# trouble rinsing toddler's hair



## Sasha (Feb 1, 2003)

This is my first question. My son is 17 months old and rinsing his hair is becoming a traumatic experience. He hates water to run in his eyes. He loves the bath, but if I pour water on his head (I tilt is head, cover his eyes, and only pour it near the back) he starts crying if even one drop rolls into his eyes. Not a little crying, but "I'm really scared and hurt" type of crying - and he's not a particularly sensitive child in any other way. I've tried leaning him back in the water or just leaning the top of his head under the faucet - this actually works best, but more than half of the time he wiggles and gets water in his face- which also scares and traumatizes him.

We are huge water people and live in a very hot climate - I hate for him to have any water anxieties and don't want to produce any in him - but I have to at least rinse his hair every once in a while. He gets food in it every day. My neice would willingly go under the water at 9 months, so this is strange for me. My son actually loves the water and will even put is face in it to blow bubbles - he just hates it in his eyes. I'm hoping it's just a toddler obsession and it will go away.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

Oh, and while I'm asking questions, what does the "d" mean before ds, dd, dh, etc? I'm dying to know - guessing "darling"?

Sasha, mother of Lucas (01/11/2002)


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## mama2m&m (Nov 19, 2001)

The "d" usually means darling though I'm sure it's meant other not so pleasant things as well, LOL!

My son also loves the water but hates to have it in his eyes. He's older now but we got him goggles to wear in the bathtub to avoid the water battle. Hopefully someone else will have another idea.


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## mammastar (Nov 5, 2002)

My stepdaughter went through this, although she was a bit older than your son. Usually I would wash her hair instead of her dad, since he's of the dump-a-bowl-of-water-on-their-head-to-get-it-over-with-fast school of thought, and it wasn't working.

What ended up working best for me was to always give her the same cues to help her keep water out of her eyes. Her older sister had held a washcloth over her eyes, but this one wasn't having any. Instead, I would say 'tip your head back to your back!' in a sing-song voice to remind her to tip her head back (which she forgot easily), and we would make a game of making a 'waterslide' down her back for the shampoo. Seemed to work well!

Regal also makes really dorky looking contraptions that kids can wear to keep the shampoo out, but we never tried that.


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## Jennifer Z (Sep 15, 2002)

what worked for our ds is to make a goofy noise. we made an airplane type noise and "flew" the glass of water around (gave him a warning it was coming) flying it high so he looked up, and began by just getting the back of the head until we could do that without him screaming. Until he was comfortable, we used a washcloth to wipe the top of his head. It didn't work fabulous, but each time we got closer to the front of his head. By making it a game he would eventually get really excited as he saw the water coming. Now, he gives us the water glass and tries to dump water on his own head to tell us he wants to play the "game".


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## Aster (Aug 12, 2002)

I give Boo a dry washcloth to hold over his eyes. That ususally does the trick.


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## Sasha (Feb 1, 2003)

Thanks everybody, for your suggestions. I think I will try the swim goggles and the airplane tips. Meanwhile, a friend having the same problems emailed me these tips (there are a lot of them), for anyone else who might be interested:

Experiment with different ways to wash your child's hair. You can wet it by smoothing a wet washcloth down the back of her head if she's on an anti-water campaign. You can rinse it this way too, though it takes longer.

Some kids hate having water dumped on their heads but will lie down in the water to rinse if you hold them well and make it fun. My friend Trevi's daughter loves hearing the sound of her voice underwater, so she puts up with lying down to rinse her hair.
Some toddlers like the shower. You can also try using a shower attachment on a gentle setting to rinse. My two year-old daughter Victoria hates all of it, but she is willing to look up at the ceiling so I can pour water over her hair without it running into her face. I tell her what a brave, brave girl she is and then gush a lot when we're done about how proud I am. That keeps her going without screaming or fighting me.
Some babies like the visors that slip over their heads to keep water out of their faces. You can find them at most discount stores like Walmart.
Another idea is to give them a dry hand towel or washcloth to hold over their faces as you pour water. If their eyes stay dry they're usually fine. Which brings us to the strangest suggestion: goggles! It's worth a try!.

I tried using a visor and also attaching a hose/sprayer to the tub faucet but my daughter just continued to cry and beg to get out. What worked for us was to lay a towel down on our kitchen counter (I roll up one end to support her neck) and wash and rinse her hair at the sink. She lays on her back with her neck resting on the side edge of the sink. My faucet head pulls out so I am able to control where the water is going. Throughout the entire process I talk to her in a soothing voice, smile A LOT and also distract her by asking her things like "Where is the light? Where is your nose?", etc. She was quite nervous at first but we've been at it for several months now with no tears. Hope this helps!

My son also is terrified of having his hair washed. We went down to washing his hair only every couple of weeks, but last week did something that seemed to work much better for him: one of us was in the tub with him holding a little towel ready to wipe his face if any water splashed on him while the other washed the hair, and he meanwhile did some big time feet kicking in the water. It felt like a miracle, but he spontaneously said he enjoyed himself. I think the key was the towel at the ready.

have found that both variety and persistence help with toddler hairwashing. My 3 y.o. still insists, almost every time she enters the bath, that she doesn't want her hair washed, but ends up getting so wet that I do it anyway because I might as well! I have taught her to hold a wrung-out, folded lengthwise washcloth to her forehead and look up at me/the light /a real or imaginary bug on the wall etc., so that as I pour cupfuls of water on her hair, the water drains away from her face and ears. It took a long time for her to keep holding it (and hold it in the right place!), but now she's got it. I also give her choices about how to get her hair wet and rinsed -- the washcloth full of water, the shower nozzle, cups, toys, etc. A current favorite is a toy watering can and she becomes the little "flower"!

Two tricks. The first is to use the least amount of shampoo, because then you can get it all over with sooner.

The second is to put a picture or something funny on the ceiling above the tub. Then your child can look at it as you rinse. This gets him or her used to the routine of tipping back away from the waves of soap.

If there's one thing that toddlers hate it's having their hair washed, whether it's due to the feel of the bubbles on their head or their fear of having soap and water end up in their eyes. Unfortunately, those all-too-frequent spaghetti-sauce scalp massages make hair washing de rigueur. Here are some tips on making the process a whole lot less stressful for you and your toddler:

- Provide your toddler with a snorkelling mask, a set of swim goggles, or a shampoo visor. All three products will help to keep the soap out of his eyes.

- Sit him in the bathtub and wet his hair using a washcloth or (if he'll let you!) a squirt bottle or child-sized watering can.

- Wash his hair with shampoo, making sure to keep the bubbles away from his eyes.

- Rinse his hair thoroughly by either leaning him back in the tub with your hand under his neck while you rinse the shampoo out of his hair or rinsing his hair while he sits in the tub (tilt his head back slightly and hold a face cloth over his eyes while you pour water down the back of his head). Note: You can encourage your child to bend his head back for rinsing if you hang some eye-catching pictures on the ceiling above the tub-perhaps a special "bathtime collage" that the two of you made together for this purpose.

- Keep your child amused by singing to him while you wash his hair. (If you're into old musicals like South Pacific, you might want to ham it up with a powerful rendition of, "I'm Gonna Wash That Man Right Out of My Hair!" adapting the lyrics slightly to make them more suited to a toddler audience-something along the lines of "I'm Gonna Wash That Lunch Right Out of My Hair!")

Reassure your child that he can use a washcloth when you shampoo his hair to make sure his eyes are covered and safe from irritating soap. Let your child choose how much water to put into a big cup before you rinse off the shampoo. If your child holds a mirror up as you carefully pour a little shampoo on the hair, this may give more reassurance and a sense of control since the whole process can be seen. Some children are really worried because they cannot see what is happening on the top of their heads!

Other stories/tips: http://parents.berkeley.edu/advice/toddler/bathing.html


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## dentente (Aug 14, 2002)

Dd hates it too. The dry washcloth over the eyes has been known to work. Laying her back and dipping her head in is how my dh does it. In the shower we hand her the spray attachment. She will wash her ownhair that way which pretty much amazed me the first time she did it. No crying!

It's tough getting them clean sometimes, eh?

Denny


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