# not-so-great mommy day-confess here-say what's *really* on ur mind



## neveryoumindthere (Mar 21, 2003)

i just was NOT in the mood to redirect today!







:
GRRRRR just *STOP ALREADY* !!!!! YKWIM??

i dont feel thinking of smthg else for you to play with, all i know is i want you to GET AWAY FROM THE SEWING MACHINE AND THE PINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE ONLY REASON IT'S EVEN THERE IS BECAUSE YOU FREAK OUT AFTER WAKING UP FROM YOUR *"SO-CALLED"* NAP AND I CANT HEAR YOU FROM THE BASEMENT WHERE THE SEWING MACHINE BELONGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !

STTTTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPP STICKING YOUR HANDS IN THE BOWL OF SPAGHETTI PLZZZZZZZZZZZZ--I AM FEEDING YOU AS WE SPEAK SO WHHHHHHHHYYYYYYY MUST YOU SQUISH YOUR HAND IN THE PLATE AND WIPE IT ON THE CARPET!














:









GO. TO. SLEEP.
and QUIT screaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiingggggggggggggg i have NO idea where you get that from









done.

edited to add: i posted this in the wrong forum since this is obviously not the
best way to handle these issues...maybe TAO?


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## uberwench (Jul 25, 2003)

OOh, good idea!

Just because I'm SITTING DOWN does NOT mean the mommy food light is ON!!!! I can hug, i can cuddle, i can read to you, i have many other functions! - mommy is not just a pair of mammaries!!!!!!

Just because you hear the word ICE CREAM does NOT mean we automatically must have ICE CREAM!!!!

NOOOOO, I do not want to go "THIS WAAAAAAYYYYYYy!" NOOOOOO! I don't want to "TRY AGAIN!!!!!" No i don't want to sit "DOWN HERE!!!!!!"

No no no no no no!!!!!!!!!

whew.


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## pamelamama (Dec 12, 2002)

stop

Pinching

My

Nipple


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## pixie-n-hertwoboys (Aug 17, 2003)

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASR STOP PRETENDING THE PLASTIC FORK IS A LIGHT SABER.... NO YOUR BABY BROTHER IS NOT A ROBOT FROM THE DARK SIDE

PLEASE GET YOUR HANDS OUT OF YOUR DIAPER

NO CRAYONS ARE NOT TO EAT

OR SHOVING UP YOUR NOSE

OR DOWN YOUR DIAPERS EITHER

OH FOR THE LOVE OF PETE ITS NOT A GOOD IDEA TO USE A STRAW FOR A LIGHT SABER EITHER

NO IT IS MY BEER. I REPEAT MINE. AS IN MOMMIES NOT YOURS AND NO YOU MAY NOT HAVE A DRINK.

can you see the theme here? :LOL

all this was said in the last 5 minutes!


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## captain optimism (Jan 2, 2003)

Okay sweetie, sweetie, stop biting me. Stop. Okay, honey, stop biting my arm. Sweetie, could you stop biting my arm please. Sweetie, it's time to learn to say the word "nurse." Say nurse please. Stop biting me.

Okay, stop pinching the skin between my armpit and my breast. Here, have the nursing necklace instead. Here's a toy instead.

Honey, we don't bite. Would you like something to eat? Would you like to bite this piece of bread instead of mommy's arm? Honey, I'm going to detach you from my arm now.

%@Q$#[email protected]! Stop [email protected]#%^$ biting me already!


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## cozymama (Apr 27, 2004)

"sweetpotato, mama loves that you are a little cirque-de-soilel-acrobatic-nursling but when you roll off the couch and onto the floor could you maybe let go of my nipple first?"


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## dynamicdoula (Jun 11, 2004)

PLEASE stop digging under me to play with the nipple that's pressed against the mattress!!!

Please stop pinching your brother's penis in the bathtub!!!!

Stop making your brother scream when I'm on the phone!

Screaming at your brother and chasing him around the house is not going to make him want to give you that toy!!

Ketchup does NOT go with everything!!!!

I love your hugs but do you have to tackle me???


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## mogit (May 4, 2004)

What is Mama doing? THE SAME THING I WAS DOING THE LAST 867 TIMES YOU ASKED!!!

Why? why? why? BECAUSE I SAID SO, THAT'S WHY!

You don't want me to change your poopy diaper? THEN__START__USING__THE POTTY.

There, now I feel better


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## AllyRae (Dec 10, 2003)

Now that you've learn to crawl, why oh WHY are the electrical cords, books, anything that's mommy seem more interesting to you than your toys?

PLEASE stop pinching my nummy....it's hard to feed you when you're making me HURT!!!

Speaking of feeding, you'd get a lot more if you'd stay ON instead of popping off 200000000000000000000000000000000000000000 times a minute.

You REALLY don't need to scream if I walk 2 feet away from you. I haven't forgotten you, honest.

Nights are for sleeping, not for pulling my hair. And when we're on that topic, could you PLEASE wake me up with a kiss instead of jabbing out my eyeballs, sticking your finger up my nose, or trying to force your pacifier into my mouth in an effort to get me to open my eyes and feed you.

But, you are really cute and I love you baby boy....


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## flight (Feb 3, 2004)

: I am laughing so hard tears are running down my cheeks! I'm not trying to take joy in your pain, it's just that it's SO true!

Just because the sun is up, it doesn't mean it's daytime and it doesn't mean we have to get up.

Why is it that when I'm on the phone or in the bathroom you suddenly need to talk to me?

Don't open the fridge, just tell me what you want to drink.

If you're going to make these egg cartons/cardboard boxes/pieces of paper into something, would you do it already?

Get out of my face, I am trying to eat lunch. Yours is on your plate.

No, you may not have a Jolly Rancher for lunch.

No, we are not going to build you a go-kart with gull-wing doors.

Or a fuel-cell engine.

Or a radio.

Would you stop talking about the damn go-kart! It is going to be wooden and you are gonna steer it with a friggin piece of rope!


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## sweetest (May 6, 2004)

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Thanks - I needed that!!


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## *Erin* (Mar 18, 2002)

just please, please please in the name of all that's holy, please please please

GO

TO

SLEEP

and stay asleep. without waking up every hour wanting to nurse. please
just one night. fall asleep fast and easy. without beating me up and nursing me to death and needing to hear eleventyhundredthousand bedtime stories.

oh please. please.


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## Colorful~Mama (Feb 20, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **Erin**
just please, please please in the name of all that's holy, please please please

GO

TO

SLEEP

and stay asleep. without waking up every hour wanting to nurse. please
just one night. fall asleep fast and easy. without beating me up and nursing me to death and needing to hear eleventyhundredthousand bedtime stories.

oh please. please.

i am so right there with you.
and other then that?

oh please... stop talking. you're 4. i understand. but just lets have ten minutes of SILENCE so i can TRY to get your brother TO SLEEP.

and i'll also add
No, i don't think elijah wood is hot. he's a little boy in my world. get off the freaking phone, give me back the internet and go fantasize your teenage fantasies away from my desk!!!

thank you. i needed that

can i also say "dh. CLEAN UP THE FREAKING CARPORT"

thank you


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## jessikate (Jul 19, 2002)

Stop grabbing the cats! They don't like you to grab their tails, their ears, their whiskers, or the fur on their backs. Why you haven't been clawed or bitten is beyond me, but it's going to happen one of these times.

I am happy to nurse you anytime you ask, but please stay latched on for more than ten seconds before you run off to harrass the cats again.

Can you please start sleeping? A nice nap during the day and a good long stretch of oh, more than an hour or so at a time at night would help us both be less cranky.

Grr.


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## RomansMamma (Nov 20, 2001)

:

STOP pushing your brother with your body!!!! He's only been walking for two weeks.









LEAVE HIM ALONE!









GET OFF HIM!









SIT ON THE COUCH!









STOP pushing your brother with your body!!!! He's only been walking for two weeks.









LEAVE HIM ALONE!









GET OFF HIM!









SIT ON THE COUCH!









STOP pushing your brother with your body!!!! He's only been walking for two weeks.









LEAVE HIM ALONE!









GET OFF HIM!









SIT ON THE COUCH!









STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!
















And what I said was "Playdoh?" "Outside?" "Snack?"

Oh, and my personal favorite: "DAMMIT! LET ME SLEEP FOR MORE THAN 3.5 HOURS PLEASE!!!! IT'S BEEN OVER 4 YEARS!


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## sincitymama (Sep 20, 2003)

Ok, I know you're not even 7 months old yet and you need your mama. Babies need their mommies. I understand that, I really do.

You will survive 6 minutes in the pack and play while mommy showers. Really you will.
You love peek-a-boo any other time of night or day. Why isn't it fun when it's a shower curtain instead of a blanket?
I promise, you will be much happier with a non-stinky greasy mama.

You can crawl. That's fantastic. Look at you go! You can pull up on things and stand up at the coffee table! Incredible!

You can't crawl, pull up, and explore AND be held at the same time. You have to pick one. Scream to be held or scream to be put down. But for the love of all that is holy PICK ONE!!!

We don't eat the cat. No, not his ears. Not even his tail, no. Just because we have the dumbest cat on earth who rubs against you and plops down for attention does not mean we should JUMP on his BELLY! He has important organs in there! No, his skin is quite attached to him.

Nurse. Or don't. Please don't latch on then offthenonthenoffonoffonoff billions of times in one minute. Are you hungry? Yes? No? Yesnoyesnoyesno AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!! !!!!!!!!!!!!

I know you're just a baby. But can't you, like, go on a long weekend vacation or something? Not forever, just a little break. Drive yourself to disney! You'd have so much fun! And I'd be a much better mommy after lots of night sleep and a long hot shower ALL BY MYSELF and lots of naps and eating with two hands while it's hot.
Just a couple days!

Hmmm. More stressed than I realized. Will have to speak to dh about getting out alone for an hour or so.


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

uuuurrrghhhh, you may eat string cheese. And you may nurse. YOU CANNOT DO THEM AT THE SAME TIME!!!!

Ok I don't know where you learned that but fingers in the nose are not funny regardless of who laughs.

Get back in bed. get back in bed. get back in bed.Get back in bed. get back in bed. get back in bed.Get back in bed. get back in bed. get back in bed.Get back in bed. get back in bed. get back in bed.Get back in bed. get back in bed. get back in bed.Get back in bed. get back in bed. get back in bed.

what smells in here?

where is my phone? can you here the phone? Dads gonna freak if we lost the phone. where is that phone. Oh no it couldn't be there.







: how are we gonna get the smell off? Stop putting everything in the garbage. THAT IS NOT WHERE IT GOES. WE HAVE PLENTY OF GARBAGE ON THE FLOOR. PUT THAT IN THE GARBAGE. PHONE ARE NOT FOR BABIES OR GARBAGES.


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## indiegirl (Apr 15, 2002)

_(lights come up on a messy bedroom. It is 8 pm. Two children are screaming. One child, the younger girl, is standing by the baby gate. Her onesie is down around her tummy, her overalls lay in a heap in the corner. She has a large welt on her shoulder.)

enter Mother. She is very pregnant and none too happy she was forced to climb the stairs in response to the screaming. Her brow is moist with sweat. She looks into the room and at her children who both stop screaming for an instant. The older daughter has a large red bucket over her head and is about to hit her sister with it.

She gives *the look* to the older daughter who promotly drops the bucket and starts crying about her "hurt" finger.

The younger child resumes her wailing protest. The older child echoes in a dischordant scream._

Mother: WHAT did you do to your sister?
_(screaming)_
Mother: Did you hurt your sister?
Older child: Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Mother: Oh, that makes me very sad. Please help her and show me that you can be gentle.

_Older child goes to younger child and gives her a kiss. Younger child pushes her away and screams._

Mother: It is time for bed.
Older child: No bed. No want bed.
Mother: Sorry, I want it to be bedtime. Please go potty in mama's bathroom.
Older child: No want it mamas bathroom.. Want other potty.
Mother: I'm sorry but you broke the other potty when you put too much toilet paper in it.
Older child: _(crying)_ IT'S BROKEN.
Mother: Yes, yes it is. We'll fix it.
Older child: Look mama, poop.

_Mother bends down and cleans up a wisp of poop off the floor and makes a mental note to find the rest of it._

Mother: Go. Potty. Now. Please.

_Older child stomps off to bathroom. Younger child fights the inevitable diaper and clothing change. Mother is really sweating now._

_Older child returns._

Older child: Mama, I want it WATER.
Mother: It's too late. I'm sorry.
Older child: I WANT IT WATER. I WANT IT BOOK. I NO WANT BED.
Mother: I love you, good night, girls.

Mother exits. Children are asleep before she reaches the door.


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## Stacymom (Jul 7, 2002)

Quote:

You don't want me to change your poopy diaper? THEN__START__USING__THE POTTY.








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There are literally tears coming out of my eyes. I can't tell you how many times I've thought this as we've struggle through yet another diaper change with dd whining about "no diaper" and "it hurts mommy, no diaper!" Of course, if we let her go naked, it last for about thirty seconds before she starts crying for me to put a diaper on her.

You are almost three years old. You stay dry all night every night, and stay dry for naps. You tell us every time you pee or poop and scream if your diaper isn't changed IMMEDIATELY. Isn't it time you just go to the stinkin' potty already?

And while we're on the subject of pottys...

Just because I am sitting down on the toilet does not mean you can both run in our teeny tiny bathroom to inspect what I am doing in the toilet, flush while I am still sitting there, pull all the toilet paper off the roll, look inside my underwear, hit my thighs, pull my pubic hair, or give a running commentary on what's going on. ("oooh, Mommy stinky!") We do wonderful stimulating things all day long- why is it that the most interesting moments of your day seems to come when Mom sits down on the toilet?!?








The phone ringing is not a signal for you both to scream as loud as you can, even if it is our realtor or our mortgage company, and you had been playing peacefully, together the instant before the phone rang.


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## CerridwenLorelei (Aug 28, 2002)

http://www.comics.com/comics/committ...-20040710.html

This strip will come in handy ...a few months ago there was one that was along the lines of the above poster with the plastic fork/light sabre /brother isn't a robot from dark side ( which btw made me bust a gut so hard the kids asked what was so funny)

and then there is this one

http://www.comics.com/comics/committ...-20040709.html


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## joesmom (Nov 19, 2001)

those are funny. it is 12:30 am here & to my 5 year old son i would like to say,

can we pleeeeeeaaaaase go to bed? your blue's clues video will still be here tomorrow. i know you are an artist but isn't it a wee bit late to have your digi-draw, markers, pencils, paper & GLUE STICKS strewn all over the living room? i thought we just picked that all up.

you just brushed your teeth, you may not have fruit snacks. or crackers. or juice. NO, you may NOT have cookies!

can we please
go
to
bed?!

there, i feel better, i love these threads!


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## insahmniak (Aug 16, 2003)

:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pamelamama*
stop

Pinching

My

Nipple


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## AllyRae (Dec 10, 2003)

If you want the stinkin' pacifier...STOP SPITTING IT OUT!!! Spitting it out and crying for it until I give it to you so you can spit it out again is not a fun game....

Neither is spitting it in a busy parking lot so I have to crawl under to car to fish it out....

Neither is spitting it in a mud puddle

Or the dog hair the dog shed on the floor

Or under the stove

Or under the bed

Ah for pete's sake, QUIT SPITTING IT OUT IF YOU WANT IT SO BAD!!!


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## WonderWild (May 13, 2004)

We cannot have the water hose running all day. The kiddie pool is too full as it is.

We have to go inside sometime. No I don't want to go to the door and go outside. No I don't want to put my shoes on. No I don't want you to put your shoes on. Put my car keys down. Leave my sunglasses alone.


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## Boadicea (Mar 28, 2004)

Oh man, I needed that laugh!

If all you want to do is turn the pages, I can't read to you. I CAN'T READ TO YOU IF ALL YOU WANT TO DO IS TURN THE PAGES! This is an either/or proposition here. Don't have a fit about me not reading if you're going to turn the pages before I can even see the words. And don't throw a fit about me holding the book and turning the pages myself if you want me to read to you!

Do NOT ask me for something to eat, then take two bites of it and ask me for something else, then take two bites of that and ask me for something else, then ... ad nauseum!

But most of all, JUST GO TO BED ALREADY! No more, "I want the blankey" and then when I pull the blanket up over you, you kick it off, and immediately start yelling "I want the BLANKEY". (Or substitute "I want my bear" or "I want my water".) We go through this twice (mama's limit) and then I tell you to pull the blanket up yourself, which results in a screaming, crying, kicking jag like you can't just pull up your own







blanket!

And dear little sister, please just NURSE and get on with it, please, oh please, oh please. Please stop scratching me, kneading my breast, pulling my hair, looking around (which requires moving your WHOLE BODY while still attached to MY NIPPLE), digging your feet into my thigh, flailing your arms and generally annoying me to no end while you attempt to eat.

And could I please take a shower just once without you waking up in the middle of it and screaming like your hair is on fire? You're sleeping so soundly, but the sound of the shower doors opening sure seems to be a direct invitation for you to wake up totally PISSED OFF.

Oh, and ditto EVERYTHING all the PP have said about pottys!


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## momoen1 (May 12, 2004)

You guys are cracking me up. These are too funny.

NO. Swimming in the pool does not count as a bath. Yes I have to wash your hair.

Please either nurse or not. If you crawl away then I assume you are done and I am going to close my bra and pull down my shirt. Please do not come back yelling at me, tugging at my shirt and then nurse for 2 seconds and crawl away because I am going to close my bra and pull down my shirt. Then come back yelling to nurse.

Please do not eat the dog food (spoken to both 4 yo and 10 mo), and why do insist on telling people that you eat dog food. (4 yo is quite proud of this apparently "it's good")

Please quit mooning me. I do not want to see your butt, and I don't think it's funny.

Mona
mama to Chase 4you and Haley 10mo


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## RubyV (Feb 4, 2004)

Dev, Murphy is not a chew toy.

NO, bilbo isn't either.

Dev, we are gentle to the doggies. PUlling out clumps of fur HURTS.

DEv, petting is nice. Bitting is not.

No, they don't want your toes in their noses.

No, bilbo, Dev doesn't need to share your chew toys. Thanks anyway.

Dev, I need to pee. I"ve been nursing you NONSTOP for the LAST 4 HOURS AND MY NIPPLEIS RAW DAMMIT!!! YOU ARE THEONLY 7 MO OLD IN CREATION WHO WANTS TO NURSE ALL DAMN DAY WHEN MOMMA IS HOME!!

Dev, it hurts daddy when you pull his armpit hair. Alot.

Dev, it hurts mommy when you pinch my nipple. And my breast. Repeatedly.

Dev, I haven't had more than 3 hours sleep since before you were born. I need it. Now.

Do you have to nurse all night long?

Dev, you can play alone for 5 min while I shower. Bilbo keeps sniffing my butt which means I need a bath. NOW.

DEv, it's midnight. I need to be up in 5 hours. please sleep.

DAMMIT! STOP TWIDDLING MY DAMN NIPPLE!! I DONT HAVE REPLACEMENTS!!!!! OOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW!!!

NO DEV!! DON'T TOUCH THE DOG'S BUTT!!!! ARRRRGH!!!


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## Mizelenius (Mar 22, 2003)

Oh, I so need this today.

I know you want a real baby. Mommy and Daddy are working on it.

No, you cannot hold your 3 month old cousin while sitting in the swimming pool. Yes, yes, I KNOW you want a real baby.

If you would just SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP, things would be better. I promise. I really, really do.

Ah, I gotta go . . .that helped, though!


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## guestmama9907 (Nov 24, 2003)

OMG LMAO Thank you so much mamas. So my life and my baby really are normal! I am not the only one!
















OUCH! Honey, it hurts when you grab mamas face. My nose is attached. Look sweetie, you made daddy's lip bleed. Your little nails are sharp and it hurts when you grab. STOOOOOP hurting meeeeeeee!

Earlier today DH says "Hey Shelly, Ruby just peed on the bathroom floor" as he is leaving the bathroom! Well FREAKIN clean it up then!!!







Why the HECK are you telling me about it!









Please Dear Lord, can I please just sleep on my belly for one hour tonight? Please? Why sweet girl do you need to nurse and be latched on ALL night long? 8am - DH can you please get up with her and give me one hour? You had all night. I just need one hour of no one touching me. PLEASE!!!! Get your







out of bed and give me some space!

Ruby honey, I don't buy the organic wheat free teething biscuits for







: , I get those for you. No honey, once Billy Jack licks it please dont eat it. Honey, Please stop sharing your food with the dog......







:


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## mountain (Dec 12, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lilyka*
uuuurrrghhhh, you may eat string cheese. And you may nurse. YOU CANNOT DO THEM AT THE SAME TIME!!!!









BTDT


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## fiikske (Jun 29, 2004)

Mommies, you're great!!!
Here's what tonight brought us:

1am. Ugh, so you need to go to the bathroom? Now? And you are awake? great! *yawn* Okay, let's go.

1am15. Should we perhaps go back to sleep? let's put on your diaper. No? What do you mean no?
1am20. Diaper?
1am25. Okay, now we can go to sleep? [Pssht, don't wake up daddy, no you don't have to tell the whole world that you're awake], okay, here's the nipple, feed, be still, and we can all peacefully fall asleep...
1am35. No sleep? why not? what did I do wrong? and why aren't you sleepy? at all?
.... etc... climbing in and out of bed...
3am. Pssshttt... sleep or I'll freak out.... finally... we sleep...

In the morning, no, mommy is not in a good mood for playing, for doing anything, mom's just not in the mood.......


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## girlndocs (Mar 12, 2004)

Nurse. Or don't nurse. It is NOT FUNNY to fiddle around just long enough to get a let down and then lose interest as soon as milk starts spraying everywhere!!!!!!!

OW OW OW OW!!! QUIT CLAWING MY FREAKIN FACE!!!!!!!

SLEEP FOR MORE THAN AN HOUR AT A TIME WOULD YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## HoneymoonBaby (Mar 31, 2004)

My breast is not your pacifier. Eat, or don't eat. But if you just want to suck and chew, please use your paci, particularly because it's 3 in the gosh darn morning!

Can you tell I had a rough night?

ETA: I don't know why you bite down HARD and turn your head back and forth at the end of every feed now, but please -- pretty please -- stop it. Ouch.


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## Mommy&Will (May 22, 2003)

Okay, I came into the computer room, closed the door and started bawling here... I'm so freaked out by my toddler.

Came to this forum to "fix" my problems and found this thread.

THANK YOU FOR THE LAUGHS! It just lightened my spirit! I SOOOO needed to laugh right now.

I may be able to continue on with my day now....


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## mamaley (Mar 18, 2002)

Pamalamama, AMEN!

I really needed this thread today.


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## mamaley (Mar 18, 2002)

to my baby:
my nipple: you can't take it with you.

to my son:
ok, tell me how i'm supposed to play trains with you, and play with the baby, and keep the baby out of the trains, while cleaning up the bathroom and cooking you a hot breakfast that you so desperately want???


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## Pam_and_Abigail (Dec 2, 2002)

I soooooo needed this!

"Do not hit! Do not bite!"
"The cupboard latch is there for a reason. It's great that you've discovered just how hard to yank the doors so they open anyway, but momma's tying them shut with these two scraps of ribbon she found, because the cat DOES NOT need any more crunchies."
"You can have a tempet tantrum, but please don't hit me."
"Do not throw hard things at mommy's face when you are mad"
"If you knew you needed to pee in time to take off your favourite pants so they wouldn't get wet, why not move 4 feet that way to one of the two potties!"
"If you would just pee in the potty, I could stop stepping on wet puddles on the carpet every few feet!!"

"Please don't climb on the table."
"Do not throw forks! DO not throw glass dishes!"
"No, the cat does not want to wear your purple sunglasses, but it's nice of you to share."
"If you're done nursing, please just pop off like you used to. Don't squeeze my nipple in your teeth and grin."

Hey, mine don't seem so bad compared to the others here. And I've been getting so depressed trying to handle my toddler, maybe I should be glad - it could be much worse! Like when there's another little one...


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## FireWithin (Apr 29, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lilhomegrownmama*
"sweetpotato, mama loves that you are a little cirque-de-soilel-acrobatic-nursling but when you roll off the couch and onto the floor could you maybe let go of my nipple first?"


That happens to us soo often. It hurts!!!


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## babybugmama (Apr 7, 2003)

Please don't eat the dog food...
Honey that's the dogs food, put it down...
Thank you (holding hand under mouth), partially digested blob of dog food falls into my hand.

Sweetie Petey leave the cat food alone..
Honey. Put. The. Cat. Food. DOWN.
do you want a snack? reply: nack!! get dd a snack...
Honey don't give your food to the dog, sweetie the cats don't want it either, dd eat.

Honey get out of the dog food bin, the dog has already had his breakfast.


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## birthmommom (Apr 25, 2004)

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i am dying here reading this, b/c all of this is so true.

WHY cant you play with your toys so i can make dinner! you play fine all by yourself all day why now!!!!!

you scream to come up scream to go down GD PICK ONE!!!!

I can not handle all this screaming!!!! SSSSTOOOPPPP SSSCCCRRREEEAMMMINNNGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LAY DOWN AND GO TO SLEEP!

stop kicking me!!!!! gotta love cosleeping!

just b/c the sun is up doenst mean we need to get up!

Will you ever sleep in?????!!!!!

Stop throwing things! you do not hit mommy! stop terroizing our cousin!

GO PLAY WITH YOUR TOYS!!!!! thats why we bought them!


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## jannan (Oct 30, 2002)

mommy , i want
mommy,i want
mommy,i want
mommy i want

jesus, i hear this 80 times a day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Goldiemom (Jun 1, 2004)

I needed the laughs on this page too. Mine will be a bit different since my ds is SN. But venting will probably make you all laugh, so hear goes....

Adam, keep your clothes on!
No, you can't take your shoes and socks off in the store
Adam, keep your clothes on!
Put your sister down, she can walk by herself
Adam keep your clothes on!
Get out of your sisters crib you are a big boy now
ADAM keep your clothes on!
Don't feed your sister food that has been on the floor
ADAM KEEP your clothes on!
Fine, play in the clothes basket with your sister, but don't cover her with so many clothes she can't move
ADAM KEEP YOUR clothes on!
No you can't sit behind me on the chair, there isn't enough room for both of us and I really don't want to sit on the floor
ADAM KEEP YOUR CLOTHES on!
If you must sit in my lap please don't try to shove your sister to the floor
ADAM KEEP YOUR CLOTHES ON!
Ok, it is time for bed.
Adam, take your clothes off!
No you can't have more water
Adam take your clothes off!
No, you can't sleep in your sisters bed with her
Adam take your clothes off!
No, don't hit Mommy when she helps you get your clothes off and puts you in bed.

I could go on and on and on, but I think you get the gist of it. I feel better and I am sure that some of you Mommies will be rolling.


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## griffin2004 (Sep 25, 2003)

Thank you all so much for your contributions. I needed this today more than ever.

Honey Babygirl, no matter how loud/long/late you wail, at our house the laws of physics will still apply. You cannot simultaneously:
--have me hold you AND not hold you
--throw your toy du jour at the wall AND have it in your hand every nanosecond of the day
--look down into the middle of the sprinkler to watch the water come out AND not get your face wet and water up your nose
--dump all the crackers on the floor but STILL have some on your tray to eat
--wrap a blanket around yourself so tightly it looks like a toga or a kimono AND still be able to run
--talk to Auntie on the phone WHILE clicking the hang-up button, and
--touch the seatbelt with your foot when you're in the carseat AND freak out at a jillion decibels because the seatbelt is touching your foot.

Kiddo, I didn't invent these laws so take your complaints up with someone else!


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