# Spinoff of leaving child home alone...



## bnhmama (Nov 28, 2006)

What about leaving a child home 30 minutes or so while the other parent is home but sleeping?

Hubby works overnights and sleeps during the day. There have been times I've needed to run to the store (Nearby) for just one or two things and was home and back within 20 minutes. Ds (just turned 7) has asked just to stay home since daddy is home sleeping. I haven't done it because I just don't feel comfortable yet.

On the other hand, we have friends in the same situation and she's been leaving her 7 year old with sleeping daddy for several hours at a stretch for TWO years now. To me, that is completely outside of my comfort zone but, like I said, I just can't get comfortable with even a few minutes yet.

What are your experiences with this?


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## Katie T (Nov 8, 2008)

Im one of the paranoid parents, our post office is kitty corner from out house and I can see my house the whole time I walk over there. It still makes me nervous to leave my almost 10yo (awake) with my sleeping 3yo while the baby and I walk over there.
That said when we had neighbors who were home (and there children were friends with my DD1) I would call the mom and tell her I was running late and to keep a eye on my DD while her children and my DD played outside. It was always less than 30 min and I was more comfortable with that situation.
I dont know how old I will want DD1 to be before leaving her home alone for 2 reasons: we dont have a home phone and we live 30 min. one way from pretty much anything.


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## einalems (Feb 23, 2005)

I just did that for the first time and I felt OK with it. That is saying a LOT, as I am close to the smothering-side of things when it comes to my kids.

After 33" of snowfall and being snowed in for 5 days with hubby away, he came home and plowed overnight. The next day around noon, he took a nap. I left at 1:30 to do some grocery shopping, leaving my 8yo, 6 yo, and 3 yo with napping daddy. They had a cell phone to call me if needed, and could wake daddy if anyone needed anything. They were set up in the playroom with toys, snacks and a cartoon. They had 3 big dogs to bark if anyone came to the door. I called and checked on them every 20-30 minutes. Everything was fine.

I felt OK with it, but not 100% comfortable, even though my 8yo DD is very mature.

That is just my experience. I probably wouldn't do it again unless it was absolutely necessary.


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## lonegirl (Oct 31, 2008)

Ummm...well....there have been many times I come home and my son greets me at the door....."hi mommy! Daddy is sleeping and I am playing my games"


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## bnhmama (Nov 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lonegirl* 
Ummm...well....there have been many times I come home and my son greets me at the door....."hi mommy! Daddy is sleeping and I am playing my games"

That's happened to us as well. I remember my dad ALWAYS napping on the couch when I was a kid. Heck, I've even dozed off on the couch a few times while home with ds. I guess the distinction for me is that dh sleeps in a closed bedroom with a fan on. I don't know why that feels different to me but it does.


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## country lilac (Sep 20, 2009)

I have done it with my older girl before, especially when I was pregnant. She was 6 then, and as long as you set her up (snacks, video/other entertainment) she was just great for an hour or so. But I imagine it would mostly have to do with the temperment of the actual child. My daughter had already shown to me at that point that she could do stuff on her own without getting into things she wasn't supposed to. She had also shown a good sense of when to come and get me if something unexpected happened. So I was comfortable with it. I felt confident that she would never answer the door, or go outside herself, or anything she knew she wasn't allowed to do.
So, in my situation I feel very different about sleeping in the house with her versus leaving her there alone (which I wouldn't feel comfortable with and she is 8 now).


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## Ceinwen (Jul 1, 2004)

I've done it lots - since my older dd was 4.5 years old and I was pg with our second. Even now, I'll go and lay down with my younger dd who is 26 months, and my older dd (who is now 7) is happy & content to play for a couple hours quietly. She knows not to answer the phone or the door, to come and get me if she needs anything, etc. I see no problems with it personally.


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## DahliaRW (Apr 16, 2005)

I sometimes put a movie on for the kids while I sleep! LOL! I would wake up if I was needed. My oldest is 5 and knows when to come get me.


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## snoopy5386 (May 6, 2005)

I would give Dad a quick wake up so he "knows" he is in charge and is in less of a deep sleep. We do this quite frequently - on the weekends we'll set up DD with cartoons and a bowl of cereal and we head back to bed for a half hour or an hour. We can hear her from the bedroom and I don't sleep as deeply. Since becoming pregnant I have also taken many an afternoon nap while DD watched a movie in the living room (We live in a ranch). She knows to come get us if she needs anything. She'll be 4 in about 6 weeks.


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

It depends on the maturity of your particular child, and how deep a sleeper the adult is.

I routinely leave DS alone upstairs while my parents are home downstairs (mother/daughter house). He's mature enough to entertain himself for an hour or so, and knows how to ask for food or prepare simple things himself. I routinely leave him home with sleeping adults to drive DD to school. I even take naps while the kids are up, but I really can't count that anymore, as I have two teenagers who are "in charge" of DS when I'm sleeping.

I figure that, if everything goes normally, I'll be home in 15 minutes and he'll be 100% fine. But I won't leave him home alone because of the "what ifs". What if I get into a car accident and I'm rushed to the hospital instead of coming straight home? What if I view a crime and I'm tied up with the police giving testimony for an hour? What if the car breaks down and I have to wait for a tow truck? Whenever I leave the house ANYTHING can happen.

But, if he's with sleeping adults in the house (who are aware that they're "in charge"), I'm not concerned. If some kind of crazy situation occurs, my Mom will cancel a doctor's appointment to stay home with him, or take him with them. Things go normally: they do their thing and aren't inconvenienced. If something goes wrong: they're available to alter their schedules to care for him.

However, I wouldn't leave him home alone with my Dad unless Dad was awake. My father will NOT wake up easily in case of an emergency, and he can't be woken by loud noises (such as the fire alarm) because he doesn't sleep with his hearing aids.

I also know some kids who can't be left unsupervised (adults asleep or busy in another part of the house) because they have no impulse control and would destroy the house and possibly do unsafe things (such as playing with matches or sharp knives or climbing on bookshelves.)


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

A 7-year-old? Sure, no problem. She's 8 now, but certainly a year ago she was very capable of waking up her dad if she needed something. She'd be fine staying home with him when sleeping, and she probably did but it would so not be a big deal to me that I can't think of a specific instance.


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## dbsam (Mar 3, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *snoopy5386* 
I would give Dad a quick wake up so he "knows" he is in charge and is in less of a deep sleep.











When I have a migraine, I'll set my children up with a craft, game or a DVD and lie down. Sometimes in the same room, but if it is a DVD or anything loud I will go in the next room. I am usually not in a deep sleep and am there if they need me.


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## Ornery (May 21, 2007)

For me it would be important to let dad know that I was leaving and he was in charge. There is a big distinction for me in running to the store with dad napping on the couch but aware that he is responsible and dad sleeping soundly in the bedroom unaware that mom is gone.


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## *bejeweled* (Jul 16, 2003)

I take short naps with just me and 7 yo DD home. She knows not to answer the door and to come get me if she needs anything. And we have a small home where I can hear everything.


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## Kat_shoshin (Feb 16, 2007)

Just make sure your doors are locked and your kid knows not to go out. I know a Dad who lost his kids because his overnight babysitter left before he was up and his 3 year old woke up before he did and was found wandering the neighborhood.


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## lunita1 (May 12, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kat_shoshin* 
Just make sure your doors are locked and your kid knows not to go out. I know a Dad who lost his kids because his overnight babysitter left before he was up and his 3 year old woke up before he did and was found wandering the neighborhood.









This. About ten years ago, I actually had to call the police to help identify/return a wandering 18 month old in my apartment complex. It was dark and rainy, and I found her in a parking lot. The mom and older siblings had gone out and left the sleeping father in charge. They didn't have the children taken away, but they apparently did get lots of attention from CPS. Among other things, they had to rig up a good child safety gate to prevent baby from accessing the door, which she had learned to open.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

The OP is talking about a 7-year-old.


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## honey-lilac (Jun 30, 2009)

Uh, am I understanding right that some people are stating that someone always has to be awake with a child? What on earth? What if you NEED to sleep for a little while and there's no one around to watch the child?

As long as:

- the exits to the house were secured
- the area was childproof and the child had access to a snack
- the child wasn't frightened or scared or sick

I would have no problem leaving the kids "alone" while I lay down with a headache or something or even if I had to run out somewhere as long as there was an adult somewhere in the house.

Isn't a 7 year old old enough to either call mommy on the phone, or wake daddy up, or whatever. Heck, way old enough to call 911 too.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

In that situation, probably by age 5 unless dh really needed to sleep and I knew my LO was likely to wake him up for "emergencies" like wanting to chat.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bnhmama* 
That's happened to us as well. I remember my dad ALWAYS napping on the couch when I was a kid. Heck, I've even dozed off on the couch a few times while home with ds. I guess the distinction for me is that dh sleeps in a closed bedroom with a fan on. I don't know why that feels different to me but it does.

Because that means he isn't as alert. And a fan is white noise so that further prevents him hearing. I was picturing more like your dad (or mine









) napping on the couch and ending up with a LO snuggled onto his legs like as not.


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## bjerme (Nov 13, 2009)

I think it's fine with a child who can wake Dad up if they need him.


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## Hey Mama! (Dec 27, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kaleanani* 
Uh, am I understanding right that some people are stating that someone always has to be awake with a child? What on earth? What if you NEED to sleep for a little while and there's no one around to watch the child?

As long as:

- the exits to the house were secured
- the area was childproof and the child had access to a snack
- the child wasn't frightened or scared or sick

I would have no problem leaving the kids "alone" while I lay down with a headache or something or even if I had to run out somewhere as long as there was an adult somewhere in the house.

Isn't a 7 year old old enough to either call mommy on the phone, or wake daddy up, or whatever. Heck, way old enough to call 911 too.

I totally agree.


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## Roxswood (Jun 29, 2006)

dd who is 5.5 gets up in the mornings and comes out and makes her breakfast and then sits and plays quietly until I get up with her younger sister. We live in a tiny apartment so she's only in the next room, I don't think I would be happy with this if we had a big house and I would be out of range of hearing something easily.
So yes, I would leave her if her Dad was asleep, as long (as said before) he knew he was on duty if he heard a noise.


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## dogretro (Jun 17, 2008)

Shoot, *I'M* the one who is most likely to get up in the morning, go down the hall, put on a video for dd, & go back to sleep & she is not even two yet! One of the only ways I survived my first trimester this time around is b/c dd would happily eat breakfast while watching a very long video in the morning while I went back to bed. So, for us, as long as there is a video on or we are all downstairs, we are totally comfortable napping while dd is awake. She is practically right across the hall & she knows where I am b/c she sometimes comes in to bug me







She has always also had free range of the house, so she never "gets into things".


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