# Ridiculous things people say.



## kmb9906 (Jul 6, 2008)

I took DD out shopping today for DN's birthday. I ended up going to an outdoor mall, and wore DD in my beautiful ring sling. I was in Carters Outlet, and one of the employees started fawning all over DD. Then she started saying things like, "your mommy doesn't want you to ever walk, does she? 'Cause you're not going to if she keeps you all wrapped up in that thing." and "Tell your mommy how squished you are!" Nevermind that DD was smiling and comfortable - obviously NOT squished. (And can I say how annoying it was to have a grown woman making comments about my parenting TO my child???)

Why is it that children worn in slings will never walk, yet children riding in strollers will? I have a Zippy that I've used a couple times when it was the better choice, and NO ONE has ever said anything about her never learning to walk. This is the 3rd time I've heard that she'll never learn if I keep carrying her in the sling. DH's grandma swears she will never learn to sit by herself. Do these people not realize that if this were true, a large portion of the world population would not be able to walk or sit up????


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## lanamommyphd07 (Feb 14, 2007)

"ahhh, you're just mad 'cuz you wanna squeeze her and you can't get to her, aren't ya?"
(It's worked for me)


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

Usually no one makes any comments, or only positive ones, but yesterday at my doctor's office the medical assistant came rushing out from behind the counter to "help" me adjust DD in her sling because "she looks so squished!" Yeah, my beaming, gurgling baby is terribly uncomfortable and just very good at hiding it.


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## TheGirls (Jan 8, 2007)

My favorites are "she looks so uncomfortable in that!" about my fast asleep infant and "can she breathe?" immediately after commenting on her cute little nose. If you can see the nose, she can breathe people!!

I get the "will never learn to walk" thing occasionally too. Funny thing, since my kid was holding most of her weight while standing at 8wks. She's VERY close to sitting unassisted at 3months. I'm not really sure how a stroller or just carrying her in arms would teach her to walk, I mean, until they really can walk, you have to carry them somehow!


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## ASusan (Jun 6, 2006)

I got "Can he breathe in there?" and I sassed back with, "No, I have to take him out once in a while and resuscitate him."


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## ebonysista (Mar 5, 2007)

I HATE when people make such ignorant comments. I never know how to respond to them afterwards. Then moments later I think of some snappy comeback but then it's too late. Oh well.


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## morganeldi (Nov 9, 2007)

ugh I've gotten the "He looks so uncomfortable" and "He looks squished in there!" comments too. Um, I would only hope that he would somehow let me know if he were uncomfortable, as he DOES let me know at even the slightest discomfort and is very very picky about his comfort.


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## hrsmom (Jul 4, 2008)

People are definitely funny. Yesterday I just got the "she may never learn to walk because you carry her around all the time." WHAT???!!! Weird. As for looking comfortable, in my experience babies generally let you know if they're uncomfortable!!! I don't think babies do "stoic"!!


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## eurobin (Aug 20, 2006)

Wait, what? You have a 3 month old and they are worried about her walking? I'd be tempted to say, "oh she can already walk, I'm just giving her a break." Silly questions deserve silly replies.


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## eurobin (Aug 20, 2006)

Oh...and my favorite while wearing DD in a sling was always, "they didn't have THOSE THINGS when my baby was young." Oh-kaaaay. I guess we'll just ignore that most of the world wears children in soft carriers?

I always just replied, "yeah, aren't they great?"


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## kmb9906 (Jul 6, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hannahsmama468* 
People are definitely funny. Yesterday I just got the "she may never learn to walk because you carry her around all the time." WHAT???!!! Weird. As for looking comfortable, in my experience babies generally let you know if they're uncomfortable!!! I don't think babies do "stoic"!!

LOL, DD definitely doesn't do "stoic"! She will let me know - loudly and abruptly - when she is uncomfortable! And, resting her head on my shoulder, patting my boob and "talking" (







) isn't how she lets me know she's uncomfortable!


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## TheGirls (Jan 8, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eurobin* 
Oh...and my favorite while wearing DD in a sling was always, "they didn't have THOSE THINGS when my baby was young." Oh-kaaaay. I guess we'll just ignore that most of the world wears children in soft carriers?

I always just replied, "yeah, aren't they great?"









Oh, I get that ALL THE TIME. Usually some variation of "oh the things you kids have nowadays....back when I had babies we didn't have things like that"

I should note I almost always am wearing a homemade woven wrap. IE a rectangle of cloth. I sooooo want to respond with "oh you didn't have FABRIC then?". But I'm too nice for that, so my response is the same as yours...


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## Theia (Oct 30, 2007)

I get the "they didn't have those things when I was a momma" from older women in the grocery store when I use my sling. I also wrap DD in an Ellaroo and one vendor at the Farmers & Crafters Market seemed to think that it was too bad that DD's hands were 'trapped' under the wrap. Yeah, what a shame, you don't have to worry about her grabbing and breaking something that I'd then have to pay you for.







And a few weeks ago, we were visiting my parents and DD was having a really hard time teething and the only way she would sleep was if I wrapped her. So I wore her tummy-to-tummy and then pulled one layer of cloth up to support her head effectively hiding her face. My mother was sure DD wasn't able to breathe through the cloth. I had to get kinda forceful saying that I've worn her like this for hours before and it obviously hadn't hurt her before.







**And then like magic! She woke up and began breathing again! Amazing!







**


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## mama crane (Apr 11, 2008)

Ok, I had some strange little man inform me that he spent time in Asia and Asian women carry their babies on their backs ( I had DD in an Ergo) and that is the reason so many Asians are bow-legged. No kidding. That was wrong on so many levels I just had to give him a "you are a [email protected]#" look and walk away.
Another lady commmented to herself/her friends? that "that thing looks so uncomfortable" while I was in line to pay at a bookstore....my mom and the cashier both retorted at the same time "she looks pretty happy to me!"







:


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## HybridVigor (Jan 14, 2008)

Time spent in a sling or carried close actually counts as tummy time. The motion stimulates the vestibular system, which helps develop their balance. Worn babies tend to sit up by themselves sooner, and _may_ even crawl/walk sooner (like mine did).

And the squished comment? Just say, "Yeah, it's wonderful to be able to cuddle, isn't it?" or "Squished? Not any more than a hug! ^__^"


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## LeighB (Jan 17, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eurobin* 
Oh...and my favorite while wearing DD in a sling was always, "they didn't have THOSE THINGS when my baby was young." Oh-kaaaay. I guess we'll just ignore that most of the world wears children in soft carriers?

I always just replied, "yeah, aren't they great?"









I get this ALL the time. What, they didn't have fabric 30 years ago?


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## Aubergine68 (Jan 25, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HybridVigor* 
Time spent in a sling or carried close actually counts as tummy time. The motion stimulates the vestibular system, which helps develop their balance. Worn babies tend to sit up by themselves sooner, and _may_ even crawl/walk sooner (like mine did)."

I totally believe that being worn helps balance and core muscle strength. Mine spent a lot of time in a sling and all sat/crawled/walked by 12 mo (one at 8 mo!).

I'll have to memorize that line-- "the motion stimulates the vestibular system which helps develop their balance" sounds so much smarter than "sling babies aren't as floppy as stroller babies", lol!


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## Ellp (Nov 18, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Aubergine68* 
I totally believe that being worn helps balance and core muscle strength. Mine spent a lot of time in a sling and all sat/crawled/walked by 12 mo (one at 8 mo!).

I don't know about that... I've worn both my kids from the time they were born and both were late crawlers (11mo) and late walkers (14mo, 15mo). I think how "daring" they are also is a factor as both my girls are "cautious".


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## Aubergine68 (Jan 25, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ellp* 
I don't know about that... I've worn both my kids from the time they were born and both were late crawlers (11mo) and late walkers (14mo, 15mo). I think how "daring" they are also is a factor as both my girls are "cautious".

Yes , I do agree that personality is important, too. My girl who walked at 8 mo was the most "daring" of my three, as it happened, and my most "cautious" son walked latest of all of them. But I am sure, although I have no way to prove it, that if I had not slung my children, they would have sat/crawled/walked later than they did.

Wouldn't it be fun to give birth to identical twins and be able to do controlled experiments on issues like this though ?









(Well, no, of course if I had twins, I'd be wearing both of them...I wouldn't know HOW to raise a baby without wearing her!)


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## mama_ani (Aug 2, 2007)

My favourite... with dd on my back in a mei tai

mom: Doesn't she fall out of that????!?

me: um, no.

mom: Are you sure?

me: (with an amused chuckle) On second thought, you're right, she falls out all the time. Every day. Breaks her neck each time


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## llamalluv (Aug 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mama_ani* 
My favourite... with dd on my back in a mei tai

mom: Doesn't she fall out of that????!?

me: um, no.

mom: Are you sure?

me: (with an amused chuckle) On second thought, you're right, she falls out all the time. Every day. Breaks her neck each time

















:

Too funny!


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## hjdmom24 (Mar 1, 2008)

I was wearing my son in a pouch last weekend while at an outdoor event. I overheard an older lady telling her pregnant daughter- "look at that, you should get one of those _bags_ for your baby." The daughter replies "No way! I have to carry him in me for nine months I'm sure not going to carry him like that when he gets out!"


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## kmb9906 (Jul 6, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hjdmom24* 
I was wearing my son in a pouch last weekend while at an outdoor event. I overheard an older lady telling her pregnant daughter- "look at that, you should get one of those _bags_ for your baby." The daughter replies "No way! I have to carry him in me for nine months I'm sure not going to carry him like that when he gets out!"









Wow ... that's really sad. She doesn't know what she'll be missing.


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## 1littlebit (Jun 1, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kmb9906* 
Wow ... that's really sad. She doesn't know what she'll be missing.

no kidding .. not to mention what a way to think about your LO. poor kids going to grow up feeling all guilty b/c his mom had to carry him around for nine months and what an inconvience that was.


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## RasJi7 (Sep 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *1littlebit* 
no kidding .. not to mention what a way to think about your LO. poor kids going to grow up feeling all guilty b/c his mom had to carry him around for nine months and what an inconvience that was.









aww, I bet it was just the pg hormones, grumpiness talking.

Wait until the little peanut is born and wants Mommy to hold him/her all the time. She will complain about not being able to get anything done and it will come flashing back to her. She will call her Mom and they will go out in a frenzy asking stores if they carry those baby bags







I can see it now...


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## kmb9906 (Jul 6, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kmb9906* 
DH's grandma swears she will never learn to sit by herself.

Update ... my 4mo DD sat up by herself this past weekend! She still falls over, but take that Grandma!!! :nana:


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## maizy (May 13, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eurobin* 
Wait, what? You have a 3 month old and they are worried about her walking? I'd be tempted to say, "oh she can already walk, I'm just giving her a break." Silly questions deserve silly replies.


I like that!


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## nannymom (Jan 23, 2004)

on several occasions people said to me "I guess carrying he rlike that is ok as long as she can breath." I always wanted to say "Really because I figured I might just let her suffocate but if you odn't think I should I won't..."


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## Irishmommy (Nov 19, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eurobin* 
Oh...and my favorite while wearing DD in a sling was always, "they didn't have THOSE THINGS when my baby was young." Oh-kaaaay. I guess we'll just ignore that most of the world wears children in soft carriers?

I always just replied, "yeah, aren't they great?"










What she means is "they didn't have readily available in this country/culture when my baby was young".

When my dd1 was a baby (she's 14), the only sling I could find was a snugli, others just weren't available. Admittedly, I wasn't as crunchy as now (ie. as educated), but I never saw other types of slings, either in stores or on people. Not until the last, say, 6-8 years have they become more visible.


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## janerose (May 9, 2004)

Irishmommy is right on the money. It's so easy now with the internet to get all sorts of info. I think we've kind of become insulated from how difficult info gathering was per-net. I know my Mom has become aware of A LOT of things since I had my girls that she never knew before. Her outlook on BF vs FF, babywearing, vaxing, etc have really changed. She's constantly saying, "We just didn't have that info around when you were little!" And you know what? They didn't! Or at least if they did it was much, much, much harder to come by. It's still impossible in our town to buy anything besides a Snugli at Walmart or a frame backpack at a sporting goods store.

I've gotten most of these comments, but after letting them annoy me for awhile I decided it would be much more productive to use them as educational opportunities. Replying with a smile & a sincere comment has gotten me much better results. No, it's not always appreciated (or believed), but so what? I tried. I move on.

I've also noticed that lots of the negative/odd comments I do get are from women my age or younger. Actually, when I've had my girls out in carriers older people are the MOST likely to make a comment to me like, "Oh, that looks so convenient." "You can still use your hands." "What a great way to keep them close while you're shopping." "Man, I wish they'd had those when my kids were little." That last one I ususally find to be a positive comment. Yeah, I know they're been around since the dawn of man, but most people don't mean that in a mean way. If anything it's kind of sad/pensive because they see the inherant coolness of the carrier & regret not having had that opportunity.


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## Disco Infiltrator (Jul 28, 2008)

My beloved MIL told us that if we didn't put DS into a stroller he'd never get used to it. We carried him full-time for a year. He's now 17 months and loves his stroller. HA.


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## MilkTrance (Jul 21, 2007)

People feel uncomfortable when they see attached parents. It subconciously makes them question everything they've done and have been taught.


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## Night_Nurse (Nov 23, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Irishmommy* 
What she means is "they didn't have readily available in this country/culture when my baby was young".

When my dd1 was a baby (she's 14), the only sling I could find was a snugli, others just weren't available.

Yes! That exactly! After reading the first page I was coming her to say that. I'm guilty of saying "they didn't have those when my kids were babies, or if they had them I didn't know where to find them". I had the Snugli but I wasn't fond of it and neither was my firstborn. I knew women in other countries made their own wraps but the thought never crossed my mind to "make" my own (I can't sew and I guess I assumed it had to be sewn). Anyway, some of us older moms didn't have internet back in the day and the local Babies R Us just started carrying wraps a few years back.
I've thought about getting a wrap now anyway just to carry my kitty-cat around.








I always try to compliment mamas when I see them babywearing. It looks so sweet and comfy!


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## brightonwoman (Mar 27, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ASusan* 
I got "Can he breathe in there?" and I sassed back with, "No, I have to take him out once in a while and resuscitate him."









:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eurobin* 
Oh...and my favorite while wearing DD in a sling was always, "they didn't have THOSE THINGS when my baby was young."

I've always responded to that one with "Indigenous cultures have been using them for centuries"
I appreciate IrishMommy's comment that they are not readily available everywhere (the internet sure has changed that kind of thing!), but I guess I figure that a mom who wanted to carry her baby everywehre would have...my mom did that with her first five, until she found out about slings and finally got one with her sixth baby.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Aubergine68* 
I totally believe that being worn helps balance and core muscle strength. Mine spent a lot of time in a sling and all sat/crawled/walked by 12 mo (one at 8 mo!).

My worn baby walked at 11m.
The funny thing is that I still always wore him in public because that was wintertime in alaska and we live in a tiny walking-only town (80 people) and he wouldn't have been solid enough nor able to walk fast enough to walk down to the PO Box with me for example... He has gotten faster of course (he's 20m now), so now he often walks with me (although I do still throw him on my back sometimes). People are constantly commenting "Oh, he finally learned to walk"









OK, and here's the craziest thing I have had peopel say to me--and a LOT of people have said it. They seem to think they are really clever when they do too: "gee, he's getting big. Pretty soon he'll be carrying you"
Um, ok?!

I was wearing him on my back this summer in a structured carrier (ABC style but with clips rather than ties). I know his legs stick out funny when I wear him in that, but he seems very comfortable and falls asleep in it all the time, so I'm not worried...I had one lady approach me and ask if I'd made the carrier myself. I said yes. She seemed genuinely concerned, and asked if it was ok for him to have his legs at that angle (ie, she thought I wasn't aware because he was on my back). I assured her it was. I think *I* would not be comfortable at that angle, but DS clearly is, so what's the problem, kwim?!


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## mimid (Dec 29, 2004)

We were at the mall and the girls were all asleep. Two in the stroller and one in the Connecta with the hood up. Some lady kept talking to her friend about us loud enough for us to hear about "How can that baby breathe? Its suffocating in there!" (We were in line for coffee.) When we finished paying and walked past her I said, "She breathes the same way you do."


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## _betsy_ (Jun 29, 2004)

My SIL had a big ol' travel system with her newborn in a bucket seat. She was lamenting how bulky and annoying it was, and said there *had* to be something better.

I was wearing my 1 yo DD in a pouch sling at the time, holding doors open for SIL, helping her get the stroller down the 2 steps, etc. It took me less time to get DD into the sling than for her to get baby strapped into the bucket let alone get the stroller out of the trunk, open it, get the bucket out of the car (having had to leave her child unattended in the car), put the bucket in the stroller, get it to snap in *just so,* etc.

"There has to be something easier," she said.

I said "Sure, there is!" arms out all Vanna White style.

She quickly mumbled, "Well, something *in between,* maybe."

I've had many, many more positive comments than negatives, but I've heard all the comments listed here, too.

Actually, we haven't used the sling in a LONG time, and I'm thinking about getting it out for my nearly 2 yo (this Saturday! *sniff *sniff* Time flies!) because she refuses to ride in a grocery cart, and although she can make it most of the way down to Trader Joe's and back on foot, I'm still stuck carrying her for part of it, and I'm just too PG to deal with that. Wonder what kind of comments I'll get about *that.*


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## Collinsky (Jul 7, 2004)

"This isn't the Third World." Said _very_ grumpily.







: I figure he was an example of what happens if your mama doesn't cuddle you enough when you're a baby...and took it as a sign I was doing something right!









Folks a couple generations back - the 50s generation - I think were totally sold on the idea that playpens were beneficial for babies. The whole marketing shaping culture thing. The little old ladies in my Dh's family were convinced that wearing my Dd in a sling was going to keep her from developing properly, that she needed to be in a playpen so she could "stregthen her legs" and all sorts of things. Plus it would give me a break. Dd walked at 9.5 mos. Dd2 walked at 9 mos. Ds 1 walked at 8.5 mos. Babywearing doesn't prevent walking!!!!







:


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## Beth F (Apr 19, 2006)

I have to comment on the "they didn't have things like that when....." Right before our ds was born 4.5 years ago, our SIL dropped off some baby items that she got when her now 19.5 yo and 17 yo ds's were babies. One of the items was a Nojo Sling. She didn't use them much because she's an "Independence Mom" but Nojo must have been around then.

I get both positive and negative comments. Our 2yo dd loves our MT and leaps onto my back to get into it all the time.

For Mother's Day, we hiked up a mountain on a fairly rugged trail. My MIL wondered if we took a stroller because it would easier on me. Huh.

My favorite comment: "Looks like you've got your hands full." Uh-huh.


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## velcromom (Sep 23, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Beth F* 
My favorite comment: "Looks like you've got your hands full." Uh-huh.


That's got to be the dumbest comment I get, it happens once in a while and I always wonder if they are talking to me, because they can't possibly be so dense as not to notice I happen to be holding my baby without using my hands at all?


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## Kiara.I (Aug 30, 2008)

MIL keeps asking if we use the stroller and seems fairly confused/put out that we don't. Fair enough, I suppose, since she bought it for us...

But anyway, she was visiting one time and took DS to the park in the stroller. She came back going on and on about how much he LOVES the stroller.

Of course he does. To him it's an amusement park ride. She doesn't seem to get that though.


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