# baby has died at 7 weeks---D&C or progress naturally??



## freestyler (Jan 28, 2005)

This morning I learned that our baby died at about 7 weeks, and I'm in about week 11 (technically) of the pregnancy. I am scheduled for a D&C on Wednesday. The embryo measures only 9 mm. I've been crying a lot today....just very very sad.

But I have a logistical question. What do you think would happen if I allowed spontaneous miscarriage, rather than undergoing a D&C? Do you think it would be horrible?

The doctor believes that a D&C results in fewer problems like incomplete miscarriage/retained tissue/etc. I trust this doc completely--he is not one to suggest procedures just for the heck of it. But I am also interested in what experiences you all have had.

Damn, I cannot believe I find myself on this forum. Pregnancy loss....I still have not grasped it. I just feel numb.

I've been taking progesterone, 200 mg a day orally. (Mine is low.) I have heard that the progesterone will keep a non-viable pregnancy in there longer. Do you ladies think this is true? How long after a baby dies in there does it usually miscarry naturally, if it's the first trimester? This babe died about 2 1/2 or 3 weeks ago. It seems to me that the babe somehow does not want to leave me---is that because of the progesterone, that he/she is still in there? In any case, I'm stopping the progesterone.

My heart aches. I feel so sad. Hugs to all of us who have had a loss. It sucks. It REALLY sucks.


----------



## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

My research showed no increased risk in waiting for a natural m/c as long as there was no infection or excessive bleeding. D&Cs carry several real risks to future fertility.

My m/c was a blighted ovum, so it was a little different, but I m/c naturally on my own and was glad I did.

-Angela


----------



## MaryLang (Jun 18, 2004)

I just had much the same thing happen. I was 10 wks, baby died at a little over 6 wks. This is a very personal decision, for me we waited a week and then had a D&C. I just wasn't comfortable going another potential month or longer, my body was showing no signs whatsoever of m/c. The baby's sac was still growing. I have had 2 previous natural m/c's, but under these circumstances I was happy with my decision to go with a D&C this time.
I'm so sorry, and I hope you find peace in whatever you decide.


----------



## HRC121799 (Aug 8, 2003)

I am so sorry for your loss.







I had two miscarriages between having my two children. The first one was like you, I was in the 11th week and at a routine dr's appt. found out the baby had stopped developing in the 8th week. I had no signs of miscarriage, no spotting or anything, but decided to wait a couple of days to decide on whether or not to do a D&C. The next day, in the afternoon, I felt a "pop" and from about 1:30pm to 10pm that night, I miscarried. It was a lot of blood loss, I will be honest. It felt like early labor. If I hadn't known what to expect, I would've gone to the ER. I had spent the hours before it happened reading all I could about miscarrying, what it would be like, etc. It was very painful, but emotionally, I felt like I was in control of it, I participated in the passing, it was sort of healing to be awake.

But then when we found out another one had stopped developing, this time in the 9th week, I couldn't handle waiting, I just wanted it over with so I could begin to heal emotionally. I had a D&C. Went into the hospital in the late afternoon (I'd eaten cereal that AM, so I had to wait longer), and was home by 10pm. The D&C was easier physically, but scarier emotionally because of all the outside intervention. We have our two boys, but are thinking about TTC again in the future. My fear of m/c again has me changing my mind often. If it were to happen again, I might do it naturally rather than go in for a D&C.

Oh, and when I m/c naturally, I did have to go in for blood draws every 2 days for a couple of weeks so we could be sure my HCG levels were going down. A few days after the main part of the m/c, I was having some very uncomfortable pain in my cervix. I felt a piece of tissue partially sticking out, and once I removed it the pain was gone. I physically healed fairly quickly after that.

With the D&C, there was pain from them manually opening the cervix (they use seaweed sticks or something to soften it first, don't know if that helped or what), and then I couldn't leave until I used the bathroom and that was annoying. I just had to rest a lot for a few days.

Anyways, if you have any other questions just ask. I know how utterly devastating it is, and what a strange feeling it is. I was in shock, both times. It took a lot of strength and hope to try again, but now we have our littlest ds.


----------



## sarahtar (Mar 19, 2004)

My second loss was a similar story, baby had already been dead for a while when we discovered a lack of heartbeat at 10 weeks. I m/c naturally near 12 weeks.

I personally would/could not have done it any other way. I believe in natural birth, and that's what this was - the birth of my baby. At home. In privacy. It was important for my MENTAL health to experience it, rather than wake up with it done.

It was not something I'm eager to do again. It was not HORRIBLE, but there was pain from bad cramps and there was the, uh, gushing blood and clots factor. We used nearly every spare towel we had. Took 4 days of pretty heavy bleeding. I understand my experience is not typical.

We had no blood draws, nothing. The option was there if I wanted it, but I felt physically OK (if very drained from blood loss) a few days after it was over, so we opted not to.


----------



## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

I'm so sory for your loss.


----------



## Amydoula (Jun 20, 2004)

I am so sorry for your loss







I had a missed miscarriage as well, baby died at 9 weeks but it wasn't discoverd until 12 weeks. I waited a week and had the D&C. For me it was the best decision I ever made. I had had a natural miscarriage the first time and it was very hard on my body, lots of blood and lots of pain. The surgery was such an easier recovery for me. Some cramps in the begining but nothing advil couldn't handle and hardly any blood. I just got my first AF this past week, about 5.5 weeks after the surgery and it was normal not heavy like after a natural miscarriage. I totally support natural childbirth, had one with my DS but in this instance I had a much easier time with medical intervention. Wishing you peace with whichever way you choose.


----------



## freestyler (Jan 28, 2005)

I'm so sorry we all had these horrible losses and had to go through all this. I'm leaning towards the D&C tomorrow. But I am so undecided. I also have had all four kids naturally, no drugs or interventions (except the last one who was stuck and would not come down and had to have c/s). But for each birth, I always let nature and my body lead the way, totally, until either the baby was born or it became clear that the baby was not going to be born vaginally.

In this case, I also feel like I want to go naturally, but honestly, thinking about all the bleeding and cramping, and possibly severe bleeding and prolonged suffering, gives me the creeps. I'm not sure if I want to deal with the emotional trauma. I think it's traumatic either way though---a child is being lost.

I honor all of your stories and thank you for sharing them. I'll let you guys know what happens.


----------



## Chicky2 (May 29, 2002)

I'm so sorry for your loss, Mama.

My last pg resulted in the m/c of twins who would have been identical, had they survived. 2 months later I found out that there was still one kickin' in there! I shudder to think what would have happened if I'd had a d&c.


----------



## heatherweh (Nov 29, 2007)

Hugs to you and yes it does suck, it sucks big time; and it is not fair. I found myself there at the end of November, went in for an apt at 9 weeks and the baby had stopped developing at 6 1/2 or 7 weeks. As soon as I heard the news I started bleeding regularly (like a period) and it lasted for 4 days. I found out the bad news on a Tuesday and had the miscarriage on Friday. I am grateful that things progressed naturally, I strongly wanted to avoid a D&C, but I don't know how long I would have been willing to wait, maybe 2-3 weeks more at the most. There was not excessive bleeding, it was like a heavy period, a few more clots perhaps. Passing the 'products of conception' was somewhat painful in that I could feel that pressure like when your cervix is dialating, but just slighly compared to labor, it was not not unbearable, I asked my doctor for pain med and he gave me a few percoset or something, so that was nice. After passing that (and it just looked sort of gooey like cherry pie filling) the bleeding ceased pretty rapidly and then my periods began again after a month. My body really knew how to take care of it and for that I am thankful.


----------



## shannjane (Feb 13, 2008)

I have had three miscarriages and they have all had to be induced. I had a D&C with the first one because it was 9-10wks and my doctor wanted me to do that b/c of the larger amount of tissue, but I had a pill sepository for the next two called cytotech which induces the miscarriage. I liked doing the meds because I was able to do it at home and be with the people I loved----and it was almost scheduled. This process is a little painful, but I think worth it. I didn't like the D&C b/c surgery no matter how minor isn't the greatest. There are some more risks with a D&C like any medical procedure, but it isn't horribly high in risks
If it has already been three weeks then you probably aren't far away from miscarrying, but you can never tell when it will happen.
You need to do what is best for you and your body. I wanted everything to be over with quickly that is why I decided to use meds and procedures.
It is very difficult to go through this and unfourtuneately some of us are experts. Please feel free to ask any questions or vent when you need to.


----------



## freestyler (Jan 28, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Chicky2* 
I'm so sorry for your loss, Mama.

My last pg resulted in the m/c of twins who would have been identical, had they survived. 2 months later I found out that there was still one kickin' in there! I shudder to think what would have happened if I'd had a d&c.

Sorry about the losses you suffered ---that is a huge amount of loss and must have been very hard. VERY hard. How amazing that one stayed with you! Wow. That is awesome. What a miracle.

I am confident that my doctor and his excellent team have NOT missed one. No, there is only one embryo in there, and it is long gone. Today I had a farewell ceremony at the beach for the little bean. Feeling more at peace now.

Thank you for your support ladies!!! HUGS!


----------



## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *freestyler* 
This morning I learned that our baby died at about 7 weeks, and I'm in about week 11 (technically) of the pregnancy. I am scheduled for a D&C on Wednesday. The embryo measures only 9 mm. I've been crying a lot today....just very very sad.

But I have a logistical question. What do you think would happen if I allowed spontaneous miscarriage, rather than undergoing a D&C? Do you think it would be horrible?

The doctor believes that a D&C results in fewer problems like incomplete miscarriage/retained tissue/etc. I trust this doc completely--he is not one to suggest procedures just for the heck of it. But I am also interested in what experiences you all have had.

I let all three of my miscarriages (one at about 7-8 weeks, and two at 12 weeks) complete naturally. A D&C was offered each time, but not pushed in any way.

Honestly, unless there's a solid reason to believe that the miscarriage won't be complete, I wouldn't have a D&C. If it doesn't clear completely, they can probably determine that later, and you can have the D&C, _if_ it's required. I really don't think enough is known about the effects of D&C on a woman's uterus, and wouldn't have one unless it was absolutely necessary.


----------



## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

I noticed a couple of you saying that your baby was lost at a certain number of weeks, but not discovered right away. I hope this isn't offensive, but how was it discovered, and how did they know how far along you were when it was lost? The first I knew of any of my miscarriages was when the cramping and bleeding started (cramping first with the first, and bleeding first with the next two).


----------



## freestyler (Jan 28, 2005)

Well, I had an ultrasound to rule out ectopic at about 9 weeks, and there was the first indication that the baby wasn't growing well. But it still had a heartbeat, albeit a very faint one. Yesterday another ultrasound was performed and the embryo was the same size and the heartbeat was gone.

Rest in peace, our little angel.


----------



## HRC121799 (Aug 8, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
I noticed a couple of you saying that your baby was lost at a certain number of weeks, but not discovered right away. I hope this isn't offensive, but how was it discovered, and how did they know how far along you were when it was lost? The first I knew of any of my miscarriages was when the cramping and bleeding started (cramping first with the first, and bleeding first with the next two).

Mine was just at a routine OB appointment. At that point in my pregnancy, they should have been able to hear the heartbeat with the doppler thing. When they couldn't, my OB sent me to the ultrasound place to have an ultrasound. That confirmed that the baby was no longer alive, and the size of the baby was 7w3d for my first miscarriage, when it should have been 11 weeks sized. There was no heartbeat and it had started to go into pieces.

With my second one, I had ultrasounds from early on, to keep progress. Also HCG testing early on as well. Finally in the 9th week, it was shown the baby had only progressed to the 6th or 7th week I think it was, and my HCG had not gone up like it should have. There was no heartbeat with that one, ever.

Since I had been charting my temperatures and cervical fluids and ovulation, I knew to the day when I had conceived. For both miscarriages, I had no symptoms of miscarrying. For the first one, I only began spotting *after* the diagnosis of the baby having stopped developing. Like, within hours. It was very strange.

My little ds is almost 5, and these miscarriages happened before he was born, so it feels like it was a long time ago, yet it's all still so vivid. Especially now when we talk about TTC again, it all comes back to me. I have to prepare myself to go through it again and accept that, before I can ever TTC again.


----------



## Amydoula (Jun 20, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
I noticed a couple of you saying that your baby was lost at a certain number of weeks, but not discovered right away. I hope this isn't offensive, but how was it discovered, and how did they know how far along you were when it was lost? The first I knew of any of my miscarriages was when the cramping and bleeding started (cramping first with the first, and bleeding first with the next two).

I started spotting at one day shy of 12 weeks and knew it wasn't normal. Went to the hospital and the ultrasound showed no heartbeat and a baby that measured 9 weeks.


----------



## heatherweh (Nov 29, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
I noticed a couple of you saying that your baby was lost at a certain number of weeks, but not discovered right away. I hope this isn't offensive, but how was it discovered, and how did they know how far along you were when it was lost? The first I knew of any of my miscarriages was when the cramping and bleeding started (cramping first with the first, and bleeding first with the next two).

I had some light pink spotting at 9 weeks after lifting some boxes, so I went in to get an u/s. That's when they discovered that the baby stopped developing before 7 weeks (they measured it on the sonogram machine). I was really expecting a healthy 9-week baby so it came as a total shock to me (and I think even the people who worked there because the happy banter ended as soon as the image came up).


----------



## freestyler (Jan 28, 2005)

Well mammas, it's all over. I had the D&C today. Feeling pretty crappy and I'm headed to bed now. The hospital and doctors were WONDERFUL, so caring and such superb care.

I'm hoping for happy news, a healthy baby next time, no more of this kind of loss. It has been so hard. I miss my little bean already. I miss my baby. I liked having him/her growing in there. I just miss my baby.

Well, time heals all wounds. I hope we are able to have another one.


----------



## Amydoula (Jun 20, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *freestyler* 
Well mammas, it's all over. I had the D&C today. Feeling pretty crappy and I'm headed to bed now. The hospital and doctors were WONDERFUL, so caring and such superb care.

I'm hoping for happy news, a healthy baby next time, no more of this kind of loss. It has been so hard. I miss my little bean already. I miss my baby. I liked having him/her growing in there. I just miss my baby.

Well, time heals all wounds. I hope we are able to have another one.


----------



## birthangeldoula (Feb 1, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *freestyler* 
Well mammas, it's all over. I had the D&C today. Feeling pretty crappy and I'm headed to bed now. The hospital and doctors were WONDERFUL, so caring and such superb care.

I'm hoping for happy news, a healthy baby next time, no more of this kind of loss. It has been so hard. I miss my little bean already. I miss my baby. I liked having him/her growing in there. I just miss my baby.
c i
Well, time heals all wounds. I hope we are able to have another one.










I'm so sorry for your loss. I know making the decision to have a d&c is a hard choice to make.


----------



## Ilaria (Jan 14, 2002)

Chiming in late .... I have had 4 miscarriages.
8 weeks - natural
12.5 weeks - D&C
7 weeks - natural
8 weeks (twins) - natural

I avoid a D&C if at all possible.

Sorry about your loss.


----------



## sacredforest (Feb 18, 2008)

I am very sorry for your loss. I too suffered 3 miscarriages around 7-10 wks. I am considered "high risk" because we did not find a cause. I went with the natural option and did not regret it. For me I did not want to be in a doctors office at that time, it was a very personal thing for me and I wanted to grieve in my own way. it is a medical procedure with risks as well. I am an herbalist, I had supporting herbs that I took to help with the process (pm me if you would like details) this is a very personal decision.


----------

