# I have 2 angels in Heaven now



## HoosierDiaperinMama (Sep 23, 2003)

After our daughter, Reagan, was stillborn in August, I got pg quickly again in December. We found out yesterday that this baby stopped growing at 11 weeks. There was no heartbeat.







I should've been 14w4d yesterday. Neither DH or I had a good feeling about this pregnancy but I think we were both afraid to say anything outloud to each other. We do have to face telling Ross again that this baby won't be coming home either. And he was so excited about being a "big brover."









I have been dx'd w/2 clotting disorders. One of which is so rare that I am the first documented case in the world. The other one is a common disorder, meaning about 40% of the population is a carrier for this disorder. This combination of disorders though is very rare and little is known of their effects on pregnancy.

I was on 100 mg Lovenox twice a day plus a baby aspirin. At 36 weeks I was to go on 10,000 units of Heparin until delivery. It's unknown whether these disorders had anything to do w/this baby, but he/she was to have been our last.









It's a miracle that I have a living child knowing what we do now about these clotting disorders. So, while we're sad that yet another child of ours won't step foot on this earth, we are counting our blessings and moving on. The likelihood of me having survived this pregnancy were unknown but certainly not good.

We know that we won't be able to get pg again b/c of the danger it puts me and the baby in. I'm sad that this part of me has been taken away.


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## Mearaina (May 3, 2005)

I am so sorry.


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## AllyRae (Dec 10, 2003)

Oh Amy, I am so sorry.... This is just not fair at all...


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## egoldber (Nov 18, 2002)

I am so very, very sorry.


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## Trishy (Oct 15, 2002)

Oh Amy, I am so terribly sorry to hear this.


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## chrissy (Jun 5, 2002)

oh mama, i am so so so sorry. you're in my thoughts.


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## Debstmomy (Jun 1, 2004)

Amy I am so so so sorry.....Hugs & Love


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## Bex80 (Feb 8, 2004)

Oh my God. I am so sorry, mama.














s

It's truly a heartbreak and I am just so very sorry.


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## hankiesmama (Jan 20, 2005)

So sorry. I don't know why it is that people who want to be mothers so badly often have the hardest time and the people who don't really care or don't want them have the easiest times many times.
It's one of the great mysteries of the world.

Take care mama.


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## momto l&a (Jul 31, 2002)




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## Summerland (Aug 9, 2005)

Im so sad for you


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## Jilian (Jun 16, 2003)

I am so sorry mama. I was just thinking of you the other day and wondering how things were going for you, then I saw your sig. I wish there were something I could do. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on feel free to PM or e-mail me. I'll be keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers as always.


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## Irishmommy (Nov 19, 2001)

I'm really sorry.


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## shalena (May 31, 2004)

Amy, i'm so sorry. Be gentle with yourself. Sending lots of love.


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## coleslaw (Nov 11, 2002)

I truly wish I could be face-to-face with you and give you a real life hug. I am just so sad for your situation. Be gentle with yourself. Know that I am thinking of you often.


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## mimi_n_tre (Jun 15, 2005)

Amy,

I am so sorry to hear about your baby. I have thought about you a lot lately and was so sad to see your post. I guess now Reagan has someone to play with, even though it shouldn't have been...

Again, I am sorry mama...

Mary


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## Patti Ann (Dec 2, 2001)

Amy,

I am so sorry. I have been wondering how you were doing. This just makes me so sad.









Know we are all here for you.

Peace and love,

Patti


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## Barcino (Aug 25, 2004)

I am SO SO sorry you lost your precious baby! This is too much for anybody









I do not know much about clotting disorders but maybe I would postpone thinking about something final and try talking to as many specialist as I could in order to be totally at peace with a final decision. Hugs!


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## trini (Sep 20, 2005)




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## broodymama (May 3, 2004)

Oh no, mama, I am so very sorry.


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## Kaitnbugsmom (Dec 4, 2003)

s

More love and prayers to you from here.

if you want to talk about things in the future, feel free to PM me. I'm still working through it, but I'm more than willing to listen...


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## mama4gals (Nov 15, 2003)

Oh Amy, I am so sorry you lost the baby. When I pm'd you the other day I was so glad to see you were still pg, and now this. This is so sad mama. We're here for you, please lean on us.

Liz


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## umami_mommy (May 2, 2004)

i am so sorry for your loss mama.


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

Oh Amy.







I'm so so sorry.







for Reagan and







for your tiny one


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## HoosierDiaperinMama (Sep 23, 2003)

Thank you, mamas.

I have been in the hospital since last night. I was actually at a friend's house scrapbooking when I started to pass the baby. My DH was at home but he called the firehouse he usually works at and had them come get me by ambulance. With my history we just didn't know what to expect.

I stayed overnight for observation and had the D&C this a.m. The D&C went fine and I had no extra bleeding and didn't need a transfusion, which was a relief. I was awake in recovery by about 10:00 and crying. I was confused and kept begging the nurse to let me see my baby. I think I thought the baby was Reagan all over again.







When I finally was awake enough to be coherent I realized that the baby wasn't Reagan and that this baby and pregnancy were gone forever...just like her.

The baby, tissue, and placenta were requested by the maternal fetal medicine dr.'s at IUMed Center. They wanted to do chromosome testing on the baby and use the placenta for research since my situation is so unique.

I've been home for about an hour and a half and am resting. I'm in no pain and have very little bleeding. I'm sad, but I feel blessed that I knew this baby for 12 weeks and he/she got to be a part of my life for that short little period of time. I'm also blessed b/c I have my 4 y.o., an awesome DH, and a supportive family.








Reagan















Baby Grace


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## dziejen (May 23, 2004)

Oh Amy. I am so sad. I wish there were something I could say or do. You are in my heart. I am so sorry. I think that this is so unfair that such a wonderful mama has to endure such sadness and pain.
















Reagan








Baby Grace


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## athansor (Feb 9, 2005)

I'm so sorry.







s:


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## Kaitnbugsmom (Dec 4, 2003)




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## MerelyGod (Apr 5, 2005)

I am so sorry.


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## Katana (Nov 16, 2002)

Amy, I'm so sorry.









So much love and care to you...








Reagan








Baby Grace


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## Mama8 (Mar 6, 2006)

I am so very sorry. My heart is broken for you. May you find some measure of comfort.


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## NowOrNever (Sep 4, 2003)

I am so so sorry, Amy.


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## nikisager (Oct 25, 2005)

I am so sorry for you and your family, my thoughts and heart go out to you. You have a very good attitude, you are BLESSED, just keep hugging your ds, it really helped me to get passed everything when we lost Jacob, having and hugging my other boys...


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## Len (Nov 19, 2001)

Amy, I am very sorry. I can't understand why life is so cruel to some. It's good to hear you are recovering physically. We are here for you.


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## HaveWool~Will Felt (Apr 26, 2004)

Love you Amy!!!


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## anhaga (May 26, 2005)

for your babies

Glad to know that you are OK, and hope you can find true peace even with such sad news.


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## ryansmom02 (Jan 8, 2003)

I am so sorry for you loss..


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## coralsmom (Apr 1, 2005)

amy, i am relieved to know that you are home and healing with your dh and son. this is SO unfair, but i am glad to know you are safe and recovering. you are such a loving and caring mom, your son is one fortunate little guy, and reagan and her little sister grace were blessed to have you as their mom. you are in my thoughts, if i could i'd give you a big teary hug. love, coralsmom


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## bobica (May 31, 2004)

I'm so sorry amy!


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## Peppamint (Oct 19, 2002)

Amy- I just saw your siggie and realized baby Grace was gone.














I don't know what to say, so I won't say anything else but that you have my thoughts and prayers and I wish you the best as you recover.


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## Jennisee (Nov 15, 2004)

Amy, I just saw your signature as well. I am so very sorry. My heart breaks for you, more than I can even begin to put into words.


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## ~*~MamaJava~*~ (Mar 7, 2004)

Amy, I'm so sad.







May God wrap his arms around your family and hold you tight. I'll be praying for you, as always.


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## stellimamo (Jan 9, 2006)

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. May you find comfort in your loved ones.


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## Robin926 (Jun 25, 2005)

I am so so sorry for your losses, mama.


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## alsoSarah (Apr 29, 2002)

I'm so sorry, mama.

Best wishes to you and you family.

alsoSarah


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## RachelGS (Sep 29, 2002)

Amy, I'm so incredibly sorry.


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## LizaBear (Feb 1, 2003)

Oh Amy - I am SO very sorry.


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## De-lovely (Jan 8, 2005)

Oh Amy- I am so sorry to hear about all of this! I think of you and your dh and Ross and Reagan often and I wish I could offer more than prayers and blessings for you.I hope whatever you decide concerning adoption that it brings peace to you.

(formerly eemamahob)

Blessings mama!


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## isaiahsmommy05 (Jul 1, 2005)

I am so sorry for your loss







I have 4 clotting disorders and know how devastating and scary they can be.
I am just so very sorry and heartbroken for you







:







:


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## Kewpie (Sep 21, 2004)

I'm so sorry for your loss.


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## lestouffer (Jul 2, 2002)

Amy, I am so sorry. I hope, no matter how painful, that you are comforted in knowing taht you have answers, even if they are really no answers at all. Big hugs go out to your and your family.


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## mamabearsoblessed (Jan 8, 2003)

I am so very, very sorry Amy for the loss of your precious Babies. Strong ((hugs)) to you today, and every day. You and your family are in my prayers.


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## operamommy (Nov 9, 2004)

I'm so sorry. Thinking of you and yours.


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## spatulagirl (Feb 21, 2002)

I am so sorry Amy. I really am


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## kymholly (Jul 18, 2004)




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## kath (Aug 6, 2004)

i am so sorry.


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## Spark (Nov 21, 2001)

Sending you peace and love. Holding your babies in my heart.

I'm so sorry, Amy.


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## 5thAttempt (Apr 22, 2006)

I am very sorry for your loss.


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## babycarrier (Apr 2, 2004)

your family is in my thoughts. an extra hug out to ross


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## pianojazzgirl (Apr 6, 2006)

I am so so sorry sweety.


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## BethanyB (Nov 12, 2005)

Amy-







I am so sorry and sad for you honey.


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