# Toddler hitting and throwing, help!



## WannaBeMoreAP (Aug 5, 2007)

DS is 18 months. He is starting to hit and throw. Just a short while ago he threw a roll arounds ball at me and busted my lip. (Why are those things SO hard?) I know he didn't do it maliciously, he thought he was playing. I just don't know what to do to deal with this. We take him by the hand and reinforce that we don't hit or throw. But really, how much of what we're saying does he understand?

Help! I don't want to raise a sociopath. LOL


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## eastmillcreekmama (May 22, 2007)

Ahh, mine is 18 mo too, DD, and she has just discovered throwing as well. She revels in it, and LOVES it. BUt, sometimes it's an inappropriate item to throw, or she throws at us or the dog or cats. So I do one of the following:

1) We have worked on, and she understands, the concept of "gentle" and "giving skin" (like petting). If I want her to be gentler, I ask her to remember to be gentle, or give skin.

2) If that doesn't work, I give a choice. You can either be gentle with your toy, or if not, I will take it and put it away. What would you choose? She will usually choose to keep playing with it and be gentle. But the second she isn't gentle, away it goes. I always follow through with my consequence. That way, she knows I am serious!

3) Alternatively, I ask her to throw/hit on something inanimate, that can take the abuse, like the couch, or her bean bag chair, or the dog bed, or a stuffed animal, or the wall or something like that. This is a lot of fun! But again, once she hits me or someone else, or throws at me, away the toy goes.

HTH,


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## Mama Mko (Jul 26, 2007)

I always said "gentle" and took my son's hand to show him to pet my arm instead of smacking it. I would just keep doing it over and over again. Redirection is what worked for us (and still does for a lot of things).

He is a 2.5 year old and while he occasionally throws things when he is overtired or needs attention or something, it is very, very rare.


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## ruhbehka (Nov 5, 2006)

We have another toy with the same balls as the throw-around. It does hurt when you get one thrown at you!

I ultimately put that toy up in the closet to give to Goodwill, because at their age (DS is also 18 mos) they really have a hard time understanding that these balls _aren't_ for throwing, like other balls are.

For a while, we'd trade him a softer ball to throw, but eventually I just realized that it was just a badly designed toy!


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## Momma2SoSweet (Feb 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eastmillcreekmama* 
Ahh, mine is 18 mo too, DD, and she has just discovered throwing as well. She revels in it, and LOVES it. BUt, sometimes it's an inappropriate item to throw, or she throws at us or the dog or cats. So I do one of the following:

1) We have worked on, and she understands, the concept of "gentle" and "giving skin" (like petting). If I want her to be gentler, I ask her to remember to be gentle, or give skin.

2) If that doesn't work, I give a choice. You can either be gentle with your toy, or if not, I will take it and put it away. What would you choose? She will usually choose to keep playing with it and be gentle. But the second she isn't gentle, away it goes. I always follow through with my consequence. That way, she knows I am serious!

3) Alternatively, I ask her to throw/hit on something inanimate, that can take the abuse, like the couch, or her bean bag chair, or the dog bed, or a stuffed animal, or the wall or something like that. This is a lot of fun! But again, once she hits me or someone else, or throws at me, away the toy goes.

HTH,

This is pretty much what I do as well.

My dd is 17 months and throws things quite often. I remind her (and show her how) to be gentle. If she is throwing something hard I trade it for something soft. If she continues to throw the hard toys then they go away for the remainder of the day.

My dd also has a habit of throwing things when angry but that's a whole 'nother issue.


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## lobster (Mar 6, 2006)

My son is 17 months and loves throwing and hitting too. When he throws anything (food, toys, etc), I take him by the hand and we pick it up. I usually say, "We don't throw things in the house" while he's picking it up. Once it's been picked up, it goes away for a little while (or in the case of food, goes in the garbage and he doesn't get more until at least 15 mins later).

When he hits, I will say, "OW! Hitting hurts Mama!", then take his hand and show him gentle touches. Now he will usually switch from hitting to gentle touches on his own as soon as I say "OW!", and he's been hitting a lot less.


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## Mama Poot (Jun 12, 2006)

Give him something he CAN throw. My 2 year old still loves to throw things, but it started around 18 months. I took him outside and let him throw rocks and pieces of gravel from the driveway, and it seemed to help. Some kids just have a "need to throw" I guess. Sometimes we'll even take out the plastic blocks (they hurt less than the wooden ones!) and have both boys totally trash their playroom and let them throw whatever they want. They have a blast, and they won't throw stuff for a while after we let them do it.


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