# We've lost our daughter to Hydrops...



## PrettyHippie (Oct 8, 2009)

Sooo....I'm still in the shock phase. It's like the eye of the hurricane right now. It's going to get A LOT worse. I hit 20 weeks last Sunday and I'd felt her move everyday since 17 weeks. That same Sunday night I felt her move for what was the last time. By Tuesday night I was starting to flip a bit. Wednesday I called my midwife and she wanted to see me the next day. She couldn't find a heartbeat. I just fell apart. I've lost two other babies before this one. My first was a missed mis. at 12 weeks, then I had my little Willow, miscarriage at 5 weeks, and now this. My midwife sent me right away to the ultrasound location she works with and they knew we were coming so we were in right away. They confirmed what we already knew in our hearts. She was gone. We found out she was a girl, just like my gut had told me. Then we turned our attention to trying to find a reason as to why she had passed. Everything looked totally fine until we turned to her belly. The technician did a measurement and her little belly measured 2.5 weeks ahead of where it should be. You could see all these black areas of fluid build up in her belly. It's a condition called Hydrops Fetalis. Very rare and very unlikely to ever occur again. We take peace in knowing that there is a reason. Her poor little body was just too sick for this world. Having to tell everyone has been a nightmare. Everyone is so shocked since I was 5.5 months along. No longer will I be able to breathe after the first 3 months are over. Now we're waiting...waiting for labor to start. We're planning on having her here if at all possible. We want to lay her to rest here on the farm. My midwife and doctor are fine with letting me go 2 to 2.5 weeks. I'm on an arsenal of herbals right now to try to get labor kicked in. Doc gave me pain medication and two midwives will be here. I don't think the true emotional impact is going to hit me until I have to have her and hold her tiny little body. That's when the world is going to come crashing down and I really don't know how I'm going to handle it. So there is my story and my current struggle. Please light a candle and say a prayer that this birth goes smoothly without complications. Oh...and we decided to name her Ivy Spring. Thanks so much for letting me unload. I'll post an update once things happen. Take care...


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## adoremybabe (Jun 8, 2006)

I have know idea what you are going through but you have my heart felt prayers...


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## Vermillion (Mar 12, 2005)

Oh mama... I'm so sorry, my heart breaks for you









I will pray that your labor and birth go as well as possible in this situation.

Can I make a suggestion if you don't mind? You may have already thought of this, but then again maybe not&#8230; it's so hard just to breathe let alone think in a time like this. Since you're planning on holding your little one, try to get lots of pictures, footprints&#8230; an outfit to dress her in that you can keep. I lost my daughter at 17 weeks and I have all of these things and I cherish them SO much. I remember every detail of my perfect, tiny baby like it was yesterday, but the mementos are so nice to have. Those are actually my little one's feet in my avatar. <3

BIG Hugs to you







Peace and healing and strength~~ You're in my thoughts; you and your sweet Ivy Spring


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## Arianwen1174 (May 26, 2009)

Hugs, Mama! And rest in peace, sweet Ivy.


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## lisa_nc (Jul 25, 2008)

I agree with Vermillion. Much love to you, mama. I am sorry you have to be here.


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## feminist~mama (Mar 6, 2002)

I'm so sorry!


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## dinahx (Sep 17, 2005)

I am so sorry! Your birth plan sounds like the best possible plan though! I am praying your time with your sweet LO is beautiful and healing! (((Hugs)))


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## KeyToMamasHeart (May 1, 2009)

Ivy Spring.
i'm so, so sorry you lost your little girl. hugs from all of us, we're all here, mama.








xo


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## MiracleMama (Sep 1, 2003)

Oh Mama I am so sorry to read this.








My heart is just breaking for you.
I wish you a birth that goes as peacefully as possible.
You will be very much in my thoughts.


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## NoraFlood (Dec 21, 2008)

I'm so sorry for your loss.









My baby had hydrops too.


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## Cheshire (Dec 14, 2004)

Thinking of you and your family. I'm so sorry.


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## sebandg'smama (Oct 29, 2005)

So sorry for your loss.

-Melanie


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## WaitingForKiddos (Nov 30, 2006)

Im so very sorry. My thoughts are with you and your husband

My loss was also at 20 weeks and despite everything, I got the midwife attended, natural and peaceful birth I wanted. Please feel free to PM me if you need to talk.








Ivy Spring


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## Tenk (Oct 6, 2006)

(((HUGS))) Praying for you and Ivy Spring mama!!!


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## netgyks (Aug 5, 2007)

I'm so sorry for your loss


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## my-j-angel (May 10, 2004)

I'm so sorry.


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## Manessa (Feb 24, 2003)

I am so very sorry
















Ivy Spring


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## GMum (Apr 25, 2008)

, oh mama, I am so, so sorry for your loss. I read your post with tears rolling down my cheeks. I don't know what to say other than that I'm just so very sorry.







Hoping that you find peace and healing.


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## Vespertina (Sep 30, 2006)

I'm sorry to see you here, mama.














My hear goes out to you.







Many hugs.

Ivy Spring


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## MPsSweetie (Jan 29, 2006)

Many (((hugs)))


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## AmyKT (Aug 20, 2009)

Ivy Spring

I have no sufficient words. Just tears and a


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## shoefairy3 (Jun 15, 2006)

I am so sorry for your loss


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## Milk8shake (Aug 6, 2009)

Sorry for your loss mama.


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## MI_Dawn (Jun 30, 2005)

You will find lots of







and support here if you need it, now and later.

Please listen to the advice given, even if you think we're crazy (and we sometimes are, in our grief







) - get your baby's footprints. Take lots and lots and LOTS of photos. Of your little girl, of you holding her, your husband holding her. Take mementos. A lock of hair if she has any yet. The more you have to remember her by, even if it seems morbid or too painful, will be such a blessing later. You may not think so now. But you only have one chance to do these things, so even if you want to throw them away later, at least you'll have them, just in case you don't.

And I'm so, so heartbroken for you. The loss feels so unbearable, I know.


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## Fireflyforever (May 28, 2008)

I am so very sorry. I hope Ivy's birth is peaceful & gentle for you.


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## sept04mama (Mar 3, 2004)

So sorry. Wishing you a peaceful time with her. Praying for you to be brave.


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## momz3 (May 1, 2006)




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## mollycce (Jul 7, 2005)

I'm so sorry







(((hugs))) I hope the birth is a peaceful and beautiful "letting go" for you. I echo what others have said about taking photos and collecting mementos.


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## Peacemamalove (Jun 7, 2006)

I am so sorry for your loss


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## Gentle~Mommy :) (Apr 21, 2009)

I'm crying for you here, I am so sorry to hear the news.


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## xekomaya (Apr 18, 2007)

I'm so so sorry for your loss
















Ivy Spring


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## ladyjools (May 25, 2009)

im really sorry that you lost your baby, and just before christmas,
i know that it is the saddist thing in the world

Jools


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## pixiekisses (Oct 14, 2008)

I'm so sorry for your loss.







s
Rest in peace, Ivy Spring.


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## cmy (Jul 31, 2008)

Just read your post and am very sorry. My daughter also had hydrops and I vividly remember the sinking feeling while looking at the monitor during the ultrasound(s). I agree completely with getting hand/footprints, photos etc. I have a memory box I pull out once in a while and cherish looking at the contents.
Thinking of you and praying for some peace and comfort


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## Mary-Beth (Nov 20, 2001)

Praying her birth goes as smoothly as possible.
Every moment you had with her, she was literally sounded by your love and warmth. May you take comfort in knowing that.
I agree, take pictures and hold her and allow yourself to grieve.


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## namaste_mom (Oct 21, 2005)

Ivy Spring

many (((HUGS))) to you mama


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## calebsmommy25 (Aug 23, 2008)

I am so sorry to hear of your loss of your precious little girl.
















Ivy Spring


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## georgia (Jan 12, 2003)

Rachel, I am so sorry. Please know we are here for you


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## NullSet (Dec 19, 2004)

I'm so sorry.
















Ivy Spring


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## shy (Feb 21, 2006)

Ivy Spring








mama. Very very sorry.
May you give birth in peace and strength. Our prayers are with you.


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## laohaire (Nov 2, 2005)

Tears for you and your little girl


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## PrettyHippie (Oct 8, 2009)

First, I have to say THANK YOU all so much for all your kind words, thoughts, and prayers. The support has been tremendous. I've been staying away from my computer for a few days so I'm just now getting on to post the "update" I promised. Ivy was born at 2:29am on the 29th. We were in the hospital as the herbal induction at home didn't work, I had hit the 2 week mark, and emotionally I couldn't hang in there anymore. I have to say, that for being homebirthers, we had a WONDERFUL hospital experience where we were. Our hospital is the hospital of choice for Columbus-area homebirthers. The staff was so amazing and kind. My midwife and her apprentice were welcome to be there and they were with us until the bittersweet end. Ivy was so peaceful when she was born. She was the smallest little baby I've ever seen. She was 9.9 ounces. Her little nose looked EXACTLY like her big sister Willow's and her Daddy's. Her little belly was quite swollen like we expected with the Hydrops. She also had pretty low-set ears and a few other external symptoms that make us all wonder if she had something like Turner Syndrome...one of the number one causes of Hydrops. We'll never REALLY know for sure. We decided not to do an autopsy. We just couldn't bear the idea of all that. The doctor did run a large virus antibody panel to see if perhaps I had contracted something while I was pregnant. We may never know. We did get pictures, hand and footprints, everything we could. It was such a precious moment for us. We were able to lay her to rest on the evening of the 31st here on our family farm out by our pond. The night of the Blue Moon actually. We have a tree glen there and we'll be getting her a flowering tree come Spring. Her sister Willow has a Weeping Willow tree there, too. I was an emotional nightmare until yesterday. Didn't eat for two days, shut down, and just wept and wept. It didn't help that my birthday was the 30th. I've been better, just trying to take it one hour at a time. Physically I'm feeling very good. My midwife wants us to wait for about three months before we try to have a baby again. Matthew and I will more than likely give it a try. We know we'll be ready to try once again. We love our Ivy so much, but we know and take peace in that she now is in a better place where she really can be, quite literally, our little angel. Again, thank you all so much for all the support. I feel so blessed to have found such a wonderful group. Peace...


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## Megan73 (May 16, 2007)

Ivy Spring


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## Black Orchid (Mar 28, 2005)

Mama your story is so amazing. Thank you for sharing it. Peace to you and yours.


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## Cuddlebaby (Jan 14, 2003)

hugs and much empathy for you and your family. thanks for sharing this w/ us. So great to have Ivy next to Willow's tree on the family farm. Hope you are doing better now....be gentle w/ yourself.


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## MI_Dawn (Jun 30, 2005)

I'm so sorry... but so glad the experience was as good as it could have been...
















Ivy Spring


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## Juvysen (Apr 25, 2007)

Ivy Spring


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## Mickiswing (Apr 10, 2005)

I'm glad to hear that everything went as well as possible. I'm thinking of you and your family.


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## NoraFlood (Dec 21, 2008)

Ivy Spring

I'm so sorry for your loss, and I'm glad that you got to see your precious little baby.


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## joyfulgrrrl (Jun 8, 2006)

Hugs and peace to you, mama. I'm so sorry for your loss.


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## baileyandmikey (Jan 4, 2005)

(((hugs)))


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## SomedayMom (May 9, 2002)

Hugs to you. I am so sorry for your loss.


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## KatWrangler (Mar 21, 2005)




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## songtothemoon (Jun 3, 2009)

Ivy Spring









Much healing to you and your family.


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## lovebug (Nov 2, 2004)

I'm so sorry for your loss.









i will have you, your family and little Ivy in my prayers!


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