# I can't believe I'm posting here



## dkenagy (Jun 25, 2004)

I lost my fourth baby last week. I was only 6w5d, but I had known I was pregnant for 3 weeks. I feel so guilty now because I had my doubts about this pregnancy's timing; this baby was SO wanted, though, and we were so excited. We had already begun the preliminary planning for this baby's homebirth... instead, my baby poured out of me into the toilet of a rented house at the beach. I feel so confused and overwhelmed. I don't feel like I have anyone to turn to who knows what I'm going through.
I guess people don't know what to say to me (those who knew I was pregnant), so they are not saying anything and it's tearing me apart.


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## bodhicitta3 (Jun 19, 2006)

you are in my thoughts and prayers.


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## ~Katrinka~ (Feb 4, 2007)

I'm so sorry for your loss.








Losing a baby can be terribly isolating, as so many well-meaning people find themselves at a loss for words. Even hearing someone say "I don't know what to say" or "I can't imagine how you must feel" is so much better than knowing that they know you lost the baby and hearing them say...nothing at all.
I hope that in the coming weeks, more of your friends and family are able to reach out to you, if only to say a simple, "I'm sorry" and to give you a hug. You may find comfort from someone you hardly know, someone who surprises you by saying "it happened to me too", and then sits down and really talks to you. That happened to me a few times after I went back to work.
Take good care of yourself, Mama. Sending you peace and healing vibes.


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## AngelBee (Sep 8, 2004)

:







:


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## katheek77 (Mar 13, 2007)

I am so sorry.

I realize how special your baby was to you, and how much his or her loss must hurt for you. Please, cry and scream, and get angry, and let the world know how devestated you are. It's a terrible, horrible thing, and you don't deserve this. You know how wanted this baby was. People don't know what tosay because they don't know how you are feeling...even when they ask, we have a tendency to hide the pain and to pretend it doesn't matter as much as it does.

God bless you in this time of loss, and I hope you find some peace and resolution.


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## runes (Aug 5, 2004)

i'm so sorry.


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## TchrGrrl (Nov 15, 2003)

I am so sorry.


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## AnnaGA (Jul 8, 2007)

I am so sorry.







I know what you mean, though, about feeling guilty. I got pregnant last November and it was a SHOCK. We were NOT trying and it was not good timing (we had no insurance, etc.). We quickly got very excited about it and were even talking names when I went for my 1st ultrasound at 11 weeks. There was a perfect little baby in there, but no heartbeat, no blood flow, and no growth past 9 weeks. Apparently he/she had dies inside me and I hadn't even known it. I felt HORRIBLE about the lack of excitement and all the worrying I'd done. I would give anything to have that baby back. Please know it is okay to grieve all you want. I hope you find peace and healing very soon...and I hope your family and friends support you in the coming days.


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## minsca (Jun 25, 2007)

I am so sorry


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## Genesis (Jan 8, 2007)

I'm so sorry.


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## NullSet (Dec 19, 2004)

Darci, I'm so sorry.


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## gretasmommy (Aug 11, 2002)

I am so sorry you are going through this. While many don't understand, and don't know what to say (and thus ignore it even happened!), some of us really do. I relied heavily on the mamas here during my losses, and they never let me down. Take care, and know there are understanding folks here, always.


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

-Angela


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## mizznicole (Feb 13, 2007)

I know that feeling of guilt too...I wrote letters to my little baby and that helped a lot, although it was so painful. I'm very sorry you're having to go through this.


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## Whittliz (Oct 5, 2006)

I'm so sorry.


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## dkenagy (Jun 25, 2004)

Thanks so much for all the thoughts and prayers. I've gotten a lot of hugs and words of encouragement from my DH, but even my own sister has been avoiding me. I have found, since my m/c, that my mom had a m/c (although she says she can't remember how far along she was), my grandmother had one around 16w, a lady at church that I usually only exchange pleasantries with found me in the restroom on Sunday and told me about her miscarriages and gave me a big hug and said how sorry she was and that she's been praying for me since she found out. Those things help, but I keep flashing back to the smiling dr in the strange ER that chuckled as he explained, "As I said before, 1 in 3 pregnancies ends in miscarriage. You have three children already, so you were due, you know?" ha ha hee hee It's a really laugh riot. I also loved that he had my u/s recorded on a CD which was given to me before I was told that it just contained pictures of my empty uterus.


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## fierrbugg (Jul 24, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dkenagy* 
I keep flashing back to the smiling dr in the strange ER that chuckled as he explained, "As I said before, 1 in 3 pregnancies ends in miscarriage. You have three children already, so you were due, you know?" ha ha hee hee It's a really laugh riot. I also loved that he had my u/s recorded on a CD which was given to me before I was told that it just contained pictures of my empty uterus.

Ok, there's a word for that guy, but I can't type it here. I can think it, though.







: When will healthcare providers learn that there are just things that you don't say? He should have known better.








to you momma. I'm so sorry for your loss.


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## hannybanany (Jun 3, 2006)

What an insensitive doctor









I am so sorry for your loss


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