# Yourself as a teen?..



## Oriole (May 4, 2007)

Is there anything that you have done as a teenager that you would never repeat now as an adult?


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## Strong Mama (Feb 7, 2006)

Is this a trick question? LOL

Yea, theres a lot.


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## fek&fuzz (Jun 19, 2005)

I was very shy as a teen - never dated, didn't go to parties. I can remember the exact moment all my friends were going out after the 8th grade semiformal and I just wanted to go home.

I don't know if I would change it and go to parties and date if I had it to do over...


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## Oriole (May 4, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Transitions* 
Is this a trick question? LOL

Yea, theres a lot.









: spill it out.. no trick, just curiousity!


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## Jessy1019 (Aug 6, 2006)

No, not really. For one thing, I was a "good teen" and for another, I don't regret or feel bad about the "bad" things I did. They were all good experiences for me.


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## rightkindofme (Apr 14, 2008)

Uhm, "borrowing" my mom's car before I had a license. That went less than spectacularly. I only got caught because I came out of a lighted parking garage at night and didn't notice that the lack of headlights. Rats.

Oh, and I would have been differently selective as far as sex partners goes. My priorities were not in good places.

Otherwise I didn't drink, smoke, do drugs, and I had good grades (when I went to school).


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## Oriole (May 4, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *fek&fuzz* 
I was very shy as a teen - never dated, didn't go to parties. I can remember the exact moment all my friends were going out after the 8th grade semiformal and I just wanted to go home.

I don't know if I would change it and go to parties and date if I had it to do over...

That was me.


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

I skipped school, smoked a lot, purposely alienated myself from my peers, got poor grades even though I was plenty smart enough to do the work and never asked the guy I was madly in love with if he wanted to go out.


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## Kapat (Apr 28, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *fek&fuzz* 
I was very shy as a teen - never dated, didn't go to parties.
I don't know if I would change it and go to parties and date if I had it to do over...

Yeah that!
I don't regret it. I started dating at 17 with my DH and um that's all.


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## frontierpsych (Jun 11, 2006)

ummm... everything?










luckily I turned out okay in spite of myself. It's nice to be able to say that. my brother was the same way. He's 19 now and starting to grow up. Gives me the confidence to help moms of teens when they worry about their kids' futures because of the way they act at 14, 15... I'm just like "It's oooookaaaay, breathe! breathe!" lol!


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## Labbemama (May 23, 2008)

I prefer not to think about it. LOL
I was a very dark child. Anxious, depressed, socially apprehensive, and worrying about things a child has no business trying to carry.

About age 16 I became a bit more socially confident and rebelled a bit, met dh, fell madly in love and got married just shy of my 18th bday. Would I do anything different.

Other than not living with my mom and step-dad, no. A lot of my problems were related to my home life.

I cut a lot of classes (excused by my mom to care for her and I had serious eating and anxiety issues) So other than could those times have been the "best" years of my life...I wouldn't change anything other than how I suffered those years, but that was formative and has made me the empathetic, insightful person that I am now and have been able to help a lot of kids because of it and we are still happily married and I hate to think if I did something differently (like go to a dif. school for college or postpone marriage) that I wouldn't have the family I love having so much today.


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## nalo (Oct 25, 2005)

Oh dear g*d! I did so many stupid and illegal things as a teen. I was also a private school (good) student, accomplished athlete, great family girl from a fabulous family, wonderful friends, etc. I had/have a really GOOD life. Yet...I still did the whole teen rebellion thing and it's a miracle, quite frankly, that I escaped unscathed. I only got arrested once and it was when I was still 17 so I got SOOO lucky. That was my wakeup call for sure and I never did anything illegal again. I was just being a crazy teen rebel - I had no need or interest to alter the course of my life. Sometimes I can hardly believe the things I did...I guess it really is true that teen brains are not fully developed.


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## Strong Mama (Feb 7, 2006)

Spill it
!!
LOL

well, I stole a LOT of stuff, got admitted into a pshy hospital for cutting myself, drove the car to town when I was 12 years old, had sex a lot, lied about 10000 times to my parents, smoked, drank, dated a 29 year old man when i was 17...whew thats enough.


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## nalo (Oct 25, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Transitions* 
Spill it
!!
LOL

well, I stole a LOT of stuff, got admitted into a pshy hospital for cutting myself, drove the car to town when I was 12 years old, had sex a lot, lied about 10000 times to my parents, smoked, drank, dated a 29 year old man when i was 17...whew thats enough.

Well, I'm scard to spill it because my user name and siggy are too identifiable to other Seattleites and others from my profession are on MDC







Don't want to mar my professional image. LOL!


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

I was mostly a bookworm and reader.


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## UnschoolnMa (Jun 14, 2004)

Well, I generally feel that we learn from all that we do, but there are many things I look back on and think _"Ahhh man, I had no clue..."_

I wouldn't have given in to the idea that I HAD to date/hook up/have relationships so young just because _"everyone else does'_ or _"that's what teenagers are supposed to do"_.

I wouldn't have put up with so much BS from people or so called "friends".

I wouldn't have stayed in school as long as I did

I wish I could have enjoyed my relationship with my mom more when I was that age.


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## onlygirls (Mar 16, 2008)

I dated an alocholic that was 7 years older than me. I focused more time/energy on him than my education. I left him after 4 years instead of continuing to be miserable or making the situation worse by bringing children into the relationship.

I drank, ditched school, didn't try hard in my classes, didn't get along with my parents, ran away from home. I was a mess. I really hope my kids are different.


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## Serendipity (Nov 12, 2005)

oh boy. i had my son when i was 17, and though a lot of idiotic behavior led to that happening, i wouldn't change it for the world.


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## FancyD (Apr 22, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Oriole* 
Is there anything that you have done as a teenager that you would never repeat now as an adult?









Too much to remember. And too bad to recount on the internet.


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## ~Boudicca~ (Sep 7, 2005)

I would have done better in school. And maybe put myself in foster care.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Yes. I was a nightmare teen (classically over-the-edge, yet at the same time ridiculously, overprotected by my parents.) Not a good mix. The one thing I really wish is that I'd got a handle on my depression earlier and got some serious, intensive treatment for it as a teenager before leaving home for university. That would have made a big difference to my life. Everything else I survived.


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## chiromamma (Feb 24, 2003)

Promiscuous Party Girl!








I was voted Class Partier my senior year. Not exactly one to put on your C.V.!
Thank God the internet and MySpace didn't exist.
I would have done it all differently. I had fun but wasted lots of time, money and brain cells.
It *was* fun. And I have a great life now.
OK, I wouldn't change everything. I would have only smoked dope on the weekends, applied myself in school, played a sport and stayed a virgin until I was in love.


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## Ornery (May 21, 2007)

It is really hard for me to pinpoint exactly what I would change. Almost every decision that I made from age 11 until 19-20. However, if not for the horrific things that I experienced and saw, I would not be the person I am today. I was not the classic "bad girl", I went above and beyond bad.

I hope and pray that my children do not go through a percentage of what I did.


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## UnschoolnMa (Jun 14, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chiromamma* 
OK, I wouldn't change everything. I would have only smoked dope on the weekends,


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## Arduinna (May 30, 2002)

The only thing I regret from my teen years was the one thing that got me arrested. And no it wasn't DUI.


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## granola_mom (Jun 11, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Oriole* 
Is there anything that you have done as a teenager that you would never repeat now as an adult?

My biggest teenage regret was leaving thailand to go back to high school in canada. I was in recovery from an eating disorder that I'd had all my teen years, and convinced my parents to let me leave school temporarily to volunteer for a month in Thailand... they thought at that time that I was pretty much over my eating disorder, but it was very much still alive. I remember visiting the bathroom several times in the airplane on the way over there







Very Jane Fonda of me, eh









Going to thailand and volunteering was the best thing I could have done and for me, better than my years of therapy. The entire time I was there I ate healthy and rarely thought of food, weight or any of those issues. My confidence in myself really strengthened and it really helped me find myself again as a person seperate from eating disorders. Anyway, my biggest regret was leaving too soon. I really did NOT want to leave, in fact I wanted to stay there for a year. I cried when I left, but I felt I had no choice but to go back and finish high school, as I only had one semester left and I was already a year and a half behind due to dropping out to rehab from my eating disorder. Now I know better, and feel it would have been fine to put off high school even longer, or even not finish it if I didnt want to.

I really think if I could have stayed there longer I would have developed more strength in myself and it would have done me a helluva lot better than high school did. I relapsed when I got home








Several months after being home, i got pregnant. So, while that was technically the best thing to ever happen to me... and I haven't had an eating issues since then... now that I have a baby its going to be a while before I can do that sort of thing again, I always think back on it fondly and wonder what would have become of me if I stayed longer. Of course, everything happens for a reason though.

I made tons, tons, tons of other mistakes and negative judgements as a teen but I mostly feel they all shaped me into who I am today and while they hurt at the time, I'm stronger for it today in some ways (still recovering in other ways)... that even includes getting arrested, which turned into a positive thing for me believe it or not. I mostly regret the thailand thing because I felt at the time like I had to live up to society's expectations for me, and staying in thailand wasn't it. I wish I would have listened to and trusted myself.


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

I wish I hadn't cared so much about the opinions of people who cared nothing about me.


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## mommy68 (Mar 13, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Transitions* 
Is this a trick question? LOL

Yea, theres a lot.

ha ha ha! I was thinking the same thing.

uhhh, let's see. Yes I would not have sex at 15, skipped school, partied so hard, been so defiant, followed everything my so-called friends were doing (where are they now?), slept over with those same friends and snuck out of their house and walked the streets all night long, stayed with the same boyfriend for many years and allowed him to verbally abuse me, and the list goes on....

I would have finished high school, gone to a good college and hopefully gotten married much earlier and started having kids earlier. Oh and I would have gotten a degree and made something of myself. Now I'm currently struggling to get through college in my 40's. It's very tough.


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## rhubarbarin (May 2, 2008)

I had severe depression as a teen, stayed in bed most of the time for years, and hated school (I'd hated school since 1st grade, but it just got worse and worse). I was too depressed and anxious to eat much, so I was always exhausted and never felt very good. It was mostly due to my home situation and it's all been uphill since I moved out at 19.

Yes, I would change everything! If only I could go back and tell myself that I didn't have to be trapped and hopeless.. I should have taken care of my body, dropped out of HS at 16, gotten my GED, a job, and an apartment and started my 'real life'. I could have done it easily, I wasted years I didn't have to.

Luckily I didn't drink, do drugs or have risky sex during this time.. I was too depressed to do anything except sleep, read and watch tv.

However because of the way things worked out I met my BF, who is my next-door neighbor.. I wouldn't change anything if it means I wouldn't have met him.


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## Ellien C (Aug 19, 2004)

OK - I wish I had taken a few more risks. I was a really good kid!

I would have gone more places the summer I had the Fiat Spider convertible from my Dad and taken the hard top off. My Dad put the fear of breakdowns in me and said the car only had so many miles in it and if I used them up, that would be it! I only drove it to and from work. I would have taken it to Fire Island to see James Taylor. And I really should have taken the hard top off it.

In college - I wish I'd tried pot?! I spent my free time in basements playing D&D. I wish I had gone on a few more trips - road trips, bus trips, etc. I was always too practical, too busy, too poor. There was a march in Washington that I should have gone on. And a road trip for live gaming that I'm still sorry I missed.


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## stickywicket67 (Jan 23, 2007)

i was teen in the 80's i graduated highschool in '85.

i was a bit of naive in high school for the most part. didn't drink or do drugs at all. i was into nature, photography, music, books, art- i was kind of a dreamer. now those things seem to be more acceptable and encouraged. back then it was all about sports and preppies.

i did like boys and made it a personal mission to kiss as many as i could before graduation.









but i wish i had applied myself more- just done the work and gone on to college. i was shy, i wasn't insecure, just under- confident.

i was in AP classes at one point but the more sophisticated girls in the class made fun of me and i flunked out so i didn't have to have classes with them.

i never gave myself the chance to really explore what i liked to do. i closed doors because i was too scared to put myself out there. i often wonder where i would've ended up with more self confidence as a teen and more educational opportunities.


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## stickywicket67 (Jan 23, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ellien C* 
OK - I wish I had taken a few more risks. I was a really good kid!

*I would have gone more places the summer I had the Fiat Spider convertible from my Dad and taken the hard top off. My Dad put the fear of breakdowns in me and said the car only had so many miles in it and if I used them up, that would be it! I only drove it to and from work. I would have taken it to Fire Island to see James Taylor. And I really should have taken the hard top off it.*

In college - I wish I'd tried pot?! I spent my free time in basements playing D&D. I wish I had gone on a few more trips - road trips, bus trips, etc. I was always too practical, too busy, too poor. There was a march in Washington that I should have gone on. And a road trip for live gaming that I'm still sorry I missed.

you should get yourself a used little convertible one summer. just for fun!


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## UnschoolnMa (Jun 14, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *stickywicket67* 
you should get yourself a used little convertible one summer. just for fun!









Yeah, or even just rent one for a day or two some weekend. Steal that experience back!


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## UnschoolnMa (Jun 14, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mammal_mama* 
I wish I hadn't cared so much about the opinions of people who cared nothing about me.


Oh man, this is so so true for me too. I was just telling my Dd about this too.


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *stickywicket67* 
i was in AP classes at one point but the more sophisticated girls in the class made fun of me and i flunked out so i didn't have to have classes with them.

AP classes? I think those letters *must* stand for something besides Attachment Parenting!







But I dunno ... I've attended LLL meetings where the other mommas seemed more lucrative, more well-toned, and waaay more trendy and better-dressed than me!







But they didn't make fun of me, and their sophistication didn't make me want to drop breastfeeding! I guess I've come a long way since highschool (as I'm sure we all have!).


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## BedHead (Mar 8, 2007)

WAY too many things to list here! I was, shall we say, not a good teen.


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *UnschoolnMa* 

Oh man, this is so so true for me too. I was just telling my Dd about this too.









Yeah, when I thought about it, I realized the choices I made around that "worry" (about what the "popular" kids would think of me) were the ones that still make me cry inside. I can remember waving at a friend when discovering we had the same math class -- he was gesturing for me to sit by him, but I sat across the room, rather than risk sharing in his "fate": he had great big acne-boils on his face that the other kids were razzing him about.









This friend is actually a relative -- and years later I asked his forgiveness for that, and he was cool about it. He's since grown into quite a handsome guy! But, you know how life is: People move on and have their families, and some of the childhood opportunities are lost. I'll never know what might have blossomed, had I been a real friend and stuck with him during that difficult time.

There was this feeling -- I don't know if all the unpopular kids felt it, but I did -- that as long as we stayed isolated, we wouldn't get picked on "as much" as we would if we got together. I also felt like I could stay in denial of my own unpopularity, if I wasn't hanging out with the other "nerds."


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## kewb (May 13, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Oriole* 
Is there anything that you have done as a teenager that you would never repeat now as an adult?

I am pretty sure that as an adult now I am not going to go to the beach, get drunk, and then pee behind the lifeguard stand.


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## mommy777 (Nov 12, 2007)

lol, yes!


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## harrietsmama (Dec 10, 2001)

I would have spoken up for myself sooner and moved in with my Grandma after Junior High instead of at the end of my sophomore year. My parents did a lot of damage. I would have made other mistakes, but not nearly the ones I made without supervision and lack of apparent love. Things got immediately better once I moved in with Grandma and Grandpa.


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## UnschoolnMa (Jun 14, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kewb* 
I am pretty sure that as an adult now I am not going to go to the beach, get drunk, and then pee behind the lifeguard stand.


LOL! Welll.....

I got mildly buzzed at the lake a year or two ago and peed in the bushes. Is that better? Maybe.







:


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## GooeyRN (Apr 24, 2006)

There are MANY things I would never repeat now as an adult. I was the kid you wouldn't want your kid hanging out with. I hope my kids don't turn out like me.


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## stickywicket67 (Jan 23, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mammal_mama* 
AP classes? I think those letters *must* stand for something besides Attachment Parenting!







But I dunno ... I've attended LLL meetings where the other mommas seemed more lucrative, more well-toned, and waaay more trendy and better-dressed than me!







But they didn't make fun of me, and their sophistication didn't make me want to drop breastfeeding! I guess I've come a long way since highschool (as I'm sure we all have!).










AP= advanced placement

sometimes i still get that little twinge while i'm posting on here that some of the snarkier, hipper, more AP/NFL savvy mamas are thinking "who cares about that neophyte with her two cents" so maybe i haven't come all that far since highschool.


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## doctorjen (May 29, 2003)

My son was born when I was 17 (second day of senior year) and that has been the single most important defining thing in my life. Being his mom has changed the whole course of my life. Without him, I don't know that I would have found my profession, which is my life's calling, or met my dh, or had my other children - basically everything in my life would have been different, I think.

I was a very mild-mannered teen and didn't do much to regret. I definitely would have dumped ds's biodad the minute the pregnancy test was positive, though, and saved myself some heartache!


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## UnschoolnMa (Jun 14, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *doctorjen* 
My son was born when I was 17 (second day of senior year) and that has been the single most important defining thing in my life. Being his mom has changed the whole course of my life. ..........

.....I definitely would have dumped ds's biodad the minute the pregnancy test was positive, though, and saved myself some heartache!


I can relate to those things as well. I was 15 when I had Ds and 17 when I had Dd. It changed my teen life and fast! Many people have said that they don't even see that I really had a teenhood, because I got pregnant with Ds at 14 and have been a parent ever since.


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## ewe+lamb (Jul 20, 2004)

oh yeah - just too many things to mention - I could elaborate - but won't!!!


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## Pancakes (Jan 22, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Oriole* 
Is there anything that you have done as a teenager that you would never repeat now as an adult?


I have fewer regrets from things I did than things I didn't. I was a very good teenager and wished I'd been a bit more bold.


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## Ellien C (Aug 19, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mammal_mama* 
There was this feeling -- I don't know if all the unpopular kids felt it, but I did -- that as long as we stayed isolated, we wouldn't get picked on "as much" as we would if we got together. I also felt like I could stay in denial of my own unpopularity, if I wasn't hanging out with the other "nerds."

I embraced my nerdom early on. It was actually pretty empowering because by the end of HS there were so many of us that we were quite popular. In general I had a very good HS experience.

It's funny you guys mention renting a convertible, because that was the first new car I bought when I graduated college and got a job. I thought I'd keep that Honda forever. It was our wedding getaway car.... Sadly, DH totalled it when I was 8 and half months pregnant. It was a 2-seater and the end of an era. I wasn't with him and no one was hurt.


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## SheepNumber97245 (Apr 20, 2007)

get married...


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## Ianthe (Dec 19, 2006)

I don't really regret much of the sex drugs and rock and roll stuff.. but I wish I would have gotten my GED sooner and started college sooner than AFTER having a baby 9 years later.


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## Viola (Feb 1, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *fek&fuzz* 
I was very shy as a teen - never dated, didn't go to parties.

Same here. I probably would do more fun stuff if I had it to do over again.


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## mamato3cherubs (Nov 30, 2004)

I would have respected my mother better, and would never wnat to put her through the things i put her through again, other than that,
sex drugs rock'n'roll ...naa, id do that all over again. Maybe just a touch differnet, but no regrets


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## mia_jean (Jun 17, 2006)

I like reading all the replies. It's kind of nice to hear other stories of not so nice teenager years. I do believe that every decision made has led me to today where I have two beautiful children that I wouldn't trade the world for. Though I don't worry about changing the past or hang on to every crappy thing I've done, if in this moment I'm being honest, and if I could still have my two kids, I have to say I would have done everything different.
My actions were shaped by my enviroment, but still they were my actions. I would have respected myself more, my family more, the people who tried to help me as well as the people who tried to hurt me. I deserved much more than I gave my self credit for and consequently I continued to put myself in embarrasing and sometimes painful situations.
Not that it was all awful, but the final outcomes where always sad. Lots of sex, skipping school, car trips (runing away







to (boring) far away places,not enough ART!

Oh, and I can't count the number of times I've gotten 'tipsy' and peed in public place.....I'm not sure I'd take those back


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## Sharlla (Jul 14, 2005)

Wouldn't go drinking and driving, have unprotected sex, shop lift, breaking and entering, get in a fist fight, try to kill myself, cut, shave my head, give myself a tattoo.. I'm sure there is more.


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## applejuice (Oct 8, 2002)

I was a teen in the 1960s and early 1970s.

I worked full time and went to school. I had little fun. I never dated until I met my DH at age 22 and was graduating from college. I was very mature.

If I had it to do over again, I would have had more fun as I look back. I was very straight laced and dependable. People tend to take a person for granted when a person is like that. No one appreciates a dependable person. Much energy from society is put into getting the troublemakers back on track. I wish I had made more noise and attracted more attention. No one would have ignored me then.


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## Alkenny (May 4, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamato3cherubs* 
I would have respected my mother better, and would never wnat to put her through the things i put her through again, other than that,
sex drugs rock'n'roll ...naa, id do that all over again. Maybe just a touch differnet, but no regrets


I could've written this myself.


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## taterbug1999 (May 5, 2006)

yeah I would pretty much not repeat years 15-20........nothing there worth doing over.............


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## mommy68 (Mar 13, 2006)

What I'd never repeat:

Having sex at the age of 15.

I don't regret it necessarily but if I could do it over I definitely wouldn't have sex that early and with the first real serious boyfriend. But I wasn't raised right and was seeking male attention. The first real boyfriend I had was older and that fatherly figure and he got what he wanted and controlled me for the next ten years.







I wish my parents would have protected me more. I was very naive.


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## mommy68 (Mar 13, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *applejuice* 
If I had it to do over again, I would have had more fun as I look back. I was very straight laced and dependable. People tend to take a person for granted when a person is like that. No one appreciates a dependable person. Much energy from society is put into getting the troublemakers back on track. I wish I had made more noise and attracted more attention. No one would have ignored me then.

I wish I could have been more like you.







And I was ignored AND making a lot of trouble to get attention. I still didn't get it.







So it goes both ways.


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## Hesperia (Sep 3, 2007)

Well, I'm not far off from being a teen in numbers, but mentally I'm hugely past it.

This is probably a great question in disguise, I can feel healing coming off this.

Myself as a teen......wasn't pretty.

I wish I put myself into foster care, or something similar, because really my home life is what messed me up. I only drank twice in high school, and smoked pot once. I was pretty good that way. I wish I didn't have sex at 15 or 16. I wish I never had to take that morning after pill, I still am very upset about that. I wish I finished high school, I was so close and very bright. I wish I didn't 'date' as much.

I feel as though I grew up fast. Those portions of my life were very painful but relatively fast. I love the person I am today.

I honestly think being a teen is subhuman. You just cannot think, or something


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## cat2116 (Sep 20, 2007)

I don't regret anything I did....otherwise I would not be the person I am today









However thinking back...I would be mortified if my kids followed my example. I drank till I passed out (even on school nights), smoked, took drugs, dated married men twice my age, got myself arrested, got a tattoo, skipped school all the time.....the list is endless.

I also battled anorexia for years....not something I would wish upon my worst enemy.


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