# Is there any music that's NOT Ok for kids to listen to?



## BarnMomma (Dec 12, 2008)

I was wondering about this today as DS and I were in the car.

Excluding the obvious- music with violent/sexed up hate filled foul language in it- is there any music you don't allow your children to listen to?

What got me thinking is we had a Beatles CD on and DS (2.5) fell in love with I am the Walrus. Half way through the 3rd time he requested it I began to think if the complexity fo the song is too much for DS? Some songs can actually sound scary I suppose to little ears. But "classic" music always seems so innocent.

I don't know...just was wondering today.


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

Hardcore Gangster Rap is not okay w/me.

Honestly, I've sheltered the kids from some more sad lyrics from say, Kimya Dawson (like her song 12/26) but I tend to like pretty soft music. DP, meanwhile, does a LOT of editing and I think he could do a little bit more.

DD *loved* Les Mis when she was younger (which meant, of course, that DS got to love it too







). We generally skipped over the a couple of the songs dealing with prostitution, though. Then, at 4, we realized she was reading the lyrics in the case when she asked what kind of name "Pimp" was









A friend's DD would sing the Johnny Cash song with "I shot a man in Reno..." which was pretty funny coming from a 5 year old. One of DS' friends got really into Kurt Cobain around 6 years old which was just ODD to me and really more than a little freaky.


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## staceychev (Mar 5, 2005)

Just kind of had the realization that DD (4.5) is really listening to lyrics. The Who's "Behind Blue Eyes" was on the radio, and she wanted to know which "Batman" the guy was singing about...

Anyway, I'm concerned about lyrics, because I believe there is power in language and some things a 4.5YO doesn't need to be aware of. But, I'm not as worried about themes as much as about vulgarity, really.

I'm also concerned with crappy music.







I don't want her exposed to cheesy stuff before her time!


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## Alyantavid (Sep 10, 2004)

The only thing mine don't listen to is rap.

Other than that, they're pretty well stuck listening to whatever dh and I are listening to. My 7 year old loves AFI so we listen to that alot and they both know lots of 30 Seconds to Mars and Incubus, because that's what I listen to. Course they must just be happy with my selections because dh is always listening to NPR.


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## velochic (May 13, 2002)

Well, I think there is a difference between what can be damaging (the sexed-up and violent songs, songs about killing yourself, and the songs that make self-deprecation seem harmless) and what can be entertaining. Better yet is to find music that is enriching.

I personally think that the best music for kids is one that they can be exposed to in order to appreciate the art of music. That doesn't mean it has to be Bach and Mozart and Shostakovitch all the time. Most music has something positive to give to anyone, including kids. I think that any music that brings a kid down... things that promote anything negative... is not good. Kids are such sponges and lyrics are NOT AT ALL lost on them. For us, and this is only my opinion, I would never let dd listen to country music, rap, or heavy metal/speed metal because I can't PERSONALLY find any redeeming qualities in them. Those are not enriching to us, as a family.


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## BarnMomma (Dec 12, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *velochic* 
Well, I think there is a difference between what can be damaging (the sexed-up and violent songs, songs about killing yourself, and the songs that make self-deprecation seem harmless) and what can be entertaining. Better yet is to find music that is enriching.

I personally think that the best music for kids is one that they can be exposed to in order to appreciate the art of music. That doesn't mean it has to be Bach and Mozart and Shostakovitch all the time. Most music has something positive to give to anyone, including kids. I think that any music that brings a kid down... things that promote anything negative... is not good. Kids are such sponges and lyrics are NOT AT ALL lost on them. For us, and this is only my opinion, I would never let dd listen to country music, rap, or heavy metal/speed metal because I can't PERSONALLY find any redeeming qualities in them. Those are not enriching to us, as a family.


What about artists like Tori Amos (one of my personal favs) whose lyrics I think are so obscure that I even have a hard time figuring out what the hell she's going on about? I know that she has some very strong opinions on things way beyond what I want DS exposed to at this age but they are cleverly disguised, most of the time. But music itself, the piano, the rhythm I think is amazing.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

If I'd be embarassed if she sang the lyrics in front of someone, that's probably a good indication that she shouldn't be hearing them.


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## velochic (May 13, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BarnMomma* 
What about artists like Tori Amos (one of my personal favs) whose lyrics I think are so obscure that I even have a hard time figuring out what the hell she's going on about? I know that she has some very strong opinions on things way beyond what I want DS exposed to at this age but they are cleverly disguised, most of the time. But music itself, the piano, the rhythm I think is amazing.

I don't know this artist, so I couldn't really tell you.


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## rachelsmama (Jun 20, 2005)

The only types of music that I try to avoid around the kids are things with lyrics I don't want to explain, or have repeated, and most "children's music", specifically the monotonous, uninspired stuff.

My kids LOVE Johnny Cash.


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## karne (Jul 6, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BarnMomma* 
What about artists like Tori Amos (one of my personal favs) whose lyrics I think are so obscure that I even have a hard time figuring out what the hell she's going on about? I know that she has some very strong opinions on things way beyond what I want DS exposed to at this age but they are cleverly disguised, most of the time. But music itself, the piano, the rhythm I think is amazing.

A little OT, but Tori Amos has a really beautiful winter CD out. I generally hate cheesy holiday music, but this is a beautiful, solstice inspired CD. You might enjoy it. I gave it to my dd for the holidays


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## Porcelain Interior (Feb 8, 2008)

We don't do a lot of the current music that seems to wax poetic about strippers and certain kinds of drinks and basically totally revolving around using and abusing women, or worshipping them as sexual objects. The same for violence, though I've not seen as much of that as I did when I was a teen. (During the Dr. Dre hayday.)


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

We actually don't shelter DD from music. I mean when I was 2 years older then her, I was writing some pretty offensive/violent songs myself.

We do draw a line though... No Psudo-singers who can't carry a tune, write a song and/or play an insturment. No bubble gum pop. Basically none of that new crap they call music.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamazee* 
If I'd be embarassed if she sang the lyrics in front of someone, that's probably a good indication that she shouldn't be hearing them.

I learned this when my daughter was singing "Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off" at the top of her lungs on her way into Vacation Church School.









I stopped listening to a lot of musicals, which is my favorite style, when the kids were singing back the lyrics and I realized how inappropriate it was. Rent, Spring Awakening, Avenue Q. When they were climbing on the table to pretend to light the Advent wreath while singing "We could light the candle" I transferred it all to my MP3 player and made it my gym music.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

By and large, if we listen to it, I have no problem with the kids listening to it. I listen to some stuff that's overly sexual, and try to limit it around the kids, but I don't have a "never play this" policy or anything. If they ask a lot of questions, I'll give them a very simple answer, and then explain that they can get more detail when they're older. I don't really worry that much about being embarrassed by inappropriate quoting of lyrics, though. Kids can find _so_ many other ways to embarrass a parent. My kids don't hear much rap (dh likes a few rap songs, but it's not something I'm into at all), and _very_ little current pop, as we don't listen to the radio. What they hear is when they're at a friend's house.

I took ds1 to see Iron Maiden when he was 7. I'm sure that's outside some people's comfort zone, but Maiden is _huge_ in my life...and ds1 is still a fan. In fact, he went to see them again, with me and dh, last year.


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## jammomma (Nov 17, 2008)

I think this is mostly a matter of personal taste. I wouldn't play Tool or other "heavy" type of music for my son, but then I don't listen to that stuff myself.

My son does hear a lot of hip hop, particularly Outkast, Cee-Lo, etc, all of whom I adore, but then we live in Atlanta so it's only to be expected.









I think exposing my son to as much variety as possible is our goal and then seeing what piques his interest with time. lately I've been playing him old ELO and Beatles too.


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## TulsiLeaf (Nov 23, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jammomma* 
I think this is mostly a matter of personal taste. I wouldn't play Tool or other "heavy" type of music for my son, but then I don't listen to that stuff myself.

My son does hear a lot of hip hop, particularly Outkast, Cee-Lo, etc, all of whom I adore, but then we live in Atlanta so it's only to be expected.









I think exposing my son to as much variety as possible is our goal and then seeing what piques his interest with time. lately I've been playing him old ELO and Beatles too.


I play tool for my kid, and a perfect circle and Tori Amos (she LOVES Tori) and drum and bass and Fleet Foxes (this is what she goes to bed with) and anything else we listen to. I watch out for bad language and that is it.


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## Landover (Oct 12, 2007)

I think everyone knows their own kiddo on this one, and it will change over time. Right now, DS (4) is really trying to understand death and routinely tried out words like kill, die, blood, etc. I would steer him clear of anything that would cause his little brain to explode right now surrounding this kind of stuff.
I should add I have no problem with him talking about this stuff, I am just trying to avoid more confusion and turmoil for him right now.

We generally do all types of music though for both kids from old Prince, Frank Black (may 18 month old loves to sing "Skeleton Man"), to The Beatles.


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## rubidoux (Aug 22, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jammomma* 
My son does hear a lot of hip hop, particularly Outkast, Cee-Lo, etc, all of whom I adore, but then we live in Atlanta so it's only to be expected.









I think Outkast has some really thoughtful stuff, and also pretty accessible and fun for kids, though my six year old doesn't like them.









As for your concern about "I am the Walrus," OP, when I as 4-ish I was terrified by "Elenor Rigby" and "That'll Be the Day." I think it's probably pretty hard to guess what will get under a kid's skin. My ds loves The Beatles and loves their movies (which I can hardly sit through, lol). I'm pretty sure "I am the Walrus" never bothered him.

And whoever said the thing about crappy music... exactly! I would never play any of the really cheesey gimicky not made with real instruments made to make a bunch of money off of kids type music for my littles but I happily play them stuff with certain kinds of "mature content" (I'm much more worried about about glorifying violence than I am about sex.)


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## Tigerchild (Dec 2, 2001)

I generally don't censor anything but songs where every other word is a slur or profanity, or graphic sex or violence.

I also don't think that some kids "get" a lot of even pretty overt (to adults) euphanisms, particularly if they're isolated from most peer groups or people who teach them what it means. I mean, I went though a HUGE monty python fixation when I was 12. I bought a lot of their sketch and song cassettes with my babysitting money. I often greatly enjoyed blasting "Sit On My Face" and singing the lyrics, because I thought it was about sitting on someone's head and farting or something. I had no reference to what "69" or anything else meant. I have to laugh now, because my extremely conservative straight laced parents never said a word (presumably because they didn't want to answer why it was "Bad", but who knows, maybe they didn't get the references either).

I have explained to my kids that different families have different rules for music, just like screen time or movies. No big deal, and my daughter in particular is very good about only playing CDs when her restricted friends are over that they can enjoy.

I'm so not a music snob. I had everything from reggaeton to Chopin to Alphaville to Weird Al (well, okay, a LOT of Weird Al) to Wu Tang Clan to to Twila Paris to Britney to George Strait to Aqua on my Ipod. I look at music the way I do books--sometimes I want serious, sometimes heavy hitting, sometimes inspirational, sometimes raunchy, sometimes I want trance, sometimes I just want ear candy. I'm going to assume that one or more of my children will likely inherit my musical gluttony, no matter what restrictions I place (I was only allowed to listen to hymns, worship music, and classical until I was 11 or so, Monty Python was my first foray into "popular" music. Hahahaha!!!).


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## EFmom (Mar 16, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
I learned this when my daughter was singing "Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off" at the top of her lungs on her way into Vacation Church School.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

The Barney versions. They sound normal, albeit annoyingly nasal, until the end when for no







reason they exclaim the last few words.

For older kids there's plenty of stuff where I wouldn't necessarily want the hassle of dealing with explaining why it's bad to say the stuff the song sang, so I'd turn that off too.


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## east carolina (Apr 5, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tigerchild* 
I mean, I went though a HUGE monty python fixation when I was 12. I bought a lot of their sketch and song cassettes with my babysitting money. I often greatly enjoyed blasting "Sit On My Face" and singing the lyrics, because I thought it was about sitting on someone's head and farting or something.

OMG, Tigerchild







You made my day!

I, too, went through a huge Monty Python phase (ongoing) in my early teens, but I knew what "Sit on My Face" was about.

Anyhoo, I let DS listen to anything, I only screen for extremely explicit lyrics (a couple of "F" words don't bother me) and extremely sexual lyrics, but that's about it. He loves lots of different kinds of music just like we do from opera all the way to rap and in between. Johnny Cash, Prince, Outkast, all of those are staples in our music collection. He also likes the more obscure stuff we're really into, like Red Red Meat and Arcwelder.

We took him to see Tori Amos last year, he loved it.


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## sunnmama (Jul 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tigerchild* 
I mean, I went though a HUGE monty python fixation when I was 12. I bought a lot of their sketch and song cassettes with my babysitting money. I often greatly enjoyed blasting "Sit On My Face" and singing the lyrics, because I thought it was about sitting on someone's head and farting or something. I had no reference to what "69" or anything else meant. I have to laugh now, because my extremely conservative straight laced parents never said a word (presumably because they didn't want to answer why it was "Bad", but who knows, maybe they didn't get the references either)..


















On a recent car trip, I played old Soundgarden, Prince, and Depeche Mode without censoring, but saved Sublime for when the kids were definitely sound asleep. So I guess my line is at Sublime.


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## zinemama (Feb 2, 2002)

The other day the kids were listening to _The White Album_ for the first time. "Why Don't We Do it in the Road?" came on.

After listening to Paul (or was it John?) yelp this question 5 or 6 times, my 6yo exclaimed in exasperation, "Because you're going to get run over!"

Much discussion ensued with his 9yo brother about what "it" might be. Something against the law was the general consensus. They were completely oblivious to the real meaning.

Unless the language is stuff I wouldn't want them using, I tend to have an "anything goes" approach. Because they just aren't going to get it.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zinemama* 
The other day the kids were listening to _The White Album_ for the first time. "Why Don't We Do it in the Road?" came on.

After listening to Paul (or was it John?) yelp this question 5 or 6 times, my 6yo exclaimed in exasperation, "Because you're going to get run over!"

Much discussion ensued with his 9yo brother about what "it" might be. Something against the law was the general consensus. They were completely oblivious to the real meaning.

Unless the language is stuff I wouldn't want them using, I tend to have an "anything goes" approach. Because they just aren't going to get it.

Yes, about some things. Like my dd thinks Rhianna's Shut Up and Drive is about cell phones.

However, Closer by Nine Inch Nails came on the radio (and I have Sirius so not all channels are censored) and I flipped to another channel rather than let her listen.


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## GuildJenn (Jan 10, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BarnMomma* 
What about artists like Tori Amos (one of my personal favs) whose lyrics I think are so obscure that I even have a hard time figuring out what the hell she's going on about? I know that she has some very strong opinions on things way beyond what I want DS exposed to at this age but they are cleverly disguised, most of the time. But music itself, the piano, the rhythm I think is amazing.

My son loves Tori Amos and Evanescence. I don't worry about it too much. If it bothers him I'm pretty sure he'll let me know.

Mind you his favourite song is Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah and that's not always appropriate. So I guess I'm not too controlling about it.

Here's my growing up story - I was THROWN OUT of grade 4 play auditions for auditioning with "I Don't Know How to Love Him" from Jesus Christ Superstar. I had NO idea Mary Magdalene was a prostitute or whatever. But I got no role in the Sound of Music because of it. Sniff.


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## Purple*Lotus (Nov 1, 2007)

I think it is hilarious when my 4 year old students are singing songs I have never heard before. To this day I have not heard "Riding Dirty" but learned all the words in the summer time from a 3 year old









I don't usually listen to the pop type kind of music. I prefer country









I always try to find music to play for my students that goes with our theme. And I try to expose them to as many kinds as I can during naptime, Mozart, Bach, Jewel







As long as there are isn't offensive language or adult themes it is okay in my class.


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## Oubliette8 (Apr 15, 2009)

I remember going to summer camp as a teenager and the counselors made us censor our music. I think they didn't really care- technically they weren't supposed to let us listen to the stuff that needed censoring at all- but they were afraid one of their supervisors would walk by while it was playing. it was hilarious. The whole cabin would be singing and suddenly someone would dart for the stereo and when it hit the dirty word, they'd turn the volume knob down and the whole place went silent, just for a beat, and then the singing and the music would recommence. Good times that. It STILL took me awhile to figure out what the songs were about!

I was also once in a store that had Jimmy Buffet playing. Wouldn't you know, as soon as this family with small children walked in, "Why Don't We Get Drunk and Screw" came up on the CD. The funniest thing was noone changed it, and not a single person seemed to notice. Not even the family. And it was pretty loud, if I do say so myself. I was dying inside.


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## JessicaS (Nov 18, 2001)

My daughter has been singing "Why don't we do it in the road?" lately. MIL was


















Sublime is probably a good line, I would agree with that.

You should put a video of the five year old singing "I shot a man in Reno" on youtube. That would be awesome.


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## JessicaS (Nov 18, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GuildJenn* 

Here's my growing up story - I was THROWN OUT of grade 4 play auditions for auditioning with "I Don't Know How to Love Him" from Jesus Christ Superstar. I had NO idea Mary Magdalene was a prostitute or whatever. But I got no role in the Sound of Music because of it. Sniff.

Aw...that is fail. It doesn't say she was a prostitute.


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## Super_mommy (Nov 13, 2009)

I mostly prefer soft songs which is not hard on ears..


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## delfin (Jul 11, 2007)

i was thinking about this the other day when my dj partner put on some psychedelic turbo trance at 180 bpm...that stuff makes your ears bleed. it was too much for me, so i think it was too much for my 2 yo


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Barbie Girl







:

And anything by Barney the evil purple dinosaur.


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## mamalisa (Sep 24, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Porcelain Interior* 
We don't do a lot of the current music that seems to wax poetic about strippers and certain kinds of drinks and basically totally revolving around using and abusing women, or worshipping them as sexual objects. The same for violence, though I've not seen as much of that as I did when I was a teen. (During the Dr. Dre hayday.)

Ds asked me to down load Soulja Boy "Superman" last week. After my initial







I explained to him that was a song I would NEVER allow him to download I promised that when he was 12 I would explain the lyrics to him. Actually I'll probably just link him to urbandictionary.com and let him figure it out himself. I don't know that I could bring myself to actually use the works to explain it.

We listen to a huge variety of music and talk a lot about content and meaning so I feel ok with what he does hear, knowing there's education going on as well.


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## CorasMama (May 10, 2002)

Jonas Brothers.







But seriously, I think the line is somewhere between the beatles and NIN. The other day, we were all listening to the radio, and we heard the first bit of "Closer" come on (it was an uncensored cable music channel,) and dh and I were scrambling for the control, as dd was confused why we were so frantic. Funny story. When I was in first grade, The Wall was my favorite album. The teacher called my dad after observing me lead the whole class in a rousing rendition of "Another Brick in the Wall." teehee. My dad thought that was hilarious, which wasn't really the reaction the teacher was looking for!


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## Teenytoona (Jun 13, 2005)

Tigerchild, I'm SO GLAD you said that about "Sit on my face" because I thought the same thing. I used to sing it all the time as a young teen because I thought it was about farting on someone's face. HAHA! I was a pretty clueless teen.

I think there are some obvious "not kids' music" music. But personally I'm all about them listening to real music. I'm not into "kid's music" that is wierd versions that someone thinks is "kid friendly" (like synthetic short versions of classical music for instance). I'd rather they heard the real thing.

That said, we're big They Might Be Giants fans (we don't even have any of their kids' CD"s, just the oolder stuff) and we love Gypsy Kings too.







We tend to go for music with alot of instruments in them.


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## betsyj (Jan 8, 2009)

Quote:

We listen to a huge variety of music and talk a lot about content and meaning so I feel ok with what he does hear, knowing there's education going on as well.
This is our goal too. Growing up our house was filled with music-much of it rock-n-roll and protest music.

I love everything from Sublime to Gordon Lightfoot. I don't plan on censoring at all. We do not listen to rap as we find the racial terms and attitudes toward women to be appalling (I know not all rap is like this). So, that is a bridge I will cross when he begins to hear that kind of stuff.

Edited to add that there is not and never will be any Barney in our house. I was sadly disappointed that the mommy and me group at the library used Barney. I am not a fan of most kids music, with the exception of songs like Itsy Bitsy spider and the like. And of course Free to be You and Me.


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## Youngfrankenstein (Jun 3, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
We do draw a line though... No Psudo-singers who can't carry a tune, write a song and/or play an insturment. No bubble gum pop. Basically none of that new crap they call music.

No kidding! I barely listen to the radio other than local talk but we do have a great local, non-commercial music station that plays a fantastic variety.

You'll hear Robert Randolph, Elvis Costello, Joe Jackson, and then and old Cure song. They sprinkle in some Beatles here and there too.

I would not let my kids listen to Poker Face but any Elvis Costello (big in our house) with an f-bomb thrown in really doesn't bother me.


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## Youngfrankenstein (Jun 3, 2009)

I just wanted to add that there's something that really bothers me about Kidz Bop and I wouldn't want them to listen to that.


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## Jessy1019 (Aug 6, 2006)

We don't censor media in our house. My kids listen to everything I listen to . . . Ani, Ingrid Michaelson, Fiona Apple, the RENT soundtrack, our naughty xmas album







whatever else we're in the mood for. We've had some great discussions as a result (my son, especially, is VERY interested in knowing what the ladies on my iPod are singing about).


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## Addy's Mom (Nov 20, 2009)

I don't play music that glorifies war. One that comes to mind, that I really like in a lot of ways (especially about family, etc.), is "Letters from Home" by John Michael Montgomery. Lyrics like "pick up my gun and get back to work" make me shudder.


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## floss&ferd (Mar 6, 2009)

Pretty much anything goes in our house. My son is a HUGE beatles fan right now.

I usually skip "Add it Up" by Violent Femmes. But I think that is the only song I consistently skip.


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## HappilyEvrAfter (Apr 1, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *east carolina* 
Anyhoo, I let DS listen to anything, I only screen for extremely explicit lyrics (a couple of "F" words don't bother me) and extremely sexual lyrics, but that's about it. He loves lots of different kinds of music just like we do from opera all the way to rap and in between. Johnny Cash, Prince, Outkast, all of those are staples in our music collection. He also likes the more obscure stuff we're really into, like Red Red Meat and Arcwelder.

Yeah. This. We don't go obscure because of my taste, but my kid adores my old Marylin Manson (MM) CD. He's not so much into the words of it, but loves the music. He is head-over-heals in LOVE with MM's version of the Nightmare Before Christmas song. And Johnny Cash's Folsom Prison song. I've heard that about a gazillion times...over and over and over and over and over again.

With mine, it's not so much the words; it's the music he's interested in.

Every now and then he'll ask about a lyric from a radio song so I know he's listening. We've had extensive talks about what is appropriate to repeat and (so far) he's been good about it all.


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## ssh (Aug 12, 2007)

We don't let DD listen to music that's really dark or discordant. NIN, System of a Down, and most Tool aren't really appropriate. We don't listen to country so she doesn't either. My DH likes techno and electronica, so she hears Tiesto alot. I like to make sure DD hears a variety. She really likes swing, mainly Glen ******, Afro Celt, and Lorenna Mckennet. I listen to alternative and old rock in the car.


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## HappilyEvrAfter (Apr 1, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ssh* 
My DH likes techno and electronica, so she hears Tiesto alot.

I







DJ Tiesto.


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## plunky (Aug 23, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
We actually don't shelter DD from music. I mean when I was 2 years older then her, I was writing some pretty offensive/violent songs myself.

We do draw a line though... No Psudo-singers who can't carry a tune, write a song and/or play an insturment. No bubble gum pop. Basically none of that new crap they call music.

This amused me for some reason. Dragonforce=good. White Stripes=bad until Meg can learn how to drum.


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

I did change the station when Beck's _Loser_ came on. I'm a loser, baby, so why don't you kill me.







I just didn't like my kids hearing that sentiment, even though I like the song.

I was a little chagrined that I didn't notice when Rage Against the Machine's _Killing in the Name_ got to the part where he repeats at least 20 times, "F You, I won't do what you tell me!", getting louder and louder till he's screaming it at the top of his lungs. My dear daughter said, Uh, mom you might want to skip this song.














We laughed, though.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GuildJenn* 
Here's my growing up story - I was THROWN OUT of grade 4 play auditions for auditioning with "I Don't Know How to Love Him" from Jesus Christ Superstar. I had NO idea Mary Magdalene was a prostitute or whatever. But I got no role in the Sound of Music because of it. Sniff.

But- it's just a pretty song.







I'm sorry, you was robbed!


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## ~pi (May 4, 2005)

We use the, "would we want him singing these lyrics?" test as well. That's about it as far as filters go.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TiredX2* 
Honestly, I've sheltered the kids from some more sad lyrics from say, Kimya Dawson (like her song 12/26)

I doubt Kimya will see this thread but I'm willing to bet that her DD hears her songs.









I do agree with you that songs like 12/26 are sad, but empathic, moral songs can make for great learning opportunities, discussions about our values as a family/community, etc. Not saying it's a bad decision, just offering a different POV for general consideration.


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

Beatles would have been OK with me.

But, I was very picky about the music my daughter listened to. When her friends were listening to "Spice Girls", I wouldn't let my daughter listen to it. She still had Vegi Tales CDs instead. (kindergarten/1st grade)

Last year, she had a dance recital. (she's 17 now) and one of the songs the fifth graders were dancing to was "Something in your mouth" By Nickleback. I personally like tha song... on my own IPOD... but, it was the absolutely most innapropriate song for a children's dance recital... no matter what age was dancing to it.


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jessy1019* 
We don't censor media in our house. My kids listen to everything I listen to . . . Ani, Ingrid Michaelson, Fiona Apple, the RENT soundtrack, our naughty xmas album







whatever else we're in the mood for. We've had some great discussions as a result (my son, especially, is VERY interested in knowing what the ladies on my iPod are singing about).

Our DD sings the RENT soundtrack! Occasionally the rest of us join in.

I think I asked in the New Years Eve thread if I was a bad parent for letting her sing "Out Tonight".


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GuildJenn* 

Here's my growing up story - I was THROWN OUT of grade 4 play auditions for auditioning with "I Don't Know How to Love Him" from Jesus Christ Superstar. I had NO idea Mary Magdalene was a prostitute or whatever. But I got no role in the Sound of Music because of it. Sniff.

And you know, Mary Magdalene wasn't _even_ a prostitute. That myth was started in the 6th century. In 1969 the church finally said there are three different women that were combined to create "Mary Magdalene the prostitute".


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## ShadowMoon (Oct 18, 2006)

We don't censure music in the house. DS is only 3 so a lot of stuff flies over his head anyway. I mostly listen to Phish, Grateful Dead, Beatles, Ani DiFranco, Elliott Smith, Radiohead, Tool, etc etc etc. Nothing completely outrageous.


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## StoriesInTheSoil (May 8, 2008)

My kiddo is only 17 months so he listens to what I listen to therefore the requirements for appropriateness are: not crap.









Unfortunately, somewhere *cough*Auntie*cough* he picks up on things and for the past 3 months he walks around singing "Single Ladies" (The UH-uh-oh part) with such tonal accuracy that people in the grocery store KNOW what he's singing and stop to sing the rest which he LOVES and then he dances like a crazy child and the whole cycle starts again. I'll admit, I find this absolutely hysterical. My sister also plays Lady Gaga and has him trained where you'll say "DS, what's your poker face?" and he does this move with his hands on his face and says "p-p-p-p" like in the song. Also funny though not really my musical taste.

I like what most would categorize as "indie" music so that is most of what DS hears. Also older pop/rock like Simon and Garfunkel, The Beatles, etc. We also like older country (Dolly, Merle Haggard, Johnny Cash) some bluegrass, and lots of folk stuff.

I had to laugh when I saw someone that censored "Loser" by Beck because my dad used to turn that song off when I was a kid and it would come on and ooooooooh boy would it piss me off! I LOVED that song


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## Irishmommy (Nov 19, 2001)

Where we can hear it, anything we don't like is censored, so no rap, stuff like that. If we can't hear it, we don't censor. (Applicable to the 15yo, the 9yo's mp3 is loaded by us, so we know what she has.

I have no problem with them listening to stuff I wouldn't want them singing in front of others. We all love "Teenagers Scare the Living S**t out of Me" for instance. But a couple of years ago, dd1 loved,and had a dance to, a song by Soulja Boy, I think. I asked her if she knew what the lyrics meant, she said no, I explained them. She said "Oh". And hasn't listened to it since, to the best of my knowledge.

They both love Queen, they can blast that!


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## Viola (Feb 1, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
I learned this when my daughter was singing "Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off" at the top of her lungs on her way into Vacation Church School.









ROFL, I woke up to that song this morning. My husband set the alarm to this country station, and I usually listen to it for awhile if I don't wake up before the alarm clock. Country songs can be really strange!

Quote:

I stopped listening to a lot of musicals, which is my favorite style, when the kids were singing back the lyrics and I realized how inappropriate it was. Rent, Spring Awakening, Avenue Q. When they were climbing on the table to pretend to light the Advent wreath while singing "We could light the candle" I transferred it all to my MP3 player and made it my gym music.
Heheheh, we listened to The Internet is for Porn driving from PA to VA a few years ago because it was on this mix CD that DH made for the drive. I wanted to FFwd past the song, but the kids wanted to hear it. I kept telling my daughter they were saying the Internet is for CORN because you can buy corn online. We were laughing about it and I made up a whole scenario about why the Internet is for corn. But then especially when she saw the WoW video set to that song, the masturbate word leaped out at her, and she asked about that, so I guess she realized it wasn't corn, although I don't think I've ever really told her what porn is--my husband might have, however, at least to a point.

I'm not the biggest Rent fan out there, but I find myself singing the first line of Light My Candle whenever candles are being lit.

I remember listening to Les Miserables and Miss Saigon in the car with my nephew and niece, and they'd listen to the story and ask if someone had died and all that, then I'd have to explain the whole story, then later on they'd ask for the song where the girl died or killed herself or whatever.

I don't particularly censor things, but I don't see a problem with it. I don't want my children internalizing some cultural notions, and if I do turn something off, it's because I don't like it and don't want to promote it, and I will tell them that. They are free to believe what they want to believe, but I have to at least stand up for my values.


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## calmom (Aug 11, 2002)

I put a lot of thought into the music my kids listen to (read: i spend hours reading lyrics before i approve them) but in the end, they listen to most everything they want to.

they listen to lots of hard rock/metal and alternative stuff like rage against the machine, beastie boys, slipknot and linkin park. i have mostly forbidden marilyn manson because i'm just appalled by his lyrics.

i also decide based on their ages. my 15yo can have CDs with the F word, my 12yo cannot, and the younger two can only have completely clean songs. i don't care too much if the lyrics are suggestive unless it's really obvious.

we also often buy the clean version from iTunes if the language is just too much.


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## widemouthedfrog (Mar 9, 2006)

I prefer that my dd not listen to a lot of swearing or songs that glorify guns.

Then again, when she was 2 I let her listen to K'naan's "I was stabbed by Satan," which is actually a very lovely song about his difficult childhood. He is a human rights activist and hip hop artist, and I love, love, love his work. I was a little concerned that dd might sing it at preschool. It is very catchy.

Unfortunately it also contains a fair amount of swearing, so we're listening to just a few of his songs at the moment.

We listen to most music. I actually quite like a lot of hip hop and rap and we do "dance parties" with them.


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## folkgirl (Jun 18, 2006)

I don't censor most of my personal collection but there are some rap/hip-hop songs (not a lot since it's not my thing) that I skip because it's hard to explain context to a 3 year old. Same goes for a few random songs that have curse words like "Song For the Dumped" by Ben Folds Five.

I actually curse a lot myself, but try not to in front of my kid. I don't want her cursing at church, in front of grandparents, school, etc so until she's old enough to understand "mixed company" I will try to downplay it greatly.

Just yesterday I was reflecting on some of my favorite songs/artists with less-obvious cursing, like Wilco for example. They curse a lot but they're kind of mumbly so I don't worry about it much. I'm sure one day I should start.


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## newbymom05 (Aug 13, 2005)

We have an almost 5 y/o and 2 y/o and they have their own music. Jazz, Putamayo for Kids, Raffi, Wiggles, Mary Poppins soundtrack--those are some things we listen to that I've come to enjoy myself.

I don't understand the attitude of "they listen to what I/we/the adults listen to" or "only GOOD music" which seems to always mean adult music. Do these children also watch the same tv and movies their parents watch, since the dialog and subject matter is over their heads or because the parents just don't like children's shows?


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## sunnmama (Jul 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *newbymom05* 
I don't understand the attitude of "they listen to what I/we/the adults listen to" or "only GOOD music" which seems to always mean adult music. Do these children also watch the same tv and movies their parents watch, since the dialog and subject matter is over their heads or because the parents just don't like children's shows?

I only listen to stuff the kids like when they are around (otherwise they complain too much for me to enjoy it). We exposed them to a lot of stuff--including stuff geared to kids, and it turns out that their favorite stuff is often _not_ "kid music". Both of my toddlers would request the Beatles ("play love me do!") all the time.


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## Irishmommy (Nov 19, 2001)

When dd1 was in grade 2, there was a talent show. She was bound and determined that she was going to sing a solo at it (there were auditions, iirc). She was going to sing Patricia the Stripper, by Chris de Burgh.

...For Patricia is the best stripper in town,
And with a swing of her hips she started to strip,
To tremendous applause she took off her drawers,

etc. Great, fun song, not appropriate for a 2nd grader in a Catholic school to sing at school.


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## funkymamajoy (May 25, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BarnMomma* 
What about artists like Tori Amos (one of my personal favs) whose lyrics I think are so obscure that I even have a hard time figuring out what the hell she's going on about? I know that she has some very strong opinions on things way beyond what I want DS exposed to at this age but they are cleverly disguised, most of the time. But music itself, the piano, the rhythm I think is amazing.

If the lyrics are that obscure, they'll just go over his head anyway.


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *newbymom05* 
I don't understand the attitude of "they listen to what I/we/the adults listen to" or "only GOOD music" which seems to always mean adult music. Do these children also watch the same tv and movies their parents watch, since the dialog and subject matter is over their heads or because the parents just don't like children's shows?

You know... Some kids music _is_ good music. Some kids music is more violent then most adult music. Have you listened to "The Cat Came Back" recently?

"The man around the corner swore he'd kill the cat on sight,
He loaded up his shotgun with nails and dynamite;
He waited and he waited for the cat to come around,
Ninety seven pieces of the man is all they found."

I doubt I'd let my kids watch a movie with a guy who blows himself up trying to kill a cat.


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## velochic (May 13, 2002)

I think some people don't give their kids enough credit for actually understanding the lyrics of songs. Of course, I don't know most of the artists mentioned, so I don't know if the lyrics are sung or actually screamed as they seem to be mostly these days. I listened to the Beatles on 8-track and remember the fallout of the their breakup (too young to remember the actual breakup), so as usual, I feel one generation beyond the discussion.

The reason I say that kids often understand more than we give them credit for, is because of something my dd said this summer. She's 7. I was listening to an old Rush album. There's a song called "The Trees". The song is about equality and dd totally picked up on that. She asked some very deep questions about why the oak trees were bullies, etc. While this song isn't terribly obscure to adults, it would be to children. Dd and I have had many deep discussions stemming from music.

I honestly do believe that music (and lyrics) is one of many things that influence the way we are raising our children. I'm careful about that. That's not censorship. That's good parenting.


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## velochic (May 13, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
I doubt I'd let my kids watch a movie with a guy who blows himself up trying to kill a cat.

That's a good point. In the same manner that I'm careful about what I let dd watch or do on the computer/internet, I'm careful about music. I can't wrap my head around the comments that this is "censorship". And from your example, it shows that parents need to be careful about all genres of music... even kid's tunes.


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## Faerieshadow (Mar 31, 2005)

Our kids, 5 and 15 months, love Tool and A Perfect Circle.







We definitely censor the music though, because a lot of the songs would be too much. But both kids rock out to Lateralus. And DS calls Disposition "Watch the weather change", he loves to listen to it right before bedtime. I love having DS ask questions about songs like APC's "Fiddle and the Drum" - makes for good conversations.

He heard Lady Gaga's Poker Face once and thought they were saying "Poke her face", he giggled about it all day.









Basically if it's got a lot of swear words or violence we don't play it around them. Overt sexual lyrics or videos as well. I'd rather cycle through the 3-4 Tool songs on any cd that aren't too crazy than play pretty much anything that comes on the radio.

Breaking Benjamins has been a pretty good compromise.


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## chamomeleon (Jun 6, 2005)

DH & I listen to such a huge variety of music that we pretty much decide on a song-by-song basis. Our son (4.5) LOVES music of all kinds, but his preference runs toward classic rock with lots of guitar and good drum beats. We made him his own playlist on our iTunes, and when he hears a song he likes he asks us to put it on his playlist. Sometimes he likes to click around our full collection and find new stuff, but we're always listening with him and he is fine with it if we ask him to skip a song because it might be scary or have bad words in it. 90% of the time he listens to his own playlist, which are all "approved" songs: ABBA, Beastie Boys, The Beatles, Billy Idol, Bob Marley, Cake, CCR, Grateful Dead, Joan Jett, Led Zeppelin, Michael Jackson, Prince, Queen, The Ramones, U2, Violent Femmes (to name just a few!) I can probably think of at least one song (in some cases many!) by each of these artists that I would prefer he not listen to until he's older.

I know he listens to the lyrics because he will sometimes ask me what a song is about - but there are other times when he is singing to himself a song that I *thought* he knew the lyrics to, and I realize that he has just memorized the sounds and not the actual words. Kind of like the way opera singers learn to sing in Italian. We (DS & I) have also had some very cool conversations about the emotions we feel when we hear certain songs. One in particular I remember was about the song With or Without You by U2, which is one of his very favorite songs. He said that he could tell that Bono was sad when he sang that song, and he had this whole theory about why that was, but I remember being amazed and very moved that a 4-year-old could empathize so well with the emotions he heard in music.

We don't have a whole lot of kid-specific music because DS just isn't that into it, but we do really like They Might Be Giants, as well as the "Snack Time" CD by The Barenaked Ladies.


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## Tigerchild (Dec 2, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *velochic* 
That's a good point. In the same manner that I'm careful about what I let dd watch or do on the computer/internet, I'm careful about music. I can't wrap my head around the comments that this is "censorship". And from your example, it shows that parents need to be careful about all genres of music... even kid's tunes.


I think perhaps you are unnecessarily assigning "badness" to censorship. In this context I see it as a neutral. If you suppress your children's access to <insert thing here> then you are, in fact, censoring that for your child. So what? As parents we suppress our children's access to a lot of things (well, msot of us, myself included)

That's why so many *adults* find censorship for themselves objectionable--because it's some stranger exercising parental-like authority and guidance over them. But as a parent, dare I say you are SUPPOSED to have boundaries and guidance for your children?


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## mamallama (Nov 22, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BarnMomma* 
What about artists like Tori Amos (one of my personal favs) whose lyrics I think are so obscure that I even have a hard time figuring out what the hell she's going on about? I know that she has some very strong opinions on things way beyond what I want DS exposed to at this age but they are cleverly disguised, most of the time. But music itself, the piano, the rhythm I think is amazing.

Her more recent albums, I am ok with. She has become much more complex over the years & the obscurity has softened the raw qualities of the first album--the one with the white cover and her in the small box? I don't want my girls to listen to that. They're just not ready for it. "Me and a Gun?" No way. "Silent All These Years?" No. Maybe "Happy Phantom," but really, when the best candidate from the entire album begins with "And if I die today I'll be the happy phantom," imo, it's best to just skip it.

My 8yo wanted the American Idiot (Green Day) album on her mp3 player. I gave it to her. I deleted it when I heard her singing very clearly "alcohol and cigarettes and Mary Jane to keep me insane/ doin someone else's cocaine..."

The Jonas Brothers make me want to stab my eye out...but I'd much rather hear my kid singing about her great grand daughter who lives under water, y/k?


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## nolansmummy (Apr 19, 2005)

We listen to pretty much everything around here (except country), and the only songs i can think of that i have turned off include some older rap (tupac, dr.dre, snoop) and a few NIN songs. I have listened to Rage around them, but not the Killing in the name of song. Basically i don't have a problem with a song saying a bad word or two, but i do have a problem with it being a chorus lyric which they repeat over and over and over again.

I grew up with a mom who listened to very hard metal, and rock and the only songs she censored were NIN closer, and Beck's loser. The first song my little brother sang was a Nirvana song, "Lake of Fire" he would belt it out at the grocery store and embarrass my mom .

My son's favorite artists include Seether and Korn. My daughter is into the more poppy stuff i listen to when i work out. I think there are questionable words/themes in most music and i can't stand kids music so i'm willing to deal with the fallout.


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## MJB (Nov 28, 2009)

We listen to many types of music, including rap and punk. Probably the only thing none of us like is hard rock/metal. I skip things if they are sexually graphic, homophobic, or use the N word prominently. I don't mind cursing. My kids really love a lot of "classics"-- Bob Dylan, the Beatles, Johnny Cash, Michael Jackson. They like good or funny lyrics.


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## Hoopin' Mama (Sep 9, 2004)

Interesting discussion!

We don't seem to have anything too hard in this house. The only thing we have I can think that I would probably censor (if I thought about it) is Sublime and Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy.

I will probably be more aware of it after this thread.

Then again, ds (5) is known to be front and center (with earplugs) when dh's band plays. And they often open with Folsom Prison and their originals may or may not include some references to the reefers.

Due to my older siblings, I was listening to Billy Joel's Glass Houses album and Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody at a pretty young age. I remember finding the latter so chilling. It's pretty funny to remember myself dancing to Only the Good Die Young, though.


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## Hoopin' Mama (Sep 9, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Irishmommy* 
When dd1 was in grade 2, there was a talent show. She was bound and determined that she was going to sing a solo at it (there were auditions, iirc). She was going to sing Patricia the Stripper, by Chris de Burgh.

...For Patricia is the best stripper in town,
And with a swing of her hips she started to strip,
To tremendous applause she took off her drawers,

etc. Great, fun song, not appropriate for a 2nd grader in a Catholic school to sing at school.

Hahaha!
In 2nd grade, my best friend and I entered the talent show dancing to Barry Manilow's Copa Cabana.

We did some interesting moves to "with feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there". Oh goodness.


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## inkslinger (May 29, 2009)

We don't really censor music from our kids. The Beatles are one of their favorite things to listen to. I probably wouldn't let them listen to, say, hardcore gangster rap or anything, but I don't listen to that either.


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## PikkuMyy (Mar 26, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nextcommercial* 
Beatles would have been OK with me.

But, I was very picky about the music my daughter listened to. When her friends were listening to "Spice Girls", I wouldn't let my daughter listen to it. She still had Vegi Tales CDs instead. (kindergarten/1st grade)

Last year, she had a dance recital. (she's 17 now) and one of the songs the fifth graders were dancing to was "Something in your mouth" By Nickleback. I personally like tha song... on my own IPOD... but, it was the absolutely most innapropriate song for a children's dance recital... no matter what age was dancing to it.

We don't have children yet but we have so many different types of music, I don't see us censoring much of it, but talking about it as well as listening.

However, I just clicked your link and listened to the Nickleback song, and I can't believe that the school had them dancing to that! I agree, a most inappropriate song for a children's dance recital.


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## Adventuredad (Apr 23, 2008)

My kids listen to the music I listen to which can be anything from classical to top 40 stuff. No heavy rap or super offensive lyrics, not to shield them but because I just don't listen to it personally.

I would not say any lyrics are too complex. Kids have an amazing way of picking up new things, both good and bad. My almost 6 year old speaks three languages and my 3.5 year old is almost there as well.


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## AllisonR (May 5, 2006)

As a child, I always LOVED the song "mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school, we have tortured all the teachers...."
I loved it because it was "bad" and I wasn't supposed to sing it. That's half the thrill, kwim?
So now I sing it for my kids, who are 5 and 3.

Most stuff I am OK with. I often listen to Pink Floyd when the kids are around. In the shower I sing hendrix: hey joe, where you going with that gun in your hand? Goin down, to shoot my old lady down to the ground, you know I caught her messin round town with another man. suppose that is as off as I get. Hmm, not sure if I would like them hearing Queen: moma, I don't want to die, sometimes wish I'd never been born at all....


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## treemom2 (Oct 1, 2003)

Haha, love the comments about drawing the line at Sublime. . .we totally play it in the car. We don't censor music (at least not yet, maybe when my kids are older if they start listening to ultra violent rap that talks about killing people or harming women--then we'll re-evaluate), what we listen to, our children listen to. DD and DS love to sing along in the car and often sings the "curse" words right along with the music. I'm also one of those parents who doesn't censor my language just because my children are in the room. They do know that there are words they don't say around others and have known this for a long time.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

I never like the word "censorship" being used in threads like this, because censorship is more about the government deciding what people should be able to listen to. This is parental discretion, not censorship.


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## chamomeleon (Jun 6, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AllisonR* 
Hmm, not sure if I would like them hearing Queen: moma, I don't want to die, sometimes wish I'd never been born at all....

My son loves Bohemian Rhapsody - one day he was listening to it and looking thoughtful about that part. He said, "Mommy, *I* don't wish that...I'm GLAD I was born!"


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## newbymom05 (Aug 13, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
You know... Some kids music _is_ good music. Some kids music is more violent then most adult music. Have you listened to "The Cat Came Back" recently?

"The man around the corner swore he'd kill the cat on sight,
He loaded up his shotgun with nails and dynamite;
He waited and he waited for the cat to come around,
Ninety seven pieces of the man is all they found."

I doubt I'd let my kids watch a movie with a guy who blows himself up trying to kill a cat.

I screen my kid's music the same way I screen their tv and movies. So no, I haven't heard the song you referenced, nor have my children. So far, Raffi, the Wiggles, Putamayo, Sandra Boynton, etc haven't had any death or violent imagery, or at least the songs we have.

Really, though, Grimm's fairy tales and most nursery rhymes are horribly violent. Rock a Bye Baby has the baby falling out of a tree, for cripe's sake. With contemporary music, I"m more concerned w/ drug and sexual references that aren't appropriate for my preschooler than w/ violent ones, although I'd certainly prefer to steer clear of the more egregious violent ones as well.

Oh, and language--I'm not ready to explain or hear words like ass, bitch, pimp, etc coming from my 2 and 4 y/o's. As my mom likes to say, let's save something for later.


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## sunnmama (Jul 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *treemom2* 
Haha, love the comments about drawing the line at Sublime. . .we totally play it in the car. We don't censor music (at least not yet, maybe when my kids are older if they start listening to ultra violent rap that talks about killing people or harming women--then we'll re-evaluate), what we listen to, our children listen to. DD and DS love to sing along in the car and often sings the "curse" words right along with the music. I'm also one of those parents who doesn't censor my language just because my children are in the room. They do know that there are words they don't say around others and have known this for a long time.

I posted about Sublime being my "line" on a recent trip









IMO, some of Sublime _is_ clearly about killing people and harming women/girls. And the language is stark/undisguised. Do you disagree?


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tigerchild* 
I also don't think that some kids "get" a lot of even pretty overt (to adults) euphanisms.

That's been my experience as well. Before age 10 or 11, my daughters missed most of the innuendo in popular song lyrics, and by the time they were old enough to understand what it meant, they were mature enough to deal with it. I'm sure there are some parents who disagree with my latter point, and would restrict what their young adolescents are exposed to.

I really don't mind a few strong words when they're in context. I can't stand the censored version of Nickleback's "Rockstar"- I honestly do not have a problem with any of my kids hearing "dress my







in the latest fashions". Just last night, the kids and I were listening to various songs on YouTube, and we came across some of Nickleback's (newest? oldest?) stuff that we'd never heard before. Some of it had REALLY raunchy lyrics- one of them was about having sex while driving. DD1 and DD2 were sitting there with their jaws dropping and telling me "you CANNOT let DS listen to this!" But DS didn't understand a word of it- he understood the driving part, but all the "not the slightest bit subtle" innuendo was 100% lost on him.

We don't even enjoy that kind of thing, and won't be listening to it on purpose again- but my point is that the 8yo was completely unnaware of how innapropriate that song was.

If I enjoyed listening to songs with more graphic lyrics, I might have to restrict what I listened to in front of the kids. But since I don't, I've never seen any reason to censor my own music in front of them.


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## Jessy1019 (Aug 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Viola* 
Heheheh, we listened to The Internet is for Porn driving from PA to VA a few years ago because it was on this mix CD that DH made for the drive. I wanted to FFwd past the song, but the kids wanted to hear it. I kept telling my daughter they were saying the Internet is for CORN because you can buy corn online.









My daughter thought Pat Monahan's "Her Eyes" said, "She thinks all men are addicted to corn," instead of "She thinks all men are addicted to porn."

It was fitting -- my partner is much more into corn than porn most days! But I did explain why I was laughing when I heard her sing it, and now she laughs too.


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## Jessy1019 (Aug 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *newbymom05* 
I don't understand the attitude of "they listen to what I/we/the adults listen to" or "only GOOD music" which seems to always mean adult music. Do these children also watch the same tv and movies their parents watch, since the dialog and subject matter is over their heads or because the parents just don't like children's shows?

In our house, yes, the kids watch lots of "adult" movies and shows, and they like them (my almost-4 year old loves "the grumpy doctor show" ie: House and they picked The Hangover to rent the other day even though we'd seen it in the theaters too







). They also watch "kid" stuff like Transformer cartoons and Wizards of Waverly Place -- and when we go to the movies, sometimes I pick, sometimes they pick, sometimes their dad picks. But yeah, I like exposing them to all sorts of things and I find most "little kid" shows/music very hard to sit through myself.


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## mommy2two babes (Feb 7, 2007)

I don't censor music for our kids. We listen to alot of classic rock and my sister who the kids see alot had my DD at 4 singing " where did you get your body? I got it from my mama"

Like others have said I don't think kids get alot of it.
I can remember singing beastie boys fight for your right at a very young age.
It wasn't until I was an adult and heard the song that I realised I was singing " My Mom threw away my best p*rno mag"


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## sunnmama (Jul 3, 2003)

I remember being 9, and listening to John Mellencamp's "Hurt so Good" on the radio with my sister (11). She was emphatically explaining that I could _not_ let my mom hear me sing that song, and I couldn't figure out why, lol.


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *newbymom05* 
I screen my kid's music the same way I screen their tv and movies. So no, I haven't heard the song you referenced, nor have my children. So far, Raffi, the Wiggles, Putamayo, Sandra Boynton, etc haven't had any death or violent imagery, or at least the songs we have.

Really, though, Grimm's fairy tales and most nursery rhymes are horribly violent. Rock a Bye Baby has the baby falling out of a tree, for cripe's sake. With contemporary music, *I"m more concerned w/ drug and sexual references that aren't appropriate for my preschooler than w/ violent ones,* although I'd certainly prefer to steer clear of the more egregious violent ones as well.

Oh, and language--I'm not ready to explain or hear words like ass, bitch, pimp, etc coming from my 2 and 4 y/o's. As my mom likes to say, let's save something for later.

Movies, TV, books, or music I have never understood the bolded to be honest. Violence (though not too violent) is ok, but sex isn't...

We are more likely to censor violence the sex in our house though.


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## kcstar (Mar 20, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
Movies, TV, books, or music I have never understood the bolded to be honest. Violence (though not too violent) is ok, but sex isn't...

*We are more likely to censor violence the sex in our house though.*











It varies for us. We'll play music we like, so DH has country on in the car.

We burned copies of our children's music so that DS could change CDs and play the music he likes without damaging the originals. He does like Barney, alas, but he also likes Free to be You and Me, much of Bob from Sesame Street, the Baby Signing Time music, and others.


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## betsyj (Jan 8, 2009)

Music has a huge influence on all of us and social mores are constantly changing about what is acceptable and what is not. It is interesting to read a review about Elvis when he appeared on the Ed Sullivan show:

Quote:

Elvis Presley had 'injected movements of his tongue and indulged in wordless singing that were singularly distasteful.' Overstimulating the physical impulses of the teenagers was 'a gross national disservice.'"
Back in the day Elvis was unacceptable to many many parents and if anything it only enhanced his popularity. I think this is true of most kids and this is why I will let my son listen to music that has adult themes and ideas.

Music is such a powerful medium I want my son's first exposure to be with me, because he will be exposed regardless of any attempts to censure. When he does "get it" we can talk about the message and the meaning.


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## water (May 15, 2003)

I just won't listen to crap. So that rules out most kids music right there!

I listen to almost all my music with the kids around. The only thing I censor is the hard-core gangster rap and some of the death metal.

My 5yo loves to shock people and I don't want her to hear the n-word yet, because she doesn't have the maturity to understand why we don't say it and why it hurts people, so we will leave that conversation for later.

The death metal I love and think is funny, but my husband asked me not to play it in front of them, so, ok.


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## Kelly1101 (Oct 9, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamazee* 
If I'd be embarassed if she sang the lyrics in front of someone, that's probably a good indication that she shouldn't be hearing them.

Sounds like the best idea...


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## AllisonR (May 5, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *betsyj* 
Back in the day Elvis was unacceptable to many many parents and if anything it only enhanced his popularity. I think this is true of most kids and this is why I will let my son listen to music that has adult themes and ideas.

Music is such a powerful medium I want my son's first exposure to be with me, because he will be exposed regardless of any attempts to censure. When he does "get it" we can talk about the message and the meaning.

ITA! I'd rather my kids be exposed to music, bad language, a glass of wine, insert indulgence here.... around me. I want it all open for discussion - including THEIR discussion and THEIR views. If they don't get it here, they WILL get it somewhere else. When I am not around, then someone else gets to decide what it all means.

This doesn't mean I have to listen to rap 24/7 or swear like a sailer or get drunk every evening, but in the normal course of life these things should come up. Some of these life experiences will come up, hopefully when I am around, though I am sure many will also be at other times. I think having everything more open will only encourage them to get ideas from me, even if they disagree, then me hiding life from them and them sneaking off to discover it elsewhere.


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## DevaMajka (Jul 4, 2005)

For me, anything that promotes hate (racist, sexist, etc) is off limits. Also, songs that are overly sexual or promote the idea of women as sex objects.
Other than that, I can't think of anything that's not ok for ds. Dp teaches guitar, and ds learns a lot of the songs that he teaches. He teaches all kinds of stuff. I thought it was really funny when ds started singing a line out of "White Wedding" lol.

oh yeah- and songs that are all about violence. Those are not ok.


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## tbone_kneegrabber (Oct 16, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
Movies, TV, books, or music I have never understood the bolded to be honest. Violence (though not too violent) is ok, but sex isn't...

*We are more likely to censor violence the sex in our house though*.

Yeah I don't get that either. I used to work in a video store when I was in High School and parents would always ask why something was rated PG-13 or R and if it was for violence, they were like "oh that's okay" but if it was for sex they wouldn't rent it.

I dunno about other people, but I assume by kid will grow up and have sex one day (I hope he does), however I also hope he NEVER blows up a car or shoots someone etc! So I would way rather he be exposed to consensual sex references than violent references!


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## One_Girl (Feb 8, 2008)

I tend to censure music that doesn't emulate the values we have as a family. We don't listen to music with violence, sex, alcohol, drugs, or religion in it in our house. We also avoid movies with those themes. When my dd is older and can verbalize why listening to that kind of music or watching those types of movies is important to her than I may reconsider. I just don't see any value in those types of music and am not going to introduce her to music that encourages bad values.

Dd has a seven year old friend who listens to the sex music and emulates the singer. We stopped inviting her over after she wanted to play whore babies with my dd she also told me what a whore does. I don't think that songs and movies go over kids heads as often as we want them to.


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## folkgirl (Jun 18, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *water* 
I just won't listen to crap. So that rules out most kids music right there!

There really is some decent kids' music out there if you look for it. It's not the only thing my child listens to by far, but I have managed to find enough "good stuff" that when I do listen it's not unpleasant for me.


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## water (May 15, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *folkgirl* 
There really is some decent kids' music out there if you look for it. It's not the only thing my child listens to by far, but I have managed to find enough "good stuff" that when I do listen it's not unpleasant for me.

Some of the Putamayo CDs are ok, and I've found exactly one other CD I was willing to listen to, but we have played it way too many times now...

I dislike the dumbed-down music that is out there for kids. My kids both have had favorite classical pieces since they were 2 or 3, and they listen to a huge range of rock, hip-hop, rap, metal, classical, pop and more, so I don't really see the need to buy or play music that has no intrinsic musical value, but is somehow considered kid music.


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## loraxc (Aug 14, 2003)

I avoid clearly audible profanity (I don't worry about inaudible-ish things) and references to killing people. A song has to be extremely sexual before I skip it with the kids around, but I can think of a few on my iPod that I skip (uh, "Gett Off" by Prince springs to mind).

I suppose I might skip a song with positive references to hard drugs. My oldest kid is only 6, too, so this may change a little as she grows older...I don't think she even has ever heard the word cocaine.

Interestingly, my DD's school recently did a performance featuring "White Rabbit" by Jefferson Airplane, which of course has drug references.

ETA that I am much stricter about screen media. DD has seen very few movies, period, and has never watched movies or TV intended for adults. I just think visuals add a whole other level of intensity. I also really hate the wiseass attitudes modeled on TV and movies--and I am talking about kids' shows here.


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## zoebugsmom (Jan 19, 2004)

I draw the line at a lot of swearing, violence and sex. I had to take an Ani Difranco cd away from DD not too long ago after hearing "my c&*^ looks like a wound that won't heal." Yeah, don't need her repeating those lyrics in school.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *newbymom05* 
I don't understand the attitude of "they listen to what I/we/the adults listen to" or "only GOOD music" which seems to always mean adult music. Do these children also watch the same tv and movies their parents watch, since the dialog and subject matter is over their heads or because the parents just don't like children's shows?

My kids listen to kids music but if it's where I can hear it- the living room, kitchen, car etc- it has to be kids music that's decent. TMBG, Sandra Boynton, etc. If they want to listen to Wee Sing or something they can do it where I don't have to hear it.

Fortunately they tend to prefer classic rock and other older, adult stuff. DS digs the Beatles & Beastie Boys while DD likes Bob Dylan. Queen & Bob Marley are pretty high on their lists, too.


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## tracijune (Aug 26, 2007)

Wow! We mostly limit our daughter (3.5 yrs) to kids music - Laurie Bertner, TMBG, For the Kids series, Dan Zanes, etc - or classical and jazz. She's a pretty sensitive kid and picks up on things pretty easily.

I also worry about her little brain (a little background here - I have a Masters in Clinical Psychology and teach general and developmental psych at a local university). Brain research shows that neural pathways are created pretty easily at this age and they just build over time. I really would prefer her to not have any neural pathways associated with some of the themes glorified by some of the music and other media out there (wanton sex, violence, strong language, etc) until she's a little older and has more processing power. And there is no way that I would allow her to watch adult television or movies - many of those images, even those in commercials, are just too much for a young brain to handle in my opinion.

I don't want her to think the types of behaviors portrayed in much of the media today are in any way acceptable, so I limit her exposure to them now. When she's older, she'll have plenty of chance to see/hear/experience these things and we can talk about them at that time. Young children are primed and ready to learn about the world, so I'd prefer to use my fully grown prefrontal cortex - i.e. adult judgement - to help my daughter learn the stuff that I think will be helpful rather than harmful to her in the long run.









This has been a very interesting thread...

Traci


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## folkgirl (Jun 18, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *water* 
Some of the Putamayo CDs are ok, and I've found exactly one other CD I was willing to listen to, but we have played it way too many times now...

I dislike the dumbed-down music that is out there for kids. My kids both have had favorite classical pieces since they were 2 or 3, and they listen to a huge range of rock, hip-hop, rap, metal, classical, pop and more, so I don't really see the need to buy or play music that has no intrinsic musical value, but is somehow considered kid music.

Yeah, I don't like dumbed down stuff, either and I wasn't suggesting that you needed to "buy our play music that has no intrinsic musical value." I'm just saying that if you look, there's good stuff out there. If you don't care to look, that's certainly up to you. My kid listens to a wide variety of music, too (and also has fave classical pieces), and some quality "kids" music is part of that variety.


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## mata (Apr 20, 2006)

I have a problem letting my oldest dd (9) listen to grunge-which is tragic because it's some of my most favorite music ever, and she loves to play Pearl Jam and Nirvana on guitar (she rocks out on Smells like Teen Spirit!) Although she's primarily interested in this genre of music because she plays guitar, she has shown a lot of curiosity about the lyrics too. She's interested in Kurt Cobain, curious about his death, etc. etc. Since she has a considerable amount of angst for a child her age, I shield her from the lyrics for now.

Speaking of lyrics-when she heard Lady Gaga's Poker Face for the first time I'll be danged if she didn't pick up the phrase "bluffing with my muffin" and ask what it meant. And she would not let it drop. I had to find a way to explain it that wouldn't get me in trouble with the other moms at school-because I'm sure dd rushed to tell her friends on the playground the next day. yeesh-and I had scanned the lyrics quickly, too-it totally got by me.


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## treemom2 (Oct 1, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sunnmama* 
I posted about Sublime being my "line" on a recent trip









IMO, some of Sublime _is_ clearly about killing people and harming women/girls. And the language is stark/undisguised. Do you disagree?

You're right. . .I guess the Sublime songs I listen to in the car aren't so blatant about violence as some of the other music I've listened to. I don't really care about the swearing. . .


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