# The Mind/Body Connection & m/c



## SamuraiMom (Nov 7, 2006)

I just read Amydawnsmommy's post about the loss of her baby girl Amy Dawn seven years ago and I was moved to read her full story. What I connected with the most was the feelings she had leading up to the passing of her little one. I am starting this thread for women to share their spiritual/emotional experiences that lead up to their m/c. It seems that many women, when looking back can remember a period of time when things didn't feel right, when there was either confusion, or fear, or sadness that cannot be explained, prior to a m/c. I went through the same thing recently before I learned that our baby Zachary had died , I was 23 weeks pregnant, and I know that though he stopped developing around 16/17 weeks, he was still with me for at least another week or two. Around the end of November, a week after we heard his little heart beat for the last time, a huge wave of sadness came over me, and I could not explain it, or even talk to anyone about it. It was overwhelming, but I put it off to daily stress with my dh and kids, and pg hormones. Ugh.... It lasted about a week, and then I decided that what ever the fates had intended for me I would accept, not even wanting to entertain that awful possibility, that haunting thought in the back of my mind that something might be wrong. And then on January 2nd, we learned the truth, that Zachary had passed a few weeks back. Thank G-d I had recorded these feelings in my journal, I was able to look back and put it all together, and perhaps it is just my way of explaining things, but I feel most women on MDC would disagree. In my heart I know that my subconscious took care of something my conscience could not or would not accept at the time. Thank you for sharing...
Samantha mum to Sarah/8







, Sami/4







, Rachel/2.5







, & Zach







(1.04.07)m/c 17 weeks


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## mommysusie (Oct 19, 2006)

When I lot my baby there was a time just a few days before I knew that I suddenly felt like I wasn't pregnant anymore. I can't explain it, I just didn't feel right. I found out that was probably around the time that our baby had died.


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## coralsmom (Apr 1, 2005)

i had a miscarriage last year at 11wks. i was filled with fear the entire time i was pregnant that i would lose the baby. and i did. but, i don't think i had any internal, preconscious knowledge that the baby was fated to die at 11wks. i just had a lot of fear about the possibility of loss.

i lost my daughter 2 years ago, full term, to stillbirth. i was blissfully unaware of any possibility that she could die. it made losing her that much worse. i wish my preconscious could have cushioned this loss for me somehow.

i have read that some women know that they will lose thier baby. and then there are women who never got any of that awareness. sometimes the intuition proves to be correct, and sometimes it is wrong.

i do believe that there is a strong mind/body connection. i have experienced my mind turning off to protect me from shutting down completely. i went into shock. there was too much sorrow for me to process, so my mind went into survival mode and only let me process little bits at a time so i could survive the trauma of the loss.

i think we look for reason in hindsight. sometimes it brings comfort, and sometimes guilt.

i don't disagree with you at all. it sounds like a gift to have had a sense of self-protection for this great loss. but this doesn't seem to happen for everyone, and sometimes not 'knowing' can just add to the sorrow. so i want to put it out there that this is all so individual.

i am so sorry that you lost your son zachary. my heart really hurts for you and your family. much love to you...


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## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

From the time I got my first







with my 2 m/c I had the awful feeling that something was wrong. I just knew in my heart that those 2 pg's wouldnt make it.

With my other 2 pg's, dd and ds I had a very real fear of something going wrong but I never had the same feeling of "knowing" something was wrong if that makes sence.


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## SamuraiMom (Nov 7, 2006)

SamuraiMom said:


> I was able to look back and put it all together, and perhaps it is just my way of explaining things, but I feel most women on MDC would disagree.
> 
> I'm sorry, what I meant was that I believe that women tend to trust their intuition or instinct and to write such feelings off as my conscious minds way of handling the loss would be too easy, or almost invalidating the higher conscious. At the time I woudn't have put two and two together, there was no reason to believe that my baby had died at that point, but he did, but I was unaware. So that most women would agree with the higher consiousness idea and disagree with the more simple explanation, does that make sense? And sometimes we miss these cues, if I had not written it down in my journal, I may not have even considered it now, ya know?
> 
> Samantha mum to Sarah/8 , Sami/4 , Rachel/2.5 , & Zach(1.04.07)m/c 17 weeks


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## queencarr (Nov 19, 2001)

Let me start this by saying that I have always had a "sixth sense" for things, and would often get snippits of what could be described as visions, sometimes just sensations, or an awareness. So when I found out I was pg with dd, I worked really hard to explore this with that pg, and get to know her. Not sure why I didn't think or feel the need to do this with my 1st, but I suppose that is all part of the circle that something bad was going to happen. When I was pg with dd, I thought that it was odd that I couldn't visualize anything past her birth. I knew she was a girl, "felt" details of her personality, but it was really strange to me that I couldn't picture her in our life. I chalked it up to apprehension about being pg again, as I developed severe preeclampsia with ds1 and had an emergency cs at 30w because we were both dying. My focus and goal became to make it to that magical 30w point, because then somehow it would all be ok.

After she was born, it was realized that she had died the previous weekend. All weekend I had been dreadfully sleepy, drugged feeling, and had a hard time keeping my eyes open. I just wanted to curl inside myself. I also had a mild sense of panic, which I again chalked up to pg timing, as I was at the same # of weeks I had developed PE with my first. She wasn't a particularly active baby, so it was not unusual to feel little or no movement. She died of a cord injury, and I suspect that I was sharing in her sensations of death. There is just no other reason that I can think of why I would have felt that way. Especially since the after about 36 hours, the sensation just...stopped, and I was fine again.

The morning I found out, I had another moment of panic right before I went to my dr's appt. I again talked myself out of it, and went on.

Because I had developed PE again, I was induced immediately. My body labored so slowly, contractions were very mild and irregular. After 12 hours on cervidil and another 12 on pitocin, I was only 3cm dilated and the contractions had stopped, so they broke my water. At that point, it became real to me, and I was instantly in hard labor; she was born 2 hours later. I think I had a mental block about it all, and simply would not deliver her until I had come to the point that it was real. For me, hearing that my waters were darkly stained was the concrete reality that I couldn't ignore and I felt the mental shift. I believe that she stayed wtih me until the moment of her birth--I _felt_ her leave. There is just no way to explain the sensation. I distincly remember experiencing the moment of birth through both of our perspectives and then it was gone.

After her burial, dh and I went back to the cemetary alone and sat on a blanket over her grave. When I closed my eyes, I heard the sounds I had imagined when we had worked on finding our "mental place" in our childbirth classes. When I opened them and looked around, I saw the images that I had seen in the same exercise. I can remember thinking _this_ is where I went for my safe, relaxing place?!? However, it did reassure me that we had made the right decision about burying her out of state, in a family plot of Dh's family.

Her birth is the last moment of awareness or sixth sense that I have had. I think it was just too strong and I blocked it unconsciously. I take that back--ther was one time after she was born that I sensed her, but it was different somehow. Recently, I have started to catch of a glimpse of a sensation here and there, but nothing concrete. In some ways it is a blessing, because I didn't realize how much I picked up off of other people on a daily basis and how draining that can be. In other ways, I really miss it, because it was such an integral part of who I am and how I perceived the world and helped others. At times, I feel lost without it. In the link in my sig is dd's birth story, and in the pages entitled poems, I explored a lot of these sensations.

Thank you for opening this up; I had been thinking about asking something similar for a while, and just wasn't ready to go to that pacae yet. I am sorry for all the losses I read about on here. I wish none of them happened.


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## sunflwrmoonbeam (Oct 9, 2006)

I miscarried very early, as in less than 5 weeks. But when I got my BFP I didn't believe it. It seemed so surreal. I knew from the beginning that it would miscarry, though I didnt' want to believe it.


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## strmis (Dec 31, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *queencarr* 
All weekend I had been dreadfully sleepy, drugged feeling, and had a hard time keeping my eyes open. I just wanted to curl inside myself. I also had a mild sense of panic, which I again chalked up to pg timing, as I was at the same # of weeks I had developed PE with my first. She died of a cord injury, and I suspect that I was sharing in her sensations of death.

Wow, I can't explain how much reading that moment of yours touched me. To have such strong intuition and be connected to your baby like that is so sad but amazing, too.
To all you strong women, my condolences go out to you









I lost my little girl at 22 weeks. Throughout the pregnancy I was paranoid about m/c'ing and the thought that something wasn't right. Part of it was that I had very little symptoms of pregnancy. Maybe its normal, or maybe just extra paranoia? I have no other pregnancy to compare it to. Also,I had very few (I can count on 1 hand) dreams of her.

My baby had a chromosomal problem, and were blissfully ignorant of her condition until my 18th week. I had 2 choices then, abort the pregnancy or let nature take its course. One thing was certain was that she would not go full term, but how long we didnt know. I PRAYED I would not have to decide such a thing. I could never abort my own child, but I didn't know if I was strong enough to go nearly full term stillborn.

Two evenings before that u/s appointment I dreamt of blood all over the toilet. 1.5 weeks later, we could no longer find her heartbeat. I had expected this at my m/w appt that day because that morning I woke up feeling "detatched." Such a bizarre feeling to be feeling pregnant the whole time, then all of a sudden just not.

I m/c at 22 weeks, and it was so eerily similar to what I saw in my dream.

I always wonder, if I found out there was something wrong with an earlier u/s, would that change the situation? Would she have died then? Did we keep her alive with our love and thoughts? Did she stay longer so we could catch a brief glimpse of her in an u/s picture and keep it as a momento? To be able to hold her and see her tiny adorable hands and feet when she was born? Did my thoughts and prayers bring finally give her peace and bring her to heaven?


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## SamuraiMom (Nov 7, 2006)

queencarr said:


> Quote:
> 
> After she was born, it was realized that she had died the previous weekend. All weekend I had been dreadfully sleepy, drugged feeling, and had a hard time keeping my eyes open. I just wanted to curl inside myself. I also had a mild sense of panic, which I again chalked up to pg timing, as I was at the same # of weeks I had developed PE with my first. She wasn't a particularly active baby, so it was not unusual to feel little or no movement. She died of a cord injury, and I suspect that I was sharing in her sensations of death. There is just no other reason that I can think of why I would have felt that way. Especially since the after about 36 hours, the sensation just...stopped, and I was fine again.
> You know Carrie, I bet that that is what I was experiencing, sharing Zachery's pain as he left this world. It was just an intense saddness where I just wanted to curl up in bed and be left alone, there is such a smiliarity there in the way that the baby curls into itself after he or she has passed.
> ...


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## queencarr (Nov 19, 2001)

Thank you both--it was such a surreal experience.

strmis--ironically, I attended a seminar when I was pg with dd that talked about fetal memory; it was specifically how babies picked up on the abuse of their mothers while they were in utero (they had some pretty compelling evidence of memory). I thought at the time that it was pretty clear to me that if there was fetal memory, there was fetal awareness. I think that it definately goes both ways.

SamaraiMom, it is such a hard feeling to describe, isn't it? I can close my eyes and experience the exact sensation, but words seem inadequate to capture it. It was like withdrawing into myself, going further in than I thought was possible. There were moments when I lost touch with anything and everything around me. There was no sadness in my experience; there was some panic at first, but then just...withdrawing. For me, it is healing to realize that she did not suffer or struggle, that she just drifted off to sleep and then continued to drift. I had many, many nightmares imagining how she died those first few days before I made the connection to what I had experienced. It also makes sense to me that you would m/c the way you did, in the same way that I didn't really go into labor until it became real to me and I let myself go into it. Labor was so mild those 1st 24 hours that I slept through much of it, then she was born 2 hours later.

I think there is a lot more connection than we often give credit to, but you have to be still enough to be open to it. I also think that some people are just naturally better at being aware of it. Just as I am perfectly aware that I have a "wall" up that keeps me from sensing things in the same way I used to, I think a lot of people have walls up that they don't even realize are there, for whatever reason. I know that someday, when I have worked through whatever it is that is keeping me blocked, that it will come down, but I am not there yet. If nothing else, I know that because it still scares me to be open to that much pain again.


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## Brisen (Apr 5, 2004)

I've had 4 miscarriages in the past year. With the first 3, I had a dream that I was pg, and then a dream that I was bleeding or miscarrying, before I miscarried. Before my last miscarriage, I had a dream that I was pg (with a boy) and then a dream that I was starting labour and everything was good. But when I got a positive test for that pg, I didn't feel like it was going to go well. I was scared, not excited, and sure that I would miscarry while we were away at Christmas. I did miscarry, at my ILs, on Dec 25th. I'm pg again and feeling much better about this pg, partly because I'm taking supplements to help with my hormones. However, I've had dreams that I was bleeding a bit for two nights in a row... I think sometimes dreams and feelings are premonitions, and sometimes they are a reflection of our hopes and fears. It's only in retrospect that I, myself, have been able to be sure of the difference.


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## boysmom2 (Jan 24, 2007)

I've had 2 m/c and 2 healthy pregnancies. My first pregnancy had no problems, and I never worried throughout the whole thing.

My second pregnancy ended in a m/c at only 6 weeks. The only bad feelings I had with that one was the day the m/c started. All that day I was in a horrible mood, for no apparent reason. Later that night, the spotting began.

My 3rd pregnancy again had no problems. This time I worried, since I had m/c before, but I had no "feeling" that something bad would happen. I had another healthy baby.

My 4th pregnancy ended in m/c at almost 19 weeks. From the very beginning, I felt that things were not quite right. Even telling my parents, at only 6 weeks, that I was pregnant felt strange - almost like I was lying to them. Even after my 12 week check-up, when everything looked great and I heard a strong heart beat, I still felt like I shouldn't tell anyone. Then, at 18 weeks, I began to have this overwhelming feeling of dreading the coming weekend. I couldn't figure out why I felt this way, as we had fun things planned for the weekend. But, I started spotting on that Friday night, and saw my midwife on Saturday, when we learned that the baby had died a few weeks before.

Another odd thing I remember, is that when I was pregnant the 3rd time, and had a healthy baby, I took a prenatal yoga class. In the class, we would lay on the floor, close our eyes and practice breathing. The instructor would tell us to imagine our breath bringing in oxygen and good energy to our babies, and carrying out bad stuff. I could really do it. I could see my breath - as a swirl of sparkles (I know if sounds silly) - rushing in around my baby and then back out again with every breath. Then, with my next pregnancy, the one that ended at 19 weeks, I couldn't do it. I would lay there in yoga class, breathing, sending good thoughts to my baby, but I just couldn't see it. I tried at home, in bed at night to force myself to send the good breath to the baby, but no sparkles.

I just found out I'm pregnant again. The sparkles are back.


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## SamuraiMom (Nov 7, 2006)

boysmom2, I just read your m/c story, I want you to know I feel sad for your loss, sometime it just feels so unfair, but I am also happy to hear that you are pg again!

Quote:

SamaraiMom, it is such a hard feeling to describe, isn't it? I can close my eyes and experience the exact sensation, but words seem inadequate to capture it. It was like withdrawing into myself, going further in than I thought was possible
.

I know Carries, it is hard to eplain, I think that that is why I couldn't talk to anyone at the time about it. I could not explain what it was that was going on in my head. And the more I think about it, I believe that I was experiencing what he was going through, because suddenly it stopped and I was back to "normal" so to speak, but something felt different, I found myself having to convince myself that things were OK.

Samantha, mama to Sarah/8







, Sami/4







, Rachel/2.5







, Zachary







(1.4.07) 2nd trim m/c

I live on







, I














, and I


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## gaeasun (Mar 5, 2004)

I had at mc at about 10 weeks. I knew the entire time that something was wrong. I wasn't sick and didn't feel pregnant. Everyone said to me, "Every pregnancy is different. Stop worrying!" But I just kind of knew.

With my stillborn son, I had another experience. I had a series of seizures that ended in me being unconscious, and these are probably what killed my son. They induced me while I was unconscious, and I gave birth to him while in a coma. When I woke up over a week later, I reached for my stomach and told my husband I already knew we had lost him. Weird.


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## boysmom2 (Jan 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *boysmom2* 
I just found out I'm pregnant again. The sparkles are back.

So, so much for sparkles... I think I'm finally finished with this m/c. I only knew for sure that I was pregnant this time for a few days, so maybe that's why I was feeling hopeful. I did have a m/c dream before I started spotting, but I figured it was from reading all the postings here. I guess it really did mean something.


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## sunflwrmoonbeam (Oct 9, 2006)

I lost my baby very early on. I knew from the beginning that my first would end in a miscarriage, that my body needed to learn how to be pregnant before I would successfully carry to term. Also, my DH can be one of the most stubborn and unsupportive men on the planet. I love him dearly, and he can be amazing, but sometimes he's simply not there. And two days before I got my BFP, I told him that I knew he wouldn't be there for me if I miscarried. Of course, he disagreed.

A week later, I started bleeding. A week after that he was telling me to get over it. It took him 2 months to realize he was a total jerk about the situation.

And I knew when it was happening that something was wrong with the miscarriage. It didn't hurt, and I barely bled. Almost 3 months later, I'm still dealing with it, but luckily go to the doctor next week to figure out what's up.


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## CalebsMama05 (Nov 26, 2005)

this is something I didn't connect until later. at the time I laughed it off as a weird pregnancy dream although I told no one about it.

I miscarried gestationally at 8 weeks. the amniotic sac stopped growing at 5w4d and the baby itself grew until it couldn't grow anymore (think inside a vaccuum sealed bag) at 7w2d.

I didn't start bleeding until 7w4d.

at 7w2d I had this dream:

I was in a car with my uncle he was teaching me how to drive it and there was an old/ill man tied (by the waist) with rope to the bumper. I remember as my uncle was explaining things to me I kept eyeing the man and the man kept waving as if to say "don't worry about me..do what you need to do" at any rate he's running (gliding maybe) behind us and getting older/sicker by the minute. and I was getting more and more alarmed. finally my uncle says "okay lets take her up" (apparently it was a flying car)







at any rate I said "well what about..." and he says "oh he's a goner don't worry about him." I looked back and got another wave and a sad smile and the rope just broke. the man fell down dead and I took the car into the air.

it was a weird dream but at the same time...I woke up so unbearably sad that I started crying.

I also had a dream that I gave birth to a 22m/o boy (the exact number of months between my angel's due date and ds1's birth month)


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## CalebsMama05 (Nov 26, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *boysmom2* 
So, so much for sparkles... I think I'm finally finished with this m/c. I only knew for sure that I was pregnant this time for a few days, so maybe that's why I was feeling hopeful. I did have a m/c dream before I started spotting, but I figured it was from reading all the postings here. I guess it really did mean something.


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## barose (Dec 6, 2006)

I guess I'm in the minority that "had no idea" before I lost my baby (Alexander) at 30 weeks. I think I figured it took me so long to get pregnant, so many disappointments, waiting, then thinking it could never happen (pregnancy) that I didn't think it could get that much worse for me, but indeed it did.

Now if I ever get pregnant again, I will probably feel I will lose the baby, but it may or may not be based on reality, just past experience and self-protection. But how do you separate a "healthy fear" from reality? I fear that I might even attract the very thing I don't want as in LOA in a negative way.


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## rach03 (Dec 30, 2006)

Well, I just had a miscarriage this Tuesday. By dates I was almost 12 weeks, but the baby didn't make it much past 9 weeks. Even though we saw a very strong heartbeat and a healthy little baby at my 9 week ultrasound, I still didn't feel that everything was right with this pregnancy. We made Valentine announcements and sent them out after seeing the heartbeat, but I just had this feeling that I shouldn't send them out. We did anyway...and ended up having to make a lot of sad phone calls this week.

My doctor said I was taking it very well, and I told her it was just because I knew...it wasn't a shock to me. I knew the pregnancy wasn't going to end well.


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## SamuraiMom (Nov 7, 2006)

Boysmom2, I am so sorry for your loss. This past m/c was my 2nd in 2 years. I want so much to get preg again, but there is a small part of me that fears the worst, getting though the first 5 months will be the hardest.



> I guess I'm in the minority that "had no idea" before I lost my baby (Alexander) at 30 weeks. I think I figured it took me so long to get pregnant, so many disappointments, waiting, then thinking it could never happen (pregnancy) that I didn't think it could get that much worse for me, but indeed it did[/QUOTE
> 
> I'm sorry, I wish I had real hugs to send to all the women here who have lost their little ones to m/c. My first m/c was my very first pregnancy 9 years ago. I had no idea, even when I had started spotting at 6 weeks, I was too elated to believe that anything could be wrong. I'd like to believe that now I know the difference between "rational fear" and a deeper sense of knowing, however, the next time I am pg, I will be "looking" for it , or rather waiting for it, ya know? Which will lead to anxiety which will lead to heart palps, and then high blood pressure...
> 
> ...


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## barose (Dec 6, 2006)

Rach, I'm so sorry you're going through this again


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## WaturMama (Oct 6, 2006)

I think this is an important and fascinating thread and I want to add to it.

With both pregnancies I felt a sensation around my left ovary at the time of ovulation. With this one (the one that didn't make it), I could feel the energy in the area of my left ovary, moving towards my uterus for the first couple weeks. I began to get a sense of a spirit. It had certain traits, including femininity, though I don't think that necessarily meant it would be a girl. It is very hard to put into words but I had a very distinct sense of the baby's spirit, like the root of a personality or an essence.

I would particularly tune in with it at nighttime. After my dh and ds were asleep it was like my time with the new one. I would feel especially tuned in when I put my hands on my lower abdomen.

One night at about 8.5 weeks pregnant I went to do that and I clearly noticed a shift. The spirit didn't seem to be there. This went on a couple nights and I was starting to feel worried, so I called my midwife. She told me that she'd heard other women say the spirit seemed stronger at the beginning of pregnancy and in a few days we could listen for the heartbeat with the doppler if that would help. Both these things were very comforting and I felt a lot less worried. I opted to do the doppler at 9w3d, which she said was the very beginning of when we might hear it. She didn't hear anything for sure, but both she and the assistant thought they might have heard something. Meanwhile I was starting to show, my pg symptoms were on strong and I wasn't as worried. She offered to try the doppler again, but we had the u/s coming up for the nuchal fold test, so we decided to wait.

At that u/s (11w3d) we learned I had basically an empty gestational sac.





















The doctor said if there had been an embryo it had been very small. He said the gestational sac had stopped growing at 8.5 weeks--exactly when I stopped feeling the spirit.

Now...was I picking up on some unconscious physical clue that the growth had stopped? Did a spirit try to get going there and gave up at 8.5 weeks? Did my pregnancy allow a spirit to come be with me for the time it needed? I don't know. I have the *sense* that I was mama to a spirit for that period of time, and I did it some good. Maybe it will come back a little more loved up. I don't know. My sense is that us mamas of miscarried ones and still born ones and short-lived little dear ones are playing an important role in the unseen, unknown spirit part of life. Difficult as all this has been, I am grateful to get to participate in life and to have had the time I had with that dear baby spirit.


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## kerilynn (Sep 9, 2005)

I experienced some of the same things as the pp's

When I found out, it was very surreal ... with my first, I called and told everyone the day I POAS
This time, it didn't feel right to tell people, and I didn't even tell my mom for a week.
I kept having dreams and feeling that things weren't right
When I never developed m/s, I mentioned to a few people that it was weird because with DS, I was very sick. I had gained 7 lbs in 7 weeks, and then plateaued.
The day of the ultrasound I mentioned to the doc that I was nervous about what we would see because all of my symptoms seemed to have disappeared, and I had begun to lose weight, albeit only a few ounces.
She tried to reassure me that "all pregnancies are different" but there was nothing else to say once we saw the baby with no heartbeat at 9.5 weeks, measuring 8 weeks 3 days.


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## coleslaw (Nov 11, 2002)

I knew for both of my losses, but I chalked all the emotions up to something else. For my m/c, I had been trying for quite sometime, so I was elated with my BFP. Two days later, my cat was hit by a car and I was devestated. After that, the words m/c kept flashing though my head like a neon sign. The baby died about 8-9 weeks and I m/c at 11+weeks. I had a very strong sense that he was a boy, but I don't know by fact.

For my 2nd daughter, I could never picture her with us. I chalked that up to worrying about m/c from my previous experience and the spotting I had in the 1st trimester. She was a quiet baby, never really kicked much, just rolled. I never felt a true sense of connection. When I heard her heartbeat for the last time at 37 weeks, it didn't sound right, but the midwife didn't say anything, so I thought it was just my imagination. This happened with an u/s and the doppler. She probably died the next day from a cord accident. To say I regret not listening to that intuition is an understatement.


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## ChristSavesAll (Mar 27, 2008)

It's been over a year since the last post on this thread but I wanted to add to the thought of a mind and body connection. I was so stoked to be preggo the second time around and even more excited as it was the first pregnancy in our marriage. I had no reason to expect anything to go wrong and really didn't. However, a few weeks before finding out we had lost Hosanna (was around 3 months but she stopped growing at 6 weeks and could no longer be found on the ultrasound only the sac), my mother and I were at the Christian book store and I picked up a copy of a book on the loss of a child. I remember telling my mom "God forbid it should happen, but just in case" that is soo not me to think the worst but in retrospect I just knew but put it in the back of my mind. My husband took it really hard and I did fine until he was better then my emotions crashed and burned, it was 6 months until I finally started to heal and began trying again a couple days after what would've been her birthday.

A young lady I met at church last friday told me about her loss a year ago, her baby was stillborn and a couple days before going into labor she was very depressed the whole day, even her dh noticed and later that night she was throwing up uncontrollably.

I find it interesting the connection we have though we might not always realize it.


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## Erikajo (Apr 30, 2006)

Wow, what an interesting thread. It's amazing how intuitive we can be.

When I first got pregnant with our angel, from the beginning it just didn't see real to me. I found it hard to connect with the pregnancy and even got upset with my DH when he went and told practically everyone we knew. A few days after finding out I was pregnant, I had several times of uncontrollable crying where I was so afraid and I just had this awful feeling that something was wrong. I vividly remember walking into my kitchen one day and saying out loud to myself "Something is wrong. I just have this bad feeling." I had no logical reason to think so - I've never had any issues before with being pregnant, but this time I just couldn't shake that feeling. I miscarried at 5 weeks 1 day.


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## catballou24 (Mar 18, 2003)

my miscarriage in april, i knew from the beginning that something was not right and felt like i was forcing myself to be happy about it. our little angel stopped growing at 6 weeks and i miscarried at 9 weeks. this time, i started having some crazy sadness and crying issues just last week. part of me was scared that something was wrong, but i didn't want to go there. i was already nervous because of the m/c in april, but we were starting to really plan as we'd passed the scary point and had seen the baby at 7 weeks. 2 days ago i woke up to bleeding that progressively got worse. the cramping is going on now. i haven't gotten an u/s and unless things get complicated i won't be doing that. it's pretty obvious what is happening and i firmly believe my baby passed away a little over a week ago when i started feeling sad. i don't know why we have lost 2 in a row in less than a year....i have 3 very healthy children, so this doesn't make sense to me. i am healthier now than i was in my 20's. but it has happened and i really felt like i knew when it did...







i'm very connected to my children on a spiritual level, so i believe these babies will stay with me.


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## QueenOfTheMeadow (Mar 25, 2005)

I was about 16 weeks along when I found out I had lost the baby. I remember feeling really sick on Sunday, feeling a little flutter in my uterus and very clearly thinking, 'that's it. She's gone.' And then pulling myself back angrily from that thought and telling myself not to think such a thing. On wed. we went to my appointment, and I insisted that dh come with me. When I saw that totally silent still u/s after not being able to get a heartbeat, I knew it was over. When the tech said it looked like it have been 3 or 4 days, I knew my thoughts had been real. It was confirmed she was a girl from genetic testing too.


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## MotherMama (Mar 31, 2008)

With my first loss I felt fine for the first 10 weeks, at the time I very much started to worry. I stopped having the crazy pregnant dreams that I usually do and my breasts didn't hurt anymore. Logic would tell a person that it's because I was nearing the second trimester and symptoms get better, but in a way I just knew it was not good. I was having no no symptoms of m/c, everything seemed fine when I went into the Dr. for an u/s at 13.5 weeks. I remember before the u/s began telling myself in my head to prepare for the worst news I'll ever receive. That was weird.

This current loss (I say current because the baby has died but not passed) I had no clue. I was 100% excitement and certainty this would end in a full term birth.


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