# How do we get him to stop picking his lip?



## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

Our ds (3 yo) won't stop picking at his lip. It's scabby/gross from him doing it. How do I get him to stop? I've offered him Chapstick, threatened time-outs...


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## Clarity (Nov 19, 2001)

if you check in on our nailbiting thread, I think timeouts won't be that effective with a nervous picky type habit. why does he say he picks at it? even at 3 maybe he'll say something helpful? It might help you know what to do. Perhaps keeping his hands engaged with an alternative thing or avoiding activities when he tends to pick (like tv or whatever.) I do find I can get in a cycle at this time of year...I tend to get badly chapped lips when the season turns if I don't catch it right away. Maybe have him use something else better than chapstick (like carmex) several times a day while it heals and keep offering alternate finger and mouth activities at the same time. Plus check in that it's not something else emotionally going on. My mom agrees she thinks acupuncture would have been what she would have used when I was going through this as a kid, although I was a bit older.


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## busybeemommy (Nov 11, 2003)

I totally agree about giving him something to keep his hands busy- crafts, a knitting toy, anything. Also, maybe you could get him one of those lip balms that come on brightly-colored necklaces, and see if maybe the novelty will keep him interested in it long enough to allow his lip to heal.


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## sea island mama (Dec 17, 2001)

I thought you said "licking". Dd is doing that all the time & now all outside her lips is chapped







. I like the suggestion of some lip balm she might use - won't let me put anything on.
Now 'picking' she does to her belly button...that just drives me round the bend for some reason







. I try to keep her hands busy, but she will do things with one hand so she can keep the other on her belly button







. This has been going on for probably close to two years, BTW.
Oops, sorry to hijack your thread







.


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## Clarity (Nov 19, 2001)

hmmmm...flavored lip stuff might be a problem if it tastes too good. Causes more licking which creates more problems. For nicola, what if you put it one while she was asleep? Just once or twice a day might help. Maybe go back to snap onesie shirts or overalls?


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## melamama (Oct 8, 2002)

dd would do this also--I searched everywhere for recommendations and what worked best was to ignore the behavior.
Also--I would sneak on unpretroleum at night. and we let her pick out a chapstick she could carry in her pocket.
Maybe also show him what is happening in the mirror.


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## kaya3 (Nov 30, 2001)

My 4 year old son does this until he bleeds. i found a chapstick thing on a necklace that he has and can use whenever he needs to. griffin does really well with charts, so we did this. if he used his chapstick, he got a star, if he picked, he lost a star. when he got 10 stars he got a reward, a new book, a trip to the video store, something really special. it has done wonders, but like i said, griffin responds well to charts.
good luck
krista


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## tausborn (Aug 10, 2003)

Just a little different perspective. I have this habit too. Yes, I'm an adult (36) and one of my little habits is picking at my lips. It all started when I got an injury on my mouth as a child which left a little scar. I have many times in the past gone too far with it ... of course, being female, I could always just put lipstick on to cover it up. At times of great stress, I can get really bad.

I have never been able to break this habit. I have only been able to "manage" it. It has been quite a few years since I have made my lips really bad. Once I stopped getting so upset at myself for having the habit, I seemed to be better able to utilize some self control, some temperance. I let myself do it a little in moderation, instead of trying to make myself not do it at all. So, perhaps you should help your son manage his habit... work with him. Don't take the approach that it "has to be eradicated." Even if you eliminate it, he will just pick another habit. Some people need them.

I have used carmex for years on my lips. It really helps to heal them, keep them from getting chapped, and (this is the reason I really like it)... it makes the picking easier to do... I've heard some people complain that carmex makes their lips peel... I think that's true, but see, it give me something to work with, I guess, without damaging my lips as much.

Hey guys... don't make fun of me or tell me to get help... everyone's got some kind of funny personal habit.


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## Clarity (Nov 19, 2001)

I agree about carmex, I think it works great...but if you use it too much (you know how some people are chapstick addicts?) it can be overkill...it has stuff like camphor and alum...so the stuff that makes it work so good can cause a problem if you use it way too much.


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