# My son is afraid to poop--at all! HELP ME!!!! (a bit graphic)



## mother4good (Mar 16, 2003)

I am expecting in June. DS2 just turned 3. I decided not to even suggest the potty until warm weather hits and we can go w/o pants for a week or so. I figured he would just figure it out on his own then. (he went for a few weeks where he peed there all the time, then got bored with it) Well, he has been sort of inching towards the potty again, so we were more observing than teaching. Then about 2 months ago we noticed alot of "skidmarks" in his dipe. Long story short, we figured out it was becasue he sqeezes his butt to keep the poop from coming out when the time comes! Sometimes he is pretty successful (skidmark days) and other days not (screaming, freaking out days). So I started sitting with him and singing and reading, etc while he was on the potty so it would just sort of happen. At first this worked, but it began to take longer and longer. Problem is, now he TOTALLY freaks out when the urge hits! He often tries to hold it in with his hands (BIG MESS!). He will even hold it in if he is on the potty, BTW! I started him on Fiber Choice tabs since he hates most of the great fiber foods, although I feed him those every chance I get. I was afraid he was constipated. He isn't. The fiber seems to help a little in that it speeds things up, but still the panic.

These episodes in the bathroom are getting longer and longer. Yesterday we almost hit the 3 hour mark! My hormones are already raging, which is why I didn't even want to do this now! My husband is about to declare me insane, I think. (OK, I'll admit, I cried when he pooped on my kitchen floor after 3 hours in the bathroom! But I sure felt batter afterwards!)

Has anyone heard of this or delt with it? I think we are going to go to the doc. I don't know what else to do. My mother suggested that when we see him struggling to give him a pediatric suppository so it will come out fast and limit the amount of time we have to go through this. She said she did it with my brother and it maybe only took 2-3 times and he was over the whole thing and went on his own. I think all the drama makes it even scarier, so I am planning to try this. Any other ideas? He is really making himself miserable with the belly aches!

Oh! and PS. I know it sounds awful, like I am a drill sargeant making him sit on the toilet that long. I didn't. He kept getting off then screaming because he felt it coming. We alternated between bathtub and potty...trying anything. I have tried to be Mary Poppins through this whole ordeal, since I was pretty stressed out when DS1 trained. I thought I had a better way. But this is almost worse, since my son is terrified by the idea. I even begged him to go in the diaper and he screams and sniffs out: "I don't want to poop!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Do I need to get tough? Is it going to get worse if we don't get over it before the baby gets here?Help!


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## Kerlowyn (Mar 15, 2002)

Link to info

We went through something like this with my older DS between the ages of 5-7.

It defiantly can be taken care of by diet and a potty strategy!

Hang in there momma, it will get better!!!


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## mother4good (Mar 16, 2003)

Thank you. This sounds very similar to my son. Especially the milk and bananas. I try to give him lots of fiber in his diet (I have even been sneaking wheat germ into meatballs and breakfast muffins). The times I have had to clean up the mess, I didn't think it was that firm, but come to think of it, I can't say I have much to compare it to except for diaper doo doo. I guess in the adult world, you just KNOW if you are constipated! Ya know.

Sorry this is is such an odd topic to discuss, but after a few months of this, I didn't know where else to turn. Thanks for the link. We will beging to work on it more and see if it helps.


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## peacefulmom (Jul 20, 2002)

okay







this sounds so much like what we are going through..i am in need of the same answers...my dd is 2.5 and will not go poop...she will stand crossed legged and hold it in i am wipping her but 100 times a day..and she will check her poo with her hands ttoo ...she will not sit on the potty she starts crying...i have no answers but if you go to the dr lets me know what he says please







: good luck mamma


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## toraji (Apr 3, 2003)

We went through this for a little bit...dd seemed scared to poop, like it hurt. It got worse when I started stressing about it. So after I relaxed, just kept a diaper on her, and told her that it was okay to go whenever she needed to, and that letting it out would probably make her feel better, after a while she finally relaxed about it enough to let it out. I had basically been feeding into her fear by stressing out about it!

I've heard some mamas give their babies pear juice to help things along. I would also give probiotic yogurt or kefir to keep the gut healthy. Check out goodpapa's thread in Health and Healing ("Get Cultured!" or "The Power of Probiotics") for probiotic recommendations and info on how to make probiotic yogurt.

Good luck!


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## mother4good (Mar 16, 2003)

I read the link posted by Kerlowyn. It describes Joshua to a T. Especially his diet. He is very picky and eats only one really healthy meal per day. Our doc has said not to worry about his nutrition, so we give him a multi and offer lots of variety--just in case! He loves milk, yogurt and cheese...and bananas. All of these are listed in the article! This afternoon, after snack, I tried the pediatric suppository. He did really well with it since I let him watch TV while it was in. The directions said 15 minutes. Well, we didn't even make it to 5 minutes and he wanted to go to the potty. He cried for about 1-2 minutes once there--trying to hold it. I just kept talking to him. He said it hurt, but I told him he would feel better if he pushed it out. When he did, it was lightning fast and VERY high volume. It is no wonder his tummy hurts, with that much inside! The article says to encourage daily habits and I think that might be the key. Today's event encouraged me so much! My husband and I both read the article and both think it is exactly what we are dealing with. The suppository really made the whole thing much less traumatic. Now, I just have to get his fiber level high enough that I do not need to use those again. We are both determined. Even Joshua said he felt better after today's potty time. That is something he has never said!

Thanks for all your help! I am, as always, sooo glad I asked!


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