# Surely, this isn't as insane as my family is trying to make me think it is.....



## rocketgirl96 (Jan 30, 2008)

I can't be the only one....

to have a play yard or baby gate up around the Christmas Tree? My Mom, Dad, and sister are all making me feel like a freak. But my son is 21 months old and into everything. Since the tree is in our family room where we spend most of our time, I think it's safer and better for my sanity if we have the tree protected by the play yard gates. My family thinks this is insane and are giving me a hard time about it. I'm getting comments like "I didn't have to do that when you girls were growing up", "that's part of the fun of christmas - to crawl under the tree" (yeah, right - we have a lot of heirloom ornaments that I really don't want to take the risk of them breaking). And here's my favorite from my childless sister - "none of my friends who have kids have done this"....

Anyway, I am quite comfortable with my decision but I'd feel better knowing that I'm not the only one who does this or has done this when their kids were small.

Thanks,
Christine
__________________


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## Erica09M (Jul 28, 2008)

You're definitely not the only one. And while I don't have one up around ours, I wish we did. As I'm sitting here on the computer, my 18 month old has brought my 7 different ornaments off of the tree and has completely untied the tree skirt and thrown it in the middle of the family room floor.

(but I skipped putting up all of our breakable ornaments this year and went strictly with non-breakable ornaments and no hooks)


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## funkymamajoy (May 25, 2008)

My family thinks the play yard the tree is brillant! My aunt wants one to keep her dogs away from the tree.

When we were little, my parents got table top trees to keep it safe.


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## Teensy (Feb 22, 2002)

I did that one year, so I guess I was insane too!

The one time my tree did topple over, it wasn't my DS's fault (he was in another room with me when I heard the crash), but the timing was particularly bad. The tree fell over breaking glass all over the floor about twenty minutes before a playgroup of crawling babies and toddlers was scheduled to arrive. Man, I never moved or vacuumed so fast.


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## lifeguard (May 12, 2008)

Eh, I'm not even putting up a tree 'cause I don't want to deal with ds getting into it.


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## Mama2Xander (Jul 3, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lifeguard* 
Eh, I'm not even putting up a tree 'cause I don't want to deal with ds getting into it.

Yeah, I'm not doing ours (yet) either... I've been joking that we'll put it up on Christmas Eve, but the kids aren't too pleased about that! Maybe next weekend. Even last year without a baby or young toddler in the house, the tree still got knocked over about 10 times.

OP, I would NOT use any ornaments that you would be upset to lose. Pack them away until your kids are all older. Like, maybe not living at home anymore


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## JBaxter (May 1, 2005)

Do I think its insane no but I do think its unnecessary. I have my 4th son who is 13.5 months and we have always done live trees and never gated them from any of the children. All have been interested and Ive put alot of unbreakable ornaments back on the tree but after a few days of redirecting all is good. Its not a big deal here.


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## mama_ani (Aug 2, 2007)

I don't have a gate around mine - if I did then maybe there would be ornaments left on the bottom half of the tree







but every year I have my tree tied to the wall with fishing line. The fishing line keeps it from falling but _not_ from being robbed of ornaments!

If it was up to me I wouldn't even _have_ a tree up.


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## rocketgirl96 (Jan 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JBaxter* 
All have been interested and Ive put alot of unbreakable ornaments back on the tree but after a few days of redirecting all is good. Its not a big deal here.

Wow! That's great. I redirect and it works for the moment but then he'll continue doing it and I have to keep redirecting. Yes, that's my job







, and I don't mind having to tell him over and over not to touch certain things, but the tree is a different story. See, he knows what he's supposed to touch and not touch, he just doesn't have the impulse control to not touch it in the first place. He'll touch or grab something and then say "uh, uh" and then put it back when I tell him to. But I just can't take the chance with a tree that he'll touch, pull, tug or grab first and then say "uh, uh".


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## rocketgirl96 (Jan 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mama2Xander* 
OP, I would NOT use any ornaments that you would be upset to lose. Pack them away until your kids are all older. Like, maybe not living at home anymore









I wish! Unfortunately, this is not an option. My house is where my whole family does Christmas and unfortunately, there are a whole lot of ornaments that are "special" and that HAVE to go on the tree. Actually, almost all of the ornaments are that way. It would have caused more of a riot to not have those ornaments on the tree than the play yard around the tree caused. There are just too many traditions tied to the tree, unfortunately.


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## Tizzy (Mar 16, 2007)

I'm thinking positively this year and not gating it, I thought for sure with DS1 we would have to do *something* about the tree but really we didn't. He has been very good about it - this is his 3rd Christmas with him mobile.
My MIL insists that she just poked her kids fingers with a pine needle once and they *always* listened after that and she NEVER had any troubles. I find that impossible to believe.
But really, even with two very impulsive children, it's like anything else in the house they are not supposed to touch...they learn.


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## crunchy_mommy (Mar 29, 2009)

I think it must be a funny site! But no, not insane -- we set our tree up in a different room (dining room that is also the entryway) because we spend a lot more time in the living room and didn't want to have to chase DS out from under the tree


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## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

The redirecting thing worked alright for my older two kids, but we had to do table top trees for the last three years due to my youngest son's persistence (and he still managed to knock them over!) and because we didn't have room to gate off the tree. This is the first year we've been able to have a real tree in awhile (he's 4 now). Anyhow, not crazy. A great way to drive yourself crazy is spending a month chasing your kid away from the tree!


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## rocketgirl96 (Jan 30, 2008)

Tizzy;14794294
But really said:


> Well, I guess my son must be in the rebellious terrible two phase already because he does know he's not supposed to touch some things and he does it anyway. He used to be very good when he was younger about not touching anything he wasn't supposed to - but now, I think he's trying to assert more independence and as such is testing his boundaries. Maybe next year, I won't need the gate...here's hoping....


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## rocketgirl96 (Jan 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *crunchy_mommy* 
I think it must be a funny site! But no, not insane -- we set our tree up in a different room (dining room that is also the entryway) because we spend a lot more time in the living room and didn't want to have to chase DS out from under the tree









I wish there was another part of the house we could set the tree up in, but there's not so we have to put it up in our family room which is where we spend most of our time. Also, it does look a little strange but we're going to disassemble the front part of it after DS goes to bed on Christmas eve and so it won't look bad for the pictures on Christmas morning.


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## moondiapers (Apr 14, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rocketgirl96* 
I wish! Unfortunately, this is not an option. My house is where my whole family does Christmas and unfortunately, there are a whole lot of ornaments that are "special" and that HAVE to go on the tree. Actually, almost all of the ornaments are that way. It would have caused more of a riot to not have those ornaments on the tree than the play yard around the tree caused. There are just too many traditions tied to the tree, unfortunately.

So put them up on the tree a few minutes before family arrives.


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## rocketgirl96 (Jan 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eclipse* 
Anyhow, not crazy. A great way to drive yourself crazy is spending a month chasing your kid away from the tree!


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## rocketgirl96 (Jan 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *moondiapers* 
So put them up on the tree a few minutes before family arrives.

Unfortunately, my family lives close by and can stop by anytime. My sister lives down the street! Also, it's a tradition to trim the tree together so the ornaments have to go on the tree.


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## moondiapers (Apr 14, 2002)

Also having the tree up for only a short time makes it easier. This year is the first year in a long time that we put it up earlier than the weekend before Christmas. I always take it down the day after Christmas. So when we had a toddler in the house (this includes daycare kids) the tree was only up for a week tops.


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## moondiapers (Apr 14, 2002)

Oh, and i don't think it's insane, it would just ruin the effect for me...unless I had a gate/pen that was nice looking...like a wrought iron fireplace gate or soemthing instead of a big ole plastic thing.


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## Maedze (Dec 16, 2008)

I did it when my kids were smaller and redirecting was not practical. It's a simple, easy solution that doesn't lead to tears (on part of parent or child!) over-parenting, or broken treasures.

Ignore them and do what's simplest for your family


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## ZTMOM (Jan 5, 2008)

I've heard of lots of people doing this, my Mom even suggested to me that we do it this year because our little guy. Sorry your family is being obnoxious!


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## JBaxter (May 1, 2005)

I will add we tie our tree to a nail placed in the corner. It cant fall on Jack. All the bottom ornaments are the kids ornaments. Soft , non breakable, homemade etc ( have some awesome snowflakes made with elmers clue sparkles and q-tips). There are things that get carried off its not a big deal. We do have a short kneedled tree ( live) Yesterday Jack was trying to put the ornaments back ON he had just taken off.


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## elmh23 (Jul 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rocketgirl96* 
Unfortunately, my family lives close by and can stop by anytime. My sister lives down the street! Also, it's a tradition to trim the tree together so the ornaments have to go on the tree.

Tell them that by having them on the tree, they are risking them breaking and they will be permanently off the tree. My family growing up was very big on the heirloom ornaments and special ornaments we got each year being the first ones up. But we also do Christmas at our house and I have a 5 year old and an almost 3 year old. Everyone is very understanding that we don't put up any glass ornaments because little hands really like to explore them and that leads to them breaking. Heck, as it is, ds has broken 7 wood ornaments since we put the tree up the day after Thanksgiving.

And my MIL is always telling me things that she didn't have to do with her children, that I have to do with mine. I've pretty much decided she's forgotten most of her kids childhood


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## bscal (Feb 13, 2006)

My opinion on this is pretty much my opinion on just about every bit of unsolicited parenting advice I hear:

Unless your family wishes to camp out at your house 24/7 and be 'in charge' of gently redirecting your LO every.single.time he decides to touch one of the tree ornaments then they have zero say in the matter. Whatever the needs and wants of YOUR family is more important that what the extended family thinks.

My own mother is just horrified that we don't put our tree up the Sunday right after Thanksgiving... as we did every year growing up. (And as DH's family did too.) Well, my older DD's birthday is Dec. 4th so we made it OUR family tradition to put it up the weekend following her birthday. Which ends up being today actually. And nope, haven't done it yet. Still need to rearrange the living room a bit and sweep. Oh, well. Anyways, it's OUR family and we'll do what we feel is best.

Beth


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## bmcneal (Nov 12, 2006)

I don't think it's crazy. We have our tree up on a table. It's just easier that way, when there's so much other insanity.


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## Chryseis (Jul 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bscal* 
My opinion on this is pretty much my opinion on just about every bit of unsolicited parenting advice I hear:

Unless your family wishes to camp out at your house 24/7 and be 'in charge' of gently redirecting your LO every.single.time he decides to touch one of the tree ornaments then they have zero say in the matter. Whatever the needs and wants of YOUR family is more important that what the extended family thinks.

Yep. You do what you need to do to save your sanity (and your heirlooms). If the gate works for you then keep it. You shouldn't have to answer to anyone about it.

We've taken a bit of heat in the past from my family about putting the tree up late (2 weeks before Christmas). And I've told them that if they have a problem with it they are certainly welcome to come keep an eye on my kids around the tree! They've relented.









Personally we just go with the no breakable ornaments on the tree thing. Last year my daughter and I also made a whole bunch of clay ornaments that she spent two days painting. We put those on the tree. It really made the Christmas tree very special for her, seeing all of the things that she made. We're definitely doing that this year, too.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rocketgirl96* 
And here's my favorite from my childless sister - "none of my friends who have kids have done this"....

"Only because they never thought of it.







"


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## itsrtimedownhere (Jul 18, 2008)

i think it's a good idea.









we made our tree. it hangs from the ceiling so if it gets knocked, it just swings.







we also don't have any good ornaments on it (because we just don't have any)


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## goodheartedmama (Feb 1, 2007)

After fighting for a few days, DH moved all of the ornaments to the top of the tree. It looks ridiculous. We'll move them back to normal for Christmas morning.


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## mamabutterfly (Jun 23, 2002)

when dd1 was small the tree was in a playpen!







Did look funny but totally worked. The gifts went inside. (At least the playpen was red & white!


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## AbbieB (Mar 21, 2006)

No, I don't think it's ridiculous. Having a relaxed and safe holiday season is way more important than having a magazine perfect vignette. I say hang some child friendly garland on the gates and enjoy.

The Christmas DD was a toddler we only decorated the top half of the tree, now that looked ridiculous!







We tried to have lights on the bottom but DD just kept getting into them and I stopped having the patience to gently redirect so we took them off. Plus the possibility of lead exposure really freaked me out.

This year DS is a toddler and we have a 4 foot tree on top of a table. It looks fabulous and I don't worry about anyone getting hurt.

We also switched to mostly plastic ornaments with strings rather than wire hooks a few years back. They look great (can't tell haey are not glass by looking) and I don't have to deal with cleaning up messes when one gets dropped. Even before kids a few glass ornaments aways got dropped and shattered all over the place.

We still have special glass ornaments. We still use them. They just don't dominate the holiday and the decorating scheme.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rocketgirl96* 
Unfortunately, my family lives close by and can stop by anytime. My sister lives down the street! Also, it's a tradition to trim the tree together so the ornaments have to go on the tree.

So you have to keep your house and the decorations up to your family's standards in case they stop by? This seems ridiculous.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rocketgirl96* 
I wish! Unfortunately, this is not an option. My house is where my whole family does Christmas and unfortunately, there are a whole lot of ornaments that are "special" and that HAVE to go on the tree. Actually, almost all of the ornaments are that way. It would have caused more of a riot to not have those ornaments on the tree than the play yard around the tree caused. There are just too many traditions tied to the tree, unfortunately.

I say let someone else host this year if everyone is so rigid that a tree at someone else's house is going to get their bloomers all bunched.

Sorry if I am coming off a little harsh. I've got my own rigid family holiday tradition drama to deal with and I'm just so sick of it. (Our drama involves extended family not wanting to accommodate the needs of little ones too.)


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## JL83 (Aug 7, 2009)

I don't think you're insane, but you're making the opposite choice to what I chose.

I would much rather teach my child from the beginning what she can and cannot do than adjust all parts of my child's environment.

I would tell my family that this year we weren't doing the breakable ornaments and then parent my child to keep the tree intact.


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## DevaMajka (Jul 4, 2005)

I had a gate up around the tree when ds was little. He was easily redirected, and was decent at following directions to not touch. But still, we had an OLD fake tree (worried about lead) and breakable ornaments. It seemed like a simple way to keep him safe, and keep me from worrying or (potentially) constantly redirecting.
We removed it for pictures and for opening gifts, etc.


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## shoefairy3 (Jun 15, 2006)

our tree is on the lower level of our house where the little ones can't get to unless I take them down there. Otherwise the baby gate thing is a great idea


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## artgoddess (Jun 29, 2004)

If my house were just 10 square feet bigger I would totally put baby gates up around our tree. But since we don't have the room or the $$ to spend on buying gates we put ours up on the train table. Come to think of it before the train table the tree went on another table. I've had table trees as long as I've had kids. Breakables are all way out of reach. We also have the beefiest mac daddy tree stand you can imagine. i don't think *I* could pull the tree over.


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## RiverSky (Jun 26, 2005)

Great idea.

There is so much lead and even mercury in Christmas ornaments, light strings, etc., that a decorated tree can be quite toxic to an inquisitive toddler or baby. Much better to let them look at the beautiful tree from a safe distance, than to always be redirecting and saying "no".









I'm guessing your family has never paid attention to the warning labels on all the Xmas stuff that says to wash your hands after handling due to the high levels of lead. Once you mention it, they might think differently.


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## Anastasiya (Jun 13, 2006)

I've thought about it but never done it.

My kids for the most part have always learned to stay away, though. When they are very little and harder to redirect, I don't use lights or ornaments on the bottom 1/3 of the tree so there's nothing there of real interest anyway.

And we use plastic ornaments. Nothing breakable except cinnamon and glue stars.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Having just read "your 1 to 2 year old" I can say you are 100% right for keeping your 21 month old and the breakables apart.

Because you could work at keeping him away from them and teaching him not to touch, and have him be fairly good at not touching with 4-6 months of constant diligence. Or you could put them up and protect them and then in 4-6 months (or y'know, 12 months) have him be fairly good at not touching with 4-6 days of work.

If you had the sort of easy going kid who only has to be told stuff once, you'd already know it and you wouldn't have thought up your awesome idea.

If a kid isn't ready to learn, it doesn't matter how consistent you are with teaching. They won't learn until they are ready. And you can spend the time between now and when they are ready pulling your hair out in frustration or you can spend it with a play yard around the tree and peace.


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## bebebradford (Apr 4, 2008)

PERFECT idea.. not insane at all! You go mama!


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## LemonPie (Sep 18, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bscal* 
My opinion on this is pretty much my opinion on just about every bit of unsolicited parenting advice I hear:

Unless your family wishes to camp out at your house 24/7 and be 'in charge' of gently redirecting your LO every.single.time he decides to touch one of the tree ornaments then they have zero say in the matter. Whatever the needs and wants of YOUR family is more important that what the extended family thinks.

Seriously. This x1000

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JL83* 
I would much rather teach my child from the beginning what she can and cannot do than adjust all parts of my child's environment.

But this assumes that the child possesses the necessary impulse control to leave the tree alone. Some of them don't. It's something that will mature with time.

As for me and my house, the tree is behind a baby gate in a rarely used room. I have a part-monkey 14 month old who would probably try to CLIMB the tree, let alone yank ornaments off of it. So we take her in for some guided exploration once in a while. In the meantime, I can worry about other things. . . like pulling her off the dining room table or the front of the entertainment center.


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## gaudynight (Sep 10, 2007)

As long as we've had kids we've had a fenced in Christmas tree. My concern isn't so much the breakable ornaments as a horror of a little one pulling a tree over on themselves. Probably unlikely to happen, but why take the risk?

Also, I find Christmas stressful enough without constantly redirecting little hands from temptation.


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## JL83 (Aug 7, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LemonPie* 
But this assumes that the child possesses the necessary impulse control to leave the tree alone. Some of them don't. It's something that will mature with time.

As for me and my house, the tree is behind a baby gate in a rarely used room. I have a part-monkey 14 month old who would probably try to CLIMB the tree, let alone yank ornaments off of it. So we take her in for some guided exploration once in a while. In the meantime, I can worry about other things. . . like pulling her off the dining room table or the front of the entertainment center.









Actually it doesn't assume anything.

Well, I guess it assumes that a parent is willing to take the time to teach and parent their child.

My DD was a complete monkey. So while we had a tree out when she was 13 months and 25 months, we watched her all the time.

Of course she didn't have the impulse control not to touch the tree. It's a year later and she still doesn't. That doesn't mean that she wasn't able to start learning.


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## LemonPie (Sep 18, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JL83* 
Well, I guess it assumes that a parent is willing to take the time to teach and parent their child.

My DD was a complete monkey. So while we had a tree out when she was 13 months and 25 months, we watched her all the time.

Bet you kept your knives and cleaning supplies out of reach, though. How is it really any different?

Just because someone puts up barriers around the Christmas tree doesn't mean they are failing to parent their child. I'd rather not have to worry _constantly_ about her hurting herself with the tree. At some point, she'll outgrow the need to bother the tree (or whatever else I put up/out of reach) and at that point, we'll no longer need the baby proofing


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## JL83 (Aug 7, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LemonPie* 
Bet you kept your knives and cleaning supplies out of reach, though. How is it really any different?

Just because someone puts up barriers around the Christmas tree doesn't mean they are failing to parent their child. I'd rather not have to worry _constantly_ about her hurting herself with the tree. At some point, she'll outgrow the need to bother the tree (or whatever else I put up/out of reach) and at that point, we'll no longer need the baby proofing









I keep small babies safe. In general I do that by wearing them, or by having a safe place to put them like a playpen.

I stop toddlers (the age in question) from serious injury or death. I guess small bumps, scrapes or scary things don't bother me. My 3yo still rides RFing in her carseat because that's actually a real safety thing.

I do think that this sets up an element of not parenting.

Or maybe I'm just not a fan of obsessive baby proofing.

I can't imagine not being the same room as my toddler unless they are sleeping (presumably not in the room with the tree). So when would they get the chance to climb the tree or pull it over?


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## lunita1 (May 12, 2008)

We don't fence our tree. It just hasn't been an issue, partly because we have fairly inexpensive, replaceable ornaments, partly because we used mostly cloth ones when my oldest was little (they're cool beaded gold cloth ornaments made in India that we found at Cost Plus), and partly because we have fairly easy going girls and every time I tried to baby proof something it seemed to make things worse. (When I put outlet protectors into my outlets when my oldest was seven or eight months old, she actually rolled over to the wall (she wasn't crawling yet!) and REMOVED THEM. It's like I had put a chokable object in her reach instead of protecting her from the electrical outlet. What baby does that???)

But you know what I saw today? At the PICU at our local medical center, the tree had a baby gate around it. You aren't alone.


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## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JL83* 

I can't imagine not being the same room as my toddler unless they are sleeping (presumably not in the room with the tree). So when would they get the chance to climb the tree or pull it over?

Maybe when you're taking a poop, or talking to another child, or two feet away from you, but way faster, or cooking dinner, or or or or or. . .I can see so many times when it could happen. Anyhow, I can't imagine always being in the same room with a toddler/young preschooler - not when I have older kids I'm dealing with at the same time. I'd also rather not drive myself of my kid crazy with constant "No"'s.


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## crunchy_mommy (Mar 29, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JL83* 
I keep small babies safe. In general I do that by wearing them, or by having a safe place to put them like a playpen.

How is putting a gate around the tree different than putting your LO in a playpen? Either way they are kept in a "safe" area. They are both forms of baby-proofing. I don't think putting up baby gates means that you're failing to parent/supervise your child! It means you are responding to your child's unique needs and personality by allowing her to explore but setting clear & safe boundaries. Would you also allow your LO to play in the front yard or driveway with no fence, on a busy street? Yes, you'd be right there with her, but she is probably faster than you and could easily get into the street... you'd be much safer playing in a fenced-in area or the back yard, right???


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## Cullens_Girl (Feb 6, 2005)

totally not insane... My oldest (now 5) just can't leave things alone and HE is the reason we have only been putting up a 4 ft tree each year (on a table) He just can't leave it alone and every year he has managed to topple the 6 ft resulting in us taking it down and putting up the 4 ft tree..


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## yarngoddess (Dec 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maedze* 
I did it when my kids were smaller and redirecting was not practical. It's a simple, *easy solution that doesn't lead to tears (on part of parent or child!) over-parenting, or broken treasures*.

Ignore them and do what's simplest for your family









I totally agree with that!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bscal* 
My opinion on this is pretty much my opinion on just about every bit of unsolicited parenting advice I hear:

*Unless your family wishes to camp out at your house 24/7 and be 'in charge' of gently redirecting your LO every.single.time he decides to touch one of the tree ornaments then they have zero say in the matter. Whatever the needs and wants of YOUR family is more important that what the extended family thinks.*
My own mother is just horrified that we don't put our tree up the Sunday right after Thanksgiving... as we did every year growing up. (And as DH's family did too.) Well, my older DD's birthday is Dec. 4th so we made it OUR family tradition to put it up the weekend following her birthday. Which ends up being today actually. And nope, haven't done it yet. Still need to rearrange the living room a bit and sweep. Oh, well. Anyways, it's OUR family and we'll do what we feel is best.

Beth

I LOVE this! This is exactly what I think about extended family!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JL83* 
I don't think you're insane, but you're making the opposite choice to what I chose.

I would much rather teach my child from the beginning what she can and cannot do than adjust all parts of my child's environment.

I would tell my family that this year we weren't doing the breakable ornaments and then parent my child to keep the tree intact.

I have to disagree with your statment. You are telling OP that YOU don't change your child's environment, yet you don't put the breakable ornaments on the tree. I can see making this comment if the OP was putting gates around all the rectangle object in her home, but over a christmas tree? SOME kids don't adapt well to change, and a christmas tree is CHANGE! Does your home Typically have a x-mas tree in it? The x-mas tree is an annomaly to the "normal" home environment for your child. OP is also keeping a tree FULL of glass, heirloom orniments that the family expects to have on there at all times, and a child that is bound and determined to GET to the tree... I would put a gate up too! Not all kids are easily re-directed and not all kids "get it" that no means no, and don't touch is serious. I, infact have 2 boys that re-directing has NEVER worked on them, ever.
I also NEVER put presents under our tree! My kids don't have that impulse controll regarding presents, and I don't expect them to- they are all 7 and under! This is a set of hard lessons to learn! They have to learn not to such, only look, not to play with, to not pull on it, to leave the presnts alone untill some day far into the future that they cannot even fathom. Some lessons are harder for some kids to learn than others.

OP- I applaud your "insanity" because you've found a simple solution that has worked for your family! If only you could find a simple solution for your family's comments....lol! Hope you enjoy your tree and have a wonderfull holiday!


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

For the comments by your family, I think that everytime they get on you about the gate, you should take one of the oh-so-important ornaments off the tree and box it up until next year. If they can't keep their mouths shut about how you've chosen to protect the ornaments, they don't deserve to have those ornaments on the tree.








:


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## monkey-lamb (Jun 4, 2009)

We put our tree in the dining room, which you can see from the living room but is inaccessible because of the gate. You are not crazy! I don't see it as being crazy overprotective of my DD or my ornaments. It's about my own sanity! Also, I can't ask my poor nanny to sit in the room with the tree all day long fighting to keep DD out of it.


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## mort20 (Dec 15, 2009)

We also have a tree inside our house. I don't put play yard gate but I make sure that it won't fall by tying it up on anything with a firm stand. Can't break the tradition, but if it is about my baby's safety, I'm doing what I think is right, with no hesitation.


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## LemonPie (Sep 18, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JL83* 
I keep small babies safe. In general I do that by wearing them, or by having a safe place to put them like a playpen.

I stop toddlers (the age in question) from serious injury or death. I guess small bumps, scrapes or scary things don't bother me. My 3yo still rides RFing in her carseat because that's actually a real safety thing.

I do think that this sets up an element of not parenting.

Or maybe I'm just not a fan of obsessive baby proofing.

I can't imagine not being the same room as my toddler unless they are sleeping (presumably not in the room with the tree). So when would they get the chance to climb the tree or pull it over?

I don't think keeping a christmas tree from falling over on a baby is 'obsessive'. In my case at least, my tree is artificial, and weighs considerably more than a real tree.

I'm just genuinely surprised at some of your statements, such as always being in the same room with your kid. I have a 6.5 yo, a 4.5 yo and a 14 month old. I also have a ranch style house with a large open floor plan. So yeah, my 14 month old is occasionally in another room. For example, her brother's room is maybe 10 feet from the kitchen around the corner, and she might go in there and play with her siblings while I'm making dinner. I can hear all three of them, I pop in once in while to peek at her, but technically she's in a different room.

General babyproofing allows me to take care of all my kids without having to constantly worrying what the baby's into right this second. I can't always take her with me while I help an older kid either. My 4 yo might need help in the bathroom, for instance, and the baby would be climbing into the bathtub or splashing in the toilet or unloading the cabinets or turning on the water the whole time. It's actually LESS trouble to put up a babygate so I can see what she's up to while I help the older kid.

So yeah. . . I don't have time to run around after my baby all day and pull her out of the tree.


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## PurpleFireFlies (Dec 7, 2009)

I think it's a great idea....wish I had tought of it







This will be the first year in many years that I don't have one young enough to pull the ornaments off the tree...infact last year the tree only had lights so my then 3 yr old wouldnt take everything off.

It will be interesting to see how your sister feels when she has children


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## RiverSky (Jun 26, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JL83* 
I keep small babies safe. In general I do that by wearing them, or by having a safe place to put them like a playpen.


Hmmm, either lock a baby in a playpen or put a playpen around the tree and let the baby play freely...I think I'd choose putting a playpen around the tree. The baby deserves some freedom.


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## mbm (Jun 14, 2006)

I cannot imagine anyone objecting to a gate around the tree. Put some paper garland on it if it doesn't seem festive enough. I think it is a good idea!

We don't have one around our (fake) tree only because DD is just not interested (I put all the non-breakable ornaments on the bottom just in case). But if I thought she'd be messing with it all the time, you bet I would put up a barrier rather than continuously expend my energy keeping her away from it.


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## feminist~mama (Mar 6, 2002)

My (then) childless sister insisted that nothing needed to be moved/child-proofed when my DD and I visited, saying "Oh, there's enough adults here! We'll just watch her!"..

She had a little nativity scene on the floor under the tree- ceramic of course. My almost 14-month-old dd was super mobile (walked at 8 months). Somehow the 5 adults present weren't quick enough and she picked up a couple of the "dollls". I saw her and asked her to put them down, which she did- but not before she knocked them together.

Naturally, they broke in a rather dramatic way. My dd wasn't hurt thankfully- and my sister had the nerve to be fairly upset about it!

I think the gate is a great idea if you've got stuff you don't want broken down low!


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## elmh23 (Jul 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JL83* 
Actually it doesn't assume anything.

Well, I guess it assumes that a parent is willing to take the time to teach and parent their child.

My DD was a complete monkey. So while we had a tree out when she was 13 months and 25 months, we watched her all the time.

Of course she didn't have the impulse control not to touch the tree. It's a year later and she still doesn't. That doesn't mean that she wasn't able to start learning.

Is she an only child? With my daughter, who was also 13 months and 25 months at Christmas, I could do that. But with her brother, who was 10 months old and 22 months old at his past Christmases, I've found that my attention is scattered between the two of them and I've found that it's just not as easy as with one child.

PLUS, my first child was very easy going and would actually listen for the most part. The second will listen to you then a second later go after the tree again. It has nothing to do with MY parenting since they've been parented pretty much the same for the most part. It's HIS personality. He will always be my rebel and I am fully aware of this, even though he's not even 3 yet.


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## FiddleMama (Feb 27, 2007)

Taking the time to teach and parent means different things to different people. I'd rather my kids have a safe place to explore freely than have a picture perfect living room.

I'd rather cage the tree than the kid, but that's just me.


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## mom2reenie (Nov 14, 2006)

We put a gate up around the Christmas tree when DS1 was 7 months old. He was a monkey. The gate didn't really stop him from getting into the tree, just gave him another obstacle to get around before I could stop him.

I tended to think babyproofing meant poor parenting when DD was little. I babyproofed the house and dd wouldn't get into anything that she wasn't suppose to--point for me and my great babyproofing. Then I realized that we'd go to the in-laws, they'd have a bowl of m&m's sitting on the coffee table and DD wouldn't even touch them, so it wasn't my parenting after all, just DD's personality. Then I had DS1 and realized that babyproofing just meant that I was giving myself sixty more seconds to get him out of wherever he wasn't suppose to be (pulling plugs out of sockets, figuruing out how to open the cabinet locks, climbing over the baby gate, climbing onto the coffee table, etc). I invested a lot of money for that extra 60 seconds. I'd take him into the bathroom with me, be mid-pee and he'd bolt out of the bathroom and be manuevering the gate away from the Christmas tree so he could go pull on the branches before I'd get a chance to put those kegel muscles to work, so i'd hate to think of what he could do if we didnt' have the baby gate there (we also had a baby gate surrounding our tv). DS2 is just like DD. He touches it and will take an ornament off, but only if it's already dangling from where DS1 played with it.


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## octobermom (Aug 31, 2005)

I kept our tree on a table for DD "toddler' years it was jsut easier Christams decorations are sosposed to be find and chasing a toddler off the blinking lights to me is not fun.







.. Nw I was also lucky and had a pretty mellow kid where I jsut had to say no no honey just look and all was pretty much left alone but I still set up for success







.
Next year our newest will be around 9 months at Christmas time depending on where she is moving wise I'll totally gate the tree if necessary.

Deanna


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## Jennifer Z (Sep 15, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JL83* 
*I keep small babies safe. In general I do that by wearing them, or by having a safe place to put them like a playpen.*

I stop toddlers (the age in question) from serious injury or death. I guess small bumps, scrapes or scary things don't bother me. My 3yo still rides RFing in her carseat because that's actually a real safety thing.

I do think that this sets up an element of not parenting.

Or maybe I'm just not a fan of obsessive baby proofing.

I can't imagine not being the same room as my toddler unless they are sleeping (presumably not in the room with the tree). So when would they get the chance to climb the tree or pull it over?

First, IMO, wearing them and putting them in a playpen is actually more babyproofing and limiting to the child than making the environment safe for them is.

Second, if you have a child with an extremely persistent personality or poor impulse control, you can redirect all you want, but it isn't going to ever change the fact that they will keep going after the tree until they are old enough.

Third, the idea that you can always be within arm's reach only works when you have one child. And arm's reach really isn't close enough to keep super persistent and curious kids out of things all the time. Some kids are more passive, but some of us were blessed with children who make our days feel like we are trying to contain lightening while herding cats.

A part of parenting is making decisions that help ensure a safe and happy household so you don't have to spend every second of the day redirecting them and just letting them explore within appropriate boundaries.


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## northcountrymamma (Feb 24, 2006)

continue to be strong and assertive mamma...
if the choice to put up a gate around your tree brings you and your child comfort and ease, then leave it in place and tell your extended family just that.

In the meantime...teach your little one to sit and admire the tree, sit together and enjoy the beautiful ornaments and talk about what they are and why they mean so much to you and your relatives. By simply creating special moments to treasure the tree, your child will learn to respect it's part in your home for many years to come. Because even restless pre-schoolers can knock over trees or accidently knock ornaments off...and you likely don't want to baby gate the tree for too many years (family comments can wear on us all!)

ETA: about putting the babe in a playpen...my initial reaction to the post was "better the tree than the kiddo".


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## veganone (May 10, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *FiddleMama* 
Taking the time to teach and parent means different things to different people. I'd rather my kids have a safe place to explore freely than have a picture perfect living room.

*I'd rather cage the tree than the kid, but that's just me.*









Exactly this. I think if anything on this thread is "not parenting" I'm going to have to go with putting the baby in a playpen rather than putting a gate around the tree.

Our house is basically toddler-proofed. It's also a large ranch. DD wanders into the living room when I'm in the kitchen all the time. I love knowing that she's safe even when out of eyesight.

I'd also much rather keep things I don't want her playing with out of reach than telling her "no" all the time. I want her to explore her environment - the last thing I want to do is discourage that.

FWIW, my nativity collection is up on a shelf, well out of her reach. I have the study wooden one where she can reach it.


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## Peony (Nov 27, 2003)

I put all breakable ornaments high above the younger children's reach, the bottom of the tree is all decorated with soft ornaments. It makes for an uneven tree but eh.


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## artgoddess (Jun 29, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *veganone* 
Exactly this. I think if anything on this thread is "not parenting" I'm going to have to go with putting the baby in a playpen rather than putting a gate around the tree.

Our house is basically toddler-proofed. It's also a large ranch. DD wanders into the living room when I'm in the kitchen all the time. I love knowing that she's safe even when out of eyesight.

I'd also much rather keep things I don't want her playing with out of reach than telling her "no" all the time. I want her to explore her environment - the last thing I want to do is discourage that.

FWIW, my nativity collection is up on a shelf, well out of her reach. I have the study wooden one where she can reach it.

I have an awesome wooden nativity the kids can play with.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...679&highlight=


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## confustication (Mar 18, 2006)

Our tree is in the kitchen. We have a gate at the entryway into the kitchen and DS 1 spends most of his time in the livingroom.

Also, we are only using unbreakable ornaments this year- and for the forseeable future. With one child, and when I was a SAHM I didn't gate it at all- but, I have three kids, and DH is the SAHP. The gate is a must for all of our sanity.


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## onyxravnos (Dec 30, 2006)

either that or only put up non breakable stuff on the tree until your LO is older. your not insane.


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## meisterfrau (Sep 24, 2005)

I actually think it sounds like a fine idea. Christmas light strings are a known lead poisoning hazard. Most of them are also cheap and shoddy, and probably an electrical shock risk too. Thus, just taking the breakable ornaments off the tree isn't much of a solution.

I don't think it's "not parenting" your child if you don't have the leisure to stand sentinel over the Christmas tree every moment your kid is awake.


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## octobermom (Aug 31, 2005)

Yea I kinda had to giggle over the idea that "gating" or child proffing a Christmas tree equaled ovely obssessing over changing ones enviroment.First off up untill now we've had only one child (and will for one more Christmas) so yes techinally it was just me watching her and I didn't even had the overly persistant climber toucher (luck) yet in out TINY apartment it would take her a split second to be into possible danger say with a tree. So unless I literly attached her to me ALL day which she deffiently did not like and killed my back or put her in a play pen all day which incidently was one of her favorite places







but I think she'd object to all day... then it meant some degree of child proofing. Yet if you saw our home in those days you'd quickly realize we hardly did extrem baby proofing We had computers and there wires right in the living area TV and steroes with lots of exposed buttons all cabinets except one could be opened and we basically had a lock on the one that did because the doors would pop open with out it







.. I mean yes we didn't put breakables out on side tables we made sure the windex and drano were on high shelfs outta reach and for a spell I removed the knobs from our gas stove but really we have the same setup now at age 7 (but new home) and no need to baby proof as we did then. Still we made the tree safe.









Deanna


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## finn'smama (Jan 11, 2006)

OP you're totally not insane. Perfectly reasonable. I don't gate my xmas tree, but I do have a fence around my yard!
And I don't believe anyone who says they're in the same room all the time every minute of every single day with their toddler.


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## mommajb (Mar 4, 2005)

One year a friend of mine used all the packing boxes and bins she had stored the ornaments in to create a barrier around the tree. It all made complete sense to me.

I made gingerbread cut outs one year for ornaments. The house smelled wonderful and I didn't expect them to last long enough to pack away. Good thing as my sneaky kids ate the gingerbread men one limb at a time.









We adapt because we can and when we are paying attention we take on only what we can cope with so that we can give our children sane mommas for the holidays.


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## tessie (Dec 6, 2006)

I think it's a great idea and if we had the room (and something to fence it in) I'd also do it.

I'm just not bothering with a tree because I have a climber who will want to be the fairy on the tree. It was bad enough when we went to visit Santa. She did a runner with one of his baubles and we were only there 5 minutes.


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## isabchi (Sep 14, 2006)

I think that's very clever of you to put a gate around the tree.








They probably would don't say nothing if you put tha gate around the baby


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## Peppermint Poppies (Jan 7, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tessie* 
It was bad enough when we went to visit Santa. She did a runner with one of his baubles and we were only there 5 minutes.

















DS did this too!!


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## DevaMajka (Jul 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jennifer Z* 

Third, the idea that you can always be within arm's reach only works when you have one child. And arm's reach really isn't close enough to keep super persistent and curious kids out of things all the time. Some kids are more passive, but some of us were blessed with children who make our days feel like we are trying to contain lightening while herding cats.











I have a feeling that ds2 is going to be like that.


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## Katsmamajama (Jun 24, 2009)

I know of parents who have put the tree up IN a playpen, to keep the kiddies out of it! FWIW, I agree with the PP who said that if your family doesn't want to sit there and guard the tree, and redirect your LO, then they need to be quiet. At least a gate can be taken down as needed for photos or whatnot, or even only put up when your LO is in the room if seeing it bugs you.

I got off lucky with both DD's-- DD1 was 8 months and crawling at Christmas, and didn't really notice the Christmas tree set up behind the edge of the couch. But I had a back-up contingency plan to block off the Christmas tree in the corner of our living room with a couch and my desk if needed to keep her away from it! Thankfully, she didn't really notice until Christmas Eve, so we did a cutesy photo shoot, redirected her, and took the tree down the next afternoon. This time, DD2 is a whopping 3 weeks old, so she could really care less about the tree.


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## KristyDi (Jun 5, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rocketgirl96* 
I can't be the only one....

to have a play yard or baby gate up around the Christmas Tree?


Nope

Those who think that enough re-directing would keep a tree safe don't know my DD. Seriously. On several occasions, I have spent literally 45 min or longer constantly re-directing my dd away from opening the dishwasher and climbing on the door. I redirect her until I physically block the door, which results in her standing in front of the dishwasher howling while yanking on the door trying to open it. FUN! I still have trouble keeping her off it. She's smart, she's quick and she's stubborn.

We had the same issue with the DVD shelves. Those now live in DH's office, where DD can't go. The dining room table was also a problem, so now the chairs stay on their sides when not actually in use.

Sure I _could_ replay that scenario with the Christmas tree from now till Christmas, but why? I'd much rather gate the thing.


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## rocketgirl96 (Jan 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KristyDi* 

Those who think that enough re-directing would keep a tree safe don't know my DD. Seriously. On several occasions, I have spent literally 45 min or longer constantly re-directing my dd away from opening the dishwasher and climbing on the door. I redirect her until I physically block the door, which results in her standing in front of the dishwasher howling while yanking on the door trying to open it. FUN! I still have trouble keeping her off it. She's smart, she's quick and she's stubborn.


Yes!Yes!Yes! My son is the exact same as your daughter!







Love that picture!


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Really, it's like those harness backpacks. You can use them and have the child get 5-10ft of safe exploring space as you go for walks, or you can make them hold your hand all the time, or you can make them hold onto the stroller and get put into the stroller if they let go for an instant. Those harnesses are "bad/lazy parenting" in some books too.

When did our society (as represented by your relatives RocketGirl) get the insane notion that quality of parenting is directly proportional to the number of times a parent says "no"?


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## mommy2one0326 (Jul 4, 2008)

I've heard of moms doing that before.


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## alacrity (Oct 25, 2008)

Hehe. I have a 13 month old and babysit several toddlers. I put the tree on the train table and no one touches it. They play with their cars, trucks, and trains on the train table under the tree.

But I can't see making fun of someone for taking extra precaution. I did joke that "I put up a festive winter tree now I need a festive winter electric fence."


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## finn'smama (Jan 11, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
Really, it's like those harness backpacks. You can use them and have the child get 5-10ft of safe exploring space as you go for walks, or you can make them hold your hand all the time, or you can make them hold onto the stroller and get put into the stroller if they let go for an instant. Those harnesses are "bad/lazy parenting" in some books too.

When did our society (as represented by your relatives RocketGirl) get the insane notion that quality of parenting is directly proportional to the number of times a parent says "no"?

I think it's more the idea that you're a great parent if you only have to say no once, and your kid listens.







The thing that people forget when they're judging other parents' techniques is that all kids are so different. My kids don't touch the Christmas tree really, has nothing to do with my parenting skills, they just aren't interested. So I don't need a gate around the tree. My first was a bolter and it didn't matter what I did or how much I redirected, he did not want to stick by me, so I put a fence around the yard. Doesn't make me a bad or lazy parent, just smart


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## Eclipsepearl (May 20, 2007)

I agree. I live in France and French parents are not very safety-conscience. They're really into the word "no". They're constantly scolding their children. I find it irritating and my American ears get tired of hearing it over and over. Whenever I recommend something like "Why don't you put it away?" or "Maybe he's not yet ready for..." I hear them screach "...but he must LEARN!" For crying out loud, they still have time...

This is culturally considered "good parenting" in France. With a very active child, I find they are fighting the child's basic personality and instincts. Two little girls we know are very active and their moms are exausted dishing out their constant tirades. My sister-in-law used to call my mother-in-law in tears over something her dd had done. This can't be a pleasant way to parent!

I'm happy to hear all this support for the OP. I wish I had thought of that! We don't have an X-mas tree but my parents do and I remember walking in the door and we knew it would be a challenge with my oldest as a toddler. If I had thought of it, I could have simply asked them to borrow a baby gate and we would have had a more relaxed holiday. We could have just removed it for the photos and present opening.


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## AbbieB (Mar 21, 2006)

mommajb said:


> ... Good thing as my sneaky kids ate the gingerbread men one limb at a time.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## mamalink4 (Feb 17, 2009)

This year I have a very "touchy" 4 year old, a very "push the limits" 6 year old and a "I don't have to listen to you" 2 year old and our kitten who still has her front claws and tries to climb our tree, so the only decoration on our tree this year is silver and red garland. We decided not to mess with the other ornaments that couldn't be replaced as easily. It's very pretty and clean. If my living room was bigger I would have loved to gate it off, at least from the kids. It just doesn't seem the same without my decorations made from christmas' past by my older kids. But for now they are just safer in storage in the basement.


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## EviesMom (Nov 30, 2004)

You're not the only one! I think some people gate off the whole room, but we have a tiny living room. Last year we gated off the tree. This year, we used wires to attach the tree to the wall so it can't tip over, but no gate. The youngest is old enough to touch lower hanging, non-fragile, ornaments but I would worry about climbing attempts.

As for "we never needed to" comments, my parents never did these things, but my younger brothers nearly pulled over a tree twice that I recall, and actually pulled it over once, and I'd like to avoid that!


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## beckyand3littlemonsters (Sep 16, 2006)

if i had one i would


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## Bekka (Nov 20, 2001)

My mom said she put up the Christmas tree in a playpen before--then garlanded the edges as well (must have been for baby me, because I don't remember this...).


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## Maedze (Dec 16, 2008)

The year my brother was two, my father drilled 17 holes in the ceiling to find a stud, put an eyehook in the ceiling and wired the tree to the ceiling.


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