# Sex and nudity?



## tribalmax (Oct 10, 2004)

Hello,

I am just wondering what all of you think about sex and nudity with regards to children. We cosleep, and right now, I don't see any problem with sleeping in the buff. But does there come a time when that becomes inappropriate? I want to teach my daughter that her body is beautiful and that nudity is natural. But I also know that some of my behaviors (such as walking around the house naked in the evening) might have to shift somewhat. But I am not sure what the line is.

The same thing for sex. Right now, she is too young to know what we are doing. And since we have 2 full size beds next to one another, I don't worry too much about making love while she is sleeping in the other bed right next to us. But there may come a time that this feels inappropriate.

What do you wise women think? How can I teach my daughter that her body is beautiful and natural while also teaching her that some aspects of nudity and sexuality are private?


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## radmama (Jan 5, 2005)

My son is 5 now, he still sleeps with me. He is most comfortable in pj's where as I sleep naked. It's never really been an issue up to this point because i've never made nudity an issue. I really believe it's the most natural state of being.
We hung out on nude beaches together, and it took him a while to ask to get naked. But I let him make this decision for himself.

As for intimacy when co-sleeping, I can't really speak to this one, as i'm a single mama.


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## SirPentor (Sep 15, 2004)

I'm not a woman, nor am I particularly wise, but here's my advice anyway.

It's probably OK to have sex in the bed with her there until you think it isn't alright. This assumes that you are a reasonable adult (and by implication not a pedophile). I'd make sure she is asleep, and then when it doesn't seem OK anymore (for us at about a year), use the couch or move her out for a few hours.

In our family we say that your genitals are private. That means that you probably don't want people who aren't in your family to see them. We tell our daughter (six now) that in our society people have decided that you aren't supposed to show most people your yoni, your breasts or (in my case) your "junk". We talked about how in some cultures that isn't true. We have the rule that you can be naked around the family if you want. We never really made a rule that our daughter (or son for that matter, but he's only three) had to put on clothes when people came over, but eventually she just decided that she needs to.

I have no idea if that helps.

_Removed a joke that some found offensive, in poor taste, lame, unfunny and maybe some other things too. Apologies to anyone I upset._


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## kavamamakava (Aug 25, 2004)

I think nudity becomes innappropriate when your child expresses discomfort or a desire for you to cover up. I don't think there's anything wrong with family nudity and don't think there's a magic age where it used to be fine but suddenly becomes wrong.
As for sex, I don't have sex if I think my children will be aware of it - even if they can't see. That's a private, adult activity and I think it would bother my children on some level to one day realize that they heard/saw mom and dad having sex (but I'm not talking about if they accidently stumble upon us). I guess it's inappropriate, for me, in the same room as baby, after the baby is a few months old. I also see it as respecting their privacy.


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## Ambrose (Apr 20, 2004)

I have a 5 month old so I'm not quite there yet but I'm assuming when she gets to be a year old it might become an issue, at least for DH. I walk around naked and topless and sleep practically nude... -sighs- it might be an issue for me too.


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## hunnybumm (Nov 1, 2003)

I also walk around mostly nude (just my undies) a lot, I only sleep in undies because DSs feet can reach my hair.... and it is just a little too wierd for me. DH also walks around in only boxers, and sleeps nude or in boxers. DS also goes naked around the house a lot inbetween diaper changes. I think it is ok to be naked in bed or around the house as long as all members of the family feel comfortable with it. If one member feels wierd about it and expresses that the don't feel comfortable, then it should stop. I don't feel this goes for younger children, if my 6 yo felt uncomfortable with my 2 yo being naked I would let the younger be naked, I see this as more of an adult vs child thing.

As far as sex in the bed with the kid, thats a no go for me. I can't stand my dog being on the bed when we GIO much less my baby.







Just my personal preference, as long as both adults feel comfortable AND the child is alseep I think thats ok, just not for me. My DS is 13 months and no way could I do anything sexual with my DH infront of him. He doesn't want DH hugging me for more than 5 seconds much less being intimate. DS would probably think DH was hurting me and totally freak out.

Also, I think at this age DS can retain memories even if he doesn't know what they are, he may get older and be horrified at what he saw when he was a kid. I remember walking in my on mom and her husband GIO, I was probably 2 - 3 , not something I want to put my kid through.


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## SirPentor (Sep 15, 2004)

How can you people stand walking around naked? If one of us is naked for like 4 minutes we freeze our asses off. If we wanted to pull that off our heating bill would skyrocket!


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## Bookworm (Oct 6, 2004)

I have been known to sleep not only in long-sleeved, long-pants pjs, but also, on rare occaisons, a hat. And yes, this thread caught my eye because I do worry about what THAT will teach my kids. But it is honestly how I am comfortable.


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## chel (Jul 24, 2004)

down here in the south is a great place for nudist, (if you can get out-of-sight of the moral police). This week has been in the 70's. Though I love the PNW summers. Anyways my 4yr dd and DH are always naked at home. they are always alot warmer than I am. No fun peeking in my windows as I dress like I'm at the northpole all year round, though DH is nice to look at. So far dd hasn't had issues with nudity. She has to take everything off at bedtime.
As for the GIO and co-sleeping. DH and I have been known to GIO with dd alseep in the same bed. dd is a great sleeper and goes out quickly (after nursing) and never wakes up during the night (I hope I'm not cursing myself). We also sleep in 2 twin beds pushed together so we are fairly far apart and the motions don't pass to the other bed. The room is pitch black at night so even if dd woke she couldn't see anything and when she wakes before her eyes are fully opened she's asking for boobs so we can always tell the second she's awake.


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## katallen (Jan 4, 2005)

My daughter is 2 and thinks that naked time is the best time of the day. I don't think my nakedness or hers will bother her because it is natural. I come from a long line of women who are just more comfortable naked and it hasn't affected any of us in a bad way.


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## hunnybumm (Nov 1, 2003)

We are currently stationed in NC where the nice fall like weather has hit us.







It is incredibly nice outside, we actually have had to turn our AC on a couple of times because it was just too hot in our house. But even when it is cold we just pump the heater up. We live on a military base and our electricity is paid for us.









I do tend to wear clothing if I am going to be in the front part of the house for more than a minute or two. My friends have been known to stop by unexpected, which can cause quite the embaressment when I run past the front door in nothing but a hand towel.


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## kchoffmann (Aug 16, 2004)

I would love to be naked more often, but if I let Ezra see my boobs, he leers at them with this little smile on his face, like he's thinking, "I'd like a piece of that." So, I stay covered up for the most part. How quickly they become little men!

I'm just jealous about how much you all seem to be having sex...


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

Never mind


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## Vertonia (Dec 30, 2004)

Well I have a different approach to all of this.
Nudity-
My dd is 6 and loves to be in panties as much as possible. I live in panties and tiny t shirt. Since I live in the south it is hot all of the time here. Just today it was 70 and this is Jan! We have our cold times where I wear my zip up footed sleeper- yes they come in mommy sizes too. But for the most part, I hate clothes. My ds is 7mo and is a diaper baby. As for the boyfriend- always in sleep pants. Since the dd isnt his we feel it disrespectful for him to lounge in boxers though if he could, he would. I do miss sleeping nude though. Sadly the ds is long and loves to keep his feet warm usually by digging them into my tummy and poking his toes where they dont belong. He sleeps with his feet kicked over my knees/leg. (Ds is between 28-30"long.)

My dd and I share baths quite frequently with each other and my ex has told me he dissapproved of this. Saying since she is 6 she is too old. But for us, we love it and still do it. I love playing barbies in the tub and while I shave she pretends to shave. We wash each others hair and it is so much easier to supervise and make sure she does not empty the shampoo bottles out to make soap soup. She was raised with mommy in her panties and her in hers too. If it is done by mommy I feel little girls will do the same and not find it odd. Though she does like to sleep naked still. When friends come over this could be interesting.







(I think I will have to do some nightgown shopping soon.)
Sex-
As for sex, my thoughts might be odd but they fit my life and may not fit yours. When my first was born I didnt have sex for a year. My ex was moved to his own bed. This time though my boyfriend and I make love whenever the need arises and this is usually nightly. We co sleep with our 7mo ds and find he doesnt mind us moving the bed. There has been more than one occasion we spooned and I nursed at the same time to put our ds back to sleep. Sometimes he wakes up and reaches out to hold our hand and smiles. We feel our intimacy is natural and if we hide it the day will come when he gets what we are doing and gets afraid. There will come a day when he understands what we are doing is private and we will have to find private time but for now, he just knows we are loving is some foreign way.
Thank goodness my dd and I had the talk on how babys are made when our ds was in my tummy. She kinda laughed and said "oh, thats what a vagina and penis are for." That was it. No fanfare, no "gross."

I guess for some nudity is not cool. For others it is only natural. For some sex is too weird with baby in the room or watching. For some it is never a concern. I think you should do what makes you feel good. If you feel odd or weird, dont do it. Its not as though making changes is new to any of us, seeing how we are all pioneers of our own destiny.


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