# About my really unfortunate interview



## rsummer (Oct 27, 2006)

I had an unusual day today...

So I went to re-interview today for the graduate program I got into last year, but turned down my spot after Asa was born and we thought he was going to have surgery this summer. When I reapplied I wrote a letter telling them that I lost Asa, but remained committed to following through with the program.

So fast forward to today, I am at the interviews for a very competitive grad program and am sitting waiting to go into my clinical interview. The director of the program comes over and looks at my name tag and says "How do I know you?" to which I say, "I was accepted last year but wasn't able to come as my son was sick." It took him all of .1 sec to place me. And someone who didn't know that I had lost my son said, "But he's ok now..." To which I said, "Actually I lost him." Pause... Pause... Akward Silence... Pause... Then, in an effort to make everyone else feel less uncomfortable, I said, "But I am back again this year." Immediately the person came to get me for my interview and I BOMBED IT. Prior to going back to the interview room I was literally just trying not to cry. Not that today wasn't stressful enough. I just didn't hit a groove after that...

For so many reasons I just want to cry. I keep telling myself that if I don't get in this is my opportunity to spend more time with my bun due in January.

The cardiothoracic surgeon's nurse called last week to schedule a time to review Asa's autopsy (thats right only 9.5 mos later, the pathologist has finished their paperwork) with us, to which I said let me call you back after Sept 17. The same day the OB called to say that although the perinatologist said nothing to us about any problems, we are getting rescanned due to an enlarged kidney.

I am just feeling deflated, and bummed, and deflated.


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## mrsbabycakes (Sep 28, 2008)

Aw, jeez. I'm applying for a competitive grad program as well, and I can't imagine the position you've been in. Call them. Explain what happened. I can't imagine that they wouldn't give you another opportunity.


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## Fireflyforever (May 28, 2008)

Ouch. I am sorry that you went through that. I agree with Aurora - could you ring and explain your position?

I'm sorry too that the results from Asa's have been delayed for so long and I hope too that your rescan shows no problems.

(((HUGS)))


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## vbactivist (Oct 4, 2006)

I'm so sorry, rsummer.


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## MiracleMama (Sep 1, 2003)

I'm sorry. That must have been so tough.


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## MI_Dawn (Jun 30, 2005)

Oh man... I'm sorry.









About the enlarged kidney thing... it's actually very common, esp in boys...my first son had it all the way through my pg and they even tested him after they induced me (2 wks early - because of the kidney and the "safer out than in" theory) and he was totally fine, no problem at all.

Just anecdotal, I know, but I wish someone had told me that back then when I didn't even have the Internet to research on!


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## Cheshire (Dec 14, 2004)

Hugs, momma. I hope you can feel our support 'cause you got it.


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## Lucy'sMommy (Aug 26, 2009)

I'm sorry.


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## ArtsyHeartsy (Nov 11, 2008)

I'm sorry you had a bad day. I hope that things go well and they accept you!


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## Jules09 (Feb 11, 2009)

That sucks.







I'm hoping that they took your background into account, and also the fact that they admitted you last year. I'm so scared of interviewing when I graduate, I think you did really well.


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## NullSet (Dec 19, 2004)

I'm sorry it was such a crappy day.


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## Vespertina (Sep 30, 2006)

What a rough day. I'm so sorry.







And 9.5 months to receive the autopsy report? Wow. I hope they're sympathetic and understanding about your situation. Many, many hugs.


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## rsummer (Oct 27, 2006)

Thanks guys for all the support!

I've made my peace with the interview. And I actually am fine with not getting in, or the possibility at least. Because I really wouldn't mind not having to split my time in so many directions so that I can spend as much time with the bun as possible.

Thanks guys!

And although I haven't been planning on finding out the bun's sex, the enlarged kidney does make me wonder. I want another boy badly. Dumb. Irrational. I know. But I keep talking to the baby, refering to it as Benjamin. And he just kicked... See there I go again. So I have been thinking about finding out the sex just to know. And get it straight in my head in case of the unexpected.

Sigh... To be loss free and nieve again...


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## mrsbabycakes (Sep 28, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rsummer* 
Sigh... To be loss free and nieve again...

I'm with ya. I'm only 9 1/2 weeks in and I can't help but think that every single day.

I'm glad you're at peace with the interview. All things in due time.


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## Amy&4girls (Oct 30, 2006)

I'm sorry.


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