# lack of info and support for natural m/c (vent)



## mommyfied (Jun 25, 2007)

This is kind of a vent. I found out a week ago at 13 weeks that there is no baby. I only have an empty gestational sac that was measuring 10 weeks. I am waiting to naturally m/c because that's what I prefer to do. I don't like medical intervention and as long as there is no problem that would require medical intervention, I want to allow my body to do what it was designed to do. I see the m/c a lot like giving birth, even though I have no baby to give birth to.







So my vent is this. #1 After searching for a week, information for a natural m/c is very lacking. Most people give in and have the D&C. Many doctors are scared to wait too long. However, the women who stuck it out until the end often m/c just fine. #2 When I tell people what I am doing, I am greeted with the attitude of "go ahead and get the D&C - really it's fine" and "don't beat yourself up if you have to get a D&C", etc. I feel like I'm telling people I'm going to have a natural childbirth and everyone says don't worry if you end up getting the epidural or a c-section. I don't want medical intervention. If it turns out I run into a problem that requires it, I'm okay with that. The fact is I understand that most people want a D&C, and I understand why. I'm not going to tell those people to have a natural m/c.

Anyway, I don't mind being in the 5% of people who don't choose the epidural at my hospital, but it's times like these I wish there were more people who understood why I think the way I do.


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## labortrials (Aug 7, 2007)

I'm sorry you're having to wait on an inevitable m/c. I hope your body does its job very soon.

I called one of my friends who's had 2 m/cs the night I suspected that I was having a m/c, and she said to go to the hospital. But what was a hospital (out of the country) gonna do for me?

I called my FP's office (after hours) and the on call doc got back to me quickly. He didn't suggest that I needed to go to a hospital, just told me what to look out for - mainly fever. I think he said to go to a doc when I got back into the country, but I called the OB group and since things sounded like they were going "well" and I was already on the books (for my first prenatal appt, sigh), they didn't need to see me.

So, actually, my Drs trusted that my body was taking care of it. You're in a different situation since your m/c wasn't spontaneous like mine. However, unless you suspect a problem (not always diagnosed through u/s) that would indicate D&C, sure see if your body will do it on its own.

It may be a gross generalization to say that women who elect to have interventions will also "advise" their friends to have a D&C just in case. I agree that there's not a lot of helpful info out there on m/c much less encouragement to allow nature to be nature.

Hooey!

So sorry for your loss. May your body heal quickly.


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## mommyfied (Jun 25, 2007)

Thanks for replying. I'm sorry for your loss as well.









Luckily my OB gave me the option to wait and the nurse seemed to indicate it was the first choice. I was pleasantly surprised. I don't know if she'll start pressuring me to get a D&C as time goes on. For now I don't have another appt scheduled. My last instruction was to call last Fri. to update them before the weekend. It's a busy office so I waited for 30 min to talk to my nurse and then ended up talking to a nurse I don't like and I got no further instruction about when to check in again, so I'll just wait. I started temping again because I heard it drops before the m/c, so if I did get an infection, hopefully I'd see evidence of it there, not to mention if the spotting changes. So far, so good.

ETA: I just realized I read your story the other day in the stickied thread. Thanks for sharing it. You have a great blog, too.


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## chel (Jul 24, 2004)

Amanda let's be buddies? I hope things go smoothly for us both!

I'm waiting on a 8w sac, but I don't know what week I was at when I found out yesterday.
I too am waiting for it to happen naturally. So far not a lot of pressure from my OB, though a loopy nurse called today to tell me my hcg looked good and I need to get on progesterone







: (I'm at 5) Not much fun to tell her she hadn't read my chart and nothing can help me now







I'm afraid that since my hcg is still fairly high, though not normal (5,000) things might take a while.

I wonder if the pressure will start once my second hcg comes in tomorrow. I have an appt on Friday. I have a major camping trip coming up soon and I don't think anything can be done to have this all passed by then.

I did feel some rolling contractions this evening, but only slight mucous. I'm trying to really concentrate on moving things along.


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## ColoradoMama (Nov 22, 2001)

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this - all around. Don't people get it? Dealing with a m/c is hard enough. Can't people just say - I'm sorry - and move on. Good luck - I hope you have no problems.


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## mommyfied (Jun 25, 2007)

chel, I'd love to be buddies. I'm sorry for your loss.







I think the contractions and discharge are a good sign, so I hope this gets going so you can prepare for and enjoy your vacation without having to worry.

I'm feeling a little crampy now, but it's nothing significant. I've been spotting for a week now but it's so light that I only see it on the toilet paper. I haven't had any hcg levels done yet, but I haven't felt pregnant for a few weeks so I assume they are dropping a lot. My nurse called me this evening to check on my progress and they still aren't pressuring me to do anything, so that's nice. I asked how long the OB is willing to wait, and she acted like there is no rush, but she'll tell me more tomorrow after she talks to the OB. She did mention they might want to do another u/s to see how things look. I told her I'm willing to wait as long as it takes.









COMama - Thanks.


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## labortrials (Aug 7, 2007)

Thanks Amanda. And do keep us posted. This stuff ain't for sissies.

Oh, and another point on my first response was unclear. The part where I talk about generalizations? Yes, they may be unfair, but unfortunately they're usually true.

And I've certainly had the OPPOSITE bite me in the rear too. Sometimes people who really really distrust doctors can be just as rude about this stuff like when you start asking about u/s... or when you mention that you're on medication to treat something specific.

Sigh. Can't we just be sensitive. I'm still on the verge of tears and usually cry when someone asks me about the m/c.







: I'm such a baby.


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## labortrials (Aug 7, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chel* 
I'm waiting on a 8w sac, but I don't know what week I was at when I found out yesterday.
I too am waiting for it to happen naturally.

Big squeeze to you too. I just realized that you found out YESTERDAY.







:


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

I m/c an empty sack at nearly 21 weeks. I was so glad I wasn't being followed by an OB and therefore pressured into it earlier.

I'd be happy to answer any questions you have.

-Angela


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## FiberLover (Feb 6, 2007)

I'll support you!

I found out at 10w that my baby stopped growing at around 7.

I too was given the option of D&C, medicine, or natural.

Every surgery carries risk, and I wanted to know that my body could take care of itself, so I chose natural.

Of course, it was hard, painful, and I essentially went through the emotional process of finding out the baby was gone first, then waiting a week and a half and going through it all again with the physical process.

But, our bodies are amazing, and I'm SO SO SO glad I let it happen naturally.

Even though I see an all woman CNM practice, they were hesitant to let it go on for a long time as well, I was told to call after a week, so I called, and they said I could wait another week. Luckily I didn't need to.

Hugs for everyone here.

And we should support each other. Our bodies, our choice.


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## sarahtar (Mar 19, 2004)

I'm waiting for a natural mc, too. Just found out on Monday. And my caregiver is a midwife who is not pressuring either way, has made it clear that a D&C is an option if we want it, otherwise, keep in touch and please call if I get scared or worried. I appreciate that.

Everyone ELSE is all "get the D&C, then it'll be over with" and "why do this to yourself?"

I really see it a lot like childbirth. I want to do this nature's way. I want to experience it, to live it. Even if it hurts. I see the D&C as...I go to sleep, and I wake up and it's over. There's nothing to experience. That seems so much harder to deal with. SO much.

it's frustrating. Actually, out of everything I've been able to find online about miscarriage, nothing has been as helpful as the "what to expect" thread above. Every other resource really just glosses over what happens, and that's not helpful.


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## labortrials (Aug 7, 2007)

Hugs Sarah!

I'm doing a lot better today. I haven't bled for 2 days (since starting on augmentin for suspected uterine infection).

I m/c'ed naturally and am so thankful that I passed the baby naturally. I can now say I've birthed a baby vaginally.


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## chel (Jul 24, 2004)

I got got back from my appt today to go over the lab work. My 48hr hcg went from 5,000-2,000. I still have no spotting and last night I dreamed I was raped, and woke up feeling like my cervix had been pounded with a sledge hammer. Cramping kept me up most of the night and I was sweating like crazy. Going through all that, all I could think was that the end is in sight. Now with no spotting I don't know how long I can wait.

I now have both cytotec and percocet at hand. I have a lot going on today, including a poker party tonight with Dh new boss. Just my luck that party is at a good friend of Dh's and his wife is pg, just alittle bit ahead of where I thought I would be







: , so not looking forward to knowing that as soon as I get home I have a night of cramping hell to look forward to.

Overall OB was very nice, different person than I saw for my 1st appt. Even though she's not on call this weekend, she gave me her pager # to call if my bleeding gets out of control and I need a d&c.

She wants to do an u/s next week to make sure everything has passed. I don't know if I can handle that. I'm thinking of skipping it and just doing a home pg test every couple of weeks, and if not (-) after 2 months getting an u/s then.


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## mommyfied (Jun 25, 2007)

to all.









sarahtar - I feel the same way you do.

chel - I hope the process is quick and easy for you. Keep us updated!

I'm still spotting sooo lightly (9th day), but I feel some pressure in my abdomen like I've been doing sit ups. That seems strange, so I don't know if it is my uterus or something else! I've been taking my basal temp for the past 7 days and it has been 98.4-98.5, which is my average post-O temp. I'm hoping I'll see a drop to signal that the m/c is about to happen.


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## chel (Jul 24, 2004)

Well, I just swallowed the pills. dd is at a slumber party and Dh is still at poker.
I'll keep you guys posted.


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## chel (Jul 24, 2004)

wow, I'm so loopy from the percocet







: , I'm off to bed (and I only took half the dose, I'm just a light weight







) So far no cramping.


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## afishwithabike (Jun 8, 2005)

Sending hugs to all of you and hoping your bodies do what they need to do naturally. Speaking from the aspect of somebody who has had a D&C because i didn't know better. DON'T GIVE IN TO THE D&C. It's a nightmare and scars your uterus making it easier to m/c again. I love you ALL.


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## soccermominsd (Feb 8, 2006)

Hi Ladies...
I'm right here with you. I'm 6w6d along and the baby stopped growing about 2 1/2-3 weeks ago. I do not want a d&c either. I have chosen to enlist the help of Vitamin C and Dong Quai. I'm only spotting not really bleeding for a week. I hope our bodies will let these little beings go soon.

I am so sorry for all our losses. Very grateful to have this board.


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## stormborn (Dec 8, 2001)

I'm so sorry for your loss, Amanda. For all of our losses.









For what it's worth, I let myself be pressured into a d&c with my mc 7 years ago and still regret it. Still have nightmares about it. If there was more info out there I might have known better.


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## afishwithabike (Jun 8, 2005)

Try chiropractic to help aid things along. That and massage. There are pressure points in the back of your ankle along your achilles tendon that are connected to your uterus. It might help.


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## labortrials (Aug 7, 2007)

chel - how are you feeling??????

I'm day 26 post m/c. Really really hoping that AF will come soon. Uterus is still a bit tender, so maybe AF won't come until the uterine infection thing is done (I'm on an antib).

Phew, I'll say a little prayer for all of our grieving mamas today. We're baptising my niece today . . . we're her Godparents.


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## eastmillcreekmama (May 22, 2007)

Hi all you mamma's, I'm feeling for all of you. Later today, I'm going to try to help my dear friend move through her m/c, she is waiting like many of you. I am a massage/reiki/acupressure therapist, and I am going to use these tools to try to help her pass her baby.

Here are a few natural options to try:

Clary Sage essential oil is a strong uterine stimulant, you can dilute a few drops (like 6) in 1 oz of vegetable oil and massage on your feet/ankles. Even sniffing the oil could assist in encouraging contractions/passing your baby.

You can also try using one or more of the following acupoints:
GB 21, on the slope between your neck and shoulder (look for a tender spot about half way between)
SP 6, four of your own finger widths above your ankle bone on the inside of your leg.
LI 4, in the webbing between your thumb and second finger (also known as the headache point)
CV6, one finger width below your belly button on your midline.

With these points, you can hold one at a time, or in combination. Even better if you can have someone else hold them, so that you can concentrate on your breath and your body, and on letting go and releasing what needs to be released.

There's certainly not anything wrong with waiting, and I'm sure that everyone's body is capable and able to accomplish what is needed, but thought I would offer these alternatives in case you are feeling impatient like my friend, who wants it over, but doesn't want to resort to medical interventions.

Love and hugs to all of you,


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## simcon (Jul 31, 2002)

Like you all, I very much wanted to m/c naturally, without medical intervention, and I hope you have the small consolation of being able to do so.

I encountered a related problem with my m/c, though, which is that because d & c is so the norm, there's not a lot of info about how to m/c naturally safely, and what are things to look for where you'd need to seek medical attention.

It's good to keep track of your bleeding. The rule of thumb is if you are bleeding through more than a pad/hour, you should seek medical care. If you're like me, and lose most of the blood on trips to the bathroom, it's good to use a bowl instead of the toilet, so you can keep track of the amount. And it's also a good idea to have someone there with you while you're bleeding, just in case. It wasn't at all easy for me to discern myself how much blood was too much--I expected blood and pain (and was not even in pain).

My care providers (mw and ob) very much supported me miscarrying on my own, and delayed a d & c for as long as possible (basically until my hemoglobin got to 7 and they checked on an ultrasound and there was still tissue to be passed and I was still bleeding)

Complications like mine are pretty unusual, so this isn't to scare anyone--I would again choose to try to miscarry naturally in the same situation. But neither did I think that having my friend over for tea while I m/c'd would save my life (and it did.)








for your losses.


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## mommyfied (Jun 25, 2007)

It's been a few days since I've updated, but I'm still here waiting! I am still having super light spotting and every other day or so, I feel cramping in my cervix like it's dilating. That's about it! My OB's nurse finally called back today (I think it was a week ago when I last spoke with her) and I am really encouraged by my OB's attitude! I had just switched to her for this pregnancy, so I was a little worried about how natural birth friendly she'd be. Hopefully this is a good indication. I have not gotten any pressure at all to get a D&C. She wants to start monitoring my hcg levels now, so I go in Thursday to do the first one. I am 14w6d today and I found out about my blighted ovum exactly 2 weeks ago.


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## soccermominsd (Feb 8, 2006)

*AMANDA* I'm right here with you. Very light spotting and not much else. Still waiting. I ovulated a couple of days ago, so I'm hoping that my body will clean itself out during my next flow. I'm glad your ob is not pressuring you, that's awesome. Keeping you in my prayers.


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## Cutie Patootie (Feb 29, 2004)

Here with you too.







I have been m/c'ing for 10 days now. It has been 8 weeks and 1 day since my last period. I'm exhausted and tired of it all. I didn't have an ultrasound, so I don't know when baby stopped growing. My HCG levels were 85 at 5 weeks and 130 at 6 weeks. 10 days ago, I got the darkest line on HPT. So I really have no idea what I should be miscarrying or the what intensity to expect. I feel like I am waiting for the big boom, but all I have is extreme exhaustion, back ache, and not really any cramping to speak of. I feel raw physically and emotionally.

This is my 6th m/c, and I have had 2 or 3 d&c/d&e, the others I did on my own when I realized I could.







My first baby was conceived 2 weeks after my last m/c before this one, 4 years ago. I had switched ob's around 7mos preg. with my first ds. I had many complications and was on bed rest for 5+ months because of funneling, diagnosed with an incompetent cervix etc. When I was pregnant with my dd 2 years later, I went back to my ob, concerned about complications that I might have with dd as well. She told me she didn't think I had ever had an "incompetent cervix, that most likely the complications I had with ds came because of the previous d&c's and a previous surgery for a septate uterus that was done through my cervix. Everytime you go through the cervix unnaturally, you weaken it.







Thanks for telling me that little tidbit before hand, ey.









I remember with the first m/c I did naturally, I was 8 weeks along. I passed the baby at night in a hotel room in disneyworld.







: It was equal to labor and delivery.







Dh and I went to a nearby emergency room afterward because we were worried. I didn't know anything back then.







We were literally yelled at by the attending md. Yelled at. LOUDLY. He insisted on knowing the names of the doctors, nurses, and the practice that told me I could m/c naturally. He said it was against the law and I could have died. He ranted and raved for 15 minutes, hounding us for names. Good grief. Some support for letting your body do it's job.







I totally understand your vent.
















Sending you peace and healing.


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## mommyfied (Jun 25, 2007)

How are you doing, soccermom?

Cutie P, I can't believe your story about the ER... I can, but that is just crazy!







:

I'm still waiting. 15w1d - no spotting today, really. I have had days here and there without spotting and then it comes back. It's never been much any day though. Anyway, I'd been temping for the past 2 weeks and 2 days ago my temp dropped! I don't know if that means anything since I haven't started bleeding yet, but we'll see. I'm frustrated because I was unable to temp this morning since I've been working a lot and didn't really sleep. So, I don't know if the temp drop was a fluke. I will say that my temps were steady 98.4-98.5 and then I had a lone 98.1, which is my average pre-O temp. I had to edit this to say that I think I've been feeling cramping, but I never have severe cramps plus I have a high tolerance for nagging things like that so I kind of block it out. Something is definitely going on though. I'm hoping my uterus is just shrinking back down and everything is reabsorbing.

I had my blood drawn today so I will find out the results tomorrow (Friday). I'll post back with the number because I won't know what it means.


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## chel (Jul 24, 2004)

I just got my #s today. Sometimes it takes a while to get the results.

I'm at 730. My OB wanted me below 1000 so I'm on schedule.


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## mommyfied (Jun 25, 2007)

I just got a call from my OB's nurse and my levels are at 448! I had no idea what that meant other than she said it was "low" so I looked it up and I guess that's like 4 weeks pregnant.







:

My spotting gone for the 2nd day, but I was able to take my temp this morning and confirmed a definite shift. I'm down at low, pre-O/AF temps.


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## chel (Jul 24, 2004)

wow Amanda, that sounds great. Seems like your body is just absorbing everything. The lower the # the sooner you can get to 0!


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## soccermominsd (Feb 8, 2006)

Hi ladies...
I'm still hanging in there.

Not sure what is going on. It seems I've all but halted my spotting & then it comes back again-but very lightly and not red at all. I will probably wait a bit to go back and get my levels checked. I was thinking of getting a hpt at dollar tree just to see what was up. I'm hoping it all just absorbed into my body and isn't hanging out.

I'm glad your levels are coming down amanda & chel. do you plan on ttc again? how long are you going to wait if you do?

I'll probably wait one or two cycles to make sure all is okay before we try again.


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## jenangelcat (Apr 17, 2004)

Deleted by user.


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## mommyfied (Jun 25, 2007)

soccermom - I think I'd try a HPT too. I think I'll buy some later so I can check after I feel like things are done.

jenangel -







I have been reading stories like yours and have been expecting to have a labor-type experience. As time goes on, I wonder how it will end.

I will TTC again, but I'm not sure when... I was initially planning to wait 1-2 cycles as well to make sure things are clear. My SIL had a bad experience by not waiting a cycle (getting pg directly after D&C) and she lost her baby at 16-17 wks due to a uterine infection. He was perfectly healthy and would have been fine had her water not broken prematurely.







Anyway, I don't know what we will do. My DD is just turning one and I would have been having them 17.5 mo apart had I not lost this baby. Now they will be closer to 2 years apart. I think we would want to do something within the next 6 mo to 1 year so they won't be too far apart, but we'll see what God has in store for us. Also, I'm still breastfeeding quite a bit and those first few weeks before I lost the baby were pretty hard. I was so hungry I had to eat all of the time just to keep up. It would be nice to be closer to weaning before I get pregnant again. And who knows, AF may decide to stay away for a while since I am still breastfeeding.


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## soccermominsd (Feb 8, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jenangelcat* 
I had a natural miscarriage at 14 weeks, 7 week fetus. I often wonder if the d&c would have been easier. It took a month to complete the miscarriage right through Christmas and New Years. It was extremely painful, on par with childbirth. I did end up having to go in towards the end because the bleeding became excessive.

I hope it goes easier for you.

Thanks JenAngel-
My 1st m/c was just like that. Painful, with labor and exhausting. I was 6w and a few days and the baby had just died a few days earlier. I couldn't believe how traumatic it was. I'm sorry you went through a similar experience.

This time the baby stopped developing at 3 weeks gestation [approximately] and by the time I went in for a U/S the sac was degenerating. Completely different experience.

I think I've stopped spotting all together now. So I just wait for AF to come back-hopefully soon.


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## Mamato2 (Oct 28, 2004)

Just wondering how some of you are doing and what ended up happening? I had a mc last year naturally at home and it was the worst physical experience I have ever gone through. Two completely natural vaginal births were nothing to that. So I found out last week I have a blighted ovum (sac is around 5 wk size) and now I am waiting. I am sooo tempted to just go in and get the d&c and be done with it. I show no signs of miscarrying and I don't want to go through that awful experience again and be alone with my kids waiting for dh to get home. Soooo I guess I'm looking for more confirmation that waiting isn't so bad and maybe this time won't be so rough. Or that d&c's will result in adhesions and other complications and I should avoid it as much as possible. I view a d&c like a c-section, sometimes medically necessary but not always, but I just want to be done.


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## mommyfied (Jun 25, 2007)

Here's my update... 17w2d...

Recapping... I stopped spotting over 2 weeks ago (just had brown discharge for 2 wks). The day after I stopped spotting I had a blood test. My levels were 448.

I just had another blood test and got the results back today: 131!









So, my whole experience has been pretty much noneventful. Everything seems to be reabsorbing.

They want me to come back in 2 wks for another blood test. I told her I didn't really want to and would rather just do a pregnancy test. She argued and said that the OB would want to do a blood test until my levels are zero. Then pushed me to schedule an appointment right then so... whatever... I did. If I test on a good HPT (those that detect 15-20 levels) and get a BFN I'm going to cancel.







: Why would a blood test be necessary then? I'm having a bad day, so it upset me. I'm paying full $ on all these tests anyway due to a high deductible, and I don't want to take tests that aren't necessary. Anyway, I guess rather than being Crazy Patient, I'll call back in 2 wks and ask her to explain why a blood test would be necessary if my levels are low enough to register a BFN. But, I won't be able to get through to anyone (office is just too busy) so I'll probably just have to cancel the appointment. Oh well, we'll cross that bridge when it comes...


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## zoie2013 (Mar 31, 2007)

I am so sorry that you are going through this. I've been lurking on the boards this week, trying to cope. But felt the need to emerge, hoping to help.

I am in the midst of bleeding after my stillbirth at home on Monday. My mw understands that we don't do hospitals, so when I had a fever on Weds night, I called her. I visualized a clean, healthy, pink uterus overnight. My fever broke early in the morning, so I didn't have to make the choice about going in. She has used this for moms to get mc going after a baby has passed on. My mw said she's even had moms clear group b strep with this protocol. So, here was her advice on getting my uterus clear:

boost immunity: take lots of vit c, echinacea, goldenseal
drink lots of preg plus tea (and possibly take dr christophers)
4/day drink 1Tblspn apple cider vinegar in a glass of water
eat only protein (preferably when possible beef) and vegetables
completely avoid processed, refined or white foods, fruit, sugar, and grains (except quinoa and millet)

After my fever broke, my bleeding started again and I'm feeling healthy once more-at least physically. I hope this helps. I am now going back to lurking and trying to pretend any of this matters at all







:


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## mommyfied (Jun 25, 2007)

Thanks for sharing that, zoie. I'm sorry for your loss.







I feel like it helps to talk about it, so don't be afraid to come out of lurkdom again. We'll listen and support you here.







:

I don't know if I mentioned this yet, but I'm still breastfeeding my DD quite a bit. She just turned one and still nurses several times a day. I'm not sure what role breastfeeding has played in this process, but I think it must have had some influence on it. I wonder if it will keep me from getting AF for a while longer... ???


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## Brisen (Apr 5, 2004)

to all.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ColoradoMama* 
I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this - all around. Don't people get it? Dealing with a m/c is hard enough. Can't people just say - I'm sorry - and move on.









:


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## chel (Jul 24, 2004)

Amanda,
So glad to hear all is going well. I'll start a separate post for a rant on medical bills as mine are just coming due







:


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