# Possible to transition a one-year-old to a crib without CIO?



## KLM99 (Aug 9, 2007)

My husband decided this morning that he can't co-sleep anymore with our wiggly one-year-old. She wakes up twice at night usually to eat (sometimes more if she's over-tired or teething or something). I usually just sleep with a boob out, she gets what she needs, and then goes back to sleep. I'm adamantly against CIO and 100% believe that most babies aren't going to sleep through the night until they are much older. I'm not really sure what to do since I work fulltime and need to be functioning (no naps) the next day - that's why cosleeping is so great - no need to get up and traipse over to the crib a few times every night.

That said, I'm wondering if anyone has had success transitioning a young toddler to a crib or any other suggestions for us. I guess I could just sleep in another room with her, but part of the reason my husband said no to co-sleeping is that he thinks we're not having enough sex because of it and/or he's uncomfortable doing it with her sleeping in the bed. Reasonable complaint I think - it does throw me off a little when she rolls over or makes a noise or something







Anyway, suggestions?


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## _betsy_ (Jun 29, 2004)

Could you sidecar a crib, so that she has her own space but she's still right there to nurse?


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## ChristineIndy (Jan 3, 2006)

Isn't there SOMEWHERE else you could be intimate with your DH? A guest room? The couch?


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## KLM99 (Aug 9, 2007)

OP here - yes, certainly I realize we can have sex on other surfaces than just the bed







That's not the only issue my husband has with the co-sleeping though. I don't know, there still might be a way to convince him it's ok - I'm a huge fan (and a huge fan of not getting up and walking to the crib three times a night).


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## _betsy_ (Jun 29, 2004)

What if the crib was in your room, snuggled up to your side of the bed? Easy access for nursing, but your DH doesn't have to deal with her thrashing around all night?

I'm a light sleeper and I can't STAND to be touched while I'm sleeping. DD is a kicker, puncher, squirmer, since Day 1 - co sleeping would just never work for us. I had to get up and go to her crib every night for almosta year once we moved her out of the basinnett in our room to her crib in her room. Sure, we all seem to sleep better with her in her own space, but it practically killed me (literally) to get up to nurse her 2-3 times a night (Or more!) between 6 months and 15 months or so when she finally stopped night nursing. I would certainly recommend avoiding that scenerio if you can!


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## SeekingJoy (Apr 30, 2007)

What about starting your LO in a crib and then transitioning her to your room the first time she wakes? I nurse DD down, and let her sleep in her crib for a couple of hours until her first waking.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

I think the best way is the sneaky way. When LO falls asleep, put her/him in the crib. When LO wakes, nurse or whatever, when she's asleep again, poke DH and have HIM put her back in the crib. Repeat. Some nights, LO will only be in the crib that first stretch, and you'll give up, and happily snuggle that night, but it's not failure.

If it's mainly DH's issue, then he needs to be willing to get up to transition LO to the crib after a waking.

Eventually, DS learned that he had more space in HIS bed, and grew to prefer that, but he still crawls in with me some mornings, and falls back to sleep.


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## ChristineIndy (Jan 3, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
I think the best way is the sneaky way. When LO falls asleep, put her/him in the crib. When LO wakes, nurse or whatever, when she's asleep again, poke DH and have HIM put her back in the crib. Repeat. Some nights, LO will only be in the crib that first stretch, and you'll give up, and happily snuggle that night, but it's not failure.

If it's mainly DH's issue, then he needs to be willing to get up to transition LO to the crib after a waking.

Eventually, DS learned that he had more space in HIS bed, and grew to prefer that, but he still crawls in with me some mornings, and falls back to sleep.

This! Or side-car. Or, heck, both!


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## Cujobunny (Aug 16, 2006)

We just got our 1yo a twin mattress and put it on the floor in her room. I put her to bed there to start the night (nurse her to sleep lying down then slip away). I usually get some adult time until her first waking (usually a couple hours). From there, I either return back to my own bed or stay with her for the rest of the night.


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## srs (Nov 8, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 

If it's mainly DH's issue, then he needs to be willing to get up to transition LO to the crib after a waking.









: If DH wants the switch, then he can be the one to go get your LO every time she wakes, and bring her back to you to nurse, or he can do the nighttime parenting and get her back to sleep some other way, and then put her back in her crib. That's what I told my DH the last time that discussion happened here. We're still cosleeping.


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## wannabe (Jul 4, 2005)

Sex in another room of the house?


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## KLM99 (Aug 9, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *srs* 







: If DH wants the switch, then he can be the one to go get your LO every time she wakes, and bring her back to you to nurse, or he can do the nighttime parenting and get her back to sleep some other way, and then put her back in her crib. That's what I told my DH the last time that discussion happened here. We're still cosleeping.









OP Here - Haha...I love this. I told DH last night that we'd switch off putting her back to bed when she wakes up. So I did the first one (she usually nurses), he did the second one by rocking her for a while until she fell asleep again, and then for the third one, I just brought her back to our bed because I was exhausted. I asked him how his turn getting her at 2am went, reminded him that I did it twice, and all of a sudden he thinks we might be able to co-sleep again


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## GooeyRN (Apr 24, 2006)

IF you really want to give up co-sleeping, I will share what I did with my dd. We did not transition her to a crib. We transitioned her to a regular bed in an empty room. We laid in the bed with her while she fell asleep, then left. She was about 16ish months old at the time. I was pregnant and had to get her used to it so I could co-sleep with the new babe. This arrangement still mostly works. We put just a mattress on the floor, so there is no issue about worrying about injuries if she rolled out of bed. I plan on doing the same thing with ds after he is a year old. She still had a lot of night wakings, but they slowly stopped happening. She is usually up once a night now at almost 3 years old.

You can always just stay in the baby's bed after the first night waking. It would give you some alone time with your dh if you wanted sex or dh snuggles in the bed. I miss sex in my bed!!! Its not really that much effort to drag myself out of bed once a night to go lay in the other bed. Its the whole staying awake while they eat, then transferring them and hoping they don't wake up, put them down, then they pop up again that is draining.

ETA: You will have to buy them a bed eventually, anyway. Why not just do it now!


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## Malva (Nov 2, 2005)

If he's the one pushing for it, he should be the one getting out of bed in the middle of the night to bring you the LO to nurse.

Some suggestions: get a bigger bed, get a toddler bed and put it right against your side of the bed. Have sex elsewhere.


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## g&a (Dec 15, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cujobunny* 
We just got our 1yo a twin mattress and put it on the floor in her room. I put her to bed there to start the night (nurse her to sleep lying down then slip away). I usually get some adult time until her first waking (usually a couple hours). From there, I either return back to my own bed or stay with her for the rest of the night.

this is what we do. dh doesn't like mcSquirmy beside him either and i'm too stubborn to not co-sleep.

with dd1 we transitioned her to her own bed at about a year and we laid down beside her to get her to sleep. still do, and she's 4.

g.


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## chaoticzenmom (May 21, 2005)

We've been through this a few times. With my first, we tried a sidecar crib and it didn't work well, so my husband and I kept a few quilts put aside so that we could put them onto the floor. That way, we could go there (in any room we wanted) and hang out together and the baby slept comfortably in our bed.

With my 2nd, she was a squirmer, so she was actually relieved to be put into a crib. We never had any problems with her transition.

My 3rd liked the sidecar and slept in it from pretty early on. We would get the baby into the sidecar, light a candle and hang out without any problems.

What helps is to not make your room into a nursery. Make it as romantic as possible, even with the crib or sidecar next to the bed.

Lisa


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