# My 13-month-old is exhausting me



## chipper26 (Sep 4, 2008)

I love my darling dd with all my heart, but lately it seems like parenting is getting harder instead of easier. I guess I thought it would become less intense as she got older. I think I just need to vent a little.

She needs me to play with her or be at her side almost all day. This is fine, but if I even walk away for a minute, I'm very often met with major protests. I can't cook dinner or get much of anything done... and I'm only talking the basics, here. She still doesn't want Daddy and my guess is this is a second wave of separation anxiety.

She wants everything. I know she is exploring, but she grabs at any and everything or whines for it if out of her reach. I try to redirect her, but it is exhausting to try to think of things to get her attention that are more interesting than the thing she can't have. Our house is baby proofed, but I'm talking about something she sees on a shelf out of her reach as we walk by, or my wallet, or the dog's leash. I don't want to pry the leash out of her hands, but I also do not want her sucking on it either.

She fights diaper changes at times to the point that I'm not even sure how I'm going to get her changed b/c she just won't stay laying down (I can't change a poppy diaper standing up.) I give her toys, books, etc. but it doesn't always work.

She has started to fight getting into the car seat and I work hard to find something interesting to distract her, but I know that isn't always going to work and I'm going to have to "force" her into the restraints. I hate doing that.

Please tell me this is just normal toddler behavior and that my redirection and distraction are the basic "discipline" methods. My sweet little baby seems to be moving full force into toddlerhood.

It just been so emotionally and mentally taxing lately. Sometimes I wonder if she's bored. She has a million toys but most are only good for being dumped on the floor. Should I be doing more activities with her? We read, take walks. ride her little tricycle and go on outings...but we don't do all of these things daily. She pretty much has free reign of the house to explore. Maybe when she is walking we can do more outside.

I'm not sure what I'm asking... maybe just for confirmation that this is all normal. Do I need to be doing anything more structured with her? Is it normal to feel drained by the constant demands? The fact that she is still up many times at night doesn't help my patience during the day, either.


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## Mama2Rio (Oct 25, 2008)

i'm right with you... dd is constanty in the dog food, wants to be held while i cook (she has her own cabinant to play in the kitchen, which isn't keeping her busy any more), never liked the car (except now we drive by a billboard with a dog and that keeps her happy for half the ride and i have to talk about the dog the whole way back!), since it's nice in the mornings and evenings here i let her play outside with out a diaper so i don't have to change it (plus we do some EC so it helps).

yes, i'm tired too.... i got so exhausted this past week, i was sick for 5 days and finally got better when dh took dd for 4 hrs and let me sleep, and i slept like a rock... i only get sick when i'm stressed.

normal behavior. and i don't think it's going to get easier any time soon.


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## Krisis (May 29, 2008)

Sounds exactly like my 18 month old. But if it makes you feel any better, I can see a glimpse of light at the end of the tunnel. For example, he'll happily stay in his room and read his books for a half hour by himself. This is a very recent development, and it's giving me hope that things will be better someday!


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

:
Sometimes the cats let me get things done.


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## WilderKnits (Oct 21, 2008)

This is just like my 13 mo old too! I've gotten much better at changing a poopy diaper standing up







It is frustrating and how you're feeling is completely normal. I've found having a little bit of a routine helps a lot. As far as cooking goes, my LO has a shelf of non breakables that she can pull off and "drink from" and throw around while I cook. I hold her and let her see what I'm doing a lot too, give her snacks. Have you tried her on your back in a sling? That can work sometimes too. I also have a fake wallet and phone for her that works really well, especially the phone. I try to really think about how she's feeling, and respond to that. Also when I get really annoyed I try to take a breath and do something silly. It almost always works, and makes us both feel better. "Playful Parenting" is on my reading list...
I think most Mama's feel the way you do at 13 mos, and possibly much longer.


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## ashleedio (Jan 8, 2008)

I had to double check to make sure I wasn't the one who started this thread - because that sounds EXACTLY like my 13 month old. Suddenly, she's all... willful and independent. Lol - don't know how that happened, but I keep telling myself that it's a GOOD thing and that it's a phase that will pass, just as everything does. In the meantime, I try to have things to distract her in each room - if I'm not wearing her (which is getting more challenging, as I'm due in October with a ds), I set her up with her play kitchen while I'm cooking, or a bowl and spoon to bang around. She is really into taking things in/out of another container, so I'll get a bunch of wash cloths or hand towels something and put them in a laundry basket and that will keep her entertained for a while when I'm trying to get something done. When I get really frustrated (and it's easy to do because you can only redirect so many times before the exhaustion hits), I will make a silly face and yell in a silly tone, "AAAGGGH!" She laughs, and the moment that I hear that sweet little giggle, I instantly feel better and much more calm, and I can reevaluate on what to do to remedy the situation.


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## spirit4ever (Nov 4, 2004)

I'm so right there with you!!!! lol..

It is totally exhausting, and with two older boys there is much more that she can't have, although I have thrown in the towel about some things. I let dd play in the dog water! I let her have my wallet! Basically if she is not going to get hurt she can play with it!!!!

It does get easier, but then again its just different 'issues'!!!!!


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## Violet2 (Apr 26, 2007)

It's annoyingly normal. Sorry momma. Try some fun fingerplay songs during diaper changes, that seems to help DD.

I did write up an activity about hidden surprises for toddlers when DD was around 16 months that you might find helpful.

It's a tough age because they still arent' ready for structured activities, but need so much entertaining. Definitely look into a good song cd like Wee Sing's Fingerplays cd. Once it becomes familiar, they are off on their own dancing along and you can sometimes escape.

Another thing I do/did is to place books within reach of the crib once DD was asleep for DD to 'filch' after her nap. She'll sometimes happily read away for up to 40 minutes.

V


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## just_lily (Feb 29, 2008)

Me too! My god this age is so exhausting.

My saving grace is my daycare kids. They entertain her, and she is more likely to stay in one place for a while. My kid is only a year old, and already she thinks I am boring.

We have started temper tantrums in a serious way too. This morning she screamed and flailed and generally flipped out for over an hour because it was time to take a nap.

If 2 is worse than this I am not sure if I am going to make it.


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## ZeezMom (Jan 2, 2009)

From your lips ...

I'm 32 weeks pregnant & chasing around my 17-month-old who would rather swing from light fixtures & climb the oven door than sit still for even a minute. Not. A. Minute. Tantrums during dinner when I'm trying to cook. Awesome.

Also, I share your concern about boredom. We recently converted the office/family room into one-half playroom a la Waldorf style, hoping this would give him a reason to get absorbed in something. But ... no go.

Not yet, anyway. I trust the time will come. Until then, it's just a constant one-day-at-a-time frame of mind.

I sympathize because I know how frustrating it can be when you have a child like this who isn't even walking, yet. This was DS. Maybe it gets harder, then, before it gets easier?

Thanks for posting this. I needed to hear that someone else was experiencing similar challenges. Especially today when I'm plagued w/Braxton Hicks chasing a toddler around a public pool, keeping him from taking other people's towels/food/toys, struggling to put him in/out of the car ...

Good times.


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## HolliM (Apr 15, 2008)

Wow. Thank you for this post. I could've written it exactly. I was sobbing to dh last night because of how awful it's been and I'm starting to have feelings of wanting to get away from ds constantly. I hate feeling this way. Thank you for helping me to realize it's normal for a 13 month old to act like satan.


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## LionTigerBear (Jan 13, 2006)

FWIW, getting out more often really DOES help. At least, it did for each of my boys at that stage. I would stick the child in a baby carrier or stroller and off we'd go-- and pretty soon they would be entertained just by looking around. We would walk for HOURS. We did this pretty much every day spring through fall. Why? Because it was a _great_ break for me! I got into good shape that way, too. Lol. Sadly, I had no good ideas for winter. Winter here with a toddler (with ice and snow and sub-freezing temps) is really tough.

I won't be able to do the walking thing this time with my third child-- now that I have three, it won't be the same-- but we are busy enough, now, anyway, with the boys' activities, so I am hoping that will help.


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## ZeezMom (Jan 2, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LionTigerBear* 
FWIW, getting out more often really DOES help.

I know I already responded to your thread, but I have to concur wholeheartedly with this. I literally panic when I don't have a plan for the day. Playdates, playgrounds, errands, pool, whatever.

With my DS, he operates much more smoothly when we have had a non-stop day.


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## Marnica (Oct 4, 2008)

Yup....NORMAL! My almost 16 month old is the exact same way..He is just starting to walk on his own and man am I tired!. I was just saying to DH last night how tiring it is chasing him around all the time and keeping him entertained. Just remember. This too shall pass


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## Evelynmia'smom (Mar 8, 2009)

I was going to start a thread like this about my almost one year old. I was sobbing to my mother this morning about how some days I really don't like my daughter and I hate feeling like that. I almost feel as overwhelmed now as I did when she was a colicky newborn!


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## Thing1Thing2 (Apr 30, 2008)

I agree with previous posters, but I also wanted to add that my ds (14 months) usually starts getting frustrated when I am doing something on the counter or table and he can't see what is going on.

He wants to be right in the middle of the action, watching everything I do. I usually put him in the wrap when I see that he is getting frustrated. Even if it means the dishes will take 20 minutes instead of 5!


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