# my first child gone forever



## Adensmommy (Mar 14, 2006)

Im new and sorry if this is long but I need to unload.
We found out we where pregers on halloween. Dh insisted we take more tests so we went and picked up two more tests after taking two that afternoon. Sure enough they where ++++++++







. We where extatic. We called everyone we could.
Adens gentle flutters turned to jabs kicks and rolls and I loved every second of it. My love grew and grew for him with every passing moment.
on valentines day we found out he was a boy what a special day I could finally start calling him by his name. I talked to him constantly my coworkers thought I was going insane.
On march 6th I called my OBs office because I felt contractions. The nurse told me that it was Braxton-hicks contractions and ligament pain. I called the next day because these contractions really hurt. The nurse said and I quote, "if you are really concerned I guess I can call over to the hospitol and let them know you are coming in". So feeling like a hypocondriac I went.
At 4:30pm dh and I where given the devistating news, I was 4cm dialated and his amniotic sac was bulging out of my cervix. We where going to lose our son, at 22wks and 4days he was just too young to survive. I was given a Brethine shot to stop the contractions. I think now they gave this to me to give dh and I a chance to digest what was about to happen. The Dr said he wanted to start me on patossin to speed things along. I said no I wanted to hold onto my son as long as I could. We didnt wait long before I started contracting again. I labored through the night clinging to my son and husband. At 6:19am our beautiful son Aden Allen was born kicking and wiggling. He didnt live long, and I regret with every fiber of my being not holding him.
My heart is so broken I cant function at all even the little things seem to be to much for me to handle right now.
I love my son so much.
A few days ago dh and I went and pick his pictures up from the hospitol. That has helped some by giving some closure he was perfect in every way he was 11 and 3/4 inches long and he weighed 1 lb and 2.5 ounces. He had my nose, my husbands mouth and dark hair allready.
wherever you are Aden Mommy loves you and I will never forget the times we shared while you where safe in my belly.

I have been diagnosed with an Incompetent cervix.

--------------------
Mother to Aden Allen born March 8, 2006 perfect in every way
1 lb 2.5 ounces 11 and 3/4 inches long.
We lost our little Aden due to an incompetent cervix.

Aden wherever you are mommy loves you and you will live forever in my heart, my wiggley little boy.


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## AllyRae (Dec 10, 2003)

I am so so so so very sorry for the loss of your precious little boy.







: Aden....


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## coralsmom (Apr 1, 2005)

adensmommy,
oh, i am so sorry and sad with you!! it is so good to be able to share how much you loved aden, and how much you miss him...
these deep, hollowing feelings of loss, of missing him, his movements, his perfect little being, i know this must be so devastating for you and your husband. you gave him a life filled with love.
after we lost our daughter, i found that i really needed to share how i was feeling, and this forum was a life saver for me. i didn't feel so alone, and my feelings were less scary to me. if you want to write more about how you are feeling, or if you just want some more support, this is a good place to come to. also, there are very good resources listed in the sticky at the top of the forum, groups and books that can help understand the grief.
you're in my thoughts today, mama.








aden allen


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## trish28543 (Mar 13, 2006)

When I Read Your Story I Could Totally Relate. I Also At 26wks Went Into Ptl With My Son I Was Leaking Fluid For Wks And The Dr''s Said It Was Urine So By The Time I Started Contrating It Was To Late My Sac Was Coming Thru My Cervix Also And At 9am June 30th I Was In Full Ptl And By 300pm That Same Day I Had My Precious Lil Man Jayson He Was 1lb 14oz And Only Lived 90mins Due To Immature Lungs. Its Its Absolutley Devestating And To Think That Maybe Jus Maybe If Someone Would Have Listened Could Things Have Been Different But We Will Never Know That Answer To That..
I Am Now Pregnant Again I Amd Due July 20th And This Preg Is Goin Wonderful I Decided Not To Wait Because All The Grieving Couldnt Bring My Lil Jayson Back So Why Not Move On And Plan On The Next Life We Bring Into This World And But Also Never Forget All The Joy And Happiness Jay Gave To Us For The Short Time He Is Here. I Am Having Another Boy And I Am Worried 247 But I Know In The End God Will Bless Me And This Is My Second Chance To B A Mommy Again I Have One Child Already He Is 10.
So Please Let Me Offer You My Condolences And Hugs And Let U Know That It Does Get Better And U Wont Ever Forget The Memory Or Him But U Will Move On And Want To Share Another Child Together And Never Forget His Or Her Big Sister .
Take Care If You Ever Need To Talk I Am Right Here ...


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## stellimamo (Jan 9, 2006)

coundn't read and not reply.. My heart and thoughts are with you and your dear family.


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## KBinSATX (Jan 17, 2006)

How sad. How devastating it must be for you.


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## broodymama (May 3, 2004)

Oh mama, I am crying for your loss, I am so sorry.


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## EVC (Jan 29, 2006)

I'm so very sorry







s

For your little boy


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## newcastlemama (Jun 7, 2005)

We are here for you mama....

thank you for sharing your baby with us


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## cornflower_3 (Jan 15, 2006)

*


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## mimi_n_tre (Jun 15, 2005)

Hi mama,
I just wanted to tell you about how sorry I am for what happened. It has happened to far to many of us. We are all here for your support, and it helps a lot.

I lost my son at 26 1/2 weeks but he was the size of your dear Aden. He died of unknown causes. When I found out he was not alive, for certain, I needed all of the support I could find, and found many mammas here that were in the same situation and helped me to grieve.

Please feel free to grieve as much as needed, as many times it helps to talk to those who have been in the same situation, even while they are complete strangers.

Love,
Mary


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## chrissy (Jun 5, 2002)

I am so terribly sorry for the loss of your son Aden.








I know for sure that he knows how much you love him.


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## mom2mimi (May 26, 2004)

Your story and loss of Aden is breaking my heart.







I am so sorry mama, we are here for you.


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## iris0110 (Aug 26, 2003)

to you. I am soooo sorry for your loss. Aden sounds just beautiful. I lost my little girl 2 yrs ago at 22wks and she was about the same size. I am here to listen if you need to talk.


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## solstar (May 26, 2002)

I'm so sorry for your loss


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## dziejen (May 23, 2004)

Oh, mama. I am so sorry to hear that you have lost your son. The pain of losing a child is so deep it is hard to imagine ever being able to function again. Please know you are not alone and that it is ok just to grieve. You don't need to do anything else right now. I am glad that you have pictures of your beautiful little boy -- having pictures of my daughter really helped me to process our loss. You, your husband, and beautiful Aden are in my thoughts.








Aden


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## rn (Jul 27, 2003)

I am so sorry.


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## egoldber (Nov 18, 2002)

I am so very sorry for your loss. hug


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## ChristineIndy (Jan 3, 2006)

I am so sorry for your loss.

Christine


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## LadyInfidel (Jan 23, 2006)

My heart breaks for you. I lost my first child at 27 weeks. I understand your pain. I wish more than anything I had a photo of my son.

You and Aden will be in my thoughts. I hope you find peace with it all soon. You will be a mother again someday soon and you'll carry Aden with you always.


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## NWmt_mama (Jul 22, 2005)

I am so sorry for your loss.







for your sweet boy, Aden.


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## Patti Ann (Dec 2, 2001)

to you mama. I'm so sorry!

Aden









Peace and love,

Patti


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## Mearaina (May 3, 2005)

I am so sorry.


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## taradt (Jun 10, 2003)

to you Mama I am so sorry

thank you for sharing Aden with us. This is a great and safe place to process all the feelings you have about your loss, these woman have been my support many times

take care of yourself

tara


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## Barcino (Aug 25, 2004)

I am so sorry that you lost your precious baby! I lost my son Grant at full term due to a cord accident during the delivery. He was born Sept 30th and died October 8th. This is so hard but it gets a little better with time. It is really hard the first few weeks. It is like being stuck in a nightmare.
Hugs mama!


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## nikisager (Oct 25, 2005)

I am soo soo sorry for you and your family. That is all I can say, I wish you were close enough to hug.


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