# "Go the (expletive) To Sleep . . . demeans children" and comparable to racist humor



## Eavesdrop (Nov 19, 2005)

Quote:


> "Go the F*** to Sleep" should be kept out of reach of children is because of its violent language and because of the way it demeans children.
> 
> "Imagine if this were written about Jews, blacks, Muslims or Latinos," says Dr. David Arredondo. He is an expert on child development and founder of The Children's Program, in the San Francisco metropolitan area, which provides consultation and training for those working with troubled youths.
> 
> It is hard to imagine this kind of humor being tolerated by any of the marginalized groups Arredondo cited.


http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/06/27/zacharias.kid.book/index.html


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## hopefulfaith (Mar 28, 2005)

I never thought it was written to ever be read to children, actually. I think the reason it is so funny is that it is sort of the "bedtime book for adults" - sometimes what we're _thinking_ about when we put our very young children to sleep - but never to be read to them, of course.

I remember rocking my 13 month old and trying to lay him down, etc., when I was 9 months pregnant with #2. The thoughts in that book were exactly what was going through my head, to be honest.

I think that's why it cracked me up.


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## limette (Feb 25, 2008)

Is there an eye rolling smiley? It's a joke. Meant for adults who occasionally feel a little crazy when their toddlers won't go to sleep and allow their frazzled parents a little downtime.


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## sunshinemum (Feb 6, 2007)

yeah I can totally identify with this! I thought it was very funny. There has been many a time in the parenting of 3 kids that I have muttered similar things under my breath!


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

I found the arguement in the cited article inane.

This is not a book FOR children. It is not advocating violence against children. There are enough problems in the world without borrowing more.


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## tinuviel_k (Apr 29, 2004)

I saw this in a bookstore yesterday. I agree: it is not meant to read to KIDS. It is for adults and honestly I thought it was pretty funny.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

I didn't find the book all that funny, personally - but I don't agree with anything about the article in the OP. She's pulling together a bunch of random stuff and talking as though there are strong connections between them. The book is just a goofy joke for parents to read. That article is just ridiculous.


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## ramama (Apr 13, 2007)

That is the most idiotic article I have ever read. WTF are they talking about, and have they even read the book?


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## childsplay (Sep 4, 2007)

The book rocks. With all the nicey-nice bedtime stories, gentle suggestions and advice - which are great, really, to a certain point - it's just nice to see that I'm not the only person in the world who has clenched her teeth in frustration and bit back on those exact words (many times).

The article didn't even make sense....

Maybe there'll be a sequel? - along the lines of "Stop bleepin whining!" I would buy that too.


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## bandgeek (Sep 12, 2006)

I thought the book was hilarious! And I would never read it to my children. That's just dumb. LOL


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## mandalamama (Sep 1, 2004)

it's definitely *not* a book for kids! i came across the book on the web a few days after my daughter had a sleepover, it fit so well with my feelings that night, i couldn't stop giggling all day! i'm a Samuel L. Jackson fan, especially when he gets all biblical in "Pulp Fiction." the idea of him narrating a children's book is so ridiculous it's funny. my girl's pretty good at sleeping, add even one other kid and i try to be sooooo diplomatic, i wish Jackson would come knocking at my door to help me out *lol* just kidding!


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## 20605 (Oct 11, 2004)

Another example of people taking stuff WAY TOO SERIOUSLY....I mean really, come on. I guess that Doctor just wanted some time in the spot light.


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

Slightly off topic, but this seems goofy to me as well:

Quote:


> Parents often don't act in the way storybooks depict either. Putting kids to bed can be a challenge, and it may be an even bigger problem for this generation of parents because *the sacred bedtime ritual of reading to children has gone away.*
> 
> "I think it's pretty important to note that most kids in this country do not get read to at all when they go to sleep," Arredondo says.


Really? He can prove this? Regardless, I imagine that most of the small children all over the world go to sleep every single night without having been read to. So for him to wag his finger at ...who, I'm not really sure... for not reading to their kids before sleep seems a little odd to me.


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## Adaline'sMama (Apr 16, 2010)

I love it. And I have to share this:

http://www.nerve.com/news/books/listen-samuel-l-jackson-narrates-go-the-fuck-to-sleep

It SO much funnier when read aloud by Samuel L Jackson.

My favorite line is "Hell no you cant go to the bathroom. You know where you can go? The f--k to sleep."


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *journeymom*
> 
> Slightly off topic, but this seems goofy to me as well:
> 
> Really? He can prove this? Regardless, I imagine that most of the small children all over the world go to sleep every single night without having been read to. So for him to wag his finger at ...who, I'm not really sure... for not reading to their kids before sleep seems a little odd to me.


That one made me nuts. I've never read to my kids at bedtime. (I mean it's never been a routine, not that I've never, ever done it.) I like to sing at bedtime, which is what my mom did with us. But, I do read to them at other times. The whole "sacred bedtime ritual" thing kind of bugged me. I'm an avid reader, as was my mom. DH reads for pleasure (although he's not as fanatic about it as I am), as does ds1. DD1 and ds2 are both showing signs of enjoying reading, although they're still not totally into it. Reading at bedtime isn't "sacred". I think it's a lovely ritual, and I think it's a very positive thing. But, that part of the article made it sound as though putting kids to bed without a story is almost on a par with abuse or neglect. It was weird.


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## Mulvah (Aug 12, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Adaline'sMama*
> 
> I love it. And I have to share this:
> 
> ...


Yes, it is.


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## A&A (Apr 5, 2004)

Upon seeing the title, I knew instantly it was a book I wouldn't touch in a million years, let alone pay a dime for. Joke or no joke, it's demeaning, both to our children and to the work of parenting.


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## kittywitty (Jul 5, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *limette*
> 
> Is there an eye rolling smiley? It's a joke. Meant for adults who occasionally feel a little crazy when their toddlers won't go to sleep and allow their frazzled parents a little downtime.


I agree. No way would I read it to kids. But it was humorous to hear Samuel L. Jackson read it. It's funny in the same way shows like South Park are funny. I think the author of the article is missing the point.


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## sarafi (Feb 10, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *childsplay*
> 
> \
> 
> Maybe there'll be a sequel? - along the lines of "Stop bleepin whining!" I would buy that too.


SIL just bought me this as a "new baby" present. I think I would have like the whining book better







Funny idea, obviously not meant for children, I threw it away as I have children who can read and don't want them seeing it.


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## Alenushka (Jul 27, 2002)

I think it is hilarious book. If you think it is intended to be read to kids, you need counseling from a local comedian to find your sence of humor.

This book is safe way for parent to express their frustration. Just like this song:


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## Alenushka (Jul 27, 2002)

So, what do you think of Modest Proposal by Jonathan Swift? Do you think he is demeaning poor children? Should we start petition against cannibalism in England?

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *A&A*
> 
> Upon seeing the title, I knew instantly it was a book I wouldn't touch in a million years, let alone pay a dime for. Joke or no joke, it's demeaning, both to our children and to the work of parenting.


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## Super~Single~Mama (Sep 23, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *A&A*
> 
> Upon seeing the title, I knew instantly it was a book I wouldn't touch in a million years, let alone pay a dime for. Joke or no joke, it's demeaning, both to our children and to the work of parenting.


It's not for children. It's for adults, who feel like they are going to scream after 2 hours of bedtime routines and a child who is SCREAMING - "I WANNA PLAY WITH MY TOOLBOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Yes, my ds just got a toy toolbox, and I'm about to scream b/c he won't do anything without it. Except eat ice cream, which he's doing very nicely right now.

I love this book. A friend sent it to me after a rough night - and it made me laugh so ridiculously hard, it made it possible for me to go to sleep without pulling all my hair out in frustration.


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## yaboobarb (Mar 23, 2002)

Think- HBO comedian special-- not PBS!

I think it is pretty funny- taking anger and making it ludicrous. I am all for making fun of myself. 

BTW- I am all home birthy, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, hold and nurse on demand- attachment parenting and ect, etc etc...

I would not keep it in the house- or but it, but I did have a good chuckle and I sent a link to my sister.

Not for kids though------ -- until they have them...


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## marimara (Jan 31, 2008)

I just read this book last night at a friends house and it. is. so. freaking. funny! no it's not a kids book. it's funny humor for parents. i think i might pee my pants if I get to hear Samuel Jackson narrate it.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

I didn't really enjoy the book...but I have to admit that it flashed through my mind this morning. DD2 woke me up at about 3:00 this morning, then proceeded to happily bop back and forth from her room (shared with dd1 and ds2), and our room, chatting up a storm in her normal speaking voice. This continued until well after 5:00. She woke me up. She woke dh up. She woke dd1 up. She woke ds2 up (just barely, luckily - he dozed right back off). I spent about 20 minutes singing to her and rubbing her back, and she fell asleep...and then woke up and said "I want to sleep in your bed" - loudly, as I got off the bed. She jumped back and forth from my left breast to my right for I don't know how long. She slid out of our bed, went down the hall and talked to her siblings again "Wake up dd1 - wake up", then went back to our bed, and switched breasts back and forth again.

She eventually fell asleep, and I spent the next couple hours "sleeping", propped on the edge of my bed, afraid I'd fall on the floor. I won't lie "go the f**k to sleep" did cross my mind once or twice. I was sweet, gentle and very patient with dd2...but I really, really, really, really wanted her to go the f**k to sleep. The book seemed funnier at 5:00 this morning than it did when I read it, or when I heard Samuel Jackson narrate it.

If I had kids with more unsettled sleeping patterns, I'd probably own it.


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## Imakcerka (Jul 26, 2011)

Holy laugh my butt off HILARIOUS! I have begged bribed cried... I've done it all! Under my breath I've cursed DD1 out. She would not sleep! Maybe 4 hours. Maybe. I had routines... and basically they were for me after awhile.

If you can't find the humor in this then I just don't know. Now to get DD1 to sleep I seriously have to rub her back, rub her big ole flintstone feet/flappers. I even give her melatonin 1/2 mg thanks to advice from some friends. And now she will fall asleep within two hours of her bed time... Oh sweet back stabbing Judas life is grand after 10 pm!


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## muldey (May 8, 2002)

I love this book!I own a copy,and I've shown it to others who thought it was hilarious too.My dd read it(she's 13,so no big deal).I still feel that way about ds,10.The kid will not sleep!!He just keeps talking,getting up,asking me for certain toys,just driving me nuts lol.


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## grassisgreener1334 (Nov 24, 2006)

This post has been removed due to privacy reasons.


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## Adaline'sMama (Apr 16, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *rainbow_mandala*
> 
> I find it to be pretty tasteless humor, but it's definitely funny for what it is. I'm just not into throwing cuss words around in order to make something funny...it's pretty immature and misses the point of real humor, imo. I can understand why many parents would find it funny, especially because we're not supposed to have negative feelings when it comes to our kids. Umm, well, who hasn't felt frustrated when their baby or toddler keeps waking them up several times in one night?? It's natural. This book, though, didn't really make me laugh...it mostly made me feel sad, I think because even during the times when I've been the most sleep-deprived, *I wasn't ever aggravated to the point of wanting to say "go the f$*% to sleep" because it's not their fault.* To me, directing the frustration to innocent children who truly don't mean anyone harm is senseless and basically a form of objectification.


Oh, I was. I never said it to her, but I have a 18 month old that sleeps on average about 9 hours in a period of 24 (including "naps"). She has always been that way, and sometimes you just want her to go.to.bed.


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## Imakcerka (Jul 26, 2011)

Uh... I thought it often. When you're sleep deprived and your kid only sleeps 4 hours a night, you tend to go mentally ballistic! But humor is all subjective. You either think it's funny or you don't. And having listened to it being read by Samuel Jackson makes it even better. Seriously try working 12 hour rotation shifts (DH too) getting up super early to run in formation and try not to think these kind of thoughts. Half the time I'd be laughing at myself when I would think things like that. Like really is this what sleep deprivation has done to me?

DH and I listened to it the other day and wow the memories flooded back. "Remember when you found me asleep on the living room floor still in uniform with DD1 sitting on my back eating cheerios?" I mean this kid wouldn't sleep! And the Dr's all of them, said she was just fine and she was she just didn't need more at the time and didn't want to miss a thing!


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## Zan&Zav (Nov 25, 2006)

I need a sequel in my house, called "why wont you @#&ing EAT?"

I have it all wrote out in my head lol


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## Imakcerka (Jul 26, 2011)

Zan you should start writing it right now! I would totally read it! Also Flush the &^%$ing toilet! That would be good. I don't want to know what the DD's produced! Gee whiz!


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## Subhuti (Feb 18, 2005)

I work in a library and it came across my desk.

I found it funny in concept ... but it had such a dark/hostile undertone, I just wanted to get it out my hands.

I mean ... as frustrated as I am at times with my kids ... I've never felt that kind of hostility towards them.

Wanting to F-bomb your kids??

Don't get it.


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## shayinme (Jan 2, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Zan&Zav*
> 
> I need a sequel in my house, called "why wont you @#&ing EAT?"
> 
> I have it all wrote out in my head lol


Now that's the book I really need as my 6 year old has progressed from being a lousy sleeper to a lousy eater. Just last night I made one of the few meals she still eats, and of course I was met with...this chicken is different. Ugh...really I wanted to yell "why won't you eat?" LOL


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Subhuti*
> 
> I work in a library and it came across my desk.
> 
> ...


The book isn't my kind of humour, but I didn't find it particuarly hostile. Some people swear a lot, and the "F-bomb" isn't so much hostile as frustrated. I use it a lot (not at my kids, admittedly) and it's almost always sheer frustration and has nothing to do with hostility at all.


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## Imakcerka (Jul 26, 2011)

Yeah it's not really meant to promote abusive words. More to express how "some" parents feel periodically.
Here are my gripes

Why can't you stay dressed
Why can't you flush the toilet
Why won't you brush your teeth
Why do you keep biting your sisters butt... seriously... big issue
Why do you fight showers

We get frustrated and we all have different types of humor.


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## Thursday Girl (Mar 26, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Imakcerka*
> 
> Zan you should start writing it right now! I would totally read it! Also Flush the &^%$ing toilet! That would be good. I don't want to know what the DD's produced! Gee whiz!


haha that's the one I need!! I finally got my 8 year old to flush her poo for I think the first time today, but she dropped her poopy toilet paper on the seat and it stuck. UGGH

as for the f-word, to me it's not that big of a deal, I thought the book was funny but it did get to be a bit too much as you got further into it. my 8 year old heard us playing it and it didn't bother me and it didn't bother her, Heck I think she has probably thought the same thing a few times when her little sister first moved into her room.


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## youngspiritmom (Mar 5, 2010)

I get that it's a joke, and I totally get just wanting your kid to SLEEP already! But I don't find it funny at all - I agree that something about violent language associated with a child is unsettling. I agree about the last lines in the article that many parents actually express this language and rage to their kids.


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## Adaline'sMama (Apr 16, 2010)

I'm sorry, but I just dont find a word to be "violent". Its a word. In this situation is it primarly used to excentuate that you really want the child to go to sleep. Its the same thing as saying "Go really really quickly, right now, immediately, without pause to sleep. NOW. because Im tired of dealing with you being fussy and whiny when I know that you are sleepy and you need to go to bed." The F word is much shorter than that. Obviously, I dont think you should tell you child to go the F to sleep, but its a book written for adults, with an adult sense of humor. And I really dont find what people consider to be cuss words "violent". A word in and of itself is not violent, its how you use it, and in this case I dont think its violent.


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

Eh, I get what Youngspiritmom is saying. If someone told me 'f*** you!', depending on who it was, it would feel like a slap in the face. Or to widen the example, if my daughter or husband called me a 'bitch', I'd feel like I'd been hit.

Quote:


> its how you use it, and in this case I dont think its violent.


I agree, context matters. I don't think this picture book would have succeeded at all if it was written from the point of view of an uninvolved, unloving, hostile adult just cussing up a blue streak at a child.


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## Imakcerka (Jul 26, 2011)

Giving words power is dangerous.


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## Mama2ChicknLil (Feb 14, 2011)

I'm a new mom...just five weeks in. I've been known to read this book to my son in a calm relaxing voice at 3 am as I try to nurse him back to sleep. For the time being, while he doesn't understand the specific words, but more the feel of the words, it actually makes me feel better and helps, me find some humor in what otherwise is a stressful situation. Granted, I don't expect I will be reading this to him for too much longer, but in the meantime it gives dh and I a giggle while we suppress the urge to give our son up for adoption...kidding, of course.

I remember my mom once told me " you can tell a baby you are going to dismember him as long as you do it sweetly with a smile on your face, and they will just smile and coo"
Odd thing to say, but now I get it...


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

Lol! My dh likes to tell the dog, 'Whose the naughty dog? You're such a bad dog! Yes, you're just a bad, bad doggy," in a happy, praising voice. Cracks the kids up.


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## StevensMommy (Aug 22, 2011)

Funny thing, the night after I had heard about this book, I was having a really BAD night with my (then) two month old. I had the punchline going through my head when my mom saw what was going on and said "you know, I was at work today and saw this book I think you need to read." My mother works at the library, so I figured she had found me another book on Zen parenting. Lo and behold, she had downloaded Go the F*** to Sleep on her laptop. And while I love my son dearly, the combination of him going to sleep and then reading that book just made my night.


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## RStelle (Jul 12, 2011)

When DD was only sleeping 2-3 hours a night and we were going crazy from sleep deprivation I woke up once to DD crying and DP singing soothingly, "baby, you are driving me crazy, shut the [email protected]#k up Baby, before I bring you back and get a baby that sleeps, just shut the [email protected]#k up", I started laughing so hard, because I had thought the same thing so many times on sleep deprived nights. Sometimes having a sense of humor really helps!

This book is clearly not for kids, it's for parents, and I think it is more making fun of parents than kids. Of course we didn't think it was DD's fault that she couldn't sleep, the poor baby had colic. The joke is about our sleep-deprived craziness and that frustration that most parents feel at some point or other.


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## StevensMommy (Aug 22, 2011)

I don't care who you are, sleep depravation makes you think some pretty rash thoughts. We all love our little angels, and would never trade them for the world... but there has to be at least one night since their birth that we think something very derogatory or something along the lines of "now where was his receipt?!"


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

Differences in preference for swearing I think accounts for differences in perception of the tone of this book.

Quote:


> We all love our little angels, and would never trade them for the world...


True. However there was that moment when our first born was 3 days old and dh and I looked at each other and we agreed, "OK this has been interesting, but isn't the hospital supposed to come get her now? Surely they didn't mean for us to keep her? She's supposed to live with responsible adults, not two kids goofing around."


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## branditopolis (Mar 14, 2011)

Quote:
Originally Posted by *RStelle* 

When DD was only sleeping 2-3 hours a night and we were going crazy from sleep deprivation *I woke up once to DD crying and DP singing soothingly, "baby, y*ou are driving me crazy, shut the [email protected]#k up Baby, before I bring you back and get a baby that sleeps, just shut the [email protected]#k up", I started laughing so hard, because I had thought the same thing so many times on sleep deprived nights. Sometimes having a sense of humor really helps!

This book is clearly not for kids, it's for parents, and I think it is more making fun of parents than kids. Of course we didn't think it was DD's fault that she couldn't sleep, the poor baby had colic. The joke is about our sleep-deprived craziness and that frustration that most parents feel at some point or other.

I had a similar song the first few weeks with DS home. It went something like, "i love you sweetheart, but if you don't go to sleep I'm dropping you off at the fire station...." It's become a running joke in my house. As long as my son doesn't speak english (or anything, as he's 12weeks old) he's just listening to the tone, so i get to vent some frustrations while he's being soothed by the sound of my voice... it's totally win-win!

Quote:
Originally Posted by *Mama2ChicknLil* 

I'm a new mom...just five weeks in. I've been known to read this book to my son in a calm relaxing voice at 3 am as I try to nurse him back to sleep. For the time being, while he doesn't understand the specific words, but more the feel of the words, it actually makes me feel better and helps, me find some humor in what otherwise is a stressful situation. Granted, I don't expect I will be reading this to him for too much longer, but in the meantime it gives dh and I a giggle while we suppress the urge to give our son up for adoption...kidding, of course.


> I remember my mom once told me " you can tell a baby you are going to dismember him as long as you do it sweetly with a smile on your face, and they will just smile and coo"
> Odd thing to say, but now I get it...


 It's totally true! I once told DS I was going to go buy a gallon of milk and never come back but the playful tone made him giggle. It made my frustration seem silly to me to actually say something, and even sillier that he would laugh. And how can I stay frustrated with a sweet, giggling baby like that? heheh.


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## Super~Single~Mama (Sep 23, 2008)

My almost 3yo DS found my copy of this book, and I won't read it to him (but I'll let him look at the pictures for now, that won't last long!). So everytime he finds it I say, "DS, thats a mommy book. It's only for mommy."

His response?

"Mommy, we can share the book. We can share it, and it can be yours AND mine. Lets share the book and read it together."

Umm....how about not?


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## seawitch (Jan 29, 2011)

Uhhhh my favorite book of all time, I think.







We've had some ROUGH nights with two bad sleepers. I could tell so many stories but I'd rather not re-live the misery.

My husband and I both swear horribly and think nothing of it. It's not like we're sociopaths or that we don't love one another just because our "family speech code" includes bad words. We're perfectly wholesome otherwise. (The music we listen to has swears in it as well quite often - as long as the music is good it's not a problem, although I won't let them listen to violent or sexually explicit music, I do have standards.) I'm perfectly socially acceptable normally, like I won't swear at a bank teller or the preschool teacher... but when we're at home yes there are a lot of swears. I'm not being mean if I swear. Yes, I have been known to say bad words in front of the kids. I don't swear AT them, at least not in anger, but yeah I have been known to use the words like "this room is incredibly f-ing dirty, we need to clean it up and make it nice, let's sing the clean up song" or something. *The kids* don't use swears, and they even know they're bad words and sometimes point it out to me, at which point I apologize and we move on, no big deal. We all also use please and thank you and good manners otherwise. They also know that they're never supposed to use them, especially in public, because people might get hurt feelings, etc. But it's really not a big deal otherwise. (And for those who want to argue that only uneducated people swear... nah... that isn't true. I've known some very educated people who swear up a storm.)

Now with that all said and done... I still say this book is awesome.


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