# my son says everything is too tight



## annanicole (Dec 18, 2007)

It doesn't matter what I put on him I could put a pair of shorts that need to be tied to stay up and he'd tell me they are too tight. I have to fuss and wiggle and readjust them and sometimes he'll leave them on. This all started with me potty training him. He's been in underwear for over a month now all the time, and this too tight thing is getting worse. His underwear have to be just right and his shorts have to be just right. Has anyone else gone through this? I don't want to dismiss him, if I fuss with them a bit most of the time I can convince him that they are perfect. I think it may be a control thing. I always offer him 2 seperate choices to pick from. I just think it may be a bit more. I hope someone else has gone through this and can help.


----------



## VisionaryMom (Feb 20, 2007)

DS has major sensitivity issues. His are related to being bipolar (it's very common among BP kids), so they come and go with his moods. I try to accomodate as much as possible and have let him go without a shirt or shorts for the day when that's a possibility. He almost never wears PJs because he wakes up throughout the night with them bothering him. We've just given him an extra blankie. I know those aren't really solutions, but we've just tried to work around it.

Sometimes I have to say "you fix it because I can't seem to get it right." This is especially true of socks because the lines have to be perfect across his toes. Most of the time then he will fool with them and then be happy.


----------



## EarthMommy80 (Feb 8, 2007)

My niece had this problem. I felt so bad for my brother!
Then.... I have a child that is exactly the same.
They have problems with thier pants. It's a terrible struggle with this issue every single day! If anyone has any suggestions, I am willing to try _anything_ at this point.


----------



## mysticmomma (Feb 8, 2005)

It sounds like a sensory issue, and the only word he knows or way he knows to express that something is uncomfortable is to say, "it's too tight."

Are there any consistent clothes that he doesn't say that to? With my dd, I had to invest in 10 pairs of anything that felt good to her.


----------



## 2shy2post (Oct 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mysticmomma* 
It sounds like a sensory issue, and the only word he knows or way he knows to express that something is uncomfortable is to say, "it's too tight."

Are there any consistent clothes that he doesn't say that to? With my dd, I had to invest in 10 pairs of anything that felt good to her.









Yup - this is DD. Until 3.5, she went naked most of the time. When she would wear clothes, she wouldn't wear any underwear at all, which only bothered me if she was wearing something that would allow others to know she didn't have panties on. So we talked about certain parts of her body needing to be covered and she makes an effort to be sure that it's modest. Even now, she's not wearing much & if someone knocks on teh door - she'll run to her bedroom to put clothes on.

When I realized that she seriously had problems, I literally dumped out everything we owned in a variety of sizes. She started to pick through what she wanted. I now have a pretty good idea of what she will or won't wear, but I still give her final veto power.

Interestingly - she is most comfortable in clothes that cover and "cling" more: leggings, long sleeve shirts, pj sets, etc. We are in TX. It was 100 degrees last Friday and she was wearing a two-sizes-too-big long-sleeve polar fleece dress and leggings.









Also, certain fabrics may be bothersome. DD is 100% cotton. Anything else and she's wriggling in her clothes (IF she'll keep them on). Though, I've heard of different children having different fabrics they tolerate.


----------



## Chinese Pistache (May 29, 2006)

My dd had issues like this, too. She's mostly outgrew it by 5 yrs old.


----------



## mamadelbosque (Feb 6, 2007)

I had issues with socks & underwear as a kid (and still do, tbh). I hated most girls' underwear and my mom actually let me wear boys' (cause they felt better - the difference being that girls' had/have elastic around the legs, and boys' don't... the hanes her way didn't/dont either, but it took her years to find them...) till she found Hanes Her Way when they first came out/she fuond them and I switched to them (I was probably like 10-12 at the time). As for socks, it took my mom a long time to figure out, but basicly I couldn't (and still can't) stand any socks that the seem goes across the front of my toes. Once she figured that out, she (and now I!) could buy socks apropriatly.


----------



## camracrazy (May 27, 2006)

He doesn't have acid reflux, does he? My 4 yo has reflux and she cannot stand anything remotely tight especially around her waist area. I read somewhere that tight fitting clothing can aggravate reflux. Just a thought.


----------



## philomom (Sep 12, 2004)

Sweatpants, pajama bottoms that could pass for "clothes". Humor him for awhile... maybe he'll outgrow it.


----------



## claddaghmom (May 30, 2008)

.


----------



## liliaceae (May 31, 2007)

I had issues like this when I was little. I didn't like to wear shorts, so I wore dresses all the time, and I couldn't stand to have the seam of my socks under my toes, it had to be on top. I outgrew it though. Don't have any advice, just thought I'd share.


----------



## Tigerchild (Dec 2, 2001)

I had sensory issues similar to this as a kid, and even now there are some fabrics and clothing/pant cuts that literally make me shudder.

As I got older I could tolerate things for longer (like, for example, wearing a costume on stage, even though most costumes have the fabrics that make me itchy and cuts that I hate) if it was for a reason that I agreed with.









But as a kid I spent a lot of time cutting tags, turning socks inside out (can't stand the seams or a the little fuzzy thread things, drives me nuts), bought my own underwear with my allowance, ect.

Honestly, I would take a look at what he can tolerate, and build a wardrobe from there. Having these issues doesn't have to be a big horrible thing (I'm certainly a fairly well functioning independent adult), but if you're really concerned getting an evaluation wouldn't hurt probably.


----------



## crowcaw (Jan 16, 2009)

I have one like this, though she's not as severe as some children I've heard described. With her we sorted clothes and figured out what she'd tolerate (absolutely no jeans or non-stretch pants, no elastic in the legs of panties, armholes must be loose, no tags or collars.....) and then for things that are iffy before she dresses I warn her that what she's is going to put on might be tight (or scratchy) and if it is to tell me and to point to where it doesn't feel right then we work on that spot and I do what I can. Sometimes stretching the fabric helps or moving it higher or lower, etc. Warning her really seems to help her keep her cool with it. I'll ask for suggestions as to what to do, continually ask for feedback (is this better? can you still feel it?) and tell her how I'm trying to fix it or tell her to see if she can make it right herself. This running dialoque has definitely made it easier for her to get dressed and for the last couple months she's been getting dressed herself without only minor involvement from me. Oddly once everything is on and adjusted she goes through her day without further complaints about clothes.

Getting the bicycle helmut or certain shoes on can still be major drama.....


----------



## annanicole (Dec 18, 2007)

I'm thinking it may be sensory and the control thing. he's fine in jeans no complaints at all, but now wants all tags out of his clothes. He HAS to wear underwear. he's just become very particular. He needs to wear certain underwear and certain pants. The thing is nothing I put him in is too tight. or even remotely close. It may be too tight is the only way he can communicate it's uncomfortable. I got him some bigger underwear like way too big underwear and he seems a bit more comfy.

I think a little of it has to do with the size of his penis. It sounds really weird but he's sort of endowed for a little kid and most of the toddler underwear don't leave much room for a package. And he refuses to not wear underwear. I tried the no underwear with loose jogging pants material shorts and he had a fit.

thanks for all the help. I think I will search to try and find boxer short type underwear for him and hope that helps a bit.


----------



## FreeRangeMama (Nov 22, 2001)

I have 2 kids with sensory issues and it really helped to just stock them up with stuff that felt comfortable.

For ds1 that means ONLY cotton and 2 sizes too big. He will only wear loose boxers, and prefers shorts and sleeveless shirts because he hates the feel of fabric on his forearms and lower legs. (he also is obessed with where things are manufactured, he will only wear things from a handful of countries and then only if the are second-hand and therefore environmentally/ethically responsible







he is a tricky one to dress). Second-hand stuff is great because it has been pre-softened for him already.

Ds2 will only wear tight-fitting things. He generally refuses to wear shorts (though he has been a little more flexible this year), and loves button up shirts buttoned right to the top. On the hot days I worry about him overheating! The compromise has been swim shirts (naturally tight fitting) and long shorts with socks. As long as things are a little small he is happy.

The worst thing is the lack of hand-me-downs! But if I can help them feel comfortable it is worth it.


----------



## StephandOwen (Jun 22, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *philomom* 
Sweatpants, pajama bottoms that could pass for "clothes". Humor him for awhile... maybe he'll outgrow it.

I would caution you that this could backfire. My ds has huge sensory issues, especially when it comes to clothes. Last fall started a downward spiral. It got worse and worse and worse until early this year we got to the point where he would wear like 2 pairs of pajamas and that was it (and it was the really tight fitting cotton pj's). Totally inappropriate for school. And yet, it was the only thing I could get him wearing to get him into school (preschool at the school he will go to Kindergarten to this fall). He had to go to school because that's where he was getting therapy at (he has autism). The school finally put their feet down and said NO MORE PJ'S AT SCHOOL. The next 2-3 weeks was pure h*ll on earth. We made the rules (pj's are for at home- clothes are for outside/stores/restaurants/schools/etc). We made it perfectly clear to ds and we were all on board with it (myself, dp, the school). I, being the one who had to get these clothes on him to get him out of the house, got the crap beat out of me by a 5 year old. There were many days where I had to dress him fast, buckle him into his carseat, drive him to school kicking and screaming, carry him into school kicking and screaming and deliver him to the therapist who held him, kicking and screaming, while I left. Then I sat in my car and cried and cried and cried. And the focus of his school day was to keep his clothes on. When I picked him up I had a pair of pj's in my car to change him into.

Fortunately he did start getting better and NOW it's not a struggle to get him dressed.... if I do it "right". He has 2 pairs of Big Dog boxers that he loves. If those aren't clean his next favorite is Gymboree unders. He doesn't wear anything other than those 2. He will either wear athletic shorts (blue being preferred by far) or athletic pants. No sweat pants, no khakis, no jeans, etc. Shirts are plain white undershirts. Tagless, of course. Rarely I can get him wearing a different shirt, but it happens maybe once a month. Shoe of choice is Cars flip flops. Socks are h*ll. Sneakers are closely following in socks footsteps.

Pj's are still preferred by far. He will wear most pj's if they don't have any buttons and they don't feel scratchy.


----------



## 4inMyHeart3inArms (May 21, 2009)

sounds sensory to me too.

if he says its too tight then to him it may be too tight. I had sensory issues when I was younger too and I hated clothes that were too tight and my mom made me wear them anyway when I just wanted to wear sweat pants (which is all I wear 90% of the time now that I'm an adult) but really having to fight against a sensory issue made life a lot harder then it had to be - behavior wise and school wise, though I was naturally gifted so its a good thing I didnt need to pay attention in class or I would have failed.

Anyway, another possibility is he has confused the words tight and uncomfortable. My oldest has done that a few times, mixed up words. Like if I say "oh thats tight isnt it" he associates that word with feeling uncomfortable and so on another day I might put a loose shirt on him and he will say its too tight but what he means its uncomfortable (like a tag bothering him or something) but either way I vote for finding clothes that are comfortable and even if you think they arent uncomfortable or too tight respect that it may still feel that way to your son.


----------



## Barefoot~Baker (Dec 25, 2008)

Wow there are so many with this issue, I never realized!

Dd1 is the same way, although she has gotten MUCH better. It started at around age 3, she wouldn't wear underwear or socks, no jeans. I insisted she wear undies with dresses and skirts (although sometimes she'd sneak them off!). Her underwear are about 2 sizes too big, or they feel too tight.

Shes 5 1/2 now, and wearing everything that she formerly would not wear, and this improvement started only about 3 months ago!


----------



## Cherry Alive (Mar 11, 2007)

I had this issue. It was totally sensory related for me. I couldn't stand jeans or girl's underwear. Turns out I have very sensitive skin. Latex gives me rashes and some fabrics do too. If my DD has this issue, I will be trying to find comfortable fabrics she can wear and very carefully paying attention to our laundry detergent (some brands make my clothes itchy). I've heard using white vinegar in the rinse cycle can help.


----------

