# My newborn will only sleep if held or on a pillow



## 128375

It's only the second night at home. But he will only sleep on a soft pillow. Is that ok? Can you experienced mama's recommend a bassinet that is cushy and craddly with a soft pillow bottom. He refuses to sleep in his playard bassinet. He'll stay for about 10 mins in his car seat. I really want to get a bassinet that will give him that soft cushy pillow feeling but it seems like they all have hard flat mattresses. Any advice or bassinet recommendations?


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## Bokonon

It's not safe for a baby to sleep on a pillow or soft surface. Are you swaddling him?


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## 128375

i've read that it's not safe but I can't tellwhy isn't it safe on a pillow with him next to me in bed or on a couch? I've tried swaddling. He really doesn't like it and flails until he's unwrapped. It just seems like he likes feeling wedged in between something soft or being held. Looking for a safe recommendation that will meet that need. Is there any kind of bassinet that gives baby a more closely cuddled feeling.


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## Bokonon

Have you looked at Moses baskets? That's the only kind of infant bed I can think of that is like that. The reason soft beds/pillows are unsafe is because of the risk of re-breathing carbon dioxide, which can cause suffocation or SIDS.

Many babies don't like being swaddled at first, but some can only sleep while swaddled. Your baby just spent 9 months, more or less, cradled in a warm, weightless home, and sleeping flat on his back is very unfamiliar and scary. I highly recommend reading Harvey Karp's "Happiest Baby on the Block" if you haven't already - I recommend it to anyone with a baby, as a matter of fact!

We still swaddle Peepers and she's 7.5 months old! She can sleep without the swaddle, but not as well or as long. She smiles when I am swaddling her.


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## Fullmoon

Pillows are not okay because the cover presents folds in the fabric, and some pillows are so cushioned that when the babe is put down on it it creates an indent in the pillow with them on it. This is bad _because_ babies do not have knowledge of suffocation and if they angle their head in a way whereas the pillow somehow blocks their mouth/nose they wouldn't know to pull away. This is why crib mattresses and bassinets are not cushiony, because they could cause harm to the little one; the same reason blankets are harmful, and even bedsheets if not tight enough. Also, these things are supposedly causes for SIDS(but remember there is no real explanation for SIDS).

I am not against using pillows, so if baby is put on a pillow, should be monitored during rest periodically.


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## sarahtdubb

Congrats on your new baby, mama!

I don't have any recs except to give my experience--which is that my babe would only sleep in our arms or on our chests until he was about 5 weeks old. We spent a lot of time trying to find other things that worked, but nothing did. That was just what he needed at the time, and while it felt hard then, sleeping with him on me is one of my fondest memories of when he was a little baby.

He also would not tolerate the car until about 1 year old...

Not to scare you at all, just to tell you that real babies are not like the ones of TV who peacefully go down in a crib, etc. At least mine wasn't! But he pushed me to find the most compassionate sides of me, and to be close to him whenever possible, and I'm thankful for it.

Good luck!


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## sunshynbaby

The first thing that comes to mind is a baby hammock. Pillows are too dangerous. I really enjoyed holding my newborn baby when he slept at that age, but we also swaddled and put him down in a cradle after he was in a deep sleep.


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## hotharmony

First I want to say congratulations! Your baby sounds perfectly normal, this is how babies are they just want to be on or near us at all time it's a survival instinct.

Secondly let me point out that it is never safe to cosleep on a couch or in a chair.

Secondly I would highly suggest co sleeping and reading up on how to do so safely. Here is a list of safe co sleeping.
http://babyparenting.about.com/od/sl.../cosleep_2.htm


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## JordanKX

well I clearly break all the rules (so be careful with my advice!!!), but I wrapped his bassinet mattress in two blankets to make it cushier. It was still tight - even at 3 months now, he still is unable to pull at the blankets and loosen them up, despite his greatest attempts - but just a little softer. Seems to me, the main thing is Watch them!! Pillows and big blankets scare me, even if I'm right near by, but a little extra cushion... making sure their face cannot get buried... and checking on them often... you should be okay.
And I definitely agree with other posters about swaddling. DS didn't like it at all (definitely didn't like the process of Getting swaddled), but once he's in it and starts to nurse, his eyes close and he sleeps deeper and longer -- Especially in the first few months when the arms are crazy and wake them up.


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## cileag

maybe one of those lambskin/or faux lambskin crib covers? I also recommend swaddling. Good luck!


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## 128375

thank you so much mamas! i gave swaddling a second try and





















It's like I got a new baby in a matter of seconds! It's exactly what he needed even tho he fought all the way thru the swaddling.

he stays down in the bassinet now even tho he fusses a little from time to time, he lulls himself back to calm. He slept in it all night with no real need to be held. I took him out to nurse a few times and he went back in with no worries.















I feel so much better. HOOORAY for swaddling blankets!


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## koalove

i didnt read all the replies, and i might be alone on this one, but ds2 was like that and we started putting him to sleep on his belly on the firm co-sleeper pad, and he slept 100 times better. the sids risk here is off gas from plastic crib mattresses but we didnt have one, so we werent concerned. also, when he was that little we were never far away~ usually in the same room.


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## Beene

Quote:


Originally Posted by *preciousstone* 
It's only the second night at home. But he will only sleep on a soft pillow. Is that ok? Can you experienced mama's recommend a bassinet that is cushy and craddly with a soft pillow bottom. He refuses to sleep in his playard bassinet. He'll stay for about 10 mins in his car seat. I really want to get a bassinet that will give him that soft cushy pillow feeling but it seems like they all have hard flat mattresses. Any advice or bassinet recommendations?

Mine was like that too. He would wake up the second we'd put him on a harder surface. It's a big danger to have him sleep on a soft pillow, especially once he starts to roll over. I ended up getting one of those inflatable mattresses people use for camping with the divets (sp?) and that was good for him (with supervision so there are no deflation dangers) because it was hard enough to support his back, but his butt and head fit right into the divets...He would fall asleep in my arms and then I would set him down, nurse him back to sleep, and voila!


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## rhiandmoi

They have sheepskins for babies to sleep on. For tiny babies you put it under the crib sheet. The reason there are always those pictures of babies on sheepskins is because they used to lay babies on sheepskins to sleep.


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