# How do you put LO to bed before you?



## veganone (May 10, 2007)

I can't figure out how to get DD down before I go to bed. I really need some time in the evenings to get stuff done and to get myself ready for bed, but DD just wakes up within a few minutes of being put down (after I've laid with her until she's out and crept out of the room). I put a rolled up blanket on each side since she seems to do better that way (have also tried without), but she just pops awake within 5 or 10 minutes. She also needs an earlier bed time just to make sure she's getting enough sleep at night.

She will nap in her bouncy seat or swing, but at night she's got mommy radar and just doesn't want to sleep without me.


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## earthgirl (Feb 6, 2006)

How old is she? We didn't start putting DD to bed until she was about 6 mos. We just wore her in the evenings if we had stuff to do. It took a LONG time to get her to stay asleep in bed w/out us there. Even now (13 mos), it's not always a sure thing. Probably not what you want to hear, but I think what your DD is doing is pretty normal.


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## HollyBearsMom (May 13, 2002)

I will probaly get slammed for this but thats what we used a crib and/or pack and play for.







:

Our son is 6 and we still co-sleep but when he was a baby and falling a sleep at 6:30 at night that was just WAY top early for me and I never felt safe leaving him alone on our the bed. So he would go down in his crib at 6:30 and when he woke up for a feeding around midnight or so I would bring him into to bed with us. Worked great!!


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## happyhippiemama (Apr 1, 2004)

your LO is only 3 months, right? And was born early?

Give it some time yet, mama. I don't think I was able to leave DD while she was sleeping AT ALL (naps or anything) until she was over a year old. Hope YMWV!!


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## celestialdreamer (Nov 18, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *happyhippiemama* 
your LO is only 3 months, right? And was born early?

Give it some time yet, mama. I don't think I was able to leave DD while she was sleeping AT ALL (naps or anything) until she was over a year old. Hope YMWV!!









: My ds is 20 months and we are just now able to have "bedtime" and put him to bed and be able to have kid-free time. He will still wake up after a couple hours if I don't come to bed though. Actually my 3.5 yo still needs a bit of help to get to bed, so it can be much longer than that. I would just try to babywear your LO at this stage.


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## Valkyrie9 (Sep 29, 2006)

I'm with HappyHippieMama and CelestialDreamer--it'll happen, but it is likely too soon. My DD was 8 months old before I could start slipping away from her at naps and bedtime. I'll qualify that by saying she'd nap better for her caregiver during the day (I WOH), and that the CG could rock her down to sleep and put her in a P&P for naps. She'd never to that for me, and you hit the nail on the head when you called it "Mommy Radar."

I guess if you feel like you really have to start getting that time back in the evening, what about getting your DP to put her down at night? Maybe the change in who is getting her to sleep would make a difference. I know that's still the case with my DD--she's much more labor-intensive for me to get down to sleep than it is for my DH or for her teachers at Montessori. HTH!


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## Thalia (Apr 9, 2003)

How long do you wait until she is out before getting up and leaving the room? At first our DD would wake right back up unless you waited until she was in a deeper stage of sleep. Sometimes that would take 15 minutes.

We do the limp arm test: if you can pick up DC's arm and let it go and it falls back limp, the baby is sleepy enough to stay asleep once you put him/her down. If not, wait a little longer and repeat.

Also, is your DC a tummy sleeper? If you feel comfortable with having her sleep on her tummy, she may do better. We started putting DD on her tummy after she kept breaking out of her swaddle. By then she could easily move her head side to side in that position, and she always slept with her head to one side, so we felt comfortable doing it. If we put her on her back, she would often startle herself awake pretty quickly.


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## catters (Nov 20, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HollyBearsMom* 
I will probaly get slammed for this but thats what we used a crib and/or pack and play for.







:

Our son is 6 and we still co-sleep but when he was a baby and falling a sleep at 6:30 at night that was just WAY top early for me and I never felt safe leaving him alone on our the bed. So he would go down in his crib at 6:30 and when he woke up for a feeding around midnight or so I would bring him into to bed with us. Worked great!!


This is exactly us too. Sometimes he has a hard time staying asleep in his crib for very long whereas he'll stay asleep in the swing from 7-11 ish (or when I get him out to go to sleep with me). But he always wakes to eat after a few hours asleep and that's when I usually go too. Good luck! I'm taking it day by day because I'm learning there's no such thing as a pattern when it comes to babies!


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## locksmama (Jun 7, 2007)

I have a similar situation I was going to post about. Our dd is 6 months now and our routine is driving me nuts. DH gets home at 6pm. She eats about then (only rice and carrots so far and she eats only twice a day) She gets a wee tired and nappy but we don't take her downstairs until around 9 so her and my husband can have some time. We take her downstairs for a bath at about 9:30 and then after spend a little time together. Then we take her in for a boob in bed. She then gets up after her snack and we read on the potty (we EC). Then we play a little and she gets cranky so I turn the light off and try to nurse her down to sleep. She eats off of both boobies and then wriggles like mad driving me crazy! I then put her in her crib to work out the energy and when she starts crying I go get her and then usually she'll nurse down at that point after a bit of wriggling at about 11pm or after. I miss all that time with my dh and it is driving me nuts to have to go to bed at 10 pm every night. I love my dd but there has to be something we can change here!


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## homemademomma (Apr 1, 2004)

i have been putting dd down by herself since they were about 6 weeks. what helps the most IMO is having *dp* put dd down. when he is not here, i nurse her to sleep, and then stop nursing her and settle her on my shoulder. when she is in a deep sleep, i lay her down.

if i lay down with her and nurse her while she is sleeping, she will wake up in 30-60 minutes, whereas if i just put her down in a deep sleep, she tends to sleep for at least 2-3 hours. of course sometimes she wakes up when i first put her down, and i have to try again.


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## veganone (May 10, 2007)

Well at least I'm not alone! I have yet to see any evidence of the "deep sleep" that everyone else seems to get - there is no point when I can leave her. I can lay with her for anywhere from 15 minutes to and hour and she will still wake within 5 minutes of my leaving her... She is technically in the limp sleep (you can move her around and she won't wake up), but she will still pop awake in a few minutes...

Maybe we can try having DH put her down. I have been wearing her (or just sitting and holding her) until it's my bedtime, but stuff like washing my face, brushing my teeth, showering, changing clothes - not so much!

We were able to put her in her Amby for her first stretch of sleep, but that hasn't worked the last several weeks. I'd put her down at maybe 9 and move her in bed with us when she woke up for her first feeding at 12 or so.

Edit - Nursing to sleep doesn't work for us - she always wakes up as soon as I slip my nipple out of her mouth. I don't think she really falls asleep since she will keep comfort sucking forever (like an hour) and she tends to be gassy, so she's happier if I burp her after eating.

She's not a tummy sleeper and I've actually tried it. She gets more fussy on her belly - no idea why. I've only gotten her to nap that way once and it was a quick one.

Yes, she's 15 weeks and was 5 weeks early, so she's a bity thing and we are being patient with her. I was just curious since I keep hearing about people who get stuff done after LO goes down at night and it sounds magical!


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## locksmama (Jun 7, 2007)

yes who are those people!? lol I'm wondering if it will work to have dh lay with her now that the schedule is so set? I love nursing her in bed too, just not staying and going throught the rest of the frustrating ordeal. I mean, I potty her and do that stuff all day long, it would just be nice to get a slight break at night is all, or maybe a shared bedtime responsibility. My dh givers her the bath and she likes that, but after all of it it's me and her...maybe dh can start doing the second half of the routine?.....


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## KimPM (Nov 18, 2005)

DS is 2 y.o. and we still have the same problem - probably not what you wanted to hear. He also won't go to sleep until late at night. He has sensory issues and is stimulated to wake up by even the tiniest little thing. In fact, he doesn't sleep near as much as they say the averages are... certainly not as much as we'd like. :yawning:

If you ever get a solution here, I'd sure like to hear it.


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## bemommy (Sep 21, 2003)

It's likely that it's just early. One thing you can try that helps (at least with my 8 month old) is having some kind of white noise or lullaby music on in the bedroom. It might not work for her, or might not work for her yet but you could try it.


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## Justmee (Jun 6, 2005)

I didnt' read all the replies, but I agree with the PP who said it's too early. Babies don't get more regular until about 6 months or so IME. You think they are sleeping for the night and it's a nap. Or you think they will be up at 8pm and they sleep until midnight. I always put my babies to sleep in a crib or PNP when I wasn't going to bed, and just picked them up when they woke up. If it was day I would feed / play and if it was night I would feed / put back in crib (if sleepy) or in bed with me (if I was goign to bed). Double that advice if she was a preemie. My twins were 35 weeks and they didn't get a bit more regular in sleeping until closer to 1. Rivka was around 6 - 9 months I think when I started putting her in bed around 8 and I knew she would sleep until 10 or 12 and then just feed / go back to sleep. My kids didn't switch to an earlier bedtime until 12 - 18m range.


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## mommysusie (Oct 19, 2006)

I have the same problem with my four month old and what I've realized is that even though he just has to be next to me when he falls asleep, in the morning, he will sleep in the bed without me. So, I go to bed with him at 8:00pm, and then set my alarm for 5:00am, get up and do the things that I was going to do the evening before. He sleeps until around 7:00 and I have everything done that I wanted to get done.
This works out great for me!


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## yehudia (Dec 18, 2007)

wow. looks like most of you co-sleepers have the same issue i do.
my son wont sleep without me in my bed. I MUST be there. Or he'll wake up 2 seconds after I leave, even after i finished nursing him, and he already was in a deep sleep.
Its very bad that i cant even go to the bathroom in the middle of the night without him waking up screiching. And my husband is still there, but it doesn't help. And the second i get up in the morning, he's up too.
He naps just fine in a stroller, baby seat, or swing.
I don't get why he wakes up the second i get up when hes in my bed...


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## lovingmommyhood (Jul 28, 2006)

We swaddled our kids and put them in a cradle. My kids have always had a bedtime. We like kid free time. Sue me.


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## HelloKitty (Apr 1, 2004)

I had the same problems with my kids, eventually they did outgrow it and now I can get them to sleep and leave and it's all good but when they were that age it was a rare occasion that I got alone time.

A couple things that worked sometimes for me were putting a warm watter bottle wrapped in a blanket next to the baby and leaving my shirt there - sometimes the warmth and the scent was enough to buy some time. Also making sure the baby was in that "deep" sleep but often by the time that would happen I would fall asleep too


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## veganone (May 10, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lovingmommyhood* 
We swaddled our kids and put them in a cradle. My kids have always had a bedtime. We like kid free time. Sue me.









If that worked, I'd do it... I would have a crying, swaddled baby in a cradle.


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## KimPM (Nov 18, 2005)

yeah, we'd have a screaming 2 y.o. sitting up in bed until I get back in there


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## lovingmommyhood (Jul 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *veganone* 
If that worked, I'd do it... I would have a crying, swaddled baby in a cradle.

Wow, sorry for offering a suggestion.


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## locksmama (Jun 7, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lovingmommyhood* 
We swaddled our kids and put them in a cradle. My kids have always had a bedtime. We like kid free time. Sue me.









You are fortunate








I really wish that would work for us..dd hated being swaddled from the get go and we did have a bedtime until about 4 months old when I weaned her off the nipple shield...that's when the bedtime blues I mentioned began. Now with solids it's all bets off again and tonight she is crazy fussy...last night was awful as she just stirred all night long. I really just don't know what to do here. I love co-sleeping her but I need a moment...I can't do CIO to her or me, but what to do?? The promise of true real sleep is alluring. Sometimes I want to just let her cry and fuss in her crib until she goes to sleep, but who wants to cry thmselves to sleep? sheesh!







:


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## MilkTrance (Jul 21, 2007)

I nurse him down then creep out. If he rustles, I lay a hand on him so that he knows I am around.

I firmly believe that babies have individual sleep patterns and needs that, while similar in some biological aspects, differ in every other! I think this is why some people claim that CIO works -- their children "cry down". A few whimpers and then they're out for the night. Other babies wake up every hour.

My baby, for instance, will stay asleep all night as long as I'm around to nurse him around 1-2 and again around 4 (and again, sometimes -- I don't know the exact times 'cause I don't have a clock in there). I'm a little tired I guess, but it's not a big enough deal that I would ever consider CIO. He never, ever cries at night unless he has a gas pain.

And I don't think I'm doing anything differently from other co-sleepers in my situation. My other friend has a crib-baby and he has slept through the night from about 2 months on. Never CIO'd either.


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## MilkTrance (Jul 21, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *locksmama* 
You are fortunate








I really wish that would work for us..dd hated being swaddled from the get go and we did have a bedtime until about 4 months old when I weaned her off the nipple shield...that's when the bedtime blues I mentioned began. Now with solids it's all bets off again and tonight she is crazy fussy...last night was awful as she just stirred all night long. I really just don't know what to do here. I love co-sleeping her but I need a moment...I can't do CIO to her or me, but what to do?? The promise of true real sleep is alluring. Sometimes I want to just let her cry and fuss in her crib until she goes to sleep, but who wants to cry thmselves to sleep? sheesh!







:

Can your husband take her out on a drive and have her fall asleep in the carseat? When we are VERY tired, and DS is still in "play" mode, we do this. DH takes him out for a drive and brings him back all sleepy. Then, all I have to do is carry him into the bed where I nurse him and he falls asleep. Sometimes he just needs that kick start to sleepytime. Like a warm bath for some people, or a cup of herbal tea or milk for others.


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