# Would you apologize?



## Marsupialmom (Sep 28, 2003)

Yesterday, I reminded my 15-year-old son his dad was not going to be home until late. I then asked him if he had swim practice. I reminded him I needed to know so I could arrange a ride.

He said no swim practice.

But He did have a swim meeting -- he didn't tell me that.

Since I did not know, he had a meeting and could not ride the bus home. I did not find him a ride. I work from 1-10 pm and we have only one car. Therefore, there is no way I could have just left and got him. I was working and could not find him a ride. Even at that, our back up rides need more than 5 minutes notice in non-emergencies.

He is 15, not 5. He ended up walking 5 miles home.

He is still grumbling. I do not feel sorry. If he would have told me in the morning he would needed a ride I could have arranged one.

His argument is I asked if he had a swim practice. He did not have a practice, he had a meeting and those are two different things.

My opinion if he wants to ignore part of the conversation and not put two and two together he is going to miss many things. This time he missed a ride and had to walk. Next time?? Who knows but he really needs to pay attention. I could see it if I had not told him that he dad was not going to be able to pick him up. I could see it if I had not mention I would need to arrange for a ride.

********

Actually, this paying attention thing is on my last nerve. Our friends move the Halloween party from one home to the next. This year was our turn. This was decided last Halloween (we are new to the group). We had talked about, planned, ET for a year. Three days before he had no clue, it was as if we mentioned the party for the first time. We know we have discussed it with him and around him. He just did not pay attention.


----------



## just_lily (Feb 29, 2008)

I probably would, but I am Canadian, and it is just what we do!







But I wouldn't do it in a way that puts the responsibility on you, just in a way that validates his feelings of frustration.

"I'm sorry that you had to walk home last night, but you know that I can't arrange rides for you at the last minute when I am working and Dad isn't home. What can we do to make sure this doesn't happen again?"

And then work together to find an answer. He isn't 5, but he isn't 35 either. Responsibility and organization are learned behaviours, and I don't think most 15-year-old boys are experts in either. Is there a schedule printed in advance? Can he get one from his coach? Do you have a big calendar where you can write down where everyone has to be?

I think that once he gets passed his anger this will be a good learning experience for him.


----------



## Marsupialmom (Sep 28, 2003)

The schedule that is printed is not correct. That is why I asked him.

This is the end of the season. They have had to do some schedule change because of pool issues.

I like how you said to validate his feelings. I will admit I have not done that. I am really annoyed with him right now.


----------



## HappilyEvrAfter (Apr 1, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *just_lily* 
And then work together to find an answer. He isn't 5, but he isn't 35 either. Responsibility and organization are learned behaviours, and I don't think most 15-year-old boys are experts in either. Is there a schedule printed in advance? Can he get one from his coach? Do you have a big calendar where you can write down where everyone has to be?

I think that once he gets passed his anger this will be a good learning experience for him.

This.

Has he always been this "black and white" kind of person? Or is his literal thinking something new?

I still don't think it's something I would "apologize" for...he is 15 afterall.
IMO, I don't think you own any fault on this one.


----------



## lynsage (Jul 13, 2004)

Does he have a planner? He is old enough to keep track of practices, appts, meetings, etc. in a planner. Then when you ask him if he has anything after school, he can look in it and tell you what's going on.

I would apologize that he feels hurt by the situtaion but ask him to acknowledge what he could have done differently and remind him that he old enough to handle the responsibility of letting you know when he will need a ride home regardless of the semantics of the question you ask when trying to determine what he is doing after school.

A big wall calendar might help too, as the PP suggested. We don't have teens- just me, my partner, and a small child, but we keep track of appointments, social engagements, chores etc. on dry-erase boards where everyone has access to them.


----------



## HollyBearsMom (May 13, 2002)

personally I hate apologies with a "but" in it. To *me* that indicates that a person is not truly sorry for their actions but instead want to push it on you.

He is pissed becuase deep down he knows it is his fault he had to walk home. So I do like the idea of validating his feelings.

I would ackowledge his anger and then let it go.

(oh and I would be uber annoyed too!)


----------



## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

"I'm sorry you didn't think things through.. that must suck" Probably isn't the apology he was hoping for.


----------



## plunky (Aug 23, 2008)

No, I wouldn't apologize. Five miles isn't a bad walk, in any case, unless it's through a dangerous area. He'll think next time.


----------



## Super~Single~Mama (Sep 23, 2008)

I've walked 5miles home before when I've made a mistake. And, I didn't make that mistake again!!

I would let it go, he'll get over it pretty soon.


----------



## ollyoxenfree (Jun 11, 2009)

Dealing with grumpy teens isn't fun, is it?

I agree with everyone who says you should validate his feelings, but I wouldn't apologize. You tried to avoid the problem, asked him directly about his schedule and reminded him that a ride might need to be arranged.

You shouldn't apologize for working, or having one car, or not being able to read his mind (even if you are a mom and it's expected, lol!). Having to walk home is a natural consequence of not being organized and not paying attention.

It's a learning opportunity. Agree with him that it's too bad there was a communication problem. Talk to him about how to avoid it in the future. Ask him to come up with some solutions.

Hopefully, the memory of the 5 mile walk will motivate him to take a little more responsibility for communication and organization. If you assume that responsibility instead, you're cheating him of a growth experience.

Good luck (as mom to 2 teens, I have a lot of sympathy)!


----------



## mamakah (Nov 5, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Marsupialmom* 
Yesterday, I reminded my 15-year-old son his dad was not going to be home until late. I then asked him if he had swim practice. I reminded him I needed to know so I could arrange a ride.

He said no swim practice.

But He did have a swim meeting -- he didn't tell me that.

Since I did not know, he had a meeting and could not ride the bus home. I did not find him a ride. I work from 1-10 pm and we have only one car. Therefore, there is no way I could have just left and got him. I was working and could not find him a ride. Even at that, our back up rides need more than 5 minutes notice in non-emergencies.

He is 15, not 5. He ended up walking 5 miles home.

He is still grumbling. I do not feel sorry. If he would have told me in the morning he would needed a ride I could have arranged one.

His argument is I asked if he had a swim practice. He did not have a practice, he had a meeting and those are two different things.

My opinion if he wants to ignore part of the conversation and not put two and two together he is going to miss many things. This time he missed a ride and had to walk. Next time?? Who knows but he really needs to pay attention. I could see it if I had not told him that he dad was not going to be able to pick him up. I could see it if I had not mention I would need to arrange for a ride.

********

Actually, this paying attention thing is on my last nerve. Our friends move the Halloween party from one home to the next. This year was our turn. This was decided last Halloween (we are new to the group). We had talked about, planned, ET for a year. Three days before he had no clue, it was as if we mentioned the party for the first time. We know we have discussed it with him and around him. He just did not pay attention.

I don't see what you would apologize for:
"I'm sorry I didn't read your mind and arrange a ride for you..."








His needing to walk home was his own fault. At 15 he is perfectly aware enough to know what you meant when asking him about practice.
My mom used to get so mad at me for stuff like this. It taught me to "anticipate" consequences of my carelessness. It also taught me that I have to start relying on myself a bit instead of expecting my mom to arrange and fix everything for me.


----------



## enkmom (Aug 30, 2004)

I would say "I'm sorry you had to walk. I don't like it either. What can we do to make sure it doesn't happen again". You are not saying that you're sorry you didn't pick him up, and you are not saying "it stinks to be you", you are saying you don't like this situation either and are willing to help find a solution.

My daughter, and my husband too, have ADD. I can't punish them for something they really can't help. Is it possible that his inattention is not selective?


----------



## GoestoShow (Jul 15, 2009)

.


----------



## Violet2 (Apr 26, 2007)

I don't think it's fair for him to displace his anger on you. I would not apologize and instead emphasize it was his responsibility to communicate his schedule which he failed to do.

Validating feelings is fine, but the displacement and projection onto you would bug me. People who displace and project are sometimes not very good friends or partners and I, personally, would want to nip that dynamic in the bud.

I used to tutor a kid who was brilliant but had terrible dyslexia and didn't want to do the work to compensate for it. Every single one of his mistakes, he blamed on me. I was just a 'dumb tutor'. I had to bite my tongue and refrain from saying 'in corporate America I chewed up and spit out people like you. The only reason you're getting away with this behavior is because I'm just a tutor and you're just a kid, but try this crap when you're 18 and working for me to see how far it gets you.' It was unpleasant to work with him and he would become upset when I politely showed him how he made the mistake.

ETA: My student behaved the same way with their mom. She actually apologized and took responsibility for things like forgetting her kid's workbook in the other room. And he would yell at her and blame her for things he should be able to handle himself. It was ugly.

Anyway, you know your kid, so take all this with a grain of salt, but in summary, no apology and some frank discussion of how it's not healthy to evade personal responsibility by blaming everyone around you.

V


----------



## kirstenb (Oct 4, 2007)

I agree that I don't think there is anything for you to apologize for. I think a 15 year old is able to start taking responsibility for some of these things. You asked him if he would need for you to arrange a ride and he said no. It sucks that he had to walk (I remember a few times as a teen where I would have to find public transportation to get home because of the same thing), but hopefully it'll be a learning experience.


----------



## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

Lots of good advice here! I'll just add that I don't think you should phrase it as "What should _we_ do to keep this from happening again?" but rather, "What can _you_ do?" Seems like splitting hairs but it really does make a difference. This is a great opportunity to help him enable himself.

And don't over-think it.


----------



## vegemamato (Jul 4, 2007)

I wouldn't apologize, but I would express to him that I understand his feelings and frustration. He is old enough to take responsibility, and you are not at fault.

I like the idea of discussing how the two of you can prevent this from happening again.. He is 15- this is a _good_ lesson to learn, even if he doesn't get it


----------



## notjustmamie (Mar 7, 2007)

Wow. I really have sympathy on both sides for this. On the one hand, yes, I feel like a 15yo is old enough to keep track of his own schedule and let you know when he needs a ride--you should not have to read his mind that he'd need a ride. On the other hand, he's right, you didn't ask "Will you need a ride home?" but "Do you have practice?"--he should not have to read your mind that you were asking if he needed a ride.

Now, if he's "playing dumb" to get you to take responsibility for something he's plenty old enough for, that's one thing, but if he really did hear your words, interpret them literally and answer honestly ... it might be worth apologizing for your own lack of clarity. I wouldn't personally apologize that he had to walk home, though, as he knew he wouldn't have a ride and didn't ask for one.


----------



## mama2mygirl (Dec 14, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nextcommercial* 
"I'm sorry you didn't think things through.. that must suck" Probably isn't the apology he was hoping for.

That's the apology he deserves.
He's old enough to know what you were asking--did he need a ride.


----------



## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *notjustmamie* 
Wow. I really have sympathy on both sides for this. On the one hand, yes, I feel like a 15yo is old enough to keep track of his own schedule and let you know when he needs a ride--you should not have to read his mind that he'd need a ride. On the other hand, he's right, you didn't ask "Will you need a ride home?" but "Do you have practice?"--he should not have to read your mind that you were asking if he needed a ride.

From the OP:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Marsupialmom* 
Yesterday, I reminded my 15-year-old son his dad was not going to be home until late. I then asked him if he had swim practice. *I reminded him I needed to know so I could arrange a ride.*

OP: No. I wouldn't apologize. That's so completely ridiculous. The fact that he's upset with you would really bother me if he weren't 15. However, I do know that kind of totally bizarre reaction is fairly common at that age, and he'll probably outgrow it.


----------



## SunshineJ (Mar 26, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nextcommercial* 
"I'm sorry you didn't think things through.. that must suck" Probably isn't the apology he was hoping for.

Yeah that's probably akin to any apology he'd get over here. If you HADN'T pointed out that you would need to arrange a ride home for him if he had after school activities it would be different and I could actually grant him some leeway on this one. But, well, you did point it out and he spaced it and that really must suck for him.


----------



## jeca (Sep 21, 2002)

My son is only twelve and is starting to do things like that. I can ask him a question but since I didn't ask him in a particular way then I may not get the right answer. I don't think you have anything to apologize for and it will probably make him think it through next time.


----------



## chfriend (Aug 29, 2002)

Any chance of a "I'm sorry we had a miscommunication and that meant you had no ride. Let's try to figure out how we can keep this from happening again." kind of talk?


----------



## Alyantavid (Sep 10, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *vegemamato* 
I wouldn't apologize, but I would express to him that I understand his feelings and frustration. He is old enough to take responsibility, and you are not at fault.

I like the idea of discussing how the two of you can prevent this from happening again.. He is 15- this is a _good_ lesson to learn, even if he doesn't get it









That exactly.


----------



## CarrieMF (Mar 7, 2004)

He's 15, why can't he arrange his own ride home? Was there nobody on the team he could have asked to give him a ride?


----------



## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

He didn't tell you that he needed a ride.

He didn't take the initiative and tell his friends that he needed a ride.

He walked 5 miles home.

5 miles isn't gonna kill a kid on swim team. It might even help with his endurance







.

He suffered the natural consequence of his failure to communicate with you.

That being said, I would say that I was sorry he had to walk home, and work with him on a plan for him to communicate his schedule better so you can avoid this.

Have y'all tried something like Google Calendar? It's what dh and I use to keep our schedules in order. I have one for work (that dh can see, so that he doesn't ask me to do things during times when I teach), and we have one for the family. Dh also has a work one, that he doesn't share with me because 99% of the time it's irrelevant. When dh has a meeting that will impact me, he puts it in the family calendar. (Each person's calendar is a different color too, which helps.)

I like it because if dh puts his meetings in the calendar, then I know to be home. If he forgets, then he's responsible for organizing child care. You could work out something with your son. If the event is in the calendar at least 48 hours in advance, you'll work out transportation. If it's not, that's his job.


----------



## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

I'd laugh in his face. And then apologize for that as in "I'm sorry it was mean to laugh, but seriously dude, I ASKED if you had practice, get over it."


----------



## Wild Lupine (Jul 22, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ollyoxenfree* 







Dealing with grumpy teens isn't fun, is it?

I agree with everyone who says you should validate his feelings, but I wouldn't apologize. You tried to avoid the problem, asked him directly about his schedule and reminded him that a ride might need to be arranged.

You shouldn't apologize for working, or having one car, or not being able to read his mind (even if you are a mom and it's expected, lol!). Having to walk home is a natural consequence of not being organized and not paying attention.

It's a learning opportunity. Agree with him that it's too bad there was a communication problem. Talk to him about how to avoid it in the future. Ask him to come up with some solutions.

Hopefully, the memory of the 5 mile walk will motivate him to take a little more responsibility for communication and organization. If you assume that responsibility instead, you're cheating him of a growth experience.

Good luck (as mom to 2 teens, I have a lot of sympathy)!


----------



## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

heck no I would not apologize. I would also tell my kid to stop whining and carrying on and that if they want to be in afterschool activities it is their job to get it all together and keep it organized. honestly if my kids talked to me like that it would be the end of that activity. You shouldn't have to ask him if he needs a ride nor should you have to play guessing games or go though a list of possible reasons he may need a ride. It is his responsibility to come to you and say "I have this tonight, how can I get there and back? Can you help me figure something out?" and the whole blaming you for his failings is definitely something I would address if it were my kid. he is 15. not five. Not that I would accept that sort of whining and not taking responsibility from my 5 year old either.


----------



## Dar (Apr 12, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Marsupialmom* 

His argument is I asked if he had a swim practice. He did not have a practice, he had a meeting and those are two different things.

When my kid says stuff like this, generally what's going on is that she knows she screwed up and is feeling stupid about it, and is irrationally blaming me because she is trying to hold on to her own shreds of self-esteem. It's hard to be a teen sometimes, because making stupid mistakes than an adult would sort of shrug off can feel really huge, and admitting one's own stupidity also feels huge.

So, yeah. I wouldn't apologize, but I would be sympathetic. If my kid was really locked into wanting me to apologize and admit that I was wrong I would disengage from that by sort of restating that I don't feel that it was my responsibility to prevent the situation but I realize that this was a tough afternoon for her and I wish things had worked out differently. My kid would get over it in a day or so, usually, and then a few days later I might bring up ways of preventing future issues, but I'd wait until this was less fresh.


----------



## lifeguard (May 12, 2008)

I definitely wouldn't apologize.


----------



## lonegirl (Oct 31, 2008)

:

Did he not have a friend on the team that he could catch a ride with? Maybe he should have a back up plan.


----------



## gcgirl (Apr 3, 2007)

Oh heck, I used to walk four miles to and from school (each way). Big whoop. I agree with the other posters that you should validate his feelings (but not apologize) and ask him how he wants to work on fixing the problem in the future. Maybe he DOES need a planner.

ETA: I'm wondering - was there no one he could have asked at the meeting to drive him home? Surely someone might have taken pity on him if he'd explained the situation?


----------



## Marsupialmom (Sep 28, 2003)

Thanks for your input!

I have not apologized. Sympthized that he did not like the walk. But I really do not feel sorry for him.

I do think his attitude is because he is not wanting to admit his foolish mistake.


----------



## pigpokey (Feb 23, 2006)

Oh wow. You guys are not all going to like this, but I would probably stop arranging rides for him altogether. Dude can use the phone. He can arrange his own ride or I would gladly outfit him in whatever wind-cutting winter bike gear he needs and after that he can be part of the solution against juvenile diabetes.

There is a 15 year old in my life who absolutely is horribly disrespectful with his mom about his schedule and when he wants to be picked up where. I got a little taste of it when he was staying with me a couple of weeks ago and had lost his cell phone for running up the bill. He would borrow a phone, make arrangements for me to meet to pick him up, and then not show. Twice. I ended up leaving him and he walked. My own child was late to a private lesson in another city because his world left no room for logistics.


----------



## pjs (Mar 30, 2005)

No, I wouldn't.


----------



## swd12422 (Nov 9, 2007)

OMG, I think I'm married to your son! (I swear, he's insisting that he's 39 years old...)

I have the same conversations with DH ALL THE TIME. It's maddening. And while the logic is correct, he needs to learn what they call "context clues" sometime in 8th grade and get the full meaning of the conversation, not just the words that are actually spoken. I wouldn't apologize, but I would work through his need to use logic when he's out in the world and not be so literal.


----------



## jjawm (Jun 17, 2007)

No, and I don't believe in apologizing for things that aren't my fault, like "I'm sorry you didn't arrage a ride". I might say "I feel bad that you had to walk that far" but sorry? No.


----------



## mamadelbosque (Feb 6, 2007)

Another vote for a 'hah, that've sucked! Maybe next time you'll think for half a second before answering?' Seriously, how is this AT ALL your fault?!?!


----------



## St. Margaret (May 19, 2006)

PLEASE don't feel too bad. As a teacher of kids his age, I beg you to do what you are doing, validate his feelings, and keep holding him to a reasonable standard of responsibility. The kids who learn to take on responsibilities bit by bit, instead of getting bailed out every single time, are so much more delightful AND successful by the time they're wrapping up high school. I know when I failed to arrange for a ride home, at a little bit older than that, I just walked home, too, and just felt a bit stupid for not having taken my bike in the first place. I would never get mad at my mom about that, but then, she never bailed me out when it was my fault with no terrible consequences, so I learned it was on me.


----------



## Theoretica (Feb 2, 2008)

I think you handled it GREAT mama!

And don't apologize, at least not for you doing anything wrong.

I've told my 16yo PLENTY of times "I'm sorry this didn't work out the way you expected it to" and meant it. Because I do, I know he's frustrated and annoyed, and I'm sorry! It's not my FAULT, and he's become an amazingly responsible kiddo...I think BECAUSE of handling it this way. It's a logical consequence, it sucks, it'll be a good gentle reminder of how to plan better in the future!


----------



## gbailey (Mar 10, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nextcommercial* 
"I'm sorry you didn't think things through.. that must suck" Probably isn't the apology he was hoping for.

I love it!


----------



## LessTraveledBy (Feb 9, 2005)

I thik HE should be coming to YOU whenever he needs a ride arranged. Why do you need to try to remember to arrange things for him?


----------



## bestjob (Mar 19, 2002)

Teens see things oddly. That's why they get to have great adults in their lives.

Point out that he's the one who knew there were time obligations. Point out that you offered. Refrain from making the connections in an "I told you so" tone of voice.

That's it. Job done!

In about 70 years he'll come to you and thank you.

Moms all want to live to be 100 years old. That's because they figure that's about the time their kids will be able to say "thanks". I'm 48 and I still don't think I can say it to my mom. It's that hard.


----------



## ~Leonor~ (Oct 5, 2009)

I would express I'm sorry he had to walk, but not take responsibility for it. 15 is old enough to show some awareness, he should have told you.


----------



## Ann-Marita (Sep 20, 2003)

No apology needed, at least not from you.

(Now HE might want to apologize for blaming you, later.)

I think that "I'm sorry" is an expression of empathy. "I'm sorry you feel that way."

"I apologize" is an expression of responsibility. "I apologize for getting mad at you for having to walk home when it was my own fault."


----------



## A&A (Apr 5, 2004)

I'm surprised he couldn't have gotten a ride home with a friend. That seems like the best solution.


----------



## Labbemama (May 23, 2008)

I would emphathize. "wow you walked 5 miles, I imagine your feet were really tired."

Ultimately it was his choice to walk. I'm sure he could have found SOMEONE from the swim meet to give him a ride in such a pinch, or a friend's house closer to the school or something.

I would probably compliment him on his making it home safely and handling it so you didn't have to leave work to go get him, how responsible. Making the best of a bad situation so it didn't jeopardize your working.

My kids are too darned lazy to walk 5 miles and would have just hassled me at work until I would have left. LOL. But ultimately it was HIS problem. He was the one stranded at the swim meet. (Dang that love and logic class) They would suggest he pay you for a cab ride home. But hey he just saved you the cab fare.

My teen dd,16, she gets her nose out of joint if SHE Changes her plans and I'm not there to pick her up at her whim. So walking home is always an option. I cannot wait until that girl gets her license and becomes a taxi service for her siblings. (Evil laughter)

I guess I'm "mean" and if it was one of my kids I'd probably laugh privately while I thought, "Let the consequences do the teaching." He didn't die from walking 5 miles and I hope he's extra careful in the future about his after school plans. With one car that's got to be tough on the whole family to plan for everyone's activities.

My son did this once in 7th grade but it was only 3 1/2 miles. He didn't wait at the designated meeting place for me. There was a dear friend's house ON the way home, about halfway in fact, where he could have stopped to call me and played games until his dad got off work with the car, but oh no he walked slowly home, brewing over it, and it got dark on him. And he missed the bus because *HE* doddled around and missed the late bus home. (Then I was worried at dark with no phone call and no son arriving home.) These mix ups happen sometimes.

I ask my kids in the a.m. "what are your after-school plans today?" Leaving it open-ended puts the ball in his court.

Then like the other poster's suggested problem solving with him other solutions in case he finds himself stuck somewhere without a ride ever again.


----------



## mtiger (Sep 10, 2006)

At 15? He is well old enough to figure out a ride home for himself. Both of mine (15 & 17) know what my hours are at work (I also work 2-10 at least once a week), and they know when I'm available to get them to and fro. It's their responsibility to sort something out when I'm not available.


----------



## lab (Jun 11, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Marsupialmom* 
Yesterday, I reminded my 15-year-old son his dad was not going to be home until late. I then asked him if he had swim practice. I reminded him I needed to know so I could arrange a ride.

He said no swim practice.

But He did have a swim meeting -- he didn't tell me that.

Since I did not know, he had a meeting and could not ride the bus home. I did not find him a ride. I work from 1-10 pm and we have only one car. Therefore, there is no way I could have just left and got him. I was working and could not find him a ride. Even at that, our back up rides need more than 5 minutes notice in non-emergencies.

He is 15, not 5. He ended up walking 5 miles home.

He is still grumbling. I do not feel sorry. If he would have told me in the morning he would needed a ride I could have arranged one.

His argument is I asked if he had a swim practice. He did not have a practice, he had a meeting and those are two different things.

My opinion if he wants to ignore part of the conversation and not put two and two together he is going to miss many things. This time he missed a ride and had to walk. Next time?? Who knows but he really needs to pay attention. I could see it if I had not told him that he dad was not going to be able to pick him up. I could see it if I had not mention I would need to arrange for a ride.

********

Actually, this paying attention thing is on my last nerve. Our friends move the Halloween party from one home to the next. This year was our turn. This was decided last Halloween (we are new to the group). We had talked about, planned, ET for a year. Three days before he had no clue, it was as if we mentioned the party for the first time. We know we have discussed it with him and around him. He just did not pay attention.

omg! My son and I had the most fun discussing this!

Thanks for your post!

My son is 15 and runs cross country. He stays after school every day and constantly needs a ride home. So, from his perspective - you do not need to apologize. He did get your son's point that, No. He did not actually have practice. But he realized that not having practice didn't mean your ds didn't still need a ride.

Also, was I the only one checking the ages of the kids of those posters who suggested laughing in the 15 year olds face? GAH!


----------

