# My husband sleeps on the couch!



## femalephish (Feb 3, 2009)

My daughter is a year and a half and has always slept in our bed. We're still nursing but she sometimes will sleep until 4am before she needs to nurse again. But she's so squirmy! She's always kicking us and we both end up pushed right against the side of the bed. I still sleep alright but my husband has had enough! I don't want him to sleep on the couch so I think we need her to move to her own bed now.

I don't know anyone who has done this in real life! All of my cosleeping friends eventually had their HUSBAND move out of their bed and not their child! I just don't want that for us. How can I gently move my girl to her own space? My DH thinks he should just go in there when she wakes up but I think if I'm not there she will just cry and cry. What if it lasts? Has anyone btdt?

Thanks,

-Courtney


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## Imagining (Mar 8, 2010)

We have a musical bed setup that is somewhere between husband kicked out and child on own. I put our 10 month old and 4 year old to bed in the "sleep room" with mattresses on the floor. Then I can go into our bed with my husband until the first wake up, at which point I just stay in the sleep room with the kids the rest of the night because it's not like I'd be having quality time with DH after that anyway. And the little ones don't snore... so I'm likely getting better sleep this way!

Something else we tried at one point was a separate mattress for our son who can be very squirmy too. Perhaps you could transition her to a mattress in your room even so you could go to her when she wakes up at night and then easily pop back into your own bed? And then she might get adapted to sleeping in her own spot, so could transition to a separate room easier.

Best of luck!


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## justKate (Jun 10, 2008)

Do you have a crib mattress that you could put on the floor in your bedroom? It's totally worth a try. If she rolls off of it, she'll be fine. You could (sort of) lay on it with her to nurse, then leave her there sleeping and get in your bed with your husband. Just a thought!


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## erinleee (Jan 18, 2010)

I was wondering the same thing. my DH sleeps in room #3!

some parents talk of the *gulp* "sleep solution". that nasty process in which you wean your baby off of waking up at night by letting them cry for 2 minutes, 5 minutes....

I was thinking of doing this but REALLy do not want to.

can't imagine letting my dd just cry because she wants me! seems pretty cruel. ouch. but they say it only takes like 3 nights until it works.

I have been putting her to sleep in her crib and then bring her to bed when she wakes up the first time or when i go to bed, thinking that eventually she will just sleep thru the night. ya right!! not really working, but its a nice idea!! hehe. let me know if you find out any gentle and good methods.


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## colsxjack (Dec 9, 2009)

We sidecar a crib to our bed. My DD sleeps on the side beside the crib and some parts of the night in the crib. My wife sleeps in the middle and I sleep on the other side. That way she can do all her squirming beside mama, who it rarely bothers. When Mama is getting bothered by it, or just needs some space, she can slide DD into the crib that is sidecarred,

It works for us.


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## mcoreen (Feb 23, 2010)

I put my DS to bed in his own room and then try to get back up to have quality time with DH. DH & I will go to bed together, then DS will come in around 2-3am. I take DS back to his room & crawl in bed with him. DH doesn't seem to notice if I'm there or not once he's gone to sleep & generally gets up much earlier than us anyway. If I let DS crawl in bed with us, it drives DH nuts if he squirms or makes any noise, so he'll head to the sofa. This set up seems to be working. I'm hoping that eventually DS will just start sleeping through the night. I'm not sure what we'll do when baby #2 comes along. DS's bed is too small for 3 & our bed is too small for 4. I'll put a crib next to our bed but maybe a bassinet next to DS's bed if we all need to crawl in there.


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## tink79 (Jun 9, 2004)

If you're not ready to move DD to another room, I definitely agree that sidecarring is the way to go. We had issues with our twins, being so small and DH being a heavy sleeper so we had a cosleeper for the first few months which actually helped them transition to their own sleeping space and then eventually to their own rooms.


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## crobinator (May 15, 2009)

We have our queen mattress and a twin mattress on the floor in our room, against a wall. with a bedrail on the other side, you can both move around at your leisure. the plan was to have our son in the twin and we in the queen, but our son was eventually in the middle, so now my husband sleeps on the twin and our little one is next to him on the queen, then me. but it shifts throughout the night, my husband staying where he is and actually putting off transitioning our little one to his own bed because he (my husband) sort of likes the uninterrupted sleep.


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## beebalmmama (Jul 21, 2005)

With my first ds, I nightweaned him at 18 months. He was an all night nurser and I wasn't getting adequate sleep at all. After he nightweaned successfully, he started sleeping through the night around 20 months (for the most part). We got a twin bed and pushed it up against ours, ds slept in the twin. Over a few weeks we gradually started pushing his bed to the other side of the room. The room was only around 10' X 10' anyway, LOL. We happened to be doing some painting in our home and wanted to do the bedrooms and so we actually transitioned ourselves out of "his" new room. It worked out really well. Before we bought him the twin bed, ds was on the floor on a futon mattress and I would go down and nurse him and then get back in my bed, unless I fell asleep first.

Now with ds 2 we got a twin mattress immediately and have had a larger sleep surface which has worked out really well for us. Ds is on the twin pushed against the wall. So far this is working really well for us.


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