# overweight... will i be able to cosleep?



## AGierald (Sep 5, 2007)

this has me really worried... i keep reading that overweight people cant cosleep. DH and I are both overweight. He has sleep apnea, but i dont. Im also a very light sleeper, but i do move around a lot. my cats sleep in between us, and i think they were rolled on top of ONCE in the 5 years theyve invaded our bed, and that was YEARS ago...

i planned to use an arms reach for a while to get used to having the baby there, and then move him/her into bed with me when i get more comfy with it... but can i if im overweight?

i hope this isnt a stupid question, i've had this problem with irrational fears since i got pregnant (like when i was convinced that my doctor would make me get an amnio or CVS and i freaked out, lol)


----------



## Magali (Jun 8, 2007)

Well, me and my little guy don't co-sleep, but we do lots of naps together in bed and cuddling. I'm a little overweight myself and I have never given it a second thought!!!! I bet once you have your beautiful baby in your arms and get feeling comfortable everything will fall into place for you. I'm sure the co-sleeping mama's will have lots of good advice for you. Good luck!


----------



## astrophe27 (Aug 27, 2007)

Obese here... and coslept just fine.

A.


----------



## AbbieB (Mar 21, 2006)

Of course you can. I think it is important to know you and your other bed mates sleep habits and work around them, not look at some weight chart for when it's OK and when it's not.

For example DD and I are both overweight. I never even gave this a thought when we made the decision to co-sleep from birth. BUT DH is a very deep sleeper and often throws is extra pillows around the bed. So baby always slept on my side of the bed (me in the middle). That way the pillows went on me and not baby.

Oh...and the irrational fears...not so crazy as you think. It's just part of pregnancy! My big irrational fear was that I would drown baby in the bath tub. Like somehow I would be holding her and somehow not be able to keep her above the water







: . I knew it was irrational but there it was. Took about 6 moths of daily baths for it to fade away!


----------



## Enudely (Jul 2, 2005)

I think the co-sleeping guidelines are that you shouldn't co-sleep if you're obese. Sounds like there is one woman on this thread that did that safely just fine. If you're not obese, don't worry about it, if you are, consider a co-sleeper. Since you say you're a very light sleeper, I don't think it will be a problem. Your mama instincts will be raging.


----------



## Arwyn (Sep 9, 2004)

No need for a cosleeper, no matter how obese. Those regulations come from fatphobia, and the slightly higher risk of apnea in the obese. No sleep apnea or other sleep disorders, no problems (and those are problems regardless of someone's weight, so again, fatphobia).

So yes, yes you can cosleep, and only use a sidecar if you want to.


----------



## ~Megan~ (Nov 7, 2002)

The safety issues apply to grossly obese.

Dh and I are both overweight and never felt that cosleeping has been dangerous.


----------



## AGierald (Sep 5, 2007)

thanks ladies, i feel a lot better!!

i was starting to worry that I wouldnt be able to sleep with my baby! i guess DH is considered obese-- but please know i refuse to believe in BMI charts as someone who has a degree in nutrition, lol. DH would look gross and sickly if he was at a "healthy" bmi, seriously.

again, thank you!


----------



## SleepyMamaBear (Jun 5, 2005)

i am obese.
at 285lbs and 5foot5inches i am what most consider morbidly obese. at my heaviest i was 305.
and we have ALWAYS co-slept with our kids.
from day one.
its not like one of my rolls is just going to get up by itself and flop onto my baby. and i have never woken up in a panic thinking "wheres my baby/toddler?" and find them burried between my fat.







it just doesnt happen that way!
i am aware of my body, my WHOLE body even in my sleep. just like you would be aware if you were too close to the edge of the bed and might fall off. we still have nerves in our skin just like skinny people do.
if it somehow makes you feel safer, by all means use a sidecar or an inbed co-sleeper thing.
but you dont NEED to just because you are overweight.


----------



## Ammaarah (May 21, 2005)

I worried about this too, but I truly believe this co-sleeping guideline has its roots in fat-phobia. I am obese (although I don't like that word much







) and have always been acutely aware of my position in regard to my daughter. I don't use drugs or drink and I get a healthy amount of sleep. When my daughter was very tiny, we tried keeping her in a pack and play next to us but it was too far away. I moved her in bed with me and DH took the floor for a while gallantly. I kept her a little bit away from me until I trusted myself co-sleeping.

I think the guidelines are kinda goofy. Dr. Sears says the danger is from pendulous breasts and big fat rolls







: - give me a freakin' break, Dr. Sears. Others say the risk is from sleep apnea but many people with SA are not overweight or obese.

Try different ways of sleeping but don't feel you need to not co-sleep because you're a Lane Bryant shopper.


----------



## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

We were super-cautious because we have a pillowtop, so for the first couple of months DS and I slept on a futon on the floor. Then we got a crib and side-carred it when he started spreading out more. Now that he is more mobile, he starts the night in the crib while DH and I watch TV in the evening (we put the side up on the crib after he rolled out once), and then I bring him into bed when we go to bed. No problem WRT the obesity!


----------



## MilkTrance (Jul 21, 2007)

Don't worry about it. I am obese and co-sleep. It's not like being overweight reduces your sense of touch. I can definitely feel where my baby is at night. I can see where apnea may be a problem, but most people realise they have apnea and I view it as a separate issue from obesity.

I guess that being larger, you would do better in a larger bed, so that every member of the family has more room. My DH is a large (not fat) person and we definitely could use a bigger bed than a Queen. But it's not unsafe.


----------



## ewe+lamb (Jul 20, 2004)

My mother was told when she had us never to co-sleep because she had large breasts and would suffocate the baby - she followed the drs advice and now regrets it so much, I have her traits and so does my sister, we still co-sleep and when my parents have the opportunity - they co-sleep with our kids to make up for the time they lost with us. If you want to co-sleep then on you go and do it, breastfeeding mamas have the same sleeping patterns as their babies and therefore are far more aware of the baby next to them. Look up James McKenna's website or LLL for more help, support and advice.


----------



## AlexisT (May 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Arwyn* 
No need for a cosleeper, no matter how obese. Those regulations come from fatphobia, and the slightly higher risk of apnea in the obese. No sleep apnea or other sleep disorders, no problems (and those are problems regardless of someone's weight, so again, fatphobia).

So yes, yes you can cosleep, and only use a sidecar if you want to.

I would say (and I'm very overweight myself) that there is a certain amount of concern that's reasonable. If you are obese, it is crucial to have a firm, supportive mattress--more so than if you are small, because of the additional pressure on the surface. If there are any dips, or if things can roll towards you when you are lying down, then you need a new mattress.

However, with an appropriate mattress, co-sleeping is perfectly safe. (As long as you have no sleep disorders, yada yada yada). Although yes, you may well need a bigger bed









I'm not sure if it's fatphobia or the usual CYA, myself.


----------



## nighten (Oct 18, 2005)

It's my understanding that it's morbidly obese to the point of not being fully aware or able to control all of your body. And that's very extreme.

Other than that, as long as there's no problems with medications or what have you, I think it's fine. I've known overweight women who co-slept just fine. Matter of fact, one made a comment about skinny mamas not being cushy enough to co-sleep comfortably.









I'm a skinny mama, but it made me laugh.

Good luck, Mama! I'm sure it'll be fine.


----------



## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Megan~* 
The safety issues apply to grossly obese.

Dh and I are both overweight and never felt that cosleeping has been dangerous.

I was officially morbidly obese for ages.







: Now I think I'm downgraded to obese or severely obese. Gotta love the flattering medical terms.

Anyway, I have coslept with my daughter since her birth and she is still very much alive.







I put her on a firm pillow next to me in bed for the first several months, which I know is apparently a no-no, but hey it worked for us. I found that on my mattress she would kind of roll toward me, and also a pillow was easier for nursing coz I could just lay on my side and nurse with my top breast.

But there is no way I was ever that out of it or unaware of my body that I would roll on her. How ridiculous! ITA with Adina that there is a whole lot of fatphobia and co-sleeping-phobia behind those silly recs.


----------



## astrophe27 (Aug 27, 2007)

Well... to expand (now that I'm not in a rush like I was in my previous post...)

I am a light sleeper. I am technically "obese" going by clinical terms. I've never had a problem.

After my emergency C-section, she slept beside me and DH in a co-sleeper. I kept my hand in it while sleeping so I'd wake if she started rootling around. I did not use a swaddling sheet -- I just dressed her warm. She hated being swaddled. When she woke, I'd wake DH to fetch her out for me to nurse.

After I healed, I dressed me for warmth, put up the cosleeper and skipped the sheets on me to avoid tangling problems. I also kept her (when small) more up by my head and thus closer to my hearing. But I wanted her in the bed to make night nursing easier. I could just give her the boob and zonk back out.

At this point DH worried he'd squish her or forget because he sleeps like a log and is hard to rouse. This caused him anxiety to the point where he couldn't sleep at ALL. So we did not cosleep with him after I was healed. Just me and baby in the other room's bed.

So long as you aren't taking medication that puts you out or have some kind of medical issue (liek sleep apnea and you have to wear your gear) I don't see why cosleeping would be a problem if it something you want to do.

GL!
A.


----------



## Devaskyla (Oct 5, 2003)

I believe I would fall under 'morbidly obese' (lovely words that are sure to make me feel good about myself). I've co-slept with both my boys and they're here to tell the tale. lol About the only thing that's ever happened is sometimes I wake up and find a little arm or leg under the edge of my stomach or breast (probably *why* I wake up, come to think of it) but it's obviously not bothering them at all. I've never even remotely come close to rolling on either of them. On the other hand, my oldest routinely rolls onto me and his father.


----------



## *Aimee* (Jan 8, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AddysMama* 
i am obese.
at 285lbs and 5foot5inches i am what most consider morbidly obese. at my heaviest i was 305.
and we have ALWAYS co-slept with our kids.
from day one.
its not like one of my rolls is just going to get up by itself and flop onto my baby. and i have never woken up in a panic thinking "wheres my baby/toddler?" and find them burried between my fat.







it just doesnt happen that way!
i am aware of my body, my WHOLE body even in my sleep. just like you would be aware if you were too close to the edge of the bed and might fall off. we still have nerves in our skin just like skinny people do.
if it somehow makes you feel safer, by all means use a sidecar or an inbed co-sleeper thing.
but you dont NEED to just because you are overweight.

This is me word for word, stat for stat!! Sleep with that baby, Mama!


----------



## helkat (Jan 10, 2005)

We have always co-slept and both DH and I are overweight.

For the first few months with both children, I used an airflow sleep positioner...I think you would definitely feel if you rolled onto that, but it doesn't inhibit snuggling or nursing.

Never had any problems


----------



## Arwyn (Sep 9, 2004)

Yea, I've known people with bipaps or cpaps who coslept just fine. it's untreated sleep apnea that's a problem. one would ahve to be careful with th e cords, of course.


----------



## ~PurityLake~ (Jul 31, 2005)

Well, I'm overweight, obese even, and I've never rolled on either of my daughters.
My husband, who is not overweight, once rolled from his side, onto his back, when A was sleeping between us. I woke from a dead sleep and put my hand against his back, and with my other arm, scooped A closer to me.
Mother's instinct is a powerful thing.
We also have a pillowtop mattress, purchased new when I was 8 months pregnant with A, and lots of pillows.


----------



## Arwyn (Sep 9, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thismama* 
ITA with Adina

You sure about that?









(<--- not Adina)


----------



## MommytoTwo (Jun 20, 2004)

thats absurd. there is no reason you cant.whats the concern? DH has a cpap and we cosleep just fine, fat and all.







:


----------



## captain crunchy (Mar 29, 2005)

That is the silliest thing I have ever heard. Just another predjudice toward us statuesque ladies







:

I am pretty overweight... dare I say... *obese* (big word for a big gal







)

We have slept with dd since day one. We slept in a recliner in the very early stages due to my paranoia of a non-fat nature







but she has always been fine!

Don't worry about it!!! Sleep with your babe!


----------



## hannybanany (Jun 3, 2006)

Another overweight mama who has co-slept from day one.


----------



## GoddessKristie (Oct 31, 2006)

I am Obese and DH is a very tall very broad shouldered man. We co-slept in a queen size bed and had no problems at all. I would wake up with EVERY movement DS made and DH was the same way. He didn't get much sleep the first couple weeks because he was afraid of rolling onto the baby, but neither of us ever did. I've also heard that if you have large "pendular" breasts not to co-sleep but I wear an H cup and they've never been a problem either.
Sleep with your baby, you'll love it!


----------

