# Mommas with biracial/interracial children



## catherine_hogans (Sep 17, 2004)

I was just curious if there was any interest in creating a forum/subforum for mothers/fathers of biracial/interracial children (If this already exists on MDC, please clue me in!). I am white and my husband is black and we had our first child this July. I am interested in meeting other parents of kids who are multiracial...
It's funny because I have been involved on some message boards with the same topic, but ideas in parenting are quite different!? Hopefully I can find some like-minded moms to chat with...


----------



## jingwen (Jan 20, 2003)

I'd like to join!!!!!

I'm Chinese, hubby is 1/2 Jordanian, 1/2 white. Of course my ds doesn't look a thing like me. He's got olive skin and green eyes. I get the "are you the babysitter?" comment a lot! :LOL
Curious to see what #2 will look like. She's due any day now.

It's definately interesting trying to raise dc in a multiracial family. Especially when hubby and i also speak different foreign languages and trying to teach that to our kids. And of course they'res the "cultural" issues we try to incorporate...for instance Chinese New Year etc...

Anyways, glad to meet you. Hope we can chat soon.


----------



## catherine_hogans (Sep 17, 2004)

Yeah, it's the opposite for us!! Ds didn't look a thing like his dad at birth...blue eyes and VERY pale skin. Ds is now almost three months and the eyes are still blue tho he has gained a little tan. It is amazing how much his physical characteristics have transformed in such a short span of time. I look forward to the coming months. Right now, he doesn't have any hair!!
When is #2 due?? How exciting? I have talked with interracial parents who end up having one who favors mom and the other favors dad!!!

So glad you replied!


----------



## RainCoastMama (Oct 13, 2004)

*


----------



## FroNuff (Apr 3, 2003)

There was a thread here a while ago, but I'm not sure it's still active.
Found it, here it is: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...light=biracial

I'm a Black and Indian (native american) mama of two very multicultural babies. My DH is of Ukrainian and Slovak descent. We're all just Americans, though.







We've been married for almost 5 years and together for almost 12 years. Our daughters are almost 2 (birthday is tomorrow!) and 10 months.

Raising our daughters is more challenging on the general parental level than on a cultural/racial level. I suppose it's because they are so young and we don't get any questions about culture or race yet. I'm taking a "we'll cross that bridge when we come to it" attitude, which I'm not sure is good or bad. We tend to incorporate DH's culture into our lives more and I'm working on giving my culture "props".









It's nice to "meet" you guys.


----------



## melissa17s (Aug 3, 2004)

Hello, my family is also multicultural and interracial. I am white and my dh is Eurasian from Singapore. My dh's family is a mixture of Indian, Malay, Thai, Chinese, German and Dutch (who came to S'pore from England). We have looked at baby pictures on both sides of the family, and aunts and uncles on both sides have claimed various features as coming from their side of the family. My ds looks more like his father, while my dd looks alot like my mother. Both have my paler complexion and my dh's dark curly hair (and lots of it).

We have taken ds to S'pore twice, and been able to celebrate holiday's with dh's family such as bil's wedding and christmas. S'pore is a very diverse place with many rich traditions honored and acknowledged, and so travelling their was really cool. I so look forward to taking dd, too.

We live in a college town close to my family, so we have been in a small, yet diverse community with people of many different backgrounds. Although we are in the middle of a fairly homogenous state, we are still able to participate in a lot of diversity here in our community.

Like one of the other posters said, right now, we are exerting more effort and struggling with parenting two dc, and not so concerned about cultural issues right now. I looked at some of the baby picutes of the other posters, and I think they are all so cute... someday I will get my kiddies pictures online.


----------



## tricia80 (Oct 28, 2003)

Hi i was involved in the other thread.. but it did die off a bit...

im white.. my ex-dh is black.. dd isnt as white as me but looks like she has a nice tan.. her father is really dark and she has a beautiful afro... her pics are in my sig...

jus wanted to say the other pics are just adorable.


----------



## meowee (Jul 8, 2004)

That would be nice, but they won't even give SAHMs their own subforum. There's a thread about in Questions and Suggestions right now. I think if they gave interracial moms a subforum the SAHMs would riot! :LOL

My kids are half Hispanic but three out of four look white. Their dad is pretty dark so we were both surprised by how "pasty" they turned out. The ethnic looking one has been mistaken for Chinese or Indian. How silly is that!

I think interracial kids (including the ones who look white) are so cute! They have a unique look to them.

I knew a rabbi who used to joke that interracial kids end up looking better than either parent.


----------



## rastamama (Oct 16, 2004)

Hey Ladies,

I'd love to talk about raising multiracial children I'm white american and hubby is west african. Baby grace is nearly three and i wouldn't even know she was mine if i hadn't have grown her myself. shes all daddy. Shes begining to call daddy brown and mamma white and sometimes she says she's brown but mostly she says she white, this is all on her own no input form me and dad. we try to act noncholant about it and dont make a big deal just agree with her but i dont want her to get in tha habit of considering herself white because well she isn't. I want her to cherish both of her races.
any input on how others have approached this would be great


----------



## Modesto Doula (Dec 2, 2001)

Hi mamas!
I am white (light skinned and blue eyed), DH is Korean. I think its made for a pretty good mix in our kiddos. DD has asian-y eyes and a darker skin tone than myself, DS has very "white" eyes with just a little ethnic hint and is white skinned. So far, the 4 mo old looks almost exactly like his his sis. They are all brown eyed and haired...
The funny thing is that my DD looks just like my baby pictures, except for her eyes and skin tone, she could be me- my facial shape, nose, mouth, cheeks. And I was born with BLACK hair- blacker than hers! When she was a baby I was asked several times if she was adopted...
When DS came along the adoption questions stopped. I think he is a kind of visual link for people. I guess they figure he looks like me, and he kinda looks like kimber, so we must all be together, LOL...
DS2 is only 4 mo, but looks almost exactly like DD, even wieghs in like she did. I cant wait to watch them grow.

I always thought mixed race children were the most gorgeous and grew into the most beautiful adults. I guess I never stopped to think some of them would be mine...

And a funny story- I didnt even think about having mixed race babies until I was about 8 mo preg. I was reading some fluff mag front to back and went through an article where I was thinking, "I should skip this- doesnt appy to me" when i realized that it did very much- the article was about raising multicultural children... Thats when I realized my kiddos wouldnt be blond or blue eyed like the rest of my family LOL

Here they are... http://www.family.mother-birth.com/ <-- fixed finally


----------



## splendid (Jul 18, 2004)

Hi-

I'm Marie. I am originally from Canada (my mom is Jamaican) and my dh is from small town NY. My son got my dh's curly hair and light features. He got my stubborness.









We love being a mulitcultural family, the only time I feel like all eyes are on us (we live in a very multicultural community) is when we return to my dh's small town in NY. Everyone is watching.

Hey Brook, the link to your site didn't work, but when I got to your homepage I say your family pics. You have such a beautiful family.


----------



## Modesto Doula (Dec 2, 2001)

Marie,
Its funny, cause the only time I really "feel" the multicultural family thing is when we are visiting NY. Besides the whole east coast- west coast culture clash, we stay in a VERY asian neighborhood. As in, Im the only non-asian on the street most of the time, LOL... Its kinda weird. Last time we went I took the kiddos out walking around the hotel quite a bit and I was surprised by openly hostile looks that I got from more than a few oldtimers there...
My inlaws are obviously korean, but other than the food, they seem to make a special effort to be sure that I dont ever feel weirded out or left out of traditions- unlike my husband, who often forgets he should explain some things to me...
I fixed the link above, the pics there are from a few months ago... (it actually goes to a different site than the ones you already saw)


----------



## Nabbe (Sep 27, 2004)

My children from my first marriage are half white, half arabs. Their father is Algerian, and i am Norwegian. We are now divorced, and i am married to a Norwegian man now. But my kids are still biracial. They are not so dark as many half-arabs, they are dark blonde and have blue eyes, for some weird reason hehe... But then again, i think its n me, because my brother is half latino, and has blue eyes and brown hair hehe...


----------



## huggerwocky (Jun 21, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *meowee*

I knew a rabbi who used to joke that interracial kids end up looking better than either parent.

yeah, my grandma says that,too she can't wait till we have children

I am german and my husband indian


----------



## allisonrose (Oct 22, 2004)

Well I'm not a mommy yet (although I seem to have caught the baby bug!) but my hubby is Mexican (raised in America) while I'm white. I can't wait to see how our children turn out!
We lived in Hawaii for a while and everyone there considered interracial children to be very beautiful.
Living there was also an interesting experience like what Modesto Doula experienced in NY - it was unusual to walk into a classroom at University of Hawaii and realize I was the minority there.
We plan on raising our children with appreciation of all their heritage including teaching them both English and Spanish from birth. Alot of the other details are up in the air.


----------



## splendid (Jul 18, 2004)

Brooke it still doesn't work.









I think the next time I go to Dh's town I am going to wear my "Take a picture it lasts longer shirt". I've gotten into the habit of staring right back (which is hard for me since I was raised not to make eye contact since it means you are being confrontational).

I have been reading my son a lot of bi-cultural books lately and he seems to be enjoying them.


----------



## veganbaby (Oct 28, 2004)

I'm Vietnamese and my husband is white. It's hard to say who Desi looks like now. People say she looks like me.


----------



## MamaTaraX (Oct 5, 2004)

Since I can't figure out how to navigate this site yet







, I have no opinion about adding another forum. Maybe someday I'll get the hang of this place (and maybe someday it'll load faster for me??)

I am black, white, hispanic, and indian (american indian). My DH is white (of german and something else decent, blue eyes and dark hair). Our kids are "eclectic" in looks. Our firstborn son has more tan than his daddy, way less than me, deep brown eyes and brown hair. People often think he's Chinese or Indian because of his almond-shaped eyes (which I have). Our secondborn son is my color tan with brown hair and blue almond-shaped eyes. They are absolutely beautiful children. I've always thought that mixed race children always come out so beautifully, and I'm not just saying that because of my own personal bias.
People think I am my kids big sister or babysitter, but that's because I only look 17


----------



## Mommay (Jul 29, 2004)

Hi all. I am Korean american and dh is "just white" (German and Irish), as he calls himself. I've read a few posts of people who gets mistaken for the nanny, and I too have a baby that does not look like me. Well, I think he does have my features, but he also has pale skin, red hair and blue eyes which people don't expect a son of mine would have. How do you all explain that? I studied biology for a number of years, and asians have dominant dark eyes and hair, so that should be what is expressed, right? Anyway, I think bi-racial children are beautiful as well. Biologically, bi-racial kids get the best of both worlds as well. The more different the genetic pool of the parents, the less likely recessive diseases and such will be exhibited. I usually don't even think about the race issue, but I know ds will face that question when he starts to think about his identity.


----------



## FroNuff (Apr 3, 2003)

Mamas, do you ever get sick of the same old weirdo comments? Last night, I was over my aunt's house with my girls and was asked if I thought DD2's hair would turn out the same as DD1. It seems like a harmless question, but I really don't give a crap about how their hair is, but other people seem obsessed! My grandmother will touch DD1's hair and say almost wistfully, "Oh, I could just trade my hair for yours..."







It's hair, get over it!

Now, maybe because hair is such an issue in the black community, and my daughters have so-called "good hair", this is why my family comments so much on this. I have to admit that I did wonder what hair type my daughters would have before they were born, but having them has done wonders to change my view on this good hair/bad hair thing.

Anyone else deal with this sort of thing?


----------



## FroNuff (Apr 3, 2003)

Totally forgot to say...

Goepark, I'm in your neck of the woods! I live a little bit north of you, in Linden.


----------



## RainCoastMama (Oct 13, 2004)

*


----------



## Mommay (Jul 29, 2004)

Yeah, hey Tia. I saw you on the central nj tribe forum. It'd be great for some of us to meet. And now we have yet another thing in common. Fridays are great for me. So let me know.

I don't get that much comments about the eyes, but maybe because ds has red hair. That always draws comments. Other asians are usually very accepting of ds and frequently assume he's mine, which is not always the case.


----------



## meco (Mar 1, 2004)

I am late, but I wanted to chime in









I am a classic American, caucasian mutt







and my SO is 1/2 Cuban and 1/2 Chinese. Great mix too :LOL

So DS is 1/4 each and 1/2 me









I always have kids ask me where his mommy is or who I am. :LOL I never get the sitter question, but I guess that is assumed w/the others. He is dark hair and deep, dark eyes, darker skin, tans wonderfully. I have blonde hair and blue eyes (my entire family has blues eyes!), fair skin.

We do not look alike really, but so far we laugh it off. I did post a thread awhile back because people ALWAYS ask me "What is he?" or "Where is he from?" And I was starting to get annoyed, but I guess now I am used to it.

We speak Spanish, Chinese and English to our son so we have a multilingual household as well. We celebrate all the holidays (Chinese New Year is SO's favorite and even asked my sister not to have her 2005 wedding so that it would interfere with Chinese New Year in NYC--a real spectacle!).


----------



## veganbaby (Oct 28, 2004)

I get the same comments about her eyes too.
I would like to speak Vietnamese to her, but unfortunately I lost the language. I can understand it, but not speak it. My parents were too busy working to talk to us when we were younger. It's hard when you immigrant to a country..you have to start from the bottom.


----------



## Divina (Sep 13, 2003)

I'm half Filipina, half white, my older kids' dad is from Scotland but of English and Scandinavian origin ... my younger kids' dad is euro-white, but not sure of the mix because of a number of adoptions in his family ... I call my kids Hitler's Nightmare! My mom's family is mostly Asian, with a good bit of Spanish and some Polynesian thrown in ...

My daughter and my youngest son are both dark--tan skin and black or brown-black eyes. My teenage son and 3 yr old have very fair skin, hazel eyes (one of Rowan's eyes is half blue) and medium brown hair with some red in it. Genetics is just weird. My daughter, who has Asian coloring, but is taller and, um, more voluptuous than most Asian women, gets a lot of "what are you?" questions, as do I. My white boys just don't get questioned. It's interesting. Morwynne and I identify as "non-white" or "mixed". Jamie id's as white. Too soon to say for the younger boys. DP is a little tiny bit defensive about being a white boy ... I try not to tease him, and he dances much better than most!


----------



## momof2tadpoles0104 (Sep 26, 2004)

we belong here, my boys fathers(yes i said father's) are both from Africa so tru "black" people lol. My oldest is tan but gets way dark in the summer, my youngest is alot darker than me and moderelty darker than his brother. check out my sig and see for yourself lol.
The only time i really "think" about it is when i get stared at and cant figure out why and then it dawns on me that they are trying to figure out if they are mine or not :LOL like i said they are both alot darker than me!!
Having said that i love having biracial children i think biracial kids are 1000% cuter than others (but hey maybe im just biased :LOL )
ETA both my boys have diffrent hair types, my oldest has the more course curly dark hair native to black people, my youngest has more "white" hair thats fine but is REALLY curly after a bath lol. And yes i constatly get told that people wish they had "his" hair


----------



## catherine_hogans (Sep 17, 2004)

I have the opposite issue...rather than the nanny thing, we have had comments like, "ds must be the mailman's baby!!" (ds is as white as me, while dh is black). Avery looks everything like me and as of late, his eye shape may look a little like papa's but they are still blue.
Anyhoo...the joke was...ds can't be the mailman's baby...our mailman is black too!!








I started a website for ds...check it out in my signature...baby peanut.

Many blessings to all the beautiful babes and their courageous and loving parents!!!


----------



## FroNuff (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *catherine_hogans*
I have the opposite issue...rather than the nanny thing, we have had comments like, "ds must be the mailman's baby!!" (ds is as white as me, while dh is black). Avery looks everything like me and as of late, his eye shape may look a little like papa's but they are still blue.

A friend of mine, who is white with a black husband, has a son who used to look pretty white when he was a little baby. One day when she was in church and her DH was not around, an older woman next to them asked her if she had been raped!







Apparently, the woman thought her son looked too white and couldn't possibly have a black father. My friend took it really well and didn't say much back to the woman, but I was in shock when she told me this. People can be so rude.


----------



## FroNuff (Apr 3, 2003)

Ok, I hesitate to post this, but it was on my mind a lot of the day yesterday. I don't mean to offend anyone by this, but I'm wondering if I am alone in my thinking (and therefore certifiably







).

It gets my goat when people tell me mixed babies are cuter, and I'm trying to figure out why. Don't get me wrong, I think my daughters are beautiful, but not because they have a varied ethnic background. When I was pregnant, I didn't automatically assume I'd have "beautiful mixed kids", but I did wonder what they would look like maybe a bit more than the average mama-of-a-single-race baby would wonder.

This is hard to explain, but I *know* that my girls will get a different type of attention - both good and bad - because of people's natural curiosity about race/ethnicity, and I just don't want them building themselves up about looks and appearances. I want my girls to beautify their personalities from the inside out, so that race makes _less_ of a difference. It's early, so this probably isn't making much sense, but does anyone get what I'm saying?

Just want to share this story... DH and I were on a road trip through some Southern states and we had stopped for breakfast somewhere in Virginia, I believe. We were getting the usual amount of stares which I attributed to the area where we had stopped, but the hostess was staring with such...gosh, enthusiasm?...that it started to get annoying. When we went to pay our check, that same hostess rang us up and out of the blue says, "Have you guys ever thought of having children?" My guard went up because frankly I thought it was rude to ask such a question of strangers without any previous conversation. I mumbled something, to which she said, "You know, you should think about having kids because mixed kids are the best and the most beautiful. I should know I have one." And she whipped out a picture. Now, I guess she was trying to bond, and I must be a b*tch, because I was totally turned off and offended. Sure, we'll go home right now and have some kids just for beauty's sake.


----------



## cocopuffmami (Nov 15, 2004)

There is definitely a major problem these days with biracial children being made out to be 'designer babies'. I do not know how many times I have had a teen come up to me and say something along the lines of them wanting a black and white baby, because they are the cutest. I guess I am suppose to take that as a compliment, but really it just scares me. I think of some children growing up confused, because they were born to a parent mentally unprepared for what having a child of another race requires. I think as a white mother of a minority child I am responsible to educate myself. After the ooohs and ahhs of my child's beauty wears off there is still a life there that I am responsible for.

www.thecolorofus.ipbhost.com


----------



## cappuccinosmom (Dec 28, 2003)

I'm white American and dh is Ethiopian. He's from the south, so he's a little darker than the predominant cultural group, but a gorgeous, chocolate color. Yummm!









Our son is lovely. He definately got the best of both of us, and so looks better than both of us.







He has his daddy's almond-shaped eyes (dark, dark brown), light brown skin, lovely dark brown hair that is somewhere in between my wavy hair and dh's tight curls. His face is shaped more like mine. I don't know. There is something about the combination that makes strangers stop to admire him.







He could pass for a native Ethiopian from the northern parts, and I've noticed he looks quite a bit like children from Egyptian background. Figure that.








Haven't had any wierd or nasty comments yet (except my grandmother, who's a bit of a racist and doesn't like anything we do, including the names we pick for our kids







: ). But lots and lots of very nice, complimentary comments. Our new church has a huge number of mixed families and it's great not to feel like an oddball so much.


----------



## veganbaby (Oct 28, 2004)

I've heard that about inter-racial babies too. Of course I think Desmina is beautiful because I'm biased


----------



## wendy1221 (Feb 9, 2004)

Well, my older ds is 1/4 filipino. And he looks very white. He has dark brown hair (most people say black, but it's really dark brown. His dad had black Asian hair). His eyes are slightly almond shaped, but not all that noticably (although, we get comments EVERYWHERE about how beautiful he is, especially his eyes, which are big and blue with the thickest blackest lashes I've ever seen). His skin is much darker than mine, but still in the range considered "white" and he has my little freckles. I'm just really really white. His dad was very immature and things ended very badly when ds was just a few months old. He moved pretty far away. Ds has not seen his biological father since a few months after we broke up (I made the effort and took the 4 hour drive for ds to see his dad. He was not happy and made no effort to contact us since then.) Anyway, nobody seemed to notice ds was different in our family (I'm married now to dh, Marc) until ds#2 was born. Before ds#2 came along people would actually say how ds#1 looked so much like his dad (meaning dh). I thought it was funny, but didn't correct people. Dh is as pale white as me and also has blue eyes, but his hair is pretty dark. But now that ds#2 has come along, people comment all the time how little they look alike and then comment that he doesn't really look all that much like either of his parents. And then look at me as if expecting an explanation. OK, my 2 ds's don't look anything alike except their eyes are the exact same shade of blue (different shapes, though). Ds #2 is whiter than white and blond. BUT *I* think ds#1 looks exactly like me, only masculine and darker. To be more exact, he looks exactly like my dad, only darker and prettier. LOL!

For a while there, I was explaining to everyone who did this about how they had different dads and ds1's dad was 1/2 filipino. Then I got tired of it. Plus ds started saying he wanted to see his old dad and he missed him, etc (I've never tried to hide this from him. I've shown him pictures and explained things to him). And that hurt, and I don't know how to tell him that his "old" dad just isn't interested in seeing him. So I just started telling people he looks like his grandfather. Which is true. Anybody else gone through anything like this? Any advice.

Also, I'd like ds to know SOMETHING about his filipino heritage. But I have no idea how to go about it. His dad wouldn't even admit he was filipino (he liked to tell people he was Spanish, like from Spain. ???? He had issues), so I really don't know much about anything. And ds looks white. So I feel kinda funny about going up to Filipino people and saying, hey, my son is part filipino, can we hang out and learn all about your stuff? I'm just not sure how to do it.


----------



## AugustLia23 (Mar 18, 2004)

Well, I am 1/2 Jamaican Black and 1/2 white american mutt(irish, english, welsh, etc.) and DS is 1/4 black and 3/4 white, but he looks 100% white, his black doesn't show at all. He is super cute though









I love that as a biracial person I will be able to teach my kids how to just be happy with being bi/multi-racial, and not try to deny any parts of themselves.

I love seeing all the pics of the cute biracial babies!


----------



## MotherEarthMom (Oct 21, 2004)

My husband is Puerto Rican and I'm Native american and white.We have a 5 yr old daughter Cheyenne.So guess I belong here too,we have been together for 7 yrs and hope to have one more child.I guess we also belong in a older woman younger man thread too,he's 27 and I'm 41.


----------



## heldt123 (Aug 5, 2004)

Hi guys! I would be interested in this topic. I am a "mut" white, and my husband is Navajo, Apache, Hispanic, and German. Our little guy looks a lot like Mommy and hasn't picked up any of the other ethnic characteristics. I would like to be proud of his different racial heritages, but not sure how to go about doing it. We live in a prodominantly white area and anyone who is "different" is noticed very easily. I am also concerned about how he will feel growing up looking "different" than Daddy.


----------



## homemademomma (Apr 1, 2004)

"wendy1221 Well, my older ds is 1/4 filipino. And he looks very white. and made no effort to contact us since then.) Anyway, nobody seemed to notice ds was different in our family (I'm married now to dh, Marc) until ds#2 was born. Before ds#2 came along people would actually say how ds#1 looked so much like his dad (meaning dh). I thought it was funny, but didn't correct people. "

wow- i could have (almost) written your whole post. my son is 1/2 polynesian, but his biodad (sperm donor lol) was out of the picture a few weeks after i got pregnant. my son looks very "white"-12 but he has slightly dark skin, dark brown eyes, and brown hair. everyone always says he looks like dh







i love it!

anyway, i too am stuck about what to tell ds about his biodad, whom he has never met.i have no idea where he is, and i like it that way, but i wonder what i should be telling ds?


----------



## happyhippiemama (Apr 1, 2004)

My Lil Miss is French Irish Swedish German (all from me) and Black and Hispanic (from her SD). I'm stuck in Iowa and surrounded by white folks like my family







and am concerned about introducing DD to the other parts of her heritage. *sigh* just one more thing to worry about as a single mom.

crystal


----------



## freegirl23cat (Jan 25, 2004)

so interesting to skim this thread...i had just searched "bi-racial" children b/c i've been starting to think that i really need to connect with other parents...my dd is only 5 months and i've already been way SHOCKED at the amount of attention paid to her "racial" features...one thing i've noticed is that my family (white) and other caucasian people/strangers always comment about the color of her skin (oh it's like butterscotch, she's got such a pretty complexion, she looks like she has a tan) and my ex's family and other black folks usually comment about her hair (oh shel'll have good hair, you'll be able to do so much with her hair)...

i also feel like people touch my daughter more than they do other babies of friends of mine...

anyway, i'd love to keep reading about how others deal with the multiple issues surrounding raising multi-racial children


----------



## Calidris (Apr 17, 2004)

Hi everyone, I wanted to chime in. I'm half white (German) and half East Indian (from Trinidad, which has had an Indian population for about 150 years) here I'm considered white, because I'm pretty fair, but in the US, I'm generally taken for Hispanic (to the point that people in a store in Miami once got annoyed at me that I couldn't speak Spanish, thought I was being pretentious or something







). DP is very mixed (East Indian, African descent, south European, and some Amerindian) so dd is mixed beyond count.
I happen to also think that mixed babies are the cutest (but of course I'm biased







), but I think that it is the unusualness of the features that tends to make mixed people look interesting and thus attractive. I had a friend who used to refer jokingly to hybrid vigour (a biological concept, used a lot in botany).
There are far fewer issues of racism here because there are 2 approximately equal sized dominant racial groups and an ever growing mixed population. But the "good hair/bad hair" discussions are common of course.


----------



## Ms. Frizzle (Jan 9, 2004)

I think I found a tribe for me. I'm french Canadian and Dh is Vietnamese. We have 2 boys!
We have encountered racism a few times, and I was alone with my children both times


----------



## shaywyn (Jul 3, 2004)

I intro'd myself on another thread on this topic several months ago







I am caucasion of Welsh/Irish and assorted ancestry (rumored to be some Native American in there too







. My dh is African American of unknown origin, although his dream is to one day have enough time and energy to research his family tree.

We have two lovely dd's ages 6yrs and 14 months, who seem to draw in all the usual stereotypical remarks of how pretty mixed kids are from both sides of the color fence. I think people are curious and just don't know what to say, so that's how they open the subject. And, of course, my own children are so spectactularly gorgeous, how can they help themselves!







:LOL

I also have two Beautiful stepchildren, dss age 10 and sdd age 12. They are not biracial, so our family is truly a beautiful mix of coordinating colors, dark, light, and in between









We've been married for almost 8 yrs and live in Southeast Michigan, we are also unschoolers, family bed proponets, extended breastfeeding advocates, organic gardeners, etc. So, we get lots of blank stares on our lives, not just because of our interracial family







But, I do have to say, where we live, biracial children are everywhere, it's a very mixed area, we are in a suburb of Detroit. I feel for some who are more isolated and may get more unwanted attention than we do. Hugs!

Nice to meet everyone and I, for one, would love to be involved on a regular basis in a forum for "us"

As the OP stated, there are lots of groups for parents/moms like us, but some are not very active and many don't understand some of our philosphies on parenting, although they may try


----------



## KathinJapan (Mar 25, 2003)

So happy to have stumbled across this thead. I am a white American living in Japan married to a wonderful Japanese man. We have a beautiful daughter, Maya.

Here when we are out together everybody assumes I am the mom, even though babe looks very much like her daddy. When I took her to the states I was shocked at how many people thought she was adopted. The oddest one was while I was BFing her! LOL.

I am reading a great book called
*Does anybody look like me?* Strategies for parents of multiracial parents.
It is great because it talks about different situations that might come up and suggestions for how to deal with them. It breaks things up in ages groups, what a 3 year old understands about race etc.. and comments he or she might get from peers. I highly recommend this book!

One of my struggles is that her *white* features are praised so highly. I hear comments about how white her skin is and how pretty her hair is etc... All of her features are beautiful.

Warmly,
Kathryn
p.s. I loved all the photos you can check us out on the homepage http://members.aol.com/kathaka59/maya.html


----------



## prophetmother (May 27, 2004)

There are alot of us around here! Just peeking my head in to say HI!!!!


----------



## shaywyn (Jul 3, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KathinJapan*

I am reading a great book called
*Does anybody look like me?* Strategies for parents of multiracial parents.
It is great because it talks about different situations that might come up and suggestions for how to deal with them. It breaks things up in ages groups, what a 3 year old understands about race etc.. and comments he or she might get from peers. I highly recommend this book!

*One of my struggles is that her *white* features are praised so highly. I hear comments about how white her skin is and how pretty her hair is etc... All of her features are beautiful.*

You are not alone in those insensitive comments. I have had comments from both sides of the color fence since dd#1 was born, less since dd#2. It was pointed out how light her skin was, she looked white, how straight her hair was, etc. What is amazing and quite sad, is that _both races_ seemed to be consciously or unconsciously implying that the more "white" her features were, the better. Ugh! She is now a lovely shade of brown with super, super curly hair, and her facial features proudly proclaim her heritage! She is the most beautiful creature I have ever seen, at least until her sister came along and evened up the score, LOL!









Thanks for the book recommendation, I just placed it on hold at our library, looks like a very good read


----------



## fabienne (Jan 4, 2005)

I would love a forum dedicated to this topic! I am Haitian with African and German Jewish roots. My husband is Scots/Irish and from the U.S. We are expecting a boy on June 4th! Thanks to Kathryn for the book suggestion. Will definitely check it out. I have been "collecting" book titles for bi/multi-racial and/or black children, and about raising bi/multi-racial children, ever since I knew my husband was "the one." I'd love to hear about books others have found (I'm listing my finds below). Also, anyone else trying to raise a French-English bilingual child?

Books I've found/heard about--this is a hodgepodge of fiction & nonfiction:

-Rain is not my Indian name--Cynthia Leitich Smith
-Tomorrow's children--F. Wardle
-A race is a good thing to have--Janet Helms
-Respecting our differences--Lynn Duvall
-The color of water--James McBride
-Raising the rainbow generation--Hopson & Hopson
-Different and wonderful--Hopson & Hopson
-Black, white, other--Lise Funderberg
-Powerful black women--Jessie Carney Smith
-Less than half, more than whole--Lacapa & Lacapa
-A woman alone--Bessie Head
-Woman of color, daughter of privilege--A. Dickson
-Something terrible happened--B. Porte
-Black is brown is tan--Arnold Adoff
-All the colors we are--Katie Kissinger
-Dim sum, bagels, & grits--Myra Alperson
-Black, white, just right--Marguerite Davol
-I'm chocolate, you're vanilla--Marguerite Wright
-Everyday acts against racism: Raising children in a multiracial world--Maureen T. Reedy

So glad you're all here!


----------



## ZelenyOko (Jan 10, 2005)

I too am part of this tribe! While not yet a mommy, we are expecting our first on July 24, 2005 - I can't wait!!!! My DH's heritage is Chinese and mine is Czech, Irish and German (Euro-Mutt). He has black hair and dark brown eyes and I have light brown hair (naturally) and pale green eyes and I am so looking forward to seeing what our baby looks like. While ultimately I know it doesn't matter, I think it would be really neat if he/she had green or hazel eyes.

I am pretty sure that a lot of people will assume that I am the adoptive mother if my husband is not with us, and I'm not sure how I will take that. I try to be very tolerant, but I just don't know. Does anyone have any advice?


----------



## Mother2Amaya (Jun 4, 2004)

me! I am American Indian/Caucasian, dh is AA. Our daughter is triracial.


----------



## ondi4 (Feb 1, 2005)

For those of you asking, I do have a group for moms that have biracial kids.







If you would like to join I would love to have ya join. Email me at [email protected]m and I will send ya my link and and invite. Its a free site for moms only.


----------



## StillForest (Nov 27, 2001)

Great to see this thread! DH is Taiwanese and I'm an English/German/Scottish mutt. Ditto on the insensitive comments. My favorite: How long did you have to wait for her? Uhhhh, the usual 9 months.... We're raising DD bilingual and she has lots of contact with her non-English speaking Chinese grandparents. I also have a 13-year-old DSD who lives with us half the year (also Hapa). She's experienced a lot of racism while living with her white mom in the Southwest.


----------



## Lucky (Nov 14, 2004)

I'm glad to have found this thread.









Dc are All-American mutts. Most people assume they are caucasian. Their skin is lighter in the winter, but in the summer it's a golden bronze...people pay to have their beautiful tan.







They also have brown hair and dark brown eyes.

I was raised as a Mexican American,(I'm 1/2 Mexican & Cherokee/Irish/German.) Where I live now, there is not much of a Mexican community. Dc learn about the Mexican culture through food, language, and music.

Ds1 is just getting to the age that he is interested in different heritages. He likes to share with others that his grandmother is Mexican and his grandfather is Cherokee. I think it's difficult for people to see ds' ethnicity, when they know dh, (a blue-eyed German w/a little Cherokee.)


----------



## wholegrainmama (Jun 18, 2004)

Hi mamas! May I join the tribe? I am a mama of 2 beautiful biracial children; I am white and my dh is african american. We've been together for 12 years, and our dc are 10 and 8.


----------



## kalynnsmom (Dec 3, 2004)

Hey guys! I'm Celeste, I'm Hispanic and DH is white. We have a two year old little girl


----------



## ondi4 (Feb 1, 2005)

For those of you asking, I do have a group for moms that have biracial kids. If you would like to join I would love to have ya join. Email me at [email protected] and I will send ya my link and and invite. Its a free site for moms only.

Adoptive moms, natural moms, foster moms, anybody raising biracial kids.


----------



## Secret Star (Feb 10, 2005)

So glad to find this thread!! My dds are Mexican/Apache/Spanish/French/Irish/English/German/Hungarian...everyone says they "look white". The both have fair skin, huge brown eyes & brown hair.


----------



## ondi4 (Feb 1, 2005)

Group for moms of biracial kids http://groups.msn.com/BiracialKidosandmoms


----------



## prophetmother (May 27, 2004)

We are a very diverse group here, from many different places all over the world and living in the US and abroad. I'm curious about what you are asked to put on your dc's birth certificates regarding race/ethnicity.

I had to fill out a form the other day for dd's birth certificate, and the main part didn't ask for her race, just names, address, & dob. Below, in the section marked for "confidential info for medical and public health use," it asked for things such as my and my dh's occupation and our race. I don't know what that information is used for, but we are leaving it blank.

Anyway, I was just curious about what other states/countries want to know about our children's races...


----------



## happyhippiemama (Apr 1, 2004)

Joining in!! DD (18 months) is triracial. I'm a eurowhite mutt: french and irish on my dad's side, german and swiss on my mom's. DD's biological father is half AA and half MA. His mother is very involved in the MA culture.

DD actually looks more hispanic than AA, with just a tiny bit of nappiness in her hair right at the back of her head. She, of course, is amazingly beautiful - which she would be regardless of whom I had sex with and what race they were.


----------



## FroNuff (Apr 3, 2003)

Tori,
As far as I know, I've never filled out anything (yet) that has asked for my children's race/ethnicity. Their birth certificates asked what DH and my races (and I think occupation, but I can't remember) are, and I filled them out. I'm in Jersey, btw.

I think once kids start school that the questions for race start coming up. I distinctly remember filling out some type of card when I was in the 1st grade that asked me what languages were spoken in my home, and what race I was. I am sure the school systems ask these things when enrolling a child because I just got a flyer from my town that breaks down enrollment by race.














:

Homeschooling is something we are thinking of doing, so I may not have to deal with the silly questions on those forms, but if I have to, I probably will not complete that section. Or fill it in with EVERY ethnic group that they represent.


----------



## meco (Mar 1, 2004)

I have similar experiences as Mom2.

I know my son's papa struggles when only allowed to pick one. He is equal part s Chinese and Cuban. He idenified strongly with them. And many of our rituals, traditions and ways of life are a combination of the 2 cultures. Impossible to pick one.


----------



## FreeSpiritMama (Oct 22, 2003)

Hi all, we are a mutliracial family too









I am white (english) and DF is black (Jamaican), our ds is nearly 3 and we will be ttc again in Apr.

Currently I am reading a great book called 'Mixed Feelings: The Complex Lives of Mixed Race Britons'

Glad I found this thread


----------



## Robertosmama (Mar 1, 2005)

I'm the mother of a biracial child, I'm white (irish,german,welish) and My husband is Pureto rican. My son's 21 months, His first/last name are spanish and his middle name is Sean. I really want him speak both English and Spanish, actually he has said 3 words in spanish, possibly without knowing what he was saying and their not good words. But I don't think he knows what he's saying yet anyways.


----------



## midstreammama (Feb 8, 2005)

I am white and dh is black. We have 3 daughters together. I am soooo tired of the "do you think their hair will be the same" question, uh...no, they are 3 different children..duh.
The are 6yo, 2yo, and 2.5 months old. I just have one question. How do you keep thier hair nice? I have yet to find a good way for dd1. Its always a struggle to brush/do her hair.

Nice to "meet" you all. I have always wished for other parents of biracial children to talk to.


----------



## MamaAllNatural (Mar 10, 2004)

I think the best thing to do would be to find someone who knows how to do their hair to either teach you how or you can pay them to do it really nice once a week (or less often). I used to get paid to care for a little girl's hair in a group home because no one knew how to braid it.

It's really easy actually. I think it's way easier than doing straight hair. Just use some extra conditioner and first comb her hair with a pick. You need to get one of those combs that has fine teeth on half and a long, skinny, stick (with a pointed end) on the other half. Once you get her hair combed, use the stick end of the comb to divide it Try to make the line as straight as possible. When you divide it, put whatever hair you're not working with in a scrunchy (sp?) or clip. Something that will keep it from tangling but keep it out of the way. You can do really nice regular braids if you don't know how to corn row. If you have someone teach you though, it's really easy. Find a nice hair do that she likes because if you do the braids nice and tight, they can stay in for at least a week.

If I lived anywhere near you (which I see I don't) I'd be more than happy to help.

BTW, I have lurked here and there on this thread but I realize I haven't even posted! (so not like me!) :LOL

Our kids are triracial - or more. White, Black, Latiino, & Native American. They all look mostly like me. They are pretty light skinned and the youngest two have almost straight hair! (of course just my luck since curly hair is easier for me to do







).

I don't like the term biracial at all though. We used the term mixed and we like it.









*ETA: There is some pink stuff (like a hair lotion) that I used to use too just to make it slicker and keep the fuzzies from coming after sleeping on it etc. I think I have some. I'll come back and post the name if I do...it's not very "natural" though.


----------



## Mother2Amaya (Jun 4, 2004)

My AA MIL recently told me to put baby oil in my 10-month-old's hair.







:

She has the most beautiful dark waves and loose ringlets and my MIL told me to put baby oil in it because one strand was sticking up like an alfalfa.

Even my AA SIL told me no way, that her hair is pretty. I bought an organic moisturizer and I use it on my hair and her hair occasionally and it works fine. I actually use it on me more than on her!

I think I'll end up paying someone to do it if it gets more hard to handle as she gets older. I can hardly manage to do my own hair most days. :LOL


----------



## Indigo73 (Aug 2, 2002)

I used to use baby oil on my hair when I was younger, before I knew the nastiness of mineral oil. But I have found that almond oil even (a very mild) olive oil work peachy to encourage my latin & aa curls to behave themsleves.


----------



## ondi4 (Feb 1, 2005)

You are invited to our group that is just for mommies of biracial children. Come meet other moms just like you. If you would like to take a look just email me at [email protected] and I will send you an invite.


----------



## NeeMa2three (Jan 7, 2005)

Hi, I know this thread has been going on for a while , but I'm new to MDC and thought I'd jump in here.

We span the globe in our house. I am the child of parents who are both mixed (yes we grew up with and still use mixed rather than bi/multiracial, feels more relaxed to me). I am Black/Portuguese and Indonesian/Arab. My DH is some mix of European countries that he's not entirely certain of. English, Welsh.....ok, ok he'd just say he was white.

My three kids each have a different look. It's very cool to see genetics gone haywire. They're like a daily testimony of how rich and diverse our families are.

I'll chime in on the hair thing. I have very curly hair that is somewhere between kinky and straight. I grew up often hearing that term "good hair" and how I was lucky. All that did was backfire and lead me down a path of thinking only some of the traits I inherited were desirable. After a childhood of straightening and being confused about what was beautiful about me I am now learning to love my unruly, sometimes silky, sometimes knotty, super curly, super frizzy global fro. I hope to teach my daughter that everything about her is awesome and that her straight (and I mean bone straight) hair does not define her or pidgeon hole her into one identity. Sorry about the long rant....funny how something like hair or eyes can have so much significance in a culture.

-Nee


----------



## MamaAllNatural (Mar 10, 2004)

Hi Nee. Welcome to Mothering!







You're awesome.


----------



## purplegirl (Apr 5, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *midstreammama*









I am white and dh is black. We have 3 daughters together. I am soooo tired of the "do you think their hair will be the same" question, uh...no, they are 3 different children..duh.
The are 6yo, 2yo, and 2.5 months old. I just have one question. How do you keep thier hair nice? I have yet to find a good way for dd1. Its always a struggle to brush/do her hair.

Nice to "meet" you all. I have always wished for other parents of biracial children to talk to.

I am resubscribing to this thread







. Hey midstreammama







:! You are in my neck of the woods. I live over in Pike Creek!


----------



## cuqui (Apr 14, 2004)

I guess we qualify as biracial. I'm Puerto Rican (Moroccan, Spanish, & Taino Indian), DH is pure Irish (from Ireland). I have 2 dds. On the hair thing, I have a green eyed blonde with super curly hair and a brown eyed, dark haired beauty with slightly curly hair.

I often get the nanny thing, when people hear me talking to them in Spanish. They look very different so people assume the blond is my charge.









My girls are tri cultural, they enjoy Puerto Rican, Irish and American culture and traditions. I think it makes them more interesting and certainly more open minded & inclusive.

#3 is due in Sept 2005, I can't wait to see what this one looks like, maybe a firery red head like DH









Nice to meet you guys!


----------



## USAmma (Nov 29, 2001)

I'm white American, dh is from India but he's American now, too. He's the only one here out of his whole family. Right now his parents are visiting and I'm going insane. 5 weeks to go . . .

We have two daughters, Abirami and Nitara. Both were to be raised Hindu but dh kinda dropped the ball on that. Both are also supposed to be learning Tamil but again dh didn't have time or something. Oh well, that's fine. Abi takes Spanish classes :LOL and loves it.

Our neighbors are racist and I have had some ignorant comments like, "What is she mixed with" and the best, "Are you her au pair?"







Abi is aware of her coloring compared to white kids but so far no issues there. Hope it stays that way.

The sad thing is that she doesn't understand my IL's when they speak Tamil, and she didn't know what a dosa was until this morning. I tried to get into Indian cooking but it's complicated to cook Indian food, and frankly I have my hands full with NItara (she has medical issues) and homeschooling and just being a mom.

I have a website with lots of cultural stuff on it www.darshani.com

Nice to see you all!


----------



## kymholly (Jul 18, 2004)

Hi

Well, I guess I'm kind of new here... even though I joined quite a while ago, I only post sporadically. I am mostly a lurker! I'm not sure if I've posted here, yet... but here is my blurb...

I am biracial... mom is white (Irish, French Canadian, Scots), dad is AA. My DH is white (French Canadian & Swedish)

My older dd is mini-me... tan skin, dark hair & eyes. Baby is all peaches & cream with red hair and dark gray eyes. My dad looks at Frankie & says what happened?!







My mom looks at her & says that's so I can see you're (meaning me) my daughter! :LOL

Genetics are a fascinating thing. Just when it seems like they've got a handle on all that dominant/recessive stuff, along come all of us !!!









It's so nice to connect with other moms with similar family make-ups.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v2...milychurch.jpg


----------



## cat21 (Jan 8, 2005)

homemademama I don't think that your son looks white at all.I can tell that he has some asian (filipino) traits. His skin is light but thats about it.


----------



## Mariposa (Nov 12, 2002)

hi! we are a bicultural family as well. i am a very white white girl (irish, german, scottish, a tiny bit of american indian and who knows what else). i don't identify with any of those since i wasn't raised with any of those cultures. grew up in hawaii though and identify with many things from there. DH is from mexico.

abby is a beautiful mix of the both of us. she is learning spanish and english and about both of her cultures as well as some hawaiian cultural stuff as well (hawaiian music, hula, typical foods, etc). if we move to indiana, she will learn japanese and japanese culture as well from my stepmom and that might refresh my japanese! love the japanese culture as well (my first love was japanese) and would love her to learn about that as well!

i am sooo jealous of her skin color though. i am pasty white and just burn. she is gorgeous.


----------



## purplegirl (Apr 5, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kymholly*
Hi

Well, I guess I'm kind of new here... even though I joined quite a while ago, I only post sporadically. I am mostly a lurker! I'm not sure if I've posted here, yet... but here is my blurb...

I am biracial... mom is white (Irish, French Canadian, Scots), dad is AA. My DH is white (French Canadian & Swedish)

My older dd is mini-me... tan skin, dark hair & eyes. Baby is all peaches & cream with red hair and dark gray eyes. My dad looks at Frankie & says what happened?!







My mom looks at her & says that's so I can see you're (meaning me) my daughter! :LOL

Genetics are a fascinating thing. Just when it seems like they've got a handle on all that dominant/recessive stuff, along come all of us !!!









It's so nice to connect with other moms with similar family make-ups.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v2...milychurch.jpg


Very pretty family mama. Genetics are so interesting!


----------



## peaceful_mama (May 27, 2005)

yeah sure!







I'm white-white-white and dh is black-black-black...not quite as black as you can possibly get, but *very* brown. He's Sudanese, born and raised there, I'm Midwest-American. DS is tan, brown curly hair, brown eyes. I kinda had a clue what he'd look like cause my friend is white and her dh is really dark too.......







DS is a perfect blend. I don't get 'adopted' comments.......but I have gotten the occasional 'so what is his dad?' lol

while we're at it, how about a board for inter-cultural marriages?


----------



## pixie-n-hertwoboys (Aug 17, 2003)

Hi! I'll join here too. I'm a white european mutt mix and dh is Mexican. We have 2 ds's who looks are changing every day. They are being raised w/ both "cultures" and speak spanglish.

Ds 1 has straight dark brown hair and brown eyes. VERY pale skin. Ds 2 has blond hair and lighter brown almost greenish eyes. VERY pale. LOL We all say I have super genes.

I get the opposite - are you sure your dh is the daddy? Um, well yeah, most certain he is. Ds has my face and ds has dh's face. Its a great mix they have.

heres a pic of all my boys daddy and boys


----------



## lisap (Dec 18, 2004)

: I'm white-american (spanish, german and english) and DH is from India. DD looks a lot like me and we do get a lot of stares and people never can tell my DH is DD's dad







. My IL's live here so they try to speak Gujrati to her and she understands a little. We have tried to teach her both cultures and she is only 20 months so she doesn't really understand the difference.

Glad to see this thread and read all of your posts. It's nice to know we are not alone!


----------



## Mother2Amaya (Jun 4, 2004)

My 15-month-old triracial (AA/NA/Cauc)dd is starting to FINALLY get hair. It's gorgeous, big dark ringlets... BUT... IT'S TANGLY!!!

Like you would not believe. Now i have relatively wavy hair and i struggle with detangling mine and pull out big wads of hair... but what can I use or HOW do I detangle the head of a wiggly 15-month-old?

Any suggestions?


----------



## marybethorama (Jun 9, 2005)

My dh is AA and I'm white.

We have 3 boys.

We live in rural western MD (near WV and PA) and there are tons of interracial (AA and white) families here so we don't feel like we stand out so much.

I find "No More Tangles" or it's equivalent works great on my kids hair.

Mary Beth of Paul (9), Harry (7), and Timmy (almost 4)


----------



## happyhippiemama (Apr 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mother2Amaya*
My 15-month-old triracial (AA/NA/Cauc)dd is starting to FINALLY get hair. It's gorgeous, big dark ringlets... BUT... IT'S TANGLY!!!

Like you would not believe. Now i have relatively wavy hair and i struggle with detangling mine and pull out big wads of hair... but what can I use or HOW do I detangle the head of a wiggly 15-month-old?

Any suggestions?










I feel your pain. My 22 month old DD is triracial as well (AA/HA/Cauc) and didn't get much hair till about 17 months old, and then it came in practically overnight. It's big floppy curls on top and tight kinky curls in back. I live in Iowa and literally know maybe 3 other-than-white people well enough to consider even acquaintainces, so don't have anyone to ask about how to deal with courser hair.

I tried combing the dreadies out of the back of DD's hair, but that took *forever* and was not well received by my DD. Then I came home from work one night to find my boyfriend running his great big four inch paddle brush through her oh-my-god extremely frizzed out afro hair. I freaked out.

"You can't run a brush through her hair, I can barely get a comb through it!"

He looks at me like I'm a complete idiot and says "well, I just did, didn't I." Apparently she pitched a fit for the first couple of minutes, then settled back against his chest and let him brush. He just grabs some hair with the edge of the brush and then wiggles it through a little at a time. It takes about ten minutes, and usually by about minute four or five, her eyes are rolling back in her head in ecstasy and she might even fall asleep. :LOL

Not all brushes will do it, my hairbrush for example pulls too much, and another one I bought just doesn't go through. I usually rub a bit of moisturizer in my palms and then through her hair to shape it up, and the frizzies spring right into ringlets that stay fairly dreadie-free for the rest of the day.

good luck. for me, it was complete trial and error (and lucky to have a boyfriend with no preconceived ideas about what one can and cannot do with an interracial child's hair.







)


----------



## MamaAllNatural (Mar 10, 2004)

Okay, with the super curly hair, you need to get a pick. After you wash it (which yeah, wash normally but you can use extra conditioner) pick it out. It's best if you can do their hair right then when it's wet but I know they're pretty young still to have hairdo's (sp?) overnight. For the day though when you're going to do their hair, pick it out (use a detangler if you need to) but just gently start from the bottom. A pick will comb through it easier than anything else. Then you need to get one of those combs that are half like a regular comb and half a stick with a pointy end. You use the pointy end to part the hair and can use the comb part to comb it nicely for whatever hairdo you're doing.

I must say, I think it's really important to find someone IRL that can teach you how to do you child's hair. I think it's important to the child and it's only fair. I consider it part of my responsibilty in bringing a child of a different race than my own into this world. I've seen some very sad situations where AA children (especially girls) ended up getting some negative messages about their hair (from their own family) and this runs deep. I don't want to go off or anything but this is a really important issue. We had the "hair" discussion in another mixed babies thread and maybe I'll go find it instead of having another huge discussion about it.


----------



## turkeygw (May 29, 2005)

I went to this website w/great advice on how to deal w/biracial/aa hair. If anyone wants the site addy, just reply back, because I have to redo a search(lol-yeah i know i should have wrote it down).

Here were some of the tips:
Don't grease your child's scalps(the scalps produces enough of its own oil)
Don't comb your child's hair when it's wet
This is a big NO NO: Only use wide tooth combs, those skinny, fine tooth combs damage hair folicles and cause split ends
Use a deep conditioner(for example I use Motions Conditioner on my daughters hair w/a cap for 15 minutes) The deep conditioner is really good for people w/curly/mixed/aa hair, and leaves hair shiny but more importantly MANAGEABLE
Another No No, don't brush your child's hair(like the fine tooth comb, it damages hair folicles and causes split ends
Avoid products that contain mineral oil or petroleum oil(these clog the hair spores, don't allow the hair to breath, and can cause dandruff
Try not to overdo hair(mechanics-styling)
Don't put braids in too tight
Luster's Pink lotion is also not a good product to use

Again, these tips were for people w/aa/biracial/curly hair, so it may not apply to those whose hair wasn't mentioned above. I learned so many wrong things I was doing to my hair(as well as my daughters), like for example, I never knew how bad it was to use a brush. The lady who gave the tips on the site is Cathy, and she has some awesome products I plan on buying next month for myself, and my daughters. I was so happy to visit this site, and learn the truth about hair. One of the biggest myths, especially in the AA community, is that greasing your scalp helps your hair. Well obviously after reading the info on Cathy's site, I realize that's not true at all. Cathy also has a book, she mentioned on her site for AA women. I forgot the name, but I'm planning on buying that as well.

Hope this helped someone, and I'd be more than happy to give the website addy, just do a reply, then I'll respond back.


----------



## BusyBee11 (Jan 25, 2005)

I'm caucasian American and my dh is Moroccan. The paperwork at dd's pediatrician asked for race and I didn't know what to put. When dh is prompted with that question he says "African-Arab".

Does anyone know what I should use for dd?

TIA


----------



## kymholly (Jul 18, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BusyBee11*
I'm caucasian American and my dh is Moroccan. The paperwork at dd's pediatrician asked for race and I didn't know what to put. When dh is prompted with that question he says "African-Arab".

Does anyone know what I should use for dd?

TIA









Personally, I like to live my life outside of the box. As in, I don't answer those types of questions on forms. I'm not interested in fulfilling someone's "quota" and I don't believe that those questions should even be asked. I know that most will call me naive (at best), but how about checking the "other" box & then filling in "human" for race.


----------



## Indigo73 (Aug 2, 2002)

My answer is along the lines with Kym.

My answer is usually "mixed." I am interracial myself and don't identify with any one race.


----------



## melissa17s (Aug 3, 2004)

Busybee11, in most cases human would be sufficient, but with a doctor, check off other and mark in Caucasian and Morocan because there are some medical consideration that are based on ethnic background. Usually they are rare, but it is much easier for a doctor to diagnose if they are aware. I doubt the doctor is asking to fill quotas that is an issue at the state and federal government institutions, but not a privitate practice doctor. To be safe, you could ask why they need to know.

My ped. knows about my dc ethnic background, and when we traveled to S.E. Asia to visit family, she was able to help us find a travel doctor who knew some about cultural customs from the area. He gave us health advice that was not just superficial.


----------



## BusyBee11 (Jan 25, 2005)

Excellent advice by all. Thanks!


----------



## USAmma (Nov 29, 2001)

Does anyone know of any children's picture books that feature mixed families?


----------



## lunadoula (Jan 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *USAmma*
Does anyone know of any children's picture books that feature mixed families?

Not sure, but btw bell hooks just came out with a beautiful new book called "Skin Again."


----------



## nora--not a llama (Feb 25, 2005)

Hey everyone! I belong here too! Three of my four kiddos are biracial...I am a white American and stbxh is East African. There are not a lot of biracial kids where we live, but I really haven't encountered any negativity...but they are still very young, so we will see as they grow.
As far as the hair products, I found a line of products called "Just For Me" that works well with my kiddos. I use the detangling spray and the conditioner on them.
Blessings.


----------



## boomingranny (Dec 11, 2003)

My girlfriend locked my dd's hair and taught me how to maintain it. It really suits her and it seems to go over well with everyone.


----------



## catherine_hogans (Sep 17, 2004)

My hubby and I are trying to figure out the rest of our lives!! ha ha
Anyhoo, how do you all feel about where you are living, in regards to the mix of cultures. We are really thinking about moving. Would you recommend your hometown to a black/white interracial family?


----------



## melissa17s (Aug 3, 2004)

catherine_hogans, yes I would recommend my town for an interracial family. It is a college town with 25,000 students. It brings a lot of diversity to an otherwise homogeneous area. I think any town with a large university would probably present a similar relaxed and accepting environment.


----------



## goddesshope (Jul 10, 2005)

Hi!

I'm Hope, white, hubby's black, and little Amelia is 13 months old, breastfed, co-sleeps, and is cloth diapered. Can't find too many minds like me either =)


----------



## loular (Aug 29, 2006)

I wanted to connect with other moms of biracial kids so I started a meetup group for moms of biracial kids in New York, New Jersey and Connecticut. If you are a mom of a biracial or transracially adopted kid in the area and would like to join visit our website at www.multiculturalmoms.com.

Lou


----------



## ondi4 (Feb 1, 2005)

For those of you asking, I do have a group for moms that have biracial kids. If you would like to join I would love to have ya join. A few of you have asked for the website, here it is. Free, private locked group, safe and for women only.
http://groups.msn.com/Biracialkidsandmommies


----------



## IvoryQueen (Sep 13, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *goddesshope*
Hi!

I'm Hope, white, hubby's black, and little Amelia is 13 months old, breastfed, co-sleeps, and is cloth diapered. Can't find too many minds like me either =)

You just found one!! My dd (cauc/AA/a little NA, but who's keeping track..) is 21 months now and fully potty-trained; I am convinced it is largely due to the fact that I had her in cloth, and became fully aware of her "pee pee" schedule







... It is amazing how many people laughed at me for using cloth. The same people don't believe she is already resposible for her bodily functions! Like I am somehow making it all up







:

Well I just joined, and I need to put in my $.02 about the hair issue... I agree that trying to make any COC's hair fit into caucasian societal norms sends completely the wrong message... That said, I will share how I keep my dd's hair in control (i.e. tangle free, so I can run my fingers thru it when we are watching Sesame Street, and able for me to pull it into a ponytail to get it out of her face):

When washing, I use Suave detangling kids stuff (nothin' special) and rinse it, then use the same kind of conditioner (it came in a value pack - what can I say?? I let the conditioner set for a while, then I use a wide toothed comb (ALWAYS USE A WIDE TOOTHED COMB) to go thru it gently while it is wet. This helps the conditioner rinse out easier, and it seems to stay "combed out" after the bath well. After baths, I use a leave-in conditioner (we're going with Garnier Fructis right now b/c it's what I use, and it smells so YUMMY!!!)
So there you go... I don't want to ramble too much, this being my first post and all.... Let me know if this helps


----------



## grneyes328 (Feb 24, 2004)

I'm glad to see this thread come back to life  I'm a white woman, married to a black man, expecting our first child. It's good to know there are others here that I can hopefully learn from.


----------



## doublesnap (Sep 11, 2006)

I'm also glad to see this thread revived, I'm a light skinned latina and my SO is a dark skinned latino, often mistaken for AA, and we're expecting our first in March. My mother has a little bit of an issue with this but both the SO and I are happy.

I definitely look forward to sharing your experiences


----------



## IvoryQueen (Sep 13, 2006)

Seems like this thread tried to revive, but died after all.. is there a separate space for all the moms here? Still raising DD (now 39 months, and the smartest child I know)
I think people question whether she is mine sometimes... We have a son now also, who is 4 months, and he is lighter in the skin (more like me), so no one has asked me "where I got him from" YES, I DO NOT MAKE THIS UP... and we have since moved to Tennessee, where race is, I guess, a big deal. I was born and raised in AZ, and race has never been an issue to me.. Until now. I think most people out here would be SO surprised to learn how much of a NON-issue it is to me.. DH "reminds" me sometimes of others' perceptions, because I am so clueless.

Here I go rambling again.. but what I really want to know is, ARE YOU GONNA GO MY WAY??? (Jaime is doing her Lenny Kravitz impression)

OK, OK, I couldn't resist... seriously, would someone join this post again? or tell me where everyone went??? OK cool










Jaime


----------



## GoGirlGo (May 21, 2005)

Just dropping by to say hello. I have one biracial daughter (bk/wt). I am black and my husband is white. We live in the south.


----------



## shayinme (Jan 2, 2005)

Hello, not sure if you are aware but we do now have a multicultural forum, that you might want to check out.

Shay


----------



## Bimyrt (May 8, 2008)

Hi everyone my mom is German and my dad is African American. Everyone thinks I am Latina because of my LOng naturallly curly hair. My husband is Columbian and Jamaican. All Three of our kids look extremely different!!! LOLOL My oldest looks Belizian, carmel color skin and kinky hair my middle daughter looks mixed (Black/White) with Green eyes and Red hair and fair skin and last but not lest, my youngest...she looks Dominican brown skin with silky black curly curly hair(not kinky). People always ask if my kids have the same dad and I get so furious. They are beautiful and very intelligent.


----------

