# Would you let your boy wear pink out in public?



## Koalamom (Dec 27, 2007)

My ds is 18 months. He has grown and I need winter clothes for him. I went through my 3 yr old dd's old clothes and found a pink snow suit, pretty green coat and hot pink mittens. They all fit my son now. I could go spend money (that I don't really have) and get him boyish colors or have him wear these hand me downs in great shape. Is this ok to do and would you let your LO wear this? And what age is this totally not ok?


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## earthmama369 (Jul 29, 2005)

Yep. DS is 4.5 years old and among the spectrum of colors he likes, pink is one of them. I have no problem with this. Yesterday he wore hot pink socks to his first day of preschool, and a number of his clothes are "girly" ones that he chose from his sister's hand-me-downs. It's no big deal.


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## Forthwith (Aug 6, 2007)

I say go for it! DS doesn't wear much pink right now, but that's because DW and I both really dislike that pepto-bismal-diluted-with-white-paint shade of pink that most pink baby clothes are. He has a few darker pink outfits that I found second hand (Cheap! Great quality! Perfect size!) that we wear outside, and no one has ever hassled us about it. People tend to think DS is a girl when he's in pink, but that's OK. I just correct them, and the conversation moves on.


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## Alyantavid (Sep 10, 2004)

Sure. But I tend to let my kids pick their own things out and really don't care what colors they wear.

I think it's not ok when your kid says he doesn't want to wear pink (for whatever reason).


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## ollyoxenfree (Jun 11, 2009)

At 18 mos., I would use the hand-me-downs. I would just be prepared for all the mistaken comments about such a cute girl. Since pink is traditionally worn by girls in this culture, I wouldn't get upset about them though.

By age 4 or 5, I'd be a little more sensitive about potential teasing, but if he wanted to wear something pink I would give it to him. I'd probably try to help him anticipate teasing and negative comments, role play and coach him on how to respond. If he doesn't want to wear pink, for whatever reasons, then I'd try to find a substitute. Second hand shops, freecycle, etc. are always good sources for inexpensive children's wear.

We were in the opposite situation - our first was a boy and our second was a girl. For snow suits, jackets, etc., I tried to buy neutral colours. They wore a lot of red or brown for years! It's easy to accessorize with "boy" or "girl" scarves, hats etc. if they wanted something with a gender-traditional look.


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## Bebe's Mom (Jun 10, 2010)

I agree with the PP about the girl comments, but hey, I dress my daughter head to toe in pink sometimes and people still think she is a boy.









ETA: I think the whole color/gender thing is kind of silly anyway..I have dressed DD in "boy's" clothes many times-she looks really good in darker colors such as blue and brown. Back in the sixties boys wore pink and girls wore blue....I am sure it will change back someday, in fact, it is already changing.

There was a recent "what would you do" episode on TV where they put little boys in a princess dress and sent them into a toy store. 99% of the people defended the boy's right to wear a dress...Seems that in general, people are pretty enlightened. Now, it would be interesting if they repeated the experiment in a more conservative state....


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## skybluepink02 (Nov 9, 2005)

I would, as long as the child did not care. Since I have twins, I am anticipating a certain amount of clothes swapping anyways.

Besides, I have this exact conversation at least once a week.

Stranger. "oh twins! Two boys?"
Me. " actually, a boy and a girl."
Stranger. " which one is the girl?"
Me. "the one wearing the pink hair bow"

Chances are he will still be called a boy.


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## cappuccinosmom (Dec 28, 2003)

Um, that wouldn't bother me at all. Currently my 7 and 5 year old boys wear pink and purple mittens, because they needed some good quality ones and those were all the colors left at the store when we needed them. *shrug*. I told them if the neighbor boys give them problems about it, they could say "Oh go stick your head in a lake".  But it hasn't been a problem at all. If we ever have a girl, she will probably spend her early winters in jackets and snowpants that are mostly red, black or navy, 'cause that's what we have.

The color thing is cultural. If we were in dh's country, it would be a *total* non-issue. But because we do believe in maintaining gender differences, and in our culture one of those differences has to do with the color and construction of clothes, I wouldn't have my boys dressed in something that is out and out feminine once they're out of the "baby" stage and into the age where it becomes a problem for others.


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## contactmaya (Feb 21, 2006)

When he was me all day, then absolutely i would dress him in pink. Mainly if pink matched some of the other colors he was wearing.

But then he started preK 3 days a week. Naively, i dressed him in a pink coat one very cold winter's day (must have been exactly a year ago) This coat was warmer than his other more 'gender appropriate' coats.

The teacher pulled me aside, and warned me that it was bad for his self esteem, and that he could no longer wear it. I thought that was nonsense. How could a color be bad for your self esteem? What is bad for his self esteem, is someone judging him badly for wearing pink and saying so to his face.

I did not make an issue of it, because he himself didnt care whether he wore pink or not. If he did, then i would have made an issue of it. A boy can wear pink if he chooses. Who says he cant? Thats what i tell him. I say, in our family, we wear the colors that we choose.

After this experience, i was a little dubious about sending him to school this year at K wearing pink. On the weekend, he is free to wear what he wants. One weekend we saw a classmate in the playground. He saw my sons bright pink pants, and exclaimed, 'hey, pink is my favorite color!'

Another boy in the class had been known to wear pink shoes from time to time.

So i sent my little boy in his beautiful pink pants on a week day, to school.

He told me only one person commented, a little girl, who said 'Why are you wearing pink?'

My son replied 'I like wearing pink'

And that was the end of that.


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## Snowflake777 (Jan 6, 2011)

At 18 months, I'd probably do it if I didn't have much money to spare. Probably not downtown we're I'm likely to be meeting tons of people, but to the local playground? Sure.

DD has a little friend at daycare and he wears the occasional pink hand-me-down from his sister.

With an older boy, I wouldn't unless he specifically asked to.


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## crunchy_mommy (Mar 29, 2009)

Everyone thinks my DS is a girl no matter what he's wearing.

He does wear girls shoes & boots for the most part lately. He has a pair of 'boy' shoes but he likes the girl ones (hand-me-downs from a friend) better. But they aren't super girly/pink/frilly either...

He also has a outfits that are more girly colors (not hot pink though) and he looks great in them.









He sometimes likes to wear ponytails but I'm not really that comfortable with putting him in pigtails out in public because it's just... I don't know, he's never asked for it in public & I see no reason to put him in a position to get weird comments if he hasn't asked for them, you know? He's only 23mos... I don't see the point in intentionally making him look like a girl if he doesn't care either way, but I wouldn''t intentionally avoid it if he requested or there was a need...

I don't know if I'd put my DS in a totally pink snow outfit but that's just because I'm not a fan of super girly clothes, on girls or boys. I also am not a fan of hearts & bows & lace. I don't really see the big deal though if you want to do it (but I would be prepared for funny comments). Why spend extra money that you don't have, on something your DS will only need (or even fit in!) for just a few months? But if you don't feel OK with it, you could always sell the pink outfit and use the money for a more gender-neutral outfit (or even arrange a swap with another mom in the same boat).


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## ollyoxenfree (Jun 11, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *contactmaya*
> 
> So i sent my little boy in his beautiful pink pants on a week day, to school.
> 
> ...


What an awesome little guy you have! That's exactly what I meant when I suggested role playing and coaching on how to respond if someone asks or teases a boy about wearing pink. It's wonderful that your ds has such natural confidence.


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## lonegirl (Oct 31, 2008)

I would if he chose it. He has a purple and pink hat and matching mittens....very much from the girls dept. The slippers he wants me to get him are pink moccasins.

Before he made it his choice no, I wouldn't have, but that is me. Would I have him wear it around our own yard? Of course. If he was out playing and got soaked would it be a back up? Sure. Would it be his main snow suit? Nah. Again that is just me. I would likely go to one of the gently used kids stuff stores and get a more "boyish" one


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## Neuromancer (Jan 15, 2008)

My husband wears pink and I'm pregnant with our first child -- a boy. We're both comfortable with the idea of our son wearing pink at any age.


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## SilverFish (Jan 14, 2010)

yeah i would. i only have a daughter, and i don't like pink anyway, so i have been avoiding acquiring a lot of pink clothing, but we do have some things. no way will i be going out and buying specifically new clothes for a boy if i had one next. i wouldn't pick out something pink on purpose, but again, not because i don't think boys should wear pink, but just because i don't like the colour much and prefer more neutral tones. if it were a hand-me-down in good shape, i wouldn't care what colour it was at all. this is obviously for a baby. for an older child, i would balance their choice with what is best for the family. if my son went to the store to pick out something new, he could get whatever colour he wanted... if it was a hand-me-down and he didn't want to wear it because it was pink, i would ask myself whether i would buy him something new if the coat was otherwise displeasing to him (colour, style, pattern etc), and then go from there.


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## tabrizia (Oct 24, 2007)

Sure. DS' winter mittens right now are hot pink. He doesn't have an issue with it. He doesn't have a ton of pink stuff since he is my oldest, but newbie who is a boy will be wearing some hand me downs from DD so he'll have pink in his wardrobe. I would buy DS clothes in any color he requests, but since he doesn't really care about what he is wearing at this point, he tends to get more neutrals/boy colors just because they are easy to find.


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## angelandmisha (May 16, 2008)

My son regularly proclaims pink and purple to be his favorite colors (age 3 1/2). He has several pink shirts and wears them without issue. As for the snowsuit, I probably wouldn't put him in that, but that's just me. I think if you can't or don't want to afford another one, then use the pink one. I like the idea of trying to swap with another mother in the same boat. But you could also dye it a different color if you're bothered by it- at least that would be cheaper. He probably won't need to (or be able to) wear it much longer.

To your actual question, yes it's ok to do, yes I would let him wear it and I agree with a pp- the only time it becomes not ok is when he says he doesn't want to wear it- I would definitely not force it.


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## Petie1104 (Oct 26, 2010)

DS 2 favorite color right now is red, and as far as he's concerned, pink is just light red, so he loves it.

With that said, if you don't like the idea of him wearing it, you could go get some dye and just turn the pink to red. Now that I think about it, hey, I might do that with some of dd's clothes when I get ready to see about hand me downs again.


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## leighi123 (Nov 14, 2007)

Ds's favorite colors are pink and purple. When we buy clothes, I let him pick whatever he wants. The only reason I dont often buy "girls" clothes isnt the color, its because they say something stupid on the front (like daddy's little princess, cutie pie, etc.)

I make most of his clothes and he usually picks the fabric, last one he 'designed' was a pink fleece sweater with turquoise sleves and an alligator on the front. If I pick the colors, I pick gender neutral colors, generally nice and bright!

So yeah I dont care what he wears, he has even worn a dress to the park before because he wanted to! He models the clothes I make too, girls and boys stuff!

People think he is a girl no matter what he wears, even after he tells them his name is Levi and he is a BOY. He is used to it by now though!

A dress I made (he was mad because he didnt get to keep it, it was a custom order) http://i169.photobucket.com/albums/u218/leighi123/crafts/clothes/DSC04318.jpg

The shirt he designed: http://i169.photobucket.com/albums/u218/leighi123/baby/December%202010/000_0009.jpg

His purple outfit: http://i169.photobucket.com/albums/u218/leighi123/crafts/clothes/DSC05462.jpg

(this one he picked the fabrics, it hurts my eyes!!! I made it for under ski clothes so the pants are long johns, but he wears the shirt on its own with jeans or something all the time)


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## treeoflife3 (Nov 14, 2008)

i happen to really like greens and blues and animals and a lot of that is found in the 'boys' section for clothes so before my kid could have an opinion (actually, she still doesn't have an opinion yet) she would wear that stuff. I once had a whole conversation with a woman about my son. There just wasn't a good time to use the correct pronoun on my end of the conversation and since it was some random stranger in a store whom i'd never see again, i didn't find it necessary to interrupt and correct her. My kiddo was in a medium/darkish orange shirt with a bear on the front. Pretty typical boy apparel.

I figure, if I'd dress my daughter in clothes with a 'boy' label and let people think she is a boy because there is no reason to correct them... I might as well for a son. for me personally, I'd feel hypocritical to put more emphasis on my son's gender than I do on my daughters'.

i say use the pink snow suit. its cold, you have it, and your kid is only 1. he wouldn't even understand if someone DID make a rude comment on a boy wearing pink. He is oblivious to cultural standards... I bet he likes to be warm and play with snow though!


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## littlemizflava (Oct 8, 2006)

if money was tight and it being so close to the end of the season if i couldnt keep him in what he has i would put him in the girlie one. im kinda in the same boat but i am praying my ds dont grow any more his jacket is soo small and snowpants just fit. my ds has always been mistaken for a girl from birth even in dress shirts. he is 4 now and will only wear somethings out that are pink (dress shirt, polo or socks). he understands that wearing somethings make people call him a girl no matter how many times they are corrected and on a bad day he will get very vexed. he is a very much in to boy clothing but he wears girlie stuff at home.


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## Koalamom (Dec 27, 2007)

Thanks everyone for the replys. Since I am a cultural rebel, I am going to try to not make a color a gender thing. Sure I am not going to put him in a dora shirt, but I will be more easy going too when my dd like a boys color shirt. I will try to dig up a pick of the coat and see what you'all think of the color anyway...


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## Koalamom (Dec 27, 2007)

So here are some pics:

Here is 3 yr dd this past summer with a shirt that everyone said she looked like a boy with. What do you think? I am considering getting rid of it. (Oh and please excuse the wild hair as I have no idea how to tame it somehow. My ds is getting hair like that too and I have no curly hair anywhere in the family!)

Here is the coat that I am asking about but it is just the fleece layer in the pic and there is a winter cover basically the same color that goes over it. This is 2 yr old dd. Do you think this is too girly?

PS-

And even though this has nothing to do with the topic, I had to share an old super cute pic of ds when he was little. It was moving day and he is just getting his first tooth. Can you see it?


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## Magali (Jun 8, 2007)

When my son was about that age he picked out a "girly" pair of winter boots and then was always wearing his cousins pink Dora winter boots too.


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## MJB (Nov 28, 2009)

My 5 yr. old son's favorite color is pink. At the beginning of kindergarten they had these pictures hanging in the wall that they drew and said "my favorite color is _____" and his was the only boy's that was pink. He's not shy about it! I would have no problem with it, especially at 1. Now that he's older, if he wants something super girly I let him have it unless it's something I want him to have for years (for instance, I vetoed a pink backpack because I want him to use the same backpack through 2nd or 3rd grade and he might not want a pink one then).


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## ollyoxenfree (Jun 11, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *bluebirdmama1*
> 
> So here are some pics:


That hair is adorable!! I like the shirt, I wouldn't get rid of it if it's in good condition.

The fleece looks fine. I'd keep using it.

The baby photo is very sweet. Nice looking family! Whether they are in pink, blue, rainbow, tartan....they look happy and cared for and healthy. Lovely.


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

At 18 months, I probably would without blinking an eye.

I've also learned that it depends on where you live. In some areas, people don't even notice, but other areas, people will make comments about boys wearing pink. But, since he's so little, I can't imagine anybody would say a thing, and if they did, he won't care.


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## crunchy_mommy (Mar 29, 2009)

What cute kids!!!!!!!

I would have no problem putting my son in that, it doesn't scream girl to me at all... they are just colors. If it had bows and pleats and frills then I personally probably wouldn't chose it (for public situations) but from your picture it looks like a fairly gender-neutral coat and I probably wouldn't have even thought about it possibly being too girly.

I like that dark blue shirt & I feel like she looks kind of neutral in it -- wouldn't know whether she was a boy or girl just from the pic although I might guess girl based on her facial features.


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## PiggyPiggyOinkOink (Aug 5, 2010)

A couple months ago I was at Wal Mart with my kids, and they saw pj's in the toddler section. I let each of them pick out what they wanted, since they were only $5. DD (16 months then) picked Thomas the Train ones (her favorite pj set ever ever ever now) from the "boy" side, and DS picked some pink Spongebob ones from the "girl" side. He absolutely loves them. He wants to wear them to school but I did tell him no since the pants are a little short on him and I know he'd be upset if they got ruined with marker or paint there.Most days he'll wear them to bed, change for school, come home and change right back into his pink pj's. If he wants something pink, I will let him have it or wear it. I'm all for what makes him happy right now, not what some other person says is ok for him to wear or not.


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## sk8boarder15 (Jan 12, 2010)

I think kids should wear whats available to them, or what they like! Until they are old enough to choose mom and dad choose! That simple! When I found out I was pregnant I took a bunch of hand me downs from little boys, I like "boy" colors so even if I had a girl she would have worn boy colors just because that's what I would pick. Heck, most of my clothes are "boy" clothes! I did have a boy, but if I ever took him out shopping and he asked for the "girl" stuff as long as it was affordable I would get it! For now though he's going to keep getting all of his male cousins clothes!


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## Amylcd (Jun 16, 2005)

Absolutely! There is nothing wrong with a boy (of any age) wearing pink.


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## littlemizflava (Oct 8, 2006)

quoting wont work









that shirt i got no problem with. my dd wears alot of boy clothing.

that jacket didnt even look girlie it looked more neutral to me.


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

If I didn't let DS wear pink in public he would have every right to call me a hypocrite. Pink is always an acceptable colour for males to wear.


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

I have. Ds loved pink for a while. And he loved Dora the Explorer. So, he wore pink. He wore Dora t-shirts. It didn't scar him. It probably weirded a few of our neighbors out, but they think we're weird already, so it's OK.


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## pixiekisses (Oct 14, 2008)

Of course. They can wear anything they want as long as it's weather and age apropriate.

I've had my youngest boy in a pink tutu with matching tiara and wand in public.


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## hildare (Jul 6, 2009)

we don't believe in genderized clothing, colors, or toys. so.. yes.


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## Neuromancer (Jan 15, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *LynnS6*
> 
> I have. Ds loved pink for a while. And he loved Dora the Explorer. So, he wore pink. He wore Dora t-shirts. It didn't scar him. It probably weirded a few of our neighbors out, but they think we're weird already, so it's OK.


The double standard is so interesting. Our friends' 2 1/2 year old girl wears Batman shirts all the time and everyone loves it. But a boy in Dora shirts would turn some heads?! I think I would be glad to be thought "weird" by those neighbors!


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## Bebe's Mom (Jun 10, 2010)

I took my daughter to the grocery store yesterday. She was wearing a pink coat and boots with pink hearts on them-and a brown tutu(!). A man came up and said, "oh, how handsome you are, you are going to be an actor.." It doesn't matter what I dress her in, some people still think she is a boy. I have had some people say that it is because she has very little hair, I don't know how that makes a difference.

My neighbor's son gets mistaken for a girl all the time, even though she dresses him entirely in boy clothes..

It really makes no difference what you dress your child in, people make assumptions no matter what.

BTW, I love that shirt!


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## Greenlea (Apr 21, 2010)

Absolutely. At that age they don't really know and don't really care. My DH still wears pink. He has a bright pink shirt he wears that says "Tough Guys Wear Pink".


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## Dandelionkid (Mar 6, 2007)

At age three my ds was wearing pink dresses to the play-ground. He's over that phase but no one ever teased him. He wore the pink with confidence


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## UnschoolnMa (Jun 14, 2004)

I dressed my son in pink and my daughter in blue as infants regularly.







I never, ever ever will understand the hoopla over gender and colors. Bah. lol.


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## ariahsmum (Jun 15, 2004)

I do this- ds has an older sister with lots of great clothes. I actually love seeing him in them and he... at age 2... loves that he is wearing his sisters things. I just let him pick. He has plenty of blue and orange things as well... and the money we would spend for all new things is crazy.

I have to admit to *so enjoying* breaking the cultural norms. I had him dressed in "boy clothes" the other day, except the leg of hi navy sweats had a very small heart. The lady next to us in line at the store was taken with ds, and was talking to him... but she completely stuttered and froze when she came to a point where she needed the correct pronoun to refer to him. Ultimately she said, "I thought he was a boy... but the heart threw me off." She was totally mortified. I could have cared less if she did think he was a girl. I love mixing it up for people and the fact that their "norms" get messed up when they see a kid with mixed gender clothing on.

Today though, ds (a full head of tight african curls) wore ponytails and barrettes in his hair to playgroup. All boys there, and people I will see again meeting us for the first time. I have to say that his choice in hair presentation today pushed the comfort range for me.


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## limette (Feb 25, 2008)

It's never not okay.


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## sk8boarder15 (Jan 12, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *limette*
> 
> It's never not okay.


What? Really? Are serious?


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## Jenne (May 21, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *sk8boarder15*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> ...


I cannot answer for Limette...but um, yeah...seriously...*any* person can wear *any* color. My favorite color is blue. I wear blue. My DH sometimes wears pink. It is a color, not a lifestyle commitment, or social comment. Obviously, if the kid has an issue with what he/she is wearing it is a different conversation...but if the kid doesn't care or wants to then it is always okay to wear any color...

Jenne


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## Alyantavid (Sep 10, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *sk8boarder15*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> ...


When is it not ok for a boy to wear pink?


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## crunchy_mommy (Mar 29, 2009)

I'm guessing she read it wrong, at first I thought the other poster wrote "it's never OK" ...


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## wookie (Dec 12, 2008)

i think the double negative may have thrown that mama off. she may have read it as "it's never okay". her reaction seems to indicate that to me :shrug


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## Spring Lily (Sep 26, 2006)

DS wears his sisters' clothes often at home. It's just easier for me to let them share pants especially, instead of going out and buying a bunch more when we already have a ton. They're just "girl" pants, is all.

If we go out, like to the store or park, I don't always change them. I've been picking up my oldest from school and other parents have commented when they see him in ruffly or pink pants (or ones with flowers or butterflies on them) . The comments have been fine, just "Oh, he's in his sister's clothes, how cute!" or "I'm low on laundry today too." No one cares too much, even if they wouldn't dress their own boy that way.

DS' favorite dress up outfit is a shiny pink skirt that he pulls up under his arms like a long strapless dress. He twirls around in it and has a great time, painted nails, hair clips and all. Why should I allow him to dress up in pink but not wear pink otherwise?


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## limette (Feb 25, 2008)

Yes I'm serious and yes you read it wrong.

Let me rephrase.

It's always okay.

My baby boy wears pink and I have many male friends that wear pink. I don't know why it wouldn't be okay.


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## sk8boarder15 (Jan 12, 2010)

LOL! I'm sorry I did miss the double negative! I'm glad you think its always okay!!!


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## sk8boarder15 (Jan 12, 2010)

We are in agreement then! There's no reason a boy shouldn't be able to wear pink!


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## colsxjack (Dec 9, 2009)

I would def. dress my kid in a pink or girly snowsuit. Although, that jacket didn't look girly to me at all, it is just light blue.

We have a daughter. We received a lot of hand me downs from a friend that has a son. We also like to buy "boyish" clothes and colours for our DD because baby girl clothes are just not at all practical. The colours are always light and stain easily. And we like bright colours. Also, for some reason, even girl baby clothes are tight and revealing. Why does a baby need low rider pants? And why are girl pants sized smaller than boy pants? It is already hard enough to fit pants over a cloth diaper. And why do many girl shirts say stupid things like drama queen and dive on them?

Our DD has very little hair, and no matter what she is wearing, people think she is a boy. One day we were at the grocery store waiting in line. She was wearing a girls outfit, but it happened to be brown pants and a light blue top. A woman started talking with her and said something like "what a cute little boy you are". I replied with "we think she's adorable too" or something to that effect. The woman then got embarrassed and said "oh, sorry, I thought it was a boy because you have her dressed in brown and blue". This woman herself was wearing blue jeans and a chocolate brown shirt. So I say, "Yeah, it's ok, I understand, it's not like females wear brown or blue together or anything" and looked her up and down. She just agreed with me and didn't get it at all.

All that to say. Our DD does have clothing that is girlish too. And if and when we have a son, he will wear her hand me downs. When he gets to an age that he doesn't want to, I will not force him.


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## butterfly_mommy (Oct 22, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *ollyoxenfree*
> 
> At 18 mos., I would use the hand-me-downs. I would just be prepared for all the mistaken comments about such a cute girl. Since pink is traditionally worn by girls in this culture, I wouldn't get upset about them though.
> 
> By age 4 or 5, I'd be a little more sensitive about potential teasing, but if he wanted to wear something pink I would give it to him. I'd probably try to help him anticipate teasing and negative comments, role play and coach him on how to respond. If he doesn't want to wear pink, for whatever reasons, then I'd try to find a substitute. Second hand shops, freecycle, etc. are always good sources for inexpensive children's wear.


This exactly!


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## MelKnee (Dec 5, 2001)

This is sore spot for me. Girls don't own pink. All colors are for all people. My ds's favorite color was pink until he was about 6. Then, he started getting teased and he changed it to red. There is no rational reason boys shouldn't wear or like pink. It is a wave-length on the spectrum of light just like all the others. Sorry, rant over. Put your boy in whatever you want.


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## coldandsleepy (Aug 5, 2008)

I think that as long as he's okay wearing it, it's okay. An 18 month old kid doesn't have an opinion on a thing like that, so you're in the clear.


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## ChristyMarie (May 31, 2006)

Go for it.

My son is currently wearing a matching necklace and bracelet set he made. All plastic hearts in pink, yellow and white. He did a very nice job on it and wears it every single day. Well, unless he wears a collared shirt because then "it doesn't go" so on those days he only wears the bracelet.

He's 4.5.


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## D_McG (Jun 12, 2006)

Well I'll be the odd one out, I guess. At 18 mos in my backyard I wouldn't care (at any age I wouldn't care. Although my 4.5 year old was grumbling about pink gloves the other day, so I would respect that). But I wouldn't take a toddler out in public/send them to school in a pink snowsuit. Nor would I judge someone who did, though.


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## mommalibbie (Apr 12, 2006)

I'm all for kids wearing warm clothes that fit and can be played in regardless of gender stereotypes. I know boys who rock the floral pants and girls who only want to wear camo.

What is your reaction going to be when you hear 'what a cute little girl'? Really it's a whole lot about you. Your 18 month old doesn't care. Your 3 year old might but not your 18 month old. Do you have a response that will empower you and your children? Personally, I think it's cool to mix it up. But I've had my share of 'really, you think my child in the pink dress and pigtails is a boy' and been turned off by it. And really, most folks don't have a filter and shouldn't be taken too seriously.

You saved to showsuit to be used again. Use it yourself and show your kids that what you have as valuable as what others may think you should own. Or trade it with a friend and teach the eternal lesson of sharing and cooperating.

I guess, my sense, is it comes down to what lifestyle and values are you hoping to empart to your kids.


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## peaceful_mama (May 27, 2005)

mmmmm well, we're kind of traditional too in terms of boys and girls wearing 'different' clothes culturally. BUT...I bet right now if DH was here and I asked him about this post, he would say for a baby it makes absolutely NO difference. 

I happen to have 3 boys and one girl, girl is 2nd child. She's been wearing her brother's hats for most of the winter because I *did* buy her a set (she needed the scarf) and she lost the cute purple hat with glittery thread and turquoise hearts. One of her brother's old hats happens to fit her perfectly. It is bright blue. She doesn't care. 

I think what I am going to do from now on is just buy more neutral-ish (like black or royal blue or something) hats and stuff for the oldest and just let them pass on down. 

Also DD has been known to play in her brother's jeans, and things like blue sweatpants have been handed on down from toddler to toddler regardless of gender.


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## hasya (Jun 27, 2010)

I have the reverse problem. DD is 9 months old and the only snowsuits that I can find as a PP said, are in pepto bismol-watered-down-with-white pink. Grrrr. Why does she have to be restricted to only pink. I found it so stupid when I called stores to ask them if they have snowsuits for 9-12 months and they asked me, "Boy or Girl?" It's a snow suit for crying out loud. Not a frock. The thing that looks like big overalls? If it is cold enough to put one on, most of her face is probably not even visible because of the hat and scarf?


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## SoulJourney (Sep 26, 2005)

THIS is my son...the one in the pink with the blond curls. He looks like this because it's his own choice. I have a great big soap box that I can stand on about allowing children the freedom to express themselves no matter how comfortable you are with the idea but my pink loving little boy is hungry for dinner.


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## MelKnee (Dec 5, 2001)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *hasya*
> 
> I have the reverse problem. DD is 9 months old and the only snowsuits that I can find as a PP said, are in pepto bismol-watered-down-with-white pink. Grrrr. Why does she have to be restricted to only pink. I found it so stupid when I called stores to ask them if they have snowsuits for 9-12 months and they asked me, "Boy or Girl?" It's a snow suit for crying out loud. Not a frock. The thing that looks like big overalls? If it is cold enough to put one on, most of her face is probably not even visible because of the hat and scarf?


Haha! I used this to my advantage with my ds. When he was 4, we went to buy a new winter coat. I was in the boy's section, so all the coats were navy, grey or brown. I asked my ds which one he liked. He kinda shrugged and

said he guessed the blue one. My lightbulb went on and I went where I knew he could get what he wanted. The girl's section. When he saw the pink coats, his face lit up and he said, "That one, Momma!" He still wears that coat at 9 even though it is too small.


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *SoulJourney*
> 
> THIS is my son...the one in the pink with the blond curls. He looks like this because it's his own choice. I have a great big soap box that I can stand on about allowing children the freedom to express themselves no matter how comfortable you are with the idea but my pink loving little boy is hungry for dinner.


You and I must shop at the same store then. I love the picture.

DS removes anything that isn't pink or purple as soon as you get it on him... Unless it has a skirt, sparkles or flowers.


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## SoulJourney (Sep 26, 2005)

MusicianDad: Pink has been DS's favorite color since he was two. His bedroom is bubblegum pink, along with pretty much everything in it. The irony in this is that I was a total "dude" chick pre-child (raced mountain bikes and adventure races, avid backpacker, blahblah) and I was SO relieved to have a son so that people wouldn't inundate us with pink! Now it's all I *EVER* see...and I wouldn't want it any other way.


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

It was about ten months ago or so when DS started asking for a dress like his sister, DH and I were planning on picking one up when we went shopping for new clothes but DD had some extra fabric laying around so she made him a purple one. As soon as she showed it to him he shrieked with joy and started stripping yelling "Put it on!" It was way too cute so now he has a few dresses he wears. And to be honest it's much easier to change diapers. We sometimes get comments or funny looks, but the kid is way to happy for us to let that put a stop to it.


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## Koalamom (Dec 27, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *SoulJourney*
> 
> THIS is my son...the one in the pink with the blond curls. He looks like this because it's his own choice. I have a great big soap box that I can stand on about allowing children the freedom to express themselves no matter how comfortable you are with the idea but my pink loving little boy is hungry for dinner.


How cute!!! He looks so happy!

PS- good to see a boy with blond curls as my 19 month old ds is getting them and they are thin still, but I want to let them grow out. Love it!


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## ocelotmom (Jul 29, 2003)

From a practical standpoint, as another person said, I think it makes more sense to just use what you have rather than going out and buying something new that will only be used for a short time.

I do try to avoid deliberately sending the wrong message about my children's biological sex, especially before they're old enough to make those decisions for themselves. I mean, I'm not going to dress my baby in a pink dress and hairbow, then say "Actually, he's a boy!" indignantly when someone comments on the cute girl just for giggles or to make a point. On the other hand, I didn't give DS a buzz cut or dress him in football print or a suit and tie in order to avoid confusion, and my favorite outfit for DD2 has brown stripes and a puppy and I'm sure was intended for a boy (as were a lot of her hand-me-downs). And I have a "Future football star" onesie that I plan on pairing with something pink at some point, so perhaps I'm calling the kettle black a little 

Once they get old enough to have clothing preferences, I'm happy to let them wear what they want, but I'll discuss with them ahead of time how others might perceive it so that they have the information they need to make an educated decision. In my experience with DS, most of the time he'll choose to wear it anyways.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *bluebirdmama1*
> 
> So here are some pics:
> 
> ...


I'd consider the fleece jacket to be relatively neutral, and would probably assume boy if they were wearing neutral or boyish pants and shoes.

For the three year old... look for the book Curly Girl by Lorraine Massey (or just google - I think most of the most relevant info can be found online). It's all about getting curly hair to look good 

(sorry for the font change. Copying and pasting does that to me, and it drives me insane.)


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## Koalamom (Dec 27, 2007)

Thanks fo rthe book rec!


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## hasya (Jun 27, 2010)

Oceletmom, I have friend who told me that her sister had very curly and unmanageable hair and her mother repeatedly shaved off her sister's hair until it grew out straight. Her sister is now about 20 years old or so, and has very long thick straight hair. I don't know if that is an option for you.


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## Kristine233 (Jul 15, 2003)

Pink is my son's favorite color and he says "Pink is the new black".
Andrew in pink, he has several pink shirts.

I see nothing wrong with a boy wearing pink if he wants to. Should girls not wear blue?


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *hasya*
> 
> Oceletmom, I have friend who told me that her sister had very curly and unmanageable hair and her mother repeatedly shaved off her sister's hair until it grew out straight. Her sister is now about 20 years old or so, and has very long thick straight hair. I don't know if that is an option for you.


Is this a way of telling a momma that her child's curly hair is not absolutely adorable? That straight hair is somehow more to be desired than curly? I have one curly girl and I can't imagine thinking of trying to turn it straight.


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## Delicate (Jan 22, 2011)

I don't have boys, just girls, but I don't know why they wouldn't wear pink outside the home! Men look great in pink, especially those with darker features.

Anyway, I too have the opposite problem. Especially when my ODD was a baby/young toddler, I had difficulty finding things that weren't pink and/or really girly. I tried to be very neutral in their younger years and I actually often ended up buying ODD a lot of basic boys' clothes that could pass as neutral, because I had a hard time finding things for her that didn't have a Disney Princess on them, or ruffles or lace, or bratty sayings like, "what daddy won't buy me, grandma will!", or "Everyone Screams for My Ice Cream" with two cones with cherries in a suggestive place. No kidding, I actually saw it, and it was 4T. Where's the barfy smiley for that?







Though it does seem to have gotten better and I'm happy I've been seeing more colours and less of them with graphics/logos/sayings, and more of them just nicely cut but not terribly frilly, but it was inescapable a few years ago.

Anyway, didn't affect my daughters to wear boyish stuff. My ODD isn't especially girly but she's not really a tomboy either. I think she owns one dress, she's a jeans-and-t-shirt kinda gal. My YDD wears pants when she's horseback riding, or shorts in the summer once in a while, but otherwise doesn't really wear pants. I'm cool with it either way. If she wanted to dress like a boy, she could dress like a boy.

If it's not a moral choice (like pleather booty shorts for preschoolers, needing that barfy smilie again) and they're not pushing to wear jeans and a tunic to a wedding or something, I personally thing all clothing decisions should be up to the kid once they can voice an opinion on it.


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## Delicate (Jan 22, 2011)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *hasya*
> 
> Oceletmom, I have friend who told me that her sister had very curly and unmanageable hair and her mother repeatedly shaved off her sister's hair until it grew out straight. Her sister is now about 20 years old or so, and has very long thick straight hair. I don't know if that is an option for you.


That's ridiculous. Hair doesn't "learn" to be straight. Straight versus curly versus wavy is a gene. Some children will have curly hair and it'll naturally straighten out, but cutting it off or shaving it doesn't do that any more than cutting or shaving it off makes black hair grow back in as blonde.


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

Wow, I got so sidetracked by what seemed to be an anti-curl comment that I forgot to comment on the actual thread topic. I have no problem with boys in pink. I don't think there's such a thing as girl colors or boy colors.


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## Koalamom (Dec 27, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *hasya*
> 
> Oceletmom, I have friend who told me that her sister had very curly and unmanageable hair and her mother repeatedly shaved off her sister's hair until it grew out straight. Her sister is now about 20 years old or so, and has very long thick straight hair. I don't know if that is an option for you.


Yeah not a nice idea. That would especially destroy a childs self esteem.


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## ocelotmom (Jul 29, 2003)

Just to be clear, since my name is being pasted around right and left... the book I mentioned is focused on bringing out curls, caring for them properly, and making them look good, not eliminating them  Personally, I'm actually looking to make my DD's hair *more* curly - she has straightish hair on top which tends to look shaggy, with loose curls underneath and in the back. Making it be straight would probably actually be easier (with brushing, not shaving!), but I think the curls are adorable and would like to go that direction if possible (and that's what DD wants, too).


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## craft_media_hero (May 15, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *SoulJourney*
> 
> THIS is my son...the one in the pink with the blond curls. He looks like this because it's his own choice. I have a great big soap box that I can stand on about allowing children the freedom to express themselves no matter how comfortable you are with the idea but my pink loving little boy is hungry for dinner.


Oh my gosh, your son is adorable! And I think it's great that you are helping have a strong foundation in his own self-esteem by letting him freely express himself


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## cocoanib (May 14, 2009)

yes.

I personally am not fond of the color pink, but if DD or a future DS wants to, I have no problem with it.

Also if it was a hand me down or given to us adn we needed it, pink it is!


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## hasya (Jun 27, 2010)

Oh goodness, I seem to have set off a cascade of protests. I personally wouldn't even want to shave my kid's hair ever. I only said this if she's finding it unmanageable. And passed on something from someone if that seems like something someone else wants as an option.

That said, culturally, (read, MIL...), I HAVE to get DD's head shaved when she's about a year old. My dad didn't believe in that. So, we lucked out. None of us had to endure that. I am still hoping to swing it so that my girl's hair will be left alone until she's old enough to have her say. At which point, she'll protest, loud and clear, I am sure.

I asked in a different forum if anyone's noticed any changes in hair appearance/texture after shaving. MANY did. So, it isn't a myth.

This whole thing is like forced circumcision. Not really because hair is hair, it'll grow back, but forced removal of any part of a body for cultural reasons...

Oceletmom, ok! .

My own hair is a funny mix of straight and curly, and I've tried working it into a curlier or straighter style. One looked messy. The other looked, well, pasty. :-(. I just let mine air dry and do it's own thing. So, I am not advocating for one or the other. I misunderstood your post. Sorry, Oceletmom!


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## Lisa1970 (Jan 18, 2009)

My son would be very cute in pink! No way would I buy a new coat!

My son wore pretty purple gloves out to play, with a girl's red scarf, but a unisex hat and a boys coat the other day. Nothing matched at all. But no way would I buy new. If others say what a cute little girl, I would just either smile and nod, or I would just smile and say "yeah, but he is a boy who is stuck in his sister's handmedowns" and laugh it off.


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## hasya (Jun 27, 2010)

Brilliant response, Lisa!


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## NettleTea (Aug 16, 2007)

Pink is just a color. I see nothing wrong with a boy wearing, pink, purple, pastels, any color. If my boys like it then that is what matters. Society has really screwed up most people's perceptions and convinced everyone that certain colors belong to a particular gender. I couldn't disagree more.

This is one of those "rant" subjects for me and I could go on and on. But I will stick to the topic at hand


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