# Military Moms: May-June 2011



## ~Katie~ (Mar 18, 2007)

I realized I hadn't started new thread for May.

Congratulations on expecting a new addition, Rachel!

As far as the job situation, we're still waiting to hear back from IBM about his background check. Funny enough, he got an email today offering him an AGR captain slot in Phoenix, AZ. I think we're strongly considering it but we need more details about the unit's future plans and what the conditions of the orders are. It mostly has to do with finances at this point, Arizona is a lot more realistic financially than DC. They want an answer by Friday.

I'm almost 32 weeks now and physically I feel good but I'm tired and going into hibernation mode. I just want to move on to the next stage of things and focus on meeting our newest addition without having to worry about everything else. We aren't moving until the beginning of August, I'm technically due July 2nd but I don't anticipate making it that far, somewhere between 20-29th sounds about right.


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## ~adorkable~ (Nov 7, 2007)

Hi folks welcome to may!

Haven't done an intro in a while....
I'm a army wife currently stationed in DC, dh is in the medical core and is neck deep in the BRAC that is merging Walter Reed with National Naval Medical Center. We moved here in Sept when I was 20 weeks preggo and now have 4 month old twins. Life as a mom has been treating me very good, I feel like I'm turning out to better at this than I had thought I would be. I have even toyed with the idea of having more, but I think in the end I will come to understand that's a bit crazy.

I'm feeling pretty disconnected to the military as a whole right now, medical units that are hospitals or clinics tend to be pretty scattered, and since they do not deploy together (usually are loaned out provost one at a time) there is not really any FRG or unit function. Between that and not living on or near a real base, it feels far away. Some would like that, I kinda find it a bummer, there is something I like about being around on a base, even to just go to the px and the gym, I feel like I'm not alone then. I could use a bit more of that right now.

If I was not up to my eyebrows in babies, I would go look for some army volunteer roles, but I'm in no spot for any of that.

We did get an invite to a tribute dinner to combat medics, Gen. Odierno was the keynote speaker and that was pretty powerful, he is a very charismatic powerful speaker.

anyway, happy May everyone, great news about Osama, sad more had to die, but at least it was the guilty this time. Hope this gives focus and an end game to all the missions. I've never known the military in a time of peace, it is a far away dream that seems a tiny bit closer this week.

On a lighter note, today is one year from when I ovulated in that blissful cycle my twins came into this world. It seems like a wonderful thing to celebrate! So happy LifeDay babies, you are truly one year old today!!!!


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## MaerynPearl (Jun 21, 2008)

I celebrated the cycle I got pregnant with Mae. A lot of people celebrated with me (not realizing they were, it was Christmas! lol)

We have passed our mail cutoff... I've started making signs... I HAD bought a gorgeous dress to wear but the gosh darn post office didn't deliver it until 20 days later and by then I was gone on vacation... they attempted to deliver it twice, on the 27th and 28th and then returned it on the 2nd because I wasn't able to get into the post office... I hadn't gotten home until the 30th! Their policy is supposed to be first delivery... final attempt 3 days later) NOT the freaking NEXT day) and then return to sender 5 postal days after the first notice (which would be today) I even did their online form but they gave me the wrong number on my cards so it did me no good. I am SO grumpy right now.

Oh well, guess it means I need to reorder it and hope THIS time it gets here in time for homecoming!

oh and my introduction:

I used to be Army, my husband is a Marine, my brother is Army, sister is joining the Navy, one brother-in-law is a Marine, the other is joining the Navy, my step-dad is retired Navy... not to mention various cousins that are every branch but Air Force (not sure why none there) so I am unfortunately very much in a military family. Which is crazy because 5 years ago the only connection I had was myself former Army and my father Navy and not a sign of any other military.

My husband is currently deployed through some pretty big issues... in Japan during the earthquake/tsunami and while tornadoes hit us here... I can NOT wait until this deployment is over and I get him home.

And because I'm a geek: May the Fourth be with you!


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## SierraBella (Mar 2, 2011)

Hi Mamas, I hope I can join your thread 

My DF is a Reserves Marine, and we are expecting our baby in Dec (I have 2 children from a previous marriage). He is leaving in 5 days to go to Africa for his annual training for a month. I've never dealt with him being gone on deployment, I met him after he got back from Iraq last year.

But, I am still nervous about him being gone for a month. I'm having some pregnancy complications (SCH) and I don't have anyone else close to me where I live.

Looking forward to getting to know you all.


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## Mommyofalmost6 (Sep 12, 2007)

Adorkable, we were stationed at NNMC before we PCSed to Hampton Roads. I had my right now youngest at the hospital. It is a different feeling. Very civillian being there. I understand your being disconnected and wanting more of that military feeling. I admit I didnt understand that till we moved here and got our first shore duty though! I am a Navy wife but understand what you mean very well! And btw your twins are adorable!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *~Adorkable~*
> 
> Hi folks welcome to may!
> 
> ...


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## ~Katie~ (Mar 18, 2007)

Adorkable - I'm sorry you're feeling disconnected. I would suggest mom groups but I know that isn't the same thing.

We're heading to Phoenix. DH will finish out his last three years with a Army Reserve MI unit there. He's getting promoted and he's working with a small staff, but it sounds like it will be really flexible. And no anticipated deployments for the next three years, even then they only deploy as a company so if they don't need someone they don't take them. I was looking forward to having the job with IBM work out and being closer to family but they didn't offer him enough money, at least this way he can gain more experience and the cost of living will be much less. Oh and they drill in Hawaii. I think mama is going to get a beach vacation









His start date is August, 8th so we'll probably start the trip out of here on the 1st. It should take us about 5 days. I'm sad to leave my friends and neighborhood here but I'm looking forward to new beginnings, and I'm under far less stress now so I can concentrate on finishing out my pregnancy.


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## catholic74 (May 21, 2007)

Hi everyone. I've been an Army wife for 10 years. We're in Georgia now. I've got three little ones with another one on the way. Just thought I'd stop in and meet with other Army wives who are more natural minded. We just moved to our new post and I haven't met anyone yet who "thinks like me" in terms of birthing and parenting and while that doesn't mean I can't be friends with those wives I meet, I must admit, it makes me feel a little lonely at times. It's just nice when you meet someone that feels the way you do about things.


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## MaerynPearl (Jun 21, 2008)

I've been blessed to meet a couple ladies who feel the same way... but I know how you feel... back home no one did. My own mother thought it was crazy to homebirth and only backed off from arguing with me over it because my husband would be there.


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## catholic74 (May 21, 2007)

Army wives come from a varied background so there's all types around a military post, that's for sure and I often think there must be natural minded mamas out there, but they, like me, don't tend to advertise their alternative way of thinking for so many reasons.....people looking at you strangely, not understanding no matter how much you explain or simply not wanting to be the "strange one" in the group! Sometimes, we're easy to spot though. I remember at my last post, I was at story time at the post library and my almost 2 year old wanted to nurse. I was a bit self concious, thinking most if not all of the moms would think it's weird to be nursing an older toddler, but I did it anyway because my toddler was getting cranky and insistent and I didn't want to leave becuase my older daughter was enjoying the story time. So, I said a little prayer, took a deep breath and just nursed my toddler, hoping no one would stare. After storytime was over, one of the wives approached me and said something like "It's so nice to see someone else who nurses their older baby too!!! It turns out we has do much in common.....homebirthing, cloth diapering, extended breastfeeding, co-sleeping, attatchment parenting habits, etc.....we were good friends for years and I cried when I moved away. You just never know when you'll meet someone or where!


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## MaerynPearl (Jun 21, 2008)

I've found that finding them starts with something little and then we slowly open up about more and more that we do. One of them and I started opening up over baby wearing. She's a bit crunchier than I am, but I admire her for that and she most definitely doesn't look down on me for being "soggy"

One neighbor though I sort of did it backwards, only because we moved here when I was 7 months pregnant with Mae and the automatic first things you ask a lady who just moved to an area with a huge old tummy are "How far along are you?" "Which hospital will you be having her at?" and I had to explain we were homebirthing. Luckily she didnt think I was crazy... she had had 2 c-sections but said she wished she had been able to home birth. And from there we started to share that we breastfeed, cloth diaper, etc. I've rubbed off on her and made her a bit crunchier too... plus she's been my "getting healthy" buddy.

Speaking of getting healthy!

I am down 30 pounds since January, I am down almost 10 from where I was when I got pregnant with Mae. My son told me, the other day, "I'm glad to see you getting back to yourself" (aww, the tears!)

AND! Our FRO emailed us our homecoming window and its a couple weeks sooner than I thought and coming up quickly and I am just so excited to have my husband coming home!!!!


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## chely7425 (Aug 8, 2007)

Well, we made it to Louisiana  This is the first time I have moved without DH but it went SO well. My friend came with me and the kids did so well. We drove 2500 miles in 5 days... I am definitely glad to be done with it!! Now we are just working on getting settled and cleaning and stuff. Hopefully the next 4-6 months fly by so DH will be home!


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## justKate (Jun 10, 2008)

Rachel, glad you made it! Hopefully getting settled in to the new place will help the time fly by.

MP, way to go on the weight loss! Are you doing anything specific? I really need to drop 10 lbs just to make myself feel better, but I'm lazy and DH likes ice cream. I tend to hide my crunchiness for some reason. I guess I just don't want to "get in to it" with people--and honestly I don't want to hear how people make their babies CIO and think cloth is "gross." And hooray for homecomings! Has your DH seen you since you lost the weight? He's not going to know what to do with you!

catholic74 and Sierra Bella, welcome!

Katie, I'm glad you at least know where you're going, and you can put all of this stress behind you. It's hard to believe that your new baby will be here so soon!

Adorkable, your twins are getting so big. They look so serious, they're adoreable. IKWYM about the DC area. We were there when we met--even though there's a lot of military, it's sort of scattered and doesn't feel like a community the way it does elsewhere.

Mommytoalmost6, we'll be neighbors soon! Well, sort of. We're going to be living in Gloucester and DH will work at TRACEN Yorktown. Do you happen to know what medical we'll be assigned to? I'm thinking possibly Langley AFB, Ft. Eustice, or Yorktown NWS.... Also, I've heard that if the MTFs are full, they'll send you out to a civilian. Anyone have any experience with this? I'd rather see civilians but since I'm going to be a SAH we'll be on Prime until we get the finances straight....

Other than that, we have 6 days left in Texas before the big road trip to Virginia begins! I'm ready, mostly, the house is leased, I have 2 days of work left, and the movers are coming on the 23rd. On to the next adventure!


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## MaerynPearl (Jun 21, 2008)

DH has no clue how much I've lost. I've used sparkpeople.com to track my calories in and out, walk 2 miles a day minimum, do some Zumba on my XBox and some weight training. It doesnt take up much of my day, maybe an hour total, but it has made all the difference in the world.

Yesterday, I measured my waist and I am down from a 51 inch waist (which hurts to even think about) to a 39 inch waist and still dropping!


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## justKate (Jun 10, 2008)

Congrats! That really is something to be proud of, because it's all YOU.


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## SierraBella (Mar 2, 2011)

So, my DF left for Morocco 3 days ago, and I haven't heard from him  How long does it usually take for your DH's to be able to contact you after they leave? He'll only be gone for one month, but I was really hoping he'd be able to call me or email me by now.


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## Sarah W (Feb 9, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *SierraBella*
> 
> So, my DF left for Morocco 3 days ago, and I haven't heard from him  How long does it usually take for your DH's to be able to contact you after they leave? He'll only be gone for one month, but I was really hoping he'd be able to call me or email me by now.


It depends...it can take anywhere from a day to a week. It depends on where he stopped over, if he's waiting for a flight, the availability of phones and the lines. When I was in Kuwait, I got in and out within 24 hours, but some people can be there for up to a week.


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## Sarah W (Feb 9, 2008)

Oh, we had our baby! Harper Jay was born on 3 May, she was 7lb 15oz. I was 41 weeks and ended up being induced, since our visiting childcare had to go back to CA. LOL She's super cute and has almost the same temperament as DD#1.


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## MaerynPearl (Jun 21, 2008)

When my husband went to Kuwait and Iraq he got ahold of me same day. Japan it took him a week and even then communication was spotty for about 2 months. The past couple months we have been able to talk nearly daily though... and before too long he will finally be home yay!

And weighed myself today. I am down 31 pounds... but more importantly... I am a weight I have not been since I was pregnant with my daughter. And I don't mean Mae. I mean the one who will be 6 next month. Hoping I can drop 9 pounds now before hubby is home... and then 30 by November so I can be the smallest I've been in 9 years for our first Marine Corps ball! I already have my dress picked out, just can't buy it until I know what size I will be!


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## SierraBella (Mar 2, 2011)

Congrats Sarah!! I love the name Harper!

Maeryn- 31 pounds, that's amazing! I will be 8 months pregnant for the Marine Ball! I've been looking at formal maternity dresses already! hehe

DF sent me a text-email today to tell me he made it and is alright (and he loves and misses me too, of course!), and that he won't have real communication for another week. So, I'm sooo glad he found a way to contact me, and I'll just look forward to when he can call me


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## justKate (Jun 10, 2008)

Quote:



> Originally Posted by *Sarah W*
> 
> Oh, we had our baby! Harper Jay was born on 3 May, she was 7lb 15oz. I was 41 weeks and ended up being induced, since our visiting childcare had to go back to CA. LOL She's super cute and has almost the same temperament as DD#1.










Congratulations!


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## ~adorkable~ (Nov 7, 2007)

Sarah congrats on the baby, yeah Harper is a great name!

Mae wow great for you getting into better shape, it must feel so good. I'm down 18 pounds from prepregnacy and yeah it feels awesome! Haven't weighed this in over 6 years!

Sierra, I was 33 weeks with my twin at last years Christmas ball, it was a blast (and such a sweet picture) I scrappy wore a non maternity gown, it was a stretchy sheith dress with some wonderful needing that had from a previous ball. I had to tweak it a tad to fit my boobs ( cut the slip out of the boob area, did not zip it the last 3 inches and tucked the open zipper in, then wore a sleek tank under it. ) no one ever noticed anything but how nice it looked! I'll post a picture.

I'm of the opinion after being preggo with twins that women often feel like blimps because we get dressed like one. I wore tighter clothing while preggo than I had in a decade and felt sexy cute like I hadn't in nearly that long because of it!


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## SierraBella (Mar 2, 2011)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *~Adorkable~*
> 
> Sierra, I was 33 weeks with my twin at last years Christmas ball, it was a blast (and such a sweet picture) I scrappy wore a non maternity gown, it was a stretchy sheith dress with some wonderful needing that had from a previous ball. I had to tweak it a tad to fit my boobs ( cut the slip out of the boob area, did not zip it the last 3 inches and tucked the open zipper in, then wore a sleek tank under it. ) no one ever noticed anything but how nice it looked! I'll post a picture.


I have found a couple of dresses I like.. the problem that I've noticed is that they are black (which is OK, but it seams like ALL formal dresses are black and I want something different & unique but beautiful), or they are trashy looking (I don't want to look like a pregnant prostitute!).

I've narrowed it down to these, unless I find something I like more:

http://www.pricepluckers.com/Foxy-One-Shoulder-Formal-Maternity-Dress-BI-146.htm

http://www.duematernity.com/gobamamadrby.html

http://www.duematernity.com/desadrbyri.html

I know this is waaaay early, but I have been looking forward to it since we got together (last year we were just friends and weren't dating yet, so he took someone else).


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## ~adorkable~ (Nov 7, 2007)

I toattlay agree on bEing sick of black dresses and don't even get me started on the prom/ prostitute dresses. I jest went to a really important dinner were Gen Odearno sp? was the key note speaker and a fellow medic was getting a award on behalf of the in tire army's combat medics. The dress was business dress and he let his girlfriend that clearly tons of folks were going to see and get introduced to come in a mini dress and 6 inch hot pink platform high heals! Don't our guys ever get schooled on what not to drag in front of their generals? I often go for red, dh loves when i make an entrance, he's the quiet type but loves for me to get noticed.

Also if it is a evening ball I would consider sticking with long dresses, that first one is really pretty, since it is made to order they be able to make it a bit longer for you. The other way to not look to promise is to avoid the classic prom/bridesmaid updo, their are classier versions that look more mature and unique.


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## SierraBella (Mar 2, 2011)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *~Adorkable~*
> 
> I toattlay agree on bEing sick of black dresses and don't even get me started on the prom/ prostitute dresses. I jest went to a really important dinner were Gen Odearno sp? was the key note speaker and a fellow medic was getting a award on behalf of the in tire army's combat medics. The dress was business dress and he let his girlfriend that clearly tons of folks were going to see and get introduced to come in a mini dress and 6 inch hot pink platform high heals! Don't our guys ever get schooled on what not to drag in front of their generals? I often go for red, dh loves when i make an entrance, he's the quiet type but loves for me to get noticed.
> 
> Also if it is a evening ball I would consider sticking with long dresses, that first one is really pretty, since it is made to order they be able to make it a bit longer for you. The other way to not look to promise is to avoid the classic prom/bridesmaid updo, their are classier versions that look more mature and unique.


My problem with long dresses is that I am petite, so long dresses are always too long on me.. but since these are made to order then I guess I could tell them what length I need!

There is also this one that I like too: http://www.pricepluckers.com/Angelica-One-Shoulder-Maternity-Formal-Dress-BI-144.htm


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## ~adorkable~ (Nov 7, 2007)

Having a dress hemmed is the radiate change to make, and when your preggo the hem will fall funny so getting ti done close to the Ball might be a good idea, then after you birth you can re hem it since it will be long in frontvat that point.

I love that last one, mostly cause it has a pleated bottom rather than gathered, makes it fall better and look high end. If it were mine I may find some small real silk flowers in a brighter color that go with it and nessle a few in with the ones on the strap, and then put on in my hair.


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## ~Katie~ (Mar 18, 2007)

Congratulations, Sarah!!!

Dresses - I haven't been to a ball while heavily pregnant but agree that longer evening gowns are better for more formal occasions. Some of the things I've seen worn at balls leave me wondering what some people are thinking when they put them on. I'm more of a dark color person but I like when special fabrics and pleating/draping make a dress look more custom and different from what everyone else is wearing. I agree that getting it hemmed and altered before going to the ball would be a good idea because a seamstress can make adjustments for bust size as well as the proper hem length since you have a belly to contend with.

Nothing much to report here. Going on 34 weeks and having good days and bad days. DH is working on all his paperwork for taking the AGR slot. He still needs to be released from his NG unit so he can switch over to Reserves, and we're told this shouldn't be a problem but I'm anticipating having issues. I really don't know why since he's been in a temporary unit for the last 6 months for soldiers who aren't needed, so if they don't need him the most logical decision would be to release him.


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## SierraBella (Mar 2, 2011)

Having the dress hemmed right before is a great idea... so smart! There are a few places in town that do custom alterations for pretty inexpensively, and I think my cousin also does them. I think I'm leaning towards the last dress too.. I like the purple color as well. I like the idea of the flowers in the hair.. if I can find some I will try that  I am so excited about it! It's forever away, but since this baby is due at the end of the year, most everything on my mind is stuff going on that time of year- Halloween, Thanksgiving, Marines Ball, & Christmas!


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## ~adorkable~ (Nov 7, 2007)

head to a joann's fabric store and look at their silk flowers once you have a dress in your hand, you will notice some of their stuff is pretty cheesy and plastic but other ones are very very nice and more like fabric or real flowers, i have made many a hair piece from a great flower and a matching feather or two. i one even saved a favorite sweater that has a fe moth holes on the front of the shoulder area with sewing on a sprinkling of tiny coordinating flowers, it was great!


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## MaerynPearl (Jun 21, 2008)

I also agree with going with the longer dress. I've actually been told around here to avoid anything mid calf or above or it reflects poorly on your man (after all, when you are with someone in the military, you are no longer "just a civilian" but rather a reflection of him in the eyes of his higher-ups)

I believe this is the one I will be going with this year - http://www.unique-vintage.com/preorderburgundy-long-sleeve-beaded-lace-taffeta-prom-gown-m5xl-p-11791.html

Granted, I'm not pregnant. And will hopefully be back down to my pre-first-pregnancy size and looking fantabulous in time for his ball in November.


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## SierraBella (Mar 2, 2011)

Maeryn- that dress is stunning!!!

I would have no difficultly finding a truly spectacular dress, if not for me being 8+ months pregnant! Next year (which will also likely be his last) I will be able to wear a "normal" dress


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## ~Katie~ (Mar 18, 2007)

Very classy and pretty, MP! I love the corset-style back.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MaerynPearl*
> 
> I also agree with going with the longer dress. I've actually been told around here to avoid anything mid calf or above or it reflects poorly on your man (after all, when you are with someone in the military, you are no longer "just a civilian" but rather a reflection of him in the eyes of his higher-ups)
> 
> ...


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## MaerynPearl (Jun 21, 2008)

Being as I will be 29 this year I decided "classy" and "sophisticated" had to be major adjectives for whatever dress I chose. My hubby may be SNCO by the ball so I can't go looking like a 29 year old shoved into a 17 year olds prom dress hanging off his arm!

BTW I was finally able to look at those links... I like that last one the most, the greek looking, one shoulder, floor length one. And I think the form would keep you from looking bad despite being short.

I'm 5'8" so I've never had the height issue in that respect (just getting dresses and pants that are long enough!) but I'm sure it's frustrating!


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## ~adorkable~ (Nov 7, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MaerynPearl*
> 
> Being as I will be 29 this year I decided "classy" and "sophisticated" had to be major adjectives for whatever dress I chose. My hubby may be SNCO by the ball so I can't go looking like a 29 year old shoved into a 17 year olds prom dress hanging off his arm!


well you nail that goal on that dress, the first thing i thought the moment i saw it was "that's an officer's wife!"

like i have said before i feel like since our AD spouses cant pick what they wear, they get to express themselves a tad thru us and when i go to a Army function i consider myself his accessory in the best of ways. looking smashing and making a great impression with his peers and command is part of my job, and i love my job.


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## ~Katie~ (Mar 18, 2007)

I thought the same thing. It's a great dress.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *~Adorkable~*
> 
> well you nail that goal on that dress, the first thing i thought the moment i saw it was *"that's an officer's wife!"*
> 
> like i have said before i feel like since our AD spouses cant pick what they wear, they get to express themselves a tad thru us and when i go to a Army function i consider myself his accessory in the best of ways. looking smashing and making a great impression with his peers and command is part of my job, and i love my job.


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## BirthIsAwesome (Nov 14, 2007)

Hey ladies! I'm an Air Force wife and we are currently stationed in Italy. My dad was in the AF, my FIL was in the Army, my grandfather was in the National Guard, my grandmother was in the AF, my other grandfather was in the Navy, my great uncle was in the Army...I think that's all. So military runs in our family. My husband has only been in for not quite 2 years. We moved here a year ago when I was 4.5 months pregnant, but I have formed an awesome support network of other AF wives who are crunchy  I had an awesome homebirth in October and gave birth to my amazing little boy, Malachi. I'm glad to meet all of you and looking forward to getting to know you better!


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## Mommyofalmost6 (Sep 12, 2007)

I switched to standard for pregnancy care, but had minimal problems with Prime here. My kids are at a MTF branch clinic and while I like the clinic I hate their dr. I am working on Tricare to change their dr. Its been a PITA though to do it since the MTFs here are full so I want to go to a civillian dr. I can but I have to argue with them first *sigh*

I have heard good things about the area you are headed to though so I am sure you will have better luck! Good luck with the drive and move. You wont be to terrible far from me we will have to get together 

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *justKate*
> 
> .
> 
> ...


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## Mommyofalmost6 (Sep 12, 2007)

That dress is stunning!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MaerynPearl*
> 
> I also agree with going with the longer dress. I've actually been told around here to avoid anything mid calf or above or it reflects poorly on your man (after all, when you are with someone in the military, you are no longer "just a civilian" but rather a reflection of him in the eyes of his higher-ups)
> 
> ...


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## Kontessa (Nov 5, 2005)

Military wife of near 13 years and in Maryland right now and I expect for another few years. I wish I could find some local friends I had even a little in common with at this point. I don't want to go out and drink for girls nights. I want book groups and crafting gatherings and play dates! I want friends who will swarm on a friends house to make is spotless simply because they know she is having a hard day and her DH is away. I miss helping friends. I miss friends calling in the middle of the night to drop kids off for what ever reason. I miss friends calling me just to give me a heads up over a crazy long line at the gate! I miss being able to call a friend over a thunder storm to ask if her toddler is sleeping through it and yet her 7 year old is hiding under the kitchen table. LOL

We have been here for 5 months and I have yet to make a friend. I am sure it my own fault. I just can't seem to figure out how to find the kinds of friends I will have something in common with! I am 31 and feeling old, it seems the online active mothers online on FB are all young party girls and while I am happy for them, I need a tribe I fit into!


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## ~adorkable~ (Nov 7, 2007)

Kontessa, where are you in MD? im in Bethesda and even though your kids are a bit older than mine, i would love to be the kind of friend you are talking about!

BirthIsAwesome, welcome to the military thread, Italy must be a nice place to get put for a few years!!!


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## aHikaru (Apr 12, 2011)

I didn't know this thread existed, how exciting 

I myself am a military wife to a Coastie that has been under Naval, Marine and Army command, and has the medals to prove it  He was deployed overseas while AE was born and is currently on extended orders in the south.

We've been seriously considering joining him on his tour of the south, but he moves on a bi weekly basis, which is tough for a two year old about to start preschool, we'll see what happens, but that's were we are at.


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## MaerynPearl (Jun 21, 2008)

I hope yall don't mind me venting but I need to get it out...

They told us his homecoming window. I cried because I was happy.

Then, not only did they take that window away... they told us although they don't know WHEN it will be now, it will probably be several weeks to over a month later! Why would they even give us the window if they were going to just take it away?! And the new possible dates are later than even my pessimistic guess at the beginning of this deployment!

I just wish they would send them home already. They aren't doing anything but sitting around every day. They finished their training and turned over the vehicles to another group that is there so they have nothing to do. Why must they keep my husband over there and away from our daughter who has already hit pretty much all of the huge milestones apart from walking while her daddy was gone... I'd like him to have at least THAT.

Grrrrrr sometimes military life is just SO FRUSTRATING!


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## ~Katie~ (Mar 18, 2007)

I could have written your post about a year ago. It was a nightmare and all because of idiocy. I hope whatever reason is keeping him there is resolved soon, it's the most frustrating and maddening thing in the world. If they don't know they shouldn't say anything, but they do it because it makes it look like they're doing something at least.

They lied to us for 22 days while the last of the unit was stuck trying to get home and the entire chain of command had abandoned them and jumped ship, and when it was finally resolved I had 2 days notice.

You have a right to vent and don't let anybody tell you otherwise.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MaerynPearl*
> 
> I hope yall don't mind me venting but I need to get it out...
> 
> ...


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## SierraBella (Mar 2, 2011)

I am still obbessing on maternity dresses for the Marine Ball, lol. I found this website where all the dresses can be made maternity, and some of them aren't half bad (OK, some are really great!).

DF gets back in 2 weeks (and a 1/2 day)! And I got to Skype with him today!


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## MaerynPearl (Jun 21, 2008)

wow... ill have to share that link with some of my friends who are upset about being pregnant for the ball!


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## SierraBella (Mar 2, 2011)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MaerynPearl*
> 
> wow... ill have to share that link with some of my friends who are upset about being pregnant for the ball!


Yeah, that's a gold mine for formal maternity dresses! Here are the ones I like (that would fit an 8 month pregnant woman!):

#1: http://www.tjformal.com/48752/636452/Maternity-Bridesmaids/Bari-Jay-Bridesmaid-Dress-111.html

#2: http://www.tjformal.com/48752/550298/Maternity-Bridesmaids/Bari-Jay-Bridesmaid-Dress-809.html

#3: http://www.tjformal.com/48752/586019/Maternity-Bridesmaids/Bari-Jay-Bridesmaid-Dress-921.html

#4: http://www.tjformal.com/48752/716805/Maternity-Bridesmaids/Bari-Jay-Bridesmaid-Dress-312.html

#5: http://www.tjformal.com/48752/585994/Maternity-Bridesmaids/Bari-Jay-Bridesmaid-Dress-917.html

I think I like the first one the best, and I love that green (also DF's favorite color).


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## MaerynPearl (Jun 21, 2008)

I also like the first the best. The others are nice but that first one is just outright beautiful.


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## SierraBella (Mar 2, 2011)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MaerynPearl*
> 
> I also like the first the best. The others are nice but that first one is just outright beautiful.


I think I like that one the best too. I found it for $40 cheaper on another site  I think DF will also like it. I'm only worried about strapless.. and hope my pregnant boobs would fit into a strapless gown!


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## MaerynPearl (Jun 21, 2008)

I have 38 FF currently and could wear strapless. You'll be fine


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## ~Katie~ (Mar 18, 2007)

I like the first and second the best, but the second in a different color. When in doubt, order a size up and a seamstress can take it in at the bust as necessary.


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## MaerynPearl (Jun 21, 2008)

I feel like curling up in a ball and crying. I want my husband home. I want to know WHEN he will be home. Why is that soooooo much to ask? It's going to be within the next 2 months... being able to pinpoint it to even a week would be nice... would let me know when I need to get things done (like taking in my dress, making the sign, getting the baby's homecoming outfit, stocking the fridge with the foods he'd want)


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## SierraBella (Mar 2, 2011)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MaerynPearl*
> 
> I feel like curling up in a ball and crying. I want my husband home. I want to know WHEN he will be home. Why is that soooooo much to ask? It's going to be within the next 2 months... being able to pinpoint it to even a week would be nice... would let me know when I need to get things done (like taking in my dress, making the sign, getting the baby's homecoming outfit, stocking the fridge with the foods he'd want)










I hope you find out soon!!

Mine comes back in 1 1/2 weeks. I can't wait!


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## BirthIsAwesome (Nov 14, 2007)

I hear you Maeryn...okay, here's a funny (WASN'T FUNNY AT THE TIME) story for you. I wasn't at my own wedding ceremony thanks to the Air Force. So my hubby (then fiance) was in Tech School with a graduation date set for the last weekend in April. Our wedding date was set for the first weekend in May. So he graduates Basic and gets his assignment a week later...Italy. There was no way I could accompany him to Italy if we waited to get married in May because there is a lot of processing to be done for an overseas PCS (note that I was just with him one week earlier at his Basic Graduation, if we had known this then we could have gotten married that weekend at the courthouse or something). So we ended up having to get married by proxy, with one of his buddies standing in for me (THAT made for a hilarious picture lol). Well, we still wanted a "real" wedding ceremony (with both of us there), so we decided to continue planning the wedding and we would just tell parents and such that we were already married. So I planned the whole thing and put down payments on the location and etc. and then the AF decided to add two weeks to his Tech school (like a month before he was to graduate). Of course, everywhere was booked for weddings a month out (including the base Chapels), so no luck. Thankfully we were able to get our money back from the down payments, but we didn't have a wedding venue. On top of that, he gets told that even after he graduates there is no telling when his orders will come through, and that he can't leave the base until he has orders. So pretty much there is no planning a wedding, even of the smallest sort, because we will have no notice of when he's coming home for leave until he gets orders. And at that point he would be home within 2-3 days. So the wedding gets scrapped (we're married legally, anywho) and I wait around for news that he's coming home. He gets orders 5 days after graduating (top of his class!) and is home 2 days later. So yeah...I learned quickly not to make any plans or to expect the AF to cooperate with any plans I might want to make. <hugs>, cause I totally get it.

ETA: Oh and did I mention that I also got pregnant on my trip to visit him for Basic graduation? So I was dealing with 1st trimester pregnancy hormones that whole time on top of all the wedding stress


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## SierraBella (Mar 2, 2011)

My guy comes home in one week!!

our wedding.. well, we're planning on eloping, kind of, whenever we can. He's in the reserves, so his schedule is mostly open to plan things, but basically I'm waiting for my divorce to be finalized (my ex is dragging it out in court- we would have been divorced a long time ago if he wasn't dragging it out). We pretty much plan on getting married within days of my divorce- how romantic, huh? hehe But, we can't plan or set a date, unless it's a year or two away, because I have no idea when its all finally going to be over with.


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## MaerynPearl (Jun 21, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *SierraBella*
> 
> My guy comes home in one week!!
> 
> our wedding.. well, we're planning on eloping, kind of, whenever we can. He's in the reserves, so his schedule is mostly open to plan things, but basically I'm waiting for my divorce to be finalized (my ex is dragging it out in court- we would have been divorced a long time ago if he wasn't dragging it out). We pretty much plan on getting married within days of my divorce- how romantic, huh? hehe But, we can't plan or set a date, unless it's a year or two away, because I have no idea when its all finally going to be over with.


Yay!

and UGH... I went through the same stuff. We started planning our wedding as of the day after my divorce was final and were married 2 months later! It will be a year in 8 days... and it sucks SO bad that he's going to miss our 1 year anniversary 

But then, we've never had a Valentines Day or Easter together in our entire nearly 4 year relationship, so what do I expect?!


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## SierraBella (Mar 2, 2011)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MaerynPearl*
> 
> Yay!
> 
> ...


So, if I have the math right, you were together for 3 years before your divorce was final?

(feeling hopeless over here that this will never end!)


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## MaerynPearl (Jun 21, 2008)

Yes but... we only took about 6 months to get the divorce final once we were able to actually FIND my ex husband and serve him. He didn't show up for anything so it was pretty easy for me to get everything I asked for. They won't let you just divorce someone without proving you exhausted your resources trying to find them


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## justKate (Jun 10, 2008)

MP, I LOVE the dress. And vent away, it is shitty that they gave you a window at all just to take it away.









Kontessa, where in MD are you? I grew up in Charles Co. and my parents live in Dunkirk now.

SierraBella, love the dress. I hope you can get it to fit the way you want it to.

Katie, IKWYM about anticipating problems even though there's no reason to think there should be problems. I'm sick of something ALWAYS going wrong. It sucks. Sucks sucks sucks. I'm always on edge, every time there are plans.

Now going back a page to see who I missed....

cassandraz, I'm a coastie wife too! Sometimes it sucks being under Navy command, because you get spoiled (IMO) just to come back to the CG's "leverage your people, not your equipment" attitude. Ah well.

mommytoalmost6, have you been told that the MTFs here are full lately? DH is reporting today and I need to call Tricare and switch us over from South to, ah, I guess this is considered North. My plan is to complain about Ft. Eustis being 15 miles away and hope that they'll give DD and I waivers to see civilians. Or maybe they'll be full there. Fingers crossed....

BirthisAwesome, hello again! I've been absent from here as well as the CTA thread.

So I am officially sick of moving. I never want to do it again. Every time we move they break stuff that i care about--not the crap, you know, but the one chair I really like, or my sewing box, or whatever. I'll get over it, I guess, I always do, but grrr it sucks. I'm definitely not buying any more decent furniture. DH reported in today to his new unit. He's been living the civilian life for 2 years now, and I can tell he was nervous. He's afraid he's going to forget to take off his hat inside, or forget about saluting, or something. It'll be funny to hear how it goes. Now we have to do a damage claim, and apparently you have to do it on move.mil now or something? Anyone done this before? Last time I did one it was all on paper--that was only 5 years ago!

Is there any other new-to-the-unit stuff we need to do that I might not know about? I can't really rely on DH for this stuff...other than switching our Tricare?

Now the baby is waking up....


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## madis81 (Jun 16, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *justKate*
> 
> mommytoalmost6, have you been told that the MTFs here are full lately? DH is reporting today and I need to call Tricare and switch us over from South to, ah, I guess this is considered North. My plan is to complain about Ft. Eustis being 15 miles away and hope that they'll give DD and I waivers to see civilians. Or maybe they'll be full there. Fingers crossed....


Hey! I'm a thread stalker... just wanted to chime in here. We have standard, so I'm just going by what our neighbors and friends say. The MTF's at Eustis are full and when you go in you're likely to sit for a few hours just waiting. The specialists at the Naval Hospital in Portsmouth are booked up too. Our neighbor sat in a waiting room for an entire work day for an appt and mri. But then we have friends that see the MTF's on Langley AFB and they seem happy. That would be a looong drive for you though. I hope you can get waivers!

Is anyone from Bliss? We're headed there soon!


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## SierraBella (Mar 2, 2011)

I got to talk to DF online briefly yesterday and he told me he might be home one day earlier than I expected.. which means 3 days!!! YAY!!!









*madis81*- Where is Bliss?


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## madis81 (Jun 16, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *SierraBella*
> 
> *madis81*- Where is Bliss?


Southwest Texas. It's by El Paso, very close to Juarez, Mexico.


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## MaerynPearl (Jun 21, 2008)

My brother's stationed out at bliss...

Congrats SierraBella! We STILL have no clue when my hubbys coming home. Have his post-deployment block leave set in concrete (17 whole days of not dealing with the Marine Corps!) but yeah... no clue when he will be home. I guess I could go with the first day of block leave as when he will HAVE to be home by... but that would just be depressing, its still a month and half away!


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## SierraBella (Mar 2, 2011)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *madis81*
> 
> Southwest Texas. It's by El Paso, very close to Juarez, Mexico.


Oh cool. I am still VERY new to all things military, lol.

I've spent a lot of time in that area though. My grandmother used to live in El Paso and she'd take me to Juarez so that she could bring back an extra carton of cigarettes, lol


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## Mommyofalmost6 (Sep 12, 2007)

*JustKate* I have not heard about the MTFs being fully but I know they are miserable to deal with and you wait forever. You CAN appeal to see a civilian dr if they send you to an MTF. PM me if you want details


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## MaerynPearl (Jun 21, 2008)

Tomorrow is going to be very tough on me. Our first anniversary and I STILL don't have a date about when he is coming home.

Oh, and I'm photographing a homecoming. Yeah... photographing another Marine coming home on a very special day that I'm missing mine? Probably a dumb idea, but his wife is a very very very good friend of mine and I couldn't possibly tell her no or back out. It's important to her to have good photos!


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## MaerynPearl (Jun 21, 2008)

SO..... I haven't heard from my husband in over 24 hours... for the first time in months (even Typhoon Songda didn't keep his internet off this long)

And my stupid brain is saying he's on his way home and going to surprise me. My logical brain is saying no, the FRO didn't email us. My stupid brain is saying he told them not to because he wants to surprise me. My logical brain is saying SHUT UP you don't want to be disappointed when he gets on Skype later, it would make him feel bad! My stupid brain is saying the original date he was supposed to be home is well under a week away. My logical brain is saying hmmmmmmmm good point.

:|

Edit: over 48 hours. Still nothing :/

Edit again: over 72 hours. if he doesn't show up on my doorstep or at the very least attempt to call today I am going to be beyond pissed. Military or not, there's no excuse for this. He's not in a war zone, he's not working and he gave me no warning that it would be several days before I heard from him again.


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## Viola (Feb 1, 2002)

I hope he showed up and you are having a reunion now!


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## MaerynPearl (Jun 21, 2008)

Nope. And still no word from him. I can't sleep now and I'm in tears over this.


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## MovingMomma (Apr 28, 2004)

Oh, MaerynPearl, big







. I hope you hear something soon!


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## MaerynPearl (Jun 21, 2008)

Emailed the FRO but no response yet.

It's bothering me to think maybe I did something wrong and he's pissed at me and I don't know it?

I mean... that's the only logical conclusion my brain can come to for why he would play Words With Friends (which requires him to be near wireless internet on his iPod) and NOT get a hold of me at all.


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## MaerynPearl (Jun 21, 2008)

He was playing his X box.

For five days.

He's still in Japan... just the X box was more important than his family.

He is, though, now fully aware of just how pissed his wife is at him and that he is going to make it up to us (the kids and I) when he comes home.


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## Mommyofalmost6 (Sep 12, 2007)

Well I am glad you heard from him and I am glad he knows how pissed you are. I would be fuming and he would be hearing me where ever he was with out a phone! I am sorry you had to deal with that 

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MaerynPearl*
> 
> He was playing his X box.
> 
> ...


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## ~adorkable~ (Nov 7, 2007)

MP, keep in mind that homecoming can be stressful on him too, he may be having jitters about coming back to a baby that he hasn't seen most of her life and a wife that is expecting a lot from him. please give him all the benefit of the doubt you can muster. being mad at him right as he gets home does you or him no good


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## justKate (Jun 10, 2008)

MP, did he say why he was out of contact? That seems strange, that he wouldn't have known that you would be worried about him. I would be beyond pissed too, but maybe there's something going on that has him stressed--who knows. I hope that you can smooth over this so that there isn't any extra stress on his homecoming. Big hugs to you!


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## MaerynPearl (Jun 21, 2008)

He was playing video games. That's it.

He hasn't had a job to do in over a month as they already gave their vehicles over to the new guys coming in, he had nothing else to do, didn't even call the kids on Fathers Day... just sat and played video games on his time off for five days and didn't once think of the fact that yes, it will piss me off. Ignoring me for video games is a big part of the reason I divorced my ex-husband (as well as several other issues) and he knows it.

We're all better now though. He knows the Xbox is going in the closet when he gets home and that if he spends that long without calling me ever again the reason sure as heck better not be "video games."

I would have been fine if it were anything dealing with his job... but yeah... this is just uncalled for.


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## kristenok18 (Jun 26, 2006)

Hi ladies! My dh is AGR with the WI NG. He found out recently that there is about a 50% chance of him deploying for a year, with him leaving in about 6 weeks. He has to get approved by folks over in Europe to fill this slot, though, because it is several grades above his rank; we have no idea when he might find out whether he's going or not, but the CO of the detachment wants him for this slot. My question is, how do I prepare my son (will be turning 9 around the same time that dh would be leaving), when we don't know whether this will happen or not? Do we wait to tell him so that we don't worry him needlessly, or is it better to start preparing him now? I don't know what to do to help be ready for this, since nothing is decided.  I grew up in the military and spent large chunks of my childhood with my dad gone, but this will be our first extended separation as a couple and as parents (he's been gone for up to 10 weeks before). And being AGR, there aren't a whole lot of other military families around here that have btdt.

Thanks for any advice you might have!


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## ~Katie~ (Mar 18, 2007)

New thread!!!

http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/1321283/military-moms-july-august-2011#post_16549633


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