# Planning to co-sleep: need recommendations please



## penstamon (Nov 6, 2008)

My IL's are buying us an arm's reach, but from the sounds of it we may not get much use out of it. We do not want a crib and were planning to co-sleep with the arm's reach as a back-up and for naps and such.

Background: queen bed, DH and I are sleepers who move a lot and take up all the space. I'm sure we will be conscious of the babe, but I think it may make DH feel better to have something defining "baby space". I was looking into the snuggle nest, but when I saw the real thing today I was less than impressed. Are any of you happy with yours?

What else can you recommend to define "baby space" without adding a gigantic hard-sided thing in the bed?

TIA!


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## plantmama (Jun 24, 2005)

Ours got quite a bit of use. You'll probably find the baby is in your bed a lot once you are but they are good for naps or for those babies that like their own space.
We didn't really use it much until ds#2 was 5-6 months. And hardly used it at all for ds #1.
It's really nice for extending the bed, a guard rail, keeping things in that you may need at night. It gives you a feeling of extra space even if baby sleeps in your bed. An actual guard rail or body pillow cuts into your bed space.
People on here do say they didn't use them at all a lot, but I think it's better than a side carred crib and personally really liked the extra space, having the option.
Ds #2 did start prefering it around 6 months and it was nice to have a couple hours of space, yk?
We've found with co sleeping the best thing is to be flexible because you never know what will work best until it happens. I'd say if your in laws are buying it you might want to give it a go. At the very least you will have a nice diaper storage area


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## brightonwoman (Mar 27, 2007)

I liked my co-sleeper for several things
1--someplace to set baby when DH and I wanted to have a little *us* time. (without having to worry about waking/jostling the baby or knocking him off the bed)
2--a handy spot to set spare diapers/blankets/burp cloths (and my water bottle!) for those mid-night feedings/changes. (I was SO thirsty that first month or so, I would drink a quart at each night feeding







)
Honestly, my little guy rarely slept in the co-sleeper, but I did like having it there. One time, when he was about 4-5 months old, he got a really bad cold and was extremely stuffed up. When he laid down with me he would get too stuffed up to breathe, so I set his infant seat in the co-sleeper and he slept in there--next to me, but upright enough to breathe.







It worked for the situation at hand, you know?

As for the idea of defining 'baby space'...um, I dunno. I always had him snuggled right up to me. The real worries are before they are able to roll over...by the tiem they can roll over they can also push things away from their face, so the potential suffocation dangers are greatly reduced. And yeah, when you have a baby in the bed, you tend to be VERY aware of them. My sister is a light sleeper and was so aware of the baby that she couldn't sleep, and ended up moving him to a cradle next to her bed within a month...me on the other hand, well, my 2yo starts the night in the crib across the room, but it has one side off, and he always climbs down and gets in with me by 1 or 2 am.









I do like a crib for transitioning him out of my bed, and next time I plan to just use the crib against our bed with one rail off...like a big co-sleeper. We just didn't have room for it in our last place.


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## dogmom327 (Apr 19, 2007)

DS wouldn't sleep in the Arm's Reach so he was pretty much always in bed with us. We got a lot of use out of the snuggle nest because we were totally paranoid (first child) and weren't sure about the logistics of co-sleeping. I'm honestly not sure if we'll use it this time around but it was worth it to have it (maybe check Craig's List to see if you can find a used one).

Would you mom buy you a new (king size) bed instead? We ended up doing that when DS was about 5 mo and I'm so sorry we didn't do it immediately (or while I was pregnant for that matter). A queen bed is fine for two but three was a bit much. Also, you can put the baby on one side (we use a bed rail for safety) and spend some quality time on the other side without disturbing the baby.


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## Talula Fairie (Jan 7, 2005)

You know, even if you don't use the co sleeper, if you're getting it as a gift, I say why not? I did co sleep with my babe in a queen size bed in that situation, and it was fine. I just made my hubby scoot over more! We never had any problems. It wasn't until #2 was born (we sidecared the crib at that point) that things really got cramped. Finally we invested in a king size bed from Ikea and have been happy co sleepers ever since







I agree if you can get one like that, definitely do it. The Ikea Malm bed is nice and low, so you don't have to worry about the babe falling out. Let's see, all totaled our (almost totally never used) crib cost $300 for the frame and $50 for the mattress. The Ikea bed runs for about $250 ish for the frame, and another $500 or so for the mattress we chose.


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## tayndrewsmama (May 25, 2004)

I love the Snuggle Nest, but we have a king bed and dh travels a lot so it's usually just me and the little one.


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## XanaduMama (May 19, 2006)

I didn't get much use at all out of my Arm's Reach (a gift, fortunately), but I would recommend that you rethink your decision not to get a crib. Not so baby can be separate from you, but so you can sidecar it and extend your bedspace. We got one of those 3-in-1 cribs that transition to a toddler bed, which means they're made to have the side come off. Having that extra space made a huge difference...not so much when ds was tiny, but once he was a toddler and sprawly (not to mention once I was pg again!), it was the only way we could keep cosleeping.

The problem with the Arm's Reach, IME, was the stupid "lip" barrier thing that made it impossible to snuggle baby or roll over after nursing and go back to sleep. With a sidecarred crib, you don't have that problem.

If you really don't want anything else, though (which I totally understand), then there's nothing else to buy, apart (perhaps) from a good bedrail if you want to sleep between baby and dh, as the guidelines recommend.


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

I'd use any baby-stuff money to upgrade to a king sized bed instead









-Angela


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## mamarootoo (Sep 16, 2008)

we only used the co-sleeper for about 3 weeks as a co-sleeper, but i was really glad we had it.
i slept w/ dd on my chest for the first 3 weeks, then she rolled off. it was into the bed, and i was awake before she hit the mattress, but it scared me. i wasn't comfortable with her in the bed yet (we have a euro-top mattress, and i was a slightly neurotic new mama...) and the cosleeper gave me some time to build up my mom-fidence.









after a week or two, she stayed in bed with me after nursing session, and a couple more weeks, she was in bed with us full time.
i still used it as a nighttime changing table for a month or two after that. then i got irritated at getting out of bed around it, and it went into storage.









i plan on having it set up for baby #2, at least for a little while.

ETA: DD wouldn't sleep on the rock-hard mattress, so we ended up putting a diaper-changing pad in the cosleeper.







i know it's horrible, and not meant for sleeping on etc. but it eliminated the lip, and dd would sleep... so... whatever


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## Mom2M (Sep 23, 2006)

I think it would be good to have something like that especially if you feel uncomfortable because of moving a lot in your sleep.
I have to admit for about 8 months, DD slept on my chest. It just ended up that way and we both loved it.
Probably I wasn't getting really great sleep because I was constantly aware of her but it felt perfect at the time and I didn't feel sleep deprived. She slept in a crib for naps though.
This time I'm thinking a side thing migt be good because we still co sleep and I often end up with a leg or arm across me!


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## MamaMonica (Sep 22, 2002)

Moved to the Family Bed and Nightime Parenting.


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## veeeyloova (Aug 18, 2008)

We use the co-sleeper as a place to put LO to bed when he goes down beore us. When I get to bed, or at his first night feed, he gets moved in with us. I also plan to use it to transition him out of our bed if he still fits in it when he's ready.


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## momma-molly (Mar 31, 2009)

I didn't use an arms reach, but I think it would have been really nice to have. I always slept better when DD was in the middle, but not so much when I nursed her on the other side and there was nothing between her and the edge of the bed.

As for no crib - you might not need one right away, but you are going to need something more than a co sleeper around 6 months when they are really rolling, sitting and pulling up. We used a pack and play next to our bed for naps and for when we wanted some..ahem...alone time.

FWIW, we coslept in a FULL size bed until just about a month ago. The queen size works great for us, but neither DH or I are very big people.


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