# "I had a Sharpie. I was bored." (Kids say the darndest things)



## Linda on the move (Jun 15, 2005)

For a total fluff thread, I thought we could share things our children have said recently, and the age and context if they will add to the merriment.

My starting comment, "I had a Sharpie. I was bored" was uttered by my DD when she saw the look on my face when I saw the extensive art work she had created on her LEG. Sadly, she's 13.


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## CherryBombMama (Jan 25, 2010)

the only cute thing i can think of is my 2 year old telling my 11m old in the bath tub, "THI-THUR (victor) sit dooooooooooowwnnnn." when the baby is standing up lol


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## purplerose (Dec 27, 2010)

My kids (teenagers included) draw on themselves with sharpies all the time, I have never cared about that. My only rule was not to do it if they were going to spend the night with someone.

When my youngest was about 2 or 3, she came up to me with a blue mouth and announced, "I didn't lick the marker!" When she had just turned 1 and was learning not to touch the Christmas tree, she'd grab onto a branch and lean over to look at me and grin and say, "Hey! Hey! hey!" Also during her toddler years, when she'd do something she shouldn't, she'd say, "Why I do dat, mama?" Sometimes I'd have to go and figure out just what it was she did...She was a very interesting toddler!


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

When we got off the plane in Minneapolis after flying from the west coast, dd announced, "wow, it's humid. I can really feel the humility! "


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## Mummoth (Oct 30, 2003)

Around the fire at my parents cabin, DS was throwing sticks in & tripping over people's feet, so naturally I was telling him to be careful, stay back, etc. He threw his hands up in frustration and said "Ugh! I feel like I'm being supervised!" I failed at the not laughing thing.


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## karne (Jul 6, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Linda on the move*
> 
> For a total fluff thread, I thought we could share things our children have said recently, and the age and context if they will add to the merriment.
> 
> My starting comment, "I had a Sharpie. I was bored" was uttered by my DD when she saw the look on my face when I saw the extensive art work she had created on her LEG. Sadly, she's 13.


Funny you should post this. My dd is enamored of henna art, and loves to draw designs on herself with INDELIBLE marker.


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## 3xMama (Oct 14, 2010)

About a week or so ago, my five yo DD came to me to show me her "baby" (a stuffed animal, I think it was a rabbit that day). She said she had to go give her baby a bottle of formula because baby was hungry. Since I have exclusively breastfed both of her younger brothers, I was a little surprised by this and asked her why she didn't give her baby num-nums (breastmilk). She looked at me like I was an idiot and said "Because I'm too little to make mommy milk!" like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Ahhh, gotta love kids.


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## Honey693 (May 5, 2008)

Yesterday DD1 asked me "Why is there so much crazy business going on?"


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## muldey (May 8, 2002)

Dd and her best friend decided to draw on my wall.They are 13yo!What did they draw?Me and the creepy neighbor who is older than my parents who is always coming on to me(ewwwww) as stick figures kissing.Then they drew a heart with my name and his in it,together forever.With pen,so it will be difficult to get off with a magic eraser.And the worse part is,this guy came into my room to ask me something(my room is half of a double parlor,so not exactly private).Thankfully there was a pillow covering that part of the wall!!


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## FarmerBeth (Mar 9, 2011)

DH was complaining today about how I always make beans and weiners without the beans. A little later, I made beans (no weiners, yuck!) and DS (11) said, very dead-pan, "I don't see any weiners". I was just about to grumble when I saw the small smirk.


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## bella99 (Sep 25, 2008)

Two nights ago, my husband and I were in the front yard with our 2.5 year old daughter. We were watering the flowers and playing with the hose. My husband sprayed my daughter (as we have been doing every night in the heat) and she replied, "Daddy stop it, you don't do that to people".

Then of course he put the hose down, she promptly picked it up and sprayed him with it


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## mamaboss (Jul 23, 2008)

As she's picking her wedgie my 3 yo DD says, "Ugh, I have a wedgie in my butt. Mom, why I always get wedgies?"


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## galincognito (Nov 23, 2007)

when dd1 was ~22 months, she poked her head out of the bathroom to say "what are you doing, not a toy!" since she knew full well that she shouldn't be playing in the bathroom.

the other night, dd2 announced she was going grocery shopping and dd1 says "well, we'll miss you kid." i just about fell off my chair.

dd2 proudly showing me her finger after having picked her nose, i asked if she had boogies on her finger and she replied "no, breakfast!"


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## K1329 (Apr 6, 2009)

Our most recent giggle - ds, 4, took a two week swim class. He learned swimming skills, but, has not learned to swim yet. The next time we went to the pool, he announced " I don't have to wear floaties, I can swim! I have my certificate!"
Yeah... a certificate of completion doesn't actually mean you can swim...


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## Peachthief (Nov 19, 2008)

DD just-turned-2, while I was getting dressed: "mama boo (blue) bra. two milkies inthere."


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## pianojazzgirl (Apr 6, 2006)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Mummoth*
> 
> Around the fire at my parents cabin, DS was throwing sticks in & tripping over people's feet, so naturally I was telling him to be careful, stay back, etc. He threw his hands up in frustration and said "Ugh! I feel like I'm being supervised!" I failed at the not laughing thing.


Ha ha! Love this one!


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## loraxc (Aug 14, 2003)

DS, 3:

"I think it's cool how they made people have feet."


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

Background to understand this one:

1. Ds is majorly into sports.

2. We're visiting relatives in Wisconsin. The state animal is the badger. The mascot of the Univ. of Wisconsin teams is the Badger. (Bucky Badger, I believe.)

We were driving and saw a bus that said "Badger Coaches" on the side. Ds said "Is that bus only for the Badger's coaches?" I think he had visions of all the sports coaches riding only that bus.

(We explained about the second meaning of 'coach' = bus.)


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## Jenni1894 (Apr 1, 2011)

I was making dinner one night and it included bacon. DH and I like it crispy....DS likes it rubbery....lol So I gave him his special bacon pieces and he says to me "yummm.....baaaaacccccooonnn! Serving this for dinner is a fine way to show respect to a young man such as myself!" He was 6!

We have a family joke kinda where say Shut the front door! You know like in the commercial and it sounds like she's about to say shut the f*** up. Well DD3 says Shut the back door! She will not say front. lol It's always back door.

DD3 also tells me, when I inquire as to why she's sleeping in her undies....it feels better. The sheets and blanket feel nice on you skin. You should sleep naked Mommy. (DH&DS sleep in undies, but have never said anything about sheets, so I'm not sure where this comes from!)

DS also once put a rice krispie in his ear. He said he wanted to know what it sounded like. He was 4.


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## cyclamen (Jul 10, 2005)

At the library the other day, I had my 2yo on my back. She told me she was feeling tired and I said we'd go just as soon as I had found my last book. With kind of a huff of exasperation, she replied, "We have books at home!"


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## 34me (Oct 2, 2006)

During the flu outbreak a couple years ago my son (7th grader? 8th?) and I were talking in the car about how more than 50% of the students in his school were out sick. I then went on to complement his wonderful immune system since he never gets sick. Absolutely dead pan he says "must be all the boogers I ate as a child...." Ewwwwwwwwwww


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## Comtessa (Sep 16, 2008)

DD (26 months), while in the middle of a bad cold, asked me in frustration, "Mama, how glue get in my nose?"

This morning, she was nursing happily, then suddenly unlatched, looked up at me, and said, "Wanna chocolate mama milk now."


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## Imakcerka (Jul 26, 2011)

There was a commercial on the radio that explained how breastfeeding lowers your risk of getting diabetes and all sorts of other things. During most of the commercial the girls were arguing until the commercial stated all the health benefits. Both girls stopped and whispered to each other. Next thing I know I got a round of applause and whistle blowing, pats on the back and thank yous for breastfeeding them. My oldest told me she was proud of my efforts. Ha!


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## crunchymama19 (Apr 9, 2011)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Comtessa*
> 
> DD (26 months), while in the middle of a bad cold, asked me in frustration, "Mama, how glue get in my nose?"
> 
> This morning, she was nursing happily, then suddenly unlatched, looked up at me, and said, "Wanna chocolate mama milk now."


LOL! My DD1 is lactose intolerant so she drinks soymilk, sometimes chocolate. When I was pregnant with DD2 she asked if she would have that too. I told her that no, she would nurse. DD1 (also nursed until about 2) then requested we put chocolate soymilk in my boobs! LOL!


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## Smokering (Sep 5, 2007)

Today, I was putting my three-year-old in her carseat when she said "Mummy, can I have Miles' blanket on my knees? It's very cold." I put it on, and without skipping a beat she said "Also, can I have my window down? It's hot."


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## Comtessa (Sep 16, 2008)

A new one from my toddler!

DH and I were trying to make plans for the evening without DD's input. DH said to me, "Should we get a M-O-V-I-E tonight, or try for a W-A-L-K to the P-L-A-Y-G-R-O-U-N-D?" DD looked from one to the other and announced, "I wanna A-B-C-D!"


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

We were coming back from vacation, and I was commenting to my kids that their hair had gotten lighter because of all the time they'd spent swimming outdoors. Dd looked at my hair and said, "Well, your hair is lighter, but it's mostly because you've got a lot of gray hairs. But at least the hair on your legs is still dark!"


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## Stephenie (Oct 11, 2007)

My dd weaned about six months ago. Recently, she's been asking to nurse again. The other day, she asked and I told her my milk is all gone now. She said "Go get more muks. Go buy some at Target."


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## Smokering (Sep 5, 2007)

Ooh, another one from DD yesterday - I was sewing, she was playing with my measuring tape.

"Mummy, come here, I want to measure you. You're..." (stretching out tape) "...six months!"

In her defence, we recently watched Mary Poppins.


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## Jenni1894 (Apr 1, 2011)

Over the weekend, I told DS7 to come bring a toy to his room. Totally dead pan he says.....not now mom....I'm training to be a ninja. and he walked out.

Once I regained myself, I look out in the yard and he's carrying his bike on his shoulders around the yard......


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## MammaG (Apr 9, 2009)

Yesterday was DS1's seventh birthday. DH took the day off and we went to the aquarium. We met another family there with two little girls. It turned out one of them was six. On hearing this, DS said, in a superior way, "I was once six".

My kids have been hearing reference to the US capitol city on the radio a lot this summer, with frustration in the air. They have asked if we can visit 'Washington BC'.

(Watching a nature documentary)

DS2 "How will they get away from the creditors?"

DH "You mean like Bank of America"

DS2 "Yeah....creditors in the wild"

DH "Yeah"

Economics 101 at our house.

My middle son has a hard time with pronouncing the letter 'L'. As a result he yells with glee, "I'm crapping, Mamma", when he applauds; when he is proud of his efforts to tidy, he will gladly tell you he's 'queening up'.

My favourite ever mis-pronunciation of a body part is 'squirt-um' (right next to the pea-nups).

Man, it's good to have a laugh sometimes, isn't it?!


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## brydensmomma (Aug 7, 2011)

My mother was telling my son that Jesus loved him so now whenever he's in trouble he tells me that Jesus did it.

I'll ask him "did you draw on my walls" and he'll say "no no momma, Jesus did it"

only odd thing is...he doesnt really talk but this he says clear as day


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## Stephenie (Oct 11, 2007)

A few more from my kiddos:

This spring we had a freakish amount of June Bugs in our back yard. My four year old was playing outside and came in and said "I hate the April bugs." "Don't you mean June Bugs?" I asked. "No, April Bugs. It's April, not June."

--

Another from my four year old "Mama you have lots of lines on your eyes." (Thank for pointing that one out, son...)

----

2 yo dd "Rawr! I'm a dinosaur! I'm going to wash my hands! Rawr!" and she walked over to her play kitchen roaring the whole way.


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## Lazurii (Apr 1, 2011)

Last Sunday BuggaBoo was naked (of course) and playing with his scrotum. He's been very interested in his testicles lately. So he says, "Mommy, when I get to church I'm going to show my teacher this." I replied with, "What, your testicle?" He said, "Yeah, maybe she'll say, 'cool'."

A while ago I was putting a diaper on Doozer and BuggaBoo asked why. I said, "Well, because she likes to pee everywhere so if I don't then I suffer the consequences." He said, "Or the POOPequences!"

My sister asked BuggaBoo a question, he answered, and she asked, "Why?" just to get back at him. He yells, "YOU DON'T SAY WHY TO ME!" and then calmly added, "Are you three?" See, my MIL told him only three year olds ask why.

ETA: He just gave me another one. He just finished a big pile of blueberries. He comes up to me and asks, "What does my breath feel like?" He then proceeds to crouch down and breath on my shin. I said, "OOooo, nice and warm!" He replied, "No, Mommy, it feels like blueberries." Ah, yes, of course.


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## galincognito (Nov 23, 2007)

dd1 was examining my forehead and asked why i had so many stripes on it (ie. wrinkles). she was quite upset that she didn't have stripes on her forehead. i reassured her that she'd have plenty once she had kids.


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## Viriditas (Aug 30, 2004)

Yesterday I walked upstairs into the room where DH was working on his computer and DS was sitting on the bed playing Fruit Ninja on my iPhone. DS is 5, but he has ASD and his language is generally pretty limited to the functional or else directly related to one of his obsessions.

Anyway, it really stank in there, so I said, "Whew! Has someone been making farts up here?" DS was totally engrossed in his game, but DH said, "None at all, why?" I said, "Because it stinks!" DS didn't even look up from what he was doing, but he suddenly said in a perfect, dramatic, movie-trailer voice:

"Killed by a fart!"


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## peaceful_mama (May 27, 2005)

I made 2 giant bowls of popcorn topped with nutritional yeast, butter, and a little salt one night a few weeks ago--DS1 "Mom FINALLY learned how to cook!"

DD, age 2, shoe shopping one late afternoon/evening, we come out of the shoe store "HEY...who turned the freakin lights out?!"

DS2 This morning I was being a little crazy singing "I love bacon' to the tune of the oscar the grouch song....hey, i found nitrate free turkey bacon FINALLY and at a halfway decent like occasional treat price too! He says very seriously "NO, you mean..."I love trash...anything dirty or dingy or dusty" (singing)


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## mamaecho (Mar 31, 2011)

Harry, who is 4, said that he heard the baby (I'm pregnant) singing "Hallelujah, baby!!" in my belly


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## McGucks (Nov 27, 2010)

DS1 (who will be 16 in September!) has a famous quote and story. When he was around 3 1/2, he wanted to follow me into the bathroom. Since I had to do something complicated, I said, "No, honey, mommy needs her privacy" and gently shut the door. Commence business...about ten seconds later, he plowed through the door and very firmly announced "I AM YOUR PRIVACY!" And indeed he was.

We also used to have a pussy willow tree (you know where this one's going). We had lots of retired neighbors, too. He gleefully announced, loudly, one day: "Mom! I climbed up the pussy!" We moved, eventually...

At a recent family beach trip, our almost 4 year old nephew was in the bathroom pooping. Since he is still new to the whole potty business and his parents were not around, I asked him if there was anything I could do to help him. He yelled "Yeah! You can shut the freakin' door!" Nice.

ETA: DH reminded me that the nephew's exact quote was "Yeah! You can shut the freakin' door, dam*it!" I forgot.


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## mommy212 (Mar 2, 2010)

Today we were hiking through Blanchard Springs Cavern, and we pass by a large formation where it is obvious a huge chunk of the middle broke off and slid time a long time ago. DS (22 months, and only says 10 or so words) goes "uh-oh" and points at it. My mom and I burst out laughing. From then on he points to all the other slides/broken formations and says "uh-oh"


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## Siouxsie (Jan 22, 2011)

When my son was about 8 years old I had him come into the ladies room with me at a department store. While I was in the stall he goes "mom I don't think we should shop here! This place is a rip off!" "why?" "They're charging 25 cents for a napkin!" (the sanitary napkin machine!!) He says" Who would be dumb enough to pay for a napkin when they have paper towels right here for free?!"


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## Smokering (Sep 5, 2007)

[Background: we refer to going to the toilet as "throoming" in this household. As in, going to the 'throom.] Poor DD currently has a terrible UTI, and has been rather miserable for the past 24 hours. I was going to take her out to yum cha for lunch with some friends, but this morning she had a couple of accidents, and I didn't want her wetting herself at the restaurant and being miserable. She was disappointed, but we said she could stay home with DH and have pizza and watch The Princess and the Frog, so she cheered up. When our friends got here they were all like "Aww, is she not coming", and wishing to preserve DD's dignity, I said "No, she's feeling a bit sick". Whereupon DD brightened up for the first time that morning, and shouted out "I might throom at the restaurant, and it might go EVERYWHERE!" She had this really triumphant look. 

Also, this morning our flatmate shaved off his beard while DD was at the doctor. When she got home I was changing the baby's nappy, and she burst in shrieking "K's face is WEIRD! I think it's ANOTHER K!" It took a bit of convincing her that it was the same guy. Hours later she was still stealing glances at him, then bursting into giggles and saying "K's very odd; he shaved his beard off! Very odd!"


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## Dazedstella (Dec 21, 2008)

On a fairly frequent basis when I get out of the shower and have not yet gotten dressed I get comments like "Oh mama you found your 'gina" or "Look mama you still have your butt" to which I always feel the need to respond "Yes, in the excitement of showering I managed not to lose my butt, thank GOODNESS".


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## Lazurii (Apr 1, 2011)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Dazedstella*
> 
> On a fairly frequent basis when I get out of the shower and have not yet gotten dressed I get comments like "Oh mama you found your 'gina" or "Look mama you still have your butt" to which I always feel the need to respond "Yes, in the excitement of showering I managed not to lose my butt, thank GOODNESS".


LOL! I love it when parents answer like this, it just makes it so much more fun.


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## mamarhu (Sep 12, 2004)

When ElderSon was about 8 (he's 30 now), we got our 1st computer. No internet, he had set up a spreadsheet program, and was intently planning how he would spend a million dollars when he won the lottery. I was looking over his shoulder, amused at the piles of catalogs, columns of figures, when he looked up and said, "Mom, accounting is not a spectator sport."


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## Mummoth (Oct 30, 2003)

Yesterday, the kids were playing Little Big Planet, and DS and I had this conversation:

DS: We're doing the terratortals!

Me: Terratortals... what's that?

DS: You know... when it teaches you stuff.

Me: Oh, tutorials!

DS: Yeah, terratorals... they're fun.

Me: Do they have one for pronunciation?

DS: What?

Me: Never mind.

Smokering, that's funny about the beard! My dad had a beard my whole childhood and so my sisters and I never saw the lower half of his face until we were in our twenties. My youngest sister still lived at home, but was out the night he shaved it. When mom heard her get up in the morning,s he called her into their room to look at him. Her first thought wasn't "Oh, dad shaved his beard." it was "Oh my God, mom's in bed with Uncle Alan!!"

ETA: I can't believe I forgot this one... this morning DH and I were talking in our room downstairs. Ds came to the door and asked if we were talking about something that we HAD been talking about a few moments earlier. I asked "Were you eavesdropping?" and he offendedly answered "No! I was listening from my room!"


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## Greenlea (Apr 21, 2010)

My Aunt & Uncle's baby died when she was almost 1. About 2 yrs later they had another baby, and told her when she was older that they really needed to focus on having another baby after their first one died. A couple nights later my aunt & uncle were in their room with the door closed, and my cousin knocked and asked "mom, are you guys focusing in there?"

When I was in junior high I had my friend over. My younger brother, who was in grade school at the time came into my room and said something stupid. My friend told him that he was so conceided. To which he replied "no Im not, I never went to college."


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## Abvnx (Jun 10, 2010)

When we go to visit my family, DH likes to take the kids(niece and nephews) out side to play. Our niece(6yo) and DH have a game where, she will climb up to DH's shoulders and he swings her around in circles and flips her, she starts climbing him again. She calls it "gymnastics training".


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## JudiAU (Jun 29, 2008)

A day before she turned 2 another parent was cooing and making baby talk to her. LIke she was an infant. My 4 year old poked her and turned to him said

"[His name] I don't like it when you touch me that way. Stop it."

And the woman stomped off as if she was offended. By my toddler's verbal skills.


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## Ma Cactus (Mar 11, 2011)

Whenever our 20 month old boy walks into a room with its lights off at night, he says 'Mama! Dark off!


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## leam811 (Jan 1, 2010)

newly 2 yo DD, while sitting on toilet: "I have penis!"

nooo, you're a girl - what do girls have?

"Vulvas."

Then, with a sly smile..."Girls have....penises!"


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## Ravensong13 (Sep 28, 2009)

My dd (3) likes to point out all the time that I have breasts( she calls nipples) and she doesn't, but will when she is older.

The other night before bed I gave her her vitamin and she says, ' Mama, someday I'll have big nipples like you and then I will give you the vitamins!'

We had seen the new Winnie the Pooh movie a few weeks ago and dd brought it up the other day, ' Mommy, remember when we saw the pee and the poo movie? I liked that one!'

She also sang the alphabet for the longest time, '... h, i, j, k, and a little pee...'


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## cyclamen (Jul 10, 2005)

woops


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## cyclamen (Jul 10, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *leam811*
> 
> newly 2 yo DD, while sitting on toilet: "I have penis!"
> 
> ...


learn811, my barely 2yo and I had this conversation yesterday.

DD: I have vagina! You have vagina?

Me: Yes.

DD: Daddy have vagina?

Me: Nope.

DD (thinks for a moment, then gets the biggest smile on her face like she knows the answer): Daddy have PEANUT BUTTER!


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## Lazurii (Apr 1, 2011)

Last Christmas we were visiting family. BuggaBoo wanted to nurse, but so did Doozer. I didn't feel like nursing both of them at the same time so I was just nursing BuggaBoo. Doozer was crying and upset and my BIL asked why. I said she was jealous that her brother was nursing but she wasn't. BuggaBoo popped off my breast and sang, "Peanut, peanut butter, and JEALOUS!" and went back to nursing.


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## HonTownMama (Aug 16, 2007)

You know you live in the city when 6 y.o. Benji asks, "Mama, how many dollars is a house?" Then replies after my answer, "Wow! You mean I have to be homeless and ask cars for money until I have THAT much?"


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## CaraMama (Aug 17, 2011)

Okay, I had to join just to share this:

DS (age 5) woke me up early one morning to tell me his ear hurt. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me he had a piece of popcorn in there. Being a brilliant morning person, I said, "WHAT?" He went on to explain that he had put a piece in the other ear too, but that one fell out. "Why," I asked, "did you put POPCORN in your ears?" Totally straightfaced he said, "I wanted to see if it would get stuck."


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## Super~Single~Mama (Sep 23, 2008)

Quote:
Originally Posted by *CaraMama* 



> "Why," I asked, "did you put POPCORN in your ears?" Totally straightfaced he said, "I wanted to see if it would get stuck."

















Oh boy. This is the reason I'm not excited about my little boy getting older - he's bound to do some of the exact same stuff!!


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## CaraMama (Aug 17, 2011)

Yes, the weirdness increases as they get older. But so does the wonderfulness. Yesterday he brought me breakfast in bed. He warmed up a cinnamon roll in the microwave & brought it in to me as I was nursing DS#2. I think I'll keep him.


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## loraxc (Aug 14, 2003)

Just was looking at DS's baby book and saw these:

"Why do people have heads?"

(While in the grocery store, where I was staring at my choices and trying to decide what kind of hot dogs to buy for a group camping trip...we are vegetarians so he didn't know what they were):
"Are we going to buy some fingers?"

(At the pool) "But where do the lifeguards sleep?"


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## abiyhayil (Feb 8, 2008)

3 y.o. DS "Mommy, soy sauce comes from brown ducks?' (A few weeks after being told soy sauce is different from duck sauce)


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## Veslemor (May 11, 2010)

We live next to a VA cemetary. One morning, a funeral had bag pipes playing. After the bagpipes, the 21 gun salute. My four year old turns to me with a look of concern, and asks, "Mom? Did they shoot the bagpipe?"


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## beckwith (Aug 25, 2010)

We read a book that mentioned the game "Spin the Bottle."

Some time later, 3 yr. old daughter says to her little brother: "Let's play Spin the Bottle!"

2 yr. old brother: "Okay. I'll be the bottle."


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## Jenni1894 (Apr 1, 2011)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *CaraMama*
> 
> Okay, I had to join just to share this:
> 
> DS (age 5) woke me up early one morning to tell me his ear hurt. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me he had a piece of popcorn in there. Being a brilliant morning person, I said, "WHAT?" He went on to explain that he had put a piece in the other ear too, but that one fell out. "Why," I asked, "did you put POPCORN in your ears?" Totally straightfaced he said, "I wanted to see if it would get stuck."


My son put a rice krispie in his ear for almost this same reason. He said to me as I'm getting ready to take him to preschool. Mom there's a rice krispie in my ear. What, how did that happen. With a smile he says I put it in there b/c I wanted to hear it talk (you know snap crackle pop). I look, see nothing. Call DH and see what he suggests......he said to try and get it out. Flashlight tweezers. Well that's great, but I can't see it and I don't want to go poking around a 4 year old's ear with a pair of tweezers. So i call the pedi b/c at this point, I'm certain it's way stuck in there. I explain to DS that this is serious and now he's going to have to miss school b/c we have to go to the pedi to get it out. He's fine and keeps shaking his head b/c he says he can hear it moving around in there. Off I go w/my baby and ds to the pedi. Who looks and doesn't see it. But he found a big ball of wax, which he removed. We figure he put the krispie in his ear, it fell out but dislodged the wax and that was what he heard moving in his ear.


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## Diyabolo (Aug 7, 2011)

Ok, so this a little rude but completely by accident! A little background: My native tongue is Arabic which is what I speak with DD. The Arabic speakers on here should really appreciate this!

DD (now 26 months but at the time 22 months or so) in trying to say "Noss Kom" (Short sleeve in Arabic) pronounced it for a couple of months "Koss Om" which means "Mother F**cker" in Arabic. It was really hilarious when she would just walk around and point at people's short sleeves: "Koss Om Mama," "Koss Om Baba," "Koss Om Khalo." She really wanted to say "Mama's short sleeve" etc. but was actually saying "F*ck You Mama" etc. No matter how much I tried to model the correct pronunciation, she kept on going. Now, at 26 months, she's finally got it right


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## iheartwren (Jun 14, 2009)

Grandma asked DD : " What is your favorite thing about your new baby brother?" Her reply: " His blue eyes and his penis "


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## Angelorum (Aug 5, 2006)

My just turned 2 yo ds has been singing a very abbreviated version of the alphabet lately, it goes like this:

A B C D X-ah Y, now-ah won't you sing-ah me!


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## mamacolleen (Dec 16, 2009)

These are hilarious!

We were eating in a restaurant when DD was about 20 months when I happened to look under her highchair and comment on the mess of dropped food that was there. She looked down at it and then said, totally nonchalantly, "the birds will eat it".

At around the same age, some way too early morning, DH and I were still in bed trying to ignore the fact that DD was wandering around the bedroom fully awake when we distinctly heard her say "f*cking tired" several times in a row. She wouldn't repeat it when we asked her to.

The other day DD, now 2, was sucking on my knee. We had this conversation:

Me: Are you kissing or biting me?

DD (laughing): I'm eating your leg!

Me (mock horror): No! Don't eat my leg! How will I walk after?

DD (deadpan): You can hop on the other foot.

She has also taken to saying "Thanks for dinner guys" when she sits down to eat.


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## Stephenie (Oct 11, 2007)

We were at the store the other day and there were a ton of birds in the parking lot as we walked in. As we walked out, my son, who's four said "Those birds are still around. I can smell them," "Smell them? What do they smell like?" I asked. He thought a moment and said "Sausage."


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