# R U aggravated when people give your child a nickname?



## 2pinks (Dec 20, 2007)

I got into a small squabble with my cousin the other night over her wanting to call my younger dd a nickname that neither me, dh, or even her older sister like.

My MOTHER tried calling her this very same nickname when she was first born and I told her not to call her that and gave her the reasons why.

Anyway, does it bother you when people, be it family or friends, give your child a nickname, especially without asking?

Do you correct them on it?


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## Sierra (Nov 19, 2001)

It depends, but under certain circumstances, yes. I would be especially annoyed if it was a nickname I really didn't like, and I told someone that, but they insisted on using it anyway...that is presuming my child was young enough not to have a preference him/herself.

Not a nickname issue, but some people in my dw's family call my dfd a name that is close to her name, but a different name nonetheless (albeit more common). It is not older, forgetful people. Some of dfd's older (teenage and young adult) cousins do it, and even folks in dw's brother's family, who we stayed with for a couple of months during a cross-country move! We have never called her anything but her name, so I don't know why people can't get her actual name hammered through their heads.

That drives me nutty, so I can understand where you are coming from. A name is so personal, and especially since most people put a lot of thought into naming their kids, it makes sense that you wouldn't want someone "renaming" your child something else that you are not at all fond of.


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## Momily (Feb 15, 2007)

My DS has a beautiful, long, very common name that I love. Let's say it's Alexander (it isn't but I don't call my kid by name online). When he came home I really wanted to call him the whole thing, but I knew my family would shorten it 'cause they shorten everything. So, I tried calling him a nickname hoping it would "stick". Let's say Sasha. My mom didn't like Sasha, so she called him Alex. I was OK with Alex (liked Sasha better, but I liked Alex too. I don't think I would have picked a name where I hated the most common nickname 'cause I knew that's what my family would call him) so I didn't say anything, but ended up dropping Sasha and going back to calling him Alexander all the time.

When he was 2 he was in preschool with another Alexander and so they were Alex and Al. I really don't like Al (not the kid, I like the kid). Once school was calling him Alex, he started identifying himself that way pretty consistently.

After that we started meeting a few people who wanted to call DS Al, and that annoyed me. Partially because I felt like it's one thing for my mom who is a big part of his life to come up with a nickname, it's another for a relative stranger to do so, and partially because like I said I don't like the name Al (please keep in mind that NONE of these are the actual names, so if your kid is named Alex, or Sasha or Al don't be offended), so I'd just say "he's probably confused because we only call him Alex or Alexander, from his point of view Al is someone entirely different", and usually they'd stop.

By the time he was in 1st grade he told the teacher he wanted Alex and not Alexander on the walls, cubby, etc . . . and I gave up. I probably call him Alexander 25% of the time and Alex the rest of the time, and when I think of him it's always always Alex.

OK, so the answer to your question is "sometimes". Not sure why I thought you needed so much detail.


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## caylamac (Jan 18, 2009)

it bothers me more that my MIL calls my DD by the nickname IIIIII GAVE HER. Each mom and dad has thier special nick name yah know, and I HATE the fact that my MIL calls her by MY nickname I gave her. Ugh.. amke up your own yah know..


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## Aliviasmom (Jul 24, 2006)

It really, truely depends.

For instance, one of Alivia's nicknames is Ia (ee-uh) from when she was first in daycare at 1 and no one could say her name. So my mom and I still call her Ia, and variants like Ia-Bia. But then there's this one friend of mine...who INSISTS on calling her Ia allllll the time. It drives me batty as she doesn't really know why that nickname is around. It's like a semi-distant friend calls your child a love name you have for them like "Pumpkin."

I really don't mind kids her age calling her something different if they can't pronounce her name. Like Ia or La or whatever. In fact, Alivia has a friend named MaKayla that she just can't say (they also have a mutual friend named McKenzie...that EVERYONE calls Kenzie), so she calls her Kayla. MaKayla's mom is NOT happy with this nickname, but I can NOT get Alivia to realize/understand this.

However, other than young kids, I CAN NOT STAND people who don't know her well calling her nicknames. Especially when it's a nickname I don't like. I initially planned on her nickname being Livi, but she's more of a Liv than a Livi. However, my FAVORITE nickname for her is The Livster or The Livsters. Only recently has my mom called her this. Otherwise, this is MY nickname for her. Like, if you came over and met us, and started calling her The Livster, I would be IRATE.

So, in short, I totally feel your pain!


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## Justmee (Jun 6, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2pinks* 
I got into a small squabble with my cousin the other night over her wanting to call my younger dd a nickname that neither me, dh, or even her older sister like.

My MOTHER tried calling her this very same nickname when she was first born and I told her not to call her that and gave her the reasons why.

Anyway, does it bother you when people, be it family or friends, give your child a nickname, especially without asking?

Do you correct them on it?

Yes it bothers me and yes I correct them. My parents keep calling hte baby Avi and I keep correcting. WE call him Avraham Tzvi thank you very much. Our kid, our name. They have been here for a week now and finally my dad called him by his name this morning. Small progress. We'll see how long it lasts.


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## Lisa1970 (Jan 18, 2009)

I hate it. I named my child, that is my priviledge.


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## HollyBearsMom (May 13, 2002)

Nope it doesn't bother me unless it is offensive/insulting.

I think nicknames are a sign of affection. My mom had a nickname for my son and she always said it in a really sweet way. Now that she is gone I miss hearing it.


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## ashleyhaugh (Jun 23, 2005)

its slightly annoying, but i try not to let it bother me too much. my ds is tristan, and my mom likes to call him triscuit







:


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## Seasons (Jun 10, 2004)

Yes and no.

Yes, it's annoying and disrespectful.

BUT it's also a great opportunity for DD to practice our family values, of speaking up and setting boundaries. Because she's a girl (!!!) strangers constantly call her "princess," and she quickly corrects them: I'm a GODDESS, and my name is ___!" That's my daughter!







:


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## MommaCrystal (May 25, 2006)

It bugs me a bit but I try to let it go. I tried VERY hard to pick names that there are no nicknames for and couldn't really be sensibly shortened. Noah turned out fine. No issues there. But my mom likes to call my second son Ez. His name is EZRA! I don't like Ez. It is wierd. But she does it occassionally not constantly so I let it go.

Of course, she and my entire family hated the name Ezra to begin with so what ever!


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## Momily (Feb 15, 2007)

Momma Crystal,

Can I just add that I love the name Ezra, it's definitely one of my current favorites.


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## Super Glue Mommy (Jan 4, 2009)

yes, it bothers me, but no I never say anything about it. IDK why I dont speak up..


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## MCR (Nov 20, 2001)

I bothers me too.
My friends Dh insists on calling my middle son Al (this name does not have good memories for me) I have asked him not to use it, his name is Alexander (for real) and theres plenty of other short version, please not Al, he still does it








Dd got Jenny a couple of times, also the only shortened name of hers I don't like, sounds like a pet. I don't mind Jenn or Jennifer whatever, but please no Jenny, luckily they listened on that and call her sweet pea








I had different names from different family mambers.
Grandma called me Flossy (not even close to my real name), Mom and Dad called me by the correct given name, BIL shortened it to a name I love, pity it never stuck from anyone else. Other than those I was Titch, half pint, shorty.
Can you tell I'm small







:


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## LuxPerpetua (Dec 17, 2003)

I find it very annoying. My dd doesn't go by a nickname and if you call her one she'll correct you and even spell out her name. . . she's very precise like that.


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

I call babies/kids by the name their parents call them, out of respect.

But at the same time, it doesn't bother me when people call my kids by a nickname -- they're just doing it out of affection.


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## SquishyBuggles (Dec 19, 2008)

It doesn't bother me if someone has a nickname for my kids....it's endearing.


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## rachel7628 (Oct 23, 2008)

Depends on the nickname. Shortened versions of her name? No. We chose Tamsin because we like that name and not so that we could shorten it - if we wanted to call her Tammy, we would have used it (or Tamara).

Terms of endearment from family members? Totally fine with it. It's a sign of affection.


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## mama_mojo (Jun 5, 2005)

In defense of people using YOUR name for your child- I copy the person I am with. I actually am really touchy about names, so I am very careful to follow specific name instructions, but if there are no instructions, I'm going to copy the parents. Also, even if there are specific instructions, like, "Call him Alexander", I will do it, but if the parents are ALWAYS calling him Genore, I will occasionally slip and call Alexander Genore.

Personally, I do not might shortened names as long as they do not become the only name. SIL tried for awhile to call my Ezra "Ezzie", and I gently stopped that. She was only 13 when he was born, so I was gentle. But really, Ezra is such a strong name, and Ezzie just did not fit.

PS- We actually call him Ez regularly, but we're THAT way.


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## 4Blessings (Feb 27, 2008)

We've chosen names for our children that are long and have multiple nicknames. If we didn't love the nicknames we would not have chosen the names.
I think it's odd to expect everyone to spit out our child's entire three syllable first name when there are perfectly good nicknames available









I've got much bigger fish to fry so I don't let the small stuff bug me


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## SAHDS (Mar 28, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2pinks* 
Anyway, does it bother you when people, be it family or friends, give your child a nickname, especially without asking?

Asking who? You?

I think it should be up to the child what someone calls them, why should it matter what I think? It's her/his name, she's/he's the one being called that.

Seems a bit controlling to decide what someone calls my child. If it bugs the child, yes I would respect that and back them up on it. Even if that means the nicknames I use for them.


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## janasmama (Feb 8, 2005)

not really, there are too many things in life that can be aggravating that some things have to be let go. I let the name thing go because if someone is willing to love on my child I'll take what I can get b/c I don't have family to do it.


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

so long as it is polite (poopy butt just wouldn't be cool) I don't care what people call my kids. when they are old enough to have an opinion I will help them assert it if need be. I try not to interfere in my childrens relationships with others. that nickname might mean the world to them when they are older. even if I hate it.


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## Orono Mom (Jun 4, 2007)

My MIL inisists on calling our daughter 'Gramma's Little Lovey'. Always. Every time. It makes me completely ill, and strangely enough, my DD completely ignores her when she says this. DH and I just say 'Her name is Nora' and leave it at that. We figure she'll either catch on, or not, but it's not worth fighting over. Her other 3 grandkids are 'Honey Bunny' 'Sweet Pea' and 'Big Boy'. Blech.

Again, it's all just personal opinion.


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## JD5351 (Sep 13, 2008)

I call my best friend's little boy "Bubba". Not sure why, I called him that one day and he laughed at me, my heart melted, and I stuck with it.







If it bothered my friend, I wouldn't do it. She refers to him as 'Your bubba' when she tells me about what he did...Like last night, "Your bubba managed to smear chocolate chip cookies all through his freshly washed hair. He smells like a cookie, you want him?" LOL But anyone else calls him bubba and she doesn't care for it.

They should definately respect your wishes.


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## LizzieMac (Jan 2, 2009)

Unless it's offensive, I find it rather endearing. I even like acquiring nicknames as an adult. To me, it's a form of acceptance.


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## momasana (Aug 24, 2007)

It doesn't bother me. Our family is a nicknaming bunch so it's almost expected. If they ever called DS something that I didn't like, I would just tell them and I know they would stop.

Most men call my DS a nickname - the shortened version of his name - even though WE don't call him that. And it's only men, not women. Funny, hunh?


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## ryansma (Sep 6, 2006)

My dad has silly nicknames he calls me and both boys. He is not an overly effusive or affectionate man so it's his way of showing affection. I don't mind.


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## holothuroidea (Mar 30, 2008)

I love nicknames. I'm not sure I fully understand why it would bother people. I feel like children are given a name but that name does not belong to the parents, the name belongs to the relationships that the child has. If that makes any sense. So, I would not allow offensive names but everything else is game until she asserts herself, in which case I would back up whatever she chose. Does that make sense?

My BIL actually asked me for specific nickname instructions, and I was totally taken aback. I just said "You can call her whatever you want, you're her uncle!" He was a little confused.







I don't get it.

What DOES bother me is when people have not nicknames but scolding names. Like when parents will lengthen a name that they've shortened when the child is "in trouble." That to me just screams "I only love you when..."


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## Redifer (Nov 25, 2006)

We're a nicknaming family. I ONLY go by my nickname (see the screenname? 95% of everyone I know calls me Red or Redifer, instead of Jen or Jennifer) unless in a business situation. DH tends to only go by his last name as opposed to his given name. Or, with close friends, he goes by Haywood Focker, or just Focker, from Meet The Parents.

The kids each have multiple nicknames, and we tend to only use them as opposed to their given names. The baby was PeeWee for a while (a name we picked on an irony basis, due to her being over 10 lbs at birth and from then on always being "above average"). My sister gave her the name PeeWizzle, and then that stuck. So now, I have a PeeWizzle.

DD1 was Stinkbug, Peanut, NellieBean.. so on and so forth, as a baby. Now, at almost 5, she is still going by NellieBean.

My niece and nephew (5 years and 2 years, respectively) are GinerBean and LilMan, and have been since birth. The entire family calls them these nicknames.

The only nicknames that really bother me are things that are inappropriate for children. I've encountered a few people who like to nickname children some offensive names, and that irritates me.

But other than that, if it's a term of endearment, I don't really mind.


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## One_Girl (Feb 8, 2008)

My dd's preschool teacher gave her a nickname when she was three and it did make me mad, but my dd loved it and I chose not to make an issue out of it. I think I was mad because she chose the nickname rather than me choosing it, but once I got past the control issue that came with the name I started using it too because dd really liked it. I now use a nickname about half the time and her name the rest of the time. If your child likes the nickname then I think that you should let her be called by it. She is your wonderful child no matter what name other people call her.


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

I sometimes worry that my 8mo DD won't know her real name because I use it so infrequently -- I almost always use one of dozens of nicknames I have for her.

So yeah, it doesn't bother me.


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## Lizafava (Nov 28, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lilyka* 
so long as it is polite (poopy butt just wouldn't be cool) I don't care what people call my kids. when they are old enough to have an opinion I will help them assert it if need be. I try not to interfere in my childrens relationships with others. that nickname might mean the world to them when they are older. even if I hate it.









:

My maternal grandmother had all sorts of nicknames for me that my mother didn't like and which I would have hated coming from anyone else. But I loved it from her and cherish those memories now.

I think I would feel thankful if someone had a special nickname for my kiddos, even if I didn't like it. Maybe that's because my family is so small, and like another poster, I will take what I can get. I'm a little nervous that our baby Julian will get called "Jay", but am trying to make peace now with that possibility, because life is just too short for me to stress out about stuff like that.


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## SquishyBuggles (Dec 19, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *limabean* 
I sometimes worry that my 8mo DD won't know her real name because I use it so infrequently -- I almost always use one of dozens of nicknames I have for her.

So yeah, it doesn't bother me.









Haha ditto...we call our LO's so many nicknames it's insane.


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## Kinipela79 (Apr 8, 2003)

It doesn't bother me. I've had all sorts of nick names growing up from different people and it's never been an issue. My kids have had the same sort of the thing. I think it's sweet. And sometimes really funny how certain names are aquired.


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## MommaFox (Jul 21, 2008)

nak.
My grandma calls Danny "my little doo-doo bug" uke Now, I'm a fan of nicknames. Danny is Bug, Danny-bug, Danio (like the fish), Chirping Bird, Fuzzy... and so on, but Doo-doo bug? Let's just call him Dung beetle and have it over with.
She can't even remember Malcolm's name. She calls him "Little uhm....."
I don't cae if yo have a nickname fir my kids, s'long as it's not yucky.


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## P1nkCupcake (Jan 16, 2009)

It depends who is saying it because someone you like could use a nick name and its adorable but if it comes from someone you dislike it could not be more annoying.

I would just let it go and laugh about it behind closed doors.


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## Sierra (Nov 19, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *holothuroidea* 
I love nicknames. I'm not sure I fully understand why it would bother people.

We're talking here about nicknames that a family really doesn't like...in the OP, a name that not a single family member liked (maybe the baby, who I am assuming was too young to have either formed or expressed an opinion on the matter).

I haven't seen a whole lot of posts saying "I hate nicknames. Period."


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## OakBerry (May 24, 2005)

I grew up in a family where everyone had several nicknames.
So to me it's no big deal. Not on my radar to worry about, really.


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## ilovebabies (Jun 7, 2008)

No big deal for me either. My deceased brother in law was a very special man with a unique and very cool personality. He had a nickname for *everyone* (dh and I included). Every new family member got a nickname. Now that he is gone, the memories of his nicknames for everyone brings us to tears.

As long as it's not offensive, even if I don't necessarily like it, it wouldn't really bother me. If my child said they didn't like it and that they wish "so and so" wouldn't call them that, then I would say something to that person and let them know the child doesn't like it and to please nix the nickname and I would enforce it.

Depends on the circumstances.


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## mom2tristan04 (Mar 1, 2006)

It's not something that bothers me.







MIL does have one nickname for ds that grates on my nerves after a while, but definitely nothing I'm going to make an issue over.


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

My Grandma called me Sissy. It darn near drove my mom crazy. I never cared. Its what everyone called her and i thought it was what all the girls in the family were called. but as she lay in a hospital bed dying I realized it was something special her and I alone shared. I was so touched that I almost named my third child after her and was going to call her Sissy.


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## octobermom (Aug 31, 2005)

I don't mind playful "pet same" assuming my DD is not bothered by them but I LOATH nick names DH and I choose a name and that is the name she will go by.

Deanna


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## becoming (Apr 11, 2003)

Doesn't bother me, but I am the absolute QUEEN of nicknames myself. I'm sure I've already used every possible nickname for my kids' names!


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## Mercury_Girl (Jan 12, 2006)

I feel I must confess, I am a name shortener. I shorten everyone's name. I have a friend named Victoria, she hates being called Vicky or Vic or Tori. I spent 3 months thinking of ideas & came upon Vika which is a Russian diminutive & her family is of Russian origin. She doesn't love it, but she accepts it. So now you understand how deep my name shortening runs. I never, ever shorten a child's name with out the child oking it or if they are too young the parent's ok. If I know the child well & see them often I come up with non-name realated nicknames, which again if the child or parent hates I won't use.

I think it is disrespectful to call some one something they don't like (or parent doesn't like if they are little). To me it's no different than using a 4 letter word as a name for them. If someone is upset by it then it's wrong. I wouldn't say "Do not call my child that!", but I would approach it knowing they are only trying to be sweet & nice. I might say "it took me ages to come up with the name I though was perfect & it would mean the world to me if you would call him/her by it."


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## 2pinks (Dec 20, 2007)

Just for reference, my daugher only has 5 letters in her name, not 15.
Secondly, when I asked my cousin to not call her that, she told me:
"I don't care, I'll call her that anyway" (oh h3ll no you won't! THAT'S what really ticked me off.)
That's what started off the little argument
Thirdly, the nickname "na-na" (said with a long "a" sound) reminds me of "Shanana" and it i can't stand it. period.


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## fruitfulmomma (Jun 8, 2002)

Doesn't really bother me, although dh doesn't like it. But... my son gets furious! The only person who can get away with calling him a nickname is his 2yo sister who calls him Buddy instead of brother. If I call her Beth, instead of Elizabeth he totally goes off.


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## 2pinks (Dec 20, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *fruitfulmomma* 
Doesn't really bother me, although dh doesn't like it. But... my son gets furious! The only person who can get away with calling him a nickname is his 2yo sister who calls him Buddy instead of brother. If I call her Beth, instead of Elizabeth he totally goes off.

That's my dh. He has a name that you can't really give a nickname to. He was raised military and is retired military himself, so, he's "old school" when it comes to stuff like this. He's like "that's not their name!"

It's not usually a problem b/c all three of our girls have/will have names that can't really be shortened.


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2pinks* 
Secondly, when I asked my cousin to not call her that, she told me:
"I don't care, I'll call her that anyway" (oh h3ll no you won't! THAT'S what really ticked me off.)

Well, that was rude of her. I still don't have a problem with nicknames, but I'd have a problem with someone who disrespected me like that, no matter what the issue was.


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## not now (Mar 12, 2007)

I don't care unless hes old enough to protest and they don't stop. I figure it's that persons way of creating "something special."


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2pinks* 
Just for reference, my daugher only has 5 letters in her name, not 15.
Secondly, when I asked my cousin to not call her that, she told me:
"I don't care, I'll call her that anyway" (oh h3ll no you won't! THAT'S what really ticked me off.)
That's what started off the little argument
Thirdly, the nickname "na-na" (said with a long "a" sound) reminds me of "Shanana" and it i can't stand it. period.


i think you are over reacting. it really isn't up to you what other people call your children. you are kinda being controlling. It would be different if your dd hated but I am guessing she will love it when her special friend calls her that.

and my dd name is Ava. people still shorten it. I shorten it or cutsie it up (we call her Avie or Avanie. Then again I also call her stinky or stinkerbell . . . . or bear bait . . . .


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## janasmama (Feb 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lilyka* 
I shorten it or cutsie it up (we call her Avie or Avanie. Then again I also call her stinky or stinkerbell . . . . or bear bait . . . .

Bear Bait.







Where the heck did that come from?

I call my DS chicken. not sure where that came from but our pet names seem to be food related...maybe it's because we want to eat them.


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## newbymom05 (Aug 13, 2005)

Haven't read the replies so maybe I"m off in left field, but I think it's rude, disrespectful, and a form of passive aggressiveness to use a nickname someone objects to. So there! (thinking of my often-corrected SIL







)


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *janasmama* 
Bear Bait.







Where the heck did that come from?

\

have you ever been to Yellowstone? they give you a list of things that attract bears. if you have baby in a diaper you might as well call them bear bait. So we did. and it stuck.


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## 2xy (Nov 30, 2008)

I think there's a difference between a nickname and a term of endearment.

DS1's name is Jakob, and we call him Jakob 99% of the time. Some people call him Jake, and he doesn't mind that. Every so often I'll call him Jake. That's a nickname. His grandpa calls him Jakebird (like Jaybird)....that's a nickname, IMO.

But when I call him Sweetie, or Love, or Sugar Pumpkin (and yes, I do







), I don't think of those as nicknames. When DH calls me Honey, I don't think of that as a nickname. As long as whatever people call my kids is not ugly or hateful, I don't care.

I remember about 20 years ago, a co-worker brought his wife and newborn by to visit the office. Everybody was cooing over the baby, and one woman looked at the LO with a big smile and said "Hey, there, Sweetpea!" And the baby's mother had this mean look on her face, and emphatically said, "His _name_ is *Joshua*, not _Sweetpea_."

Most of us looked at each other with "What a b*%^h!" expressions on our faces. Lets just say they didn't get invited to any barbecues that summer.


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## mytwogirls (Jan 3, 2008)

Nope. Our girls have ALL kinds of nicknames: Poopie, Sissy Pie, Lexie Pie, etc...I really don't care. Not a big deal to me.


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## IlluminatedAttic (Aug 25, 2006)

I'm not completely against nicknames, but I have boundaries.

I have a unique name, not a difficult one - only two syllables, both common phonemes in the english language - but the majority of people I met as a child and still a good number as an adult hear my name, ask me to repeat it and then without even attempting to say it themselves announce what nickname they will be calling me. More often they ask permission now, but when I was a kid and even into my mid-twenties it was usually just "their decision". I rarely stood for this and was usually quite firm in correcting them. Again, my name is not difficult and in teaching early childhood ed. for 20 years I rarely had a child over three in a class that could not pronounce it so I see it a sign of respect for adults to say my name correctly. Those who don't bother, after three times being corrected, I simply begin mispronouncing their names and amazingly they quickly understand and correct their own behavior.

Now, all that being said, I have some close friends and relatives who have nicknames for me and I cherish them as they are a part of our relationship. I have given similar terms of affections to a few special people and use them in place of their given names.

So for my son I insist that new acquaintances use his full name - again unique but easy to pronounce. We also discouraged the family's early attempts at shortening it. However there are already a couple of people with whom he has a strong bond that have come to call him by a personal nickname and we fully recognize that this is a special term of affection and have no problem with it. We will also respect his choices in the future about the use of his name and what he prefers people to call him.


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## Heavenly (Nov 21, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Orono Mom* 
My MIL inisists on calling our daughter 'Gramma's Little Lovey'. Always. Every time. It makes me completely ill, and strangely enough, my DD completely ignores her when she says this. DH and I just say 'Her name is Nora' and leave it at that. We figure she'll either catch on, or not, but it's not worth fighting over. Her other 3 grandkids are 'Honey Bunny' 'Sweet Pea' and 'Big Boy'. Blech.

Again, it's all just personal opinion.

I find that really sad. Your attitude about it, I mean, not Grandma's nickname for the child.


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## sndblevins (Jun 1, 2009)

I think if the parents give their child a nickname it is ok cause they choose. But like I have a 2 year old girl, who is still learning and trying to keep everyone she meets and knows sorted to whom they are. Not to mention she answers her Dad and I and anyone else who calls her by her birth given name that was decided 7 years before I even got pregnant.
Anyhow, I gave her a name with a reason to call her that. Now I have family member that for some reason cant or wont respect us asking them to call her by her name, we correct them they get affended but I wont back off till they see they also are affended and disrespecting our choice for a name of our daughter. If I wanted to name her what they like I would have taken a poll on their opinion before she was born.

I feel if they are family and they truly respect and love you and your children they will respect your choice of name to call your child. Not call them by nick names that will confuse them at such a young age when everyone has their own nick they choose.

We are the parents we raise our children, other named their child and I call each child by the name the parents call them less confusion and it is proper. I ask that the same be done. It isnt being mean unless you automatically jump the person but one can only ask a person to call their child by proper name so many times before we know they dont care about how we feel or what our wishes are.


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## oceanbaby (Nov 19, 2001)

My SIL used to try to do this with ds1, and it bugged me. She kept shortening his name (it's not a very long name to begin with). Nobody else had ever called him that, so I'm not sure why she thought it was appropriate. I just never responded to it, never used it, and she eventually dropped it. But yes, I did find it irritating.

As an aside, I think it is rude to "alter" a person's name when you know they go by the full name. If someone introduces themself as Elizabeth, don't call them Beth. If someone introduces themself as Pamela, don't call them Pam. Robert does not equal Bob. That kind of thing.


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## oceanbaby (Nov 19, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rachel7628* 
Depends on the nickname. Shortened versions of her name? No. We chose Tamsin because we like that name and not so that we could shorten it - if we wanted to call her Tammy, we would have used it (or Tamara).

Terms of endearment from family members? Totally fine with it. It's a sign of affection.

Yes. Terms of endearment are fine (as long as they are not embarassing or disrespectful). Deciding to shorten or alter a name, no.

If my MIL wants to call my kid Lovebug, that's fine.


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## LuxPerpetua (Dec 17, 2003)

Yes, I get bothered quite a bit by it. DD's name is Cecily and we've had a few people try to call her Cess or Ceci. I usually don't say anything to them but just make sure that in their presence I always use her full first name (like I will intentionally say, "*Cecily*, can you do xyz for mommy?" instead of, "Honey/Sweetheart, can you do ..." so they will get the hint that we don't shorten her name. I don't confront them outright, though, as I think that would be rather awkward. I just inwardly bristle.


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## KarlaC (Mar 20, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HollyBearsMom* 
Nope it doesn't bother me unless it is offensive/insulting.

I think nicknames are a sign of affection. My mom had a nickname for my son and she always said it in a really sweet way. Now that she is gone I miss hearing it.

















: I'm more offended when I hear mispronunciation of dd1's name by school teachers. Aurora should NOT be pronounced Auh-roar-ia by anyone that holds a college education & has no speech impediments imo







:

It seems to be a thing here in NC, I had never heard that in MI. Even a lot of the other kids say it that way for some strange reason.

So far her nicknames I've heard other people give her were:

Roar
Rorie
Oreo which then descended into 'Cookie'(ugh)
and the ever so common mispronunciation of 'Alora'

None of the nicknames really bug me though I guess, I will force kids who call to pronounce her name correctly(instead of Auh-roar-ia) if it's the first time they call. If you can't say someones name why the heck are you calling their phone #???


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## e(Lisa)beth (Aug 17, 2007)

My child hasn't been born yet, so I'm not sure how I will feel about people nicknaming her.

I've always enjoyed nicknames for myself because they make me feel special. The caveat is that the other party has to ask first! When they do ask, I tell them that Lisa or Eli are both acceptable. But generally the way it goes is that I introduce myself with my full name (Elisabeth) and the other person immediately calls me Liz or Beth. I really, really hate that. Neither of those are my name!

(And I immediately form a negative opinion about the people who do this; probably shouldn't, but it's a gut reaction. Like, if they don't care enough / listen well enough to repeat a name properly, especially one so well-known, what more complicated things do they not care enough to do properly?)

I will admit I have a problem confronting people about this. If it's someone I hardly ever talk to, especially in a business setting, I just let it go. But sometimes even if it is someone I should correct, like the mail guy at work whom I talk to every day, I just can't figure out how to do it without sounding rude.


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## ThisLove (Jul 5, 2008)

I'm a Katie - short for Katrina. I *hate* being called Katrina. (A PP mentioned something about how people will use full names when a kid's in trouble, that was me! Katrina only came out when I ticked my parents off.) If I had been thinking about it, I would've legally changed my name to Katie when I got married and was changing my last name!

Everyone asks when Calloway will get a nickname. He won't. He is VERY much a Calloway. I'll use "C" in a post or in a text, but that's as far as it goes. He's not a Cal, a LoLo, or any of the names people have tried to give him. They just don't fit. I don't mind terms of endearment - sweetpea, sugar, whatever - but don't try to shorten 'Calloway' ... if I had wanted to name him Cal, I would've.

When we announced his name, my SIL told me that I had to find a nickname because her youngest wouldn't be able to pronounce it (he was almost 1 when Calloway was born). Now, everyone (including her) loves it when my nephew says his name (Ca-Wo-WAY!!, very animated). It just fits.


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## Joyster (Oct 26, 2007)

DS1 has a two syllable name, but it doesn't really translate well into a short form, so everyone just uses his name. I have a nickname for him, which is his mommy/son nickname. No one else uses it. I don't think I'd object, it's just that it's so weird, no one uses it. lol

DS2 has a commonly shortened name (his name is four syllables!). Our friends and family respect our wishes to use the long form, it's more DH wishes than mine, I don't care. Only DH's best friend and his mom regularly uses the short form, and DH gives them a pass because best friend is the godfather, he's afraid of best friend's mom and best friend's brother has the same name, shortened. I keep on telling DH that the minute he hits school, it's going to be short form, he's pulling the wool over his eyes for that one.

Terms of endearment, totally do not bother me at all. Sweetheart, pumpkin, honey, etc. All cool.


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## JacqNS (Feb 19, 2008)

Terms are endearment are fine with me, but I do think it is somewhat rude to nickname someone else's child without asking the permission of the parents and receiving their approval.


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## Hey Mama! (Dec 27, 2003)

I can't stand it. I have a dd named Gabriella. I do not like the nn Gabby, at all. When we lived in TX her daycare asked me if they could call her Gabby, I said no, if they had to shorten it Ella was fine. So, she was Ella for a couple years. We moved back to our hometown and everyone here seems to think it's perfectly acceptable to call her Gabby, even though I asked them not to. At first she would correct them but she doesn't anymore. It has stuck







: so I insisted if they want to call her Gabby then it will be spelled Gabi. She is almost 4 now. On school forms I write her entire name and make it clear she is not to be called Gabi at school. The Mother's Day Out program she attends still does it anyway.


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## 2goingon2 (Feb 8, 2007)

It never ceases to amaze me the people who take it upon themselves to shorten or alter a child's name. Wait - not just a child, anyone. I've been called "Jan" before by people I just met. I would never take it upon myself to call a Rebecca Becky or a Thomas Tom. My three sons all have names that can be shortened like that. Yeah, I'm like the rest of you..."if I wanted my son called Sam or Sammy, I would have named him that". But, if someone wants to call one of my little ones another term of endearment, I'm okay with that. Just don't mess with the name. My daughter went through the same thing and when she was old enough, she corrected people. So, you can teach the child to respectfully ask people to call them by the correct name.
My in-laws call my two youngest sons everything but their names most of the time, and that includes altering their names. They rarely call my husband by his name too so I think it's just who they are. It really bugged me at first but they are such good and loving people and the best grandparents ever, that I overlook it.


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## Irishmommy (Nov 19, 2001)

Drives me nuts, and I do call people on it. Dh gets it all the time. His name is David (Okay, not really, but the theory is the same). He will introduce himself as "Hi, I'm David" and get "Hi, Dave" back. Drives us both nuts. He's more polite than I am, I correct people who shorten his name.

And dd2's name can be shortened a number of ways, but I don't allow it. If I wanted her name shortened, I would have named her that. But more people call her by the wrong name than shorten it (think Joan instead of Joanne) and that is even worse. One of her teachers does it, and she hates it, but won't say anything. I have, but he still does it.


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## Mal85 (Sep 3, 2008)

As far as terms of endearment, I call DD every nickname under the sun. So, it doesn't bother me when others do as well.

However, my family members were not too fond of the name we chose for her (Owyn), so they were giving her nicknames before she was born, Winnie was their favorite. Her middle name is Samantha, so there are a lot of people calling her Sam or Sammy. I don't say much, but I don't like it and I'm looking forward to when they stop. I know they will because I've seen them do this with other kids in the family and it eventually goes away. I just keep calling her Owyn and they will catch on (Winnie never did stick, btw).


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## leighann79 (Aug 4, 2005)

My DD1 is Fiona. Although I warned them off, FIL insisted on calling her Fifi for a long time. She has mostly stopped him now.
DS is Eric. We haven't had any problem with his name. FIL ( the worst offender) just calles him E-boy which goes with the nick name their first grandson got, D-boy.







I don't mind those.








DD2 is Colleen. I didn't want it, but she ended up Coco. DD1 and DS call her that and so it caught on with some family members too. But, it's not all the time. She's mostly Colleen, so that doesn't bug me so much.
This baby will be William. I'm fine with Will. I'm fine with Liam. I do. not. want. Bill or Willy. (Billy may be ok) I'm sure FIL will use one or both. Grrr. I don't like the name Bill because I know a UAV by that name and I don't want my sweet baby called that name. Willy just seems rude. I'm simply going to call him William and see how it all goes. Using that name is important to me (it's a family name on both sides), so I'll deal with what ever FIL (and others) dish out.
I know that MIL's father (William) was called Bill sometimes, so that makes it easier to accept if they start calling him that. I just need to get rid of the other association I have with that name.

I never shorten names with out an ok. Mostly I don't shorten names anyway. My nephew is Nathan. His parents call him Nate. I just can't. LOL He's always Nathan to me. If they asked that I call him Nate instead, I would try my hardest though.







My niece is Natalie. I never think to shorten that either. Maybe that's why it is so hard on me when others decide to shorten my kids' names. (I really am trying to let it go though. It's just not worth the stress unless it's bugging my kids. I'll help them stand up for themselves then.







)


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## Chloebeansmom (Jul 16, 2008)

I guess I don't really care. DD has a bunch of nicknames and the one we use the most, Beans, was given to her by her NICU nurse. When she would feed Chloe she always would talk to her like they were having a conversation and would tell her how she was just the size of a beanie baby. (She was 2lbs 8oz at birth). So beanie baby eventually got shortened to Beans. My DH and I got used to hearing it and started using it too. Most people in the family call her Chlo as a nickname, and my DH and SIL call her Monkey or Chloe-monkey. And if I can every stop myself from calling her the dog's name she wont get called Rory anymore!







LOL


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## Just Elsa (May 18, 2009)

Not unless it bugs him. It's part of people's relationships to develop pet names and unless there's a real issue I see no reason to micromanage his interpersonal relationships.


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## Engineering_Mama (Jun 24, 2008)

Total thread hijack here, but why oh why to people keep asking if we've given DD a nick name yet? Yes, her name is 4 syllables. Its not that hard folks. And we gave her the name we did because we LIKE it. We really don't have any plans to shorten it. If you absolutely cannot manage a 4 syllable name you'll need to come up with your own nick name for her, don't expect me to do it for you.


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## amynbebes (Aug 28, 2008)

Unless it's derogatory or offensive, no. For instance the parents of my 7 yr old's best buddy call him Ronaldo and add their last name on. Ronaldo is his favorite soccer player. Likewise, we have our own nickname for their son.


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## kirstenb (Oct 4, 2007)

I get really bothered when people shorten DS's name. We have only ever called him by his full name. As he gets older he may choose to go by the nickname and that's fine, but I think that's his decesion to make, not some random person.


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## BellaClaudia (Aug 1, 2008)

no, I am not really concerned..

It is okay with me.. I don't care how they call my DD,
I know they mean well and this is not the way I will call her
and sometime she does not even know it is about her 

It gives them some pleasure to call her taht and sometimes
it is just difficult to learn ther real name as it is foreign to them
as they live in different countries for most.. so I find it
as they are kind hearted as they do it.

we call her what we feel and she picks what she wants to
be called as she becomes her own person and she
will one day make those choces as I feel.

when I was a child I had little to say how was I called
and I thought that this is what my name is... however
whoever called me..

then one day I realized that I make rules and
so I put stop to all names that were not ME
and kindly made corrections but then again..
some poeple never would apply so it isa waist of energy

and others will.

usually new people will get trained easily
and old people's customs never die in the first place

so it dose not matter, I am who I am for those whom I love
and if my mother called me all my life Jenny instead of Jen
and I heated the Jenny name she would never call me Jen
as for her I was am and will be Jen.. so it has to be that way..
but I am Jen.. and will be Jen to my husband and that is all
that matters..

of course the name is fictional.. I am not Jen nor Jenny..
it was jus an example..


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## Mrs.Burke (May 14, 2009)

Unless you named your newly acquired dog sounding similar to my daughters nickname and you happen to be my neighbor and my bro in law. Lol
It happened to us and we talked to them and they gladly changed the dogs name to Diego.


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## Mrs.Burke (May 14, 2009)

Opps double post


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## kblackstone444 (Jun 17, 2007)

Interesting thread. I know alot of people who just naturally nickname people. I'm one of them.







There's a child in my preschool class (I'll call her Joanna), who I sometimes call "Joanna Banana". It never occured to me that it might piss her Mother off- the little girl likes it and thinks it's a big laugh every time, so I never thought it'd be a big deal. My kids have had various nicknames from various people throught their lives. The only one that really bothered me was when my stepdaughter was nicknamed "Barbie" while she was going through her "Barbie and you're not good enough if you're not skinny with perfect hair, clothes and makeup" phase, which I asked the person to stop because of this, and they did.


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## onlyzombiecat (Aug 15, 2004)

I don't think anyone tried to nickname dd. Briefly mil tried calling her by her first name doubled. I didn't love that but I didn't say anything and she stopped pretty quickly. Maybe I looked ill every time she said it?

My dd has never been into nicknames so she would probably be the one to tell the person to stop.


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## innle (Mar 16, 2007)

I use nicknames as terms of endearment (as does my entire family), so I love them!







As people get older the nicknames can change too, it's interesting to think back and see when I used what nickname.

However, nicknames used as taunts? Not cool. DH has a long name - his mother loves it, and insisted on it for him - and then asked that everyone call him the full name (to use the Alexander example - she wanted everyone to call him "Alexander", not "Alex" or "Xander"). However, her brother insists on shortening it - not because of any personal reasons or for endearment, but to annoy MIL.







That strikes me as rude.


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## JamesMama (Jun 1, 2005)

Yes, it frustrates the heck out of me.

My DH's family insisted on calling James J.C (his middle name is clarence) I HATED IT. James is a perfectly wonderful name I prefer to call him James. They knew DH and I HATED the knickname with a passion yet they insisted on calling him that for well over a year. Finally they got over themselves and now call him James.

The biggest offender was DH's aunt, she is a grandma now and DH's mother insists on calling her grandbaby a combination of her (my MIL) husbands and her sister's (the aunt) husbands name (honestly, this is the mentality of these people) even though that is no where remotely CLOSE to the child's real name. Pisses DH's aunt off to no end. I call it Karma...









ETA again, James now corrects people if they try calling him ANYTHING but his name (or Buh-Buh which is what my 18 month old calls him)


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## CatsCradle (May 7, 2007)

DH and I never made the name decision based on whether DD would be subject to nicknames, and even when she is called something that is a variation of her name (which is Zoe), we know that it is a term of endearment. We live in an area that is densely populated with immigrants from Russia, the Middle East, Latin American, etc.

In fact, we've all quite enjoyed the variations, ranging from Zoykie to Zoykanaya to Zozo...

A funny little thing: one day Zoe and I were playing around and I called her Bijou (pronouncing it Beejou because I think it is a wonderful sounding name) and she got really mad (she's 2.5). She said, "I'm not Bijou, I'm Zoe." But, now she's gotten into a silly little habit of calling other kids "Bijou" when she is upset with them.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

The only thing that bugs me is when people call her "Sophie" instead of "Sophia". Not because I dislike "Sophie" but because it actually is more of a different name than a nickname. "Soph" doesn't bother me.


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## teale (Feb 20, 2009)

We picked DS's name so it couldn't be shortened, but FIL shortens it. One nickname is obnoxious and I try to correct him, and the other is fine with me, but not his name, which is still annoying.


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## purplemoon (Sep 24, 2008)

I have changed the pronunciation of a relative's child name only because it literally, if pronounced correctly, sounds just like Areola.

Not spelled that way, but I have a hard time saying it. So I came up with a prettier version. Instead of air-ee-ola I call her ah-ree-ola.

Her name isn't actually Areola, but pretty much.


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## jlovesl (Dec 19, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HollyBearsMom* 
Nope it doesn't bother me unless it is offensive/insulting.

I think nicknames are a sign of affection. My mom had a nickname for my son and she always said it in a really sweet way. Now that she is gone I miss hearing it.









Awww...I'm so sorry for your loss. I totally agree with you. My parents have nicknames of their own for my baby boy. My Dad calls him Chubby Checkers cause he LOVES to dance and sing. My Mom calls him Schmall schmall. I too will miss hearing that when my parents pass. A person has a nickname that is a reference as to how they see your child. If it's not insulting then who cares.


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

It's fine with me if it's fine with my kid.


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## aprons_and_acorns (Sep 28, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *phathui5* 
It's fine with me if it's fine with my kid.

This is my opinion too.

I call DS Vo or Vovo as a nickname and we both think it's neat when other people pick up on that and call him those names as well.


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## Smokering (Sep 5, 2007)

It does bug me a little when people use our terms of affection for Rowan without knowing her too well. We call her the dude and the snortlepig, and it's mighty odd to have a comparative stranger say "Hi, Snorty Pig" or something similarly not-quite-right-just-doesn't-get-it. But it doesn't happen often. My dad started calling her "the dude" because we did and he thought it was funny, but now he does it unconsciously and startles his congregation.


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## LaLaLaLa (Oct 29, 2007)

I LOVE nicknames and am always secretly pleased when someone refers to me by one (other than my everyday nickname that everyone calls me).

Oddly enough, my kids have names that don't shorten to nicknames. I'd be very encouraging of people calling them anything they come up with out of love, although right now it's mostly just their names or generic terms of endearment. Those are okay, too. Maybe at some point someone will come up with real nicknames for them.


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

I thought of this thread today -- DH and I were talking about the kids, and we called them Buster and Gaga almost exclusively. And it wasn't even a humorous conversation -- we were using those nicknames as though they were perfectly normal, legitimate names!


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## Irishmommy (Nov 19, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *harleyhalfmoon* 
Interesting thread. I know alot of people who just naturally nickname people. I'm one of them.







There's a child in my preschool class (I'll call her Joanna), who I sometimes call "Joanna Banana". It never occured to me that it might piss her Mother off- the little girl likes it and thinks it's a big laugh every time, so I never thought it'd be a big deal. My kids have had various nicknames from various people throught their lives. The only one that really bothered me was when my stepdaughter was nicknamed "Barbie" while she was going through her "Barbie and you're not good enough if you're not skinny with perfect hair, clothes and makeup" phase, which I asked the person to stop because of this, and they did.

Calling my child Joanna Banana would bother me way less than you calling her Jo or Joey.


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## _betsy_ (Jun 29, 2004)

My parents gve me a formal name with every intention of never calling me that name, and always using a nickname. I hate the nickname, but it stuck. There are many nicknames that can come from my formal name, and my actual nickname is the least common one. I HATE it when perfect strangers decide to call me Liz or Beth. WHo are you to decide that?

We named our kids things that aren't easily shortened, on purpose.

Joanna Banana? CUTE! Shortening Joanna to Jo occassionally? Fine. Shortening Joanna to Jo all the time? Irritating!


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## Jojo F. (Apr 7, 2007)

Only since I had my DD. Her name is Poppy and my FIL calls her petunia:/ I feel like he is doing it on purpose. One of the first few times he said it I did say something jokingly like "That's the wrong flower!"


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## Jojo F. (Apr 7, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *_betsy_* 
Joanna Banana? CUTE! Shortening Joanna to Jo occassionally? Fine. Shortening Joanna to Jo all the time? Irritating!

DH calls me Jo ALL OF THE TIME and my family calls me Joanna Banana(it used to be Joanna Banana from Indiana







) I actually like Jojo now


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## PhoenixMommaToTwo (Feb 22, 2006)

For me, it depends on the nickname. Our oldest is Lilliauna, shortened version, Lilli, of course, no one calls her Lilliauna, except us occasionally. Somehow, she always becomes Ms. Lilli, even to people who have just met her. (Personally, I think it's because she's full of attitude,







, lol), our second child, Sage (a boy Sage) became Sagers, and I occasionally call him Sageriffic, but when I was pg with him, no one liked his name, so they would call him bush or some such nonsense. We put a stop to that right quick. And our third is Hobie, and il's hate his name (I love it, of course) so they've chosen to call him Hobie-one-kenobie just to make us mad. Horrible, right? (No offense to the star wars fans







) I just want to kill them when they call him that. Anyways, I'm cool with nicknames, depending on the nickname and if it's respectful.

And I totally agree with pp's on the whole shortening the name thing right off the bat (if that makes sense). My name's Serena and people would shorten it to Rena all the time. I didn't mind my family calling me that, but I hated it when other people did it.


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## River's mum (Apr 22, 2009)

nak

I prefer full names and chose dd's accordingly. DSS still thinks we should call her Riv, though


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