# Natural labor - stillborn?



## tutucrazy (Dec 30, 2008)

For those who have had a stillborn baby and did not choose induction, how long was it before you went into labor? How many weeks was your baby when he/she passed?

My baby passed sometime last Wed/Thursday at 34.5 weeks. I'm just wondering how long it will be before labor starts.


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## diana_of_the_dunes (Dec 7, 2008)

I don't have any answers for you, but I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you are going through this. Please take care of yourself.


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## philomom (Sep 12, 2004)

Sorry, I didn't know my son had passed. It was a weekend and I was in-between the weekly last month visits with the CNM. Looking back on it now, he was probably gone just 30 hours before labor started.

I do know ladies that induced but I'm glad I didn't have to.


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## L J (Apr 6, 2006)

I went into labor with my son at 35w5d; he was estimated to have passed 2 days prior to birth.

FWIW, I'm very happy I was able to give him a gentle, natural birth (even if it was in the car). I completely understand why some would choose induction, but I'm glad I didn't have to make the choice.

Much, much love mama.


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## namaste_mom (Oct 21, 2005)

I am sorry for your loss. I can not answer your question either, I had an induction probably 2 days after my baby died. I just wanted to express my sympathies ((HUGS))


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## NullSet (Dec 19, 2004)

I'm sorry, I can't answer your question either. I opted for induction. I was far enough along though that they only had to use the cervidil gel and I did not have to do pitocin. Many hugs to you, you must be frantic with the waiting. I'm so sorry you are going through this, breaks my heart that this happens to anyone.


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## japonica (May 26, 2005)

I'm so sorry. It's heartbreaking and even after all these years, I still remember all the details about the day we found out.

I chose immediate induction right after we had the confirmation u/s just because I couldn't deal with going about my business and people in public saying the usual inane stuff, "now long now." "boy or girl," that kind of thing. I also only needed cervidil, no pitocin, and the labor was 10 hours from time of cervidil placement. Only the last hour and transition were the most physically uncomfortable.

I do wish I could have reflected for an hour or two before we started the induction (even though we were just in shock and not thinking properly) but I would have liked to prepare...a professional photographer, clothes for her (and for us! the few pics we have, I'm in a hospital gown). Looking back from this vantage point and knowing it would be the only time we'd ever have with our daughter, I wish we could have arranged things better. Some of my in-laws still mention (eight years on now) that they wish they'd seen her.

The only thing I can say about possibly considering induction is risk of infection (my blood work showed that I was already starting to develop an infection because of her) and also the physical condition of the baby. By our best guesses, our DD passed away about 2-3 days before I was induced (I swear I felt tiny movements up until the day before we found out, but the pathology report said she was gone longer than this), but she already started to show some of the changes associated with that time lapse. So, that may be something to consider as well.

((HUGS)) and sending you strength and love. Again, I'm so sorry.


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## tutucrazy (Dec 30, 2008)

I'm a VBAC so I can't induce unless risking another c/s. Plus my baby died at 34.5 weeks so my cervix wasn't near ready and with VBAC they don't let you use cervical ripeners.







We are still waiting and I have been using natural methods to ripen and induce. Today my cervix was 100% effaced (probably thanks to the EPO) We are moving to induction with acupuncture tomorrow but it has already been a week. I have little hope of the baby being in photo conditions.


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## KristaDJ (May 30, 2009)

(((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))) I am so very sorry. I also want to say that babies are extremely well preserved in the amniotic fluid and you may be surprised how good he/she looks. I know that is no consolation right now :-( I'm so sorry you are facing this and I hope that everything goes/went well. <3


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## L J (Apr 6, 2006)

Oh mama, I am so sorry you are still waiting. Do you know if your amniotic fluid levels have dropped down to nearly nothing? Like Krista said, babies are very well preserved in the amniotic fluid. My story is the flip side of that - by the time my son was born, there wasn't a drop of fluid left, it had all reabsorbed. He showed some signs of having been gone for a little while, his eyelids were swollen (but really no more than my living children's have been from the birth canal) and his skin was starting to peel, but he wasn't hideous or a monster or anything. He didn't look like a living baby, but he was still beautiful and we have pictures of him. My 4 year old (he was 3 at the time) looks at the pictures all the time and isn't troubled by them.

Still thinking about you constantly, mama.


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## Megan73 (May 16, 2007)

I'm so sorry for you loss, mama. I hope your little one's birth is a speedy and gentle as possible. Grieving a lost baby is hard enough without being in this agonizing limbo. Thinking of you...


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## BirthFree (Nov 2, 2005)

Just checking in on you, you've been in my thoughts constantly. Hugs.


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## L J (Apr 6, 2006)

I've been thinking about you, too, mama. We are here for you, when you are ready.


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## tutucrazy (Dec 30, 2008)

Hi ladies. I wanted to post a little of what has happened since my last post. My son, Jude Mateo, was born exactly 2 weeks after his passing. I waited patiently for his timing. It wasn't easy to wait but it was worth it to protect my birth and give Jude the very last thing I could give him, a gentle homebirth. His birth was about as perfect as it could be. A nice, fast labor and afterward he and I lay to rest in our own bed. It was the most transformative experience of my life. Since his passing I have been donating Jude's milk to a hospital. Here is a brief summary of our donation journey...

http://www.drmomma.org/2011/09/from-despair-to-donation-mother-loses.html

Blessings!


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## Mom31 (Jun 11, 2011)

Hugs mama. Thoughts are with you.


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## Megan73 (May 16, 2007)

What a beautiful gift you're giving in your sweet babe's memory.
Jude Mateo


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## Alphaghetti (May 26, 2005)

for Jude. My most sincere wishes for your peace and healing, Momma.


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## BirthFree (Nov 2, 2005)

So many blessings to you for healing and peace. You are amazing, sharing such a gift.


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