# 12 month old wants to play alone



## MagpieMaggie (May 11, 2008)

I am concerned about my 12 mo DS. Ever since he could play, he would do so by himself. DH and I try to interact with him but he either cries or goes to another part of the room and plays with his toys. Is this okay? When my nephew was little all he wanted me to do was to play with him, but not DS. I take him to mom & tot group 2x/month, but even there he goes off by himself







Is anyone else going through this?


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## NotTheOnlyOne (Oct 23, 2006)

it is normal for 12 month olds to want to play alone... they have a lot to explore... But the fact that he cries if you try to join him and actively avoids you would worry me just a little bit. I might bring it up to the pediatrician for reassurance.


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## sbgrace (Sep 22, 2004)

How is he otherwise developmentally?
What sorts of play does he most enjoy?
Is he pointing? Does he show you things he's interested in (like holding up a toy for you to see or pointing at things that interest him to draw your attention)?

Does he respond to his name when you call him? How often--all the time/most of the time/some of the time/never?








I know (really, I do, I was there once) how it is to feel worried about this sort of thing.







It'll be ok.


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## MagpieMaggie (May 11, 2008)

Thank you both for responding. It means alot!

DS seems to be on track developmentally.
He will play with anything. But if we try to get him to play with us, he cries. For example. DS is playing with a toy piano. I take some cars and put them on his race track. Dear son comes over. Takes the cars off. Then goes back to piano or to something else with cars. I put new cars on the track. DS starts to cry. Another example...DS is playing by himself. Mommy plays with piano. DS taps it a few times and then pushes it away so that neither he nor mommy will play with it.

yes ds will point and always wants my attention. He loves to cuddle.







:

DS will respond to his name, most of the time, lol!

Does this sound appropriate...mama is sooo worried! Again thanks for any advice.


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## sbgrace (Sep 22, 2004)

When I read your original post I wondered about autism...my very cuddly, very attached, super affectionate son is on the spectrum and he was like that when younger.
But the warning signs at one year for autism are:
1. not using non-verbals--lack of pointing
2. not consistently turning to you when you call his name.
3. not having joint attention--this would include pointing to show you things/showing toys to you to get your reaction, not following your point when you point to something, not shifting gaze from you to toy to you.
4. not imitating you (back and forth games with vocalizing, imitating motor movements like waving and playing so big, imitating facial things, doing what you do with toys, etc.)
5. Not having some very basic pretend play (vroom with cars, pretending to drink, etc.) or playing unusually or repititively.

At one my spectrum child was not consistently turning to me when I called his name, not pointing, not showing us toys and stuff, and resisting my interference in his play like you describe. He was and is a great imitator and was and is extremely lovey and social. Lots of spectrum kids are very attached, lovey, and cuddly. It's other stuff that indicates autism.

So when you wrote that he wants to play without you and in fact actively avoids it when you try to join him it points to joint attention and play issues. That is why I asked the questions.

But I would say that if at a year he is pointing at things to draw your attention to them (so he notices a plane and points at it and looks at you to get your reaction) and consistently responds to his name I would feel pretty confident that it's not a spectrum thing.

If in reading the list you see warning signs that he might be on the autism spectrum let me know. We started floortime with my son which was a great way to interact. He came to love me in his play--it made a huge difference.

Just in case, my son is 4.5 now and doing really well. I don't expect autism to be a major issue in his life.

I know what it is like to worry. The possibilities/fears are always worse than the realities even when the fears end up coming true.


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