# How can I convince OB to NOT induce?



## taralv (May 5, 2003)

I'm 20 weeks in my third pregnancy and I've been told that I will have to be induced (again). My first was induced at 41 weeks because they said that my amniotic fluid was too low. My second was induced on my due date because dd1 had her shoulder stuck during birth and her right clavicle was broken as a result. Ds(second birth) did not get stuck, but the OB said that he would have if she had not anticipated it and turned him accordingly. Now, the OB wants to induce me this time at 39 weeks to avoid another baby getting stuck. I understand the seriousness of that situation, but I believe that if the OB allows me to go into labor naturally, the chances of this happening would be the same anyway. FYI, my daughter was 7lbs3oz at 41weeks and my son was 7lbs9oz on his due date. So, is it safe to go into labor naturally? I don't want to be induced again because I do labor naturally and the pain with induction is almost unbearable. I would really like to have a better birth experience this time. Sorry this turned into a medical journal article - too much detail. Any feedback would be appreciated.


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## luckymamato2 (Jun 3, 2006)

The easiest way is to not show up for your induction. Avoid their phone calls when they call looking for you.

OR

Show him/her that you've done your homework and believe that the situation will not happen again. Complain about the painful inductions you've had. You can also prepare your mind/body for labor by doing yoga or perineal massage, hypnobirthing, etc.


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## Rachael Cail (Jun 24, 2007)

Hey, it's so hard reading stories like this. Tara, this is YOUR birth. You can decline an induction, which given your situation is entirely reasonable. Frankly, sounds like you have an induction-happy o.b. I know it can be very hard to stand your ground with doctors - do you have, or have you considered having a doula? Also, know that it is never too late to change care providers if you do not trust the one you're with. I'm in Georgia too, actually - if you need ANY help with resources, info., etc., please let me know; I'm a doula and know lots of CB educators and other birth professionals.


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## Romana (Mar 3, 2006)

Well, you have a couple of options. One is to switch healthcare providers, either to a different OB, to a family practitioner (usually, but not always, more naturally-minded), or to a midwife. Another option is simply to remember that no doctor can force you to have an induction. You can be discharged from care earlier in the pregnancy, but if you get to the end of the pregnancy with an OB and you refuse or don't show up for your induction, he or she can't drop you from care at that point.

I think the best option is to find a new doctor or other HCP. Someone who will support your desire for a natural birth.

In terms of how safe it is for you to labor naturally or deliver vaginally, that's something that requires a little more research. Women who've experienced a prior shoulder dystocia are more likely to see it again. However, you said your births were induced. That makes me wonder if you gave birth in an upright position or not. Birthing upright opens the pelvic outlet and can reduce the chances of a stuck baby. Also, your doctor may not use the gaskin maneuver, which is basically just having a mama with a stuck baby flip over in order to free the baby. In most cases, this is all that's necessary, but many OBs are unaware of the techniqure or are unwilling to try it (or it's impossible because the mama has had an epidural). I think ultimately only you can decide which risks you're more comfortable with, but if you decide you'd rather labor naturally and avoid the induction, find a HCP who will be supportive of that decision.

Also, someone correct me if I'm wrong, but can't induction actually lead to stuck babies because they're more likely to end up malpositioned during an induction? Not sure about that one or if it applies to a shoulder dystocia situation.


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## Rachael Cail (Jun 24, 2007)

Oh, you're not in Georgia


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Just say no. Were you pushing on your back when the baby got "stuck"?

-Angela


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## DoomaYula (Aug 22, 2006)

An Ob who has induced you twice and is already talking about it at only 20w, doesn't sound like a good provider to me. Also, first time was 41w, then 40w, now he wants to do it at 39w? Jeez, will he suggest your next baby be induced at 35w????







:

Personally, I'd find a new provider.

Or

Get some EVIDENCED-based info on induction, sticky shoulders, and present it to your Ob. And then be prepared for him telling you that you're going to kill your baby and all kinds of other nonsense.


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## sweeetpea (Jun 14, 2006)

I agree with the pp's - You appear to have a very-medically minded CYA OB. You might be much better off with another provider who actually practices evidence based care.

Where in VA are you? I might be able to point you to some resources. PM me if you prefer.

sweetpea


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## katheek77 (Mar 13, 2007)

Well, honestly, while a broken clavicle doesn't sound like fun, it also isn't life-threatening.

I know that sounds harsh, but, what I mean is, the risks of induction are more than I'd be willing to risk to avoid a possibly broken clavicle. I would think that once labor is progressing, they will be able to tell if the baby is "stuck" or not, and, if intervention *is* necessary, do it then (I don't think intervention is necessary, but, worst case scenario)...why induce? That's what's getting me...how will inducing prevent the baby not being turned correctly? Your OB has even said that your son avoided it because he "turned him correctly"...well, just tell him to turn this next baby correctly.









I had early dilation and bleeding (no cause determined), and the ob was pushing at 37 weeks (!!!!) for an induction. I just kept saying that when they could show me that the baby was in obvious fetal distress they were welcome to slice me open in the office, but, until then, I'd wait to go into labor naturally. I gave birth (no induction) at 41 w 1 d.

FWIW, my mom had a broken clavicle at birth (natural) and she was under six pounds (but late!). She has never had problems from it.


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## mommyminer (Aug 20, 2006)

Sounds to me like you had a true should dystocia during your first birth - which does statistically increase your chance of having another baby with a shoulder dystocia. Although a broken clavicle may not be life threatening - the situation from which it arose (sd) is life threatening.

You can do a lot to avoid a shoulder dystocia though - such as avoiding an epidural and listening to your body during labor and birth. During an induced labor, this is much more difficult to do since you are continously monitored which restricts mobility.

I would focus on educating myself about shoulder dystocia and natural birth. I also would find a different OB. Yes you can not show up for an induction - and you do have patient rights, but fighting for what you want during labor releases stress hormones which counteract your birthing ability. Why not find a supportive HCP?


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommyminer* 
Sounds to me like you had a true should dystocia during your first birth - which does statistically increase your chance of having another baby with a shoulder dystocia.

IMO it's not dystocia if mom was on her back and no position change was tried.

-Angela


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## pamamidwife (May 7, 2003)

Wow, an extra two or three weeks isn't going to reduce the risk of shoulder dystocia. In fact, half of all shoulder dystocias are babies under 8lbs.

I don't think you should assume it's your responsibility to convince your doctor of anything. In fact, the fact that you had a hospital birth and was likely on your back played into the shoulder dystocia issue.

Induction increases your risk of cesarean section. I'm surprised your doc isn't talking about doing that instead of inducing.









My advice? Get thee to a homebirth midwife - or at least a family practice doc or nurse-midwife. You need some better, more research-based care!


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## pamamidwife (May 7, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alegna* 
IMO it's not dystocia if mom was on her back and no position change was tried.

-Angela

Actually, I think most dystocias are *caused* by mom being on her tailbone - it decreases the pelvic outlet greatly and doesn't foster baby's natural ability to rotate down through the pelvis.

And most women in hospitals cannot change position because 1) they have epidurals; 2) they are on the most *ridiculous* narrow beds; 3) their providers don't understand the mechanics of shoulder dystocia and would rather cut an episiotomy and have the vagina right in front of them upright than to have the woman move into another position, precariously so with a baby's head out of her.

We cannot say for sure if it was a true shoulder dystocia based on the fact that we weren't there, but with a broken clavicle, it sounds likely.


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## LoveChild421 (Sep 10, 2004)

yep, I'd fire them, find a midwife (homebirth or hospital based, your choice) instead. OBs just don't understand birth. They understand how to scare you into doing things that are convenient for them but are not in your best interest.

Always remember one thing, they work for you- you pay their salary. They have no business telling you what they will "allow you" to do, a quality birth attendant will empower you to make your own choices and always remind you that they are indeed YOUR choices to make.

I would think that inducing would cause a baby to be more likely to get stuck or malpositioned- those last few weeks it seems like the baby always gets into a better position for birth and with a natural labor if the baby isn't in a favorable position, contractions won't be as productive until you move around and the baby wiggles into a better position. And definately, as pp have said, giving birth on your back is the worst of all positions when it comes to babies getting stuck.


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## yarngoddess (Dec 27, 2006)

I would schedule a Meeting with your doctor, not an OB visit with the peeing and weight, but a sit in you office and talk meeting. I would tell Doc your concerns, and tell Him/er that you are not comfortable with this plan, and that you have no intention to be at a scheduled induction. I would have some documentiation handy, and stick to your guns. Contact Doula's in your area, and see if you can afford one- if not still contact them and tell them that you really need help and that you can only pay X ammount.

How is your OB going to understand you if you don't talk to Him/er. They need to know why you are unhappy, and if things don't work out then they will know the reason. Don't let the medical community become your decision makers. Make your own decision that is right for your family, and stick to your guns.

Keep us posted also!!









*Blessings*


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## hipmummy (May 25, 2007)

Just say NO!


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## applejuice (Oct 8, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pamamidwife* 
My advice? Get thee to a homebirth midwife - or at least a family practice doc or nurse-midwife. You need some better, more research-based care!

Precisely. Forget what your insurance pays for and get a decent hcp if you do not want another induction.


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## pampered_mom (Mar 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *taralv* 
Now, the OB wants to induce me this time at 39 weeks to avoid another baby getting stuck. I understand the seriousness of that situation, but I believe that if the OB allows me to go into labor naturally, the chances of this happening would be the same anyway.

First off, the OB doesn't "allow" you to do anything. It's your body, your baby, and you are the one who does the allowing.

Secondly, I wouldn't even try to convince an OB not to do anything. I just wouldn't agree to the induction and if for whatever reason they ended up scheduling it, I wouldn't show up (just like I would do in the case of a schedule c/s).

Third, are they that sure of your dates that they know if they induce at 39 weeks that there's *no* chance that your baby will be premature?

Above all, I agree with the pps - it's time to find a different CP. There are other options out there and you're early enough in your pregnancy that you've got some time to start looking.


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## SublimeBirthGirl (Sep 9, 2005)

Find an OB or midwife who recognizes the fact that you're an adult capable of making your own health care decisions. Is he the one pushing a baby out of his vagina? If not, whether to induce or not is not his choice. Do what you want to do.


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## huggerwocky (Jun 21, 2004)

Say no and don't go for the appointment.


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## MilkTrance (Jul 21, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *luckymamato2* 
The easiest way is to not show up for your induction. Avoid their phone calls when they call looking for you.









:

Wish I'd done that, honest-to-God.


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## siennasmom (Mar 14, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *katheek77* 
Well, honestly, while a broken clavicle doesn't sound like fun, it also isn't life-threatening.

No, but it's not how I would want my baby to come into the world, either. I've never broken a bone, but I'm sure it hurts. Probably really a lot. If an induction spares the baby that pain, I would take the induction. I know that most here wouldn't, but I would.


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## Maluhia (Jun 24, 2007)

IF you want to keep this UCV Care Provider - I'd schedule a clothing-on in-office-not-exam-room meeting and show up informed and talk about what you DO want and what you WON'T consent to.

Although I might want to I would not ignore the subject and not show up for an induction - what if they tried a CPS type thing?

I'd tell them my intentions and if they won't "let" me make my own informed medical choices I'd find another CP.


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## SublimeBirthGirl (Sep 9, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *siennasmom* 
No, but it's not how I would want my baby to come into the world, either. I've never broken a bone, but I'm sure it hurts. Probably really a lot. If an induction spares the baby that pain, I would take the induction. I know that most here wouldn't, but I would.

An induction is not going to prevent a broken clavicle. A skilled midwife, freedom to move about and instinctive pushing (or not pushing) will spare a baby a broken clavicle.


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## katheek77 (Mar 13, 2007)

That was my point, exactly. All an induction will do is get a baby going along, against his/her will, before s/he is ready to be born. If baby isn't turned correctly, or whatever (which is what the OP stated in her original post), then, induction isn't going to prevent it.

Were Baby to truly become stuck, THEN intervention could be done. Assuming baby will be stuck is illogical to me...they told me my baby would come "early" based on my dilation...she was 8 days late.

OBs are not God.


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## laohaire (Nov 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *siennasmom* 
No, but it's not how I would want my baby to come into the world, either. I've never broken a bone, but I'm sure it hurts. Probably really a lot. If an induction spares the baby that pain, I would take the induction. I know that most here wouldn't, but I would.

Me too, I would induce IF I thought there was any way in heck it would decrease the odds of this highly stressful and painful way for my baby to come into the world.

But, yeah, I wouldn't really do it because induction doesn't make sense.

I would rather find a midwife or even an OB familiar with the Gaskin manuver.


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## LoveChild421 (Sep 10, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SublimeBirthGirl* 
An induction is not going to prevent a broken clavicle. A skilled midwife, freedom to move about and instinctive pushing (or not pushing) will spare a baby a broken clavicle.

Exactly. I would love to hear the circumstances of the OP's first 2 births- I am willing to bet she gave birth on her back- which decreases the pelvic outlet by at least 33%. Giving birth upright (squatting, on all fours, etc) opens the pelvis and is the best way to decrease the odds of shoulder dystocia, not induction.


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## triscuitsmom (Jan 11, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *siennasmom* 
No, but it's not how I would want my baby to come into the world, either. I've never broken a bone, but I'm sure it hurts. Probably really a lot. If an induction spares the baby that pain, I would take the induction. I know that most here wouldn't, but I would.

OK... but an induction increases your childs risks of having a traumatic birth experience overall, including a possible c-section which is not good for him/her in any way (providing there is no reason other than a failed induction that wasn't needed necessarily in the first place).

Why risk all of the potential complications when 2-3 weeks is likely to not make any difference for dystocia anyway if you are wanting to spare your baby pain/trauma?

I'm hoping you find the best solution for you and your babe. Sounds like time for a change in care providers, or at least getting a doula (and refusing the induction) IMO.


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## taralv (May 5, 2003)

Thanks everyone for your replies. Sorry I have been mia from my own post - busy week. Anyway, I am trying to look for another provider. We are in a sort of rural area that makes it almost inevitable that we will have to travel, but I found a midwife practice that births in a birthing center in a hospital. The midwife I spoke with said that she would also induce me due to the shoulder dystocia. I also found a group of midwives that birth at home, and I have been trying to get a hold of them to get an appointment, but they only have office hours on WED and FRI so we have played some phone tag. I spoke briefly with one of the midwives and she said that she would need more information but did not think that I should be induced. However, dh is very opposed to homebirth. He hears an OB saying induction is necessary and he believes it. Period. I'm working on that. I've actually had three different OBs in different states because we have moved so much in the last 6 years. New Mexico, Oregon and now Virginia. So, the OB I have now is not the one who delivered dd or ds, hope that clears up that misunderstanding. And I did labor on my back in a hospital bed, but that was mosty because the pain of labor is so overwhelming for me that by the end I just don't have the energy to get up on all fours and turn over. I've seen women do that on shows that show natural labor, and I have always wondered how they had the strength. I labor on my side, focused entirely on relaxing my body so that I don't clench up with the pain of the contractions until my body just basically starts to push by itself and then I guess I've always just rolled onto my back and started pushing. Anyway, I think I will start with having the in office conversation with the current OB and go from there. Thanks again for all of your input.

Tara


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## aylaanne (Mar 7, 2007)

Tara,

I'd also look into spinningbabies.com to see about what you can do NOW, prenatally, to help get and keep your baby in an optimal position for birth. I would NOT consent to an induction, because inducing increases the risk that your baby will be malpositioned. Look into laboring in the water, I hear that being in water helps you to relax because it doesn't force you to deal with gravity plus the hard work you're doing, and it will help you in being upright as much as possible, and to move as the baby needs you to move. You also sound like a great candidate for water birth for the same reason.

Also, work with your DH to help him learn about options in pregnancy and childbirth. You'll need him on board with whatever decisions you make when you're in labor. If something does go wrong, heaven forbid, you need him to be supportive of the choices you've decided on prenatally. Birth is NOT the time to have a difference of opinion.

Good luck and KUP.


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## laohaire (Nov 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *taralv* 
And I did labor on my back in a hospital bed, but that was mosty because the pain of labor is so overwhelming for me that by the end I just don't have the energy to get up on all fours and turn over. I've seen women do that on shows that show natural labor, and I have always wondered how they had the strength.

This to me is one of the biggest benefits of birthing pools! I labored and delivered in a pool (at home) and I also wonder how women have the strength to get into all these positions during the HARD labor of birthing. With water, you are nearly weightless. I found it easy to get into, or change, or stay in any number of positions while I was in the water - some which would be just IMPOSSIBLE out of the water.

I highly recommend you look into this, especially with the history of SD. A birthing tub could really make a difference for you, making it easy to open your pelvis with less effort.


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## RachelGS (Sep 29, 2002)

I wouldn't stick with an OB who needed to be "convinced." No kidding. You've handed over a lot of power, there, talking about what you need to convince him of and what he will allow you to do. Reclaim your birth. Remember that you are the one who is growing this baby, that you are the one who will do the work of getting the baby out into the world. Take control. Remember you are in charge.


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## Kitten (Jan 10, 2005)

Someone on here once posted a link to a chiropractor's website who recommends pushing while lying on your side as being at least as good as pushing while kneeling/crouching/on all fours/whatever upright method you can think of. He says it opens up your birth canal at least as much as squatting. So if you feel like you need to labor while lying down at the end of your labor, this is OK! Instead of rolling onto your back, stay on your side and either hold your leg up yourself or have someone hold it for you.

This is what I did by instinct and it worked great for me. I was really tired and wanted to stay lying down on my side. I was too tired to move at all, I didn't want anyone touching me either. I just stayed on my side and held my upper leg up by my head. I think I wrapped my arm around my leg and held my leg by my knee, if that makes sense. Then between contractions and when I wanted to rest, I just dropped my leg back down again.

Maybe someone here has the link to that article.


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## gratefulmama2isaac (Sep 15, 2007)

Tara, Would your dh be open to doing some reading? If so, Marsden Wagner's "Born in the USA" will open his eyes, if anything will. By a doctor, against doctors. That's a huge simplification of his position, but he presents a compelling case, all evidence-based, so it appeals to mainstream and "worried dads".


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## taralv (May 5, 2003)

Thanks for these suggestions. I spoke with a midwife in the area who delivers at home yesterday, and she helped me so much in terms of my confidence level and not allowing induction. She also talked about baby spinning and excercises that I can do to get the baby in a better position. I have spoken with our insurance, and they will not cover any expenses incurred with midwife svcs or homebirth, and the expense of the service is too much for us to do out of pocket. So now I just feel like I have to tell my OB that we will not induce. Since we are an hour away from the hospital, and I'm due in January (we have snowy/icy winters) the OB also felt that induction would save me from having to drive to the hospital in labor. To me this is another reason to have a midwife come to my home, but it seems out of the question. I am frustrated with this whole thing. I feel like everyone around me has these logical reasons for inducing this labor, and I am the only one opposed. Of course, I am the one having the baby so that should make my vote the only one that counts but I am drowning in a sea of "this is the only way"s. Okay, thanks for letting me vent.

Tara


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## TanyaS (Jun 24, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *taralv* 
And I did labor on my back in a hospital bed, but that was mostly because the pain of labor is so overwhelming for me that by the end I just don't have the energy to get up on all fours and turn over. I've seen women do that on shows that show natural labor, and I have always wondered how they had the strength.

Induced labor is often much more intense than natural labor. This is why you see women have the energy to turn over or otherwise move during labor. They are not stricken by unnatural contractions. Induction makes a significant difference in the amount of pain a woman has during labor.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *taralv* 
I feel like everyone around me has these logical reasons for inducing this labor, and I am the only one opposed. Of course, I am the one having the baby so that should make my vote the only one that counts but I am drowning in a sea of "this is the only way"s.

But you're the only one with logical reasons! None of the reasons for induction are compelling or even logical. I highly recommend focusing on getting your baby in a good position now and not pushing on your back. You do not have to convince your OB of anything, but you may have to stand strong as he tries to change your mind. Imo, having an induction because you're due in the winter and it could by icy is just one way he's already trying to convince you. And he has 20 more weeks to keep trying.







It's not an easy situation when the birth climate is so hostile. Can you look into a loan for to pay for the midwife? I did that with no regrets. If you decide to go ahead with the hospital birth, then I highly recommend a doula to help you during labor. A good doula will have you move and keep you from staying in a position that could contribute to a malpositioned baby.


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## laohaire (Nov 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TanyaS* 
Can you look into a loan for to pay for the midwife? I did that with no regrets.

I second that. The list of things I would sacrifice to make sure that my baby and I emerge from our birthing experience whole, physically and emotionally, is quite large. I would skip Christmas presents and vacations, downgrade my car, cancel my Netflix subscription, stop buying clothes, music and DVDs, turn my heat down this winter, you get the idea. I know my DH would also get a second job for it - it's just too important and the other stuff just isn't.

If my DH had to have major surgery and we had to choose between a vet with a poor repuation and an experienced people-surgeon, we'd do the same! I would never want to put my husband in jeopardy with some knife-happy maniac who doesn't understand the body he (or she) is working on for a couple thousand bucks or so. Sure, it's a lot of money, but it's one of the few things that is WORTH it.


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## gratefulmama2isaac (Sep 15, 2007)

Tara, it sounds like you found the midwife for you. If you really want a home birth, most midwives will work with you, perhaps a payment plan or barter. There is always a way; can you think of anything more important to spend money on than your child's birth? Also, staying with this ob will be stressful for you, it sounds like. You can always change things before birth . . .not after. Listen to yourself; you and only you know what is right for your baby and your family. And I can definitely relate to that bad feeling of negative info coming in; it's something no pregnant woman should have to feel, but sadly, so many do.


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## eucalyptusleaves (Feb 5, 2007)

I think the best advice I have is to find a provider that you're comfortable with.


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## eucalyptusleaves (Feb 5, 2007)

Oops, I didn't see the update about the midwife. She sounds great! Did you talk to her at all about payments? See if she will work with you at all, midwives are usually great. I don't think you should feel forced into anything with your OB.


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## Jimibell (Feb 18, 2003)

wow, great, supportive posts from everyone (almost)....

tara,

I also think you should go with a care-provider who supports your choices. This is the most important day in your baby's life and one of the most important days in your life. If you are already in disagreement with your provider it sounds like it will only get worse.

Ask him to get his story straight, is it the SD or is it the ice?!! The ice is an absolutely embarrassingly ridiculous reason to induce!!! Last year it was 70 degrees on my dd's January bday in NJ!

I would also speak with your dh. It sounds like you are open to the idea of hb but are seeing some obstacles. If you really want it then you can make it happen. Life is a series of choices. Right now you are faced with a choice. You know that the induction is risky, uncomfortable and not necessary. You know that it will not guarantee no SD (obviously from your past experience). To me the logic is so compelling it's not even worth arguing over. If the past 2 babies were induced and 1 of them had SD, it's kind of like, duh, doc!!

Have dh read before he makes a decision about your body! And find that money. Because if your choice is to be miserable and argue and stressed out with your doctor OR be happy and confident and respected by your midwife, that's also a no-brainer and your dh should recognize that and support you. Go back and read your posts. There is a huge difference in tone from your first posts to the one after you met the mw. It is your job to protect your baby, you know this, you're already a mom.

And wow, major kudos to you for birthing without pain meds after being induced!!! hb will be a million times better of an experience!!

Also, check out www.motherfriendly.org. This will give you guidelines for finding a mother-friendly care-giver who respects you and the natural birthing process. See how your doc measures up. These guidelines were written by people who really CARE and they are committed to evidence-based practices. And they have been endorsed by many organizations, professionals and individuals. Show that to your dh too.


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## Maggi315 (Aug 31, 2003)

You cant. Sorry, but the truth is that you can only have as good medical care as your provider. And you are going to spend the next 20 weeks worrying, stressing, arguing, and in general having a high stress negative environment for your pregnancy.

you need another provider. you need a midwife and probably a homebirth. Consider all the factors, drive if you must, whatever. but don't think you will change their minds, they have made up their minds already.

i have seen this too many times when i worked in the hospital and as a doula. Which is why I am a homebirth midwife. People expect to be able to change minds, make new policies, "talk" to their providers into doing things outside their normal realm, and believe me, whatever they might tell you, in the end they do what they want to anyway.

Sorry that I have no good advice. I do think it's generally unhealthy for you and the baby to be in a negative energy environment for your pregnancy and labor so I hope you find whatever is necessary to change that environment.

come up to PA, we'll take you!!!


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## taralv (May 5, 2003)

Well, I am now in the process of finding another provider. I am frustrated because I feel the same way as most of you that I would rather take out a loan or set up a payment play and have a homebirth with a women that I trust, but dh feels differently. He feels like if we have insurance that covers birth we have to use it and not using it is just ridiculous in his opinion. Now, I'm trying to find a compromise and I've been married to him long enough to know when he will not budge on something. But I feel good about making a change in provider. I'm looking around close to home so that I can go into labor when I go into labor, period. At least I feel confident in that decision, and I owe in large part to all the responses I received on this thread, so thank you.

Tara


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## anne1006 (Jul 1, 2007)

I understand your pain! I was induced....one thing led to another and long story short- it was a traumatic birth witha 4th degree tear and they said I "Had" to have a c-section next time. I switched providers and went to hospital based midwives and they said maybe c-section too. I wasn't convinced because I felt that the interventions caused the distocia and tear....not the baby.
I didn't think homebirth was an option, but lots of research later I convinced DH and my family is coming around too. One thing that really changed his mind was setting up the interview with the midwife and letting him ask questions. After that he told me whatever I want.
She is gonna run the bill through our insurance and we hope they cover some, but they say they don't. But, in her experience, just because they say they don't doesn't actually mean they don't. She said a lot of times they will cover at least part of it. Either way, I'll sell a kidney if I have to in order to avoid another terrible birth! Keep researching and looking for that good provider!


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## gratefulmama2isaac (Sep 15, 2007)

Tara, please keep us updated; I always check your thread now. Yay, you!







Keep doing what feels to you to be the next right step. Birth is SUCH an amazing time in that women are never more vulnerable and never stronger than they are during labor and birth. Above all, you need to feel safe and supported.


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## Maggi315 (Aug 31, 2003)

Good luck! I understand that you don't want to disagree with your husband and feel he won't budge...but please keep in mind, it's your body and your birth. Sure, it's important for him too, but it's totally not the same thing. You are the one who will be left with the scars, the emotional baggage,etc. if things go wrong. Men just don't have the same feelings about the whole issue usually.

My husband wasn't thrilled about our last birth at home with lots of people in a birth pool (even though i am a homebirth midwife, for gods sakes), but really, I listened to his opinion and then realized this was my journey to walk, and I had to stand up for my body, my baby, my birth.

keep us updated...


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## georgia (Jan 12, 2003)

Please keep us updated. For me, thinking in big-picture terms of the number of births I will have in my lifetime, I believe I deserve the birth type/location/experience/etc *I* envision, not just what insurance pays for or what someone else wants _for_ me based out of fear, misunderstanding of my needs, etc.

My thoughts are with you...please keep us updated as you can!


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## taralv (May 5, 2003)

Well, here's the update on the situation. I have changed to an OBGYN much closer to my home. I had a consult with him yesterday, and before I even had a chance to go into my situation he told me that he "loathes inductions". Of course that was such a relief for me. Then he took me on a tour of the hospital's birth center, which is a really small part of a really small hospital in a - you guessed it - small town. I was happy with it because the nurses were very friendly, very open to just allowing women to birth and hold their babies with no interference. I guess because it's not a big hospital they feel more comfortable relaxing some of the practices that you find in a big bureaucratic nightmare of a busy maternity ward. So, although it's not my ideal, I like the OB, I will be able to go into labor when my body is ready, and the hospital is 5 minutes away. I feel hopeful. I also wanted to say that I looked at the website spinningbabies.com, and I was relieved to read the information there, so thank you for that suggestion. I feel confident that if I have to print out some of the many articles that I've read concerning the fact that induction does not prevent dystocia, and in some cases actually causes it, I will do that. But I don't think it will be necessary as this OB doesn't believe in induction. So, we'll see.

Tara


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## SublimeBirthGirl (Sep 9, 2005)

If my husband decided to lay down the law about something *I* had to experience, work *I* had to do, he'd be in deep sh...uh, you know. He wouldn't have to worry about ever DECIDING my birth place FOR me again, because he'd be lucky to ever have sex again. I say this every time this comes up but I just can't imagine being married to someone who thinks it's his place to determine a woman's BIRTH PLACE. It's insanity.


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## aikigypsy (Jun 17, 2007)

I've also chosen a small-town hospital over an urban teaching hospital with a "great reputation," but there were other factors for me, like being close to family and having to move before the birth anyway. You'll also get better continuity of care at the small hospital, and the nurses will know who you are, and vice versa, you won't be seeing a different person every 5 minutes. So it sounds like a good compromise to me.


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