# unhappy toddler



## oliversmum2000 (Oct 10, 2003)

My ds turned 2 at the end of last month and i am continuing to have real trouble with him. For i guess at least a year now he has been a very miserable child, constantly whinging, moaning and making unhappy sounds. he can be a real joy to be with sometimes, happy and dancing and great fun to play with. but at the moment, especially over the last few months he seems to have become worse and worse. everything is a crisis, everything is a disaster. i try and be uupbeat with him and jolly him along but i am exhausted in constantly trying to keep his spirits up.

i feel like such a failure that he seems unsettled a lot of the time. he can play and do things sometimes for quite a while but it just feels like he spends more time unhappy than anything else.

i really noticed how bad it had become when i looked after a friends toddler who is a few months younger than oscar, he is so sweet and cheery and calm, i cant understand where we are going wrong.

hhe is loved very much and very loving in return, when he is happy the world is great, but when he isnt, which is often its aweful. he affects everyone in our family with what feels like constant negativity.

i really woud like some ideas on how to get to the bottom o it, i just feel like i cant do anything right with him. he nurses lots and sleeps a lot which is good as otheerwise i think i would have lost my sanity by now. in the mornings when he wake up i try and avoid him as i know if i were to sit with him he would whine and cry a lot even if i am nursing him constantly he still finds time to be unhappy.

i love him so much i just really dont know what to do he is such a delightful little boy sometimes but he is such hard work i feel exhausted.

please help


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## surf mama (Jan 8, 2005)

Sounds like he is getting plenty of sleep and love!

the only thing I can think to look into is food allergies. Milk and wheat would be the two I would look at.


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## Tine (Jan 12, 2005)

Ugh, it's so hard when you love a little person so much and all you want is their happiness, but you can't seem to give it to him!









surf mama's idea about food allergies is a great one, I think. Or perhaps it could be something else physical or environmental? Has your DS been teething a lot? Growing/developing a lot? Reacting to a change in your home or family or lifestyle?

Here's hoping your boy starts feeling much better soon.


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## katallen (Jan 4, 2005)

My daughter is like this a lot. I give her words and ask her to use her nice voice. I also show her how the nice voice should sound and keep my frustration out of my voice when I do it. I do this when the whine starts to show itself. I also noticed that getting her outside a lot to run off her energy has helped her have more happy moments. Her whiney times are definitely starting to go down and often she just needs a reminder to use her happy voice. She is also very sensitive to my mood so I have to work hard to keep myself in a good mood or we will feed off each other.


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## gardenmom (Apr 9, 2003)

Also check into iron deficiency/anemia. Crankiness/irritability can be a side effect of those, and I think contributes to my dd's similar behaviors sometimes.


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## oliversmum2000 (Oct 10, 2003)

thanks for all your responses

once i posted it helped me to think things through in my head

i made a mental not of all the times when he was happy and active and having a nice time and i have tried to do those things with him a lot.

being outside is a big hit with and now spring has arrived we are spending loads of time outside, i am making sure that he is not going to bed late as he starts getting really loud and shouty and aggressive if we are late with bedtime.

i am just trying to focus more on him and home and less on the outsuide world and it seems to have taken effect already.

i am trying to do all the stuff he likes, focus on him and be proactive when we get to a potential time of the day where we may have trouble.

its funny, its just a case of me being sensible really but sometimes its hard to figure out the answers till you have talked through the problem

so thanks for listening, he seems more relaxed and cheerful by far already


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## PGTlatte (Mar 7, 2004)

I second the recommendation to try looking for a dietary cause...casien from dairy and gluten from wheat and other grains can be problems...soy and corn are less common but also potential things to explore. In December we eliminated all dairy from my diet...breastfeeding was the only source of dairy in my son's diet - and he has changed so dramatically - he has gone from a miserable, "wild", "impossible" child who could not sleep to a happy, calm, fun little boy, all just by eliminating all dairy and hidden dairy from his diet. It took 4-6 weeks to see the initial change. The only time I've gotten into dairy accidentally since then, he went nuts and it took him four days to recover from it. Eliminating one potentially problematic protein at a time for 4-6 weeks might pay off big time if you find one that is affecting him.


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