# Family Bed & Sex



## Mama Bee (Aug 20, 2003)

How do you know at what point to quit having sex when one's child is in the bed? We wait until DS is completely asleep & he's a very sound sleeper once he actually falls asleep but I know at some point we're going to need to make other arrangements, so to speak. So, how do you know when it's time? I would rather not wait until it's too late and we have some sort of "incident" that traumatizes him for life. On the other-hand I don't think it's healthy to be overly cautious and give him the idea that sex is bad. Anyway, just thought I would see what you Mamas think.

**Edited to correct typos**


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## oceanbaby (Nov 19, 2001)

Well, we've always been afraid that ds would wake up if we got too active, so we move the action to the couch or even the floor if he is asleep in our bed.

I remember walking in on my mom and dad one time - I'm not sure how old I was, maybe 6 or so? At the time I had no idea what it was, and they didn't even see me. I remember just closing the door and walking back out. Years later I realized what it was, but I wasn't traumatized in any way.

I think that if ds woke up in the middle of the night, between the darkness and his half asleep state he wouldn't really get a picture of what was happening.


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## Mama Bee (Aug 20, 2003)

That's what I've been thinking, for now at least... it's dark, as long as we're not too rowdy it should be fine even if he does wake up.

It makes me feel better to know that someone else thinks so too! Thanks!


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## KarmaChameleon (Aug 25, 2003)

Well, when my older daughter was sleeping in our bed, we simply went elsewhere most of the time. She was/is a very light sleeper and we just didn't wanna wake her up.

Our 6 month old, obviously, is clueless, but we tend to stay out of the bedroom anyways, or get them both sleeping in the other room when we know things are going to get amorous.







Neither of us are turned on by the volume/movement restrictions







:


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## ima062002 (Mar 23, 2004)

I think that parents are more traumatized than kids when it comes to be caught in the action.

After all, once upon a time when we all lived in caves our babes saw/heard sex, babies being born and people die as part of life.

I don't advocate to go back in time







)), but I just wanted to illustrate that no harm can be done by it.

Move it out of the room once *you* feel uncomfortable by the prospect of ds seing you or after he will for the first time - your baby will be fine with it.

Patricia


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## perditafoster (Sep 30, 2003)

We were on vacation a few weeks ago and dh and I were fooling around under the sheets. DD (13 mos) was playing on the floor, just messing around. DH and I were not going to dtd, obviously, since dd was still awake. But we were rolling around, giggling, ya know, teenager stuff







Anyway, dd gets up, walks over, grabs the edge of the sheet, and looks at us underneath it! ACK!!!! and then she laughed!!!! It was like







"Hi, mom and dad! Whatcha doin' under there?" We told her if she wanted a little brother or sister to go back to playing :LOL Anyway, I think that once a child is about 2 or 3 it might be time to not let them see any nakedness except for the same-sex parent, kwim? But when dd gets that old we might change our minds about that. I agree with the op about just letting your feelings decide...


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## AmandasMom (Nov 19, 2001)

We always went elsewhere, I don't even like the thought of the kitties being in the same room much less dd!


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## onlyboys (Feb 12, 2004)

Quote:

Anyway, I think that once a child is about 2 or 3 it might be time to not let them see any nakedness except for the same-sex parent, kwim?
Hum. Why? I am naked around my children all the time. (I obviously have all boys.) I mean I'd never get dressed or undressed if my children couldn't see me naked.

It's totally a personal choice, and I'm not downing you, I just really am wondering why you'd say not to let your different sex child see you naked.

On-topic: We are careful when our children are in the room, because my 2 year old is a very light sleeper. It's easier just to leave the bed and go frolick elsewhere.

Amanda


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## guestmama9924 (Mar 16, 2002)

When family members used to question where we had wild monkey love, we would reply " that is what the crib is for!":LOL sick, I know, but fun to play with their silly minds.
Seriously, the bed is not the only place to have some fun


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## lauraess (Mar 8, 2002)

funny, just today a friend w/o kids, upon hearing that we share the bed w/ the kids said " so you dont have much sex, huh?"
I laughed and explained with the old drill i give about reading all those head-lines on magazines like " spice up your love-life, get out of the bed-room!" and how now people forget you can use other rooms.
but, this weekend we did have the opporunity to really appreciate the bed and it's offerings----- the kids were at the grandparents overnite!








Laura


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## TeaBag (Dec 18, 2003)

I always have to laugh when people say these kinds of things to me...our second child was in the fb and we conceived another when she was just 4.5 months old, and our third was just four months when we got pregnant again! Obviously, fb doesn't mean no sex in our house!!! LOL!


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## darkstar (Sep 8, 2003)

We do it anywhere but in the bed...If someone asks, we just say the kitchen table:LOL


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## MamaAllNatural (Mar 10, 2004)

We usually move to another room. It is supposed to "spice things up" afterall! We have a kid's room with a full size kid's bed in it too so, sometimes we can actually have our bed to ourselves and it's funny, how what would be considered boring to non FB families, is the most exciting thing of all! Our biggest problem is light sleepers. They can wake at any given moment (FB or not).








T

Quote:

_Originally posted by perditafoster_
*once a child is about 2 or 3 it might be time to not let them see any nakedness except for the same-sex parent, kwim?*
Perdita,

You seem so comfortable with your sexuality and nudity, I think you sound like a family that would be comfy in the nude with your kids. I was brought up that way and I think I had a much healthier outlook than many of my friends who probably ended up having sex early because they were so curious about what a penis even looked like. Between all my brothers and my dad, it was old news to me!:LOL Anyway, my husband and I have always been nude around the kids and they are so comfortable with their bodies because of it. Just a thought...


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## Seeking Refuge (Nov 2, 2002)

I love to tell people that we use the dining room table especially when we are eating at it:LOL

Seriously though we have a pretty healthy sex life and it just depends on what kind of mood we are as to where we do it.
If we need some room, we have a huge living room floor. We also have a big whirlpool bath tub. I have to get some sconces for my bathroom though because the last time we tried to do the whole candle lit tub thing I caught my hair on fire.









My parents had sex in the tent with us once when I was about 13 and I don't think that it scarred me for life.


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## lauraess (Mar 8, 2002)

mom2radata:







>> your hair on fire, ha!!!!!!
man you guys doo have a healthy sex life!







Laura


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## onlyboys (Feb 12, 2004)

mom2radata:

Yeah! You guys are on fire! (heh, heh)

Weird mood today.







:

Amanda


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## jadegirl553 (Mar 28, 2004)

well, my hub isn't home that often so that solves that problem!
Just kidding!

Actually, when we do have the time/energy, our little peanut usually goes to sleep for the first part of the night in his little cradle at the foot of our bed. It gives us more room









Sometimes, tho, we use the couch (very fun)! And sometimes, he's still asleep in his car seat, when we come home, that's always fun. (we bring him inside, of course!) Once, tho, he woke up, but hub put tim in his cradle anyways to let him play, and he was fine, he's got no clue of what's going on!

Hope that helps!
Desiree


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## Miekesmummy (Jun 13, 2003)

We've never done it with our DD in the same room let alone the same bed, it just never felt right for us.

We go elsewhere or wait until she's in her cot.


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## Paxetbonum (Jul 16, 2003)

I once heard an old married couple with eight children say that family bed makes the parents love life much more romantic becuase you are always finding new and exiting places to make love. They joked that in a house full of eight children it was probably a bad idea to open an empty closet door or you might get an eyeful!

I just thought that was so hillarious.
:LOL


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## MommyWendy76 (Jan 24, 2004)

We place Caitlin in her crib for a little while (Shes asleep) and then when she wakes up again we put her back in our bed!


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

We really need to get another bed; we are fat people with no couch, and the floor doesn't really work for us (because we're fat! :LOL). At any rate, our sex life is much better now, because we're both so eager when it happens that Eli is asleep and we're both awake. It's so funny, he'll go to sleep and we'll look at each other and just strip and run. :LOL


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## momsgotmilk4two (Sep 24, 2002)

Quote:

_Originally posted by perditafoster_
*Anyway, I think that once a child is about 2 or 3 it might be time to not let them see any nakedness except for the same-sex parent, kwim? But when dd gets that old we might change our minds about that. I agree with the op about just letting your feelings decide...*
What if the child is still nursing at that age? Kinda hard to nurse without letting them see your boob:LOL

Seriously though, my 2 and almost 4 yr old sons see me naked still. We are not the kind of family who will be walking around naked in front of our teenagers, but we definatly feel comfortable with it at this age


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## Seeking Refuge (Nov 2, 2002)

You know I was going to ask about that too. Ds is almost three and still sees me naked all the time and he runs around "naky" in front of the girls (11 and 8). The girls see me naked but dh isn't terribly comfortable walking around naked in front of anyone.

I think it is more a personal comfort issue.


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## nikirj (Oct 1, 2002)

My kids are very sound sleepers and we're not very - er - acrobatic, so we will sometimes have sex in bed while they're sleeping. They've never woken up.

Although once when we were in another room, DD (then 3.5) woke up and came looking for us. We didn't know she was there until she spoke up - "fun!" she said (her word for when we all bounce around on the bed and tickle and stuff). We were under a sheet and she didn't see anything explicit, so it didn't seem to have an effect on her, but my how embarrassing for us!

We are naked around the kids (2.5 and 4yo) all the time. My parents were naked around us all the time (it is still acceptable in that house to go streaking across the living room if you've forgotten to bring a towel into the shower or something). Some people think that this is pretty deranged, but I kinda like that I have no qualms about taking a full shower in the locker room.


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## Rach (Nov 11, 2003)

We have sex, whereever! The couch, the floor, the bed. When she was younger, she was still in it, sound asleep, seperated from us by pillows. Now that she's older, she's moved to the playpen beside the bed. Sometimes, if she's awake, we'll put her in the playpen to play and put up a pillow so she can't peek. She's only 7 months, so I'm sure she doesn't have any clue anyway.

Once I saw my parents and they told me to leave. I wasn't scarred by it, and I was 4.
I heard my parents having sex when I was a bit older (9) and I'm not scarred for life.
Sure it was icky at the time, but puh-leeeze! How do you think I got here in the first place?!?!?!


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