# How's this for an insensitive comment?



## veganmama719 (Sep 15, 2007)

A long time ago, the trainer at my gym told me his "wife couldn't have kids". I was, of course, sad to hear that. He was very nonchalant like he didn't care at all. I thought that maybe it was his way of protecting himself, KWIM?

So I never told him I was PG or had m/c becasue I am not seeing him for individual sessions anymore. I had however told my yoga teacher who I guess told him.

This was the conversation today while I was doing some crunches waiting for my yoga class to start:

Trainer: (laughing) I guess it didn't work out eh?
Me: Excuse me?
Trainer: (still laughing) So, are you disappointed?
Me: Well, yes. Yes, I am.
Trainer: See, that's the difference between men and women.
Me: (incredulous) What????
Trainer: Women get upset by that kind of stuff
Me: (boiling mad and just saying the first stupid thing I could think of) Well, maybe that's because you are not the one that has to bleed your baby out of you for 3 weeks.
Trainer: (laughing some more) Ha ha, you crack me up!

WTF???????


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

I think it's time for a new trainer.


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## Kayda's Mom (Feb 5, 2007)

OMG!
Maybe he would like to talk to my DH who took a week off of work and bawled night and day about our lost baby.
All I can say is he is lucky to have a wife at this point. If my DH were like that I would have sent him packing....and I am not kidding.
Our m/c has brought us closer together and the emotional pain is very real for BOTH of us.
I am really sorry you had to listen to somebody like this. I would find a new trainer asap.


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## Eliseatthebeach (Sep 20, 2007)

I think you should call the OWNER of that gym right away. If this person cannot communicate with people in an appropriate way then he is not doing his job. I would seriously bypass any and all management, don't even start there.....find out who the owner is and tell him/her how incredibly offended you were by his remarks.
It's one thing for him to be insensitive if you initiate the conversation, but it sounds like he approached you about it. Why would he even do that if he had nothing nice to say? I don't get it, it's almost as if he was trying to make you feel worse!!















don't let him treat you like that, you don't deserve it....especially after what you have been through.


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## veganmama719 (Sep 15, 2007)

Thanks guys. The gym is in my office building and is owned by the property management company.

I am actually "gym friends" with one of the managers of the building and she had a m/c at 11 weeks last fall. She would have been due next month. I will speak to her about it.

But you are right, he approached me. Sat down beside me as I was doing crunches on a ball.

Why say anything at all if you can't be nice?

I don't use him any more, it was just to get me used to the gym when I first joined. Thank goodness.

My DH was just as devastated as I was, of course.

I just don't see how anyone could be that insensitive.

There were other people around who heard all this too!


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## Amydoula (Jun 20, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *veganmama719* 
A long time ago, the trainer at my gym told me his "wife couldn't have kids". I was, of course, sad to hear that. He was very nonchalant like he didn't care at all. I thought that maybe it was his way of protecting himself, KWIM?

So I never told him I was PG or had m/c becasue I am not seeing him for individual sessions anymore. I had however told my yoga teacher who I guess told him.

This was the conversation today while I was doing some crunches waiting for my yoga class to start:

Trainer: (laughing) I guess it didn't work out eh?
Me: Excuse me?
Trainer: (still laughing) So, are you disappointed?
Me: Well, yes. Yes, I am.
Trainer: See, that's the difference between men and women.
Me: (incredulous) What????
Trainer: Women get upset by that kind of stuff
Me: (boiling mad and just saying the first stupid thing I could think of) Well, maybe that's because you are not the one that has to bleed your baby out of you for 3 weeks.
Trainer: (laughing some more) Ha ha, you crack me up!

WTF???????


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## mytwogirls (Jan 3, 2008)

It would be at point when I would kick the a$$hole right square in the balls! Hell, who needs a trainer like that







!!! OMG, that comment makes me WAYYYY beyond pissed off.

Rant mode off now: I am so very sorry for your loss. Please be kind to yourself and take care. We are here for you mama.


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## texaspeach (Jun 19, 2005)

If someone in a professional capacity said something like that to me, I'd have their head on a plate.


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## Quaniliaz (Oct 11, 2002)

ick...what a slimy guy.


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## apmama2myboo (Mar 30, 2005)

he's a lot of things that rhyme with "stick" but i'll leave it at that. wow. that's terrible. i'm so sorry you had to endure that insensitive a$$. as my dd would say, "What a big meaner!"


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## ChristyM26 (Feb 26, 2006)

I'm speechless. If any male in 100 yards of me said something like that to me, I would castrate them. And that's probably a nice thing to do.


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## Funny Face (Dec 7, 2006)

Ewwww. That is AWFUL! I'm so sorry you had someone speak to you like that! I would definitely report him. I'd be calm and demand that something be done about his behavior. He was insensitive to say the least but he also revealed private information to the other people within earshot.








I'm so sorry for your loss.


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## Dena (May 29, 2006)

Wow. Insenstive is not the word. More like mean, cruel, cold, and heartless.

I would definitely report him.

And he is wrong, it is not the difference between men and women, it is the difference between him and people with a pulse. He is totally missing a section of his brain or something.








I am so sorry you had to deal with that. I hope he keeps his distance from you in the future. And if he doesn't I would not hesitate at all to ask him bluntly to do so.


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## Gwendolyn's babies (Nov 22, 2007)

whoa, what a sad individual he is. Doesn't seem like he has true values. I would speak to him about his insensitivites.


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## SeekingSerenity (Aug 6, 2006)

I absolutely canNOT believe he would think that is even a vaguely acceptable thing to say!!!!

I'm so sorry, mama!!!









As my DH would say, that guy needs to have his a$$ removed. (and then be smacked in the head with it, IMO.)


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## fenix (Apr 22, 2006)

I can't believe he said that to you!!! How terribly heartless. I too would talk to a manager about his behavior. He should not be allowed to be in his position interacting with people if he can't keep his rude and callous opinions to himself. I am so very sorry you had to endure that. I can't fathom why some people don't have the slightest idea what this means.







to you Mama. Like others said, it isn't a difference between men and women. My dh has been very sad along with me over our very recent loss.


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## chel (Jul 24, 2004)

wow, just think what the wife has to deal with.
sounds like he really doesn't want dc!
I mean, I could possible find some denial techniques going on with the first couple of lines, but no sane person should be "cracked up" over a m/c and even crazier to say such a thought outloud, completely off their rocker to say it to a person that had a m/c.


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## birthangeldoula (Feb 1, 2008)

The nerve of this guy... ugh.


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## Got_Cloth (May 14, 2005)

that is horrible. I am so sorry you had to hear that!!!


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## SweetTeach (Oct 5, 2003)

Wow. Just wow.


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## momz3 (May 1, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *veganmama719* 
A long time ago, the trainer at my gym told me his "wife couldn't have kids". I was, of course, sad to hear that. He was very nonchalant like he didn't care at all. I thought that maybe it was his way of protecting himself, KWIM?

So I never told him I was PG or had m/c becasue I am not seeing him for individual sessions anymore. I had however told my yoga teacher who I guess told him.

This was the conversation today while I was doing some crunches waiting for my yoga class to start:

Trainer: (laughing) I guess it didn't work out eh?
Me: Excuse me?
Trainer: (still laughing) So, are you disappointed?
Me: Well, yes. Yes, I am.
Trainer: See, that's the difference between men and women.
Me: (incredulous) What????
Trainer: Women get upset by that kind of stuff
Me: (boiling mad and just saying the first stupid thing I could think of) Well, maybe that's because you are not the one that has to bleed your baby out of you for 3 weeks.
Trainer: (laughing some more) Ha ha, you crack me up!

WTF???????


Oh, I would have went off.








sorry you have to be around that


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## NullSet (Dec 19, 2004)

I feel really bad for his wife. I wonder if he's even still married. His comments to you were horrible.


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## lovbeingamommy (Jun 17, 2007)

I am so so sorry you had to hear those comments from such an insensitive, idiot!!


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dena* 
Wow. Insenstive is not the word. More like mean, cruel, cold, and heartless.

I would definitely report him.

And he is wrong, it is not the difference between men and women, it is the difference between him and people with a pulse. He is totally missing a section of his brain or something.








I am so sorry you had to deal with that. I hope he keeps his distance from you in the future. And if he doesn't I would not hesitate at all to ask him bluntly to do so.









:
Yeah to all of that. This guy has some kind of serious mental malfunction. I've never met a man who would act like that, even the ones who don't want or even like kids. Wow.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby.


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## treemom2 (Oct 1, 2003)

I am so sorry you had to hear that! I would be so mad and upset. . .ugh!


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## Matilda_z (Dec 9, 2005)

Now there's a person with a serious problem.


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## SinginMamaTo2 (Feb 26, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Eliseatthebeach* 
I think you should call the OWNER of that gym right away. If this person cannot communicate with people in an appropriate way then he is not doing his job. I would seriously bypass any and all management, don't even start there.....find out who the owner is and tell him/her how incredibly offended you were by his remarks.
It's one thing for him to be insensitive if you initiate the conversation, but it sounds like he approached you about it. Why would he even do that if he had nothing nice to say? I don't get it, it's almost as if he was trying to make you feel worse!!















don't let him treat you like that, you don't deserve it....especially after what you have been through.

Absolutely let the owner/mamagment know about this a**holes comment!!!
I quit a job because of this very thing. My boss told a client about my m/c. What gives anyone the right to think they can give out this kind of sensitive information?!?!?! When I found out about what he did, I let him know I would not be returning. How could I possibly work for someone I don't trust?!?!
Don't let this guy get away with it.


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## veganmama719 (Sep 15, 2007)

Thanks ladies.

I found out who at the property management company I should talk to. Turns out she and I are very friendly. We talk at the gym and have recently started going for coffee together sometimes.
I know her boss is in town today so I will wait until Monday.
She also had a m/c this past fall and would have been due in April so I know that she absolutely knows how upsetting this would be.

I won't let him get away with it. Not only for myself but because I am worried about him saying something like that to someone else in the future, especially if they were having a harder time coping than I am currently, KWIM?

It amazes me that there are people whose brains work this way.


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## mytwogirls (Jan 3, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *veganmama719* 
It amazes me that there are people whose brains work this way.

Hmm...honey I don't think the man HAS a brain. And if he does he must have it located elsewhere other than between his shoulders and it is used only for decorative purposes only!


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## N8'sMom (Jun 25, 2007)

So sorry for your loss.








I hope that a-hole gets fired and
you never have to see him again.


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## ScootchsMom (Feb 12, 2007)

What an a-hole. I hope he gets in a lot of trouble. How dare he speak to anyone in that way! Go get him girl!


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## gratefulbambina (Mar 20, 2005)

I am in complete shock, is this person human at all???







mama


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## jessicasocean (Mar 21, 2008)

That is the kind of person we should do medical experaments on!!!! Oh the nerve of some people.


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