# Surrogacy sites for AP/NFL families?



## Undercover Hippie (Sep 7, 2004)

I've been looking for answers to this for a while and am not sure where to look or even where to ask. I have wanted to be a surrogate for many years and am looking into it very seriously now, but I'd want to work with a couple with similar AP/NFL values to our own. For instance, I'd want to homebirth assuming there were no complications, and pump breastmilk as long as possible, and hope that the child was being raised in a non-violent way, etc. I think these issues are too important to ignore, and I feel certain there must be couples out there who are looking for the same values... There must be a place for us AP/NFL people to connect! Can anyone point me in the right direction or PM me? Thank you!

PS--Would I be able to find more information if I posted in the infertility forum? I was hesitant to do so in case it was inappropriate, so maybe the mods will know where this best belongs...


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## babysx9 (Jun 5, 2005)

I am intrested in knowing as well.


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## Yin Yang (Jul 9, 2003)

I know "CrunchyClark" is carrying baby for a couple. Perhaps you could ask her directly. She is due any day.


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## Undercover Hippie (Sep 7, 2004)

Thank you Yin Yang. I will give her some time to birth and recover and send her a PM.


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## Spark (Nov 21, 2001)

Giraffelovingmama gave birth to a baby for another couple. She's a few months postpartum now. She might have some info for you.









Best wishes.


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## Satori (Jan 30, 2003)

I have no idea but you might want to ask at these sites









http://www.surromomsonline.com

http://www.allaboutsurrogacy.com

http://everythingsurrogacy.com

http://surrogatemoms.org

I wish I could afford to use a surro


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## Undercover Hippie (Sep 7, 2004)

Spark, thank you for Giraffelovingmama's name, I had asked her previously if I could PM her about it, but then for the life of me I couldn't remember her name or find the thread!

Satori, thank you for the sites. I have been to some before but appreciate the links to the others. I'm sorry you are struggling to have a baby and hope your journey reaches a happy ending soon.


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## TrishWSU (Oct 19, 2003)

Hi! I justed wanted to add myself to this thread so I can find it later. I too have thought long and hard about being a surrogate. And I exactly mirror what the OP says as far the 'conditions' I would set in regards to the birth and raising of the child. I realize that with surrogacy it's not MY child, but I'd still feel responsible as I'd be the one bringing that child into this world.

Satori~Sorry, I'm kind of naive, but what costs are associated with surro?


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## Satori (Jan 30, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TrishWSU*
Satori~Sorry, I'm kind of naive, but what costs are associated with surro?

It well lets see, the surro gets get $15,000 to $30,000 +plus expenses for her services then you still have the agencies fee's and the lawyers and the medical bills. Your looking at $30,000 - $50,000 easy to pay to use a surro.

Not something a middle class family can afford without breaking the bank.


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## TrishWSU (Oct 19, 2003)

OK, I know this is getting a little OT, but holy cow that's a lot! I was thinking about this on my way home from work last night and I realized, Duh! it's gonna cost something to actually acheive the pregnancy and I figured in the cost of prenantal/delivery care. But I never realized that the surrogate mom was paid that much. I figured she'd get some kind of compensation but, wow, $30,000. Is it unheard of or somehow 'bad' for a woman to offer to be a surrogate for much, much less? I guess I really need to research this. Up till now I've always just thought, "Yeah, I'd like to do that" but that's as far as I've gotten.


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## Undercover Hippie (Sep 7, 2004)

From the reading I've done, there is a broad range of surrogate fees depending on area, surrogate's experience, intended parent's resources, etc.... but it seems that $12,000-18,000 is more common than the fees of $30,000-50,000 which I have seen mentioned for experienced, highly sought-after surrogates. And there are also surrogates who do it for very low fees or just for the cost of their expenses. There are so many factors involved that it is mind-boggling... one more reason that my heart goes out to those who are struggling with infertility. It takes amazing people to navigate and survive all this. Even more reason to want to help!


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## Satori (Jan 30, 2003)

I didn't mean the surro got $50,000. I meant total costs involved. You have the cost of IVF which sometimes needs mutiple cycles and I believe thats at least $5,000 per try at the cheapest and I don't think that includes meds, the insurance policy for prenatel care, the agencies costs, lawyer fee's, adoption fee's and the surro herself often has a lot of fee's as well.

Below is just the fee's from 3 different surro's themselves.

$20,000 Base Compensation
$450 maternity clothing allowance @ 12 weeks
$2500 twins etc
$500 for invasive procedures (CVS, D&C, AMNIO)
$2,500 if needing a C-Section
$5,000 loss of reproductive organ resulting from the surro preg/birth
$850 miscarriage, SR/termination of pregnancy
$300 week for DR. ordered bed rest for childcare/housekeeping
all travel/legal/sitter
----------------------------------

As for my compinsation-
$20,000--$5000 to start and $1500 per month
$2,500 for twins
$500 maternity clothes ($750 Twins)
$1,500 c section
$500 advasive procedures
$200 monthly allowance
100% for attorney fees
100% for any childcare, food service, house keeping etc if Dr. ordered bed rest

-------------------------------------

Surrogate compensation $18,000
Maternity clothing $500 ($750 for twins)
Transfer fee $500 for 2
Monthly allowance $200
Twins fee $2,000-3,000
C-Section fee $2,000
Lost Wages 100% if necessary
Amnio/D&C/MC $500 if necessary
Surrogate attor. fees 100%
Life insurance $250-300
Other: Travel/
Housekeeping/ 100% if necessary
Childcare/Food Service

As you can see, this is pretty hefty and could easily double when you add in the other expenses involved. Its way to far out of reach from every day people







You'd have to save for years and years and not be trying other options to scrimp every penny to afford a surro







I'm not saying its wrong, just out of reach for most people.


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## lilsishomemade (Feb 12, 2005)

I've always thought of being a surrogate (I am very much the fertile myrtle), but was a little surprised after visiting those sites that surrogacy is prohibited in some states. I guess there are many factors to think of, and it can be a complex situation.

What is the difference between a traditional surrogate and a gestational surrogate?


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## lilsishomemade (Feb 12, 2005)

why would they need more $ for maternity clothes if they are having twins? I'm not being snarky, just naive. I've really been thinking about this (since a friend of mine mentioned she can't have children).


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## Satori (Jan 30, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lilsishomemade*
why would they need more $ for maternity clothes if they are having twins? I'm not being snarky, just naive. I've really been thinking about this (since a friend of mine mentioned she can't have children).

You usually end up having to buy another set of clothes because you outgrow the first set and need a bigger size.


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## bohemama (Jan 29, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lilsishomemade*

What is the difference between a traditional surrogate and a gestational surrogate?

A traditional surrogate is one who uses her own egg. A gestational carrier or surrogate is one uses the biological mother's egg or an egg donors egg. In essence a traditional surrogate is a surrogate and an egg donor.

As for the OP, the sites listed above are pretty much the only surrogacy sites I know of. But, if you place an ad or answer an ad you should let the prospective IPs (intended parents) know what you are looking for birth wise and parenting wise.

My last set of IPs were totally cool with a homebirth, but we ended up with a c-section because of complications with one of the twins cords.

Good luck to you!


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## stonesleap (May 13, 2006)

Probabley a shot in the dark that you are still interested in being a surrogate for another "closet hippy"?
I have 3 precious babes 12, 10, and 6. Boy, girl, girl ....the first was born in the hospital with the steriotypical cookie cutter...drugged birth.....the second...still in the hospital...but with a wonderful doula and sans drugs...my last was born at home with a CNM and what an amazing experience it was...
I nursed all three for a year or more.....the middle one for 2 plus years.
Here is my delima.....unfortunately their father and I divorced after 15 years of marriage. I am 40 and have met a wonderful man (45) who has never had any biological children. We plan to marry after being together for 2 years. I wanted so badly to have a baby with this man, but 2 weeks ago I finally gave up the fight against endometreosis and had a total hysterectomy.
I don't even know how to go about something like this or how it would work....but to have and opportunity to have a child literally birthed into our home would be wonderful.
talk to me or maybe you know others....IVF could be an option. We aren't interested in a surrogate as biological mother as well.


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## Undercover Hippie (Sep 7, 2004)

PM'ed you.


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## <<<Scarlet>>> (May 19, 2005)

I know this is an older thread but I posted on Allaboutsurrogacy.com and found many responces to my no ciring, homebirthing ad...
There are others out there!!!!


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## Undercover Hippie (Sep 7, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommaToThree*
I know this is an older thread but I posted on Allaboutsurrogacy.com and found many responces to my no ciring, homebirthing ad...
There are others out there!!!!









That's awesome!


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## tresleo (Mar 15, 2004)

Just going to add myself to this list...another surrogate wanting to find IP's who are interested in homebirth, nursing/pumping/inducing lactation, non circing, ap, etc.


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## Rockies5 (May 17, 2005)

This is just so cool to see here!!









Posting to keep the thread alive...maybe we should have an "interested in surrogacy tribe"?


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## kristenburgess (Sep 15, 2002)

this thread is so interesting. I could imagine being a gestational surrogate for a family, but would want to homebirth that babe just as I have mine...it would be wonderful to give a family that gift.

what is involved in preparing for the pregnancy, as far as hormones and injections, etc.?


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## Rockies5 (May 17, 2005)

It's fairly invasive. There's testing to start, what this entails depends on the clinics. Do a simple google and you'll pull up enough to scare you off the idea









probably, anyway.

I can imagine doing it, but it would HAVE to be for love of the family. From what I have read....you couldn't PAY me enough to do IVF for just anyone.

The problem I have seen is that couples who want to go to this length are typically tired and very very used to the medical way of doing everything. It often becomes a business relationship (despite what is agreed on early on) and the parents just want their baby...and no contact afterward.

I don't think I've heard of many hippies willing to go to such lengths and get nothing out of it. All we want is to see a happy family, but the family feels threatened because they have lost so much...and don't want contact.

At least these are the sceanarios I read. Maybe the happy surros don't get online because they have nothing to complain about


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## TrishWSU (Oct 19, 2003)

Hi! I am just starting out on my surro journey (TS not GS, though.) If you are really interested in being a surro, I suggest you check out some of the links that Satori posted. I have learned a lot from the All About Surrogacy website and forum. Talking to people who have BTDT and are going through will probably help answer your questions. I love MDC and have gotten a ton of great info from here, but with something as complex as surrogacy, it's better to go to a place that is dedicated to that subject.

Oh, and the IPs (intended partent-get ready for a TON of accronyms!) I am talking to want a homebirth, and to have contact after the birth. They see my role in their life as sort of a sister relationship to them and Aunt to the kiddo. They wouldn't be comfortable if it was handled as a business deal, and neither would I. And the IM (intended mom) wants to induce lactation!!

Good luck! There are many wonderful couples out there looking for a surrogate angle to help them have a child.

~Trish


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## TrishWSU (Oct 19, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Rockies5*
This is just so cool to see here!!









Posting to keep the thread alive...maybe we should have an "interested in surrogacy tribe"?









I've been thinking about this with the continuation of my UC surro thread that is now totally OT but I couldn't figure out a good place to start a new thread. Maybe I'll head over there and see if I can get something going.

ETA: Ok, I did it! Here's the link: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=462604 Hope to hear from all of you over there!
~Trish


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