# food issues are starting to feel like discipline issues



## MommyDOK (Jan 9, 2003)

maybe someone can help me here. My seven year old does not like any fruits and vegetables. She will eat fresh strawberries once in a while. It is hardly affordable all year long. SHe used to drink a smoothie every day and I packed it full of fruits and veggies, so I don't think it's a flavor issue. Now she won't even drink that.

I don't know what to do. Everything I research pertains to picky toddlers, not 7 year olds. Everything I read says they'll outgrow it. She hasn't.

I've tried offering and letting her refuse. She always refuses. I used to say she could have dessert if she ate her fruits and veggies, but now she is saying she doesn't want dessert.
Honestly, she would go months without eating any fruit and veggies. I was a really picky kid and my parents used the old school technique of forcing me to eat or else I couldn't leave the table alternated w/ my dad holding my jaw open while he made me eat things. I've never done anything like that and don't want to (which is why this feels like a discipline issue).

The other food she eats is healthy--salmon, beans, brown rice, ww pasta, ww bread etc.
My other kids eat every fruit and veggie that I offer them.

Please give me some suggestions.


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## smellyann82 (Feb 6, 2006)

can you sleep finely chopped spinach into the beans? when i make a pot of black beans i add spinach so fine that you can't see it, and no one is wise to me. or desserts with hidden veggies and fruits? or pancakes with fruit and veggie puree added in? i personally would probably try my best to add things in here and there, always offer it, give her the choice of picking anything she wants from the farm market/produce section (if anything), give her the chance to help prepare it if she's interested, and drop it. i can't imagine that a strong willed 7 year old is going to eat it just because you want her to, and it sounds like the rest of her diet is good. i know many many kids through old jobs who eat zero fruits and veggies and nothing else nutritionally sound either.


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## hakeber (Aug 3, 2005)

In my experience kids will eat when they are hungry and as long as she is not replacing fruit and veggies with ice cream and chips she'll eat what se craves.

BUT beans are a great disguise for many veggie purees, and pasta sauce can carry huge amounts of veggies. You can also put fruit in muffins and over pancakes in a puree.

Would she eat eggplant Parmsean if you didn't tell her what it was? Or apple or fruit crisps made without sugar?

I also think just leaving it out for her to graze on as she wants and not pushing it at all is a good idea.


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## ssh (Aug 12, 2007)

I would try to add more fruits and veggies to sauces and baked goods. I'd also give her supplements. Have you looked up the nutritional values of what she eats during a week? It might not be as bad as you think. Here's an easy to use site http://nutritiondata.self.com/ . There could just be a few missing nutrients. She probably needs more vitamin C, A, and K, but you won't know unless you look at the values of what she's eating. I'd continue to offer and then let her eat what she wants. Peoples taste change so your DD may start to like things as she gets older.


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## Kreeblim (Dec 19, 2009)

Since she does eat so healthy anyway I'm not sure I would stress too much, but things that helped us were:

1) Adding more to what we eat...so last year I took like 8 giant zuccinis and shredded them with a cheese grater. Then I put the gratings into ziplock freezer quart size bags with 2 cups in each. I stacked them up flat to freeze and added them to EVERYTHING we cooked. Sauces, stirfry, muffins, chili, EVERYTHING. You couldn't taste it in anything either...I only knew because I'm the one that added it. Unsweetened applesauce can be added to things too delicate for zuchinni, like pancakes and oatmeal. I know it's popular to substitute applesauce for oil in brownie mix but we did that in addition to adding zuchinni and it still tasted great.

2) My 5 year old outright hated some veggies until he helped plant and grow them. This is the first year he's eaten eggplant, and I'm pretty sure it's because he watched them grow and watered them everyday. I know it doesn't work for every kid, but maybe try going to farms that let you pick your own and ask her to help pick some veggies and blueberries or something. We found that if we asked him to get some veggies he'll eat, he would shut down, but if we asked him to help us get some stuff for us he would get more into it.


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## swd12422 (Nov 9, 2007)

I'd try the "Deceptively Delicious"/"Sneaky Chef" methods PPs have discussed here. Try adding little bits of fruit/veggie purees to your usual recipes to up the nutritional value, and supplement with vitamins if you think she's lacking. Even cooking the pasta and rice in homemade veggie broth will add SOME nutrients over cooking them in plain water.

What about things like carrot/zucchini/date/banana quick breads as desserts?


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

i have gone back to watching what my dd eats in a week.

she has been a really good eater all her life till these last few months.

i know they go thru changing eating habits.

i really dont do or worry about it.

i feel as a parent its now my turn to worry about dd not eating enough veggies and fruit. like others have said seh is not pigging out on unhealthy stuff. so i am just going to let her go do her thing and wait for her to change her eating habits again.


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

Quote:

my parents used the old school technique of forcing me to eat or else I couldn't leave the table alternated w/ my dad holding my jaw open while he made me eat things.
I'm sorry that happened to you. It must have been really upsetting.

I think that if the other food she's eating is nutrient dense, then I would let it go. She knows it's available, but I wouldn't even put the things she doesn't want on her plate unless she asks for them.


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## Marsupialmom (Sep 28, 2003)

I think I would do a food log. You can still eat a balanced died with very little fruits in veggies if she is eating fish, beans, and legumes.

Also look into serving size. You might find that she is eating more servings than you think.

Fruits and some vegetables cause blood sugar swings and this could cause her problem.

I have a daughter with reflux that does not like a lot of fruits because the sugar and acids can trigger reflux.

Also, my kids eat less fruits when they are not growing much. At seven she is not growing as fast as a toddler nor rearing up for puberty. She might not need as many carbs right now that fruit gives.


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## SquidMommy (Jul 13, 2010)

I really like the hidden veggie idea, but I wonder: how do you moms re-introduce whole vegetables and fruits to your kiddos after they've been hidden in other foods?

Pasta sauce is one thing - that's obviously made of tomatoes (and whatever else can be fit in there), but if applesauce and zucchini are getting pureed into muffins, does your child balk when those foods are reintroduced whole/less mushed-up? I'm trying to learn tricks to get ahead of the game, and I don't want to set myself up for a lifetime of Blender Wars.


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## ssh (Aug 12, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SquidMommy* 
I really like the hidden veggie idea, but I wonder: how do you moms re-introduce whole vegetables and fruits to your kiddos after they've been hidden in other foods?

Pasta sauce is one thing - that's obviously made of tomatoes (and whatever else can be fit in there), but if applesauce and zucchini are getting pureed into muffins, does your child balk when those foods are reintroduced whole/less mushed-up? I'm trying to learn tricks to get ahead of the game, and I don't want to set myself up for a lifetime of Blender Wars.









My DD stopped eating green veggies for about a year and a half during a picky period when she was about 18 months old. I kept offering the foods the whole time, and one day she ate some broccoli with butter on it and then started eating zucchini. So I didn't reintroduce anything she just started eating them again. My DD has always liked veggies juices so we can easily hide stuff in them, but it's easier when they just like and eat the stuff you cook for meals.


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## mariamadly (Jul 28, 2009)

How does she feel when she eats them raw, does she say? Will she eat them cooked, no problem? My kids have Oral Allergy Syndrome, and they can put away piles of food with cooked apples or carrots, but their mouths get itchy and feel off if they eat them raw.


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## beep (Aug 18, 2009)

How about frozen strawberries sometimes? They taste great when half thawed.


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## tbone_kneegrabber (Oct 16, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SquidMommy* 
I really like the hidden veggie idea, but I wonder: how do you moms re-introduce whole vegetables and fruits to your kiddos after they've been hidden in other foods?

Pasta sauce is one thing - that's obviously made of tomatoes (and whatever else can be fit in there), but if applesauce and zucchini are getting pureed into muffins, does your child balk when those foods are reintroduced whole/less mushed-up? I'm trying to learn tricks to get ahead of the game, and I don't want to set myself up for a lifetime of Blender Wars.









I continue to offer the non-mushed up food. And ds actually *know* the pureed stuff is in the food, sometimes it seems like a texture issue, like he loves zucchini bread, is fine with pureed zucchini, but hates sauteed zucchini.

And then I act like "of course there is applesauce and carrots in muffins, that *is* how muffins are made"


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## coleslaw (Nov 11, 2002)

I would back off for awhile. You don't want a power struggle. I've been there and it's only recently getting a little better and mine is 9.5. Since everyone else eats the veggies and fruits, keep putting them out and don't say anything. Pass around each dish and let every family member serve themselves. No comments from anyone is allowed. Also, include some of the ideas here about things like pumpkin pancakes and adding purees to the beans. Your job is to feed your family, provide the healthy variety of foods. It is the individual's job to eat the foods.


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## anyalily (Oct 23, 2008)

http://www.thesneakychef.com/

I just posted about this book on another thread, but I love so much that I am shouting it out again. Making wholesome purees and sneaking them into stuff is working for us.


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## friskykitty (Jul 4, 2010)

Have you seen Deceptively Delicious?

http://www.deceptivelydelicious.com/site/

Kohls is selling it for $5 and Walmart has it for $6. It's all about how to puree different veggies and hide them in different recipes. My DH doesn't even notice the purees.


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## Tiramisu (Jun 15, 2009)

I want you to know you are not alone. My DD is almost 6 1/2 and has been picky in one way or form since about age 3. She will eat the occasional baby carrot stick, and only fresh cherries or red grapes...occasionally. That's it for fruit/veg.

It is so frustrating, because DH and I are total "foodies" and love to experiment with healthy ingredients and recipes. When we grew up there wasn't nearly the variety of fresh, wholesome fare that there is now and her complete lack of interest in it has been so distressing.

Until she was 5 I could get away with hiding things in tomato sauce, meatballs, sauce, etc. Now she claims that she "hates everything" that I cook. She has always been a very strong-willed and "challenging" (in the sense defined by Ross Greene, author of "The Explosive Child,") child, so this is part of a behavior pattern. I was a fairly docile complaint child who would ultimately take at least a few bites on command and never had to be coerced (though now I understand why my parents served so much creamed spinach - it was the only green thing I would eat for years).

If I push her, it leads to a power struggle (you must eat this before that, etc.) that just escalates and doesn't work, she'll refuse dinner and then eat a huge snack at bedtime (which I limit to organic yogurt and multigrain crisps, which I still think is too much sugar/carb at bedtime).

So, I do my best and give her as many choices as possible. I try to slip her healthy nibbles if she's watching t.v. while I prepare dinner (shredded cheese, a bowlful of beans, peanut butter and jelly), and basically let her pick at her plate once dinner is served. I make her desserts as healthfully as possible using the "Sneaky Chef" and "Deceptively Delicious" recipes (the ones that she likes, that is {sigh}), so at least I know that she is getting a dose of spinach, berries, broccoli, etc. in her brownies or oatmeal cookies (Also useful is the old classic "Taming of the C.A.N.D.Y. monster, I've just started using the "Cornell blend," adding a bit of soy flour, wheat germ and powdered milk to each cup of flour in a recipe). I also make a "healthy cheesecake" that will feed and fill her when all else fails.

She is slowly warming up to other foods that she tries outside the house, and is beginning to at least try one bite (as long as something isn't naturally green). And friends have told me that once they reach 8 or 9, they do get more adventurous.

It is very, very difficult as I also have observed that my daughter is highly sensitive, in terms of both her digestion and behavior, to what she eats....Good luck to you!

P.S. While you can make the various purees in the cookbooks, you can also buy baby foods (organic preferred) as a shortcut!


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## mtm (Dec 4, 2003)

At 7 I'd explain her body needed the vitamins and nutrients from fruits and veggies and get her involved in choosing which ones she will eat.


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## bestjob (Mar 19, 2002)

Ds is 12 and when he was 5-7 years old he went through a huge phase of feeling that he would gag if he ate food with a lot of texture. Fresh fruits and veg were a big challenge. Cooked vegetables were less of a problem.

One thing is that he is the kind of kid who stuffs his mouth full of food and then is surprised when it is hard to chew. He actually has to have this pointed out to him, which is amazing, but does show how illogical our relationship with food can be.

I just kept offering nicely prepared foods and he has gradually become less particular and he's more aware of the mechanics of eating.

He's really healthy, athletic, and slim now, and he is branching out a lot this summer.

Some of my friends use butter, dips and ketchup to bribe their kids to eat healthy veggies. My opinion is that this reinforces unhealthy ways of eating and should be avoided.

It is a discipline issue. But like all other discipline situations, it can be low-key and healthy. It doesn't have to blow up into food wars.


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## provocativa (Jan 17, 2005)

It is not true that we need the vitamins in fruits and veggies. We can get those from organ meats (so think about hiding some chicken liver in your ground beef).

Have you looked into other food intolerances? Fruits and vegetables actually contain some difficult chemicals for our bodies to handle, like salicylates. In our postmodern food supply fruits and veggies are higher in such chemicals because they are artificially ripened. There was a thread about it in the Allergies forum awhile back. Other plants have chemicals that are difficult for us, like oxalic acid in poke and spinach. There are goitrogens (thyroid inhibitors) in all the Brassicas. Eskimos were quite healthy without plant foods. But liver and eyeballs were delicacies. . . . There have been academic publications claiming that young children actually taste these poisons in plant foods- mand that's why toddlers reject the bitter veggies.


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## Surfacing (Jul 19, 2005)




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