# NOT on Facebook tribe?



## FloridaBorn

Come out, come out, wherever you are! I know (or at least I hope) I'm not the only one!

Anyone else out there tired of the constant media bombardment to update the world on your personal affairs? Sick of feeling "left out" of social circles because you're not on FB, even though you really don't care to be on FB??

Do you have stories to share?


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## accountclosed15

OHH OOH!!!! Pick me!!!









It was fun in the beginning but I realized there was a huge reason I didn't keep in touch in the first place. I honestly left behind a life I don't care to relive. I also was getting bashed for posting things that I believe in. Everyone has a right to there opinion but someone was posting hateful things and I thought "Really??? You wouldn't dare say something like this to my face." Too much drama for me. I did keep a listing of contacts I do care about but not enough to read their stream each day. It's been nice. More time for more important things. : )


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## tillymonster

Ugh yes, me! Unfortunately I am on FB since last Feb. because I had to start networking to be successful in freelancing. It has worked somewhat but I just hate social networking sometimes. And love it other times.

I feel like it's invasive and really, quite antisocial. How many people do you know who actually hang out or regularly speak with half the people they have on their friends list? Then there is adding idiot relatives who annoy you and get to know what your up to, but without ever having to call you? I am a web dev and saw the whole "viral" social network phenomena start and take off. It was crazy to watch twitter go from a nothing, useless site to being used BY EVERYONE!


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## JudiAU

I'm not. And I'd say about 98% of people I know actively use it. I am obstinate.

I miss out on some family photos and a lot of annoying chit chat. I make up for it personal privacy. And I hate the vanity of the modern internet.

Professionally, I buy and manage a lot of digital content. I understand social media well. But I don't use it because the privacy controls are inadequate.


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## FloridaBorn

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *tillymonster*
> 
> I had to start networking to be successful in freelancing.


I do professional henna body art, and in addition to being a new mother and NOT on Facebook, I've really seen my business with that plummet. It's sad.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *JudiAU*
> 
> I am obstinate.
> 
> the the privacy controls are inadequate.


This is exactly how I feel, too!


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## Lazurii

I'm not on Facebook! I used to be, but it just sucked my time away. I'm noticing I have an addictive personality, and getting my ego stroked by people commenting on my stuff was pulling me out of my real life and away from my family. I've been a ton happier after I left. My hubby and I call Facebook and exercise in cyber narcissism.


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## HappyHappyMommy

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *JudiAU*
> 
> I'm not. And I'd say about 98% of people I know actively use it. I am obstinate.
> 
> I miss out on some ... photos and a lot of annoying chit chat. I make up for it personal privacy.
> 
> ...
> 
> But I don't use it because the privacy controls are inadequate.


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## philomom

I don't use it and I find it annoying to the extreme. One of my teenage nieces was updating her FB page at the Passover Seder table last year. Honestly, I just about wanted to rip her in two. No phoning, texting or computers at the table... it's rude!


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## Subhuti

I have never been on it because I know it is a time waster and I would be instantly addicted.

I think about 90 percent of my friends are on it, but I always get the important updates on mutual friends via my friends who do have accounts. I really don't feel left out.

What IS sad to me is that I have seen two forums that I love, MDC and a dog forum, slow down to a crawl because ( I think / have heard ) half the people just do FB instead. I guess why would you post the same information twice?

But I love the forum platform because it means your and others' material is there for everyone to share -- it is like a library of conversations. I can't tell you how these two forums have helped me as a mom and as a dog owner. It's good to have a centralized repository of "folk" wisdom on a topic.


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## ahimsamom

I'm not and people actually give me a hard time for not being on because they can't see pictures of my dd. My main reason definitely is for privacy. I agree with whoever said it is creepy.

I think it is really annoying how EVERYTHING posted online lately gives you the option for "liking" it on facebook. grrrr.


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## hazeldust

I've been off for about a month now. When I got off, and fb wanted me to put a reason why, I wrote 'fb is F***ing with my social mind'. I thought that was pretty funny, lol! I just realized that it wasn't leading to 'connection' for me. It was actually making me more socially awkward, making me feel left out, leading me to compare myself to other people. I kept thinking about how I was thinking about people im not friends irl with, on a daily basis. Thinking about some filtered version of their reality, and that was stretching my mind too much. And neglecting the people who are directly in my life. I feel way better now that I'm not on anymore. Sometimes I miss certain aspects of it, but I've stayed strong. It's funny, I quit fb and smoking on the same day







What does that tell you,lol? Oh and my best friend is a staunch opposer, so that works out good. She was nice enough not to say 'i told you so!'.


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## *bejeweled*

I quit FB years ago and haven't looked back. There are so many things that make me uncomfortable.

How creepy that future bosses and really anyone can look up your life online. Too weird. I try to focus on calling and keeping in touch with my real friends. FB reminds me of high school. The good and the ugly.


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## Mommel

I quit a few weeks ago now, and have only thought about it a few times since then. I'm in agreement with a lot of what was posted here about it... the biggest problem I had was that I moved here a few years ago, became really attached to FB around that time and essentially never let go of acquaintances that I left on the other side of the country... it made me feel more connected to them, but when the real sh*t hit the fan in my life, I had NO ONE local because I hadn't bothered to foster real life relationships in my new town... since I left FB only a few weeks ago, my social life IRL has exploded and I already feel so much more connected to this place that I've lived in for four years now. Go figure...


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## mandib50

i'm on it but really really dislike it for sooooo many reasons. i stay on because i'm going to school 3000 km away from my family and friends and it's one of the easiest ways to keep touch with people and see their photos while i'm gone but ugh the second i graduate from school i'm getting rid of it. can't wait.


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## lookatreestar

its just not my cup of tea.


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## *bejeweled*

It cracks me up when people ask, "Didn't you see our vacation pics?" And I'm like, "No." And they say, "I put them on Facebook."







I just respond, "I'm not on FB." Please. If you want me to see your pics, send them to me.


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## CaraMama

And here I thought I was the last person on earth who wasn't on Facebook... thanks, ladies, for restoring a little hope for humanity!


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## Mother-2-b

I love this thread. I actually am on FB, but also agree w/most everything said here. I limit myself pretty strictly most of the time -- checking in maybe once a month or so, but then at times I do get sucked in and start checking every few days for a week or two. Then it gets old and I drop it again. I post a couple times a year, but refuse to do the mundane status updates w/random opinions, links, minor daily events or musings. I've considered dropping it altogether, but can't bring myself to take the plunge yet, because i have so many far-flung friends that I do enjoy keeping up with. Problem is of course the ones I care about the most are not the ones who post most often.

I think my biggest issue with it is that it often *doesn't* make me feel better about myself -- just sucks me into comparing my life w/countless other people's lives, and comparing my lack of one-liner wit/humor with others. So, generally i don't miss it when i disappear for months on end, but then eventually something brings me back to it. AND -- recently I was fortunate enough to be connected to an old friend on FB who would not otherwise have known how to contact me to let me know of the tragic death of a mutual friend. That eventually led to a reunion of about a dozen or so old friends in the place we all met originally, most of whom had not been in contact with each other over the years. SO -- i see a few advantages now and then, and guess that's what keeps me on. I foresee a day though when i'll eventually drop it altogether.


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## cynthia mosher

Hi everyone!

We have a new feature that allows forum members to create "clubs" of their own that have many of the same benefits of a forum, including multiple threads, a member's list, and group messaging. All tribes are invited to switch from the one-long-thread here in FYT to the new Social Groups. You can read more about it *here. *Let me know if you have any questions but please post to that thread so I can keep everything in one place.


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## EuroMama

I am on FB right now but I don't want to be!

I feel somehow obligated because my side of the family lives in Europe (I am from Europe!)

But then sometimes I think to myself, if they wanted to keep in contact, we can e-mail and sent picture's via e-mail!

One of my nieces is really driving me crazy, she posts there one lines after one liners "I just ate" "I am going to bed" I can't sleep" etc etc lol!

And then some of the drama that people create.

I just feel like I am getting too old for this kind of BS?!

I


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## FloridaBorn

You know what's bothering me here lately about Facebook? It's that bands, small activist groups, etc. no longer have web pages, or have not updated their webpages in a very long time! I want to go check up on such'n'such group to see if they're touring in my area... and their website hasn't been updated in three years! But their FB page is recent!

I just don't care for the way it's assumed everyone is "logged in" all the time.


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## Mommel

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Cynthia Mosher*
> 
> Hi everyone!
> 
> We have a new feature that allows forum members to create "clubs" of their own that have many of the same benefits of a forum, including multiple threads, a member's list, and group messaging. All tribes are invited to switch from the one-long-thread here in FYT to the new Social Groups. You can read more about it *here. *Let me know if you have any questions but please post to that thread so I can keep everything in one place.


I'd like to start a social group for this tribe!!


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## philomom

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Mommel*
> 
> I'd like to start a social group for this tribe!!


I'd rather not. The club idea is very much like another site I don't like well and it allows others to exclude some. It makes Mothering seem even more splintered and empty.

I hate that as a practiced momma .. I can no longer chime in to anything I'd like.


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## mylilmonkeys

My mom has been all over me to get on FB. I told her I think it is creepy. I had to reclaim a FB page my son made at a friend's house, but only used the once and then forgot his password. A couple "friends" got the password and used it to impersonate him and make rude and sexual comments to nearly every girl in town, except for those which would get back to him/us. I managed to reset the password and reset it, and am "holding" the page until/if DS ever wants to get on FB. At the moment, he has no desire, but it's given me a chance to investigate FB and how it works.

At around the same time, DH decided he should make a FB. He is studying Media Technology in school and it will be rather expected of him to have a page and will look odd to not find anything when he goes job-hunting. I told him to please not post any pictures of the kids, and he's fine with that. We discovered that you can share video/pics selectively, so we investigated being able to post something occasionally just for family, but noticed that DH could see videos of people he was not friends with if people he was friends with commented. So we experimentally posted a nonsense video to just my sis and asked if she commented on it, if she could share it with others. And, yes, she could. So what is the point of only sharing with selective people? Crazy!

And back to my mom, she called me a few weeks back all upset because she knew her family was lying to her! Her niece was in town, but lied to my mom about it, and she found out because she posted that she had been on FB. Also, my mom has two sisters, her twin and an older sister. The older sister lives in the same town as my mom, and her twin lives 3 hours away. The two of them have a very close relationship, and have excluded my mom, and this becomes all the more obvious because of FB. I wish my mom would just get off FB!


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## EuroMama

I really want to delete my FB. Its sucking me in, I read drama all over there, friend's who are going through divorces and posting every detail of their divorce on there etc.etc.

I am scared though if I do quit FB I will not hear from my family in Europe as much. I was born and raised in The Netherlands, and left Europe 11 years ago to be with DH here. So, I feel almost obligated to be on there, or I won't hear or see any pictures etc!


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## Mommel

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *philomom*
> 
> I'd rather not. The club idea is very much like another site I don't like well and it allows others to exclude some. It makes Mothering seem even more splintered and empty.
> I hate that as a practiced momma .. I can no longer chime in to anything I'd like.


Please tell me what the cons are to having a social group? I just thought it was a place where we could have multiple threads for varying conversations... it seems more versatile to me, no?


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## Mommel

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *EuroMama*
> 
> I really want to delete my FB. Its sucking me in, I read drama all over there, friend's who are going through divorces and posting every detail of their divorce on there etc.etc.
> 
> I am scared though if I do quit FB I will not hear from my family in Europe as much. I was born and raised in The Netherlands, and left Europe 11 years ago to be with DH here. So, I feel almost obligated to be on there, or I won't hear or see any pictures etc!


Do it!! Just make an effort to stay in touch via email... and remind them to send pictures, etc... my sister lives abroad too, as well as several friends and it was the best thing I've ever done! It's actually strengthened those relationships because it forced me not to rely only on snippets and status updates... I actually communicate with personal emails and more Skype calls than before as well!!


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## EuroMama

Good idea. 

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Mommel*
> 
> Do it!! Just make an effort to stay in touch via email... and remind them to send pictures, etc... my sister lives abroad too, as well as several friends and it was the best thing I've ever done! It's actually strengthened those relationships because it forced me not to rely only on snippets and status updates... I actually communicate with personal emails and more Skype calls than before as well!!


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## 261houston

Well I am new here to MDC, and recently quit FB. I am 47 years old, and recently gained physical custody of my grandkids, ages 1,4, and 6. My life has changed so much now, that I really just had to cut ties to everything that did not serve my highest good, and nurture and support my new situation. I found myself getting messages from people that never talked to me prior...and I feel that it was just a nosy intrusion, not one of wanting to be there to support me emotionally or anything. I also found myself getting jealous of my friends who were able to continue to live their lives, going places, sleeping in, and living single or at least stable lives. I miss social interaction of all kinds...and that is why I am here, hopefully to make some new friends, and to learn as I go about the many facets of mothering in today's world. I looked for my tribe and not sure ...there are a lot of groups I may fall in to, but this one is my start... prior to taking my grandkids in...I had left my career of nursing for 28 years, due to severe burnout, and a conflict of interest in my value system. I had plotted and planned for years how to do this and how to leave "mainstream" society.....less than a month out...I got a call and had to make a trip back to the town I had left....and jump back into mainstream....get the kids to safety, find a home, and a job....immediately. so here we are. having so many mixed emotions with how to raise these angels. I do not want to mess them up at all, but it kills me to see my 6 year old granddaughter maturing too fast and complaining about being fat. I do not like what social media does to us or or children....sorry to get off the FB topic, but I needed to....and if anyone has suggestion as to where I need to post, feel free to advise. I am also considering moving to an intentional community with the children, but approaching this slowly and with much thought.... thanks for listening momma's!


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## *bejeweled*

Hi,







I just wanted to say







welcome to MDC. There are some awesome women here. Check out Talk Amongst Ourselves and the Childhood Years.
Quote:


> Originally Posted by *261houston*
> 
> Well I am new here to MDC, and recently quit FB. I am 47 years old, and recently gained physical custody of my grandkids, ages 1,4, and 6. My life has changed so much now, that I really just had to cut ties to everything that did not serve my highest good, and nurture and support my new situation. I found myself getting messages from people that never talked to me prior...and I feel that it was just a nosy intrusion, not one of wanting to be there to support me emotionally or anything. I also found myself getting jealous of my friends who were able to continue to live their lives, going places, sleeping in, and living single or at least stable lives. I miss social interaction of all kinds...and that is why I am here, hopefully to make some new friends, and to learn as I go about the many facets of mothering in today's world. I looked for my tribe and not sure ...there are a lot of groups I may fall in to, but this one is my start... prior to taking my grandkids in...I had left my career of nursing for 28 years, due to severe burnout, and a conflict of interest in my value system. I had plotted and planned for years how to do this and how to leave "mainstream" society.....less than a month out...I got a call and had to make a trip back to the town I had left....and jump back into mainstream....get the kids to safety, find a home, and a job....immediately. so here we are. having so many mixed emotions with how to raise these angels. I do not want to mess them up at all, but it kills me to see my 6 year old granddaughter maturing too fast and complaining about being fat. I do not like what social media does to us or or children....sorry to get off the FB topic, but I needed to....and if anyone has suggestion as to where I need to post, feel free to advise. I am also considering moving to an intentional community with the children, but approaching this slowly and with much thought.... thanks for listening momma's!


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## FloridaBorn

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *261houston*
> I do not like what social media does to us or or children....sorry to get off the FB topic, but I needed to....and if anyone has suggestion as to where I need to post, feel free to advise. I am also considering moving to an intentional community with the children, but approaching this slowly and with much thought.... thanks for listening momma's!


I don't this this is off topic AT ALL! Living with purpose and distancing from the mainstream is easier when you're not on FB (and when you limit online time/tv time *period*). What I've noticed about a lot of younger folks is that it's hard to get to know them aside from their online veneer. It's like you really have to dig to get them to open up about their likes/dislikes because FB nurtures them and they canNOT break out of their bubble and appear not cool or have their own opinion, not for one minute. Am I generalizing? Yes, but tell me if you've seen the same thing or give me a story otherwise. I definitely think this is an issue that needs discussing!

FYI, there is an intentional community about 10 minutes up the road from me in Sunny Fla. I think they have a baby there now, but for the longest time there were no kids, and the community is definitely open to more folks and youngins! http://www.ecofarmfl.org

Whatever you decide to do, houston, I hope you can get the support you need!


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## aeterna

I really have no interest in the FB thing... I have a google+ account that I literally never update, but I was more amenable to that because it didn't require yet.another.login (I'm so bloody sick of making new logins!) somewhere. I just don't have the patience for the drama and pressure of the FB world. Plus I'd get seriously addicted to the stupid games. >.<

As a (soon-to-be) social worker/counselor, there are two schools of thought regarding FB: you need a page so people in the community can look you up and feel like you're trustworthy, but it needs to be a professional-only page (no pics of last weekend's drunken party, or whatever). Alternatively, you absolutely cannot friend any clients/potential clients because there's a possibility of boundary/ethical issues.

So... I need to make a page just to have a page, and keep that page updated, and have that page be public/professional so it looks like I'm a real human being and trustworthy enough to see for counseling services without having to "friend" clients, but I can't post anything that's about my actual life because it might be controversial or offensive? Which means I couldn't friend half my friends, because I can't control what they post and I know them well enough to know they'll post plenty of offensive and controversial things. But then my family/friends will be upset if I 1) don't friend them or 2) don't post enough personal updates, so now I have to have TWO pages, one for pretending to be a professional automatron, and one for getting sucked into the pressure and drama of minute-by-minute updates for people who can't be bothered to do more than click "like" if I want to talk about something that actually matters?

....gee, sounds like fun. Where do I sign up?


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## Mommel

Oy! I hear you... I just have a LinkedIn profile for the professional stuff. It makes me look trustworthy and professional and everyone can add me, but there is no "wall" for people to write on. That said, if you must have a FB profile for professional reasons, you can add all your family and friends and set the privacy settings to make it so that no one can tag you in photos or notes and no one can write on your wall except you. Good luck! Doesn't sound fun to me. I've been FB free for several months now and I do NOT miss it at all!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *aeterna*
> 
> I really have no interest in the FB thing... I have a google+ account that I literally never update, but I was more amenable to that because it didn't require yet.another.login (I'm so bloody sick of making new logins!) somewhere. I just don't have the patience for the drama and pressure of the FB world. Plus I'd get seriously addicted to the stupid games. >.<
> 
> As a (soon-to-be) social worker/counselor, there are two schools of thought regarding FB: you need a page so people in the community can look you up and feel like you're trustworthy, but it needs to be a professional-only page (no pics of last weekend's drunken party, or whatever). Alternatively, you absolutely cannot friend any clients/potential clients because there's a possibility of boundary/ethical issues.
> 
> So... I need to make a page just to have a page, and keep that page updated, and have that page be public/professional so it looks like I'm a real human being and trustworthy enough to see for counseling services without having to "friend" clients, but I can't post anything that's about my actual life because it might be controversial or offensive? Which means I couldn't friend half my friends, because I can't control what they post and I know them well enough to know they'll post plenty of offensive and controversial things. But then my family/friends will be upset if I 1) don't friend them or 2) don't post enough personal updates, so now I have to have TWO pages, one for pretending to be a professional automatron, and one for getting sucked into the pressure and drama of minute-by-minute updates for people who can't be bothered to do more than click "like" if I want to talk about something that actually matters?
> 
> ....gee, sounds like fun. Where do I sign up?


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## EuroMama

You can make it to where someone can't tag you??? How do I do that?

I hate it when people tag me in pictures. lol

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Mommel*
> 
> Oy! I hear you... I just have a LinkedIn profile for the professional stuff. It makes me look trustworthy and professional and everyone can add me, but there is no "wall" for people to write on. That said, if you must have a FB profile for professional reasons, you can add all your family and friends and set the privacy settings to make it so that no one can tag you in photos or notes and no one can write on your wall except you. Good luck! Doesn't sound fun to me. I've been FB free for several months now and I do NOT miss it at all!


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## Mommel

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *EuroMama*
> 
> You can make it to where someone can't tag you??? How do I do that?
> 
> I hate it when people tag me in pictures. lol


If I was still on FB I would figure it out and tell you... so sorry!


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## Mommel

I have started a group here: http://www.mothering.com/community/groups/show/17/not-on-facebook-tribe for us to post any number of discussions as a group. It has none of the exclusivity associated with the PP's objections, as anyone can join at any time with no restrictions. You are a member when you say you are.









We can talk about anything and start individual topic threads there to keep them more organized.

Anyone want to be a co-leader with me? The job entails MDC moderation in the same way that other MDC forums are moderated for adherence to MDC guidelines...


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## EuroMama

I am actually considering leaving. I feel I am being sucked in too much by FB! lol

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Mommel*
> 
> If I was still on FB I would figure it out and tell you... so sorry!


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## Mommel

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *EuroMama*
> I feel I am being sucked in too much by FB! lol


Me too. I just posted a thread listing top reasons for leaving FB over in the new group!


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## Nazsmum

Not on FB. Don't understand it.


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## Koalamom

So not into facebook here. Never had an account.
Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Subhuti*
> 
> I have never been on it because I know it is a time waster and I would be instantly addicted.


I totally agree. I know I would be addicted fast.
Quote:


> What IS sad to me is that I have seen two forums that I love, MDC and a dog forum, slow down to a crawl because ( I think / have heard ) half the people just do FB instead. I guess why would you post the same information twice?


I am bummed that alot of the groups I was on here are now only on facebook. Like my allergy forum mamas, I have not seen them ever again after they went to the dark side. Now my local ladies group has a facebook page and I think they will eventually stop their emailing and just post events on facebook. The local homeschool group is on facebook. Sure hope I don't have to sign up just for that. So stupid.

Facebook, I hate you!!!!!!!!!


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## clh5117

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *tillymonster*
> 
> Unfortunately I am on FB since last Feb. because I had to start networking to be successful in freelancing.


I feel you! I was having to keep mine because I part of my manager position at my last job was to update the social media. That plus networking for business (I am a doula and I also run a non-profit) it has meant I have had to keep it and I *hate* it. But the group to communicate with others in the lead at the non-profit is also *drum roll please* ON FACEBOOK. Ugh.


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## cynthia mosher

Hi everyone! Just wanted to give you all a heads up about our active Not on Facebook Tribe group forum here. Please join the group and post a hello!


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## Nazsmum

SO! I know that this is an old thread...I need to vent in the worst way. 

I as turned down for a position because...you guessed it not on Fb. :bang I'm without words. It is only a summer thing and not even paying very well. I am without words.

Vent over.


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## Turquesa

Nazsmum said:


> SO! I know that this is an old thread...I need to vent in the worst way.
> 
> I as turned down for a position because...you guessed it not on Fb. :bang I'm without words. It is only a summer thing and not even paying very well. I am without words.
> 
> Vent over.


What the what???? If you don't mind my asking, what kind of work was this?


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## Nazsmum

It has to with child care. I was very taken a back. The mom asked to see my facebook page. Even IF, why do you want to see it lady??? I am a homeschool mom of 3 very well behaved childen....You get the picture.

_what the what????_ is right!!!


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## IsaFrench

isn't that discrimination ??? .... reminds me of the day, about 3 years ago, when i wanted to register two of my kids for ONE ski class for only 2 hours in a SMALL ski resort ... and they nearly refused my money ... because i told them i didn't have a CELL PHONE ... the didn't believe me at first, then they tried to make me feel bad about safety (... what if an accident happen etc ....?). i managed to persuade them to allow my kids in the ski class ... but i was shocked and annoyed for a while ...


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## Nazsmum

@IsaFrench similar thing going on here. It is funny you say about the cell phone. I only have a cell phone in case of emergency (no phone booths ) But it is not a I-phone/smart phone just a flip phone and the lady did not like that very much...LOL really. People


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## Turquesa

IsaFrench said:


> isn't that discrimination ??? .... reminds me of the day, about 3 years ago, when i wanted to register two of my kids for ONE ski class for only 2 hours in a SMALL ski resort ... and they nearly refused my money ... because i told them i didn't have a CELL PHONE ... the didn't believe me at first, then they tried to make me feel bad about safety (... what if an accident happen etc ....?). i managed to persuade them to allow my kids in the ski class ... but i was shocked and annoyed for a while ...


I'm in a similar predicament! I once had an employer want my cell phone number, and they didn't believe me, (at first), when I said that I didn't carry one. I later became sort of the office joke, the Amish one who didn't live in the 21st century.

I'm unapologetic about how much I love _not _being accessible to everybody all of the time. Also, I _know _my Dark Side; I will become that Smartphone mom that you see at the park. :lol

re: Social media . . . Depending on what source I access, a little over half of all Americans are on social media. I'm not sure of these statistics in France, but seems foolish to rule out 40%+ of a job pool just because the candidates don't use Facebook.


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## IsaFrench

i must admit ... i now have a cell phone ... (and also one of my sister explained FB to me when it spread to our country ..." even if you don't want to use it yourself, get an account and monitor what your teens are doing there, because they may otherwise have the liberty to use it improperly etc "...) so am also on FB ... nowadays, this is mainly the way i can keep up with news for both of my dance classes anyway ... so i hope no one here minds if i take part in the discussion ...

Said sister and myself had an issue with a distant cousin to whom we had sent photos of all of us by e-mail, which she promptly posted on her facebook .... so we had to explain to her that no, we didn't want our children to appear that much on the internet etc ... on the other hand, it's so practical when you want to post private message to one individual ....since most people have it on their phone, ... technically my phone should accomodate that, i'm just not in a state when i'm capable of learing how to put internet yet on said phone LOL ... 

a rant of mine is to do with people's expectation and subesquent irritation ... due to health issues, i don't routinely let my phone "on" with the ring tone .... = i use my phone when "i" find it convenient to use it ........ well, some people who want to talk to me "now !!!" (since they know that i now have a cell phone ...) get really annoyed that i don't pick up the phone the moment they think it rings (even AFTER i explain what i do and why = because i need to rest at odd hours ) ... which i find just so rude of them ...


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## Turquesa

Oh I get that a lot. I've had irritated people try to text my landline and wonder why I don't hurry up and get back to them. :lol Enhanced communication has made us all feel entitled to access each other and invade each others' personal space. It's one of the 1001 reasons that I'm off of Facebook. That feature of telling everyone when you read their private messages was driving me crazy. 

I'm about to break and get a cell phone. If anyone has any dirt-cheap, super simple, contract-free suggestions, let me know. DH is using a pre-pay cell phone that I can no longer find at the box stores.


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## sadena

You definitely are not the only one


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## mysisalina

Permanently quitting facebook, best decision ever... aside from going no contact with my damaging and dangerous narcissistic parents. Absolutely freeing!!!!


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## Mother-2-b

*Yes!!!!! I can SO relate*

Love reading this thread, and glad it has resurfaced. (Are there 2 threads? one of the earlier msgs has me confused).

My strategies:
As a non-profit entrepreneur for the past couple years, I found -- right about the time I was realizing how much I would rather just delete my FB account -- that I needed it for the marketing & outreach potential for the small, geographically dispersed, niche market of my non-profit.

Then, I had some bad experiences w/some nasty FB & blog drama (some of it not on FB, which i had no control over), and that was the incentive i needed to 
1-- Clean up my friend list (small to start with), so mainly relatives, plus a few close friends from other cities
2-- Change my privacy settings, as a previous poster mentioned, so that no one can post on my wall and i can't be tagged in posts or photos. (not sure exactly where 
3-- Stop 'liking' or even browsing other people's posts; use it almost exclusively for business. (Easier said than done, which leads to my next step)

Now, my next step -- which may take another year or two -- is to completely hand over the non-profit's FB page to someone else I can trust, and then delete my personal account (which i need to keep the other page).

I absolutely agree w/previous poster who said that she doesn't like what social media in general does to us OR our children. Mine are still young, so i have a couple more years before i need to address the issue w/my kiddos. But for now i need to keep myself away from it.

Also, on the topic of cell phones:
I have used a Google Voice account for several years now, almost exclusively for texting (works like email on my end, but communicates to cell phones). I do also have an OLD school flip phone (Tracfone) w/no contract, and reluctantly this year bought a full year's worth of minutes. My hubby & I share one phone (yes). We carry it primarily when we are traveling (I hate keeping track of it, making sure it's charged, etc), and the only people who have that number are my mother, & sister, or people we absolutely need to contact while traveling. For anyone else, if they need to contact us while we're away, i give them the Google Voice # and have that forwarded to our cell phone. That way, the number in their phone is the GV #, not my cell phone, and they quickly learn that I don't respond immediately to those msgs.

I, too, think it's important that I choose when I want to be available to anyone other than on my home phone.

I know I'm a dying breed-- and now that I too have a cell phone, it feels like a slippery slope -- BUT, now that everyone else has smart (stupidity) phones, my flip phone still feels a bit like the stone age. 

Nice to know we aren't completely alone...! And, one of these days I will go off FB completely. It always gives me some hope when i hear of others pulling the plug (or just going dormant).


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## Mother-2-b

Turquesa said:


> Oh I get that a lot. I've had irritated people try to text my landline and wonder why I don't hurry up and get back to them. :lol Enhanced communication has made us all feel entitled to access each other and invade each others' personal space. It's one of the 1001 reasons that I'm off of Facebook. That feature of telling everyone when you read their private messages was driving me crazy.
> 
> I'm about to break and get a cell phone. If anyone has any dirt-cheap, super simple, contract-free suggestions, let me know. DH is using a pre-pay cell phone that I can no longer find at the box stores.


LG Flip phone w/Tracfone. I got mine last year at a Dollar General, of all places. I think they are still out there, but you may have to hunt. Similar ones are made by Motorola & Samsung. So much cheaper than smartphone versions, b/c you don't have to pay for data.


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## mysisalina

Turquesa

I'd imagine this would work on most any "smart phone" if you were interested.... although I bought a Samsung s4 mini as I needed international capability, I needed to work from it and needed one small enough to fit safely in a pocket and this one fit my requirements at the time. I still am happy with it. We stopped having a land line a long time ago as we move a LOT and just don't talk on the phone anyway

Anyway I have a Google Voice phone number (free) I can call/text from wifi for free. If I am out of the house I can find wifi (in stores, library, cafes, etc.) and use my Google Voice # for free.

BUT I also purchased a SIM card ($10ish dollars?) with AT&T GoPhone. I can refill my account with say $10-$15 and let it just sit in my account. If I'm going to be out and about a lot one day and "need/want" phone service I put $1 worth of data on my phone and can text and call via data. This works for me  I never make long phone calls, never ever. So if you were making a long chat phone call using data I don't know how long it would last? My calls are like 1 or 2 a week and for less than a minute or two! I've never liked talking on phones since I was a kid... some weird anxiety I have! So I don't know if this works for your needs but it's been super cheap for me  It did take doing some research to find a working combination of everything


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## Nazsmum

Update on that summer job :wink: The lady hired someone that did not work out very well. SSSOOOO she call me today and asked me if I can take over. I feel like flat out telling her NO. But not sure? I will talk to her tomorrow...:mischief


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## girlspn

It's been over 2.5 years since I used Facebook, and prior to that I had taken a 3 year break with a year of use in between for networking. I don't know anyone not on Facebook, and sometimes find myself in the middle of a conversation I have no idea what's going on with a family or friend who had posted about that (often personal) topic on Facebook. I don't miss it and feel like I'm happier without. But I am finding that organizations I am interested in often connect on Facebook. Sometimes I wonder if I can connect more easily with new friends on FB, because it doesn't seem like people want to make effort to connect outside. Does anyone ever feel like they're missing out?

Sent from my SM-J5108 using Tapatalk


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## Nazsmum

girlspn said:


> Does anyone ever feel like they're missing out?


Not really. I go out live life meet people face to face.


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