# I feel SO bad!! It was so traumatic! (long)



## Enudely (Jul 2, 2005)

Last night, it was 10:15 and dd (2.5) still did not have her jammies on. I tried being playful several different ways, I tried reasoning, begging, you name it, I tried it. I was at my wits end and overly exhausted (I am pregnant with a heart valve problem.. VERY tired), so I threatened her. I said, "If you can't get your jammies on, daddy and I will have to force them on and make you cry." Well, my dh wanted to just let it go (which I really wish I had done) but I was feeling like it wouldn't be good to just let her go to bed without jammies, have her wake up cold and have ME be dealing with it at 1 a.m. Also, aren't we supposed to be in charge and set limits? I guess I'm just trying to defend what I did, but boy do I feel bad.

So in comes dh and we forced her shirt on. It was TERRIBLE.








She was screaming "You guys!!" and she gave me this look that I will never forget, just like "you are turning on me, I thought you loved me!"







:
She screamed so hard her nose started to bleed (well, she thought maybe her nose hit daddies arm...) When the shirt was on, I hugged her and told her I was sorry but she wasn't cooperating and she started saying "I don't feel good! I just don't know what happened!" OMG, our hearts were breaking but when she said "I just don't know what happened to my heart" I have never felt so bad! Granted, there's been a lot of "heart talk" around here lately, with my valve problem, but I was seriously feeling like we broke her little heart. She kept saying "I don't feel good, mommy! I just don't know what happened"








OMG Why did I do it? I feel SO terrible







:
She seems fine today, we talked about it, and how it was hard for everyone. I told her I need her to help me by getting dressed when it's bedtime and she said she would next time. I told her I never wanted to do that again and she said "o.k mommy I love you."








We have snuggled a lot today and have not lost our connection, but I still feel so guilty.
Do you think I scarred her for life? What would you have done in this situation? thanks for listening!


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

No, you most definitely did NOT scar her for life. At the absolute worst, you might have shaken her trust in you- which can be rebuilt over the coming hours, days, and weeks. Kids get scarred when they get "shaken" like this and then the problem continues instead of there being healing and reconecting afterwards.

How would I have handled it? First off I probably would have let my child go to bed in just a diaper, because my kids never seemed to get cold at night, but I've dealt with similar situations with getting dressed for the day. I have calmly and respectfully given the child a choice between "you can do it or I can do it."

I'd never have threatened to be too rough "and make you cry" but I have said "if you don't cooperate it's harder to be gentle." There have been times when I've had to use brute force to dress a child and the child has cried- but it was presented as "if you stop kicking me I can help you get dressed more gently" rather than something punitive.


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## Sailor (Jun 13, 2006)

I'm sure you didn't scar her for life. She probably won't remember this at all once she's older.

I don't have kids, but I was in Europe until age 5. And, in Europe, when you go to the nurse or doctor, they're NOT catering to the child. I had many, quite physical altercations with the nurses, who forced shots on me. Apparently, this happened every time I would go, but I only remember the last (when I was 5). And I only remember that one because the nurse gave up and I "won".

It has not scarred me, even though my parents helped hold me down. They showed me WAY more love, than those once a year doctor episodes and as a result the most potent memories are the love.

I still trust my parents, and I have no fear of doctors.

I know you feel really terrible, but in the grand scheme of your daughter's life, this is not something that will imprint on her forever. I'm sure you show her more love, affection, and understanding than this one episode. So, as hard as it is ... just let it go, forgive yourself, learn from it, and move on.


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## Enudely (Jul 2, 2005)

I see what you're saying about "I'll make you cry" but I didn't really mean it like I would be aggressive on purpose, I just knew it would make her cry. It probably would have been better to tell her "If you cooperate, I can be gentle" or something like that, but she was so hysterical as soon as we started forcing her.
Anyway we're having such a good day together, and we have so much love for each other, I am feeling a lot better.
Thanks so much for listening!


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## PikkuMyy (Mar 26, 2004)

Honestly, it would have been much easier to just let her sleep in her clothing or underwear. As long as you have a warm blanket, there's no reason for PJs...

I realize you can get caught up in the situation, but next time you are in a similar one, try to remember to pick your battles and let something like that go.


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## transylvania_mom (Oct 8, 2006)

Just a word of caution, don't make your dh the bad guy. It's not fair to your dh or your daughter. If you decide you want to make her do something, take responsibility for it.
jmo


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## syd'smom (Sep 23, 2008)

hugs mama - those nights are hard. I've let dd sleep nakey and we've gone out for the day in jammies. It has been hard for me to be so relaxed (soooo not my personality







) but there are times when I don't want to wear a certain piece of clothing (I often don't like the feel of synthetics) so I get that feeling/ And maybe she is just asserting her independence a bit, so I figure I need to pick my battles and clothes aren't one of them. We went to a baptism last week. She let us dress her in her pretty pink dress and white tights - and then insisted on wearing her red rubber boots! In the end, a way better memory and pictures, than if we'd had a fight about it!


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## Ellen Griswold (Feb 27, 2008)

I feel for you. I have chosen to not "fight the battle" and then, yeah, kiddo is awake and cold at 1am, even in my bed, and it's my problem. It's okay to be frustrated. It's okay to not want to turn in all into a game. When I feel that super-aggrevated feeling coming on, I change my own scenery for a few minutes. Five minutes will not make or break a bedtime routine, but it can do wonders for your sanity. And sometimes 5 minutes for a 2.5 year old is years. Maybe in this particular case you could try a bath? Clothes come off, and pjs go on after. No worries, you didn't scar her for life.


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## hipumpkins (Jul 25, 2003)

It depends on the kids, I guess. My Dd would definetly be scarred by something like that..maybe not for life but she would not be Ok too quickly either.
she is very sensitive though so YMMV...

Also you might not want to accompany an , "I'm sorry.." with a "but"

If you are sorry you need to not put it on her to get dressed next time so it wont happen.
It may happen again..then it is your job to show that you were sorry and you will not relive that episode.

Come up with game plan together so the next time you are prepared.
good luck!!


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## jjawm (Jun 17, 2007)

((((hugs)))))

She won't be scarred for life. All parents make mistakes. You've talked with her about it, you're loving her lots.

Dd has slept in her clothes many a night. She slept one night in her halloween costume (until we took it off as she slept). And yes, occasionally we've been to Kroger in her jammies. I've tried to be more laid back about things that don't seem to matter much. I'm happily losing some of my control-freak tendencies. Not to say that's you, but it has been me.


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## BellinghamCrunchie (Sep 7, 2005)

I have gotten really frustrated around bedtime, too, when I'm exhausted and want to go to sleep and DD is still running around like a maniac and being uncooperative.

If you can, just go to bed and let DH solo parent until she's ready to go to sleep, as well. That worked pretty well for us. He would put a video in, cuddle up on the couch with her, and pretty soon she would be drowsy enough for him to slip her pajamas on. Then he would put her into bed with me so she could nurse to sleep.

My DD is also fine sleeping naked. She tends to run hot anyways. I just pull an extra blanket up if she doesn't have her pajamas on.


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## Roar (May 30, 2006)

I would just take this as a sign it is time to get a new routine so you aren't in the position of trying to negotiate with a terrorist (oops, I mean a two year old) at 10 at night. If this is a regular struggle it is time to put the pj part of the routine earlier before everyone is way too tired to function.

Mistakes are an opportunity to learn - what can you learn from this?


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## heartmama (Nov 27, 2001)

Awww, I'm so sorry that happened.

It sounds like you didn't realize she would get THAT distraught until you were 'in it' and at that point everyone was so emotional there was no obvious solution.

She will not be scarred for life from one instance of mommy snapping and insisting she put on her shirt. It WAS very upsetting, but enough good moments over the next days and weeks will make up for it. You will remember this long after she has forgotten it.

The one thing that stood out to me was your fear that if she didn't put on pajamas, she would wake up in the night and get you up so she could get dressed. You are pregnant and tired and that isn't a good thought.

Just start thinking about what to do tomorrow to avoid it getting to that point. Help her start out earlier. Let her get on pajamas before dinner if necessary. If she refuses, try to keep the room warm enough that she won't get chilled at night.


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## Enudely (Jul 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Roar* 
I would just take this as a sign it is time to get a new routine so you aren't in the position of trying to negotiate with a terrorist (oops, I mean a two year old) at 10 at night. If this is a regular struggle it is time to put the pj part of the routine earlier before everyone is way too tired to function.

Mistakes are an opportunity to learn - what can you learn from this?

Thanks.
We are doing better with the routine. On this particular day, dh had let her nap at 5:00







: otherwise, she's down by 8


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## KatWrangler (Mar 21, 2005)

I have a similar situation with my daughter when it comes to getting in her carseat. I do a counting race with her. If she isn't in her carseat by the time I count to 10, she is told I will put her in her seat and buckle her up.
It works for the most part. If not I have to calmly put her in the seat. Which doesn't make either of us happy.







But it doesn't last but a few seconds and she is fine.


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## FullMetalMom (Aug 27, 2008)

Wow. Your poor dd. Was putting clothes on her really so important that you needed to hold her down and make her so distraught? Maybe your dh should step up and give you more help so your dd doesn't have to be treated like that again.


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## Enudely (Jul 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *FullMetalMom* 
Wow. Your poor dd. Was putting clothes on her really so important that you needed to hold her down and make her so distraught? Maybe your dh should step up and give you more help so your dd doesn't have to be treated like that again.

Thanks for making me feel worse than I already did







:

Everyone has parenting lows. I am not perfect. I came onto this forum for support, not to be shot down for something I am admitting as terribly wrong and trying to make amends for


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## Mel38 (Jun 5, 2004)

Hi there,

I just saw the title of your post and wanted to stop by and offer some support.

Please don't worry about what happened. It sounds heart-wrenching for everyone, but sometimes things don't go the way we want them to, and as parents, we all learn from those kinds of things. I don't have any words of wisdom on how to set limits for her, because it sounds like you know best what will (and what won't!) work for your dd.

In my final months of pregnancy, I always felt a lot of stress about the upcoming birth and changes in our family - and also felt way more anxious about controlling things in the house (routines, kids, dogs, husband, everything!). I think it is how I did my own mental *nesting*, if you will.

Anyhoo, forgive my rambling, but I did want to just say that she will be fine with time. Unlike your dd, you will never forget what happened, but try to be gentle with yourself in remembering what happened between you all at that time, because you were only acting with the best interests of your family in mind.


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## FullMetalMom (Aug 27, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Enudely* 
Thanks for making me feel worse than I already did







:

Everyone has parenting lows. I am not perfect. I came onto this forum for support, not to be shot down for something I am admitting as terribly wrong and trying to make amends for

I'm sorry I didn't give you a more supportive response, but it really kind of irritates me that people are telling you not to worry about it. Her nose started bleeding, the responses she gave you indicate she was really traumatized. I'm not saying she's gonna end up all messed up as an adult, I just think that maybe this is an indication you need help dealing with the stress, especially since you are pregnant. Don't post on a public forum if you don't want an honest response from someone.


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## mamaChe (Feb 14, 2008)

Oh mama! I would have done the same thing if I was in your shoes. Pajamas are a big deal here because out heat goes down to 55 at night and both babes kick off their covers. And I certainly am NOT going to get up to get them dressed at 3 AM when I could do it at bedtime. And when conflicts like that happen, well, it's really difficult in the moment to figure out the perfect way out. And really, there might not be. She might have screamed and cried no matter what happened. I mean, maybe if you let her not wear pj's she would have had the fit over brushing her teeth, or just getting into bed. Sometimes the fits happen over things that aren't really the problem, kwim?

I find that saying I'm sorry afterward helps, it's ok to know that mommy makes mistakes.

And the next time a situation like this arises, I'd be using DP-- in the "you deal with her I'm going to bed" approach. (Especially if he gave her the late nap in the first place!!)

And I think you're DD is lucky to have someone who so obviously cares about her well being, she will be proud to have you as a mama!


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## Murihiku (Oct 2, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Enudely* 
Thanks for making me feel worse than I already did







:

Everyone has parenting lows. I am not perfect. I came onto this forum for support, not to be shot down for something I am admitting as terribly wrong and trying to make amends for

Do try to focus on the many supportive posts, not the one critical one. I know that's well nigh impossible to do. I taught a class of 100 once and do you think I remember any of the 90 or so positive evaluations? No, I just remember one very negative one. And the internet can be wounding--I still remember _word for word_ a flame from 1995: "What a condescending, patronizing attitude toward our working classes." That's from _1995_! Now perhaps you are not as ridiculously sensitive as I am, but my feeling is that adults are much less able to bounce back from certain experiences than children are.

I really don't think your daughter is scarred for life. You'll remember it for much longer than she did, _and_ you'll remember the critical post. Try not to let _yourself_ be the one who is scarred for life!


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## indeospero (May 23, 2005)

Oh mama, I totally understand. In fact, a startling similar scenario played out in our house once, and it was during my pregnancy! Things like this happen in most families: we do things we wish we hadn't. You and your dd were both traumatized by the way things went, and that's important to acknowledge, but it doesn't have to be the end of the story. I believe that episodes like this can be a great opportunity to realign ourselves with what feels right to us, to reconsider our priorities, and to rethink ways of dealing with difficult moments. You've had lots of great suggestions about how you could handle a similar situation differently next time, and I know that, for me at least, thinking things through this way after the fact can be tremendously helpful.

I also think that when we've acted in a way that we regret, we give ourselves and those we've affected a wonderful opportunity to experience true apology. I love what Scott Noelle has to say about "positive apology." We can say to our children, "When I forced you into your pajamas last night, I didn't feel good about it. I felt sad because I wasn't respectful or gentle, and I want to always be respectful and gentle with you. Next time, I will try to find a better way."

I absolutely do not believe that making a mistake and then offering an authentic, loving apology scars a child in any way. If anything, it is great modeling. Most of us (FullMetalMom may be an exception







) are not perfect, but the the mistakes we make give us the chance to model authentic, loving, positive apology. It's a great teaching moment. Sure, it would be great if we and our children never had to experience the trauma of our mistakes, but when we do, we can show them something very important about life and love: how to apologize.

I try to offer my dd an apology whenever I act in a way that feels "wrong" to me, even if it's a relatively minor thing. And I know it really means something to her, because sometimes she'll call me out if she doesn't like how I've spoken to her or treated her. She'll say, "Mama, that was not gentle. Don't you want to say sorry? Next time, you need to think of a better way."









We don't always live up to our ideals, and our children won't always live up to their ideals in life, either (no one does all the time). But showing them how to make amends when that happens, and how to reconnect with their own inner guidance, is a great gift.

Take heart, mama.


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## DariusMom (May 29, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *FullMetalMom* 
I'm sorry I didn't give you a more supportive response, but it really kind of irritates me that people are telling you not to worry about it. Her nose started bleeding, the responses she gave you indicate she was really traumatized. I'm not saying she's gonna end up all messed up as an adult, I just think that maybe this is an indication you need help dealing with the stress, especially since you are pregnant. Don't post on a public forum if you don't want an honest response from someone.

What would you find to be a worthy response from those of us frequenting this forum?

The OP dealt with a problem in a way that she realizes was wrong and ineffective. She feels badly about it, and wants to move on in her GD journey.

Should we all castigate her further than she is already castigating herself? Pile on a bunch of posts saying, "You actually are not an optimal mama."? "Yes, your kid is traumatized because you, a tired, worn out, very pregnant woman made a choice to try to keep your daughter warm and get you the rest you so desperately needed and it went wrong. Keep on suffering because I, personally, would *never* make such a mistake."?









I don't think anyone here was applauding what happened. The OP certainly wasn't! I think what puts so many people off GD is attitudes like this one. A sort of holier-than-thou, if you raise your voice or aren't optimal you're out of the club forever and your kid is scarred for life attitude.

If you really think that the OP needs help with her stress, and she could, then say that in a loving and gentle way. You are, I'm presuming, gentle with your kids since you're on this forum. Why don't you practice some of that on a fellow mama who already feels bad?!


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## scrappingmom (Sep 3, 2005)

mamaChe said:


> And the next time a situation like this arises, I'd be using DP-- in the "you deal with her I'm going to bed" approach. (Especially if he gave her the late nap in the first place!!)
> QUOTE]
> 
> I second that ... I know personally when i get in a stress situation like that its often not the person i'm daling with who caused the stress.. the other night i had a similar situation trying to get DD into pjs, we have a wood stove and it gets cold alot of nights if DH doesnt wake up to fill it so pjs are mandatory... earlier in teh day DH had come in the house shouting to me instead of asking where i was or looking and woke up 1yr old DD after 15min napping and she was miserable... I was getting frustrated about 2 1/2 yr old DD not getting dressed, realized it was him i was frustrated with because baby had been screaming for hours(I'm also preg) I handed both DDs pjs to him, the 1yr old and said... i'm done, i'm going to bed, you woke up 1yr old, you deal with them.... and went to bed! sometimes you must defer, especially if the prob is DP (especially when a man
> ...


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## 1littlebit (Jun 1, 2008)

. we all make mistakes!! dont beat yourself up, of course you didnt scar her for life! probably not even for a day or two







. remember no one is perfect and we all make mistakes. If mom or dad losing their patience and forcing their child into pajamas to keep them warm at night scarred kids for life we would all be a bag of chips short of a picnic lunch... and most people wouldn't be short the chips. next time just take a break for a few minutes.. let dp deal with it ... or just choose your words more carefully.









ftr - The OP made a mistake. She acknowledges that she made a mistake and feels awful about it. she has apologized to her DD and she is working on ways to prevent it from happening again. Berating her further serves no purpose other then to make her feel worse. I wouldn't bother posting if i didn't have something constructive to add.


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## Think of Winter (Jun 10, 2004)

Be gentle with yourself, mama. It was late, you were both tired, and you did what you thought was best. It is shocking for our kids to be physically forced to do something when they're used to gentle touch and autonomy as much as possible, but you did not hurt her. Last summer I posted something similar. My ds had a big sliver poking right out of his foot and I held him down to take it out while he screamed at me to stop. He cried himself into a nap (which he hasn't had in years) he was so upset. But a couple of days later, he was not at all bothered by it. I totally regretted it, but I learned a lesson. And today is a new day.


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## Dr.Worm (Nov 20, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *FullMetalMom* 
Wow. Your poor dd. Was putting clothes on her really so important that you needed to hold her down and make her so distraught? Maybe your dh should step up and give you more help so your dd doesn't have to be treated like that again.

I really don't think this is something her dd is even going to remember..wow...op, it is ok..really...she is not "scarred for life" she was just upset that she didn't get her way. I agree with choosing your battles and just let her sleep in her clothes if she fights you next time, but please stop torturing yourself over this.


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## kay4 (Nov 30, 2004)

No one's perfect, she'll be fine. Today is a new day. That's what I tell myself when I screw up!! ((hugs))


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## PassionateWriter (Feb 27, 2008)

i dont think we always have to say what a parent does is OK just b/c they post here. i certainly wouldnt say that for a lot of things.

its tough being pregnant and having a toddler being defiant. but it is worth it to acknowledge that *we* lose control sometimes and need to get back on track. I dont think holding a child down to put a shirt on is going to scar him/her for life but i also think its really important to apologize and move on, and commit ourselves to doing better in the future. I dont think holding children down to put clothes on is appropriate. Obviously there are issues that need to be addressed if things get to that point often.

said by someone that is having a very difficult time w/ her toddler since the baby and who has had to take many more than one deep breath over the last 3 weeks.


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## DariusMom (May 29, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PassionateWriter* 
i dont think we always have to say what a parent does is OK just b/c they post here. i certainly wouldnt say that for a lot of things.


Sure. But no one is saying that, least of all the OP!

Had a mama come on this board and said, "Hey, I did this. what do you all think?" Or, "Hey, this is my technique. Why do you all have problems with it?" then I think it would be fine to critique it and offer a lot of GD alternatives and even some sharper criticism if the OP didn't think what she was doing was "wrong."

*However* that is not the case. The OP came on, talked about how badly she felt about a situation that went wrong, expressed her regret and dismay, detailed how she'd talked to her DD about it and apologized. What more should we, as forum participants, do?

Seriously . . . I think some people offered some very practical and gentle ways to deal with the situation should it arise again. Great! Helpful and loving and understanding. Should we still castigate this obviously loving, compassionate, tired, and pregnant mama further?

What I keep coming back to is that we, on this forum, as trying to learn different ways to discipline our children -- gentle, compassionate ways that foster attachment. Why can't we do that same thing for other members of this forum?? That's not the same as saying "do whatever. it's all good." It's gently helping someone along and supporting a fellow mama on her GD journey!


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## Enudely (Jul 2, 2005)

Thanks guys. I have so much else going on in my life right now, with trying to fight to be able to give birth naturally in the hospital with a valve problem, dealing with and old fashioned induction friendly doctor and being insanely exhausted that I just decided to let that on go. I really appreciate the support though, you said what I would have, if I had had energy for it!


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## ewe+lamb (Jul 20, 2004)

I don't think she'll be scarred for life - I think she may speak about it for sometime - my dd went through something traumatic for her and she needed to talk about it alot, as long as she's reassured that it won't happen again, I think you'll all be fine. It's tough being pregnant and having a toddler let alone having a valve problem to top it all off, give yourself a break - it'll all work out fine, and maybe the next time evaluate the situation as to whether or not this needs to be fought or not, not easy when we're in the middle but try and take a step back or just leave the room for a change of scenery for a couple of minutes to gather your thoughts. You've reassured her lots by giving her lots of cuddle and snuggle time and that's important too, I think a positive apology - suggested by a pp is wonderful, not buts or blame but just an apology, the actual act is finished and overwith. I too, find that negotiable/non-negotiable things are great the kids really get that - even from a very young age. But most of all, relax, breath, do anything to give yourself a break, toddler and mom yoga is really wonderful and relaxing for both, I've found it to be a real stress relief for us all, maybe something you may want to look into. Good luck and I'm pleased that you are finding some resolve and answers to what was an exceptionally difficult situation for you all. Good luck for the rest of your pregnancy and a wonderful birth of your baby.







:


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## kate3 (May 4, 2007)

Quote:

Originally Posted by FullMetalMom
Wow. Your poor dd. Was putting clothes on her really so important that you needed to hold her down and make her so distraught? Maybe your dh should step up and give you more help so your dd doesn't have to be treated like that again.
Wow. I guess the "gentle" part doesn't apply to everyone. That was harsh. To the OP: I hope you've have some time to rest and regroup. Parenting a toddler while pregnant is hard. BTDT.


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## captain crunchy (Mar 29, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PikkuMyy* 
Honestly, it would have been much easier to just let her sleep in her clothing or underwear. As long as you have a warm blanket, there's no reason for PJs...

I realize you can get caught up in the situation, but next time you are in a similar one, try to remember to pick your battles and let something like that go.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *syd'smom* 
hugs mama - those nights are hard. I've let dd sleep nakey and we've gone out for the day in jammies. It has been hard for me to be so relaxed (soooo not my personality







) but there are times when I don't want to wear a certain piece of clothing (I often don't like the feel of synthetics) so I get that feeling/ And maybe she is just asserting her independence a bit, so I figure I need to pick my battles and clothes aren't one of them. We went to a baptism last week. She let us dress her in her pretty pink dress and white tights - and then insisted on wearing her red rubber boots! In the end, a way better memory and pictures, than if we'd had a fight about it!










Quote:


Originally Posted by *hipumpkins* 
It depends on the kids, I guess. My Dd would definetly be scarred by something like that..maybe not for life but she would not be Ok too quickly either.
she is very sensitive though so YMMV...

Also you might not want to accompany an , "I'm sorry.." with a "but"

If you are sorry you need to not put it on her to get dressed next time so it wont happen.
It may happen again..then it is your job to show that you were sorry and you will not relive that episode.

Come up with game plan together so the next time you are prepared.
good luck!!


I agree with these posts.

OP, when you know better you do better. It truly isn't worth the battle. I hope everyone is feeling better today.


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## madskye (Feb 20, 2006)

Op--I'm sorry--it is awful when you lose control of the situation, and I find with a 3 year old I am behaving worse and worse even with trying so hard to be the mom I want to be!

We just had an awful bedtime here, too. I was mean and I yelled. And as soon as she fell asleep I felt terrible.

I have a really hard time with stress, and the last two months have been very rough--I'm not going through the same things you are, but I understand how a good mom can have a bad night.

Hang in there.


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## momslittleangel (Nov 5, 2006)

if you don't already, could you also give her some choices on what to wear to bed? Some kids hate jammies. One of mine refused to refused to wear them and would kick the blankets off at night. She eventually got use to having blankets over her. We try to fucus on why we sleep with jammies on and if there are other ways to stay warm or things that bother the kids about jammies. I think you handled the aftermath ok. What more can you do than admit you screwed up. Forgiveness is a valuable lesson to.


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