# "Never leave an infant unattended in an adult bed"



## Breeder (May 28, 2006)

How many of you follow this advice? If so where does your L.O. take naps? Do you go to sleep for the night when your L.O. does? Just curious since I always see this as a co-sleeping guideline.


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## tammyswanson (Feb 19, 2007)

I would leave DS asleep during the day in the bed. He used to sleep a LOT and was a deep sleeper, plus our house is small so I knew if he would wake up.


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## donutmolly (Jun 9, 2005)

I also leave my babies alone on the bed until they're mobile. After that I'm more careful, but since both mine have cried as soon as awakening, it never seemed like a big deal. That and our bed is a futon, so I doubt a fall off the bed would hurt them anyway. Is there some other reason for not leaving baby unattended in an adult bed that I'm missing???


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## Breeder (May 28, 2006)

Yeah I don't know the reasoning other than baby falling out of bed or possibly rolling on to their face or something. I check on my baby frequently and he always cries upon waking, so I never saw it as much of an issue.


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## St. Margaret (May 19, 2006)

I leave DD on our bed and the guest bed. She'll cry for me as soon as she stirs, half-asleep and wanting boobie (or call "mama" or "help!" which is cute







), we put pillows all around the far side of the bed, and the side she's on is either the wall or the side car crib. We also use a monitor if we're downstairs. She's a toddler now and she's fine. When she was an infant, she'd never sleep well enough to leave her for more than a quick potty run anyway. And she wasn't a crawler or much of a roller-- she butt-scooted, and couldn't sit up on her own until she was old enough to know not to go off the bed. I think it's a common-sense call for each baby and each situation


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## Arwyn (Sep 9, 2004)

I think it's one of those over-cautious CYA pieces of phooey. Not that there aren't infants who shouldn't be left alone, but there are lots of situations in which it's fine.

I should say though that we didn't start laying Naked Baby down for naps at all until he was over a year old. But that was because we liked him sleeping on us (he liked it too of course), not because we wouldn't have wanted to let him sleep on the bed alone.


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## dogmom327 (Apr 19, 2007)

DS naps in our bed and goes to bed there without us (we join him later). We don't own a crib or toddler bed.


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## thefragile7393 (Jun 21, 2005)

Never had a problem here...when ds was littler he'd sleep on the couch near me with stuff to ensure he wouldn't fall off...when he was an older baby he'd sleep just fine in the big bed (again, with stuff around so that he didn't roll off).


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## amandaleigh37 (Jul 13, 2006)

We always put DS on our bed for naps, and bedtime until we joined him. When he was about 4 months old, he did roll off our bed







But that wasn't due to him being in bed alone, because I was in bed with him.

But after that, we moved the matress off the frame and right on the floor to be safe. When he was about a year old, and could climb on and off the bed safely, we put it back on the frame.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

I'll reevaluate when she gets mobile but Lina naps alone on our bed.


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## avivaelona (Jun 24, 2005)

Our mattresses are on the ground so I don't really worry about an infant falling off. But no when DS was sleeping in our bed I never left him alone there. Just the logistics of our house, and how far away the bedroom was and how hard to hear if something happens up there. I had him nap on the futon sofa for a while though, which doesn't really seem different to me, except I was never far away then. I would leave him sleeping if I was just going to the bathroom for a few minutes or something.


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## tabrizia (Oct 24, 2007)

I voted what we do now, but honestly DS won't sleep alone till he was one anyways and by that time he could get off the bed on his own (he could do this from 9 months or so actually) and down the stairs, so it isn't a big deal. We do surround him with pillows on our bed and he has a rail on his bed on the side not against the wall. That being said, if he would have slept alone I would have left him there, checking frequently till he was mobile.


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## leila1213 (Sep 15, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Arwyn* 
I think it's one of those over-cautious CYA pieces of phooey. Not that there aren't infants who shouldn't be left alone, but there are lots of situations in which it's fine.

Yeah, it seems like it's almost an excuse to make sure that you still buy/own/show off a crib, to make it seem like you're still "normal".


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## Amylcd (Jun 16, 2005)

We never follow that rule.


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## mamarootoo (Sep 16, 2008)

we used to leave DD in our bed alone, but then we got a new, really tall, bed (it's seriously up to my waist... and I'm 5'9"!) so we dont anymore.
for naps, i either get her down in our bed and mess around on the computer (in the bedroom) or i get her down and lay her on the couch in the livingroom.

DH and i get in bed with her at 8, and after she'[s asleep, we watch tv, or use our laptops, or more recently, i'll fall asleep w/ her at 8:30 (yay for being pregnant!)


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## sweetpeppers (Dec 19, 2007)

I always kept the baby monitor on so I could hear anything that happened.


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## mamadelbosque (Feb 6, 2007)

DS generally naps on the couch







: As for on the bed, he only is generally there in the mornings on the random (and rare) occasions when he's still snooze'n when we get up. At night/evenings he sleeps on the floor on his pad or else up in his crib/toddler bed till he wakes up and comes'n climbs into ours


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## riversong (Aug 11, 2005)

I think it's pretty unrealistic for most cosleeping people never to leave an infant alone on a bed. We didn't have a crib when our dc were babies. But we chose to have a bed that's very low to the ground.


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## LauraN (May 18, 2004)

We've always left our little ones on our bed for naps, even once they're mobile.

For the first two, the bed was low to the ground.

For the third, both sides of the bed are a short drop to his siblings' side-carred beds, which in turn are low enough to the ground that he's safe. But he's never fallen, anyway. When he wakes up, he usually cries out before he's completely awake, or on occasion he'll be sitting up in bed when I get there.


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## paphia (Jun 22, 2007)

My lo sleeps in arms or in a wrap. I would leave him for naps if his sister would leave him alone long enough to sleep. I get them down for naps and stay in bed with them so they don't wake each other up. Dh and I go to bed at the same time they do (usually about 8:30 or 9 pm). It works for us.


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## ChetMC (Aug 27, 2005)

We broke this rule on all fronts. I think we've broken nearly every co-sleeping rule. Except taking stuff that makes you drowsy. I haven't taken sleeping pills since we've had kids in bed with us.


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## Turquesa (May 30, 2007)

OK, odd woman out here. I do NOT leave her unattended on our bed. She has rolled off twice, and I'm kicking myself for allowing it to happen. TWICE! What the #$#%@ was I thinking???

It may depend on the baby, but once they're mobile, I wouldn't do it.


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## leila1213 (Sep 15, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Turquesa* 
OK, odd woman out here. I do NOT leave her unattended on our bed. She has rolled off twice, and I'm kicking myself for allowing it to happen. TWICE! What the #$#%@ was I thinking???

It may depend on the baby, but once they're mobile, I wouldn't do it.

I don't know how many times DD rolled off.







: It was at least 4, probably more. But it's been a long time since that has happened. She's 27 months now, and she was probably not much more than a year the last time it happened. I don't roll out of bed anymore, so I'm not really expecting her to pick it back up again.







I still use pillows around her, but she's much more aware of her space than a little baby who is rolling around developmentally in their sleep. JMO


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## Halfasianmomma (Nov 1, 2007)

I live in a small two-bedroom apartment, so I'm always close by if DD were to wake up...also, she doesn't roll over yet, so I place her securely on our bed and leave the door half-open. I used to worry about the cats being in there with her, but they're so petrified of DD that they won't go near.


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## Jannah6 (Aug 29, 2007)

I voted other. It depends on if the infant is able to roll or not.


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## Onemagicmummy (Jul 27, 2007)

i have never and will neer leave DD alone in my bed,

for her naps when she was tiny she would sleep in wrap/carrier and now she is older she still nurses to sleep so i either jsut hld her while she sleeps or pop her in the stroller while she naps and at bed time if she sleeps before im ready to go to bed she sleeps either in ym or DH's arms. if i wake up before her she is still asleep i put the sid of her cot up and listen out for her.

she doesnt co-sleep as much as she used to she prefers room to wriggle around than being snuggled in with me and thats fine.

kiz


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## Alcyone (Apr 27, 2007)

I don't leave DD in bed alone because my cats often play on the bed in the daytime. She naps on me or in the Amby on our balcony.


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## ani'smommy (Nov 29, 2005)

I have always put DS down for naps on our bed. And also for bedtime, around 8:30 or so. I have never worried about it. I have a monitor on him so I can hear him if he wakes up, but he usually cries or yells right away. Our bed is on the floor, so I'm not worried about him rolling off.


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## lasciate (May 4, 2005)

DD always napped on our bed as an infant. I used a baby monitor so I could hear the minute she started moving around.


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## Tofu the Geek (Dec 2, 2003)

Under approx. 18 months, baby sleeps on the living room floor for naps, and on the living room floor at night until I go to bed at which point baby comes upstairs to our bed. After approx. 18 months (or when baby is able to crawl off my bed by themselves), naps are on the floor or couch, and at night are in my bed by themselves until I come up.


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## Draupadi (Jul 19, 2007)

DS usually naps in my arms or on the couch, but he rarely gets left alone on the bed by himself. If we need to (usually when we're feeling a little amorous), we do put him in the crib. We have bedrails on my side of the bed and stack heavy pillows on DH's side (if DH is not actually in the bed). DS has rolled out of the bed and it's not something I care to repeat.


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## Ks Mama (Aug 22, 2006)

With my DD, I started leaving her for naps & nighttime sleep in the middle of our bed around 4 months... when I realized the only way she'd go to sleep without me was if I nursed her down & rolled away. Took me 4 months to get to that point. Tired mama.
With DS, we started from birth for naps & night in our bed.


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## ~Yola (Sep 2, 2006)

All of my kids have naped on their own and been left sleeping until I'm ready for bed, usually in a basinette until they grow out of it, then in our bed.

We've always had a futon or matress on the floor, with pillows laid down beside it in case they roll of, until they're about 7 months old or so and can be taought how to climb domn, then we'll raise it up a bit again. All of them have rolled off the bed on occasion, but I find as soon as they learn to climb off they wake up enough to do that when they get to the edge.

Oh and I forgot to mention, we have a monitor on so I can hear them stirring, so I get there before they move that far.


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## shanniesue2 (Jul 4, 2007)

I used to leave DS alone sometimes (like in the morning when he was still asleep and I needed to take a shower). However, he is really rolling and crawling now, and he has fallen off the bed twice when I was in the room. Plus he's pretty happy and doesn't make a sound when he wakes up. So now, if I can't be right there next to him and he's asleep (or awake), I'll gently move him to the play yard that we have set up at the foot of our bed.


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## AutumnAir (Jun 10, 2008)

I didn't for the first 6 months or so because she was mostly napping on me! We also have a side-carred cot, so I put her in that for naps and for bedtime until I come to bed, but I often just nurse her and leave her on the bed because she's such a light sleeper that moving her over wakes her up.. Since she was 7 months old she's been able to get off the bed feet first, and she usually cries when waking up, before really moving anyway, so I have time to get to her. We also live in a small flat, so I'm never more than a few feet from the room - I think that precaution may be more valid if you live in a big house and it would take a minute or two to get to your LO. I agree with a PP - I think it's just the usual CYA. And of course it helps to discourage people from doing it, if they think it's hard or they have to do/buy lots of special stuff.


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## Jaysfamily (Jun 5, 2008)

I never left him alone in the bed when he was an infant. We have a very tall bed and a fall onto our hard floor might have killed him or caused some major injuries. Plus, he was a preemie, so he was higher risk for sleeping accidents. Now that he's a toddler, I have a full mattress on the floor next to our bed and that's where he sleeps most of the time. My husband or I will lay with him if he needs us to, and sometimes I pull him back into the bed with us. I also used a Snug Tuck pillow to keep him from rolling off when he was an infant.

I am pretty diligent about safety and he's still rearfacing in his carseat, so some people think I'm overboard. I really only worry about life-threatening safety issues and let most of the small things go, so he can learn not to do them the natural way.


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## calpurnia (Sep 26, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
I'll reevaluate when she gets mobile but Lina naps alone on our bed.

Yeah this.


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## Mommy2Haley (Oct 25, 2007)

If I never left her I'd never get to pee or shower...

...and that wouldn't be good for ANYONE.


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## kalamos23 (Apr 11, 2008)

DD naps on me and on the bed - I would never get anything done (and I really don't get that much done anyway!) if she didn't. She goes to bed between 9 and 10 at night and DH and I go to bed with her and watch tv or talk until we are sleepy - generally that is maybe 30 min after DD goes to bed!


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## nataliebojesen (Dec 31, 2007)

I never could find any info about co-sleeping and naps when my dd was young (just turned 1)so I just blocked her off with pillows and laundry baskets and moved on. Now, she can get off the bed herself (it is just the mattress and b.spring) so, we shut the door. The rrom is baby proofed and we have a monitor. I mean, there is no point of doing the co-sleeping drift off into sleep and then trying to transfer them, right?


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## mizznicole (Feb 13, 2007)

He slept alone with a bed bug bumper until recently when he got his own floor bed. We have a platform but he's already rolled off a few times, which makes me feel like the jerk of the year (2x during the day, 1x at night). We just got a new bed rail. I do not let him alone on our bed at all now.


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## bottomsup (Jul 6, 2007)

Well, I will disagree about the CYA thing. I think there is a very good reason for this rule. Maybe not for all babies, but certainly for plenty of them. It's fine if you feel your [general baby] is safe, but really, I do not see how this is an anti co-sleeping conspiracy rule. There are very real dangers to leaving babies alone on a bed.

Babies roll, crawl, scooch, and often times, they do it in a groggy state and end up right off the bed. They can become entrapped in rails or between the mattress and the wall. If you have your mattress dropped down on the floor with no rails, which really is the safest, then leaving the baby alone on the bed isn't a big deal, but otherwise, I think it is risky.

I just get a little queasy sometimes when I think about my little guy and the one time he crawled right off the bed head first because I didn't hear him move over the newspaper we had laid down on the bed as a sounding alarm.

After that, or naps, we always put the little one on an air mattress on the floor, after he passed the sleeping on me all the time stage!


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## milkybean (Mar 19, 2008)

Our bed is a family bed, so the big bed is HIS bed. So of course he naps on it and always has. And he sleeps earlier than I do, so he sleeps in there without me at night, too.

FWIW, my husband was 9 months old when he climbed out of his crib. And hid. Rather than hiding, he could have fallen. And this was in a crib, where people think babies SHOULD sleep alone!

When I thought about it, I preferred DS on a mattress/boxspring without any rails to climb from, b/c rails would have just been something higher to jump from, LOL. (we bought bed rails and returned them just as soon as I installed them and took them down, and we never had a gate at our stairs, either, b/c it seemed like a springboard)


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## butterfly_mommy (Oct 22, 2007)

We have a crib side cared to our bed so when I put DS to nap it is usually in the crib part with my big memory foam body pillow on the bed (he just started rolling about a week or so ago) I used to let him nap on the bed part alone all the time becasue he never moved. I also put him down to sleep for the night in the crib part alone till we come to bed. We have a small house and I am usually in the room right beside, separated with french doors) I have on a baby monitor and I am constantly checking our bed set up for entrapment zones (any space that is between 4-10 inches big)


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## becoming (Apr 11, 2003)

We leave DS2 in bed without us occasionally (when he's not sleeping in arms) and have for a while now. He's technically a toddler, but I think we were leaving him in the bed alone since about 8 months old? He always sits up in bed and "calls" us when he's ready for us to come get him. We do make a little pillow barricade so that he doesn't roll off the side.


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## simple life (Apr 14, 2006)

Paul has always slept in the bed some by himself. It's on the ground. There was only a few months that I worried, those between him learning to roll and him figuring out how to get off the bed. But we lived in a very, very small house, and then a camp ground, then a studio, so I could ALWAYS see him, so knew if he was moving too close.

Now we live in a large trailer, if we have another baby, I will get bedrails for those few months since I can't easily see the bed from all parts of the house.

Julie


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