# another sleep deprived mommy...



## cubanamami (Mar 8, 2007)

Every time I think I am at the end of the rope with the nighttime wakings/nursings and being SOOOOOO tired I come on here and get support. So here I am again....this time posting, instead of just reading everyone else's stories...hoping for some solace.

I am so cranky and tired and miserable and bickering with my hubby tonight because of lack of sleep. I even felt angry and detached as I was consoling her during her first waking of the night, which was about 15 minutes after I had put her down.







This then makes me feel guilty for feeling that way, and I have trouble falling asleep thinking about it.

She is teething right now- two top teeth are coming in and it looks pretty inflamed and she is pulling at her ears and face a lot so I have just been trying to be as comforting and loving as possible, BUT after almost 8 months of very little sleep my patience level has definitely diminished. Coupled with my DD's refusal of the bottle, which means very little time without her, and taking care of my 6 month old nephew 2 days a week and trying to fit in working outside the house 1 night a week&#8230;phew&#8230;.I feel like a zombie.

I am going to check out the NCSS and I have moved her to the crib because I wasn't getting much sleep even when she was sleeping in the bed. I also have a routine I try to do every night including a bath, nursing, soft music and singing but it is something I have to get better at doing. I also have a schedule that isn't very consistent which has to do with my personality and I guess it's something I need to get better at myself. Her bedtime ritual usually starts around 9pm and she is usually sleeping by 10pm. Lately, she wakes up around 11/12 then 3, sometimes 4, 5/6 and is up for awhile at 7 and then back to sleep for awhile around 8.

Her naps aren't scheduled but are usually around 10, 2 and 4/5 and sometimes even a late one before her bedtime. I think she may sleep too much during the day because the best night time sleeping usually occurs after a busy day at a family party or something when she hasn't napped that much during the day but I am so tired that I look forward to those naps as down time for me, especially when I have the two babies to watch.

So, any thoughts, good wishes, "I've been there&#8230;" would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks for _listening_
Cubanamami


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## crh'smama (Aug 6, 2007)

All I can say is, I feel you! My DS is 7 months and we have nearly the same schedule, but he goes to bed around eight. I would highly suggest moving up your bedtime routine to around seven and get her to bed by eight. Or earlier. She sounds overtired. Teething is something we haven't experienced yet, but I'm sure that adds alot of stress. Also I highly suggest reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. It's a great book about how children and babies sleep and physiological stuff. Tons of good info. Although, he is an advocate of crying it out so babies 'learn' to fall asleep on thier own. Which I don't nessacarily agree with. But, nonetheless, alot of helpful info! Good Luck! I definitly feel for you!


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## momma-d (Feb 2, 2007)

I agree with the pp about trying an earlier bedtime.
I'm sooooo in the same boat as you! DD is a year old (as of today!), teething, and she won't go to sleep with anyone else...must have boob...but, we did work really hard to establish a bedtime ritual and it seems to help. She's usually conked out by 8-8:30. Before we set up her ritual, she'd be up until we went to bed, basically, and she was so over-tired it took forever for her to fall asleep, and she didn't really stay asleep very well, either. No Cry Sleep Solution is a good read. No cio in it, at all...
HTH!


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## nina_yyc (Nov 5, 2006)

I'm in the same boat as you. I'm having a hard time implementing the earlier bedtime though...when I try to put her down at 8 I just end up rocking and nursing for two very frustrating hours, but closer to 9 she goes down easy. Guess it's just a matter of finding the sweet spot.


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## S.Lee (Jan 27, 2007)

sending hugs! hang in there. It got better for me for a while, but ds is now teething again and waking up all night. I had trouble remembering how to operate my car today, got 3 things at the grocery store and just decided to come home.


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## cubanamami (Mar 8, 2007)

Thanks for everyone's comments so far. I will check out the books mentioned and I did take the suggestion to try starting the schedule eariler in the evening tonight. It worked like a dream in getting her down: we started a bath at 7pm and she didn't even make it through a story she was tugging at my shirt to nurse. She ate a good amount, fell asleep around 8pm, went into the crib no problem.

ALAS, only to wake up 1/2 hour later at 8:30 and for the next 45 minutes I've been lulling her back to sleep by alternately nursing or rocking/soothing, trying to put her back down in the crib, at which point she'd wake up screaming. And my babe is so agile that she is right away practically climbing out of the crib so no chance in soothing her while she is still laying down.

I do have to say last night I got her at around 1am and went into the guest bedroom with her to sleep and we both got a pretty good one. I mean I feel rested at least even though I vaguely recall her waking around 3/4 and 6. So I guess another option is co-sleeping the second half of the night in the guest room so at least we can spread out a little.

I guess I should go read the thread about sleeping in seperate bed from your spouse...







:

Thanks again, it picks my spirits up just to know it's not just us!
S.Lee- your day sounds similar to mine! I drove back and forth around town with the two kids in the back because I couldn't "remember" what side of the street my bank was on...doh!


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## kaspar (Nov 9, 2005)

i will second or third the earlier bedtime recommendation. i was putting lo to bed at 10 when i went to bed, now that he's on solids we start dinner around 6 or 6:30, he is out like a light at 7:30, and wakes in the morning at the same time as he did when he went to bed at 10.

i would suggest instead of sleeping in a seperate room from your spouse, get him to be the one to go and soothe the babe.... i know with our lo, if he sees or smells me he wants to nurse, even if hunger isn't the problem that woke him up, and then gets frustrated because nursing didn't solve the problem. but if my husband checks on him, he just burps him or whatever and he settles right back down. we just moved lo out of our bed and allof us are sleeping a lot better as a result... when lo is in the same room as me all he does is snuff around looking for boob all night and doesn't sleep a wink!


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## crh'smama (Aug 6, 2007)

Keep going with the eight-ish bed time. Also in the Healthy Sleep book are numerous techniques and tactics to soothe and to slowly transition your soothing to where you may have to just go in and rub her head and say shhh shhh, eventually. It's such a long hard, arduous, frustrating process. Again, good luck, and hang in. Also, my hubby getd DS more awake, and then I have an even harder time putting him back down!! I think he thinks, 'Daddy=playtime!!! Wooo Hooo!!' (hugs)







:


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## cubanamami (Mar 8, 2007)

crh'smama and kaspar: Thanks for the good wishes again.

Tonight went good so far - bath by 7, sleeping in crib by 8. Up for a minute again at 8:30 but then right back down. We'll see what happens...

Daddy going in works sometimes because then she doesn't feel the need to nurse. He usually rocks her and after 10 min or so he can put her back down. But so far at some point in the night, he's no longer good enough- she wants me and my boob! She's on solids too and lately has been eating more and more at a sitting. She's getting in some extra calories which I hoped would help too. We are trying a similar routine: family dinner, bath, peaceful time, nursing then bed. I used to be able to put her in when she was still slightly awake but lately she has to be pretty much asleep.

One other thing I noticed- she has a spurt of hyper energy after dinner. Which apparently I used to have when I was little too. Tonight we played "catch me if you can" crawling to tire her out a little bit. It allowed me to go from the bath to sleep much more quickly than before.


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## D_McG (Jun 12, 2006)

If you sleep well with her in the guest room then what is stopping you from bringing her back to your bed? You could sidecar your crib or something for extra room.

Our day at that age followed this 2..3..4 pattern that's common. First nap 2 hours after waking. Second nap 3 hours after waking from first nap. Bedtime 4 hours after waking from second nap.

Things really started to settle down for us around 11 mos and by 13 mos he was (is) waking once or twice.

Hang in there!


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## cubanamami (Mar 8, 2007)

D_McG. Thanks for the 2,3,4 pattern. That is kind of what she followed today. I just got done reading an article about trying to make the awake period before bed the longest, which follows along with this.

Before I wasn't really paying attention to a schedule I was just taking cues from her but now with the earlier bed time I realize that what I thought was her cue for her last nap of the day was really her way of telling me she was ready for bed for the night!

We don't have much room in our bedroom for anything next to the bed except for the bassinet which she is now too big for. Last night the second half of the night we all co-slept in the same bed and it worked. Sometimes I just feel like none of us get good sleep and I'd at least like hubby to feel rested so we aren't both zombies.

Thanks again for the advice.


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## nina_yyc (Nov 5, 2006)

I've been doing the earlier bedtime for 3 days now and she's still walking up, but she did seem a bit easier to get back to sleep the first couple times last night - I didn't offer to nurse and she didn't mind as long as she was getting bounced and cuddled. She did wake right up at about 5am though, but I do feel like we're making progress. I shifted her naps later so hopefully she'll be wiped out for bedtime instead of going for a third nap. Stay tuned...


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## cubanamami (Mar 8, 2007)

nina-yyc: Our experience the last few days sounds similar, except luckily the wake up time is around 7am. And then the last two days our schedule somehow got mixed up...today she slept for two hours in the late afternoon, woke up around 5:30pm. I told my husband to wake us up from our nap after 15 minutes but he fell asleep too. So now it's almost 7 and she seems wide awake. Of course I'll have trouble falling asleep tonight too now.









It's been so rainy and icky here that we've been cooped up in the house so it's also messing us up because she usually takes a long nap in the morning during our walk but lately she only sleeps for 1/2 hour.


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## Elipsisqueen (May 7, 2007)

Whenever I was at my wit's end, I'd realize why things were so bad-- teething. Have you tried tylenol before bed? I'm going through it now myself.









Also, read this article and you'll feel better...

http://www.news.harvard.edu/gazette/...enNeedTou.html

HUGS TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## ladybug13 (Oct 29, 2005)

Not much advice.... but a huge "I've been there/I'm there right now" for you.

DS (3 in Nov.) was a horrible sleeper. I cried myself to sleep many nights because I was so overtired and frustrated. We tried everything but he did not sleep through the night until he was close to 1 and even then it was sporadic. Now at almost-3, he is a fairly good sleeper - he has awesome 2-3 hour naps still and generally sleeps well at night. Since our DD arrived, he has started waking up during the night requiring DH to go sleep with him.

DD is 4 months old and we are co-sleeping. She is a gassy baby and thrashes throughout the night. Even if she's asleep, I'm awake because of the movement/noise. She will also wake herself up with her hands because she has them on her face or in her mouth. We swaddle her because of this but it is really just the lesser of two evils because she HATES the swaddle. I shudder to think about weaning from it. Naps are very irregular too. She only generally naps for 30 min - 1 hour and every 3-4 days we get a good one that lasts over 2 hours. She ALWAYS wakes within 30 minutes of going to sleep (nap and bedtime) and requires recurrent soothing sessions consisting of rocking/bouncing, pacifier, nursing, Shhh-ing, etc. By the end of the evening, I'm frustrated and exhausted. I don't know how the heck we're going to move her to her crib (which happens to be in DS's room because they will be sharing a room - a whole other issue with regards to sleep).

Anyway, just wanted to share with you that you're not alone..... Sleeping issues SUCK.


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## cubanamami (Mar 8, 2007)

We got a 5 hour stretch last night! WOOOHOOOOO! I am almost afraid to type it though and jinx it








We were at a BBQ from 4:30 to 8:30pm, came home, she nursed to sleep and then I put her down in the crib. Went online and checked out Dr. Sears website for some reading and saw a tip I used to do, and decided to try it again- don't know why I ever stopped- to 'wake" baby to feed when I am on my way to bed.
So I picked her up at 11pm, put her to the breast, she ate a decent amount, pulled off on her own, and Iput her down and went to bed.
Next thing I know I wake to her cries, roll over ask my husband what time it is and he excitedly says "It's 5am!" We were so excited. And today I felt so great. Took care of my nephew which I usually barely make it through the day, but today was fine.
So hope tonight is more of the same- I also gave her tylenol because she was teething a lot today- drooling, rubbing her face, etc.
And hope everyone else's journeys are going ok..


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## hammerwest60610 (Mar 18, 2007)

I too agree with everyone on the earlier bedtime - try starting the ritual about an hour before your target sleep time. For example I start around 6:30 with a bath, music, nursing etc. before she is asleep around 7:15 or 7:30. She does still wake 3 times a night to nurse. What about trying to get someone to come in for a few hours so you can get some sleep?


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## nina_yyc (Nov 5, 2006)

So glad to hear you're having success! That must feel so good.

We're still working through it...DD got way off course over the weekend because she missed a couple of naps.

I might still go earlier with her bedtime - she is still desperately tired at 8:00 so we might have to try 7:30.

Either way, DD is getting more sleep now so something good is going on


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## cubanamami (Mar 8, 2007)

The 5 hrs stretch must have been due to the party- hasn't happened again. I guess we'll just have to have a party/find a party every day









nina- I might try even earlier too because the last two times I've gotten in the bath with the LO she tried to nurse right there and then! Hahaha. It's just hard to squeeze everything in. As it was tonight we barely finished dinner before the ritual began.

hammerwest- thanks- I am going to try even earlier. We actually live with my mother so she is more than willing to help it's just that another "quirk" of my dd is that she refuses the bottle/sippycup/etc so it's my boob or nothin'. My stubborn little girl...


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## hammerwest60610 (Mar 18, 2007)

yes, my daughter will also not want anything but breastfeeding at bedtime (and most other times). It is stressful sometimes because you feel like you are really the only one capable of getting the baby to sleep at night. As far as eating dinner goes (adults and other children), can that wait until after the baby goes to sleep?
It does make dinner time sort of late, but then you can enjoy your dinner without feeling like you have to rush through it. We used to have dinner with the baby but it just got too hard - she was too tired. Now, she goes to sleep and and then we feed ourselves.


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## nina_yyc (Nov 5, 2006)

I'm not going to speak to the UA violation on here, but just wanted to let you all know that DD's sleep problems are getting better, or at least plateauing. Or, I should say, MY problems with DD's sleep









With the earlier bedtime she's down to 3-4 wakings. Yes, DOWN to 3-4 wakings. Our naps have gotten thrown off though, so once I get a better routine going I expect to see more improvement.

I think we're getting better as the novelty of crawling wears off and she realizes it's not something you do in your sleep.


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