# Does your 3 year old resist getting dressed, get upset easily over no?



## mb722toddler (May 4, 2006)

Hi, my 3 1/2 year old is getting very upset and sometimes violent when I say no to her. She will not get dressed in the morning and fights going to sleep on time. It takes hours to transition as she is all over the place lately. Her father has terminal cancer and his brain tumor makes him moody at times. It has been a difficult time for us. I know this plays a part in her acting out. I know she wants to gain control.

For example, the other day I was with her -- one on one -- most of the day. I had to answer a call but she wanted to continue jumping on the bed. I could not let her jump on the bed while I was on the phone. I had to take notes but she was just screaming and I had to use my free hand to keep on removing her from the door to the room. She wanted to jump, that was that and did not want to do anything else. She just wants to spend time with her father, but due to his disease he is either sleeping or mostly aloof -- no interest in having interactions with either of us so she will anger him so she gets attention.

Her whining and constant outbursts of crying -- can you relate and how do you handle this? I used to give her more attention too, but with having to do everything myself -- I have to drag her around more often. My husband will soon be gone for weeks again -- in the hospital -- for a very risky brain tumor removal operation. I feel so irritable lately & I am not sleeping well. I'd like to potty train her but my energy is often low and she says she is not ready so pull ups are easy.

What do you do? Any advise? What kind of gentle discipline do I do? What do you do when you feel like screaming? She is so strong, I don't want her to get hurt when she has tantrums -- she will do unsafe things such as get out of the seat(belts), and climb, etc...How do you stop unacceptable and unsafe behavior? I don't know what to do!

Thanks!

Thank you!


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## mommy2abigail (Aug 20, 2005)

Mama, what a stressful time for you both! All I can say is that it all sounds like normal 3 year old behavior (mine is in the midst of it too) and probably magnified because of your home life at the moment. It's alt for her to handle, and she's too young to even start to grasp what is going on. My only advice would be to be gentle with YOURSELF, get breaks often (friends? Neighbors? Family?) and let the little things go. HTH


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## Girlymomwithsons (Nov 28, 2007)

My advice is coming from someone who has no idea what it is really like to be in your situation, but I am crying for you right now, because I have a hard enough time being the only one "on call" for my kids while my husband is away for work. I know what you mean about doing the easy thing, but I know for me, when I chose the easy route, it ends up harder in the long run. Like the PP said, please be gentle with yourself, and get some help. I would look into getting her into a playgroup or something, so she can interact with others in a neutral spot, somewhere that is just fun, and the worries and tension from home don't play into things. I don't know if this is a good idea for you and your daughter, but it's what I would do. I don't put my kids in day care, I prefer to stay at home with them, but at times, I need a break, which it doesn't sound like you are getting, so I can keep being fun and fair with the kids. Maybe sometime apart would give you both a chance to breath and you'd be able to support each other better when you both get home. Also, regular time spent with other kids may help her acting out and her lack of interest in toilet learning, because at her age, she would notice what the other kids do, and want to keep up. I hope the surgery goes well.


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## catnip (Mar 25, 2002)

Normal 3 year-olds get upset and sometimes even violent when you say no to them. They are defiant, moody and contrary. At least I hope so, because it sure descibes MY 3 year-old.

Best wishes to you.


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