# climbing the slide at public playgrounds...



## sisteeesmama (Oct 24, 2008)

So.
I was reading the thread about correcting other people's kids and it reminded me that I have been wondering what you other mama's think/do/say about your kid climbing the slide and other mama's at the park who don't let their kids climb the slide.
I was at the park yesterday with DD and she likes it when I help her climb back up the slide. To me this is not a big deal, I'm not trying to teach her how to play at the playground, y'know?
Well, there was another mom at the park and she had several kids and was very strict about how they played on the equipment. I understand that she hada lot more on her plate than me so maybe it was just a matter of keeping track of everyone and making sure they stay safe, she was also pregnant so she didn't seem to feel like getting up and interacting which I also get.

But I felt a little wierd about letting dd climb the slide when the other mom was so vocal with her kids about not doing.

This happens pretty much everytime I'm at the park with someone.


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## camracrazy (May 27, 2006)

I don't let my kids climb the slide if other people are there that are using the slide. I hate it when my kids are trying to slide down the slide and there are kids climbing up it that won't get off! But if we are alone or there are no kids playing on the slide, it doesn't bother me. It annoys me a lot more when kids pile dirt or rocks on the bottom of the slide.


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## BellinghamCrunchie (Sep 7, 2005)

In our playground experiences, most children want to climb up the slide and most parents let them. I hear most parents teaching their children to look out for other children who are ready to come down the slide, so the priority is given to those coming down over those going up, and those going up are expected to get out of the way. Those are the usual rules we experience and they seem to work fine.

I'd be very surprised if you were the first mom this other family has encountered that lets their child climb up the slide. I think she's probably used to, and comfortable with, different families having different rules, and wants to maintain her own rules for whatever reason.


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## sisteeesmama (Oct 24, 2008)

Well, I should have clarified, I guess I assumed it was obvious, but I guess it's not! I definately don't help her climb the slide when other children are trying to use it, or even really when other children are playing on that equipment, but if no one wants to go down and she has just gone down and wants to climb up I help. I don't monopolize the slide, but I am there with my dd and my goal is to help her have a good time although not at the expense of others time.


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## chfriend (Aug 29, 2002)

If someone is trying to slide down, we give them the right of way. Some parents get louder and louder telling their kids their rule hoping peer pressure will make me act the way they do. I "just say no" to peer pressure.









Other people's rules, at the park and elsewhere, don't affect how we live. My kids know that they only need to listen to me and follow our agreed upon safety plan.

Our rule is that if it's a safety thing, we do what the other person asks, then discuss it. It goes both ways (parent to child and child to parent) in our family.


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## glorio (Mar 8, 2009)

If there are not other children around ds knows he can climb up the slide, but we generally do not do this when other children are around, especially younger children. I've told him that the littler children will often try to do what he's doing and it may not be safe for them. I do ask him to do this for their safety, but also because a lot of the time the Mother's do not want their littles climbing up the slide as well.

I know I don't *have* to do that, but I figure there are many ways for ds to play at the park and if he wants to climb up the slide he knows there is a time/place for it. I think it's respectful of others to ask ds to use the equipment as it's intended (down not up slides) when others are near.

Edited to add: this is just what we do, and if I saw another child climbing up the slide nearby I wouldn't be miffed!


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## Pirate Nicole (Oct 20, 2008)

I let the kids climb up the slide as much as they want to here at home. When we do go to a public park and there are other people there, I don't really let them. That way, there's just much less of a risk of someone getting kicked in the face. Kids don't seem to mind different rules for different places. The two of playground/park age are 6 and 3.

Nicole


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sisteeesmama* 
But I felt a little wierd about letting dd climb the slide when the other mom was so vocal with her kids about not doing.

I don't worry about it. I've had to deal with tons of things from the other side, too (like the parents who let their children chase ducks and chickens at the farm, while I'm explaining to my kids that it's not fair to the birds).

I find the "no climbing up the slide" thing to be a really arbitrary rule, and I can't parent by not letting my kids do things, just because other people's kids aren't allowed to do them. My kids know they can't climb up a slide if someone is at the top waiting to come down (rude), but we don't have a general "no climbing up the slide" rule, and I won't pretend we do, just because someone else does.


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## momtokea (Oct 27, 2005)

I let my kids climb up the slide when there is noone else at the park, but when there are others around I don't usually let them. It's really just a safety issue. My kids are getting bigger but still love playing at the park and I'm very strict with them about watching out for the little ones around them. If the other kids playing are as big as they are I'm not so particular, but I expect them to be considerate of the little ones.
If they want to climb there is other climbing equipment.

If this lady has several small children it's probably just easier and safer for everyone if she enforces this rule.


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## funkymamajoy (May 25, 2008)

I don't allow it. Its basic park manners. It doesn't matter if there are other people at the park or not, I'm consistent with the rules. Of course, I have three kids so there is always someone else at the park.


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## Alyantavid (Sep 10, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *camracrazy* 
I don't let my kids climb the slide if other people are there that are using the slide. I hate it when my kids are trying to slide down the slide and there are kids climbing up it that won't get off! But if we are alone or there are no kids playing on the slide, it doesn't bother me. It annoys me a lot more when kids pile dirt or rocks on the bottom of the slide.

That. I don't care if my kids climb the slide, but I do teach them (and remind them) to watch out for kids coming down and to stay out of their way. No one's ever said anything to me about it.


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## runes (Aug 5, 2004)

Priority goes to the little one going down, but if no-one else is on the slide at the time, we encourage DD to climb up as well as slide down.

As a pediatric physical therapist, I can tell you that climbing up the slide is one of the best activities at the playground for leg strengthening. It also takes a ton of balance, coordination and motor control to manage climbing up a slide. If anyone gives you grief about climbing up slides, tell them your PT friend told you it's one of the best things to do at the playground to facilitate gross motor development.


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## Kappa (Oct 15, 2007)

We took the little one to the indoor play park at the mall, and I was SHOCKED at how careful the kids were in knowing their limits, even though they seemed to be doing something outlandish. I watched pretty tiny children climb up the slide, see my (14 mo old) baby trying to climb the slide, and DRAG him up behind them! I was "spotting" the whole time of course, but really kids can handle this sort of thing. I promise they are part monkey, part feline. Anyway, I will continue to spot my child, but I am not going to try to prevent him from climbing at the playground. Better at the playground than the chest of drawers at home.







With multiple kids and not being able to spot them all, I'm not sure what I would do.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *funkymamajoy* 
I don't allow it. Its basic park manners.

This is interesting. I'd never heard that rule described that way before. Almost every kid I've ever seen climbs the slide. Until I started posting here, I'd only ever seen one parent object to it (and she didn't seem to care that other kids did it). I had no idea this was considered a basic manners issue at the park.


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## Bluegoat (Nov 30, 2008)

I think slides are really for climbing as much as sliding - who decided that a slide has to be for a particular activity.

That being said, if it's busy at the park, I tell Morag that climbing isn't a good idea, and we always take turns no matter what we are doing.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *runes* 
Priority goes to the little one going down, but if no-one else is on the slide at the time, we encourage DD to climb up as well as slide down.

As a pediatric physical therapist, I can tell you that climbing up the slide is one of the best activities at the playground for leg strengthening. It also takes a ton of balance, coordination and motor control to manage climbing up a slide. If anyone gives you grief about climbing up slides, tell them your PT friend told you it's one of the best things to do at the playground to facilitate gross motor development.


















Actually, I'm not surprised. I've been quite awed by how well my kids have mastered climbing the slides...it always looks really hard to me!


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## Whistler (Jan 30, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Alyantavid* 
I don't care if my kids climb the slide, but I do teach them (and remind them) to watch out for kids coming down and to stay out of their way. No one's ever said anything to me about it.

Same here. I understand Mamas who don't let their kids at all, but if there is no one there but us, the kids find it really fun! It's not a consistency problem because they understand sharing the slide when other kids are there.


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

My kids climb the slides all the time. The "rule" we have is that if someone is trying to get down the slide, they have to give the right of way. The are not allowed to get in the way of someone going down, because that's the primary function. (And it's a safety thing -- someone going down is going a lot faster.)

I actually think that climbing the slide (as opposed to stairs) is good exercise for most kids!

At dd's preschool, they had a play structure with 3 slides. Eventually, they designated one slide as the "up" slide and the other 2 as "down" slides. That kept everyone happy and safe.


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## momtokea (Oct 27, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
This is interesting. I'd never heard that rule described that way before. Almost every kid I've ever seen climbs the slide. Until I started posting here, I'd only ever seen one parent object to it (and she didn't seem to care that other kids did it). I had no idea this was considered a basic manners issue at the park.

This has been a rule at every school playground I have taught at.

As has been mentioned by others, the safety issue is to avoid crashing, not that the children aren't capable of climbing it.


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## funkymamajoy (May 25, 2008)

There aren't a lot of manners for the park but the ones I grew up with were:
1. don't throw sand
2. take turns
and
3. up the stairs, down the slide

All my friends' moms enforced these rules. I had no idea that its unusual.

Just like manners for the dinner table need to be taught, so do manners for the park.


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## birdie22 (Apr 1, 2005)

I ask 4 yo ds not to climb the slide if others are on the playground. If we're alone, he can do what he wants. I have seen plenty of parents with an absolute "no climbing" policy, and others who feel their child has as much right to climb up as others to slide down. Everybody has different boundaries.

We have other rules like this... no playing with sticks when other children are around (too much risk of "sword" injury), no throwing sand when other children are in the sandbox, a reasonable time limit on playground equipment if someone else is waiting for a turn, etc. At 4, he knows that some rules are solely for the consideration of others' feelings and safety.


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## Evan&Anna's_Mom (Jun 12, 2003)

As a general statement, I think its fine to say "different people have different rules" and let it go at that. However, when we are at the playground with others around I will sometimes ask my children to follow the other parent's rules as a matter of courtesy, especially if that other parent has smaller children (mine are 6 and 9 now, so frequently much bigger than others around), seems very stressed by things, and if what my kids want to do will impact her kids. So, if some other mother is carrying on about the way my DD is swinging upside down on the bars, but it has no impact on her kids and they couldn't follow her lead, I don't worry about it and will tell DD that she is OK. If the other mother is still carrying on or comments to DD, I will politely explain that what she is doing is safe for her and to please not correct her. But if DS wants to climb the slide and the other children could follow him and/or might want to come down (and its impossible to see the top of the twisty slides we mostly have here), I ask him not to. I explain that I don't mind and he can do it once they have moved on, but for the moment it would be considerate to refrain. I'm trying to teach my children to think about how their actions impact others, even if what they are doing is within our rules. But, as I said, my children are older now and so we are moving on to more complex "think before acting" sorts of lessons.


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## camracrazy (May 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kappa* 
We took the little one to the indoor play park at the mall, and I was SHOCKED at how careful the kids were in knowing their limits, even though they seemed to be doing something outlandish. I watched pretty tiny children climb up the slide, see my (14 mo old) baby trying to climb the slide, and DRAG him up behind them! I was "spotting" the whole time of course, but really kids can handle this sort of thing. I promise they are part monkey, part feline. Anyway, I will continue to spot my child, but I am not going to try to prevent him from climbing at the playground. Better at the playground than the chest of drawers at home.







With multiple kids and not being able to spot them all, I'm not sure what I would do.

LOL I almost forgot about this until I read your post:

This weekend we were at the grandparent's house and they have a swingset with a bumpy slide. 18 mo DD was trying to climb the slide, but couldn't make it past the bump. 4 yo slid down the slide and was laying at the bottom (on the slide), so 18 mo climbed over her and was trying to use 4 yo's head to give her a boost over the bump. She was so determined to do it one way or the other!!


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## Whistler (Jan 30, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *funkymamajoy* 
There aren't a lot of manners for the park but the ones I grew up with were:
1. don't throw sand
2. take turns
and
3. up the stairs, down the slide

All my friends' moms enforced these rules. I had no idea that its unusual.

Just like manners for the dinner table need to be taught, so do manners for the park.

I agree that basic manners need to be taught but I'd tend to think that manners at the park are somewhat fluid based on what the manners of everyone else who happens to be there also. Manners at the park have relaxed a little since we grew up.

Here kids go up the slide all the time and parents help referee if someone is headed down so there isn't a crash. If it's really busy parents usually tell their kids to just go down, but since we all pretty much have the same manners, no one is hurt or offended. I see a lot of the same moms at the park... it's a small town!

We have a lot more trouble with the sand toys than with the slide. To some kids they are communal, to some they belong to whoever brought them. But that's the topic of a different thread!


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *momtokea* 
This has been a rule at every school playground I have taught at.

As has been mentioned by others, the safety issue is to avoid crashing, not that the children aren't capable of climbing it.

I have no idea if that was a rule at my son's school playground or not. However, I wasn't talking about schools. The number or arbitrary rules at schools, on the playgrounds or not, don't incline me to use them as an example. Besides, I've watched kids playing at school playgrounds, and there's usually an "edge" there (more frantic) that I don't often see at public playgrounds....probably because the kids at public playground aren't trying to burn off a whole morning of sitting at a desk in 15 minutes. School dynamics are very different from non-school dynamics.

ETA: Eclipse also makes a good point - the adult/child ratio at a school playground is much, much lower than the ratio at a public playground, so detailed supervision of things like "are there any kids trying to come down" is much harder.

Although I was asking about park manners, not about safey, I don't see how anyone can crash if a child doesn't climb the slide when someone is going down.


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## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *momtokea* 
This has been a rule at every school playground I have taught at.

As has been mentioned by others, the safety issue is to avoid crashing, not that the children aren't capable of climbing it.


I can totally understand why it's a rule at school playgrounds, where the adult to child ratio is very low. I have seen some schools have designated "up" slides, though, and I think that's a brilliant solution.

Anyhow, I let my kids climb up as long as they aren't interfering with anyone else coming down.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Whistler* 
We have a lot more trouble with the sand toys than with the slide. To some kids they are communal, to some they belong to whoever brought them. But that's the topic of a different thread!

We don't have very many playgrounds with a sandbox (maybe because our climate is so rainy?), and I'm kind of glad. Sand boxes are neat, but they seem to cause _so_ much trouble...throwing sand, arguments over sand toys, etc.


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## Whistler (Jan 30, 2009)

I just thought of something else. When we were children, the slides were metal and very fast. If someone was climbing up while someone else went down, they would definitely get hurt. The "down only" rule made much more sense.

Now the slides are about half as long and are plastic. You can't slide very fast on them. crashes happen all the time and no one gets hurt. At the indoor parks they are even smaller. Kids go up, someone slides down and everyone lands in a heap, laughing. It's a completely different experience than the two-story metal slide I played on as a kid.


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## BoringTales (Aug 1, 2006)

If there are no other kids playing or using the slide I don't care if my kids climb up it, if there are, I think its really rude. Its essentially taking over that piece of equipment and cutting in 'line'.

Also, I don't feel weird letting my kids do something some other random mom doesn't allow. When its the opposite, and my kids pull the whole, "But JIMMY gets to do it!" I just say, "Well, I don't make the rules for Jimmy, but I do make the rules for you!"


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## sewchris2642 (Feb 28, 2009)

Climbing up the slide is just rude. It's the same as cutting in front of the line at the bank. The child climbing up the slide is cutting in front of the children who are waiting at the ladder for their turn at the slide.


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## funkymamajoy (May 25, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Whistler* 
Here kids go up the slide all the time and parents help referee if someone is headed down so there isn't a crash.

Since all the kids knew the rule, the parents didn't have to referee.

We have a slide at home and they can climb up that one if they really feel a need to do so.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sewchris2642* 
Climbing up the slide is just rude. It's the same as cutting in front of the line at the bank. The child climbing up the slide is cutting in front of the children who are waiting at the ladder for their turn at the slide.

It's not rude if there _aren't_ any kids waiting for the ladder.


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## Whistler (Jan 30, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
It's not rude if there _aren't_ any kids waiting for the ladder.

That's what I was thinking. You can't cut in line at the bank if you're the only one in line.

When someone comes along who wants to go down, the climber gets off, lets the slider go, then begins climbing again. It's usually not busy enough to have constant sliders.


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## babymommy2 (May 14, 2009)

we have a no climbing the slide rule and this is why: when my children were little toddlers they would see big kids climb, and they were definatly old enough and big enough to climb the slide independantly and not fall, but mine aren't so we had to have the no climb the slide rule. Also big kids, when alone at the park, definatly DO NOT always look out for little kids when climbing the slide, when running around the park plying their tag game, jumping off of the playground equipment. Now one of mine is big enough to climb and not fall, but I still have the same rule, because I do think it is important for kids to learn to model for younger kids, espcially in a public playground. We absolutly have rules in the playground, as I think it is very improtant for them to understand that they are not the only ones using the space so no throwing sand, wait your turn, and no climbing the slide, and watch out for little kids.

The issue we have now, is we will see much older kids climb up onto the roof of the playground structure, which are not meant at all for climbing on, and of course my oldest wants to figure out how to do this.


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## sewchris2642 (Feb 28, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
I have no idea if that was a rule at my son's school playground or not. However, I wasn't talking about schools. The number or arbitrary rules at schools, on the playgrounds or not, don't incline me to use them as an example. Besides, I've watched kids playing at school playgrounds, and there's usually an "edge" there (more frantic) that I don't often see at public playgrounds....probably because the kids at public playground aren't trying to burn off a whole morning of sitting at a desk in 15 minutes. School dynamics are very different from non-school dynamics.

Although I was asking about park manners, not about safey, I don't see how anyone can crash if a child doesn't climb the slide when someone is going down.

Playground and school rules mirror the way society works. They are the child's equivalent of adult manners and rules of behavior. It starts at the playground.


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## sewchris2642 (Feb 28, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
It's not rude if there _aren't_ any kids waiting for the ladder.

1. I've never been to the park when there wasn't kids waiting to go down the slide. And even if there weren't any other kids there, I always brought enough to form our own line at the slide.

2. There are plenty of other equipment, climbing walls for example, for the kids to climb on.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sewchris2642* 
Playground and school rules mirror the way society works. They are the child's equivalent of adult manners and rules of behavior. It starts at the playground.

If you see it that way, that's your prerogative. I think school is a sick little microcosm of its own, and has little or no bearing on real life. And, children absorbing the rules of behaviour they pick up in school is hardly a good thing. YMMV, and that's okay. Personally, I'll never use what schools do or don't allow as any kind of guide to what's acceptable behaviour elsewhere.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sewchris2642* 
1. I've never been to the park when there wasn't kids waiting to go down the slide. And even if there weren't any other kids there, I always brought enough to form our own line at the slide.

Then, this discussion doesn't really apply in your case. I think everyone here has made it clear that climbing on the slide is only allowed if nobody is using it to go down. (As for bringing my own kids...they'd be just as likely to get in line to climb up as the other way around, so it's not really an issue if it's just them.)

Quote:

2. There are plenty of other equipment, climbing walls for example, for the kids to climb on.
That's not the same as climbing the slide, though. I don't actually even get that argument. It sounds like "oh, well - you couldn't get on the soccer team, but there's always baseball". Wanting to climb the slide is wanting to climb the _slide_, not the climbing wall or the net or whatever. Neither of my little ones like the climbing wall at all, but they both love climbing the slide.


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## Kappa (Oct 15, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Whistler* 
I just thought of something else. When we were children, the slides were *metal and very fast*. If someone was climbing up while someone else went down, they would definitely get hurt. The "down only" rule made much more sense.

Now the slides are about half as long and are plastic. You can't slide very fast on them. crashes happen all the time and no one gets hurt. At the indoor parks they are even smaller. Kids go up, someone slides down and everyone lands in a heap, laughing. It's a completely different experience than the two-story metal slide I played on as a kid.

I agree, our slide at the playground was soooo high, and there were several metal pieces spliced together that kids slid down. It had 2 loopy spirals going down. It was stand-alone, and there was a box at the top where kids could wait their turn to go down. These days, the equipment is so low to the ground, plastic, and often the slides are 3-4 kids wide, with sand or some type of indoor outdoor foam underneath, so at least IME kids could go up and down at the same time.


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

Hi, I agree with the other parents who say let 'em climb and just teach the basic courtesy that when someone's coming down, they get out of the way.

I have kind of a related question, which I think is in the spirit of this thread. What does everyone think about other creative uses of playground equipment?

I.e., my older daughter, now 9, has always been a little daredevil. She learned to do the money bars at 3 1/2, so by about age 5 she was finding it more interesting to climb on top of them and creep across the top. And also, since about age 4, she has loved climbing up and down the tops of enclosed slides.

I have the policy that as long as my daughters are not endangering themselves or inconveniencing or endangering anyone else, anything goes. But some parents seem alarmed when their children try to do the things my oldest is doing.

For example, we were playing at a playground the other day (not a school playground) and my 9yo, and another girl about the same age who had come alone, were clambering all over the tops of the enclosed slides. As I've said, my oldest has been doing this since around age 4, but my younger dd is 4 now and is not quite so coordinated. She saw dd doing it and acted like she wanted to do it, too.

I didn't forbid her, but pointed out what a big drop it would be if she fell, and said she is littler than her sister. And she quickly abandoned it and went on to something else. If she'd persisted in wanting to, I would have stood there to spot check and keep her safe, no big deal.

There were another mother and child there -- he was about 7, and he kept trying to do what my dd and the other girl were doing, and getting upset with his mom because she wouldn't let him. She just kept saying, "They are bigger than you" -- and I kind of wondered what she would've said if it had been a few years ago, since as I've said, my 9yo's been doing this for about 5 years now.

But, anyhow, I assume that she probably is used to insisting on her kids following her rules, and isn't that affected by what other families are doing. It seems like a tremendous amount of work to me -- but I realize other parents may think I was/am creating more work for myself by being willing to spot-check my younger child until she got more coordinated, had she persisted in wanting to do what her big sis was doing.

I see it as more work at the moment, but it pays off as they get more skilled and can do more safely on their own.


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## nikkiethridge (May 6, 2008)

I don't see the big deal as long as the child climbing up gives other kids a chance to slide down. It's a PLAYGROUND, I think as long as the children are being respectful to eachother, It's not my job to really instruct on how to play.

DS is only 15 months but man oh man he loves climbing up the slide. I usually take him to more 'toddler friendly' playground and other tods are doing the exact same thing anyway.


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## GuildJenn (Jan 10, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mammal_mama* 
Hi, I agree with the other parents who say let 'em climb and just teach the basic courtesy that when someone's coming down, they get out of the way.

I have kind of a related question, which I think is in the spirit of this thread. What does everyone think about other creative uses of playground equipment?

I'm with you.

I think the "stairs are for climbing, slides are for going down" rule is really arbitrary and silly. I think basic courtesy is not really directional. If you're in someone's way, get out of the way. I think we could also agree that people going down on the slide have the right-of-way by virtue of speed and skill.

But really - you can sit on the stairs, go down them, or even bump/slide down them - jump off them, play trucks on them, etc. As long as you are not blocking other kids, who cares?

Swings - swing with your bum in them, dangle from the waist, push them up as you run under - whatever. As long as you are not pushing them into other people, go for it.

Same thing with the slide. It is a moulded piece of plastic on an angle. That's all. It's not sacrosanct down-only.

I don't have any objection to kids sitting on the roof of the playhouse. Some of my best conversations were held that way in grade 6.

Sure safety is an issue and in a school environment there will have to be rules because as people have said, there are ratios of supervision and a whole bunch of kids on the playground all at the same time.

But a normal neighbourhood park? Play is play.


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## Snuzzmom (Feb 6, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *runes* 
Priority goes to the little one going down, but if no-one else is on the slide at the time, we encourage DD to climb up as well as slide down.

As a pediatric physical therapist, I can tell you that climbing up the slide is one of the best activities at the playground for leg strengthening. It also takes a ton of balance, coordination and motor control to manage climbing up a slide. If anyone gives you grief about climbing up slides, tell them your PT friend told you it's one of the best things to do at the playground to facilitate gross motor development.









Interesting!

Yeah, we let DS climb the slide if no one else is playing on it. We have taught him that children who want to use the slide to go down have priority, and he won't even try to climb it if there are other children around.

I have definitely corrected other children who were trying to climb up as DS was trying to slide down, even if their parents are right there. That's a safety issue for both children, and if the other parent isn't going to say something, I sure will. I'd rather have the parent annoyed at me than have my child collide with hers.


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## JessBB (Apr 10, 2007)

Climbing the slide? Ok, so long as the "uppers" take turns with the "downers." The only playground behavior that makes me







is when big kids play in the cordoned-off little kid area.

And OT, one of the very, very few things other parents do that makes me crazy is to allow their child to ride inside the grocery cart, rather than in the seat, or even worse, to let them hang off the side! If you are doing this, mamas and daddies, I beseech you to please stop







!


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sewchris2642* 
Playground and school rules mirror the way society works. They are the child's equivalent of adult manners and rules of behavior. It starts at the playground.

But I actually think we're moving into becoming a more caring society, as we get less wrapped-up in all the little "particulars" or do's and dont's, which I think is happening because of our society's increasing diversity. There is no longer one "right" way to live your life, or to show consideration of others.

I.e., it used to be seen as "rude" for new parents to stand up to their own parents, if their parents disregarded their parenting ideals, i.e. trying to slip a new baby ice cream or something. The rules are a changin', and becoming more fluid, which I see as an improvement.

The Golden Rule says to do unto others as you would have them do unto you. If I was wanting to slide down a slide, it wouldn't bug me if others wanted to climb up, so long as they moved to let me slide. But I guess it WOULD bug me if I wanted to climb, too, but my mom wouldn't let me, LOL.

But in this case, it would be MY MOM who wasn't "doing unto me" the way I wanted to be "done to," LOL -- it would really have nothing to do with the other family.

But back to what I said about increasing diversity, and no one set of rules: I see great possibilities for us to raise children who are truly *thoughtful* in their dealings with others. Which IMO is much better than an attitude of "What did I do wrong? I didn't break any RULES, so it's not my fault she's upset because 'finders keepers losers weepers,'" or some such nonsense.


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## aran (Feb 9, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JessBB* 
And OT, one of the very, very few things other parents do that makes me crazy is to allow their child to ride inside the grocery cart, rather than in the seat, or even worse, to let them hang off the side! If you are doing this, mamas and daddies, I beseech you to please stop







!

Why?


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## kathrineg (Jan 28, 2009)

It personally drives me nuts for four reasons:

1) Kids don't always notice the other kids who are trying to go down the slide, they don't always care, they have poor impulse control or poor decision-making skills (totally typical for their ages)

2) It generally increases the need for parents/caregivers to stand right by the slide monitoring traffic flow which is annoying when you're trying to let your kid just play instead of standing right there monitoring the slide

3) Many slides don't allow for good visual access from the bottom to the top

4) Some kids will be intimidated by kids climbing up the slides and then they won't even try to use them


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Snuzzmom* 
I have definitely corrected other children who were trying to climb up as DS was trying to slide down, even if their parents are right there. That's a safety issue for both children, and if the other parent isn't going to say something, I sure will. I'd rather have the parent annoyed at me than have my child collide with hers.

I'd correct another child in that situation, but I haven't had it happen yet. The "don't climb up if other kids are coming down" thing seems pretty widely taught around here.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JessBB* 
Climbing the slide? Ok, so long as the "uppers" take turns with the "downers." The only playground behavior that makes me







is when big kids play in the cordoned-off little kid area.

I've seen references to this before, but I don't think I've ever actually seen it. Are separate areas for little kids common?

Quote:

And OT, one of the very, very few things other parents do that makes me crazy is to allow their child to ride inside the grocery cart, rather than in the seat, or even worse, to let them hang off the side! If you are doing this, mamas and daddies, I beseech you to please stop







!
Why? It works for us.


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## kathrineg (Jan 28, 2009)

I think rules are a great way of ensuring that childrens' behavior is respectful of others. They need rules because they are not born with the experience or empathy to make their own decisions about certain social situations.

It is also of great benefit to a child to be able to be "polite". Even though it's arbitrary, others will judge children on their ability to conform and I think it's important to equip them with those skills (as long as they are not in conflict with a family's or individuals core values).


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## chfriend (Aug 29, 2002)

Honestly, I don't see a way around being driven nuts at the park by other families' ways of doing things.

I'm driven nuts by parents who put their toddlers in baby swings and walk off or stand around talking on their cells while their kid dangles in the sun. I'm driven nuts by parents who aren't paying any attention, then hear something that alarms them, suddenly taking notice and jumping in with lots of assumptions about who did what to whom. I'm driven nuts by parents who keep yelling their kids' names and startling the hoo-diddly out of me and my kids.

I just try to keep it from driving my kids nuts. I'm likely a lost cause at this point.


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## LaLaLaLa (Oct 29, 2007)

We've always allowed climbing the slides. As most other posters have said, we make sure our kids wouldn't be blocking or endangering anyone else. We're often the only ones at the park when we go--comes from having children who don't nap and who need a change of scenery mid-afternoon! My kids are also very responsive to others, and take the comment "look out for other kids, especially younger ones" very seriously.

There are lots of limits I set for issues of safety or courtesy. I don't think climbing up the slide is another battle I need to fight, another stance I need to defend, when I've never seen it cause an issue.


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## waiflywaif (Oct 17, 2005)

Quote:

And OT, one of the very, very few things other parents do that makes me crazy is to allow their child to ride inside the grocery cart, rather than in the seat, or even worse, to let them hang off the side! If you are doing this, mamas and daddies, I beseech you to please stop.
I'd also like to know why. It seems that this could not possibly affect you in any way. Even less than the slide thing.


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## chfriend (Aug 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JessBB* 
The only playground behavior that makes me







is when big kids play in the cordoned-off little kid area.


One thing to keep in mind on this....my kids are extra tall and coordinated. We don't have these at playgrounds, but we do at museums and indoor play areas. I had parents stare at me and my kids, and even say things to my kids to try to make them feel bad about playing there when they were perfectly within the age limits.

It was actually the beginning of my telling my kids not to listen to the other grownups.







:


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## JessBB (Apr 10, 2007)

Why do the grocery cart (mis)behaviors (







, YMMV) drive me bonkers? Because (1) It's dangerous, esp. the hanging, and (2) I really, really don't want my ds to think that it's ok and he should be allowed to do so. I fully admit that this is just my "thing."

As for the little kids, big kids divide, yes, lots of parks have designated play areas for this for the under-5 set.


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## rainbowmoon (Oct 17, 2003)

Every playground I have ever gone to there have been kids climbing the slide. I just make sure there is no one coming down if my own kids do it. If there was another parent there like was mentioned in the OP and had a problem with it I would likely just ignore them and go about our business. If they want to make rules for their own kids it's perfectly fine with me.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JessBB* 
(1) It's dangerous, esp. the hanging,

I've never found it dangerous, and can't see any way in which sitting in the basket is any less safe than sitting in the seat, so I don't worry about that.

Quote:

and (2) I really, really don't want my ds to think that it's ok and he should be allowed to do so.
This is related to the OP. My kids aren't allowed to do things that other kids are allowed to do and vice versa. I can't imagine wanting another parent to not allow her child to do something, just because I don't allow my children to do it. We all have different rules, and my kids know that, and I'm sure your ds knows it, too.

Quote:

As for the little kids, big kids divide, yes, lots of parks have designated play areas for this for the under-5 set.
Interesting. I can think of two playgrounds that have two separate areas with play-structures. (In one of them, the structures are _very_ close together, but not so much in the other one.) In both cases, one of the structures is such that I expect it's intended for little kids, but there aren't any signs or anything suggesting that, and certainly no age limit or anything posted. I have noticed that older kids rarely play on those structures, though - too boring for them, I think.


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## GuildJenn (Jan 10, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kathrineg* 
It personally drives me nuts for four reasons:

1) Kids don't always notice the other kids who are trying to go down the slide, they don't always care, they have poor impulse control or poor decision-making skills (totally typical for their ages)

2) It generally increases the need for parents/caregivers to stand right by the slide monitoring traffic flow which is annoying when you're trying to let your kid just play instead of standing right there monitoring the slide

3) Many slides don't allow for good visual access from the bottom to the top

4) Some kids will be intimidated by kids climbing up the slides and then they won't even try to use them

See here's my thing... this is true for everything you can do at the playground, pretty much. Kids can intimidate other kids if they're in the doorway of the playhouse. Kids going up and down the climbing wall or back and forth from the hanging bars can get in each other's way and even step on each other. If there are little kids around that can't figure out not to run in front of the swings, a parent needs to be around to be traffic cop.

Fact is, the playground is where kids learn to make these judgment calls, or at least one of the places.

The slide rule just strikes me as so arbitrary in the midst of a playground full of fun things. It's become a little pet peeve of mine that it's assumed that pretty much the _most_ passive way to use it (gravity) is the only way.


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## JessBB (Apr 10, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rainbowmoon* 
Every playground I have ever gone to there have been kids climbing the slide. I just make sure there is no one coming down if my own kids do it. If there was another parent there like was mentioned in the OP and had a problem with it I would likely just ignore them and go about our business. If they want to make rules for their own kids it's perfectly fine with me.

I mostly agree with this, however if another mom or dad or nanny or whatever asked me nicely to keep ds from climbing, esp if said caregiver seemed to really have their hands full, I probably would. One day of not climbing the slide isn't going to kill ds.


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## Kappa (Oct 15, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 

I've seen references to this before, but I don't think I've ever actually seen it. Are separate areas for little kids common?


I haven't seen it a lot, but they definitely have a separate section in Chuck E. Cheese.


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## soccermama (Jul 2, 2008)

I'm not strict about how to play on the playground equipment, per se, I just remind DS of the proper way to do things on the playground and climbing back up the slide is not one of them. For one thing, it's dangerous for him and secondly, it's holding up the time that the other kids want to slide down the slide.

There are a ton of other things to climb on at our neighborhood playground!


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## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JessBB* 
As for the little kids, big kids divide, yes, lots of parks have designated play areas for this for the under-5 set.

Our playgrounds tend to have two play structures - one with smaller slides, etc and one with larger. I think they are intended for big kids vs small kids, but I've always let my kids play where ever, as long as they are being respectful of other people. I will remind my oldest to tone down the running and jumping when there are much smaller kids on the equipment, because rushing past could knock down a new walker. My almost 6 year old DD is usually on the smaller kid equipment, despite being as tall as some 8 year olds I know, because she's rather physically timid and is over the moon playing with/talking to/teaching toddlers. I love that she's able to do that, because it's a huge strength of hers.


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## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kappa* 
I haven't seen it a lot, but they definitely have a separate section in Chuck E. Cheese.

The chuck e. we've been to definitely has an area geared toward smaller kids, but I've never seen that it's reserved for them.


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## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JessBB* 
Why do the grocery cart (mis)behaviors (







, YMMV) drive me bonkers? Because (1) It's dangerous, esp. the hanging, and (2) I really, really don't want my ds to think that it's ok and he should be allowed to do so. I fully admit that this is just my "thing."


I can see why hanging off a cart has the potential to be dangerous (though I do let my kids ride at the end of the cart), but what about sitting in the basket as opposed to the seat? How is that dangerous? (honest, not snarky question - I'm wondering if I'm missing something here!) When I worked at a grocery store, were were only expected to ask parent to have their kids sit down in the cart (whether in the seat or in the basket portion).

And never find yourself in the grocery store with my husband and kids. He lets them ride UNDER the basket, on that shelf meant for big bags of dog food and cases of soda and beer. That's a daddy only shopping activity, as it freaks me out too much







)


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## aran (Feb 9, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JessBB* 
Why do the grocery cart (mis)behaviors (







, YMMV) drive me bonkers? Because (1) It's dangerous, esp. the hanging, and (2) I really, really don't want my ds to think that it's ok and he should be allowed to do so. I fully admit that this is just my "thing."

Oh dear. You'd hate to run across us then, with DS1 often riding on the hood or roof of the vehicle-type carts!


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## JessBB (Apr 10, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eclipse* 
Our playgrounds tend to have two play structures - one with smaller slides, etc and one with larger. I think they are intended for big kids vs small kids, but I've always let my kids play where ever, as long as they are being respectful of other people. I will remind my oldest to tone down the running and jumping when there are much smaller kids on the equipment, because rushing past could knock down a new walker. My almost 6 year old DD is usually on the smaller kid equipment, despite being as tall as some 8 year olds I know, because she's rather physically timid and is over the moon playing with/talking to/teaching toddlers. I love that she's able to do that, because it's a huge strength of hers.


Yeah, thinking about it I am not really so doctrinaire; it is more *how* the big kids are playing, how many there are, etc. Geez, it sure is hards to make blanket statements about what is and is not ok!


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## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JessBB* 
Yeah, thinking about it I am not really so doctrinaire; it is more *how* the big kids are playing, how many there are, etc. Geez, it sure is hards to make blanket statements about what is and is not ok!










I do know what you mean - I've been at parks where older/bigger kids swarm in with no regard for the smaller ones (who were often there first) and push past people, dominate the equipment, etc. These are usually kids who show up sans parents, so I feel justified in telling them to knock it off (as nicely as possible).


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## glorio (Mar 8, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eclipse* 
but what about sitting in the basket as opposed to the seat? How is that dangerous?

I think it has more potential for tipping- the child could stand up quickly, etc.

I do let ds ride in the basket still if he's very tired, but I don't let him ride standing on the back of the cart. That drives me bonkers- not seeing other kids do it- but ds repeatedly trying to do it. I can't tell you how many times he's almost fallen this way. He's accident prone, so this isn't something I want to let him do!


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eclipse* 
And never find yourself in the grocery store with my husband and kids. He lets them ride UNDER the basket, on that shelf meant for big bags of dog food and cases of soda and beer. That's a daddy only shopping activity, as it freaks me out too much







)

I used to let ds1 do that all the time. But, he developed the habit of sticking his hands out, despite being told not to...and eventually, he put his finger _under_ the shelf, and I didn't see him, and his finger got run over. He wasn't injured, in the sense of needing stitches or breaking a bone or anything...but it really hurt. Since he still didn't think he needed to pull his hands in ("but it was an accident, mom - I've stuck my hands out lots of times and it never happened before"), I stopped letting him ride on the bottom.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *glorio* 
I think it has more potential for tipping- the child could stand up quickly, etc.

Oh - I'd never thought of that. I tend to worry more about my kids in the seat than in the basket. If they're in the mood to stand up and stuff, then they're going to do it...and I'd rather they stand in the basket (where they're low and can hold onto the upper part of the cart), than in the seat...


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## JessBB (Apr 10, 2007)

Ok, ok...maybe riding *in* the grocery cart isn't that dangerous...but without rules, we'd have chaos! Anarchy! Dogs and cats living together (head explodes)!


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## newbymom05 (Aug 13, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *camracrazy* 
I don't let my kids climb the slide if other people are there that are using the slide. I hate it when my kids are trying to slide down the slide and there are kids climbing up it that won't get off! But if we are alone or there are no kids playing on the slide, it doesn't bother me. It annoys me a lot more when kids pile dirt or rocks on the bottom of the slide.

Exactly.


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## Evan&Anna's_Mom (Jun 12, 2003)

Relative to the shopping cart thing -- again, it may depend on the age and agility of the child. I wouldn't let my toddler ride in the basket or on the sides/ends because she might have stood or tried to climb or whatever. But now she's 6 and perfectly capable of sitting while riding in the basket or standing and holding while riding. She still likes to ride rather than walk with me sometimes. So these work now, but they wouldn't have before. Of course, if you see her you are going to assume she's 3 or so because she is so petite. While I'm sorry if it causes problems for other parents (I never like to do that), I'm not willing to restrict her options because there might, maybe, perhaps be another mom in the store at that moment for whom this causes difficulty.

To me, there is a difference between playgrounds, where you spend more time and interact with people, and stores, where you aren't there to interact with others and whom you merely pass in the aisle. If I knew what my children were doing was causing problems for others at the playground, I would have kids modify their activities that day. For the store, I'm going to do my own thing as long as the store employees don't object and its not directly impacting someone else (e.g. my kid is climbing on their cart).


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## chfriend (Aug 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JessBB* 
Ok, ok...maybe riding *in* the grocery cart isn't that dangerous...but without rules, we'd have chaos! Anarchy! Dogs and cats living together (head explodes)!

laughup


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chfriend* 
Honestly, I don't see a way around being driven nuts at the park by other families' ways of doing things.

Aint that the truth -- and it's just as true if you take out the qualifier of "at the park" and make it a general blanket statement.

I.e., I was "driven nuts" a few weeks ago at the dentist's office, when a young mother was so worried about offending others, that she wouldn't just pull up her shirt and nurse her crying new baby. She'd forgotten to bring any cover-up, so had tried to latch Baby on in the restroom (knowing this is the only time when anything's likely to show) -- and Baby wouldn't latch on in there, but started fussing as soon as she came back to the waiting room and sat down.

I urged her to just go ahead and take care of her baby, and not worry about anyone else. I shared how that's what I'd had to do, because both my daughters had hated having their heads covered. But she wasn't comfortable, so of course I just dropped it out of respect for her being the mama. She eventually got her baby to sleep without nursing her.

So, there I was driven nuts by a mama NOT wanting to latch her baby on, uncovered, in public -- while in my day I drove at least a few people nuts for doing the complete opposite, and for well beyond the "tiny-baby stage," too. And in-line with the playground analogy, maybe there are even a few mamas who don't let their toddlers nurse in public, who don't like it when their toddlers see other toddlers (even older ones) getting the breast whenever they want it.

I guess "driving one another nuts" is what makes the world go round ... or at least it keeps the message-boards going, LOL.


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JessBB* 
Ok, ok...maybe riding *in* the grocery cart isn't that dangerous...but without rules, we'd have chaos! Anarchy! Dogs and cats living together (head explodes)!









:


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mammal_mama* 
I guess "driving one another nuts" is what makes the world go round ... or at least it keeps the message-boards going, LOL.

Sooooo true!


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## Cinder (Feb 4, 2003)

I don't think kids should climb slides, another kid may decide to slide down while they are climbing, plus, it keeps the kids waiting to go down waiting for someone to climb up it, which is not fair.

That said, Kincaid was taught to climb slides in ot and pt, he just knows he's only allowed to do it with his teachers/therapists or when we are alone on the playground/at home.


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Evan&Anna's_Mom* 
If I knew what my children were doing was causing problems for others at the playground, I would have kids modify their activities that day.

What do you mean by "causing problems for others?" I don't think it's okay to cause others problems -- but if someone chooses to develop a problem over something I'm letting my kids do that doesn't affect their kids (other than maybe by making their kids want to do it, too) -- then isn't that their own problem to work through?

I'm happy to help them work through it, if they want my help. But I'm also willing to respect their privacy, just as I expect them to respect mine.


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## GuildJenn (Jan 10, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cinder* 
I don't think kids should climb slides, another kid may decide to slide down while they are climbing, plus, it keeps the kids waiting to go down waiting for someone to climb up it, which is not fair.

That said, Kincaid was taught to climb slides in ot and pt, he just knows he's only allowed to do it with his teachers/therapists or when we are alone on the playground/at home.

For the record, I do ask my son not to climb on the slide if other kids are coming down it. I don't let him push past people rudely or throw sand or hog things, etc. I'm into that kind of consideration.

I do see that there's a certain rightness to it in that it takes about 3 _seconds_ to go down the slide and can take 3 _minutes_ to go up (or some kids might just be attempting). So that's why I do it.

But the idea that slides are inherently for going down and that it is not fair for kids to ever have to wait is kind of annoying to me. If there were a child who was almost right at the top and my son wanted to go down, I'd ask him to wait.

I hate these adult-imposed ideas about what each thing is for. What is the antecedent of a slide anyway? Probably a bannister or a log on an angle, or a slick rock? Who said these things only work in one direction?

Not only have a ton of things been removed from playgrounds for being dangerous, the rest can only be used in approved ways? No wonder the Wiis are more exciting. I really feel for our kids... colour in the lines, go down the slide. I dunno.

This is a hot button topic for me, obviously... who knew?


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GuildJenn* 
Not only have a ton of things been removed from playgrounds for being dangerous, the rest can only be used in approved ways? No wonder the Wiis are more exciting.

Yeah...I was over at a local playground with my kids the other day, and remembered playing at that same park...and wondering where all the merry-go-rounds are now. I really loved those. All the playgrounds we have now are the same - the components are mixed up a little bit differently from one place to another, but they have all the same components...and the little red "sit and spin" things just don't compare to a merry-go-round...


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## Kappa (Oct 15, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GuildJenn* 
Not only have a ton of things been *removed from playgrounds* for being dangerous, the rest can only be used in approved ways? No wonder the Wiis are more exciting. I really feel for our kids... colour in the lines, go down the slide. I dunno.

This is a hot button topic for me, obviously... who knew?

Maybe it's my area, but I never see any monkey bars, merry-go-rounds, or jungle gyms anymore.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kappa* 
Maybe it's my area, but I never see any monkey bars, merry-go-rounds, or jungle gyms anymore.

I haven't seen a jungle gym or merry-go-round in...probably 10 years. It might be longer. I'm not sure ds1 (16) has ever played on one.


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## beatee (Nov 9, 2006)

Oh my gosh this thread has brought back such traumatic memories for me...I'm guessing my parents must have had a strict 'no climbing up the slide' rule because I have a vivid recollection of being in a playground (I remember which playground it was and everything) when I was about 8 or 9, and seeing a little girl climbing up the slide. I went over to her, told her that she was doing it wrong, and when she didn't stop it.....I hit her







Slapped her in the face. It was her fifth birthday that day....

Obviously I got in absolutely loads of trouble...to this day I feel horrendous if I think about it. And yeah, I was spanked for not obeying rules as a child so I guess one could easily put 2+2 together there....or perhaps I was just an awful unpleasant child


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## aran (Feb 9, 2005)

There was no merry go round at my elementary school (in the 1970s) because a child was crushed to death on it just before I started attending the school









As a kid, I was always sad that there wasn't one there because they are so fun, but now as a mom, I understand...


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

beatee --


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## Snuzzmom (Feb 6, 2008)

We have monkey bars and jungle gyms here. I have seen merry-go-rounds with netting over them in a few places.


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## runes (Aug 5, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kathrineg* 
I think rules are a great way of ensuring that childrens' behavior is respectful of others. They need rules because they are not born with the experience or empathy to make their own decisions about certain social situations.

It is also of great benefit to a child to be able to be "polite". Even though it's arbitrary, others will judge children on their ability to conform and I think it's important to equip them with those skills (as long as they are not in conflict with a family's or individuals core values).


I want my kids to learn to be polite because they're polite people, not because they're following rules. Huge difference. It's just as possible to be a "rule breaker" and be polite, considerate and empathetic of others as it is to be a rule conformist and be rude and selfish.

And about children being judged on their ability to conform, that is probably the number one reason why we are choosing to homeschool. Thinking for themselves, and thinking outside of the box are traits that are very important to our family. As are the core values of compassion and empathy.


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## kirstenb (Oct 4, 2007)

I didn't know climbing up the slide was a big issue for some people- DS loves to climb up the slide! Of course, the little playground by our house is often empty when we go, so we don't run into any problems. If there are kids who want to go down I'll have DS stop climbing, but I don't see how it affects anyone else if no one is wanting to use the slide.


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## Tigerchild (Dec 2, 2001)

Big kids sitting in shopping carts makes me cringe, but only because I caught someone else's kid once when he tipped the cart when he half-stood up (kneeling) and was leaning over the side. I don't know who was more frightened, me thinking that I was going to see some kid's head cracked open in front of me or the poor 6-or-so-year old boy who got snatched and held bosom-level by some strange lady. Mom and I screamed at the same time, I got his head, she got his belt loop. And then we both started laughing in the next breath (adrenaline release), and then started crying the next. At least the kid handled it really well.

Ever since then, I get really nervous with big kids and standard shoping carts. If they are the heavyweight ones (like Costco or those massive things with the extra kid ride-ons like you see at Target or Home Depot sometimes) then it doesn't make my heartrate go up (even though I bet the Costco carts are just as tippy!).

As for public playgrounds, I don't have a lot of set rules, other than I expect them to mind the littles (even if the little ones are using the big kid equipment before they're really capable of being safe on it--to be honest I find that just as annoying as big kids in the little kid area) first and foremost, and that they are to be polite to the other kids and adults at the playground and if they need help with that to come to me. I prefer to be hands off as much as possible at the playground, it's a good place for them to practice awareness of other kids and adults and keeping safe line of sight with me, ect. If the slide is very crowded, I normally suggest that they not climb, as they're going to be frustrated having to wait for kid after kid to go down. Though now that they're all old enough to climb the ropes/rock climbing walls, spiral metal thingies/use the zip-line...climbing the slides has less appeal because there are so many other diverse climbers available. Our county/city parks rock in that way though.


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

I think rules that have to do with not interfering with other kids' safety/enjoyment are great -- things like not throwing sand and taking turns fall into this category.

However, adhering to a rule that doesn't impact another child in any way, like not allowing one's child to climb the slide even though no other children are playing on it or waiting to play on it, just seems arbitrary and controlling. The cutting-in-line-at-the-bank thing is actually a good example. You know how they have the ropes you're supposed to zig-zag between while you wait in line? Well, to me, having a no-climbing-the-slide-even-if-you're-the-only-kid-playing-on-it rule would be like the bank having a rule that, even if you were the only customer in the whole bank, you had to zig-zag your way through those ropes rather than just walking straight to the front of the ropes. Seems arbitrary!

On a related note, I had another parent try to control the way my son played on the swing. He likes to ride it Superman-style, on his belly rather than on his bottom, and I actually had one mom try to make him get off, even though he had only been on it for about 2 minutes, so that her daughter could have a turn, since my son was "just messing around anyway." Uh ... what?? He's playing on the swing, lady! Your daughter can have a turn when he's through! I thought it was so bizarre that she wanted to control the way he was swinging.


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## Evan&Anna's_Mom (Jun 12, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mammal_mama* 
What do you mean by "causing problems for others?" I don't think it's okay to cause others problems -- but if someone chooses to develop a problem over something I'm letting my kids do that doesn't affect their kids (other than maybe by making their kids want to do it, too) -- then isn't that their own problem to work through?

I'm happy to help them work through it, if they want my help. But I'm also willing to respect their privacy, just as I expect them to respect mine.

For example, if my child climbing is resulting in a smaller/less skilled child trying to follow her, then I will ask my child to not climb for the other child's safety. Obviously I would have my child stop climbing up a slide if it got in another child's way going down and such. I'll move a game of big-kid tag if there are little kids in the same area to prevent problems.

Frankly, if something "non-traditional" that my child is doing is causing another mother to have a hissy-fit at her kids, I'll ask my child to stop because 1. I can't stand hearing the hissy-fit and 2. because its not fair for another child to get yelled at because of my child's behavior. Sadly, this has happened more than once -- probably because I have a gymnastics whiz kid who can/will climb and jump from anything.

On the other hand, it bugs me no end when some well-meaning adult tells my child to not do something because "its dangerous". This happens a lot too because DD is so agile and because she looks so much younger than she is. As long as the concern doesn't appear to be that another kid will follow her example, I'll definitely ask the other person to "Please leave my child be, she's fine thank-you-very-much".

For me, it all comes down to teaching courtesy and awareness to my children. And the occasional wish that others would do the same.


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## Aubergine68 (Jan 25, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *runes* 
Priority goes to the little one going down, but if no-one else is on the slide at the time, we encourage DD to climb up as well as slide down.

.... it's one of the best things to do at the playground to facilitate gross motor development.











This.

I know schoolkids often have to follow the no climbing up the slide rule at recess, and given how crowded the slides are then, I totally understand that.


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## mbbinsc (May 8, 2008)

When my DS was around 4, he got knocked off the side of a rather high slide by a kid climbing up the slide. DS got a concussion and ended up with a trip to the ER. Needless to say, I am very anxious when I see kids climbing up the slide, if other children are around (especially little ones).

The park by us just upgraded their equipment. They have a structure for the 5-12 year olds that you climb up to get to a tunnel slide. I love it. The older kids can climb the outside of the slide and the younger ones can't even figure out how to get to slide so are not near.


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## Agatha_Ann (Apr 5, 2009)

All the parks and school playgrounds in my area have jungle gyms and monkey bars, then some have merry go rounds and rock climbing walls. Almost all have swings and tire swings.

I let my kids go up the slide at our house, but not at the park. I really don't see any kids around here allowed to go up. We live in the mountains in an area where families and schools go hiking and rock climbing all the time, so our kids aren't hurting for climb time.


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## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Evan&Anna's_Mom* 
On the other hand, it bugs me no end when some well-meaning adult tells my child to not do something because "its dangerous". This happens a lot too because DD is so agile and because she looks so much younger than she is. As long as the concern doesn't appear to be that another kid will follow her example, I'll definitely ask the other person to "Please leave my child be, she's fine thank-you-very-much".


Yeah, this really bugs me too. My oldest is a monkey and always has been (I remember leaving him sitting on the floor at 8 or 9 months to go pee, and coming back to him having scaled the ceiling height bookshelves of or entertainment center! He was giggling hysterically and not scared at all. Actually, pretty angry that I took him down.







) and is one of the kids who's always climbing on the equipment in strange ways, climbing boulders and trees, walking on high walls, etc. I can't remember the last time he's fallen from something and is a very good judge of his own abilities and limitations. It drives me mad when I'm sitting there watching him do something and another adult tells him to stop. It's one thing if I don't seem to notice (like I'm occupied with one of the other kids while he's doing something that looks daredevily) - but if I'm standing right there chatting with him while he does it, I clearly don't have a problem with it.


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Evan&Anna's_Mom* 
For example, if my child climbing is resulting in a smaller/less skilled child trying to follow her, then I will ask my child to not climb for the other child's safety.

I guess we just see it differently. When my own children were small enough that I was concerned they might harm themselves trying to follow a bigger child, this was when I saw it as my responsibility to shadow them anyway.

I'll admit I initially wished that every parent had my same comfort-level, i.e. when my oldest was a toddler it was upsetiing to visit in a friend's home who also had a toddler but "didn't believe in baby-gates" to block off stairs or anything ... but as my own children have grown older, I've realized how very limiting it would be, if whenever younger kids were present, my kids had to stay within the limits of what was safe for them.

That "shadowing"-time is pretty short in the overall sceme of things.

Quote:

Frankly, if something "non-traditional" that my child is doing is causing another mother to have a hissy-fit at her kids, I'll ask my child to stop because 1. I can't stand hearing the hissy-fit and 2. because its not fair for another child to get yelled at because of my child's behavior. Sadly, this has happened more than once -- probably because I have a gymnastics whiz kid who can/will climb and jump from anything.
It's disturbing to see/hear mothers having hissy-fits, I agree.

It just seems unfair to me to constrict my kids just because some other mom is yelling at her kid -- I guess I see her yelling as "her" problem and not "because of my child's behavior." Though I agree it's not fun to listen to.

Now, as far as other families coming to visit -- we used to have some friends who strictly-limited the "treats" their kids could have. I mean like a cookie, and just ONE cookie, was something they could get after staying dry all night and keeping up with their chores and being obedient all day ...

Well, by the time my oldest was old enough to ask for her friends from that family to come play, she was also able to understand when I explained to her how left-out her friends would feel if they saw her freely-eating snacks they had to work so hard for, before they could even get a tiny bit. She was very understanding and would often have a treat right before they came and then hide them, so her friends wouldn't feel tempted.

But while I would do this for a planned visit, it seems like overkill to do it everywhere we go, whenever we just happen to run across some complete stranger who strictly-limits her children's food or activities.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eclipse* 
Yeah, this really bugs me too. My oldest is a monkey and always has been (I remember leaving him sitting on the floor at 8 or 9 months to go pee, and coming back to him having scaled the ceiling height bookshelves of or entertainment center! He was giggling hysterically and not scared at all. Actually, pretty angry that I took him down.







) and is one of the kids who's always climbing on the equipment in strange ways, climbing boulders and trees, walking on high walls, etc. I can't remember the last time he's fallen from something and is a very good judge of his own abilities and limitations. It drives me mad when I'm sitting there watching him do something and another adult tells him to stop. It's one thing if I don't seem to notice (like I'm occupied with one of the other kids while he's doing something that looks daredevily) - but if I'm standing right there chatting with him while he does it, I clearly don't have a problem with it.

Me, three! DS1 was like this - still is, at 16. I've had so many people tell him to stop doing something while I was standing right there. He's an excellent judge of his abilities in this area, and has never hurt himself at all (okay - he broke his arm jumping off our couch...but he had his eyes closed, and he was only 3). He's on his school gymnastics team now, and is very good at it. Some kids are just really capable at that kind of thing.

I think other parents tended to assume I didn't care if he hurt himself or something.


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## Evan&Anna's_Mom (Jun 12, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mammal_mama* 
It just seems unfair to me to constrict my kids just because some other mom is yelling at her kid -- I guess I see her yelling as "her" problem and not "because of my child's behavior." Though I agree it's not fun to listen to.

I think, for me, this is an issue of teaching my children to be aware of how their actions are impacting other people. Even if the actions shouldn't actually have that impact (AKA the other parent is going overboard). I didn't have this emphasis when the kids were younger -- then they needed to be testing their limits/playing as they wished so long as no one was getting directly impacted. But now that DS is entering the dreaded "pre-teen" age, I think its important for him to start being more aware of a wider sphere of influence. I have some hope that this sort of awareness on the playground will spill over into awareness of how his language choices might impact those who hear him or how his choices about something like smoking might have a wider impact than just his body. Or, for that matter, how what he writes in the school paper might influence someone he has never even met, for good or ill.

In that respect, I agree with an earlier post-er that playground behavior can be used as a teaching tool and/or set the stage for other life lessons.


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## ishyfishie (Dec 20, 2006)

When I was little, we were playing on a metal slide at an indoor McDonalds at the mall and were climbing up and I got knocked down and hit my head really hard--but even so, I still support kids climbing up slides.







My dd is not quite 21 months and while she can't quite make it up most slides, she does try and I help her learn. She's a climber, has been since before she could walk, and I'd rather help her learn to do it safely than let it be "forbidden" so she does it behind my back and gets hurt.

And I don't know how Sid the Science Kid goes over on MDC, lol...but through my reading of this thread, all I can do is sing his "Push it up, push it up the inclined plane!" song. They do little "experiments" with simple tools and the inclined plane one involved finding the easiest way to get a heavy item from the bottom of the play set to the top. Their inclined plane was the slide.







So really, as a tool, an inclined plane is useful in both directions, no?


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## Evan&Anna's_Mom (Jun 12, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
Me, three! DS1 was like this - still is, at 16. I've had so many people tell him to stop doing something while I was standing right there. He's an excellent judge of his abilities in this area, and has never hurt himself at all (okay - he broke his arm jumping off our couch...but he had his eyes closed, and he was only 3). He's on his school gymnastics team now, and is very good at it. Some kids are just really capable at that kind of thing.

I once had someone walk past me as I was standing and watching DD (about the only kid there, so I would assume clearly "mine") and say to her "You shouldn't be climbing that high on the ladder. I'm a doctor and I see kids in the emergency room with broken bones all the time from doing this sort of thing." I was SO livid! "Excuse me, are you speaking to my daughter? How is her climbing any of your concern? Please leave her alone." He starts ranting at me about how toddlers shouldn't be allowed to climb up the ladder. He was not happy when I informed him that DD was 1. not a toddler (she was 5 at the time) and 2. was perfectly capable of climbing the ladder since, after all, she climbed much higher things at gymnastics class. I was sort of tempted to ask why a grown man, without a child present, had entered the playground and tried to engage a small girl in conversation. But I didn't.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Evan&Anna's_Mom* 
I was sort of tempted to ask why a grown man, without a child present, had entered the playground and tried to engage a small girl in conversation. But I didn't.

No kidding. IMO, teaching a child that it's okay to disregard their parents to listen to a random stranger is far more dangerous than climbing/playing on monkey bars.

I won't lie. I've had my heart in my mouth more than once while ds1 was playing at a playground - but I figured out at an early age that his idea of what he's capable of is _far_ more accurate than my ideas were. (This isn't surprising, as I've never been close to capable of doing a lot of the things he does.)


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## Whistler (Jan 30, 2009)

Right after reading this thread this morning I took my kids to the park. Since I had just read it, I watched the slide closely to see what happened.

To my amusement there was no line waiting to go down the slide, there was a line waiting to go UP the slide! Of all several kids at the park, all of them wanted to climb UP the slide and not a mama there told them not to. Sometimes they got to the top and actually walked down the stairs to try the slide again from the bottom!









Most times they got halfway up and then slid down, scooping up everyone along the way and landing in a pile. But nobody minded in the least.

During the course of the morning I saw probably ten kids and four or five moms rotate through and the only time I ever heard a mom ask a kid to stop climbing was when a little girl stood at the top once wanting to go down. She did then everyone resumed their climbing.

Our park doesn't have a climbing wall or a rock or a set of monkey bars. The only thing to climb on is the slide, the ladder or the stairs. I'm glad no one minds slide-climbing here.


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## Just Elsa (May 18, 2009)

I think using equipment in non-standard ways is a good experience for kids when there's nobody else to be bothered by it. If others are around, I expect my kid to go up the stairs and down the slide because it's good manners to follows that guideline. What you do when you're alone in the playground is entirely different.


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## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Just Elsa* 
If others are around, I expect my kid to go up the stairs and down the slide because it's good manners to follows that guideline.

I think you can tell from this thread that there is in no way a consensus about whether going up the slide when others are around (assuming the others aren't trying to come down the slide themselves) is good manners.


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## vegemamato (Jul 4, 2007)

My kids rarely go DOWN the slide









Unless, of course, they're playing 'Bumper Cars'..

When my smallest was about 8 mos we taught her to climb it too







-with a little boost..

(lately though, due to my 4.5 yr old's sesory issues, we try to play when there aren't any other children.. If there are, we go for coffee until it's empty or play in the grass







)

I've also talked with other mamas about the slide thing- most around here are ok with the lil monkeys going up


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## Just Elsa (May 18, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eclipse* 
I think you can tell from this thread that there is in no way a consensus about whether going up the slide when others are around (assuming the others aren't trying to come down the slide themselves) is good manners.

I think you can tell from my post that I'm teaching my kid what *I* consider to be good manners.







There are all sorts of parents out there who let their kids behave in ways I find absolutely unacceptable. There are even parents out there who don't like the way I raise my kid. I don't tell other people's children they can't do it, just mine.


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## tallulahma (Jun 16, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
If you see it that way, that's your prerogative. I think school is a sick little microcosm of its own, and has little or no bearing on real life. And, children absorbing the rules of behaviour they pick up in school is hardly a good thing. YMMV, and that's okay. Personally, I'll never use what schools do or don't allow as any kind of guide to what's acceptable behaviour elsewhere.

totally.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JessBB* 
Why do the grocery cart (mis)behaviors (







, YMMV) drive me bonkers? Because (1) It's dangerous, esp. the hanging, and (2) I really, really don't want my ds to think that it's ok and he should be allowed to do so. I fully admit that this is just my "thing."
.


its our standard to put the kids in the big part and the groceries in the seat and under the basket! i apologize in advance if you live in my neighbourhood









i see how it could be dangerous. but I have had dd1 rock in the seat and smack her lip on the handle bars and get a bloody mouth. so, technically, anything is dangerous.









at our park, the kids always work it out themselves. if there are some at the top waiting they yell, "hey, we want to come down" and then the kids climbing either hurries up or gets off.

I think the amount of times a parent got involved is much less than any other situation at the park....like sand toys, taking turns on the swings, etc.


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## Bug-a-Boo's Mama (Jan 15, 2008)

As long as DS is sharing the slide and his climbing back up it isn't hindering anyones sliding down, it is all good. If the park were crowded lots of children using the slides I would just tell DS that he can only go down the slide right now as there are others who want to slide.


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## bugginsmom (Aug 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
I don't worry about it. I've had to deal with tons of things from the other side, too (like the parents who let their children chase ducks and chickens at the farm, while I'm explaining to my kids that it's not fair to the birds).

I find the "no climbing up the slide" thing to be a really arbitrary rule, and I can't parent by not letting my kids do things, just because other people's kids aren't allowed to do them. My kids know they can't climb up a slide if someone is at the top waiting to come down (rude), but we don't have a general "no climbing up the slide" rule, and I won't pretend we do, just because someone else does.

Yes that! Honestly it is an incline and fun to climb. Besides, I've never been to a park with rules about how to use the equipment are listed so I leave it up to my ds's interpretation.


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## karemore (Oct 7, 2008)

Didn't read the whole thread, but DD is allowed to climb the slide as long as nobody wants to come down it.

We were at a park the other day and a mom wouldn't let her kids climb the slide. I thought that was odd, and it never occurred to me to stop my child from doing it. If her kids had been smaller, I might have told DD to wait until they were gone, but the other kids were the same size and bigger.

It's pretty much understood around here that sliders have the right of way over climbers.


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## bugginsmom (Aug 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JessBB* 
And OT, one of the very, very few things other parents do that makes me crazy is to allow their child to ride inside the grocery cart, rather than in the seat, or even worse, to let them hang off the side! If you are doing this, mamas and daddies, I beseech you to please stop







!

Well, sometimes you have a child who is much to big for the seat, but needs to be in the cart so in the basket it is. My ds was 32lbs at a year old and the techincal weight limit for all the cart seats around here is 35 lbs. By 15 months he was too big. Oh, and now at four and 56lbs he will hang on the side of the cart if he gets tired. I don't see why either of these scenarios would bother someone else?


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

I don't mind if my dd climbs up the slide at all, and she is always very courteous of people coming down the slide, and also if young children are on the equipment.

The only time I've had to ask her to modify her behavior is this one time when she would play on the equipment and then run around in the grass, and then play on the equipment and then run around in the grass, etc., and there was this little girl following her around on the grass whose mom didn't want her to. Every time she'd follow my dd on the grass, her mom would yell and spank her. My dd didn't see the mom spanking the little girl, but I did, and I pulled dd aside and told her the little girl kept getting spanked when she ran on the grass but the little girl kept following her anyway, so maybe she wouldn't mind just playing on the equipment until they left so the little girl wouldn't get spanked anymore. And she was shocked by that, but stayed on the equipment until they left, and kept a close and cautious eye on the spanking mom.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bugginsmom* 
Well, sometimes you have a child who is much to big for the seat, but needs to be in the cart so in the basket it is. My ds was 32lbs at a year old and the techincal weight limit for all the cart seats around here is 35 lbs. By 15 months he was too big. Oh, and now at four and 56lbs he will hang on the side of the cart if he gets tired. I don't see why either of these scenarios would bother someone else?

My dd was very large for her age and was too big for the seat early too. I would tell her to stay on her bottom in the cart and I would keep a very close eye on her. I was careful with her and I'm comfortable with what we did. Really, it isn't anyone else's business.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bugginsmom* 
Well, sometimes you have a child who is much to big for the seat, but needs to be in the cart so in the basket it is. My ds was 32lbs at a year old and the techincal weight limit for all the cart seats around here is 35 lbs. By 15 months he was too big. Oh, and now at four and 56lbs he will hang on the side of the cart if he gets tired. I don't see why either of these scenarios would bother someone else?

There's a weight limit? Is that on all carts? I've never seen one posted. DS2 still rides in the seat sometimes, and he's 43 pounds...


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## hopefulfaith (Mar 28, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *runes* 
As a pediatric physical therapist, I can tell you that climbing up the slide is one of the best activities at the playground for leg strengthening. It also takes a ton of balance, coordination and motor control to manage climbing up a slide. If anyone gives you grief about climbing up slides, tell them your PT friend told you it's one of the best things to do at the playground to facilitate gross motor development.









Cool! Thanks, PT friend.


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## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
There's a weight limit? Is that on all carts? I've never seen one posted. DS2 still rides in the seat sometimes, and he's 43 pounds...

A lot of them have a weight limit posted on the back or front of the fold down seat. However, my DD is around 50 lbs with ridiculously long legs, and sometimes still sits in them.


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## Breeder (May 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kathrineg* 
It personally drives me nuts for four reasons:

1) Kids don't always notice the other kids who are trying to go down the slide, they don't always care, they have poor impulse control or poor decision-making skills (totally typical for their ages)

2) It generally increases the need for parents/caregivers to stand right by the slide monitoring traffic flow which is annoying when you're trying to let your kid just play instead of standing right there monitoring the slide

3) Many slides don't allow for good visual access from the bottom to the top

4) Some kids will be intimidated by kids climbing up the slides and then they won't even try to use them


This.

My son is good about watching for kids coming down the slide and generally will only climb if no one else is playing on the equipment, but MANY times he has been sitting at the top of the slide waiting patiently while kid A makes it to the top, only to have Kid B start up right after, not giving him a chance to slide.

I think it's fine if a parent is there monitoring the situation, but most parents (ime) are NOT. I would just rather they not climb up when others are around to go down.

Or maybe if the park had a designated slide with arrows pointing up on it and one identical next to it with arrows pointing down.

I'm fine with climbing but when a kid at the top has been waiting and has to yell "EXCUSE ME PLEASE" to kids constantly coming up the slide just to use the equipment as it was designed to be used it makes me wish (for the millionth time that day) that parents were more involved.


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## Breeder (May 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamazee* 
I don't mind if my dd climbs up the slide at all, and she is always very courteous of people coming down the slide, and also if young children are on the equipment.

The only time I've had to ask her to modify her behavior is this one time when she would play on the equipment and then run around in the grass, and then play on the equipment and then run around in the grass, etc., and there was this little girl following her around on the grass whose mom didn't want her to. Every time she'd follow my dd on the grass, her mom would yell and spank her. My dd didn't see the mom spanking the little girl, but I did, and I pulled dd aside and told her the little girl kept getting spanked when she ran on the grass but the little girl kept following her anyway, so maybe she wouldn't mind just playing on the equipment until they left so the little girl wouldn't get spanked anymore. And she was shocked by that, but stayed on the equipment until they left, and kept a close and cautious eye on the spanking mom.


That story just breaks my heart! Poor little girl.


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## *Erin* (Mar 18, 2002)

different parents have different rules. i wouldnt sweat it. for us, when there isn't anyone trying to come down the slide, dd is free to climb up. otherwise, she can only go down the "right" way


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eclipse* 
A lot of them have a weight limit posted on the back or front of the fold down seat. However, my DD is around 50 lbs with ridiculously long legs, and sometimes still sits in them.

That's interesting. I've never noticed a limit posted. Mind you, any writing on one of the seats may well be eroded before I ever noticed it. Aside from the pictures with the X's through them, I can't make out most of what's on the seats.

I know dd still uses the seat once in a blue moon, and she's almost 50 pounds...and two of my nephews used them up to 60 pounds, easily...one of them in a double seat with his sister, who was over 50 at the time.


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## EviesMom (Nov 30, 2004)

I don't mind kids--mine or otherwise-- climbing the slide. Kids learn that different people and groups have different rules pretty quickly.

The preschool doesn't let kids on the swings though they use the rest of the public playground. The kids understand that "school rules" are different than family rules. My kids learned fast that playground rules with Daddy are different than with Mama; I let them do less than he does. Babysitter rules are different too.


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## chfriend (Aug 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Evan&Anna's_Mom* 
Frankly, if something "non-traditional" that my child is doing is causing another mother to have a hissy-fit at her kids, I'll ask my child to stop because 1. I can't stand hearing the hissy-fit and 2. because its not fair for another child to get yelled at because of my child's behavior. Sadly, this has happened more than once -- probably because I have a gymnastics whiz kid who can/will climb and jump from anything.

That's my kind of "natural" leaning as well...but I decided not to do this because I want to establish that we do what we believe is safe in our family regardless of what the other families do. If I give in to peer pressure now, I feel like it'll be harder later to say..."Don't do what that family is doing, do what you believe is safe."


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## Evan&Anna's_Mom (Jun 12, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chfriend* 
That's my kind of "natural" leaning as well...but I decided not to do this because I want to establish that we do what we believe is safe in our family regardless of what the other families do. If I give in to peer pressure now, I feel like it'll be harder later to say..."Don't do what that family is doing, do what you believe is safe."

But I don't want my child to do something that won't be safe for another person if that person is likely to follow him. This started when he needed to think about his actions and his little sister. Nor do I want him to encourage his friend to do something that is OK with me but not OK with friend's mom. I think this is going to become increasingly important as he becomes a teenager and parental expectations may diverge even more than now. While I don't want him to bow to peer pressure, I also don't want him to be the "leader" into actions that might get others into trouble.


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## chfriend (Aug 29, 2002)

E&A: I totally see where you're coming from. With mine, it's a bigger issue not to worry all.the.time about the other kids. If I needed to build that awareness, I'd likely do more what you're doing.

We call my older ([email protected]) dd, the "safety officer."


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## DevaMajka (Jul 4, 2005)

My rule of thumb is that people going down the slide have the right-of-way.
Ime, kids seem to work it out amongst themselves.

Though I do ask ds to refrain from doing things that might cause trouble with other kids. Especially if the other kids are younger, but still old enough to want to copy him- then I tell him not to do things that would be unsafe for the younger kids to try. It saves some stress for the other parent, some unhappiness for the other kid, and ds is pretty understanding of my explanations.

If it isn't a safety thing, but rather the other parent just not wanting their kids to go up the slide, I would probably *ask* ds not to do it, and explain my reasons, but I wouldn't require him to comply. That seems fair to me.


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## HappilyEvrAfter (Apr 1, 2009)

Wow, I'm in trouble cause *I* regularly climb the slide when were at the park.
















I don't overly restrict at the park, but I def. teach awareness of others and having to live _around_ the rules of others.

I'm another mom who doesn't appreicate having the kiddo stopped from doing something when I'm blatently watching him. I respect other's family space, I would appreicate the same space. (even though I've had my heart in my throat a couple of times too)

...and the grocery cart...um...sigh...the whole thing is just unsafe. I think the kiddo has ridden in every position on that thing. Luckily our grocery store is small and we don't go very often.

As for the "other kid getting in trouble", that's a hard one. I generally don't expect my son to stop something just because another kid is told by a parent to stop unless there's something posted. I can't control other people's private lives and don't enjoy when they try to control mine.
When it comes up vice versa I explain to my kiddo that I'M _his_ mother and not the other kids...and explain to him why I'm imposing an additional/opposite rule. This is usually enough.

There will always be issues of these kinds cause we're all so different and value different aspects of the "rules" for all different reasons (i.e. safety, childhood experiences, parenting values).


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## contactmaya (Feb 21, 2006)

As long as they arent hurting anyone, themselves, or property, anything goes. When it comes to the slide, kids coming down have right of way, just as children have right of way over the adults ( sometimes i might sit on those steps )

Its a *play* ground. They are meant to have fun, and play, not follow pointless rules.


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## claddaghmom (May 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eclipse* 
Yeah, this really bugs me too. My oldest is a monkey and always has been (I remember leaving him sitting on the floor at 8 or 9 months to go pee, and coming back to him having scaled the ceiling height bookshelves of or entertainment center! He was giggling hysterically and not scared at all. Actually, pretty angry that I took him down.







) and is one of the kids who's always climbing on the equipment in strange ways, climbing boulders and trees, walking on high walls, etc. I can't remember the last time he's fallen from something and is a very good judge of his own abilities and limitations. It drives me mad when I'm sitting there watching him do something and another adult tells him to stop. It's one thing if I don't seem to notice (like I'm occupied with one of the other kids while he's doing something that looks daredevily) - but if I'm standing right there chatting with him while he does it, I clearly don't have a problem with it.


Yeah I will third that! One time I had a mall manager scold me (in front of other parents) because of my siblings' way of climbing around. Obviously she had liability on her mind. Thankfully my 9yo sister put in her own sarcasm physically...when I told her "The lady said please don't do that!" She said, "What, this?" And basically did a backflip off the top of the climbing wall. I thought the lady was going to pass out. But she made a HMPH noise and left. OH and for the record I did NOT encourage or reinforce my sister's behavior hahaha. In fact at the time I was rather angry b/c other parents were staring.

Seriously though I think some kids can't manage to walk out the door without falling and breaking a bone. So far, we're at 11 kids, 22 years and no broken bones, concussions, sprains etc. Boy I hope saying that doesn't mean we're due for one!!!


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## IntrovertExtrovert (Mar 2, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sisteeesmama* 

But I felt a little wierd about letting dd climb the slide when the other mom was so vocal with her kids about not doing.

This happens pretty much everytime I'm at the park with someone.

This is hard for me, too. But think of it this way--if another mother was allowing her kids to do something that you don't allow for whatever reason, you wouldn't start allowing your kid to do it just to fit in, right?

I'm trying to teach my kid that different families have different rules, and we just worry about following our own rules. I try to remind myself of that, too, when I'm feeling judgmental about other parents' choices.


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## purplemoon (Sep 24, 2008)

I was one of "those" moms until I read this thread. I thought it was the park rule so I always told my son to go down the slide.

You have no idea how excited he will be when I tell him that if nobody is going down, he can climb right up!

Must have been ingrained at school.


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## IntrovertExtrovert (Mar 2, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *purplemoon* 
I was one of "those" moms until I read this thread. I thought it was the park rule so I always told my son to go down the slide.

You have no idea how excited he will be when I tell him that if nobody is going down, he can climb right up!

Must have been ingrained at school.

And I didn't realize that putting sand or wood chips on the bottom of the slide irritated so many people, so I've learned something, too. All of the kids I've seen love to slide through the sand, so it never occurred to me that it was bothersome. My rule has been that we clean it off the slide after we put it on, but now we'll stick to doing it only when the park is empty.


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## tallulahma (Jun 16, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *IntrovertExtrovert* 
And I didn't realize that putting sand or wood chips on the bottom of the slide irritated so many people, so I've learned something, too. All of the kids I've seen love to slide through the sand, so it never occurred to me that it was bothersome. My rule has been that we clean it off the slide after we put it on, but now we'll stick to doing it only when the park is empty.

dd1 does that too. i had nooo idea


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## teale (Feb 20, 2009)

I've been to the park twice in the last week. The slide was the main focus of attraction for all the kids.

Most of the mom's were good with warning their bigger kid about the little kids who like to hang out around the bottom of the slide.
Most of the mom's who had smaller kids were good about corralling their child away from the bottom of the slide so the bigger kids could slide.

My DS loves piling rocks on the slide, and at one point there was about 10 kids all working together piling rocks on the slide, then they would clear out of the way and one kid would slide down pushing the rocks out of the way. DS who is 17 months thought this was the best thing in the world. What an amazing, non-traditional way of teaching teamwork, cause and effect, and so many other things! All the kids were working nicely together, and laughing!

Then another mom came over, and yelled at her kids for piling rocks on the slide. She hadn't seen that they were doing an experiment (pile the rocks, someone slides down, watch the rocks go off the slide, repeat), and two of the kids got smacked on the butt. At that point, I watched my DS walk to the edge of the playground and sit down. He looked so defeated, as did many of the other kids. They hadn't been doing anything wrong, everyone was having fun, and no one was feeling left out. Of course though, what they were doing was "wrong" even though, it wasn't wrong at all.

I mean really, who knew climbing a slide could be so controversial? I get not wanting your kids or other kids to get hurt, but to make a statement that slide climbing is rude? Really? These are kids we're talking about! And the thought that playground rules are helping to conform our children? YIKES! I thought playgrounds were for interaction, for fun, and for learning.


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## Cinder (Feb 4, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Evan&Anna's_Mom* 
But I don't want my child to do something that won't be safe for another person if that person is likely to follow him.

I agree, that's a general rule we have. Travis does want to do everything he sees others do, but at 22 months old, and only 30", climbing on top of the playground equipment (8ft+ off the ground) is NOT safe, and if he sees a big kid doing it, he will spend his entire time at the park trying to, so I will spend my entire time there preventing it, which isn't safe to my other kids. So we would just have to stop going to the park when DH can't go too. Luckily, I have a leg to stand on here, cause it's in the posted rules at our local public park that climbing on the top of the equipment and jumping off the equipment is not allowed.


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## waiflywaif (Oct 17, 2005)

Quote:

it's in the posted rules at our local public park that climbing on the top of the equipment and jumping off the equipment is not allowed.
That's kind of a bummer. So many rules.


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## Polliwog (Oct 29, 2006)

I didn't read all the replies (although I tried,) but my kids (at home and at my school) can go up the slide as long as there isn't someone getting ready to come down. I ask them not to climb up the really curvy slides since it's hard to see who's at the top.

In fact on my Reggio discussion list, whenever someone brings up a subject that teachers with other philosophies might object to (for example, mixing paint or play dough colors) they often refer to it as going up the slide. (Ok, I didn't explain that right, but it's early.)

Slides are made very differently than they were when we were kids (due to very stringent equipment safety standards.) "We've" also taken a lot of the challenge out of them in an attempt to make it "safer" for children. There is really little risk in climbing up a slide as long as the children are aware of others and they are supervised.


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## OkiMom (Nov 21, 2007)

My daughter has been climbing up slides since she was probably around 11 months old. She loves doing it. My only rule is that she can't if there are other children using the slides. Since there are 4 slides at every playground over here there is usually one thats not being used that she can climb.

As for what other mothers say she knows the only person she has to obey is me. I don't allow other peoples rules affect my child's play. However every kid Ive seen over here climbs up the slides more than they slide down them.


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

the parks are too dumbed down. so i actually appreciate it when other kids are climbing the wrong way and when my dd used to copy her - just for her to think outside the box. she is also the child who is v. cautious so basically she can do anything on the playground that she can do without hurting either someone or herself.

HOWEVER if there are two playgrounds at the same place - then i wont let her climb that way at the toddler park. she can do whatever she wants in the older playground and not the young.

but she is also a child who had natural balance and knows her limits. she has never ever liked me hovering around her. thats when she makes a mistake.

however now that she is 6 and usually has a little child tagging her she herself has discovered not to do dangerous things when there is a child following her. instead she encourages the child to take the lead.


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## octobermom (Aug 31, 2005)

In gereral I don't let "my" child climb up the slide now that she is older I will allow it if we are alone or with jsut a few kids and she is really paying attention but in general no I don't I've seen way too many injuries with kids not paying attention with who is going up VS down. What another parent allows or doesn't I leave up to them.
Deanna


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## philomom (Sep 12, 2004)

If no one is waiting to slide down... my child may climb up.

Never put wood chips or sand or dirt on a slide. If there's a little rain, everyone's clothes get a terrible mess.


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## MamieCole (Jun 1, 2007)

I am just







at the fact that there are 7 pages of debate as to the proper use of something called a "slide." Ummmm...you can't slide up. Maybe the focus of this debate should be whether or not "slide" is the appropriate term for the structure.


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MamieCole* 
I am just







at the fact that there are 7 pages of debate as to the proper use of something called a "slide." Ummmm...you can't slide up. Maybe the focus of this debate should be whether or not "slide" is the appropriate term for the structure.

Being a language lover myself, I see your point, but it's neat to see the unconventional ways kids use the toys/structures at the park. My son likes to twist the swing up, sit on the seat, and let it untwist -- that's most definitely not "swinging," but I can't see any logical reason to disallow it (or to start calling a swing a "twist"







).


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cinder* 
I agree, that's a general rule we have. Travis does want to do everything he sees others do, but at 22 months old, and only 30", climbing on top of the playground equipment (8ft+ off the ground) is NOT safe, and if he sees a big kid doing it, he will spend his entire time at the park trying to, so I will spend my entire time there preventing it, which isn't safe to my other kids. So we would just have to stop going to the park when DH can't go too.

Oh. Your kids must be closer in age than mine; my 2 daughters are almost 5 years apart, so by the time my youngest was a toddler needing my constant shadowing, my oldest was like 6 and certainly not needing me to stay within arms-length any more.

Initially, though, I didn't try to take them swimming by myself. Dh just took our older dd swimming for the first couple of years, then last summer when Baby turned 3, and our older dd was 8 and a pretty good swimmer, I started taking them both and it words out fine; I stay close to Baby but keep scanning the pool for my older dd to make sure she's okay.

While some things would be harder for me if I had more children closer in age, my friends with close-in-age children often don't feel the same need to go anywhere, because their children have more common interests and play together for longer periods. My 2 girls do often have fun playing together -- but my oldest also gets "cagey" if she doesn't get some regular opportuties to play with children closer to her age.

So it seems kind of like a trade-off: It's easier for us to go places -- but then we have more of a NEED to go places to meet the needs of my oldest. While it's harder for moms with many close-in-age to get out and keep everyone safe, but they may not have the same NEED to leave home.

It still doesn't seem fair to me, for older kids to have to constrict themselves to what's safe for a toddler. I guess I feel this way because our main purpose for going places right now is to meet the needs of my 9yo. My 4yo is perfectly happy playing at home all the time at the moment -- she has fun at the park, too, of course -- it's just not a "need" for her at the moment like it is for her Big Sis.


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mammal_mama* 
It still doesn't seem fair to me, for older kids to have to constrict themselves to what's safe for a toddler.

Yeah, I can't get on board with that either. In a small playgroup or something it would be nice for all the kids to be aware of each other's abilities and keep their play age-appropriate so as not to exclude anyone, but at the park with strangers, although I would keep my eye out and ask my son to stop doing something if it was truly causing a problem for another mom or her toddler, it's certainly not an expectation I would have of other moms/kids.


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

I let the kids climb up if there's nobody on the playset. As soon as other kids come and start using the slide to go down though, even if they're taking breaks in between, I have the kids stop going up, because I don't want down sliders to have to wait for my up climbers. It's just easier for me to say (and for them to understand), "OK, other kids are here too now, no more climbing up" than, "Make sure nobody is coming down before you go up" because someone could run to the slide in the time while my kid is climbing up.


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## GuildJenn (Jan 10, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MamieCole* 
I am just







at the fact that there are 7 pages of debate as to the proper use of something called a "slide." Ummmm...you can't slide up. Maybe the focus of this debate should be whether or not "slide" is the appropriate term for the structure.

Well then, don't let the humans -- or gorillas - on the monkey bars.


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## pauletoy (Aug 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GuildJenn* 
Well then, don't let the humans -- or gorillas - on the monkey bars.

















:

My dh says we should call CPS on all the parents who allow slide climbing (gasp!!!) Just kidding of course!!!!!!!!!


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## Dandelionkid (Mar 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
If you see it that way, that's your prerogative. I think school is a sick little microcosm of its own, and has little or no bearing on real life. And, children absorbing the rules of behaviour they pick up in school is hardly a good thing. YMMV, and that's okay. Personally, I'll never use what schools do or don't allow as any kind of guide to what's acceptable behaviour elsewhere.

totally agree!!


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## Dandelionkid (Mar 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GuildJenn* 
I'm with you.

I think the "stairs are for climbing, slides are for going down" rule is really arbitrary and silly. I think basic courtesy is not really directional. If you're in someone's way, get out of the way. I think we could also agree that people going down on the slide have the right-of-way by virtue of speed and skill.

But really - you can sit on the stairs, go down them, or even bump/slide down them - jump off them, play trucks on them, etc. As long as you are not blocking other kids, who cares?

Swings - swing with your bum in them, dangle from the waist, push them up as you run under - whatever. As long as you are not pushing them into other people, go for it.

Same thing with the slide. It is a moulded piece of plastic on an angle. That's all. It's not sacrosanct down-only.

I don't have any objection to kids sitting on the roof of the playhouse. Some of my best conversations were held that way in grade 6.

Sure safety is an issue and in a school environment there will have to be rules because as people have said, there are ratios of supervision and a whole bunch of kids on the playground all at the same time.

But a normal neighbourhood park? Play is play.

Love this post.


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## savvybabygrace (Feb 15, 2007)

If no one else is using the slide, we always let our girls climb up the slides. I really don't see why not. If there are others using the slide, our girls know that the rule is up the stairs, down the slide only. I've never once had to remind them to not climb if others are going down, and they're 3.5 and almost 2. They just 'get it'. So, I guess I'd say that they understand basic 'rules' of the park (which I don't think exist, actually). Every family has their own rules and I have no problem with other kids climbing up the slides.


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## Dandelionkid (Mar 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *teale* 
I've been to the park twice in the last week. The slide was the main focus of attraction for all the kids.

Most of the mom's were good with warning their bigger kid about the little kids who like to hang out around the bottom of the slide.
Most of the mom's who had smaller kids were good about corralling their child away from the bottom of the slide so the bigger kids could slide.

My DS loves piling rocks on the slide, and at one point there was about 10 kids all working together piling rocks on the slide, then they would clear out of the way and one kid would slide down pushing the rocks out of the way. DS who is 17 months thought this was the best thing in the world. What an amazing, non-traditional way of teaching teamwork, cause and effect, and so many other things! All the kids were working nicely together, and laughing!

Then another mom came over, and yelled at her kids for piling rocks on the slide. She hadn't seen that they were doing an experiment (pile the rocks, someone slides down, watch the rocks go off the slide, repeat), and two of the kids got smacked on the butt. At that point, I watched my DS walk to the edge of the playground and sit down. He looked so defeated, as did many of the other kids. They hadn't been doing anything wrong, everyone was having fun, and no one was feeling left out. Of course though, what they were doing was "wrong" even though, it wasn't wrong at all.

I mean really, who knew climbing a slide could be so controversial? I get not wanting your kids or other kids to get hurt, but to make a statement that slide climbing is rude? Really? These are kids we're talking about! And the thought that playground rules are helping to conform our children? YIKES! I thought playgrounds were for interaction, for fun, and for learning.

I think I am from your city- that makes me so sad!! I'm glad I didn't see that.







I totally agree that the playground be the last place for arbitrary rules.


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

So long as no one is waiting to go down I don't care if my kids climb the slide. and as far as other parents having other rules I really don't care. my kids know that they have some rules that other people don't just as other people have rules they don't. i don't expect anyone to suddenly change their kids behavior just because I have a rule about it. and i won't do it for anyone else either. each family has their own way of doing things. but like I said, i wouldn't let my kid do it if kids were wanting to go down the slide. thats just rude.


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## Steady Mom (May 23, 2009)

We allow climbing up if it isn't crowded so the slide isn't getting much use. But if there are lots of children, I'll ask my three not to do it.

It could be she has different rules b/c of having more children. I know sometimes my three (who are very close in age) will start all trying to climb up the slide at the same time and it just gets out of control and a little dangerous. So sometimes it is just easier for my sanity to make a rule not to do it that day.

I wouldn't let it affect what you are doing with your little one, though. It's a good way to start teaching the idea that different people have different rules.


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## churndash (Mar 25, 2009)

I don't let them climb up. I don't say anything if other parents do; my kids have long since learned that different parents have different rules.

I will say that I have never personally observed the climbing kids get out of the way to make room for sliders or seen or heard a parent encourage them to do so.

In fact, we don't even like going to the playground much anymore because of the loud, rude, kids who are way too old to even be on the equipment and constantly seem to be knocking my kids down. I suppose it's just the luck of the draw. Some playground communities are nicer than others.


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## Cinder (Feb 4, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *limabean* 
Yeah, I can't get on board with that either. In a small playgroup or something it would be nice for all the kids to be aware of each other's abilities and keep their play age-appropriate so as not to exclude anyone, but at the park with strangers, although I would keep my eye out and ask my son to stop doing something if it was truly causing a problem for another mom or her toddler, it's certainly not an expectation I would have of other moms/kids.

I don't actually have that expectation, cause, heck, I don't even have the expectation that mom's at the park will stop their much bigger kids from pushing, hitting, and kicking mine, since it's all happened more than once. I just think it's NICE and considerate to consider that if a toddler followed you they would get hurt and to just not do it, cause you don't want a toddler to get hurt. That's what I try to teach my kids...just to be nice, so that everyone on the playground stays safe.


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## DaughterOfKali (Jul 15, 2007)

I don't let my son climb the slide.


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## confustication (Mar 18, 2006)

I suspect people will have opinions based largely on the sort of area they live in. When dd was smaller, we lived in a much more populated area. It would have been risky and inconsiderate to the other kids to allow slide-climbing the vast majority of the time.

Where we are now, we're unlikely to have anyone else in the PARK, let alone the slide at the same time, I don't worry too much about it. DD knows she has to play by the (widely accepted) rules when there are other kids around, but when she's pretty much on her own or not going to impact the play for other kids, I encourage her to do anything she can think of.


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cinder* 
I don't actually have that expectation, cause, heck, I don't even have the expectation that mom's at the park will stop their much bigger kids from pushing, hitting, and kicking mine, since it's all happened more than once. I just think it's NICE and considerate to consider that if a toddler followed you they would get hurt and to just not do it, cause you don't want a toddler to get hurt. That's what I try to teach my kids...just to be nice, so that everyone on the playground stays safe.

Hmmm ... I don't feel it's at all acceptable for kids to push, hit, or kick one another. And I've yet to meet any other parents who think that's acceptable.

As you can see, I believe in being nice so everyone can stay safe, too. I just don't see why the playground has to be boring for older kids. As I've said, our main reason for going right now is to meet the needs of my 9yo, 'cause my 4yo is pretty content to stay home all the time. It would be such a pity if my 9yo felt she wasn't "nice" unless she confined herself to what was safe for a toddler.


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## GuildJenn (Jan 10, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mammal_mama* 
Hmmm ... I don't feel it's at all acceptable for kids to push, hit, or kick one another. And I've yet to meet any other parents who think that's acceptable.

As you can see, I believe in being nice so everyone can stay safe, too. I just don't see why the playground has to be boring for older kids. As I've said, our main reason for going right now is to meet the needs of my 9yo, 'cause my 4yo is pretty content to stay home all the time. It would be such a pity if my 9yo felt she wasn't "nice" unless she confined herself to what was safe for a toddler.









The more I read in this thread the more I'm starting to understand the so-called obesity epidemic.

We make playgrounds places where you effectively can only play one way (mostly the most passive way, i.e. down the gravity-laden slide, sit on the swing, etc.), and only if you're not encouraging any other little kids to do something they're not ready for, and don't move the dirt or stones around in case you get your clothes dirty... man.

Luckily our local playground hasn't really bought into all these rules... that I notice.







No hitting etc. though either.


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## A&A (Apr 5, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *camracrazy* 
I don't let my kids climb the slide if other people are there that are using the slide. I hate it when my kids are trying to slide down the slide and there are kids climbing up it that won't get off! But if we are alone or there are no kids playing on the slide, it doesn't bother me. It annoys me a lot more when kids pile dirt or rocks on the bottom of the slide.









:


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## chfriend (Aug 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *churndash* 
kids who are way too old to even be on the equipment

I'm curious how old you perceive the children to be.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

There is no way I'm going to tell my 7-year-old to restrict herself to playing in a way that is appropriate for a 2-year-old. That isn't at all reasonable. She's 7. When she was 2, I'd say, "Those kids are much bigger than you are. When you're big, you can play like that too." I had no expectation that the 7-year-olds play like 2-year-olds when we were there. I don't even understand that expectation. Older kids shouldn't be able to have fun at the park too?


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## Hey Mama! (Dec 27, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sewchris2642* 
Climbing up the slide is just rude. It's the same as cutting in front of the line at the bank. The child climbing up the slide is cutting in front of the children who are waiting at the ladder for their turn at the slide.









:

My child loves the tall, twisty slide. Every time we go to the park older kids are climbing up and down it, while she is perched at the top waiting for them to move so she can go down. I think a designated "up" slide is a good idea.


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chfriend* 
I'm curious how old you perceive the children to be.

That's a very good point. If kids are still WANTING to play on the equipment, then they're not too old.

And I have 2 girls who are very tall for their ages, as I always was myself ... to this day I still remember playing in the yard with 2 other friends my age, and a younger neighbor girl was playing with us (we were 9, she was 6, but I was a whole head taller than my friends).

Well, the 6yo ran into the street and almost got hit by a car. And the older lady who had to slam on her breaks, yelled at ME for not keeping a better eye on her. That really hurt. It's so hateful when people make assumptions about kids being a certain age.

And incidentally, mothers often feel a need to climb up on the equipment themselves to stay close to their toddlers. So I think if it's sturdy enough for moms, it's sturdy enough for a child of any age.


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## slingmama4 (Jan 4, 2008)

Just wanted to add that when I was a little girl my brother was climbing up one of the old, metal, Mcdonald slides (ya know with the half cover at the top). He was almost to the top when another kid came sliding down fast and basically took my brother's feet out from beneath him and my brother scalped himself on the top of the metal slide cover....19 stitches and a shaved head. Now, because of that memory, I don't allow my kids to climb the slide. I just think it's unsafe. However, if no one's there and my 2yo wanted to climb it I'd help her, but definitly NOT when others are there playing.


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## Evan&Anna's_Mom (Jun 12, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamazee* 
Older kids shouldn't be able to have fun at the park too?

Older kids shouldn't play at the park in such a way as the endanger other children, especially younger children. If younger child is paying no attention to older child, older child can do whatever (as long as he/she isn't going to directly hurt younger child). If younger child is well supervised by someone pointing out the younger child should not copy older child, older child is OK with whatever. But if younger child is deliberately copying older child and not supervised, or if child is being actively punished for following older child, then I think older child should curb play to avoid harm coming to younger child.

And of course no child should be permitted to deliberately harm, or scare, another child on the playground, regardless of relative ages.


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## Cinder (Feb 4, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mammal_mama* 
Hmmm ... I don't feel it's at all acceptable for kids to push, hit, or kick one another. And I've yet to meet any other parents who think that's acceptable.

As you can see, I believe in being nice so everyone can stay safe, too. I just don't see why the playground has to be boring for older kids. As I've said, our main reason for going right now is to meet the needs of my 9yo, 'cause my 4yo is pretty content to stay home all the time. It would be such a pity if my 9yo felt she wasn't "nice" unless she confined herself to what was safe for a toddler.









But it makes the playground not safe and not fun for the toddler for the bigger kids to do things in sight of said toddler, that to me is not being considerate. But, like I said, if the issue comes up, we just leave...but, because Travis never forgets, we can't come back either, cause he will just keep trying it again the next time we are there. So, it basically ruins the park for the entire summer for us. But I wouldn't say anything to you/your kids, cause it's up to you what you would allow them to do, we would just go home and find something else to do and deal with the other kids being upset over it. I can't explain to him "they are bigger, so they can do xyz, and you can when you are bigger too" cause he is too young to understand any of that.


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## Cinder (Feb 4, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamazee* 
There is no way I'm going to tell my 7-year-old to restrict herself to playing in a way that is appropriate for a 2-year-old. That isn't at all reasonable. She's 7. When she was 2, I'd say, "Those kids are much bigger than you are. When you're big, you can play like that too." I had no expectation that the 7-year-olds play like 2-year-olds when we were there. I don't even understand that expectation. Older kids shouldn't be able to have fun at the park too?

My 6 (nearly 7) year old has plenty of fun at the park doing things that won't harm her brother if he did them as well.


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## spottiew (Jan 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hey Mama!* 







:

My child loves the tall, twisty slide. Every time we go to the park older kids are climbing up and down it, while she is perched at the top waiting for them to move so she can go down. I think a designated "up" slide is a good idea.

maybe this all depends on how busy your park is... we rarely have more than 2-3 kids using a slide- they can work it out so they all get turns. if there was a line of 6 or 10 coming down, i can see that up is a hinderance, but does 1 child going up really cause a problem for 2 going down? they also seem to only do the slide for a bit, then go on to other things, it's not like a 'line' for a slide!


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cinder* 
But it makes the playground not safe and not fun for the toddler for the bigger kids to do things in sight of said toddler, that to me is not being considerate. But, like I said, if the issue comes up, we just leave...but, because Travis never forgets, we can't come back either, cause he will just keep trying it again the next time we are there. So, it basically ruins the park for the entire summer for us. But I wouldn't say anything to you/your kids, cause it's up to you what you would allow them to do, we would just go home and find something else to do and deal with the other kids being upset over it. I can't explain to him "they are bigger, so they can do xyz, and you can when you are bigger too" cause he is too young to understand any of that.

I can understand reminding an older sibling to refrain from doing certain things that his/her younger sibling will want to copy, but trying to solve the situation you've described above is just so far outside the realm of possible that you're just setting yourself up for constant disappointment!

If seeing an older child do something age-appropriate for that older child will ruin the park for the entire summer for your toddler, that's too bad, but how on earth are that older child and his/her parents supposed to predict your arrival at the park, assess your toddler's abilities and potential reaction to watching older kids play in an older-kid way, and adjust their behavior accordingly? It's completely impossible, even for perfectly considerate, kind people to do, and a totally unreasonable expectation.


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## crazydiamond (May 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *churndash* 
I don't let them climb up. I don't say anything if other parents do; my kids have long since learned that different parents have different rules.

I will say that I have never personally observed the climbing kids get out of the way to make room for sliders or seen or heard a parent encourage them to do so.

In fact, we don't even like going to the playground much anymore because of the loud, rude, kids who are way too old to even be on the equipment and constantly seem to be knocking my kids down. I suppose it's just the luck of the draw. Some playground communities are nicer than others.

My experience exactly. My DD is a very quiet and considerate kid. She patiently waits her turn, but the turn never comes. Most of the kids who are rowdy don't have parents nearby and the ones that do, don't object to their kids climbing over and over and blocking the path for the kids wanting to slide down. DD was so defeated when it came to slides that it took her 2 years to try to go down one again.

Older kids on play equipment bothers me because the vast majority of the time, they aren't watching out for the younger children and they are playing way too aggressive. Most of these kids I speak of look like teens and are never there with their parents, so they are at least old enough to be trusted to walk to the park themselves. They do things like roll soccer balls up and down the twisty slides, push empty swings so hard they wrap around the top bar, and jump off the very top structure into the sandbox (where smaller kids are playing).

Many of the parks around here have separate play structures for the smaller kids,with signs indicating they are for up to age 4. They are, honestly, very small and my 4 year old doesn't care for them, just to give you an indication that they are geared to the really young children. I let my DS play on them but it bothers me to no end when the much larger children come over and dominate it, forcing me to remove DS because he'll get hurt. Children who are too big for this structure are definitely capable of using the larger structure, so I see no reason to take over this one from the younger children.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Evan&Anna's_Mom* 
Older kids shouldn't play at the park in such a way as the endanger other children, especially younger children. If younger child is paying no attention to older child, older child can do whatever (as long as he/she isn't going to directly hurt younger child). If younger child is well supervised by someone pointing out the younger child should not copy older child, older child is OK with whatever. But if younger child is deliberately copying older child and not supervised, or if child is being actively punished for following older child, then I think older child should curb play to avoid harm coming to younger child.

And of course no child should be permitted to deliberately harm, or scare, another child on the playground, regardless of relative ages.

No, that isn't what I'm talking about. What's been said in this thread is that older kids should only play in ways that are safe for a 2-year-old to play in case the 2-year-olds want to copy what they do.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cinder* 
My 6 (nearly 7) year old has plenty of fun at the park doing things that won't harm her brother if he did them as well.

My dd plays very safely around young children, but young children would not be able to safely do everything she does. I think that is a ridiculous expectation. The park isn't only for very young children.


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## GuildJenn (Jan 10, 2007)

This thread continues to floor me.

I don't quite understand why older children cannot play in a (reasonably) appropriate way as long as they aren't knocking other kids off or landing on them in the sandbox (that would freak me out). Is there a cut off date for playing now? After 8 you have to stay home in case you convince a toddler to try things? This is SO UNFAIR for older kids I feel actually sick about it. If a 2 year old is at the park all the older kids have to stop playing?

Why can a CHILD - and yes, 9, 10, 11 is a child - not PLAY AT THE PARK. Holy crow.

I have one of those kids who would emulate the older kids too. You know what? He either learned he couldn't do it - or I supervised him. That's my role as a parent.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

Some of the equipment, when used in the only possible way, is even beyond the abilities of 2-year-olds. Should older kids not use the monkey bars or climbing structures because 2-year-olds might try to copy them? I'm really astounded that anyone at all has this expectation of older kids playing only in a way that is safe for very young children to copy.


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamazee* 
There is no way I'm going to tell my 7-year-old to restrict herself to playing in a way that is appropriate for a 2-year-old. That isn't at all reasonable. She's 7. When she was 2, I'd say, "Those kids are much bigger than you are. When you're big, you can play like that too." I had no expectation that the 7-year-olds play like 2-year-olds when we were there. I don't even understand that expectation. Older kids shouldn't be able to have fun at the park too?









: IMO, if your kid is old enough to be interested in and capable of playing on the equipment in any way (even with your supervision), they're old enough to be told "you're to little to do that still, in a couple years" and redirected. 6, 7, 8, 9 yos should not have to play down to a 2 yo level. I think playground safety and manners are important, for SURE, but I would never expect an older kid to stop playing the way they want to just cause my younger kids are there.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Evan&Anna's_Mom* 
Older kids shouldn't play at the park in such a way as the endanger other children, especially younger children. If younger child is paying no attention to older child, older child can do whatever (as long as he/she isn't going to directly hurt younger child). If younger child is well supervised by someone pointing out the younger child should not copy older child, older child is OK with whatever. *But if younger child is deliberately copying older child and not supervised*, or if child is being actively punished for following older child, then I think older child should curb play to avoid harm coming to younger child.

Bolding mine. So a stranger child should have to curb their play because the younger kid's PARENT isn't PARENTING them? Wow.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cinder* 
I can't explain to him "they are bigger, so they can do xyz, and you can when you are bigger too" cause he is too young to understand any of that.

As I said above, IMO if he's old and able enough to be climbing, he's old enough to be told he cant' do things that older kids are doing - he might not *like* it, and might not totally get it, but that's part of parenting, redirecting to appropriate behaviors despite what others around may be doing. My daughter was climbing regular sized kid sets at 18 months, and I would consistently stop her from going above her skill level (like trying to climb those cloverleaf climbers and jump onto the set from it at the top). She was not pleased, and often let me know it LOUDLY, but my job is to keep her safe and teach her, not to prevent her from ever being unhappy







:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *limabean* 
If seeing an older child do something age-appropriate for that older child will ruin the park for the entire summer for your toddler, that's too bad, but how on earth are that older child and his/her parents supposed to predict your arrival at the park, assess your toddler's abilities and potential reaction to watching older kids play in an older-kid way, and adjust their behavior accordingly? It's completely impossible, even for perfectly considerate, kind people to do, and a totally unreasonable expectation.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *GuildJenn* 
This thread continues to floor me.

I don't quite understand why older children cannot play in a (reasonably) appropriate way as long as they aren't knocking other kids off or landing on them in the sandbox (that would freak me out). Is there a cut off date for playing now? After 8 you have to stay home in case you convince a toddler to try things? This is SO UNFAIR for older kids I feel actually sick about it. If a 2 year old is at the park all the older kids have to stop playing?

Why can a CHILD - and yes, 9, 10, 11 is a child - not PLAY AT THE PARK. Holy crow.

I have one of those kids who would emulate the older kids too. You know what? He either learned he couldn't do it - or I supervised him. That's my role as a parent.

And Word, to the last 2 posts above. I'm floored too. And here I was in the minority on the "screaming at the playground" thread, funny I'm on the "let them do what they want" on this thread.







:


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## churndash (Mar 25, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chfriend* 
I'm curious how old you perceive the children to be.

Twelve and thirteen year olds. And it's not perception, since I know them from around the neighborhood and know how old they are. They are not even playing, the girls just sit at the top of the play structure and listen to their ipods and glare at any small children than come near them.

The boys wrestle with each other and throw footballs through the various openings where the slides and climbers are.

And of course there's the swearing and inappropriate language.

I really hate our playground, actually.


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## Hey Mama! (Dec 27, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *spottiew* 
maybe this all depends on how busy your park is... we rarely have more than 2-3 kids using a slide- they can work it out so they all get turns. if there was a line of 6 or 10 coming down, i can see that up is a hinderance, but does 1 child going up really cause a problem for 2 going down? they also seem to only do the slide for a bit, then go on to other things, it's not like a 'line' for a slide!

There have always been more then just 2-3 kids on this slide. There is a line of kids hanging onto the stairs waiting for the kids climbing up to get off. This park is across the street from a housing dev in a small town so there are unattended kids there all the time when the weather is nice and school is out.


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## Hey Mama! (Dec 27, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *churndash* 
Twelve and thirteen year olds. And it's not perception, since I know them from around the neighborhood and know how old they are. They are not even playing, the girls just sit at the top of the play structure and listen to their ipods and glare at any small children than come near them.

The boys wrestle with each other and throw footballs through the various openings where the slides and climbers are.

And of course there's the swearing and inappropriate language.

I really hate our playground, actually.

Oh yes, the we have a park like this in our town-don't forget the grafitti and inappropriate lang written all over the play structure.


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## Cinder (Feb 4, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *limabean* 
I can understand reminding an older sibling to refrain from doing certain things that his/her younger sibling will want to copy, but trying to solve the situation you've described above is just so far outside the realm of possible that you're just setting yourself up for constant disappointment!

If seeing an older child do something age-appropriate for that older child will ruin the park for the entire summer for your toddler, that's too bad, but how on earth are that older child and his/her parents supposed to predict your arrival at the park, assess your toddler's abilities and potential reaction to watching older kids play in an older-kid way, and adjust their behavior accordingly? It's completely impossible, even for perfectly considerate, kind people to do, and a totally unreasonable expectation.

It's just been a rule in our household, even before it was an issue for us personally, that if younger kids are present, you don't do something that the younger kid couldn't do without getting hurt. It was a rule in my house growing up too, and I'm just shocked other parents don't have similar rules... Seriously, getting rocks thrown at him, pushed down, and hit are actually LESS dangerous and less devastating for my toddler than him trying to follow what a 7 year old is doing and me not letting him... Luckily, at our park, things like climbing on equipment, jumping off equipment, etc are against the posted rules....and in the mall play area, there is a height limit, that even my small 6 year old is nearly too big for, so it's not an issue there either.


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## Cinder (Feb 4, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamazee* 
Some of the equipment, when used in the only possible way, is even beyond the abilities of 2-year-olds. Should older kids not use the monkey bars or climbing structures because 2-year-olds might try to copy them? I'm really astounded that anyone at all has this expectation of older kids playing only in a way that is safe for very young children to copy.

maybe this is the difference our park does not have any equipment that isn't toddler friendly, no monkey bars or anything like that...it's very much designed for small kids. For what it's worth, it hasn't even been an issue, it wasn't until this thread that I learned other parents don't make there kids be aware and considerate of young kids trying to copy them!


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## Cinder (Feb 4, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *The4OfUs* 
:
As I said above, IMO if he's old and able enough to be climbing, he's old enough to be told he cant' do things that older kids are doing - he might not *like* it, and might not totally get it, but that's part of parenting, redirecting to appropriate behaviors despite what others around may be doing. My daughter was climbing regular sized kid sets at 18 months, and I would consistently stop her from going above her skill level (like trying to climb those cloverleaf climbers and jump onto the set from it at the top). She was not pleased, and often let me know it LOUDLY, but my job is to keep her safe and teach her, not to prevent her from ever being unhappy







:

And that's exactly what I said I would do, except, for us, re-directing will mean actually leaving the park and not coming back for the rest of the summer, cause why would I bring a 20 month old to the park who would spend the whole time having a fit? And I said it's not an expectation, cause more so than things like this, I have kids who smack, hit, kick, and push my kids, and parents who don't care, so I don't really have any expectations for how kids will play at the park, I just think it is nice and considerate and it's what I teach my kids to do for that reason.

And I do supervise him, obviously, but I also have an autistic 5 year old who needs watched constantly as well, and a baby, plus a 6 year old, so it's not safe to be constantly spotting the toddler.


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## delicious (Jun 16, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Evan&Anna's_Mom* 
Older kids shouldn't play at the park in such a way as the endanger other children, especially younger children. If younger child is paying no attention to older child, older child can do whatever (as long as he/she isn't going to directly hurt younger child). If younger child is well supervised by someone pointing out the younger child should not copy older child, older child is OK with whatever. But if younger child is deliberately copying older child and not supervised, or if child is being actively punished for following older child, then I think older child should curb play to avoid harm coming to younger child.

And of course no child should be permitted to deliberately harm, or scare, another child on the playground, regardless of relative ages.

thats nuts! do you only have really little kids? the bigger kids @ the park are not responsible for littler kids wanting to do whatever they do, or whatever. curbing their play? man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GuildJenn* 
This thread continues to floor me.

I don't quite understand why older children cannot play in a (reasonably) appropriate way as long as they aren't knocking other kids off or landing on them in the sandbox (that would freak me out). Is there a cut off date for playing now? After 8 you have to stay home in case you convince a toddler to try things? This is SO UNFAIR for older kids I feel actually sick about it. If a 2 year old is at the park all the older kids have to stop playing?

Why can a CHILD - and yes, 9, 10, 11 is a child - not PLAY AT THE PARK. Holy crow.

I have one of those kids who would emulate the older kids too. You know what? He either learned he couldn't do it - or I supervised him. That's my role as a parent.

ITA with this.

our park that we always walk to is right next to a high school, so there are approx 1,000 high school kids there at lunch every day. sometimes they get on the merry go round and go way too fast. ykwhat? i told my kids to just stay off it when they are on there. to wait their turn. imagine that.

i really don't believe in an age limit on the playground either. it's a public park and there for everyone/anyone to enjoy!


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## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

The only times I've been at the park and seen young teens behaving inappropriately, I've told them to knock it off. Sometimes it takes a time or two, and then they either start acting appropriately, or they grumble under their breaths about what a b!tch I am and leave. Most of the time I've seen older kids there, though, they've been using the equipment like any other kids - swinging or sliding or sitting on the eqipment in a way that doesn't block it.

Cinder, I'm not sure why you think you wouldn't be able to go back to the park for a whole summer if your child got frustrated one time. You go, redirect, and leave when it becomes a meltdown. That might be frustrating, but how else is he going to learn? That said, it sounds like your particular set of kids might be too much to handle right now at the park without another adult.


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## GuildJenn (Jan 10, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cinder* 
It's just been a rule in our household, even before it was an issue for us personally, that if younger kids are present, you don't do something that the younger kid couldn't do without getting hurt. It was a rule in my house growing up too, and I'm just shocked other parents don't have similar rules... Seriously, getting rocks thrown at him, pushed down, and hit are actually LESS dangerous and less devastating for my toddler than him trying to follow what a 7 year old is doing and me not letting him... Luckily, at our park, things like climbing on equipment, jumping off equipment, etc are against the posted rules....and in the mall play area, there is a height limit, that even my small 6 year old is nearly too big for, so it's not an issue there either.

That's awful. I feel so sad for you growing up.


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cinder* 
And I do supervise him, obviously, but I also have an autistic 5 year old who needs watched constantly as well, and a baby, plus a 6 year old, so it's not safe to be constantly spotting the toddler.









So you basically have 3 kids who need very close hands-on supervision right now. I think you're very brave to go to the park at all.

Back when we went through a phase where my younger dd was being very aggresssive, and was also doing wild things like trying to run into the street -- even supervising JUST HER around other kids, and outside of our fenced yard, felt like too much for a while.

So we stayed home most of the time, arranged a lot for friends to come over and play with my oldest, and we also went out in the yard where I could watch Little One in our yard with the gate closed, while our oldest played with other kids up and down the street where I could see her.

And dh would periodically take our oldest to the park and on other outings on the weekends. We got through it. Our youngest is now 4, gets along pretty well with other kids, and also is pretty aware of safety issues now.

Your little ones will get older, too. I understand you feel very constricted right now, and that this may be why you feel it should be no big deal for older kids to just always stop whatever fun stuff they're doing, whenever there happens to be a toddler at the park who's following them.

But someday when your kdis are all a bit older, you'll probably realize (as I have) what a short phase toddlerhood really is, compared to all the years of childhood. It just makes more sense for parents of toddlers to step up the supervision while the toddlers need it, than it does for the whole world to confine itself to toddler-appropriate activities.


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## spottiew (Jan 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hey Mama!* 
There have always been more then just 2-3 kids on this slide. There is a line of kids hanging onto the stairs waiting for the kids climbing up to get off. This park is across the street from a housing dev in a small town so there are unattended kids there all the time when the weather is nice and school is out.

if there was that line, i doubt my kid would wait at all! he would find something else, or leave- he doesn't do crowds.

He's pretty good at figuring out too what he can and can't do. I mean, he tries to swing between rings, and can't reach, so there you go- he just can't do it yet. He only tried to step over a large gap once and fell through. It's funny, cause he's a daredevil at home and other places, but he seems to just 'get' how park equip works.


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eclipse* 
Cinder, I'm not sure why you think you wouldn't be able to go back to the park for a whole summer if your child got frustrated one time. You go, redirect, and leave when it becomes a meltdown. That might be frustrating, but how else is he going to learn? That said, it sounds like your particular set of kids might be too much to handle right now at the park without another adult.









:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mammal_mama* 

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cinder* 
And I do supervise him, obviously, but I also have an autistic 5 year old who needs watched constantly as well, and a baby, plus a 6 year old, so it's not safe to be constantly spotting the toddler.









So you basically have 3 kids who need very close hands-on supervision right now. I think you're very brave to go to the park at all.

<snip>
I understand you feel very constricted right now, and that this may be why you feel it should be no big deal for older kids to just always stop whatever fun stuff they're doing, whenever there happens to be a toddler at the park who's following them.

But someday when your kdis are all a bit older, you'll probably realize (as I have) what a short phase toddlerhood really is, compared to all the years of childhood. It just makes more sense for parents of toddlers to step up the supervision while the toddlers need it, than it does for the whole world to confine itself to toddler-appropriate activities.

and







: again. Cinder, you are brave to attempt a playground with 4 kids between baby and 6...I have my hands full with just a 3yo and 5yo...I still can't imagine though wanting older kids to 'baby down' their play for my kids.

And to the PP who was talking about 12 and 13 yos playing with balls and unsafely/dangerously, I think that's in a different category than most of us are talking about when we mean "older"...or at least I am. "Older" at the playground to me means about 8-10 yrs old. The inappropriate behavior the PP was talking about with almost teenagers is really unfortunate, and would be inappropriate anywhere, let alone a playground.


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## Cinder (Feb 4, 2003)

I really think the issue here is way different types of playgrounds. The playground I bring my kids to has no equipment that isn't designed for kids 18 months to 5 years old or so, an average sized kid over 7 would have no fun, they wouldn't be able to swing cause their feet would drag on the ground, the slides are really short, etc.


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

LOL, my very tall 9yo solves the foot-draging problem by climbing on top of the swingset and bringing her swing up higher. When she's done she'll gladly climb up and bring it back down for a smaller child wanting to swing.


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## tonimk19 (Feb 7, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *camracrazy* 
I don't let my kids climb the slide if other people are there that are using the slide. I hate it when my kids are trying to slide down the slide and there are kids climbing up it that won't get off! But if we are alone or there are no kids playing on the slide, it doesn't bother me. It annoys me a lot more when kids pile dirt or rocks on the bottom of the slide.

I agree 100%. DD climbs the slide and I help her if she asks. Though if someone's ready to come down or wants to use the slide, DD knows she must be safe and move out of the way (and to be courteous to others).

Though I agree it's a bummer to hear kids being yelled at to go down the slide the correct way when you know your child just climbed up it. Though I know in elementary school we coudl only go down the slide, not up. It's the same way with swinging on your belly. Not everyone follows the same rules.


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cinder* 
I really think the issue here is way different types of playgrounds. The playground I bring my kids to has no equipment that isn't designed for kids 18 months to 5 years old or so, an average sized kid over 7 would have no fun, they wouldn't be able to swing cause their feet would drag on the ground, the slides are really short, etc.

That could be true...we're got a few different types of playgrounds around here - some are toddler dedicated, and I rarely see older kids on them...others hav eboth toddler and bigger kid sets at the same playground, and the bigger kids rarely seem to want to go on the toddler ones, for exactly the reason you mention (though if nothing else was available I would expect that bigger kids would want to play on toddler stuff just to play, and I'd hardly be able to fault them, really)....I would note that both my 3yo and 5yo haven't wanted anything to do with the toddler equipment for a year now, when we go to our playgrounds that have both toddler and "big kid" sets. They're constantly on the 5-12 set, even if the smaller sets are available. Consequently, I always tell them that if they want to be on there, they have to watch out for bigger kids, since they're on the 'big kid' stuff, KWIM?


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## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

My 8 yo solves it by standing and swinging


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## Evan&Anna's_Mom (Jun 12, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *delicious* 
thats nuts! do you only have really little kids? the bigger kids @ the park are not responsible for littler kids wanting to do whatever they do, or whatever. curbing their play? man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Actually, no. I have a 6 and a 9 YO who I expect to be courteous and aware of how their actions influence others. In the playground, especially how their actions impact younger children. I am trying, very hard, to make sure that my kids do NOT become the young teens who are disturbing others as described in other threads.


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## Hoopin' Mama (Sep 9, 2004)

I am COMPLETELY floored by the idea that older kids shouldn't do something that a 2yo can't do (within reason of course). A lot of our playgrounds have public pools. Imagine applying that rule? No one would be swimming.

Now, if an older child is engaging in an activity that could hurt the little ones, I would have no problems saying "please throw your ball away from where the little ones are playing", or whatever. But to think they should curb their play so little ones don't copy them? No way. It is the caregivers responsibility to supervise and redirect their child.

I let ds climb up the slide if it is not crowded. It it is I ask him not to so that no one gets hurt.

My peeve is the kids who pile sand on the slide then walk away.


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## Hoopin' Mama (Sep 9, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *churndash* 
Twelve and thirteen year olds. And it's not perception, since I know them from around the neighborhood and know how old they are. They are not even playing, the girls just sit at the top of the play structure and listen to their ipods and glare at any small children than come near them.

The boys wrestle with each other and throw footballs through the various openings where the slides and climbers are.

And of course there's the swearing and inappropriate language.

I really hate our playground, actually.

I've never encountered this.
I wouldn't hesitate to nicely tell them to watch their language around the little ones or throw their balls the opposite way. You're the adult, you're allowed to watch out for the safety of the smaller children.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *churndash* 
Twelve and thirteen year olds. And it's not perception, since I know them from around the neighborhood and know how old they are. They are not even playing, the girls just sit at the top of the play structure and listen to their ipods and glare at any small children than come near them.

The boys wrestle with each other and throw footballs through the various openings where the slides and climbers are.

And of course there's the swearing and inappropriate language.

I really hate our playground, actually.

That doesn't mean they're too old to be at the playground. It means they're rude and inconsiderate, and that can happen at any age. There was a boy of about 8 or 9 at the water park when we were there last year, and he was ruining things for _everybody_ - spraying little kids, spraying parents, butting in lines, etc. etc. As far as I could tell, he had no parent with him, and was completely unsupervised...and rude and inconsiderate and a bit of a bully. And, you know what? My then 15 year old son, and 13 year old nephew were both there, too...and neither one of them was acting like that, in the slightest. The other boy wasn't "too old" to be at a water park - he was too rude.

DS1 is 16. He still hangs out at the playground. Some of the equipment is great for him to work out and practice gymnastics and maintain his upper body strength. No - he doesn't always use it the same way the younger kids do...but he didn't when he was 8 or 9, either. He's not "too old" to be at a playground...and he's not too inconsiderate, either. He always watches out for younger kids.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cinder* 
I really think the issue here is way different types of playgrounds. The playground I bring my kids to has no equipment that isn't designed for kids 18 months to 5 years old or so, an average sized kid over 7 would have no fun, they wouldn't be able to swing cause their feet would drag on the ground, the slides are really short, etc.

I've honestly never seen a playground like that - sections of a larger playground, but not a whole playground.


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## Evan&Anna's_Mom (Jun 12, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hoopin' Mama* 
I am COMPLETELY floored by the idea that older kids shouldn't do something that a 2yo can't do (within reason of course). A lot of our playgrounds have public pools. Imagine applying that rule? No one would be swimming.

See, I'm not sure that anyone every said "never do something a 2 YO can't do. What I've been saying is "don't do something a 2 YO can't do IF that 2 YO is intent on copying you." To me, this is the same thing as not flaunting a cocktail to someone you know is in the beginning stages of recovery. Or saying "Yummm.... chocolate cake" to someone who is struggling to lose 50 pounds. Now, I might still eat the cake, but I wouldn't call attention to it. And if I knew that my actions would tempt someone else into doing something harmful, then I wouldn't do it in front of them.


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Evan&Anna's_Mom* 
Actually, no. I have a 6 and a 9 YO who I expect to be courteous and aware of how their actions influence others. In the playground, especially how their actions impact younger children. I am trying, very hard, to make sure that my kids do NOT become the young teens who are disturbing others as described in other threads.

Age appropriate, more physical play for older kids is not inherently rude, or disrespectful, or disturbing. It's apples and oranges. As Storm Bride wrote, rude is rude no matter the age. An older kid climbing a cloverleaf and jumping over onto a platform, or sliding down a fireman pole may be out of a 2-yo's skill set, but isn't rude or dangerous or disrespectful...yet you're saying they shouldn't do that because the 2yo might want to copy them? That seems to be the message a couple posters on thread are sending.

I don't think anyone here is advocating older kids running around with sticks whacking kids, throwing rocks, shoving or screaming or cursing. I think we're just taking exception to older kids 'babying down' their play on the off chance an unsupervised (and/or persistent) toddler might try to copy them.


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hoopin' Mama* 
My peeve is the kids who pile sand on the slide then walk away.

Really? I never thought of doing stuff like that as harmful to anyone. The next kids who slides down just knocks it all off, right?


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Evan&Anna's_Mom* 
See, I'm not sure that anyone every said "never do something a 2 YO can't do. What I've been saying is "don't do something a 2 YO can't do IF that 2 YO is intent on copying you." To me, this is the same thing as not flaunting a cocktail to someone you know is in the beginning stages of recovery. Or saying "Yummm.... chocolate cake" to someone who is struggling to lose 50 pounds. Now, I might still eat the cake, but I wouldn't call attention to it. And if I knew that my actions would tempt someone else into doing something harmful, then I wouldn't do it in front of them.

Okay, so I can agree that it would be mean for an older child to intentionally "flaunt" her skills by saying to a 2yo -- "Gee, don't you wish YOU could jump from this height like I can? I'm big and you're little, nanananana!"

But to say it's FLAUNTING for an older child to simply play in a way that's fun for her, anytime there's a toddler who wants to be just like the older kids -- this seems unfair to the older child.

While it would be flaunting for a skinny person to say to an overweight person, "Yum, chocolate cake -- and don't you wish you could stuff your face like me and still be skinny?" -- it's not flaunting to just have a peice of cake, you know?

There will always be someone on a diet forgoing cake. If it's too upsetting to them to see others having desserts, they can surely forego the restaurant or potluck dinner and meet up with their friends later. Not expect everyone else to give up cake just 'cause they're not having any.


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## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

I guess my thing is. . .even when using the equipment "properly" (as intended), some kids are going to be able to do it and some won't be ready yet. Someone mentioned a fireman style pole, and that's a great example. My oldest was about two when he mastered the pole, but IME, most toddlers can't do it safely on their own. My DD is almost 6 and she can't do it (although, to be fair, that's more timidness than lack of physical ability, though she is a bit on the clumsy side!) and neither can my 3 year 8 month old. But should the older or more physically capable kids not use it?


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## Cinder (Feb 4, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *The4OfUs* 
Age appropriate, more physical play for older kids is not inherently rude, or disrespectful, or disturbing. It's apples and oranges. As Storm Bride wrote, rude is rude no matter the age. An older kid climbing a cloverleaf and jumping over onto a platform, or sliding down a fireman pole may be out of a 2-yo's skill set, but isn't rude or dangerous or disrespectful...yet you're saying they shouldn't do that because the 2yo might want to copy them? That seems to be the message a couple posters on thread are sending.

I don't think anyone here is advocating older kids running around with sticks whacking kids, throwing rocks, shoving or screaming or cursing. I think we're just taking exception to older kids 'babying down' their play on the off chance an unsupervised (and/or persistent) toddler might try to copy them.

All the things I don't want kids doing in front of my kid are actually against the posted rules of the playground. Climbing on top of the play structure, jumping off the play structures, that sort of thing. Using any equipment, including fire poles, monkey bars, climbing walls, etc appropriately I wouldn't even bat an eye at (I'd also let Travis try all those things for what it's worth...).


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## confustication (Mar 18, 2006)

IMO, if your kid is small enough to need you to tell them what they can and can not try to do, they are small enough that you need to be constantly supervising them so they CAN'T do something risky. The older kids should have to tone down their play to make life easier for parents of younger kids. Barring violence or truly dangerous play (knocking over little kids etc) they have as much right to play as the younger set has... even at 12 and 13- they ae still children.

We moan and complain about kids not getting enough exercise, but we try to tell them how to play and dictate their every action?

There are things at our playground that have long been beyond dd's abilities, though some of her friends were perfectly capable of doing them ages ago. Instead of asking her friends not to do them, I sometimes let dd try, and fall (when it wasn't truly dangerous.) If we don't let kids test their limits, how will they learn to challege them and strive to do more than we expect them to do?

It really will be ok if your 3 year old tries to follow the bigger kid and falls- just make sure you're there to catch them. That's part of being a parent. You go the extra mile to ensure your child's safety, you don't expect the world to cater to your level of comfort and the capabilities of your child. Get off the park bench, and play WITH the child as they test their limits.


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## Hoopin' Mama (Sep 9, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mammal_mama* 
Really? I never thought of doing stuff like that as harmful to anyone. The next kids who slides down just knocks it all off, right?

Hmmmm.....maybe it just annoys me, maybe the kids don't mind. Although my son will ask me do wipe it off if he's at the top. It is an older steep metal slide the kids fly down and it probably impedes the impact of the landing.

I dunno, if my kiddo covered a swing seat with sand I'd probably ask him to wipe it off before he walks away from it.


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## ishyfishie (Dec 20, 2006)

Taking my toddler (21 months) to the playground always feels like more exercise for me than her.







She's very physically capable in many ways, but that doesn't mean it's not my job to make sure she's safe. She loves older kids and of course she wants to do what they're doing a lot of the time...and yes, she gets upset and let's me know she doesn't approve of me telling her she's not big enough to do certain things...but I would never even consider forcing older kids to tone down their own play because she might want to copy them. If it becomes a problem, it's *my* problem and we either redirect to other things or leave.


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## churndash (Mar 25, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hoopin' Mama* 
I've never encountered this.
I wouldn't hesitate to nicely tell them to watch their language around the little ones or throw their balls the opposite way. You're the adult, you're allowed to watch out for the safety of the smaller children.

A generation ago, you could do that. These days, parents flip out if another adult so much as looks at their child, much less speaks to them, much less tells them to stop doing something.

Once, when my son was small, a couple of older boys thought it would be funny to purposely splash him with their cans of soda. I told them to cut it out and one of the boys' mothers came charging over to me ENRAGED, screaming at me that I was never to speak to her son like that and if I had a problem with his behavior I should come to her. I tried to explain what happened but she got in my face, and I seriously thought she was going to punch me.

Some of these 13 year olds are taller and bigger than me - nope, I'm not going to risk me or my kids getting beat up by an 8th grader.

I'd rather just stay home and play in my own yard with my own swingset and slide than deal with obnoxious teens and preteens and their equally obnoxious parents.

I suppose that's letting the rude people win, but I pick my battles, and that's not one I'm going to pick.


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## Hoopin' Mama (Sep 9, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *churndash* 
A generation ago, you could do that. These days, parents flip out if another adult so much as looks at their child, much less speaks to them, much less tells them to stop doing something.

Once, when my son was small, a couple of older boys thought it would be funny to purposely splash him with their cans of soda. I told them to cut it out and one of the boys' mothers came charging over to me ENRAGED, screaming at me that I was never to speak to her son like that and if I had a problem with his behavior I should come to her. I tried to explain what happened but she got in my face, and I seriously thought she was going to punch me.

Some of these 13 year olds are taller and bigger than me - nope, I'm not going to risk me or my kids getting beat up by an 8th grader.

I'd rather just stay home and play in my own yard with my own swingset and slide than deal with obnoxious teens and preteens and their equally obnoxious parents.

I suppose that's letting the rude people win, but I pick my battles, and that's not one I'm going to pick.

That is really unfortunate. I don't think it's like that here. I wonder if there is a park somewhere else in your town that is more fun? Although, with 3 kids that could be more trouble than it's worth. I purposely drive a little further to get to the park that is our favorite hang out. The one closes to me doesn't have as many people that are open to chit-chatting.


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cinder* 
All the things I don't want kids doing in front of my kid are actually against the posted rules of the playground. Climbing on top of the play structure, jumping off the play structures, that sort of thing. Using any equipment, including fire poles, monkey bars, climbing walls, etc appropriately I wouldn't even bat an eye at (I'd also let Travis try all those things for what it's worth...).

I don't think there are any rules posted on any of the local playgrounds, but now I'm goign ot have to keep an eye out and check it out.

I will say this: Older kids climbing on top of enclosed slides, or on top of equipment makes me *nervous*, but I don't think they should not do it just cause my kid might want to follow them and do it too - I just tell my kids they're too little and it's not OK with me for them to do that, and that's about the end of it.







I don't take it as an affront to playground etiquette or anything. As others have said, the only things that bother me are when kids are rude, aggressive, or violent. I don't categorize daredevil stunts at playgrounds as any of those 3 things; they remind me of that MTV show Jackass...dumb to do and make me cringe, but kind of entertaining to watch.

Oh man, I just remembered one time there was a kid, probaly 10 or 11, who went to the super tall corkscrew slide (had to be 20 feet up easy), went out the side of it to one of the support poles and slid down it like a fireman (and I nearly had a coronary watching him)....DS looked at me with wide eyes, and I said to him, "Not for as long as I'm the one bringing you to playgrounds." and he did an "aw, shucks" and then went on his merry way playing, and did NOT attempt it when he used the same slide a few minutes later.


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## One_Girl (Feb 8, 2008)

I don't make dd change for other people in a public area. If we were on a play date with an good friend I may ask her to before meeting them, but we go to the park to have fun. I do insist that she watch for kids coming down and not go up if someone wants to go down. Other than that I am fine with her climbing the slide. I think it is a perfectly safe thing to do, as long as kids aren't running up the slide. My dd's PE teacher had them doing that as part of an outdoor obstacle course.


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## Mandynee22 (Nov 20, 2006)

As long as no one wants to go DOWN the slide then I think going up is fine. It's a playground. You're supposed to play and use your imagination and be free. As long as no one is hurting other people and they aren't holding up kids who want to slide down then go for it.


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## Awaken (Oct 10, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mandynee22* 
As long as no one wants to go DOWN the slide then I think going up is fine. It's a playground. You're supposed to play and use your imagination and be free. As long as no one is hurting other people and they aren't holding up kids who want to slide down then go for it.

I'm so glad to see this thread. I run into this ALL the time. I agree with the above poster. As long as someone isn't trying to get down, I see nothing wrong with it. I love to see them use equipment in creative ways.

They also have lots of fun loading mulch onto the end of the slide, they pretend all sorts of things- catching fish, cooking in a restaurant, etc. Of course it's understood it will get knocked off when someone goes down the slide, and that takes priority!

It makes me so sad when parents spend the whole time yelling at their kids arbitrary rules. For instance, at my son's preschool playground, a dad was flipping out and yelling at his 5 yo for pushing a swing with no one in it- no one else was near it, and no one else was trying to be on the swing. She wasn't hurting anyone, and he created this big scene for apparently no reason (and this same guy does this almost every time I see him)









I can't wait to find the "parenting other people's children" thread- I was just about to post a big rant about that very thing.


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## calidarling (Jul 14, 2006)

We go by the whoever was there first goes first, it doesn't matter if they were going up the slide or down.

I find that my child gets a lot more out of a slide by climbing up it then sliding down it.


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