# How do you distract children so you're not interrupted during private adult time?



## wardermom (Jan 31, 2002)

Sort of an embarrasing question, but...We are constantly interrupted. It's a big problem. Because of schedules, we need to have our "adult time" on the weekends during the day, but we're constantly interrupted. Kids just barge in and that is very embarrasing, inconvenient. (It's a wonder we have 7 children!!!) Our 2 yo dd is the worst. She likes to be with Mommy, and she's a big Daddy's girl too. TV and movies don't hold her interest for long at all. Any suggestions for keeping kids busy and out of the way for a little while?


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## 2boysandadog (Aug 12, 2004)

My dh has been known to offer my 5 year old a quarter to keep his little brother happy and stay in the tv room "until we come back" while we, ahem, talk in our room.







Could you pay the oldest to entertain the younger ones for an hour or so (we only go for about 20 min.







at this point) or offer them a trip to the icecream store or cookies after dinner if everyone is quiet and stays out of Mommy's room while ya'll talk for awhile? I rarely use bribery and that's probably why it works in cases like this. I do think if you got them in the habit of letting you have your time for a little while if you did it around the same time every weekend (i.e. after bfast on Sat. or before dinner or whatever) that they'd just get used to it and it'd be easier to manage.


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## IncaMama (Jun 23, 2004)

hm...that's a toughie...it looks like you have an 11 year old and a 10 year old...can they help out by making sure your room is off-limits for a little while? can you tell them that you and daddy need a nap and ask them to help keep the younger ones involved in an activity? snack time? some crafty thing? i wish i had more advice.

oh, and god bless your SEVEN CHILDREN!!!! **faint**


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## EFmom (Mar 16, 2002)

If you find a way, please share it with the group.

I'm convinced that my 7 yo has a primitive neuron cluster deep in her brain that starts firing when mom and dad even think about having "adult time." She wakes up out of a sound sleep at least 80% of the time. Consequently, we hardly even think about it any more as it's not much fun when you are just waiting for them to start knocking on the door.


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## Avonlea (Jan 21, 2002)

I was wondering if you guys had a lock on your door at all? You did not mention one in your OP. If you do not have one, I suggest you get oen of those simple sliding type lock that you can screw onto teh back of teh door . All you need is a drill and in a few moments, voila ! A minor door opening deterrant.

Also, perhaps you could take a small piece of cloth and make a "privacy flag" to hang on the door knob when you guys want to be 'alone'. Let the kids know that as long as the flag is on the door they may not knock ( unless it is an emergancy involving blood or a 911 call, IYKWIM ?). Or a pillow to hang on the doorknob, similar to those " shh baby sleeping' type things..only this one can signal, Go away, Mom and Dad want to be alone now."

I think the 10 and 11 year old are old enough to be able to tend to younger siblings for a half hour a week so you guys can be alone and intimate. I say they can each have a dollar for an hour of younger sibling minding one day a week..does that seem fair to them to? then you save something special for that time..and they and the younger sibs can ONLY have it at THAt time..so they are busy, while you are ' busy'.

Other than that I don't know what to suggest, so far my kids leave us alone. I don't know what the future holds.

Usually we pop in a video or a favorite movie, and they are fine for the 15 minutes we need..lol.


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## UnschoolnMa (Jun 14, 2004)

I would suggest a fun movie or something as well. We've never had that issue. We just say "We are going to our room for a little bit... holler if you need anything." We have a knock and wait policy so we haven't been interrupted since they were wee ones.


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## momto l&a (Jul 31, 2002)

nak

we do a movie and a lock


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## Red (Feb 6, 2002)

"How do you distract children so you're not interrupted during private adult time? "








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## wemoon (Aug 31, 2002)

You say adult time during the day.... why can it not wait until night or early morning hours when everyone is sleeping? Once having kids, I stopped having sex during the day, well now I don't have sex since I'm single...but you get my point :LOL


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## PurpleBasil (Jan 28, 2004)

How did you conceive the other children? Is this a recent thing (that it's a problem), b/c your schedules have changed?

I agree with EFMom, share if you find the answer! We've considered hiring a babysitter for 20 minutes for 'adult time' but I'm too embarrassed to have the babysitter downstairs knowing she is there so we can have sex. I wouldn't be able to relax.


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## Nurturing Mama (Nov 11, 2003)

You mean parents can have adult time during the day, while their kids are awake?! This never even occurred to me! I couldn't with my little static clinger, but for those who can, more power to you. Sorry I'm no help.


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## chel (Jul 24, 2004)

we call Barney our sex video. Normally we do "it" when dd is asleep. Every now and then 4yr dd will ask if she can stay up late and watch a movie while we "talk". She has been known to put her ear to the door and yell "I can't hear you talking, are you asleep?". dd can't stand a parent sleeping. We always use the lock.
For the OP, I would leave the older one's incharge. Ideally not pay but maybe do it while they all watch TV or eat a snack.


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## Arduinna (May 30, 2002)

we almost always have had sex during the day. either we took advantage when she was playing at a friends or said we were taking a nap. When she was little we waited until she was napping to take advantage of the alone time. Since you have older kids, I'd definately put them in charge, preferably when they are all doing something together.

and yes a lock is a good thing.


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## because (Sep 11, 2003)

Sorry, but I'm a little weirded out by the suggestions to get the older kids involved in the sex plot. 10 and 11 is definitely old enough to know what's going on--they're going to catch on that you're not just talking or whatever. Putting a flag on the door so everyone knows not to bother you? Ew.

As a kid, I definitely would have freaked out about my parents being so obvious.

I see this is a respect thing--respecting the comfort level of the other household members. Imagine years from now one of these kids comes home as a adult with their partner and stays with you for the holidays or whatever and asks you to watch their kids for 20 mintues so they can have "adult time" or they put the old flag on the door...

I'm not sure what the solution is because there are alot of unknowns here (what about when they're sleeping? What about getting them distracted with something and then, WITHOUT drawing attention to it, just sneak off quickly and lock the door?).

Good luck!

(It's funny that people have the problem of "how" to do it... I'm still having the breastfeeding-related problem of "why" to do it... LOL!)


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## zaftigmama (Feb 13, 2004)

I'm insanely jealous that a mom of seven has a sex drive and wants to find time to be alone with her husband. I always attribute it to nursing, but I just have no interest. And now you all know a little too much about me..

What about a babysitter to take the kids out for a walk or to a park for 1/2 hour or so? Or do you have family nearby that can trade some kid-sitting services.

My sister is always willing to help watch the kids if we need some time. But there's something about having a set amount of time, and not having any spontaneity (sp?) that kills the mood.

Wow. Seven kids. And looking for some private time. Go mama!


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## 2boysandadog (Aug 12, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chel*
She has been known to put her ear to the door and yell "I can't hear you talking, are you asleep?".
















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:LOL





















: :LOL

Dunno why, but that comment really got me!


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## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *because*
Sorry, but I'm a little weirded out by the suggestions to get the older kids involved in the sex plot. 10 and 11 is definitely old enough to know what's going on--they're going to catch on that you're not just talking or whatever. Putting a flag on the door so everyone knows not to bother you? Ew.

As a kid, I definitely would have freaked out about my parents being so obvious.

I see this is a respect thing--respecting the comfort level of the other household members. Imagine years from now one of these kids comes home as a adult with their partner and stays with you for the holidays or whatever and asks you to watch their kids for 20 mintues so they can have "adult time" or they put the old flag on the door...

I'm not sure what the solution is because there are alot of unknowns here (what about when they're sleeping? What about getting them distracted with something and then, WITHOUT drawing attention to it, just sneak off quickly and lock the door?).

Good luck!

(It's funny that people have the problem of "how" to do it... I'm still having the breastfeeding-related problem of "why" to do it... LOL!)


I disagree. My mom and my grandparents are that open about sex and it doesn't bother me. I don't see it as a problem.


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## because (Sep 11, 2003)

Quote:

I disagree. My mom and my grandparents are that open about sex and it doesn't bother me. I don't see it as a problem.
Sure, but you're an adult now. Was it at all weird when you were developing your own sexuality? Were you shocked when you figured it all out and realized they do THAT? (I really am really curious, not trying to be snippy).


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## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *because*
Sure, but you're an adult now. Was it at all weird when you were developing your own sexuality? Were you shocked when you figured it all out and realized they do THAT? (I really am really curious, not trying to be snippy).


It's ok







I didn't take it as snippy. Because it was talked about openly in my family, there was never one big shocking moment where I realized what was going on. I gradually added more information as I grew older and understood more, kwim? Like when I was 4, I wasn't like omg my grandparents are having sex! Once I was old enough to know what was really going on, it was just so normal that it didn't bother me.


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## Arduinna (May 30, 2002)

Didn't bother me either, except the one time I walked in and caught them. That was embarassing but I remembered to knock first after that, and I made me sure to use the lock when I had kids.

My parents were really open about sex also.


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