# breastfeeding in a parked car at the mall



## amygoforth (Jun 21, 2005)

I saw a woman breastfeeding her newborn while eating lunch in the front seat of her parked car at the mall. I was parked next to her getting back into my car when I noticed. My first response was to catch her eye and give her a big smile and thumbs up (hoping that since I was wearing my Birth Care Network tshirt, complete with "The Nursing Station - [my city's] number one breastfeeding store!" logo on the back, I wouldn't freak her out). Hey, she's breastfeeding! Good for her!

But I didn't. I got in my car thinking about why she had to leave the mall with her baby and eat in the car rather than sit inside, more comfortably at a table, and eat her lunch. Or she could have sat at one of the benches hear the indoor penny fountains for some nice white noise. I seriously conisdered tapping on her window to tell her it was okay to BF inside the mall, that by doing so she'd be sending a positive message to other woman -- breastfeeding is normal! I didn't want to intrude, however... who knows what her true reasons were? I'm speculating, after all.

Had she bottle-fed her baby, she almost certainly would have stayed inside.

I'm totally preaching to the choir here, but I had to vent. This is weighing heavy on my mind. These are sad times we live in, that this woman feels she must hide to comfortably feed her baby. I hope that as she gains confidence she'll venture out more. Obviously the more woman who BF in public, the more likely it'll become normalized.


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## WC_hapamama (Sep 19, 2005)

Sometimes it was a lot easier for me to nurse in a parked car. My babies were pretty distractable and didn't nurse well in noisy places.


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## MissMommyNiceNice (May 1, 2007)

I don't know, I sometimes find it easier to feed ds in the car because he gets too distracted by all the shiny things in the stores. Not that I'm against it, but god, I can't even get the kid to sleep on our nap walk if a squirrel runs by. He's very easily distracted, kinda like his momma!

What were we talking about?







Oooh, shiny!


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## fek&fuzz (Jun 19, 2005)

Maybe she felt uncomfortable eating in public by herself. I'm guessing if she was in the car she wanted privacy and wouldn't have thought kindly of someone coming and knocking on her window. It might have freaked her out, actually.


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## Calidris (Apr 17, 2004)

Well, you may be totally right in your interpretation, but I used to stop at every safe carpark along my way to nurse when DD was an infant.
She hated the car and would cry whenever she woke, so I would drive into the nearest carpark (usually a mall) and nurse her back to sleep and continue on my way (and I would have to stop 2x in a 25 minute drive sometimes).

Also, it took me a few weeks to get comfortable with NIP (ie comfortable enough to latch DD on without exposing myself completely). Once I got the hang of it though, I nursed retty much anywhere.


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## phreedom (Apr 19, 2007)

I nursed alot outside in my truck. But my truck has a great AC and comfy leather seats and I can listen to the radio. If it was nice enough outside I would nurse with the door open or windows. (Not a problem because I usually part ´out there´) When DD was smaller I would always offer to nurse before going into the store or mall and nurse in my vehicle, because I was just more comfy there. If she needed to nurse while I was in the mall though, i never left to go back out in the truck to do it.

For some people their vehicle is a more comfortable place to nurse. I hope she was doing it for her own personal comfort and not to appease the general public. I wouldn´t have said anything to her. She probably knew it was okay for her to nurse in the mall...she just may not have wanted to for whatever reason.


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## crwilson (Mar 13, 2007)

I'm a big car nurser because dd absolutely will not nurse if there's anyone talking around her. It's hard to get her to nurse even in the car because she wants to look at everything else. Plus she latches on and off a lot if she hears any noise, which would mean that I would be flashing everyone around me. But, I hear your sentiment about making it more acceptable to nip.


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## Crunchie (Jan 9, 2007)

I wouldn't read too much into it, either. Yes, she may have felt uncomfortable NIP in the mall, and that would be sad--but maybe she just wanted to nurse in her car. I NIP all the time, in plenty of different places--but I also nurse a lot in my car. It's more like being on my couch at home, KWIM?







Sometimes it's just easier and physically more comfortable, and it has nothing to do with being uncomfortable NIP.

And while personally I'd appreciate the gesture from a fellow NIP-er if you said "hey, you can do that inside, it's normal", I'd would be totally freaked out if you came knocking on my car window!


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## Andiad (Nov 6, 2006)

I agree with the other posters. I've nursed my babe in the car before, not because I was trying to hide, but we'd just gotten somewhere and he was hungry. So, I just fed him right away once the car was parked.

I'd probably go with your initial reaction of being glad that she was bf and try not to get to worried that she was trying to hide. It's very possible that she had been inside and babe didn't get hungry until she was getting into the car.

Good for you though, for being so supportive and encouraging of NIP. You're right, the more people who do it, the more it will be seen as a normal healthy thing to do.


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## ginnyjuice (Nov 9, 2006)

Honestly, your intentions are good, but ultimately it's her decision and her comfort level. If her reasons are related to modesty or whatever, she probably feels bad enough that she is only comfortable nursing in her car. Don't make a person feel badly about that too, because then it's like "I can't win no matter what I do" and even if you mean well, people can take matters of parenting the wrong way very easily.

I only say this because I'm just getting comfortable nursing in public... It causes enough anxiety in a new, first time mom to then be told to go inside and do it anyway makes you feel like you're doing something wong no matter what you decide. She's breastfeeding and that's enough. She'll go inside when she's ready







If that time never comes, but she keeps breastfeeding, I think that's enough.

I feel bad that people aren't comfortable with breastfeeding no matter what, but I'd rather people be comfortable with what they decide than to stop altogether.

The biggest thing that has made me more comfortable with NIP is seeing others do it, so the best thing is to just lead by example.


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## mothragirl (Sep 10, 2005)

i liked nursing dd in a car when she was small because i had a crazy let down and would end up spraying breastmilk everywhere when she nursed.


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## becoming (Apr 11, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mothragirl* 
i liked nursing dd in a car when she was small because i had a crazy let down and would end up spraying breastmilk everywhere when she nursed.











Me, too. NIP can turn into a disaster for me if my breasts are too full.


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## amygoforth (Jun 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ginnyjuice* 
It causes enough anxiety in a new, first time mom to then be told to go inside and do it anyway makes you feel like you're doing something wong no matter what you decide. She's breastfeeding and that's enough. She'll go inside when she's ready







If that time never comes, but she keeps breastfeeding, I think that's enough.


I thought this too. Her baby was tiny, so I'm guessing she was new at it. And she may well have been the car for several other reasons. The whole thing just got me to thinking about why women feel uncomfortable NIP. As long as she's breastfeeding, that's the main thing!

Funny this happened when it did, though. I saw this yesterday, and the front page of our local paper's health section was about breastfeeding, or lack of it, in Kentucky.


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## tamagotchi (Oct 16, 2005)

I've nursed in the car too, because my DS would never settle down and nurse when there were any distractions around.


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## astrophe27 (Aug 27, 2007)

Another car nurser here -- baby was too distracted when small.

Even if a person was coming up to us to say positive things, the end result was the same... it is a distraction! Baby unlatches, gets pissy, then it takes me forever to relatch, etc.

So I wouldn't say nursing in the car is necessarily out of shame or something. Sometimes it's the only way possible!

A.


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## ~Heyokha~ (Nov 21, 2006)

I actually prefer to nurse in the car if its close by- its just more comfortable. Plus I can eat like a pig, let it all hang out, listen to music....









maybe she was done with her shopping and feeding babe before driving home.


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## aamna (Mar 20, 2007)

I might have done the same thing.. I just don't really feel comfortable nursing in public, maybe due to my upbringing. But I probably wouldn't eat in the car - lol - I hate that.


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## wannabe (Jul 4, 2005)

I have often breastfed in the car, for several reasons, none of them including a reluctance to get a nipple out with an audience.

- carseat hatred - full tummy = slightly less crying in the carseat

- distractible baby - for three months she'd only eat properly at night, but she'd latch and nurse for a minute or two in the car

- frequent feeder. If I fed her inside I'd lose ten minutes of between meal time to get her out to the car, and strapped in, and get to where I needed to go.

- easier transfer. If she was due a nap, I'd feed her to sleep in the car, then slip her into her seat, rather than trying to get out of the shopping centre, open the car, etc, etc, etc.


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## momto l&a (Jul 31, 2002)

Car nurser here also.

Much more comfy to sit in a car a nurse, no distractions for baby, and I don't have to worry about overactive let downs, and keeping everything discreet.

Much prefer to sit in the comfort of my car than at some dirty seat in the mall or restaurant.


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## jocelyndale (Aug 28, 2006)

nak

I usually wear my son. He often falls asleep. He hates his carseat. When going back into the car, I often open the windowd to cool it down. He wakes up when we sit down. I'll nurse him then to soften the blow of buckling back in.

If he's awake and hungry inside, I'll feed him in the store. If not, the car is just as comfy.


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## Ammaarah (May 21, 2005)

Maybe she is not a car nurser, but instead just picked up lunch and wanted to do a little lunch eating/nursing multitasking before going into the mall? I did that a few times...who knew I had to be on the lookout for lactivists!?







Just teasing you, Amy!


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## Conejita (Sep 8, 2006)

I'm a car nurser too! I need a beach blanket under DS to boost him up to make nursing easy...I usually dont like to drag it into the mall or whereever I am. So the car is a very comfortable place to nurse. I usually leave the driver side door open while I nurse him when its hot out and im all good with NIP - just easier in the car where I have a supportive seat, A/C if too hot, heat if it's cold, snacks, and my trusty beach blanket. That said - I dont leave the mall to nurse him - just have to find a place i like and use my moby wrap in place of the beach blanket (not as supportive but better than nothing). I also like the ease of dipe changes in the hatchback of the wagon - before or after feeding...i know its clean, I have a lot of space and everything I need.


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## nummies (Jun 9, 2007)

I have to nurse in the car too! I am so glad that I am not the only one! Nathan will only nurse in quiet places. Even at home, I have to turn down the radio/ TV to nurse. He just gets so distracted. Not to mention that I am much more comfortable in my own space and can let it all hang out!


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## ladybug13 (Oct 29, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WC_hapamama* 
Sometimes it was a lot easier for me to nurse in a parked car. My babies were pretty distractable and didn't nurse well in noisy places.


Ditto here. I am always more comfortable in the car and DD is way too distractable right now.


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## UberMama (Feb 27, 2007)

I have also been tempted to tap on the window and say something to the nursing mama. But I haven't.

A couple of times, when driving home from my parents house, my DD got hungry. Both times, I stopped in mall parking lots, parked in a shaded area, opened the side door of the van and then nursed her in the back. It was nice, quiet, comfortable and once she was done eating, she went back in her car seat until we got home.


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## bellymama (Apr 15, 2007)

i have been known to go sit in my car to nurse. when my son was very small he was incredibly hard to hold without a boppy. my boobs are HUGGGGE so i had to hold my boob so it didn't smother him, which left me with only one arm to hold him with, and he would wriggle and fight it. so i would just go sit in my car, where my legs were up higher so it was easier to hold him. i didn't do it because i was ashamed. it was also quieter and easier to enjoy nursing him there.
now that he is bigger and can hold my boob himself, its not so hard, so i doubt i would...although he does get real distracted so going somewhere quiet might be a good idea.
anyway, she may not have been in the car because she felt like she had to,yk? hopefully not, because that would suck.


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## gaudynight (Sep 10, 2007)

I like to nurse in the car too. If I've got my older dds with me, they can eat or look at books or whatever and it takes longer for them to get bored. If they're not with me sometimes I do nurse inside the mall or wherever, but I also like the car because *I* get overwhelmed by the crowds and noise. Natalie doesn't really seem to mind it, but I enjoy the excuse for some quiet time with her.


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## milkmamma (Aug 20, 2007)

I nurse in the car every morning before dropping my son off at daycare. They have places I could nurse in the building but this way I can listen to the radio, I have my breakfast and a bit of a cuddle before we face my least favorite part of the day (dropping off the boys)

I have nursed everywhere and I'm not ashamed to NIP. I do it a lot...all the time actually because my guy believes being in the sling means its meal time all the time, but sometimes my little one doesn't want me to do it on the go. He wants me to sit and let it all hang out in a nice quiet isolated place...so to the car we go.

I think what we should focus on is that people are breastfeeding...who cares where or how as long as the babies are getting what they need.


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## glamazon (Mar 29, 2006)

It seems to me that an issue you were trying to raise by sharing this story is how there is still a stigma around bf in public. whether this woman was responding to that stigma or whether many of us nurse in the car, is beside the point to me. I nurse wherever I need to but am conscious of it all the time. why? because even in a big city like mine, it is still unusual to see women NIP. And I for one resent that. I do wish it were easier. That "everyone" did it too...it won't change the fact that I will nurse in public, private and in between. But I do think it is important to acknowledge that NIP is far from mainstream behavior and that sometimes we all suffer looks, comments, or just a bad vibe b/c of it. and that stinks!!!!

that woman's business is her business and i am glad you didn't approach her car...that would've scared me. But I agree and appreciate the sentiment behind your post, which IMO is we shouldn't feel scared, bad, whatever to nurse in public. I'd take it further and say we should be encouraged to and have nice comfy chairs all over the place to do it!







call me a lactivist if you will...it's a compliment in my book.

on a side note...a woman came up to me at the farmers market yesterday and said, "it's nice to see another babywearing, breastfeeding mom here" that made me feel good and supported. and I knew exactly what she meant!


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## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)

She could have been on her way out of the car or just getting into the car and the baby needed to nurse.


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## pinksprklybarefoot (Jan 18, 2007)

Another mama of a distractable babe. I can't wait until this stage ends and we can NIP proudly. If I tried to do that today, Mama's nips would be on display proudly while baby craned his neck all around.


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## MisaGoat (Jul 10, 2006)

Many times my husband will run in the store while I stay in the car with the sleeping baby.

Sleeping baby wakes up because the car is parked so I nurse him in the car waiting for my husband to come back.

That seems a little less likely at the mall but I think there are times where it makes more sense to nurse in the car.


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## hipmummy (May 25, 2007)

I always car nurse. Usually to put ds to sleep before a ride. Or just because he will not eat with all of the distractions. Sometimes I bring a lunch to the mall to save money.


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## sparklett (Nov 25, 2006)

I BF in the car all the time. DS and I just can't get the hang of doing it in a booth in a restaurant. He gets too uncomfortable and I get too frustrated. If we BF in the car, we are in a quiet environment where we can both focus on each other. Whatever works!


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## tamagotchi (Oct 16, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *glamazon* 
But I agree and appreciate the sentiment behind your post, which IMO is we shouldn't feel scared, bad, whatever to nurse in public.

That's true, but you know what? Nursing in the car _is_ nursing in public, too. Sure, it's not flaunting it as much as sitting on a bench in the middle of the mall, but people do walk by the car and look in and see me nursing there, and it does give me the opportunity to look them in the eye and give them a big "see, I'm doing something perfectly normal" smile.


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## luminesce (Aug 6, 2006)

I have no qualms about nursing in public. (I whipped out my boob while DS was having blood drawn at six weeks old - much to the chagrin of the lab technicians who thought I was a crazy mama.







) But - I've nursed in the car too, just because it was more comfortable for us at the time and where we wanted to be.


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## guest~*~ (Jul 11, 2007)

I would have also wondered if she was afraid to NIP.

BUT

I love nursing DD in the car, we make great eye contact and it's more intimate (to me)... much more peaceful than a busy mall or restaurant- but those places have their benefits too (like the whole eating thing.)

Sometimes I get so busy that nursing just "happens" instead of it always being a deep experience... nursing in the car is a nursing escape of sorts.


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## MilkTrance (Jul 21, 2007)

I dunno, I wouldn't assume anything...

My car is a lot comfier than most benches, chairs and booths, since I can lean a certain way and have all my "stuff" spread out around me, put my feet up, etc., so I end up nursing in my car a LOT.

It's like when I have friends over. I could care less whether they see some boob -- many drunk nights in high school would attest to that -- but it's comfier to nurse in my bed, so sometimes I do! It doesn't mean I am ashamed of nursing.

I get your POINT though, and I agree that it's sad when women feel they HAVE to nurse in a car.


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## grumpybear (Oct 5, 2006)

I nurse in my car too if I can't find a comfortable place to nurse in. Sometimes restaurant seats are too small (I get spoiled in the rocker-recliner) or benches are too high where I can't put my feet on the ground.


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## NYCVeg (Jan 31, 2005)

I nurse in the car all the time. When dd was a little squirt (0-4 months), we had huge problems with Raynaud's, thrush, overactive letdown, painful latch, etc. It was just so much easier not to have to worry about milk going everywhere, about having a boob flapping in the wind while it took her 10 or 20 times to latch on, about dealing with pain in public (never pretty).

Now I do it sometimes b/c she is SO distractible and generally will not NIP at all.

And honestly, I often just find the plush seats in my own car more comfy than, say, a bench in the mall.

So there are lots of reasons she might have been doing it.


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## mouso (Feb 8, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NYCVeg* 
I nurse in the car all the time. When dd was a little squirt (0-4 months), we had huge problems with Raynaud's, thrush, overactive letdown, painful latch, etc. It was just so much easier not to have to worry about milk going everywhere, about having a boob flapping in the wind while it took her 10 or 20 times to latch on, about dealing with pain in public (never pretty).

Now I do it sometimes b/c she is SO distractible and generally will not NIP at all.

And honestly, I often just find the plush seats in my own car more comfy than, say, a bench in the mall.

So there are lots of reasons she might have been doing it.

















:

We had all those problems too. And since I could only nurse DD in the football hold for the first 2-3 months the car was easier. I just couldn't see dragging a Boppy through the mall.







And in the car I could read a book while she bursed on the Boppy.

Now that we've gotten the hang of it we nurse all over town. Thank goodness we can nurse in other positions now- I thought I'd never leave the house- and she's a bit long for the football hold now!


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