# Done having kids- sad about- normal?



## shelbean91 (May 11, 2002)

I have 3 kids. We're done. I've been sure we were 'done' before we had our 3rd, who was a very pleasant surprise. I had hard (for me) pregnancies, all kids were born 5 weeks early, and while healthy, it's still stressful. My 3rd was a csection after 2 easy vaginal deliveries.

Dh is getting a V on Friday. It's permanent. It's good. I don't want to get pg again. I don't want to go through newborn stage again. The kids are at the age where I can leave them w/dh for a few hours without it being a major hassle. I graduated a year ago and became a teacher. I'm wrapping up my first year of teaching, which is very challenging and involved.

There are a zillion reasons why our family is perfect as it is. There are a zillion reasons why I don't want any more biological children (we're open to adoption, but know that's a tough road as well). It's still sad to me.

It's not cold feet. I don't want dh to cancel the appt. I'm glad we won't have to worry about b/c anymore. It's just another major milestone in our lives that is closing a chapter on a portion of our lives and that's hard.

anyone else experience this?


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## zjandosmom (Dec 13, 2004)

YES! me too.............kids need me but will elaborate later


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## zjandosmom (Dec 13, 2004)

Ok.........that only took about a month! I can so relate to what you are feeling. As soon as I saw the double lines on the pg test I felt 'done'. I had never felt that way with any of my other pg. I wanted dh to get the V while I was pg but he wanted to wait. He had it when dd was about 4 m old. I am glad he had it done. I know I cannot handle any more kids. 4 is my limit. BUUUUUt I am still sad that I won't ever be pregnant again, won't give birth, hold a newborn, share the birthing experience with dh, give my children another new baby, etc. Makes me incredibly sad. On the flip side..I am excited to be done with 'that' phase in our lives. We are starting a new chapter as I see it. I don't have to hold onto baby clothes, the high chair, etc. Good thing this is the last because my diapers are falling apart!! So all that to say I share your mixed feelings and I would guesss we are not the only ones. It's hard to close the door to any more babies. I envy the women who are just starting their families it's such a fun amazing time. It truly does go so quickly. I really tried to soak up every minute of my dd as a newborn but how quickly you forget the feel of that little body in your arms. Ok-now I want to cry.
k


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## Juliacat (May 8, 2002)

It's always sad when something ends, even if the ending is desirable.


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## Nathan1097 (Nov 20, 2001)

Yes. Two of my three pregnancies were high-risk- hospitalization and the home-bedrest for between 6 and 8 weeks each. I had my then-dh get a vasectomy when the youngest was nearly 3 months. I vowed I could never go through a pregnancy again. And I don't want to! I still think newborns are soft and my youngest and I were just looking at a pic of him at 2-months, about an hour ago, in fact! So sweet and soft! But... I'm done.







No more huge, milky breasts, no more bedrest and bleeding and HORRIBLE mag. sulfate in the hospital.... I tend to remember the 5 minutes of bliss at a time with our babies and forget all the ICK that I endured trying to get them here. Now, I'm divorced and have been in a relationship for 2 years this Fall, and yes- I'm still hoping to never be pregnant again! And yeah- babies are sweet and cute, but at this point, I'll watch someone else's for a while. I can sit and relive the memories with a box of pictures or a webpage with my kids.


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## shelbean91 (May 11, 2002)

Glad to hear I'm not alone. Everything went well with the V and we're slowly getting back in the saddle, so to speak. Once we get the all clear, things will be VERY good!


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