# Lots of questions about missed miscarriage*MY UPDATE POST #13



## abigail_b (May 3, 2007)

Hi All,
I am almost 10 weeks pregnant but it looks like my baby stopped growing at about 6 weeks. I am very sad but at peace with it because we weren't really trying yet (I am still BFing my just turned 2 year old son and my cycles were just starting to return) and I just feel that maybe it wasn't time yet. I had some intuition that something wasn't right from the beginning.
I have been trying to really "process" it emotionally over the last couple of weeks (after an 8 week ultrasound revealed that I was measuring 2 weeks behind).
Anyway, all of this was confirmed just yesterday, and I haven't spoken to my MW yet. I REALLY want to do this naturally, but I have a lot of questions. Any insight that can be offered will be much appreciated!
How long do doctors usually let you try naturally before insisting on D&C?
How long could this potentially go on for (I really want this to happen soon, I don't know if I could let it linger for a few more weeks)...?
What is the D&C experience like? Would I be put under (and would that be compatible with BFing)?
What would the recovery from a D&C be like, and how would that compare with recovery from a natural M/S?
From what I understand after a natural M/S we could try again after one complete cycle...how about after D&C?

I have read a lot of the M/S stories in the sticky, so the one thing I do feel prepared for is the experience of doing it naturally.

Thank you so much!


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

My situation wasn't quite the same as I had a blighted ovum. But I carried to 20 weeks before m/c. Personally I would not consider a d&c without medical reason.

-Angela


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## furfeet (Aug 25, 2007)

I'm sorry for your loss Abigail.

I was actually in your shoes last week, right down to the bf'ing a 2 yr. old. My baby stopped growing at 6 1/2 weeks, I found out at almost 9 weeks and miscarried at almost 10 weeks.

My doctor said it's ok to wait about 4 weeks after the baby stops growing before the infection risk goes up, but it's really your choice if you want to wait and monitor.

I had the choice of d&c or wait and although the waiting was really hard I wouldn't change it for the world. When it started, the cramping and bleeding was more than a regular period but I actually got to pass and hold my tiny baby, and lay it to rest in the earth.

It varies with everyone and every experience how long the bleeding lasts, some people have d&c's because they think they'll be able to try again earlier but then end up bleeding for 3 weeks. For me, my bleeding was only heavy for about 3 days and pretty much done in about a week. .

You can try acupuncture to encourage things along, it works for me.

About the d&c, what they do really depends where you go. For instance at my hospital you're awake which I've heard (from my mother and others) that's a terrible experience. For some people it's the right choice though. I've heard that being put under is much less stressful, but I do not think general is compatible with bf'ing.

I remember thinking that both options sucked really bad, but I had to make the decision I knew I could live with.

Sorry you have to make the decision too, it does suck.


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## momoftworedheads (Mar 6, 2003)

I am so sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts!

I had a second tri loss last year and my MW and Drs told me it could take up to 4 weeks to start. I was 16 weeks along. I did end up being induced about 2 weeks later.
I would not get a D&C unless you have to.

For your sake, I hope things are more natural for you!

Hope and prayers,
Jen


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## Rose-Roget (May 25, 2008)

Abigail, I was in your DDC and in a similar position - hanging in limbo for a while. I'm sorry for the way your situation turned out, but I'm glad that you're at peace with it. I'm coming to terms also.

I'm sorry that I don't have any answers for you to your questions. I'll be following along to get more answers too.


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## abigail_b (May 3, 2007)

Thanks so much for your replies. I am also very sorry for all of your losses.

furfeet- do you mean that you used acupuncture to acutally encourage the M/S to start, or just to help things move along once it starts on its own?

angela- wow, 20 weeks. It is overwhelming to me to think about waiting another 2 1/2 mos... did you have any spotting before you reached 20 weeks?

I have had two episodes of the teeny teeny tiniest amount of spotting, and on the U/S they said I had a "subchorionic bleed"--there was a little blood coming into the uterus from around the sac. I am wondering if this makes it more likely that the M/S will come sooner, or that it doesn't, but does raise my risk of infection if I wait too long...?


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *abigail_b* 

angela- wow, 20 weeks. It is overwhelming to me to think about waiting another 2 1/2 mos... did you have any spotting before you reached 20 weeks?

I have had two episodes of the teeny teeny tiniest amount of spotting, and on the U/S they said I had a "subchorionic bleed"--there was a little blood coming into the uterus from around the sac. I am wondering if this makes it more likely that the M/S will come sooner, or that it doesn't, but does raise my risk of infection if I wait too long...?

I started spotting around week 16.

I have read nothing to show that bleeding would increase the risk of infection.










-Angela


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## chi_mama (May 25, 2008)

Another option is cytotec at home to induce the miscarriage. That was the path I chose and it worked best for me. I was able to stay at home and not have a d/c but I had reached a point were the waiting was taking too much of a toll on me and my family
Sorry mama


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## michaelsmama (May 20, 2003)

When we first found out the honduran doc wanted me to do a d&c that night and i was told if i had it around 8pm they would try to use as light of an anesthesia as possible to speed along bf-ing and i'd be nursing by the morning (too long of a wait for my 9 m/o but we didn't do it anyways).

i had a missed m/c, spotting started sunday, bleeding tues, u/s tues confirmed nothing there, moved back to the states thursday, ended bleeding sat, spotted sunday, u/s monday confirmed process was over. it was super quick in a surreal way, but at least didn't drag out. (oh i was 6w3d when i started bleeding). not sure if all early ones are that quick but mine was. my story is posted somewhere else, i'll find the link...
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=974997

Praying for a peaceful m/c for you and good support along the way.


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## christinespurlock (Oct 10, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chi_mama* 
Another option is cytotec at home to induce the miscarriage. That was the path I chose and it worked best for me. I was able to stay at home and not have a d/c but I had reached a point were the waiting was taking too much of a toll on me and my family
Sorry mama


I agree, I delivered my baby at home 2 hours after using the cytotec. I'm not all that into medication, but I was really greatful for this.


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## Ms. Cellaneous (Aug 2, 2008)

Hi Abigail, So sorry you're going though this, it totally sucks. I was in a similar situation -- baby stopped developing at 6 weeks, I found at about it at 10 weeks. I had a D&C at 12 weeks, as baby showed no signs of vacating the premises on his own and I really needed the closure for my own sanity. So I can't speak from experience or compare with a natural miscarriage but I can tell you about my experience with D&C.

I was put under general anesthesia -- the last thing I remember is lying on the operating table, breathing through a mask and thinking, "Well this isn't working, I don't feel sleepy at all..." Next thing I knew I was waking up in the recovery room about an hour later.

After about 5-10 minutes there they brought me to a private room where my husband met me. I think I drank some water there. I bled a bit, but not alarming amounts. Stayed home from work the next day (Friday), was fine to go to work on Monday. No real pain -- some PMS type cramping the day after, I think I took an Advil and was fine.

My cycle returned the next month, and we started trying then too. My o/b (whom I really liked) said basically you can start trying whenever you're ready, it's more psychological than physical.

I will say we have been TTC every since (10 months now) with no luck. I have no evidence that the D&C has made it harder for me to conceive, but I do wonder. I'm happy with the decision I made though. I feel like I'm rambling but I hope some of that info is helpful.


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## mytwogirls (Jan 3, 2008)

I chose to have a D&E for my own personal closure (though part of me wanted to pass my baby on my own, but I really was scared to death!) and the experience was very gentle and kind. The staff at the procedure center was so caring and understanding. They knew why I was getting the D&E and said how sorry they were and offered me a shoulder to cry on. The procedure itself was fine and very minimal bleeding. I conceived four weeks later with my first daughter.

Sidenote: If you tell your doc before the procedure you are breast feeding, it is OK to go under general. I had to have a D&C after my daughter was born due to retained products of conception and I breast fed immediately after the procedure and she had NO side effects whatsoever.


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## abigail_b (May 3, 2007)

Well here is my update:
At 11 1/2 weeks (last Wednesday) I took 2 steps- I had accupuncture done to encourage things and I also scheduled the D&C for this past Monday. I have something I have to be at for work tomorrow and I really wanted to get closure emotionally. Also, I was feeling physically pretty horrible while everything was stagnating. Queasy, tired, and just genrally yucky. I knew I had some internal bleeding (that we saw on the U/S) but even that was coming only as very occasional teeny tiny amounts of of pink or brown. It was like my body was just stuck.
The accupuncture was amazing. I felt so much better when it was over, and within 15 minutes I started with some red blood, and then a sort of mini "gush" of blood tinged fluid. Then each day I started having a little more red blood (I would call it heavy spotting with little clots) until Saturday when I started with period type cramps and light/medium flow with passage of some big clots. This continued through Sunday. Monday morning (day of the D&C) the cramps started to get much worse and the clots were getting larger. I was torn as to what to do- spoke to my midwife and she thought that since I really felt I needed to be somewhere this Thursday and the d/c was already scheduled to just go for it. So my husband and I went to the hosptial as planned. By the time I got there I was in severe labor-like pain. The contractions came and went and were SO painful. They gave me some morphine in an IV. THis was my first time with that and it did take the edge off. Right before I was brought down for the operation I asked to get up to pee. I made it to the bathroom and then there was a huge gush- blood everywhere and I felt something huge come out. The cramps also immediately subsided so I thought for sure it was the sac. It was huge and we put it in a plastic tub. The nurses also thought it was the sac but wanted to bring me down to have the dr. look. When we got down he looked and said it was just a huge blood clot (he poked around at it). He felt that if I continued to go naturally it would probably be a couple weeks of bleeding. I decided to just go for the D&C. It went fine, I had no issues with the general anesthia (just sleepy afterward). He did determine that the sac and placenta were all still inside. It was a suction d/c and he said that he didn't really have to scrape. It is 2 days later and I am a little sore/little cramping/little bleeding but that is it. I don't regret my decision.
I am really grateful to MDC for many reasons, but one is the sticky with women's real m/c stories. Even my midwife with 30 years experience said that since the growth was 6 weeks it would just be like a heavy period. Hello, it was NOTHING AT ALL like a heavy period. Even when I was bleeding it was so different- more like EWCM with blood and then clots. When it really got going the cramps felt just exactly like when I was in labor with my son- every bit as painful. And that last clot was as big as a softball. I believe that because I was 12 weeks I was having more of a "12 week m/c" rather than a 6 week M/C like she assumed would happen. there is still so much ignorance about m/c in the medical community which is astonishing given how common they are.
Anyway, I don't have any regrets about my choices. I would really recommend accupuncture to anyone looking to jump start the process. The kind I had done invovled electric pulses coming into the needles. If I didn't have this particular obligation at work I may have gone naturally, but I know the pain would've have gotten even worse which is a little scary. It is one thing when you can focus on meeting your baby to get you through the contractions, but quite another when you know you're baby has been gone for weeks.
Anyway, just wanted to share. Thanks for listening.


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## mytwogirls (Jan 3, 2008)

I am glad your procedure went well yet I am so sorry you had to endure it. My Ob told me upfront if I went natural it would be painful with possible heavy blood loss and for me personally I could not stand it emotionally either. I just wanted it over, yet I didn't want to do at the same time (does that make sense?) Anyway it was rough but my D&E was done with no side effects and I got my period four weeks later and caught the egg and that one stuck...so stuck in fact she is two years old and sleeping in the next room







Anyway, good luck hon !


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