# Placing child in car seat when you are alone...clarification inside! :)



## MrsRefney (Jan 3, 2009)

Let me clarify:

When we are out and about, just me and the girl, (she's 18 months) when I go to put her in her car seat (middle of the back seat, 4 door car), I feel very vulnerable. My back is turned to the outside, I couldn't see if someone were to come up behind me. I've tried getting in the front seat with her, closing the door and putting her in her seat, you know, reaching from the front seat, but man is that awkward, and then I'm showing my ass to everyone getting her strapped in. I've tried getting in the back seat with her and closing the door, but she is FF and there's barely enough room to sit by her car seat much less wrestle her in there (she's in a Boulevard).

So, just wondering how you other mamas do it...


----------



## waiting2bemommy (Dec 2, 2007)

I have felt this way at times when I was long distance traveling and it was dark outside. My solution has been to strap him in super quick and hop in the front seat and lock all the doors. then i drive a short distance away and adjust the straps to make them properly tight and whatnot.

But I don't see being afraid every time unless you live in bad area or something.


----------



## MrsRefney (Jan 3, 2009)

I'm not "afraid" every time we go out...I just realized that I'm leaving myself very vulnerable with 1-2 minutes of my back turned to the world. We've had an uptick in crime, and we recently had an unstable lady stalking our LLL...so I'm feeling kind of vulnerable at the moment.


----------



## Just1More (Jun 19, 2008)

I feel the same way.

We're about to have 3 kids, and I can't just slip in the backseat with 3 carseats back there anymore! With just ds and dd, I have dd come in and out ds's door (which is the driver's side door), and buckle herself in. I then quickly strap ds in, and get in myself and lock the doors.

If for some reason I let dd in on her side and then go around the truck to put ds in, I ALWAYS lock the doors. If I step away (you know, 2 or 3 parking spaces to put the cart back or something), I ALWAYS lock the doors. I unlock it to put ds in (and lock them again while I'm doing it), and then unlock to get in my door, and immediately lock it again. (I use my remote, so it's quick and easy).

If I truly feel uncomfortable, I have dd climb in through my door, put ds in after her, and jump in myself and lock the doors. Then I put them in. Sure, it's awkward, but we do a lot of traveling and sometimes you just don't know where you are, you know?

We live in a fairly safe area, but I just heard recently about a lady who had her back turned putting in her toddler with the cart RIGHT BESIDE HER with her baby in it. A nutso walked by and just started pushing her cart away with her baby in it! And she was RIGHT THERE. (She did catch the lady and her baby in time, btw). So, I am pretty careful. I always have a hand on my kids.

Another friend was shocked one day when she had put her daughter in (they lived in D.C. then) and then gone around to get in her door. She didn't know her husband was home. He slipped in the passenger seat while she was walking around the vehicle. When she got in, he said something like "why don't you take me to...". She about passed out. She had never thought how easy it would be for someone to get in like that.

Here's a few safety tips for when you are in "bad" areas, or places where you just don't feel right...

ALWAYS (should no matter where you are, really) lock your vehicle when going from one side to the other.

NEVER leave your children unattended, even to return a cart. You can't see/hear as well as you think you can.

NEVER park next to a van (like the big ones with little windows. It's pretty easy to get snatched into one of those.

Survey under and around your vehicle before approaching or getting in.

Park in well-lit areas, around lots of people.

Leave buildings with other people who headed the same direction you are. You know...if you feel creepy, linger in the gas station until the next person leaves and then go out.

And, simply, just PAY ATTENTION.

(of course, there are lots more...)


----------



## StoriesInTheSoil (May 8, 2008)

I've been thinking about this a LOT! I always wonder what I'd do if approached in a threatening way while putting DS in his seat at night (or in the daytime..) so now I get in the backseat holding him and use the remote lock to lock the doors and put him in his seat. Not much room but better than being caught with the door open and the kid not strapped in. Then I walk around and push unlock right as I get to my door. I have always locked the doors first thing when getting in the driver's seat because my parents always did that too







.


----------



## just_lily (Feb 29, 2008)

Wow, I can't say that I have ever felt this way. I have to say that my first thought is to not go to any of these threatening places. We live in a small town in Canada though, so maybe I just don't get it?


----------



## MrsRefney (Jan 3, 2009)

I do not go to *threatening* places. I'm talking about just to the local walmart. anywhere.

gah. Now I feel like a horrible mother because I leave the house with my child.

You mean to tell me NO ONE thinks about this stuff?


----------



## gcgirl (Apr 3, 2007)

Oh good, I'm not the only one who's had these thoughts!


----------



## Pumpkin_Pie (Oct 10, 2006)

If her seat is in the middle of the back seat, can you unlock just the back door, hop in with her on your lap, close and lock the door, and then put her in her seat? I have done that a few times with DS when I am feeling particularly unsafe. You could also put her seat behind the passenger seat and then you would have plenty of room to jump in the back with her and lock the car while you put her in her seat.


----------



## Alison's Mom (May 3, 2007)

I've felt like this a few times when I've been out with the kids in the dark. I don't usually have them with me when it's dark out and in any sort of grocery store parking lots, usually it's just my parents' house.

However, if I were to feel unsafe in this situation, I would put both kids and myself into the car via one door and lock it quickly from the inside, then put them into their seats (both sides of the back seat) from the unoccupied middle seat, then climb through to the front.

I have the advantage of having an empty middle seat, a slightly taller vehicle and being a small and somewhat flexible person. Not sure what to suggest if someone didn't have these factors going for them. . .

The advice given by a pp about not parking next to a van, etc, is good, and also looking under your car and into your backseat every time you get into your car. There's a longer list somewhere that gets emailed around, but I don't have it right now.

When I took a women's self defence course a few years ago, the instructor told us about an experience she'd had in a parking lot - she was living in Alaska at the time. She walked with her two small boys to their car and wasn't paying attention to her surroundings. While she was buckling them in, one boy suddenly looked so freaked out. She turned around and there was a man standing right behind her. She turned and screamed at him very loudly and got into her karate stance with her hand right in his face. He turned and ran. To this day, she doesn't know if his intention was to hurt, or to ask for a quarter for a shopping cart, but she just knows her kids are safe. Yikes - these stories really freak me out.


----------



## Ammaarah (May 21, 2005)

I think it's very smart to be aware of your surroundings and the people around you, and to be alert. I've had the same concerns myself, even though I live in a fairly low-crime area. Don't let anyone tell you it's paranoia. It's self-preservation.

I always get in the car if I'm alone, kind of stand sideways and tighten the straps. It's a tight fit (I'm not a small woman) but it works.


----------



## IlluminatedAttic (Aug 25, 2006)

If I'm in an area where I anticipate feeling this way I will move the drivers seat all the way forward when getting out. This way when we return to the car later I have room to sit in the back seat with the door closed and locked while putting ds in his seat.


----------



## taramoon13 (Apr 17, 2008)

wow, i've never even thought about this, i just like to be aware of my surroundings and leave it at that. i guess i probably wouldn't be driving somewhere that was THAT dangerous to begin with let alone with my child. guess my idea of dangerous is not the same as someone elses! one thing i definitely wouldn't do is lock my child in the car with me on the outside!







: my locks have failed before ( not with my child inside) and with everything operating electronically nowadays i don't think i'd put all of my faith in them. i can't even imagine where i'd have to be that it would be so bad that i'd be scared to walk to the other car door.i also think people sense paranoia.


----------



## Dabble (Jun 14, 2007)

I agree that you are not being paranoid. Strapping your child into the car seat means putting yourself in a very vulnerable position, and if there is someone looking to take advantage, they wait until you are are the most vulnerable.

This is yet another reason I LOVE my minivan! If I am in a place where I feel uncomfortable, I can have my toddler climb in on the baby's side while I drop baby's carrier into the base and close the door. Then I can climb in the front, lock all the doors and walk through the van to the second row to buckle my toddler in.

Before I had my van, in those uncomfortable situations, I would have my toddler climb into his FF seat while I stood by the door looking around. Remember that a predator would prefer not to be seen, and vigilant prey is no prey at all. Then I would sit on the seat backwards with my legs out the door, so I was facing DS and could buckle him in. (His seat was in the center of the car, I hope this is making sense.) Still not ideal, you have a door hanging open, but it's a more vigilant, ready-for-action position than being exposed from the back and not being able to see someone approaching.

I had one situation in a parking garage after dark where I was legitimately frightened for our safety, and I just set him on the back seat next to his car seat, quickly got in front and locked all the doors. Then I instructed him to climb into his car seat, leaned my front car seat back so I could reach him better and buckled him up that way.


----------



## StoriesInTheSoil (May 8, 2008)

What I said in my earlier post about getting in the car with him and locking the doors is what I do ANYTIME I'm alone with him at night.

I'm not always necessarily worried for our safety, I just like to be safe and feel secure.

Also, people are saying some almost patronizing things about not travelling to dangerous areas with your LOs. First of all, I'm sure there are MDC mamas with money troubles who have no choice in the matter so that is not very sensitive to them and their needs. Also, I don't take my son anywhere that I feel is a particularly unsafe or bad area but people, especially women alone or with small children are attacked EVERYWHERE and EVERY DAY. I just read Gavin De Becker's books and the statistics alone make me feel like what I am dong to make my child and myself feel safe at night even if we're in the private university's circle drive or the health food store parking lot. I'd rather feel safe now than regret it as we're being kidnapped


----------



## Ironica (Sep 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *just_lily* 
Wow, I can't say that I have ever felt this way. I have to say that my first thought is to not go to any of these threatening places. We live in a small town in Canada though, so maybe I just don't get it?

I'm in the second largest city in the US, and I can't say as I've ever felt this way either. But then, I just don't tend to be afraid of people. OTOH, it seems like my alarm bells about *particular* people are much louder than others I know... so maybe it's just that I don't feel the general suspicion because my instincts tend to alert me if there's an issue.

But as for the particulars... has your 18-month-old outgrown the BV rear-facing? If it was still rear-facing, she could climb in by herself while you stand next to the car door, then you get in, close the door, lock it, buckle her, and go around to the driver's seat. With the seat FF, she can't climb in because she can't lean against the back of the car's seat for support as she climbs over the edge.


----------



## taramoon13 (Apr 17, 2008)

speaking for myself i was absolutely not being insensitive to anyone who has to live in a less than desirable neighborhood. i've done it plenty myself. all i was getting at was that even when i've been in dangerous areas i don't regularly see people standing around waiting to kidnap me and my child. besides the obvious point that predators could be anywhere. it's actually ironic that you'd assume that because it's a poor area that there would be predators there. in fact, the few kidnappings i ever hear about are usually at shopping malls,etc.


----------



## AndrewsMother (Jul 30, 2007)

I never felt afraid until I moved to Houston, TX. I don't feel safe here so I rarely go out alone at night and I only go to areas that others would consider safe. When I am worried, DS and I enter the car on the front passengers side, I lock the doors and have him walk through to the back seat. I then turn around and strap him into his car seat.


----------



## filiadeluna (Oct 2, 2007)

: I shouldn't have read this thread. Now there's something else to be paranoid about. *eek*


----------



## soxthecatrules (Oct 20, 2008)

My biggest dilemma is...."which child do you put in the van first?"

Usually I put DD in first b/c she's tiny and my thought is that some lunatic would be more apt to steal her b/c they want a baby. I don't know if my reasoning is correct or not. But, my children ALWAYS go in before anything I have purchased. sigh....It's really sad that we all have to think and worry about something like this.


----------



## bscal (Feb 13, 2006)

I am so thankful for my minivan after reading this thread!

We live near a rather large metro area with quite a bit of crime. I stopped watching the news when my oldest DD was born. There are often stories of children kidnapped or cars stolen with babies inside. I just cannot hear those stories, it's too upsetting.

So I have the passenger side captain's chair folded down into the floor (love Stow and Go). When I'm out with the kids (which is pretty much always!) all of us enter from the passenger side. The 2 girls climb into the car themselves, I put DS in. Then I get in and shut and lock the door behind me. I buckle the 2 LOs in, older DD does her own and then I check it. It takes time to get everyone properly buckled in to their seats. It's also really handy if it's raining!

Honestly, I think it's a good idea to be aware of your surroundings and be cautious. Now if you were sitting at home with your LO afraid to leave the house for fear that he'd be kidnapping then perhaps it's time to seek counseling. I know because I had those thoughts and fears. I have anxiety and panic attacks.

Beth


----------



## UberMama (Feb 27, 2007)

Now that my kids are older (4, 6 and 6 anyway), they all get in their seats and then I get in the van, shut the sliding door, lock it and then strap them all in. I then exit out of the sliding door again or I climb into the front seat.

When they were younger, I'd get my twins to climb into their seats first, pop in DD's seat into the base and then strap the twins in.

When the twins were younger and out of infant seats but RF still, one would be in a sling on me - the other I'd strap in. I'd never ever leave them in a grocery cart, even when they were older and no longer wanted to be in the sling. I'd pick them both up and get them in the van at the same time.

When my twins were both in infant seats, we had a four door car at that time - I'd open the back door, have one infant seat between the car and myself on the ground (both legs on each end of the seat, so you couldn't easily grab it from between my legs nor on either end of it) and pop the other infant seat into the base.

I almost always put my purse down between the seats once entering my van or underneath of a seat. I put my keys in my pants pocket and if no pockets in my pants, I put the ring of the keys around my middle finger on my left hand.

While I admit to being cautious, I'll admit to being slightly paranoid as well. Heck, even walking somewhere, I put my keys between my fingers (pointing out). So if someone came up to me, if I thought about it (hard to say if I would), I could hit them with my fist just about anywhere and have the pretty sharp ends of the keys jab them if not stab them.


----------



## tpintsch (Jun 26, 2008)

You know? I've just never thought like this. I live in a low crime, semi-rural area and I've just never been paranoid or scared of this sort of thing. I suppose I should be more watchful. I just don't want to make my kids afraid by acting scared all the time. I think its good to be careful and do things like making sure that you lock the doors if your kids are inside and your returning a cart, or making sure the car isn't running with them inside. But how do your kids react? Do they get scared?


----------



## Dabble (Jun 14, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tpintsch* 
You know? I've just never thought like this. I live in a low crime, semi-rural area and I've just never been paranoid or scared of this sort of thing. I suppose I should be more watchful. I just don't want to make my kids afraid by acting scared all the time. I think its good to be careful and do things like making sure that you lock the doors if your kids are inside and your returning a cart, or making sure the car isn't running with them inside. But how do your kids react? Do they get scared?

Being vigilant isn't the same as being scared. It has never frightened my children to see me being watchful and aware, why would it? It's just generally just a smart, proactive way of behaving, it doesn't have anything to do with fear or paranoia.


----------



## Novella (Nov 8, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *taramoon13* 
speaking for myself i was absolutely not being insensitive to anyone who has to live in a less than desirable neighborhood. i've done it plenty myself. all i was getting at was that even when i've been in dangerous areas i don't regularly see people standing around waiting to kidnap me and my child. besides the obvious point that predators could be anywhere. it's actually ironic that you'd assume that because it's a poor area that there would be predators there. in fact, the few kidnappings i ever hear about are usually at shopping malls,etc.

Excellent point.

These sorts of topics bewilder and frighten me. To live being so "vigilant" (ie. afraid) of the possibilities of every moment in a parking lot, one likely applies those same characteristics to her actions in many, many other situations. Wow. Sounds like a pretty encumbered way to live life.

Makes me think of those "threat level" message boards that I've heard they have on some US freeways. I'm sure some of you live near them. "Be somewhat afraid today. . . Be very afraid _today_. . ." Oh goodie, yanking my emotional change about a completely unidentified threat I can take no reasonable action against is going to improve my standard of living!


----------



## beatnikbean (Aug 27, 2004)

I always assume the worst. I live in a fantastic low crime area, but I always plan as if something bad could happen. A lot of horrible crimes happen in small towns, and places where people feel the safest. As soon as you let your guard down, that is when somebody can strike.

Maybe I watch too much Oprah, but I definitely watch my back while buckling the kiddos. I can't wait until my 2nd DS is capable of buckling himself safely. He can do it, but I always have to double check because it isn't always right.


----------



## Dabble (Jun 14, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Novella* 
These sorts of topics bewilder and frighten me. To live being so "vigilant" (ie. afraid) of the possibilities of every moment in a parking lot, one likely applies those same characteristics to her actions in many, many other situations. Wow. Sounds like a pretty encumbered way to live life.

I don't know where the idea comes from that vigilant equals afraid. It absolutely doesn't. Feeling alert and prepared is a stress-reliever for me. It's not looking around in wide-eyed fear like a panicked animal. It's the confident gaze and proud-shouldered stance of a lioness that tells _everything_ in her gaze *I'm watching, don't try anything*.

Maybe it comes more easily to some than others, and for some people that would be a stressful way of acting, but I would get far more stress out of being taken by surprise or suddenly finding myself in a vulnerable position because of my own inattentiveness. Finding my children vulnerable because of my lack of vigilance would be absolutely unacceptable.

My approach to being ever-aware of my surroundings once kept a small child from being backed over in a parking lot while her mother loaded bags in the trunk. The mother had told her to climb into her seat, but had left the door hanging open while she loaded the shopping and the girl simply hopped right back out and stood behind the truck parked in the next space, watching her mom load the trunk. She was utterly invisible to the driver, and the mother thought she was in the car so didn't pay any attention as the truck started backing. I was at my own car door, and saw the situation start to play out. I shouted out to the mother and she looked up in confusion, saw me pointing, and grabbed her little girl out of the way. She was in tears, shaking and near hysteria as she thanked me for seeing across the lot what she didn't see right beside her.

In my view, you can save yourself the horrendous stress of a potential tragedy by controlling what you can. Be aware, but not afraid. This message is underlined time and again in Gavin De Becker's book Protecting the Gift, which I recommend to anyone interested in keeping their children safe in a rational, proactive way.


----------



## hipmummy (May 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tinyactsofcharity* 
What I said in my earlier post about getting in the car with him and locking the doors is what I do ANYTIME I'm alone with him at night.

I'm not always necessarily worried for our safety, I just like to be safe and feel secure.

Also, people are saying some almost patronizing things about not travelling to dangerous areas with your LOs. First of all, I'm sure there are MDC mamas with money troubles who have no choice in the matter so that is not very sensitive to them and their needs. Also, I don't take my son anywhere that I feel is a particularly unsafe or bad area but people, especially women alone or with small children are attacked EVERYWHERE and EVERY DAY. I just read Gavin De Becker's books and the statistics alone make me feel like what I am dong to make my child and myself feel safe at night even if we're in the private university's circle drive or the health food store parking lot. I'd rather feel safe now than regret it as we're being kidnapped









You are normal being concerned and you do worry about what others say. Not everyone can afford to live in "Perfectville", heck I live in a very exclusive neighborhood in a very wealthy town...but the town one over has a higher crime rate than Boston.
Here is what you do..get in theback seat and lock your car doors ASAP (use the remote). Put your child in the carseat and check your surrounding before unlocking the doors. then get back in the front seat and lock the doors again. Very Simple. If I ever feel threatened I climb through to the front. Granted I am very small, but my car is too. I have been in the city a few times where it as not an option to get back out ie traffic was relentless.


----------



## mom2tristan04 (Mar 1, 2006)

I've always wondered if I was the only one who felt this way! I don't live in fear over it by any means, but I do feel vulnerable when I'm putting ds in his seat at nighttime. We don't live in a bad part of town, but we do live just down the street from a gas station, and it tends to attract some iffy people that wander down the alley behind our house (where our car is parked).

I rarely drive alone at night, because my night vision is awful, but when I do go somewhere, I don't park far away from other cars -- I try to stick to the well-lit front part of parking spaces where I'd be fairly visable to people going into and leaving the store. It's not something I obsess about, but I do try to be smart about being aware of my surroundings.


----------



## tpintsch (Jun 26, 2008)

Just some stats here

Quote:

According to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (citing U.S. Department of Justice reports), nearly 800,000 children are reported missing each year. That's more than 2,000 a day.

Despite these huge numbers, very few children are victims of the kinds of crimes that so-often lead local and national news reports. According to NCMEC, just 115 children are the victims of what most people think of as "stereotypical" kidnapping.

Of these 115 incidents, 57 percent ended with the return of the child. The other 43 percent had a less happy outcome
http://www.cnn.com/CNN/Programs/ande...tatistics.html

I think we live in a culture of fear because of the stories presented in the media. I do watch out for my safety and my the safety of my children, but locking yourself in the car to buckle a child in a car seat seems extreme. IMHO.


----------



## AndrewsMother (Jul 30, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tpintsch* 
Just some stats here

http://www.cnn.com/CNN/Programs/ande...tatistics.html

I think we live in a culture of fear because of the stories presented in the media. I do watch out for my safety and my the safety of my children, *but locking yourself in the car to buckle a child in a car seat seems extreme. IMHO*.

I felt the exact same until I moved to a city that does not feel safe to me. I use to walk and shop at night with my DS before we moved. Now my intuition is always alerting me to some danger. I have never lived in fear of anything but God, but now that is different. I don't even feel safe in this city during daylight hours.

I rarely watch the local news and I don't read the city paper, so I know that I am not swayed by media. I can't explain the change, but I just don't feel safe. I have visited other cities since moving here and my fear subsides when I am away, but the moment I return I feel the sense of fear and a desire to be vigilant and aware of my surroundings. It might sound strange and extreme, but I listen to my intuition.

Kidnapping does not even cross my mind, just some evil minded person robbing me or causing physical harm.


----------



## tpintsch (Jun 26, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AndrewsMother* 
I felt the exact same until I moved to a city that does not feel safe to me. I use to walk and shop at night with my DS before we moved. Now my intuition is always alerting me to some danger. I have never lived in fear of anything but God, but now that is different. I don't even feel safe in this city during daylight hours.

I rarely watch the local news and I don't read the city paper, so I know that I am not swayed by media. I can't explain the change, but I just don't feel safe. I have visited other cities since moving here and my fear subsides when I am away, but the moment I return I feel the sense of fear and a desire to be vigilant and aware of my surroundings. It might sound strange and extreme, but I listen to my intuition.

Kidnapping does not even cross my mind, just some evil minded person robbing me or causing physical harm.









That's got to be so tough. I can't imagine feeling so unsafe all the time. I feel lucky to live were I do. I take it for granted most of the time.


----------



## paquerette (Oct 16, 2004)

I guess it's all perspective. I'm in NEPA too and I'd consider it a high crime area. But most of the crime tends to be "money making," drug dealing or robbery or whatnot, and most of that non-violent. So I'd say the biggest threat is someone who wants to steal my car and gets me and/or my children accidentally. But I don't exactly sit up nights worrying about it. I'm probably in more danger from inhaling all that wonderful "worst city in the country for asthma" aroma when I go to town than random crime sprees. Oh, the banks and convenience stores seem to be pretty heavy targets lately but I tend to stay out of those anyway.


----------



## Pumpkin_Pie (Oct 10, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tpintsch* 
Just some stats here

http://www.cnn.com/CNN/Programs/ande...tatistics.html

I think we live in a culture of fear because of the stories presented in the media. I do watch out for my safety and my the safety of my children, but locking yourself in the car to buckle a child in a car seat seems extreme. IMHO.

If locking myself in my car to buckle my child in while I am sitting in a parking lot after dark surrounded by cars that I cannot see into, and very few or no people around that would help if I screamed, then count me in as an extreme mama. I am completely 100% ok with people thinking I am a nut case if it keeps me and my son safe, and gives me peace of mind while I buckle him in. I would MUCH rather be seen as a crazy mama than dead or worse, with a injured or dead child.

I agree that we live in a culture of fear that we need to address, but I am not willing to leave my backside exposed in the night in order to do so. Just isn't going to happen. Where I live, it gets dark starting at 4pm in the winter, and I am a single mom. I can't leave my child home when I need to go to the store, and I am not going to stay home every single day after 4 in order to stay safe. I also will not feel the least bit guilty about locking us in the car in order to keep us safe.

OP, I hope you found a solution, and please don't feel like you are the only one to think about things like this!


----------



## lizajane30 (Mar 19, 2005)

Don't have much new to say re: getting in the car after dark (love my Ody!), but wanted to say that I've been told to ALWAYS put groceries in the car before your kids, because if someone took your car with your groceries that's a far cry better than them taking your car with your kids, leaving you screaming next to a cart full of groceries. Of course, this is assuming they want your car, and not that they want to hurt you/kidnap your kids/whatever. I grew up in a place where carjacking was a big thing.


----------



## lovingmommyhood (Jul 28, 2006)

I've felt this way before too.


----------



## Elizabeth2008 (Nov 26, 2008)

I'm a single mom so I am always getting my DS in and out the car seat on my own. I have felt this way occasionally, usually only at night if I'm in a more isolated area, or sometimes in our garage (drive in and have to leave the garage door open as we exit through it to walk to the apartment). I just try to look around well before I go to put him in to make sure there's no one lurking, then put him in quickly, hop in my seat, lock the doors and start the car. It's harder when they get older and they want to get in by themselves "without help!". Sometimes I just say, it's dark and mommy wants to hurry" and if he doesn't climb in quickly I hoist him in myself. I also try to plan not to be with him out at night if I'm going to have to park anywhere that is less than safe (like big parking garages or desolate streets, etc). I wouldn't worry if it's a well populated area during the day.


----------



## PassionateWriter (Feb 27, 2008)

its not just danger to my children that cause me pause when parking in a low lit area or after dark..its danger to myself. and crimes against WOMEN are very high in this country. we live in a low crime, semi rural (some would say rural but not really) area. when i say low crime, i mean...i cant remember when there was a crime in our area...other than a random break in or something that doesnt even make the news. our area is VERY SAFE. However, no area is perfectly safe and i do think its wise to watch out for yourself and your children when in vulnerable situations.

i dont live in fear...i am just aware of my surroundings. all the time.

when i used to have normal keys (does anyone anymore)...i used to hold 2 of the keys between my fingers (the keys sticking out) when walking at night alone. if one is attacked, you can use that to poke at eyes (no advocating violence, just self defense).

i think it is very wise to be aware of when you are vulnerable. my 3 yo and 3 month old are both RF'ing in my car. i usually have my 3 yo hop in his seat, i put the 3 month old in, and then go back and adjust the 3 yo's straps. still takes a bit of time though.

OP, if you put your 18 month old back RF'ing it would probably be easier to get into the back seat and secure her. also safer for her.


----------



## paquerette (Oct 16, 2004)

Just wanted to show this to the other NEPA mom: attempted carjacking in Steamtown Mall parking garage This was in broad daylight Friday afternoon. I have been in and out of that parking garage so many times and never would have thought of it as an unsafe place; there's a police substation and security patrols constantly for goodness sake!


----------

