# WWYD regarding riding in someone else's car?



## angelachristin (Apr 13, 2007)

I am flying to the east coast to visit family for thanksgiving. we are flying with 2-year-old DS and his Britax Boulevard. my dad is picking us up at the airport and is already not OVERJOYED about picking us up at 7 am. He will be driving his wife's minivan that has 2 carseats already in for their other grandchildren, a 3 or 4 yo and a 1-year-old. I'm sure they are both forward facing, because they are like that. SO he was like "Jackson just needs to sit in one of the other carseats, I'm not installing his carseat at the airport, I'm just pulling up to the curb and getting you." WWYD? Do I insist on installing my boulevard rf or just put my kid in a forward facing inferior cheapo seat for one ride and then install the boulevard when we get to his house for other future rides? It's probably a 30 minute to 45 minute drive on major highways. I'm thinking I'm going to have to tell him tough cookies and install my boulevard, right?


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## an_aurora (Jun 2, 2006)

Well, the straps probably won't be set right anyway, so I'd just insist on installing the Blvd RF. A LATCH Blvd install only takes a few seconds, and you can do that real quick while everyone else is getting luggage loaded.

Can you take a taxi to his house to avoid the situation altogether?


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## janasmama (Feb 8, 2005)

Although many people do keep their DC RF for as long as possible, 2 yo is pretty close to being FF for lots of kids; and I guess itdepens on which end of the 2 yo time line they are on. (My DS is only 21 months and 30+ pounds.)

Britax seats are my preference but they aren't necessarily superior seats. There are lots of seats that meet the same standards.

What I would do is scope out the seats when you get there... the straps like PP said, whether they are installed correctly and whether they look ancient or not.

Then if you feel the need to install yours do so and tell your dad you're sorry to take his time but that you feel strongly about this b/c of your knowledge about car seat safety.


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## Twinklefae (Dec 13, 2006)

I would install my carseat, and it's a Scenera. But that's mostly because I can't stand having my Father say those kind of things to me.







When my Dad tried to pull a trick like that the other week I was able to say that we'd just take my car. Is there any other ride you could get? Is a taxi feasible? (They often have a flat rate to the nearby towns)


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## Arwyn (Sep 9, 2004)

Well, no way in heck would I ask him to do the install. Without even talking to him, I'd just pull out one of the others and install mine. If he has latch, it really doesn't take long, and only about another half a minute if it's not. You can do that at the curb.

If it were a seat that I knew and trusted (and could verify was installed well), and a driver who was good, I would just use the FF seat, though. But I turned my kid at 18 months.


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## angelachristin (Apr 13, 2007)

Thanks. He's just barely turning 2 and weighs 25 pounds soaking wet on a good day. So he's very far from turning FF in the boulevard.


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## StephandOwen (Jun 22, 2004)

Just ask your dad to help load up the luggage in the van. Jump in, install seat, buckle in kid and I doubt he'll even notice before he starts driving off again


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## snomnky (Jul 9, 2006)

I would definitely install my own seat, If he has a hissy fit, offer to go rent a car. I let DS ride in someone elses seat to the zoo, when we got there, I pulled on the belt and the damn thing wasn't installed, like belt clipped, but not tightened at all, I was pissed. DS doesn't ride in anyone elses seat anymore and I am a bit of a bitch about it.


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## TCMoulton (Oct 30, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *angelachristin* 
Do I insist on installing my boulevard rf or just put my kid in a forward facing inferior cheapo seat for one ride and then install the boulevard when we get to his house for other future rides?

Being inexpensive does not necessarily mean that a car seat is inferior to a britax. All carseats meet strict standards in the US and while a more inexpensive carseat may not be as plush as a britax does not mean that it is a junk seat. What's most important is that the seat is properly installed, something I am sure you will be able to tell pretty quickly at the airport. If the seats are securely installed then use one and install your carseat once you are back at the house.


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## PassionateWriter (Feb 27, 2008)

my kid rides in his seat rf;ing period.

if hes being an ass its an excuse for you to be too i guess.


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## snoopy5386 (May 6, 2005)

If the seat was well installed and the harness straps were ok, I would just let him ride. I don't know how you folks do it, but I can never install a RFing seat without 2 adults and at least 10 mins of huffing and puffing. Our BLVD is installed RFing in our car, and NEVER comes out (usually a 20 min install with DH cursing the whole time as he kills himself to get it tight enough). When we travel DD rides FFing in a Scenera. I have tried 3 times in 3 vehicles to install the scenera RFing, with and without the pool noodle and have never been able to do it, so I gave up and she is FFing now.


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TCMoulton* 
Being inexpensive does not necessarily mean that a car seat is inferior to a britax. All carseats meet strict standards in the US and while a more inexpensive carseat may not be as plush as a britax does not mean that it is a junk seat.

While I agree that other seats can be excellent also... I disagree that the US has anything resembling "strict" standards.









-Angela


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## alysmommy2004 (Jun 23, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alegna* 
While I agree that other seats can be excellent also... I disagree that the US has anything resembling "strict" standards.









-Angela









: I agree with Angela

If it were me I would install my seat or take a cab/get a rental. The IL's are always trying to pull crap like that on me and I refuse. I've made it clear that I'd rather pay to rent a car than have a free ride jeopardizing my DCs safety.


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## ErikaS57 (Jul 15, 2008)

I'd definitely install your seat. The straps on the FF seats are likely at the wrong height anyways so you'd have to adjust those which would take at least as long as just latching in your BV yourself. The straps on the 1yo's seat would probably be too low, and who knows what the 3/4 year old is in - might be a booster! Is your DH going to be with you or just you and DS? If DH will be there, then you could probably install the seat while he's putting luggage in the trunk & it wouldn't take much longer.


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## thepeach80 (Mar 16, 2004)

If nothing else, I'd just install his seat ffing in the 3rd row. It's possible to get it rfing in the 3rd row as well usually so you could just do that and then sit in the back w/ him. Then there's no uninstalling the seat that are already in there.


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## mrscompgeek (Nov 15, 2007)

If I were you I would tell him tough luck Im installing my kids seat! I mean really, its YOUR kids, your responsible for the safety of your child. To me it sounds absolutely ridicules that he is refusing to let you install a car seat that takes a minute at the most to install. . .


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## JoyofBirth (Mar 16, 2004)

I would try to be super nice about it. Just because I believe you can sometimes kill them with kindness. And if not, at least you're not all worked up. I always install any seat my kids ride in myself. And I don't really care who I offend. I just turn it around and say I'm really paranoid about this stuff and I have to know. The only 2 exceptions I make are my dh and my step-dad, who both install properly and very, very tight. My oldest dd has only needed her carseat one time when we were rear-ended. We were hit pretty hard and she barely realized it. What if that was the one time I got sloppy? Would it have been worth it in the end to save aggravation and have her injured? I was so grateful that I learned how to use our seat properly and she was safe and secure. I had to go to the hospital with her riding along and even grilled the paramedic about the seat they were putting her in in the ambulance. Don't feel bad for protecting your child. If your instinct says to install yours, then tell him.


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## sunnymw (Feb 28, 2007)

IIRC, you can install the BV with seat belt, and have the seat belt going over top of the cover (so you don't have to stick your arms in the cloth and all that crap). There are slits in the cover on the sides to do that, and it makes a seatbelt install take less time than a LATCH install, for me. I do this when I have to put DS's BV in GMIL's car, b/c her LATCH anchors are really screwy and tough to hook into.

But yeah, no option at all, I'd install my own seat, end of story. I'd hope that he cares enough about his grandson's safety to sit and do nothing for 3 minutes.


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## PassionateWriter (Feb 27, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sunnymw* 
IIRC, you can install the BV with seat belt, and have the seat belt going over top of the cover (so you don't have to stick your arms in the cloth and all that crap). There are slits in the cover on the sides to do that, and it makes a seatbelt install take less time than a LATCH install, for me. .

does your manual allow that? i have never seen a refernce too an install likr that in any of our manuals. im just wondering if its a matter of diff. dom's.


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## sunnymw (Feb 28, 2007)

Passionatewriter---YES (I had to double check). It's on page 16, and it says "The vehicle belt can be routed over or under the cover"


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## JoyofBirth (Mar 16, 2004)

My marathons install like that. The cover is made with slits like the PP said so that you can do that.


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## PassionateWriter (Feb 27, 2008)

wow...i had thought i read teh "whole" thing and had to go back twice now just to see that. another convenience for Britax i guess. thus far ive only used LATCH so havent paid much attention to a seat belt install (did it with the MA before but not w/ teh BV...thanks for having me go back over my manual...not everyone has LATCH so i probably needed a refresher on that anyway just in case we ever needed to transfer the car).


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## KBinSATX (Jan 17, 2006)

Your post is giving me flash backs! LOL
I hauled a Britax Boulevard all the way from Texas to Europe. We spend lots of extra money so DS would have a seat and could use the car seat in the place. And then of course we expected to use it once we arrived in Europe.
My mom had send my sister and her husband to pick us up at the airport.
The problem? They also brought their grandchild which means NO space for DS or his seat.
We had to drive home with DS on DH's lab! It makes me SO VERY ANGRY. To think I hauled that Britax monster of a carseat across the ocean just to risk DS's life like that!
After that we said we'll never depend on other people's good sense again when it comes to our child's safety.
From now on we will rent a car and stay in charge of how we transport our children.
If you can't count on your family to do it right then perhaps renting a car yoruself would be a good option for you as well?


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## milkybean (Mar 19, 2008)

His expectation is that he'll pull up and go. Well, if you are still OUTside of the car, installing a seat, is he still just going to go????

We used a Scenera as our travel seat, and even my childfree brother was patient enough to wait the couple minutes while hubby or I installed it. Doesn't take that long, especially with my brother busy putting things in the back seat and chatting about our flight and so on.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Tell your dad to take the car to a CPST and have them install one of the carseats RF. And he can set the straps to below your ds's current torso height as well (you'll still need to double-check on arrival, of course.)


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

How does your child measure up, size wise, to his cousins who have seats already installed in the van? If the 1yo is close to his size and still RF, then I'd just use that seat and install your own carseat later.

I'm not 100% positive that taxis will have appropriate seatbelts in the back for installing carseats- you might want to call the airport where you'll be flying into, and get a taxi co name from one of them, and find out if a taxi ride would be safer than your dad's minivan.


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

I'd simply take a cab (ask for a mini van) and spare everyone whatever bad feelings might cloud the visit. No harm, no foul.


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## paquerette (Oct 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *UUMom* 
I'd simply take a cab (ask for a mini van) and spare everyone whatever bad feelings might cloud the visit. No harm, no foul.

45 min cab ride would be pretty $$$$. Might be cheaper to rent a car for the whole visit!

I'm in the install your own seat camp.


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## Golden (Mar 15, 2002)

take a cab, or install you seat in the third row or whereever the other two seats are not. Remind him that the straps for a two year old will be coming through different slots than they will be for a 1 and 4 year old.

What kinf of minivan is it? Hondas and Britax are easy peasy with latch.


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## EviesMom (Nov 30, 2004)

If you're fast and skilled at installing your seat, like 5 minutes or less, I'd just hop in and do it while your dad puts luggage in the back.

If the relationship isn't strained, might another option be to put DS in one of the cousin's seats for the initial "get out of the airport" pickup, but ask your dad to stop at a gas station or restaurant 5-10 minutes later so you can install your own seat? Or to pay his costs for the parking? I remember when we fly into Denver, the pickup area was far enough from the airport exit that if you pulled in, spent more than 3-4 minutes loading up, and drove directly back out, you'd still get stuck with a parking fee. And Cleveland when we were there earlier this year, relatives told us airport security was obnoxious about anyone sitting there loading or unloading slower than they thought it should be. Come to think of it, DH and I got hassled a couple years ago at Newark for the same thing, the security guy felt it was taking us too long to get DDs car seat installed. Might one of those situations be what your Dad is worried about?


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## angelachristin (Apr 13, 2007)

I just wanted to update this thread and tell you that you were all super helpful and that everything went as well as it could have. My dad actually arrived at the airport before we did so he had to park and come inside to wait for us, so when we got to the car it did have some sort of seat installed FF, not sure what but it didn't have a 5-point harness, although it did have a tether that was installed. My dad said, "Do you want to use that one or install yours?" And I said I wanted to install mine which took literally 2 seconds with LATCH (it's a honda minivan, it was sosososo easy)







: and that was that.

of course, when he took us back to the airport 10 days later he insisted on using his own tiny acura but that is another story...hehe.


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## an_aurora (Jun 2, 2006)

Yikes, I'm glad you brought your own seat instead of using that one!!

I'm glad it all worked out


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## alysmommy2004 (Jun 23, 2006)

Good, I'm glad it worked out!!


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