# What's your most embarrassing public parenting moment?



## minkajane (Jun 5, 2005)

This is intended to be a FUN thread where we can laugh at ourselves. We've all done things that make us want to sink into the floor or hole up in the house and never come out again. Here's mine:

We were getting DS's pictures done when he was 18 months old. Right before the pictures, he had a major diaper blowout. I had to sit down on the carpet right there in the photo studio and clean up his huge poop explosion because it was leaking out the sides and if I'd tried to go to the bathroom, I would have left a trail the whole way. While I cleaned up DS, XH had to go out into the store and buy a new outfit for the pictures because we didn't bring an extra. The whole time, the teenagers that were in the studio were making snide comments about how gross it was. I probably would have thought the same thing if it had been someone else. I was MORTIFIED.


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## larksongs (May 7, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
This is intended to be a FUN thread where we can laugh at ourselves. We've all done things that make us want to sink into the floor or hole up in the house and never come out again. Here's mine:

We were getting DS's pictures done when he was 18 months old. Right before the pictures, he had a major diaper blowout. I had to sit down on the carpet right there in the photo studio and clean up his huge poop explosion because it was leaking out the sides and if I'd tried to go to the bathroom, I would have left a trail the whole way. While I cleaned up DS, XH had to go out into the store and buy a new outfit for the pictures because we didn't bring an extra. The whole time, the teenagers that were in the studio were making snide comments about how gross it was. I probably would have thought the same thing if it had been someone else. I was MORTIFIED.

Ok this is pretty embarassing and happened while my son was not with me but it is a 'parenting thing'...

...Ok so I hadn't been out without my son , with other grown ups for at least a year, I am a sahm, homeschooler, I um don't get out much for myself , with friends without my son. That's fine but anyway, I was going out this day to the city with my two best girl friends. DH was home with my boy.

So we get out of the subway and it is Christmas time in the city very busy.We go to cross this street , I wait for the walk sign to come on, it does and without even thinking about it, just instinctual reaction, I take my girlfriends hands and was like 'Ok lets go"....then I quickly pulled away and slapped my forehead and was like "Sorry guys, just looking out for you being adults and all I know you need my help crossing the street."


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## katelove (Apr 28, 2009)

^^ He He







I was in my late teens before my Mum's hand stopped automatically reaching out towards me whenever we crossed a street.


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

OK, not too long ago, once upon a time...

We were running late, and I was in a really big hurry. The baby (16months) was still napping and we had an appointment. So, I tell big brother to quickly wrap him up in the blanket and get him to the car as I rush all the other children out. It is about 40 degrees outside.

So, we get to the chiro's office, and when I completely unwrap Baby, he is nakey!









I never thought to check and see if he was dressed as I just assumed he was when he went to nap. Boy! Did I have some 'splaining to do!


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## MittensKittens (Oct 26, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kidzaplenty* 
OK, not too long ago, once upon a time...

We were running late, and I was in a really big hurry. The baby (16months) was still napping and we had an appointment. So, I tell big brother to quickly wrap him up in the blanket and get him to the car as I rush all the other children out. It is about 40 degrees outside.

So, we get to the chiro's office, and when I completely unwrap Baby, he is nakey!









I never thought to check and see if he was dressed as I just assumed he was when he went to nap. Boy! Did I have some 'splaining to do!









OMG, that is soooo funny!

The worst that happened to me was a diarrhea attack my three year old had in a restaurant. I felt so sorry for her.

The other day when she made a comment in a small boutique for kids' clothes "Those clothes are UGLY. We won't buy that, mommy will sew me something NICER!", I felt quite awkward too







.


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## Tizzy (Mar 16, 2007)

DS1 has a poop incident at the photo studio when I went to pick up the pictures. I didn't bring in the diaper bag because it was just supposed to be in and out. But they messed some things up so we were there for over 20 min. I looked over and saw this GIANT TURD sitting in the middle of the waiting area and just *knew* it was from my child. I quickly asked for a kleenex, snatched it up, hoping and praying that nobody else noticed (the clerk seemed oblivious) and then I'm standing there - fussy baby in the sling, holding my toddler in one hand and this turd in the other and going through my mind - WHAT DO I Do?!? fortunately there was a bathroom nearby, we dashed off, got fixed up, came back and I knew then that the other couple (with two young kids) totally saw what happened. I dunno, I would have told someone if I saw poop falling out of their child's pantleg!









Another "bad parenting" moment was when I was in the big city doing several shopping trips and DS2 decided he had had enough of the sling. So I had to put him in the stroller. Except our stroller is dumb and you can't push it with one hand, which meant I didn't have a free hand to hold my toddler, who was a real runner at that point! So....I used the strap off of my camera and put it on his belt loop. Yep, I was a "leash mom" for approximately half an hour and felt SO STUPID - especially with all the dirty looks I was getting from people! You'd think they had never seen a kid on a leash before. Now DS1 isn't a runner and I know enough to bring a MT and sling as backup for DS2 so we don't end up in that situation again


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## InMediasRes (May 18, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tizzy* 
Another "bad parenting" moment was when I was in the big city doing several shopping trips and DS2 decided he had had enough of the sling. So I had to put him in the stroller. Except our stroller is dumb and you can't push it with one hand, which meant I didn't have a free hand to hold my toddler, who was a real runner at that point! So....I used the strap off of my camera and put it on his belt loop. Yep, I was a "leash mom" for approximately half an hour and felt SO STUPID - especially with all the dirty looks I was getting from people! You'd think they had never seen a kid on a leash before. Now DS1 isn't a runner and I know enough to bring a MT and sling as backup for DS2 so we don't end up in that situation again









I've used the Moby wrap as a leash in a pinch. I think a Maya would work too.

I am cracking up at these! I'm going to think of some of my own for later.


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## minkajane (Jun 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MittensKittens* 
The worst that happened to me was a diarrhea attack my three year old had in a restaurant. I felt so sorry for her.

This reminded me of something that DS did just a few weeks ago. He had had a bit of diarrhea earlier and didn't quite make it to the potty. No big deal, it happens, right? So he was feeling better later and we decided to stop by the library. I was looking for some books in the kids' section and he was playing in the play area a few stacks over. Out of nowhere, I look over at him and he's standing on a chair looking for me. When he saw me, he SHRIEKED across the kids' section, "MOMMY! The poop squirted out into my underwear again!"

I wanted to just sink into the floor and die! We had to rush through checking out because there's no bathroom inside the main library. Then we had to go into the bathroom, clean him up, and take him home underwearless, holding his wet underwear wrapped in TP, praying that he wouldn't poop again until we got home.


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## nolansmummy (Apr 19, 2005)

I'm







, so many poop stories!
Mine are all poop related also- it never fails that if i forget an extra change of clothes one of my children will have an accident in a public place and exclaim loudly "mom , i just pooooopeeed!"


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## 2lilsweetfoxes (Apr 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nolansmummy* 
I'm







, so many poop stories!
Mine are all poop related also- it never fails that if i forget an extra change of clothes one of my children will have an accident in a public place and exclaim loudly "mom , i just pooooopeeed!"

of course on the poop stories! (this is MDC--no one is going to admit to the time their child was totally out of control at the grocery store at 5:30 pm, but you had to go because you didn't have a vital ingredient for the dinner you had already started or because there is a bake-sale or party tomorrow and your ODC had just told you about it, so you lose your temper and either yell at the kid or give him a pat-on-the-tushie (swat))


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## mama2mygirl (Dec 14, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2lilsweetfoxes* 
of course on the poop stories! (this is MDC--no one is going to admit to the time their child was totally out of control at the grocery store at 5:30 pm, but you had to go because you didn't have a vital ingredient for the dinner you had already started or because there is a bake-sale or party tomorrow and your ODC had just told you about it, so you lose your temper and either yell at the kid or give him a pat-on-the-tushie (swat))

I've seen lots of parents admit to spanking their children. They just don't refer to it as a "pat-on-the-tushie" but as hitting or spanking and talk about it with regret.


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## butterfly_mommy (Oct 22, 2007)

My worst parenting I have ever done in public is to take my 15 mon old to McDonalds for breakfast and let him eat an egg McMuffin (Don't tell DH







)


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## Poodge (Jun 16, 2009)

Maybe we should retitle this thread - funny poop stories









One day I actually had a meeting in the same town where I live so DH and I decided to pick up DS from day care for lunch and go to lunch as a family. We picked DS up and headed off to a local burger joint. We got there and I took DS out of the carseat only to realize it and he were covered in poop. It was coming out of his diaper and out of his onesie and down his legs and everywhere. Plus he had gotten his hands in it! We didn't have a diaper bag with us because we had just picked up DS from daycare!









DH and I took turns holding him all the way in front of us (both us were dressed for work and both had white shirts on!) and rinsing our and DS hands off in a fountain outside. DH ran in and got burgers to go while I put DS back in the car and kept his hands away from his mouth and used the couple of spare wipes I found to clean him as best as possible. Then we headed back to daycare and cleaned DS, his carseat, changed his clothes, and had a picnic lunch on the floor of his room.


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## peainthepod (Jul 16, 2008)

In the grocery store parking lot, I once strapped DS into his car seat, shut his door, started the car, shut the driver's side door...and then calmly strolled off to put the shopping cart into a corral like 100 feet away.









Once I realized what I'd done I sprinted back so fast I'm surprised my feet didn't leave a trail of fire like the Delorean in _Back to the Future_...


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## crl (May 9, 2004)

One of my more embarrassing moments, that is somewhat funny in retrospect, is from when DS was about 2. We had walked about a mile to a park and were headed home. I had the stroller but he wanted to walk. Fine, but he needed to hold my hand as he was a runner and I couldn't count on him not to dart out into traffic. My rule was that if he jerked his hand out of mine then he needed to ride in the stroller.

He jerked his hand out of mine and took off. So I caught him, but he had finally gotten too big for me to just pick up and put in the stroller and he didn't want to get in. So we sat on the sidewalk in a busy residential area with him wailing away for about 30 minutes until he decided to get in so we could go home.







That was a reeaallly long 30 minutes.

Catherine


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## laohaire (Nov 2, 2005)

Well, the OP calls for FUNNY stories, so that kind of nixes the spanking stuff. My worst moment didn't involve any spanking or anything I'm ashamed of but it wasn't really funny either (having to finish a shop with a toddler totally melting down in the shopping cart, and me at this point just ignoring her since I'd already tried everything else including NIP right in the store... boy, I got a lot of "what an awful parent you are" looks, lol).


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## clicksab (Oct 15, 2006)

Okay, I'm just going to admit mine, because at least I thought it was funny...and most of the people who saw us laughed!

My DD and I were at an event at a hotel that was a bit crowded. We had to keep going from one room to another, and navigating through the halls was no easy task. She was going through a phase where she didn't want to hold my hand but she didn't want to be held or worn...so we were both getting beyond frustrated with one another! Finally, I broke down and bought some french fries. I then walked around literally holding out the french fries to motivate her to walk towards me! So yeah, imagine watching a woman manuever through a crowd holding out a bunch of fries saying "follow the fries, honey!", while a toddler walks just always out of reach of the french fries! It was not my finest moment. But hey, it got us where we needed to be, and kept us sane and happy!


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## Wild Lupine (Jul 22, 2009)

Without knowing the context I must have looked like a crazy mama.

One day last week none of us had had much sleep, baby teething and preschool nightmares combined to create the awake-all-night from hell. When I'm sleep deprived I'm prone to lose my temper so I've developed a strategy of saying 'yes' as much as possible on those days, because it seems to keep me calm and makes the day more enjoyable.

So we went to the bank and they forgot to give DD a lollipop. Normally she can handle this disappointment, but after a night of nightmares and no sleep she cried like there was no tomorrow. To cheer her up I promised to buy her a lollipop at the store we were going to. When we got to the store they had no lollipops, so I bought her a different piece of candy. She didn't like it and fresh from the no-lollipop-at-the-bank-disappointment, she cried again. I spent a good ten minutes walking around the store with a wailing, whiney looking for the perfect piece of candy, saying over and over, 'don't worry honey, we'll find you some better candy.'

I'm sure the onlookers think I'll be having big problems during the teen years.


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## JessicaS (Nov 18, 2001)

The title of this used to be "worst" not most embarassing.









One of my favorite Abi moments

Quote:


Originally Posted by *abimommy*

So my dd, Abi, and I are in the grocery store. She wanted some cookies or something and I had said "NO" she was pretty tired and proceeded to throw a tantrum. I was kind of looking at her..amazed, dd is VERY good at hollering, I realized she was tired and it was partly my fault..I shouldn't have dragged her out while she was so tired.

So she is laying on the ground and yelling.

A COMPLETE stranger walks up to dd and says "Well, you just need a spanking now don't you??"

Abi stops screaming, looks at her and says "Suck it!"

I *might* have laughed..

I also *might* have bought the item she was screaming over.









Abi, learned that phrase from one of our friends who does not have children.











I have told that story here multiple times.


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## Yvaine Undomiel (Nov 18, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *abimommy* 
One of my favorite Abi moments

I have told that story here multiple times.

















I love it!

Kidzaplenty, how on earth did you get your babe into the carseat without noticing?









Mine: So, we were at the library, and I'm helping my kids with something, my toddler tells me that her diaper is wet, I tell her that I'll take care of it as soon as I'm finished. So, after I'm done helping, I turn to my daughter, and she is naked from the waist down, holding her wet diaper, still in her pants, out towards me.









eta: I got so distracted by the naked/poop stories that I forgot that the title asks for "worst parenting moment"!









Oh jeez, I'm not sure I can find just one. I'll have to think about it...


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## lifeguard (May 12, 2008)

When ds was about 6 months we moved back to Canada & I wasn't quite used to all the extra steps needed to take him out in the colder weather yet. My MIL & I decided to go shopping with him & she insisted we take the stroller (another thing I wasn't used to doing). We got to this nice consignment shop & ds is SOAKED through (stupid sposies!). When I go to change him I realize I don't have an extra diaper ('cause I usually kept them in my sling which I wasn't using that day) or anything else. I had this naked baby & had to ask around in the store for an extra diaper & we had to buy an outfit to get him home in. I felt SO incompetent!


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## felix23 (Nov 7, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kidzaplenty* 
OK, not too long ago, once upon a time...

We were running late, and I was in a really big hurry. The baby (16months) was still napping and we had an appointment. So, I tell big brother to quickly wrap him up in the blanket and get him to the car as I rush all the other children out. It is about 40 degrees outside.

So, we get to the chiro's office, and when I completely unwrap Baby, he is nakey!









I never thought to check and see if he was dressed as I just assumed he was when he went to nap. Boy! Did I have some 'splaining to do!










Did the older brother not notice he was naked when he put the baby in the carseat? I bet that was awkard to walk into the office on a cold day with a naked baby!

I have to share one of my mom's stories. When my brother was three he was in a preschool with one of my dad's relatives. This little girl had a very, very strange name. So on the way to the end of year program my mom and dad were talking and my mom said "I can't believe your cousin named their little girl such a silly name. It sounds like something you would name a poodle not a child." Well after the program they were visiting and my brother pipes up and says "You have a silly name, it sounds like something you would name a poodle." My mom is horrified and says, "Jason, she has a beautiful name, don't say things like that" and of course Jason replies, "Well, that's not what you said in the car, you said it was silly." My mom wanted to die and learned her lesson about saying stuff around small children.

By the way the little girl grew up and legally changed her name because it is seriously a silly name.


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## Dingletwitz (Nov 4, 2009)

LO and I (she was about 18 mo) went to one of those Q-doba type places, and of course she was greenish upon leaving....now dd was spitterupper in her infancy, and over time (with help from the dog) I got fasssst, like ninja-fast, at getting her positioned over the floor for the spitup with dog right there at the ready. So this learned instinct kicks in at the parking lot, and I have the kid held about a foot from the ground, and this man and his family stop their car and he says with a very concerned look on his face "do you need some help?????" and it took me all day to realize what on earth possessed him to ask that--I mean what parent needs help with a barfer? But then it dawned on me it probably looked like I dropped her or something!


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## minkajane (Jun 5, 2005)

I changed the title of the thread to better reflect what we're going for.


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## ChristyMarie (May 31, 2006)

DS was maybe 18 months old and a RUNNER. A fast runner. How those little legs can move so fast I will never understand. We had just started using his harness/leash because he was done being worn, hated the stroller and wanted to explore.

Well, I went to turn just as he spotted something shiny and darted the other way - resulting in him snapping back and falling right at my feet. I'm sure it looked like I pulled him - to the older woman who came around the corner right as he fell and gave me a VERY dirty look.

That was our only mishap with the leash though.

___

Once at the grocery store DS was in the cart and a man with a full face beard (he has a thing about facial hair) came out of a door right by us and clearly startled DS. The kid screamed bloody murder. We had just started shopping. He calmed down right away but the rest of the trip everyone kept coming up to us "oh, was he the one who screamed? you could hear it through the entire store!" Yes, I know, thanks so much for pointing it out.

___

About 8 months ago DS started being able to climb into the car on his own. And, of course, insists on doing it BY MYSELF, NO HELP!!! Ok. So we're at the grocery store and I open the door so he can climb in and just as I turn to answer a question from the employee loading the groceries he slips and falls face first in the parking lot, right at my feet.


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## Sharon RN (Sep 6, 2006)

Once, older DS, X-husband and I were at a restaurant. DS was about 18 monts or so, and half-way through dinner I realize he's going to puke. (He ate too fast, or something.) I pick him up to run to the bathroom, and I realize we'll never make it, he's going to BLOW, so I *just hold out my free hand for him to puke in.* Of course, my hand only held, say, the first wave, then it was just *dripping down my hand and arm, onto my lap, the floor, the table, etc.*

I thought I was going _die._ My xh just kept staring at me, like, "What are you going to do now to fix this?"







LOL

Gross. Gross gross.


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## lalaland42 (Mar 12, 2006)

Sharon, my DD has texture issues and if she eats something that is the wrong texture and I can't get it out of her mouth fast enough, she'll puke into my hand. Last time was a couple of weeks ago when DD, DH and I went out for a nice dinner and she tried chicken.







Did I mention she is a very tall 4 so most people think she is 5+? I am always so embarrassed when that happens.









Let's see. I'd have to say the time that DD was PT and she had an accident at a clothing store. I was tired and frustrated so I sent her and DH to the bathroom to change and DD ran off screaming, "DON'T HIT ME MOMMY, DON'T HIT ME DADDY".







As if.


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## zinemama (Feb 2, 2002)

I was in the restroom at the library and since my ds was a toddler, I'd taken him into the stall with me.

He chose the moment when my pants were around my ankles to demonstrate that he was able to unlatch the door. It was a stiff door that didn't swing shut, but stayed open. Let's just say the library patrons waiting their turn got an eyeful.


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## rhianna813 (Apr 3, 2009)

I locked my keys and my child in the car once. Ugh it was horrible! Luckily it was not a hot day. DS was very young and could not get out of carseat lock to open the door. But the worst part was that DH's truck wasn't working so I had to call a friend to pick him up and drive to meet me with the spare key.

Waiting felt like 6 hours even though it was only 30 mins. Poor DS was crying on and off. I was so fearful that he thought I was punishing him. I kept saying over and over throught the glass "it's going to be ok. daddy is coming. i love you."

I was totally embarrassed trying to act like nothing was happening.

That day, I got my car key duplicated and keep the spare in my wallet. Luckily now DS is old enough to unlock the doors. I was completely mortified by this experience and told no one at the time. But now I share with other moms&#8230; a good reminder that we are all human.

Rhianna


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## carfreemama (Jun 13, 2007)

We've always used the correct terminology for body parts and dd was a VERY early talker. So in the crowded credit union, my toddler climbed on a chair, slipped and straddled it. And called out in a very loud, very clear voice "mommy, I hurt my vagina. Can you kiss it?" Um, no honey. Amid snickers (some understanding, some decidedly not), I remind her that that area is private...


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## bjerme (Nov 13, 2009)

When my oldest was a newborn, I came out of the grocery store, loaded her and the groceries into the car and then went to get in... the car was locked! She was locked in for about 20 minutes. Thankfully (?) that was before I knew that I was supposed to take her coat off before putting her into the carseat, so she was bundled up.

Forgot to mention, this was during the middle of winter when it was only about 15 degrees out.


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## bethanyclaire (Dec 17, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *carfreemama* 
We've always used the correct terminology for body parts and dd was a VERY early talker. So in the crowded credit union, my toddler climbed on a chair, slipped and straddled it. And called out in a very loud, very clear voice "mommy, I hurt my vagina. Can you kiss it?" Um, no honey. Amid snickers (some understanding, some decidedly not), I remind her that that area is private...

OMG. I think I would have died! Not much embarrasses me... but that would have done it for sure!

Mine pretty much horrified me, too.









DS was an early talker, too, and always spoke very clearly. We were in the grocery store when he was 21 months old. I was pg with DD and was due in a few weeks so obviously DS and I had spent a lot of time talking about babies. An older man with a rather large pot belly walked up next to us. DS turned around, pointed his finger right at him and practically yelled (VERY clearly)... "Mommy, that man has a baby in his belly too!" I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me whole. I mumbled something and practically ran the other way with DS and our cart. I'm sure my face was bright red!


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## bjerme (Nov 13, 2009)

I just remembered a really embarressing one.

My daughter was an early talker to, and was obsessed with clocks. We were at the store and she shouted "Mommy! LOOK! A big C*CK!" (She was around 18 months and could not pronounce "clock" correctly). Of course everyone around was shocked lol.


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## NYCVeg (Jan 31, 2005)

Mine is a poop story, too.

Dd was about 8 months old, and I was going to a LLL meeting. Meeting were far away--a 45-minute bus ride and then a 10-minute walk. I wrap dd in the Moby Wrap in a front carry, and get on the bus. About 10 minutes into the bus ride, she has an EXPLOSIVE poop. The Moby Wrap contains it, but it is all over her (inside the wrap) and all over my shirt (also inside the wrap). The other passengers can clearly smell it, but there's nothing I can do--if I unwrap her, the poop will be EVERYWHERE. The bus goes through almost exclusively residential neighborhoods, so there's nowhere to get off and change her. I ride all the way to my stop (getting lots of fun looks), get off, walk ten minutes in the blazing hot sun--did I mention it was summer?--covered in poop and baby. Did I mention that I was wearing a white t-shirt? And that this particular LLL meeting was held at a yoga studio, so there was nothing else for me to change into? I cleaned up dd, rinsed out my shirt in the sink and spent the rest of meeting looking like a contestant in a wet t-shirt contest.


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## webjefita (Aug 16, 2003)

I have two:

1. My DD was about 8 weeks old, and it was my first big outing with all three kids. I took them, by myself, to an interactive outdoor museum near our house. We had a fine morning. Had lunch there. On the way heading out (I rarely take a stroller), they were all 3 tired. It took f-o-r-e-v-e-r to get to the exit, and by then, I was leading (baby on my back) and all *THREE* of them were crying out loud. Everyone was looking at us. I am so proud of myself, I didn't have to wait until later, I knew right then and there that all I could at that point was laugh and somehow enjoy it.

2. My 3yo son and I were at the laundromat together. We're folding the clothes. He knows that his underwear has a hole in the front in case he wants to use that someday for peeing. So he picks up my huge post-pregnancy underwear and asks me out loud, "Mama, what's this hole here for?" Me getting red, wishing he was not holding up my underwear. "Um, I don't know what you mean, the leg hole?" Him: "Is it for your vulva?" LOL. The only lucky thing for me in that situation was that he happened to say all that in Spanish, and no one in the laundromat understood his actual question, but did get to see my underwear.


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## waiting2bemommy (Dec 2, 2007)

Several times my ds has seen babies drinking from bottles and has run up before I can grab him, yanked away the bottle and pulled up the adult's shirt (male or female) yelling "baby chi chi!" (he calls nursing chi chi) yes I'm all about breastfeeding but I SWEAR I did not teach him that....

Also we read the book the grouchy ladybug and now he goes up to random people and says "You wanna fight?" I think he missed the message in the story.....

I have also had to pick up turds from awkwards locations including a very crowded mcdonald's playplace, where another child came and told me that my ds had pooped in the tunnel. Of course I tried to play it off while I figured out what to do and said, "Are you sure he did it? There's lots of little babies here who are still learning to go potty." (which was true, with so many toddlers, I wasn' automatically sure it was him.) to which she replies very loud and clear, "Oh, no, he pulled his pants down and I saw it fall out of his butt!" Well, then. I guess that settles it. Then I had to crawl into the tunnel with paper towels to retrieve said turd, make my way to the bathroom through a crowd of preschoolers clamoring to see it, and then return with bleach water borrowed from management and climb into the tunnel a second time to disinfect. While all the moms and kids, now banned from the play structure, stood and waited below. no such thing as a quiet exit for me...


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## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kidzaplenty* 
OK, not too long ago, once upon a time...

We were running late, and I was in a really big hurry. The baby (16months) was still napping and we had an appointment. So, I tell big brother to quickly wrap him up in the blanket and get him to the car as I rush all the other children out. It is about 40 degrees outside.

So, we get to the chiro's office, and when I completely unwrap Baby, he is nakey!









I never thought to check and see if he was dressed as I just assumed he was when he went to nap. Boy! Did I have some 'splaining to do!









That would be embarrassing. I cant figure out though how your older ds buckled him in his seat since he was wrapped in a blanket? Your older ds must have some mad wrapping skills to make that work









I know I have to have many moments but I seem to have blanked them out







but I will try and recall them to share.


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## AllisonK (Feb 18, 2005)

When oldest DD was about 18 months old or so she walked up to an older woman in the grocery store and grabbed her butt. Not just a little pat as she toddled by it was a grab and shake kind of thing and then she just laughed and laughed.







Little old lady was not very understanding.


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## KristaDJ (May 30, 2009)

When my DS was three I was being fitted for glasses at LensCrafters. He was in the chair behind me climbing around and suddenly he reached around, squeezed my breast and said "nipple, nipple, nipple"







Thankfully the girl fitting me just giggled.

Once I was in a very crowded indoor flea market bathroom with my 4yo nephew. I took him into the bathroom stall with me to pee and after I got my pants down he said (very loudly) "why do you have hair on your butt?!" I do not have hair on my butt, apparently NOT teaching your kids the proper names for body parts can have it's drawbacks too.


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## Stephenie (Oct 11, 2007)

When DS was somewhere around 20 months, I was trying to get him into his carseat and it just was not working. He was fussing, wiggling, giggling and trying to run out of the car. I finally distracted him with my keys. Then he hit the panic button, so I tossed them on the front seat. After getting him settled in, I went around to the front of the car and realized it was locked. So I tried to call a tow company to let me into my car... but once they heard a baby was in the car they said they couldn't help and to call 911. So they send the flippin' fire department, fire engine and all to let us out. I was about seven months pregnant on top of it and cried the whole time. DS was, of course, just fine.


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Yvaine Undomiel* 







I love it!

Kidzaplenty, how on earth did you get your babe into the carseat without noticing?










Quote:


Originally Posted by *MCatLvrMom2A&X* 
That would be embarrassing. I cant figure out though how your older ds buckled him in his seat since he was wrapped in a blanket? Your older ds must have some made wrapping skills to make that work










Quote:


Originally Posted by *felix23* 
Did the older brother not notice he was naked when he put the baby in the carseat? I bet that was awkard to walk into the office on a cold day with a naked baby!

Well, it was quite ingenious. Big brother put him in his seat. And since I had not pulled out a coat for him yet (all my winter toddler stuff was still packed up) he just had the blanket wrapped around each leg (like a mummy), so he buckled him in blanket and all. I never would have thought to do it quite like that, but appearently it worked. But was quite embarrassing when I unwrapped a nakey baby in the chiro's office full of patients.


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## Krisis (May 29, 2008)

Hmm, I'm not sure I have one yet. DS isn't talking... he does have meltdowns in stores that are pretty embarrassing, but I can usually distract him or else we leave.

One time though we went to Jo-Anns Fabric with my grandma and she was walking him around the store while I waited in line to get some fabric cut. I suddenly hear this bloodcurdling shriek and instantly know it's Toby, that he's fine and just mad. He screams and screams and screams and all the people in line are talking about that poor kid who got hurt and I'm just









My grandma had to drag him outside to get him to stop screaming. I'm just glad I wasn't there to witness, it might have turned into a spanking story.

Here's some funny ones from my grandma:

(Obligatory Poop!): My mom had just been potty trained and Grandma took her up in a gondola to see the top of a mountain or some such thing. On the way back down in a gondola full of 30ish people, crammed in there like sardines, my mom yells "Mommy! I pooped and now MY BUTT ITCHES!!!" My grandma said she wanted to jump out of the gondola.

And one time my mom and aunt (ages 5 and 3) and my grandma were going into some store, and as they walked through the parking lot my mom chased my aunt and they ran into some little very old Chinese lady. She fell over and started rolling down the slanted parking lot. My grandma screamed and went over and tried apologizing but they lady didn't speak English and was yelling in Chinese and it was awful. Hilarious now, but awful. Heeheehee.


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## felix23 (Nov 7, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kidzaplenty* 
Well, it was quite ingenious. Big brother put him in his seat. And since I had not pulled out a coat for him yet (all my winter toddler stuff was still packed up) he just had the blanket wrapped around each leg (like a mummy), so he buckled him in blanket and all. I never would have thought to do it quite like that, but appearently it worked. But was quite embarrassing when I unwrapped a nakey baby in the chiro's office full of patients.









I would have loved to have seen a picture of that! Your son has some amazing blanket wrapping skills since he got both the legs and arms wrapped up to the point that he had the baby strapped in and nobody could notice. Does he do origami by any chance?!







I have no blanket wrapping skills, I can't even swaddle properly.


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## Mama2Jesse (Jan 5, 2009)

Hppmh. I *never* make mistakes or get distracted, so there's no possible way for me to contribute to this thread....









Yeah right, lol. He's only fourteen months, so at this point it's "I forgot to put a diaper back on him and let him crawl around nakey for a good half hour before I noticed". Oh, and there was the bookstore.

I'm sitting there with my five month old, trying to read but he is UNHAAPPY. I am stranded there because Dh went to Autozone to change something on the car. He is not answering his phone. Crud.

So I am trying to comfort the teething baby while teenagers the next aisle over critique my parenting (kind of wanted to ask them where their mother's were, lol). Suddenly, I smell poo. Well, I shouild have smelled it a long time ago because it is coming out the neck of his hoodie, all over my sleeve, down his pants legs. OMG. Run to bathroom (after finding someone to unlock it) to find the changing table is broken and swinging there uselessly. Oh, and somehow all that is in the bag is a diaper and not nearly enough wipes, no clothes. Dh arrived to find me looking shellshocked and nakey baby wrapped in a blanket. It's forty degrees out.

Fail. LOL


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## neetling (Jan 24, 2006)

When our third child was a newborn the very first time I took all three out on an errand was awful. I took them grocery shopping. I'm wearing the baby in a sling and pushing my 4 and almost 3 year old in one of those giant car cart things. My oldest had taken in a special rock and I had warned her to hang on to it because I wasn't going to go looking all over the store for it. Well, she dropped it and despite going back through the store trying to find it, we couldn't.

So she's a howling mess. The baby starts screaming. I'm desperately trying to check out and get out of there (it was a 30 minute drive to town and I just wanted to get our groceries and go). An older gentleman comes up and I have no idea what he's saying to my older kids, whether it's nice or not, but it starts my almost 3 year old screaming because she doesn't like strangers.

I not very nicely told him that he wasn't helping the situation and to please leave them alone because my DD didn't like strangers.

So I am there, all 3 are screaming.

I wanted to cry too.


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## zech13_9_goforgold (Jun 24, 2008)

I'm not a mom, yet, but I'm learning a lot from your stories:

1) always bring extra clothes for you and every kid

2) always check your diaper/wipe collection before leaving the house

3) always have a spare key

I have to share a story about me embarrassing my dad in public. I was only six months old on my first Christmas, but my dad is deturmined to take me Christmas shopping for my mom (two presents in one that way). I had some little pink snow boots on, but they wouldn't stay on my feet. So, he's carrying me in one arm, with the shoes in that hand and bags of stuff in his other arm. And, all the ladies that were out shopping that day kept giving him bad looks and reminding him that "babies need to be dressed warmly in the winter time too." He was really embarrassed, so he finally goes into a store and buys some duct tape and tapes them onto my feet (just using the duct tape to tighten the shoes, not actually putting tape on my skin). But, that didn't stop the comments or the looks. Poor daddy.

Oh, and can I tell another family's story- I can tell it in just a few words. Packed mini van with visiting relatives. Toddler in the car seat. "Look, corn."


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## bscal (Feb 13, 2006)

I am totally LOL over here at these! I have quite a few good ones.

Older DD - When she was about 18 mos old we nicknamed her Houdini. We'd put her down for a nap in a snapped up onesie, feetsie pj's turned backwards etc. and she'd be stark naked when she got up. So we're in Wal-Mart one day and she's sitting in the grocery cart all buckled in. I turn to compare prices on various brands of cereal for approximately 60 seconds. When I hear the other ppl in the aisle start to chuckle a bit I turn back around and this child is completely naked. Still buckled into the cart but naked. Her diaper, turtleneck onesie (my attempt at keeping her dressed) and jeans are on the floor. She was still wearing her socks and shoes. Although *I* had to remove those to put her jeans back on so I have no idea how she got them off.

Younger DD - The young man behind us in line at the grocery store had rather long hair. So my DD (3 1/2 at the time) says to him "You need to get a haircut - you look silly! Don't you know girls have long hair and boys have short hair?" I was horrified... the young man's father thought it was very funny! I tried to shush her... but she kept on telling him to go get a haircut. I did try to explain that just because in our family the boys have short hair doesn't mean that all boys have to... oh well!

DS - At the Christian preschool end of the year program and graduation last Spring (he had just turned 2) he reached up and goosed the bottom of the lady sitting in front of DH right as the minister started a prayer. I really wished there was room for me under my chair... *sigh. Then he tried to do it again 2 more times! Little stinker!

There, an embarrassing public moment for each of my kids that don't involve poop. That was my goal, to attempt to tell good ones without using any poop stories. I've got plenty of those though!

Beth


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## choosewisdom (Apr 29, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zech13_9_goforgold* 
I'm not a mom, yet, but I'm learning a lot from your stories:


It is always good to learn from others' errors. I know when my Kait was little, I was CONSTANTLY worried I would forget her somewhere. Thanks to my mom always telling me when I was small about when she had my oldest sister, she was determined to not have an unprepared moment out in public, so she meticulously packed the diaper bag, a carrier, sling, placed extra outfits for her and my sister in the trunk, and trotted off to the store. She said she was in the produce department when someone came up to her and asked why she had all her baby stuff but no baby.

She left my sister at home asleep on the bed for 20 minutes whilst she was out shopping with her carefully prepared luggage.


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## EnviroBecca (Jun 5, 2002)

Gosh, I really don't have any poop stories! Guess we chose the right brand of diaper covers for our shape of baby!

But because my son and I commute by public transit every day, we have had many awkward moments out in the public eye when both of us were tired after a long day. Here's the one that comes to mind: When he was 2, I found myself staggering across a university lawn (from one bus route to the other) carrying him by approximately one wrist and the other ankle or whatever I could grab as he writhed angrily and shrieked, "I DON'T WANT A BIRD TO EAT IT!!!!!!!!!" and also carrying two bulky tote bags, carrying my son's sock in my teeth, and wearing his little blue parka on my head, while he was wearing just a T-shirt and pants and one shoe and sock in ~15-degree weather. There were all these 19-year-olds outside smoking and sneering at me, and then I passed a well-dressed older couple who stared at me with such horror and judgment that I spat out the sock and yelled, "Yes, I'm a TERRIBLE MOTHER!! Okay? Just terrible!"

It was not my finest moment. Or my child's.

You see, he had been eating trail mix while we waited to cross a busy 6-lane street, and just before the light changed he dropped one single oaty-O on the sidewalk, so as I led him across the street he started complaining that he wanted to go back and get his O; I explained that we do not eat things off the sidewalk, but don't worry, a bird will eat it and be thankful for it; that was not acceptable to him, and after a few minutes on the sidewalk trying to reason with him, I agreed to go back to get the O, but in that time (with many pedestrians in the area) it had vanished; after a few minutes searching for it in the dark (I mean, under streetlights at 6:30pm in January) and snow, I insisted that it was time to go home. He then took off his shoe and coat to demonstrate that we could not possibly leave the area; I stuck the shoe into my bag, but the coat wouldn't fit. Then his sock came off during his attempts to knee me in the throat. What a terrible mother I am.









But if I saw another family in that situation, I would find it pretty funny







and feel sympathetic and try to help. Like the time I held open the door of a turnpike service plaza for a daddy struggling to hold a child who was kicking him in the stomach while screaming, "I AM NOT A BRAT!!!"


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## peainthepod (Jul 16, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *EnviroBecca* 
Like the time I held open the door of a turnpike service plaza for a daddy struggling to hold a child who was kicking him in the stomach while screaming, "I AM NOT A BRAT!!!"


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## Fuamami (Mar 16, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zinemama* 
I was in the restroom at the library and since my ds was a toddler, I'd taken him into the stall with me.

He chose the moment when my pants were around my ankles to demonstrate that he was able to unlatch the door. It was a stiff door that didn't swing shut, but stayed open. Let's just say the library patrons waiting their turn got an eyeful.

This is my worst fear. I've held it for hours just because I'm so afraid of my kid opening the door and running off while I'm peeing. Or I just hold them, screaming, the whole time.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *neetling* 
When our third child was a newborn the very first time I took all three out on an errand was awful. I took them grocery shopping. I'm wearing the baby in a sling and pushing my 4 and almost 3 year old in one of those giant car cart things.

When ds2 was a baby I had him in the sling and the older two were in one of those car carts. It was really enclosed, so I couldn't really see them unless I went up to the front of the cart. So we checked out, loaded all our groceries, and I pushed the cart out to the van and went to get the kids out and put them in the car, only to realize they weren't there! Apparently they had climbed out to look at the vending machines and I'd never noticed. I was wondering why they were being so quiet! I was also kind of peeved that no one noticed the random preschooler and toddler without parents, but kind of relieved, too.


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## KristaDJ (May 30, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *EnviroBecca* 
But if I saw another family in that situation, I would find it pretty funny







and feel sympathetic and try to help. Like the time I held open the door of a turnpike service plaza for a daddy struggling to hold a child who was kicking him in the stomach while screaming, "I AM NOT A BRAT!!!"


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## texmama (Jun 4, 2005)

We were at the Christmas Eve service, dd was 2.5 yo (and fascinated by having a new baby brother, with baby brother parts) chose the quietest time of the service to ask in a very loud voice "did baby Jesus have a penis?"


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## Fuamami (Mar 16, 2005)

Oh and just the other day we were meeting dd at the bus. She got off and I bent over to give her a kiss with my back to the bus. Right then ds1 decided to come up and whack me in the butt with his "sword" (stick) super hard, right in front of the bus and the cars that were waiting.


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## Bookworm? (Aug 16, 2006)

I finally thought of one.
We were on a family vacation listening to a presentation at a wildlife preserve. The children were all gathered around the lady in front talking about the animals and the adults were standing towards the back. The lady was talking about how some animals like raccoons are scavengers and will get into your trash. She asked what do you have a lot of in your trash. Kids were calling out things like eggshells, watermelon rinds, apples cores etc. Our dd, then 3.5, said very proudly "Beer cans". Everyone chuckled and looked around to see who her parents were. We chuckled and looked around too! It was still kind of embarrassing.


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## Stephenie (Oct 11, 2007)

I remembered another one... a few months ago, ds looked and my mom and said "Grandma has a chin," then looked at her again and said "No. Grandma has chins" with a lot of emphasis on the "s." My mom is bigger and does in fact have a double chin.


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## Violet2 (Apr 26, 2007)

I have one from tonight...

DD calls chocolate 'cock-late'. I bought her some M&Ms and as we were leaving the store and she was fussing, wanting immediate gratification, I said out loud in front of everyone, "I'll give you some cock-late in just a second."










V


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## GreenGranolaMama (Jul 15, 2009)

So after reading I have decided that what this thread needs is...another poop story! DS is still pretty young (6mo) but I have to share this...when he was 4 mo I took him to the beach with some of my friends. To get to our "secret spot" you have to wade through some water that comes up to my waist, so I put DS in the mei tai, no problem. DS and I were hanging out in the shade, watching everyone swim, when I noticed he needed a diaper change. I didn't bring another and was not about to walk all the way back to the car, so I just let him chill out on my lap naked...and of corse got pooped on only moments after taking the diaper off...lovely BF baby poo all over my lap...so DS and I just went, caught a few waves together, and washed off...but I could tell my childless friends were pretty grossed out...


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## Purple*Lotus (Nov 1, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *texmama* 
We were at the Christmas Eve service, dd was 2.5 yo (and fascinated by having a new baby brother, with baby brother parts) chose the quietest time of the service to ask in a very loud voice "did baby Jesus have a penis?"









You win! That is the funniest ever! IMHO


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## Purple*Lotus (Nov 1, 2007)

I don't have kids of my own, but I have one from when I was a Nanny.

I had just gotten married and kept a wedding picture in my day planner. My Nanette must have taken it out one day because I never saw it again. Months went by. My employers have Nanette at Mass and she carried a little girl's purse with her. In the middle of mass she gets up and starts showing every pew Miss J's "Princess picture." She kept walking up to people saying "J was a princess, look! A real life princess!"







And here is her Mother chasing her down trying to get her, but she was too quick and hit about 10 pews before her Mom caught her


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## boysmom2 (Jan 24, 2007)

These are cracking me up!

I thought of a couple:

When DS1 was little (18mo, maybe?) he and my sister and I went shopping together. All 3 of us where in the fitting room while my sis tried on clothes. She put on a pair of pants and just nonchalantly said something about not liking them because they made her look chubby. About 30min later we were in line waiting to pay. DS, who spoke VERY clearly pointed to the overweight woman in line ahead of us and VERY loudly said "Chubby!! Chubby, chubby, chubby!!!" He was very proud of his new word.

When DS had just turned 2, he and I flew across the country to visit my parents. During the flight, they made the announcement about how beverage service would begin soon. "Pop and juice are free... beer and wine are $X... etc." As soon as the announcement was over and it was quiet on the plane, he stood up on his seat and announced loudly that "My daddy drinks beer and he shares it with me!" (For the record, DH only drinks beer occasionally and has never shared it with any of our kids!)

I know there are more...


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## MandyB (Oct 9, 2006)

OMG, these are too funny! I needed a good laugh tonight.









My all time MOST embarrassing moment was when my first child was a baby. I went to one of those "new moms groups" where we all sat around in a circle and talked about whatever questions we had with our babies that week, etc. This particular week there was a new woman sitting next to me who I SWEAR was on crack...but who knows. She was an extremely loud woman who would interrupt the other moms with some strange comments. Anyway, I'm sitting there quietly listening to one of the moms talk about whatever, and nursing my baby boy. He had just started that stage of nursing where if if he thought something interesting was going on, he would pull off the breast to check it out. The next thing I know, the new lady next to me JUMPS up and starts Yelling, "AHHHH YOU'RE SQUIRTING BREASTMILK ON ME!!!! AHHHH!!!!"

Apparently, DS had heard something interesting and pulled of the breast, but the flow just kept on flowin' right on over to squirt the lady next to me! I was so mortified I thought I might die of embarrassment right then and there. Especially since she made SUCH a big deal about it in front of everyone! LOL


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## Theoretica (Feb 2, 2008)

omg these are great! I've got plenty, I'll be back!


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## minmoto2 (Dec 23, 2004)

My 2 dds & I were shopping at The Rack for shoes. My dds loved to try on all the funky shoes they find..so ok, it keeps them busy while I try some on







I am busy shopping when I glance over to my 4yo dd2 holding up a leopard print pump...she exclaims loudly "Mama, Mama! These are just like your underwear you have on!"
I could here low laughter roll aisle after aisle. ugh.


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## Krisis (May 29, 2008)

This one isn't mine but it kills me.

During the quietest part of our church service, a little two year old girl ran away from her parents and up onto the pulpit area. Her dad finally caught her and when he picked her up she was fighting so he started walking down the looong aisle to take her outside to calm down. As he walked she started screaming: "pray for me! PRAY FOR MEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!"

Oh man. The hilarity.


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## alexsam (May 10, 2005)

I swear. OK. I admit it.

When DS1 was about 2 or 3, we were in an airport, struggling to get all our junk into an elevator. The doors ended up closing with me and my son and our suitcases and a bunch of other people, but with DH on the outside (he'd just wait for the next one).

The doors close and my son goes "Oh F*CK!"








.


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## Frootloop (Aug 10, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alexsam* 
I swear. OK. I admit it.

When DS1 was about 2 or 3, we were in an airport, struggling to get all our junk into an elevator. The doors ended up closing with me and my son and our suitcases and a bunch of other people, but with DH on the outside (he'd just wait for the next one).

*The doors close and my son goes "Oh F*CK!"*








.

First, I have to say that I adore this thread!!!









Since you brought up the lovely "F" word, I have to share my most embarrassing moment involving pretty much the same word.









This wasn't my own child that did this, it was my ex-fiance's DS (we'll call him Bob), who was the same age as my son, 5 years old.
I had both boys with me while shopping in Walmart one afternoon. Now, Bob was quite the demanding child and also had some speech issues. Stupid me stopped to look at something across from the toy aisle, where on an endcap, there was this oh so pretty TRUCK that Bob wanted asap.. "truck" was our most hated word. Let me explain why.

Bob says, "oooooooh, Dee... I want it"...
I say.. "no, Bob, you don't need a truck today, honey".

*enter speech issue*

Bob - "but I want the fruck"...

Me - "shhhhhhhhhh.. no, you don't need that truck today, let's go get blah blah"
My DS says, "my mom said you can't have it today".
Bob yells, "BUT I WANNA FRUCK NOW, DEEEEEEEEEEE".










Now, with a yelling child, "fruck" just doesn't come out very well. It umm, sounds more like "f*ck". I seriously could have died right then and there. Luckily, very few people were near us. I got a couple looks of horror, but mostly hysterical laughter by the one lady who had heard the whole thing from start to finish.


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## mamadebug (Dec 28, 2006)

DS was about 18 months, and we were waiting for our food from a Mexican take out place. It was lunch time, so it was pretty crowded - lots of other people standing around waiting. A very drunk, stumbling homeless man (who looked nothing like DH) was walking through the parking lot right near where we were waiting. DS started waving and yelling loudly, "Daddy, Daddy, hi Daddy" over and over. Everyone was looking at us. Of course, you feel kind of pathetic contradicting a toddler - especially when his reaction was so strong! I felt this mix of embarrassment and need to explain to everyone that that wasn't his daddy, DS had never even seen DH drunk or stumbling before.....


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## Rainbow2911 (Dec 16, 2004)

My aunt had a lovely one with her little boy. She was on a train and some of the newer trains have these complicated toilets with buttons to press to lock, open and close the doors electronically. Some genius decided to put said buttons at small child height well out of reach of a person sitting on the toilet.... I'm sure you see where this is going. My poor aunt was sitting on the toilet while her toddler happily opened and closed the door to a crowded train!









When my youngest was born my dd was 2.5 and very taken with the whole process of pregnancy and birth. She had watched a few birth videos with my to prepare her incase she was awake when the baby came. A few weeks after he was born she announced to a queue of people in a supermarket that 'my baby came out of my mummys bottom just like a poo'. Lovely.
I had another horrible moment that week when shopping with the three kids and my ex. Never a recipe for a great day out at the best of times. But ds1, who was four had a sudden attack of the runs and was covered. So ex offered to take him to the car and clean him up while I stayed inside with the baby and dd as it was Febuary and pouring with rain. We were fine for about a minute and a half, tearing around after dd trying to keep her from emptying shelves. Then ds2 got tierd and fed up. He was in his carrier but when tierd like to be held in a quiet spot to calm down. But this wasn't going to happen in a shop with a busy two year old. I tried everything to calm him down which just wound him further up. So I was stuck in a shop, waiting for my ex to come back so we could go home, chasing a toddler with a screaming baby. And can that boy scream! And just to make things better some snotty woman came up and told me that I should take 'that' outside. In the freezing rain, with a newborn and a small child. Nice! Needless to say it was a while before I went out shopping again....


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## leighi123 (Nov 14, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kidzaplenty* 
OK, not too long ago, once upon a time...

We were running late, and I was in a really big hurry. The baby (16months) was still napping and we had an appointment. So, I tell big brother to quickly wrap him up in the blanket and get him to the car as I rush all the other children out. It is about 40 degrees outside.

So, we get to the chiro's office, and when I completely unwrap Baby, he is nakey!









I never thought to check and see if he was dressed as I just assumed he was when he went to nap. Boy! Did I have some 'splaining to do!









How could he be strapped into the carseat all wrapped up in a blanket? He would have to be unwrapped to get buckled in....

ETA: I saw your response, still a little scary b/c the carseat straps must have been super loose to strap him in with the blanket on, puffy stuff like blankets and coats are NOT safe under the harness in carseats.


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## Oonah (Jul 28, 2004)

The other day at the market, in the very crowded produce section.....my 5yo loudly reminded me to buy brown hairy balls (taro root)







I didn't even look up to see who may have heard that.


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## caj (Nov 7, 2009)

I took DD with me to DH's office to have lunch, DH's boss is bald and DD pointed at him screaming "DADDY MR CLEAN IS REAL!!"


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## KristaDJ (May 30, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *leighi123* 
How could he be strapped into the carseat all wrapped up in a blanket? He would have to be unwrapped to get buckled in....

ETA: I saw your response, still a little scary b/c the carseat straps must have been super loose to strap him in with the blanket on, puffy stuff like blankets and coats are NOT safe under the harness in carseats.

I've TRIED to put a naked baby in a carseat wrapped with a receiving blanket between their skin and the seat belt (poop accident, unprepared new mom







) and it was not happening. I can't imagine this working at all.

Unless you're using a comforter blankets aren't really puffy.


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## MamaChicken (Aug 21, 2006)

Not a poop story!

A few months after the twins were born, a friend at work was cross-stitching something for them and asked for me to write down their first name, middle name, birth date, weights, heights, etc. I started to write it all down and completely forgot their middle names! I actually had to call DH and ask him what they were.


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## littleteapot (Sep 18, 2003)

When DD was about three we were starting to teach about hurting someone's feelings, and really be sticklers about empathy. DD has aspergers so this is something that was difficult for her to wrap her head around.

We often went to this big playground by the house while I was massively pregnant: it was an easy way for her to have fun and be occupied for a while, plus it was a short walk from the house.
We'd be there for about 30-40 minutes and then go home. Sometimes she really wanted to stay longer but I could only sit there for so long...

Anyway: one day I do the typical countdown, "Ten minutes til we go!", "Five minutes!", "One minute!", "Get ready!" and finally, "Okay honey, we're going home! Say goodbye to your friends!"

And she had a total, complete meltdown. I tried to reason with her, but it was clear this wasn't going well. As she stood there screeching at me I started becoming aware of how many people were staring with disapproval.
I decided to be firm: I marched over there and took her by the hand. She ripped it away from me so I had to take her by the arm. "That's enough. Let's go!" I said.
She went completely dead weight, tipped back her head and SHRIEKED. She intended to say, "You're hurting my feelings" (what with all those nasty rules I have...) but instead screamed, "MOMMY YOU'RE HURTING ME! STOP HURTING ME!"

And suddenly I was so very, very aware of the 20 different people now staring at me holding onto my screaming child's arm in the middle of the playground.

I was so embarrassed. I picked her up in my arms and walked home. The entire way she hit, kicked and bit me... all while screaming, "YOU'RE HURTING ME! STOP HURTING ME!" at the top of her lungs.
I swear to god every single house I passed opened a door or window and a head poked out to give me a disapproving stare.

I never wanted to leave the house again.

----------------

This one isn't so embarrassing, but it was cute.

When my son was about three weeks old I took nightly walks to help him sleep. One such night was very cold so I had him in a wrap, then zipped in my coat. Almost completely up! The residential road was quite dark and there weren't any streetlamps. I was walking down the middle of it (no traffic) at about 7pm with my sleepy newborn when suddenly he started to whine, and then cry. He still had that "newborn baby cry" but it sounded kind of weird while wrapped inside my coat while I struggled to discreetly pull out a boob somewhere within the folds of fabric.
I passed by a pair of little girls playing in their front yard. They stopped and watched me passed, then called out, "What have you got in your coat?"
"A baby!" I replied.
They looked at each other, listened to the muffled attempts to nurse and hesitantly replied, "A baby _what_?"


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## William's Mom (Oct 6, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *texmama* 
We were at the Christmas Eve service, dd was 2.5 yo (and fascinated by having a new baby brother, with baby brother parts) chose the quietest time of the service to ask in a very loud voice "did baby Jesus have a penis?"


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## William's Mom (Oct 6, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *littleteapot* 
When my son was about three weeks old I took nightly walks to help him sleep. One such night was very cold so I had him in a wrap, then zipped in my coat. Almost completely up! The residential road was quite dark and there weren't any streetlamps. I was walking down the middle of it (no traffic) at about 7pm with my sleepy newborn when suddenly he started to whine, and then cry. He still had that "newborn baby cry" but it sounded kind of weird while wrapped inside my coat while I struggled to discreetly pull out a boob somewhere within the folds of fabric.
I passed by a pair of little girls playing in their front yard. They stopped and watched me passed, then called out, "What have you got in your coat?"
"A baby!" I replied.
They looked at each other, listened to the muffled attempts to nurse and hesitantly replied, "A baby _what_?"

I can't stop laughing at that!


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## Julia'sMom (Mar 12, 2007)

DD is newly potty trained and since we haven't had accidents, I no longer bring along spare pants, undies, etc. So...we're driving to church for the kids choir practice and dd has a sippy cup of chocolate milk with her. Somehow she manages to dump it all over her pants and the car seat. Since I don't have a change of clothes, I strip off her pants and undies and put her in the choir robe for practice. Meanwhile, I am desperately trying to figure out how to dry out her pants before we leave. Come to find out, there are no hand dryers in the church bathrooms. I end up microwaving the pants to dry them. The kitchen smelled like hot chocolate from teh chocolate milk being cooked. Unfortunately, the new pastor then decides to stop by the kitchen for a drink. I could have died trying to explain that one.


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## EnviroBecca (Jun 5, 2002)

Quote:

During the quietest part of our church service, a little two year old girl ran away from her parents and up onto the pulpit area. Her dad finally caught her and when he picked her up she was fighting so he started walking down the looong aisle to take her outside to calm down. As he walked she started screaming: "pray for me! PRAY FOR MEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!"










I just remembered another family's funny/embarrassing story: About 10 years ago, I was in a dollar store, and also there were a teenaged couple with their baby about a year old riding on mom's hip. The parents were checking out the merchandise and grumbling to one another about how "crappy" it was. After a while...
MOM: Ugh! Look at THIS!
BABY:







Crappy!!
MOM: Yeah, it is-- Hey! You said a word! Honey, did you hear that?!
DAD: Yeah!







Your first word!
MOM: Ohh...his first word is "crappy"...








DAD:







It's okay, honey, he is learning our values!


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## butterfly_mommy (Oct 22, 2007)

Ok I just had an emberassing moment this morning.

DS and I went out this morning to pick up some groceries and stop at the bulk store, these stores are in our block. DS wanted to walk but I also wanted to bring the stroller as a back-up, containment unit







Anyway we had a pretty good hour of DS helping me shop and walking most of the time. So we were going to stop at Starbucks for a coffee for mama and the park on our way home.

I go into the Starbucks with DS walking and me pushing the stroller, it was busy and it is a small Starsbucks there is a line of about 4 people, first off I have to remind DS a few times to not touch the packaged food that is right at his level (thanks Starbucks







). We are next to order and I spot a basket of packages of two natural organic vanilla cookies so I say (stupidly







) "Oh should we get some cookies?" DS says "Yeah" and then "Cookies" I say ok we have to pay for them first" and DS starts crying "cookies, cookies, cookies" and reaches up to the counter, pushing between the guy infront of us and the counter, I let go of the stroller to reach for DS, my stroller decides at that moment to tip back and smash my bag of groceries on the ground (thank you to the guy who helped me pick it up). Everyone is starring at us, another worker comes over to take our order (I order a coffee only as I am not in the mood to buy cookies now







) DS is now going ballistic screaming COOKIES, COOKIES ,COOKIES at the top of his lungs and screeching (and this boy is deafening loud) and crying and wont follow me (he is still at the counter, I put my coffee on the creaming station and go retrieve him, he is hitting, kicking and screaming "COOKIES...AHHHHH COOKIES" I wrestle him into the stroller and buckle him up. turn and quickly put cream in my coffee and a lid on it and run from the Starbucks with my face red, my sunglasses falling of my head, my hair disheveled, my toddler freaking out, and everyone staring at me







I then had to walk down the very busy street to our street with lots of disproving stares of people walking past me.









The crazy thing is he has hardly ever had cookies, I am sure there were lots of people thinking "There is another over sugared bratty kids"


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## sleepingbeauty (Sep 1, 2007)

I'm good for getting the girls ready to go, hair, shoes, the whole thing and running out of the house with no shoes on... *blush*

There was also the time that we went to my mother's house and met up with my grandma and everyone. We were getting out plates ready so I made one up for the 2 year old, the one year old would share a plate with my friend and then I go to make myself a plate. A tiny bit of carrots, a tiny bit of meat. It took my grandma coming over and asking me if that was MY plate for me to realize I was preparing a toddler-sized plate for myself!

Ah, the joys lol

We haven't had any poopy problems in public yet. Then again, now that I've said it, that'll be it next time! aaahhh!!!


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## lynsage (Jul 13, 2004)

My mother is very religious and has pretty big issues with Halloween, witches, etc. So this year, my daughter, myself, and future MIL were all witches for Halloween, and to prepare my daughter for the inevitable disapproval of my mother, I explained to DD that Grammy has beliefs that preclude her from enjoying Halloween and witch costumes, and we need to respect those beliefs and not get in her face about the issue.

It doesn't help that I myself am a pagan-ish nature worshipper, although I'm not Wiccan, so there is a lot of unspoken tension about that with my mother...so in the weeks leading up to Halloween, I explained to my daughter that there are people who do call themselves witches and that Grammy's beliefs give her the impression that those people are bad or scary, and it's not Grammy's fault that she's just uninformed about Wiccans. I showed her some information about Wiccans and let her look at a video of a grounding meditation led by Starhawk. She reported back to my mother that I was giving her "witch lessons"! I went back and watched the meditation again and Starhawk sure does say that if you want to be a witch, you have to learn how to ground yourself....Whoops







I have always let the kidlet explore her own spirituality, so she has been having a lot of fun checking out her "spells", etc. for the last month or so.

So this past weekend at her birthday party, I left the room to put my contacts in, and as I'm standing there with my finger in my eye, I hear my daughter making an impassioned speech telling everyone in the entire family that her Grammy is crazy, witches aren't evil or bad, they're nice people who like nature and healing, and that she is a Wiccan!

DP and I were mortified at the time, but we laughed our butts off after the guests left and have taken to calling the incident DD's "Let my Wiccans go" speech.


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## whitneymum (Dec 29, 2008)

**oh for the love of pete will you lay off the poor mama with the naked babe wrapped in a blanket by the big brother & put in the carseat ...cut a mama some slack, sisters..seriously no one out here is a perfect parent**

now on to the funny...middle DS was about 3 and still pretty hard to understand his speech...except for this one very public time...we were in a fancy kiddy boutique*yeah that doesn't happen that often* and I was talking to another mother who had engaged me about a toy I was looking at, middle DS walks up and asks to buy said toy..I tell him "no sweetie, not today"..he pauses for a moment then exclaims in his very loud and clearest yet voice.." well DAAAAMM-MMMMIT" and walks off...needless to say the other mom made a hasty excuse to leave...
I almost never curse in front of my kiddos...almost*ahem*

and my other fav..I was a single mom with my first DS and hadn't dated at all for about 3 yrs...DS1 had just turned three and I met a wonderful man (now my DH) and he had taken us out for a fun kid movie and afterward wants to bring us to as little cafe for dessert. Well it's Saturday night and he choses this cute as heck cafe/bakery that is full of people. So we snag a table by the door, sit down, get a coffee and a yummy..and my DS annouces he has to go pee. My date , the future DH, being all cute and working to impress me (we'd been dateing a few months) says "it's okay, I'll take him"..so off they trot to the men's bathroom..that my son has never entered before. I'm left sitting and wondering how this will go...they seem to be gone for awhile..then I spot DS trying to walk through the huge crowd of folks who are standing near the counter and talking, he gets about 20 feet from me then in the loudest voice exclaims "MAMA!!! ALL THESE MEN PEE STANDING UP!!!!!!!" while gestering widely with his hands at the crowd.. like it ws the greatest revelation he has ever had...the grin on his face was HUGE...he gets about 10 feet closer and finished this tale of triumph with "MOM!! I PEED IN A JOURNAL" (urinal) The entire place fell silent while future DH and I tried to control our laughter and my wee boy just grinned and grinned


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## sleepingbeauty (Sep 1, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *whitneymum* 
**oh for the love of pete will you lay off the poor mama with the naked babe wrapped in a blanket by the big brother & put in the carseat ...cut a mama some slack, sisters..seriously no one out here is a perfect parent**

now on to the funny...middle DS was about 3 and still pretty hard to understand his speech...except for this one very public time...we were in a fancy kiddy boutique*yeah that doesn't happen that often* and I was talking to another mother who had engaged me about a toy I was looking at, middle DS walks up and asks to buy said toy..I tell him "no sweetie, not today"..he pauses for a moment then exclaims in his very loud and clearest yet voice.." well DAAAAMM-MMMMIT" and walks off...needless to say the other mom made a hasty excuse to leave...
I almost never curse in front of my kiddos...almost*ahem*

and my other fav..I was a single mom with my first DS and hadn't dated at all for about 3 yrs...DS1 had just turned three and I met a wonderful man (now my DH) and he had taken us out for a fun kid movie and afterward wants to bring us to as little cafe for dessert. Well it's Saturday night and he choses this cute as heck cafe/bakery that is full of people. So we snag a table by the door, sit down, get a coffee and a yummy..and my DS annouces he has to go pee. My date , the future DH, being all cute and working to impress me (we'd been dateing a few months) says "it's okay, I'll take him"..so off they trot to the men's bathroom..that my son has never entered before. I'm left sitting and wondering how this will go...they seem to be gone for awhile..then I spot DS trying to walk through the huge crowd of folks who are standing near the counter and talking, he gets about 20 feet from me then in the loudest voice exclaims "MAMA!!! ALL THESE MEN PEE STANDING UP!!!!!!!" while gestering widely with his hands at the crowd.. like it ws the greatest revelation he has ever had...the grin on his face was HUGE...he gets about 10 feet closer and finished this tale of triumph with "MOM!! I PEED IN A JOURNAL" (urinal) The entire place fell silent while future DH and I tried to control our laughter and my wee boy just grinned and grinned









that is FANTASTIC! lol


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## Fuamami (Mar 16, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MamaChicken* 
Not a poop story!

A few months after the twins were born, a friend at work was cross-stitching something for them and asked for me to write down their first name, middle name, birth date, weights, heights, etc. I started to write it all down and completely forgot their middle names! I actually had to call DH and ask him what they were.









That is so cute! I remember those newborn blackouts, I imagine they're even worse with twins!


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## minmoto2 (Dec 23, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Fuamami* 
That is so cute! I remember those newborn blackouts, I imagine they're even worse with twins!

ha! I just remembered a very *bad mama* moment/blackout. A lil back ground...I have 2 older dds, 15yo & 10yo...very used to having girls. Well after 9years of ttc, we have our 1st ds!
Last xmas, my hubby and I were shopping for our dds ... then 2mo ds was sound asleep in the ring sling. The girl checking us out asked the usual babe questions..

Cashier: How old is your baby?

me: 2mo

Cashier: Boy or girl?

me: girl.

dh: lol umm no he's not!

me: omg, I mean boy, he's a boy









I felt sooo awful! haha, I stop to think about these questions now


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## boysmom2 (Jan 24, 2007)

I just remembered another one:

When DS2 was little (maybe around 2) we were out somewhere and I was trying to entertain him and keep him from running around. I had him on my lap and was tickling him a little and other silly things. At one point I put my wide open mouth against his back near his shoulder and blew hot air through his shirt onto his skin. He giggled and squirmed and said loudly, "That's hot mommy! Blow me again!"


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## ALittleBitCrunchy (Jan 8, 2005)

When my daughter was 3, we were at the zoo. I had to go to the bathroom and made her come with me as I was hoping to convince her to go then instead of 6 minutes later. It happened to be during my period and I use cloth pads. As I was sitting on the toilet, the following conversation occured:

DD: Mama, what's that? *gestures toward pad*
Me: It's a pad. Girls wear them when -
DD: I'm a girl and I don't wear that. It has poop on it. Eww!! It has poop on it!! It -
Me: It does NOT have poop on it. That's blood. (note - pad was a dark fabric so blood probably did look poop-colored) And it's -
DD: *shrieking loudly* Mama!! you have POOP IN YOUR PANTS!! Why do you have poop in your pants? That's YUCKY! Blech!
Me: I. Do. Not. Have. Poop. In. My. Pants. It's blood. This is a pad and it catches the blood. It's like a band-aid, sort of.
DD: No it's not. It's poop. I can see it.

I was done at this point and pushed her out of the stall ahead of me and walked to the sink to wash our hands. She is STILL carrying on about poop. The woman next to me laughs and I look up. There were probably 5-6 women waiting in line, plus women in all of the stalls. Every face I could see was amused. That day, every time one of them passed me, they probably thought, "Oh, there's the woman with poop in her pants."


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## MaterPrimaePuellae (Oct 30, 2007)

Well, of course, I have a number of poop/pee stories, but that genre seems pretty well covered!

I try to teach DD the proper names for body parts. She knows them pretty well, but her pronunciation isn't great. We were grocery shopping with my sister the other day, and DD asked (COMPLETELY randomly and _loudly_), "Aunt T-- do you have a fuweefra?"


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## momasana (Aug 24, 2007)

We were checking out at Target and DS told the cashier "Mommy tooted".


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## rightkindofme (Apr 14, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *boysmom2* 
I just remembered another one:

When DS2 was little (maybe around 2) we were out somewhere and I was trying to entertain him and keep him from running around. I had him on my lap and was tickling him a little and other silly things. At one point I put my wide open mouth against his back near his shoulder and blew hot air through his shirt onto his skin. He giggled and squirmed and said loudly, "That's hot mommy! Blow me again!"

I have tears running down my face because I am laughing so hard. AWESOME


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## jessjgh1 (Nov 4, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ALittleBitCrunchy* 
There were probably 5-6 women waiting in line, plus women in all of the stalls. Every face I could see was amused. That day, every time one of them passed me, they probably thought, "Oh, there's the woman with poop in her pants."









I hope you don't think they 'believed' your little one. I'm pretty sure they were all amused that she was your responsibility for the day. And very understanding of what you were trying to explain.
I've only been at home and I still haven't figured out how to explain the mama pads, occasional tampon, or the diva cup to my little ones. I'm either really scientific or I just try to get them distracted and to change the subject. They look like diapers to my 2 yo, lol, 'mommy wears diapers'

I do remember we had someone over to fix our furnace and my son (5) invited him up to his room for a tour and to see his trains. Anytime kids come over, he gives them a tour of the whole house, too, including the basement (which is not okay, I don't always get to cleaning the upstairs) Woops. To be fair, we had our house on the market for a while and my son knows our broker and took him around the house several times (initial appt, photos, etc)... and there was another time when our brokers coworkers took a tour, we happened to be on the way out as they were coming in, but ds was so excited, he walked around with them, showing them everything. That was appropriate... but it in NOT appropriate to invite random kids J & K in and show them your bedroom, the closets,mommy and daddy's room, and the furnace... Then I heard him say- "Oh, I forgot to show you the attic"

Oh, it was also amusing (for me) that the neighbor girl was quite puzzled about our sleeping arrangements. I cosleep w/ dd and Rebecca's room was introduced as Rebecca and Mommy's room.

Kids, you just always have to be a zillion steps ahead of them.

Jessica


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## LaughingHyena (May 4, 2004)

I was in the fitting room trying on a bra, when DD asked (in t he usual LOUD toddler voice) "can you fit all your nipples in there mummy?".I heard several people giggling.

Another story but not my child this time. We were sat in a quiet restaurant. It was early evening and there were mostly families with young children. Anyway this little boy walked out of the toilets with his trousers round his ankles and called across the room "mum I did a poo and need you to wipe me".


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## Super_mommy (Nov 13, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *larksongs* 
Ok this is pretty embarassing and happened while my son was not with me but it is a 'parenting thing'...

...Ok so I hadn't been out without my son , with other grown ups for at least a year, I am a sahm, homeschooler, I um don't get out much for myself , with friends without my son. That's fine but anyway, I was going out this day to the city with my two best girl friends. DH was home with my boy.

So we get out of the subway and it is Christmas time in the city very busy.We go to cross this street , I wait for the walk sign to come on, it does and without even thinking about it, just instinctual reaction, I take my girlfriends hands and was like 'Ok lets go"....then I quickly pulled away and slapped my forehead and was like "Sorry guys, just looking out for you being adults and all I know you need my help crossing the street."


My Mom does that even now, but I am fine with it. Its more a a comforting factor for me because she is getting old.


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## recremaicila (Oct 27, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *whitneymum* 
**oh for the love of pete will you lay off the poor mama with the naked babe wrapped in a blanket by the big brother & put in the carseat ...cut a mama some slack, sisters..seriously no one out here is a perfect parent**

now on to the funny...middle DS was about 3 and still pretty hard to understand his speech...except for this one very public time...we were in a fancy kiddy boutique*yeah that doesn't happen that often* and I was talking to another mother who had engaged me about a toy I was looking at, middle DS walks up and asks to buy said toy..I tell him "no sweetie, not today"..he pauses for a moment then exclaims in his very loud and clearest yet voice.." well DAAAAMM-MMMMIT" and walks off...needless to say the other mom made a hasty excuse to leave...
I almost never curse in front of my kiddos...almost*ahem*

*and my other fav..I was a single mom with my first DS and hadn't dated at all for about 3 yrs...DS1 had just turned three and I met a wonderful man (now my DH) and he had taken us out for a fun kid movie and afterward wants to bring us to as little cafe for dessert. Well it's Saturday night and he choses this cute as heck cafe/bakery that is full of people. So we snag a table by the door, sit down, get a coffee and a yummy..and my DS annouces he has to go pee. My date , the future DH, being all cute and working to impress me (we'd been dateing a few months) says "it's okay, I'll take him"..so off they trot to the men's bathroom..that my son has never entered before. I'm left sitting and wondering how this will go...they seem to be gone for awhile..then I spot DS trying to walk through the huge crowd of folks who are standing near the counter and talking, he gets about 20 feet from me then in the loudest voice exclaims "MAMA!!! ALL THESE MEN PEE STANDING UP!!!!!!!" while gestering widely with his hands at the crowd.. like it ws the greatest revelation he has ever had...the grin on his face was HUGE...he gets about 10 feet closer and finished this tale of triumph with "MOM!! I PEED IN A JOURNAL" (urinal) The entire place fell silent while future DH and I tried to control our laughter and my wee boy just grinned and grinned*









[ ^ especially the part I bolded ^] oh my goodness.

I'll be back, got to go blow my nose & get the rest of this latte out of there


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## recremaicila (Oct 27, 2009)

This whole thread had me laughing! A great start to the morning.


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## Marylizah (Jun 17, 2005)

I had such an embarrassing afternoon.

I'm soon to be in my 8th month of pregnancy. DS, 3.5, has come down with a nasty-sounding cough. No fever, no other symptoms, just runny nose + horrible dry cough.

Tomorrow we're leaving to go to family for Thanksgiving, and I need to bake an apple-rum cake today, except we have no rum.

So I take poor DS, hacking and coughing and occasionally sneezing to the grocery store. In my cart I have fresh ravioli, orange juice and a big ole bottle of rum.

Despite the fact that I pick a normally quiet moment of the day to go, the line takes FORFREAKINGEVER. DS hacks away. The woman in front of me looks at DS, looks at me, looks in my cart, and whispers something to her daughter. More waiting. More coughing. A store employee comes over and gives DS a stuffed animal (!!!) presumably because she feels sorry for him, being sick and with a pregnant lush for a mom. I think it was the longest 10 minutes of my life.

Fun times, fun times. Thanks to Swine Flu madness, I am getting the nastiest looks of my entire life while out in public with poor DS!


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## homeschoolingmama (Jun 15, 2007)

A few yrs ago my now 5yo would still see my husband naked while changing. She would then see while we changed her little brother. She would point out that Daddy has a big penis and Cohen has a little penis.
So we are out around a bunch of people and she says loudly to someone...My Daddy has a BIG penis! Now my husband was very embarrassed but I may have seen a bit of pride there. ahahaha. Kidding. It was pretty embarrassing!


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## Down2Earth (Jan 23, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *momasana* 
We were checking out at Target and DS told the cashier "Mommy tooted".

Oh my!


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## Veronika01 (Apr 16, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *homeschoolingmama* 
So we are out around a bunch of people and she says loudly to someone...My Daddy has a BIG penis! Now my husband was very embarrassed but I may have seen a bit of pride there. ahahaha. Kidding. It was pretty embarrassing!























Hilarious!!


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## QueenOfTheMeadow (Mar 25, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Marylizah* 
I had such an embarrassing afternoon.

I'm soon to be in my 8th month of pregnancy. DS, 3.5, has come down with a nasty-sounding cough. No fever, no other symptoms, just runny nose + horrible dry cough.

Tomorrow we're leaving to go to family for Thanksgiving, and I need to bake an apple-rum cake today, except we have no rum.

So I take poor DS, hacking and coughing and occasionally sneezing to the grocery store. In my cart I have fresh ravioli, orange juice and a big ole bottle of rum.

Despite the fact that I pick a normally quiet moment of the day to go, the line takes FORFREAKINGEVER. DS hacks away. The woman in front of me looks at DS, looks at me, looks in my cart, and whispers something to her daughter. More waiting. More coughing. A store employee comes over and gives DS a stuffed animal (!!!) presumably because she feels sorry for him, being sick and with a pregnant lush for a mom. I think it was the longest 10 minutes of my life.

Fun times, fun times. Thanks to Swine Flu madness, I am getting the nastiest looks of my entire life while out in public with poor DS!










I had a similar experience. I was 7 months pregnant with my second child, and we were having a party the next day. So I was at Wegmans in their liquor store after doing grocery shopping. I had my 2 year old with me, my big belly, and my dh. So we're picking out wine and liquor, and suddenly ds needs to use the bathroom. So dh takes him. As I'm getting to check out, dh comes back and says, "Geeze lady! I told you you need to cut down when you're pregnant. Oh yeah, your cigarettes are in the car." I got laughing so hard that I peed my pants a little and couldn't talk to explain to the chashier that that was my dh and he was just fooling around. Thankfully she caught on and started laughing too.


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## bluedaisy (Sep 5, 2008)

OMG, these are soooo funny!

My dd is only 12 months and I can't think of any with her...

But when I was about 8 or 9, I kept hearing a certain word and had no idea what it meant...

So I was in a large public restroom with my mom and older sister when I decided to try out my new word...

I yelled across the stalls, "Mom, you're a lesbian!!" My older sister couldn't stop laughing and my mom was so embarassed.


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## BarefootScientist (Jul 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *waiting2bemommy* 
I have also had to pick up turds from awkwards locations including a very crowded mcdonald's playplace, where another child came and told me that my ds had pooped in the tunnel. Of course I tried to play it off while I figured out what to do and said, "Are you sure he did it? There's lots of little babies here who are still learning to go potty." (which was true, with so many toddlers, I wasn' automatically sure it was him.) to which she replies very loud and clear, "Oh, no, he pulled his pants down and I saw it fall out of his butt!" Well, then. I guess that settles it. Then I had to crawl into the tunnel with paper towels to retrieve said turd, make my way to the bathroom through a crowd of preschoolers clamoring to see it, and then return with bleach water borrowed from management and climb into the tunnel a second time to disinfect. While all the moms and kids, now banned from the play structure, stood and waited below. no such thing as a quiet exit for me...









OMG! That is horrible.







I vote for this one being the most embarrassing so far.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *EnviroBecca* 









I just remembered another family's funny/embarrassing story: About 10 years ago, I was in a dollar store, and also there were a teenaged couple with their baby about a year old riding on mom's hip. The parents were checking out the merchandise and grumbling to one another about how "crappy" it was. After a while...
MOM: Ugh! Look at THIS!
BABY:







Crappy!!
MOM: Yeah, it is-- Hey! You said a word! Honey, did you hear that?!
DAD: Yeah!







Your first word!
MOM: Ohh...his first word is "crappy"...








DAD:







It's okay, honey, he is learning our values!


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## Down2Earth (Jan 23, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BarefootScientist* 
OMG! That is horrible.







I vote for this one being the most embarrassing so far.

I agree!!!


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## lach (Apr 17, 2009)

This thread is making me laugh out loud!

My most embarrassing story happened when DD was about 6 weeks old. I was feeling like I had this mothering thing down, so I decided to take her into the city (about 40 minutes from where we live) to enjoy the nice weather and meet DH for lunch. I got all dressed up, because I hadn't been leaving the house too much, and we drove in and I walked through the park and the major shopping district to DH's office and DD slept and I was feeling all pretty and confident and happy and like I was totally crackerjack at this whole "going out with baby" thing.

So I got to DH's office and he comes down to meet me and he says "Um, you know you're leaking, right?"

And I look down and I had apparently forgotten to wear my breast pads because my pretty shirt had two GIANT wet spots perfectly centered over each breast. And I'm talking GIANT: at least 5" across. I had been walking all over the city like that! I'm still mortified to think of it.

My family's screaming in church story involves going to the Christmas Eve service at our local church and my sister, who was I guess 2 or 3 yelling out "I know what that is! It's a lower-case T!" right in the middle of service. My parents made us start going to Sunday School after that LOL.


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## lach (Apr 17, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bluedaisy* 
OMG, these are soooo funny!

My dd is only 12 months and I can't think of any with her...

But when I was about 8 or 9, I kept hearing a certain word and had no idea what it meant...

So I was in a large public restroom with my mom and older sister when I decided to try out my new word...

I yelled across the stalls, "Mom, you're a lesbian!!" My older sister couldn't stop laughing and my mom was so embarassed.

Some older kid told me that sticking up your middle finger meant you liked someone. So I gave my little sister the finger, and my Dad got SOOO mad. He never believed me that I honestly thought it was a sign of affection! I have no memory of how old I was: but I was a pretty naive kid apparently!


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## funkymamajoy (May 25, 2008)

My most embarrassing (as in "I feel like an idiot") moment was when I locked my the 2-year in the car in Phoenix in front of daycare. I had to borrow their phone to call DH.

That's followed by the time I was leaving an AP park day by wrestling an over-tired and screaming DD into her carseat.

Also embarrassing (but more like "this would be funny if it happened to someone else") was the whole period when DS would say " fox" but it rhymed with "truck."


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## Lisa81 (Nov 26, 2009)

My son did poop on me in the tube AFTER bath
Luckyly we were both naked and so.......Bath again


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## pixiekisses (Oct 14, 2008)

Probably the first time my sweet little boy yelled "c*nt!" in public, while excitedly pointing at a butterfly. Yes, he managed to turn butterfly into c*nt. I have no idea how, he never hears such words here. But jeeez was that ever embarrassing (I was mortified).


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## Limabean1975 (Jan 4, 2008)

DS used to call avocado "gock" or "cock". So imagine the scene, the produce sectionj of the grocery store, DS yelling out "COCK! WANT COCK!"


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## LuxPerpetua (Dec 17, 2003)

Well, today dd (nearly 4)and I went out for a walk in our apt. complex and for whatever reason dd had come up with this elaborate plan for our shower once we got in (we shower together) in which she would construct a little room with our shower curtain so that I could shave my legs without getting wet. She's a very loud talker, especially when she gets excited, so here we are walking home with dd telling me in a super loud voice: SO MOMMY WHEN YOU'RE NAKED IN THE SHOWER AND ARE GOING TO SHAVE YOUR LEGS I'M GOING TO MAKE A ROOM FOR YOU FOR SHAVING YOUR HAIRY LEGS (she's very excitable and thinks as she talks so she says this over and over and over as she's thinking through it). Of course, as I round the corner I discover that there are a bunch of people gathered outside one of the buildings near ours (probably just arriving for someone's lovely Thanksgiving), and naturally, they heard every word my child was saying at the top of her lungs over and over again. They gave me the strangest looks, but thankfully I didn't mentally register that until after we had gotten home and then I realized they must have thought we were totally looney. I'm glad that I was quite oblivious or I would have turned purple.


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## Down2Earth (Jan 23, 2008)

This story wasn't an embarrassing moment for me but rather a stranger in the men's room. DH was in the men's room and it was really crowded, as in every stall full and a line of men waiting. Well, a father brings a kid maybe 2 or 3 yo and puts him on the changing table. The diaper is FULL of poop and really smelly and the dad is just getting down to business. And then the little kid says, "This SUCKS!" DH said there were a lot of chuckles and smiles after that. And the dad had to agree, it really did suck!


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## AmyB736 (Oct 21, 2006)

When my daughter, now 6, was a toddler, she picked up a sippy cup (not hers) and put it in her mouth. My immediate reaction was to scream "NOOO!" and I smacked it out of her hand. I was so disgusted! Ewwww!! I then realized how loud I was and looked up, embarrased. Everyone was staring at us.... But then she starts screaming and I turn back to comfort her and her mouth is gushing blood! I accidentally busted her lip! And here all of these people around me are thinking I just abused my daughter. I was so embarassed. And I felt like such a horrible, horrible Mom because I just hurt my daughter. Luckily it wasn't too bad, it stopped quickly and it didn't need stitches. And thankfully nobody misunderstood and called the police on me. Well, they probably misunderstood...it looked really bad. But the police never showed up.


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## 2xy (Nov 30, 2008)

When DS1 was five, my IL's were in town for a visit. The four of us, plus MIL and FIL, went to a buffet-type restaurant for lunch. When the waitress came around to refill our drinks, she smiled very sweetly at DS and asked him if he was enjoying his food.

He smiled just as sweetly back, and said, "Yeah, but you need your teeth straight." Really, what could I do but turn beet red and apologize? Actually, I think all four adults at the table turned beet red, and my (now ex-)H kicked DS under the table.









This one isn't mine, but it's hysterical. A co-worker of mine (J) occasionally takes her friend's almost-4yo daughter (L) out for the afternoon to give her friend a break. Last month when the weather started turning cooler, J took L to the playground and they were having a great time. L slid down the slide while J stood at the bottom, and when J "caught" her off the slide, she passed a little volt of static electricity. L jumped and said, "Ow, you hurt me!" J didn't think much of it....she just sort of chuckled and apologized.

After that, every time J tried to touch her or hold her hand, L would shout, "No! You'll hurt me!" "Don't touch me, you'll hurt me!" Stuff like that. Everybody at the park was staring at J and J wanted to hide in a hole.


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## aja-belly (Oct 7, 2004)

oh i have too many to count.

the many times we've been at playdates/playgroup and one of my kids has come out of some other room naked. "mommy i need you to wipe my buuuutt!" or "we're playing dress up!" or "but my clothes got pee on them"

about a year ago marvel went through a phase where we called her the "poop police". we would laugh at home, but in a public bathroom "mommy the lady with the red shoes is pooping!" or "mommy you said you had to pee but your POOPING!".

or when we were at vacation bible school and the dog puppet was talking about feeling the love of jesus in your heart and jet kept yelling out "hey! say 'for me to poop on!'" (thinking it was triumph the insult dog)

when the nurse at the ped's office asked what fox's name was and i said "ryan". ??

and when people ask the twins birthday i always say our anniversary (which was their due date - but 3 weeks after their birthday)

when i was huge pregnant with the twins and we spent the afternoon out and got home to discover i was wearing one blue croc and one black croc.

my number one top embarrassing parenting moment would be riding on the hospital bed down the hall from the labor/delivery room to the OR. gown pulled up, one leg up, baby's butt hanging out of my vagina for everyone to see. there was a man standing outside one of the other rooms and the look on his face still haunts me today.


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## SophieAnn (Jun 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aja-belly* 
my number one top embarrassing parenting moment would be riding on the hospital bed down the hall from the labor/delivery room to the OR. gown pulled up, one leg up, baby's butt hanging out of my vagina for everyone to see. there was a man standing outside one of the other rooms and the look on his face still haunts me today.

Was his face like:









This thread is laugh-out-loud funny. Keep it up ladies. I'm not a mom yet, but thanks to this thread I think I will be extra kind to mom having these kind of moments in public.


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## mumm (May 23, 2004)

Leaving my child in the play area of the library to check out books. She was 10 feet away but out of sight. She was about 2 and was playing with almost 5 year old brother. My older child called to me a few a few time but I thought he was going to whine she was putting her feet up on the chair, which she had been doing. I get my books, go around the corner and....

She is butt naked with a long, narrow book between her legs singing "penis, penis, look my big penis. Yikes!


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## Purple*Lotus (Nov 1, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *boysmom2* 
I just remembered another one:

When DS2 was little (maybe around 2) we were out somewhere and I was trying to entertain him and keep him from running around. I had him on my lap and was tickling him a little and other silly things. At one point I put my wide open mouth against his back near his shoulder and blew hot air through his shirt onto his skin. He giggled and squirmed and said loudly, "That's hot mommy! Blow me again!"


Quote:


Originally Posted by *lach* 
This thread is making me laugh out loud!

My most embarrassing story happened when DD was about 6 weeks old. I was feeling like I had this mothering thing down, so I decided to take her into the city (about 40 minutes from where we live) to enjoy the nice weather and meet DH for lunch. I got all dressed up, because I hadn't been leaving the house too much, and we drove in and I walked through the park and the major shopping district to DH's office and DD slept and I was feeling all pretty and confident and happy and like I was totally crackerjack at this whole "going out with baby" thing.

So I got to DH's office and he comes down to meet me and he says "Um, you know you're leaking, right?"

And I look down and I had apparently forgotten to wear my breast pads because my pretty shirt had two GIANT wet spots perfectly centered over each breast. And I'm talking GIANT: at least 5" across. I had been walking all over the city like that! I'm still mortified to think of it.

My family's screaming in church story involves going to the Christmas Eve service at our local church and my sister, who was I guess 2 or 3 yelling out "I know what that is! It's a lower-case T!" right in the middle of service. My parents made us start going to Sunday School after that LOL.


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## KristaDJ (May 30, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mumm* 
Leaving my child in the play area of the library to check out books. She was 10 feet away but out of sight. She was about 2 and was playing with almost 5 year old brother. My older child called to me a few a few time but I thought he was going to whine she was putting her feet up on the chair, which she had been doing. I get my books, go around the corner and....

She is butt naked with a long, narrow book between her legs singing "penis, penis, look my big penis. Yikes!









I could totally see my DD doing that!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aja-belly* 

or when we were at vacation bible school and the dog puppet was talking about feeling the love of jesus in your heart and jet kept yelling out "hey! say 'for me to poop on!'" (thinking it was triumph the insult dog)


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## Heavenly (Nov 21, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Marylizah* 
I had such an embarrassing afternoon.

I'm soon to be in my 8th month of pregnancy. *DS, 3.5, has come down with a nasty-sounding cough.* No fever, no other symptoms, just runny nose + horrible dry cough.

Tomorrow we're leaving to go to family for Thanksgiving, and I need to bake an apple-rum cake today, except we have no rum.

So I take poor DS, hacking and coughing and occasionally sneezing to the grocery store. In my cart I have fresh ravioli, orange juice and a big ole bottle of rum.

Despite the fact that I pick a normally quiet moment of the day to go, the line takes FORFREAKINGEVER. DS hacks away. The woman in front of me looks at DS, looks at me, looks in my cart, and whispers something to her daughter. More waiting. More coughing. A store employee comes over and gives DS a stuffed animal (!!!) presumably because she feels sorry for him, being sick and with a pregnant lush for a mom. I think it was the longest 10 minutes of my life.

Fun times, fun times. Thanks to Swine Flu madness, I am getting the nastiest looks of my entire life while out in public with poor DS!

As my MIL always says, "Coughs and sneezes spread diseases." If he is coughing, he is contagious. Personally I would be giving you looks too if I saw you out with your child hacking up a storm. I think people need to have respect for other people who might not want a hacking cough, or who may live with someone who is immune-suppressed and doesn't want to bring that home to their loved one with potentially serious consequences.


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## sleepingbeauty (Sep 1, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Heavenly* 
As my MIL always says, "Coughs and sneezes spread diseases." If he is coughing, he is contagious. Personally I would be giving you looks too if I saw you out with your child hacking up a storm. I think people need to have respect for other people who might not want a hacking cough, or who may live with someone who is immune-suppressed and doesn't want to bring that home to their loved one with potentially serious consequences.

but let's face it, sometimes you *need* to go out regardless, you know?

I get the looks sometimes (especially recently--both 2 and 1 year olds are hacking up their lungs T^T)


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## Momily (Feb 15, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Heavenly* 
As my MIL always says, "Coughs and sneezes spread diseases." If he is coughing, he is contagious. Personally I would be giving you looks too if I saw you out with your child hacking up a storm. I think people need to have respect for other people who might not want a hacking cough, or who may live with someone who is immune-suppressed and doesn't want to bring that home to their loved one with potentially serious consequences.

My son has pretty significant asthma and allergies. He coughs and sneezes from August until December, and then starts up again in March and lasts until June. Yes, he takes large doses of medication every day. Yes, we structure our lives so he's inside a lot. It helps, but he still coughs and sneezes. He is not contagious.

Since the swine flu thing I can't tell you how many evil looks we've gotten. The worst are at the swimming pool, which is one of the few really allergen free environments for him. So we go a lot at times when he can't exercise outside. I'm a single parent so of course he also goes to the grocery store, and lots of other places.

Do you have a better suggestion?


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## Heavenly (Nov 21, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Momily* 
My son has pretty significant asthma and allergies. He coughs and sneezes from August until December, and then starts up again in March and lasts until June. Yes, he takes large doses of medication every day. Yes, we structure our lives so he's inside a lot. It helps, but he still coughs and sneezes. He is not contagious.

Since the swine flu thing I can't tell you how many evil looks we've gotten. The worst are at the swimming pool, which is one of the few really allergen free environments for him. So we go a lot at times when he can't exercise outside. I'm a single parent so of course he also goes to the grocery store, and lots of other places.

Do you have a better suggestion?

Yes, telling people he has asthma so they can stop worrying. People aren't just being mean, they are worried. So just a quick, "Oh he has asthma, he's not sick," would help aleviate people's concerns.


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## 2xy (Nov 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Heavenly* 
If he is coughing, he is contagious.

Coughs can linger for quite some time after the pathogen is no longer contagious.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Heavenly*
Personally I would be giving you looks too if I saw you out with your child hacking up a storm. I think people need to have respect for other people who might not want a hacking cough, or who may live with someone who is immune-suppressed and doesn't want to bring that home to their loved one with potentially serious consequences.

I doubt that too many people *want* a hacking cough.

This reminds me of a time that my (now ex-)H and I had recently transferred to a new military duty station. We'd been there about three weeks. He was spending a couple of weeks out in the field with his unit. Both of my kids came down with illnesses. Oldest was 4.5 and the youngest was 2. We hadn't made any friends yet, and had no family in the area. It was long before grocery stores had Internet shopping and delivery. Should I have just left them home alone in order to go buy groceries?


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## lach (Apr 17, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Heavenly* 
As my MIL always says, "Coughs and sneezes spread diseases." If he is coughing, he is contagious.

I would have to disagree. In my experience, coughs linger for a-g-e-s after a cold, with my throat and my kids throats still irritated.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Heavenly* 
Personally I would be giving you looks too if I saw you out with your child hacking up a storm. I think people need to have respect for other people who might not want a hacking cough, or who may live with someone who is immune-suppressed and doesn't want to bring that home to their loved one with potentially serious consequences.

While I would certainly never advocate dragging a seriously ill child out and about, I don't know of anyone whose life can completely shut down for a whole-family quarantine every time a cold hits their house.


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## AmyB736 (Oct 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Heavenly* 
As my MIL always says, "Coughs and sneezes spread diseases." If he is coughing, he is contagious. Personally I would be giving you looks too if I saw you out with your child hacking up a storm. I think people need to have respect for other people who might not want a hacking cough, or who may live with someone who is immune-suppressed and doesn't want to bring that home to their loved one with potentially serious consequences.











This is not true at all.
People get colds and then coughs sometimes linger LOOOONG after they're contagious.
And people cough for other resons as well, such as asthma and allergies. I certainly wouldn't be walking around giving looks to people with a cough, how rude!


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

wow, that is harsh, my kids and I have week lungs. I forget what it is called but i get sick and get well pretty easily but have a cough that sounds like tuburculosis forever. I can't be a hermit and I am danger to no one but myself. Its bronchil something something. The cough irritates the bronchil tubes and makes them swell which causes mor coughing that causes more irritation.. seriously. vicious cycle for months. Madeline has allergies that make her cough like a pack a day smoker. not contageous either. gees if we stayed in while someone had a cough we would nbever freaking leave the house. but then I don't pay a lot of mind to people who give dirty looks either.

as for my most embarrassing moment,......
3 Am...newborn not sleeping so I figure i'll go grocery shiopping at wal-mart, why not, everyone is up...so we get there and she has blown out her diaper and is screaming. I change her and sit down to feed her on a bench at the front of the store. we both fall asleep. now. now that we are at walmart. I wake up to the sweetest angelic face, clearly no longer atttatched to my now fully exposed breast. my first though is why didn't someone wake me up....oh it is because they didn't see me. the creepy smiling old guy standing in front of me and staring is clearly blocking their view. YAY for postpartum sleepless nursing insanity and creepy old guys.


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## minkajane (Jun 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lilyka* 
as for my most embarrassing moment,......
3 Am...newborn not sleeping so I figure i'll go grocery shiopping at wal-mart, why not, everyone is up...so we get there and she has blown out her diaper and is screaming. I change her and sit down to feed her on a bench at the front of the store. we both fall asleep. now. now that we are at walmart. I wake up to the sweetest angelic face, clearly no longer atttatched to my now fully exposed breast. my first though is why didn't someone wake me up....oh it is because they didn't see me. the creepy smiling old guy standing in front of me and staring is clearly blocking their view. YAY for postpartum sleepless nursing insanity and creepy old guys.

OMG, that is quite possibly the funniest thing I have ever heard! I'm sure you were completely mortified, but I can't stop laughing!


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## AmyB736 (Oct 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lilyka* 
as for my most embarrassing moment,......
3 Am...newborn not sleeping so I figure i'll go grocery shiopping at wal-mart, why not, everyone is up...so we get there and she has blown out her diaper and is screaming. I change her and sit down to feed her on a bench at the front of the store. we both fall asleep. now. now that we are at walmart. I wake up to the sweetest angelic face, clearly no longer atttatched to my now fully exposed breast. my first though is why didn't someone wake me up....oh it is because they didn't see me. the creepy smiling old guy standing in front of me and staring is clearly blocking their view. YAY for postpartum sleepless nursing insanity and creepy old guys.









Oh. My. God. That is hilarious! I cannot even imagine....


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## Marylizah (Jun 17, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Heavenly* 
As my MIL always says, "Coughs and sneezes spread diseases." If he is coughing, he is contagious. Personally I would be giving you looks too if I saw you out with your child hacking up a storm. I think people need to have respect for other people who might not want a hacking cough, or who may live with someone who is immune-suppressed and doesn't want to bring that home to their loved one with potentially serious consequences.

Well, now I understand better the nasty glares I got.

I have a great deal of respect for other people and try very hard not to inconvenience them or make them sick. However, we must eat. We must sometimes go to the grocery store. We must even take public transportation to go see the doctor. There's just no way to be sure we aren't spreading germs around, and personally, barring a fever, I am not staying home.

I am glad for you that you are able to stay home whenever your child has a cold. Please, try to have a little compassion for those who can't.


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