# Missed Miscarriage Advice



## SuzieSmiles (Jul 13, 2012)

Well, I should be 8.5 weeks pregnant but had my first ultrasound yesterday. My doc who is a naturopath and midwife said that the it was the size of 7 weeks + one day, looked good, in the right place and everything but there was no heartbeat. I had an abdominal ultrasound followed by a vaginal ultrasound to confirm the no heartbeat thing. Doc was super kind and supportive to us. DH was in the room with me and we were totally devastated, not expecting that at all.

Little history... I'm 38 and June was our first month TTC, we got our BFP on June 27th. First try, first pregnancy and looks like we're going to be going through our first miscarriage. I had what I thought were normal pregnancy symptoms (very heightened sense of smell, some nausea, enlarged sore breasts, lack of appetite and fatigue). This past week, my breasts no longer felt as large or sore which I thought might be normal and that my body was just adjusting to pregnancy, but I guess this was a sign things were wrong. Since yesterday, we've gone through every emotion multiple times. DH is really supportive and being wonderful. I am so thankful for him.

I'm scared to experience this miscarriage though. Not worried about the pain, I'm sure I can handle that, I just want everything to go naturally and don't want to have to have a d&c (also, we have no insurance, so everything is out of pocket, ugh!). Doc gave me misoprostol just in case I want it/need it. I asked if there were any herbs or natural things I could take. So, he also gave me some homeopathic medicine, Sabina which I am more willing to try. But, not sure how long I should wait to see if my body does what it's supposed to do by itself before pressing the issue?

I feel kind of rushed to try to finish this process, so I can fully deal with the miscarriage, heal and try again. I feel pressure within myself because of my age. I really want to have a family and know that the risks are greater the older I get (risks for miscarriage, downs, etc...) and am really anxious to get pregnant again and have a happy healthy baby.

Not sure how to handle the actual passing of embryo, etc... Doc said I should "inspect" the things I pass to make sure it passes OK and that I don't retain the embryo, otherwise I'll probably need a d&c. Feel weird about flushing it but also feel weird about keeping it, burying it, etc...

I'm all over the map with this post, sorry, just have so much going on within me right now and not sure what's going to happen next. Thanks for letting me post this, look forward to any support, advice, similar experiences, etc...


----------



## MamaBookworm (Jul 9, 2012)

First of all, I'm so sorry for your loss. I had one at somewhere between 8-10 weeks last year and it's just an awful thing to go through.

Mine started with brown spotting and then red bleeding. I never heard a heartbeat or anything, but I did have hcg levels drawn to confirm the pregnancy had ended. I had a few hours of labor-like, severe cramps, and felt quite nauseous, but other than that, the discomfort was more like a period. I passed a few big chunks of tissue, but nothing that looked like a baby. I spent a lot of time sitting on the toilet, because that felt most comfortable to me.

I guess you should also be prepared that it could be a couple of weeks if you haven't started bleeding yet. Some of the other ladies could probably give you good advice about natural remedies to help it along.

There was a post on here a while back that had all kinds of miscarriage stories. It's super long, but reading over some of the stories helped me to prepare. Caution, there's a lot of graphic detail in them, which I felt was helpful to me at the time, but I just wanted to warn you.

http://www.mothering.com/community/t/187976/exactly-what-to-expect-with-a-m-c-please-tell-your-stories-what-do-you-see

Again, I'm so sorry. Hugs to you. I wish nobody had to go through this.


----------



## SuzieSmiles (Jul 13, 2012)

MamaBookworm - thank you so much for the support and link to that post. It was very helpful. I am a research fanatic, so reading these really helped me. In fact, after doing tons of research yesterday, I am actually considering having another u/s just to make sure before I try to speed things along... Assuming of course I continue to not have any m/c symptoms...

I could have ovulated later than originally thought as my cycles are a little strange due to an ovarian cyst and uterine polyp. So, the measurement of 7w1d could be accurate and I've read of several women who didn't see a heartbeat with a range of weeks 6-10 with a vag u/s, were then told to d&c but insisted on another u/s a week or 2 later and were able to see the HB and carry normally to term...

Not wanting to have false hopes or anything, no denial here. I've already grieved enormously and feel more prepared for whatever happens. But, after reading so much about this not seeing a heartbeat thing being a common experience (which I never even considered before), I'd like to make absolutely sure before taking anything to induce.

Has anyone else had this kind of an experience or something similar? I read about a lot of misdiagnosed miscarriages here: http://www.misdiagnosedmiscarriage.com

very interesting...


----------



## MamaBookworm (Jul 9, 2012)

Hoping the best for you! It's definitely worth getting another u/s for peace of mind, especially if no bleeding or cramping starts, and who knows? Miracles do happen, and doctors can be wrong. I spent a fair amount of time on that misdiagnosed miscarriage site myself. At first, my bleeding was so insignificant that I was convinced that the doctors were wrong, that I had a disappearing twin pregnancy, that the bleeding was one of those normal pregnancy things. Etc, etc.

I'm not sure you can go through a miscarriage without having that glimmer of hope phase. As a mama, you have to be absolutely sure, you know?

Take your time. As long as you aren't having signs of infection, there is no rush.


----------



## broodymama (May 3, 2004)

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I found that thread very helpful when I was going through my losses. My first one in September started spontaneously, my other one in February started with a little spotting but I took misoprostol to get things going (I wanted it to happen when DH was at home to support me and watch the kids). Physically, they were similar. A bit more cramping at the beginning with the misoprostol, but nothing (for me) that was very bad. Both times I had Vicodin, but honestly I think I wanted that just for mental/emotional reasons as well as physical.

I know it's mentioned in the "exactly what to expect" thread, but don't be surprised if you think you're done and then pass the placenta a bit later. For me (diagnosed at 7w both times, blighted ovums measuring about 5w4d development), they were roughly the size of 2 fingers together. With my spontaneous one in September, most things passed on a Sunday but the placenta didn't pass until Thursday. With the misoprostol induced one, most things passed early in the morning (I inserted the meds the night before) and the placenta passed later that afternoon, so much quicker. Both times I did have a 2nd ultrasound to make absolutely sure that things weren't developing normally.


----------



## Shiloh (Apr 15, 2005)

Try expectant management, this might also put your fears to rest about a misdiagnosis.

I remember reading old wives tales about certain activities - like strenous physical work can bring on a miscarriage, maybe there's more natural avenues.

As long as there's no sign of infection, you can wait. I waited a week, then tried the misoprostol.

If I were to do this again, I think I would wait, go back for a follow up ultrasound to see if anything was progressing on its own.

Then try the misoprostol if it needed some help. I had a D&C but if I had been able to I would have wish I would have chosen a second round of misoprostol,

but I had a flight the next day.

I too thought I wanted this over ASAP. Waiting a little gave me control, let me deal with the fact in my case there was no longer any hope (the sac shrunk between ultrasounds). Expectant and/or miso. will enable you to start sooner compared to D&C's have risks that could affect fertility, and sometimes periods of time you cannot have sex.

We never fully deal with the miscarriage, I have tears streaming down my face at work as I write this.

See if you can get your partner on board for your healing before.

It is a rollercoaster. I was relieved it was "over" as I spent two weeks on the bench waiting to see which way it would go...

Before we got the final report I thought if its over I don't want to be pregnant one last minute.

But after I felt different. I took pictures of myself pregnant, I could handle the baby was gone, but I didn't want to pull the plug immediately.

I needed time and I am glad I had it.

I think the more time you give yourself to grieve and process the easier pregnancy you will have next time.

We are not TTC but if I had gotten pregnant right after I am not sure I would have handled that well emotionally.

You might want to look for pictures on the internet about what to look for, a first trimester mc looks different than a mature placenta.

I didn't retain the sac, embryo, but I did retain clots and chorionic tissue.

I thought it would be really traumatic to inspect my baby's cocoon.

In some ways it really wasn't, it showed me my baby wasn't in my mind.

I had a BO so there was no actually fetus to see.

I flushed it because my baby is in my heart, is in heaven, it was no longer present in that tissue.

And someone is always around here.

These mama's were my sanity savers.

Grief even with a supportive partner is very lonely.


----------



## SuzieSmiles (Jul 13, 2012)

Thanks so much MamaBookworm, broodymama and Shiloh. I really appreciate your comments and support. Reading other mamas stories has really helped me so very much! It's so comforting to know that I'm not the only one. My DH is so supportive, he has been absolutely amazing, but has no experience/knowledge himself about these things, so he's doing all that he can (cleaning, cooking, taking care of our critters, making sure I relax, that I eat well and gives me lots of hugs and prayers). I couldn't be with a better man, he's definitely on board for whatever comes our way. I don't know what I'd do without him.

I had my first u/s last Thursday, it's Tuesday and still no m/c symptoms, so I've scheduled a follow up u/s this Thursday just to make sure before I induce... It will be a positive thing either way as I am much more prepared now for whatever happens.

Does anyone have info on whether or not it makes sense to take pregnancy tests every once in a while after/during a m/c to check hormone levels and see when you're back to normal? I seem to recall reading some posts where they took dollar store tests in this way so they knew when they were back on track to start ttc again... I took one this morning just in case and it was positive within seconds... I'm sure that's normal as I also read they can show positive for 4-6 weeks after a m/c, is this correct? I'm considering doing these tests instead of going in for blood work, etc... because I'm out of pocket for everything, no insurance and thought it might be a good way to know when my body is back to square one...

I'll post of any changes or updates and again, thanks for all of your input and support


----------



## MamaBookworm (Jul 9, 2012)

Quote:


> Does anyone have info on whether or not it makes sense to take pregnancy tests every once in a while after/during a m/c to check hormone levels and see when you're back to normal? I seem to recall reading some posts where they took dollar store tests in this way so they knew when they were back on track to start ttc again... I took one this morning just in case and it was positive within seconds... I'm sure that's normal as I also read they can show positive for 4-6 weeks after a m/c, is this correct? I'm considering doing these tests instead of going in for blood work, etc... because I'm out of pocket for everything, no insurance and thought it might be a good way to know when my body is back to square one...


I was in the same boat as you insurance wise, and used regular pregnancy tests to check. The ones they sell now are soooo sensitive, so you may be getting positives for a while. It was hard for me to test and see them still coming up positive for a couple of weeks. Returned to negative about 3 weeks after I stopped bleeding and then I had a period. I think the biggest thing to keep on the lookout for is signs of infection or retained tissue. If you don't have that, there's really no need to seek a lot of medical management for a miscarriage.

Now, psychological...that's a different story. I must say I was crying my way through a bottle of wine for a couple of months.

I'm glad to hear DH is supportive. Our experience - as much as it sucks - really brought DH and I closer in a lot of ways.


----------



## lifeisgood2 (Jul 12, 2012)

I just wanted you to know I'm thi thinking of you. I was considering accupuncture and herbs, but ended up choosing a d and e because we are going on a cross country trip and I was 15 plus weeks, baby stopped growing at 15 weeks. I have heard combining herbs and accupuncture together can help move things along. Please let us know how the us goes. I am sending positive vibes your way!!


----------



## Shiloh (Apr 15, 2005)

I took pregnancy tests (dollar ones) after.

They all went negative after the D&C so I didn't bother going to the doctor's.

I have been through enough tests, appointments etc. 
I also didn't want to have something wonky go wrong and have my levels be hovering or have them suggest I might be pregnant again.

My time is also important.


----------



## SuzieSmiles (Jul 13, 2012)

Hi Ladies, thanks again for all your comments and support. I had my 2nd ultrasound yesterday, doc only did an abdominal u/s and although there was a little growth from previous test, he still said no heartbeat. And, that there was no point in doing another vaginal ultrasound. So, guess I received the confirmation I was looking for... I tell you that that appointment was a lot easier to deal with than the first u/s with bad news that was completely unexpected. It was good to have this week in between to process everything, research and get this great support from this forum.

I still have no m/c symptoms and doc said from the u/s that it looked like my body had not yet started the process, no signs of bleeding, etc. I am probably going to give my body another week to do things naturally before I try to induce with anything. I am definitely going to try the homeopathic Sabina first and am considering making an appointment with a great acupuncturist (my husband has used before) to also help things along in a more natural way. I am very hesitant to take the misoprostol as I prefer the natural approach to things. And am really hoping I don't have to d&c. I'm scared about the actual m/c, the accounts I've read about all of the bleeding is really freaking me out. I am not as concerned about the pain, I'm just worried about the complications: excess bleeding, retained tissue, infection, etc...

Herbs I've researched that are supposed to help to complete a m/c are Blue and Black Cohosh, take 20 drops of each tincture every hour to empty the uterus and not to exceed 5 doses. And, to control the bleeding, to use 10-20 drops of Shepherd's Purse or Witch Hazel tincture. Although, I am hesitant to do the Blue Cohosh because it can be toxic in excess and can overtax the liver and kidneys. I've also read about Cotton Root Bark but can't seem to find dosage... If anyone is experienced with herbs and can provide more info, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks again to everyone


----------



## Shell29 (Sep 2, 2011)

*Suzie,* first, I am so sorry for your loss. I don't have any experience with herbs, but just wanted to give some support. Last fall I had a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks. I ended up having to take misoprostol (cytotec), and everything moved pretty quickly, and easily after that. I too was absolutely terrified about the possibility of excess bleeding, retained tissue, infection etc, but everything went smoothly. Sending good thoughts for you, that your body will let you do this on your own, and that everything will go "well" (that word sounds awful, but I think you know how I mean it).


----------



## SuzieSmiles (Jul 13, 2012)

Thanks Shell29 for sharing and for your support. I still haven't had any m/c symptoms and am having a hard time with the waiting,







I'm so frustrated that my body is not recognizing the situation and doing what it's supposed to do. I feel like such a failure.









I have had a few good days where I am optimistic and I try to pat myself on the back, it was our first month ttc and I got pregnant so fast and I hold onto that positive feeling and have faith that I will be able to get pregnant again and have a successful pregnancy. But, there are definitely more bad days then good since that unfortunate u/s showing no HB. I'm just tired of the ups and downs and really want to move on and try again, I mean I'm 38 and really feel like if we're going to do this, we need to do this NOW!!!

I am going to take the homeopathic Sabina this afternoon when my DH gets home and hopefully it will start the process. Wish me luck...


----------



## Shiloh (Apr 15, 2005)

Suzie it is really frustrating, I remember that feeling of thinking I cannot carry a baby, but I also can't get rid of it.

My wait and see failed, my misoprostol failed and then I had a D&C failures all around.

I felt really let down by my body. In time I tried to see it as a good thing I didn't want to let go and didn't have an easy time miscarrying.

So if I ever get pregnant again, (I am not trying to concieve at this point) and the embryo is healthy I stand a good chance of "going the distance"

I can hold a pregnancy even one that's long gone! If you can get pregnant once you will get pregnant again, most of these situations have no known cause.

In many ways that doesn't help as it would be easier if there was a cause and you just don't do "that" again...problem solved.

Everything went well with the pregnancy but not the embryo. So you did your job fine!


----------



## LL7 (Jan 10, 2009)

I cannot let go of mine either. I'm at 11 weeks now, but there's been no growth for 3 weeks. I've been spotting and having cramps for a week and just wish it would be over with.


----------



## SuzieSmiles (Jul 13, 2012)

I'm so sorry you're going through this laurilj. The waiting is extremely hard. We must have really wanted these huh Did you take anything to start the process or did you start to m/c naturally? Have you ever considered acupuncture? I hope the rest of it goes smoothly and will be over for you soon.

Limboland is not a fun place to be living in. I'm such a mess. I feel like life has just stalled for me right now. I should be 11 weeks this Monday and growth supposedly stopped at 7.1 weeks. NO symptoms yet. UGH! I took my first dose of the homeopathic Sabina on Thursday afternoon, another dose yesterday afternoon and will take it again today. Will give it one last try tomorrow afternoon and then I will resort to the misoprostol on Monday if nothing happens between now and then.

Thanks Shiloh. I like your idea that we'll be able to hold another pregnancy since we held these not so successful ones so well. I remember my DH asking the doc if there was anything we could have/should have done differently or anything we should change next time around... Doc said no, we did everything we were supposed to do and that it most likely was a chromosome issue that is apparently very common in the early stages of pregnancy.

We will definitely be trying again as soon as we can. I don't think I can wait the amount of time that some recommend (3-4 months). My doc said we can go ahead after I have one normal period. Now if this m/c would just start, I am so impatient! But, at the same time, I am really appreciative that I was able to get pregnant and have had a lot of time be thankful for this short time gift and am just ready and hopeful for the next one.


----------



## MamaBookworm (Jul 9, 2012)

Just checking in and sending support and healing vibes your way SuzieSmiles and Laurilj. I can't imagine what it must be like to wait this long. SuzieSmiles, did you try acupuncture? I had some treatments 1-2 months after that seemed to do amazing things for my reproductive system. My doctor also told me that most women don't need to wait any period of time for physical reasons, they often suggest it for psychological/grief ones.

Take care of yourselves.


----------



## Shiloh (Apr 15, 2005)

Looking back if we were ttc, I am at the 2 1/2 month mark since D&C, 3 since the loss was confirmed.

I am in a good space, but if we were ttc I think 4 months would give me the space I need and for people not to go oh well you're pregnant and minimize the loss.

Have some wine, get your teeth polished, sleep in, spend quality time, etc.

Start folic acid and keep the pregnancy vitamins going.

Get the big projects done around the house - paint, nest 

I resent my body and god for the loss every day.

But I have started my relationship back with god.

I appreciate my friends and family so much more.

I have stopped abusing my body by dieting and fasting and am trying to accept its a old car, that has its rust.

And although my baby didn't make it, I was still pregnant, I was still that baby's mom too briefly.

And if we ever TTC that next one might not either, and I will have to be okay with that going in.

Life is fragile, short and precious.

Happy Monday Girls!

Although we lost our angels, they are still in our hearts and in heaven.

One day I will have my family of five children all together.

It's just not today, but today is precious for everyone else I have in it.


----------



## SuzieSmiles (Jul 13, 2012)

Thanks for checking in MamaBookworm, so sweet of you I meant to make an appt. for acupuncture last week but before I knew it, it was Saturday. I'm going to call this morning to see if I can get in this week, but he's a very sought after and respected acupuncturist, so I'm doubtful I'll get in anytime soon. But, will report if I do... I really do believe that it can help in so many ways, definitely want to give it a try! I've read about the waiting to ttc after m/c for the purpose of grieving and can definitely understand that. However, I really feel that we'll be ready to try as soon as we (well, really, I am) physically are able.

Thanks again Shiloh. It's funny, I am a total wine lover and had a really hard time not having any while ttc and while pregnant. Before, I really enjoyed my glass of wine while cooking and with a nice meal. But, since my u/s, it just doesn't sound good to me anymore, even though I know I can have some now (and have a glass here and there), I just don't enjoy it the same way (I'd rather be pregnant than enjoying the wine, maybe it's psychological). I'm sure I'll gain my love of wine back someday, but right now, it's just not cutting it, grrrr. And, I really want to remain as healthy as possible so we can try again as soon as possible. I am continuing with my pre-natal vitamins, I also take spirulina and my doc recommended additional Vitamin D and Iron supplementation as well, so have been taking them that for a couple months now. I also have my morning dose of apple cider vinegar too (multiple health benefits)!

When I got the bad news, I stopped taking the additional Vitamin E that I read would help to prevent m/c... And, I decided to gently re-introduce the herbs I'd been taking before getting pregnant, Estrotone (it has evening primrose oil, schizandra, ginger, black cohosh, vitex and rosemary) and Wild Yam, (I was taking these herbs to balance my hormones and regulate my cycles). I increased to my pre-pregnancy dosages of these herbs on Friday and really feel that they are beneficial to me right now. I am a true believer in the power of herbal medicine and am considering taking some Vitex extract soon as well (it's in the estrotone I'm taking, but a small dosage and I feel I should take more to obtain the true benefit of this herb). Any other herb lovers/believers/healers out there? Would love to have your input

I took the homeopathic Sabina one dose a day for 4 days as instructed by my Naturopath/midwife and was just about to give up hope and look at trying the misoprostol when I had a little sign of spotting last night (evening of day 4). So, the instructions said to take the Sabina every 4-6 hours after the symptoms begin and continue taking it until the m/c is complete. So, I took another dose before bed, another in the night and another this morning and wow, real spotting this morning, mostly brownish red. I never thought I'd be so happy to see spotting after dreading it for the past couple of months and now it's like yippee! I really hope that the Sabina will continue to work and am going to continue with it throughout the day. I also had a little cramping last night for the first time and a little this morning as well. Also, a good sign, moving in the right direction, FINALLY! Well, wish me luck in this new phase. Thanks again for everyones support, it is so very much appreciated!


----------



## Shiloh (Apr 15, 2005)

Wine might be helpful, it is an antioxidant and will help relax you.
Stress prevents pregnancy - or atleast they say it does...lol

We aren't ttc but I am taking my multivitamin, folic acid, asprin for my Factor2 religiously.

Try to put your energy and grief into projects - I remember reading once how women "back in the day"

would do hours of physical labour - work in the garden, wash walls, etc. to bring on a mc.

I hope your expectant management and herbs works quickly and painlessly.

I will be thinking and praying for you.


----------



## SuzieSmiles (Jul 13, 2012)

Thanks Shiloh. I too believe wine could be good for me and I've definitely partaken in a glass here and there since my last u/s. I had the thought about physical labor bringing on a m/c and decided to wash both of my big dogs on Sunday, it always wipes me out. So, I did it and still nothing... grrrrr! I've had spotting since Monday and passed some clots yesterday and today but nothing major. I have had a lot more cramping, especially in the night. I'm thinking that I will have to try to misoprostal tomorrow...

MamaBookworm - I was able to get an appointment for acupuncture and went in for treatment yesterday. He was really surprised that I've waited so long and concerned as well. He thinks I'll need a d&c but treated me once with a deal that I'd get a d&c in a week if not complete. He was very positive about working on me after I'm 'cleared out' to assist with a future healthy pregnancy. He recommended waiting 3 months for the endometrium to repair itself and be a healthy environment for carrying again. I stressed the fact I didn't want to wait that long and he said then at least wait 2 months before ttc. I'm torn. I'd hate to try again too soon and experience another m/c because my body wasn't ready, but I also hate the idea of waiting so long, UGH! It seems like it's been forever already and I just wish my body would hurry up! Anyway, I'll report on what I end up doing. Hope I'm able to avoid the dreaded d&c. Thanks again for all of your support.


----------



## Shiloh (Apr 15, 2005)

The spotting is a good sign and will help the misoprostol.

It works in 80% of all mmc. Chances are you won't need one!

I look back now and realise the body knew what it was doing.

If it had been a pregnant/not pregnant within an hour I would have been shellshocked.

The waiting game drove me nuts at the time, but gave me some time to be in the healing moments.


----------



## MamaBookworm (Jul 9, 2012)

I've heard that when a lot of time passes before you start to bleed that sometimes the body "re-absorbs" some of the tissue and there might not be that much bleeding. (That is totally not based on research I read or anything, I just heard a lot of stories like that on message boards.) My miscarriage was at 8 weeks and I was preparing myself for something much worse. I had kind of bothersome cramping and bleeding for maybe a day and a half and light bleeding for a total of 5 or 6 days. It was worse than a period, but not that much worse. I did pass something that seemed like a sack and a cord, though.

I also felt the urge to get pregnant again right away. And then I thought I never wanted to be pregnant again. And then back the other way. I was on a roller coaster those first couple of months. I was surprised at how long it took me to sort of level out. And recently, I passed what would have been my due date and that was harder than I anticipated. I'm glad you got the acupuncture. I felt like I had discovered a miracle cure when I started going. He also fixed my chronic sinus problems, constipation, insomnia and heartburn.

When are you going to return to a doctor? I imagine they will give you an ultrasound or do some more hcg tests to see where you are if there is ambiguity. Hope it all resolves soon. Waiting sucks.


----------



## sarahl918 (Jul 16, 2012)

Hi SuzieSmiles, I think we may have been in the same DDC together, I recognize your username! First of all I am so sorry to hear you're going through this. Unfortunately I don't have any advice about miscarrying naturally and how to make it go as smooth as possible, but I still wanted to offer my support. I am in the same exact boat as you - first pregnancy, first try, first miscarriage.  I also had an 8.5 week ultrasound with no heartbeat and a fetus only measuring 7 wks. At first I really wanted to do the m/c naturally but the thought of waiting it out for possibly weeks was too much for me to handle so I had a suction D&C after my 3rd ultrasound when I could see the sac collapsing and I knew for sure this was not meant to be. I've read the horror stories, but for me it was really a very fast, painless process. I did most of my grieving earlier, so I am feeling more at peace about everything and hopeful for the future. I like to think that because I (we!) got pregnant so quickly, it will happen again that way.  My doc said the same as yours, it's ok to start trying after one normal period. Which is what we plan to do!

Good luck to you & I hope your experience is quick and painless, You sound like you're in a really great place and I hope it gets better for you everyday. <3


----------



## SuzieSmiles (Jul 13, 2012)

*Shiloh* - thanks again, it's so much easier to go through this with support. The waiting has been awful but it has it's blessing as well in that I've had time to grieve and to give my body the time it needs and trust that all will go well. I'm still keeping the faith

*MamaBookworm* - thanks for your support and sharing your experiences. I too was under the impression that something horrific was going to happen, I had images of huge amounts of blood and extreme pain. But, I think all of this research I'd been doing was getting me mixed up, clogging my brain and making me crazy. I don't recall too many posts about major things happening this early on with a missed miscarriage. It's my 1st everything, so I can't compare it to anything, some women say it's like giving birth, etc... I just feel that since I only had 7 weeks of growth and started spotting 3 weeks later that I won't really pass anything large. This past week that I've been spotting, I've passed quite a bit of tissue and have had mild cramps throughout the day which get worse after 8pm, then I take some Ibuprofen to help. I'm now wondering if I should even take the misoprostol or just continue with this natural process (taking the homeopathic Sabina). It seems like things are moving along, even though it seems like such a slow process.

Question: when you say that it was "worse than a period" did you mean the cramps or the bleeding?

I'm glad that the acupuncture helped you. It really is an amazing treatment for so many things. I'm looking forward to more sessions in the future.

Don't have a plan for going back to my doc (naturopath/midwife), no insurance and he didn't mention a follow up appointment. He said he was here if I needed him (and I have his cell # and have used it) but that if things didn't pass, I'd need to go see someone for a D&C. So, I haven't given much thought to another appointment. Maybe it would be a good idea to go back later for another u/s to confirm I'm all clear...?

Probably going to go into too much info here, but here goes... I'd always had very mild periods throughout my life, very little/manageable bleeding for only 2-3 days until a year ago (when I went in for an u/s because of some discomfort in my left ovary). I found out that I had an ovarian cyst and a small uterine polyp. Since then I've had horrible periods with lots of cramping and heavy bleeding. That's when I started taking herbs and adjusting my diet to an anti-inflammatory diet to rid my body of these things. My naturopath said that pregnancy can almost be like a re-set button and that he wouldn't be surprised if they disappear afterwards. So, in my mind, I am hoping that they are either gone or have diminished in size where they won't cause the same issues as before. So, maybe the spotting I've had this week is a good sign that I'm on the road to healing...

*saral918* - yes, we were in the same DDC! And, I can't believe we were in the exact same boat! Wow! I'm so sorry you had to go through this as well. It makes it so hard with all of the firsts. And, I totally understand the not waiting, it's been really difficult. If you don't mind me asking, were you awake for the procedure? If I end up having to have one, I think I'd like to be present in the moment, I'm scared of being under anesthesia but I'm not sure how easy it would be to find a doc to allow that. You too sound like you're in a good place and I also believe we'll both be able to conceive quickly again! Are you continuing with your prenatal vitamins (I am)? Isn't it great to have the support of women on these boards, it's amazing. I hope that we're in the same DDC again, wouldn't that be cool! Good luck to you too, hope you get another BFP as soon as you're able!

Thanks again ladies for sharing and all of your kindness, it really does help and means a lot.


----------



## sarahl918 (Jul 16, 2012)

Suzie - I know, hard to believe that our situations were so similar, but kind of nice to know you are not alone in what you're going through at that very moment. I don't mind you asking at all, but no I was completely asleep for the procedure. I can understand completely wanting to be present and aware for the m/c, that was my original plan. But the more I thought about it and came to peace with the decision I just wanted it to be over as fast and painless as possible. Maybe I am just a wimp. It didn't hurt that I have had surgery before so I knew what to expect from the anesthesia. My doctor is wonderful and the staff at the hospital made it very easy on me. I didn't have any pain before, during, and after (at least not yet!). I don't think it is that tough to find a doc that would put you under general anesthesia... but if yours doesn't, and you decide you're more comfortable with it, I would definitely ask for a referral!

I have been taking my prenatals, but I'll be honest, I haven't been as diligent about it as I was before. My mind is kind of all over the place at the moment so I am having a tough time remembering... hard enough to remember to take the antibiotics they prescribed for post D&C. But I want to keep up with it so that our future baby (fingers crossed) will have as healthy an environment as possible you know! Plus they are great for me, too.  I really hope things work out for both of us and how awesome that would be to be in another DDC together.  These boards are such a great source of comfort and wisdom and support. Please keep us updated on how things are progressing for you... I hope you are comfortable and feeling as positive as possible. Xo


----------



## MamaBookworm (Jul 9, 2012)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *SuzieSmiles*
> 
> Question: when you say that it was "worse than a period" did you mean the cramps or the bleeding?


Cramps were worse, and contraction-like for about a couple of hours one evening. I felt sick to my stomach and had to lie down for a little while. But the bleeding was no worse than a normal period for me.


----------



## SuzieSmiles (Jul 13, 2012)

*saral918* - Thanks for sharing your experience. So good that you have a wonderful doc with kind staff. You're not a wimp, if circumstances were different, I may have opted for that as well. I know it's very common to have a d&c, I'm the wimp! As far as remembering to take your prenatal... Just as suggestion... I put my prenatal (dosage 3xday) along with my herbs/supplements in one of those daily/week pill boxes. It was getting way too confusing, I'd forget if I'd taken them or not. I have a large week dispenser, one that has a section for both AM & PM because I take so many different things and I like to split them up throughout the day. I take some with breakfast, some with lunch and remainder with dinner. Each time I sit down to eat, I've made it a habit that when I set the table, along with my napkin and silverware, I've got my handy pill box there as a reminder. And, if I know I'm going to be eating out, I take whatever meals dosage with me in a ziplock baggie in my purse and take them in the restaurant, people probably think I'm weird, but what I'm doing is important (for the health of a future baby and me) so I don't care if I look like a pill poppin' freak! I hope you continue to heal and stay positive

*MamaBookworm* - Thanks for the clarification. I do appreciate your sharing and caring

Update: (FYI - might be a little too much for some) Sunday night/early Monday morning 3:30am... I woke up with some pain/pressure and felt like I needed to pee. After I got back from the bathroom and was in bed I had a lot of pain, it was constant and really really bad. I took Ibuprofen and rocked back and forth, moaning as my DH was trying to calm me. Then, with no pain relief about a half hour later, I decided to take one of the pain pills prescribed by doc (as a just in case)... I took that and rocked and moaned again for a while until the pill knocked me out and I was able to fall back sleep.

I woke around 9am and felt wrong, I was queasy, shaking, nauseous and freaked out (I think this was all caused by the pain pill because I needed food in my stomach). I asked DH to get me a slice of toast which he did immediately. I had a hard time swallowing and was starting to think I was having a bad reaction to the pain medication. DH was about ready to take me to the ER and that's when I really lost it. I completely freaked, to say I was crying is an understatement, I was a mess. He was able to calm me down, got me to drink some water and eat a few more bites of toast. I stayed in bed and tried to relax, deep breathing, etc...

About 20 minutes later I felt the need to rush to the bathroom and had a huge surge/gush, lots of tissue/clots whatever you call it in large clumps/sections way bigger than any lots/tissue I'd passed in the previous week. This happened 2 more times within the following hour. I thoroughly inspected everything but couldn't tell for sure if the embryo passed. I had 2-3 more surges and passed more in the afternoon, couldn't believe how much, I had no idea. Still not able to determine what exactly passed, but it sure seems like the majority must have been expelled. I bled a lot during these surges but not that much in between when I was laying down. No real pain either, just mild cramps, nothing like contractions, well haven't ever had any but I certainly don't feel that I had any...

Today, I feel more like I'm having a period but a very light one. I have a headache which sucks but other than that I'm starting to feel normal again which is nice with tolerable intermittent cramps. I'm not thinking I'm totally of the woods yet as I know that things can pass even after you think you're done, so I'm just taking it easy and letting things continue to happen naturally. I'm out of the homeopathic Sabina, but I really feel it did the trick to encourage my body to start this process. I've definitely opted against taking the misoprostol as I don't think I need it now. I feel such relief and am glad that things seem to be moving in the right direction.

Am so thankful for my DH, I don't know what I'd do without him.







Thanks again for letting me share and for all of the support.


----------



## Shiloh (Apr 15, 2005)

sorry for your loss mama.

I hope healing is on the way.


----------



## sarahl918 (Jul 16, 2012)

Suzie - I definitely need to get me one of those pill organizers. I always think "no, those are for old people!" but I'm like you - too many vitamins/herbs/etc to keep track of! I stopped taking my herbs when I found out I was expecting because I wasn't sure they were safe. I haven't yet resumed taking them. I have been better about the prenatals the last couple of days though - decided that even though the whole situation sucks (SUCKS) I shouldn't punish my body further and that it will be so helpful to my future baby. I hope things are progressing well and that you aren't in any pain. It sounds like the hardest part is behind you! I am feeling physically and emotionally better each day but every once in a while find a pregnancy or baby-related text or a bookmark that I made when things were looking more optimistic and it makes me a little sad. I am really hoping these next couple of months go by quickly... I am already looking forward to trying again. Xo


----------



## SuzieSmiles (Jul 13, 2012)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Shiloh*
> 
> sorry for your loss mama.
> 
> I hope healing is on the way.


Thanks Shiloh, I too hope healing is coming soon. And, I hope that your healing is getting better every day

My update: I thought Monday was the end of the major part of the m/c but I was wrong. Tuesday was pretty normal (I think), alternating spotting with light period, some stringy tissue but not much, mild cramps, etc. Then, Wednesday afternoon I had another gush, passed a lot of large tissue/clots again and what I am pretty sure were remnants of the embryo (looked very different to everything else I've passed). Yesterday was similar to Tuesday, pretty normal. I wonder what today has planned for me... Strange thing to me is that when I'm actually passing 'things' I don't have any pain at all, isn't that weird? I mean I have had cramping on and off and right before I have one of these 'surges' I have pain and pressure and run to the bathroom but then the pain disappears... I can't imagine that there can be that much more to be passed, I mean I was only 7 weeks when it stopped... it sure seems like I've passed WAY MORE than I was expecting to. Does anyone have experience with or know how much volume is normal to pass for 7 weeks? I guess normal doesn't really apply as all of us can have different experiences and since I held on for so long it might make sense that I have so much to pass... I feel OK physically, similar to period-like symptoms.

Quote:



> Originally Posted by *sarahl918*
> 
> I definitely need to get me one of those pill organizers. I always think "no, those are for old people!" but I'm like you - too many vitamins/herbs/etc to keep track of! I stopped taking my herbs when I found out I was expecting because I wasn't sure they were safe. I haven't yet resumed taking them. I have been better about the prenatals the last couple of days though - decided that even though the whole situation sucks (SUCKS) I shouldn't punish my body further and that it will be so helpful to my future baby. I hope things are progressing well and that you aren't in any pain. It sounds like the hardest part is behind you! I am feeling physically and emotionally better each day but every once in a while find a pregnancy or baby-related text or a bookmark that I made when things were looking more optimistic and it makes me a little sad. I am really hoping these next couple of months go by quickly... I am already looking forward to trying again. Xo










I know, it's so funny, I too always thought they were for old people, I have visions right now of my Grandmas pill boxes, but they really are useful little things!

I stopped taking most everything too when I found out I was pregnant even though I know a lot of what I was taking would probably be alright, I was just too freaked to take anything that might have the slightest possibility of a problem. I did continue to take my prenatal, Vitamin D, Spirulina and Krill Oil. My doc recommended some additional Iron supplementation, so I took some (and still am taking it while I'm m/c). I also read that Vitamin E can help to hold a pregnancy, so I took that as well. I've stopped taking the Vit E but will take it again as soon as we start ttc. I read that it's best to have a good intake of Folic Acid for at least 6 months prior to ttc, so I am definitely continuing with my prenatal and have reintroduced most of the herbs I was taking before. What herbs/supplements were you taking? Glad to hear that you are doing better remembering your prenatal and that you're taking care of yourself. I know it sucks and is hard to do sometimes! Actually, the day I had the u/s, I asked DH to take me to eat some fast food = junk food which I never do, I totally wanted to trash myself! I regret it, but I get how you feel. And, I understand what you mean about the reminders... I have a folder bookmarked with tons of baby related stuff and am actually still adding to it. But, sometimes when I see a commercial with a cute little baby, I go through all kinds of emotions, jealousy, sadness, etc. but I try to find solace in the belief that someday I'll be blessed with a little one and I do my best to stay in that positive place. It's great that you're feeling better. I hope you continue in your path to health, happiness and a future sticky one!


----------



## Shiloh (Apr 15, 2005)

Too had some "relief" when passing the first bits of tissue.
I had more cramping after. I'm expecting a period at the end of the month, I am hopeful it will be normal like the last one. The mix of light spotting and cramping for 2 months drove me nuts...and I didn't have far to go! I am okay unless triggeredby a woman looking 5-6 months pregnant or a new born.
I'm not ttc but I've kept up the folic acid as unless my tubes are tied its responsible...
Thanks for sharing your story, I hope we've been helpful.
I pray for everyone's rainbows.


----------



## SuzieSmiles (Jul 13, 2012)

Update: I went in for an u/s on Thursday to see if I had any RPOC as I passed more tissue on Monday and again on Wednesday. I was starting to get worried since this has been going on for so long. The u/s showed that I had remaining tissue and I also had a pap, a culture which showed I had an infection. So, I was put on 2 different types of antibiotics (wow - I haven't taken antibiotics in over 15 years). I decided to go ahead and take the misoptostol that evening in the hopes that the remaining tissues, etc... would pass. Unfortunately, it didn't.

On Friday, my ND/midwife referred me to an OBGYN that he highly recommended (a 72 year old with lots of experience) AND he offered to do the procedure in his office, yippee! I was prescribed something to calm my nerves as well as pain medication to take an hour prior to the procedure. I actually ended up have a D&A (dilation and aspiration, meaning suction curette rather than sharp curette) not a D&C which is apparently common in first trimester miscarriages. He also did an u/s before the procedure to see what he needed to do, which I was pleased about. I had no idea how much it would hurt!!! It didn't last long and he had to go in twice but each time it was excruciating pain, the nurse held my hand which was nice. I am glad that I was awake and that I didn't have to go through the whole hospital ordeal which I was really dreading. Didn't hurt much afterwards, I was more in shock than anything, my body was shaking and I had to hold back tears. When DH & I got to the car, I broke down and cried my eyes out. BTW, DH was allowed to be in the room with me which was amazingly helpful, I could see him sitting behind the Dr. and it comforted be beyond belief.

Before the actual D&A, he inserted the speculum, he went in with some tool and had me hold my breath then breathe out deeply and push. He removed a really really really large piece, much larger than anything I had passed before and I had passed a lot of really large pieces before. I believe the piece he removed was blocking the rest of the things that needed to be expelled and was the cause of the infection and of me not being able to pass everything. Emotionally, I felt like that was the actual miscarriage. I think the suction only ended up removing the smaller pieces/remnants and am hopeful that he got everything. I go back in 2 weeks for a follow up.

I am of course concerned about scar tissue which was my main concern all along. But, since I had an infection and my body obviously wasn't able to pass everything as it should have (and I definitely gave myself plenty of time to do it naturally, 6+ weeks), it had to be done. I'm really bummed that I wasn't able to complete this miscarriage naturally, but I really tried and I guess that's all I could do. I'm still kind of in shock and am surprised about how emotional I am right now. I thought that after all of this time of grieving and going through this process I was kind of passed the mourning stage and moving on to the hopeful stage. But, after yesterday, it's almost like it's all coming back again, I feel like I'm starting all over. UGH! It's probably just because it's so soon after the procedure and I'm sure that everything will be OK and that I'll process this grief better than before. I just feel really sad today and felt the need to share my most recent sorrow and experience. Thanks MDC for being here!

And, *Shiloh*, thanks as always for sharing and your support. I guess things turned out for me the same way they did for you, tried naturally, ended up taking the misoprostol and still had to have the procedure, ugh, what a long, drawn out ordeal. I'm having kind of a light period today, not in a lot of pain, haven't taken anything other than my antibiotics. I can't wait for this to be over, have a normal period and the ability to start TTC again.

Peace, hope and love to all


----------



## sarahl918 (Jul 16, 2012)

Hey Suzie, I am so sorry things took so long to progress.   I'm glad to hear that the procedure went well and that at least physically, things are officially over. How scary that must have been to hear you have an infection, but what a blessing to have such a knowledgable doctor. In my opinion that really does make all the difference! That's also great you were able to avoid the hospital. I don't know for sure but I think one of the advantages of a D&A over a D&C is the reduction of possible scarring... at least that is what my OB told me! (I had the aspiration as well). One thing I did want to comment on was the emotional rollercoaster AFTER the procedure. I felt like I was going up and down for days... I had trouble sleeping, then I slept til 1030am. I didn't want to see anyone at times, was sad & crying, then I was okay & felt like I could resume my normal routine. It was really unpredictable. I commented on this to my alt med Dr, and my OB when I went for the 2-week post op checkup, both said it is very common to have symptoms of postpartum depression following a miscarriage. It usually doesn't last as long as it would for a full term pregnancy, but it is there for a week or so. Makes perfect sense considering what your body just went through! My Dr. gave me some MORE Chinese herbs (now I really need one of those Grandma pill boxes!) to help stabilize my body and get my cycle back to normal. So far it has helped me in being able to fall asleep more calmly and everyday I feel less like I can't control my emotions.

I hope the sadness you are feeling is soon replaced by hope again and that you are able to get back to a happy place before it is time to try again. I know it will happen! Until then, take good care of you & pamper yourself!! Rest as much as you feel like you need to, your body has been through so much. I look forward to sharing happy stories with you in the future. 

Xoxo

Sarah


----------



## SuzieSmiles (Jul 13, 2012)

Thanks Sarah, you're so sweet. It has been such a roller coaster and the postpartum depression thing definitely sounds reasonable, never thought of that before. Need to get some pampering soon, sounds like a great plan. Good docs are such a blessing, glad that you have one too! And, happy to hear you have some herbs helping you. I occasionally take valerian to calm me at night and help me sleep, it works great. Thankfully doing a little better today. And, yes, it would be awesome to share some happy stories with you in the future, look forward to that.










Thanks again for sharing and caring, you're such a darling and I truly hope things get better for you every day.


----------



## Shiloh (Apr 15, 2005)

Hi Suzie,If only it were as easy as it all sounds like it should be.

I am healing, but still grieving. I am okay, somedays I still cry a little.

Fridays are hard for me as I count the week more I'd have been pregnant.

But then half of me is happy to have that beer guilt free, etc

Depression goes away on its own time.

I have started nesting, doing all my major projects, renovating the kitchen, painting the whole house.

I put the baby's stuff in a drawer in my bedroom with my pregnancy books etc, not quite ready to cardboard box it all.


----------



## SuzieSmiles (Jul 13, 2012)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Shiloh*
> 
> Hi Suzie,If only it were as easy as it all sounds like it should be.
> 
> ...


Thanks Shiloh - My Monday's are the same as your Friday's and I totally know what you mean. Fortunately we didn't buy any baby stuff yet... but I did check out a bunch of library books and have returned them all, it was too hard seeing them, let alone reading them. But, I'll revisit them when the time comes. I think it's stepping stones to healing and you putting your stuff in a drawer is just one of the steps, hope that your projects bring you positive outcomes and the guilt free beer is definitely a bonus

I've been hesitant to post about this as I probably tend to post TMI, but wondering if anyone can comment on the following... The last 2-3 days my spotting from the m/c has been tapering off, sometimes none at all and I've had a lot of what appears to me to be EWCM but tinged with blood. It's been a week since my D&A, several weeks since the embryo stopped growing AND due to the fact I went through such a weird missed m/c with passing most of the tissue, etc. a couple of weeks ago... I'm wondering if I could possibly be ovulating or about to? We haven't DTD as we thought we were supposed to wait until I stopped bleeding and wait at least 2 weeks after the procedure, so there are no concerns about my getting pg (want to be fully healed first), but just curious if this EWCM thing is normal or if anyone can elaborate on it? Maybe this is the wrong place to post this question, but thought I'd try here first Thanks for any input...


----------



## Shiloh (Apr 15, 2005)

Nothing was normal for me for a long time. We're "postpartum" after all. The hormones take a while to get to zero.
Maybe start temping so you know what's what. I spotted in between periods up until December!


----------

