# Another Inappropriate MIL B-Day Story



## MI_Dawn (Jun 30, 2005)

Not as bad as preggymeaggy's...







: but still...

Today is my daughter's 8th birthday. It's also the two-month anniversary of William's death. Went to my MIL's this past weekend for DD's bday, and MIL sent us home with two dolls to wrap for DD's b-day from her collection (she's trying to downsize) which was nice of her.

Today, she calls. I think she's calling to either a) wish DD happy birthday (which it's early for... they're still in school) or b) to acknowledge that it's been two months since William died.

Nope, neither.

She says she knows DD likes the dolls you can dress/change better than the just "sit on the shelf" kind. The two she sent home could be either, really. She suggests I go into my dead son's bedroom, find some "gender neutral" baby clothes, and give those to my daughter for her new baby dolls.

I just sat there blinking at the phone. Really? You want me to do...what?

I said, "I don't think so."

Her response... "Well... why not? You're not using them!"

I just hung up.


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## dimibella (Feb 5, 2007)




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## SMR (Dec 21, 2004)

Man, stories like this make me LOVE my MIL even more! I just can not even imagine someone saying things like this to me.. wow, just wow!! Huge hugs to all of you ladies with crazy people saying stupid A$$ crap!!!


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## famille_huggins (Mar 30, 2007)

Oh.my.word. That is horrible!! Actually, horrible doesn't even begin to describe what that is. I cannot say how sorry I am for such insensitivity. Wow.


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## JayJay (Aug 1, 2008)

Oh mama, I would have hung up too. Gave her something to think about, didn't you. Wowee.

*HUGE hugs* XXX


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## Jules09 (Feb 11, 2009)

What is with these people?? How could she say that to you?! That is so unbelievably insensitive, I don't know how she could think it would be OK to suggest that.


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## expatmommy (Nov 7, 2006)

: Grrrr, what was she thinking!


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## NullSet (Dec 19, 2004)

It boggles my mind how anyone could even think that was an okay thing to say.


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## rsummer (Oct 27, 2006)

This is pretty bad too. Its just so weird that people can think stuff like that is appropriate... AND not even realize it when you say no to turning your son's clothes into toys.


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## momoftworedheads (Mar 6, 2003)

Whoa - she has to be one of the most insensitive people I have heard about in a while! I am so sorry you had to endure that phone conversation. As if your son's baby clothes are just toys. How does she think your DD would feel? Take care and huge hugs to you. Hope your DD has a great day









Jen


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## preggymeaggy (Jul 25, 2006)

oh man...I'm so sorry she said that. My mil would have totally done something like that, except she wouldn't have been nice enough to give my DD some dolls for her birthday...she tells me that she only buys "practical" gifts.

We really have the winners, don't we? I'm glad you hung up...don't waste your energy on that!


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## MovingMomma (Apr 28, 2004)

OMG! I'm so sorry. Hope she gets a clue.


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## Catubodua (Apr 21, 2008)

i wonder when i read these stories, how do you ever speak to them again? i really don't think i would.


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## MI_Dawn (Jun 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Catubodua* 
i wonder when i read these stories, how do you ever speak to them again? i really don't think i would.

Oh I'm sure I will. DH has tried the not-talking thing with her. Eventually, something happens, and we end up giving her an inch and she takes 10 miles again.

It was hurtful, yes, but ya know, it would have been more so coming from someone I didn't already expect it from, sad as that is!







I just sort of roll with it now, as much as I can, with her.

It is what it is. I can't change her.

DD had a great birthday and no, none of her baby dolls are wearing William's clothes.


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## Fireflyforever (May 28, 2008)

Ouch. I'm so sorry you've had to face that.


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## crazyfish (Feb 9, 2009)

That sounds like something my mil would say. You really have to set boundaries with people like that. I'm still working on it.

I'm so sorry she said that to you.


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## JayJay (Aug 1, 2008)

It's a bit like some of the comments I had about "getting rid" of Josie's clothes. No, we don't want to get rid of them, or her memory. We want to save them, in the same way as we would have, had she lived, to pass down to her baby siblings in the future. Just because she died, doesn't (to us) make her any less a big sister to this baby. Some of her clothes will go to this child, whether bean is a boy or a girl. They're not tainted - she was never tainted, KWIM?

*HUGE hugs* XXX It's funny isn't it - when were children, we think all grown ups are wise. When we grow up, we realize that isn't the case at all...


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## rmzbm (Jul 8, 2005)

Oh. My. God. Words fail me.







I'm sorry you had to hear that...


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## calmom (Aug 11, 2002)

wow, these insensitive comments just floor me. i'm glad you had the strength to hang up.


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## Amy&4girls (Oct 30, 2006)

I am so sorry.


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## ColoradoMama (Nov 22, 2001)

I am just floored. Some people really just don't get it, do they?


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