# Supernanny's latest topic--Nurisng!



## MamaEli (Mar 6, 2007)

Just saw the previews on TV tonight....Seems the big "issue" is a 14 mo who is "still nursing!" and mama doesn't want to quit. Hmmmm.......Comments?
Maybe I should APO on the nursing past infancy board.
Think it's interesting that for all the wild and crazy antics they have on there, that this would by the basis for a whole episode? Just when I think nursing is more in style and more accepted....(unless you're on an airplane, of course.)


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## Doula Gina (Jun 29, 2005)

(DH doesn't consent to me watching any shows with birth or parenting issues in them because I get so loud during that kind of junk...)


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## njbeachgirl (Oct 8, 2006)

Oh wow, 14 months. That is a major disciplinary problem.














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## bodhicitta3 (Jun 19, 2006)

i tried to find the episode sumary and couldnt. if that is the basis of the whole episode then that is pretty crappy


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## SabbathD (Apr 4, 2006)

The March 12th episode is about getting the two girls out of the bed (co-sleeping) and on her website she advocates a cio method in her parenting advice.

http://www.supernanny.us.com/Advice/...ed-Crying.aspx

don't like her.


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## Mommiska (Jan 3, 2002)

Oh, gosh - what a shame. I actually think that supernanny can be good for some of the families she works with - and she has a good emphasis on being positive with kids and spending time with them.

But it sounds like they need a few letters about the nursing/CIO stuff...


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## SabbathD (Apr 4, 2006)

I DO think that she has had some great impact on disciplinary problems, sone unique solutions ect ect. It just seems to be INFANT care that she is sorta lacking on the good info about. But, she has helped with some other tremendous turn arounds on OLDER kids.


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## Zadee (Oct 20, 2006)

Quote:

It makes me sad that people actually watch this crap and go with what she says....ugh...
Though I TOTALLY agree with you on the CIO issues, I've always gotten the impression that the people who need her are people who are screaming at and hitting their kids because they just don't know what else to do. I think it is good that she gets out there the idea that you can handle discipline issues with ways other than spanking. But, like I said, I haven't seen her show very often. Maybe twice.


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## pookel (May 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jarynsmom06* 
Did you read the part about keeping the room dark and not making eye contact with your baby????







:

That part actually makes sense to me. I have to do that with my toddler (not leaving him ... just being nearby and pretending to be asleep) because if I interact with him, he decides it's playtime and won't settle down to sleep.


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## Zadee (Oct 20, 2006)

The few times I've seen her I've liked the way she suggests positive ways of handling kids who seem really out of control and desperate for some kind of structure. However, I don't see why co-sleeping and extended nursing qualify as "problems" unless they are making someone involved very unhappy or resentful.


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## jarynsmom06 (May 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SabbathD* 
The March 12th episode is about getting the two girls out of the bed (co-sleeping) and on her website she advocates a cio method in her parenting advice.

http://www.supernanny.us.com/Advice/...ed-Crying.aspx

don't like her.

OMG...what a UA violation this woman is....Did you read the part about keeping the room dark and not making eye contact with your baby????







: It makes me sad that people actually watch this crap and go with what she says....ugh...


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## 2much2luv (Jan 12, 2003)

I like Supernanny for the most part. I agree with whoever said that maybe her infant/toddler knowledge is lacking, but she can do some great things for families with older kids.


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## lilysmama1124 (Aug 26, 2006)

Wow that "controlled crying" stuff is crap! I really like her but that it is crazy. What is wrong with reacting to your babies cries for comfort everytime ASAP? I don't understand why so many parents see eating and changing as needs but not comforting, security and closeness.


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## mamaofthree (Jun 5, 2002)

Because if you comfort a child then you get needy whiney brats who control you... duh! I mean goodness if you went around loving on your babies you might end up with a happy baby, you wouldn't want that.














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H


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## Bisou (Dec 11, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bodhicitta3* 
i tried to find the episode sumary and couldnt. if that is the basis of the whole episode then that is pretty crappy

I saw that preview too, and I was going to post about it. In the part I saw, she was basically berating this mother for having the baby hang off of her breast like a "monkey" or "animal" or something like that, and said "You need to stop!" I was pretty shocked.

I do think that some people use BFing as a solution for everything (their child is whining, preventing them from talking on the phone, too wild, too whatever), and I don't necessarily think that's good because children do need to learn other ways to deal with things, but I totally agree with extended BFing. And definitely, 14 months is NOT NOT NOT too old to BF!

I hope people write letters.

I do like SOME of the ways she handles discipline with out-of-control kids because she seems compassionate and like she works on communicating with them, but I don't agree with the CIO approach. I've never seen her work with really small kids though. Most are at least 3 or older.


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## turtlewomyn (Jun 5, 2005)

I missed the preview, DH saw it and said that it was something about a woman nursing a 14 month old and how the nanny was complaining about her having the baby hang off of her and that she needed to give the kid a bottle. I plan to watch and write nasty letters to them if needed. Did I read somewhere that she has no training in anything related to children, she has just been a babysitter/nanny for many years?


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## EdnaMarie (Sep 9, 2006)

I like that show when I watch it... I've only seen four episodes, but maybe it's worth watching to see the context in which it's happening so that the letters can be more informed. I mean obviously the family has issues if they are calling Supernanny- she didn't just barge into a random family and start telling them what to do.

It's possible that the parents don't WANT to co-sleep (we don't co-sleep, for example, and if I had one kid who demanded it I think I'd have to look into ways to mitigate that) and don't know how to wean gently. It's possible that the mother doesn't want to breastfeed anymore, or is confused- I mean she's a nanny, not a lactation consultant.

(Idea for a new show: SuperLactationConsultant,







)

Or, maybe not, maybe she's just being horrible, I don't know. But let's watch the show before going too far into this.


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## basmom (Jun 4, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SabbathD* 
I DO think that she has had some great impact on disciplinary problems, sone unique solutions ect ect. It just seems to be INFANT care that she is sorta lacking on the good info about. But, she has helped with some other tremendous turn arounds on OLDER kids.

I agree. Some of her advice and solutions for older kiddos seems pretty good to me, but the infant/young toddler stuff is NOT for me!


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## saraann (Dec 1, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Zadee* 
Though I TOTALLY agree with you on the CIO issues, I've always gotten the impression that the people who need her are people who are screaming at and hitting their kids because they just don't know what else to do. I think it is good that she gets out there the idea that you can handle discipline issues with ways other than spanking. But, like I said, I haven't seen her show very often. Maybe twice.

I agree. Prior to becoming a mom, I was a sw and worked with families. While some of the moms were great with their kids, some had no idea and were overwhelmed and stressed and hadn't had any positive parenting modeled to them ever (came from abusive homes themselves). If they weren't interested in parenting classes, or support groups, sometimes I'd ask them if they watched this show. I think for some moms it has some good ideas on how to calm things down at home without yelling, hitting, or neglect.

I do think supernanny is way off with the nursing thing and the CIO stuff, sad that it has to be promoted on TV.


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## MomToKandE (Mar 11, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *izobelle* 
I mean obviously the family has issues if they are calling Supernanny- she didn't just barge into a random family and start telling them what to do.

It's possible that the parents don't WANT to co-sleep (we don't co-sleep, for example, and if I had one kid who demanded it I think I'd have to look into ways to mitigate that) and don't know how to wean gently. It's possible that the mother doesn't want to breastfeed anymore, or is confused- I mean she's a nanny, not a lactation consultant.

This is exactly what I was thinking. They don't just pick people off the street. I assume that this family would have had to contact the show and tell them what their "problems" were.

I'm nursing a three year old so obviously I don't think 14 months is too old but if the mom doesn't want to nurse, hates nursing, and just wants to stop then she has an issue. Not sure why she'd want to address that issue on national TV but that's a whole other topic.


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## Molliejo (Jan 7, 2006)

I wonder if formula will be advertised during commercials???


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## mamaofthree (Jun 5, 2002)

Even if the mom is tired of nursing, I sure as heck wouldn't take weaning advice from someone who has never even had a child let alone breastfed one. The "super" nanny should have the mom contact the LLL or a LC to do some gentle weaning, I mean going cold turkey can be very painful for the mom too.
And as an aside, I don't see a problem if mom is happy and baby is happy with nursing while you talk on the phone if it keeps the kid quite for 10 minutes. Sure as heck is better then going nuts trying to hear someone on the other end.


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## Shirelle (May 22, 2006)

I just saw the promo for this. The last clip shows the sweet baby's drooly face and the voice-over says, "Somebody give this baby a bottle."







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Lord, Super Nanny would go nuts if she saw me nursing my <gasp> TWENTY month old! I used to like her, but now I'm wondering why the heck they think she's the parenting expert.....or the breastfeeding expert? Does she even HAVE kids? Has she ever nursed a baby? Shouldn't someone who is a parenting expert know what the AAP/WHO recommends as far as bfing?


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## jarynsmom06 (May 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pookel* 
That part actually makes sense to me. I have to do that with my toddler (not leaving him ... just being nearby and pretending to be asleep) because if I interact with him, he decides it's playtime and won't settle down to sleep.

I understand with a Toddler for that very reason, but a newborn. That's the impression I got as to who she was talking about


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## letniaLynne (Jun 2, 2006)

I am going to be disgusted if she cons the mom in to prematurely weaning her babe


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## TeaghansMama (Jul 1, 2005)

ugh... i can't even watch it
just the thought gets me upset....







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## Heaz (Jul 14, 2005)

I've been fired up over the promos for days, and I'm still trying to decide whether to watch the episode or not. I'm curious how her advice (and the mother's opinions of the situation going in) will compare to what's being presented in the edit they did for the promo. I saw one spot earlier in the week where they showed the typical kids-running-around, a brief complaint about cosleeping, and Jo's "she's FOURTEEN MONTHS OLD!" shocked comment, but it wasn't quite clear what was going on. But last night I saw a promo which was ALLLLLLLL about the nursing. The voiceover said things like "we saved the BREAST for last!" (yuk yuk)

I can only assume that ABC either:

1. Is run by a bunch of formula companies and wants to remind America that breastfeeding is unnatural and for perverts (rolleyes), or

2. They're TRYING to piss people off by introducing something as more controversial than it need be, just to lure people into watching.

At any rate, I'm still pissed that there's any negative press for BF, especially any that focuses on the child's age. But then again, I nursed ODS for 35 months so I guess I'm just one of those thin-skinned pervs, eh?









oh wow, I haven't visited in a while, disregard my terribly outdated siggy while I go fix it! (whoops!)


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## Heffernhyphen (May 3, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Doula Gina* 
DH doesn't consent to me watching any shows with birth or parenting issues in them because I get so loud during that kind of junk...


Mine doesn't want them on in the house either. He's afraid DS will get ideas from the kids who are . . . shall we say . . . expressing themselves.


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## Attached2Elijah (Jun 27, 2004)

I've found that every time I think I'm going to get fired up about an issue with supernanny, I end up watching it and it's not at all what I thought it was going to be and end up agreeing with it. I hope this is another situation like that.


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## SleepyMamaBear (Jun 5, 2005)

when is it going to be on?
i am also "not allowed" to watch those shows in the house. it drives DH crazy to hear me yelling at the tv to some crazy british woman who is just doing things ALL wrong with the bebes.

but i MUST watch this one so i know if i need to write a letter or not.


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## pookel (May 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jarynsmom06* 
I understand with a Toddler for that very reason, but a newborn. That's the impression I got as to who she was talking about

My son has actually been like that since he was old enough to make eye contact ... six weeks or so? I would never deny him comfort, but you can give comfort without eye contact. (I used to rock him and nurse him in a dark room with my eyes closed, for the same reason ...)


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## trini (Sep 20, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Heffernhyphen* 
Mine doesn't want them on in the house either. He's afraid DS will get ideas from the kids who are . . . shall we say . . . expressing themselves.

That's the issue here, too. He doesn't want ds getting any ideas.

Frankly I think ds comes up with plenty of ideas on his own.


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## lisap (Dec 18, 2004)

what a load of crap! and i know people who think she gives great advice!


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## Maela (Apr 2, 2006)

I just saw this promo today. I knew there would be a thread here about it.

Hearing that stupid voice over saying they "saved the breast for last" and "someone get this baby a bottle" made me sooo







!

14 months??!!! WTH?!

I am definitely going to watch this episode, and probably will end up writing a letter too.


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## Attached2Elijah (Jun 27, 2004)

I just saw it tonight... and what I don't understand is why they say "Get this baby a bottle".... why is the bottle okay and the breast not??? WTF?? That makes no sense what so ever! And what the hell is wrong with the BABY hanging off of her like a koala? For the love of God, 14 months is still a BABY! WTF should he/she NOT be hanging off of momma? UGH!!!! Once they start walking they're supposed to be 100% independent? Piss on that!

Every time I've watched this show before I liked it but I think she is about to step into some very nasty territory!

Sorry, I'm heated... lol. I'm so thankful my breastfeeding relationship worked out this time... I DARE someone to tell me at 14 months my daughter needs a bottle!


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## pookel (May 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Heaz* 
2. They're TRYING to piss people off by introducing something as more controversial than it need be, just to lure people into watching.

I'm going to bet it's this one. I don't have TV, so could someone post a summary of the show when it airs? I'm really curious now.


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## lah7 (Dec 31, 2006)

How/when did THAT happen? I saw the promo last night (for the 2nd time) and now, on the ABC website, it's showing an entirely different episode for tomorrow night! I can't find a trace of the old promo!

I'm wondering just how badly they were lambasted for the spin they put on that preview. Even if it *wasn't* as anti-breastfeeding as it seemed, the promo was definitely designed to rile us up. Perhaps it backfired?


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## surfinrn&mom2mason (Jan 27, 2007)

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## EdnaMarie (Sep 9, 2006)

"2. They're TRYING to piss people off by introducing something as more controversial than it need be, just to lure people into watching."

Unfortunately, I think that's it, but not the way we'd like it to be- I'll bet you that they think that most people find 14 month olds breastfeeding so controversial that they're playing it up.

But please, someone watch it and give those of us without network television the lowdown... pleaaase... so we can write informed, intelligent letters.


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## nittanyalum (Sep 24, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MomToKandE* 
This is exactly what I was thinking. They don't just pick people off the street. I assume that this family would have had to contact the show and tell them what their "problems" were.

They don't exactly pick people off the street, but they do try and rustle up business. I have heard of them contacting LLL groups in search of families, and also have heard of at least one person who says producers contacted her repeatedly to try and get her on the show.

No matter what their motive, they are getting a TON of free publicity out of it by running that promo, on both 'sides' of the issue.

-A


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## Genesis (Jan 8, 2007)

Yes, that preview bothered me as well. I hope she doesn't convince the mom to stop nursing!


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## zebaby (Nov 4, 2006)

No, the episode hasn't aired. It might just be an inflated promo to get people to watch, however...

ABC HAS PLANTED THE SEED! IT IS TELLING THE PUBLIC THAT NURSING IS INAPPROPRIATE AND ANIMALISTIC!!







WHETHER OR NOT THEY WATCH THE EPISODE, THE PROMO SENDS THE MESSAGE!

I'm disgusted. I have posted in the Supernanny forum. Maybe they will actually read some of the posts. I will watch the show in hopes that she is not as insensitive as she's made out to be but I'm a little nervous that it's not the case.


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## wombatclay (Sep 4, 2005)

I read an interview with the mama of the family on this show (it's the season finale or something like that)...

She runs an in home day care, has the nursing 14 mo, a 6 yo who crawls into bed with them, a young teen son and a teen nephew who lives with them. They actively wanted to participate in the show and (at least according to her interview) she really appreciated the advice that they got although they have "backed off" from some specific things.

So while I HATE HATE HATE the promo and have written to ABC in protest to this sort of anti-breastfeeding mumbo jumbo (even if it is "just" the promo), it seems that at least the episode isn't focused entirely on a nursing toddler being "a problem" and the family in question did ask for Supernanny intervention in their daily routines.

Trying to find a bright sode...maybe this will generate a more public debate and lead to a real look at breastfeeding in the US and the need to support it!


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## Shirelle (May 22, 2006)

It's airing here right now.....and it's just as bad as we thought it would be. Horrible







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## Zadee (Oct 20, 2006)

Quote:

Trying to find a bright sode...maybe this will generate a more public debate and lead to a real look at breastfeeding in the US and the need to support it!
Or, it will lead more people to think it's "gross" to nurse a 14-month old.







:


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## 2much2luv (Jan 12, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shirelle* 
It's airing here right now.....and it's just as bad as we thought it would be. Horrible







:

I watched it and thought it was fine. What was horrible about it for you?


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## EdnaMarie (Sep 9, 2006)

Sooo.... anyone gonna give us the play-by-play?







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## Mia's Momma (Mar 2, 2007)

saw it... hated it... went straight to bed w/ DD and nursed to her heart's content!


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## 2much2luv (Jan 12, 2003)

oh oh! I will.







I posted this last night on another board during the commercials. I'll just copy and paste.

~14 month old babe is attached to mom almost constantly. Mom feels tied down by it but is having a hard time letting go of her baby. Jo says baby needs to learn that she can be okay while mom is 10 feet away. She said "She doesn't need to be attached to your breast 24-7" and "If you want to continue to nurse that is your perogative, but by setting limits on it" she can learn to be okay on her own too.

The sleep situation is a mess so I don't blame Jo for advising to stop cosleeping. I take slight issue with her statement that "She is 14 months old. She needs to be in her own bed" but she did follow that up by saying "She has dark circles under her eyes. A 14 month old needs 12 hours of sleep blah blah blah" It is true that the sleep situation is complete mess there and while we all know cosleeping can work it does not seem to be working for this family.

Mom and dad are spankers and she is, of course, all over that.~

~Mom says "I want to wean her. I've been wanting to do it for months but I don't know how".

Jo tells her it is her choice. No mention of cutting back or anything, which bums me out. They're weaning her to a bottle. Okay, watching a weaning on tv is pretty disturbing, but baby only cried for 10 minutes.~

~They've gotten the six year old out of the bed~

~Baby is weaned. Mom is very happy with it. Baby seems to be thriving and doing well with it. Mom says they are sleeping better and baby is able to do more.~

~They let baby cry it out for 5 minutes in a crib in mom and dad's room. Five minutes was the limit Jo set and baby was asleep in that time. ~

I remember now one comment by Jo that bothered me. She said that mom was nursing the baby for herself and using the baby as _her_ pacifier. It was a brief comment and the mother didn't reply, but it made me cringe a bit.

There ya go. Oh, and the family stopped spanking, of course.


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## twilight girl (Mar 7, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *izobelle* 
Sooo.... anyone gonna give us the play-by-play?







:

Basic assault on attached parenting. Supernanny had to "fix" the mother-baby relationship, because the 14 month old was either on mom or nursing. She suggested that her reasons for extended bf'ing were emotional and both mama and baby would be better adjusted if baby was weaned. Weaned cold turkey to a bottle (although at least a sippy cup did show up toward the end).

Anyhoo, my dd self-weaned at one month before her 3rd birthday. I found the show a little disturbing because Supernanny basically ignored the benefits of extended bf'ing and only offered one solution (maybe that's all there was time for in a 1 hour tv show).

That said, and to try to be fair, she did not tell the mother she had to wean. She told her she had to decide what she wanted to do, and that if she wanted to continue nursing it was her prerogative as a mother.

The complaint I have is that she insinuated that extended bf'ing was somehow holding both mother and baby back from realizing their full potential.


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## 2much2luv (Jan 12, 2003)

Didn't bother me, but I don't do child led weaning and feel okay with mothers weaning when baby can handle it and momma is ready for it. The bottle part wierded me out but baby didn't take it and they showed her with a sippy cup later on in the show. I just really wish they would have focused on cutting back the nursing as opposed to weaning completely, but for a mainstream show I think they handled nursing with respect.


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## 2much2luv (Jan 12, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *twilight girl* 
The complaint I have is that she insinuated that extended bf'ing was somehow holding both mother and baby back from realizing their full potential.

And I think it can do that sometimes.

Quote:

Supernanny had to "fix" the mother-baby relationship, because the 14 month old was either on mom or nursing.
I do want to point out that this family asked for Supernanny's help, they asked her to "fix" their relationship. It seemed to me that the frequency of nursing this baby was doing was not working for that momma, or that baby. Like I already said I do really wish they would have chosen to cut back on nursing instead of acting as if weaning completely was the only option, but I wasn't expecting much from a mainstream show.


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## 2much2luv (Jan 12, 2003)

I don't mean to come off sounding so defensive of Supernanny. I'm not that big of a fan.







I just didn't see the show as an assault on anything. I saw it like I see all of the shows . . . a family with issues that needs help. I don't know quite how the show works but if the breastfeeding wasn't an issue for them I don't think they would have addressed it.







Overall I think they handled breastfeeding fairly well and respectably for a mainstream show.


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## curlyfry (Feb 16, 2005)

I had a much bigger problem with the CIO than the weaning! At least mom wanted to wean and wasn't forced into it. I do NOT like how cold turkey she did it though!







It was sad to see the baby crying for the breast and getting a bottle shoved in her face!









As far as the CIO, just cause she's 14 mos doesn't mean she can be automatically transitioned to her own bed in ONE NIGHT!! Gimme a break! I'm sure they had plenty of challenging nights after she left, and I wouldn't be surprised if the baby is back in bed with mom and dad now.


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## 2much2luv (Jan 12, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *curlyfry* 
I wouldn't be surprised if the baby is back in bed with mom and dad now.


That's exactly what I think happened. They didn't say anything about baby sleeping alone in the update at the end.


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## EdnaMarie (Sep 9, 2006)

Thanks 2much2luv and twilight girl. SOunds like what I expected- sensible in most parts, open, but not trying to push attached parenting either.

Too bad about the cold-turkey weaning from the breast and bed, though. That doesn't seem to be the way to go with anything... I support the mom if she wants to stop and we don't co-sleep for the very reasons it seems they were recommended to stop (just does not work for us) but I don't think it's ever a good idea to suddenly shock a baby into something.


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## 2bluefish (Apr 27, 2006)

I watch the show all the time and generally like it. I thought this episode was horrible - there were little things - undertones that were not normal for the show or Jo and I found it disturbing. I didn't get the impression the mom wanted to wean at all. I got them impression she was coerced.

The CIO didn't bother me. My kids tend to be criers so leaving a kid for 5 min to see if they will settle on their own is no biggie in our house. I thought there was a general lack of discipline in the family's sleep situation, but I don't think it is a problem, unless the parents do. That part seemed to resolve pretty well.

But I was disturbed by the older son, and I didn't see any resolution to his issues which are probably the biggest problem.

I didn't like the all or nothing attitude with the baby. 14 months is still a baby.


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## Momtwice (Nov 21, 2001)

About the claim that breastfeeding "holds a child back," I'm sad to see that stereotype being agreed with on MDC,

but happy that research says sustained breastfeeding results in children with

higher IQ's,
ideal nutrition,
better physical health,
better mental health,
less likelihood of "conduct disorders" or other behavioral problems,
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html

Or more simply put, it's just normal.


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## 2much2luv (Jan 12, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Momtwice* 
About the claim that breastfeeding "holds a child back," I'm sad to see that stereotype being agreed with on MDC,

Hope you're not referring to me because I didn't say that.







Neither did anyone on Supernanny actually.


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## femuhnistmama (Sep 20, 2004)

she basically told a woman that is was emotionally unhealthy for her to still be breast feeding her 14 month old. the woman ended up weaning the child in less than a week to make the child more "independent" . the family also were cosleeping and she told them to stop! whats worse is the woman spanked, cursed at, and was basically emotionally abusive to her kids and less time was spent working on that issue than breastfeeding and cosleeping. it was so disturbing! what bothered me the most was that new parents out there who dont have support for their ap lifestyle may have watched this show and thought hey i am actually doing something that is emotionally stunting my children!


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## Maela (Apr 2, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2much2luv* 
Didn't bother me, but I don't do child led weaning and feel okay with mothers weaning when baby can handle it and momma is ready for it. The bottle part wierded me out but baby didn't take it and they showed her with a sippy cup later on in the show. I just really wish they would have focused on cutting back the nursing as opposed to weaning completely, but for a mainstream show I think they handled nursing with respect.

I agree. The show turned out to be so much better than the promo. I did not like seeing the baby weaned straight to a bottle though - it just doesn't make sense. How is that any better?! Couldn't they have just _slowly_ cut down on nursing time? I guess that wouldn't have fit into a one hour show.







Poor baby.

But I do have to say, I wasn't as mad as I thought I would be by the end of the show. Jo seemed to be trying to be accepting and considerate, even if you could tell that she didn't think nursing at that age was good.

I think ABC still deserves a letter though.







:


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## wordmommy (Feb 19, 2007)

I said this on another thread somewhere, but I think that these parents were not living an AP lifestyle by choice. The focus for them was on what was convenient or caused less of a fuss--the children's needs weren't really discussed by anybody. In this case, cosleeping was four people in a bed not getting any sleep. BFing seemed more like a way to get some rest from the other kids.

I thought NJ could have offered some sling advice or something, but she's not pro-AP, so I don't know why I thought she would. And I felt like she tried to be positive about BFing and give mom a chance to say she wanted to continue.

My biggest problem is the gut-feeling that ABC knew that the growing AP movement would latch onto (ha) the sensational preview and watch the show, thereby inflating its numbers for the ratings. Nasty, ABC. Very nasty. I'll be writing a letter about manipulating what for many is a sacred or at least very very important decision just to snag viewers.


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## elanorh (Feb 1, 2006)

_Originally Posted by twilight girl:

The complaint I have is that she insinuated that extended bf'ing was somehow holding both mother and baby back from realizing their full potential._

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2much2luv* 
And I think it can do that sometimes.

Can you give examples of how breastfeeding beyond a year causes a child to not reach his/her potential, or a mother to not reach hers? Because I really can't think of any research I've seen that would agree with this statement. Really, I can't. And moreover, I CAN think of research which I've read which directly contradicts this statement - research which shows that children who are breastfed beyond a year are rated as better adjusted, ahead of their peers, more confident and more sociable etc.

I don't want this to turn into a debate, this is a support board - but honestly I too find it disturbing to see someone here at MDC assuming that bf beyond a year can cause children and mothers not to reach their potential.







: I see a lot of examples, IRL and on mainstream boards, where I think I can very easily argue that it's obvious that choosing NOT to bf beyond a year may be preventing a mother and her dc from reaching his/her potential.









ETA:
I'm also disturbed by the fact that the nanny had the mother give a bottle while baby is laying down to go to sleep. I know a lot of people do it still, but it's directly against the advice of the AAP, ADA etc. for infants to be given bottles while prone, and both organizations recommend weaning at/around 12 months from the bottle anyway due to dental caries risks. So why introduce a bottle to the baby at that point? If she's such an expert, why didn't she introduce a paci after a sippy cup of warm milk, instead (and brush babe's teeth too I suppose)?


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## socalfelicity2 (Jan 18, 2007)

The show made me really uncomfortable and sad for the baby. It was really heartbreaking to see the baby laying down with the mama and crying out for the breast only to have a bottle stuffed in her mouth. Ugh. It seemed TOO personal to show on television.

I wish Jo (the super nanny) had supported her more- a lot of moms give up because they think it's "too hard"- but Jo could have shown her other options- like carrying the baby around in a sling, bf'ing from a sling, rocking her to sleep nursing and then laying her down. And the weaning was so abrupt. It made me sick to my stomach.

I know Jo is operating from ignorance- no malice- it still made me really sad b/c so many women see her as an authority on parenting...it was a big step backwards for AP parenting, I think!


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## Zadee (Oct 20, 2006)

Quote:

Can you give examples of how breastfeeding beyond a year causes a child to not reach his/her potential, or a mother to not reach hers?
I think if the mother resents BF and wants to stop, extended BF could keep her from being emotionally happy and fulfilled, and a baby would surely pick up on that. Just a thought.


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## Maela (Apr 2, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *socalfelicity2* 
The show made me really uncomfortable and sad for the baby. It was really heartbreaking to see the baby laying down with the mama and crying out for the breast only to have a bottle stuffed in her mouth. Ugh. It seemed TOO personal to show on television.

I wish Jo (the super nanny) had supported her more- a lot of moms give up because they think it's "too hard"- but Jo could have shown her other options- like carrying the baby around in a sling, bf'ing from a sling, rocking her to sleep nursing and then laying her down. And the weaning was so abrupt. It made me sick to my stomach.

I know Jo is operating from ignorance- no malice- it still made me really sad b/c so many women see her as an authority on parenting...it was a big step backwards for AP parenting, I think!









: Well said. I felt sick to my stomach about that part too. And I do think Jo was trying to help, even if it was the wrong way to do it.


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## 2much2luv (Jan 12, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *elanorh* 
Can you give examples of how breastfeeding beyond a year causes a child to not reach his/her potential, or a mother to not reach hers?

If the mother child pair get into the habit of using nursing as "cure all" it can hold the child back from finding other ways to cope and from being an active social toddler. If the mother is resentful of the nursing it can be a major stumbling block for the both. If nursing is disrupting sleep at night that can also cause problems.

*All these practices (using nursing as a cure all and nursing at night) can be just FINE.* I am in no way meaning to imply that nursing past a year is unhealthy, that nursing frequently past a year is unhealthy, that nursing at night past a year is unhealthy. *I am just saying that if someone in the nursing relationship is not thriving on the breastfeeding and actually having a problem with the breastfeeding (or frequency of breastfeeding or how breastfeeding occurs) then something should be changed.* I myself have been in periods of time where my toddler was nursing more than I thought was healthy for either me or her, so I would cut back on it. That's what I saw happening on this show; the mother feeling resentful of baby's frequent nursing. I sure wish Supernanny would have called in the LLL or somebody that knew something about breastfeeding, because abrupt weaning wasn't the best way to solve the problem, but I also didn't expect much from a mainstream show.


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## a_opplander (Jan 24, 2007)

I breastfeed my children until they are toddlers, and I was disappointed in the show last night. Jo said that the breastfeeding relationship was "holding the baby back", and she praised the mother for weaning the child and "allowing her to develop". Also, she said to the mother, "You're using the baby as YOUR pacifier." I think there are plenty of people who, after watching the show, took away the message that extended breastfeeding is NOT the best thing for a baby, that extended breastfeeding only benefits the mother (in some weird, twisted way) and that extended breastfeeding can lead to developmental delays.

As I was watching the show, I could almost hear my mother-in-law cheering at her television set 1,000 miles away. I am certain that some of the "facts" from last night's Supernanny will be thrown in my face in the future. Thank you so much, ABC!!!


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## mommytomahmoud (Jan 8, 2007)

i agree supper nanny just let all mothers know that breastfeeding a toddler is holding the baby back and that a mother wants to extend breastfeeding longer than 1yr is only doing it for her not the baby

it was sad too see the baby cio and hold a teddy bear cause the momma wouldnt put her in her bed and baby crying to nurse and momma trying to give a bottle broke my heart

ayah


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## FreeThinkinMama (Aug 3, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Zadee* 
I think if the mother resents BF and wants to stop, extended BF could keep her from being emotionally happy and fulfilled, and a baby would surely pick up on that. Just a thought.

I agree. If mom and baby want to continue past 1-2 yrs good for them, if however mom feels tied down and exhausted by it like this mom seemed to, maybe weaning is the right choice for their family. The mom seemed relieved/proud/thrilled that her toddler was taking a sippy cup by the end of the show. so while I dont agree with Jo frosts bf'ing and co sleeping opinions, I dont think she forced this family to do anything they didnt already want to do.they just didnt know how to go about making those transitions.


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## MaWhit (Jan 5, 2002)

This family asked for help because things weren't workgin for them. If the parents wanted/needed a change but didn't know how to go about it, and weren't bullied into changes that really didn't suit their family, then it's all good, IMO.


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## Acugirl (Jan 1, 2003)

What I want to know, is what kind of baby only cries for 10 minutes when everything she has ever known about sleep and comfort is changed??
I have to say, if I knew that would work for my kids with only 10 min of fussy crying I would do it.
I am totally for extended bf and co sleeping but I think in my house I do it more because my kids would NEVER go for CIO and would scream forever. They are much more high needs than that baby seemed to be.
I think that show made it look so easy and even my dh was like, yeah, lets do it. He knows how much my kids scream too.
I think the problem with that show is how easy it makes everything look. I don't know whos reality that is!


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## elanorh (Feb 1, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2much2luv* 
If the mother child pair get into the habit of using nursing as "cure all" it can hold the child back from finding other ways to cope and from being an active social toddler. If the mother is resentful of the nursing it can be a major stumbling block for the both. If nursing is disrupting sleep at night that can also cause problems.

*All these practices (using nursing as a cure all and nursing at night) can be just FINE.* I am in no way meaning to imply that nursing past a year is unhealthy, that nursing frequently past a year is unhealthy, that nursing at night past a year is unhealthy. *I am just saying that if someone in the nursing relationship is not thriving on the breastfeeding and actually having a problem with the breastfeeding (or frequency of breastfeeding or how breastfeeding occurs) then something should be changed.* I myself have been in periods of time where my toddler was nursing more than I thought was healthy for either me or her, so I would cut back on it. <snip>

Thanks for clarifying!

It may be semantics, but I'd say then that it's not so much "extended breastfeeding" which you would say is holding the nursing pair (potentially) "back," but the *way* that the extended breastfeeding is happening. Which is obviously something which can be addressed and changed.

One of the things I try to really emphasize when family/friends are having their first baby, is that *babies need to be fed really often and it will seem like all you do is breastfeed when they are 1-2 months old, and that is NORMAL.* Because I really think that sometimes our perceptions of what babies 'should' be able to do are just inaccurate and wrong. And if a mom knows that what is going on with her babe is normal, it's much easier to relax and figure out how to get through that developmental stage or etc., and mom doesn't feel like she "must" wean or supplement or whatever in order to 'normalize' the situation with her child, KWIM?

So I think, similar information can help mothers who are breastfeeding older infants - the realization that their baby may want to do acrobatics while nursing, or whatever it is that is bugging mom, and the reminder that the relationship goes both ways and if Mom doesn't like baby doing A, then find a way to stop baby from doing A







. And that's the big thing that really frustrated me about this episode (beyond the inaccuracies about bf beyond a year and the assumption that it needed to be 'fixed.') -- why not find a way to change the bf relationship in a more respectful, less traumatic way, and recognize that bf is recommended for a minimum of 1-2 years, so ought to be supported, not condemned.


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## Patrice#1 (Mar 12, 2004)

I saw that episode and it seemed as though the mom did want to continue nursing her baby, but because of the pressure of the nanny, she was talked into weaning her...weaning her very quickly I may add. Not once did the nanny say how benificial it is for her baby, or congratulate her for doing it past a year. And if that wasn't enough, letting the baby cry for 5 minutes in her crib! It is just a shame


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## 2much2luv (Jan 12, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *elanorh* 
Thanks for clarifying!

It may be semantics, but I'd say then that it's not so much "extended breastfeeding" which you would say is holding the nursing pair (potentially) "back," but the *way* that the extended breastfeeding is happening. Which is obviously something which can be addressed and changed.

One of the things I try to really emphasize when family/friends are having their first baby, is that *babies need to be fed really often and it will seem like all you do is breastfeed when they are 1-2 months old, and that is NORMAL.* Because I really think that sometimes our perceptions of what babies 'should' be able to do are just inaccurate and wrong. And if a mom knows that what is going on with her babe is normal, it's much easier to relax and figure out how to get through that developmental stage or etc., and mom doesn't feel like she "must" wean or supplement or whatever in order to 'normalize' the situation with her child, KWIM?

So I think, similar information can help mothers who are breastfeeding older infants - the realization that their baby may want to do acrobatics while nursing, or whatever it is that is bugging mom, and the reminder that the relationship goes both ways and if Mom doesn't like baby doing A, then find a way to stop baby from doing A







. And that's the big thing that really frustrated me about this episode (beyond the inaccuracies about bf beyond a year and the assumption that it needed to be 'fixed.') -- why not find a way to change the bf relationship in a more respectful, less traumatic way, and recognize that bf is recommended for a minimum of 1-2 years, so ought to be supported, not condemned.

I totally agree.


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## Momma2SoSweet (Feb 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *a_opplander* 
I breastfeed my children until they are toddlers, and I was disappointed in the show last night. Jo said that the breastfeeding relationship was "holding the baby back", and she praised the mother for weaning the child and "allowing her to develop". Also, she said to the mother, "You're using the baby as YOUR pacifier." I think there are plenty of people who, after watching the show, took away the message that extended breastfeeding is NOT the best thing for a baby, that extended breastfeeding only benefits the mother (in some weird, twisted way) and that extended breastfeeding can lead to developmental delays.

As I was watching the show, I could almost hear my mother-in-law cheering at her television set 1,000 miles away. I am certain that some of the "facts" from last night's Supernanny will be thrown in my face in the future. Thank you so much, ABC!!!

I agree. All fine and good if the mother was really ready to be done, but the way that Jo made it seem that extended BFing was bad... She said she needed to stop so her dd could "reach milestones" and because it was "holding her back." Basically, she told the mother (and the millions of people watching) that if you BF past a year your child will be developmentally delayed. It made me very sad to watch.


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## captivatedlife (Aug 16, 2006)

I didn't see the show (don't watch tv







) but I get the gist from the pps. For me, I think that jo should have made a verbal recognition of the mom for completing the APA reccommendation of BF for 1 year. If the mom wanted to quit BF, and needed to do it quickly, it sounds like jo did it as humanely as possible.

I myself have fallen into the habit of nursing as a cure all... of course my dd is only 2 months and I am doing my research to be the best parent I can be....


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## Bisou (Dec 11, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2much2luv* 
oh oh! I will.







I posted this last night on another board during the commercials. I'll just copy and paste.

~14 month old babe is attached to mom almost constantly. Mom feels tied down by it but is having a hard time letting go of her baby. Jo says baby needs to learn that she can be okay while mom is 10 feet away. She said "She doesn't need to be attached to your breast 24-7" and "If you want to continue to nurse that is your perogative, but by setting limits on it" she can learn to be okay on her own too.

The sleep situation is a mess so I don't blame Jo for advising to stop cosleeping. I take slight issue with her statement that "She is 14 months old. She needs to be in her own bed" but she did follow that up by saying "She has dark circles under her eyes. A 14 month old needs 12 hours of sleep blah blah blah" It is true that the sleep situation is complete mess there and while we all know cosleeping can work it does not seem to be working for this family.

Mom and dad are spankers and she is, of course, all over that.~

~Mom says "I want to wean her. I've been wanting to do it for months but I don't know how".

Jo tells her it is her choice. No mention of cutting back or anything, which bums me out. They're weaning her to a bottle. Okay, watching a weaning on tv is pretty disturbing, but baby only cried for 10 minutes.~

~They've gotten the six year old out of the bed~

~Baby is weaned. Mom is very happy with it. Baby seems to be thriving and doing well with it. Mom says they are sleeping better and baby is able to do more.~

~They let baby cry it out for 5 minutes in a crib in mom and dad's room. Five minutes was the limit Jo set and baby was asleep in that time. ~

I remember now one comment by Jo that bothered me. She said that mom was nursing the baby for herself and using the baby as _her_ pacifier. It was a brief comment and the mother didn't reply, but it made me cringe a bit.

There ya go. Oh, and the family stopped spanking, of course.

Maybe other people commented on this, but an EBF, co-sleeping family who spanks????? I'd hardly call that attachment parenting.


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## EdnaMarie (Sep 9, 2006)

I was waiting for someone to post that. We aren't "AP" per se so I wasn't going to bring it up mysef but I was wondering... sounds like the family was less AP than just "give in to impulses". Sometimes impulses come from useful instincts (nursing, lots of touch, attachment) and other times, from detrimental hang-ups (spanking). Too bad this wasn't addressed, though.


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## Bisou (Dec 11, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2much2luv* 
I sure wish Supernanny would have called in the LLL or somebody that knew something about breastfeeding, because abrupt weaning wasn't the best way to solve the problem, but I also didn't expect much from a mainstream show.

Wouldn't THAT have been great: Supernanny calling in an expert on breastfeeding to work through this issue with the mama? What a concept that would've been, and how great to let a mainstream audience know about the kinds of resources available. Even if the mama decided to wean, the LLL person could've helped her do that with kindness.

And definitely, weaning to a bottle at that age is NOT recommended, even by mainstream doctors, books, etc. Everything I've read says a child should be off the bottle by 12 months due to the risk of tooth decay, as others have mentioned.

This is not sending the right message in many, many ways!







:


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## Bisou (Dec 11, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *captivatedlife* 
I myself have fallen into the habit of nursing as a cure all... of course my dd is only 2 months and I am doing my research to be the best parent I can be....

I don't think at 2 months you can really use nursing as a "cure all"---they pretty much nurse CONSTANTLY at that age! It's normal!







Definitely don't try to restrict her nursing frequency at this age.

Just my two cents.







:


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## Neth Naneth (Aug 11, 2006)

I looked into her book and it misleads as well. I wrote an article and it gives a resources where you can take action. I am hoping that it will reach some people that saw the episode.

I xposted this in other SN related threads.


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## kaspar (Nov 9, 2005)

i'm quitting mdc because mdc is unkind and discriminates against mamas with special needs babies.


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## roadfamily6now (Sep 14, 2006)

hmmmmm.....................


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