# Consistently wasting food... discipline issue?



## kerilynn (Sep 9, 2005)

My 3 yr 10 month old has become a consistent food waster
It started with not wanting to eat bread crusts
then not the ends of bananas
then not the tops of broccoli
you get the idea

Just an example of yesterday
Breakfast - eggs and bacon. He asked for it, then refused to eat one bite of his eggs. I left it at the table, fully intending to re-serve the eggs for lunch







: but my DH threw them away when I was nursing/putting our 3 month old down
Lunch - chicken & tomatoes ... ate it all
Snack - apple, ate half, and thats ok
Dinner - steak, pasta, broccoli, garlic bread, all stuff he normally eats
He didn't want the tops of the broccoli. He asked for milk to drink. I gave him a 4 oz cup, he took 2 sips, and then was asking for water.
Before bed he asked for a banana, and refused to eat the ends, until he was crying, covering his mouth, and I just sent him to bed because through all of my explaining why we don't waste food [daddy works hard to buy it, there are limited amounts of food in the world as it has to be grown, many kids are hungry and we should appreciate what he have] it was just ... a struggle, so I ended it.

I have just about had it with throwing food away. I give him small portions, I let him choose, and still ... this.

Are there logical consequences? The only fruits he really eats are apples/bananas, so I feel like I can't take those away. He doesn't nurse anymore, so if he refuses the eggs, and the milk, I am concerned about the fats he is getting for the day [thank goodness for cod liver oil, I suppose]

Help!


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## BellinghamCrunchie (Sep 7, 2005)

I would definitely NOT attempt to try to find consequences for him listening to what his body is saying about food. Teaching him that he has to eat what he has asked for just teaches him to not listen to his hunger cues or his senses about what he wants.

Its hard to see food wasted and its also really a pain to feel like a short order cook, having to prepare something different because he wouldn't eat what he initially asked for. Or the next thing. Or the next thing.

Kids really have a hard time being able to judge sometimes how much of something they want, and what they want. They get it wrong a lot.

What we do is focus on saving what is not eaten for later. Not for DD to eat later, necessarily, which upsets her, but for someone to eat later. Banana pieces are wrapped and put in the freezer for banana bread later. Eggs would be covered and put in the frig. Etc. Teaching them how to not waste food doesn't mean they have to eat it - you can also teach them how to put it away for another time or another use.

For the constant changing of their minds about what they want to eat, I will sometimes ask DD what she would like, but more often, I tell her what I'm fixing and ask her if she doesn't want something to let me know. I try to prepare a plate with 3 things on it, at least one of which I'm pretty sure she is going to eat. If she absolutely doesn't want any of those things, and I think she really is hungry, I'll offer one more thing. But that's it. She should be able to find something she'll eat from among four things - if not, she's probably not really all that hungry. She also might be misreading her hunger cues (sometimes kids think they are hungry when they are thirsty and vice versa), so I make sure she has something to drink.


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## GuildJenn (Jan 10, 2007)

I think that this one will probably gradually resolve itself over time, as long as you and your husband are modelling respect for food and other resources.

One interesting thing I read in _Mindless Eating_ was that between the ages of 3 to 5, kids gradually shift from eating solely because they are hungry or not hungry to more social-cued eating. So if you give a just-3 year old a bowl of cereal, he will stop when he is full. But if you give a 5 year old a bowl of cereal, he may finish it to get to the bottom of the bowl, or because kids around him are eating, or he may stop eating it if other kids say that it's yucky.

What I took from that was that during this transitional period there will probably be a lot of experimenting with food and hunger and food and social behaviour and food and control.

My general effort is towards sidestepping as much conflict as possible (like the PP I don't offer too many choices and I stop short-order cooking after ONE alternative) and leaving my son room to work it out. I also give very small first portions (one egg, one small mini-bagel, one small snack bowl of edaname, etc.) to cut down on the amount wasted. And I have gotten creative about the soup pot.









I consider him developing his tastes and the ability to choose -- really choose -- healthy food for himself a cheap lesson even with the price of food these days.


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## Flor (Nov 19, 2003)

This seems like normal toddler behavior to me. I just serve _tiny_ portions. I don't serve the parts they don't like. I cut crusts for 2 years, now at 5 he says the crust is his favorite part. I think that controlling food causes bigger problems. I'd never force my child to eat anything (ok, other than necessary meds.).


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## Raene (Jul 24, 2008)

I too get annoyed with this kind of behavior, but after all, we don't want to teach our kids to ignore their body's signals and to just clean their plates. We have our DD stick her plate in the fridge for later if there are leftovers, and then when she's hungry again, that's what she can have. It might be strict, but we can't afford to waste, what with the cost of organics, and I don't want to teach her that it's acceptable to throw things out.


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## Anastasiya (Jun 13, 2006)

I'm the opposite of some PPs. I am not a short-order cook, what I serve is what we eat, and there is no room for options unless it's a peanut butter sandwich.

My thoughts are that kids in third world countries eat a bowl of what? rice? day after day, meal after meal, and have no option to be picky about what Mom makes. Kids in the past - our grandparents, for instance - didn't get to be picky. If they were hungry, they ate. I can't imagine a mother during the Depression era fixing several meals for a child who can't decide what he really wants. And today, with our money as tight as it is, I'm not about to do it either.

In our home, I do ask the kids what they'd like for breakfast. They usually know, and will usually eat pretty well. For lunch, I ask what they'd like, and if they are hungry they eat; if they aren't they don't. There is no option for "another" lunch since they can always have a snack if they like. For dinner, I call the shots and they can take it or leave it. They must always try one bite of everything, though, because my kids are notorious for saying they don't like something without ever having tried it. (And usually when they try it, they like it). I'm sure some of you won't agree with me on this or say how harmful it is, but I don't force my kids to finish their plates - only to try everything.

If, after sampling dinner, they just cannot bring themselves to eat it, then their only option is a peanut butter sandwich. That's it.

We never do desserts so they aren't punished by being deprived of any sweets, either, so that's good.

Things like milk and juice I'm not picky about because I prefer they don't drink them anyway. I'll just put what's not finished back in the fridge for later. Juice is only offered in the morning though (apple juice), and it's never refused.









Fruits I'm not picky about because what they don't eat, I will.









ETA: And I also don't offer only what I know they already like, because that changes daily here. In fact, it was only because I kept offering peas over and over again that I finally have happy pea-eaters.







My kids also LOVE salads, broccoli, most other veggies, and all fruits, only because I kept serving them and insisting they try just one bite.


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

I would try to give him even smaller portions. I know that in my house, nobody will eat the bit of banana that somebody bit into, but if I cut the tops off FIRST those "extra banana bits" can go into a smoothie and nobody minds.

Would he eat slices of banana rather than a whole banana? Then the extra slices aren't "his leftovers" but "food nobody has eaten yet that can be put away for another meal." I've found that a sliced apple can be shared among various family members, but an apple bitten into and half eaten ends up being garbage.

When my kids were small, I'd serve milk and juice in sippy cups (or at least cups that had lids that could snap on later) and unfinished beverages went into the fridge for later.

I also think you need to talk to your DH about throwing away leftovers on a toddler's plate.


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## ssh (Aug 12, 2007)

I agree that eating only part of your food isn't a discipline issue. You don't want your DS to have food issues as an adult or obesity problems ( like many of the adults in our culture). We put pieces of banana in a closed container on the counter. If you use it within 24 hours hours it still looks good (not browned or mushy). With left over apples we usually just cut off the brown parts before eating. My DD is about 9 months younger than your DS and still very picky at times. We just give her very small portions and then more if she wants it.

It sounds like your DS's eating behaviors are pretty normal. Are snacks available whenever your DS wants them? Being able to snack at will can improve nutrition. Young children's diets tend to appear more balanced if you look at what they eat over a week instead of one day. Also nuts, avocados, cheese, and yogurt are good sources of fats.


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## KatWrangler (Mar 21, 2005)

Not a food issue, just normal toddler behavior. My nearly 3 year old is driving me crazy with this right now. I will make her food (what she has asked for) and then she will pick at it or won't eat any of it and say she is done. I cover it and put it back in the fridge. I tell her she can have that later. If she asks for something else, I remind her that her plate is in the fridge.

This isn't about discipline.


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## Serendipity (Nov 12, 2005)

In addition to tiny portions, I also just try not to think of it as wasted. If she had eaten it, it would be gone kwim?


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## oceanbaby (Nov 19, 2001)

Unfortunately that sounds pretty normal. My only suggestion is to serve smaller portions. When it gets extreme I may refuse to make a certain food when requested, but I never force them to eat anything. I believe strongly in following what your body tells you about what to eat when, and how much (except sugar cravings - I believe those are due to the addictive nature of sugar). But when ds1 asks for two fried eggs, I will often tell him I will make him one now and another one later if he still wants it.

As much as the food waste bothers me, I am sympathetic because I have a sensitive stomach - if I eat something I don't want it makes me sick, even if it's something I normally like. Sometimes I don't feel like eating the dinner that I myself planned and cooked, and if someone were to force me it would make me ill.

BTW, we have the exact same banana and broccoli thing here too. Thankfully, ds1 likes the stalks and ds1 likes the crowns, so it works out. But I sure do wish they made half bananas! I usually put the uneaten part in the fridge for smoothies.


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## VeezieTG (Nov 10, 2006)

this is why i'm glad younger ds is self-feeding solids. he gets ALL of older ds's picky castoffs and he never complains or says he wants something diff. lol

i also have a big calendar up (weekly, eraser board), and along with activities we are doing, we put up what we're having each day for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. we put up the whole weeks every sunday afternoon after grocery shopping, and i let ds help me. he picks out the pictures of the food to stick up there. knowing exactly what to expect every day seems to have squashed alot of his pickiness. the snacks are the only options he gets, day of. everything else is already "decided."

he is just 3 but he responds best when things are RULED UPON. he is a stickler for following his schedule and the posted rules. he loves going to the board in the morning and announcing to the rest of us what we are all eating for breakfast, etc. if he starts saying that he doesn't want to eat something, we talk about why we chose that particular thing for that day, and he knows that someone else in the family will eat it, and then he will not get anything else until his next scheduled snack or meal.

we always eat everything together and i've become used to making smaller portions for my bf and i, and then we eat julien's leftovers. most of the time, he'll insist he wants nothing else, and as soon as bf reaches his fork over to get it, he suddenly decides he wants it more than anything else! maybe we're tricking him into being "hungry" tho. the theory of his progression from hungry eating to social eating strikes me as something to do more research on...


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## mama_mojo (Jun 5, 2005)

I know this is not the common idea here, but I don't offer options at any meal. I also do not ever expect a child to eat everything they are served. They eat what they eat, and then the meal is over. If they ask for food before the next meal/snack time, I offer sliced apple or cheese based on what was served at the last meal/snack time. That's it.

FWIW, my kids eat a larger variety of food than any of their friends; we have less stress at the table than any other moms I know personally; my DH and I like sharing meals with our kids. Now... If we could just get the table manners to a place more acceptable to us.


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## Evan&Anna's_Mom (Jun 12, 2003)

Just a food safety note -- if you do want to save and re-serve food, please put it in the fridge immediately after the meal and reheat it properly. The eggs and bacon, if left on the table all morning, would have become a major food safety hazard. Those are high-protein, moist foods, the absolute perfect medium for most food-borne pathogens.


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## staceychev (Mar 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mama_mojo* 
I know this is not the common idea here, but I don't offer options at any meal. I also do not ever expect a child to eat everything they are served. They eat what they eat, and then the meal is over. If they ask for food before the next meal/snack time, I offer sliced apple or cheese based on what was served at the last meal/snack time. That's it.

Same here. I don't make a second meal. Sometimes I'll ask DD what she wants for dinner (usually, she asks for salmon







), but then again, I also sometimes ask DH what he wants for dinner.


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## cappuccinosmom (Dec 28, 2003)

Quote:

I know this is not the common idea here, but I don't offer options at any meal. I also do not ever expect a child to eat everything they are served. They eat what they eat, and then the meal is over. If they ask for food before the next meal/snack time, I offer sliced apple or cheese based on what was served at the last meal/snack time. That's it.
Same here.

To me, refusing to eat the ends of a banana is not the same as eating half a banana and stopping because he's full.









But I don't force it or punish for it. "Oh, you don't want those? Well, the little vaccum cleaner we call your baby brother will be happy to take those off your hands".







However, if they don't eat what is available, there is nothing else.

Dh grew up knowing *true* hunger, and while we are not poor, we do have to watch our money and there is no room in the budget for throwing good food away, especially if a child *likes* it but is choosing because of attitude or some other issue to reject it. I make an effort to ensure there is always something the children like to eat. If they don't want to eat it then, fine.


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## ktmama (Jan 21, 2004)

This may seem a bizarre response, but you've gotten some good ideas about handling your dc, so I won't add to that. Just want you to know that composting has really helped shift my feelings about what is "wasted" and what is not. Although I don't like it when food's not eaten, it doesn't bother me so much if I can throw the scraps/leftovers in the compost container, knowing it will help nourish the new food-growing garden next year.


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## kerilynn (Sep 9, 2005)

Hmm
Well, we don't compost or garden, living in a townhouse
and we don't have a little eater to take his scraps
and I have issues with slob/spit that I cannot eat something someone has taken a bite out of.
I am just NOT OK with him wasting food.


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## nigellas (Jun 18, 2006)

Save the broccoli tops in the freezer for soup or pizza toppings, or a casserole - whatever.
Save the banana bits in the freezer for smoothies.

(cut them off before hand if you know he won't eat them so they won't be "slobered on"


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## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kerilynn* 
Hmm
Well, we don't compost or garden, living in a townhouse
and we don't have a little eater to take his scraps
and I have issues with slob/spit that I cannot eat something someone has taken a bite out of.
I am just NOT OK with him wasting food.

Then cut everything into small pieces and give it to him a little at a time, as Ruthla described.


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## GuildJenn (Jan 10, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kerilynn* 
Hmm
Well, we don't compost or garden, living in a townhouse
and we don't have a little eater to take his scraps
and I have issues with slob/spit that I cannot eat something someone has taken a bite out of.
I am just NOT OK with him wasting food.

I didn't say in the first post I made but - remember that to a young child still learning about the world, the ends ARE different; the crusts ARE different, etc. That's just as real to him as the spit issue is for you. It's a sign of his growing awareness and independence that he is noticing/asking/etc.

It does not mean you have to always make him something new, but I'm not sure it's going to be a huge benefit to be upset about the pieces he's leaving behind.

I wonder why this is a hot button for you? Is it a money issue? Are other issues coming into play?

We adults can think much further ahead and either plan our budgets accordingly (for example, not getting "single serve" containers that waste food beyond toddler appetites), offer very small portions, etc. during the really very short period that this kind of thing lasts. It can be an ongoing conversation.

I suspect, myself, that pioneer kids were also picky but their mothers just threw everything back in the pot or gave it to the next child, or adult, or worker. Etc. (I.e. were not so picky about the spit.







)

So, the logical consequence to me would be hunger.

Creating the hunger is not a decision I'm actually comfortable enforcing at my house for the most part - that is, I'm content to wait _longer_ (not forever) for my son to get older so that we can stop the small, controlled waste we sometimes have (because I serve food in very, very small portions), over letting him go hungry until he finishes the apple or whatever. Because we're not out on the prairie trying to make it through the long winter.

But I do think that's your consequence right there.


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## Shera971 (Nov 26, 2008)

I think that there is a lot of good suggestions here so I'll just add in a perspective from some one who used to be a VERY picky eater. When OP stated her DC wouldn't eat the end of the bananas I thought "Holy crap - that sounds like me!" When I was a kid certain things about food would completely turn me off and make me feel nauseous. Like if there was a lump of apple in my apple sauce I couldn't eat it. I could never eat the bottom end of a banana... you get the idea. Anywhoo, my parents were very patient with me and eventually I grew out of it. As of today I eat a huge variety of foods (maybe a bit too much !







: ) and am always willing to try new things. But that didn't come until I was an adult.

I can understand why OP wouldn't want to teach her toddler that wasting food is ok, but I think its also important not to _force_ a child to eat.


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## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GuildJenn* 
I suspect, myself, that pioneer kids were also picky but their mothers just threw everything back in the pot or gave it to the next child, or adult, or worker. Etc. (I.e. were not so picky about the spit.







)

I believe that is, in fact, the case.


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## octobermom (Aug 31, 2005)

HE not only sounds normal but I would have been beyond thrilled if mine ate that well at 3 (or heck nnow at 6







) things I've learned
1) give very small portions I've split an apple and cut it into 8ths give her 1-2 slices and save the rest repeat if needed. I open bannanas by breaking in half and remove the ends which I personally hate my self HUGE texture no no in my book.

2) plate share we have an array of foods she seems to like one day and not the next and it can cause a lot of headaches I end up "plate sharing" this way I can just give her a tiny portion from my plate (especially if we are eatting out) and its not a huge waste if shes decides she doesn't want any if shes does I can get her more.

3) pack the left overs. If I give her milk and she doesn't finish it it gets put in the fridge (properly stored) and gets it again if shes wants latter or the next meal same with foods. Now I'm not meaning we give the same meal over and over or forcce foods shes doesn't want but foods that she would otherwise eat gets saved

Deanna


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## octobermom (Aug 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mama_mojo* 
I know this is not the common idea here, but I don't offer options at any meal. I also do not ever expect a child to eat everything they are served. They eat what they eat, and then the meal is over. If they ask for food before the next meal/snack time, I offer sliced apple or cheese based on what was served at the last meal/snack time. That's it.

FWIW, my kids eat a larger variety of food than any of their friends; we have less stress at the table than any other moms I know personally; my DH and I like sharing meals with our kids. Now... If we could just get the table manners to a place more acceptable to us.

We are the same here however to be fair we have a HIGELY picky eatter but she has other sensory issues in play. Still having fairly form rules on meal times helps eliminate a lot of fussing even if yes it means she still wont eat a lot (though what she does is fairly healthy) Now sure sometimes I ask what she wants for dinner and sometiems I plan a known favorite or there might be a single choice with in a meal like at lunch I made sandwhiches she got to choose eaither turkey or PB and J and some fruit I let her choose an orange or a bannana ect..
Deanna


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## Polliwog (Oct 29, 2006)

Honestly, it doesn't (based on your limited description) seem like he's wasting that much food. Put away what you can, give small pieces, and cut off banana ends and broccoli tops for other uses.


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## SquishyKitty (Jun 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Flor* 
This seems like normal toddler behavior to me. I just serve _tiny_ portions. I don't serve the parts they don't like. I cut crusts for 2 years, now at 5 he says the crust is his favorite part. I think that controlling food causes bigger problems. I'd never force my child to eat anything (ok, other than necessary meds.).

This. He'll outgrow it, for the time being, give him topless broccoli, crustless bread, and bottomless bananas. It could also be a sensory thing. I'd just ride it out, unless it gets worse.

Banana ends are great for smoothies, BTW.


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## LizzieMac (Jan 2, 2009)

Nope, not a discipline issue at all.

It sounds like you are the one wasting food, not him. Besides preparing smaller portions, there's plenty of ways you could use / re-use the food that he doesn't consume right that minute.

It also seems kind of unfair that you're allowing yourself to have issues with slob/spit, but you are not allowing him to have texture issues with the parts of foods that he eats.


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## One_Girl (Feb 8, 2008)

I don't think this is something to discipline a child about. Save the food that can be saved and eat it yourself or reserve it if you can do that without making the reserving a power issue. Maybe he is ready to have other foods with similar textures introduced again. He may just be tired of the food that he is used to eating, especially if he is used to being picky about his food. Taste buds change frequently and it can take several times of introducing a food before a kid decides they love the food. I don't see a problem with not eating crusts or cutting off the ends of things, crust is gross and ends get mushy. I have also made myself something I thought I really wanted to eat and then felt repulsed by the food once it was actually ready so I don't think he should be disciplined for having the relationship with food that adults have with their food.

He may like the food more if you cut it into different shapes and call it different names. I cut our food into triangles, circles, sticks, etc... just to make it more fun for dd.

He is a bit young to really care that other people are starving, he is still at an age where it is hard to understand that all needs and desires are not similar to his needs and desires. He may also be coming down with something or just not needing as much food for energy because he isn't in a growth spurt.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

One thing I do is I have a container in the fridge in which I put anything that will taste OK in soup. I make soup often enough that I just throw everything in that container into the soup. If I'm not planning on making soup in a few days, I keep the container in the freezer. Any veggies, most meats, any beans, pasta even, can go in that. That takes care of most "waste".

Leftover fruit can be used for smoothies and what-not.

Really, I'd just relax about it and find another use for the food. It doesn't have to be wasted. Also, he's only 3, and 3-year-olds simply are picky about stuff like the ends of broccoli. I got the soup container idea from my mom, who got it from her mom, who raised 8 kids during the depression and WWII and had to deal with "wasted" food back then too. This isn't a new issue. People just found a way to deal with it in the "good ole' days".


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## Shera971 (Nov 26, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LizzieMac* 
It also seems kind of unfair that you're allowing yourself to have issues with slob/spit, but you are not allowing him to have texture issues with the parts of foods that he eats.

Intersting way of looking at it. Do you look at the food you won't eat due to slob/spit wasteful?


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## bscal (Feb 13, 2006)

I was a VERY picky eater as a child. My parents enforced the "clean your plate" rule and would make us sit at the dinner table until our dinner was finished. I will never force a child to eat and I'll never make a child clean their plate. I am still somewhat picky, btw. I sometimes cut the crusts off my sandwiches too (both my girls don't like them). In my house though, that's what dogs are for! They love bread crusts.

Anyhow, I agree with others who said serve smaller portions and serve it the way your dc likes it. I serve a variety of healthy choices at each meal and the kids eat what they like. I do nicely request that they try everything on their plates before having seconds of any one thing. I split up apples and such between my 3 kids but you could very easily cut up and apple and store the leftovers for later.

I also feel like putting a ton of food on a child's plate can seem overwhelming. My kids are much more likely to eat well if they start off with very small portions. An example:

Lunch:
1/2 peanut butter and jelly sandwich
thin apple slices (1 apple split between them)
ants on a log (celery w/pb and raisins - 2 each)
cheese cubes - 4 each

I also try to make their plates "pretty". I cut the sandwiches into triangles, fan the apple slices out... presentation has a lot to do with whether my oldest is going to look at it and say "This looks YUMMY, Mom!" or "Ew.Gross.You.Know.I.Don't.Like.Celery!" As soon as she doesn't like something and announces it, 3 yr old DD doesn't like it either. That's why we make waffle faces all the time. I use fruit for the eyes, nose and mouth and yogurt for the hair. Easy way to get a balanced healthy breakfast into them. And it's lots of fun if I just put out bowls of fruit and let them make the faces themselves. (Yep, I encourage my children to play with their food.)

HTH,
Beth


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## VeezieTG (Nov 10, 2006)

The spit issue:
I'll eat it if my kid just took a bite and then left it. But if its anyone else's or if its been bitten from for awhile its probably not healthy to eat it.

The compost idea is awesome. I also live in a townhouse, so I don't have the ability to grow my own food, but I was thinking, maybe you could compost anyway and donate to a local grower that you buy from, so that technically your waste would be going back into your food anyways? Do growers take other people's compost? Cos if they do, I'm totally going to do that.

PS
My MIL tells my 3 year old, "Don't you eat this!" then holds a piece out on a fork and turns her head and he always eats it just to see her reaction when she turns around and the piece is gone. I know this is like extreme cos its time consuming and you're basically feeding your 3 yo but he doesn't really "like" what she serves (pusta, ugh! i don't blame him!!) but he always eats it this way. i've seen him finish off half dozen pierogies in a sitting with my MIL coaxing him this way. He just can't resist!


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## peaceful_mama (May 27, 2005)

I'd go ahead and cut off crusts. that's not too big a thing.

with the eggs, I'd put them in the fridge for him or somebody later. That happens a lot around here.
If the kids don't eat it, DH does later usually.

I serve teeny little portions and let them ask for more.

I ask them if they want to try certain things--like at the holidays when there was some new/unfamiliar stuff. Or today I asked DS if he wanted lettuce and onion on a sandwich, stuff like that.
and then if they say yes I put just a little bit (like a bite or two) on their plate. they rarely say no to anything. Once it's there I don't say anything else about it. If they like it they can have more. If they don't even try it, it's not an issue.

DD especially has likes and dislikes that change daily. with her I just give her her tiny first portion, if she refuses to eat, or only eats a little, fine.

also lots of times I take a smaller portion for myself and then finish what they've abandoned







it works.

My main goal is that they learn that it is not OK to throw food away. So I'm open to options as long as that's the end result.

but I'm finding with DD now I'm really also having to watch giving in to requests for "milk"---either by realizing that she probably needs to eat and offering food, offering food *before* she can get to the point of whining for milk--mostly by then it is too late, she won't accept the alternative. And I've recently started a no milk immediately after you leave the table policy, in the hope that she will realize that if she does not eat, she will be hungry for awhile. (they're allowed water anytime, if she's thirsty she will take it.)


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## schreiberwriter (Aug 3, 2005)

Too many calories are in a way, wasted food.

Really enjoyable discussion!


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## Fuamami (Mar 16, 2005)

This happens at our house, too. I have considered taking over control, and not asking, but I think it's too late. My kids have very distinct tastes, and they want the things they want. In retrospect, I wish I would have just continued deciding for them, but in reality, I'm not that organized and a lot of time it's easier for me to ask what they want when they say they're hungry.

I'm lucky because we have chickens, so it all ends up going to them, and then coming back to us in eggs. But even if we didn't, I think it's okay to let it go a little bit. I think about people who don't have enough food, too, and just try to be thankful that we do.


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## Marsupialmom (Sep 28, 2003)

Not eating tops of broccili?? Why not you eat the top he eat the bottom problem solve. Give him one partial top and let it bed. I have 2 kids that love cooked spinach 1 will only eat it raw. So I pull some to the side for that child and cook the rest for us. My kids will only eat raw carrots. So when we make roast I only put in enough for me the kids just eat the rest raw.

Half of a banana instead of the entire thing. I don't like the ends either...it is a texture things or over ripe banana, again a texture.

I also agree with smaller portions. It might be he is simply eating less because he isn't growning not needing the calories.

I am not a short order cook. My dh isn't one at home--he cooks for a living and sometimes he plays the part when he gets paid to at work. LOL We do make small concessions like above. It is easy to not cook carrots and put the raw ones on their plates instead of cook. Or pulling a serving of spinage to the side.

As for crust, IMO it is what you allow. My kids eat the crust. I have heard them tell their friends here you eat the crust. My house is were a few friends habbit of not eating the crust changed. They always saw us eating it. We didn't cut it off so it was their control to eat around it. We also usually have sandwhiches that goes to the edges and over. We have a variety of breads with different crust.


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

Quote:

I gave him a 4 oz cup, he took 2 sips, and then was asking for water.
Here - I would have said, when you've emptied your cup.


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## Carita (Mar 3, 2008)

Just to add another perspective - my DH grew up poor and him mom always told him to finish his plate of food because of how hard they worked for it. He struggles with his weight. And he knows a lot of it is because he doesn't know when he is full. He knows that it has to do with him mother demanding he finish his meals and guilting him to think of the starving kids who don't have supper.

I would def take the advice of the PP and give him only a little at a time. If he doesn't eat that, I would save that for snacktime or with his next meal.


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## chfriend (Aug 29, 2002)

With the milk and water question, I'd have gotten a cup of water and handed it to the kid.

Can't really imagine jumping through any particular hoops to get water....


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## hipumpkins (Jul 25, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Marsupialmom* 
Not eating tops of broccili?? Why not you eat the top he eat the bottom problem solve. Give him one partial top and let it bed. I have 2 kids that love cooked spinach 1 will only eat it raw. So I pull some to the side for that child and cook the rest for us. My kids will only eat raw carrots. So when we make roast I only put in enough for me the kids just eat the rest raw.

Half of a banana instead of the entire thing. I don't like the ends either...it is a texture things or over ripe banana, again a texture.

I also agree with smaller portions. It might be he is simply eating less because he isn't growning not needing the calories.

I am not a short order cook. My dh isn't one at home--he cooks for a living and sometimes he plays the part when he gets paid to at work. LOL We do make small concessions like above. It is easy to not cook carrots and put the raw ones on their plates instead of cook. Or pulling a serving of spinage to the side.

As for crust, IMO it is what you allow. My kids eat the crust. I have heard them tell their friends here you eat the crust. My house is were a few friends habit of not eating the crust changed. They always saw us eating it. We didn't cut it off so it was their control to eat around it. We also usually have sandwiches that goes to the edges and over. We have a variety of breads with different crust.

I agree with this. right down to spinach. I even made spinach last night and DS had it raw while the rest of us had it cooked.
Also the top if the banana is too pointy or something. I always break it off, too.
anyway..you could also turn the food into other meals if you really are striving to not waste food.
Like for the eggs (Had they not gotten accidentally chukced) make wrap later in the day and even add the bacon.
Banana pieces can go into a smoothies. Half apples can be sliced up and dabbed with lemon jice to be served later with some honey for dipping.

I wouldn't expressly tell him that he wasting food by not finishing something. (If he is tossing food from the fridge directly into the garbage then yeah ..that is wasteful)
You can teach non wasteful behaviors by serving small portions and if your DC complains and wants more..then say if you are still hungry of course you may have more but I don't want to have throw away uneaten food.
Left over drinks go in the fringe and water is served all day. If DD asks for more OJ..I say it's in the fridge from breakfast. Her glass is right there.

Although one thing shocks me..Who doesn't like the broccoli TOPS??? In my house all the bottoms are mine to eat


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