# At what age do you stop "putting" them to bed?



## amcal (Jan 13, 2003)

At what age do you stop putting your kids to bed? Meaning, you stop having to take them into the bathroom, make sure they brush their teeth, help with jammies, tuck into bed etc...?

I'm not complaining about doing these things but, I'm just wondering at about what age you just tell a kid it's time for bed and they just get themselves ready and go to bed without your help or supervision.

Again, I'm not complaining, I'm just wondering at what age they start to become independent in bedtime. If I remember correctly, it was probably around 8 when I was a kid? I remember my parents saying it was time for bed and I'd get myself ready, get into bed and then they'd come in and kiss me good night.


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## ma_vie_en_rose (Jun 7, 2008)

I would say it depends on the kid and how well they can accomplish their bedtime routine without supervision. DSD was about 8yo. I still tuck her into to bed, though, because she wants me to do it. I will continue to do so until she says otherwise. I hope that is not soon, though. She is growing up too quickly as it is.


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## usandthegirls (Mar 22, 2006)

put herself to bed. She can take care of her personal things (teeth, toilet), change into jammies and get into bed by herself. On occasion she will ask for a tuck in or something random, but for the most part she's good to go on her own.


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## chfriend (Aug 29, 2002)

This is such a sweet time of our day, I hope it lasts until they can drive. Mine are 7 and 4 and show no signs of wanting to be alone at bedtime yet.


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## urchin_grey (Sep 26, 2006)

Well, DS cannot reach the sink to brush his teeth himself (and he sleeps in a diaper during the summer so he doesn't need to get dressed for bed). BUT, he will go to our bed and just go to sleep on his own when he's tired. He just started doing this all of a sudden right after he turned 3. Surprised the heck out of me!


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## Roar (May 30, 2006)

I would separate out the grooming tasks - teeth brushing, getting dressed, etc. from the "tucking in" hugs and kisses, stories or songs... I think many kids still like the tucking in long after they are responsible to do the grooming parts themselves.


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## ProtoLawyer (Apr 16, 2007)

My 5.5-yo SD refuses to be alone once she's in her room at night. She'll scream bloody murder if someone leaves to use the bathroom. We're still waiting...

That said, is capable of doing the grooming tasks herself, but there's still usually supervision because she doesn't *want* to do the grooming tasks.


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## OboePlayerMom (May 23, 2005)

I'm always going to want to tuck my kids in, but they'll probably be able to handle the teeth-brushing for themselves around age 7 or 8. I can remember being in high school, lying in bed, waiting for my mom to come in and tuck me in with a kiss good-night. I want to do that with my kids as long as they'll let me! It's fun to review the day and think good thoughts about tomorrow.

_____________________
Leslie, mommy to DS (5) and DD (3)


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## Tuesday (Mar 3, 2003)

My 5 year old (just newly turned 5) can put himself to bed although he definitely won't remember every step every bedtime. I hope he continues to "want" me to put him to bed for a long long time, though. The other night, I was nursing my 2 y/o DS and DH was playing with our 5 y/o. I guess DH was exhausted from a long long work day and he passed out and little DS went upstairs by himself and got himself ready for bed. I found him alone in his bedroom freshly washed and in his jammies. It was so cute but it was kind of sad - he thought everyone in the house had gone to bed without him so he put himself to bed.


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## nannysmom (Aug 1, 2005)

My 7 yo has been doing it for about a year. He gets himself ready and reads in bed for about an hour before I come and kiss goodnight.


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## SAHDS (Mar 28, 2008)

Mine (7.5 and 9 tomorrow) brush their teeth and put on their pajamas by themselves, but DH and I tuck them into bed, read with them, give them hugs and kisses then turn off their lights.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

I saw the coolest thing at a new friend's house- her kids were the same ages as my elder two, and her lad came in from playing out, and asked when his dad would be home because they were reading something together







That's something I want for my family.


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## 1xmom (Dec 30, 2003)

My dd is 8 and usually can get her bath/teeth brushed, etc. But she hasn't given up the reading time yet. Sometimes before we read we talk and it's so nice b/c we have each other's undivided attention and she tells me alot of what is on her mind. It may be something from the day or even a week or so ago. I definately don't want to lose that time.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

My daughter takes care of her teeth and everything else herself, but she still needs to be tucked in and she needs a story. I hope she needs those forever. That's one of my favorite parts of the day. But I imagine she'll think she's too old eventually.


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## onlyzombiecat (Aug 15, 2004)

I think my dd when she was 7 started taking care of tooth brushing and stuff alone. She is 8 now and I tell her it is time for bed, come back to check on her and turn off the light. She often just reads quietly to herself and then turns out the light when she is done. Sometimes I give her a backrub or read to her if she is really having trouble settling down.

The reason I stopped being so involved in the bedtime routine is because dd would drag it out and I would get angry/frustrated because I was tired. She seems to settle down faster if I am not involved.

I think it depends on your child rather than age.


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## happyhippiemama (Apr 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *onlyzombiecat* 
The reason I stopped being so involved in the bedtime routine is because dd would drag it out and I would get angry/frustrated because I was tired. She seems to settle down faster if I am not involved.

I think it depends on your child rather than age.

This is us. I'm glad I'm not the only one.


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## milehighmonkeys (Apr 13, 2006)

DD4 _can_ put herself to bed, but she drags her feet. Meaning, she can accomplish all the tasks in our routine, but not in a timely fashion. I'm not ready for her to do it, though. We still read a story, although it's evolved to me reading her a story and then she'll read me a story. She does go to her room by herself for quiet time (formerly nap time before she gave them up).


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## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

DS is 5.5 years old. He can get his pjs on, brush his teeth, and climb into bed. We are still a big part of bedtime though because he still enjoys having us read to him before he goes to sleep. I hope that lasts for a long time!


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## granolalight (Nov 1, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *1xmom* 
My dd is 8 and usually can get her bath/teeth brushed, etc. But she hasn't given up the reading time yet. Sometimes before we read we talk and it's so nice b/c we have each other's undivided attention and she tells me alot of what is on her mind. It may be something from the day or even a week or so ago. I definately don't want to lose that time.

Ditto, exactly, for us. Mine has a "before bed" and "before school" checklist posted in the hallway. She's had it for over a year and it works great. But we each still read to her every night.


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## pink gal (Feb 27, 2008)

My oldest DD started wanting to put herself to bed at about 8. I still go in and spend some time sitting on the bed chatting with her most nights. Something about sitting in the dark really helps open up the lines of communication.


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## elizawill (Feb 11, 2007)

my kids are almost 7 and 4 1/2. i still put them to bed. i don't mind though. it doesn't require an awful lot from me really ( i enjoy story time a lot) and once i tuck them in - my job is done


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## lovemyfamily6 (Dec 27, 2006)

My big kids are 6 1/2, 5 and 5. I believe our dentist recommends we do a follow up teeth brushing until around 7, depending on how they're doing, so I assume that part will stick around for awhile. I also put toothpaste on their toothbrushes because they like to play with it and squeeze it into the sink. At almost $6 a tube, I don't want it being wasted. Every few weeks we give them a chance to do it on their own and they do fine for a few days and then see how fun it is to make a mountain of toothpaste.







So I put toothpaste on and tell them to go to the bathroom and get dressed for bed (which consists of taking off their clothes because they like to sleep in underwear). I go in and brush and floss their teeth and then we go to their room. I love that part because it's our time to take a deep breath and tell each other we love each other (no matter how bad of a day we had) and hope it continues for a very long time!

I don't remember my mom and dad tucking me in or anything. I know they would have when I was a baby/toddler, but I remember being in kindergarten and getting ready for bed by myself, then going in to say goodnight to my mom and dad and then going into my room by myself. My mom is very much an all about business person at bedtime though and doesn't appreciate it as a time for cuddles like I do. We went through a period of time where it was just insane and I was grouchy at their bedtime. Then I started giving them ten minutes before lights out. I sit with each of them and ask about their favorite part of the day, I tell them how lucky I am to be their momma, kiss and hug them and then give them ten minutes. Ever since I started that, bedtime has been great!


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## Lingmom (Apr 10, 2007)

At 4 and 6, my kids are nowhere near being able to brush and floss well. I supervise and then brush a second time.


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## annethcz (Apr 1, 2004)

Well my kids *can* do this, but they often don't.

I haven't helped with pajamas since my youngest was 3 or so. As for brushing teeth, I do help sometimes. My kids really should floss every night (they've had cavities between their teeth), and so I help with that. My dentist told me that kids usually don't have the dexterity to floss their own teeth until age 10 or so.

I think that all of my kids (ages 4-8) are capable of putting themselves to bed, but they often get carried away with each other or prefer to play rather than getting ready. So I do give reminders, but I don't physically get them ready anymore.


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## 1xmom (Dec 30, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pink gal*
My oldest DD started wanting to put herself to bed at about 8. I still go in and spend some time sitting on the bed chatting with her most nights. Something about sitting in the dark really helps open up the lines of communication.

You are so right.


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