# consequence for ripping up books??



## neveryoumindthere (Mar 21, 2003)

i cant think of a natural or logical consequence of dd (2.5years old) ripping up her books.
she's not doing it when she's angry. she just hides behind a couch or somehting and starts ripping.

i have kid scissors that i give her and let her use while i supervise at all times...she loooves to cut paper and she sees me use scissors often since i sew.

the ripping books thing is making me







Some of them were special ordered and some are in a diff. language and not the easiest to get. it feels weird/wrong to take away books and i dont think that taking out the books only with my supervision is good either since i do get some 'me time' while she flips thru.

she LOVES to 'read' and be read to and we do it often but maybe not often enough???

what can i say/do to try to get her to not rip them. i've tried explaining and she just says we'll buy new ones.(this is me-->







and







: at the same time.)

any ideas?


----------



## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Honestly, all I can think of is taking the books away. DD went through a brief phase of doing this when she was just under 2. We took her books away, and would read to her, but wouldn't let her actually hold the book. We also told her that she could rip paper if she wanted to, and would give her _one_ piece to tear to bits. She's going to be 3 in May, and it seems to finally be sinking in that books aren't to rip or to draw in. So, she has totally unrestricted access to them again. Of course...her baby brother got hold of one of her Madeline books, and chewed part of one page into oblivion. *sigh*

Good luck with this one. The destruction of books thing makes me nuts! I understand that it's just a stage, but it still drives me nuts...


----------



## travelinmom (Feb 19, 2006)

Get books that she can't rip up, plastic, or board books. Put the rest up for together time.


----------



## Bufomander (Feb 6, 2005)

This is a great question and I'd love to hear others' responses... Our daughter is 23 months, so a bit younger than yours, but we've definitely had this happen a few times. she likes the sound of the ripping, i think.
we usually take the book away just at the time -- "dd, if you are going to rip this book, then we are going to put it away for a while"....(and usually let her look at another one instead)

just wanted to add that i, too, don't want to take books away from her ever -- we are major readers in this house and we are so proud that she is too.....


----------



## mama_mojo (Jun 5, 2005)

When books are damaged at our house, they are put away until I get a chance to fix them. I am very sympathetic to the fact that it is the BEST book, the ONLY book they want to look at, but it needs to be fixed. That's all. Then, when I get a chance, I repair the book and return it to circulation. I might take awhile to return one or it might be the same day. When they were smaller (less than 2, maybe a bit more), they had free access to board books, but books with pages were for together time.


----------



## KA29 (Jan 8, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *travelinmom*
Get books that she can't rip up, plastic, or board books. Put the rest up for together time.

That's what we did. My dd was older (3ish) when she went through this phase and she asked why we were putting her 'favorite' books up. So I explained that books needed to be treated gently and so until she could do that we would only read those books together so that we could keep reading. Because if they got ripped too much, I couldn't fix them anymore. (Once they get it itty bitty little pieces, they just can't be taped back together....







: ) She didn't like it and I sympathized with her feelings and she seems to accept things. A few months later, I did a trial with a few paperbacks and it seemed to go better so we gradually started having them all down again.


----------



## Niamh (Jan 17, 2005)

Instead of thinking of consequences for ripping up the books, think of ways to avoid the problem. This is an issue we've been through with my 23 month old daughter.

There seem to be two issues at play here-the desire to rip/see what happens to paper when it rips and testing limits.

In our house, the limit is 'no ripping books' and putting books away is simply not an option since it's such a huge part of our life. So what we did when she went through this phase was getting her a huge pile of paper to be recycled, sticking it in a box by the bookshelf and letting her know that she was free and clear to tear that paper to shreds. If she even hinted at being interested in whether a book page would tear, I'd redirect her to the paper and have fun tearing with her.

For our daughter, the desire to tear went away quickly-less than a week. She now knows that she can tear junk mail, recycle paper, etc, but not books. Life's much easier when a child does an action (not tearing books) because she's telling herself not to and finding options for herself rather than because she knows a punishment will be in order if she does. Does that make sense?

If you get junk magazines, this is also a good option since it has the shape and makeup of a book.

Like all GD approaches, it takes being there for the action until it's fixed. She'll naturally outgrow the desire to tear if she's allowed to experiment with it and get it out of her system. I don't think there needs to be a consequence put into place for this.


----------



## Rivka5 (Jul 13, 2005)

The books our daughter has free rein to play with are in a big, easily accessible clear plastic box on the floor. They are all cloth, plastic, or cardboard. Books with paper pages are on a shelf, and I supervise her when she takes them down. She also likes to take *our* books off the shelves and dump them on the floor, which is okay with me as long as she doesn't rip the pages. If she starts to tear, I pick her up immediately, firmly tell her not to tear the books, and take her elsewhere to play.

The "natural consequence" to ripping up your boks is not having the books anymore. I wouldn't replace books that she destroys, and I might keep one or two mangled favorites around so that, when the desire arose to read them, we could talk about why we can't.


----------



## L&IsMama (Jan 24, 2006)

nak...

Try giving her a basket of magazines,or find some really cheap books that you dont mind if she was to rip them,and keep only those accessible. Right now almost ALL of our books are up in their closets or on high shelves cause my youngest ds loves to do the same thing. So I usually give him those American Baby and Babytalk magazines after I get the portrait coupons out of them.







Those I totally dont mind if he tears them to bits,lol.


----------



## Heffernhyphen (May 3, 2005)

I'm probably more punitive than most of you, but I would put my little ripper in time out in one location while his victim got time out in another. After 3 minutes, I would reunite them, talk about why the action was wrong, and make him help me fix the book. I'd tell him if he doesn't respect a book again, it will go in time out for a long time.


----------



## neveryoumindthere (Mar 21, 2003)

thanks everyone. great suggestions

it's so simple but the idea of keeping the board books/junk magazines nearby is great and keeping the others for together time.

lit's so easy i just seriously dont have the energy sometimes to think of something







anyone relate?









thanks again


----------



## Niamh (Jan 17, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Heffernhyphen*
I'm probably more punitive than most of you, but I would put my little ripper in time out in one location while his victim got time out in another. After 3 minutes, I would reunite them, talk about why the action was wrong, and make him help me fix the book. I'd tell him if he doesn't respect a book again, it will go in time out for a long time.

I think it's pretty natural for a 2.5 yr old to show interest in how the world works. It's a sign of their intelligence that they want to experiment. It would be so much easier to help them along with their age-appropriate actions (seeing how/why paper/books tear) rather than imposing a punishment for the child acting their age.


----------



## heartmama (Nov 27, 2001)

We own a bookstore









Books were the only thing we had to decorate the house when ds was small.

Books have always been a big part of our life, and now, our livelihood, so a solution to this was/is important, especially since we are ttc and (hopefully) will have another little one around one day.

If the 'ripper' did not respond to explainations and guidance, I would definitely put books out of reach. I did this when ds was small--it wasn't too difficult, even with many books, to find a way to secure them. A simple method is to turn them all around and pack them into the shelf *very* tightly, spines inward. It's important the height be uniform (smallest to largest) so there isn't space to grab a book and pull from the top. And I mean *really* pack them in so tight that you have to use both hands to free one~most likely a 2 year old will be unable to do it at all. Of course backless shelves are out. Nail a board to make a back on backless shelves. Even tightly packed books can be freed with a shove if there is no back to the shelf.

I would not say anything about it when you put the books away, or make it a punishment. The books would just be put up and secured and a stack of board books, and newspaper for tearing, would be left for the little "ripper" to use. Done.

Most likely if you say nothing about it, the two year old won't notice the books are put up. If they did notice and asked why, I'd keep it simple 'We read those with mama' and stick to that rule until they were old enough to know better. Why make a huge deal out of persuading a 2 year old not to tear, when in a year or so, this won't even be an issue?


----------



## Suzetta (Dec 21, 2003)

I keep books that cost me a bundle in plastic bins out of their general reach, and take them down only when we are reading with them. These books are their "special" books.

They have total access to all cloth/plastic books, and also most of their board books and some with paper.

This way, when a book does get torn or chewed, we can discuss it without me getting upset that one of their special books got ruined.

My dd got into her library books without my knowledge, and tore the page. It was her favorite from that batch. I put the book up, and told her that we couldn't read it any more, because we had to take it to the library to be fixed. She was very sad to not be able to read the 'ladybug' book, and talked about it repeatedly. However, she learned a lesson, as I noticed her bein much more gentle with the others./


----------



## ~Nikki~ (Aug 4, 2004)

Quote:

i've tried explaining and she just says we'll buy new ones.
I have to laugh, because this is my 2.5 year old's solution to every problem.







But I guess she's established that DH is the breadwinner, because it's always HIM that will be buying the new things, despite the fact that I'm always the one that does the shopping. "Oh no, you ripped your book." "Daddy [will] buy me a new one." "Oh, shoot, we're out of milk." "Daddy [will] go to store and buy more milk."

We've gone through the ripping stage, as well. For DD, it was always her favorite parts of her favorite books. It was so bizarre. And I felt so bad for her, because she'd tear her favorite page into shreds, and then not really understand why it didn't just magically grow back, when we got to that part the next time. She knew that it was her fault - "Me wipped up the bunnies, me like bunnies" - but she just...wouldn't...stop.

She was only doing it at night in bed, when she wasn't supervised. So I removed all of the paper books from her room, and just had her chose one that she wanted read that night. I left a stack of board books on her night stand, as she likes to "read" to herself at night after I tuck her in. For the books that she did rip, I tried to tape the pages back in. If they were torn up beyond repair, and she asked to read the book, I'd sit down with her and read it anyway. When we got to the ripped pages, and she asked why they weren't there, I'd remind her that when she rips them up, they're gone for good, and I can't read that part anymore. I think that letting her learn that natural consequence, really helped her overcome her urge to do it.

I'm pretty sure (knock on wood) that the ripping stage is over now. I've put the paper books back in her room, and we haven't had a ripping incident in a few months now.


----------



## writermommy (Jan 29, 2005)

I would also suggest books that can't be ripped, like board books. My oldest loved to rip paper. I gave her magazines and catalogs to rip and explained that these can be ripped, but we need to not rip our books, or we won't have them for story times. My dh HATED letting her tear up the magazines because of the mess. I explained that ripping is a beginning cutting skill and very important for her small motor development.







We also moved the kids' bookshelf into our family room. It's right near the kitchen and we hang out there most of the time. This way, they can look at the books and I am usually near by to supervise the littlest ones. This helped cut down on the tearing.


----------

