# When kids say embarrassing things in public...HELP!



## Forest Sage (Nov 22, 2001)

Kids are so wonderfully uninhibited aren't they? I'm seeing that as a mixed blessing these days. My 3 year old has recently discovered the joys of speaking his mind whenever the inspiration strikes him... and most of the time I am totally caught off guard!
Just yesterday:
In a public restroom-
"Mom it really STINKS in here. Is somebody having a poo?"
On observing an obese man:
"Mom that man has big legs!"
On watching a guy on the bus:
"Mom why is that boy drinking a pop on the bus? That's CRAZY!"
There's more, but you get the picture. I am teaching him to be polite, but he's too young to really get it. He is observant and inquisitive, but how can I deal with the looks from other people like I should just put a piece of duct tape over his mouth?!


----------



## MamaBug (Jun 13, 2003)

I think that anyone who has kids would totally understand what you are going through. My oldest ds is 3 1/2 and he is the same way. He is especially drawn to ANYONE with bandages and facial hair. One time we were in Wal-mart and there was a guy with an eye patch and a goatee, right in front of him my ds asked if the guy was Captain Hook!!!!!!







: I quickly said no honey, but then the man did the sweetest thing, he said yes young man I am Captain Hook!.
Then there was the time at a local firehouse clambake,( my ds is totally into learning the US presidents and he LOVES George Washington), well the man serving the food had really white sort of longish hair, well ds points at him and says "Mommy look! It's George Washington!"







: Again I said no honey, and the man totally went along with it! I think those two men were awesome! They totally got it.
I always say there are 3 kinds of people in this world. Those that had kids and totally feel my pain/pleasure due to good or uncomfortable doings by my children. Those that will feel my pleasure/pain some day and go " Oh God now I get it!". And those who have no clue and never will so WHO CARES!


----------



## Elphaba (Nov 19, 2001)

i don't have any advice but i do have a funny story to share.
one of my friends and coworkers had all 4 limbs amputated and has the artificial kind that are made of metal, with clippy things for hands, i don't know what they are really called.
anyway, this kid comes into the store, and he has a cast on his arm. he sees jeff and says, "what happened to your arm!?" and jeff says he got sick and lost his, and then said, what happened to YOU?
i laughed so hard. the kid was just not expecting that at all. i'm sure his mom was embarrassed, but jeff says he much prefers kids to adults because kids at least treat him like a human instead of ignoring him.
i personally really enjoy it when kids say stuff like "ooh it stinks in here." tact is not something they worry about yet, and it is just so refreshing.


----------



## Ms. Mom (Nov 18, 2001)

I say, shrug your shoulders and say "kids"







. What else can you say?

My favorite, we were in a store during winter, my wet boot squeeked on the floor and dd blerted out "oooohhh, you farted!" That made me feel lovely!









In some way I admire them. They get to say EXACTLY what's on thier mind without having to stop and think it through.

Oh, got another. Before I had kids, I had my nephew (then 2) with me. We were at a store and he was so excited to see my cats, he said "Aunt Jacque, when we get home I want to play with your titties" Oh the looks I got







and the sades of red I turned!

As for a solution; just keep talking to them about feelings. Let them know that all people are different and that's what makes this world so beautiful. I live in a very racially and cultural diverse area. What I love most is that my kids don't really notice because it's the norm around hear.


----------



## peacemama (Nov 21, 2001)

:LOL These stories are so funny!

My dd has a habit of doing the Howard Cosell thing in public bathroom stalls, you know, "Mommy, you're making yellow peepee! Now you're wiping, Mommy!" One time I had my period and had to take her into the stall with me, and before she could start describing the entire tampon-changing process in her very loud, very clear voice, I asked her to sing the ABCs. It worked like a charm. People may have thought it was strange to hear that, but it's a lot better than what would have happened!

I think this is just a three-year-old thing, and that with repeated reminders, hopefully they'll understand one day that they need to keep their voices down!


----------



## Milo (Dec 5, 2001)

My turn for a funny story....

I knew we'd had an overdose of "Nature" when we were in the grocery store, and Jadon stage whispers to me " Mama, I am nervous about that man next to us...I think he's maybe a predator and wants to eat me for supper!"

All I wanted to do was grab him and run from the store...but we did need groceries, so I said "I don't think so honey...most people aren't cannibals, they don't eat other people. I'm sure he's a friendly nice man, like your Daddy".

To which the poor alleged predator said "Most people?!?!!?" and huffed off.

I do want to cheer when we are shopping and he hears a fussy baby, because he always announces loudly that "that baby needs a mama to hold it...maybe it wants to have some milk?"


----------



## I Love My Boy (Jan 15, 2002)

I went shopping with a friend and her two dd's. We were in the deli section and a Chinese woman was helping us. Friend's 2 1/2 yo starts yelling, "Mama!! Why is that lady a monkey, mama? Mama! Why is she a monkey?!"

Oh it was awful. But I started to laugh *because* it was so awful so I had to walk away very quickly.


----------



## Forest Sage (Nov 22, 2001)

These replies have really brightened my day (and busted my gut)!!! I have to say, when my son says something, it isn't so much that I am embarrased, but usually I have to try hard not to laugh. The things he says make me want to howl with wild abandon...but at the same time I don't want it to seem to others that I allow my son to make fun of people. I know he isn't capable of making fun of others, and he doesn't have a cruel bone in his body. He loves people. But some people don't see it that way (big sigh). I try not to dwell on the reactions of others...but on the day that I originally posted, a lady who heard my son say "mom that man has big legs" she (unbelievably) said to the big-legged man..."Isn't he VICIOUS? Just VICIOUS!" I was so shocked, considering she had a child in a stroller and should have known better!
I guess I was just looking for some validation, and a few hearty laughs.


----------



## Elphaba (Nov 19, 2001)

this isn't a story about SAYING embarrassing things, but doing them.
when my brother was a baby/toddler, i was young too, so i don't exactly remember, he had the lovely habit of pinching women's bottoms. freakin hilarious. the woman would reel around ready to knock some man on his butt, and there's this little cherub standing there grinning.
my mom must have hated to leave the house. she also had to contend with my sister who would strip naked in every public place. we often found her in display windows of the places we were shopping.


----------



## Milo (Dec 5, 2001)

So glad to know I am not the only one prone to fits of hysterical giggling in repsonse to my child. I asked him once if he had to work at being humorous, or if it just came naturally.

He said "naturally, 'course!"


----------



## dotcommama (Dec 30, 2001)

This thread is great!- though I'm sorry Forest Sage non of us seem to have any advice. I think they start to learn what's approriate to say in public as they get older.

Ok - so of course I'll add my story too -

We were shopping in the healthfood store and we walk down the isle when my ds points to this woman and loudly says, "Look Mom it's Cruella Devil" (his favorite book at the time was 101 dalmations). I just quickly whooshed the cart into the next isle and hoped like hell that poor woman didn't hear him.

LMK


----------



## Linda in Arizona (Nov 20, 2001)

We were in a store that had a lot of small plastic animals in barrells. My 3 year picked one up, turned it over, and loudly announced it was a boy because it had a penis. Then she proceeded to go through the barrell checking to see how many had penises and announcing her findings. We were trying so hard to find a way to get her to shut up without making a big deal of the word penis (which she must of said 30 times at the top of her lungs) and my DH offered to buy her one of the the animals. She said ok, "I want one with NO PENIS."


----------



## Mallory (Jan 2, 2002)

This is so funny








When my brother was 3 he and dad went to the store to get pullups. My dad never gets the same brands that mom gets. So he asked bro if he had picked up the right kind. Well my brother almost had dad convinced that he had the wrong kind but not quite. Dad asked why are you trying to trick me and brother said "checkin for stupid" It has deffinatly become a family joke!!


----------



## peacemama (Nov 21, 2001)

Linda In Arizona - that is too funny, because I had a similar incident with toy store animals, except my dd was using the word "vulva"!!!







:


----------



## [email protected] (Jan 5, 2002)

just last week i was at the hardware store late in the day (so there was like no one around) with my daughter

there was a man on crutches missing part of a leg

dd asked 'what happened to his leg?' which is a very normal question - but she didnt do it in a soft voice, anyone within a hundred feet heard her

i replied in a loud voice (so the man would hear) "that's private and we don't ask"

i got very lucky that he understood : )

he smiled and said "its ok, they dont know" and then he told her it was an accident with a train (can you say OWWWW!)

during the holidays we were in kmart in the holiday seciton looking at lights and decorations and dd started in with the 'we;re girls, we have girl parts' conversation

i was baffled but ok with it - just worried about how other moms would react


----------



## Forest Sage (Nov 22, 2001)

The "private parts" discussions can be the funniest, although not at the time. My son likes to announce that mom doesn't have a penis OR a "boreskin." Mom has a "bagina." People are always taken aback when he tells them "I grew inside mom's utoowus."


----------



## sagewinna (Nov 19, 2001)

When my ds was small, he usually picked interesting times to bring things up...

At church, during Mass, to his Godmother: "Janette, do you have a vagina??"

Also at church, before Mass: "Mommy! We match! I have a red shirt, and YOU have red underwear!"

We had lots of talks about how other poeple might feel bad if they heard someone else talking about their appearance, and talked about what was ok and not ok to say in a loud voice. We also went to a workshop at the library called "A touch of understanding", where differently abled people (One was blind, one had no arms, etc) and listened to their experiences, then rode in wheelchairs, used a blind persons cane while blindfolded, and learned a bit of Braille. It took a lot of the mystery out of things differently abled people use to get around.


----------



## Corriander (Nov 19, 2001)

These are all hillarious!

My three year old loves to watch the birth video of her younger brother. She calls it, "the movie about Andy coming out of mommy's bottom." Once she went up to a preg woman at the grocery store and said, "you have a baby in your tummy. It's going to come out of your bottom."

I heard someone say as a way to recover when your child is saying penis in public is to pretend they are saying peanuts. "Yes dear, that animal has peanuts." I don't have a suggestion for vulva though - maybe Volvo?


----------



## pina la nina (Nov 21, 2001)

I'm dying here! I have yet to experience the joys.....

but from the other side:
While in college going through a hairy leg phase, I was in the drug store in line (wearing shorts) and a little girl was in front of me. She looks me up and down and says to her mom "mama, she's got man's fur on her legs!" I died of laughter. Shoot, how can people get offended - its not like the kids are saying things we don't already know? (Ok - the monkey remark was too much even for me.)


----------



## Forest Sage (Nov 22, 2001)

Good point Pina la Nina. In a perfect world nobody would be offended by a child's innocent curiosity. I wish everyone could be like the good spirited and understanding people who "go along" with the conversations at hand. I am irked when I find myself in a position where I feel like I have to defend myself or my son for something he says. Ah, if only I didn't always need to be the Peacekeeper...


----------



## serenetabbie (Jan 13, 2002)

:LOL :LOL
Oh my! This tread made me laugh! Of course, I also have no advice....except chalk it up to one of the joys of parenthood. Ahh... One time my ds said "look at that smelly man, mommy, I think he needs a bath!" in the market







. My friends dd met us at the door for a play date and asked me "mrs.b., does mr.b. have a penis?"







I also have been on the recieving end, This past summer I broke my ankle pretty badly. I went to our annual midwives family picnic where the childeren were fascinated w/ my crutches and air cast. One boy said, loudly of course, "WOW what happened to you?" I told him and he said "will you need those things forever?" I think his mom was emmbarrased(well, she tryed to shush him), but I told him I really hoped I would not need them forever. He then said "oh....well, I hope you feel better soon".....How sweet is that?!?


----------



## joesmom (Nov 19, 2001)

What a great thread! I also have no advice but would like to add another funny story. DH, DS & I were in line at the grocery store, he was maybe 2 1/2. The cashier was rather well-endowed, & he looked right at her & said, "Mommy, that lady has BIG num nums!" I grabbed him out of the cart as quickly as possible & went to look at the toys by the door, I was so afrasid he'd say it again! I don't think she heard him but it was HILARIOUS to me & DH. Kids are so great with their honesty!


----------



## BathrobeGoddess (Nov 19, 2001)

No it is not just a 3 year old thing (I wish)...When dd was 6 we were out to eat at a mexican food place and I ordered a margarita. Really loudly she said, "Mom, are you going to get drunk?" I died! I still don't know how she even knows what that means since (as far as I know0 no one has ever been drunk around her!


----------



## Chelsea (Dec 22, 2001)

We were at my in-laws tonight and FIL told a hilarious story about our son...

Saturday night we all went out to dinner and FIL took son to the bathroom. Apparently our son was in a stall when a man in the next stall passed gas. Son said "What was THAT!!" MAn in other stall, and FIL were apparently laughing histerically. The man came out and said, "boy the times I have wanted to ask that same question."

We were rolling when FIL told us about it tonight!!









- Chelsea


----------



## jtsmom (Nov 19, 2001)

That penis one really got me!

jtsmom


----------



## RasJane (Nov 20, 2001)

Sorry, I too have no advice--just a story!
Yesterday we were at the grocery store. Ds was in the cart and went through on the other side of the checker. As I was putting the bag back in the cart and getting ready to leave, ds says in his very clear, firm voice, "Momma, I NOT like that man!" I asked why and he said, "just because" I left in a hurry trying really hard not to laugh. Poor checker, I hope he has kids at home!


----------



## Dot.mom (Nov 28, 2001)

I overheard this long before I was married or had children:

In an ATM line:

Mom: You have to stop fussing, we just have to wait in line.

Boy: I'm BORED!!!!!! (starts to run around)

Mom: If you can't wait patiently, we won't go to Mc Donalds when we're done!

Boy: Well, if you don't take me to mc Donalds, I'm gonna tell Grandma that I saw Daddy's penis in your mouth!!!!!

You could have heard a pin drop!


----------



## Forest Sage (Nov 22, 2001)

Ohmygawd Dot.mom your post wins the "most embarrassing" grand prize!


----------



## Amulet (Nov 19, 2001)

This is a fabulous thread! I'm LOL
Here are my contributions:
My best friend has a VERY observant and articulate child, in the grocery store she saw a clerk with bad acne,
'Mummy that man has SPOTS all over his face'
she was quickly whisked into the next aisle. Next visit they had a talk about not talking about people as it might hurt their feelings.....so she gets past the clerk with acne and then just round the corner (still within earshot) 'Mummy, I was good, I never said anything about his spots today!'

Dd is also one for announcing, 'This toilet smells of poo', or 'Is that other lady going to do a pee and a poo?'
I'm sure the mortification can only get worse.


----------



## AMum (Nov 30, 2001)

I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. At least we all know we're not alone! Unfortunatly, my ds' pronouncements are usually "I hate that lady!" I have no idea how to respond to that! I do have a few stories to add though.

My nephew loved animals and (he was 2) had just learned that lobsters go pinch, pinch (pinching fingers to thumb). He was standing with his Mom in line behind a woman who had a big tall beehive wig. He pinched her bottom, she screamed, the wig fell off, she grabbed it & ran from the store. My SIL was so embarrassed and was trying so hard not to laugh.

I had a friend who's BIL taught her son (unbeknownst to her) to say "OOOh, baby doll!" when he saw a good looking woman. So, she is walking through the grocery store, son in cart, when he says this to some woman. My friend was so embarrassed and surprised.


----------



## Greaseball (Feb 1, 2002)

I sure said "Mom, why is this lady so fat" a few times when I was a kid...

I think it's inevitable. If you have children, someday they will embarrass you, and you will embarrass them eventually as well.

I guess I would just say "Sorry, I can't believe she said that," and then walk away. That's all I can think of to do when I say something dumb.








:


----------



## party_of_five (Feb 13, 2002)

I have a 4 year old who loves to narrate what is happening in the bathroom. She was in the stall with me and thank goodness she was within arms reach. I reached out and covered her mouth before she got too graphic.

Don't forget, its not only the things they say, but the things they do. Children really just to not have any shame!

One morning we were getting ready to go to Boise to shop. She was sitting on the coffee table and announced that her tummy hurt. I asked her if she needed to poop. She said, "nope", so we set off in the car, and there is nothing but a truck stop and a rest stop for 45 miles. About 10 minutes into the car ride she announced that she needed to potty...NOW!! My dh decided to speed because she didn't look like she was going to make it. She was doing everything in her power to hold it in. You could see the sweat on her forehead. We got to the truckstop, and she had her carsseat unbuckled before the car even stoped. She just about ran a man over on the sidewalk. I ran behind her and got her to the bathroom. She had her pants around her ankles before I even closed the stall door. My dd then proceded to make noises that I didn't think were possible to come out of a four year old....sounds that I have never before heard in a woman's restroom. All I could do was pray that there wasn't anyone else in there, and hope that if there was, they didn't think it was me.









Thank goodness, there wasn't anyone in there! Children really don't have ANY shame or tact at all.


----------



## Mommiska (Jan 3, 2002)

Oh my goodness...I've been laughing so hard, I have tears running down my face.

My own children haven't embarrassed me like that (yet), but a funny story about my cousin...

When she was 3-4, she walked into the bathroom as Daddy was getting out of the shower. She'd never seen Daddy naked before, so she went running through to her mom, wide-eyed, saying, 'Mommy, Mommy - Daddy has a tail!'.

Not embarrassing for anyone (except maybe Daddy), but amusing, nonetheless.


----------



## Greaseball (Feb 1, 2002)

When I was 3, I stood on a table and threw a washcloth on the ground over and over, and each time it hit the ground I'd say - In front of my parents and Catholic grandparents - "G-d D-mn the washcloth!"

Another time when I was 3 my dad took me to a wedding and right when the bride walked down the aisle and everyone was all quiet, I stood up and yelled "I gotta take a s--t!"


----------



## I Love My Boy (Jan 15, 2002)

Haha, Greaseball. You reminded me of another one. When my cousin was two, my aunt was at the door getting a package from a UPS delivery man, and he comes toddling up to her from the bathroom saying, "Wipe @@@@@ss?? Wipe @@@@@ss???"


----------



## Dot.mom (Nov 28, 2001)

I've got my first one to share!

16 month old dd and I were at the mall. An elderly lady with a very bad wig stopped to say "HI" to her. DD (who has a lot of words and does Baby Sign Language) said to her "hat...Hat....HAT!!!" very loud while patting herself enthusiatically on the head (the sign for "hat"). The lady must have been hard of hearing because she said, "Oh, Head...she's saying 'head' to me" I didn't want to betray DD so I just kind of smiled and fussed with DD's hair. DD knew what was going on though, and said really loud, "Noooooooo NO! HAT! HAT! HAT!" Other shoppers started to giggle.....oh me oh my......


----------



## Yaya & Kais mom (Nov 27, 2001)

A friend of mine emailed me this thread, and tho my dd is and was quite a bit younger, I had to share!

When my dd was about 22 mo, and my ds abt 3mo, she was totally obsessed about his penis. She wanted one for herself sooo badly! She would ask us if she could buy one.. what do you say to that? "thats a conversation we can have when your 18 honey..."?
Well, one day we were at the mall eating and she has her little purse up one the table (big girlie-girl here!), and this older lady comes up to us "what a pretty little girl, with a pretty little purse! What are you going to buy today?" My dear little one quite loudly announces "I am going to buy a penis. Like Kai-Kai's!" (her name for her little bro) I think I tried to say something about "oh yes, we will buy peanuts at the grocery store later honey..." But unfortunatly I have a very verbal little one with very good enunciation, and I don tthinnk the woman bought it!

Now, 4 months later, she is still really into talking about penis's, especially during her borhters diaper changes, esp out in public. The other day at a community playgroup I am changing her brother and she goes "AWW look at that itsy bitsu penis! Kai-Kai has a little bity penis, daddy has a big 'ole penis and mommy and Yaya (herself) have 'ginas!" As loud as she can be. Thank gods we were in a room full of mommies!

What can you do?!


----------



## dotcommama (Dec 30, 2001)

Yaya & Kais mom - I can just picture that little old ladies face!

:LOL



































:LOL


----------



## Linda in Arizona (Nov 20, 2001)

Sometimes I really wish that we had kept penises a secret from our children. One day when some friends were coming over to play, Cheyenne annouced as everyone entered wether or not they had a penis. "Alex is a boy -- he has a penis. Alex's mommy is a girl -- she doens't have a penis" and so on and so.

Death is another great subject for my kids. Last year we were in Ireland visisting my DH's family and went to visit his mother's grave. It was the first time that Ali (who was 4 at the time) had been to grave and been old enough to understand where she was. Later, when we returned to my FIL house, she looked up at her Granda and said, "We saw your wife while we were out. She's dead."


----------



## serenetabbie (Jan 13, 2002)

 oh my!


----------



## joesmom (Nov 19, 2001)

Some of these stories are really cute, but I have a question...
I took my 3 yo ds to the dr. with me the other day & as I was waiting for my prescription a man with a birthmark covering his entire face cae, in & sat down across the room. Joe did not notice him until we were leaving & we had to walk by him.

"Mommy, look at that man. See his lips? They're funny."

He was not being mean at all (obviously), but I felt horrible anyway. What could I have said? I just mumbled something & DRAGGED him to the car. I did not reprimand him, he's quite sesitive & would've probably cried & cried, but that night before bed I held him & told him how that man probably feels sad when people stare at him.

I feel worse that I didn't say something to the man... what would you do?

Thanks for your help!

Jenny


----------



## Forest Sage (Nov 22, 2001)

Hi Jenny, my cousin has a birthmark covering her face and alot of her body, as well as other health concerns such as epilepsy and glaucoma. We don't see much of her, but next time we see her I'm sure we will have to have this conversation. I will tell him she was born that way. Then after he comments, I will take the opportunity to tell him (again) that everybody is different.
I know it must have made you feel badly, but for what it's worth I'm sure that man has heard it all before and probably doesn't dwell on whatever a child says about him for very long.
I know my cousin doesn't....she is 20 now and has been experiencing what it is like to look different her whole life.


----------



## ramlita (Mar 26, 2002)

Just thought I'd bump this with my own favorite story:

A friend of my mom's took her little girl to a movie. At a quiet moment in the film, the little one suddenly let out a huge, loud fart.
She was so startled that her own body did this that she yelled out "MOMMY!!!" in surprise!









(so everyone thought the mom had done the fart)























Keep em coming! Is there some sort of Hall of Fame for great threads??


----------



## Forest Sage (Nov 22, 2001)

Right on! I love it when old threads are revived!


----------



## Emilee (Mar 19, 2002)

I'm sure I have plenty of my own stories - but I was just telling this one to my boss today.....
My sister took her 3y/o ds to his fathers baseball game. They were sitting in the stands with all of the other wives and children and her ds said loudly (do 3 year olds say anything quietly?) "Mommy, why do you have hair on your butt???" My sister - who almost couldn't speak, said to him quietly "People sometimes get hairy when they grow up." My nephew then proceeded to cry - chanting "I don't want to grow up and have hair on my butt like you!" - over and over again...
This was a story I reminded my self of in my early 20's - with a "your'e not ready to have kids until you are ready to endure this..." preface.









oh oh....not embarassing - but soooo cute. My dd said to me last night while I was putting her down to bed "Mommy - are my babies up in heavan waiting for me to have them?"


----------



## MamaLuna (Feb 13, 2002)

These stories reminded me of so many embarrassing moments w/ my dd. So I will share a couple. But first, my advice...I just tell dd that it's ok to think it in your head, but not to say it outloud (in front of person) because it could be hurtful, but later "in privacy" we can talk about it. This works most of the time, but maybe it's something that they understand as they get older. As far as what to say to the person, "opps sorry" is about all you can do. So here are my contributions:

When dd was about 21/2, we were at the grocery store and ran into a snobby lady I kind of knew. This lady normally would not even speak to me, but on this day decided to be friendly, and as she was talking to dd, dd not only stuck her tongue out at her, but did a raspberry at her too!!







I did an "oops, sorry" and tried to get out of there, but as we were leaving, dd says really loud "I DO NOT like that woman!" I guess she picked up on my vibes because I didn't like her either and was wishing I could stick my tongue out at her too!!







:

Also, we used to live across the street from a lady with 6 little dogs and she used to let them run loose every morning. All 6 of them would come poop in our yard, so you can imagine the string of words that came out of my mouth as we were rushing out the door in the morning, only to step in a pile of fresh poop. So, one day we went into a shop in town and were surprised to see the lady from across the street working there, as we were paying, she leaned over the counter and asked dd "do you know who I am? I am the lady with all the little dogs." You can imagine the response from dd: " WELL....you shouldn't let your dogs out because they come and poop in our yard and WE DON'T LIKE IT!!!" Ah, the beauty of honesty, wish I had that kind of spunk some days. But, what do you say to that "Well, gotta run..." was about all I could manage...(while trying not to laugh)

And lastly, one from my own childhood...My mom took me w/ her to the DMV one time, and we were waiting in one of those endless lines. Well, my mom had finally gotten to the counter, and I was finally bored out of my mind (i was 2-ish), when a nice old man came and tapped my mom on the shoulder and said "uh, maam, your daughter..." I was standing in front of everyone pulling pants and all up, down, up, down, up, down....hee hee


----------



## bandzsmom (Jun 2, 2002)

:LOL I haven't laughed this hard in a long time! Of course I'm reminded of some woderfully embarrasing times myself. When dd was about three she was very interested in animals , particularly mammals. I explained to her that mammals have fur or hair, nurse their babies, etc. A few days later at the mall she eyes this woman bottlefeeding her baby and announces proudly "Mama! That lady is not a mammal!" My now three yr old ds loves to announce when people stink and announces his own burps and farts. A friend of mine's dh taught her son to say "Mom!" every time he farted! Nice guy!


----------



## momofthreecuties (Mar 11, 2002)

These are cracking me up!!! It is bad enough they say somethng embarrassing but when they say it about you, it goes way beyond embarrassing!! A few years ago we were grocery shopping and I had to go to the bathroom really bad...I dragged my sons in the stall with me then a new born and a 2 1/2 yo...cause when you gotta go you gotta go!!! So after that we go to the checkout my dear son then proceeded to tell everyone in line and again to the cashier that his mom smelled up the bathroom!!!! I wanted to disappear!!!!!!!!









momofthreecuties


----------



## tnrsmom (Apr 8, 2002)

AAAAAHHHHHHHH, the joys of motherhood! I was standing line at a department store waiting to return a couple of things this morning and the lady working customer service was NOT very friendly, or quick for that matter. I had ds and dd in the double stroller and the baby in the sling. The kids had been pretty good but were getting antsy. I had started to tune them out and was just looking around when I hear them starting to argue.

DS " No, you don't have a penis"

Dd " Yes I do have a penis. Mom, Nicky said I don't have a penis."

This went on for quite a while because since they weren't really fighting, more debating, I just let it go. At least they ween't whining about how long we were going to be. The people around me thought I was crazy. Oh well!


----------



## DeChRi (Apr 19, 2002)

How funny! My 3 yr old dd also likes to announce her farts and burps. Today we had someone come to fix our door. It was a very masculine looking female. We are coming in and dd says " mommy what is that man doing?" I said, "She is fixing our door" to which dd loundly says, "NO mom it's a he!" and on and on.
The worst moment we have had was last week. I went out to do errands for a couple hours and my dh was watching Ace Ventura Pet Detective. Dd was playing and I am sure catching bits and pieces of the movie. For those who haven't seen the movie, there is a scene when Jim Carry bends over, and pretends to talk with his butt saying, "may I ass you a few questions?" . I came home irritated that dh watched it while dd was there then the whole thing was forgotten. The next night we had company and dd was getting ready for bed and running around in nothin but a big long t shirt. I walk in hte room and sure enough, there is dd bend over, sqeezin her bare cheeks to our company saying, "hi, my name is butt!". Our friends thought it was the best entertainment ever, but dh slept on hte couch that night.


----------



## Rennie (Jan 28, 2002)

I've been laughing for the past 20 minutes reading this thread - I've got some more amusing/embarrassing stories...

This happened when my ds was about 2 1/2 - I took him into the bathroom stall w/me (the only one available was the handcapped stall & I really had to go) - while I was squatting over the toilet peeing he squatted down behind the toilet and said loudly "Mama, you pee out of your butt."









Also around the same age when he'd learned about boys/men having a penis & girls/women having a vagina he went up to my 89 yr. old grandmother & asked her if she had a vagina. I didn't know what to say, but leave it to a great grandmother to handle it gracefully - she just said "Yes." and left it at that.

About 5 months ago (ds had just turned 4) we were at coffee hour @ our church (after the service) & I was engrossed in a good conversation & didn't notice where ds was. Then all of a sudden we hear him screaming "Can anybody hear me!" over & over again. When we checked - he was sitting on the toilet pooping with the door wide open. No modesty.









And the last one - this just happened last week - we had to meet a contractor at our church who is starting a job for us. The man asked if he could use the bathroom & my sweet ds asked him if he was going to make pee!























Renate
Christof 12/97


----------



## charmarty (Jan 27, 2002)

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!This thread is just what I needed!Thanks !!!!LOL


----------



## fullcirclesb (Dec 18, 2001)

Lobster claws tae the cake!


----------



## Cassidy (Nov 19, 2001)

Please don't let this thread die!

Our oldest daughter was 3-1/2 when we sold our first house. The real estate agent was frequently at our house during the whole process and made constant reference to thePurchase and Sale Agreement, or "P&S" in real estate lingo. Well, one day dd looks him right in the eye and says, "Why are you always telling us about your penis?" I thought he was going to dissolve right before my eyes...


----------



## serendipidy (Jun 16, 2002)

This thread is such a riot!

I have a story to share too. About a year ago, our then 4 year old son was going through a time of, should we say, instruction on when it is and is not OK to fondle his penis. On Easter sunday, we were having dinner with DH's family from out of town - mother, aunts, cousins, etc. Grace was said, and ds wanted to say grace too. All the aunties thought this was so cute, up until the part of the prayer where ds asked God to please help him to remember that he does not have to play with his penis all the time. Luckily everyone else thought it was funny too, and the biggest challenge was to contain our laughter. After he said amen, he looked up and said "why is everyone smiling?"


----------



## ~member~ (May 23, 2002)

Okay -the scene, of course, a public restroom in busy mall, Mall of America to be exact! DD was about four yrs. old. I got my period unexpectedly, so rushed in with her. the machine was all out of pads, so I had to buy a tampon. You know, the one that comes in the huge applicator.
So, I drag DD into the stall with me and am doing what needs to be done when all of a sudden she yells, "Mama! Why are you puttin' that thing in yer BUTT!?!"









I had to wait until the silence went away before I could exit


----------



## mamapixie (May 30, 2002)

Hmm, I think the most embarassing thing my son ever said in public was when he was about 3. We were walking into a local store, and a, shall we say, large woman was walking into the store in front of us. Ben says to me "mommy, will that lady fit thru the door?" OMG, I just about died, and I'm sure this woman heard him too. I acted like I didn't hear him, and we turned right around and left.

I'm just waiting to hear some new gems out of his mouth though, especially once the new baby comes.


----------



## Momof4 (Jan 25, 2002)

My MIL turns shades every time one of my kids says penis -- and her husband is a urologist!

My favorite penis story is from three summers ago. DD1 was 3 and ds was 1. We had a teenage girl over to introduce her to the kids. She was supposed to go with us on a beach vacation as a mother's helper and had only met dd1. I said to dd, tell J about your brother and sister, what are their favorite toys and things to do. DD1 says, Jonny's favorite toy is his penis, he plays with it all the time. We never saw this girl again! She had her mother call and say they had changed their minds about letter her go!


----------



## Ahappymel (Nov 20, 2001)

Whew! I shouldn't be having this much fun at work!!!
These are HILARIOUS!
My babe is still too little for me to have stories of his own (boy, this thread makes me look forward to the side-splitting memories that are yet to come!).
Here's my story:
My hubby and I were grocery shopping on a Sunday afternoon. We reached the meat isle where I spotted a raggedy looking mom (ha! I'm one to talk...sleep-deprivation makes ANYONE raggedy) trailing a very energetic preschooler behind her. Well, this little boy kept poking a package of fish with his finger inquisitively and then he put his face up close to the package, took a huge whiff and loudly exclaimed, "Mommy, this fish smells like you!!!"
Oh my gosh, we almost blew out our nasal passages trying not to laugh until we were out of ear shot!
Kids, kids, kids!!!!


----------



## hahamommy (Dec 18, 2001)

The Joys of Motherhood!!























When I went to my bestfriend's house for the first time, she warned me that her 2.5 yo dd had a breast fetish, since watching her baby brother nurse... I sat on the couch and ZoAnne promptly stuck her hand up my sweater and announced "Wow! You'll really be able to feed your babies!" I took it as a blessing~ she was right









Just a couple of weeks ago, the kids and I went with a friend to his grandparents house (Brian is Deaf, thought I could help interpret). It is incredibly obvious that he is much younger than I (soon 22) and equally obvious that he has a crush on me... Gramma was gently questioning me over dinner, trying to figure out our relationship, etc... DD, soon 6, first _insists_ I tell the gramma how much she misses nursing (weaned 1.5 years ago!) and if that wasn't shock enough for the poor woman, Hannah announces "Mom, you're already 34!" I just rolled with it, acting like this was soooo normal.









When the kids ask questions about people that I cannot answer, I respond with, "well, I dunno honey, but we should ask them" if they want to know bad enough, they will be brave enough to ask; the Great Majority of people are open to children's curiosity and open honest questions. Sometimes I think it's the adults/parents who make strangers feel bad, by their embarrassed reaction to the kids' questions. DD asked me once why Brian's brother isn't Deaf but Brian is... I said, "why do you have blue eyes and your brother has brown?" "God made us that way" "Well, He didn't make them the same either" Brian liked my answer and later explained to the kids, himself.

Enjoy this, soon enough we'll be trying to read their minds to know what they're thinking!!


----------



## lucina3 (Jun 25, 2002)

My oldest daughter was 4.5 and the first day of JK she came home in tears. It took awhile to figure out what was upsetting her... it finally came out...

"Mom they are going to cut off all the boys' penises and put them in bags to take home so they can come to school!!!!"

I was a bit stunned so I asked her why and she said "The teacher said this school is penis free and if we brought a penis we had to take it home in a bag!"

We had a long discussion after that on the pronounciation difference between PENIS and PEANUTS!


----------



## mommyinIL1976 (Jan 20, 2008)

I had to bump this thread. I almost died laughing so hard.


----------

