# A question for moms with large breasts



## Linda on the move (Jun 15, 2005)

This is really a "parenting my teen" question, but I would like input from moms of any age kids who have large breasts, esp. if you got them young in life.

What can a mom do to help a teen make peace with her body? Anything to avoid?

My DD was a D cup at age 12, and we just had her professional fit today and she's a 36DDD. She's 13. She spent the first year she had breast completely hunched over. I told her that she has big breasts, and some people think that's good thing and some don't, but whatever she thinks, they are here to stay so she might as well stand up straight and breathe.







She's standing straighter these days.

I get her professionally fit, which was a little scary for her the first time (I told her she could work it out with a therapist later, but I didn't have a clue what size she should be in and felt that it was important that she was in the right size). Today's fitting went really well. Now that she knows how much better she feels in a bra that fits really well, and that when she tells the fitter what she likes and doesn't like about a bra, the fitter brings back better options, so she sort of enjoys the process.

Her swim suit comes from land's end with a proper, supportive cup in her size.

I'm finding the things that work for her to be very expensive. I can pick up a bra in my size at Target for $14. Her's cost $71. She likes them, feels comfortable in them, and stands up straight in them, so it's worth it.

I don't know what else to do.

I couldn't fill out a B cup until I had kids, so this really isn't an area I have any experience with!


----------



## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

Sounds like you're doing all you can. Yes, large bras are horribly expensive. $71 is a pretty good price actually. All I can think of is to make sure not to say anything about the expense in front of her. You probably haven't, anyway, which means you are doing all the right things.


----------



## PGTlatte (Mar 7, 2004)

I think you are doing fabulous









My mom was resentful toward me and not realistic and only gave me her own bras to wear although hers were a C and I needed a DD







I also needed a real sports bra and never had a good one.

Getting a good bra that fits larger sizes is more difficult and more expensive. You are awesome to do that for her, even a professional fitting !

(Ironically I've reached a point of my life when I prefer Hanes sports bras with shirring between the cups and no underwire for everyday - but that's because I got spoiled by the comfort of Bravado nursing bras and now I only like pull-over cotton bras - LOL ! But if I felt a need to look nice I would get a nicer bra again. )

It can take some sensitivity to what types of tops work well - ie I don't wear button down shirts because the button placket gaps, or shirts with any sort of gathering in the chest. Also tops that have a loose shape make me look pregnant all the time because they hang straight down from the end of my breasts. My mom never understood these problems.

I am much more comfortable when I sleep in a bra. I sleep in the Blue Canoe Jane's bras. They last for years as sleep bras if you hang them to dry.

For a real sports bra, I shop at http://www.titlenine.com/ or http://www.x-chrom.com/ . Not feeling like my breasts bounce noticeably around helps me feel much more comfortable being active.


----------



## lerlerler (Mar 31, 2004)

Let's see.. at that age Chris J saw my bra tag through a white shirt (36DD) and announced it over the loadspeaker at school....

It's tough out there... for exercizing? A sports bra OVER her good bra is the best bet.. and try Nordstroms Rack for good bras cheap!!

Lisa (who hit 38J while nursing)


----------



## prone_to_wander (Jun 29, 2009)

I second wearing 2 bras. When I was a teen I would wear an underwire and a sports bra or a tank with a shelf bra. I felt the most secure this way.


----------



## wami (Jul 22, 2009)

I had a large chest from an early age. Full disclosure: I had a breast reduction when I was 21 because of the physical pain I endured due to my large breasts.

I think it's fantastic that you took her to get a proper bra fitting. I know now, post-surgery, that I was completely wearing the wrong size bra growing up which no doubt added to my pain.

There is a British company called Bravissimo that specializes in large bra sizes and clothing for curvy women. The lingerie may be more adult and sexy than you would want for a young teen and clothes may seem a bit too old for a 13-year-old (I just have a 2-year-old, so I have no idea what teens are wearing these days). They also sell sports bras, however, which could work much better for your DD than what you generally can find.

Yes, inexpensive bras really aren't an option with large breasts, at least if you want to be comfortable. But it makes a significant difference. Even now, post-surgery, I am a 32DDD, so a good-fitting bra is the difference between me having a backache or not.

As far as helping her feel comfortable in her body, that's hard. I endured a lot of unwanted male attention when I was young and a lot of jealous, mean comments from girls my age. I dressed very conservatively as a result. I was ashamed of my body and those feelings no doubt were part of the reason I had a reduction. I think the thing most girls with large breasts struggle with is feeling like their breasts are all people see. I think by treating her breast size as just another physical trait -- such as being short, or tall, or curvy or slim -- not necessarily something that should define her, is a good thing.


----------



## mrskingred (Aug 3, 2006)

I second Bravissimo







I am a large cup size but v.narrow back (28/30F)- I was bigger than my Mum when I went to get my first bra at 13.
I was fortunate that I grew up in the UK where large cup sizes were more readily available. Living in the US for 10 years and even worse being pregnant and nursing in the US was a nightmare as far as obtaining bras that fit. Mainland europe isn't any better for specialist bras.
Bravissimo styles vary, they have some plain styles that are more suitable for a young teen - when I was young I had no choice over styles as there just wasn't the selection.
The sports bras are great, as is the swimwear. Unfortunately they are still expensive compared to regular size bras.
They are also other online bra retailers that stock larger sizes. http://www.brastop.com often has discounts, is UK based but ships abroad and figleaves.com has sites both in UK and US.


----------



## Linda on the move (Jun 15, 2005)

Wow! Thanks for all the great feedback!









As far as price, yesterday I told that she could get whatever bras felt the very best. After she decided, I checked the price and said we could only get 2, but that if she needs more we can wait a few weeks and get more. I don't really think 2 bras is enough, but I'm kinda of spoiled because I have a pile of them. (Mine are cheap and I don't change sizes, though). She said she thought 2 was enough for now.

It's the same thing with swimsuits. Her swim suit cost $98 this year, so she only got one. It seems unfair that her sister has 3 suits (but I spent less total money on her sister's suits). There's really no way to be fair.

The $98 was wroth it because she went to the water park and the community pool and all that. The first summer she had breasts, she refused to leave the house and mostly hid in her bedroom.









I'm glad to hear that what I'm paying is reasonable for what she's getting. It just seems so expensive, so I wondered if there was a less expensive way.

Shopping for clothes can be challenging because besides having large breasts, she's also really short. Last year I bought her a bunch of tank tops in all colors so she could layer them. It gives her modesty and looks trendy.

When we go shopping, just she and I go and I take a book. I like to give her lots of time to figure out what she likes.

We still haven't found a sports bra she likes, so we'll check out the links and suggestions! The Bravissimo site looks GREAT! I'll also pass along the suggestion to double up on bras and may be try sleeping in one.

Yesterday I was surprised at the size she is wearing and wondered what size she'll end up since she isn't fully grown. I could really see her some day wanting a reduction, but I don't think that I should mention it to her. If she comes up with the idea, I'll be very supportive. But in the meantime, I'll just try to keep her comfortable.


----------



## AbbieB (Mar 21, 2006)

I am a 36DD women that grew up with an A cup mother.

Please don't make your daughter feel like she has to wear a bra 100% of the time. I have always been comfortable not wearing a bra. Not because of bad fit, but just because. If it were socially acceptable to go bra-less I would.

It was hard always getting the message that my "pendulous breasts" (the phrase my mom liked to use and that still haunts me) were somehow unattractive unless strapped down and cantilevered up.

Breasts come in all shapes and sizes and big boobs just don't look the same as a small ones, or even the way the large fake porn star ones do. (No offense to those that have chosen to get cosmetic surgery.)

I would have felt better about myself if my parents had just accepted me for my shape and not felt the need to constantly fix it with "proper undergarments".

It sounds like you are doing great OP. All we can do as mothers is be supportive of our children through _their_ issues and help them find acceptance of themselves. I think you are doing that well.


----------



## Linda on the move (Jun 15, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AbbieB;15768053It sounds like you are doing great OP. All we can do as mothers is be supportive of our children through [I*
their [/I]issues and help them find acceptance of themselves. I think you are doing that well.

Thank you. I'm trying, but I kind of feel sorry for her, and I doubt that is helpful to her. I see her breasts as a bit of a burden to her. I would like to feel more positive about her shape. I would like to feel that her body is a blessing to her, is exactly the way she is supposed to be.

I really doubt that any one wants their mother to pity them.


----------



## confustication (Mar 18, 2006)

I grew up with a Mom who didn't wear a bra- and didn't need/want to because, even after having kids, she was stretching to fill out anything bigger than an A cup.

As a girl who developed very early, I never had any guidance about finding a bra to fit, and it wasn't until well after I should have had a bra that I could get one. Even then, I didn't know what size to get so I made the 'get the bigger band so it fits the breasts' mistake. Even now, I occasionally do that because bras with larger cups ARE expensive!

At any rate- you're handling this really well, and I wish my mom had been so proactive. I would be careful to help her not see her breasts as a burden, but also be real about the fact that sometiimes having very large breasts IS less comfortable, and be open to hearing her if she starts talking about a reduction at some point. (Personally, once this child is weaned I will be going down that path myself. I am not a huge fan of plastic surgery, but the massive weight on my chest is adding to my pain as a result of fibromyalgia.)


----------



## green betty (Jun 13, 2004)

I'm a 38DD who developed young. Getting well-fitting, comfortable bras is an expensive pain (these days I pretty much alternate between two Blue Canoe bras), but besides that I've always really liked having big boobs! I think they're very attractive and sexy; I wouldn't trade mine in for a B cup for anything.

I've also never found them painful at all--on the contrary, I think having big boobs made breastfeeding a lot easier for me. Since all breasts have about the same number of nerve endings they're more spread out in big breasts, so therefore less sensitive. I only wear a bra out of the house and only then as a social convention. I'm really comfortable going braless. I think if you go braless often enough your body develops the musculature in your back to support your boobs--if you never or hardly ever go braless, you don't, and then it's uncomfortable. (Plus I think that wearing a bra all the time is not healthy for your breasts and may be related to milk supply problems, but that's another post--not something your 13 year old has to worry about!)


----------



## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

It sounds like you're doing great.

The other thing to pay attention to is the style of clothing that works well for her. It's going to be very different from the styles of clothing that work well for you. She probably won't ever feel comfortable in spaghetti straps. I look terrible in empire waist tops/dresses because my big breasts make me look pregnant. So, you'll have to pay attention and do some research as to the best styles for her.


----------



## tallulahma (Jun 16, 2006)

growing up with large breasts was hard in my family- all the women had smaller breasts and they always acted like I was showing off or something.

everyone would come out for breakfast and my mom would say, "jen, dont you think you should go put a bra on?"

like, I just woke up- you guys arent wearing bras....

also, finding tshirts is so frustrating. if you buy what fits your boobs- it tents all over and looks sloppy... if you buy it to fit your shoulders and waist- its super tight on your boobs.

actually- some of the what not to wear shows on TLC have given me great shopping tips to find clothes that fit large busted women.


----------



## shnitzel (Jan 6, 2010)

My bra size ranges from 32E-G. I was a 32 E at your daughters age. My mother also has a huge chest, which is funny because we are not biologically related, so I was always fitted professionaly and we paid about what you are paying for bras. It's impossible to have a pile of bras at that size so a trick I learnt from fitters is to wear your bra in the shower and wash it in ivory soap or plain shampoo.

I think your confidence and attitude to your own body will really influence how she feels about herself as well of how big a deal you make of her chest size. As I got older I grew into my chest an don't look gigantic or busty and because I have always owned good bras I have no back problems. I assumed I would want a reduction one day, and still might, but I personally didn't want to even entertain the thought until I am done having kids because it can interfere with breastfeeding. My mom was the same way through years and years of infertility and actually had to cancel her reduction when she found out she was pregnant.

I would avoid minimizers because they give you an odd shape and push you out to the sides instead of shaping nicely.
I own a sports bra and it is essential for running, it is the ugliest thing you can imagine and it feels like my chest is bound but it works, my mother's sports bra actally has a solid bar of metal through it so it doesn't bend, but it works. You are looking at spending $100 on a sportsbra. I personally would avoid ordering anything online b/c it really needs to fit perfectly. Any bra boutique should have a wide range of sizes and people who are trained at fitting you properly. They often have tailors who can alter a bra to make it fit better. Different people have different preferences for bra companies because even with the same size every style/design fits differently I personally love Chantelle (but serious $$$) and Fantasie.

After years of hating my chest I now know how to dress to complement it and absolutely love how I look. I am a modest dresser (long sleeves, skirts, head covered) so I definitely don't show off my chest but I do think it gives me nice figure. It's also convenient for breastfeeding b/c I can nurse off either side while lying down on my side and I can easily sit while DD stands and nurses. So there are some real pros.


----------



## One_Girl (Feb 8, 2008)

It sounds like you are doing great. My mom was small breasted but very supportive. She celebrated my big breasts, told me the kids were jealous of me when I developed early and big, and taught me to be proud of them. She said everyone wants big breasts and I should be proud of them. Even though I was teased at school until junior high I didn't develop a feeling of shame about my breasts. I have always counted them as one of the best parts of me. I plan on doing the same thing with dd whether she is big or small breasted. My mom was very good at celebrating bodies and academic work no matter what and that is what I try to do with my dd now that she is hitting puberty because that is what I remember most about my childhood, not the mistakes but that I was someone good worth celebrating.


----------



## Super~Single~Mama (Sep 23, 2008)

I don't have much in the way of advice, but for bras that expensive I would definitely make sure that they are being cared for properly to get the maximum use out of them.


----------



## Norasmomma (Feb 26, 2008)

I'm a 36DD, I've been since age 13, in one summer I went from wanting to stuff my bra to spilling out of every bra I had. I've been a D/DD most all my life. I was professionally fitted at 14, my mom said very frankly that I was large busted and needed support, she was never catty about it, I can't believe that some of the women on here had bad experiences with their mothers due to their busts, how sad









I have some advice on buying bras, I've found for myself that Victoria's secret body by Victoria are my bra of choice. We are low fund, BUT I know when their sales are. VS has 2 semi-annual sales a year, so I buy then and find shipping or coupon codes to get more off. I'll buy 5 bras for the price of 2. I also take really good care of them, use lingerie bags to wash them on gentle cycle.

This year I also got my swimsuits from Lands' End and I got them on a fabulous sale, I did spend about $150, but I got mix and match sets, which enable me to make 6 different combos for suits.

I sign up for e-mails and get the shipping codes and sales sent to me, I also search the web for the discounts.


----------



## Linda on the move (Jun 15, 2005)

Clothing issues:

T-shirts just don't work! And last year it was a bit of an issue at her middle school because they had school T-shirts for PE, matching T-shirts with their homeroom for certain events, matching T-shirts with their field day teams, etc. DD had to wear the biggest size available and it hung to her knees.









She's going to a new school this year, and hopefully there won't be anything like that. Her new school is a combined middle and high school, which I think will be good for her in lots of ways. She looks like a high school or college student, so it will be nice for her to not be the oldest looking/most developed girl in the entire school.

She prefers loose fitting clothes and doesn't care if she looks chubby. She has started wearing more colors and is enjoying her clothes more instead of just using them to hide, though, so that seems positive.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thyra* 
I don't have much in the way of advice, but for bras that expensive I would definitely make sure that they are being cared for properly to get the maximum use out of them.

They are being well cared for.







I also asked the fitter yesterday to review proper care with her because my DD's bras are so different from mine that I wasn't sure if there was a whole different protocol.

She is out growing them faster than wearing them out at this point. It's a little like trying to keep a toddler in shoes.









(Anything that is in good shape when she is finished with it gets passed to a battered women's shelter because I've heard they have a really hard time providing larger sizes to women)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Norasmomma* 
I can't believe that some of the women on here had bad experiences with their mothers due to their busts, how sad









same here! It also sounds like some moms are envious, which seems beyond twisted to me.

Quote:

BUT I know when their sales are. VS has 2 semi-annual sales a year,
DD is doing really well at Dillards, but you are right that I should find out how to get good deals on them. They must go on sale at some point!

I'm also a little concerned about this in the future because we can afford to buy these things for her, but I'm sure she'll have a tighter budget when she is first on her own, straight out of college or whatever. I want to help her learn the skills she needs to take good care of herself her whole life.

She and I talked today and I passed on some of the thoughts from this thread, and let her know that it's OK to hang out at home without a bra or to sleep in one, or whatever makes her comfortable. She laughed at the idea of ever being happy about being big busted.


----------



## gbailey (Mar 10, 2009)

OP, I admire how you are handling the situation with your DD. Bloomingdales has a bra club if they happen to sell the bra that suits your daughter best. You get a discount after buying a certain number of bras and then at some point one for free.

I get a lot of my bras (36DD) at Macy's when they are having a buy one, get one free sale. Discounters like Marshall's and Loehmanns also have a great bra selection (depending on the location).


----------



## Norasmomma (Feb 26, 2008)

Most major retailers (JC Penney, Macy's, Nordstrom, Kohl's) usually have bra clubs. You buy X get Y(discounted or free).

Also I would check different blogs/discount/couponing sites for when the deals are. Hot Coupon World has areas in their site dedicated to sales at Macy's, etc to know when the sales are. There's a cycle to sales of anything, find your favorite store and find out when they are.

Fat wallet and Slickdeals also have inside scoops to sales, HTH.


----------



## PGTlatte (Mar 7, 2004)

I came back to add - Lands End swimsuits go on sale at the end of the season so its a good time to get suits with good bras. Another trick I learned from the swim instructors at the pool this summer...the "uniform" swimsuit they all had to wear apparently didn't have much of a bra in it, because half the ladies (and they are very young adults and older teens) were wearing black or red inexpensive-looking sports bras under their swimsuits ! (the swimsuits were red with black trim so their bras matched). I don't know why I never thought to add an inexpensive sports bra under my swimsuit but I tried it and loved it ! These are not sports bras I would actually jog in - they are the kind you can pick up at any discount store...but they added a nice extra support to the swimsuit's bra.


----------



## mtm (Dec 4, 2003)

Just wanted to second the double check Lands End, esp the overstocks area. I picked up a 89$ DD suit for 29$ this summer and see deals in larger sizes fairly often.

oh and you can search by bra size to make it easier.


----------



## marisa724 (Oct 31, 2003)

As for deals - I wear a 34G now (was 34D/DD at your daughter's age). I have become quite the bargain shopper lately, especially for bras and swimsuits, since they're so pricey!

I favor the Wacoal bras, and they're routinely at least $50 each. Now that I know what size and style flatters me and feels comfortable, I check in on eBay every once in a while to see if someone has "seconds" or something. Often the "odd" colors -- like pink or purple or animal print -- might be remaindered for cheap.

I also buy swimsuits from Lands End, but I try to buy ahead off season and never pay full price! They have excellent sales, you have to check the "Overstocks" section on their website. They even have a section called "On the Counter" where they put leftover stuff once a week, at a great discount. I got a plain brown tankini top in 34DDD for only $4.99! I just went and chose bottoms from their regular section that would match, so even though those were close to full price, it wound up being around $35 for a complete, well-fitting suit.


----------



## PPK (Feb 15, 2007)

I'm a 36D (but was an A-cup till I blossomed at 25







), so I only have some clothing advice:

As far as T-shirts go, I buy what fits up top and then do a quick straight stitch along either side of the shirt, and then hem it a bit if necessary. I'm not a great seamstress, but this is a super easy fix and you can tailor it to your daughter's body.

For me, I no longer do smocked tops, no t-shirts that come all the way to my neck (I get a uniboob look and it maximizes), no baby-doll tops or empire waists, no maxi-dresses, not really halters either, winter coats I like to have them button and have an open collar, like a petticoat..just nothing that has to button across my chest, it seems to pull and look funky...there was alot of stuff I had to get rid of then!

And I love to run, so I wear 2 sports bras usually. I just go to Acadamey and try them on in smaller sizes till I find what works AND I make small v-cuts in the band when I get home; I get a smaller size to keep me stable, but need to cut the band to breathe easier and for comfort.


----------



## marisa724 (Oct 31, 2003)

Oh, I forgot one of my points!









If you're shopping from Lands End anyway, check their clearance for t-shirts. Their "Modern" fit has a more feminine cut but is still generously sized (M is like a 10/12 and fits me well). In general you want things that are cut for women, so they dip in at the waist and don't hang like a nightshirt.

American Apparel's women's t-shirts are good too -- you just have to size up a bit since they're cut small. I take a women's XXL but your daughter may only need a XL, check the measurements.


----------



## Super~Single~Mama (Sep 23, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Linda on the move* 

They are being well cared for.







I also asked the fitter yesterday to review proper care with her because my DD's bras are so different from mine that I wasn't sure if there was a whole different protocol.

She is out growing them faster than wearing them out at this point. It's a little like trying to keep a toddler in shoes.









(Anything that is in good shape when she is finished with it gets passed to a battered women's shelter because I've heard they have a really hard time providing larger sizes to women)

I'm also a little concerned about this in the future because we can afford to buy these things for her, but I'm sure she'll have a tighter budget when she is first on her own, straight out of college or whatever. I want to help her learn the skills she needs to take good care of herself her whole life.


I think thats SO AWESOME that you donate the ones in good condition!! Go you!

Also, as far as the future goes, maybe you can give her a budget for bras before college (she'll know which ones are best by then, which last longest, are most comfy, etc) and then if she takes care of them hopefully they'll last a while. Then you can give gift cert's to her fave bra stores for x-mas/b-days or whatever every so often. I wouldn't worry about that until its an issue


----------



## sept04mama (Mar 3, 2004)

I think it's great that you're helping her so much. My mom would only spend $15 per bra at that age for me and so I wore too little bras that poked me. (and she is big, just refuses to wear bras that fit or to even get fitted)

I would mention bfing to her as a consideration if she starts talking reduction. I wouldn't have considered that (being able to bf) when I was younger, but glad I didn't get a reduction (yet) because of that.

Also, I second the land's end overstocks- I have never paid more than 9.99 per piece, but they don't go terribly huge, only to a DDD, so I can't wear them anymore. (at least not modestly)

For me (being about the same size as her at that age- now a 36J) the biggest thing was the emotional side. People assume you're promiscuous or slutty or something just because of your body. I got a LOT of unwanted attention from grown men as well as boys my age. Sometimes it IS all people see, and there is not a whole lot you can do about it, you can't control other people. I guess I don't know what to do about that except understand that she'll need emotional support for it.


----------



## rightkindofme (Apr 14, 2008)

I was a 36C (I thought) for my teenage years and then I got a professional fitting at 22 and found out I was really a 34E. Big difference! Victoria's Secret will cheerfully tell you that you are the wrong size because they don't carry a wide variety of sizes and they want to sell bras. I have a major grudge against them at this point. I'm sorry, but if I'm a 34E a 38C is just not going to work for me. (Seriously--I've had more than one employee tell me this.)

I'm thrilled that Bravissimo was already mentioned! One of the best things about them (in my opinion) is that they will quite cheerfully do mail order exchanges of size if the bra doesn't fit perfectly. You only have to pay for shipping back (which does add up) but I have found that it is worth it to have truly comfortable, pretty bras.

I'm another one who doesn't wear a bra much.







I wear them when I care about how my breasts look under a particular piece of clothing (like a more tailored shirt) but when I'm at home or wearing a loose t-shirt I just don't care. It took a while but at this point it is really comfy to not wear bras.

I also really enjoyed the book Breasts: Our Most Public Private Parts when I was a teenager.


----------



## LROM (Sep 10, 2008)

It's so great that you're really paying attention both to her actual physical needs, as well as her emotional concern around her breasts. Sounds like you've got a great handle on the situation!

I saw where you said you won't mention a reduction to her at this age. I understand that, but please make sure you DO talk to her about discomfort and pain and that she needs to tell you if she ever starts to feel back pain or shoulder pain or notice that the bra is leaving actual indentation marks that don't just go away after a little while.

If she wants to know what you'll do if she does have any o fthat, just say it's good to go to the doctor to make sure she doesn't need "even more support" or whatever. But because I know several women who had serious pain and back problems because of really large breasts, any pain you can save her is probably really well spent time.

Btw it's great that she's back out participating in summer activities and feeling better. That's the most important part (along with physical health). Nice job!


----------



## noobmom (Jan 19, 2008)

You might want to look into minimizer bras for your DD if her breasts are more prominent than she likes. They can make a big difference. I'm large breasted and embrace it now, but as a teenager I would have preferred a smaller bust!


----------



## tuppence (Feb 18, 2005)

I like Lane Bryant bras and I wear a 40DDD--they're cute, reasonably long lasting and are often on massive sale. They also have matching undies and come in a variety of cuts.

I find that VS bras are not really supportive.

As others have said--baby doll and peasant tops may be a problem and smocked tops too. For t-shirts, I cut a v-neck in them and gives the bust more space so the top doesn't pull, but yeah, that can be hard when they're required.


----------



## NaturallyKait (Sep 22, 2006)

Your daughter is so lucky to have a mom who is helping her out!

I'm large chested. Somewhere around an E cup I do believe (I need a fitting badly) and my mother is smaller than an A cup. She never really tried to help me because she didn't know anything about bras since she never wears them. She bought me them when I needed them but they were always really flimsy with no support (like she wore the very few times she ever needed them) and didn't help at all. I wish she could have taken me somewhere to get a fitting or something, or even just talked to me about it. I was really ashamed of my breasts because my mother always made it seem like they were my fault, talking about how I had to be careful because boys will stare and it's disgraceful to show too much. I remember one day a classmate made fun of me because my boobs were "saggy" and I didn't wear a bra and I went home crying to my mom and she just told me she thought I was smart enough to know to wear one 24/7.


----------



## eepster (Sep 20, 2006)

Great going on the well fitting bras. When I was a teen, I just couldn't find any bras that were really my size except horrible old lady ones. I ended up wearing 36Ds even though I was really a 32DD. 36 was the smallest band size available in a D outside specialty stores. The size range is much better these days, though it was still an issue for nursing bras







.

If she wants any shirts or dresses that button up the front, you can sew hooks and eyes in the gap between the buttons to keep them from pulling across the chest.

You might want to talk to her about handling unwanted attention from boys.


----------



## MadiMamacita (Jan 29, 2006)

just wanted to step in and second Lane Bryant/Cacique. They have 36DDD and right now everything in the store is 40% off.


----------



## Jane (May 15, 2002)

Thirding Lane Bryant - even if she's not anywhere near a lane bryant clothing size, they are like the Vickie's for bigger boobs. Cute!

Also, Walmart has significantly larger bras than Target. I was thrilled to buy a $5 38DDD or a 40DD there. The largest Target sells is a DD. It's not a Wacoal - love them! - but it covers the territorry while the other's wash.

Also seconding Nordie's Rack. That's the only place I buy Wacoals anymore. They are amazing bras. Occasionally they have nursing bras, too.


----------



## Linda on the move (Jun 15, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LROM* 
I understand that, but please make sure you DO talk to her about discomfort and pain and that she needs to tell you if she ever starts to feel back pain or shoulder pain or notice that the bra is leaving actual indentation marks that don't just go away after a little while.

Good idea! I'm hoping that by having well fitted, supportive bras and decent posture, we can head off back problems, but I will talk to her.

The thing the bothered me the most when she went through her hunched over phase was what she would do to be back, and if walking around like that while she is still growing could mess up her bones somehow.

She doesn't get a lot of attention from boys. She has some special needs and is on the autism spectrum. She has no desire to be part of the social loop. I think it would be a very different issue for a girl with a bubble personality.

I really appreciate everyone's input!


----------



## ShanaV (Aug 5, 2010)

Big bosom here, too. It is FABULOUS that you've gotten her fitted properly so early. I didn't get fitted properly until I was 27 or so. I had many, many years of ill-fitting bras making me uncomfortable, really bad under-boob-sweat, as well as looking and feeling heavier than I am. Pre-pregnancy I was a 32G-H. Now that I'm nursing I am 34L. Yes, L. I could probably use an M if I could find one.

I'd say buying 2 at a time is fine. I only buy 2 at a time for myself. Sometimes 3 at once if they're really awesome and/or I am in dire need, for example, if my size has changed drastically.

And yes, the price range is always $50-100 each. Sucks, but it's worth it to have well-fitting brassieres.

I bought my bras pre-preg from Nordstrom. Excellent size selection and good customer service. They didn't try to push me into buying anything that didn't honestly fit. (Total opposite of VS -- the pp who said VS sales associates will cheerfully tell you you're whatever size they have in stock is correct! That's happened to me so many times, right as the bra falls down my ribs b/c it's too big around and sags my boobs b/c the cups are too small.)

Since needing maternity/nursing bras I've frequented www.herroom.com and www.figleaves.com. They have some excellent videos on bra sizing that might make your DD feel better about herself and her size too.

HerRoom: http://www.herroom.com/bra-fitting-advice,901,30.html
FigLeaves: http://www.figleaves.com/us/fitting_...a4_fittingroom


----------



## snoopy5386 (May 6, 2005)

I want to throw www.decentexposures.com into the mix here. I am also large breasted - 32 G right now, I was a C in middle school, a D in high school, a DD in college and now a G. I was a super tomboy as a kid and hated developing breasts and of course I was one of the first to do so. Anyways I love, love, love my Decent Exposures bras. They are not at all pretty (which may very well appeal to your DD, I know they would have appealed to me at that age) but they are very, very comfy. And they make custom tank tops and swmsuits as well. A bra from them runs about $50 so a bit cheaper too.


----------



## PatienceAndLove (Jan 5, 2008)

I am throwing my money in with Lane Bryant, as well!
The ladies there have always been more than helpful! My size (40G) is never carried in-store, but they always cheerfully order my bra and have it shipped to my house (sans shipping!) because I am usually buying a few other items at the same time.

"Modern" cut shirts are also a blessing (as a PP mentioned) because it keeps larger chested ladies from looking like we are wearing a potato sack! I have also had some good luck with the Just My Size shirts at Walmart, and the "Plus Size" section at Target offers some really cute stuff every once in a while.
OH! And Old Navy has super cute plus size shirts that fit fabulously!


----------



## butterfly_mommy (Oct 22, 2007)

I also LOVE my lane Bryant bras and make trips to the US to buy them when they have crazy deals. I once got 6 bras for like 60 bucks! I wear a 42 E now, well actually that's what I wore before DS and not sure what I wear now.

I developed very early, I wore my first bra in grade 4 and was a 36 DDD by grade 8.

I think you are doing fantastic. Just wanted to add that I love my Enell sports bra it is like armour but I get no bounce when I run! My breasts and the pain and embarrassment of them bouncing is why I stopped being active in school







I wish I had a good sports bra when I was growing up. Really really important!


----------



## Sfcmama (Aug 29, 2010)

I agree that you are doing a great job. I didn't get professionally fit until I was an adult I think this majorly effected my self image. She probably only needs a few bras at a time as she is likely to change sizes quickly as she grows. As for sports bras, I like the Enell (sp?). Another tip, your DD may find sleeping in a tank with a shelf bra more comfortable than nothing at all. I actually starting sleeping in nursing tanks when pregnant and wished I'd been doing it sooner.
She's lucky to have you!


----------



## snarky (Nov 8, 2006)

A few posters above mentioned talking to your daughter about unwanted male attention, and minimizing/dealing with that. Nobody mentioned talking to her about the converse - what happens if the attention that she is getting becomes wanted.

I was a shy, awkward kid with few friends - until I developed and boys were interested in me. Because I wanted some positive attention, I was pleased to have this attention and did, in fact, become sexually active earlier and with more partners than I might have otherwise.

I would put the conversation to her as you would have a conversation with any teenage girl (ie, it's not about her breasts), but the time to start having ongoing conversations about healthy relationships and sex is now (if you haven't already).

ps - Nordstroms has lingerie sales quarterly, I got 4 36DDD bras for $200 at the end of July


----------



## Mulvah (Aug 12, 2008)

You got some great advice already. I think it's fantastic you are taking the whole situation seriously. I think it will make all the difference for your daughter.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gbailey* 
OP, I admire how you are handling the situation with your DD....

Me too!


----------



## Linda on the move (Jun 15, 2005)

Thank you!

I feel like I'm walking a thin line on the "we are happy to pay for this" BUT "these are really expensive so please please take care of them" issue. It's tricky.

I do feel lucky and blessed to be able to spend so much money on certain things and I never want to her to feel guilty about it, at the same time, she's 13 and left her $98 swim suit on the bath room floor twice last week. It's age appropriate, and I try not to nag her more/differently than I do her sister for leaving her $14 suit on the floor. I'd love to buy one on clearance this fall for her, but I really don't know what size she'll be next spring so it seems a bit pointless.

I'm excited to have so many more stores and options to check out with her.

I do talk about relationships, sex, etc. When we watch movies together, we talk about the characters and what she thinks of their choices, whether the movie seems realistic etc. I read some of the same books she reads and those are often spring points for conversations too.

I also bought a couple of very open books on puberty related issues and have them where the kids can look things up when they want to. She has access to solid information and knows that the choices she makes are her own, and that we will always love and support her.

One of the things that I've tried to teach my girls is that sex can change the way you feel about a person, making the emotions more intense, and as painful as it is when a relationship ends, it can be even worse when they relationship was sexual.

I've let them know that I have their insurance cards and if they ever want to go on the pill or whatever, they can just say so. I've shown them where condems are in stores, how inexpensive they are. None the less, I've encourage them to wait until they are adults and to be very selective. It's a thin line. Sex is a natural part of life, and yet I don't think anyone is best off being ruled by their whims. I think sex is best as part of a solid relationship where you care about the whole person, and you know that they care about you as a whole person.

Still, we don't get to make those choices for our teens. What ever choices she makes, I want to stay as safe as possible.


----------



## patriciaarnold (Oct 11, 2018)

I am a 38dd. I ballooned to ff when feeding
I was an early developer following my mum who was large breasted as well.
These genes I psst on to my daughter who is an we cup. 
Me being 5 ft 3 mine look like with been done or with horrible sweet producing molded bras look like domes.
I tend not to wear a bra about the house. Sometimes I ho out without one as well but need some light support. But have had odd embarrassing moments
My mum tool me regularly for measurements. At 12 I was tiny in height with these two huge balloons in front of me. 14 I was 28 dd/e. By then I had come to love my charms as mum called them
My daughter is 18 and over last year has gone up a cup size.


----------

