# My amazing son is delayed



## Tina Dun (Apr 29, 2012)

My son is two (just turned 24 months), vibrant, curious, beyond happy, strong, a great eater and sleeper, fully of love, hugs and kisses and laughter, plays soccer with me, has a sense of humour.....

He has a speech delay. So we went on the waiting list and we are now seeing a speech therapist. (we live in Canada)

He doesn't communicate as well as he apparently should, he only "brings" toys to show me if he wants me to fix something or if he wants me to read him a book (which is often - he loves books the most)

He repeats what I say, but often doesn't know the meaning. He is starting to understand the meaning of many things, I can tell. The Speech Therapist said this is echolalia, and isn't a normal way to develop language. She said its a bad sign and we should see a developmental psychologist to be assessed for delays and autism. I have been looking on the net and found many articles on echolalia saying while this could be a sign of a bigger issue, it could also be normal for some toddlers at 24 months

I have read so much on autism and done the Mchat test online so many times, and always comes up the same - he is very "low risk" for autism

He has no autistic characteristics that I can see, no hand flapping, he makes great eye contact, smiles when smiled at, responds to his name, loves cuddling and hugging, he has no repetative movements, he has always babbled, he pretends to talk on the phone, pushes cars, builds with lego.

He like other kids (smiles) but doesn't interact with kids. The daycare said he has improved a great deal and continues to learn and improve, but they do say he is different from the other kids and he gets frustrated when they change activities. They say he only likes certain toys. They also said he is very happy and the most gentle child in the daycare

I am really really devastated that the Speech Therapist told us to seek an assesment by a Psychologist. We will do it, but I am still so sad (just as a side note, she doesn't remember his name - Max - she calls him Alex, and said we should stop him from lining up toys - he doesn't ever do that...)

I feel in my heart that there is nothing "wrong" with my child. I am his mom, could a mom be so blind?

The only developmental delay I can find online is autism. Are there any other delays besides this? Nothing adds up with Autism with my little guy

Thank you for listening.....


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## McGucks (Nov 27, 2010)

It sure doesn't sound like anything on the Autism spectrum. Frankly, kids develop at different rates. I have a friend whose son barely spoke until he was three except for saying "What that?" He has an IQ over 160 now (he's 12).

All two year old repeat what they hear. It might be called echolalia. It is also called "learning to talk" if you are just two! You may have some rather ambitious therapists around.

My advice would be give him time. Continue to enjoy him. Honestly, he sounds fine.

If he has a pediatrician/GP, is that person concerned with his development? I think you are on the right track in thinking the speech therapist is on the wrong track.


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## Casha'sMommy (Dec 16, 2006)

Just chiming in, 17yo dd didn't speak until 3yo and started speaking in full sentences. She might have been on watch for her quirks in addition to her language but my gut didn't tell me anything was wrong so I didn't bother to look into it.

I think you should listen to your heart and your mama instincts. I don't think there's anything wrong with seeing the speech therapist provided the services match your methods of parenting. 5yo dd had speech services with multiple therapists and one wasn't a good match for our family, this led to some set backs in dd's language.

GL


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## pbjmama (Sep 20, 2007)

There are many different kinds of developmental delays, for example ADD, ADHD, SPD (sensory processing disorder), several syndromes which are genetically based, learning disabilities, etc. You could google "names of developmental delays".

I think it is wise to follow the ST's advice and seek assessment but also to remember she is not trained to asses things beyond speech. She sees a problem and refers out beyond her specialty. Another option in the states would be a developmental pediatrician, not sure if that is an option for you. Things to consider - has he had his hearing and vision tested? Some delays are because a child isn't getting the input they need and it can be very difficult to determine that with out training/testing. Is his voice tone typical (similar to other children)? It isn't typical for a 24 month old to play with other children. Many 2 year olds, 4 year olds, heck even adults have difficulty with transitions. I don't think either of those is a big cause for concern.

He is communicating with you (very good sign) but he isn't using language.

Autism is a very broad spectrum. If your child does receive an dx of Autism he can be a happy wonderful vibrant child and adult. Of course you will mourn if it happens but from what you have said here I agree it is unlikely.

There are many many stories of happy healthy children who have speech and/or language delays, my son and dh included. I hope you get some answers for your ds soon.


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## fizgig (Aug 3, 2007)

There are MANY reasons a child can talk late. Our son was also quirky and late talking. He is 3.3 now but between 2 and 3 we weren't sure what was up. The only way we finally determined what was up was taking him to a good developmental pediatrician. PLEASE don't listen to speech therapists, occupational therapists, special education teachers, or really even child psychologists - none of them are qualified to differentiate between the many, many things that can resemble autism. Our son was finally diagnosed with Mixed Expressive/Receptive Language Disorder after a number of "experts" told us he was likely on the spectrum.

No matter what is going on, and even if you son turns out to be on the spectrum, he is the same amazing little boy and there is nothing wrong with getting such a dx. BUT, based on our experience, if you do get an eval please make sure you go to a good dev ped! It will save you a lot of time and confusion!

Incidentally, repeating things can be a normal way to learn language and is very common in late talkers. I've posted below a comment written by Dr. Stephen Camarata (basically the world's expert on non-autistic late-talkers) about echolalia:
____________________________________________________________________

"Echolalia is the MEANINGLESS repetition of vocalizations produced by another. In autism, the children repeat, either immediately (immediate echolalia) or later (delayed echolalia) produced by someone else. The key qualitative aspect of this is that it sounds like parroting and the child does not appear to have any idea of the meaning or functional use of the words they echo. Like so many aspects of autism, after you have observed true echolalia, it is unmistakable. In contrast to echolalia are a) unprompted imitation, and b) scripting, which are both common in many late talkers AND ALSO in typically developing children. The key difference is that unprompted imitation and scripting both have a direct or indirect correspondence to the situation and the child will often show some degree of meaning in what they repeat. For example, my LT Vincent was a big fan of the movie, ³the little mermaid² (Disney version). When coming into the kitchen, he would often begin singing the song by the chef when he was trying to cook Sebastian the crab. This scripting has a functional relationship to the setting and should not be viewed as echolalia. Vincent both scripted and imitated for several years, but like most LTs using scripting and imitation, these strategies dropped out after he learned more language and social skills. There is no doubt in my mind that he would have been labeled autistic in today¹s environment. As it was, he was recommended for placement in a classroom for Cognitively impaired (mentally retarded) children. Time has proven that autism or mental retardation would be absurdly inaccurate diagnoses. That is one reason it is very important to know the difference between echolalia and scription or unprompted imitation.

Unfortunately, many clinicians seem to be unaware that unprompted imitation and scripting are normal aspects of development and should not be viewed as alarming at all. Indeed, if a child imitates and makes even a small change in the utterance, this is often a precursor to a language burst. So rather than being a behavior to get rid of, the imitation is actually very
positive.

Finally, I have seen some children who have essentially been taught to be echolalic. By this I mean that many LTs are mistakenly taught to speak using discrete trials, which also goes by the name ³Lovaas² or ³ABA.²In this
teaching technique, the child is forced to imitate what the adult says and is given a reward (usually food) when they do. If the child is clueless as to the meaning of the adult phrase, this is essentially teaching a child to be echolalic (ie, teaching them to display a symptom of autism). Although there are some children who will benefit from discrete trials (and we do recommend this approach for some children), there are many others who should not be treated using this technique. I just find it ironic that some LTs who are otherwise not autistic are taught to be echolalic by the clinician and the parents are then told that the echolalia is a symptom of autism (it does happen)."

Stephen Camarata


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## transylvania_mom (Oct 8, 2006)

I'm no specialist but my dd had a very poor vocabulary at that age (still does). Her brother was the same, he wasn't speaking in full sentences at 3. Now he's 7 and speaks three languages fluently.

Children who are my dd's age form complete sentences, can answer questions etc. I'm not worried one bit, because I see how ds's vocabulary has developed.

I would seek the opinion of another specialist.


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## fizgig (Aug 3, 2007)

I've been thinking about your post and I also wanted to add that I think you should get rid of that speech therapist asap. She isn't even paying attention to your actual child and instead has a little checklist in her mind. That she is telling you not to let your DS line up toys is terrible for 2 reasons. 1) It shows that she doesn't even see what your actual child is doing and 2) Even if he were lining up toys, that is called a "stim" (self stimulation) and most people working with kids on the spectrum now acknowledge that it is important to let kids stim unless wgat they are doing is dangerous. It is often a behavior that helps them calm down and feel safe so simply "not letting them" is downright cruel. That says to me that she is NOT the right kind of person to help you or your DS!

We encountered this a number of times when our DS was younger and it sent me into a very bad head space without reason. We had our DS in a school with a speech and occupational therapist and they were both very young and had an "autism checklist" ingrained in their minds. Since our DS wasn't talking at all then they both jumped to the same conclusion and began treating him as if he were on the spectrum. Every time he picked up a truck or toy car they immediately forced him to put it on the floor and I couldn't understand why until I asked and the ST told me it was to stop his "stimming" on the wheels. Um, he wasn't, in fact he was pretending they were rocket ships because we had been watching Buzz Lightyear. They weren't paying any attention to my actual child and instead couldn't see past their own assumptions. They did this with a whole list of things. They told me we need to work on pretend play and eye contact. Um, my DS is the king of pretend play and will gaze into people's eyes forever.

I would highly, highly recommend that you find a play-based therapist who is tuned into your son and who welcomes you at their therapy sessions so you can learn some techniques to help your son develop his language skills. No matter what is going on with your DS, a good play-based therapist can help him. Anyone who isn't tuned in with your actual child's strengths and weaknesses is not going to be able to effectively help him.

Your DS is VERY young and I am a firm believer that mommy gut feelings are usually right. We didn't go ahead with a full eval of our son until he was almost 3 and I'm glad we waited. At 2 it is virtually impossible for anyone to really be able to tell what is going on! I would get some good therapy and get on the wait list for a good dev ped and then have fun with your amazing little guy!


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## Peony (Nov 27, 2003)

I have a beautiful 3 year old son that is speech delayed. We are just pursuing other testing now because he is really quirky and his speech is not improving as much as it should. I will just second what everyone else said, do not listen to others, they are not qualified to diagnosis. I have been told everything to he is completely fine to he has mlld CP. Now what ever DS1 is, he is still my little amazing boy.


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## Hattie'sMama (Oct 29, 2010)

My daughter has Trisomy 21(Down Syndrome) and after 18 months of working with a variety of therapists, I'd suggest finding a new ST. She should be able to remember your son's name and actual behaviors!

I would like to say that getting a psych eval is not always a negative thing. At my daughter's last eval, the psych told us that her IQ was around 130-definately not mentally retarded, which most people expect from a kid with DS. Even if you get a diagnosis of some delay, keep your expectations high. It sounds like your son is very bright and wonderful, he might need some special techniques to help him learn how to speak, it doesn't have to mean anything more than that.

If your state has a children's hospital with a center for disabilities, find out if he can be evaluated there. The doctors and therapists are often much more professional and aware of a wider range of diagnoses than a local doctor might deal with.


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## BensMomma (May 1, 2012)

I have to ask because we are going through the same thing with my 19 month old son. Have you had his hearing checked? My son says very few words and first thing they did was all the autism checks where he showed as low risk. He says very few words and tries a few others but they never sound right. We got his hearing checked after many requests to do so and found he has massive buildup behind his ears which they described his hearing like sticking both fingers in your ears as hard as you can and he hears like that.. Completely muffled. He is having surgery on Wednesday hoping it will help as they think it will. Definitely something to at least check if you haven't. It was actually an early steps worker (which is similar to the person that is working with your son) that suggested it may be the problem.. After the first time she met with him!


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## anjsmama (Apr 6, 2011)

My DS barely knew 10 words at 24 months. He didn't say much of anything until 2.5. At 31 months, he started speaking in full sentences. He's 3 years 8 months now and he NEVER stops talking.







. I did not go through with the SLP evaluations... I decided to wait until he was 3, and by that time it was not necessary. I did have his hearing checked, just in case, and it was fine.

DS is also very social, happy, outgoing, makes great eye contact, etc etc etc I was quite confident he was not on the autism spectrum. And while I was right about that, he does do a lot of the playing with a certain toy, not wanting to change activities, and lining up his toys... because he does have some SPD (sensory processing disorder) which basically means that his senses are heightened and frequently in overdrive. It does cause certain "quirks" but he hasn't had any true delays other than being a late talker.


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

Two thoughts:

First, you might post over in the special needs board -- there are a lot of parents (and some Canadian ones) who've been through the assessment process and might be able to give you a better idea of what to expect.

Second, no one can diagnose your son over the internet. A 24 month old who's having a lot of trouble understanding language is a matter for concern and warrants further evaluation. It might well not be autism, it could be. Without an evaluation, you won't have any idea. A good evaluation will give you an idea of his areas of strength and weakness so that you can help him flourish.

(I'm assuming he's had his hearing checked, yes? That's the first thing that should have been done (even a mild hearing loss can really affect language development and they often go undetected).)

For every child who "didn't talk until they were three and then started speaking in sentences" there are more who didn't talk until 3 and still aren't doing very well at age 5. Speech-language is one of those things that do benefit greatly from early intervention. Kids who are behind are chasing a moving target. Children with comprehension delays are at particular risk. Having a fuller picture of what you're dealing with won't change who your son is, but it can help you and your son move forward.


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## JudiAU (Jun 29, 2008)

There are many reasons for a toddler speech delay and it is great that you are seeking assistance for your little one. It doesn't sound that he is autistic but there could be some other reason for the speech delay/speech acquisition. I think it makes sense to follow up on her recommendation.

But really...don't panic. Searching on the internet with a single key word is likely to make you distressed and paranoid. Enjoy your little person as his language expands.


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## Tina Dun (Apr 29, 2012)

Thank you. I didn't know there were so many reasons! I kept googling speech delay and autism came up, making me thing its the only reason!


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## Tina Dun (Apr 29, 2012)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *LynnS6*
> 
> Two thoughts:
> 
> ...


I actually know that there is no way to find a diagnosis over the internet.

If you had read my post to the end, you would have read my question, it was clear - are there other reasons besides autism to have speech delays? I think its an okay question. And it looks like, from the answers, that there ARE other things that could happen. I wasn't asking for a diagnosis.

I wouldn't have my son going to speech therapy, taking the time off work to take him and work with him, and I wouldn't be posting on the internet UNLESS I thought there was SOME cause for concern.

I have had his hearing checked - twice

"Change who my son is"? What?

"


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## jmarroq (Jul 2, 2008)

My son did a lot of echolalia before he could talk. People would come up to him and say "oh what a beautiful young man....what is your name?" and he would say "where the moon go?" It was something he heard me say once and it stuck. Even after he learned to talk, he would repeat what they were saying on the TV right after they said it....he would mumble the whole time he was watching TV...a split second behind what they were saying. He still did echolalia after he could speak, mixed in with his regular conversations, but it got better with time.

Today my son is a healthy 9 year old boy. We've been through a lot of doctors and different therapies. I won't even go into how many diagnosis he has had over the years! We never did medicate for what is thought to be ADD, so school is a challenge. His IEP just focuses on some of his weaknesses, without specifically naming any impairment. He has some tics, and he struggles with visual motor integration and fine motor skills processing, etc. so handwriting, and some math concepts are a challenge. He gets some extra help at school and has a private tutor.

He has a unique way of speaking and is very creative. He is quite witty and comes up with the most incredible sayings. People always think he is trying to be funny, especially adults and they will laugh. Until he was like 7, he would get very upset by this and couldn't understand why people were laughing. I think it still effects him, but he learns to hold it in. He is always complimented on his vocabulary and his way with words. His writing teacher made a point to come up to us to tell us that he never had a student quite like him and he was very impressed with the way he spoke. His art teacher did the same thing recenlty. He used a huge word at the pediatricians office one day when he was like 6 and she started cracking up and said "and to think this is the same kid we were worried about speech delays with!".

Honestly, I was worried he might never be able to communicate...and look at him now! He is just one of those kids that can't get things...and one day it just clicks! He jumped earlier than most, and walked right at 12 months, but he couldn't walk down a flight of stairs with alternating the steps until he was 8...which is probably 4 years later than average!

Of course an evaluation can't hurt since there may be something else going on like auditory processing or something but it really doesn't sound like autism to me either.

I managed to stay away from an autism diagnosis and my son had lots of autistic like behaviors along with echolalia and speech delays (toe walking, head banging, pica, humming, hand flapping and jumping, poor eye contact, fine and gross motor delays, playing with toys inappropriately, would turn his back for hugs, hitting children instead of playing with them, etc...).

The fact that the ST called him by a different name and told you to stop him from lining up cars when he doesn't, makes me think she was thinking of a different patient. Could you see a different speech therapist for a second opinion and maybe go to a developmental pediatrician as well?


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Tina Dun*
> 
> I actually know that there is no way to find a diagnosis over the internet.
> 
> ...


It wasn't so much you that I was addressing as the other people who said "Of course he can't have autism." There are lots of reasons a child can have language delay -- from hearing, to general cognitive delay, to apraxia to specific language impairment and probably a dozen other things.


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## Tina Dun (Apr 29, 2012)

Thanks to everyone for your amazing and insightful answers

My son had speech therapy this morning. We woke up, the sun was shining, we dropped by the park on the way, kicked the soccer ball back and forth, went on the swing, and then off to Speech Therapy

He sat down at the little table like an eager boy...and then he lost total interest in speech therapy games after 15 minutes (my mom says "what exactly did you expect from a 24 month old")

I am at the point where I find it hard to watch my 24 month old son be scrutinized in such detail.

I told the Speech therapist about how responsive my son is at home, but she said he should be that way everywhere.

I put him on the waiting list for the Developmental Pediatrician (in my original post I was talking about psychologists, but I meant Pediatrician)

His spot should come up in about 5 months

In the meantime, we will finish the speech therapy sessions (we have four more, practice what she has taught us, but otherwise, I think we will take the summer "off" from specialitsts. I don't want to sound like an irresponsible parent, but IF my gut is right, then maybe giving him a few months to grow, play outside, go swimming, play soccer......

Let him grow. It feels right.


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## mamandedeux (Jan 15, 2010)

I'm not sure if what I have to add will help or not, but it has been my experience that there's often a HUGE developmental leap between 24-30 months. My DS2 also had a speech delay and our experience with SLP was frustrating. He would lose interest or just say no to whatever she was asking him to do. She would force him, he'd cry, I'd feel bad. Rinse, repeat. We stopped going. He's 31 months and talking in 4-5 word sentences now, but it's very recent, and it happened almost overnight. He's also different than most toddlers in that he's quiet and very ''relaxed'', he's not super active and all over the place, but that doesn't mean he's not exploring his environment and learning. Give it time, and enjoy him!


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## Tina Dun (Apr 29, 2012)

Thanks Maman!. My experience is the same, very forceful, with him not interested, only difference is my boy is VERY active. Jumping, throwing, kicking, climbing, running, the park is his mecca. Its like the daycare worker said "Max feels confined within four walls"

Max says "no" to the Speech therapis too. He says no in Greek, English and Polish to her, which I find hilarious (but I keep respectfully composed


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## Tina Dun (Apr 29, 2012)

That is amazing!


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## Laurienna (Jul 4, 2008)

Is your son learning several languages at a time? If so it might really explain any "delays".


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## Tina Dun (Apr 29, 2012)

He is learning three languages. grandparents on one side speak Greek, on the other side speak Polish.. And of course English. he spends a lot of time with his grandparents and says words in al three languages. for example, when a cat walks by he would never say cat, he would say Gatto (Greek) instead of ball he says balla....

I think this may cause delay, but the speech therapist says he doesn't put puzzles pieces together with the precision he should, and that his drooling shows that his face muscles are delayed. Occasionally, he bangs his blocks together and he did so in speech therapy (he enjoys drumming and rhythm) and she said this is a delayed form of playing.

don't get me wrong, he plays "normally" builds with Lego, pushes car, kicks a soccer ball etc

any mom would cringe at watching her child be scrutinized at this level, and look for some online support.

So, the impression I get from the experts is that he is delayed in more than one area, which is sad and very hard to take.

the upside is that everyday, he can do something new, say something new.


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## Super~Single~Mama (Sep 23, 2008)

Drooling shows his facial muscles are delayed? Is he getting his 2yo molars? That made my ds drool for months at that age - and he was speaking in full sentences.

And he's supposed to put puzzles together with precision? My ds loves puzzles, but it often takes him several tries to get a piece in the right way (unless he has done the same puzzle several time before) and he's almost 3.5 with absolutely no delays.

I would seek the opinion of someone else.


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## Tina Dun (Apr 29, 2012)

Yeah...I agree. He does drool A LOT! 

I guess all a speech therapist can do is make assumptions compared to other kids and maybe his coordination is sloppier. He is still quite sloppy with a spoon and fork, although he tries like a champ. He tries to count, sing the alphabet, he can handle all the playground equipment on his own, although his real passion in the outdoors is running and exploring, no puddle shall not be jumped in

He is 24 months. this whole journey makes me really appreciate that in Scandinavia, children start school at age 7. I feel like my son's job right now IS to explore, laugh, build with blocks, give us hugs and kisses and sing an ever growing roster of songs.


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## Peony (Nov 27, 2003)

Drooling with a speech delay can be a red flag for apraxia so that is where the SLP is coming from, but it sounds like it was handled not that tactfully! You are doing the right things, he is on a wait list for a qualified person. Speech therapy can be flexible but not all therapists are. We've even done outdoor speech therapy because DS1 was not about to sit in a room!


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## Soseraphina (Jan 13, 2010)

Honestly, I think you need a new SLP. As a mom, I think you are doing great and it is wonderful that you are trying to seek help for your child. As an SLP myself, I think what she is trying to say is that your son has some red flags that may be quirky, yet normal, toddler development or a sign of something more complex. The only way to figure out what is truly going on is to go for further testing in all areas of development.

However, I am not really sure if current therapist has your son's best interests at heart. Calling him by another name, making up symptoms, refusing to inform you of how multi-lingual children learn to speak, and not adapting the session so that it holds your DS's interests would make me want second opinion, which you are getting in a few months. Remember, you know your child best. Trust your instincts, Mama.


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## RStelle (Jul 12, 2011)

Hi, sorry if someone all ready said this (I didn't have time to read everyone's posts) but when children are growing up learning more than one language they often, if not always, speak late. It is totally normal, judging from that I don't think your son is even behind at all. It sound like he is right on track for someone learning 3 languages at once!


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## dancingflower (Oct 5, 2009)

Oh, I don't like your therapist!

According to him, my Son could be delayed too. He's a lousy puzzle player. He doesn't even put legos together. Not his thing, I think. But he is 26, speaking in sentences, so he is not under your therapist scrutiny.

While language delay is very common in completely typical children, it can also be a sign of some other developmental problem. I say I don't like your therapist because you should be able to trust one when looking for the best for your child.

I'd advise you to look for another professional. After all, this doubt is going to be haunting you anyways. It's a terrible place to be.

Best for you and your amazing son!

Forgive any typos, a foreigner writing without spell check is a hopeless thing to watch..


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## Xavismom (Dec 22, 2009)

I've got to agree, that this therapist sends up red flags to me. I would personally find a new one.

My DS only regularly said 'Mom' and 'Dad', until a few months past his 2nd birthday. Then his speech blossomed, in one day, he said over 60 new words, and he keeps adding on more ever since. And how many toddlers dont enjoy banging blocks and such together? What?

My DH didnt start talking until he was 3, and he has a 171 IQ. And it IS normal for kids that grow up in multiple language households to have delayed speech. My DH grew up speaking English and Japanese.

Hang in there Mama, your DS is luck to have you, but take care of yourself too and dont worry too much.


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## Lovesong (Jul 30, 2011)

I would say not to worry. At two, it is waaaaay too early to tell if your son is simply just developing at his own pace or if there might be some problem that needs tending to. From your descriptions, I would assume his problem is probably just wrestling with too many words, and variations of sounds, and not really being delayed at all.

At age two, I couldn't speak. Or well, I made sounds that my parents managed to decode somehow into one-two word messages. Such as "get shoe" "look kitty" etc. even if they came out all mixed up and strange. It didn't worry my physician, because she saw no signs of anything being wrong. My hearing, my understanding, attention etc. were all fine.

At age five, I could speak. But I stuttered and stammered. My physician was still not concerned, but my parents let themselves be worried by the special-aid teacher, who helped children with development delays in school, who suggested there might be something wrong since my speech was worse than some of the students she was helping.

Well, my parents booked a time with a child speech development specialist at the hospital. Just to be on the safe side. Her verdict?

I knew too many words. My stuttering and stammering was due not to a speech difficulty, as the teacher had assumed, but rather language proficiency. I knew an amazing number of words (and especially synonyms) for my age. My young brain was simply not up to the task of quickly finding the word I was after, and so I stuttered and stammered while it searched for the right word. She said that as my brain matured it would sort itself out, and it did. Today I have no problems whatsoever with talking. In fact, some people would wish I talked a bit less!

In any case, I just wanted to share my story since I think it is important to remember that "development difficulties" can sometimes be a sign of something good. It might be that your son is actually learning language faster than his young, still maturing brain can handle.


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## Tina Dun (Apr 29, 2012)

So, his vocabulary is growing every day. He is learning to do new things every day. He is getting better with a fork, he kicks his ball further all the time,climbs the stairs without holding on to a thing. He points at his favourite things in his favourite books and looks up at me to name them for him.

Today he went for his second last speech therapy session with his dad. His dad came home and said that he was clumsy putting the pegs into the holes and she recos a physiotherapist

So, now the team of experts is: Occupational Therapist, Physiotherapist, Speech Therapist and Developmental Pedicatrician.

I am totally comfortable with the Dev Pediatrician

I have to say, it could be PMS fueling this, but I AM FURIOUS. He is TWENTY FOUR MONTHS OLD!

I am fuming, emotional, bewildered....I just want to cry now.

I have to keep reminding myself that people are only looking out for him

He looks as big as a 3 or 4 year old. But he is not developmentally where a 24 month old should be (I guess, but to me he seems normal)


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## Sharlla (Jul 14, 2005)

ds2 didnt really start talking until after age 3. he's perfectly normal, just a late talker


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## newmamalizzy (Jul 23, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Tina Dun*
> 
> So, his vocabulary is growing every day. He is learning to do new things every day. He is getting better with a fork, he kicks his ball further all the time,climbs the stairs without holding on to a thing. He points at his favourite things in his favourite books and looks up at me to name them for him.
> 
> ...


It's strange, of course I haven't seen your child and am in no place to judge, but, aside from the speech issue, I haven't heard anything that sounds too different from my 25 month old. She can't climb stairs unassisted yet, is very good at puzzles, but still definitely needs to twist the pieces around a bit before getting them in properly, is proficiently sloppy at eating with a spoon and fork... I would be completely bewildered if I was told she was delayed. Have you considered...just not going through with some of the therapies yet? Could you plan to give it all a few more months to play itself out and then reassess? (Forgive me if you've already addressed that question elsewhere in the thread.)


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## muminoz (May 19, 2012)

*Ok here's my story and I hope hearing it helps. My oldest son who is now just about to turn 4 was a very late talker. When he was two he had zero words...well he did say 'Mum' but it could mean anything from me to milk to 'I want that over there'. So besides 'mum' he would go 'ehhh' and point to communicate. That's it and it continued that way until he was just about 3 when he finally started to say some words. Now he is just about to turn 4 and when I look at the video of him at his 3rd birthday it's so hard to believe how much his speech has improved in one year. *

My doctor was VERY concerned and had us take him to someone to get assessed when he was about 2 1/2 - he had his hearing tested and we met with a speech pathologist who said there was nothing wrong and that he was just taking his time to talk. I finally chilled out when I discovered the book The Einstein Syndrom: Bright Children Who Talk Late by Thomas Sowell. There is nothing I can say about the book that hasn't been said already by the reviews on Amazon.com so I won't go into it but you should definitely check it out - especially if there are scientists or engineers in your family.

My son is still WAY further behind in speech than his peers but I don't worry, I know he will catch up. We all just develop at different times and I think that 99% of the time there is no big problem associated with speech delay (except in kids who are having other signs of developmental delays). Try not to worry or put pressure on him - it's extremely likely that sometime, when he is ready, you will be able to have a good conversation with him and find out what's been happening in his little head 

Take care


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## sageowl (Nov 16, 2010)

A couple of thoughts...

1. In my experience as a teacher working with kids with autism, echolalia rarely involves speech from another person in the child's life. The "scripts" ( the things the child repeats) usually come from movies, cartoons, TV commercials, and so forth. They hardly ever come from interactions with a caregiver.

Thinking of a student I had a few years back who was the poster child for echolalia, he usually said things like:

Wascally wabbit (Elmer Fudd)

That's all folks (Looney Tunes)

"I'm cross" (Thomas)

(Goofy says Gawsh) (Disney)

Watch your step! (from some YouTube video he liked to watch)

Shhh, I'm hunting wabbits. (Elmer Fudd)

These were things he'd say throughout the day and they were completely at random (no obvious contextual triggers), although the frequency appeared to increase when the student was stressed/agitated.

2. Hand flapping, spinning, repetitive movements, stimming etc. are usually associated with the more severe/pervasive types of autism. Kids with Asperger's for instance don't usually have these traits, or if they do, they're very minor compared to the kids with more pronounced autism. You can't rule out autism spectrum disorders completely with the absence of these traits, but you can probably rule out the more severe types of autism.

3. There many developmental delays besides Autism. I don't know if I'd recommend driving yourself crazy researching them all. If you're concerned about a true development delay (beyond delayed speech), you may want to see a developmental pediatrician (or whatever the Canadian equivalent is) and do a Global Developmental Screen or a non-verbal IQ test (note there's validity problems with a child this age) and rule some things out.

Good luck figuring all of this out. It sounds like at a minimum, the person you are currently working with is not a good match for your child, and you may want to see if there's another service provider you can work with. Another thing to remember is that without clear cut symptoms of a major developmental disorder, it's hard to diagnose much of anything until a child is between 4-6. Before that's you're stabbing around blindly in the dark.


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## MrsKoehn (May 12, 2012)

2 of my nephews are the same way. One didn't talk more than grunting and a stray babble here and there until he was 3. His sister had started to talk at 1, in full sentences. He's fine at nearly 5. My other nephew is almost 2 and mostly just bringing things to people, pointing and grunting, but he's really doing well otherwise. My Mom said one of my brothers were the same way. He's now 30 and doing great. He has NO problem talking, it's the shutting up part that's difficult....


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## flightgoddess (Mar 4, 2009)

He's in a multi-lingual environment? Often speech is delayed in multi-lingual kids, though its not usually a bad thing, they are just trying to figure out which words and grammatical rules to use with which language...be patient, if there is no significant change in the next 6-9 months, then reevaluate.


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## Tina Dun (Apr 29, 2012)

Thanks. I'm sorry, My post was very reactionary - I was really unhappy.

We have one more session with this speech pathologist and then we are done.

The good thing is - he is starting to talk, not just saying "banana" when he sees a banana etc (he can name a lot of things) but actually communicating his needs. Telling us he is hungry by walking up to his chair and saying "hungy" and telling us he is done with taking a bath, or asking us to read a book to him, all in simple terms of course. And I find he understands more. I say "Hey, wanna play puzzle?" and he goes right to the drawer where his puzzles are and grab one and bring it over. Same with "can I have a hug? Kiss? Want to go outside? Upstairs? Take a bath? Go to bed?" He understands and acts on all of it

I know I am being an overly reactionary mom. I know the Speech Therapist is doing her job. And its not her fault that he talks at home and not in the brief sessions with her.

I am really struggling with all of this because I believe he is okay, he is just growing and developing at his own pace. But then I see something, like if I say "Show me the carrot!" in his book and he doesn't do it, and I am full of doubts and fears...and then I am conflicted. Should I follow my gut? Or is "my gut" confused?

I know he doesn't understand as much as my cousin's 24 month old (who also doesn't speak, in fact, speaks even less than my son) but if you say to him, "Go get your milk, I am busy" He will go to the fridge, and grab his bottle of milk. My guy wouldn't do that. But I guess because he is learning every single day, I believe he WILL do all that kind of stuff. Maybe just a month or two later than his cousin.

Its so hard...as a mom to look at your son and see a sensitive, loving boy with a sense of humour and a zest for life - who is SO full of laughter, and believe "there is something wrong here, he needs to see a gang of specialists" But I think thats because I am his mom


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## zahara23 (Jun 19, 2012)

Can you please contact me regarding your son's delayed speech?

My daughter is 3 now started like your son, they said the same thing about her, but i want to exchange with you all her progress.

You sound like me...and you explained your child like my daughter exactly.

I live in Canada as well...

email is [email protected]

Thanks,

Samy


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## Sweetflyfishfeel (Dec 4, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *RStelle*
> 
> Hi, sorry if someone all ready said this (I didn't have time to read everyone's posts) but when children are growing up learning more than one language they often, if not always, speak late. It is totally normal, judging from that I don't think your son is even behind at all. It sound like he is right on track for someone learning 3 languages at once!


Yes, this is so true!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Tina Dun*
> 
> So, his vocabulary is growing every day. He is learning to do new things every day. He is getting better with a fork, he kicks his ball further all the time,climbs the stairs without holding on to a thing. He points at his favourite things in his favourite books and looks up at me to name them for him.
> 
> ...


Hmmm. Just a hunch but it sounds like your son does NOT like his ST and to top it off, doesn't feel the need to pretend like he does in front of his dad.

One of my good friends is married to a native Spanish speaker, so mom speaks English and dad speaks primarily Spanish to their kids, and they've taught their oldest a variety of baby signs since he was an infant. Their oldest is about to turn 3 yrs old. She has brought him to my house many times and around when he turned 2 yrs old, was saying the same thing. His "first steps" speech therapist was saying his language is behind. I've spent most of my career working with bilingual children and deaf/hard of hearing children, so I am used to looking for clues as to what is really going on. After hanging out with them several times, I told her that her son seems absolutely normal, and that he is shy with new people, therefore he doesn't talk much when out in public or while with his speech therapist because he doesn't feel comfortable. He understood absolutely everything that mom and dad said to him, and could easily follow instructions. He seemed so perfectly normal, I told her I was willing to bet he could do everything the therapist asked of him if he ever got the nerve up.

Well, after much worrying and discussing with his doctor and trying to figure out what else it might be, one day he shocked everyone's socks off and performed like he was getting paid. He said all the words he's supposed to know in English, Spanish, and signed them. A week or two later he was not talking again to anyone except mom and dad. It was just his own way, and a big part of it was how much attention he got when everyone was in a tizzy all worried about him, and trying to get him to talk. What a racket.

My own DD is just 24 mos old, and doesn't say a ton of words, but loves to ask me to say them. She's very sharp, and able to understand what's going on around her as well as any other child her age, but she doesn't say nearly as many words as some 2 yr olds I know. I don't worry about it. She's very visual, as am I, and she's very interested/curious/enthusiastic about everything (except brushing her teeth). One of my neighbors has a 26 mo old who has been labeled as "failure to thrive" and "speech delayed", but she is a CHATTERBOX and says way more words than DD does. She pointed across a pond one day and yelled "turtle!". My DD knows "a dog", "a kee!" (kitty), "bird" and "cow", "hi!!", "bye!!" "ball" "go pway?" and new this week is "a car", "uh oh, OH NO!", and "tickle tickle tickle!" Other than that she doesn't say a lot that is understandable. I think "eeban" = I want, "co co" = the verb "to color", "baboo" = "blue" and "co call" = "what color is that?", and sometimes if I'm lucky, she will say "Mamie!!"

But she understands a TON of other things, and has many ways to communicate with me.

When she's hungry, she pushes her hands into her hollow tummy. When she wants down from her high chair, she stomps her feet alternatingly.

If someone were to tell me she is delayed right now, I would laugh. Everyday there is some new thing she says or does that shows me how rapidly she is growing and developing. Everyday I have to be on my toes. We have so much fun together. I'm not one bit worried about her. She's a happy healthy kid.

It could be the speech teacher is more worried about getting children labeled and pushed into the system with a diagnosis, than she is with the quality of the lives she encounters.


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## TuiNZ (Jun 23, 2011)

Ahhh I really feel for you! Not because I think there is anything wrong with your son (from what you've described) but because I have been there and know what it is like to worry about your child's development, read the internet, one day think they're fine, the next worry again...

My DS is almost 3 and a year ago I was exactly in your shoes. By the time he was 24 months old he had maybe 10-15 words. He understood what we were saying to him, he played properly, was affectionate, good eye contact... a little on the shy side though, didn't play with other kids... And this last point was exactly why the word "autism" kept coming up so much! I posted something here on the "special needs" page where I detailed my DS's behaviour as much as I could and most people thought there was nothing wrong with him. But then you get the odd person who says "evaluate him" and I would start wondering again.

Anyway... fast track 12 months - he is a normal 3 year old. Still shy and a sensitive soul but is talking in sentences in three different languages. He has started going to daycare which is helping him overcome his shyness and once he earns someone's trust he relaxes and communicates with them and plays with them. I shouldn't be surprised though because at his age I was exactly like him.

And I would agree with those who say that the reason he's not following instructions probably has more to do with the fact that he doesn't like the speech therapist. Just as an example, we are taking part in some long term research of growing up in New Zealand and someone comes every year to check on DS and interact with him. At his 2 year appointment they wanted to get him to stack blocks one on top of the other and then smash them. Well, he wouldn't no matter how much this woman tried (and despite the fact that I knew he could do it and even more). And then, as soon as she wasn't looking, he did exactly what she asked.

Our DS has some quirks in that he seems more sensitive than other boys his age... or even than our second DS. But it's just who he is and DH and I keep joking that he'll probably be an artist. But even at this age he is able to show empathy which is amazing. For example, recently I hurt my toe and he ran for help and then ran back and gave me big cuddles and said "Mama hurt her toe... toe hurts!".

It is important to remember that most people are extroverts... only 10% of us are introverted. So it is no surprise that your DS's therapist doesn't encounter kids like him very often (let alone kids who are learning 3 languages)!

I would say wait and see. I know I'll probably be slammed because everyone these days is worried about missing that "development" train, but it seems to me that your original gut feeling is telling you your DS is okay. And I would go with that. Despite the fact that, because of all the info out there, your gut feeling got a bit lost and confused along the way.


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