# Books on being uncircumcised and peers who are?



## Pianofiend (Apr 15, 2006)

Hello everyone,

I don't write here often, but you are always so good at answering my questions I thought I'd throw another one at ya. We have two boys, both intact







, and our oldest is starting kindergarten this fall. I wondered if you might know of any books that are child friendly that discuss being uncircumcised and having peers who are. I want to arm him with the best self esteem that I can so that when he encounters other little boys, he will know how to react if they say something like, "whys your penis look weird" or something equally dumb. I've tried to explain to him as best I can that some boys are different, but I don't know if it's really hitting home. So if you can help me at all with this, I would surely appreciate it.

Thanks!

Natalie


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## Yoshua (Jan 5, 2006)

Uncircumcized isnt a word. It is called 'Intact' alot of people misuse the words but the word is 'Intact'
(knee jerk from the title, yes i do see you use the word in your post)









I don't know of any books but you could do a pre-emptive strike and talk to him about circumcision. 5 may be a bit young but if he knows you protected him then when someone says 'your penis looks funny' he can respond with 'my mom didn't let the doctor cut me when I was a baby, yours did!'

that would make those kids go home and ask 'mom? dad? why did you let the doctor cut my penis off?'

would make for a fun education


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## Minky (Jun 28, 2005)

I have always wanted to write a childrens book, maybe I should try my hand at it


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## Pianofiend (Apr 15, 2006)

Thanks for responding Yoshua,









Joshua is actually the middle name of my son in question







. He's a bit ADD,and he also hasn't retracted yet, so just trying to explain to him that other boys just have a glans where he also has foreskin just doesn't connect. My DH is circ'd, (and has always been supportive of our decision) but I think I would have a hard time getting him to do a little show and tell with our DS. He is a good father, but when it comes to stuff like that, he has a hard time with it. I think maybe because he is circ'd, and DS isn't, he doesn't know how to relate.
My DS is also very sensitive, so I am just worried that he will really get his feelings hurt if he is not adequately prepared. I was really hoping there was a children's book on it with harmless illustrations. I really don't want to have to bring out the graphic photos.


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## Pianofiend (Apr 15, 2006)

Hi Minky,

Yes! Go for it! Actually I've considered that same avenue--perhaps we could try it together, only I'm no artist!


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## Dave2GA (Jul 31, 2005)

Alan Comfort's "The Facts of Love" published in the 1970's has excellent drawings of both circed and intact boys. THe book is really for 10 years and up, but you could use the illustrations to show a 5 year old the difference. Look on Amazon.com for the book, or just Google it and find a used copy from a book dealer. "The What's Happening to my Body Book for Boys, Third Edition," by Linda Madaras has a great chapter on the difference, on progressive retraction, and on keeping your foreskin. It has better info in it than most medical texts. If all Drs. knew what was in the book all foreskins would be safe. You can get the book at any bookstore. It is for 8+, but you can use the illustrations on younger kids. Good luck!


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## calngavinsmom (Feb 19, 2003)

Hi there. I'm not sure about books, but here are acouple of good articles that you could print out if you like them:
http://www.tornwing.com/peacefulbegi...letforboys.htm

http://www.tornwing.com/peacefulbegi...ersforboys.htm

Take care,
Tara


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## loving-my-babies (Apr 2, 2004)

I hope you find a book, but I doubt it since an intact penis is a normal penis. I had never heard of circumcision in my country until I moved to the US 4 years ago.


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## Nathan1097 (Nov 20, 2001)

There is a book called "The Joy of Being a Boy"- but I think it might be out of print. I had to special order a copy back in 1998.


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## Minky (Jun 28, 2005)

You have inspired me and I am working on a book, it may take a while though, its hard to draw on all those art school skills while caring for a new little one.

I hope people would be interested when I'm done, maybe I can finally become a WAHM


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## Leddie (Nov 22, 2002)

I've struggled with this but it had been with dd instead of ds.







DD attends a Reggio preschool and they have a very open bathroom. She has asked me why some boys' penises look different than DS's. I've tried to explain to her that everyone looks different than everyone else (eyes, hair, skin tone, penises, ears, etc). Perhaps this is a naive approach but I'm not ready (and neither is she) to grasp circ. At this point I'm still working on the different doesn't = scary or bad message. Because I really wouldn't want my 5 year old making a circ'd boy feel bad about his penis and obviously the circ'd boy didn't make the decision.


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## Revamp (May 12, 2006)

Minky: Great idea!

What is a WAHM though?


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## calngavinsmom (Feb 19, 2003)

WAHM=*W*ork *A*T *H*ome *M*om









Tara


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## Islay (Apr 29, 2006)

Natalie... in my experience, little ones - if they notice your son's penis at all - will barely give it a second thought. Nudity is just 'no clothes', bless 'em! After all, even the circumcised penises will all be different: long, short and so on. But you do have some some good choices of published material now. I hope you find them useful.

By the way, my dictionary recognises the existence of the word _uncircumcised_. The definition is simply: not circumcised!

Minky and Natalie - are you going to collaborate on a book? Minky says she's no artist, but perhaps you are, Natalie?? In any event, it's a great idea and I wish you every success.
















Christopher


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## Minky (Jun 28, 2005)

I took art classes in high school and college, just never did anything with them.

I will see what I come up with and maybe if someone know's how to post pictures on Mothering, I will post. I also need to find somewhere to scan my stuff coz we don't have a scanner here. DH might let me use his one at work but I don't think he's really supposed. to.


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## Islay (Apr 29, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Minky*
I took art classes in high school and college, just never did anything with them.

I will see what I come up with and maybe if someone know's how to post pictures on Mothering, I will post. I also need to find somewhere to scan my stuff coz we don't have a scanner here. DH might let me use his one at work but I don't think he's really supposed. to.

Does your local library have a scanner (many do)? Or you could try your local computer/repair shop (some do).

Christopher


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## Minky (Jun 28, 2005)

I will start looking but let's not get ahead of ourselves, I have to get some drawings done first!


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## Revamp (May 12, 2006)

LOL, good luck to ya Minky!


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## nd_deadhead (Sep 22, 2005)

Natalie, my intact sons didn't learn what circumcision was until they were 8 years old. At that time they were shocked that anyone would do such a thing (see my siggie).

Now they are 11, in 6th grade. I haven't directly asked, but I have never heard them talk about any other boy's penis, and they have never mentioned anything about comments from others (and they do tell us when kids make comments about other things - acne is the latest).
I just don't think it's an issue. When the time is right, your sons will learn about circumcision - I don't think you need to force the issue. And when they do find out, they are likely to be as grateful as my sons that no one cut off what they consider to be "the best part" of their penis!


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## sunnysideup (Jan 9, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nd_deadhead*
Natalie, my intact sons didn't learn what circumcision was until they were 8 years old. At that time they were shocked that anyone would do such a thing (see my siggie).

My son was around age 9 and had the same reaction as your son.


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## Pianofiend (Apr 15, 2006)

Hi everyone,

Sorry it took me so long to get back to this--I really appreciate all the advice/recommendations that have been made. I will look into the books, and try not to be so paranoid about it







. I agree that it will probably be a few years before the issue even comes up, but sometimes you just don't know. I have been shocked and surprised before by a five year old's perception, and it wouldn't surprise me if my son had a peer who _did_ notice, and said something unnecessary.
Minky, good luck with that book! I will keep my eyes open!

Natalie


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## Minky (Jun 28, 2005)

I am working on it and some drawing's are taking shape. I am still out of luck in the scanner department.


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