# Why did I go look?



## Baby Makes 4 (Feb 18, 2005)

I am not sure what I was thinking.

I just went to the October and November due date clubs and looked at the bellies. I lost two babies earlier this year and have due dates coming up on October 18 and November 27th. I want a big, beautiful belly full of baby.

I want my babies so bad.







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## momz3 (May 1, 2006)

I accidently stumbled onto the May 06 babies updates the other day and bawled...
You are not alone in this


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

FWIW, I'm pregnant again and reading the August twins thread crippled me emotionally for days. It's normal. None of us are alone


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## sewinmama (May 3, 2004)

I was on two ddc because our due date changed dramatically from what it was. I make a point of going there to read about the lucky mamas and though I have to work at it sometimes I really am happy for them. I don't say much, I just read and hope some of their collective successful pregnancy karma will rub off on me.

Not TTC yet, but debating between trying for sooner or trying for later.

Huge hugs!


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## ladybug13 (Oct 29, 2005)

I remember how hard that was for me. I always got so envious and had very dark feelings when I would see a girl born the same month as my Madison. It's so, so hard.

Hang in there. The first year of milestones is the hardest. Wishing you gentle days ahead as you approach these rough ones.


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## WaturMama (Oct 6, 2006)

Okay, it is my sweet somewhere-else baby spirit's due date month now. I was just thinking of going to look at the ddc and then it seemed crazy and stupid and reckless, but then I read this and I feel more like doing it, because none of you seem crazy or stupid or reckless, and somehow even it is hard, it is real, and I do want to know what's happening with those mamas and their babies. I think I just won't make a habit of it, though.

This month is tough. The "how pregnant would I be now" thoughts had slowed down a lot, but they are picking up again.







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## WaturMama (Oct 6, 2006)

P.S. On another day I think this same thread might have given me the courage to not look, rather than the courage to look like I did today. This is how the grieving process is and how support is, I think.


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## Baby Makes 4 (Feb 18, 2005)

((Hugs)) to everyone who is dealing with the how-pregnant-would-I-be thoughts. It's so hard.

My SIL is exactly as pregnant as I should be so I get a vivid and heartbreaking reminder at least twice a week.


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## Parker'smommy (Sep 12, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Baby Makes 4* 
((Hugs)) to everyone who is dealing with the how-pregnant-would-I-be thoughts. It's so hard.

My SIL is exactly as pregnant as I should be so I get a vivid and heartbreaking reminder at least twice a week.

I can't imagine how tough that must be for you... I'm so sorry Sara!!!!









To the OP--- My due date has come and gone and it was tough. I never did go back to my ddc, except to tell them I was leaving. It was just TOO painful for me. I was 20 weeks, so I knew these women pretty well too. My ddc was really sweet and loving, but I've heard of ddc's that don't want losses mentioned because it creates "negativity"...whatever.

NOW, when I see newborns ( due date was June 28th) I wonder in my heart if they were born around dd2's due date and I picture myself holding her and loving her, and showing her off to everyone. I think about how different our lives would be right now with around the clock feedings and diapers and all that great stuff. But...there is no dd2. She is gone. Forever. I think about her everyday. I don't think I will ever "get over this" and I don't think I should have to...and neither should you or any of us. I'm forever changed by my loss...forever.


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## AngelBee (Sep 8, 2004)




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## Becky~~<[email protected] (Aug 7, 2007)

I feel just like that when i see other babies and when i read about the wemen who have perfect pregnancies. . . I get so overwhelemed still a year after my loss







. its really hlpfull for me to know that other ppl feel the same and im not crazy or evil for having the thoughts and feelings i am . . Ty all you wonderful wemen for posting these hard feelings.


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## ColoradoMama (Nov 22, 2001)

I used to check in on the May 06 DDC, too. I almost always regretted it later. It's so hard.


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## ColoradoMama (Nov 22, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Parker'smommy* 
To the OP--- My due date has come and gone and it was tough. I never did go back to my ddc, except to tell them I was leaving. It was just TOO painful for me. I was 20 weeks, so I knew these women pretty well too. My ddc was really sweet and loving, but I've heard of ddc's that don't want losses mentioned because it creates "negativity"...whatever.

That's awful. I hadn't heard that. I'm glad I wasn't in a ddc like that.


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