# Out of the sadness...gained a craft



## SweetTeach (Oct 5, 2003)

So, on a positive note:

After losing my son in Dec. I picked up knitting again on Christmas day so I could have something to do with my empty hands. Lo and behold, I have become an obsessive knitter. Since starting my first project on New Year's Day, I've completed 3 scarves, 2 adult hats, 1 baby hat, 1 baby scarf and a kerchief. I have another scarf on a set of needles and I'm starting a birthday gift for someone tomorrow.

Has anyone else picked up a new [or old] craft or hobby as a way to deal with your grief?

How has it brought you comfort?


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## Ms. Mom (Nov 18, 2001)

What a great way keep your hands and mind busy. I used to write a lot and always missed it. A few days after Amanda's funeral I was in the shower and thoughts just started hitting me. I began writing again and havn't stoped yet.

I think having something meaningful to do is helpful in dealing with the deep emotions of our loss.


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## Ellie'sMom (Aug 10, 2002)

I had just learned to knit when I found out I was pregnant in early Dec. With the fatigue of early pregnancy and the craziness of the holidays I let it go. I have an unfinished baby hat and and an unfinished scarf. I have been thinking alot about wanting to pick them up again. Wanting to create something. I am starting to get some of my energy back, but trying to get caught up on lots of things that didn't get done during the last couple of weeks of waiting for/dealing with the m/c.

Maybe I will soon.


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## gonnabeamom (Sep 15, 2003)

I am finishing the baby sweater I started during my all to brief pregnancy.

It feels like a promise to the baby and a gift to myself. I especially think alot about pulling out my mistakes and redoing and going on.

I was at a meditation once, where we were taken back in time and asked to remember "knitting yourself a body" so I think of my little one having dropped a stitch and waiting to come back to me.

I'm going to keep knitting when I finish the sweater, and if I have a pile of baby things before I have a baby, I'm going to join this group I heard about that donates theirr hand-knitting to new mothers.


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## gonnabeamom (Sep 15, 2003)

I wish I could remember where I read this, there was a recent article about a woman who lost her 5 daughter to a sudden illness, and couldn't write anymore and learned to knit and feels like it has saved her sanity.


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## traci5489 (Oct 27, 2002)

Wow..I was so surprised to see this post, I thought I was a little loopy. After my second mc I have started cross-stitching again, I am finishing a project that I started before dd was born (she is 3 now







: ). It really does seem to bring me comfort







: especially at night when I can't sleep and would just be thinking otherwise.


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## SweetTeach (Oct 5, 2003)

It's nice that some of us have been able to have a craft as a form of release or whatever it is. I feel like it's something to look forward to and I'm hoping that knitting will help me stay calm in my next pg. I finished a baby hat for a friend's daughter, but it was too small and my mom told me I have to keep it for my next child. I put it in my son's dresser with the other things and it's nice to think that I can create beautiful things with my hands for my future children to wear.
Now if only I could get as excited about working out








traci- why did you think you were loopy?







:


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## traci5489 (Oct 27, 2002)

I just thought it was so odd that I almost felt a "need" to get my stitching out again. My gosh, it has been over 3 yrs and I had not even thought much about it...it just surprised me that I needed to do it again and that it brought me so much comfort.

I have even been thinking about trying to learn to knit, but not sure as I am not all that patient


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## gonnabeamom (Sep 15, 2003)

Traci,

I am may be in the minority, but I found learning to knit really quite easy, and once you know how you can pick something that is really straightforward and do it more or less without thinking or move onto more challenging patterns.

I have mind you noooo patience for anything involving needle and thread.


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## sunbaby (Sep 30, 2002)

i got back on a horse a few days ago and it was heavenly. riding has always been a super healing thing for me. and it will help pass the time my midwife wants me to wait before ttc again. i appreciate it even more because it is something i wont be willing to do once i am pregnant again.


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## taradt (Jun 10, 2003)

i started scrapbooking again. i had/have a whole bunch of unfinished books that i never found the time to do, but it has helped me to get back into doing them. i recently started a family history book for my mom (basically all the pictures of my family growing up) and that will be her mother's day gift.

tara


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## SweetTeach (Oct 5, 2003)

Traci, I don't know much about cross stitching but it sounds as relaxing as knitting. Do you have any websites you could direct me to so I can see some samples?

gonnabeamom- we should talk more about knitting! I'm so addicted to it right now.







I'm currently working on 2 projects from the book Stitch and Bitch- Zeeby's bag and the keyhole scarf. What about you?

sunbaby, horseback riding sounds wonderful (even though I'm highly allergic). In fact, I wish I wasn't allergic to all furry animals because I'd have a cat or a puppy in my lap right now.

taradt- I just ordered a book about scrapbooking (along with 4 knitting books!). I don't know anything about it, but I decided to make a scrapbook about my son's life (I have a lot of pictures and writing from my pregnancy). Can I ask you questions when I get started on it?
Your family history book sounds like it will be such a special gift for you mom!


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## taradt (Jun 10, 2003)

you sure may ask me questions sweet teach, i am sure you will have a great time doing it, and it will be a nice way to remember your angel.
i am trying to think of a good way to include our angel in what will be our family history that i am slowly working on...

tara


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## momto l&a (Jul 31, 2002)

I am surpised to see how many women have picked up some type of a hobby upon losing a baby.

My dh bought everything I needed to make a quilt $400 + worth of materials and the such. Unfortunalty i had to pack all of the squares up because I have no room in our present living condtions for a sewing machine.

Cant wait till we get into a larger place so I can finish our lovely quilt









Dh would jealous of all you gals choosing hobbies that are cheeper than what I chose








:


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## gonnabeamom (Sep 15, 2003)

Sweetteach,

I am knitting a baby sweater my sister got me started on. It is all garter stitch, and you add on stitches for the sleevees than decrease to knit the front. Despite it being the ultimate beginner project I am indulging my compulsive side and pulling out every mistake. I've probably knit the same two inches three or four times.

I figure since I am knitting for my own comfort I, don't see much difference between knitting forward or backward.

If I ever finish this sweater, I am considering joining this group that knits baby blankets for families of preemies.


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## Zannalyn (Jan 5, 2004)

I didn't pick up a craft after losing my son (at 23 weeks) in Dec. '02.... maybe it would've helped.

What I wanted to mention to all you knitters is that when my son was born, at the hospital they gave him a tiny knitted hat and a lovely crocheted blanket that some kind person(s) had donated to the hospital for babies born too soon. He wore them until we let him go and came home, and we have kept them. In those first many difficult weeks, I kept the blanket with me like Linus in the Peanuts cartoon. It still hangs over the headboard of our bed, where I can touch it and remember the one night I got to hold my baby.

I'm now pregnant again (25 weeks and all's well!). I still treasure these gifts from strangers, given to my tiny son.

Jezanna


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## KatherineinCA (Apr 4, 2002)

I started dancing again. I started rehearsals for a show in August, which was nine months after my baby, Kevin, was stillborn. At first it was so tough to try to act "normal", and even the mental concentration required to learn steps and songs was overwhelming. But after a few weeks I started to enjoy dancing and singing, and it was wonderful to discover that I could feel happy again. I was so glad that I particpated in that show. I even choreographed and taught two numbers, and that was such a big step for me. I think my confidence was so shaken after Kevin died that I was scared that I couldn't hold myself together mentally, physically or emotionally anymore. It was a real turning point in my healing.

Sending love and support to all the moms here who have lost babies,

Katherine


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## gonnabeamom (Sep 15, 2003)

Katherine,

That's exactly what I've been feeling-that I'm afraid to do a lot of things because I think I can't hold it together.

I think knitting is slightly addictive for me, I must have knit for hours today. I'm having trouble doing a "make 1" without getting a whole so I finally had to stop, otherwise I don't know when I would have.


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## SweetTeach (Oct 5, 2003)

gonnabeamom,
Would you mind sharing the pattern with me? I want to do a sweater and I need a simple pattern to start with. I did a bag this weekend for a friend. I'll post a picture of it if I can. I'm definitely addicted to knitting. It is so nice to focus on creating something beautiful when I'm in the midst of such a sad time. I thought that make 1 is supposed to have a hole, btw. It's decorative. Did you know there was a crafts board here at mothering? I found it last week and there are some serious knitters on there!

Jezanna, that is beautiful that you have that knitted hat and crocheted blanket. Congrats on your new pregnancy and good luck!

Katherine,
Thanks for the love and support


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## Ellie'sMom (Aug 10, 2002)

Gonnabeamom: I would be interested in the pattern too!

Thanks


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## gonnabeamom (Sep 15, 2003)

I've actually got it second hand from my sister in a fuzzy scan, but if you PM I'll send it.

There are two ways to do make 1-one gives a hole, one doesn't. I think this pattern isn't supposed to have holes. I finally figured it out after ripping ti out 3 or 4 times

It's a fun pattern, because you add on and decrease to make the sleeves and such so you have a little sweater on your needles, and not just peices that don't look like anything until put together.


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## lestouffer (Jul 2, 2002)

Maybe that's why I did it. I started knitting again after my first loss, but became obsessed when I quit my job when my 2nd daughter was born. Havne't put it down since, another loss and another kid.....the stuff makes great baby shower gifts.......
for those of you who are beginners, there are a plethora of bootie patterns out there (try about.com) which look so cute and don't tak emuch time (I know how it is to finish a sweater)...


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## SweetTeach (Oct 5, 2003)

Hmmm, I told myself I wasn't going to start any baby projects for my next baby until I was pg, but I'm feeling drawn to get started on something anyways. I'll check out the baby booties and check your PM's gonnabeamom.
I got this gorgeous book called "Knitting for Baby" and I think that's what got me. I adore this cardigan in it. I wish I had a pic.

lestouffer- do you go to baby showers? I can't imagine going to one right now.


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## SweetTeach (Oct 5, 2003)

I thought I'd bump this thread up for anyone who might be thinking about doing something to "take their minds off" of their sadness a bit this weekend.

I recently been doing lots of washcloths- high satisfaction.

Any other crafty mamas in grief?


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## gonnabeamom (Sep 15, 2003)

Hey Sweetteach,

I just posted in another thread that I'm finally gonna finish that cardigan. I got stuck for a while because I couldn't get my buttonholes to work out. Now I just have to find a next project.

As I get further away from the actual loss, the grief gets harder to deal with because I'm not so sure what to do with myself. Knitting is especially helpful, somehow the motion soothes my brain and my soul.

Knitting baby stuff for me is kind of a promise to my babe that I'm not giving up.


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## HaveWool~Will Felt (Apr 26, 2004)

OK...so I am talented in many ways, but knitting is not one of them...I'd end up in one BIG knot. Seriously!







:
I would love to learn how...I DO quilt. So I do have some patience! Hehehe!
Something that has helped me since Gracie died is I have made memory quilts for my two other children. I used their clothing to make each of their individual quilts. They love them. They call them their "special blankets". Very sweet!
I have thought about doing it for Gracie, but I just can't bring myself to doing anything to her clothes...especially since most of them are NEW!!!

SweetTeach...so I will ship you the yarn and YOU can make what I dream of making!!!







: (I am secretly SERIOUS)

Love to you all!!!


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## SweetTeach (Oct 5, 2003)

Arrgh! I just deleted my post!
Here's the short version:
Gonnabe- I think it's wonderful that knitting is helping you to cope with your loss. I want to knit more than I have been recently but hopefully as the summer gets started I'll have some more time. Do you know about this: personalized tags/labels I got some to put on dh's father's day present that say "Made especially for Nazir's Daddy, with love"

Jackie, quilting is on my list of things to do when I get tired of knitting. I think it's fascinating and I'm especially drawn to the geometrical patterns involved in quilting. Maybe you can think of another way to use Gracie's clothes in a quilt- I wouldn't want to cut them up! Maybe you could take pictures of the outfits and make copies of them onto fabric and they could be squares on the quilt. Just a thought.
We should talk about the yarn, lady! I'd have to smuggle it into my apt- my dh think I have MORE than enough yarn in here already, lol.


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## gonnabeamom (Sep 15, 2003)

It's just hysterical to me when people say they can't knit, but they can . . .

When usually I can't do whatever they put in the blank. Like quilting, I am totally hopeless with a needle and thread. I can't really sew on a button without help. I'm infinitely impressed with the planning, and work, and patient that go into quilting, but knitting, naw that's a cinch.


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## HaveWool~Will Felt (Apr 26, 2004)

gonnabeamom & SweetTeach,
I laughed reading both your posts....isn't funny how we think that we "can't" do something. HOWEVER...I am serious about the knitting thing...I truly think that one would have to call in damage control!







:
Sorry if I offend anyone with my laughter...I just find it a funny sight seeing myself knitting...who knows I may be very good at it some day....

SweetTeach...I like the idea of scanning Gracie's clothes onto transfer paper or something to use for quilting. I do have a great book on making memory quilts and there is a section on using photos instead of clothing...I could just switch the photos for the clothing and her birth certificate or something like that.
Hmmmm.....food for thought.

Speaking of food...the last 3 days all I have done, it seems, is COOK! I love to cook and take great pleasure in it. Maybe that is my "knitting" for right now. I think my oven & stove have been on most of the day today. I did ask myself if I am stuffing feelings behind all this great food....Hmmm more to think about!


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