# Well here's one "up side" of hot saucing



## maya44 (Aug 3, 2004)

My DD age 9 was in the room with me while I was getting dressed a week or so ago, and there was a Good Morning America piece on TV about that insane Lisa woman and her ideas about hot saucing.

Usually, I turn off the TV immediatley when something inappropriate comes on but I thought it would be interesting for my DD to see the discussion of this.

She of course was horrified. She said "you wouldn't do that would you mom." I was happy that it sounded more like a statment than a question and I confirmed that I wouldn't. I told her how wrong i thought it was and how I didn't understand how people could do this.

Well this weekend she had a friend over and the friend saw a box of crackers that said "HOT and Spicy with Real Tabasco" and then said "OH Tabasco, my mom puts that in my brother's mouth when he's bad"

Well DD and I exchanged the kind of look you would with a friend when a third person has said something you are appalled by. We kind of looked at each other like "Oh my god!"
Then after her friend left DD turned said "Wow could you believe that" And I said no. And then she said (and she was just cracking up as she said this) "And I alwasy thought you were mean!" And we both started laughing.

This whole thing. Our looking at each other and our talk, it was just this feeling of her and me being in on this thought together like you would with a girlfriend. It was really cool.


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## KellyB (Jun 15, 2006)

I'm about to sound really dumb here, but what is "hot saucing"?
Please don't tell me parents torture their children with painful capsatia(sp) containing spices to "teach" their children....????


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## BunintheOven (Jan 14, 2003)

Yes Kelly







some people unfortunatly do this.


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## Aura_Kitten (Aug 13, 2002)

i would say one other "up side" is that some kids end up loving hot sauce.









(for the record, i think it's a horrific practice that no child should be subjected to.)


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## rebeckyr (Aug 7, 2004)

It has gained attention lately because Lisa Whelchel (sp), Blair from The Facts of Life, has been promoting it in her book. Its amazing how many people think this is acceptable, and rationalize it by saying its edible so its ok.


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## MamaAllNatural (Mar 10, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *maya43*
This whole thing. Our looking at each other and our talk, it was just this feeling of her and me being in on this thought together like you would with a girlfriend. It was really cool.

That is so sweet Maya. Thanks for sharing.









BTW, I think my friend was working on a TV show some months back with that Lisa lady. She really liked her. She won't anymore after I tell her this.


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## Evergreen (Nov 6, 2002)

We had a big discussion about hotsaucing in one of my workshops ( I am A Social Worker) and it has been specifically classified as asbuse.

I know I am preaching to the choir, but for those of you with friedns who do this, the word is getting out and the research is being done.


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## Celtain (Mar 10, 2004)

I can't believe that people actually think that is acceptable, I freaked on my dh when he gave ds a wedge of lemon when we were out to dinner, just to see the look on his face when he bit into it.

I told him if he thought it was so funny when we got home, I would blindfold him and put something in his mouth just to see his reaction. He didn't think it was so funny anymore!!!


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## maya44 (Aug 3, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *embens*
I can't believe that people actually think that is acceptable, I freaked on my dh when he gave ds a wedge of lemon when we were out to dinner, just to see the look on his face when he bit into it.

I told him if he thought it was so funny when we got home, I would blindfold him and put something in his mouth just to see his reaction. He didn't think it was so funny anymore!!!


Wow, did it really bother your ds? My kids have always loved lemons and have sucked on them since they were babies.


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## chow46 (Aug 21, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *maya43*
Wow, did it really bother your ds? My kids have always loved lemons and have sucked on them since they were babies.

My oldest, being curious like a lot of one-year-olds, picked one off my dh's plate and bit into it. The look was priceless but then he laughed and kept sucking on it. Now, don't you dare go without giving it to him!!!


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## shantimama (Mar 11, 2002)

I am really struck by the violence of hotsaucing right now.

Sometimes when I am at my wit's end with my children (4, 6 and 8), really angry and frustrated, I look at them and try to remember when they were little and nursing (less than a year ago for my little one.) There is something about remembering that mouth that is open and yelling or making an angry face, used to open for mommy-milk when things were rough, that always softens me and increases my patience. I cannot imagine intentionally putting something in their mouths to hurt them - it goes against everything I worked so hard to give them when they were babies and little children! Who knows, though. Maybe those who think hot sauce belongs in "naughty" childrens mouths don't really think that breasts are what should be going into those little mouths.

I know there are far wose forms of violence against children out there, I am just struck by how awful this practise is, particularly for children who are still in the oral storage.


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## mommabear (Mar 5, 2002)

What an awesome post, Shantimama!


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## jinkel (Sep 17, 2004)

Yah, I told DH about this, and he said, "Why bother with the sauce? Why not just put out a cigarette on their skin?" He was horrified....


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## Pigpen (Dec 12, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Evergreen*
We had a big discussion about hotsaucing in one of my workshops ( I am A Social Worker) and it has been specifically classified as asbuse.

I know I am preaching to the choir, but for those of you with friedns who do this, the word is getting out and the research is being done.

Please tell me more...I'm so saddened by this "practice", after seeing this thread I am thouroughly depressed. It's not only cruel, but seems potentially dangerous to children. If it is officially classified as abuse, how can Lisa Whatsherface still be promoting it in a book? What exactly is done to the child who is "hotsauced"?


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## Nickarolaberry (Dec 24, 2001)

This is just so sad. I just don't get it, why people don't treat children as human beings deserving of respect, much less love.

The biblical injunction "treat others as you would have them treat you" does not include an exception for children. You know?


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## ~Nikki~ (Aug 4, 2004)

I've eaten a jalopeno pepper on a dare, and it was up there with one of the most miserable moments of my life. I could never inforce this type of "punishment" (abuse) on my child.

What is wrong with just talking to a child when they've done something wrong? My daughter is only 15 months old, yet she understands me perfectly when I tell her that something she's doing is bad, without me even having to raise my voice. Sure, kids will challange you as they get older, but that's no reason to start abusing them. Ridiculous.


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## hipumpkins (Jul 25, 2003)

To the OP: I'll bet your daughter had the same great feeling you did. I have memories of those moments when you are "in" on it with your mom. So awesome!!

About the hot sauce...there was thread here about it and it stated that the maker of tobasco came out and denounced the practice saying it could cause severe reactions in children (throat closing stuff) right after that I was at the pool with a friend who watches children in her home. She mentioned one of the moms was going to try hot saucing. My friend didn't think there was anything wrong with it. I told her about the tobasco presidents' statement and she said, "Oh wow!! I had no idea I will definetly tell the mom" so if nothing else at least word is probably getting out about how bad it is in SPITE of Blair!!


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## melissa17s (Aug 3, 2004)

When I worked in a restaurant some years ago, one of the cooks made a mistake, and gave one of our middle aged regulars salsa instead of gespacho. They looked very similar, but the salsa had more peppers. The guy took a bite of the salsa, and it made the inside of his mouth blister.
I think doing this "hot saucing" is blatant abuse, and perhaps letters should be written by concerned parents to the morning show and the publisher of the book for promoting such ideas as forms of punishment/discipline.
Maya43, I had no people would do this and think its ok. Thanks for informing us. Shantimama I agree with you.


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## cariofthevalley (Aug 4, 2004)

I hadn't heard of this at all till this thread but, wow, scary!

Here's the abc article about it and Lisa Whelchel's opinion:

http://abcnews.go.com/sections/GMA/L..._040824-2.html

What I find most horrifying is when she says this:

Whelchel said hot saucing works better than traditional spanking when it comes to offenses related to the child's mouth.

"It's a logical consequence. If you cause somebody pain, either by the words you say by lying and not being a trustworthy person or by biting, this is a logical consequence. It's your mouth that's the offender," she said.

I am ALL FOR logical (natural) consequences. For my children, the logical consequence of lying is that I no longer trust them (at least for a while) in similar situations. And that is painful enough for all of us. The MOUTH is not the offender! It's the vehicle, not the gas. How stupid!

Cari


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## Pigpen (Dec 12, 2002)

Thanks for the link.


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## Momma2LiamandTara (Nov 26, 2003)

What a horror! I went to amazon.com to see what others were saying about it. Pretty scary too much like Dr. James Dobson. Thanks for the info on this book I has no idea it even exisited. Then again I don't discpline that way.







Why on earth would people do this! I guess I'll never understand.

We should all write our opinions of this book. Here is the link if anyone wants to put up there feedback.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/AS...341798-6274452

Carrie


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## ared1 (Dec 13, 2003)

Well, let's see. I use cloth diapers, I use a sling, I breast feed and co-slept my son is intact but I put hot sauce on my daughters thumb so she would quit sucking it. Abuse? I seriously don't think so.


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## Lady Madonna (Jul 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ared1*
Well, let's see. I use cloth diapers, I use a sling, I breast feed and co-slept my son is intact but I put hot sauce on my daughters thumb so she would quit sucking it. Abuse? I seriously don't think so.

I'm sorry, but I disagree. You put hot sauce on your daughter's thumb to get her to stop sucking it and you don't consider that abusive? I see that as a violent and avoidable poisoning of her self-comforting mechanism, not an acceptable form of behavior modification.


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## maya44 (Aug 3, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ared1*
Well, let's see. I use cloth diapers, I use a sling, I breast feed and co-slept my son is intact but I put hot sauce on my daughters thumb so she would quit sucking it. Abuse? I seriously don't think so.


I just don't understand why you needed to do this. Why was it so important, did your dd want to do this? How old was she when you did this?


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## ared1 (Dec 13, 2003)

She was 8, it was just this year. She had horrible breath from sucking her thumb, it is affecting her teeth her thumb is red and cracked and nasty, the nail doesn't grow right, she gets picked on in school. She has had strep throat more times than I can remember and I am sure sticking her dirty thumb in her mouth doesn't help. I tried rewards, reminders, ignoring it, what else should I do? She knows the hot sauce is hot and iif she absent-mindedly put her thumb to her mouth she smelled it and pulled away. At her age she certainly has other ways to comfort herself, she has a special stuffed animal she has outlets for anger and sadness. It was not a comfort thing it was a habit. One that needs to be broken. They sell some nasty chemical crap that you put on the thumb to make it taste bad-also for nail biters. What is the difference?

Quote:

I'm sorry, but I disagree. You put hot sauce on your daughter's thumb to get her to stop sucking it and you don't consider that abusive? I see that as a violent and avoidable poisoning of her self-comforting mechanism, not an acceptable form of behavior modification.
Ok, in the same way you don't understand how I feel it isn't abusive, I really don't understand how you see it as abuse. Really. She wasn't harmed, she never cried, how was it violent? I will agree it was avoidable but I have tried what I know to try.
I understand people not agreeing with using hot sauce as a form of punishment but I do not understand how someone can look at what I did and call it abuse.


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## MamaAllNatural (Mar 10, 2004)




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## Evergreen (Nov 6, 2002)

THere is a big difference between putting some hot sauce on the thumb of an eight year old, with her consent, to remind her by smell not to suck her thumb and

coldly

deliberately

putting drops of it on the tounge of an unsuspecting 2 or 3 year old as punishment.

Also, it is very obvious from the OP that this is what this thread is about.

:LOL if you would have tried it with me as an eight year old, it would have backfired becasue I could drink the stuff strait! :LOL


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## maya44 (Aug 3, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Evergreen*
THere is a big difference between putting some hot sauce on the thumb of an eight year old, with her consent, to remind her by smell not to suck her thumb and

coldly

deliberately

putting drops of it on the tounge of an unsuspecting 2 or 3 year old as punishment.

Also, it is very obvious from the OP that this is what this thread is about.
:LOL

EXACTLY, if an 8 y.o. wants this to help her stop thumb sucking no problem, if she does not, though I have a problem with it.

A string wound (not tightly) can help, so can a band aid.


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## candiland (Jan 27, 2002)

When my daughter gets to that point I'll just cut her thumb off.


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## jeca (Sep 21, 2002)

my cousin's wife was just telling my mother that she should try this on my nephew as he has a real potty mouth. I know my mom's actually considering it








I honestly don't know what to do to get kids from saying stuff that they shouldn't but I know it shouldn't be something so mean or low down.


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## candiland (Jan 27, 2002)

Heck, my kids can say whatever they want. It takes time to develop manners. Heck, dh and I still have a hard time not speaking our minds sometimes! I steer them in the right direction and explain the proper and improper use of words; it'll sink in sooner or later


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## lula (Feb 26, 2003)

As a former thumb-sucker I am hoping that your daughter came up with this plan herself and applies the hot sauce herself. Otherwise, frankly I am against this approach. For me what worked was those whole finger bandages that cover the whole thumb. (they come in latex and non-latex) To me this is a more apropriate remedy. I just don't think food items should be used as punishment or training device, ever.


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## Lady Madonna (Jul 2, 2004)

I agree, lula. I am a nail-biter and have been since I was a wee girl. My parents tried everything, including the nasty chemical crap. Nothing changed and life went on. Perhaps if you really think the bad breath, etc, are related to the thumb-sucking, you should talk to your health care provider.

Fundamentally, I'm having a hard time understanding why it's OK to do something to an 8-year-old that it's not OK to do to a 3-year-old. From what I understand, that Lisa woman uses hot sauce on her older children as well, and everyone is appalled by that. What's the difference?


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## Brookesmom (Oct 12, 2002)

Shanti, your post is really moving. I wish people wouldn't spread around this idea in books.







Talk about making a child not trust their parent and also possibly hate spicy food for years and years! I don't like anything that makes bad associations with food/eating and discipline.

Wow, a lot of those 5 star reviewers are kinda out there. Definitely different type of Christians than I am. How about God is Love?


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## luckylady (Jul 9, 2003)

Quote:

When my daughter gets to that point I'll just cut her thumb off.
LMAO. I love a smart a$$ remark...

I found out yesterday that my sister hotsauces my nience who is also 2.









I called her because I was upset about swatting my DD and she said, "i'ts OK, sometimes kids need a good spanking" and then went on about trying the hotsauce thing. I was horrified and told her I totally disagree with her about spanking AND the hotsauce. I thought she had stopped spanking her kids! OMG.







But the funny thing is, my mom was a hotsaucer AND soap in the mouther and neither of us could remember WHAT we were punished for VS remembering the punishment itself. I tried to tell her that it doesn't teach anything. *sigh*

Now I have to rethink who I leave my DD to in the event I die unexpectedly...


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