# Am I unreasonable about this?



## Just1More (Jun 19, 2008)

So, we went to the beach today. My 4 and 2 yo were running over the dunes ahead of me, and a BIG black dog comes running and barking towards them. Unleashed. Granted, I could tell he was probably going to be friendly, and my kids are used to dogs so they didn't flip out. But, I was also carrying the baby, a bag full of stuff, and the sand buckets. I couldn't exactly drop it all and go running.

This was the "no dogs" beach, and the "leash law" here in the neighborhood is common and enforced. There is a dog beach about mile down the road.

I am an owner of an always leashed large dog. I am not afraid of dogs, but, also having owned a mostly German Shepherd, I respect the power of a large dog, and the control and responsibility they require.

And I was really mad. And probably a little less civil than I could have been.

They said hi. I said hi with an annoyed tone. The dog was circling my kids, and as high as my 4yo chest. I said, "I'm not okay with your dog following my kids around. Dogs aren't supposed to be here. I left mine home for that exact reason." She said, "I thought they were okay." (Yeah, whatever...it's posted ALL OVER that they are NOT. And a big dog running unleashed at my children and barking is NEVER okay. And you didn't call it back. But I didn't say any of that.) I said, "I don't care as long as he stays down here." And I turned and led my kids a ways down the beach. She didn't leash it, but it didn't bother us.

But I was really irked.

It was apparently a nice dog.

Was I a jerk?


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## Irishmommy (Nov 19, 2001)

You sound nicer than I would have been.


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## number572 (Aug 25, 2004)

Aww, no you were just letting her know that you are aware of that dog's power and that your concern is your kids. I had a large dog that used to freak people out b'c of her size, we would tie bright colored bandanas around her neck to make her more friendly looking! As a dog owner, I understand how it is to want to give your dog a fun, free running time & honestly there are not so many dog friendly parks, etc. Its a delicate balance of keeping the dog leashed at all times or being off-lead while being on the lookout for kids, older people, other dogs or animals etc etc. When my dog has been too quick off leash & run up to someone, I feel out the situation & apologize if the other person is offended at all. I have been approached by unfriendly, off-lead dogs and some owners (i think) get a kick out of seeing their dog frighten others! I have had this happen a few times & the owner is actually smiling while I'm standing very still saying "get your dog please". Long winded reply, but no, I think you're fine to say what you said.


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## Grace and Granola (Oct 15, 2005)

I don't know. I am the owner of a very large, but very well behaved dog. He went through obedience training and wouldn't hurt a fly. I think I might forget that people don't know that about my dog. That they should trust me because I know my dog. However, if someone pointed out their discomfort with my dog being on the beach and unleashed....it would definitely remind me that I need to leash my dog and take him elsewhere. I wouldn't so casually disregard someone else's discomfort.


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## philomom (Sep 12, 2004)

I don't like big dogs. And I loathe big dog owners that let dogs be in the wrong places and do the wrong things.

Here in Portland, we have wonderful street fountains on the sidewalk.. so you can get a drink of water anytime you like.... I can't drink at them now or let my kids drink at them because many a time.. I've seen a big dog up on two legs lapping the fountain at his owner's request.







Gross!


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## Just1More (Jun 19, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Grace and Granola* 
I don't know. I am the owner of a very large, but very well behaved dog. He went through obedience training and wouldn't hurt a fly. I think I might forget that people don't know that about my dog. That they should trust me because I know my dog. However, if someone pointed out their discomfort with my dog being on the beach and unleashed....it would definitely remind me that I need to leash my dog and take him elsewhere. I wouldn't so casually disregard someone else's discomfort.

Would your dog have run up to my kids barking and circling them?

Would you have deliberately taken your dog to "no dogs" beach?

Would have unleashed your dog at the bottom of a hill where it would be impossible to know ahead of time what might come over it?

Would you not even be watching your unleashed dog in a public area, and distracted with your child?


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## number572 (Aug 25, 2004)

Oh ok! I thought you wanted other perspectives. Its ok if you just wanted to gripe about dog owners who let their dogs off leash. I'm sure it will be said a billion times that there are leash laws yada yada


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## Just1More (Jun 19, 2008)

Yes, I am still annoyed. Sorry to bite back on the internet.

My response was honest. Would you have done those things and thought it was okay? Why? Because you trusted your dog? Had you been the dog owner in the situation in the OP, would you have thought I was a jerk?

I did want other perspectives. I wanted to know if I was out of line to be so mad.

I would have rolled my eyes had there been a dog there, but wouldn't have said anything or even been bothered by it if it had been in control (leashed or not) and not run up to us while it's owner didn't even do anything. I was bothered that it was up on the kids, friendly or not. And I couldn't know right away if it was, in fact, friendly.


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## nameisrio (Aug 30, 2008)

No, I don't blame you at all. You can never trust an animal you don't know. Another reason there are dog beaches and no dog beaches - dogs poop on the sand and nobody likes to step in it or put their towel down in it. I'm so sick of coming home from a walk with crap on my shoes!


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## number572 (Aug 25, 2004)

I get it. You have every right to be upset if something threatening or uncertain is running toward your kids & your hands are full & your body is under the weight of beach gear & a child. Yes, the dog's owner should have been the one running after her dog when she saw children. Maybe she got the feeling that all seemed ok & that she knew that her dog is kid friendly? Not excusing her, obviously it frightened you which is not cool, but, maybe that was what was in her mind.


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## Shera971 (Nov 26, 2008)

You were absolutely right.

I have a large dog. He is ALWAYS leashed and whenever I see people, I always put him on a heel. I know that he will be fine greeting strangers BUT the strangers don't know that. Especially children. Even children who are used to dogs can be intimidated by a large dog running at them and barking. My biggest pet peeve is when a dog (large or small) comes running up to me and the owners are WAAAYYYY behind yelling "Its ok, he's friendly." Really? How do you know I am a dog person? How do you know I am not absolutely terrified of dogs?

If a dog owner wants to walk their dog off leash in a regularly leashed area I don't mind. As long as they keep a close eye on their dog and keep it close to them and not let it 'run amok'.


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## MCR (Nov 20, 2001)

I'm not a dog lover. I'd have been panicked if I'd have been alone with my arms full and seen a big dog heading towards my kids, unleashed and circling them. Friendly or not people should be more responsible, the dog beach was further up and the signs said no dogs, I would not have been so nice, probably after I screamed from where I was as it got to my kids.


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## Grace and Granola (Oct 15, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Just1More* 
Would your dog have run up to my kids barking and circling them?

Would you have deliberately taken your dog to "no dogs" beach?

Would have unleashed your dog at the bottom of a hill where it would be impossible to know ahead of time what might come over it?

Would you not even be watching your unleashed dog in a public area, and distracted with your child?

My dog would have run up to your kids to sniff the heck out of them! I would have immediately called him back or grabbed his collar so as not to be a pest to you and your kids.

I wouldn't deliberately take my dog to a no dogs beach, but had I been a vacationer and not seen the signs, I might be there with my dog.

The hill thing...I have no idea.

If the beach was really busy, I would definitely have the dog on a leash. But if there were hardly any people there, I might get distracted with my kid for a minute. But the minute I saw my dog running at or sniffing someone, I would have noticed and taken action.

I'm sorry you're so upset with this. I think the dog owner's reaction to your discomfort is probably the worst offense. I would assume the best in a person, but I do see how you're irritated by their lack of response.

I am not defending the dog owner....I'm just saying I can see where they MIGHT be coming from, although they might just be self-involved people who don't care about anyone else's feelings!


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## MCR (Nov 20, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shera971* 
You were absolutely right.

I have a large dog. He is ALWAYS leashed and whenever I see people, I always put him on a heel. I know that he will be fine greeting strangers BUT the strangers don't know that. Especially children. Even children who are used to dogs can be intimidated by a large dog running at them and barking. My biggest pet peeve is when a dog (large or small) comes running up to me and the owners are WAAAYYYY behind yelling "Its ok, he's friendly." Really? How do you know I am a dog person? How do you know I am not absolutely terrified of dogs?

If a dog owner wants to walk their dog off leash in a regularly leashed area I don't mind. As long as they keep a close eye on their dog and keep it close to them and not let it 'run amok'.

Thank you for being a good dog owner and realizing some of us are big wussies when it comes to dogs in general. He's friendly doesn't help me in the least, I don't like or want the dog near me.


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## Just1More (Jun 19, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Grace and Granola* 
My dog would have run up to your kids to sniff the heck out of them! I would have immediately called him back or grabbed his collar so as not to be a pest to you and your kids.

I wouldn't deliberately take my dog to a no dogs beach, but had I been a vacationer and not seen the signs, I might be there with my dog.

The hill thing...I have no idea.

If the beach was really busy, I would definitely have the dog on a leash. But if there were hardly any people there, I might get distracted with my kid for a minute. But the minute I saw my dog running at or sniffing someone, I would have noticed and taken action.

I'm sorry you're so upset with this. I think the dog owner's reaction to your discomfort is probably the worst offense. I would assume the best in a person, but I do see how you're irritated by their lack of response.

I am not defending the dog owner....I'm just saying I can see where they MIGHT be coming from, although they might just be self-involved people who don't care about anyone else's feelings!

Thank you. So, from her perspective, it really wasn't a big deal.

And, you're right. If the lady would have called her dog, and then apoligized for it running up to them, I would have been cool. Thanks for getting it down to why it bugged me so much.


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## Peony (Nov 27, 2003)

I like dogs, this is the first time where I haven't had one but I would of been annoyed as well. I do not trust strange dogs around my children and as much as I like dogs, there is a time and a place for them, a dog free beach is not one of them.


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## gcgirl (Apr 3, 2007)

I don't have a dog right now, but we always had biggish dogs in our family, and I would NEVER ASSUME someone else would be comfortable with my dog just running free. Especially in an area with NO DOGS except on a leash liberally posted. I mean, it's one thing to know your dog is safe, and something entirely different to assume someone ELSE should know that. I think that dog owner was way too blase about it.

You have every right to be mad. I hope the dog owner takes a lesson from this, and it sounds like you were relatively civil under the circumstances.


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## One_Girl (Feb 8, 2008)

I hate it when people don't follow the leash rules. We have stopped going to one of our local parks because every time we go a dog chases my dd or tries to jump on her while she is trying to cross the monkey bars and she was becoming scared of dogs. Just because their nice doesn't mean it isn't scary to a kid (or adult) to have one circling them and jumping on them.


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## MJB (Nov 28, 2009)

I'm not scared of dogs, I grew up with German shepherds, but I don't like them. At all. Excepting especially cute puppies. They smell, drool, bark, poop everywhere, and are just generally yucky to me.
I am always irritated when people let their dog, leashed or not, walk up and sniff/lick me or my kids. My kids like dogs, but the owner doesn't know that. My children have been taught to ask, "May I pet your dog?" before going near a strange dog and the dogs ought to have similar rules, IMO. It's an invasion of personal space to let your animal come up and touch me in any way.
Also, dog poop in the sand is just gross. There is a dog beach nearby especially for them! I would have pointed out that dogs are not allowed on that beach and directed them to the dog beach.


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## Anglyn (Oct 25, 2004)

Once when my oldest was about two or three we were having breakfast in the park, he was seated at a stone picnic table eating and this huge but very friendly dog ran up and ATE HIS FOOD! The dog ran off wagging it's tail while my son wailed and the dog owner apologized profusely. I waved it off as I had more food with us, but that wasn't really the point. The guy should have controlled his dog, but he normally walked the dog, leash free, early in the morning because the park was generally empty. I do understand that. However, had it been an aggressive dog, things could have gone much worse, It was really, really annoying and it scared the crap out of me to see a big dog rush my tiny child. So I understand. I'm dog lover/owner myself. Still keep them on leashes in public places though. Just common courtesy.


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## pumpkin (Apr 8, 2003)

You were not unreasonable. Responsible dog owners do not let their dogs run up to others, especially children.

It drives me crazy that people do not take responsibility for their animals. I have pets. I know their temperaments. I still err on the side of protecting people since animals can be unpredictable. I would hate for someone to get hurt because I didn't do my job.


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## ElaynesMom (May 24, 2008)

I'm of the opinion that all dogs should be leashed in public places unless it is an off leash area specifically. So no, I don't think you were unreasonable.

I'm not afraid of dogs, but I personally don't care how friendly a dog is, unless I go up to you and ask if I may pet your dog, then I likely don't want your dog around me. I don't want to be licked. I don't want to get dog hair on my clothes, I don't want dogs to jump on me, or sniff my crotch. Nor do I want dogs to do these things to my child. It seems a lot (not all) dog owners feel that because they love their dog and their dog doesn't bite that everyone should be fine having their dog just come running up to them. This isn't the case. A lot of people don't care, some people find it annoying, and others are terrified or allergic. There is a reason off leash areas exist.


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

Were you a jerk? No way! You were polite but firm and rightfully angry. That's entirely fair.


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## SunshineJ (Mar 26, 2008)

I am a huge animal lover, and we have a large dog ourselves. With that being said, I would have been pissed off to no end! You do NOT let your large animal who has the ability to completely maul a small child run free and bound towards my offspring! While most dogs are generally stable and their temperments well known to their owners, there is always the possibility, no matter how remote, that something may spook them or hit them wrong and they will act in an unpredictable way. That's something that I know FAR better than I know your (stranger, general your) dog - as I know absolutely nothing about your dog! Except, of course, that it's coming straight for my children and I'm helpless to do anything about it. Considering that there was a dog friendly beach only a mile up the road, this isn't a matter of there not being anywhere else for them to take their dog - and heck, what dog owner doesn't love to take their dog to the beach? We always enjoyed that when we lived in Florida! I think many people forget just how powerful and what kind of damage a large dog can do to a small child, and only think that "my dog is friendly so it's not a problem".


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## Purple*Lotus (Nov 1, 2007)

I think you were fine, OP.

I think that more dog owners need to be respectful of people with fears or allergies. I am in the latter catagory.

If a dog comes up to me and sniffs me or touches any part of my body, I will break out in a rash and begin to gasp for air. I have to go home, strip, shower, wash my hair, neti pot, take even more allergy medicine than I already take on a regular basis. I even had to wash my purse after I went to meet with a lawyer for my upcoming divorce and was greeted by a german shepherd who licked me and rubbed up against me. And she wondered why I turned and ran back out the door! It is one thing to go in to an office and see a dog- like, naturally there are service dogs, but another to be licked and rubbed on by one. I think that is so wrong









I can no longer attend family functions that are not at my Mom and Dad's house because everyone in the family thinks it is okay to let their dogs jump on me and then they say "Oh we didn't know J was allergic to dog." Um, okay so you have known me for 31 years and I had and allergic reaction to your dog last Christmas/Easter, etc, and you STILL DON'T KNOW that I am allergic to dogs? How insensitive









Sorry, this is one of my buttons









ETA: I wanted to say that I am not a dog hater







I like dogs. I admire them playing from a distance and will say polite things to my neighbor's dog from a distance







I just don't want it to touch me.


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## pianojazzgirl (Apr 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SunshineJ* 
I think many people forget just how powerful and what kind of damage a large dog can do to a small child, and only think that "my dog is friendly so it's not a problem".

I absolutely agree. And in fact in my days long before children my dh and I (he was my boyfriend then) had a medium-sized dog who was very well trained and well behaved and we always walked her off-leash. I just didn't *get it* at that stage in my life that other people might be afraid, or just unappreciative of my dog coming up to them or their kids. I figured she was a sweetheart so what's the big deal. Now that I'm older and a mom myself I have the opposite opinion. When I bring my dog in public (well, that is if we still had a dog) my first responsibility is to keep other people and their property safe - and safe-feeling (if that makes sense).


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## 4myfinn (Dec 29, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ElaynesMom* 
I'm not afraid of dogs, but I personally don't care how friendly a dog is, unless I go up to you and ask if I may pet your dog, then I likely don't want your dog around me. I don't want to be licked. I don't want to get dog hair on my clothes, I don't want dogs to jump on me, or sniff my crotch. Nor do I want dogs to do these things to my child. It seems a lot (not all) dog owners feel that because they love their dog and their dog doesn't bite that everyone should be fine having their dog just come running up to them. This isn't the case. A lot of people don't care, some people find it annoying, and others are terrified or allergic. There is a reason off leash areas exist.

























I love my dog, but I realize that everyone else may not be as entertained by her as I am. I HATE it when people ignore leash laws. I hate being approached by an off-leash dog when I have mine on a leash. It makes me nervous and my dog gets defensive, and, yes, dog fights have happened.

I think you were perfectly civil to the irresponsible dog owner. I don't think I would have been so nice.


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## betsyj (Jan 8, 2009)

Quote:

I love my dog, but I realize that everyone else may not be as entertained by her as I am. I HATE it when people ignore leash laws. I hate being approached by an off-leash dog when I have mine on a leash. It makes me nervous and my dog gets defensive, and, yes, dog fights have happened.
I feel the same way. My dog is well controlled, well trained and on leash. I live in a densely populated city and I am regularly approached by off leash dogs. I don't give a hoot if your dog is friendly (and most of the time the dog is NOT friendly-people are generally clueless about dog to dog interactions). I am not impressed with your "well" trained dog. If he is so well trained how come he is ignoring your repeated pleadings to "come?"

Leash laws exist for a reason and I obey them.

Obviously this is a huge pet peeve of mine and I LOVE dogs.

But, I am also well aware that the 3-5% of horrid or irresponsible dog owners have such a huge impact on the rest of us that sometimes it seems that all I do to ensure me and my dog are part of a civil society is all for naught.


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## A&A (Apr 5, 2004)

I'd be like, "no harm, no foul" with a dog.

But eeww, keep your cat away from me!!!!!!!!!!!


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## ErinBird (Dec 5, 2005)

I am wary of strange dogs in general and would have spelled out my concerns to the dog's owners.


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## southhavenjen (Jul 30, 2005)

I'm a dog owner and I get really annoyed with other dog owners who let their dogs run off leash. My dog does not like other dogs coming up to him, and often when we're out walking (my dog on leash), dogs run up, get in his face, and my dog tries to attack them. I hate it, I've got my dog under control, now keep yours under control so there's not a dog fight here on our hands.

Also, there are many people afraid of dogs. They should be able to be out in public without unleashed dogs coming up to them.


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## sioleabha (Jun 9, 2006)

I would have been upset. My middle son used to be terrified of large dogs, and that could have really upset him when he was younger. Also, you never know if someone else's kids might have developmental issues, and having a large, strange dog run over might be a really big problem.

I have a large dog. I have a black German Shepherd who is absolutely friendly and would never hurt a child. He WOULD, however, run right over and try to introduce himself. Which is why I do not take him anywhere without a leash, unless it is a place where unleashed dogs are specifically allowed. (And I get really annoyed that other people in my neighborhood let their dogs run around without a leash, because my dog does NOT like other dogs, and there's not a lot I can do if my big dog is on a leash and your tiny little yip yap dog is off-leash and running circles around my dog's feet.)

Now, if you were at the dogs-allowed beach, or a beach that allowed dogs off-leash, then I'd tell you to suck it up, it's not just your beach. But obviously that is not the case, so I don't think you were wrong at all.


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## sioleabha (Jun 9, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *southhavenjen* 
I'm a dog owner and I get really annoyed with other dog owners who let their dogs run off leash. My dog does not like other dogs coming up to him, and often when we're out walking (my dog on leash), dogs run up, get in his face, and my dog tries to attack them. I hate it, I've got my dog under control, now keep yours under control so there's not a dog fight here on our hands.

Yes, exactly! One of my neighbors was freaking out and yelling at me to keep my dog away from her precious little chihuahua -- when MY dog was on a leash, and HER dog was not. (And this was not in her yard or anything, we were in the street by the park.) Sure, my dog looked like he was trying to EAT her dog, but what does she want me to do? I can only control the one on the leash!


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## Pepper44 (May 16, 2006)

It would be one thing if the dog had accidentally gotten loose, or if she was very apologetic about the situation instead of obviously playing stupid.

I would be annoyed too! We have two big dogs, and I love dogs, but you never know if a dog will be friendly or not.

I would especially be annoyed that she was at the dog-free beach with her dog. I wouldn't want my kids to dig in the sand where the dog has just pooped and peed! That's why they have a dog beach area!


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ElaynesMom* 
I'm of the opinion that all dogs should be leashed in public places unless it is an off leash area specifically. So no, I don't think you were unreasonable.

I'm not afraid of dogs, but I personally don't care how friendly a dog is, unless I go up to you and ask if I may pet your dog, then I likely don't want your dog around me. I don't want to be licked. I don't want to get dog hair on my clothes, I don't want dogs to jump on me, or sniff my crotch. Nor do I want dogs to do these things to my child. It seems a lot (not all) dog owners feel that because they love their dog and their dog doesn't bite that everyone should be fine having their dog just come running up to them. This isn't the case. A lot of people don't care, some people find it annoying, and others are terrified or allergic. There is a reason off leash areas exist.


I am a dog owner and I feel the exact same way.

and I am so guilty of letting my dog get away from me (she gets really excited) and causing a ruckus. i would never act as though it was a small thing. i usually fall over myself apologizing, explaining what happened etc. I think your response was more than appropriate and more friendly than it needed to be. if a strange dog came up to my kids in a place they were specifically forbidden I would be ticked off.


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## neetling (Jan 24, 2006)

I'd be very angry as well. I do not like strange dogs coming at me and my kids. Too much could happen too quickly. I live in a residential neighborhood where people let their dogs roam and I HATE IT.


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## LavenderMae (Sep 20, 2002)

I would have been pissed. I have a child that is scared of dogs and he would have been terrified by what you described. It matters very little if the dog owner knows their dog is nice etc no one can know that and it can not and should not be assumed. It was irresponsible of the dog owner and you were nicer than I think I could have been (seeing my child terrified by someone else's irresponsibility doesn't bring out the best in me).


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## ps4624 (Apr 16, 2009)

I don't think you overreacted. I would expect a dog owner to follow leash laws. I would especially be upset about a dog coming towards my kids - even a well behaved animal can become aggressive given the right circumstances.


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## Bethla (May 29, 2004)

We go to a beach in Marin county where dogs can go off leash if they are under voice command. Well our dog is no where near that well behaved so she must stay on a leash. Once we went and no one else was really there so we let her run. We always carry plastic bags to clean up after her. I bought a book to research which beaches were dog beaches because I do not want to make the mistake of taking her somewhere inappropriate.


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## Just1More (Jun 19, 2008)

Yeah, one of the first things I always wonder about is how a strange dog would react if the child were to panic or scream? I'm glad dd kept her cool. She didn't act afraid of it at all, probably thanks to her being raised with our large dogs. Later she said she was, though, when it ran barking at her.

My husband was LIVID when I told him tonight. Heh. I'm kinda glad he wasn't there now, lol.

But, I think next time I will handle myself differently. I mean, I don't think I made the lady think anything but "dog hater blah blah blah..." But, that couldn't be farther from the truth. At one point, I actually owned 5, and it pained me when we had to pair down to two. And it's still killing me I had to give up my dog a few weeks ago. I can't wait to get back into dog-training, and I'm hoping now that dh is home, I can be afforded more of an opportunity.

So, next time (though I hope there never is one







), I think I'll try to "catch more flies with honey", and engage the owner in conversation about the issue. I'm sure that lady will do it again, and maybe, if I hadn't been short with her, I could have made her think.

So...how could I phrase the issue kindly and gently to help her see (or whoever...I"ll probably never see her again) why it's such a big deal?


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## *Erin* (Mar 18, 2002)

op,you were a lot nicer than i wouldve been. seriously, we live at the beach, too, and encounter the same issue from time to time. there are signs at EVERY beach access that clearly state the leash law, and there is just no excuse for someone to miss them. i *hate* when someone gets angry and/or defensive, because you just don't know how someones dog will react to your child. no matter what a sweet animal they are, they are still that, a strange animal. super annoying. and possibly dangerous. that's why there are laws.
i am with elaynes mom, too, i don't like to have a strange dog in my space or my child's.
edit to add
i think it's noble of you to try a kind approach. i lose my cool around this issue, and it's very hard for me to do that. i admire that you are gonna give it a go.


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## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

That would have irritated me, but I doubt I would have said anything (just b/c I'm non-confrontational).

Yesterday we were at the beach and I had read the kids the rules posted when we got there (I can't recall why, I think the 5 yo asked what they said), anyhow, when we were leaving a lady with two kids and a dog showed up and my DS said loudly, "she's breaking the rules, mom. The sign said no dogs!" - which actually embarrased me just b/c I'm shy like that.







At least it was on a leash, and hopefully she didn't let it run around after we were gone.

My 5 yo, BTW, is afraid of dogs if they bark or jump up on him. Last weekend a friend's dogs were super excited and did both, and my DS was in tears and was upset for a while after we left. They wouldn't bite or hurt him, but he doesn't get that yet.


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## 2xy (Nov 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Grace and Granola* 
I don't know. I am the owner of a very large, but very well behaved dog. He went through obedience training and wouldn't hurt a fly.

If your large, well behaved dog came running up to me and my smaller, not-well-behaved dog....and my dog snapped and growled and tried to bite, would your dog just stand there and wag his tail?

It only takes one dog to start a fight. Smaller dogs are often intimidated and defensive when larger dogs get in their space. Children are not always happy to be confronted by a large animal, either. They could scream or shriek or try to hit at the dog.


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## Joyster (Oct 26, 2007)

I would have been ticked. I love dogs, I've worked at a national kennel club, I've trained them professionally, I wouldn't consider a breed of dog unless it was 60+ pounds and I really prefer 80lbs and over, so I love big dogs!

That said, I also like leash laws, I don't take my kids to off leash parks because I know way too many people who don't train their dogs properly. I don't trust anyone who has their dog off leash and letting it bound up to strangers (especially with small kids) in a leashed area as the most vigilant of dog trainers.

I think you handled it very well.


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## KristyDi (Jun 5, 2007)

I don't care how friendly your dog is, my dd is still allergic to it, especially the saliva. So if an un-leased friendly dog comes up and licks dd, which she would love, she will then get hives and swell. I will then need to give her allergy meds, which will knock her out for several hours. So your friendly dog just basically ended our day of fun because dd will now sleep through whatever we were going to do.

I like dogs, but really really hate it when my dd gets charged by a dog in a place where the dog should be leashed.

OP you did fine. It's not ok to let your dog, big or small, friendly or not, charge and circle strangers in a place where dogs are not allowed off leash.


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## Pepper44 (May 16, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KristyDi* 
I don't care how friendly your dog is, my dd is still allergic to it, especially the saliva. So if an un-leased friendly dog comes up and licks dd, which she would love, she will then get hives and swell. I will then need to give her allergy meds, which will knock her out for several hours. So your friendly dog just basically ended our day of fun because dd will now sleep through whatever we were going to do.

I like dogs, but really really hate it when my dd gets charged by a dog in a place where the dog should be leashed.

OP you did fine. It's not ok to let your dog, big or small, friendly or not, charge and circle strangers in a place where dogs are not allowed off leash.

That used to happen to me from cat saliva when I was a kid! It was SO itchy!! Luckily I somehow outgrew the allergy. I can't imagine how much worse dog saliva would be than cat--at least cats just rub you in one tiny spot and usually with permission...a dog can spread saliva pretty far in a split second...yuck.


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## funkymamajoy (May 25, 2008)

My oldest is terrified of dogs he doesn't know. I'm so tired of dog owners telling me "its okay, he's friendly." Look at my hysterically crying child, does that look okay? I don't blame the dog owners who have their dogs on leashes but that doesn't change my son's reaction. I don't know how a unleashed dog would react to my son's noise and running away and that thought really scares me.

This is why we choose non-dog beaches and parks.


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## becoming (Apr 11, 2003)

I definitely would have been upset, particularly because my daughter is TERRIFIED of dogs & that incident would probably have ruined what would have been a fun day for her. She would have been a basketcase after that happened.


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## madskye (Feb 20, 2006)

She should have called her dog and apologized.

I will say, I was just in a similar situation on Weds, except my dog was on a leash. I have 5 month old black lab puppy, very sweet, and DD 4.5 and I took her for a walk at a park near my house. I hadn't been there with her, but had thought it would be great for her, since she's still a puppy, it's fairly flat and not too large, and has a nice mix of dirt trail into woods that's not too challenging for my daughter.

We were walking on the path and a woman jogged around my daughter, and I when I apologized for DD being in her way (because she was walking like a 4 year old and tough to get around) the puppy jumped up and put her paws on the lady's mid-section. I had the leash slack and just wasn't expecting it. My dog is a puppy, and I don't see how she could be perceived as threatening, but I do see how it could be annoying to have a dog jump up on you as you are trying to run.

Anyway, she let me know that DOGS ARE NOT EVEN ALLOWED IN THIS PARK! And I was like, really? I'm sorry, I didn't know we'll leave. And she kind of spat at me IT'S POSTED ON THE SIGN WHERE YOU WALK IN. And I felt like total crap. I have pms, and I must admit--I actually cried a bit once we got back in the car. She was absolutely in the right but I was still very taken aback and felt embarassed.

I had imagined that at the trailhead there was a giant picture of a dog with a slash through it with No DOGS ALLOWED in red or something similar. Actually, there's a sign that lists the park rules and along with no alcohol, nobody in the park after dark, and no firearms, dogs are also listed. And the the kicker--right next to the sign, is one of those disposable doggy poop bag dispensers.

You're absolutely not in the wrong, and as the mother of a four year old and as a dog owner I don't think you're unreasonable to not want unleashed dogs invading your space. I guess all I'd offer is what you've already posted in follow up--that in the future maybe treating the offender with some gentleness would make for a better day for everyone, you wouldn't feel like someone thought you were a "dog-hater" and they might be able to realize that they are actually in the wrong.

You asked about a different way to handle, and I'd just go for honesty. "You know, we actually love dogs, I used to have 5. But I can tell you, a lot of children would be very afraid of a strange, large dog charging up to them. Also, dogs aren't allowed on the beach, so parents shouldn't have to watch out for them here."


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

we cant control our reactions.

i think if you had showed how scared you were - i think that would have sat well rather than anger. anger pushes people away. for many people i know freakout and concern comes out as anger.

i think if you had told her how scary it was - she probably would have put the leash on.

or in your anger told her how would you feel if a total stranger dog came running up to your children and circled them barking - would have made her think.

these days i focus on myself and make myself 'vulnerable' to all. so when people see from my point of view - whether it is said in anger or statement - i notice they listen easier.


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## Just1More (Jun 19, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *meemee* 
we cant control our reactions.

i think if you had showed how scared you were - i think that would have sat well rather than anger. anger pushes people away. for many people i know freakout and concern comes out as anger.

i think if you had told her how scary it was - she probably would have put the leash on.

or in your anger told her how would you feel if a total stranger dog came running up to your children and circled them barking - would have made her think.

these days i focus on myself and make myself 'vulnerable' to all. so when people see from my point of view - whether it is said in anger or statement - i notice they listen easier.

Yes, thank you for reminding me to be real. I guess I was real, because I WAS mad. I wasn't scared. I had only a moment of trepidation because I could guage the dog's mannerisms and judged it to be annoying but not mean. It's been a long time since I've been that mad.

But next time, yeah, a few more words, a lot less "tone." (sorry about that madskye)

FTR, at our beach, there is single sign as you walk over the bridge over the dunes saying "no dogs. A dog beach is located south of ________." And when you get to the beach, there is a big sign pointing you to the dog beach.
It's not in fine print, and these are only 2 of the most obvious signs. There are plenty more.


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## GranoLLLy-girl (Mar 1, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pumpkin* 
You were not unreasonable. Responsible dog owners do not let their dogs run up to others, especially children.

It drives me crazy that people do not take responsibility for their animals. I have pets. I know their temperaments. I still err on the side of protecting people since animals can be unpredictable. I would hate for someone to get hurt because I didn't do my job.

AMEN. Even in a place where pets ARE permitted--like a PETSMART, people don't handle their pets the way they should. I've seen dogs snap at people in the PETSMART and the owners are just like: la tee da--the dog is on a leash.
Whatever. We have dogs, cats and rabbits.
I've had BIG dogs. I never ever am selfish enough to consider my right to walk my dog where I chose OVER someone's right to feel comfortable in the PETSMART or the beach or where ever...it's just not right. I don't care if is a pet friendly place--if you aren't comfortable, it's not pet friendly to you.


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## wookie (Dec 12, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MCR* 
I'm not a dog lover. I'd have been panicked if I'd have been alone with my arms full and seen a big dog heading towards my kids, unleashed and circling them. Friendly or not people should be more responsible, the dog beach was further up and the signs said no dogs, I would not have been so nice, probably after I screamed from where I was as it got to my kids.











the other day we went to the library and someone had leashed their dog right outside the entrance. it was a big dog and it barked at anyone who came in or out. the owners were inside somewhere not watching. when we came out my ds was so scared he wouldn't leggo of my leg. i had a bag of books plus baby in arms. we made it out somehow. i watched as another family waited outside for a bit to see if the dog would give them room and then left when he didn't. i was









not everyone loves dogs. yours might be totally well behaved but that doesn't mean he can come sniff me.


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

I'm a dog lover. We had a beloved dog who passed away just a few months ago. We always followed the leash laws with our dog, but I'm not nuts about enforcing leash laws for others -- there's a border collie who does training in the park by our house and we don't mind a bit because the owner has the dog under complete voice-command control at all times and doesn't let it approach people.

The kind of behavior you described in your OP irks me -- just because I think my dog is friendly and don't mind her slobbery kisses doesn't mean anyone else should have to tolerate them in a space where dogs are clearly not allowed. Other people may be allergic, afraid, or just plain not like dogs, and when they go to areas with clearly marked "no dogs allowed" signs, they should be assured that they won't encounter a dog, especially an off-leash dog whose owner allows it to approach people. I would have been mad and said so too.


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## lonegirl (Oct 31, 2008)

I wouldn't have been too annoyed if I could read the dog's behaviour. I would have informed the owner that, sadly, that was a beach with restricitions and that if she wanted to have her dog off leash that the beach nearby was a leash-free area. I couldn't be sure that she was new to the area or a visitor and didn't see the sign....trust me I have seen some of the signs and with some you have to read a lot of fine print to see the restrictions. Personally, I am of the belief that there should be more off-leash parks available to dog owners....
I _would_ be annoyed though if after I told her about the other beach that she didn't immediately leash her dog.


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## Labbemama (May 23, 2008)

oops double posted.


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## Labbemama (May 23, 2008)

I think telling them your kids are afraid and that is a dog friendly park a mile down the way would be highly appropriate. Most ppl would appreciate knowing about an alternative rather than being told off, even if they are breaking the park laws. Most ppl would feign ignorance or get rude if confronted, so a non confrontational helpful directions to the dog park would probably have the best result, a fun day for everyone.

as a dog owner I'd want to go somewhere my dog was welcome and I would not want to scare little kids either.

I'm a firm believer in proper training of dogs too not to jump up on ppl.

It doesn't sound like the dog was getting much attention from it's owners either.

There are too many uncared for dogs roaming my neighborhood.
there are two that look just alike, both red-nosed pits and one is so sweet and the other quite aggressive and unless you call the nice one's name you can't tell the difference! But scarier yet is a big black emaciated mama great dane.


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## SunshineJ (Mar 26, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *limabean* 
I'm a dog lover. We had a beloved dog who passed away just a few months ago. We always followed the leash laws with our dog, but I'm not nuts about enforcing leash laws for others -- there's a border collie who does training in the park by our house and we don't mind a bit because *the owner has the dog under complete voice-command control at all times and doesn't let it approach people*.

IF the owner has the dog that well trained, then I personally couldn't care less if it's on a leash. Unfortunatley, that's pretty uncommon in my experience and most people I've encountered consider "well trained" to mean that they won't maul another person on sight and will eventually come when called. What you're describing seems like more of a professional training or a "working dog" that's been worked with extensively, and imo they aren't an issue.


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## pixiekisses (Oct 14, 2008)

I would probably not have been nice at all, I'm afraid of dogs, I know that, but I can't control my reaction towards dogs/dog owners when I'm really scared because a big dog is running towards me/my kids. I would've flipped out.

So I think you did very well.


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## MoonStarFalling (Nov 4, 2004)

OP I would have said the same thing. I will tell people at parks to get their dog on a leash. I've always been very wary of strange unleashed dogs running up to my child. It wasn't until about a month ago, when my 2 year old was attacked by a German Shepard, that I truly realized that a dog can kill a child in far less time than it would take a parent standing a foot away to react and TRY to remove their screaming baby from the dogs mouth. I'm even more adamant about unleashed dogs now.


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## goldingoddess (Jan 5, 2008)

You were totally in the right.

I have two dogs. One an aussie shepherd who is extremely obedient and walks at my side, has no interest in approaching other people and comes when called. I still walk him on a leash in any area that is not specifically a no-leash area. And the reason is because I have another dog who is an Akita, and who if approached by another dog off-leash while he is on-leash will attack and pin down the other dog in defense. IMO it is not ok to have a dog offleash unless it is specifically an off-leash area. Because if my Akita thinks your 'well-trained' offleash lab is a at all a threat when he approches us, your dog will be hurt, and I don't want that.

Also, even though I love dogs I am not OK with dogs running towards, barking or circling my toddler. I have actually been in a petsmart when someone had no control over their on-leash 50 pound lab puppy who dragged their owner over to my toddler and started barking and lurching and I YELLED at the owner to keep their dog away from us (we were crouched down looking at the fish tanks at that moment.)

I don't care how well you know your dog or how well it is trained, keep it on a leash.


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## NYCVeg (Jan 31, 2005)

I, too, would have been pretty angry--and I am an absolute dog lover. But my dd is terrified of them AND she's allergic. There are leash laws for a reason.

I also think that the responsibility runs both ways--that is, the dog should be on a leash not only out of respect for other people, but also out of respect for the dog. Not all toddlers know how to respect animals. When we had a dog, if a child was interested in her and approached, I always instructed the child how to interact with our somewhat neurotic (but quite sweet) dog--e.g., "yes, you may pet her, but please only pet her here because she might get scared if you reach over her head" etc. I didn't want my dog to bother any child who might be scared of her, but I also didn't want HER to get scared, to be handled roughly, to get her ears pulled by a rowdy toddler, etc.


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## neetling (Jan 24, 2006)

I agree with this. I abhor unleashed animals coming at my family and I really don't want to interact with a dog unless I initiate the contact. I have always taught my children that they may not pet or approach an animal without the owners permission.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NYCVeg* 
I, too, would have been pretty angry--and I am an absolute dog lover. But my dd is terrified of them AND she's allergic. There are leash laws for a reason.

I also think that the responsibility runs both ways--that is, the dog should be on a leash not only out of respect for other people, but also out of respect for the dog. Not all toddlers know how to respect animals. When we had a dog, if a child was interested in her and approached, I always instructed the child how to interact with our somewhat neurotic (but quite sweet) dog--e.g., "yes, you may pet her, but please only pet her here because she might get scared if you reach over her head" etc. I didn't want my dog to bother any child who might be scared of her, but I also didn't want HER to get scared, to be handled roughly, to get her ears pulled by a rowdy toddler, etc.


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## snoopy5386 (May 6, 2005)

we went to the park today and there was an unleashed dog there and I immediately thought of this thread! The dog was a medium size shepard mix and the park was a crowded playground type park. I didn't see a no dogs sign, but I wasn't looking and that kind of park is not appropriate for a dog period, certainly not an off-leash one.
The dog was sitting by the picnic tables with the owners while their kids I assume were playing on the playground. We were there about an hour and over the course of the hour they had to call the dog back to them about 10 times at least. She kept wandering away to haunt folks eating at the other picnic tables.
I just can't understand why these people didn't have her on a leash?? Especially if they just wanted the dog to sit right next to them the whole time.
I also kept thinking of my friend whose son is allergic to dog saliva. She would have driven to the park with her kids all excited to play and then would have had to turn around and leave - all because some jerk couldn't be bothered to leash his dog.


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## Latte Mama (Aug 25, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NYCVeg* 
I, too, would have been pretty angry--and I am an absolute dog lover. But my dd is terrified of them AND she's allergic. There are leash laws for a reason.

I also think that the responsibility runs both ways--that is, the dog should be on a leash not only out of respect for other people, but also out of respect for the dog. Not all toddlers know how to respect animals. When we had a dog, if a child was interested in her and approached, I always instructed the child how to interact with our somewhat neurotic (but quite sweet) dog--e.g., "yes, you may pet her, but please only pet her here because she might get scared if you reach over her head" etc. I didn't want my dog to bother any child who might be scared of her, but I also didn't want HER to get scared, to be handled roughly, to get her ears pulled by a rowdy toddler, etc.

Yes! First, I







dogs. However, if some stranger's dog came running up to my toddler, I'd be steamed. My son is not very familiar with dogs as we don't have one nor do we spend time with anyone that has one (well, not a lot of time). So he might just bop the dog on the nose and then what if the dog decides to take a chomp at my son's face? ANY dog can nip no matter how friendly they are. Sorry, I don't want my son injured because some irresponsible dog owner can't be bothered to leash their pup.

OP, you were perfectly fine.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Irishmommy* 
You sound nicer than I would have been.











And thank goodness your kids didn't do anything to set the dog off. My MIL's dog would've been 100% okay in that situation, but he's had special training (canine good citizen). And I can't imagine any dog with that training having ended up near your kids on a no dogs beach so I'd assume that the wrong move would've gotten someone hurt.


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## snoww (Mar 22, 2010)

We went to the park Saturday-one of these Federal parks with a big lake, were eating lunch with my husband ,6y.o. son and 3y.o. daughter right next to the water. The old junky looking camper drove in to the parking lot and the rough looking family came out of it and they all started smoking. Their Doberman got out of the camper and started running circles around us and toward children. I told them in a nice voice that my children are afraid of the dogs-the man answered "he is a good dog, he is harmless" My daughter started running around shaking and screaming and I told them again that my children are afraid of the dogs-the same answer. My husband is just standing there and telling me not to panic because "I am making children more afraid of the dog and if I just stay still and don't look dog will go away" He didn't say anything to these people, he was just telling me not to panic. I got my daughter up in the ear and when the dog came another time and tried to jump on us I make a kicking motion toward him. The mother of the family said to me" if you kick my dog I will kick you in the f*****g face" That finally got my husband's attention and he said "I think I will call the police now",- and he started dialing the number. The family immediately left. My husband was blaming me for the situation, saying "you don't mess with this kind of people, they are far more dangerous than their dog is, you will get us all killed, we are lucky they didn't come back with the guns" I said if he supported me from the beginning and tried to protect his children instead of telling me not to panic-these people would probably get their dog away. But because they noticed he didn't support me-they feel they dodn't have to do anything.
Our weekend was completely ruined, we were arguing with each other for the last two days, we are mad at each other,my husband still saying that he can tell by looking at the dog if he is aggressive or not, and that Doberman was just playing. I told him that I don't care and don't want to know how friendly the dog is-I just don't want him to run toward my children.


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## MissLotus (Nov 2, 2005)

OP, you were completely justified in saying something firmly to those people. I love all kinds of animals, but it's very presumptuous when dog owners don't keep their dogs leashed in situations like that. Others shouldn't have to worry about large animals jumping around them.

I was at the beach with my son a couple years ago; we were at at the entrance section where it's rocky (not a cliff, just rocky as it was Maine) and we stood for a moment watching the waves crash. Suddenly a large dog came bounding up, barking - my son turned around, startled - the dog leaped on my son, "just playing" as the owners pointed out. My son fell over backwards over a rock! Thankfully he wasn't hurt, but I was burning mad. CONTROL YOUR DOG. That is NOT just playing! And guess what - we didn't ASK to play with your dog. Keep it on a leash when you're not home.

And I myself took a walk one morning recently after dropping my son off from school, and was across the street from a house where the door suddenly opened and this huge dog came flying out, and ran across the street to me, barking - I seriously thought that was the end of me, when a woman came out and yelled at him to stop. He stopped. I was too shaken to even properly tell her what I thought, just that she should NOT let him out like that! She apologized, but I could not care less - that doesn't make up for letting your pet go wild over other people. An elderly person could have had a heart attack on the spot, seeing that thing flying towards them!

If you know your dog goes nuts the minute you open the door, put on the leash FIRST! I really can't stand some people's self-centeredness when it comes to their dogs. We don't all think it's cute.


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## Trinitty (Jul 15, 2004)

You were _much_ nicer than I would have been.

Sadly, some people are ignorant jerks, think that rules and reality do not apply to *them* and they also own dogs. They give dogs a really bad rap.

For the record: I value dogs. I was raised with GIGANTIC dogs. I just really really really dislike bad owners.

Trin.

Also: I carry pepper spray at all times when I am with DD. For rotten dogs and rotten people.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Somehow, I missed this thread until now..

I'd have probably gone ballistic, to be honest. DD1 is absolutely petrified of dogs (we have no idea why, and she's fine with other animals, even large ones). It would have taken _forever_ to get her calmed down and relaxed after something like that, and it would have destroyed our outing completely. It drives me nuts when people just say, "oh, he/she is friendly". We sometimes used to go for walks in an off-leash area (before dd1 became so scared - she was just a baby back then, and usually in a carrier), and it didn't bug me so much there, but it makes me nuts when it's a leash required or no dogs area.


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## hibiscus mum (Apr 6, 2009)

Grr. You were totally justified, OP. I get so frustrated when we go to our favourite campground - it has several beautiful beaches, including a dog beach. But last time we were there, there were all kinds of dogs on the regular, non-dog beach. I really wanted to say something to the families with dogs there, but I was too chicken.

Last summer, I took DD to the splashpad near our house and there was a man playing with his dog. :







And i mean, playing in the actual splashpad. We have a big golden retriever, so DD is used to dogs, but it made me uneasy. The guy was throwing a ball for his dog in the splash pad, so of course all the kids were chasing after the ball too. I didn't say anything in that instance either, because there were no rules posted about dogs or anything...but it seemed a little off to me.


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## laila2 (Jul 21, 2007)

The first time a similar situation happened, me on the beach with my 13 month old in a back pack, a dog ran at me, then behind, barked, and jumped up almost knocking me over. I could not distinguish whos dog it was, but had a good idea of a very guilty looking person carrying a leash. I was pissed, and yelled at the dog,NNNNOOO, in a ferious voice. Dog stopped.

Next time now 6 year old and I are walking in a dog park, she is afraid of dogs, an older border collie, hearding dog, keeps running after my dd and barking near her heels with me repeatedly rounding then dog runs off. I finally said to the older owner, who could barely walk and is sitting on a log, "sir, please control your dog". He said she is friendly so I felt sorry for the guy and took dog by the collar and led her to master so he could hold her while we walked off. I felt good that I was able to be the advocate I was not at the beach.


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## lab (Jun 11, 2003)

I started to post this the other and am thinking of making it my Facebook status......

FYI - If I am running through the trails of a park that requires dogs to be leashed, and your unleashed dog starts chasing me with the hair on its neck raised.....I'm gonna pepper spray it.

So no - I don't think you were unreasonable AT ALL!


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## labdogs42 (Jan 21, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Just1More* 







Yes, I am still annoyed. Sorry to bite back on the internet.

My response was honest. Would you have done those things and thought it was okay? Why? Because you trusted your dog? Had you been the dog owner in the situation in the OP, would you have thought I was a jerk?

I did want other perspectives. I wanted to know if I was out of line to be so mad.

I would have rolled my eyes had there been a dog there, but wouldn't have said anything or even been bothered by it if it had been in control (leashed or not) and not run up to us while it's owner didn't even do anything. I was bothered that it was up on the kids, friendly or not. And I couldn't know right away if it was, in fact, friendly.

I own big dogs and I have a kid. I would have been upset if I had been in your situation and I think you acted appropriately.

I have let my dogs off leash in places where, technically, they should not have been off leash







, BUT if I see any people in the area, I call my dogs back and they are put back on leash. If anyone ever said anything, (no one ever has, I guess because my dogs promptly returned to me) I would be deeply apologetic and would promptly put my dogs back on leash.

The woman in this instance was wrong for not calling her dog away from your children.
It is tough to find places to let dogs run and play these days. I wish there were more dog-friendly beaches and parks around. Then there wouldn't be so many people breaking the rules (although in this instance, it sounds like she had a dog beach she could have been on instead!)


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## New_Natural_Mom (Dec 21, 2007)

No, I don't think you were wrong. They weren't supposed to be there with the dog. It was unleashed though it was posted. And they let the dog run up to your kids. Not ok to me. I used to have 2 little pomeranians and I wouldn't let them run up to strangers.


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## lab (Jun 11, 2003)

I don't understand people.

I was running again today in the park on the trails and encountered a lady with a dog off leash. Little white jack russell type dog, except larger.

The dog actually started darting in and out at me and growling. Not barking, but growling. He would dart away from her and then run at me. She laughed when I asked if the dog would chase me when I started running again.

This was fear based aggression and she was clueless. She had a small child around 18 months with a crazy little dog.

I thought about this thread as soon as I saw the dog. I need my pepper spray!!!!

And the best part is when I firmly told her dog no one of the last times he rushed at me - she got ill!!!?!?!?! UGH!


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## St. Margaret (May 19, 2006)

I've had a dog jump up on me two times in a row during my evening walks with DD in my front mei tai. The owner (there were a few chatting, letting their dogs run around the housing assoc's park, which is all leashed areas except the HUGE fenced greenbelt that has free-dog hours, which is bigger than any other area we have!) wasn't even looking at his dog. The second night I asked him, as nicely as I could, to please call his dog. His BIG dog was jumping on me, scratching my baby's legs with his paws. And the owner went OFF on me, saying I was teaching my DD to be afraid of dogs. I was SO peeved. I love dogs. I miss my dog terribly (but my MIL is actually phobic of dogs so out of respect, since she likes to come play with DD, I don't have one... but DD has started asking for one!







). That owner and the others like him here, who always let their dogs run up to DD and bite toys out of her hands, knock her down, bite and deflate her favorite/only ball... they are the one who made my DD afraid of dogs for a good year of her life.

It's very simple. Dogs need to be kept leashed unless they're in your yard or an off-leash area. We have plenty of dog parks, beaches, and areas that there's really no excuse. Don't get me started on how owners let their dogs out to poop in the kids' lawn and park and don't clean up... they don't even come out with their dogs. Which leads to their dogs running wild, knocking down the little kids. We will probably wait to get a dog until we have a bigger yard (we'd want a bigger dog). I just feel it's responsible that way.

OP, you were totally reasonable and maybe started them thinking about being more responsible.


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## _betsy_ (Jun 29, 2004)

A "nice, family dog" almost killed me as a child. So yeah, you were way nicer about it than I would have been. WAY nicer.


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## StephandOwen (Jun 22, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Irishmommy* 
You sound nicer than I would have been.









I would have gone nuts, personally.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Grace and Granola* 
I don't know. I am the owner of a very large, but very well behaved dog. He went through obedience training and wouldn't hurt a fly. I think I might forget that people don't know that about my dog. That they should trust me because I know my dog.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *number572* 
I had a large dog that used to freak people out b'c of her size, we would tie bright colored bandanas around her neck to make her more friendly looking! (((SNIP))) When my dog has been too quick off leash & run up to someone, I feel out the situation & apologize if the other person is offended at all.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *Grace and Granola* 
My dog would have run up to your kids to sniff the heck out of them! I would have immediately called him back or grabbed his collar so as not to be a pest to you and your kids.

Seriously? Do you all have that little respect for other people? Your dog running up to people and "sniffing the heck out of them" could KILL them. My dp is allergic to dogs. We believe my ds is as well. I cannot tell you how many times we have had our plans ruined because of unleashed dogs with owners who didn't give a d*mn whether they ran up to other people. When that happens to us we all need to immediately get home, shower everyone and throw all clothes in the washer, dp almost always needs his inhaler and sometimes ds does too.

It has nothing to do with whether your dog is "friendly". You could have the friendliest dog in the world and it could still KILL someone who is allergic. If I wanted to be around a dog, I would go to the pet store. We, however, avoid pet stores. We avoid places we know there are animals allowed. We should be allowed to go to a beach (that has no dogs allowed) and enjoy a day together instead of taking a trip to an emergency room.


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## Momily (Feb 15, 2007)

I'm a dog owner, of a small, well behaved, fluffy mutt. He's always on a leash unless we're in a fenced in area that specifically allows dogs.

I don't understand the reasoning of "maybe they didn't see the signs". In my city there are something like 8 places, other than private yards, where dogs are allowed off leash and a million where they aren't. Almost all of the beaches I know don't allow dogs even if they are on a leash. If dogs are allowed, it's very clearly a "dog beach", but those are rare. To me, dogs being on leash is the default -- unless there's a sign saying the opposite, I assume that's the rule. So, I don't really understand how "I didn't see a sign" can be a defense.

Do other people live in places where it's common for dogs to be allowed off leash and where that might be a reasonable assumption?

I should add that I used to teach at a special ed school where the children played at a public playground attached to a park. I was always amazed when people would come, and let their dog off leash in a group of 20 - 30 children, some of whom would panic. We weren't as nice as you were -- we'd call 911 and then tell the dog owner that the police were on their way. Usually they left at that point.


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Momily* 
I don't understand the reasoning of "maybe they didn't see the signs". In my city there are something like 8 places, other than private yards, where dogs are allowed off leash and a million where they aren't. Almost all of the beaches I know don't allow dogs even if they are on a leash. If dogs are allowed, it's very clearly a "dog beach", but those are rare. To me, dogs being on leash is the default -- unless there's a sign saying the opposite, I assume that's the rule. So, I don't really understand how "I didn't see a sign" can be a defense.

Do other people live in places where it's common for dogs to be allowed off leash and where that might be a reasonable assumption?

I haven't really researched it, but as far as I know California has a state-wide leash law (or maybe the specifics vary by city?). In any case, I always assume that dogs should be leashed unless specifically stated otherwise, like at dog parks or dog beaches.


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## lalemma (Apr 21, 2009)

Man, that story totally annoys me.

I love dogs. I am a dog person. There is nothing better to me than a big ole dog. And I totally understand that sometimes your dog needs to run around off-leash.

But I get terribly irked by people making excuses for their dog's behavior. "Oh, he's just excited to see you!" "He just wants to protect me!"

Whatever. Your dog - especially if you expect others to be okay with your dog to be running around off-leash where he shouldn't - needs to be a good canine citizen with good manners. I am normally a pretty laissez-faire person, but I recognize that some people are deeply terrified of dogs. So for my values, even big dopey friendly dogs rushing people they haven't been invited to meet is NOT OKAY.


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