# Inactive toddler



## crunchy_mommy (Mar 29, 2009)

Lately it seems that 21mo DS is very inactive.

When we are around other kids he is 'normal' & plays the same as they do. But when we are home he wants to just sit & read. He's only interested in the playground if other small kids are there, otherwise he just wants to go back to the car. He likes being pushed on his bike when we go for walks (he's short & can't reach the pedals) but if he walks on his own, he mostly just asks to be picked up. Same with going on hikes, he might explore for a bit but mostly he just wants to be carried. He now GREATLY prefers story hours and arts & crafts to more active outings (though our options are more limited these days due to weather etc.)

I don't know if it's just that he wants to be in my arms or if he just doesn't have energy. I mean, he does have spurts of energy, he might jump on the bed for a couple minutes or climb chairs or run around the house for a minute or two, but he just doesn't seem ACTIVE like I picture a toddler being. Maybe my expectations are off??? I think I'm most worried because I'm not the best role model -- although I love being active I have a chronic illness that limits me a lot these days & I'm worried that seeing me just sit around makes him less active...

Guess I should just ask, how active is your toddler, & what does that look like??? How do you encourage more physical activity? He loves if I give him tasks like "turn around, OK now touch your toes, now JUMP!" but he gets bored of it after a couple minutes. In fact he almost always seems bored unless we're around other kids.


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## ellemenope (Jul 11, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *crunchy_mommy* 
I think I'm most worried because I'm not the best role model -- although I love being active I have a chronic illness that limits me a lot these days & I'm worried that seeing me just sit around makes him less active...









I am so sorry. How unfair. I will say, from your previous posts you sound like you are quite active. It sounds like you get out as much as me and do a lot of fun things around the house. I am pretty healthy and I don't even come close to pushing myself to the brink everyday. I don't think that is necessary. So, yeah, DD sees me sitting around a lot.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *crunchy_mommy* 
Guess I should just ask, how active is your toddler, & what does that look like??? How do you encourage more physical activity? He loves if I give him tasks like "turn around, OK now touch your toes, now JUMP!" but he gets bored of it after a couple minutes. In fact he almost always seems bored unless we're around other kids.

DD is super active. She loves to dance. About an hour of her day is spent skipping around in a circle dancing to music. She also loves jumping on the bed and jumping from the coffee table to the couch (allowed in out house. Our coffe table is solid wood and huge.) And, then sometimes she will just run back and forth for no reason.

At the playground she is much more reserved. I think you will remember some of my posts about that...

I will say she has gotten much mre active in the past 6 months. At 18 months all she wanted to do was sit and read. Or, she would slowly walk around and play her toys.

And, she still prefers to be picked up. I don't make a big deal about this, but we do strive to get her walking when we are out. It is just something that needs to be learned I think. We practice (and have been since 11 months) holding hands, walking next to eachother, staying together, etc.

I also take her to this "park" that has a large open gravel sidewalk. Umm, it is huge. It is like a mile or two long. It is famous, but I want to be mysterious,







. The sidewalk itself is like 20 feet wide. Well, I take her there and I just run her. Either she chases me or I chase her. I like her to get pushed hard out there. I want her to build up her endurance.

Running was important to me when I was younger. I remember at 5 years old I was running 2 miles straight without stopping for fun everyday (it was my mom's walking route. Sometimes I would run it twice for fun.) I went on to be quite the athlete and I know that endurance I built up didn't hurt. I remember I got first place in our elementary school's (grades 1-6) open cross country meet as a 3rd grader without ever running cross country before. And, I was confused about what I was supposed to do. I just ran next to the "rabbit" and beat all the 6th graders.

We play the gingerbread man game when we chase eachother. I am sure you know the saying. She loves it.


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## crunchy_mommy (Mar 29, 2009)

Thanks. I do try to get him out as much as possible & make being home fun, I think I'm really worried about the winter because we'll end up spending more time home or at the library vs. the playground or hikes. The cold is physically painful for me but I'm going to try to get him outside as much as possible all winter but I'm sure it will still be a lot less than we're used to!

See DS would never dance for an hour. He just dances for a minute or two. Then he's done. It could be an attention issue too though, aside from books & crafts he has the attention span of a fly. So maybe he's just too young for sustained activity. I do try to get him running outside, like running in the leaves, but he just cries that he wants to go back to the car.







I send him outside with DH many evenings but now it's dark out too early.

I used to run cross country & play tennis in highschool, and by college I was working out daily, but in elementary/middle school I was very inactive, mostly read, did art projects, etc. Activity wasn't encouraged in my family, my mom was always overweight & that made her very sedentary & she hates being active.

ETA: I'm trying to think of what you're mysterious famous park might be!! lol!


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## oaktreemama (Oct 12, 2010)

My ds is 29 mos and never ever stops. Talking OR walking. But I am also extremely hyper and don't sit down very often. So, I am not sure how much of it is who he is, and how much of it is my influence for lack of a better word.

We play outdoors when he gets home from daycare. Sometimes we take the dog for a walk (I do my real walking on my lunch hour) to the end of the block and back-pretty far for his little legs.

On weekends we hike every Saturday and Sunday in the park. I wear him in a Kelti but he still gets down and walks a fair amount.

I also wanted to add we go the grocery store together and I let him push the cart (I am doing a lot of help here). We go off hours so we aren't in people's way and he gets a huge kick out of helping me shop. It really seems to wear him down.

I am sorry for your chronic condition.


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## jchatneuff (Mar 5, 2008)

My 2 1/2 year old definitely has energy spurts. Mostly he plays calmly, likes to read, color, dig in the sandbox, etc., but he will have bursts of energy where he wants to jump, climb, run, etc. His energy level depends by hour (how exciting our activity is, for example) or by day (some days he is just tired from not sleeping well). Also he is more prone to a silly burst of energy when it's close to nap or bed time. Such bursts of energy usually last 30-45 minutes. He is usually reserved at the playground, and it is not unusual at daycare for him to watch the other kids rather than playing himself (not sure if he is being reserved or just interested in seeing what everyone else doing).

I'm not the best at encouraging physical activity... He usually prefers to be carried to walking, and I almost always pick him up when he asks. He does love running down the sidewalk on walks or running on the empty tennis court at the playground, but obviously the weather has to cooperate for outdoor activities. Inside, sometimes he pretends my legs stretched from the couch to the coffee table is a train bridge, and he crawls under them repeatedly... Any physical game is more fun for him (and lasts longer) if the dog participates somehow...


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## physmom (Jun 15, 2009)

The only thing that comes to mind is I know you've mentioned before that his eating habits are poor (or at least that he doesn't eat much). Is he getting enough foods to substain his energy? DD moods (and sleep) are so food dependent that I thought that could be affecting him too.

As for DD's energy levels, they are through the roof so I wouldn't compare the two.


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## crunchy_mommy (Mar 29, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *physmom* 
The only thing that comes to mind is I know you've mentioned before that his eating habits are poor (or at least that he doesn't eat much). Is he getting enough foods to substain his energy? DD moods (and sleep) are so food dependent that I thought that could be affecting him too.

THAT is exactly what I'm worried about. His ferritin was low at his one-year appointment (but he was not even a trace anemic, and had just had a growth spurt, so it wasn't a major concern in my mind, and we supplemented with Floradix for a few months just to be safe. I am not willing to get put him through another traumatic blood draw to verify if his levels are higher now, so I'm trying to evaluate based on how he seems. He is eating better these days but still not what I would expect -- I'm thrilled if I can get him to eat 4 bites for breakfast... but he is definitely nursing plenty. Then I wonder if maybe his poor sleep habits are leaving him tired, but I can't seem to get him to sleep better no matter what I do.

jchatneuff, his activity level sounds pretty much exactly like your DS's.... oaktreemama, he does do well with very short walks, and he LOVES pushing the carriage when we're shopping. I try to give him as many opportunities to walk as possible -- so we don't use a stroller or carrier most of the time, because it's easier to just carry him when he asks and put him down when my arms get tired, rather than just keep him strapped to me.

I don't know, I'm torn between thinking he's just shy & reserved and thinking maybe he's not eating/sleeping well enough. I feel like he's not getting enough opportunities to develop his motor skills, yet I checked a few charts & he is on track or ahead for everything so maybe this is all misplaced worry.


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## physmom (Jun 15, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *crunchy_mommy* 
THAT is exactly what I'm worried about. His ferritin was low at his one-year appointment (but he was not even a trace anemic, and had just had a growth spurt, so it wasn't a major concern in my mind, and we supplemented with Floradix for a few months just to be safe. I am not willing to get put him through another traumatic blood draw to verify if his levels are higher now, so I'm trying to evaluate based on how he seems. He is eating better these days but still not what I would expect -- I'm thrilled if I can get him to eat 4 bites for breakfast... but he is definitely nursing plenty. Then I wonder if maybe his poor sleep habits are leaving him tired, but I can't seem to get him to sleep better no matter what I do.

I totally get that. I would try and go the non-invasive route. Could you write down exactly what he is eating (wouldn't hurt to track sleep for a week or two either) and talk either to your pediatrician or a developmental pediatrician? Or an OT (depending on what your insurance covers).

I'm not sure if I mentioned this before but some early intervention services (I know for sure this is the case in my state at least because we checked when we were thinking of going this route) count sleep/eating delays as enough for services. In some ways I regret not having DD evaluated for those two reasons but we're moving now so it's a mute point.

With EI the evaluation is free and maybe they could at least point you down the right track even if they won't offer services. If nothing is wrong you have that peace of mind and if he does need something more you'll know in what way to go.


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## jchatneuff (Mar 5, 2008)

I second checking with your pediatrician if you're worried. They might have a better gauge of what is a normal range of activity level for your child's age. I know my son's daycare providers are surprised when he is particularly subdued, so I do get the impression that it is unusual.

As far my son goes, I know that lack of nutrition is not a contributing factor-- he has always had a healthy appetite, eats more than other kids his age, and is not a particularly picky eater (this, like so many other things, depends on his mood). Sleep is another issue. He is much more likely to be subdued if he is tired, and he does not have the greatest night sleep habits. He is a great napper, sleeping usually 2 or more hours daily, but we still have a lot of wake-ups at night. And when I put him down early on his extra-tired days, it helps a little, but he usually ends up just waking up earlier the next morning . . . I try to make up for this when I can by giving him some rest-time in the morning, such as a car ride for an errand or a walk in the stroller, and afterwards he will usually be perkier. Despite his general lack of hyperactivity, generally he strikes us as a happy and healthy child, so we don't worry about it and just appreciate that this is his personality. He comes by it honestly-- both me and my husband can be pretty reserved, so it shouldn't surprise us that our child is not an extrovert


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## Summersquash (Jul 23, 2009)

I'm not going to try to compare my DD with your little guy...she is extremely active. One thing that struck me when I read your post though is, how new is this? I wonder if he is going through a period of learning where he is fascinated by books, reading and writing, letters, drawing, etc. and he is focusing on those activities because they are so super fascinating to him and he wants to do them every minute? Maybe once he masters the things he is trying to figure out, he'll move on to a more active, gross motor development phase?


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## crunchy_mommy (Mar 29, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Summersquash* 
One thing that struck me when I read your post though is, how new is this? I wonder if he is going through a period of learning where he is fascinated by books, reading and writing, letters, drawing, etc. and he is focusing on those activities because they are so super fascinating to him and he wants to do them every minute? Maybe once he masters the things he is trying to figure out, he'll move on to a more active, gross motor development phase?

I do wonder this too... it's not really a new thing for him though... but he truly is fascinated by books. He gets so excited & just doesn't want to stop reading. The way he makes connections while reading is interesting... he might run off in the middle of a story to go find his little dog which he suddenly realized looks exactly like the dog in the story, or he will interrupt the story to talk about something related that he did recently or a sing song with that animal in it or something, or he'll decide that the character in one Dr. Seuss book bears a lot of resemblance to one in another book so then we have to go get the other book to compare. He is also fascinated by letters & asks to sing a few different ABC songs about 10000 times a day. He loves doing puzzles as well and between that, and arts & crafts, and reading, maybe he just doesn't have as much time for more active pursuits. He LOVES going to story hours/craft time, and cries hysterically if he thinks he's going to miss it (i.e. if he woke up late).

Honestly if he were eating normally & sleeping well, I don't think I'd even question his activity level. I guess I've been trying to mentally puzzle together what's going on with him -- since the day he was born -- and trying to figure out if this is a clue or just an extraneous observation.


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## crunchy_mommy (Mar 29, 2009)

OK So after taking in what everyone has said & observing DS more the last few days, I've come to the conclusion that he is NOT inactive. He *can* be very active... but only when he is very calm & happy & everything is right with the world. Otherwise, he wants to be in my arms.

For example, yesterday we went to the zoo. There is a highway that goes by the zoo (yeah, fun) and DS is very very terrified of noise. Every time a truck went by he jumped into my arms. Partway through our outing he wasn't even willing to TRY walking anymore, he just wanted to stay in my arms because there was too much noise. Same thing at home. He'll be happily playing for a minute or two and then the furnace will come on, or the fridge will kick in, or a truck will be driving off in the distance... and he scrambles for my arms. I'm sure there may be other things beside loud noise that triggers him to cling to me, but that's the one I notice most blatantly.

I don't know how to deal with this, because obviously I can't stop trucks from going by or live with no furnace in the middle of winter... They don't seem like loud noises to me (and *I* am very noise-sensitive myself, I have to turn the TV really high to drown out white noise in the background, and I can't follow conversations in a crowd)...but they obviously bother him quite a bit.







Even when I was pregnant with him, I tried playing music for him once and he FREAKED OUT (I felt so bad, I scared him before he was even born!!!)


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## marge234 (Nov 1, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *physmom*
> With EI the evaluation is free and maybe they could at least point you down the right track even if they won't offer services. If nothing is wrong you have that peace of mind and if he does need something more you'll know in what way to go.


 You're saying you've been worried since birth. Respect that, check it out--have him evaluated. (I'd do it no matter what the ped says--most peds know very little about subtle development/sensory issues and tend err on the side of "wait and see." But early intervention prevents small issues from becoming larger ones). It is free. It is not at all difficult for the child. . My DS has sensory issues, and is particularly sensitive to sound. Sounds other kids process as background distract and inhibit him. OT has helped tremendously. I'm pushy about evaluating because with my DS lots of people (including peds) told me I was overreacting. They were wrong. We're getting help, DS is making great progress and things look good for him long-term.


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