# Help! I weaned my 2 year old, now I'm engorged...



## TranscendentalMom (Jun 28, 2002)

I weaned my ds this weekend and its going great...except that my breasts are so sore I can't sleep. My friend told me not to pump as when they get engorged, the milk will start drying up soon...true? Any pain relief you know of ? Thanks.


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## Jazmommie (Nov 19, 2001)

Drink sage tea-eat some sage --eat parsley--put cabbage leaves in your bra-(gently bruised ones)

expressing a small amount to relieve the pressure a bit is ok--it will get better in a couple days.


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## CarrieMF (Mar 7, 2004)

Make the cabbage leaves cold first to help with the pain.


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## Sustainer (Sep 26, 2002)

It would be easier on you, physically, as well as easier on your baby, emotionally, of you weaned gradually instead of cold turkey. Cut out one nursing session for a week, then another and so on. In my opinion, the best thing of all, for you physically and for baby physically and emotionally, is to let the child lead the weaning process. Breastfeeding is the healthiest thing in the world for a child, and the more the better.


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## Satori (Jan 30, 2003)

It sounds like your weaning way to fast, I agree with the above poster, you really shouldn't drop more then 1 feed every 3-5 days. Its hard on your body and baby to stop cold turkey.


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## ctdoula (Dec 26, 2002)

TranscendentalMom - I've heard cold cabbage leaves in the bra works wonders. Also, what about cold packs on your breasts or expressing in the shower to relieve fullness.

SBF & Satori - why so harsh? This mama came for support with engorgement. She didn't ask how to wean her child. She stated that things were going great, which to me means that the cold turkey method was working for them (despite the engorgement issues). Gradual isn't always the best for everyone. I think that if I did have to wean my dd right now (she's just over 2), I would probably also need to go cold turkey. That's just the way I think it would work better for my dd's personality.


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## Aura_Kitten (Aug 13, 2002)

i agree w/ sbf.

i'm also thinking that if you have to cut out nursing sessions for some reason, why not pump out the extra milk for awhile and give it in sippies, with cereal, etc?

breastmilk is still the healthiest milk for a child.


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## Satori (Jan 30, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ctdoula*

SBF & Satori - why so harsh? This mama came for support with engorgement. She didn't ask how to wean her child. She stated that things were going great, which to me means that the cold turkey method was working for them (despite the engorgement issues). Gradual isn't always the best for everyone. I think that if I did have to wean my dd right now (she's just over 2), I would probably also need to go cold turkey. That's just the way I think it would work better for my dd's personality.

Not being harsh at all, some moms really dont know it should be done slowly or it didn't occur to them.


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## Sustainer (Sep 26, 2002)

What did I or Satori say that was harsh? The OP is in such pain she can't sleep, and she asked for advice. Since I don't want her to be in pain, I gave the best advice I could think of. If you want, you can criticize me for plugging child-led weaning, but Satori didn't even do that. All she did was address the OP's problem.


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## Sustainer (Sep 26, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ctdoula*
This mama came for support with engorgement. She didn't ask how to wean her child.

The engorgement is related to how she's weaning. How she's weaning is at the heart of the matter. Knowing that, it would be pretty silly not to address it. I can't help her or give her the advice she's requesting without working with her on the way she is weaning, which I believe is the key. I'm sorry if my advice offends you. Trust me, we're only trying to help.


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## UrbanPlanter (Nov 14, 2003)

TranscendentalMom, may I ask, how long did your weaning process last? Are the above posters right to assume that it was fast, like over a weekend? If that is the case, then I agree that it might be too hard on your body to wean too fast, and you could try some of the suggested remedies, but... you may find that your ds will ask to nurse in the next day or so anyway. If in fact you did it in one weekend (and this is an exciting holiday weekend) then your ds may have been easily distracted by the activities. When the weekend ends and you go back to your regular routine, he might want to nurse again.

I don't mean to be presumptuous, just going by what the other posters have said (and most of what has been said here sounds good to me... but I do lean more towards taking weaning more slowly).

If you have been weaning over time, how long?

You might want to watch for plugged ducts and possible infection, if you allow your breasts to remain engorged. It might be wise to express a little, like one poster said.

Supply = demand when it comes to breastfeeding. As the demand dwindles, so does the supply. That's why slowly weaning works so well physically.


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## WithHannahsHeart (Apr 22, 2003)

I agree it probably was too quick, but i'm glad it went well all things considering. Oh, and don't worry about those that would look down on you for weaning at two. They can do as they see fit, and you have done as you have seen fit. And I'm sure you're intelligent enough to know, without being told, that your milk is what's best







.


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## mother_sunshine (Nov 25, 2001)

TranscendentalMom, I am letting my dd wean herself when she is ready, I decided that her needs are far more important than society's opinion, so I don't have any BTDT advice. But, since this is the EB forum and allows ALL of us to participate in ALL threads (Cynthia's words), I just wanted to say that if you take weaning slowly and gradually (aka gentle weaning) then your milk supply will adjust and you will not have engorged, painful breasts. If your child is taking it well and is no longer wanting the 'liquid gold', then more power to you if that is what works best for your family. But speaking for your breasts (addressing your question), gradual weaning will definitely solve the problem for YOU.


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## Dodo (Apr 10, 2002)

I don't have any advice regarding engorgement. Just wanted to voice my support for weaning cold turkey. It worked beautifully for my daughter and for many of her little friends.


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## ctdoula (Dec 26, 2002)

I'm sorry if you were offended by my first reply. I was just taken aback by the postings suggesting she go more slowly, when it seemed to me she was already done (baby wasn't nursing anymore). If I had weaned my dd (using whatever slow/fast, baby led or mother led process) & was having engorgement problems & came for help with that, I would feel very upset & attacked if someone told me to "wean more slowly", etc., since what's done is done. I would think that if the baby wasn't nursing at all anymore, and then the mother re-started after a few days, it would be really confusing to the baby. I know it would be very confusing to my dd.

I'm not criticizing anyone for promoting CLW, but I was just trying to support the OP. We don't know what method she used. It could be completely child-led for all we know & it may be painful for us to suggest she do it more slowly when it may not have been her chice.


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## Satori (Jan 30, 2003)

Even if you wean cold turkey the milk still needs to be removed just as if weaning were occurring more naturally. A breast pump is fine to use and should solve the comfort issues. I know we will probably end up weaning cold turkey by contract which I'm not happy with and really torn about but dd will be 4 next month and is still a boob addict and I don't think "I" can handle another year of nursing even though I'll probably do it for selfish reasons (cant afford her getting sick this fall when I go to school then I just could not cut her off during flu season which means nursing till summer again!.


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## Sustainer (Sep 26, 2002)

If I had thought what's done was done, I wouldn't have suggested weaning more slowly. I personally don't think it has a negative effect on a child to let the child relieve the engorgement and then wean more gradually. Anyway, it's just a suggestion. A breast pump is another option, if my suggestion isn't agreeable.


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## lalala (May 31, 2003)

Just as a point of interest I guess. I just cpmpleted weaning DS about 4 weeks ago. We did it veeerrrrrry gradually down to once a day and alternating sides each day at that. Even still, I too became engorged. SO, my point is that you cannot assume one is weaning quicly because one complains of engorgement. It lasted about a week until the pain began to lessen.


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## Sustainer (Sep 26, 2002)

I got the impression that the weaning was abrupt (cold turkey), rather than gradual cutting down by eliminating one nursing session for at least a week, then another for at least a week, etc., until it's down to only one nursing session/day, for at least a weak, before stopping altogether.

If I'm mistaken, I hope the OP will forgive me.


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## TranscendentalMom (Jun 28, 2002)

Sorry I haven't visited the thread for awhile.

ctdoula - Thanks for the support! You read the situation quite acurately, I had already weaned and was just looking for some advice on how to ease my engorgement.

We did wean pretty fast. I had tried to gradually wean several times over the past few months and it didn't work. If ds nursed at all, he wanted to nurse all day long. While I did manage to cut back on some nursings, we did sort of go cold turkey. After 2 years, of round the clock nursing and not sleeping through the night, dh & I simply couldn't do it anymore, both of us were wiped out, I was getting impatient with ds, our relationship was suffering, dh's business was suffering.

Anyway, so yes, we did probably do it too fast. I don't mind people's suggestion that we wean more slowly, though it did come across as slightly judgemental. When you are in a desperate situation, you do desperate things. I WAS simply looking for advice on how to ease engorged breasts.

Thanks for all your input, I ended up pumping a little here and there when I needed to and the pain went away after about 24-48 hours. We are all doing great now. Ds is SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT!!! I feel great - back to my old self, dh is happy, ds is happy and doing well and some digestion problems he'd been having disappeared overnight. I think he was filling up on too much milk.

Thanks again!


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## WithHannahsHeart (Apr 22, 2003)

I'm so glad you are all feeling better and getting rest! Sounds like you have done what is in everyone's best interests. WTG mama







.


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## Sustainer (Sep 26, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TranscendentalMom*
Anyway, so yes, we did probably do it too fast. I don't mind people's suggestion that we wean more slowly, though it did come across as slightly judgemental. When you are in a desperate situation, you do desperate things. I WAS simply looking for advice on how to ease engorged breasts.

I did not mean it in a judgemental way at all. I'm so sorry you felt judged. I knew you were just looking for advice for engorgement, and, honestly, my only intention was to provide you with just that. Sorry.


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## TranscendentalMom (Jun 28, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sbf*
I did not mean it in a judgemental way at all. I'm so sorry you felt judged. I knew you were just looking for advice for engorgement, and, honestly, my only intention was to provide you with just that. Sorry.

No worries!


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## ctdoula (Dec 26, 2002)

I'm so glad you're feeling & doing better!!!!

Best wishes!!


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