# Stitched up too tight?



## AmyRS (Jan 28, 2007)

I had a beautiful home birth almost 11 weeks ago now, and just this weekend was finally brave enough to try sex for the first time with DH.

I had a labial tear (oww!) and a 2nd degree perineal tear. Both of them have healed very nicely, but I knew the perineal tear felt very tight.

Well, after trying it out last night I'm afraid my midwife gave me one stitch too many. We used tons of lube and took our time and it just wouldn't physically fit. It was uncomfortable and painful of course, but I feel literally too small now.

Anyone else experience this and can I expect things to stretch down there again? I'm beginning to get really worried!

Maybe I just need to give it more time to heal? I've heard of so many people DTD BEFORE 6 weeks PP and that blows my mind!!!


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## UrbanCrunchyMama (Aug 7, 2007)

I had an unwanted episiotomy during my birth with dd, and I felt tight during sex for quite some time. I don't have any hard facts to provide, but it's probably a healing issues as well as a hormonal issue. I believe I posted a similar question on another forum, and someone responded by saying that hormones released during breastfeeding may also contribute to this.

Like I said, I don't know how accurate this information is. Just wanted to let you know that other women experience tightness and that it will get better with time. Our dd is 21 months old, and I can barely feel the tightness if I'm sufficiently aroused.

Best,
Lydia


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## ctdoula (Dec 26, 2002)

I just wanted to say you're not alone. I had a very deep tear after my 1st birth (4th degree) and it took 5 months to no longer feel the scar. I waited until that point to resume intercourse, but when we did, no pain. It will get better!


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## momto l&a (Jul 31, 2002)

"The husband stitch"














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:


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## gottaknit (Apr 30, 2004)

I wonder if psychological issues could be contributing, too. I think it's pretty common for women to feel ambivalent about sex after giving birth. Just like the first few times you go to the bathroom can cause a moment of panic...







Anyway, my point is that maybe you're having a difficult time feeling relaxed. I hope your DH is being sweet and understanding about it.


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## bobandjess99 (Aug 1, 2005)

I think it is certainly possible you were sewn up tighter than previously, but not necesarily.
I had severe multiple tears, and chose NOT to get them stitched, and it still took well over 10 months for sex not to hurt. Despite knowing that everything down there was REALLY LOOSE (lots of stuff didn't grow back together and sort of "healed open", it still FELT tight and painful, even though it certainly wasn't.

While yes, some women do seem to heal very quickly and "want" to DTD very uickly after having a baby, and that is normal, it can also be normal to have lasting pain for months or even YEARS, and to not "want" sex for a much longer period of time than the oh-so-popular 6 weeks.


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## AmyRS (Jan 28, 2007)

Thanks for the advice so far









I'm sure being nervous about it isn't helping! I think we need to wait a little while longer and try again in a bit. I really hope it's just that it needs to heal more.

Thankfully my husband is amazing and has been very supportive through this whole experience!


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## Mamabeakley (Jul 9, 2004)

I felt that my (otherwise excellent) CNM (hb) might have sewn me up "too tight" after DS1's birth. I had a similar experience to what you're having.

I tore again, very slightly, in exactly the same place w/DS2's birth. We looked it over, and both DH and my (again excellent hb) CNM said they would stitch if it were them but it was my body so I should do what felt right to me. I decided not to. I guess I felt like if I tore there twice maybe it was because I didn't need to be tight there, and I couldn't imagine that something so superficial was going to make me "loose" - after all, there are a lot of internal muscles involved!

Sex was comfy much sooner than the first time around, which could have to do with emotional stuff, too - but I think no stitches helped.


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## RachelGS (Sep 29, 2002)

The other thing to consider is whether your estrogen is low with breastfeeding, making your tissues thin and painful. That happened to me with both kids, but the first time it was really a nightmare. I didn't have any tearing or stitches at all, but felt exactly like you described. An estrogen ring worked for me.


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## PPK (Feb 15, 2007)

Right before my 6 week pp check-up I decided to try to have sex to see how it goes, so if there's a problem I could tell the mw. Well, it felt really tight and painful and I was thinking I must have gotten stitched too tightly. Well, a few days later at my 6 week check up, my mw was able to check me with no pain and said everything healed up fine. I tried sex later on and was miraculously fine. When it really came down to it, I felt looser than I used to be, and I think its just that I was dry (using olive, almond, or coconut oil worked fine),and like a pp poster said, that maybe the tissues are thinner than usual.

In addition to all that, I know I have had some emotional "stuff" to deal with pp and reconnecting to myself physically/sexually..despite having a 'good' birthing experience, I still felt the whole childbirth process was violent and somewhat traumatic on many levels. Sex has been helping that though..just need to find the time now! Good Luck!


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## dantesmama (May 14, 2006)

I had an episiotomy with stitches with my first birth, and sex was painful for about 8 months afterward. I tore during my second birth, and just left it to heal on its own - we just dtd for the first time last night, 8 weeks pp, and I only had a little discomfort right at the beginning. I think stitches can definitely interfere with sex for a lot of women.


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## mommy_e (Feb 15, 2006)

I felt similar after my first birth, 2nd degree tear straight down the midline. It was somwhere between 3 months (when I know it was still uncomfortable) and 10 months (when DC2 was concieved) when I started feeling better.

Second birth was a tear to the side, and I felt much better faster. I thought it was the location of the tear. However, 3rd birth I tore straight down again along the first scar and had no pain at all when we started up again. Same OB stitching all three times, so I'm thinking that it's was a combination of the location and it being the first time stretching of everything down there. Also, I think the effects of BF were not as great the second and third times for me, almost like my body is now used to the hormones.


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## AmyRS (Jan 28, 2007)

Updating to say I went to my family Dr today and he thinks I just need more time to heal







I hope he's right!! If it's not better in 3 more weeks I have to go back again. There is definately a thick band of scar tissue but he thinks it will get better with time.


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