# Other parents disapproving of proper terms?



## clicksab (Oct 15, 2006)

Has anyone else encountered parents who think that teaching the proper terms for body parts (penis and vagina especially) is "wrong"? This weekend I was at a party and a bunch of moms that I don't really know or hang out with started talking about their sons and the funny things they do and say. Of course, one of them started talking about how it scares her how her son yanks on his "goober". I was actually a little confused at first until I realized that "goober" is code for penis. They continued on that subject and one of the ladies told a story about how a boy in her daycare kept saying that his penis hurt (ended up having a UTI) and she was like "I kept having to tell him to shush! I can't believe his mom told him to say penis, it's so embarrassing that he says that in front of the other kids!"

Um, what? You can't handle a 3 year old using the proper terms for his parts? Then shame him like he's doing something wrong? I mean, if you want to use cutesy names for your kids bits, that's your business...but it never occurred to me that people would think it was wrong for me to teach my kids the real terms! Anyone else encounter this? It really threw me for a loop.


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## EnviroBecca (Jun 5, 2002)

I heard that from my son's babysitter when he was too young to talk. She told me how a toddler there (home childcare) had spent much of the day singsonging, "Daddy has peeeenis! Mommy has gina!" and she said this was why parents should not teach their children the proper terms, because of the potential for embarrassment. (As if you won't be embarrassed if your child is singing, "Daddy has goober! Mommy has coochie!" in public.) She wanted me to teach my son to call it by the Tagalog word for bird because that's what they do in the Philippines (where she's from) and it works out so perfectly.







I don't speak Tagalog and promptly forgot the word, but I wasn't planning to use it anyway. We went on saying "penis" at home but my son has never become obsessed with the word. I don't see why it's a big deal.


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## Bellabaz (Feb 27, 2008)

I think its a shame, but it doesn't surprise me. Out society is so weird about bodies. We aren't supposed to talk about them or identify parts by the correct names, but nudity or partial nudity is everywhere. The parts are referred to with slang words or disrespectful terms in the media all the time. I am doing something similar with dd and any future kids( i mean teaching them the correct names not bug or bird or anything). I don't see anything wrong with it.


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## library lady (Sep 3, 2007)

My MIL does not like the kids to say butt. She calls it a po-po. SIL freaks if somebody says butt in her presence. It is bum-bum. So, I can only imagine what those two would have to say if they heard penis or vagina come out of a kid's mouth.







:


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## AliveMama (Mar 20, 2009)

I also find it funny that people teach their DDs to call their vulvas a "vagina"...

I'd much rather a cute term be used than an incorrect one.


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## Chinese Pistache (May 29, 2006)

My IL family gets all embarrassed about it, but oh well









I actually don't like the word "butt," at least not out of the mouths of my little ones. I mean, wouldn't the correct words be "buttocks," "anus," and so on?? We usually say "bum" or "rear." And of course, "penis," "vulva" and "vagina."


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## Jessy1019 (Aug 6, 2006)

People are weird.

My partner's brother and SIL teach their kids weird "code" names for their genitals, and his whole family thinks it's just crazy that my kids use words like penis and vagina as freely as they do, though I'm 100% certain they wouldn't like the kids using the (well-known, kind of "crude") slang words, which they also know.

And a funny story . . . we realized we'd slipped into a bad habit of using slang for our son's testicles and so I had a talk with him about the "real" name for his balls . . . when I confirmed with him a couple days later, to see if he remember, he said, "Umm, umm, ummm . . . ICICLES!!" He gets it now, but that cracked me up.


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## tbone_kneegrabber (Oct 16, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AliveMama* 
I also find it funny that people teach their DDs to call their vulvas a "vagina"...

I'd much rather a cute term be used than an incorrect one.









:

It irks me that people call it "vagina" Um the part you see is the vulva, the "inside" part is the vagina. Don't get all bent out of shape about folks using cutesy words if you aren't using the "correct" word anyway!


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## Quickbeam (Jan 6, 2009)

I don't know anyone like that...yet. My son is only two, though.

We have also fallen into the "balls" trap







. My DH doesn't say "testicles" and I think that's how it happened. As for saying "penis," it comes out "weenis" somehow. But there are no cutesy names; I'm not a fan of woo-woo and all that jazz.

BTW, "butt" is slang and not correct terminology anyway, so it really belongs with woo-woo and pee-pee IMO.


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## kriket (Nov 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AliveMama* 
I also find it funny that people teach their DDs to call their vulvas a "vagina"...

I'd much rather a cute term be used than an incorrect one.

I've thought about this, and where I agree, I don't expect toddlers to express that their 3rd distal phalanges is inflamed. I'm OK with "my finger hurts" KWIM?

Where they should be aware of the words for the specific parts, generalizing is also ok. Little boys have more then a penis, maybe it's their scrotum, or foreskin?

now, "cute" can be in the eye of the beholder. I've been known to call a butt cheek a biscuit, and am a fan of the genderless 'crotch' I however will NOT call something a dangle, peepee, hoha or chacha, unless I'm making fun of someone for being unable to say "penis"

Yoni is fair game. Its just a cool word.


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## Quickbeam (Jan 6, 2009)

I agree with kriket. I think there's a difference between having a sense of humor about your body and being ashamed of it.


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## Kerrie (Jul 23, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tbone_kneegrabber* 







:

It irks me that people call it "vagina" Um the part you see is the vulva, the "inside" part is the vagina. Don't get all bent out of shape about folks using cutesy words if you aren't using the "correct" word anyway!

I agree with this - kind of. When DD was an infant through a preschooler, we were part of a playgroup where I was the only one who used penis and vagina. The other moms only had boys and they called their penises and testicles 'their stuff' ie - don't touch your stuff. When one of the moms went to a sexual abuse talk, they were told a story about a little girl who kept telling the teacher 'Johnny keeps touching my purse.' The teachers kept telling her to use her words and tell him to stop. It was only after a while that they finally picked up that 'purse' was their family name for vagina or vulva. As for the PP, at least while I might not be using the exact correct term, if one of my DDs went to a teacher and said 'Johnny is touching my vagina' there would be no confusion that something not appropriate is going on. That being said, I have been trying to change our family word to vulva. So in answer to the OP's question, yes I have encountered people who did not approve of the words we used.


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## kriket (Nov 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kerrie* 
they were told a story about a little girl who kept telling the teacher 'Johnny keeps touching my purse.'











at least the little girl knew enough to tell someone! Can you imagine the frustration the child felt having the teacher 'brush her off' after getting the courage to tell on Johnny

very important to think about!


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## Daphneduck (Jan 22, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AliveMama* 
I also find it funny that people teach their DDs to call their vulvas a "vagina"...


That is my personal pet peeve.
I was taught as a child to refer to my external genitalia as my vulva. However, I was the only kid in my peer group that didn't use a cutesy name. I used to use the cutesy names when I was with my friends so that I wouldn't stand out as the only child that called her "pee-pee" a "vulva." My dd will learn the correct terminology, but if she wants to refer to her vulva by a cutesy name, that's fine with me.


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## Breeder (May 28, 2006)

My mother called my son's penis his "pee bird" once when he was about 3 yrs old. He looked at her like she had just grown a second head. I had to explain that she meant his penis. He was relieved, she looked faint.









As for the vagina thing, for me it's more like a lesser of two evils. Females do in fact have a body part known as a vagina (seen or unseen), but no one is walking around with a "cookie" in their underpants... well not a biological one at least.

(Cookie is what a friend of mine uses to refer to her daughter's genitals ... if she worked up to vagina I'd consider it an improvement)


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

I don't care if people use cutesy names -- we use cutesy names for lots of body parts, but not to the exclusion of the proper terms.

But yeah, I'd be irked if someone acted like the proper terms are dirty words or something -- I'd be very irritated with anyone who thought it was okay to chastise my son for saying penis or scrotum.


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## VisionaryMom (Feb 20, 2007)

We haven't encountered it, though I expect we will at some point. We have a group of friends who use correct terms, but most people here don't. DS told me the other day that his friend says a scrotum is a 'beehive,' so I had to explain why that's not what DS was thinking of (we read an article about beekeeping recently).


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## NettleTea (Aug 16, 2007)

:


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## JennaW (Oct 11, 2007)

I haven't found anyone to think it is wrong but I have found that people are embarrassed by it. We use the term vulva for the all encompassing "female parts". When appropriate we use vagina, labia, ect.. We use penis, testicles, scrotum ect. for "male parts".

I have found the my Mom is really uncomfortable using the correct terms which just seems weird to me considering she is the daughter of a physician and an RN. But they grew up saying "nunu" for females and "ditty wee" for males. My Mom used "nunu" growing up but also taught us that the "correct term" was vagina, which of course when I was pregnant and spending a lot of time on MDC I learned was actually not the correct term.









So, now I can make myself feel silly. What is the correct term for a "butt"? We have gotten into saying "bottom" but I would rather use the correct term but I wasn't sure if it is "buttocks" or "gluteus maximus"? I worry that gluteus maximus would be difficult for DD to say until she is much older and might be confusing, if (God forbid) she was ever sexually abused and she tried to tell someone and her "version" of it came out as something not recognizable, KWIM?


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## JennaW (Oct 11, 2007)

I also wanted to say, growing up I was MUCH more embarrassed by the cutsey terms "nunu" and "bum-bum" then the proper term "vagina" (which I now know is not the proper term but I didn't know any better growing up).


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## CaraboosMama (Mar 31, 2005)

I don't understand why anyone would be offended by the names of body parts - a penis is a body part, an elbow is a body part, a forhead is a body part, etc. They need to get over themselves!


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## poiyt (Jul 6, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AliveMama* 
I also find it funny that people teach their DDs to call their vulvas a "vagina"...

I'd much rather a cute term be used than an incorrect one.

I cant find the head in a bag smilie...*insert that here*

So..I have known now for two months that what we have been calling the vagina, is actually the vulva - but honest to goodness...I didnt know..I didnt know before I read a thread here saying so. This coming from an educated university grad person...Im a little ashamed of myself..I always thought the outside was the vagina, and the vagina consisted of the labia etc etc etc....

So...my problem now is, my toddler who is really interested in body parts *knows* that area is her vagina, and her bum is her bum...how can I go about correcting it the term without confusing her - I know she will get it eventually, but I would like to use the right term....


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## library lady (Sep 3, 2007)

Butt may be slang too but at least people know what you are talking about when you talk about it. A lot of the cutesy words are asking for trouble because they are not universally known or recognized.

I was trying to think of what terms I was taught to use when I was a kid but I can't remember because discussing body parts was just not something that you did. You could cuss like a sailor but you could not discuss certain body parts or certain other things. If you had a rash or were sore, you said, "I hurt" and then proceeded to point because using any word to talk about it seemed horrific.









So, when I had kids, I was at a complete loss as to what terms to use because I knew that a lot of family members would freak out no matter what term was used because you just don't talk about it. As a result, we talk about private parts. All of my girls know the correct terms but we have always just referred to private parts as a catch all. It may not be exact but it is universally recognized and will not send anyone into a tizzy or cause anyone to faint. Down here in the south, I can see some of the more conservative old ladies fainting over a little kid using proper terms.


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## philomom (Sep 12, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AliveMama* 
I also find it funny that people teach their DDs to call their vulvas a "vagina"...

Actually, I find it annoying. The vagina is the inside part. The vulva is the part that you touch while pottying or bathing.


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## NaturalMindedMomma (Feb 5, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *clicksab* 
Has anyone else encountered parents who think that teaching the proper terms for body parts (penis and vagina especially) is "wrong"? This weekend I was at a party and a bunch of moms that I don't really know or hang out with started talking about their sons and the funny things they do and say. Of course, one of them started talking about how it scares her how her son yanks on his "goober". I was actually a little confused at first until I realized that "goober" is code for penis. They continued on that subject and one of the ladies told a story about how a boy in her daycare kept saying that his penis hurt (ended up having a UTI) and she was like "I kept having to tell him to shush! I can't believe his mom told him to say penis, it's so embarrassing that he says that in front of the other kids!"

Um, what? You can't handle a 3 year old using the proper terms for his parts? Then shame him like he's doing something wrong? I mean, if you want to use cutesy names for your kids bits, that's your business...but it never occurred to me that people would think it was wrong for me to teach my kids the real terms! Anyone else encounter this? It really threw me for a loop.

They sound really immature. I teach proper terms, although DD is 2, so I don't differentiate her vulva from her vagina, yet. She calls it her "gina"


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## SAHDS (Mar 28, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kriket* 
I've thought about this, and where I agree, I don't expect toddlers to express that their 3rd distal phalanges is inflamed. I'm OK with "my finger hurts" KWIM?

Saying vulva and vagina is more similar to simply saying hand and finger, though. Mentioning the "3rd distal phalanges' is comparable to saying the "left labia minora". I mean, come on.

Saying vagina irks me because 90% of the _adults_ I know call it a vagina because they simply don't know. If you're going to call it the proper name, then call it the proper name. Easy-peasy.

Back on topic, I had a friend who called her son's penis a "firehouse". Now that is more embarrassing than saying penis. I don't understand the need to make the words shameful.


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## AFWife (Aug 30, 2008)

DH and I have talked about it and we fully plan on proper terms (we haven't discussed vulva vs vagina yet...)

I agree that it's sad that society views anatomically correct terms as "dirty" and "wrong." I can remember being in high school biology and the teacher telling us that at any point in time he could make us stand up and say "penis" and "vagina" over again as punishment. (He was joking about ACTUALLY doing it) The looks of horror around the room were astonishing. I remember thinking "so??" But a lot of people were terrified they'd have to say penis...


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SAHDS* 
Saying vagina irks me because 90% of the _adults_ I know call it a vagina because they simply don't know. If you're going to call it the proper name, then call it the proper name. Easy-peasy.

I don't even get what you're saying here. If adults don't know the proper term, but think that they do, how on earth can it be "easy-peasy" to use the _actual_ term?

I'd heard the term 'vulva' many times, without actually knowing what it was, and I was taught that my genitals were my 'vagina'. I know that at some point, I realized that vagina only technically applied to the birth canal...but I still didn't know what the general term for a woman's genitalia was, and assumed that 'vagina' had been expanded, in the usage, beyond the birth canal. We didn't even learn that when we went through the whole "these are the changes your body will go through" spiel in 5th grade. I now know the terms is 'vulva'...but I still tend to _think_ 'vagina'.

I think it's good that parents try to teach their children the proper terms, even if they don't get them exactly right - and it beats the heck out of calling the vulva a 'purse'! (As kriket said, even 'vagina', instead of 'vulva' works, when it comes to a child reporting inappropriate touches...and most adults will know exactly what the child means.) I think I taught ds1 'vagina', and dd has had a mix of both (because I know the correct term, but am still in the habit of using the incorrect one). She's figuring it out.


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## poiyt (Jul 6, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
I don't even get what you're saying here. If adults don't know the proper term, but think that they do, how on earth can it be "easy-peasy" to use the _actual_ term?

I'd heard the term 'vulva' many times, without actually knowing what it was, and I was taught that my genitals were my 'vagina'. I know that at some point, I realized that vagina only technically applied to the birth canal...but I still didn't know what the general term for a woman's genitalia was, and assumed that 'vagina' had been expanded, in the usage, beyond the birth canal. We didn't even learn that when we went through the whole "these are the changes your body will go through" spiel in 5th grade. I now know the terms is 'vulva'...but I still tend to _think_ 'vagina'.

I think it's good that parents try to teach their children the proper terms, even if they don't get them exactly right - and it beats the heck out of calling the vulva a 'purse'! (As kriket said, even 'vagina', instead of 'vulva' works, when it comes to a child reporting inappropriate touches...and most adults will know exactly what the child means.) I think I taught ds1 'vagina', and dd has had a mix of both (because I know the correct term, but am still in the habit of using the incorrect one). She's figuring it out.

Thanks storm bride! Because this is me too (and I said so above). I didnt know my vulva was my vulva...I just thought it was all general vagina..and then broken down into smaller parts. Im certainly not trying to use the wrong word - because I honestly thought it was the right term.

I think its sad that so many adults dont know proper names for their body parts, and it says a lot about what we-they are being taught in either sex ed classes, or whatever subject it is where they learn the names of the genitalia...


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## SAHDS (Mar 28, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
I don't even get what you're saying here. If adults don't know the proper term, but think that they do, how on earth can it be "easy-peasy" to use the _actual_ term?

I'd heard the term 'vulva' many times, without actually knowing what it was, and I was taught that my genitals were my 'vagina'. I know that at some point, I realized that vagina only technically applied to the birth canal...but I still didn't know what the general term for a woman's genitalia was, and assumed that 'vagina' had been expanded, in the usage, beyond the birth canal. We didn't even learn that when we went through the whole "these are the changes your body will go through" spiel in 5th grade. I now know the terms is 'vulva'...but I still tend to _think_ 'vagina'.

I think it's good that parents try to teach their children the proper terms, even if they don't get them exactly right - and it beats the heck out of calling the vulva a 'purse'! (As kriket said, even 'vagina', instead of 'vulva' works, when it comes to a child reporting inappropriate touches...and most adults will know exactly what the child means.) I think I taught ds1 'vagina', and dd has had a mix of both (because I know the correct term, but am still in the habit of using the incorrect one). She's figuring it out.

I understand what you're saying, but that is exactly my point. If people would call them by their correct names, it would stop the problem. If people used the correct terms, we wouldn't have so many people that don't know the proper names for their own body parts.

And yes, I do prefer "vagina" over "purse" or "cookie", I sppose.

...

That's a weird sentence to end a post.


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## labdogs42 (Jan 21, 2009)

LOL. My DS knows and uses the word penis properly. Too bad daddy taught him that his testicles were called "balls". It ended up getting him in a little trouble at preschool -- they had cheese balls for snack and my (then 3.5 year old) DS started giggling, "Cheese balls! My daddy has balls. and a penis" Oh boy. The teacher wasn't too thrilled about this. I think she just should have ignored it, but I guess she had a little talk with him about those topics being inappropriate for the snack table. I kind of thought the whole thing was hysterical and I did explain to him that we don't talk about our private parts when people are eating!









Oh yeah, I did try to teach him the right word after this incident, but he declared that he preferred to call them balls. Oh well, balls it is!


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *poiyt* 
Thanks storm bride! Because this is me too (and I said so above). I didnt know my vulva was my vulva...I just thought it was all general vagina..and then broken down into smaller parts. Im certainly not trying to use the wrong word - because I honestly thought it was the right term.

I think its sad that so many adults dont know proper names for their body parts, and it says a lot about what we-they are being taught in either sex ed classes, or whatever subject it is where they learn the names of the genitalia...

Yup. I learned most of it from my mom, but she, of course, only knew 'vagina'. (She was born in '43, and her mom was a _total_ prude - sometimes, I'm surprised mom even knew 'vagina'...no idea where she learned it!) Then, I learned a few more terms in our 'puberty education' class, but it was all the specifics, not the general term. Oh...and that information somehow completely excluded the clitoris. I guess we weren't supposed to know we had those!


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## because why not? (Feb 20, 2009)

As with E-VER-Y parenting choice, people on all sides will be sanctimonious. I use 'cute' terms, but only because I tend to adopt my childrens' words for things, rather than coax them to 'get it right.' Thus, my girls have some really weird names for everything from their genitalia to their grandparents.

I've taken some attitude from parents who seem to think it's horrible to use cute names, and I just snicker behind my hand when their daughters talk about their 'Chinas.'

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AliveMama* 
I also find it funny that people teach their DDs to call their vulvas a "vagina"...

I'd much rather a cute term be used than an incorrect one.


Yeah, I think it's kind of funny that people can be uptight about using the correct term when they _aren't_.


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## SAHDS (Mar 28, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *poiyt* 
I think its sad that so many adults dont know proper names for their body parts, and it says a lot about what we-they are being taught in either sex ed classes, or whatever subject it is where they learn the names of the genitalia...

Not to be nit-picky, but I never took sex ed so I don't think it's fair to use that as a scapegoat.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SAHDS* 
I understand what you're saying, but that is exactly my point. If people would call them by their correct names, it would stop the problem. If people used the correct terms, we wouldn't have so many people that don't know the proper names for their own body parts.

That's true. I think this problem will slowly disappear over the next few years, though.

Quote:

And yes, I do prefer "vagina" over "purse" or "cookie", I sppose.

...

That's a weird sentence to end a post.









...only on MDC...

(or maybe not - I can see that coming up on the Iron Maiden bb I used to post on, as well...not sure what that says about the crowd there)


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## serenekitten (Nov 20, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SAHDS* 
Not to be nit-picky, but I never took sex ed so I don't think it's fair to use that as a scapegoat.

Ditto.

And my prudish parents certainly never taught me the different names and features of my genitals (genitalia? girly-bits? cookies?!).


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## Twinklefae (Dec 13, 2006)

I use cute names for lots of things (anybody ever talked about a belly?) and I also use proper names where appropriate.

When I worked in daycare I used either proper names (Only one penis per toilet!) and all encompassing general terms (Please put your bits back in your pants during circle time Johnny!)

I don't really care what you use at home as a rule, but your child should know the proper names, even if that's not what you call their parts most of the time. (Ie. a silly name shouldn't be used to the exclusion of all else. Most kids call their stomach/abdomen a belly, but know where their stomach is if you ask.)


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *because why not?* 
As with E-VER-Y parenting choice, people on all sides will be sanctimonious. I use 'cute' terms, but only because I tend to adopt my childrens' words for things, rather than coax them to 'get it right.' Thus, my girls have some really weird names for everything from their genitalia to their grandparents.

I really don't care for cutesy names, but I don't really care that much if other parents use them. I just don't want to catch flak for teaching my son that his penis is...a penis. I do also want my children to have the vocabulary to tell me - and others, if necessary - if someone is doing something sexual to them. (That said, I can live with the better known terms...ds2 knows the word scrotum, but he's more likely to hear 'balls' around here, especially with a teenage older brother and his friends around. If he told someone that somebody was touching his balls, I'm pretty sure the meaning would get across.)


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## SAHDS (Mar 28, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *serenekitten* 
And my prudish parents certainly never taught me the different names and features of my genitals (genitalia? girly-bits? cookies?!).

I don't think my mother and I ever talked about specifics on anything at all. I'm sure I learned it when I was 19 and pregnant with DD.


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## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *poiyt* 
I cant find the head in a bag smilie...*insert that here*

So..I have known now for two months that what we have been calling the vagina, is actually the vulva - but honest to goodness...I didnt know..I didnt know before I read a thread here saying so. This coming from an educated university grad person...Im a little ashamed of myself..I always thought the outside was the vagina, and the vagina consisted of the labia etc etc etc....

So...my problem now is, my toddler who is really interested in body parts *knows* that area is her vagina, and her bum is her bum...how can I go about correcting it the term without confusing her - I know she will get it eventually, but I would like to use the right term....

I don't think she will be confused. She's still young. You can get a book or online illustration or give her a mirror and name all the individual parts.


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## Lisa1970 (Jan 18, 2009)

I find the word for penis being goober is disgusting. Isn't a goober...a nose mucous grossy thingy? uuggghhh...I would way rather hear penis.


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## blizzard_babe (Feb 14, 2007)

So... growing up, my sister and I called our genitalia... "front butt." I'm not sure whether to be amused or horrified. According to my mother, we came up with the term on our own, and she didn't correct us.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jessy1019* 
And a funny story . . . we realized we'd slipped into a bad habit of using slang for our son's testicles and so I had a talk with him about the "real" name for his balls . . . when I confirmed with him a couple days later, to see if he remember, he said, "Umm, umm, ummm . . . ICICLES!!" He gets it now, but that cracked me up.









Reminds me of my friend's daughter. She was watching me change DS's diaper, and was kind of in a genitalia-centric phase. She pointed and asked, "What's that?" I said, "That's his penis." She looked at me like I was just about the stupidest thing ever to hit planet Earth and replied, "Duh, no. BEHIND his penis" and poked his testicles. She was apparently ready for the advanced course, so we got into both vocabulary and not touching other people's genitalia without permission.









Same girl walked around for a few weeks talking about Venuses and Paginas.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Twinklefae* 
I use cute names for lots of things (anybody ever talked about a belly?) and I also use proper names where appropriate.

When I worked in daycare I used either proper names (Only one penis per toilet!) and all encompassing general terms (Please put your bits back in your pants during circle time Johnny!)

I don't really care what you use at home as a rule, but your child should know the proper names, even if that's not what you call their parts most of the time. (Ie. a silly name shouldn't be used to the exclusion of all else. Most kids call their stomach/abdomen a belly, but know where their stomach is if you ask.)

I struggle with this as a teacher. On the one hand, I want my students to feel comfortable with the terminology... and on the other hand, you just never know what a parent is going to get up in arms about. This stuff REALLY wigs some people out, and while I know I'd be in the right saying, "one penis to a toilet" if some charming young gentlemen felt fit to share, I don't really want to have to prove my non-shadiness in a court of law.


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## bramblevine (Mar 10, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AliveMama* 
I also find it funny that people teach their DDs to call their vulvas a "vagina"...









I wish. Every time I try to teach my toddler that it is her vulva, she says "No mommy, it's my pee-er. See? It's my pee-er."









In our house it's all proper terms, with the exception of "girlybits". Don't ask me why, but I'm more likely to say "Fingers out of your girlybits please." than I am to say "Fingers off of your vulva, please."


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## poiyt (Jul 6, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SAHDS* 
Not to be nit-picky, but I never took sex ed so I don't think it's fair to use that as a scapegoat.

Not using it as a scapegoat - but a possible reason. We also had a class, I know it was biology in high school, but there was also sections on it in elementary school (social studies..?) where we went over and labelled the body parts - completely separate from sex-ed - it was just something that was learned. That was another class I was talking about.


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## accountclosed2 (May 28, 2007)

Schools here must teach the children the proper words (penis and vagina), so they'll learn soon enough anyway (whatever you choose to say at home, I mean). I was ore annoyed when I trained as a teacher that vagina was the only word they offered for a girl's parts - very suitable for sex education later on, but not equivalent to a boy's penis when learning visual body parts in year 1! I argued for using another word, any other word, that could actually refer to the outside of a girl's body, but was met with blank stares. English is my second language, and I did not know that that was the meaning of vulva.


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## because why not? (Feb 20, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
I really don't care for cutesy names, but I don't really care that much if other parents use them. I just don't want to catch flak for teaching my son that his penis is...a penis. I do also want my children to have the vocabulary to tell me - and others, if necessary - if someone is doing something sexual to them.


There are probably lots of things I do that you wouldn't care for, and vice versa, y'know? It's just one more area where we parents tend to care waaaaay too much what the next mom is doing. My children's euphemisms would NOT interfere with their ability to communicate abuse. Everyone in their lives knows their words: teachers, extended family, my friends. You can't spend time with a pre-schooler and NOT know what their word is.

I think we parents are awfully quick to 'go there' with abuse scenarios to defend our parenting choices and crucify others'. That isn't directed at you, SB, or anyone else in particular. It goes around and it comes around, and it gets ridiculous after a while.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lisa1970* 
I find the word for penis being goober is disgusting. Isn't a goober...a nose mucous grossy thingy? uuggghhh...I would way rather hear penis.

That's a booger.

I'm not sure what a goober actually is...I think it might be a slang term for a peanut? Goofy (from Disney) talked about goobers in his comics.

One of ds2's many nicknames is 'Goober', so that could cause some confusion if he were in preschool with a little boy who thought that was the name for a penis...


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *because why not?* 
There are probably lots of things I do that you wouldn't care for, and vice versa, y'know? It's just one more area where we parents tend to care waaaaay too much what the next mom is doing. My children's euphemisms would NOT interfere with their ability to communicate abuse. Everyone in their lives knows their words: teachers, extended family, my friends. You can't spend time with a pre-schooler and NOT know what their word is.

I think we parents are awfully quick to 'go there' with abuse scenarios to defend our parenting choices and crucify others'. That isn't directed at you, SB, or anyone else in particular. It goes around and it comes around, and it gets ridiculous after a while.

I actually very rarely "go there" with abuse scenarios. This is just one of those areas where the experts strongly recommend that children know the right words, which is part of why I mentioned it. It's also very possible to spend time with a preschooler and not know their words...as in the story kriket told earlier.

In any case, I already said I don't care what words other families use, as long as they don't get up in arms about my children calling a penis a penis. That makes about as much sense to me as getting upset that dd says, "look how strong my abdominal muscles are, mama" right before she does an upside-down situp.


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## Contrariety (Jul 16, 2007)

This thread is cracking me up. I can't handle some of the ridiculous names people come up with.

DS knows what his "pee-miss" (penis) is, though we have yet to teach him scrotum and testicles. It seems to me that the latter two have yet to be really discovered, as the pee-miss gets all the attention, both as play thing and the actionable potty part.

I am 100% for teaching the proper names of genitals to kids. I refuse to have my children to grow up feeling weird at all about their anatomy.


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## because why not? (Feb 20, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *poiyt* 

So...my problem now is, my toddler who is really interested in body parts *knows* that area is her vagina, and her bum is her bum...how can I go about correcting it the term without confusing her - I know she will get it eventually, but I would like to use the right term....


Work it into conversation on the potty (I mean- "toilet") or in the tub. If your kid can understand that a kitty is the same as a cat, and eventually learn that they're also felines, I'm sure she can understand for many things have multiple names.


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## mouthcave (Oct 9, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *library lady* 
My MIL does not like the kids to say butt. She calls it a po-po. SIL freaks if somebody says butt in her presence. It is bum-bum. So, I can only imagine what those two would have to say if they heard penis or vagina come out of a kid's mouth.







:

So similar! My in-laws think butt is the most heinous word ever or something. They also taught my husband that his penis was a "po-po" when he was younger. He swears he didn't know it was his penis until he was, like, seven or eight, but I don't know, haha.
I find most cutesy nicknames for body parts more unsettling than the actual terms, though that's just personal preference.


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## because why not? (Feb 20, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
I actually very rarely "go there" with abuse scenarios. This is just one of those areas where the experts strongly recommend that children know the right words, which is part of why I mentioned it. It's also very possible to spend time with a preschooler and not know their words...as in the story kriket told earlier.



Barring instances where the kid calls it her purse, keyboard, or lanyard, I think it's pretty clear.

Abused children fail to express what's going on for all sorts of reasons, mostly confusion and fear. I really find the idea that non-technical terminology is contributing to un-reported abuse just... silly.


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## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)

I don't think every study that has come to that conclusion can possibly be wrong.

I've also read that cutesy names help an offender go free because a judge will dismiss the statements because they aren't specific enough even f it is common sense what the victim means.


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## Snuzzmom (Feb 6, 2008)

We've always used "penis" and "vagina" with our DS because I thought it'd be less confusing to call things the proper names from the start. I'm fine with using "vagina" as a catch-all term when explaining what Mommy has instead of a penis... it doesn't come up that often and he doesn't really care that much, anyway. He's more interested in talking about his penis.









The backside is "bootie" or "bottom." I don't mind "butt" but I like the other two better.

I don't really care what words the other parents use, but I think it's crazy to shame kids for using the proper terms. That makes no sense at all.


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## puddleduck (Jan 3, 2005)

the norm with my friends and family is to use slang - willy for penis and fanny for vulva (of fu fu, nunu, strawberry, penny etc)

I'm working really hard to change this, the first time i said vagina out loud i thought i might combust.

other people get very embarressed when children use the correct terms becuase they can't say those words themselves.


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

I'm used to it.

I have a daycare in my home. One year I had a girl tell me "My chacharooni makes me sad". I was all "uhhh.. O.K... well, that's too bad". Then the mom called me to tell me that "punkin's private parts have a little rash, and she said she told you". I informed her that she in no way ever told me that.. Then mom explained that "we use the term chacharooni" Apparently, I was supposed to immediately assume that "Chacharooni" mean vagina.

Then another girl told me "My foofie hurts". I figured that one out on my own.. but, serioulsy.. How would someone else understand thost terms without a secret decoder ring?

I have had kids who had an "Enar" (penis)

A "Fuffer" (Penis) <--little brother of "foofie" girl. (foofie and fuffer







)

And, my all time current favorite.. "The tool!" <--said with enthusiasm


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## Ceinwen (Jul 1, 2004)

My dd (now age six) was kicked out of a private home daycare when she was two and a half for saying penis. She initially said it once while the DCP was changing one of the infant boys, and when she got such a huge reaction out of the DCP she began saying it over and over...

The DCP had two little boys of her own and informed me that they were only ever told to call it a 'willie' and that she wouldn't tolerate such language in her house. It was a real eye opener to me, because prior to this I'd never encounted such ignorance. None the less, we were let go and I was without a DCP for weeks...


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## Softmama (Jun 10, 2003)

I have a kind of funny story about this that strays from the OPs orignial question (sorry OP!)

My dh was driving my boys to preschool for me after I had major surgery. It involved a car line and since ds (who was 3) was in a carseat the principal of the school always leaned into our van to unbuckle him and get him out (parents were to stay in the car at all times, a very very strict car line!). well ds is a MAJOR talker and was always telling the principal some story or other. This day he was strangely silent.
principal: nothing to say today?
dh: yeah, that's odd isn't it?
principal: yeah, he usually has SOMETHING to say.
ds remains totally silent.
she unbuckles him and gets him to the edge of the van. just as she is about to lift him down:
ds: I have a red thing on my penis.
principal (in total deadpan): well......that's something.
dh: yeah, might have been better if he's just kept his mouth shut.

the story cracked me up!!
(ds had a little rash that we were using cream on. nothing major. but I guess enough for him to want to share!)


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ceinwen* 
My dd (now age six) was kicked out of a private home daycare when she was two and a half for saying penis. She initially said it once while the DCP was changing one of the infant boys, and when she got such a huge reaction out of the DCP she began saying it over and over...

The DCP had two little boys of her own and informed me that they were only ever told to call it a 'willie' and that she wouldn't tolerate such language in her house.

Such language? The word "penis" is "such language" now? Wow - I must liv in an alternate universe.


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## Jennifer3141 (Mar 7, 2004)

We're a medical family so DH wouldn't tolerate calling them anything other than penis and vulva. Although DD did briefly call it her "privacy" after our discussion about her vulva being her private thing for no one to touch but her, preferably in private.









That mortified my parents a bit but what really gets them is when they pass gas and DS yells, "Granddad, your digestive system is working away in there!"

And last week, my laugh for the day came from DD saying to her brother, "Look! All the testicles have melted from the roof!"


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

Goober is a peanut.

Anyway, my mom gets a little flustered when proper terms are used but she's been a sport about it in the past and hopefully will be when DS is starting to learn as well.

I do think education does play a role because we have to learn from somewhere what proper terms are and for many people that somewhere is school. My sex ed classes included all the names for every thing inlcuding vulva. That being said, so many fellow students that it was embarrasing, and giggle worthing that we were discussing penises and vulvas in class and that we actually got to see labled pictures and everything. I was probably the only one there that didn't see anything 'taboo' about it.

I don't mind cute names, though Dh and I don't use them most of the time. DD does just because her friends do, we don't correct her, but we don't respond with the same word just because.

I don't like the "penis/vagina/vulva" is a naughty word deal that some people have going on. Names for body parts are not naughty, they are correct. And I don't like uncommon cute names. If the average person doesn't know what a "froo-froo" is or the girl means when she says Jonny is touching her rose, then there are problems that can arise. Including the mention above of the girl getting dismissed by the teacher because the teacher didn't understand what was ment by purse.

Generally, I feel each to their own, but if your going to use a cute name please, please, please use a well known cute name.


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jennifer3141* 

And last week, my laugh for the day came from DD saying to her brother, "Look! All the testicles have melted from the roof!"

LMBO!!

I went to a church dinner/potluck. One of the dishes was squid.. one of the REALLLLLY sweet innocent young ladies announced a little too loudly that "EWWWW! The squids have all those testicles!" (she meant tenticals)

I laughed for two weeks about that.


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## Dahlea (May 15, 2008)

i think it's silly! why not call them by their proper names? people can be ridiculous about the silliest things
*nak*


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## ~PurityLake~ (Jul 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jennifer3141* 
That mortified my parents a bit but what really gets them is when they pass gas and DS yells, "Granddad, your digestive system is working away in there!"

That reminds me, when my daughters burp, they say, 'my tummy's talking'. They made this up completely on their own.


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## number572 (Aug 25, 2004)

Just as a "ime" post - I completed a yoga teacher training a while back and thought of this when I read this thread. We were all sitting around discussing the class we'd just taken and a classmate of ours (a female) commented on a certain asana, she said "I feel intimidated when I do this (certain) asana in a public class b'c I take air into my vagina when entering the pose, and then upon releasing the asana (yoga pose), I have a sort of vaginal "fart" how can I avoid that?".

OMG, you would have thought we were a room of ten yr old boys. I was thrown by the students laughing & mocking...

It was weird... many people are sort of closed when correct terminology is used. Embarrassed even. I hope that changes, it gets in the way of very real factors. And real solutions.

Best luck on trying to enlighten OR ignore them!


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## St. Margaret (May 19, 2006)

at some of those mistakes people have blurted out. I think I said orgasm once instead of organism when I was learning the terms. SO glad it was only with one other person who corrected me!

Anyway, we teach DD vulva and vagina, and she knows girls have them. She's only talked about it around us so far. She also knows boob is only a word for around mommy and daddy at home (I really tried to get her to stick to nursies but she knows the body part as boob, too). I want her to love her body, all of it. Like this morning when she was naked (she hardly ever is-- carpets, and her prediliction for scratching the heck out of her butt and thighs if she's pantless) and singing "My body! I'm not dressed!"


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## ~PurityLake~ (Jul 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *St. Margaret* 
....this morning when she was naked and singing "My body! I'm not dressed!"









Haha, well, my daughters are frequently naked. Sophia used to sing 'my body, my body, my body' after stripping off her diaper while running up and down the house.


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## kcstar (Mar 20, 2009)

When I was in 7th grade, Spanish was an elective. We very quickly learned that to pluralize a noun ending in a consonant, Spanish adds the "es". I had several months of private amusement before the other students got to the part of health class where they learned that "testes" meant something quite different from a Spanish quiz.


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## funkymamajoy (May 25, 2008)

We use the proper terms, even though DS insists on saying "pee-pee" and he confuses "penis" and "peanuts" (I think intentionally because its funny).


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## SAHDS (Mar 28, 2008)

Another "Oh LORD" moment to add for laughs. When I was 17, I started my first job. My boss's name was Jaime (pronounced Hi-may) and I called him Hymen in our first conversation. Nothing like starting off on the right foot.









OH! I remembered another - 9th grade French. "Douche" means "shower" and when the teacher said it... Well, it WAS in a class of 9th graders so I guess the response was to be expected.


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## hibana (Jun 9, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blizzard_babe* 
Reminds me of my friend's daughter. She was watching me change DS's diaper, and was kind of in a genitalia-centric phase. She pointed and asked, "What's that?" I said, "That's his penis." She looked at me like I was just about the stupidest thing ever to hit planet Earth and replied, "Duh, no. BEHIND his penis" and poked his testicles. She was apparently ready for the advanced course, so we got into both vocabulary and not touching other people's genitalia without permission.









Same girl walked around for a few weeks talking about Venuses and Paginas.

I snarfed my drink!

People are so weird about bodies, it doesn't surprise me that they're weird about the terms used for various parts.


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## clicksab (Oct 15, 2006)

Wow, I don't think I've ever started a thread that generated close to this much discussion!

I'm loving all the crazy stories about what kids say. I didn't really start this to bash moms that use different names, though I don't completely understand why they do. My issue is definitely more about the fact that the ladies were complaining about another mom teaching her child the correct terms for his body parts. I'd honestly just never thought it would be an issue. Also made me realize I should start teaching my DD what is what down there!

Okay....I admit it....I didn't know the difference between a vulva and a vagina until after I had a kid. Pretty sure to begin with I'm just going to teach her vagina, and get more specific as she gets older. Plus, I should probably teach my DH the technical terms first!


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## Softmama (Jun 10, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *clicksab* 
Plus, I should probably teach my DH the technical terms first!


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## onlyzombiecat (Aug 15, 2004)

Reading this I wonder why people are talking casually to other people about their child's genitals if they are so embarrassed about the proper word? Why discuss it at all if it embarrasses you?









My mom uses the word "thing" for penis. Do you know how long it takes to puzzle out what "his thing" means?

I've never had anyone get upset with us using proper terms for body parts but I don't think dd has blurted out penis, vula, vagina, etc in front of a lot of people.


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## jrabbit (May 10, 2008)

phew! i finally finished reading this! i'm glad i did because it was enlightening *and* amusing at the same time!







i thought of many things to say as i read it, but i'm sure the thread will die after my post (seems to happen most of the time i chime in on a topic







...)

dd2 calls it 'front bottom' and 'back bottom' and thinks girls have 'back bottoms'!!! they know what a penis is, but we don't make up words for genitalia - other than just calling the whole shebang a 'bottom'. dd2 also calls my breasts 'bras'







- we're working on it!

my mom taught me about sex when i was about 9-10. i remember a big biology book and a discussion pertaining to positions and pleasure







and love but not necessarily marriage ... those people who are freaking out about the word penis would have died.

the interesting thing about 'knowing' the right words and how things work is that there is no mystery or shame. i wasn't a prude, but i was a virgin til 17 ... plenty of hanky panky, but no hangups.

my dd is now 9, and she asked grandma how babies are made (in december, when i was 42 weeks pregnant). my mom didn't evade the question, but she did change the subject slyly - but only because she wanted me to decide to have the conversation. they were with 5 yo sister, studying the book from the Bodyworld exhibit. no hiding anything in that book! it hasn't come up since then, but i know we'll be talking about it soon.

--janis


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## Miasmamma (Sep 20, 2006)

My DD made up a song about her vulva and her butt that she likes to sing around my dad b/c it embarrasses him. I do know that the other moms at church use cutesy words. We don't... so I'm waiting for DD to say something on day.


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## ellesmama (Aug 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JennaW* 
I also wanted to say, growing up I was MUCH more embarrassed by the cutsey terms "nunu" and "bum-bum" then the proper term "vagina" (which I now know is not the proper term but I didn't know any better growing up).

ME TOO.

The cutesy name from childhood still embarasses me and my sisters too. I don't even want to type it out now. It definitely puts a shame around it, at least in my experience.

And the proper term vagina or vulva was neutral.

The cutesy name had a connotation kinda like, you-know-that-thing-that-want-to-hide-and-not-about-because-there-is-something-wrong-with-it.


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## Lunaria (May 30, 2007)

This leaves me wondering about using yoni. I didn't feel like the word vagina was accurate(plus it means sheath for a sword). I never thought to call my dd's vulva a vulva! I call mine my yoni so it seemed sensible to call hers that too. What do y'all think? With my ds we freely say penis, but so far I haven't had to decide wether to call his testicles balls or testicles. My dh calls them balls and I usually do too...

Jenny


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## ~PurityLake~ (Jul 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lunaria* 
This leaves me wondering about using yoni. I didn't feel like the word vagina was accurate(plus it means sheath for a sword). I never thought to call my dd's vulva a vulva! I call mine my yoni so it seemed sensible to call hers that too. What do y'all think?y

Until I read a thread on MDC, I never heard of the term Yoni, and still don't really know what it means or where the word came from. Regarding the term vagina's real definition, it's terrible, huh? and most medical terms created by men are just as terrible. I prefer vulva since that is the are they can see at toddler/child age. It is more accurate and all encompassing.


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## poiyt (Jul 6, 2008)

I totally thought yoni was a cutesy word...is it an actual word? Like a clinical one..off to look up its origins...


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## AFWife (Aug 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lunaria* 
With my ds we freely say penis, but so far I haven't had to decide wether to call his testicles balls or testicles. My dh calls them balls and I usually do too...

My gut reaction is to suggest that you use whatever terms you and your DH are most comfortable using...at least at first. I think kids pick up on "that word makes mommy/daddy feel awkward" and it may make him think it's not a good word...

I dunno, though. We aren't there yet.


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## Softmama (Jun 10, 2003)

I *think* yoni is from the shakra centers (did I spell that right?) it is one of the 7 shakras in the body....I vaguely recall this from long ago...I thought it actually referred to both male and female genitalia.

I had NO IDEA that vagina meant sheath for a sword








it reminds me of when my OB explained why the previous OB had put in a "crown stitch" when sewing me up from a childbirth tear (referring to the extra stitch to tighten the vagina so when the "king" was in his thrown, crown, whatever....yikes)


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## Lunaria (May 30, 2007)

I looked up yoni on wikipedia:

Yoni (Sanskrit: योनि yoni) is a Sanskrit word that means "womb, vulva, vagina, place of birth, source, origin."[1] The word also has a wider meaning in both profane and spiritual contexts, including "spring, fountain, place of rest, repository, receptacle, seat, abode, home, lair, nest, stable" (Monier-Williams).It is also etymologically derived from the root yuj-like yoga and yogini-meaning, "to join, unite, fasten, or harness." [1]

The sanskrit term for penis is ligam I think.

Anyway, yoni seemed like a more respectful word than vagina. But vulva would be fine too. Now my dd is 4 and says yoni. Changing it could be confusing for her?

Jenny

PS. That is horrible about the 'crown stitch.'


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## TortelliniMama (Mar 11, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
Oh...and that information somehow completely excluded the clitoris. I guess we weren't supposed to know we had those!

We use "vulva" with dd. (And it is one of her favorite words. Imagine "Bob the Vulva," sung to the Bob the Builder theme song.







) Either she hasn't noticed that she has a vagina yet, or I just haven't been there when she found it, so I haven't introduced that term yet.

But the other day, she was 'exploring' and suddenly announced to me, "I have a penis!" She pulled her diaper down in the front and pointed at her clitoris.

"Actually, that's your clitoris," I told her.

"No!" she insisted. "It's my penis." I decided to choose my battles and dropped it. (Besides, dd's personality is that she would argue it to the death at that moment, but since I dropped it, next week she's likely to point it out and tell me it's her clitoris.














)


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## ~PurityLake~ (Jul 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TortelliniMama* 

But the other day, she was 'exploring' and suddenly announced to me,
"I have a penis!"
She pulled her diaper down in the front and pointed at her clitoris.

"Actually, that's your clitoris," I told her.

"No!" she insisted. "It's my penis."


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## guest9921 (Nov 3, 2005)

Its relieving to see my DS so comfortable using anatomically correct words. He's always used 'penis' & 'testicles.' Though he does call his bum his 'ass'.









I use slang at times when I don't want him to know I'm referring to his penis. "DH, could you throw a pair of pants on him, I'm sick of his JohnDangler on the couch."


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## Lysa (Jan 17, 2007)

MY DH is embarrassed when our dc use the proper terms for body parts - but I figure they will help to improve his viewpoint on the issue!









My MIL definately won't use proper terms for body parts - she prefers to call the toilet the TOY-TOY.







But she doesn't squirm TOOO much when my kids use the proper words I taught them.

I am LOVING the replies in this thread!!!







:


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## because why not? (Feb 20, 2009)

Yoni is Sanskrit, but vagina does NOT mean "sheath for a sword." That one's been going around for years- I don't know who came up with it.

As far as using the technical terms: I can't imagine using 'vagina' any more than 'mandible.' It has nothing to do with shame (my kids don't wear pants if they can help it)- it's just too formal and serious for me.


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

The Romans would be my guess. Vagina is Latin for "sheath" or "Scabbard".


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## tex.mom (Jun 30, 2006)

It doesn't surprise me either as lots of others have said. People are weird.

We kinda do both here though. I make sure my kids know the proper names, b/c you're supposed to in the horrifying case that they ever have to report something to police (it doesn't fly if they use some cutsie name, and adults can't ask them for clarification, i.e. "do you mean penis?"). But on a daily basis my kids mostly refer to their "private parts." I don't think that's bad though b/c it puts the emphasis on private.


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## AliveMama (Mar 20, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *because why not?* 
Yoni is Sanskrit, but vagina does NOT mean "sheath for a sword." That one's been going around for years- I don't know who came up with it.

Vagina DOES mean sheath... It comes from Latin. It's in any dictionary that has etymologies.


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

i particularly revel in peoples uncomfortableness. i have been known to tell my dd when she is playing rough with any adults 'be careful around the penis/vagina area. it really hurts there.' my dd agrees but everyone else is silent and shocked. i love that.







:


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## AliveMama (Mar 20, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *meemee* 
i particularly revel in peoples uncomfortableness. i have been known to tell my dd when she is playing rough with any adults 'be careful around the penis/vagina area. it really hurts there.' my dd agrees but everyone else is silent and shocked. i love that.







:


Why do something to make other people uncomfortable on purpose? That seems really anti-social...


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## lotusdebi (Aug 29, 2002)

My two-year-old knows penis, scrotum, butt, breast, nipple, and vulva.
My six-year-old knows all those, plus testicle, vagina, foreskin, and glans - and probably a little bit more. They also use their own words, such as "milkies" and "nummies" used for breasts and breastmilk, and "weiner" became a favorite when my eldest turned five. We use the term "private parts" when having the "bad touches" discussions, because that term encompasses a number of locations, though we also specify which parts during the conversations.

I had major issues using any kind of terminology for private areas when I was a kid, and still blush at times. I don't want my kids to have those issues.


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## *Erin* (Mar 18, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tbone_kneegrabber* 







:

It irks me that people call it "vagina" Um the part you see is the vulva, the "inside" part is the vagina. Don't get all bent out of shape about folks using cutesy words if you aren't using the "correct" word anyway!

yea, no kidding.

i was surprised to find out a very good friend calls her dd's vulvas "chi-chi"s-she said her dh is grossed out by "vagina". and i totally saw her eyebrows go up at me when i said the word "vulva"!







:
this is such a smart, enlightened lady, too.


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## Breeder (May 28, 2006)

I'm kind of glad I don't have a girl.







Because vulva sounds so ... clinical. And I can't say yoni without thinking of this guy

I know his name is not Yoni, but that's just where my mind goes. I'm warped like that I guess.

I consider myself to be a pretty free minded, loosey goosey type of lady, educated and all that. But none of the "correct" terms feel natural to me. They feel forced when I say them. I don't feel embarrassed. I do feel kind of stupid.

Oh and growing up my mother referred to our lady parts as a "frog".

You read that right.

I still shudder at that one.

I call it my vag, when I call it. My son knows I have a vulva and that the vagina is where babies exit the womb (normally). But he is far too interested in his own junk to care much about the female biology at this point, so thankfully I don't have to struggle too much.


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## AliveMama (Mar 20, 2009)

I'm confused...

You shudder at your vulva being called a "frog", but you call it by a cutsie name just the same "vag". And then you refer to your son's genitalia as his "junk".


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## TortelliniMama (Mar 11, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Breeder* 
I'm kind of glad I don't have a girl.







Because vulva sounds so ... clinical.

You know, I kind of felt the same way when I first used the word (this was talking to ds before dd was born, actually, so not having a girl wouldn't have saved me from it). And, in fact, if dd hadn't come along, it might have continued to feel kind of weird to say it, because it doesn't come up that often when talking to ds.

But, having a girl, and one who is very, very fond both of her vulva and talking about it, I've gotten over it. Yes, in a way it still doesn't feel like a "native" word to me, if you know what I mean (although I say it without pausing, finally







). I don't think we even used a word for it when I was growing up. You were just kind of vague and awkward and maybe gestured slightly by pointing down if you really needed to mention it. Even when talking to a doctor pre-motherhood, I wouldn't have felt comfortable saying it (and that's assuming the doctor visit happened after I learned the word and what it meant).

But for dd, "vulva" is a warm, comfortable word. It's part of her, and she doesn't hesitate at all to say it.

My point is, I think it feels clinical to a lot of us because the only time we use it or hear it used is in clinical surroundings (books, doctor's office, etc.). But for girls (and boys, for that matter) who grow up with it being used as an everyday word, that's how they'll see it.


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## Breeder (May 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AliveMama* 
I'm confused...

You shudder at your vulva being called a "frog", but you call it by a cutsie name just the same "vag". And then you refer to your son's genitalia as his "junk".

I refer to my son's genitals as his "penis, testicles and scrotum" when I am talking to _HIM_. I referred to his genitals as his "junk" to the _readers of an internet forum_.

Vag is short for vagina. That's like say Bob is a "cutsie name" for Robert. (which I realize is debatable). I have a vagina.... I do not have a frog. Frog is a "code word". Vag is an abbreviation.

I suppose I'm just a dumb unenlightened woman for not talking about my body in terms I do not feel enclined to use. You can sing to your vulva if you'd like. I'm not offended by the term, or others using it.

I just wish people didn't get so high horse about using the correct term. I equally wish people didn't get offended when people use the correct term.


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## Breeder (May 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TortelliniMama* 
You know, I kind of felt the same way when I first used the word (this was talking to ds before dd was born, actually, so not having a girl wouldn't have saved me from it). And, in fact, if dd hadn't come along, it might have continued to feel kind of weird to say it, because it doesn't come up that often when talking to ds.

But, having a girl, and one who is very, very fond both of her vulva and talking about it, I've gotten over it. Yes, in a way it still doesn't feel like a "native" word to me, if you know what I mean (although I say it without pausing, finally







). I don't think we even used a word for it when I was growing up. You were just kind of vague and awkward and maybe gestured slightly by pointing down if you really needed to mention it. Even when talking to a doctor pre-motherhood, I wouldn't have felt comfortable saying it (and that's assuming the doctor visit happened after I learned the word and what it meant).

But for dd, "vulva" is a warm, comfortable word. It's part of her, and she doesn't hesitate at all to say it.

My point is, I think it feels clinical to a lot of us because the only time we use it or hear it used is in clinical surroundings (books, doctor's office, etc.). But for girls (and boys, for that matter) who grow up with it being used as an everyday word, that's how they'll see it.










This is a great post. As I said, my son knows it is called a vulva. So I have used the term to him (hopefully it sounded natural to his ears). But having two small boys, the oppertunity to chat about vulvas does not come up terribly often.


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## *Erin* (Mar 18, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Breeder* 
I suppose I'm just a dumb unenlightened woman for not talking about my body in terms I do not feel enclined to use. You can sing to your vulva if you'd like. I'm not offended by the term, or others using it.

lmaooooo
this made me snarf my water just now...
*making up song-"ode to my vulva".....*

fwiw, i think "vulva" sounds nice, like, a cross between "velvet" and "Volvo", both of which i really like...


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## flowers (Apr 8, 2004)

My kids know the technical terms but we also use fun terms just cuz life is fun. Dh's grandmother used to refer to his penis as a "pickle" and we thought it was so funny that it gets thrown around once in awhile.

You know I like vulva WAY better than saying vagina. I did adopt Yoni during my pregnancies. I got between breasts and chi-chis b/c when I was first nursing ds1 I lived in an area which did not support extended bfing and I didn't like the idea of him screaming out breasts. I could care less now.

We are also in the ball predicament. Again, he knows they are called the scrotum and testicles, but dh (and I) fondly refer to them as balls. I admitted this to a friend recently and I felt like she thought we were being totally irresponsible. I asked dh to try and say testicles but it sounded very formal. "Watch where you swing that bat, you almost hit me in the testicles!"


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## Breeder (May 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **Erin** 
lmaooooo
this made me snarf my water just now...
*making up song-"ode to my vulva".....*

fwiw, i think "vulva" sounds nice, like, a cross between "velvet" and "Volvo", both of which i really like...










Really cause I love the word "snarf"


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## lovbeingamommy (Jun 17, 2007)

Oh geez







My DS knows the proper names for most things. I was in the medical field before I went into teaching so it's just common sense terms for me. Sometimes people are surprised or say things like, "Oh, you should let him have his childhood"







:


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## Mamafreya (May 13, 2004)

Some of these stories are so funny. LOL. I really think it's weird that people get so bent out of shape when a kid uses the proper term for their body parts. I also think that using cutesy names is totally fine as long as the child also knows to real names. I really don't see what the big deal is all around.

I would have a problem with it if the real names weren't taught to the child and were treated like bad words. My dd knows and uses the real names for girl and boy genitalia but she also uses different names that she comes up with sometimes too. I think it's fine either way really.

This is sort of off topic but this thread made me think of this.

At one of my old jobs I worked with these women who all ranged from different age groups. My manager was in her early 70s, my two co-workers were 30ish and newly 18. One day the 18yo told me that she had to leave early because she was going to get her clitoris pierced. Apparently this was something that she'd been wanting to do since she was 16 and she was pretty excited. So, she's getting her stuff and walking out the door when our manager comes over just as my other co-worker(30ish one) is walking up. They both asked where she was going and she said to ask me. So, I told them that she was off to pierce her clitoris.

Both of these women proceeded to ask me what the clitoris was. I was so embarrassed because I was trying to think of how to explain it in a clinical manner because these are my co-workers and one is my manager, yk. I really tried but they just kept looking at me all funny and then finally my manager walks off and then comes back with a pad of paper and a pen. She slaps it down on the desk and says that she wants me to draw it.







:
At that point I wanted to die. LOL. Anyway, I drew it as best as I could and then handed them the pad. My 30yo co-worker sort of rolled her eyes at me and said, "You mean the Rosebud! Why didn't you just say that?". Then our manager says, "I always called that the nub."







At that point I couldn't help it but I just lost it. I just couldn't stop laughing. Here are two grown adult women who are going around calling their clitoris their rosebud and nub. Thank God they had a sense of humor and we all ended up in hysterics because it was so funny and I didn't lose my job.









Anyway, I say to each their own but at least make sure that the proper terms are taught just so that you don't have be mortified at work one day. lol.


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## philomom (Sep 12, 2004)

http://www.artgoddess.com/purses.htm

I've always loved these. I need to figure out how to make one! Be sure and scroll down a bit, some of the prettiest ones are later on the page.


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## Softmama (Jun 10, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mamafreya* 

Both of these women proceeded to ask me what the clitoris was.











I find that the most shocking thing in this thread so far! Not one but TWO grown women had no idea what a clitoris was???


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## funkymamajoy (May 25, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **Erin** 

fwiw, i think "vulva" sounds nice, like, a cross between "velvet" and "Volvo", both of which i really like...










For some reason I hate the sound of "vulva." I don't like "Volvo" either. I don't know why, but vagina just sounds better.


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lovbeingamommy* 
"Oh, you should let him have his childhood"







:









That is hilarious!!!







I think I would fall over laughing if someone said that to me.

Regarding "yoni," I can appreciate its historical origin and meaning, but since most people don't know it, you'd run into exactly the same problems if a child were trying to describe abuse as you would with certain made-up names. I think the overall lesson is that people can use whatever terms they wish, as long as they _also_ teach the standard medical terms so that kids can communicate effectively if they need to.


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## EnviroBecca (Jun 5, 2002)

Quote:

"Cheese balls! My daddy has balls. and a penis" Oh boy. The teacher wasn't too thrilled about this. I think she just should have ignored it, but I guess she had a little talk with him about those topics being inappropriate for the snack table.








The rule in my son's preschool is that any conversation about private parts or bodily functions should take place in the bathroom. (They can say, "I have to potty." but can't talk about poop, pee, etc. until inside the bathroom.) I think this is pretty sensible. EnviroKid has decided it applies to life in general and will ask me to come into the bathroom with him at home so he can tell me whatever entertaining conversation happened in the school bathroom that day.









Quote:

My boss's name was Jaime (pronounced Hi-may) and I called him Hymen in our first conversation.
Hyman is a Yiddish male first name and is pronounced exactly like hymen. Guys with this name are usually called Hymie, but still, I wonder why anyone chooses this name for their son.


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *EnviroBecca* 
Hyman is a Yiddish male first name and is pronounced exactly like hymen. Guys with this name are usually called Hymie, but still, I wonder why anyone chooses this name for their son.









Meh, some men named by Richard go by Dick and people don't snicker -- they just accept that the same word can have different meanings in different contexts.


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## AliveMama (Mar 20, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *limabean* 
Meh, some men named by Richard go by Dick and *people don't snicker* -- they just accept that the same word can have different meanings in different contexts.

There was much snickering when our grade 4 teacher (from Brittan) said on the first day of school while doing roll call, "Richard C. Hi! Do they call you Dick?"

Now. If he wasn't the biggest jerk in the class, people may not have found it so amusing. As it was, there was great rejoicing at being introduced to that short form for the name.

There was less rejoicing, but similar interest when the same man asked Alex if people called him Sasha.

Let's just say, both new nicknames were used with great frequency.


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## AbbieB (Mar 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ixia* 
I use slang at times when I don't want him to know I'm referring to his penis. "DH, could you throw a pair of pants on him, I'm sick of his JohnDangler on the couch."









: I don't know why but this made me laugh out loud!

I am pretty amused to hear all of the nick names people have for their "bits". In our house the guys have a penis and testicles (even though I am working on correcting this to scrotum, since what you are looking at is not in fact a testicle. I realized this a few weeks after naming the part for DD.







) The gals have vulvas. My DD knows about the uterus, urethra (she likes to say pee hole







), ovaries, clitoris, labia, foreskin (no glans yet since she has not really asked for more info on the penis and it's not showing on little bro.)

Between DH and I, out of earshot of the kids we giggle over calling DS's penis his baby junk (thank you to the movie Juno for updating me on slang terms!) and I have started taking to calling everybody's private parts their bits, as in telling DH to make sure he wipes ALL of DS's bits when he changes a poopy diaper. DD has started referring to her privates when she is feeling shy, as in "Don't look at my privates." when getting dressed.

Part of me thinks that it is important for every person to be taught the proper names for their bodies and thinks this is what kids and their caregivers should be saying (common language is a good thing). But another part of me really does not care what other families choose to do. If my aunt needs to refer to a boy's penis as a "wet tail", whatever. I know that my kids have the correct information and that's all I can really control.


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## AbbieB (Mar 21, 2006)

I thought these thoughts needed a separate post than the above.

I think it is really sad/weird that adults don't know the proper terms for their own body parts. I'm going to put on my overly intellectual hat for a moment here and draw on my knowledge of how words have the power to shape thoughts for a moment.

I'm glad others have said it before me, I find it very frustrating that so many people use the term vagina to refer to all of a woman's genitalia. My DD and I have a vagina, but that certainly is not the part you are looking at when we are naked. Don't get me wrong, it's a very important part of our anatomy, but letting the vagina become the all encompassing word adds to mystification and confusion of the female body. I think it also does woman a disservice by making it seem like all of our other parts are just secondary and unimportant.

By correctly labeling a women's genitalia with the word vulva (or yoni), which is made up of many parts with different functions, I think we could help a lot of women feel more confident about their body and how it works. And then there would be the fringe benefits of men having some understanding that when it comes to sex, we women are a lot more than just a vagina.


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## EnviroBecca (Jun 5, 2002)

Quote:

Meh, some men named by Richard go by Dick and people don't snicker -- they just accept that the same word can have different meanings in different contexts.
IME, this is a lot more true of names like Matt and Mark. I can't think of anyone named Dick who I encountered regularly and never heard snickered about and/or commented on in the sense of dick=jerk. When I was in high school, the fact that there were 3 Dicks on the school board was mentioned frequently in a "What do you expect?" kind of way.







Later, I had a co-worker called Dick who was teased mercilessly by the boss; the fact that his last name was Moorhead only added to his troubles. I asked him why he didn't just call himself Richard. He said, "Because my full name's not Richard. It's Dickie."







What were his parents thinking??


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## churndash (Mar 25, 2009)

What is the context of all these discussions about children's genetalia?

I taught my kids the anatomically correct words for their body parts. My son is a middle schooler now, and boys his age use slang like "nuts" or "balls" or God only knows what else...I don't correct him if he says something like "I got kicked in the nuts at soccer practice". He knows the correct term, but in the context of hanging out with his friends, the slang is more appropriate.

I don't discuss my kids' genitals with other adults, unless it's a doctor, in which case the anatomically correct words are also correct in context.

My youngest knows the "right" words too, but it's a lot more fun to be silly and run around saying "look at my tushie" after a bath than it is to say "look at my buttocks/posterior".


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AbbieB* 
I'm glad others have said it before me, I find it very frustrating that so many people use the term vagina to refer to all of a woman's genitalia. My DD and I have a vagina, but that certainly is not the part you are looking at when we are naked. Don't get me wrong, it's a very important part of our anatomy, but letting the vagina become the all encompassing word adds to mystification and confusion of the female body. I think it also does woman a disservice by making it seem like all of our other parts are just secondary and unimportant.

By correctly labeling a women's genitalia with the word vulva (or yoni), which is made up of many parts with different functions, I think we could help a lot of women feel more confident about their body and how it works. And then there would be the fringe benefits of men having some understanding that when it comes to sex, we women are a lot more than just a vagina.









I would agree with you, except that, for all the years that I used the term "vagina", I never thought about what that actually applied to. I never thought that my vagina was more important than my clitoris (HECK, NO!!) or labia, or anything else. I simply didn't _know_ a word for the whole thing, and actually assumed that "vagina" did double-duty.

Likewise, the men I've known who didn't know the word "vulva" (ie. most, maybe all, of the men I've ever known!), didn't think my vagina was the only part of me, or even the only important part of me. They just thought that particular word meant the entire area. By and large, most people I've known (at least the ones I've talked to about it), are/were familiar with terms for most of the female parts - they just didn't know the term for the whole area, and thought that "vagina" was being correctly used that way.

And, when you get right down to it, why wouldn't they think that? If there's a single term that encompasses the penis and the scrotum, I've never heard it. It's not that surprising that people didn't/don't realize the same doesn't apply to women.

I wish I were surprised that grown women don't know the term "clitoris", but I'm not. As I mentioned upthread, I've seen diagrams (in the puberty types books) that show female genitalia, and include labels for the vagina, urethra, labia majora and minora...but don't include the clitoris _at all_.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lovbeingamommy* 
Oh geez







My DS knows the proper names for most things. I was in the medical field before I went into teaching so it's just common sense terms for me. Sometimes people are surprised or say things like, "Oh, you should let him have his childhood"







:

This might be the most mind-blowing comment on this thread, imo. How on earth is teaching ds2 that the thing dangling from his lower body that he finds so endlessly fascinating is called a "penis", instead of teaching him it's called a "pickle"? This is taking away his childhood? WTH?


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## AliveMama (Mar 20, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
I would agree with you, except that, for all the years that I used the term "vagina", I never thought about what that actually applied to. I never thought that my vagina was more important than my clitoris (HECK, NO!!) or labia, or anything else. I simply didn't _know_ a word for the whole thing, and actually assumed that "vagina" did double-duty.

Likewise, the men I've known who didn't know the word "vulva" (ie. most, maybe all, of the men I've ever known!), didn't think my vagina was the only part of me, or even the only important part of me. They just thought that particular word meant the entire area. By and large, most people I've known (at least the ones I've talked to about it), are/were familiar with terms for most of the female parts - they just didn't know the term for the whole area, and thought that "vagina" was being correctly used that way.

And, when you get right down to it, why wouldn't they think that? If there's a single term that encompasses the penis and the scrotum, I've never heard it. It's not that surprising that people didn't/don't realize the same doesn't apply to women.

I wish I were surprised that grown women don't know the term "clitoris", but I'm not. As I mentioned upthread, I've seen diagrams (in the puberty types books) that show female genitalia, and include labels for the vagina, urethra, labia majora and minora...but don't include the clitoris _at all_.

How is it any different to ignorantly call your vulva a "vagina" than to call you vulva any of the other words that are used, they are all just as wrong.

That's what I don't understand about this discussion. 1 type of ignorance is no better than another kind. The false superiority really bugs me.


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AliveMama* 
How is it any different to ignorantly call your vulva a "vagina" than to call you vulva any of the other words that are used, they are all just as wrong.

That's what I don't understand about this discussion. 1 type of ignorance is no better than another kind. The false superiority really bugs me.

Who is being falsely superior? I think Storm Bride is just explaining (exceptionally well, IMO) how it comes to be that some people use the word "vagina" to describe visible female genitalia. She's not advocating that people continue to do so, I don't think, just saying why they do it.

The poster she quoted was saying that using the word "vagina" reduces all of a woman's genitalia to just her vaginal canal (which it does, if people are aware of the definition of the word they're using), but Storm Bride is saying that, since many people think that "vagina" is an all-encompassing term for all of a woman's genitals, they aren't *trying* to exclude the other parts. So yes, they're using the wrong word and hopefully at some point they'll learn the correct term and start using it, but in the meantime, when they say "vagina" they're thinking of the whole area and aren't intentionally excluding the other parts.


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## because why not? (Feb 20, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
The Romans would be my guess. Vagina is Latin for "sheath" or "Scabbard".


I will cook this crow over the heat of your white-hot sarcasm, and eat it over there in the corner.







:

I confused two parts of a drawn-out conversation of long ago re: the etimology of words like vagina and woman. "poursthegibletgravy:


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## AliveMama (Mar 20, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *limabean* 
Who is being falsely superior? I think Storm Bride is just explaining (exceptionally well, IMO) how it comes to be that some people use the word "vagina" to describe visible female genitalia. She's not advocating that people continue to do so, I don't think, just saying why they do it.

I don't think that using the word vagina is any more defensible than using the word frog, or chichi, or any of the other ones mentioned.

Her explaination as to why some women call their vulva a "vagina" is the same as people who were taught to call it something else like "frog".


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AliveMama* 
I don't think that using the word vagina is any more defensible than using the word frog, or chichi, or any of the other ones mentioned.

Her explaination as to why some women call their vulva a "vagina" is the same as people who were taught to call it something else like "frog".

I edited my earlier post -- I'm not sure if you saw the edit. I guess SB and I aren't explaining ourselves well if what you're taking away from the discussion is that we think "vagina" is an acceptable synonym for "vulva."


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## yogafeet (Jul 3, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *number572* 
Just as a "ime" post - I completed a yoga teacher training a while back and thought of this when I read this thread. We were all sitting around discussing the class we'd just taken and a classmate of ours (a female) commented on a certain asana, she said "I feel intimidated when I do this (certain) asana in a public class b'c I take air into my vagina when entering the pose, and then upon releasing the asana (yoga pose), I have a sort of vaginal "fart" how can I avoid that?".

OMG, you would have thought we were a room of ten yr old boys. I was thrown by the students laughing & mocking...

It was weird... many people are sort of closed when correct terminology is used. Embarrassed even. I hope that changes, it gets in the way of very real factors. And real solutions.

Best luck on trying to enlighten OR ignore them!


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## yogafeet (Jul 3, 2007)

Well, this has to be one of the best threads I have read in a very long time. My twin girls were napping on my lap when I was reading it and I had to be careful not to laugh out loud.

Thanks for the education on vulva-- I knew it, but not enough to actually tell them the correct terminology, so I will be forever in your debt.


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## sunflowergirll (Feb 24, 2009)

I admit I have not read every post (stopped on page 4).

We use penis and vagina in our house. It seems natural that way. I am perfectly aware of the vulva/clitoris/urethra/perineum/labia/hymen but it seems natural to just use vagina when talking to our 2 year old. We will get into more details when appropriate.

My DD used to say peanut. As in, "daddy has a peanut." DH wasn't too excited about that. I thought it was hilarious.

DD also says nipples and breast-es. As in, "the baby will have nums from mommy's breast-es/nipples." Or "I no can give my baby nums. I no have breast-es."

I definitely don't understand using "cute-sy" language. Body parts are not something to be ashamed of!


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## AliveMama (Mar 20, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sunflowergirll* 
We use penis and vagina in our house. It seems natural that way. I am perfectly aware of the vulva/clitoris/urethra/perineum/labia/hymen but it seems natural to just use vagina when talking to our 2 year old. We will get into more details when appropriate.

Why is vagina "natural"? My interactions with my 2yo DD are basically always about her vulva. I can only think of one time when we talked about her vagina. And that was me telling her that she shouldn't stick her finger into it because her hands were dirty.

Everything else is about her vulva. She needs to wipe the pee from he vulva after going pee. She needs to wipe from her vulva to bum after she poops so that poop doesn't get into her vulva (we're concerned about both the vagina and the urethra in that case). It's all about her vulva. Her vagina isn't really in play yet.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AliveMama* 
How is it any different to ignorantly call your vulva a "vagina" than to call you vulva any of the other words that are used, they are all just as wrong.

That's what I don't understand about this discussion. 1 type of ignorance is no better than another kind. The false superiority really bugs me.

I'm sorry. I must have missed where I said it was okay to be ignorant. I was simply arguing that people who mistakenly used the term "vagina" when referring to a woman's entire genitalia were not, in fact, ignoring the clitoris, labia, etc. and saying that the vagina is the only important part. I've known many people who called a woman's entire genitalia the "vagina" who were still very aware of the clitoris, labia, etc. and considered them very important. Heck - I called the whole area the vagina for years, and I can assure you that I was very aware of how important the clitoris is!

In any case, someone calling a girl's genitalia a "frog" isn't actually _ignorant_. I'm forced to assume that a mom telling her daughter that her daughter's genitalia is a "frog" actually does know that it isn't. She just can't bring herself to teach a little girl a "bad" (??) word. I was _ignorant_ of the actual word.

I'm not saying ignorant is better or worse, but it's definitely not the _same_.


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## Julia'sMom (Mar 12, 2007)

Well...I'm just going to admit that I didn't know what a vulva, yoni, or clitoris was until a year or so ago.







: Now, my dd knows vulva. She's constantly interested in why I have hair on my vulva, but she doesn't. However, she still thinks she pees from her butt...so we've got a ways to go.

Btw, the in-laws thought it was hilarious when dd declared "I have little nursies" to everyone as she was getting changed into jammies.


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## churndash (Mar 25, 2009)

Now see you mention "nursies" - lots of breastfeeding mothers have children with nicknames for the breast. That doesn't mean they won't also be told (or haven't already been told) that it's called a breast, they just have another word that they also like to use. What's wrong with that?


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## ~PurityLake~ (Jul 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *churndash* 
Now see you mention "nursies" - lots of breastfeeding mothers have children with nicknames for the breast. That doesn't mean they won't also be told (or haven't already been told) that it's called a breast, they just have another word that they also like to use. What's wrong with that?

or nums... and I do not get it. My daughters call my boobs, boobs, or breasts, depending on which term I most frequently refer to them. They call nipples, nipples. They call nursing, nursing.







...... Sophia asks to nurse by saying, 'Mommy, can I nurse, pleeeeeease?'

I think 'num nums' and various other terms are silly. It's as though the mom is too embarrassed to have their child say the world nurse out loud in public and has trained their child to say some other term to avoid feeling embarrassed.


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## Mamafreya (May 13, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 
I think 'num nums' and various other terms are silly. It's as though the mom is too embarrassed to have their child say the world nurse out loud in public and has trained their child to say some other term to avoid feeling embarrassed.

My kids are the ones who chose their own names for nursing. I called it nursing/nurse and they both came up with their own names. What's wrong with that? I can assure you that I'm not embarrassed to have my kids say nursing/breast/nipple in public. There was no training going on at all.







I think in the case of breastfeeding a lot of babies/toddlers have a hard time saying nurse or nursing so they coin a word of their own.

I really don't get why silly names for body parts bother people at all really. boobs are a slang/silly term for breasts.


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## ~PurityLake~ (Jul 31, 2005)

mamafreya, I didn't say I was bothered by it. I said I don't understand when parents teach their children to use silly names instead of teaching them the proper term. Obviously, that doesn't apply to you.


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## Mamafreya (May 13, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 
mamafreya, I didn't say I was bothered it. I said I don't understand when parents teach their children to use silly names instead of teaching them the proper term. Obviously, that doesn't apply to you.

Sorry, I understood that. I should've been more clear in my post. I stepped away for a sec and then came back to it but I forgot to reread it.

What I meant to include was that I think with nursing it's way more common for babes to make up their own words for nursing then it is with genitalia. I think that in the case of naming genitals it's more common for the parents to be the one to make up silly names. I guess it just seemed like such a different situation that I thought the example wasn't accurate. I've never known another women to make up her kids name for nursing. In my experience it was always the LO who named the breasts.

Anyway, I do think that it's super important to make sure that children and adults know the proper terms for their body parts no matter what you choose to call them. I want my kids to grow up knowing what their body parts are called and also what the opposite sex body parts are called as well. I don't see anything wrong with kids saying penis/vulva/vagina, I really just don't know why it would upset someone if they heard a kid say penis or vagina. Also, I don't think using silly names is bad either as long as the child knows that they are just silly names.


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *because why not?* 
I will cook this crow over the heat of your white-hot sarcasm, and eat it over there in the corner.







:

I confused two parts of a drawn-out conversation of long ago re: the etimology of words like vagina and woman. "poursthegibletgravy:

Glad I could help with dinner.


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## Breeder (May 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
I'm sorry. I must have missed where I said it was okay to be ignorant. I was simply arguing that people who mistakenly used the term "vagina" when referring to a woman's entire genitalia were not, in fact, ignoring the clitoris, labia, etc. and saying that the vagina is the only important part. I've known many people who called a woman's entire genitalia the "vagina" who were still very aware of the clitoris, labia, etc. and considered them very important. Heck - I called the whole area the vagina for years, and I can assure you that I was very aware of how important the clitoris is!

_In any case, someone calling a girl's genitalia a "frog" isn't actually ignorant. I'm forced to assume that a mom telling her daughter that her daughter's genitalia is a "frog" actually does know that it isn't. She just can't bring herself to teach a little girl a "bad" (??) word. I was ignorant of the actual word._

I'm not saying ignorant is better or worse, but it's definitely not the _same_.

Thank you SB, this hits it right on the nose. My mom didn't want to say "vagina" or "vulva" because they were impolite like curse words.

Bottom line: old habits are hard to break. I may die and never really feel fully comfortable with "vulva" or "yoni" as terms to use in my everyday life. Probably because I am not sitting around talking about female genitals on a regular basis (since I'm not pregnant and my kids are boys, so really what's there to discuss if everything is functioning normally?). I know the correct term, I have passed it on to my children.

I truly do not understand the reasons for me being attacked for a word I use privately and rarely (vag). (Aside from the fact that my mom had the wierdest code word for genitals and therefore it is a good example of ridiculousness).

((Actually, come to think of it, when I am speaking about my "lady bits" I am not often referring to the part you can see, unless it's to my son - and then I say vulva. Hmmm, perhaps I do use it correctly. Something to ponder for myself there))


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## flowers (Apr 8, 2004)

Thank you so much for the vagina/vulva education. I knew it, but I guess didn't fully understand it. Wouldn't you know I find saying the word 'vulva' to be very pleasing and easy whereas vagina is a little ear splitting, to me at least.


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## sunflowergirll (Feb 24, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AliveMama* 
Why is vagina "natural"?

It's natural to me







In my mind vagina is the opposite of a penis. Boys and penises and girls have vaginas.

I don't think it's wrong either way, it just comes out more naturally to me.

In terms of calling breastmilk "nums" in our house, it evolved from
1. Do you want something yummy? to
2. Do you want something nummy? to
3. Do you want some nums?

My daughter is well acquainted with breastmilk, milk, breasts, nipples, nursing etc.

As someone else said, it's like kitty vs. cat. I'll say "night-night," napsky, etc because I like to play around with language. I used to say messcagisms for messages for a long time until my husband pointed out that is sounds like gizm, something I wouldn't have thought of.

Anyway, I think it's great that you say vulva. But, I really don't see why it bothers you when we say vagina in our house.


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## MayBaby2007 (Feb 22, 2007)

To the OP. I haven't had "disaproval" from other parents, but I've had the "awkward silence moment" if we're talking about the silly things our girls do and I say, "Yeah, I have to tell dd not to put xyz in her vagina on a daily basis" or something like that. Like the other mother is embarrassed that I dare say _that_ word. *shrugs* Oh well.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sunflowergirll* 
We use penis and vagina in our house. It seems natural that way. I am perfectly aware of the vulva/clitoris/urethra/perineum/labia/hymen but it seems natural to just use vagina when talking to our 2 year old. We will get into more details when appropriate.

This is what I do with my 2 yo. She's too young to break out the diagram and labels, so we use "vagina". I'm almost sure that everyone in the entire country has heard the word "vagina". So, if my daughter tells her gramma, teacher, or other adult that "johnny touched my vagina"....she will be heard. Whereas if she says "johnny touched my vulva", the teacher/whoever may scratch their head and say, "Ok. Well, tell him not to anymore. Go along and play now....."

When she's old enough I'll break out the diagram, as I'm sure the other parents will do when their child is ready to learn all the correct terms. Relax everyone. Take a deep breath. It's gonna be okay


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## dancindoula (Jun 20, 2005)

Quote:

Originally Posted by *because why not?*:
I will cook this crow over the heat of your white-hot sarcasm, and eat it over there in the corner.








: This line needs to be enshrined in the MDC Hall of All-Time Best Posts.


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## Ceinwen (Jul 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *because why not?* 
I will cook this crow over the heat of your white-hot sarcasm, and eat it over there in the corner.







:

Seriously - this whole thread had me chuckling, but I am rolling over here right now. This is simply the best one liner I've read here in YEARS - because why not - simply fantastic!


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## AbbieB (Mar 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MayBaby2007* 
This is what I do with my 2 yo. She's too young to break out the diagram and labels, so we use "vagina". I'm almost sure that everyone in the entire country has heard the word "vagina". So, if my daughter tells her gramma, teacher, or other adult that "johnny touched my vagina"....she will be heard. Whereas if she says "johnny touched my vulva", the teacher/whoever may scratch their head and say, "Ok. Well, tell him not to anymore. Go along and play now....."


Just curious about your post (I'm not trying to be snarky), are you saying that people will not know what a vulva is? As in you know folks that have no idea what that word refers to?


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## AbbieB (Mar 21, 2006)

This tread has focused a lot on the female anatomy. I'm curious about the male anatomy and what people are doing.

What do you call your son's bits? Penis and testicles? Penis and scrotum? As I think I mentioned in an earlier post one is technically more correct than the other but just like the vagina/vulva issue, seems not to be the popular choice.


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## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)

We use penis and scrotum, but we also say that inside the scrotum are testicles.

I don't think 2 is too young for diagrams and labels. We've been looking at anatomy books since at least 2.


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## EnviroBecca (Jun 5, 2002)

Quote:

are you saying that people will not know what a vulva is? As in you know folks that have no idea what that word refers to?
I have heard one of my Girl Scouts say "vulva" and half the troop (ages 9-11) say, "What??" (Confusion was resolved by a wave of the hand toward the relevant area.) Years ago when there was a "Seinfeld" episode about dating a woman whose name rhymed with a female part but he couldn't remember which







, the majority of people in my office lunchroom were puzzling over why one of his guesses was "Mulva". And I went to high school with a guy whose last name was Mulva and never once heard him teased about it, which I'm sure he would've been if most people knew the word vulva.


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## Rivka5 (Jul 13, 2005)

My husband's stepmother was horrified when our 3-year-olds said "nipples" in front of her. "WHERE did she LEARN that WORD?" Um, from us? Because she has them?

God help us if Alex decides to show off her knowledge about baby brother's scrotum on our next visit...


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AbbieB* 
Just curious about your post (I'm not trying to be snarky), are you saying that people will not know what a vulva is? As in you know folks that have no idea what that word refers to?

I don't think I knew, for sure, what "vulva" meant until I was about 30. We have a woman on this thread talking about coworkers who had no idea what a clitoris was (_two_ coworkers, both female!). It wouldn't surprise me at all if a significant number of people don't know what it means.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AbbieB* 
This tread has focused a lot on the female anatomy. I'm curious about the male anatomy and what people are doing.

What do you call your son's bits? Penis and testicles? Penis and scrotum? As I think I mentioned in an earlier post one is technically more correct than the other but just like the vagina/vulva issue, seems not to be the popular choice.

Penis and scrotum, but the kids also know that he has testicles inside his scrotum. (They're also familiar with "balls", though.)


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## Dr.Worm (Nov 20, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
I don't even get what you're saying here. If adults don't know the proper term, but think that they do, how on earth can it be "easy-peasy" to use the _actual_ term?

I'd heard the term 'vulva' many times, without actually knowing what it was, and I was taught that my genitals were my 'vagina'. I know that at some point, I realized that vagina only technically applied to the birth canal...but I still didn't know what the general term for a woman's genitalia was, and assumed that 'vagina' had been expanded, in the usage, beyond the birth canal. We didn't even learn that when we went through the whole "these are the changes your body will go through" spiel in 5th grade. I now know the terms is 'vulva'...but I still tend to _think_ 'vagina'.

I think it's good that parents try to teach their children the proper terms, even if they don't get them exactly right - and it beats the heck out of calling the vulva a 'purse'! (As kriket said, even 'vagina', instead of 'vulva' works, when it comes to a child reporting inappropriate touches...and most adults will know exactly what the child means.) I think I taught ds1 'vagina', and dd has had a mix of both (because I know the correct term, but am still in the habit of using the incorrect one). She's figuring it out.









yeah...I think the most important thing here is that a child feel comfortable talking about their vagina...or vulva..or penis because kids shouldn't feel ashamed of their bodies.


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## Dr.Worm (Nov 20, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lisa1970* 
I find the word for penis being goober is disgusting. Isn't a goober...a nose mucous grossy thingy? uuggghhh...I would way rather hear penis.

it is also a chocolate-covered nut and quite yummy


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## library lady (Sep 3, 2007)

I don't have boys but I seem to recall my mother referring to my nephew's "tally wacker". I am sorry but that sounds way more obscene than penis.


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## flower01 (Aug 1, 2007)

Last night I tried to teach my daughter the word "vulva." She's 23 months and I attempted it awhile ago when we were learning other body parts but she didn't have very many words so it was quickly forgotten. Now that she is potty training and picking up words fast I figured I'd try to teach her. She was naked - i was not but she accidently hit me when she was jumping on the bed. I took the opportunity to explain that it hurt my vulva. And since she had no clothes on I pointed to hers. She tried to say the word and it comes out more like "wool-wa." And then later I realized she thought I was pointing to the snowflakes on my pajamas, which she also had on her shirt - weird coincidence. So a little while later we were talking about it with DH and she was pointing at all the snowflakes saying "wool-wa." So that lesson was a waste. And my DH said why don't we just have her call it "woo-woo." Uh, noooo. I've never liked words like that and I have no idea what I called it when I was a kid but i always though my teenage friends words for it were so gross. But, i'm thinking that if she can't pronounce vulva or vagina maybe it's just better to teach her a common "cute" word. I don't think any teacher is going to know what she's talking about if she tells them that someone touched her "wool-wa."


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## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)

I still think you should teach her the right word, and she will learn proper pronunciation when she gets older like any other word. My dd called it bulba for a long time.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

My health teacher in middle school had a little rant about that bit in that one movie (with Arnold S., "kindergarten cop"?) where the girl says "boys have a penis and girls have a vagina!" she went off that if anything the clitoris was the equivalent of the penis when it came to sex which is what the girl was talking about.








Obviously, in that class we learned all the proper terms.

Funnily, my somewhat prudish mother approved of the teacher even with all the details about what bits did what and which just felt good and so forth, because the teacher presented everything as "when you're an adult, sex is like..."


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

I hope to goodness no little girl ever comes up to me to say someone touched her vagina if she gets accidentally bumped between her legs cause I will have a heart attack before remembering that she might just mean the outside bit.


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## TortelliniMama (Mar 11, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *the_lissa* 
I still think you should teach her the right word, and she will learn proper pronunciation when she gets older like any other word. My dd called it bulba for a long time.









: After all, lots of little kids say "pisghetti," but we don't change to telling them spaghetti is something that's easier to pronounce. If you just keep modeling "vulva," she'll say it correctly when she's able to.


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## ~PurityLake~ (Jul 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
Penis and scrotum, but the kids also know that he has testicles inside his scrotum. (They're also familiar with "balls", though.)

In Spanish, it's juevos, which translates into eggs.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
in that one movie (with Arnold S., "kindergarten cop"?) where the girl says "boys have a penis and girls have a vagina!" she went off that if anything the clitoris was the equivalent of the penis when it came to sex which is what the girl was talking about.









(it was a boy in the movie, not a girl, who's mom was a gynecologist)

Also, regarding, most people don't know the term vulva: I don't think that should stop us from teaching our children the proper term. Ignorance breeds ignorance, right? Not that anyone here is doing that. I just mean, if so many adults (myself included) didn't even know the term vulva or what it meant until they were adults, don't we want better for our children? Just because the teacher may not know what the term vulva means, does that mean we should continue to use the improper, inaccurate term of vagina?


----------



## azjen43 (Feb 16, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *poiyt* 
Not using it as a scapegoat - but a possible reason. We also had a class, I know it was biology in high school, but there was also sections on it in elementary school (social studies..?) where we went over and labelled the body parts - completely separate from sex-ed - it was just something that was learned. That was another class I was talking about.

I haven't yet read through all the responses...(I'm glad this topic is so popular!) but wanted to respond to this.

I was a Jr. High Biology teacher for years (part of that was teaching reproduction, although not technically sex ed) and am now an educator for a county health department. What I have noticed is that many health and sex ed curricula don't place much emphasis on the external female genitalia, just the internal, especially at the junior high level. I had to review quite a few before I found a really comprehensive curriculum that was acceptable to the powers that be in my agency.

So, I'm not really surprised when some don't know as much about the external female genitals. I've had fathers in my childbirth classes also say, "Huh...I didn't know that," when they learned more about what's down there.


----------



## kriket (Nov 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *library lady* 
I don't have boys but I seem to recall my mother referring to my nephew's "tally wacker". I am sorry but that sounds way more obscene than penis.

















:
I know this in totally un-couth of me, but I'm going to start saying tally wacker again!

oh! and wanker!


----------



## poiyt (Jul 6, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *azjen43* 
I haven't yet read through all the responses...(I'm glad this topic is so popular!) but wanted to respond to this.

I was a Jr. High Biology teacher for years (part of that was teaching reproduction, although not technically sex ed) and am now an educator for a county health department. What I have noticed is that many health and sex ed curricula don't place much emphasis on the external female genitalia, just the internal, especially at the junior high level. I had to review quite a few before I found a really comprehensive curriculum that was acceptable to the powers that be in my agency.

So, I'm not really surprised when some don't know as much about the external female genitals. I've had fathers in my childbirth classes also say, "Huh...I didn't know that," when they learned more about what's down there.










lol...thats so true! My husband can very easily tell me what fallopian tubes are and where they are...but I said the word vulva the other day and he had to ask me what it was all shyly of course...


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## JElaineB (Nov 12, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TortelliniMama* 
But the other day, she was 'exploring' and suddenly announced to me, "I have a penis!" She pulled her diaper down in the front and pointed at her clitoris.

"Actually, that's your clitoris," I told her.

"No!" she insisted. "It's my penis." I decided to choose my battles and dropped it. (Besides, dd's personality is that she would argue it to the death at that moment, but since I dropped it, next week she's likely to point it out and tell me it's her clitoris.














)

Your daughter is pretty insightful, actually. The clitoris in the female is equivalent to the penis in the male; they come from the same embyronic tissue.

With DS, we use penis. Less frequently we refer to his scrotum or testicles. I also make sure he understand what his foreskin is and why some other boys' penises look different than his. We also sometimes refer to the general area as "crotch". Haven't really gotten into discussion of girl parts yet, though he does call breasts "boobies". We usually call the buttocks "butt". So I guess we are pretty mixed on our terminology usage.


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## Breeder (May 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AbbieB* 
What do you call your son's bits? Penis and testicles? Penis and scrotum? As I think I mentioned in an earlier post one is technically more correct than the other but just like the vagina/vulva issue, seems not to be the popular choice.


We use penis and scrotum if we are talking about washing, we use testicles if someone gets hit in the region. DH explained to DS1 that testicles were "little balls" inside of his scrotum. When DS later hurt himself, he said "Ow I hurt my little balls."


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## MayBaby2007 (Feb 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AbbieB* 
Just curious about your post (I'm not trying to be snarky), are you saying that people will not know what a vulva is? As in you know folks that have no idea what that word refers to?

That's exactly what I'm saying. *I* didn't even know what "vulva" meant until a few months ago, thanks to a smiliar thread on MDC. A *lot* of women have confessed to not knowing proper terms until well into adulthood (and probably more who are too embarrassed to admit it). At age 26, I had to google to find an illistrated drawing to figure it out. Yes, I'm completely serious. I knew "clit" and "vagina" from my mom. My health class never went into outside detail, as a few others have mentioned. I was never interested in human anatomy and had no desire to self educate myself.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
I hope to goodness no little girl ever comes up to me to say someone touched her vagina if she gets accidentally bumped between her legs cause I will have a heart attack before remembering that she might just mean the outside bit.

Well if she does, I'm sure she can explain what happened and you can judge for yourself if it was harmless or not. But, when she's old enough I will explain vulva/labia/vagina/clit to her....but not right now. *My* two year old isn't ready for diagrams. Guess she's slow like that









When we get into the detailed body parts discussion, I will also inform her that a lot of adults are not educated with the female body. I will educate her well enough that she will be able to explain herself.


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## MayBaby2007 (Feb 22, 2007)

Ok. I just asked my nearest female co-worker the following:

Me: "I have a really weird question for you."
Her: "Ok?"
Me: "Do you know what a vulva is?"
Her: "A volvo? Like a car?"
Me: "No a vulva; v-u-l-v-a (spelled it). Do you know what that is?"
Her: "No?" (Very confused look on her face).
Me: "Its the outside part of our girl parts."
Her: "Huh. I didn't know that."
(Then I explained why I was asking, purposes of an online discussion







)

She's 41 and has birthed 2 daughters. I'm going to take a poll of all the women I know to see who knows what a vulva is.


----------



## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)

Nevermind.


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## MayBaby2007 (Feb 22, 2007)

Nevermind as well.


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## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)

Nevermind.


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## MayBaby2007 (Feb 22, 2007)

And I just asked a 42 year old female co-worker who has birthed 3 boys.

She had no idea what vulva was. I even told her, "vulva is something every woman has." She shook her head and said, "I have no idea."

So, no. Absolutely not....I will not change the terminology I use with dd. Until she's old enough to understand it all.


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## Irishmommy (Nov 19, 2001)

We always use the correct terminology, but I don't think dh is that comfortable with it. If I say vulva, he starts talking about cars. He's joking, but I think it's discomfort making him joke (that, or to get a rise out me







).

The only proper word I have a problem saying is "perineum", as I'm not sure how it's pronounced over here, and I can come up with at least two pronounciations for it.


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## EnviroBecca (Jun 5, 2002)

Those of you who think the vulva/vagina distinction is very important: Do you also get upset when people say "testicles" when they mean "scrotum"? After all, testicles are just the inside part.


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## fruitfulmomma (Jun 8, 2002)

Not exactly the same but my mil (and apparently her mom did the same) will not use the term "pregnant". She prefers "with child" and gets upset when my kids say otherwise. She also did not tell my husbands siblings she was pregnant with him because "it was not their business". Her oldest daughter, who was a teenager, figured it out when she was several months along.


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## jeevee3 (Mar 7, 2009)

Skull, cranium, head, noggin, melon... etc. What does it matter, as long as the speaker is able to indicate what they're talking about? And really, why does a 2 year old need to know proper terms? To me, it's the difference between noodles and spaghetti. Saying noodles for now does not mean he can't learn it's actually spaghetti later on.

Anyway, I have NEVER, EVER seen so many pages of posts on other forums talking about how weird it is that some parents do this-or-that. I've been here long enough now to see that some MDC posters are the most judgemental people out there... and all under the guise that you don't like being judged? huh? what?

Maybe MDC is not the place for me, because I honestly can't understand this "I am so much <bleepin> better than you because I taught my 2 year old to say vulva" attitude.

Goodbye MDC. I'm sick of the complaints and the holier than thou attitude.


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## MayBaby2007 (Feb 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jeevee3* 
Skull, cranium, head, noggin, melon... etc. What does it matter, as long as the speaker is able to indicate what they're talking about? And really, why does a 2 year old need to know proper terms? To me, it's the difference between noodles and spaghetti. Saying noodles for now does not mean he can't learn it's actually spaghetti later on.

Anyway, I have NEVER, EVER seen so many pages of posts on other forums talking about how weird it is that some parents do this-or-that. I've been here long enough now to see that some MDC posters are the most judgemental people out there... and all under the guise that you don't like being judged? huh? what?

Maybe MDC is not the place for me, because I honestly can't understand this "I am so much <bleepin> better than you because I taught my 2 year old to say vulva" attitude.










: I totally agreee.

Sorry to see you go though.


----------



## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jeevee3* 
Anyway, I have NEVER, EVER seen so many pages of posts on other forums talking about how weird it is that some parents do this-or-that. I've been here long enough now to see that some MDC posters are the most judgemental people out there... and all under the guise that you don't like being judged? huh? what?

You know...I get what you're saying, but this thread did get started because people are so freaked out about a child knowing the proper names for their genitals. I think it is in a child's best interests to learn the proper words, but it's not something I get bent about. I would _definitely_ be upset if someone were on my case, or looking down on my child, because my child uses "penis", instead of "pickle". I'll admit that people only teaching cutesy terms gets on my last nerve...but, if I ran a home daycare, I wouldn't kick a child out for calling her genitals her purse...and one of the women in this thread had her child kicked out of a home daycare for using the correct term. So, when you get right down to it, who is really being the judgmental one there...the people who are annoyed by cutesy terms, or the people who are so outraged by correct terms that they'll kick a child out of daycare for using them?


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## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jeevee3* 
Skull, cranium, head, noggin, melon... etc. What does it matter, as long as the speaker is able to indicate what they're talking about? And really, why does a 2 year old need to know proper terms? To me, it's the difference between noodles and spaghetti. Saying noodles for now does not mean he can't learn it's actually spaghetti later on.

Anyway, I have NEVER, EVER seen so many pages of posts on other forums talking about how weird it is that some parents do this-or-that. I've been here long enough now to see that some MDC posters are the most judgemental people out there... and all under the guise that you don't like being judged? huh? what?

Maybe MDC is not the place for me, because I honestly can't understand this "I am so much <bleepin> better than you because I taught my 2 year old to say vulva" attitude.

Goodbye MDC. I'm sick of the complaints and the holier than thou attitude.

Well the abuse/court angle is one reason why it matters. Another reason is that there are grown women who don't know what a clitoris or vulva is.

I also haven't seen any judging going on.

I don't think I am better than anyone because my kids know the proper terminology.


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## AFWife (Aug 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MayBaby2007* 
That's exactly what I'm saying. *I* didn't even know what "vulva" meant until a few months ago, thanks to a smiliar thread on MDC. A *lot* of women have confessed to not knowing proper terms until well into adulthood (and probably more who are too embarrassed to admit it). At age 26, I had to google to find an illistrated drawing to figure it out. Yes, I'm completely serious. I knew "clit" and "vagina" from my mom. My health class never went into outside detail, as a few others have mentioned. I was never interested in human anatomy and had no desire to self educate myself.

I'll be another that admits to this. I knew labia were the "lips" down there...but vulva? That was fairly new to me...

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jeevee3* 

Anyway, I have NEVER, EVER seen so many pages of posts on other forums talking about how weird it is that some parents do this-or-that. I've been here long enough now to see that some MDC posters are the most judgemental people out there... and all under the guise that you don't like being judged? huh? what?


Yeah, some of the posts have come across as judgemental. But a lot of this thread, for me anyway, has been enlightening. Think about how many moms came in and said, "Hey, I didn't know what it was called until a thread on MDC." How many moms and dads do you think learned something just from this thread?


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jeevee3* 
Skull, cranium, head, noggin, melon... etc. What does it matter, as long as the speaker is able to indicate what they're talking about? And really, why does a 2 year old need to know proper terms? To me, it's the difference between noodles and spaghetti. Saying noodles for now does not mean he can't learn it's actually spaghetti later on.

Anyway, I have NEVER, EVER seen so many pages of posts on other forums talking about how weird it is that some parents do this-or-that. I've been here long enough now to see that some MDC posters are the most judgemental people out there... and all under the guise that you don't like being judged? huh? what?

Maybe MDC is not the place for me, because I honestly can't understand this "I am so much <bleepin> better than you because I taught my 2 year old to say vulva" attitude.

Goodbye MDC. I'm sick of the complaints and the holier than thou attitude.

First... Lets see, why does a 2 yo need to know? Well far as I know it's not that they need to know as much as it's their body and they have a _right_ to know. Yeah they can learn it later. But they can also learn cute names later, in fact most do so why not be the place where they get real info instead of the cute-so-as-not-to-offend info.

Second... Facinating how in you manage to make your post judgemental while attempting to rant about judging others. Or maybe not.


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## ~PurityLake~ (Jul 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *EnviroBecca* 
Those of you who think the vulva/vagina distinction is very important: Do you also get upset when people say "testicles" when they mean "scrotum"? After all, testicles are just the inside part.


First of all, none of this upsets me. I just prefer to use proper terms as best I can to teach my daughters about just about everything in this world, as long as I know them.

People in my world usually refer to testicles/scrotum as balls, not the proper term. What others call their own parts is none of my concern as long as I understand what they mean. I have no sons, so teaching the proper terms to a boy is not something I have to worry about. My girls are still too young to worry about teaching them about boy parts, but when I do get to that, I will teach them the proper terms.


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## AbbieB (Mar 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MayBaby2007* 
Ok. I just asked my nearest female co-worker the following:

Me: "I have a really weird question for you."
Her: "Ok?"
Me: "Do you know what a vulva is?"
Her: "A volvo? Like a car?"
Me: "No a vulva; v-u-l-v-a (spelled it). Do you know what that is?"
Her: "No?" (Very confused look on her face).
Me: "Its the outside part of our girl parts."
Her: "Huh. I didn't know that."
(Then I explained why I was asking, purposes of an online discussion







)

She's 41 and has birthed 2 daughters. I'm going to take a poll of all the women I know to see who knows what a vulva is.

I bet there are a lot of interesting conversations going on in offices and living rooms all of the country, maybe even the world, right now.









I just got off the phone with my sister. (She's 3 years younger, we are both well into our 30's.) Even though we grew up in the same house and she was involved in almost every conversation about sex I had with our mother, she did not know what a vulva was. She knew the word but took a guess about what it reefed to (she knew it had something to do with female genitalia.)

I'm glad that it has come up that vulva is not a generally known word. I had know idea and I will be sure DD knows to say vagina if someone is confused. (I hope she never has a need to talk about her vulva/vagina to some stranger that might misunderstand!)

I'm sorry that some folks are feeling judged. Speaking for myself, I'm just engaging in a conversation and I am truly interested in what others are thinking/doing. I learn a lot here at MDC.

Changing direction a little, the first time I remember being annoyed about "incorrect" usage of vagina was after seeing The Vagina Monologues. I guess that should have been a clue to me that vagina is a generally more accepted/used word than vulva, huh. I think I was annoyed that adults in the show seemed not to know the difference and were broadcasting this to the public. I figured that somebody should have said something to the writers. It also irked me that for many in the audience, this was perhaps the first time some of these words and topics were openly discussed and here they were getting incorrect info (I'm thinking about the men that I knew that saw the show and commented on what an eye opener it was, they had know idea, blah, blah blah.)

I don't think I have ever been annoyed to hear a young child refer to their vagina, because as some have already said, I figured they would get clarification as they got older.

Another question to those that learned about the vulva/vagina differences when they were adults. Did it piss you off that you had not learned this stuff sooner? Just curious. I'm thinking about some female reproduction stuff that I have learned in the last few years that I feel like I should have known about at a MUCH younger age.


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## ~PurityLake~ (Jul 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AbbieB* 
Another question to those that learned about the vulva/vagina differences when they were adults. Did it piss you off that you had not learned this stuff sooner?

No, it doesn't. Of all the things about my childhood that DOES piss me off, this is not one of them. I certainly had plenty of sex education, but vulva was not a term I was introduced to. All the parts were individually named for me during my education.


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## AbbieB (Mar 21, 2006)

Just thought it might be interesting, I happen to be watching Sex and the City at the moment, and wouldn't you know it it's the episode where Charlotte admits to never looking at her girly bits. Everyone is referring to vagina, not vulva. I think this points pretty strongly to vagina being the mainstream word of choice.









Back to the discussion.

And, because I know someone is thinking it, DD is at my Mom's house this week, and DS is napping. No, the kids are not watching with me.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

I taught my daughter both, and she seemed to understand, but she still says "vagina" for everything. Though she earlier was saying "butt" for everything, which is even less accurate. So I guess there's been an improvement. But once she told me her vagina hurt, and I freaked because I couldn't imagine what could have happened that would hurt her up in there. But I asked her specifically what was going on, and it became apparent that her vulva was uncomfortable due to a lack of wiping after she peed. She knew both words so when she said "vagina" I thought that's what she meant.

Threads about this issue are like "do you force your child to let you brush his/her teeth" threads. No good can come of them! LOL.


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## AuntG (Apr 2, 2007)

I don't think I have ever even used the word vulva. Doesn't vulva just describe everything outside the vagina? The external female parts?

I guess when I was very young it was my pee pee, cause that's all I knew it did at the time.

Later, I could refer specifically to urethra or pee hole or labia or lips and so forth but I've never referred to all of it as vulva.

Am I in trouble now?

And yah, I get what some are saying about being judgemental. I mean, why get so upset over words? Ina May calls it a puss in her midwifery books. She also uses terms like pee hole and button for clitoris. What's the big deal?

Oh you know what, I'm laughing cause I remember telling DH once my vaggy was itching and he asked if I meant the actual vagina or just outside. So, I think most of us know the difference but most of us don't care to be so pedantic all the time about the terminology.


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AuntG* 
Ina May calls it a puss in her midwifery books. She also uses terms like pee hole and button for clitoris. What's the big deal?

See I doubt I would take advice from a book if the author didn't use the proper terms. The same way I wouldn't trust a doctor who didn't use the proper terms.


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## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)

Yep. That is one reason why I can't stand Ina May, and cannot recommend her books to anyone I know because it is so ridiculous and unprofessional.


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## Daphneduck (Jan 22, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *the_lissa* 
Yep. That is one reason why I can't stand Ina May, and cannot recommend her books to anyone I know because it is so ridiculous and unprofessional.

Ditto. I thought that I was the only one.


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## NYCVeg (Jan 31, 2005)

We just use vulva.







I would use vagina as well, but dd doesn't really know she has one yet. Butt is butt, though (or sometimes bottom, if I'm in polite company)--"buttocks" just doesn't sound natural to me.

When dd was smaller, she called dh's penis his "tail," and we had to correct her.









But my favorite story is this. Background: dd has lots of food allergies, and we've explained to her that she'll get tested every year, and she may be able to eat certain food when she gets older.

Dd: Do I have a penis?
Me: No you have a vulva. Boys have a penis.
Dd: But maybe when I get older I can have one.
Me: Um, probably not. (Though, in retrospect, I guess the technology exists if she wants one...)


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AbbieB* 
Another question to those that learned about the vulva/vagina differences when they were adults. Did it piss you off that you had not learned this stuff sooner?

Not really. I always appreciated that my mom was honest and gave me correct info (insofar as she had it), because I knew a lot of people who didn't get that. The fact that she never taught me the word vulva didn't bother me. As I said, it had occurred to me as some point that I, and everyone else I knew, used "vagina" to describe the whole area, but I just assumed it was correct usage (one of those "double duty" situations words end up in). Plus...if there's a word that includes a man's penis _and_ his scrotum, I've never heard it, either.

It _did_ piss me off that our "your body" book in school didn't include a clitoris. Even at a very early age, it seemed really strange that something that caused such intense sensations just didn't exist in the picture...and I kind of wondered if something was wrong with my body.


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
Plus...if there's a word that includes a man's penis _and_ his scrotum, I've never heard it, either.

I was wondering the same thing. Is there such a word, besides just "genitals" (which would work for both sexes)? I wonder why there is for women but not men -- were there just so many female parts that it got too cumbersome and they felt a need to come up with a collective term?


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## tallulahma (Jun 16, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jennifer3141* 
We're a medical family so DH wouldn't tolerate calling them anything other than penis and vulva. Although DD did briefly call it her "privacy" after our discussion about her vulva being her private thing for no one to touch but her, preferably in private.









That mortified my parents a bit but what really gets them is when they pass gas and DS yells, "Granddad, your digestive system is working away in there!"

And last week, my laugh for the day came from DD saying to her brother, "Look! All the testicles have melted from the roof!"

this made me laugh.

my dd asks about a million questions, she knows she has a vulva, and that there is a clitoris, urinary meatus, vagina and labia. lol

im a science/anatomy minded gal, so she gets the truth.

but whenever a boy says, "i have a penis" she says, "i have a vagina" and if you correct her, she says "yeah, but my vagina is in there too, for babies to come through"

because she just had a sibling be born.

so for all those that are so "annoyed" and are "laughing" at us uneducated silly mamas, get over it.

i think that unless you know the mom doesnt teach the proper terms, its quite judgmental to get so uppity.


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## Channelle (May 14, 2008)

I just read this whole post, entertaining and elightening.

Two separate thoughts-
First-Growing up female privates were always called "Pretties". I have no clue where that came from, but I always loved that I had a pretty, and the fact that it was pretty made me very proud of my sex. It was a nice way to think about it. One of the more self-affirming uneducated names for it I think.

Second-In our house, we teach penis and scrotum and vagina and vulva and breasts, but we don't usually call them that. Honestly we just call it the private parts/place or genitals. That usually works just fine in our house. I know if my son went to his teacher and says someone touched me on my privates/genitals, they would know what he was talking about.

One more quick point-not really relevant, but humorous, my mother always referred the penis as a "peter pan", which is what my brother (around 3 at the time) decide to name it. As in "stop playing with your peter pan!"


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## jennchsm (Jun 24, 2008)

When we found out the sex of our son at the 20 week u/s, the technician kept saying "boy parts". I finally told her she had my permission to say "penis", and she looked horribly embarrassed. Of course, my sister's u/s tech called her daughter's vulva a "taco", which is a lot worse IMO!

I always say "penis", but DH seems weirdly averse to using that word. DS spends a lot of time tugging on his penis during diaper changes, and DH gets really flustered by it, LOL.


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## Smokering (Sep 5, 2007)

In theory, I approve of the technical names. In practice, we refer to the baby's 'underparts'.

My sister, who's autistic and comes up with interesting words sometimes, was talking with my mother before DD was born about the birth. Mum asked her if she knew where/how babies were born and she looked rather pained and said "Through the... you know... water feature".

She also referred once to my 'breasty things' (in context of BFing) because she didn't like to say 'breast'.







I don't have a problem with 'breasts' either, but again, in practice we go cutesy and say The Milks, and I have even been known to tell DD 'you have tiny milks!' Bah, when she gets older and can actually _talk_ I'll mend my wicked ways.







When I think about it, DH and I have cutesy words for anything from cockroaches to potatoes - how did we ever think we'd give body parts their correct names??


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## Baby_Vol (Jan 10, 2007)

I can't believe people get all bent out of shape of vagina (esp people who are all mad b/c we don't call it a vulva). Seriously?

Penis and vagina are the names for the "parts" ...maybe not the outside on the female, but as others posted penis is also not the ENTIRE part of the male either. Who freaking cares?

To not recommend Ina May over something so silly is just sad. You are missing out on a lot. I would not have had my natural birth if not for reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. How sad to miss out on that b/c someone is so into being "proper."


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## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)

I am not missing out on anything, thanks. I've read her books. Besides the unprofessional terms, I did not enjoy the books. The people I've recommended her books to in the past cannot get into them because of that. That is a valid criticism and concern.


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## OvenSeeksBun (Sep 11, 2008)

Years ago my mom was shocked when friend's of the family were teaching their son to use the word "penis". Shocked. But I think she's changed her view over the years, which is good because there is no way I am using cutesy nicknames when I have children of my own, and I expect my parents to use the proper terms with my children as well.

ETA: And like the OP said, not everyone uses the same "nickname", so what's more embarassing, saying "penis" and leaving it at that, or saying "goober" and having to explain what exactly a "goober" is because your audience is confused??? The term my parents/grandparents used when I was growing up were totally absurd and nobody outside of our family knew what the heck those words meant.


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## AbbieB (Mar 21, 2006)

Quote:

When we found out the sex of our son at the 20 week u/s, the technician kept saying "boy parts". I finally told her she had my permission to say "penis", and she looked horribly embarrassed. Of course, my sister's u/s tech called her daughter's vulva a "taco", which is a lot worse IMO!
If a medical person referred to my genitals, or my child's, as a taco I would be really upset. That is so totally unprofessional. If a u/s tech is that uncomfortable with proper words at least call it genitals (even boy/girl parts would be OK, although I would snicker about that later) but not some slang term.

I have no problem with all of the euphemisms for genitalia, but for me, a lot of those names are saved for sexy talk with my DH. (Or raunchy talk with friends.) Then there are some that are so juvenile that I would feel like the speaker was being condescending using them in a professional context. (Again, they can be fun in talk with friends.)

I get what folks are saying about Ina May. I read her books and loved them, they were quite empowering as a newly pregnant mother (I have since changed my opinion a bit, but that is for another thread.) But I did not enjoy all of the slang names, and would never use a midwife that felt the need to use them with me. It's just way to sexy for that kind of situation for me.


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AbbieB* 
I get what folks are saying about Ina May. I read her books and loved them, they were quite empowering as a newly pregnant mother (I have since changed my opinion a bit, but that is for another thread.) But I did not enjoy all of the slang names, and would never use a midwife that felt the need to use them with me. It's just way to sexy for that kind of situation for me.

I liked her books for the most part, and was able to get past her use of puss, tits, and taint after a while (although I noticed her later-published books used more scientifically accepted terminology). But where she totally lost me was when she said that women get stretch marks during pregnancy because they're "uptight."







:


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## DogwoodFairy (Jan 11, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jennchsm* 
my sister's u/s tech called her daughter's vulva a "taco", which is a lot worse IMO!

TACO!!!!!!!!







:

Oh, man. I have had more fun reading this thread than prob any other MDC thread. I love the cutesy names children make for themselves, I have to admit. Though there is valid concern about them knowing proper terms. As for the OP's original question, I would be outraged if someone thought it was inappropriate that my son call his penis...a penis. I would also be outraged if he were told it was a "dirty" word, and told to call it...a tally wacker or something else absurd. I mean, how confusing! And when ds needs to know about Mama/girls parts, it will be vulva, not TACO!!!!









As disturbing as I find this, I think its hysterically funny.


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Baby_Vol* 
To not recommend Ina May over something so silly is just sad. You are missing out on a lot. I would not have had my natural birth if not for reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. How sad to miss out on that b/c someone is so into being "proper."

When looking for information on a topic, particularly one as vital as childbirth, I judge based on professionalism and calling the vulva a "puss" and clitoris "a button" is something I would deem unprofessional. I expect a professional to be able to use professional language with me. Just like I wouldn't pick a lawyer to defend me if said lawyer called the gavel "the wooden hammer thing."


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *EnviroBecca* 
Those of you who think the vulva/vagina distinction is very important: Do you also get upset when people say "testicles" when they mean "scrotum"? After all, testicles are just the inside part.

I don't mind people using "vagina" instead of "vulva" until they get smug about using the "proper term" and smirk about how prudish it is to say "crotch" or "girl parts." Or snicker about how superior they are that they made people get shocked when their LO says vagina.

Using vagina so people know what you mean is fine, but if someone's going to get up in arms about using the right terms they'd better actually use the right terms.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jennchsm* 
When we found out the sex of our son at the 20 week u/s, the technician kept saying "boy parts". I finally told her she had my permission to say "penis", and she looked horribly embarrassed. Of course, my sister's u/s tech called her daughter's vulva a "taco", which is a lot worse IMO!

How on earth is her dd ever going to eat at Taco Bell (or other Mexican-esque restaurants)?







What on earth will she think Taco Bell IS???


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## DogwoodFairy (Jan 11, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
How on earth is her dd ever going to eat at Taco Bell (or other Mexican-esque restaurants)?







What on earth will she think Taco Bell IS???











I didnt think of that!!!! South of the border, indeed.







: Okay, I'm getting raunchy, I'll stop. Hoo boy. Just goes to show what happens when we introduce silly words for something so basic and mundane as a vagina, vulva, etc.

Not that I'm above cutesy - my breasts are "nursies"







: & ds's backside are "buns", but thats better than what my ex calls ds's "male parts" - his TEAPOT! As in, when I'd clip ds into his carseat, "Watch out for his teapot"...I HATED this euphemism.


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## storychick (Mar 14, 2006)

I saw this "article" today and this thread was the first thing I thought of:

http://www.theonion.com/content/news...urce=a-section


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## ~PurityLake~ (Jul 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *storychick* 
I saw this "article" today and this thread was the first thing I thought of:

http://www.theonion.com/content/news...urce=a-section









:


----------



## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *storychick* 
I saw this "article" today and this thread was the first thing I thought of:

http://www.theonion.com/content/news...urce=a-section

O. M. G.

Read it out loud!


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## StrawberryFields (Apr 6, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SAHDS* 

Back on topic, I had a friend who called her son's penis a "firehouse". Now that is more embarrassing than saying penis. I don't understand the need to make the words shameful.


Well, I wanted to jump in and say that sometimes a cutesy nickname doesn't mean the parents aren't using the right word! There could be other reasons behind it. We use penis and testicles and vulva, and my kids do too. But my ds can sometimes resist using the potty when he has to go and in order to make it fun and silly I have been known to refer to his penis as his "firehose," encouraging him to hurry hurry hurry and put out the fire in the potty. He is obsessed with everything firefighter! It works!

It does bother me when people use vagina for vulva, to me it seems similar to always saying tongue when you mean mouth. Yes, you have a tongue inside your mouth but your mouth is the whole kit and kaboodle, right? Like you have a vagina inside your vulva but your vulva is the what encompasses it all. You have a clitoris inside your vulva too but you don't go around calling the whole thing a clitoris. I am lucky my mom taught me vulva growing up and am always so surprised that so many people only know and use vagina!


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## Softmama (Jun 10, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *storychick* 
I saw this "article" today and this thread was the first thing I thought of:

http://www.theonion.com/content/news...urce=a-section

OK, I admit it, at the beginning I was really kind of offended, by the end I was laughing out loud


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## mommyto3girls (May 3, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Breeder* 

As for the vagina thing, for me it's more like a lesser of two evils. Females do in fact have a body part known as a vagina (seen or unseen), but no one is walking around with a "cookie" in their underpants... well not a biological one at least.

(Cookie is what a friend of mine uses to refer to her daughter's genitals ... if she worked up to vagina I'd consider it an improvement)

Cookie was also the word that a friend of mine was taught to use as a child. She said one day in the begining of kindergarten a little girl stood up at lunch and yelled "Johnny keeps trying to bite my cookie!" she was mortified until she realized that the girl had an actual cookie for dessert and the boy was trying to steal it.


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## mamarhu (Sep 12, 2004)

My foster daughter has a history of horrendous sexual abuse. I attend specialized therapy with her, and was astounded that the therapist uses avoidant terms, from "personal parts" to "girl or boy bits".


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## uptowngirl (Jun 9, 2008)

I have found it MUCH easier to talk to the children using proper terms. they are more likely to ask me questions using the "terms" and I have found it easier to talk about childbirth. My mother whispered the term "bottom" for everything....and my poor brother's penis was a T-T'er. We were shamed for even uttering any proper words.


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## Learning_Mum (Jan 5, 2007)

Personally I prefer to use the term vagina because it seems more specific to the parts between your legs.

Do people who use the term vulva realise that it encompasses the mons pubis as well. So it covers basically anywhere that hair grows.

To me teaching a girl to say vulva could cause confusion if (god forbid!) there was a question of inappropriate touching. A girl saying that someone 'touched her vulva' could mean that some boy tried to punch her in the stomach and hit a little low. If the girl however said 'touched my vagina' then you're aware the touching is going on between the legs.

I don't know. Vulva may mean the labia majora, labia minora, clitoris, urethra, vagina etc etc but honestly it sounds a little too vague for me. It's like saying I've hurt my limb. Doesn't really narrow down where was hurt, could be arm or leg, thigh or calf.

And yes I do understand that the vagina is only the internal part, but if you actually 'feel around' down there the vaginal opening does 'take up most of the space'. Seems to me a child would be better learning vagina and then expanding on everything when they understand anatomy more than worrying about it when they're 2yo.

ETA: Maybe we'd be better off teaching kids about vaginal openings rather than vaginas?


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## ~PurityLake~ (Jul 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Learning_Mum* 
Do people who use the term vulva realize that it encompasses the mons pubis as well.

yes.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Learning_Mum* 
So it covers basically anywhere that hair grows.

Only the mons pubis would have hair growing on it, eventually, and the labia, not the whole vulva. Besides that, what does hair have to do with it?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Learning_Mum* 
It's like saying I've hurt my limb. Doesn't really narrow down where was hurt, could be arm or leg, thigh or calf.

No, it's not the same, because most females have four limbs and only one vulva.


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## Learning_Mum (Jan 5, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 
yes.

Only the mons pubis would have hair growing on it, eventually, and the labia, not the whole vulva. Besides that, what does hair have to do with it?

No, it's not the same, because most females have four limbs and only one vulva.

The hair comment was suppose to give a visual illustration as to what a large area the word vulva actually covers.


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## TortelliniMama (Mar 11, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Learning_Mum* 
To me teaching a girl to say vulva could cause confusion if (god forbid!) there was a question of inappropriate touching. A girl saying that someone 'touched her vulva' could mean that some boy tried to punch her in the stomach and hit a little low. If the girl however said 'touched my vagina' then you're aware the touching is going on between the legs.

I'm not really grasping the idea of teaching an incorrect term in order to avoid confusion.







If a child says someone 'touched her vulva,' that should be looked into (if only to teach that other child not to try and punch other kids in the stomach). I think that a much more problematic scenario would be a defense attorney showing that a child who is saying "he touched my vagina" is then indicating an external area on an anatomically correct doll. Discrediting witnesses can certainly help a defense case.

Quote:

I don't know. Vulva may mean the labia majora, labia minora, clitoris, urethra, vagina etc etc but honestly it sounds a little too vague for me. It's like saying I've hurt my limb. Doesn't really narrow down where was hurt, could be arm or leg, thigh or calf.
So, instead, you would prefer "I hurt my ankle," when in fact it was the knee? More precise, yes, but precision doesn't mean much without accuracy.

Besides, I think "vulva" is more similar to "leg" than "limb," while "vagina" would be similar to "ankle."

Quote:

And yes I do understand that the vagina is only the internal part, but if you actually 'feel around' down there the vaginal opening does 'take up most of the space'.
Obviously everyone's body is different, but I wouldn't say that's true for me. Unless you mean while a baby's crowning.


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## kimmypoo (Mar 6, 2009)

I didn't know it what female parts were called until 5th grade when one of my friends made a comment about a vagina and she had to explain it to me. I thought she was pulling my leg! I didn't even think it had a name until then!

I have a question though. What is the proper term for belly? It's not stomach, b/c a stomach is an internal organ, right?


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kimmypoo* 
I didn't know it what female parts were called until 5th grade when one of my friends made a comment about a vagina and she had to explain it to me. I thought she was pulling my leg! I didn't even think it had a name until then!

I have a question though. What is the proper term for belly? It's not stomach, b/c a stomach is an internal organ, right?

Proper term for belly is "abdomen". Stomach is an internal organ.


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## Learning_Mum (Jan 5, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TortelliniMama* 
I'm not really grasping the idea of teaching an incorrect term in order to avoid confusion.







If a child says someone 'touched her vulva,' that should be looked into (if only to teach that other child not to try and punch other kids in the stomach). I think that a much more problematic scenario would be a defense attorney showing that a child who is saying "he touched my vagina" is then indicating an external area on an anatomically correct doll. Discrediting witnesses can certainly help a defense case.

So, instead, you would prefer "I hurt my ankle," when in fact it was the knee? More precise, yes, but precision doesn't mean much without accuracy.

Besides, I think "vulva" is more similar to "leg" than "limb," while "vagina" would be similar to "ankle."

Obviously everyone's body is different, but I wouldn't say that's true for me. Unless you mean while a baby's crowning.









Unfortunately I haven't had the experience of a baby crowning, but I'm assuming it's safe to say your vagina would at that point take up alot of room!


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## MayBaby2007 (Feb 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *storychick* 
I saw this "article" today and this thread was the first thing I thought of:

http://www.theonion.com/content/news...urce=a-section

That article was truly disgusting and completely offensive. What year is this?







:

All the talk about limbs/ankels/knees vs. vagina/vulva?

NONE of the adult woman (all with children) in my life knew what a vulva was. Not a single one of them--my gramma, mom, 4 female co workers and 2 girlfriends. Chances are, most of the population doesn't know what it means. It's safe to say that my daughters teacher or principal or one of my girlfriends will know what "vagina" means if my daughter goes to them with a problem.

Making sure my daughter's voice is heard is much more important than all the correct terminology. I will teach her all the correct parts, sure. But for now, we're sticking with vagina. I will, however, instruct her to refer to the whole area as "vagina" when she's older....to be sure her voice is heard, if she needs to be.


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## Breeder (May 28, 2006)

The "article" is from The Onion, which is a joke publication (think the Daily Show of newspapers). The posting was to poke fun at people being unable to say the words "vulva", "vagina", "genitals" etc etc etc.

If you understood that and still thought it was offensive, I apologize.


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## trancechylde (Apr 14, 2008)

Quote:

Relax everyone. Take a deep breath. It's gonna be okay
laughup

Yes. This.


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## MayBaby2007 (Feb 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Breeder* 
The "article" is from The Onion, which is a joke publication (think the Daily Show of newspapers). The posting was to poke fun at people being unable to say the words "vulva", "vagina", "genitals" etc etc etc.

If you understood that and still thought it was offensive, I apologize.

Oooooooh.







Didn't know anything about The Onion.


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## Mizelenius (Mar 22, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *storychick* 
I saw this "article" today and this thread was the first thing I thought of:

http://www.theonion.com/content/news...urce=a-section

I saw this (I'm a "fan" on FB so I get the updates). HILARIOUS!


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Learning_Mum* 
The hair comment was suppose to give a visual illustration as to what a large area the word vulva actually covers.









Yep! All the genitalia. Which is a much harder word to say, imo.

Oh! Just figured out why there isn't really a technical word for the penis and scrotum, they aren't encompassed by other skin like the clitoris, urethra, vagina and labia minora are encompassed by the labia majora and mons pubis.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Oh, and Lina's going to be taught about her vagina too, so she will be able to talk about it if anything affects it, but I certainly hope that the only touching it gets until she's an adult is her own washed fingers.


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## ~PurityLake~ (Jul 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
Proper term for belly is "abdomen". Stomach is an internal organ.

Speaking of which, does anyone else wince when they hear someone tell a child that the adult has a baby growing in her stomach?


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 
Speaking of which, does anyone else wince when they hear someone tell a child that the adult has a baby growing in her stomach?

Not until reading this post.


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## ernalala (Mar 30, 2008)

Great thread







.

Anyone thought of 'toolbox' for boys and 'fruitbasket' for girls; just brainstorming on genitalianaming









When I translate all the terms offered here to my mothertongue, it gets totally, unbelievably hilarious!







:


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## Breeder (May 28, 2006)

I've heard of "fruitbasket" for male's sex organs (Penis and scrotum)... the only other all encompassing nickname (other than junk) I've hear for men was "The Goat"







:







:


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## gingerbane (Jun 10, 2007)

I just came to the end of this thread after working through it for the past three days. I'm a little sad that it's over.


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## MayBaby2007 (Feb 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gingerbane* 
I just came to the end of this thread after working through it for the past three days. I'm a little sad that it's over.

Who says it's over? This topic will never end. If this thread dies, another will be built. And if you build it....


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## hippiemum21580 (Jul 14, 2007)

I do home daycare and one of the mothers ctually informed me she does not allow her children (a toddler boy and 2 girls ages 4 and 8) to say penis and vulva. She informeed me (with a straight face, mind you) That her children were to call the female parts "hoo-hoos" and the male parts "tallywacker".
And as for people who get embarassed by thier children possibly announcing in public "My daddy has a penis!" (etc..) I am PRETTY sure that the general public is already well aware of that fact. So, what's the big deal?


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## NYCVeg (Jan 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hippiemum21580* 
She informeed me (with a straight face, mind you) That her children were to call the female parts "hoo-hoos" and the male parts "tallywacker".

O. M. G.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hippiemum21580* 
I do home daycare and one of the mothers ctually informed me she does not allow her children (a toddler boy and 2 girls ages 4 and 8) to say penis and vulva. She informeed me (with a straight face, mind you) That her children were to call the female parts "hoo-hoos" and the male parts "tallywacker".
And as for people who get embarassed by thier children possibly announcing in public "My daddy has a penis!" (etc..) I am PRETTY sure that the general public is already well aware of that fact. So, what's the big deal?

I don't mind that. DS1 did once make a public announcement about how his mommy and daddy made him. I'm well aware that the adults around me knew where babies come from...but I still turned crimson, and I'll freely admit it.

OTOH, I would personally be _far_ less embarrassed by having dd announce proudly that she has a vagina, than by having her publicly state, "I have a hoo-hoo". OMG. _That_ would be embarrassing.

I really don't care if people want to use the cutesy terms, although I don't really understand it, especially when they actually make something up. I just don't get when they don't even want their kids to _know_ the proper terms. It seems so weird to me.

re: the baby in the stomach thing. I'm afraid I do say "the baby in my tummy". I don't even know why. DD knows all about the uterus, the placenta, the umbilical cord, etc. etc. (studied models at my midwife's place when I was pregnant with Aaron, among other sources of info, including lots of conversations), but we still seem to default back to "in my tummy". DS2 doesn't know as much as dd, but he does know the baby isn't really growing in my stomach, yk? I guess it's because it's my tummy that's so huge. I don't think I've ever actually said "in my stomach", though...I use "tummy" and "belly" for the abdomen, not the stomach.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
I don't think I've ever actually said "in my stomach", though...I use "tummy" and "belly" for the abdomen, not the stomach.

A tummy/belly is not a stomach. It's the abdomen. All your internal organs, including your uterus and the baby inside that, are in your belly.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
A tummy/belly is not a stomach. It's the abdomen. All your internal organs, including your uterus and the baby inside that, are in your belly.

True. I think a lot of people use belly and tummy for their stomach, too, though. I'm sure ds2 does. However, he is only 3.5, and he still gets a little confused about internal organs vs. the parts he can actually _see_.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

The chorus of this song reminds me of this thread.


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## onelilguysmommy (May 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CaraboosMama* 
I don't understand why anyone would be offended by the names of body parts - a penis is a body part, an elbow is a body part, a forhead is a body part, etc. They need to get over themselves!

yep!

my then 9yo brother yelled at my then 3yo son because he said "peenie" (he knows penis, he likes peenie and at least thats closer lol). "(MY name) HE SAID THAT P WORD!!" I was like..okay??
"but thats a bad word, Im not allowed to say it. he cant say that!"
and so i said
"its a freakin body part, whats your problem?"
"its a bad word for the body parts!"
so i said" fine, youre not ever allowed to say arm around me or my kids. ever."
he looked at me like i was crazy but then i said "see, stupid not to call a body part a body part, isnt it?"

geez..

and EVERYTHING is a weewee to him. plus guess what urine is called?
i asked him one day how it doesnt freak him out that his stuff is falling off when he goes to the bathroom since its all the same thing, right? and he thought about it and looked horrified









i used to yell at their dad for saying nuts balls in high school. theyre not balls, theyre more oblong than round! and where in the heck did nuts come from?!? it seriously used to drive me crazy







. i was like " you have TESTICLES [email protected] it!" ( i was a little umm..loud about my thoughts then and he kept going on and on with it laughing at me :rollingeyes









my now 4yo knows how babies come out, and where they come FROM. he was standing next to me when i had my daughter a few weeks ago (no he didnt see anything but her for the people that would have issues with that, i was upright) he said "the babys coming out of your vulva!" when i was busy pushing







then called my mom and told her the same thing. ive had many conversations about vulvas before having my nb daughter than i thought having 2 boys lol


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## onelilguysmommy (May 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamarhu* 
My foster daughter has a history of horrendous sexual abuse. I attend specialized therapy with her, and was astounded that the therapist uses avoidant terms, from "personal parts" to "girl or boy bits".

see, in group classes for this as a 5 and 6yo is where i learned what the right terms WERE (well except the vulva/vagina thing... we were told vagina.). thats interesting for sure!


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## Agatha_Ann (Apr 5, 2009)

I don't know what this means, but my family growing up only used proper terms for everything and those words were never considered shameful or inappropriate to use. However, as an adult, in reference to myself, I seriously can't say any of the words. I say my dainties, my lovelies, my hmm hmm, my girlies, my specials, on and on. When my kids have asked what things are called on themselves I answer them correctly and I have no problem saying penis or scrotum. It only seems to be with my own body? I'm really embarrassed to say that once one of my boys pointed to me when I was dressing and asked what "That is" and I responded "Thats mine".







That was awful of me. I even use "down there" when talking to my OB/GYN.

My husband thinks maybe it stems from overall body image issues or maybe that the act of sex was so sheltered from me as a child? Maybe because those areas were so private that I feel wrong talking about them? I don't know. My parents were very open with them terms for body parts, but they NEVER told us you did THAT with them, go figure. Even growing up on a ranch I remember watching the bulls "put a calf in the mommies" but it never dawned on me that that would somehow translate to humans
















Anyway, I know I am an extreme example, but I just wanted to say proper terms as a child don't always stick with everyone.


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