# Could my son be Bipolar?



## mommyoftim (Apr 25, 2009)

Hey Everyone
New to this posting thing. But anyways I have a three and a half year old little boy. He is showing signs of being bipolar but I have asked the doctors and get dismayed that there is no way to tell. My ex husband the father of my son was finally diagnosed schizophrenic after I left him. I was diagnosed Bipolar 6 years ago and have been dealing with it since. I have been hospitalized it has been so bad. Anyways my son is doing things that I believe are signs he is Bipolar. We can not go out to eat or he will sit there and scream it is the most embarresing thing in the world. I went the other day with my mom and she tried to say he would do it but after exactly three minutes of sitting in the chair he began screaming. I had to get up and leave I was so embarressed. He has done this since he was a infant. Its drive thru or eat at home period. He also has mood swings constantly some days are great but other are horrible. The other day I think was the worst. He started throwing my books for school at me, told me he hated me, pulled my hair, major seperation anxiety when my fiance' left for school he freaked out screaming for over an hour. Nap time is not even worth trying for me. If my fiance' puts him in bed for a nap most of the time he will go to sleep. If his grandma is here she puts him in bed and he is out within 5 minutes. I have spent up to three hours trying to attempt getting him to go to sleep. I have given up and just let him stay up which doesn't help.







He sleeps in his room but we have to put a baby gate up because he likes to get up in the morning and not tell us he is up and plays with the fire place. Currently he has started leaving out of the house without us knowing he is gone. The other day I was in my bedroom folding laundry and he was playing in the front room. It got quite so I figured he was watching tv. After about 5 mins I decided to check on him and I found the front door open and he was half way down the street. I ask him what he was doing and he said that he is supposed to go to grandmas house. She lives 50 miles away. I am just really scared he is gonna get hurt he has no clue of danger. He has turned on the stove (we have removed all knobs). He plays in the fire place(we had to put a lock on it) He jumps of the back of the couchs(we have put them all against the wall). He has started climbing the gate we put up in his room to keep him in there till we know he is up cause he used to start calling us. He has been kicked outta preschool for biting. The other preschool said he wouldnt take a nap so they couldn't keep him. I am home fulltime with him I am a student and am currently failing classes because I have no time to do anything for myself. We have tried time out he could care less, swatting his but not a chance that makes any difference. My fiance' is not my sons father but has become his dad. He moved in with us when my son was just over a year old. He is wonderful with him but he has started telling him that he hates him. When I went in the hospital because my own meds where off and I need to get them straightened out my mother took my son till I came home. Afterward he was mad at me and said that I didn't live him and He wants to live with grandma and I just left him at his grandmas. I felt so bad but don't know what to do about it. Well I am gonna stop ranting if anybody has any advice you have I am open to. I just don't want to hear how horrible of a mother I am. I do everything for my son and have tried to keep him safe as possible. I love my son with all my heart and it breaks my heart that he I believe he has a problem and nobody will help him. I have been told it was just a phase and it will pass but this has been going on since he was a baby. Thanks.


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## paquerette (Oct 16, 2004)

I think the thing is, it IS hard to tell, because many of the things that are symptoms of bipolar in adults are perfectly normal behavior in three year olds. You will probably not be able to tell for sure until he is older.

"Your Three Year Old" is a good book for understanding what is developmentally appropriate behavior.









I would also look at things like sensory issues (spd), aspergers, pdd, spirited child, etc. Those are things you'd be able to identify at this stage in the game.


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## mommyoftim (Apr 25, 2009)

I have looked into all of this and he doesn't seem to have the symptoms of any of those. I really think it is bipolar since both of his parents have the problem.


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## ssh (Aug 12, 2007)

Bipolar is caused by irregularities in brain chemistry, mainly neurotransmitters that regulate mood, appetite, sleep, and other functions. The brain chemistry of very young children is so different from adults. Also it is still changing as they develop. Alot of the things you mentioned are normal 3 year old behaviors. I have a 3.5 year old who climbs across the back of the couch. I'm sure she could climb over baby gates if we used them. They also need constant supervision. My DD gave up naps at 27 months. She sleeps 11 to 12 hours at night. A bipolar child, fo example, might sleep 5 hours one night and still feel great in the morning and then sleep 16 hours the next night and not be able to play when they do get up. You've listed negative and tantruming behavior but not any not needing to sleep issues, or other hyper manic behavior. Here's a link there are symptoms of bipolar in children at the bottom of the page, http://www.bpkids.org/site/PageServe...name=lrn_about . Counseling could still be a good idea even if your LO isn't bipolar right now.


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## claddaghmom (May 30, 2008)

Hmm maybe I just know a lot of crazy kids...but that sounds normal, even on the tame side, for a 3yo boy.

Don't leave him unsupervised even for a moment. Adopt the "buddy" system where he does what you do. He can be mommy's helper and fold laundry.

The pattern of screaming when in a restaurant is a little strange...is it only in a restaurant? How is that bipolar? Can he go shopping without screaming? Is it a matter of being in a booster or highchair?

I'm not a fan of the philosophy of making children nap. None of my siblings would nap regularly. Refused to do it as soon as they could make their will known. Of course, every now and then they'd get an afternoon nap in (such as after a day at the zoo) but that's it.


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## crazydiamond (May 31, 2005)

Reading your description, it honestly sounds like he an average 3 year old. A bit spirited perhaps, but nothing out of the ball park. Maybe there are things that you haven't written about or a level of extremety that's not being communicated well and I'm missing it.

But my very laid back DD suddently turned into a monster around age 3. Seriously, she was the sweetest kid and suddenly around her 3rd birthday she started throwing huge hour-long tantrums, throwing things at me, clawing me, pulling my hair, etc. These were, literally, knock-down drag-out fights. . .and all I could do was lock her in her room until she could calm down. Sometimes I'd do the hug-hold, but I found that physical contact only made things worse. We just never went out to eat either. . it just wasn't worth it. Now she is turning 4 this coming week and in the last few months is back to my normal sweet girl. She stopped napping for good at 18 mos. If you tried to "make" her nap now she'd throw a tantrum for sure.

And my son. . well he is barely 1 but he is high needs and super active. He's already gotten into the fireplace and made a mess (LOL! seems to be a very attractive object). He doesn't sleep (like, even from day 1 has never napped like a newborn should). Yeah, I don't get a break from him either and being in school is hard (all my studying happens at night). He will only sleep at night with someone next to him and and only 2 hrs at a time, at that.

My kids are totally normal. DD tends to be more sensory avoiding and DS tends to be more sensory-seeking. I don't think either of them have any diagnosable condition, but that's how I'd classify their personalities. Of course, I don't know how my DS will be at age 3.5, but I know that I will most likely have to still be watching him like a hawk like I do now. The boy is literally on-the-go for 12+ hrs straight. . and while it's exhausting for me, I don't think it's out of the realm of normal.


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## mommyoftim (Apr 25, 2009)

I just want to say that he has been this way his whole three in a half years. We have gone from sleeping 12-16 hours a night sometimes to a week or two of absolutly no sleep at all. We have never been able to go out to eat since he was born. I have tried the buddy system but he get frustrated so fast that he just starts throwing a tantrum. As far as the climbing on the couch he climbs on them and jumps off the back he has started to jump off of anything he can get ahold of its horrible I am afraid he is gonna break his arms or legs. He has already had three concusions. He is constantly irritable and moody. He has seperation anxiety like nobodies business. He has also now started sleeping next to me on the floor because he says that he is scared. He is constantly saying he is scared. I have tried to ask what he is scared of and he just says over and over he is scared while constantly crying to the point he can't breathe. We have had night terrors to the point where I had to put him in the shower to get him to wake up. Most of the time he refuses to eat and is extremely skinny because of it I keep getting yelled at by the doctor because he just barely went over 30 pounds a month ago. I will start keeping a journal to see how long the changes last in him. I don't think this is normal I have taken care of alot of kids during this stage and I have even had family take him and say they will never watch him again cause they can't handle him including grandma. Thanks for the replies.


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## jt'smum (Apr 13, 2004)

I don't know a lot about by bi-polar but my uncle is a psy. and he said it is VERY hard to diagnose in young children (under 14) as there are so many other developmental things happening at the same time. I would try a therapist or something. I don't have much else to say except a lot of that seems very normal....


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## kathrineg (Jan 28, 2009)

I would think about taking him to a neurologist if possible.

The fact that he's had 3 concussions points to a possible brain injury--best to rule that out.

There's a chance that he was high needs before but is suffering from a neurological problem now.


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## Fairy4tmama (Sep 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommyoftim* 
I just want to say that he has been this way his whole three in a half years. We have gone from sleeping 12-16 hours a night sometimes to a week or two of absolutly no sleep at all. We have never been able to go out to eat since he was born. I have tried the buddy system but he get frustrated so fast that he just starts throwing a tantrum. As far as the climbing on the couch he climbs on them and jumps off the back he has started to jump off of anything he can get ahold of its horrible I am afraid he is gonna break his arms or legs. He has already had three concusions. He is constantly irritable and moody. He has seperation anxiety like nobodies business. *He has also now started sleeping next to me on the floor because he says that he is scared. He is constantly saying he is scared. I have tried to ask what he is scared of and he just says over and over he is scared while constantly crying to the point he can't breathe. We have had night terrors to the point where I had to put him in the shower to get him to wake up. Most of the time he refuses to eat and is extremely skinny because of it I keep getting yelled at by the doctor because he just barely went over 30 pounds a month ago. I will start keeping a journal to see how long the changes last in him. I don't* think this is normal I have taken care of alot of kids during this stage and I have even had family take him and say they will never watch him again cause they can't handle him including grandma. Thanks for the replies.

I don't have anything to offer WRT bipolor smp. but I wanted to second a pp posters suggestion that you ask for a referral to see a nerologist and add that you investiagate with your ped the possibility of food allergies/gastric illness all of these symptoms(bolded) could be indicitive of a food allergy/dye sensativity/celiac.


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## crazydiamond (May 31, 2005)

A trip to a neurologist can't hurt, but I see the above bolded description to be fairly normal in some kids. My dd had been sleeping by herself in her own room since 1 yo yet suddenly at 3.5 she started coming into my bed crying she was scared. This continues to happen every single night and yet I've been unsuccessful in getting her to identify the problem. Nght terrors can also be severe and scary, but they are rarely any consequence. My brother and I had them severly as children and eventually outgrew them, though I still sleep walk/talk and have episodes of sleep paralysis. The best thing is not to wake the child since almost always makes things worse. Also, if you can, teach breathing techniques to your child to prevent/stop hyperventilation due to panic. And 30lbs at 3.5 is onthe smaller side but still like 15-20 percentile according to the growth charts. If he's always been on the small side then that could just be how he is. For the refusal to eat, I'd see about allergies/intolerances, how his health seems otherwise, is he trying to exert control, and other behavioral issues. Keep a food journal to determine whether he's eating enough variety -- look over the course of week or two, not day, snce few toddlers eat balanced meals every single day.

That being said, I already said that I might just not be "getting" how extreme the behavior is and the doctor might not either. It would be very helpful to the doctor if you could videotape your ds during an episodes and then provide a frequency (ie, 3 times a day, every day or 1 time a day once a week). The key may not be in the behavior themselves but in the frequency and severity.


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## tinyblackdot (Aug 31, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommyoftim* 
I just want to say that he has been this way his whole three in a half years. We have gone from sleeping 12-16 hours a night sometimes to a week or two of absolutly no sleep at all. We have never been able to go out to eat since he was born. I have tried the buddy system but he get frustrated so fast that he just starts throwing a tantrum. As far as the climbing on the couch he climbs on them and jumps off the back he has started to jump off of anything he can get ahold of its horrible I am afraid he is gonna break his arms or legs. He has already had three concusions. He is constantly irritable and moody. He has seperation anxiety like nobodies business. He has also now started sleeping next to me on the floor because he says that he is scared. He is constantly saying he is scared. I have tried to ask what he is scared of and he just says over and over he is scared while constantly crying to the point he can't breathe. We have had night terrors to the point where I had to put him in the shower to get him to wake up. Most of the time he refuses to eat and is extremely skinny because of it I keep getting yelled at by the doctor because he just barely went over 30 pounds a month ago. I will start keeping a journal to see how long the changes last in him. I don't think this is normal I have taken care of alot of kids during this stage and I have even had family take him and say they will never watch him again cause they can't handle him including grandma. Thanks for the replies.

How has he gotten 3 concussions? And why is he sleeping on the floor, do you think cosleeping with him would help?

Have you tried limiting his diet? Maybe taking out dyes, refined sugars and corn syrup, and nitrates?

Has he been tested for celiacs disease for his weight issues?

I personally dont think its possible to have bipolar that young since the brain has not fully developed to the point of being able to make that diagnosis. But maybe there is a metabolic disorder going on, or some other type of neurological things. The original post just sounds like a regular 3 year old, but the last post, sounds like there are things that you are probably right to be concerned about.

Have you talked about your concerns with your pedi?

Also has his blood sugar ever been tested?
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/typ...CTION=symptoms.


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## cjmz (Mar 13, 2009)

Sounds like the other posters have offered good advice as far as looking into other diagnosis'. But you also need to take care of yourself and your schooling.

Sounds like you have not asked your ex to help take on some of the burden so that your son has two parents involved in his welfare. There should be some way that you can have time to concentrate on your studies while trying to sort the medical issues at hand.


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## churndash (Mar 25, 2009)

My father is bipolar. Yes, absolutely children can and do inherit these mood disorders.

Bipolar in children is sometimes misdiagnosed as ADD or ADHD because doctors are looking for the classic ADULT bipolar symptoms in children. A child's bipolar symptoms are different.

*Very Common*

Separation Anxiety

Rages & Explosive Temper Tantrums (lasting up to several hours)

Marked Irritability

Oppositional Behavior

Frequent Mood Swings

Distractibility

Hyperactivity

Impulsivity

Restlessness/ Fidgetiness

Silliness, Goofiness, Giddiness

Racing Thoughts

Aggressive Behavior

Grandiosity

Carbohydrate Cravings

Risk-Taking Behaviors

Depressed Mood

Lethargy

Low Self-Esteem

Difficulty Getting Up in the Morning

Social Anxiety

Oversensitivity to Emotional or Environmental Triggers

*Common*

Bed-Wetting (especially in boys)

Night Terrors

Rapid or Pressured Speech

Obsessional Behavior

Excessive Daydreaming

Compulsive Behavior

Motor & Vocal Tics

Learning Disabilities

Poor Short-Term Memory

Lack of Organization

Fascination with Gore or Morbid Topics

Hypersexuality

Manipulative Behavior

Bossiness

Lying

Suicidal Thoughts

Destruction of Property

Paranoia

Hallucinations & Delusions

These all come from a book that I recommend, called "The Bipolar Child" by Demitri and Janice Papolos.

Some people might say "oh my kid has those symptoms" but those symptoms, coupled with a family history of mood disorders points to manic-depression, not just "being a 3 year old."

Find a pediatric psychiatrist to evaluate your son. Regular peds won't know what to look for.

I know this is exhausting for you, but somehow you've got to find a way to make sure your son is never alone. Good luck to you. I know this his hard, but your son is in there somewhere. Bravo to you for continuing to seek help.


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## LionTigerBear (Jan 13, 2006)

Wow, I disagree with posters who say that is normal. It is not normal at all. I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I agree that seeing a neurologist might be a great route to take. A pediatric psychologist would probably just prescribe drugs and I don't think that's very safe for a three-year-old. I would also strongly suggest you look into and research the GAPS diet and protocol. In fact I can't suggest it strongly enough.


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## churndash (Mar 25, 2009)

.


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## SoCaliMommy (Jun 11, 2004)

I also disagree with the posters that said the behavior is normal 3yr old behavior it's not normal.

Hope you get some answers


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## mommyoftim (Apr 25, 2009)

He has had three concussions from jumping off of things we have child proofed the house so that he hasn't had one in quite awhile. My son does have two parents as my fiance' lives with us but is in school all day while I am at home. I have not been able to attend school myself because my son can't go to preschool. As for his real dad being in the picture we have restraining orders against him for being abusive to me. He also threw my son when he was a year old and my son landed on the bed so he didn't get hurt. He has never really known his dad and if I can keep it that way I won't let him. If my son wants to pursue finding him later thats up to him. They have already done the neurological test and nothing they can find. I have read alot of literature about children and bipolar. Does anyone out there have a child that has been diagnosed bipolar at this age. I have started trying different ways of parenting with my little boy according to the bipolar child ideas and he seems to be responding well. We haven't had a major fits in the last two days. It just seems that with me being bipolar and his dad have issues with mental problems. I dont want to just dismay this as normal behavior and not get him help. That seems like telling an autistic child oh sorry thats just normal for you and you will grow out of it. Anyways thanks for all the post and help.


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## tinyblackdot (Aug 31, 2007)

Hm....do you think this all could be behavior due to his inability to deal with any of the extream situations going on in his life? When i was a child i remember just being soooo angry and scared all of the time, I didnt trust anyone, and i didnt know how to deal with what was happening around me, so i reacted in overdrive ( with fear and anger and panic).

Have you thought about seeking out a child developmentalist to help you? Even if they are unabel to make a diagnosis this young, to be able to give you some other resources for you and your family, might make a world of difference.

Also i have a good friend whos dd has yet to be diagnosed, and she has her in a special preschool for children with ADD/autism and other disorder that can effect behavior, have you looked into finding something like that?

((hugs)) mama, i have battled with bipolar in my own life (i was diagnosed at 7) and with other family members, and i have a close friend that is battling with it with her young child as well. I hope you can find some answers.


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## heartmama (Nov 27, 2001)

There is too much going on in this post for anyone to be able to assess your situation online. I would be really hesitant to ask for or give advice over the internet for a situation with so many factors. You have described an environment with conditions that are legitimate stressors on a young child--the introduction of a step parent, coping with a mother's hospitalization, multiple concussions etc. Additionally you are bringing into the situation a predisposed fear that your child will turn out like you or his father. Also, it is not clear whether dietary or other allergen problems have been thoroughly eliminated. It is impossible to assess whether your three your old is reacting the only way he can to environmental stress, or whether he actually has a congenital or acquired health problem.

I think it's always safe to suggest an elimination diet, consistent discipline, and consistent daily routine/caregivers. Keep changes in his environment to an absolute minimum. Build up your own toolbox of parental coping skills. If he has had multiple concussions I think a neurologist is in order.

But there is no possible way to diagnose a child with anything over the internet, or really give solid accurate advice until many, many factors in this situation have been carefully eliminated. Any good diagnosis is a long process of careful elimination. I think as you identify and address specific factors, you will be closer to having a clear understanding of your son's health.


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## LionTigerBear (Jan 13, 2006)

: to everything heartmama said. There is a lot going on here.


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## mommyoftim (Apr 25, 2009)

So basically what I am feeling is I am a bad mom just like my mother keeps telling me. I am trying to provide the best possible enviroment for my son and to help him cope with everything that is why I am spending so much time at home with him. My mother keeps telling me she will just take him and he will have a better life. So maybe because I am so messed up that would be the best for him. I don't know what else to say but he has been my life since he was born. I can't afford therapy or psych doctors as I have no insurance.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

MommyofTim, seems to me that it's not your son who needs 'fixing' but your mom's attitude.

MDC is a great resource for getting suggestions on handling specific difficulties or even just getting reassurance that you aren't the only one dealing with a given problem. Welcome!


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommyoftim* 







So basically what I am feeling is I am a bad mom just like my mother keeps telling me. I am trying to provide the best possible enviroment for my son and to help him cope with everything that is why I am spending so much time at home with him. My mother keeps telling me she will just take him and he will have a better life. So maybe because I am so messed up that would be the best for him. I don't know what else to say but he has been my life since he was born. I can't afford therapy or psych doctors as I have no insurance.














































I don't know about bipolar disorder, but you sound depressed. (And your mom isn't helping.) I know they're of mixed quality, but does your city or state offer sliding scale therapists? Are you getting out in the sun regularly? Exercising? Don't know if that sort of thing helps bipolar-related depression, but I do know it helps stress in general.

http://www.helium.com/items/469559-b...ts-from-nature lists nutrients that help some people. So even if you can't get things diagnosed, you might be able to create some improvement by changing your family's diet.

(Oddly, I was looking up information about chewing gum earlier and learned that chewing gum increases acetylcholine levels--which is mentioned in the link above as something that helps with mood disorders)

Anyway, sorry this isn't more helpful.


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## heartmama (Nov 27, 2001)

It sounds like there are some really difficult dynamics for you to cope with in your situation. I hope you can find the help you need. It is tough when you don't have insurance that covers counseling services. As a pp said, you may find a clinic with sliding scale fees. I think you should make sure your own emotional needs are adequately supported first, before trying to process what is happening with your son.


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## PiePie (Oct 2, 2006)

Your son should be able to get health insurance through your state's SCHIP plan. I understand that you have a lot of fears about hereditary conditions and it can be difficult to sort out.


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## mommyoftim (Apr 25, 2009)

I have been searching high and low for help and was able to find some kind of community counseling program that will do an assessment on my little boy. I will be taking him in on monday for that. I will let everyone know how that goes. I am really happy that there is somebody that is willing to help me the lady that will be doing the assessment seemed really nice.


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## blessedwithboys (Dec 8, 2004)

i can only share my btdt with you...my now 14.5yo ds was a terror and could have been dx adhd and given meds just for my asking. i decided to do environmental modification, dietary eliminations, lots of outdoor play and we stopped vaxing. he is now physically under control, but is mentally very distractable. yet, he gets great grades and everyone likes him...he's just absent minded

fast forward 7 yrs to ds2. he was never vaxed and we had already established a much healthier diet and lifestyle by the time he was born. his behavior was offthe charts...so much worse than "adhd". long story short, he has BPD.

please be sure to read over the links and info on pg 1...the posters were right on with that info. and make sure whoever evals him knows the difference between bp in adults and kids...for ex., ask them if they can define and identify ultradian cycling. if not, smile politely, finish your seesion, and then find someone else who can.

youre not a bad mom, and you didnt cause these issues with your LO, whether or not the dx is BPD or just high needs/spirited child. HTH


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

mama i am just wondering are you thinking something is wrong with your son because your mom is constantly making judgement calls on you as a parent. in general it seems to me you need a lot of self esteem help with your role as a parent.

how about you getting some help for yourself. and putting some distance between you and your mom. at least for starters.

i know there are some sliding scale places that you can visit for yourself that could possibly help you out.

so maybe after your sons appointment you can focus on yourself.

what about your fiance? How much do you believe what he says about you as a mom? are you kinda buying into the belief that just because you have BPD you cant be a good mom?

I can see why your mom might have that bias. But a schizo and BPD are two different things and you cannot equate schizo with BPD (which is what i am assuming your mother is doing to explain why she feels seh will make the better parent).

there is the Mental Health Board here. you could probably post there and talk to other moms with BPD and see how they are doing as parents.

maybe even find a BPD support group that meets once a week and see if there is something there that helps you out. i think some of the hospitals actually have support groups themself.

i agree with PP on everything that has been said. you really have a lot on your plate. if all that was happening in my life i would be waaaaaay overwhelmed. but please get some help for yourself too. you are equally important as your son if not more important. he NEEDS you - not his gma as his mom.


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## suzukiaustin (Sep 10, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LionTigerBear* 
Wow, I disagree with posters who say that is normal. It is not normal at all. I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I agree that seeing a neurologist might be a great route to take. A pediatric psychologist would probably just prescribe drugs and I don't think that's very safe for a three-year-old. *I would also strongly suggest you look into and research the GAPS diet and protocol. In fact I can't suggest it strongly enough.*









:

From a person who suffered unnecessarily from gluten intolerance, I would strongly urge you to get this book (Gut and Psychology Syndrome), not only for your son but also for yourself.

Blessings to you and your family.


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## mommyoftim (Apr 25, 2009)

:My son woke up this morning in a wonderful mood. Around two o'clock this afternoon he walked over to me while I was sitting on the couch and for no reason pulled my hair. I said that wasn't very nice and then he starting hitting me. I tried to calm in him down by laying with him but he instantly started headbutting me. I back off trying not to get hit and he starting beating his head on whatever was around. So I did what my counselor told me to do when he decides to have one of these rage fits and put his legs between mine and my hand on his and just give him a big hug and wait for the rage to pass. He somehow was able to wittle his way out of my hands and ripped off my glasses and threw them. Then as I was trying to get his hand back he managed to get my hand in his mouth and ended up biting me twice on the hand and once on the arm. After about an hour of this daddy walked in and seen that I was trying to control him. My little boy suddenly stop screaming and turned over and was instantly asleep. Probably wore himself out. These happen quite regularly and I normally just go put him in the car like I was instructed to do and let them pass at least in his car seat he can't hurt himself or others around. These raging tantrums have lasted up to three hours. I don't know honestly what to do with him. Hopefully Mondays appointment will shed some light on our situation.


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## tinyblackdot (Aug 31, 2007)

To me it sounds like he is a very angry little kid and doesnt know where or how to express his anger.

Sorry mama, hope you get some answers.


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## ma_vie_en_rose (Jun 7, 2008)

My DSD (10yo) has a working dx of BP/ADHD. She has a long family history of BP on her mother's side including her mother. Her symptoms came on around 5yo when she started school. There is a very long story with misdiagnosis stemming from it being very difficult to properly dx young children, especially with drs that are not taking a full history on her.

I can not tell from your description if you son has a mood disorder, but there are a couple things that stand out with the lack of sleeping and night terrors. That could just be a phase, though. The family history of mental illness is also a red flag. Any kind of dx'ing online is not advisable anyway. If you are concerned, I would read into the link to bpkids.org on the first page. I would also read the book _The Bipolar Child_ by Dmitiri Papolos MD and Janice Papolos. http://www.bipolarchild.com/ I would also have him evaluated by a nuerologist or a nueropsychologist AND a child psychiatrist.

In the meantime, I would just really work on your parenting approach with him. The gentler the better in my experience. Counseling is also a great idea to help cope with your entire situation. Good luck.


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## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

I was diagnosed with childhood bipolar disorder at 6 and now suspect my 5 year old has it.

I really have nothing to add but







and that I think you should try and get it checked out and be gentle on yourself (easier said than done, I know!)

I made a post about my daughter's possible illness in the Mental Health board here on Mothering and there is also a community of bipolar moms there. HTH somewhat


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## Mama.Pajama (Jul 16, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heartmama* 
You have described an environment with conditions that are legitimate stressors on a young child--the introduction of a step parent, coping with a mother's hospitalization, multiple concussions etc. Additionally you are bringing into the situation a predisposed fear that your child will turn out like you or his father. Also, it is not clear whether dietary or other allergen problems have been thoroughly eliminated.









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## Heavenly (Nov 21, 2001)

There are definitely a lot of red flags in your post. He sounds a lot like my son when he was 3 and he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and anxiety disorder when he was 7. Most places will not diagnose a 3 year old but if you can at least get him on their radar now you will establish a long pattern of this behaviour. I would start doing mood charts. If you pm me your e-mail address I can send you the one that I choose. You just need to print one off every day. I had over 2 months worth of daily mood charts to show the psychiatrist when my son was assessed and that is a large part of the reason he was diagnosed because they were able to see the patterns in his behaviour. My 3 year old is being watched for bipolar disorder as well because she has many of the symptoms so I understand very well what you are going through. I also have a 6 year old with no signs of the disorder at all. Bipolar disorder is very genetic. Children with one parent with bipolar disorder have a 20-30% chance of having the disease. If your child's father has mental illness as well then the risks go up (my DH's family has depression and anxiety disorders in it so my children's chance was higher).

Oh, and NO it would not be better to let your mom raise your son! You are his mother and bipolar disorder does NOT stop you from being a good parent. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when I was 17 so I know what I'm talking about. Good luck!


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## Carita (Mar 3, 2008)

Another mom on another AP board - sweet mom, loves her kids. She feared her son might be bi-polar. She had him evaluated originally thinking maybe ADHD (I think she has ADHD herself), and the diagnosis came back bi-polar. Its a hard thing becuase the symptoms o these overlapped. Her husband did not want to seek treatment and he blamed it on a misdiagnosis.

In the aftermath, her mommy instinct was telling her something was not right, and time passed. I suggested she have him re-evaluated and to do research about ADHD vs bi-polar, and that if drugs are the route, that you may need to try a few before you find the right one athe right dose. Then she found her son in his bedroom playing with a belt around his neck and she was so scared, but she talked to him (now he was almost 8 at this point). He was telling her about all these feelings of depression and inadequacy. At that moment, she knew her mommy instinct was right all along. And she is getting him the help he needs.

My point is - mommy instinctis very strong. I am not disagreeing with what any one else had said - I think dietary changes could help, I think that knowing about his dad makes it even harder for him. But also, follow your insincts and get him the help he needs. Even if it is just counseling at first (and try a few counselors until you find the right one). Genetic predisposition is huge in this. While things do sound to us like a spirited 3 year old, you know your son the best.

((hugs))


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## EdnaMarie (Sep 9, 2006)

Bipolar is not a diagnosis for three-year-olds because what it essentially means is, "This person has the emotional maturity of a three-year-old." Similarly ADHD essentially is a diagnosis of "having the attention span of a toddler."

So it will be pretty hard to find a decent psych who will diagnose those conditions in toddlers.

That is not to say that yous son's behavior is normal. But being a high-needs toddler is not the same as having a mental illness. I hope your appointment goes well!


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## Heavenly (Nov 21, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *EdnaMarie* 
Bipolar is not a diagnosis for three-year-olds because what it essentially means is, "This person has the emotional maturity of a three-year-old." Similarly ADHD essentially is a diagnosis of "having the attention span of a toddler."

So it will be pretty hard to find a decent psych who will diagnose those conditions in toddlers.

That is not to say that yous son's behavior is normal. But being a high-needs toddler is not the same as having a mental illness. I hope your appointment goes well!

Wow! How incredibly rude. Bipolar disorder does not mean "having the emotional maturity of a 3 year old." You obviously know NOTHING at all about bipolar and the complexities of the disease. Why are you commenting as if you know what you are talking about when you VERY obviously do not?


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## Super Glue Mommy (Jan 4, 2009)

not much to add - I was wrongly diagnosed with bipolar during my child and teen years (after my wrong diagnosis of ADHD) I would look into quite a few things before bi polar. (nuerological difficulties, food intolerances, etc)


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## Mama.Pajama (Jul 16, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Heavenly* 
Wow! How incredibly rude. Bipolar disorder does not mean "having the emotional maturity of a 3 year old." You obviously know NOTHING at all about bipolar and the complexities of the disease.









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Hmm. The "emotional _maturity_," eh? Obviously the person doesn't have any personal experience with the bipolar disorder. Coming from a family of several bipolar individuals (sometimes I wonder if the disease is generationally self-perpetuating), I find that summation vapid & insulting.


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## mommyoftim (Apr 25, 2009)

Well the assessment went well. They are referring him to a clinician for family counseling and further assessment. He did have issues with the lady closing the door and he was being very shy and wounldn't talk. She did feel he had some major anxiety issues and depression but he will be further assessed by the clinician for any more issues. She also recommended that we attend mommy and me parenting classes. With the extensive problems that we have gone through we are gonna start with counseling and see where that goes. But she also said because there is such a high risk for him to have Bipolar since both I and his dad had it then she wouldn't say that he isn't on track for him to have it to since he does show alot of signs of bipolar. As for the person that said that being bipolar means you have the mentallity of a three year old then there are alot of us that should not be in society but in a mental ward where we can have twenty four hour care, since we are not older than three. Anyways thanks for all the help and we just have to work closely with counselors and maybe it is nothing more and I really don't want him to be bipolar it sucks and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.


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## PlayaMama (Apr 1, 2007)

i don't have much experience with this but i will say that you sound like a very dedicated mommy that is MAKING sure her kiddo gets the help he needs. i'm so glad the assessment went well and i hope that you and your son are able to improve his ability to deal with his situation.

and, i would just add, your own mother doesn't sound very supportive of you as a parent, but that doesn't mean you are any of the things she says.


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