# Non-co-sleeping: MUST we get a crib???



## HarperCait (Jan 14, 2008)

Sorry if this is in the wrong place, I wasn't sure where to put it.

We are having our first, and planning to have the little munchkin in our room during the early months (in his/her own bassinet/sleeping spot) but nap in his/her room during the day, and later when sleeping through the night.

Is it ABSOLUTELY necessary to buy a crib? It just seems like such a waste of money! You use it for such a short time, relatively speaking. Why couldn't we just put a mattress on the floor and have the baby sleep on that??

I've read some stats that say many babies die sleeping in "adult beds" and that a crib is the safest place for a baby- but does that just mean a big bed, on a frame up off the floor, or one that's pushed against the wall? What?

What if we had a single bed mattress, pulled away from the walls so the baby couldn't get stuck. Or what about a bed like this, but turned towards the wall, (and the crack stuffed with foam).
http://www.ikea.com/ca/en/catalog/products/30080316

The rest of the room would be baby-proofed and there would be a baby gate on the door.

Opinions?? Thanks!


----------



## MeepyCat (Oct 11, 2006)

I'm not a big fan of the mattress on the floor for new babies. You are going to be lifting the baby onto and off of it a lot, and to me, that screams back strain. I know that babies are tiny and all, but give the ergonomics some thought - pregnancy is tough on your spine.

There's a number of ways that babies are hurt in (or falling out of) adult beds. They can get stuck on pillows and loose bedding and suffocate. They can fall and get hurt. Falling and getting hurt is usually not as much of a problem as getting stuck between the bed and other furniture, or the wall (although injuries from falls can be quite serious, and having seen my own kid take the occasional head first dive to the floor, I would not advise you to not worry about them). The typical infant mattress is much firmer than an adult mattress, and IMO, that's a pretty reasonable thing.

I'm not a big fan of the Ikea thing with the crack stuffed with foam either. For one, I don't think the foam will stay in there, and that stuff would be a suffocation hazard. Once it's out, then you'd have that crack between wall and furniture, and it is my experience that the only way to keep a piece of furniture that someone sleeps in from shifting away from the wall is to bolt it to the wall.

Have you looked into cribs that convert into toddler and then adult-size beds? I'm pretty sure I've seen those for less than $500, and I think they'd be a better choice.


----------



## Talula Fairie (Jan 7, 2005)

It is true that there are ways a baby can get hurt in an adult bed, that's why there are safety precautions every parent is supposed to take. Keep bedding and pillows away from baby's face, if your bed is higher up get a bedrail or put the baby in the middle of the bed, ect. If one follows the precautions, co sleeping is statistically even safer than crib sleeping. Just wanted to clear that up.

That said, if you're not co sleeping, imo, you need a crib. It's really the only safe way to go. A bassinet will only work for a short time and by the time the baby outgrows that, they won't be big enough for a toddler bed. Many cribs are convertible, as the PP said.


----------



## dawncayden (Jan 24, 2006)

I think having a baby on a mattress only will only work if you are nearby. We transitioned ds into his own room at 18 months (ended up not working out after 3 nights) and he was on a double mattress. I can't imagine a baby younger then that on a bed all by themselves in their own room.

I wouldn't put baby in anything that they can fall over the sides. The ikea bed would be dangerous once baby is 6 months or so, since they can start to pull up and its not as high as crib rails.

Is it possible to put a single mattress next to your mattress in your room? That way your close by but baby still has their own safe sleeping space.


----------



## Mom2M (Sep 23, 2006)

For us, a crib was great for naps. We do cosleep (still) at night but nap time was always in the crib after she was about 6 months old or so.
We bought a crib that converts to toddler then headboard and now she is using it as a toddler bed.
The good thing about having the crib is that it was a safe place to put her in to fall asleep on her own after she stopped nursing to sleep. I do think the firmness of the mattress is good too.
I don't like the foam idea at all, it seems like something a baby would definitely get out.


----------



## 4Blessings (Feb 27, 2008)

Also consider that a crib can be used for multiple children (always check for recalls).

You can always find someone willing to part with their crib (and most any other baby item you could need/want). Check out Freecycle, Craigslist, etc. Then you only need to purchase the mattress.

We've used our crib with three children. It also converts to a toddler bed so we've gotten years of use out of it. Our baby cosleeps with us but we use the crib as a safe place for her to take a nap. When she gets older she'll use it as a toddler bed.


----------



## bremen (Feb 12, 2005)

a pack n play is another option. they are a lot cheaper than mst cribs, more portable, and have a lot of good features of both cribs and beds.
you can often find them on sale, or used. i would think about getting one of those instead of a crib.


----------



## Fyrestorm (Feb 14, 2006)

We started with an Amby and cosleeping...we have a waterbed and decided that even with one of those inserts that goes in the middle of the bed, we weren't comfortable with an infant in a waterbed...so we decided we needed a crib...

I felt the same way you did...what a waste of money! But, we found the Stokke bed..it's really expensive, but will last her a lifetime. You can start it out as a bassinet, then it converts to a high then low crib, then a toddler bed, then a youth bed then 2 chairs. It was well worth the price IMHO! DD is 5 and still using the bed, we should get another year out of it and then she we will convert it to the chairs.

http://www.stokke-nursery.com/en-us/


----------



## Graceoc (Mar 26, 2002)

We use a pack-n-play, we bought one that had the bassinet option and and attached changing pad. We ended up not useing the changing pad, but it is a nice option in the early months. We did use the bassinet option for the first 4 months and then took it out and just use the pack-n-play for her bed. I thought she would cosleep like my others, but as it was she prefered to sleep by herself so the pack in play is still her bed (at 18 months) So well work the expense for us, and still less then a crib.


----------



## stephanie95 (Jan 8, 2009)

I hardly used the crib with my DD for the first year because she wouldn't nap unless she was being carried and slept mostly with us. However, somedays that was the only way I could take a shower. I'd put her in and leave her for 5 - 10 minutes. Sometimes I just needed a break and that was a safe spot. And now, I would never get a moment of sleep if she didn't have one now. At night, she goes to sleep with us and then we put her in the crib. She is a climber and a houdini. The safest place for her to be is in her crib. Also, she won't nap unless she is in her crib. She's 28 months now. I converted her crib to a toddler bed but that was a disaster. She would not stay in it. I'd wake up in the morning and she'd be in the kitchen pantry clearing my shelves. I put the crib rail back on and she's more content. I also have a 13 year old DS and he loved his crib. It was his safe spot. We even slept in the same room and he always slept better in his crib than with me.

Playpens are good, but they are pretty low for trying to install a sleeping child. I had one that I used to keep the baby away from the dog, but I wouldn't use it as a primary sleeping point because of how low it is.

I could not use a mattress on the floor because neither of my children would ever stay put. Once they started to crawl they were on the go. My friend has been trying to use one with her DD but she ends up just sleeping with her because that's the only way she can keep her on the mattress long enough to fall asleep.

I know lots of people manage without a crib though. My children are active night owls. I think it just depends on your parenting style and your child's personality. If you do buy a crib, you can buy second hand, just look for the current safety standards. Also you can buy brand new for around $100. The crib I have was under $200 new which is good here in Canada.

Sorry this got so long. I hope it helps.


----------



## mamamolly1 (Oct 17, 2008)

How about getting an ikea crib? The gulliver is only about $100, is pretty cute, and converts to a toddler bed (or at least the side is removable so it functions as one)


----------



## Mom2M (Sep 23, 2006)

The ikea crib idea is great, the gulliver is even less expensive than some pack and plays. The Leksvik one is $200 but it makes a really nice looking bed.


----------



## MamaMonica (Sep 22, 2002)

Moved to Family Safety.


----------



## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HarperCait* 
We are having our first, and planning to have the little munchkin in our room during the early months (in his/her own bassinet/sleeping spot) but nap in his/her room during the day, and *later when sleeping through the night*.

If you don't want to co-sleep and aren't planning to have the baby sleep in their own room at night until he/she sleeps through the night, then you're going to want a crib that fits into your room and converts to a toddler bed.

I'd keep co-sleeping in mind as an option though, I would be sooooo tired if I had Lina in a separate bed and it would've been even worse in the early days. I'm sure you've looked into this, but a lot of people have serious misconceptions about bed-sharing, like not being able to have any pillows and never being able to use blankets.


----------



## OTMomma (Aug 12, 2003)

If you aren't going to co-sleep- I would get a crib. If baby will sleep and nap in a bassinet you have- you can always wait to buy the crib after baby is ready to out grow the bassinet- that is usually between 4-6 months with my babies. That spreads out the spending- you can also look to buy a used crib- its important to get one with the newest safety standards, but anything from the last 10 years should be good.


----------



## LittleBlessings (May 26, 2008)

what about getting co sleeper. I am thinking of the one that looks like a
pack-n-play


----------



## russsk (Aug 17, 2007)

We've had DS on a floor mattress starting at about 8 months. He naps there, and starts off the night before joining us in the family bed later on. We had a crib before that but almost never used it because he hated being lowered down into it. I could never figure that part out. With his bed, we nurse to sleep and I sneak away.


----------



## mizznicole (Feb 13, 2007)

We also had DS sleeping on a floor mattress from about 8 months. He moved to his own room at 13 months and I have zero worries about safety. With a newborn, I probably would stick with a bassinet.


----------



## Punchy Kaby (Mar 13, 2006)

A regular bed is not safe for a baby, too many places to get caught. I think many of the previous posters listed good reasons not to use a bed.

DS used his crib for 3 years, first as a crib, then a toddler bed. We could have kept him in there longer but decided to move him before we had the new baby. He slept there for all of his naps and at night. Considering that a baby sleeps more than half the day that is a long time spent in a crib! If you already know that co sleeping is not going to work for you then a crib is a must.


----------



## Momily (Feb 15, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Talula Fairie* 
It is true that there are ways a baby can get hurt in an adult bed, that's why there are safety precautions every parent is supposed to take. Keep bedding and pillows away from baby's face, if your bed is higher up get a bedrail or put the baby in the middle of the bed, ect. If one follows the precautions, co sleeping is statistically even safer than crib sleeping. Just wanted to clear that up.

That said, if you're not co sleeping, imo, you need a crib. It's really the only safe way to go. A bassinet will only work for a short time and by the time the baby outgrows that, they won't be big enough for a toddler bed. Many cribs are convertible, as the PP said.

I have to say that while I did all the things on the list, I think the biggest precaution I took was me with my arm around him and my body forming a barrier between him and the wall.

We have that IKEA bed, by the way, and if you pushed it against the wall, the drawers would keep it from going right up against the wall, there would be a huge gap/suffocation hazard. Also, frankly, it sucks as a bed. I really regret buying it, but I can say that it's cheaply made but costs a lot of money -- I'd much rather pay for a crib and a cheap bed frame for later, which would still leave money left over.


----------



## DevaMajka (Jul 4, 2005)

I agree with everyone else- if you're not co-sleeping, I think the best idea is to get a crib or pack-n-play. A baby sleeping alone on an adult bed would worry me too much.


----------



## waiting2bemommy (Dec 2, 2007)

I would not do the IKEA bed thing...doesn't sound safe.
If you don't want a crib, then use a mattress on the floor. I don't see the problem with that....my ds had his own toddler bed like this: http://www.kidsbedroom.biz/images/4/...p-out_sofa.jpg whih onverts to this: http://images.buzzillions.com/images...310353_175.jpg

It was right next to my bed and he slept in it the beginning of the night starting around 9 months. He could ahve slept in it earlier, though, i think. Just be aware that your child will be totally free (not saying this is a bad thing) and you will need to make sure that everything he/she an reach is totaly child safe. Think about things like pulling the changing table over or falling and hitting his head on the orner of the dresser....things that you normally wouldn't worry about.

To me, an unsupervised baby is alwasy a safety risk. That is why i would urge you to at least consider putting him in your room in his own sleeping spacef or the first year.

But, I don't see a problem with a mattress in the middle of the room on the floor.


----------



## skolbut (Feb 18, 2008)

The pack n play is great because if you go traveling or even on a visit somewhere the baby has it's own comfortable, familiar bed you can take with you!! We got the 60 dollar one which still comes with the bassinet. For both my kids we used it as a nap/changing station downstairs (main level) for the first 3-4 months and it was a lifesaver!

My suggestion would be to have a bassinet in your room and pack n play in baby's room along with a toddler bed and crib mattress or twin mattress on the floor. Likely, as soon as baby can walk, he/she will be ready for the toddler bed. They have cute cheap ones (we were actually given one). The pack n play can be used to sleep in until baby is 2ish, IMO.


----------



## traceface (Feb 17, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *skolbut* 
The pack n play is great because if you go traveling or even on a visit somewhere the baby has it's own comfortable, familiar bed you can take with you!!

The pack n play can be used to sleep in until baby is 2ish, IMO.

I vote for this, too. Then you have your bassinet for the early months and a bed till 2. If the bottom of the pack -n-play seems too plastic-y/not soft and comfy, you can get portable crib sheets & a thick quilted mattress pad that same size. It would make the spot more cozy and appealing, I think.

ETA: though the thick quilted mattress pad would be for a baby >9 or 10 mo old, if I remember correctly, for crib safety they recommend a bleak semi-hard surface


----------



## Treece (Apr 5, 2006)

I didn't see anyone mention this aspect. I don't know if the current pack-n-play style is as likely to, but the old play pens would melt when exposed to heat or fire, as in a housefire. Fires can start in any room of the home, what if the fire started in dc's room, and then the p n p melted onto dc? It would at best leave horrible scars, at worst.......

I just wanted to bring up that aspect.


----------



## jillmamma (Apr 11, 2005)

I would do the pack n play for the first year or so, then switch to a mattress on the floor or twin bed with a rail. DS hated the crib and rarely slept there his first year (with us a lot of the time). After he was a year we put him on the mattress on the floor and that worked well till he was 3 and we got a twin bed. DD did not mind the crib, so stayed in it till 2 when she was trying to climb out so we converted it to a toddler bed.


----------



## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

You could also get a Montessori floor bed: http://www.lordequip.com/shopping/pr...products_id=28


----------



## nevaehsmommy (Aug 6, 2007)

When I was preggos I NEVER even entertained the idea that the baby would sleep with me. That was a good way to kill your baby.

Then the baby was born. Even in the hospital he would not sleep in the cot. When we got home I dutiful put her in the bassinet every night. She would sleep about an hour. I would nurse her and we would repeat this all night. I was tired, cranky and my milk supply was dwinddling due to the stress and baby not eating a full meal due to snacking.

So one night I was nursing her and I heard "thump" then a scream I woke up with a start. I had dropped the baby while nursing ( i had fallen asleep). I was in the rocker and she fell about 2 foot. She was fine but I determined I had to find a way to get sleep and still nurse. So into bed she came. Now mind you this was only a short term fix (thats what i still say) But then my milk supply came back, I was sleeping 3 and 4 hour stretches, the baby started gaining weight and I was happier.

All that was to say dont rule anything out yet.

As for a crib, YES you need one or a desinated spot for baby. A matress on the floor would not be good. Babies roll around a lot even in the early days. Would you drop your baby even from 6 inches. Most moms would say no. That is the height of many matresses.

I would invest in a port a crib or arms reach co sleeper. Or jut bite the bullet and buy a crib. Many convert. Walmart ha cribs for under $300 that convert to toddler bed, day bed and full size bed. So you could get a whole life out of the crib, and if you spent $300 divded by a year it comes to less than a dollar a day. If you were to use it two or even three years it becomes one of the cheaper items you have to buy.

If cost is the issue we have social serivce org that help with cribs around here in hopes of declining the rate of SIDS.....

If you were worried about a fire, make ure the fire alarm is working in hi room or install one. THis is another reason my dd is STILL in my room. I would not be able to get to her room in case of fire. or really any natural disaster. We live were there are lots of tornados


----------



## MommyofHero (Sep 9, 2008)

just get a crib. seriously. you'll understand how handy/ safe/ perfect-sized it is after you start using it. and they aren't expensive if you find one used.


----------



## Ruthie's momma (May 2, 2008)

Nothing that hasn't already been said...

If you are not co-sleeping, than you should invest in a crib. Baby needs to be either in arms or in an enclosed bed. A convertible crib will provide you and your child (and any additional children) a lot of use (crib-toddler bed-small day bed-and sometimes a full bed).

To me, pack n' plays and co-sleepers are not as useful. Pn'Ps seem too uncomfortable for both mom and baby (too low to comfortably place baby into and lift baby out of and a substandard sleeping surface). Co-sleepers have a relatively short lifespan.


----------



## haleyelianasmom (Nov 5, 2005)

I hate to say this, but don't make too many plans. We planned on using a bassinet in our room for the first 4 months or so, then transitioning to a crib in her own room. She was never going to sleep with us because that seemed unsafe and just weird. Well, 3.5 years later, guess who is still in our bed??? We had the crib all set up. I maybe used it for 2 naps. Most often it was used for laundry. lol. I also thought that babies are supposed to sleep through the night by a few months of age and that both of us would be totally cool with the nightly separation. It didn't happen that way for us. Then I know others who planned on cosleeping and they said their baby demanded the crib and slept better alone. Just play it by ear.

How about this? Don't buy anything until after you figure out which category your babe fits into. We tried to futon mattress on the floor thing for a while, but mostly just for the period of time when she was asleep but before we came to bed. My daughter had a horrible time with teething, though, and woke a few times each night even as a toddler. It was just so much easier for me to let her nurse and fall back to sleep in a minute or two rather than have to either try to ignore her screams from the next room OR run in every time she whines (which would have been like every hours many times). I would have never slept.

Sorry if I went off on a tangent a bit, but I never thought that we'd buy a crib and never use it. However, to answer your question.... If I had to choose between a mattress in another room or a crib in another room for a baby, I'd go with a crib. Mobile babies just get up sometimes. You'd hate to have a wide awake 9 month old crawling silently through the house at 3 am without you knowing about it. At least the crib keeps them contained. And yes, when they learn mobility, they like to practice at random times. At least my daughter did.









Oh, and as nevaehsmommy mentioned, I, too, fell asleep while nursing in those early weeks. That's sort of when we made the switch to cosleeping. I knew that I might as well make our bed safe if I was going to randomly fall asleep while nursing.


----------



## Ironica (Sep 11, 2005)

also note that most bedrails say they're for 2 YEARS and up. There's a risk of entrapment between the mesh and the mattress. If you're in bed with your baby, that's one thing, but they're not something you can use for a baby unattended.


----------



## Smithie (Dec 4, 2003)

"We've had DS on a floor mattress starting at about 8 months."

Same here with dd1. She coslept until then, but screamed bloody murder whenever I tried to put her in the crib in her room. So I stripped down the whole room Montessori-style (floor mattress, secured low shelf with baby-safe toys and books, and THAT'S IT for furniture in the room - bureau needs to go in the childproofed closet or in another room, no chair, no lamp, no wastebasket, etc. etc.) and let her sleep on the crib mattress on the floor. It worked very well. People who are more hardcore than me often secure a child-safe mirror low down on the wall so that baby can see herself when she pushes up. And obviously, you'll need to clean your carpet









I was quite comfortable with the arrangement. It does require that you be able to hear baby without a monitor being set up, since cords and plugs are a no-no for obvious reasons unless you can rig a shelf and a higher-than-standard outlet. In fact, if I were doing it again I might try to get myself a high shelf with a plug, because that provides for the possibility of a CD player, nightlight etc.


----------



## mlec (May 29, 2005)

We took our bed off its legs and have a crib mattress on the floor next to it. That way it is not difficult to get the babe from the bed to nurse in the night.

Actually, as a new babe she was always w/ us, and now we have a toddler bed next to our bed-off-its-legs so they are the same height. She can crawl in and out of the toddler bed to our bed. But that wouldn't be good for a smaller babe unless you did something about the gap in b/w the beds.


----------



## gretelmom (Jun 22, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bremen* 
a pack n play is another option. they are a lot cheaper than mst cribs, more portable, and have a lot of good features of both cribs and beds.
you can often find them on sale, or used. i would think about getting one of those instead of a crib.

Brilliant idea. This is what my sister did. So easy to re-sell to if you take good care of it. People who already have cribs usually still have pack n plays, which is part of what makes it so easy to resell.

We got our crib from someone who just wanted to be rid of it. They gave it to us for free. It's a good, solid crib. Definitely worth it as a baby could get hurt even rolling off a small mattress on the floor, and even newborns can roll off. My son was rolling himself over while still in the hospital when he would cry. My pediatrician said "I should video tape this because no parent believes a newborn can roll over". I probably wouldn't have believed it had I not seen it with my own eyes. And I'm not talking about a long time of crying, maybe a few seconds of that angry cry they get when they have gas pain or something.


----------



## HadhratKhadija (Feb 4, 2009)

this is what my friends did:

baby had her own room and never really used the crib. they made sure the room was completely safe and mostly empty, and let her sleep on the carpeted floor and just roll around all she needed to. they used to close the door but would find that since she was a sweaty baby she would crawl up to the door crack to get the cool air coming through and that possed a problem when they wanted to open the door in the morning.
so they then start leaving the door open and instead put a gate at the door frame.
the baby was just most comfortable being able to roll around on the floor - and there was no risk of falling off the mattress or anything.

when she got a little older, they put the gate at the stairs instead, and when she would wake up from her room she would walk to her parents room and wake them up.


----------



## HadhratKhadija (Feb 4, 2009)

recommmendations to buy used cribs or pack n plays is not a good idea because many of them do not meet safety standards the new ones do, or may have been damaged.

i was also thinking of getting a bassinet but found out that they do not abide by any particular safety guidelines, and dont last very long either.


----------

