# ridiculous conversation that I had with a coworker



## roseselene (Aug 3, 2003)

Hi! I was at work the other night. I'm an RN and I was working in the nursery so I was stuck there because I was the only nurse assigned in the nursery so I can't leave unless another nurse is relieving me, so I couldn't walk away from this conversation.

A coworker came in and asked how things were and how my kids are. I said fine, busy, sometimes a little crazy. She said yeah I know, my kids are so busy. I said that EMily was going through and extremely defiant stage right now, just defiant about just about anything. I gave an example of how she peed on DH's lap out of defiance because he had asked her to go potty one too many times. I was sort of laughing about it, kind of like the "can you believe my kid did this..." sort of conversation. Well....her face turned all disgusted and she got really serious on me.
She says, "you need to get control in your house, you need to start taking control"
I sort of turned to give her some non-verbal communication that I wasn't interested in hearing her advice. She kept telling me her advice, In fact she went on about "you need to do this and you need to do that" I asked her plainly "please don't give me parenting advice"
She said....and this I just can't believe "if you don't take control of you kids now, when they are teenagers the law will take care of them for you"








Ok, I realise that this is really immature...but I was so pissed that i put my fingers in my ears and went "LALALALALALALALALALA"
So then she says "i think you really need to be more open minded about taking advice, maybe someone will have some good advice for you".
she kept going on about it and i reiterated that I didn't want her parenting advice.
so then she says "have you talked to your pediatrician about this" I say NO. she says "well, i think you should"







:
I'm like WHY? she says well, maybe you need some professional advice. Please remember that I shared only 1 story with her about my daughter and somehow she has decided that my whole house is completely out of control and I need professional advice. I said that I think defiance is a normal stage for a toddler to go through and I'm not worried at all and since I'm not worried about it, there is certainly no reason she should be. She said, well, even if it is normal, i still think you should go talk to your ped about it...she can give you advice.








i mean really, can this woman take no hints at all.







I turn away from her, i ask her not to give me parenting advice, i put my fingers in my ears and go LALALALALALA....what more hints can you give a person that the conversation is over.
Ok,......i'm just sort of venting here. She really wanted me to get my kids under control and her advice certainly wasn't gentle. ho hum. i won't be sharing any stories about my family with her from now on.
Thanks for letting me vent
Amy


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## Attila the Honey (Mar 15, 2003)

IMO, the only mistake you made there was that you stopped doing the "LALALALA" thing too early. :LOL

Seriously, you live and learn, eh? Be sure to only say positive things about your dd around that coworker from now on! You are right, she seems a little dense for persisting with the advice after you made it clear you weren't interested.


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## mommaJ (May 3, 2005)

:LOL







:LOL








way to go with the LALALALA and fingers in the ears. OMG that cracks me up!! Some people just cannot take hints! Good for you, sorry you got stuck listening to that load of bull.

If you ever get stuck with her again, when she pauses from a long-winded advice rant you could say, "I'm sorry, where you saying something?" with your best innocent face.


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Attila the Honey*
IMO, the only mistake you made there was that you stopped doing the "LALALALA" thing too early. :LOL

:LOL :LOL :LOL


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## TortelliniMama (Mar 11, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *roseselene*
So then she says "i think you really need to be more open minded about taking advice, maybe someone will have some good advice for you".

My response: "Maybe. Too bad that someone isn't you."







:

Of course, by "My response," I really mean, "The response I'd later wish I had made but wasn't quick enough to come up with at the time." :LOL She sounds like a real gem of a coworker. At least if you're keeping her busy, she can't go and terrorize patients and their parents...


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## AntoninBeGonin (Jun 24, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *roseselene*
She said....and this I just can't believe "if you don't take control of you kids now, when they are teenagers the law will take care of them for you"









Oh no! Does that mean that my son will still throw food on the ground when he's 18 and in college? And how will he ever get a job if he cries everytime he doesn't get his way!









~Nay


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## applejuice (Oct 8, 2002)

I honestly never talk about my personal life at work.

If I ever need to take time off for something personal it is something I discuss with a supervisor who needs to know.

That is it. Most people do not have enough sense to shut up or stay out of your business.


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## IncaMama (Jun 23, 2004)

omg what a psycho!! i hate talking to ppl like that. i ususally just try to shock them and make them think it's even worse than it is. honestly, i keep thinking that if i convince them that my own children are behavior nightmares and i'm mellow about it maybe when they get home and their kids spill something on the couch they won't lose their sh*t on them because "well...it's not as bad as Michele's kids!!" i don't give a rat's butt what other people think about how i discipline (or don't discipline, in their eyes) my kids. but if i can somehow change their perspective in a sneaky way, i'll do it. LOL that is, of course, if they're the kind of people i can't talk to rationally about my GD choices and sway them that way.

anyway...she's a psycho lady. sorry you had to deal with it.


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## chfriend (Aug 29, 2002)

It really is funny how these work conversations make you realize how wacky much of the rest of the world is. For me it was sleep stuff and EBF...although I did recently state to a co-working that the supernanny could kiss my @ss.

Nothing but fluffy cute positive stories for these folks....


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## roseselene (Aug 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AntoninBeGonin*
Oh no! Does that mean that my son will still throw food on the ground when he's 18 and in college? And how will he ever get a job if he cries everytime he doesn't get his way!









~Nay


Not only will he be doing that, but the law will take control of him for you! :LOL


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## EmMomof6 (Sep 22, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Attila the Honey*
IMO, the only mistake you made there was that you stopped doing the "LALALALA" thing too early. :LOL


Exactly what I was thinking! :LOL


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## irinam (Oct 27, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *applejuice*
I honestly never talk about my personal life at work.

If I ever need to take time off for something personal it is something I discuss with a supervisor who needs to know.

That is it. Most people do not have enough sense to shut up or stay out of your business.

Same here. For the same reason. Sigh... I guess I am antisocial


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## mamajody (Jul 3, 2004)

I learned not to share my wacky toddler mishap stories with my coworkers. They never thought they were funny, and the always took a really judgemental stance on my parenting philosophies. I always felt like I was trapped in some weird alternate dimension when i was at work because my philosophy of child rearing was so different from theirs. Incidentally I was a kindergarten teacher and I took a lot of flack for not bullying my students into abject submission to my will as well. It is one of the reasons I left my job. I no longer had the energy to get on the soapbox in my own defense....


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## flyingspaghettimama (Dec 18, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AntoninBeGonin*
Oh no! Does that mean that my son will still throw food on the ground when he's 18 and in college? And how will he ever get a job if he cries everytime he doesn't get his way!









Well, and Amy's daughter will apparently still be peeing on people. And THE LAW will have to step in to solve that problem.

"Miss, did I see you peeing on someone back there? I'm afraid I'll have to give you a ticket. Didn't your parents ever teach you anything?!"


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flyingspaghettimama*
"Miss, did I see you peeing on someone back there? I'm afraid I'll have to give you a ticket. Didn't your parents ever teach you anything?!"


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## roseselene (Aug 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flyingspaghettimama*
Well, and Amy's daughter will apparently still be peeing on people. And THE LAW will have to step in to solve that problem.

"Miss, did I see you peeing on someone back there? I'm afraid I'll have to give you a ticket. Didn't your parents ever teach you anything?!"









:


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## mike (Sep 5, 2005)

Well maybe you do need to be more open minded about taking advise I don't know what exactly she was triing to tell you but if you would of just listened and said thank you for your advise i'll consider that she would of probably stoped triing to convence you. Remember nothing is always wrong even a stoped clock is right twice a day. There are no facts only interpatations.


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## Raven (Dec 15, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mike*
Well maybe you do need to be more open minded about taking advise I don't know what exactly she was triing to tell you but if you would of just listened and said thank you for your advise i'll consider that she would of probably stoped triing to convence you. Remember nothing is always wrong even a stoped clock is right twice a day. There are no facts only interpatations.

of course. But this women INTERPERATED and ASSumed that roseselene's family was out of control after hearing one story (which in my opinion is a story that conveys natural behaviour patterns in a toddler) and that if she didn't take control of the (perceived) situation then the child would turn into a delinquent and end up with the Law telling her what to do and where to go.


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## roseselene (Aug 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mike*
Well maybe you do need to be more open minded about taking advise I don't know what exactly she was triing to tell you but if you would of just listened and said thank you for your advise i'll consider that she would of probably stoped triing to convence you. Remember nothing is always wrong even a stoped clock is right twice a day. There are no facts only interpatations.

Perhaps you didn't read at the end of my post where I said that her advice wasn't gentle. Also, maybe I'm off on this but most of my friends and aquainances don't give out advice that is unasked for, unwanted, etc. Usually I would wait until someone asks for advice before dispensing it. And, oh and I'm not really open minded to someone telling me that my toddlers are going to be in trouble with the law.
Amy


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## TortelliniMama (Mar 11, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *roseselene*
Perhaps you didn't read at the end of my post where I said that her advice wasn't gentle. Also, maybe I'm off on this but most of my friends and aquainances don't give out advice that is unasked for, unwanted, etc. Usually I would wait until someone asks for advice before dispensing it. And, oh and I'm not really open minded to someone telling me that my toddlers are going to be in trouble with the law.
Amy

Amy, you already figured out the correct response to this sort of "helpful" message, didn't you?

<fingers in ears> "LALALALALALALALALALALA"

:LOL


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## roseselene (Aug 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TortelliniMama*
Amy, you already figured out the correct response to this sort of "helpful" message, didn't you?

<fingers in ears> "LALALALALALALALALALALA"

:LOL

well.......I was sort of thinking that....but I didn't know if I should say it....
but, since you brought it up.....

LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA

:LOL


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## Mackenzie (Sep 26, 2004)

*just enjoying the LALALALALALALALA visual* :LOL


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## sassykat (Sep 7, 2005)

Has this co-worker ever met your children? I'm curious, because this reminds me of a family member of mine...she's always on alert when my children are "acting up". Then, if we talk on the phone later, and I mention anything negative at all, she pounces on it and lets me know how I should have handled my children--it's like she waits for the opportunity to say something. And my children and I receive compliments often in public (we homeschool and are out and about during the day often), so it's not like they are consistently misbehaving-- they are just acting like children.

I've done what the other posters are advising--I only discuss positive, happy times with her now, which I can tell annoys her--she even tries to lure me, "So, have the kids been stressing you out?" and questions like that, LOL!!







I have also stopped calling her.















:
Kat


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sassykat*
"So, have the kids been stressing you out?"

"No, but I did get this spiffy new recipe for bean dip." :LOL


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## roseselene (Aug 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan*
"No, but I did get this spiffy new recipe for bean dip." :LOL


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## roseselene (Aug 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sassykat*
Has this co-worker ever met your children?



Weird, but no. In fact I hardly ever work with her, I hardly ever really talk with her. She really had nothing to go on except that one story which is why I thought it was so utterly bizzarre. Also, she has 3 kids and the oldest one just turned 5, so I would think she would know what its like to have crazy toddlers. Guess I was wrong.

Amy


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## sassykat (Sep 7, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan*
"No, but I did get this spiffy new recipe for bean dip." :LOL











_"In fact I hardly ever work with her, I hardly ever really talk with her. She really had nothing to go on except that one story which is why I thought it was so utterly bizzarre."_

That is bizarre--and, doesn't she know that it is practically the kiss of death














to criticize in that way?!! LOL Especially with three of her own under the age of five...

I always tell my friends who have no children...having children humbles you to the dirt! They're usually the ones who don't completely "get it".









Well, good luck in avoiding her in the future!














:
Kat


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## 4evermom (Feb 3, 2005)

On a side note, if I was sitting on someone's lap and he kept telling me to "go potty," I would probably pee on him, too.

My ds HATED being asked if he needed to go so I quickly learned not to ask.

I think your response of LALALA was completely appropriate.


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## mike (Sep 5, 2005)

ok I see your point, but it is clear your solution wasnt as effective as you would like it to be. If you would just thank them for there advice and tell them youl consider it thay would probaby stop talking, and you can remeber thats your polite way of saying shut the fu## up you ignorant bit##.


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## TortelliniMama (Mar 11, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mike*
ok I see your point, but it is clear your solution wasnt as effective as you would like it to be. If you would just thank them for there advice and tell them youl consider it thay would probaby stop talking, and you can remeber thats your polite way of saying shut the fu## up you ignorant bit##.

You know, that's an interesting point. I think we'll all have to consider that. Thank you.


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## Mommy!Mommy!Mommy! (Sep 15, 2005)

["
She said....and this I just can't believe "if you don't take control of you kids now, when they are teenagers the law will take care of them for you"









all that over a minor potty learning issue, Man, feel sorry for anyone this woman potty learned from. better go pee, don't want "the law" after me!

Control? she must be very old school in her thinking..
some advice you take thankfully and the rest you file under G for garbage!


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## applejuice (Oct 8, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *irinam*
Same here. For the same reason. Sigh... I guess I am antisocial









Probably for the best.

I have worked in a private religious school for five years, and no one knew my religion...


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## Crunchier (Jun 26, 2003)

I'm a psychology student. I think I have the benefit of mostly hanging around ppl with enough of a background to understand at least some of the things we do in our family that are very different. I do have the occasional random conversation with a crazy preachy person. Fortunately Ben is around the school and my classmates and professors enough that most ppl I talk to have him and seen what a fabulous kid he is, but I do run across some who haven't and assume that he must be a hellion, whiney, bratty, spoiled and that I'm one of those parents who thinks that their kid is the end all and be all. I don't. If anything I have too expectations of him and myself. And Ben is constantly being complimented for being so clever, intelligent and well behaved. I have gotten quite a few lectures about my parenting and how I'd better do this and that, "or else". Whatever.


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## Sillygoose (Oct 20, 2005)

I'm totally going to put "LALALALALA!" into my repetoire of handy responses to a$$vice.


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## chiromama (Dec 29, 2003)

I wonder why this woman would think that you should get assvice from your pediatrician for this percieved problem. I mean, the pediatricain is who you see when you are SICK. If this child really had some horrible emotional problem, why see a stupid doctor? Wouldn't the best place be a child psychologist? ugh. it's just another way MDs end up screwing things up. Of course the MD would tell you htat you were a horrible mother and that you were ruining your kid with all your weird parenting practices.








Ok. Rant over!
things like this are why i am selective whom i talk to about my personal life at work. if I get even one ounce of ick, I just don't cover that topic again. I have a low threshold for assholes.


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