# What age for bikini



## samanthasmom (Jun 18, 2006)

my dd turned 6 a few months ago. we went bathing suit shopping the other day and she wanted to get a bikini. we didn't end up getting one because they didn't have any suits in her size (bikini or otherwise) she doesnt want a tankini, just a bikini.

just wondering what the thoughts are on wearing a bikini at 6. i thought it was ok. i'm more concerned with sun exposure when we go to the beach.. we have spf shirts for the beach. so the bikini would be just for the backyard sprinkler or the pond. my dh said no because he doesn't want that much skin exposed and worries about people looking at her. he's also concerned it would be growing up too fast.

wdyt??


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

Personally, I have no problem with a young child wearing a bikini. There is nothing inherantly sexual, IMO, about skin.

My DD was actually really excited to get a one piece suit when she was a little older than your DD is now. She was always so thin that two pieces worked better. Friends of ours who dress their kids modestly also like two piece suits because they are so much easier to get on and off (for potty breaks).


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## Honey693 (May 5, 2008)

We always do two piece suits here b/c it's easier to pee in them. I have no problem with bikinis for little kids unless they're the triangle top ones. If the top has decent coverage and the bottom covers as much as their underwear I'm ok.


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## Monkeygrrl (Oct 9, 2005)

We did tankini's or shorts/tops or one pieces until the girls were 15/16 and responsible about it, then they could wear bikini's if they wanted to.


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## erigeron (Oct 29, 2010)

My mom said she always felt sorry for her childhood friend Jill who always had a two-piece swimsuit and the top always seemed to be riding up on her. I think that might have been part of why she always put us in one-pieces as kids. If the suit fits properly and stays on, I don't see a huge issue with a two-piece for a little kid, but I wouldn't do a string bikini because that does seem like a shout-out to an adult fashion that I don't think is appropriate.


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## Linda on the move (Jun 15, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *samanthasmom*
> so the bikini would be just for the backyard sprinkler or the pond. *my dh said no* because he doesn't want that much skin exposed and worries about people looking at her. he's also concerned it would be growing up too fast.


Your DH's opinion counts more than the other posters here.

My DDs were competitive swimmer for years, so they wore one pieces because they stay on for diving and flip turns. I think the suit staying put for what you plan to do while wearing it is the most important criteria.

As far as modesty, I personally think the actual cut of the suit is more important than if it has one or two pieces -- I've seen tasteful suits both ways, and I've seen bimbo suits both ways.

I think finding some common ground for daddy and daughter would be good. They need to talk to each other, or may be go shopping together.


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## Monkeygrrl (Oct 9, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Linda on the move*
> 
> Your DH's opinion counts more than the other posters here.


For sure.

Find out what your DH is ok with. Go shopping. Take pictures - send them to him. Keeping him involved will help validate his opinion.


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## Peony (Nov 27, 2003)

We usually do tankinis are rec swimming, when DD1 was on the the sim team, it was a one piece of course. She has been asking for over a year for a "real bikini" . I admit to liking my girls to have swimsuits that are not tiny. DD1 is 9 now. We went to the beach for spring break and she desperately wanted a bikini, she tried on suits everywhere we went, but with her thin frame, none fit well. We recently found one at justice that does it her very well, stays put, so I allowed her to buy it. It is rather string bikini like with two triangles. It makes her happy and I have one to realize like another poster mentioned, it is just skin.


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## samanthasmom (Jun 18, 2006)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Linda on the move*
> 
> Your DH's opinion counts more than the other posters here.


Of course it does. I didn't mean to imply it didn't.


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## MilkyWayMom (Mar 9, 2007)

For a long time I have favored a one piece. DD just turned 4, but we swim a lot. Partly, yes, I felt like a bikini is too much of a "grown up" look. Maybe it's just me wanting to keep my little girl little. Last year she received a two piece as a gift. It just didn't fit right. A year later she has really grown into and it is actually one of my favorites. It's more a tankini though. And of course, I finally discovered, it's much easier for her to use the bathroom with this suit. I still haven't had her in an actual bikini. One other thing to consider - the less covered, the more sun exposure, so more sunscreen especially on areas that don't see sun often.


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## ollyoxenfree (Jun 11, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Linda on the move*
> 
> As far as modesty, I personally think the actual cut of the suit is more important than if it has one or two pieces -- I've seen tasteful suits both ways, and I've seen bimbo suits both ways.


Yeah, maybe this is a terminology thing? I think of a bikini as a particular kind of 2-piece suit - 2 triangles for the top and low-cut/high-rise bottoms. If it's a modesty issue, there are lots of 2-piece suits with more generous covering on top and bottom - tank/sport bra-tops and boy cut shorts. Look around, you can probably find something. There are good reasons to choose a 2-piece. Ease of removal for bathroom is one. Fit is another, if she has a long torso.


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## mumkimum (Nov 14, 2006)

I won't be getting my kids bikinis (or 2 piece suits, really) because of a combination of my views on modesty, practicality while swimming, and our family's easy-burning skin. They'll have to wait until they're adults & want to buy their own.









I do think, that if you're interested in one, there are a lot of kid-appropriate styles out there in a bikini or two-piece. A lot of kid clothing stores have pretty decent options - I'd hunt out some things online and show your dh first so he can get more of a sense of what's out there too. (Might be he's mainly got one idea of a bikini in mind, yk?)


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## Red Pajama (Jun 11, 2007)

I'm really impressed with the quality and choices available from Lands' End. You may find something there that you like.

I'm very protective regarding sun exposure, and my kids (boys and the girl) wear swim shirts to the pool. Only time they can be without is in the sprinkler of the evening at home.

And for us, showing that much skin in such an adult way isn't appropriate. I have no problems with people who feel differently.


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

dd is 9 and has worn bikinis since she was 5. she wouldnt wear them before that, but at 5 she REALLY wanted a bikini.

now i like bikinis because really she can wear them for a longer time than a one piece bathing suit. she doesnt outgrow them that fast.

she does have a bikini, a tankini and a one piece.

however my philosophy is - if a man wants to look at a child they will do so no matter what. bikini or no bikini.

that is why i find bikinis are ok.

however i think dd is going into the modesty phase and is wearing her bikinis not too often these days.

where sun is concerned however i worry more about the mountains and snow than water.

both dd and me burn more easily on snow on a sunny day. even covered in layers those are the times we have to use sun block or actually burn in just one afternoon.


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## transylvania_mom (Oct 8, 2006)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *meemee*
> 
> however my philosophy is - if a man wants to look at a child they will do so no matter what. bikini or no bikini.
> 
> that is why i find bikinis are ok.


Quote:


> Originally Posted by *TiredX2*
> 
> Personally, I have no problem with a young child wearing a bikini. There is nothing inherantly sexual, IMO, about skin.


I agree with this. My 2 y/o wears a bikini. Many kids dd's age are completely naked on the beach in Europe where I come from. This has nothing to do with modesty. She couldn't care less, and if there are sick people out there they will look at kids bikini or no bikini.

JMO


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## Neera (Jul 15, 2007)

I prefer it if dd wears it now at a young age. I'll want her to be modest when she is older. She has baby fat and it actually looks cute on her.


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Neera*
> 
> I prefer it if dd wears it now at a young age. I'll want her to be modest when she is older. She has baby fat and it actually looks cute on her.


This was totally how we viewed it too. Now that DD is 13, DP has way more of a problem with DD in a two piece swimsuit (or short shorts or skirt) than he did 10 years ago!


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## Boot (Jan 22, 2008)

I don't have a problem with naked kids at all but some bikinis are more sexualising than nudity. I don't like to see a 5 year old dressed like an 18 year old hottie. However, more importantly, it's a lot more work to keep a child from burning when their upper thighs, hips, tummy and back are exposed. I just keep my 2 year old in a sun suit. Any time it's warm enough to swim it's warm enough to burn where I live. However, I wouldn't mind her wearing a little girl style bikini at the indoor pool when she's older.

Something like this I would be fine with -http://www.amazon.com/Hartstrings-Girls-Little-Ruffled-Bikini/dp/B007KIZ6UO/ref=sr_1_30?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1340208341&sr=1-30&keywords=child+swimsuit

But not this -http://www.amazon.com/Hurley-Banded-Halter-Bottom-Swimwear/dp/B0058XE05U/ref=sr_1_52?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1340208616&sr=1-52&keywords=child+swimsuit

It's very subjective of course.


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## transylvania_mom (Oct 8, 2006)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Boot*
> 
> I don't have a problem with naked kids at all but some bikinis are more sexualising than nudity. I don't like to see a 5 year old dressed like an 18 year old hottie.
> 
> It's very subjective of course.


I agree. It feels so weird to put a bra on my almost 3 y/o. If it were for me, I would just put a bikini bottom on her. But I don't want other kids to make fun of her or an adult to be "offended".


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

At our house:

two piece=yes. I love rash guard shirts and boy shorts, or tankinis. Comfortable, functional, win all over.

triangle/string bikini=no. I think to myself - why do grown up women wear triangle bikinis? Not really primarily for comfort or function, you risk a wardrobe malfunction if you get too active. It's to look good, and look appealing. To look sexy. And there's nothing wrong with that if that's what you want to do as a grown person who is capable of being in sexual relationships. I don't want that to be a consideration for my kid until they are at an age where sexuality comes into play. That's my objection to "sexy" or "adult" clothes on little kids (well, little girls, let's be realistic). It has nothing to do with whatever pervy creep might be around gawking at my kid, cause she could be wearing overalls for all they care. It has to do with the mindset of why do you purchase a piece of clothing. Comfort and function come first, for a little kid. Fashion comes second. Looking hot comes a way distant third, when they are starting to contemplate sexual relationships.

Some may say I'm reading too much into clothing. I go on seasonal school clothes shopping rants about why little girl's shorts have a half inch inseams and are tight, and little boy's shorts have a 4- inch inseam and have room to move. Why little girls' jeans are skinny/boot cut/low rise, and little boys are relaxed fit/carpenter. Why little girls' bathing suits are minimally and strategically placed, and boy's board shorts are practically coulottes - ever seen a pair of Speedo swim briefs in a boy's section of a regular clothing store?

But maybe I think too much about it.


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## BeeandOwlsMum (Jul 11, 2002)

We got DD a two piece (tankini, but still showed significant tummy) when she was about 4.5. And it was PURELY practical. She frequently found that immediately after getting into the pool, she needed to pee. LOL And peeling the wet suit off her, and then trying to put it back on, was difficult and uncomfortable, and she needed help. So we got her this one because she can just pull down the bottoms and while still sticky, a lot easier than trying to shimmy a wet suit back up her body.

She still has one, though after her recent growth spurts, she likely needs a new one.


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## Imakcerka (Jul 26, 2011)

Bikini's are just easier to deal with when they're little. However it all depends on how you both feel about it. Sometimes the one pieces look boring to little people I'd look for something that comes with a fun skirt or extra sparkles or something. Only time I ever got my oldest in a one piece it was because it came with a frilly skirt.


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## Mosaic (Jun 20, 2005)

I'll come out and admit it: I hate kiddo bikinis.

I just don't like them at all. They're super-popular, so I know the issue is just mine. FWIW, I also don't like many dance costumes and I REALLY dislike makeup on kids. I don't think it's a sexualization thing so much as an emphasis on physical appearance and being "cute" that makes me uncomfortable. But to be honest, my feelings on this are so visceral, I couldn't really tell you clearly where they come from.


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

you know something... until my dd wanted it I hadnt realised how big makeup/bikini and other things were to me in my head. i looked at it as sexualising - typically like 'little miss sunshine'.... till i had a child who challenged all that.

why do we look at all of it as sexualizing? isnt that what we adults do to our kids to put them on those shows?

how about kids who want to - to copy mommy and others around her.

why should they not use makeup?

why not bikinis?

why not blouses with their midriff showing?

and you know who asked me these questions - my own child at 5. and i thought hey that IS right. so i went and got her lighter make up to use in public (i explained to her how i didnt want people commenting on her)...

result even before the month was out - she was done with make up and midriff showing. for a month she religiously put on makeup every single time she went out - lip gloss, rouge and eyeshadow.

now she does it once in a blue while.


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

Eh, my kids would love to drive (and do lots of other "grownup stuff"), but that's something they also have to wait to do until they're older and more mature. Copying mom/other people around them is not a compelling reason for me to agree to my kids doing anything....plus, I don't wear makeup or bikinis, so she wouldn't be getting the idea from me.  Actually now that I think about it I had a bikini top once that I'd wear on super hot days when I went to a local park to hang out and read.

Clothing is becoming more an issue about the inequity between the genders and what that's saying about what's valuable about each, to me.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

My kids have always had two-piece suits, although I don't know if any have fit the definiton of "bikini." They are tankini or sporty things. But two piece and showing skin. I find it more practical for potty breaks, and my kids are tall so they fit better.


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *The4OfUs*
> 
> Clothing is becoming more an issue about the inequity between the genders and what that's saying about what's valuable about each, to me.


in the adult world - yes. in the child's world - NO. they just want to try it out. i see no harm in that.

and yeah neither do i wear a bikini or use makeup or even have tattoos. but yes they are around. if you gave my 2 year old a marker she'd draw all over herself as tattoos. why is that wrong? why is her wanting makeup wrong?

and yes i have the problem with tankinis too. dd is tall and they turn into bikinis for her too.

and yes she did want to drive too at 2 but realised she couldnt. at 5 she refuses because she understood how dangerous a car could be. now at almost 10 she wished she lived on a farm so she could learn how to drive since she can reach the pedals.


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## revolting (Sep 10, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Boot*
> 
> Something like this I would be fine with -http://www.amazon.com/Hartstrings-Girls-Little-Ruffled-Bikini/dp/B007KIZ6UO/ref=sr_1_30?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1340208341&sr=1-30&keywords=child+swimsuit
> 
> ...


This. I like two pieces for toilet use, and we've pretty much always had my daughter in a two piece for that reason.


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## homeschoolingmama (Jun 15, 2007)

We don't do bikini's here. From a young age I have been teaching my children about modesty and respecting their bodies. (This applies to us. I don't judge other parents decisions at all) I don't worry about predators but I do worry about their views about themselves. I can't even shop anymore for my 9 and 8yo's because I can't find anything to cover their butts! I was walking around a store looking for Christmas dresses and just couldn't find any. I asked someone and they pointed at what I thought was a shirt! I will be making their skirts and sundresses this year.


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## Anastasiya (Jun 13, 2006)

No bikinis here, either. I don't mind two pieces but my idea of a two piece is a tankini and rash guard shorts. I prefer they are more modest in their attire, both swimming and living daily life.

I never had a problem as a kid going pee in a one piece, and one pieces were all I wore. Doesn't anyone know the secret of pulling the crotch panel off to the side and peeing that way? You don't have to take the whole suit off. LOL!


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## Lissli (Aug 2, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *homeschoolingmama*
> 
> We don't do bikini's here. From a young age I have been teaching my children about modesty and respecting their bodies. (This applies to us. I don't judge other parents decisions at all) I don't worry about predators but I do worry about their views about themselves. I can't even shop anymore for my 9 and 8yo's because I can't find anything to cover their butts! I was walking around a store looking for Christmas dresses and just couldn't find any. I asked someone and they pointed at what I thought was a shirt! I will be making their skirts and sundresses this year.


 Ditto, thankfully my dd cannot stand bikini's she said that it does not make sense to her why people would want to look like they are wearing undergarments; she is five.


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## hildare (Jul 6, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *The4OfUs*
> 
> Eh, my kids would love to drive (and do lots of other "grownup stuff"), but that's something they also have to wait to do until they're older and more mature. Copying mom/other people around them is not a compelling reason for me to agree to my kids doing anything....plus, I don't wear makeup or bikinis, so she wouldn't be getting the idea from me.  Actually now that I think about it I had a bikini top once that I'd wear on super hot days when I went to a local park to hang out and read.
> 
> Clothing is becoming more an issue about the inequity between the genders and what that's saying about what's valuable about each, to me.


a big huge







about this.

i totally agree with you and with op's dh. tankinis don't = bikini imo. i will not ever put my kid in a bikini. dd wears rashguard shirt and shorts, just like ds.


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## parsley (May 7, 2011)

I've been thinking about this thread for the past 2 days as it's super hot and we've been at pools. My DD always wears a rash guard short sleeve shirt and bottoms (I always wear a one piece or tankini). I never even let her wear regular tank top swim suits outside for the risk of sun damage. But, I've been trying to decide if once I get over the sun exposure issue I'd be ok with a bikini. I've now seen about 100 kids in bikinis over the past two days. They all look to my eyes like adult style bikinis in kids sizes. I've yet to see one that really looked kid-appropriate (other than a tankini).

I'm bothered by the way that young girls are encouraged to act older and more mature. And, I also fear that the bikini starts to look "sexy" pretty early. I saw a group of 10ish year old kids and there was a girl in a bikini in the center of a circle of boys and her mannerisms looked more flirtatious than like a girl playing with her friends. I saw two boys picking at her shoulder strap and her giggling. The other girls were on the sidelines. Maybe I'm overgeneralizing but it sure looked to me that the girl and the boys all were thinking in terms of sexy. And, when we think about mass media and how women are portrayed doesn't it seem likely that boys are familiar with the idea of girls showing skin are sexy and should be treated as such?

I also feel like "fancy" clothes and impractical swimwear teach girls to be more passive. I have big problems with the idea of my kids wearing clothes that are not meant for activity but rather for display and that's what those bikinis look like to me. How can a kid really play and run when their clothes are being held on by strings or tiny straps? DD and I have also had this conversation about how "fancy" dresses make it harder to climb or run or bring along the toys she wants.

So a resounding NEVER from me!


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## BubbleMa (Sep 24, 2007)

No bikinis here. I don't want my girls to get used to the idea of showing so much skin. I want them to be comfortable with their bodies, but also realize that they aren't for everyone to see. It's hard to say to them, "It was okay to wear a bikini when you were 5, but now that you're 13 it's not." kwim? So I just don't allow them at all. Plus, they're so annoying and uncomfortable. The top is always riding up, the bottom is always sagging down. So you're constantly fussing with it, and I'd rather them be comfortable.


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## JudiAU (Jun 29, 2008)

Swimsuits should be functional in the same way in that a raincoat should be functional. They should be easy on and off, perform well for swimming, and dry quickly. I also believe they should provide the maximum sun protection possible. My kids wear long sleeve swim shirts and some sort of bottom.

I don't like bikins on kids because they do none of the above, ever kid is tugging on them, I also find many to be sexualized. Sporty two pieces I can understand and/or tankinis. I see bathings suits all the time that I think are weird and kind of nasty for the age.

I've had the best luck with Land's End because they truly seem to fit and I like the mix and match options.


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## poppylove (May 30, 2012)

No bikinis for us either. For most of the reasons that have been mentioned.


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *parsley*
> 
> How can a kid really play and run when their clothes are being held on by strings or tiny straps?


see but in the realm of bikini lines it isnt just that. dd has bikinis that are like granny panties or boy shorts and a sports bra. she can run and play and do whatever she wants in them comfortably.

i am sure triangles and strings exist for kids (i am kinda oblivious to them) but it doesnt have to be all that. i dont think of bikinis as being the extreme.


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

Quote:


> I also feel like "fancy" clothes and impractical swimwear teach girls to be more passive. I have big problems with the idea of my kids wearing clothes that are not meant for activity but rather for display and that's what those bikinis look like to me. How can a kid really play and run when their clothes are being held on by strings or tiny straps? DD and I have also had this conversation about how "fancy" dresses make it harder to climb or run or bring along the toys she wants.


Honestly, boys swim trunks bother me way more from this perspective than girls swim suits. I'll see a kid that doesn't weigh more than 40 lbs with shorts down past his knees just dragging in the water. DS has always been thin, so in the past we just found shorts cut on the "shorter" (still full length, just not under the knees like so many) in a size smaller than he would wear in pants lenght. Now, jammers are easy to find and I like that option:


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## Linda on the move (Jun 15, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *meemee*
> i dont think of bikinis as being the extreme.


I don't either, and I don't get how "bikini" became the word for a swimsuit that has crossed someone's line for appropriate, while all acceptable 2 piece swim suits are non-bikinis. It doesn't even make sense.

Here is a link to a bikini that isn't going anywhere. Made by Speedo for lifeguards:

http://www.nextag.com/Speedo-Lifeguard-Endurance-2-563302027/prices-html?nxtg=41e0a1c052a-E5A2572DE6F348B9

As far as modesty, that is of course a different issue for every family. Our rules are obviously quite different than our neighbors, who are Muslims and wear the veil. But having spent a lot of time at pools, modesty is not defined by the number of pieces that make up the suit. It's not that simple.


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## BeeandOwlsMum (Jul 11, 2002)

I am interested in the line of thought that if they want or wear bikinis at this age they will become more passive (someone said that - don't remember who) or that they will think less of themselves, or it will start a trend in how they dress.

Now - for example - me, circa 1979:

 

I loved that suit. It was hot pink, and had gold rivety things on the top, and a ruffle. I really and truly loved that suit - obviously since I still remember it, and I knew where to find it in the old picture albums. LOL

I don't feel that having this suit influenced my self perception, my passivity level, my self esteem or how I dress now. In fact now, I would be less likely to wear a bikini due to comfort reasons. I might do one of the sport ones, but not halter necks.

I understand all the reasons for not doing it - and I agree with a lot of them. Sun protection, too adult, impractical for wee ones, uncomfortable, want more modesty, skeeves you out...all valid reasons. But I think that projecting what the kid will do or be like due to a swim suit when they are a toddler is a bit of stretch. For the record I own neither hot pink clothing nor bikinis at this point in the game. LOL And most totally no gold rivety things in my clothing. LOL


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## Honey693 (May 5, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Anastasiya*
> 
> No bikinis here, either. I don't mind two pieces but my idea of a two piece is a tankini and rash guard shorts. I prefer they are more modest in their attire, both swimming and living daily life.
> I never had a problem as a kid going pee in a one piece, and one pieces were all I wore. Doesn't anyone know the secret of pulling the crotch panel off to the side and peeing that way? You don't have to take the whole suit off. LOL!


My kid won't do that. she freaks out b/c "we don't pee with clothes on!"


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## BeeandOwlsMum (Jul 11, 2002)

That implies aim on the part of the child in said suit. LOL And willingness. My DD wouldn't do that either. I hated doing that when I was a kid too.


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## Linda on the move (Jun 15, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AdinaL*
> 
> I am interested in the line of thought that if they want or wear bikinis at this age they will become more passive (someone said that - don't remember who) or that they will think less of themselves, or it will start a trend in how they dress.
> 
> ....For the record I own neither hot pink clothing nor bikinis at this point in the game. LOL And most totally no gold rivety things in my clothing. LOL


Love the suit, and love the way you were strutting your stuff!

I find the idea fascinating that if we control what a little girl wears, she'll be LESS passive as an adult. And if we tell them that their wishes for how they look aren't acceptable, they will think MORE of themselves. How does that even make sense? Why not let them figure some things out for themselves, trust their own voice, and figure out what works for them? Wouldn't that be a better way to raise strong women who think well of themselves?

I, too, wear very different clothes than I did as a child. My teens wear very different clothes than when they were little girls. One who lived in pink for years now only wears black. My other once declared that the best thing about gold metallic crocks is that they go with EVERYTHING. She doesn't do that now.


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## lilyrn11 (Oct 19, 2010)

Well I know this will probably sound odd. We have our own pool in our fenced in back yard. Tall ficus trees surround our whole backyard property also. Now this being said our kids (7 and 5) love to go "skinny dipping". They will run around the backyard in the nude. My husband and I do not have any problems with this. Yet, if we are going out to a public pool/water park we both feel that bikinis just don't "look right" on our daughter. She does have a couple of cute tankinis with short bottoms but no bikinis. It is a personal choice. I don't judge my friends that have their daughters (same age) in bikinis. I always take my daughter to try on the bathing suits since she has a long torso and super long legs. She is more concerned about the comfort and the color than the cut of the suit so we haven't had any issues with her wanting a particular suit that we don't agree with (which I am sure will change as she becomes older).


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## parsley (May 7, 2011)

My point was that when children wear clothes that they can't move around in comfortably they become physically passive and sit on the sidelines. I think there is good evidence that kids who sit on the sidelines are likely to feel less engaged but my comment was about physically getting up and playing.

This happens in gendered and non-gendered ways. Kid wearing flip flops can't run as well as kid in sneakers... so my daughter's school doesn't allow flip flops. But, there are definitely gendered implications as well. Women have been objectified and made into display objects that are supposed to look pretty in cultures around the world and for centuries. And, there are plenty of contemporary examples as well. I can recall many examples of girls who wouldn't play a sport or game because they weren't dressed in ways that allow them to actively play... their skirt was too tight or they were wearing heels or they didn't want to get sweaty (and mess up how they look?). As a result they sat on the sidelines and watched while the mostly boys and some girls played.

I want my daughters to feel like they can be active and play. I don't know at what point it will occur to my DD1 that she's not supposed to be naked in public but when it does I don't want her to worry that her bathing suit is going to fall off. (How many hours of teenage angst-- real and pretend-- is spent on whether or not someones bikini top fell off or not when jumping in a pool or knocked off by a wave in the ocean?) Just yesterday we were at a spray park and it had this high force water fall that kids were playing under. I saw a young girl (8?) going under there but keeping her arms crossed over her chest to make sure her suit wouldn't fall off. Other kids (in at the same moment) had their arms held up and wide open to let the water hit their fingers first. Does that make the girl in the bikini passive? Maybe... maybe she decides next time that she won't go in the waterfall... and maybe that seed of doubt makes her not jump in a pool. Or maybe not.... But, for my kids, I'm not going to stack the odds toward physical passivity and self-consciousness if I can help it.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Linda on the move*
> 
> Love the suit, and love the way you were strutting your stuff!
> 
> ...


None of that means that I'm "controlling what a little girl wears" anymore than anyone else. We all decide what's in our kids clothing drawers. I have let my DD pick out her clothes every day since she was 18 months. She loves skirts, frills and her favorite color is purple. So she has sparkly purple sandals that secure on top of her foot and behind her heel. So she can still run and play. We try to find skirts that have pockets so she can carry her rock collection around with her.

But, I don't let her figure things like gender out for herself. I answer her questions and explain my ideas. When she asked why a kid at school keeps saying he doesn't want to play with girls because they only like princess stuff I explained that lots of girls watch some movies that are about princesses that get in tough situations and they have some princes come and rescue them. I then explained why I don't like those movies a)they act like there are big differences between girls and boys and I don't think that is true; b) the girls are so boring as they sit around and wait to be rescued. Then we watched Cinderella which she kind of liked and we talked about what we did like about it (the songs and the pretty dress) and what we didn't like about it. To my mind, that's how you help a kid learn to think for themselves and understand that looks aren't everything. You teach them to think, not just thrust them into the crowd to figure it out themselves.


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## parsley (May 7, 2011)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AdinaL*
> 
> I am interested in the line of thought that if they want or wear bikinis at this age they will become more passive (someone said that - don't remember who) or that they will think less of themselves, or it will start a trend in how they dress.
> 
> ...


Sorry, I deleted your quote from the first part of my reply. I don't think there is any problem with that suit either and the only reason I wouldn't let my kids wear that type is because of sun exposure.. so maybe with a million promises of reapplied sunscreen every 2 hours and a good track record I would let that one go. BUT, that's not what most bikinis (at least around where I live) look like. I wonder if styles like that are really still easy to find? In stores where kids want to shop?


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## parsley (May 7, 2011)

So I was curious to see if my observations of bikinis matched what was available in stores. I quickly checked two websites of brick and mortar stores that I know kids shop in: Justice and Old Navy. Of the 30 or so bikinis that Justice is selling this season only 2 had a top that wasn't a spaghetti strap or a tie top. Of Old Navy's stock, all of the bikinis had either a tie-top or spaghetti strap.


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## SunRise (Apr 18, 2005)

I agree with the poster about the boys swim trunks. Why are all these kids running around in swim trunks that hang down past their knees??? That must be uncomfortable for swimming, all that extra material. For as long as I could, I bought my son a bathing suit...not a speedo , but square fitted shorts. They were adorable and good until he started to take notice of what other kids were wearing (around age 4-5). Most parents thought it was cute too, but only one other boy wore that kind of bathing suit.

For girls, I abhor the one pieces with all the frills and ruffles. What does that have to do with swimming - (besides overly frilly and girly)??? I stick with plain and a bit cute...regardless of it being a one piece or two piece. My concern is sun exposure, not sexiness, (although I dont like the triangle tops, they do seem like tops for 20+ year olds).

I just bought this two piece swim suit for my 2 year old.

http://www.sweetwilliamltd.com/index.php/girls/swim/swim-suit-pink-flower.html

And to the PP with the picture - that is adorable and exactly how I remember summer times.


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *SunRise*
> 
> I just bought this two piece swim suit for my 2 year old.
> 
> ...


I want this suit for ME.


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## Neera (Jul 15, 2007)

Dd received hers. I wouldn't have seeked out one.


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## ollyoxenfree (Jun 11, 2009)

This conversation is really interesting. I see 3 different issues raised

- modesty/sexualization of children

- "fashion" for want of a better descriptor - frills and ruffles and sparkles - I see this as partly a gender issue and partly a matter of personal taste and different from the modesty issue because there are frilly, sparkly suits that aren't revealing

- practicality - ability to participate in the activity, get a good fit, ease of use (removal for bathroom etc.)

I hope I'm not taking the conversation too far OT (and ignore if I am) but I've been noticing the trend toward more frilly, sparkly athletic wear in general. Not just for young girls, but also for adult women. Fashionable, trendy sportswear companies are adding frills and ribbons and other details to their clothes. I'm thinking of Lululemon's yoga and running outfits, but there are others. Women are running marathons in tutus and tiaras. Aren't there female Olympians who wear pearls or tiaras or that kind of stuff when they compete?

Personally, it's not a trend that appeals to me. I like my clothes simple and functional and avoid frilly stuff, so I wouldn't choose athletic wear with frills. It obviously appeals to a lot of women though.


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *parsley*
> 
> So I was curious to see if my observations of bikinis matched what was available in stores. I quickly checked two websites of brick and mortar stores that I know kids shop in: Justice and Old Navy. Of the 30 or so bikinis that Justice is selling this season only 2 had a top that wasn't a spaghetti strap or a tie top. Of Old Navy's stock, all of the bikinis had either a tie-top or spaghetti strap.


It would have never occurred to me that a spaghetti strap on a swim suit was a modesty issue. There are one piece suits with spaghetti straps, too.










That is available at Old Navy (and has a spaghetti strap) but, IMO, is very much a childs swim suit.


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## BeeandOwlsMum (Jul 11, 2002)

We got DD's suit at Target. It looks something like this: http://www.target.com/p/xhilaration-girls-3-piece-tankini-set-pink/-/A-13782433#?lnk=sc_qi_detailbutton Only it has a ruffle around the waistband of the bottom. It does not cover her tummy all the way. It is not a halter top - because those bug her like they bug me. There seem to be a good amount of suits at Target - at least online - that are not stringy and tiny, but are two pieces. Though there are some that are stringy and tiny as well.

I agree with parsley about being able to move and play and be comfortable doing so. I think that is important, and I wouldn't buy her clothing she couldn't be active in. She does love her flip flops though, and truthfully can run in them pretty well. LOL

I think the conversation about a child and letting them suss out their own gender is a whole different topic, though it can relate to the choice of clothing. There is a lot that goes into gender, and a lot of it - in our society - is constructed from the outside. Letting a child determine where they fall on the gender spectrum, rather than enforcing a binary, is a challenging prospect.


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## BlueStateMama (Apr 12, 2004)

My DD (7) was begging for a bikini and I had nixed it (didn't see the need for a "bra" on a little child) but this spring, we realized when trying on bathing suits that most of the one pieces ride up on her (she's tall with a long torso.) I ditto the Lands End recommendation - I love the little ruffled bandeau (sp?) tops (straight across) and she wears it with a little matching skirt. I have my personal issues with the triangle tops so this was a good compromise in our family. Even my VERY conservative mother agrees


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## BlueStateMama (Apr 12, 2004)

Also, re modesty - we were at the pool last night and I realized that a lot of the girls' one piece suits were pretty sheer when wet. Just an FYI when shopping if that's a concern - I'd worry more about predators seeing a shade of "everything" than my daughter's 7 year old tummy.

This is the top I referred to http://www.landsend.com/pp/girls-ruffle-bandeau-top~234839_1187.html?bcc=y&action=order_more&sku_0=::UK4&CM_MERCH=IDX_swimwear-_-girls-_-shop-by-silhouette-_-tankini-bikini-tops&origin=index

and we got the skirt on the right that matches.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

My kids have not had the classic style bikini, but they're fairly young. The older one is getting older and might want one at some point. I'm not prepared to ban them in my house because it is important to me that my kids have autonomy, and also because I think banning it sends a message of sexual shaming and I don't want to do that either. And boys will eventually become interested in her regardless of what she wears. I don't think wearing a bikini makes a teenager more likely to have sex, though I do think that choosing a bikini might be an indicator that a teenager is interested in appearing sexual and could potentially consider having sex. If she chose a bikini I'd continue our discussions about relationships, respect, and sexual health, but I still don't think I'd say no to her getting one. Her interest in sex would not be changed by my forcing one bathing suit style over another.


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## Cathlin (Apr 4, 2012)

I like the snapme swimwear - easy buns access, and one piece. I think bikinis just look a bit silly on little ones.


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## chickabiddy (Jan 30, 2004)

I don't mind my daughter wearing a two-piece suit, but I won't buy anything that is designed to be sexy on a grown woman with curves -- so generally no triangle tops, skimpy bottoms, etc.. We usually swim at an indoor pool at the Y so sun coverage is a non-issue.

Her favorite suits are these: http://www.swimx.com/fibltwopi.html . She's ten, starting to develop a bit of a figure, and these are comfortable and IMO quite appropriate. She wears a girls 12-14 and a size Small in these adult suits (the XS must be meant for a very tiny person!).


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## 95191 (Nov 8, 2007)

Quote:


> My kids have not had the classic style bikini, but they're fairly young. The older one is getting older and might want one at some point. I'm not prepared to ban them in my house because it is important to me that my kids have autonomy, and also because I think banning it sends a message of sexual shaming and I don't want to do that either. *And boys will eventually become interested in her regardless of what she wears.* I don't think wearing a bikini makes a teenager more likely to have sex, though I do think that choosing a bikini might be an indicator that a teenager is interested in appearing sexual and could potentially consider having sex. If she chose a bikini I'd continue our discussions about relationships, respect, and sexual health, but I still don't think I'd say no to her getting one. Her interest in sex would not be changed by my forcing one bathing suit style over another.


YUP!

sums up how I raised my DD (now an adult)- she loves bikins and always did and she didn't turn out bad at all- I have found that those parents who were in horror of the bikini had DD's that turned out to be the wild ones! What was banned they wanted most and as adults they are far from modest despite what they were forced to wear as children.

I see most would not do well in parts of Europe with topless beaches- and I personal loved the beaches of Europe and the freedom to not worry about my top.


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

Just to be clear, I'm not horrified by anything, or shaming or whatever. It's not the *body* that's the issue for me, it's the clothing....and not even the clothing itself, but the increasing disparity between the genders. Back in the '60s, '70s, '80s, everyone had snug short shorts, middriff tops, etc. Male and female, it's what everyone wore, and the same message was being sent to everyone. Now, girls clothes are smaller, tighter, shorter, and boys clothes are bigger, looser, longer. And I just don't like what it says about how girls and boys are "supposed" to look, and what is supposed to be found attractive about them. I don't like that my 5-year-old daughter can't use the monkeybars without showing her buttcrack in a pair of low rise, boot cut flare jeans and a "fitted" tshirt that barely comes to the waistband of her jeans, but my son can be perfectly comfortable on the playground in a pair of relaxed fit or carpenter jeans that go right to his bellybutton and a tshirt that falls to the hip. I don't like that my son saw a tshirt in the girls department that he liked the logo/screen print, but wouldn't buy it because it was "fitted cut". It has NOTHING to do with shame of body....and everything to do with why my daughter is being marketed to show hers off *while* my son is marketed to cover his. Even the bermuda length shorts I found for my daughter are snug to her legs, while my son's give him ample room to play. I gave up and bought half her shorts in the boy's department so she could keep up with her brother this summer. And that SUCKS.

I know I *can* find more roomy, less fittied/tight/short clothes in stores; they tend to be the more expensive stores and the more expensive clothes. I am just fed up that walking into any major big box or department store or mainstream clothing store, the message is, "girls wear tight/short, and boys wear long/loose". I just don't like that message at all. So that's part of why I rail against "grownup" female clothes for little girls. I hate that that message is being sent younger and younger.

I wouldn't have any problems in Europe because it's the norm there, and if I was living there, it's what we would be used to. But that's not the norm here. So trying to compare it is pretty useless.

I in NO way conflate promiscuity with clothing choices, just to be clear. I am just against the disparity betwen clothing styles. I think it's a load of crap. I have nothing against being a girl/female/woman, or a woman who is of an appropriate sexual age wanting to show off her body...I just have a lot against what is being sold as the feminine or womanly in our current society VERSUS what is being sold as masculine, and what men should be looking for in a woman. And yes, it all links back to teeny bikinis on little girls vs boys swim coulottes.


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## One_Girl (Feb 8, 2008)

I was surprised to find that I am not actually okay with my dd wearing a bikini yet when it came up the other day. Luckily there were only tankinis in her size so I didn't have to cross that bridge. I had a bikini when I was ten, I was very proud of having breasts and wanted a bikini to show them off. My mom brought me to a swim shop and got me a very nice swimming one and it was also the most comfortable swimming suit I ever had. I think part of my reluctance is that I am sad to see my little girl come to the age where she wants a bikini, not that I really care about the bikini itself. I do worry about the wierdos out there who might see my dd in a bikini though. We had a nasty incident where a guy stalked a little girl in our state so that also plays a small part in my worry. I also worry that she will see herself in a more grown up light earlier than she should, like I did. When we get to a time when my dd insists on a bikini though I will buy her a very nice one at a swim store just like my mom did for me because even though I am reluctant I don't think my mom worries outweigh her decision to choose. I am still going to try to engage her interest in tankinis for as long as I can though.


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## transylvania_mom (Oct 8, 2006)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *The4OfUs*
> 
> I wouldn't have any problems in Europe because it's the norm there, and if I was living there, it's what we would be used to. But that's not the norm here. So trying to compare it is pretty useless.


I agree with you. When I mentioned how kids dress in Europe it was just to illustrate that the idea of "bikini = sexualization and promiscuity" is more a cultural thing. Now when in Rome... I put a bra on my 2 y/o and don't dress my son in speedos (although I was tempted for a while).


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## Peony (Nov 27, 2003)

Interesting. I grew up on the beach or in a river and all I remember wearing is little bikinis, course this is before sun protection days. Now you couldn't get me into a string bikini for anything despite being a smaller size. And short shorts or sheer tops? Not happening either! Like I said before, my DD1 wears a little bikini now. We tried MANY to find one that fit well. It obviously doesn't stop her because she was doing cartwheels into the pool there other day with her little friend that is a boy and his big teen age brother. Being where we live now, almost all of our bathing suit wearing time are at in-door pools so I do not worry about sun protection. When she white water kayaks, we breakout the rash guards for protection.

I did notice the first several times she wore the suit, I felt like I had to explain to everything we saw (small town) how she ended up in a little bikini. I was feeling that bikini on a child equals a bad mother. I was allowing her to buy into the culture. And then I realized that for my family, and my daughter, I don't care. I wore bikinis and turned out fine. Bikinis are NOT stopping DD1 being an active girl. And I don't buy into that I am grooming her to be passive. I had to gently try to explain why a girl who is starting to change should not strip in front of her 10 year old friend from school who is a boy and does "like" her and does not have sisters. She really did not understand. She kept telling me "but Mom, it is just a body, everyone has one.". A bit of a free spirit there!


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## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

I don't have a certain age in mind regarding when I'd allow DD to wear bikini. Really, it wouldn't bother me at all if she wanted to wear one now (she's 11), or when she was younger, or when she's a teen. That would be up to her. As it is, she likes full-coverage two pieces (tankinis, I guess, but I ones that cover her entire tummy like a one-piece would). She also likes the swim skirts.

Bikinis aren't a big deal to me. I used to wear them - as a teen and young adult. Even as a mom of several children I wore one. I wish I was in shape currently - I'd buy one.


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## Choose2Reuse (Feb 27, 2012)

Not that I've had to deal with this yet, luckily...but when my DD gets older, the rule is going to be based on the cut of the suit (or whatever clothes), not necessarily how many pieces it comes in. I love tankinis, personally, and I'd have no problem with that. Along similar lines, I've seen little girls' short skirts that are just cute and small-girl-ish, and little girls' short skirts that look like something a trashy teenybopper would wear. The first is okay with me, the second is not. As other posters have said, it's not the amount of skin so much as whether the clothing is sexualizing.

My rule isn't based on other people looking though...I think sickos will look no matter what. I just feel that out of self-respect and some personal modesty, women shouldn't wear overly sexualizing clothes (at least in public  though heck, everyone can flout the rules sometimes if they want--I'm not for banning bikinis or anything)...and that goes doubly for young girls who are too small to really understand the whole issue.


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## Adaline'sMama (Apr 16, 2010)

Id do these:
http://www.infashionkids.com/wabi.html
http://flyonthefaulknerwall.wordpress.com/2012/06/08/more-from-the-beach/

But not these:

http://www.google.com/imgres?hl=en&client=firefox-a&hs=HMt&sa=X&rls=org.mozilla:en-USfficial&biw=1680&bih=813&tbm=isch&prmd=imvns&tbnid=IflordfHABGfgM:&imgrefurl=http://thestir.cafemom.com/baby/124979/the_most_jawdroppingly_awful_baby&docid=3ns3T_vXKjE50M&imgurl=http://cdn-ugc.cafemom.com/gen/resize/298/381/80/2011/08/24/11/cc/th/poofdnjk00.png&w=298&h=381&ei=IS_mT_6hFoWS9QTBgLXHAQ&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=1441&vpy=148&dur=3328&hovh=254&hovw=198&tx=69&ty=213&sig=111039209974769810425&page=2&tbnh=141&tbnw=107&start=32&ndsp=51&ved=1t:429,r:9,s:32,i:209

http://www.google.com/imgres?hl=en&client=firefox-a&hs=PcY&rls=org.mozilla:en-USfficial&biw=1680&bih=813&tbm=isch&tbnid=gH5dspnAkwHWDM:&imgrefurl=http://www.aliexpress.com/product-fm/536048192-wholesale-2012-new-TOP-BABY-foot-flower-shoes-baby-boots-cute-TODDLER-prewalker-shoes-CPAM-wholesalers.html&docid=W550UVTnk-TpzM&imgurl=http://i00.i.aliimg.com/wsphoto/v0/535749360/EMS-DHL-free-shipping-kid-stylish-zebra-stripe-print-babay-girl-bikini-mini-skirt-kid-lace.jpg&w=328&h=336&ei=BS7mT76aOIK68ATS7NCiAQ&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=1417&vpy=4&dur=5786&hovh=227&hovw=222&tx=76&ty=167&sig=111039209974769810425&page=1&tbnh=137&tbnw=137&start=0&ndsp=39&ved=1t:429,r:38,s:0,i:190

Sorry so long, i couldnt make the shortcut work. For me, its all about the cut and the print. I dont think little girls belong in things that accentuates their chest area and has the same print that many grown women wear to be sexy.

edited for terrible spelling.


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## lunarlady (Jan 4, 2010)

My DD also loves swimsuits where her "tummy hangs out". She is 5. To meet this request I recently bought a tankini and she is thrilled. Before this I choose long sleeve rash guards and skirted bottoms. Not for modestly, but because getting her to stand still for sunscreen application is a serious challenge. I personally don't like bikinis, but that is because my child's shape isn't suited to them. She is like a narrow egg, widest in the middle at her belly and smoothly shrinking all the way up. So all bikinis ride up on her. How could they not? Unlike a grown woman, there is nothing on her body to prevent the sliding. If my DD was a different shape, I would allow it. But then again the fortune I would spend on sunscreen would be substantial.

I also like 2 pieces for the bathroom issue. As a child I struggled with my one piece, so I regularly peed in the pool.







Two pieces really are easier to manage when they are sticky and wet and need to pee NOW.

My DD also regulary wears "boy clothing". Right now she is sleeping In very baggy Spiderman PJ's. So I let her get whatever she wants to wear as long as it is safe and I trust that as she grows her self confidence will allow her free self expression.


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## missnoodlesmom (Oct 22, 2007)

I prefer tankinis for all the reasons mentioned (mostly what is functional for a little girl who swims well and jumps and dives). My mom got my 5 y/o some shorter tankini tops this year (they looked longer on the computer screen than they are) but she's still able to play without being affected so I'm fine with it.


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## Lisa Crouch (Jun 24, 2012)

I think it is fine, it is however ridiculous seeing a 6 MONTH old baby wearing a triangle bikini hehe with their little fat rolls showing


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## Emmeline II (Feb 16, 2006)

Both my children wear long sleeve rash guard shirts due to sun exposure. Ds isn't thrilled about the shirt (navy--land's end, I think) but is fine with the long board shorts (super hero-with draw string) which is all that can be found locally; I still have shorts I ordered for him 2 years ago from LE that his waist hasn't grown into yet. Dd is all about frilly girliness so I bought her a skirted bottom with ruffle to go with her long sleeved rash guard shirt (lime green with daisies). My top would be called a tank (I think) with a med skirt bottom; I also added zipper front, short sleeved rash guard this year that I put on when I leave the shade as I always get too much sun on my shoulders. One pieces were always uncomfortable for me due to my torso length (and super annoying for trips to the toilet), and just as annoying when I had one for dd.

Whether a bathing suit is one or two piece, they both end up showing more cheek than they are intended to do no matter what the age of the wearer. I'll probably continue to insist on a rash guard but give in on the bikini bottoms--the surfer look.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *SunRise*
> 
> For girls, I abhor the one pieces with all the frills and ruffles. What does that have to do with swimming - (besides overly frilly and girly)??? I stick with plain and a bit cute...regardless of it being a one piece or two piece. My concern is sun exposure, not sexiness, (although I dont like the triangle tops, they do seem like tops for 20+ year olds).
> 
> ...


What does "cuteness" have to do with swimming







? and I don't think a floral print is any less "girly" than ruffles. If you really want avoid both cuteness/girliness and exposure issues I'd go with a solid primary color rash guard shirt with shorts.


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## samanthasmom (Jun 18, 2006)

so after some debate in our home my dd got this bathing suit.

http://www.target.com/p/xhilaration-girls-3pc-bikini-set-purple-white/-/A-13780161

we went to a spray park and she wore it there, but only for a couple of hours because of the sun. then she put on the swim shirt with no problems.


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## transylvania_mom (Oct 8, 2006)

Very cute, I love it!


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## parsley (May 7, 2011)

Glad you found a compromise that worked for all of you


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## KaliShanti (Mar 23, 2008)

Nope. We do swim shirts and boy short bottoms here. That's how I dress from swimming as well. Reasons of modesty and practicality.


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## amcal (Jan 13, 2003)

Um, 18? I will never buy my girls a bikini,

It's interesting that I'm reading this today. We just came home from 2 days at the water park. I admit, I cringed when I saw young and teenage girls in bikinis. I hate the way they look.
I just don't see the purpose of a bikini. Why is it necessary to expose so much skin? The young girls and teens were also constantly pulling and picking at their tops and bottoms.

Plus, I've had 2 melanomas, likely due to sun exposure as a child. I see absolutely no benefit to exposing our skin to that much sun. So, we do either a one piece with a skirt and a long sleeve rash guard or board shorts with a long tankini top and a long sleeve rash guard.

DH and I were talking about this at the park too. He also felt it was completely inappropriate the way these kids were dressed. And we both found it interesting that the majority of boys wore board shorts and rash guards while the girls wore bikinis.


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## AAK (Aug 12, 2004)

i have always allowed two piece suits and they don't have to be a tankini. However, I wouldn't allow "just any" two piece (or one piece) suit. I wouldn't choose a bikini for my 5 year old that looks like it should be on a young adult. I also wouldn't choose a toddler suit for my 12 year old. Now that my oldest is 12, we know that she will start attracting attention from boys. Right now, we look at the swimsuit on a case by case basis. One requirement is that she can play beach volleyball without worry. So, if the suit doesn't cover enough or fit well enough for her to move around (without worry) then that suit doesn't belong on her. I second the recommendation for Land's End. Their two piece suits for young girls cover well and don't look skanky in the least. Amy


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## JudiAU (Jun 29, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AAK*
> 
> i have always allowed two piece suits and they don't have to be a tankini. However, I wouldn't allow "just any" two piece (or one piece) suit. I wouldn't choose a bikini for my 5 year old that looks like it should be on a young adult. I also wouldn't choose a toddler suit for my 12 year old. Now that my oldest is 12, we know that she will start attracting attention from boys. Right now, we look at the swimsuit on a case by case basis. One requirement is that she can play beach volleyball without worry. So, if the suit doesn't cover enough or fit well enough for her to move around (without worry) then that suit doesn't belong on her. I second the recommendation for Land's End. Their two piece suits for young girls cover well and don't look skanky in the least. Amy


DS (just turned 5) was sort of annoyed at the pool this year that he had to wear a long sleeved shirt and other kids were wearing short sleeved "rash guards." DH took off his shirt and showed him the horrible scarring all over his back from semi-cancerous removals a few years ago. It helped make it clear.


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## karne (Jul 6, 2005)

It would be super interesting to see this discussion in the teen forum......maybe I'll raise it there. We didn't do 2 pieces when dd was young. As a preteen she did one pieces, tankini's, rash guards, and full body surf suits. As a teen she has taken a pretty strong stand about wanting to wear bikini's this summer. I think it has everything to do with becoming aware of herself, the fact that she can wear them well, and she is enjoying this particular part of her life right now. I am not going to freak out about it. She's bought some of her own suits, I found a few that were modest by bikini standards, and she has surf shorts to wear with them. Honestly, most of her friends are doing the same thing at this point. We talk about covering up out of the water, and have some cute cover up dresses. She swims like a fish and hasn't really had any issues with her suits, so far 

I am not interested in controlling what my dd wears, except in teaching her about being socially appropriate, and being aware of unwanted attention, and how to deal with it. She's very pretty and gets stared at no matter what she's wearing. Maybe I would take a stronger stand if she was way out there with a very adult suit, but we are talking the juniors suits.


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## pigpokey (Feb 23, 2006)

I grew up in the 70s in Florida and we wore bare midriff halter tops to school in elementary. It was hot.

I don't care what my daughter wears as long as it covers her privates and does not alienate her from her high functioning peers and open up her and the family to scorn. I would object to trashy suits at the pool club the same way I would object to her wearing a full coverage Confederate flag shirt that said "The South Will Rise Again." But a cute bikini from the Gap I have no problem with.

You guys may or may not have seen the new "microbutt" trend in swim team practice suits, OMG. But they are becoming the new normal. At least the girls are working out hard in them.


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## SweetSilver (Apr 12, 2011)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *The4OfUs*
> 
> Some may say I'm reading too much into clothing. I go on seasonal school clothes shopping rants about why little girl's shorts have a half inch inseams and are tight, and little boy's shorts have a 4- inch inseam and have room to move. Why little girls' jeans are skinny/boot cut/low rise, and little boys are relaxed fit/carpenter. Why little girls' bathing suits are minimally and strategically placed, and boy's board shorts are practically coulottes - ever seen a pair of Speedo swim briefs in a boy's section of a regular clothing store?


This disparity drives me nuts!

We wear one-piece suits here, for now. DD1 had to use a 2-piece tankini because she was forever in between sizes in the summer, but now we are buying the 1-pieces from Hanna Andersson when they are on sale. I don't like spaghetti straps, but the comfy-wide ones (crossed in the back for either). *I just keep thinking of all the annoying suits I've owned*, and for jumping and diving and heavy play I always found 1-pieces to be the best for me.

The triangle tops just seem a bit silly looking to me, but reading this thread has starting me questioning myself as to why. I think to myself, those triangles are there to cover up, what?, little girl nipples only? I don't know. My girls' friend wore one to the beach the other day. She looked fine, but I still think those triangles are way too silly and designed as wannabe-sexy. But as long as it stays on, is comfortable, etc. I don't have much of a problem. High heels for little girls, however......

OP, that suit looks perfect.


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *pigpokey*
> 
> You guys may or may not have seen the new "microbutt" trend in swim team practice suits, OMG. But they are becoming the new normal. At least the girls are working out hard in them.


I'm almost afraid to ask, but the curiosity is killing me....what exactly does this trend involve? "Microbutt swimsuit" was not a productive search, so I tried googling so pictures for "swim team suits 2012" but came up empty. I'm cringing as I ask: What exactly is a microbutt? I have many images in my head, and I'm not sure which one may be correct.


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *pigpokey*
> 
> You guys may or may not have seen the new "microbutt" trend in swim team practice suits, OMG. But they are becoming the new normal. At least the girls are working out hard in them.


ok you cant put microbutt and OMG next to each other and not give more info!!!!

what is IT? i am dying to know. i even did a quick search on gooogle.

i have to say i like the design of this angelina jolie's bikini just coz its different but then again - emphasising the impossible body http://freenewfashiondesign.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/celebrity-bikini-fashion-trend.jpg


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

I think that's Lindsay Lohan; that is a GREAT suit. I've got no beef with adult women wearing bikinis if that's what they want. Showing off your bod in a sexy suit is your perogrative, and if you've got it, flaunt it! My point is that prepubescent girls don't "got it" quite yet, so flaunting "it" is not something I think is a great idea.


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## pigpokey (Feb 23, 2006)

Apparently the actual phrase is not microbutt but "minimalist training suit" or minimalist workout suit.


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

YOWZA! I can't believe those stay put. Technology is amazing.


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *The4OfUs*
> My point is that prepubescent girls don't "got it" quite yet, so flaunting "it" is not something I think is a great idea.


see but that's not what they are doing. they are not flaunting it. its just something they like to wear, just like strawberry icecream is their favourite flavor.

so when we see a 4 year old in a bikini why do we think of 'got it' and flaunting - ya know. WE might be thinking it, but THEY are not.

to me its all in the mind. perceptions.

a 4 year old wants to wear a bikini. to me its the same as asking for strawberry icecream or a barbie doll or a purse. she wants it - i get it. and she is done in her own time. or that is not your family philosophy. so no - no bikini.

dunno i feel sometimes (at least in my case) i have too much time on my hands and make mountain out of molehills. esp. looking back as my dd grows older i find i so worried and wasted time over little things that certainly werent worth the weight i put on them.

and hey you are right. no tattoos. that's Lohan for sure.


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## Peony (Nov 27, 2003)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *meemee*
> 
> see but that's not what they are doing. they are not flaunting it. its just something they like to wear, just like strawberry icecream is their favourite flavor.
> 
> ...


Exactly!!!!! We are pushing our adult notions on to them. A 4 or 6 or 10 year old does not have any concept of flaunting it, now a 16 year old is probably trying to. In this day and age a pedifile has more resources at the tips of his fingers then staking out the local pool. Not to say it doesn't happen. It my mind, it almost seems that we are just feeding into the phenomenon that a woman or girl here, is asking for trouble based on what she is wearing.


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## 95191 (Nov 8, 2007)

Quote:


> so when we see a 4 year old in a bikini why do we think of 'got it' and flaunting - ya know. WE might be thinking it, *but THEY are not. *












the 4 year old looks at her mom in the bikini and wants that just like she wants a purse like mom's- and even if mom doesn't wear one some even look at other moms that do and want to be like those moms


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## Sharlla (Jul 14, 2005)

dd's first swim suit is a bikini.


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## MrsBone (Apr 20, 2004)

The only problem I see with it is that so much of the skin is exposed to the UV rays, and so much sunscreen has chemicals, that I'd rather my kids be covered with swim clothes than sunscreen. I buy natural sunscreen, and honestly its much easier to put swim clothes and a little sunscreen on than having to slather sunscreen all over their body. I want to teach the importance of safety in the sun and until they're old enough to make their own decision about it, they will be as covered as possible! I don't want peer pressure to have a say in what swim attire my daughter wears. I'm not saying yours does but I'm sure she's seen other girls in bikinis and that's probably why she wants to wear them.


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## SunRise (Apr 18, 2005)

I was at a small beach the other day, perhaps 15+ people. I took note of what the kids were wearing.

Besides my niece who is 8 (and wearing a "bikini" - bikini bottoms with a top that covered her entire front (triangle top/top, skirted bottom), and ties in the back), my 2 year old (in a sun suit / bikini) and my 9 year old son, swim trunks & bare chested (someone above thought a bikini exposes lots of skin, but so do boys trunks, even though they are long, the upper half is all bare) and a bunch of other younger kids and a couple other girls approximately 10-12, in various types of bikinis. Not one child was strutting or being flirtatious or posing / being sexy. They were a bunch of kids having fun in the sun, frolicking in the sand, running up and down the beach, playing in the water and not giving particular attention to anyone else.


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Sharlla*
> 
> dd's first swim suit is a bikini.


oh Sharla what a BEAUTIFUL picture. i dont even see the bikini. i see a child having so much FUN. what a joy to see.


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## One_Girl (Feb 8, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *The4OfUs*
> 
> I think that's Lindsay Lohan; that is a GREAT suit. I've got no beef with adult women wearing bikinis if that's what they want. Showing off your bod in a sexy suit is your perogrative, and if you've got it, flaunt it! My point is that prepubescent girls don't "got it" quite yet, so flaunting "it" is not something I think is a great idea.


I don't think prepubescent girls are thinking about flaunting anything, they are thinking about having a neat suit they like and many other people, young and old, also wear. I just realized that my dd's tankini top is one that has a "adult" cut at the top but it isn't anything that concerns me and it hasn't made her act differently. I think a bikini, will be the same once she gets one and I don't think it will make a difference in how she acts or sees herself. It may change how some parents see her but around here she is late coming into possession of a bikini so it shouldn't be an issue.

I agree with the many posters who have pointed out that the adult ideas we have about bikinis aren't the same as the ideas the children wearing bikinis have. I am glad this discussion is taking place because it has helped me work through my worry about my dd wanting a bikini.


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## bri276 (Mar 24, 2005)

With DD1 I was against it because I thought it was part of the early sexualization of children in our society. But with DD2...I just didn't feel that way any more, and bought a cute bikini for her when she was just 9 months old. I still wouldn't buy one that said JUICY on the butt, though!

It's really a lot easier to change diapers on a squiggly baby that way.

HOWEVER- if they're really going to get a lot of sun, I try to have them in rash guards for sun protection. Most of the ones we have are two piece, like a t-shirt and full butt coverage bottoms.


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

I am apparently not conveying myself well. I am not in any way implying that little girls who wear bikinis are flaunting anything, nor thinking about it; that teenagers or women who wear bikinis are "looking for trouble", or that there is anything wrong with bikinis in general. I think the human body is an amazing, beautiful thing and that bikinis can look killer when the right suit on the right person. We go to no great lengths to cover up in our house when transitioning from showers to dressed, so we are not button-ed up totally modest people over here, either.

My problems are that clothing manufacturers and fashion industry are marketing "sex sells" younger and younger to girls in every season of clothing, in dolls, in all other forms of media/advertising, while boys are being covered up by looser and bigger clothes (but also being programmed that girls should be wearing much less than they are). Sometimes it's subtle, sometimes it's blatant. I don't like the message it sends, period.

A boy's torso may be exposed when he's wearing just board shorts, but he is completely covered from his waist to his knees in billowy fabric.....not in a pair of tight, small underwear and no top. Huge difference.

Again: If *everyone* was dressing this way, in shorter, tighter clothes ( a la the 70s, 80s), then it wouldn't be as big of a deal to me. When I look at pictures of me as a kid, all of us were wearing shorts that were mid thigh and snug, fitted tshirts, tube socks; boys and girls. I cannot find a pair of shorts for my son in a local storefront that is above bermuda length or are fitted, but 75%+ of the shorts for my daughter at the same stores don't even approach mid-thigh and are very snug. I can find bermudas for her, but even those are snug. THIS is the problem I have with clothing in general, and it extends to bikinis. Not that little girls think they're flaunting anything, but that girls are expected to have that as a choice of normal, but boys aren't. I hate it.


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

so heather what you are saying is you dont like the genderization of the clothes that are happening now right?

like if boys are loose and flowy so should girls be that way.

so there should be bermudas loose that are in pink and blue right?!!!

i think you bring up a very good point about blending in. what if everyone is wearning a bikini but your child wears a one piece? clothes is one area people DO tease.


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

I don't think there's any real "should be", that's the point. I don't think all girls should be wearing coulottes and all boys should be wearing short shorts. I just don't like the expectation/implication that having one gender of children's clothing being mostly small/short and snug, and the other's mostly big/long and loose brings about. What is the message being sent? Not one that I like or agree with.


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## 95191 (Nov 8, 2007)

Quote:


> What is the message being sent?


that the majority do not feel like you do

it's a consumer driven market and it sells- at my local Target there were no bikinis even left for young girls- only a few one piece outfits

children's clothing reflects adults and their desires- if the demand wasn't there neither would the items

we don't desire (as a society) to see larger woman in covered up bathing suits- what sells is the opposite and men don't seem to be getting thinner and wanting to have smaller suits so you won't see thin types for young boy

majority dictates fashion

you may not like the message but it won't change unless the majority change their mindset


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

I fully realize that I'm in the minority, but it doesn't stop me from getting irked about it.


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *The4OfUs*
> 
> I fully realize that I'm in the minority, but it doesn't stop me from getting irked about it.


hey i dont mind you being irked about it. what i would like to do is understand your point of view. it helps me understand how i look at it.

but hasnt the disparity in clothing always been there? historically? except for the 80s 90s (however i wont say i really know about fashions in the last 100 years). i'm thinking of the typical 1800s fashion and those before where men wore tight clothes and women wore loose gowns with corsets inside. i mean werent there a disparity in clothes most of the times with genders?

on another level hasnt the demand always been there? when i was growing up there were no bikinis or even bras for 3 4 year olds. so what i had to do was wear my moms bra and stuff them. however dd didnt have to do that because she had her own bra at 3 that she was sooooo proud of. she never had to wear mine the way i wore my mom's.

but yes i totally agree with the capitalist consumption. the whole make your money while you can. if there is a desire fulfill it. if there is none then create it.

the way the bikini irks you, its the bottle of pasta sauce that irks me the most. get people more addicted to processed food. make it easier to eat- harp on no cooking but spending time with your family - so no one needs to eat whole foods and thus the corporations can make money. so why grow a great tasty tomato that you cant make money on - make pasta or pizza sauce.

i guess what i am discovering Heather is that the bikini irks you, but its the food industry that irks me. because most of america does not cook anymore. they just assemble - which they call cooking. and one day that's going to cost us a great deal. which it already does.


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## k x s (May 16, 2012)

I would never dress my daughter in a bikini, personally. I think its a combination of things. Bikinis aren't inherently practical. They are flimsy, expose too much skin to the sun and could impede fun. Also they fall under the same category as racy underwear in my mind. In that sense they don't align with my values. Because I do personally believe that bikinis are just for attracting attention and that a ten year old shouldn't be mimicking that sort of behaviour. You are going to the beach presumably to have a swim and splash about, not for the opportunity to wear a cute bra like some particular adults. A bikini to me is placing an adult expectation on the way a girl should look, so going to the beach stops being about having a swim and also starts to be about wearing the right sort of thing.


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *meemee*
> 
> i guess what i am discovering Heather is that the bikini irks you, but its the food industry that irks me. because most of america does not cook anymore. they just assemble - which they call cooking. and one day that's going to cost us a great deal. which it already does.


Oh, that irks me, too.







I'm finding the older I'm getting, the more grossed out I am by our society as a whole - I think humans can be awesome and many, many are from all walks of life, but the mainstream, popular culture that is presented in the media is so disconnected from a lot of what *made* us human and connected that it makes me sad. Re: clothing, that's just one of many issues I take with women's issues in society. And yes, the disparity has been there for a long, long time, but has not seemed to be as increasingly hypersexualized as it is in recent decades. Also the older I get, the less I want my daughter to have to deal with the BS - she is a little girl with a WIDE range of interests, and I do NOT want that squashed by the culture machine, nor do I want her to think she owes it to society, or anyone to be pretty/attractive. This is a HUGE thing for me, because I will admit I bought into all of it when I was younger....until about the last 10-15 years or so, really - I was raised to think that beyond being smart and capable that it was also important that I look appealing, and while I don't think it necessarily scarred me, I do think it's a crock. My only obligations to society, IMO, are to be a decent, contributing person. Looking as good (or bad) as *I* want to is what matters. How I look has NOTHING to do with my worth or value to society, nor should it bear on how I am treated. But alas, that is not the society we live in, so I find the older I get and the older my daughter gets, the more vocal I am becoming about these particular topics. Beyond that, making sure my son doesn't wind up contributing to the problem and this topic alone feels like a full time job!!

ERM, sorry for the threadjack!!!


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## 95191 (Nov 8, 2007)

Quote:


> Bikinis aren't inherently practical.


personally as another poster mentioned I find them extremely practical! I never wear a one piece - they make going potty great-quick and easy!

I over heard a mother today complain how she was throwing away the one piece when they got home because of what a PIA it is to pull up a wet suit on squirmy toddler.


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## Sharlla (Jul 14, 2005)

i actually just pull the crotch over to side to use the bathroom, very simple


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *The4OfUs*
> Oh, that irks me, too.
> 
> 
> ...


oh gosh heather. that is my BIGGEST fear now. gosh i am turning into such a CROTCHETY old woman.

but i am really working on not doing that. i am trying to see that society isnt all about grossed out. i am trying to see all the good there is around you know. which means i dont watch fox news but i know that NPR and democracy now and foreign media DOES exist.

the one big thing i dont like about myself is i can become way too pompous with a holier than thou attitude. and i dont want to be that. i dont want to see society as bad. i look back at my mom and i see the same things which today are normal for us - used to irk her so much.

that really isnt true. while yes main society is fooled a lot, but good parts do exist.

its capitalism and deculturization that disgusts me today. we all go how terrible the slave trade was. compared to todays women and children slavery the holocaust and the total americas slave trade was just a drop in the ocean (well maybe a bucket in the ocean). today the amount of people in slavery (mostly women and children) is the biggest than the world has ever seen.

but there is so much more also going on. so much good stuff. like microloans (to me that whole program is ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT based totally on trust and morality), people helping people on a one to one basis. that is so rising.

so i am trying to focus on the miracles happening around and not try to focus only on the bad things ya know. i dont want to die a embittered, sad woman.


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## Adaline'sMama (Apr 16, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Sharlla*
> 
> i actually just pull the crotch over to side to use the bathroom, very simple


Me too.


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## 95191 (Nov 8, 2007)

Quote:


> i actually just pull the crotch over to side to use the bathroom, very simple


you clean a butt this way too? or isn't it really cleaned?

please explain how you get a toddler to do this too?

I'm really curious since both of mine held on to the toilet and couldn't not even do this own their own- and certainly would not feel comfortable doing it since is goes against how we normally go-how is this done?


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## Adaline'sMama (Apr 16, 2010)

My 2 year old moves her crotch over and squats to pee. But only outside at our house or somewhere where peeing outside is okay. Otherwise, she has a diaper on.

I move my crotch to pee, not to poo. I take my whole swimsuit off to poo.


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## 95191 (Nov 8, 2007)

Quote:


> My 2 year old moves her crotch over and squats to pee. But only outside at our house or somewhere where peeing outside is okay.


that doesn't work at our local pool-big NO NO


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

I just had a very comical memory of when I was a teenager and dancing 5 days a week, and being able to pee without taking my bodysuit off by p-u-l-l-i-n-g my tights wayyy down on the sides, then pulling the crotch of the bodysuit over. I can only imagine the pain/mess that would have been involved if my tension/grip broke and it all snapped back on me. God bless lycra/spandex!


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Adaline'sMama*
> 
> My 2 year old moves her crotch over and squats to pee. But only outside at our house or somewhere where peeing outside is okay. Otherwise, she has a diaper on.
> I move my crotch to pee, not to poo. I take my whole swimsuit off to poo.


wow!!! that's amazing. my 9 year old cant do it. in fact when we go camping we carry an yoghurt container for her to pee in.


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## Honey693 (May 5, 2008)

Pulling the crotch over only works if your kid is not a stubborn child. Mine would pee her pants before she did that.


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## Evan&Anna's_Mom (Jun 12, 2003)

I'm in the "it has to be practical" camp for my 9 YO DD. But that changes depending on the occasion, which is why she has lots of suits and they are a mix of styles. IMHO, a "string bikini" is never practical for a child. (And it probably shouldn't be for a grown woman but that's a different set of posts.) But a two piece can be great when she has to wear a swim suit under clothing at camp and she won't be swimming until the afternoon. Otherwise she has to take off everything to go to the restroom -- standing on the floor in bare feet with clothing piled on dirty floor -- yuck! But if she is going to be diving through the waves in the ocean, a one-piece makes more sense because it is more likely to stay on. And a one piece is less likely to get a rash on her tummy from boogie-boarding. Swim shirts come off and on depending on weather, sun, length of time outside etc. But then, we live in So. CA and she wears a swimsuit at least once a day in the summer, so it makes sense for us to have several on hand. If I were limited to one, I would probably choose something between a two piece and a tankini as the most practical "all purpose" suit, with a swim suit/rash guard to go with. And, of course, her preferences count too -- she should feel good about the way she looks and like the clothes she wears.

Choosing any clothing generally means a conversation about practical clothing from all sorts of angles -- does it stay put, will it be in the way, does it fit, does it itch, is it appropriate for the occasion, can I wash it... but also does she like the color, does she like the way it looks, does it make her feel good, is she comfortable with the message it sends... Doesn't really matter if its a fancy party dress or a swim suit.


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## Adaline'sMama (Apr 16, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *meemee*
> 
> wow!!! that's amazing. my 9 year old cant do it. in fact when we go camping we carry an yoghurt container for her to pee in.


Wait, you mean she won't pee outside? I think that is pretty normal, but we live on a farm and are often pretty far away from the house (meaning, a toilet), so DD has been peeing outside for a while now. Most little kids arent in situations where they pee outside very often.


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## Sharlla (Jul 14, 2005)

i hate peeing outside, we camp/swim at places that have a bathroom.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

I would rather pull down a swimsuit bottom than pull over the crotch to pee, and I'm guessing my girls feel the same.


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## bri276 (Mar 24, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *mamazee*
> 
> I would rather pull down a swimsuit bottom than pull over the crotch to pee, and I'm guessing my girls feel the same.


Yeah, there is no way my 6yr old would do it. She has a very set idea of right and wrong, and usuing public bathrooms and porta potties is challenging enough for her already!


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## dogretro (Jun 17, 2008)

Two-piece, yes, bikini, no. By two-piece I mean a tankini (NOT a halter top style bikini) or a shirt with bottoms. In the US, many chain stores routinely carry the shirt/bottom style for girls now, even in toddlers. I don't wear a one-piece myself, but I was not allowed to have a halter style bikini until 10 or 11 & I see no problem w/ that whatsoever. I prefer some modesty for my girls and I do not see how a bikini of any kind is remotely modest.


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## anj_rn (Oct 1, 2009)

I guess my question for you would be is there anytime when you feel that a bikini would be inappropriate? Like if she gets boobs in 5th grade, are you going to want her to wear a 1-piece because the 2 piece makes her look to old? If so, then I would say no. My mom let me wear 2 pieces when I was little. Then when I started to develop, she freaked and wanted me back in one pieces. I really thought she was ashamed of my body.

I do not have a problem with 2 pieces, but my kids do not swim without a parent, so I do not worry about people looking at them. We live in the south, so we usually do swim shirts (even my son), to minimize the sun exposure. DD has a 2 piece with a swim shirt top. I wear a tankini.


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Adaline'sMama*
> 
> Wait, you mean she won't pee outside? I think that is pretty normal, but we live on a farm and are often pretty far away from the house (meaning, a toilet), so DD has been peeing outside for a while now. Most little kids arent in situations where they pee outside very often.


no she will pee outside but she hasnt perfected the squat method without getting her pants wet. so she pees in a cup and then waters the plants with it.








instead of using a feminine urinary director http://www.rei.com/product/407267/sani-fem-freshette-feminine-urinary-director we use a yoghurt container.

she is little miss perfection. one drop on her and she has to change.


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