# how long is too long?



## strmis (Dec 31, 2006)

hi,
i'm new to this site, but have been reading it at anytime i get a chance.

thank you so much for having these posts and sharing your experiences with everyone.

i'm 26 years old and am going thru my first pregnancy. i would technically be about 21 weeks along, but we think our baby died about 11 days ago. thursday (of last week) we checked with our MW and found no heartbeat and we think our baby checked out that morning.
i've tried everything i can think of doing to get the miscarriage moving along (acupuncture, herbs (blue cohosh, red raspberry leaf, cotton root), and makeshift reflexology) and still, no spotting, very mild uterine contractions with no cramping.
my biggest concern at this point is infection. i dont want to go to the clinic or hospital for fear that they will automatically induce me or do a d&c. also, i would also rather m/c at home because, well, this is all traumatic enough without being in a hospital.. poking and proding and such and i wanted to have a moment with my husband (our only moment) with our baby and not have her taken away from us.
how long is too long to wait for a m/c to happen? i have half a dose of cytotec just incase, but i'm not sure if half will be enough (i'm very petite, would 400mg be enough?). my WBC count was borderline high (one point above normal) as of friday, should i be worried? is the length of this pregnancy (21 weeks NOTpregnant, baby 18 weeks gestation) going to make a huge difference for the probability of infection? amount of bleeding to expect (how much should i expect)?

ps: i was told castor oil would work. is it true or just a myth? dont wanna go thru all the drama of being in the toilet and not passing my baby through...







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## mumm (May 23, 2004)

I couldn't read and not post. I'm so sorry.

Keep reading other posts to know you are not alone. I don't remember how long I waited last year (feb 06), but it seemed like forever; maybe 3 weeks from the time I found out? A total of 5 or 6 weeks from fetal death? The actual m/c was quick and easy, but I had cramping that I thought was just the beginning and took too much advil. 8 minutes later I felt the need to push, and passed everything. Then I was sick from the advil.

My m/w never checked my blood or asked for a follow up to find out if I ever even m/c. Sounds like yours is on top of things. If it is ressuring to check in with her, do so. I am glad that I was able to wait and let things happen at home.

Hang in there.


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## Nathan1097 (Nov 20, 2001)

Don't do the caster oil. I've heard it just makes you feel horrible!! Even if you do go into labor from it, you'll be on the toilet and miserable on top of it.

That said, I'm sorry you're going through this. If it weren't for your white blood cell count, I'd say just wait it out. I hear you about not wanting a medical trauma and the baby taken away soon. At the same time, you don't want this birth to turn into an emergency situation because you've developed an infection. I'd say keep an eye on your temperature and how you feel in general and call if "something doesn't seem right".


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

I'm so sorry for your loss.


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## lolalapcat (Sep 7, 2006)

I don't have any advice, I just want you to know how sorry I am that you have lost your baby, and are having to ask these questions.

Take care,

Keri


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## BethanyB (Nov 12, 2005)

I'm so sorry for your loss. I was one of the posters on the old "waiting" thread you found from last year. My m/c was much earlier, and I'm not sure what the complications are in a late loss such as yours. First off, how far is the nearest hospital? I think you can wait to m/c at home as long as you are mere minutes from an emergency room. Not trying to scare you, but you could have some substantial bleeding. I also would imagine that m/c at 20 weeks could be pretty painful. Do you have meds just in case? I understand not wanting a D&C, I didn't either, and the cytotec worked fine for me. I think as long as you are watching for any signs of infection (namely fever, chills, pain, etc) you'll probably be ok, but I would try to get more info from your MW on this. More important than anything, you want to make sure you are safe.


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## strmis (Dec 31, 2006)

thanks so much for the support. finding this website/thread is probably one of the most helpful things i've found during this time. i really appreciate it.

i'll keep you ladies posted. happy new year!


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## gretasmommy (Aug 11, 2002)

So sorry for the loss of your daughter. I would check with your MW, as really, you are going to go through labor and I am not sure about the cytotec dose for you. Also, you should be well aware of what to watch for (in addition to fever) as signs you are in trouble and seek help.

Take care.


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## HoosierDiaperinMama (Sep 23, 2003)

I'm very sorry for the loss of your baby girl. My DD was stillborn at 37 weeks. If you need to talk, feel free to PM me. This forum is a wonderful resource to have. Much peace to you.







s


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## pianojazzgirl (Apr 6, 2006)

I know I am late in replying, but I wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss.














I also wanted to make a comment about the Cytotec, though I know it's been a few days so you might have already taken it. With my first mc I was prescribed Cytotec and I did a bunch of research before taking it. Everything I read strongly suggested not using it past 8wks pg because of the risk of uterine rupture.


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## strmis (Dec 31, 2006)

thank you so much for all your advice. after all the waiting and soul searching i've done i ended up taking the cytotec last night at around 5:30pm.
it took a couple hours to kick in. i went thru intense labor for about 9 hours. at about 4am my water broke and soon after our baby came.

she is so much bigger than we thought she would be, which made it very difficult emotionally for us to take. her body was swollen from fluids that build up in her system (from a chromosomal deficiency), but she was still so well developed. 10 fingers and 10 toes. perfection.

i guess 2 weeks was too long for us to wait. knowing that we did the cbc testing, time was always on my mind, and i did not want to put my health in danger too. but i find peace in knowing that we did absolutely everything i know and everything in my power to get things moving.

the last question we have now is what to do with her body. i think i will start a new thread with a new headline for that. she's too big to just bury somewhere in public and we dont have a yard.

i really truly appreciate all your support. thanks so much!! this website was truly my best source of information to prepare me for all the intensity of labor last night that i would not have known, had i not read up on it. thank you!
our little angel's soul can rest now.


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## k9sarchik (Nov 11, 2006)

I am so sorry for your loss.


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