# wait for things to start or D&C?



## east carolina (Apr 5, 2006)

I am 12 weeks pregnant and I went in for my first ultrasound. The doc said it looks like a missed abortion. I looked at the image and I can't see the baby at all, I googled some images of blighted ova, but I'm not sure that's what happened. At any rate, what I have is not a normal 12 week ultrasound image.

I asked the doc how long he thought the pregnancy had stopped developing. He said he thought at least one week, possibly more, and strongly suggested a D&C.

I have a follow-up ultrasound on Monday to confirm and then I have to tell them what my decision is, whether to wait or to go in for a D&C. I really have no energy to argue with the doc about the merits of waiting, I'm really hoping that if this pregnancy isn't viable, that I pass the baby this week-end. I would really rather miscarry on my own than go in for an abortion.

Any thoughts, adivce, btdt? How long have you waited to miscarry, or how long would you wait? Thanks, mamas.


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## christinespurlock (Oct 10, 2006)

are you spotting or cramping yet?


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## normajean (Oct 21, 2003)

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. It's a tough decision. Carrying a baby you know has died is highly correlated with depression. But, getting a D&C can be a scary, invasive procedure. I've miscarried both at home & at hospital, and I prefer home. I haven't had to have a D&C yet, but I'm waiting to find out if I need one this time around.

Around here, the doctors treat a D&C as a last resort. Where I used to live, it was routine for any pregnancy loss after 8 weeks. There is an herb called Lobelia that will bring on delivery of a missed miscarriage. Check Dr. Christopher's site. http://www.herballegacy.org/Miscarriage.html


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## WaturMama (Oct 6, 2006)

I am so very sorry for your loss.









My situation had similarities to yours, including finding out at my first u/s about the same time (oh so so sad), and having a March 05 ds I was nursing.

I waited 4 weeks, and then I had a d&c. I did not have a d&c until I was fairly certain it wouldn't happen naturally anytime soon if at all. If I had to do it all over again I'd do the exact same thing--not measured by a certain length of time but rather when I felt it was the right thing to do.

Note that if you do a d&c there are a variety of ways it can be done in terms of drugs that are given and you will want to consider how they will affect your nursling.

If you are wanting it to happen naturally and at home, I say go for it. Following your instinct and your heart at this time, I believe, is very important to your grieving process. If it comes to it, don't have an argument with the doctor, just say this is what you are doing. If this doctor isn't someone you feel comfortable having a discussion like that with and it does come to having a d&c, maybe you want to find someone else. As I understand it as long as you are paying attention to your body and aren't seeing any signs of infection (raising temperature, pain in uterus area, foul smelling discharge) there is no rush.

Here is a thread you might find helpful. My story is linked to post #105, but there will be many helpful ones I imagine. http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=404839


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## LuminosaJane (May 10, 2007)

I never had an ultrasound, so I don't know how long I waited, but I miscarried at 11 weeks. It was very painful. Additionally, I retained tissue which became infected 10 days after the mc started which required an emergency d & c. I've now come to find out that the combination of the infection and the d & c has scarred my uterus and might have contributed to my second mc in June.

I was a rare-ish case in that about 20% of people develop a complication after a natural miscarriage and that even fewer have the problems I did afterwards.

Now, if I get pregnant again, they are going to be particularly cautious if I miscarry. My doc said that they would prefer to avoid a d & c because of the risk it carries in damaging the uterus.

I guess the bottom line is that even though the natural miscarriage had problems for me, the d & c seemed to cause more damage even though it was completely necessary. Obviously a catch-22 in my case, but typically, I understand that most natural miscarriages are fine and do not introduce the risk of damaging the uterus.

OTOH, the later the pregnancy goes, the higher your chances are of retained tissue. 12 weeks is usually the cutoff that they note for increased chances of complication with a natural miscarriage.

Either way you choose, I'm so sorry you have to go through this and I wish you healing for now and hope for the future.


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## WaturMama (Oct 6, 2006)

Me again. I was afraid I was a little flip saying not to argue with the doctor, just tell her/him. What I meant was it is your body and your decision, and I don't think you need to present reasons for doing it naturally, so if you don't feel like arguing and you aren't eloquent I want to be a voice for saying you don't have to be. HTH. Lots of good wishes whatever you choose.


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## chel (Jul 24, 2004)

I wish there was a simple way to decide what to do.

I can atleast say, my blighted ovum looked like a big empty balloon, kinda circle-like but with one side more flat than round, bean shape? The edges showed up as a white ring around a solid black center.


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## zonapellucida (Jul 16, 2004)

I never had a US so my baby could have died at any time. My MC happend at 14 weeks and was obvously long gone before that. It is up to you but I am GLAD I let my body do its own thing. I was going unassisted anyway but did go to the hospital when the bleeding started to make sure all was gone.


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## labortrials (Aug 7, 2007)

I'm so sorry for your loss. I might recommend doing a pubmed search for information on the D&C procedure. I've heard that it can damage the uterus and affect future pregnancies and even fertility. However, it is a necessary procedure at times.

I hope that your body gets the process started so you don't have to make this difficult decision next week. Let us know how you're doing.

BIG BIG HUG!

~ Labortrials


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## east carolina (Apr 5, 2006)

I have tears in my eyes reading your caring responses! Thanks all of you so much









As I went to bed last night I told my babe that it could leave when it was ready, and I started spotting today. So far it's not too much and really brown, like at the end of AF. I am so glad my body has started to release the babe on its own. I'll see what the week-end brings and definitely talk to the doc on Monday.

I am aware that in most cases, miscarriages occur naturally and are better when mama can deal with it safely at home. But there are instances when it is necessary to get medical intervention. I will definitely post my story on the sticky thread, that one has helped my so much in coming to peace and preparing for the outcome of this pregnancy.

Oh, and I have plenty of beef with the medical community here, I have a healthy respect for doctors but I take their advice as advice only and I didn't really appreciate being slightly pressured to get a D%C, but I'm also aware that I probably won't find a doc here who would tell me otherwise, so I also have to see them as a product of their education. I am fully prepared to politely refuse the D%C unless I feel the circumstances warrant it.

Hugs to all of you and thanks again so much for all the posts, you've helped me more than you know.


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

I m/c a blighted ovum at 20 weeks. Which means I carried a blighted ovum to 20 weeks.

I would make the same choice again.

Hang in there.

-Angela


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## Whittliz (Oct 5, 2006)

I also carried a blighted ovum until 12 weeks and wouldn't change a thing.

I'm so sorry for your loss.


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## labortrials (Aug 7, 2007)

Quote:

Oh, and I have plenty of beef with the medical community here, I have a healthy respect for doctors but I take their advice as advice only and I didn't really appreciate being slightly pressured to get a D%C, but I'm also aware that I probably won't find a doc here who would tell me otherwise, so I also have to see them as a product of their education. I am fully prepared to politely refuse the D%C unless I feel the circumstances warrant it.
Yeah, they can't FORCE you to D&C.

I'm glad you're starting to spot on your own. Maybe you'll pass the baby just fine w/o intervention. Take care!


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## Got_Cloth (May 14, 2005)

I am so sorry for your loss. I know it is difficult to make that kind of descion.
With my son that died at 17-18 weeks, i decided to wait it out. He was born, at home, 4 weeks later at 21 weeks. I am glad i did it that way, as it was what i needed at the time.
However, 5 months later, when my next son died at 17 weeks, i asked to be induced, as i knew that is what i needed at THAT time. I was innduced and had a D&C after he was born, because i had a retained placenta.

we all need different things at different times. I am a firm believer that our instincts are strong and we will know what to do. If you feel better, doing it naturally, then do it. You will know in your heart if you need medical intervention.

Again, i am very sorry for your loss. I wish you peace and comfort, and please be gentle with yourself.


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## gretasmommy (Aug 11, 2002)

I am so sorry you are going through this. I agree with the PP - there is no one "right" way to m/c. I have done so both ways, and each felt like the right choice at the time.

Take care.


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## Megan73 (May 16, 2007)

I hope it's as peaceful as it can be. Good luck, mama.


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## Shane (Aug 6, 2005)

I just found your thread as I am going through a similar experience today. My Dr. was so mean and forceful about the D&C when I insisted that I wouldn't be doing it, she just walked out of the hospital room and never came back in to say goodbye or anything about what to look for at home. Why would she make me wait 4.5 hours to finally tell me my baby was dead then be so rude when I finally found out and told her I wanted to miscarry naturally. She said no one has ever done that and that I would be getting an infection. Well here I am, looking for a sign as to wether or not I'm doing the right thing. Thank you for your thread, it has made me feel a great deal better.


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shane* 
I just found your thread as I am going through a similar experience today. My Dr. was so mean and forceful about the D&C when I insisted that I wouldn't be doing it, she just walked out of the hospital room and never came back in to say goodbye or anything about what to look for at home. Why would she make me wait 4.5 hours to finally tell me my baby was dead then be so rude when I finally found out and told her I wanted to miscarry naturally. She said no one has ever done that and that I would be getting an infection. Well here I am, looking for a sign as to wether or not I'm doing the right thing. Thank you for your thread, it has made me feel a great deal better.











I'm so sorry. Both for your loss and the rude dr.

-Angela


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## normajean (Oct 21, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shane* 
I just found your thread as I am going through a similar experience today. My Dr. was so mean and forceful about the D&C when I insisted that I wouldn't be doing it, she just walked out of the hospital room and never came back in to say goodbye or anything about what to look for at home. Why would she make me wait 4.5 hours to finally tell me my baby was dead then be so rude when I finally found out and told her I wanted to miscarry naturally. She said no one has ever done that and that I would be getting an infection. Well here I am, looking for a sign as to wether or not I'm doing the right thing. Thank you for your thread, it has made me feel a great deal better.

I am so sorry. If it helps, I miscarried at home at 5, 12, and 15 weeks. I didnt' need a D&C with any of them, and I didn't get an infection from any of them. I did get an infection from my son's hospital birth, even though I had IV antibiotics. *hugs*


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## mommyfied (Jun 25, 2007)

east carolina -









I just found your thread. My timing is similar to yours. I also had a missed miscarriage. We found an empty sac at 12w6d. I started spotting light brown discharge and very mild cramping 2 days later and that lasted for 2 weeks. I had a hcg draw at that time and my levels were already down to 448. Two weeks later they were at 131. I opted out of another blood test this week so I'm doing a home pregnancy test tomorrow to see if I'm below 25 yet. It seems in my case the sac has simply dissolved on its own. I expect that my hcg level will go to zero and I'll finally start a new cycle and AF will arrive. I am SO glad that I did not get a D&C six weeks ago. I would have been 19 weeks pregnant by now, so the wait has been long, but it's given me time to heal and I know when my body is ready to TTC again my mind will be as well. I encountered a few other people who had the same thing happen. It usually does not complete until about 20 weeks or so. I have found that it can be common with a blighted ovum. Most people opt for a d&c by this point so the stats are a bit skewed.


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