# School cancels prom/orgy



## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/10/16/pro....ap/index.html

I'm rather impressed with any school offical who can use the word 'bacchanalian' correctly--or at all.


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## pfamilygal (Feb 28, 2005)

Good for them. I would never allow my child to go to parties after a prom or anything like that. They could invite some friends back to our house and have good, clean, well-supervised fun. And that amount of money is insane! That's a good start on a college fund. Oy!


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## UnschoolnMa (Jun 14, 2004)

I dunno... I am kind of sad for the kids to lose their prom. I do know many teens that look forward to it. In their shoes I might not spend my money the same way (not renting a house in the Hamptons. Ever







) but so what? Not my money not my choice.

I'd be cool with my teens going to a party after a dance if it's what they wanted. Like anything else we'd be discussing it and talking over the details before hand until we all felt comfy with what was happening.


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## Ryver (May 31, 2005)

I have to say Bravo to the principal. I mean the reasons he stated were fantastic. Sex/Booze/Drugs will almost always tiptoe into teenage events, however to have that much commercialism and consumptionism? All I can say is wow.


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## fire_lady (Aug 24, 2005)

Sad for the kids whos expecting a prom and







for the principal.


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## Ravin (Mar 19, 2002)

It sounded like they had it coming. I mean, one year a group of my friends rented a limo, cost 20 bucks a piece or so, but it certainly didn't have alcohol in it since it was being used by minors! And I remember hearing rumors about some kids renting hotel rooms, but going out to IHOP after was more common. We were in a WAAY different financial bracket. 1000 was like the max the richest kids would spend, for a limo for just a couple, and a fancy dress, and tux rental, tickets, pictures, dinner, etc.

Many high schools in the area where I grew up had to ban the tradition of wearing a mum for homecoming. A few girls would show up in like 3 huge overdecorated monstrosities (one from bf, one from parents, one from grandparents or something). Our high school just put size/number restrictions on them. (ribbons can't hang past waist, limit one). But there were girls who were devastated because they either didn't get or couldn't afford one of those ridiculously fancy mums.


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## philomom (Sep 12, 2004)

To spend that kind of money on one night is insane. I didn't spend that kind of money on my wedding. Kudos to the principal.


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## mama ganoush (Jul 8, 2004)

if kids don't get to have an orgy after the prom, how on earth can that school be claiming to prepare them for college?


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## whateverdidiwants (Jan 2, 2003)

at MG

My dh is a high school teacher so I get to hear about the ridiculous things that some students are doing for homecoming/prom. I keep trying to get him to volunteer to chaperone so I can go and gawk for myself, but no dice.

After my prom, my bf and I walked around Coconut Grove and then took pictures climbing all over some of the fountains in Coral Gables. We were weird, but damn it was fun.


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## mama ganoush (Jul 8, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *whateverdidiwants*







at MG

My dh is a high school teacher so I get to hear about the ridiculous things that some students are doing for homecoming/prom. I keep trying to get him to volunteer to chaperone so I can go and gawk for myself, but no dice.

After my prom, my bf and I walked around Coconut Grove and then took pictures climbing all over some of the fountains in Coral Gables. We were weird, but damn it was fun.

yo, are we neighbors? where did you go to high school? i went to gulliver.


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## Sharlla (Jul 14, 2005)

$20,000 devided by 46 isn't really that much money.


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## chersolly (Aug 29, 2004)

I'm sure one of the students has seen FOOTLOOSE.


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## whateverdidiwants (Jan 2, 2003)

46 teenagers sleeping in one house? Yikes.


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## lizzytpa (Oct 14, 2005)

First i'd like to say that i feel sorry for these kids. It is one thing to cancel a prom if what these kids are doing affects the school (Ex. arriving drunk/drugged-leaving drunk/drugged). But if the parents or teens are paying for limos, dresses.etc...what right does he have to say how much is spent and on what! What happens off school grounds should not be ruled by school officials. That's what parents are for! My friends and i rented limos and stayed over at friends house after prom and we did not drink in limos (most limo services will not even include alcohol if they know your underage) and we had plenty of good times at our after party. I think if the principal had stated no drinking before prom and after prom (on school) grounds that would have been sufficient enough, but to tell parents what they can spend their money on is outright wrong!


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## Ryver (May 31, 2005)

Well it is a private Catholic school. They have different rules than a public institution. I don't really feel sorry for anyone in this situation, I hate to say. One, it is prom, their lives will not end without it. Two, I agree parents should be responsible for their kids, but obviously they haven't been so I can see the school, stepping in. Parents are more than welcome to spend their money on anything they want, the school is under no obligation to provide a reason for it.


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## whateverdidiwants (Jan 2, 2003)

Ryver is right - for many private catholic schools (ime) you have to agree to a code of conduct that applies both in and out of school.


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## Lynnseedoil (Aug 18, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *UUMom*

I'm rather impressed with any school offical who can use the word 'bacchanalian' correctly--or at all.

Yes, but then he said "in a word, financial decadence"

Um.... that's 2 words.


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## Smithie (Dec 4, 2003)

"Not my money not my choice."

Bingo. If it's not happening at school, it's not the business of the school to be involved, period full stop end of story. I understand that a private school can set whatever nosy-ass policies they wish (mine made me sign an agreement that I wouldn't have sex with other students!), but as a parent, I would be furious to get a preachy letter from a school administrator ripping on my financial choices. Drunk kids at the prom? That's the principal's problem and responsibility. Rich kids renting a house in the Hamptons? That's the parents' problem and responsibility.


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## PancakeGoddess (Oct 8, 2004)

If the obscene consumption surrounding the prom is in conflict with the spiritual values of the school (as it very much is, IMO) I think they have the right to decide not to sponsor it. As the principal said, anyone can plan a prom. Ideally, he would give them enough advance notice to do so.

Just to clarify, I don't think these near-adults should be prohibited from doing whatever crazy shit they wanna do. I just think it's the perfect right of a religious school to not invite the behavior by sponsoring a prom.


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## hairpin (Aug 28, 2005)

C'mon now. This is real life and real society. If kids that are 17 or 18 can't deal with choices as what do with their bodies and others think they need to be sheltered, how are they ever going to deal with college (as said before) or the corporate world. Teach your kids to be able to make decisions or else they will have to learn how to do it well behind everyone else. They'll be sitting around hoping someone else will be making the decisions for them.









((Also, I went to a prom like this, albeit not in the hamptons. I survived. I hated my date. The girls in my limo... I swear they were snorting coke in their flower boquets or just had before getting in the car. My date bought us a hotel room, and I told him we would be having two beds. At the end of the evening when he wanted to party, I ditched him and read the book of buddha (first time I saw that in a hotel room) more entranced with it than the rest of it all. It wasn't my best prom, as I went to a couple. But it is funny to think back on and laugh about.))


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## PancakeGoddess (Oct 8, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hairpin*
C'mon now. This is real life and real society. If kids that are 17 or 18 can't deal with choices as what do with their bodies and others think

Not to nitpick, but this is only real life and real society for a very very small fraction of the world, and that's exactly why the consumption is so offensive.


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## LizD (Feb 22, 2002)

I hope the parents run the principal out of town, myself.


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## tryingitnatural (Aug 30, 2005)

I am sure that the principal is looking our for the interest of the school (liability issue). I know that the parties would be after the school sponsored prom but it could be argued (by the parents fancy lawyers) the the activity that led to whatever tradegy was the prom that was sponsored by the school. Parents never ever think that their kid could ever be involved in something bad but it happens and when something bad happen blame always goes around. IMO it is not the end of the world not to have a prom - with all that money some parents were willing to spend someone could organized a party much better than a school could


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## LizD (Feb 22, 2002)

At my high school the admin had nothing to do with the prom, it was entirely organized and paid for by the senior class. It was never held on school grounds- only ever at a restaurant like Windows on the World or Tavern on the Green. The faculty were invited, of course. Always a weeknight so that anyone who'd been to the prom would stop by the school the next day still in their dress clothes to show off- lots of private parties after the prom, too, of course- they were basically excused from school the next day. So perhaps this is a good thing- Long Island schools can now just follow suit and have independent proms like their Manhattan counterparts.


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## mommaJ (May 3, 2005)

I wouldn't be happy if my kid was upset about having no prom, but on the other hand I would not run the principal out of town. I'm thinking that any strong argument made by the students' parents one way or another is silly--let the almost-adult kids figure it out.

I would offer my support to DD if she were upset by the cancellation, and would hope that she joined with other students and did something about it. Plan their own prom, speak intelligently to the principal, etc. I think my jumping in because my poor daughter won't get her senior prom is precisely the parental attitude to which the principal was referring. Let the kids speak and act for themselves and allow them to be the adults they are becoming. Mommy and Daddy Warbucks should step out of it.


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## kalisis (Jan 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Smithie*
Drunk kids at the prom? That's the principal's problem and responsibility.

I don't think this is really true. It's the parent's responsibility to deliver sober kids to the school. If they're drinking AT the prom, that's different and the above applies, but if the parents are implicity or explicity condoning underage drinking before/on the way to the prom, then there's a big problem and I believe the principal has every right and responsibility to do what he did.

I just have to say that I live on Long Island and as a transplant here, I'm really not surprised by this. There is SO much money and affluence here, it's really scary. Of course, there are hardworking people who are barely scraping by (we're some of them), but in general, the money just flows here for very little work and especially to the kids. It's this whole other mind set.

Just my $.02


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## Lisa Lubner (Feb 27, 2004)

did anyone else have a "project graduation"?? my high school organized it at a hotel, had a ton of stuff for everyone to do, and many MANY kids went there straight from the prom... rather than go off and party or rent a hotel room or whatever.

i can side with the principal here... i mean, it IS their buisness what they do with their own money... BUT, it's really up to the school whether or not they want to sponsor an event that is used as an excuse to spend obscene amounts of money.

ever see that "my sweet sixteen" show? what a bunch of spoiled little brats.

*correction* project grad. was after graduation. we had a similar thing after prom, but i forget what it was called.


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## applejuice (Oct 8, 2002)

In 1972, my Latin Class Banquet was canceled because the committee came up with the theme, "Orgy Maximus", and the teacher simply canceled it all together.










That party was the only reason I took Fourth Year Latin.


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## KnitterMama (Mar 31, 2005)

What Benjalo said.


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## luna-mia (Jul 25, 2004)

Ohhh times they are a-changing!

And I thought my prom was getting a bit much. House in the Hamptons?? I'd never let my kids stay out overnight on prom night. Thats just asking for trouble IMO.


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## Smithie (Dec 4, 2003)

ITA, annie. What I was trying to say was that the principal was entitled to take any and all measures necessary to prevent a drunken party in his school's gym - but he explicitly said that drugs/drinking were not his main concern, rather, he was offended by the amount of money being spent on clothes and cars and houses. It's not his place to regulate those behaviors. They are not illegal and do not expose his school to liability.

But of course, given my deep disinterest in institutionally-enforced morality, I would never send my kids to a Catholic school.


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## Starr (Mar 16, 2005)

My prom was way different. I bet I spent at most $250, which is a lot but hey its prom. Ok I went three years in a row.

Before hand we all went out to eat wherever we chose. Then we got to the school and had a grand march where you walk through all dressed up and your parents take pictures.

Then parents leave and prom begins and goes until midnight.

At midnight you left and went home to change and had to be back at the school by 1:00am. Then we had our post prom party. One year we all got loaded up into buses, you could not drive yourself, and we went to a bowling alley. There was bowling all night long with lots of prizes. We also had a hypnotist which was hilarious. And a silent auction with fake money that you could earn throughtout the night. And a lot of prizes and gift certificates given out even TV's and bigger items.

All the prizes were either donated or as a class we raised the money. And the parents planned the post prom. Then at 6 am you could leave.


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## Bethanydear (May 14, 2003)

I would have been sooooo mad as a student, but as an adult, I gotta respect the message.


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