# Any other loooooooong-range co-sleepers out there? SUPPORT ONLY PLEASE!



## mamacrab (Sep 2, 2002)

Hello, my name is mamacrab and I co-sleep with my 6 and a half year old.









I feel like I need some support, reassurance, and validation about this. I KNOW it is the right thing for me and my daughter...but I also know (think?) it is pretty unusual in our culture.

I'd like to hear form other long-range co-sleepers who aren't trying to solve the "problem" because it is not a problem to me!

Why do I co-sleep with dd? There are many reasons:

1) DD is an intense, spirited child. She is very verbal. Sometimes we really butt heads, sometimes she has a really rough day. She's sensitive and emotional. Co-sleeping is a wonderful, peaceful, calming thing for her.

2) DD slept in a crib until age 18 months and we even did some (brief, modified) CIO with her.







SO I am in no rush to force her to sleep alone now.

3) I have a super-attached 2 year old. DD sees him nursing and being carried all the time. She is incredibly patient and understanding about seeing his needs come first. I feel like co-sleeping gives her a turn to be bathed in that same unconditional love.

4) DS also sleeps in my bed. When I am up late at night or early in the morning, they naturally gravitate towards each other and I often find them sound asleep and all snuggled up together. I think its good for their relationship and I hope it fosters their sibling bond.

And last reason: DD likes to sleep in our bed and I like to have her there.









The only "problem" I have at all with co-sleeping is the fact that I think I might scare away new parents from trying it out! Many new moms have said things to me like, "Oh so co-sleeping really worked for you? How old was DD when she moved to her own bed?" or "And how did it go when she moved to her own room?" Then I have to admit that she still sleeps with me and I can almost see them thinking "SIX YEARS? No way! Now where did I put that Ferber book??!!" It sounds crazy but I really do worry that moms who find out my 6 year old co-sleeps will vow NEVER to co-sleep with their baby!! And that makes me sad.

The thing is, I think there ARE gentle ways to transition out of the family bed at age 1, age 2, age 3, or whenever! But *I* don't feel the need to do that because co-sleeping is so wonderful and beneficial to my particular family.

So, there's my novel. Please, here on MDC of all places, tell me I'm not the only one!!


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## katie-p- (Jul 14, 2002)

I have a 5 1/2 yr. old and almost 2 yr. old and we all cosleep also. I think when they're ready they will definitely let us know. I enjoy it too especially when I see the 2 all suggled up close. I don't see anything wrong with it. I always think back to when I was young and all the horrifying nightmares I had and how safe I felt when my mom and dad would let me sleep with them. Maybe you can try and think up some creative answers to give people who ask. Or maybe find some statistics about cosleeping and ages around the world. Trust yourself you're doing what you feel is right for your family.


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## callmemama (May 7, 2002)

I asked my 4yo recently if he wanted to sleep in his bed all by himself. He thought about it and said "I will when I'm bigger, Mama". What a little sweetheart







We're still nursing too and don't advertise either one IRL.


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## MamaSoleil (Apr 24, 2002)

Dd is almost 5, and ds is 8 mts. When I was pg, I thought I 'had' to get dd to her own bed...but I"ve since changed my mind. For one reason that you listed...she sees me nursing, constantly holding ds, never get upset with him...she's so understanding..that I don't want to take our nighttime bond away from her!!!! I have no problems with this, and in her own time, she will seek her bed!!!!










http://f1.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/nat...&.dnm=5d44.jpg


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## QueeTheBean (Aug 6, 2002)

Bless you--you sound like a mama who is really in tune with her kids & what they need!

As far as other people go, you can tell them that this is what has worked for YOU and your DD, but that you know families that co-slept for a much shorter time (even if you only know them thru MDC!). It all depends on the child and the parents. I follow the same method when I talk about BF--don't want to scare people off of it when I talk about extended BF, ya know? So, I just tell them that we didn't plan on EBF, but that as we got into it, it just seemed right. I hope that I am encouraging without sounding pushy. Maybe a similar method would work for you & co-sleeping discussions.

Good luck!


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## TurboClaudia (Nov 18, 2003)

My grandma (my mom's mom) lived with us from the time before I was born until she passed away when I was 15, and my sister and I both co-slept with her until I was about 12. My sister continued sleeping with her off and on for the next few years, but my parents had just finished building an addition to our house when i was 12 so the draw of our own bedroom was enough to bring my sister to sleep there. My parents never thought it was weird for us to sleep in grandma's bed since she was like an extra parent around the house. We still had our own bedroom where we could entertain our friends, but sometimes we just felt more comfortable sleeping with grandma.

And as for advocating co-sleeping and people's stupid questions (when did she move back to her own bed, etc.) I think it depends on the particular person I would be talking to but I might just not bring it up if it was someone I didn't know well. You do what works for you, and that's your prerogative as a parent.

warmly,
claudia


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## cottonwood (Nov 20, 2001)

My oldest is 7 and he still sleeps with me. I asked him once when he thought he might like to have his own bed. He said, "hm, maybe when I'm 16." :LOL

I just asked my 5-year-old why he likes to sleep next to me, and he said, "if I sleep next to you I have good dreams."









I honestly don't understand why it's considered weird. To me, it's like saying that giving someone a hug is weird. It's just another kind of physical closeness, a way of expressing affection and love. You hear adults say all the time that they don't like to sleep alone -- this isn't a sexual thing, it's about feeling the physical closeness of the one they love, it makes them feel more emotionally close. What is weird to me is that people are supposed to have no need for that until they're adult, and then suddenly they are supposed to have that need?









Anyway, to us it is completely natural. Kids certainly prefer it, which has to tell you something about the nature of the thing. And I like it too. What are social customs and parenting theories in the face of that?


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## onlyboys (Feb 12, 2004)

double post


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## onlyboys (Feb 12, 2004)

My son co-slept with us until he was 7.5 years old. At that point, he moved to a mattress on the floor, because of space issues.

Now, he sleeps in his own room on the nights he chooses and our room when he wants. He usually picks to sleep in his own bed.

I would be absolutely fine with him sleeping with us still, but he chose to sleep elsewhere.

I miss him in our bed, and get up to check on him.









You're doing the right thing--only you know what's best for yours...

Amanda


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## sahli29 (Jan 23, 2004)

My dd is 5 and ds will be 2 we co-sleep.Dh is on the road most of the time,but when he is home it is cramped.He would prefer the kids in their own room,and was laughing quite hard when I suggested the other day that we should bring in and line up dd's full sized bed with our own for more space.
He said," Well I guess we won't be sleeping alone for quite some time?"<g>
I figure the kids will *move out* when ready just like they weaned andpotty trained when ready.
It is to bad people seem to get the wrong ideas about co-sleeping like they do about extended bfing. I know it works for us and that is all that matters.
Take care!
Sara


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## sunnmama (Jul 3, 2003)

We do a modified co-sleeping (dd and dh don't like to sleep together--but they both like to sleep with me! :LOL ). So I lay down with dd in her full size bed until she is asleep, go to bed with dh at bedtime, and then dd calls me to her room when she awakes in middle of the night. I have been walking across the hall every night for 3 years and counting.....

Whenever this comes up IRL, I get the comments "I wouldn't keep that up unless you plan on doing that for a REALLY long time!" (usually meaning school age). I always reply: "That's fine. I plan on doing it as long as she'll let me!". I LOVE sleeping with her, and sometimes will switch beds when I can't fall asleep next to dh. Her breathing always lulls me to sleep.


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## isleta (Nov 25, 2002)

Another long term co-sleeper here









Ds is 4 and loves to sleep with me still!! He was an off/on co-sleeper untill about age 2 when it became full-time!

It usually does not come up IRL unless I bring it up.

Your reasons are so in-tune with your family! Good for you!! And them


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## Openskyheart (Nov 25, 2002)

We're long time co-sleepers too!

For a looooonnnngggg time we had both kids in our bed (boy was it crowded!). Our son (now 9.5) started sleeping in his own room when he was 7. Our daughter (7.5) now falls asleep in our bed while I read to her, then we move her to her room, and we fall asleep, then several times a week, she crawls back into bed with us for a couple of hours in the morning.

As she got bigger, she really took up space (she sleeps fully sprawled out), so her 6'7" dad, and I were not sleeping well at all.

This arrangement has worked out well for all of us so far. We all feel like our needs for closeness, and sleep are being met. This was not always the case (dh and I lost a lot of sleep for many years), and I'm glad we've been able to work it out this way.

BTW, I know LOTS of people who still have 7, 8 and 9 year olds frequently crawling into bed with them in the middle of the night. It's normal and common! They just don't call it co-sleeping cuz they don't start the night out that way LOL!

Laura


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## Dar (Apr 12, 2002)

Eleven years and counting...

Rain does have her own bed and did sleep there for a while, on and off, but now it's been at least 6 months since the last time she slept by herself (except on sleepovers).

I have a friend whose two children both moved out of the family bed within the past year, at 11 and 14....

Dar


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## ekblad9 (Nov 21, 2001)

I didn't read all of the replies but wanted to chime in here. We've always co slept until the child wants their own bed. Then we have an "open bed" policy. If they want to sleep with us they are welcome to. Most of the time the older kids want to sleep on the floor in our room so they can have space. They call it "camping out" with their sleeping bag and such.


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## annethcz (Apr 1, 2004)

Like the previous poster, we have an 'open bed' policy. We've gone to an unusual bed set up- we have our queen size matress & box spring on the floor, with a twin also on the floor pushed up next to the queen. DS (almost 4) and DD (2) each have their own room, and usually start out the night in seperate beds. But most mornings, we have a bed-full. Some nights we all start in one bad- depends on what the day was like.

I, too, like sleeping with my kids (except when they kick me in their sleep, LOL). So no- you're not the only one [







]


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## MamaAllNatural (Mar 10, 2004)

We do the same as Amy with the oldest in a slumberbag on the floor. He's 5 1/2 and hardly ever comes in to sleep with us now. I actually felt really sad about it.

My Aunt did the "camping out" thing with her kids too (she has 6) and there would be a couple in her bed, a couple on the floor. Most of them slept in her room until they were closer to ten. So, you're not alone and you're doing great!


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## brandywine (Mar 25, 2004)

Both of my kiddos (ages 4 and 6) have their beds in our room. They usually start the night in their beds but gravitate to ours, where they're always welcome. We get alot of negative feedback from extended family, but have no plans to change.


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## mamacrab (Sep 2, 2002)

Thank you, everyone, for sharing your stories!! I was afraid I wouldn't get any responses. It feels really nice to know that I'm not the only one who is co-sleeping with a "big kid." I know, it shouldn't matter what others are doing- I need to follow my own heart- but sometimes it feels nice "finding your tribe," too.

Mamasoleil,thank you for posting that beautiful pic!!! Did everyone followthat link? If you didn't, go take a peek right now. Those two sweet babies, the teddy bear, the boppy, even all the different fabrics and colors- what a wonderful photo!!

I have some pretty cute co-sleeping pictures, too, I'll see if I can dig one up.

Thanks again for all the replies- I love reading this thread!


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## 1xmom (Dec 30, 2003)

My dd is 4 and we still co-sleep. We used to read a story in her room and she would lay in her bed, but that didn't last long. Now we just read in my bed and I cuddle w/her until she's sleep. Sometimes if she is a little restless, I'll lay down for a little while and then let her fall asleep on her own, b/c on those days it's harder for her when I am right there. I love sleeping w/my dd and have no idea when she'll move on to her own bed.


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## Mom4tot (Apr 18, 2003)

Read 3/4 of the replies, wanted to chime in. We all sleep together...dd is 8 1/2 and ds is 3 1/2. Dd's twin bed is next to our queen. She has a pretty day bed in her own room, but doesn't choose to sleep there often. Every once in awhile she will say she wants to sleep there and she reads with a flashlight or something.
I wouldn't change it for the world.


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## muldey (May 8, 2002)

Dd,5.5,still sleeps with me.For many of the same reasons as the OP.I love sleeping with her.My ds is very high needs,and gets a lot of my attention during the day,so bedtime is her time.We talk and giggle(with dh usually telling us to quiet down,:LOL ) for a few minutes and then we both fall asleep.She still sleeps in my arms.Ds sleeps with dh on the couch,right in front of my bed.We'll usually move him to his toddler car bed near the foot of my bed since the couch is too small.My bed is only full size,so unfortunatly we don't all fit.

I can't stand to have my babies in another room.The few times they have slept on their own,I was up and down all night checking on them.With all our family has been through,we just need to hold on to each other as much as possible.For a while,ds was having nightmares(we're assuming because of his heart surgery)and dd was also having nightmares,she would tell us because she was afraid someone would take her away like her brother(long story).So I have no plans on making them sleep in their own beds.When they are ready,they will.I will also have an open bed policy,no matter how old they are.


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## homemademomma (Apr 1, 2004)

i sleep w/my baby and plan on sleeping with him as long as he'll let me. i have a question, though- right now we all sleep naked. i dont want my kid to think that bodies are innappropriate and need to be covered up, but i also dont know if it is appropriate to sleep naked with an older child. . . .i really dont know. what do you all do?


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## boycrazy (Feb 13, 2004)

Zach still creeps into our bed once in awhile. My aunt sleeps with her 7 yo. Its all good mama.

etided to add that my hubby always sleeps naked


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## darlindeliasmom (Nov 19, 2001)

So happy to see all you mommas and daddys out there happily sharing sleep. DD has her own bed, has had it since she was about 3, but I sleep in it most nights...

Our bed is only a double, and tho' Del is a quiet sleeper, DH is too selfsacrificing and would literally be falling out of bed rather than shove the little heat-seeking missile over...

So I start the night reading her stories and snuggling/saying prayers/singing her to sleep. Sometimes I get up and join dh (he works 3-11); some nights I spend the whole night with dd.

Some nights she then sleeps the whole night through alone, some nights she joins us. We have a total open door policy...heck, I was afraid of the dark, but I had 2 sisters in my room I could crawl in with. Delia only has us...and she's afraid of the dark. Just seems that it would be cruel to make her face it alone...we are all so small and vulnerable at bedtime, IMHO.


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## donimomof3 (Mar 21, 2004)

Quote:

_Originally posted by CK'sMama_
*Well, my DS is only 2 but I plan to have him in my bed until he decides he is ready for his own.

I slept with my mom until I was 10. I have so many wonderful memories of co-sleeping with my mom.*
My brother, sister and I all slept with my parents when we were young, and would occassionally drift back into their bed even when we were in our teens. In fact, it was a Saturday morning ritual up to the point when we started leaving home that we would all pile into bed with mom and da in the early morning hours. Mom would get up and make coffee, then we'd all sit in their bed and drink coffee and watch Buggs Bunny on TV (okay, I know my family is way weird  )

My kids all moved to their own beds by the time they were 3 or 4, but they still come get in the bed with us whenever they feel like it. There are many mornings we wake up with all three in the bed (ages 9,8,5). It's a normal thing for me (dh had to be won over to co-sleeping, because he was raiseed in a family where his parents locked the kids out of their room).

What other people think isn't important. It's what's best for you and your family. My mom grew up poor and slept in the same bed with her mom and two sisters, because they could only afford one bedroom and two beds (my grandfather died when my mom's youngest brother was a few months old and my mom was 8). All three boys slept in one bed and all the girls and their mom slept in the other. Mom always said a big kingsized bed with just her and my dad felt lonely. She loved having us all in bed with them. I feel the same way about my kids. Even though each of my kids have their own beds, many mornings I wake to find them all piled into one bed. I have to admit, though, that sleeping with my 9 year old ballet-dancing dd is a bit of challenge, since she dances in her sleep


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## [email protected] (Jan 5, 2002)

i am but am torn on the issue

i get empowered by all the positive things you folks say about doing it and how its not forever etc.

i guess i'm feeling a bit possessive about myself; i'd like to have some time that i'm not parenting - i'm a SAHM and now i parent all night too?

and there's dh sleeping with the electric blanket by himself - must be nice!!! do i miss his snoring? not at all!! i think what i really want right now is MY OWN bed


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## Seeking Refuge (Nov 2, 2002)

I slept with my older girls until they were seven and four and then they slept together for about another year. Eventually when they requested they moved to bunk beds and finally different rooms.

Ds will be three in August and although he does have a bed next to ours he generally still sleeps with us. We are not planning on changing that arrangement any time soon. Dh and I are both cuddly people and we enjoy cuddling with him at night.

Don't worry about what anyone else thinks and do what feels right for you


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## darlindeliasmom (Nov 19, 2001)

terri: I'm so right there with you some nights...nothing like crawling out of Delia's uncomfortable bed (really need a new box spring and mattress for my back) and be stopped halfway across the hall by the sound of DH's loudest snores...

They're the nights I wish we had a third bedroom. Sometimes I actually climb back in with the girl!!

Here'sd hoping you find some space for you in the day/night, and that you get some good restful









Mary, who never will get around to writing a siggie!!


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## Momsteader (Dec 13, 2002)

I didn't have a chance to read all the responses, but we have IRL friends who's dd's are almost 11 and 6 and they both co-sleep w/ mom and dad. And her 6 yo is still nursing.

My oldest actually WANTED to sleep on his own, he'd go and put himself down in his playroom on his play mat every night, so finally just got him a little bed and he was happy as a clam (That was at about 18 mos). Then he went through a time when he came to bed with us (2.5-3.5) off and on. Then when he was about 4, he HAD to co-sleep with me due to tight quarters. But, he always kept on his side of the bed, unless it was to snuggle up with his baby brother. Now that he's 7.5 and he loves his own bed, but will gladly go down to little brother's bed (they share a room) to comfort him if need be.

My littlest, goes to bed in his own room (we lay with him)--wants to be like big brother, but still needs snuggles (he's almost 4.5 and nursed until 3.5). Then, proably 4 of 7 nights he ends up in our room sometime in the middle of the night after a bathroom run.

And however they do it.....they all eventually make their way to their own beds


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## ekblad9 (Nov 21, 2001)

I don't know why I didn't do this before but I'm going to move this to the Nighttime Parenting Forum. Maybe it will get more responses there?


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## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

well, my oldest is only three, and we are attempting to transition him to his own bed without pressure, if that makes sense. but i'm responding because i slept in the same bed as my mom until i was about 8, and then shared a room until i was 14 (although he room sharing was more due to space issues than anything else. i probably would have moved to my own room at about 10, given the choice)

anyhow, i think i turned out alright


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## carmen veranda (Jan 27, 2003)

Yipeee!!!!

I sleep with my 9 year old and my almost 4 year old. My 9 yr old is spirited too. We butt heads too. Too much some times. At night she tells me her heart. In the dark, in our bed, we snuggle, she lets me physically love her up at bit. We hold hands. The little one goes right to sleep and we visit awhile. We giggle, we make up. We think up solutions. We need this time so much.

Sometimes when my teenager gets home form work late and takes a bath she will climb in with me too. And wake me up for a visit. We visit. I kiss her cheek and hold her hand. And try to pry my eyelids open. She tells me things and we get to be alone together, as everyone else is already asleep. And I have to get up in 4 hours. But she goes off to college in August and I will miss her so. So I go short on sleep and make time in the middle of the night for my baby.

I love the family bed. It has saved our family. With me working full time and school and soccer and work and friends and such, it gets hard to have tender quiet time with each kid. I parent in bed. Sometimes half asleep. And love surrounds us.


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## Marsupialmom (Sep 28, 2003)

I have a 9.5 yr old, 6 yr old, and 3 yr old we have an open bed policy.

And I could care less what others think.

Now, I will admit once my son his more of puberty (wet dreams age) I will no longer feel comfortable with him in my room all night. But I will never be against morning snuggles.


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## fishy (Dec 8, 2001)

my littel guy is 'only' 3.4 but he still sleeps with me and will continue to do so until he wants to. i am recently divorced, so its just the two of us and i am really in no hurry at all to get him in a separate bed.
when we got into our own place recently, the idea came up of him having his own bed (it was my idea, but really only to see what he would say, i pretty much knew what his response would be) and i mentioned to him if he would like his own bed. he said, yes, if i was going to sleep in it, too. when i said no, that i had meant, he said no, i want to sleep with you mom. i want to sleep together. and he would not discuss it any further. he is so funny. he has told me that he will stop nursing when he is 4, but will want to nurse again when he is 6. i suspect we are sleeping together for a long time. and its just great with me.









good for you mamas (OP and others) for doing whats best for your children and your family and not what is the 'norm' out htere.


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## Jay Wood (Mar 10, 2004)

My eldest son is so pleased to find that there are others who like him still sleep with mum and dad. When he was born we had the full babay room curtisy of mum. However just before his birth I had a vision which if you have read Jan Hunts book will have seen. It was that an alien had taken me to a distant planet and I was unable to commuincate my needs to them and every now and then they would put me in a comfortable room made of bars and cover me and then leave me. I realising that the baby room was a big mistake and Axel slept in our bed from than on. When craig came 2 years later I move into the other room with him but realised that that was not fair on Axel so we moved the other bed into the same room and we all slept together. When we moved to France we bought 2 single beds which are either side of our double bed. Martin & I take it in turns to sleep next to each boy and last thing at night and 1st thing in the morning we all snuggle together. It is the best part of the day when we all are warm and cosy together.

Older Mum with youthful Hubby and 2 beautiful boys

Your child does not carry the baggage you do, she/he is lighter so moves faster, follow him/her


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## HRC121799 (Aug 8, 2003)

we have a twin mattress pushed up to our queen our 4 y.o. ds is in thw twin and comes into our bed in the morning. he was (sadly) in his crib until 13mos old, then we finally got rid of our waterbed and got a regular mattress. The baby (9mos) sleeps most of the night between me & the snug-tuck pillow, sometimes he's between dh& i. The boys can be in our room as long as they want. We all sleep better together.


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## mom at home (Nov 19, 2001)

Quote:

_Originally posted by carmen veranda_
*
I sleep with my 9 year old and my almost 4 year old. My 9 yr old is spirited too. We butt heads too. Too much some times. At night she tells me her heart. In the dark, in our bed, we snuggle, she lets me physically love her up at bit. We hold hands. The little one goes right to sleep and we visit awhile. We giggle, we make up. We think up solutions. We need this time so much.
*
This is how it is with my 8 yr old dd. I don't go to sleep with her everynight, but she either goes to sleep with me, my dh, or on our bedroom floor. Sometimes she sleeps in her bed, sometimes in hers, sometimes on our floor, but she is always welcome. And we feel so peaceful laying next to each other and snuggling -really the only time she likes to snuggle.

I don't always sleep well with her in the bed as she really wiggles, so sometimes I go crawl in with my 6 yr old during the night, who I sleep very peacefully next to, unless she's already in my bed. We call it musical beds. I do wish we had a king size so we didn't have to move around so much to get comfortable, but it works, and one kid always has one parent if they want us. It's always easy when my dh is out of town because my dd's and I all sleep together every night, all night then, and I really like that. If I could convince my dh we'd have 2 big beds in our room and all start and end there every night, but he just can't quite get himself to agree to that. But the kids always sleep well when they are next to us and never wake up.

You are definitely not alone and almost all my friends co-sleep in some way or another, so there are lots of us out there. The only people I know who think this is wierd is my parents, but whatever.


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

I took this after a night of co-sleeping.









http://f1.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/mam...&.dnm=13f6.jpg

My 6.5 yr old, 5 yr old, and 17 month old all sleep with us still.







I *love* it for the most part, and I can't imagine having anything other than an open bed policy. We do only have a king sized bed though, and with five people(dh and I aren't exactly small) it is a bit crowded. We definately need another bed in the room. I don't think it's weird at all...
We do usually start out with the older two in a single bed together. Mostly so that I have enough room to fall asleep. LOL Once I'm asleep they crawl back in. They stay in their bed all night maybe once a week or less. I dream of the day when my kids are teens and want to come in and snuggle late and talk...I hope they will want to!! Seems to me the best way to reconnect...

I think you are doing a great job!


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## nikirj (Oct 1, 2002)

Thank you so much for this post.

I was about to ask about whether anyone thought my 4.5yo was getting too old.

We still co-sleep for many of the same reasons as the rest of you. DD co-slept with us from the beginning, moved out into her own bed (in our room) when she was 2yo (I'm pretty sure she just felt crowded - it was a twin and her brother had just been born, so she was pretty squished), but moved back in when DH moved away ahead of us and for the last 2 months has been co-sleeping again. See, I know she was happy sleeping on her own - but I know she is happier sleeping with us. And I am happier with her in with us. We are all moved now but we got a king-sized bed just so that we had this space - and now she gets enough room (she likes to have some space) and we don't feel crowded out, and we are in no hurry to change things. In fact, we haven't even bought the kids their own bed yet. Their bedroom is the 'guest room'/play room right now. We are having trouble finding motivation to change that when everyone is so happy sleeping together.

And how's this - I would ocassionally join my parents in bed, especially when I was sick, until I was 13! I have 3 siblings (as in there are 4 of us) and my parents had a cal. king just so they could accomodate all of us if they needed to. It was great. Feeling bad - hop in! But most of the time we just picked someone's room and all slept in there - and left my parents alone. I'm hoping for that with my kids 

I just feel like my daughter may feel left out in so many ways, especially with the 2.5yo nursing and her not, that I want her to feel IN, you know?


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## Mamid (Nov 7, 2002)

The only problem I see with extended co-sleeping isn't anything you do, its what your local CPS workers might think about it. They look for signs of abuse whether or not those signs are valid. And to them, cosleeping is abuse from birth. After all, its dangerous - all these studies show that it is!









Whatever you do, don't tell anyone that you're still cosleeping. CPS will take it the wrong way no matter what you try to tell them. Better yet, order the back issues of the cosleeping articles and have them on hand should CPS dare try anything. Worked for us when they came knocking last year.

Can you tell that I hate CPS?









Oh.. and btw... if they had ordered us to put DS into his own bed, I would have told the worker to buy it herself. Actually, I think I did.


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## SabrinaJL (Apr 9, 2004)

My daughter co-slept until she was almost 5. I was actually happy when she decided she wanted to sleep in her own bed. By then I was pretty much done with feet in my face, back, side, etc... all the time. Even with a king sized bed she was all over the place. But she still associates it with comfort (she's 10 now). If she's not feeling well or just wants to be with us she won't ask if she can sleep with us, she'll say "Can I cuddle with you guys?" She actually climbed in with us last night because she said her room was too cold. It was nice.


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

DH & I share a king bed with DD (5) and DS (2.5). I honestly hope they will be out at least part time by the time DS is 5ish. They will always be welcome but I wouldn't mind a little bit more ownership of my bed. I have never been a cuddly sleeper, but cuddlings w/a child is so easy--- they are so tiny and flexible!!!


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## flitters (Sep 18, 2003)

i just thought i'd cross post from another thread. dh and i don't have children yet (1 on the way!!!) but as a child who coslept until about age 11 or 12, here is my post from another thread offering the other perspective:

i coslept for many years.

i think i started to move into my own bed around age 4 or 5, but then my parents got divorced (my father developed drug problems) and i became even more attached to my mom and resumed cosleeping with her for another few years. i'm an only child so it was very uncrowded with just her and me in a king size bed. we would read and then go to sleep.

the interesting thing is that i was very independent otherwise. i attended an 8 week sleepaway camp about 6 hours from home which i loved for about 10 years starting when i was 7 or 8 years old (and still cosleeping) but i never experienced any homesickness at all (unlike most kids in my bunk). i would just be gone all summer and return home and resume cosleeping. i probably stopped around age 11 or 12 when i decided i wanted my own space.

dh and i will cosleep with our future children - i can't imagine nighttime parenting any other way.


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## ethan'smamaCT (Mar 27, 2004)

Check out the thread about "did anyone co-sleep with THEIR parents?", for some very reassuring info. about the long term effects of long term co-sleeping.


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## Mom2baldie (Oct 29, 2002)

I just wanted to tell you that you arent alone. I am also co-sleeping with my 6 year old DS and 2 year old DD. I am also 5 months pregnant and am wondering where I am going to put the new baby when s/he is born, because I know the other 2 arent going to want to give up their spaces beside me.







Honestly, I am hoping that my son will start wanting to sleep in his own bed within the next year or so, but he is not very independant and doesnt like to be alone, so I doubt it will happen any time soon.

I am really glad to see so many other responses, as I do tend to feel like an outsider about my son still co-sleeping and I dont ever talk to people about it. Of course I dont know very many people IRL that arent extremely mainstream either...


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## Cranberry (Mar 18, 2002)

Ds is almost 5 and stills sleeps with dh and me. It warms my heart every morning to wake up to his sweet face! What could be more wonderful??























Our bed *is* getting a little crowded with the 3 of us, but until he's ready to move into his own bed, he'll be welcome to sleep in ours.


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