possibly not my most eloquent moment







- and she said, "you know, no one ever eats the salad anyway...why don't you bring an appetizer AND a desert"... yeah! I get cook !







:

That's nice.








What are you going to make?


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## nikag (Sep 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LisainCalifornia* 
I added the bold, because I could not agree more. I guess I don't get the hostility? You are so lucky compared to what many people are dealing with this holiday season. You have a fully prepared dinner (sans salad) and family waiting for you to celebrate with.

I personally don't find all of these "evil plans" to get back at her for inviting you to dinner and only asking for an ordinary salad funny in the least.

It is only one meal, and you can go home and cook to your heart's content the next day and make all of the foods you like. You can invite them all to your house next week and make all the food yourself to prove to them what a great cook you are. I am sure you are a fine cook, and they would love it.

/chuckle


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## GranoLLLy-girl (Mar 1, 2005)

Well, I for one, just checked out your website--if you can cook as well as you can paint--you are just one amazing girl all around!

My husband had heart surgery and can't ride in a car for two months--doctor's orders--so we are home this year for Christmas and some family will come to us (this never happens)--so you can bring your wonderful meals here to us! LOL! I know I'll be the one this year that the family will complain about because the meal won't be that fancy due to all that's going on. Oh well.

Glad to hear that all turned out well--you MIL is lucky to have you.
I say post your recipes somewhere here so we can see them and get some ideas!


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## mama2mygirl (Dec 14, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cycle* 
Usually people who eat mainly things from a can or box do not like "real" food. KWIM? My brother and SIL only eat things that come from boxes or cans - they turn their noses up at anything I make and constantly make fun of my eating and cooking habits. Whatevah!

I would make the salad and bring another dish, at least you'll have something you can eat







- and don't be bothered by it at all.

I have a friend like this. She used to come over and criticize my homecooking and then invite me over for hamburger helper. It took me so long to figure out that she didn't really want homecooked food. She prefers the canned/boxed stuff.


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## nikag (Sep 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *onlyzombiecat* 
That's nice.








What are you going to make?

Yep, this is what I wanna know.

I love food talk.

I want details!!


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## crysmomofthree (Mar 18, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *moondiapers* 
I'd do this, but in a more polite way. I'd bring the salad, plus a dish that is different than what is usually there.









: THis is a great idea







and i'm with you I have passive aggressive in laws and I feel put down often when we are getting ready for family events I"ve solved that by doing what is asked of me ie: salad and doing what I would love for the holiday


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## Laggie (Nov 2, 2005)

I'm having a similar problem with my mom - she wants me to bring dessert, but DSD and my Grandma are gluten-free, so she told me not to bring a gluten free dessert because she has something for them.

I don't really get the point of the separate desserts - if I'm going to bake, I may as well make something everyone can eat, right? So I offered to make a gluten free cake instead. No. She has jello pudding parfaits or some such thing for the gluten free. Gross.

I just told her I'm bringing cheesecake. The recipe will just happen to not have wheat, I guess.


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## macheetah (Apr 24, 2007)

Laggie, on the GF dessert thing...I have similar issues.

I'm gluten-intolerant and my family of origin either doesn't believe it or doesn't care...last year we had a family and friends dinner at my parents' house where they actually put out 5-6 desserts on a table and I could not eat any of them...my BF was so affronted by this story that he went out of his way to make me GF apple crisp and cookies for the Thanksgiving dinner we all had.

Now, for our Christmas dinner, my mom was happily telling me all the things she is making and none of them are GF. When I said I wouldn't be able to eat any of it she said, annoyed, that I could "eat around" the crust on the pecan pie. Uh, no, that doesn't work out so well! So I'm sure the BF will be beside himself thinking up some outrageous GF dessert (perhaps something with flames as mentioned earlier on the thread... )

So good for you to be thinking of your GF family members, IMHO it is very nice and thoughtful to provide a dish everyone can eat, especially when it comes to dessert. PM if you want a recipe for apple crisp or pralines.


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## ma_Donna (Jan 11, 2003)

So glad to hear that you're on for an appetizer and dessert!
I agree with the theory that they don't appreciate the good cooking you do.

When my IL's first came up here to visit, at different points in the trip they brought cool whip and boxed wine into our home - I knew I wouldn't have the issues my Mom had with my Granny about never being able to cook well enough (Mom must still be traumatized since she always tries to have THE impressive dish of any occasion). Nor the problem of my SIL who has the same issue with my Mom









Anyhoo I didn't realize that cooking from scratch would be a problem for them, but I think it is. And this puzzles me since DH likes to cook from scratch. Before I met him I had no idea how easy it was to make fresh salsa.

I had some tears at our last visit with them. They left to go shopping and I started the sauce for dinner (meatballs in sauce and lasagne). I made a huge pot of sauce, roasted the garlic, fresh herbs and everything. After they got home I see MIL putting meatballs in the sauce I made - I do not eat beef - and she used jarred, full of HFCS, sauce for the lasagne.


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## Smokering (Sep 5, 2007)

Interestingly enough, quite a few traditional Christmas desserts (in NZ, at any rate) are 'naturally' gluten-free, or can be. Pavlova, meringues, ambrosia, fruit salad, ice cream, chocolate-dipped strawberries, custard... heck, even Christmas cake and Christmas pudding have quite a few gluten-free versions knocking around these days. I think making a GF cheesecake is a lovely thought.









Meringue mushrooms are cute too, and GF... just felt I should point that out.







I love 'em!


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## mama_at_home (Apr 27, 2004)

For Thanksgiving this year we were told to bring ONE can of corn.


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## AngieB (Oct 25, 2003)

If my dh had sisters I would think we where from the same family. With my IL's it's my MIL and her 3 sisters. They have the same boxed foods every year for the holidays and the same person always brings them and don't you dare try and change anything. One year (early in my marriage) I made the mistake of bringing a plate of cookies to christmas eve. Little did I know that Aunt C brings the cookies. No one but my dh would eat the cookies from my plate. Then for years at thanksgiving I would bring a great cranberry dish and every year MIL would open a can of cranberries and everyone but dh and I would only eat the canned crap.I gave up. I make the good stuff for my family and this year dh and I hosted and after thanksgiving party for our friends.


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## Nicole77 (Oct 20, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamalisa* 
One of my favorite MIL moments was the Christmas right after dd was born. My dad and I cook, the inlaws usually come here. As everyone was finishing dinner I said that I would make the whipped cream as soon as dd was done nursing and we could have dessert. My MIL got this incredulous look on her face and said, "Make whipped cream?" I said yes, and explained how I made it. Obviously it's nothing fancy, whipping cream, powdered sugar and vanilla. I swear she snorted and said, "Well Cool Whip has always been good enough for my family." Yea, well so is "potted meat" and canned asparagus so wtf do you know. So now dh calls me "The snob who makes her own whipped cream, just to show off".









Oh my, I think we must secretly share the same MIL. Mine thinks I am "fancy" and takes every opportunity to comment about it, even turning down chicken and white bean chili or plain old seared salmon with some butter and lemon while saying we know them, they don't like anything fancy. Makes me want to smack her.


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## mata (Apr 20, 2006)

*


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## mata (Apr 20, 2006)

oh, no no no-that won't do. I'd make a couple of other dishes, and present them to her saying they're my signature dishes. She's trying to keep you in a corner! and nobody puts baby in a corner.


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## nikag (Sep 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mata* 
...and nobody puts baby in a corner.









Best. Quote. Ever.


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## MommyHawk (Aug 4, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ma_Donna* 
After they got home I see MIL putting meatballs in the sauce I made - I do not eat beef - and she used jarred, full of HFCS, sauce for the lasagne.









she must not be Italian...that is soooo wrong!







:


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