# Where do your Husbands sleep?



## Trinitty (Jul 15, 2004)

Hi there!

I'm seriously considering co-sleeping when we have children.

But, I don't want to do it at the expense of my Husband.

Where do your husbands sleep?

If we can all sleep together I'll be happy to do it.


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## CindyC (Mar 22, 2002)

Next to me. I sleep in the middle. We put the bed against the wall, so that DD can sleep on the other side of me.


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## Amylcd (Jun 16, 2005)

We all sleep in the same bed. Usually the kids are between DH and I (they have fallen off the bed many times)


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## jadzia's_mommy (Jun 9, 2005)

We all sleep together in the king sized bed. Usually DD is between us.


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## JesiLynne (Aug 25, 2004)

Right next to me

After ds2 was born dh spent a couple nights on the couch just b/c he was nervous and it was hard for me to get out of bed


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## mamajessica (Sep 15, 2004)

NAK.
We were all in the queen, but with DD nursing often and needing to switch sides, we needed more space! So we pushed a twin right next to the queen to make a cal-king size and now dp sleeps on the twin while DD and I roll all around on the queen







:


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## Acugirl (Jan 1, 2003)

For the majority of our cosleeping times-my dh slept in the guest room and I slept in our room with dd-She was a very frequent waker and my dh comes to bed really late (bet 1 and 3 AM) so I was always being woken up and just got to where I could only sleep with her if I wanted to function the next day!

But, we did try every combination! For the first 3 months she slept very happily in her carseat by our bed and that was really nice! It got harder as she got older though.

Now, she is 30 months and is spending the majority of her nights asleep in her own bed!!! yippee!

Good luck with your new baby and my advice is to just do what you can to get enough sleep for yourself and your family and trust that you will be back in bed with your dh soon enough!


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## elmh23 (Jul 1, 2004)

On the other side of dd. When dd was really little (newborn to just recently, she's 6 months) the bed was against the wall and I was in the middle.


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## dziejen (May 23, 2004)

My dh, youngest dd, and I all sleep in our king-sized bed. Well dh and I start off there but there is always a 3am visitor :LOL Up until recently she slept there full time but now she starts the night in her own bed in her own room. Occasionally dh will sleep on the couch or dd's twin bed but mostly when he is up really late or can't sleep well and doesn't want to keep us up. Not sure how all this will change with baby #3 on the way but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it!


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## ~Nikki~ (Aug 4, 2004)

DH sleeps to the left of me, always. We've both agreed that neither of us would be able to sleep apart! The baby sleeps either in the middle, or on my right side, depending on which side he's eating from. I just kind of roll him over my stomache and flop him onto the other side when it's time to switch.









And would you beleive we're actually in a double bed? Not even a queen! We're planning on investing in a King size bed within the next few months. Our tiny bed is the reason our daughter weaned from co-sleeping so young (16 months - she's 2 years old now and doing great in her own bed, but on the mornings/nights she joins us in our bed, it's pretty cramped :LOL ).


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## ZanZansMommy (Nov 8, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dziejen*
My dh, youngest dd, and I all sleep in our king-sized bed. Well dh and I start off there but there is always a 3am visitor :LOL

Ditto! Except our visitor comes at 5:00 am :LOL Her mattress is on the floor next to our mattress.


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

all together!

-Angela


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## Plummeting (Dec 2, 2004)

We all sleep together in our king size bed. We have a bedrail on my side, but DD can sleep between us also. At first, DH wasn't aware of her, but he has been for the last several months, so she sometimes ends up between the two of us


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## Tuesday (Mar 3, 2003)

Wow, so many king size beds ! We have a double and can't afford a king size right now. We started off with DS in a crib and us in our double (DH already complained about the lack of room back then!). DH works shiftwork and is rarely asleep when I am. Frankly it drove me crazy having him come in and out of the bedroom while I was trying to co-sleep and nurse DH. I'm a light sleeper, DH snores, I was exhausted,







blah blah blah. The best solution and the happiest solution for us is for DH to sleep in guest room while I co-sleep. We're starting to think about transitioning DS to his own bed and frankly I'm kind of dreading having DH back in the bed. I've enjoyed not listening to his snoring! In any case, I think the best arrangement is what works for your family. Both of my sister-in-laws have co-slept and their husbands sleep in separate rooms too! Everyone is happily married too.


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## meowee (Jul 8, 2004)

I suffer from severe sleep disorders/ insomnia/ sleep paralysis/ frequent waking... so DH does the cosleeping with the older kids. I do cosleep with the nursing babies till I can no longer do it. In between me and being old enough to sleep with DH they are in a crib.

So, DH sleeps downstairs with the older kids on the sofa bed and there is a mattress and futon on the floor of the same room.


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## Calidris (Apr 17, 2004)

We sleep together just like the smilie in my sig (except most the time dd has her legs on DP's chest and her head by my boob :LOL ). And we do it on a standard double bed


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## mommy2julia (Mar 15, 2005)

We all sleep in the same bed. We have a queen (from IKEA though) Its pretty small so when DD started to wiggle alot more we put her crib on as a side care. She sleeps there till I have to nurse her on the other side..Then its just me, DD, and my DH... We are all happy co-sleepers!!!


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## mommamin (May 19, 2005)

DD sleeps inbetween us. DH is a heavy sleeper and was nervous at first.







Now he loves it! He won't admit it outright but he does







We have a queen. He keeps teasing that he is going to get his own bed b/c we are bed hogs, which is NO TRUE! :LOL

I just don't know what to do when we have babe #2 and if DD is still sleeping with us







I guess we will have to get a king!


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## MTBto5 (Jul 13, 2004)

We sleep with the baby in the middle of us and our 3 yr old on the other side of me. Someday we will sleep next to eachother again :LOL


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## Past_VNE (Dec 13, 2003)

All together in a king. It's lovely.


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## nannymom (Jan 23, 2004)

We all sleep together in a double and it's nice but very snuggly. I also want to add that your DH sleeping some where else for a little while may not be as awful as it sounds. What will matter at first is that all of you sleep.


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## liam's mom (Jun 18, 2003)

we all sleep together.


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## Mama Bee (Aug 20, 2003)

nak

we all sleep together. a queen mattress, a twin mattress pushed up into a corner on the floor. 3 yr old on the twin in the corner, dh beside him, then me, then baby on the outside w/ pillows on the floor. it's become a little tight for me now that baby has learned to push himself closer to me during the night. Usually that only happens when he's ready to nurse. I nurse him, scoot him back over and it's all good until the next nursing time. Good luck! Co-sleeping is one of the best decisions we've made!!


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## AugustineM (Mar 21, 2005)

We all sleep together, too, and my DH loves it most of the time. DS went through a rough period of waking all night long and DH wasn't so happy then, because he has to work early (like 6am). But he stuck with it because for both of us it's important to sleep together. He slept a few nights on a pad on our floor, or in the baby's room







when he got too tired. It gets easier, though, and now we all sleep better. I think it takes a little getting used to for many partners, but it does become very comfortable!


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## delicious (Jun 16, 2003)

before ds, dh, dd and i all slept together in a king. then we pushed a twin mattress up next to the king sized one for dh to sleep in, or sometimes dd. (we took our bed apart and have the mattress on the floor, so if someone falls out it's not a big deal.)

dd wants to sleep in her bed sometimes, and when she does, dh sleeps w ds and i.


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## Mama Bee (Aug 20, 2003)

I wanted to add that before DS#2 was born, we slept basically the same way except for the beginning of the night. Usually, DS#1 needs cuddles with me to fall asleep so he would/will fall asleep next to me and then DH moves him over to the little bed up against the wall. DS#1 is a very active sleeper so he would often end up at the foot of the bed or on DH or his head on one of us and his feet on the other.


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## chefkath (Jan 24, 2003)

When DD was an infant (and an only child) she slept between us on a queen sized bed. When DS came along we upgraded to a King and for the first 7-8 months or so we all slept together, with DS in the middle and DD on the edge. But DS has always been a terrible sleeper, and we eventually figured out that he sleeps much more soundly without me there.







(As I do without him - my insomnia is really exacerbated by his needing to be lying on top of me all night long to sleep.)

So about a year ago, once DS was night weaned, we made new arrangements. We all snuggle together at bedtime until the kids fall asleep, and then DD and I sleep on the hideabed in the living room while DS and DH sleep together in the bedroom. (Occasionally we'll all sleep together for old times' sake, but when we do we always remember why we stopped doing it that way! )

This arrangement has worked out great, and DH and I don't have any issues about not sleeping together. It would be nice - of course! - but we had many years of it before the kids came along and we'll have many more down the road, so giving it up for a while to maintain our committment to co-sleeping doesn't seem like a big deal. The important thing to us is that every family member has *someone* to sleep with, and everyone has a chance to get a good night's sleep.

Best of luck to you. Co-sleeping is so wonderful!


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## wende (Oct 4, 2003)

Like in my siggy only the big people are in the middle and the kids are on the outside. That is, until the 2yo decides he wants to nurse and then it goes dh, 2yo, me, 3mo.


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## Sandrine (Apr 14, 2004)

We have a double and a twin beside it. DD2 starts in her bed(crib) then will join us in the double. Then dh will move to the single. DD1 is in her bed but will sometimes come in with us and sleep with dh in the single. Both don't move much.


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## Rox5266 (Nov 26, 2004)

Dh started off sleeping with us but moved to the couch and stayed there







because ds is a frequent waker and he says, "I don't have boobs." My dh also snores REALLY loudly, sometimes I can't sleep in the bedroom with the door closed - can still hear him! If he ever moves back, which I have invited him too, I will probably move to the couch!









So ds and I share the queen, which is sometimes too small the way he rolls around and sprawls! I'm getting a toddler bed which I will put next to our bed, and if ds adjusts, dh may return.

Roxanne
Daniel 8/9/03


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## KyleAnn (May 24, 2004)

98% of the time the three of us sleep together (queen), me, ds, dh.








The other 2%, ds is a super-thrasher-kicking-kung Fu-master, and my dh cannot take it...so he then sneaks away in the night, to the spare bedroom.
This is a more recent thing though, and we have discussed it-he prefers to keep it a family bed and just leave when he needs to, rather than give it up all together.







My sweetheart.


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## Kira's mom (Nov 30, 2004)

We have a california king. It's just Dh Dd and i. sometimes during the week dh will sleep in the guest room.I hardly even notice anymore whenn dd wakes to nurse,Dd really likes to stretch out on his head/chest etc. and he gets up early for work.On the weekend we all sleep together.


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## Soledad (May 12, 2005)

We have a queen size bed(wedding gift from mil ) ds sleeps in the middle or to my left. Depends which side he nurses on. In the begining , my hubby didn't want to share the bed cause he said he needed his sleep. Well a few months later he changed his mind and LOVES sleeping with his son. :LOL


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## fremontmama (Jun 11, 2004)

the three of us sleep in our double bed together. its pretty cozy, so some nights dh goes to the couch halfway through the night. we also have a co-sleeper on my side of the bed that i use like a bedside table and also for security (since i am so close to the edge of the bed most of the time :LOL )


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## IncaMama (Jun 23, 2004)

we have a king and DS sleeps btwn us.


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## SHK (Jun 17, 2005)

We share a queen sized bed with me in the middle....works fine and everyone sleeps well, though I wish we had bought the kind size bed when we just got a new bed!!!!!!!!!!!! My daughter is a bed hog and ends up with half the bed..at 2 months she has worked out how to snake her way closer and closer!!!!


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## Trinitty (Jul 15, 2004)

Wow! What a response!

Thanks for all of your thoughts Mommas!

I'm planning for babies within the next two years, and cosleeping really appeals to me, I sometimes fall asleep thinking about it.









We already cosleep with two cats, so, I'm sure that we'll be okay with babies... though I'm sure we're going to have to get a DOG for the cats to go and sleep with, our male likes to flop onto our faces and sleep in my hair, and I can't risk that with a baby... so, that will be a challenge.

I was thinking about getting a crib and side-carring it to our bed when the time comes. That way there's only one purchase and I'll know that the baby can't roll off of the bed. I can use it as a playpen later when the baby is older too, I think.

I'm really encouraged by all of your responses! THANK YOU MOMMAS!


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## Pandora114 (Apr 21, 2005)

Trinitty: Don't underestimate your cats, seriously. My Stuffy Kitty *RIP Feb-04* Used to sleep with me n DD all the time *Single mom at the time so the SO question really doenst come into play LOL. DD is in her own room now too* He was wonderful with her. Even slept next to her on the bed and purred her to sleep alot of the times. He loved her and she loved him. He used to flop in my face all the time too. But he was gentle gentle with DD. Used to ham it up to make her laugh her little punkin butt off too...*sigh* Too bad DH is allergic to cats...


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## Trinitty (Jul 15, 2004)

Oh! Well, that is encouraging!

I love our kitties, I even make their food, and I know that our male would REALLY miss sleeping with us. We'll see how it works out. My DH and I were both raised with cats, I hope it works out.

Thanks for the tips.


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## Periwinkle (Feb 27, 2003)

Next to me. We have a queen size bed and we're not small people either. Baby sleeps next to me, but not in between. It's not an issue. Dh raves all the time about how much sleep he's getting compared to last time with the twins (who didn't cosleep for a variety of reasons). He hardly even stirs when I nurse the baby, lucky guy!


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## Pandora114 (Apr 21, 2005)

oh yeah he was in the room when she was born too. He curled up in the small of my back and let his motor run while I was labouring *kinda sleeping on gravol because I was puking and mw said take it or get admitted* Each time I had a ctx he pushed harder on my back giving me counter pressure. I didn't want a human touching me, just Stuffykitty. *I couldn't have my jacuzzi..oh well* And then when it came to push, he went under the bed so the midwives couldn't really kick him out but he also wouldn't be excluded either. I miss him...







I hope DH gets his allergy shots going again and we can pick up a Siberian cat before our next kiddo comes along...


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## bcky2 (May 30, 2005)

dh sleeps on the couch but he snores reall really bad so no one gets any sleep around him. remember the flinstones? my dh sounds like fred :LOL

becky







:


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## Pandora114 (Apr 21, 2005)

lol bcky: My hubby sounds the same way when his allergies act up...and I sound the same way too. We wake each other up sometimes with our snores.


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## Trinitty (Jul 15, 2004)

That sounds really cool Pandora!

Don't you just love the midwife service in Ontario? I hope other women are able to have access very soon too. That study that came out this week should really help that. It showed that homebirths with midwives are just as safe as low risk births in hospitals with GPs... but with way fewer interventions. We already know that of course, but, it's still nice to see it out there.


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## Pandora114 (Apr 21, 2005)

Quebec just started covering homebirths in January of this year
BC has had it covered as long, if not longer than Ontario.
It's on the table in Nova Scotia and Alberta.

See, the provinces aren't really concerned about safety factor, they are more concerned about COST. What is cheaper, what is more cost effective. Till they see some acctual numbers from the provinces that cover midwifery, then they won't budge.









You know, I'd kinda freak out if I got one of the midwives I had in Hamilton. According to my old mw practice, my primary mw semi-retired. Who knows where she's semi-practicing lol. She was alot less MED wifey than my secondary mw...*sigh* Enough ranting, I gotta go to bed..*grabs some towels in case the puddle DD left on my bed isn't dry yet*


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## peacefulmom (Jul 20, 2002)

hubbie sleeps on a twin with my 3 year old and I am in our bed with 11 month old and preparing for #3 too....we startedout in same but hubbie couldnt sleep...so







i miss him


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## EnviroBecca (Jun 5, 2002)

We have 2 bedrooms, double bed in each. They are "the bedroom" and "the nursery". The bedroom is where my partner and I store our clothes and have adult hang-out time...meaning sex when baby's asleep, or just relaxing alone or with a visiting friend while the other parent takes care of the baby. The nursery has the changing table, rocking chair, etc. EnviroBaby always sleeps in the nursery, and I do almost all my sleeping there--the only exception is if I fall asleep cuddling EnviroDaddy in the bedroom, in which case I move into the nursery next time baby wakes. We have phases where the whole family sleeps together in the nursery (we are skinny and feel the bed is big enough), but mostly EnviroDaddy sleeps alone in the bedroom to avoid being awakened during the night.

Pre-parenthood, we had some issues because I like to sleep w/someone all the time, whereas my partner sometimes finds the mere presence of another person distracting. He needs a lot more sleep than I do and has a lot more trouble being a competent, pleasant person if he's low on sleep! Despite understanding that intellectually, I felt hurt at times when he wanted to sleep in the spare room (now nursery). It's wonderful to have someone else to sleep with all the time now!









When baby was very young and could be difficult during the night, we made a rule that EnviroDaddy would come in and help if he heard extended wailing, and if he didn't show up I could knock on the bedroom door and expect him to get up and help me immediately. That helped me avoid feeling "abandoned" to nighttime parenting all on my own.

Trinitty, good for you for thinking about this in advance! Make sure to talk w/your partner so you can learn each other's feelings on the subject and figure out what's likely to work best for you and what are the backup plans.


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## RubyWild (Apr 7, 2004)

My husband sleeps in our bed and always did, but if for some reason all three of us couldn't sleep in one bed, then we'd rather it be at a 30-something year old man's expense than at our daughter's.


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## Chelly2003 (Jan 5, 2003)

dh sleeps in the living room on a mattress on the floor. he's been doing that for about 6 months now (gillian is 19mths) all the waking up at night got to much for him - he only gets about 5 or 6 hours on a good night anyway as he has to be up at 3:30 am to get to work!

Chelly


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## lisawm (Feb 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tuesday*
Wow, so many king size beds ! We have a double and can't afford a king size right now. We started off with DS in a crib and us in our double (DH already complained about the lack of room back then!). DH works shiftwork and is rarely asleep when I am. Frankly it drove me crazy having him come in and out of the bedroom while I was trying to co-sleep and nurse DH. I'm a light sleeper, DH snores, I was exhausted,







blah blah blah. The best solution and the happiest solution for us is for DH to sleep in guest room while I co-sleep. We're starting to think about transitioning DS to his own bed and frankly I'm kind of dreading having DH back in the bed. I've enjoyed not listening to his snoring! In any case, I think the best arrangement is what works for your family. Both of my sister-in-laws have co-slept and their husbands sleep in separate rooms too! Everyone is happily married too.

This sounds like us too. Dh slept with us for the first couple months to help out with the changing & since I had a c-section just moving around. But he never really felt comfortable and his snoring drove me crazy! (I guess I was just a heavier sleeper before getting pregnant.) He wasn't working at the time, and now that he's back to work doing long hours and getting up really early, it's actually easier for him to sleep in another room (the living room couch) since we both need more uninterupted sleep. When I tell select people that dh doesn't sleep with us they're usually shocked and have a sad look on their face, but it's really not that bad. We have to make special time for us to be together. I do miss having him sleep next to me, but so far we've done ok. Ds is 17 months now and we're talking about other options (king size bed if we can afford it, using ds's crib as a side car - he rarely uses it now, but it's in our room). You just have to make a special effort to have "couple" time, which is never a bad thing when you have kids anyway. Believe me, co-sleeping is worth working it all out!


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## Aquarian2366 (Jun 28, 2005)

At first we all slept together in a queen size bed, but the baby began moving too much and keeping DD awake. Since he was the one who had to go out to work, me and the baby moved to a mattress on the floor in her room. DD also snores, so this way everbody gets good rest. We also thought it would be easier to get me out of the baby's bed than to get her out of our bed (when the time comes). My husband is okay with this arrangement as he realizes it is just temporary.


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## SparklyMoose (Feb 13, 2005)

My 9 week old son sleeps between us, and we have a double bed. My husband has decided that we need a bigger bed, though. The baby gets squirmy and kicky when he wakes up hungry, and "poor Daddy" is getting kicked in the butt!


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## momofelise (Apr 13, 2005)

We all sleep in a king; dd in the middle.


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## crunchykids (Jun 14, 2005)

We didn't think that we would be able to afford a king size either. Our compromise was a king size futon on the floor, granted we still only have one set of sheets because they are outrageously expensive and I'm constantly battling the shedded dog hair on the floor. But the futon is actually better for dh's back than the bed and having the futon on the floor addresses the falling off the bed issue. dd (bed) and ds (crib) start the night in the nursery (we transitioned dd to her own bed about three months before ds's birth because dh thought the bed was too small for everyone, she never slept in the crib, but ds is a much different sleeper than she was :LOL ), dd is welcome to join dh and I at anytime as long as she doesn't wake anybody up and dh brings ds to bed at his first night waking.


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## jessjgh1 (Nov 4, 2004)

Oh, I'm so jealous of everyone with the family bed.

I cosleep, but dh does not. He's a light sleeper and ds's night wakings don't allow him to get the rest he needs to function at work.

So, I'm a mommy bedhopper and start off by getting ds to sleep in a double bed (the crib is sidecarred, but it holds toys, books- rarely a sleeping baby- lol). Then I have some free "me" time (to spend on MDC, for example). Then I'll have some snuggletime with dh. Usually I wait for dh to fall asleep and then go in the other room to be with ds when he wakes up.

It works okay most of the times, but I'd love to wake up to both of my guys instead of having to split the time between them. I wouldn't give up cosleeping with my son while he is so young. I tell my husband that we will have many more years to make up for this- in any case if he's asleep he doesn't need me there.

There are a lot of ways to make it work. If you have a challenge like I had (dh was just exhausted and started sleeping on the couch), you have to try different things till you find something that works for ALL of you. That meant for me I have to be sure that dh understands my sons need and find a way to make time for dh. And I have to make sure I am getting enough sleep, too.

I remember, a few times I tried to put my son in a crib and get him to sleep that way. I don't know how people do it. After about 1 minute my back was killing me. It was just so much easier to go lie down and snuggle with him- and so much more relaxing and comfy for ME.

I was dead-set against cosleeping till I had my son. I truly regret not cosleeping from the first night on (we did have the cosleeper, thank goodness). I just think about it and think- what else can a newborn want but to be HELD. Why did I waste time trying to comfort him standing up. What else do new parents want but to SLEEP. Have both!

My husband even agrees that we all slept better when we cosleep.

Good luck new mommas!

Jessica


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## Smithie (Dec 4, 2003)

My dh, my ds, my cat and one of my dogs slept peacefully in our king-sized bed for about six months, then ds strongly advocated for a transition to his crib by waking up and crying whenever any of the rest of us moved in the slightest bit. He is one of those people who sleeps best in silence and darkness. He continued to wake up for a night feeding for several more months, and I'd go into his room and feed him. That was MUCH harder, I sort of hope that my next baby continues to cosleep until s/he is nightweaned.

I was prepared to banish my pets indefinitely, and dh was prepared to leave for at least a few months, but he tried sleeping with us and found that he was aware of the baby's presence even in his sleep. Similarly, the cat relocated to the end of the bed and the dog did likewise. All the problems I'd anticipated did not materialize - I hope you have the same experience!

I


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## mom2fourwildones (May 5, 2005)

Well my DH and I have a Cali King Waterbed and when one person moves we all move :LOL So DD and I sleep on the twin bed in the nursery. I am seriously thinking of switching beds with my 11 year old DD (she has a queen)and giving her the twin because my 6 month old DD likes to sleep in the MIDDLE of the twin bed all sprawled out and that doesnt leave much room for mommy!


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## momRN (Jun 11, 2005)

My husband sleeps on the recliner in the living room-as many of you have mentioned, my hubby also snores like crazy and I have a hard enough time sleeping as it is-so he'll start the night out with me and our 14mos old daughter sometimes and once he really gets going with the snoring I tap him on the shoulder and off he goes (he never remembers this the next day so his sleep does not get disturbed







Oddly enough, when our baby was first born he chose to sleep in the other room because he was worried about waking her up, but the only person his snoring keeps up is me








For those of you who have financial issues with the king beds and sheets-check out Marshall's-they have whole sets for $39!!! My husband and I are looking to upgrade from our queen to a king and had also worried about being able to afford bedding, etc.
It all comes down to doing what works for your family.
Lastly, NO MATTER WHAT-DO NOT LISTEN TO OUTSIDE CRITICISM!!!-even if it comes from your family who you love so much-you just stick to what you know in your heart and home feels right!!!


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## mommytoannalena (Jun 28, 2005)

We just got my 23 month old daughter to her own bed, and it's kind of nice to have the space again, but her bed is still in our room. Plus when she gets up in the morning (usually way before we want to on the weekends)







she gets in bed with us and cuddles right in the middle...








Other people, like at my work, have made me feel strange at times for a child "so old" sleeping in our bed still.. But she's a very smart, stable child, not clingy or anything else that is stereotypically associated with this... (according to a few people, not all of course)


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## HollyBearsMom (May 13, 2002)

This would be us....







just add 2 dogs!


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## kurbis (Jun 9, 2005)

dh and I sleep on the outside with baby in the middle.

However, ds is 6 mo old and just started crawling and I am concerned for his safety when only one of us is in the bed with him at a time. We have a queen size bed and because of the room's window configuration can't put it up against the wall. Ds likes to crawl OVER things, ie. pillows, barriers.

Any suggestions?


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## MamaRenee (Feb 16, 2002)

We sleep all together, four in a bed. We have a king with a twin bed adjacent to it. My almost 5 y.o. sleeps mostly in the twin but comes over for cuddles. The almost two y.o. switches sides nursing throughout the night so sometimes I'm next to dh and sometimes ds is in the middle.

I wouldn't have it any other way.


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## wendy1221 (Feb 9, 2004)

We just moved. Before we moved we had the crib set up as a sidecar to our king. Ds1, almost 6, slept in there (we thought he'd move to his own bed after ds2 was born, but that didn't happen. LOL! The crib was supposed to be for ds2.) I realized he'd ruined the crib mattress cuz he's too heavy a few months ago. Anyway, when we moved, we didn't set up any beds. We put ds1's twin mattress on the floor against the wall in the master bedroom adn our king sie mattress next to and against it. Ds1 sleeps in there. Ds2 has started sleeping through the night again (he's done it off and on since 4 mos) since my milk supply sropped/dried up from this pregnancy. Half the time, he ends up on the twin bed w/ his brother for some reason. I think he just likes to snuggle with him. Who knows. I actually sleep on the open end of the king so that I can get up and go to the bathroom without flopping all over everybody. So he starts out between dh and me, nursing, then when he's done, he crawls over dh usually. He doesn't like to snuggle w/ me ever. He's daddy's boy. So then he's between dh and ds1. Sometimes he stays between us and usually I know I'm in for it that night w/ a lot of nursing. I think he's starting to cut his 2 year molars but they only bother him once in a while.

Btw, ds1 slept in his own bed from about 15 mos to 3 years. Dh and I got married (he's ds's stepdad though no one would guess it) when he was 3. A few months after that, he started sleeping w/ us. Dh coslept as a baby and so did I, so it didn't really bother either of us. I think he just needed to extra reassurance that we loved him w/ us getting married and moving 2 states away from family he was used to living near, etc. THen he suddenly had a new baby brotehr. Now, we've just accepted that he likes sleeping w/ us and we're fine w/ it. We did struggle for a while trying to get him into his own bed again, but after many discussions we realized that we both actually liked having him there and were only trying to move him out because we felt it was what we were supposed to do. So now we're just going w/ what feels right.


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## HoneyMama (Jun 29, 2005)

We are planning a large family so I gave up some time ago on the idea that "this is just for a couple years" . I am expecting baby # 3 now with a 4 year old dd, a two year old ds and my husband in bed with me. We use a king size mattress minus the box spring and we put it on the floor so we don't worry about children falling off.

As our first two children have gotten older, we have added a toddler bed on one side of our mattress and some blankets in the shape of a toddler bed on the other side. Sometimes the children start out in their own beds and migrate up to ours and sometimes they start out in our bed and we move them to theirs if we decided they are in the way...

Now I am working on weaning my very attatched two year old onto his own bed instead of with me. Our plan is to switch sides of the bed so that he starts out sleeping near dh and I start out with dd. dd is much more willing to accept that a baby will need me when the time comes, whereas I am convinced ds would feel kicked out of the nest if I replace him with a baby. My dd has been asking for bunk beds for months now, so when we need more room she will get her own bed and the cycle will continue.

I hope this is helpful, as I didn't find any posts with a similar solution to ours yet.


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## MotherWhimsey (Mar 21, 2005)

We didn't mean to cosleep, it just happened. She wouldn't sleep without us. at first my husband was so nervous, he slept at the foot of the bed for two months.







but he got over it and now we're all squished into a queen size bed. If you can afford it, go out and get the biggest bed you can find.
Mother whimsey


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## lizard (Apr 22, 2003)

We started out all sleeping in our king size bed, with ds between us.
Now we have a toddler bed next to our bed where ds starts the night
out. Dh sleeps in the king size bed, and i sleep in the guest room.
When i try to sleep with them, ds is all over me and i can't sleep. with
daddy, he wakes up crawls into bed with him and goes back to sleep.
i come in when dh goes to work in the morning. then we nurse, cuddle
and sleep a few more hours.


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## JennyClaire (Jun 5, 2005)

DD (now 13) has slept through the night since she was 6 weeks old, and (except for trips) also slept on her own.

DH, DS and I sleep together in a double bed







. However, for the past few weeks, I always sleep in the middle because DH rolled over on 10-month-old DS, and really freaked us out.







:

However, we







co-sleeping, and can't wait until DS is a little bigger and can be back in the middle sometimes! DH misses him, and I feel like peanut butter in a sandwich!


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## momRN (Jun 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kurbis*
dh and I sleep on the outside with baby in the middle.

However, ds is 6 mo old and just started crawling and I am concerned for his safety when only one of us is in the bed with him at a time. We have a queen size bed and because of the room's window configuration can't put it up against the wall. Ds likes to crawl OVER things, ie. pillows, barriers.

Any suggestions?


My 14 mo old girl is a crawler/climber too and we also can't put the bed up against the wall. our solution (though we always look for new things to try) has been to put our queen mattress on the floor and also put giant pillows around the perimeter of the bed just in case she still rolls off or climbs over my husband or myself (it's not a far drop obviously, but I'd rather her land on something comfy than the floor itself). So far this has worked well for us. Now that she is getting older and needing more space, we're thinking about just putting a crib or twin mattress on the floor next to us for her to have by herself but still have us super close by. We have also baby-proofed our room to the max in case she climbs off the mattress and decides to explore while we are not the most alert


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## Mamajamz (Oct 31, 2002)

I didn't read the other posts, so hopefully this isn't a repeat, but I'm thinking that when your baby is past this crawling stage he will settle down more. THey tend to "practice" new devel. milestones even when sleeping. We've never had a little one fall off the bed even without barriers. I always wake up when they start to be restless. DH sleeps in the floor part time when one of the older kids comes in. He likes it though. Good for his back and I sleep better too when there isn't more than 2 or 3 people in the bed. Sometimes I escape to my son's bed when he comes in our room. It's musical beds! We have a bed rail on baby's side of the bed and I also put pillows up against the bed rail. He would have to crawl backwards down to the bottom of the bed to escape. I guess you could also put some pillows on the floor to break the fall if worse came to worse. We've also tried the side car arrangement but the babies always preferred to be close. Good luck!


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## ZachZ (May 8, 2003)

We all sleep in the king bed. dw and I on the outer rims, with ds in the middle. Sometimes ds likes to stretch out like a cat and consume 2/3 of the king's lateral space, but mostly he snuggles up next to either of us. I am unable recollect if there was a time I wasn't "aware" of ds being there. Oh, I guess at first we had ds on the other side of dw (near the edge of the bed) with the bed against the wall. Our bed is purposefully only a mattress (sp?).

edit to add: momRN, excellent idea about using giant pillows!


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## kiahnsmum (Oct 22, 2004)

It has been musical beds around here for ages, before our current situation ds and dd slept in bed with me and dh was in a seperate bedroom (the snorer from hell). Now we have just bought a bunk bed whick is pushed up against our bed, ds (5) is on the top bunk which he was so excited about so he doesnt mind not being in with me, dd is still in with me and dh can cuddle up next to me then roll over to the bottom bunk if he wants. If we have another baby we will hopefull be able to wean dd into the bottom bunk


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## Kira's mom (Nov 30, 2004)

I've posted here before and not to stray, but dd actually fell off our bed once. It's a big pillowtop high off the floor and once i was nursing her and I guess she was too close to the edge.It was awful but mostly for us. She barely cried and nursed right back to sleep.BTW we have hard word floors. She was maybe 10 months old.They are so resilient. She is also one tough girl. We don't have room next to the bed for another matress and we just got the bed before she was born/knew our sleeping arrangement.She's now 27 mos and seems to be quite in control, but i still put pillows all over.Sometimes dh sleps in the guestroom. The family cat seems to have finally transitioned to hisown bed at age 13!


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## Monkeybutt (Apr 26, 2005)

We all sleep together.


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## MrsNavigator (Jun 26, 2005)

I had the same question and was so pleased to come and find the awnsers here....

my DH is a snoring monster, so he sleeps in the guest room more because I can't sleep through the noise.

DD and I are in a Queen on the floor of our carpeted bedroom.

When DH looses some weight (to cut down on the snoring, I sort of like him squishy but it ups the snoring volume) I'm hoping he'll come on back to the Queen where we sleep...


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## mizraim (Jun 24, 2005)

together on a king size.


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## caeleen (Jun 30, 2005)

Our solution was to remove one side of the crib, place it against our bed and voila we can all sleep. Good luck do what works best for you!!!!

Colleen


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## VioletPlum (Mar 1, 2005)

We all sleep in the same bed. Our daughter is usually in the middle.


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## Trinitty (Jul 15, 2004)

What a great response!!

Thanks Mommas, I'm encouraged!


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## Pookietooth (Jul 1, 2002)

My dh usually sleeps on the couch, as he is a light sleeper and a restless sleeper and has never been able to stay in bed all night, even before ds. He actually prefers the firmness of the folded up futon we use for a sofa.


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## Bufomander (Feb 6, 2005)

The three of us sleep together, dd sometimes between us and sometimes on the other side of me. My husband is occasionally woken by her, but not any more than i am, and he loves to interact with her in bed -- the other morning he was woken up by her gently patting his face!


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