# before the loss



## moonglowmama (Jan 23, 2002)

Hello Mamas,
I was just reading about the days before Xiola's birth (thank you, by the way, so beautiful!) and it got me remembering about the months before Stella was born and how nice it was being pregnant with her.

My favorite memory is of swinging in our colorful guatemalan hammock in the backyard, Israel (hawaiian music) CD playing loud enough in the house to hear it out there, just me and my ds (about 10 mos. at the time) and my precious baby, still growing inside me. I would sing, we'd nurse, the breeze would keep us cool. All was peaceful during those times. Thomas would just nestle against me and I would think how nice that he's bonding with his sibling already.

Wondered if anyone else wanted to share memories of their pregnancies, thoughts, dreams, etc? It's easy to focus on the loss, but it seems important that we also remember that wonderment and joy we had before the loss.

Sarah


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## festivus1 (Jul 22, 2002)

Great idea! My pregnancy was very brief, but we found out when we were on vacation in Charleston, SC. I fondly, fondly remember being at The Market walking around feeling so full of life and imagining what life with the baby would be like. Everytime I saw someone with a baby I thought, "That will be us in 9 months!" I saw lots of little decorations and knick knacks for baby rooms and dreamed of decorating the room, etc. I just felt like I was walking on air.









That was all one of the most precious times of my enitire life. Innocent and almost naive love. I went on to miscarry and then had two pregnancies where the babies lived. I never had that feeling again. I mean, I loved being pregnant the other times, but I never fully let myself just go on and on dreaming b/c there was always that fear that something might go wrong - after something had gone horribly wrong the first time... What a gift that first baby gave me.


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## Annais (Jul 26, 2002)

Thank you, moonglowmama. That is a wonderful idea!

I remember being so happy, and not really believing that this was actually happening to me, that there was actually a baby there! And on the drive to work, we'd listen to music, and I'd explain to him (out loud, of course) whether this was actually good music, and whether mom or dad really liked this song. Yes, it's true, we're very judgemental about our music, and I wanted to teach him that early!









Anyway, the coolest thing I remember feeling was that I always had a friend with me, and I talked to him all the time. That was the best part.


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## XM (Apr 16, 2002)

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## gamrgrl (Jul 9, 2002)

My most precious memories of Dante are of the times when he would kick and squirm and and would sit rubbing my belly and talking to him, just the two of us. I wanted to relish every moment I had with him before he was born and I would have to share. Those moments were precious to me.


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