# 25 percent speech delay, says early intervention



## kbridi (Mar 16, 2005)

Ok, so I scheduled a meeting with the early intervention program in my county. DS has a hand difference, where he's missing the top two bones in each finger of his left hand.

We had him evaluated as the doctor suggested, and after the evaluation, they said he's slightly delayed in fine motor skills, but he has more of a delay in speech development. For the evaluation, they have to look at everything.

They gave me suggestions on what to do to help the speech along (and the fine motor), but I feel bad. I've been doing all of the right things..talking to him, reading to him, making sounds, playing music, singing, signing -- maybe I just focused too much on his hand and I didn't do enough in the speech area.

Anyway, they suggested a re-evaluation in three months for both the speech and the hand. Since the delays arn't too bad, we didn't qualify for the therapy program.

I guess I'm just feeling like a bad mom right now. I know all kids develop at different rates, but I thought he'd be better off since I'm home with him, interacting with him, etc. Maybe not?


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## Yooper (Jun 6, 2003)

By 25% do they mean 25% below average or below what is acceptable? I do not know how old your dc is but my 2.5 yo dd did not say anything until she was 2. Not even mama or dada. She talks in complete sentances now.....5 months later. I do not think I would worry too much. Kids really do develope so differently.


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## sbgrace (Sep 22, 2004)

Oh sweetie...I wish I could give you a hug because I do know the feelings. I questioned myself too (my son is delayed as well--actually both were speech delayed). Some kids are delayed in speech because they don't have adult interaction--I am positive that is not true in your case. Some kids can have terrible parent interaction (parked in front of a TV at home, in daycare with a poor adult to child ratio, etc.) and not be delayed. I can tell you though that there are some kids who are programmed to be delayed in speech--it's in their genes--and the parent can do everything right and the child is still going to be delayed. Lots of boys fall into that category...if all boys were evaluated I think lots of them would be delayed honestly. Does it make you feel any better if I told you that my best friend is an early intervention speech therapist. That is was until she had her daughter and became a SAHM. She is the most super speech interactive parent I have ever met as you would expect. Guess what? Her daughter is delayed--by more than 25%! Some kids are just programed that way and they do things on their own timetable. If your son does eventually qualifiy for speech (I don't know how old he is?) I would do it by the way, therapy is fun for kids and helpful for parents and if nothing else it will probably reassure you that you are doing a good job. I wish I could find that hugs emoticon thingie....I know it is hard to hear your child is delayed.


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## Dani & Cam (Jan 6, 2006)

HI there, this is my very post on this board so you don't know me.







We just had an evalution for my 17-month-old son and I know about your feelings. I still get weepy about his delay but we are getting him the help we need and that's all we can do. I know just by your being here and looking for solutions that this delay is NOT your fault. You are a caring Mother who is looking to educate yourself on a subject so please try not to feel guilty. Just keep up with what you are doing and it will come together. I hope the next eval brings great news.


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## kbridi (Mar 16, 2005)

Thanks for the support. I guess this has really shaken my confidence, because they were supposed to look at his hand, not his speech. He's only 14 months...but honestly, I had a feeling that he was a little behind with the speech.

When I told my husband this evening, he said I shouldn't worry about it. All kids develop at different rates. DS was behind with the speech, but way ahead with gross motor skills.

So I'm going to try and not feel guilty. As I was nursing him to sleep tonight, I kept thinking, well, if I talked to him more, or did more of this or more of that, maybe this wouldn't be a problem. Then, I think whoa! This really isn't a big deal. He's only supposed to have three or four words in his vocabulary. He's behind, but not that behind, and he's ahead in other things. So, I need to get a grip.

If you got this far, thanks for listening to me ramble.


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## ChristaN (Feb 14, 2003)

My older dd did not have a speech delay, but she was a late mover (started scooting -- her version of crawling -- at 11 months and walking at 15.5 months) and I remember feeling the same way -- maybe I hadn't put her on her tummy enough, then was so excited when she started scooting that I encouraged that too much and delayed her walking...

Like the other mamas are saying, I now think that some of it is just wiring. 14 months seems awfully young. Does he speak at all? If so, and he seems to have good receptive language skills, I, personally, wouldn't be too worried. In my dd's case, her cousins mostly started walking btwn 13 and 18 months, so it did seem to be something in the family history. She also is one to practice something mentally before she tries it. Once she took her first step, she was walking like she'd been doing it forever. My nephew did the same thing with speech. My brother kept saying that his son was going to be "riding the short bus"







: b/c he barely spoke at 1.5-2. He's 2.5 now and has just taken off now, though. He went from grunts and a few words to sentences in a few months.


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## Doodlebugsmom (Aug 1, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kbridi*
Thanks for the support. I guess this has really shaken my confidence, because they were supposed to look at his hand, not his speech. He's only 14 months...but honestly, I had a feeling that he was a little behind with the speech.

Please, please don't worry! Neither of mine said anything at 14 months. Dd didn't say anything until she was 2. Now she's almost 4, and her speech and vocabulary are unbelieveable. Ds has started saying lots of words too. You're doing everything right. There is a wide spectrum of normal for all developmental stages.


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## straighthaircurly (Dec 17, 2005)

Don't beat yourself up. You are doing everything you can. Just keep doing what you are doing and enjoy each day as it comes. My son didn't have any words until about 19 months and I didn't worry about it because my brother didn't say anything until he was almost three and he is an extremely articulate adult now! My son started speaking at 19 months and caught up very quickly. At fourteen months it is really common for boys to not be saying much.

Big hugs to you.

Kris


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## mthomas (Mar 20, 2004)

It's so hard isnt it? Not knowing for sure if you're doing everything you can do as a parent. Most times, we're doing everything we know to do, kwim?
Just last month DH and I were starting to get worried abt ds and the possibility of a speech delay. We started counting words and we got to abt 15. I made an appt and not one wk later he added abt 5 words. This was prob 2 wks ago. Since then I think he's prob up to abt 30-35 and he just put two words toghether today - Dat MINE







.
I don't think it will hurt to see abt poss early intervention, but man, they suprise you how fast they start going...once they actually start going.


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## stiles' mummy (Jan 16, 2005)

kbridi, I feel your anxiety







. My ds was on the late end of the scale in his verbal skills. He didn't say much at all at 14 months. I knew he was behind some of his peers (he had a cousin who at 12 months was talking in two word sentences! We had him evaluated through an "early interventions" type program. He was just deemed to be a little behind in speech. I agree with the others, a lot of boys are behind. Ds didn't even say "momma" until 16 months. However, his speech didn't really come in until he was 2 yrs old. Now at 2.5 he is talking in 4 and 5 word sentences and his vocabulary has exploded.

Give your ds some time. He's still so young.


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## BlueStateMama (Apr 12, 2004)

(((hugs)))) We're almost at the end of early intervention services for DS (almost 2 1/2.) My ped warned me that EI *has* to hit a certain level of delay (here it's 33%) in order for a child to be eligible for services...and voila! when tested at 18 months, my DS was at a 33% delay!







I was crushed at first, but then figured we would use EI for DS...and I am sooooo glad we did. The woman he has been working with is amazing. She comes to our house 2 times a week and my DS is so, so excited to see her. It's all play therapy and she shows up with a huge tote bag of toys each time (and it's free, thank you tax dollars!) and he has so much fun for that hour. His speech has improved dramatically (he was delayed, and we had apraxia fears for a while) and he's almost 100% at a developmentally approproate level.

I had trouble dealing with the emotions of having a "DELAYED" son at first - I'm a SAHM (formerly a lawyer) and my DH also has an advanced degree and is an Ivy league grad. Did I do something wrong? Not do enough of some things and too much of others? It was sort of a roller coaster...but now we're almost through that phase and I'm glad I swallowed my issues and got him working with the speech therapist. PM if you'd like, I'm more than happy to talk about our experiences!!


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## MamaRN (Jan 7, 2006)

I can feel your pain...my son will be going for a speech eval on Monday! Half of me says its great to intervene early, and the other half says...hey, give him time! 14 months is so early. I also agree with the other mamas...each child develops differently, no matter what kind of an environment he or she is in. Hugs to you!


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## orangecanoe (Aug 3, 2003)

Sorry the results have you doubting yourself! FWIW, when dd was evaluated by EI for eating issues, they also commented on how "quiet" she was --she just doesn't open up and talk/babble in front of people she doesn't know as well. I was a bit irked at the off hand suggestion that I should talk to her more/label things/etc when they didn't even have an idea of what I already did/didn't do outside of the eval setting.

Every kiddo is different with regards to personality and how that interplays with their verbal expressiveness. The little boy I used to nanny for pretty much only said "quack" until he was almost two. They had his hearing tested and that was fine so they pretty much just let it go at that since his older sister didn't really blossom with language til 2.5 or so. He was and still is a laid back and mellow guy so it would have made no sense to push the issue.

I can't help but think you already provide a language rich environment for him and that he will progress at his own pace. He is still young yet! If in a few months or as he gets closer to two there are still concerns, then maybe working with an ST would help then. EI is a great resource and utilizing services is in no way a reflection of what you have or haven't done for him.


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