# Swimming instruction



## Peepsqueak (Jul 5, 2005)

I had my kids in swimming lessons at the YMCA and I was curious as to how the lessons can be taught without scaring kids half to death. It was painful for me to watch my youngest and I would not force him to get in the water if he did not want to but the teachers often let the kids cry while swimming. They are terrified but are swimming or being taught to stay afloat in the deep end. I am a good swimmer myself and took a life guard course as a young teenager. I could teach them myself but I think swimming instruction requires a little more savvy in teaching techniques.

I thought maybe they could use floaties, paddle boards, etc to make the kids more confident in the water. Also, I have seen people train their children as early as 3 monthes to swim and they have no fear of the water.

Anyone else have experience with this? If so, what should I look for in their next swimming lessons. I do not think I will do the Y next year.....


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## fremontmama (Jun 11, 2004)

I dont have any advice, but I remember taking swim lessons at the YMCA when I was a kid and I remember it to be slightly traumatic. The instructors were very tough and there were a lot of us who did cry sometimes. I remember it was the first time I heard someone use the word "garbage" when referring to someone's behavior, as in "I dont want to hear that garbage anymore" I still remember that after 30 years! Crazy.
Maybe since you are a great swimmer you could do your own thing with your kids on the weekend and just have a month of Sundays or something where you have an afternoon at the pool or whatever?.....


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## fremontmama (Jun 11, 2004)

Im sorry







I just noticed you had written you thought you might not be the best choice for teaching them to swim. But maybe that might work, I am sure they would have more fun with you than some mean old teacher


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## Evan&Anna's_Mom (Jun 12, 2003)

I don't think all Y's are alike in this regard. Both my kids are in their second summer at the Y classes. DS on his own and DD in "toddler/parent class". I have never heard a child cry during all of this time. Rather, the few times I've heard tears they have been comforted by teacher or by parent immediately. For the youngest kids, our Y has a beginning class that parents can get into the water too if it makes it easier. The only times I've seen a child continue in tears is when parents were really forcing them to continue without being comforting. E.g. parent response to tears is "get back in the water and do what your teacher tells you" sort of thing. Then the teachers hands are pretty tied and I always feel sorry for everyone involved. I know that our Y teachs the teachers to let the kids go at their own pace and to make decisions about what they want to do. I'm sorry yours is different.

If you want lessons, you may want to look at some different options and ask very specifically about the policy regarding tears and fears. At least here there are lots of choices -- though some are more expensive than others. Our Y also offers private lessons and maybe with those you would have more control over how your child is handled? I do know that I couldn't teach my kids to swim. I'm not that good and I have a head-under-water phobia, so I'm really not a good role model on this one!


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## WonderWild (May 13, 2004)

This is the 2nd year my ds and I are in the parent/child class at the Y. I have never witnessed any of the older kids crying though when they are in their class which is near us. If you don't feel comfortable with that Y b/c of what happened with your other child I would find a different one or do it yourself. It might be easier for them to learn from someone else. I just say that b/c it's common to hear people saying children act differently with people other than their parents. But then again if you taught them you could just do it at your leisure and not have to ever rush to get to class on time (which I frequently do). Sorry I don't have a straight answer. I think both options are good ones.


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## KateMary (Jun 14, 2004)

I was a swim instructor at several YMCA's also and we never said any thing even remotely negative to kid, whether it was regarding fear or if they just never got the hang of a particular skill (it was always "good job" no matter what). We would require the parents to leave the pool deck and go to the viewing area away from the lesson so that the kids wern't distracted and focused on the teacher instead of the parent. Sometimes that would make little kids apprehensive but they usually would warm up to the teacher after awhile.

I also went to reluctant swimmer's school when I was young. Yes, that is what it was called. I was very nervous in the water. They used a rewards system and I just had to have a star sewn onto my bathing suit so I dunked my head in and jumped off the diving board. Good thing cause I ended up swimming competitively and became lifeguard and instructor.


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## thyme (Jul 17, 2003)

There are some fantastic videos called "Diaper Dolphins" which demonstrate very gentle ways to teach your children to swim, and to love it!

Here's a picture of my 3 year old son swimming

I think the videos are out of print -- I got them used from Amazon.com.

Oh -- I just looked up their web site and they have DVDs for sale now! The address is http://www.babyswimming.com/DiaperDolphins.htm and it looks like there is some good info there. Gentleness and sensitivity were key to their philosophy -- this is a quote from their site:

Quote:

The first three years of a child's life are the most impressionable. What occurs during this critical and formative window of time will have a dramatic effect on the child for the rest of their lives. Swimming is often the first organized activity on their journey of life. As privileged stewards, parents and swim teachers owe it to these budding water babies to make this an uplifting, joyous experience. Our hope is that these children will grow into well adjusted and caring adults, living a fruitful life, contributing to society and our beautiful water planet in a positive way.
I can't say enough good things. I wish all the Ys in the country would cancel their current classes and change to something as enlightened and gentle as Diaper Dolphins.


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## YankeeMomInVA (Mar 30, 2005)

Funny that you should post this because I was JUST thinking about this very same thing... My ds just turned 2 and dh and I are considering parent/child swim lessons at the Y...

We just spent the weekend in Tennessee with family who have a pool and I felt like I made great progress with ds in terms of getting him comfortable enough with the water that he would jump in from the side of the pool and I would grab him so he didn't go too far under... But I'm at a loss as to how to progress with him especially since we do not have a pool of our own or easy access to one...

I've heard varying experiences with the Y, most being positive, especially so with the parent/toddler class.... We're signing him up for the next session, so I'll surely report back! 

Goood luck, though!


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## chel (Jul 24, 2004)

dd took lessons for 2yrs at the YMCA. dd's last class was 2 instructors and 2 kids. The other dc's family was pressuring the staff to "make" their child go under. The parents were bribbing like crazy. The staff had no intention of making the dc do anything they were afraid of, but did at the insistance of the parents. The instructors worked one on one with the dc and would trade off children when the parents insisted on dunking the other kid.


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## alybeans (May 22, 2005)

I just started Aly in swim lessons at nine months. There were several other classes going on at the same time and I didn't notice any negative behavior coming from the instructors. I'd try to find a new school for your DC or teach them yourself. I think forcing kids to do things they aren't ready for like that will backfire and make them more afraid of the water.

GL.


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

The place we take swimming lessons are free to members. It is great because the instructors don't feel pressured to produce results. No one is goung to be asking for the $50 back because hey, it was free. It was great. there were only 5 kids in dds class. One was cluesless, afraid and ust wanted to play. The teacher kept up and what she could and couldn't do and found ways to make her feel like she was making progress, help her become more comfortable in the water and just work with her where she was at without singeling her out for being so far behind the class (it was thier level where kids went from water play to actual swimming. Some were ready for the jump others weren't) and at the end of the class I htink my dd was the only one who advanced to the next level (C). 3 went to B advanced and the one girl had to repeat B but that was Ok. She would just be right where she was next time and her parents weren't out any money. and someone else got to supervise her in the pool twice a week while dad read a book. yay!

I wuold look for somewhere no-pressure like that. the teachers aren't pressured to produce results so they are pressuring the kids for results. which adds up to a fun relaxed class environment where the kids ready to learn can excell and those who aren't ready to learn independant swimming can keep practicing swimming readiness skills like blowing bubles under water.

no one was ever thrown into the pool. no was ever left crying. no one was made to do anything they weren't ready for or didn't feel safe doing. the teacher never said she owuld hold them when she had intentions of letting go.. She didn't make a move without telling them and counting down and such. everything was very safe and supported and the kids really responded to that. they knew that she asn't going to let them drown and therfore the felt brave trying things.

we really need to get back into that.


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## SKK (Apr 9, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *fremontmama*
I dont have any advice, but I remember taking swim lessons at the YMCA when I was a kid and I remember it to be slightly traumatic. The instructors were very tough and there were a lot of us who did cry sometimes. ....

oh, me too... my cousin and i used to throw fits when my mom and aunt would drag us into the Y!!! :LOL :LOL that being said , I did learn how to swim and loved it! in fact, i went on to swim competitively for 10 yrs, and even held some records at my hs! Although we belong to a fitness center and pool that offers lessons, I'm leaning towards teaching ds's myself, because I look at it as an opportunity to do something together (I work 4 days/week, so I like to look for those opportunities where I can). Why not give it a try yourself and see if it works. You can always go back to the lessons in few months if you feel the kids need it!

good luck,


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## Erin+babyAndrew (Jan 2, 2004)

some kids are born to love water. my ds is one of these kids. he is not quite 21 months but he jumps into the deep end all by himself (wearing water wings) he holds his breath and goes all the way under the water, he kicks his legs to propel himself around. he is my little fishy








i think early exposure like he had really helps a lot.


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## kayakjen (Aug 24, 2004)

I've taught for an amazing (not tooting MY horn, but the place I work is great!) swim program with an incredibly gentle and child-centered philosophy (not YMCA's normal red cross stuff) for the last few years that focuses almost completely on water babies 0-3 years. Your question is difficult and as a swim teacher it's tough because parents have different expectations and kids learn so differently.
However, if you have a crying babe, especially a youngish one, I'd recommend that you first look around town and see if you can find a few programs to check out. I definitely believe that it is worth it to check out private swim schools, and each of them, in your area.
That being said, some practical advice-
Swim as much as possible over a 4-8 week period (at least 2x per week) to help a child get used to the water.
Practice pouring water over your child's head during a bath sevearl times.
Develop a cue that you use consistently for your child (especially under 18 mo.) For example, "ready, baby, swim" and then pour water over head, moving towards immersing the child.
Practice pouring water over your child's head during a bath sevearl times.
Do whatever your child likes/feels comfortable with during lessons, no matter what anybody says!
Try giving your child toys in both hands to play with during lessons. This way she can't grab onto you and may be distracted.
If your baby is under 18 mo or so, check out a swim program with warm water (91 degrees F). Sometimes that can make an incredible difference!

I don't know if this will help or even answer your concerns, but some kids who start swimming after 5-6 months will experience a bit of anxiety when beginning classes. Depending on the amount, it usually fades within weeks to a few months. Let me know if you have any more questions!

Don't


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## kiwiming (Oct 6, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thyme*
There are some fantastic videos called "Diaper Dolphins" which demonstrate very gentle ways to teach your children to swim, and to love it!

I went and had a look and learned that it's normal for my 3yo to not want to be on his back - I had no idea! Just as well I never insisted...







:


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## johub (Feb 19, 2005)

I taught my dd1 to swim when she was 2. It was so much fun. I had help from my mom. ( I think it helps to have someone to swim from and to).
We had a pool where we lived and I only had one child at the time so we really took advantage.
I would like to teach my 3 year old now but just dont have the time to devote to it.
I dont think it is really that hard to teach your own child to swim because you know your own child best.
It is certainly very important to have training to teach groups and children of different temperaments and abilities. But I dont think the lack of training is really that big of a setback for a single parent and child.
In fact I taught her to swim 3 times. (because she forgot from summer to summer until she was 4.
As for the tears.
I do think it has as much to do with the parents pressure and expectations as the staff.
Joline


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## JayGee (Oct 5, 2002)

Our Y swim classes aren't like that at all. DS is currently in the Pike class (nonswimmers). He wears a floatie on his back and they progressively take off more and more until he doesn't need it anymore. They also encourage parents to get in the water too, especially if the children are afraid. I am in the water with DS for at least 1/2 the class.


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## Plummeting (Dec 2, 2004)

DD took a swim class at 13 months, but it wasn't like that. I personally would not be involved in any class that required me to leave my child with someone who was a stranger to them. Period. I don't care about the kid getting distracted or whatever else. That's total BS, IMO. Kids need to feel safe before they can concentrate on learning, and forcing them to be parentless with an instructor doing things that are scary to them does *not* make them feel safe!


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## Melda (Mar 27, 2003)

I did a search and found this thread ... DD just started swim lessons on monday ... she did good the first day ... and yesterday she screamed the entire time she was in there. It was killing me ... But this is one thing i feel she has to learn being we have a pool and we are on a lake. All i can think of is that it is better to let her cry than to die right? MY ds is a fish and knows how to open the gate to the pool (suppose to be childproof) and open the doors to the outside so I have taken other procautions but when he has it mastered then she is not safe because she follows him around everywhere. I hope i dont get flamed for this but it is one thing i have to go against the belief of not letting them CIO.


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## rmzbm (Jul 8, 2005)

I think your best bet would be teaching her yourself. Forcing a kid who is scared is counterproductive at best.


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## Evan&Anna's_Mom (Jun 12, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Melda*
All i can think of is that it is better to let her cry than to die right? MY ds is a fish and knows how to open the gate to the pool (suppose to be childproof) and open the doors to the outside so I have taken other procautions but when he has it mastered then she is not safe because she follows him around everywhere. I hope i dont get flamed for this but it is one thing i have to go against the belief of not letting them CIO.

Well, it certainly seems like swimming lessons are required here. But I'm wondering if you are accepting that crying is inevitable too easily? Have you asked her why she is crying? When my daughter was unhappy with lessons in the Spring, I sat on the step with her and that stopped her crying. Or perhaps you need to find a different teacher -- we are on our third of the summer and this one is perfect and DD is making so much more progress. Or she doesn't like the other kids in the class and private might work better? Or maybe the pool is too cold and a swim shirt would help? DD took a long time to be OK with putting her head under water and I was really clear with her teachers that this wasn't to be forced. She can learn to be safe without having to be under water if that scares her.

I understand the need to have others teach sometimes -- I don't teach my children anything well and especially something that I don't like such as swimming. But there are alternatives between not taking lessons and letting her scream!

Explore the reasons and find some solutions so that swimming is a happy event for her, not a scary one.


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## faithnj (Dec 19, 2004)

I'm teaching my 19 month old to swim right now, based on 2 books on infant swimming. (The videos are probably good, also.)

I also happen to be teaching some adults, 2 six year olds and one 9 year old, 3 times a week, even though I'm not a swimming instructor. (My best friend just brought a house with a pool, and begged me to teach her family.) I would have started earlier with my baby, but her reflux scared me off of it. Now, I wish I had started earlier than 1 year, regardless of the reflux. It's a bit more difficult to train a 19 month old, but she's coming along. I also have one of the parents teaching his 9 month old, instead of having me do it. (I've loaned him my books.) Frankly, the 9 month old is taking to the water better than the 19 month old-- as is developmentally appropriate. But he sure as heck wouldn't appreciate being left in my hands, considering I'm a stranger.

If you want your infant or toddler child to learn to swim, I'd say consider getting some books or a video, and teach him yourself. It may sound scary to you-- but the steps aren't hard to figure out. (It's not like they are learning the crawl or the backstroke at those ages.) And the child is likely to feel more comfortable with his or her own parents than with strangers. Plus, you can do water acclimation exercises in your very own bathtub. That can help bridge the gap of time when you aren't in the pool, if you don't have regular access to a pool year round. When my daughter is in the tub, she blows water in the bubbles and says "kick, kick, kick." We'd call it practice, but she just thinks it's fun.

Faith


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## midwestmeg (Jul 10, 2005)

My advice would be to seek out more experienced instructors. They will know how to help children learn how to swim without having it be sad everytime.







I've taught for a long time and some children do have a rough first and/or second time, but I'm positive and supportive of them and they are over it after one or two lessons- and I do comfort them; being left to just cry is sad.

I don't think the kids should have to cry while they swim, although I certainly do remember crying in my goggles, but I think that had more to do with me being a VERY stubborn child!

It might not be a Y thing, just a teacher thing. Watch the instructors and then do what it takes to have your kids placed with the ones you like. That's what I've noticed successful parents doing.

Oh, you might try your local Red Cross swimming lessons.

HTH! meg


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## blsilva (Jul 31, 2006)

I had a bad experience as a kid w/ swim lessons, so I won't take my boys to them. Instead, I take them to my Grandma's pool w/ my dad, who gently taught me to swim, & he's doing the same with them. It's taken all summer so far, but my oldest will now swim all over the pool (w/ his life vest, of course!), and even jump off the diving board.







My little one holds onto my back while I swim, and will let me dunk his head under briefly, then yell "more!"
We basically just started out letting them "own" the steps into the pool first, where there was no pressure, then we would take them around with us, a little at a time. THey weren't always happy to go, and sometimes seemed a little frightened, but we never let them cry, and I trust myself to know if they're ok better than some strange instructor. They trust me, too, and that makes a big difference.


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## katallen (Jan 4, 2005)

I think you just got a bad instructor and would suggest finding a different one. My friend has had some great instructors for her son at the Y and some lousy ones. It may be that they need to make and enforce some policies regarding swimming that require all teachers to make efforts to make kids feel comfortable swimming. I took lessons for 12 years as a child and never felt uncomfortable with anything except the diving board and I was never demeaned or driven to tears. Kids don't have to experience fear to learn swimming.


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## irinam (Oct 27, 2004)

:


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## PancakeGoddess (Oct 8, 2004)

If I lived near a lake or had a pool, my stance might be different, but for our situation, the instruction was just not worth the fear my kids had. They were SO not into swim lessons... They both self-taught around 5-7yo and are competent swimmers now. Actually, at this point they are 9 and 11 and I am thinking they could use some instruction on strokes - one is a paddler and one just swims freestyle. But lessons won't be scary for them now


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## royaloakmi (Mar 2, 2005)

We had a lousy YMCA experience too, it was really expensive and our parent/tot classes were a waste of money.

Look around a bit; I found that in our area at least, there are a lot of options. I have also noticed with my own kids that I really need to keep up with it. If they are totally out of a swimming environment for many months, it's harder to get them back to their previous comfort level.


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## faithnj (Dec 19, 2004)

Ay yi yi. For all of you who are looking for info on having less harsh swimming experiences, go to *http://www.babyswimming.com* (Baby Swimming, The Gentle Journey.) It gives info on how to pick good swim instruction for your kids, as well as info on one of the books I'm using to teach DD to swim. (The book is for infants to 4 year olds.)

Faith
(Who had a pleasant experience with instructors at the Y in the 70's. But it was my father who eventually taught me how to swim.)


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## Melda (Mar 27, 2003)

Well ... What she is doing is .... this one

www.infantswim.com

Anyway I dont think the instructor is bad. She is constantly reassuring her and telling her how good she is doing. It is just that she is being forced to learn something she dont want to do ... ie swim under the water. The thing is ... I have no choice but to make sure she knows how to swim. There is just to much water around to not teach her.

She did do much better today. she did cry alot at first but the teacher introduced some distractions to the lessons (she had a whale dive toy thingy) that she was able to put on the side of the pool and that helped distract her from crying. She did ease up but she kept asking to get out and the instructor told her after 4 more tries and stuck to that. When she did her 4 more swims she was not happy but not crying. I am going to keep it up until the end of the week and see how she does. I cant throw in the towel after 3 days ...

Melda


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## faithnj (Dec 19, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Melda*
Well ... What she is doing is .... this one

www.infantswim.com

Anyway I dont think the instructor is bad. She is constantly reassuring her and telling her how good she is doing. It is just that she is being forced to learn something she dont want to do ... ie swim under the water. The thing is ... I have no choice but to make sure she knows how to swim. There is just to much water around to not teach her.

She did do much better today. she did cry alot at first but the teacher introduced some distractions to the lessons (she had a whale dive toy thingy) that she was able to put on the side of the pool and that helped distract her from crying. She did ease up but she kept asking to get out and the instructor told her after 4 more tries and stuck to that. When she did her 4 more swims she was not happy but not crying. I am going to keep it up until the end of the week and see how she does. I cant throw in the towel after 3 days ...

Melda


I'm familiar with that school. Mighty expensive, isn't it? But I understand they will get your DD up and swimming really quickly. The Gentle Journey takes much, much longer-- probably even months, before the child does an underwater swim.

Faith
(Who also lives right in front of a lake. Sigh. We brought the house after 10 years of marriage, thinking we'd never have a child.)


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## Melda (Mar 27, 2003)

faithnj said:


> I'm familiar with that school. Mighty expensive, isn't it?QUOTE]
> 
> YES ... It is $110 sign up fee and $60 a week ... and the average is 4-6 weeks but she feels it will be more like 4 ... but that is way worth my DD's life ...


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## Melda (Mar 27, 2003)

Im proud to report we had NO CRYING today ... whooohoooo ... she was a little anxious when we pulled up saying she dont want to swim but she went to the instructor and swam BEAUTIFULY underwater today without crying. She is swimming about 5-6' under water to the edge of the pool ...after only 4 days ...


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## momto l&a (Jul 31, 2002)

My Mom very thankfully realized swimming lesson weren't for me. I couldn't stand the water pressure for having to go under water to retrieve stuff off the bottom.

Mom wanted me to take swimming lesson being I spent every single summer day in the river.

I couldn't even float because I have no fat








I cant hack water pressure.

Anyway Mom knew I could doggy paddle well enough to stay afloat. So no worry for my living in the river during the summer. I was also a cautious kid.

It was till my senior year in high school that my PE teacher in swimming class realized my problem. She totally had to make a new course just for me as I couldn't do what all of the others did. She even had to come up with a stroke that I could use besides the doggy paddle







:

I got a A+ in her class. I was so impressed that someone realized my problem and that indeed was an issue though she took the problem and fixed it and made no issue of it. I worked darn hard for her







What a cool teacher

All of that to say find a good teacher or work with her yourself. Don't subject her to 'teachers' like that. You will kill her desire IMO


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## Danswim (11 mo ago)

Danswim offers Swim lessons at home for Infant by swim illustrations as soon as a half year old enough to assist with building certainty and get your baby familiar in the water. They offer an assortment of swim illustration programs for Infants of any age and levels.


Peepsqueak said:


> I had my kids in swimming lessons at the YMCA and I was curious as to how the lessons can be taught without scaring kids half to death. It was painful for me to watch my youngest and I would not force him to get in the water if he did not want to but the teachers often let the kids cry while swimming. They are terrified but are swimming or being taught to stay afloat in the deep end. I am a good swimmer myself and took a life guard course as a young teenager. I could teach them myself but I think swimming instruction requires a little more savvy in teaching techniques.
> 
> I thought maybe they could use floaties, paddle boards, etc to make the kids more confident in the water. Also, I have seen people train their children as early as 3 monthes to swim and they have no fear of the water.
> 
> Anyone else have experience with this? If so, what should I look for in their next swimming lessons. I do not think I will do the Y next year.....


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## sandranow (6 mo ago)

rmzbm said:


> I think your best bet would be teaching her yourself. Forcing a kid who is scared is counterproductive at best.


I totally agree! I was a swimming teacher when I was in high school and I had no hope of teaching my daughter to swim, she simply would not listen to me. Now that she is older and we're working on strokes and increasing speed, it's better, but I was grateful to have teachers when she was younger to teach her the basics.


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