# Are your towels/bedding frayed/holey/threadbare/torn? Do you have no furniture? Etc...



## laohaire (Nov 2, 2005)

I am just curious to know if anybody out there also lives this way. If so, why?

Maybe I'm just being too wrapped up in things that are not important, but it is just kind of coming clear to me that we're the only ones we know who live this way. And I'm not sure what we're doing wrong, or if we ARE in fact doing anything wrong.

I've seen people here on MDC working to get out of debt but say they "have" to buy new towels since theirs are "5 years old." Oh, I know that's just one person out of many, but when I go over other people's houses, I see they have matched towel sets and all. Our towels are 100% hand-me-downs from our parents, about 20 years old, there are not even two matched pairs. When I hang them out to dry it's startling to see how many holes there are (the sunlight shines through them). Most are frayed at the edges. All are absolutely beat up.

Sheets - I just sewed up a patch on one set, but there's another sheet with widening holes that I have to work on, plus an ultra-cheap quilt we had (gift from my mother) is absolutely coming apart. I mean coming apart to the degree that I have to hold it in place when making the bed, not merely in the "getting ugly" sense. Most of our sheets are hand-me-downs but a couple we bought - but they were cheap Walmart sheets (and, frankly, those are the ones that are coming apart - before the older hand-me-downs).

Are we choosing the wrong priorities? Is it just so inexpensive to have proper bedding and towels that we are doing ourselves a disservice by doing this?

We keep saying that when we are out of debt, or at least closer to it, and have more savings, we will spend some money on the extras. But that day just does not seem to be coming. At all. Ten years have gone by and we're no better off. Our walls are bare and unpainted because we don't want to blow money on extras. But I just don't see the day when we can say "ahh, spending $50 on a few cans of paint and supplies will be no sweat."

COULD we spend $50 on paint? Yes we could. But we just keep prioritizing other things (saving and debt, not that we're getting anywhere on either). Are we wrong? Especially since we just don't seem to be getting anywhere? COULD I blow $100 on a new comforter? Sure, but it would mean we'd have $0 added to our savings that month.

So, are we crazy for not just spending money here and there when we're not getting anywhere anyway? Would it be worth it to have a house that doesn't look like we're a couple of college kids who haven't really moved in yet? We don't have a sofa - never have, except one summer when a guy donated his 1970s sofa from his basement. Our cat peed on it about three dozen times and we gave up and trashed it. I have been seeing other people's houses, even people who have a similar (lousy) income as us, who have gorgeous houses. Thick oriental rugs. Not merely furniture, but matching, classy furniture. End tables. The works. Our 2 foot fake Walmart Christmas tree that MIL handed down to us is sitting on the FLOOR. MIL gave us our two beds as gifts years ago (one as a wedding gift, the other as a house-christaining gift). If she hadn't, I strongly suspect we'd be sleeping on mattresses on the floor, no box springs or frame. (Of course we don't have headboards or anything like that).

I'm sorry, I didn't mean for this to be a vent, but an honest question - are we living the wrong way? Would it be better for us to divert some money toward having a decent house, since we're just never going to be well off anyway?


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## woodchick (Jan 5, 2007)

We do spend some money on our house, some repairs here some paint there.. but nothing major. We have fraying towels that I repair. We have old sheets that have been patched. Like you, we prioritize. We'd much rather pay off debt or give to our church than have expensive, fancy bedding.

Almost all of our furniture is hand-me-down. Nothing matches. I don't have a decorator's eye, so the stuff on our walls is pretty random.

But, I have put a little thought and effort into the house, so although it doesn't look as 'put together' as some of our friends, I think it looks okay. Our house will never be in a magazine or on a house tour. It is comfortable for us, has enough room for us and our stuff and does it's job keeping us safe, warm and dry.

If you are really bothered by something (say, an unpainted wall) then I don't think it would be such a big deal to spend the money on that one thing. If it doesn't bother you, then it's no problem!


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## FrugalGranolaMom (Dec 1, 2009)

I just recently had a "do we need new towels?" conversation with DH the other night. He mentioned wanting to get new (matching) towels. The ones we have are mismatched and old and the edges has started to fray. We are also working toward eliminating our debt and saving money so I can be a SAHM next year. So, I weigh any purchase we make against the bigger picture, being home with my son, and it has certainly shifted my mindset about what I "need".

Does it bother you the way your things are or the fact that your walls are bare? If it does, look for inexpensive ways to change it. Maybe, pick one thing to get per month. Go to garage sales, thrift stores, freecycle or craigslist. You could make your own wall art with photos, magazines, wrapping paper, old calendars, etc. and get cheap frames at the dollar store.


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## mommaof3boz (Feb 15, 2006)

Well paying off debt and saving are very important. BUT there is also the thought of spending your whole life waiting to be happy. If you are happy with the ways things are then fine. If you aren't and are always looking down the road to someday then it is a problem. There has to be a happy medium. My thought on our house-its our biggest investment at this point. (we have a house, several barns and 40 acres). If we don't take care of it and keep it well maintained I am, in the long run, losing our equity. So we are going to put in new windows very soon, insulation, etc. Thats a huge hunk of change. My walls are kept freshly painted and simply, tastefully decorated. HOWEVER, we shop the sales for food, watch the ads for jeans when the kids need them, buy furniture off craigslist, use christmas money for things like good coats and gloves. I don't want to be cold in this house for the rest of my life and have a great savings account. I'd rather have a comfortable home and an ok savings account. If we ever needed to, down the road, we could sell and downsize. But not if we've let things go downhill. As for towels-I'd get one nice set for company (primarily hand towels cause thats all they usually use) and use the frayed ones myself. Sheets-sorry but I like getting into my comfy cozy bed. I have one nice set of sheets per bed. Wash and remake weekly. Walls don't have to be expensively decorated. You can even get "mistint "
paint in some great colors at Lowes for 7-12 dollars a gallon. I've made some gorgeous curtains out of sale rack sheets in the past. Garage sales and thrift stores are the place to get wall stuff. Do what feels right to you.


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## stik (Dec 3, 2003)

Once your sheets get holey, they are no longer doing their job protecting your mattress. Mattresses are expensive to replace. I would spring for new sheets - you can get deals on clearance in January, usually, especially if you don't mind sleeping on winter-y prints all year.

A lot of the stuff you describe I would (and do) live with in the interests of saving money and being frugal. But sometimes, you have to look at the long term impact of not spending and make some changes. Do you have a portion of your savings earmarked for routine household maintenance and repairing/replacing things as they wear out? I would see a lot of what you are describing as things that are sensible uses of that portion of your savings.


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## oiseau (Mar 30, 2008)

Our towels are pretty beat up, but not threadbare. They're mostly all hand-me-downs from our parents. My fiance has a major thing about stuff matching and his dream would be to have a few sets of matching towels. I know we'll be getting married in a year or two and I figure towels are wedding present type things, so I'm just gonna stick it out til then.

We have a few newish sheets that we purchased when I was going through chemo and sweating like crazy at night. They were fairly cheap at Ikea, but nice and soft. The pillowcase I usually use is from when I was a kid, so it's probably 20 years old. Our blankets are a random assortment of gifts from my fiance's godmother over the years, our parent's houses and a few newer college dorm leftovers (from our own dorm rooms...i realize that could have been interpreted rather grossly lol!). Our dishes are the same mix: mostly stuff leftover from college with very few matching sets.

We've picked up bits and pieces of furniture in the 5 years we've been together, but it's mostly cheap Ikea stuff. After our last big move, we graduated from free craigslist couches to an Ikea couch, but our cats have destroyed the cover, so it was really just a $200 exercise in futility.

All that having been said, I think my house, bed, towels and everything are very comfortable and they feel homey to me. The only thing I even really have any desire to replace is the towels! I have other priorities for my money. So long as I've got the basics covered, I'm good. Sure, my dishes don't match, but they're still usable, so I see no reason to spend the money to replace them. I do agree with a previous poster though...if it's bugging you, change it! I think most of the things you mentioned could be obtained relatively inexpensively. Otherwise, if you're happy with things the way they are, don't worry about it! You're living the right way if you're happy


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## GreenGranolaMama (Jul 15, 2009)

I want new sheets SOOOO badly! Dh and I got married back in September so (of course) a month before the wedding my face broke out with acne in a massive way (probably pre wedding stress : P ) . Out of desperation, I opted to go with some peroxide stuff to clear it up quick before the wedding...and accidentally bleached our nice organic sheet set : ( It makes me sad every time I change the sheets (we have another set that is too small for our bed and torn at the corners from being stretched to fit) because I loved these sheets so much! We're building a cabin in the woods and moving in a year or so, so I promised myself that I would buy us new sheets once we are in our new house, so for now we deal with it : P


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## HeatherAtHome (Apr 4, 2009)

Well, yes, half of our towels are threadbare, ripped and discoloured! We're still doing some major ("basic", nothing fancy) work on our house so once things are "done" and cleaner around here I'm going to buy new towels.I might get some sooner as I have been asked by family what we want for christmas and I mentioned towels, dishcloths, dishtowels etc.

I pick up most of our stuff second hand and if I'm looking for something specific, I let my family know so they can keep their eyes open or pass on extras they may have.

My dishes are all mismatched and bought second hand but they are all white. They go together.

All our furniture is from the thrift shop or passed on from family members. My rule is to look for real wood furniture over mdf/melanmine/particle board stuff. I sand, paint/stain. For couches and chairs, I visit the thrift shop a couple times to get something just right instead of settling on good enough. Our thrift shop is GREAT but sometimes they have some ugly stuff!

I have a couple quilts made by my grandmother when I was younger. They're too small for our queen sized bed but I turn them sideways and use them across the bottom of the bed over other blankets (helps with chilly feet!) Our mattress is still on the floor, when I finally do our bedroom (paint with $10 oops paint, install flooring that came with our house) I'll look for a bed frame or build one a la Ana White with left over lumber.

If we could just finish the family room, I could clean and reorganize the house and THEN I would be happy with our space. I'm fine with the stuff we have, I just don't like the layer of plaster dust all over it and the way things are shoved into corners! Done by Christmas! *fingers crossed*


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## Nitenites (Jan 23, 2003)

I can't really get into the philosophical argument of new sheets/towels, but I can give you some practical hints about what I do.

We set aside money in our budget every month for "household maintenance." This is for things like replacing a leaking faucet, or buying caulk for windows, or even dinner plates. Things do wear out and need replacing. So I put a line in our budget. Sometimes we know an expense is coming, and we "bump up" that amount for the month. Sometimes it catches us by surprise and we have to wait until next month to replace the needed item. We have debt, we're paying it off. We're building savings. But we also have to have a liveable house.

Secondly, I really shop the sales. Really. I keep an eye on a couple of money-saving blogs, and that helps. For example, there was a recent deal where you could get a set of towels (two bath towels, two hand towels, two washcloths) from a major retailer for $2.99, shipped. Great deal! I can fit that in the budget! When sheets go on sale at Target (lots of white sales in Jan/Feb) I keep my eyes peeled. Last spring, I scored complete flannel sheet sets for each of my boys for $6 each. Those sheets will last us a few years. When you average out how many months we'll be using those sheets, and think about the monthly/daily cost of them, it's pennies! That's $1 month, per bed, for 6 months. Not bad. Could you maybe start an envelope and stash a dollar or three in there a week? By the time spring comes, you could buy some new towels. Break the amount down into smaller, incremental amounts, keep your eyes open for a good deal (check over the clearance racks and shelves when you're out) and buy when you find a good deal and have a bit of $$.


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## ChristyMarie (May 31, 2006)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *laohaire*
> 
> ...
> 
> ...


I think this says it all, you are prioritizing getting debt paid off over new towels or paint. Different priorities are not wrong, just different.

However, if it is really bothering you then I agree with the other posters who have said to set aside a little each month and shop the sales.

I have awesome sheets - but I never pay full price. I shop TJMaxx and such until I find sheets on sale. I stick to white or beige in one brand I like and build sets as I can. I now have all the sets I need - all bought at a major discount - but it took a while to find them all. I've done the same thing with all our blankets and down blankets and pillows. Check the discount places every few weeks and pick stuff up when it is on sale or clearance. I still get giddy when I think of the king down blanket I bought for $19.99 - original price tag of $200 still attached.

You can do the same with towels. Just pick a color (I'd go with white) and build as you find really good sales.

If the bare walls bother you - check out the Lowe's/Home Depot/Menards mistake paint. It is often under $5 a gallon. Look until you find colors you like.

There are ways to do it at a huge discount - but it takes extra time and patience. You have to figure out which brands are worth the investment and at what price point they are a good deal. And you have to decide which is more important - building a set of towels or paying off debt. That answer is going to be different for everyone.


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## laohaire (Nov 2, 2005)

Thanks for the perspectives. I do apologize for my little pity party. I'm not proud of those at all, but getting perspective from other women is just invaluable to me.

So the question is: does it bother me? I guess I was trying to figure that out... and I guess the fact that I wrote the thread must mean it bothers me at least a little, right? The question is, how much - or maybe the question is, should it bother me at all.

I don't shop (part of being frugal - I'm just never in Target or wherever, except sometimes Walmart because we buy cat litter and toothpaste there). So it's hard for me to follow the sales. I don't like to expose myself to consumer items because I don't want to have any temptations. It's so easy to look at a weekly flyer and say "oooh, that is a cute dress." And even if I don't buy it (which I probably won't) then I'll be THINKING about that dress. This thread itself is evidence of that - the only reason I got to thinking about this stuff is because lately I've been going to people's houses, new friends of DD's. And I see their stuff. And I wonder what we're doing wrong, and try to figure out the math - how can they afford this and that and the other, even things I don't personally desire but that add to the equation that I can't figure out (like we have one car and we're happy with it, but another family has TWO, and NICER, cars - AND all these fancy things in their house).

A PP mentioned our house is in investment and we have to maintain it to keep it up - but is towels really maintenance? We absolutely do keep up with the structure of the house and always have - the roof, the windows, they are all in excellent shape. There's nothing wrong with our HOUSE, we just don't have nice things inside it, haven't decorated or furnished it in any way, etc. Sure, there are parts that need updating (the bathtub is old and cheap, the kitchen floor is old) but it's solid. The walls were painted neutral white when it was for sale, so we moved in with fresh paint, it's just white (or off white or whatever) and isn't decorated, no personality, not finished.

Yes, we could set up a budget for home maintenance, but same thing - the budget is not going to come out of nowhere, it's going to eat into the lousy amount we save. I'll just go ahead and give you guys numbers for perspective, real numbers, what the heck, I'm anonymous. We have $535 in our emergency fund right now. Yup, pathetic. I've been holding the financial reins for 2 months, and in October I managed to put away $21, and in November I got that up to $95. So spending $50 is going to eat into our savings, you see? And the reason isn't because we're blowing money on lattes or curtains or clothes or haircuts or cable or anything.

I am thinking I might just prioritize things, and do one thing that would make me feel the best. Maybe paint the bathroom. Maybe $25 for the paint and supplies, and keep the supplies in good shape for a later project in another room. And maybe in a year we could do something else.


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## mnnice (Apr 15, 2003)

I too struggle a little with this topic too. Not because we have debt, but where exactly are things too junky for daily use. My DSs sleep on a bed that is ancient. They both seem to sleep well and say it is comfortable. It would not work for me.

I have a ton of quality towels that we got for wedding gifts nearly 11 years ago. They were quality towels because they don't have holes and the hems are intact, but they are all in light colors that were not the best for a family with two messy little boys. They aren't wore out but sometimes I think they are grunged out.

As for bedding I think I have some borderline sensory issues with sheets







. I have several sets that look just fine that I will put on my kids beds that I will not put on my own. I don't think I could handle patched sheets We all have beautiful quilts since my mom is prolific and talented quilter. Currently she is done with our beds and now working on window quilts for our drafty old windows


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## jeminijad (Mar 27, 2009)

Holey sheets are beyond the pale- not because they aren't nice, but because your body secretions are getting on the mattresses.

Threadbare towels? Well, they aren't absorbing half the water a newer towel would, because you've lost 50% of the fabric the towel was made with. But like everyone says, if it doesn't bother you, then no problem.

But if you can get 20 years out of your towels, try to think about how that is a worthwhile investment. You will have to shop a bit. Going out and paying full price, or close to it, because you don't know what is out there is just as bad as buying daily lattes! You can get a very nice set of towels for $50 if you shop around. That $50 spent means 20 more years of towels (well, probably 10, things aren't made as well anymore.) That same $50 in 10 years isn't going to be worth nearly as much... inflation and all that... and isn't the pleasure of stepping into a fluffy towel after a hot shower- a towel that is actually big enough to wrap up in- divided out over 10 years worth $50?

This is just a snapshot of how I decide whether something is worth buying. YMMV.


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## EviesMom (Nov 30, 2004)

Mismatched is not an issue IMO, although I think it's useful to have a look you're striving for, so if things become available or people want to know what they can get you, you are aiming for a color of wood; certain colors for each room; a theme for the room. You needn't spend money getting it all matchy, but once you have all the basics covered, you can start replacing things to slowly over time grow into the look you want. If you're going for all white minimalist eventually, and you have a dark brown bookshelf, and a relative offers you a different dark brown bookshelf, you can say no thanks, we're hoping to move to all white. (You could also paint it if you go for white rather than wood tones).

Holes in sheets and towels though I feel is a use and efficiency issue. I would replace them, although you don't need tons or matching sets or anything. Just watch for lone towels or sheet sets on clearance and as long as you have some without holes, do the same as above and if you see "your color" on clearance buy it, otherwise pass it up.

Oh, and I always find it exciting to shop for something specific, you just have to have a set budget and a set thing you are shopping for. You can have fun shopping for new towels or sheets, just stick to the budget (bring cash). If you spend less than your budgeted amount, you can buy a splurge with the rest of it.


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## plantnerd (Aug 20, 2010)

I think that there are extremes, and the way you are going is one of them. You can at least replace items that are done or destroyed without blowing a bunch of money on new stuff. Thrift stores are great for household items, just wash in hot water to make sure there's no buggies. We don't have all new stuff, but a very nicely cared for and furnished house, and no, we don't have a lot of money. To me my home is my castle, and considering the amount of time I spend here I like it to be pleasing and comfortable. I also kind of gave in to the idea of being debt free a couple of years ago, no matter what I'm going to owe somebody something. We work not only to live but to enjoy the fruits of our labor.


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## Ola_ (Sep 5, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *mommaof3boz*
> 
> Well paying off debt and saving are very important. BUT there is also the thought of spending your whole life waiting to be happy. If you are happy with the ways things are then fine. If you aren't and are always looking down the road to someday then it is a problem. There has to be a happy medium.


This is what I picked up from your post, and I think that making small, inexpensive changes around your home will make you feel more content with life. Not to say that you should aim to make your house like the others you see, with all matching furniture and all. But little things that you do will make it feel more homey.

I'd probably set aside a small amount of money, say $10/month and use it for something to make your home more appealing or comfortable to YOU. So after 3 months you may have enough money to paint some walls, you can get those error-mix paints for really cheap or get stuff from the Habitat Re-store shop if you have one nearby. It doesn't have to cost a lot and if you're not too picky it can be a very frugal way to paint. I think sheets and towels would definitely be a good investment. We started off with 2 sets of sheets for our bed, so we can rotate them and spread out the wear a bit. Same with towels - ok, ours are 95% hand-me-downs too but they're mostly white (a few are beige) and sort of go together. I'd choose one or two plain colours that you won't get tired of, you can always get a couple of cheap, colourful "accent" towels for display if you want to get fancy. We got a few navy and burgundy hand towels that go well with our basic colours for when people come over for gatherings, etc.

I'm not sure if there's an amount of money that you would be comfortable spending, so that part is really up to you. But I do think it's worth it. If you can't swing it financially, how about asking for these things as gifts?


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## Greenmama2 (Jul 24, 2009)

All our towels are hand me downs but we do have a couple of matching sets because SIL is a massage therapist and most of our towels are handed down from her.

DH is fussy about sheets but we really only have one matching set for the guest bed. It's the cotton/thread count he's fussy about, not what they look like.

Yes, I think we live like you and while I don't really know anyone else irl I don't think it's that unusual. As a PP said, different priorities are not wrong, just different. We spend money in areas that are important to us (organic, TF foods for instance) that many of our friends and acquaintances don't.


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## laohaire (Nov 2, 2005)

Just about the holey sheets - is that really a problem for the mattress? Doesn't the mattress pad protect it even if there are holes in the sheets?


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## goldenwillow (Jan 5, 2010)

What a welcome thread here this AM!

We have downsized our home dramatically in the past year and I love it. Finally got DH on board after he watched me the past few years, he is a bit of a self proclaimed pack rat but is changing for his own sanity! DH and I just had this chat last night about towels, don't have enough!. We too do not have a couch and really we just laugh about it. It broke awhile back and I just put an ad on Craigslist for free for someone to fix it and take it, which a nice girl did.

We are living in a rental that our landlord isn't into us painting (EVERYTHING IS WHITE HERE!), drives me nuts a bit, however, we live in the country and everything outside is so colorful, which I have brought the outdoors in a bit with willow branches, etc. Our wall art is up for the most part but our other art is packed due to DS (16 months) wanting to play with most of it and it isn't play worthy art. We plan to make shelves to display after Christmas.

We too go over to others houses and see all the decorations, matching sets, etc.... I have to remember that I love that type of decorating but I have never been one to go that route. My things, as well as DH's, have always been from 2nd hand stores and art our family and friends have crafted. Our house is really plain with lots of art. I am proud of that really. Our house doesn't look like a Pier 1 ad. I remind myself that most of our true friends homes are really like ours and the really decorated ones, well, everything including the people are decorated too and that really just isn't my family. It seems exhausting to me to keep up with trends and such.

Everyone's priorities are different, if it works for you and your family... go with it. I would however spring for the paint if you are able, I would! I live in the white room, lol!


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## matey (Sep 15, 2006)

We do not have a lot of money, but I don't feel our home looks so much like it. I can look up from where I am and see my sitting area which is furnished and decorated by all second hand items, including pillows, rugs, and christmas decor. Our whole house is full of used items, but that can look good too. Is it as stylish as some other homes? no. That's ok. I understand saving money but I want to feel comfortable and happy with my home. When the budget has allowed it, we hit up thrift stores band flea markets to personalize our space. Our emergency fund is not much bigger than yours, and while I know that it is important to have an emergency fund, I also know we will never have a lot of money so there is no point in waiting to be happy some other day.


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## jeminijad (Mar 27, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *laohaire*
> 
> Just about the holey sheets - is that really a problem for the mattress? Doesn't the mattress pad protect it even if there are holes in the sheets?


 Yes, if you have a pad, I guess that is a non issue. Didn't consider that you had a pad!


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## jeminijad (Mar 27, 2009)

Rereading your OP...

None of us can tell you that you have wrong priorities. Of course everyone finds different levels of material things to be acceptable. But eventually, the towels and the sheets will disintegrate. They will have to be replaced. What if you are in a worse spot then?


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## kittywitty (Jul 5, 2005)

Our towels are totally mismatched and some are frayed, but not threadbare. I would like matching towels but it seems wasteful to just dump them for something that matches. Our furniture totally does not match, either. At all.


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## goldenwillow (Jan 5, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *laohaire*
> 
> Just about the holey sheets - is that really a problem for the mattress? Doesn't the mattress pad protect it even if there are holes in the sheets?


I think that good sheets are a must in our home. We too have a mattress pad, our mattress was made for us organically with no chemical treatments so we really try to take care of it as best we can... that said our sheets are pretty old, but have no holes... very thin though! If you are able to wash your pad, you should be good to go!


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## laohaire (Nov 2, 2005)

Yeah, the pad is washable. Not organic or anything, just your basic pad.


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## earthmama369 (Jul 29, 2005)

We tend to fall on this end of the spectrum. We've been using towels that MIL "liberated" from a Marriott hotel at some point and passed on to us when she picked up new towels -- they're at least 15 years old and we've had them for 10 years. They all have multiple holes in them, so I finally sucked it up and hit a sale and got some lovely new fluffy towels for all of $2.57 each. It's worth it to me to comb the sales fliers to get a good deal when we do decide to spend the money, and the state of the towels had definitely hit the ridiculous point. Now they're "car repair and cat puke" towels and the new ones are for bathing. They still don't match -- I liked all the colors, so I got four in four different colors, no hand towels or anything. But it suits our tastes and needs and the new ones do add a level of enjoyment and pampering I wouldn't have expected.


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## Nitenites (Jan 23, 2003)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *laohaire*
> 
> I don't shop (part of being frugal - I'm just never in Target or wherever, except sometimes Walmart because we buy cat litter and toothpaste there). So it's hard for me to follow the sales. I don't like to expose myself to consumer items because I don't want to have any temptations. It's so easy to look at a weekly flyer and say "oooh, that is a cute dress." And even if I don't buy it (which I probably won't) then I'll be THINKING about that dress. This thread itself is evidence of that - the only reason I got to thinking about this stuff is because lately I've been going to people's houses, new friends of DD's. And I see their stuff. And I wonder what we're doing wrong, and try to figure out the math - how can they afford this and that and the other, even things I don't personally desire but that add to the equation that I can't figure out (like we have one car and we're happy with it, but another family has TWO, and NICER, cars - AND all these fancy things in their house).
> 
> ...


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## Nitenites (Jan 23, 2003)

Oh, and what you said about your DD's friends, having new everything, and matching everything - THOSE folks are probably up to their eyeballs in debt. But that doesn't stop me from sighing over their nice things and wishing I could afford all new things, too.

And then I remind myself that they can't afford those new things, either. It's just that I've chosen to live in a financially honest way, as have you!


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## 4evermom (Feb 3, 2005)

Thrift stores. freecycle, and craigslist are great ways to upgrade things frugally. And you don't get as sucked into wanting things as you can going through stores. I don't mind old towels though dh likes thick ones. I like mismatched ones so we can keep track of who is currently using which one and dh is less likely to use mine accidentally. Torn sheets or ones with bumps from mending would bug me (for sensory reasons). I like furniture and am amazed at some of the great deals on craigslist. I don't mind worn or old but I do have a sense of aesthetics and do frugally prioritize things fitting that. And the house is easier to keep tidy when you have the right kind of furniture. And it is much more comfortable.


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## Llyra (Jan 16, 2005)

I'm another one with older towels, and older sheets. My furniture is a bit on the shabby side, too. And we have a lot of dishes with small chips, and mismatched sets I found at the Goodwill, and stuff like that. I could probably afford to replace some of that, if it was bothering me. It's just not a priority for me. I'm trying to get out of a small debt. I want to send the twins to preschool next year. I put a high priority on the best quality food I can manage, because I have a chronic disease and eating well helps control it. So my priorities lie elsewhere.

What I do is keep an eye on what is probably going to need replacing someday. Then I keep my eye open, at the secondhand stores. Some really beautiful stuff turns up there, sometimes. It can take awhile-- I waited a whole year before my dream tablecloths turned up. But I find I can supply most of our household needs without having to buy new. And I get higher-quality at the secondhand shops-- what I could afford to buy new isn't nearly as nice as what some people give away.

Otherwise-- I content myself with the idea that my house is full of love and joy, and that we are all healthy, and that what our towels look like matters to nobody really.


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## journeywooz (Jun 2, 2009)

> Quote:
> 
> 
> > Originally Posted by *laohaire*
> ...


whooooooo!!! what a steal!


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## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

We don't have holey sheets or thinned out, stringy towels. I honestly don't think they are that expensive. You can buy like a 6-pack of towels at somewhere like Costco for less than $20, and cheap sheets that are also not horrible quality can be found online (or even walmart or target). So, if it does happen to bother you - and it would me, TBH - then I would say it's worth the small amount of money to invest in a few new things instead of throwing $50 towards debt. Of course, I don't know how much debt you are talking or how tight things are financially, just sharing what I would do.

Printing out photos/enlarging them and buying cheap frames is also an option for bare walls - if that appeals to you. I don't mind a lot of white walls, it makes me feel like my home is less cluttered, but we do have some decor that we've added slowly since we moved here 3 years ago. Other ways to brighten up a room can be inexpensive, too, as PP has mentioned.

Furniture - we've bought things over time, and now we do have a nice living room set (leather sectionals), and things like a LCD TV and a good looking dining room table. We've also taken advantage of craigslist, and bought DD's bedroom furniture for much cheaper than they cost originally (headboard, desk, shelving, and vanity/mirror).

It really just depends on your priorities and what is more important to you. I do think, though, that there are ways to accomplish both having decent household items and still continuing to pay down debt and add to savings. It just might take longer, and you might have to be creative and shop wisely.


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## mommaof3boz (Feb 15, 2006)

I don't subscribe to the mindset "anyone who has lots of nice things are up to their eyeballs in debt". That is no different than saying anyone who doesn't have those things must be poor. Some folks who have lots are in debt, some aren't. Some who live without things do so because it isn't a priority to them, some simply can't afford anything. It goes back to judging a book by its cover. unfortunately, IMHO, on MDC we are so geared to anticonsumerism we have almost went to the radical end of it. As in "oh anyone with two nice cars must have huge car payments". Just because folks choose to buy new towels and sheets and furniture (whatever) doesn't make them irresponsible nor does not buying things make folks "cheap". I'm not saying anyone said those exact things, but undertones YK?


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## happysmileylady (Feb 6, 2009)

I don't think it is wrong to prefer to spend the bulk of your money on what you consider priorities. However, I think at some point you do HAVE to spend SOME money to replace things that simply aren't working any more. Truely threadbare and holey sheets and towels and clothes etc, aren't really doing their job, or are just barely accomplishing it. I am a "use it till it dies" kinda person, but I recognize that at some point, you have to admit that "it died."

That doesn't mean though that you have to spend a lot of money to replace it (whatever it is) or that you are doomed to mismatched or unstylish or low quality stuff, just because you don't want to spend a lot of money on it. Sales, coupons, freecycle, CL, garage sales, flea markets etc etc, all great places to find cheap, even free stuff that is still good quality.


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## laohaire (Nov 2, 2005)

Sigh, this forum ate my post and I don't feel like retyping it right now  Will edit later if I do...


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## KempsMama (Dec 1, 2008)

We are pretty broke, and a lot of our stuff is hand me downs and wore out. That being said, I pick one thing a month to replace, and I let my family know what we need and they generally give us upgraded hand me downs or household items for Christmas.

I recently bought new dishes for $30.00 because I waited for a pattern I liked to get discontinued and go on sale. The same for our bed set-I replace this about once every two years, because we have pets and I wash frequently so they get worn out quickly. I just plan for something each month, usually around the $50 mark, and look to see what is on sale that we need. It can be hard looking at the sale papers, because we can't afford a lot of the things in them, but overall it's worth it because I find things we do need at great prices, so we're able to have something new.


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## Ruthiegirl (Jun 25, 2004)

Old sheets and towels are just fine. I mend my sheets, I have trimmed my frayed towels and restitched the edges. They are just fine. My chipped dishes are fine, my mismatched, old furniture is just fine.

Stuff is just stuff. Your home is what you make of it. And if you are happy and well in your home, then you have more than many in this world.

Edited to repair my lame grammar


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## lapoli (Dec 5, 2010)

I think, too, that you have to consider that you don't know what/how the finances are of the person you're comparing yourself to. It's easy for me to see something someone else has and think that I'd like it, too, but I'd feel differently knowing that the person put themselves into $XXX.XX of debt to do it.

It's hard to feel happy sometimes using something until it's "dead" when our society doesn't really work on those principles.


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## Greenmama2 (Jul 24, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Ruthiegirl*
> 
> Old sheets and towels are just fine. I mend my sheets, I have trimmed my frayed towels and restitched the edges. They are just fine. My chipped dishes are fine, my mismatched, old furniture is just fine.
> 
> ...


Go you








OP, I forgot to say that I personally feel good about using something until it's really done.


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## green_momma2007 (Jul 22, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *mommaof3boz*
> 
> Well paying off debt and saving are very important. *BUT there is also the thought of spending your whole life waiting to be happy. If you are happy with the ways things are then fine. If you aren't and are always looking down the road to someday then it is a problem. There has to be a happy medium. * My thought on our house-its our biggest investment at this point. (we have a house, several barns and 40 acres). If we don't take care of it and keep it well maintained I am, in the long run, losing our equity. So we are going to put in new windows very soon, insulation, etc. Thats a huge hunk of change. My walls are kept freshly painted and simply, tastefully decorated. HOWEVER, we shop the sales for food, watch the ads for jeans when the kids need them, buy furniture off craigslist, use christmas money for things like good coats and gloves. I don't want to be cold in this house for the rest of my life and have a great savings account. I'd rather have a comfortable home and an ok savings account. If we ever needed to, down the road, we could sell and downsize. But not if we've let things go downhill. As for towels-I'd get one nice set for company (primarily hand towels cause thats all they usually use) and use the frayed ones myself. Sheets-sorry but I like getting into my comfy cozy bed. I have one nice set of sheets per bed. Wash and remake weekly. Walls don't have to be expensively decorated. You can even get "mistint "
> paint in some great colors at Lowes for 7-12 dollars a gallon. I've made some gorgeous curtains out of sale rack sheets in the past. Garage sales and thrift stores are the place to get wall stuff. Do what feels right to you.


A big old yeah to the bolded. And you know, unless you are dirt poor, it's not expensive to get new sheets or towels. Just get white towels for everyone, that way you wont have to worry about matching. And you can always get cheap sheets at Ikea, if you have one nearby, or even just get gently used ones at Goodwill. Just because you're trying to pay off debt does not mean you have to live like you can barely pay the essentials.


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## Mulvah (Aug 12, 2008)

I think you got some great advice. I just want to say that I recently purchased a towel set (2 body towels, 2 hand towels, and 2 washcloths) for $3 at JC Penney. You can get good deals on some of the things you want or need.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *woodchick*
> 
> ...If you are really bothered by something (say, an unpainted wall) then I don't think it would be such a big deal to spend the money on that one thing. If it doesn't bother you, then it's no problem!












Quote:


> Originally Posted by *ChristyMarie*
> 
> I think this says it all, you are prioritizing getting debt paid off over new towels or paint. Different priorities are not wrong, just different.
> 
> ...












Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Ola_*
> 
> This is what I picked up from your post, and I think that making small, inexpensive changes around your home will make you feel more content with life. Not to say that you should aim to make your house like the others you see, with all matching furniture and all. But little things that you do will make it feel more homey.
> 
> ...


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## texmati (Oct 19, 2004)

eh. I make waay less of an effort after having two sets of brand new towels ruined by guests (one was discolored, I'm assuming from some face wash, and the other was *stolen!!!). As long as they still work, I don't care. I did buy a set of hand towels and new bathmats for our downstairs bathroom.... which I accidently sprayed bleach on two mos ago in a nesting frenzy.


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## happyhats (Jun 23, 2008)

Right now I'm seriously nesting so if I had unlimited funds and a willing partner I think my whole house would be brand new. But, honestly, that's just my hormones talking. I have always been a decorator/organizer type so I wouldn't be happy with some of things you're describing. That said, my house is totally not full of nice and/or perfect belongings. A lot of my furniture is on its third or fourth lives (was a small cupboard that my sister gave me, now it's a bookshelf, now it's a closet organizer, etc.) I have other pieces that I just cannot justify buying new right now because they still have their integrity but I would if I could. I have a toddler, enough said. So when the baby girl managed to scratch up the top of the nice end table, I threw a pretty piece of fabric over it that coordinated with our living room (one day I'll probably decoupage the top, but for now the fabric is great and it also hides the shoe basket by the door, so whoo hoo). My kitty scratched up the edges of our new leather furniture-still perfect shape other than that. Kitty also scratched my awesome retro kitchen chairs and THEN the toddler found a stray ink pen. My solution? That pretty duct tape that see on the market-has a similar texture to leather, can be wiped down, found a retro pattern that goes with my kitchen set, and it was cheap.

All of this to say, you don't have to spend a lot of money or run down to ikea/target/walmart to have a nice home. I'm a sahm, and I spend a lot of time in our house, so I would be very unhappy if it didn't feel homey to me. Think outside of the box, look at decorating and diy websites, and get inspired.

Also, don't feel ashamed of wanting something "frivolous" sometimes. Sure, the towels and the sheets, etc aren't "That Important" but if it would make you happy to buy some new ones, then do so. A lot of times us mamas get so wrapped up in being responsible we deprive ourselves entirely too much.


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## cyclamen (Jul 10, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *happyhats*
> 
> All of this to say, you don't have to spend a lot of money or run down to ikea/target/walmart to have a nice home. I'm a sahm, and I spend a lot of time in our house, so I would be very unhappy if it didn't feel homey to me. Think outside of the box, look at decorating and diy websites, and get inspired.
> 
> Also, don't feel ashamed of wanting something "frivolous" sometimes. Sure, the towels and the sheets, etc aren't "That Important" but if it would make you happy to buy some new ones, then do so. A lot of times us mamas get so wrapped up in being responsible we deprive ourselves entirely too much.


Yes to this. For years we lived with whatever we could scavenge because it seemed pointless to buy something when we'd probably be moving soon. If we didn't buy it, we could curb it guilt-free. But recently, my bf and I decided we wanted to spend a little money on making our home homier. Not a lot of money... but just a little. We decided that the home environment is important to us.


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## SleeplessMommy (Jul 16, 2005)

*


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## homemademom (Sep 25, 2009)

I don't have anything really to add to what's already been said, but as far as going out to shop, I don't. I buy everything online. You can get pretty inexpensive shipping with Walmart and then, as was mentioned, the white sales happen in Jan/Feb. I'd just look online. I've also gotten cheap bedding at overstock.com.


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## SilverFish (Jan 14, 2010)

i would find it really depressing to live in a completely undecorated house. it's not something that is wrong or bad, just a matter of preference. for me, a certain level of visual beauty and harmony is important to my sense of well being. so even though we are only renting, i still think it's worthwhile to spend $50 or so bucks on fresh paint whenever we move in someplace. and i like having art on the walls, pretty rugs and matching dinnerware. we don't go overboard... we generally buy second hand, or when we see a good sale, or will save up for a while to buy a really high quality item. for example, we bought a living room rug at ikea for $30. but since it's a $30 rug, it's not exactly gorgeous, nor will it wear that well, but it'll work for now, and meanwhile we are saving up for something really nice that we will use for decades. our sheets and towels are newish and semi-matching, but that's because we didn't have any household stuff at all (students and working overseas before) so we just bought stuff that worked together. but even if we'd had a pile of old sheets and towels at our disposal, i still would have eventually replaced them with nicer stuff. i try to balance my desire to have a beautiful living space with my frugal, non-wasting lifestyle. i think i add things to my house slowly and judiciously, but i do prioritize them at some point.

anyway, for your specific circumstance, i don't know if i would spend the same way if i had debt. we luckily don't, so spending $50 on paint or $20 on frames or fabric doesn't seem too extreme. a fresh coat of paint this month, and a set of new bedding next month, and maybe some framed art for the walls the month after... none of that has to cost more than $20-$50. and i think it's worthwhile for a more beautiful, home-like atmosphere.

i do understand what you mean about not understanding how people do it though. my husband makes really good money, we live in a small apartment and are strict budgeters. but i do add up in my head how much some friends must be spending on one or another aspect of their lives and wonder how it's possible. maybe they're not saving? maybe they aren't paying down debt? or maybe they don't prioritize some aspect of living that you do, like food or entertainment or whatever.


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## weliveintheforest (Sep 3, 2005)

We have holey sheets and towels too, and no couch. When it comes to household items, I have a very hard time bringing myself to buy things unless they are a 'need' or a good thrift store find. However, you have to enjoy your home. Would you enjoy it more if you painted your living room? Would you entertain more if you felt more proud of your house? Sometimes it is worth it to spend a bit of money to make your house work better for you... but there is a fine line. I know people who are just never happy and it seems like they are always buying more, redecorating again, replacing things that work fine... If you like it just fine the way it is, then that is what counts!


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## treeoflife3 (Nov 14, 2008)

I think that you are only as rich as you feel. People normally say this to explain that even when rich, you can still feel poor without love and friendship and all this cliche stuff, but I think it applies on the other side as well. You may have all the love and friendship in the world, but sometimes something nice to look at really helps brighten your day and keeps you feeling good when not everything in life is.

I see absolutely nothing wrong with having holey towels and sheets and no couch. If you are happy with this, then your lifestyle is only your own. Debt or not, you can still feel rich if you have the things that truly matters to you. If you really want to spend 50 dollars this year on paint because seeing a cheerful color or your favorite color on the walls will help you enjoy your days more, or if having a new set of soft sheets or towels to slip into or dry off with will put a smile on your face, then I see these as good things assuming they don't put you into more debt. If they are things that really matter to do, then even with the debt, you might just feel a bit better about not being able to get EVERYTHING you want if you can get a couple cheaper things.

Personally, I need things to look decent to feel good. I don't need the best or the fanciest but having my sheets a color I love and having my bathroom towels match the rugs gives me a sense of calm. The sheets were from walmart and the towels and rugs were bought on sale at linens and things, but I would probably replace them if they were really discolored or torn because of how it makes me feel. I don't need big fancy tvs or the newest phone and I don't care to replace my dining room table every two years (actually the one we have is a hand me down I don't like but probably won't replace for a very long time unless we build our own.) but the little things DO affect me. I bought new living room curtains and a new wool rug for the living room to make the space brighter. It actually did have a noticeable affect on my mood because it made the room lighter so I didn't feel like I was in a cave all day with the kiddo.

I do believe that even people who only have a small amount of money to either save or waste have the right to buy things that might not be a classic necessity. Just as it is silly for people with loads of money to burn to try and buy as much as they can as if that will make them happier or better people, Its also unfair to ignore that sometimes the new pretty towel can be what someone with little money to spend could really use right now.

Your home is your home and your money is your money. You get to determine how you want to live... that includes how your things look and how you choose to pay off your debts and save. You have to be happy or what is the point?


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## laohaire (Nov 2, 2005)

OK, I've thought about this pretty hard for a few days.

I don't think I "need" new towels. Holes or not, they still dry our bodies just fine. I don't "need" to shop for new towels knowing they'll fall apart very soon, either, because I doubt they will. I'm sure we'd get another 5 years out of them at least.

All the same, I have decided that 27 years is too long to wait to have a few nice things in the house. I could wait a year or 3 years or maybe 5 years but 27 years is just out of the question. What is money FOR? I am very non-materialistic, but all the same, having some comfort and pride in my home is something.

So I decided I am going to prioritize and spend a little every month (or maybe save up a little every month for bigger things like a loveseat). Not a fixed budgeted amount, just whatever I think maybe I can spare each month without being extremely irresponsible. I can't bring myself to assign a dollar amount, not even $25, because that might literally be 100% of our savings for that month. But I think I can make a judgement call.

I've already decided the first things I want to do, but won't drive myself crazy by deciding what I'm going to do 6 months down the road - I might change my mind. In January I'm getting 2 new towel bars and a matching toilet paper holder. In February I'm getting a new light fixture for the bathroom. And in March I will buy paint and put it all together - a coat of paint in the bathroom, plus the new fixtures. I will still have the ugliest bathtub I've ever seen but the rest of the bathroom will be ok, and the bathtub really WILL have to wait.

After that, who knows. A curtain rod for the living room window? Dining room paint? I don't know, but little by little I'll do some things. I figure over the span of 3 years I'll have covered some of the very basics - painted rooms, a curtain. Oh, and I decided I'll buy 4 nice towels and keep them as guest towels. They'll only come out when guests are here (so we don't wear and tear them to death already) and then I can feel nice that we can hang some towels that aren't holey and horribly mismatched. Bedding? Yeah, someday.

So, anyway, that's it. I think I was afraid to open the floodgates. I can ignore this stuff for a long time, but when I start actually allowing myself to want something, it can really add up. Like, I can't just paint the bathroom, I hate the fixtures so bad that it would be a waste to paint with the fixtures still there (and then have to redo it later). I'd rather just have an ugly bathroom than waste the time and money. But I'll go ahead and deal with the fixtures, then. Etc.


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## CherryBomb (Feb 13, 2005)

I don't think you're crazy. Our towels are 6 years old and getting frayed, I might buy new ones when we get our tax return. Or I might not. It's not a big deal to us. I think it just depends on the person. If you're comfortable, i don't see a problem with this stuff. We painted last year because the white walls were driving me crazy. I just feel like it looks nicer with the walls painted colors. I don't think it's a necessity, though.


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## CherryBomb (Feb 13, 2005)

Oops, didn't read the second page.

This is basically what I ended up doing last year. We lived on the bare minimum for 5 years after buying this house. I finally started getting tired of it last year. So we repainted, I put a tiled backsplash in the kitchen, and put up a curtain rod and valance in the living room (was just cheap blinds). Just those things made the house look so much better, and I love it.

I know what you mean about "opening the floodgates." Once I got started I saw so much that I wanted to do! I guess that's the upside of being poor and having no credit, I had to suck it up and do what I could afford, lol.


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## matey (Sep 15, 2006)

OP, I think it sounds like a good plan. Also, keep an eye on craiglist and freecycle. You may be able to score cheap paint, I have seen free to inexpensive sheet sets on there before. Some of your wants may cost you nothing.


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## ChristyMarie (May 31, 2006)

Sounds like you have really given this some thought and have a great plan in place. Have fun planning and making changes. I'm always amazed at what a difference the smallest changes make.


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## laohaire (Nov 2, 2005)

Yeah, it's awful now, the floodgates are open 

Happened to DH too. Now we're talking about all sorts of things. We hate our dining room table, for example. We bought it new for $1000 from a furniture showroom and it's not well made and it doesn't fit our family. It was a bad choice we made (the only furniture we ever bought) - I even knew it wasn't exactly what I wanted but we felt completely under the gun. We had just had DD and I really felt walloped from her hospital stay and the sleep deprivation and the fact I had to go back to work after 3 weeks and the fact that my hands were injured. I put my foot down on driving 4+ hours for Thanksgiving to the in-laws that year, said we were just going to stay home. Minor uproar ensues and finally they announce (not ask, announce) that they are all coming to our house on the Saturday after Thanksgiving. I'm sure they meant well, but we did not have a table (nothing, nada) and suddenly we had to seat 6 guests plus us. If this happened today, I would have done it very differently, but we learned about this with only 1 weekend before TG to spare, plus we worked. So the Saturday before we went to a furniture store and I was sure I'd be able to find the table I wanted (it wasn't anything weird - "natural" wood and preferably Mission style or something similar, not huge and thick but just streamlined) but they had nothing that was even close. I settled on this oak finish table, I don't know what you call it but it's extra tall. The chairs are chairs (with backs) but I guess they are called "stools" because you have to climb up on them.

I liked the fact that the table was a nice big square with the leaf in (as opposed to rectangle - it's unusual and it does look rather cool actually). But the oak finish is CHEAP, the chairs aren't that well made (how often are you supposed to have to tighten screws?) and as a result of constantly having to tighten screws, one of the wood slats just plain broke when my DD was trying to climb down and the screw was loose again.

Other kids who visit - and this has happened more than once - keep falling off our high chairs and crying. It's just awful. Thankfully DD does not but the table isn't COMFY, it doesn't invite you to sit down and play a game or read or draw. You have to climb UP and it's a pain, so we actually don't even use it that much. Now that we are going to have a wood stove (and maybe downstairs won't be freezing all the time to boot) we are just swooning over the idea of having the table we always wanted.

I am really long-winded but that's just one example, the floodgates have opened. Did I ever think I was not very materialistic? Hoo boy, was I wrong. I want, I want, I want I WANT I WANT!!! And I still feel guilty because I want things that I just don't need. We HAVE a table, there is no need to get a new one. I WANT a new one (a used one is fine, but new as in not the one I have now), but there are people out there who have no table, no house, no bed, no FOOD. And I'm plotting to blow my money on meaningless stuff like this. Ay caramba!


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## woodchick (Jan 5, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *laohaire*
> 
> I am really long-winded but that's just one example, the floodgates have opened. Did I ever think I was not very materialistic? Hoo boy, was I wrong. I want, I want, I want I WANT I WANT!!! And I still feel guilty because I want things that I just don't need. We HAVE a table, there is no need to get a new one. I WANT a new one (a used one is fine, but new as in not the one I have now), but there are people out there who have no table, no house, no bed, no FOOD. And I'm plotting to blow my money on meaningless stuff like this. Ay caramba!


I have found that I go through periods of nesting, even when I'm not pregnant! You may find that making one or two changes will satisfy you for a while. That's how it usually works around here.


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## plantnerd (Aug 20, 2010)

At home depot ask at their paint counter about rejected paints. It is usually paint people have had mixed and then freak out and change their minds, or paint colors that don't come out true to sample. I have picked up several gallons of paint for about 5 bucks a gallon, compared to 30 dollars for regular. If you need more than a gallon you can buy a couple of complimentary colors (2 greens or a white and a tan) and mix them to have enough for a larger room. Whatever you do don't cheap on the brushes and rollers though- you can get many uses out of good stuff, and it makes such a difference in the finished product.


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## coyotemist (Aug 23, 2007)

Hugs, OP. For years things were so tight for us we made do. A year ago I graduated from school, we got an excellent tax return, and I've been working on/off consistently every since. It has also opened the floodgates for us. I never let it hurt that we couldn't get this or that, but now that I CAN get a few new things I want it all now!

We have debt, quite a lot actually, between student loans and my appendicitis scare last month ($8000 later, I have no health insurance, and I did have several things going on, just not appendicitis Thank God).

However, a lot can be had at Habitat Re-Store, Craigslist, Thrift Stores, etc etc etc. We got a dining room table that isn't my "forever" table, but works just fine (we sat 8 around it sort of tightly the other day) for $30 on Craigslist , I've found new bedding for the kids on clearance at Fred Meyers ($120 comforter reduced down to $25 during a 75% off sale). Then I found a couple duvet covers in Ikea's dent area for $5 each, so those new comforters will last even longer now that they don't have to be washed all the time!

I think it's great you have a plan, but be prepared to change the plan if an amazing deal pops up in front of you. Sometimes things are too good to pass up, and you can feel good that you are slowly making progress in improving the comfort in your home.


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## crunchy_mama (Oct 11, 2004)

I was just visiting a friend's house this week. She has an eye for decorating and her husband makes good money. I couldn't help but feel a little jealous and I feel so guilty for it. Just recently we have done some spruce ups around the house as I wanted it to feel more homey but I could never compare to her house. All the while dh and I have been talking about how we need to buckle down with spending so we can do more saving. Nothing really that we truly need, there are so few things that are- I try not to be materialistic either but there are certainly things I would like to have. I have found good deals on household items at yardsales though, I have to shop them anyway for the kid's clothes so I try to keep an eye on things. I got a set of King size sheets last summer for $1, in good shape, no holes or stains, nice and soft. Anyway, that rambling means nothing at all but I can sympathize with the pull of it all.


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## mnnice (Apr 15, 2003)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *crunchy_mama*
> 
> I was just visiting a friend's house this week. She has an eye for decorating and her husband makes good money. I couldn't help but feel a little jealous and I feel so guilty for it. Just recently we have done some spruce ups around the house as I wanted it to feel more homey but I could never compare to her house. All the while dh and I have been talking about how we need to buckle down with spending so we can do more saving. Nothing really that we truly need, there are so few things that are- I try not to be materialistic either but there are certainly things I would like to have. I have found good deals on household items at yardsales though, I have to shop them anyway for the kid's clothes so I try to keep an eye on things. I got a set of King size sheets last summer for $1, in good shape, no holes or stains, nice and soft. Anyway, that rambling means nothing at all but I can sympathize with the pull of it all.


I do totally think there is something to the having an eye for decorating. I don't have it







, but instead subsitute by being a minimalist (less clutter) and only aquiring (which also means not keeping other's castoffs or gifts that don't suit me) things I like even if that means I don't have much stuff.

OP, I do think if you hunt and gradually aquire items you truly like that slowly you will have nicer stuff. When I was 27 I was single, childless renter with two roommates, about 4 towels, a castoff sofa,a lumpy futon and a 12 inch tv. Slowly I have gotten nicer stuff, but think finding furniture that suits you can be pretty time consuming even if you are not super price sensitive. When I finially got a "real" couch DH had long since stopped looking with me because I he didn't want to shop anymore without buying something







. I still have it ten years latter. I still like it and I think I did a good job of picking a durable kid friendly material even though I was childless at the time. Nobody is going to confuse my house with something out of glossy decorating magazine, but it works for me.


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## 4evermom (Feb 3, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *matey*
> 
> OP, I think it sounds like a good plan. Also, keep an eye on craiglist and freecycle. *You may be able to score cheap paint*, I have seen free to inexpensive sheet sets on there before. Some of your wants may cost you nothing.


Paint stores usually have a mismixed section of paint for cheap. I've gone and bought three different shades of a color, poured them all in a large bucket to homogenize the color, then redistributed them into the cans and used them to paint a large room.


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## hillymum (May 15, 2003)

We have missmatched, stained, threadbare ripped towels but the work and I am not over protective about them. I have three boys and 4 anomals. they can be used for messy stuff and thats fine.

Sheets are all a couple of years old, bought on sale (clearance). No one sees them so as long as they are comfortable they are good.

My home is not just my castle, it's my haven. i want to be relaxed, happy and comfortable. i want my children to feel the same. It's mostly painted and what is on the wall is pretty but inexpensive. I love Tuesday Morning for really lovely decorations at a great price, as well as TJMaxx etc. My only proffessionally framed painting was a yard sale find. All the other pictures on the walls are photo's I've taken and put in matching walmart frames.

My two favorite furniture items are craigslist finds.

I'm fine with this!


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## rachieface (Mar 26, 2010)

One possible option is to sell your current table on Craigslist. It sounds like a nice table that just doesn't suit your lifestyle. Then, turn that money around and find a Craigslist table that works better for you! If we need a change, we will often sell some nice-but-not-working-for-us-anymore furniture on Craigslist and spend that money on something we will love.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *laohaire*
> 
> Yeah, it's awful now, the floodgates are open
> 
> ...


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## laohaire (Nov 2, 2005)

Yeah, I am thinking of selling it but a little scared to. It should be a nice table but it's not. One of the struts on one chair is broken. We "refurbished" the seats with faux silk material in Asian designs and they looked so nice when we did it but now they are dingy and stringy and some are kind of stained (5 year old). Yeah, I did not want a chair with a cushion either for this very reason - a solid wood seat you can just wipe off. On top of that, I also destroyed the finish on the tabletop itself. I had a cloth laying over it (decorative) and a lady gave us a potted bamboo plant as a thank you for work my DH did for her. I put it on the cloth. Bamboo needs to be watered frequently and I did. There was a built-in whadayacallit under the pot, to catch the extra water. But it turned out it only LOOKED like one... it was just decorative.. there was a hole in the bottom fo the pot. And every time I watered it, it would be soaked up by the cloth (my eyes are poor and the cloth had a pattern, I never noticed the water). A few weeks later I did a full wipe-off of the table and found an awful circular "burn" mark where the water destroyed the finish and rotted some of the wood away underneath. AWFUL. We've just destroyed this stupid table. I was thinking of asking $100 for it but I'm afraid of selling it and having someone be mad at me. Yes, I describe things well but I've eBayed enough to know that you can say there is a problem and they'll buy it and then be angry about the described issue. Blah. I think it might be worth it for me to just freecycle it (like I do everything else) - nobody can complain about a free table, can they?


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## Lisa1970 (Jan 18, 2009)

I think you are doing the right thing. I never get people who claim to be broke or struggling and are in debt, who keep buying new unneeded things for their home and otherwise. I know someone who is always so broke that she gets relatives to help pay for stuff, yet, she always has a new SUV (never more than 3 yrs old, usually one never stays with her for even 2 yrs) and her children only wear clothes from expensive stores and have had cell phones since early elementary. That is not broke, that is stupid. Ok, maybe it is BROKE in the term that she is clueless and doing the wrong thing, as in broken.

You will be better off. Plus, you are not contributing to the landfills like others who just keep tossing fine things and replacing them. I think you are doing great!!!


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## 4evermom (Feb 3, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *laohaire*
> 
> Yeah, I am thinking of selling it but a little scared to. We've just destroyed this stupid table. I was thinking of asking $100 for it but I'm afraid of selling it and having someone be mad at me. Yes, I describe things well but I've eBayed enough to know that you can say there is a problem and they'll buy it and then be angry about the described issue. Blah. I think it might be worth it for me to just freecycle it (like I do everything else) - nobody can complain about a free table, can they?


At least with Craigslist, buyers pick up and see it in person. When people come, I point out all the spots that I described. Many people are happy to buy something cheap and fix them up so I wouldn't worry about the chair seats. That's generally an easy project. I'd want to redo them in a fabric that matched my place, anyway. And many people use tablecloths or a centerpiece and would be able to live with the damaged table top. Try listing the set and see if anyone is interested. I've had people email and ask if I'd consider a lower price. I don't like to say OBO, though, because that is just an invitation to ask for a lower price.


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## accountclosed3 (Jun 13, 2006)

so, i guess the question is begged: do you want to decorate?

i think that, at some level, you do. so now the question is "how, without overspending."

my situation is somewhat similar. i live in an apartment. it's solid and i keep it clean. our walls are cream and trim is white. we have a fireplace (non-working) in both rooms. Original wood plus tiles plus the black background/grate which is metal. really lovely, honestly. the lounge has a built in bench in the bay window and a built in bookcase. both are painted white. i added baskets to hold our books, office stuff, etc etc, and the bottom shelves hold DS's toys and instruments. we have a nice bed and dresser. but, we keep things minimal.

we do not really have any other furnishings, and i do not want to purchase any. but, i want the home to have a 'design aesthetic' to it. we are making choices, here, after all.

so, here is what i do: design inspiration.

there are lots of ways to have "low cost" but "high fashion" looks. Scandinavian modern designs are clean, simple, and usually white. LOL you can do scandinavian in a lot of ways, but there's always a blend of old and new , with a strong dose of recycled, plus a lot of natural. in the first blog i linked ("clean") look for the house that uses shipping pallets as furnishings. looks amazing, and it's something i'm planning on doing myself. But, if you like something a bit more opulent, you really might like shabby chic or funky junk. these folks literally source out *junk*--what others are throwing away--and then find unique and fun ways to reuse them.

also, we only have one set of bedding, one set of towels. i just take good care of them, wash them weekly, etc. when they are thread bare (or getting close), i watch for a seasonal sale and swoop in to buy things that i need. sometimes, i go to thrift stores or garage sales. but, i can usually find what i need for a great bargain price, and i use the heck out of it.


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## blizzard_babe (Feb 14, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *zoebird*
> 
> i think that, at some level, you do. so now the question is "how, without overspending."


NAK...

A friend who is a spectacular bargain-finder and dumpster-diver (seriously, I've never known a person to dumpster dive such amazing stuff. No clue how she does it) has a system: She draws a picture of what she wants a room to look like. Just basics, like a blueprint... the color of the walls (so she can shop the oopsie shelf at the paint store), a type of beadspread or duvet cover, a style of frame for photos she's taken herself for the walls, etc. She does this for each room, and then compiles a list of what she's looking for and keeps it in her purse. As she finds things (free or uber-cheap), she acquires them. These are people who are basically living on no consistent income, so it takes a while, but she has what I'd call a frugally comfy home. Spacious-looking because there's no clutter, but what they do have matches their tastes. It took years to acquire things this way, but knowing she was moving towards a home that made her happy prevented her from spending unnecessary money.


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## _ktg_ (Jul 11, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *blizzard_babe*
> 
> NAK...
> 
> A friend who is a spectacular bargain-finder and dumpster-diver (seriously, I've never known a person to dumpster dive such amazing stuff. No clue how she does it) has a system: She draws a picture of what she wants a room to look like. Just basics, like a blueprint... the color of the walls (so she can shop the oopsie shelf at the paint store), a type of beadspread or duvet cover, a style of frame for photos she's taken herself for the walls, etc. She does this for each room, and then compiles a list of what she's looking for and keeps it in her purse. As she finds things (free or uber-cheap), she acquires them. These are people who are basically living on no consistent income, so it takes a while, but she has what I'd call a frugally comfy home. Spacious-looking because there's no clutter, but what they do have matches their tastes. It took years to acquire things this way, but knowing she was moving towards a home that made her happy prevented her from spending unnecessary money.


This is a brilliant plan - I find myself always looking at something free or a steal of a deal, and purchasing or taking the item, but when I get home, I'll ask myself "why and oh where will I put this?". It makes the thrill of getting the item diminish greatly because I'm either going to freecycle the item or donate it as I slowly realize the item doesn't fit with my idea of my house!


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## delphine (Aug 12, 2003)

OP,

Ack, I know exactly how you feel about with the $1,000 table. For a while, it seemed like every time we would purchase a big money item, I would be sorely disappointed in it (the carpet we bought that looked AWFUL in 3 months, the beautiful bookcase that got a large nick in it etc). For a long time, I refused to buy anything for my house because I was so afraid I would feel like it was a waste or our hardearned money once we got it.

I think you should post the table on Craigslist. Go check out what is available in your area and what prices are being asked. I think, if you only post the table for $100, you will have people knocking down your door who will be thrilled to have it, damaged or not. Be as honest as you can with your listing and post pictures of the damage if possible. Don't worry about buying being disappointed. They will have a chance to look at it before they purchase it. I have found that selling on Craigslist can be a bit of a pain, but it's always been worth it for us.

As for the other things in the house...here is what we do. DH and I have a "wish list". This is an actual list on paper that we occassionally re-write. We add everything to the list, whether big or small. So, it might have new sheets on it but also has things like hardwood for the entire house, new door knobs, new lighting, towell rack, etc. Then we prioritize it. Some of the things we will probably never be able to do and we do without some of the smaller things to be able to afford larger things. But, it's been a real asset to have everything in front of us. We also enjoy daydreaming so we talk a lot about things like, "wouldn't it be nice to add a sunroom to the back of the house etc". We may one day do that, but it's certainly not in the big picture right now.

Slowly, we are checking things off the list. We have lived here 5 years and I am just now getting to some of the projects that have been on our list since we moved in. My house is never going to be a showpiece, but it's getting to where I want it to be.

Lastly, things like this can be such a pain...try to have some fun with it. Look through catalogues, look online, cut out pictures of how you would like for your house to look etc. Don't worry about what others have or don't have (and I know that's hard) and just do what you can to enjoy your home.


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## cschick (Aug 28, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *laohaire*
> 
> Are we choosing the wrong priorities? Is it just so inexpensive to have proper bedding and towels that we are doing ourselves a disservice by doing this?


*shrug* I don't think it has to be that expensive to have new bedding and towels.

We have a closet-full of hand-me-down towels and sheets. But when we bought this house, we also bought a towel set (4 towels, 4 hand towels, 4 washcloths) for the master bedroom from Sam's Club, and I believe that was under $50 for it all. We've been using them for 6 years now, and they are still in perfect shape and I expect them to continue to be so for many years.

When we bought our king bed, I picked up a bunch of king-sized bedding from the extreme clearance rack at Bed, Bath & Beyond, spending maybe $100 altogether. That was 3 sets of sheets, 1 down comforter (it was the middle of summer and they were desperately trying to get rid of overstock from the prior winter) and 2 duvet covers. That was 4 years ago, and I expect to continue to use all that for at least the next decade or so.

I think if you decide that you'd like new bedding or towels, decide on a price range, and you are willing to wait until you find something you want in the price range you're willing to spend, you can get them quite cheaply. You also need to know where to look . . . for example, Target sticks clearance bedding and towels on the back end caps at the back of the store (so the end caps facing the back wall) and I've seen both bedding and towels go up to 75% off, even 90% off at times. I always take a wander down the back of the store to see what they've stuck on the end caps, and how desperate they appear to get rid of it.


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## texmati (Oct 19, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *delphine*
> 
> OP,
> 
> ...


I've had the same issue with regretting large furniture purchases, and the only way I"ve found to remedy it is to "buy used, sell used'. already used furniture doesnt 'depreciate' that much, so you can change your mind without taking a huge hit. DH refuses to buy upholstered items on CL (so we only have one of those), but everything else we bought second hand, and we've sold a bunch.

And sort of ot, but is the stain on the leaf? If so, I'm sure that there is some person with an apartment that wants a small, bar height table with only 4 chairs instead of 8. If the entire table is messed up, you could try selling the barstool chairs on their own. I know how you feel about buying in a pinch. premarriage, dh bought a glass table on a deadline, and it's been such a pain ever since. We recently sold it for about half of what he paid, and I'm so glad it's gone!!! Now we are in the market for a used table.


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## laohaire (Nov 2, 2005)

What do you guys think a good color theme for bedding/towels are?

Oh, I know it's personal but I'm asking actually as a practical question.

White - no, because it will just get stained and I don't use bleach. White seems to be a bad choice.

Red - no, just because the color runs.

Maybe a mix of "natural/neutral"? Like a soft green, a beige, and maybe navy or chocolate?

So I'm just trying to figure out what colors would probably last the longest and put up with the most abuse, that would be easy enough to pair with other items from other collections.

Hmm, I forgot - I already have a color theme going on in the bathroom because of the floor we put down. I plan to paint the walls terra cotta with some sort of green trim (sorry, my color vocabulary is poor... I'm thinking of a dry and soft green color, maybe moss is the word I'm looking for?).

Also, on another note I've decided I want to make a wish list for a wardrobe. My clothes are so awful I can't even describe. I have three pair of pants - one hand-me-down jeans from my husband, a pair of slacks that I got in 2000 (and were cheap, so they don't look too good ten years later), and a pair of jeans that I got only a year ago but I have to hitch up because I lost a size. Thats. It. For pants. Shirts - I have more of those, but they are all crappy polyester things with no style whatsoever. Every time I want to wear something half nice (like someone is coming over) I am just stumped. I definitely don't have anything really nice, but I don't need anything really nice - but if I want to look half decent in cold weather, I'm out of luck. (I do have a couple of summer skirts and blouses though, but since there's literally only a couple, I tend to wear the same outfits over and over when visiting with people).

So now that the floodgates are open, I want a small wardrobe too. I might have decent luck scoring this wardrobe - I'm sort of thinking about giving my mom a wish list. My mom loves to shop for clothes. My only hesitation is that she might go way too far and go nuts shopping for stuff I won't likely wear (not because I am picky about style, but for example she might pick something that just isn't practical for me, like a sweater that is way too thin to keep me warm or a shirt that is too short and will show my mommy-belly if I lift my arms at all, that sort of thing).

The style I think I would like would be a sort of hippie classic, maybe. Not long flowing skirts and Indian patterns but more like a classic gray wool skirt, brown boots, and a quality navy button-up cable sweater. Under that, I dunno, a quality turtleneck maybe. I think that would be easy to mix and match, and I could just let my mom go to town with a few guidelines. But there are things I'm not sure about.

For example, in winter, I don't wear skirts. We keep our house very cold, and it's just plain uncomfortable to go in a skirt, even if I have long underwear underneath (I wear long underwear under my jeans on my bottom half, top half is a tshirt, long underwear shirt, shirt and sweater). I'm still often cold in this ensemble, and it's not unusual to see me wearing a jacket over that. So as much as I love the look of a nice skirt, I think it would be money wasted.

The alternative of course is slacks, but I don't know what material or type. I refuse to buy something I have to dry-clean - heck, I can't even really afford the clothes themselves, I can't spend money maintaining them. I can and do hang to dry but whatever I get is going to have to be able to go through the washing machine.

Courderoys maybe? Those could look nice, if well fitted. And warm.

I think I like the look of natural materials (cotton, wool) but I wear polyester because it can go in the wash (well, the real reason is because polyester is all anyone buys for me - I don't buy clothes for myself!). So maybe this just isn't realistic and a waste of money.


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## zebra15 (Oct 2, 2009)

I think you need to go shopping, try things on, look around at housewares and just see whats out there. Find things you like and go from there. Building a wardrobe takes time and patience, buying furniture and linens takes time too. FYI shopping doesnt mean buying!


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## beanma (Jan 6, 2002)

I just found this thread, and I agree that you can find bargain towels and linens w/in your budget and I think that's money well spent. If you think about the amount that new towels and sheets will cost you monthly for the life of the items, as PPs pointed out, you can see that the expense really doesn't have to be great. Target even carries organic cotton linens and towels now! Since you say that your vision is poor, I think you should definitely spring for some cozy linens and towels that feel really good.

As for clothes, can you go to the thrift store? That's where I find tons of bargains on really nice stuff. I got some Royal Robbins pants recently that looked like they had hardly ever been worn. I also scored two nice fuzzy sweaters. My friend got a couple of Columbia tops. All this is for less than $4 a piece, so I feel fine trying out something that I wouldn't be brave enough to spend full retail price on. They also have bag days once a season or so where everything you can fit in a brown paper bag goes for $1 a bag. Can't beat that with a stick!!


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## Callimom (Sep 14, 2004)

I think for colours I would start with a nice neutral - cream or beige if you don't want white (although I have white sheets and towels and I'm not super particular about caring for them, but they aren't stained even after years. I use home made laundry soap and vinegar to "bleach" the stains out of whites. I also pick up pillow cases at the thrift store - I find they get worm/stained more quickly but if you have neutral sheets you can pair them with a patterned pillow case and it all looks nice.

If you are going to buy new towels I would buy a set plus one or two extra hand towels so you can keep some aside for guests. Or you can always buy one colour (a deep beige for example) and it will go nicely with a dark green, blue, chocolate brown, cream or white, or red hand towel so you can buy those at deep discounts as you see them.

As for clothes I'd pick a colour scheme of classics and one accent colour and start to build some basics.

There are lots of lists out there to help you but you need to suit it to your lifestyle and wardrobe. If you can set up a list of what you want you can start looking in thrift stores to put it together.

For me that list would be one long straight grey skirt, one pair of good black pants, two pair of jeans, one white and one black shirt - probably a tee/lightweight knit, one turtleneck (likely black), two simple knit cardigans - probably red and black or grey, a casual vest and a great sweater. These things are simple to find at a thrift store and if you choose simple lines you can go for a cheaper fabric and still have it look okay (until you want or are able to upgrade). On that wardrobe I could do pretty much anything except a very business-formal job interview or a very formal evening event.

I don't dry clean anything. I've had no trouble finding nice looking washable black "dress pants" at the thrift store.

I also wanted to plug long skirts with wool tights and long johns/leg warmers under them. I actually find them as warm as my jeans - especially if I keep my feet warm.

I'm always cold and we keep our house cool as well so I do a lot of layers. I often have on a tank under my turtleneck, with the cardigan and then the vest and a cowl or scarf. I find the key to me being warm is having my feet and neck warm and having layers.

Good luck.

Karen


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## PeacefulSeams (Apr 10, 2006)

I don't have a couch either lol. We just sit on the floor with pillows and blankets or use a dining room chair. My towels are mismatched and hand me downs from my mom. Sheets....what sheets??? I don't see the point. They always come off the bed when we are sleeping so I just stopped using them. As for the blankets, when I have 2 that get a hole in them somewhere that's really big, I just sew 2 blankets together...makes for a warm, cozy sleep.

All of those things aren't important to me. Sure I like to have nice things but I just can't justify spending money when I could put more towards bills or getting out of debt. I do aquire things but they are secondhand. We have a "free" store here. So I go there to find things I absolutely need.


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## matte (Dec 26, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *laohaire*
> 
> What do you guys think a good color theme for bedding/towels are?
> 
> ...


We have some dark brown towels bought on sale at Target in 2009 and a set of dark brown sheets (kind of bittersweet chocolate color) bought on sale on Lands End Outlet ($26 for a complete queen set, no joke). This is some of the best money I've spent. No stains ever show up on them, and after HEAVY and not careful use they look brand new. I'm now a huge fan of dark brown for bedding and sheets. Seriously, they look great and seem kinda sophisticated. The sheets go with any color of blankets etc.


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## homemademom (Sep 25, 2009)

I agree with dark beige or chocolate brown towels. They would hide any stains really well. I bought white towels (pretty cheap from Target) thinking that I could line dry them and/or oxiclean them to sparkling white whenever need be







Well, that doesn't actually work as well in practice as in theory. They get a little whiter, yes, but some of the stains are just there for life. So, yeah. Go with dark.


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## PenelopeJune (Jan 22, 2008)

I feel like it's very important to have a comfortable, attractive home.

That said, I spend very, very little money to make it that way. Most of our furniture was purchased at flea markets, garage sales, or handed down by family. Then anything that I could, I painted to make it look new and young again. It's amazing what a disgusting 1980s coffee table can look like when painted a bright shiny color. Our new piece of furniture is our couch, but it's only new because our old one was mold-damaged and someone else paid to replace it. My entire house has a bright vintage "theme" to it, which works for me because I like the look and because it's cheap.

Spray paint works wonders. We don't have a matching set of kitchen chairs, which disapoints me. We have two amazing awesome retro mid-century chairs, but the other two are crappy basic metal folding chairs. We spray painted them a bright color and they look fun and funky, and like we meant for them to be there.

Some fun cheap things to hang on the walls/shelves to brighten things up:

- vintage tea towels or handkerchiefs put in frames. (Frames can be found at garage sales for practically nothing, then spray painted to make them match.)

- Bright cheerful fabrics, stretched across embroidery hoops.

- Plants. Ask friends for cuttings of their plants to keep your costs extra low.

- Plates. You can find really cute cheap plates at yard sales and hang them on the walls in a unique pattern.

- DIY stuff. There are some AMAZING ideas out there for stuff that you can make or alter, that costs almost nothing, even if you aren't very artistic.

- Re-cover ugly pillows with fabric. Vintage sheets or curtains, or fabric can be found at thrift stores for very little money.

You can paint the walls for very little money, or keep them white and add splotches of color other ways. Check out Apartment Therapy or Design Sponge for cool ideas. There are a TON of really cool white rooms.

Shop garage sales or thrift stores for sheets. I bought a vintage set for my daughter's bed, sheet, fitted sheet, and pillow case, for $1. Check out Goodwill. You have to dig, but you'll find cool stuff there.

Towels, meh. Mine are mostly really crappy and frayed, too. I have never purchased new towels for myself. Mine are a mixture of hand me downs from family, and "newer" towels that were given us as gifts. We just got two matching sets for Christmas, so that's very nice. Prior to that, I'd say our newest towel was 5 or 6 years old. If I were you, I'd buy a nice set (nice being relative...a few bucks at Walmart at least) for putting out when company is over, and that's all I'd worry about.


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## SuzyLee (Jan 18, 2008)

If I were you, I would do the following.

Make a big list of priorities (bathroom fixtures, your clothing, living room, etc) in order of importance. Under each category, make a list of what you would ideally like to find, for example:

Dining Room

-Ideal: solid wood mission style table w/ matching chairs

-Good enough: wood table or glass table, regular height, prefer square w/leaves, solid wood chairs that don't have cushions. or whatever

-Greenish paint

-3 pictures for the walls- maybe landscapes. Or maybe a big mirror. Or maybe a hand embroidered table runner from a thrift store that I could mount on the wall with 3M command strips. Or whatever.

-A new light fixture that is silver or that I could spray paint silver.

1. Sign up for any freecycles in your area (or areas you regularly visit- like if you visit parents/inlaws every month or so, scope those out in the week leading up to your visit).

2. Check the CL free section every day.

3. Make a weekly trip to the thrift store (try a few different ones and go more often if you can stand it).

Then whenever you see something that matches your list, decide if you have enough money to devote to it (whether it is your first priority room, or if it is so 100% completely perfect that you want to go ahead and get it for your lowest priority room). I personally have given away on freecycle lots of furniture in good shape that is just NMS (most of it I had gotten free when I was poor). Someone out there was so freaking excited about the olive green 70's couch that I thought was heinous! So don't assume you have to spend anything (or at least not much) to get something that fits your taste. You just have to put the time in to find the deals.


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## ghostlykisses (Sep 27, 2007)

I could have written your post myself. I always wonder the same thing. Are we doing something wrong? Why do our friends who have no more or less money have nice furniture, matching towels, and their kids are always dressed in new clothing but we have hand me down household items and thrift shop clothing.

I have decided that the reason is priorities. We choose to spend the little extra money we do have in different ways. We also choose to try not to have too much debt so we do not charge things. We basically have one time a year when we spend on home improvements or ourselves and that is tax time. Last year I bought some curtains, sheets, and a comforter set.

Anyway you are in good company. When you get down you can think of those of us who are in the same boat and not feel so lonely. I will be here sitting on my ravaged looking used couch, with my tea sitting on the used coffee table, gazing out the window that currently has a quilt for a curtain because I don't have a curtain rod. I might be in the den where the love seat the dogs tore the stuffing out of the back of is washing my hand me down thread bare towels in my new washing machines (a gift). It's all good!


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## Katie T (Nov 8, 2008)

Our towels are from my high school graduation and our wedding. Our bedding sheets and new this yr comforter have been gifts. I ask for things like that for Christmas and my Birthday because really there is nothing I "need" but would like to have a bedspread that I can not fit my arm through the whole in lol.

I don't think there is anything wrong with that. We do have matching furniture but they are now 10yrs old. I paid cash for each piece as I could and was living debt free at the time (apartment life). Anyways some of my favorite towels are covered in 2" wholes. They work great for hair lol. I think to each their own. Is new stuff needed. Def. not!


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## laohaire (Nov 2, 2005)

OP back. I haven't done anything.

The thing we want the most is a loveseat (full couch is nice but loveseat cheaper and takes up less room). Honestly, this is one thing I don't want used... maybe I'm a snob. Used dining room table, no problem whatsoever. But fabric tends to take on odors and such, and I don't want to wonder what got spilled on the used loveseat, or how amorous the previous owners were, etc. We found one that we like - good style, color, and even has a pullout bed (which actually would come in handy - it's only a twin bed size but we have actually had need for a place for just one more person to sleep before, and that always meant my husband had to sleep on the floor). We were thinking of using some tax return money on it but I guess I'm really afraid to spend $500 now on something non-essential when we have only $1000 (actually $922 at the moment) in our emergency fund.

I go back and forth. $500 is supposedly not a lot in the grand scheme of things. It's two car payments (and we have none). And I think a love seat would add quite a bit to our quality of life, since we have nowhere comfortable to sit and talk or play a board game or read or anything. And this is the 7th year in our house. But $500 also represents 5 months worth of savings at our current rate. And if I lose my job, $1000 (current savings) is not going to go very far at all. SIGH.


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## amber913 (Jun 4, 2006)

If you're happy the way you're living, then that's all that matters.

Different people have different ideas of "strapped". I've had friends nearly in tears about how to pay rent, yet they go out to eat several times/week. Either that's a different concept of broke than i'm accustomed to or they're lying...or crazy or something.

We're broke. Anything we have that's nice was purchased in a different financial time for us (ie. before dh got laid off). Our towels are fraying, and i have no thoughts of replacing them; they do the job they're meant to do. Our sheets have holes in them, but i can repair them (if i get around to it). I try not to compare myself to others. I'm struggling with the "must be nice" mentality--trying not to do that! I'm staying away from TV. That helps--everybody's rich on TV!

I didn't read any other responses (yet), but you sound like you have your priorities straight.


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## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

Just a brief suggestion- you could use some of the holey sheets to reinforce and patch the quilt that is coming apart, and/ or to make a new quilt.


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## The Imp and I (Feb 14, 2011)

We have some awesome hand me down towels with the addition of some random beach towels and so on that have been acquired over the last ten years. My furniture is also random and has duct tape patching the back of the couch... i did splurge on some nice throws (2 second hand) to tidy things up. My dishes match but they are plain jane cheap and hard working. my mother bought me them the first family Christmas I hosted as a wife because i was crying over not enough plates and no two alike. it mattered so deeply just then. My DH has promised me a sofa but im leaning towards a nice new mattress..... My house is a bit more random than some and sometimes Im a bit jealous of their stuff but usually I'm content with my tatt and bric-a-brac. Its mine, its well worn in and i don't cry when juice/milk/crayons vanish into the crevices.


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