# Intimacy in the family bed with a toddler



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

I hope this subject is alright to post. My dh will be home soon after being gone for 10 long months. I am very excited and can't wait to get reattached. I have one concern, though. When he left our baby was not quite 6 months old. He slept pretty soundly so being intimate with my dh wasn't a problem. Now he is 15 months old and is more easily disturbed by noise and movement. My concern is how to be intimate with my dh with our toddler in our bed. Using other parts of the house is not an option because we also have a teenager who can appear at any moment. Does anyone have any advice, suggestions or encouragement? What can we do?


----------



## Caroline248 (Nov 22, 2003)

Do you have your own bathroom?? Sometimes the shower can be a fun place!! We have also put blankets on the floor and either we moved to the floor, or the child was moved there....

I guess the noise would still be an issue though.....hmmm. Will your husband be around during the day when the teenager is in school? We hardly ever do it at night anymore. Does your teenager watch the baby for an hour or so? Last week we left the kids for two hours with a sitter, went to luch, then went "parking" like we did in high school...have to get creative!!

~C~


----------



## HelloKitty (Apr 1, 2004)

I'm going to sound like I'm copying Caroline's answer but... you can have the teenager watch the toddler while the two of you "go take a shower and get dressed"







or lay blankets and pillows on the floor. That's what we usually do


----------



## chersolly (Aug 29, 2004)

Can you put your DD in a Pack and Play and be really, really quiet? Or maybe your tot can bunk with your teen for a night or two?


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Thanks everyone for your great suggestions. Unfortunately, my teenager hasn't shown enough responsibility yet to babysit while my tot is awake. We homeschool my teenager plus my dh isn't home during the day so that's not really an option. I could try the pack and play but he's never been able to sleep in one before. He won't sleep anywhere except the bed or a sling. Since he still nurses throughout the night I don't think bunking with my teen is an option either. I have gotten an idea, though. We do have an extra room that we use as a playroom. We can sneak in there after the little guy is asleep.


----------



## IncaMama (Jun 23, 2004)

i think your plan is a winner! use that other room while the kiddo is sleeping. bring a blanket though for minimum body pain. LOL


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *michelemiller*
bring a blanket though for minimum body pain. LOL

Gotcha


----------



## dido1 (Aug 12, 2004)

Foam play mats make great padding under blankets for makeshift intimacy nests


----------



## plantmommy (Jun 7, 2004)

It brings a whole new meaning to "playroom"! LOL!

Actually, ds is 7 months but can be a light sleeper, also dd in the next room can also be a light sleeper, so we set up one of the queen size airbeds in the playroom, bring in the baby monitor so we can hear if any kids wake up, and don't need to worry about making noise. We use the playroom more than the kids do!


----------



## lizabird (Jan 19, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *plantmommy*
It brings a whole new meaning to "playroom"! LOL!

:LOL

I guess I would just second the suggestions about leave the babe in the bed (or maybe make a little bed on the floor and get DS to sleep there) and you and your DH can have the bed or the floor, wherever DS isn't. That's what we do...


----------



## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *plantmommy*
It brings a whole new meaning to "playroom"! LOL!











Just make sure the playroom has a lock!!!


----------



## PajamaMama (Dec 18, 2004)

We have a queen size Aerobed. It inflates in under a minute and so is very portable. Sometimes we inflate it in the master bathroom so we don't wake the toddler in our bed, and because like your situation, we have an older child who is apt to appear anywhere else at an inopportune moment. But the master bath is only accessible thru the master bedroom, and that door has a lock.







Good luck!


----------



## EmmaJean (Sep 26, 2002)

Do you have a sound machine or a fan you can point towards the wall for background noise? I have *loved* this!!! It's never stone silent in our room anymore, so Lily (or whoever is asleep at the time) doesn't get disturbed when there's a little noise. I think we all sleep better, and I'm not paraniod about making a little noise...whenever that may happen....









Good luck and have fun!! You might want to practice leaving the room w/ baby on the bed before your dh comes home, just to see how the baby reacts, how much time you have, the best time to leave, etc. For me, nursing Lily to sleep, putting her to bed and then a few minutes later I know she's *sound* alseep for an hour or two. Sometimes it helps to have a pillow next to her so she gets the feeling of being w/ someone.

Rambling when I should be working...

Congrats on having your hubby back!!!


----------



## polka123 (Nov 27, 2003)

on the floor @ the foot of the bed...
lots of bedpillows & a blanket








with the tv on low


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

One of the problems I've had with my ds is that he doesn't stay asleep for very long at night if I leave the bed. During the day he will sleep for 2-3 hours by himself in the bed. At night I'm lucky if he'll stay asleep for an hour. If I get up, he's usually awake and crying within 30 minutes. I have no idea why he's fine there during the day but not at night.


----------



## mama23k (May 4, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *polka123*
on the floor @ the foot of the bed...
lots of bedpillows & a blanket








with the tv on low

Thats EXACTLY what we do. We also have our fan running every night--helps a little more with the noise factor.







AND closing and locking the door!! Somebody just waltzing through REALLY kills the mood. :LOL


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

I can't even begin to describe how wonderful it is to have him home after he's been gone so long. I am just so happy he is alive and in one piece. We had the most glorious night together last night. Everything went wonderfully, no interruptions at all. It couldn't have been more perfect. Thanks to all of you for your great ideas.


----------



## IncaMama (Jun 23, 2004)

i'm so happy for you!!!!! and bless your husband...how long had he been away? i can't even imagine what it was like for all of you.

and how great that you had a wonderful night together!!!!


----------



## SRHS (Jan 9, 2003)

Marine Wife...glad for you your hubby is home...mine is due home in a bit over a month...counting the weeks!!! have fun and enjoy...glad all went well!!!!


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

He'd been gone for almost 10 months, 6 or 7 of it in Iraq.

SRHS, I'm glad to hear your dh will be coming home soon. It seemed that the last few weeks were the hardest part when they are so close and yet still so far, kwim?


----------



## SRHS (Jan 9, 2003)

YES!!! DH is in Balad and due home beginning of June, but I have started to question if I will make it another month...and he's only been gone for 4 so far!!! HAts off to you....don't know how you do it over and over and over again!!!


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Thanks but I haven't done it over and over again yet. This was our first deployment. Although he says he will be deployed again in January. I don't know how it's done either. You just do it because you have to and the homecoming is so incredible words cannot describe it. You will know what I mean. Hang in there.


----------

