# 9yo constantly grabbing at crotch



## MomBirthmomStepmom (May 14, 2005)

Didn't know whether to post this here, or Preteens, or where, so let me know if I'm putting it in the wrong place!

My 9yo dss has recently started (within in the last 2 weeks), constantly grabbing at his crotch. All the time, in front of whoever etc.

We had several thoughts as to what it could be (normal itching, maybe hair growing in, we've seen other signs of puberty, or even something more serious, like burning or problems like that.) SO brought it up to dss when I first brought it up to him (I'm the step-mom, so SO fields these things...lol), and dss told him he wasn't doing that at all.

Fast forward a couple days, I keep noticing it (it's SOOOO noticable, like his hand is stuck to his shorts), and mention it again. He starts acting pissed off and tells SO nothings wrong etc, and that he's NOT doing that.

SO explained to him, it's okay if it itches, or he has to 'adjust' etc, but to try to do it privately, and not be grabbing at his crotch in front of everyone all the time, but dss insists he's not doing this, and it continues...

Were we wrong to bring it up? Should we just leave it alone, and not ask him about it, or point out that he's doing it?


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## SunRayeMomi (Aug 27, 2005)

I have no advice for you unfortunatly because DP has the same exact problem and I CANNOT GET HIM TO STOP! so maybe if anyone else has advice, it will help me too (so I'll keep watching this post







)


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## Pandora114 (Apr 21, 2005)

Is he intact? If so it could be a little more of the natural separation process which could be kinda itchy *from what I heard, first hand, from my DH*


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## frowningfrog (Aug 25, 2005)

I do not think were wrong in talking to him about it, cause if he is doing it in school the teachers and all will get all freaked out as they always do and you wanna save him some embarrasment.
I do not have boys and I dont really know what to say , I do however have a 9 yr old daughter, and I have seen her while sitting, sit on her foot with the foot in her private area and move slightly round as if she is pleasuring. I havent yet said something to her because I know she is doing it ever so discretely I do not want to alarm her.
Perhaps he is doing the same except not so discretely. Maybe if his dad speaks to him privatly about it he will open up and you will be able to come down to the real problem if there should be one. He may be embarrased to talk about it in front of a girl.
I dunno, Just trying to help somehow. Good luck


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## MomBirthmomStepmom (May 14, 2005)

Yes, he is intact, SO is not, so we honestly don't know much about what it would be like. We'll look into that.

Also, when SO talks to him about it, I'm not around. We know it would be embarrassing to talk about it with a 'girl' around, so SO talks to him privately before bed, while I'm getting DD ready for bedtime... (we try to do this for alot of things, so each kid has their comfort level is ANYthing is up, on their minds etc)

To be honest, and I didn't wanna say this in the original post, because I was a bit afraid of how it would be taken, but, well, it annoys me, and I kinda find it a little gross. He's not a big hand-washer, or a big washer at all really, which I know is normal, but well, if you've been grabbing at your crotch all day, you might wanna wash your hands more...lol

Also, like a pp mentioned, I was worried about someone at school noticing, and him being embarrassed about it, or a teacher bringing it up... I'd rather these talks come from us, the people who love and raise him, then some bully in the schoolyard, or some uptight teacher who barely knows him from Adam, ya know?


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## Pandora114 (Apr 21, 2005)

Well it's probably him becomming fully retractile and it "irritating" him.

You know, if you have a constant itch on your nose or something you just scratch it without a second thought. That's probably what he's doing.

I suggest going over to the Case against Circumcision board to get a bit more info from the posters over there. Frankly Speaking, and Feebeeglee and the rest of the people over there have TONS of info you could probably use.


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## MomBirthmomStepmom (May 14, 2005)

Thanks! I just posted in Case Against Circumcision


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

i dont have a subscription to mothering magazine but i get their newsletter. so if u have access to it please look it up. there was an interesting article plus questions and answers including 'grabbing crotch' situations for 'intact' boys. there was tonnes of info out there.

plus i read soemwhere where they said the genitalia becomes extra sensitive from age 4 to (dont remember upper limit) so it could be that natural process happening. dont rule out puberty. do u notice any body odor changes? that could be making it sensitive too.


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## Mummer (May 23, 2005)

I am so glad I read this thread... I am in the same boat with my 9 year old DS. When I see him grab himself when we're talking, I'll ask him "is everything ok down there?" and he'll of course say "YA!". I figured that this is just part of him being a 9 year old boy.

But meemee, you just said something that caught my attention... he DOES now have awful smelling sweat, and that is new. He plays football and after practice and games, I can hardly stand the smell of him.

Does this mean that he's hitting puberty already?! He's only 9... he's my baby! I must admit, I'm not well versed on when boys reach puberty, but I never imagined that it would be this soon.


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

mummer i dont know too much myself. but my friend is questioning puberty too based on body ordour with her 7 year old - yes seven year old dd.

i hear more and more talk of children hitting puberty early nowadays. but along with odour changes my friend found that her dd was getting v. moody too. high tantrums. crushes on boys. a whole bunch of issues she wasnt ready for.


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## boomingranny (Dec 11, 2003)

what about jock itch? that itches like crazy.


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## MomBirthmomStepmom (May 14, 2005)

We've been noticing signs of puberty for months now, and have not ruled it out (as a matter of fact, in the original post, I even mentioned how we thought it could be pubic hair growing in as well)...

I was deep in puberty at 9 years old, and SO not until a young teen, so I was the first to point out the puberty thing, and SO seems slightly in denial...lol

Right now, I think we're gonna try focusing on proper washing of the penis, and just the whole area, and try to point out regular hand-washing throughout the day. Otherwise, there doesn't seem to be much we can do, just make sure he knows to keep clean.

Thanks everyone for the replies!


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## MomBirthmomStepmom (May 14, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *boomingranny*
what about jock itch? that itches like crazy.

I do want to point out, this doesn't seem to be itching, nor is he like digging in when he grabs...lol (this sounds so embarrassing!)

It's more like he's just groaping the top area, which is what has me believing now that it's a cleaning issue...


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## FrizZ (Sep 9, 2005)

My daughter did this for a while when she was 9. I gave her a book written for preteens about nasturbation(don't remember the title, but it was very tasteful), and had a reminder talk with her about how it is called a private area because when you touch it it should be in private like the bathroom or your bedroom. We also talked about How some folks are very uncomfortable about genitalia and get terribly embarassed when they think of private parts, and messing with bits in public may embarrass someone. We then talked about any wusetions she had about the book, and I asked her if she wanted me to remind her when she absent-mindedly had her hands in her pants, and she said yes. We thought up a word to use an a non-embarassing code, and she is 11 and much better now.

We as parents must remember that hands-in-pants syndrome is not only a thing males experience, but also females, and it easily becomes a habit. Habits that our kids rarely realize they have because they don't notice themselves doing it. This is likely the reason your DS denies doing it. He dosen't remember that he did. *smile*
-K


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