# My head almost exploded the other day at the dr's office



## MommyJoia (Oct 31, 2007)

there was a woman with her 4 day old baby in a bucket, no problem, right? she claimed she couldn't unlatch the bucket from the base, so she buckles in the base, still attached to the bucket, with the baby in it every time they leave the home. AND! the baby was not properly buckled in, the straps were so loose she could (and did) literally take the baby in and out of the bucket without opening the seat belts.

I showed her how to unlatch the bucket from the base and explained to her how to tighten the straps and told her that even though she has already had the seat inspected (so she said), she needed to install the base again and have it all inspected again.

She looked at me like I was a crazy lady, she was like, "no, I don't want to tighten the straps, the baby would be uncomfortable" she was like, "I already had it inspected and they said it was fine" I answered, well, yeah, but now you have uninstalled it" She seriously thought I was a lunatic. I hope to god she never gets in even the tiniest accident or that baby is going to go flying.

Oh, and one of my 4 year old DD's classmate's dad lets him ride in the front seat of a car with a perfectly good back seat...


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## caro113 (Aug 25, 2008)

I saw a woman with a mini van at the bookstore last week. Six or seven year old in the front seat. And over the summer, I saw a woman riding in the back seat of a car, smoking out the window. A three year old was IN her lap, no seat belt or anything. And she was practically smoking into the child's face. Ugh. Where are cops when you need them?

I feel for you. I always want to stop these people and ask if they want to kill their child, because that's essentially what they're doing.


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## mrs*kewpie*pie (Mar 1, 2009)

i see it allthe time at work at the drive thru. i want to get some brochures or something to give out....

in fact i justfound a link to a one sheet flyer here

http://www.nhtsa.dot.gov/portal/site...0811060008a0c/

and i'm going to go to the library tomorrow and print it out and then make copies at work


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## Phantaja (Oct 10, 2006)

I wonder why she used the base at all then. Correct me if I'm wrong, it's been many moons since I had a baby around, but you can still use those things without the base, can't you? I thought that the base was for convenience.


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## NaturalMindedMomma (Feb 5, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Phantaja* 
I wonder why she used the base at all then. Correct me if I'm wrong, it's been many moons since I had a baby around, but you can still use those things without the base, can't you? I thought that the base was for convenience.

I believe they aren't as safe without the base. I could be wrong though?


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## mysticmomma (Feb 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *caro113* 
I saw a woman with a mini van at the bookstore last week. Six or seven year old in the front seat. And over the summer, I saw a woman riding in the back seat of a car, smoking out the window. A three year old was IN her lap, no seat belt or anything. And she was practically smoking into the child's face. Ugh. Where are cops when you need them?

I feel for you. I always want to stop these people and ask if they want to kill their child, because that's essentially what they're doing.

I have a friend with a minivan that had a busted seat belt in the back for awhile. She had her oldest son who looks 6 but is 8 or 9 in the front with the seat pushed all the way back. That's obviously safer than no seat belt.


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## queenjane (May 17, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NaturalMindedMomma* 
I believe they aren't as safe without the base. I could be wrong though?

You can use the infant seat WITH or WITHOUT the base, but you can't install it the way the mom in the OP was trying to install it. You either buckle the base in first, then click the seat into the base...or remove the base completely and do not use it, and simply use the seatbelt with the baseless seat. But you arent supposed to buckle it all in with the base. The base is designed to stay in the car.

Katherine


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## 3pink1blue (Jun 23, 2008)

and some seats can only be installed with the base. THe one I am thinking of is the Evenflo Embrace.

I see this stuff all the time at DD's preschool. not only are the rpeschoolers not in boosters (state law, never mind safety) but their little siblings are turned FF as soon as humanly possible.


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## MommyJoia (Oct 31, 2007)

Actually this car seat had a belt path to use without the base. I told her if she really couldn't figure out how to unlatch the seat from the base, then she should just have it inspected and leave it in the car all the time and only use it as a car seat:meaning, carry her child in arms instead of that clunky bucket. She said it was easier this way. I guess in the 4 days she had it all figured out.

I was really nice about it, really nice even though my head was exploding on the inside. I can sometimes be condescending, but I really wanted her to listen to me, so I was very careful to be super nice, as if I was trying to help (which I really am)...

I'm sure it all went on deaf ears....


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## an_aurora (Jun 2, 2006)

One of the nurses at the hospitals tells the parents that if your car flips over you want the straps holding the baby in. The other day she had some parents who didn't want to tighten the straps so she explained that and said, jokingly, "oh should we try it out?" and they tightened them right up


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## caro113 (Aug 25, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mysticmomma* 
I have a friend with a minivan that had a busted seat belt in the back for awhile. She had her oldest son who looks 6 but is 8 or 9 in the front with the seat pushed all the way back. That's obviously safer than no seat belt.

There were other children in the back. I remember making the statement that if she had others in the back, she could have that one in the back too. I totally understand though if the seat belt is busted it's much safer to have them in the front with a seat belt. But I highly doubt that was the case with this mother.

On a side note, one of my dad's cars doesn't even have seat belts in the back seat, so it never really mattered where I sat. At least in the front I had a seat belt. And those laws in place because of air bags I believe. Since his car also doesn't have air bags, it really doesn't matter







but that's a completely different case, especially since he hardly ever uses that car.


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## IlluminatedAttic (Aug 25, 2006)

One preschool I worked at had to close the parking lot for a month to have it reconstructed. We had to change the pick-up procedure so that the parents formed a line of cars in front of the school and we teachers delivered children to them. By the third day the entire staff agreed that all the inconvenience was a blessing in disguise because there were so many parents in violation of even the basic laws and safety regulations. We sent at least a dozen parents home to retrieve car seats the first day, for a school with a daily enrollment of less than 40 kids! One parent of a three year old had to go buy a seat - at first she was just going to arrange for a friend with two seats to pick-up her son each day but the director stood firm and stated that she was mandated to report the issue to the police. We had a dad show up in a two seat sports car (maybe a Porsce?) with no car seat. He threatened to sue us for not giving him his 3 yr old child! From what the child said, rides in daddy's car were a regular treat. Then there was the child that we discovered often road in a makeshift bed in the hatchback of his parents car because, "He gets tired at school and like to nap on the way home".









(I have to admit here that as a child on looong trips to visit family I rode in a makeshift bed on the top of the luggage in the back of a blazer, but that was waaaaay before any regulations or the practice of carseats had become common.)


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## just_lily (Feb 29, 2008)

That had to have been really frustrating.

I really don't get people's resistance to using proper carseats. It just doesn't make sense to me. I understand other parenting differences like CIO and time outs and whatever, but this is about keeping your child alive. And it isn't just about education.... a lot of people know better and they still don't care.

A set of our friends recently turned their 16mo forward facing because "they are in the car a lot"







: and I very nearly lost my mind. I tried to calmly explain the benefits of ERF and my DF said we would be keeping our daugther RF in her True Fit until she is 35lbs, but they had no interest. I have to admit that I have had no interest in even being around them since this happened.

But, like a PP mentioned, we used to ride around without even seatbelts all the time when we were kids. I used to take naps in the back of our big van, or we would even sit on lawn chairs back there! I could say "I never used a car seat and I was fine" but that doesn't tell the whole story. The only reason I survived to adulthood is because we were never in an accident. If we had been, I probably would be dead.


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## 2cutiekitties (Dec 3, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mrs*kewpie*pie* 
i see it allthe time at work at the drive thru.


Hmm. I have done this. Fussy baby, long line. I would have taken him out, give him a little love. Of course hubby was driving and I am in the back seat.


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## an_aurora (Jun 2, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2cutiekitties* 
Hmm. I have done this. Fussy baby, long line. I would have taken him out, give him a little love. Of course hubby was driving and I am in the back seat.

Even I, the ultimate car seat freak, have nursed my DDs in the drive through line when they were too young to be able to wait to eat.


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## bmcneal (Nov 12, 2006)

I took DS out of his carseat the other day while we were in the drivethrough.














: We were right at the window, and we were planning on parking right then to eat and for me to feed him. Otherwise, I wouldn't have done it.

OP, that's just silly.


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## claddaghmom (May 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *an_aurora* 
Even I, the ultimate car seat freak, have nursed my DDs in the drive through line when they were too young to be able to wait to eat.

See I'm scared to do this b/c inevitably someone will think I was driving that way.









We keep going to the same Taco Bell on DH's lunch. Argh I just keep forgetting how carpy it is. So we sit for 10 minutes w/ DD hollering her head off.

We just go so rarely that I forget by the time we go again lol.


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## Ironica (Sep 11, 2005)

I can totally see getting the baby out of the carseat in the drive-thru line. But... baby and I would just wait outside the car, in that case!


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## SaraLe6 (Mar 4, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2cutiekitties* 
Hmm. I have done this. Fussy baby, long line. I would have taken him out, give him a little love. Of course hubby was driving and I am in the back seat.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *an_aurora* 
Even I, the ultimate car seat freak, have nursed my DDs in the drive through line when they were too young to be able to wait to eat.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *bmcneal* 
I took DS out of his carseat the other day while we were in the drivethrough.














: We were right at the window, and we were planning on parking right then to eat and for me to feed him. Otherwise, I wouldn't have done it.

OP, that's just silly.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *claddaghmom* 
See I'm scared to do this b/c inevitably someone will think I was driving that way.









Probably it's different in every state, but here in Oregon, if the child is out of the carseat or even just not buckled and the car is running (even if it's not moving), you can get fined if a police officer sees it. The same goes for adults.


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## burke-a-bee (Jan 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SaraLe6* 
Probably it's different in every state, but here in Oregon, if the child is out of the carseat or even just not buckled and the car is running (even if it's not moving), you can get fined if a police officer sees it. The same goes for adults.

I had a police office watch me take my son out of his careseat while I was waiting in line. He waited until the car moved and then gave me a ticket.


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## myfairbabies (Jun 4, 2006)

I have a friend that recently was stopped in the drive-thru line at McDonald's and some idiot came peeling around the corner and smashed into her. The car was going so fast that her car hit the one in front of her, she hit her head on the window that resulted in a bruise the size of a small plate on her face/scalp (along with seat belt bruises), and her baby cut his neck on his car seat strap. I never would have thought it was possible that someone would be so dumb to hit a car that bad in a drive-thru. I'm glad the baby wasn't hurt too bad, because these people leave the straps extremely loose (probably why he got cut), buy used seats from craigslist, and hold him in their laps in the front seat while driving in our neighborhood.


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## sarahope (Feb 5, 2009)

these stories are heartbreaking. especially the four day old who was removed without having to unbuckle. AHHH! Where's the protective parental instinct in some people?


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## an_aurora (Jun 2, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SaraLe6* 
Probably it's different in every state, but here in Oregon, if the child is out of the carseat or even just not buckled and the car is running (even if it's not moving), you can get fined if a police officer sees it. The same goes for adults.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *burke-a-bee* 
I had a police office watch me take my son out of his careseat while I was waiting in line. He waited until the car moved and then gave me a ticket.

I'm sure glad that's not the law here. I would hate to get a ticket for keeping warm while I nursed my kiddo.


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## Paigekitten (Feb 22, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SaraLe6* 
Probably it's different in every state, but here in Oregon, if the child is out of the carseat or even just not buckled and the car is running (even if it's not moving), you can get fined if a police officer sees it. The same goes for adults.


Really? Even on private property?


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## Ironica (Sep 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *an_aurora* 
I'm sure glad that's not the law here. I would hate to get a ticket for keeping warm while I nursed my kiddo.

You wouldn't be moving the car while you nursed your kiddo, though... which is the second situation you quoted.

As for the Oregon law... I'd be surprised if they ticketed you while properly parked. It's probably written such that they can give you a ticket if you take your kid out of the carseat at a red light, even if they don't *see* you drive off that way.


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## paquerette (Oct 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ironica* 
As for the Oregon law... I'd be surprised if they ticketed you while properly parked. It's probably written such that they can give you a ticket if you take your kid out of the carseat at a red light, even if they don't *see* you drive off that way.

I don't know how Oregon is with the police state mentality, but you can bet if we had that law here people would be getting ticketed while nursing or changing diapers in the mall parking lot. They use similar drunk driving laws to charge people trying to sleep their overindulgences off in the bar parking lot, so why not?


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## jeliphish (Jul 18, 2007)

THIS MAKES ME SOOO MAD!! I call the police with the license plate number everytime I see it. THere is no excuse!!!


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## momof2kiddos (Dec 24, 2008)

That just irks me. I have a friend who is like that, she does not properly buckel all the childrent all the time and it frustrates me to know end. She says it is to much work, takes to much time, and it can go on and on. I hope she gets cought some day.


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## ncmama1 (Feb 8, 2009)

OK, maybe the mom of the 4 day old was really not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I wonder if 4 days after giving birth she was just delirious from sleep deprivation and reeling from the shock of being a brand new mom. It sounds like her intentions were good--she was attempting to use a car seat after all, she did have her car seat inspected, and her reason for having lose straps--though misguided--was focused on her baby's comfort. Car seats are pretty darned complicated if you haven't used one before, and I guess I'd rather see someone misapplying safety measures than skipping them altogether. Just another perspective.


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## EmpoweringBirth (Jul 8, 2007)

Interesting reading....some quite scary!


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## minkajane (Jun 5, 2005)

I'm a waitress and I see babies come in all the time in carseats with the straps hanging off their shoulders. I keep telling myself that they just loosened the straps while they were in the restaurant and they'll tighten them again in the car. Once, I mentioned it to a customer I had because the straps were twisted and really loose. The woman was shocked and had no idea that there was anything wrong with the straps. I helped her straighten and tighten them and she thanked me profusely.

I have a friend who drove from my hometown to where I live now (almost 4 hours) with her 4-month-old forward-facing. When I told her it was illegal and dangerous, she shrugged and said she wanted to be able to see her on such a long ride to make sure she was ok. Their whole family is laid-back to the point of carelessness about their kids, so there's not much I can say that they would listen to. I don't talk to them much anymore.


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