# Pregnancy after Loss



## Ms. Mom (Nov 18, 2001)

I'd like to open this thread for those who are experiencing a pregnancy after loss. Several of our 'regular' members are going through this now.

Pregnancy after a loss can be a time filled with much joy, but also a great deal of fears. This thread is a place to share your fears, hopes and dreams. Through this, we can help each other through support and encouragement.

*A New Heart Beats*

I think of you still my first child
as a new heart beats in my womb
I should be thinking of it
but instead, I'm thinking of you.

We waited so long for you to be
but, you had no breath
when you came to me
born a dream, a distant memory.

Now my belly is growing
you are an older sister
and you have only been gone
for six short months.

Why are you gone?
I should be loving this new life
but today, I'm still mourning you
what's a brokenhearted mother to do?


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## OceanMomma (Nov 28, 2001)

Well I'm here & feeling very sick indeed. I'm worried about not getting a baby but I am also very worried as to how I'm gonna make it thru the next 4 or 5 months & be able to look after Saffron & keep working.

My last pregnancy loss, I had pray for death morning sickness for 14 1/2 weeks. It suddenly stopped coz the baby had died. So I know, for me anyways, morning sickness only means the baby is still alive, not that it is necessarily going to make it.

I feel a little better in myself after seeing the heartbeat but I also feel quite bummed coz I dislike the whole medicalised pregnancy & birth thing so I feel very bad being reliant on it for now for my sanity.

So 7 weeks today. Here's to the next 33


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## Ms. Mom (Nov 18, 2001)

OM, Saffron is so lucky to have you for a mom. You have so much to give.

I know it feels so intrusive at times that we need 'extra' help in a process that's so natural. Several times I showed up at the doctors office and asked them to check the heartbeat. They were really good about it.

It's hard caring for a child when you feel so lousy. Try to accept any help offered to you around the house and such. Keep meals simple and use the weekends to rest and play with Saffron.


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## emmaline (Dec 16, 2001)

I'm here too (briefly, as it is ds's 5th birthday!), at 6 weeks, my second pregnancy this year, both pretty unexpected! as dh and I are not prolific breeders - 2 kids (and 3 m/c) in 13 yrs with nary a contraceptive in sight makes us not the most fertile folks

thanks for starting this thread jacque, I feel much more at home in this niche on the boards than I could feel in "I'm Pregnant", at least for a few more months

OM - just enough nausea is fine, of course you don't wish to be incapacitated, I hope your commitments can be held to a manageable level with all the help you can muster









back soon..


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## XM (Apr 16, 2002)

Emmaline, have you been made to feel unwelcome on the Pregnancy board? I know *I* have gotten into it with people making blanket (judgemental) statements about technology and such... like I am some mainstream chick who just wants u/s so I can have 'baby pictures'!

No, I just want to know that my baby is alive, thank you very much.

Fortunately for me (?), there are several ladies due in May who are experiencing pregnancy after a loss (and I am counting infertility as a loss because of how emotionally painful it is) so I have some wonderful company who is not about to soil themselves when I say that I just had an u/s. Some of us cannot concieve w/o a little 'help' and some of us are going to need a little more monitoring throughout the pregnancy, wether for concrete medical reasons or to keep what is left of our sanity. While I do not like technology either, I know that this baby and I have a lot to gain from it. And as a mother, it is my perogative to make the choices that will benefit us both the most.


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## jordmoder (Nov 20, 2001)

Thoughtful, as always, jacque! thank you

Well, I'm not pregnant now, DS is 6 months old!!! but have gone through a pregnancy after our first child died at birth ... actually, I've gone through 2 and a m/c ...

It got so much easier for me after I could feel the baby move and didn't have to obsess about every little twinge.

We did the full-on technology thing with Noah including CVS which personally I would never do again (I bled)and you know, he was almost born in the car, everything was so normal.

So, to all you anxious mamas, I am with you in spirit - be of good heart and just love yourselves and your little ones, day by day.

Barbara

mama to spirit child Jacob (10/23/98)
Noah (10/25/99) and
Nathaniel (5/02/02) who just smiles


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## emmaline (Dec 16, 2001)

barbara - thanks for your encouraging words









XM - it's not that I feel I would not be welcomed in "I'm pregnant", and I have no problem with making my own choices about yes or no to technology, it's just that I don't expect this pregnancy to continue much longer, though I'm willing to believe it's possible. If I get to 12 weeks I'll go introduce myself there in a flash!


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## OceanMomma (Nov 28, 2001)

I have to admit I am very wary of hanging out in I'm pregnant. I read the avoiding technology thread & just cringed. I'd so love to be able to have that attitude. I'm so staunch about avoiding everything else medical that I feel - I dunno - like the animal rights activist caught eating a steak when it comes to conception & pregnancy







:

I'm feeling a bit more positive or more able to accept whatever happens at the moment. I even







ordered the baby a pair of possum skin booties coz it is going to be born in the middle of the winter.

Still feeling sick as a parrot & am dreading trying to keep it together for the next ten weeks at least. ugh!

Question. How do you make iced tea ? I am thinking maybe if I ice some ginger tea & some raspberry tea it could help me keep my fluid intake up & help me feel a little less queasy.

How are you today Emmaline ?


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## emmaline (Dec 16, 2001)

no major changes OM, occasional flashes of good old nausea

great analogy re animal activist and steak!!

saw my doc today for a referral to my OB (who is currently out of town) and broke the news to my mum, who is always thrilled to hear of a pregnancy and will now be praying like mad - I'm sure she'd happily add anyone here to her prayers if you're into it??

possum skin bootees, wow! my sil has some possum fur on a jacket she got in NZ and told me it's all OK because they are a menace

for iced tea I think you just brew it up as usual and stick it in the fridge? or pour it over icecubes?


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## OceanMomma (Nov 28, 2001)

Yeah possum skin booties are a bit of a shocker considering I'm a vegan but there are something like 70 or so million here & they do untold damage to our native forests & our bird life so I have no probs with it at all. Slightly







Tbut when I was pregnant with Saffron I was having major meat cravings. We sat down & worked out the only guilt-free meat we could get here was possum or rabbit. Interestingly enuf, I never gave in to my meat craving









I'm happy for you about your nausea. Mine is still here altho' I feel a bit more human after my acupuncture this morning. Have you thought of trying it to help with keeping the baby in ?


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## emmaline (Dec 16, 2001)

I'm glad acupuncture helps OM, perhaps I should try it but after my last birth I am so needle-shy the very thought gives me cold sweats (a very difficult epidural, switched to "complete" spinal that didn't work on the inner layers of me - not good for scalpel business)

something else to work on..

hope you can have a relaxing weekend


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## Ms. Mom (Nov 18, 2001)

Hi ladies, glad you're getting support from each other. I'm reading and listening to all of you. Nodding my head in agreement to you're feelings.

The best way to ice tea, is to brew it very strong (about 2x strength) and pour it over ice. For some reason, when you put herbals in the fridge, they get a slimy film? The ginger is really good iced with a touch of lemon in it - sometimes I needed a bit of sweetner in Ginger, but not much. The Rasberry is naturally sweet and awsome on it's own (drinking it right now).

There are several herbs and spices that you may want to check on before using during pregnancy. Ginger, Red Rasberry Leaf & Dandylion are all excelent.

This is the info I have; Cinnamon, nutmeg & Clove's can cause irritation to the bladder during pregnancy. Also, Catnip I heard can cause contractions (so maybe in week 40 it's good?). I think there's a back article on this on the boards. I'll digg around and see if I can find a link.

As for acupuncture, the needeles are placed on the skin. It dosn't hurt at all. Not like a needle going into you, not even like a tattoo. But, if trying it causes you anxiety, then it's not a good idea!

Wishing you all gentle nausea and peace.


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## XM (Apr 16, 2002)

emmaline~perhaps you could get some of the same benefits with acu*pressure*? I know they use the same pressure points... I KWYM about needles... I have a tattoo, and I am still a bit leery of acupuncture! And after a bad epidural experience, I don't blame you one bit for being needle shy!

OM~Two ?'s... first, are parrots sickly creatures? I am just asking because I have seen you post a couple times that you are 'sick as a parrot', yet I have never seen a parrot vomit









Secondly, where can I get me a pair of those possum booties?







I take it they are not a native species to NZ? We have them here (possums not made into booties yet) but they are so slow and confused that they all get run over before they can enact their plans to take over the city... I feel almost sorry for them. But I know how they can be real pests elsewhere!

One midwife I mentioned my intense steak cravings to said that it's not uncommon even for vegan women to crave meat when they are pregnant... probably for the protein and iron?

Anyway, I have been feeling less nauseous lately, but I am now 14 weeks along... hopefully you all will see your nausea get better in a few more weeks as well.


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## OceanMomma (Nov 28, 2001)

Lols about the parrot. I'm english originally & I think it is an english saying. I'd imagine a lot of parrots are pretty homesick. I get very sad when I see them in cages & in zoos.

Possums here were introduced from Oz about 150 or so yrs ago. They are a major pest. They munch thru bulk native forest thus destroying habitat for the birds & killing off vast amounts of bush. They also raid native bird nests & steal the eggs. I'll ask if the possum skin bootie place has a web site. Otherwise I can always send you a pair. I'll post a description when I get my pair.

MsMom the iced ginger tea sounds divine. I'm gonna try some dandelion coffee too.


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