# Sex in the Family Bed



## CalmCenter (Apr 27, 2009)

This has been on my mind and just thought I would put it out there for anyone with experience.

How do you have sex while co-sleeping with your baby. We are preg, but thinking ahead!

Do you put your baby in a separate bassinet/bed? What do you think are healthy boundaries around sex and babies/toddlers/children?

Thanks!!!







:


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## Marylizah (Jun 17, 2005)

I think sex doesn't have to happen on a bed!









You learn to get creative when you co-sleep!


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## Caroline P (Apr 8, 2006)

Good question. Early on baby really has no clue, esp when asleep. We went on trips and while our son was asleep enjoyed our intimacy. At home, there are way more fun places to get intimate - any room really! You don't need a bed







or if you do, make one or use a guest room (if you have one). Our son is now 2.5 almost and he does go to bed before us, so we have time to enjoy - or when he naps in the aft. I'm now nearly 7 months pg with our second and thinking of how we'll manage with two. But I think any parent wonders, regardless of cosleeping.


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## Dreamy (Jun 1, 2007)

Saturday and Sunday mornings while he's napping in his crib.

He's also started having good 1-2 hour long "sleeps" in his crib in the evening, so we may start to reintroduce weekday evening nooky as well









He then sleeps next to me from 9PM to 6AM, and I'm too exhausted by then for extra-curricular activities anyway.


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## LionessMom (Mar 12, 2008)

with all our kids, DH and i only do it at night or early morning while everyone is sleeping. DD is the only sleeping with us right now. she has a crib side carrred. we just scoot her over and make sure she is asleep. of course, she sleeps all night so that helps. when she was littler, we would do it before she woke to nurse. we had 2 hours, and we dont need a whole 2 hours, lol, we have it down.


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## felix23 (Nov 7, 2006)

This is where the swing comes in handy for us!


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Marylizah* 
I think sex doesn't have to happen on a bed!









You learn to get creative when you co-sleep!









Yup, I honestly can't remember the last time I had sex in a bed.


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## LittleBlessings (May 26, 2008)

Good question


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## Dahlea (May 15, 2008)

This might change as our son gets older-but when he was really small, we just did it in the bed, because he'd wake up if we were too far away. A few desperate times, we've done it while he was nursing while asleep.
Mostly we go in another room though!


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## missjessicajames (Jan 23, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *felix23* 
This is where the swing comes in handy for us!









ditto... wasn't until I was a momma that I realized a swing would be the most essential addition to my sex life


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## Mymble (Jan 11, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *felix23* 
This is where the swing comes in handy for us!









You know, I just came in at the end of this thread and thought you meant you were going outside and using the swingset....or DID YOU?!


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## Swandira (Jun 26, 2005)

We have a king-sized bed, so we have plenty of room for us and a sleeping baby. I, too, have occasionally nursed a baby back to sleep in the midst of such activities.









For older, verbal kids, we just tell them, if they're awake, that we're going to do some work upstairs and give them something fun and distracting to do. Somehow they never come and bug us then -- probably they're afraid we'll make them do housework!







We lock the door anyway, just to be sure.


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## momasana (Aug 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mymble* 
You know, I just came in at the end of this thread and thought you meant you were going outside and using the swingset....or DID YOU?!


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## itsrtimedownhere (Jul 18, 2008)

my (almost) 3 year old sleeps like a rock and my 8 week old obviously doesn't know what's going on. we have 2 queens pushed together so they go on one bed and we go on the other








(not all night of course)


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## spicyrock (Apr 11, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *missjessicajames* 
ditto... wasn't until I was a momma that I realized a swing would be the most essential addition to my sex life









hey, me too







who knew we'd have one more thing in common??

but seriously, dp and i hardly ever have sex at night. it is almost always in the daytime, when dd is napping. she passes out all over the house, so we just tiptoe into another room. it's kind of fun- i get all giggly and am like, shhh! don't wake dd!


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## michillimackinac (Oct 4, 2008)

It seems like this would be a situation where premature ejaculation is not such a bad thing.


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## Jade's Mom (Aug 8, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Marylizah* 
I think sex doesn't have to happen on a bed!









You learn to get creative when you co-sleep!










Quote:


Originally Posted by *michillimackinac* 
It seems like this would be a situation where premature ejaculation is not such a bad thing.









When DD was a baby, we'd do it with her in the bed, often with my hand on her back so she wouldn't wake up.

Now, the couch gets a lot of action







And, now that she's almost 3, we might put a movie on for her downstairs and go up to the bedroom. When that happens, we actually get cuddle-time afterwards, which hasn't happened in a couple of years, and I didn't realize how much I missed it.

We've also been known to find a quiet place to park on the rare occasion when we have family in from out of town babysitting. Of course, we did that before she was born (and may be the reason WHY she was born














we just did it more often


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Caroline P* 
Good question. Early on baby really has no clue, esp when asleep.

And the rocking motion can actually help the baby sleep better, like a bouncy chair.


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## churndash (Mar 25, 2009)

I never felt comfortable to do it with babies in the same room, much less the same bed. I freely admit that's my hangup. It even freaked me out if I realized that the cat was watching!

So for more inhibited types like me, I'd suggest just waiting for the child(ren) to fall asleep and going to another room.


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## felix23 (Nov 7, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mymble* 
You know, I just came in at the end of this thread and thought you meant you were going outside and using the swingset....or DID YOU?!
















No!







I meant the baby swing!


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## MaryLang (Jun 18, 2004)

I think we did a few times when DD#1 was a baby in the co-sleeper, like a few months old. But like pp's said you learn to get creative. We hardly ever use our bed anymore.
Now the tricky part will be as they get older!


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## Talula Fairie (Jan 7, 2005)

Go to another part of the room (the floor), go to another room entirely if you have that option. It doesn't have to happen in the bed. When we only had one and she was very young, sometimes we would put her into her bouncy seat or baby swing (obviously she was asleep in these cases). She would have woken up if we put her in the never-used crib, so we never did that.

I dunno, it's not has hard as it seems. It is hard to have sex in general after kids are born! There just isn't as much time and you can't do it whenever the mood strikes, so that takes away from some of the romance.


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## sarahope (Feb 5, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dahlea* 
*A few desperate times, we've done it while he was nursing while asleep.*


impressive!! I'm trying to think if I could manage this


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## Talula Fairie (Jan 7, 2005)

Ok, I have to admit that I think sex while nursing your baby is just....not....well, I couldn't do it. Not no way not no how. I think it's a little on the creepy side.

I think we've had sex like once with the baby asleep on the other side of the bed...even that I don't like.


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## Curlyfry7 (Jun 20, 2007)

I was honestly thinking about posting about this...

But what if your older DS doesn't sleep much and the baby ONLY sleeps in contact with you and then VERY lightly????? We truly have not figured out how it can happen! (and note the baby's age!) We also don't really have anyone to watch them for an "adult evening" either.


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## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

Our youngest are 6 and 2 and sleep in our room. We have sex in our bed and have done for a long time. Calming a babe with a quick boob halfway through is not unheard of here either.









Nowadays we end up doing it very late at night when we hope our teenagers are asleep or during the day when the girls are watching stuff on BBCiPlayer.

If you never want to have sex with a child less than 10 ft from you, you might not get any for months which I wouldn't like but wouldn't bother some folks I guess.


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## zoeyzoo (Jul 6, 2007)

We have 2 beds since dd never liked a crib or pack and play. We just use the other one when she's sleeping.


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## Sasharna (Nov 19, 2008)

Too soon after birth for outright sex yet... but I cosleep in baby's room, then after he dozes off I leave him there and go to the master br for a bit with DP. If baby falls asleep in my arms I will sometimes put him in the bouncy chair for an evening nap, too.


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## Talula Fairie (Jan 7, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Curlyfry7* 
I was honestly thinking about posting about this...

But what if your older DS doesn't sleep much and the baby ONLY sleeps in contact with you and then VERY lightly????? We truly have not figured out how it can happen! (and note the baby's age!) We also don't really have anyone to watch them for an "adult evening" either.









Then you live without sex for a little while. It's a bummer. Sometimes you can try and you'll get lucky, the baby will sleep alone for a short period. My kids were like that but I could generally get away with just a few minutes on occasion. Baby swings/bouncy seats/even sometimes an infant carseat seemed to make them feel more secure and increase the chances that they'd stay asleep.

Also remember that your baby may change at any time, from month to month or even day to day. What your baby will do one day is not what they will do another day.


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## KnittingTigers (Mar 16, 2007)

For the first six months, she just slept through it. In fact, a couple times we tried to put her down in her crib, just so we could be alone in bed, only to have her wake up, disrupt our, um, activities, but then fall soundly asleep next to us as soon as we brought her into bed. So for awhile, we just did it while she slept next to us.

Now she's 9 months, and wakes more easily. She usually sleeps in a crib at the foot of our bed, and honestly, I don't really relax very much if we try to have sex while she's sleeping there - I'm just too afraid of waking her up, and don't end up enjoying sex very much.

Recently, we put an old futon mattress on the living room floor, under her play rug, for her to roll around and play on during the day. It's actually turned out to be our play area of choice as well.







Much softer than just having sex on the floor! We just wait until she's asleep in the bedroom, and then, rendezvous on the living room floor.


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## Aubergine68 (Jan 25, 2008)

We encouraged our babies to have another nap spot than the family bed (usually a playpen). Whenever they went to sleep without us, including the early evening nap







, we'd start them in their napping place, leaving the bedroom free for adult time. Then before we went to bed, we'd wake baby if necessary, feed and change baby, and then all go to bed together.

Now we have two family beds. There is a queen futon on the floor of the boys' room that is officially ds2's bed(he's now almost 3 yrs). He usually goes to sleep with his brother and sister cuddled up to him, though they do have their own beds, too. Sometimes, I lie down with them for stories and cuddles until they fall asleep. Then, as/if the children wake up in the night, they come to our room where we have a queen and twin pushed together.


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## To-Fu (May 23, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *churndash* 
I never felt comfortable to do it with babies in the same room, much less the same bed. I freely admit that's my hangup. It even freaked me out if I realized that the cat was watching!

So for more inhibited types like me, I'd suggest just waiting for the child(ren) to fall asleep and going to another room.

I hear that! Except I just don't look at the cat when she's being weird and staring. What is up with cats, anyway?









Anyway, isn't this what couches and guest rooms are for? And baby monitors?


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## tessie (Dec 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Talula Fairie* 
Ok, I have to admit that I think sex while nursing your baby is just....not....well, I couldn't do it. Not no way not no how. I think it's a little on the creepy side.

I think we've had sex like once with the baby asleep on the other side of the bed...even that I don't like.

Agreed! Although I have never had sex with the baby in the same room. For me a child shouldn't have to witness its parents copulating, regardless of its age.

It amuses me somewhat that some people insist their child remembers their birth but don't seem concerned that they might remember this.


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## purplemoon (Sep 24, 2008)

Well, in some cultures (ie nomadic ones for sure) it happens frequently.

I am not advocating it, but then I just remembered that when ds was a newborn, yes we had sex while he was sleeping in the same room.

BTW, cats stare, dogs are worse. My dog thinks I am getting attacked and barks.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tessie* 
It amuses me somewhat that some people insist their child remembers their birth but don't seem concerned that they might remember this.

Having a baby who was awake when she was born and is soothed to sleep by "this", I'm confused why you would think those believes are incompatible?

Although, if you look at the switch to narrative memory, it suggests that things that happen to babies--e.g. birth, being worn, or getting tickled--will be retained somewhere in the unconscious while things they only observe--e.g. everything else--won't stick around once narrative memory is formed. Not that I have any real source for this since I can't for the life of me find the article that I was told about.


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## Ziggysmama (Dec 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
Having a baby who was awake when she was born and is soothed to sleep by "this", I'm confused why you would think those believes are incompatible?

Although, if you look at the switch to narrative memory, it suggests that things that happen to babies--e.g. birth, being worn, or getting tickled--will be retained somewhere in the unconscious while things they only observe--e.g. everything else--won't stick around once narrative memory is formed. Not that I have any real source for this since I can't for the life of me find the article that I was told about.

ppsssst...she is talking about having sex while you are nursing...


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## purplemoon (Sep 24, 2008)

Ok, so I decided to play baby for a moment. I am nursing at my mothers breast, content. It is dark and I am sleepy and warm. Daddy is close by, there is slight motion. I am full and fall to sleep.

Yup, while I think later it can be disturbing, even an awake infant doesn't get it without context.


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## artgoddess (Jun 29, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *missjessicajames* 
ditto... wasn't until I was a momma that I realized a swing would be the most essential addition to my sex life









heh, heh, heh

eta: Oh you mean a swing for the baby, never mind.


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## amandaleigh37 (Jul 13, 2006)

When DS slept in our bed, we would move to the floor & be very quiet







He never woke up. Or we'd move to the living room & leave him in bed asleep (using a monitor so we'd hear if he started stirring).


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## Gentle~Mommy :) (Apr 21, 2009)

I'm 45 with a baby and a toddler, I am not having much sex! having said that, I don't have a problem with some quiet sex while we co-sleep, but our swinging from the chandlier days are over.









I couldn't nurse and have sex at the same time though, it would be like having a threesome with my baby and that grosses me out. We have a king size bed and scootch over as fas a possible away from them.


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## shayinme (Jan 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Curlyfry7* 
I was honestly thinking about posting about this...

But what if your older DS doesn't sleep much and the baby ONLY sleeps in contact with you and then VERY lightly????? We truly have not figured out how it can happen! (and note the baby's age!) We also don't really have anyone to watch them for an "adult evening" either.










My youngest was like your baby, we had very little sex until she started going to daycare pt at 13 mos and even then it was a quick afternoon delight before picking her up. Even now at almost 4 it still takes planning because she has wonky sleep habits and though she is in her own bed and room, often will cry out at the most inconvenient time.


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## Amber Lion (Sep 22, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *purplemoon* 
Ok, so I decided to play baby for a moment. I am nursing at my mothers breast, content. It is dark and I am sleepy and warm. Daddy is close by, there is slight motion. I am full and fall to sleep.

Yup, while I think later it can be disturbing, even an awake infant doesn't get it without context.


This is why I don't have any qualms for my DD's sake at a quick nurse back to sleep while DTD if it comes to it. It can be uncomfortable for ME though, so I'd rather she just didn't wake up.







We still have sex with her in the bed and asleep, but we also enjoy other rooms in our house. So far it doesn't feel uncomfortable, but we'll stop once it does. I think it's all about your own comfort level.


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## georgia (Jan 12, 2003)

This is an interesting article


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## Magelet (Nov 16, 2008)

I think in some ways it MUST be a cultural thing. I mean, there throughout time, have been and still are, groups and cultures and places where the entire family lives in one room (not just one sleeping room, but one room). Sometimes, more than just family, but huge extended families, and even unrelated people. Folks still have children, and more than 1 child, in those circumstances, and I'm sure its not all when older children are out of the house, or mom and dad are out of the house. probably just when folks are sleeping.

For instance in the middle ages, the lord and lady might get to sleep on a bed on a dais, sometimes even they might have a curtain. Everybody else (servants, visitors, relatives, guards) got to sleep with a blanket on the floor, next to tons of other people. The Lord and Lady weren't the only ones to get pregnant. I'm sure that there was a culture of politely ignoring any such goings-on that one observed. I'm not sure that it is all that weird (outside of a standard western cultural context) in general for children or even other adults one lives with to observe and ignore one having sex.

That being said, I was raised in this western culture where sex is private, and taboo, and while I'm sure that I will resort to sex with baby in the bed when have children, the idea of sex in the same room as even sleeping older children, or touching baby is to me gross. But I get that this is a cultural construction, and not innately gross. Though I heard my parents having sex in the next room a fair bit as a kid, and I think I once peeked to make sure they were ok, though I vaguely remember this, and I did NOT like hearing it, though I didn't know what IT was. I was probably about 6. It would keep me awake at night.


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## Say (Feb 19, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *To-Fu* 
I hear that! Except I just don't look at the cat when she's being weird and staring. What is up with cats, anyway?










I don't know! I thought mine were the only ones that got on the bed and stared.


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## Jade's Mom (Aug 8, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Curlyfry7* 
I was honestly thinking about posting about this...

But what if your older DS doesn't sleep much and the baby ONLY sleeps in contact with you and then VERY lightly????? We truly have not figured out how it can happen! (and note the baby's age!) We also don't really have anyone to watch them for an "adult evening" either.









My dd was similar. If I could get her to sleep in her bouncy seat, we'd use that time. Once, we did it while she was on one side, we were on the other. When she started to wake up, I put my hand on her back and she settled back to sleep and we continued. Not the most comfortable or ideal situation, but once started, we weren't about to stop...not in the early days when it was so hard to find ANY time. You take what you've got.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *purplemoon* 
Ok, so I decided to play baby for a moment. I am nursing at my mothers breast, content. It is dark and I am sleepy and warm. Daddy is close by, there is slight motion. I am full and fall to sleep.

Yup, while I think later it can be disturbing, even an awake infant doesn't get it without context.









: Now that dd is 2 1/2, we don't do anything where she could see us. She might have seen us once or twice (we were under the covers) and might have seem something similar on the TV. Now we occassionally see her place one doll on top of the other and she says "they are kissing." THAT makes me uncomfortable for her to be doing that at such a young age, so now we are REALLY careful.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ziggysmama* 
ppsssst...she is talking about having sex while you are nursing...

Right... so then the baby would remember what happened *too* the baby--namely being nursed in bed, like happens every night, and being rocked, which happens not as often as daddy and mommy want.









But would forget the observed things--namely mommy and daddy's silly faces.


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## bright-midnight (Mar 26, 2007)

When DD was little, we would put her in her bouncy seat or her swing while she was sleeping.

Now that she's 2.5 we put her in a toddler safe and gated off room with Toy Story playing. It's her favorite movie, so we don't have to worry about her trying to escape or anything like that. The whole world stops when Buzz Lightyear is on tv









She normally will not sleep without me (now that she is way too big for her bouncy seat and swing), so we do what works for us!


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## bluegirl91695 (Aug 30, 2008)

I used to complain to my dh that we always had sex in bed and I wanted to be more spontaneous or adventurous so co-sleeping has helped me in this department. We use other rooms of the house and now that the weather is warming up I am looking forward to maybe going out on the deck.


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## mckittre (Jan 15, 2009)

I do actually live in a one room house, so I'll have to see how this works out when my little baby gets older. Right now he's very small and only sleeps while in physical contact with us, but we've managed a little time when he's playing happily in another part of the room.


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## Tari Mithrandir (Sep 22, 2008)

Only when DD is in her crib napping. Never with her in the room!


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## angelamariebee (Jun 20, 2008)

We may have attempted it once or twice with DD in the bed when she was an infant but I was never totally comfortable with it. I need DD out of my sight completely to stop being mommy and start being.. well I can't think of a word for it, but you know! lol

If she's asleep in our bed, it's the couch for us. Now that she's almost three we might sneak away for a quickie in bed while she's watching a movie or having lunch.









Oh and I wanted to add that once DD started sleeping in her toddler bed (in our room) we were so excited to start having sex in OMG! THE BED again. Then once we did I was like, "Oh, this isn't as great as I thought it would be." I think I may prefer the couch, teehee.


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## habitat (Jan 17, 2009)

Hot topic, for sure. I'm so glad that many parents are open enough to discuss this!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tessie* 
Agreed! Although I have never had sex with the baby in the same room. For me a child shouldn't have to witness its parents copulating, regardless of its age.

It amuses me somewhat that some people insist their child remembers their birth but don't seem concerned that they might remember this.

Wait... what's so gross about "copulation"? How on earth does loving, consensual sex compare to the trauma of a negative birth experience? Sex is how all (okay, most) babies get here, after all! In my eyes, the taboo around sexuality is *definitely* culturally specific. I think a lot of this has to do with the cultural obsession surrounding all things pedophilia. There is a lot of confusion around what's to be considered "creepy".

Please don't misunderstand me - Of course, we must protect our children from instances and scenarios in which they might be taken advantage of and which might hurt them. We must protect the gift, so to speak. As children get older, it's more than wise to reevaluate boundaries to avoid discomfort (nobody wants to feel like there's even a *smidgen* of a chance that they're sexually attracted to their children, hence the fear). Growing children will require increasing amounts of privacy regarding such personal issues pertaining to their bodies and their own sexuality.

But I also don't feel like the reality of sex is something we should go out of our way to hide from children, or make them feel scared of in the context of consenting adults. That's how adolescence and young adults walk into abusive situations: they've often grown up in households with scared parents - parents from very private traditions who, as a result of their fear and the way it is perpetuated by society, refused to confront the reality of sex and the difference between loving, consensual sex and abuse. Besides
the obligatory "talk", which occurs maybe once in the life of an adolescent, most parents are still largely ignoring the huge, unavoidable, momentous, *beautiful* role that sex and sexuality play in their everyday lives from conception forward.

All this to say that in my opinion, gentle sex between loving partners, especially parents, while nursing an infant is not inappropriate. In fact, the two are intrinsically linked. As far as imprinting, it is my belief that if the baby is going to remember anything as a result of her/his presence, it's the feelings of safety and love that are inherent in a healthy sexual experience.


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## ann_of_loxley (Sep 21, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Marylizah* 
I think sex doesn't have to happen on a bed!









You learn to get creative when you co-sleep!










This - though we also do have sex in the bed too.

Our bed is big enough and one of those nicely firm beds where they show you on the advert a full wine class standing on one side of the bed and a small child jumping up and down the other side of the bed - and the wine never spills....

Yeah well...its the same for sex lmao









Once my DS is out - he is out. Perhaps this is because we never made it quiet and all dark and 'sleepy' for sleep times. He is used to falling asleep anywhere and once he is asleep you can send a marching band through the room and he will not stir. So sex _in_ the bed is also a possibility.


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## SpiderMum (Sep 13, 2008)

We usually have sex in the spare room. There is a double bed in there that we had before we got the queen. In our room, there is the queen sized and then the crib is side-carred to our bed. I haven't had sex in the same room as her at this point...but I have "fooled around" while she was sleeping away peacefully. She's asleep and it's dark....she might hear a little bit of hustling, but that's it.


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## LionessMom (Mar 12, 2008)

i just have to add my







:

DH was unsure of cosleeping at first but quickly warmed to it as the only way to get some sleep. the same was about DTD. we do it in the bed next to her. she sleeps in a sidecarred crib. she has never woke up while we were DTD either except once or twice when she was NB she did have to be nursed back down. i wasnt really comfortable with that but ...

they dont know and arent going to remember. i did read somewhere that the smell from the hormones that are released by the parents are calming and beneficial to a babies brain. dont ask me where i seen it. i just remember having read it somewhere.


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## Ellen Griswold (Feb 27, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *To-Fu* 
I hear that! Except I just don't look at the cat when she's being weird and staring. What is up with cats, anyway?









The staring isn't the problem. It's the pouncing at repetitive motions that have me worried.


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## GradysMom (Jan 7, 2007)

my only requirement seems to be seperate matresses...

to those who nurse and...







... well wow...glad I didn't have to go there. I have jumped up nursed...run back to action and apparently concieved







:


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## AKA_PI (Oct 16, 2007)

I've too have found it difficult to be intimate with a baby. he sleeps in his crib but has the tendency to wake up just when the gettin' is gettin' good.







A couple of times he has woke up and "caught" us. I've learned that just as soon as he goes to sleep is the best time because he's in a deep sleep and I too can get some sleep right afterwards.


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## bauchtanz (Nov 15, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
Yup, I honestly can't remember the last time I had sex in a bed.

I can't remember the last time I had SEX.

With #1 she never slept. Seriously - she is wired strange. WOke at the slightest noise. It wasn't until we moved back to our hometown and DD would spend an hour or so at grandma and grandpa.

Now, we have a new one as well and with 2 - I would love to figure out how one has time. (I work all day so my evening as spent under piles of laundry while DH tackles the dishes)

I was actually telling DH tonight "YOu know the rules. We can start to think about sex again when the youngest is about 3" DS is nearly 3 months and it has been that long.


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## romamama (Mar 19, 2008)

We put ds in the side car but we have just scooted him over on the other end before.


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## elismum1908 (Jun 5, 2008)

glad to see we're not the only one to push the baby to the side and do it with him there. of course this can't go on forever, i know! but DS does start the night in his crib and naps in his crib so there's some time.


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## atlambert (Apr 22, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *felix23* 
This is where the swing comes in handy for us!


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## atlambert (Apr 22, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Magelet* 
Though I heard my parents having sex in the next room a fair bit as a kid, and I think I once peeked to make sure they were ok, though I vaguely remember this, and I did NOT like hearing it, though I didn't know what IT was. I was probably about 6. It would keep me awake at night.











I really hated hearing mom in the next room, but my parents were divorced, so it was mom and various boyfriends. Ugh.

DH never heard anything, but he remembers parents' bedroom door was locked on sat mornings, and the kids knew why, and not to bother them.


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## flowers (Apr 8, 2004)

I can't help but remember that scene in The Last of the Mohicans where the main character rolls over in the giant teepee and catches the medicine man and his wife dtd. They both look at him like, "yes, can we help you?" with a little sly grin on their faces and he rolls over.

Sex is normal and the more you treat it so the more it is.


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## Talula Fairie (Jan 7, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flowers* 
I can't help but remember that scene in The Last of the Mohicans where the main character rolls over in the giant teepee and catches the medicine man and his wife dtd. They both look at him like, "yes, can we help you?" with a little sly grin on their faces and he rolls over.

Sex is normal and the more you treat it so the more it is.

That was actually Dances with Wolves I think. I am pretty sure there isn't a scene like that in The Last of the Mohicans, I've seen both movies many times.

Yes, sex is normal but I still don't want to do it in front of my kids, even if they are asleep. I just don't feel comfortable. It has nothing to do with shame.


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## flowers (Apr 8, 2004)

Oh you might be right. I get those two confused even though DWW is way better.

Anyways, Talula, I'm so sorry if you thought my comments were directed at some of the more modest mamas. I just prefer bodily functions to be treated with more of a normal regard. It has to do with the extreme conservative views of my family when I was child.

I think it's normal to seek out privacy when dtd deed and I also think it's normal to go forward with discretion based on the individual situation.


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## PaigeC (Nov 25, 2008)

I agree with sex outside the bathroom! It is fun! I also have no problem with dtd in bed with 12week old dd. I read somewhere that they won't be conscious of it until around 10 months.

Another thing, if I can be bold and give TMI for a minute. I convinced DH that quickies are fun and he doesn't always have to blow my mind at his prowess at extended forplay. If you know what I mean.









bow chicka ba wow


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## Talula Fairie (Jan 7, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flowers* 
Oh you might be right. I get those two confused even though DWW is way better.

Anyways, Talula, I'm so sorry if you thought my comments were directed at some of the more modest mamas. I just prefer bodily functions to be treated with more of a normal regard. It has to do with the extreme conservative views of my family when I was child.

I think it's normal to seek out privacy when dtd deed and I also think it's normal to go forward with discretion based on the individual situation.

We're not conservative really in that regard, I teach my kids about body parts and such (they're still too young for the birds and the bees talk, though they do know the baby in my belly is going to come out my vagina, they have even seen birth videos that show the whole shebang). We don't walk around naked (well, the kids do sometimes, lol) but I don't think it's a big whoop if my kids see us getting out of the shower or something.

I just don't like to have sex rightnext to my kids, it kinda ruins it for me a little bit. We've done it on the floor though when they were sleeping back when we lived in a tiny apartment with a roommate.

Everyone has their own comfort level.


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