# Need Advice on a Family Situation (Warning...Long)



## tootaloo78 (Nov 21, 2007)

I wasn't sure where to put this, if it needs to be moved please feel free.

My niece had a little girl a little over a year ago with a man who doesn't really help her all, financially or in any other way. She has to work to care for her daughter, but she makes so little at her job that she can't afford daycare. She has applied for assistance, but she doesn't qualify because there are only two in the home. My SIL has been watching the baby since she was six weeks old. She pays her a little, nothing like what she would pay a daycare, but it is all she can afford.

At first my niece was happy with the arrangement because her baby was with family, but it made me uncomfortable from the beginning. My SIL is...odd. She has tried to take over on parenting my oldest son, even when I'm in the room, from the time he was born. She has tried to force him to eat when he said he wasn't hungry with me sitting two feet away, threatened spanking him when I'm there, and various other crazy and bizarre incidents. She gave her own kids pop in their bottles, all the candy they could handle, etc. She doesn't hide the fact that she things that I (and both my nieces) are freaks for delaying vaxes, nursing, offering healthy snacks, limiting sugar, homeschooling, etc.

It didn't take long for things to go sour. My SIL believes in spanking and I rarely visited when her kids were small that they didn't get a spanking. My niece made it clear right from the start that she was not to spank her little one. Imagine my surprise when my SIL brought the baby to visit one day when she was about seven months old and smacked her hand twice for trying to pull my little boys hair. I told her it was fine, there was no need, but she did it again. I wanted to tell my niece, but my family asked me not to because they said she didn't have a choice but to leave her there and it would only make her feel bad. I didn't and things have gotten much worse.

On at four least other occasions she has spanked her (on diaper and legs) in front of me and when I confronted her and asked her if my niece was ok with it her response was "She doesn't want me to, but I can't handle her if I don't and what she doesn't know won't hurt her.".

I wanted to tell my niece, but her brother (my nephew) begged me not to because he said it would just drive her crazy. I don't know what to do. It's getting worse, I have been on the phone with my SIL and she would be screaming at the baby, calling her names, etc. My DH says it's not my business but when the baby reaches for me when it's time to go home with the SIL it seems so very much like my business. She even told me that she wanted to start potty training her by putting panties on her and making her wear them if they were wet to "teach her not to pee in them". This little girl has incredibly sensitive skin and I told her my niece didn't want to potty train yet. Again she told me that "what she doesn't know won't hurt her.".

She also completely undermines my niece at family get togethers and treats her like she's not this child's mother. My niece has seen enough to get concerned and she is trying again to get assistance with daycare, but if she doesn't get it the baby will be stuck there until she is three and ready for preschool. I would like to watch her until she finds something else, but my DH won't agree, he says I already have my hands full and he doesn't think I can handle it.

I am at a loss. I don't want to make her feel bad, but I would certainly want to know if this was going on with my child. I don't know what she would do, it takes every dime she makes to put food on the table, pay her house payment, buy gas, etc. We live in southern KY and there are no jobs, she works at a call center and makes more than she would at a restaurant, nursing home, etc. so it's not like she can just switch to a better paying job, there aren't any.

Everyone tells me not to say anything, but how can I not? My heart breaks for this sweet baby girl every time I see her. I know she's not being beaten, but being slapped, yelled at and called names is abuse, IMO. Plain and simple. Should I tell her if the daycare thing falls through? Should I keep quiet and just mind my own? Advice is appreciated.


----------



## gsd1amommy (Apr 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tootaloo78* 
I wasn't sure where to put this, if it needs to be moved please feel free.

My niece had a little girl a little over a year ago with a man who doesn't really help her all, financially or in any other way. She has to work to care for her daughter, but she makes so little at her job that she can't afford daycare. She has applied for assistance, but she doesn't qualify because there are only two in the home. My SIL has been watching the baby since she was six weeks old. She pays her a little, nothing like what she would pay a daycare, but it is all she can afford.

At first my niece was happy with the arrangement because her baby was with family, but it made me uncomfortable from the beginning. My SIL is...odd. She has tried to take over on parenting my oldest son, even when I'm in the room, from the time he was born. She has tried to force him to eat when he said he wasn't hungry with me sitting two feet away, threatened spanking him when I'm there, and various other crazy and bizarre incidents. She gave her own kids pop in their bottles, all the candy they could handle, etc. She doesn't hide the fact that she things that I (and both my nieces) are freaks for delaying vaxes, nursing, offering healthy snacks, limiting sugar, homeschooling, etc.

It didn't take long for things to go sour. My SIL believes in spanking and I rarely visited when her kids were small that they didn't get a spanking. My niece made it clear right from the start that she was not to spank her little one. Imagine my surprise when my SIL brought the baby to visit one day when she was about seven months old and smacked her hand twice for trying to pull my little boys hair. I told her it was fine, there was no need, but she did it again. I wanted to tell my niece, but my family asked me not to because they said she didn't have a choice but to leave her there and it would only make her feel bad. I didn't and *things have gotten much worse*.

On at four least other occasions she has spanked her (on diaper and legs) in front of me and when I confronted her and asked her if my niece was ok with it her response was "She doesn't want me to, but I can't handle her if I don't and what she doesn't know won't hurt her.".

I wanted to tell my niece, but her brother (my nephew) begged me not to because he said it would just drive her crazy. I don't know what to do. It's getting worse, I have been on the phone with my SIL and she would be screaming at the baby, calling her names, etc. My DH says it's not my business but when the baby reaches for me when it's time to go home with the SIL it seems so very much like my business. She even told me that she wanted to start potty training her by putting panties on her and making her wear them if they were wet to "teach her not to pee in them". This little girl has incredibly sensitive skin and I told her my niece didn't want to potty train yet. Again she told me that "what she doesn't know won't hurt her.".

She also completely undermines my niece at family get togethers and treats her like she's not this child's mother. My niece has seen enough to get concerned and she is trying again to get assistance with daycare, but if she doesn't get it the baby will be stuck there until she is three and ready for preschool. I would like to watch her until she finds something else, but my DH won't agree, he says I already have my hands full and he doesn't think I can handle it.

I am at a loss. I don't want to make her feel bad, but I would certainly want to know if this was going on with my child. I don't know what she would do, it takes every dime she makes to put food on the table, pay her house payment, buy gas, etc. We live in southern KY and there are no jobs, she works at a call center and makes more than she would at a restaurant, nursing home, etc. so it's not like she can just switch to a better paying job, there aren't any.

Everyone tells me not to say anything, but how can I not? My heart breaks for this sweet baby girl every time I see her. I know she's not being beaten, but being slapped, yelled at and called names is abuse, IMO. Plain and simple. Should I tell her if the daycare thing falls through? Should I keep quiet and just mind my own? Advice is appreciated.


By minding your own business, you are complicit in the abuse of a child as are all members of your family who tell you to keep your mouth shut. I can't imagine the sense of betrayal I would feel if a member of my family was abusing my baby and the people who knew, witnessed, didn't do anything to help, at least didn't tell me.


----------



## gsd1amommy (Apr 6, 2007)

I also wanted to say that I am so sorry you are faced with this and have no support to get the little girl out of this situation. Is there a reason your husband thinks taking care of her will be too much?


----------



## Evan&Anna's_Mom (Jun 12, 2003)

I agree that you need to speak up. You even have a solution, which is terrific. However, I am concerned that you are bowing to everyone else. Even your offer to watch her is being controlled by your husband saying "no". Saying something is going to upset a lot of apple carts, so you need to be sure that you can handle all of the ramifications. You don't say how many children you have at home, so I don't know if your husband's concerns are realistic, but if they aren't you need to figure out how to convince him to let this go forward.


----------



## tootaloo78 (Nov 21, 2007)

Thak you both for your responses. I have a 3.5 year old a 7 month old. My oldest is very high needs and we are homeschooling (just started with pre-school) so dh is concerned that it would interfere.

I don't mean to bow to everyone else, it's just that they all make me feel that if I speak up my niece will end up without a sitter at all and will lose her job because they are very strict about missing days, being late etc. Also, I don't want to feel like I am going behind my brother's back, tattling on his wife (he isn't there to see most of the behavior). If I say something I want to be totally upfront about it, but I'm not quite sure how to do that.


----------



## Kittymom (May 26, 2004)

You absolutely need to tell her. I understand you are in an uncomfortable position, but I am frankly horrified that someone who agrees with your niece's position wouldn't have told her immediately. It does make you complicit in how the baby is being treated. What's more, it means you and the rest of the family are treating your niece like a child, or like a weak-minded over emotional woman in the way that people used to treat women.

It sounds to me like she is a responsible, loving mother doing the best she can with a tough situation. She has EVERY right to know how her child is being treated. In her place, wouldn't you want to be told? Also, no one, including her, knows what alternatives she might find if she knew how her child was being mistreated. There may be options she considers inferior to a family member who follows her rules, but would choose over the reality.

Also, consider this. The current mistreatment is shaping her kid's psyche for life. It is also impacting her behavior at home. Her mom is going to eventually think it is failings in her parenting that are causing her kid to act in certain ways, not knowing the treatment experienced elsewhere.

It just breaks my heart to think of all the effort this women, who is already in such a stressful situation, is putting in to being a patient and loving mama, only to have her efforts undermined without her knowledge. I'm sorry your family doesn't respect her enough to tell her the truth, and I know they would be upset with you for doing so. But, I implore you, please stand up to them and tell her the whole, unedited truth right away. No matter her response, she deserves to know and her child needs her to as well.

I am sorry if this comes across as overly harsh. Again, I know that this must have kept you up some nights and is in no way easy or fair to anyone involved, including you. But, I feel very strongly about this. Please contact her today.


----------



## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

You need to tell your niece. Her child is being harmed, and your whole family is complicit in this. Your SIL is hitting an infant. She's talking about potty training her when she's clearly not ready, using a method that could hurt her.

You can take care of this infant until she can find a better place. Homeschooling a 3.5 year old shouldn't take much time -- really you could delay 'schooling' for a year and he'd be just fine. I'm assuming you read to your child, talk with him and sing with him, right? Schedule in a daily exploration walk which would be fun for all the kids. Schedule an art project every 2-3 days, and you'd have a decent preschool experience for the first year. Is it as involved as homeschool? No, but to help someone in a crisis, maybe it's the best thing.


----------



## heartmama (Nov 27, 2001)

If it were your child, would you want to know?

How would you feel if you found out everyone knew, and nobody told you?

You have a solution. It is time to act.

Best of luck, and God bless you!


----------



## heartmama (Nov 27, 2001)

I also want to add that with time and persistence your SIL most likely could find public assistance that will help her with daycare costs. There are waiting lists, and lots of detective work to do, but if you can watch the baby in the meantime, I think there is a good chance that public programs exist which she could use. And in terms of daycare, you could probably throw a dart at a phone book and find one that will treat her baby better than this woman. The entire post was shocking and very sad


----------



## simplemama32 (Jul 16, 2009)

I definitely agree with the others...this mama needs to be told what is happening with her child. Words can't express how horrified I would be if I found out this was happening to my son.

Hugs...I know this is a difficult situation for all concerned.


----------



## Wild Lupine (Jul 22, 2009)

You niece and her baby are so, so, so lucky you are in their lives.

I agree with all the previous posters. You must tell your niece, you must tell her now. This baby is experiencing physical and emotional abuse. This will only escalate; if she spanks her at 8 months for pulling a child's hair in play, what will she do in response to a fifteen month old flushing valuables down the toilet, or a two year old saying no all day long? This child's emotional and physical well-being is at stake an desparately needs help. I wouldn't send the baby back there for another day.

The rest of your family is in denial, a very real and very strong response to an unhealthy and abnormal situation. It is also a very powerful group dynamic in which members collude with one another. One day they may wake up and realize how very wrong they were, but that's unlikely to happen soon. You may need to act, and help your niece act, without any support from anyone else. I wish I had advice for how to protect this little girl without family conflict, but I don't. There are a lot of wise Mamas here who might have some suggestions. All I can suggest is to brace yourself an get support from friends and MDC!

There may be other options, Head Start, for example. Many states provide daycare assistance, maybe even all of them. I have two friends, both single moms who make slightly above minimum wage, who get full daycare coverage from the government so they can work. Maybe your husband will be more amenable to you taking the baby in if he knows it is short term.

Good luck we'll be thinking of you!


----------



## rabbitmum (Jan 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LynnS6* 
You need to tell your niece. Her child is being harmed, and your whole family is complicit in this. Your SIL is hitting an infant. She's talking about potty training her when she's clearly not ready, using a method that could hurt her.

You can take care of this infant until she can find a better place. Homeschooling a 3.5 year old shouldn't take much time -- really you could delay 'schooling' for a year and he'd be just fine. I'm assuming you read to your child, talk with him and sing with him, right? Schedule in a daily exploration walk which would be fun for all the kids. Schedule an art project every 2-3 days, and you'd have a decent preschool experience for the first year. Is it as involved as homeschool? No, but to help someone in a crisis, maybe it's the best thing.

I completely agree. Please tell her!


----------



## tootaloo78 (Nov 21, 2007)

I know that you are right, she needs to be told. I don't know if DH will agree for me to keep her, however. He was pretty admant about it and since it will directly affect him (and our children) it's not a decisionthat I can make without his support.

Should I invite her over and just break it to her gently, how do I deal with the fallout with my family? I know it seems silly to worry about that now, but I know this is going to hurt my relationship with my brother, I would like to do the least amount of damage possible.


----------



## weliveintheforest (Sep 3, 2005)

I would invite her and tell her in person. She may decide not to do anything, or she may ask SIL about it in a way that doesn't get everyone upset at you. It might be uncomfortable at first but eventually it will blow over. Even though it seems like assistance is hard to find, there may be a way. Can you ask in the Finding Your Tribe forum for your area?


----------



## Spirit Dancer (Dec 11, 2006)

You must tell her. I imagine if it where your babe would you not want to know?
Also I would tell her in person- all the facts.


----------



## swd12422 (Nov 9, 2007)

You not only need to tell her, you need to let everyone who's telling you NOT to tell her that they should be ashamed of themselves. Honestly, I wouldn't be able to attend another family event with those people if I were in your shoes. That's not the value system I want my family around.


----------



## bebebradford (Apr 4, 2008)

I'm BEGGING you to tell her ASAP. By not telling her it's almost like you are condoning the abuse. The RIGHT thing is to tell her.. I understand you're in a pickle.. but this is an innocent child here. The babe cannot speak for itself.. YOU need to be it's voice. Good luck!


----------



## bebebradford (Apr 4, 2008)

Also, I know in Tennessee there is daycare scholarships by DHS... As long as the mom works 30 hours a week and meets the income requirements she would get it.. here anyways. Isn't there something like that there?


----------



## Latte Mama (Aug 25, 2009)

Latecomer to the thread chiming in PLEASE tell her. I am sick thinking about the "what if" it were my baby. I cannot believe the rest of your family is in cahoots with this silence, ugh. As far as what she doesn't know won't hurt, it IS hurting her kid!

Your niece has the right to know and the right to decide her child's future care.


----------



## RiverSky (Jun 26, 2005)

Yup, please tell her.

Honestly, in this situation, I would tell my DH that I cannot stand by any longer, and I am going to help watch the baby for two months, to give her a chance to find another situation.

If this woman treats that baby as she does when she knows you are watching and not agreeing, imagine what she does when you are not there! I shudder to think how much this baby is being abused behind closed doors....

Please hurry!


----------



## *LoveBugMama* (Aug 2, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RiverSky* 
Yup, please tell her.

Honestly, in this situation, I would tell my DH that I cannot stand by any longer, and I am going to help watch the baby for two months, to give her a chance to find another situation.

If this woman treats that baby as she does when she knows you are watching and not agreeing, imagine what she does when you are not there! I shudder to think how much this baby is being abused behind closed doors....

Please hurry!

I totally agree!

Your DH NEEDS to understand that babysitting this innocent baby is more important right now than any homeschooling. I would not let him dictate me in this case. This baby needs you.


----------



## tootaloo78 (Nov 21, 2007)

I had decided to tell her, as I mentioned before, but last night when we were having dinner at my parents house SIL unexpectedly solved the problem for me. She announced that "I hope she (the baby) enjoys daycare because I'm going to tell R. that I am finished, I just don't want to do it anymore." Which is very odd, I am thinking that somehow it got back to her that my niece was looking into daycare and she got upset. But then she followed that statement up with a comment about how she has no idea how my niece will afford it since she can barely put food on the table.

I had already told my niece that I could keep the baby for a couple of weeks (my dh agreed to that long) until she could find other care, so we'll see. I know that the dc she was interested in told her they had a spot available but will not take the baby until she is up to date on her vaxes (I don't know if that is legal or not, my boys have never attended daycare) so she is planning on trying to catch those up. They told her that when she got that taken care of they would help her to apply for programs for assistance and that they are pretty sure that she would get it. I guess we'll just have to wait and see what comes of that, either way the baby will be away from my SIL. Honestly, from what I've seen out of her the past year I wouldn't leave a goldfish in her care.







:


----------



## LauraN (May 18, 2004)

I hate to say this, but I don't think this washes your hands of the responsibility to tell your niece hoe her daughter has been mistreated. She needs to know. It might make her a little more vigilant in future childcare situations.


----------



## heartmama (Nov 27, 2001)

She still needs to know what has been going on with her baby for the last _year_.


----------



## Kittymom (May 26, 2004)

I'm glad the situation appears to be resolving, but I agree with the others that she still needs to know. She needs to be able to have the option of doing things with her child that may mitigate the damage, and to understand her child's reactions to things that might not make sense otherwise. I think she also has the right to confront you SIL about what she did, if she so chooses.

Good luck.


----------



## mama2mygirl (Dec 14, 2005)

I agree. I think you need to tell her what happened.


----------



## mysticmomma (Feb 8, 2005)

She still needs to know.


----------



## DianeMarie (Jul 7, 2009)

You said that the father of this child does not help financially----WHY? It is his LEGAL RESPONSIBILITY to provide child support to her, especially since she is the full-time and custodial parent!

If it were me, I would completely ignore my husband----only YOU know what you can handle and what you are unable to handle, and if you feel you are able to handle this, then who is he to doubt it? I understand that you want to do the pre-school home schooling thing with your child, but I am sure that doesn't take all day.

Your SIL sounds like a bully, I'm serious. She should mind her own business (and people should tell her that) when she is butting in about how you should raise your own child. Just the comment she made at dinner about not "wanting to do it anymore" and she "doesn't know how she's going to do it because she can hardly afford to put food on the table." You know what? it's none of her g**damn business how she's going to afford it, and how she's going to put food on the table!! Is that her way of trying to make your niece feel guilty? Tell her to shut up and mind her own business and don't worry about everyone else's business. I really hate people like that.

One thing I have found, especially with FAMILY is, the less they know, the better off YOU are. If you have family that you can tell confidential information to, then fine. But if the whole family knows your business, that's not a good thing. No one EVER owes any kind of explanation to their family members about why they are doing something--they are just doing it! If you want someone's opinion or advice, then that's different---but you still don't owe anybody an explanation ever after you have received their advice.

This child needs to be loved and nurtured and NOT ABUSED!!! It reminds me of a dog in a shelter who has been exposed to being hit their whole life----and when you go to pick up your drink on the coffee table, the dog cowers because it is terrified it is going to get hit. That is what will happen with this child if this situation is allowed to continue----anytime somebody raises their arm/hand, she is going to cower away because she will be afraid she is going to get hit.

Your SIL doesn't even deserve to take care of this child.


----------



## RiverSky (Jun 26, 2005)

The mother still needs to know so that in the future, if she has a day when emergency care is needed, she does not call SIL as a last resort.


----------



## Apple Girl (Nov 2, 2007)

You need to tell her. Forget what SIL says. She sounds horribly manipulative and bullying. This poor little girl deserves better.


----------



## Oh the Irony (Dec 14, 2003)

Yeah--there are long term implications for the child and the mom needs to know so she can deal with anything that comes up. Please tell her.


----------



## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Your grand-niece is over 1 and your niece needs non-abusive day care until her dd is 3?

So it'd be two years, at most?

And your oldest is 3.5?

By the time any sort of schooling could even possibly matter, your grand-niece can be in preschool. And that's assuming that no other daycare arrangements become possible.


----------



## Aliyahsmommy (Sep 9, 2008)

I completely agree. And the sooner the better.....the more time you let lapse the more likely your niece will be mad at you for not telling her sooner!!!
Your niece has the right to make her own decisions regarding how she wants her child raised. I think if it was just a daycare provider behaving this way and not your SIL that you would have any problem letting your niece in on what you have seen. Forget about the fact that she is family as what she is doing is incredibly horrible and it is not helping your niece to leave her child with someone whom she cannot trust to treat her right no matter what her financial situation. I would rather live in a homeless shelter or with a family member than to have my baby mistreated and my parenting value undermined!.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LauraN* 
I hate to say this, but I don't think this washes your hands of the responsibility to tell your niece hoe her daughter has been mistreated. She needs to know. It might make her a little more vigilant in future childcare situations.


----------



## natural_mama89 (May 4, 2007)

this is sort of OT, but your niece should look into the vax laws in your state. Even in states that have really easy vaccine exemptions, parents are told that they HAVE to vax for school and daycare. She SHOULD NOT take the daycare's word for it if it is not something she wants to do. They often do not have accurate information on things like that.


----------



## jenmk (Apr 28, 2005)

I agree with pp's that you really need to tell your neice what SIL has been doing. She really should know (it may help her understand some of her LO's behaviors that may have resulted from the nasty treatment), and it'll (hopefully) make sure that her sweet innocent babe never is left alone with SIL again. (Personally, I really hate the "what she doesn't know won't hurt her" mentality. It's just so wrong.)

Also, I have to say that if you think you can handle your neice's babe and your two children, then your DH has little say in the matter. I'm sure there's more to the story, but I can't imagine why he doesn't think you should take care of her to help out your neice and keep the LO safe. That sounded like a dire situation to me--definitely abuse--and that baby should have been pulled out of there immediately. Plus, and this is coming from a homeschooling mom of 4 (ages 7, 5, 3, and 4 mo), homeschooling a 3.5 yo is playing and reading--in other words, normal parenting stuff. There's no paperwork, there's no curriculum. Children that age should just be and play. So watching another child would in no way get in the way of that.

Kudos to you, mama, for looking out for your neice and her babe. She's lucky to have you around.


----------



## Latte Mama (Aug 25, 2009)

I have to agree with the rest of the PP's, your niece should know. What if she ever asks SIL to babysit just for the day? I think it's great that you can watch her for at least a few weeks and I hope you will be able to do it long term. It truly is the best when loving family takes care of their own.


----------



## RasJi7 (Sep 25, 2007)

Please tell her. I am close to tears. The thought of anyone doing this to my sweet boy would kill me. Please do something. This lady sounds horrible and I think everyone should stop pretending like it's ok. I think your husband will respect you if you tell him what you are doing.

You can do this!


----------



## bugginsmom (Aug 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heartmama* 
If it were your child, would you want to know?

How would you feel if you found out everyone knew, and nobody told you?

You have a solution. It is time to act.

Best of luck, and God bless you!


I could not have said it any better.


----------



## *Erin* (Mar 18, 2002)

omg
tell her ASAP. ditto with everyone else, wouldnt you want to know? SIL sounds like a lunatic. and a sadist. please help that poor baby.
good luck, mama, sounds like a bad situation.


----------



## Equuskia (Dec 16, 2006)

I agree with heartmama, I would want to know if my BABY was being abused. And this is definitely abuse. If I found out someone was treating my one year old like this (sounds like this baby is one, so is mine) I would call the police.


----------



## josie423 (Jun 29, 2008)

I hope this situation is resolved soon!

She needs to know. She will find out from _someone_, _someday_, and she will be devastated and angry when she realizes her family knew, her aunt *knew* and didn't tell her. Do the right thing, Mama. This is child abuse!


----------



## tootaloo78 (Nov 21, 2007)

Thanks for all of your concern and replies. I did talk to her and she is in the process of getting my great-niece enrolled in daycare. She said she pretty much suspected a lot of it all along, but she didn't want to believe it because she felt helpless to find a better situation. Needless to say, she has major guilt issues, but she isn't angry at the family, she said she totally understands why we weren't sure what to do. I am just so glad that things are going to improve for this little girl now and so relieved that the situation hasn't damaged my relationship with my niece.


----------



## mysticmomma (Feb 8, 2005)

I'm really glad you told her. I'm sure it was hard.


----------



## RasJi7 (Sep 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tootaloo78* 
Thanks for all of your concern and replies. I did talk to her and she is in the process of getting my great-niece enrolled in daycare. She said she pretty much suspected a lot of it all along, but she didn't want to believe it because she felt helpless to find a better situation. Needless to say, she has major guilt issues, but she isn't angry at the family, she said she totally understands why we weren't sure what to do. I am just so glad that things are going to improve for this little girl now and so relieved that the situation hasn't damaged my relationship with my niece.

I am so glad they are the path to healing now. So glad you told her. You did the right thing.


----------

