# Anybody else dreading the holidays?



## XM (Apr 16, 2002)

I am just getting so sad about the holidays coming up. Last year, we had a really lame Christmas because we got dragged over to my uncle's house and hung out with his new wife who we barely know, her sons who we barely know, and her stupid friends who we do not know at all. Hardly an intimate evening. Her son's wife was pregnant as well and due within weeks of me with their second. She had all sorts of problems with preeclampsia and had a premature live baby. I had a wonderfully healthy pregnancy and our daughter died minutes before birth.

I am having major family drama, and I just know that I will be talked about when the rest of the 'family' meets up this year... it pisses me off, but not much I can do about it. My parents will be playing innocent as if I have no reason to have broken off ties with them since they are such good people (nevermind the alcoholism and co-dependency issues) and it makes me sick. They are going to be sucking up all this sympathy, when they did not even care about my daughter at all... I got the distinct impression that my mother thought I should have aborted... which makes no sense as Mike and I have been together 2x as long as she and my dad here when they had me... and frankly I think we were a lot more ready for a child then they were.

I was just so looking forward to spending a nice, quiet Christmas at home with Xiola and Mike... now I am just gritting my teeth and wondering how I am going to get through the next several weeks. I keep reminding myself of the baby I am carrying and how next year will be different... but it is just so hard.

Anybody else miserable during this most joyous time of the year?

XM


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## Arduinna (May 30, 2002)

I'm not dreading it, but I do know what you mean. It seems like each holiday or milestone in our lives are bittersweet. There is the joy and excitement, but something is missing. I know each holiday I think of how old the baby would have been. This year I should have a toddler to shop for. But I don't. And my loss was just before dd's birthday, so each year it is a little bittersweet.

(((HUGS)))


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## KatherineinCA (Apr 4, 2002)

I know the holidays will be difficult for me and my family. We were supposed to have our new baby, and now we won't. I'm wondering how to muster the energy to carry on our traditions for my other chidren.

I don't have anything real insightful to say, just that I understand the apprehension about the holidays. And it sounds like you've got other complications thrown into the mix, because of your parents.


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## XM (Apr 16, 2002)

We are going to donate some gifts for a needy child that would be her age (9 1/2 months), probably light some candles... try not to think about what we are missing and fail miserably...

I don't really know.


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## Ms. Mom (Nov 18, 2001)

My heart is breaking for you. I know how hard this holiday season is going to be.

My only suggestion is to be gentle with yourself. Let yourself cry if you need to and surround ourself with people who care and won't cause you more stress.

Wishing you gentleness,

Jacque


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## srain (Nov 26, 2001)

Besides all the family stuff, all the Christmas carols that talk about baby Jesus throw me for a loop- Away in a Manger is the worst.


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