# Let me pick your brain...



## christina10106 (May 11, 2008)

Today I went in for my first prenatal visit. I had to see an OB to do the labs and initial exam so she could sign me off as low risk for a home birth. She did an ultrasound and found a 7 week old gestational sack and no heartbeat. It didn't take her long to announce that our baby had died about a month ago. I don't know if this makes a difference but her machine was very old and the picture was very fuzzy. I have heard before of instances where a mom has been in a similar situation and told the baby has died but then it turns out the baby was actually alive. There is a possibility that our dates are off. I can't say if my intuition is telling me that something isn't right or if I am just in denial, but my question is, have you ever seen this happen? Do you how common or rare it is? I am trying to get further confirmation so that I can be at peace. If the baby is proven to be dead then I plan to use black and blue cohosh as recommended by my midwife. Thanks in advance.


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## BrooklynDoula (Oct 23, 2002)

I don't have an answer for you but I did want to tell you how sorry I am that you are in this position. Lots of love for you.


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## christina10106 (May 11, 2008)

Thanks, I'll take lots of love









I did find a website full of women who have been through this, apparently a tilted uterus can cause the baby to look up to 2 weeks early in the first trimester scan and I am pretty sure that my cycles are really long added with the marginal error of -/+ 4 days with ultrasound (which I think could be off more because of her ancient machine) are all reasons enough for me to just wait and get another ultrasound in a week or two. I am still very interested in hearing from others and very aware that I am probably dealing with a loss. I'm just not ready to let go. Not yet.


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## Beccadoula (Jan 7, 2008)

I don't know for sure what is going on with your situation, but I had a good friend several years ago who was told her baby had died - pregnancy was terminated. Later she found out that the doctor had mistaken the age of the baby and it wasn't ready to have a readable heart rate. This was found out at a later meeting with the doctor - a nurse told her. I would get a second oppinion before taking action, that's all I can say. My friend was so deeply hurt by this loss. Just to be on the safe side, I suggest trying someone else first!


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## mamato3cherubs (Nov 30, 2004)

It is possible that it is a mistake. There is alot of information out there reguarding possible inaccuracy of early ultrasound. And alot of information as to why it should not be used unless truly medically justified.

Did they offer to do bloodwork? A series of tests to check Hgc levels should give a good idea as to if this is a vialble pregnancy.
My close cousin has just recently gone through this exact same thing, unfortunantly hers turned out to not be a mistake, and she did miscarry, but not until after she had found many stories of women who had had misdiagnosed miscarriages and went on to have a full term healthy baby.
She chose to wait it out and let nature take its course, and was glad she did.

If this is an option for you, each person has to decide for themselves what they can handle and what is best for them, I would personally not risk exposing myself to a 2nd ultrasound if I felt there was a chance at a healthy baby. Early ulstrasound, any ultrasound as far as that goes, is not without risks.

I am sending hugs and sticky baby vibes your way. Take care of yourself.


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## christina10106 (May 11, 2008)

I had to basically insist on a second ultrasound. She did not want to order bloodwork and seems to think that my request for a second ultrasound is a bit unreasonable but she agreed nonetheless. I would like to have my hcg levels checked, but I'm not exactly willing to call every OB in town to find someone to do it. I have an pretty bad anxiety problem around doctors, especially OBs. It took tons of courage just to go see the OB I did see. I don't think I can just show up at the lab and say, hey I want my hcg levels checked today and I'll be back in a few days for you to check them again! I certainly wish I could though. I have no problem having blood drawn(except that i clot extremely well). Unfortunately, my doctor feels like her initial diagnosis should be all I need. As far as I am aware, she is the most natural minded OB in the area, and she is actually an hour away. It doesn't seem that we in the south have an abundance of compassionate and reasonable doctors willing to truly listen to their patients. I've heard of people talking about such, I have just never met one. They are always so righteous and pushy and have no time for listening.


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## Contented73 (May 14, 2006)

Just wanted to quickly add that regardless of what is actually happening, there is no need to make any decisions immediately. If it is a miscarriage, then you could wait for it to naturally come out. So really, it doesn't matter what the doctor says. You can just say that you want to wait -- and if you miscarry, it will be a natural miscarriage, which some people prefer over and D&C anyway. If the baby is still living, then by waiting you will see that you still have pregnancy symptoms, etc. Big hugs, I know this is not a fun thing to be dealing with!


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## Maggi315 (Aug 31, 2003)

I agree with the above poster. Please do not feel you need to make a decision immediately. I see this in our community all the time, doctors trying to rush people to take medicines or have a d/c. But we don't do that. Most of our clients want/need time to process it and feel at peace with their decision.

why not request another ultrasound in another week? Or ask to be referred to a better ultrasound place?

since you don't feel at peace with the doctors answer, I wouldn't do anything until you know for sure. You deserve to know that if you take the b/b then it is absolutely the right thing.

I'm so sorry







. Please keep everyone on here updated and let us know what you decide to do/what happens...


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## Charmie981 (May 30, 2002)

I agree that I would probably at the very least wait. If there is a gestational sac but no heartbeat, you'll probably miscarry within a couple of weeks naturally, B and B or not. In a couple of weeks, if it is indeed a viable pregnancy, you should be able to see that on the u/s machine.

Does your midwife have the ability to do labs? I can draw serial HCGs for clients in your situation, usually at much less cost and harassment than an OBs office. If your midwife has a lab account, she may be able to do the labs herself w/o an OB. I agree that poor lab results in conjunction with an u/s where no HB was found is a much better picture than just the u/s or the labs on their own.


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## ecstaticmama24 (Sep 20, 2006)

Well, I have heard of misdiagnosed miscarriages, and I hope that is what has happend with you. I wouldn't take anything or do anything until you know for sure though.

(((hugs)))

On a side note, I don't trust u/s machines that much. My friend was told her baby was going to be born SEVERELY handicapped and so they spent months prepping.. turns out baby was totally fine, no handicap at all. If she was someone who would terminate based on disability, than her daughter would not be here. Gives me the chills.


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## jessica_anne010 (Mar 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *christina10106* 
I would like to have my hcg levels checked, but I'm not exactly willing to call every OB in town to find someone to do it.

When I suspected that I was miscarrying last year I went to my local ER. Told them that I'd had some spotting and was worried. They checked my HCG levels and did an ultrasound to confirm a blighted ovum.

So, go to your local ER (they are usually less busy in the morning if you can get there) and just tell them that you've had some spotting and you're worried. No need to even tell them that you've seen your doctor.


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## christina10106 (May 11, 2008)

I wanted to update, I am getting my hcg levels checked this week, and depending on those results I will have an utrasound next week. I am starting to feel like I have just been in denial about losing this baby. It is just so incredibly painful, my heart is in a million pieces. This is pure agony, I haven't had a decent nights sleep since my doctors appt. I feel like a zombie and am starting to worry about my other two kids. They don't deserve a mother who can't function, but I just can't seem to process this. I just want some time to myself, but that is just impossible. I feel like I'm drowning. I am still eager to get my lab work and second ultrasound, but at this point, I am expecting more bad news. I still have absolutely no signs of a miscarriage, but now I realize how common that is. Much more common then a misdiagnosed miscarriage. I'm just under a huge dark cloud right now. My husband doesn't understand (he told me not to sweat it) and works 80 hours a week, and I have no family or friends in this whole state. Sorry to be so negative, I am glad that at least here I can express my feelings(hopefully).

I thought about going to the ER, but can't stomach the thought of the bill. We are private pay. I even thought about just going to see a different ob, but I really can't handle that (I have pretty bad anxiety towards ob/gyms) and the appt wouldn't be for weeks. The bad thing is, my birthday is next Monday, and that is most likely when I'll be getting the results.


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## jessica_anne010 (Mar 25, 2007)

Many *hugs*!! Try to rest and relax, you are worrying about so many things all at once. I don't blame you for being in denial about a possible miscarriage. Unless I had more definite signs from my body, I would be in denial too! How are your symptoms (nausea, frequency in peeing, breast tenderness) - the same, less, more? That was my first clue that I was miscarrying about a week before I started spotting.


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## VillageMom6 (Dec 2, 2008)

I am so, so sorry that you are going through this, Christina. Not knowing is a terrible state in which to be. Please go easy on yourself. Your children will be okay if mommy seems "off" for a little while. No one gets through life without a crisis or two or ten... and your dear children are learning that it's okay to be sad, that it's important to comfort one another and that people can heal after a crisis.

I hope that your birthday brings you happy news. You are in my thoughts and prayers, hon. ((Hugs))


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## colorclash (Jul 14, 2009)

If you do go to the er, try to see how much it will cost w/ your insurance. I went to the er for this same reason, and it cost me almost $2500, including one visit just to get blood drawn for the second hcg test which cost $700. So please, check w/ your insurance first.


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## Catubodua (Apr 21, 2008)

I'm not sure an HCG level will give you a "real" answer. You test positive on pregnancy tests long after you miscarry.

I wish you the best, and hope she was wrong. However, I do want to reiterate the comment above - either way, you don't need to do anything right now. Your body will take care of things on it's own (either way) in the next few weeks.


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## TonyaW (Dec 5, 2006)

I am so sorry! I just wanted say I would rather be safe than sorry.
I went in for an ultrasound because I was bleeding and found no heartbeat. I was told I was 10.5 weeks, but the baby died at 8 weeks. However after I had a natural miscarriage, the baby wasn't in way decayed so they thought I wasn't as far along as expected. I really was only 8 weeks, which is how I would have calculated the baby due to the date of conception. But the professionals have a funky way of measuring based on the last menstrual period. Thus, I would never have a D&C just in case there was something missed until there was a serious risk.


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## christina10106 (May 11, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jessica_anne010* 
Many *hugs*!! Try to rest and relax, you are worrying about so many things all at once. I don't blame you for being in denial about a possible miscarriage. Unless I had more definite signs from my body, I would be in denial too! How are your symptoms (nausea, frequency in peeing, breast tenderness) - the same, less, more? That was my first clue that I was miscarrying about a week before I started spotting.

I have always had such mild pregnancy symptoms, it's hard to say. I am tired, but I have two very young boys. With my second, I didn't even know I was pregnant until almost 12 weeks because I just have such mild symptoms. My breasts aren't sore or tender, but I'm breastfeeding and they didn't get tender at all with my second pregnancy. I wish I had more definite symptoms. I am blessed with really easy uncomplicated pregnancies. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem like such a blessing right now. I never felt pregnant in the first trimester with my other two boys.


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## christina10106 (May 11, 2008)

Did I mention that I have 5 friends plus my sister who are all pregnant, and due within a month from my due date?


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## Amy&4girls (Oct 30, 2006)

Thinking of you


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## jessica_anne010 (Mar 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *christina10106* 
Did I mention that I have 5 friends plus my sister who are all pregnant, and due within a month from my due date?









Oh that just sucks!







Many, many *hugs*!


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