# Hard question (sorry)



## jessicasocean (Mar 21, 2008)

I hate to ask, but does anyone here believe medical neglagence caused their baby to pass? I know that grieving makes you seek "resolution" but in my case the OB was totally neglectful, and if he wasn't my son would be with me right now. I was just curious how many mommies are in the same situation I am in, or know someone who is. I need to hear that it is a battle worth fighting, because I feel alone. I really want these Dr's to pay for what they have done, not in the literal sense,, I could care less if I ever see a dime, I just want a "red flag" on their record.


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## namaste_mom (Oct 21, 2005)

Jessica - if I thought that Norah died due to any neglegance on my doctor's part than I would pursue it. I wouldn't want anyone else to lose their baby due to the same doctor. I don't know what you need to do, you may see some advice in the "Talk Amongst Ourselves" section (which you can only see when you are logged on). There seem to be some pretty knowledgeable ladies over there willing to help and discuss things rationally.


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## bluewatergirl (Jul 26, 2007)

Jessica, you're right, it's a tough question.

I think a lot of us, especially in the beginning of our
grieving process, desperately search for reasons and answers.
I know I asked myself many times a day "what if. . . ?"
What if my doctor's protocol had been different because
I'm an "AMA" mother, and I had had weekly NStests the
last few weeks of pregnancy? Or an ultrasound past 32 weeks?
Would something have been caught before my baby was
damaged (by a cord accident) and then died?
What if my Doc had seen me on the Monday before I went into labor,
right at 38 weeks (like he had seen me the Monday before, right
at 37 weeks), instead of the appointment being scheduled for
Thursday, at 38 weeks, 3 days? (I went into labor very early
that morning, and my son's heart was no longer beating when
I was triaged at the hospital.) You can absolutely torture yourself
with those questions, and in the end, _nothing_ can bring back
or make up for what we lost.









I don't know the particulars of your story.
I think in some cases, hindsight is 20/20 . . . In my case, there
was really nothing overt to give me alarm that something was wrong
. . . I do believe that with more aggressive monitoring, my son
may have had a good chance; the way things turned out, he didn't.
But I don't feel like there was anything my Doc "should have done" that
he didn't, in terms of treating me during what had been a healthy/normal pregnancy right along.

I think it was on the Natl Stillbirth Sociey website (www.stillnomore.org)
that I found some information and advice about pursuing legal recourse
against healthcare providers.
If I remember correctly, statistics are usually against the mother/parents
who bring a lawsuit against a doctor or hospital . . . even if there may
be basis for the suit. In the end, unless it is gross, incontrovertible
negligence on the part of the HCP (and perhaps it is in your case?),
it (now) seems to me like the whole drama with lawyers, judge, witnesses/experts and testimony can drag on the grief process,
rehashing the heartbreaking facts of a baby's death over and over.
Lawsuits can take years to settle.
(Although at first, in my grief and anger, I considered legal action, too.)
Also -I don't know much about it (but maybe another poster will?) but
I _think_ there must be a way you can file a complaint against a physician
or other HCP you feel has practiced unsafely in some way. I believe
the medical board is obligated to investigate the validity of such
complaints, and there is some type of data-base related to licensure
where information is kept on file and is available to potential patients.

My Doc was very empathetic, and as soon as my DH and I were ready,
he had us come in at the end of a day to sit with him and ask about
anything we had questions about. We spent hours talking and crying
and didn't leave the office until almost midnight.

I turned my anger and energy into researching stillbirth and cord accidents
to the best of my ability, believing knowledge and education to be
empowering. I was blessed to become pregnant again, and this time I have
advocated for much more aggressive/proactive monitoring of my baby,
and I know, from my research, what might be warning signs of cord
compression to watch out for.

Peace to you and many hugs to you







and your family.


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## jessicasocean (Mar 21, 2008)

I have spoken with an attorney, and I am planning to bring up a case against my Dr. This has been on my mind since the day I delivered my son. To make a VERY LONG story short, I was at the Dr's on January 28th at 7pm due to the fact I had been having contractions ALL day. He was VERY quick to tell me that I wasn't dialating and that "we are going to wait". I had mentioned to him that things weren't right and that I was swelling immensly all day...(my bottom lip and chin were especially swollen and almost a bluish tint) He NEVER took my blood pressure, and also I told him that my baby had not been moving a lot. He told me that was due to the fact that my son was big, and told me I needed to take advice from my friend (she was in the room with me) because she was a "champ at having babies" Well she tried to tell him that the baby was being inactive and that I was having severe contractions, but he dismissed her too... rolled his eyes and left. I was so upset! He never monitered the heart rate, or my contractions, and if he had, he would have seen my son was in distress.. (the reports state that he was in distress for a few days before he died) I went in on 1/30/08 in the morning and that is when they couldn't find his heartbeat, That was the day my life changed. Also, I had been given BPP a few times, due to my son not being all that active, they all came back with a nuchal cord x2 presentation.. which is what caused his death. I was never made aware of this... This whole thing sucks,, but the way that I was treated was horrendous, and I would NEVER want this to happen to anyone else...


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## KellMcK (Jun 29, 2007)

Jessica - no real advice, only







and my deepest sympathies. I wish you peace and strength as you pursue this course of action to make sure that no other women experience the same tragedy at the hands of that doctor. I am so, so sorry for your loss.


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## Eliseatthebeach (Sep 20, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *namaste_mom* 
I don't know what you need to do, you may see some advice in the "Talk Amongst Ourselves" section (which you can only see when you are logged on). There seem to be some pretty knowledgeable ladies over there willing to help and discuss things rationally.

There are a couple of forums you won't have access to until you have been a member for 90 days and have at least 50 posts. The TAO section is one of them







Same with the smilies, no more than one until 90/50. Looks like you are getting some good advice here though.


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## jessicasocean (Mar 21, 2008)

Good advice definatly!! I thank you for sharing this board with me...


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Jessica, it sounds like what you actually want is to make a formal complaint against this doctor which might change the way he practices- or possibly prevent him from practicing again, is that it? A lawsuit won't necessarily do this, but I do know of people who have successfully brought complaints in the UK. I'd suggest ringing your state health department, telling them what you've told us and asking them what the complaint procedure is for negligence for a doctor. I'd then ask the same question of ACOG- the fact that he didn't take your BP is a big red flag to me.

I am so sorry for your loss. He and DS3 were born the same day, and it just seems so wrong that he isn't here with you.


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## FiddleMama (Feb 27, 2007)

I don't have any advice but I wanted to say that I'm so sorry for your loss and it seems clear from your story that your doctor was very negligent. I clicked on your pictures and you have a gorgeous family. Michael was a beautiful baby. I'm so sorry.


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## Kayda's Mom (Feb 5, 2007)

Jessica,

I have a friend who sued a doctor over a vaccination that damaged her child (another topic, not wanting to get into it here).
One thing I can say is that if you do decide to move forward with a law suit is to be prepared for it to go on for years and for it to be very stressful.

Often doctors have more money and resources than us and they are able to hire more expensive lawyers and lots of them.

I live in Canada (Manitoba) and maybe things are different where you live. I hope so. I really do because the doctor's negligence should be brought to light.

On a another note...I did see in the paper a while back a woman who was sucessful in her suit against a doctor here and that made me jump for joy.

I am VERY sorry about your child. Knowing that it may be been prevented is very tragic. I wish you all the best. *hugs*.


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## labortrials (Aug 7, 2007)

Jessica, I agree with others that you should pursue this at least with state medical boards and complain to the hospital and the hospital's governing organization. I know our hospital reports to: Joint Commission on Accreditation of Healthcare Organizations may be contacted at 1-800-994-6610 or [email protected].

Some other resources for filing complaints:
State Insurance Commissioner Complaint
State Medical Board Complaint
State Minority Office
State Nursing Board Complaint
State Healthy Start or Associated Improved Pregnancy program
State Pregnant Patient's Bill of Rights or Patient's Bill of Rights
State Medicaid Complaint Information

I am so sad for you and your family. I imagine this has been really hard on your DH and your girls too. Your son was beautiful!


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## Kim&Brooke (May 16, 2007)

Jessica - i would say that bringing a complaint against the doctor will have far more effect and less pain for you.
I have worked in medical negligence law and it can get very ugly and go on for years.
Complaints against doctors are taken seriously and investigated. You may be able to just get his practices changed by putting enough pressure on him. By making it known that you have brought a complaint against him he may take the next person seriously.

Good luck and do keep us updated

--Brooke


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## peacelovingmama (Apr 28, 2006)

Jessica,

I have never pursued a lawsuit but if you feel it would bring you peace, healing or closure, then it sounds like you should. Or at least file some sort of complaint so that this doctor realizes what he has done. I can't believe he didn't take your bp despite your facial swelling.









Michael was beautiful and I know you are hurting so very much right now. I wish I could take all of your pain away.


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## momz3 (May 1, 2006)

Hi jessica, and I'm so sorry for your loss









I feel that my ob is partially liable. I had a u/s that showed a "blood clot" he thought on my uterus...he said thats all...and not to worry...around 33 weeks I started have sharp pains on my right side. One night I had them so bad I could barely get out of bed.. he suggested a belly belt...and that its normal, blah blah blah (can we say LAZY?). Anywho, to make a longgg story short, I went into the hospital twice for mild contractions and all they did was make me drink water and sent me home. Now mind you I had had 2 cesareans previously befor ethat pregnancy which makes my risks for rupture higher. he is supposedly a high risk doc..?

And thats what happened. At 39 weeks 5 days (why he let me go to the very end knowing I had been having contractions and that that was dangerous to my uterus i don't know) I lost my baby girl to placental abruption and uterine rupture.
I talked to a few attys..ome said they'd look in to it, one said he saw not malpractice or negligence.


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## gratefulbambina (Mar 20, 2005)

Jessica you've been given some great advice here. I just wanted to say my heart breaks for your loss


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