# Silly family bed question



## Annais (Jul 26, 2002)

Howdy!

I am 9 1/2 weeks pregnant, and already thinking about what I need, don't need when baby gets here! We are planning on doing the family bed, I'm already looking forward to it.

So, here is my question: will we need to buy a crib? I think we probably won't, but others are telling me differently. I thought I'd go to the source, experienced family bed mamas!
Any input would be greatly appreciated!
TIA


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## momto l&a (Jul 31, 2002)

Cribs are an abosolute necessity, for storing clean laundry


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## hahamommy (Dec 18, 2001)

:LOL I totally agree with Erin! I would *NOT* invest your hard-earned money into a crib, but if someone offers you one and you just can't turn it down, use it for laundry, toy storage... anything but your babe










~diana







ild


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## Super Pickle (Apr 29, 2002)

Cribs are not a necessity.
We got the same thing from all sides: "But you _have_ to have a crib!"
And when we didn't have one when ds was 6 months old, MIL bought us one.
DS has never slept in it; we do use it for occasional time-out's. Otherwise, it just clutters up the room.
Don't spend your own money on a crib if you know you're doing the family bed.


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## merpk (Dec 19, 2001)

Quote:

_*... by momto l&a*
Cribs are an absolute necessity, for storing clean laundry







_
:LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL

The rest of the world can't get past the idea that babies belong behind bars. I just don't get it.

Ignore the crib.

My suggestion would be to put your mattresses on the floor (we have wall2wall futons in our bedroom, 5inthebed) so you don't have to worry so much about falling out of the bed, either. (Though young babies should not be put near the edge, they can fall off, and even the 4inch drop off a futon would be dangerous ...)

The folks who are pushing cribs are sure to tell you that you absolutely must schedule your feedings and feed soandso many ounces







: etc., etc. ... and since breasts don't come with liquid measurement indications ...







: :LOL :LOL :LOL

Sorry. The family bed is something that makes me get all dewey-eyed & verbose all at the same time.

Good luck ...

- Amy


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## Annais (Jul 26, 2002)

Thanks guys!

That is such a relief!









We'll just spend the money on cloth diapers, a much better investment


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## happykat (Dec 24, 2002)

We family bed most of the time. Other times dh sleeps in the spare room while ds and I have the "family bed".

But we do have a crib. And although ds has never slept in it (he is 6 months old), I like that we have one - and ds is in it for a few minutes most days.

We have 2 dogs and 2 cats - the crib is a hair-free/pet-free zone for ds. I can put him there while hauling diaper pails to the basement or if I have to clean muddy paws and know that he is safe from accidental trampling.

The other day - one of the cats vomited and the dogs were heading over to eat it (gross huh? - no wonder washing diapers seems like nothing <grin>). So ds was put in crib with mobile & toys while I scooped up vomit and cleaned carpet.

I don't think everyone *needs* a crib - but if someone offers to loan you one...think about trying it out for a while. You may find that you use it after all - just not in the way it was intended.

And it makes a good toybox!

happykat


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## guest^ (Oct 29, 2002)

We never had a crib.

We've always slept on a futon about 5 inches off the floor...

We were given a crib mattress, and for awhile,had the futon on the floor with crib mattress next to it...

And now,the crib mattress is on a toddler bed,pushed against our raised futon...

I suppose there were times when I wished we had a crib for napping.,..like when kids were7-12mos old and could(and were) crawling right off futon at naps...

My good friend uses one for naps and for a safe place to put her dd when peeing,showering,etc...

mamapoppins


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## taepae (Jan 9, 2003)

I am a new mother and find the family bed great. My Aunt found a small playpen at the dump or yard sale and it is convenient for holding clothes and the occasional babe. It is small enough to fold away.


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## Teresa (Jan 25, 2002)

Put the crib $ towards a nice King size bed and baby-safe bedding instead.

Teresa


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## Czen:) (Jul 31, 2002)

Differing opinion here! Hope thats OK. We family bed here and love it. But once DD could roll/crawl I started putting her in the crib to nap and for the first part of the night. She is worn to sleep in a sling, laid down asleep in her crib, and picked up as soon as she calls out. If its night time she then joins us in our bed for the rest of the night. Personally, with the bedrooms on another floor from the laundry. etc. I feel much more confident getting chores done while she's sleeping in a safe contained space.
I think the family bed and a crib can co-exist nicely and even make life a little bit easier! However, I'm pretty sure this isn't to popular of a view to have here.


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## Annais (Jul 26, 2002)

Thanks!
It's great to hear everyone's opinions!


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## 4inNH (Dec 3, 2002)

Hi:

If someone wants to buy you a crib you could suggest the co-family sleeping portacrib. I believe RightStart or One Step Ahead has it. The side attaches to your bed so it's sort of like sleeping together.

Since our bed is only full size, we used the crib my MIL gave us by taking off one side and putting it up against our bed.

We're shopping for a king size now as we have two children and the full is really cozy!

Michelle


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## pioneermama (Aug 3, 2002)

we bought a crib and it wasn't even used once! We finally gave it to a family who wanted it. Buying a guard rail for the family bed might be a good idea though.


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## Jennifer Z (Sep 15, 2002)

I wouldn't buy a crib. We thought we needed it and all it does is take up space. ds just turned 1 and we finally just took it apart so we had the space instead.

What I would suggest is the Graco pack and play with a changing table. We have one in our living room and it can be used to corral him if neccessary (almost never happens) and for toy, diaper & clothes storage. It also has a bassinet attachment for when babe is little (we used this for naps when he was bitty to keep him away from the cats). Use the changing table all the time.

I am not comfortable putting him on the bed alone, so we just put him to sleep on a blanket with the boppy underneath it (creates a "lap like" feeling)...I lay next to him and nurse him to sleep and he sacks out in the living room. Because we never put him in a "quiet place" to sleep he can now sleep through anything...vaccumm, dishes, people talking. Now that he is a bit older, he will sometimes snuggle onto the blanket and go to sleep on his own when he gets tired. (proof that you don't need to "train" your child to self comfort, they will do it on their own when they are ready for it) This had the added advantage of being easy to transport when we spent Christmas with in-laws.


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## Britishmum (Dec 25, 2001)

We bought one for dd#1 and she never used it. With a second child it can be useful - as a safe place for the babe away from a toddler. But not the way others use a crib for long periods









Dd#2 actually likes it and sometimes spends the first part of the night in it before we go up to bed. Dd #1 loved the swing when colicky. Babies are all different - I'd wait and see what works for yours before spending $$$s on any equipment.


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## Cakes (Jul 30, 2002)

We never actually bought a crib. People gave us one with our first and she rarely slept in it. I knew very little about co sleeping at that point but did not want my little one so far away. Our second endevour ended up as twins and they have never slept in our borrowed cribs. We have a king and queen bed side by side and everyone sleeps together.


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## Solange (Apr 10, 2002)

ditto to all who have come before me....
No crib....
We had one b/c like you we were *told* that we *needed* it...but it just became a cage for ds's stuffed animals and a good show to the inlaws when they came that he actually may be sleeping in it and not with us...lol....I finally took it down at around 3 months old when I just got tired of trying to cover up the fact that we were not your mainstream parent types to our extended family members.
Congrats good luck and welcome..


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## lucina3 (Jun 25, 2002)

We won't be buying a crib. They aren't necessary, except, as someone said, they make great storage areas. :LOL

Dh and I are TTC our first baby together (my 4th) and when Dh said "What kind of crib should we get?" Our 4 yo looked at him very seriously and said "Daddy, we don't put babies in cages in this house!"


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## lovnmama (Oct 21, 2002)

When we were expecteing our 1st child, dh and I went out and bought a crib, because we didn't know where baby would sleep. We recieved beautiful bedding with cordinating curtains as gifts. The room looked like something out of a catalog.
Once baby arrived, ds wanted nothing to do with the crib. Co-sleeping was the only way for us. We were closet co-sleepers.
We finally took the crib down when ds figured out how to climb up it, at 15 months. We never even put it back up when our 2nd arrived.







I agree that cribs serve as great storage bins for clean clothes. They keep the in-laws from asking too many nosey questions, which can be nice for new parents.








Best wishes for you and baby!


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## richardsmom (Jan 6, 2003)

I really like having a crib. We use it for naps (which ds doesn't seem to mind). I also sometimes use it at the beginning of the night (when ds goes to sleep before mommy!). Once he wakes up (usually in an hour or two) he comes into bed with us. I know this is probably an unpopular opinion, but I am actually hopeful that one day he will spend a bigger portion of the night in the crib. But since he tends to wake up ever hour or two all night long, I just don't see that happening in the immediate future.

One other note, in the early months (ds is now 7 1/2 months) we used a cosleeper that attaches to our bed (3 sides). When ds was younger he started out in that at the beginning of the night and some naps (when he wasn't napping in my arms that is). I really liked it.


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## Mariposa (Nov 12, 2002)

i also wanted to add that we bought a rail for our bed at babies r us or some such place- supposedly a rail for kid beds but we put it on one side of our bed and put the other side against the wall. so the family bed has always been a safe place for ds to nap alone.







( i also have friends who have used a pack and play in lieu of a crib- it's cheaper, more versatile, and you can fold it away when you want to! )


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## guestmama9924 (Mar 16, 2002)

Quote:

_Originally posted by Annais_
*So, here is my question: will we need to buy a crib?*
I think it is nice for baby to have a space. Even if they don't sleep there. Both my girls were/are sleeping with us but I could get them to nap in their cribs, and sometimes sleep part of the night in there if one of us was ill.
My toddler likes to climb into her crib, and play babies, cover them up, cuddle, read books and have some down time.

Maybe start with a cradle- bigger than a bassinet . I had a cradle in my room and say I woke up early, I could move baby into the cradle while I hopped into the shower. They can stay in a cradle until they can sit up- around 5 months or so.


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## nikirj (Oct 1, 2002)

Quote:

_Originally posted by momto l&a_
*Cribs are an abosolute necessity, for storing clean laundry







*
OMG, that is EXACTLY what ours got used for. We left it up for like 10 months, too. Beleive me, that thing can hold WAAY too much laundry. When we finally wanted to take it down we found some 'new' stuff at the bottom of the pile ;-).

Anyway, I agree, you definately do not need a crib. You will probably hear otherwise only from those who think that you will not be able to cosleep for some mainstream 'because that's just wrong' kind of reason. Everyone else will agree they are strictly optional and probably won't get used.

My kids got toddler beds when they were ready for a separate place to nap or sleep part of the night.


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## Pigpen (Dec 12, 2002)

We have two boys who have always slept w/us. We bought the obligatory crib the first time around and never used it. We are thinking about having another child so I've given sleeping arrangements a lot of thought lately. I was thinking that buying a moses basket would be a good idea for naps for the first year or so. Then we'll put our mattress back on the floor and probably add a twin to go next to it. I definately would recommend saving your money, use it for something you know you'll use (like cloth diapers, good idea







).


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## Piglet68 (Apr 5, 2002)

Chiming in a little late here but with the same old song: we didn't bother buying a crib either. She napped right next to me on the sofa for the longest time, or I'd just lay her on the floor on a bed of towels or blankets if I was doing chores and had to be out of her sight for a while. And like another person said, DD naps everywhere and sleeps through anything.

If somebody insists on buying you one, or if the expense of a crib is not a detriment to your budget, I'm sure you can find uses for it, as some of the other mamas here have suggested, for naps and other such events. And of course there is nothing wrong with that!!!!


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## velveeta (May 30, 2002)

I wanted to bring up the doggerino issue again. We are not planning to buy a crib, but my mother is offering to buy us one. So, we will probably let her (mom supports family bed, but thinks that crib is good for naps).

My two dogs sometimes jump up, and I just don't think a moses basket would do it for us.

I still haven't made up my mind yet about *anything* that we "need." Except of course, lots and LOTS of beautiful cloth dipes!









Jean


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## WriterMama (Mar 27, 2002)

*


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## Annais (Jul 26, 2002)

This may sound silly: I kind of know that my parents would offer to buy us a crib, but I really want a chair-and-a-half to put in our bedroom for nursing! So I was hoping they would buy me that instead...







Plus my mom has a pack-and-play that she got for my nieces that she said she would give to me, so that could work out nicely. I think I will definitely start with a co-sleeper attached to the side of our bed, dh is a very heavy sleeper, so I think that would be a good idea until the baby is quite a bit older. At what age would the co-sleeper stop being appropriate? Just curious.
Thanks again everyone!


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## lauren (Nov 20, 2001)

A crib with one side removed makes a nice extension for a queen bed. Baby can roll over into his own space making more room for mom and dad. This worked for us. We also had a porta crib which our daughter would start the night off in, then join us around 1 am. She was a very rolly off the bed kind of baby and this way we didn't have to worry about her during the hours between when she went to bed and we did. I agree, a mixture can be nice, but it's not a priority to get a crib before the baby is born, as it won't be useful until at least 3 mos or so. If you figure you need one, one will probably come your way.....


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