# Honestly.... how many cosleeping parents here are getting a good night's sleep?



## jessafina (Oct 26, 2009)

Or rather, co-sleeping familes. Because I'm really worried about DS's sleep, or lack thereof. None of us are getting much quality sleep. At all. DS is 10 months and fidgets all night long. Then wakes up crying. Then wants to nurse a million times, then gets up on his knees, practices his words, scratches at the wall, scratches at my eyelids, kicks and kicks, etc. He starts the night in his cosleeper (lowered) and after his first wake up (at about 3 hours) nothing but the big bed will do.
Do any bed-sharing families out there honestly wake up feeling like everyone got the sleep they need?
DS is such a snuggler, such a contact guy, but I'm starting to wonder if finding a way to get him more sleep wouldn't be more important than all being in the same bed.


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## marinak1977 (Feb 24, 2009)

Well, DS is 6 months and we usually get a good night sleep even with him eating every 2-3 hours because I just doze through the feedings. DH usually gets to sleep through a lot of the activity. I'm imagining that without co-sleeping it would be harder for all of us.
However, DS was sick a few nights ago and then nobody got good sleep. Of course that would probably still be the case if he was in a separate bed.


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## Pepper44 (May 16, 2006)

We have a king sized bed with DH by the wall, almost 4 year old DD in the middle, then me, then the 2 month old baby on the outside. (We have the humanity family sleeper so she can't roll off.)

For the most part we all sleep very well. There are some nights where DD1 in the middle will be restless and kick a lot, but not too often. Co-sleeping works well for us. DH likes being able to snuggle with DD1 at night since he doesn't see her much during awake hours because of work, and the baby nurses and snuggles while I stay mostly asleep.


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## Mama_of_1 (Mar 31, 2005)

Honestly, I don't get much sleep. Or rather, my sleep is interrupted regularly when DD wants to eat, which varies between every 3 to every 1.5 hours. I WOH during the day so it does get to me but it is really the best option for us because I couldn't imagine having to get up and be awake enough to walk somewhere and then keep my wits about me. DH tends to sleep through everything but if I need to get up (I sleep in the middle) to go potty, I wake him or crawl off the end, whichever way is better.

Our DD is almost 10 mos now so it sounds like you may be hitting a developmental milestone also. DD is more wakeful the last week or two and has been waking more frequently to nurse. There have been times when she's slept through 4-5 hours straight and that's been heavenly for me.

I look at it as a small price to pay for her development. I know - easier said than done. But I do try to focus on that as best as I can.


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## sdbeachy (Aug 14, 2009)

We get a pretty good night's sleep most nights. Our 15 month old wakes up to nurse 3-4 times at night these days (an increase recently from 2-3), so I'm usually awake or semi-awake for the 5 to 20 minutes it takes him to finish and go back to sleep.

So while yes, sleeping all night would be my preference, I get WAY better sleep with him in our bed than I would if I had to get up out of bed to nurse or comfort him. I occasionally feel irritated during the night if I can't go back to sleep or DS keeps rolling or kicking, but I don't feel sleep-deprived. It's totally worth it to know that he's safe and happy at night. I can't imagine sleeping apart from him at this point. Though last week we added at "auxillary mattress" next to ours, which helps with the kicking but not the number of wakings.


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

When DS was around that age, he started the night in the crib (3 feet from my bed) and joined me in my bed after the first waking. Some nights he'd sleep for 6 hours without nursing, others he'd get up after 2 and nurse frequently the rest of the night, other nights he'd get up after 2 hours and then only nurse once before morning. It really varied. The nights I'd get up to nurse him and then put him back in the crib after nursing were the ones where I didn't get enough sleep.

When DD1 was that age, she slept in my queen sized bed all night (DH slept in another bed in the same room) and we both got plenty of sleep. (Wait, no. When DD1 was 10mo I was 2m pg and needed more sleep than she did and was constantly sleep deprived- but that was from not being able to nap, not from the nighttime arrangements.) When DD2 was around that age, she slept with me all night, and DD1 was either in the big bed with us or with DH, and overall I felt mostly rested.

I never moved any kids out of my bedroom until he or she was old enough to come to me independently in the middle of the night if needed. It's so much more restful to have a child climb in with you than it is to wake up to crying and have to get up out of bed to get the baby. However, having the baby in a crib in the same room did work quite well, as I got up frequently to pee anyway and simply got the baby on the way back to bed from the bathroom.

It sounds to me like your LO may need some "nighttime discipline", learning that it's time to sleep, not play, and if he wants to kick and poke at eyelids, he'll need to go back in the cosleeper. I used to give DS a choice: lie in bed nicely (including nursing if he wanted to) or go back in the crib.


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## blessedmama59 (Mar 3, 2010)

My daughter, who is almost 14 mths, has slept in between hubby and I from the start. Her sleeping habits have changed accordingly to whatever milestone she was approaching, ranging from waking several times to none at all. Right now, she's been sleeping basically all night maybe waking once to nurse. Even during the nights she wakes so frequently, all I have to do is pull out my boob and we both go right back to sleep lol She does tend to squirm and kick sometimes and has really nailed hubby a few times. The restless nights can be frustrating, but we still get plenty of sleep. I can't imagine having to get out of bed to nurse/comfort her back to sleep several times a night. I think we would all lose sleep if that was the case. We both like knowing she's snuggled safely in between us, too. What size bed do you have? I believe cosleeping is what does (and could) work best for most familes, however there are some who sleep better independently. Do what you feel works best and if you feel like you would all get better sleep by changing sleeping arrangements, then try it out. Hope that helps, mama!


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## leigh09 (Dec 16, 2008)

we get a good night's sleep, even though my 8 mo nurses 2-3 times a night. i also doze through most of his nursings.

HOWEVER, with that said, i coslept with my second child (who is now 2) and it was horrible. she was constantly in motion, rarely slept, and always waking us up. when we discovered how sensitive she was to food additives, colourings, dairy and changed her diet, her sleep greatly improved. she slept restfully.


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## moobiegirl (Sep 10, 2007)

We are a bed sharing family. Ds has been in our bed since day 1 and so has dd. We usually get a good nights sleep. DD is down to about 1-2 wakings a night, but I can usually fall back asleep or I don't even wake up anymore. There have been times when ds was so active at night that we thought he might get a better nights sleep in his own space, but then it ends and he's just as happy with us. For right now, we are happy in one bed.


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## staceychev (Mar 5, 2005)

I get good sleep with my kids in my bed. DD1 is in her own bed unless DH is out of town, and DD2 is with me whether DH is there or not.

Honestly, one of the reasons I co-sleep is selfishness! I feel like, especially with a baby, I'm getting better sleep that way. I can nurse without really waking up. I haven't felt sleep-deprived most nights since she was a couple of weeks old.

(I realize that sounds totally "la la la, we're a perfect family" and I didn't mean it that way. Co-sleeping just works well for us.)

Anyway, once DD1 hit about 2-1/2, DH started lobbying to get her out of our bed, because it's only a queen size, and she was taking up more room and he wasn't sleeping well.


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## Honey693 (May 5, 2008)

For us it depends. Some weeks I get sleep, don't notice her moving or waking up and feel decent and others it's awful. On the bad weeks I just keep telling myself having to roll over to get DD and comfort her is better than walking down the hall to a screaming kid.


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## nola79 (Jun 21, 2009)

I don't.







I need my own space to sleep well.


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## MsVyky (May 29, 2009)

We are. DD is still up to nurse 3-4 times a night usually, but we've mastered side lying and I just pop a boob in her mouth and go back to sleep.


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## One_Girl (Feb 8, 2008)

I got the best sleep when I co-slept and napped when my dd napped. Even now we both sleep better on the rare nights when dd comes into my bed, despite the bed being incredibly small.


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

at that age - no that was not the best sleep i got, BUT it was better than having to get up out of bed and go feed her every two hours. just getting out of bed at night was work for me. i dont know how i could have survived babyhood if i had to get out of bed to go feed her.

i too dozed thru her feedings and never burped her at night.


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## Laneybug (Jun 5, 2010)

I really, really want to cosleep with my dd but I'm not sure it's going to work out and I'm trying not to beat myself up about it. We bought the bed bug bumper and tried to sleep with her in bed a few nights ago but none of us got any sleep until I put her back into her bassinet at about 2 am. She grunts and groans so much after feedings sometimes that I think it's more comfortable to keep her in the bassinet where she is semi-reclined...she is quieter and more peaceful so for the time being I am doing what is best for her---rather than dragging her into our bed because I have a complex that I am not a good "attached" parent if she isn't sharing the bed for sleep time. We have a lot of quality family time in the bed but so far, when it's lights out, she moves to her own spot right next to us.

so yeah, if co-sleeping is really defined as having the baby at arm's reach, whether baby is sharing the bed with you or not, than we ARE cosleeping. It would be nice to just lean over and offer the boob, but the current arrangement sure works better than waiting for her cry and walking down the hall to her crib to comfort her. For us, we will probably put another bed in our room for her, right next to ours, when she's older and outgrows her bassinet. We will do what is best for baby and let her needs, not our own, be our guide. I am a brand new parent, but it seems to me that if baby is tossing and turning and keeping everybody up, than baby is not getting her sleep needs met either...which can't be a good thing.


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## crunchy_mommy (Mar 29, 2009)

9-10 months is a really tough age sleep-wise!!

We were waking several times an HOUR from birth to about 12 months. Somewhere between 12-14 months he started sleeping much better, and now at 17mos he often only wakes 1-2 times a night. We didn't change a thing, he just started sleeping well on his own, though every once in a while he has a bad night or two.

So yes, there are co-sleeping parents/families who get a good night's sleep... they just don't hang out here (I only stumbled on your post in the 'new posts', I don't spend much time in this forum as DS is sleeping so much better.

ETA: I cannot imagine NOT co-sleeping with a bad sleeper... the thought of dragging myself out of bed that often is terrifying!!


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## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

DH gets a good night's sleep for sure; unless DS is inbetween us for some reason and decides to start kicking. As for me; well, I have gotten better and more sleep since having him than I ever did while pregnant. So I am not complaining. That said, DS wakes, MAX, 2x a night to eat, and since we have mastered the side-lying nursing a few months ago, it is no bother at all, I barely wake up.

Do I feel well rested in the morning? well, not particularly, but I haven't felt really well rested since before getting pregant. Well before, since I was waking up early to go work out in the pre-baby days.

but I have gotten at least 2 3-4 batches of continuous sleep since the week we came home with him. If we weren't co-sleeping, I would sleep far worse, because I hate getting out of bed once there, and I am sure it would take DS longer to settle, b/c he's have to get loud enough for the monitor, and me, to hear him respond. By the time I would get to him, I am sure he would either be back to sleep or half way hysterical.


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## CrazyCatLady (Aug 17, 2004)

My daughter is almost six and we still co-sleep. Both of us sleep really well and she normally gets about eleven and a half hours of sleep every night.









It was not always this way though! She nursed a ton at night as a baby. And then she'd pee a lot and need to be changed. It was almost impossible to get her to sleep, she was never tired.

As a toddler she night woke/nursed all night long. We were still rocking/walking her to sleep for every nap/bedtime. She never once fell asleep on her own (except for in the car). She'd wake up in the middle of the night constantly and would want to party.

At three we were still having to rock her to sleep. She often woke up at 4 in the morning and wouldn't fall back asleep. Oh and she almost never did naps.









Then she turned four and almost over night things changed. She could put herself to bed, she slept longer/harder, didn't toss and turn as much...it was awesome.







There's the occasional wet the bed at night, but otherwise all is well.

I don't think co-sleeping hurt her sleep any when she was younger. I think sometimes little ones are just bad sleepers whether or not they're co-sleeping. In my dd's case, I don't think being in a crib or separate bed would have changed anything. And me not getting out of bed each time certainly helped me sleep better. I thank co-sleeping for all the rest I did get.

All and all I've loved co-sleeping and it's worked out really well for us.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

I didnt' with my first until she was 2. She nursed every hour and a half all night. It was rough.

The little one though started sleeping through the night within a couple of months of birth, so I've been sleeping great this time.


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## Beauchamp (Jan 12, 2009)

Honestly? Of course not! I am tired almost every day. But I am also comparing it to the sleep I got when I didn't have a baby, so it's not really fair to compare. She STTN on her own from 7 wks to 6 mo, and then everything went crazy from that first tooth, and I haven't slept since she was 6 mo.









Some days I think about moving her to her own room to start the night, to see if DH and I coming to bed wakes her up. Right now her crib is right next to our bed, and she starts the night in there, when we're not in the room. I also think about gently nightweaning down the road. But so far I haven't made any changes. I just follow her lead.


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## Sharlla (Jul 14, 2005)

id prefer to sleep on my stomach but sleep through her nursing. dh usually takes her in the morning for a couple hours so i can sleep in .
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## StoriesInTheSoil (May 8, 2008)

That is a really difficult age for sleep, mama. I was getting pretty spotty sleep (co-sleeping since birth) until I got pregnant with my second when DS was 19 months old and he naturally nightweaned. At that point his sleep cycles seemed to change and he sleeps through a lot more easily now (knock on wood!) It also helps to have DH comfort him when he wakes and I just pretend to stay asleep. It seems as though he quiets more easily for DH.


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## blimbrick (Mar 18, 2010)

SLEEP? WHAT IS THAT??
The past 2 weeks have been crazy tough, DS is now 9 months and 3 weeks old. He's always been a horrible sleeper, with every development or tooth or cold or separation bothering his sleep. But, I took refuge in the fact that about 95% of the time it was easy to get him to sleep, just nurse and off he went. Well the past 2 weeks I have been a walking zombie cause he won't go down easy, is waking about every hour to either cuddle or nurse, and every other night is waking around 3-4 AM and takes 30-90 mins to get back to sleep. I'm supposed to get up for work at 5 AM but if I can get him back to sleep by 430 or 5, I've been sleeping in a bit and letting everything else suffer. But I am still seriously sleep deprived








Although, I can't say that it's as bad as the time I was trying to get him to stay in his crib all night and he was waking every 45 mins and I was getting up to go to him to help him get back to sleep! At that point I was falling asleep driving into work.
He had worked up to sleeping 6.5 hour stretches right before I came back to work when he was 3 mos, and it has been downhill from there. I blame the fact that I WOH on some of it. He has however had a handful of nights that he has slept 5-6 hours at a time, didn't do anything different he just did it himself. We don't spend much time together during the week. I enjoy the cuddle time b/c he's such a busy kid. DH bugs me every now and again about moving him back to his room, I just don't think he gets it no matter how many times I explain that I will not let him cry! He mentioned it again last night...


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## Mama_Meme (Apr 18, 2007)

DD is 32 months and we're finally getting consistent "good night sleeps" of 6 or more hours uninterrupted more than 5 nights/week. We've coslept since the beginning and honestly, it was incredibly challenging and I didn't really sleep at all for about the first 28 months.
However, now that we're night-weaned, she sleeps through the night and sleeps really deeply and I get a pretty great sleep. and, i'm significantly more used to sleeping with a wriggling little creature, and can't even remember what it is like to sleep alone.
I love sleeping with my DD and I'm so glad that I stuck with it through the first 2 years, which was the most challenging thing of my life, thus far.


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## Knitting Mama (Jan 24, 2010)

We actually get pretty good sleep. My husband sleeps through everything. Cecilia, three months old now, sleeps very well at night. She wakes up to nurse generally twice, and both times I just put my nipple in her mouth and we both go back to sleep. We sleep from about 9pm to 5am, and she goes down again at 6am and sleeps til 9am, while I do my chores and whatnot.


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## e(Lisa)beth (Aug 17, 2007)

We all sleep fine now that we've stopped co-sleeping!







DD and I kept each other awake all night long and that in turn woke up DH. We reluctantly bought a crib at four months and now all three of us sleep like rocks straight through the night. I wish co-sleeping had worked for us but it just didn't.


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## transylvania_mom (Oct 8, 2006)

I would, if I went to bed at a decent hour instead of watching tv







.
I can't complain about co-sleeping with dd (9 months). Dh sleeps in another room so we have the bed to ourselves. Honestly, I don't know how many times he nurses through the night because I don't wake up completely (neither does she).


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## MujerMamaMismo (Oct 28, 2005)

Honestly, it's not great, although at 18mths we've finally moved out of our every 40mins to 4-5 wakings a night. The thing is, for those of us who haven't sleep trained or night weaned our kids and who don't have awesome sleepers, co-sleeping is the best option in terms of maximising the sleep we do get. We have tried every conglomeration of sleep arrangement you can think of and we keep coming back to me and DS is a bed together with DP bunking in sometimes. It's not perfect but it beats getting out of bed multiple times a night.

All that said, I'd kill for 3 nights in a row of 5 uninterrupted hours. I dream of it, often!


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## jessafina (Oct 26, 2009)

Thanks for all of the responses, it's really great to hear from people who are in my same boat and also from people who are sleeping well and loving cosleeping. I love it in theory and I do believe that we as creatures have a need for that comfort and contact while sleeping, especially as babies. But I'm really struggling with the fact that getting into bed with DS every night I feel like he's putting the WWF smackdown on us not to mention in the middle of the night making entire paragraphs out of his two words, BAH and GAH (ball and duck), and nursing all night long.
He has a bed right next to ours and we've been working hard the last 2 days to have him nap in there and stay in there through the night. He's up every two hours like clockwork and we go to him immediately, comfort him, and lie him back down. Sometimes he goes right to sleep, sometimes it takes 45 minutes of laying him back down when he stands up. And it's not without some tears, but one of us is there with him, rubbing his back and soothing him. And sometimes I cry along with him because I'm so tired and frustrated.
None of us are getting the sleep we need, but we're going to stick with this plan for a few weeks in hopes of seeing some progress.
I'm definitely open to suggestions.... and I'll let you know how it goes!


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## Bindigirl (Jul 3, 2010)

I also had a DD (now 3) that wanted to nurse every hour to hour and a half so little sleep was a problem but co sleeping gave me more sleep then I would have gotten if she was in a crib in another room. Now with DS (only 3 months old) he is great about sleeping on most nigths and only feed 2 or 3 times a night. I sleep through most of it. DD is in a toddler bed right next to ours but joins us still in the morning. Most night are great unless DS is dealing with another issue..i.e. gas, stuffy nose... but I wouldn't change it for the world.


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## mckittre (Jan 15, 2009)

I suspect you're getting more negative responses because you're in a forum people won't normally visit unless they have sleep issues.

I've co-slept with my 16 month old since birth, and we all sleep great. He nurses maybe once or twice a night now, it was more when he was younger, but I never woke up much for it. He's a fairly quiet gentle sleeper - I got lucky. I expected to be sleep deprived once I had a baby, but was pleasantly surprised. I wouldn't change a thing if I didn't have a new baby on the way who will need my son's space in the bed (why I'm lurking on this forum a little).


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## TerraNoelle (Oct 9, 2007)

For us we get a good night's sleep [as long as I go to bed early!







]. My 3.5 year old transitioned himself to his own bed about 8 months ago. He starts the night there. And sometimes he sleeps all the way through sometimes he comes in around 2am.

Our 2 y.o. is with us still. We have the crib side car'ed. Aaron [the 2 y.o.] nurses about 2x a night, but generally he'll latch on without me knowing if I happen to be facing him. Or he'll pat me lightly and say nurse, then I just roll over. He has his restless times too though and that usually happens if he's sick or going through a milestone/growth spurt.

The 9-10 month old age is a huge leap for most babies and one of the greatest times when sleep disruption happens. I'm willing to bet it will die back down soon.


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## kittywitty (Jul 5, 2005)

I always do until they start flailing around 2 years old.


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## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Hmm.
At that age, we weren't getting a good night sleep, not by a long shot. DD was still waking to nurse a few times a night, and was a kicky, punchy, fussy sleeper all night long.

Now, at 21 months, we sleep great! She might wake to snuggle w/me or DH once a night, but it's no big deal.

Honestly, if either of us is tired (meaning myself or DH) it's b/c we stayed up too late watching TV together after DD went to bed.









Hang in there. It should get better w/age.


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## texmati (Oct 19, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jessafina* 
DS is such a snuggler, such a contact guy, but I'm starting to wonder if finding a way to get him more sleep wouldn't be more important than all being in the same bed.


Getting a good night's sleep is *always* more important than cosleeping.

co-sleeping in an ends to a means. do what gets you the best night's sleep.

DS still wakes at night weather he's with us or not. So no, I don't get a restful sleep but it still is a lot better than if he weren't with us.


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## hrsmom (Jul 4, 2008)

For the longest time, I got horrible sleep! Then I started relaxing and meditating at night and doing a few other things, and miraculously, we sleep.


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## hollytheteacher (Mar 10, 2007)

We cosleep and I sleep perfectly fine and amazingly AFTER ds FINALLY fallls asleep. For him, it is the falling asleep part that is hard. They staying asleep part he's got down pat. He'll sleep til 9am if I let him







He just really wants to be a night owl i think, but that just doesn't work when i have to leave the house by 7:10am.


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## dziwozony (Aug 27, 2006)

My 3yo, 18mo & I usually get a good night's sleep. Some nights not so much, but usually we do. I have a double bed with a single pushed right next to it, though 3yo climbs into big bed about half the time late at night.

I'm woken up on average 2-3 times per night (usually my 18mo wanting to feed), but I can fall asleep again easily, so usually feel rested in the morning. (Well, I'd always like to sleep in just a bit longer! But I don't feel sleep deprived).

However, when we were sleeping with their dad (we split up in Nov) in bed with us, we all got much less sleep, but he was the type to wake up easily, so that was a challenge.


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## Sunflower223 (Feb 22, 2007)

I sleep well with my 9 month old. I had a hard time in the beginning but now that he is sleeping through the night so am I. That would have been the same no matter where he slept.

I will say however that it depends on the child and the adult. There are a lot of factors that go into getting a goodnights sleep. For example, My oldest child tossed and turned and woke up all night and she is still that way at five in her own bed. She was hard to sleep with. I will admit that.

On the other hand, my middle child is 3 and has been sleeping all night since he was a month old, he sleeps heavy and he sleeps totally still. I never had trouble sleeping with him. In fact he doesn't sleep with us full time anymore but both my husband and I have woken up with him in our arms or across our feet after having climbed in the bed in the middle of the night. He is so quiet and still that you don't even know he is there.

The baby seems to be somewhere in between those two.


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## Katie T (Nov 8, 2008)

We do, but that is only with DH on the couch. I cosleep with the younger 2 and dd is still nursing around 3 times in the night, but otherwise they are good sleepers, she barely wakes to nurse and falls right back to sleep. Ds will sleep through the night but sometimes wakes to go potty but he does this himself so I don't have to get up.

It is when they are not in my bed that I can not sleep. I have had a kid in my bed for 10 yrs straight and some nights DS will fall asleep on the couch with dh and I will try to sleep only to go get him to sleep with me lol.

I hope your little guy becomes a better sleeper, I wouldn't be getting a good nights sleep with that going on either.


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## baglady (Jul 13, 2009)

At that age DS was sleeping terribly. He was so restless. One night I put him in the crib and he slept like a rock all night. That lasted for about a week. It was the weirdest thing. Then he wanted to be back in the bed with us, so he came back and started sleeping a lot better. It was some sort of stage where he needed space I guess. Definitely some sort of anomaly.

I think a healthy sleep arrangement is one that always evolves to accommodate the members. For the most I sleep pretty well; however, when they reach those developmental stages it can be rough. Just keep in mind that whether or not they are in bed with you the night you probably won't sleep very well.


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## Tway (Jul 1, 2010)

My lovely, curious DD has suddenly started rolling all over the bed. This morning I woke up and she was hugging my knees! And last night she kept rolling back and forth between DH and I, pulling my hair or his chest hair (ouch!)--the whole time with her eyes closed! This went on for an hour and a half. Still, way better than trying to get her back into her crib to only have her cry and cry...

The 1/2 night in the crib and 1/2 night cosleeping is the only solutions for our family to get enough sleep. I can't even bear to think of the days before we figured this out!


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## simplyla (Feb 18, 2010)

It must depend on the child (and age, probably). I am continuously amazed that I haven't felt sleep deprived since dd was about a month old! She's a great night sleeper, sleeping from about 7pm-7am with just one or two night nursings (which neither of us have to fully wake up for). She does cluster feed rather regularly before bedtime, getting that belly full, I suppose!

However, during the daytime she never wants to nap, and her crankiness builds all day long until she finally sleeps 2 or 3 hours in the late afternoon, making bedtime a bit difficult. So it's definitely a trade-off... the few days she's napped well, she woke every 2 hours at night!


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## limette (Feb 25, 2008)

We do.

The kids both woke every two hours until they weaned around 20 months. This is fine for me because I am a frequent waker myself.

Once nursing is over they sleep through the night. DD1 sleeps snuggled to dh and dd2 sleeps snuggled to me.

It'll be interesting to see how things go when the new baby arrives!


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## Ambivalent Dreams (Jan 6, 2010)

We sleep fine...

Well, we did until I got pregnant and have to get up to pee 7,000 times a night, but that has nothing to do with co-sleeping.

It is me, DD (3 years) and DH in the bed together. When DD was the age of your DC, she woke up to nurse over and over again. I finally started sleeping when I said to heck with the co-sleeper and put her right next to me with my gown unbuttoned and opened. She could just latch on and off and she wanted and I did stop her. Then, over time, she just stopped nursing at night.


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## laughingfox (Dec 13, 2005)

We are getting a good night's sleep, except for when we stay up too long after DD2 falls asleep, which happens a lot.









Every now and then, when DD1 didn't want to sleep, I'd have to hold her so she couldn't get up. She'd fuss a bit because she wanted to get up and play, but eventually she'd give up and go to sleep.


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## Pookietooth (Jul 1, 2002)

We sleep fairly well most nights, with dd going to bed anywhere from 7 pm to 10 pm, and ds and I staying up generally until 11 or 12. Dh goes to sleep around 10 pm and gets up around 6 am, dd and I usually wake up around 9 am (she wakes during the night usually only once or twice as far as i can remember). Ds sleeps until 10 or 11. Dh sleeps on the couch, dd, ds and I usually sleep all together on a queen bed although sometimes ds sleeps on the living room floor. My only frustration is that dh and I never get any alone time anymore with ds staying up so late (and dh being an early bird). Any of you figure out how to get your older kids to bed earlier? And how do you do cosleeping with two when you want to have them asleep while you stay awake?


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## Everrgreen (Feb 27, 2007)

I'm cosleeping with my 17 month old, who still nurses through the night, and can honestly say I feel well rested


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## PuppyFluffer (Mar 18, 2002)

We are cosleeping with three kids. We all sleep really well and always have.


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## petey44 (Nov 6, 2008)

We cosleep with our 22 month old dd. She sleeps from 9 PM-7 AM(ish) without waking up. If I don't get a good night's sleep, it's only because I chose to stay up late doing something else. We love cosleeping!


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## JudiAU (Jun 29, 2008)

Unless someone is sick, I am getting pretty good sleep and so is DH. But...he sleeps in a twin, our just turned 3 year old STTN in a crib now, and I bed-share with the babe in king and we don't sleep close at all. And this babe won't nurse to sleep (boo hoo).

It is vastly, vastly better than when DS was a son and he slept worse, needed me to get to nurse three times a night, wanted to sleep with us, DH didn't like it, we did use NCSS successfully with very few tears but it took SO LONG blah blah.


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## newmommy7-08 (Feb 2, 2008)

I get better sleep once DH has gotten out of bed in the morning and DS and I can spread out some more, but 90% of that is pregnancy related. DH doesn't get good sleep at all these days. When I'm not pregnant I sleep in the same position all night w/ DS cuddled to me and DH gets to spread out more. Right now, DH gets woken up to hold onto DS every one of the 5 or 6 times I night I get up to pee, lol and usually he has to help me get up! We've considered transitioning DS to his own bed, but what sleep we do get is more important and DS isn't ready. If he starts out in his bed he ALWAYS wakes FREAKING out because he doesn't know where we are!

We're hoping to rearrange our room in the next week and put one of the cribs in it w/ the cosleeper to the bed so we can start trying him in there, because nursing the girls at night would be easier...but if it doesn't work then we'll figure something else out.

DS gets fantastic sleep... as long as he's on my bed he'll sleep through anything. Maybe I should just get him his own mattress like ours LOL


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## rightkindofme (Apr 14, 2008)

My daughter (25 months) and I get good sleep. I get the impression my husband would be better off in a different bed but he won't go sleep alone. I sleep like the dead and defend my sleeping space unconsciously. When my daughter kicks me at night I don't really notice. If my daughter nudges my husband at all he wakes up. She is a pretty active sleeper (much like I was) so I figure it is just my karma.









She has always been a super easy sleeper though. Even when she was night nursing (I night weaned her around 15 months I think) I would wake up just enough to shove my nipple in her mouth and I would be back asleep within seconds. I was FAR better rested with a small baby than I was while pregnant. (I am looking forward to that time again as I'm pregnant and miserable sleeping again.)


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## dakotablue (Jun 21, 2009)

We all sleep really really well (aside from recent cold)

DS (9mths) is pretty much an easy sleeper, but when he was teething there was waking, but I'm pretty easy to fall back asleep and Dh is a solid sleeper.

If I wasn't so easy to sleep with and Dh couldn't turn out everything except little probing hands/feet I don't know how we would do it.


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## JMama58 (Jul 12, 2010)

We have DD2 in bed with us, but we also have the dog in there too. We do get sleep but DD is fidgets as well. I dont have advice.


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## lonegirl (Oct 31, 2008)

We are still bedsharing now at over 3.5y. We have slept well from the beginning....it seemed natural. DS was one who was attached to me practically all night (until he was 2.5y)


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## porenn (Nov 23, 2005)

We do now- my daughter is a little over two, and we have a king sized bed.

But, we've had to go through a ton of different sleep situations to get here.

When she was born, I had her in the co-sleeper next to us. That worked for about two days.

Then, she slept between my husband and I, in our full sized bed, while I slept in the co-sleeper. That didn't work well.

When she was six months old, she stopped nursing, which meant she slept better (because she was getting fed quickly) and my husband got better sleep (because the baby wasn't screaming), but I was still not sleeping (because I was in the co-sleeper).

Once she started crawling, she and I moved into her room, on a full sized mattress with her, and my husband slept in our full sized bed in our room. Everyone got pretty good sleep then.

At a year, we moved our beds to the attic so we could all be together again- My husband on a twin mattress and box spring, the baby and I on a full mattress. We all slept well unless the baby was teething.

Now, we have a king sized bed, and she has a full sized bed, which she never sleeps in. We have some fussy nights, but its usually due to a cold, or teeth, or bad dreams.

The only good thing about not being able to nurse is that I never had to night wean, and was never woken up by a baby that comfort sucked, and so seem to get more uninterrupted sleep than most.


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## Anna GS (Mar 28, 2008)

Our sleep quality has had many different phases, good and bad. We initially used a mini Arm's Reach where he spent part of the night and the rest he was in our bed. Some nights were good and some were not, but DH and I both believe strongly in the benefits of cosleeping for infants and stuck with it. When DS grew out of the Arm's Reach he was in our bed full time. I do think the ease of nursing was a huge benefit for all of us.

About 6 months or so ago, our son started becoming so incredibly restless and active in the night that my sleep began to suffer a lot. Whereas once he would nurse peacefully back to sleep upon waking at night, he would instead thrash back and forth, one breast to the other, for hours and hours. I'm a pretty small person and this has been really hard on my back and my nipples. At first I thought it could be a phase and I should wait it out. As the months went by, I became more fatigued and more resentful of the situation.

I decided to try nightweaning. I was unable to get help from DH, but continued to try on my own using some things from the No Cry Sleep Solution and Jay Gordon's nightweaning. Our sleep then actually got WORSE! Huge regression, hours and hours of refusal to sleep, dramatic nightwakings that would go on for hours. I started to believe that I did actually have a spirited child on my hands. DH would not agree that it was time to transition DS to his own room. So, in desperation I started sleeping alone in DS's (unused) room. This was shortly after DS turned 2, so he is old enough that I feel he would really be okay sleeping in his own bed. He's not dependent on the nutrition from nursing anymore and he has the ability to understand that we have not abandoned him if he can't see us.

Since I left the family bed, DS's sleep has really improved. Not every night has been great, but now that he doesn't have the milk right next to his face, he hardly wakes to nurse any more! Most nights he goes to bed around 8, nurses at 5 am, and then we all get up around 7 am. This is extraordinary.

Unfortunately I have to sleep with the monitor on and listen and get up when he wakes to go nurse him because DH is unwilling to learn to put him back to sleep. Even so, I sleep much better now.

I definitely think it really depends on the child, and one situation may not continue to work for that child at all ages. I think we really have to be flexible as parents to be willing to try different arrangements if at some point anyone is really suffering for too long.


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## Tattooed Hand (Mar 31, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Anna GS* 

I definitely think it really depends on the child, and one situation may not continue to work for that child at all ages. I think we really have to be flexible as parents to be willing to try different arrangements if at some point anyone is really suffering for too long.









I agree.

We are not sleeping well at all. I almost went over the deep end from sleep deprivation about a month ago. Every 1-3 hours for 8 months is not OK. DD doesn't always go back down and if I am not awake keeping the latch properly, she can really hurt my nipples.

DD, DH and I were all on a queen. DD is a very restless and light sleeper and is a massive bed hog. So DH now sleeps on a twin next to a full which I share with DD. It has helped. But last night, for instance, he got up to pee and his ankle joints cracked and DD's sleep got light to the point where she thrashed around, kicked me in the stomach and continued to sleep lightly and kick me for the next 2 hours. Most nights she wakes every 1-2 hours and wants to nurse and refuses to be shushed down. She is just a very sensitive and light sleeper and co sleeping isn't working great. She naps in my office alone and that has helped her daytime sleep, but we still have not figured out the nighttime trick yet. I'm committed to giving it a year, but nightweaning and/or getting her used to sleeping with DH might have to happen then because I don't think I can survive this way for much longer than that.


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## jimblejamble (May 18, 2007)

Sometimes I wake up feeling rested. Usually I wake up tired and go to sleep exhausted. Jude and I are both extremely light sleepers so any movement wakes us both up.


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## OdinsMommy0409 (May 1, 2010)

DS wakes to suckle or nurse every 45 minutes to 1.5 hours during a 10.5-12 hour night. We even had a 2 month period with him waking screaming bloody murder every 20-40 minutes all night. My sleep pattern seems to have adapted, and we all wake up seemingly well-rested. I just roll over let him nurse or suckle and fall back to sleep. I cant tell you how many times I've woken up an hour later with him still latched.

The 20-40 minute period was pure hell, and I came really close to a complete breakdown. Fortunately, he's much better, and I've made a deliberate effort to appreciate the benefits of his night nursing. I still have moments, usually once a month


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## tmwmommy (Jul 21, 2009)

I learned to nurse while falling back asleep which helped a lot. Now that dd is almost 2 she is sleeping for most of the night but usually partially wakes long enough to nurse back to sleep.


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## octobermoon (Nov 22, 2007)

UGH i could have written this post pretty much. i have a 10month old as well. i'm starting some night weaning techniques tonight. :yawning maybe if i break him of the boob it may help. i'm going crazy. the thing is he technically he STTN. he goes to bed at 8 and then sleeps about 5 hours. then from like 1-2 am till 8 am he kicks and fidgets and wants boob the rest of the morning.


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## Nicole730 (Feb 27, 2009)

We got a goodnight's sleep with DS. He would nurse every 2 hours, but by 10 months he would just latch on, nurse a litlte bit and go back to sleep. I was pretty much sleeping through it.

We stopped bedsharing at 14 months because I was pregnant and my milk supply dropped and DS wouldn't sleep, he'd just nurse all night long, like hours trying to get milk out. So at that point we weren't getting enough sleep.

DD is 5 months now and she comes to our bed from the bassinet at her first wake up. Then she nurses once more during the night, again, I'm barely awake and she nurses and falls asleep within a few minutes.


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## ~Boudicca~ (Sep 7, 2005)

I haven't had a good nights sleep since 2007 (that's when dd2 was welcomed into our bed...but she has worn out that welcome







).


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## tangledblue (Apr 5, 2008)

This should be a poll.







Would love to see the results.


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