# Tandem Nursing Tribe



## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

Is there already a tandem tribe? Anyone interested in seeing one if there isn't already one? I am...!









I've only been tandem nursing for the past five weeks but boy, this is a whole new ballgame! Before her brother was born my dd (31 mo) was down to nursing when she woke up, when/if she went down for a nap, and briefly at bedtime. She's nursing more than the newborn now. Including during the night. :yawning: And she's quite demanding about it at times. Full on tantrums if she has to wait. In any case, it's been well worth it so far; I'm glad she didn't wean during my pregnancy.


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

Anyone?


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## timneh_mom (Jun 13, 2005)

I'm nursing while pregnant... hope to tandem in February!! May I join?

I have heard what your toddler is doing is totally normal... maybe things will settle in the next couple of months? How did you get through pregnancy? I'm 14 weeks and have pretty much no milk now, hoping to get colostrum kind of early like I did last time.


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

Oh thank goodness, there is someone out there! YES! Of course you may join me. Hopefully there will be more of us soon.

My milk dried up pretty early in my pregnancy and my colostrum didn't come back until about 8 months. DD didn't seem to notice, or care. I did have some nipple discomfort but I kind of just pushed through it until it subsided. Are you experiencing any discomfort? How frequently does your nursling nurse?

Glad to have you here!


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## HelloKitty (Apr 1, 2004)

I belong here too! Tandem nursing my 3 1/2 year old and 17 month old. I went through the same thing when my youngest was born, the toddler wanted to nurse non-stop.

Now they are both at the equally jealous stage - if one nurses the other one wants to. It can be exasperating! Although at night or nap time it's awesome because it's the easiest way to get them both to sleep.


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## timneh_mom (Jun 13, 2005)

I haven't had that much breast pain at all, not like my first pg!! I have some fairly bad nipple pain when he first latches on, but after that, there really isn't any pain unless his latch is too shallow.

DS nursed 3 times today, but some days he nurses about 5 times... mainly at bedtime/naptime and first thing in the morning... and he usually asks a couple of other times per day, depending on how much we're out and about. The more we're home, the more he asks.

Thanks for having me







I guess you could say I'm tandeming already, because the Bean nurses 24/7!


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## scorch_dc (Jul 31, 2005)

Hello!

I am tandem nursing - have been for about 21 months now. My 2 sons are 20 months apart, I nursed through pregnancy and then tandem when new bb came and haven't stopped since!







Definitely is a different experience than with just 1!

Denise


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## damyen's mommy (May 5, 2005)

Hi!! I am tandeming my 32 month old and 6 month old. At first my ds was nursing more than the newborn but it did level off. He now nurses 3 times a day. Morning. nap and bedtime. There are times it drives me nuts. But when I see that happy little faces it makes my heart melt.


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## wendy1221 (Feb 9, 2004)

Tandeming here. Ds2 will be 3 next month, and ds3 will be 1 next month. They are 6 days short of being exactly 2 years apart, in case you're wondering. LOL

They are going through the jealousy stage already, as well. Ds3 is trying to grow up really fast to be like his big brothers. He's been throwing toddler style tantrums for the last 2 months as well.









Tandem nursing sucks most of the time, IMO, but when it's good, it more than makes up for the suckiness the rest of the time. If that makes any sense. lol. I can't imagine forcing my 2 yo to wean yet, so I persevere. I don't mind nursing them separaetely, but I'm sick of nursing at the same time and one after the other, which has been happening way too much w/ this jealousy thing. grrr!


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## broodymama (May 3, 2004)

count me in!







time to put my toddler to bed now but i'm glad to see this tribe!


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

Yay! Glad to see more people here.







At my local LLL meeting there was one only one mom who had ever tandem nursed and her older one weaned ages ago. She told me to buy Adventures In Tandem Nursing (I ordered it; it hasn't arrived yet) but I want someone to commiserate and share with!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *damyen's mommy*
At first my ds was nursing more than the newborn but it did level off.

That's good to hear...I just wonder _when_ it's going to happen!









Quote:


Originally Posted by *damyen's mommy*
But when I see that happy little faces it makes my heart melt.


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

Hey Sonja!


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## ruthieroo (Aug 5, 2005)

Subbing! I will be tandem nursing once baby number two is born in October.







My son is 16 months old and still nursing. I'm making lots of colostrum and my milk never fully dried up anyway so nursing while pregnant hasn't been bad at all. Just recently I'm more touched out but that's due mostly to the fact that he is teethign and wants to nurse ALL. THE. TIME.







:

But yay, I'm glad to see a tandem tribe!!


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## broodymama (May 3, 2004)

nak, of course

hey celeste!









liz - my supply dropped during pregnancy but didn't go away completely. around 10-12 weeks i noticed my milk was very salty. (another mom on here mentioned something about it so i tried mine and it was salty too.) ds didn't seem to mind, though. he still nursed a lot but also started drinking more water, he was about 16 months. by 20 weeks i couldn't express even a drop but i still had milk, as i found out when ds came down with rotavirus and would only nurse. about 24 weeks my colostrum came in.

ugh, today has been the longest day. i ate a lot of soy yesterday (i eliminated dairy) and now dd is reacting to the soy even worse than the dairy. poor little thing has been screaming all night.







*sigh*


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LadyBug & BabyBug*
ugh, today has been the longest day. i ate a lot of soy yesterday (i eliminated dairy) and now dd is reacting to the soy even worse than the dairy. poor little thing has been screaming all night.







*sigh*

We went through the same thing today. I eliminated dairy about 6 weeks before DS was born but he seems to be reacting to something else in my diet. I too had soy yesterday, maybe that's what it is. I went through this with Miss P but she was able to tolerate dairy through my breastmilk by about 9 months.


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## KittyMommy (Mar 21, 2004)

Joining in! I am tandeming my two: DS is 3.5 yo (4 in Dec) and DD is 22 mos. Both are still very active nursers, though DS can now accept "wait until after lunch" or "wait until sister is done" much better than before!

wendy1221...mine are 22 mos apart and things have been getting better all the time starting not long after DD turned one. I HATED tandeming for much of the first year (there were some wonderful moments, but...) and now I am actually enjoying it more often than not!

Jen


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## broodymama (May 3, 2004)

Celeste - we went through this with DS also, so I'm not too surprised. I was just really, really hoping that it wouldn't bother her. DS outgrew it around 16 months.

Jen - mine are also 22 months apart and right now I feel like I'll never be able to get it together, dealing with both of them. DD is 3.5 weeks and DS is 23 months. How long did it take you to feel like you had a handle on things?


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## Sailmom (Sep 23, 2004)

I am planning on tandem nursing as soon as this babe comes (due any day now). DD turned 2 on July 31 and really was/is down to nursing 1-2 times a day and sometimes skips a day here and there. I really thought she would wean during this pregnancy, but she has not. I bought "Adventures in Tandem Nursing" early in this pregnancy in preparation for this, and I think it will be a valuable resourse. I have tried to prepare dd for sharing the "guk" as she calls it. She often insists I nurse her bears and dolls, so maybe it won't be a jeolousy thing. She also says things like "Baby needs to come OUT and wear pretty diapers and drink lots of GUK!"


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## timneh_mom (Jun 13, 2005)

Sonja, my milk is salty too! It's so weird. DS doesn't seem to care though... I'm 14 weeks now and just this morning he unlatched and had milky drool on his face! I didn't think I was making much of anything (especially on that one side) but apparently he can get more out than I can.


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## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)

I'm kinda tandem nursing my week old and 29 month old. My 29 month old will only nurse every couple days for a few minutes though.

I am trying to encourage her to nurse more. I am really sad at the prospect of her weaning.


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## turtlemama77 (Jul 29, 2005)

Tandeming here also with a 4 week old and a 19 month old. Things have been challenging, but I think it would have been worse had I weaned dd before ds was born.

We finally figured out a position in which both babes can nurse. It involves dd standing on a little step stool and leaning over the arm of our chair! But it's better than listening to dd hollar or having her hit/pinch me or throw things at the baby.

Anyway, glad to see you all!


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## KittyMommy (Mar 21, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LadyBug & BabyBug*
Jen - mine are also 22 months apart and right now I feel like I'll never be able to get it together, dealing with both of them. DD is 3.5 weeks and DS is 23 months. How long did it take you to feel like you had a handle on things?

Well, it took a LONG time, but there were mitigating factors. DH started a new job in another state when DD was 5 mos, so he was gone Sunday afternoon until Friday evening, so I was essentially a single mom during the week for about 5 months and no family near by. Plus, he was doing interviews and things were very unsettled even before he took the job. I didn't really feel like I had ANYTHING together for most of DD's first year...not coincidentially, her birthday was about 6 weeks after the kids and I got moved to live with DH again. Between DS being in a tizzy with daddy coming and going and all the stress for all of us, it was a crazy time!

Also, DS was still a LOUSY sleeper when DD was born. Most nights were: nurse DD to sleep, then while I tried to get comfy, DS would wake up and need to nurse back to sleep, I'd sleep maybe 45 min or 1 hr and then DD would wake and the process would start over again. This was at its worst when DD was around 6-8 mos since DH was gone. If I could have given the kids and a bottle or two of BM to someone for maybe three hours for a nap every couple of days, things would have been SO MUCH better!


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## AnnesMoM (Jun 19, 2005)

I will be tandem nursing in October. I have no one to talk to







My dd (24 months) is down to 3 sessions a day, but she is VERY in love w/ 'na-na's so I can see her trying to nurse like a newborn again.


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## timneh_mom (Jun 13, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AnnesMoM*
I will be tandem nursing in October. I have no one to talk to







My dd (24 months) is down to 3 sessions a day, but she is VERY in love w/ 'na-na's so I can see her trying to nurse like a newborn again.

Do you have La Leche League meetings in your area? LOTS of moms I know from LLL have tandemed! Of course the computer is nice too but sometimes it helps to know someone IRL!


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## beautyful (Oct 30, 2003)

Tandeming my girls who will be 29mo and 1mo tomorrow.







It's challenging, but I know it will pay off. The hardest part for me is naptimes right now. My toddler still has to nurse to sleep, and it's hard to balance the 20+ minutes she wants to nurse with taking care of my newborn.

Along with the toddler nursing like a newborn, has anybody noticed a solids-strike with their toddlers? She's almost exclusively breastfeeding again.


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## broodymama (May 3, 2004)

KittyMommy (love the username, btw!) - i expect it will take me a while too. dh is in the navy and getting ready to go to sea for several months.







these next few months are going to be tough on all of us.

Steph - my ds isn't cutting back on solids but he has definitely upped his nursing, he is nursing a ton!


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## kaylas mama (Nov 13, 2004)

Hi there mommies!

Count me in...I'll be tandem nursing (God willing) when the baby comes in January. DD nurses the same as I've read on this post-more when we stay home, and always at nap and nightimes. She's eating WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY more (WOW) than she ever has and drinking lots more too. Experiencing lots of nipple pain when she nurses. Sometimes unbearable. And also lots of irritablility on my part too. Just touched out most of the time. I can only imagine what it will be like when I have two nursing.









My milk has dried up a lot. It started at about 14 weeks. (I'm now 17.) Kayla will say "empty!" or "just a little" when I ask if there's any milk inside. But, she still likes to suck! I just don't see her stopping.

Anyway, hi all! Glad to know I'm not alone....


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## eightyferrettoes (May 22, 2005)

Getting ready to tandem any day here!

My son would probably nurse a billion times a day if I'd let him. He's always "feeling the milkies" for comfort, or he'll bury his head in between them if he's upset.







But we're down to a couple of nursings a day now-- sometimes a whole day will pass without him nursing, depending on how busy we've been. It just all really depends.

I, too, need to get off my butt and find a copy of *Adventures in Tandem Nursing* There's an LLL chapter here with a couple of tandem-experienced moms I should probably talk to about it, too.

Mostly I'm just waiting to see what happens. I'm a little worried about how he'll feel about seeing his mama nurse "some other baby." He's a wee bit possessive about me HOLDING other kids, let along getting "his" boobs!

I certainly never dreamed I'd be one of those tandem-nursing crunchy-granola types.







y Good to see y'all!


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

Welcome to all the mamas who will be tandem nursing soon! Hopefully some of the more experienced tandem-ers (







) will have advice for us newbies!







:


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eightyferrettoes*
I certainly never dreamed I'd be one of those tandem-nursing crunchy-granola types.







y Good to see y'all!

















No kidding, eh?


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## tireesix (Apr 27, 2006)

I am tandeming my 8 mth old and 2 year old. There is 19ish months between them. DD2 had severe colic for the first 5 months of her life and DD1 has been a handful too........... Only now do I have some sort of handle on things and it doesn't feel that stable but we are all alive so can't be doing to badly!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hugs to you all!


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## paxye (Mar 31, 2005)

Hi everyone!
I am here too...

I am Tandeming my 4 yo ds, my almost 2 yo (will be 2 on Sept 2) and I am pregnant with #3 due for Nov.

At the end of my pregnancy wih ds#2, ds#1 was nursing about 1-2X a day and then nursed like a newborn when ds#2 was born... it lasted a few weeks and then he went back to his 1-2X a day....
This pregnancy he hasn't changed his nursing habits at all... Ds#2 nursed a bit more when I got pregnant and he has slowly been nursing less... My milk is now more colustrum then mature milk and he is **** nursing 5-6 X a day....

I really think that neither of them is going to quit before babe #3 gets here... and I really hope they don't because I want them to self-wean (not wean due to pregnancy)...

So, anyways, I am pretty sure that I will be Triandem nursing soon...


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## jillmamma (Apr 11, 2005)

Another tandem mama here!









I am nursing Matthew who is 3y8m and Michelle who is 11.5m. It has definitely been worth it for me as well. Matthew just turned 2 when I got pg with Michelle, so he was still nursing several times a day. He was down to 3 times a day just before she was born, and then picked back up (including wanting more milk than solids) for a few months, and then tapered back down. Now he is down to mainly mornings and nights, with an occasional extra session during the day.

What I have found interesting is how DIFFERENT my two nurslings are! Matthew could have stayed latched on (and almost still would) 24/7 if I would have let him, but Michelle is definitely more the nurse because I am hungry, and then I am done type (then she wants her thumb







).

If I nurse them together, I have found the couch works best. I get the baby latched on on one side (either cradle or sometimes football hold), then have the big guy sit next to me and latch himself on. Amazing how much those nipples can stretch sometimes!









I am excited to be saying I have been nursing over 3.5 years, and tandem nursing for almost a full year!


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

I'm nursing through pregnancy and planning to tandemn in February.
My babe is 8 months old so if he weaned it would be to formula.


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

Hi Tandem mama's and soon to be tandem mama's!

Celeste, i got this link from your sig in birth announcements (great job with that by the way). thanks for starting this thread. there is another tandem thread in lactivism, but it gets buried so easy...that thread used to be over here. i'll go post a link to this thread. i think tandem deserves it's own forum!

Tandem has been a blessing to my family. I don't know what i would have done without 2 boobs (and i realized why we don't have 3)! I'm going on 5 years tandeming non-stop next tues, through 3 pregnancy's. With each child some things are the same, but the variations are still there, just like each breastfeeding relationship is different with each child.

My dd is 28 mos and she's not eating anything (cept bm) now that the new baby is here. I expected this, but it's still overwhelming at times. I do know the the bm is far better then any food! She's not jealous of the baby, or possesive of her "ninners", she just wants to be included. She's nursing all the time except during the night...thank goodness for that!
She'll be into exclusive bm for the next few months. I figure she'll start tapering off between halloween and thanksgiving....maybe.

I can never decide what the rediscovery is about...is it the abundant, delicious milk supply? (and i have the experts opinion that bm is better than icecream) is it adjustment to the new baby and all that entails? or was their natural cycle interupted by the pregnancy so they are getting back into that? I would think it's a combo of all and i keep that in mind when i start to feel aggitated by my dd's constant need. It helps keep things in perspective.

As for getting the hang of tandem nursing, just remember how long it took to get adjusted to nursing the first born. And think about parts of that that came easier with the 2nd. And then think how you would be taking care of that first one without nursing. It would still be a rough beginning.

Happy Tandeming, Mama's!


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## beautyful (Oct 30, 2003)

kirstie - thank you SO much.. you have really reassured me.







I was getting nervous that the exclusive bm was abnormal (since I only know one other tandem mama, and she's in the process of moving right now







) And I do try and remind myself that I'd be having to find other ways to meet needs to replace what has worked so well for the last 29 months if I weren't still nursing. (Because I've been tempted to wean a few times now.)

Jill - my two are the same way so far! Adia loves to nurse for food AND comfort. Francesca's more of the "eating and nothing else" type.







It's really strange! And we use the same position when they're both eating.. on the couch with F in cradle hold and A stretching the nipple farther than any part of the human body should possibly stretch.


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## timneh_mom (Jun 13, 2005)

OHH!! I think having our own forum (or at least sub forum) would be wonderful!! How can we go about petitioning for that?


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

Kirstie, I felt it in our DDC and still feel it now: you are my breastfeeding hero. Your attitude is simply awesome.


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## damyen's mommy (May 5, 2005)

Kristy you are awesome an inspiring. There are days when I want to wean the older nursling. Actualy I finally figured out I have to drink a ton of water, so mommas drink a lot of water, for some reason it helps a lot to,,,,, um....I lost my train of thought







: , nak. It helps sensation wise. I too never figured on being a crunchy granola tandemer (he he







) When I had ds I figured on nursing a month, then it became 6 months then 1 year then two years, my dd was a surprise I never wanted to tandemn or nurse through pregnancy but ds needed it so much an he seemed so young I just kept going. I think for me when I lost the milk it was the worsed But now everything is balancing out. I have to admit after about 6-8 weeks I put a limit on ds nursing,







: I had too. On days that he isn't feeling himself I will nurse more but for my own sanity I limited him. I did it very slowly, he is slow to warm up child, so I just started distracting him when dd nursed so they wouldn't do it together every time. Now they do three times a day so that is ok. Gotta run, glad to see this tribe. I don't know any one personally who did this, the oldest nursling I have met is my son


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## momsmyjob (Oct 7, 2003)

thank you Kirstie..whew I am overwhelmed...ds 19 mos old wants to nurse every time I nurse the babe and sometimes I just want to nurse the baby alone. He still continues to nurse at night too, both of them.


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## jillmamma (Apr 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *damyen's mommy*
I too never figured on being a crunchy granola tandemer (he he







) When I had ds I figured on nursing a month, then it became 6 months then 1 year then two years, my dd was a surprise I never wanted to tandemn or nurse through pregnancy but ds needed it so much an he seemed so young I just kept going. I think for me when I lost the milk it was the worsed But now everything is balancing out.

Isn't it funny how before we had kids we never would have DREAMED of doing this, but now things have just evolved as our kids and ourselves have grown, and it seems so natural now? Being a mom sure is a trip, isn't it?!


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

thanks Celeste and Rose.









Quote:

Actualy I finally figured out I have to drink a ton of water, so mommas drink a lot of water, for some reason it helps a lot to,,,,, um....I lost my train of thought , nak. It helps sensation wise








: that's my cue that i'm getting dehydrated...sore nipples/yukky sensation while nursing. A large glass of water cures that instantly. this is non preg...doesn't always seem to work when preg.

Mary,







nursing 2 during the night. my first 2 are 16 mos apart and they tandem night nursed for a long time. i hope you can treat yourself to a nap.

Beautyful, not only is the food strike normal, but your older nursling might look a little fuller in the face. i bet they are getting a jump start on staying healthy this winter!


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## jillmamma (Apr 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kirstie*
Beautyful, not only is the food strike normal, but your older nursling might look a little fuller in the face. i bet they are getting a jump start on staying healthy this winter!









:

Right after DD was born, DS put on about 3-4 extra lbs in a few months from having a lot more milk as well and eating less solid foods. Now that DD is almost one, he has really slimmed back down again (grown a couple more inches in height, but stayed about the same weight) and is eating more solid foods.


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

That milk is amazing. My (now) 26 pound toddler has put on 2 pounds in the last 6 weeks since her brother was born! She's eating a big meal about every three days now, nibbling & nursing the rest of the time (including 2x at night.) :yawning:


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## KittyMommy (Mar 21, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Still_Snarky*
That milk is amazing. My (now) 26 pound toddler has put on 2 pounds in the last 6 weeks since her brother was born! She's eating a big meal about every three days now, nibbling & nursing the rest of the time (including 2x at night.) :yawning:

That's exactly what Bug did after Bean was born! Now that Bean is about the age that Bug was when she was born, I am constantly amazed at how chubby she is! Bug was just so much skinnier at this age with my low "nummy" supply while I was pg.

jillmamma...you DS is just one day older than my DS (12/16/02)!


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## KittyMommy (Mar 21, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *paxye*
I really think that neither of them is going to quit before babe #3 gets here... and I really hope they don't because I want them to self-wean (not wean due to pregnancy)...

So, anyways, I am pretty sure that I will be Triandem nursing soon...

OMG!







I would love to have #3, but I just can't imagine how with only two boobs!! Anyway, DH is still undecided about #3, so there isn't a rush...


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## broodymama (May 3, 2004)

nak, of course









for me, tandeming was easier than nursing through the last month of my pregnancy. at the end i was getting the irritated, skeevy, gonna-crawl-out-of-my-skin feelings whenever ds nursed. it didn't even feel like nursing, it just felt like someone sucking on my nipple (which i hate!). things got a LOT better after dd was born, the icky feelings went away and i love nursing my sweet little boy again.









plus, it's great to hear him say "mmmm!" every time he nurses! he's thrilled to have that full, sweet newborn milk.


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

nak









Can anyone tell me why the toddler doesn't get thrush even when the babe has it?


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

Are you sure the baby doesn't just have milktongue? My newbies get a coating of milk residue on their tongues for a few weeks...until they learn to scrap it off when the discover they have a tongue. Scraping it off by sticking out their tongues and letting the tongue scrap against the gumline.

Quote:

plus, it's great to hear him say "mmmm!" every time he nurses! he's thrilled to have that full, sweet newborn milk.
makes it all worth it!


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

Nope, it was definately thrush. I have the flaming pink nipples to prove it!







But really, my midwife and doula both confirmed it. Gentian violet cleared it right up. DD never seemed to get it though and ds and I have had two bouts.


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## bigislandmama (Apr 13, 2006)

Just thought I would join in and introduce myself. My name is Jes and I am going to be tandem nursing in Dec. Yay. I am really excited about nursing my two little ones.
I have a question. I think that my milk is gone, but ds is still nursing for comfort. Does this mean that I have to start giving him whole milk. I have been giving him water, but somedays he would rather just pour it out of his sippy cup instead of drinking it. How much fluids do I have to make sure he is getting?
Also, I was wondering when will my colostrum come in or is it just different for everyone?


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## Finding Serenity (Aug 10, 2005)

Hoping to be tandem nursing in October. Still nursing my 12 month old and hoping to glean some advice here. Never was able to do tandem since all my kids weaned themselves before the new babies were born. I am really looking forward to this!


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## tanyam926 (May 25, 2005)

I belong here too! I am nursing my 44 month old and my baby will be 1 next month. I can't believe it. It has been mostly great for me. My older son would nurse all day if I let him so I have to set some limits, and if one is nursing the other thinks he has to be too.









Someone asked about when you feel like you get a handle on things. For me it seemed to click when my youngest was 3 1/2 months. All of a sudden everything got a whole lot easier. I didn't feel so overwhelmed and I enjoyed nursing a lot more.

I like to nurse them together because it is the only time I get to relax! They are both quiet, and sometimes I can even manage to read a book while they nurse.

I don't know how long my oldest will nurse because I have 2 Boob lovin' boys that can't get enough!

Good to see this group!


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## damyen's mommy (May 5, 2005)

Quote:

I like to nurse them together because it is the only time I get to relax! They are both quiet, and sometimes I can even manage to read a book while they nurse.
ITA.







At first we would all lay down together and take a nap. Now at nap time I put them both down and read a book or sit on the puter. It's the only time that both are quiet....
Don't get me wrong I think ds is a lot of fun... dd too. But oh is it nice to have a little break once a day..








How is everyone today?? Anything special for the weekend planned?
Has anyone tandemned in public? I haven't before I have never seen done either, I was just wondering if anyone ever has. I would love to see a momma tandeming in public, heck i would love to see a mom breastfeeding in public, at times I feel so alone in this. I do encourage my cousins who breastfeed though although I haven't seen any of them do it. They always pump, or supplement in public.


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bigislandmama*
I have a question. I think that my milk is gone, but ds is still nursing for comfort. Does this mean that I have to start giving him whole milk. I have been giving him water, but somedays he would rather just pour it out of his sippy cup instead of drinking it. How much fluids do I have to make sure he is getting? Also, I was wondering when will my colostrum come in or is it just different for everyone?









Howdy and welcome! My dd was older than your ds when my milk dried up during pregnancy but I didn't give her whole milk to replace nursing sessions. She drinks water (very ocassionally soy/rice milk) throughout the day. Someone correct me if I'm wrong please, but I _think_ that kids are pretty good at regulating their fluid intake if they have fluids available to them. As far as colostrum, I think it varies from person to person. Mine came in about a month and a half before I gave birth!


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

Yay! My copy of Adventures in Tandem Nursing just came!







:


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## honeybee (Mar 12, 2004)

Hi! I hope it's not too late to join in! I didn't have time to read all the posts (it's almost time to start the night-time ritual of nursing both boys to sleep, one after the other!), but I hope to get back here soon.

I am tandem nursing both of my boys. The oldest is 2 3/4 years old. The baby is 5 months old. It is a big challenge. I don't mind nursing both boys, but I HATE nursing them both at the same time, but sometimes it's the only way to get any peace. My oldest will say "both boys, mama! Puh-lease, both boys!" when he wants to nurse when the baby is already nursing, and it just melts my resistance. And he is SOOO HAPPY when I say yes, I feel guilty for those times when I put him off. But sometimes I just need a friggin break from nursing!

I wouldn't change anything, though. I can't imagine cutting ds1 off when it means so much to him.


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

Welcome honeybee, it's definately not too late to join in! The more the merrier!


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## momtoS (Apr 12, 2006)

Can I join in? I JUST found out today that I am pregnant. DD will be two next month and still nurses quite often and comfort nurses. I had Hyperemesis with my last pregnancy so I am hoping I can continue to nurse through this one. I am involved in a study to try to help out with the vomitting and nausea so we will see.

FIRST question: As long as I feel okay is okay to continue working out? Is there anything I shouldn't do?


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## eightyferrettoes (May 22, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KittyMommy*
Bug was just so much skinnier at this age with my low "nummy" supply while I was pg.

My 18 month old is noticeably skinnier these days, too... I'm hoping he'll fatten up a little once the milky comes back. Seems like all he wants to eat now is banana and pancakes.









I do give cow's milk, though, as un-MDC as that is. He enjoys it, and it's one of the few sources of fat he'll regularly take. For water, I just offer him a cup several times a day. He's never used a sippy cup, and there's no way I'm going to let an 18 month old run around with an open cup of water all day







so I just offer it at meals, snacks, whenever I get myself a drink, before bed, after naps, etc.

I figure he knows whether he's thirsty or not, and sometimes he'll drink and sometimes he won't. I just make it my job to make it available.

My colostrum came in around 30 weeks, IIRC, but I have no idea how much he's getting of it, fluid-wise.

And hi, MomtoS! I can't think of why you wouldn't be able to keep working out if you're up to it. Hyperemesis sucks, from what I'm told, so I hope it's an easier ride this time than last.


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## KittyMommy (Mar 21, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eightyferrettoes*
My 18 month old is noticeably skinnier these days, too... I'm hoping he'll fatten up a little once the milky comes back. Seems like all he wants to eat now is banana and pancakes.









DS seemed like he was gaining weight at least as fast as his sister the first couple of months. Great health-wise for him, but MAN did it get hard to carry both kids around really quickly!


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## georgia (Jan 12, 2003)

Me









I've tandemed now twice, and for a short period of time, triandemed
















I'm currently constantly nursing an almost two yr. old and an almost four yr. old. I'm so happy to have found y'all


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## eightyferrettoes (May 22, 2005)

Peace.


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## timneh_mom (Jun 13, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eightyferrettoes*
My 18 month old is noticeably skinnier these days, too... I'm hoping he'll fatten up a little once the milky comes back. Seems like all he wants to eat now is banana and pancakes.









I do give cow's milk, though, as un-MDC as that is. He enjoys it, and it's one of the few sources of fat he'll regularly take.

This sounds like my son too. I'm 15 weeks pg now and he LOVES bananas and pancakes... and pb&j's too! Thank goodness for them! LOL He gets cows milk too, but we are a cow's milk drinking kind of family. It seems like even colostrum is a long way off for me... *sigh* But he still wants to nurse 4-6 times per day so that's cool for now!

If you get Adventures in Tandem Nursing, there are a lot of good pictures in there if you're having trouble visualizing how to nurse two at once...


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## bigislandmama (Apr 13, 2006)

So my ds is officially night weaned. DH tried to help but ds wanted nothing to do with him. I slept out on the couch for one night and it was horrible listening to him cry for his "mamas". I ended up having to cuddle him for about 5 nights when he would wake up and then the last three nights he has been just sleeping right through. Yesterday ds even slept in until 7:45! That was a treat. I have noticed that he has been taking a better nap for me during the day too, which is really nice. Before I could only get him to sleep for a hour if I was lucky and so I would give him two naps. Now he is taking one 90 minute nap and then waking up for some nursies and then sleeping/cuddling with me for another 30 minutes. It has been really nice and I've been enjoying all the extra cuddle time with him.


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## honeybee (Mar 12, 2004)

I'm a strong supporter of bfip with my babies, but I have to admit I don't bfip with my 2-year-old (let alone tandem) unless absolutely necessary. He just kind of grew out of asking somewhere around 18 mos - 2 yrs. Now he asks sometimes, but I just don't feel comfortable doing so. I just don't want to deal with the comments. Maybe I'll be more progressive when ds2 gets older.

There was a nurse-in in my town last year, and one of my friends got her picture in the paper tandem nursing her two girls. You can imagine the letters-to-the-editor that caused! She wrote a great response to a particularly nasty one. She's my heroine!


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## JessC (Jul 5, 2006)

Hi ladies...
I have an 8 mo baby... and I am about 6 weeks pg with the next one.... Lots of questions, of course.
I plan on continuing nursing with DS ... he's not on solids yet, so will he get enough?







I read all this about milk drying up at 4 mos pg. Yikes!


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

my 1st was 7 months when i became pregnant with #2. we had just introduced solids, but when i confirmed i was pregnant #1 went on a food strike and continued to exclusively bf for the next few months. i looked up tandeming as soon as i found out i was preg and the most important thing i read was to make sure i drank extra water. i did. and i did not have any problems with supply or nipple sensitivity. that was a perfect pregnancy to nurse through.
my other pregnancy did not go that well as far as supply and sensitivity. despite the amount of water i drank. in my 3rd preg, i had much morning sickness and my supply dwindled. but, the boys nursed throughout the pregnancy. one was already 3, and the other was turning 2, so i didn't worry about them getting nutrition. and the colustrum came in at the end of 2nd tri so they welcomed that! they even gained a little weigth. of course, nothing like when the milk comes in!
the 4th preg, and lost a majority of milk after 1st tri. that's when #3 started showing an interest in solids again. the older boys went from nursing 3x's a day to a lot less (especially duration) as they noticed there wasn't much and they weren't patient enough to work the flow. but, they were 4 and 5 so it was more of knowing they could have it if they wanted. #3 was already 1 1/2 when i got preg with #4, but she kept nursing throughout at any time. and i know she was getting some milk. she self nightweaned within a few months after her 2nd bday. the colustrum came in again at the end of the 2nd tri.

hopefully your pregnancy will be like my 2nd preg.

i wanted to add that in the 3rd preg, i did get dehyrated alot with the morning sickness which is what led to the supply drop and nipple sensitivity. but, in this last pregnancy, i did keep very well hydrated, but the nipple sensitivity was actually the worst of all pregnancy (still not as bad as what other's go through), but nursing my youngest nursling the sensitivity was at a minimum and usually could be solved by drinking a glass of water. i don't know if the older ones i had some natural psychological instinct to turn them away to protect the fetus while it didn't bother me as much with a younger nursling. i'm getting too deep now, and tandem naking is getting in the way of typing so i'm ending this.
water is definitely the key!


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## kiwimumtomykidz (Jul 27, 2005)

I'm subbing here









I'm tandeming with dd#4 (4 next mth) and dd#5 (11mths). Actually dd#4 was totally weaned until a couple of mths ago and now she wants to nurse a LOT!







: Not sure how I feel about it really

Anyways, I'm here and glad to see this tribe.







:


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## timneh_mom (Jun 13, 2005)

Hello all,

Well, this is getting really depressing. The past two days, DS has only nursed twice. He seems to be dropping his morning nursing session, I'm sure it's because I don't have milk anymore and he's just hungry and wants to get on with his day.







: It just makes me so sad!!







I was SO hoping I'd nurse two, I know he'd still be going if I wasn't pregnant and had milk.







:

The nice thing was that he nursed himself straight to sleep tonight, when he was finally asleep, that's when he slipped off. Even if we can keep the nap/night sessions, hopefully he doesn't forget how and will get a nice surprise in February when I get milk again...


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## NinaBruja (Jan 19, 2004)

i tandem in public









im glad to know that having the oldest outnurse the little one is normal...
mt almost 3 year old is just constantly chasing me signing 'milk' and saying 'boobyboobyboobybooby'

hello everyone


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## cheenya (Dec 17, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eightyferrettoes*
Sometimes I try to imagine how I'm going to nurse my newborn and my toddler at once. The logistics of where all these waving arms and legs are going to go boggles my mind. We shall see.

I had problems envisioning this one too. The two positions that worked best for us in the early days were DD (3) laying next to me and DS (newborn) laying on top of her side or back (a very common one for nights) or in a oversized rocker recliner (seriously huge, my feet don't touch the floor when I sit in it, so I sit cross-legged comfotably in it)) with him tucked into the space between her belly and mine. Now there are a lot more positions that will work because DS doesn't need as much help getting latched on. the most common at nights now is me flat on my back with a child in the crook of each arm, but that rocking chair is still more comfortable and I often will put DS in the "football hold" position - especially with the hot weather fewer sweaty bodies all in one pile is better sometimes








I generally avoid tandem nursing in public if at all possible though. I'll NIP either child alone with no problems, but the amount of my chst exposed to nurse 2 at onces makes me uncomfortable, my shirt seriously is usually around my neck, and only 2 of the handful of nursing tops I own are tandem friendly,







: annoying since I bought thm with tandeming in mind, but not thinking enough about how it would actually work.







Oh well, live and learn I guess


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## eightyferrettoes (May 22, 2005)

Peace.


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## cheenya (Dec 17, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eightyferrettoes*
Baby was born on Thursday evening, and the milky came in this morning. Yowch!

Congratulation!! By the way if your DS is nursing a lot (my dd sure did at first) and then suddenly stops nursing for a while (ex. leaves the house with dad, a friend or relative for a few hours) you may suddenly be dealing with engorgement. No one mentioned it to me, and it took me a while to figgure out, so I thought I'd bring it up. I started always keeping a raw cabage in the house to deal with it.


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## jillmamma (Apr 11, 2005)

I am excited to say that as of tomorrow, I will be officially tandem extended nursing (as in tandem nursing for a year)! My little sweet Michelle turns one tomorrow, and she and her 3.5 year old brother are still going strong. It is getting easier as she and he get older, and has been so worth it!


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## damyen's mommy (May 5, 2005)

jillmamma congrats on tandemning so long that is awesome!!!
eightyferrettoes congrats on the new baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## eightyferrettoes (May 22, 2005)

Peace.


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

congratulations eightyferrettoes on the birth of your babygirl! And welcome to the world of tandeming








it's amazing how a toddler can suddenly look like he/she head grew 3 times it's size it just a short space of time. and it's really noticeable when you nurse the two together. Big head syndrome!

Jillmamma, happy one year to your dd, and congratulations on tandeming for a year









Timneh_mom, start looking for your colustrum to come in around the 6th or 7th month. that will help tide your little one over til the milk comes in after the baby is born. you'll notice it in your ds's stools...they'll be runny and yellowish green (the runny stools won't last too long). And off topic...the shores of Lake Superior in Luce County is one of my favorite places on Earth!


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## ms. pacman (May 4, 2004)

Hello all, I am another tandeming mama as of 3 weeks ago! I have found it more difficult than I thought it would be to nurse both at once. I find that sometimes I still have the feeling that I want to push my older one away, the same skin-crawling feeling as during pregnancy. But it's not all the time, and mostly just when I'm nursing both at once and she's hanging off the side or slurping. But sometimes I just sit there and sigh and kiss their heads and love what I'm doing. I guess it's all just a roller coaster, isn't it









My older dd still nurses to sleep so naps and bedtimes have been fun








But I think we're gonna survive!

Oh, and her face seems just huge!


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## honeybee (Mar 12, 2004)

Congrats on the new babies!

I thought we were doing pretty well with the whole tandem nursing, but lately I am hating it. Ds1 has started waking up at night (well, early morning anyway) crawling into bed with us and wanting to nurse. I spend the last 2-3 hours of the morning rolling over between both boys. I am SOOO tired. And I can't seem to get to bed early, either. I get the baby to sleep, but he invariably wakes up within 20 minutes after I get up, which is usually while I'm putting ds1 down. Dh takes the baby, who will not fall back to sleep for dh. Baby either cries or plays happily with dh. Ds1 finally goes to sleep and I lay down with baby, who after a short nursing session decides he's done and just wants to play, but does not want to go back to sleep. I just wish ONE of them would be able to go to sleep without nursing. Ds2 did for awhile, but would always wake up when dh tried to put him down. Now, he won't even fall asleep for dh. And there are times when dh has tried for a LONG time, while I was trying to get ds1 to sleep. (Ds1 used to fall asleep pretty easily, but lately it's hit or miss how long it takes him.) What's more, ds1 has NOT been going down for a nap in the afternoon, and I really miss the downtime. I am one grouchy mama lately.


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## HennaLady (Aug 28, 2006)

Hello everyone, I'm new to the MDC boards so please excuse any missteps. I was hoping to join you all! I've been tandeming for 15 months now, so "officially" in the extended tandem realm. My two are 12 months apart (26 mths and 15 mths), the Adventures in Tandem Nursing book did almost nothing for me in the way of support, unfortunately. I do think it's probably very useful for moms with children 2 or more years apart, though. I love having my two Gemini's so close in age, although I have no idea how to explain how I was fertile at 10 weeks postpartum while demand-nursing and cosleeping! My fertility STILL hasn't returned 15 months after my second birth. Mystery.

Anyway, I briefly read through and saw that there are some women dealing with nursing a pre-solids baby while pregnant, and I can certainly understand what you're going through. My first lost weight in her 5-6 month because of my dwindling supply and we ended up supplementing her with donated breastmilk from dear trusted friends. It was heartbreaking for me. I went on to donate my "overage" milk while early tandem nursing to another family in need for 6 months as a result of this awesome gift. Needless to say, it all worked out and my oldest is a highly committed nurser these days. In fact, I think her little brother may self-wean before her! Anyone else get that feeling? I wonder if it's because of the milk supply dropping off for those months of my pregnancy which may have caused her to have a higher level of attachment to nursing. Certainly my youngest has never had to wonder if there will be enough milk!

With respect to you all,
Keleigh


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## mamamilkbar (Jun 28, 2005)

i'll join! we're tandem nursing here.. DD1 is 22 months and DD2 is 2 months!! I have never read "The Adventures of Tandem Nursing" I have a cousin (who im pretty close with) who is tandem nursing (4 yo and 22month old) and she has just taught me a lot. LOL Without her I know I wouldn't be where I am today and I'm so thankful for her







But anyways.. I'll post more later! I'm excited that I've found this tribe!


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## ZeldasMom (Sep 25, 2004)

Hey Tandem Nursing Mamas! I am delighted to discover this thread! I look forward to reading through the whole thing.









I am tandem nursing my 11 mo DD and 34 mo DS. The unexpected thing I am experiencing is that my older child nurses more than my baby! He still; NIP all the time (which I had thought would be pretty much over by now) and seems to nurse for comfort, whereas DD seems more businesslike and nursing more solely for nutrition. I think some children are just more attached to nursing than others.

Fortunately my almost 3yo is now to the point where he nurses before he sleeps, but he is not needing to nurse to fall sleep, which has been easier on me. In the past I had some marathon nursing sessions trying to get him to sleep. Also he is now night-weaned (we did a modified version of the Jay Gordon "changing the sleep pattern in the family bed" routine this summer), which has also helped me feel a lot less tapped out.


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## kiwimumtomykidz (Jul 27, 2005)

It's so much fun tandem nursing!! Some days it seems like all I do







When dd#5 was 6 mths I had to wean her for 5 days, and also weaned dd#4. Slowly but surely they have increased my supply again. Actually dd#4 stopped nursing for about 3 mths and now at almost 4yo (in 5 more sleeps







) would nurse more than dd#5 (11mths). I have set some limits on dd#4 which she is mostly happy about!







She would like to nurse at night too, but I can only handle one night nurser!

I love watching them playing with each other. dd#5 often tries to steal dd#4's boob! She lunges at the other breast with her mouth wide open







dd#4 thinks it's very funny too!

Just wanted to share.


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## damyen's mommy (May 5, 2005)

to all








Honeybee







s
I wanted to add that I only night nurse my younger babe. I was so tired after a month of my older one waking up with the new babe twice. I night weaned him. My ds was nightweaned but started up again when the milkies returned. I will say that I do nurse him to sleep an in the morning but I gently cut out the in between nursings. I can usually sleep while dd is nursing so I get more sleep now. At first I was a wreck. I have slight narcolepsy an when that started to kick in I HAD to get more sleep. Everything has evened out an resolved itself now.


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## gina871 (Feb 13, 2006)

I'll join too!! I have been tandum nursing for almost 2 years.


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

the beauty of nursing 2 during night is that it makes nursing 1 seem so easy!







:


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## mamamilkbar (Jun 28, 2005)

welcome Gina! I was hoping you would find this thread!!!!


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## honeybee (Mar 12, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *damyen's mommy*







to all








Honeybee







s
I wanted to add that I only night nurse my younger babe. I was so tired after a month of my older one waking up with the new babe twice. I night weaned him. My ds was nightweaned but started up again when the milkies returned. I will say that I do nurse him to sleep an in the morning but I gently cut out the in between nursings. I can usually sleep while dd is nursing so I get more sleep now. At first I was a wreck. I have slight narcolepsy an when that started to kick in I HAD to get more sleep. Everything has evened out an resolved itself now.

Thanks! I've thought about night weaning, but ds1 was sleeping through the night on his own consistently for several months. I'm hoping this is just a phase, and he'll go back to sleeping soon.


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## monkeys4mama (Apr 25, 2006)

Subbing. I tandem nurse my three youngest (though the 6 yr old is nearly weaned). Nursed through three pregnancies, tandem through two of those.


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## mamamilkers (Nov 11, 2005)

I just found this thread, yay!

As of two weeks ago when DD#2 was born, I became a tandem nurser. So far, so good. DD#1 hasn't changed very much at all. For quite some time she nursed when she woke up in the morning, before nap and before bed time. She's still pretty much on the same routine. I am still just shocked at the amount of milk I'm making, so sometimes I have DD#1 come and help a mama out







. She does occassionally ask to nurse at times other than her usual times, but is fine if I let her know we can't (like when DD#2 needs my attention).

I am a bit overwhelmed nursing a newborn again, but I am sure I'll get the hang of it all pretty quickly.

It's so great to meet other mamas who are tandem nursing!


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## [email protected] (May 31, 2004)

Well, I have been tandem nursing for close to three years and with my own bio-children for about 28 months, which seems to me quite an experience. I am currently pregnant with #3 and am in the 16th week. My supply is quite affected and the toddlers now nurse more for comfort. It seems after the birth of #3 I may have to continue tandemning still and I am mentally prepared for the same. On the whole, so far it has been an enjoyable, though also very taxing, experience. I wish other Mamas, who are tandeming, all the very best.
Uzra


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## kiwimumtomykidz (Jul 27, 2005)

Congrats Mamamilkers! My "newborn" is almost a year old now - I'm jealous of you nursing your newborn!


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## jillmamma (Apr 11, 2005)

Question for all of you...do you think nursing more than one child makes AF stay away longer? With DS, AF stayed away till he was 15.5 months, and now DD is 12 months and no sign yet (thank God!). Just curious if it seems to stay away longer when tandem nursing vs. just nursing one child. I would like to have one more eventually, but not for awhile, so I would just as soon have AF stay away.


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## Lact-o-Mama (Jan 27, 2006)

Yay! I cannot believe that I've never seen this thread before!
I've been tandeming for just about 17mo now, my ds Jacob is 3.5 and my other ds Antonio is apporaching 17mo.
It's been an interesting







: journey, I look forward to back-tracking in this thread and reading all of the posts.

*jillmamma*: I think that is a definate possibilty. With my dd, AF returned at 5mo post-partum, with my ds, it returned at 8mo ( with each subsequent child I nursed ALOT more and stoped using pacifiers ), now with my 2nd ds, AF just returned last week







....so that makes almost 17mo without. I'm sure the NON-use of any artificial nipples/pacifiers in combo with the 24/7 tandem nursing kept AF at bay.


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## KittyMommy (Mar 21, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jillmamma*
Question for all of you...do you think nursing more than one child makes AF stay away longer? With DS, AF stayed away till he was 15.5 months, and now DD is 12 months and no sign yet (thank God!). Just curious if it seems to stay away longer when tandem nursing vs. just nursing one child. I would like to have one more eventually, but not for awhile, so I would just as soon have AF stay away.









Maybe! I got pg with DD when DS was 13 months (no ppaf!) and my first AF after DD was at 19 months. However, I have also heard that there is a tendency for







to take longer to return with each pg. Dunno...


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## HennaLady (Aug 28, 2006)

That has definitely been true for me, and it makes sense from a physiological point of view too. My fertility returned after only 10 weeks the first time and has now been on vacation for 15 months while tandeming! The more milk you produce and stimulation you have at the breast the more you signal your body not to produce ova. It's a chemical/hormonal thing.

:?: I have a question for you all: have you noticed your older nursling is more "attached" to nursing than the younger? Maybe it's because mine are so close in age (12 months), but I feel like #2 is going to self-wean before #1 (or at least at the same time). What do you think? Maybe because #2 didn't experience that drop of supply that #1 had during my second pregnancy?


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## gina871 (Feb 13, 2006)

With my first baby I had my first period after the baby at 15 months. I did not have a period after my second baby till 19 or 20 months.( I was and still an tandum nursing) However, we use the Creighton model of NPF and I believe that I did ovulate before my period at 19 or 20 months. My olderest has been night wean since my youngest was born, but I still night nurse my baby who is almost 23 months. I hope this helps give you some idea what to excpet.


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## <<<Scarlet>>> (May 19, 2005)

I am not currently tandem nursing my children, but my youngest (13m) nursed while my friends dd (almost 2yo) nursed on my other boob.
DS kept poking her in the eye.
Tandem nursing was amazing


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## gina871 (Feb 13, 2006)

I feel like my first is more attached somedays, and I thought that my baby (23 months) was not as interested. However now that she have has some words, I can tell how important our time together is. Now if I could just get a bigger lap. I never thought I would be nursing a 2year old and 4 year at the same time!!!!! Some days it works better then other, it have been a great test in patient and consideration for the girls and my self.


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

I'm back from my vacation!







:

Wow! I'm so glad to see how many people have joined since I started this thread. I'll catch up on reading here and then post a little later!


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## broodymama (May 3, 2004)

Glad to see so many of us!









I hope nursing 2 keeps AF away longer, she came back when DS was 7.5 months and still exclusively BF.

It's been a rough week here. DH is in the Navy and went to sea last week, DS is having a hard time. This is the first patrol where he is really old enough to know what is going on.


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## KittyMommy (Mar 21, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gina871*
I feel like my first is more attached somedays, and I thought that my baby (23 months) was not as interested. However now that she have has some words, I can tell how important our time together is. Now if I could just get a bigger lap. I never thought I would be nursing a 2year old and 4 year at the same time!!!!! Some days it works better then other, it have been a great test in patient and consideration for the girls and my self.

I know what you mean about a bigger lap!! I am currently nursing almost 75 pounds of "baby" Our kiddos are pretty close in age (12/16/02 and 10/21/04)...looks like we entered the tandem world only ten days apart!

Totally OT...I grew up in SD and still have an aunt, an uncle, and a cousin in the Sioux Falls area.









Jen


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## mama_at_home (Apr 27, 2004)

Hi everyone! I honestly cannot remember if I have joined this thread before but I will introduce myself just in case.







I am ebf my 8 month old twins along with my 3 year old. My 3 year old nurses between 2-4 times a day and is still very attached to nursing. I say no alot more than I want to, but sometimes I just cannot take one more second of nursing. Usually if I take a breather I can come back and offer but it makes me sad to say no in the first place. In a 24 hour period I'd say I nurse a minimum of 15 times, but usually much more than that. There are day when I wish my 3 year old would wean but overall it is working for us and I am happy to be giving all my kids such a wonderful gift. I look forward to chatting more!

Oops, I just realized this is the tandem nursing tribe! I was surprised to see 6 pages of triandem nursers because I have tried so hard to get a tribe going.


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## Contented73 (May 14, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *honeybee*
Congrats on the new babies!

I thought we were doing pretty well with the whole tandem nursing, but lately I am hating it. Ds1 has started waking up at night (well, early morning anyway) crawling into bed with us and wanting to nurse. I spend the last 2-3 hours of the morning rolling over between both boys. I am SOOO tired. And I can't seem to get to bed early, either. I get the baby to sleep, but he invariably wakes up within 20 minutes after I get up, which is usually while I'm putting ds1 down. Dh takes the baby, who will not fall back to sleep for dh. Baby either cries or plays happily with dh. Ds1 finally goes to sleep and I lay down with baby, who after a short nursing session decides he's done and just wants to play, but does not want to go back to sleep. I just wish ONE of them would be able to go to sleep without nursing. Ds2 did for awhile, but would always wake up when dh tried to put him down. Now, he won't even fall asleep for dh. And there are times when dh has tried for a LONG time, while I was trying to get ds1 to sleep. (Ds1 used to fall asleep pretty easily, but lately it's hit or miss how long it takes him.) What's more, ds1 has NOT been going down for a nap in the afternoon, and I really miss the downtime. I am one grouchy mama lately.










After reading the first half of your post, I actually looked over at the author to see if I myself had written it....







Yeah, I guess we're going through the same thing (and God knows, with the sleep deprivation I have no idea what I've written on here lately







)

Anyway, I'm just hoping there's a light at the end of the tunnel....ds2 is just one month old today, so I know it's still early. I give myself another couple months to see what happens, and if I'm still absolutely crazy, I'll go from there.

Nighty nite everyone!
Suzanne


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## timneh_mom (Jun 13, 2005)

Hello!

I haven't posted much on this thread, but I'm just in the beginnings of tandeming... still pregnant! I'm almost 19 weeks and I'm thinking I've got a little colostrum now. I can't get anything out, but DS suddenly went from nursing twice a day to asking several other times during the day, AND, his poops have gotten really mushy!!! They are a vivid mustard yellow color, VERY soft (not diarrhea but VERY mushy) and he is going 3-4 times a day. Tonight he even pooped in the bathtub for the first time in his life! (DS is 22 months) Of course it's not nice breastmilk poop, it's toxic toddler poop that is out of control!

He is well otherwise, no dietary changes or anything like that... sound like colostrum poop to you?


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## monkeys4mama (Apr 25, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *timneh_mom*
Hello!

IDS suddenly went from nursing twice a day to asking several other times during the day, AND, his poops have gotten really mushy!!! They are a vivid mustard yellow color, VERY soft (not diarrhea but VERY mushy) and he is going 3-4 times a day. Tonight he even pooped in the bathtub for the first time in his life! (DS is 22 months) Of course it's not nice breastmilk poop, it's toxic toddler poop that is out of control!

He is well otherwise, no dietary changes or anything like that... sound like colostrum poop to you?

Um, yeah. That sounds familiar to me. My kids had the poo changes when nursing colostrum. I don't think I ever noticed it quite as early on in my pregnancies. Mostly it was after the baby arrived. But yes, my toddlers all went through a stage of returning to having runny soft poops from colostrum.


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## timneh_mom (Jun 13, 2005)

Thanks Ellen... I've always been an over producer, I leaked it at 24 weeks the last time I think but since my breasts have been pretty functional this time, I'm not totally surprised.

Not that thrilled that we'll be doing this for the foreseeable future, but I'm glad he's getting something now!


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jillmamma*
Question for all of you...do you think nursing more than one child makes AF stay away longer?

That'd be nice! My AF returned on DD's 1st birthday...














I'm hoping nursing two will keep her at bay even longer this time, though we temp/chart to avoid so having AF back sooner would make me feel a little safer.


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## timneh_mom (Jun 13, 2005)

I got my first AF like a week after my son turned one also. I was so hoping I just wouldn't get them anymore! LOL Oh well... it wasn't many cycles later and I got pregnant, so now another big bunch of time without them!

I sure hope nursing two will keep it at bay longer... I guess it just depends on how much DS still nurses when DC#2 turns a year old!


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## PrairieBohemian (Aug 31, 2004)

I'd like to join this tribe!

I am an unenthusiastic tandem nurser. Ds1 weaned during pregnancy but as soon as ds2 came along, LATCH LATCH LATCH! One thing I am really grateful about is that there are no jealousy issues with ds1 and if its tandem nursing that saved me from this, then I should nurse my little hooligan with a smile. But really, its hard. Really stinkin' hard.

I don't get any enjoyment from nursing my 2.5 yr old. He has an aggressive power-latch that sucks milk from my toes. Sometimes I feel so violated. I know I'm not alone. The funny thing is I'll probably miss these days when I'm an old wrinkled prune.

I should quit my whining now...

Anyway, thanks for the tribe! I'll pop in when I can!


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

Howdy and welcome Terra!









You are certainly not alone in feeling unenthusiastic. My dd suddenly seems very demanding and I'm less than enthused lots of days. That said, I'm committed to CLW and we're just pushing on through for now!


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## jillmamma (Apr 11, 2005)

How often do you nurse your kids together vs. separately? DS usually just nurses 2-3 times a day (morning, before bed, and sometimes one other time during the day), and DD nurses when she wants to (6-8 times a day), so usually I may nurse them at the same time just once or twice a day. It is so cute watching them though, they sometimes hold hands and look at each other, and even make each other smile or laugh. I love how tandem nursing has helped their sibling relationship!


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

how often seperate or together?







: i do get some one on one time, but most of it's together 'cept at night. only one nurses during the night (i've put in a good share of tandeming at night with my first 2) or if i'm walking it's just the baby that nurses. my 2 youngest...2 months and 2 1/2 years are too many times to keep count.
last night i had 4 to nurse...now that was a bottleneck. those are very rare and when dh came home he said it looked like i was being attacked by a pile of ants.
i've seen hand holding, eye gazing, nipple pulling out of other's mouth (seems to be a newborn initiation...hazing), pushing, wrestling, head/arm rubbings, both argueing about a certain side....but i was so happily suprised when my dd actually put the nipple in her little brother's month (he was a week). that i had never seen before! and it was my girl that did that. i wouldn't trade any of these moments!









i remember reading that you produce 2-3 oz of breastmilk per pound of baby. 3oz if he/she is an avid nurser. i always extend this to my toddlers since they nurse as frequent (they probably get more). My baby is over 15 lbs, my dd is 25 pounds. that's 40 pounds x3. that's about a gallon a day (i don't count the older two into this).
so mama's, sit down a try to calculate what you are producing and then pat yourselves on the back! so amazing what your body can do!


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## monkeys4mama (Apr 25, 2006)

About nursing separate vs together and about getting frustrated with the older nursling, I think it really depends on the nurslings. My first two were so cute and cozy together. They made tandem nursing easy. The older one was very loving toward her baby sister and she was not pestering me or causing pain w/ bad latch or getting in the way or annoying me. She nursed together w/ her sis and she would hold her sister's hand and pat her on the head and tell me she loved her baby, etc. It was quite nice. And she weaned when I was pregnant w/ #3 so I then tandemed #2 and #3. They got along fine too. Dd#2 treated her little brother just like she had been treated. Lots of loving snuggles in mom's lap, etc. Well, then along came #4. I was suddenly nursing THREE kids at once and so w/ only two breasts, someone always got left out and that became a big source of jealousy. Ds and dd got to arguing. The baby always got first turn, of course, but the other two made me insane at times. Now the #2 child is weaned also, so I'm down to two again. But those two are NOT fun to nurse together. At least not all the time. Ds and dd#4 will push and shove each other and jockey for position and scream and fight over who gets the nay-nay with the most milk and so on. Sometimes I wanna scream myself. They do manage to nurse friendly much of the time. But I would have to say that with this last tandem pair, it's easier to nurse one at a time, if they'll let me.


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## kiwimumtomykidz (Jul 27, 2005)

I usually nurse my two once or twice a day together. I loved (and still do enjoy) nursing DD#4 but DD#5 is another story!! She is on again, off again, wriggling and fidgeting, kicking my in places unmentionable! I have days when I want to give up on nursing her ... but I am committed to keeping on going.

I love the times they nurse together, they are very sweet, except when DD#5 tries to kick DD#4 in the head!! LOL! DD#4 is very good about it and just tells her to use gentle feet!


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## timneh_mom (Jun 13, 2005)

Kirstie - nursing 4? WOW! What a mama!!!







I will remember you and nursing 4 when my baby is born and I'm struggling with nursing two! I had to laugh at your description of everyone patting/rubbing/taking nipple away... my son always takes away other kids' pacifiers and sippy cups so I can totally see him doing that too... stinker! LOL


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## AntoninBeGonin (Jun 24, 2005)

I'm so glad to find this tribe







My situation is almost identical to the OP's. Ds (25 mos) had almost stopped nursing except in the morning and sometimes a few minutes during the day. Since our daughter was born (9-26) he has been nursing day and night, by himself and with her and he has a fit if he needs to wait a few moments. Ah, but what can I say? It makes him so happy and it's so great to see their happy little faces









~Nay


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## MNmom (May 23, 2006)

Hi Everyone

I didn't realize this group existed until Jillmamma suggested it to me in the Life with Babe group. Thanks!

I have an 8 mth old dd and am 1 month along pregnant. I have been crying since I understood the common scenario of milk drying up in pregnancy. I am so glad to find this group. I will nurse as long as I can but want to be prepared to recognize if/when my baby is not getting enough breastmilk, what and how to supplement/replace, and how to keep nursing some so I can tandem when the new one comes. I am really hoping my milk holds out until I am five months along and my dd is 1 yr old.

My midwife has told me to make sure to eat and drink enough.
I am looking forward to learning from and with all of you.


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## mamamilkbar (Jun 28, 2005)

DD was 10 months old when I got pregnant. We never have to supplement so hopefully you won't either! I know if we would of had to I would've used goats milk.


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

#1 was 7 mos when preg with #2 and he got breastmilk all through that pregnancy...no supply issues at all. he had started a little bit of solids and then went on a solid strike when i found out i was preggo. but we didn't need to supplement.
i made sure i drank lots of water and got lots of rest. i love that the first 2 are so close in age (16 mos).


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## MNmom (May 23, 2006)

I am hoping too but my supply has seemed light today (not so many soaking wet diapers and not nursing for more than 3 minutes). Now tonight when she tried to nurse two different times she couldn't get anything and cried in frustration/hunger. I have been sick with a cold and am hoping that has just affected things but have spent the evening in tears because I fear it is being pregnant. She has never had a bottle and I don't even know where to start on formula. I am waiting another hour and trying again then.
Someone mentioned a SNS. I had never heard of it. Would this be something to use to let her get any milk of mine while supplementing? Is it just for younger babies? Sorry, I know nothing about it.


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## jillmamma (Apr 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MNmom* 
Hi Everyone

I didn't realize this group existed until Jillmamma suggested it to me in the Life with Babe group. Thanks!


You are welcome!









Quote:


Originally Posted by *MNmom* 
Someone mentioned a SNS. I had never heard of it. Would this be something to use to let her get any milk of mine while supplementing? Is it just for younger babies? Sorry, I know nothing about it.

A SNS (supplemental nursing system) is a bottle with a tube that comes down and you tape it next to your nipple so that the baby can nurse and get some supplement at the same time. The supplement could either be EBM or formula. Here is a picture of one: picture of SNS

You might also want to check out http://www.kellymom.com/bf/tandem/index.html She has a lot of great info on tandem nursing and nursing while pg.


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## PrairieBohemian (Aug 31, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jillmamma* 
I love how tandem nursing has helped their sibling relationship!









THIS is the only reason I am a tandem nurser. I also believe in CLW but to a certain extent. My boys adore each other and I have a strong feeling its because of their tandem nursing. It is so bloody cute when ds1 "helps" put my nipple in ds2's mouth. Just melts me...


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## Nature (Mar 12, 2005)

Just checkin in!









Still here, still tandeming.


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## jillmamma (Apr 11, 2005)

Cute moment...a couple of days ago when getting dressed, DS was in my room and pointed at my breasts saying, "Mama has 2 'muhs', (his word for mama milk) this one is Matthew's (left breast) and this one is Michelle's (right breast)".







I think he says they have assigned breasts because when I nurse them together, she is usually on the right side and he on the left. I love some of the stuff he says!


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

Ugh, I'm dragging my butt around these days, really struggling with the decision about whether to place more limits on my daughter (who will be 3 years in January). I'm back and forth about just letting things go on as they are (some days she asks all the time, some days hardly at all) or cutting her back to just when she wakes up from naptime and bedtme. Anyhow, this whole time is bittersweet and I'm trying to enjoy it as much as I can. I hope you guys can understand how hard it is nursing two (or more) sometimes.


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

tandeming, like nursing one, or just being a mom in general is not always a picnic. your oldest is still adjusting to a new sib, and you are too.

on a lighter note...info i did not need to know and i'm going to share cause it's different and a little ironic....my MIL has a 3rd breast that never fully developed.







: i didn't ask to see it, so i'm taking her at her word.


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kirstie* 
my MIL has a 3rd breast that never fully developed.







: i didn't ask to see it, so i'm taking her at her word.

Boy, too bad it didn't develop, that could've come in handy.


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

doh!


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## timneh_mom (Jun 13, 2005)

I had a friend who leaked milk from a pore in her armpit while she was nursing one of her kids! (People do have extra nipples sometimes too!)


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

Well my dd seems to be taking a breather from her all day booby fests. Yesterday she only nursed once...Damn these post-partum hormones, I was feeling pretty sad at the prospect of her weaning when only days before I was ready to ring her neck if she asked one more time.

How is everyone else doing?


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## kiwimumtomykidz (Jul 27, 2005)

How's it going here? Well, I have my days when I just want them both to wean, other days it's great and I don't want it to ever end







:

I like to get a bit more sleep at night so I'm gently encouraging the baby (now 12 mths) to nurse a little less frequently. It seems to be working - I would have got almost three hours straight sleep 10pm - 1am, if one of the other girls didn't need me during those hours







: (Isn't it always the way







) So we'll just keep on working on getting longer gaps between nursing sessions.

Older nurser would nurse all day so, to keep my sanity I'm having to redirect her to different activities when she wants to nurse and I don't feel like it! (That sounds horrible - I hate email!)

Gotta run, I'm needed!


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## monkeys4mama (Apr 25, 2006)

Hi all. Just wanted to pop in and say that my dd#2 is officially weaned. I am now down to nursing "just two kids" again.







I posted on child led weaning about her weaning and weaning party. Before I had kids, if you had told me I would be nursing three children at a time and my first two kids would wean at ages 4.75 and 6.75, I'd have told you you were off your rocker.







What a long strange trip it's been.







But a wonderful one. And now, nursing a 1 and 3 yr old seems so very "ordinary".







I guess it's all relative, huh?


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *monkeys4mama* 
I guess it's all relative, huh?


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## kirk_heidi (Apr 26, 2006)

Does tandem nursing twins count?


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

twins certainly count!








:







:







:







:







:







:







: (me these past few days)


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kirk_heidi* 
Does tandem nursing twins count?

Yes, of course!


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## kirk_heidi (Apr 26, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Still_Snarky* 
Yes, of course!










Good! I have nursed them longer than I have any of my other kids. They will be a year next week and we are in no hurry to stop. We shall see how long we go but the plan right now is at least 2 years!


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kirk_heidi* 
Good! I have nursed them longer than I have any of my other kids. They will be a year next week and we are in no hurry to stop. We shall see how long we go but the plan right now is at least 2 years!









Congratulations! I don't know anyone in "real" life that has nursed twins for a year!


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## damyen's mommy (May 5, 2005)

Hiedi.....Yeah!!!!







Thats awesomeMaking it to a year is wonderful. I wish you many nursing sessions this next year
How is everyone else doing. My dd us still nursing strong at 8 months, my ds has dropped nursing once during the day and picked up a night nursing session







: . Woo I am so sleepy now. After a week of it though my body seems to be adjusting. Well maybe its just sleep deprivation kicking in







. Thats ok I just wish he hadn't picked one up right now. DD is going through a growth spurt or developmental change or teething. I don't know probably a combination and has started nursing many times in the night.I give up counting. I have become a little spoiled, she use to sleep 5-6 hours straight at night with only three nursing sessions at night. Thats ok though, she needs it... I need a nap...thats probably bad since I have only been awake for about an hour


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *damyen's mommy* 
I need a nap...thats probably bad since I have only been awake for about an hour

















I can SO relate!


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

I have an issue that I hope someone can offer some insight on.

I have a daughter who is almost three years old and a son who is three and a half months old. Before and during my pregnancy my daughter cut back to nursing twice a day: once at bedtime and once upon waking. She night-weaned (on her own) several months before I got pregnant. When her brother was born she began to ask to nurse much more often (which I expected), most days more than the baby. I was feeling so completely overwhelmed by this that I placed some limits on her nursing. She is now waking several times during the night asking to nurse and throwing violent tantrums (screaming gutturally and hitting and kicking) if I tell her no or to please wait until her brother is done nursing. I always offer to cuddle with her or scratch her back etc. but this just makes her more angry. The tantrums (sometimes during the day also) are eroding the wonderful nursing relationship we've had for 33 months. I don't know what to do; I'm exhausted and feeling defeated and at times feel like weaning her completely.







:


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## Nature (Mar 12, 2005)

Checkin in!

dd 3 yo has been nursing 24/7 lately, to the point of frusteration. Still Snarky, no advice... but







I know how you feel.

dd 9 months is much less demanding than her older sister. She hardly seems to cry for "nummies" but I often feel badly that her sister seems to want them so much. Lately I can't even sit down without her screaming (yes screaming) at me to lift up my shirt. She fights and punches when I will not let her at that exact moment and I get so sad that something wonderful seems to be a battle all the time. I most certainly do not want to wean her as I want to CLW but the past few days have been constant screaming and demanding.







: She should be able to handle _some_ limits at her age right? Or should I be limitless in order to truelly CLW?


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## AspenRayne (Jul 3, 2005)

I am not tandeming yet, but I just really have a feeling that my 2yo DD will want to nurse 24/7 once I have our DS in Dec. But I wanted to say, witchymama, that I think a child at that age can handle some limits. I plan on having limits with my DD about nursing once our li'l guy comes.....for my sake and the new baby's sake. Maybe you could try to just focus on what feels right in your heart for you and your family (happy mama=happy babies) and not so much on whether you are sticking to strictly what would be labeled CLW. I believe in CLW myself, but think it is also important to be flexible in my parenting enough to go beyond the traditional limits of a label if it will help my family in a positive way. JM2C.


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## gina871 (Feb 13, 2006)

I have been in your shoes, my dd was a little young. the girls are about 2 years apart. I had to set limit on my olders when dd2 was a baby. They are now 2 and 4 and we are still tandeum nursing. I started out letting dd1 nurse at night but the stopped after a few weeks she could not wait. She would have a cry and scream in the middle of the night. I was not fun. It took a couple of weeks before she stopped asking. I end up and still do not nurse her in bed. Iconfuses her and she start asking to nursing again in the middle of night. W had e also said she could not nurse untill the sun was up. which in the summer meant we were up at 5:30 or so. As she got older I told her she to wait till the alarm went of. good luck. my dd1 is sick today lucky she is still nursong she won't eat anything and is drinking very little beside mommy milk


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## provocativa (Jan 17, 2005)

hey all i subbed awhile ago. nursing two dds: 4.5 months and 3 years, 4 months. 3 y. o. has followed a pattern similar to yours still snarky, but with less frequency on the nursing and tantrums. for my dd the night tantrums are almost a night terror/nightmare, and need a gentler touch. what has worked for us is a many pronged approach. first, i bucked up and drank lots of water and started offering to nurse her all the time, and tried to respond quickly during the night. this made her less insecure (about the whole transition into siblinghood and tandeming). we talked about nursing only during the daytime, and started celebrating the morning nursing session. we started talking about nursing just a little bit, a few sips, during the day at good moments and then sometimes i would say 'just a little bit' when she nursed at night (receptive mood not a tantrum). on a couple occaisions when awake i got desperate enough to count to a very long ten while she nursed, got silly with it (faces etc) and she loved that limit! I hate the counting, and don't do it often, but she likes it soo. . . . i am now shocked at what a little sip she will take sometimes when i ask her to just have a little bit and she has mostly nightweaned herself (no night tantrums for at least 2 months). also trying for extra non-nursing cuddle sessions during the day tanks her up on touching, so she asks to nurse less. reverse psychology helps a little too, 'telling' the younger one to wait, she can't nurse until after dd 1, offering to dd1 if she has fallen, etc. sometimes i despised feeling like such a manipulator. . . . but i've only had to do this a little bit, and seemed to have nudged her back towards feeling secure and onto the next nursing pattern on the weaning continuum, and i no longer really need to limit or mention limits to her. oh, be careful. too many limits, combined with a busy day for her when she nurses less, and i start to get a plugged duct. but of course the toddler loves that, she's the one who has to help get rid of it!


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

Witchymama, like pp said, your dd is old enough to handle some limits. Who knows what is going on in that 3yr old







: head

Celeste, it'll get better. The old advice that i love cause it makes lots of sense and works....give in, try it for a day or two. just let her nurse whenever/whereever. maybe even offer when she's about to ask. hopefully this will curb the interest in nightnursing. then, when they've got that reassurance, they won't need to nurse as much. Is her demands the result of tandeming...who knows. But, i've seen this advice given too many times to single nursers. What i'm saying is that this is another step/hurdle in nursing your child that is normal.

Also, Celeste and Witchymama...it is that time of year....your dd's could be fighting off a cold or something.

Ever have those days when you nurse sooooo much, you wonder how the heck you can still pee?


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

Thank you provacativa & kirstie for your advice. We had another hard night/morning and I'll be employing some of your techniques.


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## provocativa (Jan 17, 2005)

Oh hey i forgot to mention busyness and food- if i keep her busy, she wants to nurse less and when i have it together (ha ha ha) i keep a snack tray out all day like when she was a little younger. pushing a bedtime snack helps too, esp. one high in tryptophan, like a banana or egg or cow's milk.


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## jillmamma (Apr 11, 2005)

On the 3 year old acting out and asking all the time...I can relate!!!







: Mine is going on 4 (3y10m), and thankfully he mostly sleeps all night but occasionally has days where he asks a lot. I have noticed that those are the days when I am occupied doing other stuff and not spending as much time playing, reading, etc. with him. If I take some time and focus on just him (with or w/o nursing), he asks a lot less and both of us are more sane.









Small brag...DD at 13 months now can sign "milk"! So much nicer for me than "waaaaaaaah!"









Question...how supportive is your spouse with you nursing more than one kid? I don't think mine minds so much that I am nursing both kids...he just feels that DS is getting too old, and that him still nursing is "weird". He knows that ultimately it is up to us, but I can tell he would rather that DS weaned sooner than later.


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## Nature (Mar 12, 2005)

thanks for the support and advice mamas







:

Dh is very supportive of me nursing both, but when I'm trying to do something and dd 3 yo starts tantruming for nummies he does get a bit upset. Mainly because he sees my frusteration and can't do anything about it. Sometimes he ends up saying things like, "I'm not sure you should have nummies anymore because you can't respect your mom when she asks you to wait a minute." and things along that line.. which makes me feel horribly guilty because I don't want her to think I'm taking it away from her. I correct him and try to get him to express his own frusteration in a different way but it doesn't seem to change it. Its okay for *me* to think those things, but not okay when he says them. Make any sense?









Extra snuggle time doesn't work with her, snuggle=nursing. No matter what I try. She actually won't let me read to her anymore because she knows thats the snuggling without nummies.







:

She's a very light eater, so pushing food or snacks has no effect. She will choose to nurse over food. I've even tried ice cream, and other "junk" in moments of desparation. She will still choose nursing.

Today I was really sore because of the constant nursing the past few weeks. One of my nipples has a blister on it from her.

tomorrow is another day.......


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## monkeys4mama (Apr 25, 2006)

Hang in there witchymama, ime, these things tend to run in phases. My 3yo ds has times like this too. I think it's a part of being three. If you think about the developmental stage 3 yos are in, they are in the process of becoming much more independent and developing skills in how to affect their environment and the people around them, etc. Unlike 2 yos who have a much more limited ability to look ahead, plan ahead and control their world in ways other than just crying, the 3 yo is starting to understand time better (but not well, so 2 min can feel like 20 min b/c they simply get that they're being postponed) and they're beginning to see language as a means of getting what they want but haven't got the patience to wait when their verbal requests are not followed by immediate action. I personally find the 3 yo age a lot more challenging than the 2 yo age. 3 yos are much more controlling and manipulative. I don't mean that in a nasty pejorative way b/c it's an important skill they are developing--how to affect change and get their needs met through their use of language. But as they learn these skills they are also needing to learn things like patience and empathy. The 3 yo mind is very much self-centered. And that's not meant inkindly either. Just a fact of life. Children learn empathy and understanding for others as they mature.

I find that if I try to keep in mind what developmental tasks my kids are working on, it helps me to remember why they behave the way they do and to find ways to get through to them. Sometimes my ds is just plain going to tantrum. I try to be loving and set limits (ie: I'm sorry I can't give you nay-nays now but the pots on the stove are going to burn if I don't stir them). But it is helpful if I use the "taking turns" approach. Kids this age are beginning to get the hang of taking turns. Often if I tell ds that we will take turns, mommy needs a turn to do XYZ for 5 min and then Rowan can have a turn for nay-nay for 5 min and we set the timer on the microwave, we can avoid some tantrums and it's a good lesson in postponing gratification, seeing that others have needs, being patient, and understanding that mama will always respond to him even if it's not right immediately.

Just keep working at it. Have patience. I don't think weaning is the answer (not that you were considering it, but I know some mamas get pressured to wean b/c of this type of behavior). Imo, it's just one way this developmental stage is acted out. If it wasn't bf, your child would be acting out and demanding your attention in another way. I consider breastfeeding to be just one part of our relationship wherein social skills, love, respect, turn-taking, gentleness, comfort, patience, self-control, etc, are taught and eventually mastered.

And if it's any comfort, each of my older girls did eventually ease up with the demanding stage and they learned to take turns and to wait and so on. Now they even try to "help" by offering advice to Rowan about needign to be patient and so on. So funny! Cracks me up to hear them talking like little mamas, with my words coming out of their mouths.
















Hand in there.


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## heamae (Nov 9, 2005)

Just want to pop in and introduce myself and my girls. Madison is 20mo and Morgan is 1mo. We have been tademing from day one. Thingss so far are going great with nursing, bed time is anither issue!!







:


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## timneh_mom (Jun 13, 2005)

Bumping this up so people can find us...









I am 25 1/2 weeks pregnant now and DS is still nursing, he's actually upped it the past couple of days. I've definitely got colostrum, I can easily get some out now. Just a few more days and I'm in the dreaded 3rd trimester. *sigh* At least I feel better with this pg than I did the first time. I just wonder what things will be like in 3 1/2 months... I'm not sure why I keep questioning whether or not we'll make it that long... we got through the "no milk" period, and he definitely asks for it at naptime, bedtime and sometimes in the morning, so why the questioning? It will be interesting to see what he does when he finds copious amounts of milk in there again!


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

Howdy and welcome mamas!


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heamae* 
Thingss so far are going great with nursing, bed time is anither issue!!







:









: No kidding!


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## jillmamma (Apr 11, 2005)

Do your nurslings have "assigned" sides? DS will point at my left breast and say "This one is Matthew's muh", and then my right one and say "This one is baby's muh".







I guess because at night I usually do nurse them on those particular sides.


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## Amy&4girls (Oct 30, 2006)

Would love to join you here. I have a question..I have posted both under Breastfeeding and Multiples..because I didn't know about this thread..maybe this is a more appropriate place..I'm not sure. Anyway I'm going to repost my question here..hopefully someone's been where I am.

When I found out I was pg with the twins..I had to wean my 2yo (for several reasons..altho it about killed us both to do it..as she was VERY attached to nursing). She finally accepted no more nursing months later and did fine. The twins were born in March and spent months in the NICU. One came home before the other and she started getting irritated when I would nurse her sister..and wanted to nurse..would even ask and cry to nurse. I tried to put her off..but after bringing home the other twin it became too much of a fight and have let her nurse again. Now she's nursing almost as much as before the twins..which is VERY frequently..and the twins do as well. No one seems to want to nurse at the same time..so it is CONSTANT nursing all day and all night! It's just so draining. My 5yo has special needs..and the smaller twin has severe medical issues. I'm stressed out!

Anyone dealing with a similar situation? Would love any advice on how to handle the constant nursing?


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Amy&4girls* 
Now she's nursing almost as much as before the twins..which is VERY frequently..and the twins do as well. No one seems to want to nurse at the same time..so it is CONSTANT nursing all day and all night! It's just so draining. My 5yo has special needs..and the smaller twin has severe medical issues. I'm stressed out!

Anyone dealing with a similar situation? Would love any advice on how to handle the constant nursing?









I can relate to the drained feeling. Some days I'm just tired of being touched. I can understand the older one nursing very frequently, sometimes more than the newborn in our house. Looks like your twins are still just babes too... Do you have the book Adventures in Tandem Nursing by Hilary Flower? She says that regression is a fairly typical reaction to new siblings and this may be expressed through the breastfeeding relationship (weaned kids nursing again, or toddlers nursing more frequently again). She also says that it's temporary and "most families are in stride by the nine-month mark."







Anyway, hopefully someone will have some concrete advice!

You're doing a good job mama; some days its just damn exhausting.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Mamas, if the conversation here predominantly centers around tandem nursing, I'm wondering if this tribe would be better placed in one of the breastfeeding forums, probably breastfeeding beyond infancy?

The FYT guidelines state:

Quote:

Though Finding Your Tribe was originally opened to help parents find each other based on their location we have welcomed tribe threads for parents of a like-minded path to meet and chit chat with one another. However, such threads should not take a focus of discussion for a topic that is hosted in an existing forum at MDC.

A natural course of chit chat discussion might carry you into discussing your daily lives and sharing events and struggles. But focused discussion of a parenting topic, a breastfeeding issue or problem, an activist or political issue, a religious concern or belief, just tpo name a few, should go to the appropriate forum for discussion with the larger MDC community. If you have any question in this regard feel free to check with the moderators before posting. Should you post or thread not be appropriate for FYT on this basis it may be moved to the appropriate forum.
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=303060

Plus, you just might get more action over there.









Let me know what you think!
Annette


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## mamamilkbar (Jun 28, 2005)

I thought tandem nursing was a tribe...i woul've never found it in breastfeeding forums.. thats just mho... I guess I'm maybe misunderstanding why then there are love threads in FYT??? and who's not popular here threads.. i dunno..................................


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## timneh_mom (Jun 13, 2005)

I've asked for a tandem nursing/ nursing through pregnancy forum, and discussed it with one of the board moms... but nothing came of it that I know of... I think those of us in these situations have unique problems and concerns, and sometimes posts about either get lost in the other forums.


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## trmpetplaya (May 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *timneh_mom* 
I've asked for a tandem nursing/ nursing through pregnancy forum, and discussed it with one of the board moms... but nothing came of it that I know of... I think those of us in these situations have unique problems and concerns, and sometimes posts about either get lost in the other forums.

I would LOVE to have a tandem nursing/nursing through pg board







Especially since I'm nursing through pg, planning on tandeming, and this thread looks rather ominous to catch up with...

love and peace.


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

timneh_mom i saw your request for a tandem/preg nursing forum. it's currently bumped if anyone else wants to put in a plea.


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## HelloKitty (Apr 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamamilkbar* 
I guess I'm maybe misunderstanding why then there are love threads in FYT??? and who's not popular here threads.. i dunno..................................

Because those aren't things that are covered in other areas, according to the guidelines that AM quotes, because the subject here is breastfeeding and there is a BFing forum then it sounds like it should be moved there. There is some grey area in tribes I think, but we may get more traffic in the BFing area?


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

It is a grey area and you're welcome in either forum. You would still be a "tribe" in Breastfeeding, much as the exclusive pumpers are a tribe there. My thought was that you would attract more people in Breastfeeding, and that, since you primarily discuss breastfeeding, this thread would be better suited there. But I'm not going to kick anyone out, LOL!


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## provocativa (Jan 17, 2005)

I think that more people would benefit from the discussion if this thread were in Breastfeeding Beyond Infancy. . . . I never look there but checked it out today once I saw the above post, there were a couple tandem threads, moms struggling, etc. and some of the posters had obviously not seen this thread but really needed to! Thus far, our discussion really doesn't fit in CLW, since many of us have to limit our dds nursing occaisionally, and that gets frowned upon in CLW.


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

I started this thread after not getting any responses in the CLW forum but it's okay with me if it gets moved to a more appropriate place! I do want people who are breastfeeding two (or more) infants to feel welcome though, that's the only issue with the Breastfeeding Beyond Infancy area. How about the Breastfeeding area?

Oh and would this thread be moved or would I need to start a new one?


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Let me double check with Penelope to see where she thinks it would get the most play.


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

Sounds good!


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

:


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## jks06457 (Mar 22, 2006)

might be triandem nursing. my 15 mo still nurses about 1-3 times a day and i am due in dec with number 3. number 1 is 3.5 and has been asking to nurse!!!!! he was never really BF due to cleft lip and palate, so that is a bt bizarre. kind of looking for ward to it. i never let my youngest quit because if this babe had cl+p i wanted to now that i would have enought for him. that way i might be able to use number 2 to bump supply. he is asking right now!!


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kirstie* 







:









To anything in particular Kirstie, or just in general?


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

all of the above, Celeste
and the 4 particulars lining up to feed. i feel udderly out there!









i'm really starting to wonder if complete (heck, even partial) weaning is a myth!


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## timneh_mom (Jun 13, 2005)

Hee hee, well, they won't be nursing while they are in college


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *timneh_mom* 
Hee hee, well, they won't be nursing while they are in college

















Never say never; I didn't think I'd be nursing a three year old.









Of course, it's this line of thought that makes my MIL think I'm crazy! _NO, I don't plan on nursing them in college._


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## HelloKitty (Apr 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *provocativa* 
, since many of us have to limit our dds nursing occaisionally, and that gets frowned upon in CLW.

Somewhat OT, but I've never experienced that in CLW. I'm sorry if you have.


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

i came to post and looked at the top of the page and this thread is in a different forum.

_so what's the weather like where you are nursing today?_ chilly here, and the fall colors are at their max

_what's your favorite place to nurse?_ sofa is great for me, lots of room, and i can do other things too while sitting up. and i use lots of pillows for propping...etc. but, if i need to stretch out, then i move the nurslings to the bed.

_are you nursing your nurslings together?_ yes.


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## provocativa (Jan 17, 2005)

I haven't experienced it, and personally believe that the tiny occaisional limits my nearly 3.5 y.o. dd gets do not conflict with CLW. But I have seen others jumped on for imposing rather than negotiating limits with their older nurslings. I actually think that this tribe would get more wisdom and support over in CLW, but so often there do some mamas get snippy with comments about 'remember where you are, this is a child-led weaning forum', about *any* limit. . . .


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Mamas, please remember that criticizing other forums or threads is a







.

Quote:

You are expected to avoid the following when you post:
Posting to discuss the statements or behavior of a member or members on the board, or to criticize another discussion on the boards. Such issues should be directed to the moderator or administrator privately and not made a subject of discussion in a thread.
http://www.mothering.com/mdc/mdc_useragreement.html

Thanks, and have a great day!
Annette


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

Noted Annette.


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## jakobsmom (Sep 16, 2002)

I am tandem nursing my 6 month old and my 2.5 year old.

When I first became pregnant, I was nursing my then 1 year old and three year old.

It is great to know there are others out there, since I rarely see anyone breastfeeding a toddler, let alone tandem nursing!


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jakobsmom* 
I am tandem nursing my 6 month old and my 2.5 year old.

When I first became pregnant, I was nursing my then 1 year old and three year old.

It is great to know there are others out there, since I rarely see anyone breastfeeding a toddler, let alone tandem nursing!









Howdy and welcome!


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## loomweaver (Aug 17, 2004)

I haven't read all of the posts yet but I am now tandeming my 30 month old and my 5 day old...
We have been having some serious issues, especially at bedtime, lots of tears, and acting out from my older nursling.

I am really struggling with it and am trying to be understanding of my girly who has had all of these changes happen in the past week but it is driving me to exhaustion.

Just wanted to intro myself, will check back in later.

Subbing







:


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## jillmamma (Apr 11, 2005)

Welcome, Michelle! Love your name by the way (my DD is Michelle!)









Those first few days are tough, but it DOES get easier! I am Jill, and nursing my almost 4 year old and my 14 month old. The older one does not get jealous of my time/attention so much anymore, but now the BABY is the one getting upset if I have her brother on my lap or next to me w/o her there too!









To answer the same questions kirstie did:
_so what's the weather like where you are nursing today?_ chilly for us (highs in the 60's!), nice and different from 84 on Halloween
_what's your favorite place to nurse?_ sofa or bed
_are you nursing your nurslings together?_ yes, usually before bed and sometimes first thing in the morning

My poor baby girl is getting up at night now due to getting those molars. She has half of her top right one, and the others are just below the surface. To top it off, DS threw up all over my lap last night, and you can tell I am having an interesting time now!







: I am VERY glad to still be nursing him, as he was not hungry last night or this morning, but was able to nurse and keep it down! So I know at least he is getting something good in him, and I am helping him fight it off.


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## Finding Serenity (Aug 10, 2005)

I am new to tandem nursing, I think I'm doing pretty well with it so far. I'm nursing a 3 week old and a 15 month old. My 15 month old was so thrilled when my milk came in, I had been telling her to be patient and she was going to get lots of yummy milkies when the baby came. She now wants to nurse every 2-3 hours or so, it's like she can't get enough of it. I have tandemed them together, usually 2 X a day. Tandem nursing has also made the transition so much easier for my 15 month old to adapt to being an older sister now--no jealousy issues. I also love how I'm never engorged like in the past.


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## heamae (Nov 9, 2005)

Hi there.
I am nursing my 6 week old and 21mo old. I think thing are finally starting to settle down. My ODD was doing the same as Michelles at bed time. It was really tough and tiring but things are getting better. She was having screaming fits until 2am but last night she was down by 9:45.
Dont know what the weather is like yet but it looks cold!!
Fav place to nurse is the couch, then I can get on the lap top.
I am almost always nursing both at the same time. There is no putting ODD off, she would have a huge fit.

Question for you....
Have you tademed in public???

I have twice now. I find it hard b/c everything gets exposed. I try to keep YDD in my Kozy nursing and then ODD doesnt ask but she has and I try to get her wait till we get to the car.


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## damyen's mommy (May 5, 2005)

Hi everyone!!! Just giving this a bump. hope everyone is doing well..


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## jillmamma (Apr 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heamae* 
Question for you....
Have you tademed in public???

I have twice now. I find it hard b/c everything gets exposed. I try to keep YDD in my Kozy nursing and then ODD doesnt ask but she has and I try to get her wait till we get to the car.

I never have, but my kids are further apart in age, so DS was already to the point where he rarely asked in public anyway...too busy. I have not nursed him in public since he was about two (he is now almost four).


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## heamae (Nov 9, 2005)

We spent the WHOLE day out shopping and she never asked to nurse!!


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

i rarely tandem in public, usually it's at someone's house, in the car, in the woods, places where it's private and comfortable. i remember nursing my 2nd ds and dd sitting in a chair on my porch talking to my neighbor (i'd only let cool neighbors in on that view







). she had never seen tandem nursing before, but she was impressed. especially since i laid one on top of the other and they criss crossed each other while i sat in a patio chair. at least at my MIL's she's got several coaches, porch swings, and benches to choose from. and then there was the time dh's friend and our neighbor walked in on me nursing my two boys (this was about 2 yrs ago), we were on the coach. he was soooo embarrassed. i felt so bad for him. he never walked in again without knocking first.

however, i will take turns nursing them in public. 'cept the oldest nurslings haven't had to nurse in public for a very long time. my oldest was climbing a tree a few weeks ago at a soccer game. it was his quarter out and he was climbing and slid, and ripped the top of his butt cheek on a sawed off tree branch. i thought i'd be nursing him then but he was content to sit in my lap and let me hug him tight.


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## loomweaver (Aug 17, 2004)

I have not had the oppurtunity to tandem in public yet but I think that my dd will want to....she seems to want whatever the baby has in terms of nummies.

I think things are already getting better, Last night was a little better after a big fit, older dd went down pretty quickly and slept all night, first time since new baby born...

I'll have to keep checking in here though...
Thanks for the support


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## mamamilkbar (Jun 28, 2005)

i wouldn't really call it public but i have tandem nursed before... at LLL- friends and relatives houses and at the mall but in a nursing room so no one could see.. heh.. oh and neighbors have seen in the backyard and etc...


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## timneh_mom (Jun 13, 2005)

My second baby is still inside







but I have not nursed DS in public while pregnant, at least not while obviously pregnant. Our local LLL group had a yard sale as a fundraiser, and a friend's little one needed some comfort after falling down. DS saw that and decided he needed some nursies too. So we sat in the front lawn and nursed. But since then, my milk has gone to practially nothing and now colostrum, and he rarely asks for it other than at naps and bedtime, and sometimes in the morning. If he does, it's 2-3 sucks and he's off running! I can't imagine he will want to nurse outside of his regular times now until I have milk again. So I'll have to come back to this question


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## FluteMom (Sep 26, 2003)

Just jumping in to say Hello. I nursed through pregnancy and am currently tandem nursing my 3 1/2 year old ds and my 11 month dd.

Ds has recently started nursing more, not sure what's up, but he's definately not ready to wean!

Allison


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## heamae (Nov 9, 2005)

I nursed both again at a resturant, at the table with dhs family. mil is ver supportive. dh tries to discourage nip ODD but last night she wanted to run all over the place so I finally told him if she is nursing she is sitting still. I used a blanket but I think I still made bil a bit uncomfy. Oh well.
Next obsticale is going to be Thanksgiving. Sil is having a baby next mon. and plans to bf but I have a feeling she will go to another room. Since its at her house I am afraid she will ask the same for me to do, which I dont find fair b/c I will end up spending the entire day in the other room. I got to talk to dh about it but I think if I am asked to leave the room I may end up just going home.


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## unitytree (Jul 29, 2006)

Hi all,

I am tandem nursing DD 3, and DS 5 weeks.









DD had weaned herself when I was 7 month pregnant. I had a feeling she would start again once the baby came. (she turned 3 in august) About 2 weeks ago she asked if she could nurse and I welcomed her. She is nursing more and more as time passes. Its been a bit odd nursing a big kid after not for the past 5 months, it's taken her a bit to get used to latching again...sometimes I let out an *ouch!!!*







:
But she's been having a really hard time since her brother was born. She loves him soooo much, she isn't reacting AT him thankfully. She is VERY emotional, getting frustrated so easily, yelling, tantruming, randomling throwing things/hitting. Poor DH seems to carry the brunt of it~ she was a big time dadda's girl before baby came. Nursing her has been wonderful for this. It's giving her a chance to connect with me, relax, realize that she's not being ousted. She's been wanting to sleep beside me again, just generally needing to connect with me as much as she can. Right now she's nursing 3-4 times a day. Sometimes with Noah, other times by herself. I'm so thankful that she has bonded with him so well!!

She sleeps through the night so we're nursing just in the day, mostly in the evening when she's sleepy. I'm glad for that!!


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kirstie* 
_so what's the weather like where you are nursing today?_ _what's your favorite place to nurse?_ _are you nursing your nurslings together?_

beautiful as always here in n. california. sunny, breezy & about 70 degrees!







I love to nurse laying down in bed with a blanket and a good book. They only nurse together at bedtime.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *loomweaver* 
I am now tandeming my 30 month old and my 5 day old... We have been having some serious issues, especially at bedtime, lots of tears, and acting out from my older nursling.









we really settled into groove around 5 weeks and from then on it has mostly gotten easier. hang in there mama.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *imma2six* 
I am new to tandem nursing, I think I'm doing pretty well with it so far. I'm nursing a 3 week old and a 15 month old.









welcome!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heamae* 
.
I am nursing my 6 week old and 21mo old. Question for you....
Have you tademed in public???









nope. my dd never asks to nurse when out and about (she's almost 3)...er, except for at LLL meetings of course.
















to the other mamas i missed. squiggly baby on my lap...


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## monkeys4mama (Apr 25, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heamae* 
Hi there.

Question for you....
Have you tademed in public???



No, I really don't tandem nurse in public. At least not just anywhere in public. I might tandem nurse in a place where other people might happen along, but not necessarily in a place where people are, iykwim. Like if I was at a quiet park, I might tandem nurse. If I was at the mall, I wouldn't. Ds is 3 1/2 and people are just too weirded out by that. I don't want to get reported to cps or something stupid like that. If I had twins or a 2 yr old and a newborn, I'd be more likely. I find that wearing nursing clothing makes me feel much more comfy tandem nursing, even when I'm at home. I'm not particularly modest about breastfeeding since I feel it is not shameful or obscene and therefore it doesn't require hiding or covering up. But all the same, I really hated the feeling of being totally exposed. I really, really like wearing nursing clothes and not having my belly hanging out. Even if I'm home alone, I like this better. Maybe if four babies hadn't taken their toll on my once trim midriff, it wouldn't matter so much. But well, that's life.


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## unitytree (Jul 29, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *monkeys4mama* 
No, I really don't tandem nurse in public. At least not just anywhere in public. I might tandem nurse in a place where other people might happen along, but not necessarily in a place where people are, iykwim. Like if I was at a quiet park, I might tandem nurse. If I was at the mall, I wouldn't. Ds is 3 1/2 and people are just too weirded out by that. I don't want to get reported to cps or something stupid like that. If I had twins or a 2 yr old and a newborn, I'd be more likely. I find that wearing nursing clothing makes me feel much more comfy tandem nursing, even when I'm at home. I'm not particularly modest about breastfeeding since I feel it is not shameful or obscene and therefore it doesn't require hiding or covering up. But all the same, I really hated the feeling of being totally exposed. I really, really like wearing nursing clothes and not having my belly hanging out. Even if I'm home alone, I like this better. Maybe if four babies hadn't taken their toll on my once trim midriff, it wouldn't matter so much. But well, that's life.










breastfeeding clothes!!!














: I've been breastfeeding for nearly 8 years and seriously never even thought of that!! I find wearing a tank with a built in bra is great 'cause I can keep the tank down and lift my shirt up....keeps my tummy warm in this cold weather too!!! ( I'm rather small chested so I don't need much support) I would LOVE a nursing top...what a good idea!! okay so now I need ideas. Who has a favorite nursing wear brand??


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## chandasz (Apr 13, 2005)

I love my nursing tops. Keeps my belly covered which is more important than keeping my little boobies covered!

My FAVORITE brand is BOOB. Swedish. Not cheap but brilliant design. Worth it!


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## heamae (Nov 9, 2005)

Link??


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heamae* 
Link??

I looked it up; cool clothes! BOOB


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

During my last pregnancy I gained about 40 pounds. I'm already (at 4 months) back to what I consider a safe breastfeeding weight (about 5 above my "normal" weight) and still losing, though quite slowly. I am thinner than I was a _year_ after having my first baby. I don't want to lose too much weight...

Anyone else experience this while nursing two (or more)? Am I likely to plateau here soon? What have been your experiences?


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## KittyMommy (Mar 21, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Still_Snarky* 
During my last pregnancy I gained about 40 pounds. I'm already (at 4 months) back to what I consider a safe breastfeeding weight (about 5 above my "normal" weight) and still losing, though quite slowly. I am thinner than I was a _year_ after having my first baby. I don't want to lose too much weight...

Anyone else experience this while nursing two (or more)? Am I likely to plateau here soon? What have been your experiences?










With my first pg, I had basically just gotten back to my pre-pg weight when DS was about 1 year and I got pg with DD. In the two years I have been tandeming, I have lost my pg weight, plus nearly 40 pounds more. I was overweight to begin with, so I am still above my "ideal" weight for my height. The weight loss was starting to slow down over the summer. Now that I'm pg again and my appetite is wonky, I'm not sure what is going to happen...

Jen


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)




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## Peony (Nov 27, 2003)

In theory I am a tandem mama.







DD1 is almost 4 and not nursing much anymore, once every few days but she isn't ready to be done yet. DD2 is 2 weeks old.


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AMB8301* 
In theory I am a tandem mama.







DD1 is almost 4 and not nursing much anymore, once every few days but she isn't ready to be done yet. DD2 is 2 weeks old.


Sounds to me like you are a tandem mama in reality! Welcome!


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

i've lost all my pregnancy's weight fairly quickly. i have a stable level despite all my nurslings which is still a little lighter then prefamily weight. my problem is when i get that annual illness and lose a few pounds, my supply is temporarily affected (and the weight is mostly chest area which i actually love because i don't feel so much like breasts with legs). it's weird because it seems that the nurslings that are dependent on the bm i can nurse without a problem, but if i'm sick then it's really hard to nurse the older nurslings (anyone over 2). but, they are usually understanding and know mommy is sick, they'll take a little less (it's like being pregnant, the dependent nurslings aren't a problem, it's the ones that nurse but can sustain themselves otherways that it hurts physically).

it really sucks when my nurslings are sick with me.

but, i always bounce back! and gradually gain the weight back to my normal level.

p.s. i often wonder how much weight is tied up in my mam's or at least what precentage of my body is breast!


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## Lact-o-Mama (Jan 27, 2006)

Hmm, I thought that Tandem Nursing would really help my weight loss this time.....







Can ya'll share your secrets!!
















**Just popping in Mammas, I subscribed to this thread some time ago, but haven't alot of time to post









~Kelsey, Tandem Mamma to 3.5yo ds Jacob and 1.5yo ds Antonio


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

Hey mamas!
I just found this thread, haven't read all the previous posts...but I am a tandem mama! I have tandemed for the last 7.5 years with a short break here and there. My first ds was weaned at 4(gently with my help), first dd was weaned at 4yrs 11 months(mutual), and I am currently nursing my almost 4 yr old ds(will be four on the 29th), and my almost 2 yr old 2nd dd(will be 2 dec 11th). This will probably be my last time as we are not planning anymore kiddos...I am glad in some ways. It has been tough nursing for 9 years, but so worth it.








Oh, and I am a clw mama.


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## loomweaver (Aug 17, 2004)

Good to check out different nursing clothes. I still like Motherwear a lot. They have clothes that actually fit me.
I still have not tandemed in public. DD1 kinda asked today at IKEA and I put her off. She didn't ask again and then got distracted so it never came up again. I don't know yet if I will be comfortable doing it. It will depend on the place I guess. The Poang chair display just didn't feel right to me today...


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## ladybugchild77 (Jun 18, 2004)

nak
room for one more?







: new tandem mama to my 20mo & 11 day old!







so far no tandeming in [email protected] only nurses like 3 times a day...my dd#2 started out @ almost 11lbs so she spends _quite_ a bit of time @ the breast...older dd just gets her leftovers!


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## loomweaver (Aug 17, 2004)

Stephanie

Glad to hear all is going well with your newbie Devin is doing so well!


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## sarahG (Jul 1, 2004)

Hi tandem mamas! I'm a couple weeks away from being an official tandem mama myself, but I have not enjoyed nursing thru pregnancy (at all.) I'm a bit worried that once the baby comes it will still hurt to nurse and I will still feel very agitated and miserable. I am hoping someone here can provide me with some reassurance that once the baby is out nursing will be "back to normal!"


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

to me, pregnancy is the worst part of tandem nursing. when that milk comes in it doesn't hurt anymore.
however, if it starts to hurt (post partem tandem nursing) it's my cue that i'm getting dehydrated and i drink a large glass of water. that's cures it for me. with tandeming you can get dehydrated quickly, especially since as a mom i tend to put my needs aside.


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## provocativa (Jan 17, 2005)

Sarah, it totally hurts less after the milk comes in. OT I live near Cincy and love the zoo and aquarium. . . .


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## sarahG (Jul 1, 2004)

Thanks...I've been starting to worry that I won't want to nurse the baby (and other late pregnancy fears







) It probably doesn't help that we've been nursing on only one side for several months now, b/c of pain issues, but now that the "booboo" side is okay, it's all colostrum and dd thinks "booboo" milk is ucky, so I figure it'll help when we can nurse on both sides again!


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## chandasz (Apr 13, 2005)

Well-- my 2nd dd was born last week! So, it's official-- I'm tandem nursing!

The pain went away somewhat but I'm having some new baby soreness on the same sore side as before. My fault for being lazy about her latch.

The birth was unbelievable. I didn't even know I was in labor until the midwife checked me to find I was 7cm. HAHA

Finding the balance to be a bit difficult right now. My older DD likes to nurse to sleep and is nursing a LOT more lately. She gets really upset if I have to nurse the baby first.

There's been a lot of crying for both of us. Daddy love has been a big help.

How long until things settled down for you experienced mammas?


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## jillmamma (Apr 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chandasz* 
Finding the balance to be a bit difficult right now. My older DD likes to nurse to sleep and is nursing a LOT more lately. She gets really upset if I have to nurse the baby first.

There's been a lot of crying for both of us. Daddy love has been a big help.

How long until things settled down for you experienced mammas?

I think life with a newborn in the house in general is a bit crazy. For us, after about 2-3 months, things were more "normal", as in we got a routine going and she was more predictable.

Weight loss...the pregnancy weight came off pretty fast (by my 6 week checkup) but since then, I have an extra 30-40 lb I would LOVE to get rid of, but it is hanging on. It would probably help if I cut back on sweets and got out and exercised more.









Question for you who do CLW...do you think tandem nursing has made your older nursling(s) nurse longer than they would have otherwise? Because they see the younger one nursing and it "reminds" them? I wonder because I think sometimes DS remembers to ask to nurse because his little sister is nursing, and would otherwise not necessarily ask at that time.


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

Quote:

jillmamma Question for you who do CLW...do you think tandem nursing has made your older nursling(s) nurse longer than they would have otherwise?
i'm sure it plays a roll...just having all that milk availlable makes it tempting. it's hard to say. i've read about enough single child weaning on their own at 6,7,8+ to truely believe my oldest is doing just what he should be doing. he's just has the luxury of going back and forth between wanting to nurse a few times a day to nursing a few times in a few weeks and going back and forth....the milk supply is there. i do think when they see a sib nurse they want to be a part of that and if they weren't welcome to nurse, then you'd have to find a good replacement. but, i've got more than two nurslings so there are times when someone has to wait or take turns...so maybe i don't really know what i'm talking about.
my two oldest are 16 mos apart. they tend to do a lot of things together anyways.
i've seen it argued before that tandem nursing isn't really CLW (risk of weaning during preg, as well as other factors that interfere with the flow of things). but, if you are letting your child led the way....and you give him some siblings....i don't care what it's called. if they have a super close bond...that is my ultimate goal as a mom. maybe it should be called SLW (sibling led weaning).
There was a point with my first 2 that i worried if the oldest weaned the youngest would follow. I haven't felt that way in a while. Maybe it's because #2 has gone beyond all his major milestones in nursing (only thing left is his decision to stop) that if he did stop i wouldn't feel that he got gypped. Or maybe because i noticed in the last year that those two are differnent when it comes to nursing. One might nurse while the other doesn't and it's not that big of a deal.







: sorry for any confusion, but that's my mind


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## provocativa (Jan 17, 2005)

sometimes it doesn't seem like it's calmed down here at all, and the younger dd is 5 months old! for us, the first six weeks were hardest, but my support system sucked, and i got terrible food poisoning, dh got a 3rd degree burn on his hand. . . .I actually think my 3 year old nurses less than she might otherwise. she is patient about waiting her turn, or only fusses a little. i did lots of role playing in the early days, pretending to make the baby wait her turn, having dd1 teach her how to nurse, etc. it paid off big time in less nursing jealousy here. now if i could get her to stop growling at the baby. . .


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

Well after dealing with the issue in post #143 we (dh and I) decided to night wean my dd (almost 3 years old). Things are actually going really well; she slept all the way through the night on Tuesday.







And I'm feeling a lot less stressed about nursing in the morning and at bedtime.


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

Yay!
We are nightweaning SAm right now too. He will be four ont he 29th. My older two kids nw'd a lot easier and earlier than this, so this is new to us. He has been doing really well though, sleeping through a few nights a week, and last night he woke 2ce, and I reminded him when the sun is up, he was mad for a bit, but not as bad as he was a year ago when I tried to nw. I am getting a little more sleep, but it just feels good to have only one kiddo nursing at night(most nights).
I realize that sounded negative in a way. I just think I am really burnt out on nursing in general...almost 9 yrs, and most of it tandeming. I am really tired all the time. LOL I do love nursing my kids and I am not wanting Sam to totally wean(unless he is ready), I just need a little bit of a break. ANd he is super high needs.


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

nursing one at night is much easier than nursing two (at least in my opin). if all it took was a gentle nudge....it was time.

9yrs of nursing mamamoo! you didn't sound negative at all! a little burnout is expected.

when i get burned out, i try to get one of nurslings to nurse me. and that is them taking turns scratching my back or brushing my hair. makes a difference.

referring back to Jillmama's question about the oldest nurslings nursing getting prolonged...i'd like to add(i've already posted one answer) that as far as nursing during the night it played a definite role. i nightweaned my 2 oldest after the 1st tri of my 3rd preg not really sure if it was going to happen or not. It was pretty easy to do, which always made me wonder if they kept each other going or not.
My dd who nw on her timetable (single nn) did it younger then her brothers. Of course, sickness and nightmares are the exceptions in all cases. And it's nice offering that comfort to them when they need it most.
Of course, i'll have to see what happens with this newest one to jump to any conclusions about tandeming in my family.

Breaking for the bottleneck....maybe i'll get a head rubbing out of this...







:


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## loomweaver (Aug 17, 2004)

Things are settling down at 3 weeks now...
Just wanted to say Hi again and still following the thread.
Off to bed with the whole fam damily..


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## ladybugchild77 (Jun 18, 2004)

Hello Everyone!
Haven't had much time to keep up with the thread...or anything else for that matter...how come you seasoned Mamas never told me life with a newborn and toddler could be so challenging?







:







I wanted to share tandem nursing pictures that dh snapped a few days ago! Warning - I have big boobs and yes, you can see them!







:

Aren't they CUTE?
http://www1.snapfish.com/slideshow/A...64/t_=35306164

http://www1.snapfish.com/slideshow/A...64/t_=35306164


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## loomweaver (Aug 17, 2004)

Nice pics Stephanie. You look good!
Here is my 2 in their first tandemimg sesion. Carson is less than an hour old:

http://i15.tinypic.com/2rcs9ja.jpg


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ladybugchild77* 
Hello Everyone!
Haven't had much time to keep up with the thread...or anything else for that matter...how come you seasoned Mamas never told me life with a newborn and toddler could be so challenging?







:







I wanted to share tandem nursing pictures that dh snapped a few days ago! Warning - I have big boobs and yes, you can see them!







:

Aren't they CUTE?
http://www1.snapfish.com/slideshow/A...64/t_=35306164

http://www1.snapfish.com/slideshow/A...64/t_=35306164


Quote:


Originally Posted by *loomweaver* 
Nice pics Stephanie. You look good!
Here is my 2 in their first tandemimg sesion. Carson is less than an hour old:

http://i15.tinypic.com/2rcs9ja.jpg









those are amazing! Here is mine...of course these are almost 2 yrs old now...and I am fat, so warning on that!








First tandeming with Violet and SAm
http://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h8...s/IMGP1071.jpg

And this one is a total nipple shot, and doesn't have both my nursers in it, but I LOVE it!
http://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h8...s/IMGP1076.jpg
I will need to get some older nursling pics soon.


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

What a wonderful idea! Here is my tandem nursing picture from right after Lorenzo was born, 4.5 months ago!







:


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## ladybugchild77 (Jun 18, 2004)

What lovely pictures, ladies!







: Thanks for the compliments on mine - I have been tandeming since Devin was born but it's kinda hard to take a picture of doing it by yourself, ya know - so I had to wait for dh to be off work to take it!









Still_Snarky - I can't view your link - it tells me I am not authorized...


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ladybugchild77* 
Still_Snarky - I can't view your link - it tells me I am not authorized...









Try it now, I think I fixed it!


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## loomweaver (Aug 17, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Still_Snarky* 
What a wonderful idea! Here is my tandem nursing picture from right after Lorenzo was born, 4.5 months ago!







:


AWesome! I LOVE your quotes also...My sister puts weekly quotes from the Office or Joy on Earl on her blog!!

(BTW-those ARE goldfish aren't they







)


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## loomweaver (Aug 17, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamamoo* 







those are amazing! Here is mine...of course these are almost 2 yrs old now...and I am fat, so warning on that!








First tandeming with Violet and SAm
http://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h8...s/IMGP1071.jpg

And this one is a total nipple shot, and doesn't have both my nursers in it, but I LOVE it!
http://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h8...s/IMGP1076.jpg
I will need to get some older nursling pics soon.










Mamamoo, I always think you are beautiful!
That nipple shot is very unique..


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## timneh_mom (Jun 13, 2005)

Ohh those pictures are SO sweet... they love their daddy too, what lovely pictures!!


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## provocativa (Jan 17, 2005)

Beautiful pictures! Sob, our camera broke 2 months ago and we have no current pictures of the baby. . . . But mine rarely nurse together, anyway. One thing about 'nightweaning' an older toddler for whom the night nursing is not so much a need. . . . now that she's nightweaned, if she wakes a little, or needs 'dream nursing', she can roll over and take a sip, or kiss the boob, and still sleep. Never really waking either of us. It's nice because I don't have to deny her anything, and if she really needed to nurse (like when she's sick) I can nurse her without compunction, thinking it will return to frequent night nursing or anything like that. Okay I'm going nowhere with this thought. Later. . .


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## monkeys4mama (Apr 25, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamamoo* 
:...and I am fat, so warning on that!










Mama, you are *beautiful.* No apologizing about being "fat". You are a mother. You are healthy, strong, nurturing, loving, lovable, comforting, nourishing, powerful, and wonderfully blessed.

Don't apologize to us for a body which nurtured growing life and which nourishes and comforts children each day.

We love you and we support you each day.









Beautiful pictures!


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *monkeys4mama* 
Mama, you are *beautiful.* No apologizing about being "fat". You are a mother. You are healthy, strong, nurturing, loving, lovable, comforting, nourishing, powerful, and wonderfully blessed.

Don't apologize to us for a body which nurtured growing life and which nourishes and comforts children each day.

We love you and we support you each day.









Beautiful pictures!

*YES*! That exactly, everything she just said!


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## provocativa (Jan 17, 2005)

It was hard for me to figure out which picture belonged to which name when I opened them all at once, but I didn't see any fat mamas, anyway. And, it was nice to see other women with breasts as big as mine! I don't have a single bra that fits. I just freeboob it, and wear the baby in a sling over my gallons with nipples! Which, since my babe is not six months yet, and 18lbs, I figure I make more than a gallon of milk a day. But, I haven't lost any weight. My body is holding on to it, I'm sure it's scared of how much milk it will have to make soon! I weigh as much as I did at term with # 1. Sigh. At least dh is from germany and likes robust women. . . .


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

you guys are so sweet.









I love all the nursing pics.


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## jillmamma (Apr 11, 2005)

Great pics! Makes me realize that I actually don't have any of my two nursing together...just separately. I need to take some!


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

these are beautiful pictures, mama's! thanks for sharing. beautiful mama's nursing beautiful babies.


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## ladybugchild77 (Jun 18, 2004)

OK...tandeming is not going well at the moment and I need some help from you wise Mamas!!! Here are my "issues":

- Every time I sit down to nurse the baby I hear, "Nurse too! Nurse too!" from my toddler. I wouldn't mind nursing them at the same time but I cannot find a position that is comfy for all of us. Then dd#1 gets extremely upset and throws a huge tantrum...If I do nurse them together she just wants to pop on and off and look at thenew baby - cute but it makes me sore...

- Dd#2 fusses like she is not getting enough milk if I let the toddler nurse before her. I know she is though since she spits up almost every time after eating...She will search between the breasts and go back and forth...If I let the toddler nurse after the new one however then I get teeth marks on my breast since she is not finsing as much milk...

- Honestly, I am just not sure if I am cut out to tandem. I know that dd#1 is not ready to wean (she is only 20 mo and nursed through my pregnancy although she wasn't getting much) I find myself putting more and more limits on her nursing and i know it is upsetting to us both. There are other factors coming into play here - without overwhelming all of you on my drama - dh asked for a divorce yesterday and he works 12 hour days so by the time he does come home I am exhausted and touched out so the last thing in the world I want to do is nurse anyone - much less a fussy newborn and screaming toddler at the same time...sigh...thanks, Mamas!!! Help me out, please!


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

so sorry Stephanie that your dh announced this horrible thing to you with such horrible timing.

This is a hard time for you anyways. You are recovering from a pregnancy and birth, your adjusting to a newborn, and your toddler is adjusting. the whole family is adjusting.

your toddler really needs you right now whether you nurse her or not. i would try to work on her popping on and off so that you can nurse them together. i've gone through that with mine, i always tell them "if your on stay on, but if you pop off then stay off". they'll get it.

with tandeming i switch sides every feeding, not during. some mom's choose to designate a side and that's good too. whatever works.

don't forget to drink your water and eat some meals. it's so easy to push your basic needs aside when caring for others.

i wish you dh was a bit more supportive right now instead of being selfish. he and you must know it's not always going to be this intense!


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

I am so sorry you are going through this when you should be able to just relish in your new baby. What a selfish man.









SOme of the issues might just be worse because of the lack of support, but I totally second what the pp said.

CAn you lay in bed with lots of pillos to nurse(that is how we did it for a good long while. Or even lots of pillows on the couch. I would put them under each arm(two under the new babe), so they are up high enought then kind of lay back(in a sitting position). Or let the older kiddo lay on your lap, and lay the baby on top of her(if she'll let you). I think it just takes practise. You will get the hang of it soon. And trust me, we have all had those thoughts.












































Quote:


Originally Posted by *ladybugchild77* 
OK...tandeming is not going well at the moment and I need some help from you wise Mamas!!! Here are my "issues":

- Every time I sit down to nurse the baby I hear, "Nurse too! Nurse too!" from my toddler. I wouldn't mind nursing them at the same time but I cannot find a position that is comfy for all of us. Then dd#1 gets extremely upset and throws a huge tantrum...If I do nurse them together she just wants to pop on and off and look at thenew baby - cute but it makes me sore...

- Dd#2 fusses like she is not getting enough milk if I let the toddler nurse before her. I know she is though since she spits up almost every time after eating...She will search between the breasts and go back and forth...If I let the toddler nurse after the new one however then I get teeth marks on my breast since she is not finsing as much milk...

- Honestly, I am just not sure if I am cut out to tandem. I know that dd#1 is not ready to wean (she is only 20 mo and nursed through my pregnancy although she wasn't getting much) I find myself putting more and more limits on her nursing and i know it is upsetting to us both. There are other factors coming into play here - without overwhelming all of you on my drama - dh asked for a divorce yesterday and he works 12 hour days so by the time he does come home I am exhausted and touched out so the last thing in the world I want to do is nurse anyone - much less a fussy newborn and screaming toddler at the same time...sigh...thanks, Mamas!!! Help me out, please!


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## provocativa (Jan 17, 2005)

ladybug, the first month of tandeming is soooo hard, even with adequate help (not that i had that, lol), but you must be freaking out with the dh factor. you can teach the 20 month old how to de-latch better. if anyone can go to the store for you, steel cut oatmeal really helps my supply, and a fenugreek fennel infusion gives me enough milk to nurse four babies. some mamas give the toddler the foremilk on both sides, so that the baby gets more hindmilk. sometimes this fooled my dd1 into thinking she got more mama time since she wasn't used to being offered both sides. i gave my dd1 extra 'mini nursings' to take off the foremilk in between longer sessions and up supply, but she's older and could understand that, i don't think a 20 month old would. i never did get the hang of nursing them both at once unless the older dd was doing some kind of silly acrobatic nursing, standing up, etc. okay, i'm not helping here, i wish i could reach through the computer and do something real. i can't imagine my dh saying such a thing at such a vulnerable time, and he can be a real jerk.


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## KittyMommy (Mar 21, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ladybugchild77* 
- Every time I sit down to nurse the baby I hear, "Nurse too! Nurse too!" from my toddler. I wouldn't mind nursing them at the same time but I cannot find a position that is comfy for all of us. Then dd#1 gets extremely upset and throws a huge tantrum...If I do nurse them together she just wants to pop on and off and look at thenew baby - cute but it makes me sore...

DS was, and still is, a COMPLETE me-too nurser, so I really had no choice but to nurse 'em at the same time. I found that what worked best for me in the beginning was to put DD (baby) in a football hold and then have DS (toddler) in a regular cradle hold across my lap. Since DS wouldn't sleep on his own unless he nursed into a coma first, I would often tuck DD in the ring sling, put her to nursing and then work on getting DS down for his nap. Then I could carry him to lie him down without disturbing DD. Also, having her in a sling and kind of tucked away under my arm was way less distracting for DS. (We usually nurse in a rocker/recliner or on the sofa).

Good luck with everything!


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## loomweaver (Aug 17, 2004)

Stephanie,
I feel your pain, my toddler has become a me-too nurser where before I could put her off a little in public or when I was busy by telling her, "In a minute" or "after lunch, naptime" etc..
Now she wails if she doesn't get it. EVEN IF The baby is not nursing. I second the pillow idea. Creative positioning lets me sleep at night.









As other's have said, I'm sorry about your dh, what awful timing. Hopefully he just is having some anxiety himself that will pass. I forget that my dh doesn't have this wonderful supportive group of ladies to bounce stuff off of.


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## provocativa (Jan 17, 2005)

Practice waiting games and expressions with your toddlers about other things besides nursing. We started with, now we're building a red lego tower and in a minute, we'll build a green one. Repeat repeat. Then Later, a blue tower. Move on to doing it with stuff they really want (part of a treat now, part later). Sometimes dd1 and I would just have conversations about waiting, like when we were riding in the car, etc. Also model waiting yourself and make a big deal out of it- say the kid doesn't want to get out of the bathtub, and you're glad to wait. . . .


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## chefjulie (Jan 3, 2004)

Hi mommas!

I am 36w2d today and have a DS (Andrew) who will be 3.5 around my due date (Christmas Eve!).

Andrew nurses at bedtime, some mornings ("wakey-milk") and throughout the day here and there ~ some days less, some more. I know I'll be nursing two in just a few short weeks!

I've read the thread a bit here and there and am hoping to glean some fantastic support and wisdom from you who have gone before me









My biggest concern right now (which I posted over on another area) is that my mom (who is my doula and quite open minded for the most part) and my DH are both over the top about how the baby is going to be "shafted" if I continue to nurse Andrew. Primarily they're frustrated with my "lets just let it play itself out" approach as they point out that there is a limited supply of colostrum and it is meant for the baby, not a 3.5 year old.

Any words of wisdom to help me deal with them?

I am looking forward to less engorgement (or at least help with it!) and for helping Andrew transition to his role as big brother through tandem nursing ~ yet I am so thrilled to read about the frustrations and difficulty that goes with this time period so that I am more prepared for reality!!

Thanks mommas - can't wait to join you "officially" (oh, wait! yes, I CAN wait a few more weeks! LOL)

Julie


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

Hi Julie! Welcome!









I have tandemed three sets of babes.







Everytime there was plenty of colostrum. With my last pregnancy I actually had so much of it in my last trimester I could squirt it across the room, just like milk. LOL I think there are so many women all over the world who tandem, our bodies know what to do.

I bet there is something in Adventures of Tandem Nursing...I need to find my copy.

GOod luck mama!


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## timneh_mom (Jun 13, 2005)

Julie - your baby won't be "shafted"! Everything will be fine! You will have colostrum until your milk comes in - and your milk comes in as a result of losing the hormones from your placenta plus suckling from your baby/toddler. It would be good to offer your colostrum to the baby first, but like milk, it does not "run out", you'll just replace it until your body gets the message that it's time to make milk again. Also, your baby will not need much, literally teaspoons!

I'm almost 30 weeks pregnant so I'm right behind you... I'm waiting to tandem too.


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## monkeys4mama (Apr 25, 2006)

I agree with the rest of the tandem mommies. Your new baby will do just fine and you will not shortchange the baby on colostrum b/c of tandem nursing. I have tandem nursed three sets of nurslings (including three at a time for almost two years) and the newborns have thrived.


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *monkeys4mama* 
I agree with the rest of the tandem mommies. Your new baby will do just fine and you will not shortchange the baby on colostrum b/c of tandem nursing. I have tandem nursed three sets of nurslings (including three at a time for almost two years) and the newborns have thrived.


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## chefjulie (Jan 3, 2004)

You mommas ROCK!

THANK YOU for sharing your personal stories and for reminding me that all things work out when you just let it.

In fact... my son at nearly 3.5 is just shy of 30 pounds ~ and I've read that older nurslings can put on weight as a result of the high/dense nutrition in the new baby milk... this would be a welcome and positive benefit! That, and all the imunological benefits of the colostrum will only help him during this flu season! See... I actually timed this baby better than I'd thought


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## provocativa (Jan 17, 2005)

seriously, chefjulie. my 3.5 yo is just over 30 lbs, and got back the chubby cheeks when the milk came in! my response to your dh and mom would be 'thanks for volunteering to distract/keep ds1 occupied completely during the first week'. . . my dd1 was actually so excited by the new baby (she was just barely 3 at the time) that she didn't nurse much colostrum. and i managed to make enough milk that dd2 is huge, dd 1 nursed a lot, and i still got a couple plugged ducts.


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chefjulie* 
You mommas ROCK!

THANK YOU for sharing your personal stories and for reminding me that all things work out when you just let it.

In fact... my son at nearly 3.5 is just shy of 30 pounds ~ and I've read that older nurslings can put on weight as a result of the high/dense nutrition in the new baby milk... this would be a welcome and positive benefit! That, and all the imunological benefits of the colostrum will only help him during this flu season! See... I actually timed this baby better than I'd thought









Oh yeah they do! Mine chunk up a lot! LOL


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## monkeys4mama (Apr 25, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamamoo* 

















And right back at ya! I can't tell you how wonderful it is to be able to come to this online community and find other tandem nursing moms, even ones who've tandemed three times, as I have. I love, love, love that I can come here and receive a pat on the back instead of a weird stare (or glare or worse) and that I can offer encouragement and support to others.









You mamas rock!


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## monkeys4mama (Apr 25, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *provocativa* 
seriously, chefjulie. my 3.5 yo is just over 30 lbs, and got back the chubby cheeks when the milk came in! my response to your dh and mom would be 'thanks for volunteering to distract/keep ds1 occupied completely during the first week'. . . .

ROTFLOL! Oh, I love this reply.























Quote:

my dd1 was actually so excited by the new baby (she was just barely 3 at the time) that she didn't nurse much colostrum. and i managed to make enough milk that dd2 is huge, dd 1 nursed a lot, and i still got a couple plugged ducts
I found that having my older nurslings nursing along with the baby reduced nipple soreness and helped my milk come in faster and also made my supply really good. If noone else has warned you though, the older nursling tends to revert to having really runny soft and frequent poops like a much younger baby. I wasn't too thrilled about that part since I always had two in diapers, but I could live with it. It's a lotta laundry though...


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## chefjulie (Jan 3, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *monkeys4mama* 
If noone else has warned you though, the older nursling tends to revert to having really runny soft and frequent poops like a much younger baby. I wasn't too thrilled about that part since I always had two in diapers, but I could live with it. It's a lotta laundry though...

Ah - this had been mentioned to me over two years ago when a good friend started to tandem and her daughter (who'd just turned 2) quit eating solids at all and went on a straight breastmilk diet!

My son self potty learned in February of last year (just past the 2.5y mark) but in the past month has had half dozen incidences with "mommy, I didn't make it to the bathroom to poop on time" ~~ I am going to have to be on top of that when the poop gets "runny soft and frequent"!

Thanks for the advice!

Oh, and I too, LOVE the "thanks for offering to keep him occupied for the first week or so!"


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## loomweaver (Aug 17, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chefjulie* 
Ah - this had been mentioned to me over two years ago when a good friend started to tandem and her daughter (who'd just turned 2) quit eating solids at all and went on a straight breastmilk diet!

My son self potty learned in February of last year (just past the 2.5y mark) but in the past month has had half dozen incidences with "mommy, I didn't make it to the bathroom to poop on time" ~~ I am going to have to be on top of that when the poop gets "runny soft and frequent"!

Thanks for the advice!

Oh, and I too, LOVE the "thanks for offering to keep him occupied for the first week or so!"


It's just too bad that the older nurslings poop SMELLS like toddler poop rather than breastmilk poop!








My DD1 is still regressing at a month past her brother's birth but I know that she is just going through a phase and it will pass. I'm not going to make any changes until after the holidays...

I'm reading all your posts and learning a lot, just don't have a lot of reply time right now....


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## jillmamma (Apr 11, 2005)

Ah yes...the runnier poop. When I was in the third trimester of pregnancy and my colostrum came back, at first I thought DS had diarrhea. I can say that his stools firmed back up again once he was back to a more usual nursing schedule.


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## chefjulie (Jan 3, 2004)

I am 37 weeks today and swear I have nuthin' in the boobages. Andrew still wants to nurse, but today told me that my right side is "closed"









When I had Andrew (at 39w1d) it was another 2-3 days before I even had colostrum and a full week before I had any real supply of milk.

I'd have thought that wouldn't be the case if I was still nursing, albeit a 3.5 year old who didnt nurse a LOT. Is it possible that my colostrum will still take a long time to come in or do you think I'll actually have something for this little one upon arrival?

I was so stressed and frustrated that I had nothing to offer my little guy last time - apart from the opportunity to practice...


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## Swandira (Jun 26, 2005)

Can I jump in? My almost-four-year-old and my nine-month-old both nurse. My older one pretty much weaned during my third trimester, but then when we brought the baby home from the hospital and my milk came in he asked to nurse too. He never went through much of a phase of nursing constantly, though -- when he started nursing again it was pretty much once a day, like it had been when I got pregnant with the second one. He's down to less than once a day now.

I'm finding I have a bit of self-consciousness about nursing a soon-to-be-four-year-old. That's just so far beyond our society's norm that I'm feeling a little anxious about my relatives finding it out when we visit for the holidays -- and they may find out. I'm trying so hard to just be cool about it, but I feel pretty anxious because I know it would probably be pretty shocking for my family.

Nealy
Mama to Thales, 12/9/02, and Lydia, 2/26/06


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## loomweaver (Aug 17, 2004)

Mu MIL and SIL were here o visit this past week and just left yesterday. They didn't say a thing about my 32 month old nursing but I was also a little self-concious in the beginning about it. They are also all in our bed and they didn't say anything about that either. My MIL was kinda a hippie when she was raising her kids so they were raised on a farm/commune in Des Moines and Austin as vegetarians doing TM. Now she is a NICU nurse.
Anyway, it was alright though.


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

chefjulie, you might not have an abundant supply at the moment, but as soon as your new one is here it changes! you'll have plenty of colustrum for two, and then when your milk comes in.....just be glad you have that extra nursling for the engorgement








your body will meet the demand! and your older nursling is going to be soooo happy to a lot of milk again he just might give up all other forms of nurishment for the next few months which is good for him (might be a little bit hard on you but remember it's not forever). and since it's just about winter, what a good time to be nursing extra!


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## hypatia (Apr 29, 2002)

*ChefJulie*:

My guess is your milk might come in faster this time because your older child can trigger it even more efficiently than your baby.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *swandira*
I'm finding I have a bit of self-consciousness about nursing a soon-to-be-four-year-old. That's just so far beyond our society's norm that I'm feeling a little anxious about my relatives finding it out when we visit for the holidays -- and they may find out. I'm trying so hard to just be cool about it, but I feel pretty anxious because I know it would probably be pretty shocking for my family.

I know. It's so much harder to be cool and composed and firm in your beliefs around your family than with anybody else, isn't it?


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## Airmid03 (Jul 31, 2005)

Hi can I join you guys? I'm nursing my 22 mo dd, Alex, and 1mo dd Sarah. We're doing pretty well so far. My biggest problem right now is figuring out how to nurse them at the same time. Most days Sarah nurses a LOT - almost constantly for several hours, thanks to her great nighttime sleeping. Alex gets a little jealous and gets pretty obnoxious when she's tired (throwing things, trying to push Sarah out of my lap, abusing the dog, etc). It's been difficult to get her to nap for a few months now and she probably only naps 3 days a week. The only way that I can get her to sleep is nursing. And the only way that I can nurse them together at this point isn't really conducive to sleep - I get Sarah in cradle hold, but with her legs out away from me rather than against me. Alex can then get in on the other side by kneeling next to me, but she can't lay down. I'm working on nursing them laying down, but it's difficult for us. I need both hands to get Sarah latched and she seems to get distracted easily and come unlatched. It gets frustrating for everyone. Any other suggestions on positions that would allow Alex to lay down?


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## gina871 (Feb 13, 2006)

This week I have been ready to wean my 4yr. She is very demanding. Any way has one heard about the mother who was stuck in the wilderness for 9 day with her 4 yr. and 7 month old. Both mom and daughters made out alive because she nursed both of them. That has given me new insight on keeping nursing my 4 year. Oh hopefully it will also shed some positive light on long term nursing.


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## KittyMommy (Mar 21, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Airmid03* 
Hi can I join you guys? I'm nursing my 22 mo dd, Alex, and 1mo dd Sarah. We're doing pretty well so far. My biggest problem right now is figuring out how to nurse them at the same time. Most days Sarah nurses a LOT - almost constantly for several hours, thanks to her great nighttime sleeping. Alex gets a little jealous and gets pretty obnoxious when she's tired (throwing things, trying to push Sarah out of my lap, abusing the dog, etc). It's been difficult to get her to nap for a few months now and she probably only naps 3 days a week. The only way that I can get her to sleep is nursing. And the only way that I can nurse them together at this point isn't really conducive to sleep - I get Sarah in cradle hold, but with her legs out away from me rather than against me. Alex can then get in on the other side by kneeling next to me, but she can't lay down. I'm working on nursing them laying down, but it's difficult for us. I need both hands to get Sarah latched and she seems to get distracted easily and come unlatched. It gets frustrating for everyone. Any other suggestions on positions that would allow Alex to lay down?

DS was 22 months when DD came along, and I had two things for getting DS to nap or sleep while nursing DD. For naps, my usual was to put DD in a ring sling in sort of a football hold (but with the sling holding her), get her latched on, then DS could be in my lap to nurse like he always did (toddler version of cradle hold). I also used a pillow to hold his head where it needed to be so I could have both arms free to fiddle with DD's latch or whatever. Once DS was deep asleep, I could use both arms to carry him over to the bed or sofa for the rest of his nap with DD just hanging in the sling. I'm a huge klutz, so I had to be VERY careful not to bang DD into something, but we came through okay!

At night, I would lie on my back and DS was basically in my armpit with his head kind of on my shoulder and he could get himself latched on fine. Then if I needed to I could reach that arm over his head so I could have two arms to work with DD. I put her belly down on my belly with her face over the boob to get her latched on. I had great supply so working against gravity wasn't a problem for me.

Also, get ahold of Adventures in Tandem nursing...a picture is worth a thousand word!!

Good luck...it really does get easier...

Jen


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## dharmama (Dec 29, 2002)

mamas!

I've totally missed this thread up 'til now! Glad to see it!









I'm Erin. Tandem nursing mama to my 2.5 year old DD and my 7 month old DS. In the past 7 months I've run the gamet of emotions, including starting the weaning process with my DD because I just. could. not. deal with tandem nursing.







: But...I'm happy to say that we've worked through the toughest times and I'm REALLY enjoying tandem nursing now!!!


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

tandem bump!


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

Yay! So glad I found the tribe again! Thanks LW for sending the link! No wonder I couldn't find it I was looking in the tribal section. LOL

So...my newest dilema is to tri-tandem nurse or not. Everyone is assuming I am going to wean My older kiddo, but I think it would be harder(he is very high needs). WOuld has nursed three kids and lived to tell the tale?


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## jillmamma (Apr 11, 2005)

Welcome Erin and mamamoo!

mamamoo, kirstie is nursing all 4 of her kids now...I bet she has lots of words of wisdom on nursing 3!









My oldest just turned 4 last week, and so now I am nursing a 4 year old and a 15 month old.


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## KittyMommy (Mar 21, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jillmamma* 
My oldest just turned 4 last week, and so now I am nursing a 4 year old and a 15 month old.

Hee-hee.







My boy turned four the day after your four year old. My little one is a bit bigger though (turned two in October).

It is clear, however, that we are going to be tandeming for quite a bit longer!







:


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

Oh, cool, hopefully she'll post.







Sam is four(Nov 29th), and there is no end in site, though he informed me today that he'll just take a few drinks and then the new baby can have some.








Violet just turned 2 on the 11th, and she is of course still nursing all the time. I just don't know if I have it in me to nurse 3. I def. need to encourage Sam to nightwean. I am SO tired!


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## jillmamma (Apr 11, 2005)

I could not imagine nursing 2 or 3 kids at night! Thankfully for me, DS was nightweaned before I got pg again...that was actually one of the conditions DH and I had in mind before we had another kid...get the first one to sleep all night first! DD is still waking once or twice at night to nurse, but I think part of her deal is teeth. I noticed DS was finally sleeping all night after he got his first set of molars and all those eye teeth in. I am hoping DD will nightwean herself once she gets all her teeth in too.


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## theboysmama (Sep 21, 2005)

I'd like to join. I am tandem nursing again. My nurslings are 2 1/2yrs and 2 1/2 wks. I also tandem nursed w/ ds1and2 for 14 months and have nursed through several pg's. Would love to get and share advice and get to know all of you mamas.
nicole


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

congrats Mamamoo (are your preggers?) and wonderful you are strongly considering the triadem world. I have no regrets as far as nursing 1, 2, 3, and now 4. i do however wonder if any of my little ones are ever going to wean. but then my 1st 2 have been really sick the last 2 days, one is already better and the other is almost there. and i was so grateful to nurse them. nothing get's a child through illness like ninners. and my younger 2 have not gotten it (though i have it)!
the best advice i got is from another triandem nurser at MDC (she by the way triandemed twice and is probably still nursing 3)....she told me to get an hour glass timer. the kids love to watch the sand fall! the problem with 3 is that you only have 2 breasts and your bound to come across at time when all 3 need to nurse (you get real good at timing, so that this doesn't occur much). It's called a bottleneck, and the older two will take turns nursing usually for a minute or two at time. alternating until they are done.
i think it's great for sibling bonding! i have real close kids and they all love their new brother...they dote on him!
it took a couple of months to get used to triandem (when#3 was born). i told myself mentally that i could do a year. it was just for a year (my 1st was just about to turn 4 when #3 arrived). it didn't matter if he weaned before or not...i just needed the mental picture to get through the rough times. by the time a year came around i was too used to the 3 to really care if #1 was going to wean or not.
#4 was a little bit of suprise, but things worked out. and while my 3rd pregnancy was my roughest (very low milk supply, lots of nausea and vomiting, etc) my 4th preg i had a better supply and my baby was 10 1/2 pounds.

but, taking on 3 kids (well, in your case, you have more) is something you have to get used to whether you nurse any of them, or all of them, or none. and it's been rewarding overall!


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## loomweaver (Aug 17, 2004)

:
Amen to the nursing through sickness.
My older is sick and getting over a cold quickly and the baby shows NO signs of it even though sharing nipples!


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jillmamma* 
I could not imagine nursing 2 or 3 kids at night! Thankfully for me, DS was nightweaned before I got pg again...that was actually one of the conditions DH and I had in mind before we had another kid...get the first one to sleep all night first! DD is still waking once or twice at night to nurse, but I think part of her deal is teeth. I noticed DS was finally sleeping all night after he got his first set of molars and all those eye teeth in. I am hoping DD will nightwean herself once she gets all her teeth in too.









Yeah, this wasn't in the plans for me . LOL My older two kids nightweaned ith little help right around three, I thought for sure SAm would too, but alas my 4 yr old boy is still waking almost every single night. Violet doesn't night nurse every night, but most nights or early mornings...I am just not sure how it will be with three.







I am already so tired.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kirstie* 
congrats Mamamoo (are your preggers?) and wonderful you are strongly considering the triadem world. I have no regrets as far as nursing 1, 2, 3, and now 4. i do however wonder if any of my little ones are ever going to wean. but then my 1st 2 have been really sick the last 2 days, one is already better and the other is almost there. and i was so grateful to nurse them. nothing get's a child through illness like ninners. and my younger 2 have not gotten it (though i have it)!
the best advice i got is from another triandem nurser at MDC (she by the way triandemed twice and is probably still nursing 3)....she told me to get an hour glass timer. the kids love to watch the sand fall! the problem with 3 is that you only have 2 breasts and your bound to come across at time when all 3 need to nurse (you get real good at timing, so that this doesn't occur much). It's called a bottleneck, and the older two will take turns nursing usually for a minute or two at time. alternating until they are done.
i think it's great for sibling bonding! i have real close kids and they all love their new brother...they dote on him!
it took a couple of months to get used to triandem (when#3 was born). i told myself mentally that i could do a year. it was just for a year (my 1st was just about to turn 4 when #3 arrived). it didn't matter if he weaned before or not...i just needed the mental picture to get through the rough times. by the time a year came around i was too used to the 3 to really care if #1 was going to wean or not.
#4 was a little bit of suprise, but things worked out. and while my 3rd pregnancy was my roughest (very low milk supply, lots of nausea and vomiting, etc) my 4th preg i had a better supply and my baby was 10 1/2 pounds.

but, taking on 3 kids (well, in your case, you have more) is something you have to get used to whether you nurse any of them, or all of them, or none. and it's been rewarding overall!

THANK YOU! THis was a total surprise, we were being really careful, so I don't even know how far along I am(I had a weird period in Nov, so I *might be 9 weeks already). I am sure it'll be ok, I am just scared and I have so much outside pressure. DId oyu have anyone pressuring you to wean any of them? How was your hubby about the whole thing? Mine has been extremely supportive the last 9 yrs especially considering his upbringing. But he has mentioned weaning Sam a few times already...<sigh>


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

mamamoo, i had no pressures to wean (except from the 1st mw i interviewed and nutrition wise she wanted one of them weaned, but the mw i used was very supportive). most people IRL just assume my boys aren't nursing. they cannot comprehend bf past a few months so it just doesn't get brought up. and the ones that do nurse longer are supportive no matter what you do!
my dh is 100 % on board! and his family wouldn't tell me if they didn't approve. my dad is supportive and is interested in my nursing from a biological, anthropological living example!
i think your dh might be sensing some of your worry's and is only trying to fix it for you. but, i'm only guessing. i think once you've wrapped your brain around this suprise (that was how my 4th one was, but he is such a blessing) he'll be 100 % supportive again.


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kirstie* 
mamamoo, i had no pressures to wean (except from the 1st mw i interviewed and nutrition wise she wanted one of them weaned, but the mw i used was very supportive). most people IRL just assume my boys aren't nursing. they cannot comprehend bf past a few months so it just doesn't get brought up. and the ones that do nurse longer are supportive no matter what you do!
my dh is 100 % on board! and his family wouldn't tell me if they didn't approve. my dad is supportive and is interested in my nursing from a biological, anthropological living example!
i think your dh might be sensing some of your worry's and is only trying to fix it for you. but, i'm only guessing. i think once you've wrapped your brain around this suprise (that was how my 4th one was, but he is such a blessing) he'll be 100 % supportive again.

I bet you are right about my hubby, he is a total fixer. I think he worries also about my lack of sleep because sometimes I can be, ummm...not so nice?







LOL I am 99.9% sure that Sam will still be nursing when the new baby comes, but man, someday I would love to have just one nursling.


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

i have days too where nursing one would be.....nice


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## chefjulie (Jan 3, 2004)

Well, we didn't have a problem with grandma and the colostrum... baby arrived three weeks early and gma didn't make it!

She got her when Elizabeth was already 6 days old and missed the stress about colostrum and even missed most of the engorgement which was helped by my 3.5 year old son.

Gma is living with us for another two weeks and we're dealing with:

1. "wash your nipples well between them" - my son has a runny nose and ran a fever for one day (which I didn't medicate since he wasn't acting different and I am a believer in burning off the bad bugs naturally). Mom is concerned that if I don't wash my nipples between nursing, I am going to give the baby a cold...

2. "she really needs to get the milk that you're making - it's hers - he does not need to continue nursing right now" and yet, right now when his life is totally up in chaos, I feel he needs to have his dee dee more than ever. He was down to nursing to sleep and maybe once or twice during the day (boo boos, etc) but now its pretty much a constant chant "can I have some dee dee? dee dee now? how 'bout now?"

3. "She's really jaundiced and needs as much milk as you can give her - how about rather than letting Andrew nurse, you pump and we'll give supplemental bottles to flush the biliruben through faster" -- obviously this is a two fold issue --- don't let him nurse... and supplementing...

4. "how do you know that she's getting enough milk when you let him nurse? He empties a breast faster - how do you know which side to nurse on?"

So - advice mommas?

There were a few days where I felt my milk supply was low - guessing that my left breast just regulated faster than my right - but basically neither really "engorge" at all and so of course I was in a panic that I had no milk for her... She's 17 days old now and sleeps almost too well at night - and today has been really sleepy.

I have been doing single side nursing the past two days - he gets the left and she gets the right. The right seems to fill faster and so I figured to give her that one so that I know for a fact that she's emptying and its filling again before she is hungry again. It also eliminates the need to wash the nips between feedings!

I think I had trouble with my supply when I was feeling anxiety about tandeming around my mom. Yesterday I told her, in tears, that we're all done discussing it and that it is going to affect my milk in a negative way. If I'm nursing two, I should be making milk for two and I didn't feel that I was even making enough for one... we haven't talked about it again since. She *is* really supportive and honestly just wants the best for the baby and for me - I think its just hard for her to see a 3.5 year old nurse as it is so out of her comfort zone.


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

oh mama. I am so sorry you are dealing with that.







I am glad you told her to leave you alone about it. I have never ever ever washed my nips between the kids. And i also do the each kid gets their own side to keep my sanity. We swittch it up now and then, but I promise you don't need to worry too much about it. ALso my breasts seem to regulate sooner and sooner with each baby, so I don't feel that full feeling much at all after a week or so. Serioulsy I know it is hard for your mama, but she needs to respect oyur wishes, just because your ds is 3.4 doesn't mean the emotional need is gone, and I swear it helps with sibling rivalry a ton. Hang in there and congratualtions on your bundle of joy.


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## provocativa (Jan 17, 2005)

Chefjulie, your nipples have a natural lubricant on them to protect them, washing them can really dry them out, and then they crack, and watch out! When my mom was nursing me she said she could't use soap at all, or her nipples would suffer. I'm sure you can make enough milk for two. But if that's her way of volunteering to go to the health food store and get you steel cut oatmeal, quinoa, and mother's milk tea, well, how nice of her to offer!


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## chefjulie (Jan 3, 2004)

Thank you both so much for your support and encouragement. It is hard when I know that my mom (who nursed four kids in the late 60's/early 70's - including a pair of twins) is supportive of breastfeeding and doesn't want to cause issues but who is just uncomfortable with "extended breastfeeding" when it is past 2 - 2.5 (yeah, she's ok with it up until then!







)

I know too, that this is just for the holidays now - as she came here to help with the baby and will be here until the 29th - and I need to just be calm and resolved about how it is going to be around here.

Again, thanks for your support - I have a cold now too and I know that my ability to cope is WAY lessened!


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

chefjulie (congrats on baby and welcome to the wonderful world of tandeming),also tell your mom if she truely wants to help you out, that she can get you a tall glass of water everytime she sees you sitting down to nurse. keeping yourself hydrated (especially at this time of year) is your best ally.
.


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## chefjulie (Jan 3, 2004)

Thanks Kirstie







Mom HAS been bringing me a tall glass of water every time I sit down - whether to nurse or not!









It HAS increased my need for Poise pads though - as I peed the couch last night


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## chefjulie (Jan 3, 2004)

So now my little one has the sneezes, sniffles and is generally not feeling well. My son threw up two nights ago and I've had sinus pressure and felt miserable for a few days. I know for a fact that the little one is getting GREAT antibodies to more than one illness -- but it doesn't help all that much when she's miserable









Other than nursing and nursing and nursing, is there any advice? Can I do eucalyptus on her chest to help her breathe (on a cloth, not directly on her)? I did breastmilk up her nose and she is breathing better after sneezing it all out...


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## provocativa (Jan 17, 2005)

I got eucalyptus soap on my 3 month old, and a horrible raging rash ensued, I almost took her to the emergency room, but some homeopathic sulphur cleared it up like magic. So don't get any on her! But I would also drop some on the vaporizer at night (which did not bother my dd, nor did waving the bottle under her nose). Also, make a bathroom steam room for her. I bet she gets better faster than any of you, that's the way it went in our house.


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## loomweaver (Aug 17, 2004)

Now me and DD are both stuffy nosed







: and baby still shows no signs of any illness....


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## chefjulie (Jan 3, 2004)

Thanks for the hint about eucalyptus!

I put wiseways mamas herbal cough balm under my breast so when she nursed, the vapors riss to help. Did it once - didn't seem to need it anymore. She nurses fine - but then gets snurgly when I lay her down... so I just don't


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## charligrl03 (Dec 27, 2006)

I am just totally fascinated that there even is such a thing as tandem triandem and even 4??? I couldn't imagine!!! I give you mom's sooo much credit for preservering through with nursing more than one child!!! I have one question though...I have always been told...while in the hospital that the newbies need that colostrum that comes in before the milk...I don't understand how the baby would benefit...if the toddlers are getting it? And with all that colostrum aren't the toddlers gaining lots of weight? I am a mom of 3 boys and prlly not worthy of my membership being as all were born in the hospital and circumsized and the two oldest only nursed for a year...but I am very very intrigued by this tandem thing!


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## supa (Jul 18, 2005)

Hi there! I'm not sure what the protocol is here, but i have a question for all of you more experienced folks! I'm not pregnant yet, but dh and I have been talking about starting soon to have dc #2. ds is 20 months and loooooves to nurse. I'm just wondering if any of you have any advice on preparing one child for the arrival of a second visa vi breastfeeding. For instance, he nurses to sleep and I love to do that with him. We co-sleep and hope to be able to have a big ol' family bed. Also, I'm nervous about painful nursing while pregnant. I had such a rough pregnancy with him (9 full months of horrendous "morning" sickness, blood clots, premature contractions that lead to modified bedrest, etc.) that I'm concerned already about how my body may be just being pregnant the second time, let alone nursing my sweetie. I would be very sad to have him wean or to have to wean him as I love our nursing relationship, but I would like to do whatever I can to make the transition to sharing the nums that much more smooth, if possible.

If this is the wrong place to post this, let me know!

TIA!
Dara (DS 20 mo)


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

charlene, you are a great mama, and you are very worthy to post here!!! and i'm know i'm not the only mama that thinks that here!!!

supa,
not all pregancies are the same. i don't know what obstacles you'll encounteer, but i do know (after4 , and 4 thank G 4 full term healthy) that they are all different pregnancy wise. ya know., all my babies were suprises (especially the 4th)cept #3 which was a girl, were suprises. i font know how to give an opinion in your situation.

celeste, i hope all is well with you. this is your thread, please let us know if you need guidance or all is well.

tandeming isn't always easy, but nothing about nursing is........ and if you didn't nurse...............


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## jillmamma (Apr 11, 2005)

Charlene, it is amazing how your body adjusts to make enough milk for whoever needs it. Otherwise, how would moms of twins do it?









Dara, Matthew was just turned 2 when I got pg with Michelle, and was (and is) a major comfort nurser. I waited till about 1/2 way through my pregnancy to say much about it with him as that would have been an awful long wait for a 2 year old. Towards the end, we checked out some books from the library about getting a new sibling, and I made sure to find some with pictures of the baby nursing. I also told him when the baby was born, she would need to have "muh" too. He adjusted really well, and especially since there is still "muh" for him, has had no problems sharing with her. Good luck!


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## supa (Jul 18, 2005)

thanks jillmama and kirstie. and you had no real difficulties bf during pregnancy? i'd love the names of the books you found the most helpful. i think a huge amount of the preparation is for me, because i've got a lot of sadness about changing up ds's life so much and i need to get more towards the excitment of bringing a new one into our family.

thanks for your responses,
dara


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## ladybugchild77 (Jun 18, 2004)

Haven't been around much - lots of stuff going on. Both kids have Rotavirus - yey for BF but my poor sore nipples want a break! And it's my birthday too - not how I pictured spending it - gotta go call the ped while I am not chaging sheets...take care Mamas and I will write more soon!!!


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## MotherWhimsey (Mar 21, 2005)

can I join? my dd is 32 mos, and ds is 2 weeks. ds is nursing pretty well, he has a great latch. But the whole tandem thing is kind of annoying me right now cause dd wants to nurse more than ds. I mean all the time. Boobies are the answer to everything. And she's not just asking, she's demanding, and super persistant, won't take no for an answer and singing "i want a boobie" all the time. It's kind of making me batty.


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## crysmomofthree (Mar 18, 2004)

ing:


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## Shell_Ell (Jun 13, 2005)

Hi, another joining in. I posted a thread yesterday in Breastfeeding and got one response telling me to come here. LOL!

DS is 15.5 months. I am 16 weeks pregnant and my milk is just about gone, aside from a few drops here and there. I think DS is weaning and it's been really really hard to cope with that thought.

It's nice to read some children continue to nurse even when there is no milk. I'm still holding onto hope that DS won't wean, but I'm trying to prepare myself.


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## crittersmom (Mar 24, 2005)

Checking in to say I just found out week before last that I'm not only pregnant but I'm halfway through and due in May!







: I think I might have to look up triandem nursing although there are some days when DS doesn't ask to nurse.
Gotta go and look at the old posts.


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## provocativa (Jan 17, 2005)

supa, I would disagree with many of these moms. I think with a child only 20 months old, he is too young for you to TTC. Accidents happen, I know, but I think kids deserve to nurse at least until they're 2.5, and you never know if your milk will dry up during a pg. But then, my mom was a la leche league leader, so I remember my sister nursing till she was almost 4! My nipples hurt excruciatingly when I was pregnant, my daughter was 26 months old when I got pregnant, and less serious about comfort nursing by then. But I do think our relationship suffered because it was too painful for longer nursing sessions, and I think that would be traumatic for a younger kiddo who was really into nursing. Plus she also lost quite a bit of weight. DD1 turned 3 a couple weeks after dd2 was born. Now that she's 3.5 and very helpful, I wish I'd gotten pregnant just a few months later, so that I could have guided her over the 3 yo obstinancies with more focused attention (and more exercise, lol). Adventures in Tandem Nursing is the book you're looking for, though!


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ladybugchild77* 
Haven't been around much - lots of stuff going on. Both kids have Rotavirus - yey for BF but my poor sore nipples want a break! And it's my birthday too - not how I pictured spending it - gotta go call the ped while I am not chaging sheets...take care Mamas and I will write more soon!!!

Hope you are well soon. Wehad rotovirus tice in the last few months, and it SUCKS!







I'm sorry you are going through that now. On the bright side your milk will help them get over it so much faster! Health to you mama!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MotherWhimsey* 
can I join? my dd is 32 mos, and ds is 2 weeks. ds is nursing pretty well, he has a great latch. But the whole tandem thing is kind of annoying me right now cause dd wants to nurse more than ds. I mean all the time. Boobies are the answer to everything. And she's not just asking, she's demanding, and super persistant, won't take no for an answer and singing "i want a boobie" all the time. It's kind of making me batty.

My 4 yr old had been doing this too. I finally just started counting nursing sessions to keep me sane. I am nursing a 2 yr old, 4 yr old, and pregnant, with milk going bye bye. When my 4 yr old wants to nurse I ask him how many drinks, he gives me a number, then I count while he nurses(usually to 10), then he usually"sneaks" a few more drinks which makes him laugh, and that uaually tides him over for a bit. I think he is finally almost nightweaned using this meathod too. He was waking frequently to nurse through the night, and now it's once(even slept throught he might a few times recently), we count to 10 once or twice then he is fine and goes back to sleep. I am in heaven with this method. Not sure if it'll work for you, but thought I'd mention it. Seems like the more I put SAm off the more crazy, and insistent he would get, and the more often he would ask. GOod luck!









Quote:


Originally Posted by *crysmomofthree* 







ing:









hey mama!









Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shell_Ell* 
Hi, another joining in. I posted a thread yesterday in Breastfeeding and got one response telling me to come here. LOL!

DS is 15.5 months. I am 16 weeks pregnant and my milk is just about gone, aside from a few drops here and there. I think DS is weaning and it's been really really hard to cope with that thought.

It's nice to read some children continue to nurse even when there is no milk. I'm still holding onto hope that DS won't wean, but I'm trying to prepare myself.

All of my kids have nursed through with little to no milk.







Even if your ds doesn't, he might start again once the baby comes.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *crittersmom* 
Checking in to say I just found out week before last that I'm not only pregnant but I'm halfway through and due in May!







: I think I might have to look up triandem nursing although there are some days when DS doesn't ask to nurse.
Gotta go and look at the old posts.

WOW! That is so amazing! A lot to adjust to there!







CONGRATULATIONS! We are on the road to triandeming I believe also, I can't wait to hear of your experience. LOL HOw old are your kiddos?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *provocativa* 
supa, I would disagree with many of these moms. I think with a child only 20 months old, he is too young for you to TTC. Accidents happen, I know, but I think kids deserve to nurse at least until they're 2.5, and you never know if your milk will dry up during a pg. But then, my mom was a la leche league leader, so I remember my sister nursing till she was almost 4! My nipples hurt excruciatingly when I was pregnant, my daughter was 26 months old when I got pregnant, and less serious about comfort nursing by then. But I do think our relationship suffered because it was too painful for longer nursing sessions, and I think that would be traumatic for a younger kiddo who was really into nursing. Plus she also lost quite a bit of weight. DD1 turned 3 a couple weeks after dd2 was born. Now that she's 3.5 and very helpful, I wish I'd gotten pregnant just a few months later, so that I could have guided her over the 3 yo obstinancies with more focused attention (and more exercise, lol). Adventures in Tandem Nursing is the book you're looking for, though!

You know that is a very personal decision, some moms may want thier kids close together, a LOT of kiddos do not wean, and a lot of moms only experience a little or no discomfort. I have a 9 yr old, 7.5 yr old, 4 yr old, and 2 yr old. My oldest weaned at 4(nursed him through pregnancy, he was 7 months old when I got pregnant), my dd weaned a month before she turned 5(nursed her through pregnancy, miscarriage, and pregnancy again), my 4 yr old was nursed through pregnancy, and is still nursing, and obvioulsy my 2 yr old is still nursing. Each one of my experiences was different in milk production, pain, and all of my kids nursedw throwugh with little to no difficulty. It is wonderful for kids to nurse for as long as possible, but even if a kiddo was to wean at 2 because of a pregnancy, that is still a WONDEFUL start to life.


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## supa (Jul 18, 2005)

hey there--

for what it's worth, i'm not going to be ttc for at least a few months. probably not until the summer, actually, and it's really hard for me to think of ds not getting the nursing that he's used to! i love our nursing relationship and i'm not ready for it to stop. however, i am going to be turning 38 this summer and i don't want to wait too much longer to have our second. i'm hoping that my nipples don't get too sore, that he wants to continue to nurse even if there's not a lot of milk, that we all enjoy the addition to our family, and that the next pregnancy is extremely different from my first. i wish it were an "easier" decision.

--dara

p.s. i already have adventures in tandem nursing (haven't started reading it yet). i thought maybe there were kids books that addressed these issues.


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

Oh, I wonder if there are. I would love a kids book on a nursling expecting a new baby!







I might just hae to get my pen to paper.


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## wildgarden (Jan 6, 2007)

I am so excited to find this tribe! I think I may be pregnant again and I am nursing my 14 mo. old son. I hope to keep nursing throughout the pregnancy (if I am pregnant) and then tadem nurse.

I ovulated last Friday so I guess I will know for sure if I am pregnant soon. Can I join?


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## KittyMommy (Mar 21, 2004)

Okay guys, I saw this and it kind of put tandeming into a better perspective!


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KittyMommy* 
Okay guys, I saw this and it kind of put tandeming into a better perspective!

















that is so funny! ANd I am SO GLAD I only have 2 nipples!


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## loomweaver (Aug 17, 2004)

Mamamoo!!!

I LOVE your DDDDC!


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## loomweaver (Aug 17, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamamoo* 
Oh, I wonder if there are. I would love a kids book on a nursling expecting a new baby!







I might just hae to get my pen to paper.









There is a new book out called Near Mama's Heart
http://www.mybabyandmore.com/NearMamasHeart.html
or
http://www.amazon.com/Near-Mamas-Hea.../dp/1412079195

It has a variety of nursing situations in it, maybe preg?
It was favorably reviewed in Hip Mama


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

Thanks.









That book looks really cute!


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## lanielayne (Jun 13, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KittyMommy* 
Okay guys, I saw this and it kind of put tandeming into a better perspective!










That's great! My momma cat is still nursing her one and only kitten and kitten is 14 weeks old! I guess I have set a good example!









I am new here. I am Lanie and nursing my 30 month old dd and I am 36 weeks pg so will be tandeming soon! It will be fun, I think. Dd is so excited about it! She talks all the time about how she will nurse like this and baby will be here and nursing like this, etc.

I do have a question for all of you that I can't seem to get many answers for. I have been having alot of strong contracts when I nurse and for awhle after. I am wondering if this might help labor come a bit earlier. Opinions?


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

Congratulations! It will be fun.









About the labor thing, I really think it depends on the person. I have nursed through a few times now, and each one was different. MY dd1 was 4 days "late", my ds was 2 weeks early, and my last little one was a day "late". I nursed a lot with all of them. I do know that some people have had problems with preterm labor though. So like I said it all just depends.


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## jillmamma (Apr 11, 2005)

Labor question...it did not make a difference for me. DS was born at 37 weeks, nursed all through pregnancy with DD, and she was born at 39 weeks.


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## supa (Jul 18, 2005)

check out these links:

http://www.pregnancy.org/article.php?sid=3035

http://nursingtwo.kellymom.com/excer...scarriage.html

re: nursing and pregnancy.

--dara


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## loomweaver (Aug 17, 2004)

Just checking in,
Still going strong, my DD sometimes is getting on my nerves nursing and I am trying not to let her know that.
She's all about "me too" when her baby brother nurses









Oh well.
I love them both and woul;dnt have it any other way


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

any birth announcements?


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## AspenRayne (Jul 3, 2005)

Hi ladies.....I have been subscribed to this thread for awhile and learning what I can from you ladies.

I just had my son, Oren, on Dec 27th and have officially been tandeming him and my 2yo DD since! So far things are going pretty well, although my nips are sore from so much use! We are working on boundaries with my DD b/c she wants to nurse everytime I nurse Oren, but she seems to be doing ok overall other than acting out more than usual. I try to have dedicated 1-on-1 time with ehr each day and it seems to help. She is mostly very loving and eager to help out with the little guy.

Anyway, I have my birth story with great pics a friend of mine took on my blog which can be found here:
http://blog.myspace.com/aspenraynedragon

I'm glad to now be officially part of this tribe!


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## monkeys4mama (Apr 25, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AspenRayne* 
I just had my son, Oren, on Dec 27th and have officially been tandeming him and my 2yo DD since!
I'm glad to now be officially part of this tribe!


Congratulations! Welcome baby Oren. And welcome to the tandem nursing tribe mama! Have a blessed babymoon.


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## katarn (Apr 23, 2005)

ooh ooh can i join!!! i'm 17 weeks preggers and nursing my 20 mo. old.. he has definitely cut down a bit but i'm sure we'll make it through to the other side.

so please tell me there is hope for my sore.. sore nipples.. when the baby is born and the milk is replenished to the nipples get better???









please say yes ... please say yes


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## loomweaver (Aug 17, 2004)

Congrats Melissa on Oren's birth!
Am I reading correctly that he was born on his EDD?
Your birth story was beautiful.

Welcome to tandeming


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## jillmamma (Apr 11, 2005)

Melissa, what a beautiful birth story, and especially beautiful baby!









Kat, yes the sore nipples DO get better! I found that when nursing while pg that making sure I drank plenty of water made a difference too. I found that during the really newborn stage, my nipples got a little sore just because her latch was different from his, but quickly resolved once she figured things out better.

Last month I had the "joy" of getting my first PPAF back since the birth of DD, and now I have been feeling really PMSy the last few days, but no AF yet. It came back pretty regular after having DS, though with a short luteal phase that gradually lengthened. Did you find that tandeming made a difference in AF's regularity vs. just nursing one?

Also, I am officially now nursing two kids who can verbally ask for their milk! DD just started saying "muh? muh?" now as well as signing milk when she wants to nurse.









It is very interesting nursing a toddler and a preschooler. Sometimes they both lay quietly and hold hands and giggle at each other, other times he is pushing her away, and she is trying to kick him. She is definitely way more wiggly while nursing than he ever was, but she has been that way since in the womb, so it makes sense.


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jillmamma* 
Last month I had the "joy" of getting my first PPAF back since the birth of DD, and now I have been feeling really PMSy the last few days, but no AF yet. It came back pretty regular after having DS, though with a short luteal phase that gradually lengthened. Did you find that tandeming made a difference in AF's regularity vs. just nursing one?

Also, I am officially now nursing two kids who can verbally ask for their milk! DD just started saying "muh? muh?" now as well as signing milk when she wants to nurse.









It is very interesting nursing a toddler and a preschooler. Sometimes they both lay quietly and hold hands and giggle at each other, other times he is pushing her away, and she is trying to kick him. She is definitely way more wiggly while nursing than he ever was, but she has been that way since in the womb, so it makes sense.

ONce I got my af back I was always very regular, never a missed period or anything. Sure you aren't pregnant?








I know what you mean about the toddler/preschooler thing. It is so sweet sometimes, and yet just so plain hard sometimes.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AspenRayne* 
Hi ladies.....I have been subscribed to this thread for awhile and learning what I can from you ladies.

I just had my son, Oren, on Dec 27th and have officially been tandeming him and my 2yo DD since! So far things are going pretty well, although my nips are sore from so much use! We are working on boundaries with my DD b/c she wants to nurse everytime I nurse Oren, but she seems to be doing ok overall other than acting out more than usual. I try to have dedicated 1-on-1 time with ehr each day and it seems to help. She is mostly very loving and eager to help out with the little guy.

Anyway, I have my birth story with great pics a friend of mine took on my blog which can be found here:
http://blog.myspace.com/aspenraynedragon

I'm glad to now be officially part of this tribe!

WOW! WHat an amazing, inspiring birth story. You have a beautiful family.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *katarn* 
ooh ooh can i join!!! i'm 17 weeks preggers and nursing my 20 mo. old.. he has definitely cut down a bit but i'm sure we'll make it through to the other side.

so please tell me there is hope for my sore.. sore nipples.. when the baby is born and the milk is replenished to the nipples get better???









please say yes ... please say yes

Oh, yes! It gets much better! I can't believe I forget about the pain of nursing while pregnant everytime. Mine is not unbearable, but it is definitely uncomfortable. Hang in there! I promise it gets better!


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## jillmamma (Apr 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamamoo* 
ONce I got my af back I was always very regular, never a missed period or anything. Sure you aren't pregnant?









Pretty sure...







I am charting and I don't even think I have ovulated yet this cycle. Here is my chart if you are interested. Jill's Chart


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

guess that is not it then. I have no clue how to read the charts, wish I did.


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## katarn (Apr 23, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamamoo* 
Oh, yes! It gets much better! I can't believe I forget about the pain of nursing while pregnant everytime. Mine is not unbearable, but it is definitely uncomfortable. Hang in there! I promise it gets better!


Quote:

Kat, yes the sore nipples DO get better! I found that when nursing while pg that making sure I drank plenty of water made a difference too. I found that during the really newborn stage, my nipples got a little sore just because her latch was different from his, but quickly resolved once she figured things out better.
thank you for responding.. and thanks for the tip about the water.


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## FillingMyQuiver (Jul 20, 2004)

Oooohh.... a tandem nursing tribe!!! I haven't been to the bfing forum in soooo long, I'm happy to see a group of mamas who are doing what I'm doing









I'm Jenn. I'm currently tandem nursing my 33mo DS and 14mo DD. I'm the only person I know IRL who tandems







Some of my family gives me grief about it, "don't you feel like a cow nursing all day long?"







: and some are just amazed that I've stuck w/ it for so long.

I just got my first AF since DD was born about 2 weeks ago, so I guess I'll be starting to chart ASAP







I just need some consistent sleep







: Has anyone tandem nursed while pg?? DH and I are not trying to avoid or trying to conceive, we're just open to life. If I got pg, I'm not sure either of my kids would wean, they're both REALLY attached to their milk







Dinner's ready, gotta go...


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

Welcome mama!

I am currently 11 weeks and tandeming through, it is tough on me, mostly ythe sleep issue. I am so tired all the time, and both my 4 and 2 yr old still wake to nurse at night.
So glad you found us!!


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## jillmamma (Apr 11, 2005)

Welcome, Jenn! I don't know anyone IRL who tandem nurses either. I get some of the same comments, but for me, life is EASIER because I am letting my kids self wean...I don't have to come up with substitutes for nursing...I let them develop as my kids are ready. Like today, my 4 yo DS was at preschool, and I needed 16 mo DD to nap right away so she would sleep long enough before we had to leave to pick him up, and I offered her some milk, she took right to that and went right to sleep!







Also, my kids are a bit older than yours, and I set limits if I start getting a bit burned out, especially with the older one. At 4, he can understand that most of the time mama only wants to nurse morning and night, but sometimes we can sneak an extra session during the day if we need to. The little one still pretty much nurses on demand, so this helps me keep my sanity.


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

congrats AspenRayne and welcome to the tandem world! looking forward to reading your story. it might take a few months for your dd to go back to her normal nursing schedule. if she nurses as much as the baby it's very normal!

congrats on your preg, Katarn. just like Jillmama said, drink lots of water. drinking enough water for me whether preg or not is the difference between a blissful nursing session or sensitive, sore, and/or biting nursings!

FillingmyQuiver, i've tandem nursed thru my last two pregs and the kiddo's always made it thru, even if the supply dropped off.

jillmama, the first round of tandeming i got AF back after about 16 mos. i was regular, cept the luteal phase (that's the days of bleeding, correct?). normally i'm a 2 1/2 day bleeder, so i was very suprised to bleed for 5 days. but after about 6 mos it got back to normal (each month is tapered off a day or half day). we decided to concieve the 8th mos after AF and it took that same month.

mamamoo! hugs to you. hope your 2nd tri is easier and you feel more rested. hoping your nurslings will not need you as much during the sleeping hours.


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## katarn (Apr 23, 2005)

kirstie.. i was looking at your siggie.. are all four of your kiddos nursing??? If so bravo...

just wondering


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

yep, i have 4 ninnerholics. and i certainly have days when i wonder if self weaning is a myth. i hear it's not. but, most days it works out well and i'm confident that i will not still be breastfeeding when menopause is in full swing. though i wonder how the menopause would affect the bf.


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## supa (Jul 18, 2005)

wow! i'm just feeling incredibly inspired by all of you. and thanks for sharing your birth story aspenrayne. i loved seeing the picture of oren and emma luna tandeming and hearing how much your love for your new babe and your older child have grown. i've been getting very excited about trying for baby number two and it's nice to know that when i'm nursing two there will be someplace to come and discuss it!

--dara (ds 21 mo.)


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

bump


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

mamas! Tandeming while pregnant has been going pretty good. I have been setting limits with Sam, he still nurses lots, but the main change has been night nursing. I am so happy that he is finally nursing way less, and it was not hard at ALL! If he wakes up and is not upset I remind him he can nurse in the morning and he goes back to sleep, if he needs to nurse he lets me count to 10, or he does it on his finger, and then he gets off willingly and goes back to sleep. My sleep has improved a TON! Violet still nurses at night, but I can usually sleep throug it pretty much, and she often sleeps for 5 or 6 hours at a time, so I am actually sleeping again, dreams and everythign! YAY!

I am convinced that triandeming will be fine now.







SAm keeps saying that he is going to wean when the baby comes though, so we'll see. LOL


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## monkeys4mama (Apr 25, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamamoo* 







mamas! Tandeming while pregnant has been going pretty good. ............
I am convinced that triandeming will be fine now.







SAm keeps saying that he is going to wean when the baby comes though, so we'll see. LOL


Glad to hear it's going well. I tandem nursed through two of my pregnancies. I'm now down to nursing just the two youngest. Well, most of the time anyway. Dd#2 still sneaks in a sip once in a very great while, even though she's been officially weaned for awhile and I'm not supposed to tell anyone.









I wanted to say that my dd#1 totally surprised me by weaning when ds was born. I wasn't expecting it at all. In fact, she had never even said anything about weaning before the birth. She just totally surprised us by announcing that she was weaned right after ds made his entrance into the world. And she had been nursing several times a day up until I went into labor! She did just great w/ weaning and never appeared to miss it one bit. Really amazed me. But my dd#2 wasn't like that (obviously!) She wanted to hang onto nursing for a lot longer.


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## Swandira (Jun 26, 2005)

We need a smilie that shows a toddler and a big kid nursing too! I've noticed we have this one







, but my almost-one-year-old no longer lies there in the crook of my arm while nursing; she's really more of a toddler at this point. I think there are several of us nursing a toddler and one or more preschoolers/school-age kids. Am I right?

Also, I'm curious to hear how often your bigger nurslings (4+ years old) nurse, and for how long. My four-year-old likes to nurse upon waking up, and will at that time nurse until I get bored and/or need to change the baby before her diaper starts leaking all over us, and physically remove him. During the day if he happens to nurse (he usually doesn't), he'll only nurse for a minute or two, though.

Nealy
mama to Thales (posterior c/s 12/9/02) and Lydia (VBAC 2/26/06)


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

Nealy, when my 1st 2 were in their 4's, they nursed routinely 3x's/day. Usually 15-30 min each. They both went to pre K at that age, and would nurse in the morning (waking up for school), after school (great reconnection time), and before bed. Of course, high needs day and sick days there were definite increases, but there were also days we were out and about that we were just too busy and would skip).

Mamamoo, your gonna handle triandeming like a pro







but get an egg timer for those bottleneck moments. You have 3 nurslings but only 2 nipples









Monkeys4mama and Mamamoo...so they really do wean? I trust my oldest will know the time when he's through altogether, but then i have days when i wish that day was today.







But, then the next thing you know another week has flown by. I guess since it's my first, and you're always breaking new ground with that one... Just waiting for the next step. Of course, it makes the following nurslings seem like an afterthought (not sure if that's the word i want).







:

Happy tandeming, Mama's!!


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

I can't imagine mama, the furtherest one of my nurslings has gotten is a month shy of five. I mother-led weaned my first at four(though it was super easy, he didn't have a hard time with it, and he still "held" his milkies for comfort for months after that). With Maddy I didn't listen to the comments people were making and when they did start to bug me(my mom, and hubby, who are normally very supportive of bfing, I think past four was out of their comfort zone though, I just told them it was a relationship between me and her, and when we both decided it was done, then we would be done. lol that shut them up about it...

I can't help but hope Sam will want to wean when the baby comes...part of me wouldn't mind nursing him still, but the other part knows how trying it can be to nurse 2 sometimes. I will let him ultimatley decide though, setting limits when I need to to save my sanity...the egg timer is a great idea!

We definitely need a toddler and preschooler nursing smiley.







I wonder who we can ask about that?

My four year olds have always nursed quite a bit...Sam probably nurses 5 or 6 times a day and once at night, but he is limited right now to nurse til the count of ten, unless I am feeling ok with nursing longer(usually once or twice a day). He turned four in November.


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## jillmamma (Apr 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Swandira* 
We need a smilie that shows a toddler and a big kid nursing too! I've noticed we have this one







, but my almost-one-year-old no longer lies there in the crook of my arm while nursing; she's really more of a toddler at this point. I think there are several of us nursing a toddler and one or more preschoolers/school-age kids. Am I right?

Also, I'm curious to hear how often your bigger nurslings (4+ years old) nurse, and for how long. My four-year-old likes to nurse upon waking up, and will at that time nurse until I get bored and/or need to change the baby before her diaper starts leaking all over us, and physically remove him. During the day if he happens to nurse (he usually doesn't), he'll only nurse for a minute or two, though.


Nealy,
I agree we need a toddler/preschooler tandem nursing icon. I am another mom nursing a toddler and preschooler. Michelle no longer stays in the crook of my arm either...her little arms and legs are moving, or she is twisting around in my lap, or kicking/hitting her brother when they nurse together sometimes.







:







I noticed your DS and mine are the same age...Matthew is 12/15/02.







He nurses usually upon waking, sometimes in the afternoon, and before bed. If he is sick, it is more often. If we are out and about a lot, it is less often. Michelle is 18 months and nurses about 6 or 7 times in 24 hours (once in the middle of the night).


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

Wow, my four yr old is 11/29/02


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## mommajb (Mar 4, 2005)

Hi ladies! I hadn't seen this tribe yet. I have been tandeming since 06/05 and am 11 weeks preg. My just turned 4 yo is about weaned but I hate to say so for fear she will make a liar out of me. Her nursing has been sporadic for a while and the past month or so has been much more talk than action which is fine by me.

I am good with my decisions but can use all the encouragement and pep talks I can soak in. I do not want to wean my little toddler for so many good reasons but... My behavior as I get through the first trimester doesn't always communicate that. I suppose it is mostly fatigue because I haven't been sore this time around. I get very antsy when she settles in for a good long nurse. I really do like where I am, I just need to remind myself of that sometimes.

Thanks for letting me vent and introduce myself.


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## ladybugchild77 (Jun 18, 2004)

Hello~ We're still here and tandeming...Um...just a quick question...has anyone tandemed and pair through a third pregnancy when the baby is young? Um...I *might* be pregnant...yeah...I am freaking out a little here...My little one is only 3 months old and I am afraid my milk will go away...um...wow...I can't think straight...I had AF from the time I was 6 weeks pp and then it cam like clockwork ut now it has gone away. Could that be becasue of my incresed nursing of my almost 2yo plus the baby's growth spurt? Wow...off to try not to freak out...


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## loomweaver (Aug 17, 2004)

Hugs to you Stephanie.
I am going bonkers with my almost 3 yold. She is driving me crazy. I have with great dismay and aching, decided to try and night wean her. I am just getting NO sleep. My 4 month old sleeps longer than her at night. He only wakes up about 1-2 times a night. She is up at least 4 sometimes for an hour!
And she always wants to position me to her liking...

OK, over with the vent, I'd rather say it all to you guys than her..


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## Samjm (Mar 12, 2005)

Well, I guess I am tandeming now. My 2.5 yr old toddler is still nursing, and I have a newborn nursling too.

I must admit that I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE tandeming so far. I'm just not feeling the love at all. There is absolutely NO comfortable position to nurse both at once, that doesn't entail me getting kicked somehow, so I end up nursing the baby first, followed by nursing the toddler. Which means I am seriously nursing ALL the time.


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## ladybugchild77 (Jun 18, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *loomweaver* 
Hugs to you Stephanie.
I am going bonkers with my almost 3 yold. She is driving me crazy. I have with great dismay and aching, decided to try and night wean her. I am just getting NO sleep. My 4 month old sleeps longer than her at night. He only wakes up about 1-2 times a night. She is up at least 4 sometimes for an hour!
And she always wants to position me to her liking...

OK, over with the vent, I'd rather say it all to you guys than her..

Kiera is all of a sudden nursing more than her sister. She was nursing like 3 times a day when Devin was born and now every 5 second sit is "Nurse, Mama!" "Nurse, Mama!" Honestly, it is driving me bananas!







She actually nightweaned herself during my pregnancy at around 14mo - it was tough but I am glad she did it. I know it is a hard decision to make but I am sure you both will be happier in the end. And Kiera also think I am Gumby as far as nursing is concerned!


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## ladybugchild77 (Jun 18, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Samjm* 
Well, I guess I am tandeming now. My 2.5 yr old toddler is still nursing, and I have a newborn nursling too.

I must admit that I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE tandeming so far. I'm just not feeling the love at all. There is absolutely NO comfortable position to nurse both at once, that doesn't entail me getting kicked somehow, so I end up nursing the baby first, followed by nursing the toddler. Which means I am seriously nursing ALL the time.

Finding the balance in the beginning can be really tricky. Honestly, I stopped nursing them both at once fairly quickly since it gave me the creepy-crawlies plus like you mentioned, getting kicked is not pleasant! I will say that now my little one is almost 4mo and my older one is almost 2 and they have found a balance themselves. Some day sit does feel like all I do is nurse and i get touched out but other days it is good. Just hang in there...and when my little one was a newborn I used to do the football hold with her in the rocking chair and have my toddler perch on my lap herself and that worked well for two at once.

HTH and good luck!


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ladybugchild77* 
Hello~ We're still here and tandeming...Um...just a quick question...has anyone tandemed and pair through a third pregnancy when the baby is young? Um...I *might* be pregnant...yeah...I am freaking out a little here...My little one is only 3 months old and I am afraid my milk will go away...um...wow...I can't think straight...I had AF from the time I was 6 weeks pp and then it cam like clockwork ut now it has gone away. Could that be becasue of my incresed nursing of my almost 2yo plus the baby's growth spurt? Wow...off to try not to freak out...









That is a tough one. I nursed my first ds through my pregnancy(he was 7 months okd when I got pregnant), and my supply didn't drop for him. But it has on all the rest of my pregnancies. I haven't done anything to consciously keep it up though either. Let us know what you find out hopefully it is just a more nursing=no AF thing.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *loomweaver* 
Hugs to you Stephanie.
I am going bonkers with my almost 3 yold. She is driving me crazy. I have with great dismay and aching, decided to try and night wean her. I am just getting NO sleep. My 4 month old sleeps longer than her at night. He only wakes up about 1-2 times a night. She is up at least 4 sometimes for an hour!
And she always wants to position me to her liking...

OK, over with the vent, I'd rather say it all to you guys than her..









I feel your pain. This is why I just night weaned Sam. I t was very easy though, and I tried at 3 and 3.5, and he was having such a hard time that I pushed it off, but this time it was easy, and my older 2 kiddos night weaned at about 3 with ease. GOod luck, and more sleeping!!









Quote:


Originally Posted by *Samjm* 
Well, I guess I am tandeming now. My 2.5 yr old toddler is still nursing, and I have a newborn nursling too.

I must admit that I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE tandeming so far. I'm just not feeling the love at all. There is absolutely NO comfortable position to nurse both at once, that doesn't entail me getting kicked somehow, so I end up nursing the baby first, followed by nursing the toddler. Which means I am seriously nursing ALL the time.

It can be quite an adjusment at first. I promise it waxes and wanes though. It will be easier sometimes and unbearable others, but it is so worth it in the end. Just try to keep it in perspective...this time is so short in the grand scheme of things, and your babies need you this way for now.

HAve you tried laying your toddler on you the laying the baby on top of your toddler? Both in cradle holds? The other way I found comfy was in bed(good place to be anyway to rest), lots of pillows helping to prop kiddos up on each side of you. Both of the in football holds with pillows under the bums is ok too.

HAng in there. It will get easier.























Man lots of hugs to go around today.







I am actually in a pretty good spot with tandeming right now. I am tired, and touched out(but to be honest have been for the last 9 years LOL), but this is a good time.
















s to you all, amazing, strong women, giving your babies the best!


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamamoo* 
I nursed my first ds through my pregnancy(he was 7 months okd when I got pregnant), and my supply didn't drop for him. But it has on all the rest of my pregnancies.

That's exactly how mine were, 2nd preg when 1st was 7mos and great supply through it. Dropped on the next two especially in that 2nd tri.


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## timneh_mom (Jun 13, 2005)

I'm officially tandem nursing as of Feb 20th... our daughter came on the 19th and we got home the next day! So far things are going OK, my son is a little possessive of his "ees", but I keep explaining that "ees" are actually part of mama's body and I share them with him because I love him. He's kind of in a "NO MINE!!" stage anyway, with anyone and anything.

We are negotiating around our 10 day growth spurt right now, Sophie was giving me about 1/2 hour between nursing sessions yesterday, so it was barely enough time to nurse DS down for nap and bed!

And I have that ENORMOUS TODDLER optical illusion thing going... it's so weird! He looks like a teenager when he is nursing and he's got a HUGE butt and HUGE diapers!! It's funny that it doesn't go the other way, I don't really see the baby as tiny and him as normal... it is very strange!


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

Congratulations on your baby, Liz! And great tandeming!

That big head syndrome is certainly bizarre. That infant will catch up soon enough!


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## mommajb (Mar 4, 2005)

Congratulations!

Isn't that enomous toddler something else? I remember looking down and thinking I was nursing my Aunt Mary the resemblance was so shocking!

Nursing them both helped us with the transitions and reminding me that the toddler was still a little one. The temptation to think of an older baby as more mature than they are once another baby is on the scene can be so great.

Good luck and I hope thing go smoothly.


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

Congratulations!! I remember the big head thing too. It is sooo strange!


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## jillmamma (Apr 11, 2005)

Hard (for me) to believe, but I think my older one is starting to self-wean a bit more. This past week or so, he has not asked to nurse first thing in the morning or in the afternoons anymore, in fact telling me, "I don't need muh right now, mama".














He is still nursing and needing it before bed though, so I imagine that will continue for awhile yet. It just seems strange to only be nursing one kid during the day, especially when the first one was latched on more often than not during his first year or so. That, and I have now officially been tandem nursing for 18 months!


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

Jill,


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

Jill, that is neat isn't it, to see them set their own limits?


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

Chiming in here a month after DD was born but my older babe who weaned during my pregnancy is now successfully nursing again! Yay!
I can't nurse them both at the same time though.


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## ladybugchild77 (Jun 18, 2004)

Hello!
I am NOT pregnant! Yey! Being preggo w/number 3, having a new 2yo and a 4mo would have been a little...challenging to say the least while I finish my coursework for my Master's degree! Tandeming is going a lot better now that I am remembering to eat and drink a lot of water...it makes pumping smoother too. I have learned the fine art of distraction after both kiddos have nursed in the am so I can pup my little heart out...I also "power pump" after each feed when I can becasue any little ounce of "liquid gold" helps. Moo...


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## ladybugchild77 (Jun 18, 2004)

I forgot to say congrats and welcome to the new tandem Mamas!


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## AspenRayne (Jul 3, 2005)

I can relate sooooo much to the HUGE TODDLER syndrome! She seems bigger and so much more mature compared to my 2 mo old! It is nice to nurse her and remember she is still my little girl.

I also can't seem to nurse them both at the same time for more than a minute or so, it's just too overstimulating. Does this stay like this or does it get easier? I have to be VERY distracted to be able to stand it for very long. I wuld just like to be able to nurse both at once for convenience sake and I hate telling DD no and seeing her sad face







She seems to understand, though, that the baby needs the milk and she can have snacks.


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## mtnviolet (Sep 15, 2006)

Hello! I am a tandem momma of two...one is three and the other is 2.5 M. So far, it has been great. I felt much more touched out when I was pregnant and nursing. My older dd nurses a lot and has gained almost 10 lbs, which worried me slightly, but I do think she will even out again. It seems that she gained a big part of that during the first month of the adjustment.

the hardest part of tandem for me is when the girls need to go to bed and the baby is fussy. We have been fighting colds here so that has been a bit rough.

we do a lot of nursing together...and, it is quite nice.


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## mommajb (Mar 4, 2005)

I know other mommas have had different experiences but I wanted to say that I never really enjoyed nursing the two at the same time. The only times I tried after a while were out and about as strange as that sounds. I have one very vivid memory of sitting in the quiet room at the children's museum, ready to cry, nursing both babies to calm them from all the craziness, my older two sitting with me reading and waiting. People kept coming into the room, staring and leaving all except for one woman who stayed and asked so many questions. I then went on to change the cloth diaper and put the baby in the sling. Oh my, that was my bit of activism for the day.


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DreamsInDigital* 
Chiming in here a month after DD was born but my older babe who weaned during my pregnancy is now successfully nursing again! Yay!
I can't nurse them both at the same time though.

Congratulations!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ladybugchild77* 
Hello!
I am NOT pregnant! Yey! Being preggo w/number 3, having a new 2yo and a 4mo would have been a little...challenging to say the least while I finish my coursework for my Master's degree! Tandeming is going a lot better now that I am remembering to eat and drink a lot of water...it makes pumping smoother too. I have learned the fine art of distraction after both kiddos have nursed in the am so I can pup my little heart out...I also "power pump" after each feed when I can becasue any little ounce of "liquid gold" helps. Moo...









YAY! That would have been really tough!







I must remember to drink more water. I try but it seems like I need 2 gallons a day to feel good. LOL (nursing 2 and pregnant, and plus sized!).

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AspenRayne* 
I can relate sooooo much to the HUGE TODDLER syndrome! She seems bigger and so much more mature compared to my 2 mo old! It is nice to nurse her and remember she is still my little girl.

I also can't seem to nurse them both at the same time for more than a minute or so, it's just too overstimulating. Does this stay like this or does it get easier? I have to be VERY distracted to be able to stand it for very long. I wuld just like to be able to nurse both at once for convenience sake and I hate telling DD no and seeing her sad face







She seems to understand, though, that the baby needs the milk and she can have snacks.

Awww...you know there are times I can do it and times I absolutely can not. The only time that it didn't really bother me much was with my first two, and they were only 16 months apart...my older ds was not very into food at all, so breastmilk was the majority of his nutrition. It was also the only time my milk suplly didn't drop...


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## AspenRayne (Jul 3, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mtnviolet* 
I felt much more touched out when I was pregnant and nursing. My older dd nurses a lot and has gained almost 10 lbs, which worried me slightly, but I do think she will even out again. It seems that she gained a big part of that during the first month of the adjustment.

the hardest part of tandem for me is when the girls need to go to bed and the baby is fussy.

I felt more touched out while, pg as well. And I also noticed my 2.5yo gained some weight in the month after DS was born, but it's evening out now, I think she was just excited to have milk again!

I also struggle with nap time when DH isn't here to hold the baby and DD needs to get to sleep but DS wants to be held....we are slowly finding a routine!


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## APintheAF (Jan 9, 2006)

I am pretty new to the world of Tandem: ds1 is 2.5 yo and ds2 is 1 mo. We are enjoying the experience. Ds1 is dealing with sharing his boobies much better than I expected. He is nursing primarily at nap time, bed time, and through the night. Iwill nurse him at other times, but I do ask him to wait more frequently than I realized. Ds2 just goes with the flow of it all!
One thing that surprised me the most was ds1's diaper. I wasn't expecting to see massive quantities of newborn poop! Ds1 is hardly eating any solid foods right now, over 80% of what he's taking in is bm. He's just really excited to have milk after 7 months of dry nursing.
I'm glad this tribe is here. I don't really know many people who have tandem nursed, let alone anyone who is currently.


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## timneh_mom (Jun 13, 2005)

Just bumping this









I have been tandem nursing for about 5 1/2 weeks now! It is not at all like I'd expected... when I was pg, all I wanted was to give DS my milk again! But now that the baby is here, he has gotten pretty possessive of nursing (he is possessive of everything else too though...) and I have had to put some limits on how long he nurses because he sucks SO hard and his teeth leave little indentations in my areola!! He has accepted the limits but it was hard for him in the beginning...

It is really great, though, to have a toddler help me with my oversupply and it was wonderful for engorgement in the beginning... I think he helped my milk come in faster too!


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

Good to hear that the mom's new to tandeming are having a good experience.


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## ladybugchild77 (Jun 18, 2004)

Well...we have made it 5 months and are still going strong!







Kiera is only nursing 1-2 times a day now unless she has a needy day. Devin is still EBF and I plan to do so as long as she wants to; Kiera didn't really eat solids until a year or so because she just wasn't interested. Although I rarely nurse them together I do love it when I do since Kiera is so gentle with the baby and Devin LOVES LOVES LOVES to play with her sister while nursing. My beautiful girls...I will have to post a recent pic of them nursing together. And I am taking the comments about weaning from people like my Mom and MIL in stride...I am certainly a master at chaging the subject now! Hugs and big glasses of water to all you tandem/triandem ladies!


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

Yay! SOunds liek it's going well! I am getting nervous about nursing three, but Sam has really cut back so much, that part is nice...I am actually worried about him gaining a lot of weight when my milk comes in though(is is very overweight already)...we'll see.


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## timneh_mom (Jun 13, 2005)

Just wanted to bump this... I still would love to have a pregnant/tandem nursing subforum... been asking for one for a while!


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## AspenRayne (Jul 3, 2005)

I'm checking in... going on 4 months of Tandeming!

DD 2.5 years still asks to nurse a LOT and would probably go back to being EBF if I let her. I usually end up nursing her 2-5 times a day depending on what we are doing. Her favorite times to nurse are right after waking and before nap and bed time, so that is when we usually nurse. She is also happy to relieve me when I get engorged b/c my DS 3 mo goes long stretches without nursing sometimes.

DS 3 months is doing great and already 18 lbs so I KNOW he is not lacking at ALL in the BFing dept. Sometimes he has trouble keeping up with my firehose letdown reflex and sometimes has trouble latching if I am too full, but is a champ nurser who will usually bounce easily between EBM in a bottle(to give me a little break!) and BFing pretty easily.


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## bigislandmama (Apr 13, 2006)

Hi Mamas. I posted when this thread first started and then couldn't find it for awhile and then forgot it was here







. I have been trying to read through all that I've missed.
Hope it's okay for me to join in again.
I have been tandem nursing for 3 months now and it has been going pretty good. It has definitely made the transition for ds much easier. Lately though he has been wanting to nurse all the time. I am having a rough time with this because I just feel so drained. He has been throwing fits if I try and set any limits. If and I mean if I am able to distract him for a few minutes as soon as we are done with whatever we are doing he is immediately asking to nurse again. He has actually been picking on his sister if she is nursing and he wants to. I have nursed them together a few times, but it is really hard for me and not comfortable.
I guess I am wondering if I am wrong for wanting to set limits? I do not want to wean him I just want him to not nurse every time I sit down.


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## timneh_mom (Jun 13, 2005)

Bigislandmama... you are NOT wrong at all in wanting, and needing to set limits!! I think nursing a toddler is something a mom needs to be OK with, and enjoy... and if you need to set limits, that's ok! Your toddler will come to accept them. It's not comfortable for me to nurse both mine together either so I nurse them separately. I regularly tell my DS that he can have pizza, ice cream, peanut butter and jelly, etc. but DD can't because she is too little... and I tell DS that I am very happy to be able to give him nursies still... and I reassure him that there will always be more chances to nurse when I have to stop him. He was not happy but he has accepted it. It's really the only way I could continue to nurse two.

Have you read Adventures in Tandem Nursing by Hilary Flower? If not, please get yourself a copy! It's excellent, I have found it very helpful and reassuring! These feelings we are having are all normal!

Some moms find it helpful to have toys that only come out when you're nursing the babe... is this something that might help you?


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## pleiades (Apr 12, 2007)

Hi all, I'd like to chime in, I've been tandem nursing for 6 months now with my twin daughters. It was really hard at first when I was just learning how to nurse and they were learning how to latch, but now it's second nature and makes nursing so fast so we can get on with our day and play! I do love nursing one at a time too, especially when laying in bed trying to get a few more minutes of sleep in the morning...

I haven't seen any twin moms on here... didn't read every post though.


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## bigislandmama (Apr 13, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *timneh_mom* 
Bigislandmama... you are NOT wrong at all in wanting, and needing to set limits!! I think nursing a toddler is something a mom needs to be OK with, and enjoy... and if you need to set limits, that's ok! Your toddler will come to accept them. It's not comfortable for me to nurse both mine together either so I nurse them separately. I regularly tell my DS that he can have pizza, ice cream, peanut butter and jelly, etc. but DD can't because she is too little... and I tell DS that I am very happy to be able to give him nursies still... and I reassure him that there will always be more chances to nurse when I have to stop him. He was not happy but he has accepted it. It's really the only way I could continue to nurse two.

Have you read Adventures in Tandem Nursing by Hilary Flower? If not, please get yourself a copy! It's excellent, I have found it very helpful and reassuring! These feelings we are having are all normal!

Some moms find it helpful to have toys that only come out when you're nursing the babe... is this something that might help you?


Thank you for your kind words. The past two days have been a lot better. I have had the chance to do more activities with him and that really helps. I am starting to wonder if it is a growth spurt as well as just needing my comfort.
I do the same as you by reassuring him that he will have more chances to nurse and letting him know that I love nursing him and that it is special time for us.

I haven't been able to find a copy of the book. I would love to find one for a good price. Maybe I will look on the trading post. Thanks for the recommendation.


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

Pleidas, fantastic job nursing 2 from the get go! You are very welcome here, but you should also check out the mulitiple subforum....and this link shows that there are lots of mama's EBFing twins







http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=643719

I agree about the subforum...it's desperately needed for pregnant while nursing and tandeming. And this thread gets buried so quickly lots of tandem mama's or to be don't know it's here. I've thought about asking if this could be a stickie but would that actually help?


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## jkg (May 28, 2005)

I found this thread at just the right time! I'm tandem nursing my 2 y/o ds and my 1 month-old ds. I am having a very hard time finding a comfortable position in which to nurse them simultaneously. I end up nursing them one after the other, but since ds2 needs to nurse so much more often, ds1 has been becoming resentful and impatient. I am also experiencing a huge decrease in supply in the evening, which poses a problem because I have two sleepy boys wanting to nurse. i do not have a supply problem during the day. Any suggestions are appreciated!


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## timneh_mom (Jun 13, 2005)

nak

Some moms find it helpful to have activities/toys that ONLY come out when you're nursing the baby. It is hard on the older one to have to share nursing with the little one... but I think in time, he will see that he's still got his mama! It can be hard though... I felt the same way when DD was born.

It's normal to have a supply decrease in the evening... I found I had to think ahead about which breast to offer my son, so my daughter wouldn't get frustrated when my flow was slower than she's used to.


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## supa (Jul 18, 2005)

i just wanted to chime in here, because i have recommended this thread to lots of mamas who have recently had number 2 and i haven't seen any of them. now, that might be because they haven't had the time, don't have the interest, or whatever, but it also might be because it gets really hard to find! i also know a number of people who are pregnant and nursing and who need support.

--dara


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## lanielayne (Jun 13, 2005)

Hi tandem mamas! Haven't been here since I was pg but now I am a full-fledged tandeming mama. I nurse both of my dds (3 and 11 weeks). The best position that has worked for us is both dds laying with their heads together and bodies to the outside. I don't like nursing them at the same time at all but if dd makes me that is our preferred position







It really has been challenging for me to sit and nurse so much but I have really been trying to make an effort for Maren so that she doesn't feel slighted by her little sister. She wants to nurse now more often than before but I figured that would happen now that I have a ton of yummy milk!


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## timneh_mom (Jun 13, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *supa* 
i just wanted to chime in here, because i have recommended this thread to lots of mamas who have recently had number 2 and i haven't seen any of them. now, that might be because they haven't had the time, don't have the interest, or whatever, but it also might be because it gets really hard to find! i also know a number of people who are pregnant and nursing and who need support.

--dara

I have been asking for a pregnant and tandem nursing subforum but they keep ignoring me!







I really think we should have one, with the number of us here who are in one or the other situation!!


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## dflanag2 (Oct 4, 2005)

Just checking in to say that I am also tandem nursing DS (31 mos) and DD (7 mos) although I am not as generous as many of you-- I limit DS nursing to 2-3 times per day: naptime, bedtime, and maybe one other time. I also limit the amount of time DS nurses. Sometimes I feel like I am wasting away to nothing weightwise trying to keep up with both nurslings (I should mention both kids are very big: DD is already 24 lbs!) despite eating everything I can get my hands on!

Anyway, I agree it would be nice to have a subforum. I don't have any questions or concerns at the moment, it actually feels quite natural to be nursing them both, but it's a bit lonely since I don't personally know anyone else who has done it.

-dflanag2


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## Meredith&Alexander (May 23, 2005)

I'll join in! I'm tandem nursing my 7 week old and 3.5 year old. My big guy was nursing like crazy for a few weeks,and now has backed off to somewhere between once and 3 or 4 times a day.

the most comfortable position for nursing both of them right now is with baby Ford cradled in one arm and big Alexander either beside me or on my lap with my arm with baby in it resting on him. But God help me if my nose itches!


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

well i went and sent a pm to the mod asking for this thread to be a sticky. maybe that'll stand out more for tandeming or tandem to be mama's. if the thread can show that enough mom's are interested in tandeming, maybe we can finally get a tandem subforum.


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## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

I'd love a subforum too. I'm new to this and I'm sure I'll have many questions.

I'm nursing my 3 week old and 25 month old. My toddler nurses a ton lately, and almost always wants to when the baby is. He also wakes up a couple of times at night to nurse so I'm exhausted.

Has anyone had problems with the younger one gaining enough weight? My 3 week old is just now right back up to his birth weight. I was a little worried because my first 3 all were back to their birth weight a couple days after they were born and this one lost a pound and then took forever to gain.

I just worry that my 2 year old is getting most of the hind milk and of course it doesn't help that the baby falls asleep easily everytime he nurses.

But I do love tandem nursing and I know my toddler is not near ready to wean, I'm just trying to figure it all out and let my milk production regulate for two


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## cutic (May 19, 2005)

Hi all,

I am nursing my 38 month old dd #1 and 4 month old dd#2. At first, dd#1 wanted to nurse every time my newborn was nursing and I let her. Later, however, I realized she was asking because it was a sort of a game for her, will mom let me or not. So I always first make sure she isn't hungry and offer her solids, very often she will eat instead of nursing. Also, she stopped asking all the time, I think, around 8 weeks or so. Now, with dd#1 we are down to 2 or 3 times a day, before sleep and once during the night.
I actually find it really difficult to nurse dd#1 as every time I do, I feel touched out or am agitated and that makes me very uncomfortable. I was always pro CLW but tandem nursing is completely new aspect of CLW. I could easily imagine nursing dd#1 for a long time if she didn't get a little sister, if you KWIM.


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## ladybugchild77 (Jun 18, 2004)

I am feeling nostalgic!







:
Dd#2 was born six months ago today - thus beginning my tandeming relationshp! Just wanted to share with you lovely Mamas!


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## ladybugchild77 (Jun 18, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Drummer's Wife* 
I'd love a subforum too. I'm new to this and I'm sure I'll have many questions.

I'm nursing my 3 week old and 25 month old. My toddler nurses a ton lately, and almost always wants to when the baby is. He also wakes up a couple of times at night to nurse so I'm exhausted.

Has anyone had problems with the younger one gaining enough weight? My 3 week old is just now right back up to his birth weight. I was a little worried because my first 3 all were back to their birth weight a couple days after they were born and this one lost a pound and then took forever to gain.

I just worry that my 2 year old is getting most of the hind milk and of course it doesn't help that the baby falls asleep easily everytime he nurses.

But I do love tandem nursing and I know my toddler is not near ready to wean, I'm just trying to figure it all out and let my milk production regulate for two









Congrats on your little one! My dd#2 actually lost a lb or so after bith but she was 10lb14oz when born so it was just fluff!







She gained it back slowly but now she is a roly-poly chubster...I woudn't worry yet - have you tried block nursing the little one so they get the hindmilk? In the beginning (and even now sometimes) I designate one side for each kiddo...HTH! And something else I did in the beginning was to let the toddler have both sides to get the foremilk and let the baby have the "cream"...


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## sherryCobySam (Jul 6, 2005)

anyone here breastfeeding a pre-schooler and a toddler? Am I nuts? 1 is 5, the other 2.5 and now we have breast mouth on the little one and the dentist is trying to force me to wean. I think brushing is the answer. Hi guys.


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

Wow. I started this thread NINE months ago.







Glad to see it is still up and running. And so are we! I keep thinking dd is weaned but you know how that is. Tandeming is easier now than it was several months ago as dd nurses only once a week or less and ds is nursing less too. Crying babe, gotta run.


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sherryCobySam* 
anyone here breastfeeding a pre-schooler and a toddler? Am I nuts? 1 is 5, the other 2.5 and now we have breast mouth on the little one and the dentist is trying to force me to wean. I think brushing is the answer. Hi guys.


I am nursing a 4.5 yr old and a 2.5 yr old, and 26 weeks pregnant.







I feel like I'm crazy some days, but I have been tandeming for most of the last 8 years, so kind of used to it.









What is "breast mouth"? My 4.5 yr old has had about 11 dental caries, and showes a liquid pattern on his upper inners of his teeth. While I don't believe nursing causes dental caries, I do believe mixed with thier poor dental genetics it has contributed to the severity. My 2 yr old is the only one cavity free, and my 4.5 yr old was at this age too. We brush at least every night, and he doesn't usually get juice/pop/sugary type drinks, so the liquid pattern is kind of strange to me...


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## momtoS (Apr 12, 2006)

Hello everyone
I am so happy to find this thread. I haven't read it all, I just don't have the time but I am happy to meet people that are going through the same thing I am. In the real world I don't even know anyone (even at the local LLL) that has tandem nursed. DD (2.5 years old) was done to once or twice a day and know wants to nurse as often as the baby (3.5 WEEKS old). I try to sing a song and make her session a little shorter than baby's, except at bedtime!


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## momtoS (Apr 12, 2006)

Did I scare everyone away?







:


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

MomtoS....you didn't scare any of us away. This thread gets buried very quick! You almost have to know it's here and search for it. Once it's bumped up, it doesn't take long for it to be on page 2.

Congratulations on tandeming! You must be near 6 weeks by now. Hope you are getting settled with nursing two and adjusting to the new baby. Make sure you are drinking lots of water! Happy tandeming


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## AspenRayne (Jul 3, 2005)

Well, I've been tandeming now for almost 5 months! DD is 2.5y and DS is almost 5m. I've put a lot of limits on DD's nursing. During the day I will often count to 10 and she knows she needs to pop off at 10. I count slow or fast depending on how long I want to let her nurse. She was a little upset at first, but now she seems to like the consistent boundaries.....and I do too. I would be totally happy if she would just wean, but I don't see her losing interest anytime soon so we will stick with limits for now. DS is a chunk at over 20lbs and not yet 5 months! SO he's obviously not missing out on the nursing! He looks like a shar-pei! lol


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## timneh_mom (Jun 13, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kirstie* 
MomtoS....you didn't scare any of us away. This thread gets buried very quick! You almost have to know it's here and search for it. Once it's bumped up, it doesn't take long for it to be on page 2.

Congratulations on tandeming! You must be near 6 weeks by now. Hope you are getting settled with nursing two and adjusting to the new baby. Make sure you are drinking lots of water! Happy tandeming









I've been asking for a tandem/pregnant nursing subforum for a while but the powers that be don't seem to think it's a worthy idea right now...







If anyone else thinks it would be helpful, would you send a quick PM to one of the mods? I hate seeing this thread keep getting lost...


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

Liz, i've pm'd the mod and it was ignored. Tandem certainly needs a subforum. There's way too many threads in all these breastfeeding forums about tandeming, preg and nursing, and tandeming while preg to not consider a subforum. When i get a chance today, i'll resurrect your forum request thread you had awhile back.


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## momcnl (Jan 13, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Drummer's Wife* 
I'd love a subforum too. I'm new to this and I'm sure I'll have many questions.

I'm nursing my 3 week old and 25 month old. My toddler nurses a ton lately, and almost always wants to when the baby is. He also wakes up a couple of times at night to nurse so I'm exhausted.

Has anyone had problems with the younger one gaining enough weight? My 3 week old is just now right back up to his birth weight. I was a little worried because my first 3 all were back to their birth weight a couple days after they were born and this one lost a pound and then took forever to gain.

I just worry that my 2 year old is getting most of the hind milk and of course it doesn't help that the baby falls asleep easily everytime he nurses.

But I do love tandem nursing and I know my toddler is not near ready to wean, I'm just trying to figure it all out and let my milk production regulate for two









Hi there,
I am tandem nursing my DS and DD #2. He is now 3 and she 12 months. However when we first started my DD #2 had an extremely slow weight gain. A recomendation given to me was designating a breast to each child for a 3-4 hour span. This was to ensure my baby got her hind milk. This did work, but she never got huge or even the slightest chuncky. She now weighs a mere 18 pounds at 12 months. But she is hitting all of her major milestones...or whatever you want to call it, like crawling, walking, and talking stuff. My ped. was not ever concerned because she was develpomentally there. I am not sure that this was any help or consalation, I knwo it is very woorisome when you are not sure that your little baby is getting all the milk they need. I still worry when I look at her little tiny figure. Well, good luck I hope you get it all figured out.
Belinda


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kirstie* 
Liz, i've pm'd the mod and it was ignored. Tandem certainly needs a subforum. There's way too many threads in all these breastfeeding forums about tandeming, preg and nursing, and tandeming while preg to not consider a subforum. When i get a chance today, i'll resurrect your forum request thread you had awhile back.

Make sure you post a link here to it please.







I would love to chime in.


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *momcnl* 
Hi there,
I am tandem nursing my DS and DD #2. He is now 3 and she 12 months. However when we first started my DD #2 had an extremely slow weight gain. A recomendation given to me was designating a breast to each child for a 3-4 hour span. This was to ensure my baby got her hind milk. This did work, but she never got huge or even the slightest chuncky. She now weighs a mere 18 pounds at 12 months. But she is hitting all of her major milestones...or whatever you want to call it, like crawling, walking, and talking stuff. My ped. was not ever concerned because she was develpomentally there. I am not sure that this was any help or consalation, I knwo it is very woorisome when you are not sure that your little baby is getting all the milk they need. I still worry when I look at her little tiny figure. Well, good luck I hope you get it all figured out.
Belinda









that would worry me too, but you know, all babies are different, and some are just meant to be tiny. I have a friend who's ds is still tiny and he's five. Hopefully she was just born a small girly.









I really like using one breast for each kiddo, it really helps me because I am much too tired in the begining to remember who I nursed on which side, first/last, etc. I use one breast for each during the day, then switch it up for night time. Course with 3 nursing come August, I have no idea how I will do it. LOL


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

THings are going well here. I am thinking I've got some colostrum going, ds said this morning his tummy hurt because he had too much num nums, and he only nursed for like a minute or two. He is 4.5 and I very gently encouraged him to nurse to the count of 10 shortly after I got pregnant, and was in pain. He did not mind at all, and has been doing great with it on his own. I love that I don't have to turn him down when he wants it, and he has actually cut back the requests on his own a TON! I don't think he has even asked to nurse during the day in a few days(but does at night once or twice), he is just too busy. It's weird. I would have never thought he would cut back like that, he was SOOOO attached to the num nums(like throwing tantrums all day long), and I think maybe he just needed some boundries that were consistent, and easy to predict.

VIolet is still nursing, but has cut back a bunch on her own too. I let her nurse as long as she needs it, but sometimes she wants me to count to 10(like big brother, I guess), sometimes she stops after that and sometimes she doesn't. LOL
She nurses once or so during the night, it's managable for me at this point. I'm hoping she be sleeping through the night more often this summer.


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

here's the thread Tinmah started back in October (a good length of time has passed) http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=502130


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

bump


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## kirk_heidi (Apr 26, 2006)

Is anyone nursing twins and pg again?


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## ellymay (Aug 4, 2005)

I have a ? for everyone though I am not tadem nursing yet I look forward to the experience BUT I do have a ? my dd 13 months old is NOT sleeping through the night she still wakes 2-3 times a night most nights now how does this work when baby gets here? I like to lay down and side nurse but how will I do that if she is still waking will have have to sit up everytime and feed both of them? How do y'all work this out?


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## AspenRayne (Jul 3, 2005)

We night-weaned our DD when I got PG with DS. She was about 18-20 months old at the time. We also moved her to her own bed in her own room at that time. I was too sick in the 1T with DS to be able to handle to all-night snuggle and nurse-fest we'd been having. It took a few weeks of a very patient DH getting up with her for her to learn she didn't NEED to BF at night and she COULD get comfort from DH (he would snuggle her in her full-sized bed). I also do NOT nurse my kids together at the same time, as I find it too overstimulating, but I know some women can do it with no problems. Good luck with whatever you do, Ellymay!


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

With my first two they were only 16 months apart, and I basically flip flopped all night long. Not fun, and I barely slept. I'm not sure what I would do with a kiddo that age, my last two tandemers were 2 yrs apart, and I did not night wean my older, it was more managable that the first two...I guess I would kind of wait and see what you can tolerate through the begining of your pregnancy, let her get a little older, and see if she doesn't taper off on her own.


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## ellymay (Aug 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AspenRayne* 
We night-weaned our DD when I got PG with DS. She was about 18-20 months old at the time. We also moved her to her own bed in her own room at that time. I was too sick in the 1T with DS to be able to handle to all-night snuggle and nurse-fest we'd been having. It took a few weeks of a very patient DH getting up with her for her to learn she didn't NEED to BF at night and she COULD get comfort from DH (he would snuggle her in her full-sized bed). I also do NOT nurse my kids together at the same time, as I find it too overstimulating, but I know some women can do it with no problems. Good luck with whatever you do, Ellymay!

Yeah I have thought about night weaning her but I just feel that she is too young I am hoping that she will slowly wean herself at night when my milk starts to go away or lessen. IDK I am trying to get her to use other things as comfort but I haven't had much use yet.


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## ellymay (Aug 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamamoo* 
With my first two they were only 16 months apart, and I basically flip flopped all night long. Not fun, and I barely slept. I'm not sure what I would do with a kiddo that age, my last two tandemers were 2 yrs apart, and I did not night wean my older, it was more managable that the first two...I guess I would kind of wait and see what you can tolerate through the begining of your pregnancy, let her get a little older, and see if she doesn't taper off on her own.

Well she will be about 21 months when the baby gets here so I am hoping that things will work themselves out but that is what I am afraid of is flip flopping all night


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## trmpetplaya (May 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kirstie* 
Liz, i've pm'd the mod and it was ignored. Tandem certainly needs a subforum. There's way too many threads in all these breastfeeding forums about tandeming, preg and nursing, and tandeming while preg to not consider a subforum. When i get a chance today, i'll resurrect your forum request thread you had awhile back.

I would love to have a tandem-nursing/nursing while pregnant subforum!

I'm wondering what I can do while in public with my toddler and new baby (when he/she arrives, of course). I don't want to be cooped up in the house with an active toddler during the summer months, but dd's only going to be 19.5 months old when this baby's born and isn't too wonderful about waiting very long. She'll wait a minute or two, but I don't think expecting her to wait much longer is realistic for her age...

love and peace.


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## tempestjewel (Apr 18, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *trmpetplaya* 
I would love to have a tandem-nursing/nursing while pregnant subforum!









:

It'd sure be easier to break down questions and conversations by topic instead of wading through a huge thread! I'm subbing and will try to stay active so we can show the mods a sub-forum is needed!


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## momtoS (Apr 12, 2006)

My first daughter is VERY HIGH NEEDS> she will not sleep without me (not for a minute). She needs a lot of attention. (she is 2.5years old). Now I have a 6 week old baby that was a dream (I could put her down awake and she would fall asleep and she would sleep without being held and even then only slept for 20 minutes). But now I think she is changing into the nightmare baby my dd was....she is starting to only nurse to sleep and I put her down 2 minutes ago, asleep and I can hear her waking up..... My first dd, will scream and beg to nurse.....I have sang the ABC's and at the end of it she is supposed to let go, but sometimes she doesn't. I am being controlled and manipulated by a 2.5 year old I would be willing to nurse her at night, and sometimes in the morning. BUT right now she nurses up to 8 times during the DAY!!!! If I say no, she will scream and scream, which upsets the new baby. So then I have two screaming babies. So soon I won't be able to do ANYTHING. I foolishly thought when #2 was so good to fall asleep and sleep by herself that she would stay like that for 2-3 HOURS......I had it made.....NOT ANYMORE. I think I ruined it by wearing her in a sling and co sleeping......I should have let her be alone......I really suck at parenting. I will never be able to go out......right now dd #1 is telling about how much the boo boo she got (she fell at the park this morning) hurts and the only thing that will help is booby milk. I can't even get the laundry down or go to the grocy store. (We go to the park and do kid stuff all day). I can't get a babysitter to help, because the one I had, stole from me and I have to do all the legal stuff for that still. Could it be any more stressful. Sorry for the rambling......welll one is begging for booby milk and the other is awake.........


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

Aww...momtoS, sounds liek you are having a really rough time. 2.5 is a hard age, and can be tough to set limits. I feel for you. Wish I had some good advice for you, but all I have are







s for now.


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

momtoS.....your 2.5 yr old only seems controlling and manipulating. You are not going to ruin her by responding to her needs and nursing is her major need right now. You new baby is 6 weeks old that is still too early of a time to expect your older nursling to adjust. I know you are adjusting too, but if you just give in too all your dd's nursing demands for the next few days, things will be ease up. Those first few months can be pretty rough on a family after the new baby, whether they nurse or not. It's just nursing (in my book) is a simple way to meet those needs.
Hang in there, you are a good mama, and you haven't ruined your new baby by slinging and cosleeping. To make a child independent you have to let them be dependent! When i was adjusting to nursing 3, i would tell my self i just needed to get through one more year. It didn't matter if that was the case, i just needed a reasonable goal, and within a few (more like 4)months i got the routine down pat and by the time a year came by it didn't matter i was in a good place








You are doing a fine job, drink your water and let the laundry and cleaning go to hell for a little while. Maybe get someone to help with that instead of a babysitter. IT WILL NOT be like this forever! I promise.


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

I KNEW you would have some sage wisdom for this mama.







I just can not think straight right now, and every thing I say comes out wrong. LOL

So, yeah!! What she said!!


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ellymay* 
Yeah I have thought about night weaning her but I just feel that she is too young I am hoping that she will slowly wean herself at night when my milk starts to go away or lessen. IDK I am trying to get her to use other things as comfort but I haven't had much use yet.

my dd (3rd child) self night weaned completely a month or so before the new baby was born. She started about 23 mos and was off/on till about 26/27mos. Of course there are nights when she still will need to nurse(illness, bad dreams, or just restlessness).
My first 2 were 16 mos and i nursed them for over 2 yrs at night. They both woke together (or if one awoke to nurse, the other quickly followed), so they had synchronous night schedules almost from the birth of the 2nd one. I just nursed on my back, concentrating on the youngest until he was old enough to help himself and let the older one figure out how to get to me (he was already an acrobatic nursing toddler by day). I hated falling asleep on my back though. Yuck. But, when it was back to nursing only one at night, soooooo easy!


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## trmpetplaya (May 30, 2005)

So... tandem-nursing in public? How did you handle it? My dd will be 19.5 months or so when this babe is born and I don't think that's old enough to understand "you need to wait a bit."

I'll be slinging the new babe more than not so maybe I can hide the fact that I'm bfing the baby from dd most of the time we're out and about?

love and peace.


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *trmpetplaya* 
I'll be slinging the new babe more than not so maybe I can hide the fact that I'm bfing the baby from dd most of the time we're out and about?

love and peace.









You got it









I've usually just had them take turns. Like at a restaurant where dh can entertain/hold the other one. A lot of places i go to that are public are parks and hiking trails and i can sit down and nursing while the older one stands next to me and nurses. For me it's harder to be discreet when nursing two and i'm shy so while i'm an avid public nurser it's hard to tell that i'm doing it.








In a more narrow confine (a chair) nursing at the same time you can lay the baby on top of the toddler in opposite direction.


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

tandem bump


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## Ivana&4Kids (May 21, 2007)

I,too,find it kind of hard to tandem nurse in public. I do find it easier to use 2 slings to tandem nurse.


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

When I had my first two tandemers I was a brazen nurser. I have gotten much more aware, or shy or something over the years, and my tandemers are so much older now anyway. But I tend to prefer nursing them one at a time while out too. Sam(my 4.5 yr old) doesn't usually ask, unless he gets really hurt or something, and Violet(2.5) is too busy for nursing while out anymore. LOL


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## Oana (May 15, 2006)

I am new to this tribe. I am nursing my son (to be 3 in Sept) and my 9 month old daughter.
How much "parallel" nursing do you ladies do, and how much is "sequencial"? I find I mostly nurse them one at a time, with an average of 1-2 times a month when they nurse at once for a few minutes...

Chanda, it took about 2 months for my son to reach an equilibrium after my daughter was born and the milk came in.

Oana


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## firstwomantomars (Mar 2, 2005)

:

Just noticed this tribe and can't remember if I've joined before









I have tandem nursing 2 year-old and 2-month-old daughters.

It's going great so far although I was SOOOOO worried and full of questions and doubts while I was pregnant...

Great seeing others here!


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

always nice to see more tandem mama's







:

also regarding nursing in public...seems like (to me anyways) that the older nursling (toddler and beyond) isn't as interested in nursing when your out in public. there's always something else to see (not always the case, but mostly...at swim practice the other day for my older boys, my dd who is 3 needed to nurse and she usually doesn't...so she nursed while her little brother was occupied with my feet and the fence i was leaning against. it was a morning practice and she isn't much of a morning person).
seems like at home is when i get nursed out







many times i take my kids somewhere just to give my nipples a break.


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## AspenRayne (Jul 3, 2005)

As far as NIP with 2 nurlings....I almost never nurse my 2.5 yo DD anywhere but at home. Exceptions are if she is upset or hurt and needs to comfort herself for a few SECONDS (I count to 10). I know she is older than 18 mos, but I just tell her that it is not time to nurse right now, but she CAN xyz (give othoer options eat/play/whatever) and she usually gets distracted/accepts it. I also almost never nurse them both at the same time as I find it overstimluating. I think that distraction can work really well with older nurslings, and nursing baby in a sling will probably help them not even to notice! GL...


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## mommajb (Mar 4, 2005)

I am willing to be the odd one out.

I rarely nurse(d) my two simultaneously. The few occasions that I did so we were very much in public. I think being in the crazy environments (The Children's Museum with all the excess stimuli and such) made us all need to settle down and reconnect. I wasn't very accomplished at knowing just what I wanted the nurslings to do so I would find a spot where I was comfortable sitting down for a while, position the littler one and then invite (or let) the older nursling find her spot.

Who knows how I'll handle it this next time around. The more older children I have to keep an eye on in public the harder it feels like everything is.


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## 2mama (Feb 3, 2006)

I don't think I have joined this yet!!

I am tandeming my 3.5month old and my almost 2.5 year old! We do sequention nursing most of the time, but I have nursed them at the same time about a dozen times but never in public. DS rarely asks when we are out and about any more.

Does your older nursling seem to nurse objects more now that you are tandeming? Ours does and he even has to "pump" for them before we leave the house


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## AspenRayne (Jul 3, 2005)

My DD 2.5 is always "borrowing" my breast pads and pretending to nurse things or pump now that I'm nursing a baby. It's so cute!


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## kittn (Mar 6, 2006)

oh boy. im so glad i found this thread. im tandem nursing my 2 youngest (at the moment too) sammy will be 3 in august and nat is 2.5 weeks old now. they nurse together alot. if i nurse them one after he other it feels like i never have a free moment!

on the plus side. when nate is sleeping and i want to lay down. i can offer sam "nunnies" and all is quiet


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## queenbean (Apr 6, 2007)

Hey girls, count me in! I'm not tandeming yet, but I'm about 6 or 7 weeks pregnant (will find out more definitely tomorrow) and am nursing my 11.5-month-old daughter. I can tell that my milk supply is already starting to diminish, and my daughter is getting frustrated. She fusses and bites and smacks my breast with her hand because she still wants milk but there's no more coming out.

I know that she's not anywhere near ready to wean, but I also know that she's easily frustrated. When something is too frustrating for her, she'll just give up -- she wants things to work perfectly, and she wants it to work right now, and if it doesn't, well then just forget it. I do'nt want her to wean out of frustration. Is there anything I can do to help her stick with it? I don't want to force her to nurse if she doesn't want to, but I also don't want her to give up on it just because she is impatient.


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## trmpetplaya (May 30, 2005)

Thank you for the NIP suggestions! Thankfully I should have my mom and sister here for about a month after the babe's born so that should help a bit while I'm getting the hang of nursing two







I guess I'll just have to wait and see what works for all of us to really know what I'll do in public...

Queenbean - when my milk supply started to diminish, my dd was about 11.5 months as well. I started giving her water (in a sippy cup for convenience...) and she was MUCH less frustrated. I think she was so thirsty before I figured out to give her water and she couldn't communicate it any other way than by getting frustrated at the lack of milk and trying to communicate very similarly to how your dd is.

And, all you can really do to keep your dd nursing through your pg is to keep offering. That's what I did and now I'm almost 37 weeks along and dd is still nursing strong! I've yet to hear of any other way... but as long as she's nursing enough to remember HOW to nurse then she will probably start back up when your colostrum comes back in. She's young enough to not remember what your milk tasted like before pg so it's doubtful that she would wean due to taste differences.

love and peace.


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## ApprenticeMomma (Apr 5, 2005)

Hi all!!









I'm tandeming my 3 year old and one year old sons, it is good, sometimes a bit wearing, and my 3 year old has recently been telling me that he wants just as much booby as his brother, he has decided that it is just not fair for me to be freer with the breast to his little bro, than to him.

Preschooler logic is funny sometimes..he is a sweetheart, but his dad is having issues about how often he feeds, probably thinks it is not 'manly' for his 3 year old to be still nursing.

Ah well, nothing is going to stop me letting them wean themselves, so what will be will be.


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## queenbean (Apr 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *trmpetplaya* 
Thank you for the NIP suggestions! Thankfully I should have my mom and sister here for about a month after the babe's born so that should help a bit while I'm getting the hang of nursing two







I guess I'll just have to wait and see what works for all of us to really know what I'll do in public...

Queenbean - when my milk supply started to diminish, my dd was about 11.5 months as well. I started giving her water (in a sippy cup for convenience...) and she was MUCH less frustrated. I think she was so thirsty before I figured out to give her water and she couldn't communicate it any other way than by getting frustrated at the lack of milk and trying to communicate very similarly to how your dd is.

And, all you can really do to keep your dd nursing through your pg is to keep offering. That's what I did and now I'm almost 37 weeks along and dd is still nursing strong! I've yet to hear of any other way... but as long as she's nursing enough to remember HOW to nurse then she will probably start back up when your colostrum comes back in. She's young enough to not remember what your milk tasted like before pg so it's doubtful that she would wean due to taste differences.

love and peace.









nak

thanks! me dd drinks water now... my main concern is that she's already so tiny, i dont want to tke her boob juice away.







i've heard about kids losing weight when their moms lost their supply due to pregnancy, and she doesn't have any to lose. she's not scrawny, just all-over little.

thanks for the advice on keping her nursing. i'll just continue to offer, and hope for the best.


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## mommyddeville (Nov 28, 2005)

I'm a tandem mama. I'm Denice, and I tandem nurse Sam (2) and Abigail (8 months). We really tend to do sequential nursing, and I've only nursed both kids at once 3 or 4 times. Sam asks to nurse all the time now. I found that the more I let him nurse, and if I'd let him nurse for as long as he wants, he's much less apt to be possessive of my breasts when Abigail nurses.

We're actually doing really well with tandem nursing. I thought it would be much more difficult than it is.


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

tandem bump







:

Hi to all the mama's new to this thread.


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## timneh_mom (Jun 13, 2005)

We've been tandeming over 4 months here now!







DS pretty much nurses down for naps and bedtime but every so often he'll want to nurse at other times too. And of course DD is going to town, thunder thighs and all


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *timneh_mom* 
We've been tandeming over 4 months here now!







DS pretty much nurses down for naps and bedtime but every so often he'll want to nurse at other times too. And of course DD is going to town, thunder thighs and all









have you nursed them together?


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## ladybugchild77 (Jun 18, 2004)

Just wanted to po in and say I have made it 8 MONTHS today tandem nursing my girls! I can't believe the tim ehas gone by so quickly...My 2yo only nurses a few times a day but there is no end in sight...


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## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

yay for all the tandem nursing mamas and babies







It is exhausting at times but so worth it









We've made it three months and there are many days when I think my 2 yr old nurses more often than the baby. He drives me nuts sometimes but I am hoping he will slow down sometime soon. I almost never get to nurse only one at a time, they seem to both want it!

Oh and nursing both at night... I still haven't really mastered laying down and feeding both of them at the same time. I think in a few months when the baby is a little bigger it will be easier. I really do wish my two yr old would sleep thru the night, or at least not wake so often. He seriously nurses more at night than the 3 month old!!


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## onyxravnos (Dec 30, 2006)

Can I join too? I'm not currently tandam nursing and I'm not prego tey but we hope to have another babe next year and i'm really looking foward to tandam nursing! I only hope ds doesn't decide to go and self wean himself!


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

Katie, when I was tandeming in bed, I would put the new baby on lots of pillows, and the older babe on lots of pillows and lay on my back to nurse, or I would prop baby on pillows, and lay to that side, then toddler would kind of hang ofver my other side and dangle down to nurse. It sounds crazy, but it worked. LOL


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## mom2snugbugs (Nov 28, 2006)

I've been tandeming for 13 mos. SOOOOOO glad I did it! I don't see an end in sight, however...


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## torio (Jun 14, 2006)

I just found this thread & haven't read all 23! pages of posts, but count me in. I've never done anything but tandem nurse. My first babes are boy/girl twins--6 wks old today. gotta go-more later.


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## wombatclay (Sep 4, 2005)

subbing...

2yo dd and a 4 week old dd. So far so good (despite a plugged duct hitting yesterday...ouch!)


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## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

mamamoo, thanks for the tip! My two year old does end up straddling me while I lay on my side nursing the baby about half of the time. He just falls off a lot when sleepy







But propping him up on a bunch of pillows is a great idea... just need to go buy some more. Anyone else tandem nurse at night with a tiny bed? We really need a bigger one!


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## katarn (Apr 23, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Drummer's Wife* 
yay for all the tandem nursing mamas and babies







It is exhausting at times but so worth it









We've made it three months and there are many days when I think my 2 yr old nurses more often than the baby. He drives me nuts sometimes but I am hoping he will slow down sometime soon. I almost never get to nurse only one at a time, they seem to both want it!

Oh and nursing both at night... I still haven't really mastered laying down and feeding both of them at the same time. I think in a few months when the baby is a little bigger it will be easier. I really do wish my two yr old would sleep thru the night, or at least not wake so often. He seriously nurses more at night than the 3 month old!!


oh great!! i was wondering when my 2yo ds would chill out with the nursing.. looks like it could be a while.. my dd is only almost 3 weeks old and ds just cant seem to get enough.. although we did take steps to night wean him and he's been sleeping pretty good through the night so i guess i'll count my blessings.


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

good to see more tandeming mama's, especially first time mom's of twins!


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## gizzyntaz (Apr 23, 2004)

I have a question for you tandem mamas:

Did you need lansinoh when you started nursing the new baby if you used it at the beginning for the first?

I used lanolin for DS, but I'm still nursing regularly through the pregnancy. I just bought a tube of Lansinoh the other day, but I'm wondering if I should return it (almost $9!), because maybe I won't need it this time because my nipples are ready?


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

I've never needed it really...there have been times where I am sore or a little fry, but I was ok without it. I have lanolin in the house at all times now though because I use wool covers for my kiddos. LOL


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

i'm so happy this thread is still going. i kind of abandoned it after i started it. things got a little crazy.







:

in _any_ case, we've been tandem nursing for over a year now.







i never thought i'd be nursing a 3.5+ year old and a 1 year old.


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

I hear ya! Tandeming a 4.5 and 2.5 yr old.







Though my 4.5 yr old is almost weaned! He is only asking to nurse avery few days! But...I'm getting ready to do it again in a week or two. LOL


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## BonMaman (Sep 25, 2005)

A quick post to join this tribe... I'm tandem nursing my lads, ages 2yo & 4mos...


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## timneh_mom (Jun 13, 2005)

Just bumping this so people can find it!


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

my #2 child will be 6 in a few days and that will mark the anniversary of the beginning of my tandem journey (still in progress). the oldest is officially weaned as of the last few weeks. He's 7 yrs, 4 mos. I took him out to eat at Red Lobster where he impressed the servers by ordering broccoli and trout, then danced with the lobsters that were in the tank. He even got to pet one (server pulled on out for him to touch). Sooooo relieved he's weaned cause now i know it happens. At times i had my doubts. And it was on his terms. He says he's a "man" now.







(thinking of a Malcolm in the Middle where the boys in the grandma's village weaned when they got married)
My 6yr old is nursing once a day and is skipping days. He's not going to be nursing for very much longer i don't think. Of course, i've been wrong before.
Excited to be almost back to nursing only two. I have a few good years left since the youngest is almost 13 mos, but it's good to know that weaning does happen, and that full term nursing is a wonderful thing.
Tandem nursing has been a wonderful blessing to my family. It has made being a mom for me much simpler. Not always easy, and draining at times, but i really think it made it easier for me than not doing it at all.







:
Happy tandeming, mama's


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## jillmamma (Apr 11, 2005)

kirstie, WTG on your oldest! I am sure it is bittersweet for you as you are proud of him for making that decision and growing up, but a bit sad that he is taking that step at the same time.

Still going here after 4y8m. My oldest is accepting being distracted most of the time when he asks, but still seems to need to nurse every few days (I think mainly just to know he can, or when he is just overtired/overwhelmed). My "baby" will be 2 in 2 weeks, and is definitely still going strong at 4-5 times a day. He has been nightweaned since before 2, and she has pretty much nightweaned herself since the last couple of months or so. So I have had 4 years and 8 months of nursing and almost 2 of tandeming now!


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

nak...
so I thought I would be triandeming at this point. had my baby on sat. sweet baby girl, 8 pounds 8 ounces, 22 inches long. she is nursing like a pro.

sam weaned!! so i think anyway. i nursed him and violet, 4.5 & 2.5 through the pregnacy, setting some gentle limits with sam(nurse til the count of 10 type thing, he was so into it, and we had no complaints, so i think it was good, especially because he was a very demanding nurser up til that point, i think he needed the limits). by the end of my pregnancy he was only nursing every few days to a week, and setting his own limits(he wanted to count every time, i even offered him to nurse as lomg as he wanted lol).
then the baby came, he asked 2 days later, nursed once, then the next morningtold me he was weaned. I was like what? lol he said I weaned, alex(my oldest) helped me. so i asked alex and he said he told him the baby needs num nums a lot, and vi needs it too, but sam is getting so much older he doesn't really need it anymore, and sam agreed. I was so shocked. it has only been a few days, so we'll see, but i think that might be it for him.


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

oh, and I have been nursing for 10 years come nov. 8.5 of it tandeming!!


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

bumping


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