# It's gone



## Snowdrift (Oct 15, 2005)

Guess I belong here now. I've been pretty sure for a couple of days, and even more sure for the past 24 hours, but just got the first hcg numbers back from this morning and sure enough it's too low. The midwife suggests doing a second draw, but denial will only stretch so far.

My second miscarriage, but this one I was much further along--9w5d I would have been today. Right now the best and worst part is my DD. It is so much better than my first miscarriage, when I had only empty arms. With Ellie my life is so full already, I am not empty like I was before. But she also makes it much harder, because I have no space to think and be alone about this at all.


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## supermuma (Dec 12, 2005)

I am so sorry that you are going through this. Please let me know if you need _anything_ at all..Olivia and I would be glad to hang out with Ellie if you need a little bit to be alone...or if anything else would help...


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

-Angela


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## jenmary (Jul 7, 2006)

I'm sorry, momma.


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## Snowdrift (Oct 15, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *supermuma* 







I am so sorry that you are going through this. Please let me know if you need _anything_ at all..Olivia and I would be glad to hang out with Ellie if you need a little bit to be alone...or if anything else would help...

Posting on the local forum...


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## FiberLover (Feb 6, 2007)

Hugs.

I'm so sorry.


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## AntoninBeGonin (Jun 24, 2005)

I'm very sorry


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## momz3 (May 1, 2006)

I'm so very sorry


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## mamatowill (Aug 23, 2004)

I am very sorry.


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## karpat2006 (Jan 13, 2007)

I'm so very sorry.


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## mommycakes (Sep 21, 2005)

Oh momma, I'm so sorry. It just happened to me too. I have a 3yo as well (so thankful she didn't know) and finding space was challenging. We went away over the weekend and I spent some time alone walking in nature. It was very healing.

I've been so surprised by the grief (maybe b/c I m/c'ed at 5 weeks--like, what, it would hurt less?)--my dear friend suggested naming the baby as a way of honoring the future we dreamed about. She also suggested writing a letter to her. I didn't get around to writing it out, but definately thought it out on my walks. Strangely, I thought I had a fitting name but when I was ending my walk and the letter in my mind, I though "goodbye, Emily". I think she told me. It was all very sad and good. I gave myself some closure. I'm sharing with you in hopes that something like this may help you in your time of grief as well.

Hugs to you. Be gentle with yourself and do try to make some time to be alone.


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## EENS (Jul 8, 2005)

I'm so sorry.


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## gretasmommy (Aug 11, 2002)

I am so, so sorry you have to go throught this . . . .again. It is both easier and more difficult with a child already in your life. Try and find the time you need to think . . . balanced with living life with your family.

Thinking of you.


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## Aeress (Jan 25, 2005)

*hugs*


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## mamabearsoblessed (Jan 8, 2003)

Many







Mama.


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## mariag (Feb 21, 2004)

My thoughts are with you. I am in the midst of a m/c and have a 4 and 2 year old. I agree it is both a wonderful strength to have them, and very hard at the same time. Its almost as if they have been more in need of me the last 24 hours when I am most in need of them being independent....My deepest sympathies for your loss, and I hope that you can find some time to be alone with your thoughts and make peace with all that is happening.

maria


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## Whittliz (Oct 5, 2006)

So sorry for your loss


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## Snowdrift (Oct 15, 2005)

I don't think the m/c completed totally--I'm going in to see an ob tomorrow--I may have an infection and/or retained fragments.


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## savannah smiles (May 4, 2004)

I had a m/c with my second pg and it was both harder and easier due to having a child already. It was harder in that I knew what I'd be missing out on and I felt the loss not only for me but for dd1 as well. It was easier in that, like you said, I had a child to fill my arms while I grieved.


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## Aurora (May 1, 2002)




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## mamatowill (Aug 23, 2004)




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## cfiddlinmama (May 9, 2006)

I am so sorry for your loss.







I hope you're doing ok. How did it go at the ob's? I'll be praying for you.


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## Jasmyn's Mum (May 24, 2004)

Sorry, Mama


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## Snowdrift (Oct 15, 2005)

Thanks everyone for your kindness. My update is posted on my blog: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...0&userid=41323


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## finn'smama (Jan 11, 2006)

I'm so sorry mama...


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