# First Menstruation Blessingway



## kanpope (Mar 12, 2003)

Dd is at the cusp of womanhood and I would like to begin gathering information for her first menstruation blessingway. I do not want it to be a scary time for her. I want her to feel blessed and ushered lovingly into womanhood. Does anyone have any resources for ideas, etc. for this type of blessingway?
TIA!
Nicole


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## firespiritmelody (Oct 13, 2005)

:


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## ewins24 (May 16, 2006)

I saw a few things on the internet when DD started her period but it just didn't "feel" right for her. I just googled first period and found a few things, if I remember right (its been 3 yrs) I saw a kit on a glad rag website that had a few things in there to celebrate it with her.

So all that said what I did was when she first started (of course we had talked all about it before hand) I hugged her and told her I was happy for her and that it was bittersweet for me (b/c she was growing up). Then I made a date for just her and I. We went to her favorite resturant and had a lovely time where I gave her a necklace. The necklace was just something pretty for her and it was more grown up than I'd ever given her. We also went for a manicure but you could even do this at home with her we went out so it was just us.

She says that she really enjoyed what we did and she was glad that I made such a big deal about it b/c she didn't feel like it was gross or dirty. I never ever wanted her to feel dirty/gross about it b/c thats the way I felt when I started. My Mom ran away from me crying!








I also thought I was dying b/c I didn't know a THING about periods.

Anyway, I just made it our own for us.


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## mummy marja (Jan 19, 2005)

I have some ideas, although dd is only 5. I'd like to collect letters from her aunts, grandma and close women friends. They would be personal love letters to her, maybe telling about getting their first periods. I would put those letters into a box, along with pads (cloth and regular) a diva cup, tampons, a bit of everything so she can try them all and choose. Also, a hot water bottle and a cozy blanket. I would probably also take her out or do something just the two of us--or, if she would like to include her friends we would.


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## mother_sunshine (Nov 25, 2001)

Beautiful thread.









For when my daughter begins her journey, I have a stash of soft cloth moon pads in various sizes, fabrics and prints (and by different wahms) so she will hopefully find what's right for her. I have a large zippered wetbag to store them in, a medium wetbag to stash used pads in at home, and a small zippered wetbag to use at school. Hopefully I've made it enticing and easy enough for her to use cloth. I've already shown her some, just to prepare her, and she is positive about the idea.









And I plan to get her one of these books....
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/097...u-wl_mrai-recs
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/157...u-wl_mrai-recs
http://www.amazon.com/Seven-Sacred-R..._bxgy_b_text_b
I can't decide which. Has anyone read any of these?

and here's a book of ideas just for us...
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/097...u-wl_list-recs

We will celebrate, just the 2 of us probably, but I'm not exactly sure how yet. I think I'd like her to decide. I love the idea of letters from women in the family.


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## SabraMamma (Nov 20, 2001)

:

my DD is only 7.5 but she is showing early signs of pre-puberty (seems too young!)


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## Breeder (May 28, 2006)

One suggestion, don't tell a bunch of people about it. I got my period and my mother told everyone. She was so proud of me, growing up.

I was mortified and felt my privacy was totally invaded. She called her best friends, my aunts, my grandmothers, etc gushing about me "becoming a woman".

I never thought my period was gross, but I did feel like it was a personal thing and I wished it had been between just us.

BTW: love the manicure, necklace and multiple options of pads, tampons and diva cup. I wish someone had given me the option of a diva cup from the start.


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## deethai (Jan 15, 2008)

Whatever you do, try to make sure you are in a position of open communication about menstruation or other sexual issues before your daughter might get her period.

When I got my period I could not tell my mum or anyone about it, the problem with that was I had no own money to spend on female hygiene products. I ended up not going home after school anymore and going to friends houses, using their sanitary pads and being terrified of going home. I was already 15 or so at the time, too.
It took over a week until I could come up with the courage to ask my mum to buy me some. It was seriously like trying several times to walk into the room with the intention of saying something and not being able to. I ended up asking her on the phone from a friends house if she could buy me some. It was a very terrible and embarrassing time. Even after she bought me the pads I was too ashamed for years to throw them into the bathroom bin, I hid them in my wardrobe and it started to stink and I took them outside in my backpack to dispose of in bins on the street. I did the same when I was on a school exchange in France, I would have never been able to throw them into the bin in the families house, I took them outside.

It's very sad to think about that time and I don't know how a parent can end up bringing up a child to be that ashamed of her period and other intimate things in general. Everything like that was not talked about as if it didn't exist basically.


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## mother_sunshine (Nov 25, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *deethai* 
It was a very terrible and embarrassing time.


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## Jyotsna (Sep 24, 2004)

I would have really enjoyed a RED party with girl friends and their moms. I hope that when the time comes, that my daughters will be into the idea of a red party. But if they aren't we will definately do something special, such as a special necklace, or a special dinner with a couple of friends who have already started their period.

I hated those bulky pads and hip garters that went with them when I started in the 1970's. I wil definately help my daughter find something suitable before they start.

In fact, all three of my kids know what puberty entails for boys and girls. My son is in puberty right now, and one of my daughters is apparently in early puberty. We may be seeing RED within a year or two here.

Congrats for you and your daughter!


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## caudex (Dec 7, 2007)

Just make sure she WANTS a party, etc.

I was not embarrassed, had not been made to feel like it was bad or dirty, just a normal bodily function. But I didn't particularly want my period, and when it finally showed up at age 14.5, I didn't want it acknowledged. I was furious that my mom even asked me if it was happening so she could show me where she kept her things, or for any reference she made to it thereafter. I wanted to just deal with it with as little fuss as possible, but then, I am really anti-fuss in general and reluctant, even at that age, to think that a biological function makes me any more of a woman one day than I was on the day before. Yeah, I was a bit of a cynic.









I'm sure I'm a pretty long way from the norm as far as my preferences go, but just make sure she's all for a party or a dinner or whatever you might have in mind. It's a very sweet idea, but make sure it's for her celebration of her growing up and not (just) for you.


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## lovingmommyhood (Jul 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *caudex* 
Just make sure she WANTS a party, etc.

I was not embarrassed, had not been made to feel like it was bad or dirty, just a normal bodily function. But I didn't particularly want my period, and when it finally showed up at age 14.5, I didn't want it acknowledged. I was furious that my mom even asked me if it was happening so she could show me where she kept her things, or for any reference she made to it thereafter. I wanted to just deal with it with as little fuss as possible, but then, I am really anti-fuss in general and reluctant, even at that age, to think that a biological function makes me any more of a woman one day than I was on the day before. Yeah, I was a bit of a cynic.









I'm sure I'm a pretty long way from the norm as far as my preferences go, but just make sure she's all for a party or a dinner or whatever you might have in mind. It's a very sweet idea, but make sure it's for her celebration of her growing up and not (just) for you.

Ditto. Ditto. Ditto.

I got mine in 8th grade... so around 14 and was expecting it. I was just like "alright, whatever" put in a tampon and went about my day. I told my mom and that was it. I've never been ashamed of my body or afraid to talk about it but I certainly would not have wanted a party.


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## Phantaja (Oct 10, 2006)

nm.


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## BirthIsAwesome (Nov 14, 2007)

Here is a compilation of MDC posts, on this topic, off of 3-4 former threads. I deleted some of them and pasted them on Microsoft word for future reference. Sorry--it's long! LOL

Quote:

I've been to several [red parties] and am also planning one for dd. Having both older women and girls there is nice. Red is a big theme of course- jewlerry, blankets, pj's as are veils and thresholds. My friend has made a beautiful jewled halter for their pony and her dd will ride through a veil held up by her friends. Another mama helped her dd over the "threshold" into the ceremony room. Sometimes, the directions or energies of godmothers is thanked. Smudging is sometimes done, it depends on your personal religious beliefs. Letters of wisdom, advice from other women are almost always included. And GOOD food, chocolate and strawberries, red punch, a special "moon time" cake. You could also look at Moon Mother, Moon Daughter. I haven't seen it in person, but it sounds interesting.

when dd gets her moon, we're going to get pierced

she wants to have her cartilage done on her left ear & i'll likely have my rook done. we've planned this out for years, and now that the time is coming closer, we talk about it often.

we're going to play hookie from school that day too, going to lunch in a nice restaurant, shopping at victoria's secret for a bra & panties set & we'll get her mom/daughter manicure/pedicures (she's never had either).

on her lightest flow day of her menarche, we're going to have a ritual that will include her closest friend, one of my friends, and myself. we'll wrap her in a red silk scarf & bead a moon necklace for her while telling her of all that's to come.

she'll have the scarf & the necklace afterward, to do with as she wishes. i've also been saving mama cloth pads for her-picking them up here & there for yrs, so i'll give them to her at that time.

My dd just turned nine this week, but has had a mild obsession with "becoming a woman" for about a year now. We subscribe to New Moon magazine, so I think that started her thinking a bit ahead of her time. But her thoughts are healthy. A couple of months ago I bought her "The Period Book" and she has it memorized. We have talked about it several times, and she has checked out my pads and my keeper, my bras, and my medical books on reproduction, with me, on her own, and with her friends at a slumber party :.

The book talks about celebrating, and she asked me if we would do that. I told her I really wanted to, especially since my mother was like HeatherE's mom. When I shared my experience of telling my mom, my daughter was horrified that my mom would act like that. Then, of course, she hasn't grown up in a household where her father can't assault his manhood by even thinking about periods, or where her mom talks about how horrible getting your period and being a woman is. (My mom used to privately call it "the Curse". Nice, huh).

So I think just growing up in a healthier environment has helped alot. Once, when she was digging around in the cupboard and found some pads, I wasn't home, and she asked dh what they were. He told her something about when you become a woman you have this mystical power that causes you to be able to have babies. It also causes you to be in sync with the moon, and during your moon time you bleed a little from your vagina, but that it doesn't hurt, and that is what the magical part is. The pad was for catching the blood. Now, I was like (?) because I don't refer to it as my moon time, or that it is mystical or anything. I asked him where he got that, and he said "Well, I'm the only guy in the household, and the father of two daughters. I've rehearsed that speech for years. I can't believe I actually got to say it!" What a guy.

Rainbow, they call it moontime, because back in the olden times before electricity, women's cycles would go with the moon. You'd ovulate around the full moon, and bleed on the new moon. There's a whole thread about it in the TTC forum. It's really cool. The moon affects the planet's tides, and the moon affects our own tides.

I would probably do something like another poster mentioned...a special *woman's* dinner where we talk about things etc, maybe let her enjoy a half a glass of wine or something special, maybe let her take the day off from school to relax and take in everything, buy her a nice blouse or something like that she may want in a more "grown up" style etc--just something to mark the occasion in a positive, healthy way!

My daughter was 9 when she started growing breast buds. I took her off of commercial milk (switched to a milk without hormones or antibiotics) and her buds dissappeared. She is 11 now and has natural (her own hormones causing them not artificial from cow's milk with additives) breast buds. When she started growing breasts this second time, I bought her a couple of training bras, one really nice and lacy in her favotire color. She already has 3 different types of deodorant, and sometimes needs it.  She has read several books on womanhood and what to expect from many different viewpoints. I made sure that she knows that a lot of people are uncomfortable talking about it, and that in the past it was very common for a woman to think of her private area and sexuality as dirty or disgusting, and some people sadly still do.

I have also started a wemooning box for her. She knows about the box, but not what is in it. I don't let my girls play with makeup, and when they start getting buds, they can use clear lip gloss and nail polish only. When she becomes a woman she will be allowed colored makeup, and we will go to a friend's house to get a mary-kay makeover (free) and buy her some colored makeup. We (DH & I, she has no clue) are also planning a big fancy dress-up dinner at a local seafood resturant where she will get her very own lobster tail. *smile* (she's never had lobster before, but loves seafood) We will talk about the water in the ocean being affected by the moon, and her new connection to the earth and sky. I will give her her wemooning box as well on this day, and she will likely call everyone in the family to brag. *blush*

In her wemooning box (a large, plain wooden box) right now is:
*A list of websites for budding women printed on fancy paper (including beinggirl.com which is by a pad/tampon company and advertises makeup, but is still a great site nonetheless.)
*A small box of disposable panty-liners
*A carrying case for small tampons, full of the tiniest they make (holds 3 discreetly)
*2 tubes colored roll-on glitter
*3 small colored nail polishes
*2 large disposable pads
*2 meduim disposable pads
*A wood-burning kit, ladybug stencils, paint, & brushes (for decorating the box so she can pass it down to her children)
*2 containers lightly-colored glitter lip gloss
*2 new unfolded cloth diapers (great for travel showers, cleaning house, using as a headband or emergency pad, etc)
I also plan to put in there a couple dozen hand-made cloth pads, same amount of cloth panty-liners, a home-made fancy-paper one-use, no expiration, coupon book (for things like washing your laundry, doing one of your chores for you, an extra hour of computer time, a backrub, I won't ask just this once, etc in it)and a new journal with a fancy pen.

Now, your daughter seems willing to do something special, and that's cool. In that case, I'd do something "grown up" like pedicure day and maybe a makeover at the MAC counter or something (demos are free! bonus!). Serve her favorite foods for dinner & dessert, get her a pretty necklace or pair of earrings, and remind her that no matter how old she gets, she'll always be your baby

Well, my mother had something similar for me - and I was ecstatic.

It was just a fancy dinner with female relatives and my friends. Nothing 'symbolic' per se, just a recognition of an important moment in my life (to me).

I definitely agree with discussing it with your daughter first, but I was over the moon at starting my cycle and joining the women in my family.

Obviously each girl will react in a different way, and have a different outlook on starting menstruation.

As the oldest of five children, in a very open home, my mother and I had many, many discussions re: becoming a woman, menstruation, puberty, pregnancy and childbirth.

I think it is both something that is good to recognize AND something private. Our "white american" culture is sadly lacking in ritual for things like this. My daughters are both older teens now (16 and 18), and this is what we did- when they were born, we did not give them middle names.

When they 'became a woman', i.e., got their first period, they were allowed to select a middle name which we then legalized. They did not HAVE to do it at that exact moment, but they could. My oldest daughter did right away- she chose my middle name and I felt, and feel, honored.

My 16-y-o STILL has not settled on one! She has changed her mind 5 times or so- but she was the one who would spend an hour deciding to get the pink "my little pony" or the purple one, then be convinced once she got home she would have liked the other one better...

One friend I have had a more open celebration, on the beach with some close friends. They did a sweatlodge, told stories, sang some songs & chants, and one really neat idea- B (the mom) and K (the daughter) were tied together with a long, thin thread. They then raced down the beach together, K eventually of couse outrunning, and breaking the thread, with her mom.

Made me tear up when she told me about it- but for our family it was just more private, yet still marked with an important "becoming adult" idea.

I think the idea is that if you treat it as a positive thing it seems more like a positive experience. If we act as if we are "cursed" by menstruation, then it's going to seem like an awful experience. If we act like it's a productive part of life, it's going to be easier to tolerate and seem like less of a nuisance.

I equate it to attitudes about childbirth. If you have the attitude that giving birth is a pleasure, then it's a lot easier to get through the pain

My DD is only two, but I definitely plan to mark the occasion of her menarche. Ear piercing or a special piece of jewelry will be part of the celebration. Even if she is a little embarrassed by it, I want her to look back and realize that menstruating isn't shameful or gross.

"Red Flower" is a book for girls experiencing or coming up on menarche. It has some great positive info about menarche and such. Though I must say I haven't read it in a while....

I have to agree with PPs, my daughter just looked at me (at the suggestion she might consider a menarche celebration) and said "Uh, no....but thanks for thinking of me". At this age girls generally are mortified at the thought of people both knowing they have gotten OR have NOT yet gotten their periods!!! Pretty much anything regarding menstruation is just
WAYYYYY TMI....

OTOH, my now 16 y o DD is totally without shame and happily discusses periods, etc in the presence of her DSF, who is also without shame. Thank Earth! At first it freaked me out a little, but the fact that neither is bothered by the discussion, and in fact welcome the chance to gain understanding made me relax about the whole thing.

Good for you! Yes, honor this occasion! I think it can be done without embarrassing the heck out her too.

My daughters are 2 and 6, but I have imagined taking them out to eat at a nice restaurant and giving them a special piece of jewelery (something like Greenlee's wonderful pendant .

It really all depends on the girl. What does she like? A day at a spa? Getting some beautiful henna/ menhandi? What ever will make her feel special and show that it is a beautiful exciting day.

Here is an article that you might like to read.

My dd is only 7, but I started my cycles when I was 9 so its not too far off. I plan on pulling together a basket, with books about whats going on with her body, fertility, health, ect, Some nice bath products, Several different options of protection (cloth pads, disposible pads, junior tampons, ect), and a calender or set of cyclebeads. She is already so excited that one day she will grow breasts (for nursing babies as well as looks), and that her body will develop so that she can have babies some day. I am hoping to keep this excitement about becoming a woman alive. Besides that we will probally do a simple ritual involving the moon, bake a cake, and talk a lot. Totally diffrent from what my mother did, and something that my daughter will really enjoy.

This is why I am happy my parents had a feast and celebration. I had to sit in the middle of over 30 guests while they each took turns speaking to me about the importance of becoming a woman. I never felt like my period/moon was a curse, but more of a fact of life and the difference between being a girl and a woman.

My youngest is 12 and I'm hoping to have a nice celebration that includes her two older sisters and other women in the family and friendship circle when she first bleeds. Also, I'm currently in a women's studies course and plan to write my term paper on that subject, so I need to hear all ideas on that subject.

When our last daughter started I had just received the weeping willow she had wanted and my husband, the children and I gathered around the hole she had dug and watched her plant the tree. My husband said something to the effect that he hoped she would not have to weep much with monthly periods, but if she had to, she now had a place to do some of that weeping.

I think the most important part is that this is your DAUGHTER'S celebration, and so she should be the one to pick what happens. Suggest ideas of course, but you shouldn't force a public party on her anymore than you should ignore this special time in her life. The point is to make her moon a celebration of her womanhood, not a curse or something to be ashamed about. If she picks something special that she is comfortable with this will be a validation of her ability to have control over her own life now. It will also start off her relationship with her body in a positive way, instead of learning that her moon is dirty and she should hide it.

Some simple ideas to include:

Buy her a red shirt, dress, scarf, or other clothing item that she can wear every month when she bleeds.

Buy a red piece of jewelry for the same purpose, to wear every month when she is bleeding.

Eat red foods at the party!

Have a group of her friends and family members (women) tell the stories of their own menarche, good and bad. Have them share their favorite parts about their moons and why they are proud to be women.

I gave dd a basket of things on her 10th birthday (I was 12 when I started, but dh's sisters were 9, so who knows when she will start). I put cloth pads, natural disposable pads, a rice-filled mini-pillow that can be heated in the microwave and used for cramping, a couple books, and a blood Jasper stone in it. She really loved the gift and has been reading up on what to expect. When the time arrives, I think we will do something special together, just the two of us. And, we have agreed that she can have her ears pierced at that time as well.

My 11 yr old started her period in Oct. It really took me by surprise. I was 13 when I started so I thought it would be some time. My neighbor really wanted to be part of a celebration, but I decided to just have it be a special moment for the two of us. We went out and I got her a new red shirt, we went out for pizza and then we went to the bookstore and I got her a New Moon Magazine. She loved the magazine so I got her a subscription. We had a nice time together, and I gave her some advice along the way.

what i did for my dds knowing they would be embarassed (dont know your dd's personality) when they had their first period/moon we girls only had dinner

my dd has no interest in a big party to celebrate her first moon (which she hasn't had yet). we are putting together a box of cloth pads, homeopathic pms meds, a red candle, good chocolate, practical stuff like a set/dry bag, and a piece of jewelery. I also plan on doing a nice dinner out for just us two (we may invite my mom if dd wants).

They have asked questions about my cycle and I have been telling them ever since I can remember that it will be a special day in their lives when it begins for them. I have told them I will buy them a red rose, some chocolate and that we can go out together for a pedicure. They love the idea. Of course I will listen to how they feel when the time comes too.

My DD is quite a way away from this - but I hope to celebrate her transition to womanhood (if she will let me) and continue the family tradition of a gift of jewelry. My mom bought me a very nice ring the day I started my period for the first time - and gave it to me with a card that said "Welcome to Womanhood - use it wisely". It made it really special and made me proud to be a woman.

Moon = period

I know other mamas have looked for something like this. I'm trying to think of something for my own dd. Being 14 and not starting yet is starting to frustrate her, so I'd like it to be a positive experience when she does.

Here's my plan:

In a red silk bag:
~Herbal Tub Tea
~A bracelet with 28 beads and a moon charm that she can move to keep track of when she cycles.
~A booklet of other women talking about their first moons (would you be willing to contribute?) I would just use their first name and current age. Positive and negative experiences would make it a good resource/support for them imo

I was reading this:
http://www.campusactivism.org/upload...nstruation.pdf

and while I don't agree with a lot of it, I found some truth in it as well. And some good info for my daughters. I really like the idea of menstrual panties!

Anyway, I know my dd doesn't want to make a big deal out of it (like telling anyone LOL) but I also don't want her to see it as something bad or shameful. She is not into cloth pads but if she was I'd include those too.

We made my stepdaughters necklaces with 13 red beads and a cowrie shell. What about 13 red roses?

Hello!
I am having a menarche (first moon) celebration for my dd and her 3 friends. She has yet to start her moon but 1 of her friends has and she is showing all the signs so i am sure it will be soon. we (her friends moms and I and the girls)decided to have a party for all of them regardless if they started or not. I am hosting and would love any idea ya'll could give me!! poems, passages, stories would be most helpful!!
Heres what we have planned
~make heart pouches, using wool felt and embroidery, with the girls. moms put a note inside before we sew it closed for the girls to open up at a much later date (18?) It will have loving words of empowerment, praise etc.
~all the moms made something to give to each girl, I made moon necklaces, another is making handmade, small, pretty bags to keep their pads in their purses private, another is a glass blower and she made pretty barrettes.
~We also plan to sit in a circle and take turns telling the girls our own menarche stories

~we also are going to have the girls write questions down and put them in a basket and moms will take turns answering them (our girls are hs so they haven't experienced traditional "sex ed"). So we moms thought it would be great to combine this with a sort of tell all/ask all.
~also we are planning on having some yummy food and drink as well.
~we moms also wanted to share a story/passage or poem that had special meaning for this event- that's where I'm particularly stumped...

Oh how cool!!! I soooo want a girl! I want to celebrate her first moon blood with her, her passage into womanhood. I want to pass on traditions and create another woman in this world who doesn't shudder at the sight and thought of her own blood. Gosh I hope I'm carrying a girl!! Anyway, have you seen this? I'm sure other places carry similar things but I always think of this. I know of others, I just can't think of them off the top of my head. Maybe give a copy of "The Red Tent" to each girl too

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Maya Angelou

I keep thinking about getting myself a red cord bracelet to wear during my moon time. Partly to remind me that when I am getting wound up there might be a reason. To remind me to drink extra water and eat healthier. And pick up chocolate at the store. And maybe as a warning to my near and dear.

congratulations!!!! i always think about what i will do if i have a girl someday, when she has her moon for the first time. have you read "the red tent", by anita diamant...they have an awesome part in their about their celebration...its set in abrahamic bible times so i don't recommend you do what they do, but that's what got me thinking about celebrating the first moon!
i think that when my girl (if i ever have her) has her moon, we will get her a massage, a pedicure, manicure, something like that to celebrate her physical body and give it pampering...probably make her an awesome dinner, take her to the beach and have some cheesy talk about the tides of the ocean and the tides of her body (i am such a hippie)...maybe buy her some sort of jewelry or body adornment that she can keep forever to remember it.

I think maybe a red shirt... she loves to shop and looks great in red but seldom buys or wears it so it would be kind of special... Or a red "hippy" dress as she calls them. She loves the long, flowy dresses that I wear and maybe if I got her a red one? Hmm...

I second something she can keep - maybe a piece of silver jewellery with a red stone ? Garnets are nice and not too expensive. Or maybe moonstone would be appropriate?
FYI, I sell a "woman" necklace: It has a simple silver moon charm, handmade black clay beads, silver flower beads, and deep red swarvoski crystals strung on Hemp. I just started making them, so I don't know about pricing yet. I am planning to wear one to births and to give one to my sister when she gets her moon.


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## whateverdidiwants (Jan 2, 2003)

OP - Please ask your daughter if she even wants any kind of aknowledgment. I would have been absolutley mortified and probably would have locked myself in my room if my mother had planned any kind of party, given me a basket of stuff, or told everyone I had finally gotten my period and was a "woman".

Even now, I would feel extremely uncomfortable participating in any of the group activities listed by other people.


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## SusanElizabeth (Jun 2, 2006)

Teenagers do not want a blessingway. It's embarassing. They just want you to be supportive.


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## aliinnc (Jan 10, 2008)

The mother of one of my daughter's friends told her daughter, "Remember this date - January 15th - because it is a special date for you."

When my daughter told me about that, I thought it was great. Not enough fuss to embarass the daughter, but it acknowledged the significance of the day.
Ali


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## BirthIsAwesome (Nov 14, 2007)

I am a teenager (18) and I would have LOVED a blessingway! My mom did nothing except buy me some (disposable) pads and a piece of chocolate at the drugstore. A special ceremony that acknowledged my new womanhood and new ability to procreate would have been so cool and not embarrassing at all as long as it was a very small group of women that I was very close with.

It was not until I got interested in birthing at 14 (and even more later, when I became a doula at 17) that I recognized how special my moon is and now I rejoice every time I bleed or ovulate, because it is an inner confirmation that everything is working and that someday I will bear children. I'm kind of rambling, but I just want to say that not all teens would hate a blessingway just like not all teens would like one. It depends on the daughter, and I think OP is well aware of that.


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## mother_sunshine (Nov 25, 2001)

Quote:

So I think just growing up in a healthier environment has helped alot. Once, when she was digging around in the cupboard and found some pads, I wasn't home, and she asked dh what they were. He told her something about when you become a woman you have this mystical power that causes you to be able to have babies. It also causes you to be in sync with the moon, and during your moon time you bleed a little from your vagina, but that it doesn't hurt, and that is what the magical part is. The pad was for catching the blood. Now, I was like (?) because I don't refer to it as my moon time, or that it is mystical or anything. I asked him where he got that, and he said "Well, I'm the only guy in the household, and the father of two daughters. I've rehearsed that speech for years. I can't believe I actually got to say it!" What a guy.
Wow, what a great guy.









Lots of great info reposted, thanks BirthIsAwesome.


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## BirthIsAwesome (Nov 14, 2007)

I know! He sounds really cool! Thanks and your welcome!









Quote:


Originally Posted by *mother_sunshine* 
Wow, what a great guy.









Lots of great info reposted, thanks BirthIsAwesome.


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

I'm wondering what to do as well. I've already purchased a variety of pads and tampons and shown my daughters where I keep them (in a drawer right next to the toilet.) I also let their female friends know, in case one of them needs sanitary protection while visiting- if she knows where it is, she can get it discreetly.

I was hoping to take DD out for a special lunch, just the two of us, to celebrate her menses, but since I now can't have gluten or dairy, and the only kosher restaurants in the area are a pizza place and a bagel place, my options are limited. Taking her out to get her nails done won't work either because both DD2 and I have chemical sensitivities and the smell of nail salon chemicals set us off (so DD2 couldn't go at all and I couldn't accompany DD1 there.)

I'm not quite there yet with either DD so I guess I have a little time to think about this (but DD1 is 13 already so it's likely to happen soon.)

Certainly, I won't go throwing a big party if she doesn't want one. When she tells me, I'll ask her if she wants to go do something special, just me and her, or if she wants to invite any female relatives and/or friends along, or if she wants to ignore it altogether.


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## mother_sunshine (Nov 25, 2001)

What if you set up a picnic for just the 2 of you.....Or have someone take the others out while you and your dd have a lunch/dinner at home just the 2 of you?

I kwym about the chemicals in a nail salon. How about a massage or spa just for the 2 of you. Hmmm....that made me think of an idea for us. There's a resort in Kona that has a great spa. Oooooo! That sounds so good right now.

(PS....good to see you again Ruth







)


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## SusanElizabeth (Jun 2, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BirthIsAwesome* 
FYI, I sell a "woman" necklace: It has a simple silver moon charm, handmade black clay beads, silver flower beads, and deep red swarvoski crystals strung on Hemp. I just started making them, so I don't know about pricing yet. I am planning to wear one to births and to give one to my sister when she gets her moon.


This necklace sounds very pretty. That's a nice idea.

I notice this list doesn't include the past posts from the woman who wanted to have a tapioca party when her son ejaculated for the first time, and the woman who had a party and served sponge cake that was cut into the shape of sanitary napkins, with strawberries scooped on top.


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## BirthIsAwesome (Nov 14, 2007)

That's because I only saved the posts (in microsoft word) that had ideas that I was interested in.







I wrote that I had deleted some posts in my original post. Thanks for the compliment--I think it is very pretty and would work as a birthing necklace or firstmoon necklace, either way.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SusanElizabeth* 
This necklace sounds very pretty. That's a nice idea.

I notice this list doesn't include the past posts from the woman who wanted to have a tapioca party when her son ejaculated for the first time, and the woman who had a party and served sponge cake that was cut into the shape of sanitary napkins, with strawberries scooped on top.


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## SusanElizabeth (Jun 2, 2006)

I guess my view is that there are some things that are private. I question the appropriateness of parties but the necklace that you make doesn't sound like that. It just sounded nice to me.


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## Logan's Mom (Mar 2, 2006)

Sorry, I don't have a daughter and only have nephews, but I would have to say it depends on the kid and your relationship.

My mom and nana took me to a restaurant and gave me a ring. My mom also told my dad which I asked her not to do. All said and done, I wished then and wouldn't change my wish now that she did absolutely nothing except provide me with something to use - pads or tampons. I found it embarrassing and humiliating to have those discussions with them.

I know that isn't the response you were looking for nor the sentiment of many mamas, especially on this board. Its natural, normal, healthy..blah, blah, blah...yes, its all those things...but its still nothing I want to discuss over lunch with mom and nana at any age!


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## ~Boudicca~ (Sep 7, 2005)

My dd is only about 5 but I got her one of these a couple years ago to give her when she ventures into womanhood

http://www.bellpineartfarm.com/home/...l_goddess.html

I have to get another one too for my other daughter (she's 9 months old--I like to think ahead).

I was also thinking of having this woman custom-make a piece of jewelery to commemorate the occasion:

http://www.greenleesforest.com/cherishedbleeding.htm

Her work is beautiful.

I was thinking I could put together a special keepsake box with these things in it, and maybe take them out to lunch or a spa day or something like that, you know?

I would like to make my little girls' first moontime special because my mom all but humiliated me when I got mine.


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## MillingNome (Nov 18, 2005)

Nothing to add to the thread other than if this is for your dd then whatever you do, make sure it is something she wants. As in if you hint at throwing a red party and she looks horrified, drop the idea. Meet her where she is at and in a way that will please her even if it means doing next to nothing other than merely acknowledging it came. Try to give her the info in a way most likely to get read/understood by her. It might mean a book, email and fancy dinner out. Since it can be an awkward time, just being open and letting her know you are there for her can ease the way and make it very much a blessing the way ("blessingway" refers to a specific Native American tribes's ceremony so I prefer "blessing the way"...) rite of passage. Whatever you do, I think it's awesome you're giving such thought. I hope it is special


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