# What Does AP Stand For?



## cynthia mosher (Aug 20, 1999)

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What does AP stand for...

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Author Topic: What does AP stand for...
AlesisMom
Junior Member posted 07-16-2001 12:10 AM
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I understand that AP is against strong punisment... but what exactly does it mean and what does it incorporate??

Peggy
unregistered posted 07-16-2001 05:03 AM
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I think AP means different things for different people. For me it is parenting by instinct. It is extended breastfeeding, wearing my baby in a sling or carrier, co-sleeping, gentle discipline. It is also for me, gentle birth, whether that is at home, at a birthing center, or in a hospital. It is questioning the status quo when it comes to medical interventions ie; vaccinations, anti-biotics etc.
It is a style of parenting that is very child centered. Some would say it makes our babies needy and dependent. But I have found that the opposite is true. Our children are so secure and confident they become more independent than some of "mainstream" peers.
This is just a little bit of it. There is so much more to it.
I suggest if you're interested, to read Dr. Sears books.
Peggy aka mollysmom

Lena
Member posted 07-16-2001 06:39 AM
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For me, AP is just a part, and an extension of Natural Family Living. As Peggy said, AP for me is parenting by instinct, trusting myself and my baby, and making things work for us as a FAMILY. I don't see AP as necessarily child-centered, in fact I strongly disagree with child-centered parenting and prefer to think of my parenting style as family-centered. Extended breastfeeding, baby wearing and gentle discipline are definitely part of AP practice for me. As to what exactly gentle discipline means, I think you'll find about a dozen recent threads (and who knows how many threads in archives) that talk in depth about various aspects and approaches.

suseyblue
Member posted 07-16-2001 06:49 AM
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are you looking for 'attachment parenting'?
that's what it stands for, if that was your question.

suse

Peggy
unregistered posted 07-16-2001 06:55 AM
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Dear Lena,
I knew I should have clarified what I meant by child centered. I agree the child should not be the center of the family but an important part of it. I think what I meant more was that the needs of the infants are met quickly and thought of first. Not like with some styles, like crying it out, where the parents need for sleep comes first etc.
Just wanted to clear that up. Sometimes the move from brain to page doesn't come out the way I meant it to!
Peggy

Ginger in the woods
Member posted 07-16-2001 08:21 AM
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AP for me is totally being there for my son, and seeing that all his needs are met, including emotional. I think the emotional needs are our big thing. Since my ds is spirited, he feels things SO strongly, and I make it a point to be there for him. I cant dismiss his fears and tantrums. We work through all his emotions, every day, and I dont try and tel him what to think, I try and understand what HE thinks. I offer advice on how I think, but he's his own person, and if he doesnt like peas, or the boy next door, its not my place to tell him that he must. Things seem to MATTER more to him, than less intense children. I look for ways to redirect his anger, I find the character traits in him that are most admirable, and I praise him a lot. I try and help him define himself, by telling him things like, "you are SUCH a fast runner!" or, "you have such a creative mind." I NEVER tell him the negative things. He may be biased, or impatient, but we dont define him as such. I say, "lets see how well we can wait, and we can play I spy while we do..." It is a challenge, and my family members dont treat him with the respect he deserves, as they themselves are impatient and biased! We dont leave him alone with them, as the damage they cause him is heartbreaking when they define him in such awful ways like, "You're so selfish!" or the dreaded, "What a BAD BOY you are!" His emotional needs are the most important thing to me. Welcome to the wonderful world of AP. Your child will definitely love you for it. ~G

Lena
Member posted 07-16-2001 10:55 AM
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Peggy, I understand what you mean by child-centered, and a lot of people on this board feel the same. I am with you on the importance of meeting the infant's needs quickly and always. Nobody on these boards would argue, for example, with the importance of nursing babies on demand.
However, I still don't like the "child-centered" definition of AP, because I've seen all too often that it really does become in some families child-centered to the detriment of other family members. But this really is not the subject of this thread, so I don't want to monopolize it and turn it into yet another discusion on taking children seriously.

Peace, Lena

Peggy
unregistered posted 07-16-2001 02:06 PM
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Oh my gosh, no! I'm not into TCS, I hope I didn't imply that.
nuff said. Turning the topic back to Ap...
Peggy aka mollysmom


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