# How old is *too old*?



## Kathryn (Oct 19, 2004)

I'm just kind of curious what your different opinions on this are. I asked my hubby what he thought (keep in mind that he was ff and never met anyone who'd bf before). He said he thinks once they start talking in full sentences they're too old to be nursing. He made it very clear that that doesn't mean they shouldn't be nursing anymore, he just thinks that by that time they're too old in his mind.








I don't really know how old is too old in my opinion. I can see nursing a 4 or 5 year old, but I don't know about like a 8 year old. What's that magic age when it's _not_ okay anymore? Is there an age? What if your child wants to nurse into his/her teens? Would you let them?


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## SagMom (Jan 15, 2002)

Way back before I had children, when I knew everything







this was often a topic of conversation among co-workers. Everyone seemed to have an opinion about what spot in time was "too old." Some said "When they have teeth," "When they can ask for it," When they can walk over and pull up your shirt," "When they get that look in their eye," etc. etc.

I nursed past all of that. I used to think toddlers were too old to nurse, but I've nursed all of mine into (some through) toddlerhood. I don't know what my limit is now -- I probably don't have one. It's just always seemed right to me to nurse my kids. Each one has weaned at a different age, and at an age that I assume was right for them.

It's impossible to imagine nursing my teen...but then it's also impossible to imagine carrying him around in a sling nowadays.







It's so far removed from what he'd want right now. But, have you read Milk, Money and Madness? there are some cultures mentioned there where nursing the elderly is customary.


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## stafl (Jul 1, 2002)

this is potentially a very offensive question to many of us here at MDC. At least those of us who believe in child led weaning. The notion of a teen-aged child still nursing is just ludicrous. It's not an issue. Children stop nursing when they don't need it anymore. I believe in meeting my children's needs. Nursing beyond "complete sentences" just happens to be one of them.
My oldest DD said her first complex sentence, "I want my Daddy," at 11 months, but wasn't eating much in the way of solids until 14 months! She is still nursing at 3.5 years, but not every day. I can just imagine the trauma she would have experienced had I even attempted to wean her before she was eating more than a bite or two of solid food in any given day!


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## DaryLLL (Aug 12, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *stafl*
this is potentially a very offensive question to many of us here at MDC. At least those of us who believe in child led weaning. The notion of a teen-aged child still nursing is just ludicrous. It's not an issue.









Yes. Defintion of a "straw man" argument.

A child should be bfed until he outgrows the need.


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## Kathryn (Oct 19, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *stafl*
this is potentially a very offensive question to many of us here at MDC. At least those of us who believe in child led weaning. The notion of a teen-aged child still nursing is just ludicrous. It's not an issue. Children stop nursing when they don't need it anymore. I believe in meeting my children's needs. Nursing beyond "complete sentences" just happens to be one of them.
My oldest DD said her first complex sentence, "I want my Daddy," at 11 months, but wasn't eating much in the way of solids until 14 months! She is still nursing at 3.5 years, but not every day. I can just imagine the trauma she would have experienced had I even attempted to wean her before she was eating more than a bite or two of solid food in any given day!









Oh yes, I believe in CLW as well. I know children will stop when they don't need it anymore, but the question popped into my head because I was watching Dr. Phill a while back and there was a mother on there that was still nursing her 5 and 7 year old and wanted to stop. My question is basically, if they want to nurse that long, would you be comfortable with it? I'm not sure if _I_ would be comfortable nursing a 7 year old, but that's just me.
I would *never* wean my child on my account. It has to be all her.


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## SEEPAE (Feb 18, 2004)

I believe the age where they are too old is when _they_ think they are too old


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## Kathryn (Oct 19, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DaryLLL*
Yes. Defintion of a "straw man" argument.

A child should be bfed until he outgrows the need.

So, you would bf the 7 year old I'm speaking about in my past post? I've been sexually molested and I think nursing at 7 or 8 would really bother me. I just wonder how much longer the child would've nursed if her mom hadn't weaned her.


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## Kathryn (Oct 19, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SEEPAE*
I believe the age where they are too old is when _they_ think they are too old









Very true. Hopefully my children won't want to grow up very fast. I want to nurse them for a long time to come.


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## terrarose (Dec 2, 2004)

This is an interesting topic! I don't know anybody personally who has nursed longer than 8 years. In our culture, I might wonder if a 10 year old was nursing if their were other needs not being met but on the other hand maybe not. I believe in trusting your child and child lead weaning so if that's where they were so be it! My last aby just weaned himself at 3 which is much younger than I expected given his health problems! It's really an individual relationship between a child and mothers but I do see that certain cultures would facilitate longer nursing relationships- dc wouldn't get the comments, ect...Just re-reading the other posts and I wanted to add that I might encourage weaning on my account if I needed it-keep in mind that I'm probably talking about a 7yo here, not younger. I would do it genltly, and with love and only if I couldn't find away around it in my mind but I beleive that the nursing relationship involves 2 people and both their needs have to be taken into account, I fully realize that as an adult, you can extended yourself more than a kid. I just don't think that martyrdom is a gift to kids. I realize that others might disagree with me here and that's ok. This is just my feelings-we each find our own answers!


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## Ruby Pearl (Dec 18, 2004)

When you look down one day and feel very awkward about the sight of such a big head at your breast, then your child may be too old. This was why we weaned at 4 years old.


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## SEEPAE (Feb 18, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kathryn*
if they want to nurse that long, would you be comfortable with it?

I think I would.
When DS was 3 months old I was shocked that so many people I talked to nursed 2 year olds and older!! It totally freaked me out, but I was so naive and such a new mom. When he was 3months I planned to breastfeed past a year but the thought of it still scared me, over time I learned so much and there is totally nothing scary about it.
Now he is 18months and I LOVE BFing and I look back at how STUPID I was coming to conclusions. I look forward to whatever he decides


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## SEEPAE (Feb 18, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kathryn*
So, you would bf the 7 year old I'm speaking about in my past post? I've been sexually molested and I think nursing at 7 or 8 would really bother me. I just wonder how much longer the child would've nursed if her mom hadn't weaned her.

I understand that, I was molested on many occasions ranging from a toddler until just 2 years ago. I havent let it affect my mothering skills. I dont even make a connection or think about it, but thats me, I am able to seperate them completely


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## Lucky (Nov 14, 2004)

I'd say "too old" is for every mom and nursling to decide freely and independently of everyone else's opinion.


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## Sustainer (Sep 26, 2002)

No, there is no magical cut-off age. Each child weans when s/he is ready. I am totally comfortable with CLW, no matter what age my children wean at... 7... 10... whatever. I've never heard of a child nursing into her/his teens.

Oh, and I was sexually molested, too.


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## zo's ma (Mar 4, 2003)

My almost 6 y/o still asks to nurse...he nursed every night until about 3m ago. I didn't mind laying with him BUT when he wanted to crawl up in my lap and nurse I did feel a bit weird


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

I think there are two different questions being answered here:

1) How old is too old?
2) How old is too old for you?

I think the first has no place on MDC. As a site supporting child-led weaning, there can be no societal definition of how old is too old. While I did not nurse DD until 7-8, I definatley went over these:

Quote:

He said he thinks once they start talking in full sentences they're too old to be nursing.

Quote:

When you look down one day and feel very awkward about the sight of such a big head at your breast, then your child may be too old. This was why we weaned at 4 years old.
As long as you clarify that that is *your* personal preference, so be it. DS's best friend is 2.5, 55 plbs and HUGE. Perception of size does not necessitate weaning, though.

I have no idea what my upper limit is. I know I did not reach it with DD and I have yet to reach it with DS. I know it has grown with both time and my children. As for my limit for *others* in a healthy, loving parental relationship, I have absolutely none.

Kay


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## Kathryn (Oct 19, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TiredX2*

2) How old is too old for you?


This is what I was asking. I tried to show that by showing what I felt vs what my husband felt. I obviously (by others responses), did a very bad job.


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

But, are you asking how old is too old for me to nurse, or how old I consider "too old" for anyone to nurse?


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## Kathryn (Oct 19, 2004)

For you. I don't really know my limit because I haven't reached it yet. I'm not even sure my dd will even get close to reaching it. In just thinking about it though (to me) it would be weird to me to nurse a 7 or 8 year old. BUT, I've never had the experience. I'm hoping that I'm close enough with my children that things like that won't seem weird. I really think it's just a closer cuddling. I think my issue stems from my childhood when I would get spanked for being naked and I was cold turkey weaned on my first birthday.


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

My own personal limit is five. I'm not comfortable with the idea of nursing my kids after they turn five. It just doesn't work for me. Right now, I'm nursing a 4 year old and a 16 month old.


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## Pam_and_Abigail (Dec 2, 2002)

I'm not so sure I understand why this is such an offensive question, my understanding was that the OP was wondering IF there was a magical cut-off age, but it has been made clear that it is different for everyone. The question posed about teens is one that has crossed my mind. My dd is almost 2 1/2 and we are doing clw, but there was a time I didn't know if we'd make it to 6 months, and I couldn't even conceive of nursing a toddler. Now that I'm here it's not weird to me, so if that kind of change can occur, isn't it possible the same change could occur later on to make it seem ok to be nursing a much older child? To those with younger nurslings still adjusting to the idea of nursing toddlers, it may seem just as strange to think of an 8 year old nursing.
I have never heard about nursing elderly, but I always wondered, especially when my grandmother got leukiemia, and I wondered if my bm could help her rebuild her blood.


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

Well, I'm sure you will get slightly different answers then.

Way before DD I thought basically any "extended" nursing was too much. The first LLL I went to with preschoolers nursing I was confident *I* would never be like that.

After reading up on it, I decided I would nurse DD at least two years (of course, at two she would be nursing what maybe 5 minutes a day and then happily self-wean by 25 months). IRL, we night weaned for 4-5 hours at 25 months







:LOL I tandem nursed her until DS was 18 months and she weaned at 50 months. I had been ready for a long time, but it was still very sad for me, but I think it was the best for DD.

It was especially funny for me to consider the arbitrary limits people place on nursing (walking, talking, teeth, etc...) as my child started reading chapter books and was still nursing.

DS is now 39 months (40 months tomorrow!!!) and very much a baby. I have no need to wean him, but if he were to decide comfortably and happily he was done, I would be as well. Not that I see *that* happening any time soon. I look at DD (6 on Sunday) and while she seems very large to nurse, there are so many behaviours I see in her that could be calmed, or helped by nursing, I don't consider her "too old" at all. But, *she* is done, so that is that.


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## velcromom (Sep 23, 2003)

There is no such thing as too old if the child is being allowed to decide for themselves when to wean - they will do so when they are ready.

But every mom has her own feelings about how long they are willing to nurse; most of us are affected to some degree by cultural views - if there were no cultural pressure against breastfeeding and natural weaning, no one would even think to ask this kind of question. It would be like asking, how old is too old to hug your child? In a culture that had no taboos about hugging it would be an irrelevant question.

I do think that there are natural developments during the nursing relationship that can lead a nursing pair toward weaning, that have nothing to do with culture, but it all gets so mixed up that it may really not be separable from how we are affected by family/friends/society in general.

As for me personally, I think I'll start to have to actively resist feeling the weight of cultural disapproval when ds is ready for preschool if he's still nursing then, and I also may be ttc around that time too. So I am not ruling out the possibility that I may decide to try influencing his nursing frequency at that point. I still want to let him choose when he quits altogether, I think I'll be comfortable with bedtime and morning nursing for as long as he wants to continue.


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## mountain mom (Nov 6, 2003)

I can only offer my own experience with this.

DD is now three and so far the breastfeeding experience has been highly intuitive on both of our parts. I am providing her with the tools she will need to a confident, self aware person in life. Part of that is breastfeeding her until she feels confident to leave the breast.

If I was to interupt this by prematurely encouraging her to wean, I think it would interfere with her building of self confidence and self awareness.

One day at a time is my motto.


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## mother_sunshine (Nov 25, 2001)

If you would have asked me this question when dd was a baby then my answer would have been different because I have since learned and grown and formed new more-informed and experienced opinions and insight along the way. As a wise friend (







) says, dd has taught me along the way how to be a parent. Our children teach us what is right for them. It is up to us to trust and listen.

There is *no cut-off age*. I breastfed my dd until she self-weaned. It felt every bit as natural and normal at 7yrs as it did when she was a baby. I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that it was right. If she would have continued until whatever age, I would feel the same way.

Our society (and most other "developed societies"







) sexualize the breasts into something they are not. Breasts are not a sexual organ. They can be used as an erogenous zone just as any other non-sexual body part can, sure, but breastfeeding has no part of it. So the misconception of breastfeeding as suddenly becoming a sexual act when the child turns X age is a huge misconception full of ignorance and misunderstanding. It is every bit as natural at X years than it was at X months, kwim? It is foolish of people to say that breastfeeding is so healthy for a child of 1 or 2 but then turn around and say that it is detrimental for a child of X yrs.

I have never heard of a teenager breastfeeding but if I did then I wouldn't think anything of it. So what. So they are getting milk from their mother instead of from a mother cow. And along with it they are getting emotional comfort. So what. I would say good for them for not confusing the breast as a sexual object solely for the purpose of a man. Good for them for trusting themselves and their needs. If they still need to nurse then they still need to nurse.

I have learned about groups of people breastfeeding on boats when coming to America. Conditions were so extreme and food was non-existent, illness was prevalent. They (adults and children alike) knew to breastfeed. It meant survival. I know that is an extreme example, but it makes the point that breastfeeding is just that, breastfeeding. It gives life, health and comfort. There are nothing but benefits, _regardless of the child's age_.

ETA: As far as I can tell, the OP's question was an honest open question as a new parent seeking what is right for her and her child. We have had our share of people coming into this forum to spread their ill-informed opinion and hurtful comments, but I honestly haven't seen that here. We all learn along the way. I am happy to share my experience. If someone wants to disagree with it then that is their choice, but I would hope for the same respect that I am giving them. Everyone's different.


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## slightly crunchy (Jul 7, 2003)

Well, I personally would not be comfortable, *for myself*, nursing an 8 year old. And probably some age a couple of years younger than that, but I'm not there yet, so I can't say for sure.

Also I think each relationship is individual. Even for the same mother, it may be different for each child, as far as what the mother is comfortable with. I didn't see the Dr. Phil show, but I can't believe it would be a great idea to continue nursing a preschool or older aged child who the mom really felt uncomfortable nursing most of the time. It seems that could be more confusing for the child than gently weaning, in that sort of instance.


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## flminivanmama (Nov 21, 2001)

I have no age limit. a child will stop nursing when they no longer need to nurse.


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## Unoppressed MAMA Q (Jun 13, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flminivanmama*
I have no age limit. a child will stop nursing when they no longer need to nurse.


ITA. but i have to say, when the 25 month old and the 16 month old get into their 'boobie wars'







:
....
sometimes i think that 25 months and 16 monhts sounds like a good age!...well, not really, but i do wish my child would not frantically demand to nurse every time i ROLL OVER in the family bed. it's not like she's ever been denied, whaddup...?








i'm way tired...


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## Raven (Dec 15, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mountain mom*
I can only offer my own experience with this.

DD is now three and so far the breastfeeding experience has been highly intuitive on both of our parts. I am providing her with the tools she will need to a confident, self aware person in life. Part of that is breastfeeding her until she feels confident to leave the breast.

If I was to interupt this by prematurely encouraging her to wean, I think it would interfere with her building of self confidence and self awareness.

One day at a time is my motto.









What a beautiful post! In my opinion breastfeeding is a VERY intuitive journey between the mother and child/ren. Just like my thoughts on birth - where I believe the mother instinctively knows how to give birth and the baby knows how to be born - it is a delicate and very sensitve process. There are many changes along the way and part of that process is being open and aware of the needs if the breastfed child involved. Am I making any sense?? I hope so becasue I feel very strongly about this.

In our society it is very difficult for a mother to place her instincts above the "norm" and even more difficult to give her child a voice. As AP'ers we aim to do just that and in my opinion it becomes difficult in situations where society says otherwise.... like in the case of extended breastfeeding (a silly term imo) and clw.

I say a healthy breastfeeding relationship incorporates the mother and the child as active and respected participants. The mother follows the cues of her child and she provides everything in her power to give her child what s/he needs - even when that means breastfeeding for as long as the child desires. It may mean that we need to learn to value and respect our children enough to truly believe they know what they need. I thing THAT right there is what a lot of ppl struggle with.


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## callmemama (May 7, 2002)

No age limit...although that opinion has evolved over the course of our nursing relationship. I never dreamed I would be nursing a 5 yo!


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## mama_kass (Jan 11, 2003)

I think the bf'ng relationship should continue as long as mother and child are BOTH happy with it. I think it's great to clw but if the mother is very unhappy and does it only because she wants to give her child the clw experience I believe it could be psycologically damaging or damaging to the relationship between mother and child.

I have no age limit. I weaned my first ds too young as a result of ignorance. With this ds and my future children I plan to take it as it comes. We'll stop whenever it's right for us. Today at 27 months we're hapy to nurse. Who knows five years we may still nurse or 3 years may be long enough.


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## [email protected] (May 31, 2004)

I am nursing mother of two bio children. my ds (who completed two years last fortnight) is regularly nursing and I intend to continue as long as he might like to. My view is that while no definite age can be prescribed even broadly for such a question, the right age would seem to be when the child loses interest in bf (being well used to other foods) and the mother would also feel satisfied that he not only does not need bf'ing but would also not miss it. The nourishment needs of a baby from bf'ing, I think, are over by one year or so and continuation beyond that age is mainly for emotional/ psychological purposes or as a matter of habit. Even this latter motive generally gets satiated by the age of 3-4; in some cases occasional bf'ing might continue even well thereafter. In one of these threads I once informed that my MIL (may her soul rest in peace) had told me that my DH occasionally asked her for favor of bf'ing even at the age of 8 years; she never denied him as she had milk due to his siblings. Some children even at school going age also sometimes seek "bf'ing" on getting emotionally disturbed even if it invoves dry feeding only. There are even cases, I am told (one I know) where a school going child "resumed" bf'ing due to special circumstances (and mothers do accommodate them). But such occasional and special- circumstances cases need not be mixed up with the issue under discussion.
Uzra


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## Sustainer (Sep 26, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *[email protected]*
The nourishment needs of a baby from bf'ing, I think, are over by one year or so and continuation beyond that age is mainly for emotional/ psychological purposes or as a matter of habit.

Actually, the nutritional benefits of breastfeeding last for as long as the breastfeeding relationship lasts. For one thing, a child's immune system is not fully developed until 6 or 7 years of age, and they depend on the immunities present in mother's milk until that time. Even if you don't consider the immunity factor, though, human breastmilk is still the healthiest food in existance for a child of any age.


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## Raven (Dec 15, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sustainer*
Actually, the nutritional benefits of breastfeeding last for as long as the breastfeeding relationship lasts. For one thing, a child's immune system is not fully developed until 6 or 7 years of age, and they depend on the immunities present in mother's milk until that time. Even if you don't consider the immunity factor, though, human breastmilk is still the healthiest food in existance for a child of any age.


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## NinaBruja (Jan 19, 2004)

when i found out i was pregnant i said im deffinitely going to breastfeed for a year









when i was nearing my due date i decided 2 years was good.

once i fought to breastfeed i said im not stopping till shes three!

at about 6 months i decided 5 was a good age...

at a year i decided 6 is awesome.

at 14 months im thinking 7 and 8 is wonderful...but i dont know if i could do it...
but i guess by that point you dont have to remind them not to bite :LOL
anything beyond 8 i think is highly unlikely but we'll cross that bridge when we get there.
i saw someones signature here that mentioned weaning her son at 7...i think thats the most awesome thing ive ever read


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## SagMom (Jan 15, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *[email protected]*
The nourishment needs of a baby from bf'ing, I think, are over by one year or so and continuation beyond that age is mainly for emotional/ psychological purposes or as a matter of habit. Even this latter motive generally gets satiated by the age of 3-4;

May I ask where your information comes from? Breastmilk doesn't suddenly loose its nutritional value when the child turns one, nor does a child stop benefiting from the emotional closeness of bfing at the age of 3-4.

This sounds like info from some parenting manuals I've seen, where the "experts" try and justify the cultural norms as having some scientific basis.


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## mother_sunshine (Nov 25, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Joan*
May I ask where your information comes from? Breastmilk doesn't suddenly loose its nutritional value when the child turns one, nor does a child stop benefiting from the emotional closeness of bfing at the age of 3-4.

This sounds like info from some parenting manuals I've seen, where the "experts" try and justify the cultural norms as having some scientific basis.











No offense, Uzra, but I completely agree with Joan. Too many "experts" mess with natural parenting. And too many mothers believe their illogical rationale instead of their own children as well as their very own instincts. That is why so many of us covet MDC because we remind each other that all that stuff is a bunch of bunk.


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## Peppamint (Oct 19, 2002)

When I was pregnant with dd, I couldn't imagine nursing a toddler. By the time she turned one, we were practicing CLW and she weaned at 20 months, earlier than I would have guessed. I was prepared to tandem nurse no less!

Now that I nursed dd for 20 months and now that my ds is 20 months and nursing strong... I can imagine nursing preschooler. It's hard for me to imagine nursing a 6+ year old, but I have never known anyone who did (at least they never said so). I've never nursed a child over two yet, so it's a bit of a jump for me. I think it's great that a mom is willing to continue to meet her child's needs.

I think there is no magic age. I'm all about CLW, but I'd rather a mom choose to initiate weaning at 18 months than to never nurse. KWIM? I just can't imagine weaning my ds... he'd never go for it. There is no gentle mother led weaning in this case!


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## [email protected] (May 31, 2004)

A few members have strongly reacted to my mention of around one year period by which time the 'nourishment needs' of the baby from bf are quite satisfied. When I stated this I had in my mind a notion of "criticality" of breastfeeding requiring an overwhelming dependence of the baby on mother's milk. I am painfully surprised that me, who is herself a staunch believer in respecting nature's precious gift for babies in the form of mother's milk, could be considered so naive to have meant that breastmilk 'suddenly' looses its nutritional value after one year. A certain member has curtly demanded authority for my (misunderstood) statement. Well in the sense now clarified by me, lots of expert medical analysis could be seen. To wit, may I randomly refer to the following:
ChildFun.com at http://children.com/breastfeeding/child.shtml
Fiona Giles - Secret Life of Breasts
At any rate, this is how I think and I intend to continue bf'ing my two bio children in tandem, a step daughter and a friend's baby occasionally and in times of need as long as I can do. Thanks for the attention.
Uzra


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## MamaAllNatural (Mar 10, 2004)

uzra hashmi, I'm sorry you feel hurt by the comments here. I know no harm was intended. I understood what you meant because you said it in the way that my aunt says it. She says that after a year it's not about the milk at all. She means that after a year the most important thing to the child about the continued breastfeeding is the bond with mother. She, like you, understands that all the benefits of breastmilk continue but she focuses on the importance of the child's need to nurse for emotional reasons.

I think it's important that some of the posters did point out that breastfeeding continues to give the child nutritional benefits as many mothers might not be willing to nurse after a year or two if it was only for emotional/bonding reasons.

I have always very much enjoyed your posts and appreciated your perspective on breastfeeding. Your voice is valued here and I hope you'll still feel comfortable reading and sharing with us.


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

Uzra---

I couldn't get that link to "work" (it went to a page, but nothing to do with bfeeding). That said:

Quote:

The nourishment needs of a baby from bf'ing, I think, are over by one year or so and continuation *beyond that age is mainly for emotional/ psychological purposes or as a matter of habit*. Even this latter motive generally gets satiated by the age of 3-4; in some cases occasional bf'ing might continue even well thereafter.
From what I have read, bmilk should be at least 75% of a child's calories at one year. It remains healthier at ALL ages than any other milk substitute and research by Kathryn Detwyler suggests that humans should naturally wean between 2.5 - 7 years.

As for the portion I put in bold--- not true with either of my children







Not biologically suggested









I am not meaning to suggest you are wrong or not somehow a member of the bfeeding cult (







:LOL) but rather to point out the importance of words. No one would suggest that simply because one food cannot meet all of, or the majority of, a child's nutritional needs that it is no longer necessary in the diet but *exactly* that thing is often suggested in regards to bmilk. Anyone following me here? :LOL Seems like bed time


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## loving-my-babies (Apr 2, 2004)

I think it'll be too old after my child is done and has decided himself he does not need to continue nursing anymore.


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## kavamamakava (Aug 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kathryn*
So, you would bf the 7 year old I'm speaking about in my past post? I've been sexually molested and I think nursing at 7 or 8 would really bother me. I just wonder how much longer the child would've nursed if her mom hadn't weaned her.

What would bother you? Nursing your 7 or 8 yr old child? Or do you think that a 7 or 8 yr old child might feel bothered if s/he nursed at that age?


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## SagMom (Jan 15, 2002)

Uzra, I'm sorry you took offense to my post, but I think you misunderstood my tone. I did not "curtly demand authority." I don't think that asking for documentation is out of line in these discussions. I'm a bit surprised that you'd think the statements you made would sit without anyone questioning them. I asked where you got this information because I was truely interested in seeing where this came from. (The link did not work for me either, btw, nor did a search for the article on that site.) I don't know you personally, so I have no way of knowing what you truely meant--I could only take your statements at face value.

There have been many times that people have come to these boards with info from their docs or family or friends indicating that babies don't "need" breastmilk after a year, or after 6 months or after 3 months, etc. and that info is used to support weaning. I've certainly challenged statements regarding this in the past, as I'd hate to see someone come here for support and read that breastmilk looses its nutitional value after a year.

I'm sorry, again, that you took my question as personal attack.


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## edamommy (Apr 6, 2004)

IMO--- 4years is my limit. I don't see any reason for a baby that's 4 or over to nurse.

MY GOD---- nursing a tween or a teen I think would be illegal?!?!


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## sg784 (Dec 19, 2004)

I think that showing up at a high school graduation to nurse would be too old.









Seriously though. I have pondered the same question. I know a lot of people who think that Im weird and "sick" for still nursing my 10 mo DD. ("isnt she a little big to be doing THAT") But I have never felt that way about anyone else and their baby regardless of how old. I think when the time is right we will both know and it will happen. kwim?

I hear "when are you going to wean that baby" so much lately and I just keep saying "whenever she wants too". Sadly enough I think I will cowardly back out of the argument in a yr. When DD is still nursing in a yr I dont think I will have the patience to defend myself anymore I will probably just say she is weaned.









I cant barely take the AP criticism now I cant imagine what it will be like a yr from now.


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## [email protected] (May 31, 2004)

MamaAllNatural and Joan,
I am completely undone by your kind words. Please accept my apologies If I have been rude. Perhaps I was unnecessarily carried away.
Uzra


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## DaryLLL (Aug 12, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sg784*
Seriously though. I have pondered the same question. I know a lot of people who think that Im weird and "sick" for still nursing my 10 mo DD...
I cant barely take the AP criticism now I cant imagine what it will be like a yr from now.

SG,

If you live in CT, a well-populated state full of educated people and are stiill surrounded by bfing naysayers, you need a new circle of friends. I highly recommend La Leche League.

Here is a list of LLL groups in CT:

http://www.lllusa.org/CT/CT.html


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## MamaAllNatural (Mar 10, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *vegiemom*
I don't see any reason for a baby that's 4 or over to nurse.

Then you might want to read the last "how old is too old" thread to educate yourself on the reasons. It's locked now but it's there somewhere and has all kinds of good info.


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## 3girlsmommy (Jun 19, 2003)

I haven't read all the responses here but I'll give you my 2 cents! LOL! Before I had my oldest dd I thought that anything beyond 6 months was gross. I had a friend that breastfed her ds until he was 18 months old and I thought she was kinda weird. Then I had my dd and my goal was set at 6 months but then 6 months came and there was no way I could wean her so then I decided one year would be the cutting off point because I wasn't going to be one of those freaks! LOL! Some where after 12 months I realized that there was no "right" age and I decided to let her lead the way, she self weaned at 3 years 2 months and 6 days. When it came right down to it she still need her momma juice and I wasn't going to stop her. I think that a child is too old when he or she no longer wants to breastfeed and it's different for each child and mom. For my oldest is was just over 3years, for my middle dd it was just under 3 years, who know how long the baby is going to breastfeed for. I don't see myself breastfeeding an 8 year old but if it works for some other mom/child pair then that's great! I think like w/ all things related to parenting you need to keep an open mind and do what works for you and your family. When you start judging others it always comes back to bite you in the butt!


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## mother_sunshine (Nov 25, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *vegiemom*
MY GOD---- nursing a tween or a teen I think would be illegal?!?!









Here at MDC there are mothers who are nursing or have nursed a "tween". Please keep an open mind.


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## mother_sunshine (Nov 25, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MamaAllNatural*
Then you might want to read the last "how old is too old" thread to educate yourself on the reasons. It's locked now but it's there somewhere and has all kinds of good info.









http://www.mothering.com/discussions...ead.php?t=3305


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## SagMom (Jan 15, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *vegiemom*
IMO--- 4years is my limit. I don't see any reason for a baby that's 4 or over to nurse.


They nurse for all the same reasons a child younger than 4 nurses. A four year old nurses for nutrition, for immunity, for comfort, and because "your milk tastes soooooooo yummy!" (or at least that's what my 4 yr old tells me.)


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## mother_sunshine (Nov 25, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Joan*
They nurse for all the same reasons a child younger than 4 nurses. A four year old nurses for nutrition, for immunity, for comfort, and because "your milk tastes soooooooo yummy!" (or at least that's what my 4 yr old tells me.)

:LOL









Dd always said that too.








She recently said, when reminiscing, that my milk was like sweets and health food all in one. "The sugar gives you that satisfaction for sweets and the health food makes your body strong and healthy."


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## MamaAllNatural (Mar 10, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mother_sunshine*
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...ead.php?t=3305










Thanks for that link. I was referring to the more recent thread. I don't think I can name which poster started it though.







Maybe I'll go dig it up myself. We should make a compilation of all the "how old is too old" threads. There are so many.


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## julie128 (Jan 9, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TiredX2*
I think there are two different questions being answered here:

1) How old is too old?
2) How old is too old for you?

Kay

I think that I am WAY too old to nurse!

My 3 2/3 y.o. will occasionally ask to nurse, and I feel really weird about it. I guess this is my limit. The only time I would regularly nurse a child this old or older is if the child was sickly or had a lot of trouble digesting food.


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## quinnNjesse (Nov 24, 2004)

I don't want to judge anyone's choices, but for me personally i HATE it when people say "when they can ASK for it, they're too old"!!!

Grrrr! Cuz they ASK for it from day one!!!!

I'm not really sure how to answer though, since my first was weaned at 20 months due to pg and the supply issues i had in the past (so no tandum for me)...

maybe 4? That's for me, I wouldn't think anyone else is weird for going past that...


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## MamaAllNatural (Mar 10, 2004)

Welcome to MDC quinnNjesse!









Quote:


Originally Posted by *quinnNjesse*
i HATE it when people say "when they can ASK for it, they're too old"!!!

Grrrr! Cuz they ASK for it from day one!!!!

Good point!







I like you already.


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *quinnNjesse*
I don't want to judge anyone's choices, but for me personally i HATE it when people say "when they can ASK for it, they're too old"!!!

Grrrr! Cuz they ASK for it from day one!!!!

Once upon a time, I believed this. Before my son was born, I decided that I'd nurse for a minimum of two years. I'm glad I did, because my son's very first sentence, uttered at 7.5 weeks was "Eli nurzh!"







:LOL

He is 25 months old and still going strong, though he speaks in complete sentences ("May I please have a nursie? May I please have the other side?") and has a huge head, and gigantic hands. I can't visualize him weaning before he's four, because he's absolutely fanatical about it. I nursed him through pregnancy and he and his sister love to nurse together, though I suspect that she will wean sooner than he will.

I'm comitted to child-led weaning. Now, how old is too old to nurse in public is a different question for me-- I can't imagine nursing a four or five or six year old in public, but that's just me.







Maybe we'll get there and it won't seem strange to me. Who knows?


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## Ruby Pearl (Dec 18, 2004)

I agree with the above post. I nursed my DD#1 until her fourth birthday. I tried to wean her whne she was 3, but she was so depressed that after 2 weeks we started nursing again and nursed until my body told me it wasn't working out when the baby was 3 months. The milk would let down for the baby, but not for her. She hadn't been asking often anyway and she seemed ready too. If she had been upset about weaning I probably would have continued to nurse. After she was big enough that nursing in public was no longer discreet or comfortable we only nursed at home and she did not have a problem with this. It came from the fact that at home we usually nursed lying down and we couldn't just lie down in public to nurse, so she didn't see it as being rejected anymore than if I had told her she was not allowed to pull down her pants and have a BM in the food court. The only time she ever asked to nurse when we were out was if we were at her friends house and they were nursing (most our friends also nurse their toddlers).


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## sg784 (Dec 19, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DaryLLL*
SG,

If you live in CT, a well-populated state full of educated people and are stiill surrounded by bfing naysayers, you need a new circle of friends. I highly recommend La Leche League.

Here is a list of LLL groups in CT:

http://www.lllusa.org/CT/CT.html


I go to the LLL mtgs here and only myself and the leaders show up. When I was in the birthing center and told the nurses that my plan was to breastfeed they looked at me like "yeah right" and when I left the hospital breastfeeding they were so happy and proud. The Lactation consultant who works for WIC sends me free stuff all the time and helped me get a free ameda pump. she said that shes so glad to have a breastfeeding "client" who she can give this stuff too becasue there are so few bfing mothers in our area. And if they dont use everything they are given for the year they are given less the next. Sad.

I get most of my critisism from family though. They "were all bottle fed and turned out just fine"







:
Although I havent been asked to leave a public place for breastfeeding, I do get the nastiest looks.

I have seen a number of Ct mommas here but they are all from the other end of the state.


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## DaryLLL (Aug 12, 2002)

Are there anymore active LLL groups in your area? Mtgs with low attendance aren't much fun. Many LLL groups are much bigger. You might want to call around from the link I gave you and ask the leaders you talk to what their attendance is like and why you are asking.

Just a thought. I feel bad you have so little support for sustained bfing. LLL made such a huge difference in my bfing experiences. All of my IRL friends for a decade were from LLL.


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## soccerchic21 (Jan 6, 2004)

I don't think that there is a set age it depends on mother and child and how they both feel. I am personally practicing child led weaning my 18 month old who walks, can ask for it, has had teeth since 4 months and said her first complete sentance "I see Bob" before her first birthday. So I guess I broke all of those rules









When people ask me now I just say "Well if she is still nursing at 5 we might have a little talk about big girls going to school not needing to nurse anymore" Of course I don't know if we will ever get that far, how I will feel nursing a 5 year old or if I would even do that but it gets people off my back at that moment in time.

Personally I think the "if they are old enough to ask for it I think they should be done" is a rediculous comment. I had a FF friend say that to me while asking how long I would go. I just smiled at her and thought to myself "They ask to eat in thier own ways from birth"

And walking! I love that my toddler can walk to me while I am laying on the couch to nurse I don't even have to get off of my butt to get her how convenient!

who uses their teeth when they suck?

And speaking full sentances just makes things easier too. My daughter now says "I want milk".....ok that is a lot better than a screaming baby right?

Also people who make the comment "if they are old enough to ask for it they should be done nursing" I wonder if those people make their children get their own bottle or cup of whatever they get when they are old enough to ask?


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