# Do your friends RF beyond a year?



## Katielady (Nov 3, 2006)

DS is still rear-facing at almost 2; we plan to have him RF til he reaches 35 pounds or whatever the height limit is (gotta look that up in case he's getting close!) But it's so weird to me...despite all the good info out there, not one of my smart, educated, generally independent minded friends has their toddler RFing anymore. When they see DS in his car seat they're all surprised, and ask me why he's still RFing, and I say it's safer. They get very uncomfortable and don't want to hear any more about it, in a hiding-your-head-in-the-sand kind of way.

It mystifies me. It's really not a hardship having him RF. And once you see the crash test videos it's so obviously better.

Anyway, just wondering if anyone else is the only RFer amongst their mom friends.


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## woodchick (Jan 5, 2007)

DD is ff now (at 23mos) because she out grew the rf limits. We are the only family we know that didn't turn her as soon as she turned 1 year.

EVERYONE told us we should turn her because "she needs a better view". I just told them that I'd rather her have a bad view than a broken neck.


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## alysmommy2004 (Jun 23, 2006)

I am very lucky when it comes to my friends. I have researched everything I can on the internet and drilled it into their heads why RFing is safer. Unfortunately I can't say the same for some of my family members.


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## lemurmommies (Jan 15, 2007)

Ever since I learned about ERF, I have been telling all my friends about it. Sadly, not one of them has listened to a think I have said and they have all turned their kids around right at 12 months. They use the same old excuses - it was too hard to get them in the seat, their legs were cramped, they were too tall... I also have friends who are using their FF seat unteathered, which is illegal in Canada. They can't be bothered to take their older car in to have a tether anchor installed.

I am taking the CRST class next month. Maybe once I am certified my words will have more weight behind them. Although somehow, I doubt it.


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## DahliaRW (Apr 16, 2005)

FYI, a seat is outgrown by height rearfacing when there is less than 1" of hard plastic shell above the child's head.


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## an_aurora (Jun 2, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DahliaRW* 
FYI, a seat is outgrown by height rearfacing when there is less than 1" of hard plastic shell above the child's head.

Depends on the seat, but yes this is the general rule of thumb.

I have a friend who is technically ERFing since her kid is 13 months and 21 pounds. I know another person who has 2 RF toddlers, and a lady in my playgroup has a 18 mo RF, but he's tiny (21-22 lbs).


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## Sharlla (Jul 14, 2005)

Almost all of them RF to the max. Of course most of the mamas I know are AP and do extended BFing, babywear, cloth dipe etc.


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## MacKinnon (Jun 15, 2004)

My techie friends do







but no, my other friends don't for the long haul, although I have gotten a few to go further past a year than with their first (15 and 17 months).


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## bri276 (Mar 24, 2005)

I don't know anyone else who does extended rf that I know of. My DD will be 3 in July and luckily, is only 29 lbs and has plenty of time left in the Marathon. I am going to freak out when I have to turn her around!!!

I really don't get it, outside of the groupthink/desire to make your baby grow up faster thing.


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## Smalls181 (May 12, 2006)

The only person I know who does is my older sister. My little sister probably will, but her daughter is only 4 months right now. I have two other friends who SAY they will, but their kids are 7 and 8 months.


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## MommaCrystal (May 25, 2006)

I'm am the only person I know who kept their child RFing after a year. At 2 1/2 I'm pretty much considered a freak and anal because of it.

I'm supposed to watch another two year old next week. Mom just had a c-section and wants me to take her son to play with my son so she can get a little break. I wonder if she'll make the RFing an issue.


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## ThreeBeans (Dec 2, 2006)

THe ones I manage to sink my teeth into while their children are still babies, yup. I've managed to convince mums of a couple small one year olds to go back to rear-facing.

I am like a dog with a bone and they do it to shut me up


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## alysmommy2004 (Jun 23, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommaCrystal* 
I'm supposed to watch another two year old next week. Mom just had a c-section and wants me to take her son to play with my son so she can get a little break. I wonder if she'll make the RFing an issue.

For me it's my car = my rules. Even my friends who aren't as strict about car seat safety know that in my car their kids will ride ERF or EH if applicable. Luckily they all RF at least until 2 so I don't have to give them a hard time about it.


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## thepeach80 (Mar 16, 2004)

A few that I've talked to, most don't. I just had a friend turn her 20# 15 mos old ffing in a seat that can't ff till 22# and 34".







She has a college degree so can obviously read the manual and stickers and I told her last week about the limits, I left her some more info today to read. Hopefully she listens b/c we're close friends and I would be heartbroken if anything happened to her dd. I'm not optomistic though as she had her barely 30# 3yo in a booster.


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## Amila (Apr 4, 2006)

I have ONE friend who is still rfing her almost 2-year old. She's an MDC mama of course







ALL of my other friends (and I have a LOT of friends with kids) turned their babes at 1 year, if not before. My SIL turned her DS at 8 months "because he was 22 pounds!!!"














posted a bulletin on my myspace hoping people would catch on, but nope- they just think I am being nuts.

In fact, I had to send out a mass email to my MIL, mom, and sister with crash test videos attached to shut them up because I got sick and tired of hearing about DD's "poor legs getting scrunched up" etc.

They don't bug me anymore.









It even took a while for me to convince DH, but the videos shut him up also.

ETA: We have a Boulevard, and my toddler is just barely 22 pounds, so I think she will be RF for a LONG time.


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## angrypixiemama (Jan 5, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Amila* 
I have ONE friend who is still rfing her almost 2-year old. She's an MDC mama of course







ALL of my other friends (and I have a LOT of friends with kids) turned their babes at 1 year, if not before. My SIL turned her DS at 8 months "because he was 22 pounds!!!"














posted a bulletin on my myspace hoping people would catch on, but nope- they just think I am being nuts.

In fact, I had to send out a mass email to my MIL, mom, and sister with crash test videos attached to shut them up because I got sick and tired of hearing about DD's "poor legs getting scrunched up" etc.

They don't bug me anymore.









It even took a while for me to convince DH, but the videos shut him up also.

ETA: We have a Boulevard, and my toddler is just barely 22 pounds, so I think she will be RF for a LONG time.


My 17 month old is just 20 pounds and I get questioned all the time. "Do you know you can spin her around, dear?" Grrrr.

I will have to try sending along the videos....maybe that would help!


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## bnhmama (Nov 28, 2006)

*sighs* I don't know anyone (Other than here on mdc) that ERFS. It's a bit of a victory, really, if they manage to make it to one year and 20 pounds. I hate the way people get *SO* defensive and tune you out if you so much as mention it. Ugh.

I got all kinds of comments and complaints about ERFing ds. Frustrating.
(At 5, he's obviously not ERF anymore but he is FF with a harness and I get all sorts of flack for that, too.)


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## readytobedone (Apr 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Katielady* 

It mystifies me. It's really not a hardship having him RF. And once you see the crash test videos it's so obviously better.

well, i dunno your friends' situations, but DD turned 1 today and i'm thinking about turning her forward. it actually _is_ a hardship to keep them RF if they scream and cry a lot that way.

a lot of kids who hate the car when RF do much better forward facing, or so i hear









you have to weigh the safety of RF against the danger of having to drive while your baby screams and cries. all things being equal, we would RF till the last possible minute, but she's a car hater, and that changes things.


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## AoifesMom (Sep 7, 2007)

I know no one else IRL who keeps their baby rear facing past the 'magical' one year mark, most turned them well before that. Frustrates me to no end when they look at me like I am crazy.


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## Katzchen (Aug 13, 2007)

Nope, everyone, including the Fire Dept CPS tech has asked me why I won't turn DS1 FF.


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## alysmommy2004 (Jun 23, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *readytobedone* 
well, i dunno your friends' situations, but DD turned 1 today and i'm thinking about turning her forward. it actually _is_ a hardship to keep them RF if they scream and cry a lot that way.

a lot of kids who hate the car when RF do much better forward facing, or so i hear









you have to weigh the safety of RF against the danger of having to drive while your baby screams and cries. all things being equal, we would RF till the last possible minute, but she's a car hater, and that changes things.

I would really try to ride it out a little longer. My DS HATES the car and he would scream and scream and that would make my DD scream that he was screaming. I ended up with two screaming kids and just learned how to block them out when driving. Eventually DS got to the point to where he will tolerate the car now, as long as I don't keep him in it for over an hour, which is not something I have to do often anyway. It's really just been the past few months that he's been able to deal.

I understand what you're saying, I know a screaming child is distracting. I am all for reducing your own distractions (no cell phones, etc) to make you (a general you) a safer driver. But you cannot control the other drivers on the road. A few weeks ago a guy ran a stop sign and almost tboned us, on the drivers side, where my DS was sitting. We were able to swerve and the guy hit his brakes and just narrowly missed us. I'd hate to think of what would have happened had he hit us if DS was FFing.


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## Crunchie (Jan 9, 2007)

Forgive my ignorance, but what is the reason to continue rear facing if your child has reached the weight and height limits for your particular seat to be forward facing? I mean, obviously it's a safety issue, but why would the seats be rated to be forward facing if they weren't safe to go forward facing at that point? For example, my Britax Marathon says that you can go forward facing at 20 lbs if the child is at least one year old. I can understand why the age thing doesn't make any sense--I don't see what's so "magical" about being 1 year old--but if the child's size meets the requirements for that particular seat, why would you wait?

I'm not trying to argue the point, I really just need the info--my son is 10 months old, and I hadn't thought about the issue 'till I saw this thread! I don't see any reason to put him forward facing at a year, I'm just wondering what the reasoning is behind it.


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## thepeach80 (Mar 16, 2004)

Do a quick scan on the first few pages here and I'm sure you'll find pages and pages of info. A few things, the AAP says to rf to the limits of the seat, 33# in your case. A child who is rfing is 530% SAFER than a child who is ffing. There's so much info out there and crash tests etc.


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## Crunchie (Jan 9, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thepeach80* 





Do a quick scan on the first few pages here and I'm sure you'll find pages and pages of info. A few things, the AAP says to rf to the limits of the seat, 33# in your case. A child who is rfing is 530% SAFER than a child who is ffing. There's so much info out there and crash tests etc.

Thanks!! Yes, after I rushed into my question on this thread I did find a lot more info in this forum...







I need to look before I speak!







It makes a lot of sense to keep them RF--I certainly am in no rush to put my little one FF, and he's pretty tiny so he can probably comfortably RF for a long time--I just wanted to know the "whys" of it all. I never thought about 'till now, 'cause my son is still so young so FF wasn't even on my radar--but, like so many others have posted, everyone I know flipped their babes at 12 months.

Thanks again,
Maria


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## thepeach80 (Mar 16, 2004)

No problem, my 3.5yo is still rfing.


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## amis2girls (Mar 2, 2005)

I RF my youngest. If I turned her around she could'nt look at her older sisters so that may be the only reason she doesn't complain.

Everyone I know treats 1yo as a milestone and turns their kids too.


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## Redheaded_Momma (Nov 8, 2006)

I do see the advantage of turning the kiddos to ff at 1 year but for safety reasons I just won't do it.

I don't know any of my friends who do erf. I think I may be the only one and I have tried to convince many to keep them rf. IT IS JUST SO MUCH SAFER!!

My carseat tech. told me if you are in an accident and your LO is FF your LO is more likely to break his neck but if your LO is ERF he is more likely to break legs. hummmm I'd much prefer broken legs to a broken neck.


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## ThreeBeans (Dec 2, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Redheaded_Momma* 
I do see the advantage of turning the kiddos to ff at 1 year but for safety reasons I just won't do it.

I don't know any of my friends who do erf. I think I may be the only one and I have tried to convince many to keep them rf. IT IS JUST SO MUCH SAFER!!

My carseat tech. told me if you are in an accident and your LO is FF your LO is more likely to break his neck but if your LO is ERF he is more likely to break legs. hummmm I'd much prefer broken legs to a broken neck.

Actually, that's not quite true. There are no documented cases of legs broken due to ERF in an appropriate seat.

There are however cases of broken necks due to forward facing too soon.


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## ashleyhaugh (Jun 23, 2005)

i know a few who went to 18months or so. i knew many more who turned early


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## eurobin (Aug 20, 2006)

All my friends FF at 12 months or sooner. :-(


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## urchin_grey (Sep 26, 2006)

Only my sister...

I even showed my friend the video but because the video said "The AAP recommends turning your child FF at 12mo or 20 pounds *YET* its safer for your child to remain RF until they reach the limits of their seat" she turned her at 20lbs anyway because the 'AAP wouldn't say something that isn't safe'.









ETA: My DS is *still* RFing at 3. And he'll stay that way for quite sometime I'm sure as he's only 23ish pounds and 32" tall.


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## ThreeBeans (Dec 2, 2006)

The AAP does not recommend turning at one year and 20 pounds. The AAP recommends rearfacing to the limit of the seat.


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## an_aurora (Jun 2, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ThreeBeans* 
The AAP does not recommend turning at one year and 20 pounds. The AAP recommends rearfacing to the limit of the seat.

I was just going to say this


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## urchin_grey (Sep 26, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ThreeBeans* 
The AAP does not recommend turning at one year and 20 pounds. The AAP recommends rearfacing to the limit of the seat.

Oh, I know they do now!








This was at least two years ago that I showed her that video and I'm not sure how old the video was at the time. I know its outdated info now though.









Which means - I'm gonna try to convince her again since she just had another baby!


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## alysmommy2004 (Jun 23, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *urchin_grey* 
Oh, I know they do now!








This was at least two years ago that I showed her that video and I'm not sure how old the video was at the time. I know its outdated info now though.









Which means - I'm gonna try to convince her again since she just had another baby!

Actually, they've been recommending it since 2002.


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## bri276 (Mar 24, 2005)

Quote:

you have to weigh the safety of RF against the danger of having to drive while your baby screams and cries. all things being equal, we would RF till the last possible minute, but she's a car hater, and that changes things.
my dd hates the car, and screams and cries RF pretty regularly. the "distraction" of listening to her cry is nothing compared to the distraction I would feel, knowing she was optionally FF and could be in an accident at any moment without maximum protection. I don't get that argument, at all. I have a backseat loaded with toys, water, non-chokeable snacks, books, I play child friendly music, and if none of that works- ok. She isn't old enough to know what's best for her yet, that's my job, and if it makes her unhappy that's unfortunate, but nothing compared to having her severely injured or worse. I have been in an accident with my DD in the car, and I praised the high heavens she was RF and untouched.

And there is absolutely no guarantee she would be less cranky if she were FF. I don't plan on finding out either way!


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