# What is the worst/dumbest thing anyone has ever said to you about parenting stuff?



## kater07

And what PERFECT comebacks did you have ready or did you think of later?

If you have other combacks, please pass them around.

I am sure that we could all use some good laughs!!!


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## ~Megan~

When dd was about 7 wks my grandfather said she was spoiled, I told him "You're right, she's spoiled with love"

I hate it when people tell me to just let her "cry it out" or that I'm going to spoil her


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## MysticHealerMom

When I was pg at Thanksgiving, my uncle, who thinks he's the head of the family, came and sat down next to me. All showy and fatherly he leans over and says

"Ya know, parenting is hard work."

I just wanted him to go away. I leaned over and said

"Well... Duh."

He didn't know what to say. I realized he had this whole head of steam, prly a monologue about how you just can't prepare, such a challenge, yada yada. He just got up and left. I told my mom about it later. I was all, what the?? And she and her sister laughed their butts off because he thinks he's so wise and everyone wants to hear what he has to say. Blow hard. Hubby and I totally changed our lives around so we could do the kids thing, I thought it was pretty obvious we were taking it seriously. I guess not to everyone...


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## its_our_family

I was told that letting him stand before 7 months would make him bow legged and that when he sat on the floor and rocked back and forth he had mental problems! Plus I had a dr tell me she thought he was deaf cause when she tapped the table by his head he didn't look for the noise!

No come backs







I was just astounded at the stupidity!


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## PumpkinSeeds

My MIL said that by nursing my ds I was going to turn him into a homosexual.


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## threegirlsmom

After I had my third daughter I was walking around some shops with my two daughters in tow and my third newborn daughter asleep in a stroller. An old lady walking by peeked into the stroller and said "gee, I bet you would have rather had a boy", then walked away. I was shocked! My oldest daughter, 5 years old at the time, asked me what was wrong with being a girl. I told her nothing, that the lady was just stupid.


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## sevenkids

My kids have big heads. All of them. Not balloon heads, just bigger than usual. Their dad has a big head, so they get it from him. (Not _my_ side of the family!LOL!) I took my youngest to the pediatrician, but my pedi was away, so we saw his partner. By this time, ds was already sitting up and crawling, so I sat him on the table and the doc began to exam him, measure him, etc. When he took his head circumference, he gasped, "His head is too big! We need to follow-up on this!" I was for a minute, like "Oh, my G-d! What's wrong with my baby!" Anyway, the doc started to make plans for a CAT scan and an MRI, EKG, etc, and said, "Don't let him sit up until we get the test results in! I need you to take him to the hospital right away!"
Well, common sense took over again, and I figured, Well, if he has a neurological problem, would he be sitting up, crawling, eating, playing, and developing normally? Of course not!
So, I told the doctor I thought he was over-reacting, and yes, his head was a little on the large side, but if he was already crawling, and been sitting up for quite some time, why did he think he was not well?
The nurse started to crack up, she ran and got a tape measure and started to measure dh's head. She showed the doctor how big dh's head was, laughing hysterically. (Poor dh!)
Doc still insisted on having him tested, but I refused, and said, look, if my baby was not well, I would be the first to know. I think he's fine, and there is no reason for alarm. Yes, he got a big head, but so do my other kids. If anything should appear strange, I'll rush him in.
The nurse agreed with me.
When my regular doctor came back, I saw him and told him about it and we both had a good chuckle. My doc said." Some folks just have big heads!"


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## mommymushbrain

The dumbest thing ever said to me was while I was pregnant with our youngest. I was talking to an ex-friend, who was a little dumb to being with, about going on vacation and how I couldn't wait to go swimming. She told me that I can't go swimming while I was pregnant because I would drown my baby. The whole comment shocked me because I have never heard anything so dumb before that I just sat there and couldn't say anything... I think I laughed though.


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## Envision

I went to visit one of my childless friends and she had another friend over who had a 3 or 4 year old there. My ds was maybe 3 months or something at the time...

So I of course feed him while we are there and the childless person says..."does it hurt?"..I'm like "would I do it if it hurt???" This is also the friend that kept asking me if it hurt when the baby moved when I was still pregnant...duh.

Anyway, then the other person who had a child had to go into the reason she couldn't breastfeed her baby..
"Oh, I really tried and finally after day two the nurses realized that I wasn't making any milk..so I had to give her formula..." blah blah blah..then proceeds to tell me "man, I had to wear the tighest bra I had when I got engorged..it was so painful..."
Not wanted to completely embarrass everyone I just sat there puzzled by this logic..."I have no milk, but I am in so much pain because I am engorged"...







:

I always wonder, why can't people just say "I don't want to breastfeed, that doesn't work for me..." I would have much more respect for their honesty then the idiotic stories they come up with...

Oils


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## Curly Locks

I've had many negative comments about bfing:

MIL told dh "She only needs to nurse ds for two months."
My grandmother "You only need to nurse for two months. That's how long your cousins were nursed (2O plus years earlier)." I responded with the Amercian Pediatrics Assoc. says a year and the WHO (Word Health Organiz.) says two years and that extended nursing has great benefits like fewer ear infections. She responded with, "Well your cousin had tubes put in even tho' he was breastfed for two months." At the time I had no come back to that. But now I believe from what I've read (and learned from moms telling me that even tho' they nursed for two months or less and baby needed tubes put in at about a year old from ear infections) that inner ear problems in babies is only lessened while being breatfed.







:
My grandmother "My doc told me my milk was too thick and was giving your dad diahrea (sp?) so I had to give him goats milk" I asked how the doc knew it wasn't just normal runny explosive breastfed baby poop? She said he just knew. And my ds was 3 months at the time and had that diahrea explosive thing going on. So I think it made her wonder.
MY SIL at every holiday gathering: "Have you tried giving him a bottle??" I have to explain every time that he has gag reflex just to get her to quit asking.

People are so uneducated about bfing b/c it is not the norm right now. My hope is that bottlefeeding will not be the norm one day so my future daughter or grandchildren won't have to go thru the hell I went thru and goofy questions people ask. But a good friend is not sure she will breastfeed her next baby and I am so sad. Maybe it was b/c all the frustration I had in the first few months of learning??


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## MysticHealerMom

Pumpkinseed, that's a good one! And here I thought straight men LIKED boobs


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## merpk

P'nseed ...







... that's amazing.

This thread is a riot. In the "sad but true" category of riots.

I've got too many to add, but just one comment off the top of my head ... a friend who said "if you don't wean by one then they'll never wean!" ...







:

Better remember to nurse 'em one last time before they walk down the aisle ... :LOL










- Amy


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## lilyka

I had a friend who did the "I couldn't BF because I had no milk - just a few drops " (duh - thats all that is supposed to be there). And then go on to complain because her Dr. wouldn't give her the shot to dry up.







: I just wanted to stand up and scream. Some people just don't get it.

The dumbest thing I have ever heard is one of the nurses in the NICU when dd#1 was born told me I wuld know she was latched on right when it hurt.


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## Amanda

What is it with EVERYONE asking, "so...is she sleeping through the night?" Like it's some kind of contest or something. I used to actually try and answer this question. My answer would go something like this, "well, we co-sleep and I bf, so when she's hungry I just kind of roll over. It's night, so I'm not sure how often it happens. Usually I fall asleep with her eatting...." You get the point.
I got so tired of having to explain why what I'm doing is okay, and to some people that this was not a criminal act. So, now I've just started outright lying to the various strangers and friends of friend's that ask me this question, I just say "great!"







Sometimes people look disappointed when I say this, like they wanted me to say "horrible!, she cries all night." People are so wierd...
I wanted to tell a nice story too...
One afternoon I was at my grandma's and I took a nap while she watched dd for me. When I woke up my grandma said, "I just walked her and held her the whole time you slept, she's only happy when you hold her. You've really spoiled her."
and I relplied to my grandma something like "I guess I have."
and grandma said, "isn't it great spoiling babies!" and she was smiling. My grandma told me she never let one of her 4 babies cry...and that my mom never let me cry either. She said my grandpa didn't think it was right to let a baby cry.








Just wanted to add that there are a few older AP parents out there! Imagine being AP in the 1950's????
This thread is great! Why do people feel free to say stupid things to mothers and pregnant women?


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## MysticHealerMom

Quote:

_Originally posted by Amanda_
*...Why do people feel free to say stupid things to mothers and pregnant women?*
Nice granny









I saw a quote once, I'm paraphrasing - when you're pregnant, everyone thinks they're an obstetrician.

Prly goes the same for "pediatrician"


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## ~member~

"Is she a good baby?"
Uhmmm...No, she's downright evil! She's horrendus! She even says the F-word!!! can you believe it?!?! And twice I have caught men in her bed!!!!!!! My baby is so naughty!!

ok, I think i almost gave this elderly lady a heart attack, but hey, I was sick of it that day.
Also..."If your baby was white she'd look like a snowman."
WTF?!?







:
I am totally dumbfounded by that one. uh, jeez, thanx?







: Or how about, "You really think so? Wow!" (last part said with complete awe).







:

Bf'ing: after dd #2 was born, I went to nurse her and the Dr. had a sh*t fit. he yelled that I was going to give her an infection!







And here i was at a 'Birthing Center' that specialized in water births. Hellllloooooo?!?!







:







:


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## Kundalini-Mama

thanks ladies, SO funny!

when i was pregnant and at my baby shower, my best friend's mom was talking to my hubby (it was a co-ed shower). she was telling dh that even though the u/s said we were having a boy, the penis might go inside, and we could have a girl!!







my hubby being polite, was like, "oh really, very interesting"

also, on the "is he sleeping through the night" question, this is what i always say:

first i kind of scoff and shake my head, then i say, "of course not, i know very few adults who sleep through the night, how could i expect that of a tiny baby!?!"

works EVERY time.

"you know you're right, my dh doesn't sleep through the night, and i'm up once to pee, hmmm, what a silly question"

hth
amy


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## frodo

i'm vegetarian & we're raising both kids vegetarian. here's my winner for dumbest comment, made while i was pregnant with ny second. she was very small, due to my chronic ridiculously high blood pressure, but extremely healthy and very active. hearing me complain about her constant movement (she'd get her little feet into the oddest places and then S-T-R-E-T-C-H.) one of my husband's friends told me that there was probably something wrong with her & that the reason why she wiggled so much was because she had indigestion because "she wasn't used to a vegetarian diet".







: wha?

as for all the people who wouldn't breastfeed because they didn't have any milk, well i REALLY didn't have enough milk. my daughter was a preemie, small even for a preemie (3lbs 6 oz), gaining weight so slowly she was off the curve, & in the special care nursury for 3 weeks. i was having the hardest time letting down to my crappy little manual pump, and the hospital refused to rent us a pump because we choose not to have a credit card. when i finally got her home my milk came in but i started having problems with extreme pain while nursing, due to the fact that her mouth was too small to latch properly, she wanted to nurse every hour or more, & my nipples were traumatized. i am still having trouble with pain & cracks that even lansinoh won't heal (posted "help!" in bfing "overcoming difficulties" board.) even one of the hospital lactation consultants was suggesting i give it up.

my daughter is 6 months old on the 30th. if i can breastfeed for SIX MONTHS through all that & still keep going then these twits can stick it out till their milk comes in. no, of course its not "easy". "easy" is for wussies, not parents.

frodo


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## thistle

Someone (a babywiser) told me that children my daughter's age (7 1/2 mo) "don't need stimulation". This is the same person who told me that she doesn't play with her 4 yo dd b/c she "doesn't want her to expect that." I feel very sorry for that little girl. The mom would probably freak out if she saw me crawling around on the floor with dd giggling and playing!

thistle


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## Piglet68

While I was pregnant and arranging for my mother to come visit us after the baby was born...

Me: "Okay, Mum, so the c-section is scheduled for July 16, but if I go into labour before then they'll just do it at that time."

Mum: "What do you mean 'if you go into labour before then'? I thought your due date was July 24?"

Me: "Uh...the 40 week gestation period is just a rough guess, Mum. Babies can be born any time around the 40th week."

Mum: "Really? That's so inconvenient! How does anybody plan these things?"

(keep in mind my mother adopted us and has never been pregnant. still...pretty naive, don't you think? lol)


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## April 2007

at my son's 2 month appt (which i regret going to), the nurse asked how long and often noah nurses, i said " i don't know...when he wants to." she gave me this look like "but i have to write something down or i'll cry!." so i said, "every 2-3 hrs, anything from 2-40 minutes."

then hse said, "so i see he'll be getting shots today"(i told them twice that he wasn't) i said no and she looked dumbfounded. then she said, "but you have medicaid" then it was my turn to give the "and?" look. she said "the dr won't be happy about this!" (oh no, i don't want to upset the dr!!!!!! lol) she said (w an attitude) "i'll have to have you sign a paper" and then right as she was leaving she spun around and said "you know medicaid can hold your coverage from you if refuse vaccines...and they WILL!" I told her it didn't matter cause he'd be on different insurance soon.

the doc came in, opened the file and said, "so i see you're refusing shots. i said yes and he asked why.i told him that i needed to educate myself more about them and that if i did choose to vaccinate, it would be on a schedule i choose and noah would be older so if he did have a reaction, his immune system would be stronger. he just gave me a blank stare.

then he saw about b.feeding and said nursing him past 15 minutes was bad cause he was just using me for confort. i said, "so??" he didn't have much to say after that, except when he saw noah standing and snapped at me sayong that he was too young to be doing that (so what am i supposed to do? put him in a cast that prevents it?)

SHEESH!!! i know i have more, but this day stuck out in my head


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## April 2007

i just had to add to the good baby thing.

this is the most common and stupidest thing ppl ask me!

"is he a good baby?" I just smile, nod, and say"yeah, he's great"

what do they thinkim gonna say?????

also, everyone always asks, "so does he cry alot?" and "does he wake up in the middle of the night screaming and crying?"

I always say "no, y should he?"


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## HotMama

Quote:

_Originally posted by MamaInTheBoonies_
*"Is she a good baby?"
Uhmmm...No, she's downright evil! She's horrendus! She even says the F-word!!! can you believe it?!?! And twice I have caught men in her bed!!!!!!! My baby is so naughty!!

ok, I think i almost gave this elderly lady a heart attack, but hey, I was sick of it that day.
*
ROTFLMAO







I was laughing so hard I woke up dd! How's a Mama suppossed to nurse a baby to sleep with such funny posts??


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## indiegirl

Yesterday I went to my aunts yearly xmas party and was talking to one of her friends. She asked me where the baby was that I was pg with last year. I told her I miscarried that baby. She said, "Oh you weren't that far along anyway. And besides, that baby was most likely deformed, so its actually a good thing it died."










Nice. I wanted to slap her, instead I said, "That very well may be true, but it certainly doesn't make it any easier."

Jesse


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## kater07

Quote:

_Originally posted by indiegirl_
*...She said, "Oh you weren't that far along anyway. And besides, that baby was most likely deformed, so its actually a good thing it died."*

















OMG...I cannot believe anyone would be so calous as to say that to another human being! What was she thinking???

I am sooo sorry for your loss and that you didn't kick that lady's A$$ for being such a biotch!


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## HotMama

I also heard a similar comment after my miscarraige.


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## TrinitysMama

From my MIL:

"You know, most women aren't actually able to breastfeed."
"If there's a problem this time, are you going to go to the hospital or are you going to just wait around for (dh) to get home like you did last time?" (this was said regarding our plans for a homebirth after my first baby was stillborn - like she died because I just dicked around)
"If you never let her cry, her lungs won't grow."

From my mom:

"You should probably start giving her formula just so she'll be used to it if you ever need to give it to her." Eeeewww! No!

From my grandmother:

"She needs to cry at least 2 hours a day so her lungs can develop."
"That baby is tired/cold/hungry/uncomfortable." Uh, if she is she'll let me know.

From my sister:

"Let her cry! I want to hear her cry!"
"You're probably one of those people who would die of cancer because you would try to cure it naturally." (said in regards to our rejection of modern medical involvement in childbirth.) Yeah? Tell that to D____ who is actually dying of cancer right now. I'm sure he'd appreciate your analogy. Childbirth=cancer? I think not.


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## Parker'smommy

I guess the biggest comments I get is about bfing. First, everyone who has formula fed feels like they need to explain in horrid details why they couldn't bf. Then when they find out that my ds didn't latch for 2 weeks and that he didn't even nurse well until 3 months and that he had about 2 ounces of formula his whole life because I started pumping right away they don't know what to say. I feel the same as another poster said, "hey if O can endure the hell that it was for the sake of my baby getting the BEST, more people can too" Yah its hard but isn't yourchild's well being worth it.
Also, now that my ds is almost 10 months everyone has it in their minds that I will wean at 1 year. Hello...the AAP says at LEAST one year. Why would I give my baby the LEAST? I plan to give him the MOST!!

Here are some of my comebacks to extended breastfeeding"

IDIOTS:How long are you going to bf?

ME: At least till college, so he'll do well on his exams.
or
When he grows a mustache, I think it will itch.
or
Never...I want to get the World Record.

hee hee I love it ! My most hated comments are:

he'll bite you
when they can ask for it, its too long
the mothers are doing it for them not the baby

When will the world wake up???

Heather and Parker 2-28-02


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## merpk

indiegirl & HotMama, I've had the same comments, too









... another silly one just came to me ... once during the stage of tandem nursing DD & DS#1, when DS#1 had a cold, my mother was in the room while I was nursing DS.

Mom: Will you nurse DD, too?
Me: Ma, she's a baby. Of course. What else is she gonna eat?
Mom: But he's sick.
Me: So?
Mom: Well, what will you do if his mucous gets on you?
Me:








Mom: Well?
Me: Ma, what would you do if mucous got on your body?
Mom:









My mom is at this point really supportive and cute, but sometimes is stuck in that ... rut ...










- Amy


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## MysticHealerMom

Quote:

_Originally posted by Parker'smommy_
*Also, now that my ds is almost 10 months everyone has it in their minds that I will wean at 1 year. Hello...the AAP says at LEAST one year. Why would I give my baby the LEAST? I plan to give him the MOST!!*
yeah!









Amy, good use of the eyes, I liked the blinking part - he he he


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## MelMel

oh man oh man, frodo you took the words outta my mouth...

since its holiday 'seeing psycho relatives that think YOU are the psycho' time...i'm sure we are all getting these comments.

some lady at a friends familys x-mas get together (so, i did not know her at all) said to me and dh 'she (dd) would be happier if you had her in one of those carry car things' we had just got there, dd was 'fussing' a bit in the new place...i said 'yeah, i wish I was just made out of plastic sometimes, she would prob be alot happier in general..babies LOVE plastic'

my mil said that if we dont put dd in 'girls' clothes she will turn out to be a lesbian. I didnt say anything cuz she didnt say it to me, but to dh...and he told her she was an idiot..

my mom said to put a band-aid on her belly button when the cord fell off, so it would be an 'innie', that if we left it alone, it would be an 'outtie'... i told her she was an idiot.

I get the cry thing all the time, I clean a guys house and dd was crying in one of the rooms, and he was in there looking at her, so I went in and apologized and he almost yelled at me, and said she has to cry to develope her lungs..I said 'not this time, she's hungry' and he said, 'oh, i'll feed her, wheres the bottle' and i said 'in my shirt jerry' and he stopped for a minute and then chuckled and said 'oh, my wife couldnt bf.....' and i just walked out of the room, I'm also tired of hearing those stories....

i get the spoiled thing too (dd is 2 months, whatever) and i tell them 'thats the way she likes it'

people ask me if she's good, or if i like being a mama (huh!?!) and I tell them that 'well, she is alot of work, and has disrupted our lives more than we would've liked, but I cant get her back in now...we tried'

:sinister


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## YiddisheMama

b'h

i was once told by a friend, "i had to start her on solids at four months because my doctor said if i didn't start her on solids then, she'd never want to eat real food."

i waited till i got off the phone to laugh.









i've also gotten some" is she a good baby?" and "does she sleep thru the night?"

chani


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## Chi-Chi Mama

amyrpk, indiegirl & HotMama:


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## Chi-Chi Mama

yeah, the "is she a good baby" "how long you're planning on bfeeding" "how are you going to get her out of your bed" "you're spoiling her" are so tired already!!!

why are some people such morons?

I love you mamas!!









I'd go crazy without this place


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## Doodlebugsmom

These posts are hilarious! Two of my friends who don't have children told me how much dh and I would regret having dd sleep with us. I just told them how much we love it and when they have children of their own they can parent how they want and I will not give them any unsolicited advice. That shut em up pretty quick! Oh, one of them also said that if you co-sleep, you will have no sex life. Whatever!
Susan


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## April 2007

Quote:

_Originally posted by Doodlebugsmom_
*Oh, one of them also said that if you co-sleep, you will have no sex life. Whatever!
Susan*
so where are all these children getting siblings from if nobody has sex anymore??? lol


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## sleepies

i met a few people online...
their doctors had told them they COULD NOT sleep on their backs when they were pregnant or it would CUT OFF the baby's blood supply and kill it.

!?!?!?!


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## Kalliesmama

I've heard many of these terribly ignorant comments too. I think the one that I felt was the worst (or at least the strangest) was something my mother said. In response to finding out that DD sleeps with us, my mom said "What?! You're going to make her weird! I didn't raise you that way!" No, she didn't raise me that way- that could explain a lot about our relationship.... Then again this comes from the woman who has told me that Kallie is spoiled because we won't spank her (she's not even one!) and constantly asks when I'm going to wean Kallie so that she can keep her overnight







:


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## gurumama

Here are mine:

1. Pregnant with ds2. About 6 months along. Had gained about 18 lbs at that point (I'm average sized). Was at a Christmas Eve dinner with dh's family, where his cousin's friend's mother was there (first time we'd all met her). She asked me how far along I was and I told her 6 months. She looked at my belly, looked at her daughter, and said to us both (imagine the tone here...), "Oh, I was never that big with either of my babies, even on the day I delivered."

Well, thank you very much Mrs. B*tch. I didn't say anything--probably looked like a salmon gasping for air. Cried about it for DAYS after that with DH. I am a recovering bulimic (have been in full recovery for nearly 13 years) and have weight issues when pregnant, so it REALLY hurt. What an utterly stupid thing to say.

2. Leaving the hospital with ds2, who we chose not to circumcise. The discharge nurse informs me that I MUST retract the foreskin every day and wash the head of the exposed penis with soap and water.

3. MIL (who is normally very awesome) insisted that both kids NEEDED pacifiers, that they'd turn ME into their pacifier. I finally got her off our case by telling her (truthfully) that because of my breast reduction I needed to nurse more frequently/longer than most mothers, and that if the babies used me as a pacifier, that was ok, because it would produce more milk.

So then, when ds1 was 1 mo old, he sucked his thumb. "He'll be a thumb sucker. You really should use a pacifier." With ds2: "Some babies have a higher need to suck, and he's one of those." Mind you, I have been at home for both babies full-time so any sucking need they have, aside from a night out here and there with DH, was immediately met by me.

Neither boy sucks his thumb.

4. Stepmother. When we visited her when ds1 was 6 mo and I was still nursing, I chose to nurse discreetly but not to banish myself from conversations. I asked her if she nursed her three kids and I got this litany about how she made it 3 months with the first, but it never felt right, so the other two went straight to the bottle. She went ON AND ON about how breastfeeding just "wasn't my thing" and how it must be genetic, because both her daughters (who are within 5 years of my age) didn't like it either (gee, wonder why...they were the last two kids!) and bottle fed their kids....

So every time I nursed after that, she'd make some little comment. Wish I'd never asked. When ds2 was 6 mo we flew out and I nursed w/o comment. Yeah! I learned that her son's wife nursed their kids to 2yo+, so there were some attitude changes!

Mel

p.s. Punkinseed--my first husband was bottle fed and he turned out to be gay, so there goes THAT theory


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## Evergreen

A nurse once, trying to discourage cosleeping, told me that 25 percent of SIDS cases in our state were in cosleeping families.
So does that mean that 75 percent were in non cosleeping families....


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## Chi-Chi Mama

Quote:

_Originally posted by gurumama_
*She asked me how far along I was and I told her 6 months. She looked at my belly, looked at her daughter, and said to us both (imagine the tone here...), "Oh, I was never that big with either of my babies, even on the day I delivered."
*










that's terrible!!

But you know, I gained over 40 pounds with dd.. and I love telling people that - it shocks them and gives me a laugh. I watched my diet really well - healthiest 9 months of my life, exercised, etc. dd was 7 lbs 1 oz. and I'm a pretty small person - 5.4-.5 and about 120-5 pounds right now

I think big pregnant women are beautiful!! If I saw you at that time, I'd probably say something along the lines of "you look so gorgeous, I remember when I was pregnant with dd" with a wistful look on my face









sorry, OT.. I just hate it when people (and especially women) make hurtful comments towards mamas and mamas-to-be


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## April 2007

when I was pregnant I gained 41 lbs. One of the midwives kept telling me that I was going to have a HUGE baby, and that I might never lose the pounds from it. I even ended up crying in her office once!! (she was the only bad midwife out of a WONDERFUL team of 3). WELL, I ended up giving birth to a 6lbs 12oz little boy and he's now 4 months old and I'm 5 lbs UNDER my pre-pregnancy weight! (and no, I haven't been dieting or really excersising at all)

the other day I was at my g'ma's house helping her do stuff and I had Noah in the sling. She asked me if I had a one of those front pack carriers. I told her that I have one but the few times I've tried it, it just kills my back. Then she looked at me and said, well you should really use it because the sling is going to hurt your back real soon and you're gonna regret using it. (did she not just hear me?!?)

When the "sperm donor's" mom told her son that I wasn't having noah circumcised, he called me (from Illinois, and I'm in fla) and asked why and when I told him, he kept saying, "NO, I'm gonna get him circumcised, and that's final, blah, blah, blah..." I asked what his reasons were and he said "It's disgusting...it looks so gross." To which I replied, "and you plan on looking at it from Illinois?"

some people are so stupid!


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## MysticHealerMom

Quote:

_Originally posted by Blessed81902_
*... I asked what his reasons were and he said "It's disgusting...it looks so gross." To which I replied, "and you plan on looking at it from Illinois?"*
BOO-YAH! Good reply!! where's the high-five emoticon??


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## rwikene

This comment was made by my Dh's grandma (the one I don't care much for) at a family Christmas party last weekend~ I was nursing my 13mo DD very discreatly (nursing shirt on and everything) in the front room where everyone was

"Well, my mom nursed her kids untl they were 9mo, and I nursed my kids until they were 9mo....and there is nothing wrong with them"

SO?!?!?!? What I really wanted to say was "well, let's see....your 50ish daughter has been on her death bed for 10+ years now, most of your kids are morbidly obese, and have various medical problems including diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure...and all of them have been in the hospital at one time or another for serious illnesses....yeah they are fine aren't they??????


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## gurumama

chi-chi mama--thank you! I hate hurtful comments about weight too, and I think pregnant women look beautiful. Plus, in the end, I squeezed out an 8 lb. 10 oz kid--all natural, to boot!

rwikene--you could also say, "well, if they were breastfed that long and there's nothing wrong with them, then the longer I breastfeed my child, the less there will be wrong with him. Isn't that great? Thank you for clarifying that for me!" with a big old smile on your face--but the kind that doesn't include your eyes.

and good for you for not hiding while bf'ing! I think of my public bf'ing as a quiet lesson I'm teaching the world. My nieces (8, 10, and 11) and nephew (6) see me nursing all the time--I even squirt them with milk from across the room sometimes (it's a great party trick for little kids. they love it!). I hope my nieces are growing up to see that mothers nurse babies beyond 6 months, and that it's a natural thing to do.

Mel


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## velveeta

I just love these stories. I hope that you ladies will keep posting them. We don't have babes yet, but I do have a pregnancy comment from my 84 year old auntie:

"Well, I hope that you're not going to do all of *that* breastfeeding all the time like your mother did with you kids."









Why did we turn out bad? Her kids are very strange and non-nurturing, by the way.

My aunt was *constantly* on my mother's back to wean us when we were babies. We weaned when we wanted, most of us at about 3 years old! And my mother *never* was embarrassed about it, either. She would just tell my aunt, well, I am going to feed so and so now. And that was that.









Jean


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## Mollie

OK, granted I am not skinny by any stretch of the imagination. With that said, my MIL said right after DS was born:

are you sure you want to b-feed? obesity traits can be passed on through b-milk!!!










me OMG! you are so RIGHT!!!! Hopefully the higher than average intelligence will be passed on as well!!









I could really get going on this one. DS was exclusively b-feeding, MIL came to visit when he was one month old. I find her on the couch in the living room, w/ the baby, feeding him a WATER BOTTLE! HE was choking and sputtering, I could have killed her. DH had the graceless wit to say "she raised a bunch of kids, I'm sure it is not going to kill him". MIL says "it will help his digestion!" I said "out! OUT OF MY HOUSE BOTH OF YOU!







"

HEHE. they think I am wayyyy weird.


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## mamalisa

I had a lady last night at Target tell me her two month old in the baby carrier was, "just having a tantrum" when ds(2) asked about the crying baby. She finally picked him up and I told ds, "see, he just wanted snuggles from his mommy." A tantrum?? At 2 months?? Whatever. She kept stuffing a bottle of juice in his face while he was laying there too. Maybe he was just trying to tell you he's too little for straght juice!!!

One of the rotating peds told me when ds was born that if he nurses more than 10 min. a side he's just using me as a pacifier. I knew very little about bf at that point, I just knew I was going to do it and I was like, "so???"

I have a friend who knows nothing about kids. I am not even sure she used to be a kid. We were talking one day and asked when ds stopped nursing, I was like, he hasn't. He was 16 months or so at the time. I thought he eyes were going to fall out and roll away. Isn't it time? She asked. So she got the whole lecture, told me that she thought it was strange but obviously something I had looked into(duh) and that it must be ok. Gee, thanks for your approval. I wonder what she would say now? Heheheehe.

Most people don't say anything to use about the things we do as parents. I guess we are prety lucky, some of the tings you guys have been told are horrible.


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## kater07

I finally have a comment to add...

This morning we (my mother and MIL and I) were discussing the gifts that DS (5 months) got for his 1st xmas. I am not a huge toy fan. I HATE obnoxious, loud, age-inappropriate toys. I like educational toys and books.

My MIL informed me that children "boys especially" need toys that are not educational. That educational toys aren't "all that"!

UGH...ok, that's HER opinion, but I don't want a bunch of CRAP! If he's going to have toys, then he needs toys that teach him something. I don't want a bunch of noisy plastic hunks of junk. What's wrong with the sand castle set I asked for and didn't get??? wiffle ball and kick ball and badmitten sets???? What's wrong with BOOKS...the ONLY books that DS got were from my SIL. His great-g'ma got him a bookstore gift card, too.

I plan to get him books too, but wanted to make sure not to duplicate...guess that wasn't an issue!

gggrrr...Boys need junk ... whatever.

I just walked out of the room I was steaming!


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## kater07

Oh, and I thought of one from last night...

Everyone was munching on food and DS was in MIL's arms and she said something about he couldn't have what she was eating. "Maybe when you get some teeth you can have "real food" too.

I said, "he gets real food."

She said, "I meant the good stuff."

WHAT????

He's 100% breastfed...IMHO it doesn't get much better than that!!!

Some ppl...sheesh!

I really wish they'd quit telling him that he's not gettting the good stuff. I don't want him growing up to think that breastmilk is the bad stuff.


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## StarMama

Ok, this may be a stretch for "parenting stuff" but I figure TTC is a parenting subject, so hope no one minds









We are in the middle of our second cycle of TTC (I'm pre O right now). A good friend asked us how the trying was going. I told him that we're still trying, and that last cycle was a bust. He said "Oh wow, its taking you guys a long time. Why don't you go get tested to see if your Dh has enough sperm and to see if you're eggs are dropping?".







What the??? Over one month of trying is 'too long??' and we should go spend lots of $$ to get tests done?? (Can you even test to see if 'eggs are dropping'??). Wow. This guy is a great man, but just doesn't get it I guess. His wife later told me "Oh its ok, my Dh has always had super sperm & gets women pregnant quick! So thats why he thought that." LOL! :LOL

Ok, now back to the real parenting subjects


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## veganmamma

DP is catholic and we were at midnight mass last night and I was nursing dd in the hall outside the service and a man and his wife walked through and the man said " What a desacration!" as he walked through just loud enough for me to hear!! Can you believe it! I was so caught off guard I didn't even say my planned comeback! "What do you think Jesus ate?" hmph! I'll tell him to eff off if I ever see him again!
Love,
Lauren


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## veganmamma

I need to add that I get the good baby questions all the time and I say, "All babies are good babies, they don't know how to be bad." I've always wanted to say how she was always talking back and staying out al night but I wantt o make a point nicely. Once a woman asked me when dd was less than 2 weeks old, "Does she sleep through the night?" (I don'[t think she had kids) And I said, "She shouldn't sleep through the night, she needs to eat often or she won't gain enough weight to be healthy. If she doesn't wake to eat every two hours, I wake her at the three hour mark to make sure she eats, and she's usually very hungry. She doesn't cry though because I'm always right there before she has a chance." She said, "You're a good mother, thinking of your baby like that." HA!! Got through to her!! yay!


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## charmarty

Just quickly lurking tonight but wanted to tell you all this is the #1 comment I get from ppl.

Them:"You nurse BOTH your twins?WOW!"
Me:"No,just the favorite one"


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## DaryLLL

ha ha. I lead a group for bfing twin moms. They get all kinds of stupid comments.

Idiot: Are they twins? (looking at 2 babies/toddlers the same size and obviously related)

Mom: No, we just keep the other one around for spare parts.

Idiot: Are they identical? (looking at a boy and girl twin set)

Mom: No, one is a boy, one is a girl.

Idiot: Well, I can see that. Are they identical?

And non-twin related--

Idiot: (watching me nurse a baby) how long to you plan on nursing her?

Me: Oh, probably for another 15 minutes or so.


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## YiddisheMama

b'h

i haven't gotten very many dumb nursing comments, but when i was pregnant with dd1, my doctor told me i was gaining too much, and i would probably need a c-section because baby would be too big for me to deliver...

delivered a very healthy, medicated baby...vaginally.

second time around i knew better and used midwives in a birthing center. best decision i ever made.


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## MysticHealerMom

Quote:

_Originally posted by DaryLLL_
*Idiot: (watching me nurse a baby) how long to you plan on nursing her?

Me: Oh, probably for another 15 minutes or so.*
How about - "Until she's done" - implies within a few minutes and until she weens herself


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## charmarty

DaryLLL when my friend goes out with her boy girl twins and ppl ask her if they are id she says...UM.......No,he has a penis.....:LOL!
I love that one!!!!!!!


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## I Fly

I miscarried my first baby at 7 weeks. About a year after that, when we told some family that we were pregnant again, one of them said, "It's gonna be for real this time, right?" I was dumbfounded.


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## rwikene

How sad that your family said that!!! "for real", um hello! you were pregnant "for real" the last time too!!!


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## velveeta

Shame on DaryLLL - I peed a little bit when I read your twin stories!









I am just laughing so hard right now (but, I *have* taken a bathroom break!).

Two people in my office have asked me whether this pregnancy was planned. Charming. And I love when they ask me (just like this): "you're not going to do it all-naturally, are you?" No, we are planning an unnatural birth.







: What does that even *mean*?

And I was going to remark that if I had seen veganmamma bfing at church on Christmas, I would have thought, "Oh! How wonderful and appropriate!"









And, my favorite: "Cloth diapers?! Aren't those unsanitary?"

Jean


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## gurumama

"What do you think Jesus ate?"

I love it veganmama! Great comeback! Hope you get to use it soon!


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## morgan's_mom

Well, I get a lot of the same ones as many of you, and I like to answer in as much detail as possible. Hey, if they're gonna ask for details, I'll give 'em more than they want to know!

1) does she sleep through the night?

I answer the same way one of you described earlier in the thread...I say, "well, no, but we co-sleep, so I never have to get out of bed at night...she is able to latch herself right on and I fall back asleep...it's wonderful...blah blah blah"

This often leads to...

2) oh, so you're still nursing? (dd is 5 mos.)

Me - "Absolutely! And I've got a freezer full of breastmilk if you know anyone who's interested...see, I work full time and I pump, and my daughter is a reverse cycler, which means she only takes a few ounces while I'm gone...so every day, I bring home about 20 oz. but she only takes about 6 oz....so I have a bunch in my freezer. I donate it to adoptive moms!"

Which sometimes leads to...

3) Ewwww...you mean other babies can drink your milk?

Me - "Sure - it's *much* better than formula!"

Which usually ends with...

4) Well, I (or my wife) couldn't breastfeed because [insert reason here].

I also enjoy the comments I get from childless male coworkers:

1) One guy told me that two of the "advantages" of FF'ing (his sister had a baby just after me and never attempted BF'ing) were that his sister knew exactly how many ounces her dd was getting to eat and that she and her dh were able to leave the baby to go out starting when she was a week old.







:

2) When I was pregnant, same guy (I really like this guy and we're pretty good friends...I just blame a lot of his comments on being childless and clueless, and I try to educate him!) gave me a 5 minute lecture on how I should get an episiotomy because it would heal much better and make my postpartum sex life better.









And from male coworkers who have kids:

1) When I mentioned that we would be cosleeping (when someone asked), "boy, you are setting yourself up for a life of misery." Oh yes, it is just MISERABLE sleeping cuddled up with my husband and baby!!!

2) "I can't believe you are having your baby in a birthing center. The baby can turn breech while you're on the way to the hospital. That's why lots of women have to have c-sections."

3) Same guy - "My wife had one baby natural (I think he meant vaginally) and one by c-section...she said the c-section was much easier to recover from...that is the way to go."








:


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## morgan's_mom

Oh, and I can't believe I forgot...

This weekend, at a family gathering, dh's aunt was telling us that we need to pierce dd's ears now (5 mos.) instead of "waiting"...her daughter "waited" until her baby was a year old, and she didn't like it at all. She said that the reason we should do it now is because when babies are young, they don't know pain, because the birthing process is so painful for them, but that by the time they are a year old, they know what pain is and the piercing hurts. Oh, and she said they had to get it done because everyone thought the baby was a boy.







:







:







:

I just held my tongue (for once).


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## Plaid

My inlaws have a way of only saying stupid stuff to DH when I'm not present. So he comes home and tells me that we need to get rid of the cats because they would smother the baby. There were so many others, I guess I did a good job of not letting them get to me 'cause I can't remember now! Oh, yeah -- we need to start her on solids so she can learn to chew! She's toothless! And just the other day my FIL told me that water is good for a baby (his two were FF so what does he know). I tried to explain to him that nothing beats breastmilk, but I'm not sure he got it. This is the man who wanted to give her CAKE at two weeks old!









---------------------------
Teresa


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## Eosine

My son's dad told me to give him cheese for diahrea!!! What an idiot!!!! Can anyone say GAS!!


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## MysticHealerMom

my grandma says the same thing. i guess if you want to keep having diarrhea...







:


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## Eosine

I can't believe that MysticHealerMom! Where did that ever come from?? My doctor said that was the worst thing ever because you will bloat up with gas and dehydrate even worse! That would be sooo painful!

I only use pedialyte for my kids, but you can mix up something with salt and water if you know the right ratio. Ginger ale isn't too bad, or sports drinks too, but no milk products!! Just plain juice can make it worse too, I tried that once, and almost died from the pain!

Another dumb thing people tell me is not to pick up my kid right away when she cries. She's only 4 mos old! Screw em! She's NOT spoiled! You can't spoil a baby that small! They need to know that they can trust you, count on you and feel loved at this age!


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## jenP

oops.


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## jenP

Ah, the holidays! So many, many stupid remarks! S many perfect comebacks that you only think of later!

Uncle J.: you sleep with the baby? Aren't you afraid of rolling over on her?
Me: No.
Wish I'd said: Considering the thousands of babies that die in cribs in the US every year, shouldn't I be MORE afraid of putting her in a crib?

Grandma: (Holding baby who is whining because she is going through separation anxiety) It's okay for her to cry.
Me: (taking baby back) I'll remember that when you're in a nursing home and are hungry or scared or lonely. It's okay for you to cry!
(maybe a little too harsh, my grandma is really a loving person but just has this bizarre notion that it's okay to let a baby cry when you could just s easily give her what she needs.)

MIL: Maybe when you start giving her solids she'll start putting on weight faster.
Me: No food we can give her has more calories and nutrients than breastmilk.

Aunt M: My grandchildren that were formula fed all gained weight so much better than the breastfed ones.
Me: Yes, breastfed babies are leaner.
Wish I'd said: What's so great about being overweight? OR: Yes, formula grows 'em bigger, but breastmilk grows 'em smarter.

Uncle B: Tell Steve (single BIL) he can get up with the baby tonight.
Me: He wouldn't be much use to her. (meaning because he has no breasts.)
Wish I'd said: That's the beauty of breastfeeding and cosleeping, NONE of us gets up at night.

MIL: Can I give her a biscotti to teeth on?
(She was serious!!!)
Me: No, I don't want to give her any sugar.
Thought to myself but didn't say in order to keep the peace: Are you a COMPLETE idiot?? First of all, she hasn't started on solids at all and you know you are supposed to start one food at a time with a week between, and biscotti have like fifteen ingredients. And you know we are only going to give her vegan food. And the main ingredient is wheat which should be introduced late because it's so often an allergen. AND what kind of moron would give sugar to a six-month-old?

Upon seeing me bf for the second time in one hour...
MIL: Oh, is she having ANOTHER snack?
Aunt M: Tht's what I didn't like about bfing mine. They eat just enough so they aren't hungry and can fall asleep, then they need to eat again before long.
MIL: I'm glad I didn't nurse, it has it's good points but...
Me: Oh, I don't mind, feeding her is usually a welcome mental break from trying to keep her entertained all day long.
Could've said: Hello? I'm sitting here with my feet up watching the game with my uncles and this is supposed to be a bad thing? -or- She always tanks up before bed then sleeps seven hours straight. (okay so it's actually five or six but these people are hung up on sleeping through the night) -or- Isn't that EXACTLY how all the experts tell us to eat? No large meals, just frequent small ones, and eat slowly and just until you aren't hungry, never full or stuffed? -or- I'm so glad I'm giving my baby the best AND nursing releases the same hormones in me that are released with orgasm. (Surely THAT would shut them up!) -or- Yeah, not that I find bfing inconvenient, but God Forbid taking care of a baby should inconvenience you!

WELL! I could go on but it looks as though I already have!
On the bright side, I nursed (very discreetly) with others in the room and didn't get a single comment at all! (sometimes I did nurse in the other room just for the quiet but let them think I was being "modest." Then DH joins me saying he'll "keep me company", and proceeds to channel-surf and fart! thanks hon.)

Veganmama, LOVED the what do you think Jesus ate comment. I so wish you could go back and re-do that moment!

I am so glad we have this forum, it's saving my sanity.









Jen


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## padomi

My Millie as only a few weeks old. It had been a couple hours since her last feed and I could tell she was getting hungry. My mother in law was holding her, so I said several times "I'm gonna need to go feed her soon." Finally when she began crying (and I let down and began leaking), I reached for her and said "I'm gonna feed her now." My mother in law held on to her and replied "Make her work for it dear." I said "Um, no." and grabbed my hungry daughter. Geez.


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## thepeanutone

This thread is hysterical!

First funny: When I was pregnant, I reached up for something at work, and my receptionist (who was TTC her 4th then) said, "Oh, no, don't lift your arms up over your head! You'll strangle the baby!" I HONESTLY thought she was kidding, and I just laughed and laughed and LAUGHED. Then I saw the look on her face and realized she was serious! She's really very nice, but EXTREMELY uneducated. After a lengthy discussion of anatomy, she said, "well, I think I still won't when I'm pregnant, just out of habit."

I was like, okay, but you haven't been pregnant for 13 YEARS, you probably aren't in the habit now!

Second funny: LONG before I was married or even considering kids, when I quit eating meat, my cousin and aunt both told me that I would have to eat meat when I got pregnant, and I would have to feed my kid meat, or else my child would be retarded!

Third (didn't happen to me, but SO FUNNY) - A former co-worker, after 5 years of TTC, got IVF and got pg with tripets. Perfect strangers kept asking if she had gotten fertility treatment. Feeling that was none of their business, she always answered,
"No, we just had sex three times that night!"


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## RachelGS

Somebody actually told me that I would have to watch out or my cats would suck my baby's breath. I wish I'd had any kind of a comeback, but I was so flabbergasted that anyone actually thought that that I just made this face:









Also, my stepson told me that if I didn't let her cry, her lungs wouldn't expand. He's only 13, and clearly heard this from his mother (who has five other kids). I am very careful about speaking kindly about his mom to him, so I wanted to be thoughtful about how I went about telling him what a load of hogwash that is. I very gently said that people used to believe that, but that research shows that it isn't true, and babies cry for the same reasons the rest of us cry. I also asked him to think about how he feels when he cries, and what it would be like if nobody helped him. Now on the rare occasion that Abigail cries, Corbin is the first to run to her.


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## TrinitysMama

My aunt told me the other night that stuff like Hi-C and Capri Sun are actually BETTER for kids than real fruit juice because they are vitamin fortified.

Corn syrup and water with artificial colors and flavors is BETTER than real fruit juice!?!?!







:


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## padomi

My mother told me the "best" thing I could give my dd while she's teething is Popsicles!!! The best thing? She's never had anything but breastmilk, and I should give her Popsicles?


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## *~*SewHappyNow*~*

Quote:

_Orginally posted by thepeanutone_
"Oh, no, don't lift your arms up over your head! You'll strangle the baby!"
I just can't stop thinking about this comment. How does this woman style her hair during her pregnancy?









Let us know if she is successful TTC is her hair gets messier


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## TrinitysMama

RE: The arms over the head thing -

My grandma said the same thing to me when I was pregnant with Lily. I would give her a hard time about it and would dance around her waving my arms over my head. When Lily was born, her cord just happened to be wrapped pretty tightly around her neck twice!









We got a big, "I told you so!" from my Grandma. Errrgh. What do you say to that? To her, it wasn't just a coincidence. I caused it by raising my arms over my head!







:









Well, at least she knows I was right when I told her that the cat wouldn't try to kill the baby. It's going to take another pregnancy of dancing around to convince her that *I* didn't get Lily wrapped up with her cord!


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## Eosine

Quote:

My aunt told me the other night that stuff like Hi-C and Capri Sun are actually BETTER for kids than real fruit juice










That IS the dumbest thing I've ever heard about food!! What do people think are in apples and oranges???

I hate "sunny delight" commercials where they go on about "vitamin fortified"!!! What a load of &#*^@&#* Have you read the ingredients on there? They add oil! Ughgh!!

Doesn't anyone know about folic acid and stuff in REAL oranges and orange juice???


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## Foobar

I hate the "good baby" stuff. I get that all of the time. I like the comeback someone wrote!









I get a lot of crap also for not BF. I actually had a person in the store complain to her mother how "bad" I was to be buying formula for my child and how I was so obviously doing something harmful to my child! This was infront of her 2 year old son. I was so furious. We all make our choices and we should respect other's choices.

My worst BF situation was in the hospital. My poor girl and I had been struggling to nurse. I went to the BF class with her. About half way through, she got hungry and I asked for help because we were having so many troubles. The woman leading the class told me to leave because "this isn't a place for a baby!"







I left the room with my screaming daughter and I was sobbing.







You would think that she would have been more understanding.

I wish getting pregnant and having a child didn't open everyone up to giving what ever advice they think I should have!


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## mama2annabelle

I can't belive a breastfeeding class instructor would ask a struggling new mommy to leave the class! I'm sorry you didn't get the support you needed.


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## Eosine

Quote:

The woman leading the class told me to leave because "this isn't a place for a baby!" I left the room with my
screaming daughter and I was sobbing. You would think that she would have been more understanding.
OMIG!! I so feel for you! It is so hard to get started, and that's the support you get?? Sick!

No wonder you have to resort to whatever way to get your baby growing! It gets easier with every child to bf, so I hope you have better support after this!!

At least you didn't go for coffee mate!!! I heard a baby died in Canada here because the mom was on an isolated reserve and feeding the kid coffe mate! AUghgh!!


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## Foobar

Coffee mate? EEK! Nope, I did my own research and hunted down the best formula I could. I know breast milk is better...but....

Oh- and then that woman came to my room the next day (dd was 1 day old when we were kicked out of her class) and asked if I was less hormonal!!! Grrrr....

I gave her a BAD evaluation!!!!


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## adb252001

Babe is eight months and is recognizing strangers and a sometimes crys if I leave the room. Well, I usually return and tell her I'll be back or just take her with me. Partner's sister was like you starting bad habits by always returning when she crys.

I said "No I;m letting her know I am here for her."

Also, same person said I wouldn't breasfeed past three months. Well, we are and she takes a bottle with only breast milk. She says it must be a pain to pump. Not as big as the pain buying formula puts in a wallet.

Also the sleeping thing. I just lie people seem to want to hear the bab things. Babe sleeps with us like 90% of the time and SIL says Oh what a bab habit. Well, it's our "bad habit" So bug off.

MammaInTheBoonies I laughed so hard I peed myself


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## adb252001

I didn't realize how many stupid things people say to you when you have a baby.

We aren't giving babe juice and BIL asks why not? I siad she doesn't need it. Water is fine and so is breast milk. HE looked at ME like I was nuts.







:


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## wishful

I LOVE this thread!!

At X-mas dinner this year, I got a few doozies. First I must say that my DH family is just not up to par. My DH is the ONLY one to graduate HS. A few got their GED and only my Dh has graduated (or even attempted) collegeg. That being said...

-From the woman feeding her 3 mo jello salad " She will never grow if you don't feed her food"
--me " From 4 pounds to 18 pounds in under 8 month seems great to me"

-From same woman " cloth diapers will make her cry when she is wet"
--Me " them I know I should have changed her and I was falling down on my job"

I got in the kitchen just as my FIL was setting a slice of chocolate pie on the table for my baby.
-me " H#LL NO!!!"

This one is not so much parenting but I get it atleast once a week-"Is she mixed?" Yes my baby is bi-racial but come on. Some times I just say yes, some times I say yes, she is half wolf or boxer and she bites. That lets them know!!!!


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## Eosine

Ughhh!!! Why do these moms, and your FIL??? feed babies stuff they can't even digest!!! Might as well give baby cardboard to chew down! Sheesh!! Anyone else see ppl feeding babies these things!

My MIL saw my bf baby's runny poo and told me that baby had diarhea! She suggested water or sugar water...on and on. She never bf her kids so she thinks mine is sick all the time!

I just sighed and lied that the doc said bm was all she needed for diahrea. I figured if she did have diahrea that's all I would worry about anyway. Maybe I could drink some more fluids, even a can of ginger ale, but baby doesn't have diahrea any way!

Does drooling always mean teething? My 3mo is drooling lots, and all I hear is she MUST be teething?


----------



## Foobar

Eosine-

Around 8-10 weeks, the saliva glands start working in full force. This could be the cause of the drool.

My dd started drooling around 8 weeks and she still has no teeth.

Jello? For a 3 month old? Hello?


----------



## Eosine

Thanks foo, she is 3 mos, and I can't feel anything with the teeth. My other two drooled lots without any teething! My own saliva glands still like to surge once in a while now too!

And jello is no good for little babies-sugar, empty calories, food coloring, etc, ahghgh!! Yeah, good things to grow on!! I give a one year old some once in a while to play with more than to eat!


----------



## TranscendentalMom

My mother told me that she didn't believe all the hype about breastfeeding being better than formula because she didn't breastfeed my brother and I and we are perfectly healthy. I told her I know a woman who smoked through both her pregnancies and her babies are healthy - does that mean its ok to smoke when you're pregnant? Not an exact analogy, but the point was taken.


----------



## Christy1980

coming out of lurkdom to share...

I'm not a mamma yet, but i work in a retail family clothing store where we have a maternity and baby clothes section. So we always have pg/new moms and babies in the store...here are some of the things that i've heard...keep in mind that these people are STRANGERS to each other...

#1:








old lady: (to the 2 mo baby in a stroller) Oh you are so cute, aren't you? How old are you, cutie? oh so sweet! are you a boy or a girl?

mom: you know she's only 2 mo and she can't talk yet, right? They don't learn to talk til they're older.

Old lady: (angry and under her breath as she walked by me to the exit) some people are so rude!

I had to go to the breakroom to laugh...thought I'd pee my pants!!!

#2:







:
Old lady to a pg mom: How far along are you?

mom: about 32 weeks.

Old lady: how long is that?

mom: (with a 'duh' look on her face) it's 32 weeks!?!

#3:








old fat lady to pg mom: you're so huge! are you sure you aren't having twins?

mom: I'm pretty sure that I'M not having twins, but are YOU sure that YOU'RE not having twins!!!!maybe triplets?

#4:








(we have a wheelchair for handi/disabled/pregnant customers who need to use it....we are required to ask a pg mom if she needs the chair)

pg mom: (to her dh) man my feet are killing me.

coworker to pg mom: would you like to use our wheelchair? it'll make it easier to get around...(our maternity/baby dept is in the back of the store...a long walk)

another customer who was just walking by and overheard: oh she's just pregnant! She can tough it out, right honey?

pg mom: excuse me?

same customer: well it isn't like you're handicapped or anything. you're just pg.

pg mom: how about I attach an extra 30 pounds to your waist and make you stand on your feet for 8 straight hours at your job and tell you you're just pg and not to use a wheelchair...yes sir, i think i will use your wheelchair. Thank you.

same customer: (angry and under her breath) some people....

after that customer left, the couple returned the wheelchair and continued to shop, telling my coworker that the pg mom just wanted to use it to urk that lady...









Reading these, I have gone from one end to the other, from being happy to sad and back...people are idiots and no one has the right to treat someone else so badly or so stupidly!

Sorry to all the mammas out there who people were rude to.









I hope everyone can memerize some of these comebacks and really stick it to the dummies out there!!!

------------------------
Christy


----------



## Unreal

Okay...this isn't quite in league with some of the other stuff...but I'm sure I'll have more to share in the future.

ds2 is due in mid-march. With ds1, I hardly showed at all, but with this guy, my poor belly is about ready to split (at least that is how it feels!!)

anyhow--I walked in the room where my mom was today. She looked at me and said, "oooh! Looks like a BIG baby."

And all I could think about was...geeeeeeze thanks mom...just what I want to hear/think about!! Personally, I'd rather not think about the potential for giving birth to a big babe. If it happens, so be it, but MAN do I NOT want to think about it right now!!!

Not to mention that this comment is from the woman who is still convinced that pregnant women need to eat for 2, and that I am starving the babe by only eating till I am full







:

As for the whole smoking thing--my mom insists that because she smoked all through both her pregnancies and all during my and my brother's lives, and that we are okay (ummm yeah...having 'childhood asthma' that disappeared as soon as I left for college is a normal thing, right? and so are all my allergies and sinus problems...), that she should be allowed to smoke around ds1 and that I shouldn't get so uptight about her smoking when I'm in the room.
Try talking logic with someone who is THAT far gone.....


----------



## Faith

This thread has been so healing for me!!

I thought maybe I was the only one or something?!

Worst thing~~ My dad said that BF is only for Africa, I just whip it out, that I can forget about going on the family vacation if I keep nursing (my five month old dd!!), and a bunch of other junk.

Comeback~~ I told them I did not want him around my family if he was going to say things like that.

Worst thing ever~~ He asked me if I knew what grandparents "rights" were...

I still can't believe that even happened. What is it with other people not being able to live and let live?

Just have to add the ending~~ short and sweet, I took the initive to make up because I just am too sensitive about fighting, and things have been okay since. they now respect we are our own family and have ground rules. then, after a long heart-felt talk with God on by behalf, so-called gp rights were knocked down both by the US Supreme Courts and my state's Supreme Court. (the ultimate comeback~ God on your side!) I just NEEDED that peace of mind that no one was going to attack my family and steal my children...

There is nothing like a total answered prayer.


----------



## juicylucy

ok, from Gabe's docs before we stopped going a few months back

(a little background- Gabe is a slow weight-gainer, totally heriditary and he is healthy, happy etc)...

1. the reason why your son is not gaining weight is because you hold him too much.

2. your son is too attached to you- put a cuddly toy or blanket between the two of you when you nurse him.

and from my MIL (right on front of my poor DH)

"you know you can find out now if you baby is going to be gay whilst you are pregnant (







: )- if I had found that out with you (DH) I would have had an abortion." Nice.


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## CollegeMama

Man, these stories are incredible!
I had one person tell me when I was pregnant that whole "don't raise your arms or the baby's cord would wrap around his neck" thing. I just smiled and said, "Boy, I wouldn't want that!"

I think the dumbest thing I've ever been told is that I should never nurse my baby to sleep.
What a terrible habit huh? I'd sure hate to be snuggled and nurtured to sleep! NOT!


----------



## Xenogenesis

Uh - oh....

:LOL

I think nursing my baby to sleep is one of the sweetest things ever.....


----------



## MamaOui

...........................


----------



## hahamommy

When I met DH, my friend and I jokingly called him Bucket Head ~ even have some cartoon drawings ~ the guy had a HUGE head... so I'm pg with DD and DH's boss tells me: oh don't worry about childbirth, the head is the hardest part to get out, the rest is easy. My response: Have you seen Mitch's head?? I could very well be giving birth to one of them!!!

When DD was born, the nurses openly freaked at the color of her skin and the fact that she had brown eyes at birth: "most *black* babies aren't born this dark!" "She's only gonna get *darker*" eyeballing Mitch ... (DH is 1/2 mexican) hee hee, her eyes turned blue and her skin color minimally *lightened*! (my very very light skinned boy has the blue eyes turned brown)

Gramma told me that she couldn't breastfeed because her milk was blue and the doc said blue milk will kill the baby. Guess what she found in my fridge?? Lots of pumped *blue* breastmilk!

On carrying DD: "if you carry her too much, she'll never walk" Just to spite them, my carrying gave DD the confidence to walk at 10 mos!

"She's spoiled"
Me: sniff, sniff, "really? she doesn't smell yet!"

My favorite comeback, tho, is: "if homebirth/breastfeeding/cosleeping didn't work, none of us would be here!!" (I miss having my great gramma around, who refused to have more children after she was forced to have #4 in the hospital, I must have her spirit in me!







)
At Christmas time (only works on Christians): "If it's good enough for the Son of God, it's good enough for my kid!"

And the worst one: Hayden always has his toes painted; my sister's boyfriend looked at him and asked me if I was purposely raising a *** ~ in front of my 2 year old! If he had asked me privately, I would have either smacked him stupid (oops someone already did!) or I would have educated him ... this situation left me completely speechless (how do do deal with this in front of your kid?!?!) He just wasn't welcome at our home anymore.

~diana


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## Xenogenesis

Paint them black and call him Gothic. :LOL


----------



## hahamommy

But he really, really likes orange!! :LOL


----------



## Eosine

This might be a dumb thing...but i had this science teacher in gr.9 who went on and on about toxins in nail polish...eh? Well, she didn't like make up either, but i wear that myself.


----------



## Christy1980

T

nail polish used to be made with formaldehyde...the same stuff they use to embalm people










I don't think they are made with that anymore!!


----------



## juicylucy

"nail polish used to be made with formaldehyde...the same stuff they use to embalm people

I don't think they are made with that anymore!!"

Actually, scarily enough they are. OPI nail polishes have formaldehyde in them- not sure about others. I know Revlon don't, so I use theirs. And acetone removed is evil stuff- I always use non-acetone. Ok, back on topic...


----------



## PumpkinSeeds

Ladies, read what's in your lotions. A lot of lotions contain MDM hydantoin......

Formaldehyde-used as a preservative and disinfectant, it is a suspected carcinogen often found in shampoos. Not often found in cosmetics because of its overpowering odor. Can cause allergic reactions. Toxic. Other names: Formalin, MDM Hydantoin. Also used to preserve new clothes.


----------



## MysticHealerMom

This thread reminded me of a book I bought a while back - or maybe dh bought it for me - it's called I'll never have sex with you again! by Larry Bleidner and Irene Zutell, and it's about tales from the delivery room. Some of it is just pg stuff, not actually parenting, and some is pretty lame mainstream stuff, but some of it's funny.

From the blurb:

the birthing mom who watches helplessly as a sexy labor nurse tries to seduce her husband

the mother-in-law/MD wanna-be who seizes the forceps and orders the doctor to get hte show on the road

the new dad who suffers a concussion during a crib-assembly mishap and first glimpses his infant as he's being wheeled into the emergency room.

the woman who had to be knocked out cold by a baseball to discover she was pregnant

the dad who misses his daughter's birth when he runs home to change into a suit and tie

a woman in labor who discoers an old flame will adminster her epidural, and opts to tough it out.

plus birth stories from some celebrities

not exactly the same thing, but some pretty stupid stuff, nonetheless

cheers,


----------



## Missy

When I was pregnant with my first child:

lady in line behind me at the grocery store: mmm. Your butt spread. You're having a boy.

me: I'm 5"1'--where is my butt supposed to go?

Now, she had never met me, never seen my butt before (and why exactly was she looking at it?!) so how did she know it had spread?! And, for the record, it was a girl.

A few months ago, with my then 3-mos-old:

cashier, peering at ds in the sling: That's a very interesting...thing. Is the baby comfortable? Does he like that...thing?

me, trying to pay her: yes, very much.

cashier: I dunno. How do you drive with him like that?

me, now trying desperately to leave: Um...I put him in his car seat.

cashier: oh. You take him out of that. Of course. His car seat.







:

Missy


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## JesseMomme

:LOL






















ive heard some doozies in my four years of preg's and nursing/parenting - I can't think of any right now I was too busy laughing the whole afternoon at this thread! Thanks for making my dreary day a little better.

And some of the things said to you mammas is downright cruel! How dare they? god help anyone stupid enough to say things like that to me should I have lost a baby any way shape or form









Jesse


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## Piglet68

Quote:

_Originally posted by Missy_
*cashier, peering at ds in the sling: That's a very interesting...thing. Is the baby comfortable? Does he like that...thing?*
Reminds me of when DD was a tiny newborn and we were out shopping with her in the sling. When the cashier finally realised we had a "baby in that thing" she asked us "can she breathe in there?"








: uh no. oxygen deprivation is an integral part of our parenting philosophy.


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## hahamommy

:LOL Mystic Healer Mom :LOL My DH should be included in that book!! I waited til (what I thought was) the very last minute to make the trip to the hospital. The deal was I would page him regular if I was in labor and a 911 page if I was ready to go to the hospital... we waited and waited and waited, finally he shows up (45 minutes to make a 10 minute drive) with his celebratory case of beer and a box of cigars!!! You had to know him, I couldn't even be angry, he was so ding-dang excited!









~diana







ild


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## chumani

When my first baby was born my dad told me I would regret not "crib breaking" her. I don't want to "break" anything on my babies!

With ds Jonah was 2 mos. an old friend asked if he "could
breathe in there?" in the sling. But the kicker was when Jonah was about 4 mos my dad asked if there was something wrong with him because he was always asleep and he had never heard him cry! Now at 7 mos. my dad doesn't think I need to hold him as much as I do because he doesn't complain being by himself. I love holding my babies as much as I want!

Jonah is my 4th baby and so mellow! He is so happy all the time he doesn't need to cry. My dad was pretty hard to convince about homebirth/breastfeeding/co-sleeping/intact sons/ap etc.

I also had a cashier tell me once "I hope that one is a boy" meaning Jonah in the sling. I have 2 boys and 2 girls my boys will have long hair just like their dad. Long hair doesn't equal girl.

Thanks for the great thread!
Sarah


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## tarablesue

when I was going to give my (then 8 month old) a bottle with formula and I replied "never"...she then asked "why?" I said "because I breastfeed her" and she said "your milk is spoiled now and you've been feeding her spoiled milk for 2 months!" I then cracked up cause I had no clue what to say..... DUH!
Take care....Tara


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## ~Megan~

When someone asks if she is a good baby I usually answer "She's not robbed any liquor stores yet"


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## DaryLLL

Quote:

_Originally posted by Piglet68_
*

Reminds me of when DD was a tiny newborn and we were out shopping with her in the sling. When the cashier finally realised we had a "baby in that thing" she asked us "can she breathe in there?"








: uh no. oxygen deprivation is an integral part of our parenting philosophy.*

OMGess! I have had the exact same exp! Sling baby, cashier, worries abt oxygen dep! Too funny! (of course, meaning she said, can he breathe in there? Oxygen deprivation being big words.)

One time weeks old ds was sleeping in sling at home. Diaper service lady came, and I was writing her a check. You'd think she would know better, CDing and slinging going together in my mind, but she seemed to find it disturbing that I was carrying him around in a sling, asleep. If he is asleep, why not put him down? Well, then he would wake up, duh! (That high needs kid wouldn't sleep alone til he was 1 yo. I guess I spoiled him.)


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## sunmountain

Today in our restaurant, a woman told me she "had" to pierce her dd's ears at 3mo so ppl would know she was a girl







:

I also had a guy tell me he wouldn't "let" his wife bf b/c her boobs would droop and be unattractive. I almost bitch-slapped him. F***king idiot.

My friend's nurse at the hospital told her the DAY AFTER her son was born that she might have to supplement b/c her milk hadn't come in yet







I promptly informed her that it takes three to five days for the milk to come in. "And how would YOU know?" she inquired. My response? "I've had four children and breastfed all of them." "Oh, but it might be different for her" "Maybe, but she has already breastfed one child, and it's only the first day." She left mumbling something about checking with the doctor, I called after her that my friend didn't have to supplement even if the doc said so, because she knew better! They left her alone after that. Apparently this particular nurse had issues with bfing moms.
My poor friend is so mild mannered, she was so happy that I would be her voice









And my heart goes out to all you moms who have lost a baby and had ppl be so ignorant to you. I am deeply sorry for your losses, nothing can compare to the loss of a child. Love to you, sisters


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## padomi

Good grief. I'm at a loss as to why a *nurse* would have a problem with breastfeeding moms?! Come to think of it, my own mother, who is a nurse, seems to have issues with me breastfeeding. She said to me just yesterday "It will be so nice after you wean Millie. Then when you're out and she's hungry all you have to do is give her a bottle or a sippy cup." I asked why she thought that would be easier than just giving her my boob, but she didn't have an answer.


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## DaryLLL

Good grief indeed, Millie. Nurses can be the worst.

And if you have to pop a bottle in a weaned baby's mouth, well, she isn't really weaned, is she?


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## JesseMomme

Yeah nurses are either the best or the worst it seems! I have a friend whose stepmom is a peds nurse. MY friend has been sucessfully breastfeeding exclusively for about 5-6 months now (her first she had trouble and no support and pumped for a year) but since literal day one her stepmom has been saying things like "have you given him a bottle yet?" "Do you have him used to a bottle yet so I can babysit for you guys?" "You know I brought home a whole case of Enfamil home (free from the Dr's office of course) for you just in case" "remember I have a ton of formula in the back room if you guys ever need a break" I mean on and on and on - she didn't hear the end of it! Finally at Thanksgiving while breastfeeding at the table and getting comments on how that must be inconvienent because how could she enjoy her meal my friend just plain old told her to "SHUT UP!!" LMAO.

Jesse








Mommy to Kieran , Donovan and Liam


----------



## sunmountain

Jesse :LOL :LOL :LOL I am peeing my panties reading your post!!!


----------



## Shenjall

At a large family gathering, I went to join the after dinner-coffee-at-the-table conversation with dd (2.5 mths). I started to get ready to bf and my mother says "You're not actually going to do THAT at the table are you?! I said, well, you eat your dinner at the table so why cant she? To which sil mother replied, "Thats absolutly right honey, you feed her wherever you want! (shes my new best friend..)The conversation made everyone laugh (except for mum) b/c shes really the only one with a problem with bf.


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## cosmos

worst: at 2 mnth checkup dd#1 doc says " you have to give her a bottle now, it will help you not feel so attached" I was stunned and said nothing since I hadn't realized there would ever be issue, or discussion about this ever with anyone. I was dedicated to NEVER bottle feeding as my 2 mentors had never bottle fed with 5 kids total between them.

dumbest: somehow I got on the subject of toddler food with my neighbor across the street. I mentioned my child does not like peanut butter. She says "but how does she get her protein?" me"uh, cheese, beans, turkey-you know..."


----------



## veganmamma

I would have told the doctor that was precisely what I didn't want-- to not feel so attached, in fact that I was parenting her so that we would be more attached and that my psychological issues would be discussed with my therapist and not my pediatrician. Well, it's hard to say if I'd have the guts to say that, but if it ever comes up, I'll have it ready just in case. My ped is great and turns out friends with my doula, and I have only gotten wonderful, compassionate advice from her. (I mean compassionate towards my child.)
Love,
Lauren


----------



## charmarty

I am so sad

My girls have been sick for 2 months straight.I am doing everything I can and know how to find out the cause.The most difficult to treat is the constant runs they have had for 9 weeks straight.So I am in tears talking to my terribly toxic mother(first mistake)saying,I dont know what else to do mom or where to go from here.She says welll what about your milk?
Me-what about it?its the best thing for them especially now when they wont drink or eat anything else.
Her-well it can go bad
me-no it cant
her- oh yes it can!
me_no mom it cant.it doesnt go bad or go sour.
her-charmaine,I KNOW it doesnt go sour,but it does go bad.
me-ok mom,i am not going to argue about this anymore.I will say that i know it doesnt bc i have done so much reading about BM that I know I am doing the best thing for them.
her-YA,WHATEVER(she is angry now!)So,what are YOU eating to make them sick?
I hung up the phone.

I just finished e mailing her a ton of info on FAQ and myth sheets,as well as a little note to just leave me the hell alone.

So that has to be my worst.


----------



## Xenogenesis

Quote:

My mother told me the "best" thing I could give my dd while she's teething is Popsicles!!! The best thing? She's never had anything but breastmilk, and I should give her Popsicles?
Hey-hey, what about popsicles made from breastmilk (for an older child, of course). :LOL

<edited to add I'm so sorry to hear about so many having such uncaring "friends" and relatives. I guess this is one of the reasons a lot of us practice attachment parenting, to make this world a better place.>


----------



## kater07

Laila...that's an AWSOME idea. Breastmilk popsicles.

I too feel bad that soooo many of us are getting such crappy comments from ppl who are supposed to love us.

The dumb comments from strangers, well, I just expect that and it always surprises me that I NEVER get comments from strangers.

Katie


----------



## mamazee

My mom told me not to nurse my daughter because she'd turn into a lesbian.

Also, she was watching her while I was at the dentist once. I left some EBM, and my mom said she didn't want to feed her it because "it's a bodily fluid." I left with the babe and got my dh to leave work to watch her.

*SIGH* !

Zee


----------



## Eosine

I just had to say OMG!!!! I am so glad she didn't influence your decision to bf still!


----------



## Gagesmom

After my second child was born, a friend of the family called to see how she was doing. I said, "Oh she's great, she's in her swing right now". And the friend said, "Well, if she's happy being put down then DON'T HOLD HER or she'll always want to be held."







??????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????:c onfused: This is my second and probably last baby, and I'm not supposed to hold her? What the hell? My MIL also said, when I mentioned that I have DD in the sling most of the day or my DS (who is 2) is always accosting her in some way, "Oh, but then she'll always want to be held. You should just put her in the crib during the day."







????????????? What?????????


----------



## Gagesmom

Quote:

_Originally posted by mamazee_
*My mom told me not to nurse my daughter because she'd turn into a lesbian.

I left some EBM, and my mom said she didn't want to feed her it because "it's a bodily fluid."*
Can I just say, OH....MY...GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!








Don't breastfeed your female child or she'll turn out GAY? She CAN'T really believe that...that's the most ignorant thing I've heard in a looooooooooooong time. And besides, even if your DD did turn out to be a lesbian, why is that so bad?
And what does your mother mean by breastmilk being a "bodily fluid"? Is she putting it in the same category as urine or vomit? Mamazee, I feel so badly for you.







Thank goodness you are raising your daughter how you see fit, and realize the silliness of your mother's ideas on the subject of breastfeeding.
My brother said that if his wife had breastfed, he'd have felt badly that he couldn't feed the baby. My DH and I reminded my bro that DH had given our babies plenty of bottles of EBM, and bro said, "yeah, I guess..." Then, when the subject of extended br/feeding came up, my bro blurted out, "Now that's sexual, you have to admit". I replied, "Paul, you don't honestly believe that a mother would breastfeed her toddler to get off do you? Or are you referring to the toddler-who knows nothing of sex? What exactly are you saying?" Bro kind of chuckled and admitted he had no idea what he was talking about. Our own father was breastfed till he over the age of 3!


----------



## Xenogenesis

Quote:

Laila...that's an AWSOME idea. Breastmilk popsicles.
I'm not sure if it would work, but might make a good comeback to the poster's mom who suggested popsicles.

Maybe ice-cream made from breastmilk. Wouldn't separate maybe. Then formed into icecream popsicles. :LOL


----------



## MysticHealerMom

My mom doesn't live close by, so I've been giving her updates over email. She has a large extended family and keeps them in the loop. I send her email and say "I'm doing fine, this is week 18" or something.

One day she wrote back and said - how far along are you? and when's your due date?

wellllll, I thought she could count - but I guess when she was pregnant they were still measuring in months, and not weeks.







: Although I'm surprised no one she talked to did the math.

So I cleared it up - you get 40 weeks or there about, so we're expecting mid May as the due date, and if we're at 20 weeks now, that's half way.

"Oh! Thanks!!"

I didn't tell her the exact "day" so they won't try to hold me to it







Gotta love her


----------



## Christy1980

will someone *PLEASE* try to make these pops and let us know how they turn out!!!










thanks

christy


----------



## Xenogenesis

Maybe morgan's_mom ? She's got a freezer full of breastmilk I heard.


----------



## padomi

I've got a freezer full of frozen breastmilk, so I'll give it a try when DH wakes up. Hey, regarding the postings earlier about why nurses can be so insensitive to new moms -- I asked my mom this question last night (she was a labor, delivery, and nursery nurse for many years). She replied that nursery nurses get attached to the babies and they assume that new moms are idiots and often feel sorry for the babies who have to go home with these idiots. I said "Don't you think nature supplied the new mom with some degree of instinct and also that new moms will most likley have more support and advice than they'll want once they get home?" She said yes, but that nurses still tend to feel that way. That explains a lot. DH and I were told several times by nurses in the hospital - when we went to the nursery to get our DD - "Oh, she's fine right here. Just leave her be." We had to be confrontational just to take our baby back to the room!!!


----------



## DaryLLL

Oh yes, those nursery nurses think of those babies as their babies. They wrap them all up tight like burritoes and pop the binkie in the mouths, tidy rows of nice tidy little bundles. Never mind those little bundles just spent 9 mos in utero and need to be next to a warm body, smelling mom, grooving on the love, suckling and being kissed!

(OT--Breastmilk popsicles? Just get one of those popsicle making kits, Tupperware has them, you can get them anywhere in summer, Walmart or wherever. Maybe now in a kitchen store?

Then as your kid gets older, you can make OJ pops, or yogurt mixed with peanut butter, or fruit, etc. Toddlers think this is cool.)


----------



## hahamommy

My family really likes the applejuice/bm combination








appropriate for all ages (where apple juice is appropriate anyway): sore throats, sniffles, meltdown, nausea, thirst... the list is endless









~diana







ild


----------



## HotMama

Quote:

_Originally posted by laila_
*
Maybe ice-cream made from breastmilk. Wouldn't separate maybe. Then formed into icecream popsicles. :LOL*
Breastmilk does separate, but who cares? They'd still be the best ever!


----------



## elaine

wouldn't it be amazing if real true wisdom was as widespread as bullcrap?

I 'm 37 weeks and have gotten it all.

just wanted to share this graphic too

http://www.milksucks.com/breasttop2.jpg


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## Quirky

Quote:

_Originally posted by laila_
*Hey-hey, what about popsicles made from breastmilk (for an older child, of course). :LOL*
Check out the links here (at the bottom of the page) for breastmilk yogurt, popsicles, soap....


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## rwikene

At the birth center where I labored there were some bars of soap on the counter in a basket, with some business size cards next to them. DH picked up the soap, smelled it and showed it to me....when I was putting it back I saw the little card that said something to the effect of "this soap is made out of breastmilk, if you want me to make some soap from you milk, contact me at....."

I showed DH and he was soooo grossed out :LOL

Also, there is a show on TV called "Girls Behaving Badly" and they had a stunt they pulled on people in a cheese shop....they had men and women sample some "special cheese" after they got their reaction to the cheese, they told them it was made from breastmilk, and then showed a picture of some woman from a foriegn country....oh, you should have seen the people's faces when they heard this :LOL

After the people were completely grossed out and most of them spit out the cheese, they revealed that this was in fact cow's milk cheese.....some of the people actually got pissed off....


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## sadie_sabot

While pregnant with dd, an old boyfriend who we're still friends with but who lives far away came to visit and the first thing he said to me was "hey fatty"









When i started pumping, someone asked if I feel like a cow.









I of course went into a bit of a rant about how first of all, cows are commonly thought of as big dumb and stupid, and I didn't appreciate the implication, and secondly, it just goes to show how messed up we are societally that when we think of milk and expressing milk we think of cows instead of moms. As though drinking cow's milk is more 'natural' than drinking mother's milk!







:


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## Shenjall

When dd was diagnosed with a uti, my mother was convinced she got it from bf because I've had them in the past and I HAD to have passed it to her. She'll try anything to try and get me to stop. And dd is only 2.5 months old!


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## kater07

Ya know what?

It wasn't an ex-boyfriend who called me "FATTY" It was my SISTER.

When I was 4 months PG and barely showing compared to what I looked like at 8 months, my sister came to my house for a Stamping/Scrapbooking party. I had a house full of ppl and she walked in with her friend and said "hey fatty how you doing?" "Wow, you really are a tubbo"

She then later asked me to come to see her at the zoo where she works and I made her promise that she'd NEVER EVER say anything like that again. She tried to tell me that she never said it, but ALL my guests heard her and were once again reminded of what a witch my little sister is.

She also told me, right before I got PG, that I'd be a shi**y mother and that she hoped I couldn't get PG







. We'd been ttc for 15 months at that time and hadn't told a soul. I was sooooo hurt and threw her out of my house without telling her that we were TTC and what a long road it had been already.

How that for dumb and mean!

Katie


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## Eosine

kater07, I'm sorry to hear your sister is such a cad!! I would hope she smartens up when around your child! My mom's behavior is actually even more shocking, and I don't allow her around my kids at all. She says stuff like so and so is molesting my kid and uses very graphic language to say it (not to mention that the guy has never seen me or my kids & my mom has schizophrenia), and says my kid has to hear it. So she is not allowed near my kids and scare them that way!

Quote:

Also, there is a show on TV called "Girls Behaving Badly" and they had a stunt they pulled on people in a cheese shop....they had men and women sample some "special cheese" after they got their reaction to the cheese, they told them it was made from breastmilk, and then showed a picture of some woman from a foriegn country....oh, you should have seen the people's faces when they heard this










I loove that!
I can't believe they think cow's milk is so not gross, but that breast milk is so very disgusting that they spit it out!

There was a time that the Japanese thought drinking cow's milk was disgusting and wouldn't ever try eating ice cream!

My baby is a little over 3 mos now, and my mil is trying to convince me to give dd juice diluted with water. Yeah, like tap water is so great and juice is sooo much better for a kid than bm!


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## JesseMomme

When I first found out I was pregant with my first, my MIL said to me, to my face, twice "Well I hope that you have a miscarriage/God takes it away because you two (Dh and I) wouldn't be fit parents"








When she had the nerve showed up in the NICU when my son was a week old (lung punctured at birth, on a respirator, pulmonary hypertension) without warning you bet it was all I could do to hold my tongue, seeing as how a NICU isn't the place to blow your stack.
Never mind the evil things people can say to you...how about the evil things people can DO to you??
That same MIL called CPS on me 5 days after I gave birth to my third at home because I was "denying him medical care"!!! AHHHHHHHHH! What an abupt end to a blissful babymoon. I was forced to take my perfectly healthy newborn (She claimed to CPS worker and to all of her friends that he was too red (all of my babies were red) and he wasn't breathing right







: ) to the emergency room to be checked out or "else" CPS was going to do it for me. That was one of the scariest moments of my life. Luckily the case is closed on us now, as the social worker realized pretty quickly there wasn't much to investigate. Luckier still, I now have a pretty good excuse to forbid her to see our children ever again since her insanity has proven to be a danger to the very fabric of our family, not to mention she told Dh when they ran into each other at the mall Christmas shopping if she could do it all over again she would (despite not getting to see her grandchildren again). GAWD.
Jesse








Mommy to Kieran (3yo), Donovan (21mos) and Liam (6 weeks)


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## Faith

I could probably sit here and just add things all day...

When my ds was almost two weeks old, my dh dropped me and ds off at my mom's and he left with my dad. my mom told me I was "selfish and just trying to be cute" by BFing him, and "soon I would realize how selfish and wrong I really was..."

She was holding him and he (rightfully!) started to cry. I went to get him, and she turned her back on me. I walked around her and she manuvered into a corner and was doing all she physicially could to stop me from taking him. He started screaming and the only option I had left would have been to over power her, which I was scared to do. I sat down (I was a first time mom) and cried, and he cried to sleep. It was so crazy! Then, my husband came back five hours later to pick me up (waaaaaay late because of my dad). My mom had held ds in her grip the whole time. He was passed out cold like never before (from all the crying). He went for five hours without BFing- a record and I thought my breasts were going to explode!

Looking back on it, I want to scream! I have since been forced to make them realize that we are the parents, not them. I only wonder what took me so long. The weird part is they seem so normal on the outside, but they are completely different people when they are in private.

just wanted to add~ that CPS story was awful! I feel for you!

and that Jesus link was AWESOME!


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## HollyBearsMom

This what my mother said to me when I told her intended to breast feed for as long a possible:

"Honey- That's what kept Victorian women chained to the house"








:

This from a women who nursed all 5 of her children for over a year. She thought formula was the the best thing ever, they just couldn't afford it.

I told her "don't worry I'll still get out of the house in fact I plan to go back to work." The ongoing conversation about pumping was just ridiculous.

To my mom's credit she did "defend" me to any her friends that thought it was weird. She also told me very hush, hush that "You know your SIL plans to wean at 6 months, maybe you should talk to her"


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## Eosine

PerfectLove your post makes me want to cry!! I would be tramautized for life it that happened to me! OMG!!! If I was there I would have taken her favorite whatever and threatened to drop it unless she traded it for my kid!!! I wish you could have tackled her!
She knew you couldn't do anything to her though, aggh! I'm soooo sorry you had to go through that for sooo long!

Do you ever talk to her? I can't believe she would do that to two week old.
I gotta hug my baby now!


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## sevenkids

You poor women have been through so much opposition! It makes me want to cry, I'm serious.....I have never heard such ignorant remarks in all my 20 years of raising children.
I think I'll call my mom and thank her for being so supportive of me all my life, and for setting such a good mothering example


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## captain optimism

PerfectLove, if I were you I would have taken out a restraining order on my mother after that incident. I'm not kidding.


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## *~*SewHappyNow*~*

Quote:

Yeah, like tap water is so great and juice is sooo much better for a kid than bm!
I had a lady tell me this just yesterday. She's a sweet lady who's a customer of mine, but has some weird ideas. She's about 65 or so. We were talking about how when her kids were babies the doctors told them to give the babies orange juice and skim milk.

"We didn't breastfeed back then. No one did", she said. "Our kids are healtheir than you kids were, though."

"You mean breastfeed kids are healthier. Right?" I say. Thinking I heard her wrong.

"No, no. You kids who were breastfeed aren't as healthy as my kids were."








"Breastmilk is very healthy. It protects babies from allergies and illness."

"Well yea, but not when mothers eat junk food and drink and take drugs, like they do nowadays!" she says.

Didn't even know what to say. Not sure if she was saying my mom was a drug addict-junk food eater, or she was, or me or what









People have some weird justifications for things....


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## Lucky Charm

one of the dumbest things said to me was by my sil....when i told her my youngest was wandering at night, so he now sleeps with us (and did for 2+ years after) she told me to get a deadbolt and oput it outside his door, so i could lock it from the outside. i should then lock him in his room at night (no nightlight either) and leave him there, even if he cries. I told her "your fuc**ng nuts". she also seriously recommended i use that as a disciplining tool also.

I was at the grocery store with all three kids. my two older kids are 11 & 8 years older than the "baby". a lady came up to me and noticed my youngests blue eyes and blonde hair and said "Do they have the same father, or did you adopt him?". I looked at her and said "f*ck off" . i really did say that, the "f" word really working to my advantage in situations like this.


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## veganmamma

Perfectlove, my heart breaks for you. I would have called the police and captain is right, I would have gotten a restraining order after that. I would ahve had her arrested that day and never allowed to see her grandchildren again. What a horrible thing. I can't imagine how she must have raised you, so the pain must go deeper than that trauma. I'm sending you healing love************************************* and so is our family, MIL and all.

Love,
Lauren


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## JesseMomme

OMg Perfectlove that must have been absolutely awful!!! I cannot stand for any of my babies crying for more than few minutes, I just could not imagine hours...what your mom did was downright physically and emotionally abusive and I'm sure that's reduntand to say now...she was starving your baby! Geesh!
-----------------------------------------------

Other things I have heard -
From my grandmother, who bottle fed eight children, to my mother, trying to breastfeed me: "Breastfeeding is for the birds!"
I jsut wish my grandmother (who lives states away) could see me nursing my son, so if she said that I could say with a straight face "But Grandma, birds can't breastfeed!"

Another gold nugget from my grandmother: "It's ok to let them cry for a while, thier lungs need the exersise/need to develope" I'd like to say to her "But Grandma, last I knew lungs developed while INSIDE the womb"








Basic biological knowhow huh?

My other grandmother had my mother convinced that she was starving me (my mother and I had a rough first week appearently, I cried, she cried. Guess both of our lungs got good excersise







) and kept mentioning a bottle. MY poor mom! I wonder how she ever managed?







: She wasn't what I would call my model for Ap, but she got breastfeeding me and my siblings down and I at least got support from her for that.

On the other hand my mother and I don't see eye to eye on my "style". She used to always make comments about how I'd "pick them up at the first whimper" or "never set them down". I just shrugged it off as her trying to pass down what her mother passed down to her. But to her credit, one day her and her friend were talking about their kids and it came up how "nutty" I am and her friend said "You know what? who are we to judge? Look at how our kids turned out, and we never picked them up that much!" And my mom stopped and thought said "You know C, you're right!"

Jesse








Mommy to Kieran, Donovan and Liam


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## April 2007

im reading some of these posts and tears are just pouring down my face. i want so badly to go back to the day w perfect love and kick the lady's a$$...and im not even a violent person! i would call the police at least!! im so sorry for those who have dealt w hurtful people... dealing w miscarriages, ttc, etc. i love you all and am praying for extra healings.

-devin


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## Christy1980

*wow* you poor mammas! PerfectLove, that is awful what happened to you. I would've called the cops, too. btw~~did you ever point out who was *actually* being selfish that day?

I'm sooo sorry people have been sooo rude to all of you.









On that note, my dad said to me when i told him i might not be able to have children on my own (long story short, the bc pill shut down my ovaries and I will probably have to seek medical assistance to conceive







i've posted more on that in the i'm pregnant forum) he said that was probably best. I don't need to have kids since i'm not married and I haven't been able to find a proffessional job instead of working retail. But he was sorry that I was so sad about it.







I should be happy and move on.

I told him that i would *like* to be a mother some day and I don't see how being childless is supposed to be a good thing when all you really want is a child.

he said being a parent isn't all it's cracked up to be. (THANKS DAD!!!







) It's hard work with little rewards. (YEAH, DAD, THANKS ALOT!) I didn't know what to say, so I just changed the subject to his 3rd failing marriage and the loss of his job.

my dad is a jerk.









i've always known that i want to be a mom. lately everywhere i go, i see a pg woman or a mom and baby. it makes me sad to think that I may never get to experience that for myself...and it makes me feel even worse to know that there are people out there who can be sooo rude and hurtful to a mom who has probably struggled very hard to have that baby in the first place.























when i have a baby, if someone is rude to me, or mean, or a jerk, or something like that, I'm just gonna say, "you know what--I had to work really hard to get where i am today, and no one, not even you, is going to make me feel badly about what I am doing."

i have to go cry now......

---------------------
christy


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## theatredad

Christy

Arghh...

By what it sounds like you are doing the best you know how and that is great because you are doing better than a lot of others with the same situation. all you can do is plug along and find family if your own won't be there for you the way you NEED them to be.

i wish you the best

ERICH


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## my3kids

Wow, some people just say the rudest things. I am shocked by what even family members say and do. I'm sorry that there are so many rude people out there.









I think I am pretty lucky that my family is not this way. My mom is the greatest although she has never bf any of us. She totally supports my choices in parenting 100%. Although with my first baby I used to hear "well maybe she's not getting enough" when the baby was constantly feeding all day. But I took the time to educate her a bit as all she knew was bottle feeding. I am happy that we have such a great relationship.

Some things I've heard are "you'll spoil that baby by holding him/her all the time" and "sometimes they need to cry themselves to sleep" and the "that baby is eating too much", etc. One of my friends asked me one day how long I planned to bf my littlest one and I told her until he weaned himself. She then replied "before he gets teeth, right?"







:


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## padomi

Here's one for you. You won't believe that a woman actually said this. An acquaintance said to me when I said I was going to breastfeed "Oh, I didn't breastfeed because I get so sick of seeing women feeding in public when all they really want to do is show their t*ts off."

I was dumbfounded and just didn't respond. Such stupidity is best left unanswered.


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## Kundalini-Mama

Quote:

_Originally posted by MilliesMum_
*"Oh, I didn't breastfeed because I get so sick of seeing women feeding in public when all they really want to do is show their t*ts off."*
that is EXACTLY why i chose to breastfeed! i CANNOT believe that someone figured it out.....

amy


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## kater07

[email protected]!

You are too funny!


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## padomi

Yeah, notice I said she's an acquaintance, not a friend! Obviously this woman has serious issues. But at least I've had a lot of fun telling people what she said! It has excellent "can you believe that!?" factor!


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## Eosine

LOL!!









Thanks for a laugh today!


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## Faith

I wanted to really thank everyone for their kind replys to my story.









It is just so nice to have you understand and care!

Yes, I do still talk to her. It all came to it's turning point last year when they threatened to sue us for our kids under so-called grandparents "rights." It is a long story (but they basicially thought we were demented with all our crazy parenting ideas of BFing our five month old dd and actually using car seats...)! I worked it out with them, and there have been ground rules ever since.

I'm sure the fact that there are no more gp rights had a little something to do with it. (thankyou, GOD!!)









So things are okay now as they have ever been!


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## captain optimism

PerfectLove, CAR SEATS! They wanted to sue you over infant breast feeding and car seats! My God! Even if there were "grandparents' rights" enshrined in law, it would have taken an absolute lunatic of a judge to award them to your parents.

I'm glad you were able to work this out to your satisfaction and to maintain a relationship while protecting your children. I don't think my initial post was supportive ENOUGH. You are a wonderful woman to be able to parent so well with such bad examples!

Also I don't think I am valuing my own parents enough. Whatever dopey thing they say to me when they come for their post-natal visit in the next few weeks, I'm going to appreciate them for supporting me in these basic issues of the baby's safety and health.


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## Faith

Captiain Optimism~

I guess I could add two more dumb things! My dad said I was "sheltering" ds by making him be in a car seat, and on another occasion actually told us that at least if ds died in a car crash, it would be quick and not like some terrible disease! Direct quote there!

It is scary, I know. But the other thing is, my parents appear completely normal on the outside. They are nice looking, well-off, have nice jobs, are pleasent to make small talk with... It is only when you scratch the surface that you see what is lurking there. If they would have sued us, I bet they would have lied their areses off. They have their own ideas of what is right.

Growing up, it was so weird... They were seriously abusive (I bet that was obvious) but then they would turn around and give me a bunch of money to go shopping. Lots of head games!

Reading all the responses, I wondered why I didn't DO something at the time, but I guess it didn't seem all that out of place to me, considering it was my mom that was doing it, and that was "normal" for the way things are with her.

Really in a way, I just feel bad for her. At least I am out of there and happy now!


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## Chi-Chi Mama

PerfectLove,

you sound like such an amazing person!! that is a lot to go through and big-time







to you for being such a wonderful parent with that kind of upbringing!!!


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## Eosine

Quote:

Growing up, it was so weird... They were seriously abusive (I bet that was obvious) but then they would turn around and give me a bunch of money to go shopping. Lots of head games!
Hey, when you're living with it every day, you don't know that you can do anything about it! Trust me, I never would have thought to actually tell anyone about all the whacky crap that went on in my house. I just thought it would make people even more likely to think I was even more weird than they already thought I was.

You'd think teachers would at least catch on! I think they're more aware nowadays, and can even do more about it at least.


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## Mary-Beth

Holding my baby a man approaches, looks tenderly at us, and asks, "Girl or Boy?"
I answer, "She is a girl."
"Oh...(look of dissapointment) Well, are you going to keep trying for a boy?"

silence (look of shock)
Then I simply said, "well no."

Then I decided to love him anyway.







:


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## Shenjall

Mary-Beth, did you ever get the " funny, he looks like a girl" (or vice versa). Both my ds have the longest eyelashes and big eyes and little rosebud mouths. People would always tell me they looked like girls. Hmm, how about a simple, "cute baby"?.
People are strange..
Laura


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## Eosine

Uhh, Mary-Beth-are you trying to tell us that the man is your husband or other close relative??? IF so, OMG!!

My sons were alway mistaken for girls...even as toddlers...we were at a friends house when they were moving...she hangs out at motheringdotcom too








...

and here is my 4 yr old in his brothers hand me down worn clothes, dirty from running around in the muddy weather, and with short (but curly) hair....

and the moving guy asks his older brother "what's your sister's name?"

His older brother laughed his head off and ran to tell us what the moving guy asked him!

They both do have the long lashes, and the 4 yr old has the most beautiful blue eyes...but how could he think I would dress a girl like that! hmmmph!








I can only hope my 4 mo dd gets those lashes!


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## Alegria

I dress my daughter in clothes that boys can wear. My freinds son (3yrs) had a dress that he loved to wear, a cinderella "ball gown," He recently outgrew it and gave it to my dd.








When dd was tiny everyone thought she was a boy "because her hair was really dark.







:


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## Eosine

Quote:

My freinds son (3yrs) had a dress that he loved to wear, a cinderella "ball gown," He recently outgrew it and gave it to my dd.










Now I could understand my son being mistaken for a girl in that









I was a tom boy myself, and it was my brother who was mistaken for a girl even though he never wore girl's clothes either! He had this beautiful blonde hair that never got cut right by my mom though! When he was 9 I put make-up on him, and he looked just like Lady Diana did at the time she started dating Charles


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## veganmamma

Perfect Love, You are a bigger person than I. I would have never let them be around my child again. i'm trying to figure out what to do about my abusive stepdad. He never says anything or does anything to piss me off, but i cringe to see him holding my little girl. It would be different if i had a boy, if you get my meaning. I may crack yet and just say that it's not worth the chance. i don't every want her to hear the crap that he said to me as a child, e.g., little lauren says she's proud of herself for being able to tie her shoes, evil stepfather says pride is sinful. won't speak to little lauren all day. yuck. okay geting OT.


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## rwikene

funny about the eyelashes thing, my DD has the longest curly eyelashes (got them from daddy







: ) and big blue eyes and gets called a boy all the time!!!!! Some lady told me one day it was because her eyes looked like boy eyes....(this was me







: ) she said only boys get such lovely eyelashes and it isn't fair....hmmmm

Anyway, my DD gets called a boy even when she is wearing pink or dresses...um HELLO!!!! SHE'S IN A DRESS! gosh, some people are so stupid! I think it is because she has short hair (albiet somewhat curly) everyone thinks short hair=boy....she is only 14mo, how long do people expect her hair to be?????? My mom says the solution is to get her ears peirced, I don't really think that is a valid reason to poke holes in my DD's body, just so people MIGHT think she is a girl....







:


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## veganmamma

Okay, i am so not ready for this thread to die. I'll add something else:
Everyone keeps asking me if dd isa sleeping thru the night!! She is 7 weeks old!!!!!!!!! HELLO????? We just use it as a good time to promote co sleeping and breastfeeding. **Sighs** People are so horrible to children. I'm having a rough day, in a rich neighborhood watching dteached parents... There's one mom here who is exceptionally good with her kids though. She must not be from around here.
LAuren


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## AmyG

I just had my first baby on January 1, but we've already gotten some pretty stupid remarks, and we haven't even really started going out yet.

Several people have asked me if he's sleeping through the night yet. The baby is 2-1/2 weeks old, plus he was 5 weeks early. I wouldn't let him sleep through the night if he wanted to.

DH went to work briefly for an important meeting when the baby was about 1-1/2 weeks old. One lady walked up to him and the very first thing she said to him was, "I hope you don't have that baby in your room." DH told her to mind her own business. I would have told her that the baby is in our bed and walked off. I feel sorry for her kids.


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## Ravin

My younger sisters are identical twins, and we used to get the stupid question all the time:

"Are they twins?"

To which my father would reply: "No, they're six months apart."


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## chellemarie

Due to some spotting at the beginning of this pregnancy, I'm not supposed to lift more than 30lbs at a time. My work requires me to drop off large trays of mail at the post office a couple times a month.

Last month, I was dropping off 18 trays of mail and two large boxes. 2 trays together is 30lbs. I rang the bell at the dock and told the guy who came out that I had a bunch of stuff to drop off and I started unloading one tray at a time. He just stood there. So I said, "And I can only lift one at a time...." He said, "well that's what you get for getting that way" and continued to stand there and watch as I unloaded five more trays one at a time.

Why didn't he just say, "That's what you get for being a whore and getting knocked up?" I couldn't say anything. I was too mad. Keep in mind all those trays contained over $2000 in postage.

My MIL cannot be convinced that nursing mothers can indeed make enough milk for their babies. When I mentioned to her that my SIL was having a rough time nursing her newborn (doc had encouraged early pumping which led to clogged duct and baby couldn't drain them and worked too hard and just fell asleep at the breast each time) my MIL said, "I wonder if she's making enough? A lot of women just don't make enough for their babies."

Uh. She's making TOO much. GRR! Doctors and grandmothers can be the worst. It's a conspiracy. Like the Smoking Man and his friends on the X-files. Creepy and WRONG.


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## Chi-Chi Mama

chellemarie,









I can't believe that mail guy said that to you!!!!! and stood by watching you!!!!























I would have let him have it. what an a$$hole


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## chellemarie

ChiChi...just when you think people can't possibly get any dumber, eh? I was livid.

We're having that particular mailing picked up at the office now. If they can't help when I bring it TO them, they can come get it themselves.

I had another one to add here but I can't remember it. I can lose a lot in five minutes lately. *L*


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## chellemarie

I remembered!

I had my first when I was 19. I was SURE everyone was waiting for me to really screw up so I read and researched and prepared.

One of my nipples is flatter than the other and from all my reading I knew that if baby was really ready to nurse and couldn't get latched on to the flatter, I could start on the other side, even if it wasn't that breast's "turn".

So, in the hospital, the nurse brings baby to me to feed (this is before I knew he'd been given sugar water though I'd TOLD them not to) and he was really frantic to nurse. It was my flatter nipple's "turn". He was rooting like mad and getting very frustrated and didn't have the patience to latch. So I simply put him to the other breast and ahhhh, we were all better. So the nurse comes back in and asks how we're doing and I explained the whole thing and she says, "You can't DO THAT! You'll get an infection. That's why we give you the safety pin...so you remember to alternate!!" She unlatched my son and literally grabbed my breast, pinched my nipple and forced it into his mouth.

My husband just watched in shock. Not only had he never seen anyone breastfeed in person before, he'd never had the opportunity to see someone else grabbing his wife's breasts. Complete horror.

A little while later it was time for my dinner and the same nurse told my mother she needed to leave the room because a nursing mom needs to eat. Like my mom can't watch me eat?! Arrrrgh!


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## MysticHealerMom

DANG! Where's the "dope slap" emoticon??

I heard of a few stories where women with nurses or clueless lactation consultants had their breasts "man handled" and stuffed into their babies mouth. Can you imagine wanting to eat after having the boob brutally shoved into your mouth?? Gad...


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## veganmamma

Um, I think I would have sued. I probably would have been too shocked to actually do anything at the time, so I would have sued them or filed a criminal charge of assault.
Anyway, that sucks, that's why I was terrified to have my baby at the hospital. That's why i didn't. Damn abusive nurses. I'm glad you turned out okay.
Lauren


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## chellemarie

veganmamma...I was 19 and clueless. I'm thankful I was able to have a successful nursing relationship with my son after that trauma. I understand why so many women don't make it with that lack of support.

I must say, though, that of all the nurses we've been through at this hospital, that one and one other were annoying. The rest were absolutely priceless. Last time, I told the nurse I didn't want an epidural, even if I asked for one. When I asked for one (I always do) she encouraged me and reassured me that I could do it.

Imagine that!

The more informed I became, the better my experience. It's too bad I still pay full price, though.


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## Christy1980

when i was born (i was a c-sec in 1980, an old style c-sec, YKWIM) the nurse came in and my mom was laying on her side and i was on the bed feeding, or trying to feed, and the nurse asked her what she was doing.

mom goes, "what does it look like?" the nurse came over, took me from my mom, rolled my mom over very roughly, (she just had a c-sec the day before), and told her to sit up and use a pillow. when mom refused and asked to have me back, she took the bed controller and pushed the button that makes the bed go into an upright sitting position. then she shoved a pillow onto my mom's tummy and then she shoved me onto the pillow...then she forced my mom's nipple into my mouth. we were both crying! mom told her to leave and she wouldn't leave until i was fed....my dad was out somewhere, mom was all alone with that crazy nurse.

as if that wasn't bad enough, mom's nipples started to crack and bleed once we got home, and she stopped bfing me altogether.

So i was bf for 3 or 4 days.

and she didn't even try to bf my brother...she said she just knew she would do it wrong.







:

oh, and why did my mom have a c-sec?? well, her ob went home saying that she would be in labor all night, and she hadn't progressed (1st baby) the dr coming on the next shift came in, (mom laboring alone in a tiny room) and looks at her and tells her that i "flipped over" and he needed to do an "emergency c-sec". no exam or anything!! the same dr told my dad in the waiting room that the cord was around my neck and was choking me. so dad signed the consent forms and i was born under general anesthesia....







: her original ob was shocked and angry when he came in several hours later to check on my mom and found her in surgical recovery.

i don't trust hospitals.









***wow***that was long...sorry


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## buttercup

I can't remember all the advice people have given me, but my MIL who has not cared for a child since the 1960s gave me a book this past Christmas about how to deal w/ a rebellious teenage girl (a new approach). Yes, I know ya'll think there is nothing wrong w/ this gift, but my dd is 6 MONTHS. Is it really nice to put a damper on my enjoyment of being a parent to a new baby by providing me a book about what is to come?

My DH scratched off the writing in the book (signature) and we returned it to the book store for a cook book we wanted. Thanks MIL for the gift









Jenni and Helon 6/29/02


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## Jish

While I am enjoying this thread as much as anyone I need to remind you of this particular section of the user agreement

Quote:

1- Posting in a disrespectful, defamatory, adversarial, baiting, harassing, offensive, insultingly sarcastic or otherwise improper manner, toward a member or *other individual*, including casting of suspicion upon a person, invasion of privacy, humiliation, demeaning criticism, namecalling, personal attack, or in any way which violates the law.
"Other individual" means anyone -- a family member, a nurse in the delivery room, your neighbor, the woman in line at the checkout lane behind you, etc. For example, refering to one's mother as an "idiot" is a no-no. I know this is a fun thread, but please tread with caution. Violations of the rules will result in Alerts being issued. I don't want anyone here to be in that situation. If you haven't read the entire new user agreement, please do so by going to the rules and guidelines forum.

Thanks, Beth

Now back to your regularly scheduled thread.


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## melissaworld

You've *got* to be kidding! So basically _venting_ about other people in our lives isn't allowed? This is the first I've heard of that, and I hear people venting all the time about society, their mothers, their MILs, their families, their...whatevers. Is there a rule that says that negative emotion shall not be expressed here?







: Well that's just f***ing ridiculous! So I guess the censorship continues...


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## chellemarie

I can certainly understand not calling another member's mother an idiot, but I reserve the right to call my own mother whatever I want. *L* Thanks.


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## Eosine

Can we say "some person in a hospital said....
or "a lady in a dept store mentioned.....

Like, a girl I saw yesterday said "your dd's eyebrows are red...she must be tired"









I didn't say "Her eyebrows are always 'red' (right now, like my first ds's was at this age before turning blonde, her hair and eyebrow colors are reddish)"

But I was surprised because I never heard that before! She had just gotten up from a nap! Too funny!


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## Eosine

Oh, on another forum I go to, there is a report listed about a guy in Germany being taken to court over something he said in a forum on line. What he said went against a German law.....even though his defence is he was being sarcastic.

Just to let you know it does happen! I don't know yet if he was found guilty. I'll let you know if I can find it again and find out if he got jail time.

Know the laws in your country! I also don't mind following the new forum rules, I don't really feel censored.


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## Jish

Quote:

You've got to be kidding! So basically venting about other people in our lives isn't allowed?
I didn't say that. Vent away, simply be cautious about how you word things. Calling your mother an idiot is not okay. Saying that you just can't understand where she comes up with her crazy ideas is fine.

I realize these are new rules and we are all getting used to them. I'm asking that we all read the new agreement and follow it. Censorship isn't an issue as this is a privately owned board which states very clearly it's rules and guidelines about what is acceptable or not. People who do not agree simply don't have to become members.


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## cynthia mosher

Hello everyone,

What Beth has posted as a reminder is correct but let me explain a bit.

We certainly don't mean to close the door to venting. Venting is very theraputic for some of us







BUT I am sure we all have it within our ability to vent without bashing someone in the process.

If the insults and namecalling must fly then it is better left to a private venue of discussion rather than a public discussion board such as ours. We have had more than a few situations here where people have come across things said about themselves or others that were insulting and rude. That not only results in us having to pull up and examine the entire course of discussion, sometimes interspersed in the thread of several pages, but we then have to ask for editing or we must remove threads. So we would prefer to have a standard up front that everyone maintain a level of respect for all people.

Thank you so much for your understanding in this matter. We don't mean to make things difficult. We do hope that such guidelines improve the quality of the boards for everyone. If you have any questions or concerns about this or other issues you can PM or email me and I'll be glad to talk it over with you.

Peace everyone


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## MommyDOK

Love this board!
One of the dumbest questions I ever heard was step-grandmother after my sister had a bi-racial baby. She asked, "Is he striped like a zebra?" In her defense, she lived in a cave and wasn't trying to be mean, she just didn't know.


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## Arduinna

Worst/dumbest:

"you have to circ it's so much cleaner!!!!!"

comeback:

it was so long ago I can't remember, but I'm sure I related my personal experience with intact males.


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## Missy

Ooooh--That striped thing--That was the genuine concern of some of my "friends" in high school when dh and I started dating!

And I just remembered: When I was preg. with my first child, my nmw wasn't there for one visit so I saw a new ob. I had already refused the alpha-fetal protein test on the previous visit, but this woman was sure I had made a mistake. I explained that, as a special ed. teacher, I fully understood the impact of a special needs child and that we were prepared for anything, but we wanted to enjoy the pregnancy without the anxieties of false positive test results, ect...

She said: But what if it's something truly horrible? Don't you want the opportunity to terminate the pregnancy?

me: No.

Ob: But, but, but....what if the baby doesn't have a head?

me: Ummm--don't you think that will show up on the sonogram?

Ob: silence.








:

Missy


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## Eosine

I've never even heard of that test!

Striped!!









I love this thread!!!


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## Shenjall

Dont forget the "was this pregnancy planned?" questions. Why do people feel the need to ask? I would never ask them something so personal like 'how much money do you make?'. We got this question all the time!


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## chellemarie

When I was 7 mos pregnant with my first, I was working and a classmate from high school (who maybe wasn't an idiot but just played one on tv







) came into my workplace (Walmart) and in front of a long line of customers shouted, "Whoa! when's it due!?" I told her...then she said, "Who's the father?!"

Um. "My HUSBAND."
She said, "You're MARRIED?!"
I said, "Yes."
She said, "Why wasn't I invited?!"
I said, "We only invited family and friends."


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## StarMama

Quote:

Dont forget the "was this pregnancy planned?" questions.
Oh yes! :LOL We've been telling people about my pregnancy (yes a bit early, but we're too excited to not share!) and we get a lot of people who, if not specifically ask that question, reserve their response until they ask something like "Is that a good thing?" or "Should I be happy?". Which is pretty silly, considering my Dh and I tell people with these goofy grins on our faces! I'm kinda glad I told my close friends we were TTC because now they are all excited for us! Told one friend two nights ago and she was jumping up and down.







Very sweet.


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## sunmountain

chellemarie, that is priceless


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## MelissaEvans

Ohmygosh... this has had me laughing and crying so much today! (It took me three naps to get through all of 'em =) ) It's so sad that people can be... less than informed; it's painful when they're hurtful, and worse when it's family. I'm so sorry for all that's been endured. I'm glad things seem to be getting better. =)

My favorites:
My 41 week prenatal visit, I mentioned I didn't want a VE (let 'em do one my first at 40 weeks and found it *very* uncomfortable) and the nurse chick was shocked... "What, you want a c-section?" As if more VE's = vaginal birth...? Ironically, after 30 hours of labor and 3 hours of serious pushing, the kid didn't move and I ended up with a c-section after all (much to my dismay).

That visit, the Dr did an U/S to check for the fluid and such. She informed me grimly that I had a Grade B placenta (or something like that) and tried to scare me into induction. I really wanted to make it through unmedicated, and knew if I started with meds, I'd end with 'em too. I declined induction... on my chart she wrote that it was "refused." I really was nice about it! And then I went home and looked up the placenta thing... whatever grade I was at was normal for 40 weeks... so being at 41 seemed to be a good thing to me...? Oopps... that makes sense. Heaven forbid. =)

Another nurse at the doctor's office told me not to read so much. I'm the oldest child and an engineer darn it, don't tell me not to be informed. "OK... I'll just blindly do whatever you tell me to do." I think they enjoy the power that knowledge gives them way too much.

A friend was talking to DS, "I bet your mommy picks you up whenever you squalk." So I responded for DS, "Of course my mommy does! She loves me!"

I find it amusing how people who formula feed their babies have a need to explain why they didn't bf. I understand that there are circumstances that make bf'ing undesirable, but my MIL was told by her doctor that she was too big and all she'd do is make milk all day. ? A clerk at some store said she tried, but her baby was always hungry so she gave up after a week. That would probably be about the same time that babies go through a growth spurt and nurse all day to increase your milk supply... it's amazing what education does for you. *sigh* I think people who have less than logical reasons like that have a need to "confess." I think they feel guilty and want to be told that they did the right thing. I don't like to lie, so I don't say anything supportive; but I don't condem them either. I think they were the victims.

Along the same lines, I was talking to my grandfather-in-law... kinda. I've never met him, but he's a great guy. He told me about how his daughter was so fussy at night and he spent hours rocking her to sleep. Then they found out the doctor (problem #1) told them the wrong amount (problem #2) of formula (problem #3) to give her. Like the doctor knows when a baby is hungry. *sigh* Goodness, I eat when I'm hungry... Whatever.

Maybe, someday, people will start to use that gray matter between their ears. =)
~Melissa


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## whateverdidiwants

Quote:

_Originally posted by MelissaEvans_
*. I declined induction... on my chart she wrote that it was "refused." I really was nice about it!*
FWIW - "Refused" is just a medical term used when you decline something. It has nothing to do with how you decline or what your attitude was.


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## MysticHealerMom

That's true - but words still have power.

(Just thinking of Dr. Mendolsohn's words - he pointed out where the power was intended to be kept...)


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## Eosine

I just found out how "mainstream" my sil is...yesterday she had me babysit her school age kids and told me how "I need to supplement my dd with formula at 4 mos AND start her on solids"....

I kinda mentioned something about my allergies to milk and such and she dropped it at least









I talked to the nurse at the clinic and she reassured me bf babies get all they need from mommy-I was just whining about my sil to her, and was happy to get the reassurance.

My dd is on the 75 th percentile for weight and head circumference, and 50th for length


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## MelissaEvans

Oops, I failed to expain that I ended up allowing the VE (sort of a compromise on my part for refusing the induction). Maybe I could go back and sue the nurse. "You said if I had the exam I wouldn't have a c/s." =)

I've been lucky; all three of my moms are supportive of nursing. Though my birth-mom kept trying to get me to be more discreet when I was still in the hospital learning. Heck, I just went through hell and back, ask me if I cared that nurses and visitors (close friends and family members) saw what my baby ate! =) I've even "warned" my mil that I plan to nurse until ds is ready to stop, and if that means while I'm pg the next time and have another baby, so be it - and she's OK with that. =)

~Melissa


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## Faith

Anyone who has read this whole thread knows what a crazy family I have. I just got my email and there was a really nasty letter from a close aunt telling me how messed up I was for homeschooling, and I starting crying. I was so sad and dh is sleeping for the night...I came here and stumbled across this thread and was laughing in no time. Thanks, everybody!!


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## captain optimism

Hey PerfectLove,

You're all right. Don't be sad.

If they didn't have homeschooling and breastfeeding and other stuff to pick on--
your relatives would criticize the color of your drapes. Or you know, something. Anything. Politics. Religion. Basically, anything that indicates how you are an independent adult!

I think you are a very accommodating niece to actually give your aunt something real to disagree about with you.







: Not only that, but you sound like a great mom, too! Keep up the great work!


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## Jish

Do some research and find articles written about how all the top colleges in the country are fighting over the homeschooled kids because their educations are so top notch.


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## dotcommama

Can't believe I made it through reading this whole thread!

Had to add a few beauties that I've gotten:

When my dh told his boss that we were expecting our second child his boss said he was amazed we even ever had sex since our first son still slept in bed with us. Now I'm normally a very polite and rather quiet person, but this just was so rude and couldn't help respond - so I said to him, "We obviously have a better sex life than you since we're creative enough to have sex somewhere other than our bedroom." That pretty much shut him up.

My 2 yr old was hugging me and shying away from some relatives he had only met once before and my m-i-l says to me - he's such a mama's boy. I picked him up gave him a big hug and beamed a great big smile at her and said, "He sure is my boy!"

My oldest ds has curly blond hair and lovely blue eyes - so people always thought he was a girl. One clerk in the mall told me he was too beautiful to be a boy







:

Ok - and now I just have to add some come backs I've been thinking of as I read the threads about people saying that bfing your child causes them to be homosexual:

I think if someone said this to me I'd look at them with total seriousness and say, "Gee, I've done a lot of research on bfing and I've read that it makes children healthier, smarter, less likely to be obese, (add the other 100 reasons to bf) etc. . .but I've never seen any link to bfing and homosexuality. Where is it that you read that research - I'd like to look into it." Now there are going to sit there and feel like a big old a$$hole b/c they realize that they have just spouted you complete nonsence with no intellectual basis what so ever.

_or_

I might say - hmmmmm. . . that doesn't really make sense now does it because 50 years ago there was no formula and everyone bf, right - so then what? all our ancestors were gay? If all our ancestors were gay then they wouldn't have been having heterosexual sex and creating us - the future generation - now would they have. However that's probably just a little too complex for any fool whose going to try to tell you bfing your child is going to make them gay.


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## sadie_sabot

I live in San Francisco, and most of my community is pro- queer (if not queer themselves), so i doubt I'm ever going to ge that comment about bf causing homosexuality. but if I do I know just what I'll say: Is it really that easy? Wow!


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## Christy1980

:LOL

i love this thread!


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## Faith

Captain Optimism & jbcjmom~

Thanks so much!! It is such a good change of pace to hear such nice things!!


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## reilly's momma

and coundn't stop...had to read all eleven pages.







I wanted to laugh, cry, scream, beat sense into people, give lots of hugs to upset mommas...














and a whole bunch of other emotions...






































































:LOL














I thought of so many comments I wanted to make, some I forgot along the way







, others were already said for me. Anyway, here's what I do remember---

to the momma who has the run-in at the post office when pg & unable to lift more than 30lb I would have just smiled at him & said, "You're right, if women didn't allow ourselves to get this way, people like you would never be born."(originally had a different word than people in mind, but am trying to follow new rules







)

to all the homosexual comments I would say as long as they are happy in whatever sexual preference they discover, then what's wrong with that. I already do that in a way, cause people are always making comments about ds & how he's gonna be a ladykiller, break the girls hearts, etc and I add, "But what if he likes boys?"







I don't want society to decide for my son, I want him to know his options are open and any choice/discovery he makes about his own sexuality will be ok (at least with me and, hopefully one day, with the world)

The guy who didn't let his wife bf cause her boobs would sag--"Oh, so you're more concerned about the possibility of a cosmetic alteration than the health & well-being of your child, how thoughtful."







:

I think so many people talk about why they did not bf for two main reasons 1) there was a legitimate reason they were unable to, and they need to express themselves about it because it was not their choice-wait a minute, I'm leading into my second reason 2)maybe deep down all of us know that bm is the best and women who have chosen or been pressured to do otherwise feel guilty. When they see us bfing, they are not trying to justify their choice to us, but to themselves, we just wind up as the sounding board.

Some of my own stories---

My sis, very uptight about sexuality, nudity, etc, freaks everytime I whip out the boob. She's not against bfing, we all were nursed, she just doesn't wanna see it. We went out to eat, she was across from me, & she was like, "can't you cover up or something, I'm eating." I said, "So is he, besides he'll just pull a recieving blaket off anyways."









p's mom, who is very supportive in general, said, "he has to spend time in his crib or he'll never learn to pull himself up, & that's how they start to walk. The second time she said this, I pointed out that they managed to learn to walk before there were cribs. She said, "You're right" & hasn't bugged me since, a good thing since I'd have to fold & put away all that clean laundry that calls that crib home.









And my favorite, p's aunt, who knows everything about anything, esp those things she has no experience with, like bfing (no kids at all). A few nuggets from her---she tells me it will hurt to nurse once ds gets teeth, I explained once the baby is latched on it doesn't hurt even with teeth, that if biting happens it is before or after nursing. So when ds chomps his toothless gums down on my breast cause he wants to play, not nurse, she says, "I told you so."







---had to stop eating dairy cause ds reacts, thinking about keeping it that way, I was vegan for 5yrs previously. Everytime we see her she badgers me about introducing dairy back at some point (she's a BIG dairy fan, drinks like 2gal of milk a week, plus cheese & butter & ice cream) so one time I tell her I'm thinking about not at all and she just rolls her eyes, to my face, in such a rude way i just want to







It's one thing if she explains genuine concerns, but to show her total disregard for my (well-researched) thoughts is sooo agravating





















ok, I feel a little better, but I forgot to mention the ultimate irony, ds is almost 7 mos, has been in 18-24mo clothes for over a month, she's always telling me I must have the richest breastmilk in the world cause he's so big and healthy, how she reconciles it in her head I don't know.

She used to babysit a kid who's parents wanted him raised vegetarian. So when they weren't there she fed him jello & coldcuts everyday & talked trash about his parents in his hearing, she watched him til age 4 I think, then they moved cross-country. She just seems to have no respect for anything she doesn't agree with, & I know when ds is older she will try to feed him stuff behind my back & it makes me soo mad thinking about it




























I don't mind her not agreeing, I mind the utter lack of respect in her words, mannerisms & actions. UUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Ok, better now, but I am going there in the morning for a family get-together, so I may be back with more.....


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## Eosine

LOL!!!!!

But yeah, will you ever let the aunt baby sit knowing what she did to the kid whose parents were vegan. I'm scared to let anyone babysit before my child is 2 yrs because they will give my kids lots of junk because I don't give it to them. They feel sorry for my under 2 because she won't have chocolate? My under 2 doesn't "know what she's missing"!! Why can't some people get that! She LIKES fruit! What's wrong with that!!! Aghghgh!!! Why is giving a baby a healthy diet seen as "depriving them" of treats!!! Wah! So my baby has healthy teeth and isn't over weight! Like that's a bad thing???









Ugh, okay, that made me feel better!


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## reilly's momma

No, we knew before ds was born that we NEVER want to leave him alone with her. She was very abusive to dp when he was a child, & we don't want that happening either. There are other reasons, too, but those are the main ones.

Had fun yesterday with the family get-toegether, surrounded by all the militantly pro-dairy folks.







: Of course, the aunt insists on asking, AGAIN, whether I will try introducing dairy when he's older. I use the excuse (yet again) of my sister, who is allergic to dairy, saying he may never be able to eat it. At least now she's suggesting him trying dairy at age two, instead of in a couple months or at one year. Maybe I'm wearing her down (not).

Note: I'm not trying to insult any of you folks out there who do eat dairy products, I'm just frustrated with this particular situation where people are trying to badger me into making choices I do not agree with. I feel like I'm not telling them not to eat dairy, so they shouldn't be telling me to eat it, especially since ds reacts badly just from the small amounts that get into breastmilk.


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## oatmeal

When DD was six months old and I put her on the boob at a friend's house my step mother said, with a snort

"you're STILL doing THAT?"

Just today I was ending a perfectly nice play date with another mommy and her 1 year old when the subject of vaxing came up. She asked if DD had had all her shots and I said "No" she asked why, and I briefly told her. She went perfectly slient for three minutes while we were walking. Then she asked - what will you do about school?

I asked her if she thought it was bad that I hadn't vaxed and she told me a long story of how she suffered with chicken pox when she was 18.

This is hard for me, when other mothers think I am a bad mother for not vaxing, even though I will be giving DD a few chosen shots several months apart.

Just last night they had on the news about 300,000 military and health care workers getting the small pox shot and right there on prime time TV they said 50 people would have devastating reactions and up to 3 of them would die from it.

Those are adults people. Why can't the medical community ADMIT that babies die from vaccines?

Anyway - thanks for the thread. I was sad that our play friend's mommy thinks I suck... Oh well.


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## Eosine

Hey oatmeal, are you sure she thinks you "suck" ? I vax my kids and I don't think that at all. She probably just thinks it's a little different. Are you still going to have play dates. If she is still willing, I would go!

They said on that article that up to 3 could die, but they haven't yet, and may not. They're just quoting stats so far.

Any way, this isn't the place for this, I just wanted to make sure you haven't given up on that other mommy. Was she just telling you that story to share, or to try change your mind? If she's not trying to change your mind, then it should be fine, hey? Just explain you are choosing a few if it comes up again.

You're not a bad mom, I'm not sure if she was even thinking that, it's just different, and that can catch people off guard by not knowing what to say. Please don't write her off yet, if you have fun on the play dates, then this should just blow over as a minor difference unless she says something different. Will you let us know which way it goes?

Hang in there, people are learning, and I understand why my friend who isn't vaxing!


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## April 2007

ok...i just have to ask/vent this...

Why, when you have a child under the age of 1, does EVERYONE AND THEIR BROTHER/SISTER think it's THEIR child??????????????

I HATE, HATE, HATE it when people ask you if they can hold the baby AS they're reaching to grab your child. Or better yet, the people that don't even ask you, they just start reaching for the child, or they clap their hands as they're reaching for the babe, while saying "do you want to come see me? can I hold you?"

That's SOOOOOOOOOO annoying to me!! Especially with the people who continue to grab for your child even when you say "no, he's kinda tired" or "no, he's not feeling well" or "no, he just needs his mommy right now" etc, etc., etc., etc., etc., etc.!!

Personally, I TRULY beleive that this is one of the reasons so many children are being lured into cars/houses, etc., by strangers. Because from birth so many people are practically thrusting their children into the arms of strangers, or ppl aren't just saying a firm "NO" and letting ppl take their kids from their arms all the time. Or like when an old friend comes to visit the parent and the parent keeps necouraging and urging the child to be "o.k." with this stranger.

YES, Aunt Mildred may be extrememly familiar to YOU, yes, your best friend from college may be your best friend, but we have to remember that our children look at them as strangers, and I personally am going to ENCOURAGE my child(ren) to go with their gut instincts. Even if I know my friend or relative would only do wonderful things with and for my child, if my son is not comfortable, then I will respect that completely, because if I just encourage him to shove aside his uncomfortable feelings of being around a stranger, then how am I supposed to expect him to act on those instincts when a REAL stranger tries to lure him somewhere????????

O.k...I'm getting off my soap box now...I hope I didn't offend anyone, but I really needed to vent this!

Thanks,


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## Chi-Chi Mama

oh Devin, I know exactly what you're talking about...

my family is the worst with that type of stuff. they've always expected dd to go to them/hug them just because they're family. Now she's used to them, but there was a time when she's see them every few weeks. and my dad I think actually said something like "oh you don't want to go to me? little stinker! be a good girl, come to grandpa" once..














I had a nice chat with them... now that she's 15 months, she'll let people know if they get too close. she'll babble at them with this look of "get out of my face!" and will push away if someone's trying to hug her and she doesn't want them to. She has actually hit my sister a few times when she still tried to hug her and I was across the room. My family sounds worse than they are...

anyway, I am mixed on how I feel about dd become more assertive of her boundaries. On one hand, I don't want to see her become more aggressive.. but on the other, it's great to see that she is able to first move away from someone's "advances" and then "tell" them if they don't stop and then physically assert herself if they still try to kiss/hug her and I am not right there to tell them to back off.

and to be honest, it's kind of cute to see her "tell" them off.


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## DaryLLL

Well, as an older mom, I can come from the other side and say, babies are lucious and people are instinctively drawn to them. Except for those that are repelled by/uncomfortable with them. Some people are like this, you know. Some think babies are too stinky/drooly/fragile/boring or whatever and avoid them like the plague. That's kind of insulting too, isn't it?

As an older mom (again) I just love babies, and I don't have any anymore, which is fine, as they are very tiring! but one of the reasons I can't stay away from LLL mtgs, is, I get to hold babies all the time! the moms trust me, the small babies usually don't mind, and I am acually being helpful--sometimes I get the baby to sleep, sometimes the mom wants to look thru the library or get a snack.

Of course, once the babies get to be a certain age, no more chances for me, unless it's someone I see every week or so! Then, I'm lucky if I can get a chance to tickle a toe while they sit in the safety of mommy's arms, after an hour or so of checking me out. I wish more people knew this about older babies.


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## rwikene

I usually don't mind if people (ok, just family) reach out to hold DD, but now she choses who she wants and we don't push her.

One day, DH, DD and I were walking through Target....and this saleslady (out of nowhere) comes up to DH, who was about 10 yards from me, and reached out and grabbed DD from him....asking to hold her of course, but still!!!! We didn't know this woman, DH was dumbfounded (sp?) She held the baby (6 or 7mo at the time) for a min until I walked over there all sweet and innocent and she quickly handed DD back.....

WE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HER!!!!!!!









I also hate it when anyone is holding your baby and you have this longing to just get the baby back, and everyone expects you to give a reason....."she's hungry", "she needs her diaper changed", "insert lame reason here"....like it isn't good enough that I just WANT my baby back period!!!! I got stupid comments like "well she's sleeping now", what I wanted to say was "yes, but looking at someone else enjoying my sleeping babe and not me is making me sick to my stomach, I want her back so I can hold a sleeping babe in my arms" what I did say was "oh, yeah but I have to wake her to feed her right now, I'm kinda full you know







: "


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## rwikene

oh yeah, one more thing.

It really bugs me when those people who you just had to steal your baby back from to "feed her" come and expect you to give the baby back as soon as you are done feeding her!







and they just stand right next to you until you feel (ok, I feel) so uncomfortable that I take DH into the other room and tell him to hold the baby and tell everyone that it is *his* time...then hand her back to me in a few min!

I really need a backbone sometimes


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## M&Mmommy

The worst thing anyone said (and I get this one at least once a month) is "Are you breastfeeding your twins??" I can't imagine why to ask except to judge my reply, and it opens a painful wound every time. My babies were induced, and one was too small to come home right away. So for 3 weeks, I had one baby at home nursing and another in the hospital 30 minutes away whom I pumped for. Every night, 45 minutes of sleep, a feeding, pumping cleaning storing, then the whole routine over again until morning when I dragged my little baby back to stay all day with her sister. I can honestly say I tried my hardest to get the milk supply up and to also be attentive and nurturing in other ways to my babies. At the end of 4 weeks, I still had approximately enough breastmilk for one baby. I felt like a failure. I was well beyond exhaustion. In the end, my girls had breastmilk for 4 weeks and have a mom who had every intention of breastfeeding them for their first year or more. No one ever told me I might not be able to do it. And today, when I hear the famous question flowing off of another mother's lips, I want to say, "No, why?" just to hear her admit she just wanted to know if she should think I am a bad mom or not. I make all my babies food homemade from organic whole foods. They are healthy and loved beyond words. So why ask?


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## veganmamma

I was at target when someone tried to steal my baby too!! This employee was admiring her in a sling earlier, but I came out of the dressing room with her in my armes to grab another outfit from the cart, and she comes running over, arms outstretched, puts her hands around my 6 week old daughter's midsection and tries to grab her. I held on tight and she said, "Can i hold her?" like she had a right and was irritated I hadn't just handed her over when I first saw her! So I choked, "No.." and kept trying to think of the polite thing I had heard in another thread about this problem..."I'd rather not..." I almost screamed! I was like, what's that polite thing I'm supposed to be saying, sh*t, what's that polite thing I'm supposed to say!!??!! WTF are people thinking when they assume they can just hold your baby??!!







: What makes people think it's okay to even touch my baby??!! Trippin... I guess she's not a REAL person until she can say "Get your filthy hands off me, jerk!!"








Lauren


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## HotMama

We are not meant to be the sole carrier of our little ones...ask your back! I love all the sharing of dd and she thrives on it. If she's not into the person (or I don't like their vibes) she stays with me or dh. I've been deeply effected by The Continuum Concept and feel dd needs to be in arms most of the time at this age and I need the support of my community to do that.


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## Chi-Chi Mama

Tamara, that is a good point...

I think the venting here is directed towards those people who grab babies/expect to hold babies, etc.

i don't mind other people holding my baby. I know they enjoy it and it's good for dd.. I just don't appreciate people snatching her from me and expecting her to be happy about it all the time..

I've been meaning to read the continuum concept.. thanks for reminding me


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## Chi-Chi Mama

just wanted to send you a cyber









you sound like a wondeful mama!


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## MysticHealerMom

Continuum Concept is FABULOUS - they have a website








s to all

cheers!


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## chellemarie

What if the baby puts her arms out to a stranger and grunts and fusses for the stranger to pick her up?

Now, keep in mind I knew the family...my mother babysat the baby's mother years ago.

I was sitting behind them at church and before things got started, baby and I exchanged smiles and coos and such. As we were sitting there, though, and baby had sat with dad and mom and grandma and was generally getting bored with the whole situation, she turned to me and put her hands out...and grunted, bounced, fussed. Should I have ignored the baby?

The baby did come back to me and then went to grandma and back to me one more time while we were there. She stayed happy and content through the service this way. I think people around us (my family included) thought it was creepy, but I'm not creepy! Lots of babies like me! lol

When I worked at walmart and a parent was struggling to find something and trying to hold baby, too, I often offered to hold baby...since offering to dig through a purse was probably NOT the right thing. Some moms acted like I had a third head or something. Sheesh. I was just trying to be helpful!


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## M&Mmommy

Chi-Chi Mama, bless you for your words, and I received the hug. I know I am defensive about the whole topic, and feeling accepted helps me heal.

Love to you


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## April 2007

your post is bringing tears to my eyes

I'm so sorry for judging you. I have never met you, and have never judged YOU personally, but I have judged many, many, MANY women who do not breastfeed their babies. I DO know that the majority of women who don't breastfeed, don't do it because they couldn't, but your post has reminded me that there are women who desperatly wanted to breastfeed their children, and I'm so embarassed to admit that I have not once thought that the mother with bottles in her diaper bag for her baby may have tried for days, weeks, even months to breastfeed, but it did not work out.

I'm sorry for all the other judgemental people who have hurt you and thank you for reminding me that breastfeeding is a gift which many strive to give themselves and their children, but not everyone gets the opportunity to have it as easy as I have.


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## laralou

M&Mmommy, I don't think everyone who ask you is necessarily going to judge you. In fact, I think people are more shocked when someone successfully bfs twins because it can be harder than bfing a singleton. I think at least some people are asking because they just don't see how it could be done.

So don't be so hard on yourself. You are not alone. You did the best that you could. If you keep beating yourself up over what you can't change, you won't be able to be in the present and enjoy each moment with your young ones. Like most advice I give, I could use a dose of this myself. I am always beating myself up for not being able to be the perfect mom to my infants because there are two of them. I get down on myself and whine that it isn't fair to have them at the same time, because it is impossible to do it "right" - when I should be thanking my lucky stars that I have these 2 fabulous girls in my home, kwim?

I quit looking down on anyone for how they parent because I have had to break too many rules myself. But it still hurts when the woman carrying her baby in the sling doesn't return my smile, I think, because my babies are in a stroller or are sucking a pacie or a bottle. But that's just my karma paying me back for all the times I judged others unfairly.


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## kater07

What happened to this thread?

Sorry, for the negativity, but I thought this was supposed to be a funny, pissed off, duh thread, and now it's suddenly a discussion.








:

Tonight a person I was talking to told me that the time wasn't going fast enough with her new baby. She has been complaining about how crappy it is having an infant in the house since before the child was born.

So, I think that was a stupid/dumb thing to say to me, since I LOVE my infant and can't stop tearing up at how fast time has flown and how soon he will be walking and trying to get away from me.









Right now all he wants is me and she's wishing away the time. This is her LAST kid. So Sad...


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## April 2007

hmmm...lemme try and think of something funny/stupid, someone has said to me.

O.k...here's this annoying thing I get whenever I go out with noah in the sling....

You know how people talk and pretend they are are your child talking to you? Like they are looking at your babe, but talking to you ina a baby voice pretending they are your child speaking to you. Anyway, whenever we go to church, or my mom's work and noah's in the sling, people always do that and they always say stuuf like "hey, tell my mama I'm too big for this dumb ole' sling. Tell her I'm getting squished and I'm to big. Tell her I don't like this stupid thing."

This is getting SO FREAKIN ANNOYING!! It's like, "hello??!?!" I know my son better than any of you, and if he didn't like it, he wouldn't be so dang content in it! I mean, my son is sitting in it, warm and cozy, he can sit up and see the world but still has the safety and protection and comfort of his mama holding him, and he smiling and happy!! SO why do you people just assume that because the sling forms to his body that he hates it????

I wish someone who carries a toddler in a sling would walk by thems someday so they could see and get used to the fact that I'm gonna be carrying him like this for a loooooong time so they just need to get over it!

o.k.I hope that lifted the thread a little, lol


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## sunmountain

:LOL Blessed!

I have btdt, here's what I say, "that's a dumb thing to say to my son/daughter".

no really, it works. teehee...


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## HollyBearsMom

This is more of reverse situation:

I was out for dim sum this weekend in a huge place. I saw a women breast feeding her child at the table so I gave her a big smile and a kind of subtle thumbs up. She got so embarressed/uncomfortable/annoyed. I felt terrible! I just remembered all the negative looks I used to get when I was out in public so I wanted to show my support to her. I think somehow I made it worse for her by acknowleging what she was doing rather then just ignoring her. It made me feel sad that some how it was OK to nurse in public as long as everyone pretended it wasn't happening....


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## laralou

OT: Even if this is a light thread, there is nothing wrong with encouraging a hurting mommy in it. In fact I think to ignore her pain would be to lack compassion.









Back on topic:

Devin! People do that to me all the time. I hear, "Mommy, we are suffocating!" I just glare and walk off usually.

Ok, here is the thing I hate the most:

My mom constantly says how much the babies love her. If they start cooing or stop crying, she'll say, "They know their Grammie is here." I want to say, "They don't even know you lady!" but that will just make her worse. Normal people talk about how cute the babies are and how much they love them, not how much the babies love that person- that is weird and emotionally needy. Like she is trying to say it until it comes true.

Another thing my mother does is to say that they are hungry, but then not want to give them back. I just say, "Shame on you, Grandma!" which makes her hand them over. My dad used to say, "She's hungry. Why don't you feed her?" I finally yelled at him and told him he could never hold her again if he said that. If she is hungry, they should hand her over as soon as my hands are free.


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## Shenjall

Everytime the temp drops here (like every day..) my mother will call me in the am and ask "Did you dress those kids warm?! Hat? Mitts? What about a scarf? Did you put a scarf on them?" Whaddya mean a scarf? When its -40 dont they wear shorts? lol And the "did you feed them breakfast?" question as well. I used to get so offended by these questions, now I just give her sarcastic remarks. You think she would stop, but she still does it. Always has, probably always will. Gotta love her


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## M&Mmommy

Dearest friends, I have read and re-read the replies to my post and even had some healing tears right here at my desk at work (that'll show'em I'm a professional, LOL!) Heartfelt thanks for acknowledging what was admittedly a cry for help.

I have so much faith in all of us mothers and fathers. I know for a fact that we are all doing our best and that we truly want to support each other. You have shown this to me again. Thank you and bless you.

NOW~ as I agree with the idea of lightness for this thread ~ here's something a mother of twins said to me:

Other mom: Oh, twins! Are they identical?
Me: Yes, they are identical.
Other mom: Oh! Are they a boy and a girl?
Me: No, they are identical, EVEN under their nappies!!

LOL!

Thanks for letting me join the fun


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## rwikene

My nephew lived with us the year he was 3 until he was 4.....we didn't have any other children at the time....

anyway, my mom would ALWAYS get on my case about him not having a coat on. We live in the northwest, it doesn't get THAT cold her, but even when it was 50 degrees out she would ask why he wasn't wearing a jacket....

here was my reason:

It would be such a pain to put a jacket on him to walk from the house to the car, take it off so we could put him in the car seat, put it back on when we got to her house, walk from the car to the house and take it off again.....







:

we always had his jacket with us, in the car, if he was cold he would ask for it and we would get it for him. But it wasn't like he was dressed in summer clothes, he was in long pants and a sweatshirt.....







:


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## Unreal

Okay, here is one that everyone without TV should giggle over....
It doesn't specifically have to do with parenting, but I know things like this didn't happen before ds was born....

At one point, when ds was 2, we moved to northern Indiana, land of *gasp* lake-effect snow (umm yeah, whatever they say...). We didn't have cable at the house and the antenna reception was limited to PBS (amazing we survived, isn't it??).

Anyhow, my mom, being overly paranoid as I suppose most moms are (myself included), would call every day to make sure we were okay, because she was sure we wouldn't know what the weather was outside.
She was dead-set on the idea that without the weather channel, we wouldn't know to put on our coats or maybe even just stay home rather than going out.
It didn't even help when I pointed out that we did have windows and that I could indeed see both the sky and the outside thermometer.







:


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## Unreal

doh....double post....silly server errors...


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## MysticHealerMom

this is kinda silly, not so much dumb

we have a web server at home and a webcam (used to be pointed at the hamster, now dh watches the cats watch the birds - it's just badwidth for bandwidths sake, geeks







: )

ANYWAY - he figured he'd set up a cam to point at the babe so he could watch him/her while he was at work all day. Well, that sounds nice, but I asked him, is it a portable camera? He said, no, I'll point it at the crib. Er, what crib? And the kiddo won't be sitting around in one spot. They won't like it and I won't be doing that - at first I was worried he expected me to leave the little guy just sitting there on camera for him!!







- then he got the idea that just cuz they don't walk, doesn't mean they'll just lie around in one spot all day - OH! He was talking audio and all this weird high tech stuff - no thanks, but that's another argument...

So, since there's a cam pointing at the cats, I'll prly take the bundle to the camera a few times a day for him to see at work.

He's so silly, but he is coming around







Bless his fuzzy little heart









Lori


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## M&Mmommy

Dearest friends, I have read and re-read the replies to my post and even had some healing tears right here at my desk at work (that'll show'em I'm a professional, LOL!) Heartfelt thanks for acknowledging what was admittedly a cry for help.

I have so much faith in all of us mothers and fathers. I know for a fact that we are all doing our best and that we truly want to support each other. You have shown this to me again. Thank you and bless you.

NOW~ as I agree with the idea of lightness for this thread ~ here's something a mother of twins said to me:

Other mom: Oh, twins! Are they identical?
Me: Yes, they are identical.
Other mom: Oh! Are they a boy and a girl?
Me: No, they are identical, EVEN under their nappies!!

LOL!

Thanks for letting me join the fun


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## M&Mmommy

Dearest friends, I have read and re-read the replies to my post and even had some healing tears right here at my desk at work (that'll show'em I'm a professional, LOL!) Heartfelt thanks for acknowledging what was admittedly a cry for help.

I have so much faith in all of us mothers and fathers. I know for a fact that we are all doing our best and that we truly want to support each other. You have shown this to me again. Thank you and bless you.

NOW~ as I agree with the idea of lightness for this thread ~ here's something a mother of twins said to me:

Other mom: Oh, twins! Are they identical?
Me: Yes, they are identical.
Other mom: Oh! Are they a boy and a girl?
Me: No, they are identical, EVEN under their nappies!!

LOL!

Thanks for letting me join the fun


----------



## M&Mmommy

Dearest friends, I have read and re-read the replies to my post and even had some healing tears right here at my desk at work (that'll show'em I'm a professional, LOL!) Heartfelt thanks for acknowledging what was admittedly a cry for help.

I have so much faith in all of us mothers and fathers. I know for a fact that we are all doing our best and that we truly want to support each other. You have shown this to me again. Thank you and bless you.

NOW~ as I agree with the idea of lightness for this thread ~ here's something a mother of twins said to me:

Other mom: Oh, twins! Are they identical?
Me: Yes, they are identical.
Other mom: Oh! Are they a boy and a girl?
Me: No, they are identical, EVEN under their nappies!!

LOL!

Thanks for letting me join the fun


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## windipixi

i was pregnant and a lady says "I have one bit of advise to you, DON"T YOU HOLD THAT BABY when its born. My daughter held her first child and that baby just always wanted to be held. With her second she knew better".....uh....i stood there for a few minutes in disbelief after she left.

the really amazing thing is that someone else later asked my husband "you don't hold that baby do you?" yes of course i hold me baby he says, a little confussed..the woman rolled her eyes and said "you young parents are going to ruin your baby".....

i never knew......


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## MysticHealerMom

Quote:

"you young parents are going to ruin your baby".....
well, the sociological studies just don't bear that out. that sort of behavior is what makes kids not trust and turn away from their parents. and when they're teens you're wondering - why don't they trust me? and where are they going? well, if you weren't there for them in the beginning, how could they want to be there for you now? *grumble*

had to share....


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## sadie_sabot

> _Originally posted by kater07
> "Tonight a person I was talking to told me that the time wasn't going fast enough with her new baby. She has been complaining about how crappy it is having an infant in the house since before the child was born. "
> 
> I know what you mean! On the other hand, how abut the moms who say "oh, they're so great when they're little" as though they're no fun after that! I'm especially thinking of the woman who said that to me when I was 9 months pg, who's baby was 5 months old!
> 
> dd is 3 months old, but I have NO doubt I will continue to enjoy her!
> (edited 'cause I can't figure out how to properly quote)_


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## Christy1980

edited to erase my double post...

i hate servers!!


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## Christy1980

A comment made by a child-less co-worker to me after i told her that my ovaries shut down:

her: That's great!
me: WHY??
her: now you don't have to spend any money on birth control.
me:








her: What?
me: but i WANT kids.
her: WHY?? all they do is mess up everything and cost you more money. count your blessings if you can't have kids!








:

people are weird....but as you can see, we are ttc anyway, so we'll see what happens.


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## blueberrymamma

I can't wait to read this entire thread when I have the time.. I bet I could think of much unwanted & freaky advice.

I was very unhappy w/ our dentist when our dd then 2 1/4 went for her first check up.. He asked if she was still on the bottle & I told him she was bfing & he said she needs to be weaned immediatey so she doesn't get buck teeth & tooth decay like extended bottlefed babes.

I was incredibly insulted at a dentist giving advice on when to wean. I felt it wasn't his place for that & found a new dentist.


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## kater07

GGGRRR...I got the "It's not hurting him to cry!" line this weekend. I was soooooo mad









The lady holding him DID give him back as soon as I said, "oh, but he's hungry!"


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## mamacrab

> _Originally posted by laralou_
> *My mom constantly says how much the babies love her. If they start cooing or stop crying, she'll say, "They know their Grammie is here." I want to say, "They don't even know you lady!" but that will just make her worse. Normal people talk about how cute the babies are and how much they love them, not how much the babies love that person- that is weird and emotionally needy.
> 
> (end quote)
> 
> Yes! That is my MIL to a tee! I always wondered why it bothered me so much. It *is* weird and emotionally needy. I swear, part of the reason I had 2 kids was so that MIL could take her laser-intensity off of dd and at least spread it around to ds. sigh...*


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## jenP

deleted - already posted this remark. sorry!


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## MelissaEvans

M&Mommy... I think I would have been one of those annoying moms who would ask too - but it would be out of curiosity. I know it's physically possible, but the whole positioning and such I'd always had questions about. I'd want to know how it was managed. Perhaps some of the moms were curious like that too? I had a really rough time in the beginning nursing DS, I know I wouldn't have made it if he had a sibling at birth! Congrats to you for making it for as long as you did! Your little ones got the great colsturm (sp) and have a mommy who loves them. =)

One of the newest questions coworkers and friends have asked is "when do you plan on weaning him?" I don't think they're implying he shouldn't be nursing now (he's only 4mo), but they're uncomfortable with the idea of extended bfing. Something I'd like to say is, "what difference to you is it what I do with my boobs?" But they're usually a friend of some sort, so I can't be too rude. =)

~Melissa


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## windipixi

["It's not hurting him to cry!">>>>>

..... my mom told me the same thing something like "it's great exercise for his lungs".....i asked her if she thought bleeding was good exercise for the veins....


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## sunmountain

windipixi! :LOL


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## Alegria

I'd love to say "Hmm, Maybe I'll make you cry and see if it hurts?"
My mom said the same thing about how it will make her lungs strong. Someone must have told them the same thing but duh didn't think about it?







:


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## JesseMomme

mamitorres, I have a reply in here somewhere amongst the 100 pages of replies LOL that address just that very thing about the lungs needing excersize and that's why "Crying is good for them" whatta bunch of hooey!!


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## StarMama

Ok can I add another "not quite a parent yet" story? Some of these posts are lighthearted, and some serious... I don't want to make light of any of the serious ones, but thought it would be funny to add a goofy one!

This one actually happened last night. Somehow a conversation rolled around to maternity clothes, and our good friend told us "Please tell me you're not going to wear all *that* stuff!". I asked him "So should I wrap myself in sheets when I've got a big pregnant belly?" He told me I had a good point. I also told him that it will be NICE to be able to tell the world I'm pregnant when I'm showing! So its a goofy one, but I don't understand why anyone would have something against maternity clothes??


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## abigailvr

This thread has made me laugh and cry! Sometimes at the same post. I don't have any gems as funny (or sad) as you guys. I did get a lot of "are you sure you're not having twins?" and "are you sick of being pregnant yet?" I think I answered a few times "no, I'm just sick of being asked that!" (DS was 12 days "late.")

I have kind of a funny story though. At my 41 week appointment my OB offered me prostaglandin gel and I said no. I could tell he thought I should have it. Then at my next appointment (the following Monday) he offered it again. I had until Thursday (when I'd be 42 weeks) to deliver in the birthing center, after that I'd have to go to the hospital. He said it was "possible" that I would have the baby by Thursday, but I could tell that he didn't think it was likely. Tuesday morning I woke up in labor and Tuesday night at 9pm when he came in to catch my baby he took one look at me and said, "you really didn't want to be induced, huh?" I was too deep into my contractions to say anything, but I wish I could have stood up on the bed and yelled at him, "THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU FOR A WEEK!" Heh. Other than that he was a nice guy, and up until that point he had been pretty non-interventionist. Can't win 'em all!

Another story, my mom and I were out to lunch with DS (7 months) the other day. She was having a sandwich with avocado, which I had offered to him once, so she wanted to give him a piece. I said sure. He didn't seem that interested in it, so I said, "don't give him anymore," and she said, "why not?" I said, "becuase I'm the mama!" She gave it to him anyway. I was fuming. She looked at me and looked at DS and said to him, "I hope your mom lets me see you again after that. At least she realized that she ticked me off and that I wouldn't stand for it.


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## nc mama

Well when my sister had her first child, (I was childless at the time) I made a big deal out of telling her that she should just let him CIO and if his diaper was dry and she had just fed him he was fine and to leave him in his crib. I also gave her a hard time about nursing him past a year. Well when I had my daughter, I nursed her on demand, she slept with us, and I wouldn't dare let her CIO. She also nursed until she was 2 1/2. So much for all my wise advice!!


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## Bladestar5

I gained about 40lbs or more with my dd, but I was always underweight before I got pregnant the first time. I had a real fear of gaining too much weight, and I was shopping in this 2nd hand store, and the obnoxious woman there had the nerve to act like I was SO huge, and asked if I was having twins or just a big baby. I was so appalled. Then she went on to tell me how a heavy friend of hers is so pretty now that she is pregnant, and how she told her friend "Oh, my gosh you are so pretty." How RUDE!! I am so sure her friend appreciated that she thought she was ugly before. I don't remember how she worded it, but she had mentioned that her friend was homely before pregnancy.
I love it when non-parents tell us not to EVER yell at the kids! Everyone loses it every now and then.
I had a low milk problem when I was nursing ds, and the doc refused to give me anything to increase my pathetically low supply, so I had to give him formula. Doctors are so mean sometimes. Try not to take it out on the moms who had to supplement or bottlefeed.


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## laralou

nc mama, I bet your sister has had a time giving you heck over that!


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## mama joy

My ds never crawled. He did a cute little butt scoot and then went to walking. My MIL told me that I needed to teach him to crawl or he would never learn to read.
He started reading at age 2!


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## Eosine

Hey, this thread really helped me out this weekend! I went to a baby shower with lots of women, and expected some to try to yank my dd away without giving her back when she cried immediately!
Two did, and my dd did cry as soon as she was grabbed, but after reading what others went through here, I had no problem yanking her back! One tried to tell me to get lost because my "hovering" wasn't allowing my dd to be distracted, but I stood my ground! I managed to keep my dd very happy and was able to enjoy the shower!

There were a few I tried to let hold my dd that had met her before, and they were great about letting me have her back when she cried!

Thanks everybody!


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## MysticHealerMom

Hey, that's cool. I can't believe anyone would take your kid then tell you you can't "hover", wtf? Glad it worked out







inky


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## Christy1980

yeah, why WOULDN'T you "hover?" It's your baby. I'd hover if it was my baby. what a silly thing to say!


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## Eosine

Thanks guys! The support here for stuff like that is a real blessing!








My friend had warned that her MIL was very strong willed, and that's who grabbed my dd from me first. I just stuck to my rights as mommy, and saved my dd as soon as I could! She needed some nursing, and then was fine


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## tabitha

i have had way too many "dumb moments" with both family and _complete_ strangers... goodness, people are nuts sometimes.

i was walking out of a hardware store with 6mos ds in arms, asleep, and...

Woman:"that's when they're at their best, when they can't yap at you!"

Me: "i'm sorry, but i don't agree"... as i turn my back on her

Woman "well, mine would just yap and yap and drive me crazy!"

why did this woman choose to have children?

just today i had a crazy moment with a complete stranger...

i was in the natural grocery getting homeopathic remedies for ds's earache, and i had him in a sling. he was asleep and i'd already put the remedy in his ear so i had a little cotton over the ear and was holding it there as i walked around the store. this older woman comes up to me, and...

woman: you're hurting her ear!!!!
me: excuse me?
woman: you can't press on her ear like that you're hurting your baby!
me: are you aware that you are giving unsolicited advice to a complete stranger?
woman: you're pressing her ear down and it's... blah blah
me: that's how little you know about my *son*. you don't even know the sex of my child and you're judging me? please, lady, leave me alone.
woman: i think you have anger issues, people don't just snap at other people like that blah blah blah...
me: you have to leave me alone. if you're not willing to i am sure some of the store employess can make you leave.

and so on

the store employees say she's always in their store harrassing customers.

why do people feel the need to tell me what to do with my son? i feel like it happens to me all of the time. in fact, i think that almost every single time i venture out of my home someone gives me unwanted advice/ scolds me about my parenting. and i am one of the most compassionate parents i know.

love, tabitha


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## veganmamma

It's true, I've seen it. Everywhere she goes everyone is like, "put a hat on that baby! She's cold!!" Tristan is such the boy baby, too! I think he just has those beautiful rosy cheeks, but he has such a masculine face. People don't seem to give me as much of a hard time, I don't know why. Tristan just has a magnetic personality. People are always asking her if she's afraid he'll fall out of the sling too. Like she was really concerned he might fall to his death but she thought she'd toss him in there anyway.







: Jeez... On another note, DP's Grandma... **sighs** She was at a family gathering making comments to a new mom there about how great it was that she was using a pacifier, (She's mad cuz I won't) how it was great she has such a short labor, (another jab at me for my 72 hours at home- this mom was induced for "failure to progress" after like 4 hours,) and said she was glad it was so easy for her, (epidural @ 3 cm- me natural at home, ) La la la jab after jab at me. She is always telling me I'll make dd bucktoothed for thumb sucking- she isn't even sucking er thumb yet! But I hope she does! till she's 20!! That I'll make her bow legged by letting her stand, that she's excercising her lungs when shge cries and I should make her "work" for her food and cry before I nurse her!! She is always making nasty comments about our parenting and speaking for the baby saying, "Mommy, go away! Leave me with my Grandma! Go away!!" I'm like, Puh-leeze, she knows all the mean stuff you do to the other kids, she would never say that! THis is a woman who gave 2 y/o BIL a hammer and a doll and showed him how to beat the doll with a hammer while his mom was 9 mos preggo w/ SIL!!! I would call her a lunatic but I'm not allowed. I will have to think of some other evil things she has done and come back.
Tabitha can vouch for her evil nature-- is that okay? she has an evil nature?? Grr...
Lauren


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## jenni

This thread is great, very theraputic! Thanks everyone.

My MIL, bless her heart, she means well, 'but', is talking with me on the phone and says; "You've got to stop breastfeeding him, he is so big!"

me; I don't think so, he is just right.

she; is he sleeping through the night yet?







:

me; no

she; well you've just got to get him out of your bed! (we co-sleep)

me; I don't think so

she; Is he pooping every day?

me; no

she; there must be something wrong, you should take him to a doctor.







: (He has at times gone a week without going...but I will never tell her that!!!)

me; he is healthy and happy, so...., I don't think so.

This convo took place when he was about five months old (he just turned seven, and the same conversation could be had....) I just let it roll off my back. She is half serious, half joking, since she knows I will just do what I will.

Only once has my own Mother said you've got to move him out of your room, to which I also said, 'I don't think so.' She never mentioned it again


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## sohj

This has been sooooo funny, how come no one started it before?

Stupid thing said to a co-worker: She looks like she's ready to pop.....like who cares what you think she loooks like? She was having a rough time of it, looked really big, delivered early to a slightly premie. The last thing she needed with her heart probs and ashthma was being told all the time that she looked like she was going to burst!!!









Stupid thing said to me when preg: (One of many stupid things) You shouldn't climb on anything...this while standing ona library kick stool in the office at 35 weeks preg when I had been out in the field (I'm an engineer) until 34 weeks, climbing up and down scaffolding and into foundation pits and yelling at idiot greedheads trying to cut corners on very tall and heavy buildings. The following weekend I went snowshoeing.

Also, when I was late and desperate for labor to start, another woman (!) at a skating rink refused to let me on the ice. This despite the fact I brought my own pair of HOCKEY SKATES (!) and was insanely antsy to MOOOOVE. I had such a desire to glide over the ice.
















Oh yeah, women at work asking me (when they see me STILL pumping) How long are you going to do that?

Loved the comebacks here. This is hilarious!!!!


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## hoppytoad

I usually just lurk here, but I had to chime in with my own story..

This happened when I was pregnant with Emma. One time, after a class let out when I was in college, a guy from the class pulled me aside, acting all concerned and said, "I just had to ask...is the father involved?"








: I looked at him astonished, and asked him what made him feel it was okay to ask someone a question like that.

A friend of mine said what I should have told him was, "Well, obviously he was a some point!!"

Some people....ugh


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## Eosine

lOl at your friend's response!

I was wondering if you remembered the answer to your question about why he would ask that?
If that's too personal, don't worry, but I'm really wondering!

Thanks!


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## gurumama

hoppytoad,

you were obviously an incredibly hot pregnant momma and that was his come-on line!
























mel


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## hoppytoad

gurumama, thanks!







but I honestly think he was just trying to be nosy.







:

As for his response to my question....I don't remember exactly what he said, but I know he turned red, kind of sputtered something out and walked away. At least he was ashamed of himself after I called him on it!


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## JesseMomme

Conversation w/ my nieghbor a few weeks ago (to her credit she is still unaware I gave birth at home UC :LOL) -
"He's getting so big! How much did he weigh at birth again?"
me: <all proud of my self and of baby>"Ten pounds exactly"
her:"Wow! Did you have a cesaerian? (by virtue of being "large")"
me:"What?Oh, no, I had him naturally"
her:<admirably>"wowwww...."
And the rest of the coversation was about how it take me a few minutes to push him out and no I did not tear and need stitches, nope didn't get an episiotomy....I wasn't lying to her LOL but I chose wisely about whom I enlighten too.


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## velveeta

It is always so amazing to me that complete strangers will ask about the state of one's vagina!







That is *very* personal!

I work at this pretty stuff company. I work from home, and go in to the office only every couple of weeks. So, the people don't know me all that well.

So when I told a few people that I was pregnant early on (i had to miss quite a bit of work due to nausea), I had someone ask me whether this pregnancy was PLANNED! I *should* have said, "none of your business, bizard!" But, instead I said, "well, it was planned, just not by us." And that is the truth.









I am using a lot more comebacks now that I am bigger, more uncomfortable, and very grouchy. A lady told me yesterday that I can forget about having sex again if the baby sleeps with us. So, I told her that DH likes to have sex in lots of places other than the bed! Normally, I never talk about private things like that, but it made me so mad!!







This same lady also sad that I look "fat in a good way, like Santa Claus!" Can you believe that? I have gained 23 pounds so far, and I was quite trim before!

ARGH!!!























Jean

Jean


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## JesseMomme

Good point Jean - what is it about the topic of having babies in general that brings about this mentality that info on one's yoni belongs on a highway billboard?? :LOL

Fat- Like Santa Clause? That's in a good way? I can't even see how being slender before and gaining 23 lbs so far even can constitute as "fat" ugh.....pregnancy is beautiful no matter what the size (or wieght gain, and I have gained a lot of it







) there is nothing "fat" about it! The word fat having such a negative connotation in our culture to begin wtih. I think our bellies and bodies are more "phat"! :LOL That reminds me of the time a few weeks before I gave birth when I passed by my landlords office and she was outside with a few other people and she said "Wow! Look at those puffy cheeks!" Like what do you say to something like _that?_ I was speechless and muttered something like "hehe yeah" and kept on walking thinking wtf?
Aside, don't you hate it when you think of a good comeback hours after the fact?







:
Besides, I get to breastfeed my "fat" off of me.









~Jesse


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## AmyG

Just the other day I went to Wal-Mart and put my baby in his infant car seat over the seat part of the cart since he was sleeping too soundly for me to want to put him in his sling. I was shopping and minding my own business when some woman stopped me and asked if the seat was secure up there.







: I really wanted to say, "Nope, sometimes he just bounces right off," but I was polite and showed her that there's a safety catch to prevent it from ever falling.


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## Bladestar5

Quote:

Fat- Like Santa Clause? That's in a good way? I can't even see how being slender before and gaining 23 lbs so far even can constitute as "fat" ugh.....pregnancy is beautiful no matter what the size (or wieght gain, and I have gained a lot of it ) there is nothing "fat" about it! The word fat having such a negative connotation
I agree. Pregnancy is beautiful, and I am willing to bet dh agrees. He couldn't get enough of me when I was pregnant!!


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## kater07

I was just told that I needed to "reprogram" my DS. He "needs to learn independence" by CIO and falling asleep on his own.

UGH...

This isn't the first time I've heard this this month, but ...


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## Alegria

Quote:

*I was just told that I needed to "reprogram" my DS. He "needs to learn independence" by CIO and falling asleep on his own.
*

How RUDE.


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## yhk

I was told by my stepmother to have DD sleep on her stomach; otherwise, her head will be flat from sleeping on her back all the time, and she'll be ugly.

I laughed it off. It was so ridiculous, it was pretty funny.


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## veganmamma

The thread that can't be killed!! Yay!


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## Bladestar5

One thing that I find is dumb advice, is when somebody without kids pretends to know exactly how I should be living. Dh's boss thinks I should work. Well, he should mind his OWN business.


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## April 2007

Quote:

_Originally posted by Bladestar5_
*One thing that I find is dumb advice, is when somebody without kids pretends to know exactly how I should be living*
ugh! you just reminded me of the girl i used to live with. when i was preggo, during a transition t our apartment, I had to live with some friends for a couple months. it was a mom, dad, 21 yr old, and 16 yr old(im 20). the 21 yr old was/is totally obsessed with marriage, family, etc. she has a wedding book that has everything picked out, planned out, etc., for her wedding. now, i know most girls dream about their wedding, or see a pretty wedding dress and decide that's the one they'll wear, but this girl is completely off the deep end!! she truly is obsessed. even to the point that she collects maternity clothes, baby clothes, etc., from ppl she knows who don't need the stuff anymore!! Like literally, when i moved in, she gave me some baby clothes, maternity clothes, and "what to expect when you're expecting", which she had already read-cover to cover! she always talks to moms about stuff, and they're always the moms who believe their dr when they tell them their babe needs rice at 6 wks old







:

so anyway, the girl thought she knw EVERYTHING. in the beginning, i sorta believed some stuff she said. like she told me that if your stretch marks are purple/red, those are the ones that will stay there forever, but if they're white, they'll go away. after i gave birth i realized that they start out the purple/red color and THEN go to white or not even there anymore. then she tried telling me stupid stuff about colostrum. when she visited me and noah after he was born, he spit up while she was holding him and i asked if it was like chunky spit up or runny like milk (i was dealing with reflux at that point and wanted to see how much he had gotten down, lol). she said it was runny and then started to say,"you know, when it's chunky, it means.." and i cut her of cause she was about to say something false. when i told her the real abswer, she was like, "oh"

the thing that bothers me the most, though, is not that she tells ppl this stuff like she's such an expert, but that women who are preggo ACTUALLY BELIEVE HER! It's so maddening that these women who are 10+ yrs older than her actually believe every word of it







: at least i wasn't totally gullible.....


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## Bladestar5

Wow, the hoarding baby clothes thing sounds like my sister's friend!!! That is so weird. I feel bad for the future husband!!


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## Eosine

Geez, aren't the parents a little concerned about their obsessive 16 year old? Ah well, maybe they're just glad that they'll get grandkids from that one for sure!!


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## Irishmommy

Quote:

_Originally posted by yhk_
*I was told by my stepmother to have DD sleep on her stomach; otherwise, her head will be flat from sleeping on her back all the time, and she'll be ugly.

I laughed it off. It was so ridiculous, it was pretty funny.*
I have to butt in here and say that she does, sort of, have a point. First off, babies should not sleep on their stomach as it increases the risks of SIDS, but babies who do spend most of their time on their backs can have flattened heads, that can cause brain damage eventually. I'm not talking just sleep though, I'm talking leaving the baby on her back all the time. I had a foster son whose head was totally flat on the back from being left on it. In his case though, it was neglect.


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## sunmountain

yeah, now they have these helmets babies can wear







How about picking the baby up?


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## April 2007

Quote:

_Originally posted by Eosine_
*Geez, aren't the parents a little concerned about their obsessive 16 year old? Ah well, maybe they're just glad that they'll get grandkids from that one for sure!!







*
no, it's the 21 year old who's like that!!! even worse!!!


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## Eosine

Ooops! Thank you! Yes, you'd think she'd be busy with college or something...









Sorry to hear about the foster child with the flat head...yikes!
Helmut!! Sheesh! Yeah, I'd love to be a baby with a helmut on trying to sleep...mind you I've seen some kids falling out of strollers and shopping carts that could use them...

Hmmph! I love my snuggli....


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## Bladestar5

Next thing they will find is the helmet puts too much weight on the neck and causes medical problems that way.


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## kater07

Last night my sister told my dad that punishing a dog for doing something wrong was reinforcing the bad behavior.

My dad just had the dog get off the couch where she was growling at my 7mth old son. She'd already nipped at him once and is in the bad habit of growling and barking viciously in ppl's faces.

I asked her what he was supposed to do, just let her bite DS in the face, and she said, *"Well, that's how they learn,"*and acted like it didn't really matter if DS got bit or not.







Then she got mad when I said that there's no way that I was going to let her dog learn what a baby is by allowing the dog to bite my kid.

She also said that it wasn't like DS looks like a real person yet, he's still just looks like monkey. She tried to cover it up by saying that it was how the DOGS see him, but now I know why she doesn't wanna spend time with him.


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## Bladestar5

Your sister is very uninformed and immature. If I were to stoop to her level, I would have slapped her








I know a woman who had 2 dogs, and they were wonderful with her newborn. One of them would bring the baby toys if she cried. They were great even as the baby got older, and very protective. I would advise you to never let your child alone with the dog, or your sister.


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## MysticHealerMom

well, theres something to the 'punishment reinforces bad behavior' thing, but i think your sister misinterpreted how it works. when a dog is being bad, you need to let it know when it's doing something bad that it's wrong, ie, tell him no and make him get off the couch. when he snarls at your son, tell him no or whatever you use to let him know his behavior is wrong. but a major spanking or sending him outside or waiting too long after the bad behavior will only confuse him. some behavior is considered 'rough housing' by dogs, so, if they're doing somehting you think is bad, and they interpret your punishment as 'rough housing', that's fun, so it reinforces the behavior. with most dogs, short, to the point and not dragging it on will get the point that the behavior was unwanted.

i also think that letting the dog get too much snarling in at your son is definately bad and should be stopped immediately! and ire: the monkey comment







: it's too bad your sister has these issues


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## Chi-Chi Mama

what MysticHealerMom said.


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## sohj

"Last night my sister told my dad that punishing a dog for doing something wrong was reinforcing the bad behavior.

My dad just had the dog get off the couch where she was growling at my 7mth old son. She'd already nipped at him once and is in the bad habit of growling and barking viciously in ppl's faces. "

I'm very confused by this. Maybe it is the use of the word 'punishment'.

You've gotta make the dog know it is doing wrong. I've had dogs all my life, including sleddogs and gotten some really interesting lessons from people who do fostering of wolves and wolf hybrids seized by police and others. Dogs need to be 'punished' occasionally as they occasionally step over the bounds in the 'pack'. The dog shouldn't bite the Alphas' baby. No discussion on that. I don't agree with spanking a dog (yr. right, lots of dogs don't get it) but I have been known to GENTLY bite a dogs ear and 'get in its face' and hold it down in a submissive position. I also once made a friend do that to my dog because, for some reason, my dog of the time was trying to dominate her. They finally worked it out.







:

Yr. sister has NO clue. The dog does not think the baby is a monkey. The baby smells like you and the dog knows it is your 'puppy'. There is some domination issue here and yr. sister refuses to recognize it. I am so very sorry. Better to keep her away from the baby.

P.S. DON'T try the ear biting at home until you get some lessons in dog pack behaviour. I'll try and come up with a good book to start you off. (I just learned myself growing up around working animals.)

P.P.S. I just reread yr. message and realized it is your SISTER'S dog! Egads! This dog is definately insecure and, therefore, in my books probably untrustworthy. Could be retrained with love and security and knowing its place in the pack, but don't leave it around your child (or anyone else not prepared for an unreliable dog.) I adopted a very insecure dog nine years ago and she is still with us today, now happy, healthy, secure (relatively) and fiercely protective of the Alpha female's 11 month old son who climbs all over her and pulls her ears!!!


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## Eosine

I can't agree more, dogs communicate in ways humans don't understand...except some humans have figured it out! sohj is quite right!

Hey, I had a guy over fixing our washing machine and he told me when I wean the baby I could use cow's milk and some kind of special corn syrup







He told me his kids grew like weeds on the stuff from day one! Formula is so expensive afterall....

I had this sample of Enfamil A+ powder....new product from Enfalac advertising essential fatty acids are added now......I figured I'd add some water to it and see if I could use it for cooking...there was no cow's milk in the ingredients...just whey....so I could use it to bake cookies? I was just feeling like experimenting









BUT, when I mixed it with the proper amount of water a horrible smell rose up! I figured I would at least tate it, and it tasted like cod liver oil!!!!!

Ughghgh!


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## kater07

Just heard someone say that her baby *IS* going to learn to sleep on her own!

She said that it's fine if she cries, and that she won't let her cry for more than 30 mins, but she's not going in there just b/c her MIL spoiled the not-yet-3-month-old. She said she'd go in there when the baby actually needed her, but wanting to be held is not a need, so she'd have to learn to deal with it.

Poor baby!

She's also said that Gary Ezzo is a genius and she believes in him whole-heartedly. "He knows exactly what he's talking about."

I did retort with something like, "Well, I believe his methods kill children and he's a quack."


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## sohj

I've been forming a theory that people who adopt Ezzo as their mentor have real problems about affection and probably have terrible modes of expressing any kind of physical affection to their partners.

That poor little baby.


----------



## April 2007

Quote:

_Originally posted by kater07_
*She's also said that Gary Ezzo is a genius and she believes in him whole-heartedly. "He knows exactly what he's talking about."

I did retort with something like, "Well, I believe his methods kill children and he's a quack."*
http://www.ezzo.info/Voices/hfamily.htm this site is amazing! this woman is on another list and she used to be the biggest advocate of the Ezzos. from now on if anyone talkls positively about ezzo, i will direct them to that site!


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## Eosine

Blessed81902, Thank you so much for that link! I could cry for hours after reading the heart wrenching stories









http://www.ezzo.info/Voices/hsieh.htm

Quote:

Please, don't just take our word for it. Do your own research. When you are finished, we be-lieve you will draw the same conclusions we have. We thought we were following sound parent-ing information and doing what was proclaimed to be in the best interest of our son. We could not have been more wrong, and we will always live with that knowledge. We now believe nurs-ing on demand, especially in the early months of life, is among the most critical things one can do for the long-term health and well-being of their child. The harm that has been associated with the Ezzos' parent-directed feeding schedules is not always easily undone, and is simply not worth the potential risks. No other child or parents deserve to endure what we have suffered.

It is our sincere prayer that as awareness of the controversies and problems with the Ezzos' Preparation for Parenting and Preparation for the Toddler Years (On Becoming BabyWise, books 1 & 2) programs increases, the followers will decrease.

.
If anyone ever mentions that to me, I won't say a word, but give them the link to this site.
I hear a lot about "scheduled feedings" and thankfully always ignored it. Now I'm ever so grateful and relieved that I went with my instincts rather than "advice".


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## kater07

And, I get yet another dumb comment...

Next door neighbor found out about DS's 1st tooth today. He looked at me and said, "You did stop BFing didn't you?"

I said, "Nooooo."

He said, "Oh, No! Are you crazy?"

I said, "It's not like he BITES."

From now on, I am going to make sure I use my new analogy of BFing. When a child or adult drinks from a straw, do they bite the straw while they drink? not usually, unless they are playing. Well, my nipples are just a straw in my boob allowing the same sucking action to get milk out of me.

Grrr...and his daughter is PG and planning to BF. Please pray he doesn't rub off on her.


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## sohj

someone said "You're still doing that? Isn't he on formula and cereal by now?! When are you going to stop?"

I replied, "Oh, he's eating steak and asparagus, but, I figured I would donate the rest to a breast milk bank so I'll be doing this in here for a while.














"

And yet another round of "You still haven't bought a television!? He'll feel so out of it with his friends."


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## gurumama

sohj--























Here's one for ya: "Oh, well, DP has gotten into the taste, and you know, whatever it takes to keep the spark in the relationship..." And then smile REAL big.


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## dancingmama

This thread is great! Happily, I havent had some of the awful comments you all have had -- good grief! I've got some less horrible ones to add:

MIL regarding a train ride I took with dd when she was 5 weeks old: "Well, you'd better bring a bottle, just in case."
Just in case.... what???

Coworker in regards to my planned homebirth: "So the midwives will do a C-section if you need one?" Um, in my living room?

Coworker in regards to continuing to BF my 6mo dd: "You know, you gave her everything useful in the first 3 weeks." And this woman is a nurse!

I generally answer people's concerns about cosleeping and rolling over on the baby with an analogy to rolling out of bed -- "you just don't roll out of bed, right? cuz you know where the edge of the bed is." Then I had one coworker who told me he does in fact roll out of the bed, not infrequently. My response: "oh. um. then you should never sleep with a baby." hmmmm....

My favorite response to how long I'm planning to BF is "oh, I dunno, 16?" -- it always shuts people up and gets at least a nervous laugh.


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## mamapajama

My MIL told me that I do not have a cuddly baby. The way to have a cuddly baby she states is to make sure you give them a pacifier. If you give them a pacifier they will then become cuddly babies. UGH


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## Jish

Kater, I hate to tell you this, but I do bite my straws. I always have -- flat as a pancake with my front teeth while I drink. My toddler does it too, however he nursed till he was two and never had a problem biting me.


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## kater07

ok, well, most ppl don't bite their straws. lol


----------



## Wildcrafter

My sister in law was at hospital the day my baby was born. She was demanding that our son be circumcized - otherwise he would be confused later. Don't think so. A week later she stopped by with mil to put the swing together and said she wasn't leaving until she saw the baby in it. She put the baby in it and he immediately started crying so I immediately took him out and comforted. "You gotta let him cry it out" they both tried to convince me. "NO I DON'T", I said. A month later sister in law calls, first thing she says is "where is the baby" I say "in my arms", she yells, "Put that baby in the swing and walk away!" It goes on and on, unfortunately. Incidentally her two sons are both in jail right now. Thanks for letting me vent.


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## dancingmama

MaryTG, good grief!!!!!!!!!!!! I just don't get it! Honestly, it makes me want to bang my head against the wall.


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## rwikene

Where does you sister in law get the right to "demand" that your son be circed? Um, it isn't her penis!!!!

Sounds like you need to run far far away from that woman!


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## Dana

This thread is soooo very depressing!!! The most annoying thing I'm dealing with lately is when I mention that dd (22mo) still wakes frequently at night. They say that it's because she's still breastfeeding. My current retort is "No, it isn't." Pretty clever, huh? (Sometimes, I do try to inform them, too.) I do feel like I've developed a much much thicker skin because of my parenting choices. I used to be much more of a people pleaser and now, I only try to please my dd and myself... (and occasionally dh.)


----------



## Shenjall

I get the you-hold-your-baby-way-too-much crap all the time too!
I'm also told that co-sleeping is wrong b/c she'll "never" leave my bed. My reply usually consists of some smart-a** comment about making it easier for me to wake her to get her off to work later in life.
So many small minds...


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## HotMama

I have to toss in here that my fil said no matter what we do, (feed her wheat before 1 yr, vax or not, etc) dd would be fine because we hold her so much. I keep that close to my heart...he has five sons and none are in jail


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## reilly's momma

Quote:

_Originally posted by MaryTG_
*Incidentally her two sons are both in jail right now.*
Hey, you could always agree with your sil, just say, "You're right, if I do that then my child will turn out as wonderful as yours." That might shut her up, or she'll get pissed off & not want to talk to you, works either way :LOL

edited for typo


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## sohj

T Slightly

The papa was waiting outside a deli for me the other evening, holding our pixie and the dog leash (with the dog on the other end) and kissed him on the nose just as a couple was walking by. The female said "What a cute little girl! I'd kiss her, too" Papa answered "It's a boy, little boys deserve kisses, too!"


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## kater07

Good for him!


----------



## papachee

great thread!

I finally remembered something light I can contribute.

At the pediatrician's office when we are taking a cloth diaper off ds. She say's "wow what's that" (meaning the diaper)!!! She's been a ped for ... 20 years!
Really nice lady and she does what we want her to do, but wow!


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## Jish

I would have been really worried if she HADN'T meant the diaper.


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## sunmountain

:LOL


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## organicbanana

after baby #3 was born, the ped. came to see him, and it turned out to be the _one_ dr. from our peds. office who we just *can't stand* - i spend time praying that he has no children of his own to screw up... anyway, when he came in, ds was sleeping in my arms. dr. dick (yes, his first name is dick - i'm not just feeling vengeful) points at ds and says "you better not let him get used to _that_!"
he then proceeded to eyeball the chart, then looked surprised and said - "so - you didn't circumcise him - can i ask why??" - as if it was just the weirdest thing in the world that we wanted to leave our son intact.
i said, "it's unneccessary and purely cosmetic, and we didn't want to put him through something lke that"
to which his response was "well, yes i guess, but it's really done so they don't, you know, _look different_" (last part said in a semi-whispery voice)
cause, you know, god forbid anyone look different from anyone else... especially when it comes to penises, since they're regularly displayed publicly (???!!!)


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## sunmountain

organicbanana...
yeah, but isn't it just FUN to put those kinds of ppl in their place??? After dd (my fourth) was born, I had the nosiest/worst resident, and I had such a fabulous time telling her to shove off everytime she questioned anything I did, like that we weren't vaxing at birth, I had also refused all other interventions during my labor, I was bfing







and she stayed in the bed with me--> double eek! the worst was when she tried vilolently shaking her arm to get her to open her eyes one morning, so she could check, I don't know, pupil dilation or something stupid?? I snatched her right away and told her her bedside manner sucked and to leave my room until a real doctor was available to assist her! I finally had her banned from my room, and I'm pretty sure from the hospital soon thereafter







She was so creepy, but it was fun nevertheless... maybe I just have a sick sense of humor...


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## KristiMom

Okay I just found this thread and have been laughing myself silly reading it!!!!!

We do not have a TV in our home and my ex-MIL puts my DD in front of movies. Well one was about a puppy who lost his family and spent the whole movie trying to find them so my DD (4 at the time) was scared to death and had nightmares, to which my ex-MIL said "if you just let her watch TV all the time she wouldn't be so sensitive".........................exactly:confuse d: I want my child to have feelings about what happens in the world, to feel upset seeing a bunch of people shot or killed, not desensitized to it!

When people ask me if DS is a good baby I always reply "Yes, he know just when to smile, when to cry and when to poop!"


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## 1Plus2

Being a Mommy of twins I've gotten some real doozies...

When pregnant still: "Can they hurt each other?" HUH?!?!

"Are they twins?" Ummm...no....I happen to have two newborns!

"Don't you HAVE to supplement twins?" Yes...and before formula was invented I would have done WHAT?!

"Can you nurse them both at the same time?" I have two breasts don't I?!?!

"So....now you have three girls? Are you finished or are you going to try for a boy?" This doesn't even deserve an answer!

And I know this isn't a question but if I hear "Boy, you sure do have your hands full" one more time, I'm going to rip the persons tongue out!!!!!!









Karen
Haven 9/2000
Lillie & Faith 12/2002


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## sunmountain

dbl post


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## sunmountain

1plus2, I got/get those same last two comments constantly!!!!! I had three boys first, then a girl and EVERYONE kept asking us after 2 and 3 were born if we were trying for a girl. I told them, "I would like a baby."







As far as the "your hands are full" comments, I ususally just say, "Well, it's a whole lot better than having them empty" this always shuts them up. Sometimes I add a useful remark like , "now will you hold the door for me, since you have observed my hands are so full? Or would you like to hold one of the kids so I can open it myself?" :LOL


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## kimmysue2

Okay my turn.

My son comes to work with me. At around 4 monts old the owners wife said to my son "Tell mama you want more then titie".

She use to ask me how long I was going to nurse. I said until he is done?

My parents are great about everything with Tevin. But my dad was like oh when your brother comes to visit I will watch Tevin and (brother's son) Auburne. They should be weaned by April (2003). I was like NO Tevin will be nursing still.
My mom says well you stopped nursing at 10 month on your own so don't be upset if Tevin does. For the record is he just about 1 year old and knowing my son like I do I do not see any stopping soon.


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## kater07

I have heard from several people that when it comes to doctors, surgeons in particular, bedside manner isn't important it's the skill that matters.

When it comes to children, it's VERY important in my eyes that someone doing scary things like surgery, shots or anything else that causes fear or pain have GREAT bedside manner in order to keep kids calm and at ease.


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## Summer

Okay, I've been lurking up 'till now, but I just have to share my story...

I had a case of thrush that was just unbelievable and lasted for 4 months. At the end of it (at it's worst before it was finally cured), I developed a staph infection that turned into sepsis. I was seriously sick and was hospitalized for a week. My son was 4.5 months old and was nursing.

The first day I was in the hospital, I asked a bunch of times for a breast pump, but I didn't get one that day. So by the evening I was seriously engorged. That's when the "Infectious Disease Specialist" came by to examine me. My regular doc had apparently told him about the thrush (and obviously that I was nursing) and he wanted to take a look at it. So he looks at my seriously engorged breasts and kind of palpitates one a little. Milk leaks out. He says "How long have you been having this discharge? I think we should culture it in the lab!" Yikes!

Then, the next day he comes back and explains to me that nursing after 2 weeks is pointless since all the immunities have already been passed on by then. I was seriously cranky by then and even under the best of circumstances, I'm not one to take a lot of BS easily. I turned and looked at him and said "Doc, I've got to ask you, have you cracked a book or opened a newspaper in the last 10 years? Seriously, because every major health organization recommends nursing for at least a full year." He just kind of yammered something and shuffled off. I did see the results of the "culture" he had done when I left. Shockingly enough, it was breastmilk!


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## Kundalini-Mama

Quote:

_Originally posted by organicbanana_
*- "so - you didn't circumcise him - can i ask why??" - as if it was just the weirdest thing in the world that we wanted to leave our son intact.
i said, "it's unneccessary and purely cosmetic, and we didn't want to put him through something lke that"
to which his response was "well, yes i guess, but it's really done so they don't, you know, look different" (last part said in a semi-whispery voice)
cause, you know, god forbid anyone look different from anyone else... especially when it comes to penises, since they're regularly displayed publicly (???!!!)*
its funny you should mention this. just today i was walking in town, and what should i see but 6 (not 5) pantless men comparing their penises. what was odd, was that there is over a foot of snow and i figured they must be freezing


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## Xenogenesis

Summer and AmyD - you both cracked me up. Thank you. I needed that. :LOL


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## Quirky

Quote:

_Originally posted by Summer_
*So he looks at my seriously engorged breasts and kind of palpitates one a little. Milk leaks out. He says "How long have you been having this discharge? I think we should culture it in the lab!" Yikes!

Then, the next day he comes back and explains to me that nursing after 2 weeks is pointless since all the immunities have already been passed on by then. I was seriously cranky by then and even under the best of circumstances, I'm not one to take a lot of BS easily. I turned and looked at him and said "Doc, I've got to ask you, have you cracked a book or opened a newspaper in the last 10 years? Seriously, because every major health organization recommends nursing for at least a full year." He just kind of yammered something and shuffled off. I did see the results of the "culture" he had done when I left. Shockingly enough, it was breastmilk!







*






































Summer, you are a hoot! Glad you de-lurked to share this story, and welcome to MDC!


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## Unreal

Dh, ds2, and I were at ToysRUs yesterday looking at baby swings (I'm still trying to deal with the guilt of giving in and buying one, but I need at least 30 minutes during the day to get ds1 ready and going on his schoolwork....)
An employee walked up and asked if we had any questions--which we did...
We had heard that the Fisher Price swings had an incredibly loud motor--was that true?
Her response? It is loud, but seems to help the baby to sleep. When we asked how loud, she continued to say it would be annoying if you were in the same room, but really does help the baby to sleep.

We joked about just putting the swing in the closet and promptly got one of the graco swings...

Ummmm...okay, I admit I have run to the bathroom while ds was in the swing (one room away) and I have gone to put the wet dipers in the dryer (two rooms away), but to deliberately put the babe in another room????? *sigh*


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## mamaley

Quote:

_Originally posted by sunmountain_
*As far as the "your hands are full" comments, I ususally just say, "Well, it's a whole lot better than having them empty" this always shuts them up.*
I love that!


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## Ravin

I was in line at the grocery store and a woman a couple of months farther along in pregnacy was ahead of me. She was chatting with the cashier (small town grocery store), and commented that she had conceived while on birth control and hadn't wanted any more children. She spent about two minutes there complaining about how much work and misery babies are. And here I am right behind her, a first-time-mom who can't wait to take on that work and thinks misery is generated by one's attitude. She really got on my nerves. I almost told her she should be grateful she'd been blessed with such a gift, but held my tongue.

I made up for it by, when asked by the cashier, I said being pg was great since I'd gotten over the morning sickness and that I was really looking forward to the baby.


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## jogirl

oh goodness... some of these stories are doosies!

some stuff i've been told:

tammy, you can't nurse lying down - that's just lazy
(geesh mom!!)

my most appalling comment is: "babies just cry"

I HATE THAT... babies just don't cry in my house (well, maybe when their exhausted and can't be calmed), but otherwise - never! When Anna cries it means she needs something changed and it's our job to figure it out. I soooo hate that line!


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## RaisingCaine

I still haven't gotten to the end of this thread, I'll have to come back and finish it tomorrow.

I can't believe some of the things you ladies have had to put up with, truly unbelievable! I feel fourtunate that all the things I've heard so far have been pretty mild.

Some of my favorites include:

The time ds was going through his first growth spurt and we went to MIL's for a visit. She got really concerned that since he was eating so much I wasn't making milk any more. She kept asking "are you sure your still making milk?" "Well are you sure your making enough?" I didn't have to come up with a good comeback, ds did it for me. He unlatched just as I started to let down (he did this alot in the begining) and milk went spraying every where! Not a single comment about my suposedly failing milk supply since that day.

She started in on the breastfeeding even before I left the hospital, she was so hoping I would fail so the baby could come spend the night.







: She was thrilled when the doctor wanted me to suplement him with formula to put some weight on him and stabalize his blood sugar (he was 5lb 4oz at birth). Well I didn't know any better so I begrudgingly went along. Caine had other plans though and refused to drink it (they tried syringe/cup feeding him and he would spit it right back out). Finally I had a very bf friendly nurse who called my ped and asked if we could stop the supplementing since he was bf'ing so well and wouldn't take the formula anyway. Well my brilliant MIL told me she would go to every drug store in town, pick up a can of every formula she could find and we would try them all untill we found one he liked.














I was so astonished I just started yelling hystericlly that the doctor said I didn't have to supplement him and I WAS NOT giving my baby ANY more formula.

FIL is pretty good but even he had a momentary lapse in good sense once. I was changing ds's diaper on his living room floor and he happened to look over and notice that ds was not circumsized. He asked me when we planned on having it done, I told him never. He asked me why, I told him I didn't believe in it.
Him: Don't believe in it, but thats what you do with little boys. Thats whats best for him.
Me: I did a lot of studying before he was born and most of the stuff I read said that it's totally unnessasary. (I did the research to convince dh we shouldn't circumsize). I'm not going to put my son through a painfull cosmetic procedure just for kicks.
Him: But thats what you do to little boys!







:


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## Justice2

My ds, Kaeleb is 8 weeks old. His preferable carrying position is pretty much slung over my left arm, facing the world (or floor as he typically falls asleep in this position). We were walking around Wal-Mart, grocery shopping the other day (picking out fruits and veggies - yeah for spring!!!) and he didn't want to stay in his carsear, so here I am, Kaeleb slung over left arm and trying to push a buggy full of groceries with my right when this older woman came up to me and practically yelled "YOU ARE GOING TO DROP THAT BABY". I tilted my head and replied, "If I do, will you pick him up and hand him back?" She literally placed her nose in the air, humphed and walked a way. Snotty B****.

Like I am going to drop my baby. People should really mind their own business!


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## April 2007

ok...it's been a while since I've posted anything here, but I'm in the process of preparing a letter to the peds office about our last appointment. So I thought I'd share with you the stupid and maddening things that happened.









first of all, noah was 6 mos at the time and hadn't had/has not had any vaccines. We are not planning on any unless things change...

So anyway, we get in the lil room and the nurse says they are going to take his temperature. I know Noah can't stand the rectal thermometer, and last time we went, I didn't understand why they needed to use it. I mean, yeah it's more accurate, but if you can phsycially feel that the child is not warm or hot at all, then why would a few degrees matter on the thermometer????

So I asked her why they needed the rectal thermomter, and she said it's routine for babies under 6 months because it's more accurate...I jsut simply told her he was already 6 months so he didn't need that done. She kind of rolled her eyes but went and got the ear thermometer.

Then she asked if we still weren't getting vaccines and I said no we weren't. Then she said she still had to go through the little paper to tell me what they were supposed to do at this check up. Then she told me he would need his iron tested at the next appt and she asked if I would let them do that. I have never researched the iron test so I told her I wasn't sure and that I would look into it. At that point she made a sarcastic laugh and rolled her eyes at me. Before she left, I asked who we would be seeing (our regular, respectful, doctor left their office







: ). She told me I'd be seeing a nurse practitioner and she was really great.

So the nurse practitioner came in. She looked him over. Then she asked me why we weren't doing vaccines. I told her I had personal religious reasons for not vaccinating. Then she aske dme what those were (it's illegal to ask anyone what their relgious reasonings are in the state of florida). I told her one thing was that I hated the fact that aborted babies are used as fillers for some of the vaccines...

Her: what? what do you mean?

Me: (thinking it was self explanatory) they use aborted babies as fillers for some of the vaccines.

Her: which ones? I've never heard that before...where did you hear that?

Me: Well, President Bush has spoken against it before.

Her: you mean he's spoken against vaccines?????

Me: no...he's spoken against using aborted babies as fillers

Her: oh...well, they never told us that before...we don't know anything about that (acting like because she doesn't know about it, then it must not be true)

So then she comes over to inspect his penis (this is where I feel totally guilty)..she asked if I'd begun training his foreskin and before I got a chance to state that you shouldn't do that, she pulls noah's foreskin back!!!!!! I wanted to scream at her and smakc her for hurting my precious baby!! I was in such shock (because the dr we saw last time kept telling me not to mess with it because nature will do what it needs to do..I already knew this, but was glad he felt the same way). She told me that you usually start rtaining it at around 2 or 3 yrs old but it looked like his foreskin was already detached so I should start training it now. I was so evastated that she hurt my baby that I couldn't even think to yell at her and tell her how stupid she sounded and "what do you think yo'r training it to do??" what? is it going to start doing tricks or something??

Oh, and before she assaluted my son, she asked what kinds of solids I'd been giving him. I told her that we've experienced with a few things (apples, bananas, sweet potatoes and carrots). She told me that he should be having AT LEAST one vegeteable and one fruit every day and that he should be drinking at least 4 oz. of water every day and tha I could start giving him juice as a treat.

There is so much WRONG with what she said about solids that I can't even begin to break it all down!!!!!!

I am SOOO mad about all this and am writing a letter to the dr office to tell them how WRONG she is (I'm including several references to information proving that what she said is wrong).

UGH!! I didn't even make another appointment I wa so mad, but I'm going again and when the dr comes in I'm going to tell him/her that breastfeeding is fine, so don't give me any advice there, he is eating solids at his own pace, so don't tell me how much he should be eating, we're not doing vaccines, and don't ask why cause I'm not gonna tell you, and that I see his penis every day, several times a day and there is nothing wrong with his foreskin, so don't touch it!!!!


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## RaisingCaine

Quote:

_Originally posted by Blessed81902_
*
so then she comes over to inspect his penis (this is where I feel totally guilty)..she asked if I'd begun training his foreskin and before I got a chance to state that you shouldn't do that, she pulls noah's foreskin back!!!!!!*
Oh my goodness, how horrifying! I'm so sorry you and Noah had to go through that. It's scary to think that a NP so ignorant about foreskin works in a stinking ped's office! I don't understand why she felt the need to even take a look, no one at my ped's office has ever taken a look at his penis during a well child c/u.


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## reilly's momma

oh my, that's terrible Devin. I can't imagine how I would react, but, knowing my temper & mama-bear reaction, I'd proably still be screaming at her (of course, I know that doesn't help anything). I would go in there before you make another appointment & make it clear that your concerns need to be addressed or they will not get your business. If a nurse treated me the way that woman treated you, ooohhh, let's just say she'd be thinking twice before behaving that way again. & I cannot BELIEVE that the np did that, she even contradicted her behavior with her own statement! Whatever insurance you are on, they are making $$ off of you, so they need to treat you, the customer, with respect. & she assaulted your son, no question about it. She retracted his foreskin without permission, & you might even be able to file charges if you wanted to. If they are going to behave that way, I would go elsewhere, or, what many of us wind up doing, don't go at all. It's not ideal, but I have no intention of subjecting my son or myself to disrespectful, patronizing behavior. Good luck in whatever you decide,





















for you & Noah


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## MelissaEvans

We have a dr. and a ped. np. in the office we visit, and they both check ds's penis. We saw the dr. the first time and got the, "so, are you going to circ?" We told him no and he didn't argue, but you could tell he would have loved to chop off part of my ds's genitals. We visit the np now, she's much more relaxed. She's even ok with my selective and late vaxing, no arguemnts/suggestions/recommendations or anything. Perhaps they tend to check boys' privates because so many are circ'd and they need to verify they're healing OK? Do they check girls' privates?

Something silly, but nice I was told. At church (and in general) ds is in the sling or carrier a lot. I was out shopping with him in the baby bjorn and some girls from church saw me and came up to talk to me. They mentioned they thought it was me, then they saw the straps of the carrier and knew it was me. =) I'm the official carrier lady now. =)

~Melissa


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## rwikene

my nd checked DD's privates for the first few well baby visits, to make sure she didn't have yeast infections (although there were no signs of them) or anything like that.

Now he just opens the diaper, checks her hips and closes it back up...no biggie


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## April 2007

I would actually much rather not go to "well baby check ups" (I hate what they call them...it's like implying that only the doctor knows when your baby is "well").

I've already left one place because when they took Noah's temp it was 99.3 (he was 3 -4 mos old) and they told me I had to rush him to the hospital for a spinal, blood testing, etc., etc., etc. I took him to the hospital and the dr came in, told me he looked fine and said she had no idea why my dr freaked out and that she wasn't going to do needless testing ona perfectly healthy child! (I wish she was our ped, lol). The dr at that office also pulled his foreskin back







that's why we left.

I got recommendation for this place because they are supposed to be very breastfeeding friendly. They are...compared to many others...they have bfeeding pics up and an on-call LC. The ONLY reason why I take Noah to the "well baby visits" is because I'm going through a hard situation with the "sperm donor" and although I highly doubt he'd ever take me to court...if he DID, that would be something he would bring up...he would try to make it sound like I neglected healthcare to my son, blah blah blah...

SO that's why we go. I don't take Noah to the dr when he's sick...Jesus and I take care of him







I have a hard time saying stuff when ppl do something to me or family members..not because I'm scared, but because I'm usually so shocked I can't speak! But I'm gonna make it a point not to let ANYONE touch Noah without my full permission and me knowing EXACTLY what they are touching and why. Hmph!

I feel so guilty I didn't say something then


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## gurumama

The only reason they check my sons' penii is to see if the testicles have descended. DS2 is intact and just had his 12 month check up and she checked to see if the testicles had come down yet, but left the foreskin alone.


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## kater07

Well, I have been told multiple times recently that DS won't play alone or sit for even 5 mins in his pack n play without getting hysterical because "You are a sucker and he knows it". I don't use the PNP a lot, just now and then when DS is getting into things that aren't safe and I need ot get them put away without having to worry about him.

DH uses it when he works in the garage and DS sits in it and plays for long periods of time and watches Dada.

Gee thanks mom. I am glad that being a good mom and attending to my hysterical child is considered being a sucker.


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## Justice2

I never even thought to check into circ's. When ds was born in Feb (my little man is 8 weeks old, Lord, where did the time go) I asked Dh what we should do regarding circ. He said that we would do it. So, ok, we did it. It was the single most horrible thing that I have ever done to my child. I WILL NEVER FORGET his pain and will always carry a guilt around about it. That being said, when we went to the doc for his 2 week check up (wonderful peds at this office) we happened to get the same doc that preformed the circ. When she checked that it had healed properly and I told her how miserable we both were for the week that it was healing her reply was "It wouldn't hurt my feelings one damn bit for the AAP to do away and make this entire proceedure illegal (when done for cosmetic reasons)" When I questioned her about it, hygiene and all, her response was "God made a man that way, what could possibly be dirty about that?"

I love my Pediatrian!

I WILL NEVER put another one of my children through that, I don't care if they don't look alike and like their daddy.


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## Quirky

Justice, I think your pediatrician should feel guilty, not you. If she believed that there were no medical reasons to do it, only cosmetic, did she inform you of that before the procedure? Did she inform you of the risks? Of the pain your son would suffer? Of the fact that 40% of his erogenous tissue is now permanently gone? Certainly as a parent you had an obligation to inform yourself of the consequences of circumcision, but in this society circumcision is still the norm and still thought of by most people as harmless, so how were you to know any different if the doctor performing the procedure didn't tell you otherwise?

Your doctor, however, obviously knew ahead of time that the surgery was unnecessary and painful, but didn't bother to inform you, which I find grossly negligent. I think she violated medical ethics by performing this surgery on your son without your informed consent (and certainly not his). Oh, and she didn't refund the money she made off the procedure, did she? I personally would have a hard time continuing to see a ped who was willing to hurt my baby for money and not even try to talk me out of it ahead of time.








Don't feel guilty, mama, now that you know better you'll do better for your next son, to paraphrase Maya Angelou.

I'm sorry to be so harsh, but this really makes me so mad. I would fire that pediatrician in a minute - and consider suing her.


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## Justice2

Thank you for getting so worked up on my behalf. Dh and I DID give our consent to the procedure and knew when it was taking place. We didn't speak to the doc before hand though. I think that she was under the impression that we had fully educated ourselves before consent was given. She really, truly is a wonderful doc and very supportive of us and our concerns. I am so very lucky to be apart of a community (you all) now where I am taught the difference in needs and wants. If dh and I had known what circ would do to our son, it's certainly not something we would have done.


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## Nemmer

I've read this thread laughing and getting irate at some of the things people have said to you ladies! I have gotten some of the same comments, but not nearly as bad as some of you!

The one I hate the most and get most often is the spoiling comment. My MIL would tell me that every time she talked to me, it seems! Anytime on the phone she heard him crying, it was "He needs to learn he can't demand things of you, let him cry a little," or "I'm sure by now he knows you love him, it's time for him to learn you can't always be there." He's only 11 months now, and this was several months ago -- he was probably 5-6 mos at both of those comments! She would tell complete strangers, when introducing me, that this baby was spoiled rotten. And as timid as I am, I could never come up with a comeback till much later. He was 2 mos old and I was holding him during a nap, and she asked if I wanted to put him down. I said no thanks, and she replied that I was going to spoil that baby. I said no I won't. And she replied, "I know you don't think you will, but you will." That's probably what I hate most. We waited 8 years to adopt our son, so everyone assumes we don't know what we're doing. We hear comments all the time, about my AP ideas like cosleeping and adoptive nursing, that we'll change our minds once we get a few more. As if I'm doing these things purely to indulge myself or something! Like I haven't had 8 years to decide exactly what kind of parent I want to be.

MIL also gave me the "babies need to cry to expand their lungs" comment. Honestly at first I thought, "She IS a nurse..." but immediately my heart told me it was a bunch of nonsense. At the very most, maybe they need to expand their lungs when first born to get the fluid out, but certainly not at 3 months! (which is what I finally told her later, when she said it again)

Oh, and the strangers/family grabbing the baby has been one of my biggest frustrations all along, too. There have even been people at church that would hold him and then tell me "You're never getting him back, you know." OH! That would steam me! Maybe it is because I waited so long for him, but I still think that's just a rude comment. And of course it is always the people that I don't really like anyway who say stuff like that. One of those same people, just a few days ago, asked if she could take him overnight sometime to give DH and I a night alone! He's 11 months!! I just politely told her he is not ready for overnights, but wanted to add "especially with COMPLETE STRANGERS TO HIM!"

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent a little! Its nice to know I'm not the only one who has to deal with this stuff!







:


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## Evergreen

I was told I had to wipe out my breastfed baby's mouth with a warm washcloth after EVERY feeding so that she would not get thrush. Could you imagine doing that? THe same girl who told me this was also constantly telling me that Dylan was hungry bc she was sucking on her hands. "Thats the problem with breastfeeding, you can never tell how much food they are really getting." Grrr, she wasn't hungry, she was 2.5 months and had just discovered her hands!


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## Xenogenesis

I know what Jane was saying. According to The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) :

_to make an informed choice, parents of all male infants should be given accurate information and be provided the opportunity to discuss this decision with their pediatrician.

-and-

"we encourage parents to discuss the benefits and risks of circumcision with their pediatrician, and then make an informed decision about what is in the best interest of their child," says Carole Lannon, M.D., MPH, FAAP, chair of the AAP's Task Force on Circumcision._

Doctors are well aware what this entails yet repeatedly neglect to provide accurate information on the function of the foreskin and the risks of the cosmetic surgery to remove it from the child without his opinion on the matter. These doctors should be reported when they give the spiel after the fact.


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## rwikene

my doctor told me that he WOULDN'T do a circ! I would have to find someone else to do it







His sons are intact!

Actually, if we would have had a boy instead of DD we had thought we would just automatically do a circ, DH is circ'd....but b/c our dr said that it made us look into it further....


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## feelin' froggy

I actually had an entire stupid conversation. And since I can remember it, it MUST have been stupid because I can't remember anything anymore.









I was in a stationary store getting Baptism invites with my son, who was 3 months at the time. The woman making the invites had recently had a baby so naturally we started chatting.

Stupid thing #1 - "You must have a had a c/s since he was so big. My baby was over 8 lbs so I had to have one too."

My reply: Nooooooooo, I delivered him fine and he was 9lbs 10oz.

Stupid thing #2 - You can't bf a baby that big for so long. You won't make enough milk.

My reply: Don't tell him that! He'd get really pissed.

And the mac daddy stupid thing:

"You have to start them on solids or they'll never take to them. "

My reply: So you think he'll still be bf'ing when he goes to college? Tuition will be awfully expensive for 2 of us.


----------



## Chi-Chi Mama

:LOL
























I love this thread!

not that I enjoy reading about the crap people have given you, it's just that I can't help but laugh at some people's sheer ignorance and stupidity!

and Marianne, welcome!!!!!


----------



## feelin' froggy

> _Originally posted by Chi-Chi Mama_
> 
> and Marianne, welcome!!!!!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Thanks!!!


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## FroNuff

I've gotten all the same stupid comments that you guys have had, but two other things stick out in my head....

I had to make a very brief trip into a beauty supply store where a lady came over to see DD. She came over and said in one breath, "What a beautiful baby! Can I hold her?" with her arms stretched out! When I told the lady no, she looked shocked. Did it ever occur to her that SHE'S A STRANGER TO ME????







:

The second thing was when I started reading "Your Baby's First Year Week by Week". I think within the first couple of pages it says that one should gently retract the baby's foreskin to clean it! I don't even have a boy, but I couldn't return that book to B&N fast enough!

Ok, I just thought of a really stupid conversation that I had with a now former priest friend (yes, I'm ending our friendship because he's stupid). He told me that by cosleeping, I'm kicking DH out of the bed and making him resent all of us. He told us our relationship will certainly suffer because I won't just force Alicia to be in her crib. When I told him that he had an awful lot of crap to spout off for someone with no kids or a wife, he said "well I counsel a lot of couples, so I just *know*." WTFever.







:


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## MelissaEvans

Great councel. *sigh*







:


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## kater07

What would possess someone to give a baby they've never met cake?

Yes, DS is fine, and YES, I gave him cake first, but ...

I am not really upset b/c I know he's ok. I just wonder why someone would give a baby cake with eggs, milk, etc etc in it without first cosulting the mom. I was standing right behind DS just not looking at him when it happend.

Sheesh...I sure am glad I knew he'd be ok.


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## seraph

Aside from the sleeping through the night question, most people ask me if my six week old is a good baby. WTF? Aren't all babies good babies? I've started answering "yes, she's very good at being a baby".


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## Alegria

Quote:

_Originally posted by seraph_
*Aside from the sleeping through the night question, most people ask me if my six week old is a good baby.*

No, but I got her six weeks ago and I lost the receipt!:LOL


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## simcon

These are so fun! I've also gotten the good baby, sleeping through the night, etc ones--I'm so glad to see the comebacks here. My favorite dumb thing someone (who knows me) said when I told them that I was pregnant was "was it planned?" Annoying question anyway, but the person *knows* my partner is a woman--um, be a bit difficult for it not to be, dontcha think???

Rae, mom to Maddie, 2/26/03


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## reilly's momma

Quote:

_Originally posted by simcon_
*My favorite dumb thing someone (who knows me) said when I told them that I was pregnant was "was it planned?" Annoying question anyway, but the person *knows* my partner is a woman--um, be a bit difficult for it not to be, dontcha think???*
You could've said, "No, it was immaculate conception, Jesus decided to be raised by lesbians in this incarnation." :LOL


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## lyns99

I have been lmao reading these. They make my day. Here are a couple of mine:

My godmother was visiting and during dinner one night, ds was starting to fuss a bit. We had just been talking about bfing, and she said "maybe he isn't getting enough from you". I almost burst into tears. I had struggled with sore, bleeding nipples for five weeks and that was the last thing I needed to add to my worries. Besides, he's been growing like a weed, so I know this is not an issue!







:

A friend of mine was pg at the same time I was and we were discussing bfing. She said she was going to bf AND ff because she didn't think babies got enough from just bfing.







: I asked her how she thought the human race had survived until now. She just laughed.

I'm sure there will be more!

-lyns99


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## mamapixie

My sister has come up with some doozies. Just recently, I was on the phone with her, and Jonny was nursing, and he unlatched half way, and kinda bit me. She said "serves you right for still nursing him. You know if you weaned him now, mom could watch him over night so you could go out." Keep in mind, my DH is in Korea, and I have no desire to go out to some lousy bars, run into alcoholics that I went to high school with, by myself.

And then her telling me that my oldest is ADHD, and I should have him drugged. This from someone who got pregnant JUST because I was pregnant(and this is a fact, she told a friend she was going to get pregnant because I was getting all the attention)and who refused to acknowledge that her son was not doing well on regular formula(even after I got him soy formula, and he did 10x better with it)so would not ask the doctor to give her a recommendation to wic to change his formula. Oh yeah, and her 7yo(her son and mine are 3months apart) has recently started pooping his pants, and no one but me thinks that it's psychological(the poor kid has told my mother "I wish I'd never been born")

And I've been asked a couple of times now how old my "girl" is. Granted, he's got light brown wavy hair, and gorgeous blue eyes, but c'mon!! I was asked once when my oldest was with me, and he looked at me like "mom, that lady is crazy!"


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## kater07

Just had someone tell me that their DF wants to keep their unborn child intact, but she said "the heck if I am doing that to my kid". WT Heck??? I lost it on her. I asked her if she'd be cutting off her daughter's clit if it was a girl. She looked at me like I was nuts.

I calmed down and explained. Then I sent her a BUNCH of info on intact babies.

Poor unborn baby. I really hope she has a girl, just so that they can't do that.

I am going to start collecting no-circ stuff and fill her baby shower basket with that, breastfeeding, and attached parenting stuff. I will also give her some AIOs that I make and other things.

At least I still have time to convince her that this shouldn't even be a discussion. Her family is very into their faith, and so I pitched in the GOD made him PERFECT.... I cringe


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## StarMama

Woo! I've got a new one regarding circ'ing too! I've been telling a few people that we aren't circ'ing (mainly to relate a story about my MIL asking if we were and I said NO so strongly she hasn't argued with me about it!) and EVERYONE is like "You aren't? But why?" So I've been doing a lot of trying to educate others on that no, its not cleaner, no, an uncircumsized baby isn't going to get more infections, circ'ing removes a lot of a man's sensitivity, ect.

But the WORST comment I got was from a friend who actually had a discussion with his sorta girlfriend on the matter and came back saying "Me and her think that circ'ing is still the best just because it looks better. She also said 'isn't it sensitive enough'. Uncircumsized penises are ugly."







: Like how in the world is his impression of my son's penis at all important?? All this in front of his best friend, my Dh who really isn't circ'ed (he was born in france, and his mom wanted them to do it, even though the doctors said they didn't really know how... so only the tiny tip of his foreskin was snipped. He still looks intact and has about 80% of the intact sensitivity remaining... only reason you KNOW its been snipped is a scar when he retracts).

This same guy was also the one who said "so the baby doesn't remember it" when I told him that they either don't numb the penis beforehand, or that the anesthesia they use isn't effective. Geez, if I get mad at my baby can I pinch him really hard to get my anger out? He won't remember it later.







:









Ok end rant.







Thanks for listening!


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## MelissaEvans

Along the same lines, a preggo friend due next month is having a boy. She mentioned they were going to circ him and I asked if she did any homework on it. She said she did. I mentioned "so you know it's not medically necessary nor is it even the social abosute norm any more" "yeah" "and it hurts" "yeah, but we're still going to do it" WTF? I always thought it was a parent's job to protect their kids! Silly me! I used to visit her a lot, but we obviously have different philosophies on how babies should be treated, so I'm thinking that'll be one of our last visits.

Please note, the reason this upset me is because she said she did the homework, she knows it doesn't do any good, she knows it hurts, and she's perfectly ok with it and planning ahead of time to have it done (pre-meditated abuse with no remorse). This is very different from the moms who didn't know it was an issue and didn't have an opportunity to do any research.

~Melissa


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## Unreal

okay--I just have to share this one (Can't let a good thread die, right?)

I was at the pool the other morning for ds1's swimming lesson. There are, of course, a cluster of other local moms there. One asked how old ds2 was, and I responded that he was 4 months. She was shocked (he is a BIG kid--21 lbs, 27.5 inches) and asked what foods he was eating.
I told her that he was still nursing and hadn't had any solids yet
and she then asked:
"But he will, right?"































I said "Oh, yeah" before I really processed what she asked. I mean....what am I going to do, send him to college with a bunch of frozen milk??


----------



## Crunchier

When my son was born, people kept telling me that he was beautiful because dh and I did a "good job".







I didn't understand that. What exactly did we do, beside have sex? It isn't like I went to the baby dealership and custom ordered him.


----------



## Crunchier

I didn't tell her the exact "day" so they won't try to hold me to it







Gotta love her







[/B][/QUOTE]

When I told my mom I was due 2 days before my dad's bday, she told me that I had to wait the 2 extra days !







: My mom, she's full of them







:


----------



## Crunchier

Quote:

_Originally posted by Shenjall_
*Dont forget the "was this pregnancy planned?" questions.*

My son was a surprise at a very bad time in our lives. We had been trying for a year, had one mc , were living in Japan, and I was about to move to Vegas(where we know no one) w/o dh, who would remain in Japan for another 3 months. We stopped tyring and I was pg 2 weeks later.

Because I had mc, we didn't want to tell anyone. I was talking to a friend who worked with dh and me in a CLINIC about how I didn't know if this was a good thing. A coworker overheard us, went to dh, who I hadn't even talked to about it yet, and told him congratulations. He said on what. This guy told him I was pg! He already knew that, but pretended that he didn't. He threatened this guy with violation of the privacy act.

I could NOT believe anyone would do such a thing.


----------



## mamabeth

Gotta keep this thread going...what amazing, sad, but hilarious stories.

Here's mine:

When my dd was a week old, I took her in for a weight check to the ped's office (chosen too quickly bc we ran out of time). She had lost a half an ounce from her lowest weight (which, I might add, was nine lbs 13 oz and she was 10 lbs 9 oz at birth). He whipped out the formula so fast it made my head spin, and told me I had to supplement her after every feeding and that "since your baby lost weight, you have *no choice*, you have to supplement!" Excuse me? So, and here's the kicker, I said to him, "won't that make my milk supply go down?" and he looked me in the eye and said

"No, it won't."









I walked out of there and never went back. We went to an LLL recommended ped who pronounced dd just fine, told me to work on increasing my supply with a pump, finally (after a month with no weight gain) told me to supplement with 2 oz a day of either EBM or formula, and lectured me on how I needed to keep bf her on demand. We *love* him.

Peace,
Beth and baby Miriam 1/5/03


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## Crunchier

It really bugs me when those people who you just had to steal your baby back from to "feed her" come and expect you to give the baby back as soon as you are done feeding her

I really hate this. My dh's grandmother(who we will be living with for a short time) does this. She also calls him "my baby". It drives me nuts. I feel like he doesn't even belong to me.


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## Crunchier

> _Originally posted by Shenjall_
> *Everytime the temp drops here (like every day..) my mother will call me in the am and ask "Did you dress those kids warm?! Hat? Mitts? What about a scarf? Did you put a scarf on them?"
> 
> My mom drove me crazy with this. My son was born in December. I bundled him up good and went out for a walk everyday when it wasn't freezing. My mom called me everyday to see if I was getting enough rest(which I never did by her standards) and freaked out about me taking him out in the cold. Yeah it was cold, but I wasn't going to freeze my baby!*


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## happy_mama35

I was just spurred to share another dumb thing based on Christy1980's post of always hearing the "what are you having?" question while pg. We didn't want to know the baby's sex, we both wanted a surprise/confirmation of our baby vibes.
Anyway, when asked that question we'd answer either "A baby" (boy, does that take someone off-guard) or my DH would answer "A golfer." (He is plays golf and has hopes our DD will, too.) One nurse at the childbirth center then responded, "Oh, so you're having a boy?" I wonder in what community she lives that doesn't allow women to play golf.


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## laralou

The dumbest thing I have heard is "well, I did it with _______ and it didn't kill/hurt them." in regards to anything (CIO, eating ice cream at 8 mos, etc). I always want to say, well if you gave a baby a cigarette, you wouldn't be able to tell it hurt them years later, but it doesn't mean it was good for them.


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## captain optimism

One of my coworkers asked me whether I was giving the baby juice, and I replied with a (possibly overly detailed :LOL) description of my research on the subject. Another coworker, a woman in her early 20s with no children, made some (she thought) innocuous comment about how funny it was people didn't follow child-rearing advice manuals for centuries and all the children survived it.

"Actually," I said, "many children didn't survive their childhoods. There were many childhood illnesses. That was the origin of the first mass childrearing books, that people were eager for more scientific childrearing because they were afraid of their children catching polio or diptheria. And of course, many more children in the last three generations died from SIDS or in car accidents because of what we didn't know about back sleeping, not smoking around the baby, and proper child restraints."

That comment about how "we did X and it never hurt us" is stupid beyond belief. As soon as you probe below the surface in a kindly way, they always admit that in fact it did hurt them or people they knew.


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## laralou

Mothering has a really good article this month to use for why we pick them up/hold them/never let them cry. It is called the Science of Attachment. It talks about how negative experiences in infancy can impair the brain's ability to develop properly.


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## Christy1980

anytime you question someone's ideas or their "basic truths" which are actually old wive's tales or downright social lies, they always look embarassed, then shocked, then they get defensive about it. No matter how polite you are, they always get defensive.

found another one to add to the list:

Today at work, this child was screaming about not wanting the clothes her mom was going to buy her, (she was about 3 yo), litereally screaming at the top of her lungs "NO I DON'T WANT IT! I HATE YOU! GO AWAY! LEAVE ME ALONE! I HATE YOU!" then the mother screamed back "SHUT UP! I'M TIRED OF YOUR SH*T TODAY! YOU'RE GETTING THE CLOTHES I PICKED FOR YOU, DEAL WITH IT!"

One of the ladies at work said to me, "I hope you won't let your kids act like that in public." I asked her, "Do I act like that kid's mom in public?" she said no, and I said "so where do you think the kid learned it from?" She was like, "oh I guess you're right."


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## hypatia

Quote:

_Originally posted by happy_mama35_
*my DH would answer "A golfer." (He is plays golf and has hopes our DD will, too.) One nurse at the childbirth center then responded, "Oh, so you're having a boy?" I wonder in what community she lives that doesn't allow women to play golf.*
Maybe Augusta, Georgia?


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## ocelotmom

Both my mother and MIL have asked what we hope DS (2 weeks old at the time) will be when he grows up! We answer "Human" or "Happy". Why in the world would we think we could figure out what a newborn will want to do with his life?

I was looking at someone else's ultrasound pictures at work. My co-worker asked, "Is that our baby?" I was too shocked to respond with anything except "No."

DH was in the grocery store, carrying DS in his sling. A women came up to him and started telling him how she got a stroller for the house because picking the baby up to carry her from room to room would spoil her!


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## Corriander

I have loved reading this thread. Some posts are so funny and some so sad.

I have to say though that if anyone ever said anything so stupid of funny to me about childrearing then I just don't remember it. I hear people talk about the rude comments they get from strangers or family member and it just amazes me that people can be so tackless. But maybe no one has EVER said anything like that to me - my dh says that I have an aura around me that radiates, "don't f*ck with me!" so that's why I never get these comments.

Oh! and GOOD ONE hypatia!


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## DawnJ

the worst thing anyone has said to me was "you don't need to feed her that much. Just hold off on a feeding or two." and this came from my daughters Pediatrician! When she was 2 weeks old because she gained a pound + after birth.

dawn
mommie to
A & L


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## Sabrin

Good Grief!! I cannot believe how many stupid and annoying people are out there in the world!!

I really wish that I had not weaned my now 19 month old at 14 months. I was very sick with my pregnancy and COULD NOT get up twice nightly to nurse. I would just love to go out with her and nip. I kept hoping that someone would make a comment. Other than some sideways looks, nothing much. Darn! I would have loved to tell someone to go [email protected] OFF!!









DH says I'm a stinker


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## pjlioness

Quote:

_Originally posted by DawnJ_
*the worst thing anyone has said to me was "you don't need to feed her that much. Just hold off on a feeding or two." and this came from my daughters Pediatrician! When she was 2 weeks old because she gained a pound + after birth.*






































Well, this Dr.'s knowlege about bf obviously needs a bit of fine tuning! I wonder how many parents followed that advice (assuming you aren't the only one who heard it)?


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## sunmountain

A friend of mine recently suffered from a bad case of mastitis, when on the fourth day she woke up with a 104* fever, she went to the ER (it was a Sunday).
The doctor told her...
1. STOP NURSING
2. TAKE THESE ANTIBIOTICS WHICH COULD OR COULD NOT BE SAFE FOR THE BABY IF SHE DECIDED NOT TO FOLLOW HIS ADVICE ON #1
3. when asked how safe the antibiotics were, he responded... "SAFER THAN STAPH-INFECTED MILK FROM A MOTHER WHO DOESN'T KNOW ANY BETTER!"
He yelled at her, berated her, had her in tears, in fact while she was telling me this she was crying she was still so upset.
Now I ask you, *who* doesn't know any better? A mom who read the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding and knows it's OK to keep nursing with the infection, or a doctor who thinks the milk is poisoned by Staph? (He actually used the word "poisoned" at one point during their conversation)

oh, yeah, he gave her Amoxicillian (sp?) and when she saw the script *she* told *him* it was ok for her to take.

Honestly, some doctors should just go into research if they are going to treat patients like that


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## Unreal

Quote:

_Originally posted by pjlioness_
*





































Well, this Dr.'s knowlege about bf obviously needs a bit of fine tuning! I wonder how many parents followed that advice (assuming you aren't the only one who heard it)?*
I did with ds1









I took him in for a check up and they told me he was gaining weight too fast and I needed to stop feeding him so often and get him on a schedule! Oh yeah, and I had to give him cereal if he wanted to nurse so much. And I listened to them!!!























I went to a different dr when they started talking about "When I wean him at 9 months". I was









I mean....the American Pediatric Association or whoever had just at that point published all this stuff about the benefits of extended breastfeeding....







:

I ended up nursing ds till he was just about 2....but I still HATE that I listened to those idiot doctors in that first office.


----------



## Isabel

I have two good ones:

While pregnant, my sister told me not to reach above my head because the cord might strangle the baby.

My cousin told me that I should not bf past 8 months because it will give DS psychological problems.

I never have good come backs but these posts have given me great ideas! Thanks for the great laughs.


----------



## hipumpkins

What a great thread. I haven't read all of it but I am really enjoying the great comments.
When I went back to work part time a woman who didn't even know me b/c i was on maternity leave when she was hired saw me with pump and said, "Oh you're still breastfeeding?" Proud as a peacock, "I said, "yup"
She said, "Oh you will be so happy when you finally switch to formula...it is like going from skim milk to ice cream"
I called my mom that day when I got home and asked her if all babies go on formula eventually...(she breastfed me and my sister)
She, of course told me, "NO"








*********************************
I was also told that the baby has to cry to exercise her lungs..since I don't like to exercise I don't make my baby do it either


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## Summer

Quote:

_Originally posted by hipumpkins_
*I was also told that the baby has to cry to exercise her lungs..since I don't like to exercise I don't make my baby do it either







*
The great answer to that one is "Sure! Just like bleeding exercises the veins!"







I don't remember where I read that but I stole it from someone.


----------



## Island Mommy

The worst comment I received was from my mom's cousin (a man). DD was very colicky, even though we did all the AP stuff. I was exhausted and hormonal.

This man, knowing full well I was breastfeeding, said "What are you doing to make her cry so much...feeding her substandard milk?"

I was devastated...gave dd to my dh and quickly walked into the bathroom to have a good cry. However, at 6 months I am still feeding her this substandard milk...she's thriving!


----------



## Sabrin

Island Mommy....

I would have SMACKED him!!









I'm so sorry that someone would have said something so mean to you. GRRRR Stupid and mean people make me MAD!!

I hope you are able to nurse you sweet one for a long time to come.

*Grumble grumble substandard milk indeed grumble grumble*


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## neveryoumindthere

k i'll admit i didnt read thru the whole thread..i will sometime...but here's mine..

this lady i know told me that i should mix water and SALT to clean dd's genital area

OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i didnt say anything..i just looked at her...what the heck??!?!
what do u say to that..and she has 3 kids..(she's in her 40's--very very good family friend and i totally love her) but all i could think of was her poor kids

anotehr one which i think might be common is when my MIL told me i should 'start her early giving her juice and water' (dd was like 3 or 4 weeks at the time)...i told her no i'm not gonna fill her tiny tummy up with those thigns when my milk has all she needs and that it's not like i'll have a hard time getting my kids to drink water and juice later


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## Corvus

Well, I HAVE read the whole thread. (What else am I going to do while my daughter naps on me because she wakes up every time I put her down??)

I have two stories.

First is the sad/mean one. I had an ultrasound at 20 weeks. Thankfully, they found no problems. Our daughter looked perfectly healthy, and we did find out that she was a girl.

Anyway, I brought the ultrasound picture to work with me to show some interested co-workers. I was showing someone who was at my desk. Someone (childless) in the cubicle near me heard us talking and realized what we were doing. She came over and said, "I wanna see! Is everything ok? Are all the parts there?"

I just glared and ignored her. I wanted to cry. What if I HAD been told that something might be wrong?? And even though I had been told everything seemed fine, it still hurt me deeply. What kind of insensitive remark is that? How could she talk about my baby's body as though it were a machine with "parts"?

Second is when I was talking to yet another childless co-worker about how we were going to attempt a completely natural, drug-free birth. I talked with confidence about this, including all the research I had done about interventions. I also said, "I don't want an epidural because of the drugs, but also because I can't stand the idea of a needle in my spine. I'd rather deal with the pain than deal with that." She said to me, "Trust me. When you're in labor, you'll want the epidural."

Huh? I'm going to take the word of someone who has never been through labor and childbirth? (And even if she HAD been through labor, how would she know what I can and can't handle in labor? Why would she try to discourage me from my goals?)

I just didn't respond and changed the subject. (I'm pleased to say that I did NOT have the epidural. No judgment on those who did use one. I'm just happy that I planned to do it without the epi, and I did.)


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## roseselene

I'm new here and let me just say that I'm so glad I found this forum. It's great! The stupidest thing I think I've heard came from our then pediatrician who is not our pediatrician anymore. DD is 7 months old. She never latched on, so I've been pumping and feeding EBM from day one. At our 4 month appointment, when the pediatrician found out that that was the way she was getting her breast milk, he looked at me like I was insane. He said "ya know, the formulas they make these days are just like breast milk, you don't have to do that, your baby still needs a mother, so you don't need to waste your time with that."
WHATEVER!


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## jannan

my husbands aunt told me to give dd chicken fat for her cough. I'm like "what the hell.........." i also got the thing about crying was good for her lungs.


----------



## Justice2

a friend of our told us a couple of weeks ago that if I threw my 5 month old baby into the pool that he would be able to hold his breath and swim because he had been holding his breath while he was inside of me????







:


----------



## dotcommama

I can't help be amazed by people's ignorance when I read this thread - not to mention people's complete rudeness!

Quote:

_Originally posted by Justice2_
*because he had been holding his breath while he was inside of me????







:*








: This person really thinks the baby's been holding his breath inside for 9 month? - DUH!
















Quote:

_Originally posted by Island Mommy_
*This man, knowing full well I was breastfeeding, said "What are you doing to make her cry so much...feeding her substandard milk?"*
You should have said, "Substandard Milk? No! - I'm _not_ using formula. I thought you knew I breastfed."









Quote:

_Originally posted by hipumpkins_
*. . . .is like going from skim milk to ice cream"*
Wouldn't you have loved to say, "Well nutritionally speaking, you're probably right."







:


----------



## martiesmom

This is something that I will never forgive my SIL for saying and something that still burns me today.

Two months before Martie was conceived I had a miscarriage. SIL said that it was God's way of telling me that I was too young to have a child (I was 26 at the time). Then she told me how horrible it is to be a mom. How hard it is to have a kid. How your life it ruined and that if I did have a child I'd regret. I wish I had something to say back to her but I was in shock. Not only did she say this once but repeated it over and over at a family bbq.

Not once have I ever regretted having my child, even at 2:00 in the morning when she was screaming her head off. I am still pissed off at SIL and was shocked to learn recently that she is pregnant by her choice. It saddens me that someone who has such an negative view of motherhood (I've even heard her call her child an a$$hole to his face when he was 2) conceive when I have so many friends who would be wonderful parents have such a hard time conceiving.


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## Sabrin

People like that should be SHOT and put us out of our misery!! Geez....I hope I never run into her. I would probably be very very mean.


----------



## hipumpkins

Quote:

Wouldn't you have loved to say, "Well nutritionally speaking, you're probably right."
Yes...I wish I had all the info I have now!!

When I was pregnant and people would ask me..."Do you know what you're having?" I would answer..."I am pretty sure it is a baby but my husband is rooting for a puppy"


----------



## hipumpkins

Quote:

Just the other day I went to Wal-Mart and put my baby in his infant car seat over the seat part of the cart since he was sleeping too soundly for me to want to put him in his sling. I was shopping and minding my own business when some woman stopped me and asked if the seat was secure up there. I really wanted to say, "Nope, sometimes he just bounces right off," but I was polite and showed her that there's a safety catch to prevent it from ever falling.
I just ran across that and it made laugh out loud!!


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## MelissaEvans

Quote:

a friend of our told us a couple of weeks ago that if I threw my 5 month old baby into the pool that he would be able to hold his breath and swim because he had been holding his breath while he was inside of me????
My mom tried to get me to let my 9mo go underwater too! She said that babies naturally know to hold their breath. "Haven't you heard of water babies? Babies can swim!" Sure mom. Does that make it any les terrifiying when you can't breathe and can't change the situation? I've decided she won't be taking any of my kids swimming without me. Water Babies is a brand of sunblock, and I'm happy to keep it that way.


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## veganmamma

Babies really do have an instinct to hold their breath. They instinctively do know how to swim. I would recommend you read We Are All Water Babies By Michel Odent. It is an awesome book and talks about how to gently teach your child to swim using the instincts they already have. While you should NEVER throw a baby in the pool, they really are water babies.

Lauren
eta: My 8 m/o dd goes underwater in the pool and the tub and has been holding her breath underwater since before 3 months old. When I was a baby my mom did swimming classes with me where at 6 months I was totally submerged w/o major trauma. There are gentle ways to be with your child in the water and swimming is an enjoyable exercise. My dd loves it. She has had moments where she was afraid, but we were always present with her. They were not intrinsic to the learning to swim process, they were b/c of things like splashes and fast movements. Dunking and having water on her face are fun things for my dd. Your mom may have heard about other babies who are swimming like my dd. It doesn't mean she would know how to be with her in the water though.
L


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## laralou

You have to start young with the underwater stuff. It does not work on an older baby. Google it.


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## veganmamma

Starting young does help, but there are swim classes for babies that don't even start until 6 months so there is still hope even for the older baby.

Once the baby is older than 3 months they lose some of their awesome underwater reflexes and instincts, but they can still learn some underwater skills, even breath holding. ( though this is sometimes considered controversial. ) There is the age old face blowing technique, but I personally think that's pretty mean.

I'll have to get my Water babies book back and see what it is Michel Odent says about older babies again.









Laralou> Did you do swimming with any of your kids? It seems like ti would be so hard to do with twins, but then again everything seems like it would be hard with twins. You are an amazing woman.








L


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## Chi-Chi Mama

we just started 'swimming' classes for dd last week. (she's 21 months, and we wanted to start a long time ago, but didn't)

anyway, on day 1 the teacher wanted the parents to let kids go under water. I refused, because dd was uneasy (I just said it didnt' seem like dd was ready for that, so we'll go slower) Day 2 dd let me put her face in the water for a few seconds and then actually swam to me underwater - two feet or so, but still) She was scared when she got to me, so I didn't repeat. it. Day 3 dh went with her, and said she didn't want to go to the instructor to then swim to dh, so they let her be. Today, day 4, she 'swam' the few feet under water to dh. He said over the half hour class she started crying twice (the second time because she didn't want to leave the pool at the end







) but most of the time she was laughing and smiling.

sorry this turned out to be so long... I'm not saying just dunk your kids in the water, but there is such a thing as teaching young babies to swim.

we're getting the other end of the spectrum now, one of my co-workers was saying "oh cool, now you won't have to watch her every move at the pool or the beach, you can just relax"














: yeah, I'm going to just let me not even two year old to her own devices around water because she's been to a few lessons and can move a few feet underwater.







:


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## candiland

Wow, I have so many dumb things racked up at this point, I don't know where to begin.
Here's a few:
I was several months preggo, and a woman asked me where I was having my baby. I told her at home. She told me how dangerous it was, and how I or my baby could die by having a homebirth. She had watched a show on it







: Just what I needed to hear when I was ready to give birth. Not that it really affected me; I thought she was incredibly rude and stupid and continued to tell her how dangerous hospital births were.
My sister, telling me that my strictly BF baby probably got really thirsty and that I should at least give him a bottle of water sometimes.







: "Isn't all that breastmilk FATTENING?" Exact quote, swear to God.
About my son: "He's UNCIRCUMCISED?" "No, he is INTACT." "You know, that is so disgusting. Uncirc'd penises are gross and no one will ever want to have sex with him."







:
Oh, good, I was hoping he'd become a monk or priest, anyway.


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## IntoTheRoseGarden

I just found this board and I love it! This thread is great. I think I have heard so much about dd being spoiled, that it is time to wean her, etc., but these stand out:

When I was about 8 mos pg, we were at dairy queen and the man(boy) in front of us asked me when I was due, do I told him. He turned to his pg dp and said "wow...you're as big as she is and you're not due until december....I told you you were getting fat!" I was so embarrassed and I wanted to slap him for her!

More than a few of the rude comments have come from my 15-yo sister (b/c she knows so much about being a parent!) She was disgusted when she found out I planned to bf. When I was in the hospital, 2 or 3 days after birth we were having a hard time bf and a nurse I had never met came in to "help". I was trying to tell her that something was wrong, that we had done better the day before, but she dismissed my concerns and proceeded to shove my breast into dd's mouth. I was more than a little snippy with her, and my sister actually yelled at me b/c I "didn't have to be so rude to the nurse" I was just frustrated b/c she wasn't listening to me. It turned out my milk had come in and I was engorged, making it hard for the baby to latch on. When they finally brought me a breast pump (several hours later, after many requests), Delia latched on and nursed like a champ. Anyway, my mother defended my sister and still talks about how "hormonal" I was!


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## sunmountain

my ds3 used to push away from me when I started taking him into the pool at 4mo. He LOVED going under water and swimming around. It was actually really difficult to keep him in my arms, and after a few confrontations with the lifeguards at the Y they finally stopped bugging me about it and realized he was doing it on his own, I wasn't forcing the issue!

Swimming lessons are SO SO important for kids. I start mine in the water by age 6mo at the latest and the two oldest (9yo and 5yo) can swim without floaties and my 3yo is almost ready to go without now. Of course, this doesn't mean I would just let them loose without my supervision, but it does make my life a whole lot easier knowing they have those skills. we never have to turn down pool parties and swimming has become their favorite past time. I really feel sorry for kids who are 6 or 7 and can't swim









BUT you should NEVER just throw a kid/baby in the pool. That's just asinine







:


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## veganmamma

Quote:

BUT you should NEVER just throw a kid/baby in the pool. That's just asinine
ITA

Good job teaching your kis to swim!








L


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## lilabet

Hi all,

Just been lurking for a few days but can I say to anyone who is worrying about circ'ing / what other people say that in England it is in fact not the norm to be circ'ed and (although married now) have NEVER EVER SEEN a circed penis and I have had quite a few boyfriends!

The ONLY reason I am aware of that ppl would circ is if they were Jewish. (I think that's the only religion that instructs it but feel free to correct me if I'm wrong).

There really are some strange ppl if they think it is normal to chop a mans bits off......

Just wanted to let you all know that, you are in no way abnormal for leaving your little ones intact! I couldn't imagine doing that to a kid!

Lil

PS no kids yet, hopt to start ttc next year, fingers crossed!!!


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## JoAida

A lady in the grocery store yesterday had the nerve to ask me if I regretted having so many kids. (I ONLY have 3-for now anyway). I just looked at her like she was crazy, and said no, but I should have said "Yep, I was just thinking about which one I should get rid of"







:







:


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## hank's mama

Last summer I was VERY pregnant and we were at the local ice cream place and there was a mom with 2 girls, one about 10 years old and the other about 13 months old. She asked when I was due and I told her October, she looked at me and said "Enjoy being childless while you can, being a mom is hard, REALLY hard." She said this in front of BOTH children, acting as if she completely resented them. I looked at her and said "Well, we went through fertility treatments to get our baby so we feel very blessed."

Why in the world to moms think its their place to tell preggos how hard motherhood is and make it sound like its so awful? I mean, it has its rough spots but its still the BEST "job" I've ever had.


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## Jeffiner

Quote:

_This man, knowing full well I was breastfeeding, said "What are you doing to make her cry so much...feeding her substandard milk?"

_
My initial response when I read that remark was, "Who the f*ck are you, the USDA?" - and I'm Canadian :LOL

I've never breastfed (no kids yet!) so I don't know what I would say, I can only imagine. But I have what's known as a "smart mouth" and I probably would have said something along the lines of, "No, she suffers from Idiot Intolerance, and you seem to have triggered a reaction."


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## sunmountain

Quote:

"No, she suffers from Idiot Intolerance, and you seem to have triggered a reaction."

bwahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!



























































*snort*


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## steffanie3

A friend of my sister's was telling me about all of the foods her 2 1/2 month, yes month old eats. She was very proud of the fact he had been eating all of this stuff and then she said he won't eat popsicles though.









I said maybe it was too sugary for him and cold, I really wanted to tell her he shouldn't be eating anything now besides her milk. She is breastfeeding though, which is good.

Stephanie


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## wyogal

This thread is too funny!

A couple of my own:
-- When I was 38 weeks pg, my (normally supportive) mom told me "you know, there's a weight watchers just for bfing moms"... I told her since I wasn't overweight when I got knocked up, I'd probably wait and see before I joined up.

-- As an avid garage saler, I've been asked repeatedly this summer if my newborn is for sale. "How much for the baby?" I know they're joking, but it kind of creeps me out to have strangers offer money for my baby.


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## Peppamint

Quote:

-- As an avid garage saler, I've been asked repeatedly this summer if my newborn is for sale. "How much for the baby?" I know they're joking, but it kind of creeps me out to have strangers offer money for my baby.
I know, it is creepy isn't it?!







Only once did it not bother me, a man at church said that... but you should have seen the look in his eyes. His 16yo son (an only child) had died in a car wreck about a year before and you could just see the sadness in his eyes.









I mainly get comments about when am I going to start solids. Everyone knows I'll breastfeed until he quits (dd weaned herself at 20 months, I was 2mo preggo) and that we co-sleep and don't own a crib, blah blah. I just tell people, "Look at him, does he look like he needs solids?!". He was 7lb 7oz at birth and 15lb at 4mo.







Big, chunky guy. I'd say he doesn't need solids... the pure cream I'm feeding him is doing the trick!









I can't believe some of the asinine things people have said to you all!









About the most annoying thing of all I think is moms who have never breastfed giving bf advice (usually not correct either







) and people who have never had children giving parenting advice.


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## April 2007

I just HAVE to vent this, although it's not technically related to parenting. Anyone who knows about homeopathy will understad my being annoyed at this:

Parent: I can't stand the Hyland's teething tablets, they don't work now amtter how much you give them. In fact, it ended up giving my son dhiarrea because they're made out of milk and my son was just an infant and had never had cow's milk before.

Other Parent: Oh I know! I took the bottle to my baby's appointment with the pediatrician and showed it to him. When he saw the ingredients on the side he couldn't believe people would give this to their child because some of the ingredients can actually be poisonous!!

Me (thinking):







:



































:


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## Justice2

Quote:

_Originally posted by sunmountain_
*my ds3 used to push away from me when I started taking him into the pool at 4mo. He LOVED going under water and swimming around. It was actually really difficult to keep him in my arms, and after a few confrontations with the lifeguards at the Y they finally stopped bugging me about it and realized he was doing it on his own, I wasn't forcing the issue!

Swimming lessons are SO SO important for kids. I start mine in the water by age 6mo at the latest and the two oldest (9yo and 5yo) can swim without floaties and my 3yo is almost ready to go without now. Of course, this doesn't mean I would just let them loose without my supervision, but it does make my life a whole lot easier knowing they have those skills. we never have to turn down pool parties and swimming has become their favorite past time. I really feel sorry for kids who are 6 or 7 and can't swim









BUT you should NEVER just throw a kid/baby in the pool. That's just asinine







:*
I completely agree!!! My son had never been around a body of water...this had been his first time and this woman wanted me to simply toss him on in! She kept saying that with her daughter (who is my friend) she just threw her into the lake when she was about 3 months old and my friend supposedly swam right back to her. I am somehow thinking that this story was a bit embellished upon.


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## mamaley

I had a neighbor who told me that a pediatrician who has 8 children of her own told her that "when children 'throw fits', dump ice cold water on them". I did a face that looked somewhat like







and she laughed about my reaction to her husband, with me standing right there with them.

The same woman had moved to a America from another country a while back, and was always saying how Americans are way too soft on their children. One time she was trying to illustrate this and said in a mocking voice "Americans are always like 'oh, I love you' to their children".







:


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## Sabrin

Quote:

One time she was trying to illustrate this and said in a mocking voice "Americans are always like 'oh, I love you' to their children".
Um..yeah. I do!! What am I supposed to tell my children. NO!! I DO NOT LIKE YOU!!


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## Justice2

I posted this on another forum...but then realized that it fits so perfectly here. I am trying to relactate for my ds. We are going strong, but in the process he turned 5 months old and began showing a stong interest in solid foods (grabbing my fork, opening his mouth whenever I would put food into mine, ect..) so I started him on solids. Well, after about a month I noticed that he was so very constipated that it hurt me to watch him try to have a bm. Well, I told my mother (my first mistake) and she said "You need to take him off the breastmilk...that is what is causing his constipation"







:


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## sohj

Quote:

_Originally posted by Sabrin_
*Um..yeah. I do!! What am I supposed to tell my children. NO!! I DO NOT LIKE YOU!!







*
That woman sounds like an idiot; but, I know that in german, you only say "I love you" to a lover/husband/wife. If you are telling a child/parent that you love them, you say what would translate as "I have love for you". Maybe that seems like a semantic quibble, but, it can be cause for some cultural confusion. (And I know LOTS of germans who were/are loved very deeply by their parents, but they all laughed at american TV shows when the kid/parent said "I love you". It just seemed so odd to them.







: )


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## shelley4

on slinging.. my mother in law saw me carrying my newborn in our sling and said "does she like the sling?".. i said DUH.. does it look like she likes it? would i put her in it if she hated it?!?

on nursing past a year (and now tandem nursing).. if your son is old enough to ask for it, he's too old to have it. well, my newborn asks to nurse all the time!! so what if one uses crying/sucking hands and the other uses words?

on letting babies cry.. when my son was born, there was a small baby just screaming and screaming in the nursery.. i was looking at him, and the *nurse* said "i know it looks cruel, but he needs to cry like that so he can breathe". don't you think he would breathe better if he was being held/comforted, so he could take long, slow, deep breaths???


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## shelley4

oh, and one more thing.. my son is a real funny kid.. loves to laugh and goof around... my mother in law tell me at least once a WEEK.. "i remember my kids being happy, but they were never *goofy* like Kaeden.. he must get that from YOUR side of the family!" LOL. (by the way, she thinks i'm oh so strange for BF'ing, slinging, etc.. )

i think the real reason why my son has a good sense of humour (which is a great thing!), is because we LET him be funny.. she's always telling him to stop, when he's just playing around, she tells him NO more in 10 mins then he hears from me in a whole week! Not only that, but we encourage his sense of humour by actually goofy around WITH him.. what a concept, actually playing and having fun with your kids! hope he doesn't turn out too goofy like his momma!


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## pepsi

I haven't read all the replies yet. My two year old son had failure to thrive I had so many people inform me that I needed to feed him







:

I am a young mother,22 with three boys and alot of people ask me how I cope with being a single parent.When I tell them I am actually married they tell me I am to young for such a commitment

I have heard alot of stupid comments about my two boys special needs I just try my best to ignore it now


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## April 2007

Quote:

_Originally posted by pepsi_
*When I tell them I am actually married they tell me I am to young for such a commitment*
oh yes, and statistics on people who get married later in life really prove that you'll have a better commitment if you wait longer







: sheesh!


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## mamaley

Quote:

_Originally posted by Sabrin_
*Um..yeah. I do!! What am I supposed to tell my children. NO!! I DO NOT LIKE YOU!!







*
Nah, she just tells them they're weird.


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## Sabrin

T Mamaley....

Any labor stuff yet? I made DH take me walking this am, I really want this baby out!!


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## Achelois72

Dumbest things said about my parenting choices:

From my DH's best friend (a 24 yo SAHF with a 1 yo DS & 3 yo DD):
*Formula tastes so much better than breastmilk!
*Formula's better than breastmilk because it has nutrients added to it!
*We had our son & daughter on a schedule the first week home from the hospital and they both slept through the night at 6 weeks!
*If you don't put Lucas on a feeding schedule you'll regret it!
*You've got to teach your children who's in charge when they're first born!
*Start giving Lucas cereal when he's 4 weeks old; it'll help him sleep!

Aagh. So many just from one guy. He had my DH convinced we were being stupid by not putting our DS on a feeding schedule immediately. My DH & I were both in tears when he came home that night. But we stuck with our original plan--and fed on demand, of course.

Most everyone else just gives us looks...it's what's NOT said to us that makes me







sometimes. Grr.

Incidentally,44 I did have my DH read the article I gleaned from someone here on this thread about anti-Ezzo's:
http://www.ezzo.info/Voices/hfamily.htm
He ended up reading that & a bunch of testimonies in the "Voices" section and is even *more* dedicated to having Lucas in our family bed, bf, etc. That made me feel good. THanks for the link!


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## andreac

So I've finally made it through this WHOLE thread and have to add a few of my own:

When we got the "So what are you having?" question DH started answering "A puppy!"

On the whole "well we did X and you turned out fine" that we always get from the parents... I usually just remind them that cars didn't used to have seatbelts, but you use them don't you?"

We were at my inlaws for dinner the other day and my MIL (who I don't really like, she's not a bad person or anything just not my type KWIM?) (she watches DS one day a week while i'm at work) was asking about solid foods. I said we would give it a shot at 6 mos and then she asked "so will he get a REGULAR bottle then?" meaning forumla...I just played dumb. She was like 'you know formula" like somehow that is more normal!

I think so far I have been pretty lucky though!







s to those who have had mean or insensitive things said or done to them and their kids! Some people just don't get it!!!


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## MelissaEvans

Quote:

Any labor stuff yet? I made DH take me walking this am, I really want this baby out!!
This reminded me of my DH when I was very preggo with DS. It was late, and I hadn't gotten any walking in that day, so DH told me I needed to go for a walk; but he was too tired to go with me. So, at 10pm, I was out walking around the block by myself. I'll never let him live that one down. =)

(Before anyone starts thinking DH doesn't deserve the D let me explain that we live in a very safe neighborhood, I had a walkie-talkie and talked with him the whole time, and he was sick. It's not like he kicked me out to boss me around and control me or anything.)


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## mamaley

Quote:

_Originally posted by Sabrin_
*







T Mamaley....

Any labor stuff yet? I made DH take me walking this am, I really want this baby out!!







*








T

I just saw this! Nothing very exciting, though lots of prelabor for the past 2 weeks, and baby seems lower and lower. Argh! Must go walking tonight!


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## shelley4

Just this morning, I took the kids out for a walk. My 2 year old was in the stroller, my newborn in the sling. It was a cool day, but I was comfortable in just a t-shirt. My newborn was wearing a diaper shirt, sleeper, and a one piece fall coat... on top of that, in the sling. We met an old lady while we were out.. she couldn't believe that I had my newborn in a sling. "Oh poor dear, she must be so cold!" she said.. I assured her that she was well bundled. "Look at her all squished up in there!".. I told her that she was nice and cozy .. trying to be nice, although she was getting on my nerves now.. then came the bombshell.. the lady said "Oh poor thing, freezing like that.. BOY, things are different these days! We used to know to keep babies warm!" My goodness, she was acting like I was taking my newborn out in a snowstorm with nothing but a diaper on!!!! I just walked away at this point.

To think, most times, people think she must be HOT in there!


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## littleteapot

Ever since my DD was about a week old, she's been able to hold her head up fairly well. She's seven weeks old now, and only bobs when she's tired or playing. Last week DH and I were in the library with her (a building run entirely by volutenteer old folks) and we got a few 'awws' from some of the women behind the counter. As I was standing by the reference desk, DD decided to take her head off my chest and have a look around. As soon as she lifted her head one of the old ladies yelled, "SUPPORT HER HEAD, DEAR!" across the entire room. Everyone looked at me. I politely said that she could hold it up on her own, and didn't like it when the back of her head was touched.

The woman totally ignored me, and actually ran out from behind the desk, across the room and put a hand on the back of DD's head!!







She gave me a 'now now' type of look and said, "But you should always support her head, honey. Little babies can break easily!"

I quoted my midwife, "No they won't. New babies are really more like rubber then glass." and walked away. She gave me a nasty look before going back to her desk.

I can't believe she actually came out and held her head up for me, as if I was honestly that stupid. I didn't even know this woman!!

-- Babs


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## bemommy

Some idiot said my Libby looked like a tumor (Yeah, because that's what a baby in a SLING looks like).

It didn't deserve a response. . there isn't a good enough response to that. Having lost my dad and grandfather to cancer the only thing I would have liked to do was kick the guy. . REALLY hard.

Be


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## happy_mama35

I've already posted here but got another comment last week, this one from a stranger in a store. I think this woman had good intentions but it was all just a bit too personal for me.

DD and I were grocery shopping. We entered the store at about the same time as a daughter (mid-30s) and her mom (70something). We were shopping at about the same pace so I'd see at least one of them every aisle. The daughter was very sweet. The mother was too at first, offering nice compliments to my DD. By about aisle 10 DD woke up and both mother and daughter were there to peek at her and chat with her and oogle. Then the mother said, "Your first?" "Yes," I respond. "You're going to have at least one more, right?" she then asked. This took me aback ... here is a stranger delving into personal family stuff. And DH and I don't have any real plan regarding No. 2. I answered with a friendly but neutral, "We'll see." At this point the daughter sees how uncomfortable I am and offers the explanation, "She's had 11 (children)." At this point the mother begins a long explanation of how selfish it is of me to have just one child; think of the responsbility it puts on her and all the lonliness in later years. As she's babbling on I try to politely acknowledge her; the whole time I'm looking at my sweet DD and wondering if she would be lonley without siblings. I wondered would she feel responsible for everything from trying to be the perfect child to having to care for me in my old age. She's not even 7 mo yet and all of a sudden there was this tremendous weight. Ugh.

I'm not sure how the conversation ended but I was pleased it did. Then I changed my shopping pattern to avoid them in aisle 11.


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## hipumpkins

I'm sure this must be in this thread somehwere but I didn't have time to read the whole thing. anyway when my DD turned 6 mos everyone said, "oh now they get fun" citing examples as how it was all just poopping, crying and eating before that age. I never say anything but I think that the 1st smiles, laughs, sleeping on me, toe grabs were all really fun, too.


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## Justice2

Oh, good grief...I got another one...and yes, this one too is from mother dear.

The other day I was laying Kaeleb down for a nap. My mom knows that I am relactating and that I nurse Kaeleb anytime I can get a boob into his mouth. Well, one of those times is naptime. So, I went into her room to lay down with him in her bed and nurse him to sleep and she says "Aren't you worried about all of that milk sitting in his throat?







: " I said "No" and she told me that she would be worried. I looked dead at her and said "where was your worry when you put all four of us (my brothers and sister) to sleep with bottles PROPPED







in our mouths?" She turned and left the room. Uh...bu bye mom.


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## roseselene

Quote:

_Originally posted by bemommy_
*Some idiot said my Libby looked like a tumor (Yeah, because that's what a baby in a SLING looks like).

*















That is ridiculous!! He did deserve to be kicked!


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## PurplePixiePooh

Ok, I have a few.

Babies NEED to cry for a while. It cleans out their lungs.

If you want to have a calm, peaceful baby drink a beer while you are pregnant.

If you are nervous or anxious during your pregnancy you will have a miserable baby.

What do you mean you can't put a baby to bed when they aren't tired? You tell them when to be tired!

The worst thing I have ever been told:
If you want your child to listen to you you must get a paddle, like one used in ping pong and spank them with it. It will leave marks, but if you never leave the child alone with a doctor and do not send the child to public school you should avoid most problems. If you don't hit hard enough to bruise them, you aren't doing it right.

Never say please to a child. Tell them what to do, never ask.

Spanking will cause the child to respect your authority.

Never allow your child to sleep in your bed.

Holding a baby too much will "spoil" them.

You and your marriage come before the children.

Since your grandmother and mother "couldn't" breastfeed, you will not be able to either.

Docotrs know best.

Vaccinating your child is safe and necessary.

Only "bad" mothers let their kids get dirty.








:







:







:







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## Britishmum

About my breastfed toddler,

"Ohhhhh, don't you let her drink milk?"

I should have replied, "of course not, I lactate lemonade!" but I don't think on my feet that fast.








:







:







:


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## StarMama

Quote:

_Originally posted by mamaof2_
*
The worst thing I have ever been told:
If you want your child to listen to you you must get a paddle, like one used in ping pong and spank them with it.*
That's what my dad used on me.


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## megansmom

Well, the month before I gave birth, someone told me to go out, and have fun because I won't be able to do anything anymore once I have a child.......that your life changes drastically, and it really affects your marriage.
This came from a mother who practiced co-sleeping and admitted to me that she hadn't had sex for a really long time because of it. Well, then of course her marriage was affected by a baby. I believe that your husband/wife has to be the most important person in your life even after you have kids because without a good marriage, your family will fall apart.
...and, I have fun and go out all the time with my daughter who is 10 months old. We take her to fancy restaurants and vacations, and wherever else we want. It is more fun with her than without. My life has only changed for the better!

"Even though I don't practice co-sleeping, I respect anyone who does......only if it doesn't prevent you from having a healthy sex life!"


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## megansmom

I posted a reply before I read any posts, and I thought of some more that really irritated me!

Comments from former boss
-"morning sickness? I never had that! I think it's all in your mind because your doctor told you about it, and now you have it"

(I went to dr.'s appt. on my lunch break, and couldn't hear the heart beat most likely because my placenta was on top on my uterus so they scheduled me an ultrasound for the next day. When I got back to work, I told everyone, and I was quite sad and worried)
1st comment- well you are probably just too overweight for them to hear anything!

2nd comment a while later- if you are going to be such a baby about it, you may as well just go home! (so, not only did I go home, but I didn't come in the next day until after my ultrasound...I worked split shifts)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Comments from OBGYN (who I ditched after the 1st appt.) after reading my birth plan:

-"everyone gets an episiotomy"

-"everyone ends up getting an epidural" (I never even came close to wanting one)

-"you giving me this birth plan proves to me that you are worried about the birth...if you worry too much you won't be able to relax, and you'll end up having a c-section" So remember ladies....birth plan=c-section....ha ha!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Comments from Neighbor (old lady):

(after telling her about the thing I bought to listen to baby in uterus) - "that can't be safe...anything electrical could shock the baby and kill it......even if it just has batteries"

-"you're going to breastfeed? Haven't you heard of formula....they make it now so that you don't have to breastfeed!"

(after telling her I ditched OBGYN to go to a birthing center)
-"that's not a good idea, if there's a problem, the baby is going to die!" (then I told her about the doctor the midwife had to assist if a major problem occured)
-"well, you'd better make sure he's not a fake!" (whatever that means)
(I had a lot of comments like this from a lot of different people, though......imagine if I wanted to have a home birth.....they would have stoned me!)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Other comments after baby was born:

(from my friend's grandmother at a restaurant) -"I really need a cigarette! I don't know know why we couldn't have sat in smoking....megan will be fine. You know I smoked through both of my pregnancies and they both turned out fine!"

(same lady on the same day) -"Can I give her a peice of toast to chew on?" (I said no, that she was only two months old and that she was too young) and she said -"you mean you aren't putting cereal in her bottle yet?"

I'm sure there are more I could think of, but I won't bore you any more!


----------



## Eggie

Oh, don't you love that -"you aren't putting cereal in her bottle yet?" ?







:LOL
My MIL gave my dh cereal at 6 weeks old because he was crying so much and the Dr told them it was because he was so hungry so the cereal would quiet him down...








Of course she started bothering me since my dd was born and at 3 months old she finally said "you are going to starve her to death with out the cereal"
Anyways, we better laugh








Oh, and yesterday she said that my dd was too spoiled because I read her books at this age (5 months old)... "Why do you do that?? She cannot understand it, what a way to loose your time..."


----------



## Evergreen

nak

dh was shopping with dd in the front carrier when she was 7 mos old and she kept reaching for the produce in the cart. he said 'she cant wait to eat her peach and avacado.'
the casheir then said to him 'oh, shes too young for avacado, my husband just started eating them and he's 40!'








:







:


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## sunmountain

omg gr8fulmom! I am lmao!!!!


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## urklemama

Actual conversation:

MIL: You guys... don't have a tv.
Us: Nope.
MIL: Uh... there's no computer in the kids' room.
Us: You're right.
MIL: You don't have a tv and you don't have a computer for the kids to play games.
Us: No, we don't.
MIL: Well, what do they DO?


----------



## littleteapot

I know I already posted but i had another experience day before yesterday that made me think of this thread.

I was trying to find an appropriate nursing shirt in a consignment store when DD got fussy. So I went and sat in a chair just outside the door and started nursing her. After a few moments, someone I knew from years ago walked by and said hello, then she pointed at DD and asked, "Is that your baby?"
I replied, "Um, yes..." but was thinking, "No, I just breastfeed random children!"

And, last night I was at a friend's baby shower when someone asked me that awful question, "Is she a good baby". I used an example one of you guys used in that situation and said, "All babies are good babies". She laughed and told me that's just not true, her baby was not a good baby. (DD is extremely colicky and cries upwards of 6 hours a day, but I'm not about to call her 'bad' - it's not as if she does it just to irritate me) She rephrased a moment later, "Does she allow you to sleep at night?"

What kind of question is that? 'does she allow me?'....


----------



## Peppamint

Quote:

_Originally posted by littleteapot_
*I know I already posted but i had another experience day before yesterday that made me think of this thread.

I was trying to find an appropriate nursing shirt in a consignment store when DD got fussy. So I went and sat in a chair just outside the door and started nursing her. After a few moments, someone I knew from years ago walked by and said hello, then she pointed at DD and asked, "Is that your baby?"
I replied, "Um, yes..." but was thinking, "No, I just breastfeed random children!"*
Well... it just might be that she didn't realize what you were doing because you were doing such a good job!







:LOL Many times I've been bf'ing and people didn't realize it until later when they suddenly get fumbly and embarrassed. Really, I think people usually just don't think about the fact that you might be breastfeeding since they're used to seeing bottles.









Quote:

*And, last night I was at a friend's baby shower when someone asked me that awful question, "Is she a good baby". I used an example one of you guys used in that situation and said, "All babies are good babies". She laughed and told me that's just not true, her baby was not a good baby. (DD is extremely colicky and cries upwards of 6 hours a day, but I'm not about to call her 'bad' - it's not as if she does it just to irritate me) She rephrased a moment later, "Does she allow you to sleep at night?"

What kind of question is that? 'does she allow me?'....*








I still haven't figured it out. I think it's just a question people have been asked and they ask it without thinking about how it sounds.







:

I always wonder if they'll suggest that I trade for a different model if I say NO.







ag


----------



## sun-shine01

My step-uncle who is 55-60 years old, never been married and has no children asked me how long I planned on breast-feeding and I told him until DD weaned herself (she was 8 months at the time). He then said that after age 2 the child would be manipulating me. I just said HMMMMM!

I hate when I don't say what I'm thinking just to be nice. What I wanted to say is something like "so Patrick, I did not realize that you were so well informed on the topic of breast-feeding. Can you please send me the info you have found so that I can compare it to my hours and hours of research that I have spent - because i haven't found anything to support your advice.

Still kicking myself for not saying SOMETHING like that.


----------



## Peppamint

Quote:

_Originally posted by sun-shine01_
*My step-uncle who is 55-60 years old, never been married and has no children asked me how long I planned on breast-feeding and I told him until DD weaned herself (she was 8 months at the time). He then said that after age 2 the child would be manipulating me. I just said HMMMMM!

I hate when I don't say what I'm thinking just to be nice. What I wanted to say is something like "so Patrick, I did not realize that you were so well informed on the topic of breast-feeding. Can you please send me the info you have found so that I can compare it to my hours and hours of research that I have spent - because i haven't found anything to support your advice.

Still kicking myself for not saying SOMETHING like that.*
Me too.







I generally stick up for bf'ing, cd'ing, bedsharing etc to the point of being obnoxious but sometimes I try to be polite in public company.







: After all the unwanted advice I've received sometimes I think I should just speak my mind in an even tone of voice. Lets them know how informed *I* am... unlike some people!







ag


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## flutemandolin

"Third babies are the easiest, least demanding, quietest....."

-My doctor


----------



## goldrose

my mother made a comment when i started to nurse dd#2 again after I'd just recently nursed her. I said, "when YOU'RE hungry, nobody tells YOU not to eat. and when you want a snack, nobody says you can't have that either!"


----------



## April 2007

This one ticks me off EVERY TIME I HEAR/READ IT:

"oh so knowledgable person": you HAVE to spank your child or else they won't have any discipline and they'll end up in jail! Even the Bible says, "spare the rod, spoil the child"!

Me: (trying to understand that this person just doesn't know any better and only cares to look at ONE verse in the Bible about discipline and then feels they are an expert on God's will for children around the world.) "o.k....so when did the Bible ever say that the 'rod' was used for physical punishment?"

And then, if they are willing, I usually go into this "lecture" about what the word rod actually means, what it was/is used for, what it means in relation to disciplining children, etc., etc. Then I usually point them in this direction: http://www.christianitytoday.com/cpt/2003/002/6.50.html


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## MamaTT

Oh, and what really gets me about the "rod" thing is that the phrase "spare the rod, spoil the child" isn't even in the Bible.

Good resources for gentle discipline for christian parents at www.aolff.org


----------



## goldrose

oh, and i just rememberd what happened at the ped. (that we switched from, because she wouldnt keep us if we didnt vax - even tho she's a really good DR) -
She told me I have to move dd to the crib in another room so she should sleep good because the reason she wakes up and wants to eat is because she knows I'm there. So I said "really now, of course she knows I'm there, that's the whole point! Who else is going to be there for her if not her own mother??!"


----------



## Ravin

I got a good one in the NICU from a nurse. I was changing DD's diaper, and she made a comment about how inventive it was for me to use the hospital's burp rags for diapers.

My reply: "Actually, they're prefold diapers y'all use for burp rags."

I don't think she completely believed me.







I got the impression I was the first person in a long time to come through that hospital to cloth diaper while there, and they do over 700 births a month!


----------



## pumpkinhead

I've seen this one in previous posts, but the one I H A T E the most is:

"Do you let him exercise his lungs?"

as in "Do you ignore him when he's cold or wet or scared or hungry to scream?"








Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhh!!!!

My reply?

"UM, no, we don't like him to over-exert himself. We like to keep his breathing to a minimum"








No one knows what to say after that one


----------



## Kanga Mom

1. When I tried to nurse my very first baby for the very first time in the hospital, the nurse gasped loudly and said,
"You can't nurse that baby! You don't have any nipples!"
then she ran to get a horrible nipple shield thingie, looked like the nipple from a baby bottle, made my infant cry, and did NOT work.
Fortunately, when she left, a *nice* nurse came in and told me that flat nipples did not prevent nursing, and she showed me what to do. DD nursed like a champ from the start, and she was shortly a *very* hefty little chunk, which leads to stupid statement number 2....

2. While visiting the in-laws, ALL of them were pinching dd's fat little dimpled thighs, commenting on how healthy she was. Then they tried to give my five month old some fried chicken from the table. I said she couldn't eat that. They asked what I fed her. I said breast-milk.
Shocked stares, then, "YOu can't just feed this baby breast-milk. You'll starve her to death!"

3. There isn't anything remotely funny about this one. We have a severely disabled child. She is profoundly retarded, doesn't speak, can't run, is 16 and still in diapers at night (but toilet trained in the day, woo-hoo!)- she is also very affectionate, loving, full of hugs, warm smiles, and loves to tease.

And I have actually had somebody who just met us say, "It's too bad you didn't know she was handicapped before she was born. YOu could have aborted."

HELLO? Would you like a knife to terminate her existance right now, maybe? Isn't she a valuable, precious human being? What a *stupid* thing to say, especially from a person who was practically a total stranger, who would never, ever have to spend another minute, nay, not even a second, around my child, and never be in the least inconvenienced by my sweetie's existance. Jerk. My child may be brain damaged, but she will *never* be so insensitive and cruel to others as that idiot woman was. She said it in front of my daughter, too. Ghastly woman.

(The one thing that did make this kind of funny was that we happened to have adopted this child when she was almost six years old, and I did enjoy seeing the idiotic look at that woman's face when I told her so).

Kanga

With six girls and one boy, we have often heard the insensitive 'Trying for a boy' remark. I have responded with, "Nope, just a baby, and we get it right every time."


----------



## kate42

Quote:

_Originally posted by Kanga Mom_
*
3. There isn't anything remotely funny about this one. We have a severely disabled child. She is profoundly retarded, doesn't speak, can't run, is 16 and still in diapers at night (but toilet trained in the day, woo-hoo!)- she is also very affectionate, loving, full of hugs, warm smiles, and loves to tease.

And I have actually had somebody who just met us say, "It's too bad you didn't know she was handicapped before she was born. YOu could have aborted."

*
Grrr. It's statements like this that make me cry for mankind sometimes.























The worst I've heard has come from MIL.."She seems pretty smart for a girl."


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## sohj

Quote:

_Originally posted by Kanga Mom_
*(The one thing that did make this kind of funny was that we happened to have adopted this child when she was almost six years old, and I did enjoy seeing the idiotic look at that woman's face when I told her so).*
Ohhhhh baby! Would I have LOVED to have been a fly on the wall for that one.









Quote:

_Originally posted by Kanga Mom_
*With six girls and one boy, we have often heard the insensitive 'Trying for a boy' remark. I have responded with, "Nope, just a baby, and we get it right every time."*
And that reminds me of how I was repeatedly asked what I wanted, a boy or a girl. I would invariably answer a healthy baby. But, they would press, so I would also invariably answer "Boy, girl or hermaphrodite, healthy is all I care about." I was tempted a few times to reply "I want a puppy."







:


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## lizziejean

Wow. This thread has been a real eye-opener for me. I never was around babies until I had one myself, and I live in Westchester County NY (educated /affluent - high bfing rates comparitively) and most of my mom friends breastfed for at least a few months. I have been hearing/reading about how in this country not that many people breastfeed etc etc, and I've never really been able to understand it. I mean, anyone who (like me) starts from complete ignorance would just have to go read a few baby books and figure out pretty damn fast that breastfeeding is the best thing to do. Extended/tandem bfing, well that's another story, but at least the first 6-12 months seems pretty much recommended now, even for the What to Expect crowd. This thread really opened up my eyes... it is just amazing that all these mothers / grandmothers were so totally taken in by the doctors and the formula companies, and now they are still trying to justify what they did and get the younger generation to follow suit. In such ignorant ways. I sure hope that when I am an old cantankerous lady in the supermarket, I am clever enough to keep my advice to myself except where I am pretty sure of my ground, ie I am up to date and not just relying on what was true when I was in my child-bearing/rearing years! I mean, it's just amazing that a lot of these people can't even conceive that they might be wrong?

OK so here are a couple of stupid comments that I've had:

- 'you're squashing him!' (in the sling) this one just seems really dumb - babies will squawk if they're cold/hot/hungry/wet... why would they sit in blissful happiness if they were getting squashed? I got this one from old ladies all the time in the mall.
- 'aren't you worried you'll fall down and he'll get hurt?' (in the sling again) - I'm like, well if I was carrying him in my arms instead he'd go flying - are you suggesting I shouldn't carry him at all in case I fall down?
- 'doesn't it hurt your back?' - I say, a lot less than it hurts my arms to carry him for the same amount of time, or are you suggesting I shouldn't pick him up at all? (I guess, having read the one up-thread about the lady who bought a stroller for inside the house, they might be!)
- one that really irked me at the time... my dd was 10 weeks old and someone said 'what a beautiful boy' (of course she had a pink flowered outfit on at the time, but not much hair) so I said 'she's a girl' and the woman said 'but she has a boy's haircut!' like my kid's been having weekly trims since birth?????
- the nursery nurse who brought in my dd for a middle of the night feeding... I said 'isn't she beautiful?' because she WAS!!! omg what a precious angel... and then she says 'they all are dear'... would it have killed the old bag to just say 'Yes!'?

Can I just give another perspective though. I can clearly remember times when I have given advice based on no basis, and also when I have said stupid things... I remember before I had kids I read this article about how if you leave a night-light on in your kids room they'll end up short-sighted (thankfully that study has been debunked) but I was telling my sister she had to make her kids sleep in the pitch black (oops way to make a new mom's life harder)... also I'm sure I have said or not said the right thing to two women I know who have lost children at or shortly after birth...

so whenever someone says something thoughtless (eg 'what are you having?') or ill-informed ('when is he going to go onto bottles?') I just treat the person as if they had the best intentions, and make it a teaching moment in a nice way. Although sometimes I know I come off a bit weird... It came up the other day with an acquaintance that I was 'still' bfing my 16 month old, and he said well he's old enough now can't he have milk? and I was like well, their immune systems don't mature until they're 3 or 4 and with his allergies he needs all the help he can get... but thinking back later, I realized it would have sounded pretty funny if he didn't know about the whole antibody thing... lol just a little bit of crucial info I left out there

anyway I love this thread...

Elizabeth
'still'(! hate that word) bfing dd 12-24-00 and ds 7-2-02


----------



## Wildcrafter

When my 7 year old neice saw me breastfeeding my 8 week old son, she asked, "Why is he sucking your stomach?"

I said, he is nursing, he get's his milk from my breast. She replied with "That's gross".

A few moments later she said, "you must have to drink a lot of milk". I said, that's milk from a cow and I don't drink any. My body makes my own milk. She said, "Gross" again. Sad, huh?

A few weeks later my mil said the same, "you must have to drink a lot of milk to nurse that much" I said my body makes it's own milk with blood and water. She said nothing.

At 9 months, mil asked when are you weaning, I said not for at least 1 year, she looked shocked.

Last week (son is now 18 mo) she again asked when are you weaning. I finally respond with the "he'll wean when he's ready, probably when he's around 3". Maybe now she'll stop asking!!!!!!
The whole family's up in arms about it. Think he's spoiled but you know what, he's the only kid in the family who is not spoiled (meaning bratty), and who is treated with the respect every human child deserves.


----------



## pip

Stupidest comment ever was from a total stranger in a shop who tapped me on the shoulder and said in a horrified voice "what on earth is THAT?" pointing to my son's birthmark. I explained and his kind response was "that must have freaked you out"

Well my baby's birthmark is now covered in hair...but I bet that man still hasn't grown a brain!


----------



## Peppamint

Quote:

_Originally posted by pip_
*Stupidest comment ever was from a total stranger in a shop who tapped me on the shoulder and said in a horrified voice "what on earth is THAT?" pointing to my son's birthmark. I explained and his kind response was "that must have freaked you out"

Well my baby's birthmark is now covered in hair...but I bet that man still hasn't grown a brain!*








How insensitive!

My brother had a birthmark on his head... I don't remember the birthmark itself being all that noticeable, but the weird thing is when his hair grew in all the hair in the birthmark was darker than the rest of his hair.

People used to ask my mom if she dyed it that way.







: Yeah, sure... my 3yo brother was more than happy to sit still while mom dyed a big brown splotch in his blonde hair.


----------



## pip

busybusymomma - you made me laugh, the thought of dying patches in babies hair









Luka's mark is red and lumpy, and someone else once asked if it was where I hit him!!!!


----------



## I Fly

These two uninformed comments come from a 40 something married childless person that I used to see on a weekly basis over dinner.

1. I nursed my then 3 month old ds to sleep and had him swaddled and asleep in the living room while I and the other guests served ourselves dinner. DS woke seconds after aforementioned bozo made an very loud wooping sound while telling a story to my dh. I was PISSED, but "shhh'd" him in a nice way. He said, "Oh, I know this baby who got to where he would sleep while we passed him around from hand to hand all night long." His tone implied that I am spoiling my son and that I should get over myself. I was so mad - all he needed to say was "I'm sorry" or "oops". Of course, baby woke and my dinner was ruined trying to parent disgruntled baby back to sleep.

2. "Well I know this guy who trained his baby not to cry. When the baby cried from his crib, the father would go and stand in the doorway to the room where the baby could see him. When the baby stopped crying, the father would go in to him. That trained that baby fast not to cry." I was too horrified to say anything. My thought was something like, "what an *&&$%@@" and "yeah right".


----------



## AnnMarie

Quote:

_Originally posted by lizziejean_
*
- 'you're squashing him!' (in the sling)*
*
*
*
I've heard that one before too.







:

Quote:

- 'doesn't it hurt your back?'
I think that's a good question actually. The carriers where you carry the baby in the front do hurt your back quite a bit. At least mine. Even my OTSBH hurt my back.

Quote:

- one that really irked me at the time... my dd was 10 weeks old and someone said 'what a beautiful boy' (of course she had a pink flowered outfit on at the time, but not much hair) so I said 'she's a girl' and the woman said 'but she has a boy's haircut!' like my kid's been having weekly trims since birth?????
Everyone thought my girls were boys and my boys were girls. :LOL

Quote:

- the nursery nurse who brought in my dd for a middle of the night feeding... I said 'isn't she beautiful?' because she WAS!!! omg what a precious angel... and then she says 'they all are dear'... would it have killed the old bag to just say 'Yes!'?








: I had one of those too. I was at the mall with my daughter and two older women came up to me and were commenting on how beautiful my daughter was. Then one of them says, "She must look like her father." :LOL

Quote:

Can I just give another perspective though. I can clearly remember times when I have given advice based on no basis, and also when I have said stupid things... I remember before I had kids I read this article about how if you leave a night-light on in your kids room they'll end up short-sighted (thankfully that study has been debunked) but I was telling my sister she had to make her kids sleep in the pitch black (oops way to make a new mom's life harder)... also I'm sure I have said or not said the right thing to two women I know who have lost children at or shortly after birth...
I'd be surprised if there wasn't one parent on this board that hasn't given some advise or made some comment to another parent. We all do it.*


----------



## AnnMarie

Quote:

_Originally posted by Kanga Mom_
And I have actually had somebody who just met us say, "It's too bad you didn't know she was handicapped before she was born. YOu could have aborted."















I just don't get people.







HOW could they think that was OK to say?







:

Quote:

(The one thing that did make this kind of funny was that we happened to have adopted this child when she was almost six years old, and I did enjoy seeing the idiotic look at that woman's face when I told her so).








I wish I could have seen the look on her face.


----------



## Kitties

I am so glad this thread got "resurrected". I have been reading it for two hours!

Okay, my stories aren't really advice but I'll share them anyway.

My SIL and I were pg at the same time. She knew I was going to breastfeed and when I asked her if she was she said she wasn't because it wasn't really "her thing". I dunno, you're a woman, you have a baby and breasts, doesn't that make it "your thing"?

And this is the worst: I asked the nurse who was doing our discharge paperwork and stuff for a scissors so I could get DS's hospital bracelet off. She said "Oh, I always recommend that parents leave that on so that if you have an accident on the way home they will be able to identify the body."























I was stunned. I couldn't say anything. I wrote a LONG letter to the hospital administration about a month later.


----------



## Shenjall

Quote:

Oh, I always recommend that parents leave that on so that if you have an accident on the way home they will be able to identify the body."
I actually gasped out loud at this! I cant believe it! What a horrific thing to say!
I'm glad you wrote a letter!


----------



## N2theWoods

let us know how the hospital responds... I can't BELIEVE she actually said that to you.


----------



## Kitties

A bit after I sent my letter to the hospital I got a call from someone in the labor and delivery department. She apologized for the nurse and said she was going to be "dealt with". She sounded genuinely pissed about her. I was glad she called because it gave me a chance to vent about my generally crappy stay at that hospital (no lactation consultant, being pressured to let the nurses take DS to the nursery so I could rest, DS coming back from the nursery with a pacifier, etc.) So, maybe I got through. Who knows?







:

I know this for a fact, my next baby will be born at home! I wonder if a midwife will do a V-bac? I had C-sections with both boys because labor wasn't progressing.


----------



## Peppamint

Quote:

_Originally posted by taygabemomma_
*I know this for a fact, my next baby will be born at home! I wonder if a midwife will do a V-bac? I had C-sections with both boys because labor wasn't progressing.*
They are out there! Before you ttc I would start searching around the homebirthing yahoogroups, posting here at the homebirth board and be on the lookout.

I had a similar experience, no pacifier but they kept wanting to take her away and I wondered how I was supposed to nurse on demand if she was down the hall?







: They did have a nice lactation consultant though.

ds was born at home and was nursing 30 seconds after birth still in the pool!


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## guestmama9907

One day we were in WalMart and I had a cute little red bindhi sticker on my babes 3rd eye and a very concerned woman asked me what was that thing on my babies head and if it was permanent! I sarcasticly said yes it is permanent and then horrified she wanted to know how I did it and so i told her it was a thumb tack!

Over Thanksgiving at my folks my 6 month old started pulling on my shirt and nuzzling me and my step mother says "oh how dreadful, you poor thing! that reminds me of the time my daughter was 8 months old and wanted to nurse when our minister was over. i was sooo embarrassed!" what? she also told me that nursing past one year or after they could ask for it was "spooky."

my mom says that she is worried that my baby is going to be deformed or bow legged from her cloth diapers!

my inlaws said that our baby wasnt really their grandchild because my bf and i arent married. they also said that by law she couldnt have their last name since we arent married. (as if i would let her have their name! rotten meanies!!! so we made up our own last name for our fam)


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## guestmama9907

A girl i know told me that she stopped breast feeding her son at 5 weeks because he would only look at her breasts and not at her face!


----------



## angela&avery

i dont vacc and have had people tell me that they wouldnt want my unvacc kids around theirs cuz mine could infect them with something...







: .....

im like "um, no your vacc kids who have all these illnesses in their bodies will infect mine.. AND if you believe in vacc, how could my kids give your so called vacc and "protected" kids any illness?"









I wish people would think before they speak sometimes.....


----------



## aguacates

Last month I flew with my dd, 3 months at the time, to visit my mother. On the flight back I was walking at the back of the plane with dd in the sling to calm her. The flight attendant watched me for about 15 minutes before she came over and said," No offense, but is that how the baby is supposed to be? All squished like that? That can't be comfortable." I just said that she seems to like it and it's not as tight as when she was in the womb. She wasn't convinced and was looking at me like I was torturing my child by making her ride in the strange contraption.

Then when we were starting to land, she told me that I had to take her out of the sling for landing, I questioned her on it, and she told me that the FAA had done studies and that babies were safer being held in their mother's arms. She said if I didn't comply, I could be banned from flying. I didn't really have the energy to get into a confrontation with her, after 7+ hrs of traveling with an infant so I took dd out of the sling, while telling the passenger next to me that it was the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. And the passenger said that she probably didn't want my dd to be strangled.
Umm, yes, I wear my baby in an uncomfortable thing that might strangle her.


----------



## crayon

I am a strong beliver in no circ'ing and my cousing (male with a cut son of his own!) said "hey did you hear ang is not going to give her son a vacitomy (sp??)" WTF???? I was like "I am not going to circ!" My goodness how people can be so stupid! My BIL was having a baby and I asked him if they were going to circ and he said "what is that?"









My neighbor who is 19 was in wal-mart with me and I whipped out the boob for some snack time for DD and she looked at me with huge eyes and said "is that legal?"







I had to give her the 411 on BF'ding.

My grandfather- who I am not fond of gave me the best ever! He said he was so proud of me for BF'ding and CD'ing- that I use regular diapers- lol! I told him he was the only person I have talked to that thinks cloth dipes are regular!

My mom who did not BF my sister and I always says how healthy Rainey is and tells everyone "it is the boob juice!"


----------



## Kanga

When I went back to school for my defense, ds was six months old. I was trotting him around to all the profs and secretaries ... showing him off... and one of the secreatries said to me...

"So, are you a screamer or a spanker?"

I was horrified! She said it like I had made some profound discovery about myself through becoming a mother. After I managed to pick my mouth off the floor I said that I wasn't either... besides what possible reason could there be to scream at or spank a six month old baby?!?!?


----------



## fyrflymommy

Quote:

_Originally posted by crayon_
*My grandfather- who I am not fond of gave me the best ever! He said he was so proud of me for BF'ding and CD'ing- that I use regular diapers- lol! I told him he was the only person I have talked to that thinks cloth dipes are regular!*

my dd's greatgramma thinks the same thing


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## Ravin

Especially since at five weeks he's figured out what the boobs are for, not so much the face.

I've gotten some real doozies. My maternal grandmother admitted that her mother breastfed, coslept w/ her babies, and didn't believe in letting a baby cry, but thought we'd made progress since then.

I told her it was in fact quite the opposite. She was also resentful of having to help with her younger siblings. Yet she gets along much better with her sister who's 12 years younger whom she cared for under her mother's tutelage than w/ her own 3 daughters whom she raised the way Dr. Spock said to.

I explained how my way fosters better attachment w/ the baby, and she got defensive, saying to my mom, "You girls were attached."

Mom didn't agree. :LOL

She kept asking if I had a bassinet to lay dd in. Why was beyond me. She wasn't convinced that dd doesn't like to not be held. Also (though I never heard it) she kept telling my mother dd needed a bottle to supplement.

If I had heard it, she would have gotten a real earful. We'd been exclusively breastfeeding for only 10 days at that point, after getting over a hump where dd wouldn't gain any weight and was losing without formula supplements. After all my hard work to get DD off the formula I would have gone off on her had she suggested I give her more!

StepMIL gave me "What to Expect the First Year." She knew I was cosleeping, cloth diapering, etc., and gave me a book that said cosleeping doesn't work for Americans and cloth diapering is unsanitary.







: wtf?

So I traded it in at Barnes and Noble for Dr. Sears' Baby Book.


----------



## Peppamint

Quote:

_Originally posted by Ravin_
*StepMIL gave me "What to Expect the First Year." She knew I was cosleeping, cloth diapering, etc., and gave me a book that said cosleeping doesn't work for Americans and cloth diapering is unsanitary.







: wtf?

So I traded it in at Barnes and Noble for Dr. Sears' Baby Book.








*








I hate that book.







It is horrifying to me that it spends so much time on the Bestseller List (I used to work at the local Library and gagged when it was once again on the bestseller list). I have a copy somewhere and when I find it I'm throwing it away because I don't want a momma who is "thinking" about bf'ing or cd'ing reading that crap or a momma who wants to sleep with her baby to read that it doesn't work.







:

I have a friend who probably reads WTEWYE and she's still deciding whether or not to bf or ff. I'm trying not to come on too strong, but since she asks me I just tell her what I honestly think.







I've been extolling the virtues of lactation amonorrhea, co-sleeping, bonding, healthy etc. In the end though, it's her decision and hers alone.

I truly, truly wish that more moms would breastfeed. For many, breastfeeding is the first step to "crunchiness".







Look at me, before kids I swore I'd never co-sleep, I wouldn't nurse when the babe could ask for it or pull on shirt, I wouldn't do this and I wouldn't do that.

Let's just say that was me blowing out my







, as my dh so delicately puts it! Live and learn...


----------



## mightymoo

.OK, I've read through the entire thread. It took me pretty much all weekend, but I managed it!

I have a dumb comment/question to add. Shortly (like at 2 or 3 weeks) after we had our DD, I had a single male friend visit. She was sleeping at the time. He asked if she could walk yet! After both me and my DH cracked up and told him they don't walk until 12 months or so, he then asked if she could talk yet! I realize he hasn't been around a lot of babies, but come on! He also asked if she was drinking formula - since the word formula was a hotbutton for me, I said no of course not she's breastfeeding. He said 'that's what I meant - its all the same to me' - he was just too embarrassed to say breastfeeding. heh.









One thing that frustrates me is that everyone assumes I had my large daughter by c/s because she was too big. I have full confidence under better circumstances I could have had her naturally. I feel like whenever I mention that my daughter was big and I had a c-section that the listener concludes it was due to her size and I'm just proving the rule. I hate that! I always add, well, I feel I could have had her naturally but I came down with an infection and between the infection, induction, her size and being posterior my uterus got worn out (contractions every 30 seconds with no pressure) and we didn't make any progress. Of course the folks I'm talking to don't know what I'm talking about half the time so I think I'm just wasting my breath. I so wish I could have had her vaginally so I could proudly say 'No' to the "over 10lbs- you had a c-section, right?" question.


----------



## grisandole

Everyone always assumes that I had ds2 by c-section, even though I had him at home, because he was big- 11lbs! So I'll be chatting with another woman/mom and they'll ask how old he was, how big was he when he was born, and when I say 11lbs, they say "Oh, so you had a c-section then." and are always shocked when I say no, lol.

Kristi


----------



## Peppamint

Yeah, everyone thinks you can't birth big babies vaginally because they are used to moms who have big babies having a c/s (I think because women are at the hospital, interventions, lying in the lithomy position etc).

My friend had her first baby (9lb ?oz) in the hospital and got a huge episiotomy that tore the rest of the way so she was pretty mangled and sore. Her next baby was born at home standing over the toilet _posterior_ and weighing 10lb 9oz. NO TEAR.

I won't preach to the choir, but it annoys me so much!!


----------



## vancouverlori

whew! finally got to the end of this... my eyes are like:









when dd was born, i was just 20, but i looked about 16, so i didn't get a whole lot of respect! but I had read everything i could get my hands on about birth, partly b/c I had originally intended to give her up for adoption, and her birth would be the most important thing i would do for her. but of course all the nurses in the hospital assumed i was a moron.

from the L&D nurse when I tell her I'm in transition:
"no you couldn't be, dear, it's too early. first births always take at least 24 hours"
but she does the VE







and yeah, it's 8cm, and the whole birth takes about 8 1/2 hrs.

then we have BF issues. First DD is just not interested, then on day 2 when i finally get her latched on, she starts spluttering and choking every time i let down, so she lets go and screams. I suggest to the nurse that my let down is too strong for her. says the nurse:
"no dear, your milk hasn't come in yet, you can't be letting down yet"
"ok", says meek little me.







wish i'd said: "yeah, then why are my boobs suddenly so big and hurt and milk sprays across the room when she lets go, huh?"

we're rooming-in, so when I wake up in the middle of the night and she's not there, I wander out into the hallway and there's the nurse holding her, feeding her formula from a syringe. When i ask her what she's doing, she says:
"oh, i'm supplementing her with formula because she hasn't been able to nurse properly and she'll get too weak to suck"







HELLO????? this is a 9lb baby we're talking about!

finally we figure out BF, but because i'm there so long, they discover yet another problem: she has a heart murmur. I'm not really worried 'cuz i've come across this in my reading too, but they take her to another part of the hospital - without me!!! - to do further tests. A little while later, two docs come in to explain to me that she'll grow out of it and even if she doesn't it will be nothing to worry about. I already know this, but for some reason it takes them * an hour * to explain this. Meanwhile, it's niagara falls inside my gown. When they finally leave, I send "the sperm donor" (love that one, Devin), to check where she is, 'cuz she must be hungry. he comes back and says she's sleeping, so we tell the nurse we're going to wake her up to feed her and she says:
"oh, well they fed her a bottle when they did the test because she was crying and they couldn't do the test and it would have taken too long to bring her back to you to nurse her"







:























so I finally got to leave. When i finish packing, I pick baby up to see where sperm donor got to, and the nurse freaks out:
"oh, put the baby down, we don't let the moms carry their babies here"







: WTF???? what do you think i'm going to do when I get home?

we finally get home, and my (now ex-) MIL is there. she holds baby at about arms length, bouncing her up and down for like, two hours, DD fussing the whole time. says she:
"gee, i don't know why she's not sleeping"







:







:









so now not only was I a young, new mom, still living at home, but we've got a horrible case of nipple confusion. But I can be really determined ... er... I mean obstinate... and so we manage to nurse successfully eventually (thank goodness for dripless silicone nipples), but it was a rough couple of weeks.

when i was expecting DS this past summer, i had NO intention of staying in hospital any longer than necessary. although my birth experience with DD had been fine, and i had no problem having a hospital birth again, it was the postpartum bit that sucked rocks. DS was born just after midnight, and BF was going okay and i had managed to get some sleep on the hard bed (it was single room maternity care, so it was a delivery bed too), and i was ready to go home around noon. but we had to wait for the doc to come and check on me. she was an awesome "earthy birthy" doc, so i didn't mind that. meanwhile the nurse says:
"i don't know why you want to go home so soon"
umm, gee, lemme see, the bed makes my a** numb? the food sucks? strangers keep coming in wanting to look at my privates?

now for the good things:

i was really loud when pushing DS out, and i kind of apologized to the doc the next day. she said:
"oh no, that's fine, I'd like to record women giving birth - it's like an opera!"







and she proceeded to explain her theory that if women are left to their own devices in stage 2, and not told to push or whatever (which is exactly what she did), they always make the same kinds of noises.







I loved her!!!

not long after her DS2 was born, my little sister and i were discussing the mainstream (and barely even that) family she lived with when her DS1 was born, wondering why people who appear to hate babies and children bother having them on purpose. and i said to her:
"I'm so glad that you're a good mommy and I'm really proud of you!"
















sorry this was so long! i just had so much to share!

-lori h.


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## LunaMom

I'm going to follow that with a really short post!









The dumbest thing I've ever encountered is the couple of people who have been completely baffled when I tell them dd never used bottles and have asked me with an utterly perplexed expression, "Well, then how did you feed her???"








:







:







:


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## sunmountain

lori that was a wonderful post!!!

I have been keeping with this thread since it started and I am so thrilled when a new post shows up in my email! It should be required reading for every new mom :LOL


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## Jennifer Z

Quote:

_Originally posted by sunmountain_
*I have been keeping with this thread since it started and I am so thrilled when a new post shows up in my email! It should be required reading for every new mom :LOL*
I actually posted just so I could keep getting the updated posts. :LOL I love hearing these stories!


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## Victorian

Ok, here is one. When dd was born, my husbands single, childless friend asked me when my milk was going to run out.

He had heard the expression "milk comes in" and figured that your milk came in and you bf until it was gone. Then after that you switched to bottles.

I asked him what he thought people did before bottles, and he said that he figured thats what wetnurses did, they just got more milk than others when it came in!

he is a very sweet guy and never bats an eye at me nursing.


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## Nemmer

Quote:

_Originally posted by missbliss_
*Then when we were starting to land, she told me that I had to take her out of the sling for landing, I questioned her on it, and she told me that the FAA had done studies and that babies were safer being held in their mother's arms. She said if I didn't comply, I could be banned from flying. I didn't really have the energy to get into a confrontation with her, after 7+ hrs of traveling with an infant so I took dd out of the sling, while telling the passenger next to me that it was the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. And the passenger said that she probably didn't want my dd to be strangled.
Umm, yes, I wear my baby in an uncomfortable thing that might strangle her.*
They said this to me too! We flew on a 4.5 hour flight when DS was about 3.5 months old, and of course I wore him in the sling during the flight. The FA didn't notice until after we were in the air, but asked me if he had been in the sling during takeoff. I said yes, he sure was. (To me it seems the safest place!) She told me that I couldn't wear him during landing, because if we hit rough turbulance, I could squish him!







: Even DH commented on how ridiculous that was! If we're in turbulance (or heaven forbid, worse) so rough that I'm gonna get thrown around, I want my baby right with me, not thrown away from me!! I wore him during landing anyway, and nobody said anything. :LOL


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## cinnamonamon

I've been reading this thread for MONTHS and had to post...one of the ones that made me want to







is:

(Man at bookstore): Oh you're nursing -- my wife did that...you dont want to make the mistake of nursing too long like she did with our first one!
(me): The AAP recommends at least 1 year, and WHO actually recommends 2 years... we'll see what he wants to do, though
(man): well, my wife bfed the first one until 18 months and had the hardest time weaning her -- she just wouldnt quit! so the second baby she quit at 6 months -- that baby was much easier to wean...

grrr...maybe cause baby was still to tiny & helpless to defend herself?!

That man also was kind enough to tell me about how he'd "heard of some women who bfed almost til kindergarten"














: and they "only did it because they "**liked it**""

When he noticed I was reading up on vaxing, & I told him a bit about it, he said "I'm glad I never looked into it & knew what could happen, I might have worried." Nothing like the intentionally stupid, huh.

And yes, I too put my child in a sling to smother him...







:

And he would be better off if I put him in daycare a couple times per week.

...so many stupid people, so little time to write about all of them... :LOL


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## crayon

When I was pregnant I refused ultrasounds and my mom told me I didn't care about the well being of my baby- that I was being selfish and that I didn't really love my baby. She said "how do you even know if the heart is beating" I informed her that I trusted my body to show me I something was wrong and that I indeed used fetal scopes! Of course I had to explain what a fetal scope was.

Then from EVERYONE! I heard how glad they were that my UC ended in a hospital birth- No one said, "god Ang, I know how hard you tried to birth your baby out of a nasty disease infested hospital, I wish it would have worked out different!" Okay maybe not those words- but it would have been nice if someone (in my family) would have said I understand and I am sorry you lost your birth to the hospital!

Another good one- I had to go see a specialist because I was classified "high risk" from my back up doc and she said she would not call my own specialist on my condition because she is just a genetic specialist and not a high risk obstetrics doctor. Mind you this was AFTER I told her my doctor was among other thing a very well known OB and genetic specialist! This was number one reason for the intended UC!

People cant think out side a pharmacy text book!

But my I called one of my specialists and he said "All doctors are just worried about being sued and you have to take it in the ass- sorry for my language! But it is true and I fully support your wish to birth your baby at home and naturally!"


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## StarMama

Oh I've got one to share now that I'm a mommy









When ds was 7 weeks old my FIL asked me "So, what is he eatting now?" And I just looked at him like he was nuts... he said "Oh, just... that... then. When will he have solids?"

I told him "Not until at least 6 months old"

He replied "That long?! Awww, poor baby!"


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## pumpkinhead

Well, I've got one that's more cute than dumb...can I post it anyway?







Please can I?

Anyhow, I was visiting some friends of mine who have two young children. It was in the evening and, as usual, ds was nursing like a fiend! The oldest, 6 year old Taylar, was looking on with much curiosity and asked "What *IS* he doing?". I looked to her Mama for help and she basically told me I was on my own, so I just told her "He's drinking his milk". She looked very puzzeled and asked "Is he getting it out of your arm?" :LOL.
So, I dived right in and said "No honey, he's getting it from my breast". So, she whips up her own shirt, looks down at her nipples and says "Can I feed him then?".







:LOL







.

Too cute.

Oh, and I have a dumb one to add:

When ds was 3 months old, we had to take him to a pediatrician to have his head evaluated







. He was born with a haematoma that calicified and made his head look misshapen. Anyhow, the man was awesome, a kindly older man, very gentle w/ ds and made us very comfortable BUT very OLD FASHIONED. He asked "So you're breast feed then?" to which I replied 'yes'. He then said "Are you gonna do that forever and a day?". grrrrrrrrr. I mumbled something like, hopefully not and he then proceeded to tell me how I should start thinking about introducing cereal around 4.5 to 5 mos so that ds wouldn't become anemic as my iron stores would be all used up by then. *I* knew better, but it bugs me to think that someone less educated might be influenced by this. As I said, he was a very nice man, just uninformed.


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## Ravin

Don't care how nice he is, it's a doctor's JOB to be well informed.

I left out the biggest doozie I've gotten yet. I went over to my dad's so he could meet his new granddaughter. She was fussy, so I sat down and started nursing her. That is, I reached into my nursing top, opened the flap of my nursing bra, and latched her on. My nipple was visible for maybe 5 seconds.

By my father's reaction, you'd think I'd done a striptease in the middle of his livingroom! He told me to have a little class and cover myself. Seemed to think that was the purpose of the pouch sling I was wearing, and said that my mother always covered up when nursing. Yeah, okay, he doesn't even remember how old I was when she weaned me. I asked him what decade he was living in, and he went out to smoke a cigarette in the garage, leaving me to sit there by myself.

I came all the way to TX so he could see his new grandbaby, and this is how welcomed I am in his home. Did I mention that he had a heart attack last March?









That night I sent him an email with a link to the article on MDC entitled "From Bashful to Brazen: An Indiscreet Breastfeeder's Manifesto"


----------



## april77

I ran into an acquaintance whose son is 3 months younger than my dd (9 months). I met her when she was pregnant and excited to quit working and stay home. I'd seen her a couple of times since her ds was born and she was nursing, cloth diapering, and we seemed to have similar views on parenting. But I saw her without her ds the other day and she tells me that she put him in daycare 3 days a week because she needed her life back. And then she said she would highly recommend that I do the same.

Yeah, I had a baby to pays $400 a month to pretend that I don't have a baby 3 days a week!!!


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## hergrace

My MIL has never been fully endowed in the logic department, and things dealing with ds are no exception. She says all sorts of odd things, but one stands out as my favorite.

A week after being told that we are exclusively breastfeeding and that ds won't take a bottle of ebm, she asked "So, is he taking formula milk yet?"


----------



## Welovedante

"I can't believe you carry your son! He's so big! (8 months old)... You sure are lucky he has such a happy disposition, though. My kids hollered all the time!"

Ummm, maybe if you held them, they wouldn't have cried so much?


----------



## hannahsmama

I've used--and thoroughly enjoyed--two different comebacks to the ubiquitous and so obnoxious question of "how long are you going to breastfeed that child?"
#1. Until she's done.
#2. Well, I'm not sure, but we are looking at some of the local colleges for her.
That usually puts and end to the questioning!
My DD just weaned at 34 months without a tear. When I told her that all the milk was gone, she asked if maybe we could get some apple juice for "nummies."


----------



## April 2007

I'm so glad this thread is still going! I've been reading and posting since the very beginning









Here's one I heard from my SIL a couple months ago (background: she is preg. with her first. SHe and my brother are the MOST MAINSTREAM PPL I'VE EVER MET!! She is absolutely not considering breastfeeding, co-sleeping, etc., and baby will be be sleeping bny himself before 4 weeks old, and she's going back to work at 2-3 weeks!!).

Anyway, I was talking to her about co-sleeping and how much easier it is...even if you're not breastfeeding...and that the baby really needs yo be near you, etc., etc., etc. To which she replies (like she is some parenting/marriage expert), "I don't want the baby to sleep with us. It's very important for ____and I to have our time together"

O.k., yeah, so if having a baby in bed with you = not having time together, than how come Bible people had 40 billion kids??????????????????????????

Another one. We were there a couple months ago and I asked when she was "due". She said she is due June 26th, but will be induced June 25th because they are almost an hour away from the hospital. YEAH...I'm SOOO sure that the moment she feels contractions, her baby is gonna be born in less than an hour! Give me a FLIPPIN' BREAK!!!

Then I tried informing them about the dangers of inducing, how it increases your chances of cesarean, infection, etc., etc., etc., to which my brother replied, "well I don't know what old wive's tales you've heard, but our doctor didn't tell us any of that!"

HMMMMMM...I WONDER WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!? Could it be that he's making THOUSANDS of dollars off of your STUPIDITY and STUBBORNESS and LAZINESS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

*OI VEI**!!!!* O.k., I can't talk about her anymore 'cause it breaks my heart thinking about that poor, poor baby


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## sahm23boys2003

My Favorite is "Are you *SURE* they are twins? They don't look anything alike and one is bigger than the other!"


----------



## sunmountain

Blessed, I so look forward to the stories you have to tell AFTER she has the baby :LOL

ok, I got another one. first off, my dh and I are about as liberal as you can get in the pareting department, I just care that my kids are happy and well taken care off, yk? Our ds2 has always been a bit more...um...in touch with his feminine side than his brothers, as well, most of his friends at school are girls. So we weren't surprised to find him going to two all-girl (except for him) birthday parties this past school year







He once told me he wanted to be a girl, but then decided not. he loved his butterfly wings and tutu more than his cars a year ago, you get the picture. So dh and I started talking about what it would be like to have a child who is gay (yes, I know he's young, and these aren't "marks" of gayness or anything lol! his actions were just an opening for us to talk about it) and we laughed that ds2 would either make a great husband or a fantabulous drag queen







:LOL
This year I relayed this conversation to another parent where my boys go to school and he said to me, "yes, but i bet you have a preference of one over the other" *wink wink nod nod knowwhatImean* so I replied, "YES! It would be SO COOL to have a drag queen in the family! i mean we have three other children to give us grandchildren, if they want to!"








yeah, well this was him







and then









*snicker snicker snort*

unfortunately the last time I conversed with this man I had to tell him that his son was misbehaving on the playground.(oh, I work at the school, too.) he told me to take his son by the ear and YANK IT! to get him to behave, AS IF!!!!!???? I kindly told him we aren't allowed to do that and there is a fine line between fear and respect. I still don't think he gets it.


----------



## geekgolightly

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PumpkinSeeds*
My MIL said that by nursing my ds I was going to turn him into a homosexual.

:LOL







:

thats hilarious and really sad at the same time. the vast far reaching implications of this thought frightens me


----------



## kamilla626

When dd was just a couple months old, and the in-laws were visiting, dd was crying and wimpering and turning her head away from everyone that looked at her.

I said, "She's not used to all these new faces and sounds, it looks like she's over-stimulated."

Then my MIL starts getting all coochy-coo in dd's face and grabs her little hands and says (in the most annoying squeaky voice) "Are we over-stimuwated? Yes we are!! Yes we are!! We're getty vewwy vewwy sweepy aren't we?"

Of course then dd was REALLY wailing.

Even dh wanted to just smack her!


----------



## jessikate

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kamilla626*
Then my MIL starts getting all coochy-coo in dd's face and grabs her little hands and says (in the most annoying squeaky voice) "Are we over-stimuwated? Yes we are!! Yes we are!! We're getty vewwy vewwy sweepy aren't we?"

Sounds like my MIL. To quote her, my DH "wouldn't go to sleep and wouldn't go to sleep. We had to put him in his room, shut the door, run away [to get him to sleep]." Grr. Even now, she's still the most hyper adult I know, and she gets DD so wound up it's not funny.

She'll also say something stupid to DD, like "Do you want some chocolate/candy/crack?" and then look at DH or me and say "Or won't your parents let you have that?" in a tone that implies we're depriving her of something necessary. She started that well before DD was on solids, maybe when she was just two or three months.

At least she's pretty nice, and they're on board with our parenting style.


----------



## jessikate

Just thought of another one...

I went to the free zoo with a friend, her friend, and all of the kids (five between us) when DD was 3-4 months old. As we were walking along, she turned to me and said "You're not going to teach [DD] any signs are you? Because I have a friend who did and her daughter wouldn't talk until she was two." Like it'd be the worst thing in the world to have a child who could communicate well enough through signs to not need to talk until she was really ready. Honestly.









DD says a few words at 15 months but mostly uses signs for more, eat, food, drink, ball, bird. Once she started signing, we got over a HUGE hump as far as frustration went. I don't care if she doesn't talk until she's five - she can communicate, and that's what's important.


----------



## reilly's momma

Studies have found that children who sign generally start talking earlier, not later, but my response to that person would have been, "Well, Einstein didn't talk until he was three, so I'm not really worried about it."

Opinions don't bug me, even if I don't agree with them, but people who tout their opinions as facts, well, I better not go there or I'll get grouchy. UGh....


----------



## kamilla626

Quote:

She'll also say something stupid to DD, like "Do you want some chocolate/candy/crack?"
:LOL CRACK!! I love it!!

(No, I don't mean I love crack, just... well... forget it)


----------



## CTMOMOF2

"Quote:
She'll also say something stupid to DD, like "Do you want some chocolate/candy/crack?"

CRACK!! I love it!!

(No, I don't mean I love crack, just... well... forget it)"

:LOL














:
You're funny! haha


----------



## loving-my-babies

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lilyka*
I had a friend who did the "I couldn't BF because I had no milk - just a few drops " (duh - thats all that is supposed to be there). And then go on to complain because her Dr. wouldn't give her the shot to dry up.







: I just wanted to stand up and scream. Some people just don't get it.

The dumbest thing I have ever heard is one of the nurses in the NICU when dd#1 was born told me I wuld know she was latched on right when it hurt.































This has happened to me as well. I get it a lot. Why do they do the "I didn't have any milk" thing?? I now say "really? where you diagnosed with that? because that can't actually happen! This lady from work said her milk never came in and (from what she said) her doctor (yes, a supposedly educated person) told her that this happens "all the time". She said she didn't even try to bf her second one because she has "my-milk-doesn't-come-in syndrome"
is this even possible?


----------



## loving-my-babies

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jogirl*
oh goodness... some of these stories are doosies!

some stuff i've been told:

tammy, you can't nurse lying down - that's just lazy
(geesh mom!!)

my most appalling comment is: "babies just cry"

I HATE THAT... babies just don't cry in my house (well, maybe when their exhausted and can't be calmed), but otherwise - never! When Anna cries it means she needs something changed and it's our job to figure it out. I soooo hate that line!

I HATE THAT TOO! Babies don't just cry. Just like you, not in my house. Some people can't believe my kids don't cry... I meet all their needs, why would they? I hate it when people say that!

Also, I hate it when people ask me if Vincent is "a good baby". I always say "there are no "bad" babies" do you really believe that?


----------



## peacefulmom

GOOD goddess these are so crazy to read....but wow I dont have time to tell you all my crazy







mainstream inlaws ideas on parenting...there aer so many we have not seen or talked to them in over a year because they are so scary but one of my faves was my hibbies brother who has a daughter 1 year older thatn our babe and in the middle of a batttle about us not wanting to be around them and that we didnt want our daughter to see Lexi get hit he said" raising kids is like training a dog"....







....I asked him if she has a accident do you rub her nose in it....we dont get along AT ALL..Ill think of more soon Im sure it wont take long


----------



## beaconlighthero

My cousin said her milk never came in. She was heartbroken about it because she really wanted to nurse her baby and just feels awful, she tried and tried, but could not get anything.


----------



## sunmountain

Quote:

"Do you want some chocolate/candy/crack?"
you mean she's offering your baby CRACK????








I'd be concerned too!


----------



## jessikate

No, of course she's not offering my DD crack! :LOL Just being silly.


----------



## geogirl

My Gmil upon hearing how chunky our 4/5 month old breastfed baby was, "Your milk is too rich, he needs to be on a skim milk and veggie diet..." Umm yeah, right....


----------



## Ravin

Ooh, yeah, put the babe on skim milk so she can have poor brain/neurological development, among other things.

I've gotten several new ones, the biggest probably being that someone called the cops on me when I was walking down the street w/ DD on my back in the Kozy Carrier, asleep. A patrolman pulled over, got out and approached me, and explained why he'd stopped.
Then he commented that he could see that the baby was fine, and had sunscreen on her head even (it was hot and sunny and her hat was dirty). I had him pull the top edge of the Kozy up around her head a bit and continued on my way to the park.

How could someone going down the road at 45mph reasonably decide there's something wrong w/ my baby and that I, who can feel her breathing because she's up against my body, wouldn't notice?

I've gotten a few other negative comments about babywearing, but that one really takes the cake.

I did have a funny comment from a bus driver, though. I had DD on my back, and our library bag and the diaper bag over one shoulder. As I was standing at the front of the bus waiting to get off (and holding on to the railing) he said,

"I'd say you have your hands full, but you don't!"

I know he sees people struggle on and off the bus w/ strollers and babes in arms every day, as I do every other time I ride the bus. I feel sorry for them, usually.


----------



## gilamomma

I had a very normal pregnancy and never had an ultrasound because I didn't need one, but you know...everyone in every store I went into asked me "do you know what it's going to be?"

My usual answer was "Well, we Think it's going to be a baby"
(like, as opposed to puppies or something)

That usually got them pretty flustered, one woman got kinda upset that I had been so bold!

HaHa!


----------



## twopeasinpod

My pregnancy was, and offspring are, a call to all the brilliant people to come out of the cracks and make comments, so I tried responding the best I could, with sarcasm dripping:

*"Twins! I feel SO sorry for you, I could never do it, glad it's not me!"*

I'm also very glad it's not you, buh-bye.

*"Why would you bother to nurse twins? Bottles are easier"*

I have two breasts, why not?

*"You must be doing the fertility drug thing"*

No, just crack.

*"That's gonna be a lot of POOP!"*

(blank stare)

*"Did you do In-vitro?"*

No, why? Are you having trouble conceiving?
*
"How do you tell them apart?"*

The tattoos on the rears

*"Are the identical/fraternal/paternal/maternal/schizzlemynizzle?"*

Are you asking the sex?
*
"Which one is easier?"*

To do what with?

*and the all time winner for twins mamas!*

"ARE THEY TWINS?"

no, it's your eyesight.

oh, the gods help me....

Maya


----------



## Apri

"Are the identical/fraternal/paternal/maternal/schizzlemynizzle?"

Lol! I love the schizzlemynizzle!

My fave so far would be asking my mil if she thought that my sil (who's due in Spetember) would use a sling if we bought one for her. I finally got my Kozy carrier and absolutely love it, so I was thinking she may like one too. My mil said she never used one with her first ds (who is 13 now) because they *didn't have them back then* so she didn't think she would this time either.







: Funny, Dh's bestfriend's mom said she had used them with both her children who are dh and his sister's age!

When ds was born dh carried him around in a sling because we didn't like the idea of carrying him around in the carseat like our friend's had done. We so couldn't see the point of not wanting to hold your baby. We ran into our friends in the store and our friend goes over to dh to tell him he looks funny carrying ds around "like that". I wasn't carrying him because I had a C-section and wasn't allowed to carry more than 10 pounds. Ds was 10 pounds 2 ounces at birth! That and Dh loves carrying ds around, so why not let him?

I don't get why if someone doesn't like something for themselves, why pick on other people for deciding it's for them?


----------



## Jordansmommy

Have also gotten the "does she sleep through the night?" and "is she a good baby?" Ugh. Now I just say "why do you ask?" Most people can't think of an answer... I guess they're just making conversation.

As for co-sleeping: "You'll never get her out of your bed!" and "Aren't you afraid you'll roll over on her?"









Babywearing... forget it. "Why don't you put her down once in a while?" (To Jordan: ) "You want to be in your bouncy chair! Tell mommy you want to be in the bouncy chair! This sling is too cramped!"

My mom was the worst though. BFing was going to "tie me down" and "isolate me." My breast pump is "the dairy cow equipment" (yes, complete with mooing sounds) "How will she grow on just your milk?"

(note that DD was 6lbs 9oz and hit 12 lbs before the 2 month mark! talk about high-octane stuff...







)

The pregnancy questions were the best though... "Oh a honeymoon baby! Was it an accident?"

GAH! None of your business! (and for the record no... we were just really lucky on the first try







)


----------



## dnr3301

I seriously just read this whole thread and cracked up the whole time. I think it's taken me about 4 days to read it.

My FIL (visiting when ds (second baby) was one day old): so is he on a schedule yet? uuummmmm, yeah, it mostly involves sleeping, nursing, and pooping all day long. I think my actual response was a blank look.

We didn't get a crib until I was about 8 months pg with dd and dh's g'ma asked us all the time where the baby would sleep. We told her with us and her face was priceless. Then we got the crib and she stopped asking until she came over once and there were clothes in it (it's really more of a 200 dollar clothes bin, really good use of money, huh?). Then she asked us if we clear all the clothes out every time we "put her down." ummm, no.

I get the squished baby in the sling thing too.

AND the "good baby" thing. I hate it. I say "all babies are good babies." Last time I was asked that was a few weeks ago by dh's aunt. Wehn I gave her my answer, she said, "I know, aren't babies great, I just love them." I still wasn't clear on what she wanted to know exactly.

Dd nursed until I was about 5 months pg with ds, she was about 2 1/2. By that time, I had heard so many of the dumb nursing comments and survived, they really quit talking to me about it. Does anyone have a really good comeback for the "if they can ask for it, they're too old for it" comment? That was the only one I didn't have something snappy that put people in their place, other than it being stupid logic.

What a great thread.


----------



## karlin

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PumpkinSeeds*
My MIL said that by nursing my ds I was going to turn him into a homosexual.

Have they ever considered that the human race would never have survived one generation if that were true?
:LOL


----------



## Ravin

Quote:

"How do you tell them apart?"

The tattoos on the rears















:

My younger sisters are (identical) twins. We heard 'em all. When asked if they were twins, my dad used to say, "No, they're six months apart." Confused the heck out of most people dim enough to ask the question.

When I see twins, I never say, "Are they twins?" I always go, "Ooh, twins!" as a statement, not a question. And if they have an older sib I always give him/her a spot of attention, because I never liked it when I was overlooked while others gawked over the twins.


----------



## MelissaEvans

Quote:

anyone have a really good comeback for the "if they can ask for it, they're too old for it" comment?
I've heard this one too. I guess I'm kinda lucky in a way since DS hasn't started using words yet (20mo). I guess people think they should punish a child for learning new skills - these are the same people who don't recognize that by nuzzling, rooting, crying, sucking on fists, and so forth, a baby *is* asking to nurse. Just because a child can't speak, doesn't mean s/he can't communicate. DS pats my chest to tell me he wants to nurse; he knocks on the door to tell me he wants to go outside to play; he hugs and kisses me to tell me he loves me.


----------



## OwensMa

I'm only on #73, and not only are these posts funny, but some are sad. I actually can believe the ignorance of some people. I've heard a lot of these comments. When I respond with acutal, logical and truthful replies, I get looked at like I've got 3 heads! I hear all the time "is he sleeping through the nigh?" Does it matter?! It's not like the questioner's sleep is affected if he isn't. We cosleep and BF, and it's now just so much easier to say "Yep!" Also, we've heard the "Is he a good baby?" Um, acutally, no (sarcasm). He's alsways stealing from my purse, bringing girls home and smokin' behind the garage. Ugh, what else could he be, but good? My stepmother who KNOWS-IT-ALL, told me when DS was a newborn, that BF snacks aren't good, that he should empty a breast, and then I should feed him 4 hrs sooner, no earlier, as he was over 10lbs. Like that was a magical number.
I get so sick of it...


----------



## wendyk

Sometimes I wonder what rock people have crawled out of! These posts are too funny!

When I was pg, I was working as a home health nurse. I went to see a pt one day that I had never seen before. She asked "Are you pregnant?" Me: "Yes ma'am." Her "and they let you be a nurse?!" Me: "Well, yes, and I can honestly say no one has ever asked me that before." All the while I was wracking my brain trying to remember if I took a vow of celibacy in nursing school!


----------



## candiland

"My younger sisters are (identical) twins. We heard 'em all. When asked if they were twins, my dad used to say, "No, they're six months apart." Confused the heck out of most people dim enough to ask the question." - posted by Ravin

I was asked last week if my two year old and four year old were twins!!! :LOL

I got all the typical faves, although by far my favorite came from my own sister: "I don't know, nursing a two year old is just weird. I think that most women do it for their own pleasure."







Um, yeah. Lemme tell ya just how pleasurable it is...


----------



## OwensMa

Oh, I forgot one, but it's actually my DH's:

Whille shopping at the mall, I was in a store trying on some clothes. DH was waiting on a bench, holding DS who was 6wks old at the time. The woman, who was sitting next to DH said "He's such a beautiful baby...Is he yours?"
DH answered "I hope so!" Was she questioning my fidelity or my DH's appearance? Lol, what a twit!


----------



## *Erin*

once when i was pregnant, about 8 months along, i rode along with dh when he needed a physical for a new job. as i sat in the waiting room, trying to mind my own business, this woman kept talking to me, telling me all sorts of weird stuff, the weirdest being "oh, you look like you're at that point where the baby is about to start taking the fat off of your legs and eating it"

ahhhhh! what??!?!?!







:









when dd was about 3 months old, she loved to stand up as i held on to her hands (she's always been really physical)-we were meeting with a new ped. one day, and i was holding onto to dd's hands letting her stand on the table when she entered the room. she gasped out something about how she prayed i was supported dd's legs, because the hip sockets are like putty at her age, and she will be so bowlegged she won't be able to walk







i assured her that she was fine, that i'd never heard of such..same visit she also told me i should begin letting her "fuss" at night when she was hungry or she would never understand the difference between night and day.







:

another time, a lady at the bank asked me if dd could breathe in the sling (she was about 5 months old, sitting kangaroo style at the time, and she could see her!) i started to say, um no, she's suffocating as we speak?!?!?


----------



## StarMama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *loving-my-babies*
This has happened to me as well. I get it a lot. Why do they do the "I didn't have any milk" thing?? I now say "really? where you diagnosed with that? because that can't actually happen! This lady from work said her milk never came in and (from what she said) her doctor (yes, a supposedly educated person) told her that this happens "all the time". She said she didn't even try to bf her second one because she has "my-milk-doesn't-come-in syndrome"
is this even possible?

Yes it is possible. My milk never "came in" as in I never had a point where my milk appeared. I have an incredibly low supply, and when my ds was only 10 pounds at 4 months old and looking bony I decided to supplement (and I tried everything to get my milk supply up). I *do* have milk, and only had to give Orion a few bottles a day (still nursing and supplementing now, but more solids), but I never got full breasts. So that's different from not having any milk at all, but yes, it is possible for your milk to not come in. I am heartbroken about it, and was beyond desperate to not have to use formula.


----------



## allgirls

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MamaLotus*
One day we were in WalMart and I had a cute little red bindhi sticker on my babes 3rd eye and a very concerned woman asked me what was that thing on my babies head and if it was permanent! I sarcasticly said yes it is permanent and then horrified she wanted to know how I did it and so i told her it was a thumb tack!









:


----------



## Melissa S

I'm sure many of you got this one. I got it three times while pregnant with #4 the last three being closely spaced. I was asked, "did anyone ever tell you how you get that way?" pointing to my obviously pregnant stomach (like I don't know about BC or something... I just choose not to screw around with my body... or wait, maybe I do! LOL). I was advised by a friend that if I heard it again I should say, "Yes, and obviously we do it very well!".

When I had #4 I knew I was in labor. However, the contractions were inconsistent right up to the end. I was telling the nurse in the beginning stages (when I first got to the hospital) that as soon as I sat down it stopped but when I got up it would come on hard and heavy. She said, "Honey, if it's labor it's labor. If it's not it's not." She was implying that I was in false labor. You think after having 3 kids I don't know what true labor feels like? She ate her words when a few minutes later I was 5 cm dilated.

One night DS got out of his crib in the middle of the night, wandered to the kitchen and got a sharp knife. I woke up from the noise he was making and found him. I told my MIL and she said I needed to put a canopy over him so he can't get out! Apparently FIL had to get a canopy put over his crib so he couldn't get out b/c he would get up in the middle of the night and touch the wood burning furnace which in those days was the stove.

I could go on. I just read the first page and I'm PIMP!

Melissa S


----------



## Melissa S

I met a woman while my car was getting fixed who thought my 4 mo old dd was so cute she said she's like to take her home with her. I said, "yeah, until she gets hungry!" She said, "Oh, just give me the bottle" I said "no bottle here! feeding time would be very unpleasant for you!" She got the picture and said, "Oh, the doctors tried to get me to do that when I had my baby and I just told them they could go to hell!". She seemed pretty offended at me by now









I have acquaintances (hubby and wife) who smoked in the house all through both children's pregnancies. After they were both born premature with complications and multiple infections in NICU and complications during labor (both with epidurals and induced) the husband summed it up... "I guess she was just one of those people who wasn't meant to have many kids" (for some strange unknown reason she always has problems with pregnancy and labor). You got that right! I want to take those kids home to my nice smoke free environment and give them all my BM they never got, lol.


----------



## Melissa S

Some of the other posts made me think of this (I'm not even halfway through, this is such a good thread). I was looking at some of my keepsakes and found my mom's The Canadian Mother and Child 1975, printed the year I was born as the ultimate guide to mothering a newborn. I was just thumbing through it and found this advice: "don't feel bad about leaving the baby for long periods with a babysitter right away as you need times to be away from the baby. A baby this age does not know the difference between a babysitter and the mother yet anyway and is unable to feel your love for him"





















...and this coming from the experts of the day! No wonder our parent's have screwed up parenting ideas!

Melissa S


----------



## adventuregirl

My dh heard this just the other day. He is remodeling a seriously molded and rotted bathroom. When he came into the home, it reeked of cigarette smoke, he saw they had a baby and of course felt sad for it. When he had done a little demo, they wanted to have a look and the wife says, "here, hold the baby, I don't want him near the mold".







: Like the mold is going to be your biggest worry.....


----------



## Izzybee

DD's one ped said to let her cry it out.
We don't see him anymore.


----------



## jayayenay

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jordansmommy*
The pregnancy questions were the best though... "Oh a honeymoon baby! Was it an accident?"

Ughh! I would have said, "No, but talking to you sure was!"


----------



## witchbaby

my fil is a ped. he was/is very concerned with our co-sleeping with k-- he told dh he's seen "so many kids who were hurt by co-sleeping." well, DUH. you're a doctor! why would people bring you their perfectly-healthy co-sleeping kids?!
my bil is very sweet and very in love with his neice, but he and his wife have no kids (and don't plan to anytime soon) and thus don't know a whole lot about them. they visited in march and i, of course, spent a great deal of time bf'ing k. he asked dh when we were going to switch her to formula. dh replied we weren't ever and he was very confused-- he thought you had to! (of course, neither of them were bf!)
and a question: why is it anyone who doesn't want to co-sleep always has a cousin's friend's next-door-neighbor's dog walker who co-slept with their kid and "could never get them out" but co-sleepers never seem to know any of those families?!


----------



## Melissa S

I have four kids and the last three are close together. I always get, "were they planned?" I don't have a big issue with this. I always respond, "Yes, God planned each one of them!". And that's exactly how I feel. I always knew I would have kids but "I" never planned them or when they would come. I figure there's Someone with a bigger plan than mine. So if they persist, "yeah, but did you plan them??" I just explain, "no, and it's all good".

Melissa


----------



## GatorNNP

My response to "is he sleeping through the night?"

Of course! except for when he needs to eat.


----------



## Melissa S

That's a good one, Gator!


----------



## Elana

I can't wait to share mine...

I was walking down the street with my dd (21 months), who insists on walking, whenever I'm in a hurry. So I let her walk and held her hand. We pass an old lady who looks at me and says: "that's horrible! You dragging her along like that, she can't keep up!!" and gives me the most disgusted look. I was shocked!!! (I was expecting oooooh what a cutie). I smiled sweetly and said, "she seems to be walking pretty well to me!" :LOL

Dh was in the market and dealing with our angry dd (4) who wanted a very big carton of chocolate milk. He was doing a very good job of distracting her to take something else, when an old lady (again) says: "you know, it's cheaper to hire a baby-sitter for half an hour". He didn't even comment. I would have said - "at what age should we let her out?"

I live in a very hot and humid climate. In the summer, when I'm sweating my guts out I always have someone walk up to me, as soon as there's a refreshing breeze, who says: "shouldn't she have a blanket or something?" (with the guilt looks).







:

the best was when my mil's friend walked up to me and my very pudgy 4 month old baby and said: "All that is from bm? I'm shocked!" (no, I feed her 9% cream cheese 5 times a day!"


----------



## Elana

Oh and my reply to "does she sleep through the night?" is "of course! in between her wake-ups". This always leaves them very confused...


----------



## Elana

When I was pregnant and people would ask me..."Do you know what you're having?" I would answer..."I am pretty sure it is a baby but my husband is rooting for a puppy"








:


----------



## Elana

shelley4 said:


> on slinging.. my mother in law saw me carrying my newborn in our sling and said "does she like the sling?".. i said DUH.. does it look like she likes it? would i put her in it if she hated it?!?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> dh grandmother saw our dd in the over the shoulder sling, for the first time, at the age of 4 months and went something like: "HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH - where's the seatbelt!!!!!" (she was dead serious). I always get the comments to the maya-wrap: "is she comfortable in there?" (no, she's like a doll, I can do whatever I want to her...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> )


----------



## April 2007

I heard a strange one from my grandmother today. My ds (21 mos) was running around the backyard wearing only a tee shirt. I saw the look in her eyes (she is totally appalled whenever he's not fully clothed with shirt, matching shorts, diaper, socks and shoes...oh, and hat and sunblock), and I knew she was about to say that he shouldn't be exposing himself to the world.

Much to my surprise, her comment was even more ridiculous than I thought! She said, "shouldn't he have a diaper on? What if he gets hurt?"








HUH?! Since when did they start advertising diapers as being super-powered "hurt protectors"??

Maybe it makes more sense to someone else...I'm still confused! LoL


----------



## roseselene

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Elana*
I can't wait to share mine...

I was walking down the street with my dd (21 months), who insists on walking, whenever I'm in a hurry. So I let her walk and held her hand. We pass an old lady who looks at me and says: "that's horrible! You dragging her along like that, she can't keep up!!" and gives me the most disgusted look. I was shocked!!! (I was expecting oooooh what a cutie). I smiled sweetly and said, "she seems to be walking pretty well to me!" :LOL


Its funny that you mention that. Just the other day I was at the mall with 17month old DD. I never even bother to bring the sling or stroller any more...because she insists on walking. So anyway, so was having a blast walking around everywhere, up the little 3 step thing and then back down it, practicing going up those steps over and over again. so this old lady walks up to me and says "doesn't she want a stroller?"







I just asked "does it look like she wants one?" I mean really? she was having a blast....ok, i'm 24 weeks pregnant....I would love her to sit down, I'd love to sit down....but to ask if SHE wants a stroller. very odd.
Amy


----------



## roseselene

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Blessed81902*








HUH?! Since when did they start advertising diapers as being super-powered "hurt protectors"??


:LOL
That's funny!! I never knew that not wearing a diaper was dangerous. All of us potty trained people are setting ourselves up for disasters each day by not wearing diapers.


----------



## Nates_mommy

How does he sleep?

This is the dumbest question of them all, even from people who have 4 kids of their own ask this one!!!

my reply: Like a Baby.

duh!!!


----------



## Victorian

Maybe it was a "wear clean underware in case you get into a car accident" kinda thing.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Blessed81902*
I heard a strange one from my grandmother today. My ds (21 mos) was running around the backyard wearing only a tee shirt. I saw the look in her eyes (she is totally appalled whenever he's not fully clothed with shirt, matching shorts, diaper, socks and shoes...oh, and hat and sunblock), and I knew she was about to say that he shouldn't be exposing himself to the world.

Much to my surprise, her comment was even more ridiculous than I thought! She said, "shouldn't he have a diaper on? What if he gets hurt?"








HUH?! Since when did they start advertising diapers as being super-powered "hurt protectors"??

Maybe it makes more sense to someone else...I'm still confused! LoL


----------



## Melissa S

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Blessed81902*
Much to my surprise, her comment was even more ridiculous than I thought! She said, "shouldn't he have a diaper on? What if he gets hurt?"








HUH?! Since when did they start advertising diapers as being super-powered "hurt protectors"??

Perhaps she likes the idea that it's extra padding if he falls, but I vouch for the interpretation that if for some reason there's an emergency he'll be going to the hospital half-naked. You gotta be ready for anything!









Melissa S


----------



## Irishmommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Apri*
I don't get why if someone doesn't like something for themselves, why pick on other people for deciding it's for them?









But isn't that what this thread is doing to them? And other threads too?


----------



## 2+twins

I know I've had tons of stupid comments made to me, but my memory isn't so good. Here's what I CAN remember...

A "friend" and I were talking about how one of the babies I miscarried would be about a year old now. She says to me, "It just hurts me so much that he's not here. I mean, he should be and it was so painful to me when you lost him. I was devastated by the whole thing and it made me very depressed."
I don't remember all of what she said, but she did ramble on and on about how awful my m/c was for HER.









I guess that comment was both insensitive AND stupid. I mean, I'm sure it didn't both ME one bit, right? Come on, have a _little_ tact! I had no comeback.

Okay, and this one is more of a pet peeve than a dumb thing someone has said. I hate it when someone says, "Wow, your husband delivered your baby?!?!" (in regards to my unexpected UC). I say, "No, *I* delivered my baby. He just caught her."

Oh, the other thing I can remember happened when my (relatively bald) daughter was about 10 months old. I was waiting for an elevator with her in her stroller at the mall. She was wearing a *dress*. The lady who was waiting as well says...

Lady: Oh he's so cute! How old is he?
Me: *SHE'S* 10 months old.
Lady: Oh he's so chubby. What's his name?
Me: *HER* name is Caitlin.
Lady: He's very cute.
Me: Thanks.

Ugh! I just give up!


----------



## Melissa S

I got a chuckle out of the downright silly advice, like the lady who thought if you go swimming while preggo you would drown the baby, or the one who thought lifting your arms over your head while preggo would strangle the baby, but I also think that some stupid/downright insulting advice is with best intention. eg: I wonder if the friend who kept on how the misscarriage affected HER.... I wonder if she was only trying to avoid sounding callous - the total opposite of what she came off as. Would it have hurt more if she said something like....."Oh, well. We have to just go on and let by-gones be by-gones"?. Death is a difficult subject to deal with in the first place, no one knows quite what to say. On the other hand, some people lack the gift of tact. Perhaps other examples of stupid things said were just brain farts














:ignore . I'm just sensing some anger and bitterness creeping into this thread. I like this proverb - No man has ever been perfect but only had perfect intentions.

Melissa S (trying not to make this thread a counselling session).


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## crazy_eights

A relative who had a child shortly after I had my first was confiding to me "she is so sweet! I just can't imagine that one day when she bites me I'll have to bite her back."

HUH?

She was under the impression that a) all children bite eventually and b) that the accepted method to 'cure' the problem is to bite them back.

I hope her maternal instinct kicked in and she didn't actually do it if her child bit her!


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## 2+twins

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Melissa S*
I wonder if the friend who kept on how the misscarriage affected HER.... I wonder if she was only trying to avoid sounding callous - the total opposite of what she came off as. Would it have hurt more if she said something like....."Oh, well. We have to just go on and let by-gones be by-gones"?. Death is a difficult subject to deal with in the first place, no one knows quite what to say. On the other hand, some people lack the gift of tact. Perhaps other examples of stupid things said were just brain farts














:ignore . I'm just sensing some anger and bitterness creeping into this thread. I like this proverb - No man has ever been perfect but only had perfect intentions.

Well, I'm sure that _tends_ to be the case, but for my friend, she does that kind of thing ALL the time. Like the time she told me (in front of a changing room full of strangers at the mall) that my butt was falling and that I should try to do something about it. Huh? Nice stuff like that - she's truly tactless and is self-admittedly so. Oh well. I just thought her m/c comment was a dumb thing to say. It gave me the feeling that I was supposed to comfort _her_ or something.


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## April 2007

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Melissa S*
I'm just sensing some anger and bitterness creeping into this thread

Ah...but then what would be entertaining about this thread?









I think this thread is a great place to vent, act bitter, angry, annoyed, etc., because in "real life", many/most of us just *can't* do that, and don't have anyone who is willing to listen to it and understand where we're coming from...let alone actually think it's a form of entertainment!! LOL

It's like a mini temper tantrum. You can only take so much emotional overload of stupid advice/opinions before you have to let it out so your mind can actually function properly, lol


----------



## Rach

Quote:


Originally Posted by *love_homebirthing*
A "friend" and I were talking about how one of the babies I miscarried would be about a year old now. She says to me, "It just hurts me so much that he's not here. I mean, he should be and it was so painful to me when you lost him. I was devastated by the whole thing and it made me very depressed."
I don't remember all of what she said, but she did ramble on and on about how awful my m/c was for HER.









My sister-in-law was doing something similar recently. My nephew was diagnosed in utero with a heart condition and whenever the subject came up, my sil would jump in with "Oh! *I'm* just so worried about the baby! *I'm* just afraid he might die!" We had to remind her "Yes...we ALL are." Everything always had to be about her. Sheeeeeeesh!
I'm sorry for your loss. And I'm sorry your friend reacted that way.

I get the "How old is he?" question a lot. My poor bean needs to grow some hair! Although, everyone's advice on that situation is piercing her ears!!


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## buttercup

Okay...this thread made me remember something...When DH and I are shopping, I will put ds in a sling on one side and usually end up putting dd in a sling on the otherside. Comments are not needed because I can read the 'shock' expressions on their face...like 'you poor girl.' I normally get the "you got your hands full." Duh, no I don't...that is why I wear slings. I don't feel like being a smart ass to people who make comments like that because many of them really don't know.


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## Annie

Whew! Finally finnished the whole thread. Some stupid/horrible things said to me:

Kids are expensive. Really? I thought they'd rake in money *sarcastically* I mean thanks for assuming i'm too stupid to figure that out.Or was the guy thinking that'd make me change my mind about having kids? Considering that we're willing to literally spend thousands just for a tiny shot at just getting pregnant...not that the guy knows that. Gee thanks man, like i'm that shallow.

A couple of years ago from a mom friend who breastfed both her boys: breastfeeding isnt really worth it, because you dont really save any money, what with having to buy nursing bras, and nursing shirts (she *swore* up and down you cant just lift a reg shirt and LAUGHED at me, nevermind that my mom nursed three kids and never had a single nursing shirt).

Nursing mommy friend also said nursing isnt worth it, cuz it doesnt save much money because you have to stay home with the kid, and then are sacrificing your paycheck, and that reduces the money savings, so that means nursing isnt worth it. Hello? DOnt kids need mommy, and there is this thing called breastpumps. And i think the health bennefits are more important then money. I think my time with my child is worht way more than all the money in the world!

SO then she said: It really doesnt help your child's health. Both my kids have horrible allergies, with ds1 having deathly peanut allergies.

I didnt get the chance to tell her that ds1 might have *died* from peanut oil that might have been in formula.(I have no idea actually) So for her BF might have been lifesaving in that instance.

Oh yeah, and she said that CD's dont save you much money, or enough to make it worth it, and arnt any better for the environment bc all detergents have phosphates, and cd's and laundering costs so much. Also she claims there's no way a household washingmachine can get hot enough water to 'sanitize' them.

I was like 'what about the dryer, wont that get hot enough to kill germs?'

All i can say is i'm glad i know better and i would really have regretted taking her 'advice', especially on BF. I'd be so sad if I finally had a babe and missed out.

The one good thing she said was that you dont need all that baby equipment, just a sling and walk them in it. I'm still TTC so we'll have to see how that pans out, but sounds good to me.

Please dont think i want to 'dump' all over her. It just blows my mind that a mom who BF would say that! FOrtunately my friendly neighbor nursed both her kids and is a huge lactivist, she's already trying to 'convert' me and i told her she's preaching to the choir.

Sorry this was sooo long!


----------



## jessemoon

I just spent hours reading this thread and it made me laugh







.
I, too, have had many foolish things said to me (most of which have been covered here). What amuses me even more though is the "crunchier-than-thou" remarks that I get in my community.

I live in an extremely crunchy community in which it seems impossible to be AP or progressive _enough_. I also belong to a mom's group of about fifteen other women in which this is the case. I love and adore these women and this is, in no way, a criticism of their parenting choices (99% of which I agree with).

By the standards of most of the country I am a raving AP hippie lunatic







.
My DH and I were both lucky enough to be raised in families in which we were BFed, cuddled, worn, fed organic veggies after 6 months etc. Our parents fought those battles with the Dr. Spock generation so we didn't have to. Heck, I was raised in ti-pi on goat milk and organic, homemade tofu.

By the standards of my mom's group, however, I am pretty darn mainstream. Mainstream in this case means:

1. Selective and delayed vaccinations instead of avoiding all vaccs (not a debate here







)

2. Using a stroller instead of a sling for long walks

3. Co-sleeping but using an arms-reach co-sleeper when I can talk my DS into it









4. Letting DS (4 months old) play with some brightly colored plastic toys instead of only wooden german/swedish ones.

5. We are unlikely to raise DS vegan or raw-foodist

6. Cloth diapering with cotton instead of hemp

7. Diapering instead of EC (not a criticism of EC..just not for us)

8. Homebirthing my son, but going to a pediatrician for well-baby checks (I just ignore the advice I disagree with and also see a naturopath).

9. We would consider the possibility of sending DS to public elementary school instead of Waldorf.

etc.

Noone is ever really unkind, but I do get some remarks like: " Oh...he really likes that _plastic_ (said with mild sneer) toy doesn't he?" or "Oh...I don't know anyone else who has _that_ kind of stroller". Apparently jogging strollers are cool, but normal ol' Graco's are too mainstream for words. It makes me giggle.

Now, don't get me wrong, I am tickled pink to live in a community where organic food is easily available, where people ask where I had my baby because there are so many homebirths and where breastfeeding is the norm. I am certainly not complaining. It is far better than the alternative for our family. I think, though, that sometimes we (and I include myself in this) feel the need to continually prove how concerned, AP, eco-friendly, progressive we are that we can come across as elitist or judgemental of those who make other choices.

But, on the other hand, a woman came up to me in our local co-op the other day and said (after looking as if she were about to say something and then stopping) " I was about to give you a piece of advice, but I won't. You are obviously a great mom and he is your baby, not mine. I will keep my grandma mouth shut. Just love him and you already do that." Bless her!









I am going to try to follow her example when I see a mom doing something that _I_ wouldn't with _her_ children (short of abuse, of course)

Good luck and Bless You to all of you in the trenches dealing with the formula-pushers, CIO advocates and spankers.


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## Wildcrafter

Here's the latest for me.

Spent the day at mil's last weekend. When we get there at 8:30 am (dh was to work on her roof and paint some trim for her that day) mil asks, can ds have a fig newton?

I said no, ds can't have any wheat or dairy products. This being told for the zillionth time, ds is now two and has always had sensitivites to both.

An hour later, does ds want some italian bread toasted?
No.
A few minutes later, can ds have some ritz crackers?
No.
At lunch, does ds want a glass of milk?
No.
At lunch, does ds want some dip with his carrots?
No.
After lunch, can ds have a piece of peanut butter pie (filled with cream cheese)?
No.
After lunch, does ds want some cheese, I have all kinds of cheese?
No.
After dinner, I have some cottage cheese, can he eat that?
No.
After dinner, How long are you going to nurse?

I AM NOT KIDDING ABOUT THIS. THIS REALLY HAPPENED!!!!!


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## mamajo2004

Goodness, I just finished this thread - took days. Its really sad that there is enough ignorance to fill 30 pages...

Something awful that was said by my own brother - I ruined the family blood line because my daugter is 1/4 mexican and 1/4 navajo...we're "white" (family blood line - what are we, dogs?). We are a mix of anything euro and even some cherokee and blackfoot way way back - how is that not mixed?

This is dumb but in a cute way. We have a friend who is so sweet but very naive and clueless sometimes (childless as well). When my ds was born he came to see him in the hospital, picked him up while he was sleeping and asked "When does he open his eyes?". I was a little confused and said "When he wakes up?". And then I realized what he was asking and I said "...did you think he was a kitten?" lol


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## JohnnysGirl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamajo2004*
"When does he open his eyes?". I was a little confused and said "When he wakes up?". And then I realized what he was asking and I said "...did you think he was a kitten?" lol









LMAO--that is so cute and hilarious.







:


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## mamajo2004

I forgot to add...

Dh's boss saw how tired he was from getting up at night...and suggested we put the baby in another room (we only have a 2 br house so hes in with us) so that we wont hear him cry so much...and that crying is good for him because it clears out the lungs. Ds was only 2 WEEKS old (not that this advice would be followed at age).

I had another one, but I forgot what it was


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## Aura_Kitten

Wildcrafter, i am cracking up reading your post. that sort of thing has happened to me and it's SO MADDENING when it happens but looking back, it always makes me laugh.

Annie ~ about the cloth diaper thing... my dad has always held out that cloth diapers are actually _worse_ for the environment than disposables because first, he believes that disposables really do biodegrade, and second, he thinks that in order to adequately clean cloth diapers one must first wash them in detergent, then wash them again in detergent with _chlorine_ bleach, both times using the hottest water possible, then dry them. he absolutely will not listen to any other way (and also isn't familiar with earth-friendly detergents). so he says that all those chemicals "needed" for cloth diapers pollute the water horribly, and that cloth diapers don't last all that long anyway, and that the detergents used won't biodegrade so you're doing more harm than good.

the last time he brought that up, i finally said, "there's still the issue of what they are manufactured with. disposables are manufactured using all kinds of horrible chemicals, so even if they do break down, the manufacturing process itself is horrible on the environment, not to mention that all those chemicals stay next to the baby's skin. and have you ever researched what's used in those super-absorbent gels that almost every diaper brand uses to soak up the wetness? even if the entire diaper biodegrades, the gel itself doesn't."

to which he responded curtly, "yeah well that's stuff is also in FEMININE products, like the PADS and TAMPONS that women use" (obviously very sure he had me on a point i couldn't argue with) ~

i answered him with, "yeah and that's why i use cloth on myself, too."

he was quiet for a few minutes and finally said, "oh. well i guess you have an argument there, then." and let the issue drop.

i'm still wondering where people get the idea that cloth is worse on the environment than disposables.


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## StarMama

Ok, I've got one... My MIL is CONSTANTLY telling me I *must* make sure ds crawls because otherwise he won't be able to read well. She (and Dh) have both heard its linked somehow. Which I'm sure, if it is, is because those two things are linked because good readers crawl well and not like if he's a crappy reader I can suddenly teach him to crawl and he'll start reading War and Peace the next day.

Also, how exactly am I supposed to make *sure* he crawls? Its not like I can MAKE him or anything. Yeah he gets floor time, and yeah I can put his toys away from him far enough to encourage, but if he decides to skip it and walk, well not much can be done there!


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## captain optimism

Quote:


Originally Posted by *StarMama*
Also, how exactly am I supposed to make *sure* he crawls? Its not like I can MAKE him or anything. Yeah he gets floor time, and yeah I can put his toys away from him far enough to encourage, but if he decides to skip it and walk, well not much can be done there!

Oh man, this was one of my mother's hobby-horses for quite awhile!

She also thinks that if I tell him what to say, that it will make him start talking sooner. For example, I allowed her to feed him when we last visited, because she enjoys it SOOOOO much, and ds doesn't seem to mind it. (They love each other.







) Then I hear her telling him, "Say, 'Mommy, I'm finished eating.'" I tried to tell her that this was not a great thing to do. I said, "Mom, he doesn't talk yet, and when he does, don't you think he'll be able to think of things to say without you prompting him? Does he need to memorize a phrase book in order to speak?"

My mom doesn't totally understand the idea that a child is a separate human being with his or her own needs and desires. Even when that child is 38 years old!


----------



## Angelfish

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DaryLLL*
Idiot: Are they identical? (looking at a boy and girl twin set)

Mom: No, one is a boy, one is a girl.

Idiot: Well, I can see that. Are they identical?

My baby sister and I got this sort of thing when we were little. People would ask us if we were twins. We would say, "We're two years apart." _Quite a few times_, someone actually said, "But are you twins?"

My parenting ones:
My son's biodad's best friend's mother (so no relation to me at all, and I didn't even like her before she started calling herself my son's "honourary" grandmother) told me that he, at *three weeks old*, needed to have rice cereal in his bottles to help him sleep through the night. So I told her he didn't have bottles, and I couldn't think of a way to get cereal into my breasts. She actually said I needed to wean him, because he had to have that cereal, and _her_ kids were bottle fed. Uuhhm...who the hell do you think you are, and why do you think I care?

My mother: "I'm going to buy you a crib and convince your husband to use it." Good luck, lady. She doesn't think we should cosleep, because I've always been such a light sleeper, and she thinks babies need their own space (because infants have major privacy issues, right?







). Fine, whatever, but the next time I hear about the crib we "need," I may actually scream.

When I was pregnant with my son, I gained 26 pounds. I would lose some, then gain some, and my midwives all said I wasn't gaining as much as they would like. I also carried right in front. With both of my kids, I didn't even look pregnant from behind. At nine months I still had a discernable waistline. One of my coworkers told a client (I was a hairdresser) that I "might look cute now, but in a couple of months, she'll be a piglet." She also told me she would give me a ride to my car (I hadn't asked, because I was parked only about 100 feet away), but she didn't think her shocks could handle it. She asked me every day if I hated getting fat. Every day I said, "I'm not fat, I'm pregnant."


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## tammylc

I'm bummed! Try as I might, I can't get anyone to say anything stupid to me. I took DS grocery shopping in the sling the other day, and the only comments I got were "What a great idea" (about the sling) and "What a cute baby." Sigh... that's what I get for living in a liberal town, I guess.

Although, come to think of it, my mother had some dumb things to say when I was pregnant. Of course, almost everything my mom says is dumb, so I didn't pay much attention. One that I remember is that she insisted that my heartburn meant that DS would have a lot of hair when he was born. This is a woman who totally doesn't understand the concept of an old wive's tale...


----------



## sunmountain

T tammy, you had your baby on my 8th wedding anniversary







T


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## roseselene

Quote:


Originally Posted by *StarMama*
Also, how exactly am I supposed to make *sure* he crawls? Its not like I can MAKE him or anything. Yeah he gets floor time, and yeah I can put his toys away from him far enough to encourage, but if he decides to skip it and walk, well not much can be done there!

I also got this from several people that we had to MAKE dd crawl. At one point in time to a coworker, I got so annoyed, I just said "how on earth do you MAKE a baby crawl??" and she said that it can be done, and i'm not allowing her to get frustrated byt carrying her all the time in the sling I'm ruining things for her and if I just put her down on the floor and let her get mad and cry a little, she would have the motivation to crawl







Whatever. Anyway, I guess all of them were wrong abou tthat because DD did eventually crawl when she wanted to, but I never had to put her on the floor and make her mad in order for her to crawl, she justed started wanting to be down.
But....people did like to tell me that she would be developmentally delayed because I wasn't allowing her to crawl.
Amy


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## dnr3301

Quote:


Originally Posted by *roseselene*
I also got this from several people that we had to MAKE dd crawl. At one point in time to a coworker, I got so annoyed, I just said "how on earth do you MAKE a baby crawl??" and she said that it can be done, and i'm not allowing her to get frustrated byt carrying her all the time in the sling I'm ruining things for her and if I just put her down on the floor and let her get mad and cry a little, she would have the motivation to crawl







Whatever. Anyway, I guess all of them were wrong abou tthat because DD did eventually crawl when she wanted to, but I never had to put her on the floor and make her mad in order for her to crawl, she justed started wanting to be down.
But....people did like to tell me that she would be developmentally delayed because I wasn't allowing her to crawl.
Amy

I keep hearing this one, although not from anyone IRL. Back before I was a parent, I taught kids to read in an elementary school. I went to more than one conference where I heard this, but it was more like, "...hard time learing to read, and guess what, those kids also skipped crawling..." in the middle of other research and kind of as an aside. My guess is that it's less, "MAKE THEM CRAWL!" than if they don't crawl, watch more closely for difficulty learning to read. I can't imagine that a kid who had issues learning to read wouldn't have them if only they had crawled. I'm sure there's more at work there. I'm not sure I'm being as clear here as I could in person, it's hard to convey tone and emphasis in writing. I guess I think kids will either crawl or not (regardless of pushing from others) and that if reading was going to be a problem for them, it will be a problem. If it were my kid and I bought into this theory (or others around me did), I would say, "let's see if he crawls on his own and if he does, we drop this line of inquiry. If he doesn't, I'll be sure to be extra vigilant watching for learning disabilites." And tell them that I'll use if he crawls or not as an indicator, not as a preventative measure.

MY "dumb comment" for the weekend: my MIL is convinced that ds has colic. This despite the fact that he hardly ever cries. He cries and I nurse him, or change his diaper, or whatever...90% of the time if he's crying, there is a good reason that I can figure out and I fix whatever the issue is. The solution to those times when I can't figure it out is not to give ds to my MIL and LET HER WALK AWAY WITH HIM!!! grrrr. So, anyway, ds is now about 3 months old and today we went to a parade with the ILs and FIL asked dh if ds was feeling better. Dh played dumb and said, when was he sick? And FIL went on about how colicky he had been and now he wasn't crying and aren't we glad he's not crying. Dh told him he never was colicky and gave him a definition of colic and said we could usually figure out what was wrong. They just will not let go of it. He cried one time at Easter for about 15 minutes (it was hot and there were a lot of people there and I spent a lot of those first few weeks nursing laying down and wasn't really good at it sitting up yet, despite having already nursed dd for 2 1/2 years) and they will not let it go. Every time they call, they ask about his "colic." Dh told them it's no longer ok to ask about it. Hopefully they pick up on that.


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## melixxa

Wow, this thread is still alive. I like that ... it stayed active long enough for me to add something!

I live in a pretty progressive area, where it's business as usual to see slings of every shape and size and meet people who homebirth and EBF, so dumb comments are essentially few and far between. But there's one thing I've gotten several times nevertheless. It's whenever my boy is wearing white or pretty pale colors, and it's happened more since I started using my pink-orange-blue-red-green-fuschia-turquoise-yellow striped Maya wrap (the fuschia's pretty dominant in there) more often: People will refer to him as "she," and once I correct them they will say, "Oh, I'm SO sorry!" as if mistaking him for a girl (at 10 months no less) were extremely offensive. I think it's weird because 1) it's a mistake anyone can make; we all make these mistakes on a daily basis - it's not like babies were born with "I'm a boy" branded on their foreheads, and 2) why should it be so offensive to be mistaken for a girl, as if that were a terrible insult to my baby's manhood?? I wonder if it's the same in the other direction - do people overapologize when they've mistaken a girl for a boy? Anyway, I think this is weird. Not the apology, of course, but the vehemence of it. It's funny how uncomfortable people become as a result of (even the least controversial) gender stuff.


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## sagira

I've heard quite my share of dumb things. Here are a few:

"If you hold him a lot he'll get used to it" (NOW I'm scared







)

Regarding circumcision:
"You didn't?? Did you know he'll get an infection when he gets older and they have to do it THEN? He won't be able to have an erection!" (oh PLEASE)

Regarding vaccinations:

From a relative whose daughter is 3 weeks old:
"I heard ds is not vaccinated. Could you keep him in another room so he won't breathe on my dd? She's so little.."
















I actually had a come-back to that last one -- I said, "You know, I was going to tell you as well for your dd to stay away from ds since she just had her Hep B vax a couple of weeks ago"


----------



## MelMel

Quote:


Originally Posted by *melixxa*
Wow, this thread is still alive. I like that ... it stayed active long enough for me to add something!

I live in a pretty progressive area, where it's business as usual to see slings of every shape and size and meet people who homebirth and EBF, so dumb comments are essentially few and far between. But there's one thing I've gotten several times nevertheless. It's whenever my boy is wearing white or pretty pale colors, and it's happened more since I started using my pink-orange-blue-red-green-fuschia-turquoise-yellow striped Maya wrap (the fuschia's pretty dominant in there) more often: People will refer to him as "she," and once I correct them they will say, "Oh, I'm SO sorry!" as if mistaking him for a girl (at 10 months no less) were extremely offensive. I think it's weird because 1) it's a mistake anyone can make; we all make these mistakes on a daily basis - it's not like babies were born with "I'm a boy" branded on their foreheads, and 2) why should it be so offensive to be mistaken for a girl, as if that were a terrible insult to my baby's manhood?? I wonder if it's the same in the other direction - do people overapologize when they've mistaken a girl for a boy? Anyway, I think this is weird. Not the apology, of course, but the vehemence of it. It's funny how uncomfortable people become as a result of (even the least controversial) gender stuff.


I get this too, even still as my dd is 20 month. sometimes i correct them, but usually I dont. if its just someone in line somewhere, I just continue whatever conversation, and if they happen to catch her name, or hear me say 'she' they freak out, apologizing over and over! like i care! I tell them it really doesnt matter till puberty anyway, so dont worry about it....they still go on and on 'well, she is wearing brown/blue/green/red/being/perwinkle/teal/tn/black/gray so I assumed' or 'i know, i'm sorry, mine didnt have long hair at that age either'
I know dozens of babies, some have short hair, some have long, some are girls and some are boys. it isnt a gender thing (the hair gowth)

people are so caught up on gender...doesnt make sense at such a young age


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## beaconlighthero

:


----------



## mamacarla

I had to give birth in a hospital because ds was 6 wks early -- even though he was totally fine their policy was for him to be in a special care nursery for a minimum of 12 hours -- I said fine but he would be in my arms the whole time -- we arrived at the door to the nursery and a nurse came out with outstretched arms and said are you here to make a drop off? he was only 3 hrs old! I don't think they liked having me sit there holding my baby b/c half hour later they decided ds was well enough to go into a room with me

a couple of days later we needed to enter the nursery again to go on bili-lites and I was sitting there next to ds staring at my huge fluid filled feet and said to dh, look at my feet, why did they do that (meaning why did they pump so much uneccessary saline into my body) The stupid nurse said -- The body sees childbirth as an unnatural attack on it's system and holds that fluid b/c of that????????


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## littleteapot

I love that this thread is still alive! I started reading it when I was pregnant, and my DD turns one in just a few days.









I have some more to add.
I have recently moved from a VERY crunchy area to a very rednecky area. In nine months I've seen one other person baby-wearing. Just one! And it was a dad! (not that it's a bad thing, of course - just surprising!)

Comments I've had about my sling/wrap/trekker:
In all kinds of weather: "She must be burning up in there", "She looks so cold, can't you put a blanket on her?"
Or, "She's so squashed, she must be in pain!" - right, that's why she's sleeping so soudly, she's in shock!









I've also had a handful of people walk up and say "my baby could never be in one of those" before they even say hello. As if I _needed_ to know.

I didn't get any comments, but I sure got some royally nasty looks and some serious scoffing when I NIP'd my 11 month old just after she won a crawling contest in her age category. I sat down in the front row of seats that the entire stands were facing, in front of 120+ people and nursed. *Scandalous!*







You'd think I did a striptease by the way some people were staring.
I was there for 45 minutes, and I saw every baby in all the categories eat. Every last one had a bottle. I was literally the only breastfeeding mom out of nearly a hundred.


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## StarMama

Oh, oh, overall dumb comment from MIL!! "You take such good care of him Lisa!" (no, this wasn't sarcastic at all. It was actually said very very lovingly, almost with a tear in her eye.)

Ok, before you think I'm crazy as to why that would be a *dumb* comment, its all context. She's always saying "let him CIO to sleep, or he'll never sleep!" (she's always harping on this point), "**WHY** are you giving him that motrin?!?!?!?!" (like its crack or something), "He needs water Lisa, look how thirsty he is!!" (ummm maybe thats cuz its lemonade you're giving him and he just enjoys the *sweetness*??), ect, ect.

I mean really, if I take such good care of him, why do I need to be told all these other things I just NEED to do?? (I can get sharing her parenting knowledge, but telling me like there-is-no-other-way?)


----------



## Melissa S

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamacarla*
The stupid nurse said -- The body sees childbirth as an unnatural attack on it's system and holds that fluid b/c of that????????









:


----------



## stafl

T

Quote:


Originally Posted by *littleteapot*
I have recently moved from a VERY crunchy area to a very rednecky area.

this strikes me as a bit offensive. Perhaps your definition of ******* is totally different than mine (blue-collar, a little rough around the edges), but I don't see how social standing has anything to do with parenting styles.








Stacy,
Tennessee ******* and proud of it!


----------



## roseselene

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamacarla*

a couple of days later we needed to enter the nursery again to go on bili-lites and I was sitting there next to ds staring at my huge fluid filled feet and said to dh, look at my feet, why did they do that (meaning why did they pump so much uneccessary saline into my body) The stupid nurse said -- The body sees childbirth as an unnatural attack on it's system and holds that fluid b/c of that????????

Ya know? I'm going to have to take a little offense to this quote. I've seen a lot of this on MDC and I guess I have to bite my tongue. But the "stupid nurse" just really infuriates me. I am one of those "stupid nurses" who works in the hospital AND I work in obstetrics. While I'm not thrilled with everything that goes on there, and I'm currently pregnant, and I plan to deliver at a birth center instead of where I work, I do not consider myself, my coworkers or all the other nurses in the hospital on other units "Stupid". Ok....the comment that that particular nurse made to you was kind of silly...but your comment about why did they do that to you was also in error. Women have 50-75% more blood volume during pregnancy and when we are no longer pregnant, our body needs to get rid of that fluid. In a perfect world, your kidneys would filter it out right away and you would pee tons the first day or so after delivery. Sometimes, it doesn't work out so nicely and women get swollen feet, hands, face, etc.. for a few days. I've seen this phenomenon happen to women who didn't receive very much IV fluid as well as those who did...so this was not DONE to you.
I'm sorry, I was a tad offended by that post and I had to reply.
Amy


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## mamacarla

Sorry Amy -- I could have worded it differently -- I do not think nurses are stupid -- I had to sit with this one from like midnight to 7 am though and she did many offensive and probably stupid things -- the way she talked about the mothers/parents while I was sitting there was awful -- "oH that mother wants her baby " rolling her eyes constantly -- I watched her formula feed a baby when there were orders to bf only -- when another nurse asked her she said oh well -- I could go on and on but I don't want all the neg. coming out right now -- nak

I apologize for the offense --
carla


----------



## April 2007

I take care of another woman's baby. She is pumping so he gets expressed milk (yay!).

However, every now and then when she brings him over, she makes a comment that really baffles me:

"Before we left he spit up a lot, so I know he's full and won't need to eat for a while."

huh??









I'm always thinking, "no...before you left he was full to the brim so he puked it all up. Now he might have a tummy ache, and will need to nurse within the next 20 minutes!" lol


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## Bethla

My husband was walking down the street to a local coffeeshop carrying our baby. This old lady drove by and YELLED out her car window, "Put some shoes on that kid!"


----------



## super duper

when i was pg and talking about how i could deliver early or late, and i was actually agonizing over going terribly post date, my mil told me "its your first baby. youll be late." with this smug all-knowing look and a nod of her head, reassuring herself that she was correct. so apparently just because she was 3 weeks overdue with my husband, apparently *all* first time babies are "late".









my husband told me that our (then) 4 month old was manipulating me by crying after i put her in the crib and i was making her obese by bfing her whenever she was hungry (apparently i am supposed to starve her??? i dunno what my options are there.)







methinks he had been speaking with his dear mother. i "explained" things to him and he hasnt said anything about it since then.

(for the record i was only 2 days late when i went into labor so mil cant really say she was right, though she probably will anyway. im visiting her in 2 weeks and im sure ill come back with a bunch more stories.)


----------



## roseselene

That's ok....maybe I took it out on you, so I'm sorry for that. I've read several "stupid nurse" posts recently on MDC and while I understand the desire to avoid alot of mainstream medicine...comments like that irritate me. So...anyway...thanks for replying back about it.
no hard feelings
Amy


----------



## littleteapot

Quote:


Originally Posted by *stafl*







T
this strikes me as a bit offensive. Perhaps your definition of ******* is totally different than mine (blue-collar, a little rough around the edges), but I don't see how social standing has anything to do with parenting styles.








Stacy,
Tennessee ******* and proud of it!

I'm sorry! I didn't mean to offend. Yes, over here the definition of "*******" is different (I'm in Northwest Canada). Rednecky like... hmm, how to explain. Very conservative, bible-belt, anti-natural, anti-organic... it's kind of a general term, like "crunchy" :LOL hard to explain it! I lived in a very pro-organic area where everyone practiced AP/natural style parenting, in this kind of area, NO ONE DOES.


----------



## Aura_Kitten

T

Quote:

Very conservative, bible-belt, anti-natural, anti-organic... it's kind of a general term, like "crunchy"
:LOL that's what it's like here too, although it's very mixed in w/ the jeff foxworthy sort of *******...


----------



## USAmma

My dh is from India, has dark skin, and I'm light skinned. My dds (esp #1) turned out somewhere in between with skin, but dd#1 has very dark hair (dd#1 is still somewhat bald lol!) and both have very big dark, almost black eyes. I have light hair and green eyes.

So, some of the comments we've had:

* Are you the au pair, or is she yours?
* Is your husband from Mexico?
* Is she adopted?

To which I came up with the perfect answer after one too many of these comments: I say, "Well I craved chocolate when I was pg and I guess I ate too much because this is how they turned out." That usually shuts them up.

My baby has a feeding tube in her nose that's taped to the side of her face. I get comments like:

* What's wrong with her? (to which I reply "She's perfectly fine, why do you ask?")
* Did someone bite her on the face?!
* Wish I had an eating problem, maybe I could lose some of these extra pounds!

Darshani


----------



## Aura_Kitten

your daughters are beautiful Darshani.


----------



## Greg&Jen

My ds is 4 weeks old on Monday and I can't believe it! None the less, I've recently had my father in law come out to visit. His favorite past time is to "bait" people into arguments. He also has way too many opinions about parenthood and I can say I do not agree with him much at all. Today he said to me "All you need to get him sleeping through the night is a pair of ear plugs". My response was that I didn't believe in doing that and that I had an article (well many) on why it wasn't a good idea. At first I was trying to be gentle and remind him who is the mother and that it is my choice in how I want to parent. He went on to say "Well my family turned out fine"... I got up and left the room. I'm a psychologist and seriously don't want to discuss his "fine family".
I personally have always disliked the way people talk to pregnant and new parents as if they are stupid or something. It's soooo unsupportive and just makes parenthood that much more difficult. I used to feel so bad for my sister and sil when they had their children and everyone had an opinion on their parenting. Anyway, right now it makes me want to isolate some more and get to feeling good and confident about things.
Thanks for "listening".
Jennifer,







: to Gryphon born 7/5/04, married to Greg an incredible diapering dad







:


----------



## Melissa S

Quote:


Originally Posted by *littleteapot*
I'm sorry! I didn't mean to offend. Yes, over here the definition of "*******" is different (I'm in Northwest Canada). Rednecky like... hmm, how to explain. Very conservative, bible-belt, anti-natural, anti-organic... it's kind of a general term, like "crunchy" :LOL hard to explain it! I lived in a very pro-organic area where everyone practiced AP/natural style parenting, in this kind of area, NO ONE DOES.

I'm from Canada too. I think most of us have no experience with actual ******** so the picture conjured up is discriminatory. When I think of ******* the way it's used here in my province we would be describing a potbellied uneducated barefooted roadkill eating shotgun wielding hillbilly.

Aweful, I know.


----------



## super duper

Quote:


Originally Posted by *USAmma*
I say, "Well I craved chocolate when I was pg and I guess I ate too much because this is how they turned out." That usually shuts them up.

:LOL
darshani, this had me seriously laughing out loud. what a great reply!!!


----------



## SeanaRain

:


----------



## lynsage

my kid's not even here yet and i've already got some good ones:

very early in my pregnancy , i confided in my best friend when that i was in a weird state of shock/denial at times, which i later found out is perfectly normal for the first month or so after you find out you're pg.

she replied by warning me to be "happy and optimistic, but cautiously optimistic" since "so many things can happen this early on", and said that my feelings were probably "an intuitive knowledge not to get overly excited about the baby just in case". well thanks, supportive best friend (who by the way has NEVER BEEN PREGNANT).

then i had some light spotting a few months in (nothing major), and both my midwife and my bf's dad (who is an MD) said it was nothing to worry about unless it got heavier or was accompanied by cramps or fever. my mom _flipped out_ and said "no, you have to go to the emergency room right now! if you're having a miscarriage they can give you a shot to stop it!"

some other gems from my mom:

in response to my saying that there was zero chance of me sending my newborn child to stay with her in michigan for weeks at a time: "so i'll never get to just have the baby without you there telling me how to raise it?"

no, mom, because it's NOT YOUR BABY.

in response to my saying that i did not want the wind-up swing her neighbors were selling at their garage sale, since we don't need a swing because the baby will be in the sling most of the time: "you really need to stop being so unrealistic. i know you're irrational because you're just so hormonal right now but you have to realize that you're not going to be able to hold the baby all the time. you need a swing so you can put the baby somewhere while you take a shower!"

in response to my saying that i did not want her at my home birth, but that we would call her as soon as the baby was born: "QUIT HOGGING THE BABY!"

in response to my mentioning that i had been doing laundry: "before you do that again, you need to get on the internet and find a month-by-month chart of how much weight it is safe for a pregnant woman to lift."

she also told me not to raise my arms above my head. my grandmother (her mother) happened to be there and told her to stop being silly! grandma is also the one who intervened on my behalf about cosleeping, etc. and told my mom that as long as my baby is healthy and happy, she should keep her opinions about how i plan to parent to herself. GO GRANDMA!

then, my bf's mom was over here the other day and asked me where i planned to deliver (she knows full well we're having a home birth with a midwife, my bf told her over a month ago!). when i said "here, at home", she said, "so, the midwife will come here?"









what does she think, the midwife is going to talk me through it via satellite?


----------



## Greg&Jen

LYNSAGE - You had me LOL with the comments your mother made! I swear I could hear my mother saying some of those things... just completely oblivious that this is our turn to be the parents.







Keep smiling and good luck with your pregnancy and birth!


----------



## mamacarla

I wanted to know the sex of my baby early-- Just couldn't wait

Of course everyone asks

Them: Are you going to find out the sex
Me: I am having a boy
Them: Didn't you want to be surprised?
Me: I was very surprised!


----------



## Xenogenesis

When I told my mother almost seven years ago that I was expecting:

"WHAT! Are You Stoopid!"

Needless to say I wasn't in a hurry to tell her about my last born son three years after that (to which my older sister replied - after I tried to explain that I wanted children - "Oh, Well."







)


----------



## 3 Little Monkeys

Quote:


Originally Posted by *USAmma*
To which I came up with the perfect answer after one too many of these comments: I say, "Well I craved chocolate when I was pg and I guess I ate too much because this is how they turned out." That usually shuts them up.

My baby has a feeding tube in her nose that's taped to the side of her face. I get comments like:

* What's wrong with her? (to which I reply "She's perfectly fine, why do you ask?")
* Did someone bite her on the face?!
* Wish I had an eating problem, maybe I could lose some of these extra pounds!

Darshani

Darshani~ I wish I could come up with comments as great as these! The chocolate one is great - I need a reverse one because dh is hispanic and I'm about as white as white can be. Our girls have very light skin so people are always asking if dh is the father - it really bothers him, quite understandably.

Your girls are precious btw.


----------



## Mamm2

MIL: He is so faaaaaaaat!!!
ME: The doctor said he is fine and besides I breastfeed, so overfeeding is not a problem.

As I was getting reading to feed him.
MIL: You going to feed him again? (I last fed him approx 3 hrs ago)
ME: I feed him when he is hungry and that is approx 3 hrs.

2weeks later.
MIL: He looks fatter then he did two weeks ago!!























Well I guess I should start him on the South Beach Diet...


----------



## littleteapot

All this talk about strangers questioning paternity makes me so cheesed! (I mean that people would question, not that you guys are talking about it!)

My DD has bright red hair that I _absolutely love_







. DH has dark brown hair, and I naturally have black hair (but keep it red. ATM it's reddy brown).
BUT... DH's dad has bright red hair, and so does my mother (and their parents, and their parents, etc). It's recessive (or an incomplete dominant) and it wasn't surprising that we had a baby born with fiery locs. It does seem to be surprising to everyone else though.







:

I can't tell you how many times we've had people approach and say things like, "Oh, what beautiful red hair!" - they look at DH - "So... where _did_ she get that from?"








My answer is always, "My mother and his father", but I'm getting so sick of that question (or rather, the _unasked_ question!) that I almost WANT to say something snarky.


----------



## bu's mama

Did I really just spend 2 1/2 days reading this whole thread?!

I can't believe the things people say. I don't know if most of these people even think before the words come out of their mouths.

I've heard some of the comments so I've nothing new to add & also wanted to keep this thread alive.


----------



## obnurse

Quote:

Ya know? I'm going to have to take a little offense to this quote. I've seen a lot of this on MDC and I guess I have to bite my tongue. But the "stupid nurse" just really infuriates me. I am one of those "stupid nurses" who works in the hospital AND I work in obstetrics. While I'm not thrilled with everything that goes on there, and I'm currently pregnant, and I plan to deliver at a birth center instead of where I work, I do not consider myself, my coworkers or all the other nurses in the hospital on other units "Stupid". Ok....the comment that that particular nurse made to you was kind of silly...but your comment about why did they do that to you was also in error. Women have 50-75% more blood volume during pregnancy and when we are no longer pregnant, our body needs to get rid of that fluid. In a perfect world, your kidneys would filter it out right away and you would pee tons the first day or so after delivery. Sometimes, it doesn't work out so nicely and women get swollen feet, hands, face, etc.. for a few days. I've seen this phenomenon happen to women who didn't receive very much IV fluid as well as those who did...so this was not DONE to you.
Amen Sister! I feel the same way. I am not stupid at all, and my co workers are not either. You are infact COMPLETELY correct about the fluid. I think some people should be a little more sensitive about bashing others. I also deal with 'stupid' people in my life, but one person's offhand comment does not make an entire population stupid!!


----------



## Victorian

I understand that you are offended, but this mama did not call you stupid. She said the nurse that did something stupid was acting like a stupid nurse (and I agree).

As to the comments that you have heard all over the board, maybe it is because this is a natural family board and a lot of what is done by nurses is not natural familly friendly. Although you may have your feelings hurt, I think that the comments that you find offensive come from a place of hurt and mistrust of a medical community that does not honor the feelings and intellegence of a lot of people here.

Regardless of the *rightness* of the nurses, they need to learn to honor the wisdom, questions and rights to have those questions answered of their clients. This is obviously not directed at anyone here, but as a general comment on some of the nurses that I have encountered.

Here is a great website of nurses that are working to make childbirth a more mother friendly event in the hospitals. Wonderful group! www.anacs.org/

OBnurse - if you haven't heard of this group, I think that you would fit right in!

Victorian


----------



## USAmma

Quote:


Originally Posted by *3 Little Monkeys*
Darshani~ I wish I could come up with comments as great as these! The chocolate one is great - I need a reverse one because dh is hispanic and I'm about as white as white can be. Our girls have very light skin so people are always asking if dh is the father - it really bothers him, quite understandably.

Your girls are precious btw.

Thanks!







I just put a new photo there of the whole family in my link. Not the greatest, it's hard to get everyone looking their best in a group photo.

Anway, maybe you could say you ate a lot of white chocolate or something. ?? Or maybe that your dh is addicted to tanning booths but he's really Swedish. :LOL

I think dd#2 is going to look more like me, she's got my thin brown hair (poor thing), it's funny how the genes turn out isn't it?

Darshani


----------



## USAmma

Okay I have one more, this one is from dh, who's very shy about displaying affection in public. It's his conservative Indian upbringing.

When I was pg with dd#1 I asked him once, when I was like 20 weeks along, if he'd told his co-workers about the pg yet. He said no. I asked why not? He said, "Because then they'd know what we've been doing."









Darshani


----------



## pumpkinhead

littleteapot,

I hear ya! I'm a redhead and dh is of French decent and is very darkly complected and has dark black hair. Ds is very pale (like me) and is blonde. I'm getting a little weary of the 'where'd he get the blonde hair from?" Well, gee, I dunno, musta been the mail man or something.

I'm not sure if I've posted this here yet, but there's this lady who was in my prenatal class who I keeping seeing around. It's usually in malls and the flourescent lights always make my eyes look redrimmed (I'm quite fair, as is ds). They have the exact same affect on ds and she keeps asking me why he looks so sickly. 'Are you sure he's not sick? He's so pale and skinny!'. I've taken to hiding whenever I see her so I won't have to talk to her. Blah. So not like me at ALL!.


----------



## pumpkinhead

Quote:


Originally Posted by *USAmma*
Okay I have one more, this one is from dh, who's very shy about displaying affection in public. It's his conservative Indian upbringing.

When I was pg with dd#1 I asked him once, when I was like 20 weeks along, if he'd told his co-workers about the pg yet. He said no. I asked why not? He said, "Because then they'd know what we've been doing."









Darshani











This reminds me soooooo much of my dad! When I was pg w/ ds, he would never say the words 'My daughter is PREGNANT'. Instead he's say 'She's in the family way' or 'she's with child' DROVE ME NUTS! I asked my mother about it once and she said that saying I was pregnant would be actually admitting to the fact that his daughter had had the dreaded S.E.X.







All you have to do is LOOK at a pregnant woman and it's pretty clear she's NOT a virgin







. Poor Daddy :LOL


----------



## pumpkinhead

Quote:


Originally Posted by *obnurse*
I also deal with 'stupid' people in my life, but one person's offhand comment does not make an entire population stupid!!


I agree with you, obnurse, but I don't think the lady who originally posted this referred to *ALL* nurses are being stupid. Just the one who gave her bad advice and/or said something innacurate. Nurses are people too and there are some pretty stupid people out there...I don't think anyone here has said that the two are mutually exclusive tho







.

FWIW, I had some pretty AMAZING L&D nurses and I had a couple who were obviously misinformed and innacurate in their opinions and information. It takes all kinds!


----------



## azyre

Quote:


Originally Posted by *USAmma*
Okay I have one more, this one is from dh, who's very shy about displaying affection in public. It's his conservative Indian upbringing.

When I was pg with dd#1 I asked him once, when I was like 20 weeks along, if he'd told his co-workers about the pg yet. He said no. I asked why not? He said, "Because then they'd know what we've been doing."









Darshani

Oh that is so cute!!!


----------



## USAmma

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pumpkinhead*









This reminds me soooooo much of my dad! When I was pg w/ ds, he would never say the words 'My daughter is PREGNANT'. Instead he's say 'She's in the family way' or 'she's with child' DROVE ME NUTS! I asked my mother about it once and she said that saying I was pregnant would be actually admitting to the fact that his daughter had had the dreaded S.E.X.







All you have to do is LOOK at a pregnant woman and it's pretty clear she's NOT a virgin







. Poor Daddy :LOL

In India it's very rude to say "pregnant" or even "expecting." The most you'll get is "in the family way." I saw a billboard once that said, "Issueless? We can help." and a number. I asked what in the world that meant apparently that's very polite way of saying "Infertile." In my dh's Tamil language they don't even have a word for pg, what they say translates to "it is there."

Of course then there were signs *everywhere* hanging in all the shops that said, STD and I was like, what the heck is that? Standard Trunk Dialing (long distance calling service for people who don't own phones). I was just thinking wow, they have a big problem with STD's in India, no shortage of places to get it treated!

Darshani

P.S. You all need to stop posting so much so I can catch up. This thread is great!


----------



## cholderby

My dear, sweet mother, who is actually quite supportive kept asking me when I was going to see an Obstetrician. I replied, on several occasions, that I was seeing a CNM. My mom normally sees a Nurse Practitioner instead of a doctor and she gave birth in the 70's (which I just assume means that she's been exposed to all this crunchy stuff







) but she just couldn't get it through her head that I would not be seeing an Obstetrician.
We're all good now, but it was kind of like a Who's on First routine for a while there.


----------



## nova22

Some of these are making me laugh so hard. I can't believe the misconceptions people have.

I have two dumb comments, one of which is really MEAN, and both are from my teenaged sister.

The subject of cosleeping came up:

Sister: Don't you ever roll over on the babies?

Me: No, it's easy not to roll over on them. I mean, you don't roll out of bed, right?

Sister: Yeah, I roll out at least once a week.

LOL...there goes that comeback.









Now for the VERY MEAN one.

I conceived twins with my first pregnancy, but I lost one of the twins early on. I didn't want to tell a lot of people but decided to confide in my sister, because we were just starting to get really close. I told her about "vanishing twin syndrome" and mentioned that one twin might "absorb" the other, for lack of better words, and later in life the surviving twin may have bits of tissue from the late twin. She STARTED TO LAUGH and said, "Will it be, like, a mole? Can you have it removed and put it in a jar? Then you'd have a jar baby! That would be so cool!" My jaw dropped. I was on the phone and told her I had to go and I started bawling. What a thing to say!


----------



## OwensMa

OMGoodness, that is so insensitive. Leave it to teenagers to say the worst possible thing.







:


----------



## anudi01

This thread made my day...

When I was pregnant and working, a co-worker (who I actually do like) said to me about my going to LLL meetings,

"You better watch them, they'll have you BF'ing your baby until they are like 3 or 4."

I say, "And?"

What I wish I would have said was,

"Oh, I better not go to those meetings anymore, b/c I plan to BF my baby until they are at least 5 or 6.


----------



## guestmama9915

My DD's greatgrandparents were over a couple weeks ago and her greatgrandpa stood her up (she's 6 months old and loves to stand up!). Her greatgrandma snatched her away and said, "Oh no! Don't stand her up or she'll become bow legged."









I'm sure I have others, all sides of the family love to give "advice", but I can't think of anything in paticular right now!


----------



## April 2007

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Keja*
"Oh no! Don't stand her up or she'll become bow legged."

Yes...heard this one before! Only it was our former pediatrician who said it! He was checking Noah for one of his well baby visits (when we used to go to those, lol) and when I went to put Noah on the table/bed, he started standing up as I was holding him. The doctor started scolding me like I had no idea how to take care of a child and was telling me not to allow him to do that because he'd become bowlegged. Rrrrrright...so what was I supposed to do when he started doing that...never hold him upright? oi vei


----------



## shishkeberry

Wow. I can't believe I spent all morning reading this thread! :LOL

I guess I'm lucky that no one has said anything stupid to me.


----------



## Parthenia

My nutty cousin who is in his 40's called me on the phone after seeing me at a famiy reunion:

"Boy that Baby Bea is something else [she's very spirited]. Don't forget, sometimes you just have to whoop them to get 'em to listen to you. A good ass whoopin' never hurt anyone. It's good for them. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."







:
He's such a nut I just said thanks see you later, dd's calling, gotta go, see you at the next reunion [and stay away from my child!].
DH and I got a sick chuckle from that one. His insistence on whooping our child was just bizarre.


----------



## Victorian

Hey shishkeberry - why don't you wean that baby - if their old enough to suck on their hands there old enough for a bottle (and don't forget to put cereal in it to help him sleep!)! Oh, and if you don't get that baby out of your bed, he'll sleep with you until he's married.

(just didn't want you to feel left out) - Welcome BTW to MDC.

Victorian


----------



## shishkeberry

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Victorian*
Hey shishkeberry - why don't you wean that baby - if their old enough to suck on their hands there old enough for a bottle (and don't forget to put cereal in it to help him sleep!)! Oh, and if you don't get that baby out of your bed, he'll sleep with you until he's married.

(just didn't want you to feel left out) - Welcome BTW to MDC.

Victorian









Thanks for the welcome.

Actually, now that I think about it someone did tell me to put cereal in his bottle but he dropped it as soon as I told him I was nursing.


----------



## Justice2

Oh, I had yet another one the other day! My downstairs neighbor told me that she didn't nurse her 8 month old because "I didn't want a person hanging off of me all day"...people amaze me.


----------



## sandsprite

I got the "just let him (my 3 month old ds) cry it out." cuz "it's okay"

yes that is the reason... just cuz.

my thought was that's just STUPID... but it was my mom's friend, and she is older, and I was taught to talk to elders with respect.

so I just said "no??!!!!??" and took him back.

whenever anyone says I am spoiling him by not letting him cry or slinging him everywhere I have a few comebacks depending on my mood.
1) you can't spoil a baby!!!
2) yes, spoiling him rotten with love and snuggles!!!!
3) I know, you're right, he should be ironing his own cloths by now and demanding to leave home by now, but what can i say, its just so much fun to snuggle him.
4) If god did not want us to snuggle babies, she would not make them lap size!!!a perfect fit for mamma's arms!!!! so much fun to snuggle!!!!

heres another one
5) Well I have been trying like crazy to spoil him. I don't let him cry, I sling him everywhere, I feed him and hug him and kiss him all the time but smell.... still smells unspoiled.


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## Patchfire

omg, I can't believe how long I've been reading this thread!









When dd was a baby, we went to visit MIL. My parents drove us over (we live in a different town than all the relatives & were staying with my parents that weekend). We took dd in in her car seat-carrier thing (last ditch line of defence against MIL holding her). After we'd been there about an hour, MIL asked if we could go to the mall. Now, she didn't realise that the car seat *could* be used as a car seat even without the snap-in base. She just wanted us to set the carrier part in the back seat of her car. Yes, MIL, let's do make her a projectile?

We told my grandmother & aunt last weekend that we were going to have a homebirth... my grandmother's first question was, "well, who's going to deliver it, [dh] or your mom?" Oy. No one, I am? Neighbor asked yesterday "Does that mean [dh] is going to catch?" Is it so foreign to think that I don't need someone to *deliver* me, or that I might catch my OWN child?


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## OneCatholicMommy

All right, the dumbest thing I heard was the comment "Most women don't have enough milk!" Um, yes, SOME women don't have enough milk. I have two different friends...one with a hormonal problem and one that had breast surgery...who cannot produce enough milk and had to supplement or switch to formula. But MOST women? Um, no.


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## mandalamama

*singing* this is the thread that never ends ... :LOL

just when i'd been reading this long thread and telling my husband "thank goodness your mom is so mellow" guess who called? his mom ... who went straight into asking when they're going to induce me







: didn't ask how i'm feeling, how's the baby doing. bleh! at least i know she was already very mellow with her daughter about BFing, co-sleeping, etc. but then again a daughter-in-law is different, so i'm taking mental notes of all the great comebacks









peace,
meli


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## sandsprite

the question I just don't get is "so what's your schedule like?" or the general topic of this is how you get on a proper schedule... you must do this you must keep baby awake a little longer so he sleeps longer later

I actually tried that once, and what a bad day we had, He was tired and cranky for the rest of the day

so now when someone asks what our schedule is I just say,
"we sleep when we are tired, play when we are awake and eat when we are hungry"

I remember once I said "schedule??? every time I think I have the schedule figured out he goes and changes it... you want to know the schedule you are asking the wrong person.... ask the little one."


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## sandsprite

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kanga Mom*
3. There isn't anything remotely funny about this one. We have a severely disabled child. She is profoundly retarded, doesn't speak, can't run, is 16 and still in diapers at night (but toilet trained in the day, woo-hoo!)- she is also very affectionate, loving, full of hugs, warm smiles, and loves to tease.

And I have actually had somebody who just met us say, "It's too bad you didn't know she was handicapped before she was born. YOu could have aborted."

"

my best comeback for this one
"_too bad your mother didn't know you were going to grow up into a jacka$$ before you were born, she could have just aborted you and saved the rest of us from having to put up with you!"_


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## sandsprite

okay, thought of a few more stupid comments...

when I was pregnant and doing a little grocery shopping, I picked up a 4 liter jug of milk and I had this women come raceing up to me and tell me I shouldn't be lifting it cuz its way to heavy.... I told her I am a nurse and I haul around 300 pound patients for 12 hour shifts... I think I can handle 4 liters.
to which she insisted I shouldn't be picking up the jug....

this one coworker (no kids) side "ohg, you cant have chocolate (when I was pregnant at work and there was chocolate at the nurses station" but not 20 minutes later when I was telling her how were were planning to go on a wine tour before I got pregnant, so it will have to be postponed for a while and she said..."you can have a glass of wine with dinner" okay no chocolate but wine is okay. _*I didn't know fetal chocolate syndrome was worse than fetal alcohol syndrome.*_

When I was in hospital, (was a busy day at the inn) I had a roomate that just complained non-stop and her family helped. I thought we had great nurses..... roomed in with the babe, even didn't bat an eye when DS was always in my bed and the basinet I used as a laundry basket. great help breastfeeding (very pro-breastfeeding) got to chart our progress, etc. anyways dumb think I heard this lady tell my roomate "now don't let these nurses force you to breastfeed your baby" yeah don't let them force you do something good for you and your baby......like they strap you down and attach the babe to your boob.... all they did is educate you and ask why you are choosing formula before they let you have it.

oh and this was a cute one.... sometimes my DH does not think everything though...
we had been talking about this road trip next week (friend's wedding) and we are going to spend the night in Pemberton... so after talking over getting the car checked, and the hotel booked he says "so are we taking the baby???"
well *"unless you can figure out how to unscrew the boobs .... yes







 "*


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## Ms. Frizzle

A twit on another board said that co -sleeping is abuse. Abuse! This same person has a email support group for CIO. She is so mixed up.

In real life people know how I am, so they don't bother to waste time telling me dumb stuff that I wont listen too, lol


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## mommycaroline

These are hilarious! I could spend hours reading them all. Literally. 17 pages and going strong!

So, my dumb quote happened at the grocery store. I was walking with my newborn son in a sling. He was all snugged up to me, sweet as could be, sleeping soundly, when this woman walked up and very casually said "Are you smothering your baby?"







As though she was asking "do you think this watermelon is ripe?"









My response? "Yes, that's exactly what I'm doing. I'm smothering him right here in the middle of the grocery store for all the world to see."

WTF??? What would possess a person to ask such a freaky question? My DH thinks there must have been something not altogether there in her head. I'm guessing he is right.


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## atomicmama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PumpkinSeeds*
My MIL said that by nursing my ds I was going to turn him into a homosexual.









!! I would think that the "misinformed" would feel just the opposite!!







:


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## I Love My Boy

Oh the ignorance. It's boggling!

I have had so many comments, nearly all from my inlaws, but these are the ones that really stick out:

1. FIL: "You change that kid's diaper WAY TOO OFTEN! Change it once every three hours, whether he needs it or not!" Ds was 4 months old at the time and I put him in a diaper when we went out.

-- He still doesn't know that we were EC'ing and from that day on I let ds pee in his bathroom sink without rinsing. HA!









2. FIL's wife: "You are letting him SLEEP with you???!!!!! He's going to have serious psychological problems. He'll be confused about his identity!!"

-- me: "You sleep with (FIL), are you confused about YOUR identity??"

3. FIL: "Women who breastfeed their kids longer than a year have mental problems."

-- HA! again. Ds is turning three in two days and just weaned almost a month ago now. My inlaws love me, and they continue to be amazed by how bright and well behaved ds is.

4. -- me: "So... you're saying that I'm _harming_ ds by breastfeeding him at night?" Trying sooo hard to understand what my passive aggressive MIL was trying to convey to me.

MIL: "Yes."

5. MIL: when told by dh that we were cosleeping. After a period of silence during which her mouth hung open, "no..no..no..no..no.......no..no..no..."







LOL! I wish I had been there for that one!


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## SillyMommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MamaInTheBoonies*
"Is she a good baby?"
Uhmmm...No, she's downright evil! She's horrendus! She even says the F-word!!! can you believe it?!?! And twice I have caught men in her bed!!!!!!! My baby is so naughty!!

This sounds just like me!! That question baffles me.. are there really any BAD babies? Sheesh.

My aunt asked me how long I was going to nurse Ryland and I told her it depends on where he goes to college.


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## I Love My Boy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommycaroline*

My response? "Yes, that's exactly what I'm doing. I'm smothering him right here in the middle of the grocery store for all the world to see."

That's _INSANE_. It reminds me of something that made me laugh though. I was in an upscale baby store and an eldery man, probably a grandpa, was looking for a small child's pillow. He found one and, walking past me, held the pillow out in front of him horizontally and muttered, "That should just fit over his face..." I know he was just trying to shock somebody in a store like that but he didn't count on my wicked sense of humor.


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## boingo82

Well so far I am only to page 16..but had to add some..

1. When I was 6 months pg, the bagger at Albertsons said, "OH! I bet you're due any day now!" I said, "Uh..any day in APRIL." (I gained 60lbs total so probably DID look big - but that doesn't make it any less rude. But I have lost 55 already! Woot woot!!)

2. You want to go natural, huh? YOU JUST WAIT!
(And I delivered a 9.5 lb boy naturally BY MYSELF, imagine that!)

3. (8mo's preg, worrysome me): I am just a little worried about the cord, I do not know how long it takes to fall off and everything.
(Male coworker, father of 2 boys): Oh, I KNOW! It is so disgusting, I refused to even touch either of my kids until the cord fell off and the circ healed!
(Me) *gigantic involuntary cringe with simultaneous loss of all respect for this coworker*

4. I am still getting the "He's not sleeping through the night yet is he?" from my coworkers, but that is b/c they have babies w/in a month of the same age and want to make sure I'm suffering too.


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## Debbiemom

I don't post much or even read much but I want to add my list:

This one's not bad, just amusing:
From a friend during a conversation about my upcoming homebirth: "So...the midwives will just bring along portable stirrups for your bed?"

From a nurse in the pediatric ward every time she saw me nursing my very ill 2 week old baby: "You need to put up this divider when you're doing THAT." (The tone of her voice was if I were picking my nose or something, of course. Amusing side note: she always arranged the divider so that the ONLY place it blocked the view was from the nurse's station.)

A couple years later, from a nurse in the NICU while I was holding my very ill OTHER baby (just 3 days old): "You are going to regret it if you don't put that baby down!"
(I was so stunned. Now, he wasn't as ill as most of the babies in the NICU, so surely she didn't have this perspective, but all I could think was that, personal parenting beliefs aside, that was the absolute WORST advice you could ever give the mother of a baby in the NICU! What if the baby DIED the next day?? Did she honestly think the mother would be thinking "Gee, it's so awful that I spoiled him so much in those 4 days he was here with me...")

From MORE THAN ONE complete stranger, eyeing my pregnant belly, my 18 month old, and my almost-3-yo: "You do know where they come from, right?" (My wonderful midwife gave me a reply that I actually got to use once: "We've almost narrowed it down!!")

3rd baby, first two are boys; after having an emergency ultrasound at 19 weeks gestation because of horrible, terrifying heart decels during a routine exam:
Me: "[Paraphrase twenty minues of:] The baby's fine, they couldn't find anything wrong." At the very end I add: "Oh, and it's a boy."
My MOM (of all people): "Oh, honey, I'm so sorry."
(Uhhh...I wasn't even HOPING for a girl, and even if I had been, at that point I'd have been thrilled with a nice, healthy hermaphrodite with four arms!!!)

My mom also told me repeatedly that co-sleeping would ruin my marriage because we couldn't have *whisper* sex. She finally quit saying that when I informed her that was what the kitchen counters were for.

She also informed that "those women" from La Leche League were "fanatics." I pulled out my membership card and said "Look mom! I'm a card-carrying fanatic!"

I was pumping while my sister was over once and she said "You look like a cow!" I retorted "Well, I'm not the one giving my kid COW'S MILK!"

Several strangers felt the need to chastize me AND my child because at age four he was still wearing diapers.

Ditto his pacifier from age 2 to 3.5.

I've also been lectured by total strangers for letting my VERY independent and strong-willed 3 yo wear his shoes on the wrong feet. Apparently it will DEFORM his feet and I am actually ABUSING him by not holding him down kicking and screaming every 3 minutes to put them back on the right feet. (I figure he spent most of his time barefoot anyway and that would make up for whatever mess he might possibly be making of them when the shoes were on.)

Also throw in at least a thousand "When's the vasectomy/tubal?" "Was it an accident?" "Was this one an accident, too?" (Honestly, what kind of response do they want? I used to make shit up: "Yeah, actually it was. You see, we knew I was ovulating, so we used a condom, but it broke! So my husband pulled out, and I douched right away, but apparently it was already too late." Do they REALLY want to hear that??)

Once someone wanted to see the puppy I had in my sling. Boy was she surprised by a nursing baby.

Oh, and the VERY SAME nutritionist at WIC said these two things about two of my babies: One was always small for his age. At age 1, she told me that he was so small because I was still breastfeeding him (and he must not be eating enough solids). The next baby was always big for his age. At age 1, she told me that he was too big because I was still breastfeeding him and the rich milk was making him grow too much.

I keep remembering more! Having four kids seems to attract these kinds of comments. My sister once INSISTED on feeding my four month old a french fry. (He was just DYING for one, you know, and I was such a mean mommy for depriving him.) I INSISTED that he would puke, and she fed him one anyway in spite of my protests. Two minutes later, he puked. And yes, I made her clean it up!

Speaking of my sister, I'll share one of hers here, too. Her children are bi-racial, and don't have my sister's skin tone or hair, so some people assume they are adopted. She's had 3-4 total strangers approach her and tell her what a WONDERFUL person she is for "taking in those children." She looks them dead in the eye and says "Oh, they're not adopted. I had SEX to get them!"


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## dotcommama

Quote:

2. FIL's wife: "You are letting him SLEEP with you???!!!!! He's going to have serious psychological problems. He'll be confused about his identity!!"-- me: "You sleep with (FIL), are you confused about YOUR identity??"








:


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## Attila the Honey

I have brown hair and brown eyes, dh has black hair and dark hazel eyes, dd has light brown hair and very blue eyes. It's a surprise even to us! But, if I have to hear one more person say, "heh heh, must be the milk man's baby" I will scream. MIL must have said it 10,000 times, it's her standard joke whenever we are around. Sometimes I fantasize about being really mean and saying, "Yes, that's right. Just like you've joked for the last 11 months, this isn't your bio granddaughter. Now let's see you laugh."

Most of the time I just say, "What's a milkman?" to deliberately be obtuse.

Also, another MIL one that happened just yesterday. 11mo dd is bottlefed, and whenever we go anywhere in a car I always sit in the backseat with her. For some reason this irritates MIL. I don't know, I guess dd is expected to be content on her own but MIL doesn't like to be up front alone?









So, yesterday she set up the carseat and booster so I couldn't sit with dd. At first I didn't think this was intentional, now I do because of what happened next. About 15min into our ride dd started crying. I had to stretch and turn to try to give her a bottle from the front seat and it just wasn't working. Finally, in desperation, I said, "Sweetie, you are going to have to try to hold it on your own.." and MIL piped in with a smug, "Yep, that's right! If she wants to eat let her learn how to hold it! Mmhmm. Good for her!!" Then she muttered something about, "...she's got you trained, that's for sure..."

I just said, "Oh, sorry, thought it was my JOB to feed her?!"


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## Stormimay

What a....mostly....fun thread. I hope it keeps going.

I've heard many many of the ones that have already been posted, including having a well-meaning but misinformed pediatrician tell me to quit breastfeeding, and a whole lot of "don't you know what causes that?" after 4 babies in 5 years. My response is usually, "yes, and I like it!" I loved the kitchen counter response to co-sleeping and sex, I think I will use it if I have the opportunity.
I've thought of a lot of remarks to post here, and now that I'm actually posting I can't remember...my doula calls it placenta brain...

I do remember my worst one ever, when we found out my second was going to be a girl, born 15 months after her brother: "You know having a boy and girl that close together leads to incest, it's just what 'happens' between close brothers and sisters."

?????????????????????????????




































????????????????????????????????????

I'll post more I as I remember them, since this is such a great thread I want it to stay alive.


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## Foobar

Quote:

I have brown hair and brown eyes, dh has black hair and dark hazel eyes, dd has light brown hair and very blue eyes. It's a surprise even to us! But, if I have to hear one more person say, "heh heh, must be the milk man's baby" I will scream. MIL must have said it 10,000 times, it's her standard joke whenever we are around. Sometimes I fantasize about being really mean and saying, "Yes, that's right. Just like you've joked for the last 11 months, this isn't your bio granddaughter. Now let's see you laugh."

Both of my girls look like DH. People say "wow, they really look like their dad" I say "Yes, we're still trying to figure out who the mother is"


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## Faith

Here are mine after my second HB (13 days ago):

"Oh, well it's not like he was *really* over ten pounds, right? I mean she is just a MW so It's not like she's accurate or anything."

"Does she (MW) stay to deliver the placenta, too?"

"Do they just put a band-aid over the cord stump?"

...and a 20 minute lecture on how well-baby checks are necessary to life if you have any more than one child, because you can't possibly be caring for them all.


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## bandana

Just tonight, my mom, a wonderfully intelligent woman, told me that I was going to have to put my 3 m.o. exclusively breastfed ds on a diet so that he wouldn't have to go through a fat childhood.


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## Maple Leaf Mama

Isn't it a great feeling to known that the way we raise our children will probably be the same way they raise theirs? (bf'ing, co sleeping etc.)

I had my FIL get very irrate with me after reading that stupid co-sleeping study last year. He told me in a very angry tone that I was risking her life every time I did it. and before I could tell him off, he said "and it scares me to death"









I also had my friend/neighbor (who weaned at 4 months) tease me about nusing a 13 year old (my DD is 13 months old)
And she and her DH keep telling me that it's time to get DD on a bottle. Or onto cow's milk etc.
Finally I had to ask them why they were so hot to trot to get my DD out of our bed, on a bottle of cow's milk?
He said that it was b/c I would get my body back to myself and it would make my life easier.
Well, having her sleep with us IS easier. I refuse to let her CIO ike they did.
Some people just can't keep their oppinions to themselves!







:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Amanda*
What is it with EVERYONE asking, "so...is she sleeping through the night?" Like it's some kind of contest or something. I used to actually try and answer this question. My answer would go something like this, "well, we co-sleep and I bf, so when she's hungry I just kind of roll over. It's night, so I'm not sure how often it happens. Usually I fall asleep with her eatting...." You get the point.
I got so tired of having to explain why what I'm doing is okay, and to some people that this was not a criminal act. So, now I've just started outright lying to the various strangers and friends of friend's that ask me this question, I just say "great!"







Sometimes people look disappointed when I say this, like they wanted me to say "horrible!, she cries all night." People are so wierd...
I wanted to tell a nice story too...
One afternoon I was at my grandma's and I took a nap while she watched dd for me. When I woke up my grandma said, "I just walked her and held her the whole time you slept, she's only happy when you hold her. You've really spoiled her."
and I relplied to my grandma something like "I guess I have."
and grandma said, "isn't it great spoiling babies!" and she was smiling. My grandma told me she never let one of her 4 babies cry...and that my mom never let me cry either. She said my grandpa didn't think it was right to let a baby cry.








Just wanted to add that there are a few older AP parents out there! Imagine being AP in the 1950's????
This thread is great! Why do people feel free to say stupid things to mothers and pregnant women?


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## rickyshot

This was the most interesting thread ever. My children are grown and I remember the baby days. I was not a fully "crunchy" mama. I really do not get into sterotypes but you could say I was mainly mainstream but I did nurse my kids till they were 15 months old, did quite a bit of co sleeping, would not leave them with babysitters, made their own food and cloth diapered. I ended up divorced and raised the three on my own so did not see a way to homeschool. I wish I could have done that one. I did vaccinate them and am ashamed to say they were spanked I say ashamed because I came from the South where it was just done and I wrongly interpreted the bible about sparing the rod. THAT is my biggest regret. I was spanked as most of us probably were and felt no abuse about my parents. I think I had great parents and my kids and I talk about it. We all commit errors and looking at all the comments given except for the very stupid and cruel ones a lot of the comments given by family members may just be a real curiousity or wanting to know. My mom did not BF and would ask me questions and not in judging. She wanted what was best for me and her grandchild. I would answer her with my new research and showed her my LL book. After spending a week with my and my newborn and seeing how the wonderful LL leader came to my house and rescued me from a breast infection with fever and started a successful nursing relationship, mom was impressed and sighed" I wish I did that when you were young". That was the greatest compliment she could ever give. Maya Angelou said something like this. We did what we knew how to do and when we knew better, we did better. So true. I hope people are not trying to be crunchier than thou. Some of the comments especially by strangers were really mean and stupid. I have had all kinds in my day. I just did what I knew and thought best for my children some with regrets and some with great joy. I loved those days.


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## Parthenia

I as at a reception at work yesterday and someone I used to work with whom I hadn't seen in a few weeks noticed that my belly had grown quite a bit (I had also eaten a big lunch, and was snacking at the party). She said, "wow! You really look pregnant!" That didn't bother me, with dd#1 people didn't know I was pregnant til I was about 7 mos. But this woman next to her, whom I don't know said, "You're huge! When are you due?". Some time in the beginning of Feb., I said. She snorted and replied, "More like January!" I just said, "We'll see," and walked back to to the table with the pumpkin pie. Clearly she had chosen the wrong profession and should have gone into obstetrics if she could predict, having never met me before, when my baby is coming based on how big my belly is.


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## wildmonkeys

These are great!!! I love this board







and I have a few....

My younger son has food allergies and I have been given sooooo many reasons for this including:

From some friends that didn't bf - You probably bf too long - if you had introduced formula/solids earlier he probably could have handled it (or it would have killed him)

From a friend who had a homebirth - you shouldn't have had him in hospital, that environment is no good. As if the midwife launched his food allergies because she made him eat scrambled eggs or a peanut butter sandwhich in the delivery room?

A last one - I have a neighbor who has a dd that went through a really intense hitting, biting, scratching phase. One day she picked up a board book and hit my 12 week old over the head and her mom turned to me and said "I guess she is responding to his 'maleness'" WTH??? He was a newborn laying on a blanket asleep and my older son was playing with a doll - what a den of violent raging male hormones my home is







:

Cheerio funny mamas!
BJ
Ben & Barney


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## Aura_Kitten

Quote:

He was a newborn laying on a blanket asleep and my older son was playing with a doll - what a den of violent raging male hormones my home is








:


----------



## Hoopin' Mama

A couple people have told me that I am going to have a very hairy baby because I have heartburn. Keep in mind this is after I tell them how much I have craved spicy food since my third month of pregnancy.

My MIL told me if I gain more than 20 pounds in my pregnancy that I would be very unhealthy and definitely get a c-section. I have since proudly updated her about every pound I gained past 20


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## Michele

I have five children, all born in Japan. My second child sucked his thumb and I was told by a complete stranger that "he does that because of my lack of love for him." I pretended not to have heard her and walked away. The latest from my mother who has a tendency to be horrible when I run my life the way I see fit. "So what do they do for six hours each day?" This was the comment when she found out my oldest two are learning at home. Duh? They are not getting harrassed, beat up, and bored while teachers are trying to deal with the discipline problems in their classes. Hang in there everyone!


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## Bethla

You need to get that baby on a schedule!
(he's a week old!)

He needs some water to drink.
(imagine that, breastmilk contains no water!)

Get some shoes on that kid!
(riding in a stroller?)

You better learn to live with it.
(My grandfather deciding to take the scenic route and my son screaming his head off in his carseat.)

Are you just going to give him the boob all the time?
(most of the time)

If I did it you can do it.
(but I don't want to and look at how your kids turned out.)


----------



## tboroson

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Debbiemom*
From MORE THAN ONE complete stranger, eyeing my pregnant belly, my 18 month old, and my almost-3-yo: "You do know where they come from, right?"

How about answering, "Cincinnati!"

For those who ask if the baby is the "milkman's", answer, "How did you know? Please don't let his wife find out!"

For "Don't you know nursing will turn him/her into a homosexual?", sigh wistfully and say, "If only it were that easy!"

:LOL

I guess I'm lucky. I haven't heard too many stupid ones. A few of the "You'll never get her out of your bed" and "Let her scream, it's good for her lungs." But, nothing more unusual than that.


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## KarenEMT

My MIL asked me before DS#2 was born if I was going to try "that silly breastfeeding again. I don't know why you'd want to - it makes you like a cow" I was so speechless - had no retort to that one.

And the genius older woman when I went shopping with my mom - who, when DS was snuggled up in his sling at 2 mos old, asked "Are you sure he can breathe in that thing?" to which I replied "Don't worry, I just got recertified in my CPR!"


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## Victorian

The perfect thing would be to say to MIL "Moo" every time you see her.


----------



## April 2007

My grandmother is NOT happy AT ALL about my 12 yr old sister being homeschooled. Especially by me (she thinks the only slightly appropriate way to homeschool a child is if the parent/careprovider is a certified teacher). We've heard comment after comment after comment after comment after..........about why she's so concerned my sister will be stupid all her life. OI!

So the latest one was last night. My sister is going to New York City with our local community theatre. A trip that will bring lifelong memories! What an opportunity! My grnamdother's only comment was, "will she be able to make it up ["homeschool work"]??? Now, imagine the laughing in my head because what my grandma doesn't know is that we actually don't use text books at all...except for oak meadow math. But seriously, isn't that one of the POINTS of homeschooling?? So she doesn't have to freak out about "missing out on school work"? I mean, my goodness! hmm...New York City or school work, New York City or school work....I just don't know which to choose!!

On another school note, I had an Algebra teacher who wouldn't excuse my absence because I was at the birth of a precious new baby. My chorus teacher was like my surrogate father. My best friend and I were pretty much his only children until his wife got pregnant 3 years after we met them. He wanted us to be there when their baby was born








My teacher said it was unexcusable because "that baby didn't need me there to be born...there were plenty of doctors around"

Now, I love learning new things, and I think education is one of the most important things in a person's life. BUT, some people have their noses stuck so far up the crack of the book that they can't see true life going on around them enough to "smell the roses"!!!


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## saritabeth

Oh so many stories....

A single girlfriend of mine saw me bfing in my home about 2 weeks pp and said "woah, your areola's are HUGE!" I just sort of laughed...

When I was pregnant I repeatedly had people telling me how gigantic I was (I Am only 5'1 and pregnant!!) One man asked me EVERY sunday at church when I was due and then made an assesment as to how large I was and when he thought dd would be born. About the fourth time he asked me I said "The date hasn't changed since you asked me last week"

when Ella was about 6 w.o. a girl friend and I met for lunch with our new babies. We sat outside and these people were completely neglecting their 4 year old who was darling, but obsessed with our babies, particularly mine. All lunch I had to tell her to please go see her mommy that my baby is sleeping right now. Finally when I was changing dd's diaper little girl leaned into her stroller and SNEEZED on her and me (I felt dropplets!!!) At that point I said, "okay, your child just sneezed on my new baby" then the grandmother screamed at the little girl







and lectured me about how it is scientifically proven that bfed babies can not get sick. To which my friend responded, well we can all hope so, can;t we!

grrrr stupid people...

AAah the best one yet....when dd was 2 weeks old I was sore and exhausted from unplanned section and being a new mama....and a really stupid mean lady admired my baby and said "This is the time that you think is so hard but it isn't, it only gets harder"

I walked out and started to cry....stupid stupid stupid lady!


----------



## indiana ima

Wow! I have really been enjoying this thread! It took me ages to read all the way through to here. Thanks to everyone who has contributed.







I even enjoy the posts that make me angry. I kind of like getting riled up about things like this. It is sort of a political anger.









I do have some contributions too, of dumb things I've heard, angrifying (is that a word?) things I've heard, and comebacks I hope are snappy.

Like others here I was annoyed when my Mom said, about both my first two births: "that was the easiest baby I ever had".







: She had the sense not to say it about #3, who I struggled to go into labor with for about 3 weeks.









Speaking of my mother, my jaw just dropped over this conversation. Twice now







she has told me she thinks I should sort my family's dirty laundry by person (mine in one hamper, husband's in a second, etc.). I told her I really didn't think it would save me any time or energy, but then I asked why she thought I should do it. "To avoid 'bacterial contamination'", she said. It is worth mentioning that the whole family slept in the same bedroom when she said that.









My father, who is a family physician who gave up catching babies many, many years ago when he couldn't afford the malpractice insurance any more, liked to harp on my size during my 3rd pregnancy.







The first time he said it I replied "gee Dad, you must be awfully out of practice if you can't see I'm right on target". Later he brought it up again and I got so frustrated with him I said "you go get a measuring tape and I bet you I won't be one centimeter past my weeks gestation plus three (which is considered "normal"). He finally stopped bringing it up after that one.









I was working during most of my first pregnancy. One day when I was large and sleepy, my boss, a woman who had never been pregnant, ran me down and then back up three flights of stairs to do some sort of errand with me. As I huffed and puffed my way back up the stairs afterward, she made some snarky comment about how I needed more exercise. I held my tongue, though I wanted to ask when she'd become an obstetrician. Since then, her spouse - a hugely overweight woman - gave birth to their twins. I expect my old boss learned a little more about pregnancy during that experience!









My third baby was less than 2 weeks old and my parents were visiting from 700 miles away to take care of me, the house, the older two, etc.. I was taking a much needed nap when suddenly my mother banged loudly on the door - waking me from a sound sleep and scaring me silly.







: My midwife's backup OB was on the phone, wanting to know if baby was born yet or not. Gee Mom, you couldn't answer that question yourself?!

With my third my mother at first was trying to invite herself here for the labor (yes, from 700 miles away







) but a few months later she started telling me not to even call her when labor began because she would worry for hours until the call came that the baby was born and we were both fine. She can't even handle knowing I am *IN* labor, but she wants to be here to witness it and "support" me through it?!









My oldest is a boy and my second born a girl. So people loved to ask me what sex I was hoping my third would be. I liked to say "Oh, it is against the rules to want one or the other. The motherhood rule book says I'm not allowed to have a preference." :LOL

I live in a very "progressive" little university town where lots of us sling and breastfeed toddlers in public and all that







, so I get almost no dumb comments from strangers, but I have some comebacks in my mind anyway, just from hearing what happens to other mothers.

For a childless fool who spouts off nonsense you know is false, or if someone predicts the future, i.e. "trust me, you WILL want an epidural" one can say: "how would you know"?







:

For almost anything really dumb: "do you realize that you just said that out loud?"









For "detachment" parenting advice: "I feel sorry for your children."









For bad medical advice from medical professionals someone else here said "Doc, have you even cracked a book in the last 10 years?"







That simply can't be improved upon, I think. That's a fabulous comeback.









And for stupidity like "if she can ask to nurse she's too old" one can say: "perhaps you should apply that to yourself and see if it still makes sense to you."
















I hope I never have occasion to use any of them, but I hope if I have occasion to, I actually say one out loud!


----------



## Pam_and_Abigail

Oooohh! I finally have one really good one to add, thanks to my MIL just this past weekend (Can. thanksgiving dinner). We were talking about how, since we moved out of the apartment and are staying with my sister until we can move into the house, she's kinda slipped up on the potty business (she's 25 months, but we did a lazy type of EC. Pottying got intensive by 18 months when she learned how to take off her diapers). Anyway, she'd had a few accidents this day at dh's aunt's, and MIL was telling us we should just put a diaper on her, and if she takes it off, put it back on, etc. Well, tiring but not s stupid thing to say. Then she suggested to us that if she continues to have accidents, we should *confine* her to an area. DH's response was great: "Yeah, we'll just chain her up or put her in a cage!" Conversation kinda stopped. This is the same woman who was confined to bedrest with dh at 10 weeks gest. and her oldest son (15 mos older than dh) literally lived in a playpen all day while FIL worked. FIL got the baby up in the morning, changed, fed, put in the pen, and did the same when he got home. I'd like to think he must've at least been fed and changed by MIL!


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## aprons_and_acorns

Dh and I were at an art fair last weekend with our eight week old in the ring sling. An older woman came up to see the baby and commented on the sling. "What will they think of next?" she said, shaking her head. "They sure have come a long way"

I smiled at her and said "They sure have. Full circle, as a matter of fact."

She complimented the baby and the sling and that was that. It wasn't like she was supid or rude, just the idea that she thought the sling was some newfangled baby technology was funny to dh and me.

I like his thread. Good mix of














:LOL


----------



## Amberlyn

Quote:


Originally Posted by *indiana ima*
"
My oldest is a boy and my second born a girl. So people loved to ask me what sex I was hoping my third would be. I liked to say "Oh, it is against the rules to want one or the other. The motherhood rule book says I'm not allowed to have a preference." :LOL


This reminds me of the story of when my mom was pregnant with me... Im the baby of the family.. with an older sister and brother. When people asked my brother (5 yrs older than me) what he wanted.. a brother or sister.. he would reply.. "Neither.. I want a Monster!".... Yeah haha funny.. long running joke in the family about how he got his wish


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## dnr3301

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Amberlyn*
This reminds me of the story of when my mom was pregnant with me... Im the baby of the family.. with an older sister and brother. When people asked my brother (5 yrs older than me) what he wanted.. a brother or sister.. he would reply.. "Neither.. I want a Monster!".... Yeah haha funny.. long running joke in the family about how he got his wish









Totally OT, but reminds me of a funny...
when I was pregnant with ds, my mom thought it was really funny to ask dd if the baby was a boy or a girl, she thought dd was "more in touch" or something new-agey like that. (Not that I don't believe that a little, but that's OT.) I knew he was a boy before I even got pregnant, so my mom would always tease me that dd thought it was a girl. I answered, "yah, well sometimes she says it's a banana in there too, so I'm not taking what she says too seriously."


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## Mama Michelle

What gets me is the advice from back in the day. My mom does't understand why I BF or Co sleep (or anything else I do for that matter). She keeps insisting that I've spoiling my dd or being too protective (dd is 6 mn). And that when I was little formula was fine-look how you turned out OR that I really don't need a car seat and wer can go on short errands without dd in it! and that I should give her sweets and milk and bread. Just because that's what she did with me and sis. She also beat the hell out of us for STUPID things. She asked me if I was going to spank my dd and then told me that I should start displining(sp?) my dd now or I'd regret it. HOW THE HELL DO YOU DISAPLINE A 6 MONTH OLD! And for what reason????? Then she started sizing up dd, saying what a small waist she's going to have. My mom baffels me sometimes!


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## tammylc

Re slings being new - I get that all the time "Gee, what a cool thing. I wish they'd had those in my day..." etc.


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## Past_VNE

Most of my comments are from my grandmother.

I told her I saw no need to buy bottles. She replied, "Well, how will you get water into the baby?" Ummmm, through my breast milk. "That's not enough. You'll see. The doctors will tell you."

She said I should be due in November, since gestation is 36 weeks. I told her it was 40 weeks. She asked me, quite sarcastically, "When did _that_ change?"...."When I had your mother, it was only 9 months...but now it's 10? Hmmph" I drew it out for her on a sheet of paper, showing LMP, week 1 and on, month 1 and on, plus showed her how trimesters fit in. She just got irritated and changed the subject.

We haven't even gone over circumcision and how awful it is. My grandpa was born on a farm in Canada in 1916. I'm guessing he's intact. They have no sons. I'm sure she would have circ'ed, but haven't heard her mention it. Taught my mom about circ. She is no intactivist, but thinks it is very wrong. If this child is a boy, I know my grandma will be very opinionated about his intactness. Oh my!!!

I can't even begin to tell you the other pregnancy/parenting comments I've gotten from her. Some have been real 'hum-dingers'....if only I could think of them.


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## Benji'sMom

My ped told DH that DS needed to loose weight, and we should put water in his bottles and feed him Poweraid! Duh!!!!!!! He was 4 months old at the time.


----------



## saritabeth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Benji'sMom*
My ped told DH that DS needed to loose weight, and we should put water in his bottles and feed him Poweraid! Duh!!!!!!! He was 4 months old at the time.











Are you even kidding?! WTF?!! Yeah really, Im sure your four month old was a real fatty...all that breastmilk on demand and stuff....grrrrr. while you're at it, you might as well just give him a bottle of aspertame. Why are people so freaking stupid?!!!!









sorry mama, that is just the worst!


----------



## vancouverlori

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Benji'sMom*
My ped told DH that DS needed to loose weight, and we should put water in his bottles and feed him Poweraid! Duh!!!!!!! He was 4 months old at the time.










OMG, please consider reporting this character to his governing body. That's just so incredibly wrong on so many points, and this person feels that they're in a position to advise people? And is in a position that people will take his advice? Ah-yah!!!! As a pharmacist, I regularly see how doctors are human and make many mistakes, but this is beyond making a mistake.







hugs to you for having to deal with this Ped.
-Lori


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## William's Mom

I'm new here, and just as I wrote on my first post, finding this site is like a homecoming.

I was at my 9 week old ds's dr appt yesterday (an appt that I didn't want to take him to but I did) and the whole visit was just miserable. I left the house already upset because yet another person had just told us it was a "mistake" to let the baby sleep in our room. My standard comeback is that we let the cats sleep in there; why would we banish the baby????

S anyway&#8230;

First of all when we got there at the dr's office, when the nurse was trying to take William's blood pressure, he started fussing because she was rough, and it annoyed me how she just treated the baby as an object, not a person. I've known plenty of wonderful medical staff in my time, but she wasn't one of them.

So he was fussing and she said very coldly, "This is taking too long. Can't you just put a bottle or pacifier in his mouth?" I said, "No, I breastfeed," and she said "That's the problem with that." I was outraged but bit my tongue.

Later when I'm dressing him after the exam, she pointed out that I had missed a button. I thanked her, but then, she kept repeating, "You know you really need to dress him right. You started at the top buttoning down. You MUST start at the bottom." Well I was still tryig to be friendly, and my dh jokingly told her, "We're just happy if he has clothes on because he goes through so many." But the nurse just looked back at me and repeated, "She needs to do it right!" I did get upset, but only said "I do&#8230;"

The nurse leaves and about an hour later, the dr comes in.

I was already irritated and became more so when she became obsessed with growth charts and told me my son was "fat" and she said it like it was a dirty word. You see my son was 4 weeks premature. At his appt yesterday, he was exactly 9 weeks old but they go by his adjusted age, which is real age minus the number of weeks he's early. So she was grading me on a 5 week old's stats and because he weighs 11 pounds 11 ounces, she kept saying he is overweight. I just told her I wasn't going to stop nursing on demand and she didn't push it.

But what really, really hurt my feelings was at the end of the exam, she point blank said, "William has a big nose and a small chin, but don't worry, he can have plastic surgery when he's older. They can do all sorts of extreme makeovers these days. They can fix him right up!"

I was taken aback and terribly hurt. So much so that I said nothing to her, but set there almost in tears. I think my son is beautiful, and doesn't need to be "fixed."

Here are some photos of him.

http://www.pbase.com/robin_mattingly/image/34921436

http://www.pbase.com/robin_mattingly/image/34599284

http://www.pbase.com/robin_mattingly/image/34600692

You can see LOTS more photos of him on my website linked below.

And to top it all off, ds was hungry so I nursed him as we walked out of the room and the receptionist unabashedly stared at me and said something to the person next to her&#8230;. But ds was hungry and I'm not about to make him wait.

Thanks for letting me vent&#8230;.


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## cinnamonamon

Wow Robin! I guess it's good to find out now that you need a different Doctor, huh!







Some people!

And for the record, I think William is absolutely gorgeous! That was beyond rude. Good for you for not making your ds wait -- I made mine wait in the waiting room at the dr.s office for 2 HOURS because they told me I should feed him afterwards -- live & learn, I guess, but...







my poor baby.

And ahem...that nurse would freak out if she saw how my ds is usually dressed...or rather not dressed! :LOL


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## OwensMa

Robin, that was possibly the _worst/dumbest_ thing on this thread! Your DS is beautiful, such a lovely little boy! And you did everything *right*! Nurse him when he's hungry. Stare back! Staircase humour has me thinking you should have said "I don't point out your figure/facial flaws, so why so you point out my son's?" to the nurse. However, your son does not have any *flaws*. I was just trying to think of something quick to retort without stooping right down to her level, ie "Botox can help those cavernous wrinkles, a little slice would take care of that hairy growth called a mole....














: Anyway, I am so upset by how you and your DS were treated, and I'm a nurse. It really shames me to think there are people who are supposedly the 'professionals', and act in that manner. I'd certainly write a letter to your dr about her behaviour. It shouldn't go unchecked.


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## April 2007

Robin, that is HORRIBLE! I can't imagine what I would have done in your situation.

BTW, your son is SOOOO CUTE! I can't believe anyone would even SUGGEST taking away any of those adorable features! I was flipping through your pictures and I just absolutely LOVE the black and white "Old Man Face" picture! If you haven't already, you need to send that in to be put in a calendar! It's just precious!!

Oh yeah, and Robin, your son sure is a fatty! You need to start doing weight watchers with that boy! LOL What were they thinking?? How can anyone look at that baby and think he's fat? OI!!


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## boingo82

Robin, welcome to Mothering.








I'm also astounded that the nurse could say something so ridiculous about your adorable baby. She's not only rude, but apparently dumb too, because fact is that babies don't have chins! None of them do.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...2/DSCF1125.jpg
There is my DS, with his no-chin. (Which is how I like him.







)

I can't believe she would be so callous, and about EVERYTHING.


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## sandsprite

Robin, first off I am sorry you had to go through just a horrible experience. I, myself am a nurse and I am ashamed of how that nurse behaved. Should have told her to learn some bedside manners. she clearly had none.

DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME WITH THIS PEDIATRITION!!! find one that ...oh I dont know... likes kids, and I don't know... perhaps knows what he is talking about. This fellow is just in it to make more money... suggesting plastic surgery for an infant!!! procedure hungry or what.

And your baby is just gorgeous. Don't touch a thing, and don't let anyone suggest such a terrible thing in front of him again. when I was a kid I had a dentist who kept on telling me I should fix the gap in me teeth. I never noticed any gap and when I told mom, she told me "oh that man does not know what he is talking about. don't pay any attention to him" the next time she had words with him, and we switched dentists after the second time he mentioned the 'gap'.

I love my mom for that.


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## sadie_sabot

Wow, Robin. that nurse and doctor are so off base it's shocking. Don't let them get to you! Don't listen to them! Plastic surgery? How 'bout these jerks go back to medical school???

saorry you had to endure such a crap visit, and I hope you are able to find a better pediatrician, at leat one with a clue about breastfeeding.


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## HelloKitty

How to choose just one??????

OK well probably the dumbest was this...

I have three kids and am currently expecting number four. With my first two boys I was a single mom for many years and had to work, with the third I've been working part time while me and DH switch off . Me and DH decided that we would sell our home and downsize so I can stay home with the kids, we are in the process of doing this now. Anyways - I explained this to an old family friend and she said to me "Well that's really great for you - you've been working all these years, it's about time you got some 'me time'.

"Gee I didn't realize being a SAHM with four kids was going to allow for 'me time'!!!!! And here I thought it was going to be a lot of work... hehehehehehe.

Kitty


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## Mama Michelle

i hope this thread never dies. It took me almost 2 weeks to read all 36 pages!
Just today my dd and I were at the court house for early voting and this lady comes up to us and asked: Does she fit in that thing" referring to the sling. DUH. Then she asked if dd was a girl or a boy? The child was in pink, she looks like a girl. Some people. I do ge that a lot though esp. when she is in the sling-it's blue.

The other day, my dad told me that my dd was to attached to me and that I should let her cry more. What purpose does that serve???????? He went on to say that the only reasons babies should cry is if they are hungry or wet, other than that I should just leave her in her crib (which has NEVER been used and Never will be). That's what they did with me and sis and we're fine.

OK, first, my mom and I aren't that close, well we don't get along that well. Second 27 years has past since we were babies and A LOT has changed since then. I told dh and he just laughed. We really don't understand my parents sometimes.

VOTE KERRY!


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## Foobar

Robin-

I think you win. Get rid of that Ped ASAP. No person should be treated like that. Your little one is fine. Who would ever suggest plastic surgery for a child? Maybe if he had a cleft palet and needed it fixed to be able to eat, but come on!
AUGH!


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## William's Mom

Took me a little while to make it back on the computer...but I wanted to thank everyone for listening, and for the nice responses I've received. This thread, and this board in general, are great!

I still don't know why that dr was so rude... I know I'm completely biased but I think my son is beautiful.

In fact, here is another photo of him breastfeeding.
(I also posted this on th bf board, so sorry if you've seen it twice.)

http://www.pbase.com/robin_mattingly/image/35337464

Have a great weekend!


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## cinnamonamon

awwwwww -- that is beautiful!


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## sandsprite

now there is pure bliss if I ever saw it!!!
That pic is good enough to be published on the cover of some breastfeeding text.


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## dotcommama

Omg that pictures is amazingly beautiful, as is your son. Please get a new doctor!


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## reilly's momma

Yes, you have a gorgeous son, and, well lets just say I can't say anything nice about that doc so I'll just agree with others who think you should fire that doctor. Setting aside the unwanted plastic surgery advice, remember you are the customer & if you are not getting good customer service then they should not get to keep making money off you, go where you will be treated respectfully (there are plenty of docs who will be respectful even when they don't agree with your choices).


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## shishkeberry

Last night this lady that DF and I are friends with told me that when she had her son (about 20 years ago, I forget how old he is) the doctors told her that if he didn't cry much she was supposed to MAKE him cry by poking his feet with safety pins







:







She asked me if they told me that too! No, they certainly didn't and I would have ran if they did!


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## OwensMa

OMG! And did she actually do that?!


----------



## Parthenia

When dd was born the nurses said she didn't cry enough, so after she had laid on my belly, after they wiped her off and took her vitals, after she nursed for the first time and was sleeping peacefully in my arms they took her away to check her over yet again. It was one of a zillion reasons they gave when they would take her out of our room.
This was the dh's main reason for wanting to stay home for this next birth.


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## velcromom

A few months ago I was out running errands wearing a t-shirt that said, "There are two ways to feed a baby: the right side and the left side". A young woman clerk at the hardware store came up and said hi to ds and read the shirt and with a confused look, asked me, "So what does that mean, you can hold them with your left or right arm?"

I patiently explained the existence and function of breasts to the young lady, and thought to myself: We have a lot of work to do.


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## Mamm2

Robin,








I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT STUPID DOCTOR AND NURSE MADE THOSE COMMENTS. I am in total outrage. Your son is the cutest, and that breastfeeding picture is gorgeous. Lets start with a couple of things.

I would write a letter to the office manager, and cc the insurance company and what the hell, the department of health. Suggesting comestic surgery to a baby is unethical in my opinion.

The "nurse" is probably not a nurse, but a medical assistant. They have minimal training. Why was she taking your ds blood pressure? My previous and current ped don't take his blood pressure. Unless there is a special reason in your case...

I would look for another physician. This was way beyond rude. I would not want those dirtbags taking care of my baby, if and when he got sick.

Pls check the Finding your Tribe or Finding your Practioner Forum, the mommas there will help you find another doc. That is how I found my doc.


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## MamaPear

This thread is hilarious!! Sad, but hilarious. The dumbest statement I get about my DD (6 months) is when people tell me what a cute little boy she is. Now, at times I can understand...her hair is short and straight, and it is sometimes tough to tell with little babies. My favorite one happened a couple of months ago when DH and I met some of his co-workers for lunch. I had DD dressed in a light blue dress with ruffles and flowers and pearl buttons and ruffled socks. Well, one of dh's co-workers came up to us and was remarking how cute dd was, then said "it's a boy, right." My smart aleck reply was "of course, I always dress my sons in dresses. I just LOVE giving them a complex." Sheesh!


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## Shorin_Mama

I don't have any kids (yet!) but I already have a snappy comeback for the "Was this an accident?" idiocy:

"Yeah, I tripped and fell on a dick."

:LOL Jess


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## sandsprite

here's a good one... a nurse friend of mine was changing ds and said

"oh this is a cloth diaper, how do you tell if it's wet?"

really, I thought she was kidding, but no, she was serious.


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## Ravin

Last weekend I was walking from my car into the grocery store. Since DD was in the mood for it, I intended to put her in the cart rather than the sling, so I was carrying her in a sort of "football" hold position, her belly facing the ground, across my left arm. This is comfortable for both of us for short walks and she finds it quite entertaining to see the ground whooshing by.

Some woman in an SUV drives by us in the parking lot and goes: "It's a baby, not a sack of potatoes!"








:

Robin, fire that pediatrician and report him! What an idiot!


----------



## tammylc

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ravin*
Last weekend I was walking from my car into the grocery store. Since DD was in the mood for it, I intended to put her in the cart rather than the sling, so I was carrying her in a sort of "football" hold position, her belly facing the ground, across my left arm. This is comfortable for both of us for short walks and she finds it quite entertaining to see the ground whooshing by.

Some woman in an SUV drives by us in the parking lot and goes: "It's a baby, not a sack of potatoes!"








:

Robin, fire that pediatrician and report him! What an idiot!

Spoken like someone who's probably never had a baby of her own... I know I carry my DS in all kinds of weird positions - whatever works, and that he likes, is good for me!


----------



## kunama

Ravin said:


> Some woman in an SUV drives by us in the parking lot and goes: "It's a baby, not a sack of potatoes!"
> 
> 
> 
> Lol! One of my friends carries her daughter just like that and she told me one time when she had her dd in her Winnie the Pooh snowsuit and was walking along with her over one arm, this group of teenage girls walked past and she heard them saying to each other "Wow, it looks so real, just like a real baby"
> 
> Now, what made them think she was a doll is beyond me. My friend is a mega goth and i don't think i've ever seen a goth walking along the street carrying a doll in a snowsuit!
Click to expand...


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## Galatea

We took ds to a new doctor (b/c I love dealing with idiots







: ) and she said that if we didn't retract his foreskin every day, he would get adhesions.

The "how is he sleeping" question used to drive me up a wall. Now I enjoy saying, "Oh, he sleeps 12 or 14 hours a night." And then when they go, "Wow, that's great, you are so lucky!" I say, "Yeah, he sleeps with us, I nurse him in my sleep and never wake up - I've gotten more sleep since he was born than in my entire life" and let them be jealous of me.

When MIL asked, "Are they gonna circumcise him later?" dh fielded the question, so I didn't have to deal with it. I love dh.


----------



## RosieTook

Quote:

"It's a baby, not a sack of potatoes!"








dd loves to be carried like that too...sometimes it's the only thing that works, especially when she's gassy...

I know it's been said...cause I've actually read the whole thread...yaay me! but my mom has told me that nursing when I am pregnant will kill the baby...







she really needs to get some new info...







:

One that you might not have heard...she also told me, in response to me changing dd from football to cradle and back while bf, is that I'd better get her settled in one position soon or my nipples won't know which way to point







apparently that is the REAL definition of nipple confusion







:


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## Katrinawitch

My son was born with a cleft lip and palate. We found out about it at my 20-week ultrasound, so it wasn't a surprise, but still distressing, of course. When he was born, the lip cleft turned out to be an incomplete unilateral cleft, not nearly as bad as it could have been (and we thought he was beautiful anyway!), so we consider ourselves extremely lucky.

The hospital photographer, who takes all of the newborn's pictures, came around to show us the proofs. She had noticed the cleft, and said "they can do wonderful things with surgery these days. Once he has that fixed, he'll be perfect".

Uhhhhhhh, well, we think he's perfect already, thanks anyway!


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## Shenjall

Heres one:
I was told that its okay to give my kids fruit roll ups because its real fruit - "look, it says fruit right here on the box" I laughed b/c I thought she was making a sarcastic joke but she wasnt - she was quite serious. I told to her to read the ingredient label and all she read out was sugar, sugar, sugar. All she could say was "oh, but it still says fruit on the front"
whatever....







I'm still not letting you feed that crap to my kids.
My EX pediatrician said that I was doing psychological damage to my 2 yr old by still nursing. Riiiiiight. I'll just file that peice of info under "C" for CRAP!


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## awnja

So I'm nursing dd to sleep, skimming this thread, cracking up (drowning the baby by swimming while pregnant?!) and thus waking poor dd up again and again...

Then I read about William's 9 week appointment and almost start crying. How awful!!! Then I click on his pictures and... how DARE someone insult that perfect little child?! He's so beautiful. (good photography too btw) WTF was that... what a weird doctors office.

So glad to hear I'm not the only one sick of "how's she sleeping?" and I've got a fun comeback to "is she a good baby?" now. These are the dumb things I hear, along with, put some cereal in her formula and she'll sleep through the night... after I just said she's exclusively breast fed. Stuff like that.

Something more unique and cuter is:
My dd's 6 mos and since she was 2 mo, my mother has been trying to get her to say things.
"Say, 'mama'."
Mom, she can't talk yet.
"OK, then say 'gramma.' 'Grraaaa-ma"
Mom, she can't talk.
"Well she has to learn."

My folks were pretty AP (28 years ago), but mom doesn't seem to think dd will develop unless pushed or something. She's been concerned that I hold her too much... until lately, because apparently there was something on the news saying its good for them (duh, that's news?). Like we can trust those "studies" on the news... but if it gets my mom to quit asking me to put her on the floor, that's fine with me.

julie


----------



## Ravin

Various cross-cultural studies have found that nearly all children manage to learn basic human skills w/out much encouragement. A culture that believes such encouragement/training is needed may result in children acquiring those skills a few months earlier on average than in others where they don't worry about it, but all of them learn eventually. But early encouragement isn't necessarily harmful, either. So while it may seem annoying to you that your mother tries to encourage your DD to talk, and it's totally unneccesary (in some cultures the mothers don't really talk to infants at all, and they still learn to talk just by being around mother and siblings and other people the mother talks to), it is also pretty much harmless.

My DD is talking to me right now. She's very sure of her statements. It's cool how she has all the emotional tones and overall gist of sentences in her speech even while it's just unintelligible babbling and not words yet.


----------



## MamaPear

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kalliesmama*
Then again this comes from the woman who has told me that Kallie is spoiled because we won't spank her (she's not even one!) and constantly asks when I'm going to wean Kallie so that she can keep her overnight







:


My Mom keeps saying the same thing!!! I get sooo tired of hearing "oh, I can't wait until Brooklynne's done nursing so that she can spend the night with Mamaw!" Uggg, how did our moms get so dumb? LOL, remember when it seemed like they knew everything??

Oh yeah, and I get the "look" whenever I tell people that we aren't going to spank Brook. You know, the "yeah right, we'll see" look. Well, we'll see who has the better behaved child! Sheesh!!


----------



## MamaPear

Quote:


Originally Posted by *StarMama*
Ok, I've got one... My MIL is CONSTANTLY telling me I *must* make sure ds crawls because otherwise he won't be able to read well. She (and Dh) have both heard its linked somehow. Which I'm sure, if it is, is because those two things are linked because good readers crawl well and not like if he's a crappy reader I can suddenly teach him to crawl and he'll start reading War and Peace the next day.

Also, how exactly am I supposed to make *sure* he crawls? Its not like I can MAKE him or anything. Yeah he gets floor time, and yeah I can put his toys away from him far enough to encourage, but if he decides to skip it and walk, well not much can be done there!

My MIL has the same idea in her head. SIL supposedly never crawled and has dyslexia, so MIL heard somewhere that there is a connection between the two. I personally don't know. I have to admit that I never cared enough to look it up.


----------



## Jennifer3141

Personally, DH and I are not too fond of pink so our daughter is in a lot of gender neutral clothing.

While grocery shopping one day, an older woman came up to us and even though Pauline was safely tucked into her sling, she grabbed her feet and started talking to us about our "son." I politely corrected her and explained that she was touching a GIRL and she looked at her green outfit and said, "Oh my. If you don't get her more pink clothing, she won't know if she's a boy or a girl when she gets older."

So my husband quips back that he hopes her VAGINA tips her off or else she'll have to wait until MENSTRUATION occurs.









This woman had clearly never heard anatomical terms in open public before and I wasn't quite sure she wouldn't need CPR.

And then there was the elderly woman in a restaurant who asked if Pauline was a boy or a girl and when DH answered, "A daughter!" this woman came back with, "Well, I'll pray that your next child is a boy."









Gee. Thanks. Because we just don't love the babies without penises. I should strap one on her right now to compensate.

I did get a good laugh out of DH yelling at her back that we weren't looking for a plow hand or a field worker - we were just delighted with a happy healthy CHILD.

Jen


----------



## Jennifer3141

Robin,

I've gone back in this thread a few pages and I just wanted to take a moment to tell you that your son is gorgeous. He has an other-worldly look to him that makes me think of elves.







You can just see him concentrating and thinking. I really, truly think you need to write a letter to that doctor's office and tell them how you feel. I'd also copy your insurance company because they do keep track of patient satisfaction and having the latest health information and wanting to keep the cost of caring for your son down, they will be interested to know how unfriendly that office is regarding BFing. You can also notify the state in which you live's licensing department - essentially saying your son is not good looking is not illegal but it will be embarressing to the doctor and nurse. Your doctor may also be board certified - that would be another place to notify.

I'd also make darn sure your insurance company knows you waited an HOUR for the doctor to arrive in the room. Hello? What?

When Pauline was first born, I nursed her every 45 minutes so I'd have been on my 3rd or 4th nursing on my way out of that office. And I probably would have removed my shirt and let the boobs just hang there - the idiots.








You thought my BFing discreetly was a problem? Well, let me show you what goes on at HOME! :LOL

My DH is a physician and I'm sickened by this. I think I'll go poke him and wake him up and yell at him for being in the same profession as these idiots.









I have one more stupid story and then I'm going to go poke DH.

I had multiple miscarriages before Pauline's arrival. Enough that I was pretty sure I'd never carry a child and completely freaked out about the whole process. I spent the first trimester with this sinking feeling of dread.

So anyway, I got a positive pregnancy test and started getting lab work, U/S, etc. done before I had an official prenatal appointment.

When I finally did get my first real appointment, the nurse said to me, "Did we give you your prenatal pack?" I said that they hadn't (And I wanted that thing BAD! It meant I had a pregnancy progress far enough along!!). And the nurse looked down at my chart and replies, "Well, no one thought you'd carry it for long."

Oh. Thanks. Like the idea of another M/C wasn't on my mind every freaking second of every freaking day.

I was so stunned I just wanted to die. And I'm a bitch! I swear it! :LOL

But DH had been lurking in the corner and the nurse didn't see him there. He strode out of that corner, got right in her face and said, "You will NOT be treating my wife in any capacity again. Get out of this room and get the doctor NOW."

She scuttled out of the room so fast she tripped on her own feet and when my doctor came in the room asking what had happened, DH explained it all and made it quite clear that that nurse was not to approach me, speak to me, see me, or treat me ever again. He reminded the other doctor that we had to have hope and maintain a positive outlook or I would M/C for sure.

My doctor agreed that her comment was inappropriate and I never saw that nurse again.

Jen


----------



## Kundalini-Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jennifer3141*
While grocery shopping one day, an older woman came up to us and even though Pauline was safely tucked into her sling, she grabbed her feet and started talking to us about our "son." I politely corrected her and explained that she was touching a GIRL and she looked at her green outfit and said, "Oh my. If you don't get her more pink clothing, she won't know if she's a boy or a girl when she gets older."

So my husband quips back that he hopes her VAGINA tips her off or else she'll have to wait until MENSTRUATION occurs.









This woman had clearly never heard anatomical terms in open public before and I wasn't quite sure she wouldn't need CPR.

And then there was the elderly woman in a restaurant who asked if Pauline was a boy or a girl and when DH answered, "A daughter!" this woman came back with, "Well, I'll pray that your next child is a boy."









Gee. Thanks. Because we just don't love the babies without penises. I should strap one on her right now to compensate.

I did get a good laugh out of DH yelling at her back that we weren't looking for a plow hand or a field worker - we were just delighted with a happy healthy CHILD.

Jen

Man, your husband rocks! I always say stuff like that in public too, like
*VAGINA, PENIS* oh, it cracks me up so much when people have never heard those terms.

Totally OT, but when I was a teen I used to use my younger brother's deoderant just to piss him off. It would piss him off b/c it was "for men". I said, "that's funny, it doesn't smell like a penis to me"


----------



## lynsage

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jennifer3141*
Personally, DH and I are not too fond of pink so our daughter is in a lot of gender neutral clothing.

While grocery shopping one day, an older woman came up to us and even though Pauline was safely tucked into her sling, she grabbed her feet and started talking to us about our "son." I politely corrected her and explained that she was touching a GIRL and she looked at her green outfit and said, "Oh my. If you don't get her more pink clothing, she won't know if she's a boy or a girl when she gets older."

So my husband quips back that he hopes her VAGINA tips her off or else she'll have to wait until MENSTRUATION occurs.









This woman had clearly never heard anatomical terms in open public before and I wasn't quite sure she wouldn't need CPR.










: we're the same way about pink. that is _so_ the line i'm going to use (and teach to the baby's dad too!) for when people say ignorant things. we don't know the baby's gender yet, but i'm due any minute now and i am starting to feel very strongly that the kidlet is a girl.

at my baby shower, we got a lot of blue things (all my baby stuff was blue too, mostly because my mom's favorite color is blue so it's been considered a gender-neutral color in my family for my whole life), and when i opened some of the adorable blue things with bugs, dinosaurs, etc. on them that my mom got me, my cousin kimberly said something ridiculous about how my mom must know that the baby is a boy to be buying all that "boy stuff". my mom coolly replied, "girls like dinosaurs too".








yay mom! we don't always agree about baby/parenting stuff, but she did good that day!

oh, i know i've already contributed a few things to this thread, but i wanted to throw in that i got the "you know what causes that?" line about pregnancy from the telephone repair man last week. for a minute i thought he was asking if i knew what caused the phone line problems and i almost said "isn't that what YOU'RE here for?" before i realized what he was talking about!

good thing i was a little sleepy and slow to reply, so my brain kicked in before my mouth opened!


----------



## Jennifer3141

I said, "that's funny, it doesn't smell like a penis to me"







[/QUOTE]

Oh my. You and my husband must never meet. Everyone would be blushing at all the scrotum, labia, and perineum talk. :LOL

Gee lynsage, you mean you've figured out what causes pregnancy? Could you fill me in? I'd like detailed diagrams too please.









Jen


----------



## Ravin

Jen, you have a detailed diagram in your sig!

Yesterday I got on the bus and this annoying person said something about Luthien referring to her as male. She was wearing a light green hoodie jacket and our Kozy is in neutral blue/black/mustard type colors. Y'know, so it coordinates w/ most of my wardrobe, which is profoundly lacking in pink.

Anyway, I corrected his gender assumption, then he goes, "Maybe it's a girl, maybe it's a boy, maybe it's both." And his friends snickered over it for several minutes.
Ugh. I ignored them from that point on.


----------



## crunchita

A mother told me "when my baby (9 months old) bites, I smack his mouth, so he will think that bite means pain".

I told her that babies bite as a natural action, they don't want to hurt!


----------



## awnja

(nak)
gee, did she use to smack you?









No one can ever tell my baby's gender either. I don't really care, and am never surprised when they ask. The funny part is how sorry they get for asking or guessing wrong. I often feel the need to reassure people, saying things like, "Its OK, the only way anyone can tell is if I dress her in pink... They all start out looking like little old men anyway... There's plenty of time to push her into her gender rolls later, I'm in no hurry... You can call her he, she doesn't seem to mind... I know, her hair's slow-growing." Anything to relax these silly people and let them know they haven't offended me.

They just seem like







they just said something awful. Then say oh, she looks like a girl, such pretty eyes, long lashes. Whatever. I've seen plenty of boys with the same. She LOOKS like a BABY! Why is it such a big deal? Isn't it just to know which pronoun to use?

julie


----------



## MelissaEvans

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jennifer3141*
But DH had been lurking in the corner and the nurse didn't see him there. He strode out of that corner, got right in her face and said, "You will NOT be treating my wife in any capacity again. Get out of this room and get the doctor NOW."

Jen,
Do you rent your DH out for other preggo mommies? He could start his own (double!) body guard service. =) It's frustrating... it feels like only another MD can push back.


----------



## RosieTook

It's been said but I'll say it again...Jen your dh rocks!!! He sounds hilarious and very protective of you and your dd....mine is also these things, but not so vocal...ah well, I'm vocal enough for both of us.


----------



## Jennifer3141

: Well Ravin, I guess I do!







: Should I email it to lynsage?









I DO have a pretty good DH. He's been my health advocate since I met hime which is pretty darn pathetic.







: This health care system sucks.

Of course I'll rent him out. But you gotta do his ironing then. And with all of his good points, the dude is a metrosexual - help me!! :LOL
He adores Pauline except when she's messy, wet, spitty, sticky, poopy, or any combination of the above. But he adores showering her. So whatever floats your boat, dear.

DH is actually more vocal than I but I tend to think of sarcastic and mean comebacks faster. If you cross us both, beware. It can get ugly, as many crazy old women neighbors have learned.









Jen


----------



## edamommy

to "squirt" him with a watergun when he was crying!?!?!


----------



## Parthenia

Quote:


Originally Posted by *vegiemom*
to "squirt" him with a watergun when he was crying!?!?!

Jeez! That's only marginally effective in getting cats off a table. What does squirting a child do? Make him cry more, or get him to stop drinking out of the toilet bowl?


----------



## Jennifer3141

Was the person who advised the use of a squirt gun on your baby on crack and perhaps unable to tell the difference between a cat and a baby?

And no, that doesn't work on cats either. You just end up with a pissed off WET cat. :LOL

Jen


----------



## shishkeberry

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jennifer3141*
And no, that doesn't work on cats either. You just end up with a pissed off WET cat. :LOL

Jen









T But that used to half work on my cat Dooby. It didn't stop him from climbing on the table in the first place, but after we sprayed him a lot eventually all you had to do was point the spray bottle at him and he would run for his life! :LOL I can't help but LMBO at a fat cat running.







:


----------



## ian'smommaya

wow this is a great thread and their have been a couple of doesies. striped peple ? come on. and cosmetic surgery for a baby. just so i am part of the group. robin your babe is gorgeous just like all babies.

the best one i had strangers tell me were
me: on the bus, pregnant
woman: who is yer baby's daddy?
me: you dont know him
her: who is he? is he my baby's daddy?
me: no i dont think so he was a virgin until i got pregnant.

this cracked me up, along the stripped ppl lines.

stranger: is your baby mixed?
me: no.
stranger: are you sure?
me: yes, but i am.
just to confuse them.

me: dad i'm pregnant
dad: oh, when are you moving to scottland?
he meant so the baby could have dual citizinship but thats not how it came out.

maya

i had a very supportive family lots of auntie who wanted me to have ian, so i did.
but strangers were so rude.


----------



## BirthingGoddesses

thank you all- for i now have a stash of planned comebacks.

2 for now:
41 weeks + 1 day with a boy- and YES its true- boys lay down straight-out flat so you look like someone parked a semi in your abs...

1. At target- {trying to take dd in dressing room} in a really "special" customer service tone... *"You're not going to have that thing {yes she said thing} in the dressing room are you? 'cause I dont want to clean up the mess...."* Are you kidding..?? That was disgusting. I wanted to sit on her lap and make my water break!

2. At the health food store- of all places... Looking at the homeopathics, the "supplements specialist" {yeah thats what I'd call her} came up to me and asked if I needed help- I said "no thanks"... and apparently I did not give her the "in" to talk to me she wanted. Her retort? *"WOW! I wouldn't want to be carrying that!...He is going to be huge! You are having a cesarean right?"* Oh my God... I wanted to punch this lady. I was unprepared for this audacity...but not this time!

I had a 11 lb. boy at home in 2.5 hours, no drugs, and no tears thank you very very much!


----------



## William's Mom

NAK&#8230;









First of all, thank you to each and every one of you who responded with your kind words to my posts and pictures about my dear son William. You have lifted me up in such a wonderful way. How nice it is to be in like-minded company.

That said, I have more things to add.









My son is 3 months old, and yesterday was my first day back at work part time. (I desperately don't want to, but financially I have no choice.) When I first got there, I was quizzed about the bag I was carrying. When I explained that it was a breast pump, that apparently opened the door for all sorts of comments&#8230; (My disclaimer: these women do mean well&#8230;but still&#8230

And the first one, I don't even fully understand. One woman told me I should "wean him to not want the breast during the hours you'll be away so your breasts won't produce milk during that time, and so you won't have to pump at work." I stood there for a second and then said, "He's far too young to wean in any fashion." (I didn't even go into the fact that we're going to do child-lead weaning anyway&#8230;that would have blown their minds.) I also said, "And the last thing I want to do in any fashion is to decrease my milk supply." (Esp after it was a struggle after delivering prematurely to build up a good supply. I take so much fenugreek that I already smell like a maple syrup factory!)

So then she said, "Well how long do you plan to do _that_?" (meaning pumping and said like it was a dirty word) I just answered honestly, "At least a year." Talk about being shocked! She walked away saying, "Well, you're more of a woman than I am!" My husband later added that I should have said, "No, I'm just more of a _mother_&#8230;"

Never mind the fact that I'm delegated to a bathroom to pump (YUCK!) but there is no other room or space, so if I want to do it, it's the only place I have. I have been considering buying an adapter and doing it in my car, but what a visual that would make to a passerby with my double pumping and continually doing the Marmet Technique&#8230;. I laugh now thinking about it! (But if anyone has any car pumping experience, I'd love to hear about it.)

Anyway, I come out of the bathroom after pumping, and I had a lot to carry and I did have the two bottles of EBM in my hand. Of course, to my coworkers, this is the equivalent of carrying live ebola virus around the room. One woman screeched, "I do not want to have to see that. It's just personal, and I shouldn't have to lay eyes on it. If you're going to do it, you need to keep it out of sight and not talk about it." Okay, so this really made me mad. I said, "I will attempt to be as discreet as possible, but this is something that I AM going to continue to do for a LONG time." She just walked away saying, "Well it's personal, and people shouldn't have to know about it."

And the last thing was when I was told that they preferred if I keep my EBM in my own fridge and not to put it in the community fridge. Well I brought my own little cooler for my milk. (It's neat. It holds 6 bottles of EBM and plugs into the wall to keep it cool.) But I was discouraged with the fact that they weren't comfortable with breast milk, when it is the perfect food. I tried to explain that the bottles would be sealed, and I also tried to explain how healthy breast milk was, but they weren't ready to listen. They just couldn't stand the thought of it being in there with the other milk that they drink. (Like they're going to make a mistake and accidentally drink my milk from a baby bottle?!?!?) So then I tried to explain that cow's milk is breastmilk also&#8230; it's just breast milk from a cow, and what I have is breast milk from a human. But any milk is essentially breast milk, just from the breasts of various mammals&#8230; because breasts were made to make milk&#8230; But no one cared or listened.

I just sighed internally and thought I don't know if there is any hope for educating these people. I am thinking about printing out some information from the AAP and WHO that lists the benefits of breastfeeding and all that. Anyone have any ideas?

Anyway, this is looong, so thanks for listening. And thanks for all the really nice responses.

(I'll probably cross-post this on the working moms and breastfeeding advocacy boards. Being a new mom and new to breastfeeding, but absolutely LOVING it, I need all the support I can get!)

And here's a new photo of my little nursling:
www.pbase.com/robin_mattingly/image/35820931

And I can't close without inviting you to see even more of William's pictures below in my auto-sig. I update my websites almost daily.

Now I'm off to vote!


----------



## Parthenia

Quote:


Originally Posted by *William's Mom*
Anyway, I come out of the bathroom after pumping, and I had a lot to carry and I did have the two bottles of EBM in my hand. Of course, to my coworkers, this is the equivalent of carrying live ebola virus around the room. One woman screeched, "I do not want to have to see that. It's just personal, and I shouldn't have to lay eyes on it. If you're going to do it, you need to keep it out of sight and not talk about it." Okay, so this really made me mad. I said, "I will attempt to be as discreet as possible, but this is something that I AM going to continue to do for a LONG time." She just walked away saying, "Well it's personal, and people shouldn't have to know about it."

I think you should show it to them every chance you get, but that's just the mean mama in me. I'm really trying hard not to laugh. Do you have pictures of naked women on your bottles or something. I'm always amazed at how out of touch people can get from their own bodies. What will they say if you have a sudden let down and start leaking???







:

So sorry to hear you have to use the bathroom. I have lucked out both pregnancies with comfortable private places to pump (and very supportive co-workers, many who've been in the same situation) Is it possible to bring something to cover your windows in the car? Personally I'd rather pump in my car than in a bathroom. You may find you're more comfortable in there and are able to get more milk.
May your coworkers discomfort become a source of amusement for you!


----------



## Ravin

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Annabelle's Wish*
: *"WOW! I wouldn't want to be carrying that!...He is going to be huge! You are having a cesarean right?"* Oh my God... I wanted to punch this lady. I was unprepared for this audacity...but not this time!

I had a 11 lb. boy at home in 2.5 hours, no drugs, and no tears thank you very very much!

I think if someone says something like that to me during my next pregnancy, I WILL punch him/her! DD was c-sect'd and I do NOT want to go through THAT again!

And congrats on your natural birth!


----------



## jaam

: Some of this stuff is hilarious. The things some people say!!! I haven't gotten any weird comments but I'll have ideas for comebacks now in case I ever do.


----------



## Mummoth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *William's Mom*
NAK&#8230;









Anyway, I come out of the bathroom after pumping, and I had a lot to carry and I did have the two bottles of EBM in my hand. Of course, to my coworkers, this is the equivalent of carrying live ebola virus around the room. One woman screeched, "I do not want to have to see that. It's just personal, and I shouldn't have to lay eyes on it. If you're going to do it, you need to keep it out of sight and not talk about it." Okay, so this really made me mad. I said, "I will attempt to be as discreet as possible, but this is something that I AM going to continue to do for a LONG time." She just walked away saying, "Well it's personal, and people shouldn't have to know about it."

And the last thing was when I was told that they preferred if I keep my EBM in my own fridge and not to put it in the community fridge. Well I brought my own little cooler for my milk. (It's neat. It holds 6 bottles of EBM and plugs into the wall to keep it cool.) But I was discouraged with the fact that they weren't comfortable with breast milk, when it is the perfect food. I tried to explain that the bottles would be sealed, and I also tried to explain how healthy breast milk was, but they weren't ready to listen. They just couldn't stand the thought of it being in there with the other milk that they drink. (Like they're going to make a mistake and accidentally drink my milk from a baby bottle?!?!?) So then I tried to explain that cow's milk is breastmilk also&#8230; it's just breast milk from a cow, and what I have is breast milk from a human. But any milk is essentially breast milk, just from the breasts of various mammals&#8230; because breasts were made to make milk&#8230; But no one cared or listened.


I'd be very tempted to tell them they've got nothing to worry about unless the bottle has a squirting attachment on it...

It sounds like the problem might be that they aren't differentiating between breastmilk & *other* bodily fluids. My sister was pretty ignorant at first, adn told me watching me breastfeeed DS was like watching me pick my nose & feed that to him.


----------



## Mama Michelle

OK, I've just about had it! If one more person tells me that my dd is SO SMALL I'm going to go postal on them. Do they really think that they are telling me something new? Yes I am aware that she is small,( she's 7 mn and looks 4) yes I am a little concerned, but she is happy, healthy and Ped says she's fine. DH and i can't go anywhere with out hearing that and we are SOOOOOO sick of it. Does anyone have a snappy comeback? I need something to shut these people up!!!!


----------



## Mama Rana

Michelle, Here are two different angles to attack them from:

1) [humorous] They say the best things come in small packages!

2) [brutal] Yes, we know. Too bad your mouth isn't.

Oh, and if it's a man maybe you could come up with some reference to the size of his package


----------



## ian'smommaya

i dont have a snappy comeback i wish i did, i hear the opposite about ian. "my he is sooo big...(realize how rude they are being)we'll your not short are you? " (laugh uncomfortanly for alittle too long.
seriously the opposite is just as bad. is anyone can come up with a comeback i could just reverse it.
hugs to you.
maya


----------



## Mummoth

I'd be tempted to make a conversation out of *their* physical appearance. I mean, if they see it as mention worthy to comment on your babies size, they probably wouldn't find anything unusual about you commenting on the blatantly obvious, either


----------



## HelloKitty

Quote:


Originally Posted by *UUCCMom*
Oh, and if it's a man maybe you could come up with some reference to the size of his package

















:







:







:

That would definetly shut him up I would think! Something like "Yes, well you know what they say - Size doesn't matter - but I'm sure you've heard that quite a bit."


----------



## cinnamonamon

Hello Kitty & UUCCMom!!


----------



## captain optimism

Quote:


Originally Posted by *William's Mom*
Anyway, I come out of the bathroom after pumping, and I had a lot to carry and I did have the two bottles of EBM in my hand. Of course, to my coworkers, this is the equivalent of carrying live ebola virus around the room. One woman screeched, "I do not want to have to see that. It's just personal, and I shouldn't have to lay eyes on it. If you're going to do it, you need to keep it out of sight and not talk about it." Okay, so this really made me mad. I said, "I will attempt to be as discreet as possible, but this is something that I AM going to continue to do for a LONG time." She just walked away saying, "Well it's personal, and people shouldn't have to know about it."

Wow, what a jerk.

I think you should keep a chart on the wall of your cubicle with your daily pumping yields, and when you see her, invite her over to see it.


----------



## artgoddess

My grandmother may be in her 80's but she tries to keep up to date with the times. She's even come to accept that my boyfriend and I have a the perfect life and family without getting married.

When talking about nursing my son on the phone one day with her, she said, "Ah yeah, that's the new way thier doing now, when your dad was a baby everyone used the bottle." I was glad we were on the phone so she couldn't see my face. I was laughing at the breastfeeding being the "new way of doing things". At least she was trying to understand.

Some other beauties I heard from grandma.....

Through my whole pregnancy she kept telling me she only gained 10 lbs hen pregnent with my dad, and he was a healthy 7 plus pounds. She came home from the hospital weighing less than she did before she got pregnant, and with all her children (she had six) she never gained more than 15 lbs. Well I gained 60 and everyone did fine.

When she heard I was having a natural childbirth, she talked to me about how she had Bobby (my uncle) natural. The doctor let HER control the ether mask and she would wait as long as she could deal with the pain, and then when it got to bad she was in control of how much she got by putting the mask on her own face. She was "awake" for most of her labor, until the end. I figured out my grandma equated being awake for the delivery as having a natural birth.


----------



## artgoddess

Haa haaa.

Ds is only 9 months. At 2 or 3 months the "how long do you plan to breastfeed?" question kept popping up in conversation. I couldn't believe that people were rushing him. My standard answer then and now has become:

"Well it all depends.... If he goes away for college or stays home."


----------



## artgoddess

Oooh, one more...

I go to a new mother's support group at the local hopspital. I'm the only attachment parent there, but they are in general a "whatever works for you is fine with us." kind of group, I don't hide that we co-sleep, I show up with DS in my Maya wrap and they all have their strollers etc...

So when the question went around the group of "When SHOULD the babes be sleeping through the night?" I volunteered my 9 month old still doesn't sleep through the night per-say. He will wake and nurse a couple times through out the the night. But he doesn't ever cry or fuss either, often doesn't open his eyes while rooting around for me. He ususally nurses back to sleep within 3 or 4 minutes, and my Boyfriend swears that there are times when niether myself or ds wake up for these middle of the night feedings.

Upon hearing this another mother told me that the reason DS wasn't sleeping through the night was because he was in the bed with us. If I had him in a crib in his room I wouldn't be able to hear him cry and he'd sleep better.....huh? Who's sleep is she concerned about my sons or mine?


----------



## artgoddess

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shenjall*
My EX pediatrician said that I was doing psychological damage to my 2 yr old by still nursing. Riiiiiight. I'll just file that peice of info under "C" for CRAP!


I've been reading these and it lets me know how lucky we are to have our Ped. He had three pieces of advice for us when we went for the first time:
-Nothing but breastmilk for the first six months.
-Read to him everyday.
-Don't listen to your mother.

You got to love that.


----------



## vancouverlori

I finally have another one...

We've been going through hand, foot and mouth disease hell, with DS (now 15 mos) not nursing for a couple of days. I'm talking to my ex-SIL, who has a baby a week older than DS. She is still BF'ing her, but I think it really really grosses her out - the whole nursing toddler thing. So she says "Oh, that's great, then you can wean him!"







Um, NO! Do you not get it that this is my biggest problem right now? Sheesh.

BTW - we're back to nursing again









-Lori


----------



## Victorian

Oh Lorie - I can sympathize with you big time. My ds has not nursed since last monday! He is 16 months. Hand-Foot-Mouth here too. How did you get DS to nurse again? My DS is just refusing even in his sleep.


----------



## Mummoth

Victorian... you might want to do a search on hand foot mouth... I'm certain I just read something about it here... licorice tea helps, maybe?


----------



## User101

Fun thread!
My favorites:

Is he a good baby?
Well, he hasn't knocked over a liquor store yet....

(When Babe is in the sling) Aren't you afraid he can't breathe in there?
Well, he's our third, so if something happens we still have the other two.

(About colic-y DD) Is she a good baby?
Honestly? No. She sucks. She screams every night for five hours, will not comfort nurse, isn't cuddly, and frankly, she doesn't seem to like us very much. Should we keep her?

Doesn't it (breastfeeding) hurt when they have teeth?
Weeellllll... you don't suck with your teeth, you know....

My favorite comment (not dumb, just funny) was from my dad. He said
"No wonder he's so happy- he always has a boob in his mouth!"

Annette


----------



## guerrillamama

i haven't read all 39 pages of course, but what i've read makes me









here are a few of mine:

* When I was pregnant I was having lunch w/ my friends the day I got my ultrasound photo. So I was passing it around the table and one friend was like "EXCUSE ME, people are trying to eat here!"









* "He's such a good baby." We get this like daily







. What do you say? "Yeah, I'm so glad I didn't get one of those BAD babies."
















* "You know you can't carry him around forever."







OMG, I never thought of that!









* "Oh he is all boy!"







I don't understand this. What does it mean? Sometimes I say "no, actually he's 64% boy, 22% girl, and I'm not sure yet about the rest."

* Once we were at a museum and an old lady walked up and said, "oh he's all boy, no one could ever mistake this one for a girl." 5 minutes later, I kid you not, another lady walked up and complimented me on my beautiful little girl!







:

On the subject of food...

* When ds was 3 or 4 months old a woman on the bus told me I should have started feeding him mashed up CHICKEN at 2 months!! And then started yelling at me when I told her he wasn't eating any solids yet!

* Why do people try to feed grapes and hard candy to a 4-5 month old?

* When ds was about 6 mo I explained to my stepmother all the things that I wouldn't be introducing until later, including wheat, nuts and honey. She nodded and said it made sense and she wished she'd known all that when her kids were babies. Then dessert arrived (we were at a Middle Eastern restaurant) and she tried to feed him BAKLAVA!

* "So do you have to nurse on both sides?"









On the subject of abortion....

* When I was pregnant my (conservative, church-going) stepmother informed me that if I was HER daughter she would have dragged me to the hospital by now. I said, "Fortunately for YOU I'm not your daughter."

* Trying to convince me to get an abortion, here was one of her arguments:
Her: "What will your baby WEAR?"
Me:







"Um...Clothes..."
Her: "But how will you afford clothes?"
Me: "Um... I guess I'll buy them secondhand. And I'll probably get some hand-me-downs."
Her: (aghast) "You're going to dress your baby in used clothes!? Is that how your mother raised you?"
Me: "Yes."

* Several people in my family reported amazement at the fact that I was having my baby. "But I thought you were pro-choice!" Yes... what part of the word CHOICE is confusing you?

* Several total strangers felt free to tell me "I'm so glad you made the right decision." Excuse me? You don't know dookie about me or my decision!


----------



## guerrillamama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HomebirthHarriett*
Anyway, I come out of the bathroom after pumping, and I had a lot to carry and I did have the two bottles of EBM in my hand. Of course, to my coworkers, this is the equivalent of carrying live ebola virus around the room. One woman screeched, "I do not want to have to see that. It's just personal, and I shouldn't have to lay eyes on it. If you're going to do it, you need to keep it out of sight and not talk about it." Okay, so this really made me mad. I said, "I will attempt to be as discreet as possible, but this is something that I AM going to continue to do for a LONG time." She just walked away saying, "Well it's personal, and people shouldn't have to know about it."

Nobody was ever that blatant, but I often saw people give me dirty looks or avert their eyes when I brought my milk into the lunchroom to put it in the fridge.

One time I was sterilizing my pump parts in the microwave in the lunchroom, and when I took them out one guy gets all excited and says "Wow! What is that?" I give him a strange look and say, "the attachments for my breast pump." The 5 or 6 other women in the room busted up laughing and the guy turned bright red and ran out of there.... He told me later he thought it was some new cooking technique!

Another time I was waiting in line for the microwave w/ my little sterilizer bag of pump parts and a woman peers at it curiously and says "huh, so you just put the chicken in there w/ some water?" She had glanced at the bag and seen the word "breast" and assumed it was a way to cook chicken!


----------



## artgoddess

Okay one more from when I was pregnant...

One of my friends (who has no children) really thought it was important for me to remember to shave my legs before I went into the hospital to deliver, because if I didn't the nurses would make fun of me.

She mentioned this a few times through out my pregnancy and I never had the nerve to ask her where she heard such a crazy thing. She was really sincere and believed that she was helping me; I thought she would be insulted and realize I was laughing at her on the inside.


----------



## vancouverlori

: Oh, boy, lots of good ones (mmmm... chicken a la breast pump!!!)

about the leg shaving:
when my mom was in labour with my little sister, for some reason the neighbour's kid was over. So my mom was reading us a story and would stop every time she had a contraction. So the other kid kept saying "Keep Reading!" and getting mad, to which my not-quite-4-year-old self would reply "You be quiet, my mommy's having a pain". Of course after that kid went home, my mom absolutely had to shave her legs, but she couldn't reach, so she made my dad do it. Needless to say, my sister was born about 8 minutes after they arrived at the hospital! My mom is the type that never goes anywhere without shaving.

And when I was pregnant with my first, I was so self-conscious about having my pubic area exposed, that I adapted a pair of underwear to have side snaps so they could be easily removed when needed. Of course once I went into labour that ceased to be an issue so they never got worn!







I did feel bad about my water breaking on my sister's socks, though!
-Lori


----------



## guerrillamama

wow, the leg shaving thing is way beyond me.... i was sitting in a pool of blood butt naked from the waist down w/ some HAIRYass legs, surrounded by 6 paramedics i'd never seen before in my life, and i was not wondering what they were thinking about me.

on the other hand, one of the reasons this happened on the dining room floor was b/c I insisted on answering all my emails and doing the laundry before heading out to the hospital... so i'm not so different from your mom. :LOL


----------



## girlndocs

This thread

is living proof

that human stupidity is without limits.


----------



## LongLiveLife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ian'smommaya*
i dont have a snappy comeback i wish i did, i hear the opposite about ian. "my he is sooo big...(realize how rude they are being)we'll your not short are you? " (laugh uncomfortanly for alittle too long.
seriously the opposite is just as bad....

I'm pretty sure people think they're flattering you when they say how big your baby is. To most people, a big baby is a healthy, nourished baby. I used to be sensitive when people would tell me how fat my first DD was... but I realized that most people (especially sweet old ladies) love fat babies, and that it was no different from them saying "What big beautiful brown eyes she has" or, "Look at those little dimples!"

My second DD is slimmer, but she has even bigger cheeks than her chubby sister did. I don't mind at all when people remark on them, because most people, including me, think chipmonk cheeks are adorable on a baby, so I know they mean well.

And as a mom who makes big kiddos, I would always marvel at the tiny, delicate little girls I would see out and about. I hope I didn't hurt anyone's feelings by commenting about their size. I don't think I could ever be offended by someone saying how petite or chubby my child was... unless they made it sound like it was a problem.


----------



## LongLiveLife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *artgoddess*
another mother told me that the reason DS wasn't sleeping through the night was because he was in the bed with us. If I had him in a crib in his room I wouldn't be able to hear him cry and he'd sleep better.....huh? Who's sleep is she concerned about my sons or mine?


Oooooh, I get it. It's like the tree falling in the forrest when nobody's around...
if you don't hear him cry, he's sleeping through the night.
Sounds like she lives in a very magical place!!!


----------



## Mummoth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LongLiveLife*
Oooooh, I get it. It's like the tree falling in the forrest when nobody's around...
if you don't hear him cry, he's sleeping through the night.
Sounds like she lives in a very magical place!!!









**giggle**

About the big baby thing, that never offended me (DS was 20 pounds by 5 months & DD was by 4 months) but I think I offended a few people with my reply "Yep, he's tall like his dad & wide like his mom!" With DD I don't care what they say, as long as it's not about her excema.


----------



## artgoddess

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LongLiveLife*
Oooooh, I get it. It's like the tree falling in the forrest when nobody's around...
if you don't hear him cry, he's sleeping through the night.
Sounds like she lives in a very magical place!!!









Haaaaa haaaaaa, I wish I had thought of that as a retort when it happened!


----------



## cinnamonamon

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LongLiveLife*
Oooooh, I get it. It's like the tree falling in the forrest when nobody's around...
if you don't hear him cry, he's sleeping through the night.
Sounds like she lives in a very magical place!!!

















:LOL







:

Laughter keeps us sane, right?


----------



## guestmama9915

I've got some new ones! So, my sister's DD is 3 months older than mine, but was 2 months premature, and is the same size, etc. Anyway, she feeds her DD total JUNK - pizza, fast food, ice cream. While I was over there visiting, she kept urging me to feed my DD all this crap, and I kept just saying no, not really making a fuss (she gets REALLY defensive, that's another story...) Finally I explained to her that DD only eats a few fruits and veggies and is still mostly BF'd, so she holds up her hamburger and says, "Well, there's veggies in this."

She's constantly saying stupid things. It really bugs me. She says her DD "whines" all the time, and when my DD made a little noise she says, "Oh, yours does, too!" (Hers is 10mo and mine is 7mo btw) She says that HER DD can fall asleep alone and plays quietly for hours on end, and gives me pitying looks when I quickly sweep up my gorgeous gal when she wants some snugglin'. But she's been complaining that lately her DD wants to be held all the time - uhh, yeah, she's a baby!

Another sister who has no kids came into town not long ago. She asked if I was still breastfeeding. Yup! She asked how long I was planning to. I said, "I dunno, 2 or 3 years?" She giggled and said, "No, seriously."

Yet ANOTHER sister (I have 3!), this one younger than me, came for a visit, too. I decided to breastfeed in the same room with her, even though I'm pretty uncomfortable w/ it, even with my family. Anyway, when DD was done eating, she sat up and had a little milk on her face. My sister shrieks! "OH YUCK! What is that?" Oh well, she's only 18?


----------



## boingo82

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Keja*
... Anyway, she feeds her DD total JUNK - pizza, fast food, ice cream....

Hers is 10mo and mine is 7mo btw) ...

OMG. Is she insane? I can't IMAGINE my nearly-7-mo's DS eating anything but BM and pureed veggies/fruits.


----------



## Jennifer3141

So I'm nursing Pauline at BABIES R US of all places yesterday and this woman comes up to us and says, "Hmmm... that baby is rather skinny. Maybe you're keeping all the fat?"

Pauline is a tall, skinnny baby. She's 14 pounds, 6 ounces and 27 inches long at 6 months.

And I am still 20 pounds overweight. Yep. You know what? I'm the Queen of Boobies right now. I have other thing on my mind.

And this idiot was a good 50 pounds overweight. So I asked her if she was nursing THREE based upon that premise. Darned if she didn't just wander away...

Jen


----------



## OwensMa

Quote:

And this idiot was a good 50 pounds overweight. So I asked her if she was nursing THREE based upon that premise. Darned if she didn't just wander away...
nak-

lol, nice one


----------



## pjlioness

My MIL once accused me of using the sling w/ds#1 so she couldn't parade him around to show him off in a stroller. (Correctly assuming that because he was used to the sling, he would refuse a stroller.)

They were quite pleased when we registered for a Maclaren Volo when expecting ds #2. The bought it for us and were smug the first time they saw us using it (ds#1 was in it when we met them at a mall). Their smugness evaporated somewhat when they found out that we were only using it for ds#1 (it's for 6mo.+) and only when we were going somewhere that took lots of walking such that ds#1 might prefer to ride.
















Pam


----------



## girlndocs

Oh, I finally have something to contribute besides my little haiku thing up there!









So I'm at Target (hissssssssss). The cashier looks at dd in the sling and says, "That's the first quiet baby I've seen all night!"

I smile & say proudly, "Well, she's being snuggled."

"What?" (Blank look.)

"She's being _snuggled_."

"Oh," says the cashier quizzically. "Does that keep them quiet or something?"








My turn for the blank look ...


----------



## Marlet

OMG this post is hilarious!!!!!!

Mine isn't that bad but it bugs me....

I was about 8 weeks along when we were on our honeymoon and we had stopped at my dads house. He asks me. "Can you still see your feet?" I tell him yes and he says, ' Give it a few months and then tell me that!".









Let's see...what else?

I got the how far along are you question today so I said 14 weeks and the girl so how far along is that? The girl is in college for NURSING (pediatric nursing)!!!!

I've gotten (from my mom) why don't you have it in the hospital, I think you should, besides how do I get to see if you have it at home? (I'm not a side show!!!!)

My sister in law had a baby with cleft pallate/lip and it was not a happy baby. Everytime he cried my SIL would fix it a bottle (they had a really hard time bfing cause of the extent of damage in his mouth....kudos to her for trying though!). Afterward they would lie him back down. He just wanted held! I walked in one time when my mom was watching him and he was in his swing in the other room just screaming. I mean hollering bloody murder so I walked in to make sure he wasn't squished funny and what not and he has been screaming so long his face is purple! I picked him up and in a matter of minutes he stopped crying! That baby wanted held so much cause no one would do it. My mom actually said after I told them what color his face was that he was fine...babies need to cry! I was irate! No one had checked on him long enough to let his little face get purple. It was sad.

When my stepmom found out we were having a homebirth she said to me, "You know it hurts like hell right?" I said yes and she laughed and said, "You know it really hurts and doing it at home means you have no pain killer." I said I know....that's why I was fine with it....she just kept telling me it hurts and I would want an epidural.

I've been told not to eat sweets cause the baby will be diabetic, not to lay on my stomach (even before I get a belly) cause it will break the baby's bones, and not to jump to hard.


----------



## Marlet

Hahaha just got another one! I was talking to a friend of mine about homebirthing and he asks if we are considering it so I say no we are doing it. His reply? "good way to save money for sure...it's a lot to do it in the hospital."

Hahahahaha! Yeah that's why we are doing it!


----------



## boingo82

This isn't about parenting specifically but I think it's dumb enough to go in this thread...

My DH's friends were visiting us today from rural Utah. We went to Costco with them to look for a coat for their 12-month old, and didn't find one. So outside the door of Costco, the DH, Jim, asks where else in town would be a good place to buy a coat...

ME: "Uhh...Target probably has some, and TJ Maxx.."
JIM: (Looks at wife Crishell) "Oh we don't GO to Target.."
ME:














"Why's that?"
JIM: "You know, they're owned by the FRENCH."
ME: "Uh...no they're not."
JIM: "YES they are~and you know they support the gays and lesbians too."








ME: (Polite smile) "Well all the more reason to shop there then."








JIM: "So did you guys wanna come with us to WalMart or what?"

So there you have it. Yes, I thought I'd never see the day where someone chooses WALMART over TARGET because they like WALMART's politics better.







And shame on me for working for a company that (god forbid) gives health insurance to domestic partners (Gannett inc). Don't they know they're supporting the GAYS?























(Oh, and when we got in the car, my DH said he was proud of me. Whether it was for saying something, or for keeping my composure, I don't know.)


----------



## aamilotte

I was told my son was going to be a boob man since I was breast feeding him. So what are the bottle fed boys going to be and what does that make a girl?

Anisa Beddow
breast feeding
cloth diapering
baby food making
AP momma


----------



## User101

Last night at a church supper, a parishoner looked at my me and exclaimed, "Wow. Your kids are all really SHORT!" Later she expressed shock that we were planning on having more and actually said, "I'm not sure which one of my kids I would have given up, but I sure wish I hadn't had so many."

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Annette


----------



## Parthenia

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aamilotte*
I was told my son was going to be a boob man since I was breast feeding him.

And what's so bad about being a boob man? As the wife of a boob man (and yes he was bf), and mom of a daughter who nursed until she was almost 4, I am surrounded by love, and everyone in the house ('cept the dog!) sings the praises of my breasts. No complaints here!


----------



## ian'smommaya

that's terrible annette, did she at least say it out of earshot of her children (and yours)? i wont say dear in her case.
maybe she was joking? sometimes ppl open mouth, instert foot when they are trying to kid around, if not how ugly.
maya


----------



## User101

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ian'smommaya*
that's terrible annette, did she at least say it out of earshot of her children (and yours)? i wont say dear in her case.
maybe she was joking? sometimes ppl open mouth, instert foot when they are trying to kid around, if not how ugly.
maya

Nope- she was completely serious and said it right at the table. Her kids are all grown. When she said ours were short, dh looked at her and said "Thank you!"z with a big smile. She looked sort of confused.
This morning we were talking about it and dh said he sometimes thinks the church is a big repository for the weird. He's the pastor, so it's OK if he says that (I think!)
Annette


----------



## magemom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Debbiemom*
She also informed that "those women" from La Leche League were "fanatics." I pulled out my membership card and said "Look mom! I'm a card-carrying fanatic!"


I absolutely love this!!!


----------



## magemom

Our 5th baby is so wonderful. We love him dearly. Right now DD is playing with him. We never set out to have 5 children, but they are our world. I can't imagine life with out them.

My daughter is usually mistaken for my sister, or I am mistaken for her sister....she thinks it is funny. I get comments about how I don't look old enough to have a teenager, and I answer "I'm not" that usually leaves them







(I look younger than I am and was a teen mom)

We get lots of comments about the number of children.
Yes, they are all ours.
No, this IS our first marraige. (some think his, hers, ours)
Yes I know what causes this. (and we like it)
No, I do not want a a referral to your urologist.

"Did you plan to have 5?" No, we planned to have 1.

"Are you done?" We were done with one. (dd thinks this is a riot)

Tonight I ran into DH's boss and wife at the store. Boss asks if DH is around and I said no, I was out by myself. Introduces his wife (whom I met) and she acts surprised I am up and about with a 2 month old. I said I was used to it. Then she says, "You have 4 or 5, right?" Yes. "Better you than me" and I said, YES!!









I came home and told DH what I did (are you still employed honey







) and he answered the same way!!!








I don't like those folks too much anyway. They seemed to think it appropriate to comment on the number of kids in a bad way on the congrats card signed by the floor.









But, the saddest thing I ever was told was by my mother. She said not to look at DD while nursing so she won't expect it and refuse to nurse with out seeing my eyes. I was shocked and saddened to think I wasn't allowed to watch this perfect little person eat. And I have to say I was pretty pleased with myself and wanted to see my breasts in action as well.


----------



## Aura_Kitten

Quote:

She said not to look at DD while nursing so she won't expect it


----------



## Wildcrafter

I'm sure the mention of "terrible twos" has been seen in this thread and heard by many. It really irks me when people say it right in front of their (or my) children.

Anyway, we were out to eat last night and my 2 1/2 year old son was charming the neighboring table. It was an older couple and the lady, when they got up to leave, said she had a young grandson and asked me how old my son was. When I told her she said, "Oh the terrible twos!" and I said, "Oh no, he's wonderful!" and at that moment ds grabbed my shirt sleeve and wiped his pasta sauce face all over it and then slid out of his seat and ran down the hall toward the bathrooms, in his socks!! It really was funny. As I got up to chase I said, "well, I AM terribly busy!" We all had a good laugh at that one.

It's the first time I was able to use humor in responding to a dumb comment and it felt quite good, much better than when I get angry and can't verbalize worth doodly squat.

So glad this thread lives on.


----------



## April 2007

I know the good baby/bad baby thing has been said many times before in this thread. However I just had to mention mine.

A couple weeks ago I was chatting with a friend I haven't spoken to in about 6 months. He said he now has a nephew who is baout 4 months old. He proceeded to tell me that he is a very good baby. I told him I never knew there was such a thing as a bad baby, to which he replied, "well you know like babies who cry a lot".


----------



## MelissaEvans

I've received advice to put DS in the nursery at church and just get some earplugs so I can get out because teaching the child that church = abandomnent is such a good idea (my observation, not their words). =(
Then when I mentioned my distaste for that idea to another mom, she tells me "You'll feel differnet with the second one." =( =( Because, you know, you don't love the second child as much.
My mom has all sorts. Today, at lunch she was bragging about her parenting and how people *always* (translation: twice in her life) have asked "how do you get your kids to behave?" and her response is "respect and teach by example..." and a bunch of other AP sounding ideas. Yeah, those are the answers I would use; but they are *so* far from what she did. As proven later this afternoon. She was telling me about some TV program where a child threw a full-blown temper tantrum. My brother asked her what she would do if one of us had have done that. "Laugh at you. And if you kept it up, I'd throw cold water on you."







"It wouldn't hurt, it's just for the shock value." Because that would be so respectful and set such a wonderful example... I just couldn't say anything. We do not now and will not in the future see eye-to-eye on parenting philosophies. I'm rather glad to be moving 4 states away. =)


----------



## Ravin

Wow, I'm so lucky to have the mom I have. I mean, she wasn't perfect, but when I had to fill out a form earlier this month evaluating her parenting (she and her hubby are applying to be foster parents), I gave her a glowing recommendation, one which is well-deserved.

I know what you mean about the terrible two's. My poor sisters were frequently the subjects of cracks about being "the terrible twos" forever because they're twins. Mostly it was one of my favorite expressions as a teenager.

I love this thread! It's provided me w/ hours of entertainment! Keep them coming!!!


----------



## yvonnemlv

Quote:


Originally Posted by *C99*
Gee, thanks. I also got sick of the negative planned epidural comments -- mostly from my mother, but from other people as well. Oh -- and the "What are you having?" questions. Ummm, we're having a baby. We didn't find out on the U/S.









I always answered "Why, I believe we're having KITTENS! But I could have seen wrongly, may also be a human baby."


----------



## yvonnemlv

Quote:


Originally Posted by *crayon*
Then from EVERYONE! I heard how glad they were that my UC ended in a hospital birth- No one said, "god Ang, I know how hard you tried to birth your baby out of a nasty disease infested hospital, I wish it would have worked out different!" Okay maybe not those words- but it would have been nice if someone (in my family) would have said I understand and I am sorry you lost your birth to the hospital!"


Hiya Crayon..

I'll say it. I am So Sorry that your UC turned to a hospital birth. It sucks! (Been there, done that... *siiigh*) I hope your next one is the beautiful UC you have been waiting for! I am looking forward to getting preggers again and having my UC. Oops, Guess I'm not in your family, heheh.


----------



## TerriKay

We have been using cloth diapers on ds who is now 3-mths old. When he was about 1-mth old, a co-worker of my dh asked him if I had just put a cloth diaper on ds before I went to visit them at the office just to prove to her that I was still using cloth!! Yeah, I go out of my way to switch from sposies to cloth EVERY time I go to his office just to prove a point to that old bag!! She also has a comment for dh almost every day about how we take care of ds. Dh & ds press their heads up against each other when they are playing and growl at each other. She told dh the other day that he needs to stop growling at ds because he will never learn to speak English!! Ds is 3 months old, he doesn't say anything that even remotely sounds like English yet. Besides, he is a boy and they are supposed to growl!!


----------



## User101

OK, your cloth story reminded me of one. When Katie Grace was still in dipes, she was in the church nursery one Sunday. When I came up, her cloth diaper was sitting right in the middle of the table. The nursery worker said to me, "I didn't know if I should throw it out or not." Um.... NO! That would be the whooooooole point of cloth diapers!
Annette


----------



## awnja

dd was a growler at three months too! everyone growled back... guess that's why at seven months she's not talking yet?









I went to a big gathering the other weekend where a lot of dear baby lovers with no babies were. They all made faces, funny noises, ect at dd all weekend. So many people were in her face that I got tired of holding her because there was no peace. When she'd fuss, they'd all gather around and increase the weirdness. I finally blocked off a section of the room (we were all in a one-room building) put her on the floor and made everyone leave her alone... she was so happy! The baby lovers were so funny, they watched the cooing, wiggling baby like buzzards watch a dying animal... just waiting for permission to go play again. The next day I was smart enough to wear the sling-- so much better! The people were so sweet, but needless to say, dd has a nasty cold now!

Got me thinking about my pre-mommy days.
There were some there who say the things I used to say before becoming a mom.. like, I'll breastfeed and always respond to baby's cries, but my kid will sleep in his/her own bed. heheheh... I was that dumb...

I also, a long time ago, used to say of breastfeeding, "If they can ask for it, their too old." They ask for it right away! Duh, Julie. At least I didn't cast judgemental looks or get weirded out when others nursed their toddlers, so I guess I could have been worse.

julie


----------



## ashleep

Quote:

When my stepmom found out we were having a homebirth she said to me, "You know it hurts like hell right?" I said yes and she laughed and said, "You know it really hurts and doing it at home means you have no pain killer." I said I know....that's why I was fine with it....she just kept telling me it hurts and I would want an epidural.
I cannot tell you how much I heard this! Ah, but the satisfaction of walking up to them holding my healthy home-water-birthed-with-NO-drugs-baby with a big 'oh yeah, what was that you were saying?' look on my face...









NAK

and now when people hear that dd was born at home in water, 'was that on purpose?'.
nope, i was taking a bath and then out of nowhere-bam! there's a baby in the tub!


----------



## MamaPear

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Parthenia*
Jeez! That's only marginally effective in getting cats off a table. What does squirting a child do? Make him cry more, or get him to stop drinking out of the toilet bowl?


----------



## shishkeberry

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ashleepurdie*
nope, i was taking a bath and then out of nowhere-bam! there's a baby in the tub!


----------



## Victorian

I had a friend in HS whose brother was born in the toilet! Her mother thought she was constipated and pushed him out! (AS you can imagine we called him a piece of...)

V.


----------



## NightOwl

My grandmother recently tried to tell me not to breastfeed because it's "unnatural." lol!!!


----------



## boingo82

Quote:


Originally Posted by *awnja*
I also, a long time ago, used to say of breastfeeding, "If they can ask for it, their too old." They ask for it right away! Duh, Julie. At least I didn't cast judgemental looks or get weirded out when others nursed their toddlers, so I guess I could have been worse.

I always hear people say that when the baby can crawl (or walk) up, lift the shirt, and hook himself up, he's too old....well, in that case I guess we can only BF to 7 months.







DS' favorite game is to crawl over and help himself.


----------



## artgoddess

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NightOwl*
My grandmother recently tried to tell me not to breastfeed because it's "unnatural." lol!!!

Does she know my gradma? Mine said of my breastfeeding, "oh yeah, that's the new way the mothers are doing it now. Back when I was having babies, the old way was the bottle." (by bottle she means formula.) I had to bite my tounge and not tell her that breastfeeding was really the "old way".


----------



## spsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sevenkids*
My kids have big heads. All of them. Not balloon heads, just bigger than usual. Their dad has a big head, so they get it from him. (Not _my_ side of the family!LOL!) I took my youngest to the pediatrician, but my pedi was away, so we saw his partner. By this time, ds was already sitting up and crawling, so I sat him on the table and the doc began to exam him, measure him, etc. When he took his head circumference, he gasped, "His head is too big! We need to follow-up on this!" I was for a minute, like "Oh, my G-d! What's wrong with my baby!......."


ds's regular ped was on maternity leave when i took him in for 15 mo check up. same thing she freaked about the size of his head and wanted me back the next week to check it again. (ds's cousin also had a big head, reminds us of charlie brown, i know not nice)

i, too, initially thought oh my g'd, what's wrong with my baby. i humored her and brought ds back the next week but it was a different ped on rotation that day. i told her why we were there, she just raised an eyebrow and asked if we had to pay for this visit! and of course, he's perfectly fine!


----------



## Einhorn

I was on vacation earlier this fall with my Mom and Sister (and DS of course!) and the whole "Good Baby" thing came up. I got frustrated and told my Mom that there weren't "good" and "bad" babies, there were just babies! After she got done being hurt, she finally explained that when whe was having us there weren't "easy babies" and "fussy babies" just "good babies" and "colicky babies" -- and that I was finally a "good baby" after they figured out I was allergic to cow's milk.

So especially those older folks always asking about "is he a good baby" really probably mean is he an easy baby, not a fussy/high-needs baby. Even if we tend to think that the opposite of "good" is "bad" that's not what they're thinking at all.

I then explained to my mom about some of the child-care books that were out there now that explained how babies were "bad" and "manipulative" and that you had to "teach them not to do that" by ignoring them and punishing them -- I'm not sure she believed me until a few days later we were at a zoo, and there was a little boy crying in a stroller, which upset DS -- so I told DS that he probably just needed some hugs, and my Mom chimed in that see, he's going to get them as the boy's mom picked him up, then proceded to hold him facing away from her with no comforting, and just started to push the stroller off. (I'm not critizing her, for all I know her DS doesn't like to be cuddled or was over stimulated, but it sure made my Mom think!)


----------



## Mama Michelle

Just the other day, I was talking to my mother on the phone and trying to put a diaper back on dd. My mother must have heard the trouble I was having and told me to spank dd and hold her down and tell her "NO".
I told my mom that I was NOT going to hit my child, to which she said spanking isn't hitting.







.
There are so many things wrong with what she said to me it makes my head hurt. First, hitting is wrong, second I am not going to forceable hold down my 8 month old. The no thing well we do that A LOT!
I can't understand what goes through my mom's head, it's probably better that I don't even try.


----------



## lacysmommy

My mom and MIL are generally really supportive of my parenting choices, since they both bf and coslept themselves. While I was pregnant, I said to my mother that I didn't want to have an enima (and since I was having a homebirth, I wouldn't get one, anyway). She said, "Trust me, you'll want one!" Apparently she pushed out some poo once when she didn't have an enima. I did, too, but it wasn't a big deal, and I didn't find out until I asked DH. As for my MIL... she said that my DD is allergic to cloth diapers because her daddy was, and she has a rash that we've been fighting for almost 2 months. No, she's not allergic to the diapers, we just have to figure out what we're doing wrong with the washing. I've been using very little powder detergent and no extra rinses, and that seems to be doing the trick.

A woman from church told me that her DC was allergic to her milk and she had to use formula. I said to her that we were having problems, too, until I gave up dairy. I didn't want to be rude about how I answered something like that because she nursed all her other DC.

I get asked all the time if she is sleeping through the night yet. I always say, "I'm not sure. I never wake up for it." Which people interpret as, "oh so Dave gets up at night to feed the baby?" I respond with, "No, she sleeps in our bed and knows how to find the boob herself!" Both DH and I have observed her going for the boob by herself, and I will usually say that I have seen her do it and it is so cute!

I "promised" a coworker that I would at least tour a hospital before I had the baby. I did, but it was with my homebirthing class. It made me more afraid of the hospital!

When people would say, "you'll want an epidural!" I would respond, "I had one when I had surgery, and it didn't work. It is the most terrible experience of my life. I am terrified of epidurals and will never have another one if I can help it. That usually shuts them up!


----------



## sprinkle pocket

my mil is an extremely conservative woman who i'm not close with AT ALL, and who seems to figure that if she acts like a "good girl" and says things politely/with a smile, then she can say anything she wants (raised with very southern manners). when we told il's we were pregnant, we told them we weren't sharing a due date (b/c there's such a large range of when a normal labor starts and we didn't want to get attached to any particular date/have lots of calls on the "due date"). we also don't want to hear all her worries, but didn't tell her that. so this very proper southern woman gets me on the phone and when i too won't tell her a "due date", she says, "well when was your last period?"
like i'm going to tell her that? and just hearing her say the word "period", esp. in a question to me, seemed so out of character for her, she must've really been in a tizzy to take it to that level!


----------



## Ellp

Wow, it took me 2 days to get to this point in the thread... my eyes are just watering, but I just had to share this and get it off my chest.

Back in Oct. DH and I decided to hire a gardener to trim the bushes beside our driveway and at the back of the house. We contacted 3 gardeners to get quotes and I was to show them around and tell them what we wanted done.

Well one of the gardeners was really negative about what I had wanted done and kept on saying that "nope, can't do that", "nope, you don't want that done", well I had just about made up my mind that I was NOT going to hire this guy, especially since the other 2 gardeners were quite reasonable. Anyways what really clinched it for me was when at the end of the interview this guy points at my belly and says "You're pregnant, right?" (As if he couldn't tell), then after asking if it was my first, (it was), he said "Well, you can name him after me, and that can be your deposit!"









I was too polite and quite frankly too shocked to say anything other than "oh yeah", like I was humouring him. But what a personal thing to say to a person that you just met! I showed him the door and needless to say we didn't hire him.
He even had the audacity to call later to to ask why not! I'm sad to say that I was just too polite to really give it to him...


----------



## pjlioness

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ellp*
Well one of the gardeners was really negative about what I had wanted done and kept on saying that "nope, can't do that", "*nope, you don't want that done*", well I had just about made up my mind that I was NOT going to hire this guy, especially since the other 2 gardeners were quite reasonable. Anyways what really clinched it for me was when at the end of the interview this guy points at my belly and says "You're pregnant, right?" (As if he couldn't tell), then after asking if it was my first, (it was), he said "*Well, you can name him after me, and that can be your deposit*!"









I was too polite and quite frankly too shocked to say anything other than "oh yeah", like I was humouring him. But what a personal thing to say to a person that you just met! I showed him the door and needless to say we didn't hire him.
He even had the audacity to call later to to ask why not! I'm sad to say that I was just too polite to really give it to him...









:
























Sounds like a bit of a chauvanist! It's very annoying when male service personnel don't take us seriously.


----------



## Phoebe

Oh what a great thread. I finally had to add something...

1. My mom told me that when my older brother was born my grandmother told her that she shouldn't hold him too much 'cause babies get sore! :LOL

2. My MIL keeps asking if ds can have certain foods. He hasn't really taken to solids yet at 8 months. At just before 6 months she asked if he could just have some ice cream. I say no and she says "but its sugar free". Uh. NO. Then she asked "well how bout a pickle then?" He handn't had a bit of solids yet at that point. Then this weekend she wanted to give him mashed potatoes. Fine but I said he couldn't because it has salt and butter. She said "well, no wonder he doesn't like food!"

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR


----------



## mollyeilis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shenjall*
I get the you-hold-your-baby-way-too-much crap all the time too!
I'm also told that co-sleeping is wrong b/c she'll "never" leave my bed. My reply usually consists of some smart-a** comment about making it easier for me to wake her to get her off to work later in life.
So many small minds...

That is just about the funniest reply EVER.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *bens_mommie*
When my son was born, people kept telling me that he was beautiful because dh and I did a "good job".







I didn't understand that. What exactly did we do, beside have sex? It isn't like I went to the baby dealership and custom ordered him.









We get that a lot too. People had notions of what my quarter Korean baby would look like (so did we), and when the baby came out with green eyes and red hair, well, people have been blown away (so were we).

And so we get lots of weird "good job" comments when people meet DS. Or we get some other comments, which I think deserve to be here even though they aren't exactly about parenting, but just stupid things I've had said to me.....

Since our baby doesn't have the same coloring as my half-Korean husband (friends call him a "mini-me") and he's really tall for his age, people make "cute" little comments about the tall red-haired groomsman at our wedding (people know it was a honeymoon baby due to the timing of it all).

Oh yes, ha ha, how amusing to be joking about the concept of a BRIDE having unprotected sex with someone other than her husband on her *wedding night*. ha ha, so funny. Let me cut you out of my life now.

I joke about it, but it's mainly a defensive thing. If I say it first, they can't, and so I won't know if they were going to.







:

***
MIL tried to feed my 6 month old apple juice WITHOUT ASKING last time we saw her. Then gave him a spoonful of water.

The water I dealt with b/c he probably swallows that much water during his baths. Of course I told her after he sputtered and swallowed that he doesn't get water b/c breastfed babies do not need it. This was after using my dog-training "NO" on her to keep the apple juice out of his mouth.

She acted all hurt, mumbling that she raised three babies and they're OK blah blah blah.

This is the same woman that fed my husband meat and other solids when he was 3 *weeks* old. I'll admit it was an error in translation (she thought the word "month" meant "week") and as soon as she talked to her mother in Seoul she stopped feeding him solids, but he's the only one that got solids that early and he's the only one of her children who has a real problem with weight, so....


----------



## cabins513

How is this for illiterate!!! I breastfed both of my girls (ages 3 and 9 weeks) despite no support from my family. Thank God for a very supportive and loving husband! This past Thanksgiving my grandma looks at me while happily nursing my baby and says, "Breastfeeding is just a sex thing. The only reason you people do it is because you like it!" All I could do is laugh at her stupidity! My grandmother was sexually molested up until her teenage years by her father and brothers so, I try to ignore her silly comments regarding sex, but this tops the cake!!!!


----------



## guestmama9915

Went to a new doctor for my almost 9mo DD yesterday. The doctor asked what she was eating. I replied, "Breastmilk, some fruits and veggies, cheerioes, etc." He said, "That's great! How long do you plan to breastfeed?" I said I wasn't sure, hadn't really thought about it. "Well, we recommend 6 months minimum. 9 months is great! Even 12 months is fine. Anything beyond that, though, is unnecessary and just for the mother's bonding issues."


----------



## mollyeilis

Might be weird, quoting something from August, but I can't help it...

Quote:


Originally Posted by *littleteapot*
All this talk about strangers questioning paternity makes me so cheesed! (I mean that people would question, not that you guys are talking about it!)

My DD has bright red hair that I _absolutely love_







. DH has dark brown hair, and I naturally have black hair (but keep it red. ATM it's reddy brown).
BUT... DH's dad has bright red hair, and so does my mother (and their parents, and their parents, etc). It's recessive (or an incomplete dominant) and it wasn't surprising that we had a baby born with fiery locs. It does seem to be surprising to everyone else though.







:

I can't tell you how many times we've had people approach and say things like, "Oh, what beautiful red hair!" - they look at DH - "So... where _did_ she get that from?"








My answer is always, "My mother and his father", but I'm getting so sick of that question (or rather, the _unasked_ question!) that I almost WANT to say something snarky.


Until I was pregnant and didn't color my hair, I've "been" blond for all my life. Never gave it a chance to show it's true colors, would just dump more L'oreal on it. Hubby has black hair, as he is half Korean. While pregnant I discovered I have dark brown hair.

DS came out with bright ORANGE hair. Now it's softened to red/strawberry (depending on how long since his bath or how often I've smoothed it down with my hand). Still, completely different hair color than we expected.

That, along with his greenish eyes and very pale coloring yield THE most obnoxious questions from friends (and looks from strangers). The red hair just flummoxes them!

(however, because of his red hair we've learned that red hair can hide for a generation, and we have talked a lot to his father about his family's genetics, things we didn't know b/c he's in his 70s and so all the pictures of him and his family in their youths are black and white!)


----------



## MacKinnon

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Phoebe*
Oh what a great thread. I finally had to add something... At just before 6 months she asked if he could just have some ice cream. I say no and she says "but its sugar free". Uh. NO. Then she asked "well how bout a pickle then?"

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

My mom is on this pickle thing too... DD is now 10 months and i just gave in. What's that about?? She started in on my at about 4 months- and my mom BF and co-slept- organic, food co-op...

When I was PG and teaching I had a parent FLIP OUT when she saw me hanging decorations in the classroom because she thought I would "strangle the baby" by having my arms over my head.

I also had a co-worker tell me how she had her second child on solids and cows milk at 9 months because formula was too expensive. I laughed, kindly, and said that that wouldn't be us because DD was still exclusively BFing. She said "oh, this is your first, you'll understand with your next child." I told her I was way to lazy to mess with food/bottles and that I would BF until DD was 18 and went away to college! That shut her up


----------



## Aura_Kitten

_When I was PG and teaching I had a parent FLIP OUT when she saw me hanging decorations in the classroom because she thought I would "strangle the baby" by having my arms over my head._

my girlfriend told me that too!!







i've heard it from other people too but she was the one who freaked out on me about it...


----------



## mollyeilis

One more bad thing, not about parenting once the baby is out, but about labor. I've become a hermit since the last months of pregnancy, and almost all of my supposedly close friends have proven themselves to not really be my friends, so I don't hear a lot.

But one friend, ugh.

Quote:

When my stepmom found out we were having a homebirth she said to me, "You know it hurts like hell right?" I said yes and she laughed and said, "You know it really hurts and doing it at home means you have no pain killer." I said I know....that's why I was fine with it....she just kept telling me it hurts and I would want an epidural.
The friend kept saying "at least you can't pretend to yourself that birth doesn't hurt now", in various ways, all through her visit to me a few months ago. Over and over.

She simply does NOT get that I knew it had the potential to hurt, and that I was prepared for that. I was indeed prepared (paid about $300 for the class in which I learned coping techniques, I was THAT aware of the pain many women experience), and I handled labor, all 90 hours of it at home, just fine. Loved it, actually. Can't wait to do it again (without those stupid-midwives (they were stupid, not all midwives are) this time)

It was only after I was forced to go to the hospital, when things got hideous due to the medicos' treatment of me, that it got ridiculously hard.

And no matter how many times I try to tell her (and my other friends), the ultimate c/s was not due to PAIN of labor, it was due to no other readily-apparent way out of the awful situation I was in!

But no, that's not relevant. All that's important to my friend (who was only in labor a few hours before she got her epidurals, and labors for her were under 12 hours, and will complain to high heaven about how much she hated that one shot of Nubain 9 years ago) is that now I "know that labor hurts".








:


----------



## yvonnemlv

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Keja*
Went to a new doctor for my almost 9mo DD yesterday. The doctor asked what she was eating. I replied, "Breastmilk, some fruits and veggies, cheerioes, etc." He said, "That's great! How long do you plan to breastfeed?" I said I wasn't sure, hadn't really thought about it. "Well, we recommend 6 months minimum. 9 months is great! Even 12 months is fine. Anything beyond that, though, is unnecessary and just for the mother's bonding issues."









GRRRR! I hear that ALLLL the time.. and then they explain how it's the same hormones for orgasms. I just wish they would stop making it seem sexual AND that they would keep up to date on the research that shows how good breastmilk is. Misinformation... GRRR. GRRR. GRR..









er, I think we found my bone... This is the BIGGEST reason for early weaning I hear from mamma's and doctors here in Sweden... I will go ballistic soon. Seriously. HEH.


----------



## mandalamama

everywhere we go, people stop to look and coo at Willow, they ask her age and we tell them (she's 9 weeks now) and we hear "but she's so tiny!!" and we get looks like we're starving her to death or something. she weighed 5lbs 13oz at birth, and she now weighs 8lbs 11oz ... i'm excited that she's gaining normally!







i'm half tempted to tell people she's 2 weeks old, and let them gasp in awe as she lifts her head and looks around and coos









i'm noticing it's not adults that have a problem reaching out and touching her without asking first ... it's their kids!! what's up with that? hardly any adult has even reached their hand out to touch her, but they'll let their kids reach right in and pull down her blanket and wake her up before i can stop them, or they go right for her face. i do encourage people and kids to interact with her, i like the "continuum concept," but direct touching without asking first is a no-no for me.


----------



## Stone Fence

I read all 42 pages!

I'm only pregnant with my first right now. I have lots of ammo for the dumb questions.

Thank you all, I am bumping this thread back up where it belongs.


----------



## William's Mom

I was appalled when a doctor told me last week that "nutritionally speaking, formula is just as good as breastmilk."

He also told me that he would choose getting a full night's sleep over night nursing!

All I said was, "Not me! I'm choosing to give my son the best!"


----------



## Nabbe

Working my way through this post. I came so far to post 150 or so, i am laaaughing. Hehehe... I am trying to remember some from my life, but did not find anyone yet.

By the way... "bf make boys gay" lol. My hubby laughed so much, he was in tears.


----------



## artgoddess

Okay I didn't have a response to this one yesterday, maybe some of you can help in case it happens to someone else, I doubt it will to me again.

Yesterday DP went to church with DS and I. For the first time in many many years. As we walk in together DP carrying our DS, who everyone sort of gravitates to each week, especially since he had on the cutest x-mas dress up outfit from grandpa. I'm introducing DP to a woman who responds with "Oh so DS has a dad?"







: I was too stupified to say anything.

Now lets see if I can get DP to go to church again any time soon, huh? She only said it to make fun of him for not coming before, she and I have talked about how her husband doesn't go either.

People can be RUDE!

Fortunately at 11 months my son has no idea what she said. But can you even imagine if he was like 4? And I believe this woman still would have made the comment. I was totally apologizing for her additude to DP later.


----------



## indiana ima

Quote:


Originally Posted by *artgoddess*
Okay I didn't have a response to this one yesterday, maybe some of you can help in case it happens to someone else, I doubt it will to me again.
"Oh so DS has a dad?"







:

hmmm... she said it at church? i would hope i would have been quickwitted enough to say something like "oh no, he *doesn't* have a dad. we had a virgin birth."


----------



## Kate'smommy

Thanks for all the laughs. I'm too tired at the moment to think of a good story. And I'm not as brave as many of you about confessing my co-sleeping, extended nursing, etc. I only get positive comments about my baby in arms or in her wrap.
But when I was working part-time, when my first was young, I was called into my supervisor's office because someone complained about my bottles of breastmilk in the fridge. She said I could put it in a bag if I felt like but that she didn't care and thought it was silly that someone actually came to her and complained. However, she did once say something dumb to me herself. I explained that I wanted to cut back my hours even further, to avoid putting my very attached 1 yr old ds in day care. (My mom watched him while I worked.) She said, "What are you going to do when he goes to kindergarten?" I didn't even try to explain when I later quit completely to stay home.


----------



## artgoddess

Quote:


Originally Posted by *indiana ima*
hmmm... she said it at church? i would hope i would have been quickwitted enough to say something like "oh no, he *doesn't* have a dad. we had a virgin birth."

oooo that would be good if I wasn't a Unitarian. Too liberally minded for virgin stories. Any more ideas? I love that one.


----------



## ian'smommaya

virgin birth rotfl. that struck me as funny somehow.
maya


----------



## EviesMom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aamilotte*
I was told my son was going to be a boob man since I was breast feeding him. So what are the bottle fed boys going to be and what does that make a girl?

Anisa Beddow
breast feeding
cloth diapering
baby food making
AP momma

I recently saw a black onesie that said "I'm a boob man" on it. I thought it was great! I'm still contemplating getting one that says "boobalicious" on the front and "got breastmilk?" on the back for my dd.


----------



## runes

We told friends that we had gone to talk to a midwife about homebirth (it was awesome...we weren't even preg yet and she spent over 2 hours with us explaining EVERYTHING!).

Friends say:"how are you going to get your house as sterile as the hospital?"










Didn't want to gross them out by going into the details of how I'd like to have a waterbirth and that 'floaters' are very much a possibility...


----------



## 1234greatboys

"Boy, you've got your hands full."

"Have you got the whole neighborhood with you?" (A trip to the grocery with the kids.)

"Are these all yours?"

"Are you going to try for a girl?" (We have 4 boys.)

After an Ultrasound, a week before he was due, Doc said my 3rd Son would be a 7 lb. girl. He was 10 lbs. 4 oz. Oops.
When I went into labor and my DS came out, I was shocked and asked if there was another one in there somewhere? Ha! Ha!

I nursed my first 3 for 1 year and my 4th for 2 years. I've also heard many mothers say they couldn't nurse their babies. So many excuses, it's like they feel guilty or something? I know I'd feel guilty too if I didn't give my kids the best I could. One of my girl-friends had a baby 3 months ago. She put her on formula from day 1, but then out of the blue started nursing her about 2 weeks later. I totally started crying and I couldn't help, but, hug her when she told me the blessed news.


----------



## LianneM

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kidspiration*
Friends say:"how are you going to get your house as sterile as the hospital?"

OMG! I got this question yesterday! I was in shock - didn't even know what to say! :LOL


----------



## LianneM

oops


----------



## StarMama

Alrighty, I always knew my MIL thinks CIO would be a really dandy thing to do with ds. I avoid saying *why* I won't do it, to not make her feel bad about her choices when she was parenting babies (yeah yeah, maybe I'm TOO nice).

But the last time we were there I mentioned his sleeping being really rough the last few nights, and she just looked at me like I was evil incarnate and said "And *who's* fault is that?!?!?!" Which is really really hurtful, I keep trying to explain to her that I'm doing what *I* think is best, and I just wish she would respect my choices.

And I'm getting *really* pissed off at the multitudes of people who comment "Oh my! He's gonna be a *BIG* boy!" in a slightly negative way while looking at me and my Dh (both plus sized) because he's *tall* . Like WTF people, do you want me to somehow keep him from getting taller?? (he is not overweight at *all*, not even a 'chubby' baby)


----------



## cholderby

I got a kick out of this:

My SIL's mom was telling us about her BFing experience. Her mom was very much against it. So the Grandma bought a baby scale. She'd rip SIL out of her mom's arms before a feeding, weigh her, and then weigh her again afterwards. Clearly any difference in weight was the milk consumed, which was always less than what the Grandma thought necessary.

I am so thankful that I am second generation for natural birth and BFing!


----------



## Parthenia

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kidspiration*
"how are you going to get your house as sterile as the hospital?"

My mom asked what kind of "special cleaning" I would have to do, too. I gave her the "I don't understand look", and she continued, "well you want your house sterile and clean, right?"

I said, "That's what the nesting instinct is for." This answer wasn't scientific enough. So she said, "You know, my sisters were born at home."

So I said, "I'll clean as much as your mother did then."


----------



## Vegarchist

I love this thread, but I have to go to bed! I just wanted to insert my outrageous comment. Even though I was planning a home birth, I wanted an ultrasound so I went to a doctor I didn't really "choose" just someone who could do the us. Well, we found out that ds was trying to come early @24 weeks! When Doc was telling me this and saw how upset I was becoming, she said:

"As mammals, our first pregnancies are really just throw aways"









Then she said:

"Try not to cry too much..."

Can you say cold-hearted B*TCH!

PS - I hate "couldn't bf" stories too. My sister's friend's doctor told her she was _starving_ her baby because her breasts were too full for the milk to come out!


----------



## cinnamonamon

vegarchist -- thta's insane! Along the lines of the starving baby...one of the nurses at the hospital told me until my milk came in I was basically starving him -- thanks for the fyi, lady!


----------



## jraohc

My grandpa explained that he'd never ask anyone if their baby was "good", because how is the answer "no" ever appropriate. That was so cool to hear from my grandpa - it just melted my heart.

When I was pregnant dh's grandpa asked "what are you having?" I answered "a baby" and he completely didn't get it, so I answered that we would find out if it's a boy or a girl when it's born. His response was "but if you don't find out now how will you know what color blanket to make?"

When dd was 5 months old, dh made the mistake of telling his parents that we were co-sleeping. They, remarkably didn't make any comments about this to me, but his grandpa exclaimed "how are you going to give dd any siblings if she's sleeping with you?" I know he wants more great-grandkids, but we were astonished that he asked such a personal question and I was even more astonished when dh echoed his sentiment later in the day (meaning dh thinks the reason we're not having frequent sex is because dd is in our bed).

Regarding breastfeeding, I was talking with another women at work who pumped and she told me that I should introduce formula to dd now that she's 6 months old because otherwise she might not like it. I just stared at her in disbelief.

One of DD's daycare provider wanted to know if she should heat up dd's bottle because dd was going to be hungry soon. Umm... She knows it's breastmilk in the bottle, but she obviously didn't make the correlation that breastmilk comes from breasts!

We've also gotten "rice isn't a solid" a few times and were told that dd needs more calories so we should feed her rice instead of one of her bottles.


----------



## janerose

This really is an awesome thread!

We've gotten all the standards so far -- "good baby" "how's she sleeping", etc
And of course it seems like people never thinks she is a he unless she's dressed on something pink or really girly.









MIL came to visit when she was about 3 wks old. The visit went fine, but afterwards she sent us this big long e-mail about how we needed to dress her warmer. Apparently having her dressed in pj's inside plus a hat and 2 blankets outside wasn't enough?? Mind you we live in Northern VT and it was like 50 out still at this point. MIL seems to feel that she needs to wear a onsie & tights ALL THE TIME under her regular clothes. Now I do this now when it's like -25 here, but when it's 50 out?









FIL and my mom's dp both insist she needs to cry so her lungs can develop...

A friend of mine (she's really a nice lady I swear) asked me if I was "still holding that baby all the time". Well, I do put her in the swing or bouncy seat to nap while I do chores or cook, but YEAH I hold her most of the time...









Several people have asked (including FIL and my best-friend) if we "still" like using cloth dipes. I just say that we don't like it, we LOVE it. If I want to really freak them out I'll tell them about my wool stash.









When we had to start supplementing my Mom (who actually was suprisingly supportive of bf since she only ff) said "well, maybe you'll find she really likes it and doesn't want to bf anymore."









Don't even get me going on all the pg comments. Everyone was SURE we'd give up on cloth and I'd have a medicated birth. hmmmm....guess they were wrong on both counts







And at DH's x-mas party I was sitting with a table of mamas who were discussing how great scheduled c-sections are.








They looked at me like I had 3 heads when I said I did natural.

Dumb comments others have gotten:
- best friend's new boss insisted her 2nd kid being a c-section was necessary because he was "too big". The baby was like 8 or 9 lbs. She chose the wrong person to have that conversation with though, since my friend informed her she'd just had her 10 lb, 3 oz son naturally.









- my gram told my cousin that they didn't need to read to their dd when she was a baby & they were wasting their time. she also "informed" him dd would be bow legged if they let her bear weight before she could crawl, etc.

------------

Know this is kinda late, but Robin I have to say your son is gorgeous! Awesome photography....the bf pics are really sweet. FWIW I agree you should change docs ASAP!


----------



## Aura_Kitten

_his grandpa exclaimed "how are you going to give dd any siblings if she's sleeping with you?" .... dh thinks the reason we're not having frequent sex is because dd is in our bed_

they don't sound very imaginative...









there are other places to... enjoy one's partnership...


----------



## User101

Quote:


Originally Posted by *klothos*
_his grandpa exclaimed "how are you going to give dd any siblings if she's sleeping with you?" .... dh thinks the reason we're not having frequent sex is because dd is in our bed_

We've been doing the family bed since Michael was born, and now he has a baby brother AND a little sister.
Annette


----------



## mom2kbeth

I've gotten a ton of stupid comments, mostly from my mom.

About co-sleeping and having gotten pg - she asked me how that possibly could have happened since dd slept with us. I was so shocked, but responded that she napped in her own room!

We have just discovered that dd has a wheat allergy. My mom has given her pancakes and gingerbread men (she was watching her for a couple of hours because ds and I were sick). I told her she can't have pancakes and gingerbread men unless I make them (using spelt flour or something else wheat free). She stupidly tells me that there is no wheat in her flour - she buys white flour, not wheat







Uh, yes mom, and white flour comes from the white plant ...

She also doesn't believe that dd has a wheat allergy and told dd on xmas eve that she "could be allergic to whatever your mom tells you you're allergic to".

She told me when ds was 5 mo old that it was time to start weaning him. Now that he's 10 mo old, she keeps telling me to switch him over to formula now because he is able to use a cup. Why would I want to give him formula just because he is physically capable of using a cup? She told me a couple of weeks ago that he doesn't drink enough throughout the day. I responded that he nurses about 40 times a day/night. She said that didn't count, he needed to be having cups of water and/or juice throughout the day, otherwise he's get dehydrated









She said something that really upset dd on xmas eve. My dd is not a cryer, but I could tell that she was upset so I had her come over and snuggle on my lap for a minute. My mother told me not to hold her because I was making her be upset.

My aunt told me that dd was rude on xmas eve because she wouldn't give her a hug. We only see these people a few times a year (haven't seen them since dd's bday in august) and she was really overwhelmed because there were a lot of people around hovering over her trying to force her to hug them. Yes, and she's the rude one!

We are homeschooling our kiddos. Dd has been having some issues with her "listening ears" lately. My mother told me that it's because we're together too much. If I would just put her in daycare then she would listen to me better. I still don't know what to say to that one - it just makes no sense to me at all!

Last one - I bought the kids a really great wooden kitchen set for the holidays. My mother told me that I should just send her to preschool because they have those kitchens there. Yup - there's a great reason to send your child to school, so that she can play with the kitchen!


----------



## nikirj

I have a new favorite...

I had my DD, now 4 days old, at 2:50am on the 22nd. At noon the same day, MIL comes over. I answered the door, and after a few moments of oggling the newborn in my arms, she stares at my belly and says "but what's THAT?"

Holy $41T, what did she expect? I mean, really - I had the baby 9 hours ago, was I supposed to be wearing my pre-pregnancy jeans and doing sit-ups and jumping jacks? It wasn't even that bad, about how I looked at 4 months. DH said "she just doesn't remember." But damn, the woman always has something to say about how I look, and it is very, very rarely positive.


----------



## Aura_Kitten

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mom2kbeth*
About co-sleeping and having gotten pg - she asked me how that possibly could have happened since dd slept with us.

i would have responded with something blatantly risque, like... "we prefer the bathroom counter..."


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nikirj*
I had my DD, now 4 days old, at 2:50am on the 22nd. At noon the same day, MIL comes over. I answered the door, and after a few moments of oggling the newborn in my arms, she stares at my belly and says "but what's THAT?"

*sigh* some people (my MIL included) have absolutely no tact whatsoever.

Congrats on the new babe!!!


----------



## mandalamama

you know how people, usually older women/grandmas, are always telling moms to add cereal to the baby's bottle so they'll sleep better?

it turns out that for some babies with GERD (reflux), they really do need cereal added to their bottle, so their stomach contents will stay down! and then they sleep better, because they don't keep waking up choking in their sleep.

it makes me wonder how many kids had undiagnosed GERD all those years, and their moms were right! then again, how many kids had no reflux at all and still got the cereal "just because"


----------



## RosieTook

Well I found out this weekend that when I was 6 weeks old the dr told my mom that I was gaining weight "too fast" and to put me on a diet!!!







: No, I am NOT kidding...so apparently she put rice cereal in my bottle (formula fed from day one...3-4 hour schedule..thanks mom







) so that I would not gain so much...since when does a 6 week old need to DIET!!! I can't help but feel that this and certain other factors have led to my constant struggle with my weight and I can only hope that my exclusively bf dd will have less issues...

My dad also told me not to worry if dd cries, that she is fine...to which I replied "why would I not go to her if she is upset? Is she any less deserving of comfort than an adult just because she doesn't have words?" Then I left my uneaten luch and went to her...I think he was a little shocked, but really, I'll just let her scream and scream and calmy eat my lunch...














why oh why do people think this is okay??


----------



## nhklh

My stepmother and DP's stepmother can both be quite full of it and we don't particularly like either of them.

Mine: Oh you can't have them sleep with you, they make too much noise.
Me (biting tongue): Well it works for us. (I WANT to know when DS is making noises so I can give him whatever he needs!).

DP's SM: You just can't be worrying about every little thing when you have a baby, after all somebody might breath on him and give him AIDS.

We ignored this one, in too much shock that somebody would say something so stupid and ignorant.

DP later (of course, later!) thought of an excellent comeback: We should be careful that YOU don't breath on him and give him buck teeth!


----------



## ian'smommaya

breath and give aids?!
wow.
maya


----------



## tammylc

My mom is probably a treasure trove of them, but I mostly just block out everything she says. One thing stuck from her most recent visit, though. Upon realizing that DS is in cloth diapers, she said "Oh, you're still using cloth? You'll have to switch to disposables soon." When I asked her why, she said so I could start potty training him. First, DS is 8 months old. And second, how are these things in any way connected?

My mom lives in her own little fantasy land. Previously she has claimed that I was walking and talking at 6 months of age. And not just walking, but running to answer the phone when it rang. And not just talking, but picking up said phone and calling the operator. Um, sure mom. Whatever you say. This time, she added potty training to my 6 month achievements. I could believe that she sat my down on the potty at six months and I peed in it - not consistently, but I could see it happening. But then she claims that the day I did it, I spent the rest of the day dragging visitors into the bathroom to show them what I'd done. At six months. Right.


----------



## MelissaEvans

Quote:

Upon realizing that DS is in cloth diapers, she said "Oh, you're still using cloth? You'll have to switch to disposables soon." When I asked her why, she said so I could start potty training him.
How funny... I've heard of families switching to cloth at 2-3 years (um... not 6 months!) to get potty training going because the child can't tell when s/he's wet with the disposables. And now Pampers has the new "feel and learn" so the child can feel the wet like s/he can with *cloth diapers* to help potty training (and those sizes start at 12 months or so).


----------



## nhklh

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ian'smommaya*
breath and give aids?!


Uh huh. And she said this to a lesbian couple (us) and of course the gay/les community is totally saturated with info about HIV transmission









I thought of a couple more overnight;

DS is a HN/GERD baby, next door neighbour is pushing 70.

Neighbour: Is he a good baby?
Us: Well he IS challenging as he has GERD and cries a lot from the pain.
N (accusatory tone): You're not spoiling him are you?
U: Blank look.
N: When he cries do you pick him up?
U: Of course!
N: Oh you're spoiling him, it's YOUR fault he cries so much.
U: *incredulous look* He cries because he's IN PAIN and we do things our way.

Lesbian-feminist-separatist acquaintance we ran into at an event when DP was pg, we didn't like her at all before but now









Me: Oh DP is pg and we're having a little boy
LFSA: *sneering* ewww am I supposed to be happy about that?
Me: We are!
LFSA: *distasteful tone* so is that (boy) what you wanted?
Me: Of course!

Thought-of-too-late-comeback:
Our happiness has no link to our child's genitalia whatsoever.

Loving this thread, too funny!


----------



## artgoddess

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nhklh*
Me: Oh DP is pg and we're having a little boy
LFSA: *sneering* ewww am I supposed to be happy about that?
Me: We are!
LFSA: *distasteful tone* so is that (boy) what you wanted?
Me: Of course!

Thought-of-too-late-comeback:
Our happiness has no link to our child's genitalia whatsoever.

Loving this thread, too funny!

Uhg! That's awful. Reminds me of when I was spreading the happy news DP and I were expecting. I had lunch with a girlfriend who had just come back from her 1st trip to NY. So we're at lunch and there's a break in the conversation. I tell her the real rason I wanted to meet her for lunch was I some news.
Me: Dean and I are going to have a baby.
her: Oh...Well, is that good news or bad news?
Me: We are very happy about it.
her: Oh, okay, well anyway back to my trip blah, blah, blah....


----------



## nhklh

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tammylc*
My mom lives in her own little fantasy land. .........At six months. Right.

Now THAT is funny! Hmmm wonder why my EIGHT month old doesn't have skills yet that could be harvested for the workplace


----------



## tammylc

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nhklh*
Now THAT is funny! Hmmm wonder why my EIGHT month old doesn't have skills yet that could be harvested for the workplace









Indeed - she must be so disappointed in her grandson for being so far behind the curve!!!

Hey - I just noticed your sig - seems our Liams were born just 2 days apart - nifty.


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## MamaHippo

I was told by a babywiser when my ds was 1 month old that if i only gave him rice cereal mixed with formula in a bottle and put him to bed with that, he would sleep through the night "like magic". I can think of at least 4 things wrong with that!!!


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## MamaHippo

My mother had twins born at 26 weeks and one of them died when he was 3 days old, and one of her friends kept saying it was "good that he died so young, cus at least you weren't attached to him." That was 10 years ago, and she still stings from it. What brings people to say such things to grieving moms????


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## mollyeilis

So my son is 7 months old, about 19 lbs and 28 inches long. He's toddler-height. If he weren't so tall he'd be a chunk, but he is so he's pretty slim. He's VERY strong and very active.

I've lost almost all the baby-weight, but still have 25-30 lbs to go for general weight-loss purposes. My hubby is overweight, but he's also very strong and has a very muscular frame.

We were at our chiro's office last week, talking to a lady about DS. Mentioned his size.

She looked at me, then at DH, then at me and said "well, he'll probably be stocky"...







:

I sputtered and was glad it was time for us to leave anyway.


----------



## indiana ima

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MamaHippo*
"good that he died so young, cus at least you weren't attached to him." ... What brings people to say such things to grieving moms????

i believe people doing that are trying to make themselves feel better. they are under the very, very common, but incorrect assumptions that
1: this sort of thing is comforting to the grief-stricken because it is comforting to the speaker.
2: if you tell someone what to feel, they will feel what you tell them.
3: their discomfort (with someone else's grief) is the important emotion here. to put it another way, they don't know how to empathize (a learned skill for most humans).

in the USAs dominant culture, we simply don't teach people how to interact well with those who are grieving.







folks don't know what to do or say in these situations.

[WARNING: sad story ahead]
to be fair, sometimes these thoughtless statements actually do comfort people. i was a chaplaincy student in a maternity ward in an large community hospital many years ago. i visited several times with a woman who was on hospital bedrest for preterm labor. this was her third or fourth pregnancy but she had no living children.







one weekend (i wasn't there), she gave birth to an incredibly premature baby. the girl died in her mother's arms a few hours after she was born. she was so premature that the doctors didn't even try to save her.








when i visited her on monday, she told me what happened. and she told me that her own mother had comforted her tremendously by saying that the baby had died BECAUSE G!d needed another angel. this was so comforting to her that she'd named her daughter Angel.








truthfully, i was horrified. her mother had just told her that G!d had deliberately turned her into an angel factory instead of a mother to a living child. that G!d forced human women to create angels by murdering their babies. she was also implying that G!d doesn't know another way to make angels. to put it mildly, this is not my own theology. but what mattered was that the grieving mother was, in fact, comforted. (i did not contradict her mother's statement, btw.)

what is my point. i guess i am trying to say that another reason people say these awful things to grieving mothers is because once in a blue moon, these sorts of things actually do comfort grieving mothers.









oh, and just in case you are still listening, here is some unsolicited advice.







when you are with someone who is grieving and don't know what to say, try these guidelines:
1: don't just do something, stand there
2: don't tell someone else what to feel
3: don't tell other people that you know exactly how they feel, even if you've experienced the exact same tragedy

ok, i think i'll be able to tear myself away from my little soapbox now.


----------



## Aura_Kitten

Vicki, your words are well received.







s

after my third miscarriage (which i was upset about!! duh?) i was talking with one of our neighbors, and i mentioned what had happened, and he said...

*well, that's good. you can't really afford another one now anyway.*










i had to get out of the conversation ASAP because i started crying so hard.

some people can be such idiots.


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *klothos*
Vicki, your words are well received.







s

after my third miscarriage (which i was upset about!! duh?) i was talking with one of our neighbors, and i mentioned what had happened, and he said...

*well, that's good. you can't really afford another one now anyway.*


Oh. My. Goodness. WTF is wrong with some people?! A lost baby is good because you're budget is tight?! That's a horrid thing to say to a mother!

I am so sorry you had to deal with such a stupid, heartless person.


----------



## Aura_Kitten

thanks, but, you know, what i think is most mind-boggling about this, and all the situations here really, is that these people really mean well, you know? (well, ok, in most of the situations they honestly mean well.) they think that they're actually helping.


----------



## nhklh

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tammylc*
Hey - I just noticed your sig - seems our Liams were born just 2 days apart - nifty.


Indeed! Yours is quite the cutie


----------



## mandalamama

Willow started refluxing in a store today, sometimes she gets a bout of it suddenly so i was comforting her as best i could and preparing to leave. this lady came and said "oh so this is the one i could hear all the way at the front of the store!" she and her friend giving me weird looks, i could FEEL the bad advice coming on! they both were getting way too close for comfort so i stood my ground in front of Willow. i can't believe they came all the way to the back of a big store just to needle me about my "loud" baby!! another woman saw the two bitchy women and came over to coo and ahh over Willow, i told her she has reflux that causes sudden pain and shrieking, the nice woman talked to me about her grandbaby's reflux. the two bitchy women finally just went away. it's like, if a baby is crying in public, some people are sympathetic and other people just assume you're abusing or starving your own kid! makes me wonder if that's how they are/were with their own kids.


----------



## boricuaqueen327

I was visiting some relatives and they noticed that my 8 month old had no teeth. They said she might have to have her gums cut open to let the teeth through! Needless to say that was a little scary.


----------



## mollyeilis

Oh my goodness, what even made them *think* of that?







:


----------



## nhklh

Meli, aren't some people awful about crying babies? When we visited friends in hospital who'd just had their babies Liam was having a really bad day. He couldn't cope with anyone else being around so needless to say it was a very short visit. Anyhow, we got dirty looks from the midwives! You would think they of all people would know better!

I've also had people come up in the shops to tell Liam "it's ok" but of course that only upsets him more.

I'm sorry Willow is suffering so much with her reflux.


----------



## boingo82

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mollyeilis*
Oh my goodness, what even made them *think* of that?







:

The practice actually started around the same time circ was popularized. Early 1900s. Shows how misguided the whole med. system was back then (and still is).


----------



## Shenjall

Quote:

The practice actually started around the same time circ was popularized. Early 1900s. Shows how misguided the whole med. system was back then (and still is).
This is what really gets me. So many people I know talk about all the screw ups the med system was and all the mistakes that were made. But still they believe in them and everything they do without asking any questions at all.
Like my sis for example - she goes on and on about the recalling of so many meds these days. But when I tell her of any info I've read on vaxes (she vaxes; we dont) she gets up in arms saying things like "well my dr said its okay so it must be"









My point is that the med system has proved itself time and time again to be inconsistent so why are people still blindly following it?

disclaimer: I'm not against all med professionals and systems; I'm generalizing quickly as to not burn dinner







I hope my point came across well....meant no ill will.....


----------



## SeanaRain

Well, I finally have something to add to this board.

We took DS to the library to visit with the librarians who are friends of ours. While we were there DS gave me a big open mouth wide sloppy kiss. I'm sure you know the kind. He's only 7 months old. The librarian (who has children) said, "Oh, he's going to bite you!"

I just laughed and said, "No. He's just learning to give kisses."

The reply...."Well, if he does become a biter I know how you can cure it. When he bites you, just bite him back harder."

You could have knocked me over!


----------



## jefnsean

:







:
I've been reading this thread forever! Definitely one of the more humorous threads on being a mama I've read lately!









I've got a few I'd like to add. Ok - more than that, but I'll start out small. With the doctors. (Just a note, I have nothing against the medical community. I know some very good doctors. My situation however puts me with ones who are clueless in this area of expertise.)

At my two week checkup with DD:
Me: DD cries all the time.
NP: This is your first right?
Me: Yes... But I've been around babies a lot. DD cries all the time. (of course at the time she's sleeping, just to make me a liar...)
NP: Well, all babies cry. You'll get used to it.









Later at another dr. visit...
Me: DD is in pain.
Dr.: What makes you think that?
Me: DD cries and screams all the time.
Dr.: Well sometimes babies are colicky - it's not your fault.







:

Of course, several months of internet research later, I've figured out that my high needs DD is sensitive to beef proteins of all kinds (dairy included), citrus, eggs, and cruciferous veggies in my diet. She is of course exclusively BFed.

New dr. visit:
Me: I think DD is sensitive to dairy/lactose (I wasn't fully researched yet). She is exclusively Bfed.
Dr.: Have you tried switching formulas?









And the kicker: (yet another dr.)
Me: DD is in pain. I think she might have reflux. (DD is slung and is consistently 50% on weight)
Dr.: Oh no, your baby is too fat and happy to have reflux.









*sigh*
I might get to see a pediatric specialist at the end of the month. *fingers crossed* Maybe I'll win yet at playing dr. roulette.









Jenn "you can't pidgeonhole me" mama to Kait







2-29-04


----------



## mollyeilis

OK this isn't really about parenting stuff, but the lady really should have looked at how hubby was parenting, and NOT said what she said.

My hubby got one while we were shopping a few weeks ago.

The background is that our son looks nothing like my husband, superficially, at least. When you really start looking at them you can see the similarities, but at first glance he's a little clone of me. This is made especially dramatic for people who don't know us because my husband is half Korean and has black hair, almost black eyes, and a darker skin tone. Our son and I have light skin, he has green eyes, and red hair (I have blue eyes and turns-out-to-be brown hair).

I was trying on a shirt, and hubby was holding Eamon. He's holding the diaper bag, a stuffed animal, and my sling.

Someone came up to him, while hubby was waiting outside the women's dressing room, and tells him that "it looks like you stole that baby".










After he told me what she said, I was livid. For the usual reasons, but can you imagine the racism behind that statement? I mean, if Eamon looked Asian and hubby looked white, no one would say he STOLE him...at most he'd get asked about the adoption agency (a friend whose half Korean girls looked, superficially, nothing like her was asked "where'd you get them?" routinely). But he wouldn't be told that he stole him.

grr.


----------



## William's Mom

Molly, what a terrible, mindless, prejudicial thing for someone to say to your husband!

Sometimes I worry about the human race!

(By the way, your child sounds adorable!!!)


----------



## Mama Michelle

I'm not even sure what to classify this as!
Last Monday we took DD for her 9 month appointment. Chating with the DR (who is great btw, usually) we mentioned that DD is walking. Of course DR was blown away by our little angel, but she said something that wasn't really offensive, but really irked me. She told Dh and I "You sure didn't get to have a baby for very long". Granted DD is a "toddler" now but she's still a baby and she'll be a baby for a while. It really bothers me that the DR would take that from me. I'm so proud (and so very tired) that DD is walking early, but she's ALWAYS going to be my baby.


----------



## Corvus

mollyeilis, your post has me speechless!!


----------



## Welovedante

Oh Molly, how awful.

I'm asian, my hubby's white, and our son looks asian. He takes care of little Dante, and we live in NC - he has been asked on a few separate occasions, "Is that really your baby?" followed up by "are you sure?" *sigh*


----------



## ian'smommaya

that is sad. and xenophobic. and sad and xenophobic. sorry to hear that.
maya


----------



## guerrillamama

Molly & Heidi







My parents (Asian dad, white mom) got that crap all the time. My sister and I turned out ok, tho!


----------



## Ravin

I'd probably have a crass comeback in the wings for something like that racist "stole the baby" remark.

How about: "Naw, I just knocked up a white chick."

Or, "Nope, I bought him on the black market."

Or, "Don't tell my wife, she thinks she gave birth to him."

Or, "Nope, we had a threesome with the mailman."


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ravin*
How about: "Naw, I just knocked up a white chick."

Or, "Nope, I bought him on the black market."

Or, "Don't tell my wife, she thinks she gave birth to him."

Or, "Nope, we had a threesome with the mailman."









:







:







:


----------



## Mummoth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Welovedante*
Oh Molly, how awful.

I'm asian, my hubby's white, and our son looks asian. He takes care of little Dante, and we live in NC - he has been asked on a few separate occasions, "Is that really your baby?" followed up by "are you sure?" *sigh*

I think I'd be tempted to ask "What makes you think he might not be?" and"Obviously, we'd remember if we'd adopted him, how else could he not be my 'real son'?"

(I really hate the term 'real' infront of mom, dad or kid... regardless of the situation... even if they *didn't* share the same DNA, he'd still be the 'real dad' IMO)


----------



## mamalisa

My best friend doesn't get cosleeping really. I'm the only one she knows that cosleeps, her sister's kids sleep in their own rooms. She asked the other day how in the world we managed to get pg with # 2. I joked that it was a really big house







and ds was a sound sleeper and easily moved. She replied that she was never eating on my dining room table again







:







:







: If only she knew!!


----------



## the_lissa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamalisa*
My best friend doesn't get cosleeping really. I'm the only one she knows that cosleeps, her sister's kids sleep in their own rooms. She asked the other day how in the world we managed to get pg with # 2. I joked that it was a really big house







and ds was a sound sleeper and easily moved. She replied that she was never eating on my dining room table again







:







:







: If only she knew!!


I'll never understand that. Do people really only have sex in a bed?


----------



## artgoddess

I get that too! What is with poeple? I always just say "the couch sees more action than it used to."


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *artgoddess*
I get that too! What is with poeple? I always just say "the couch sees more action than it used to."

LOL I say there's a reason the kitchen counters are at the perfect height :LOL


----------



## Kitten

My MIL was told by her ped that my DH would be "retarded" because he had a small head at his 1 yr checkup. She was in hysterics and flew back to her hometown on the east coast to talk to DH's original ped there. He said the new ped was an idiot and her son was fine. Which he is. He just has a small head. DS has a small head too, so I made sure to tell this story to his ped and his nurse. They thought it was a riot and reassured me that there is NOTHING wrong with our son. Some doctors are just idiots (and tactless as well - can you imagine telling someone that their son will be "retarded?!")

However, MIL also regularly gives us dumb advice. She says we should let our 3 month old CIO and that I should only feed him every 4 hours! The woman knows nothing about BFing yet thinks she's an expert. Also, she keeps asking DH when we're going to put him on a schedule.


----------



## kater07

I can't believe I started this thread over 2 years ago, and it's still going this strong! It took me 3 days to read from pg 15-46.

I am due any day now with #2, and while I haven't gotten too much insane crap lately, my dad did ask me if we'd started the Due Date Pool yet. I told him to can it that I wasn't taking bets on when this kid would be born b/c I'd win, since the baby and I control labor.

He also keeps telling me how HUGE I am. I told him that he needs to find something else to say. I said that no pregnant woman needs to hear how big she is. he said that all pregnant women are beautiful, and I told him that he could tell anyone he wanted how beautiful they are, but NOT to EVER say anything about size again.

I am also sick of hearing how HUGE this baby is going to be because frankly, I don't think this baby will be as big as DS. That's just my guess.

My neighbor used to ask me all the time how my bowl movements were, as if it's her business.

The really dumb crap I've heard since DS#1 was born, though, was mostly concerning food. My mom and my FIL both tried to feed DS foods with nuts in them LONG before I was ready for that. They both insisted that they were't giving him bits of the nuts. They were scooping the ice cream, sweet potatoes or filling from the pecan pie out around the nuts, so it wouldn't hurt him. WTF?

I loved reading this, and now I can keep up again!

Thanks for keeping it alive, everyone!


----------



## indiana ima

gee kater, thanks for starting the thread! it's been incredibly entertaining.









and congratulations on your pregnancy. mazal tov!


----------



## Lousli

When I was pg with my first, we painted the "baby's room" blue and yellow. My mom asked, "What if it's a girl?" I just said, "Girls like blue, too" (Of course, she's a girl and she never sleeps in that room, but anyway...)

This time around, we told my parents and in-laws the name we chose, and they wouldn't stop telling us how much they disliked it. After we had chosen the name (Hazel Eliana) and told it to our 3 year-old daughter, and made a website with the baby's name on it, my mom said to me, "What about Hailey instead of Hazel?" as if it was still up for discussion. Then about a month later, she said, "Maybe I'll just call her Ellie (short for Eliana)" and I said, "Um, no, you won't, because that isn't her name." She waited another month and then said it AGAIN! I just about bit her head off.

Then, about a week after my sweet daughter was born (7 weeks premature) and was still in the NICU, I called a close friend of mine to share the news. She said, "Well, in a way that's good, because those last couple of months of pregnancy really suck." And I was thinking, "And it doesn't suck to have your baby hooked up to an IV, underneath bili lights, being tube fed and in the HOSPITAL instead of home with you?" I talked to her a couple of weeks later (dd was still in the hospital) and she asked, "Well, aren't you glad she was early so you didn't have to be pregnant so long?" This was after my dd had flunked the "carseat test" twice and I had been crying my eyes out for days because I just wanted to bring her home so badly.


----------



## nhklh

Sorry that people have been so stupid and insensitive to you. You must be very strong to get through such a trying time with your early little one.


----------



## MelissaEvans

Quote:

This time around, we told my parents and in-laws the name we chose, and they wouldn't stop telling us how much they disliked it.
I mentioned one name I liked to my mom and got this. So DH and I decided that we weren't going to tell anyone until the baby was born and they couldn't argue. We had a list of about 10 names for each gender so that we had narrowed it down to ones that *we* both agreed on and could wait until we saw the little one to be sure it fit. Mom was ticked. Oh well. =)

We didn't find out the gender either, and I did a moons and stars theme in the nursery (really cute, never used). Since the sky is blue, there was quite a bit of blue in the baby equipment we bought (rarely used; wish I knew then what I know now!) and many people raised their eyebrows with the "What if it's a girl?" I just told them that the sky is blue and it was out of my power to change that.


----------



## Mama Michelle

We named our DD after my Grandmother on my dad's side. My GM died quite a few years ago, so I can understand the discomfort my father feels calling her by her given name so my parents call her by her middle name which drives me nuts! I thought that my dad would be thrilled that we named our dd after his mom but he told me that he just can't call her that. When they call they ask "how is Abegail?" and I say "Cathrina is fine". I have to keep reminding them that DD knows that her name is Cathrina and by calling her Abegail it is just going to confuse her (she's 10 months). I tell them that in a few years, when she understands that Abegail is her name too, then they can call her that, but until them stick to one name.


----------



## Lula's Mom

Michelle, that's just weird.









To stay with the "unpopular name" theme, my MIL pitched a fit when we announced we'd chosen the name Tallulah, and that the baby would be called Lula. She didn't like it, and she decided she'd call her "Tulie" instead. "It will be my _special_ name for her!!" (OK, you think "Lula" is weird, but you like "Tulie"?







) Ex-DH told her she wouldn't be calling our baby anything but her name. Thank goodness she listened.

I had a sad conversation with a hair stylist last week. I sat down in her chair and forewarned her that my hair was really falling out because I had a 5-week-old baby. She said "Oh, yeah, I heard him crying. It sounded like you took his bottle away or something!" HAHA. I smiled and told her that he's never had a bottle. She said "Oh, you breastfeed? Did you see "Meet the Fockers?" I said no, I hadn't. She launched into a derogatory diatribe about a character in the movie who apparently was breastfeeding her 4-year-old (Gasp! The horror!) Her coworkers were shuddering and clucking their tongues in disapproval.

So I said "My 3-year-old is still nursing." Silence, her blank look turning to barely concealed shock and revulsion... She then told me "I couldn't breastfeed my daughter." Expecting some medical reason, I asked her why not, and she said *"That child was just too needy. I couldn't take her on me all the time."* My turn for the blank look and revulsion...

She went on to tell me how long she'd tried to conceive, how much she had wanted a baby, and that she named her "Amira", as in "A Miracle", because she was just a miracle baby. I thought, how sadly ironic that you found your "miracle baby" too freaking needy.


----------



## guerrillamama

No offense, but I don't get the name thing. Why would you have a problem w/ people calling your DC by their middle name, or some nickname other than the one you use? It's not like they're making up some totally different name... Don't get me wrong, I think you have every right to insist that people call your DC whatever you want them to be called, and it's disrespectful if they don't honor that. But about 1/2 the people in DS' life call him by his 1st name and about 1/2 call him by his 2nd name and a few people have their own special nicknames for him and it never occurred to me to be bothered by that.







They are all his names. I guess my point is just that the people who are doing this might not realize that anyone would be offended by it.


----------



## Lousli

Quote:


Originally Posted by *guerrillamama*
No offense, but I don't get the name thing. Why would you have a problem w/ people calling your DC by their middle name, or some nickname other than the one you use? It's not like they're making up some totally different name... Don't get me wrong, I think you have every right to insist that people call your DC whatever you want them to be called, and it's disrespectful if they don't honor that. But about 1/2 the people in DS' life call him by his 1st name and about 1/2 call him by his 2nd name and a few people have their own special nicknames for him and it never occurred to me to be bothered by that.







They are all his names. I guess my point is just that the people who are doing this might not realize that anyone would be offended by it.

I'm offended by it because my mom went out of her way several times to tell us how much she disliked the first name we chose. Also, part of the reason we chose it is that it is unusual, and the abbreviated form of her middle name (Ellie rather than Eliana) that my mom wanted to use instead is very popular right now. And finally, my first dd, who is 3, is just now starting to understand that her middle name is part of her name. If every single person in dd#2's life calls her Hazel, but grandma calls her Ellie, is she even going to realize that grandma is talking to her?


----------



## guerrillamama

Yeah, its clear that your mom is doing it on purpose and that's disrespectful. I don't think it is necessarily confusing, I know several people who grew up answering to multiple names - I think it's fairly common in multicultural families - and have never heard anyone say it was a bad thing. Anyway, like I said, it's your prerogative. Guess I just wanted to chime in as someone who's not bothered by it.


----------



## CryPixie83

On the name thing, I totally understand not wanting to confuse a child, but also you named your child a specific name and I totally see wanting people to use that name. Example, my friend has a son named James and if someone calls him Jim or Jimmy he will correct them because his name is James, not Jim. If the child *chooses* to be called something different that's a different story.

In a related story, my mom named my brother Richard (his father's first name) David, and we always called him David. When his grandparents took him away and adopted him (long, angering story) they switched it around because "it would confuse him"







My mom calls me Marie (it's my middle name) all the time, but I figure, she named me and I don't mind so it's ok. My mom also calls Kairi "Kai"... she's rather fond of nicknames and it's done respectfully so I don't mind. But if someone started calling her Rayne because they don't like the name Kairi I'd get pretty miffed.


----------



## chloeAnne

Can I just say, I looked at your daughters picture and Tallulah/Lula so fits her. I love it when you look at someone and their name fits them. Your daughter is beautiful.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lula's Mom*
Michelle, that's just weird.









To stay with the "unpopular name" theme, my MIL pitched a fit when we announced we'd chosen the name Tallulah, and that the baby would be called Lula. She didn't like it, and she decided she'd call her "Tulie" instead. "It will be my _special_ name for her!!" (OK, you think "Lula" is weird, but you like "Tulie"?







) Ex-DH told her she wouldn't be calling our baby anything but her name. Thank goodness she listened.

I had a sad conversation with a hair stylist last week. I sat down in her chair and forewarned her that my hair was really falling out because I had a 5-week-old baby. She said "Oh, yeah, I heard him crying. It sounded like you took his bottle away or something!" HAHA. I smiled and told her that he's never had a bottle. She said "Oh, you breastfeed? Did you see "Meet the Fockers?" I said no, I hadn't. She launched into a derogatory diatribe about a character in the movie who apparently was breastfeeding her 4-year-old (Gasp! The horror!) Her coworkers were shuddering and clucking their tongues in disapproval.

So I said "My 3-year-old is still nursing." Silence, her blank look turning to barely concealed shock and revulsion... She then told me "I couldn't breastfeed my daughter." Expecting some medical reason, I asked her why not, and she said *"That child was just too needy. I couldn't take her on me all the time."* My turn for the blank look and revulsion...

She went on to tell me how long she'd tried to conceive, how much she had wanted a baby, and that she named her "Amira", as in "A Miracle", because she was just a miracle baby. I thought, how sadly ironic that you found your "miracle baby" too freaking needy.


----------



## jayayenay

.


----------



## Faithsmom

While in the hospital after having my DD, my mother in law told me this whole story about how her aunts milk went bad (breastfeeding) and the baby got soooo sick... I need to be careful my milk doesn't go bad....... uuuummmmm........ I didn't really have a comeback for that one, it was so absurd!!!!! (maybe I should store my boobs in the fridge????)


----------



## artgoddess

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Faithsmom*
While in the hospital after having my DD, my mother in law told me this whole story about how her aunts milk went bad (breastfeeding) and the baby got soooo sick... I need to be careful my milk doesn't go bad....... uuuummmmm........ I didn't really have a comeback for that one, it was so absurd!!!!! (maybe I should store my boobs in the fridge????)

That is too funny, and yet so sad at the same time. A friend of mine had a little one who was not gaining weight well, and she pumped and pumped to keep track of how much her babe was eating. At around 6 months she wound up going to formula (it didn't change the wieght gain, she just has a little girl). She told me that her milk was going bad, it had started turning colors. I asked her "Is it blue?" She said yes, and I had to tell her that was perfectly normal. What's worse is this woman had been to a lactation consultant a few times, and she just didn't know. <sigh> I wish education for nursing moms was more redily available.


----------



## helene.p

My MIL told me that I would have to cut all the feet bottoms off of the one piece baby pajamas or else the baby would not grow~~

I told her that I wore them until I was 7 years old and I obviously did not have a problem growing!!

I laugh about that one everyday~~


----------



## Lula's Mom

chloeAnne, thank you! What a nice thing to say. She is a Lula, no doubt. After all of that, my MIL actually loves her name now (although that's probably because she gets so many compliments on "her grandbaby" 's name.

guerrillamama- you know, it's just, we spent a lot of time choosing a name that had meaning for us, and we love it. Lula is who she _is._ And MIL made it clear that she disliked the name enough to want to basically rename *our* daughter before she was even born! Nope, sorry! Now, I actually love the whole "special name" thing among relatives, if it comes about naturally and with love. To this day my older sister calls me nothing but "Critter". :LOL

jayayenay, that's even sadder, isn't it? Now I guess I have to watch the movie.


----------



## cinnamonamon

I know they're cliched (at least here), but I got 3 comments today within the space of 5 minutes! I figured you could all laugh with me...

We were at a little Chinese restaurant and the lady in the booth directly in front of me (in her 60's or a bit older, I think) started by making a few "oohing" and "aahing" comments. Then she asked if he was sleeping through the night (at 5 weeks?! -- she had already asked his age). Of course when I said no she was quick to offer that I could feed him some cereal...blah blah... She commented on how great it was to see fathers taking care of their babies (he walked/bounced him while I ate first







), but when i mentioned something about him being fussy, she said "oh, you aren't spoiling him, are you?"







:LOL

If it wasn't obvious that she was sooo excited about seeing an itty bitty, I may have been annoyed, but it really just amused me.


----------



## Faithsmom

My MIL also said (this is the same woman that told me about milk going BAD) that my DH LOOOVED that she put rice in his bottle because he was "always hungry and wouldn't sleep through the night". She told me she also intoroduced solids this way.. "I used to put formula, rice and his jar of baby food in a bottle, shake it up and give it to him... I had to cut a big hole in the nipple though.... then he would lay in front of the t.v. and eat" she said to me. Can you imagine how my eyes popped out of my head???????
What's wrong w/ these people??

Oh yeah... and when she saw my DD in cloth diapers she asked "what, you don't have money for regular diapers??? Do you need money?"








I told her no... and actually I prefer cloth diapers. She still didn't understand.


----------



## ian'smommaya

yes yes dear mother in law i do need money for diapers. (you don't have to mention which cloth one's you've been eyeing.)

lol.
maya


----------



## tayndrewsmama

Answering the question of the worst thing anyone has ever said was when dd was 7 mos old and we had given her rice cereal (I know, dumb) mixed w/breastmilk. After the third time she had it, we had to take her to the ER from a severe reaction to it. The ER doc said "Next time (as if there would be a next time idiot!), you better not mix it with breastmilk. Try apple juice or something. She's probably allergic to the breastmilk."







All I could say was "Whatever, I suppose since that's the only thing that has kept her alive since birth, it couldn't possibly be the rice cereal!"

tayndrewsmama


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tayndrewsmama*
The ER doc said "Next time (as if there would be a next time idiot!), you better not mix it with breastmilk. Try apple juice or something. She's probably allergic to the breastmilk."

What??? OMG What an idiot. I know drs dont get much training on infant nutrition and breastfeeding, but I thought for sure they couldn't graduate med school without some degree of common sense!


----------



## Aura_Kitten

Quote:

when dd was 7 mos old and we had given her rice cereal (I know, dumb) mixed w/breastmilk

why is this dumb? my daughter just turned 6 months old and loves rice cereal (( mixed with breastmilk, of course.







)) ...


----------



## Vegarchist

I am so glad this thread is still going, this is my new favorite:

_"If you nurse him every time he's upset, you'll give him an eating disorder."_

"Mom, that's ridiculous."

_"Well your teaching him that whenever he's upset, he should eat."_

"Mom, nursing isn't just about eating. Besides, if everytime your upset you eat the healthiest thing in the world for you, that's hardly an eating disorder."

Like I'm giving the boy a twinkie whenever he cries


----------



## willowsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Vegarchist*
Like I'm giving the boy a twinkie whenever he cries









Teehee...

The dumbest thing I heard was over the holidays...Willow was taking a nap and woke up and was crying...I was told by my mom...

"Where are you going?"

"Umm, to get my daughter she's up and wants out of bed."

"Ohh, sit down, she doesn't need you."

If I could have perfected the WTF look that day....I think I may have. Just another of my mom's little jewels of wisdom. Ahhhh


----------



## jefnsean

So, I'm an American living overseas. I expect to hear the usual things from other Americans living here (that just don't know any better). I also hoped to be able to pick up on the local wisdom as well.

I was told by one American mom that she had to stop breastfeeding because her milk had too much air in it.









And when I mentioned to the Portuguese dry cleaner that DD wasn't sleeping though the night yet, she asked me if I had hung her clothes outside in the moonlight yet...







Apparently, if I hang DD's clothes in the light of the waxing moon, the quality of the clothing will change. I should hang the clothes every night until the full moon, and then bring them in just before the moon starts to wane. Then, my daughter will sleep through the night.









And of course, MIL is certain that starting solids will help DD sleep through the night.

I'm not putting up a clothesline just to hang DD's clothes in the moonlight. And solids did nothing but make sweet baby poo toxic! LOL


----------



## ian'smommaya

the moon thing i might try...maybe that why ian has been waking up in the middle of the night lately. hmmmm things to ponder.
maya


----------



## captain optimism

Quote:


Originally Posted by *willowsmom*
Teehee...

The dumbest thing I heard was over the holidays...Willow was taking a nap and woke up and was crying...I was told by my mom...

"Where are you going?"

"Umm, to get my daughter she's up and wants out of bed."

"Ohh, sit down, she doesn't need you."

If I could have perfected the WTF look that day....I think I may have. Just another of my mom's little jewels of wisdom. Ahhhh

Yes, I get this thing with both my mom and my MIL. My son can ask for what he wants in pretty plain English now, he's nearly two years old. If he wants to read a book, he will come toward me with the book saying, "read! read!" My MIL on her last visit actually told me, as my son climbed into my lap with a book saying "Read!", "He doesn't want you to read to him anymore, he just wants to get down and play."

Ohhhhhhh, okay.


----------



## jefnsean

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ian'smommaya*
the moon thing i might try...maybe that why ian has been waking up in the middle of the night lately. hmmmm things to ponder.
maya









Let me know if it works. I guess if it does, I'll have to buy some clothesline!


----------



## vancouverlori

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jefnsean*
And when I mentioned to the Portuguese dry cleaner that DD wasn't sleeping though the night yet, she asked me if I had hung her clothes outside in the moonlight yet...







Apparently, if I hang DD's clothes in the light of the waxing moon, the quality of the clothing will change. I should hang the clothes every night until the full moon, and then bring them in just before the moon starts to wane. Then, my daughter will sleep through the night.

ya know, that might actually be very sage advice - just think about it: a mom, desperate to get a good night's sleep, tries to organize this moonlight thing, and dang it, she can never quite complete the regime - she misses a night, it rains, etc. Meanwhile, she knows she'll get it done soon, so she's more patient with her baby's night wakings, and maybe even cherishing them a little knowing they won't last long... A patience tactic if you will! I wonder what wise woman or medicine man thought that up...


----------



## jefnsean

You know, vancouverlori, I was just telling my mom that was an ingenious way to get moms to wait at least 14 more days!

I was just astounded to hear such a story - because I had never heard anything like it before.


----------



## mandalamama

so far we've been lucky to not get much dumb stuff thrown our way, people usually just go on and on about how cute she is







but for some reason people keep saying "are you going to keep her?" especially older women. some new saying going around? i hadn't heard that one before. i know they're joking, but it gets old!


----------



## guerrillamama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mellybean*
so far we've been lucky to not get much dumb stuff thrown our way, people usually just go on and on about how cute she is







but for some reason people keep saying "are you going to keep her?" especially older women. some new saying going around? i hadn't heard that one before. i know they're joking, but it gets old!

as a birthmother (placed my first baby in an open adoption 9 yrs ago) i REALLY REALLY hate that. i know people are joking, but the implication is that there is something wrong with the baby you don't keep. if people knew my history they wouldn't say this. so i just wish people would stop saying it, it's not funny.


----------



## StarMama

Alrighty, gotta add one my HUSBAND said!

He's REALLY pushing CIO now. REALLY thinks its the best idea in the world, ect after speaking to a couple of customers who let their children around Orion's age cry and got them to sleep through the night after 3 nights (first night they cried 5 hours straight!







).

Anyways, he argues that Orion will NEVER sleep through the night, and will be waking to breastfeed and take bottles (ah the joy of never producing enough milk, he LOVES his bottles still) FOREVER. I looked at him and said "Really? He's going to be waking to nurse when he's 18?" very sarcastically, in the hopes of getting him to understand what a stupid statement he was making. Well Dh looks at me, and says, totally humorously "You never know!"

OMG. Seriously. I *know* he's just trying every single thing he can to get me to let Orion CIO, but come ON.


----------



## cinnamonamon

Lisa -- my ds has slept from 10 pm - 7 am 3 times in the last week -- he turns 2 on Monday! There is hope! The only thing we have done is encouraged nightweaning (well, it didn't work totally, but it did discourage some of the waking). Maybe you could try something like that? I'd also find the link to that Harvard study about CIO harming children. Perhaps you could say "I'd rather be a little sleep deprived than to alter my ds's personality for the worse!" Good luck -- it's hard when dh isn't on the same page as you!


----------



## Caroline248

I finally have one good enough to add...

My neighbor, who is due with her 2cd baby anyday now, was talking to me about not being pregnant anymore(how she is ready to be done).

Her: I just want to have my body back
Me: Yeah, but then you are nursing and you don't have it anyway
Her: Well, I am pretty sure I am not going to do that
Me: Hmmm, that is your choice.....although if you nurse you won't get your period back right away. I still don't have mine.
Her: WHAT??? You don't have your period yet?? That settles it, I am NOT nursing.
Me: Why?
Her: Because it is not natural to not get your period for so long...I can't force my body to do something so unnatural. You really should wean so your body can go back to doing what it is supposed to!!

WTF????? I have had countless conversations with her about nursing...she just won't do it. This just was unreal!

~C~


----------



## roseselene

Quote:


Originally Posted by *StarMama*
Alrighty, gotta add one my HUSBAND said!

He's REALLY pushing CIO now. REALLY thinks its the best idea in the world, ect after speaking to a couple of customers who let their children around Orion's age cry and got them to sleep through the night after 3 nights (first night they cried 5 hours straight!







).

Anyways, he argues that Orion will NEVER sleep through the night, and will be waking to breastfeed and take bottles (ah the joy of never producing enough milk, he LOVES his bottles still) FOREVER. I looked at him and said "Really? He's going to be waking to nurse when he's 18?" very sarcastically, in the hopes of getting him to understand what a stupid statement he was making. Well Dh looks at me, and says, totally humorously "You never know!"

OMG. Seriously. I *know* he's just trying every single thing he can to get me to let Orion CIO, but come ON.

Well....I still get up in the middle of the night almost every night to get something to drink....hmmm, maybe my mom should have used CIO on me.


----------



## artgoddess

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Caroline248*
I finally have one good enough to add...

My neighbor, who is due with her 2cd baby anyday now, was talking to me about not being pregnant anymore(how she is ready to be done).

Her: I just want to have my body back
Me: Yeah, but then you are nursing and you don't have it anyway
Her: Well, I am pretty sure I am not going to do that
Me: Hmmm, that is your choice.....although if you nurse you won't get your period back right away. I still don't have mine.
Her: WHAT??? You don't have your period yet?? That settles it, I am NOT nursing.
Me: Why?
Her: Because it is not natural to not get your period for so long...I can't force my body to do something so unnatural. You really should wean so your body can go back to doing what it is supposed to!!

~











OMG that takes the cake in just absurdity!


----------



## Mama Michelle

I have no idea what to say about that!!!!!!!!!!!!
OH btw, we weren't meant to have our cycles every month, but we all knew that.


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Caroline248*
Her: WHAT??? You don't have your period yet?? That settles it, I am NOT nursing.
Me: Why?
Her: Because it is not natural to not get your period for so long...I can't force my body to do something so unnatural. You really should wean so your body can go back to doing what it is supposed to!!





































:









Am I the only one who sees somehting wrong with that logic?


----------



## FancyPants

Didn't have time to read them all but these two types of comments always make me









Quote:

Oh, one of them also said that if you co-sleep, you will have no sex life. Whatever!
&

Quote:

You know, most women aren't actually able to breastfeed."
I always want to say "you know, you must be right - it's a good thing we have had formula and seperate beds for the last million years or we'd be extinct by now"


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *FancyPants*
I always want to say "you know, you must be right - it's a good thing we have had formula and seperate beds for the last million years or we'd be extinct by now"

:LOL


----------



## Cloth4Colin

MIL: "Your breastmilk isn't good enough for him...he needs cereal in a bottle."

DS was 5 WEEKS OLD at the time!!!


----------



## FancyPants

Thanks Crystal








I *really* needed *somebody* to laugh at at least one of my jokes this week.
Honest - It's really appreciated!








& yeah, it's been one of those weeks
CJ


----------



## tinuviel_k

When I took my little girl out for a stroll when she was 2 months old and it was 65 degrees, and a woman told me I was going to give my baby colic for walking around in *cold* weather. Um...ok.


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tinuviel_k*
When I took my little girl out for a stroll when she was 2 months old and it was 65 degrees, and a woman told me I was going to give my baby colic for walking around in *cold* weather. Um...ok.









Hmm... my dd is hot-blooded like her daddy, loves to sleep with the air conditioner on, fan blowing on her with no covers.... she must have that unnoticible colic









My mom was fussing at me to cover dd up on a windy day so the wind wouldn't "steal her breath" My dd laughs at the wind in her face...


----------



## cinnamonamon

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CryPixie83*
My dd laughs at the wind in her face...

Don't take this the wrong way, but I just had an image of this being said with an evil laugh after it! :LOL


----------



## Mummoth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CryPixie83*
My mom was fussing at me to cover dd up on a windy day so the wind wouldn't "steal her breath" My dd laughs at the wind in her face...

That happens to my DD! I just tried her on the baby swing at the park (shes 7 months) and it didn't go well. When she was going backwards, she was winding up to cry & when she went forwards, the wind in her face was making hertake a big gulp of air. She's done it other times, too... like when shes in her sling, family reunion style & I walk too fast, etc...


----------



## rowantree

When I had my first dd I was in the local coffee shop reading the paper and this woman came up and started yelling about ,"how could some woman leave a few weeks old baby with the likes of so young me" (at 23) I responded by telling her she was my baby and she didnt beleve me, she started going on and on about how wrong it was for woman to leave newborns with teenagers, luckily it was 'my' regular coffee shop and I had several peoplr come to my rescue.


----------



## mommyofshmoo

I was at a pediatrics lecture and heard this one:

A newborn had repeated pneumonia and seemed to have asthma, had been given several rounds of corticosteroids and antibiotics. Finally somebody did some exploratory imaging of the bronchi.

The child had some cotton lodged in it's airway.

It had inhaled it because mom and shoved cotton balls in it's mouth to muffle the sounds of it's cries.

The truly sad thing is that the pediatricians seemed to agree that this was not child abuse, just stupidity. We live in such an anti-child society that blatantly neglectful behavio is overlooked as simple ignorance.


----------



## User101

When Thing One was a baby my MIL kept insisting we put a hat... a sweater.. a warmer shirt... whatever on him because "he must be cold."
He was fine.
DH finally offered to get *her* a sweater if she was cold, but told her the baby was fine!
Annette


----------



## Aura_Kitten

mommyofshmoo that is so awful!


----------



## Childishgoth

I dont know if one similar to this has been posted because i just found this thread. but my mom calls me every other day to beg me to give my son water. (this started at 2 months and he is 3 months) she says she wakes up every night with nightmares about how thirsty the baby must be. after all when she is thirsty she dosnt want milk she wants a tall glass of cold water. so i should give the baby a bottle full of "cold" water three tiems a day!!!!
So I keep trying to explain to her that babies do great with just breastmilk, so now she calls and swears the baby is trying to tell her in her dreams that he needs water.

*fanke sniff* why isnt my baby using his super powers to talk to me in my dreams?? hehe


----------



## User101

Oh my goodness.

Could you print out or show her in a book where it says you absolutely should not give a baby water because it can screw with his electrolytes and make him very ill? Think of what the baby would tell her in her dreams if he was sick...
Annette

PS- That must have been your baby talking to me in my dream last night. He says he wants to nurse.


----------



## Childishgoth

hehehe my baby just talkes to everyone in their dreams hu? haha
to be honest i dont know what to do with my mom any more, i feel like just cutting off ties at times. its like she thinks its impossible i can be a good mother. I have sent her two articles about water told her our doctor and both of my midwives said NO NO NO to water but she just think shes knows best. now she is all pissed off (and im not exagerating here) because i wont add solids yet. after all my brother was a fussy baby and she use to give him more apple sause than milk when he was young and look how healthy he is now! (BTW... that one is a lie.. i mean not to speak ill but my brother is a BIG boy.. if you now what i mean) blah.. im better stop im going to turn a funny thread in to a sad one!


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HomebirthHarriett*
That happens to my DD! I just tried her on the baby swing at the park (shes 7 months) and it didn't go well. When she was going backwards, she was winding up to cry & when she went forwards, the wind in her face was making hertake a big gulp of air. She's done it other times, too... like when shes in her sling, family reunion style & I walk too fast, etc...

Oh, I didn't mean that it wasn't true for most (any) babies, but the fact that she kept telling me after I had already *shown her* how much dd loves the wind was just aggrevating. Of course my mom also pushed chocolate on dd because "its christmas"


----------



## broodymama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Childishgoth*
after all when she is thirsty she dosnt want milk she wants a tall glass of cold water. so i should give the baby a bottle full of "cold" water three tiems a day!!!!

next time she says this just go and drink a glass of water yourself and say "there, now the baby has water!"


----------



## RosieTook

Quote:

It had inhaled it because mom and shoved cotton balls in it's mouth to muffle the sounds of it's cries.
That is just horrifying!!







: Wow...I am speechless...


----------



## Childishgoth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LadyBug & BabyBug*
next time she says this just go and drink a glass of water yourself and say "there, now the baby has water!"











hahahhaa if only i was that brave.


----------



## YogaMama04

These are great!

From my own mom:

"He's going to turn out gay from you breastfeeding him!"

"The reason he is so active is because you held him all the time as a baby and he fed off your kinetic energy." (as if there is something wrong with an active baby)

"Just look at his eyes....he knows what you're trying to do and he's already manipulating you into not doing it" (when he wouldn't take a pacifier)


----------



## shishkeberry

Quote:

"He's going to turn out gay from you breastfeeding him!"
I have heard that a couple of times, and it just baffles me. How on earth do these people think the human race survived if all the men born before this century were gay?







:


----------



## our veggie baby

Hiya gals!!

I have been reading this thread for about an hour now and I have been laughing so hard (and nearly crying at the same time) over some of the comments people have!!!!

We are pregnant with our first, a daughter, and we are SO excited, but ALREADY we have gotten some doozies...

Mom: I was putting rice cereal in ALL your bottles from 3 weeks on and you turned out "fine"...(she had 4 kids)

Let me mention we were all formula fed because to her breastfeeding wasn't "natural"...HUH??????

MIL: I am not a fan of spanking but I won't hesitate to spank if it is for thier safety!

HUH??? I *kinda* knew what she meant in a roundabout way, but that statement is SO ludicrous to me!

MIL: Co-sleepng is fine, but you have to move them to their crib the minute they know where they are (i guess she meant when they are aware or something)[email protected] one....

MOM: you BETTER tell your doctor you plan on raising her vegan!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, cool mom, but I have been a strict vegtarian (about 90% vegan even) for 10 years, and I am still alive...and healthy...

Mom: what's wrong with taking her to McDonalds for just a small fries and to play??----okay, knowing I am a HUGE animal rights activist who has protested McDonalds and everything they stand for, for years....

MIL: Breastfeeding is fine for a few months....

Whaaaa? Okay, if by a few you mean like, 24 lol

Those are just a few....gotta love the Moms and MIL...I am TRYING so hard to master the good ol' "smile and nod"...then just doing whatever me and hubby want anyway...it is almost useless to argue...


----------



## Childishgoth

OMG we just got a great one for our ped today!!

ped: so it says your breastfeeding
me: yes
ped: but he is 4 months now
me: yes
*ped stands there staring at m*
me: so are we done?
ped: why are you breastfeeding him at 4 months?
me: because he gets hungry??
Ped: but breastfeeding is only benifitial for the first 2 months.
me: Okay we are going to leave now.

haha i was putting the babies clothes on on the way to the car, my dh joined us later laughing his head off. he said the dr didnt say a single word to him just sood there.


----------



## User101

Oh my gosh- tell me you are serious and you really walked out on him.

ROTFLMAO!

Annette


----------



## our veggie baby

WOAH...I would NOT being going to that ped. AGAIN....

What is this, 1956????

that absolutely amazes me!! I mean, I know doctors aren't perfect and make a lot of weirdo suggestions etc, but saying that about breastfeeding?? I am shocked really!!


----------



## heldt123

Holy Cow! Is there really a doctor out there that is that ignorant? Good for you, I probably would have walked out too. :LOL


----------



## Mummoth

maybe he got his months/years mixed up?


----------



## pjlioness

When ds#1 was nearing two, MIL asked what kind of winter coat, etc we were going to get for him. I said I wasn't sure, and she asked what are his friends had in a way that suggested she thought he would want the same type they had. I told her they had whatever their moms got for them. At two, I didn't see many of them having much preference.

Now ds#1 is four, but not using the potty yet. During a discussion of ds and his disinterest in the potty, MIL asks if his classmates have said anything about it to him. (We go to the Parent/child class at our local Waldorf school.) She seems to think that maybe his friends teasing him might help! I told her that none of the kids has said anything, nor had I ever seen any teasing in his school.

I went through years of being on the bottom of the totem pole at school and being treated like crap. I can't see teasing/peer pressure being good for my kiddos. Nor do I believe they are inevitable.


----------



## cinnamonamon

Quote:


Originally Posted by *our veggie baby*
WOAH...I would NOT being going to that ped. AGAIN....

What is this, 1956????

that absolutely amazes me!! I mean, I know doctors aren't perfect and make a lot of weirdo suggestions etc, but saying that about breastfeeding?? I am shocked really!!


I'm not -- my husband's brother just graduated from nursing school a year or two ago & he was told, "breastfeeding really isn't any better or worse than formula, but we usually encourage it for the first few months at least to help mother-infant bonding." Humppfh


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cinnamonamon*
I'm not -- my husband's brother just graduated from nursing school a year or two ago & he was told, "breastfeeding really isn't any better or worse than formula, but we usually encourage it for the first few months at least to help mother-infant bonding." Humppfh









WTF???


----------



## Childishgoth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie*
Oh my gosh- tell me you are serious and you really walked out on him.

ROTFLMAO!

Annette


oh im not kidding, and the only thing that made me feel bad was i was still putting on y sons clothes in the parking lot and it was cold out







- blah +8i give up on doctors.. if hes not sick im not bothering.. and even then he has to be really sick not just cranky!


----------



## supervee

FIL told us DS needed a bottle of water after nursing...because don't you want a glass of water after ice cream?

My grandmother said DS was just "talking" when he started crying and how much she loved to hear a baby "talk."

Another grandma said that we should use disposable diapers because they were much more absorbent and prevented diaper rash (I think this was "absorbed" from a Pampers commercial!)

I hope we don't sound this silly when we are the older generation.









Worse, though, the fire fighter who came to inspect our house when DS was first born, for the "Welcome Baby" program, told me not to cosleep because he had gone to a fire call where the baby had died in the bed, and he thought it was because the mother had such large breasts she smothered him. That one made me mad. I imagine he was telling all the new moms in town this story and his theory!


----------



## Aura_Kitten

Quote:


Originally Posted by *supervee*
FIL told us DS needed a bottle of water after nursing...because don't you want a glass of water after ice cream?


:LOL

actually, i love coffee w/ my ice cream... so does that mean i should give Lyssi a bottle of coffee when she nurses?


----------



## paquerette

Quote:


Originally Posted by *supervee*
Worse, though, the fire fighter who came to inspect our house when DS was first born, for the "Welcome Baby" program, told me not to cosleep because he had gone to a fire call where the baby had died in the bed, and he thought it was because the mother had such large breasts she smothered him. That one made me mad. I imagine he was telling all the new moms in town this story and his theory!

And how many fires has he been to where the baby was sleeping in another room and no one could get to him to get him out in time?


----------



## Ravin

Childishgoth, you should have sent him a copy of "Milk Money and Madness" in place of his fee. Or maybe just some basic LLL info...

I'd have told him to his face just how appalling I found his ignorance. Then repeated myself in his lobby. ugh. Did you call and report him to the medical board that licensed him to ask why he's such a moron?


----------



## mollyeilis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Welovedante*
Oh Molly, how awful.

I'm asian, my hubby's white, and our son looks asian. He takes care of little Dante, and we live in NC - he has been asked on a few separate occasions, "Is that really your baby?" followed up by "are you sure?" *sigh*

Gosh, between the comments given about your white husband and Asian-looking son, my Asian hubby and white-looking son...looks like we can't win!


----------



## boingo82

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Welovedante*
Oh Molly, how awful.

I'm asian, my hubby's white, and our son looks asian. He takes care of little Dante, and we live in NC - he has been asked on a few separate occasions, "Is that really your baby?" followed up by "are you sure?" *sigh*

How funny, I know another Dante who's half asian, but it's his dad who's from Hong Kong. It's a cute name.


----------



## mollyeilis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kitten*
My MIL was told by her ped that my DH would be "retarded" because he had a small head at his 1 yr checkup. She was in hysterics and flew back to her hometown on the east coast to talk to DH's original ped there. He said the new ped was an idiot and her son was fine. Which he is. He just has a small head. DS has a small head too, so I made sure to tell this story to his ped and his nurse. They thought it was a riot and reassured me that there is NOTHING wrong with our son. Some doctors are just idiots (and tactless as well - can you imagine telling someone that their son will be "retarded?!")

Backstory: My cousin was taking her son to see some renowned ped in the Daytona Beach area...he has berated her about every decision she's made. Her son (just like her, her father, and his mother, and that's as far back as they know for sure) was born with cataracts, and this pediatrician was telling them to have surgery from day one. She takes him to a deservedly renowned eye surgery center in Orlando, and there they actually KNOW what they are talking about. Heck, my cousin was the subject of a lot of groundbreaking surgeries...SHE knows more than this pediatrician about congenital cataracts.

Anyway, because he couldn't break her will with eyes, suddenly he started freaking out about her son's head measurement. Now, my aunt and cousin have measured his head repeatedly, and no matter how they try or how they measure, they cannot get the same measurement he reported. There's nothing wrong with the little guy. But this pediatrician seemingly panicked, said there was nothing they could do for him (but come in monthly for CAT scans and MRIs to monitor it), and that not only would he not develop, but, you know, he wouldn't make it.

This off of ONE measurement that could not be replicated.

augh!


----------



## mollyeilis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Childishgoth*
I dont know if one similar to this has been posted because i just found this thread. but my mom calls me every other day to beg me to give my son water. (this started at 2 months and he is 3 months) she says she wakes up every night with nightmares about how thirsty the baby must be. after all when she is thirsty she dosnt want milk she wants a tall glass of cold water. so i should give the baby a bottle full of "cold" water three tiems a day!!!!

Was she having babies in the early 70s? I ask because my MIL gave her babies a full bottle of water in the morning from infancy on. The pediatrician told her to do it, that it was necessary.

So now that I flipped on her for giving DS a teaspoon of water, I think she might be feeling a little bit bad.

That said, I've read that with the OLD style of formula, extra water was indeed needed. And honestly, I think that the doctors got all mixed up, thinking water was *always* needed, even with babies that weren't being fed formula. And then the info is passed along by mothers who don't want to feel guilty for what they did to us/our partners, and it all just comes out here.


----------



## mollyeilis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *our veggie baby*
Mom: what's wrong with taking her to McDonalds for just a small fries and to play??----okay, knowing I am a HUGE animal rights activist who has protested McDonalds and everything they stand for, for years....

Ah, yes, those innocent McD's fries, the ones with lard sprayed on them pre-packaging...

Ugh.


----------



## Childishgoth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mollyeilis*
Was she having babies in the early 70s?
l

ya my brother was born in 72 so i guess when i was born 10 years later she just followed the same advice she had gotten before. she had a screwy doctor even convinced her my brother was allergic to her breast milk some doctors are just evil!!


----------



## cinnamonamon

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Childishgoth*
she had a screwy doctor even convinced her my brother was allergic to her breast milk some doctors are just evil!!

You don't know many times I've heard this!


----------



## NYCVeg

I just wanted to tell you all what a kick I've been getting out of this thread for the last week! Some of these actually made me cry, I was laughing so hard. So many things to look forward to.









I'll add one of my own:
My sister's ped told her that she only "needed" to bf for the first 3 months, because babies don't get any benefits after that.

She believed him--can't wait until she finds out that I'm planning on EBF when I have kids!

She had some legitimate trouble bfing b/c of an inverted nipple on one side. At the hospital, they recommended putting formula on that breast to "get the baby interested". This sounds totally ludicrous to me...am I right here?

Anyway, thanks for the laughs all!


----------



## Mummoth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NYCVeg*
She had some legitimate trouble bfing b/c of an inverted nipple on one side. At the hospital, they recommended putting formula on that breast to "get the baby interested". This sounds totally ludicrous to me...am I right here?


Absolutely, you're right! A *good* suggestion would be to hand express a few drops of colostrum to get the baby interested.

It's also important to delay the babies bath until after at least a few good nusing sessions. The mongomery tubercles (bumpy things on the pigmented area around the nipple) release an oil which smells & (and presumably tastes) the same as amniotic fluid, which the baby has been drinking for months. The baby is drawn to the familiar smell. Lactating breasts are also a few degrees warmer than the rest of the mothers body, so it's a very appealing part of the mothers body for a baby.


----------



## Childishgoth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cinnamonamon*
You don't know many times I've heard this!









is that even possible?


----------



## paquerette

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NYCVeg*
She had some legitimate trouble bfing b/c of an inverted nipple on one side. At the hospital, they recommended putting formula on that breast to "get the baby interested". This sounds totally ludicrous to me...am I right here?

Ahhh they did this to me, too! It was the night nurse (the night ones were obnoxious for some reason) the first night, and we were having trouble getting the left side latched without fussiness. She decided that I had a flat nipple and needed a dab of formula, and if she didn't latch on soon, she'd need to be cup fed formula soon. The first night! And the right side was going just fine! I was way too groggy to protest much, but I tried to wipe it off with her cheek before I latched her. Sigh.

The hospital touts itself as bf friendly, but it was hit or miss with the staff. The LC is great, some of the nurses were great. But I did get the dreaded sample bag.







Oh well, there's a lot of space for writing on my patient satisfaction survey.


----------



## cinnamonamon

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Childishgoth*
is that even possible?

They can be allergic to something IN the mother's milk; but not the milk itself...


----------



## Mama Michelle

MY cousin had a baby in September, her daughter was 4 weeks early and even though they both tried DD would not latch on. So my cousin pumped and feed it to her baby. Her dd vomited several times and the Dr's told my cousin that her dd was allergic to her breast milk and that she shouldn't BF! ANd my cousin believed them! I did some quick research and told her that dd probably wasn't allergic and to keep trying.
Her dd has acid reflux and has to be on some special formula and a TON of meds, but my cousin still pumps and mixes her BM with the formula and rice cereal. She's been wanting to try BF but can't afford a LC in CA. She saw one once and it cost them $90.
I was so ANGRY when she was telling me all this. I did them best I could to support her from CO, but I could only do so much. My cousin was set on BF and I can't believe that she was told not to.


----------



## mamabear&babybear

This is a great thread. I am still working on reading all 40 some pages but thought I would add some of my own.

MIL: She has said a couple things. 1. I was holding my dd the other night. She was getting tired and pretty cranky. She started crying and my mil says "I think she is saying she wants her grandma." I'm pretty sure that wasn't it, because I let her hold my dd and she started crying harder. At least now I can say for sure that she wants her mom and keep her with me. She says things like that all the time. It drives me crazy.







2. I have postpartum hypothyroidism and am taking medication. After my dh told her about it she went online and started researching it for me.







: She mentioned that it causes bone loss. As I was preparing to say that I wouldn't be on it long my wonderful dh says "It's better than being in a coma."

FIL: This was well intentioned but still... He has a step-daughter that used formula, so he was able to feed the baby. I ebf so he couldn't feed my dd. He says "I sure miss having a baby that uses a bottle because it calms them down."









SILs: 2 of my SILs were told by there obs that they couldn't bf because they have inverted nipples.









My dad once told me while I was on the phone with him that I shouldn't pick my dd up when she was crying. She needs to figure it out for herself and I shouldn't spoil her. I'm still not sure what "it" is. I think if attending to a four month old's needs is spoiling them then may all babies in this world be spoiled rotten.









Lastly I had a sweet elderly woman tell me that I had a healthy baby because her cheeks were pink. At the time we were taking a walk on a cold, brisk day. :LOL


----------



## nhklh

I have a couple of MIL ones....

MIL has said that DS was a "sooky baby" when he got upset because she took him into a room at her work without DP or I to see someone he doesn't know and of course he got very upset. Made me soooo mad!

Another one... I was holding DS & she was leaving so she leaned in to him and said "give me a kiss". DS buried his face in my shoulder, which is what he does when he wants to get out of a situation, kind of like what some dogs do when they feel threatened "if I can't see you then you're not there". MIL says "oh, he doesn't mean it". Ummm, yeah he DOES. Just because he can't talk doesn't mean he can't communicate, and "I don't want you near me" is exactly what he was saying with his body language! I will not force DS to endure physical contact that he clearly is not ok with!


----------



## Melissa S

I've been trying to remember a MIL one for a long time and you jogged my memory..... DD was just over one year old and I was expressing to my MIL that I was having some frustrations with nursing - DD was beginning to eat alot more solids and my supply was adjusting thus it was taking longer for me to let down. DD was frustrated with this as well. Bear in mind that MIL has been a registered nurse for about 40 years. MIL says, "she shouldn't be needing to nurse now anyway, she's getting all she needs in the food she eats". I gave her a little lecture and she ended up giving up the arguement. She's been trying to convince me I don't need to BF anymore for months now. DD is 18 months old. I'm always amazed at the kind of stuff she comes up with. I think sometimes she relies more on old wives tales than her education, LOL. No offence mom! I still love you!


----------



## paquerette

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamabear&babybear*
2. I have postpartum hypothyroidism and am taking medication. After my dh told her about it she went online and started researching it for me.







: She mentioned that it causes bone loss. As I was preparing to say that I wouldn't be on it long my wonderful dh says "It's better than being in a coma."

I think it's the (untreated or undertreated) hypothyroidism that can cause bone loss, not the medication itself. A lot of the "side effects" given for levothyroxine are really effects of not taking enough, or taking too much.


----------



## cancat

from MIL:

"I heard (she's prefaces everything with this so it sounds more important) that you're supposed to stop BF when they can bite ya"

"I heard that to stop a baby crying you're supposed to blow in your ear"

"Your baby doesn't sleep enough. They're supposed to have a long nap in the morning, a long one in the afternoon, and a couple hour long naps throughout the day" Umm, when is the baby supposed to be awake? I told her this must be a formula thing...

"She doesn't sleep long stretches at night? Have you talked with her doctor about supplementing so SHE can get some rest"

re: delayed solids " (in a sarcastic tone) it's amazing so many babies survived before the strict regimen they have them on nowadays" Umm, yes, breastfeeding is some wacky new-age regimen, right...

Plus, my baby is cranky because she's too cold all the time. If only the solution were that easy!


----------



## the_lissa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cancat*

re: delayed solids " (in a sarcastic tone) it's amazing so many babies survived before the strict regimen they have them on nowadays" Umm, yes, breastfeeding is some wacky new-age regimen, right...

Plus, my baby is cranky because she's too cold all the time. If only the solution were that easy!

I hate this. People never used to give babies solids before a year until a hundred years ago. Amazing that they all survived


----------



## Caroline248

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cancat*
from MIL:

re: delayed solids " (in a sarcastic tone) it's amazing so many babies survived before the strict regimen they have them on nowadays" Umm, yes, breastfeeding is some wacky new-age regimen, right...

!


My MIL has the same attitude...I told her it was amazing the human race survived before formula, what with all the moms that CAN'T breastfeed!!

~C~


----------



## cyrusmama

Ohh there are soo many









My favorites (or least):

Standing in line at the Dollar Store holding ds (3 months at the time) behind a woman who is holding her child off the ground by one of his arms







: When we get up to checkout, the lady working says to my DH about me "She's awful protective isn't she, she won't be like that with the next one." wtf?

In the grocery store today ds is getting fussy, some woman walks by and says "Stop pinching that baby" smart aleck that I am...I ask'd if she wanted to be next. (One of my biggest irks)

Worse person is my mother:
Asked every time he fusses, "Is he hungry?"
Everytime I wear the sling "Do you want me to hold him?"
In the car (which ds hates so cries) "Don't worry grandma wouldn't keep you in that mean old car seat".....Exactly why mommy wouldn't consider leaving you with grandma...

ETA, I too hate that "well, I think he just wants grandma" crap. No, I am pretty sure he wants a boobie and a nap...not grandma.

Oh, and I avoid having DH's grandma near him at meal times cause she tries to feed ds mashed potatoes and gravy and pretty much anything else considered somewhat mushy or mush-able.







: Despite the fact that dh, MIL, and I have all told her we are doing a very gradual intro to solids because MIL has severe food allergies.


----------



## boingo82

DH's grandma: "He's such a good baby! You must spoil him!" (winks)
DH: "We sure do. That's what babies are for afterall."
DH's grandma: "I always liked to carry my babies everywhe..."
DH's aunt interrupts: "YEAH - you'll spoil the FIRST one. But the next one you wont."


----------



## mamameg

In an effort to justify CIO, a friend told me, "Babies still love you in the morning even if you let them cry the night before... they have no cummulative experience, so they don't remember it at all."

No cummulative experience??? How on earth would babies ever learn ANYTHING if they didn't remember things and build cummulatively upon their experiences? So dumb.


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cyrusmama*
In the grocery store today ds is getting fussy, some woman walks by and says "Stop pinching that baby" smart aleck that I am...I ask'd if she wanted to be next. (One of my biggest irks)

omg I HATE that comment! My mil says that- she started saying it when dd was a week old- you just don't say that kind of crap to a woman who has just given birth! I wanted to scream and cry because she was so insensitive. Being a mama has really altered my view of my mil (and sil too for that matter)

DD has been crying (tired, away from home and just over-stimulated) and I was trying to calm her down, after about 3 minutes MIL just *takes* her out of my arms. WTF? Another time, dd was fussing, MIL went to take her, I told her "no, I can handle her" and two minutes later takes her, doesn't ask and just walks into the other room with her. Of course what does dp do for me? NOTHING. Doesn't even tell his mother to mind her steps, doesn't say a damn word to her







:

Can't we just send MILs to an island somewhere? Just part time


----------



## Childishgoth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CryPixie83*
Can't we just send MILs to an island somewhere? Just part time










hey now be care full one day you will be a mil


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Childishgoth*
hey now be care full one day you will be a mil

*sigh*
I know, but I like to think I will have more tact and be more thoughtful than my mil







Maybe I'll just send *my* mil to an island... ahh I'm a daydreamer.


----------



## Corvus

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cyrusmama*
In the grocery store today ds is getting fussy, some woman walks by and says "Stop pinching that baby" smart aleck that I am...I ask'd if she wanted to be next.

UGH. My father says that too. ALL THE TIME. Ever since I was a kid/teenager, if I was holding a relative's baby, and the baby started to cry, he'd say to me, "Stop pinching that baby!" while laughing. I'd get all defensive and say, "I'm NOT!" Then I'd give the baby back to the mother because I realized that's who the baby wanted. But talk about undermining my confidence... I always felt like I must be doing something WRONG when holding a baby. So I was scared to be around babies.

He has even said it to me now that I have my own baby. Pisses me off. I don't know why he thinks the same "joke" is so funny after repeating it for at least 30 years and getting very few (if any) laughs.

Someone else brought up a MIL who takes her baby out of her arms. My father's wife, who has never had children of her own but thinks she knows everything about them, has done this to me a couple times. We were at their house, and my 16mo dd was overtired and crying. I was holding her, rubbing her back and talking softly to her. FW (father's wife) came over and took her from me. I tried holding on tight but realized my dd would get hurt, so I let go. I was so pissed. What does FW do? She takes her into the "office" where she keeps toys for the grandchildren. Leaves her there by herself. Know what else is in that room? A desk, a chair, a TREADMILL.

As soon as FW came back into the room ALONE, I was like, WTF? I got up to go get my dd, but before I got near the office, she was walking back to the living room. She headed straight for me, arms out and crying.

I felt vindicated.


----------



## jaam

This isn't really advice or anything, it was jsut a comment I got a few days ago that really made me mad:

Earlier this week dd had to go in to the hospital for an EEG test. (Where they put all kinds of wires on her head to monitor brainwaves while she sleeps.) Anyway, the whole thing was a huge disaster. Dd was scared, I couldn't get her to go to sleep like she was supposed to because she was so worked up, the nurses were completely insensitive to her needs, etc., etc. What really made me mad though was when they finally left and let me nurse her to calm her down and maybe get her to sleep. She had been so hysterical that I could tell it would take a while to get her actually calmed down enough to sleep. At one point I was sitting in the chair nursing (and it was obvious I was nursing) a nurse came in and asked if I'd like him to go across the hall to pediatrics and get a bottle for her. I said no. He insisted, saying, "are you sure, it's no trouble, I could just grab some Similac from around the corner". He's asking me this while I was nursing.








:


----------



## jenP

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AGrace584*
THe insisted, saying, "are you sure, it's no trouble, I could just grab some Similac from around the corner". He's asking me this while I was nursing.








:









Out of all 51 pages, this has GOT to be THE worst/dumbest!!! If you ever see that nurse again, tell him he won the prize.

Jen


----------



## Corvus

Wow, AGrace. It's so scary when health care professionals who work with babies just don't get it.

I think that LLL's breastfeeding book or even something more accessible like "So That's What They're For" should be required reading in all nursing and medical schools.


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AGrace584*
At one point I was sitting in the chair nursing (and it was obvious I was nursing) a nurse came in and asked if I'd like him to go across the hall to pediatrics and get a bottle for her. I said no. He insisted, saying, "are you sure, it's no trouble, I could just grab some Similac from around the corner". He's asking me this while I was nursing.
















wtf?

Hehe, "no thank you, I have breasts." would have been my reply.


----------



## jaam

I know, I wish I could have been coherent enough to say something like "no thanks, my boobs are working just fine". But I was so out of it... frustrated, etc that the comment merely stunned me. (And I'm not really all that witty anyway.) But on our way out they handed dh an envelope that I guess they give all their new patients that has some sort of survey or somethign in it to let them know what we thought of our experience there. I just remembered today that they gave that to us. So I think I'll send it back and let them know *exactly* what I thought of our experience.


----------



## ian'smommaya

good for you.
maya


----------



## boingo82

OH man I have got one for you.
Last night I was shutting down my work comp, it crashed halfway (Macintrash) so all the windows were closed but the desktop was up. The desktop is a pic of my DS, same pic as in my signature here.
Coworker walks by, pauses and looks at my desktop, and says,
*"Why does he have such a nasty face?"*

That, my friends, is a direct quote and I have witnesses.

Stunned pause from me....and then..
"He doesn't have a nasty face. That is just how his face looks."

Coworker pauses....and says,
"Well, couldn't you get him to smile for the picture!?!"

I just look at him. He walks out the door.

So, I guess that he meant "nasty expression" NOT "nasty face"...still a horrid thing to say, and my comment still stands....my baby does not have a nasty expression, he just has a pouty lip. It is ALWAYS pouty.
(AND backstory on this coworker, he likes me but I HATE him, he is utterly lacking in social niceties, he once told another coworker, "Too bad you're married, or you could date my son..." and helps himself to everyone else's food AFTER scratching his bare feet and he smells like dog food.


----------



## User101

Your baby is CUTE!!!
That guy was an idiot.
Annette


----------



## Corvus

boingo, your baby is adorable! I think his expression in that picture is priceless!

Your co-worker is an idiot.


----------



## jayayenay

.


----------



## boingo82

Thank you.








I'm not upset about it in a "hurt" way...just amazed! I am baffled how he could ever think that was an appropriate thing to say.
Besides, though not all babies are equally adorable, they ARE all precious, and I have never, EVER seen a baby I could use the word "nasty" on.
And this guy has 7 kids of his own! Who knows.








I thought everyone knew it's social taboo to say anything negative about babies, ESP in front of the parents.


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jayayenay*
Ugh! Who thinks that's funny? I guess the same people who, when I broke my wrist, kept telling DH to "stop beating up on your wife," or making comments about getting things straightened out with family protective services. I found it incredibly offensive and not at all funny that they were joking about domestic violence and implying that my loving husband hits me. I couldn't believe how many people said something like that.

How tactless.

I have tons of little bruises just above both of my elbows right now (dd is in a pinching phase and she does this while nursing), and I've joked to very close friends about df causing the bruises, BUT these are friends who understand how absurd the very idea of df doing anything remotely violent towards me are (df is the hugest teddy bear I know). But for people to joke about that is just plain rude.


----------



## bravofrenchie

boingo82, that's an ADORABLE pout!


----------



## boingo82

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bravofrenchie*
boingo82, that's an ADORABLE pout!









Thanks. We're suckers for it.


----------



## ryleeee

he's amazingly cute =)
i love his pouty lip. adorable.


----------



## Mummoth

Geesh! Everytime I've taken my kids for picutes I've actually said "If he pouts, take the picture anyway" because I think DS pout is particulary cute. I don't have a pouty picture of him, because he turns into a flirty liitle ham everytime... so I'm green with envy at that picture of your sweet pouty son. If anybody is nasty it's the guy who said that.


----------



## Kateana

I just want you all to know that I love and appreciate this thread so much. I am newly pregnant, and had decided not to tell my mom until it was impossible to hide anymore, b/c of all the stupid things she says about babies, etc. (I was raised by my dad.) I guess I thought I was going to be the only one to have to deal with stupid comments or something.







Anyways, now I am armed with good comebacks.


----------



## catgirl1007

What a great thread!!

My DD is dairy/soy intolerant. I was emailing one of my friends about this and explained that it's hard to eat out because my diet is limited, blah, blah, blah. She asked, "Well how long do you plan to breastfeed??" I told her that I didn't have a set date that I'll stop, but that I'm shooting for the end of this year which will be when my DD is 14 months. She said, "REALLY??? Wow, that really ties you down." HUH? Unfortunately I'm still suffering from pregnancy brain, so I didn't have a comeback for that one.

When I told my mom about DD's dairy/soy intolerance she asked, "Why don't you just give her formula?" Eeeee Gads!!! No comeback for that one either. MIL asked the same question.









This is the most bothersome question I've had to date and it happened when DD was 1 day old. The nurse came into my hospital room and DH was just picking DD up off of me to put her little shirt back on. The nurse asked, "Why is this baby naked?!" (in a very accusatory tone). I told her that we had just gotten done with some kangaroo time (which they advocate BTW). And he wasnt naked... she was wearing a diaper. That one really hurt my feelings. Like I was doing something "dirty" with my 1 day old. Unfortunately I don't think I'll ever forget that comment.


----------



## jennnk

it took me 3 days, but here I am

The advice:
I'm newly pregnant (4w6d), and I told my mom today. Also told her I plan to breastfeed, and she's a TOTAL BF advocate, thinks it's DUMB to do anything else, just look at my cousins (ALL formula-fed) and how fat & sickly they all are, etc. etc. etc. Well today she says, "Just make sure, every day, you wash your nipples really well & SCRUB them with a washcloth so your nipples don't get raw when you breastfeed." I just finished reading _So THAT'S what They're For!_, and I know that's bad advice, and I told her so. "Mom, that's really outdated information...irritated nipples are usually caused by bad latch." Thank god she realizes information changes over time!

The comeback:
I do daycare in a business, for the business's employees. One kid's father said, "He spoils us," as in, he's a really easy kid, doesn't cry ever, eats everything you give him, etc. etc. etc. Well, the receptionist misheard, thought he said, "We spoil him," and says, "FOOD SPOILS, CHILDREN ARE LOVED." I thought that was the BEST reply I've ever heard to that horrible sentiment!


----------



## broodymama

We were out yesterday and DS started sucking on his fingers. I don't mind - I think it's cute and it is also my warning sign to go ahead and get the boob out. A guy we were talking to said "oh, you'll need to put some tobasco sauce on those fingers to get him to stop!".









I just told him that I don't know any adults who suck their fingers or thumb so I'm not worried about it, if he's still doing it when he's 30 then I'll let his wife deal with it.









This same guy has a 1 month old son and started to complain to us about how hard it is to clean the circumcision wound. I just stared and said I had never seen one before, DH explained that we didn't circ.


----------



## broodymama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jennnk*
"FOOD SPOILS, CHILDREN ARE LOVED." I thought that was the BEST reply I've ever heard to that horrible sentiment!

That's a great reply! I'll have to remember that one.

and Jennnk - congrats on your pregnancy!


----------



## nhklh

Boingo, your son is a cutie! What an ass that coworker must be, no wonder you don't like him!


----------



## jennnk

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LadyBug & BabyBug*
That's a great reply! I'll have to remember that one.

and Jennnk - congrats on your pregnancy!









Thanks. We're cautiously optimistic at this point, but I truly believe that life begins & ends when it's supposed to, and if it doesn't begin now, it just wasn't time yet. Though I really *want* it to be time, yanno?


----------



## mollyeilis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jennnk*
today she says, "Just make sure, every day, you wash your nipples really well & SCRUB them with a washcloth so your nipples don't get raw when you breastfeed."

It's funny to think about...I haven't actually *washed* my breasts/nipples since I got pregnant! Just water and whatever shampoo 'cascades' down them from my hair. Weird to think about that...


----------



## gumboot_charlie

My sister's husband grew up in a *wild* family. I am surprised that he made it beyond childhood, really.
His parents' advice for calming a fussy baby?

'Just blow some (pot) smoke in his face'

No word of a lie. They did it with their children. Well I guess if it didn't work for baby, at least mom & dad were feeling a bit more relaxed.


----------



## indiana ima

Quote:


Originally Posted by *catgirl1007*
When I told my mom about DD's dairy/soy intolerance she asked, "Why don't you just give her formula?"

Umm, yeah. because formula is based on, uh, air! yeah, that's it!


----------



## mamabear&babybear

CryPixie83 Sounds like we could share some MIL horror stories.









This isn't necessarily about parenting, but I had to add it because it was so horrifying. My dd was in the beginning stages of what would later become a cold, so she was coughing. A women walked up to me in the grocery store and said "She sounds just like that baby on the second-hand smoking commercial."







I was unfortunately speechless. My dh says that I should have said "Yeah, we are trying to stop smoking our usual 4 packs a day, but you know how tough it is."


----------



## Lula's Mom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LadyBug & BabyBug*
This same guy has a 1 month old son and started to complain to us about how hard it is to clean the circumcision wound. I just stared and said I had never seen one before, DH explained that we didn't circ.

























Quote:

Originally Posted by catgirl1007

When I told my mom about DD's dairy/soy intolerance she asked, "Why don't you just give her formula?"
indiana ima took the words out of my mouth- the comeback for that stupid comment is "What do you think formula is made of?"







:


----------



## Kundalini-Mama

This formula conversation reminds me









DS1 has/had a lot of allergies. Before he was treated by our homeopath, he was up to 40 food allergies, and we were/are b/fing so I was off all of these foods as well.

So I'm at my wits end and talking to a friend. She is freinds w/a dr who is crunchy. The doctor's advice is to stop b/fing (his only source of nutrition aside from millet, beans & rice and some veggies), and give him formula that is dairy, soy and corn free. :LOL

OOps son is up, add more tomorrow


----------



## MelissaEvans

Quote:

This same guy has a 1 month old son and started to complain to us about how hard it is to clean the circumcision wound. I just stared and said I had never seen one before, DH explained that we didn't circ.
I was on site for work, and one of the employees there was a new father. He was sympathetically commenting how his son was fussy because he was just circ'ed. I could only think it, but "Gee... do ya think?!!" Since I didn't know the guy, it was a professional senario, and the pain had already been inflicted, I didn't say anything though.

Another one that bothered me, I was talking to a new grandmother who I knew whose DIL has a 2mo or so. The baby was born via c/sec, and the mother decided she couldn't breastfeed. Having been through a c/sec, I have an idea what this poor woman's going through. The baby would cry and the mom would jump for her, GM thought this was a bad idea. For heaven's sake, the mom was just told she couldn't birth her baby, couldn't nourish her baby, and now she can't even mother her baby right. It made me so mad. Oh, and since the baby was bottlefed, her rationalization was that anyone could give her what she wanted, she didn't *need* her mommy. It was my last visit with this GM before we moved and I haven't bothered keeping in touch with her.


----------



## CryPixie83

We had a home visit from an RN yesterday (We're on WIC so it's common practice in my area for public health to send a nurse to check on things). Now, I really like this nurse because when the "shot nazi" (the nurse's words, not mine) cut off my WIC because we don't vax this nurse fixed it and she's really supportive of alternative healing, but I think she needs a lot more training when it comes to infant nutrition. She asked if dd was taking a cup yet, which she is at times and she said at some point (I don't remember what age exactly) we should wean her from the bottle to a cup. I told her "Oh, she doesn't take a bottle" and the nurse asks "but, how does she get her formula?" me:"she's breastfed" nurse: "oh, well good, just keep that, they usually wean themselves around 9 or 10 months" That one caught me offguard and I could only smile and nod and she left about 2 minutes later. *sigh*


----------



## roseselene

ok, here's a really scary one.
DH took my kids to petsmart with him so I could have a little time to shower. While he was in the checkout lane with them, the lady running the register said "oh, your children are so beautiful, I could kidnap them"








sometimes I think people just don't even think about what they're saying!


----------



## threeforme2005

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PumpkinSeeds*
My MIL said that by nursing my ds I was going to turn him into a homosexual.


----------



## indiana ima

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CryPixie83*
We had a home visit from an RN yesterday . . . I really like this nurse . . . but I think she needs a lot more training when it comes to infant nutrition. . . .
"she's breastfed" nurse: "oh, well good, just keep that [up], they usually wean themselves around 9 or 10 months"

well, as long as you qualify otherwise you can stay on WIC till your youngest kid is 5 years old. so you can just be a silent example to this otherwise very nice woman that no, babies do not "usually" wean themselves that young!!!

wish i had a funny horror story to share, but luckily for me and my kids, no one has said anything astonishingly bad to me for some time!


----------



## supervee

Quote:

"oh, your children are so beautiful, I could kidnap them"
oh, my. this reminds me of people saying all the time that babies are so beautiful they could "eat them right up." what IS that? eating babies? just weird.


----------



## UUMom

Oh gosh! I have said that! "You are so darn cute I could eat you up!" I've even said that to my youngest,--- "Dang, girl! You are so juicy-cute, I could nibble at you!" I was a veggie for 15 yrs., but i guess I am am a carnivore at heart.

This is something important to remember.

I am sensitized.


----------



## ian'smommaya

i told a friend of a freind that i could take her daughter home, she was soooo cute.

i didnt realize how weird it sounded til now.
i too am sentitized


----------



## supervee

well, yeah, most times when i read a post on this thread i think that i've said something like that before. but i'm a foot-in-mouth kind of gal.


----------



## ian'smommaya

me too!!!
daily, hourly minute by minute of foot in mouth


----------



## Kateana

This thread has sensitized me in so many ways.







I think I used to say like half of the stupid things posted here...







:


----------



## boingo82

Quote:


Originally Posted by *supervee*
oh, my. this reminds me of people saying all the time that babies are so beautiful they could "eat them right up." what IS that? eating babies? just weird.

When my little brother was 2-ish, a lady said that to him. He solemnly said, "NO. You can't eat me." to her and every time she came over after that he would hide in his room just in case.


----------



## bendmom

People who say my kids aren't going to grow right/be healthy being raised vegetarian. Give me a break. Have you ever met an obese vegetarian child?


----------



## BirthingGoddesses

Quote:


Originally Posted by *supervee*
oh, my. this reminds me of people saying all the time that babies are so beautiful they could "eat them right up." what IS that? eating babies? just weird.

I have a good friend who is about 55-60 ish {she wont disclose her real age...







} I have brought this up to her, "the eating/stealing" comment. She says that she has said it, if the mother appeared to be not paying enough attention to the child, as if they could get taken by a REAL weirdo- just to stir that protective feeling in the mother. Sometimes she has also said just to stir that in a new mother- stir the desire to hold tighter, said she would watch it the mothers eyes, and know she had done right.

You might have to know her to understand- pretty down to earth and VERY REAL. Thats her way of helping the next generation in that little way- trying to inspire a mother to be more of what she ought.


----------



## yvonnemlv

Ok, So I got a comment yesterday that floored me... although I can understand it if this is something that happened to her... THis woman is a grandma and owns a sewing machine shop with sewing classes. It's a great place I love to go to. Anyway.. I was mentioning how we were currently baby making again (baby dust here please, gals!) and she said the timing was great and thinks it will be a boy. Then I mentioned that DH jokingly said he wanted 13 kids (although we aren't opposed to a big family either).

She said that that is not good. It's a lot of responsibility and that when you retire you will never be happy. Because, suppose one of your kids becomes a narcotic (user or seller).









Ah well. If that happens, then it is my child's choice. Definitely not one I would want for him/her, but still their life. Hopefuly APing will help that to not occur.


----------



## MelissaEvans

Quote:


Originally Posted by *supervee*
oh, my. this reminds me of people saying all the time that babies are so beautiful they could "eat them right up." what IS that? eating babies? just weird.

It's a game for us. I pretend to "eat" my DS and it tickles while I kiss his tummy and give him raspberries. =) So the "eat" is really a "kiss" in our home.

Then again, when he keeps asking to nurse and I know it's just because he wants my attention (nothing wrong with that, but I'd like to ovulate so I'd rather give him my attention another way), I pretend to "nurse" on him. He giggles and laughs and we have a good rastling session. =)


----------



## Tummy

: STUPIDEST THING I WAS EVER ASKED!!!
"Does breastfeeding your baby make you become aroused?"


----------



## bunsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CryPixie83*
you just don't say that kind of crap to a woman who has just given birth! I wanted to scream and cry because she was so insensitive. Being a mama has really altered my view of my mil (and sil too for that matter)

Can't we just send MILs to an island somewhere? Just part time










If only!!!

Step MIL had a FIT when we were pregnant, but then wanted to be DD's "Grandma", no WAY. The day after our wonderful HOMEBIRTH, she said she had called the hospital and I had been there but left, and was I o.k. even though I didn't get the birth I wanted? WTF? We never went to any hospital. She loves to play mind games, and had a bunch of other people asking us (later on) were we o.k. even though we "had to go to the hospital?"

Step MIL while wagging her finger at me about co-sleeping "you are going to be sorry later" and I said "No I am NOT."

MIL came over less than 24 hrs after the birth, bought beer for DH (because you know all he went through), NOTHING for me, and DH ordered and picked up pizza (she didn't like what we were ordering..vegetarian, she wanted "meat" and we had to order her a small one with meat, but DH told her she had to pay for her own for once. Hah)...while we were eating, and I was just ravenous after not eating for almost 48 hours (I was nauseous during labor and too amped after to really eat) she stared at me while I was holding DD with one arm and eating with the other hand and said something about "babies loving bigger breasted women" implying that I am fat. Hmmm, just had a BABY weirdo.

I said "I LOVE being a Mom" (and I still do







) and she said "Don't write the book, it hasn't even been 24 hours".

When DD was 3 months, DH sister and her partner came for a visit, DH had to tell them they couldn't stay with us, they thought at 3 months we would be "well used to dealing with the baby" (either of them have children), when they came to visit (empty handed as is the case with his family) and we had made (or I had made) snacks for them, SIL waited until DH was out of the room to say me, after I just had said how happy I was being a Mom..."I remember seven years ago, you said you would divorce my brother if he asked you for kids" I yelled to DH "better call the divorce lawyers". But I was seething.

DH and I had planned on not having children, several years ago and part of the reason was DH WAS very selfish and I didn't want to end up raising a child on my own, as I knew at that time he would be gone doing his "things" (sports), and at the time his sister (again, CHILDLESS) was pestering me for a "little niece or nephew" so I said that to get her to shut up.

Anywho, I am finally fed up with all the drama with his sister, Mother and Father and his wife that I just don't see any of them anymore. I almost had a nervous breakdown because of all the things they were doing/saying and we just stopped most of the contact. We see MIL once in a while, but his dad and the wife no longer talk to us and SIL thankfully, we see maybe once a year...whew.


----------



## indiana ima

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bunsmom*
Step MIL ... The day after our wonderful HOMEBIRTH, she said she had called the hospital and I had been there but left.... WTF? We never went to any hospital. She loves to play mind games, and had a bunch of other people asking us (later on) were we o.k. even though we "had to go to the hospital?"

that is seriously bizarre. what did you tell the people she lied to who were asking after you with concern? i would have been hard pressed to even make sense, responding to that....


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## bunsmom

Re: Step MIL insisting I had DD at hospital....She is seriously whacked, so I didn't think much about it. Then her daughter and a few of her friends came up to me and DH during a holiday party and said "was the birth o.k. even though you didn't have her at home like you wanted?"

I just said that we did have her at home and it was wonderful.

I don't even think the hospital that she called gives out information, and especially since I wasn't there EVER. She also was at our house to see DD, 18 hours after her birth. I have the birth cert. to prove we had her at home, but I don't care enough to show it to her (she isn't talking to us anyway)...just was a little frustrating after going through a natural birth to have to deal with that nonsense!


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## ian'smommaya

your mother in law and my ex m.i.l. must live in the same world.

maya- who avoids crazy family members


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## Jadzia

I can't believe I read this entire thread!









Here's mine:

I desperately wanted a natural birth. I labored at an alternative birthing center with a midwife and everything went fine until I got to the pushing stage. I pushed for 4 hours, but my baby never made it more than an inch. He was posterior and his head never turned correctly and got stuck. I ended up having a c/s and I was so devasted (still am).

Anyway, we are estranged from my DH's family mainly due to how she reacted when we eloped 5 years ago. We tried to be the bigger people by inviting them to the baby shower and after the baby was born, DH called them and they came to the hospital.

Now in addition to the c/s, I also lost a TON of blood (I needed two transfusions) and I ultimately had a hematoma and was re-hospitalized and basically spent the first 12 days of my newborn's life in the hospital. Ugh.

So anyway, my MIL and FIL showed up the day after the baby was born. I was still dazed from the surgery and the blood loss, etc. And I was really uncomfortable anyway just because of past history with the MIL.

So it is the first day I am allowed out of bed and I am slowly making it over to the bathroom. MIL says something like "I feel your pain!" Ugh. I just wanted to throttle her and say "Lady, you have no idea what I am going through right now." But I just held my tongue.

But it gets worse. Later when they are getting ready to leave (which is funny because as soon as DS started crying for food and I started to nurse him, it flipped them out enough to decide to quickly leave :LOL ) I was talking about how sad I was that I had to have a c/s and MIL looks at me like I am a bug under a microscope and says all innocently:

"Why wouldn't you want to have a c-section?"

I was stunned. At the time, I just mumbled something stupid about it not being natural,







. But now I am kicking myself for not saying "Because I didn't want to be cut open, have my baby yanked from my womb, have my insides scrambled up, and sewn back together before I could even hold my precious son?!?"









That insensitive comment still makes me upset when I think about it. When I got home from the hospital for the second time (after everything I went through) she had the nerve to send me some chatty email (as if we were buddies, never mind the woman never spoke to me the first 5 years I was married to her son.) The email not once asks me how I am feeling, but she starts telling me how DH never slept through the night until the doctor told her to put him on cereal at 2 months







and what a huge "formula drinker" DH's brother was. Ugh. I never responded to her. Thankfully I have only had to be in her presence two more times since then, the last at Christmas.

I was wearing DS in a Baby Bjorn at the Christmas party on DH's side of the family. The idea being we wanted everyone to see DS, but we wanted to make sure he felt safe and secure and wasn't passed around like a party platter. (Oh and because the only other time I saw MIL was at a family barbeque for her side of the family and pretty much everyone there treated me like I was a nanny or hired help or something and we knew if I wore him they would actually have to acknowledge my presence as the baby's mother.)

Well as soon as we got there, MIL asked DH (not me) about holding the baby. He told her not now, DS is happy as he is. Then FIL (who is actually nice, despite being married to the dragon lady) asked me. Again, I said not right now, he's happy. (We wanted to make sure he was comfortable around so many people and wanted to wait until we needed to take him out of his carrier.) So we were there about ann hour before they got to hold the baby. And the whole time, everyone was marveling at what a "good" (read: non-fussy) baby he was. When we were getting ready to leave, DH went to the car to get DS's coat and the MIL started in with me. Saying, Gee that baby was awfully happy when you let him be held by everybody. And I said, Exactly, that was the plan to make sure he was comfortable first. And then she kept arguing with me, saying "Well he seemed fine to me, he likes being the center of attention...







" I just couldn't believe it. I was basically tongue-tied and said nothing. DH returned and we left and I was fuming. MIL had the nerve to try and hug me! I just stood there, fuming. I still can't believe she would have the nerve to try and tell me she somehow knows my son better than I do (she had met him 3 times) and to argue with me about my parenting choices!

It's no wonder we have not seen her since Xmas. I told DH, I think I want to wait to see her next until after DS weans because I don't think I can take her without having a stiff drink first. I so want to tell her off!


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## William's Mom

Jadzia, having also desparately wanted and planned for a natural childbirth, and also had to have an emergency c-section over 4 weeks early, and having tons of complications afterwards (including a hematoma like you,) *I* do feel your pain! I loved your post and agreed with everything you said. Also wearing your baby was a great idea at the family thing!


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## ian'smommaya

wow jadzia, after all that i would need a stiff drink too.

maya- who is so glad my mom is nice.


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## bunsmom

Jadzia: I am so sorry your birth wasn't what you wanted/needed and that your MIL was such a pain in the heiney. Bleech. I am sooo jealouse of women that have great MIL's.

Did I mention I have TWO MIL's....DH's Dad re-married about five years ago. He seems to like women who think they know everything.


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## Jennifer3141

Jadzia and Bunsmom, you have my utmost respect for dealing with all your MILs without resorting to violence. :LOL

Thank goodness my MIL just whines and cries all the time.

Jen


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## Mummoth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jennifer3141*
Thank goodness my MIL just whines and cries all the time.

*sigh*... I wish I could make my MIL cry!


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## dooldad

It's amazing the jealousy we have seen in 9 mos. Because we have a SON all the families that have daughters make comments to my dw like: You just dont know what it like to have a daughter, like there is some different love we would have if we would have had a girl.

It's funny because neither of us ever cared one way or another. I guess a lot of people do.

My dw also was told at a baby shower that because our ds was crawling at 6mo he would be a slow talker. Of course this came from someone that had a baby the same age that wasn't holding his head up yet. Oh, they were also feeding him cake and formula and he was a little "big" already. so sad for him.

I agree with all of you, it's amazing how many people just "couldn't" b'feed.


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## jaam

Dooldad - How *weird* about the baby gender jealousy!

Luckily my IL's live across the country and we rarely see them. I'd have gouged out my own eyeballs if they lived any closer and I had to deal with the devil-woman MIL any more frequently than I do. They're coming for dd's first b-day though, so I'm reading as much of these I can to get good come-back ideas ready.









Anyway, when we did go visit them so they could see dd (she was about 5 months at the time) the subject of breastfeeding came up. She proudly announced: "I bf'd J for a few months but I couldn't bf C [my dh] because our friend was living with us at the time."

What a lame excuse. She's just all-around lame. I was just like "ooooh". And thinking to myself, "well THAT (and some other weird parenting habits she had with her two boys) explains a lot about dh!"


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## tammylc

And then there's my MIL, who is totally uninterested in her grandson. She never asks about him when DH is talking to her on the phone, and if he volunteers news about his development she counters with stories about her puppy. She's our closest relative, but we only see her twice a year, maybe.

Still, reading all these MIL stories, I guess I'd rather have that than a nosy bossy pushy MIL.


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## bunsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jennifer3141*
Jadzia and Bunsmom, you have my utmost respect for dealing with all your MILs without resorting to violence. :LOL

Thank goodness my MIL just whines and cries all the time.

Jen









Yeah, whining and crying would be a relief. Actually that would be my Grandmother....I have to say my parents have been really great, so has my brother...he told me that he really admires mine and DH's relationship and that if he had to do it over again (with hid DD's) he would do some of the things we are doing. My Dad came over the day after DD birth and brought us a wonderful rocking chair, my Mom brought flowers and a cake to celebrate her "birthday".While my Mom did not like us having a home birth, she didn't say anything negative about it. My Grandma tried to say something and I said "You were born at home!" and she did the ahhh, ahhh, stuttering. Hah.

dooldad, people are weird huh? Last week (I posted this on another thread) there was a woman I just met and had her child in their infant seat, with a pacifier in their mouth sitting on top of a table, and wanted me to take my DD out of her carrier so she could "hold her". What the? Hold your precious child!!!

Even when we were preg. and said we were having a girl, so many people acted like "thank god" and another women I didn't know well was upset because she was pregnant with a boy. That is horrible, we didn't care one way or the other.

I wish more people would love their children regardless. You know?


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## dooldad

Yes, people are weird.

I try to go out of my way to make people feel confortable if their baby isn't at the same milestone as ours. I say things like " it doesn't matter if your baby isn't sitting up, it will happen soon. or something to make the parents feel better. Only if they have commented on it.


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## Mummoth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tammylc*
And then there's my MIL, who is totally uninterested in her grandson. She never asks about him when DH is talking to her on the phone, and if he volunteers news about his development she counters with stories about her puppy. She's our closest relative, but we only see her twice a year, maybe.

Still, reading all these MIL stories, I guess I'd rather have that than a nosy bossy pushy MIL.

My MIL too! It just astounds me!! My mom is like "Oh it's been nearly two weeks... I feel like haven't seen them in forever!! I miss you guys!" MIL is only interested in hearing "Yes, they're fine" Anything beyond that bores her.

She's a total nut job. She used to look at DS & say things like "He seems like he's put on a bit of weight, he'll _probably make it_" Which would be cruel, incredibly insensetive & rude if he were premature or sick, but he was perfectly healthy!! I didn't even know what to make of that. He was 6 pounds 12 ounces, born at term (38 wks) DH was nearly 10 pounds at birth, so the only thing I could think was maybe it was meant to be some sort of insult? Like she grew bigger (and therefore better/healthier?) babies than me?!

And baby gender jealousy... that is bizarre. I don't love either of my children more than the other, and I don't love them differently than one another. I appreciate some of DDs peronality traits *in infancy* more than I did DS's... he was a sensitive/light sleeping/ high need kind of baby. DD is more laid back... but I'm sure she'll be more of a challenge than DS at another stage of their lives, so that will all even out (maybe when she's 3 she won't be content to built herself a pirate ship out of the couches while I have a break on MDC!) and I don't think that has anything to do with their genders... just that it's easier to have warm fuzzy feelings about a baby who *isn't* screaming...


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## RedWine

My MIL isn't a TOTAL wacko, but I have to admit I do NOT understand her. She and FIL went on a scheduled trip overseas even though they knew I was having late pregnancy complications and needed extra help. They didn't offer to help -- in fact, MIL wrote an email saying, "gee, wish I could help but we've got this scheduled vacation." Never mind they go there twice a year, every year, for a month at a time. Never mind that she also refused to help earlier in my pregnancy, when I was on bedrest.

She gives no indication that she cares about her unborn grandchild.

Thank God for my own mother, who acts like...well, a caring mother.

I wouldnt' really care about the negligence from my in-laws -- IF they wouldn't make a big deal about spending equal time with my first daughter. My parents live an hour away from them, and they expect us to visit them as often as we visit my own parents. My daughter doesn't know them because...well, they show no interest! They don't call, they barely email, they refuse to help...I have NO desire to even give them a birth announcement after this last refusal (I really needed the help, it was a life-or-death situation...again, thank god for my own mother!). My dd LOVES my mom now, since she's spent so much time with her. You can bet I'll be fighting to stay with my own parents for a MUCH longer time than we stay with the in-laws.

In addition, MIL thinks I should "detach" myself from dd because there's a baby arriving soon (yeah...that would make dd #1 feel GREAT...), and that I'm trying to be "perfect" by being an AP mama...and of course, it's useless to be perfect so why not resort to smacking once in a while...etc. All this from a woman who has not even contacted dh or myself since she's returned from her vacation, she doesn't even know if the baby has been born yet, if I'm okay -- nothing!!!!

The REALLY unfortunate thing is that my husband knows, deep down, that there are drastic differences between his parents and my parents. He KNOWS my parents are supportive and his are..well, useless. Yet they're his parents, and he's not emotionally ready to acknowledge practically any of the above out loud. So I can see that in the future, I'm going to have to gently let him know that I do NOT want to spend a bunch of time with his folks. How to do this without hurting his feelings, I've no idea.

Forgive the messy writing and spelling -- I'm dead tired and desperately wanting to go into labor at any moment.


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## Kateana

I have been so blessed with a great MIL. She raised DH a little messed up (all doting love, no responsiblities EVER, so he's still a big kid), but she's the sweetest lady ever. A good mom for me to have now.

It's my mom that I can't stand. Before I got pg we would talk about hypothetical situations (in conversation about other people raising kids, etc), such as co-sleeping, etc., and she'd say stupid things like, "I almost smothered you when I tried to sleep with you in the bed" (I seriously doubt she even tried, unless she was drunk and too lazy to put me to bed) or other things to influence my decisions, especially re: homebirth. She's a pathalogical liar, so I have a hard time believing anything she says, and on top of that, she left when I was 2yo, so I doubt there was anything instinctual about her parenting in those 2 years. Argh. She doesn't know yet that I am pg, and I dread telling her b/c I'll have to hear so much BS.







:

As for gender preference... I have wanted just girls forEVER, but really only b/c I have 5 young sisters, and I don't think I have ever even babysat a boy. I feel totally incompetant around little boys, so I guess I still want a little girl. But the funny thing is, I keep referring to my unborn baby as "he".







I know I wouldn't mind at all if I have a boy, and will love him as much as if he is a she... but I just don't know what to do with a penis (you know what I mean!!). I'm just nervous about having a boy, but when it comes down to it, it's b/c of my ignorance.







:

Ellis Herr: You are right, your DH probably does know, and it probably hurts a lot. I had to come to terms with my MIL being way better than my own mom, and it sucked. I just feel lucky now that I married into an awesome family. Maybe you don't have to come out and have a discussion about it. He might feel the same way, to an extent, even if he can't say it. And to hear it out loud may make him defensive. Maybe just do the scheduling of visits (or whatever you're going to do) without making a proclamation about it, y'know? I guess what I'm saying is that it is hard to hear bad stuff about your parents, even if you know it's true...







Regardless of how you handle it, I hope it goes well, and I hope your labor happens soon for you! How exciting...


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## bunsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dooldad*
Yes, people are weird.

I try to go out of my way to make people feel confortable if their baby isn't at the same milestone as ours. I say things like " it doesn't matter if your baby isn't sitting up, it will happen soon. or something to make the parents feel better. Only if they have commented on it.

You are so cool! I try and do that too. I hate the one upmanship that goes on, I don't do it. I walked early (10 months) but DH didn't walk until 15/16 months, but HE ran a marathon a couple years ago, I would pass out if I ran a block...

When I was pregnant with DD a friend said they were worried about their son not walking at 10 months (seemed a little young to worry) and I told him that all kids are different not to push it, he was fine and walking two months later. I don't even look at milestone charts etc...because I don't like the whole comparison thing.

Ellis Herr- DH's Mom isn't that interested in DD either, which is FINE with me. We see her about once a month and it is always ALL ABOUT her, but she is always trying to tell us what we are doing wrong







: , usually I am pretty tired and cranky with her and she backs off. She is insistant that DD be put in an exersaucer and one of those jumper things, I refuse for many different reasons. She is constantly wanting to know what milestones she is doing and if isn't where she thinks she should be at she tries to say something about it. Both DH and his super self absorbed sister have (DH is much better now) issues with being selfish/self absorbed and poor social skills, their Mom was a SAHM but hated it and always talks about how much she hated it. STILL. Heavy sigh. DH is such a sweetie pie, I don't know how he made it.

DH's Mom actually said to us after DD was born, that when people have a stillborn or baby dies right after birth it is because the parents are being taught a lesson. WTF? I told her that was NOT TRUE and that it was a horrible thing to think. She is always saying crazy things. She won't go over to my parents because she thinks something is wrong with my Dad. My Dad IS the sweetest, kindest, most loving Father a girl could have. I really think the reason I get along with men well and have such a wonderful husband is because of my Dad. My Dad is a photographer and takes a lot of movies, when my DN's were LITTLE, about 2 and 3 (they were always big/tall for their ages) my Dad took a movie of them in a bubble bath, and years ago was showing movies/photos and she thought he was a perv. for taking a movie of them. I have never gotten over her saying that about my Dad and I will always hate her a little for it.

I totally got off topic. Sorry!


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## Mummoth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bunsmom*
My Dad is a photographer and takes a lot of movies, when my DN's were LITTLE, about 2 and 3 (they were always big/tall for their ages) my Dad took a movie of them in a bubble bath, and years ago was showing movies/photos and she thought he was a perv. for taking a movie of them. I have never gotten over her saying that about my Dad and I will always hate her a little for it.

I totally got off topic. Sorry!









Well count my dad in too then, because my parents have pictures of my 2 sisters & I all together in the tub


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## nhklh

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dooldad*
It's amazing the jealousy we have seen in 9 mos. Because we have a SON all the families that have daughters make comments to my dw like: You just dont know what it like to have a daughter, like there is some different love we would have if we would have had a girl.

It's funny because neither of us ever cared one way or another. I guess a lot of people do

The gender thing is weird to me too. It seems a lot of women (and it doesn't seem to matter straight or lesbian) would rather have a girl than a boy. As though boys are seen as "second best" or something, I find it quite disgusting. Their lack of gratitude at having a healthy _child_ really irks me, as does their complete disrespect for males in general.







:


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## loveharps

I have to admit, I havn't read every post in this thread, just the first one, a middle one and the last one, so in fact I don't even know if you're all still talking about dumb things people have said, but it you are I'd like to add one.

When I was breastfeeding, one of my friends asked me if I could hear the milk sloshing around my breasts when I ran or jumped around. I couldn't stop laughing at her!


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## guerrillamama

The gender thing is beyond stupid.

What's interesting is that I have always heard the opposite! I can't tell you how many women (only women, no men) have said "Oh, you're so lucky to have a boy! Girls are so much trouble... girls are so willful... boys love their mamas forever..." stuff like that. Always women w/ daughters saying this. I felt so sad for their relationships w/ their daughters. It's just terrible that anyone thinks these things about either gender.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bunsmom*
My Dad IS the sweetest, kindest, most loving Father a girl could have. I really think the reason I get along with men well and have such a wonderful husband is because of my Dad. My Dad is a photographer and takes a lot of movies, when my DN's were LITTLE, about 2 and 3 (they were always big/tall for their ages) my Dad took a movie of them in a bubble bath, and years ago was showing movies/photos and she thought he was a perv. for taking a movie of them. I have never gotten over her saying that about my Dad and I will always hate her a little for it.

You know people have actually been convicted of child pornography for taking naked (e.g. bathtime) pictures of their babies. And I mean _babies_.







Good thing she never called the cops on your dad. I have more naked pics of my kid than you can shake a stick at, hope no one ever reports me!


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## guerrillamama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kateana*
As for gender preference... I have wanted just girls forEVER, but really only b/c I have 5 young sisters, and I don't think I have ever even babysat a boy. I feel totally incompetant around little boys, so I guess I still want a little girl. But the funny thing is, I keep referring to my unborn baby as "he".







I know I wouldn't mind at all if I have a boy, and will love him as much as if he is a she... but I just don't know what to do with a penis (you know what I mean!!). I'm just nervous about having a boy, but when it comes down to it, it's b/c of my ignorance.







:









This exactly describes me when I was preg w/ ds. He's now 15 mo old and I'm happy to report that there is nothing gender-specific about the many challenges of parenting I've encountered so far. The penis has been a non-issue. Just don't cut it, and remember to point it *down* when you put on the diaper, that's all you need to know! One wonderful thing about the penis is that it's a toy that never gets lost under the couch.

I'm still a little concerned about the boy issues that will arise as he gets older, goes to school, etc especially b/c I am a single mama and his dad is not on the scene. But I am confident that I'll be able to take it as it comes, and we'll do fine. And so will you!

Have you read Raising Cain or Playful Parenting? Both good books with good thoughts on raising boys.


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## peaceful herbivore

Just wanted to add a couple of stupid comments I got the other day from a woman in the laundrymat.
"Remember, pass her off to EVERYONE and ANYONE who is willing to hold her, that way you will get a break and she won't be spoiled"

"Aw, well, enjoy her when she is a baby because when she hits (whatever age) she is going to become a Daddy's girl, and that is when you have another baby so you can have one all for yourself...and try for a boy...."

Okay, where is that projectile vomit icon when you need it?


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## paquerette

Quote:


Originally Posted by *guerrillamama*
The penis has been a non-issue. Just don't cut it, and remember to point it *down* when you put on the diaper, that's all you need to know!

Also, never, ever retract it!

I'm one of those who wanted a boy because I thought they were easier. It seems like you have to try a lot harder to have a healthy mother daughter relationship. I guess I'll be reading a lot of books. I haven't screwed her up so far.


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## momtwoboys

About the gender thing.

My husband and his 2 cousins run the family farm. Both cousins have 3 girls each. Last born a few days ago, it was a try for a boy even though we really do not want 3 one. Poor kid. All these girls are very girlie so far. Anyway to the point. I took my youngest a few weeks ago to visit great grandma. 1 cousin showed , I never seen anyone look at a babe so enviously/longing or whatever. He wants a boy baby so bad.

Who is to say any of the kids will want anything to do with the farm. Girls could do what they farm and/or marry a man who farms. This gender thing is so ridiculus.


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## kater07

People keep telling me how perfect my family is now that we have 1 boy and 1 girl.

Personally, I feel that my family would have been perfect with ANY combo of kids. I do LOVE having a boy! Growing up I always wanted boys, and I have one, now. My DD is just a baby (7 weeks) but I can already see her with doggy ears and playing in the mud with her big brother.

What I REALLY want is for them to be the best of friends. I just want my kids to get along and be happy with each other.


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## bunsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *guerrillamama*
You know people have actually been convicted of child pornography for taking naked (e.g. bathtime) pictures of their babies. And I mean _babies_.







Good thing she never called the cops on your dad. I have more naked pics of my kid than you can shake a stick at, hope no one ever reports me!


I know, isn't that nuts. I take bath time photos of DD all the time. There is nothing wrong with a naked baby/young child, breastfeeding baby/child. What is wrong is the way our society sees this. Deal with the REAL people doing things to abuse children.

MIL finds fault with EVERYONE. She is a social worker and for some reason thinks it entitles her to diagnose everyone with whatever is trendy that day. She is very judgemental and critical. When she starts that stuff I say "O.K. Today is NOT a work day" or "Your not a therapist". Grrrrr.


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## Kateana

Thanks, guerrillamama and paquerette...

I had always thought that if I had a boy, I would circ (again, b/c of ignorance), and being faced with a foreskin is the intimidating part, I think.







So, I guess it's easier to deal with than I thought? You don't have to answer that... I haven't even started researching anything to do with circ, so I've got some reading to do.









guerrillamama: I'm sure you will do fine with DS. I was raised by my dad, and have a horrible relationship with my mom, but I think I came out of that with very little damage.







At least, it's nothing that I can't handle right now... I'll have to look for those books, I'd be interested in reading them for sure. Thanks!

paquerette: And all this time I had thought a girl would be easier. But now that you mention it... I don't know the first thing about a mother/daughter relationship!







: Well... hopefully the few psych/parenting books I have (Whole child/Whole Parent, Birthing from Within, and I forget the others...) will help! I'd better get on those books too.









One more random thing about the gender issue... My dad and stepmom are expecting #6 (yes, we're pg at the same time). Right now they have 5 girls, and I think my stepmom has always wanted a boy, and still does, but my dad is content with all the girls. They discuss this all the time in front of the girls, and the girls join right in!! Some want a boy, for variety, and some think a girl is the only way to go. I'll have to pay closer attention, and see if any of the girls is affected by talk of wanting a boy... I haven't seen any hurt feelings yet, though...


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## guerrillamama

Kateana, please please please go browse thru the "Case Against Circumcision" forum here at MDC. There's simply no medical reason to circ and *lots* of medical reasons not to. Foreskins are no trouble at all, trust me. Go check it out and if you have any questions the folks over in that forum, much more knowledgeable than me, will be thrilled to answer them.


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## freakyspice

When I was 7 months pg I was working in a coffee shop... TONS of random strangers giving me advice all day... one after another, lined up and waiting for coffee.







I was discussing with one woman how I was planning on having a natural birth... TONS of random strangers telling me I'll want the drugs once I'm in labor







This lady told me that if she were 7 month pg she'd already be taking the drugs! (she adopted her kids)


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## StarMama

Yes yes Kateana, whole penises are SO easy to care for. You just wipe them down, and point them down in the diaper. No retracting or messing with cleaning 'inside' its self cleaning







I was totally befuddled with how I was going to care for a penis prior to ds, and its seriously a non issue. You wipe it down like you'd wipe a finger. You wouldn't try to rip up or remove your fingernail to clean under it where it attaches to the skin, same deal with a penis.

Anyways, I just had to chime in that I *SO* want a girl. SO SO SO want a girl. But I wouldn't change a darn thing about Orion, and I love him for exactly who he is and not one bit less than if he was a girl. But I still want at least one girl!







Its good we're thinking about having 3-4 kids, I've got a few chances left!







Dh said he'd be just fine with 4 boys!


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## Kateana

I will definitely check out the no-circ info around here. I haven't even wandered onto that forum yet. I swear, I've got like 30+ pg/baby/child books to read. I'll put no-circ info on my list of stuff to read, I promise.


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## catnip

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TranscendentalMom*
My mother told me that she didn't believe all the hype about breastfeeding being better than formula because she didn't breastfeed my brother and I and we are perfectly healthy. I told her I know a woman who smoked through both her pregnancies and her babies are healthy - does that mean its ok to smoke when you're pregnant? Not an exact analogy, but the point was taken.

See, I had a doctor feed me that same analogy about pregnacy/breastfeeding while eating a vegetarian diet. Said that if I really loved my baby, I would set aside my silly ideologies for her best interests. And that once she was born and I held her, I'd realize how wrong I was being.

Had a co-worker tell me I shouldn't ride my bicycle in early pregnancy because of bumps in the road. (I did stop at 5 months because my balance was affected).

Had a friend tell me at 39 weeks that I shouldn't lift the heavy stack of plates because it could make me go into labor too early (?), and she didn't want to have to drive me to the hospital. (fine, then offer to help instead of sitting on your butt and making dumb remarks)


----------



## MelissaEvans

You know, I really hate the "I was spanked/formula fed/circ'd/vaxed/whatever and I turned out fine" line. I mean, my parents were divorced, my step mom raised me and made sure I knew my birth mom didn't want me and never acted like she (step mom) loved me either. I'd like to think that I turned into a thoughtful, independent, caring person... should I do that to my kids? I forget the name of the fallacy, but it's very poor logic!


----------



## StarMama

Yes Melissa! I totally agree! I was raised by two chain smoking parents, almost died several times from asthma (that magically went away when I quit smoking), my mom abandoned me to go marry a felon, my dad emotional, physically, and quite possibly sexually abused me until I was 16 and ran away from home. And I'm a strong, mostly positive, artistic, empathic woman who has a loving husband and child. So does that mean I can just raise my child the same way and he will be fine?! I was LUCKY, and worked HARD to not let my past turn me into a negative bitter abusive woman. Just *THINK* of how much BETTER I might be able to have been with a normal childhood (and I'm not saying that in a 'beating myself down' way, but maybe I'd have a better time with my temper, not be WAY overweight, and have to fight the negative emotional beasties so much). ARG!

GTG now, Orion is trying to eat coffee creamer!


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## mommykof5

The thing that gets me is when we'er in a store and some one stops and says "Are they all yours?" I say every blessed one of them Then they usually come back with "Well don't you know what causes that?" I say yes I do and I enjoy every minute of it so does my husband. Their jaw drops and they walk away!!


----------



## User101

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommykof5*
The thing that gets me is when we'er in a store and some one stops and says "Are they all yours?" I say every blessed one of them Then they usually come back with "Well don't you know what causes that?" I say yes I do and I enjoy every minute of it so does my husband. Their jaw drops and they walk away!!

We got this when we were pregnant with #3- people would ask my dh (a pastor) "Don't you know what causes that?" and he would say, Yep. And we're pretty good at it, don't you think.

People look at my three and say, "How far apart *are* they, anyway" as if I got knocked up again before being transfered to the recovery ward.


----------



## Jennifer3141

Annette, I'm getting the, "How far apart?" comments now since I've started to show and it's really DUMB. I've started saying things like, "Well, we had sex even BEFORE I get pregnant with this one. And obviously not all of it was oral." And some moron wanted to know if we got pregnant again on our first time having sex after DD's birth. BTW, this was a stranger in the grovery store picking though Granny Smith apples with me.







:

My DD was 5 months old when we conceived. I would HOPE I was getting some attention before 5 months had gone by...









Jen


----------



## indiana ima

Quote:


Originally Posted by *guerrillamama*
You know people have actually been convicted of child pornography for taking naked (e.g. bathtime) pictures of their babies. And I mean _babies_.









really? i've never read any reports of that. did that happen to anyone you know? that's so awful!


----------



## Kateana

Quote:


Originally Posted by *indiana ima*
really? i've never read any reports of that. did that happen to anyone you know? that's so awful!

Within the last 6 months-year there was a letter in Mothering magazine from a woman that went through a bunch of legal crap b/c the lady at the post office knew she was sending pics of her kids (bfing, and in the bath) to a family member. I'm not sure I even have the issue anymore, bu tI know I saw it in the letters section...


----------



## guerrillamama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *indiana ima*
really? i've never read any reports of that. did that happen to anyone you know? that's so awful!

No one I know. I had heard stories like this for years and always just blew them off as urban legend. But this semester my Family Law prof mentioned that it happens and that she once had a client who was charged. And my friend is taking Art Law and they discussed the issue in class, apparently there have been quite a few convictions. Also there was a controversy a little while ago about Wal-Mart. Some photo developing employees were proactively calling the cops to report naked baby pictures. There was some debate about whether they were doing it on their own initiative or whether it was company policy. I don't remember which it turned out to be...


----------



## bunsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kateana*
Within the last 6 months-year there was a letter in Mothering magazine from a woman that went through a bunch of legal crap b/c the lady at the post office knew she was sending pics of her kids (bfing, and in the bath) to a family member. I'm not sure I even have the issue anymore, bu tI know I saw it in the letters section...

I read that too, and it freaked me out. That is just craziness....

I can not belive the things people/say ask. Jennifer, what in the world did you say to that person? I am floored that strangers think it is any of their business about your sex life. I have had several women ask me when me and DH had sex after DD was born. Women without children. Why? I don't know. I just ask "why do you want to know?". One of the women who asked me that also was going around telling everyone that this other couple didn't have sex until their DS was 6 months old....GRRR. I am sure her friend just LOVED that. I keep that info. to myself.


----------



## Childishgoth

http://www.sptimes.com/2003/11/30/Fl...of_justi.shtml

I didnt get to read all of it baby is very mad but the begining made it sem like you guys might be intrested


----------



## catnip

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cancat*
from MIL:

"I heard that to stop a baby crying you're supposed to blow in your ear"


This actually works, being a loud white noise similar to womb noises. See "The Happiest Baby on the Block." If DD is fussing for no other apparent reason, or overstimulated, I find it calms her very well when I shush her or blow across her ear.


----------



## kater07

Quote:


Originally Posted by *catnip*
This actually works, being a loud white noise similar to womb noises. See "The Happiest Baby on the Block." If DD is fussing for no other apparent reason, or overstimulated, I find it calms her very well when I shush her or blow across her ear.


I do this too!

I was told NEVER do it b/c it's too loud and babies doing like it, but mine BOTH love that noise.


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## artgoddess

Just the other night while at my moms group, one of the other moms pulled me aside to let me know secretly that some daycare in town, she named it I guess I'm supposed to be impressed or it's supposed to be the best one to send your kids to or something. Anyway she let me know that the word is, they are reducing their child-teacher ratio and I had better go down to put DS name on the list right away because the wait could be as long as a year.

I just gave her a quizical look and told her I didn't plan on putting DS into daycare. She looked at me in the middle of a room filled with 10 moms and their babies and toddlers all playing together and said, "but aren't you worried about him not being socialized?" I gazed around the room and then back at her and said, "Um...no."


----------



## hazelmama

I've been trying to think of something to add to this thread and I finally remembered a *good* one from my MIL.

So a few months before DD is born, my MIL comes to visit (she lives about 4 hours away and so doesn't get to visit very often). We're having lunch when completely out of the blue she says (wistfully) how disappointed she is that when DD throws her first tantrum out in public she probably wouldn't be there to see me struggling to deal with it. Then she looks off into the distance (I could tell she was imagining the scene) and she gets all giddy and excited thinking about it! At that point she looks back at me with my jaw







and hastily covers up her obvious glee in imaging my embarrassment and says "well you know...it would just be...interesting."

WTF??? So what am I supposed to make of that? I mean, my MIL claims to care about me and wants to have a closer relationship, but she's secretly getting her jollies imagining me humiliated in public.







:


----------



## boingo82

Me: "Have you seen this movie? Supersize me?"
Coworker: "Yeah, it's great! I can't eat fast food anymore though."
Me: "Yeah, I still do rarely but I don't eat chicken nuggets."
Coworker: "Yeah, me either. But my 3 year old loves them so we take him to McDonalds a lot for the happy meals."
Me:


----------



## shishkeberry

Re: wanting a girl or boy
I actually really wanted a boy, but only because I am terrified of cleaning a tiny vagina. I'm so afraid that if I had a dd she'd be riddled with UTI's her whole life because I didn't clean her properly.


----------



## mollyeilis

To be exact, you just clean the vulva, not the vagina.









But that's what scares me about baby girls, all those crevices! Intact boys are sooooo easy to clean!


----------



## shishkeberry

You see? I didn't even know the right word for it!


----------



## Talula Fairie

"Just let her cry, it's good for her lungs."

I think that one took the cake.


----------



## Shaunam

My sister told me I was "sick" for not circ'ing DS. Not that leaving him intact was sick, but *I* was sick for even considering such a thing!

I was so shocked when she said it that I just started rattling off reasons why I chose to leave him intact. What I should've done is given her an earful and told her how rude and thoughtless she was being. Or hung up on her.









The worst part is, when I was explaining my reasons, she told me she didn't want to hear about it because she had made up her mind about circ and she thought hearing about it would change her mind. Well, duh!







: That's because circ'ing sucks and she knows it! She'd rather just live in denial.

She had her 20 week ultrasound last week. It's a







girl: Thank goodness.


----------



## MamaFae

My first visit home (extended family visit, ie grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins etc.) after DS#1 was born was when he was about 7 months old. We were all at my Aunt Jan's house for a family potluck of sorts. I had DS in the sling because he was right in the middle of stranger anxiety and my family is HUGE! That and my Aunt's carpet is original 1970's lime green shag and just the thought of my child crawling on it disgusts me. Oh and they are smokers so you can just imagine.. . .









Anyway, my Uncle's second wife (keep in mind she has onlybeen in our family for a few years and I have been out of state during most of them) sees me with DS in the sling, looks at me as says "You know he is going to be sooo attached to you!" like it was a BAD thing!







:









My reply was, "Um, yeah that's the point"









And this from a women who smoked her whole pregnancy and had an under 5 lb baby with sevear respitory problems. UG!

N~


----------



## Charles Baudelaire

Sorry, but that sounds quite high-handed to me.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Annabelle's Wish*
I have a good friend who is about 55-60 ish {she wont disclose her real age...







} I have brought this up to her, "the eating/stealing" comment. She says that she has said it, if the mother appeared to be not paying enough attention to the child, as if they could get taken by a REAL weirdo- just to stir that protective feeling in the mother. Sometimes she has also said just to stir that in a new mother- stir the desire to hold tighter, said she would watch it the mothers eyes, and know she had done right.

You might have to know her to understand- pretty down to earth and VERY REAL. Thats her way of helping the next generation in that little way- trying to inspire a mother to be more of what she ought.


----------



## Charles Baudelaire

Well, frankly, we wanted a girl (and got one). Mostly and hugely above all, we wanted a healthy child and were concerned about a bad AFP test early in the pregnancy. If we had gotten a boy, we would have loved him like crazy (of course!) but all things being equal, we preferred girls. Why does that demonstrate "lack of gratitude"!??? We've been astoundingly grateful for our child every single day. Literally. Or "complete disrespect for males in general"? This is far too blanket a statement to apply to everyone. Just because it's one size doesn't mean it fits all.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nhklh*
The gender thing is weird to me too. It seems a lot of women (and it doesn't seem to matter straight or lesbian) would rather have a girl than a boy. As though boys are seen as "second best" or something, I find it quite disgusting. Their lack of gratitude at having a healthy _child_ really irks me, as does their complete disrespect for males in general.







:


----------



## Mummoth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Talula Fairie*
"Just let her cry, it's good for her lungs."

I think that one took the cake.

That one has a pretty good comeback to go with it: "Crying is good for the lungs like bleeding is good for the veins"


----------



## ktmama

Wow, I'm blown away by all these comments and have really never had any of my own - until now. When dh told my MIL that we were pg, she recommended that I get an abortion.







Thank goddess that psycho lives in Switzerland.


----------



## indiana ima

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hazelmama*
...So what am I supposed to make of that? I mean, my MIL claims to care about me and wants to have a closer relationship, but she's secretly getting her jollies imagining me humiliated in public.







:

not so secretly!

you know, sometimes i worry about what sort of mother-in-law i will be. stories like this, heavens... well, at least i know i won't be this bad!!!

my son's current fave smiley:


----------



## boingo82

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Charles Baudelaire*
Well, frankly, we wanted a girl (and got one). Mostly and hugely above all, we wanted a healthy child and were concerned about a bad AFP test early in the pregnancy. If we had gotten a boy, we would have loved him like crazy (of course!) but all things being equal, we preferred girls. Why does that demonstrate "lack of gratitude"!??? We've been astoundingly grateful for our child every single day. Literally. Or "complete disrespect for males in general"? This is far too blanket a statement to apply to everyone. Just because it's one size doesn't mean it fits all.

I don't think you're the type of person this comment was about. I imagined it applying to a poster I saw on another board, who actually said that once she found out it was a boy, she did not feel like "trying" to eat healthy, stay away from "bad" foods/drugs, etc. anymore because it was just a boy and she just did not care.


----------



## Charles Baudelaire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *boingo82*
I don't think you're the type of person this comment was about. I imagined it applying to a poster I saw on another board, who actually said that once she found out it was a boy, she did not feel like "trying" to eat healthy, stay away from "bad" foods/drugs, etc. anymore because it was just a boy and she just did not care.

Whoa...what the FISH? This is absurd. With that attitude, the boy's better off being adopted by a mom who REALLY wants him!!!


----------



## boingo82

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Charles Baudelaire*
Whoa...what the FISH? This is absurd. With that attitude, the boy's better off being adopted by a mom who REALLY wants him!!!

Best part is, the whole reason she does not like boys is that they like to dress their girls in a "Hot Topic" kind of style, and she thought boys clothes were all too dorky and stupid.
I was like...for heaven's sake, you can dress him in girl clothes if it means you'll love him!!!


----------



## MelissaEvans

A mom I knew had tried for years to get pregnant, and finally did. She always, always, always wanted a girl and was devistated to find out it was a boy. I talked to her about circ and she acknowledged there was no medical reason, no religious reason, and hurt and still went through with it. I wanted to yell "Hacking off 50-80% of his genital skin may make him less of a man, but it won't turn him into a girl!!!"

On the other hand, she had a step daughter and wasn't very affectionate towards her. I would have been terrified for how she would have been treated had mom got the child of her dreams. I was the unwanted step child and my step mom had her long-awaited son; the differences in how we were treated is pretty big. I was really worried for this daughter.


----------



## aran

MIL only had experience bottle feeding, and she knows practically nothing about bf or the differences to expect in DS compared to DH as a baby, since I am bf-ing (differences like shorter periods of time between feedings, etc.). So, shortly after DS was born, I was explaining many of the details of bf-ing to MIL, and in that conversation I told her that breastmilk is much sweeter than cow's milk or formula. Instantly, a look of alarm came over her face and she said, "I don't know if it's such a good idea to be feeding a baby something so sweet. Won't it just teach him to have a sweet tooth?"









My response was simply:









Luckily, she was smart enough to quickly realize the stupidity of essentially calling bm junk food. But I think there is still a little part of her brain that doesn't get it.


----------



## tammylc

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Chunklin'sMommy*
MIL only had experience bottle feeding, and she knows practically nothing about bf or the differences to expect in DS compared to DH as a baby, since I am bf-ing (differences like shorter periods of time between feedings, etc.). So, shortly after DS was born, I was explaining many of the details of bf-ing to MIL, and in that conversation I told her that breastmilk is much sweeter than cow's milk or formula. Instantly, a look of alarm came over her face and she said, "I don't know if it's such a good idea to be feeding a baby something so sweet. Won't it just teach him to have a sweet tooth?"









Hey - here's a thought... What if America's well known sweet tooth is because we didn't have the sweet taste of mother's milk when we were infants, and so we're always trying to recreate it by eating junk?


----------



## runes

_Hey - here's a thought... What if America's well known sweet tooth is because we didn't have the sweet taste of mother's milk when we were infants, and so we're always trying to recreate it by eating junk?_

Oooh, Tammylc-I like your theory!









On another note and somewhat OT:
My poor DH has some digestive/intestinal issues, which are uncomfortable and embarassing at best and very painful at worst.

In his baby book, there's a picture of him being fed cereal with a spoon. The caption beneath it..."FIRST SOLID FOOD-4 WEEKS"

Poor baby...

Correlation to his present issues? Quite possibly.


----------



## magemom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tammylc*
Hey - here's a thought... What if America's well known sweet tooth is because we didn't have the sweet taste of mother's milk when we were infants, and so we're always trying to recreate it by eating junk?


i have always believed this.


----------



## magemom

Oh! a new one!

I have pink eye. I told DH I put MM in it. He asked if that was ok, would I be allergic to it?? (I am allergic to some western meds)

I sorta get his confusion, why he would think my body would make something the maker is allergic to is unclear. But MM is the perfect food for mamas to make their babies and I am not a baby nor my own mama.

Thanks for thinking of my allergies honey, but NO!


----------



## boingo82

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tammylc*
Hey - here's a thought... What if America's well known sweet tooth is because we didn't have the sweet taste of mother's milk when we were infants, and so we're always trying to recreate it by eating junk?

Not universally true. My family has the biggest sweet tooth of anyone we know, and we were BF to 18 months, 3 years, 3 years, 4 years, 2 years, and 4 years respectively.


----------



## KLK7

Quote:

My poor DH has some digestive/intestinal issues, which are uncomfortable and embarassing at best and very painful at worst.

In his baby book, there's a picture of him being fed cereal with a spoon. The caption beneath it..."FIRST SOLID FOOD-4 WEEKS"

Poor baby...

Correlation to his present issues? Quite possibly.
I have similar "digestive issues" and some of the things my baby book says are:
cereal at 3 days
orange juice at 2.5 weeks
meat soup at 6 weeks

I can't wait to argue with my mother about how I am "starving" my child by not feeding he/she real food.


----------



## bravofrenchie

DH was born with a heart condition. (I forget what it's called, it's where he has a few holes in his heart wall.) Anyway, when MIL brought him home, she started him on a mixture of canned milk & karo syrup, and mushed up table food. (Whatever the family was eating at that mealtime.)

When she brought him in for his checkup (because of his heart, he had to see a doctor every month), the pediatritian asked her what in the world she was feeding him?

She thought she was gonna get an earful about how unhealthy it was, but the doctor said, "Well, keep doing it!"







Apparantly, he was getting really big on this diet. (Gee, ya think? On a diet of corn syrup & mushed bacon?) And today, he can't keep milk down. He's not allergic to dairy, 'cause he can have cheese & ice cream with no problems. It's just if he tries to drink milk, it'll come straight back up! He also has glaucoma (at the age of 21.) Not sure if all this is related or not, but it's interesting...

And my step-SIL has a 1 1/2 year old little boy who is now in & out of the hospital with respratory problems. He was formula fed, & she also started him on solids right away, because she didn't want to "deal with" him waking in the middle of the night.


----------



## ChiroMum

I'm somewhat new here (this being my third post), and after 3 days of sneaking on this thread at work, I have my own experience AND snappy comeback, inspired by many of you ladies, to add!

DD and I were recently at a craft store and I had her in the sling. We live in a VERY conservative, VERY non-crunchy area (heck, state even) and I'm pretty sure none of the people in the store had ever seen a baby in a sling before. This seemingly sweet little 70 + year old lady was checking us out and said...

HER: my goodness, what will they come up with next?
ME: they've been around a while and come in REALLY handy!!
HER: Aren't you afraid your baby will fall out of that??
ME: not at all!
HER: Well, please tell me there is something inbetween her legs!! (DD was dressed in a PINK dress with a PINK bow, and the sling is pink and green)
ME: Nope, she's a girl!









Thanks for the courage ladies!!!


----------



## Lousli

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ChiroMum*
HER: my goodness, what will they come up with next?
ME: they've been around a while and come in REALLY handy!!
HER: Aren't you afraid your baby will fall out of that??
ME: not at all!
HER: Well, please tell me there is something inbetween her legs!! (DD was dressed in a PINK dress with a PINK bow, and the sling is pink and green)
ME: Nope, she's a girl!

















It kind of sounds to me, from the context of the conversation, that she was asking if there was some type of fabric or support between your daughter's legs to help hold her in the sling. I mean, a lot of people don't really understand how the sling sort of forms a pocket around the baby and how it is safe to use. But I wasn't there, so maybe she could have meant the other...


----------



## guerrillamama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lousli*
It kind of sounds to me, from the context of the conversation, that she was asking if there was some type of fabric or support between your daughter's legs to help hold her in the sling. I mean, a lot of people don't really understand how the sling sort of forms a pocket around the baby and how it is safe to use. But I wasn't there, so maybe she could have meant the other...

that's what i thought too.

and i didn't understand it either (how the sling works w/o something between baby's legs) until i used it myself.


----------



## Charles Baudelaire

:LOL :LOL I agree with this poster -- but your comeback is still great!!! :LOL

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lousli*
It kind of sounds to me, from the context of the conversation, that she was asking if there was some type of fabric or support between your daughter's legs to help hold her in the sling. I mean, a lot of people don't really understand how the sling sort of forms a pocket around the baby and how it is safe to use. But I wasn't there, so maybe she could have meant the other...


----------



## catnip

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tammylc*
Hey - here's a thought... What if America's well known sweet tooth is because we didn't have the sweet taste of mother's milk when we were infants, and so we're always trying to recreate it by eating junk?

I remember when I was growing up, the best thing in the world to drink was the left over sweet milk after eating all my cereal. Funny, that's pretty much what my milk tastes exactly like!


----------



## Childishgoth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KLK7*
I have similar "digestive issues" and some of the things my baby book says are:
cereal at 3 days
orange juice at 2.5 weeks
meat soup at 6 weeks

I can't wait to argue with my mother about how I am "starving" my child by not feeding he/she real food.









We were real poor when i was growing up and my mom couldnt afford the formula (i dont think it ever poped in to her head she could breast feed me for free) but anyways, she would chew food up and put it in my mouth so i could eat it from the time i was about 2 months i think. She said by the time i was 4 months she would put stuff in the blendor to feed me, and it wasnt healthy things it was like enchiladas. anways back to the point, i have real bad digestive issues and INSANE food allergies, there is a 2 page list of foods that i cant have at all. it sucks because its hard to eat out because its hard to know what all goes in to the food you eat.
anyways im delaying solids for as long as possible, because as a kid having food allergies means you cant even eat birthday cake at other kids parties (i still remember feeling so sad about that)


----------



## mrspeeper

Ok, I have a few to add, I think I'm a magnet for these...
*Strangers who ask (about my 5-month-old son), "You're STILL breastfeeding? How long do you plan to keep nursing him?" My best friend helped me with the AWESOME reply..."Until his mustache tickles too much."
*My mom's reaction when I finally confessed to her that we co-sleep: "How will you sleep at night after you smother him and you're arrested for negligent homicide?"
*My mom is full of them! How about the time he was in a sleeper with feet that was a little snug: "He's going to need physical therapy to walk if you don't put him in the right sized clothes!"
*My Grandma, after I came down with a bad case of bronchitis and needed antibiotics: "Thank God! You can finally quit nursing him and get some rest!"
*Same Grandma, "If you don't put sugar or corn syrup in his rice cereal how is he supposed to like it?"

I have so many to share! Why do people feel so compelled to say such awful stuff to a new first-time hormonal mama? You just have to laugh and come back with something witty I guess!


----------



## guerrillamama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Charles Baudelaire*
:LOL :LOL I agree with this poster -- but your comeback is still great!!! :LOL

sorry Louisli, now i get it that you got what she meant and you were being a smartass, and it _is_ a great comeback! sorry i'm a little slow sometimes







:


----------



## Jennifer3141

Strangers who ask (about my 5-month-old son), "You're STILL breastfeeding? How long do you plan to keep nursing him?" My best friend helped me with the AWESOME reply..."Until his mustache tickles too much.">>>

OMG, I





























this one!

I have one of those Moms too. She told me today tandem nursing would be awful because my son will always be mad at his sister for "taking his milk."









Jen


----------



## heathenmom

I wish I had time to read all 1000+ of these posts ... people's stupidity and lack of tact will never cease to amaze me.

Here's my worst:

My neighbor was due with twins 2 months after my dd was due. She had them at 25 weeks (their little boy didn't make it). Their little girl was about 1-1/2 lbs. at birth and was in the hospital for a LONG time. Meanwhile, I delivered dd at 40w6d; she weighed 10 lbs. 9 oz. and was 23" long. I had never compared our babies, but was just grateful that both seemed to be thriving ...

DH is friends with her DH, so he took DD over to their house on Hallowe'en for a quick visit. He came home shortly after, really p'd off. The neighbor called my sweet girl a MONSTROSITY.







Hello ... I can't help it that your baby was a preemie and my was overdue. Who says something like that about another person's baby?! I'm not a violent person, but seriously, I was ready to beat that woman to a pulp.


----------



## Aura_Kitten

heathenmom ~







i WOULD have beat them to a pulp.







but sometimes i guess i'm more violent than i'd like to admit...


----------



## Aura_Kitten

i also wanted to add ~ i am consistently ASTOUNDED by the depth of people's stupidity.







and so, so sad at the babies (and grownups who used to be babies) who are suffering as a result.


----------



## heathenmom

Yeah, I was rather taken aback by the violent maternal rage .... say whatever you want about me, but don't talk smack about my baby.


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## TchrGrrl

An oldie...
DS1 was a slow, slow gainer from birth - until he hit 4 months and suddenly he just gained and gained.. and he was a tubby! A cute pudgy, rolly, polly. Absolutely adorable! We were out to breakfast with my parents one morning and this (short and quite round) man says "oh honey, look at that FATTY". Nice, real nice.

A couple of weeks ago...
I was walking with DH, DS1 and DS2 in the sling. I was wearing my black hotsling which I think throws people off because not only are there no rings or ties but it matches much of my clothing. This older woman was staring and staring as she walked closer... and she says "OH! Is that a BABY? I thought it was a DOLL!". Huh? A DOLL? I am over 30 years old, I have my husband and 2 year old with me... why would she think I was carrying a DOLL?


----------



## Corvus

TchrGrrl, I am purchasing a hotsling this time around, b/c I could never get my mayasling to work comfortably with my first baby. I look forward to all the stares and comments. :LOL


----------



## BabyBumblebee

hehehe - my mother is the queen of all comments (this is prolly why we live on separate continents). Amongst my favourites are these old chestnuts:

You're not feeding her enough
You're feeding her too much
She's just manipulating you (dd was 3 weeks old)
You need to let her cry otherwise her lungs won't grow
You need to make her take a soother, otherwise she'll never be independent

and my all time favourite;

Breastfeeding is a selfish thing to do.

huh?? Say what??? Apparently it's very selfish because it means that I'm the only one who can feed my child, and dh will be jealous that the baby has 'his' breasts!!!!!

(dh thought this was hysterical, and said that if he wanted 'his' breasts he'd go and buy some.....as far as he knew those were mine)


----------



## ian'smommaya

alright i got another one

back in the day my mom and dad worked in a restaurant with alot of other people, it was a co-opertive.

so my mom a few days after i was born brings me there to get my dad from work, show me off, what ever a woman she works with is going to have a baby anytime and asks what my name is, my mom says maya rebecca,

this lady says; what a strange name. why would you name her that?

then goes on to name her child a very very odd made up name.

maya- who want to build community


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ian'smommaya*
what ever a woman she works with is going to have a baby anytime and asks what my name is, my mom says maya rebecca,

this lady says; what a strange name. why would you name her that?

then goes on to name her child a very very odd made up name.

:LOL That's too funny.


----------



## shishkeberry

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TchrGrrl*
A couple of weeks ago...
I was walking with DH, DS1 and DS2 in the sling. I was wearing my black hotsling which I think throws people off because not only are there no rings or ties but it matches much of my clothing. This older woman was staring and staring as she walked closer... and she says "OH! Is that a BABY? I thought it was a DOLL!". Huh? A DOLL? I am over 30 years old, I have my husband and 2 year old with me... why would she think I was carrying a DOLL?

I have had people say that to me, too! True, I'm only 21 and I don't have a two year old, but honestly people! Why would I carry a doll around with me to get groceries? WTF?


----------



## green betty

Wow. I've read all these posts and thought hard about the worst thing said to me so far... people are surprisingly appropriate and AP-friendly where I live, apparently! Even my usually outspoken mother has minded her Ps and Qs.

The winner is from my SIL. When we called her after ds was born (why it was our job to call her when she knew the baby had been born is a whole other rant) she asked me to "think forward 20 years and describe what he'll be like--interests, hobbies, etc." When I responded that gee, I just didn't know and that we'd have to find out what his interests were as he discovered them and he told us, she got put out. She really wanted me to decide what he should be like and then collaborate with her on a plan to make it happen!

For the record, she has one grown son who moved to another country the day he turned 18. She hasn't seen him for years. Can't imagine why.


----------



## catnip

Twice now I have been approached by store personnel, while wearing a sling, to politely inform me that I would need to take my "puppy" outside.
And almost three... a Starbucks







: manager who realized I had a baby before opening her mouth but told me she'd been on her way over to tell me the same and offer to bring me my drink out on the patio. She then proceeded to gush and coo over my little love, and swore she was going to get a sling for her next baby.


----------



## heathenmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *catnip*








Twice now I have been approached by store personnel, while wearing a sling, to politely inform me that I would need to take my "puppy" outside.

Oh. My. Gods. Just how stupid do you have to be? I mean, I had never seen anyone wearing a baby before I had Fiona, but I still would never have imagined that someone would be carrying a DOG (or a doll, for that matter) around in a SLING!








:


----------



## User101

People do carry pups in slings. I can't tell you how many people won't buy a sling for a baby (I sell them) but will buy one for their dog. Blows my mind, really.


----------



## HaveWool~Will Felt

I love this one....

Shortly after my daughter died, a family friend called and asked if i was done grieving yet. SHe went onto to say that my daughter was _only_ 6 hours old, so my grief _shouldn't_ last long. Have another baby very soon and all the pain will go away.

Hmmm....what about the fact that I carried her in my womb for 37 weeks? What about all the times she moved in my womb and had hiccups, etc....
And another thing...what do you know about grief? Have you ever had one of your own children, a child that you birthed.....DIE....
No, she said....I didn't think so, was my finally answer.








:LOL Thank goodness I am a stable, couragous woman.

Today my daughter would of been one year old. I celebrate my daughter today and everyday. I am honored that she grew in _my_ womb...for 37 weeks.... and was born alive. I got to meet her. That being one of the most beautiful moments of my life.


----------



## Aura_Kitten

s jackie.

about the sling: i had my daughter in it in the store once while she was an itty bitty newborn, and one old lady came up and said

IS THAT A *BABY*?

i said... yesss and then she got all happy and began gushing about how awesome my sling was, asked where i got it, and told me that her daughter (maybe grand-daughter?) was expecting her 1st and she was going to buy one for her.
















not stupid all, but wanted to share.


----------



## bunsmom

Jackie-









and Happy Birthday to your daughter. It doesn't matter at all how long you grieve, that is so personal. What a wonderful woman you are!!!


----------



## Kundalini-Mama

Jackie,

I just wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday to your daughter







Lots of







to you, and please be gentle with yourself









Amy


----------



## kater07

I didn't notice with DS, but since DD was born 8 weeks ago, I've had people actually follow me around the mall and grocery trying to get a glimpse of what I am carrying. I see people whip around me tryng to be descrete and then hear them say "yes, it IIIISSS a baby!" in hushed tones. Several have stopped me to find out where to get a sling or pouch (whichever I have on) and lots tell me what a great "new" invention. lol

I am really enjoying the fact that b/c of the sling, people are still noticing my beautiful son BEFORE the baby. It breaks my heart when people talk to me about her and never even say hi to him. I ALWAYS make sure that I tell people they have beautiful KIDS not just a beautiful baby. I make sure I talk to the older kids too.

My STUIPD HEARTLESS comment of the month is this. A man at the PO told me that he didn't pick up his daughters until they were nearly a year old. He said that he just told them that he couldn't help them and left them to cry until their mom could soothe them. OK, I KNOW that babies like mommy better for the first little bit, but GEEZ, do NOT be proud that you didn't even TRY! I looked at him and asked him if he daughters trust him now to be able to help them and said that not cuddling your kids is NOT something to be proud of.

Oh, and one of my best friends has a sling for her dog. She also has a purse like carrier that she carries with her EVERYWHERE so that he can go to the mall, grocery shopping and even into restaurants with her. She's not planning to have children, and this little doggy IS her baby. He's the only "baby" she will ever have (most likely as it's hard for her and her DH to find pets that they aren't severely allergic to). She purchases slings for everyone she knows who is PG or has a new baby.


----------



## indiana ima

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jackieg213*
Shortly after my daughter died, a family friend called and asked if i was done grieving yet. SHe went onto to say that my daughter was _only_ 6 hours old, so my grief _shouldn't_ last long. Have another baby very soon and all the pain will go away.

ugh. i've already responded to this sort of thing, and am arrogant enough to now point ya'll to what i've already said.







:
http://mothering.com/discussions/sho...el#post2445620

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jackieg213*
Hmmm....what about the fact that I carried her in my womb for 37 weeks? What about all the times she moved in my womb and had hiccups, etc....
And another thing...what do you know about grief? Have you ever had one of your own children, a child that you birthed.....DIE....
No, she said....I didn't think so, was my finally answer.

good for you for saying these things and defending yourself. most people in that situation would be too incapacitated with grief to say anything and would just listen to it, horrified. thus leading the speaker to think they had done well to say those awful things!

i am glad that in your case, your grief empowered you instead. your daughter must have been a great gift, to have afforded you the power in your heart and mouth to speak truth and outrage to her falsehoods.


----------



## nhklh

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Charles Baudelaire*
Well, frankly, we wanted a girl (and got one). Mostly and hugely above all, we wanted a healthy child and were concerned about a bad AFP test early in the pregnancy. If we had gotten a boy, we would have loved him like crazy (of course!) but all things being equal, we preferred girls. Why does that demonstrate "lack of gratitude"!??? We've been astoundingly grateful for our child every single day. Literally. Or "complete disrespect for males in general"? This is far too blanket a statement to apply to everyone. Just because it's one size doesn't mean it fits all.

Boingo82 said it first, but you are not the sort of person I'm talking about. Boingo's example of a person is a very extreme version of what I mean (Boingo, that is unbelievably sad!). I know people who do nothing but complain that their child is a boy. Never mind that their child is healthy, they had an uncomplicated pregnancy, or even that they were able to get pregnant at all! I meant absolutely no offense to you and it certainly wasn't supposed to be a blanket statement at all.







:


----------



## nhklh

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jackieg213*
Today my daughter would of been one year old.

Happy birthday to your DD, and much love and strength to you.


----------



## Tummy

Coming from a friend of mine two days after the birth of my DD who is 2 1/2 months younger then her DD...

her: Congrats, what did you name her?
me: Well, I could not decide on a name, but ***(a friend) did. Her name is Jenna.
her: JENNA?!? OMG, that is a porn star name!!
me: WTF IS BLAZE?

she named her daughter BLAZE DEVON... and my daughter has a porn stars name???


----------



## William's Mom

Jackie,







to you and your baby.


----------



## User101

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tummy*
Coming from a friend of mine two days after the birth of my DD who is 2 1/2 months younger then her DD...

her: Congrats, what did you name her?
me: Well, I could not decide on a name, but ***(a friend) did. Her name is Jenna.
her: JENNA?!? OMG, that is a porn star name!!
me: WTF IS BLAZE?

she named her daughter BLAZE DEVON... and my daughter has a porn stars name???









:LOL


----------



## heathenmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie*
People do carry pups in slings. I can't tell you how many people won't buy a sling for a baby (I sell them) but will buy one for their dog. Blows my mind, really.

Well slap my







& call me Sally!! While that sounds utterly ridiculous to me (my dog is 40 lbs. of wriggley spastic-ness), I believe you.


----------



## spunky

My father told me when I was preg. that we shouldn't sleep with the baby because we might roll on it and kill it. He said that he heard that kind of story on the news every night where he lived. He then when on to say that that was probably because he lived in a poor and ignorant area. All I could get out was Huh!?
My MIL asked me, while preg., when I planned to stop bf so the baby could stay with her overnight without me. I didn't have the heart to tell her that it would be years.
Then when ds was born, my FIL was holding him and he started to cry (1 day old). He holds him at arms length and says, "Isn't he so cute. He's even cute when he cries!" and keeps holding him up. I finally got him back, but him on my boob and said, "It is not cute when he cries."
I'm with all of you about being tired of the weaning questions (at 6 mo. - well he has to learn how to eat sometime or at 12 mo - Well, he still looks healthy even though all he is getting is mother's milk.) the sleeping through the night questions (I usually say he sleeps better than I do).


----------



## Childishgoth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kater07*

Oh, and one of my best friends has a sling for her dog. She also has a purse like carrier that she carries with her EVERYWHERE so that he can go to the mall, grocery shopping and even into restaurants with her. She's not planning to have children, and this little doggy IS her baby. He's the only "baby" she will ever have (most likely as it's hard for her and her DH to find pets that they aren't severely allergic to). She purchases slings for everyone she knows who is PG or has a new baby.

When dh wears ds, i will put the puppy in my sling... is that bad???


----------



## catnip

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Childishgoth*
When dh wears ds, i will put the puppy in my sling... is that bad???

I tested all of my slings on my mellow neutered tomcat while I was pregnant to get the hang of wearing it. He loved riding in them when I caught him in the right mood.


----------



## Charles Baudelaire

Actually, "Blaze Devon" sounds like a really, really bad -- like _Passions_ bad -- soap character name.

The time to tell you "Jenna" sounded like a porn star name (not that I agree, FWIW) was BEFORE you put it on the birth certificate.

I'm fond of giving people my really blunt, completely opinionated and offensive comments about possible baby names _when they ask_ for them, but after the baby is named, it's hands-off, keep-my-dumb-cake-hole-shut time. :LOL

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tummy*
Coming from a friend of mine two days after the birth of my DD who is 2 1/2 months younger then her DD...

her: Congrats, what did you name her?
me: Well, I could not decide on a name, but ***(a friend) did. Her name is Jenna.
her: JENNA?!? OMG, that is a porn star name!!
me: WTF IS BLAZE?

she named her daughter BLAZE DEVON... and my daughter has a porn stars name???


----------



## kater07

I remember when DS was small, my very supportive, VERY wonderful MIL used to say stuff about "real" food all the time. I knew she meant SOLID food, and I never called her on it, but it still bothers me. I know it will all start again when DD is a little older. I WILL say that Breastmilk IS real food and correct everyone this time around.

I can't believe people would EVER (unless totally necessary, and no that vacation trip to the bahamas is NOT "necessary") leave their INFANT over night! I have a rule that our kids will not stay alone overnight anywhere until they can talk enough to answer questions honestly and tell us exactly what they did with whomever they are staying with.

And, no, I totally think that animals are part of the family, and if you and your pet are totally ok with being attached, then slinging and cosleeping with them is fine too! I saw a story somewhere (probably here years ago) about a woman who was pumping for puppies whose mommy had died.







There's nothing wrong with treating our pets with love and kindness.


----------



## heathenmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kater07*
And, no, I totally think that animals are part of the family, and if you and your pet are totally ok with being attached, then slinging and cosleeping with them is fine too! I saw a story somewhere (probably here years ago) about a woman who was pumping for puppies whose mommy had died.







There's nothing wrong with treating our pets with love and kindness.

Gods, I hope I didn't come off as some kind of animal-hater. I







my kitty & puppy, and ALL the cats & dogs I've ever had, but their temperaments (and size) are/were so NOT sling-friendly that the thought of slinging them literally would never have occurred to me in a million years.


----------



## MamaHippo

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Childishgoth*
OMG we just got a great one for our ped today!!

ped: so it says your breastfeeding
me: yes
ped: but he is 4 months now
me: yes
*ped stands there staring at m*
me: so are we done?
ped: why are you breastfeeding him at 4 months?
me: because he gets hungry??
Ped: but breastfeeding is only benifitial for the first 2 months.
me: Okay we are going to leave now.

haha i was putting the babies clothes on on the way to the car, my dh joined us later laughing his head off. he said the dr didnt say a single word to him just sood there.


I can't believe there are still doctors who have that attitude. My sister's SIL has a ped. in MI who told her that breastfeeding your baby is equivalent to "feeding your baby your snot". He also said her milk was soured (???!??). So she f-fed her kids, going solely on what this idiot tells her.









My Ped. is about 80, and she is the greatest lady on earth. At the 6-mo visit she asked, "are you still bfing?" I said yes, she asks how long we will do it, and i said, "Oh, until he's 2 or 3". And she smiles at me and says, "GREAT! I wish more moms would think like you. You're giving your child innumerable benefits for life." She is also pro-cosleeping (the only doc so far who hasnt told me, "GET THAT BABY OUT OF YOUR BED RIGHT NOW!!"). When i went to see her for his 3 mo visit and admitted he was in our bed (Still a little afraid of what the reaction would be), she said, "Oh yes, i had 5 kids and they all slept with me."









Lisa


----------



## shishkeberry

Quote:

My sister's SIL has a ped. in MI who told her that breastfeeding your baby is equivalent to "feeding your baby your snot"
WTF?!?!


----------



## Mummoth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MamaHippo*
My sister's SIL has a ped. in MI who told her that breastfeeding your baby is equivalent to "feeding your baby your snot"

Thats what my sister said to me... or rather, "Watching someone breastfeed is like watching them pick their nose & feed their snot to their baby"

Quote:


Originally Posted by *shishkeberry*
WTF?!?!

That's what I said!!

She's pregnant now & has come out with some real gems:

"They don't give c-sections unless they're necessary"
"There is nothing you can do to avoid a c-section... I'm just crossing my fingers"
"I don't want a doula at my bith because I don't want some hippy pressuring me not to take drugs if I need them"
"DH isn't as closed minded as I thought, he's at least willing to look at information about not circ'ing, but I'm not totally closed minded on not having it done either" (her DH wants it done, she doesn't) To me the last part sounds like "Ya know, most people think wife-beating is bad, but I'm not totally closed minded, so if my husband wants to smack me around, that'd probably be okay with me"

I pretty much brace myself to hear something maddening every time she opens her mouth.


----------



## Childishgoth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MamaHippo*
, she said, "Oh yes, i had 5 kids and they all slept with me."









Lisa


I'm still looking for a great ped like you found!!


----------



## Aura_Kitten

i missed this the first time around...

Quote:

OMG we just got a great one for our ped today!!

ped: so it says your breastfeeding
me: yes
ped: but he is 4 months now
me: yes
*ped stands there staring at m*
me: so are we done?
ped: why are you breastfeeding him at 4 months?
me: because he gets hungry??
Ped: but breastfeeding is only benifitial for the first 2 months.
me: Okay we are going to leave now.

haha i was putting the babies clothes on on the way to the car, my dh joined us later laughing his head off. he said the dr didnt say a single word to him just sood there.








:

but GAH







how many people has that idiot of a "doctor" pushed away from breastfeeding because of her own ignorance / stupidity?!!?


----------



## Queen of Cups

I had my 10-month-old son in a pouch sling today while I was in line picking up lunch at a bagel place - he was sitting on my hip. The woman behind the counter said to me, "So, do those things really work to carry your baby?" I gave her a strange look and said, "Yeah... Obviously." And she said, "Well, I'm just afraid my daughter will wiggle out and fall down. Does that happen?" So I said, "I've been carrying him in this since he was born and he has never fallen out. I think its wonderful."

Did she really think I would use it if he fell out of it regularly?

(I wear him in it a lot when we're out and I almost always get positive comments like, "He looks so comfy!" "I wish someone would carry me around like that!" and "Look! How cute!")


----------



## User101

I always say, well, he's my third and I haven't dropped one yet.










I love the little old ladies who gasp and say "Can't he breathe in their?!?!"
I always shrug and say, no, but he's our third and we have too more at home, so we're willing to chance it.
:LOL

Once a little old woman at the library booksale said something about "Poor baby, all scrunched up" and kept making tsk tsk noises. Finally I said, look, lady, he's a lot happier than you obviously are.


----------



## Mummoth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie*
Once a little old woman at the library booksale said something about "Poor baby, all scrunched up" and kept making tsk tsk noises. Finally I said, look, lady, he's a lot happier than you obviously are.

Good answer! I say "She's never hesitated to let me know when something is bothering her. I'm sure she'll let me know if she's uncomfortable."


----------



## Childishgoth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie*
I always say, well, he's my third and I haven't dropped one yet.









I love the little old ladies who gasp and say "Can't he breathe in their?!?!"
I always shrug and say, no, but he's our third and we have too more at home, so we're willing to chance it.
:LOL

Once a little old woman at the library booksale said something about "Poor baby, all scrunched up" and kept making tsk tsk noises. Finally I said, look, lady, he's a lot happier than you obviously are.

My grandmother (she died before i had ds) was from mexico and when she saw someone leaving their baby in a stroller or in their car seat would always tell me that she didnt like how americans treated their babies like luggage. I never understood that till i had ds







:


----------



## mollyeilis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *catnip*








Twice now I have been approached by store personnel, while wearing a sling, to politely inform me that I would need to take my "puppy" outside.
And almost three... a Starbucks







: manager who realized I had a baby before opening her mouth but told me she'd been on her way over to tell me the same and offer to bring me my drink out on the patio. She then proceeded to gush and coo over my little love, and swore she was going to get a sling for her next baby.


I think we can blame people like Paris Hilton and Brittney Spears for the dog thing...suddenly everyone is carrying around little bitty dogs. We were just up in BC this weekend and I've never seen so many little dogs out with their owners before!

Anyway, I took our cat to the vet. She was in her proper cat carrier, and DS was in his sling, but the desk was really tall and they only saw the sling...they totally thought the cat was in the sling.









FWIW, regarding the porn star name...she probably wasn't saying Jenna *sounded* like a porn star, but that it *is* a porn star's name. I used to work for Amazon.com's customer service, and in the interest of helping a customer find what he wanted, googled "Jenna Jameson" once...ay ay ay, never again!


----------



## MamaHippo

catnip said:


> Twice now I have been approached by store personnel, while wearing a sling, to politely inform me that I would need to take my "puppy" outside.
> QUOTE]
> 
> Hehaha, I ws at a farmer's market with DS when he was a month old in the sling, and some guy came up to me and said, "Miss, did you PAY for all that?" and gestured to my sling. Aparently he thought i was stealing produce in my sling!! i pulled the fabric away from sleeping babe's face and said, "Yes sir, I paid my hospital bill." Snarky , i know, but
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> . STEALING produce in my sling???
> 
> One onhand, my sling is a sage green twill, and i was wearing greenish overalls, so i can see how he may not have seen it.


----------



## odenata

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tummy*
Coming from a friend of mine two days after the birth of my DD who is 2 1/2 months younger then her DD...

her: Congrats, what did you name her?
me: Well, I could not decide on a name, but ***(a friend) did. Her name is Jenna.
her: JENNA?!? OMG, that is a porn star name!!
me: WTF IS BLAZE?

she named her daughter BLAZE DEVON... and my daughter has a porn stars name???









Well, I think of Blaze more as an exotic dancer name than porn star. :LOL

Has your friend seen the movie Blaze? (FYI - Just an Amazon link, nothing bad, I promise!)


----------



## ian'smommaya

isnt that the lover of the now dead governer of louisana, known for his ummmm wild life?

maya -loving the name blaze


----------



## catnip

Isn't Jenna the name of one of Dubya's kids? (Not that that recommends it in my book.) I think it's a pretty name despite that!


----------



## indiana ima

Quote:


Originally Posted by *catnip*
Isn't Jenna the name of one of Dubya's kids?

yup. he and Laura named their twins after their mothers. the other twin is named Barbara.

IMNSHO it would be hard to think of two other names that went together more poorly. well no, ok, i guess twins named Sierrah and Hildegard would be less of a match, but still ...

actually, this could be fun. i think i'll go start a TAO thread about poor matches for twin names.


----------



## jraohc

We just got an oddly dumb comment from dh's grandpa - he told me that me and mil should leave dd (9 months old) home with dh and fil so that me and mil could go shopping for dd. The reason we should leave her home is because some parents leave their baby in the car while they shop and so this way dd would be with dh and fil. When I reassured him that we weren't leaving dd in the car he then was afraid that someone was going to come abduct dd from her stroller because mil and I would be so involved in our shopping that we'd be ignoring her. I think he watches too many soap operas!


----------



## MelissaEvans

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jraohc*
... he then was afraid that someone was going to come abduct dd from her stroller because mil and I would be so involved in our shopping that we'd be ignoring her. I think he watches too many soap operas!

Use a sling and put his mind totally at ease. =) Well, somone who thinks of things like that might never be able to be at ease... But there's already been many stupid sling comments in this thread with good comebacks. =)


----------



## Mummoth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jraohc*
We just got an oddly dumb comment from dh's grandpa - he told me that me and mil should leave dd (9 months old) home with dh and fil so that me and mil could go shopping for dd. The reason we should leave her home is because some parents leave their baby in the car while they shop and so this way dd would be with dh and fil. When I reassured him that we weren't leaving dd in the car he then was afraid that someone was going to come abduct dd from her stroller because mil and I would be so involved in our shopping that we'd be ignoring her. I think he watches too many soap operas!

That sounds to me like he wanted to spend time with his grand-daughter, and he just has no idea how to ask.


----------



## spunky

The comment I always get while slingin' is
"I wish I had that when I had babies!"
Gee, I wasn't aware that mankind started out with strollers!


----------



## MelissaEvans

When I have DS in my Maya Wrap, I tend to get more reactions from Spanish speaking people. Older women talk to me; gentlemen smile; but young women seem to look at me in discust as if to say, "What's that gringa doing with that?" And I want to turn around and go, "Well, what are *you* doing with a stroller? So I like how your native culture treats children better than mine."


----------



## User101

I get "Well, that's a new way to carry a baby" whe I have a wee one in a sling. I always laugh and say, actually, it's a very old way to carry a baby!


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## lisahas2cats

People ask me if DD is a good baby.....I gently respond by saying "Well, I'm not really sure what a *bad* baby looks like.....". They always get a more thoughtful look on their faces and say "Well, that's true!".

When i was pg with DD, DS (age 14) was playing JV football. The mom of one of his friends, grabbed me by the arm one night and said "Turn around...let me see your butt". I was laughing so hard, all I could do was comply. She then grabbed my shirt and pulled it tight so she could more accurately assess my ass. I look at her (mortified) husband and say "I believe your wife is checking me out". After her careful examination, she announces "You're having a boy. Your butt and hips haven't spread at all". Apparently DD had ideas other than being a boy









Lisa


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## Hilary_Anne

When I was about 4 months pregnant (I am now a little more than 23 weeks) and just starting to gain weight more rapidly some friends of mine were over and talking about my pregnancy. Somebody made the comment that I was really starting to look pregnant and then another dear friend of mine responded "No, you don't really look pregnant at all. Just really fat." I wasn't sure how to respond except, "yeah, there's a lot of baby in there."


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## rachelmarie

Wow... I've just read most of this thread - it took me several days, and it is hilarious/annoying/sad/etc. all at once. Anyway, I just had to add a few things.

1) When I was about 5 months pg I had so many people tell me there was no way I was that far along because I was just so tiny. Okaaaaay... well, since you say so my doctor must be lying to me.

2) DH and I named our son Jude Adam. Adam is dh's first name. MIL came over and she says "you know, in the South people always go by their middle names so if you decide that you don't like Jude anymore you can just call him Adam." WTH? I have never heard that people in the South ALWAYS go by their middle names. And we really like the name Jude. That's why we chose to name him that. Geez... I couldn't even say anything to that. BTW - she is like overly attached to dh and I think that is why she wanted us to call ds Adam.

3) Just on Easter we made our first big trip since ds was born (he's 10 weeks now). My aunt (in the family by marriage) came into my parents house and ds was happily playing on the floor, looking at his toy, while I was talking to him. She walks right over and says "oh how cute!" and I said "yeah, he's enjoying playing right now." and she picks him up anyway without asking. He starts to fuss and he was looking at my dad and she said (in a baby voice) "oh, you don't like grandpa's boring brown shirt?? That's no fun to look at!" (It seriously annoys me when people put words in my baby's mouth. Especially to insult others.) Then I took ds away from her saying that he was hungry and I needed to nurse him. When ds was finished nursing, everyone had sat down to eat. I was just going to hold ds while I ate. My grandma offered to hold him while I got my food so I said okay. After I sat down to eat, grandma was having trouble eating and holding ds so I told her that I was getting pretty good at holding him and eating at the same time, so I could take him back if she wanted me to. Annoying aunt says: "Rachel, you don't have to be so SELFISH you get to hold him all the time." I said "Yeah, well, I'm allowed to be selfish - he's MY baby." So my dad had already finished eating and wanted to hold ds for awhile before dh, ds, and I left to go home. My dad held him for maybe 2 minutes (while aunt was eating as fast as possible to finish) and then jumped up and grabbed ds out of my dad's arms. I was so upset/mad that I went into the kitchen and cried!

Anyway, I just had to write all this. I wanted to add to all the craziness. BTW, this is my first time posting on MDC and I have to say that this place is awesome! Just from reading stuff on this board, I have become so enlightened and encouraged to parent in the way that my instincts are telling me to. I'm a new mom so I need all the encouragement I can get.


----------



## User101

Welcome to Mothering, Rachel!


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## ian'smommaya

welcome rachel,

we've all been where you were at with one person or another, maybe you can tell by all the posts in this thread.


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## dnr3301

Quote:


Originally Posted by *judesmama*
2) DH and I named our son Jude Adam. Adam is dh's first name. MIL came over and she says "you know, in the South people always go by their middle names so if you decide that you don't like Jude anymore you can just call him Adam." WTH? I have never heard that people in the South ALWAYS go by their middle names. And we really like the name Jude. That's why we chose to name him that. Geez... I couldn't even say anything to that. BTW - she is like overly attached to dh and I think that is why she wanted us to call ds Adam.

Rachel, you reminded me of another one: We had always planned on a boy to be named Jalen Daniel. We love it, it fits well with our last name, we don't care if people think we have a Jalen Rose fan club in our house (dd's middle name is Rose, coincidence). We did first hear his name during the NCAA Final Four the year Jalen Rose was in college, but haven't followed him since then. Daniel is dh's name, not one I especially like, but tradition in his family, so I went with it.

Dumb comment regarding ds's name #1:
"He'll be the only white kid in the country with the name Jalen," followed by laughter. Ummm, doubtful, but so what? I love the name, lay off me.
Dumb comment #2: "did you say Jayden? My brother's sister in law's niece named her girl that."
Dumb comment #3: "Jalen? Sounds like he's in jail." Right-o, isn't it pronounced "jailing" in your head? This was my MIL, not the same person who made the racist #1 comment, this one really was about pronounciation. Also, it was made during the phone call to tell her the new baby had been born.
(She also got mad because we didn't call them to tell them. "Ummm, that's what we're doing right now. He was born less than 3 hours ago." "Well I bet Rebecca's mother found out before us," gee ya think? Maybe because she was here watching dd during the birth? She also was at my first birth. MIL also told us that "at least you named him something normal for his middle name, so when he's older and hates his name, he can use that, we'll just see what he chooses..."
Dumb comment #4: While I was still pregnant, dh's grandmother told us she didn't like the name Jalen, "so I'll just call him Jay." She just happens to have a next door nieghbor who she loves named Jay. Her suggestion for a name, since she didn't like ours? Byron. Yeah, Athena and Byron go well together.
Dumb comment #5: "where'd you get Daniel from?" or alternately but same general theme "Is the middle name after Dan?"

People have pretty much laid off mow that he's here, but we had so much crap about both of our kids' names before they were born it's nuts. We love them, so we went with them.


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## MamaHippo

All this stuff with names is so funny yet terrible! We had a big issue with my MIL over DS's name BEFORE he was even born. In DH's family (from the South) the firstborn son is always named Robert. Its been that way for about 6 generations. The middle name is sposed to be the mom's dad's name. My husband is Robert Richard, his dad is Robert Charles, his dad was Robert Freeman, yada yada. We have a long line of Bobs (my DH is a Rob, though). I knew that i didnt want another Bob in the family, and we didnt want a Rob Junior. So, following family tradition, my son should have been Robert Roland. That didnt fit with our personalities at all, and we didnt like the sound of it with our last name, so we nixed the idea. We told MIL that Robert would be the middle name for the baby, and she was furious. We got the whole lecture of how we were killing the family tradition, "he wont be part of the great tradition," etc etc. Well, gee, he's still in the family, isnt he??? She even said "well *I* will call him robert anyway, even if you dont."

She kept bugging us to change our mind until after he was born and i kindly informed her that the birth certificate was already filed, and his name was Noah Robert. She just cant seem to call him by his proper name though, so now she calls him Butch.







Yeeecchhh.

Lisa


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## artgoddess

Hippomama, I think that's awful about your MIL. She really could be appreciative that you gave up the middle name for her family tradition. Personally I don't like the name after someone else thing. You made a compromise and she should appreciate that.


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## granolagina

When my first was about 8 months old (co-sleeping and nursing every 2 hours) my SIL told us to put him in a crib with a bottle of JUICE, shut the door, and let him go to sleep. "If you don't get him out of your bed now, he will never leave." This coming from a mother of 2 who didn't breastfeed at all and worked for a pediatric dentist for 17 YEARS!!!!! Juice in a bottle at bedtime????? CRAZY.

Well, that baby did nurse until his 5th birthday but he does enjoy sleeping in his own bed right now.


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## mama*marina

Now that ds is nearing the age of food and drink (by everyone elses standards), my grandma tells me that he is thirsty all the time. What the ??? He nurses every 3-4 hours.

I was pregnant, and my other grandma's SO looked at me and said "omg, she IS big" (I was 39 weeks), it took all I could not to cry. At that point you know you are big, but you are tired of being pregnant, swollen, everyone making comments... that just pretty much threw me over the edge.


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## StarMama

Oh my the name wars! I posted the long drawn out story when it happened (I was pregnant at the time, so quite awhile ago) but the short version is my MIL had a FIT about Orion's name. His middle name is my Dh's name, and she begged for us to change it around and make Orion his middle name. She told us that "he won't ever be able to be president with that name!" (I should have countered that he wouldn't be likely to get a shot at presidency if he was a girl either), and that (and this is the worst) "Only black people name their kids weird names!"







OMG. I was floored. We are NOT telling Dh's side of the family any future name choice prior to a birth certificate being filled out!


----------



## amyjeans

this was probably posted earlier, but I haven;t read thru all the posts yet...
My mom said that infants dont smile, its just gas.
I asked my mom, do you smile when you have gas?
I don't!
And the co-sleeping thing, my mom thinks that my dds will never move out and become independent.
Oh how wrong can she be!
UC? Well, my mil, who knows the wole story about our UC decision told my dd#2- "Thank God your Daddy was there to catch you!"















Like if he wasn't there, dd would just plop on the ground, and I would leave and do the laundry or something.
NOT!
I just chose not to engage her any longer.
My mom, I let her have it all the time...my job I guess!


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## Hemiola

When I was pregnant, DH's uncle told us that the "best thing to do is to ask your pediatrician if he's participating in any formula trials. That way you can get all your formula free. You never know if you're getting the name brand or the test formula but hey...it's free!"

We were so







we didn't know what to say!
First of all, why in the world would he think we were going to use formula? And secondly, the whole "formula trial" thing is very strange. Either you get the "name brand" stuff that has been tested and you KNOW causes problems for babies or you get the "trial" stuff that hasn't been tested and you don't know how many ADDITIONAL problems it may cause. CRAZY!!!


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## Hemiola

My DH has a 13 year old sister (14 years age difference) and when Caleb was about 4 months old I was explaining to her what a "crunchy mama" was because we had an AP playgroup coming up that weekend. She thought that name was funny and we all kinda laughed for a minute until MIL said to Caleb (I hate it when people use him as the innocent messenger), "Well, you can play with those kids for a little while, but not too long. You have to be a real boy! There's nothing wrong with Pampers...they keep you drier."








:
I didn't know what to say! I could hardly believe my ears! I managed to leave the room with no display of violence.









Oh, and the joke's on her! She was right about cloth diapers...we ditched them (for the most part). WE EC!! Ha Ha Ha! :LOL


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## Aura_Kitten

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hemiola*
She was right about cloth diapers...we ditched them (for the most part). WE EC!! Ha Ha Ha! :LOL

:LOL


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## julielenore

My 9 mo ds was crying on friday so I picked him up. My MIL told me to stop "babying" him.







Um, he IS a baby!!!!!


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## mommykof5

Ha Ha got a new one. We (all 6 of us) were at the store this morning and a lady came up to me and said "what beautiful children you have" I was like thank you. Her friend said "You must be one of the wanna be hippie people or are you Morman?" (no I am not starting a religious debate just repeating what she said.)


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## boingo82

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommykof5*
Ha Ha got a new one. We (all 6 of us) were at the store this morning and a lady came up to me and said "what beautiful children you have" I was like thank you. Her friend said "You must be one of the wanna be hippie people or are you Morman?" (no I am not starting a religious debate just repeating what she said.)

I live in a predominantly Mormon community, and knowing the people just makes that comment seem all the more bizarre.


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## Shaunam

My sister and I took all the cousins in the immediate family (4 kids and one baby) to get a portrait done at jcpenney. My DS was 8 weeks old at the time (he's 11 weeks now







) and he's a CHUNK! Everybody loves how fat he is and I get lots of strangers just stop to admire his fat rolls. :LOL So the photographer asked how old he was and I told her and her eyes about popped out of her head. She said "what are you feeding him!?" I said "mommy milk." She just said "oh" and went back to posing the kids.

Later, when me and my sis were looking at the pics on the computer, deciding which ones to get, DS got hungry, so I proceeded to nurse him. The photographer looked at me and said, "so THAT'S what he's eating! no wonder he's so big!"

Ummm...did she think that "mommy milk" was a new brand of formula or something?

I always use the term "mommy milk". I just think it sounds cuter than "breastmilk". I wonder if anyone else has thought that I've got top-of-the-line, so new it's unheard-of formula for my kid.


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## heathenmom

I've got a new one to add ... from my SISTER of all people.







:

She went camping with me, dh & the baby this past week. It was a LONG car trip to the camp site (12+ hrs.), but Fiona did pretty well for most of the ride. I sat in the back with her and my sister sat up front with dh. DD got really fussy at one point ... I had been trying to calm her down for about 15-20 minutes, but she was really screaming. My sister (who has a 21 y/o son & a 16 y/o daughter) says, "You know what I did when Chelsea got to that point? I'd pop her hand."










I replied, rather sharply, "I'm not HITTING my daughter because she's upset." I mean, WTH? What kind of sense does that make? I heard her say kind of defensively, "Just as a distraction ...."







It caused a pretty horrible argument and we've had to agree to disagree on certain parenting issues. She adores Fiona and I know she'd never intentionally hurt her, but good grief! I'll admit I'm not 100% against corporal punishment in certain circumstances, but dd is *7 MONTHS OLD!!!!* Not to mention I could tell by her cry that something was wrong. Found out later that she was developing a nasty diaper rash from sitting WAY too long in the car.







: I didn't want to pop her hand, I wanted to cradle & comfort her. *sigh* I simply do not understand the way some people think.


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## Charles Baudelaire

Did you know that you can nurse her while she is still strapped safely into her car seat and you're belted in? Especially easy while the seat is back-facing, but still possible even if it's not.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heathenmom*
I've got a new one to add ... from my SISTER of all people.







:

She went camping with me, dh & the baby this past week. It was a LONG car trip to the camp site (12+ hrs.), but Fiona did pretty well for most of the ride. I sat in the back with her and my sister sat up front with dh. DD got really fussy at one point ... I had been trying to calm her down for about 15-20 minutes, but she was really screaming. My sister (who has a 21 y/o son & a 16 y/o daughter) says, "You know what I did when Chelsea got to that point? I'd pop her hand."










I replied, rather sharply, "I'm not HITTING my daughter because she's upset." I mean, WTH? What kind of sense does that make? I heard her say kind of defensively, "Just as a distraction ...."







It caused a pretty horrible argument and we've had to agree to disagree on certain parenting issues. She adores Fiona and I know she'd never intentionally hurt her, but good grief! I'll admit I'm not 100% against corporal punishment in certain circumstances, but dd is *7 MONTHS OLD!!!!* Not to mention I could tell by her cry that something was wrong. Found out later that she was developing a nasty diaper rash from sitting WAY too long in the car.







: I didn't want to pop her hand, I wanted to cradle & comfort her. *sigh* I simply do not understand the way some people think.


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## heathenmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Charles Baudelaire*
Did you know that you can nurse her while she is still strapped safely into her car seat and you're belted in? Especially easy while the seat is back-facing, but still possible even if it's not.

Yes, and I used that method frequently ... right up until dd went on a month-long nursing strike. Up until that point my supply was tenuous at best. I pumped, took all the galactagogues I could get my hands on, pumped some more, drank water 'til I floated, and pumped more still, but I couldn't get dd to latch on for more than a few minutes a day and after a while, there just wasn't any milk left. It depresses the heck out of me if I think about it too much.


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## Charles Baudelaire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heathenmom*









Yes, and I used that method frequently ... right up until dd went on a month-long nursing strike. Up until that point my supply was tenuous at best. I pumped, took all the galactagogues I could get my hands on, pumped some more, drank water 'til I floated, and pumped more still, but I couldn't get dd to latch on for more than a few minutes a day and after a while, there just wasn't any milk left. It depresses the heck out of me if I think about it too much.


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## Aura_Kitten

charles, that's not always possible.

case in point: my small frame, carrying my small breasts, attempting to contort myself over my daughter's gigantic carseat (and her tiny head tucked into it). nope. not happening.


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## TchrGrrl

Dumbest thing that I seem to hear over and over and over and over from a particular group of friends...

"I have this GREAT book you should read, it is by this guy named Ezzo..."


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## MelissaEvans

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TchrGrrl*
Dumbest thing that I seem to hear over and over and over and over from a particular group of friends...

"I have this GREAT book you should read, it is by this guy named Ezzo..."













































"I found this GREAT website you should check out called www.ezzo.info..."
Acutally, I was at B&N and saw a pregnant couple buying that book. I intentionally followed them and asked if they knew much about it (they didn't) and told them they may want to check out that site. Hopefully, they did and burned the book...


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## kater07

A woman at the store a few days back stopped me to talk about my gorgeous children. My ds was particularly chatty that day and she said something to the effect of daycare kids always talking sooo well. I said that he's not in daycare that I am a stay at home mom, and she mumbled something about him obviously being special b/c only daycare kids learned to talk that well.

Sigh


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## Shaunam

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Charles Baudelaire*
Did you know that you can nurse her while she is still strapped safely into her car seat and you're belted in? Especially easy while the seat is back-facing, but still possible even if it's not.

I did this with my DS on a 650 mile trip. It was very difficult, but I think it helped that I have big, floppy boobs that could be slung around the side of the car seat. :LOL


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## ERSsmom

This is off topic, but how do you guys nurse with babe in the car seat and wearing a seat belt? I do it with my 8 month-old, but I am certainly not strapped in. In fact, I look like I'm in the Matrix and every bump we hit, my boob smashes DS in the face or stretches as he hold onto it for dear life. He usually decides to wait to nurse. Maybe, my boobs are too small, I am somewhere around a small C.


----------



## Shaunam

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ERSsmom*
This is off topic, but how do you guys nurse with babe in the car seat and wearing a seat belt? I do it with my 8 month-old, but I am certainly not strapped in. In fact, I look like I'm in the Matrix and every bump we hit, my boob smashes DS in the face or stretches as he hold onto it for dear life. He usually decides to wait to nurse. Maybe, my boobs are too small, I am somewhere around a small C.

I think being large helps. I am a G, so I've got plenty of length to reach DS's face. Even then, I just *barely* reach him.

Basically, I keep my seatbelt on, but put one foot under me to get some height and then lean way over (and a little bit forward) and hold my breast up to his mouth. It get VERY tiring!

My mom was driving and she thought it was hilarious! I was a little worried about the truckers getting an eyeful of my breasts, but then realized they probably couldn't even see my breasts, but they could definitely see my butt-crack. :LOL My pants were low-rise and I could not keep them from sliding down in that position!

As for the bumpy ride, we were on a pretty smooth highway, but my mom would tell me if there was a bumpy spot up ahead so I would have some warning.


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## ERSsmom

Thanks, it must be the breast size. Yet another reason to wish I was blessed with large boobs







. Oh well, we manage.


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## Mummoth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ERSsmom*
Thanks, it must be the breast size. Yet another reason to wish I was blessed with large boobs







. Oh well, we manage.

There are pros & cons to both... I couldn't nurse DD in her sling to save my life! That is a skill reserved for smaller breasted women.


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## Aura_Kitten

take heart, ERSsmom ~ i'm a B.


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## ERSsmom

It's good to know I'm not the only one out there


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## elmh23

Before we had dd, the guys at work were giving dh advice on babies. One guy told dh that starting at 6 weeks to put the baby in the closet to CIO. See the clothes in the closet takes some of the noise away so you don't have to listen to it. The next day dh gave the guy a lecture on object permanance (sp?)


----------



## Ellp

I've got a couple from this week's visit with MIL...

I left MIL with Dd (8 weeks) in the car while I ran out to get some milk. Dd was being fussy and I was considering taking her into the store with me, but it was pouring rain and I had rather not. I asked MIL if she would mind staying in the car with Dd while I went in.

MIL: "Oh don't worry, I don't mind a few minutes of crying..."
Me: "Oh its not you I'm worried about, its HER" (I pointed to Dd)

AND
We were talking about a certain famous wedding going on this weekend and how there seemed to be so many pitfalls to it.

MIL says to Dd who was in her bouncy chair and avidly cooing to her: "C. deserves all the delays and things going wrong because she is a sl*t, isn't she?"

WTH?!!
Me: "Hey! Hey! Lets not use that kind of language around the baby!"
What can MIL be thinking? I don't want Kiddo to learn that kind of language!


----------



## mrspeeper

Hemiola, I don't know how you walked out of that room without going nuts!







I have a hard time too when people use DS as their "innocent messenger" for parenting advice, drives me mad! I usually walk away fuming and not saying anything, getting even more mad at myself for not saying anything!







: I need some lighthearted comebacks to say so that I don't say something rude like they do. I'm sure her comment about the diapers was one of many, ugh! Did you ever say anything or let it drop?


----------



## mrspeeper

Oh, I just thought of one more good one...when I was about 6-7 months pregnant last summer, a co-worker said in front of everyone at lunch, "Janel, you look SOOO pregnant!" I laughed and said I felt THAT pregnant too...until she added, "Colleen (another coworker) was NEVER that big, even at the end of her third pregnancy!"







I just wanted to cry right there! I had to excuse myself to go to the restroom quickly. You know how emotional you get when you feel huge- I didn't feel much like a "Pregnant Goddess" after that! Since then I've made a point of telling every pregnant momma I meet how beautiful she looks. That makes me feel like there was something good out of that incident :LOL


----------



## RosieTook

Quote:

I couldn't nurse DD in her sling to save my life!
:LOL Me either!!! I am leaning towards an E since bfing...like right at the top end of DD...and while I have no problem nursing while we are all strapped in, I cannot nurse in the sling at all!!! DD would have to be down by my hips to be able to nurse without suffocating!!







:LOL

Well, it's a blessing and a curse no matter what size you are!!


----------



## indiana ima

my mother is coming to visit next month. i am trying to prepare myself in advance so i can easily speak the following phrases (even when angry or horrified):

let's have a nice visit.
that's not important right now.
and ...
blast. i forgot the ones i was thinking of earlier when my hands were full of wet laundry. i always think "i won't forget that, it's too good".







:


----------



## artgoddess

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mummoth*
There are pros & cons to both... I couldn't nurse DD in her sling to save my life! That is a skill reserved for smaller breasted women.

Is that my problem? Thank goodness I read this, because I have been feeling like some sort of uncoordinated freak!

I had one this morning at Urgent Care. We are there because DS took a tumble of the coffee table and landed on his head on the fireplace hearth. So my little boy is fine and toddling around the room visiting everyone, handing out his toys to people (a very gerous toddler I have) and someone spoke to him, he got a little nervous and walked over to me and reached up to get in my lap. Iws holding him close and giving him kisses all over his face, and the old lady sitting next to me said I was "spoiling him". I just laughed and didn't say anything, cause I wasn't in the mood but really what an old bag. My boy has a huge bump and bruise on his head, that was so bad it was acctually bleeding at one point, but it's spoiling him by kissing him?


----------



## boingo82

Quote:


Originally Posted by *artgoddess*
Is that my problem? Thank goodness I read this, because I have been feeling like some sort of uncoordinated freak!..

Me three. I thought there was something wrong with me, I couldn't figure out how to sling-nurse.


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## Charles Baudelaire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *artgoddess*
Iws holding him close and giving him kisses all over his face, and the old lady sitting next to me said I was "spoiling him".

Hmph!







: All children should be "spoiled" that way EVERY DAY. The world would be a better, richer place.


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## kiahnsmum

My MIL told me when dd was a few days old that i should wrap her up tight, put her in a bassinette, say her prayers, turn the light out and leave the room!







: You know how your feeling a few days after the birth well lets just say she better pray before she opens her mouth again!

Another friend who is a teacher told me that she can tell who all the children in her class are that have been demand-fed because they are the naughty ones!!


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## kater07

Deleted because of the major amounts of offense I caused. Sorry to offend by stating my experience.

Last night we had dinner with some friends. The dad asked us if we were going to book our "adults only" cruise with them for May. Uhhh... I have a TWO MONTH OLD (3 mths at the time of cruise) WTF would I leave my exclusively nursing baby ALONE to go on a cruise? He says that he's convinced that all parents need a good long break from their kids. AAAAHHHH!!! It's not even a consideration, we wouldn't have anyone to leave the kids with.


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## Charles Baudelaire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kater07*
On Topic: Last night we had dinner with some friends. The dad asked us if we were going to book our "adults only" cruise with them for May. Uhhh... I have a TWO MONTH OLD (3 mths at the time of cruise) WTF would I leave my exclusively nursing baby ALONE to go on a cruise? He says that he's convinced that all parents need a good long break from their kids. AAAAHHHH!!! It's not even a consideration, we wouldn't have anyone to leave the kids with.

I have a perfect way to give people a "good long break from their kids":

DON'T HAVE ANY!!!!!


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## guerrillamama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kater07*
kiahnsmum, for the record, I am a substitute teacher (when I wanna be) and I can tell you that I can tell almost instantly what kids have SAH/more attached parents and which ones go to daycare after school. It's soooo blatatntly obvoius by the differences in behavior (kids raised by their parents the majority of the time are WAY better behaved for me than the daycare/after school care kids).

Kate, please please please do not start another round of the mommy wars on this thread. Many of us are WOHMs. I'm sure you don't want us to get all defensive and think that you are saying that our kids are badly behaved, do you?


----------



## kate~mom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MamaInTheBoonies*
"Is she a good baby?"
Uhmmm...No, she's downright evil! She's horrendus! She even says the F-word!!! can you believe it?!?! And twice I have caught men in her bed!!!!!!! My baby is so naughty!!

quoting a REALLY old post here - but this is my current favorite. my best comeback so far - to the bazillion of times i have been asked this question in the last six days is "i guess he's a good baby - i've never met a bad one."


----------



## User101

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kate~emmasmom*
quoting a REALLY old post here - but this is my current favorite. my best comeback so far - to the bazillion of times i have been asked this question in the last six days is "i guess he's a good baby - i've never met a bad one."

That's much nicer than my response, which is:
well, she hasn't knocked over a liquor store yet.


----------



## guerrillamama

Annette, what will you say after they start knocking over liquor stores?

(it's only a matter of time you know...)


----------



## kate~mom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie*
That's much nicer than my response, which is:
well, she hasn't knocked over a liquor store yet.

ooooooooh - writing that one down for one of my more tired and cranky days. thanks!


----------



## User101

Quote:


Originally Posted by *guerrillamama*
Annette, what will you say after they start knocking over liquor stores?

(it's only a matter of time you know...)

:LOL When did you meet my kids?


----------



## guerrillamama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie*
:LOL When did you meet my kids?

well I know you, so...


----------



## User101

Quote:


Originally Posted by *guerrillamama*
well I know you, so...


----------



## Lousli

Okay, I have a new one. Recently my father was in the hospital, which isn't important in this story except to set the stage so you see why I didn't pitch a fit. We were visiting him in his room while my older daughter was at preschool. My mom leans over Hazel and says, "You're so pretty, such a pretty baby." I smiled and said, "Yeah she is. Her sister is too," and my mom says, "Well, I don't really think Melanie is pretty. She's cute and everything, and I love her like crazy, but she isn't really pretty."

I was so ticked. This is my daughter she's talking about! Plus, she's her grandmother. She's supposed to think she's pretty no matter what! or keep it to herself if she doesn't think so!

(For reference, or if you want to decide for yourself, here are some pics:
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/b/bigsister/
password:mycroft)


----------



## ERSsmom

Both of your daughters are beautiful!! That is just awful. I can't believe she would say that. I'm sorry


----------



## William's Mom

Lousli, they are BOTH very pretty!!!


----------



## kiahnsmum

Lousli, the day my daughter was born, my sister came to visit and said "well she doesnt win the prize for the cutest newborn",I bet if i had said the same about her baby it would havebeen different. By the way my dd is 100x cuter than her dd!!


----------



## Lousli

Thanks, ladies! I'm still stunned by the need of some people to be "honest." Isn't there something about, "If you don't have something nice to say..."
In fact, I think my mom taught me that one.


----------



## User101

I always tell DH "Just because an thought pops into your head doesn't mean it needs to fly out of your mouth."


----------



## mamalisa

I remember showing ds's newborn hospital pic to a guy friend at work. He told me ds looked like a grape. I was so offended until I turned off my mommy eyes and realized that yes, he did look like a grape. But of course the most beautiful grape ever.


----------



## dumpsterdivamama

This isn't as funny as some, but still made me









My friend has a 2 year old and a 7 month old. She was comparing her baby's size to her first (he's long and thin, her 2 year old is chubbier). She said, "Well, I'm sure it's because with the baby I'm nursing him more since I'm home with him more... I was working when ds #1 was little. So he got more formula"

Since when does nursing a lot make babies skinny?? Whenever I take my chubby baby in to the ped, she says, "Exclusively breastfed?? I can tell!!"


----------



## Queen of Cups

Since I started telling people that I'm pregnant again, I've learned how incredibly rude most people are. Almost everyone has said, "Is this an accident?" I would never, ever dream of asking a pregnant lady if it was an accident that she got pregnant! How tacky! After I tell them that we've been trying to get pregnant, then their next comment is, "Now you'll have to wean your son." Why does everyone think that? I just tell them that my midwife and his pediatrician both think its great that he's still nursing and I'm hoping he and the baby will tandem nurse. When I explained that to my grandmother (who's actually very supportive of breastfeeding, but terribly uninformed) she said, "Well, that's how we learn - by trying new things!" I think its sad that she thinks the idea of tandem nursing is a brand new thing...

But, I was able to use a line from this list! When a really sweet older guy at church said, "You do know what causes that, right?" after I told him I was pregnant, I replied, "Yep - and we're good at it, too!" He thought it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard! We both had a good laugh. Then he told me that if anyone else asks me if the pregnancy is an accident, just to tell them that God doesn't make accidents.


----------



## kater07

I get really tired of my FIL telling my kids that he has a shirt with their baby pictures on it, then showing them a shirt with Apes and Orangutans on it. I KNOW that many believe humans are decended from apes, but my kids DO NOT LOOK LIKE APES! They look like THEMSELVES, like humans. It makes me feel horrible.

Our LLL leader told our group today that when baby starts to wean, we are supposed to start giving cow's milk for calcium and fat even though that's NOT the best place for calcium or essential fatty acids. Why can't LLL (or maybe it's just out leader) get on board with the fact that you don't have to drink dairy to survive. We have a LOT of milk allergies in our group. Besides wasn't there just a thread here about goat milk being better for little people than cow milk? I don't even know a lot about the whole thing, but I do know that there are healthier ways to get nutrition.

FTR, I drink cow milk b/c I like the way it tastes. It's the same reason DH drinks Mellow Yellow.


----------



## mandalamama

not my funny comeback, but it's so good i have to share it: my newly-wed neighbor keeps getting asked when they're going to have kids ... her answer is always "9 months from tonight" that shuts 'em right up









re: cute/beautiful babies ... Willow gets the beautiful comment all the time, but then when i'm discussing her reflux and trying to get advice, some people say "it's such a shame she's in pain, she's so beautiful" and i'm like, "what, so it's ok for an ugly baby to be in pain?!" much less ANY baby. grrr.


----------



## boingo82

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kater07*
..
Our LLL leader told our group today that when baby starts to wean, we are supposed to start giving cow's milk for calcium and fat even though that's NOT the best place for calcium or essential fatty acids. ..

How DID the Asian people survive for thousands of years w/out milk? They should all be dead of osteoporosis by now.


----------



## Charles Baudelaire

I deliberately didn't look at her picture so I could say this unbiasedly -- HOW UNBELIEVABLY RUDE of your mom. I've seen ugly babies before, but no matter what, I cannot imagine saying so to the mother's face. What would be the big deal of finding an attractive feature (and everyone has one at least) and focusing on that? "Yes, she has such sparkling brown eyes!" "I've always loved that delicate little chin," or whatever! I can't believe people.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lousli*
Okay, I have a new one. Recently my father was in the hospital, which isn't important in this story except to set the stage so you see why I didn't pitch a fit. We were visiting him in his room while my older daughter was at preschool. My mom leans over Hazel and says, "You're so pretty, such a pretty baby." I smiled and said, "Yeah she is. Her sister is too," and my mom says, "Well, I don't really think Melanie is pretty. She's cute and everything, and I love her like crazy, but she isn't really pretty."

I was so ticked. This is my daughter she's talking about! Plus, she's her grandmother. She's supposed to think she's pretty no matter what! or keep it to herself if she doesn't think so!

(For reference, or if you want to decide for yourself, here are some pics:
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/b/bigsister/
password:mycroft)


----------



## NathansMommy

My mom was visiting once, and we were out somewhere and I was like "I smell poo but he just pooped" and I checked him and he was fine, then she said maybe I didn't wipe him good enough! Now, as if that wasn't bad enough, later that day, I changed his diaper and she actually had the nerve to lift up his bum and check to see if it was clean. I mean honestly, I'm not a total idiot







:


----------



## NathansMommy

Both of your daughters are BEAUTIFUL! I think your oldest is very pretty actually









Quote:

Originally Posted by Lousli
Okay, I have a new one. Recently my father was in the hospital, which isn't important in this story except to set the stage so you see why I didn't pitch a fit. We were visiting him in his room while my older daughter was at preschool. My mom leans over Hazel and says, "You're so pretty, such a pretty baby." I smiled and said, "Yeah she is. Her sister is too," and my mom says, "Well, I don't really think Melanie is pretty. She's cute and everything, and I love her like crazy, but she isn't really pretty."

I was so ticked. This is my daughter she's talking about! Plus, she's her grandmother. She's supposed to think she's pretty no matter what! or keep it to herself if she doesn't think so!

(For reference, or if you want to decide for yourself, here are some pics:
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/b/bigsister/
password:mycroft)


----------



## User101

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Queen of Cups*

But, I was able to use a line from this list! When a really sweet older guy at church said, "You do know what causes that, right?" after I told him I was pregnant, I replied, "Yep - and we're good at it, too!" He thought it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard! We both had a good laugh. Then he told me that if anyone else asks me if the pregnancy is an accident, just to tell them that God doesn't make accidents.

DH will be so proud that his line got some more mileage!


----------



## Mummoth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kater07*
I
Our LLL leader told our group today that when baby starts to wean, we are supposed to start giving cow's milk for calcium and fat even though that's NOT the best place for calcium or essential fatty acids. Why can't LLL (or maybe it's just out leader) get on board with the fact that you don't have to drink dairy to survive. We have a LOT of milk allergies in our group. Besides wasn't there just a thread here about goat milk being better for little people than cow milk? I don't even know a lot about the whole thing, but I do know that there are healthier ways to get nutrition.

It's that individual Leader saying that. Our group suggests mothers give their babies cows milk any time after the first year. I've heard many, many times that we are the only mammal that drinks another mammals' milk, etc. You could ask your Leader for a reference for that information (it's not in any LLL approved material I've come across)


----------



## allgirls

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lousli*
Okay, I have a new one. Recently my father was in the hospital, which isn't important in this story except to set the stage so you see why I didn't pitch a fit. We were visiting him in his room while my older daughter was at preschool. My mom leans over Hazel and says, "You're so pretty, such a pretty baby." I smiled and said, "Yeah she is. Her sister is too," and my mom says, "Well, I don't really think Melanie is pretty. She's cute and everything, and I love her like crazy, but she isn't really pretty."

I was so ticked. This is my daughter she's talking about! Plus, she's her grandmother. She's supposed to think she's pretty no matter what! or keep it to herself if she doesn't think so!

(For reference, or if you want to decide for yourself, here are some pics:
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/b/bigsister/
password:mycroft)


What an awful thing to say...and so wrong...I looked at the pictures and she's very very pretty...how could she think she's not...guess beauty is really in the eye of the beholder but I think she would be pretty to anyone...


----------



## Mummoth

And Queenie, I'm sorry people are being such jerks about Baby #2. People regarded my pregnancy with Roland like it was an accident & it bothered me. I couldn't understand why it even mattered... we had been engaged 6 months with the date for the wedding set when I got pregnant. I *thought* people knew we wanted kids ASAP, but no! He was this awful accident that we didn't plan & Kevins friends were actually trying to be sympathetic to him about it!!!


----------



## indiana ima

when DH and i decided to move up our wedding date a few months, apparently at least one of my aunts asked my mother if that was because i was pregnant. since it took 4 years after the wedding and infertility treatments and lots of stress and unhappiness to get to our first baby, my thought in retrospect is "i wish!!". but at the time i was pissed. :LOL

and Queen of Cups, i am just astonished that people are asking you if your pregnancy is an accident. i thought having two babies was considered the absolute top standard of normalcy these days. if you were pregnant with your 4th or something, i'd be less surprised at their rudeness (and it would be equally rude btw, just less surprising), but #2? that's just weird!









anyway, i hope you stop explaining yourself to those fools. miss manners says the proper response to rude pregnancy questions is "we're very happy". you can say it in a stiff and cold manner, if you like. and it's the proper response even if it is a bit of a non sequitor. i hope you'll feel empowered to say it and put them in their place!


----------



## Queen of Cups

Quote:


Originally Posted by *indiana ima*
and Queen of Cups, i am just astonished that people are asking you if your pregnancy is an accident. i thought having two babies was considered the absolute top standard of normalcy these days. if you were pregnant with your 4th or something, i'd be less surprised at their rudeness (and it would be equally rude btw, just less surprising), but #2? that's just weird!









Everyone assumes its an accident because my son is not quite 11 months old. Our kids will be 18 months apart - just like we were hoping! Everyone assumes that no one would plan to have children close together...


----------



## EnviroBecca

Well, I wish this was a funny one, but it's just dumb. I had to go to a 2-hour meeting an hour away from home, so baby stayed w/daddy and had 2 bottles, and I pumped during the break in the meeting. I was willing to do it in the restroom stall since this was a clean, spacious restroom and that saved me from having to find another place. Afterward, as I was rinsing the pump in the sink, a woman said, "That takes dedication!" I said, "Thanks! I don't find it all that difficult really, and of course it makes me more comfortable for the rest of the meeting." She proceeded to tell me all about how she breastfed her kids at home but gave them formula for daycare. I was interested to hear that this had worked for her and she still had adequate supply for evenings/weekends. So far, so good...but then she started telling me that I should do this too because it's so much "better" than pumping. I used the old "My doctor says..." defense, but that didn't work on her: "Is this your first?" she asked in an accusing tone. "Oh, well, with your next baby you won't listen to your doctor so much. You'll learn to trust yourself more." I tried to look like this







instead of this







: as I said, "Oh, I trust myself to make just the right food for my baby!" On the walk back to the meeting room she harangued me about how "breastfeeding steals all your energy!" I said that actually I feel really energetic, but she wasn't listening.


----------



## indiana ima

Quote:


Originally Posted by *EnviroBecca*
Well, I wish this was a funny one, but it's just dumb.

... I used the old "My doctor says..." defense, but that didn't work

... I said, "Oh, I trust myself to make just the right food for my baby!" On the walk back to the meeting room she harangued me about how "breastfeeding steals all your energy!" I said that actually I feel really energetic, but she wasn't listening.









wow! you're right, that really was a dumb exchange! how sad that you could say everything right and she **** couldn't hear a word you said!

and i just LOVE: "Oh, I trust myself to make just the right food for my baby!" perfect!!!


----------



## Ellp

I was at a fiber festival yesterday, and as usual the place is full of women.







I wore Dd in my Baby trekker and Dd just had a ball looking at stuff. Lots of women came up to us and marvelled at how alert Dd was.

Well, it was coming on 3 hours since Dd had ate or was changed (there wasn't a suitable changing area around), and I was heading toward the parking lot to change and feed Dd. A lady stops us to chat, and Dd was getting fussy at me stopping yet again. I made my excuses to the lady saying we had to go because Dd was wet and hungry.......the lady said "Oh, they'll get used to it."

Who on earth gets "used" to being wet and hungry? And why would I want to make my child suffer so this stranger can look and poke at her? Sheesh!


----------



## Queen of Cups

I just have to share - I just thought of the BEST response next time someone asks my if my pregnancy is an accident. I'll just look confused and say, "No! Why, were you an accident?"


----------



## Mummoth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Queen of Cups*
I just have to share - I just thought of the BEST response next time someone asks my if my pregnancy is an accident. I'll just look confused and say, "No! Why, were you an accident?"

:LOL good one!


----------



## Aura_Kitten

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ellp*
we had to go because Dd was wet and hungry.......the lady said "Oh, they'll get used to it."











let's hope she was being sarcastic.


----------



## KnitterMama

the other day my early teething ds was cryin at grandpa's house and grandpa, knowing that i'm raising ds vegetarian and seeing ds chewing on my fingers says:

gp: "give him a hot dog that'll be good to chew on"
me:








gp:"well, i've got peaches in the fridge, give him those"
me:







dad, he's 3 months old, he's only eating breastmilk for another 3 mo at least"
gp:"BAH! he wants real food! give him something to chew on"








:

i know one grandpa who won't be spending any time alone with ds for the next oh 15 years or so...


----------



## Ellp

My dad is the same way with food and Dd who will be 10 weeks on Monday.

We were out at a Japanese restaurant a few weeks ago and Dd was starting to fuss. I knew that my dad was going to suggest we give her something off our plates to keep her distracted. I didn't want to rehash our conversation about food for Dd so I quickly said that her Dr. had said no seafood for babies till they were at least 2 years old, just in case of allergies. So instead my dad said "Fine, but just give her a lick off your chopstick".

We were having California rolls with crab.


----------



## GranolaGeek

Love that this thread is still alive and going strong! Took two days of laughter and tears to get all the way through it!

So now, here are mine:

Beloved Step-Mom is number one on the list. She comes up with A LOT of them, but this is my favorite to date. I was approx. 3 months pregnant and had just found out she would be a girl.

Mom: "How is Jada doing?"
Me: Jada?
Mom: Well, we can't just keep calling her "The Baby!"
Me: I'll PROMISE I'll let you know when we come up with a name, ok?
Mom: Ok, but I'm still calling her Jada.

At 5 months:
Mom: It's twins. I dreamed it. A Boy and a Girl. Brianna and Braxton.
Me: Mom, doc says ONE and it's a GIRL.
Mom: What does he know?
Me: Besides, I thought you had named her Jada?!
Mom: Well that obviously won't work for twins!

Just last week at 7 months:
Mom: So how was the ultrasound?
Me: Well, she's almost a whole pound heavier than average for this date and is developmentally 2 weeks ahead as well.
Mom: I told you it was twins!

Does anyone ELSE think I may have boundary issues with this woman when our daughter actually ARRIVES?! LOL!

SIL is next favorite. The backstory is that I am vegetarian, tho not a strict one. It isn't ideological, it's preference and has been since birth. I just never LIKED meat or most of it's byproducts. The whole family knows this, they just don't understand it being the steak and potoato sort.

SIL: You're going to breastfeed? How?
Me: Um...with my boobs?
SIL: No, I mean, how are you going to make milk since you don't drink it??
Me: You ARE a nurse, right?

SIL: You're not going to force her to be a vegeatarian too, are you?
Me: Uh, no, she will be offered choices, it will be up to her. I was forced to eat meat my whole life instead of being offered healthy choices. I don't want that for her.
SIL: Well, that's good. My brother will have someone to eat steak with finally!
Me: Or I'll have someone to share my broccoli with!

And the best of all, last night!

DH: You aren't STILL reading that crazy thread are you?
Me: Nope. I sat here so long, I've been hyponitized to the screen!


----------



## Benji'sMom




----------



## artgoddess

Quote:

Last edited by Benji'sMom : Today at 11:16 AM. Reason: I think I said this already, thread's so long I can't tell!

:LOL I just hit quote, cause I was going to comment on this, at the same time you deleted it. I couldn't figure out where the words went.

I have a friend who used to say (when her baby was only 6 months old) she wished she had left him to play alone in his crib or playpen more, so he would have learned to be more independent! I don't hang with her much, but as far as I know she still feels this way and her little one is 16 months now.


----------



## KnitterMama

Quote:

SIL: You're going to breastfeed? How?
Me: Um...with my boobs?
SIL: No, I mean, how are you going to make milk since you don't drink it??
Me: You ARE a nurse, right?


----------



## Mama Rana

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GranolaGeek*
SIL: You're going to breastfeed? How?
Me: Um...with my boobs?
SIL: No, I mean, how are you going to make milk since you don't drink it??
Me: You ARE a nurse, right?


I wonder how cows make milk?








:







:







:


----------



## abac

I finally have something to contribute, (although people have said some pretty stupid things, most of them are already posted on here by someone else.)

Ds (12 mo.) has recently started sitting with his back against the wall, and rocking back, banging his head on the wall. I usually laugh at this, at which point he smiles and does it again.
My Mom: You shouldn't let him do that.
Me: Why not?
My Mom: It's not good.
Me: Why not?
My Mom: He could give himself brain damage.
Me: ????
(Call me crazy, but I think he'd probably knock himself out before he gave himself brain damage.)

Same day, Mom tells me that when ds has a runny nose, I should be giving him Tylenol to help him sleep. I reply that Tylenol won't clear up his nose. She says," But it will make him more comfortable."

Ummm...maybe if he had a fever or was in pain, but he has a RUNNY NOSE!!!

My Mom is a nurse, if you can believe it.


----------



## Charles Baudelaire

Good God, woman, you live in a Samuel Beckett play!!! Just write this down without revision and you'd have yourself some gooooood absurdist theater!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GranolaGeek*
Love that this thread is still alive and going strong! Took two days of laughter and tears to get all the way through it!

So now, here are mine:

Beloved Step-Mom is number one on the list. She comes up with A LOT of them, but this is my favorite to date. I was approx. 3 months pregnant and had just found out she would be a girl.

Mom: "How is Jada doing?"
Me: Jada?
Mom: Well, we can't just keep calling her "The Baby!"
Me: I'll PROMISE I'll let you know when we come up with a name, ok?
Mom: Ok, but I'm still calling her Jada.

At 5 months:
Mom: It's twins. I dreamed it. A Boy and a Girl. Brianna and Braxton.
Me: Mom, doc says ONE and it's a GIRL.
Mom: What does he know?
Me: Besides, I thought you had named her Jada?!
Mom: Well that obviously won't work for twins!

Just last week at 7 months:
Mom: So how was the ultrasound?
Me: Well, she's almost a whole pound heavier than average for this date and is developmentally 2 weeks ahead as well.
Mom: I told you it was twins!

Does anyone ELSE think I may have boundary issues with this woman when our daughter actually ARRIVES?! LOL!

SIL is next favorite. The backstory is that I am vegetarian, tho not a strict one. It isn't ideological, it's preference and has been since birth. I just never LIKED meat or most of it's byproducts. The whole family knows this, they just don't understand it being the steak and potoato sort.

SIL: You're going to breastfeed? How?
Me: Um...with my boobs?
SIL: No, I mean, how are you going to make milk since you don't drink it??
Me: You ARE a nurse, right?

SIL: You're not going to force her to be a vegeatarian too, are you?
Me: Uh, no, she will be offered choices, it will be up to her. I was forced to eat meat my whole life instead of being offered healthy choices. I don't want that for her.
SIL: Well, that's good. My brother will have someone to eat steak with finally!
Me: Or I'll have someone to share my broccoli with!

And the best of all, last night!

DH: You aren't STILL reading that crazy thread are you?
Me: Nope. I sat here so long, I've been hyponitized to the screen!


----------



## Momtwice

"She's just having a tantrum"

-a pediatrician in response to me asking why my tiny infant daughter might be crying so hard and freaking out. (Yes, I fired his posterior as soon as possible!)


----------



## ERSsmom

I am just going to jump in here and if this has already been said, sorry. I have read some of the last pages and am now only on page 13. I love this thread!!

My MIL comes to visit DS for the first time when he is 2 mo old (She lives across the country







). DS is crying cause he is hungry and neither she nor FIL give him to me. Throughout the whole visit when they do this, DH keeps saying "he wants the boob mom." Mil finally says out of frustration "is that the answer every time he cries?" Me and DH in unison "YES!!" MIL gives him up and the following conversation ensues..

MIL: So how long do you breastfeed for?
DH: They recommend 6 months.
ME: I thought I taught you better than that! The APA recommends at least a year and its better if you do it for 2 or more.
DH: Oh, well they recommend a year mom.
MIL: When they can ask for it, it is too old. I once saw a lady breastfeed her 15 month old!!
ME: I hope DS and I can go that long if not longer







.
MIL:







Well, you know I am a twin and that you two could have twins. You won't be able to breastfeed twins.
ME: But I have two boobs, why not?
MIL:








ME:









Not sure if her being a twin makes us more susceptible to having twins, but I can hope can't I? I would love to see her reaction to 2 babies always wantign the boob!!!


----------



## loveharps

one I get alot b/c my ds is into trucks, cars and can get a bit rowdy:

"wow, he's a real little boy isn't he!"

I feel like saying, "umm, no, actually he's pinnochio."


----------



## Mummoth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ERSsmom*
Not sure if her being a twin makes us more susceptible to having twins, but I can hope can't I? I would love to see her reaction to 2 babies always wantign the boob!!!









I think the way it works is that her daughters would be more likely to have twins.So, if you want to nurse two at once, you'll have to tandem nurse... MIL would love that :LOL


----------



## paquerette

I got asked yesterday, as I was latching my daughter on, what kind of formula I have her on. I just said "oh, she's never had formula" "Oh wow, that's nice. All the antioxidants and stuff." :LOL This was by my nephew's other grandma. And she mentioned that her other daughter had wanted to bf her new baby, but "didn't for some reason". I wish she'd called me.


----------



## ERSsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mummoth*
I think the way it works is that her daughters would be more likely to have twins.So, if you want to nurse two at once, you'll have to tandem nurse... MIL would love that :LOL

:2tandem







Oh well, even better!! She'd really freak!!


----------



## kater07

I was told today that I should check out this certain pediatric office because "they are so natural about everything like circumcision."

I just said, "We don't do circumcision." My thought was "WTF is natural about circumcision?"

Ok, that practice IS my 2nd choice. NOT because of their ability to cut off pieces of kids, but because they've seen both of my kids at least once each, and I DO like 3 of the 5 docs. We have chosen to try a different practice first though.


----------



## Mummoth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ERSsmom*
:2tandem







Oh well, even better!! She'd really freak!!


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kater07*
I was told today that I should check out this certain pediatric office because "they are so natural about everything like circumcision."

Yikes!

That reminded me of when my mom and I were talking about circ, she said had all three of her kids been boys she would have had us all circ'ed (she had two girls and a boy). I had never been so thankful to be a girl!


----------



## artgoddess

Quote:


Originally Posted by *loveharps*
one I get alot b/c my ds is into trucks, cars and can get a bit rowdy:

"wow, he's a real little boy isn't he!"

I feel like saying, "umm, no, actually he's pinnochio."









: Oh I'm going to use this one.


----------



## dinah

My MIL said that letting my son cry will help him develop strong lungs. I didn't have a quick reply and I'm not going to change her mind on childrearing at this stage anyways.


----------



## kater07

My sister says crap about raising kids too. She told me that it was good to let DS cry b/c that's how babies exercise.

She and her SO talk about how their friends have their kids "fully trained by now" when speaking about DS (2.5yrs) who is a GREAT kid. Even for a non-biased opinion, he's a great kid. They are considering having kids in the next few year, and I seriously hope they change their attitudes toward babies/childrearing. She thinks it's "only fair that he will do 1/2 the work feeding the baby at night" speaking of her SO. *Sigh*


----------



## akmbloom

Aarrghhh! i have to post an extremely long list of dumb things my mother in law has said and done since my daughter was born 11 days ago. She is driving me crazy. Fortunately my mom is the counter-weight who backs up all my parenting decisions, and during the time we were in the hospital, did her best to keep my MIL entertained and out of my hair.

So -

MIL was here for the birth. She lives cross-country but bought plane tickets for what turned out to be the day before I was induced. She knew ahead of time that I wanted my mom and husband in the delivery room but that she was to wait in the family lounge. During the labor she was allowed to come in occasionally, though, and she bugged the nurses with a million questions about what they were doing to me and why. When the nurse told her and my parents to leave because I needed to sleep for a while, she hung around trying to talk to me till the nurse basically had to kick her out.

Eventually I decided to get an epidural (I'd been hoping for a natural birth but not totally holding out for one because of other health issues), and she came in and told me "I'm so glad you decided to get the epidural, everyone I know got one, I knew you wouldn't be able to stand the pain without drugs." All along she'd been hoping I'd "cave" and get the epidural.

Then, during the last phase of pushing, she came to the door of my room, OPENED IT without my permission, and stood there listening to me moaning and working to get the baby out, and waiting "so she could hear her grandbaby cry." Also, letting everyone in the halls hear me too! The nurse (who was fabulous and I was so happy to have had) went out and told her to go away, that she was violating patient confidentiality rules. She threw a big fit, said something nasty to the nurse, and brought it up numerous times over the next couple of days so that everyone she talked to could see how horrible that terrible nurse was and what a pity party they should be throwing her.

After the baby was born she continued to ask ridiculous questions of the nurses - my favorite being, "do babies come out enclosed in a sac like puppies do?" which certainly she knows the answer to, i don't know why she was asking, it was like her brain stopped working.

Then our baby had to spend some time in the special care nursery, where they gave her a pacifier and sugar water during a painful procedure. They also supplemented her with formula because she was having medicine that could dehydrate her - none of which I was crazy about but that I knew were best for the baby in this situation. So when she came back to our room, she had the pacifier, and whenever my MIL held her, she kept the pacifier nearby so that she could shove it in her mouth every time the poor baby made a little peep! I don't ttotally disagree with pacifier use, but I think it should be a last resort, rather than something to keep her constantly quiet. Miri is really one of the least fussy babies ever, but mil seems to think we need to keep her quiet all the time.

She kept trying to keep holding onto Miri or take one more picture when it was time to feed her or have her diaper changed. i guess she thought she wasn't really hungry until she starts crying - i would have to be really firm, almost rude, about taking the baby to feed her when i saw her early hunger cues.. she also kept trying to delay us going to bed. she also wanted me to just put the baby in the vibrating chair when she cried, rather than hold her. The woman obviously has no idea how to identify a baby's needs and comfort them accordingly. no wonder my husband was "such a fussy baby"

Then when we got home she said all kinds of annoying things, including telling the baby how her "other grandma" wouldn't be able to do all kinds of things with her because she wasn't southern (I dunno why but she got on a big South vs. Midwest - where we live and where I'm from - kick while she was here, basically insinuating that people from the Midwest are cold and mean any chance she got).

Also, when I thought the baby was chilly and put a t-shirt on her and she fussed a little, MIL went on and on (talking as if she were the baby) saying, 'Oh you're only doing this to me because I'm a girl. what an indignity. you wouldn't do this to me if I were a big strong boy." WTF?????????

And now I am trying to write a response to her email (she's back down south now) that said we will for sure roll over on the baby and smother her if we keep her in bed with us for more than 10 minutes.

i love and (usually) respect this woman, so for her to act like this is kind of shocking and weird. i know that when her kids were born it was one of the hardest times in her life and she suffered from postpartum depression, so maybe she doesn't remember what it's like. anyway i am about at the end of my patience, i'm about to tell her off soon. i'm glad she was here for my husband's sake but she made it very stressful. oh well. she did buy us a truckload of groceries while she was here.

thanks for letting me rant!!


----------



## Kateana

I have one that is not the dumbest/worst thing I have heard, especially after seeing Akmbloom's post (how did you put up with her?!), but it's annoying nonetheless...

I gave MIL a letter for shower invites (she's throwing the party) that tells about our registry. Parts of the letter also say:

"As you know, we are not very mainstream. The items we will need for our family will differ from what some of you are accustomed to...The most needed items are indicated with a *. In addition, the most needed categories (Bedding and Diapering) are also indicated with a *. (Whatever needs are not listed in the registry will be or have been bought second-hand or borrowed.)...These are items that will really benefit our family. If you have any questions, call or email us."

(This is mostly from a form letter I got on another thread.)

After looking at the registry, MIL says to DH: Can you write up a list of things that you'll need if people don't want to shop off the registry?

Call me crazy (hormonal is more accurate, though), but I thought the letter said something about needs not listed? And WTH? Isn't that what a registry is anyways, a list of things you need?









On top of that, she told DH that she doesn't think anyone will buy us $15 diapers (one-size, and pretty economical, I thought), b/c when they were little, they used prefolds, and everyone knows how cheap they are. :LOL

She's a lovable woman otherwise, so it's easy to put up with her cookiness.


----------



## mama_nomad

:LOL oh, this thread is hilarious. here's what i got...

just a month along with my first baby (a walking target for lame advice and stories of course) and we were at the Thanksgiving/rehearsal dinner for my hubby and I's wedding the next day (we took our honeymoon a month before the wedding you see, hense the preggerness). I was sitting across from my stepMIL-to-be's daughter and she is telling my sister and I how much coca-cola she drank while pregnant, it was an absurd amount like a six-pack a DAY or something and that was her cutting back!

But what what really freaked us is when she said with huge, poor-me eyes "it was really hard...I even had to quit _smoking_."

We tried hard not to say DUH!! in her face so I think I mustered a super fake sympathy smile and nod as my sister kicked my leg. We'll at least she did quit, I just couldn't believe the way she said it.
Later she gave me the worse book ever, what she claimed to be the best book ever, The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy, where the author talks about natural childbirth and says something to the effect of "why even try natural? i don't know why some women think the need to prove they are pioneers or something....just get the drugs!!"

keep this thread alive!


----------



## Ellp

I got the girlfriend's book too, but I bought it for the laughs...









My silly quotes were from my mom who was watching me BF Dd in the early days.

"Don't you have to clean that?" - pointing at my boob just as Dd was latching on. What was scarier was that she was meaning sterilization!

My parents were concerned about Dd's weight gain as she gained around 5 lbs in the first 8 weeks. My mom said "Maybe she needs to go on a diet? You don't even know how many ounces she's eating!"


----------



## roseselene

ok, here's another one. My elderly neighbor (she's in her late 70's) was out talking to us last night and trying to play with the babies. So anyway, she was asking how the kids sleep, and then she mentioned that she tied her children into their cribs. I thought she was kidding at first, but her daughter agreed, and then she went on about how she had to tie them down because they would try to stand up in the crib. When we said that we cosleep, she asked if we were worried we would roll over onto one of them.







So, i guess I should fear that much more than the strangulation hazard of tieing your kids into bed?


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *roseselene*
So anyway, she was asking how the kids sleep, and then she mentioned that she tied her children into their cribs. I thought she was kidding at first, but her daughter agreed, and then she went on about how she had to tie them down because they would try to stand up in the crib.

That is really scary.


----------



## juju's mom

After ttc for more than 2 yrs we finally conceived twins thru ivf. Unfortunatly we lost 1 baby at week 10, and my dh's stupid uncle says "well now you only have to carry half the load" I did not know what to say and dh didn't hear him. I am still angry with the uncle ( who has yet to see my beautiful 5 month old daughter)














:






















Jenn
julia


----------



## CryPixie83

:LOL Our waitress at Bob Evans just told us "If you can't afford to pay for your meals, I'll gladly take her (dd) in payment" I just told her, nah, we've got the money, and I'd miss her too much!


----------



## QueenMommy

So far, by far, the dumbest things people have said to me regarding pregnancy have been recent. My youngest is 8 months and I am 24 weeks pregnant with #4.

"I can't believe you! You do know how that happened, right?"

Well, no, no I don't. Have no earthly idea!

Me-"We're really excited about this!"
Friend-"You are?"

Excuse me? Why wouldn't I be?

Grrrr...so irratating!


----------



## indiana ima

Quote:


Originally Posted by *QueenMommy*
So far, by far, the dumbest things people have said to me regarding pregnancy have been recent. My youngest is 8 months and I am 24 weeks pregnant with #4.
...
Me-"We're really excited about this!"
Friend-"You are?"

Excuse me? Why wouldn't I be?

well, speaking as someone with kids the same ages as yours (my son is 5.5, my older daughter is less than a month away from three, and my baby is 7.5 months), i'd have been devastated, horrified, miserable and furious if i'd gotten pregnant 24 weeks ago. or at all. and while i don't think i would have had an abortion, i probably would have considered it. (and that is why my husband got a vasectomy in december).

now obviously you are not me, you ARE happy, and you don't appreciate hearing rude things about your pregnancy. and you should not have to hear them!

but speaking from my own perspective? well, i know the answer to "Excuse me? Why wouldn't I be?" because i wouldn't be.


----------



## noelani1

One of the most ridiculous has got to be a comment by a nurse, at the hospital where my ex was doing his residency. Some of the other nurses and I were talking about potty training, and all agreeing that 2 1/2 to 3 was generally the best age. An older nurse then asked us if our kids still wet the bed, after they were finally potty trained. We said that some kids still needed a night diaper and some didn't. Then, she said "In my day, ALL of our children were potty trained by 8 or 9 months, and they NEVER wet the bed, either!". Yes... and donkeys fly!

Noelani


----------



## Lousli

Quote:


Originally Posted by *noelani1*
One of the most ridiculous has got to be a comment by a nurse, at the hospital where my ex was doing his residency. Some of the other nurses and I were talking about potty training, and all agreeing that 2 1/2 to 3 was generally the best age. An older nurse then asked us if our kids still wet the bed, after they were finally potty trained. We said that some kids still needed a night diaper and some didn't. Then, she said "In my day, ALL of our children were potty trained by 8 or 9 months, and they NEVER wet the bed, either!". Yes... and donkeys fly!

Noelani

My dad (he's 65) was showing his baby book, and around that age or possibly a little earlier, they gave him gylcerin suppositories several times a day and sat him on a potty! If THAT is what they mean by potty training, then no thank you! I was a little bummed that it took dd until 3.5, but you know what, all things in good time.


----------



## edamommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *noelani1*
One of the most ridiculous has got to be a comment by a nurse, at the hospital where my ex was doing his residency. Some of the other nurses and I were talking about potty training, and all agreeing that 2 1/2 to 3 was generally the best age. An older nurse then asked us if our kids still wet the bed, after they were finally potty trained. We said that some kids still needed a night diaper and some didn't. Then, she said "In my day, ALL of our children were potty trained by 8 or 9 months, and they NEVER wet the bed, either!". Yes... and donkeys fly!

Noelani

actually... I think that's just a BIT exagerated. I was pottytrained at 9 months (before I could walk!!) but most of my friends and my dh's family/friends that are our age were all potty trained around 1 year, usually as soon as they were walking. It's old school- I don'tknow how most parents accomplished it... but it's true.!


----------



## gizzyntaz

When DS was born he was abducted to the NICU for 2 days. I nursed on demand as best I could (went to the NICU every 3 hours round the clock because they wouldn't call me when he woke up). I refused bottles and pacifiers. On the second night, DS had the typical second night. Nurse, fall asleep, when I would put him down he would wake up and fuss. So I would pick him up and repeat. So, even though he was an extremely efficient nurser, the sessions would last about 2 hours, I would go back to my room and return an hour later.

Well, the night nurses in the NICU were clueless!!! That second night his nurse said, "Well, if you come back in an hour, he is only allowed to eat for 30 minutes MAX!" I almost said, "Over my dead body!" but figured I could say it later if needed... Then she said, *"You know, baby BOYS - they LIKE breastmilk..."* (said as if it was sexual or something







: ) What do you say to that? Ummm... Baby GIRLS do too!?!?

His nurse the previous night had yelled at me that I needed to be in bed (rather than feed my child) because when I nursed him my uterus contracted and I got blood everywhere. Of course, we all know that that is normal and good - I guess she didn't.







(Well, not the getting blood everywhere - that was kind of embarrassing...)

It's amazing that our nursing relationship was not harmed by his stay in there - I was just super-determined, I guess.

- Alison


----------



## Mummoth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *edamommy*
actually... I think that's just a BIT exagerated. I was pottytrained at 9 months (before I could walk!!) but most of my friends and my dh's family/friends that are our age were all potty trained around 1 year, usually as soon as they were walking. It's old school- I don'tknow how most parents accomplished it... but it's true.!

They acomplished it using potty chairs that had straps to hold the baby there until they used it, and punishing the baby if they went in their diaper.


----------



## nikirj

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mummoth*
They acomplished it using potty chairs that had straps to hold the baby there until they used it, and punishing the baby if they went in their diaper.

My ILs had DH and BIL trained at 9 months without doing anything damaging. It was more like EC, really. I'm assuming that a decent number (if not the majority) of households did this rather than use straps and physical punishment.


----------



## Queen of Cups

My mom and my MIL both used gentle ways to potty-learn - DH and I were both potty-learned by about 18 months. No straps or punishments at all. We were both cloth diapered and I think that has something to do with it, and they basically just got potties and sat them up next to the real potties. Neither of them understand why there's such a big fuss over potty-learning for most kids!

It was pretty funny, because I asked my mom when I potty-learned and her exact words were, "Well, I waited pretty late to start working with you. But you were in underwear before your sister was born." My sister is 20 months younger than me! I told her that many kids today aren't potty-trained till 3+ years old and she was really shocked!


----------



## Aura_Kitten

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nikirj*
My ILs had DH and BIL trained at 9 months without doing anything damaging. It was more like EC, really. I'm assuming that a decent number (if not the majority) of households did this rather than use straps and physical punishment.









a lot of people i know my age were "potty trained" by about 10 months ~ it really was EC but nobody called it that! :LOL


----------



## Hemiola

We have used EC with our son since 3 months. He's not yet a "graduate" but we have had a 99.9% poop catch rate and probably an 85% pee catch rate since about 8 months old. I was potty learned by 18 months. I'm sure there are statistics on this, but I'm gonna stick my neck out and say that Americans delay potty training longer than any other country. I think this mainly has to do with the disposable diaper industry. And never fear...they are coming out with even bigger diapers to accomodate older children and America's struggles with childhood obesity!

"A study by the American Academy of Pediatrics shows a decline in the age at which children are potty trained compared to the 1960s. The study shows that only 22 percent of children are potty trained by age 2 1/2 in 1997, compared to 90 percent in 1961."

So do the children, the parents, or the environment benefit from delayed potty training? What about the disposable diaper industry? Humm....

Laura


----------



## Mommy To Teresa

After chatting with someone about my decision to not vax.

"Not giving vaccinations is DAMNED STUPID.

Raise your own kid however you like. After all, Darwin tends to take care of the stupid eventually."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Numerous breastfeeding and NIP comments...

"I think it's wrong... at least go into the bathroom or something.. we're all (i hope) civilized human beings."

(Same person as above)
"yes, it would hurt... i don't want to walk into the mall and see some hags boobs hanging out.... there's no reason a woman should ever be that desperate to feed her baby either..." LOL at the last part.

"I don't think that it should be legal for a woman to breastfeed her baby in public. A woman sitting on a bench in a mall with her boobs whipped out is pretty distracting, and will make most people uncomfortable. Breast pumps and formula were invented for a reason. Any sane parent carries a diaper bag that contains something for the baby to eat. If you don't, well, you're crazy."

"I think that if you do take your baby out in public (which isn't a good idea because of the crying.. and crapping..), then the least someone could do would to take a blanket or something and cover up the whole act."

"I think it's whorish. Just like public breastfeeding. It's going to be funny when people find out they've been recorded breastfeeding on some perv's camera and it's all across the internet. Just like people who use public restrooms."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Because I told her I was going to breatfeed until my daughter is ready to wean, eeen if she is 4 or older.

"If you breastfeed that long you're child is retarded and so are you. I have a little sister. She's 15 months old and she stopped using the bottle around 13 months. She's on a sippy cup now. My stepmother is a pedatrician and she probably knows best when she says you should start weaning a baby when their teeth come in. Your daughter is probably going to be socially retarded from your continuous breastfeeding. My little sister could tell you her name, different animals, what your name is, what show she wants to watch, and what she wants to drink by the age of 14 months. Your daughter on the other hand will probably only be able to say "tittie mama." when she's thirsty. Congrats on birthing a social retard."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have got tons of bad comments, But I usually just give the idiots FACTS and shut them up or tell them that I will raise my own kid, not them.


----------



## ERSsmom

:


----------



## Childishgoth

OMG.....thats all i can say to that last post... OMG


----------



## MelissaEvans

Quote:

Raise your own kid however you like. After all, Darwin tends to take care of the stupid eventually
Apparently not very efficiently if they're still here!


----------



## William's Mom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *QueenMommy*
So far, by far, the dumbest things people have said to me regarding pregnancy have been recent. My youngest is 8 months and I am 24 weeks pregnant with #4.

"I can't believe you! You do know how that happened, right?"

Well, no, no I don't. Have no earthly idea!

Me-"We're really excited about this!"
Friend-"You are?"

Excuse me? Why wouldn't I be?

Grrrr...so irratating!
















Jenn, Congratulations on your pregnancy and upcoming new baby!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## William's Mom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mommy To Teresa*
Because I told her I was going to breatfeed until my daughter is ready to wean, eeen if she is 4 or older.

"If you breastfeed that long you're child is retarded and so are you. I have a little sister. She's 15 months old and she stopped using the bottle around 13 months. She's on a sippy cup now. My stepmother is a pedatrician and she probably knows best when she says you should start weaning a baby when their teeth come in. Your daughter is probably going to be socially retarded from your continuous breastfeeding. My little sister could tell you her name, different animals, what your name is, what show she wants to watch, and what she wants to drink by the age of 14 months. Your daughter on the other hand will probably only be able to say "tittie mama." when she's thirsty. Congrats on birthing a social retard."


----------



## kater07

Quote:

Quote:
Raise your own kid however you like. After all, Darwin tends to take care of the stupid eventually
Whaaat?

Quote:

Apparently not very efficiently if they're still here!
I was thinking the same exact thing!


----------



## janerose

One of my good friends who is in her 60's admitted to me the other day that when her DD was an older baby (sitting up, eating finger foods, drinking from a cup) she would put a bowl of Fruit Loops & a cup of milk in her crib with her right before she went to bed. That way if dd woke up during the night she could feed herself & let my friend sleep.







:

In all fairness she freely admits how stupid this was, but she was a single mom with a newborn and a 1 year old at the time and working like 3 jobs after her DH left her. The poor woman just wanted some sleep! :LOL

Holly


----------



## edamommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *janerose*
One of my good friends who is in her 60's admitted to me the other day that when her DD was an older baby (sitting up, eating finger foods, drinking from a cup) she would put a bowl of Fruit Loops & a cup of milk in her crib with her right before she went to bed. That way if dd woke up during the night she could feed herself & let my friend sleep.







:

In all fairness she freely admits how stupid this was, but she was a single mom with a newborn and a 1 year old at the time and working like 3 jobs after her DH left her. The poor woman just wanted some sleep! :LOL

Holly

well, a mama from a vegetarian board I frequent puts a bowl of loops and a cup of milk by her toddlers' door each night so when she wakes up in the AM she can eat in her room before waking them up!?!?


----------



## Corvus

Quote:


Originally Posted by *edamommy*









well, a mama from a vegetarian board I frequent puts a bowl of loops and a cup of milk by her toddlers' door each night so when she wakes up in the AM she can eat in her room before waking them up!?!?

Doesn't milk go bad if left out of the refrigerator for 2 hours? This kid is eating froot loops with warm sour milk every morning? And s/he doesn't throw it up?


----------



## edamommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corvus*
Doesn't milk go bad if left out of the refrigerator for 2 hours? This kid is eating froot loops with warm sour milk every morning? And s/he doesn't throw it up?









Okay, I went back and checked the thread. She was left the fruit loops w/ a cup of juice (doesn't juice go bad too?!?). So she could eat the loops like a finger food.


----------



## Charles Baudelaire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gizzyntaz*
Then she said, *"You know, baby BOYS - they LIKE breastmilk..."* (said as if it was sexual or something







: ) What do you say to that? Ummm... Baby GIRLS do too!?!?

Hmph! If mine is any indication, she's booby crazy!!! She's been weaned for almost 2 years now and still wishes Mom weren't a dry well. She signed a letter "booby freak" just last week.

In short, I think this comment says way more about this woman's personal proclivities than it does anything else.


----------



## Charles Baudelaire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mommy To Teresa*
After chatting with someone about my decision to not vax.

"Not giving vaccinations is DAMNED STUPID.

Raise your own kid however you like. After all, Darwin tends to take care of the stupid eventually."

Good. Then s/he should be first in line.

Hey, go to the frame above, click "search" and type in "Amish" and "Vaccinations" and read the thread. Interesting stuff.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Quote:

"I think it's wrong... at least go into the bathroom or something.. we're all (i hope) civilized human beings."
Might I point out that civilized people literally don't s*** where they eat?

Quote:

"I think that if you do take your baby out in public (which isn't a good idea because of the crying.. and crapping..), then the least someone could do would to take a blanket or something and cover up the whole act."
What is it that makes me think they think about sex in the same terms?

Quote:


"If you breastfeed that long you're child is retarded and so are you. I have a little sister. She's 15 months old and she stopped using the bottle around 13 months. She's on a sippy cup now. My stepmother is a pedatrician and she probably knows best when she says you should start weaning a baby when their teeth come in. Your daughter is probably going to be socially retarded from your continuous breastfeeding.
What a charming person!

Quote:

My little sister could tell you her name, different animals, what your name is, what show she wants to watch, and what she wants to drink by the age of 14 months. Your daughter on the other hand will probably only be able to say "tittie mama." when she's thirsty. Congrats on birthing a social retard."
Tell this to your friend: I know a child who breastfed until the age of 2.5 and would have done so longer. By 18 months, her parents documented her ability to speak over 800 words. By age 2 she began to read Bob books all by herself (in between breastfeedings, of course). By age 2.5, she was reading at the second grade level. At age 4, she can read at about the eighth grade level -- oh, and do double-digit addition. Hasn't your friend ever read the links between breastfeeding and higher I.Q.? I doubt the causal linkages, personally, but you don't have to tell him/her that.








~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


----------



## MelissaEvans

Quote:

Hasn't your friend ever read the links between breastfeeding and higher I.Q.?
Technically, I think it would be more appropriate to say that artificially fed babies have lower IQ's as breastfeeding is the biological norm (just as we say smokers have a higher incidence of lung cancer not usually that non-smokers have a lower incidence - not smoking is the biological norm). =)
http://www.wiessinger.baka.com/bfing...tle/scary.html


----------



## Corvus

Quote:


Originally Posted by *edamommy*







Okay, I went back and checked the thread. She was left the fruit loops w/ a cup of juice (doesn't juice go bad too?!?). So she could eat the loops like a finger food.

Well, some juices are not refrigerated when you buy them at the store; you simply have to refrigerate them once you open them. One organic brand like this is Ceres. It is sold on regular shelves, not in refrigerated cases.

But still... froot loops? Why not give her Cheerios instead (or an organic version of Cheerios)?


----------



## Kundalini-Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Charles Baudelaire*
By age 2 she began to read Bob books all by herself (in between breastfeedings, of course).


----------



## gridley13

so sorry if I am repeating this comeback.

I have never gotten to use this one, because I am happy to say I haven't ever received a rude comment about NIP. But in my mind, it goes something like this:

Me (nursing ds on a bench in say, the grocery store)
Rude Person: I can't believe you are doing that in plain view!
Me: Oh, I am sorry... does it offend you?
RP: Yes, it does! I don't want to see that when I am grocery shopping!
Me: ummm (looking around) Do you know where the bathrooms are?
RP: Yes, (pointing) right over there.
Me: Ok, why don't you go in there and sit in a stall. I'll come get you when he's done.

:LOL


----------



## gridley13

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hemiola*
And never fear...they are coming out with even bigger diapers to accomodate older children and America's struggles with childhood obesity!

:LOL Actually, a sad comment... but true and funny the way you said it...


----------



## Jennifer3141

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mommy To Teresa*
"If you breastfeed that long you're child is retarded and so are you. I have a little sister. She's 15 months old and she stopped using the bottle around 13 months. She's on a sippy cup now. My stepmother is a pedatrician and she probably knows best when she says you should start weaning a baby when their teeth come in. Your daughter is probably going to be socially retarded from your continuous breastfeeding. My little sister could tell you her name, different animals, what your name is, what show she wants to watch, and what she wants to drink by the age of 14 months. Your daughter on the other hand will probably only be able to say "tittie mama." when she's thirsty. Congrats on birthing a social retard."

Oh boy. Please tell me this isn't a FRIEND. :LOL

And if this person's mother really is a pediatrician, she sucks as one. MY DD's teeth started coming in a 5 months. Should I have started her on steak or something??

I'm not exactly sure anyone could be more "socially retarded" than this person. I'm actually surprised he/she could say "tittie mama" him/herself.









Jen


----------



## Mommy To Teresa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jennifer3141*
Oh boy. Please tell me this isn't a FRIEND. :LOL

And if this person's mother really is a pediatrician, she sucks as one. MY DD's teeth started coming in a 5 months. Should I have started her on steak or something??

I'm not exactly sure anyone could be more "socially retarded" than this person. I'm actually surprised he/she could say "tittie mama" him/herself.









Jen

Def. NOT a friend, lol.


----------



## kittyluver

lol


----------



## magemom

New one last weekend...
"Your kids are so well behaved. Do you have to spank them often?"

Implying that by spanking you get better behavior.

No, I just spell out exactly what I expect from them (3 and 5) and follow up when I say something.


----------



## nikirj

Thought you heard them all? Not this one!

"where's the HOLE!?" about...

....wait for it....

Breastfeeding!!!

OMG she thought the milk had to come through a HOLE in my boob. I was so stunned I couldn't come up with anything better than "there's no hole, it just comes out." And yeah, complete stranger. WTF!


----------



## MelissaEvans

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nikirj*
Thought you heard them all? Not this one!
"where's the HOLE!?" about...
....wait for it....
Breastfeeding!!!
OMG she thought the milk had to come through a HOLE in my boob. I was so stunned I couldn't come up with anything better than "there's no hole, it just comes out." And yeah, complete stranger. WTF!

*SHE*??? This was a *woman* who didn't know she had nipples and/or what they're for?


----------



## nikirj

Oh I'm assuming she knows about nipples - she just thought there should be a hole. Like a bottle. Holes. For milk to come through. :LOL


----------



## mamalisa

:














: The first time I pumped I was SHOCKED, SHOCKED I tell you, that the milk came out from more than one spot. Who knew?? I even called dh in to look and see. I knew nothing about bf in real life, books sure, but actual seeing it done...nothing.














:


----------



## Hemiola

I assumed that the milk would come from a hole in the middle of the nipple, too.







I hadn't really given much thought to it, really. I didn't know there would be multiple holes. When I was about 18 weeks pregnant I squeezed my nipple because I was curious as to where the milk would come from. Well milk sprayed across the room from the side of my nipple :LOL Needless to say, I was surprised! Then I realized that there were lots of holes that you couldn't see. DS is 14 mos. and I still can't see the holes. I guess everyone is like that? I hope y'all don't think I'm a total fool...I'm well educated and a rational person. I just never saw milk come out of a b00b before. But I would never ask someone where their hole was!! They might turn around and show your their butt









Laura


----------



## Aura_Kitten

technically there *are* holes, but it suprises me that a *woman* didn't know this...

no, i take that back. was that in the United States? if it was, then no, it doesn't suprise me...


----------



## MelissaEvans

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nikirj*
Oh I'm assuming she knows about nipples - she just thought there should be a hole. Like a bottle. Holes. For milk to come through. :LOL

That gives me more hope. =)
I didn't know milk could shoot out of more than one spot on the nipple either. I didn't know milk could *shoot* out! That was a fun surprise. =)


----------



## ERSsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MelissaEvans*
That gives me more hope. =)
I didn't know milk could shoot out of more than one spot on the nipple either. I didn't know milk could *shoot* out! That was a fun surprise. =)









Me either!! I asked my sister, "did yours squirt when you bf? Like across the room?!!" She said "yes" and looked at me like I was stupid. Who knew?


----------



## Mummoth

I'm convinced the milk ejection reflex is reallynot for the baby... it's a 5 foot squirting toddler deflection feature. Nature thinks of everything


----------



## Aura_Kitten

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mummoth*
I'm convinced the milk ejection reflex is reallynot for the baby... it's a 5 foot squirting toddler deflection feature. Nature thinks of everything

















:

once, i was nursing my (then-newborn) dd and she pulled off for a moment, and the milk was just pouring out still in a fountain -- right on to her face! and i felt bad for a moment until she opened her mouth, and got a little grin as she realized she could just sit there lapping up the milk with zero effort.







(bliss!)


----------



## mollyeilis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mummoth*
I'm convinced the milk ejection reflex is reallynot for the baby... it's a 5 foot squirting toddler deflection feature. Nature thinks of everything










My husband has a great memory from when he was about 5...his family was visiting extended family in Korea. One of his aunts was breastfeeding while standing (I can do that trick too LOL) in a group of other aunts, and Robert was interested. Since his mom weaned her kids young, he had never consciously seen a baby breastfed, so he moved closer to get a peek.

His aunt whipped out her boob (I'm sure it wasn't really whipping it, but that's his memory) and squirted him from several feet away! It did the trick, he scooted!

I love that he has that memory.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *klothos*
i felt bad for a moment until she opened her mouth, and got a little grin as she realized she could just sit there lapping up the milk with zero effort.

Oh gosh, what a great moment!

I was once nursing DS in bed, it was a bright morning, sun streaming through the windows. He pulled off, and I saw what appeared to be a hair coming out of his mouth. I thought "oh no wonder he came off, with that hair there!" I tried to grab it. Couldn't grab it. After far, far too long, I realized it was a stream of milk, not a hair, and by the time I figured it out and got a finger over my nipple, the area of the mattress and my DS's face were drenched!









Being a human whose mother nursed her until 4 years of age, I know that milk comes out of nipples, therefore there must be holes of some sort. And I knew, intellectually, that there was more than one opening.

But I was still shocked when I first pumped, watching the milk just *spray* out like that! Shocked and amazed at the intricacies of the body...


----------



## heathenmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mollyeilis*
I was once nursing DS in bed, it was a bright morning, sun streaming through the windows. He pulled off, and I saw what appeared to be a hair coming out of his mouth. I thought "oh no wonder he came off, with that hair there!" I tried to grab it. Couldn't grab it. After far, far too long, I realized it was a stream of milk, not a hair, and by the time I figured it out and got a finger over my nipple, the area of the mattress and my DS's face were drenched!









:LOL I had almost the identical experience, only we were on the sofa!!


----------



## gridley13

I knew the milk came out in several to many small holes in the nipple, but it wasn't until my second baby I realized it can come out of holes in the whole areola... not just the nipple.

And to appease my toddler on my lap, we must insert lots of smilies now (it's a tradeoff... I get to post, she gets to pick smilies and look at the tiny pic of a Cedarworks swingset to the right. We just recently got one.)






















:














:







:







:




























:







:


----------



## wtchyhlr

I *loved* this thread while I was pregnant, and am thrilled to say I now have an addition.

middle aged, self declared prude, friend of mine (female) came over ot meet the baby yesterday. I nursed a few times during the conversation... here's some tidbits

ds - WAAAAH
me - (sticking boob in mouth), there you are, booby in mouth makes you happy
her - most people would use a pacifier
me - he likes those - but only to play the how far can we spit it game
her - you haven't put honey on it yet
me - you can't give a baby under age 1 honey
her - well i was given honey, and mom gave it to all my siblings, and we're all fine.

and then she related a story about her last flight - evidently there was a nursing mom in first class with a squalling child as everyone else was boarding. So my friend decided to help her cover herself with the blanket so everyone else wouldn't have to worry about where to put their eyes.

and she told me that her mother, who bf all the kids even tho in the South Breasts were for sex only, would make sure to go to the bathroom to do it. I'm like - uh, no, i wouldn't eat on the toilet, and i won't feed my child there.

and when i told her i'd be pumping when i go back to work next week, and that the building has a mothers room to do it in, but I wasn't sure of its amenities, she looked at me funny and said to just be happy i wasn't doing it in a locked john. I was like, hello, I'd make a big huge fuss if my huge company didn't provide a spot.


----------



## Corvus

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nikirj*
OMG she thought the milk had to come through a HOLE in my boob.

Before I was pregnant, I didn't know anything about breastfeeding either. So when I learned I was pregnant, I read books and learned about the mechanics of nursing. I had previously thought that the milk exited through one hole in the center of the nipple. I think that's a fairly common misconception, and I don't poke fun at people for it. After all, most schools don't teach anything about breastfeeding.

So I don't understand what the big deal is here. Of course there are tiny holes on the areola-how else would the milk be released? But the holes are not generally referred to as "holes"; they are referred to as "ducts."

ETA: The only thing I see as a big deal in your story is that the comment came from a complete stranger.


----------



## LianneM

nak

Background: Two friends of mine have 13-month-old sons, and both are now pregnant again.

We went to lunch Sunday w/ one friend and her dad and stepmom. Stepmom sat across from me, and DS just latched on when she said, "You feel like a Jersey cow the first year."

Um, actually, I don't. What do cows have to do w/ feeding my baby?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After lunch, she says to me, "I can't imagine *you'd* want to get pregnant again as quickly as *they* did, right?"

(I took clomid to get pregnant w/ DS)
I said, "Well, after all we went through for him, I'd love a surprise pregnancy, no matter how soon."

She didn't know about the fertility problems, so I explained.

Then she says, "OH so you don't even have to worry about birth control!"

Um, no, I don't.


----------



## indiana ima

i took clomid to fall pregnant with my oldest but never needed it again. don't despair! sometimes ones body figures out what to do. my midwife says she sees it often.







:


----------



## ERSsmom

.

Then she says, "OH so you don't even have to worry about birth control!"

Um, no, I don't.







[/QUOTE]

How insensitive!







to you mama


----------



## juju's mom

Thank you thank you thank you! I am glad there are weird people everywhere! I thought they were just in my area!
I always get the "is she a good baby?" ummm, of course she is, she is only a baby. She doesn't even know the meaning of bad! Gets me so mad!







:

Jenn
julia


----------



## guerrillamama

I have frequently felt like a jersey cow.


----------



## the_lissa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *guerrillamama*
I have frequently felt like a jersey cow.









Well I don't know about a jersey cow, but definitely some breed of cow


----------



## wtchyhlr

I only feel like a cow when i'm attached to the Medela PIS pump. I just look at DH and say MOO. but just BFing DS, nope, don't feel like a cow.


----------



## guerrillamama

actually i have no idea what a jersey cow is. i refer to a generic, domesticated, milk cow.

definitely when hooked up to a pump i feel INTENSELY like a cow. but also on certain occasions when BFing ds, on those days when i feel like i have not done anything besides nurse, and i might as well have spent the day tied up in a barn... some mamas here love everything about nursing - that's great! but some of us just don't love it all the time.


----------



## the_lissa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *guerrillamama*
actually i have no idea what a jersey cow is. i refer to a generic, domesticated, milk cow.

definitely when hooked up to a pump i feel INTENSELY like a cow. but also on certain occasions when BFing ds, on those days when i feel like i have not done anything besides nurse, and i might as well have spent the day tied up in a barn... some mamas here love everything about nursing - that's great! but some of us just don't love it all the time.









True true.


----------



## magemom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *guerrillamama*
I have frequently felt like a jersey cow.










I feel like a mammal. And depending on how forceful my let down is, a platypus. Cows have 4 teets. I have 2. Can't be a cow. How about a sow? They have a dozen! Gorilla/orangutan would work- the babies hang on to mama. That is me. Orangutan mom. 2 teets, kids hanging on no matter what I am doing.


----------



## guerrillamama

maybe a black bear ?


----------



## Pam_and_Abigail

Ok, this is slightly OT but i'm thinking about the sow with a dozen nipples, and I'm thinking "wow I wouldn't want to be a pig and have a letdown!" but then I remembered a joke about pigs having 30 minute orgasms and I wonder if there's a connection....

And I do feel like a cow, esp when tandeming. I think it's because in our culture they are the animals most associated with milk, we don't (I don't) always think of other mammals the same as a cow... cows kinda nurse all of us (except for those who don't eat dairy..)

Ok sorry so OT.

Here I'll add a stupid thing from a family gathering Saturday. They were serving chocolate, and I heard dh's cousin say "no thanks I tried giving her on chocolate, and she didn't take it well". I thought she meant her niece who's just over 2 years. I was astonished to then hear her say "but (niece) can have as much as she wants.
I then realized she had been talking about her 8 1/2 month old....

Of course cholate made her fussy!


----------



## LianneM

Thanks for the hugs! *indiana ima* I hope that is me! It happened for my mom









Y'all are right - some women do feel like cows I guess. I just feel like a mama :LOL and I'm darn proud of my baby's rolls :LOL


----------



## nikirj

Wow, I had no idea that holes in the nipples were such a common thought!

I think for me what did it was that this was a complete stranger. DD had popped off and she (stranger) had gotten an eyeful, at which point her eyes widen and she starts wondering why she can't see the hole. And crossing her own arms over her own chest (whether in reflexive modesty or to protect her poor nipples from the very concept, I don't know). I think she imagined there would be a little hole right in the middle. It seemed funny to me then


----------



## shishkeberry

I was shocked when I found out milk shoots out of multiple places, too. But now, shooting milk at things is an endless supply of fun for me. Cat on the table? Squirt! Take that, Lina! DP trying to grab my boobies? Squirt! Haha!

:LOL He gets mad when I squirt him because when the milk dries it gets sticky, but I know perfectly well that if he could do it back to me, he would in a heartbeat. :LOL


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *shishkeberry*
:LOL He gets mad when I squirt him because when the milk dries it gets sticky, but I know perfectly well that if he could do it back to me, he would in a heartbeat. :LOL

:LOL My dp gets really mad/whiney when I squrt him (which makes it more fun) because "that stuff is really hard to get off my glasses" as he says









DD thinks it's hilarious when I squirt her... she tries to catch it with her mouth and then tries to make my niplles squirt with her fingers... too cute!


----------



## heathenmom

I have a new stupid/hurtful comment, from my MOM of all people.









I struggled with bf'ing (supply) from the very beginning ... it was really, really hard but I did my best and nursed as long as I could (dd went on a weeks-long nursing strike, and despite my best efforts, milk dried up .... it's a really painful topic for me ...







), which ended up being 7 months & 2 days (March 23rd ... will I always remember the last day she nursed?).

Anyway, I called my mom the other day to catch up, and when the conversation turned to dd, the first words out of her mouth were, "So, have you finally weaned her?" Like she's 18 y/o and I've been following her to class. I mean, she's only 8 months old!!







: It just really hurt my feelings that she would be so callous about a subject that she LITERALLY watched me struggle with for so long.


----------



## broodymama

heathenmom -







I'm so sorry your mom said something so hurtful.


----------



## Charles Baudelaire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamalisa*







:














: The first time I pumped I was SHOCKED, SHOCKED I tell you, that the milk came out from more than one spot. Who knew?? I even called dh in to look and see. I knew nothing about bf in real life, books sure, but actual seeing it done...nothing.














:










It reminded me of a shower head. The kind you put in a bra.


----------



## Kateana

DH cannot WAIT for me to squirt him w/breastmilk. He thinks it's so hot.







:LOL

BTW I did LOL reading the comment about BM being hard to get off glasses! :LOL


----------



## AngelBee

I was told by a family member that I should stop breastfeeding my daughter. She was astounded that I didn't know I was poisoning my daughter. After all....that's why they developed formula!!!










Can you believe that!!!


----------



## Aura_Kitten

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LianneM*
nak

Background: Two friends of mine have 13-month-old sons, and both are now pregnant again.

We went to lunch Sunday w/ one friend and her dad and stepmom. Stepmom sat across from me, and DS just latched on when she said, "You feel like a Jersey cow the first year."

Um, actually, I don't. What do cows have to do w/ feeding my baby?

i feel like a cow quite frequently ~ particularly when i'm hooked up to my electric pump, with both breasts being machine suckled.







: let's ship it off in a tanker truck and pasteurize it for safety! mmOOO.

although i must admit, when i'm laying down to nurse ~ which i do topless, every night, and sometimes in the afternoons as well ~ i feel rather like a mama cat suckling her kitten. (... which is also why i nicknamed my Lyssi "my kitten"




























)

and let's not forget our friend Hathor ~ http://www.thecowgoddess.com/









Kateana ~ my partner was the same way w/ our first. :LOL









Angelbee, it makes me so sad that some women believe that.









and about never being taught about breastfeeding in school ~ that is so true.







maybe that's why so many women don't breastfeed.


----------



## mommykof5

On Saturday we went to the Goodwill. As we were paying the cashier asked dh and I the usual question. Are they All yours? We were like yea. She then asked if any were step children. My oldest said "I am. That's what my biological Dad says." (we don't there is no yours mine and ours in this house) She actualy said, looking at dh, well then you can't count him. ! WTF? Bless my dh heart he said ma'am I've counted him since we met and I don't intend to stop now. God I love that man.


----------



## Annie

I had *no* idea that there are holes in the areaola, I thought that the holes were only in the nipple or close by. So now I'm wondering how does having huge areolas affect nursing? Will the milk just squirt out past my baby's mouth or something? I cant imagine all of my areola going into her/his mouth. They're each about the size of a pop can bottom, i think, havng seen a can in a long time.

Thanks.


----------



## the_lissa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dogmomAnnie*
I had *no* idea that there are holes in the areaola, I thought that the holes were only in the nipple or close by. So now I'm wondering how does having huge areolas affect nursing? Will the milk just squirt out past my baby's mouth or something? I cant imagine all of my areola going into her/his mouth. They're each about the size of a pop can bottom, i think, havng seen a can in a long time.

Thanks.

I didn't know that either. The breastfeeding class I took said the holes are in the nipples and that the areola is there as like a target for a newborn to go after- the contrast attracts them visually. After using a pump and manually expressing, I know no milk has ever come out of my areolas.


----------



## Annie

That's what I was thinking, that it's the nipples. Good to hear, I mean tiny baby, huge areolas, yk. I have my heart set on nursing for at least a few years each so that's a big load off of my mind
Thanks.


----------



## Lousli

Quote:


Originally Posted by *the_lissa*
I didn't know that either. The breastfeeding class I took said the holes are in the nipples and that the areola is there as like a target for a newborn to go after- the contrast attracts them visually. After using a pump and manually expressing, I know no milk has ever come out of my areolas.

Yes, I'll have to agree with this. I have rather large areolas, and if milk came out of them, I think I'd be sopping wet all the time. As far as I can tell, from both breastfeeding and pumping, milk only comes out of my nipples.


----------



## the_lissa

Has anyone counted their holes? I lost count at 15


----------



## ladyelmo1

I have milk coming out of my areolas with this baby, didn't with my first. It doesn't shoot out like it does out of your nipples, it drips out of the glands in the areola (okay, I forgot the name of them, the bumps in your areola... someone help me!) Anyway, it oozes out slowly, so don't worry about drowning your poor baby if it happens. You should have seen my face the first time I noticed it! :LOL Shocked doesn't really cover it. I thought my boob was broken!







:

To link the dumb comment topic with breastfeeding, here's a little gem that my sister told me regarding her sister-in-law, who just had a baby in December. I asked if she was going to breastfeed and this was my sister's response: *"She says that she is not going to breastfeed, she's just going to pump."*

Okay, I burst out in hysterical laughter, and then tried not to cry. That poor babe. That's just ignorance, really. We SHOULD learn about breastfeeding in school. Maybe not the how-to, but at least the why-to.
-Melissa


----------



## User101

GM, I believe it's a Geurnsey cow, but pronounced Jersey.

The first time I felt my milk let down I called my LLL leader because I thought I was having some sort of bizarre breast cramp.







:

I have a REALLY powerful let down. Once I stuck a baby bottle under to catch the flow and caught 2 ounces before it finally stopped.


----------



## kiahnsmum

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommykof5*
She actualy said, looking at dh, well then you can't count him. ! WTF? Bless my dh heart he said ma'am I've counted him since we met and I don't intend to stop now. God I love that man.









:


----------



## Jadzia

This thread is so great. I just thought of another thing to add.

When I was pregnant, I was talking to my best friend Jennifer, who I have known since 9th grade. Jennifer was telling her mom about my pregnancy.

Jennifer's mom said "Tell her whatever she does, DO NOT learn about the sex of the baby in advance."

I asked her why not, and her mom said "Because after you go through all that labor and delivery, the only thing that will make it all worth it, will be when the doctor says 'It's a boy' or 'It's a girl."

I said "I think looking at my baby for the first time should make it all worth it to me." Of course this is the woman who laughed when Jennifer told her I planned to do natural childbirth. She told Jennifer that there was no way I'd make it. [And although I ended up needing a C-section after prolonged pushing, I am proud that I *was* able to get up 10 centimeters naturally even though I was in backlabor the whole time.]

Another funny thing this woman said. Jennifer recently had a party at her house, so I saw her mom there. It was her first time seeing my baby, and she was gushing over him. She kept saying how she wanted to babysit him. I told her that DH and I were in no way ready to leave him with a sitter and we never know when we would be. She nodded and said "I understand. You know, Brian [her DS] has NEVER been left with a baby-sitter."" Now, Brian was born when my friend Jennifer was 15. I remember all through hish school Jennifer complained that she could not go out because she was expected to baby-sit him all the time. I used to feel so bad for Jennifer, especially since she grew up with just her mom, who had been a single mother, and then suddenly her mom re-marries when Jennifer enters high school and has a baby. So Jennifer went from being one of the Gilmore Girls to being sort of the odd person out. But it was really unfair how they always expected her to baby-sit, especially when she was in her teen years and wanting to go out. So I was pretty confused when Jennifer's mom bragged baout never having a baby-sitter for Brian so I called her on it. "Didn't Jennifer often baby-sit Brian?" I asked. She dismissively said "Oh, that doesn't count. She's family."

Oh yeah, and while she was going on saying she wanted to baby-sit my son, she was also talking about wanting to feed my baby FROSTING. I was like "I don't think so..." And she said "Oh, I always fed my babies frosting." I love my friend Jennifer, she piped up to her Mom "Gee, maybe that's why I have such bad eating habits now."







:

Another thing she said to me at the party (when Jennifer wasn't around). She looked at my son and said "Aren't little boys special?" I wondered how her daughter would feel about that.


----------



## gridley13

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie*
I have a REALLY powerful let down. Once I stuck a baby bottle under to catch the flow and caught 2 ounces before it finally stopped.











I don't think I had milk from my aereola either with my first, or else I never noticed it. And it never squirts out, just if I squeeze it.

Here's another comment I got once:
I told my mom's friend that I dressed Owen in whatever was comfy, I even put him in this one pink outfit that I loved so much for her... who cared, we were just hanging out at home and besides, he was a newborn. She replied with horror in her voice: "Oh you can't!! You'll damage his psyche!" :LOL


----------



## boingo82

LOL - yes if anyone comments on the purple Blake wears, if they ask whether we're trying to make him gay or something, I'll just say, "We're doing our best!"


----------



## Kundalini-Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie*
The first time I felt my milk let down I called my LLL leader because I thought I was having some sort of bizarre breast cramp.







:


----------



## Aura_Kitten

:LOL i remember when i first started feeling the let-down too, and i asked my mom about it (who breastfed all of us kids). she didn't make me feel like an idiot.







she said she always loved feeling that, and that it was such an AWESOME thing, and she missed it.


----------



## mamalisa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *klothos*
:LOL i remember when i first started feeling the let-down too, and i asked my mom about it (who breastfed all of us kids). she didn't make me feel like an idiot.







she said she always loved feeling that, and that it was such an AWESOME thing, and she missed it.










I had a friend's mom tell me that when she would hear a baby cry she would still get the let down feeling. She hadn't nursed is at least 25 years when she told me that. Ds weaned over a year ago and I still get a tingle sometimes, it's cool.


----------



## Aura_Kitten

before my dd was born, when i would hear babies crying my breasts would hurt ~ now i actually do let down when i hear babies crying!









i







my breasts.


----------



## jenP

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dogmomAnnie*
I had *no* idea that there are holes in the areaola, I thought that the holes were only in the nipple or close by. So now I'm wondering how does having huge areolas affect nursing? Will the milk just squirt out past my baby's mouth or something? I cant imagine all of my areola going into her/his mouth. They're each about the size of a pop can bottom, i think, havng seen a can in a long time.

Thanks.

Shouldn't be a problem. even if you do have milk leak out from ducts in the areola, I would think the great bulk of milk would come out the holes in the nipple. I was a bit worried, too, in BF classes when they said to get the whole areola in the baby's mouth, mine are huge too! But, the reason they tell you that is that the milk ducts are in that area and the ducts need to be compressed by the baby's mouth to push the milk out. In other words, they can't just suck on the nipple as if it's a straw like I had always pictured it was done. That's an improper latch and will lead to a hungry frustrated baby and very sore nipples. But with huge areolas you can disregard the idea of getting it all in the babe's mouth because it ain't gonna happen! As long as they have a good mouthful and are compressing those ducts.

Jen


----------



## Annie

I was thinking that those bumps on the areola secreted moisturizer of some kind? Sometimes mine secrete this pimply white pussy stuff, and I've never been pregnant or nursed. I hopethat's not TMI. But I havnt noticed this in a long whiel, since long before my cycles got regular, so hopefully it's not a big deal.


----------



## Annie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gridley13*
Here's another comment I got once:
I told my mom's friend that I dressed Owen in whatever was comfy, I even put him in this one pink outfit that I loved so much for her... who cared, we were just hanging out at home and besides, he was a newborn. She replied with horror in her voice: "Oh you can't!! You'll damage his psyche!" :LOL

My MIL is alot like this, only she thinks if a girl is wearing anything that's not overtly girly, like really girly, or a boy isnt wearing something really boyish, that it'll make them gay.She thinks it's something to do with the way others who dont know the gender would react ro something. WTH? Please note that I'm not saying there's anything bad or wrong about being bay, bi, or lesbian. I have several friends I







dearly that are lesbian and gay.
MIL OTOH is a total homophobe.What i'd like to know is what would she do if oen of her grandkids turned out to be gay/ bi? yk


----------



## Shenjall

I swear I just read something (cant remember where) about the glands on the areola secreting *something* that smells just like amniotic fluid. So after baby is born, he/she is following the scent he/she has known for 40ish weeks!

I think that sounds pretty cool! (if its true - if not, our breasts are still pretty cool







)


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dogmomAnnie*
MIL OTOH is a total homophobe.What i'd like to know is what would she do if oen of her grandkids turned out to be gay/ bi? yk

This whole thing is really funny to me, because dp and I are always saying "and one day, dd is going to bring her girlfriend home and..." we alternate girlfriend and boyfriend. I guess we expect our kids (including any sons we have later on) to be bi, probably because most of my family is bi and my dp also has his "bi moments" :LOL


----------



## Momtwice

I felt that letdown feeling yesterday in the grocery store baby aisle, while walking by the formula...LOL!!! And my youngest weaned a few years ago...


----------



## Belleweather

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CryPixie83*
This whole thing is really funny to me, because dp and I are always saying "and one day, dd is going to bring her girlfriend home and..." we alternate girlfriend and boyfriend. I guess we expect our kids (including any sons we have later on) to be bi, probably because most of my family is bi and my dp also has his "bi moments" :LOL


The in-laws have been getting upset at my stash of baby clothes, because although they're as gender neutral as I can find at the thrift store, there are some more girly things and some more boy-y things. MIL says "Watch out! Wearing that might make the baby *queer*!".







My standard retort is "No, honey... her *genetics* will make her queer, clothes just make her fashionable."

DH and I are both bisexual, so we figure if it's standard mendelian genetics, we've got a high chance of having at least one kid like us.


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Belleweather*
MIL says "Watch out! Wearing that might make the baby *queer*!".







My standard retort is "No, honey... her *genetics* will make her queer, clothes just make her fashionable."









:

I love that line!


----------



## the_lissa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dogmomAnnie*
I was thinking that those bumps on the areola secreted moisturizer of some kind? Sometimes mine secrete this pimply white pussy stuff, and I've never been pregnant or nursed. I hopethat's not TMI. But I havnt noticed this in a long whiel, since long before my cycles got regular, so hopefully it's not a big deal.


That's what I've read too- sebacious glands that secrete a special protectant. mositurizing oil.


----------



## KnitterMama

From my Anatomy & Physiology text (Marieb, 2002):

"Developmentally, mammary glands are modifed sweat glands that are really part of the skin, or integumentary system. Each mammary gland is contained within a rounded skin-covered breast anterior to the pectoral muscles of the thorax. Slightly below the center of each breast is a ring of pigmented skin, the areola, which surrounds a central protruding nipple. Large sebaceous glands in the areola make it slightly bumpy and produce a sebum that reduces chapping and cracking of the skin of the nipple.

Internally, each mammary gland consists of 15 to 25 lobes that radiate around and open at the nipple. ..."

So the areola posesses the oil glands which lubricate and moisturize, the nipple has the duct openings for milk.


----------



## ERSsmom

Here's one.

I was talking to an old friend about her dd that just turned one. Her dd doesn't go to daycare and I was complimenting her on it because she is really mainstream. She replied, "but I should put her in daycare because it is good for socialization. DD has no socialization skills." WTH? She's one!!


----------



## catnip

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ERSsmom*
Here's one.

I was talking to an old friend about her dd that just turned one. Her dd doesn't go to daycare and I was complimenting her on it because she is really mainstream. She replied, "but I should put her in daycare because it is good for socialization. DD has no socialization skills." WTH? She's one!!









Right. Like kids can't learn socialization skills in the presence of their parents?


----------



## ERSsmom

I guess not according to her.


----------



## Kateana

I know I'm a total social reject, and I blame the fact that I didn't go to daycare.









Oh, brother. I hear that reasoning (if you'd call it that!) all the time. Is our society SO brainwashed to dump our kids off that we actually think it's beneficial?!







:


----------



## indiana ima

an ex-girlfriend of mine put her daughter into daycare for the "socialization" when her daughter was SIX WEEKS OLD.


----------



## Kateana

Oh, good! Now she'll "totally be like, the most popular girl in school!"


----------



## MaryCeleste

I've received a lot of dumb comments, but this one takes the prize for just plain weirdness:

I was in the checkout line at the grocery store, with DD (11 mo.) riding in the cart. An older woman in line behind me smiled at her, and mentioned that she loved children but never had any of her own. Then DD started leaning over into the cart and trying to grab a bunch of bananas.

Her: "Do you feed her those yet?"
Me: "Yes, she eats all kinds of food now. Her favorites are avocadoes, chicken, and yogurt."
Her: "Oh, but you have to make sure she doesn't eat too much."
Me: "Well, actually, I let her have as much as she wants. I've heard that babies don't really overeat."
Her: "Poor baby...that's so cruel. When she gets older she'll still expect to be able to eat as much as she wants, and she won't understand why she can't."

I couldn't think of any suitable response to that one...and still can't!







It was sort of poignant and surreal at the same time. As DH said later: "Wow, talk about projection."


----------



## mollyeilis

Sad she thinks that way. When actually you're teaching her early what I'm paying good money to Weight Watchers to learn, and that's how to eat _to satisfaction_. Your DD will likely never have to learn this as an adult, as she will already know it, do it, and reap the benefits of it. Good job!


----------



## Charles Baudelaire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kateana*
I know I'm a total social reject, and I blame the fact that I didn't go to daycare.









Oh, brother. I hear that reasoning (if you'd call it that!) all the time. Is our society SO brainwashed to dump our kids off that we actually think it's beneficial?!







:

Yes.

The thing is, for older kids who ARE able to socialize with others, I think play _for some time_ can be beneficial for _some_ kids. However, when any random argument in favor of playtime (and NOT for eight hours every day all week, all the time) can be used for babies six weeks old, we're truly in the land of self-delusion.


----------



## Charles Baudelaire

I've also heard that gayness is caused by having sex with people with your same genitalia. :LOL

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Annie*
My MIL is alot like this, only she thinks if a girl is wearing anything that's not overtly girly, like really girly, or a boy isnt wearing something really boyish, that it'll make them gay.She thinks it's something to do with the way others who dont know the gender would react ro something. WTH? Please note that I'm not saying there's anything bad or wrong about being bay, bi, or lesbian. I have several friends I







dearly that are lesbian and gay.
MIL OTOH is a total homophobe.What i'd like to know is what would she do if oen of her grandkids turned out to be gay/ bi? yk


----------



## ERSsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *indiana ima*
an ex-girlfriend of mine put her daughter into daycare for the "socialization" when her daughter was SIX WEEKS OLD.









:







uke


----------



## CryPixie83

Grr... My 78 year old "granny" lives with us and is a major junk food junkie. Naturally when dd (9 months) sees her eating something she wants to try it. What does dear granny say?

"You can't have [chocolate, poptarts, cookies, etc], it's fattening!"








:


----------



## sapphire_chan

I was 14 or so and in the grocery store and there was a dad carrying his baby in a sling







: . I went over and asked him about it and he very kindly explained how it worked and such







. After that as I was walking through the store I tried carrying some of the cans in the hood of my coat cause it was such a nifty idea and I wanted to try it out. :LOL

Worked at the public library for 6 months (and of course visit regularly) and strollers are a total pain in the ***. They get in the way, run into things, just a general nuisance.

Oh, and in response to something said about 3 years ago (my goodness this is a long thread) my dh's cousin pumps exclusively and has no problems pumping in the car while her dh drives.

Edited to add: Oh, and I NEVER pick up babies without asking and I don't ask complete strangers. If I ever go crazy and start reaching for a strangers baby I hope they move the baby away or slap my hand. Now, babies freely offered to me? OOOoooo, yes please!

Some times I'm tempted to tell highschoolers that condoms make you fat so there'll be more babies and children for me to look at. (just kidding) I drive my dh crazy when we go out to eat by pointing out all the cuteness in the restaurant.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Isn't them *not* getting used to it the whole point of EC and changing promptly? I mean, correct me if I'm wrong here...


----------



## ERSsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CryPixie83*
Grr... My 78 year old "granny" lives with us and is a major junk food junkie. Naturally when dd (9 months) sees her eating something she wants to try it. What does dear granny say?

"You can't have [chocolate, poptarts, cookies, etc], it's fattening!"








:

Oh, that makes me sick, and reminds me... A friend of mine has a 7 yo dd. This little girl is thick, not fat or even chubby, just not built like a supermodel. Well, her grandmother put her on a diet without her mother's permission. The girl told her mom that she couldn't eat what her mom made for dinner because it is fattening!! Needless to say, my friend was pissed!! Why don't we just make all little girls hate their bodies and start getting them plastic surgery at like...6?!!


----------



## MelissaEvans

Quote:

Why don't we just make all little girls hate their bodies and start getting them plastic surgery at like...6?!!
Or teach boys that their bodies are ugly/dirty/deffective starting at birth with circumcision? This is one warped country we live in!


----------



## gridley13

Boobs are cool.







Thanks for the info. Btw, since this conversation came up, I have been squeezing my areolas a lot, seeing if I can make a stream or something.







Anyone else? If not, could someone lie and say they have been so I don't feel stupid? :LOL

Quote:


Originally Posted by *swimmin_mama*







From my Anatomy & Physiology text (Marieb, 2002):

"Developmentally, mammary glands are modifed sweat glands that are really part of the skin, or integumentary system. Each mammary gland is contained within a rounded skin-covered breast anterior to the pectoral muscles of the thorax. Slightly below the center of each breast is a ring of pigmented skin, the areola, which surrounds a central protruding nipple. Large sebaceous glands in the areola make it slightly bumpy and produce a sebum that reduces chapping and cracking of the skin of the nipple.

Internally, each mammary gland consists of 15 to 25 lobes that radiate around and open at the nipple. ..."

So the areola posesses the oil glands which lubricate and moisturize, the nipple has the duct openings for milk.


----------



## ERSsmom

I squeezed mine last night, nothing came out of the areolas.


----------



## Ellp

My younger sister said to me about Dd...

"Stop being so possessive of the baby!"

Ummm...she's *MY* baby ?







:


----------



## pjlioness

MOL, at an art fair she was working (staff, not artist) this past Sunday, was complaining about one of the artists' kids, saying that he was obnoxious because he was fussy and clinging to his artist mama, refusing to stay downstairs in the nursery (the mama had tried it a couple of times, then gave up)...and this had been going on "all day"!!








:

I had met this artist last year at the (annual) event and we got to talking a bit because both our babies (my ds2) were about the same age. When I saw her this year, her ds had fallen asleep..."finally".














She chucked when I said that I'd heard he'd been having a tough time of it that day and agreed that it (strangers and chaos) was no easy situation for a little one.

It just goes to show that my OL's have no idea of the nature of little ones (nor, I suspect, did they ever). I mean, what do you want from a ~21m.o. who is in a new place with hundreds of strangers filing in and out for two days in a row (and the babysitter in the nursery was also a stranger)??!!??

...and they wonder why we haven't left ds1 with them yet??!!?? When/if he asks to spend time with them, then we'll drop him off for a couple of hours, but I don't see him asking any time in the near future!


----------



## WinterBaby

Not bad, but silly... A teenage new mother friend asked if we didn't have to go to the doctor to have the remaining milk sucked out of our breasts when we were done breastfeeding.









(and in reference to the previous lactation discussion... guernsies and jersies are two entirely different breeds of cow, albeit both dairy cows. A guernsey is brown and white and a jersey is fawn colored, both producing pretty fatty milk I think. Why I know this is entirely beyond me, however I have given it some reflection while hooked up to a double breastpump...)


----------



## guerrillamama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WinterBaby*
Not bad, but silly... A teenage new mother friend asked if we didn't have to go to the doctor to have the remaining milk sucked out of our breasts when we were done breastfeeding.









That's hilarious!

But seriously







: dumb question: What does happen to milk that doesn't get eaten? Does it just .... get absorbed back into my body fat? Or bloodstream? Or evaporate? (how?)









Quote:

(and in reference to the previous lactation discussion... guernsies and jersies are two entirely different breeds of cow, albeit both dairy cows. A guernsey is brown and white and a jersey is fawn colored, both producing pretty fatty milk I think. Why I know this is entirely beyond me, however I have given it some reflection while hooked up to a double breastpump...)
Thank you! I'm very glad to know that.


----------



## Mummoth

Well, with gradual weaning, in keeping with supply/demand, you would eventually get down to one nursing a day, and then they start to skip days until they eventually just don't ask again. Your supply dwindles over that time.

With sudden weaning your body would eventually reabsorb the milk I think... aside from what you'd probably hand express out of discomfort from being engorged.


----------



## guerrillamama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mummoth*
With sudden weaning your body would eventually reabsorb the milk I think... aside from what you'd probably hand express out of discomfort from being engorged.

That's what I meant, a sudden weaning situation.


----------



## Kateana

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Charles Baudelaire*
Yes.

The thing is, for older kids who ARE able to socialize with others, I think play _for some time_ can be beneficial for _some_ kids. However, when any random argument in favor of playtime (and NOT for eight hours every day all week, all the time) can be used for babies six weeks old, we're truly in the land of self-delusion.


I'm sorry if I implied that kids shouldn't have playtime.







I really think kids need it, for sure! I'd even go as far as to say all kids (who are old enough to play) need play time, every day.







But I was thinking more about the aspect of separating yourself from your kids for, as you pointed out, 8hrs/7days per week.







I would like to think that my kids will like playing even if I'm in the room.









My mom tried telling me last week that my kids won't be socialized b/c I won't use babysitters. For some reason she thinks my kids (when I have them) will be holed up at home with me all day and night.


----------



## Kateana

I'm sure something like this has been posted in here somewhere...

I just got of the phone with my lovely







: mother, who asked me about my mention of not feeding baby dairy for the first year (when I have my baby). "How will the baby get calcium?"

me: from my BM.
mom: How will you get it?
me: I'll eat lots of vegetables.
mom: there's no calcium in vegetables.










And the conversation just got better, let me tell you! She conveniently had another call in the middle of it, so we have yet to finish the conversation. I'm sure I'll be back to share. :LOL


----------



## indiana ima

Kati, do you not eat dairy already? Or are you assuming that you won't be able to eat it while breastfeeding? I ask because I've run into quite a few women who think breastfeeding automatically means you have to cut something (dairy, chocolate, garlic, whatever) out of your diet, but you don't know in advance if something will bother your baby's stomach.
Of course, if you are a vegan, or your family (or baby's father's family) has lots of dairy allergies and you're trying to avoid something specific to your situation, that's different.


----------



## Kateana

Mostly I was just thinking that I'm prepared to not eat dairy, not that I wouldn't at all regardless. My plan, if I can do it, is to avoid the sensitive foods to begin with, and then add one at a time to see if baby is sensitive to it or not. I know I'll have a hard time staying away from cottage cheese.







I love it too much! Actually, almost all of the trigger foods are my favorites. I hope the baby likes them, too...

I think my mom was concerned b/c she thinks babies need milk from cows to get calcium. That was her initial concern, at least. Then "breastmilk" wasn't satisfactory for her, and she had to push it. The sad thing is that this is the 3rd time I've talked to her since telling her I'm pg, and every time we talk she starts an argument about it somehow.









We just got off the phone, and it ended with her hanging up on me several times, and finally deciding she wouldn't answer when I called back. Among other things, she told me a reason I need to have a Dr, instead of a midwife, is b/c a Dr will measure my hips to see if they are wide enough to have the baby. She came up with a bajillion reasons that I was doing things wrong (I can't even begin to put them in this post), all pulled straight out of her a$$. When I answered her questions, or told her how everything I've read says otherwise (on just about every point), she flew off the handle and started the whole hanging up game. I honestly thought that answering her questions would aleviate her fears, or at least make her realize that I am not making choices out of laziness or ignorance, but out of research and wanting to do what is best for the baby. Instead, she took it as me telling her that she did everything wrong. She said my confidence in my answers was arrogant, and who am I to know. I have no idea what to do about the woman. I suppose this rant goes in a new thread, huh?


----------



## RosieTook

Kati...do you have my mother??







Just curious, cause although she has never hung up on me, everything I do is a personal insult to her.







:

Including asking her not to smoke in the house when dd and I are around. I see this woman about once every 2-3 months for 1-2 hours, and she acts like it is the biggest hardest thing to do....and she thinks smoking in the kitchen (in an open plan house) is good enough!


----------



## Kateana

We talked about the smoking thing tonight too. It was a sore issue for her in a big way. She said something about how I won't even come over. It's b/c she's a CHAIN smoker, and so is her boyfriend, and it's a one room apartment.







: She thought I was such a hypocrite b/c I used to smoke before I got pg, and now I'm "so high and mighty."







The truth is, even when I smoked I couldn't stand to be in her apartment. Of course, she used the old, "So-and-so smoked around us when we were kids, I smoked around you, and none of us died." Yadda yadda... I could go on and on about this woman.


----------



## Mama Rana

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kateana*
We talked about the smoking thing tonight too. It was a sore issue for her in a big way. She said something about how I won't even come over. It's b/c she's a CHAIN smoker, and so is her boyfriend, and it's a one room apartment.







: She thought I was such a hypocrite b/c I used to smoke before I got pg, and now I'm "so high and mighty."







The truth is, even when I smoked I couldn't stand to be in her apartment. Of course, she used the old, "So-and-so smoked around us when we were kids, I smoked around you, and none of us died." Yadda yadda... I could go on and on about this woman.

yeah, love that "we smoked around you and you're fine" argument. Both my parents have quit now, but they smoked while we were growing up. So far, I am fine, so is my brother (well, sorta :LOL), but my sister, the oldest, just got diagnosed with allergy-induced asthma. She's had some sort of URI 3 out of every 4 weeks since January, not to mention all the times in the past. I try not to play the blame game, but it does make you wonder.


----------



## catnip

Quote:

mom: there's no calcium in vegetables.
Then how does calcium get into cow's milk? Adult cows don't drink milk!

Don't stress too much about fuss foods. There is only one person in my 3 support groups that has a sensitive baby, and the food is cabbage. I'd suggest eating normally unless there is a problem.


----------



## Kateana

Catnip, I wish I had thought to say that. :LOL But by the way she responded to my calm, respectful answers, I doubt she'd respond well to something a bit smart-assed.







Although, I would have LOVED to say it.









Maybe you're right re: diet. I think I may be over planning a bit, eh?


----------



## StarMama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kateana*
We talked about the smoking thing tonight too. It was a sore issue for her in a big way. She said something about how I won't even come over. It's b/c she's a CHAIN smoker, and so is her boyfriend, and it's a one room apartment.







: She thought I was such a hypocrite b/c I used to smoke before I got pg, and now I'm "so high and mighty."







The truth is, even when I smoked I couldn't stand to be in her apartment. Of course, she used the old, "So-and-so smoked around us when we were kids, I smoked around you, and none of us died." Yadda yadda... I could go on and on about this woman.

Arg! That was *so* how my father was when he was alive around my neices. So my brother made up a "smoke allergy" so he'd stop around them. Of course, no one commented on him (and my mother) smoking around me... (she smoked while pregnant with all of her children as well, and her other son had life threatening allergies to eggs and other things and was ALWAYS in the hospital as a child). I had horrible asthma as a child. He still smoked around me. I was hospitilized twice as a child (once at 7, then 16) and almost died both times from pnemonuia, asthma, respitory infections, and other stuff I can't even remember. At one point I was put on a respirator that pushed constant air into me (and *that* was freaky feeling).

I also had at leas 2-4 times a year bad enough sinus infections to need antibiotics.

I picked up smoking myself at 14. Quit when I was 22. I'm 27 now. I have not had a single asthma attack, pnemonuia, or a sinus infection since I quit. Not once.

But I'm sure if my mother and father were still alive (she died of lung cancer, he of multiple strokes/diabetes/emphazema/alcoholism) I'm still darn sure they would both SWEAR that their smoking NEVER affected me. BULL!







:

Alrighty, yeah, just had to share that, although I'm sure your mom wouldn't listen to any reasoning regardless... I wish you tons of luck with her!


----------



## Kateana

Quote:


Originally Posted by *StarMama*
although I'm sure your mom wouldn't listen to any reasoning regardless...

:LOL Truer words have never been spoken.


----------



## mollyeilis

*Kateana* I'm sorry you have to deal with all that!

What does she think people did before doctors were doctors? When surgeons were actually barbers?









As for calcium, ugh. I'm dreadfully addicted (and allergic to) dairy, but even when drinking or eating it I KNOW that what's naturally in milk is perfect to grow a big fat COW, and the stuff that's in it that's needed for humans is PUT THERE by the processing place, not by nature. A, D, and so on...those are added to the milk, not there to begin with.

Harumph.

As for every conversation making her think you think she did everything wrong, I have the same problem with my MIL. She grew up in rural Korea, and I'm sure that if she'd stayed there, she'd have raised her babies like I'm raising mine. I would think she'd know that and would love me all the more for it. But instead, she bought all that her caucasian and American husband (and his family) said, she did what the doctors said, and now she's clinging to it all. So she hates that Eamon isn't on solids yet (ok so he's had a few bites off of my pear twice) and when I tell her that kids can develop all sorts of allergies when given things too early, she gets all tweaky on me. I'm allergic to everything, and though I was breastfed until I was 4 years old, I was also given solids at about 2 months. My hubby developed a cancer that was healed when he gave up meat entirely by going macrobiotic, and I consider that to be a MASSIVE "allergy" to meat (he was as close to carnivore as a human can get), which he was fed at 3 *weeks* of age.

So yeah, she DID do things wrong, but if she'd just realize that she did those things because the "crazy Americans" (as her own mom called the doctors and her husband) made her do it; if she'd followed her instincts we'd be almost the same.









Blah blah blah, I hope you can talk some sense into her soon. Or just stop talking about it all entirely. good luck!


----------



## sapphire_chan

So I've been reading this thread and laughing at all the people who say stuff like "too bad you can't get the good stuff yet" to little babies who know that bm *is* the good stuff. And yet....








Was holding my little cousin, and her mom gives me a bowl of apple and cinnamon and almond, and it was delicious. And I came within a hair of telling a 3-day-old that it was too bad she couldn't eat it yet. After I'd been reading this thread.







: Now, after mentally smacking myself upside the head, what I said to the baby (who I was talking to all the time, you know how you do) was "This is so good, it probably tastes almost as good to me as breastmilk tastes to you."







me!

Anyway, I'm feeling a lot more sympathy for all the people mentioned in this list who said that kind of stupid thing, cause I swear there was some kind of


----------



## the_lissa

What I always said to dd is yum- soon you will get (insert whatever food) flavoured nummies when I was eating something really good.


----------



## Kateana

Thanks Molly... I seriously thought I was alone on the crazy mom issue until I came to MDC and saw that so many moms are crazy (NOT the mamas here, but their moms and MILs!).







I guess mine is the only one I know of IRL that's bona fide insane. I learn more crap about her every day, and I guess it just makes me sad/mad/crazy to realize that there is no hope for her or our relationship.


----------



## lumi

Today's







: moment? I was talking to my mom, and commented on how much my DD has been enjoying her recent experiences with solid foods. My mom asked, "So you've stopped breastfeeding her now?". Huh? What on earth has one to do with the other?


----------



## ERSsmom

Don't you know that once they start eating solid foods they can stop nursing? That's only for little babies! :LOL


----------



## asianmama

My mistake was in telling people that my husband and I plan on co-sleeping with our baby (due in July 2005).

From my mom and her sister, I was told that it's not safe to sleep with a baby in the same bed. They acted like I had just told them I planned on setting my baby on fire. My response was, "Oh? And where did you sleep when you were a baby? I thought you slept in bed with grandma?" Once my mom realized the truth in this, she was very supportive of us co-sleeping! My aunt, however, is another story. She claims it's different, because they grew up in Indonesia and it's hot there. My aunt is a spaz though, so I don't expect her to be logical.

An elderly couple that my husband and I know tried very hard to convince us to get a crib because "babies are manipulative and will try and make you pick them up all of the time by crying a lot. You have to teach them that they can't manipulate you by leaving them alone in a crib." Hubby and I had no response, we were too busy trying to pick our jaws up off the floor.

Now, when people ask if we have a crib, I say, "We have everything ready for when the baby comes." I've learned not to volunteer any attachment-parenting information, as people seem to be so shocked and appalled that we actually want to spend time with our children.

Asianmama

p.s.
A La Leche League leader suggested at one of the group meetings that a good response to people's inappropriate/inconsiderate probing questions is: "Why do you care?" or "I would answer your question if I thought you genuinely cared, but I don't think you do." Who knows, maybe I'll have the guts to say that to somebody's face one day.


----------



## indiana ima

i can see why "why do you care" might feel a bit confrontational. you could try "why do you ask?" same question, really, but a different tone to it. and it would probably reroute the conversation into more pleasant territory.

oh, and your "we have everything we need" answer is too perfect! good call! i'm trying to craft some sentences like that in my head right now, because my parents are coming to visit soon, and my mom harps on my messy house and drives me nuts.


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## SharonAnne

I'll give any one of you seven gajillion dollars to call my mother and explain to her why she'd not be an asset at my homebirth, but rather, a liability. I guarantee you, my labor would slow or stop if she walked in the room. GUARANTEE.

She doesn't get this. I'm a terrible daughter.

But, I knew that already. :LOL


----------



## runes

Quote:

mom: there's no calcium in vegetables.
I had this funny conversation with DH a few months ago, along these same lines.

I had done a lot of research and decided that we would not give our baby cow's milk to drink (I'm ok with dairy in the form of cheese, yogurt etc.)

DH: "how is the baby supposed to get calcium? milk is the best for that"
(I won't get into the fallacy of this statement here in this post).
Me: "The same way the cows get it in the first place...green leafy vegetables! How do you think the cows get it themselves...they don't drink milk!! :LOL :LOL :LOL "
DH: silence for a few moments, then "oh"


----------



## asianmama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *indiana ima*
you could try "why do you ask?"

I like this alternative to "why do you care"! Thanks for suggesting it.


----------



## katarn

I thought this one was kindof funny... when i was telling a friend of mine that i was planning a home birth, she asked me. "so does the midwife bring one of those warming tables?

I said, no but I do (patting my chest)

ha ha


----------



## Kateana

Quote:


Originally Posted by *asianmama*
My mistake was in telling people that my husband and I plan on co-sleeping with our baby (due in July 2005).
***
Now, when people ask if we have a crib, I say, "We have everything ready for when the baby comes." I've learned not to volunteer any attachment-parenting information, as people seem to be so shocked and appalled that we actually want to spend time with our children.
***
p.s.
A La Leche League leader suggested at one of the group meetings that a good response to people's inappropriate/inconsiderate probing questions is: "Why do you care?" or "I would answer your question if I thought you genuinely cared, but I don't think you do." Who knows, maybe I'll have the guts to say that to somebody's face one day.

The co-sleeping issue was the first that my mom was (how shall I say)... a jerk about. Luckily that was long before I was pg, so it was more funny to me than the issues recently. I learned to not volunteer info at that point. I still hadn't learned to not answer questions, though.








***
That's a great response!! And it's sad, isn't it, that they are so shocked? It seems to me that they think it's inevitable to want to detatch, and they feel guilty to think it may not have to be inevitable, yk?
***
I wish I had the guts, too...


----------



## indiana ima

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SharonAnne*
I'll give any one of you seven gajillion dollars to call my mother and explain to her why she'd not be an asset at my homebirth, but rather, a liability. I guarantee you, my labor would slow or stop if she walked in the room. GUARANTEE.

She doesn't get this. I'm a terrible daughter.

But, I knew that already. :LOL

ooh! i could _really use_ seven gajillion dollars. can i try?

just kidding.









my mom wanted to be there when i had my second homebirth. i was able to explain to her that since she isn't very good at seeing me be in pain (since she's such a good mommy, you know) that maybe it wouldn't be helpful to me to have here there. that, she understood. i think because i was flattering her, and with my mom, it seems in the end, everything really is about her.









but to be a little less facetious, it's also true. my mom hadn't been in labor since 1968, since my siblings were born by planned c-sections. my mom gets a bit hysterical when she's upset, out of her element, or frightened. seeing me in pain would frighten and upset her. she doesn't "get" this labor stuff.

and even though she thinks the world of my midwife, she would have been asking annoying questions, and pushing for us to _do something_, etc.

far worse, i think i would have been very uncomfortable with just doing what i needed to do: vocalizing and moving as i needed. i would have been concerned about her feelings, and concerned at how her words and actions would make me feel. that would have STUNK.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *asianmama*
I like this alternative to "why do you care"! Thanks for suggesting it.









thanks! compliments are always nice.


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## William's Mom

Today while visiting my dh's 83 year old grandmother, the subject of breastfeeding came up.

I said something about how wonderful and easy it was to just be able to roll over and nurse at night, without even having to get up, or sometimes not even really having to wake all the way up! :LOL

She looked really thoughtful for a minute, and then said somewhat wistfully, "Sure sounds easier. They didn't have breastfeeding when I was a new mom."

Part of me was confused; part of me was shocked; part of me knew she must have mis-spoke, and meant that breastfeeding wasn't taught or encouraged by her dr, etc.

But I was caught off guard to the "not having breastmilk back then" comment, that I had nothing to say in response.

But in the car on the way home, dh and I had a good laugh about it.

(cross-posted in BF Support & Advocacy.)


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## gmcriss

well I am only part of the way through this list, but I thought I'd add some of my own

#1. My sister has a son and when he was 1 week old, she was taking him to the pediatrician. Anyway, she had a pink blanket over him because it is the warmest blanket they own (the live in PA and it was in Nov.). An older woman sees them and after learning the baby was a boy asked them why they would put a pink blanket on a boy because that could damage his self esteem and make him gay. My sister replied that they were planning on raising him to be gay, they thought it would be more fun that way!

#2. When my son was 1 week old, I took him to the dr for a check up and the dr told me that I should only allow my son to nurse for 20 minutes every 2-3 hours. Otherwise he would get fat and start chewing on my nipples. Needless to say, we don't see that dr anymore.

#3. My MIL told me that holding a baby too much would make him too attached to me. How can a baby be too attached? I thought that being attached to your parent/child was a good thing. I guess I am wrong--apparently being unattached to your child is the right way!

#4. My MIL told me that I need to stop worrying about what my son needs, rather I should focus on my husband's needs because he should be the most important thing in my life. After all, my kids will eventually move out but my husband won't so I should tend to his needs first and my kids needs last!







:









anyhow, there are others, but these ones came to mind first.

I also get the BF and sleeping through the night questions. I told my mom that if she was so concerned about Aiden's sleeping habits, I could call her at night each time he wakes up so she would be the first to know. The next time she asked, I did just that. I called her at midnight, 4 am, 6 am, and 7:30 am. She wasn't very happy, but she has never asked about his sleeping habits since then!









Glenda


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## kater07

Glenda, that is a great idea!!!


----------



## shishkeberry

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gmcriss*
I also get the BF and sleeping through the night questions. I told my mom that if she was so concerned about Aiden's sleeping habits, I could call her at night each time he wakes up so she would be the first to know. The next time she asked, I did just that. I called her at midnight, 4 am, 6 am, and 7:30 am. She wasn't very happy, but she has never asked about his sleeping habits since then!










Oh, that is too funny!


----------



## asianmama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SharonAnne*
I'll give any one of you seven gajillion dollars to call my mother and explain to her why she'd not be an asset at my homebirth, but rather, a liability. I guarantee you, my labor would slow or stop if she walked in the room. GUARANTEE.

It really bugs me that some people don't understand that giving birth is a personal and private affair, and decisions made by the birthing mother should be respected. Sometimes I think that when a pregnant woman says "giving birth" other people are hearing "birthday party".

Since your mom already knows that you would prefer to not have her there, is it possible to just not let her know when you go into labour? Call her after the baby's born (or a few days later, whatever you prefer!). Sometimes with stubborn people, you just can't argue any reason into them. It may be better to conserve your energy and just not let her know when the time comes.

Some people may say that this is just avoiding conflict and not resolving the issue, but I believe that it's worth it just to prevent yourself from feeling the stress of talking to your mom about it. This kind of stress during pregnancy isn't helpful! Also, it is very true that your mom's presence, when you don't want her to be there, can have an adverse effect on your labour & delivery, thus endangering the health/life of your baby and you. I think weighing that against hurting your mom's feelings...well, I think the health of you and your baby wins out.


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## kater07

We had an accidental UAHBAC, and my MIL and FIL happened to be visiting us when it happened. They also made it to the hospital about 12 hours before my parents during my first birth. My mom is still PI$$ED about it! She'll never get over the fact that I didn't want her in the room with me. I didn't want ANYONE in the room with me. I REALLY wanted both births to be just me and DH. That's what I was comfortable with, and I blame the nurses, my horrid MWs and the OBs for my c/s. If I'd just been left the heck alone like I asked, my first birth would have been amazing.

I just didn't tell a soul that I was in labor the 2nd time until I woke DH to heat the Hot Tub for me. Everyone got to see our beautiful DD within 10 mins of her birth. As mad as mom was about missing the 1st birth, she LOVES telling the story of the 2nd, and my dad does too!


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *William's Mom*
She looked really thoughtful for a minute, and then said somewhat wistfully, "Sure sounds easier. They didn't have breastfeeding when I was a new mom."
















:







:







:

That's kinda cute, and kinda sad.


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## Belle

People ask me all the time if my 9mo dd has naturally curly hair. "No, I gave her a perm"


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## mom2kbeth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Belle*
People ask me all the time if my 9mo dd has naturally curly hair. "No, I gave her a perm"

I have never understood this question. Dd has very curly hair too, and I have always been asked if it is naturally curly. I mean, do people really give perms to their babies/toddlers? Or sit there for hours with a curling iron? I don't know, maybe some people do, but I have never understood why anyone would ask that


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Belle*
People ask me all the time if my 9mo dd has naturally curly hair. "No, I gave her a perm"

OMG, my dd had really dark hair when she was a tiny baby and now it's coming in lighter so I've had *multiple* people ask if I gave her highlights or if it was natural. I always get this dumbstruck look on my face...


----------



## amybw

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Belle*
People ask me all the time if my 9mo dd has naturally curly hair. "No, I gave her a perm"

:LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL

that is so funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But in their defense..... people used to make ringlets in their daughter's hair. when i was little my hair was very ver curly but my mom would wrap pieces around her finger and curl it around to make it lay down.

I cant wait to use something like that someday :rofl


----------



## boingo82

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amybw*
:LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL

that is so funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But in their defense..... people used to make ringlets in their daughter's hair. when i was little my hair was very ver curly but my mom would wrap pieces around her finger and curl it around to make it lay down. ..

There was a thread on here somewhere, a person had an old 1950's baby/maternity book and it actually said that beginning at age 6 months you could give your baby a perm.


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## philomom

I got the "highlighted hair" thing as well. Both my kids have lovely, dark hair, but one summer, after a good bit of beach time, they had reddish streaks in their hair. It was pretty, but boy, would folks stop me to ask and stare.


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## gmcriss

I was down the street with my son (he was almost 3 mo. old.) he started to cry. I wasn't sure if he was hungry, tired, or over stimulated, so I decided to take him home. My neighbor starts to tell me that I should check to see if my son was teething. He said that his daughter got really fussy when she was three months old and she was teething. But, the teeth disappeared!!!







:







then she started teething again at 6 months

Now my husband and I joke all the time about the missing teeth when my son gets upset!

Glenda


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gmcriss*
He said that his daughter got really fussy when she was three months old and she was teething. But, the teeth disappeared!!!







:







then she started teething again at 6 months

My dd's molars (yes, molars) did this.... start at about 5 weeks they would come in, and then move back up...rather frustrating. I've heard the same thing from other parents, so it's completely possible.


----------



## magemom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CryPixie83*
My dd's molars (yes, molars) did this.... start at about 5 weeks they would come in, and then move back up...rather frustrating. I've heard the same thing from other parents, so it's completely possible.


ds4's bottoms did this. took him in for a weight check at 6 weeks as nothing was working for teething pain. nurse saw them and i gave him tylenol. they didn't come in for good till 6 months.

very glad i didn't follow MIL's advice from when dd was born- wean when they get teeth! wean at 6 weeks?? no thanks.


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## StarMama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *William's Mom*
She looked really thoughtful for a minute, and then said somewhat wistfully, "Sure sounds easier. They didn't have breastfeeding when I was a new mom."

Well, didn't women used to get shots to dry their milk up at some point, like it was standard, you weren't *asked* if you wanted it? Wouldn't it be awfully sad if that was the case?









But yes, it is funny! Like hello, we're MAMMALS!


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## Ell-Bell

Well, I don't have a baby yet (TTC #1) but I got so sick of family members asking DH and I when we were going to have a baby that last Christmas DH and I decided our reply to everyone would be "Well, between the crack and the swinging, now just really isn't a good time for us..." :LOL


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## Saartje

Ell-Bell: :LOL


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## heathenmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ell-Bell*
"Well, between the crack and the swinging, now just really isn't a good time for us..." :LOL









:














:
That is freaking awesome!


----------



## pjlioness

Quote:


Originally Posted by *StarMama*
Well, didn't women used to get shots to dry their milk up at some point, like it was standard, you weren't *asked* if you wanted it? Wouldn't it be awfully sad if that was the case?









That *was* the case...it was assumed, in some places up until ~30 years ago. When laboring women were put under, then drugged into oblivion (waaaaaay too many women who are now in their 70's+ experienced that - see Suzanne Arms' Immaculate Deception II), neither party was able to breastfeed...babies were too sleepy and unable to suck, so they were force-fed from bottles, which hurt their delicate mouths (if I remember the reference for that fact, I'll ETA), so they would have had little interest in nursing even if their mothers had been un-woozy enough to try. The shot was given to women soon after they delivered, probably to prevent engorgement.

Laboring/birthing that way was very brutal, and many women lost/nearly lost their lives. My husband's Gran hemorhaged so much after my FIL was born that she came close to dying several times and had to stay in the hospital longer than was the norm then (a week). FIL was not breastfed, and his teeth show it (his lower jaw is badly misshapen).

My father's mother, OTOH, barely made to the hospital before my dad was born (I think he was born in the paddy wagon - it was '44 and still wartime). She had no drugs and he was definitely breastfed (from some things my dad has said, I suspect he may have been "EBF"...he knows he was breastfed, at the very least). Oh, and he never needed braces...our dentist said he had perfect teeth, except for the cavities and fake tooth (his natual tooth was knocked out during a childhood fight with his brother)


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## alexsam

When I was PG, my DH and I went for our 20-week ultrasound at the hospital. We were casually discussing things with the ultrasonographer as she was scanning my belly. My husband said "Just a minute... You look like a cow..." The ultrasonographer said "That's terrible! You shouldn't say that to your wife! She's having your baby!" We both hastened to explain that my DH is a farm veterinarian and that he was mentally comparing my ultrasound to the animal ultrasounds he looks at every day! We both thought the experience was too funny and of course, the cow thing stuck. It really reached it's pinnacle of hilarity as we joked (as best we could) through my mastitis (a big problem in cows!) and using the breast pump ("Sounds like a barn in here!"). Of course, to my husband, a cow is not an insult, but one of the animals he has dedicated his education and life to, sees them as deserving of respect and reverence, and treats them better than many human doctors treat their patients. So, we laughed and joked at my "cow-ness"... one time, though, we forgot we were within earshot of others and my husband said "You are a woofty (ornrey!) first-calf heifer and a champion milker!" An aquaitnance said "That's not nice!" I said "I know! He didn't even offer to take me to the fair! I'm sure I would have won!" Life's short! Get all the giggles you can! :LOL


----------



## Kaitnbugsmom

Quote:

Might I point out that civilized people literally don't s*** where they eat?

I'm only on pg 67 after almost a week, but I had to respond to this one..

Thanks for the orange soda coming up to my nose and back down.... :LOL







:


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## mandalamama

just said to me today on another baby board: "every AP parent i know has kids who are whiny and clingy and dependent, it really ruins the kids ability to be independent."







:

i asked her to clarify, how did she know they were AP? did they say they are, or did she actually see them baby-wearing and hear about their co-sleeping experiences, or any other clues she could see to let her know they were truly AP? or did she just see a sling, perhaps, and assume? whatever the case, every other mainstream mom jumped in with "i've seen the same thing! all those AP kids are little sissies, they cry for their mommies constantly"























ok, it's one thing to be ignorant of what AP means and predict a baby will be clingy. it's another thing entirely to make blanket statements like that without explaining in what way they think the parents are AP. i mean, i know some moms who say "i'm AP!" just because they wear their kid in a Snugli once a week at the store, you know?


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## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mellybean*
every other mainstream mom jumped in with "i've seen the same thing! all those AP kids are little sissies, they cry for their mommies constantly"























Well, at least AP kids know their mamas will care when they cry







:


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## boingo82

BAH. DS deleted everything.









In a nutshell: Are the kids clingy because the parents are AP, or do the parents AP because that is what works with their clingy kids?

My mom had clingy, clingy, clingy kids. She says in a new situation I would sit on her lap for the 1st 1.5 hours before daring to venture off. All 6 of us were like that. She looked AP in public out of necessity. It was the only thing that worked for her kids.

She can't believe my DS is related to her. In a store, if you set him down, within 5 minutes he'll be out the front door into the parking lot. He will repeat this 25+ times in an hour. We are pretty AP but don't look like it in public because he doesn't WANT to be held. And the cloth dipes aren't that visible. :LOL

I think this is one of those chicken-and-the-egg questions. I think we as parents do what works for our kids and it may LOOK like the AP kids are clingy because of AP. But all the carrying and slinging and BFing and CDing and non-circing I have done hasn't made my DS clingy, and I kinda wish it had.







Grass is always greener...and it would've been nice if he had sat in my lap at the library today instead of taking off over and over and over.

I think that if you have clingy and whiny kids, sometimes AP is the only way to cope.


----------



## Jadzia

Ok, today I met my sister's new boyfriend. He is divorced and has a 15 year old son. We all went out to dinner and when we got to the restaurant, I took my son out of his car seat and put him in the sling. The man took one look at the sling and said "What a first-time parent thing to have."









Oh, and later at the restaurant he kept commenting on how well-behaved my baby is. Gee, I wonder why....


----------



## heathenmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jadzia*
"What a first-time parent thing to have."

What a snarky thing for him to say.







:


----------



## heathenmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heathenmom*
I have a new stupid/hurtful comment, from my MOM of all people.









I struggled with bf'ing (supply) from the very beginning ... it was really, really hard but I did my best and nursed as long as I could (dd went on a weeks-long nursing strike, and despite my best efforts, milk dried up .... it's a really painful topic for me ...







), which ended up being 7 months & 2 days (March 23rd ... will I always remember the last day she nursed?).

Anyway, I called my mom the other day to catch up, and when the conversation turned to dd, the first words out of her mouth were, "So, have you finally weaned her?" Like she's 18 y/o and I've been following her to class. I mean, she's only 8 months old!!







: It just really hurt my feelings that she would be so callous about a subject that she LITERALLY watched me struggle with for so long.

I have to update this post with a really supportive, happy comment from my MOTHER-IN-LAW!!!









We met her at a Highland games a couple of weeks ago where my dh was competing. It was her first opportunity to see Fiona since the birth (she was right by my head the whole time and was wonderful then, too!). She asked about whether Fiona had been sick at all (she's a nurse). I said nope, not a day ... no colds, no earaches, no nothing except teething. She said, "That's because you breastfed her. Even though you couldn't do it as long as you wanted, every bit was helpful." I can't tell you how good that made me feel.







I







my MIL!


----------



## polka123

I have not read thru every page but the "cat will suck the breath out of the baby" thing drives me insane :LOL


----------



## Lyndsay2_4

wow lots of responses!!

I have 3 kids and I am 21.







: so I get A LOT of

"dont you know what causes babies?" i tell them "nope! my mom never told me where babies come from! "

and when I was preggo with my oldest (i was 16 almost 17), I heard "your a lesbian how did you get preggo?" (for the record I am not a lesbian they thought that bc i never gave anyone in my school the time of day and only dated guys older than me and out of school. ) and my friend (who has NO common sense at all) "lyndsay. when did this happen?? HOW?" I looked her in the eye and said "i think he peed on the toilet seat" :LOL


----------



## Kaitnbugsmom

Quote:

"What a first-time parent thing to have."
Funny that considering this will be baby #3 and sling experience #2


----------



## elmh23

DH's family was all in town for his graduation this past weekend. Normally, we get along, even though we different on parenting. However, my SIL said some things that just upset me so much. I bit my tongue and didn't say anything but I was SO glad that when we got in the car, dh was angry too!

Anyways, we were out to breakfast on Sunday with DH's brother G, his wife S, two of dh's sisters J and K and J's husband D. Sarah was with her because she goes everywhere with us. There was another large family there with three toddlers, so all of the highchairs were in use. No biggie for dh and I, Sarah went back and forth between our laps. Then S suggests we get the carseat. I told we have a convertable carseat, so I couldn't get it out. S asks why we got a convertable instead of an infant carseat. I told her they were expensive so I just went to the convertable carseats first. G then states that since it's Sarah, we should've spent the money (Sarah is the first granddaughter after 6 grandsons, 4 of which are G and S's kids.) Then S said she loved the bucket because she could just plunk it down on the shopping cart and go. What did we do? I told her that we use the sling. We also have a grocery cart protector thingy (you know what I'm talking about, right?) and we have started to use that since Sarah can sit up. She said something about not wanting to carry her kids around. J just looked at me like "I'm sorry," but didn't say anything (she and D don't have kids yet) Then the food came, so we stopped talking. Eventually, right before the food came, a highchair became available. We put Sarah in it while we ate. She hated it. On the plus side, I'm pretty certain that once J and D have kids, I think they'll be somewhat AP. She loves my sling and is always asking me questions about co-sleeping.

Anyway, that's pretty long and if it doesn't make sense, I'm sorry. It took me awhile to write it because Sarah was cranky and crawling all over me.


----------



## artgoddess

Last night FIL & MIL took us out to a Japanese Restaurant as a happy 40th Birthday gift for DH. His 40th was a couple weeks ago, and there didn't even give him a card, nice huh? FIL dicides for us what we are having for dinner, even after MIL said "Well the _kids_ like sushi, they might want to order something different." But it didn't matter to him we were getting a family style cooked food meal.

16 month old DS isn't sure about these strange people. Strange to him cause even though they live less than and hour away they can't be bothered to see thier grandson often enough that he remotely recognizes them when he sees them, oh once every 3 months or so. Anyway he's fussy, I tried to seat hime bewen his grandma and I , that didn't go over well. FIL is shaking his head and muttering things about how clingy he is. DH and I take turns holding his through apitizers and soup and then when the dinner arrive, he sits him on the outside of the table across from me, next to him and away from grandparents. He's fine there, and happy. MIL laughs and says "Oh sure, now that mean old Grandma can't get to you your happy." Then FIL says "When are your parents going to take you down to the train station and leave you there alone for a couple hours before picking you up, like you need?"

I was


----------



## Mummoth

That's terrible!! My in-laws are the same way... they live 20 minutes away & the last time MIL saw DD was shortly after Christmas. FIL stops by occasionally for 5 minutes... he probably saw her about 2 months ago for about 2 minutes when he dropped by 'to see if we're okay" (read: try to guilt us into coming out their way because she can't be bothered to take us up on an invite to our house) I just consider that given their personalities, it's probably a *good* thing my kids aren't in contact with them more often than they are.


----------



## Ellp

What a stupid thing to say!! What did your DH do/say? I would have said that I'd take FIL and dump him off first!


----------



## chaismom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lyndsay2_4*
"dont you know what causes babies?" "

I was 24 when i was prego with dd and everyone at work would tell me that ???? wtf so i wanted another baby.

my come back was "Yup I just love making them" :LOL


----------



## artgoddess

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ellp*
What a stupid thing to say!! What did your DH do/say? I would have said that I'd take FIL and dump him off first!

Well DS was in y lap at the time, so I just held him closer and said "Oh no, nobodies going to do that to you." When we got in the car I said to DH "WTH was that comment your dad made about the train station?" DH just shoke his head and said, "I don't know some sort of childhood trama, maybe?" I was like"...soooo he wants the whole family to share in this trama?"

We decided that since he clamed down when he was seated far away from them that DS was just a good judge of character. Put it this way by the time we left the retaurant DS let the waitress hold him and play with him, but still wouldn't go to grandma or grandpas arms.


----------



## MamaHippo

I've already posted in this thread several time,s but it seems like new things just keep coming up!







:

At DS's 9 mo checkup, he tested anemic, so he had to be put on iron supplements. I was complaining to SIL about how terribly constipated DS was from the iron and how i hoped he wouldnt have to be on it long. She gives me this look like, Duhh, and says "Well, why dont you just give him Iron-Fortified FORMULA?" Like its the most obvious choice on earth. I said, Nooooo, i will never give him formula. She says, "Well, he's 9 mo old. he's not getting any real benefits from breastmilk." At this point DH puts his hand on my shoulder to say , Easy there girl, dont bite her head off. I swallowed my diatribe and changed the subject. I wish i had spouted the whole AAP thing about breastfeeding for a year, but i was too annoyed.
i will be spending 3 weeks in june on my MIL's farm with SIL and MIL (my nemesis), so i will come back with oodles of horrible tidbits, i'm sure









When I was pg, at the hospice where i work they have volunteers who come in about once a week. And some of these people, EVERY TIME they'd see me when i was 8, 9 mo pg with DS they'd say, like they were shocked, "Oh my god, you're PREGNANT!" Here's me with my huge tummy, thinking, WOW, REALLY? Maybe I should go take a test! (dripping with sarcasm)
I dont know why people say that.. like we'd actaully forget we're pregnant?
My sis is 31 weeks pg, and people do that to her too.

Lisa


----------



## pjlioness

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MamaHippo*
At DS's 9 mo checkup, he tested anemic, so he had to be put on iron supplements. I was complaining to SIL about how terribly constipated DS was from the iron and how i hoped he wouldnt have to be on it long. She gives me this look like, Duhh, and says "Well, why dont you just give him Iron-Fortified FORMULA?"

Lisa

Like the formula _wouldn't_ make him constipated??!!??









ETA: Depending on how much/what kinds of solid food(s) he's on, you'd probably be able to up his iron intake from them alone. Eggs scrambled with dark green leafy veggies or ground dark meat from chicken/turkey (or beef, assuming you eat meat) are good sources of iron. Also make sure he gets plenty of vitamin C with the iron-rich foods.) Grains (fortified or not) are NOT the best way to get iron into a baby, as they are not usually well-digested by those under 18 months. (Those iron-rich baby cereals are a joke, AFAIC. My ds#1 was severely anemic at 16mo. _despite_ eating them.) If he doesn't eat much solid food yet, your taking iron supplements/upping your intake of iron-rich foods will help him. Also know that breastfed babies tend to have less iron (but it is in a better form) than those fed formula, so they may test as being anemic when they actually aren't.


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## HotMama

FYI anyone who considers iron supplements...the kind of iron used in supplements blocks your child's body's ability to absorb the iron (which is super absorbable) in your breastmilk.

Seaweed is very high in iron and nori is a favorite snack of most toddlers I know. Before dd was old enough for nori, I made her a seaweed soup out of my own paranoia about anemia. (I made her formula from scratch and didn't add any iron, so I wanted to be sure she got enough. She joined our family through adoption and even though she never had a bottle and nursed all the time, I didn't produce all that much milk.)


----------



## User101

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HotMama*

Seaweed is very high in iron and nori is a favorite snack of most toddlers I know. Before dd was old enough for nori, I made her a seaweed soup out of my own paranoia about anemia.

Lundberg organic makes an absolutely wonderful tamari and seaweed whole grain rice cake.


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## Shenjall

Theres also an organic iron supplement....what the heck was the name....I took it when I was preg and man, it tasted like the bark of a tree, but it worked! It worked even better when taken with a orange juice chaser!


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## Kateana

There's also molasses. But I don't know anything about giving it to babes/young kids...


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## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pjlioness*
chicken/turkey (or beef, assuming you eat meat)

Um, I'm pretty sure this was a typo, but chicken and turkey (and fish!) are meats too. :LOL


----------



## pixiexto

At our first daughter's 3 month WB check-up, our Ped at the time said to me "Well, you can begin with rice cereal and soft vegetables next month...." and went into the whole solids spiel. I expressed that we were going to wait for DD to show readiness for solids, and certainly wait until she was 6 months old, the Ped said "Oh! Ok..... well.... you know, if you wait too long with solids, she *won't learn how to chew*!"

Um, excuse me? :LOL

Needless to say, I began taking DD to my family doctor (who I *love*, and who never expressed concern about DD being condemned to a life of blender foods!







)


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## Kundalini-Mama

My son drinks chllorophyl in his OJ, he calls it his green juice. When he wasn't reacting to molasses, I'd make an iron syrup for myself that he would hog down as well. I have but a minute, but there is a post on it in the unassisted birth forum---the thread is about herbs, tonics and such.

lorijds has a great iron booster that I have since memorized and passed on to many. She recommends some 2-3T blackstrap molasses w/about the same amt of Silk creamer (french vanilla is







). SHAKE WELL, and add a little cold water and an ice cube or two.









hth
Amy


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## mandalamama

at our tag sale today, pretty much everybody asked, "how much for the baby?"







: was cute the first two times, got realllllly old after that. i just kept answering, "she's priceless"









ETA: thanks to this thread, when a pregnant woman came over, i just smiled and kept my mouth shut :LOL she ended up talking to me about Willow, and then i asked polite questions. she seemed really happy and relieved!!


----------



## William's Mom

I must be a magnet for people who have anti-bf and anti-ap views&#8230; :LOL

Anyway, this time, I was at the doctor's office, waiting to be called back to speak to the pediatrician. (Background story: My ds has been having severe nose bleeds, blood in his stool, and LOTS of lab tests to determine what was wrong&#8230; Immediately prior to the appt, I had received a phone call from the dr's office, asking me to come on in as soon as possible because the dr needed to talk to me. So needless to say, I was anxiously waiting my turn.)

A nurse came out to the waiting room and asked me, "What type of formula is your son on?" (Well, in and of itself, that question was annoying because they automatically assumed that he was ff. If she had bothered to look in my chart, they would know he was ebf, and is just now starting to experiment with organic solids, but I digress.)

I replied, "He's not on any formula. He gets breastmilk, and now a few solids."

The nurse left, and I sat back down in the waiting room. There were several other women in there, and this sparked a conversation between them.

One of them said, "Oh, I could never do that, it's just not natural."

I was









Had I been in a better frame of mind, I'm sure I would have had a lot to say, but 1) I was really worried about what the dr wanted to see me about, and 2) the nurse came back out then and told me the dr was ready to see me.

So for all you bf-moms, just wanted to let you know you're doing something "unnatural."









By the way, my ds was diagnosed with Von Willebrand's Disease (a genetic blood disorder similar to hemophilia), so it's been a really, really rough week. The dr sent us back to the hospital for more labs, and ds still has blood in his stool, and on top of it, he now is coughing and sneezing, and just generally not feeling well. Poor guy. It is truly breaking my heart.

Thanks for listening.

(Cross posted in BF Support & Advocacy.)


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## Mummoth

Williams mom, I'm glad you have your answer, and I'm sorry it wasn't something simple.

... and what a bunch of loons!!! Breastfeeding... unnatural... GAH!!! Do you think maybe they meant unnatural to nurse beyond infancy? Because if they seriously think *natures* way of nourishing babies is unnatural... wow!


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## pjlioness

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan*
Um, I'm pretty sure this was a typo, but chicken and turkey (and fish!) are meats too. :LOL

Nah, wasn't a typo either ...just fouled up punctuation. My mind wasn't all there when I was typing...mommy brain.


----------



## Belle

When my dd was about a week old we took her to the ped's office to have her weight checked. (She was back to her birth weight by two weeks) Our regular ped only works part-time because she's a mom of three small children, so we saw one of her partners. He asked how BFing was going. It was fine but I was really tired from lack of sleep. I hadn't yet figured out how to nurse lying down. The dr. told me to have dh give her a bottle of formula in the middle of the night so that I could get some sleep, because lack of sleep will cause supply problems. I had no supply problems, but this would have caused some for sure. Fortunately we knew bad advice when we heard it so that was one we ignored.

We also never filled the Rx of vitamin drops that he gave us. Our regular ped is much more supportive of our choices.


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## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Belle*
He asked how BFing was going. It was fine but I was really tired from lack of sleep. I hadn't yet figured out how to nurse lying down. The dr. told me to have dh give her a bottle of formula in the middle of the night so that I could get some sleep, because lack of sleep will cause supply problems. I had no supply problems, but this would have caused some for sure. .

_Sabotage!_

Grr, I just wish Drs would keep quiet about breastfeeding unless they actually have some training and accurate information on it....







:


----------



## pjlioness

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Belle*
Fortunately we knew bad advice when we heard it so that was one we ignored.

It worries me that parents are told to look to their ped.'s for breastfeeding information..."ask your doctor". As I, Belle, and too many others have found out, most Dr.'s don't know enough about breastfeeding (though some think they _do_).

The first ped. we had for ds1 said on our first visit (when ds1 was 1&1/2 weeks old) that I shouldn't feed more than 15 min. on each side, or ds would tire out (he was a low-birthweight baby). I knew better, fortunately. I followed her instructions at her office so I didn't have to deal with her and went back to ignoring the clock afterward.

When we met with the Dr. to interview her about a month before ds1 was born, I asked if her practice had a LC on staff. She said she considered herself the LC. I wasn't impressed, but liked everything else about her, so we went with her for a while. If I hadn't been a well-informed mom (I read every decent book I could get my hands on about breastfeeding while pregnant), we would have been in trouble. When her advice about ds1's health stopped beng mostly good, I found a holistic ped. (His suggestions did wonders for ds1's health.)

So, what do we do about the facts that most ped.'s are useless when it comes to being even a little knowlegeable about breastfeeding and that good LC's can be prohibitively expensive {especially since health insurance often -usually(?) - don't cover LC visits - neither of the insurance co.'s I've had when I needed an LC did - fortunately I only needed one ~$90 visit w/ds1, and the LC I saw w/ds2 was on staff - salaried - at a hospital}??? Many moms and babies who rely on their ped's for breastfeeding knowlege, support, and advice have a short(er) breastfeeding relationship. I know some of them.

This problem must be addressed if we expect to raise breastfeeding rates in this country. One idea...maybe we moms could band together and give talks at local med. schools on this situation. Petition our insurance companies to pay for LC's. Etc., etc.


----------



## User101

Generally the only people I see telling people to ask their docs about breastfeeding companies are extremely mainstream parenting books and magazines (who only seem to be paying lip service to breastfeeding anyway) and the formula companies. Makes you think...


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## Belle

Our ped's office even has an LC on staff. I wish she would educate some of the peds there.


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## jenP

Quote:


Originally Posted by *slygrrl*
At our first daughter's 3 month WB check-up, our Ped at the time said to me "Well, you can begin with rice cereal and soft vegetables next month...." and went into the whole solids spiel. I expressed that we were going to wait for DD to show readiness for solids, and certainly wait until she was 6 months old, the Ped said "Oh! Ok..... well.... you know, if you wait too long with solids, she *won't learn how to chew*!"

But rice cereal and strained peas... THAT will teach her how to chew!?

On the iron subject, we juice baby spinach (with a carrot or pear for sweetness.) Also I just got some "Naked" brand superfood Green Machine juice for when I don't feel like cleaning the juicer.

Jen


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## MamaHippo

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Belle*
When my dd was about a week old we took her to the ped's office to have her weight checked. (She was back to her birth weight by two weeks) Our regular ped only works part-time because she's a mom of three small children, so we saw one of her partners. He asked how BFing was going. It was fine but I was really tired from lack of sleep. I hadn't yet figured out how to nurse lying down. The dr. told me to have dh give her a bottle of formula in the middle of the night so that I could get some sleep, because lack of sleep will cause supply problems. I had no supply problems, but this would have caused some for sure. Fortunately we knew bad advice when we heard it so that was one we ignored.

We also never filled the Rx of vitamin drops that he gave us. Our regular ped is much more supportive of our choices.


All these clueless ped.'s make me soooo thankful I have a great Ped. who fully supports my choices. She is pro-cosleeping ( did it with all her kids), pro-extended bf (my sis bf her dd until 27 mo, and the doc was fully supportive and encouraging), and always trusts my instincts if i think something is wrong. She's about 80; she was my doc as a kid. She's awesome.


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## janerose

OK, so this isn't THE worst or dumbest thing done, but still...

Twice in the past 2 weeks one of our parents has asked us if they could give Emi sweets.







: WHY on God's green earth would you give a baby sweets???? First, my mother asked if she could give her "just a little bite" of a cookie. Then my FIL asked if he could give her maple syrup?







This after conversations with both of them about how we're trying to eat healthier, loose weight, set a better example for her, etc.









This explains a lot about dh & my weight problems though....

Holly


----------



## RedPony

I have really enjoyed all 76 pages of this thread. :LOL

I have heard a lot from my mother (keep in mind that I don't have children yet, but am planning to in the near future, so she's _teaching_ me):

NOT having children would be selfish. (As opposed to having them which is of course, the natural order of things.







)

Adopting a child would be difficult, unnatural, and WHY? (Apparently having biological children is the only way to go.)

Breastfeeding makes for socially isolated, clingy, stranger hating babies who have no other way to interact with their fathers.









Schedules are VERY important (feeding, sleeping, playing). Mommy to herself time is equally (if not moreso) important.








Can't wait until I actually have children and can come back and post here! :LOL


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## akmbloom

janerose, I am amazed how many people want to give sweets to babies. My mother-in-law (doing that annoying "talking for the baby" thing) said, when my DD was 3 days old, "I'm dreaming about chocolate milk and ice cream sundaes, and cake and pies..." and I have already had to warn my mom that our daughter won't be getting constant sugar infusions....


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## pjlioness

Quote:


Originally Posted by *akmbloom*
janerose, I am amazed how many people want to give sweets to babies. My mother-in-law (doing that annoying "talking for the baby" thing) said, when my DD was 3 days old, "I'm dreaming about chocolate milk and ice cream sundaes, and cake and pies..." and I have already had to warn my mom that our daughter won't be getting constant sugar infusions....

I think it says something about their own love/hate relationship with sweets/food - like they can't wait to give sweets to a kid because then they can justify their own "need" for them.


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## mamabohl

whew! i finally made it to the last page... man there are some wacky people out there, lol.

I have a couple...

#1. I was at a church picnic last Saturday (ds is 7 months old) and I was sitting and eating with ds facing outwards in my wrap. I had fried chicken (I'm in VA, everywhere you go there's fried chicken), baked beans and macaroni and cheese. Ds was trying to grab my food, like he always does (he is much more sensitive to food than my older ds was so we're going really slow with solids...) and a woman across the table from me says, "give him some baked beans!"







I just smiled...so then she hands me her spoon (it's clean, she hadn't used it) So I say thanks and hand it to him then I say, "that should keep him busy until he realizes there's no food on it, haha" She says (all exasperated), "I didn't give it to you for him to PLAY with, feed him!" I'm sitting here thinking, does she actually expect me to give him something off of this plate? Wish I'd actually said something but i just ignored her, lol.

#2. There was a bit of a discussion on CIO and co-sleeping going on on another forum I'm on...one woman was talking about letting her babie's cry. She said they were sleeping 8+ hours by 8 weeks and 11 weeks (respectively)...I'm asuming by that she ment that she was letting them cry THAT early!?







:








And then she said..."when the cries turn to whines, at about 8 or 9 months, that's when they get in trouble. I hate whiny babies."







All I could think was those poor poor babies.


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## gmcriss

So, my MIL and I haven't gotten along since my son was born and I wrote her a letter telling her about our parenting style and that I want her to just accept it without negative comments. In the letter, it stated that "we believe a babies wants are a babies needs, at least for the first year of life". So, MIL wrote me a letter back and in it said "Babies don't know what they want or need, it is your job to decide for them."







So, apparently, when my son wakes up in the middle of the night (and occasionally cries) I guess I could just change his diaper and tell him that he isn't really hungry. I have DECIDED he really just needs his diaper changed?

In the same letter, she told me that by using AP, it almost guarantees that me and DH will get divorced.









That by choosing not to use a pacifier or a "lovey" blanket, we are depriving our son. I am pretty sure that you aren't supposed to use a blanket so the baby doesn't sufficate on it. But, this is the same woman that told me that SIDS is just made up by doctors to scare parents







(FIL is a doctor BTW!)

Anyhow, this just proves to me that I am correct in my decision to not leave my son alone with her ever because she is ignorant.

Glenda


----------



## William's Mom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gmcriss*
Anyhow, this just proves to me that I am correct in my decision to not leave my son alone with her ever because she is ignorant.

Glenda

Glenda, you are definitely correct!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## mandalamama

well somebody finally said something stupid directly to me about parenting stuff. and it wasn't anything i'd seen in this thread, so i was tongue-tied!

we were at the store and my husband was wearing Willow in the snugli, front-facing. that's her fave for going through stores, whenever we move she moves her legs, i think she's pretending she's walking







anyway, this mom sees her and is how cute, yada yada. i was telling her how we wear her in either the snugli or a sling, i was asking if she'd ever tried a Mayawrap, then she interrupted me to say "if you get tired of that you should try a leash!" and then she pointed to her son and started going off on this LONG speech about the wonders of leashing your child. like, "it's the best thing i've ever found and he loves it" or something like that. i can't remember exactly what she was saying because her tiny son was 20 feet away and pushing someone else's shopping cart from the bottom! the way he was walking, i'm guessing he was only 9 or 10 months old. so she starts saying how she forgot his leash, and she's still talking to me! i herded her over to her son until she finally got a clue and picked him up.


----------



## kelseybelle

Quote:

Tree-dwelling herbalist mama to ds (5/02) and homebirthing goddess to vbac, full term, surprise twins born 3/17/05!!!!
"THIS IS NOT A PLACENTA."
...had to interject that I wish I could hear the whole story Wildcrafter! Blessings to you, and thanks for the giggle!...
I'm not done reading, sorry!


----------



## tapmilkmom

I have been reading this thread for DAYS and relating them to my mom and dh. Some make me laugh til I cry.....others just make me cry.

I have an 8yo daughter and a 4 month old son. When dd was 5 months old we were at breakfast with SIL and she INSISTED that my dd be given bacon as a "perfect first food". What an idiot! This is the same women who insisted that she smoked thru both pregnancies and her kids were just fine. (both with asthma and her dd still has a heart condition. They almost lost both at birth due to heart/lung issues, but.....yeah ,it probably had nothing at all to do with the smoking! She asked why I planned to bf. I said,"it is so much healthier!" She scoffed and asked,"who told you THAT?!" like it was stupid.

We held dd a lot (she was 10 days overdue, we were excited that we finally got to meet her!) She said,"why don't you just put her in her carseat! Why do you hold her all the time?!" I replied,"we are so happy to finally meet her! How would she know how happy we are to meet her if we let her sit by herself in her carseat!?" I wouldn't treat a houseguest that way, why would I treat a baby like that?

This is my first post! So happy to be here. I'm so sick of the mainstream boards. If I hear ONE MORE MOM talk about how "wonderful and enlightened" <insert name of 'Facts of Life' star here> is because she had the brilliant idea to put hot sauce on her kids tongues I will just LOSE IT!!!!

P.S. And if I can figure out my sling I'll be a happy camper!


----------



## kiahnsmum

Hi tapmilkmom head over to the babywearing threads you might get some help with your sling problem, i found practicing in front of a mirrorr helped me. Welcome and good luck


----------



## tapmilkmom

Thanks for the welcome!

I feel like I've found My People!

I have been to that board and from there found mamatoto.com and am going to make a different kind of sling tomorrow.

Oh, and this wasn't one of those dumb things that someone said, it was kinda' nice, actually. I went into work to see everyone when ds was about a week old. My boss and long-time friend saw ds in the sling and said,"neat, he kinda' went from the inside to the outside in that thing!" (because I was wearing him too low and he really was just on the other side/outside of my uterus! ha!) His wife bf, they co-slept, etc. (and bf til the son was at least 2-yay!)

I'm hoping that I can get ds so tight in a sling/wrap/whathaveyou that I can still tap dance with him in there. I've been waiting til he had really good head control to dance with him and my Happy Feet are itching to make some noise!


----------



## peaceful_mama

My dad, when my son was under a month old "when can that baby go on 'regular formula?"

The LC"s at the hospital I delivered at trying to say I had PPD when I knew full well what was going on--my son wouldn't breastfeed because the postpartum nurses *insisted* on him having a bottle at 7 hours old! Having a baby who screams and arches away from you and having to spend so much time a day pumping that you can't even *hold your baby* because you also have to eat and sleep.........it's enough to make anyone a little upset.
Thank God for Dr. Sears who says we all have hormones that make us WANT to hold our babies!

"If he has formula, it will give him energy to wake up and nurse." (it will get rid of his jaundice, etc.)

I REALLY should have done a LOT more research, I would've known at the time what crap I was hearing.

My child will starve if I don't let him eat whatever's on my plate.
SIL shoving WHIP CREAM into my 5 mo. old MILK ALLERGIC baby's mouth! (that's not a said but a done, happily enough it wasn't enough to cause a reaction for poor DS)


----------



## Kateana

I'm glad I got onto this thread AFTER getting pg, or I may have just decided it wasn't worth it. It sounds like the worst part about being a parent is dealing with other parents (or ppl who think they are).







:


----------



## mama2zoey

Well, upon arriving at the hospital after my water breaking DH and I were directed to a series of rooms and met w/a series of nurses and interns, (I was able to walk throughout this entire ordeal), finally ending up with a young male intern who said, "so you think your water broke" giving a smirk to the nurse alongside. Uh, yes...he then asked that I change into a gown and remove my panties...asking if he was sure, I proceeded and of course, water gushed everywhere once my panties were removed! He then, (obviously surprised) said, "yes, I see that your water has broke" Duh!









While in the laboring suite the same intern as above was in a rotation during the early half of my labor and came in as I was using the birthing ball. He asked how I was doing and noted that I was fine and smiling and sharing w/my family the excitement of the impending birth. He then asked that I sit down on the bed and then he proceeded to inform me that "childbirth is going to be pretty painful", at this point I just looked at him and said, "no sh*t?" (I NEVER use profanity). I totally felt as though he was pushing drugs on me and my experience...because he then told me that we would talk "later" and see if there was any "change" in how I was feeling. I said from the beginning that I didn't want any drugs and I stuck to it! Thank g*d he wasn't around for the actual birth! I am definitely planning a homebirth or a birthing center experience next time around! Also, the next day he had to come in our room as part of his student rotation and check up on me and he quietly asked how my labor went and smiling I replied, "GREAT!" Errrrr...it didn't help that he looked to be about 19! Moron!







:


----------



## peaceful_mama

How about this? When I was in the hospital up in postpartum after my son's birth, I TRIED and TRIED to get the nurses to help me as he just would NOT latch on! I could NOT keep my boy awake and eating!
They would look at him a second, pronounce everything 'fine' and leave, saying they would be back in 5-10 mins to check on us. Then they'd never show up and I'd be back on the button calling them...
One nurse came in and said "so what are you going to do with him when you get home?"

Ummm.........MAYBE if I had a LITTLE HELP *HERE* we could get him going!

Another asked me, when my son was less than 24 hours old if I LIKED bf'ing.

Yes, I found a complaint number and I **tched to anybody who would listen. I told them exactly what I felt, which was that that nurse WANTED me to say no, I didn't and just bottlefeed him. And the one who came in 7 hours after he was born, this is 5 AM basically bullied me into letting him go to the nursery for a bottle, told me he'd starve, he'd be retarded and blind because of jaundice, made me feel like she was going to call CPS.....so I caved.

When I told another LLL mom about the 'do you LIKE bf'ing' comment, she said 'yeah and we should all make parenting decisions based on what WE *like* and what's easiest for US, right?' and we laughed...

UNFORTUNATELY I do NOT live in a state that has birthing centers or a midwife-assisted homebirth option. The best I can do here is switch hospitals and get my doula back on next time. (I am WAY TOO PARANOID to do it alone at home......seen too many shows where something goes wrong at the last minute. Heck, with my son, they said something about his heart rate, threw a mask on me, and did an episiotomy.....it's all a blur it happened so fast! He was born about 5 minutes after that.)


----------



## moistangel

"Does it bother him?" in reference to my son's intact foreskin.  I assume it bothers him less than a huge chunk of missing raw flesh in a wet, soiled DIAPER?

The pediatrician at the hospital (thankfully, not my son's doctor) told me my collustrum "liquid gold" was CAUSING Xan's jaundice. He told me if I didn't stop breastfeeding, Xan would never get to go home.







:

And, my personal "favorite:" that if I don't let him CIO his lungs won't mature. Funny how some babies with immature lungs get put on ventilators in NICUs, but my preemie got sent home to cry.


----------



## kiahnsmum

moistangel
The pediatrician at the hospital (thankfully said:


> http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif[/IMG]:


----------



## JSerene

From my mom: "the baby got jaundice because you're a vegatarian."

From my MIL as I took baby from her to breastfeed: "haven't you ever heard of powdered milk?"

That's all I can remember right now!


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zakers_mama*
UNFORTUNATELY I do NOT live in a state that has birthing centers or a midwife-assisted homebirth option. The best I can do here is switch hospitals and get my doula back on next time. (I am WAY TOO PARANOID to do it alone at home......seen too many shows where something goes wrong at the last minute. Heck, with my son, they said something about his heart rate, threw a mask on me, and did an episiotomy.....it's all a blur it happened so fast! He was born about 5 minutes after that.)

Melanie- Stop watching those shows! :LOL What state do you live in? I'm in Illinois where midwifery is illegal and I can still point any woman wanting a homebirth to an excellent and very experienced group of midwives







Just because something isn't "allowed" doesn't mean it isn't a possibility


----------



## gmcriss

Wow! I never knew midwifery was illegal in some states! Why?


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## ian'smommaya

depends on who you ask.
i have always thought midwifery was illelgeal some place because of the ama. more midwives doing homebirth means less money for doctors.
maya


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## NaomiLorelie

It's illegal in NC too but that's easy to get around. Whomever cuts the umbilical cord is considered to have 'delivered' the baby so as long as mom or dad do it, it's considered a UC.


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## peaceful_mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CryPixie83*
Melanie- Stop watching those shows! :LOL What state do you live in? I'm in Illinois where midwifery is illegal and I can still point any woman wanting a homebirth to an excellent and very experienced group of midwives







Just because something isn't "allowed" doesn't mean it isn't a possibility









There isn't a midwife here who will homebirth. You CAN however get a DOULA to do it. I know ppl who have. I STILL think I'm too paranoid.....but there is a part of me that REALLY wants a WATERBIRTH next time, and there is not a place here that does waterbirth. I got in the whirlpool while in labor with DS and it was WONDERFUL!! I wanted to have my baby in there, they said they are not officially liscensed to allow it but it's happened on accident a couple times! lol I LOVED the water though. If I could've stayed there I never would have had even the little shot I did have. And next time NO DRUGS not AT ALL I did it once, I can do it again, I know I should've walked more. And not been induced. That would be the reason I want to switch to a midwife even though I do love my OBGYN.......it's not HER it's the philosophy behind an OB's work.


----------



## indiana ima

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zakers_mama*
UNFORTUNATELY I do NOT live in a state that has ... a midwife-assisted homebirth option.

Don't be so sure! It may not be legal to practice midwifery in your state, but there may well be "underground" direct-entry midwives anyway. that is true here in indiana, and my midwife, gd bless her for it, risks a lot by doing what she does.

ETA: oops, should have read the last few posts instead of jumping to answer! anyway, are you absolutely sure you can't get a direct entry midwife to travel to you? some will drive a long ways to help women homebirth.


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## kelseybelle

Quote:

...90% of the time if he's crying, there is a good reason that I can figure out and I fix whatever the issue is. The solution to those times when I can't figure it out is not to give ds to my MIL and LET HER WALK AWAY WITH HIM!!! grrrr.
omg, my mil is the SAME WAY! She's even gone so far as to walk into MY house when ds was crying in my arms b/c he was tired while I was trying to finish a conversation on the phone and get her and my other guests settled, and TAKE HIM FROM ME, with out asking, just assuming I needed help, and walk away w/ him! I immediately hung up the phone and walked over to her and said, please give him back and took him without waiting for a reply. Two days before that at church when he had been really fussy the day before she asked if she could hold him and I said, "no, he's been really clingy, I'd like to keep him with me right now." and 15 min later she walked over to me, took him out of my arms and walked away! I was so stunned I just stood there. This is the woman who when ds was 4 or 5 weeks old wanted us to bring him over to her house at 8 o'clock at night because she'd had a bad day and needed a baby fix. NEVER MIND that I was the one who had been staying up with him at night, nursing him and taking care of him....NEVER MIND that he's MY baby, I didn't birth him so that she'd have comfort on a bad day...and dh had the audacity to wonder why I was crying and so angry when we did in fact bring him over there at 8 O'CLOCK at night...I made him vow never again. If she wanted to see him she could bring her little butt over to MY HOUSE and bring dinner with her and offer to clean my kitchen b/c I'M THE MOMMA not HER, and MY baby needs ME, and doesn't need to COMFORT his grandmother! Sheeesh. Dh is such a momma's boy, it took her doing this 3 times for him to understand what the problem was. Things are a little better, but it's so fake when we see them and she's all overly, "How are YOU Kelsey, how are YOU feeling..." while she has her hungry eyes on him just waiting to pick him up. I have to say that I'm always really good about giving him to her if he's fed, changed and happy. But you've got to respect the momma. I did not birth my child so she could have another chance at raising one....I HATE HATE HATE how grandparents are all..."hows my baby, here let me give you all kinds of suggestions at how to raise him even though it's totally implying that you know absolutely nothing about raising him..." uuuggghhh. sorry, I really needed to vent! Back to finishing reading all of these posts!


----------



## peaceful_mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *indiana ima*
Don't be so sure! It may not be legal to practice midwifery in your state, but there may well be "underground" direct-entry midwives anyway. that is true here in indiana, and my midwife, gd bless her for it, risks a lot by doing what she does.

ETA: oops, should have read the last few posts instead of jumping to answer! anyway, are you absolutely sure you can't get a direct entry midwife to travel to you? some will drive a long ways to help women homebirth.

what I have heard through LLL is that if I wanted a MIDWIFE assisted homebirth, I would have to go about 20 miles east to Minnesota LOL then it would be legal and I could find someone to do it!


----------



## kiahnsmum

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kelseybelle*
uuuggghhh. sorry, I really needed to vent! Back to finishing reading all of these posts!

Feels good to get it off your chest doesnt it i know how you feel my MIL is totally infuriating too!


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## chitai

Just posting to pat myself on the back for actually reading this whole thread... now I finally have someone to blame when I fail out of grad school :LOL

Honestly, well done mamas... I can't believe you managed not to beat some of these offenders to a pulp (with your educated words, of course!)...


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## alybeans

Today we went to a BBQ and several people asked me why I didn't bring a playpen for Aly to play in while we were outside







I certainly wouldn't want to play in a cage while everyone else was having a good time, why would subject my child to that!!! People are so weird!!


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## RedWine

In the first few days postpartum (I was in a hospital), I always slept with dd and I naked, her against my chest. A nurse came in one morning and said in a very snippy tone, "you'd better dress that baby -- babies hate to be naked."


----------



## pjlioness

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RedWine*
"...babies hate to be naked."

Only if they're in lonely plastic boxes...errrr, bassinets.


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## heathenmom

Y'all have no idea how much I've missed the Mothering boards the last 4 days, and how badly I've needed some support.







:

Background: DH, dd & I spent from Friday until this afternoon with MIL & my dh's 14-going-on-30 niece (K), helping MIL move. Normally I love MIL, but she & K drove me absolutely batty this weekend over the baby. Keep in mind that MIL has seen DD only once since the day she was born, and she's now 9 months old; K had never seen her. DD's cutting at least 3 teeth, going through her 2nd bout of separation anxiety, was constipated, and we were in completely foreign surroundings. Normally, she's a VERY outgoing, happy baby, but given the circumstances, I thought it was reasonable that she was a little crabby and clingy.

So, all that being said ... all I heard all FREAKING weekend was how spoiled dd is, how I'm going to make her into a clingy child because I don't just hand her over to other people and walk away, even though she's screaming hysterically, etc., etc., etc. ...









K: But I'm CPR-certified ... I babysit all the time ... I even babysit a girl that calls me mama (don't even get me started on that one ...).







When dh & I were going out to visit some friends in the area & planned to be gone for at least 6 hrs., K *begged* me to leave dd behind ... even though I literally could not leave the room for more than a minute without dd falling apart. When I didn't answer, she just smirked at me and said, "You just can't do it, can you?"
















WHY do people act like I'm coddling an 18-y/o? She's a BABY?

I finally sat K down and said, LOOK ... I understand that your experience is different, but babies this age are *supposed* to be attached to their parents. Yes, this behavior would be weird if we were talking about a 10-y/o -- but we're NOT.

Seriously, if I had to fight that battle every day, I'd have to cuss at somebody. It wore me out.


----------



## William's Mom

heathenmom, I completely relate!


----------



## WinterBaby

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zakers_mama*
what I have heard through LLL is that if I wanted a MIDWIFE assisted homebirth, I would have to go about 20 miles east to Minnesota LOL then it would be legal and I could find someone to do it!

Keep in mind that midwives assist women in homebirths even where their status is illegal, but they're not listed in the phonebook or working out of a doctor's office, generally. And 20 miles is also a reasonable distance for a midwife to travel, you wouldn't need to travel to birth, if you'd rather a licensed one out of minnesota







(But ignore us if a homebirth isn't actually your thing, lol)


----------



## Einhorn

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Belle*
Fortunately we knew bad advice when we heard it so that was one we ignored.

That reminded me of one from DS#1's birth -- The ped. in the nursery who checked him out for discharge made sure we knew that "we needed to have 6-8 wet diapers a day from day 1 if we were BFing or we needed to supplement with formula."

Not only did I know that was bad advice, as soon as she left, the nurse pretty much said we should ignore it (and went over the wet/dirty diaper info sheet that's in the handout from the hostpital that said 1 each wet/dirty in first 24 hours, etc.), and when my midwife came in to go over my at-home care sheet the first thing she said was "I hear you're already going against Dr's orders." with a smile and reinfoced the right info, not the bad.

This was the same midwife that helped us work out the perinatologist's testing requests to our satsifaction -- we'd beein leaning towards a home birth, even though we knew it was safer for DS to be born at a medical facility, because of the tests he wanted to check the DS platelets before birth (I have ITP, and there's no _safe_ way to tell what the baby's platelet count is before birth -- statistically it's safest just to have a vaginal birth with no testing).

She then proceded to tell us about checking herself and 2 _hour_ old daughter (not her first) out of the hospital when they insisted her DD had to be in the nursery (a different hospital in a different state). Which explained why she was so willing to go to the extra effort she did to help us out -- she'd been there! Although all the CNMs were great and a big help.

We were so lucky our hospital has a CNM programm and a free breastfeeding clinic staffed with IBCLCs -- even though we didn't really need help it was great to be able to stop by for free weight checks for DS#1 -- with DS#2 we only have stopped by once, he's so chubby we know he's eating well (and having tons of wet/dirty diapers







, and it's a lot easier to not worry with the 2nd one!


----------



## kelseybelle

Quote:

The nurse asked, "Why is this baby naked?!" (in a very accusatory tone).
Hey that happened to me! Only, it was b/c ds hadn't nursed in close to 6hrs and so we stripped him so that he'd be encouraged to nurse and he was right next to me the whole time and wasn't cold and right when he had finished and I'd put him in my lap to cover up the nurse walked in and almost yelled at me...then she snatched him up and took his temp..."hmm, he's only 1 degree below where he should be, but you need to be more careful!" Like I had no idea what I was doing. I felt so guilty after that, like I'd done something wrong...
grrr.


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## kater07

Not Mine...

Yesterday, a friend of mine was at the pharmacy and was told by an elderly lady that her DD is so fat that she's going to die when she's 13.


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## Aura_Kitten

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kater07*
Not Mine...

Yesterday, a friend of mine was at the pharmacy and was told by an elderly lady that her DD is so fat that she's going to die when she's 13.


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## reilly's momma

why is it that complete strangers have the need to, well to _lecture_ us on our child rearing? baby's too fat, too skinny, too hairy, too bald, too old to still be nursing, too old too be carried, too excited, too sleepy, too fill-in-the-blank, all implying that we are doing something wrong.

I for one, am sick of it. I'm lucky that I've received almost no crazy comments personally, or have just corrected people who did seem well-meaning in their poor advice, for the most part anyway, but seriously, I'm really shocked at many of the comments on this thread, and pissed off because many of you mommas have looked back & laughed or dismissed them, but they upset you at the time, and were completely uncalled for. And how many new moms who don't know better might listen to some of this poor advice, especially if it does come from someone they know? That irks me the most, that this bad advice, in some cases, is so prevalent that it's accepted as fact by a large segment of our society.

OK, sorry, rant over now.


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## addiesmom

When DD was only a few weeks old, a repair man from a window company came to our house to make adjustments to some newly installed windows. He was here about an hour and a half when he turned to me and asked if I was going to hold DD until she was 18. Unfortunately, I didn't have a comeback I was so taken aback.


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## ladybugchild77

Living in the middle of nowhere, IL, I have heard it all BUT the most interesting thing that happened to me was letting my dd nurse CONSTANTLY (!!!)







for 6 hours the day after she was born to "help my milk come in"...It wokred but it also left me blistered, bruised, severly cracked, and bleeding. The same nurse told me this was "normal" and breastfeeding is SUPPOSED to do this!!! THREE LACTATION CONSULTANTS and three months later we finally fixed that horrible little piece of advice...


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## Mandamama

Last summer near the end of my pregnancy I stopped into my favorite coffee shop for a glass of iced tea. The waitress said, "That has caffeine in it; I don't think you're supposed to have that." She gave me a disapproving look, like she wasn't going to serve me the tea! Eight months pregnant and at the end of my tope, I smiled and said "I only have a glass of this once a week--it's a great hangover remedy!"

I felt bad afterward.


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## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mandamama*
Last summer near the end of my pregnancy I stopped into my favorite coffee shop for a glass of iced tea. The waitress said, "That has caffeine in it; I don't think you're supposed to have that." She gave me a disapproving look, like she wasn't going to serve me the tea! Eight months pregnant and at the end of my tope, I smiled and said "I only have a glass of this once a week--it's a great hangover remedy!"

I felt bad afterward.

:LOL While it's nice that she was concerned, it's really none of her business. Every once in a while my "funny b*tch" side comes out and I'll say something like what you said... sure, it's not polite, but it lets people know they're overstepping their bounds.


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## Corvus

Mandamama, I had a similar experience with a friend of a friend. I walked into an espresso bar one afternoon to get a cup of coffee: half regular and half decaf. I was at the end of pregnancy, not sleeping well, and sometimes needed an afternoon boost to stay awake at work. My midwife knew I was doing this and was fine with it, as long as I didn't do it more than a couple times a week.

So anyway, while at the espresso bar, my friend walks in with her friend, who has a new baby (her first). She says to me, "You're drinking coffee?" in a VERY snotty disapproving tone.

I kind of stammered something about half-decaf, my midwife knows, bla bla bla. I thought it was incredibly rude. I had met this person only twice before, and very briefly each time. She was way out of line.


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## Mummoth

Me too! DH & I went out for coffee one night & the woman behind the counter refused to serve me! When I told DH, he went & got it for me.


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## hopefulfaith

During this last trimester, I've been drinking 1 cup of half reg/half decaf once a week....and it makes me so happy!!! My MW doesn't mind a bit. So, I'm in the hospital cafeteria at work getting the coffee and this administrator (not a nurse, not a provider, not a medical professional at all) behind me begins to lecture me as it sounds like all of you had been. I immediately got defensive and felt like a Bad Prenatal Mommy and began rambling about how it was half/half...once a week...allowed by MW... etc. - she didn't listen, and walked off with her head held high, convinced she had saved another baby.

Wish I hadn't allowed her to make me feel rotten...and absolutely love the hangover line!! Way to go!!!!!


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## heathenmom

: I'm starting to feel AWFUL about the fact that I drank a cup of fully-caffinated coffee almost *every single day* of my pregnancy. The horror of it all.









I'm glad nobody tried to lecture me over it; they'd probably have been wearing my cup as a sassy little hat. Considering my normal amount was about a pot a day, I thought I did pretty darn good.


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## shalena

I went to pick up chinese food when I was about 7 months pregnant and the lady serving me refused to give me packets of soy sauce for my rice. She went on and on about the salt.


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## indiana ima

wow, people can be just so astonishingly patronizing! it's just . . . amazing . . .


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## ERSsmom

ITA. I wonder if any of those people who said things to you guys formula fed their babies _out of choice_.


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## pjlioness

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ERSsmom*
I wonder if any of those people who said things to you guys formula fed their babies *out of choice*.

Now, now, that's just being snarky.














heeheehee


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## ERSsmom

Your right....I'm sorry







.


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## hopefulfaith

Don't be too sorry. It was funny. :LOL
I admit I thought nasty things about this lady for a few days...and okay, they still pop into my head sometimes when I see her!


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## kater07

FTR, it's perfectly ok (according to the books I've read, the MWs I've seen and the internet) to have 2 cups of caffienated coffee every day during pregnancy. There's surely no reason to be concerned over 1/2 and 1/2 coffee or even a couple cups a week.


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## Shaunam

Well, I've read all 70-something pages of this thread and I think I may have a unique one.

My sister is pregnant with her first baby. Me, her, and our mom were sitting around talking and she said "Thank god I'm having a girl. I don't think I could handle a boy." I asked what she meant by that (slightly offended because I have a boy) and she said, "Well, there's not much difference when they're little, but those teenage years are what I'm afraid of." She has a teenage stepdaughter (who is VERY challenging, if you ask me) so I didn't understand why she thought a boy would be harder. I asked why specifically. She replied.....

Are you ready?

"Well, boys MASTURBATE and stuff!"

I laughed hysterically and told her, "You DO know girls do that too, don't you!" She got all red-faced and embarassed and went on to tell some story about how her friend caught her teenage son masturbating and it was oh-so-traumatizing.

I mean, I KNOW she knows girls do it too. At least I think she does. Well, if she didn't, she knows now!!! It just seemed like a really irrational reason to think boys are more difficult than girls.

:LOL


----------



## ERSsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hopefulfaith*
Don't be too sorry. It was funny. :LOL
I admit I thought nasty things about this lady for a few days...and okay, they still pop into my head sometimes when I see her!









:LOL


----------



## ERSsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shaunam*
"Well, boys MASTURBATE and stuff!"

That is too funny!! While catching my son masturbating might be embarrassing, I don't believe it will be traumatizing and certainly for his sake, I will try my hardest to not appear traumatized. In fact, I would probably just try to sneak away without him noticing and make a huge mental note to knock before entering!!


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## Charles Baudelaire

Good news for your friend: she doesn't HAVE to wait until the teen years to catch her daughter playin' the happy game with Mrs. Fun Spot. Little kids masturbate too!! NEWS FLASH!

Now, where's my copy of Cyndi Lauper's "She Bop" when you really need it?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shaunam*
Well, I've read all 70-something pages of this thread and I think I may have a unique one.

My sister is pregnant with her first baby. Me, her, and our mom were sitting around talking and she said "Thank god I'm having a girl. I don't think I could handle a boy." I asked what she meant by that (slightly offended because I have a boy) and she said, "Well, there's not much difference when they're little, but those teenage years are what I'm afraid of." She has a teenage stepdaughter (who is VERY challenging, if you ask me) so I didn't understand why she thought a boy would be harder. I asked why specifically. She replied.....

Are you ready?

"Well, boys MASTURBATE and stuff!"

I laughed hysterically and told her, "You DO know girls do that too, don't you!" She got all red-faced and embarassed and went on to tell some story about how her friend caught her teenage son masturbating and it was oh-so-traumatizing.

I mean, I KNOW she knows girls do it too. At least I think she does. Well, if she didn't, she knows now!!! It just seemed like a really irrational reason to think boys are more difficult than girls.

:LOL


----------



## Mummoth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ERSsmom*
That is too funny!! While catching my son masturbating might be embarrassing, I don't believe it will be traumatizing and certainly for his sake, I will try my hardest to not appear traumatized. In fact, I would probably just try to sneak away without him noticing and make a huge mental note to knock before entering!!

I hope I have the fore-thought to get him a lock for his door before that ever happens!


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## BlueStateMama

Yeah, I've gotten the "Is she a good baby?" question too (constantly) I usually say either, "Well, she hasn't robbed any liquor stores yet." or "Yes, we've managed to keep her from joining a gang." I'd love to just say, "Actually, she's a ROTTEN baby!! You want her??"


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## gmcriss

"Well, she hasn't robbed any liquor stores yet." or "Yes, we've managed to keep her from joining a gang."

:LOL


----------



## ERSsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mummoth*
I hope I have the fore-thought to get him a lock for his door before that ever happens!

True true.


----------



## RedPony

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heathenmom*







: I'm starting to feel AWFUL about the fact that I drank a cup of fully-caffinated coffee almost *every single day* of my pregnancy. The horror of it all.









I'm glad nobody tried to lecture me over it; they'd probably have been wearing my cup as a sassy little hat. Considering my normal amount was about a pot a day, I thought I did pretty darn good.









:LOL Amen! When the day comes for me, coffee is about the LAST thing I intend to give up, and I don't care who knows it.


----------



## Kateana

I can't remember the exact details of what my mother said tonight, but something along the lines of AP will ruin my (future) baby b/c s/he won't know how to play alone if I take a shower or something. And "kids need to be taught to play".







To her credit (if you'd call it that), she has no concept of attachment, as she moved across the country when I was 2. Anyways, I really love how she pulls "facts" straight out of her







. It really makes me laugh sometimes.


----------



## captain optimism

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RedPony*
:LOL Amen! When the day comes for me, coffee is about the LAST thing I intend to give up, and I don't care who knows it.









I just want to warn you...my friend who is a coffee addict has been totally nauseated by the smell of coffee for her whole pregnancy to date! She can't even be in the same room with coffee!

I gave up coffee in the first trimester in order to reduce my miscarriage risk, and then gradually reintroduced it so that I could stop falling asleep at my desk at work. By the 3rd trimester I gave it up again--heartburn. Ewwwww.

OTOH, if you had told me I would be asking my dh to buy me a six-pack of beer, I would have thought you had lost your mind. Yet that I was what I did when my ds was four months old and I was trying to keep my breastmilk supply up for pumping at work. When I said "will you get me a six pack of beer" my dh said "What did you say? I thought you asked me to get you a beer!" He sincerely thought he had misheard me!


----------



## heathenmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *captain optimism*
I just want to warn you...my friend who is a coffee addict has been totally nauseated by the smell of coffee for her whole pregnancy to date! She can't even be in the same room with coffee!

I went through that in early pregnancy, too, but by the 2nd tri I couldn't stay awake without a cuppa.


----------



## RedPony

Thanks for the warning!







I actually wouldn't mind that, knowing that my coffee is such a big addiction for me. While I'm at it, do you suppose I could be turned off of chocolate, too? Or really, anything sweet? :LOL What I wouldn't give for my massive, uncontrollable sweet tooth to crawl off and die somewhere.


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## peaceful_mama

In response to all the caffiene comments:: I will never forget being at work preggo (approximately 3 maybe beginning of 4th mo.)......we had a potluck and all there was to drink was soda, several kinds, but all caffinated except for MAYBE some caff free diet Coke. (I had bottles of water with me but I had ONE left and was saving it for the afternoon. School, only water in the classrooms ya know.)

So I make myself a plate and I get a SMALL styrofoam cup of Coke. (like MAYBE 6 oz worth) One of the teachers proceeds to lecture me on the caffiene! and I said 'well, ya know, my doc says (and everything I'd read said) up to 3 cups of coffee a day is OK, caffiene wise.' She said she'd read it certainly was NOT and said she'd give me what she read..........never did. I also never heard a word about my caff. consumption again.
(another also-pregnant teacher told me when she left 'eh, just ignore that.'

My other option was caff-free diet, and I think aspartame is potentially MUCH worse for anybody than caffiene. I absolutely REFUSED to touch that stuff while I was pregnant, and was pretty shocked that my borderline-g-diabetic friend was told by her doc she could drink it instead of regular.......how about just water with lemon for some flavor then??

I *HATE* when someone thinks just because they've got more education than you, they automatically know more on any subject than you...yeah, the teachers I work with know more about theories of education, etc. but I would guess I have put just as much or more research into the parenting decisions I've made, especially after the *disaster* that resulted from thinking I was prepared to bf by reading mainstream articles, going to the hospital class, and trusting that the hospital staff would support me and help me to do the best for my baby. Boy was I WRONG WRONG WRONG..........the one good thing that came out of it is that I now read anything I can find on things I feel strongly about, so that I know what to do and can prove that I've made an informed decision when necessary.


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## boingo82

ME: I think it's funny how you were so strict with healthy food and sugar when I was growing up, but {my younger siblings} eat all sorts of "bad" food.

MY MOM: Well, I was trying to be a good mother, but to be honest, I've given up.


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## SamI'mNot

My mother told me a week ago that now that I've started dd on solids I need to wean her off the breast and give her a bottle from now on. WTF??!!?!? I thought my own mother would be able to make more sense than this. I guess not...


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## ramlita

I have been very lucky as far as comments go... I've gotten ONE dirty look while NIPing, and that is it.
Oh... except, after DD's homebirth, a SIL (and mother of three) asked me, earnest and deadpan,
"Didn't that hurt?" (meaning childbirth)









What I came to post was about a friend's birth-
everything was progressing normally, but as my friend was pushing, she heard her medwife casually remark to a nurse, "I haven't clipped her yet..." and soon proceeded to slice into her, creating an episiotomy that caused her pain for about seven months.








Routine cutting is bad enough, but it's the attitude, the casualness about it, the crass wording that haunt me.


----------



## ramlita

Oh!
I meant to say that I've been sitting here reading this thread for the last week as I'm recovering from this mysterious, disabling pain I've been having... it's been a terrific distraction!
I wish I had taken notes- I've had thoughts to add to so many things, but got obsessed with reading the whole thing before posting.

An addition to the Good Baby/Bad Baby saga:

The comment that made my mom decide, once-and-for-all, to homebirth when she was pregnant with me (I was her first baby):
She took a tour of the maternity ward at her local hospital, and as they walked by the rooms for the nursery and the NICU, the nurse said,
"This is where we put the Good babies, and
This is where we put the Bad babies."

She tells me she thought to herself,
"You aint touching MY baby!!" and walked out.

A strange/funny addition: after I was born, my placenta didn't come out for long enough that the midwife (actually a L/D nurse who had driven 8 hours to attend my birth!) got nervous and transferred us to the hospital. When we arrived, they naturally figured babies go in nurseries, but then they didn't want to put me anywhere where there were other babies, since I had already been outside the hospital and was therefore "tainted" or something... it caused a big ruckus among the staff, trying to figure out where to stash me! :LOL


----------



## ERSsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ramlah*
When we arrived, they naturally figured babies go in nurseries, but then they didn't want to put me anywhere where there were other babies, since I had already been outside the hospital and was therefore "tainted" or something... it caused a big ruckus among the staff, trying to figure out where to stash me! :LOL









What? That has to be one of the dumbest things I have ever heard. As if those who birth in a hospital haven't been outside of a hospital before going into labor? Just goes to show that hospital staffs cannot do or accept anything easily that doesn't fit in their routine







.


----------



## Mummoth

When I was 1 year old, I had a seizure & was hospitalized for a few days while they tried to figure out what caused it (they never did) My mom was 9 months pregnant & had my sister the day after my seisure, so we were ALL in the hospital! They wouldn't let my mom see me because they were afraid I had something that she could catch & pass along to my sister and all the rest of the babies in the nursery but my dad, aunt grandmother, everyone else.... were allowed to go back & forth between me & my mom & sister. Somehow they won't pass the supposed (never found) virus along, but my mom will?
*Then* they finally agreed to let my mom see me & they brought her to my room, held me up to the window so she could look at me & I saw her & started bawling. She had thought they were going to let her *visit* me, not just *look* at me through glass!! She didn't ask to see me again after that. She was afraid to be pushy with them because she thought they might be less nice to the baby with the mom who made a fuss.


----------



## mollyeilis

Originally Posted by ramlah
When we arrived, they naturally figured babies go in nurseries, but then they didn't want to put me anywhere where there were other babies, since I had already been outside the hospital and was therefore "tainted" or something... it caused a big ruckus among the staff, trying to figure out where to stash me!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ERSsmom*
What? That has to be one of the dumbest things I have ever heard. As if those who birth in a hospital haven't been outside of a hospital before going into labor? Just goes to show that hospital staffs cannot do or accept anything easily that doesn't fit in their routine







.


It actually happens often with homebirth babies when there's a transport. They just think the babies are dirty in some way.

And, in fact, my baby, who did end up arriving in a hospital (evil medwife who gave up on me) was called, I kid you not, *a biohazard* because we hadn't bathed him yet.

(just in case there are comments about blood and such, these nurses weren't licking him or anything; when they felt the need to touch him they were gloved as they should be...they need to either trust the gloves or get a new profession)


----------



## pjlioness

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pjlioness*
Now, now, that's just being snarky.














heeheehee


Quote:


Originally Posted by *ERSsmom*
Your right....I'm sorry







.

Pease don't be sorry...I agree with you completely...was being mischievous myself.


----------



## ERSsmom

I knew you were







. My sarcasm didn't show in the post







.


----------



## ERSsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mollyeilis*
It actually happens often with homebirth babies when there's a transport. They just think the babies are dirty in some way.

And, in fact, my baby, who did end up arriving in a hospital (evil medwife who gave up on me) was called, I kid you not, *a biohazard* because we hadn't bathed him yet.

Sigh...That just doesn't make any sense to me. When I had my son, they didn't sterilize me, my dh, my mom, my friend, or the 20 odd visitors I had including a 4 mo old. What makes them think a mom or a newborn coming from outside the hospital is any more of a health risk than all of those people?


----------



## Lousli

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ramlah*
She took a tour of the maternity ward at her local hospital, and as they walked by the rooms for the nursery and the NICU, the nurse said,
"This is where we put the Good babies, and
This is where we put the Bad babies."

OMG. I can't tell you how absolutely horrifying that comment is to me, as the mother of a NICU baby. My poor little kiddo, as if it was her fault that she was born premature!


----------



## ramlita

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lousli*
OMG. I can't tell you how absolutely horrifying that comment is to me, as the mother of a NICU baby. My poor little kiddo, as if it was her fault that she was born premature!









I can only imagine!








And to think, the woman thought she was being cute or witty or something!









I'm so proud of my mom for walking out on all of that!
Though I guess I turned out to be such a Bad Baby, they didn't even _have_ a receptacle for me!


----------



## Aura_Kitten

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mollyeilis*
my baby, who did end up arriving in a hospital (evil medwife who gave up on me) was called, I kid you not, *a biohazard* because we hadn't bathed him yet.
)









actually one of the first questions my MIL asked us after we had our little one (she's an OB nurse) was, "have you washed her off yet??!"


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *klothos*







actually one of the first questions my MIL asked us after we had our little one (she's an OB nurse) was, "have you washed her off yet??!"









LOL that just seems so crazy to me. My first reaction is "why on earth would you wash a newborn off, they're not dirty?!" :LOL DP did wash dd's hair an hour or so after birth, but she didn't get a full sponge bath for, gosh, over a week. Why wash away that yummy new baby smell?


----------



## Aura_Kitten

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CryPixie83*
LOL that just seems so crazy to me. My first reaction is "why on earth would you wash a newborn off, they're not dirty?!" :LOL DP did wash dd's hair an hour or so after birth, but she didn't get a full sponge bath for, gosh, over a week. Why wash away that yummy new baby smell?









:LOL









i tried to explain the idea of massaging vernix into baby skin to her, but she just didn't "get it."









babies are STERILE when they come out (as long as the mama isn't infected with anything) ~ it's AFTER they come out that they are bombarded with bacteria. (also why it's so important for a baby to nurse right away ~ to get all that colostrum in them...)


----------



## kiahnsmum

My ds was bathed before we left the hospital, they told me he could become sick if he wasnt cleaned and that i had to regularly bathe him when we were at home. After being at home for 2 days my milk came in and i was seriously exhausted but i dutifully started to run a bath my mother asked what i was doing after i explained what i had been told she said that was the most ridiculous thing she had heard and it wasnt like he had been playing outside or had bad B.O! :LOL

I didnt bathe dd until after her umbilical cord dropped off







:


----------



## janerose

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kiahnsmum*
My ds was bathed before we left the hospital, they told me he could become sick if he wasnt cleaned and that i had to regularly bathe him when we were at home. After being at home for 2 days my milk came in and i was seriously exhausted but i dutifully started to run a bath my mother asked what i was doing after i explained what i had been told she said that was the most ridiculous thing she had heard and it wasnt like he had been playing outside or had bad B.O! :LOL

I didnt bathe dd until after her umbilical cord dropped off







:

Don't feel bad. We didn't bathe Emi for...oh...must have been at least 2 weeks? It wasn't right away, that's for sure. I know there are lots of mamas here who went longer than that :LOL I did sponge bathed her butt every now and then and her face. We (and our AWESOME AP'ing nurse actually) gave her a *very* light going over her first evening. Mostly to get off some dried blood & other chunky stuff that was dried in her hair, neck folds, etc. Not giving her the routine bath at birth was actually part of our birth plan. Then again, we birthed at an excellent hospital birthing center which was very accepting of all our "different" ideas.









Just to stay on topic though, the dumbest thing said to me in the hospital came from the 1 male nurse. He was excellent during labor, but the next day told me that "There's no need to nurse that baby longer than 10-15 minutes on either side. She's not getting anything after that long & it's just making you sore."







: I actually liked this nurse, but he was off the mark on this one, and the other nurses quickly corrected him. Actually, I believe the next nurse's comment was "When do you think the last time he breastfed a baby was?"









Holly


----------



## aliaspice

When I was pregnant a co-worker told me not to go into a tanning bed because it would "boil" the baby. I told her that no, the reason is that b/c you're not supposed to get your body that overheated, esp in your first trimester, and she said, no, it will physically boil your baby. She also told me to get rid of my cat because it would smother the baby. Some people are idiots.


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aliaspice*
When I was pregnant a co-worker told me not to go into a tanning bed because it would "boil" the baby. I told her that no, the reason is that b/c you're not supposed to get your body that overheated, esp in your first trimester, and she said, no, it will physically boil your baby. She also told me to get rid of my cat because it would smother the baby. Some people are idiots.

Oh good grief. Are people really that ignorant? Boil your baby...sheesh.

And Poor cats







Can you imagine how many cats have been abandoned because of the fear that they will smother a baby?







:


----------



## kater07

On Saturday at a baby shower, the pregnant mom said she needed bottles to give the baby water. I told her that by the time the baby needed water, he'd be drinking from a sippy cup. TWO different moms jumped on me saying that breastfed babies must be given bottles of water. I just gave up and told the mom to read her breastfeeding books before believing any of it.

One old lady said the used to give babies a mix of butter and sugar in a net to keep them from crying (before pacis).


----------



## gmcriss

Butter and Sugar--That sounds disgusting! Some people are just so uneducated on things.

My neighbor asked why I wasn't giving Rice cereal. I said because it is gross. He said, "Oh, you just add sugar to it." Apparently that is what he did for his daughter and she "just loved it!"

Also, when I was at my peds. office, he told me that the patient in the next room, was giving her 3 month old 2% milk because formula was so expensive and she doesn't breastfeed







Poor baby.


----------



## EnviroBecca

Quote:

A strange/funny addition: after I was born, my placenta didn't come out for long enough that the midwife (actually a L/D nurse who had driven 8 hours to attend my birth!) got nervous and transferred us to the hospital. When we arrived, they naturally figured babies go in nurseries, but then they didn't want to put me anywhere where there were other babies, since I had already been outside the hospital and was therefore "tainted" or something... it caused a big ruckus among the staff, trying to figure out where to stash me!
My grandma gave birth to her third child in a supply room in the hospital, where the nurses had stashed her (in a wheelchair) because she wouldn't stop insisting that the baby was coming RIGHT NOW. When they finally came back, they were annoyed at her for giving birth in an unauthorized location and quarantined my newborn aunt; even grandma wasn't allowed to see her for 48 hours! She was pumping her milk and having it taken to the baby by reluctant nurses who kept telling her, "Nobody breastfeeds anymore."







:


----------



## ramlita

Quote:


Originally Posted by *EnviroBecca*
My grandma gave birth to her third child in a supply room in the hospital, where the nurses had stashed her (in a wheelchair) because she wouldn't stop insisting that the baby was coming RIGHT NOW. When they finally came back, they were annoyed at her for giving birth in an unauthorized location and quarantined my newborn aunt










Did this happen in a hospital,
or some kind of evil crooked mental institution??????
That might be the worst (best) post on this thread yet!


----------



## Ellp

2% milk for a 3mo old??! Isn't that dangerous?? The baby won't be getting all the nutrients it needs, right?


----------



## gmcriss

Ellaine--Yes that is very dangerous. Not only will baby not get enough nutrients, dairy is one of the biggest allergens for children. The Ped. said it could do tons of damage to babies kidneys, etc. Why don't people become educated about things???


----------



## ramlita

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gmcriss*
Also, when I was at my peds. office, he told me that the patient in the next room, was giving her 3 month old 2% milk because formula was so expensive and she doesn't breastfeed







Poor baby.

That is so inappropriate that he told you that!!!!
What happened to confidentiality?

I sure hope he put some effort into educating her about how troublesome that will be for her baby


----------



## gmcriss

Yes, he spent lots of time with her. That is why he was 30 min late for our appt. He told us this because he knows that we switched peds because our last one was habitually late.


----------



## peacefulmom

ok i just put this in parents as partners too but here fits more ...yesturday hubbie and I were shopping for my maternity swimsuit..I am 4 months with our 3rd and i was trying it on he said I remember when yuor boobs looked like this..and actually pushed them up...







: I was so screaming mad..then he said ok you show me what they looked like when we met...ok I have been bfing for 4 straight years..probably 7 when done...things can go south..what a *** hole


----------



## RedPony

Quote:


Originally Posted by *peacefulmom*
ok i just put this in parents as partners too but here fits more ...yesturday hubbie and I were shopping for my maternity swimsuit..I am 4 months with our 3rd and i was trying it on he said I remember when yuor boobs looked like this..and actually pushed them up...







: I was so screaming mad..then he said ok you show me what they looked like when we met...ok I have been bfing for 4 straight years..probably 7 when done...things can go south..what a *** hole









I agree.







: How crass. Sounds exactly like something one of my brothers would say.


----------



## Parthenia

: My dh has said similar things, but it's always with a lacivious smile on his face. The farther south they travel and the fuller they get, the happier he seems to be. The man just loves big floppy functional breasts.







:

Maybe your dh meant it as a sort of compliment? If not, I'd be pissed, too.


----------



## rachelmarie

I was catching up on this thread before going to lunch with a friend, so when our waitress made dumb commenet, my first thought was to post it here!

I ordered cheesecake for dessert and my friend didn't order any, so the waitress brought 2 spoons. She said to me, "I gave you 2 spoons so that you can share - with her (meaning my friend) or him (meaning my 5 month old ds!)." I just said thanks and let it be. My friend says to ds, "Do you want your first solid food to be cheesecake?" and we had a good laugh about the whole thing. The thing is, I don't think the waitress was kidding. She probably really thought that I would let him have a taste of it. Geez...


----------



## paquerette

OMG Judesmama! Almost the same thing happened to me yesterday! MIL and I split a piece of the lemon icebox pie at Cracker Barrel







and when the waitress brought it out, she looked at my almost 5 mo DD and said "Ooh, I'll bet somebody's getting a taste of this!" and I'm sitting there thinking yeah, if my milk comes out lemon flavoured in a few hours. I didn't say anything. My baby looks like she could be 7 or 8 mo, and I'll bet most of the babies around here are already tasting that stuff by then.


----------



## Evergreen

:LOL I've noticed that many childless people don't realize how old children actually are. When my dd was 5 months old I was routinely asked if she could walk yet, so maybe she didn't realize how little he is. Not that I would give cheesecake to a one year old, but it isn't totally out of the norm.

But I dont' think she'd need to bring an extra spoon if you were just sharing with your baby :LOL


----------



## EnviroBecca

About my grandma giving birth in the supply closet: It was a hospital, early in the Baby Boom when the maternity ward was very busy, and that was an era when birthing women were very much expected to be quiet and do what the doctors asked. My grandma wasn't that type







but she didn't have the guts to check out right away!

I got the "Are you going to share?" thing just last night, when I bought an Italian ice while carrying my almost-6mo in the sling. I smiled and said, "Oh, I've tried him on a few foods, but he doesn't understand why I'm putting stuff in his mouth!" which is true. What I was thinking, of course, was, "I'm not going to feed him refined sugar and food coloring at this age!" I actually rethought whether *I* should be eating it while BFing...but I already had it in hand, and it looked so cool and yummy...


----------



## Jade2561

When my MIL came to visit my dd was only 2 weeks old and going through a growth spurt (nursing 24/7) the whole time my MIL told me that my milk was "sour" and that if I gave her a bottle with formula and melted cheese, she would be full for at least 5 hours and sleep. OMG! Then she went on to explain that it worked great for her two soon.

Soooo great considering my dh had severe asthma and all kinds of allergies as a baby. And then she went on to talk about all the different formulas they had to switch to because my dh was allergic. It was weird, like she was bragging about it. What an idiot!


----------



## paquerette

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jade2561*
I gave her a bottle with formula and melted cheese,

Formula and MELTED CHEESE!!!







Ugh. Depending on the type of cheese, that could choke a baby, nevermind the digestive/nutritional issues involved.


----------



## findingMYway

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Envision*

I always wonder, why can't people just say "I don't want to breastfeed, that doesn't work for me..." I would have much more respect for their honesty then the idiotic stories they come up with...

Oils









I wonder this too. I think it is because somewhere inside, primally, or sub-conciously or whatever, they know they are not giving a valid excuse and feel somewhat guilty about their decision even if they won't admit it.

My story is, my daughters then 3, 6, and 7 were helping me pick out fruit at the grocery store. No one was tantruming and it was actually ending up a really great grocery trip. This older lady walks up to me and says aren't they just driving you crazy. I used to spank mine when they were acting like that. My mouth just fell open and I couldn't say anything. They were being really great and nice and just helping me so I guess she means if her kids even moved to touch anything.







: I was in shock. She said it so bitterly too.


----------



## rachelmarie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Evergreen*
:LOL I've noticed that many childless people don't realize how old children actually are. When my dd was 5 months old I was routinely asked if she could walk yet, so maybe she didn't realize how little he is. Not that I would give cheesecake to a one year old, but it isn't totally out of the norm.

But I dont' think she'd need to bring an extra spoon if you were just sharing with your baby :LOL

I did wonder if maybe she thought he was old enough to eat solid food. And I'm sure that people around here (or anywhere, for that matter) give their babies tastes of food they shouldn't eat yet. Oh well. I didn't get mad. I just thought it was funny in a dumb way that she thought I would feed my baby something that I probably shouldn't have been eating! :LOL


----------



## kater07

Since DD was born in January, I have been consistently asked at every restaurant if she needs a high chair. Even my ILs have asked once.

Today, I took DD and DS out to lunch with me, and the lady taking our order thought the grilled cheese kids' meal was for my not-yet-5-month-old.


----------



## ramlita

Quote:


Originally Posted by *findingMYway*
I used to spank mine when they were acting like that. My mouth just fell open and I couldn't say anything. They were being really great and nice and just helping me so I guess she means if her kids even moved to touch anything.







: I was in shock. She said it so bitterly too.









Her poor kids!!!


----------



## swebster

so I'm due July 11th and Friday is my last day working. Since about 30 weeks this one older weird woman in my office has been asking me almost daily "are you going on leave yet?" and telling me how nervous she is seeing pregnant women because they could have the baby at any time! She has no kids of her own and obviously believes the tv version of childbirth (water breaks, SPLASH! 10 minutes later baby is born, ta-da!)

well yesterday, she asks again and I tell her Friday is my last day and she does this exagerated sigh of relief and says something like "oh thank goodness, because I don't know anything about delivering babies" (she was completely serious......) I said something snarky like "well, I'm pretty sure that delivering the baby is up to me....as far as I know I can't deligate that particular responsibility....)


----------



## Corvus

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kater07*
Today, I took DD and DS out to lunch with me, and the lady taking our order thought the grilled cheese kids' meal was for my not-yet-5-month-old.









That's funny; lately I get the opposite with my 2.5yo DD (who is tall and very talkative, so most people think she's at least 3yo). The last two times I've taken her out to lunch at this one particular place, the woman at the counter thought either I'd be sharing my sandwich with DD or that DD doesn't eat solids yet or that DD doesn't eat healthy foods. I first ordered my sandwich, and then she gave me a total. I was holding DD in my arms and she had talked to her, so it's not like she didn't see her. I said politely, "I need another sandwich too, for her." "Oh, ok," she said.

I'm pg, and there's no way I'm sharing my sandwich with anyone!







Of course, at this age, DD eats her own sandwich anyway, so I wouldn't be sharing even if I wasn't pg.


----------



## Nora'sMama

Just another story on the wacky formula topic...

My grandma had 4 kids and she BF the first 3, even though it was the 40's/50's and from what I understand formula was "the thing" to do. So yay Grandma.

BUT she had terrible mastitis for months (!) with her 3rd child and decided when the 4th came along that she wouldn't BF. Well, at the hospital they told her to start my newborn uncle off with COW'S MILK! I had to double-check that when my mom told me the story because I thought that couldn't be true, but it is. They apparently told her to see if he would take it and if he would, to forget about formula!









SO, my uncle, who as far as I know is quite healthy and always has been, was fed from day one on cow's milk! (And grandma also added a little KARO SYRUP to it - not sure of the justification for that one!!)

That's not nearly as crazy as melted cheese in the bottle, though. Poor, poor baby!


----------



## kiahnsmum

Since we're on the subject of food I cant believe how many times my dd has been offered candy, one time we were in the department store and they were having some kind of promotion, dd was around 7 months old and in the sling the lady behind the counter went to give her a lollipop and when i said no thank you she gave me the dirtiest look like i was such a cruel mother.


----------



## jayayenay

.


----------



## jayayenay

.


----------



## MontMama

Great to read some food stories while I'm eating dinner (and DS is, too). My aunt was raised on PET milk (evaporated milk in a can) and water. My mother told me a few months ago that my formula wasn't any good, so she should have just given me PET milk, too.

That doesn't make me angry, just very sad at the lack of education prevalent in our society.

The Karo syrup is a stool softener, to prevent the baby from being constipated. I remember making up my brother's bottles; Karo syrup in every one.

He was a terribly colicky child, anyway.

I have an even sadder story, though. I know someone who was on WIC, and she gave her son the formula that they gave her at the WIC place. Well, he got very colicky, so when she made up the formula, she diluted it with Rice Dream. Rather than switch formulas, she just fed him something that was half as nutritious as the formula. The kid is fine, but . . .









My neighbor recommended I give my babies the broth of chicken soup in a bottle to make them strong. A friend of my mother's gave her baby the juice left over from cooking a pot of beans (for the iron).

And the woman who gave her baby Rice Dream . . . she wanted to breastfeed, but when she had trouble trying to do it on her own (with no LC, of course, and she had never heard of LLL), the doctor just shrugged his shoulders and asked her, "What's the big deal? Why do you want to breastfeed?"

Ay, ay.


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tigerpurring*
.

And the woman who gave her baby Rice Dream . . . she wanted to breastfeed, but when she had trouble trying to do it on her own (with no LC, of course, and she had never heard of LLL), the doctor just shrugged his shoulders and asked her, "What's the big deal? Why do you want to breastfeed?"

Ay, ay.









:



















































I wish I could say that made me feel better... Some doctors (and people in general...) are such...idiots.


----------



## catnip

Human babies need more sugar than calves, hence the addition of corn syrup to homemade "formula". Commercial formulas are sweetened too. Dr. Sears's recipe for homemade goat's milk formula includes rice syurp. (he says get infant vitamin drops from your doctor to round it out.) Nowdays corn syrup is not advised for babies under a year due to botulism risk, like honey.


----------



## ramlita

Years ago I was cleaning in my parents' house and stumbled upon a box of old photos, including my dad's baby photos from when he was born in 1948.
With the photos was the bill from the hospital for the birth, and a pamphlet with
Feeding Instructions:

Feed every four hours, alternating between
Milk with Karo syrup, and
Orange Juice!

It makes me think, no wonder CIO has such a wide acceptance in this country- what comfort IS there for a newborn with a belly full of orange juice???


----------



## indiana ima

i believe the OJ was for the vitamin C.


----------



## mommy2julia

My mother told me to give my DD Karo Syup and Water in a bottle when she was 12 weeks old.. DD doesnt take a bottle and BM is a natural laxitive. I had to explain it to my mama and she understands now..
Also, I am going back to school soon,(1 semester left) so DD will have to either take a bottle or sippy cup of BM while I'm gone..and my mom didnt understand that Julia could both be Breastfed and take a bottle..she thought I had to wean.. NO WAY!!!
My childless friend asked me what DD ate when she was 3 weeks old.. I was like Breastmilk, shes like oh she doesnt eat baby food..im like NO..not for at least 5 more months.. Then the same friend tried to give her a french frie when she was 3 months old.. SHE is definatly not babysitting..or even being alone with DD.........GRRRRRRRRR!


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *paquerette*
"Ooh, I'll bet somebody's getting a taste of this!" and I'm sitting there thinking yeah, if my milk comes out lemon flavoured in a few hours.

My cousin says "this'll be coming to you in a few hours, milkman" to her ds when she eats something yummy. :LOL


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kiahnsmum*
Since we're on the subject of food I cant believe how many times my dd has been offered candy, one time we were in the department store and they were having some kind of promotion, dd was around 7 months old and in the sling the lady behind the counter went to give her a lollipop and when i said no thank you she gave me the dirtiest look like i was such a cruel mother.

When I was about 3, I was eating some carob candy around Christmas time in the mall. And we went so I could go sit on Santa's lap (my request). I offered the Santa some of my candy and he gave me a candy cane in return. I have no memory of this story at all, but my mother says he looked at her and waited for her to nod "okay" before he gave me the candy cane.

I think it's just plain rude to give *anything* to a child without the parent's permission.

It just occured to me, lollipops can be choking hazards for small children too. Yeesh, that lady was a real piece of work.


----------



## kiahnsmum

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan*
It just occured to me, lollipops can be choking hazards for small children too. Yeesh, that lady was a real piece of work.

At our church there is a basket of chocolate bars that are given out to anyone who has had a birthday, anniversary etc, most mothers take a chocolate bar on behalf of their babies on their 1st birthdays







but this one mother gave her ds a snickers bar stuck him in a walker and left him at the back of the hall and went and sat down so no one was even watching him


----------



## PapayaMom

while we are talking food. When dd was about 8 months we were at a sandwich place and they offered her (not me) a twizzler, just held the thing out in front of her which of course she grabbed at. This was right after I said how old she was... ugh


----------



## SparklyMoose

My mother in law offered my son chicken bones. He was about 5 weeks at the time, and she was holding him so that I could eat. She had the bones on her plate, and asked him if he wanted one. Even if adults ate chicken bones...I'm veg and my son is going to be raised veg. I'm -pretty- sure she was joking...but I've also told DH that his mother is absolutely not allowed to be alone with him once he starts solids. I'm sure that she'd give him meat just because it's "normal" (she has big issues with things that are "weird"--i.e. not the way she'd do them).

I also don't consider myself AP, but I do hold my son a lot of the time, and he's co-sleeping (8.5 weeks now), and we're BFing. She doesn't understand why I'd want to hold him so much. How about because he likes being held, and if you put him down when he doesn't want to be put down, he fusses like mad? (I have to overcome that myself, though. Sometimes he doesn't WANT to be held and is happier in his bouncy, the swing, or the bed. But it's the last thing I try. It's gotta be frustrating to him, when all he's thinking is "GEEZ, Momma, PUT ME DOWN!" Heh.)


----------



## JamesMama

99% of mine are from my IL's

1. "If he doesn't get bumped around he'll grow up to be a sissy" my DS is less than 5 months old!

2. "If you breastfeed past one year he'll be a sissy" Still not quite sure what the sissy infatuation is

3. "Babies really only need a bath two or three times a week" Ew

4. My DH is diabetic so the dr has told us to do certian things to lower DS's risk of being diabetic as well and we explained this to the IL's (one of them being no cereal/solids till 6 months or later) and my husbands aunt says "Well, there are so many diabetics in this family he's probably going to get diabetes anyway. Nothing you can do about it"


----------



## boingo82

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JamesMama*
..
3. "Babies really only need a bath two or three times a week" Ew
.

: finds out I'm a neglectful mother :


----------



## kamesennin

Quote:


Originally Posted by *boingo82*
: finds out I'm a neglectful mother :

Ummmm, me too....once every week and a half or so. I only give her a bath when she is really stinky, sometimes I just wash her hair. I think giving too many baths to babies will dry out the natural oils in their skin and be more prone to dry skin.


----------



## mollyeilis

"Babies really only need a bath two or three times a week"

I am also in that camp. I like my baby smelling like a baby, rather than Johnson&Johnson's, or, in our personal case, Burt's Bees.









edited to mention I bathe him more often than I anticipated, because he sweats like a wildebeest (my own personal silliness there) in his sleep and while he nurses, and does get a bit sour...
***

That's really too bad they're OK with just letting the next generation be fine with having diabetes without at least trying to change things based on research.







(that didn't come out right)
***

Don't know if this is a good story, but we just visited with my MIL. I know she was concerned when I was pregnant about our baby being fat, because her son has always been a bit overweight, and all her efforts to slim him down as a small child backfired, so he's pretty big now. I'm also overweight right now, and have been since I met her.

However, we had a baby that's tall and slim, and very strong. She should have been glad, but it turns out she's been concerned that he's TOO thin. And since I'm still pretty much exclusively breastfeeding, I'm sure that was getting some negative thoughts put my way.

So on this visit, I went to change his dipe, and during the "dad, look at our cool cloth diapers, these are called fuzzibunz aren't they neat?" moment, I started taking DS's clothes off. Well, as soon as they saw his chubby legs and belly squish, they just went wild over him!

They kept saying "in clothes he looks so thin, but now I see he's healthy"...







They were poking his belly squish and squeezing his thighs (nothing I don't do, of course).

Now I understand all the food-pushing, all the amazement that he's walking and picking things up, and also all the questions about how much he weighs...







:

Well, I'm glad I followed the instinct to show off his semi-squishy body, if only to shush them a bit.


----------



## Charles Baudelaire

Hey, I've got one. I was just at a meeting when the topic of educating my 4-yo dd came up and I mentioned we were homeschooling. When I was asked why, I explained that school wouldn't be a very good fit for my dd because her skills were all over the map, and they really are.

This one guy insisted and insisted that having a wide gap between _any_ skill levels was "a learning disability." I tried delicately to explain (after having tried to avoid sounding like a bragging mom) that no, my dd was pretty significantly _advanced_ in her skills, but that her math wasn't at the same level as her language, and that's pretty common with most people -- Einstein wasn't a great dancer nor Michael Jordan a great mathematician.

He still insists she has a learning disability.

Finally, I had to come out and specifically say what she can do and that in order to be at the same grade level for her age, she'd have to regress a decent amount in _both_ subjects.

"So she's autistic," he said, looking at my kid who was busy playing with her friend W. and laughing.

"Uh...no. No, not really," I said.

"Well," he said, "Just wait till she's six or seven. Then her learning disability will show up then."







:


----------



## Charles Baudelaire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pbandj*
Ummmm, me too....once every week and a half or so. I only give her a bath when she is really stinky, sometimes I just wash her hair. I think giving too many baths to babies will dry out the natural oils in their skin and be more prone to dry skin.

I totally agree! Besides, it's not like they work up a good, stanky case of raunchy B.O. from working outside!


----------



## kiahnsmum

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JamesMama*
3. "Babies really only need a bath two or three times a week" Ew


Check out the previous page or the one before, theres many of us out there who dont bath our wee ones regularly.
Our bathroom is freezing and its the middle of winter here so its once a week for my kids!







:


----------



## MelissaEvans

Quote:

bathe him more often than I anticipated, because he sweats like a wildebeest (my own personal silliness there) in his sleep and while he nurses, and does get a bit sour...
DH swears DS doesn't just sweat, he pees out his ear. =)


----------



## cinnamonamon

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MelissaEvans*
DH swears DS doesn't just sweat, he pees out his ear. =)

...mine pees IN his ear

:LOL


----------



## Mummoth

I've got one! I called my grandparents yesterday to tell them what I'd spent DD's birthday money on. Somehow we got started on discipline... it started out pretty good, with us agreeing that time outs aren't the ideal way to go about things. I told him that we usually try to go with logical consequences & he told me that spanking is better. I didn't want to get into a big thing with him, so I just said "Oh, my kids are too little for that" Silly me for not knowing that 3 1/2 year olds and *just* turned 1 year olds *are* old enough for a spanking







Apparently, you don't hit them hard enough to hurt them, just their 'little pride'... and it works better if you do it infront of company, because it embarrases them







:

I knew I'd never spank when my mom told me about one of my cousins' first spankings. There are 3 kids in the family: a girl & teo boys. When the youngest boy was spanked for the first time, the older kids were both really upset by it. The older brother _attacked_ his dad, and the sister went to the little brother & comforted him. My mom & their mom think it's a cute, funny little story.


----------



## rzberrymom

MIL doesn't feel comfortable criticizing DH and I about our parenting, so she talks to the baby directly about her concerns.









MIL is NOT happy about the slings and other baby carriers--is horribly concerned about DD being "squished" in there.

So, whenever DD naps in her sling, she stretches when she wakes up and we take her out. Every time this would happen, MIL would say to DD "Oh, you poor thing! You want to stretch so you can grow! You need to stretchy stretch so you can grow!"

After listening to this about 10 times, DH finally said "Uh, mom, I hate to break it to you, but babies grow through cell division, not by stretching..."

She never said it again.

But, now everytime we see someone stretch, DH or I mumble "hmm, they must be growing..."


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rzberrymom*

After listening to this about 10 times, DH finally said "Uh, mom, I hate to break it to you, but babies grow through cell division, not by stretching..."

She never said it again.

But, now everytime we see someone stretch, DH or I mumble "hmm, they must be growing..."

:LOL That is hilarious!







to you DH


----------



## Thursday Girl

my sister said that once babies are 3 months old they shouldn't be breastfed in public so i said "uh meredith they aren't supposed to eat solids until they're 6 months" so the she said they could be breastfed in public til then but after htat they need to eat something else. (she also says they should be weaned by 8-12 months) oh and she handed my dd oh 3-4 months old a full grape, and a steak knife!!! oh and choclate cake when she was 9 months old!!

can you belive i let her babysit? ( I just gave her dog human food and she flipped, so i told her if she gives my baby that stuff I was going to feed her dog a whole package of bacon :LOL ) plus she has recently gone on a health kick so she doens't even have anything bad for her around.

Courtney


----------



## kiahnsmum

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mummoth*
Silly me for not knowing that 3 1/2 year olds and *just* turned 1 year olds *are* old enough for a spanking







Apparently, you don't hit them hard enough to hurt them, just their 'little pride'... and it works better if you do it infront of company, because it embarrases them







:


I had dinner at someones house last night and I was telling them how suprised at the behaiour of some of the kids at school the guy said they need a bloody good whack, (dh gave me the stay calm look :LOL )I tolds him that they are all spanked and he said well he had a friend that was a teacher and she had said the the most effective way of disciplining the kids was to humiliate them









Why is it when someone goes on at me about how effective spanking is, all I wanna do is beat them!







:


----------



## Kaitnbugsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kiahnsmum*
Why is it when someone goes on at me about how effective spanking is, all I wanna do is beat them!







:

When you figure it out, let me know...







: I swear, if I hear my new SIL {do I have to claim her? we told him not to marry her} is all the time telling me how effective hitting is. Swears, laughing the whole time, that her son doesn't feel a thing







Makes me want to just reach out and show her how it feels... BTW- does anyone else see the giant flaw in her logic?


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kaitnbugsmom*
When you figure it out, let me know...







: I swear, if I hear my new SIL {do I have to claim her? we told him not to marry her} is all the time telling me how effective hitting is. Swears, laughing the whole time, that her son doesn't feel a thing







Makes me want to just reach out and show her how it feels... BTW- does anyone else see the giant flaw in her logic?

If I were to see her actually spank and then say that, I probably wouldn't be able to master the impulse to slap her.

My MIL slapped my 11 month old dd's hand (she tried to grab MIL's glasses) yesterday while we were in the doctors office (dp hurt himself) and it was alll I could do to not yank dd out of her arms and slap her right back. grrrr







:


----------



## jenP

I can understand a knee-jerk urge to slap these people, but do you see the huge flaw in logic it would involve to actually do it, or to think it could possibly do any good?

Jen


----------



## sapphire_chan

Well, if adults are responsible for their own actions, then the argument could be made that by stating a hypothesis that hitting does not hurt the adult in question is making a request for practical experimentation.









I hope that one day I will be able to stick myself in between a hitter and their child and get them arrested for assault.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CryPixie83*
My MIL slapped my 11 month old dd's hand (she tried to grab MIL's glasses) yesterday while we were in the doctors office (dp hurt himself) and it was alll I could do to not yank dd out of her arms and slap her right back. grrrr







:

Since this might happen again... Try catching hold of your MIL's hand immediately after she hits (or ideally as she's about too). Keep ahold of her hand while you comfort your dd, then tell her firmly "Hitting hurts, we do not hit in this family, we say we are mad" Or whatever similar phrasing you think would be appropriate for a four year old. :LOL


----------



## pjlioness

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan*
Well, if adults are responsible for their own actions, then the argument could be made that by stating a hypothesis that hitting does not hurt the adult in question is making a request for practical experimentation.

































Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan*
Since this might happen again... Try catching hold of your MIL's hand immediately after she hits (or ideally as she's about too). Keep ahold of her hand while you comfort your dd, then tell her firmly "Hitting hurts, we do not hit in this family, we say we are mad" Or whatever similar phrasing you think would be appropriate for a four year old.

:LOL :LOL :LOL

Rats! Where's the popcorn-eating smiley?

I love this thread. Entertainment and ideas all in one.


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan*
Since this might happen again... Try catching hold of your MIL's hand immediately after she hits (or ideally as she's about too). Keep ahold of her hand while you comfort your dd, then tell her firmly "Hitting hurts, we do not hit in this family, we say we are mad" Or whatever similar phrasing you think would be appropriate for a four year old. :LOL

Wonderful idea... much better than my initial hot-tempered reaction. Also, since my intitial reaction was to slap her I wanted to point out that I was raised in a spanking family, and i think that has a lot to do with how I want to react to situations...


----------



## catnip

I was raised in a sometimes spanking family, and while I seem to have come out of it unscathed, I've decided to take a gentler approach with my kids. My mom tells a retrospectively very funny (and kind of sad) story about the first time she swatted me at about 20 months old... I apparrently squealed and then demanded "kiss it! kiss it!" to make the hurt go away. Sad for that trusting, attached little girl all those years ago, but funny in the sense that my response to being spanked was to tell mom to kiss my butt!


----------



## ERSsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *catnip*
I was raised in a sometimes spanking family, and while I seem to have come out of it unscathed, I've decided to take a gentler approach with my kids. My mom tells a retrospectively very funny (and kind of sad) story about the first time she swatted me at about 20 months old... I apparrently squealed and then demanded "kiss it! kiss it!" to make the hurt go away. Sad for that trusting, attached little girl all those years ago, but funny in the sense that my response to being spanked was to tell mom to kiss my butt!









That is cute, but very sad.


----------



## catnip

Other than the occasional swat to the rear, my parents were pretty cool. I'm sure that if the prevailing attitudes about spanking were as they are now, they would never have done it. My mom and I have a great relationship, and she did fell totally guilty about it even then.


----------



## peaceful_mama

ha ha ha on the 'kiss it!'









I'm sure I am going to get more idiotic comments about spanking as ds gets older, but I am NOT DOING IT!!

Most of my family has asked if he's had Jell-O yet. He's EIGHT MONTHS OLD!! WHY does he need to eat something that's full of fake colors and sugar???? Ditto on the 'just a little' DONUT FILLING!!

(It's not that I will never ever feed him junk, but *I* don't eat Jell-O..and I'm not giving him fake colored, full of sugar crap till he knows what it is and knows what it is to be 'deprived of it' thank you. He is EIGHT MONTHS OLD, he doesn't know junk EXISTS!!)

Oh, and I should 'get him out of my bed.' He's EIGHT MONTHS OLD if he sleeps better snuggled with me, big deal, it's not like he's EIGHTEEN!! lol.....


----------



## ilmo jmaj

When I was pregnant with my son: ppl would say is that your little brother? and here I am bf him and ppl would say Im calling child protective services, you cant have a baby...WTF???
My daughter ppl said you have to bf your baby or she'll get sids( I not bf now b/c Im on meds) and my x-bf rue isnt mine
me: why?
x: I dont make girls
Me: So I got myself pregnant
x:apparently

and about the sleeping on your back when pregnant I was told not to and still ended up on my back...When I went into labor the cord was wrapped 3x around Prue's neck and thats why he said that about the back


----------



## captain optimism

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ilmo jmaj*
and about the sleeping on your back when pregnant I was told not to and still ended up on my back...When I went into labor the cord was wrapped 3x around Prue's neck and thats why he said that about the back

I think most women don't want to sleep on their backs because it hurts as your ligaments soften. I don't know that it's actually harmful to do so, is it?

It's not your fault that the cord was wrapped. I hope you already thought that was a stupid thing for the doctor (doctor?) to say, and weren't feeling guilty!


----------



## mamabohl

what i read about the sleeping on the back was that it can put pressure on some nerve that can cut off blood or oxygen (don't remember, lol) to the baby....


----------



## hopefulfaith

From what I understand, the vena cava (large vessel that goes from the heart down through the abdomen and then splits; major source of blood for placenta) can be compressed if you lie on your back after about the 4th month or so due to the weight of the baby on the vessel. Compression can lead to dizziness, nausea, etc.


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hopefulfaith*
From what I understand, the vena cava (large vessel that goes from the heart down through the abdomen and then splits; major source of blood for placenta) can be compressed if you lie on your back after about the 4th month or so due to the weight of the baby on the vessel. Compression can lead to dizziness, nausea, etc.

That's what I read too. I read it could cause serious harm to the baby. I slept on my back just about every night from about the middle of the second trimester on. I tried to stay on my sides, but everytime I'd wake up, on my back I'd be! I don't remember having any problems because of it,and my baby was the picture of health.









I was also told that holding your arms above your head will cause the cord to be wrapped around the baby's neck. My girl's cord was wrapped.. but I think it's mosre likely because they like to turn around in there, cause I can't figure out how me holding my arms up would cause the cord to wrap around... Anyone? :LOL


----------



## MommyofPunkiePie

I didn't want to post till I had read them all, but I made it past 1000, so I think I am entitled!







I still have some 30 pages to go.
#1. My 85 year old grandfather has a nickname for everyone. His nickname is "Maxwell" and since I was his first grandchild, I was "Maxine". I have never heard him call me Samantha in all my 29 years! I named DD after my late grandmother(his wife) and he calls her "Lizwell" which is what he called my grandma. He's the only one who gets away with not calling DD her full name.








#2. SD(sperm donor) said to me when first discussing the pregnancy that we'd get married, get a house, and that he'd teach me how to hold a newborn. At the end of this conversation he said, "We're going to have a baby!" I was so happy because I already decided that any baby who could get conceived while I was on the Pill was meant to be born and be spectacular! Three days later he said, "Sorry, I changed my mind."--like we were painting the living room mauve or getting an aquarium! Which leads me to...
#3. Would-be MIL brought three boys(5, 3, and 9 months) to America with her husband(their father) from England, and after arriving here, he promptly left them to fend for themselves. Luckily for her she found a man who also had 3 boys of his own and they married. The new guy adopted SD and his two brothers. Wouldn't you think that this woman would try to talk her son into reconsidering his, "Sorry, I changed my mind" attitude? I mean, is she all for history repeating itself? As a woman who knows how hard it is to be a single Mom, you'd think she'd be a little sympathetic!








#4. My Mother insists that DD needs water, even though I showed her in a book that she doesn't. I explained that formula-fed babies need water only on very hot days. She also says "Nobody's pinching you." when DD fusses.
#5. Pedatrician tells me that, at two weeks, I have to give breastfed DD vitamins because "THEY" are now saying breastfed babies don't have enough iron. Asked who "THEY" was and she didn't have an answer.
#6. DD is my only child, and I was in a horrible state of mind while pregnant(if you can't tell by now). My OB said I would not get very big because I would carry her inside my abdomen. Where else would I have carried her?








#7. When I went into labor, I was out of state, so I had to go to the nearest hospital. They treated me as a streetwalker because I was a walk-in and I wasn't very big, although I did gain 60-65 pounds. After the drug test came back negative, they were so much nicer. Let's just say I didn't know then what I know now, so I was in for a very mainstream birth. I accepted pitocin, was hooked up to monitors, had an epistiotomy(and had 4th degree tears to boot), etc. I insisted that since I was going to be both Mother and father to this child no one would be in the delivery room with me. I didn't even know how to push(I thought that I should push like I was peeing because that's where it comes out, right?) No one told me how and I was in pain and tired with no one I knew in there, and here comes the doctor. *NO epidural, though







* He's all gowned/gloved/masked and he asks me to push . I do(what I think is pushing) and he yells as he is throwing off his gown/gloves/mask, "She's not ready yet, why did you bother me?" and he stomped out of the room. I couldn't believe it! I wanted to give up right then, change my mind, send her back where she came from. Then someone says, "You have to get this baby out, you're hurting it." My water hadn't even broke yet! Well, DD was 8 pounds, 1 ounce and their tune changed when she came out!
#8. And the worst thing anyone has said to me(that I can remember and will allow myself to post here): My brother(childless) is watching DD(between 1-2 months old) nurse. She fell off the nipple and was rooting around for it voraciously. Brother says, "She'll make her boyfriend happy one day!"








What a person who is insensitve to the feelings of others!(Is that politically correct enough?







: )


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CryPixie83*
That's what I read too. I read it could cause serious harm to the baby. I slept on my back just about every night from about the middle of the second trimester on. I tried to stay on my sides, but everytime I'd wake up, on my back I'd be! I don't remember having any problems because of it,and my baby was the picture of health.









Maybe it's one of those things that's a problem if it hurts? Like if sleeping on your back makes you feel nauseated and dizzy then you're pinching the nerve, and otherwise you're fine? :LOL


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan*
Maybe it's one of those things that's a problem if it hurts? Like if sleeping on your back makes you feel nauseated and dizzy then you're pinching the nerve, and otherwise you're fine? :LOL

:LOL I guess!


----------



## Thursday Girl

crystal I just have to say that everytime my dd sees your siggy she ets excited and says "dancing banana momma, dancing banana"


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jewelysmommy*
crystal I just have to say that everytime my dd sees your siggy she ets excited and says "dancing banana momma, dancing banana"

aww that's adorable! My dd loves the moving smilies too


----------



## minkajane

It took me almost a week, but I made it through the whole thread! This is the greatest thread ever!! Here are some of my favorites:

From my mom:

- Be careful when you're weaning that you don't let him suck all the milk out, because it will make your breasts smaller!
- Circumcision is cleaner. (I educated her about the risks and nonexistant benefits of circ'ing) Oh -- well, circumcision just looks better. Uncirc'd penises are ugly.
- It's ok to let him cry in his swing. (At my protest that babies under 1 don't know what manipulation is) Babies know more than docs think. *smugly*

From random people:

- You'll change your mind. *smugly* (about everything from cloth diapers to natural birth to circ'ing to breastfeeding)
- My grandbabies got rice cereal from the time they were three weeks and they're fine.
- Give him cereal in a bottle, it will help him sleep through the night.
- You'll regret it! (from several people about cosleeping)
- Is it true that if you don't breastfeed, they have to pump the milk out of you?
- Formula is just like breastmilk in powder form.
- I didn't make enough milk, so I had to wean.
- My kid was allergic to breastmilk. (!)
- Cloth diapers are gross. I don't want POOP in my washing machine!
- He needs a bottle of water in this hot weather.
- He's breastfed - he has to have vitamin D supplements. (from DS's ped)
- A boy should be circ'd to look like his father. (FYI, DH is circ'd, DS is intact)
- Why are his toenails painted? You just can't do that to a boy!!
- Breastfeeding a baby in public is like peeing in public.
- Circ'ing is unnecessary but I don't try to discourage parents from having it done because I like to do procedures. (from DS's ped! scary!)

That's all I can think of for now. I'm lucky to have had a lot of support from my family for the most part. They are hugely supportive of :infant: and







: , accepting (if not supportive) of







and







, and supportive of no CIO,







: , and other AP practices. The only thing they probably won't support is







and UC, so I'll just keep those ideas to myself.


----------



## boingo82

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane*
..
- Formula is just like breastmilk in liquid form....










Because my breastmilk comes out as powder.









Quote:

- Circ'ing is unnecessary but I don't try to discourage parents from having it done because I like to do procedures. (from DS's ped! scary!)
Horrifying but not surprising. You should've seen how excited my OB was that all the babies born that night were boys. "You know what that means!!" she said, "A lot of circs tomorrow!!". I never went back to her.


----------



## Jadzia

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane*
- My kid was allergic to breastmilk. (!)

One of DH's relatives said this to me! We were at an Xmas party and she told me that and at first (before I thought it out) I was like "How horrible!" and then when I asked her for details the lady mentioned that it was *milk* the baby was allergic to. I wondered what they fed the baby then. She said formula and I got a confused look on my face. After a few more questions, the women told me it was the milk/dairy that SHE was eating in her diet that was making her baby sick.

At that point, I just wanted to roll my eyes because would it have been too much trouble to just not eat dairy? You know, for the sake of your baby? I mean, does one's desire for ice cream really trump your baby's health?

And I am really confused at how a mom eating dairy would make a baby sick, but formula made with dairy and fed directly to the baby is okay?


----------



## kiahnsmum

The t.v presenter on the morning show here, said she coulndt be breastfed because she was allergic to milk!!????
I emailed her and said surely if she was allergic to cows milk that human milk would have been the better option


----------



## sarathan

A friend of mine (also a mother) told me that starting when my son was 2 weeks old, I should let him CIO to fall asleep instead of picking him up because "they learn fast." Soooo sad......


----------



## Mummoth

"I don't see any tears, she's not really upset" "Listen to that big phony cry, I don't see any tears!" "Look at your mom jump for your big phony cry, you know how to get what you want, don't you?!" "I don't see any tears, you've got this system all worked out, don't you?"








:

1. I realize there aren't any tears. Why does that matter? She is expressing her discontent with something. She doesn't have *vocabulary* yet, how else is she supposed to let me know that she's feeling not as bad as distressed but certainly not content?

2. I realize there aren't any tears. It's not like I'm busy getting lunch ready or something. If I were, I'd tell her I'll be a few minutes, and give her a plastic container or a wooden spoon to play with in the meantime, or put her in her highchair so she can see whats going on up on the counter. I don't stop whatever I'm doing to scoop her up every time she squeaks. However, if I'm just sitting on the couch having a conversation, what harm can come of picking her up when she asks me to?

3. I realize there aren't any tears. That doesn't mean she's being phony or manipulative. Do you bawl everytime you're mildly upset? Are you being manipulative when you ask someone to pass the salt? Is 'manipulating' a situation to gain comfort/attention/food/a toy/whatever a bad thing? How, exactly? I think it's pretty smart of her to have figured that out.








:


----------



## Charles Baudelaire

Oh, THANK you! My MIL used to do this and it annoyed the living crud out of me. I totally agree. What is it about some people that they think...

1. Babies are evil manipulators
2. They're all out to control their parents
3. Their desires must be resisted at all costs.

What kind of way is that to think about your own child?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mummoth*
"I don't see any tears, she's not really upset" "Listen to that big phony cry, I don't see any tears!" "Look at your mom jump for your big phony cry, you know how to get what you want, don't you?!" "I don't see any tears, you've got this system all worked out, don't you?"








:

1. I realize there aren't any tears. Why does that matter? She is expressing her discontent with something. She doesn't have *vocabulary* yet, how else is she supposed to let me know that she's feeling not as bad as distressed but certainly not content?

2. I realize there aren't any tears. It's not like I'm busy getting lunch ready or something. If I were, I'd tell her I'll be a few minutes, and give her a plastic container or a wooden spoon to play with in the meantime, or put her in her highchair so she can see whats going on up on the counter. I don't stop whatever I'm doing to scoop her up every time she squeaks. However, if I'm just sitting on the couch having a conversation, what harm can come of picking her up when she asks me to?

3. I realize there aren't any tears. That doesn't mean she's being phony or manipulative. Do you bawl everytime you're mildly upset? Are you being manipulative when you ask someone to pass the salt? Is 'manipulating' a situation to gain comfort/attention/food/a toy/whatever a bad thing? How, exactly? I think it's pretty smart of her to have figured that out.








:


----------



## Charles Baudelaire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane*
From my mom:

- Be careful when you're weaning that you don't let him suck all the milk out, because it will make your breasts smaller!


Oh, I WISH!!!! I WISH!!! If that would work, I'd be so happy...it would utterly prevent my thinking dreamily about reduction.

Quote:



- You'll change your mind. *smugly* (about everything from cloth diapers to natural birth to circ'ing to breastfeeding)
It's the smugness that gets me. I was smugly told that we would...

* End up watching children's television anyway, despite our absolute detestation of it (WRONG!)

* End up with an enormous purse (WRONG!)

* Have to carry around more than just a few diapers and a bunch of wipes (WRONG)

* Have to go to the chiropractor when my dd turned one year old because of all the sling-carrying (WRONG!)

* Have to go to the chiropractor when she turned two.

*...when she turned three...

* ...when she turned four...(wrong, wrong, and wrong)

Quote:


- Formula is just like breastmilk in liquid form.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


----------



## catnip

OK. This conversation was a bit devestating to me, as a low supply mama who has to bust her butt, take herbs, pump, pump, pump, and still formula supplement.

Preganant Friend: Oh I gave up on breatfeeding after 3 weeks with my first.
Me: Why?
F: My (pumped) milk kept spoiling
Me: (Expecting the soapy taste complaint, and planning on telling her how to fix it)how so, did it taste funny?
F: no, it curdled
Me: (pulling out a container of my own expressed milk) did it look like this?
F: Yeah!
Me: That's just normal seperation. YOu swirl the fat back in, and it's fine.
F: Oh. Well, nobody told me that. I couldn't find any info in any books or anywhere online, and LLL told me to take a hike because I wasn't on WIC (???) so I figured if no one was gonna help me why bother. It was better this way anyhow, cause then her dad could feed her.


----------



## notamommyyet

I'm so thankful to have another mothers around who validate the way I want to parent my future children.Thnak you


----------



## susanallison

Three different women have said to me, "She's so cute, I can see why you want to stay home with her." I felt like saying,"Yeah, we weren't sure if I was going back to work or not, but once we saw how cute she was..."


----------



## buffybutt

My best friend from high school and I were catching up( we havnt seen or talked to each other in four yrs) told me that I turned into a granola cruncher cause Im having a waterbirth with our first due in october, but what is really crazy is when we started talking about circumcision. I told her that we wernt going to do that and she asked, omg have you looked into that?

I replied, um no not at all, one day I was walking down the street and decided that I didnt want to cut the foreskin off of my sons penis.

Hello lady, yes I have looked into it.

I cant wait till she gets pregnant and has to hear the stupid stuff people say.


----------



## Kateana

Quote:


Originally Posted by *buffybutt*
I cant wait till she gets pregnant and has to hear the stupid stuff people say.

She just might not think it's stupid stuff... But hopefully she'll wise up before then.


----------



## Thursday Girl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *veganmamma*
DP is catholic and we were at midnight mass last night and I was nursing dd in the hall outside the service and a man and his wife walked through and the man said " What a desacration!" as he walked through just loud enough for me to hear!! Can you believe it! I was so caught off guard I didn't even say my planned comeback! "What do you think Jesus ate?" hmph! I'll tell him to eff off if I ever see him again!
Love,
Lauren


hehe I made DD a shirt with a pic of jesus BF and it said "I'm fed like Jesus"

Courtney


----------



## EnviroBecca

Walking home from daycare, we met a man from our church who has kids now in elementary school.
HIM: I can tell you're a new parent because you're carrying so much stuff!
ME: I've tried to winnow it down, but we really do need all of--
HIM (very smug): When our kids were babies, we had this trim little bag that just held 4 diapers and a pack of wipes, because after all what more do you need?
ME (lickety-split): 4 bottles, 2 ice packs, 2 empty bottles for me to fill, sunscreen, change of clothes, and my lunch.
HIM: What, have you been out all day?!
ME: Yes!!
HIM: Oh. Uh, I'm turning here; see you later....
:LOL


----------



## kater07

Last night

Teen: What's his name? while pointing at DD.

Me: She's a Girl, and her name is Lorelei.
Teen: She's a Gril?
Me: Yes
Teen: She's got on the wrong color, girls should wear pink.
Me: Babies can wear any color, they aren't color coded.
Teen: Well it makes it hard for others to know she's a girl if she's in blue.

I wish I'd said, "If you don't know the gender, just ask." Instead, I took my Hot Fresh Krispy Kreme Donuts and left.


----------



## Kateana

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jewelysmommy*
hehe I made DD a shirt with a pic of jesus BF and it said "I'm fed like Jesus"

Courtney

Will you post a pic of it?


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kater07*
Teen: Well it makes it hard for others to know she's a girl if she's in blue.
.

Um... older girls wear blue all the time... Oh! And PANTS, girls wear PANTS!!! This should definately not be allowed, or we might confuse girls for boys all the time, and my goodness, we can't have _that_ now can we?


----------



## Aura_Kitten

the other night, this little boy around my son's age (new neighbor) came up to us... i had my daughter ~ in her blue flowered _dress_ and _pink_ garden-print diaper cover sitting on the ground by my feet ~ and my son out playing in the grass with the other kids and his trucks... and he asks me, "is that a boy?" (pointing to my daughter.)

me: is _she_ wearing a dress?
him: well.... yeah....

:LOL


----------



## the_lissa

I don't think that is stupid. Did you see the "Would you let your boys wear a dress?" thread? Lots of people here do. I would. Plus, a lot of little kids don't know that dress=girl.

I woul dhave dd in all pink dress and everyone would ask if she was a boy. I didn't care.


----------



## mammafish78

Quote:


Originally Posted by *indiegirl*
Yesterday I went to my aunts yearly xmas party and was talking to one of her friends. She asked me where the baby was that I was pg with last year. I told her I miscarried that baby. She said, "Oh you weren't that far along anyway. And besides, that baby was most likely deformed, so its actually a good thing it died."










Nice. I wanted to slap her, instead I said, "That very well may be true, but it certainly doesn't make it any easier."

Jesse

someone told me this too! what gawl!


----------



## kiahnsmum

Similar thing happened to me when ds was around 1, his hair had been cut short he had a dark blue top on and green pants the lady at the shop said what a gorgeous wee girl!! When i said he was a boy she said 'oh, hes too pretty to be a boy"


----------



## sprout 1

I just have a hard time with people passing on their opinions as "the way it is" and expecting me to agree. Tonight an old roomie told me I was wrong and terrible for wanting another baby when the world is overpopulated.
my younger brother (19 yrs. old) told me I was "naive" for not spanking ds and refusing to let him be called a "naughty boy". um. my brother isn't even living on his own, has never been around kids and has never read one sentence about parenting. but he can judge my beliefs...







:
I also was told by a DOCTOR that my breastmilk would lose its nutritional value after nursing for a year, so I should wean ds (he's still nursing)
oh, and this one takes the cake:
Man in store: how old is your baby?
dh: 6 weeks
Man: Oh, so you still know the meaning of "sleep"! Wait till he's 6 years and then you'll find out about sleepless nights!
dh: walks away with a fatigued look on face

I'll always remember that one.


----------



## JamesMama

I got a new one today, MIL asked why we were switching to CD's I told her the environment and to save $$ and she said "Well to save money, all you do is buy the cheap walmart brand and then only change them every 2 or 3 hours, unless he poops a lot. You don't change him EVERY time he just pees do you?"


----------



## crazydiamond

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JamesMama*
I got a new one today, MIL asked why we were switching to CD's I told her the environment and to save $$ and she said "Well to save money, all you do is buy the cheap walmart brand and then only change them every 2 or 3 hours, unless he poops a lot. You don't change him EVERY time he just pees do you?"

Yikes! Nothing like making your kid sit in a pile of his own urine for hours on end to make him feel loved


----------



## the_lissa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kiahnsmum*
Similar thing happened to me when ds was around 1, his hair had been cut short he had a dark blue top on and green pants the lady at the shop said what a gorgeous wee girl!! When i said he was a boy she said 'oh, hes too pretty to be a boy"

:LOL

I guess people thought dd was ugly then when they thought she was a boy.


----------



## peaceful_mama

This friend of ours always says 'oh he's so cute he shoulda been a girl!' My son *does* have adorable curly hair and long eyelashes. He also has his daddy's chin. I think he has a very obvious 'boy' face, I've never had anyone think he was a girl.

I think, of course, that he is JUST FINE as is!


----------



## peaceful_mama

Oh here's another one I just *have to* share.......

I got married 1/17/04. I found out I was pregnant with DS 2/10/04.

I had just started working in a different classroom at school, and I was supposed to be gone for a sinus surgery on the 11th, the last day before our week-long break.
Well, I had a pregnancy blood test pre-surgery, and well......I was pregnant!

So of *course* *everyone* wants to know *why* I'm not out having surgery....and at lunch, one of the teachers I worked with the year before says 'so is there a REASON you're not having surgery?' and I knew what she meant, so I said 'yeah.................' with that *look of happiness* and everyone there, we were all jumping around, hugging, the usual craziness.

So later that afternoon, I'm back up in the new classroom, and since that whole exchange took place in the 2nd floor lounge, the teacher in that class didn't know about it. So I told her, can't remember the full conversation, and she says 'Oh well, *THAT* was quick!' in this snide tone..........I didn't even know WHAT to say.

I just look back on that now and say 'so what if it was? I'm an adult, and a married one at that.........even if I DID get married because I had a positive test and just chose to tell everyone I was pregnant after I got married, SO?' (that's NOT what happened by the way, he WAS *honestly* a wedding night surprise, with a due date and arrival time 40 weeks after the wedding.)
but even if that WASN"T the case, what a thing to say!







(and I knew from that moment I wasn't going to like working with this woman......never was I so happy to see someone had transferred when I came back in the fall...)


----------



## janerose

Originally Posted by veganmamma
DP is catholic and we were at midnight mass last night and I was nursing dd in the hall outside the service and a man and his wife walked through and the man said " What a desacration!" as he walked through just loud enough for me to hear!! Can you believe it! I was so caught off guard I didn't even say my planned comeback! "What do you think Jesus ate?" hmph! I'll tell him to eff off if I ever see him again!

Wow! She would have been totally blown away by me then -- I was nursing dd while going up to get communion this past Christmas.







I think my Mom & stepdad thought it was pretty ballsy, but they were smart enough not to make a comment to me about it at the time. Later on someone casually mentioned it and I DID say "Yeah, I'm sure God was real offended by my bf'ing dd while I got communion. After all, it's not like that's what he *gave* us breasts for or anything."









FWIW, I was wearing my Glamour Mom tank bra and a sweater set/skirt, so you could totally not tell I was bf'ing unless you were specifically looking for it. Like I would have gone up if I'd been exposed in any way!


----------



## opallady4

I am not a parent yet, but hear all sorts of awful things from my cousin in law. I try to keep my mouth shut as much as possible, to keep peace in the family, but this one took all my effort to not go balistic.

She has a 9 month old sleeping in a crib in his own room, and who usually goes to bed at about 8:00 PM, wakes up at about 5:00 AM to have a bottle of formula, and goes back to sleep until about 7:00 AM. Then he is in day care all day and has two 2 hour naps in the middle of the day. She works from 7:00 - 6:00. So, to begin with she only sees the kid for 2 hours each day. Then one day she says:

"Yeah, well most of the time I am so tired when he wakes up at 5:00, I just make him a bottle and give it to him in the crib, and go to bed." Now that was bad enough, but then she went on to say in the same breath "I know I am not supposed to do that, but he has a pillow in his crib, so he will be elevated and that will protect him from ear infections, and that's really the only thing to worry about. When he starts getting ear infections, then I might worry about it."





















I was so sad for her baby in a dark room all by himself, fully awake, and eating with no one around









I didn't know what to say, I was just speechless. And I am getting certified for foster adopt, so I know that is one of the things totally against the regulations, to prop a baby, or give a baby a bottle without holding them or making eye contact. I almost told her that, but then again I have learned the hard way, that nothing I say makes any difference to her, so I just keep my mouth shut.


----------



## mollyeilis

Oh, catnip, that's so awful!

I had a friend who could have gone that way, she had the weird smelling milk after it was frozen, which can be "taken care of" by scalding the milk (if it's bothering the baby), but she was at home so never actually needed the frozen milk. When I told her it wasn't actually the milk spoiling and that it could have easily been remedied if her DD was bothered by it, she had the same really nonchalant reply as your friend did.

As for the LLL/WIC thing, what on earth is she talking about? LLL isn't a governmental thing, it's just moms helping moms, what in the world was she talking about? *totally confused by your friend*...

Quote:


Originally Posted by *catnip*
OK. This conversation was a bit devestating to me, as a low supply mama who has to bust her butt, take herbs, pump, pump, pump, and still formula supplement.

Preganant Friend: Oh I gave up on breatfeeding after 3 weeks with my first.
Me: Why?
F: My (pumped) milk kept spoiling
Me: (Expecting the soapy taste complaint, and planning on telling her how to fix it)how so, did it taste funny?
F: no, it curdled
Me: (pulling out a container of my own expressed milk) did it look like this?
F: Yeah!
Me: That's just normal seperation. YOu swirl the fat back in, and it's fine.
F: Oh. Well, nobody told me that. I couldn't find any info in any books or anywhere online, and LLL told me to take a hike because I wasn't on WIC (???) so I figured if no one was gonna help me why bother. It was better this way anyhow, cause then her dad could feed her.


----------



## mollyeilis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zakers_mama*
...and she says 'Oh well, *THAT* was quick!' in this snide tone..........I didn't even know WHAT to say.

I just look back on that now and say 'so what if it was? I'm an adult, and a married one at that.........even if I DID get married because I had a positive test and just chose to tell everyone I was pregnant after I got married, SO?'


Oh I hear you! People get so weird about quickly-conceived babies, you can see them doing math in their heads, like they've caught you at something. Ours was a wedding-night baby too, and unfortunately that means people are just thinking about our sex life TOO MUCH when they know the wedding date and know when he arrived.

I also got looks, like we got married for the baby? Um, OK, we got engaged March '01, cancelled a September '02 wedding to work on our relationship, got re-engaged, re-planned for August of '03, but *only* got married because of a baby? OK.... When, if anything, we were extra careful to NOT get pregnant; with all the planning I had done and stress I had been through, that dress was darned well going to FIT, and I was darned tootin' going to drink beer and champagne with no guilt at my reception!


----------



## mollyeilis

*opallady4* , that makes me so sad. I emailed the post to my husband, and he nearly cried. He spends more than 2 hours with DS (we actually have made sure he has a LATE bedtime so that Robert can spend time with him AND I get to sleep in with him since I'm not a morning person) and we co-sleep, but still he feels he spends too little time with our son.







2 hours, wow...


----------



## Thursday Girl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mollyeilis*
Oh I hear you! People get so weird about quickly-conceived babies, you can see them doing math in their heads, like they've caught you at something. I









Our baby was only in the womb for 4 months!! She is the fastest growing baby ever (sripping with sickly sweet sarcasm) she is like superman or something!


----------



## shelley4

my shaggy haired son got called a girl so many times, especially when he was a toddler.. i could have him all dressed up in "boy" colours and people would tell me what a beautiful girl i had... and then when dd was born, since she had shorter hair until she was at least a year, everyone called her a boy, even when wearing pink (not that she got pink alot, i hate all pink all the time stuff)

but the stupidest comment that we got recently: we were at a BBQ for dh's work, and everyone brought thier kids. mine are currently DS: nearly 4 and DD: almost 2.. and one of the bosses' wives asked me *twice* which one i had first.. she was absolutely certain that my DD was older than my DS, even though my DS is a good foot and a half taller than DD (at least!), and DS can talk and talk and talk, while DD's vocab is still slowly growing and not always understood by strangers... and when i said that my DS is older she said "are you sure???" and i'm like YES! I'm totally sure!







i would hope i would know something basic like that, i am thier mother!


----------



## indiana ima

wow, shelley4, that woman is WEIRD.


----------



## ^guest^

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane*
- Circ'ing is unnecessary but I don't try to discourage parents from having it done because I like to do procedures. (from DS's ped! scary!)

Wow, that's honestly disturbing. "Hi, I know that circumcision is an unnecessary and damaging procedure, but surgery is just SO much fun I don't tell people."


----------



## Shenjall

Quote:

.. and when i said that my DS is older she said "are you sure???" and i'm like YES! I'm totally sure! i would hope i would know something basic like that, i am thier mother!
ah, but dont you know mothers dont know anything about their kids? Only the all-mighty doctor could be sure if your ds is older......heh heh


----------



## shelley4

LOL and i guess my DD doesn't even officially exist 'cause there was no doctor at her birth !!


----------



## cycle

I have so enjoyed reading this posts over the past week. So many of these things have been said to me. Most recently (this morning) I was talking to my Mom and my ds was nursing and his new thing is to straighten his legs up and "stand up" while nursing. I think its funny and adorable and I told my Mom and she said "If he is old enough to stand up while nursing he is too old to nurse" He is 6 months old!!!

The other one I get all the time since he cut his first tooth..."I guess you're have to stop nursing now"

A great one that I think has been said, my Mom and Grandma were visiting and in the rare occasion that ds would cry when they were holding him and I would take him, they would say "see he just wanted his Mommy" in a negative way, because he stopped crying. And??????

Of course I have had I think every co-sleeping comment that has already been said. If people would stop and think about how assanine what they are saying is....


----------



## MelissaEvans

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cycle*
If people would stop and think about how assanine what they are saying is....

Then this thread wouldn't be 86 pages long! =)


----------



## runes

melissa- :LOL

so true, so true. and we wouldn't have this awesome thread that has over 90,000 views to commiserate and entertain.


----------



## Seana

To the person who's mil said breastfeeding would cause your baby to be homosexual,
You should have pointed out that if that were the case, the human race would have died out before formula was invented!


----------



## peaceful_mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mollyeilis*
Oh I hear you! People get so weird about quickly-conceived babies, you can see them doing math in their heads, like they've caught you at something. Ours was a wedding-night baby too, and unfortunately that means people are just thinking about our sex life TOO MUCH when they know the wedding date and know when he arrived.



And it's their business WHY??? it makes WHAT difference in THEIR life?


----------



## cjbeach

Just lurking but laughing and simultaneously sad at so many of these posts.

My favorite comments came from my SIL. She hated that I BF our DS and DD. She and MIL would look away, walk out of the room if I BF our kids near them. But my favorite 2 SIL comments of all time are: "eww, it's just gross" (talking about bf) AND (while talking about my neighbor bf her 15 mo old) "OMG she does what? And she's a nurse! She should know better!" I started to say "Ummm Jill, you know the even the AAP recommends...." but realized I'd just be wasting my breath.

I've always hated playpens. When I moved rather than help us do ANYTHING MIL said to me "Just put him in the playpen so you can unpack and clean. If he screams too bad." Yeah... thank you for your help. She and my SIL loved their playpens and mine is covered in dust.


----------



## Thursday Girl

I can't remember if I posted this one or not but

"so now that your pregnant it's time to wean right"

uhh wrong

From Dear Sister this weekend
"you need to spank her she's not listening to you" ( this is after she spanked my child







:







:







:







:







:

I told her not to spank my child and what does she say "I didn't spank her hard" I siad "I don't care we don't spank"







:







:







:

I think that's it for now I mean I know I've gotten other comments. Mostly about Breastfeeding. I think it's so funny b/c every time Igo to BF her my twin sisater (same one as the spanker) goes "eww" and turns away. I say at least she turns away now and doesn't say anythig else.


----------



## captain optimism

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jewelysmommy*
From Dear Sister this weekend
"you need to spank her she's not listening to you" ( this is after she spanked my child







:







:







:







:







:

I told her not to spank my child and what does she say "I didn't spank her hard" I siad "I don't care we don't spank"

Obviously your sister _needs_ to be hit because she doesn't listen to you!

That is in the "worst" category to me. On what planet does an aunt have a right to hit a child without the parents' consent?


----------



## Thursday Girl

tell me about it she thinks she has some right to dsicipline my child without my permission and she is always well when she was little she would feed jewely cake and stuff that I didn't want her eating. I would tell her not to feed that stuff to my child and she would sneak it!!! So I started feeding her dog human food and she got pissed. (the audacity) . So i told her I was going to keep feeding her dog human food as long as she didn't listen to me about feeding jewely junk food. When I threatened to feed the dog raw bacon she backed off. Unfortunaltely she doesn't have a dog anymore b/c i would tell her that i'd hit the dog. ( I really wouldn't). I don't know what it is but she respects nothing i say regarding my daughter. i am wondering if i should cut contact but she is my twin and good friend. and Jewely likes her a lot. Maybe temporarily cut contact between them, and explain that if she continues to ignore Chris and I regarding our daughter then she will not be allowed to see her.


----------



## shelley4

i would just not let your sister have any alone time with her.. revoke her babysitting privledges until she agrees to no junk and no spanking! she can still visit with your daughter.. just not unsupervised


----------



## Thursday Girl

that sister doesn't really babysit anyways. She did once and she wasn't actually babysitting justtaking her someplace. i emailed her this morning and informed her she wasn't to do that or she wouldn't be allowed to see her. She has agreed not to.


----------



## Jenivere

Well, I've been reading this post for several years now but I've never posted in it. What a theraputic thread, I am so glad it is still around! Now I'll write a nice long vent for me. And I do mean long, the more I thought about it the more I remeberd.

When my son was a baby ( I think near a year)my husband had him cradled in his arms and was spinning slowly in circles. My kids love to be spun around! We were at our church and a lady saw him doing it. She informed him that he was "shaking the baby!" Huh ? I know what shaking the baby is and this was not such a case.

On solid foods~
~at a birthday party for the daughter of my BIL's GF. My son was 9 months and everyone thought we were crazy when we would not allow them to give him ice cream and cake.
~My good freind argued with me and actually tried to override my wish for no dairy food for my son who was still under a year. I said no and she still told her kids to give him potatoes mashed with milk and butter. It did not happen but I was highly annoyed.
~My daughter at six months was just trying her first solid foods. MIL saw us in the car at the grocery store. She gave us a couple of dollars and told us to treat them with ice cream. we just looked at her and she said (very shocked tone of voice) "Can't they have ice cream?!"We said Jacob could and we would take him for a cone after dinner but Emma could not. She just does not get it no matter how often we say something.
~ a few days later at a church BBQ. Emma will east some banana on occasion so MIL was going to give her some. I looked up so see her mashing the banana that was on her plate and attempting to remove the whipped cream and jello from it. I told her no and she protested. I had some fresh banana and I let her give that to Emma.
~ My IL's have finally got it that we do not give our children soda of any kind but they still make a big deal of it. MIL makes a big deal of that fact that i encourage them to mostly drink water. She calls sunny D juice and think I am depriving my kids by not wanting them to have it.
~lady at the grocery store offerd my son a sucker and we said no. She proceeded to keep asking, holding the can out and asking which one he wanted. We again said no. Ignoring us she pulled one out and started to unwrap it to give to him. We again said no and took it. That turned a perfectly calm shopping experiance into a tantrum! I was sooo angry at her!

What is with this small town in the amount of junk they feed their kids and why does everyone look at us like we are insane when we refuse to do as they do?!?

On Breastfeeding~
~My son was only a week or so old. My MIL informed me not to worry about my milk suddenly drying up at one month. Just keep nursing and it will come back. I just ignored her and felt bad that she was so misinformed. Because even I as a young un-experianced mom knew better then that.
~My sister informed me that my milk will go bad if I go to long between feedings and that I would need to pump the bad milk out if I waited to long.
~Bil's irritating GF thought I should hide every time I breastfed my son. I was nursing him at about 15 months, setting on the couch with my husband and noone else was in the room. She walked in and threw blanket over us both which I promptly ripped off and my son started to cry. I heard through the grapevine that she felt I was a bad example to her kids ect for nursing without leaving the room or being draped in a blanket. I also heard ( my son was at an age that he was distracted easily) that she and my MIL felt my milk had changed( a few months pg at the time). Jacob would frequently unlatch to look around and get fussy due to being hungry/tired. They assumed btween them that he did not want to nurse anymore and my milk must not be any good.
~my poor mom kept insisting my children need water even when they were young and still exclusivly BF. It was hot and she did nto beleive me that BM was enough. She also felt that I had to wean Jacob when I became pregnant for my baby's sake.
~my freind who was very pro-breastfeeding and told me not to hide under a blanket as a new mother...had a heart attack when she found Jacob nursed to 29 months. She thjought it was horrible! She is pro BF but for no longer than 18 months at the most.

On co-sleeping
~several family members insisted I needed to get my children out of my bed no later then one year of age. I finally told them they could talk all they wanted but they knew I would do what I wanted. They stopped after that.
~lady at church about blew a fuse when she found out we co-slept. She is very mainstream. Her family also believes in schedlues for babies and not EBF.

MIL~
tottaly offended that she was not allowed at the the birth of our children. Pouted for a week and made up blatent lies, putting words in my mouth that I had never said.

When my son was a few months old she (MIL)said it would not be long before he started staying the night at her house with the other kids. Ha! At 3 1/2 he has yet to stay the night away from us. When he was 14 months my SIL said he needed to start staying away from us overnight and thought us silly for not leaving him with her while we went to another state.

My IL's don't think car seats really need to be used.

MIL referd to my Midwife as my person and really wanted me to get a U/S which I never did. Thankfully they pretty much kept their mouths shut about Em's homebirth.

When Emma was a few months old my MIL came over and informed me she though em was sickly, did not have any sparkle and might have a heart problem. Em sparkled plenty but was very shy in public and often slept at church. MIL hardly ever saw her and was judging her on the very little she knew.

When Jacob was two weeks old we stopped at my SIL's house to chat for a bit. When she found out Jacob was intact she gaves us the you're crazy look and said "but I was there for dear nephews circ" and left it at that. As if that was supposed to change our minds somehow???

My husbands freind once slapped Jacob (at around 18 months) on the hand after Jacob got into something for the third time in a row. My husband left it up to me and I in a somewhat controlled voice said that noone slaps my babies and took him outside to play. My BIL informed me that same evening that the only way to discipline is to spank and that I must bite Jacob to teach him not to bite. He only bit me when he was hurting from teething!

My husband and his siblings were hit with wet wooden spoons growing up. Their mom to me seems to be a very emotionally needy and controlling person so most of what I get from them it not all that supprising to me.

The all time worst for me happend a few months ago when Emma was 15 months. She had about ten words at the time did not use them often. Some called our local child development center and told them they thought she had a speech problem. So I got a call and I panicked when I saw State of ID on my caller ID. I talked to the man and he was very klind. Said he was just following up on a call he received, gave me a little info and that was that. Nothing else happend after that. Just thinking about it still makes me angry. Emma being as young as she is does not spend a lot of time with other people, she is mostly with us. Who felt they had the right to make a call like that? And why on earth did they feel the need to go behind our backs? She crawled at 10 1/2 months and did not walk till almost 15 months but other then that she hit all of her milestones on time if not early! She is petite which we get so many comments about. Does someone really think we would ignore our childrens needs like that? She has about 20 or more words now but still does not talk a lot. I wish people would just mind their own buisness.


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## Robin926

Oh wow, I can't believe I made it to the end! I have spent the last few days reading this entire thread while DS naps 

First off, I'm new here so Hi to all you like-minded mommies!









So here's my dumb/ill-informed comments (I could write a book but I'll stick with a few!):

My DH's friend once asked me if I got aroused while BFing DS. It took me a second to respond, but I was nice and just informed him how the hormones work and that it feels good, but it's not sexual. He was actually interested and not being a perv, so I'm glad I didn't just snap at him









My friend (who actually has just discovered she is pregnant) was making those 'I'll run off with your baby' comments when DS was a couple months old. When I said she couldn't feed him, she just said 'formula.' Then she goes to, 'Well, I'm probably going to have to use formula anyway." "Why?" "Because my breasts are so small." I just started laughing, thinking it was a joke. She was serious... So I got to explain why that wasn't true, but I dunno if she believed me. She also said it'd be so weird to 'go to work lactating and stuff.' I hope she gives it a little more consideration now that she's about to have a baby of her own.

Her mom has to be the worst. I could fill an entire post with her comments, but I'll try to just put in a few







DH and I were staying with her for a while when we first moved back home. I've called her Mom for years and she's been great to me since my parents died. Anyway, she thinks I've 'always been a little different' and that most of my parenting ideas are strange.

One of the worst comments she gave me was when I was pregnant. I was constantly having to remind her I was going to breastfeed. She once said, 'Oh yeah, I forgot about the boobie thing.' Um... One day we were talking and she says, 'Yeah, well, what if he doesn't LIKE breastmilk?!' I had no response because it was so ludicrous!

I thought she was going to burst when I said we weren't circ'ing. It came up because of the insurance not paying for it, and she was saying 'Oh yeah have to put that money back somewhere.' 'Oh no, we're not having it done.' I was nonchalant about it because, well, why would anyone else care about my son's genitals?? She belted out 'You HAVE TO!' with a resounding smack on the table with her hand. 'No, we don't.' 'But it's cleaner, it's..







' I tried to explain our position, and she just would say that it's gross not to. She tried bringing up out of the blue a few weeks later, 'I still say you should have him circumcised.' I just told her, 'We're not, and you're not going to change my mind.' She finally let it go.

Here's one of the DUMBEST comments I got. When DS was two weeks, I took him to for his checkup (I don't know why I bothered, he hasn't been in months now). They kept asking me what was wrong with him, first off, and I just kept saying it's a well-baby visit. I asked if I could go somewhere private to nurse him (I was still awkward with it and, while I don't care about the modesty issue, I didn't want to do it in front of strangers until I was more coordinated.) The nurse took me back to the exam room, and I sat there nursing until the nurse came in to ask why he came in, etc. I am sitting there, obviously nursing. I didn't cover up because I was in a room alone. The nurse asks, 'Is he having any problems with his formula?'







I just stopped for a sec, took a breath, and said, 'He's exclusively breastfed.' Geez.

I long since left that practice because the NP gave us horrible information, and only wanted to poke our child full of holes. We intentionally interviewed her before his birth to make sure she was non-vax friendly, but at every visit she wanted to schedule vax'es. She also talked down to me like an idiot because I'm young and was there alone. 'Don't give him cereal at 2 weeks old. He only needs breastmilk. At 4 months you can feed him.' I told her I already knew all that but she kept talking.









Anyway, those are mine for now, I'm sure I'll have much to add later. Thanks for letting me in on the fun!!!

Robin
Mommy to Jacob (9/26/04) and wife to James (since 7/7/02)


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## Shaunam

Ok, this wasn't said to me. The cashier at my grocery store told me this.

Growing up, her family was very NFL. They had their own garden and ate evrything organic. She was 20 when her youngest brother was born and she would help her mom make baby food.







They knew what was good for babies. Anyways, their ped freaked out and said that organic food was harmful to babies! They said, "well, what about the pesticides?" He said, "what pesticides? there are no pesticides in food!"

I was









She said they ignored the ped and contined to grow their baby food.









This conversation was brought on because I bought organic baby food and it went over the WIC limit. The cashier has to give it to you even if it goes over the limit, but she didn't make a deal of it. She was actually glad I was "paying" more for the good stuff. :LOL


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## Macncheezex3

Well I haven't read this WHOLE thread, but I plan to - In the meantime, I have had it with ppl telling me how to raise my child!
My dad informed me the best thing to give a baby who is teething is a chicken bone. Ok, I don't even give my DOG a chicken bone, why would I give one to my 16 mth old?! While my dad is very pro-cloth diapering, I would expect better from him.
Our children were playing in the pool at the next door neighbor's house with their kids. My baby was facinated with water, but I would not put her in there with a bunch of 4-7 yos. She kept going up to the side to look at them. My oldest dd thought it would be funny to spit water in the baby's face. Of course, the baby LOVED it and laughed that great baby belly laugh. My neighbor, thinking it was just shameful that I let this go on I suppose, ran up to the pool, grabbing a mouthful of water and spitting in my oldest dd's face to retaliate. I promptly took my children home. He also tells me all the time that my children are whiney and clingy, and should be "toughened up".


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## Kaitnbugsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jenP*
I can understand a knee-jerk urge to slap these people, but do you see the huge flaw in logic it would involve to actually do it, or to think it could possibly do any good?

Jen

which is about the only reason i haven't done it yet


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## Momtwice

Some of this breastfeeding information fascinated me...because in with the confusing advice there may be a little kernel of truth. For instance:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jenivere*
~My son was only a week or so old. My MIL informed me not to worry about my milk suddenly drying up at one month. Just keep nursing and it will come back.

Maybe she was referring to the fact that many babies have a growth spurt at around one month to six weeks...and it may SEEM like your milk is drying up because they suddenly want to nurse all the time...but it isn't.

Quote:

.
~My sister informed me that my milk will go bad if I go to long between feedings and that I would need to pump the bad milk out if I waited to long.
The kernel here might be that if you go too long between feedings, it's a good idea to pump to keep up your supply, to feel more comfortable and prevent a breast infection etc. But that doesn't mean the milk is "bad" if you wait too long.


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## MommyofPunkiePie

My Mom's co-workers told her to let my DD chew on a chicken bone for teething issues. We both thought they were nuts--till I read the same thing on the website of Dr. Sears! I still would not do it, but it's interesting to know that he recommends that!


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## Jenivere

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Momtwice*
Maybe she was referring to the fact that many babies have a growth spurt at around one month to six weeks...and it may SEEM like your milk is drying up because they suddenly want to nurse all the time...but it isn't.

She might have been and I can't say for certain what she meant. But at the time she really came across as saying your milk WILL dissapear suddenly and without reason but if you nurse it will come back. I don't think she was referring to growth spurts. I could be wrong of course.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Momtwice*
The kernel here might be that if you go too long between feedings, it's a good idea to pump to keep up your supply, to feel more comfortable and prevent a breast infection etc. But that doesn't mean the milk is "bad" if you wait too long.

While I see what you are saying and I agree with it. My sister honestly (don't know if she still does) thought that my milk would spoil and be bad for my baby, this I remember very clearly. I don't remember if she ever said how long it took to spoil and I never questioned her on her opinion. I should see her next week and if I remember I'll ask her about it.

It is very interesting to me how things that are true can become so intertwined with myth and how things that were never true become truth through repition. I think many of these myths have been repeated so often and for so long that people now take them for truth no matter how rediculous they are.


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## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Robin926*
My friend (who actually has just discovered she is pregnant) was making those 'I'll run off with your baby' comments when DS was a couple months old. When I said she couldn't feed him, she just said 'formula.' Then she goes to, 'Well, I'm probably going to have to use formula anyway." "Why?" "Because my breasts are so small." I just started laughing, thinking it was a joke. She was serious... So I got to explain why that wasn't true, but I dunno if she believed me. She also said it'd be so weird to 'go to work lactating and stuff.' I hope she gives it a little more consideration now that she's about to have a baby of her own.

So I'm guessing she'll be getting some "everything you ever wanted/needed to know about bfing" type books?


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## sapphire_chan

1. There's an excavation that found teething toys carved from bone, Sandal Castle. So using bone as a hard substance for teething has been around for quite awhile. Just sort of interesting.

2. A baby shouldn't be able to make the sort of pressure that shatters the bone. The shards of bone are why we shouldn't give any sort of chicken bone to pets. So with a completely cleaned bone, the idea is not as horrifying as one might first think.

Not that any of this matters for me, since as a vegetarian I'm not likely to have bones of any sort available. :LOL

I think it'd be great if there were teething toys made of marble or something for fancy occasions. :LOL


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## pjlioness

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan*
So I'm guessing she'll be getting some "everything you ever wanted/needed to know about bfing" type books?









The book So That's What They're For usually goes over pretty well, IME.


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## pjlioness

When ds was old enough for meat, Dh and I got some organic chicken thighs and gave the bones (with some meat left on them) to ds. He liked them, and it was kinda funny to see a baby gnawing on bones. Of course, if you're a vegetarian, it's not something you're going to do, but it's an ancient practice..what else do you think we humans did before there were freezers and washcloths?
















Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan*
I think it'd be great if there were teething toys made of marble or something for fancy occasions. :LOL

There are sterling sliver and sliverplated rattles and such.


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## mandalamama

some people use these weird little nonsensical, useless phrases. like, if Willow is babbling, they say "tell me all your stories and LIES" ... mostly harmless stuff, some of it superstitious i think. no problems so far.

but yesterday, UGH! the cable guy was here for a long time, re-wiring the whole house, and Willow is sick with rotavirus. i kept my distance, and she was just laying listlessly in my arms as i kept trying to get her to drink something. she was so quiet, which i hate because i know something's wrong when she's quiet. then once she babbled loudly which i thought was wonderful!! and the cable guy said "up to no good already, huh?" i was like, buhhhhhh ... i have no idea what to say to things like that. i honestly don't think people are even referring to the actual child in their presence when nonsense like that comes out of their mouths, you know? because it makes no sense.


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## stinkerpie

We gave our then 10-month old son a stripped-down chicken leg bone to chew on when he was teething two years ago, and he bit it so hard it splintered into several pieces. My husband and I just stared at him for a few seconds before jumping up to grab the pieces from him. That was the end of *that*!

Amy


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## stinkerpie

We gave our then 10-month old son a stripped-down chicken leg bone to chew on when he was teething two years ago, and he bit it so hard it splintered into several pieces. My husband and I just stared at him for a few seconds before jumping up to grab the pieces from him. That was the end of *that*!

Amy


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## paquerette

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mellybean*
some people use these weird little nonsensical, useless phrases. like, if Willow is babbling, they say "tell me all your stories and LIES"

We've gotten "What are you selling?"







: I so wanted to say "Nothing, we're Commies" but I didn't.


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## Robin926

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan*
So I'm guessing she'll be getting some "everything you ever wanted/needed to know about bfing" type books?









Absolutely! I'm also going to send her some AP-friendly but not too preachy books/info to counteract all the negative stuff she's going to hear from her mom and other best friend (I know since I've heard it all before!)

Maybe I'll have a chance to help her learn that gentle mothering can be so much more rewarding!


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## cuddlebug

I have had so many stupid comments. Mostly from ds's old pediatrition. I found a new one because everytime we went there, I left mad.
When ds was 3 days old I went in to get him weighed and the nurse practitioner said 'what your milk hasn't come in yet, it should be in by now. You need to supplament with formula.
That is rediculous. It came in that night.
Then when he was a week old they said oh my gosh he is so yellow, you need to stop breast feeding him and give him formula till it goes away. I told her that I did not want ds have a bottle let alone formula, and she said do you want him to have brain damage. I was so mad. By the way his bilirubin levals didn't get that high, he didn't have to go under lights. Then they told me when I nurse him that I need to do ten minutes on each side, and I said but he normally eats for 40 minutes and she said well after 10 minutes he is just sucking for comfort and it just wastes calories. huh. That doesn't even make sence. Then when he was 4 months they asked if he was sleeping through the night yet, and I said no, and I don't expect him to and she said, well he needs to be sleeping 7-11 hours at night and he is just waking up out of habit. You need to give him a bottle with cerial at night to fill his belly so he will sleep longer. See why I found a new doctor.
Then I went to a baby shower of my best friends, and there were two other babies there the same age as my baby, and the other two babies cried a few times, while ds was completly comtent and ate and slept in the sling and the mother of the m-t-b asked if he ever cries, and I said no not really, and she said maybe he can't feel pain, you should have that checked out.
On a good note. My grandmother thinks everything we are doing is wonderful and told me that she slept with all her babies and she thinks it's great I'm making ds's food, and she commented on how she thought he was so content because he is always with mommy and is unschedualed.
Yvonne


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## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *paquerette*
We've gotten "What are you selling?"







: I so wanted to say "Nothing, we're Commies" but I didn't.









: I would have said it... but I love shock value









Cuddlebug- that ped office is SCARY I'm glad you knew better than to listen to them and got the heck out of there. btw, I







your grandma







My granny is an old country gal (she's 78) and while she never had any children of her own she was the oldest girl of 6 kids, all homebirthed, all breastfed (except her, for some reason she wouldn't tolerate it I suspect food allergies, so she was fed goat's milk) and I think she is the only person who has never made a negative comment about any of our parenting decisions.


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## indiana ima

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CryPixie83*
My granny is an old country gal (she's 78) and while she never had any children of her own...

so she's your Granny in what sense? i mean, not that it is terribly important or anything, but i AM curious!


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## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *indiana ima*
so she's your Granny in what sense? i mean, not that it is terribly important or anything, but i AM curious!









LOL I guess that would make a person curious... biologically she's my great-aunt (mom's dad's sister) but she raised me most of my life (adopted me when I was in like 3rd grade) and my mom is still in my life (well, most of the time lol) and we just call her granny because it got confusing calling them both "mom". Of course all my friends and family call her granny too,


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## Robin926

Hmm... I could've sworn that I made this post earlier. Who knows, maybe I forgot to submit it!! With an active kiddo, it wouldn't surprise me...

Anyway, I remembered a couple more things I wanted to add.

At Thanksgiving, DS was TWO MONTHS OLD. A cousin was holding him, and he was getting fussy and hungry. As I was on my way across the room to get him, my grandma called out, 'Oh he's hungry because he's smelling all this food. Put a piece of turkey in his mouth!!'







Needless to say, that didn't happen.

When DS was around that age, also, my MIL told me one day: 'FIL and I were talking, and I was wondering if you found a formula you like to give him yet. Because, you know, a breast can only hold so much, and what if he's still hungry?' I was tired and just wanted her outta my house that day, so I didn't say anything. The sad part is, she breastfed her kids! She should've known better. Of couse, she also let her doc induce her 4th because she 'looked so hot and uncomfortable' without asking any questions. It was October, btw.

And here's a good comment! At Christmas, DH and I went to his grandma's with DS and stayed all night. DH's younger cousin, Tori, was 10 at the time. She wanted to be with DS every second, and she came into the room with me every time I nursed him. Later that night she told her mom, 'I want to learn how to breastfeed!'







I told her when she's MUCh older and has children, I'd love to teach her


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## shelley4

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Robin926*
And here's a good comment! At Christmas, DH and I went to his grandma's with DS and stayed all night. DH's younger cousin, Tori, was 10 at the time. She wanted to be with DS every second, and she came into the room with me every time I nursed him. Later that night she told her mom, 'I want to learn how to breastfeed!'







I told her when she's MUCh older and has children, I'd love to teach her










now, i'd love to get more comments like that! i love how my son says that he's gonna nurse his babies, and how both my DS and DD nurse thier baby dolls and animals and everything ... my DD insists that i nurse her baby first, then nurse her (sometimes she even wants me to tandem nurse her and her animals on the same breast LOL wonder if she has happy memories of tandem'ing with her brother when she was a baby)...makes me happy that the message is at least getting across to the next generation! (well, in BF families)


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## NYCVeg

OK, I've been dying to post this, but terrified it will be found. I'll do it anyway. Names have been changed to protect the guilty.

Friend 1, "Nancy," has twin boys; one has problems and ends up in the NICU. She's allowed to go home with ds1, but ds2 has to stay at the hospital for a couple of weeks.

So, I'm talking to another friend, "Lucy," who has a babe of her own.

Me: Gosh, it must be so tough to just go home with just one of them, while the other has to stay in the hospital.
Lucy: Oh, I don't know. It's SUCH an adjustment having a baby. At least now they'll have time to get used to it before they have to manage TWO.


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## Pepper

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cuddlebug*
Then I went to a baby shower of my best friends, and there were two other babies there the same age as my baby, and the other two babies cried a few times, while ds was completly comtent and ate and slept in the sling and the mother of the m-t-b asked if he ever cries, and I said no not really, and she said maybe he can't feel pain, you should have that checked out.

:LOL Can't feel pain? that's hysterical! (but sad for the other babies







) oh, the rampant cluelessness....


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## alegna

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NYCVeg*
Me: Gosh, it must be so tough to just go home with just one of them, while the other has to stay in the hospital.
Lucy: Oh, I don't know. It's SUCH an adjustment having a baby. At least now they'll have time to get used to it before they have to manage TWO.
























My SIL had preemie twins at 32 weeks. One went home a week or so before the other- she said the SAME THING. She was SO glad she just brought one home at first. She even said that if she'd pushed they would have probably let her bring the other home, but she just wasn't ready.....

arg. some people.

-Angela


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## waterdaughter

After the birth of my son eight months ago ( with an unplanned, unwanted cesearean...and I had midwives! ) my doc came in to release me from the hospital. I said my goodbyes and before he left he turned back, saw Aidan nursing peacefully, and said ( his final words ), "Don't let him use you for a pacifier."
Huh? I'm still can't understand why I wouldn't want my son to gain comfort from me in that way! Ridiculous. I also get a lot of the "You better get him used to the bottle in case he needs to spend overnight somewhere..." Like I'm going to introduce him regularly to a bottle just to fit my social schedule. At my baby shower, we passed around a book of tips that other moms could write in, helpful advice, etc. My oldest sister wrote on the section for sleping, in capital leters, "NEVER let him sleep with you!"


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## UptownZoo

What a great thread! I've always wondered what it is about pregnancy, babies, and little kids that makes people think it's OK to just start bossing parents around. I'm pretty adamant that my choices are right for my family, and I think that some parenting practices really are better for kids than others, but I would never presume to start telling another parent how to raise her kid!

Anyway, I have three kids and a step-son and I've gotten plenty of insensitive, obnoxious comments over the past 12 years, but the ones that were really painful had to do with my youngest child, Carter, who's almost three. Carter redefined high-needs. He cried almost all his waking hours, and since he slept little, that was a lot of hours! It was shocking and terrifying (and the whole saga is a story or twelve unto itself), but the way people responded was sooo unhelpful!

The first really lousy comment I got was from my FIL. He's a big insensitive jerk anyway, but when Carter was about 2 weeks old, he managed to get me on the phone (I don't let THAT happen often!) and I was telling him how much Carter cried. His comment was, "Well, he's just decided that he's gonna be boss of the house, and you have to teach him that you won't let him." I was stunned speechless. My 2 week old *decided*?

So then the ILs get up in arms that we never intended to give Carter any formula. They were just convinced that this was because we couldn't afford it (we couldn't, but we were on WIC so obviously I could have gotten it if I wanted it). So they start in on me, sending me links to websites where you can mail-order formula and telling me, just choose the brand you want, we'll have it sent to you! That turned into a big issue since we of course refused and they b*tched to my SIL about how ungrateful I am, yadda yadda yadda.

Same issue with the crib. "Let us send you some money. That baby needs a bed! Where's he gonna sleep, on the floor?" Um, no. But whatever. Instead of fighting, we actually let them send the money. We used it to buy a futon and put it in our room; sometimes Carter slept on it, and sometimes DH slept on it. The next time they came to visit, they were fit to be tied because we hadn't bought a crib.

My ILs bought Carter a Chicken Dance Elmo (??!?) because they had heard it would "cure" fussy babies. WTH? And I got to be the ungrateful DIL again when it didn't work. Big surprise there.

By far the worst, though, was the total lack of sympathy for the nightmare I was living. People would ask how things were going, or if Carter was a "good" baby, or whatever, and I was way, way too strung out to just politely say "fine" and get on with it. I would usually say something like, "Carter is having a hard time adjusting to life on the outside. We're really struggling." The response I *wanted* was this: "Wow, I'm sorry. That must be really hard. Is there anything I can do to help?" But no. What I got was:

*Well, it's a baby's right to cry. (When did this become a question about rights?)
*You wanted to have a baby!
*Were your other kids like this? (Real question: Did you do wrong to your other kids what you're doing wrong to this one?)
*Maybe he doesn't like that thing. (Said with a disapproving finger jabbing at my sling.)
*Nobody said having a baby would be easy!
*Well, sleeping with him and holding him all the time is spoiling him.
*And the ever popular (drum roll, please) Maybe he doesn't like your milk. Have you tried him on formula?

It was so constant, the endless barrage of comments that blamed me for his extreme neediness, that I practically became a recluse. It was awful.

When I was pregnant with my first child and got a taste of all the competitive, spiteful, obnoxious crap that people spew at you when you're expecting, I promised myself that I would never, ever be like that. And I'm proud to say I never have. I try to be encouraging with pregnant women and new moms, without ever pushing anything at them. Mothering is this hugely emotional experience, especially at the beginning, and it would be nice if at least other mothers would be gentle and loving instead of judgmental and snarky.


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## boingo82

Oh, Adrienne, I am sorry you had such a hard time. People can be so insensitive too. And the last thing you need as a new mom is people blaming you for your child's colic and high-needs.


----------



## heathenmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *waterdaughter*
My oldest sister wrote on the section for sleping, in capital leters, "NEVER let him sleep with you!"

My sister was this way, too. I just found out that she told dh, rather disapprovingly, that HER kids never spent ONE NIGHT in bed with her .... they came home and went straight into the crib.









DH said that he didn't see a point in saying anything to her, but just couldn't understand how anybody could do that to a baby.


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## peacefulmom

"everytime I see you you aer holding a kid of yours..do you ever put them down....

"just once I would like to see you without a baby in yourarms"


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *peacefulmom*
"just once I would like to see you without a baby in yourarms"

Why??? I don't understand what people's problems are with a parent actually holding their children?







:


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## Nora'sMama

OK, these are from my mom. Let me just preface them by saying that my mom, while she did not raise us "AP" in most ways, was and is a great mom and a very warm and loving person. But sometimes she just says things that really p*ss me off.

So we were over at her house a couple of weeks ago - DD was 6 or 7 weeks old. We had been planning to go shopping and take DD. But she and DH decided it would be better to leave DD with DH. I am EBF and don't pump (haven't had a reason to) so I was hesitant to leave her even for an hour for that reason...but I also just didn't want to leave her. My mom pressured me into going with her anyway. She seemed to think it was really important and the subtext was that if I couldn't even leave DD for 45 minutes, I was an obsessive mom with an unhealthy need to be with DD all the time.

It was a miserable trip, my stomach was in knots, and I was so glad to get back (DD was fine with DH and had not wanted to eat, thank God).

I felt quite resentful of my mom (and to some extent, DH) for pressuring me into leaving her and I talked about it with my mom. Some of the things she said:

--it's not "healthy" that I haven't left DD yet (or maybe she phrased it that it was "healthy" to leave her for a few minutes now and then, which is less irksome somehow...I don't remember)

--she is not "brand-new" anymore (?!? - she was 7 weeks old!)

--"What if you HAD to leave her for some reason?" -- um, then I would HAVE to. I don't see why I should leave her when I DON'T have to or want to...will DD take some future absence easier because I left her before? I don't think so.

--"Mothering is all about letting go a little bit more every day"...um, at 7 weeks old you are supposed to start letting go?? This one really made me mad.

--"She is not yours, you know" (meaning that DD is her own person who belongs to herself...duh.)

Later I told her that we would just have to agree to disagree on certain aspects of parenting, and she said that she wouldn't have said anything if she didn't feel that it was *really* important. And I know this is true. She is actually very laid-back and non-critical...NOT someone who just picks on things to pick at them...so I guess what bothered me more than anything is that she truly feels I am doing something really wrong with DD by being so unwilling to leave her.

I think my mother is seriously afraid that because I carry DD all the time and do not want to be separated from her, that I will end up being one of those hovering mothers who does not let their 12-year-old have a sleepover at their friends' house and who tries to keep their kids from going to camp/college/study abroad/what-have-you. This is ludicrous to me...the way I parent DD when she is a tiny infant does not (to me) have much to do with the way I will parent her when she is in grade school, high school, etc...except that I will always respect her and the level of her development!

Because I have such a close relationship with my mom, and because I constantly ask her advice on non-controversial subjects, I have found it very hard to know what to say when she makes comments that hurt my heart (like the ones above) or just make me MAD. I wish I knew what to say that would convince her that I am doing the right thing, or barring that, convince her that she needs to keep her mouth shut about how I parent unless I ask her for specific advice.

I think it's just going to get more difficult as time goes on...if she is worried that I don't want to leave my 7-week-old to go shopping, she will think I am totally nuts as DD gets older and I don't leave her with her grandparents for the day. I foresee lots of hurt feelings in the future on both sides.


----------



## RedPony

Okay, I wanted to just quote your entire post







. I am not a mama yet, but having watched my mom grandparent for the past almost thirteen years (!!!) and soon to have my own children... um, are you my long lost sister? :LOL

I have heard most, if not ALL, of these things from my mother over the years about my sibs and their kids. Yes, I have fears! I LOVE my mom very dearly, but she is not into AP parenting, she's very much into schedules, and she's all about raising "independent" children. I know. I was one.









I was, for the most part, emotionally neglected as little kid. I do NOT want to raise my child that way. Therefore, I take everything from my mom with a grain of salt. Some of it may work for me, some definately won't. But, I simply will not parent by someone else's guidelines. EVER.

I think you're feelings are right on! I'm sorry your mom is like that. Try to keep the lines of communication open. She probably just wants to make sure you have the knowledge to be the best parent you can be! (Even if it is slightly skewed.)


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## Pepper

nak

Nora's Mama, it sounds like your mom is simply threatened by your ap parenting style. I've found this to be so common! She sees that you are making parenting choices that are different from what she made and that threatens her.

I would avoid getting into future discussions on these matters with her to keep your relationship a good one. Simply tell her that you disagree with what she's saying and would like to leave it at that.

you are RIGHT - keep following those instincts! she is sadly, wrong.


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## catnip

Quote:


Originally Posted by *peacefulmom*
"everytime I see you you aer holding a kid of yours..do you ever put them down....

"just once I would like to see you without a baby in yourarms"

































































My next door neighbor remarked one evening when DH and I were both outside and DD was not in evidence... I then turned my back to show her DD napping in a mai tei. :LOL


----------



## rachelmarie

I got an interesting one from my mom today. Her and my dad were visiting for the day (they live 2 hours away) and I was talking with her about what it will be like when I have my second child. I'm not pregnant or anything and ds is only 6 months old, but it was just something I was thinking about. Anyway, she says , "Well, you know that it will be different because you won't be able to carry the second one around all the time. You'll just want to put that one in it's crib so you can get stuff done around the house."







WTH? I said, "That's when my sling and mei tai will really come in handy!" This comes after the other day when I was talking to her on the phone and she said that now that ds is older, I should start putting him in his crib so that he can play while I clean or whatever. For one thing, yes, we have a crib but ds does not sleep in it. The only time I lay him in there is when I'm going to wash diapers and he happily looks at his mobile for the 2 minutes that it takes me to put them in the washing machine. My mom is great in so many other ways. I just don't understand this recent fascination with putting ds in his crib all by himself!


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## sweetpea333

the day after i had my baby, and was still in the hospital, my babe started crying and i went to pick her up and my grandmother said, "your going to spoil her" i told her that it wasn't possible to spoil a baby with love!


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## mandalamama

i never had much to talk about here before, but we just spent one day and one night in the hospital (rotavirus) so i have a LOT! the main features, all from RNs or LPNs:

"i read recently a study that says co-sleeping kills 20% of babies ..." yes, i read it too, it was only 11% of a small study population and they didn't mention whether medications, prescription or OTC, or alcohol was involved. (5 nurses at nurses station, young nurse mentioned study, their jaws dropped and their eyes got huge, that was fun at least)

other highlights:
"she'll never sleep on her own, ever"
"you're spoiling her"
"you pick her up too much"
"why is she sleeping on your chest? the crib is right there" (pointing to the f'ing DOG CAGE they call cribs)
"only rectal temperature is accurate" (#1 she's not running a temp and i will tell you when she starts to, #2 her body temp is always 97.4, since she was born, and #3 i brought my Braun ear thermometer and it *matched* their rectal temp of 97.4)
"why won't you feed her the jello?" #1 high-fructose corn syrup and sugar are in the first 3 ingredients, and #2 she's never had it before so why introduce something and if she was allergic, we wouldn't be able to tell while she's sick with something else!
"babies love jello" "babies love cranberry juice" "give her some of the chicken broth, she'll love it" i asked for baby-food applesauce (i.e. no sugar added, they keep saying they have none. next morning, turns out they have plenty!)
"here's a highchair ... why aren't you using it?"
"let her hold her own bottle" ... "if you don't let her hold the bottle that's why she isn't drinking enough"
"she's dressed too warm" "she's dressed too cold" (same hour, 2 diff. nurses)
"you're changing her diaper too much, she'll get a rash" (WHA?!! chronic diarrhea and i'm supposed to let her sit in it??)
"we can't take her BP if you hold her"
"we can't take her temperature if you hold her"
"we can't listen to her tummy (with a stethascope) if you hold her"
"you don't have to stay overnight, we'll take care of her" (every other baby on the floor was alone that night, parents gone, and screaming their tiny little lungs out all night *tears*)
"we'll change her/dress her/feed her for you, why don't you rest"























the 2 pediatric PAs however were on top of things! (when they were there) they said that Willow was in far better condition than any other rotavirus baby they had ever seen, and that it was a miracle she had no diaper rash at all after a week of diarrhea, and that they could see i was getting the max amount of fluids into her, it was just that the virus gets out of control in babies under one year. oh, and co-sleeping is great because at least she never aspirated any vomit in the last week. (they both said that crib-sleepers always aspirate at least a little vomit and then they have to deal with pneumonia on top of the rotavirus). yay for those PAs!









i asked one of the decent nurses, "don't you ever get any attachment parents in here?" she said sadly, "not enough. it's been a few months." she said we were doing exactly what parents should be doing, not to sweat it. so she was nice









i'm still shellshocked at all the crap i was told in the last 36 hours. i mean, i expect medical professionals to at least read AND comprehend some research, you know? i felt like i was stuck on another planet. i mean, what in the hell kind of mother doesn't hold her own baby in the hospital when it's sick???


----------



## janerose

Meli,







s hope Willow is better soon! I can't imagine leaving Emi *alone* in the hospital. Perhaps with DH or my Mom, but even then I can't realistically picture leaving her. And the diaper thing...ugh! Now, I'm not claiming I'm perfect and never forgot to change a diaper while we were out doing errands or something, but to leave a baby who's sick with diarrhea in a poopy diaper is just cruel. You're an awesome mama!


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## kiahnsmum

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mellybean*
"you don't have to stay overnight, we'll take care of her" (every other baby on the floor was alone that night, parents gone, and screaming their tiny little lungs out all night *tears*)
"we'll change her/dress her/feed her for you, why don't you rest"







































One time when i took dd to the doctor he kept asking me hw much she was drinking(fully bf'd) i said i couldnt say cos she was bf'd, he said cant you tell me approximatly, no i said because its not like i can see it coming out. He replied in an extremely exasperated ton 'thats the problem with bf'ing"!


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## mollyeilis

(responding to my comment about people trying to figure out if I was pregnant before the wedding)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zakers_mama*
And it's their business WHY??? it makes WHAT difference in THEIR life?

I have no idea why...they went from grilling us right before our wedding as to when we'd have children (nothing helped make my rehearsal dinner quite like my stepmother asking "do you use protection?" over our spaghetti, right in front of my father) to raising their eyebrows at how fast it happened.







:


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## Thursday Girl

oh when I said I was pregnant at the wedding I had an older lady reply "in my day you would have been shunned"

and a foreign gentleman say "IN my country they kill women for that. it brings shame in the family"

I told him it was a tradition in my family and that my Grandmother, Mother, and brother were all pregnant when they got married. :LOL
then I said "besides don't they kill women who have been raped too?"

he siad yes. i said so you punish the women for something she had no control over she was attacked and raped.







:

he told me that if they didn't kill the woman the whole family wouldn't be respected.







uke

and as for leaving baby in hospital by themselves 'um no way in he ll! would i ever do that. I don't even like being in the hospital by myself why would i do it to my little child?

Courtney


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## Mama Rana

I'm so glad my MIL lives overseas and I only see her a few days out of the year.

after telling her DS (15 mos) has never had chocolate:
MIL--the ice cream just has cookies in it
me--yeah, chocoloate cookies.
MIL--you mean he's never had ANY chocolate?! we'll fix that this week!
me--um, no, he's not having chocolate this week. [turning to dh] he's not having chocolate this week.

another incident:
MIL--he likes the green salad!
me--um, J, he's never had nuts.
MIL--I don't think there's any nuts in this.
me--um, it's made with pistachio pudding.
MIL--oh
[Keep in mind, she had made the salad]










another time I was trying to explain to SIL and BIL why we used cloth. yk, better for the environment, cheaper, better for baby, etc. BIL tried to counter with the "diapers biodegrade". I explained that no they don't, that poop wasn't supposed to go into landfills, that poop wrapped in plastic didn't biodegrade either, etc.
SIL walks away muttering in a snide way, "I never put so much thought into it" I don't think she meant for me to hear, but I replied anyway, "well, I do"


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## pjlioness

Mellybean:

















Hospitals can be so traumatic for babies/kids. I wish more would realize that a parent's presence helps the child. I guess they expect parents to freak out and get in the way. Good for you for staying by her side! You should let the Dr.'s know what the nurses were saying/doing. Maybe they could get the nurses better informed. (Or, send a few articles to the nursing staff on the kids' floor yourself.)

When Alex broke his leg, the hospital staff shooed us out when they put the cast on. Ever since then, Alex has been completely freaked out by and and all medical people and places. (He sprained his arm this Spring, and screamed so hard and loud at the intake nurse that his blood pressure was sky-high.) If I had knownhe would be like this, I would have insisted on being there. They said the room was too small, and it was, but I could have stayed at his head. Next time any medical/dental/etc. staff asks me to leave I will insist on being there. It might be tough for me, but at least I'd know I was helping my dc. Anything to prevent PTSD/S!

Oh, and, BTW, Alex was in the hospital for ~1/2 day after the cast was put on. I cuddled up next to him in the bed while dh sat in the chair and held Robert, who was 8-9 days old. When dh went home, I laid Robert on Alex's other side while he was sleeping. When dh relieved me, he laid on the bed with Alex. I'm glad Alex's leg healed well enough in the cast that they didn't have to put him back in the hospital with his leg in traction. That would have been hell, but I/we would have been there.


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## UptownZoo

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mellybean*

i'm still shellshocked at all the crap i was told in the last 36 hours. i mean, i expect medical professionals to at least read AND comprehend some research, you know? i felt like i was stuck on another planet. i mean, what in the hell kind of mother doesn't hold her own baby in the hospital when it's sick???









I'm so sorry you had to deal with all that! We have a policy in my family (this includes dh and I, our kids, and my parents, who live nearby) - NO person who is in the hospital is EVER left without an adult family member. This includes adults and older children as well as babies. It doesn't make us very popular at hospitals, especially when we insist that we will spend the night with adult patients, but hospital policy is not the law!

We came to this decision because my mom is a nurse, and she's just seen too much crap. Besides, I don't care how old you are, being in the hospital is scary, and when you're sick, and maybe confused because of medicine, well, you just need someone there to comfort and advocate for you!

My 11 year old recently had a hospital stay because of a broken arm that required surgery. Oh, man, did I get crap for staying. I heard at least half a dozen times, "He's not a baby, you know!" Duh. He's almost 5 feet tall! I just started popping off at them, "Maybe not to you, but he'll always be my baby!"

You did right, Mama. Good for you for sticking up to them and doing what you know is right for your baby!


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## heathenmom

:
After Fiona was born, we wanted to check out of the hospital early (we were both perfectly healthy). The hospital said they had to do the pku test before we checked out, even though we all knew that it was invalid until Fiona was at least 48 hrs. old. We had prearranged for our ped to do this a couple of days after we got home ...







. They refused to accept that and said that I could leave any time I wanted, but if we insisted on waiting until she was 48 hrs. old, they were keeping her until then so that THEY could do the test. Like I was going to leave my day-old baby with those awful people!!!































I SO wish I had realized that they really couldn't have stopped us from taking her home when we wanted.







:

Reason 9,462 that the next baby will be born at home.


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## kiahnsmum

Quote:


Originally Posted by *uptownzoo*







I'm so sorry you had to deal with all that! We have a policy in my family (this includes dh and I, our kids, and my parents, who live nearby) - NO person who is in the hospital is EVER left without an adult family member. This includes adults and older children as well as babies. It doesn't make us very popular at hospitals, especially when we insist that we will spend the night with adult patients, but hospital policy is not the law!

We came to this decision because my mom is a nurse, and she's just seen too much crap. Besides, I don't care how old you are, being in the hospital is scary, and when you're sick, and maybe confused because of medicine, well, you just need someone there to comfort and advocate for you!

ITA
This is the same in our family my 60 year old mother stayed at the side of my 90 year old granfathers bedside after he had a stroke







the amount of times she had to correct the doctors was unbelievable, some of the mix-ups with medications would have killed him but they were far from grateful when mum pointed these things out!


----------



## peaceful_mama

Meli--OMG..........I can't believe ANYONE would just LEAVE their LITTLE SICK BABY in the hospital AT ALL, let alone ALL NIGHT!! (I know some ppl have other kids, etc. maybe a single parent might have to if they had more than one kid, but I really doubt EVERY KID in that hospital except Willow was in that situation, ya know?







)

Jell-O WHAT IS IT with people and feeding babies Jell-O?! NOBODY in my family understands why I don't give it to him! Even if it didn't have PORK GELATIN, I wouldn't feed it to him because of the food coloring and SUGAR. And your poor, sick little girl.......somebody correct me if I'm wrong......but don't high-sugar foods make diarrhea WORSE?? I was told once that's why you should use Pedialyte rather than feeding Gatorade, Sprite, or juice.
Plus......a baby w/diarrhea shouldn't be getting fed red Jell-O cause if it came through the same as it went in, which it might, they'd then panic over OMG that might be BLOOD in the diaper and she'd be subjected to a bunch of tests....probably for them to go 'oh it must've been the JELLO...' Not to mention the allergy thing, and it IS VERY possible to be allergic to gelatin.

I can't BELIEVE either they told her you'd cause a rash by CHANGING Her!! grrr and then they'd be







if she had a rash at all saying you didn't change her ENOUGH. Um yeah, let's put YOU in a diaper when you've got diarrhea and leave it awhile......

and the applesauce thing, WHY WHY WHY would they NOT give her that when EVERYONE has told me if your kid has diarrhea bananas, rice, applesauce, toast.

And I have had my baby seen in emergencies by other docs than his reg. ped and even the ER....NEVER have I been NOT allowed to hold my child or at least stand next to him with my arms around him while they do what they need to do. He has ALWAYS had his heart and tummy listened to, temp taken, everything ON MY LAP. And even his ped's office does a forehead-swipe thing, not rectal.

On the subject of rectal temp, I had the oncall ped tell me once someone at the pharmacy would tell me how to do rectal temp and I should ask and do it that way 'because it's the only accurate way.' Later that day, I took him in to the acute care cause it was the weekend and THEY didn't even do it rectally!! The ONLY time my son has had a rectal temp is in the ER. (it was kinda funny, it was the time he'd been SCREAMING at home, but he laughed at them when they felt his tummy and then just laid there babbling to me while they did his rectal temp.)

And this is something ELSE I just thought of.......when I was in high school, I took this vo-tech health career class, you were ready for a CNA test when you got done. One of the things they told us in that class was that you should NOT do a rectal temp on a person with diarrhea. Obviously, it can make things worse........they should've known THAT too.







I can't imagine that would've changed in the past 10 years.........

I hope I NEVER have to deal with a hospital..........hope Willow is feeling better!!


----------



## Kateana

This is a tiny bit off subject, as far as stupid things go, but the rectal temp thing reminded me... My friend had a baby a couple years ago, and when he was sick and crying all the time, they'd take his temp rectally, and it was the only thing that would make him stop crying! It's kindof funny in a strange way... I've never heard of that before!


----------



## boingo82

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kateana*
This is a tiny bit off subject, as far as stupid things go, but the rectal temp thing reminded me... My friend had a baby a couple years ago, and when he was sick and crying all the time, they'd take his temp rectally, and it was the only thing that would make him stop crying! It's kindof funny in a strange way... I've never heard of that before!









Weird. My DS (15 months) tries to stick his finger in his rectum at EVERY diaper change.


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## ERSsmom

My guess is that the baby is curious as to what that feeling is. He is too busy trying to figure it out to cry. But that is funny.


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## Ellp

I did a rotation in Peds (when I was a student nurse) and we were told not to do rectal temps because the thermometer might break off. The hospital we were at did armpit temps and "under the tongues" for the older kids.


----------



## mollyeilis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kiahnsmum*
the amount of times she had to correct the doctors was unbelievable, some of the mix-ups with medications would have killed him but they were far from grateful when mum pointed these things out!

That just reminded me of staying all day many days in a row with a friend who had just had astoundingly serious abdominal surgery (shunt in her bile duct migrated out, into the intestines and out the intestinal wall, causing her to go septic). She had a morphine drip, was nodding off every few minutes, but as it's a teaching hospital, every little while a new intern would come in, practicing their skills in asking questions. Of her. While she was recovering.

She was a good sport about it, but one intern asked a really complicated question and she answered just "off" enough that he understood it in the wrong way, and if I hadn't been there to translate for my friend, the results could have been dreadful.

Back to parenting...when I was 4 I slipped off a geodesic dome play structure, while hanging from my knees (while wearing tights). Bang down right on the top of my head. Got a bad concussion. Had to stay the night in the hospital, and those evil personnel didn't want my mother to stay with me! She went mama-lioness on them and absolutely insisted that she would be staying there and they would like it (back in '73 that kind of thing wasn't done). Knowing what I know now about hospitals, I'm really very glad she did that, even though I was pretty much asleep the whole time.


----------



## LessTraveledBy

I have been treated surprisingly well but now that dd is 4 months old, have something to report...

My dad has mentioned to me twice how I should be starting solids at 4 months. (First of all, that is false, secondly, how is it his business...) He had a little book with 'baby's first recipes and proudly told me that the first one was mashed potatoes made with breast milk. He decided to change the subject when I asked him if he wanted to come over to our place to eat...


----------



## cinnamonamon

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Anumaria*
I have been treated surprisingly well but now that dd is 4 months old, have something to report...

My dad has mentioned to me twice how I should be starting solids at 4 months. (First of all, that is false, secondly, how is it his business...) He had a little book with 'baby's first recipes and proudly told me that the first one was mashed potatoes made with breast milk. He decided to change the subject when I asked him if he wanted to come over to our place to eat...









:LOL That was one of ds1's first meals!


----------



## paquerette

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ellp*
I did a rotation in Peds (when I was a student nurse) and we were told not to do rectal temps because the thermometer might break off.

Did you actually have glass thermometers? I could see that being a problem, but I don't see how they could break those floppy rubbery ones.


----------



## mollyeilis

floppy rubbery thermometers?

(we only see an ND, but she insisted on using the rectal thermometers until his recent 12 month visit...I'm so thankful that she's stopped it, I can actually remember what it felt like to have a rectal temp taken, and that memory is NOT comfortable!)


----------



## paquerette

I have one from Walgreens. It's digital. We do armpit anyway, but it seems pretty indestructable.


----------



## mandalamama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *uptownzoo*







I'm so sorry you had to deal with all that! We have a policy in my family (this includes dh and I, our kids, and my parents, who live nearby) - NO person who is in the hospital is EVER left without an adult family member. This includes adults and older children as well as babies. It doesn't make us very popular at hospitals, especially when we insist that we will spend the night with adult patients, but hospital policy is not the law!

i know what you mean! my husband stayed with me for 5 days when i was pregnant and having pre-eclampsia problems, they hassled us a lot at first but then realized he eas caring for me so they didn't have to, and just forgot about me. (a curse and a blessing) he also stayed the whole time after Willow was born by cesarean, latching her on for me until the spinal wore off, helping me hold her, etc. the nurses did approve of that at least. our policy is the same as your family, we all need to stick together, no one can care for a person better than another family member!

my mom stayed with me EVERY time i was in the hospital as a kid (which was a LOT), even at 17 when i had mono. she took a lot of flak for it, but always she'd say straight to their faces: "MY standard of care is far higher than YOUR standard of care, so i'm not leaving." so i had a very good role model







and it's true, my standard of care WAS far higher! they would have let Willow sit in diarrhea diapers, and they would never have brought anything warmed for her to drink. warm fluids can be very comforting to babies, some may want cold, but when i'm sick i want tea or warm broth, you know? something comfy.


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## Ellp

I've never heard of a rubber floppy thermometers... The hosp. used a digital ear one or one that was a wand connected to a hand held unit. Rectal temp used to be taken with a mercury/glass one. Btw, digital ear ones were/are notoriously unreliable for small babies because you had to aim it just right for an accurate reading.


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## RosieTook

Well dd is 10 months old and my dad STILL has not learned that I will not allow her to be fed junk!!







: Just today he offered to give her a peanut butter cookie and I said no, then he carried her out to the car for me and when she cried as I put her in the carseat he said "see...she'd be happy if I could give her a cookie!"









Yes dad...THAT'S what will make her happy. Never mind that she was in the car for 16 hours almost non stop on mon/tues, then visiting family and in a the car a bit there too, then 16 hours again on thurs/fri, with a stop to wait for 2 hrs in the ferry terminal, then a 2 hour ferry ride, then back in the car, then a sleep at another not so familiar house, then we stopped at dad's house on our way home, which is another 2 hour drive.









Dd was excellent and so well behaved, especially considering we do not have a car and she does not go in the seat much, she is a sling baby 100%...seriously, after all that, I don't think feeding her a cookie containing several possible allergens, including one of the biggies is going to help.







However, nursing her to skeep did wonders. Funny that.









My hospital was funny about the PKU too...a nurse came in and said "I'm here to take her for the pku" Okay, first off, you are not taking her anywhere, if I was having it done you would do it HERE! Second I had just put her to sleep (beside me in the bed, natch







) so no, you can't take her away from me. Thirdly, I had pre arranged with my midwife to have it done at 5 days, and the nurse kept trying to tell me that I HAD to have it done, that I was not "allowed" ( I HATE that word!!!







) to pass on it, that they needed to ensure it was done, that there's no way my mw would have agreed to that.







Then she said she'd have to check with the in charge nurse to see if it was okay. I said "You go do that!"







knowing that whatever the in charge nurse had to say,







I was not letting them do it. She came back and said that it was okay and I said "yes, it is" and she said that they had changed their policy and I said "good for them" and she huffed and puffed (trying to blow my resolve down??







: ) and then left. Seriously. screw your "policy" this is MY baby!!!

I can just imagine what was said about me in the nurses station that day!


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## shelley4

RosieTook .. i love your baby's longies in the pic in your sig







where did you get 'em??

my kids didn't get even one bite of junk until they were over 2.. and even then, it's limited. my almost 4 yr old still has never even tasted pop/soda, and i'll be so proud (and sort of sad?) if he's the only one in his JK class that has never had pop before... and whenever he does, it will be the fruit juice sweetened kind at least.

and yet, family is always asking the same sorts of questions.. 'why can't i give your 1 yr old pop?' 'why can't he have just a bite' ... usually that one bite has milk or something in it.. milk causes DS to break out in severe ezcema, so sure, you *could* give him some, but you're not the one who has to be there when he's crying because he's so itchy that he makes his skin bleed! ... they all know this, but they still ask... i even had to snatch a snack out of DS's hands when he was a toddler, cause (evil) MIL had given him a snack where the first 4 ingredients were either milk ingredients or cheese! she said she didn't know.. i mean, she couldn't even take a second to flip the package over and read the ingredients?? poor DS was so upset about having the snack taken away, and of course, I was the bad one for taking it out of his hands.. it should have never been put *in* his hands. and the other thing that gets me is, if MIL had read the ingredients and told DS that there was milk, DS would have refused to eat it, and not have been upset in the first place


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## ian'smommaya

reading all this tells me again and again tells me what NOT to say when i am a nurse...
maya


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## hopefulfaith

I'm an ER nurse, and I'm nodding my head at the above comments re: what was said by ill-informed nurses...remember that nurses are still only a sample of the population & can be just as badly informed or unknowledgable about AP or even proper parenting....just b/c one has a bit of medical/nursing knowledge doesn't make them spectacular parents! That goes for nurses as well as doctors, as we all know!!!!!!

From a nursing perspective, never never never never never never leave your families alone in a hospital. Obviously, none of us would ever leave our kids alone, but I believe that goes for family members of any age.

In the ED, we see the rottenest of the most rotten parents, and I can't tell you how many times parents have left or tried to leave their kidlets in our department because they "_just want some sleep_" - "_he's been so sick lately, he's kept me up and I'm tired_" ....etc..etc...etc. My all-time favorite - "_I'm tired of taking care of him, and that's what you get paid for, right?_"

Um, yes, pretty much...but you suck as a parent and as a human being. Your baby is not even a year old, and you want to leave him here with me - having met me fifteen minutes ago?

Another favorite: "_Can't you just admit him? I just need some sleep, and I promise I'll be back in the morning_."

Um, no. And you are also a poor excuse for protoplasm.


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## WinterBaby

Please hear their pleas for help in desperation with compassion... reaching the end of their ropes with a sick screaming baby and no sleep, childcare that falls through with the illness, and work they can't afford to miss doesn't make anyone a bad parent, and perhaps a wiser one than some to reach out and ask for the help they need to get through the night without doing something hurtful to that child /shrug. If there were anyone else they could turn to, I imagine they'd have called them to come to the er too...


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## hopefulfaith

Winterbaby, you are right for about 95% of parents, I think, but I tend to lose compassion sometimes when children are brought in uncared for by those 5% of parents who really, really should have thought a little more about having kids.

I have inordinate sympathy for parents who really do try their best through sick kids - *most parents really, really do try* - but I have also been involved in more than my share of outright abuse cases....or even just neglect and poor parenting situations.

Kids who have honestly been left in the ED by their parents for whom we have to call CPS to find them a place to stay for awhile when they can't track them down after leaving (this is heartbreaking, esp. when the child is old enough to know that mom left her and she's going somewhere with a stranger and doesn't know what/why this is happening)....kids who think it's normal to get hit upside the head for the smallest infraction and are afraid the nurses will hit them, too....kids who haven't had Tylenol for their fevers of 103-104 because mom spent her $ on getting her nails done and buying a carton of cigarettes instead....let alone the kids who have asthma/respiratory difficulty whose parents elect to buy cigarettes and smoke around them instead of filling their inhaler prescriptions and trying to at least smoke outside.... The dad who slams his 15 month old into the wall for waking him up, and didn't notice that she didn't wake up until >24 hours later -- when she had such massive intracranial bleeding that she only lived another 2 days. The 5 year old who came in with bruises all over and who asked me, when I took him to a room so I could photograph and document the marks, "Is this where all the kids come for you to take pictures?" -- he honestly didn't know that this doesn't happen to "all" kids.

So, yes, - I really, really know that most parents try their hardest with sick kids - I was raised by a single mom who couldn't miss work and who had no real child care options, and I am very sympathetic for most parents I deal with. I have kept sleeping kids longer in the ER because they've finally fallen asleep...and sure, they could have gone home, but mom was sleeping on the stretcher with her babe and I wasn't about to wake either of them to give them perfunctory discharge instructions...let them sleep for a few more hours or until mom wakes up and wants to go. I try to be very good about that, remembering that it really is not easy when your baby is sick and you can't call in to work and can't call anyone to come and help you out.

My previous post sounded a little cynical as I was thinking about the small minority of parents who don't deserve that title at all, and it brings it even harder home to me now, as I become a parent for the first time. I apologize if I sounded inconsiderate or unfeeling, but I think that is likely part of it - oftentimes, we feel "too much" for our patients, and I can't help but be sad for some of these kids who just aren't starting out with the kind of chances that moms here on MDC give their wee ones. This is a small minority, however, because I think most parents really do try to do well by their kids. There will always be that group, though. My job is to try and make it easier for their kidlets.

*Apologies for going so far OT. Back to your regularly scheduled discussion of silly things people tell us about childbearing and raising our children!!*


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## JSerene

Sorry to keep us off topic, but just had to say that your response was very thoughtful and true. As an RN I think it's so sad when I see people using the pediatric unit as a babysitter. It's not cynical or uncaring, it's true. Not all mamas have their children's best interests at heart.









Okay, get back on topic. thanks.


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## green betty

Whew, I have been reading this thread for months now and thinking about what to add. I've gotten a lot of the more popular comments, both from family and strangers. I'm pretty good at letting them roll off my back--I try to think of myself as an "ambassador of AP" and be kind and gracious. Most people who criticize my style can't help but notice what a happy, healthy, social baby ds is! So I figure that the proof is in the pudding, and if I'm acting nice they don't have an excuse to discount me.

This RN chat, however, reminds me of one of the most irritating comments I've gotten. 3 days after he was born ds got sent to the NICU for severe jaundice and was in an incubator for almost 5 days. It was a horrible, awful, no good time for me. The first 12 hours they wouldn't let me take him out at all, and after that only for 15 minutes every 3 hours to nurse. I ended up mostly pumping and feeding him a bottle in the incubator. Well, let me tell you the nurses all thought I was so strange for insisting on sitting next to the incubator all the time talking to him and holding his foot! They treated me like I was hysterical. One nurse tried to talk me into going to sleep for the whole night and letting her give him his bottle. "It's not like you'd be holding him all the time if you were at home," she said. "Yes, I would!" I replied. "I believe in attachment parenting." She assured me that as soon as I got him home I'd get over that--she knew because she had five kids.

Well, compared to the other parents I guess I was pretty strange. There was one preemie there whose parents came for 45 minutes every day after the dad got off work and then went home for dinner and that was IT. I was appalled.


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## Lousli

Quote:


Originally Posted by *uuelisabeth*
Well, compared to the other parents I guess I was pretty strange. There was one preemie there whose parents came for 45 minutes every day after the dad got off work and then went home for dinner and that was IT. I was appalled.

I have to comment on this. It is hard to know what their situtation was. I know many parents who had children transferred to a hospital with a better NICU, but it was several hours away from their home. A couple with twins that had one sent home a few weeks before the other and had to divide time between them. I had another child at home who had never been away from me overnight before then I suddenly became ill, had the baby early, and the baby was hooked up to wires and tubes that frightened my older child. I too had to divide my time between them.

And when your child is in the NICU for weeks on end, it can be emotionally draining. As hard as it sounds, there were days when I had to drag myself there for my daughter's sake. I felt I couldn't handle another car trip home by myself. At the beginning, they fed her through a tube and she was under bili lights, so I couldn't hold her much. I sat next to her for as long as I could, but sometimes I had to go home and be with my other child.

So don't be appalled. Really, sometimes parents are doing the best they can in their circumstances.


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## Kathryn

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hopefulfaith*
you are also a poor excuse for protoplasm.









: Oh my gosh. I snorted root beer through my nose. That was so funny to me. Mind if I use it?


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## hopefulfaith

It's all yours, Kathryn.








Sometimes it just sums up the situation at hand.

Re: the pp - I've never worked in a NICU, but my heart breaks for those mommies who have to leave their babies there...many, many hugs. I can't imagine how difficult that must be -- especially when you've been waiting all that time for them to come! I'm 38w along, and I can't wait for this baby - and to have to leave your munchkin in an isolette would be so sad. ((Hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs!!!))

Hooray for mamas who do the best they can!!
And, again, I do think that goes for the vast majority of mamas.


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## Shenjall

Quote:

So don't be apalled. Really, sometimes parents are doing the best they can in their circumstances.
Thank you Lousli for saying this. (your whole post actually!)

Being a mom to a former preemie, I just wanted to give you a big hug!


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## nikirj

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lousli*
So don't be appalled. Really, sometimes parents are doing the best they can in their circumstances.

Yes. My DH's aunt, a woman we agree with very much parenting-wise, had a baby in the NICU. This wonderful woman simply COULD NOT be there all the time, as she has FIVE children, the eldest of which is 7 years old. They were sick with the same virus that got the youngest in the NICU, and I, just a week from my due date, could not risk infection, nor could my MIL who works with immunocompromised patients and is her usual babysitter. She had moved across the country just a week before, her husband had just started a new job, and their support system, extensive in their former home, was nonextistant. Her older second-eldest told me "mommy cries all the time now, because she loves my baby sister but she is in the hospital and she can't go there until Daddy gets home". They ran themselves RAGGED trying to fill everyone's needs, making sure the older children didn't get lost in the shuffle. Her husband began calling people the wrong names, falling asleep over dinner and at work.

You just never know.


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## indiana ima

that's a really sad story, Niki.









it reminds me of a different story. my spouse used to be a chaplain in a pediatric unit. there was a baby boy there, for the very, very long term, because he had what is called a "short gut". iow, he was born without all of the necessary intestines. he was going to need many surgeries and a lot of good luck before he was going to leave the hospital to live with his parents.

my spouse worked approximately 9 to 5 and never saw this baby's mama or papa. the baby was a sweetie and all the folks in pediatrics loved him. finally, my spouse asked a nurse why the baby's family never came to see him. well, the nurse was appalled. apparently, the baby's mama worked all day and then took the bus to the hospital every evening after work and spent the entire evening with her son. then she went home to sleep and srated all over. and she spent pretty much the whole weekend with her son, too. my spouse just wasn't there when she was there, so he didn't know. oops.


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## WinterBaby

Gosh, we took a detour here







Well, now that we've established most parents to what they can to their limits for a sick child, and RNs see some unpleasantness that can make the most positive people feel terribly jaded, I'll throw some goofiness I heard in...

My sister's elderly friend was watching her early walker and told her... Not to let the baby walk, it would make her bow-legged. I wasn't sure whether we were supposed to trip the baby or tie her shoes together


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## MelissaEvans

A few nights ago, DH, DS, and I went out to a resturant. As we were walking in, an older gentleman was walking out. He saw DS (I was holding him) and commented, "So, you're finally going to get a good meal so you can grow, huh?" Or something like that. I think he was trying to be converstaional, but I just wanted to point out that I really do feed my child. Instead, I laughed and told him DS is huge for his age. It was just kinda odd.


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## RedPony

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WinterBaby*
I wasn't sure whether we were supposed to trip the baby or tie her shoes together









:LOL Trip the babe first, then tie her shoes together so she can't get back up!


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## maxomom

This is such a funny thread! I love it!

When I was 7 months pregnant, a guy came up to me, completely straight faced and said, "You know you have special powers now!"
What did I say? I had to go along with it, "Yes, I know!"
And he just turned and walked away!
So, in case you were wondering, Prego IS a superhero, and she has special powers, like creating babies, and nursing, and consuming massive amounts of food! For the rest of my pregnancy I thought of myself as a superhero... It worked, my labor was only 3 hours, and this is my first baby!


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## Thursday Girl

maxomom that has got to be one of the coolest ones!

My neighbor across the street (he's a drunk) told my DH that baies have taste buds on the bottom of there feet and that's why they always want to be barefoot.


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## Elizabuddy'smama

When dd was a newborn in the hospital, the nursery nurse told me I needed to give my baby a bottle because babies should know how to be bottlefed. At two days pp, she said to me, "What if you are hurt in a car accident and your baby can't take a bottle?"
















I could not believe this woman was liscensed to take care of babies and give advice to mothers. What a moron.


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## catnip

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Elizabuddy'smama*
When dd was a newborn in the hospital, the nursery nurse told me I needed to give my baby a bottle because babies should know how to be bottlefed. At two days pp, she said to me, "What if you are hurt in a car accident and your baby can't take a bottle?"
















I could not believe this woman was liscensed to take care of babies and give advice to mothers. What a moron.

I've heard this a bunch of times from numerous folk about my DD. I've got some gallbladder problems and will probably need surgery at some point, and I do worry a little bit about what would happen if I were hospitalized, but I'm sure glad DD doesn't take a bottle, because if it were easy to give up on breastfeeding I would have by now.


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## Robin926

I thought of one more that isn't funny at all.. just awful.

When DS was about two days old, MIL and FIL were at our house (they wouldn't go away no matter what we did!), and I mentioned that DS had his cord wrapped around himself in utero. Because of the cord, he had a growth retardation and was a little too skinny for his head size and length. He never showed signs of distress so we had no idea, and he's perfectly healthy and MORE than caught up in weight!

When we mentioned it, FIL just nods and says, "Yeah, my cousin's baby DIED because the cord was wrapped around its neck."

Yeah that's a great thing to say to a woman who just gave birth TWO DAYS AGO.







:


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## green betty

Wow, it looks like I really touched a nerve with my comment about the baby in the NICU whose parents only visited for 45 minutes a day. I can understand that this is a sensitive topic for parents of preemies. I watched my brother go through a tortuous time with his daughters, born at 30 weeks and 33 weeks, so I have an inkling. He also was only able to visit after work and spent his evenings in the hospital for months. It was incredibly draining for him. All of you with similar experiences have my sincere sympathies.

I do, however, have a great deal more background info on the couple I mentioned in my previous post. I was very friendly with all the other parents there and got to know their situations in detail. The mother lived close by and spent her days at home; the father worked during the day and spent most of the evening at home after their brief visits. I think that they did not know how to deal with having an ill baby and felt helpless to do anything when they were with her. They just weren't emotionally equipped to deal with the situation. And while I felt for them and thought that it must have been very difficult... my empathies for the parents hardly compare for the empathy I had for their ill, lonely child.


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## Lousli

Never mind.


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## threeforme2005

She wasn't saying that in a rude way. Lousli is a very sweet mama and she didn't mean it the way you took it. There is no need to get so defensive about this.


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## shannon0218

You know, if you wanted people to assume that you knew the people and their situation well--perhaps you should have mentioned it in your post--that way these little mishaps don't happen. Do you know anything about Lousli??? Do you know what she went through?? Do you have any idea what an amazing mama she is--always wanting to help out others?? Well I do and I'll tell you something, she's a sweet mama who I for one strive to emulate.


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## green betty

Lousli, I am sorry I insulted you. I went and read a bunch of your other posts and you do seem like a very nice person indeed. I overreacted to a comment you made that touched a nerve of MINE. I hope it makes you feel better to know you have such caring and passionate friends here!

Shannon, I didn't expect anyone to _assume_ that I knew a lot about the people in this situation. Nor did I expect them to assume that I knew nothing at all and was making an uneducated judgement.

I also apologize to everyone else here for this unpleasant, OT diversion! Can we please get back to the regular rants?


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## paquerette

Okay, I've got a good one!

Last night my friend asked me if I was going to get one of those baby carriers with a handle because my 6 mo is getting too big for the sling. :LOL I explained that she's almost outgrown the bucket seat in fact, and that it's bloody heavy, and I have plenty of slinging options that will get me through at least another year, and well, she's not luggage. She offered to carry it for me while we went out. Said that she'd be so much happier in the seat because she could see everything.







And that at least if she fusses, she'll be "over there" instead of right on me.







: I explained that I would not leave her fussing in anything, so that wouldn't make much of a difference, and if I wanted to put her in something while we were out, I'd get a high chair, where at least she could look around.

This friend has been all over me lately that the baby gets crabby because I'm holding her. Um, no. She gets crabby because we're getting dragged out of the house in the evening when she's starting to melt down from not sleeping, wants to nurse but is too distracted, and she just plain likes being home. For some reason it's supposed to be for my own good to "get out of the house" even though it stresses me and the baby out more than anything. I'd much rather get out in the morning/early afternoon, just the two of us. But nobody listens to what I want; they're too busy telling me what I want.


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## sapphire_chan

"What if you are hurt in a car accident and your baby can't take a bottle?"[IMG alt="" said:


> http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/blahblah.gif[/IMG]
> QUOTE]
> 
> "Do you mean this hosipital has no way to feed babies that aren't willing/able to take a bottle? You know, methods for feeding babies after their mothers die have been available for centuries. Now we have a modern version, it's pretty technical, but maybe you've heard of it, it's called an 'eyedropper'."


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## sapphire_chan

What is it about baby buckets? I mean, hardly anyone in America would dream of doing their shopping with just a basket, why on earth do people put up with those awkward clunky things? I'd be bruised all over if I had to carry one regularly. Of course, I'd also have stronger arms, hmmm, nah, I stick with my "carrying lots of books" workout :LOL


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## Childishgoth

somehow my subscribing went away so doing it again!


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## Thursday Girl

what is it with people assuming your child is a certain way b/c they have seen the child once in a month?? I ad a friend who said my daughter was clingy and had seperation issues (b/c i was still BF). She saw may daughter not even once a month. always at her house with a lot of people she (my dd) did not know and it was always close to bedtime/


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## mollyeilis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *paquerette*
Said that she'd be so much happier in the seat because she could see everything.







And that at least if she fusses, she'll be "over there" instead of right on me.

Your friend sure does seem to have reality reversed, doesn't she?

Due to height, my baby was out of his infant seat before he was 4 months old...DH and I each carried him exactly one time in "the bucket". It was insanely heavy, and I don't know why people think it's more convenient! And even from infancy he hated being so far reclined so he'd fuss more in it.









****
This is sort of the opposite of the intent of the list, but my mother in law makes so many comments (that she doesn't even believe in, it's conditioning from her husband's OLD beliefs on child-rearing that she's taken on as her own) on a regular basis that I'm astounded to say she didn't make ONE comment yesterday! It was shocking.

So maybe there's hope for others!


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## Khadijah

I was told by this girl that i know. She is 28 with a 2yearold daughter that is just terrible. Anyway I was changing my son whos 3months he pooped and she told me you dont have to change him so quick, i let my daughter stay in it alittle while. I lookd at her like she was crazzy and told her i dont do that. I change my son everytime he goes.


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## Robin926

Quote:

I was told by this girl that i know. She is 28 with a 2yearold daughter that is just terrible. Anyway I was changing my son whos 3months he pooped and she told me you dont have to change him so quick, i let my daughter stay in it alittle while. I lookd at her like she was crazzy and told her i dont do that. I change my son everytime he goes
Ohhh that reminds me of a girl I knew a couple years ago. She had a DS and DD under two years old (15 months apart actually). I helped her a lot with her kids because both our DHs were in the Marine Corps and in Iraq. I was even there for the birth of her DD. Anyway, she told me one day that she made her DS pee in his diaper (disposables, of course) at least 3-4 times because they were just too expensive to change every time he went. She brought him to my house to keep overnight (from 5 am until about noon the next day) with SEVEN diapers! She would routinely leave the house and go somewhere, even an hour away or more, without taking diapers or wipes because she wasn't planning on changing her DC while out.







And she swore her DS's frequent rashes were because his bum got used to the "good" diapers that his dad insisted on buying when he was a baby (the expensive Pampers with aloe), because of course it had nothing to do that he was sitting in his wetness for hours!

I never realized that a lot of the things she did were so awful until I was pregnant and started reading on my own. She also bottle propped and a lot of other things that I would never dream of. It's sad what some people aren't willing to do for their children because it's inconvenient.

Ohhh speaking of her, that reminds me of a dumb comment she made too (to keep on topic here!): She told me when her DS was a little over a year old that you should never ever give a small child water because it was just awful for them! She even said that a friend of hers that taught her kids to drink water was going to make them sick. Then she proceeded to dilute her son's juice (which he drank constantly throughout the day) with half water! And what else was she mixing his formula with when he was an infant?







She also gave him soda at one year old, because, you know, that's a lot better for him than water.


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## sweetpeasmom

Quote:

So don't be appalled. Really, sometimes parents are doing the best they can in their circumstances.
totally agree. My dd spent 102 days in the NICU and it was hard to get there. I also had a 2 yr old dd to take care of, which i had to find a babysitter to watch while i went down. Not always possible. Some days only could spend an hr there, plus with all the driving back and forth. I can easilt understand how some parents just can't spend the time there.


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## Sierra

I can't believe how long this thread is! I admit I haven't had time to read the entire thing, but I've read pages and pages here and there. As I was reading and thinking back on some comments people make to me, I was surprised and delighted to realize that I am much more light-hearted then I give myself credit for. I often think I am too serious. Such a downer. But now that I think about it, I don't worry too much about people's comments.

People have been asking me ever since my current foster son was two weeks (he's three and a half months now) if he sleeps through the night. I have always just assumed they are trying to relate to the tribulations of parenting a young baby, and so I usually just give them a little something to connect. "Pretty much. He wakes up to feed every three or four hours, since his stomach is still so small at this age, but he doesn't wake up and cry for hours or anything," and usually people follow it up with some kind of personal story like, "When my daughter was his age, I once went to work with two different shoes on. I was so tired all the time!" And it's like a door opens up because parenting a baby is such an intense and very *human* experience.

If the conversation starter looks concerned, after I respond, about how much FS is sleeping, I usually say something like, "In our experience as parents, you don't get to sleep through the night until your kids are adults, and even then you probably will lose some sleep over your kids. It just changes as they get older. We're ready for another 18 years at least of tossing and turning." And that usually diverts any negative comments or CIO suggestions.

We get a lot of "good baby" comments too, and to tell you the truth, I think I've called all of the kids I've parented "good boy," "good girl," or whatever at one point or another. I occassionally will say something to my wife such as, "We have such a good baby," or "What a sweet baby," with FS in my arms. I know there is this whole thing on how praise like that isn't helpful and can be hurtful because it implies comparison, etc. And I am not saying that I say it all the time, or that I don't try to refrain stuff like that. I think my actions, as well as my words, speak pretty loudly to my kids about my beliefs regarding the inherent worth of all people, their worth regardless of their behavior, and so forth. And I am certainly not saying that any baby could be a "bad baby." But sometimes it is just a genuine expression of love and affection. I always just assume that what is meant by a comment like that is, "What a joy to be around this kid!" or "I am being charmed," or whatever. So when people say it about our foster baby, I usually say, "He *is* such a love, isn't he?!" or something of that nature.

Other comments I see as good openers for education. People make all kinds of, "Is he comfortable in there?" kind of comments about FS being in the sling, and it usually opens up a great exchange about how much he loves it-- and how much I love it. And next thing you know, the conversation almost always ends with the conversation starter saying something like, "What a neat thing!"

Anyway, I'm not trying to toot my own horn here. I just have been overcome by this feeling of, "Wow! I am not as hard on people/serious/unapproachable/etc." as I thought I was!
---------------------------------------------------------------

Having said that, I've got one...hang on...


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## Sierra

Okay, a really funny-- though not at all bothersome to me-- comment came from a young male grocery clerk when I was out buying some supplies for foster son when he was a week and a half or two weeks old. I had FS with me. He was sleeping in his car seat, which was in the grocery cart, by the way because he was sleeping nicely in there and I didn't want to disturb him by unbuckling him to get him in the sling. The grocery clerk asked me how old FS was, and I told him. Then he said, "I'm surprised you are out and about!" For a split second, I was kind of confused, and then I said, "Do you mean you are surprised because most mothers aren't running errands so soon after birth," and he said yes. Then I said something like, "Well, that's probably true for most mothers, but I didn't give birth." And then I added, "We needed some supplies, so I thought we could manage a little trip to the store."

It made me chuckle later.

Little did the store clerk know that sadly I was still going to work everyday while FS was in NICU (my wife and I did "shifts" at the hospital) and that maternity leave isn't usually feasible for foster parents, even when the intention is to adopt the child (that's our hope with this baby). So even if I had wanted to stay home and make other people run the errands, I really didn't have a choice but to continue with life as before. I can't wait 'till I can afford to make DW a stay-at-home mom, which hopefully will be in a few years.

Oh, and one comment that did sort of "get to me," was from a friend of ours, who we had tentatively put down as our children's guardian in our adoptive homestudy but not in our will as we felt like we needed to give the situation more thought. Anyway, this friend works with children but doesn't yet have any (she is planning to start trying after she and her boyfriend get married next summer). She's really sweet and thoughtful with kids, but after the following experience I've had some difficulty relating to her.

So anyway, while FS is in the NICU I start having what some folks call, "post-adoption depression," which in this case since an adoption isn't possible until he is a year (and even then may not happen for various reasons), I would call it "post-placement depression" or even just "post-placement blues." It didn't help that I was on my period, but I think just being mommy to a brand new baby made my hormones go on a rollercoaster ride, not to mention that the call about FS was rather unexpected so life was changing very quickly for us. Plus there was sleep-deprivation, as we were spending all night with FS in the NICU in a rocking chair and on a couple nights when we were very fortunate, in a lounger chair and then once or twice in a bed in a parent "sleep room" only when FS was down for the count. So between no sleep, and becoming mommy to this little dude, and FS's fragile health, and hormonal responses to the above, I was pretty teary.

Once while my DW was at work, I was sitting in the NICU holding FS and starting to feel like he was getting very lethargic. By the time DW came back from work, I was a sobbing mess. She pulled the curtain back to come in to FS's little station, and I just said, "He's dying! He's so lethargic!" and started crying again. Needless to say, I was sent home with orders to get some sleep.

Well, the day after we brought FS home, DW went to work but I took the day off. I started thinking about all these things that needed to get done, both to finish preparations for FS and to just keep up with life (which had been soaring by us while FS was in the NICU). I was realizing that we had forgotten to pay all these bills and didn't want anything to get turned off, and we needed dog food, and the lawn needed to get mowed, and we needed to buy some more bottles, and we needed to decide whether we would order diaper service or just buy some disposables since we didn't know how long FS would be with us...and the list just went on.

I started feeling terribly overwhelmed, and meanwhile, FS was being fussy and really didn't seem happy at all, and I hadn't had time to eat all day, and I was exhausted, and I just burst into tears. Then, in the late afternoon, I decided I just had to call someone and talk to another adult. So I tried my colleague in ministry at the church, and left a blubbering message on his voicemail that probably made no sense, and I also called my mom and did the same on her voicemail. Then I figured I wasn't making any sense, the way I was crying through the messages, so I became determined to stay "pulled together" long enough to leave a coherent message or have a coherent conversation, and I decided to call the friend I described above.

Well, I called and sure enough got her answering machine, and I left what I thought was a very clear message saying that FS was home and that DW was at work, and I was feeling very overwhelmed and happy-beyond-words and down all at the same time, and I could use some company. A half hour later, my friend calls back and says she didn't understand my message at all, so I explain it all over. I say I am thrilled about FS coming home but am feeling overwhelmed and having the blues. She says she is watching a movie with her boyfriend but will come over for a little while (she lives within walking distance). My friend comes over and sees me in my teary state and says, "These are happy tears, right?" and went on to tell me how happy I should be to have FS home, how exciting it was for *her* that he was home, and that she would be so thrilled if she were me.

I think she just said all that because she has never been through being mommy to a newborn, and she probably didn't realize how overwhelming it can be, or that foster/adoptive mothers can get something like postpartum blues even when they really are just so very, very thankful and thrilled and excited and happy about having their babies...but I had really been very clear with her when I called her that I was feeling overwhelmed and a bit blue. So why she asked me if my tears were "happy tears" I am unsure.

She also has talked a lot about how much she wished FS was a girl because she just wants a girl so badly, and oh, wouldn't it be so fun to have a girl baby for her to come visit. I am thrilled either way myself, and I really don't want FS to get "knocked" for being who he is, so we basically told her that we were going to have to reconsider guardianship.


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## Sierra

I know this thread is very long and my previous two posts were long, but I wanted to add a couple of things.

There may be some validity to the red eyebrow thing that someone posted about earlier. Our FS usually has red eyebrows because he has cradle cap both on his scalp and over his eyebrows. However, a grandmotherly lady from the church where I serve in ministry noted one day that he was upset and that his eyebrows had become a brighter red. She said her babies always got red eyebrows when they were upset or especially tired.

I too hate it when people hold FS even when he is crying and I hadn't asked for the help. I love that we have a community of people who are raising our FS together with us, but one or two people (my MIL and one member of the church) have carried it too far by not allowing us to have FS when he worked himself into a screaming rage. One time an hour passed before we were able to pry our baby out of the offender's hands! It doesn't help that we can't just say that we need to feed him, since his food isn't inside our boobs so anyone could technically feed him. From now on, I think I'll just say, "He is trying to say that he needs his mom. I will take it from here. Thanks for your help."

It also bothers me when people make rude comments about the older children we have parented. We had one developmentally delayed teenage son who was developmentally between the ages of 3 and 11 depending on the area of development and his stress level. We would get a lot of rude comments (and stares, which I think had to do both with his behavior and unique look-- he was transgender-- and with the fact that we are young and had a teenage boy calling us "mommy"). For example, once we were out with him and he got really hyped up and excited about something and started laughing this crazy laugh he would do (the kind that preschoolers sometimes do), and this adult man next to us said, "Grow up!" and rolled his eyes. I still fantasize about going back and saying, "*You're* the *adult.*" Sadly, though, I knew that even when this boy became an adult, he would still probably act that way. Anyway, if there is one thing that parenting the children we have parented has taught me, it is that no matter someone's age, whether they are young children or adults, they are shaped by complex factors that no one on the outside can judge.

As for formula feeding, as this has been brought up several times on this thread, I wanted to say this. The other day we were walking into the food co-op with FS in the sling on DW. We decided we should bring in a bottle because FS was likely to get hungry within about fifteen minutes. DW was getting all secretive about the bottle, like it was something to be ashamed of. Finally I was like, "What's up with that?! Formula is his food. We don't need to be ashamed of his food," and DW admitted she was afraid someone would see her bottle-feeding and say something nasty. She really hates any sort of attention, and she equally hates confrontation, and she was really afraid.

I told her that if anyone said anything nasty I would tell them "He's our foster son you jerk!" I am a huge breastfeeding advocate, and I think breastfeeding should be a very mainstream way to feed a child through at least the first year of life, and hopefully beyond. But in our case, the law actually prevents us from breastfeeding (not to mention that we might or might not be able to do it, given that we didn't give birth). And I hate that I feel like I need to be ready to explain myself. I don't have any guilt because this just isn't part of FS's story. But I still feel like I have to explain it, not out of guilt, but out of fear that others will otherwise see me and assume I have somehow failed my child. Luckily, we have a huge community of folks around us who know our story, so it's nice that we have places we can go where we know we don't have to do any explaining at all.


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## ian'smommaya

sierra, good for you for assuming the postive or turning comments into positive situations. some people could use you as an example. perhaps your friend was trying to remind you of the positive about fostering your son? just a thought, i dont think she did it in the best of ways but maybe she had the best of intentions...

have you looked at transgendered youth groups for you teenaged (delayed) foster son? perhaps one of these groups could help him learn about i dont know what but i could be helpful to connect with other transgendered people although it sounds like you have a great community...there are always going to be insulting people like the guy who said grow up. to bad he the rude guy will miss out on the variety of life.

maya


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## mandalamama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sierra*
But in our case, the law actually prevents us from breastfeeding

why??! i don't get that at all. some women are able to lactate with help, so that would be the best nutrition for any foster or adoptive child. why in the heck is there a law against it?








Sierra, for all you do


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## mandalamama

i don't have anything stupid that was said to me recently, but i do have a "stupid looks people give you" and "stupid things you see other people doing" story. we were at the park for playgroup, and i think i was the only crunchy mama there. it was too hot, we only stayed a little bit, i think that's why everyone stayed home? anyway. there's a water-fountain park there, it's awesome. i could tell my group wasn't there because it was bottles, bottles everywhere, and not a boob to drink.

i bottle-feed, but i don't ever sit the bottle out in the sun in 93° weather!! there were bottles sitting out on benches and stroller trays everywhere. babies drinking their own bottles, some looked younger than Willow. i wear those big sunglasses that cover regular glasses, they're totally black, so i can "eye-drop" instead of eavesdrop







anyway, when i bottle-nursed her, i got a LOT of very weird looks. (i hold her as if she were being breastfed, she cuddles and tucks into my body.) then we got hot, and i'd carry her under a big flower sprinkler to cool off. i was telling her all about water, how it's like rain, we were both giggling when we'd get rained on harder.









then i realized a whole row of parents was staring at me. i looked around. i was the only adult in the water with all the kids! and the only parent talking directly to a small baby. all the other babies were in strollers, with awnings and blankets, you could only see their little feet. i had put SPF 50 on both of us, so i wasn't worried, plus she had her wide-brim hat on. i felt like saying, "yo, it's HOT! i WANT to be all wet!" :LOL at first i felt shy and sat down again. looked around, saw a lot of babies being ignored








then i was like, why am i sitting here hot? and stood out in the water again with Willow







the kids in the water kept talking to me, it was so cute! they were like, "do you like the water?" "what's your favorite?" (there's a snake, a flower, an arch, and surface fountains!) "does the baby like it" and so on







i'd go turn it back on whenever it wound down (they have this touch pad thingy).

so i'm standing in cool water on a hot day with my giggly baby, getting soaked, surrounded by laughing, happy children ... and *i'm* the weird one?!







ok, so then i'm weird









i sat down to rest, and a grandma next to me was packing up to go. i thought she was nice at first, she was asking about Willow, but then she said "only here and hour and they want to go already. it's not even worth it to bring them here." i was so boggled by that, i had no idea what to say! i was only there a half hour but it was totally worth it to see Willow so happy. her granddaughters were blissed-out happy







anyway, i sat and gazed around a bit from behind my glasses, and i did see some happy parents, but for the most part it was grouchy people ignoring their babies and toddlers







or scolding kids for getting their hair wet (?????)

i missed my crunchy group! wahhhhhh! *lol*


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## Thursday Girl

when I gho on the play equipment I alwasy get tons of kids coming to talk to me.

although I mean I have a tendency to judge to quickly and see all the parents always sitting but then i try to think of the oposite side and not juge like today i was at the mall with DD getting maternity clothes as I have grown out of my clothes. But we go to the indoor play place after shopping and dd all worn out from watching my mom and I try on clothes and me tired from carrying her and walking and the earlier bnout at the indoor play place (where i played with her and helped her climb on tall things and held her hands wel she jumped off said tall things) so we got back the second time around and my belly and back and fet had just had it completely. poor jewely wanted to climb on the giant camera but needs my help. i wouldn't help her i tried to explain how I was tired and I needed to sit. it ended up in a breakdown on her part and i was waiting for my mom. she tantrumed and i tried to hold her and she flung out and ran to the camera etc etc etc. But if I would have seen me on that day i would have judged me and scoffed at that mother. but it was me. and i knew the story.

so i try and be more understanding. but all the same sometimes there are parents and you can really tell they just don't care. but not always so i try to give the benefit of the doubt everyone has hard days

but oh man would i be in that water with my dd. even if i was just sitting on my butt feeling tired & pregnant/

Courtney


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## mandalamama

*nods* Courtney, even though i feel judgmental on the inside, i also always feel very open and warm towards all the other parents and kids. i trust they're all doing the best they know how. maybe some of what i do will rub off on them, maybe i'll see someone doing better than me and i'll learn something new. i'm always hoping to start good conversations about babywearing or bottle-nursing, it feels good to educate gently









had a funny thing happen at the grocery store tonight: i was holding Willow while her dad was off getting a raincheck for something, and the cashier was oohing and aahing ... she asked, "is she a good baby?" and Willow picked that moment to point at the Elmo balloon behind her head and yell "red bah-DOON!" i cracked up, and the cashier said "well i guess she IS!" *lol* i just said, as i always do with the good-baby stuff, "she's my favorite person to be with"


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## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jewelysmommy*
so i try and be more understanding. but all the same sometimes there are parents and you can really tell they just don't care. but not always so i try to give the benefit of the doubt everyone has hard days
Courtney

I bet on your hard days you aren't staring disapprovingly at the parents who have energy to play with their kids like you want to be playing with yours.


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## Thursday Girl

oh yeah i totally missed the funny looks you were getting mellybean.

why do parents give us funny looks when we play with our kids? i mean that is what we are supposed to do? although i have to say generally i get smiles. But some times it's almost like people are offended that you are playing with your child. and then they get annoyed b/c there child is trying to play with me. and they tell the child not to and I don't mind.

here's another playground mishap on the parents part.

I took Jewely tothe playground and we were playing and there was three parents standing on the equipment not playing but then they all light up cigarettes!! right there on the play equipment. unfortunatley my mother bear isn't all the way developed. so instead os saying something to them I said to Jewely (loudly) "let's go to the other playground where you don't have to breath smoke"

oh if i could go back in time...


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## Sierra

Uuuuuuurgggggh. I just had the most irritating thing happen. Not really something someone said, but something someone did.

I was at church to do some work. A grandmotherly lady who volunteers wanted to hold dfs, who was finishing a bottle. That was fine with me, as she has a loving and ongoing relationship with dfs, and I was trying to get some things done. So I handed him over, and she was feeding him and everything was good. Soon, a lady, who I have never seen before in my life, comes into the office and is helping the volunteer with some work. At one point she introduces herself by her first name, but she didn't tell me what she is there for, where she came from, or anything, so it is not like we have suddenly gotten to know each other or anything.

Well, "grandmother" is burping dfs and I notice that he is getting frustrated because he wants to see her face. So I tell grandmother that he wants to see her, but she can't get him in a comfy position to do so, so then I help her. But by this time though he was too frustrated, and he was getting tired, so he was starting to cry. So grandmother puts him face down across her legs because she is thinking he needs to burp more. He is fussing some, but I know I can always get him if he starts to cry. But meanwhile, just as he is starting to cry and I am about to ask grandmother if I can please take him back (and I know she would happily give him back), the stranger lady starts saying "Oh! Poor baby! Come to [her own name]. Come see me," which grandmother either didn't hear because her hearing is very poor, or she tried to ignore. But then, all of the sudden the lady just grabs dfs from grandmother, and starts walking out of the room with him saying, "You want to walk around. Let's walk around." Grandmother looks all hurt, dfs looks confused, and I am just stunned. As stranger lady reaches the door I think she sees the look on my face and slows down. Then she turns back around and I see dfs, who is over her shoulder, and the look on his face was just awful. He was about to start screaming when I told her, "Can I take him please? I think he just wants mommy right now." Thank goodness she handed him back without trouble. But ick! I just didn't like that at all because I had no idea who this lady was, and dfs was obviously tired and very confused about being passed around.

Oh, and to make matters worse, it is extra noisy at the church today because there is a teen leadership training here this week. So the poor kid is having the most disrupted sleep and keeps crying and moaning in his sleep.


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## elmh23

Sierra's story of the stranger lady made me remember something that happened in December. Dh's brother and his wife came down to visit. We all went out to breakfast and then went back to MIL's. DD was 4 weeks old and while we were out we ran out of wipes. As soon as we got back, I got into our car (we'd all ridden together) leaving Sarah with DH for the first time by himself. We live about a minute from my in-laws by car. When I got back to MIL's, Sarah was screaming. I'd heard her from the drive way she was so loud! I run in to find her not in her daddy's arms but in the arms of my SIL. I go to her and grab her out of her arms and she has the odasity (I can't spell that) to say that it's normal for babies to cry like that. Well no it isn't. I yell for Matthew (my dh) as I wisk her away to my in-laws bedroom so I can change her diaper and nurse her down to sleep. Apparently, my other SIL wa holding her when she started crying. Matthew went to her to get the baby just has my MIL takes her from SIL and leaves the room. Matthew followed her saying that he needs his baby back and he can calm her, but MIL just ignored him. Then he went back to the office where he was talking to his dad about computers. After that we've had a rule at all family gatherings. If Sarah starts crying, give her back to either me or Matthew. If you one of them doesn't, they won't be seeing Sarah, Matthew or myself for a long, long time!


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## Corvus

Yea, I don't understand why some people refuse to give crying or fussing babies back to the mom or dad. Are they trying to be the big hero who "fixes" the baby's problem? Trying to show-up the new mom and dad? Whatever the motivation, it is disrespectful to the baby and to the parents, and to me it indicates an inflated sense of self-importance. :LOL

Even before I had a baby of my own, I always gave crying babies back to the parents, because it was clear that the baby wasn't happy in my arms. I wanted the baby to be happy, and I wanted to stop looking like an idiot trying to calm a baby who didn't want me to calm him/her!









My step-monster, who has never had a child of her own but thinks she is an expert on children, has several times pulled this stunt with my DD. DD was a very fussy infant, only wanted to be held by me most of the time, and nursed about 90% of the day. Nursing or just being held by me was usually the only thing that calmed her. So whenever my step-monster was holding DD and she would cry or fuss, she would walk away, saying, "There there let's just take a walk." Yea, she wants to walk with you, who she hardly knows, but who she senses is a mean, rough, rude person. Before she could get more than five steps away, I would take DD back and say, "She needs to eat now" or "I need to change her diaper now." But I hate that I felt like I had to come up with an excuse to get my own baby back from someone who says she loves me and my baby.


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## mom2jasper

These recent posts remind me of what I went through on a Trans-atlantic flight alone with DS Jasper when he was 4 months old. We had to wake him up at 4am, put him in his carseat which he hated, and was extremely overtired and cranky. He was nursing a lot, and started crying to the point of hysteria. I was asked if I wanted to board--oh thank goodness, Yes! But it was actually just another "waiting room" people were being filtered into since the plane wasn't ready. So at first Jasper and I were the only ones in this huge room with no chairs, sitting on the floor where he was nursing/flailing arms/wailing and people would come down the stairs with confused looks on their faces looking for the commotion. A lot of "helpful" people came over to clap their hands in his face, offer to take him (no thank you) give him snacks, a bottle of water, etc. I think they were well-meaning even when they said things like "There's something wrong with that baby" "Give him a bottle" Uhhh, can't you see my boob hanging out?

But the worst part was on the plane. "Luckily" we were able to keep the carseat and there was an empty seat in the middle of me and another woman who was by the window.

I was sooo happy Jasper was finally calming down, and I gently lowered him into his carseat. He was just nodding off to sleep when the lady said "Aw come here, let's give mommy a break" and started to grab him by the arm. I said "no, leave him there, he's tired, he won't like it" But DS was out of my reach and she had him dangling by one arm before she swung him over to her shoulder with him looking out the window and kissed his face














I was trying to be nice, but was so tired and frantic myself, and said, "Okay, please give him back to me" A stewardess came by and said "Aw someone is giving your baby a cuddle" I didn't know what to say. I was trying to not to look reassuring since Jasper was looking at me but of course he started crying again, and finally I got him back. It took forever for him to calm down again.

Needless to say it was an exhausting trip for both of us since I was too afraid to put him in his carseat again for even a moment, he wasn't buckled in at all, or anything.

Oh and he got a big rash on the cheek that stupid stranger lady kissed him. I just cannot believe how helpless I felt. I am mad at myself for not making a big fuss, for not screaming at her, but I didn't want to sit next to someone who was hostile the whole trip. Instead *I* was seething. I guess I was the stupid one really in the end.







Never again...

On another quick note, my MIL tried to give Jasper a turkey bone to suck on at Thanksgiving when he was 2 months old to "settle his stomach" and stop him from whining. I was upstairs, and luckily DH told her that it sounded like a horrible idea. There was a lot of pooh-poohing and tut-tutting the new parents but at least Jasper did not suck on a turkey bone.


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## kiahnsmum

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corvus*
My step-monster, .









: I had one of those!


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## Thursday Girl

i was with a lot of good friends at a party for my friends 50th birthday. her SIL, a drunk who unfortunatley often got wasted in front of her daughter was there. I was standing with DD talking to one of my frineds when this women comes by and says "oh let me see my baby" and takes her from ,me and walks off towards the back yard. I was so shocked i couldn't move!finally i got myslef in gear (DD was ok she is used to being held by a lot of diffrent people) and took my baby back. i am also a little mad that it took me that long to react. Luckily it was someone I sort of know and not a starnger. who do peopl think they are??


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## RedPony

Quote:

Even before I had a baby of my own, I always gave crying babies back to the parents, because it was clear that the baby wasn't happy in my arms. I wanted the baby to be happy, and I wanted to stop looking like an idiot trying to calm a baby who didn't want me to calm him/her!
:LOL I THROW crying babies back to their parents.


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## minkajane

OK, I got another one.

Yesterday, my SIL asked if my baby could spend the weekend with her and my brother. Here's what's wrong with that:

#1 - he's going to be 8 months old when we get there. That is WAY too young to spend a weekend away from Mommy and Daddy!

#2 - he's breastfed, and she knows it. Does she think that's going to change anytime soon?

#3 - they're so mainstream it's scary. If I left him there, they'd have him up playing half the night, then they'd let him scream in a crib by himself. He's never slept in a crib in his life.

#4 - my brother is totally nuts - I'm almost scared that I'd show up to pick him up and DS's foreskin would be missing.


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## Kateana

I'm glad the turkey/chicken bone thing as brought up again, b/c I keep forgetting to post this: it's actually recommended in LLL's "Womanly Art of Breastfeeding" as something good for teething babes. I was shocked when I read it last week, but I think LLL is a reputable source... no?


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## MelissaEvans

My grandmother-in-law did the clapping thing too. She's a very stern woman (well, I have many other colorful metaphores for her), and my cousin-in-law who was a few months old was crying so GIL did this school teacher clap thing, scowl and all. I had to ask MIL later what that was about - apparently it was her version of trying to distract the baby, kinda playing with her.


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## lucymay6

I took me a week, but what a lovely read.
Here are my additions:

My mother, who thinks co-sleeping is horribly dangerous and will ruin our marriage, was talking to me about how much dd hates her car seat.

*Mom*:"Hasn't she learned yet that crying won't get her anywhere?"
*Me*: "no"
*Mom*: "That's good, I think it's so sad when babies give up trying and don't cry anymore."

???????
I should say that my mom is a great mom. She breast fed all 4 of us until we were 10 months. (in the 60's) and is Super supportive of my ECing. And everything, really, except the co-sleeping. And she might be coming around on that, too. I just don't get how she could make us sleep in cribs if she feels this way about crying babies.

*************************************

Our first Pediatrician's office was reccommended by a friend. The NP gave me really stupid nursing advice, (don't nurse any more frequently that every 2 hours) so I was already feeling like I didn't like the place.

After dd's 2 month shots we started to question vaxing, so called to speak with one of the doctors there. The receptionist said, in this really patronizing tone, "oh, have you been reading the internet? Just come in for your 4 month appt and the doctor will talk to you about it"

So we did. We said we had some concerns about the vaccines. he said, "Why? vaccinnes are perfectly safe." We showed him some articles and printouts about it, and gave us the usual blah blah blah about how all of these authors don't know what they are talking about. We continued to have this conversation and he was getting anxious to leave the room. He said "well, you can refuse the vaccines if you want, I'll just have to make a note of it in your chart(like, this will go down in your _permanent record_ And you do understand that you are risking your child's life, don't you?"

This whole story is really just background to "the dumbest thing ever said" which happened earlier in the visit, before we brought up the vax thing.

*doc*:"hmmm, you're breastfeeding, that's great. They used to tell us that breastfed babies needed D supplements, then they said thery don't, but now they say that they do. So here's your prescription for vitamin supplements."
*me*: "Who is 'they'?"
*Doc*: "Oh, you know, whoever it is that tells us what to do. They have A & D. She doesn't need the A but it won't hurt any and she needs the D."

(this is bull. )
I love that the dude was aware that "they" change their positions about safety on a lot of issues, but was unable to consider that vax might not be all that "they" say it is.

Our current doctor has a brain and she knows how to use it.


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## paquerette

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kateana*
I'm glad the turkey/chicken bone thing as brought up again, b/c I keep forgetting to post this: it's actually recommended in LLL's "Womanly Art of Breastfeeding" as something good for teething babes. I was shocked when I read it last week, but I think LLL is a reputable source... no?

Do they actually suggest that for a 2 mo who (presuably) hasn't even had any solids yet? I can't imagine what meat residue would do to their pristine guts.


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## catnip

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lucymay6*
And she might be coming around on that, too. I just don't get how she could make us sleep in cribs if she feels this way about crying babies.


Some kids are ok in a crib. My mom would hold and rock me to sleep, put me in the crib and promptly reply when I fussed during the night. Crib does not necessarily equal CIO, though my DD cosleeps too.


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## corwinegall

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corvus*
Yea, I don't understand why some people refuse to give crying or fussing babies back to the mom or dad. Are they trying to be the big hero who "fixes" the baby's problem? Trying to show-up the new mom and dad? Whatever the motivation, it is disrespectful to the baby and to the parents, and to me it indicates an inflated sense of self-importance. :LOL


Yeah! No kidding. My mom would visit and if dd started fussing she'd run over and try and grab her, as if she were the savior. One day she did that to dh and it just made dd mad!! For some reason she didn't do that with ds 8 years ago...

Although I admit that I've tried soothing a baby when they started fussing, for a mom who was overwhelmed or dealing with another dc at the moment.


----------



## UptownZoo

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mom2jasper*
A lot of "helpful" people came over to clap their hands in his face, offer to take him (no thank you) give him snacks, a bottle of water, etc. I think they were well-meaning even when they said things like "There's something wrong with that baby" "Give him a bottle" Uhhh, can't you see my boob hanging out?

Aaarrrgghhh! I hate that! If I'd been in that waiting room, I'd have plopped down next to you to fend off the, ahem, "well-wishers" so you could concentrate on your baby. WHAT is some people's deal with a crying baby?

I got this crap a lot since DS was so high needs, and I'll never forget this woman who helped me. DS was of course screeching and struggling, wouldn't nurse, etc., his usual deal and we'd been in this waiting room a long, long time. People kept giving me the usual stuff - "Here, I'll take him awhile" (ummm, but you're a stranger; he doesn't even like his dad!), "Don't you have a bottle?" etc., ad nauseum. So this old grandmotherly woman sat down next to me and I thought, well here we go with another lecture. But God bless her, she patted my arm and said into my ear, "I'm just gonna sit here and tell you you're doing fine, because you look so lonely." I almost kissed her right there. I even got a little teary. Just a bit of emotional support goes a long, long way!

It's a lot easier to follow your instincts if somebody, somewhere believes in you and gives you a little pat on the arm!

Reminds me of a dream my mom had when I was pregnant with my first baby. In her dream, she was nursing ME (the grown up me), and it was very clear in her dream that she had to take good care of me so I could take good care of my baby. So that's what I always try to be - not the expert who saves the baby, but the person who gives the mom or the dad a little emotional boost. I sure wish more people had done that for me!


----------



## Kateana

Quote:


Originally Posted by *paquerette*
Do they actually suggest that for a 2 mo who (presuably) hasn't even had any solids yet? I can't imagine what meat residue would do to their pristine guts.









I could check for sure if you want, but I'm guessing they wouldn't recommend it for a babe under 6 months. They seem pretty consistent with that. I was just shocked that it was in there at all!







Good point, though, I forgot that babes can be teething that early (I haven't had my babe yet, and it's been awhile since I've babysat a babe that young).


----------



## Corvus

Quote:


Originally Posted by *uptownzoo*
So this old grandmotherly woman sat down next to me and I thought, well here we go with another lecture. But God bless her, she patted my arm and said into my ear, "I'm just gonna sit here and tell you you're doing fine, because you look so lonely." I almost kissed her right there. I even got a little teary. Just a bit of emotional support goes a long, long way!

It's a lot easier to follow your instincts if somebody, somewhere believes in you and gives you a little pat on the arm!

uptownzoo, this story made me cry. DH and I had very little (if any) emotional support from our families when DD was a baby. They were all adamantly against co-sleeping. Most were against breastfeeding. Most encouraged CIO, told us we were "spoiling" our baby, etc. Apparently we were doing everything wrong in their eyes. So a beautiful gesture like in your story, even from a stranger, would have gone a long way in boosting my emotional state back then-because even though I instinctually felt that our ways were right, it was very discouraging to hear the opposite every time we were around family.

The closest I got to getting that kind of support from a stranger was when I was carrying DD in the Baby Bjorn at the grocery store. Usually people gave me odd looks, a cashier even once asked me if DD was comfortable in there.







Anyway, a woman of at least 50ish engaged me in conversation a little bit about my smiling baby. Before walking away, she said with a smile, "They know when they're loved." I wanted to cry, but I think I managed to wait until I got back in the car.

I will always remember my story and your story. Maybe someday I can help a new mother that I don't even know.


----------



## Lousli

I have a new one. I was over at a friend's house and her sister came over. We started talking and I was telling her a shortened version of my birth story. That at 32 weeks and a couple days, I got a stomach virus and started throwing up and contracting (I was already on meds for contractions at that time) and dh took me to the hospital, where I continued contracting every 8-9 minutes for 3 days. My water ended up breaking and I had the baby, seven weeks early. I was explaining how they were trying to give me meds to stop my contractions but it wasn't working. She said, "Three days? Why didn't they just give you a c-section?"

I was dumbfounded. I was thinking, "Because they were trying to keep the baby *in*!" I don't remember what I said in answer, I was in such shock.


----------



## ERSsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *uptownzoo*
Reminds me of a dream my mom had when I was pregnant with my first baby. In her dream, she was nursing ME (the grown up me), and it was very clear in her dream that she had to take good care of me so I could take good care of my baby. So that's what I always try to be - not the expert who saves the baby, but the person who gives the mom or the dad a little emotional boost. I sure wish more people had done that for me!

Pregnancy hormones talking, but what a sweet dream







:. I wish more people had done that to me also.


----------



## UptownZoo

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corvus*
I will always remember my story and your story. Maybe someday I can help a new mother that I don't even know.

That's awesome. And that's why raising our children by instinct and being supportive of each other is an act of revolution. Encouraged people become encouragers of others and the snowball just rolls on, getting bigger and bigger.

:LOL The revolutionary spirit is in me tonight! Sometimes my enthusiasm gets away from me, but if there's something more important to be enthusiastic about, I haven't found it yet.


----------



## lucymay6

Quote:


Originally Posted by *catnip*
Some kids are ok in a crib. My mom would hold and rock me to sleep, put me in the crib and promptly reply when I fussed during the night. Crib does not necessarily equal CIO, though my DD cosleeps too.

Good point. She does keep telling me that dd is a "difficult baby". I guess that means that hers were the type that would fall asleep and stay asleep. I wonder what she'd have done if she had a baby who WOULD NOT sleep in the crib, like ours.


----------



## lucymay6

BTW, I love the new, positive tone this thread is taking on. Here's the best/smartest thing anyone has said to me about my baby:

Shopping at the mall for new clothes to fit my post partum belly, with 4 month old dd in the bjorn. She was facing out, so as I was flipping through the clothes she would grab them and feel the cloth. The salesladies couldn't get over how cute... "she's learning to shop!"

As I was checking out, the woman ringing me up said, "She has such a cheerful disposition, you must be breastfeeding her." I was a little taken aback, but told her I was. She said she could tell by how happy she was, and told me about the really comfortable women's lounge in Nordstrom's with couches that is a haven for bfing mamas. I already knew about it, but I thought that was so sweet. It was really my first time out shopping with baby, and as a 1st time mom I was really nervous for some reason. She made me feel really comfortable and good.


----------



## JSerene

Okay, this one really irked me. A bit of background. Dd is 10 weeks old. In 3 weeks I have to go back to work, no way around it. I have been working with her for the last couple of weeks to take a bottle. We have tried every kind of bottle/nipple on the market, and nothing has worked. Today in the mail I received the Adiri Breastbottle Nurser that I had ordered. It was my last hope since it was the only remaining bottle I hadn't tried and it has worked for many other babies that had a hard time going to bottle from breast. We spent the afternoon with it and it didn't work. Dd won't accept anything in her mouth other than the breast. She either cries or goes to sleep.

Anyway, I was talking to my mom tonight about the hard time we're having with this. Here are some of the gems that fell out of her mouth:
"you just have to break her will"
"she'll cry, fall asleep, wake up, cry some more...eventually she'll learn that she's not getting anything but that bottle and she'll take it"
"you should have been bottlefeeding from the very beginning"
"she's too attached to you"
"she needs to learn that this is the real world and this is how it is"









How uncaring and unhelpful. It just makes me sad.

On another occasion, she told me that she gave my sisters and I little bottles of water from the very beginning because otherwise she felt we wouldn't drink it when we were older and would just want "juice, juice, juice." I just told her that dd would get a little bit of water with solid foods, but not until then.

My MIL has the same attitude as my mom. She's practically gloating that we're struggling with this. All I can say to them is that I would rather have a good breastfeeder that struggled with bottle, than the other way around. I have always been very greatful dd took to nursing so easily. Some mama's have a really hard time with that.

Of course, my loving family also gloated that I needed an epidural with my yucky pitocin induction. It doesn't even occur to them how hurtful they're being.


----------



## UptownZoo

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JSerene*
Dd won't accept anything in her mouth other than the breast. She either cries or goes to sleep.

I used to do daycare and I've helped lots of babies who refused everything but the breast to adjust to something while Mom was gone. You may have thought of these already, but I thought I'd mention them, JIK.

*A preemie bottle nipple; they're much softer and some babies will accept that.
*A finger feeder (like a supplemental nursing system, but you tape the tube to your finger)
*A medicine dropper (tedious, but it does the job)
*A cup; somebody (Medela, maybe?) makes a really soft one that you can kind of fold into a spout for feeding very young infants

Is the person who will be caring for your baby willing to work with options other than a bottle? Some are stubborn about doing it their way; many are flexible. I guess the key to my success with helping babies who wanted the breast to eat another way probably has as much to do with patience and lots of cooing and soothing than it does with any technique. Also, another person might have more success teaching her this new skill, because you're the one with the boobs! Oh, and despite what your mom says, it's better to work with her when she's NOT especially hungry, so she won't be as upset because she's hungry, and where's the boob?


----------



## Shaunam

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JSerene*
Of course, my loving family also gloated that I needed an epidural with my yucky pitocin induction. It doesn't even occur to them how hurtful they're being.









:

I'm sorry. I know how that feels. My sisters did that.







I didn't want drugs, but ended up with back labor and I caved and got nubain AND the epi.

Afterwards they said, "see, we TOLD you that you would need it!" They have no idea that I STILL regret it 6 months later.

I've also gotten that, "You should have started using a bottle earlier" crap from family. DS won't take a bottle or sippy at all. In my case, it's not an issue, though. I don't have to go back to work. So I really don't see why they think it's a problem that he won't take a bottle.









At least YOU know that you are doing what's best for her, even if it is a struggle sometimes.


----------



## JSerene

Thanks for the words of advice, support and encouragment uptownzoo and shaunam! My husband will be staying home with her, so that helps. Cup feedings work so-so. She used to love to finger feed, then rejected the finger completely, even for comfort. Now, just tonight, she was okay with the finger again. So...I guess we're going to give that another try.

Oh, another thing my mom said was that this will be just like when I have to wean her, and that she'll cry then too. I didn't bother to explain that I saw no reason to wean, that instead baby would lead the way. Why is everyone in such a hurry? She'll only be little once, is it so wrong to enjoy it instead of pushing things on her for your convenience (weaning, sleeping alone, potty learning, etc.) even if you don't have to? Okay, that's another thread...sorry.

I'm soooooo glad that I didn't need to count on my family for any kind of support in breastfeeding/baby care. I would have been led in the wrong direction, IMO. jen.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lousli*
I was explaining how they were trying to give me meds to stop my contractions but it wasn't working. She said, "Three days? Why didn't they just give you a c-section?"

I was dumbfounded. I was thinking, "Because they were trying to keep the baby *in*!" I don't remember what I said in answer, I was in such shock.

Hopefully just what you thought. That is the perfect response to her comment.


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## attachedtojames

I was breastfeeding my ds (15 mos.) while pregnant with my dd. My MIL said that if I continued to bf while pregnant that my unborn baby would die because my ds was taking away the nutrition meant for her. And if by chance she did survive until birth I could not nurse them both or they would both die from dehydration. The sad thing is that my MIL was a nurse many years ago so people believed her and thought I was aweful for taking the risk.

Here is one that I just heard at church today as a lady met my dd for the first time--"Promise me your not going to make her turn out like your son. He is so 'attached' to you that you can't even leave him in the nursery." It's not that I can't leave him, it's that I won't leave him.

I could write a book on all of the crazy things people have said. It sounds like the rest of you could too.


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *attachedtojames*

Here is one that I just heard at church today as a lady met my dd for the first time--"Promise me your not going to make her turn out like your son. He is so 'attached' to you that you can't even leave him in the nursery." It's not that I can't leave him, it's that I won't leave him.

That's so rude! What makes people think that they get a say in how your children are raised?

I'm not even going to touch your MIL's comments uke


----------



## tryinghardmomma

I had a lot of trouble breastfeeding my first three. My third was very high-needs and was the first one that I seriously slung 24/7 and coslept. When he was about 17 mos old and not walking, my Mom said that I had kept him from walking because I wouldn't let him out of the sling. I didn't bother to comment. That summer someone also told me "The way he acts and looks, one would think he was a BREASTfed baby." (I don't think they meant it as a compliment.) I responded, "Thank you."

I learned about the lact-aid with #4 so she was breastfed for a year (and then a few more times between age 2 and 2 1/2 after I took away her bottles... don't ask... I have no idea....) ANYhow.... This last February I was at a party. My 6th baby was 13 mos old, and having one of "those" days so she was at the breast a LOT. This one man had *seen* her eating chicken bits and grapes, and then saw her breastfeeding. After walking past us 3 or 4 different times and seeing her bfeed each time, and making some little comment like "still doing that?" He came by and said "I don't know, I think if they can ask for chicken and grapes then it's time to stop." I just deadpanned, "Sir, you know my three year old is still nursing too, right?"

Now my baby is 19 mos old and *still* nursing







and people will still stick their nose into our business and ask me "When are you going to wean her?" And my answer? "Well I think I'll wait until after I've weaned her big brother." (He'll be 4 next Sunday.)


----------



## MelissaEvans

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JSerene*
Oh, another thing my mom said was that this will be just like when I have to wean her, and that she'll cry then too. I didn't bother to explain that I saw no reason to wean, that instead baby would lead the way. Why is everyone in such a hurry? She'll only be little once, is it so wrong to enjoy it instead of pushing things on her for your convenience (weaning, sleeping alone, potty learning, etc.) even if you don't have to? Okay, that's another thread...sorry.

And then when the children are pre-teens and wanting to dress like whatever rage there is a the time with too much make up and not enough fabric, the same parents will complain that the same child is growing up too fast. Ironic, isn't it? =)


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tryinghardmomma*

Now my baby is 19 mos old and *still* nursing







and people will still stick their nose into our business and ask me "When are you going to wean her?" And my answer? "Well I think I'll wait until after I've weaned her big brother." (He'll be 4 next Sunday.)









:







:







:


----------



## pjlioness

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MelissaEvans*
And then when the children are pre-teens and wanting to dress like whatever rage there is a the time with too much make up and not enough fabric, the same parents will complain that the same child is growing up too fast. Ironic, isn't it? =)

Anything that doesn't make kids "easy" or "convenient" is a problem, i.e., anything that requires parents to get off their butts and do something.


----------



## mamabohl

I sorta got another one.

Generally my mom was a semi crunchy mom, she would never CIO but did wean early...has told me that my baby must be spoiled since he wants to be held all the time, etc. Well she's always sticking her foot in her mouth around me without knowing cuz we'll be talking about something and she'll bring up some "crazy" thing that someone else is doing and talk about how insane it is...little does she know it's something I'm doing/plan on doing..hehehehe. So yesterday it was extended breastfeeding (it's also happened with homeschooling and non-vaxing)...I was nursing ds while on the phone with mom and she asked how long I plan on nursing...I said I wasn't sure but at least a year. (the longest she bf'd any of her babies was 9 months) She then told me (in a hushed tone like she was telling some dirty secret) that she saw a kid at church that she thought was still breastfeeding and he looked about 3 1/2! GASP! Then she said, "that's just disgusting!" :LOL Then I said, well I know some people who have breastfed their children past 5 or 6. Then she was like, "if they can take it out their too old to breastfeed." Ah, mom...I love ya but your ideas just crack me up sometimes!


----------



## Shyrley

With regards to my quadraplegic baby...

'bet you're glad she can't grab things and be a nuisance!'


----------



## shannon0218

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shyrley*
With regards to my quadraplegic baby...

'bet you're glad she can't grab things and be a nuisance!'

OMG, that is horrible!!! I think I'd have dropped them to the ground right then!

I forgot a good one. My MIL after our third miscarriage--after DH had specifically told him that we didn't take comfort in the "God must have had a reason" stuff and told her to please not say anything like that to me, she took the time from her busy schedule to call me 2 days after my d&c to let me know that our miscarriages were very likely "God's way of telling us it's wrong to have children out of wedlock"
I was silent and then said "So, God has no problem with the 16 yr old crackhead carrying to term but dh in our 30's with good jobs and a house--that's where God draws the line???"


----------



## roseselene

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shyrley*
With regards to my quadraplegic baby...

'bet you're glad she can't grab things and be a nuisance!'
















That has got to be the most callous thing I've ever heard.


----------



## katarn

hopefully she was kicking herself after she said it


----------



## Aura_Kitten

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shyrley*
With regards to my quadraplegic baby...

'bet you're glad she can't grab things and be a nuisance!'









what IS it with people?!


----------



## corwinegall

I have a story, it's kind of the opposite. A big foot in the mouth for me. After my grandmother's funeral (it was expected and we were celebrating her life) we were sitting at dinner and my cousin's 6 wk old baby was being passed around. When he got to me he started fussing. Someone handed me a bottle and I struggled for a minute and said "I don't know how to give a baby a bottle!" laughing at myself. I don't think I'd given a baby a bottle since I was 12, and ds was two and still nursing. My aunt laughed out loud, but my cousin got up and took the baby outside and fed him. She'd stopped nursing because she thought it'd be hard to travel. I felt bad, it was not my intention to make her feel bad.


----------



## janerose

Quote:


Originally Posted by *shannon0218*
I forgot a good one. My MIL after our third miscarriage--after DH had specifically told him that we didn't take comfort in the "God must have had a reason" stuff and told her to please not say anything like that to me, she took the time from her busy schedule to call me 2 days after my d&c to let me know that our miscarriages were very likely "God's way of telling us it's wrong to have children out of wedlock"
I was silent and then said "So, God has no problem with the 16 yr old crackhead carrying to term but dh in our 30's with good jobs and a house--that's where God draws the line???"

We got this A LOT during our 5 years ttc dd. We were very blessed to never experience a miscarriage thank goodness, but I can't even count the number of people who said, "Well, God knows what he's doing" or "God just must think it's not your time to be parent's yet." I had exactly the same response as you. Like, ok....out of all the dumba** people in the world, WE'RE the ones God has decided don't deserve to be parents?







I won't even get into the fact that DH is an atheist. :LOL

One girl I used to work with (who was like 18, just married, and got pg like 2 months after they started trying -- so she was about 5 months pg at the time) said, "Well, it's just as well. It's not like you own your home or anything. *Something* must know better than you when you're ready to have a child."







: This one especially torqued me because she was REALLY mainstream. Ate junk the whole time she was pg and constantly complained to me about being pg, bottlefed, big medicated big experience (both by choice), CIO....the whole mess. I felt so bad for her little boy.







Oh, and they only owned their home because her DH's father gave it to them. And when is homeownership a sign of parental readiness anyway? *sigh*

Holly


----------



## pjlioness

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shyrley*
With regards to my quadraplegic baby...

'bet you're glad she can't grab things and be a nuisance!'

People don't know what to say to parents of children with special needs. Their discomfort really shows. I'd suggest gently turning their statement back on them..."I'm highly offended by what you just said. Would YOU prefer a child who couldn't walk just so they couldn't get into things?"


----------



## AntoninBeGonin

Originally Posted by Corvus
UGH. My father says that too. ALL THE TIME. Ever since I was a kid/teenager, if I was holding a relative's baby, and the baby started to cry, he'd say to me, "Stop pinching that baby!" while laughing.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jayayenay*
Ugh! Who thinks that's funny?

I do, actually. It's a joke, it's meant to be taken lightheartedly.









~Nay "The Intactavist Doula"














: my little booby bandito, Antonin









I love my super supportive DH







Our kitties!


----------



## jayayenay

I still don't think it's funny to joke about child abuse or domestic abuse, lighthearted or not.


----------



## hookahgirl

I really dont think "stop pinching the baby" is in anyway a jab at child abuse, nor is it making light of child abuse. My family often says to me "what are you doing to that baby" when she starts to cry, becuse she does so very rarely. That is probly what they mean, as in "you have to be pinching your baby, or something, because we never hear her cry"
just my 2 cents


----------



## Corvus

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AntoninBeGonin*
I do, actually. It's a joke, it's meant to be taken lightheartedly.

Well, when you have very little experience with babies, and you feel very insecure about simply holding a baby, and your father repeatedly puts you down about everything... then maybe you would feel differently about getting that comment from your father.

ETA: But even if that weren't the case with my father... I still hate that comment about "pinching" the baby. I resent anyone ever implying that I would hurt a baby; it's simply not funny to me.


----------



## the_lissa

Count me in as someone who also found that funny because it is so ridiculous.


----------



## CryPixie83

I can't stand the "pinching the baby" comments. My MIL has made them since dd was born and it irritates me to no end. People think they're being clever when they say it, and it can really bother new mothers especially.


----------



## shishkeberry

Personally, I don't get offended when people ask me "what are you doing to that baby?" or "stop pinching the baby", but I can see how other people are offended.

I'll remember to never say that to any other parents from now on


----------



## hookahgirl

i try to read most of this thread, i dont know if anyone has said this but,
when people tell my dd "is too attached" i say "well youd be pretty darn attached to your only food source too"


----------



## AntoninBeGonin

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ERSsmom*
This is off topic, but how do you guys nurse with babe in the car seat and wearing a seat belt? I do it with my 8 month-old, but I am certainly not strapped in. In fact, I look like I'm in the Matrix and every bump we hit, my boob smashes DS in the face or stretches as he hold onto it for dear life. He usually decides to wait to nurse. Maybe, my boobs are too small, I am somewhere around a small C.

:LOL That is me, exactly! I've managed to nurse while strapped in once, but usually he's in the wrong position. DH likes to drive fast so in the back of my mind I'm always picturing myself thrown out the window...ewww, not good.







:

~Nay "The Intactavist Doula"














: my little booby bandito, Antonin









I love my super supportive DH







Our kitties!


----------



## Amaryllis

Maybe the stupidest thing said to me was that as a vegetarian, I would have a low-birth weight and possibly retarded baby. My boss told me this! She wrote down a recipe for some kind of nasty smoothie with raw eggs and sardines or something. I said "Thanks!" and smiled and left her office. Of course I never made the smoothie and remained a vegetarian, my daughter was just shy of 10 pounds when she was born - early! And she started talking at 6 months.
Another thing I got a few times was "I can't believe you are still nursing her!" when she got her first tooth at about 5 months. People were insisting that I HAD to wean her then and that it was when nature intended babies to be weaned. Apparently teeth are a sign of being ready for solid food and no more milk......
Oh and one last thing, about 2 months before my due date, my hubby and I were at Whole Foods and the check out clerk says to me, "Oh my G-d, you are the biggest lady I've ever seen!" DH almost decked him, but resorted to a stern talking to. At first I almost burst into tears, then as we were leaving I had to laugh. My belly DID stick out really really far. It was this crazy bullet belly and probably did look pretty weird to the guy (highschool kid probably).


----------



## corwinegall

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CryPixie83*
I can't stand the "pinching the baby" comments. My MIL has made them since dd was born and it irritates me to no end. People think they're being clever when they say it, and it can really bother new mothers especially.

I think it can depend on who's saying it. My dad would say something like that when he came to visit, I didn't particulary find it funny, but I was okay with it, but if my MIL said it I think it would really irk me!


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *corwinegall*
I think it can depend on who's saying it. My dad would say something like that when he came to visit, I didn't particulary find it funny, but I was okay with it, but if my MIL said it I think it would really irk me!

I think that's the thing. It does depend on who's saying it, if my sister were to say it I'd laugh. But my MIL, who has absolutely NO tact, is always saying stupid, hurtful things, so I don't appreciate it from her at all.

After almost 13 months someone has finally commented on dd's "extended" nursing. I'm sitting on my parents' porch with my sister with a neighbor (making sure she doesn't run off with half the soda in the drink fridge they keep on the porch) and dd climbs into my lap and latches on and the neighbor (she's probably about 50-ish) looks at me and asks "are you still breastfeeding that baby?" I smiled really big (half proud, half trying not to laugh) and said "I sure am!"
It was all my sister and I could do to not laugh... I wanted to say "nope" and be a smart alleck- it was totally obvious I was nursing. But I was polite :LOL


----------



## AntoninBeGonin

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mama_nomad*

Later she gave me the worse book ever, what she claimed to be the best book ever, The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy, where the author talks about natural childbirth and says something to the effect of "why even try natural? i don't know why some women think the need to prove they are pioneers or something....just get the drugs!!"

keep this thread alive!

Oh geez, I've read that book, too. Couldn't stand it. I thought the highlite of it was when she made it sound like being pregnant is the first time a women will ever fart in front of her DH/DP. Uh, yeah right!









~Nay "The Intactavist Doula"














: my little booby bandito, Antonin









I love my super supportive DH







Our kitties!


----------



## Thursday Girl

That i am full of myself b/c i will "force" people to watch me breastfeed.

I informed them that i am not forcing anyone to watch me i am not holding them down and making them watch, They can get up and leave if they have a problem with it. I am just not going to inconvenience myself because breastfeeding "makes other people uncomfortable"

I wonder how many times i have posted about the crap i get about breastfeeding.
The amazing thing it's never been from strangers. i have never had a person come tell me i make them uncomfortable. I have never gotten a dirty look.

The people who bug me are family and friends. oh and one daycare provider who's mouth actually fell open when my 28 month old said "i want to go home and nurse mommy"

all this opposition just makes me want to roar like a lion. I have no idea why. maybe i am part lion.

I should have roared in the car. Poor litte jewely was a little freaked out as it was b/c my ister and I were yelling at each other in the car.

DH jumped in to dsay it was ok to BF on a plane.

which is what started the whole thing. b/c a steward threw a blanket over my child well i was nursing her (get this) AS WE WERE ABOUT TO TAKE OFF!!

anyways rant over. i always get wordy when I am riled, and wordy when i am not riled I 'm, just wordy but especially when i am pissed


----------



## AntoninBeGonin

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MelissaEvans*
Technically, I think it would be more appropriate to say that artificially fed babies have lower IQ's as breastfeeding is the biological norm (just as we say smokers have a higher incidence of lung cancer not usually that non-smokers have a lower incidence - not smoking is the biological norm). =)
http://www.wiessinger.baka.com/bfing...tle/scary.html

Melissa,

Thank you for linking such a great article.









~Nay "The Intactavist Doula"














: my little booby bandito, Antonin









I love my super supportive DH







Our kitties!


----------



## AntoninBeGonin

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gridley13*
so sorry if I am repeating this comeback.

I have never gotten to use this one, because I am happy to say I haven't ever received a rude comment about NIP. But in my mind, it goes something like this:

Me (nursing ds on a bench in say, the grocery store)
Rude Person: I can't believe you are doing that in plain view!
Me: Oh, I am sorry... does it offend you?
RP: Yes, it does! I don't want to see that when I am grocery shopping!
Me: ummm (looking around) Do you know where the bathrooms are?
RP: Yes, (pointing) right over there.
Me: Ok, why don't you go in there and sit in a stall. I'll come get you when he's done.

:LOL

I love it!! I practice potential conversations in my head, too









~Nay "The Intactavist Doula"














: my little booby bandito, Antonin









I love my super supportive DH







Our kitties!


----------



## AntoninBeGonin

Quote:


Originally Posted by *the_lissa*
Well I don't know about a jersey cow, but definitely some breed of cow









Hehe, one of my smart-alecky quips I tell people is:

(Person) Wow, your son really is a mama's boy (meant in a good, attached way)

(Me **wink**) Nah, he's a daddy's boy. I'm just the cow.

That gets the biggest belly laughs.







I used it at the daycare where I used to teach and you never heard so many woman cackling at once









~Nay "The Intactavist Doula"














: my little booby bandito, Antonin









I love my super supportive DH







Our kitties!


----------



## mandalamama

Willow is 9.5 months old and we are just now starting to get all the stupid comments i've read about on this thread! i think it's because she's always looking around at other people and smiling, they take it as an invitation to come over. that i have no problem with, i like the Continuum Concept philosophy, i love for her to see and interact with lots of people. most of the time she just gets complimented, her hair ruffed a bit, or she'll reach out and hold someone's hand (or nose! *lol*) BUT! now that's she babbling all the time, talking a bit, and crawling and cruising, we're starting to get the really stupid comments:

"there go the baby days, now you're in for trouble!"
"don't you miss it when they're quiet and don't move?"
"bet you get tired of all that (talking/crawling)!"
"she must drive you crazy with all that nonsense"
"they're so much nicer when they're little" (i guess meaning newborn?)
i finally figured out what to say: "i am tired, but i LOVE that she's so active and talkative! it's worth me being tired to watch her blossom"









every time she makes any noise, people all over New England have said "tell me all your secrets and lies!" is this a regional thing? or in other parts of the country? secrets maybe, but lies, from a baby??

from some mainstream friends: "why are you going through all the trouble re-lactating, when she's at the age where she'd wean herself anyway?"







:

last night on family date night:
"you should get a sitter, so you don't have to be distracted by the baby all the time" (we both said at the same time, "we LOVE being with her!!" and then cracked up)
"she's telling you she hates Chinese food" (yeah, pears are so foreign *duh*)
"you've got her trained like a dog!" (after watching her clap her hands when we clapped ours, or waving hi to people)
"she's got you on a leash!" (huh?? watching me feeding her little bits of fruit while she was in the sling)

we get 90% good response, to be fair. most people are respectful, talk directly to her, or ask questions about the sling. it's just the few stupid comments that really irk me.


----------



## retromama

oh my....I can't believe I made it to the end (and I've probably already forgotten half the thread!) It has been so great to see that all the things that have been driving me crazy happen to lots of people. I mean, not that it's great that it's happening to so many people but....that DH and I are not alone, you know?

The two things that strike me the most from our own experience and everything I've read here:

1 -- Something happens to people when they become grandparents that apparently turns them insane. I cannot believe the nonsense I hear from my Dad and my ILs. Luckily, my Stepmom backs off and is cool, and my (very crunchy) mom is 100% supportive. (In fact, she said to me "I will only give you _one_ piece of unsolicited advice. _Don't rush potty training._ No matter what anyone says to you, wait til the baby is clearly ready") But the awful stuff and the eyerolling, especially from MIL who is obviously convinced we're "ruining" our daughter (and if you knew what kind of parent she was you'd know how hilarious her critiquing us actually is!) -- UGH!! Just in case there is something about grandparenthood that makes normal people crazy (because I never expected any of this behavior), I wrote a letter to DD telling her that if I step out of line ONCE if she has a baby, to sit me down and tell me to think about how everyone was treating me...(I've been writing her occasional letters since I got PG with the intention of giving them to her when she's grown at some point).

2 -- when it comes to feeding your baby, you CANNOT WIN. If you BF, people make comments, act disgusted, and god forbid you're still nursing after 12 months. If you bottlefeed (EBM or formula since people assume it's formula) everyone feels compelled to tell you how breast is best and ask you what's "wrong" with you. I absolutely do not get how this works! And what happened to good manners? Neither method is any stranger's effing business.

Especially hurtful -- the constant assumption that bottlefeeding mothers obviously chose that route because they are ill-informed. Of all the mothers I know, many went to formula before 12 months -- I have only met 2 mothers ever who actually chose to use formula. And why do bottlefeeding moms feel compelled to tell "ridiculous stories" as one poster put it? In my experience, because they DO feel guilty, because they ARE informed and fully intended to BF -- and they know perfectly well they're being judged by people who assume they just couldn't be bothered to BF. I personally physically couldn't BF and so I pumped so that DD would be on EBM exclusively as long as possible. Trust me, if I could have BF instead I would have because it would have been so much easier and pleasanter than pumping. I made it to 7 months and that _ought_ to be reason to celebrate -- instead I am constantly on the defensive and feeling compelled to justify myself (as I just did -- see, it always happens!) as I constantly get or read comments about how moms like me could have just tried harder, or just didn't know how to get a good latch, or could have done this or that, etc etc etc. (I do realize that most people who say those sort of things do so because they personally know moms who did in fact just not want to be bothered -- there are of course plenty of women who were totally happy to shove a formula bottle in the newborn's mouth. But comments like that kill those of us who Really. Did. Try.)

I just wish that people would direct their feelings about the whole BF/formula issue towards the hospitals, the doctors, the nurses and the bad LCs who are out there (and they are out there!) instead of towards the moms.

Okay, went on about that a bit, sorry!! Back OT:

Stupidest things I've heard so far:

(when I wouldn't let MIL take DD in her skanky apt complex swimming pool at 5 months): "well, you know she's going to grow up afraid of the water."

(when I wouldn't let MIL start taking DD for sleepovers after about 5-6 weeks): "you older parents, you're so possessive. you're going to mess her up."

(from MIL at a party) "Well I was telling my manicurist all about your labor and delivery all afternoon--"

(from MIL -- different party): shrieked across the room at another guest "Well SHE (pointing at me) pumps her BREASTS to give the baby MILK!" Um, maybe the entire party didn't need to know this?

(from everyone): "doesn't that baby sleep in a crib yet?" "How's she ever going to learn to sleep normally?" (so she sleeps abnormally now?) "well of course she'll have to sleep in there someday..." (um, no?)

(said to a close friend by HER MIL when everyone was kicked out of the delivery room): "but I wanted to cut the cord!"

Oh! And the possible winner -- after having contractions for a week (2 min. apart for the last 4 days), being in active labor for over 24 hours, in the hospital with complications, on a super-high dose of pitocin (my OB, bless her, busted her ass to avoid a c-section), and no epi, I finally fell asleep for the first time in 2 days while DH ran home to feed the cats and get some more clothes. After being asleep for maybe half an hour I'm woken up by a nurse who says "Your mother-in-law is here, can she come to your room?" All I could manage was a weak "um....no?" Luckily, DH got back to the hospital while she was there and actually dropped the f-bomb on her and told her off for showing up when we had specifically asked everyone not to come by until we called. When he found out I'd been woken up because she was there he went ballistic. In fact, I think I've actually never forgiven her for this one, now that I think about it....

Anyway, that's it from me! Thanks everyone for such a cathatic, entertaining and informative thread!!!


----------



## retromama

whoops, sorry, that's not it....

I meant to also say, reading all these posts has made me feel so grateful for my OB and Ped, both of whom have been so supportive and helpful -- no offense to anyone but we almost switched Peds before DD was born because we saw some award up in his office from a local Republican group (a slightly hardcore conservative group we knew about) and thank god we didn't! The best thing he ever said to me "Look, whatever you're doing, just keep doing it because she is absolutely healthy and happy!"


----------



## heathenmom

And a new one from my mom, just 2 hours ago:

She asked where the crib was after noticing that it wasn't in the nursery. I told her it was in our bedroom. Since dh insisted that we at least try to get her to sleep in it, and *I'm* the one who gets up with her all night, every night, I told him that we had to move it in there. She stood in it twice, and hasn't slept in it at all, which I'm perfectly happy with. :LOL

Her response: So are you going to let her have her own room when she goes to school?







: First of all, NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Second, when you're getting up with her at night, MAYBE you can make that decision. Third, she's not even a year old? Why in the world do I have to treat her like she's a teenager starting NOW?









*sigh* I'm so tired of my family second-guessing every decision we make. It's really starting to frustrate the crap out of me.


----------



## UptownZoo

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mellybean*
every time she makes any noise, people all over New England have said "tell me all your secrets and lies!" is this a regional thing? or in other parts of the country? secrets maybe, but lies, from a baby??

Hmm...I've never heard that one, so maybe it is regional? I live in the Southwest. When a baby coos or gurgles at me, I always say, "Tell me a story, baby! Tell me everything!" There are few things in life I enjoy more than a conversation with a 4 month old baby!


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## Thursday Girl

mellybean my grandma said "tell me all your secrets and lies" to my baby. she is from Upstate New York.

i like to say "you don't say?" to babies

since i don't know what they said. plus the way i do my voice they think is funny


----------



## the_lissa

I say you don't sya to babies too.


----------



## Mummoth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jewelysmommy*
mellybean my grandma said "tell me all your secrets and lies" to my baby. she is from Upstate New York.

i like to say "you don't say?" to babies

since i don't know what they said. plus the way i do my voice they think is funny

My family sometimes says "You had a red wagon but the wheels fell off?"


----------



## AntoninBeGonin

Quote:


Originally Posted by *findingMYway*
My story is, my daughters then 3, 6, and 7 were helping me pick out fruit at the grocery store. No one was tantruming and it was actually ending up a really great grocery trip. This older lady walks up to me and says aren't they just driving you crazy. I used to spank mine when they were acting like that. My mouth just fell open and I couldn't say anything. They were being really great and nice and just helping me so I guess she means if her kids even moved to touch anything.







: I was in shock. She said it so bitterly too.









I would have said, "So, let me get this straight. You used to spank your children for doing as you asked? Mmm-hmm, and no one ever called child services on you?" Throw a disgusted look in there, too. Idiotic woman.









~Nay "The Intactavist Doula"














: my little booby bandito, Antonin









I love my super supportive DH







Our kitties!


----------



## mamagoose

wow, what a great, fascinating, irritating thread -- I can't believe some of these comments!! I've been lucky not to have received too many (knock on wood), but there've been a few:

first, while pg I got SICK AND TIRED of everyone and their dog (actually not my family, just strangers and coworkers) telling me how hard and horrible parenting was going to be, you know "just wait, you'll never sleep again", "get ready not to see your husband for years," "better sleep now while you can," "this (being pregnant) is the easy part" (well, duh). I kept wondering why no one was coming up to me and saying "you're going to love being a mama more than anything" or "wait until you see how wonderful and fun it will be". And then one day at the deli counter at the grocery store an older woman started talking to me, and as I was bracing myself for one more "you're going to be so sleep-deprived" story, she said "I had my daughter when I was 25 and she's been the absolute light of my life." Not a negative comment from her. I was so happy.

The only bad comments I've received after DS was born were from my fil:
(when I refused to leave 5-day old ds (!!) with a sitter to have dinner out w/fil and dh: "well, you have 2 choices. you can leave him with someone and have a life, or you can breastfeed him until he's 16 and ruin him." DH flatly informed his dad that no way in h*** were we leaving ds w/a sitter. if we were going out, he was coming with us.

the other came out of nowhere, again when ds was about a week old:
fil: so if you were in a nursery full of babies do you think you could pick out yours?
me: absolutely.
fil: I bet you couldn't
me: (picture a steel smile on my face and an even steelier tone in my voice): yes, I could.

I felt like hitting him until I realized that he just doesn't get it. He raised 3 kids pretty well and was an involved dad all their lives, but he's obviously never been a new mama head over heels in love w/her baby. I could have been surrounded by a thousand newborns and I could still have picked out sweet DS in a heartbeat by his patchy red hair, hairy little pointed ears, chubby little quadricepts, long, long fingers... crazy!!


----------



## AntoninBeGonin

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Macncheezex3*
Well I haven't read this WHOLE thread, but I plan to - In the meantime, I have had it with ppl telling me how to raise my child!
My dad informed me the best thing to give a baby who is teething is a chicken bone. Ok, I don't even give my DOG a chicken bone, why would I give one to my 16 mth old?! While my dad is very pro-cloth diapering, I would expect better from him.

Actually, in the Baby Book, Dr. Sears recommends given a teething baby a chicken leg bone that has been completely stripped of all meat, tendons, sinews, gristle, skin, and breakable bone fragments.

I've never done it myself, but he says it worked with his eight kids.









~Nay "The Intactavist Doula"














: my little booby bandito, Antonin









I love my super supportive DH







Our kitties!


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mummoth*
My family sometimes says "You had a red wagon but the wheels fell off?"

part of my family says that dd is telling dirty jokes


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## AntoninBeGonin

After nearly two weeks of reading this thread every day I finally made it to the end **cheers!** So now I can add my own horror stories to the collection.

By far the worse thing that happened was when DS was almost four months old. We flew down to Va. to see my family for Xmas. At that point DS was still exclusively breastfed. It was Xmas Eve and we were at my Mamaw's with some other family having dinner. I spent a lot of time nursing him that night. My great-aunt made a big deal of it. She proudly told a story of how she almost died as a baby until the doctor gave her cream of wheat to eat. Now she's convinced that cream of wheat is soooo much healthier than a mother's own milk









To make a long story short ("that baby needs a bottle! He needs (the almighty) formula...etc.") after we got back to Il. she emailed me a very long, very nasty email telling me that if I didn't stop breastfeeding I was guarenteed to kill our son. That was 8 months ago and I still don't think I could speak to her without feeling very angry at this point. DH has decided he absolutely loathes her. He'd only met her once before then (and I hadn't seen her in years except for the time DH met her) so at least the comment didn't come from someone we were actually close with.

~Nay "The Intactavist Doula"














: my little booby bandito, Antonin









I love my super supportive DH







Our kitties!


----------



## AntoninBeGonin

Something interesting I noticed while I was pregnant is that in general people who give birth naturally have much better birth experiences than those who chose to give birth medicated. I know a woman who had 6 kids no drugs, another 4 kids no drugs, another 3 kids no drugs--they loved it. The people who were "I wanted drugs from the first contraction" couldn't tell me enough about how horrible giving birth is.

I didn't make it a secret I planned to have DS 100% naturally. One woman I worked with (1 year older than me, and had a 1 year old) told me there was no way on earth anyone could ever have a baby naturally. She just thought I was completely, positively, without-a-doubt insane.







Hehe. She, of course, wanted an elective Cesearan birth after being drugged, IV'd, catherized, monitored, the works. The sad thing is, I bet next time instead of learning about giving birth she'll just induce and get her elective section. Bah on our medical system for allowing that!

ps.
She didn't have a cesarean, she asked for one after she started pushing.

~Nay "The Intactavist Doula"














: my little booby bandito, Antonin









I love my super supportive DH







Our kitties!


----------



## shishkeberry

Quote:

In my experience, because they DO feel guilty, because they ARE informed and fully intended to BF -- and they know perfectly well they're being judged by people who assume they just couldn't be bothered to BF. I personally physically couldn't BF and so I pumped so that DD would be on EBM exclusively as long as possible. Trust me, if I could have BF instead I would have because it would have been so much easier and pleasanter than pumping. I made it to 7 months and that ought to be reason to celebrate -- instead I am constantly on the defensive and feeling compelled to justify myself (as I just did -- see, it always happens!) as I constantly get or read comments about how moms like me could have just tried harder, or just didn't know how to get a good latch, or could have done this or that, etc etc etc.
Oh, I know how you feel! My DS has been getting formula supplements since he was 10 months old and now that he's 12 months we're down to only nursing 0-2 times a day and he still gets a lot of formula bottles (we're doing extended formula feeding since my DS is still so little). And I'm always explaining to people why he's getting formula and not my milk! I'm so afraid they're going to think that I'm formula feeding him by choice, when I'm not! I'll even slip "I really wanted to nurse him for at least two years" into conversation if I can









I still haven't gotten up the nerve to give him a bottle in public.







: When we're in public I always try to make that his nursing time.


----------



## indiana ima

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AntoninBeGonin*
She didn't have a cesarean, she asked for one after she started pushing.

hey, you know, i was begging and yelling for a c-section while in transition with my 3rd baby. of course, i was begging and yelling on the floor in front of my bathroom while my midwife was trying to figure out how to turn on my shower, and my daughter was born in that shower a few minutes later, but still.


----------



## soccerchic21

I got pregnant with DS when DD was 15 months old and still nursing. My mom was very worried that nursing DD while being pregnant was going to take amniotic fluid away from DS. I had to tell her that my Dr. said it was ok. She wouldn't lay off until she heard that.

MIL said c-section babies grow up having rounder heads because they don't come down the birth canal.....umm ok whatever. She must not know that their heads aren't fused yet.

MIL also told me the common thing of putting rice cereal in a bottle for DD to help her sleep through the night.

My mom told me to scrub my nipples in the shower when I was pregnant with DD to rough them up and get them ready for breastfeeding.

I am sure there are many others that I can't remember now.


----------



## CluckyInAZ

my MIDWIFE told me that nonsense about roughing up my nipples for breastfeeding, and also told me I would have a hard time of it since I am fair-skinned. Needless to say I stopped seeing her soon afterward. How could I trust any medical "knowledge" she had if she was so off and outdated about breastfeeding?


----------



## peaceful_mama

I was told the same thing after my son was born! My friend said she felt horrible she hadn't told me to do what she did with her flatt-ish nipples--a doc-friend of hers told her to pull on them in the shower to get them sticking out more or she'd never be able to bf. (This is a friend who's like a 2nd mom to me, her youngest kid is 15, oldest 24 I think) And she said people who are more fair-skinned like us are more likely to have flat nipple problems.

I don't know if it's true or not, I don't go around comparing nips, but she was able to bf all 4 of her kids--I don't know how long she went with her oldest, but the twins she went till 2.5. The youngest she had to go back to work right away and she said she was never good with a pump, he got about 4 months.

Don't know though maybe it would've worked no matter what. Somebody told me once the nipples don't matter much, babies latch onto your BREAST not NIPPLES....


----------



## crescentaluna

Quote:

...I would have a hard time of it since I am fair-skinned.
And I was told how lucky I was being dark-skinned, because "your nipples are just tougher!" Might have been reassuring IF I wasn't at that moment a brand-new mama with two bloody nipples and a hungry day-old. I felt like the world's biggest wuss and meanie to recoil from my little love with tears in my eyes ... after all, it wasn't REALLY painful.







You just can't win, right?


----------



## Aura_Kitten

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AntoninBeGonin*
Something interesting I noticed while I was pregnant is that in general people who give birth naturally have much better birth experiences than those who chose to give birth medicated. I know a woman who had 6 kids no drugs, another 4 kids no drugs, another 3 kids no drugs--they loved it. The people who were "I wanted drugs from the first contraction" couldn't tell me enough about how horrible giving birth is.


i know where you're coming from!! totally.

although i have met a couple of people who absolutely LOVED their intervention-filled births...







so, you know, no absolutes and all that.


----------



## kelseybelle

AntoninBeGonin said:


> Something interesting I noticed while I was pregnant is that in general people who give birth naturally have much better birth experiences than those who chose to give birth medicated. I know a woman who had 6 kids no drugs, another 4 kids no drugs, another 3 kids no drugs--they loved it. The people who were "I wanted drugs from the first contraction" couldn't tell me enough about how horrible giving birth is.
> 
> I didn't make it a secret I planned to have DS 100% naturally. One woman I worked with (1 year older than me, and had a 1 year old) told me there was no way on earth anyone could ever have a baby naturally. She just thought I was completely, positively, without-a-doubt insane.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Hehe. She, of course, wanted an elective Cesearan birth after being drugged, IV'd, catherized, monitored, the works. The sad thing is, I bet next time instead of learning about giving birth she'll just induce and get her elective section. Bah on our medical system for allowing that!
> -------------------------------------------------------------
> did you have a Bradley birth? That's exactly what Dr. Bradley says about natural childbirth mothers...that they have wonderful experiences. I tell you what, in my whole nine months of pregnancy I only had one, ONE mother encourage me for wanting to have ds naturally. I went on to have a beautiful labor/delivery experience bringing ds into the world naturally. You'd think ppl would be more supportive! Same w/ most every parenting style though I guess, just today this lady rambled on and on about her PREMATURE dd who's only 3 mo and ff b/c it was "just too demanding" waking up every 2 hours to feed her, that she's "sleeping through the night" b/c she's already dropped her night time feed and even though sometimes she reverts back and wants it she won't feed her b/c she's already dropped it...blah blah blah. Makes me sad.


----------



## AntoninBeGonin

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kelseybelle*
did you have a Bradley birth? That's exactly what Dr. Bradley says about natural childbirth mothers...that they have wonderful experiences. I tell you what, in my whole nine months of pregnancy I only had one, ONE mother encourage me for wanting to have ds naturally. I went on to have a beautiful labor/delivery experience bringing ds into the world naturally. You'd think ppl would be more supportive! Same w/ most every parenting style though I guess, just today this lady rambled on and on about her PREMATURE dd who's only 3 mo and ff b/c it was "just too demanding" waking up every 2 hours to feed her, that she's "sleeping through the night" b/c she's already dropped her night time feed and even though sometimes she reverts back and wants it she won't feed her b/c she's already dropped it...blah blah blah. Makes me sad.

Nope, not officially. I did read a Bradley book and use some of the techniques, though.









That's too bad about the woman and her dd. People are just crazy, aren't they? She won't feed her premature infant even when she's hungry? That's just mean, I bet her butt gets out of bed whenever her stomach growls. Grrr I wish I could run around the world, saving babies from their undeserving mamas and daddies and give them to people who would truly cherish them. Stupid, selfish, self-centered people won't even take 15 minutes (or so) to feed their babies...







:

~Nay "The Intactavist Doula"














: my little booby bandito, Antonin









I love my super supportive DH







Our kitties!


----------



## AntoninBeGonin

Quote:


Originally Posted by *uptownzoo*
Hmm...I've never heard that one, so maybe it is regional? I live in the Southwest. When a baby coos or gurgles at me, I always say, "Tell me a story, baby! Tell me everything!" There are few things in life I enjoy more than a conversation with a 4 month old baby!

I always say, "Oh, it that true? Then what happened?"









~Nay "The Intactavist Doula"














: my little booby bandito, Antonin









I love my super supportive DH







Our kitties!


----------



## AntoninBeGonin

Quote:


Originally Posted by *shishkeberry*
Oh, I know how you feel! My DS has been getting formula supplements since he was 10 months old and now that he's 12 months we're down to only nursing 0-2 times a day and he still gets a lot of formula bottles (we're doing extended formula feeding since my DS is still so little). And I'm always explaining to people why he's getting formula and not my milk! I'm so afraid they're going to think that I'm formula feeding him by choice, when I'm not! I'll even slip "I really wanted to nurse him for at least two years" into conversation if I can









I still haven't gotten up the nerve to give him a bottle in public.







: When we're in public I always try to make that his nursing time.

I had trouble breastfeeding at first. DS was born 8 lbs. 10 oz. By his second month he was below the 2nd percentile. Doctor wanted me to either supplement or start on solids. We chose not to because we were demand feeding, and he was meeting all his milestones.

It took us three entire months to establish a good breastfeeding relationship. You know how earlier in the thread people were talking about pumping and how many streams of milk they could see? I never saw more than 4 streams. No matter how often I'd pump I could never get more than two ounces total from both sides. So yeah, I kinda know how some of you feel about this.









~Nay "The Intactavist Doula"














: my little booby bandito, Antonin









I love my super supportive DH







Our kitties!


----------



## peaceful_mama

hmmmm that woman who wouldn't get up and feed her baby would really think what I did was insane then...........get up, attempt to nurse DS, end up giving bottle (because I was intimidated into it and had NO background on what to do if baby would not latch and nurse because I honestly didn't know it could happen!







) then sit and pump 15-20 mins. Easily an hour long routine.
I shortened this to just staying up 20-25 mins to pump after I decided for my own sanity, I *had* to shorten this routine and save the trying to nurse for daytime and allow someone else to feed him while I pumped.....I kept that night pumping in until I started back to work and would still do it weekends and vacations then.
Can't believe there are people so lazy they won't even just feed the baby....hmmm......if they were bf'ing they could just roll over and do it...which was one of the MANY reasons I wanted to be able to do it so much!! (Of course providing the food my baby expected was at the top of the list...but no bottles, no warming, no spoiling, and no getting up at night ranked way up there too!!)

anyway not to go on with 'oh I had it SO HARD......' but the point is I really absolutely canNOT relate to that...


----------



## retromama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *shishkeberry*
I still haven't gotten up the nerve to give him a bottle in public.







: When we're in public I always try to make that his nursing time.










I know exactly what you mean, I've always hated giving DD a bottle in public -- even when it was 100% breast milk! I just would be sitting there, steeling myself for the looks and ready to give out with the explanation. And of course the two moms I know of who _did_ FF by choice are totally not like that, they whip out the bottle and could care less what people say.

I'm kind of freaked out by how many people hear stupid/uninformed things from midwives and LCs...it kind of makes me feel like, "who can you trust, then?"


----------



## krlynn76

WOW














I cant believe someone really said that the penis could go in and there was still a chance for a girl That is outrageous !!


----------



## krlynn76

That is an absolutely awful thing to say to someone. How did you NOT hit her? I am sorry for your loss. People can be so ignorant at times.


----------



## pjlioness

Quote:


Originally Posted by *krlynn76*
WOW














I cant believe someone really said that the penis could go in and there was still a chance for a girl That is outrageous !!

and

Quote:


Originally Posted by *krlynn*
That is an absolutely awful thing to say to someone. How did you NOT hit her? I am sorry for your loss. People can be so ignorant at times.


Not sure which post(s?) you're referring to...it would help if you'd quote...this is such a long thread.


----------



## nepenthesea

I don't have children yet, so this didn't happen with my children, but it was still VERY irritating. I was reminded of this when I read somebody's previous post about their 4 year old, and how he had never drank soda, and would probably be the only one in school who hadn't.

Back in April, I was visiting my family. I have a 6 y/o niece and 4 y/o nephew. My dad took my sister, niece and nephew out for food, and it was fast food. I have to say that I am a Dr. Pepper fanatic (or was before I got pg, anyway), but I was trying to cut down, and just didn't want one that evening. So we stood in line and gave our orders, and my sister ordered water for the kids. The woman at the counter was like, "That's it? Just water?" DS said yes, and she looks at the kids and says "We have milk, juice and soda if you'd rather have that", which I thought was really out of line. My sister said, no, give them water. Then my sister ordered water for herself, and my dad ordered water (he's a borderline diabetic). The woman kept making a big deal about how we all wanted water. Then I gave my order, and she was like, "Let me guess- you want water, right? Must be a family thing." She was very sarcastic about it.

I normally don't let things like that bother me, but I was so annoyed. Especially when she tried to "help the kids out" by telling them what else they had. Maybe she was annoyed that water is free, so they weren't going to make like $5 off sodas. I guess you should expect that sort of thing from a fast food place. I was just surprised, when even McD's has water and all that these days. I mean, it's WATER...who cares?

I'm sure I'll have alot more to add now that I'm pg. My family is very mainstream, but most of them are cool about this. But I live in such a conservative area, that I'm sure I'll be hearing all kinds of "good advice".


----------



## AntoninBeGonin

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nepenthesea*
I don't have children yet, so this didn't happen with my children, but it was still VERY irritating...


How rude of her!! She was way out of line. I would have asked for the manager.

Imaginary conversation in my head right now:

rude cashier: blah blah blah kids need soda, lots of soda!!

me: Excuse me? Have you looked around? Do you see how obese our population has become, largly thanks to your 10 gallon bucket sodas and fries the size of a football stadium. My sister wants to instill healthy eating habits in her kids. If YOU have a problem I will speak to your manager.

hehe

~Nay "The Intactavist Doula"














: my little booby bandito, Antonin









I love my super supportive DH








Our kitties!


----------



## soccerchic21

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nepenthesea*
The woman at the counter was like, "That's it? Just water?" DS said yes, and she looks at the kids and says "We have milk, juice and soda if you'd rather have that", which I thought was really out of line. My sister said, no, give them water.

That IS very annoying! and way out of line. Your story made me think of when I was pregnant with my first and I was at a BBQ at a friends house (which is now our house :LOL) and another friend of ours had a 2 year old son and she wouldn't let him have soda or juice and one other gal commented to me about it like he was so missing out because she was so mean and only let him have water and milk...internally I was thinking..what is wrong with that?


----------



## Jadzia

Quote:

Something interesting I noticed while I was pregnant is that in general people who give birth naturally have much better birth experiences than those who chose to give birth medicated. I know a woman who had 6 kids no drugs, another 4 kids no drugs, another 3 kids no drugs--they loved it. The people who were "I wanted drugs from the first contraction" couldn't tell me enough about how horrible giving birth is.
I so know what you mean. I sort of have it on both ends. I longed for/planned a natural birth at an alternative birthing center and I had so many people tell me beforehand I was crazy and I was going to beg for drugs, etc. I ended up laboring naturally just fine, but ended up needing a c-section after pushing for 4 hours and my posterior baby would not turn. So to all the people who told me I wasn't going to do it, I feel like a failure. But I do feel proud that I went through my entire labor to 10 cm AND pushed for 4 hours w/o drugs.

I hate it when people say to me "That sucks you had to go through all that labor when you were going to need a C-section", and they completely miss the point. They aren't sorry I had the C-section, but they are sorry I had the labor! I always quickly correct them and tell them that I am HAPPY I got to experience natural labor. I will always be sad and regret that I was unable to deliver my baby naturally (and will never be able to experience labor again due to a T-shaped incision to my uterus), but at least I can hold on to the fact that I did get to experience what labor is like.

It is like running a marathon and being pulled out the race 100 feet before the finish line. I am heartbroken that I can never say I finished the race, but I at least know what I was able to accomplish and I am proud of myself that I made it as far as I did.


----------



## jenP

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nepenthesea*
Maybe she was annoyed that water is free, so they weren't going to make like $5 off sodas. I guess you should expect that sort of thing from a fast food place.

Nah, I REALLY doubt the cashier gave half a care about how much money the store would make off you. I've worked in fast food, and we only suggested pies, fries, etc. when a manager was close by, because we were supposed to do it with every order. My guess is she was just dumbfounded someone would actually just want water.
I would've said, "Did it ever occur to you that we KNOW what drinks you have available and can easily afford them, but we are ordering water because that is actually what we like best to drink with a meal??"

Jen


----------



## cinnamonamon

I had a cashier at McDonalds (hangs head in shame that she went there) tell me I *had* to order a drink with my son's happy meal...







: It's bad enough I let him have fries -- like I'm givin my 2 year old soda or (100% non-)"juice" from there!

mamaintheboonies -- thank you so much for enlightening me/us -- I had no idea there were so many terrible things still happening to native americans...


----------



## Nora'sMama

I was just at a family reunion and had plenty of interesting comments, but this one was the best...

from my cousin's wife, who is a pediatrician...

According to her, the reason there were at one time a lot of SIDS cases in New York (I don't know where she got the info that this was the case, but whatever) ...was because poor women were actually smothering their babies with their BOOBS while co-sleeping and it was being misclassified as SIDS!

OK, what the...?


----------



## AntoninBeGonin

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jadzia*
I hate it when people say to me "That sucks you had to go through all that labor when you were going to need a C-section", and they completely miss the point. They aren't sorry I had the C-section, but they are sorry I had the labor! I always quickly correct them and tell them that I am HAPPY I got to experience natural labor. I will always be sad and regret that I was unable to deliver my baby naturally (and will never be able to experience labor again due to a T-shaped incision to my uterus), but at least I can hold on to the fact that I did get to experience what labor is like.

It is like running a marathon and being pulled out the race 100 feet before the finish line. I am heartbroken that I can never say I finished the race, but I at least know what I was able to accomplish and I am proud of myself that I made it as far as I did.

Jadzia (beautiful name, by the way)










~Nay "The Intactavist Doula"














: my little booby bandito, Antonin









I love my super supportive DH







Our kitties!


----------



## heathenmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AntoninBeGonin*
Jadzia (beautiful name, by the way)

Okay, this is driving me crazy ... isn't this from a movie or a book or a TV show or SOMETHING?


----------



## ErinEmily

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jadzia*
...I hate it when people say to me "That sucks you had to go through all that labor when you were going to need a C-section", and they completely miss the point. They aren't sorry I had the C-section, but they are sorry I had the labor! I always quickly correct them and tell them that I am HAPPY I got to experience natural labor. I will always be sad and regret that I was unable to deliver my baby naturally (and will never be able to experience labor again due to a T-shaped incision to my uterus), but at least I can hold on to the fact that I did get to experience what labor is like. ....

I am sorry you ended you with the C-section as well. I had the T incision as well due to my daughters head being stuck. Can I ask, does this make you worried about more children? I always thought I wanted 3 or mabye 4 but now I am pretty sure we're only going to have the two.

thanks.

ErinEmily


----------



## mollyeilis

re: jadzia

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heathenmom*
Okay, this is driving me crazy ... isn't this from a movie or a book or a TV show or SOMETHING?

I don't know if SHE got the name from the show, but one of the Star Trek spinoffs had a character Jadzia Dax. I remembered b/c the actress is quite beautiful, even with the markings down her face.







Same actress later married the Sprint? Verizon? (not "can you hear me now", but the guy in the long coat) guy.


----------



## heathenmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mollyeilis*
re: jadzia

I don't know if SHE got the name from the show, but one of the Star Trek spinoffs had a character Jadzia Dax. I remembered b/c the actress is quite beautiful, even with the markings down her face.







Same actress later married the Sprint? Verizon? (not "can you hear me now", but the guy in the long coat) guy.









THAT'S IT!!!! Okay, I can sleep now.


----------



## AntoninBeGonin

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heathenmom*
Okay, this is driving me crazy ... isn't this from a movie or a book or a TV show or SOMETHING?


Jadzia is a character on Star Trek Deep Space Nine.

~Nay "The Intactavist Doula"














: my little booby bandito, Antonin









I love my super supportive DH







Our kitties!


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nepenthesea*
So we stood in line and gave our orders, and my sister ordered water for the kids. The woman at the counter was like, "That's it? Just water?" DS said yes, and she looks at the kids and says "We have milk, juice and soda if you'd rather have that", which I thought was really out of line. My sister said, no, give them water.

Ugh, people do this to us all the time when we eat out. The sad thing is my dd is 13 months old! WHY would I give my one year old soda??? That's disgusting. Actually we're trying to cut down on the amount of soda we drink so maybe by the time dd is older we will have healthier drinking habits to impress upon her. I guess we're just


----------



## MelissaEvans

I could understand the clerk asking, "Did you know we have juice and milk also?" because I don't associate fast food with groceries. But she was just being rude.

Jadzia - I'm so sorry the last bit of birth wasn't made an option for you. Congratulations on learning your strength through labor! DS's birth was very very similar (30 hours unmedicated labor, the last 3 were pushing, to end in a c/sec). The thing that kept me sane was the video "Delivery Self Attachment." I saw an older version in school where a mom labored unmedicated, ended in a surgical birth (obviously was medicated for that), and the baby was still very alert and able to crawl up mom's tummy and nurse unassisted. Since the meds weren't in mom very long before the baby was born, it didn't affect her newborn. =)


----------



## Jadzia

Yes, Jadzia Dax from Star Trek: DS9 is my namesake. I *love* that character.

Thanks for all the support, mommas.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *ErinEmily*
I am sorry you ended you with the C-section as well. I had the T incision as well due to my daughters head being stuck. Can I ask, does this make you worried about more children? I always thought I wanted 3 or mabye 4 but now I am pretty sure we're only going to have the two.

thanks.

ErinEmily

I can have more children thankfully, but according to my doctor, I will have to have a planned C-section. From what I have read, a VBAC would be too risky, since the rupture rate with a T incision is much higher than a normal C-section incision. From what I gather, I would have a hard time finding a midwife or anyone to attend the birth. As much as I'd love to try for a VBAC, I think the risk is something at 5% for rupture which would be too great of a risk. I would not want to risk my baby's life just so I could have the birth that I didn't get to have the first time.

My doctor had mentioned a planned C-section somewhere in the 37th week (I guess to avoid the risk of going into labor first.) When and if I get pregnant again, I fully intend to put off any planned c-section until the last possible moment. I would hate for my baby to be delivered too early and for that to interfere with breastfeeding. But I guess I'll have to figure that out once I get pregnant and find a dotor that will give me a C-section as late as possible.

My baby is one year old today!







I am still no where near thinking of getting pregnant again any time soon. He still takes 200% of my attention. I also had a lot of compliations after my C-section (massive blood loss, 2 transfusions, re-hospitalized for a hematoma and infection) so sometimes I get scared at the thought of having more children. But everyone always assures me that a planned C-section will be nowhere near as awful as what I experienced the first time. I think in a few years I'll be ready.

I am sorry you had to have the T incision also. I don't hear of many women that had that, so I usually feel so alone even when I talk to other C-section mamas.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *MelissaEvans*
Jadzia - I'm so sorry the last bit of birth wasn't made an option for you. Congratulations on learning your strength through labor! DS's birth was very very similar (30 hours unmedicated labor, the last 3 were pushing, to end in a c/sec). The thing that kept me sane was the video "Delivery Self Attachment." I saw an older version in school where a mom labored unmedicated, ended in a surgical birth (obviously was medicated for that), and the baby was still very alert and able to crawl up mom's tummy and nurse unassisted. Since the meds weren't in mom very long before the baby was born, it didn't affect her newborn. =)

I'll have to check that video out sometime. That is so true about about the meds. My baby has always been so alert ever since birth and I have wondered if it was because I did not get drugs until the very moment they opened me up. After I agreed to the section, we had to wait 45 minutes for the anesthesiologist, and by that time the contractions were coming about 30 seconds apart and I could no longer push. They decided to wait until they wheeled me into the O/R and do a spinal (which takes effect immediately), instead of giving me an epidural beforehand which would have taken 15 minutes or so. So I was in pain for longer, but only medicated right before the surgery.

He never had any problems nursing, either, which I am eternally grateful. I hear many other mama's that have C-sections have problems getting the baby to latch on at first. I was lucky I had a great hospital where I was able to get the baby immediately in recovery and latch him on, and also room in with him the entire time.

I can't believe you made it through 30 hours!







I was lucky my labor was fairly quick, only about 8 hours until I started pushing. I'm sorry you had to have the c-section, also.









Back to dumb things people say-- does it bother you when you hear mamas talk about their C-sections like they were no big deal? I still am mourning mine and I feel like such an alien when I talk to another woman who has had a section and is so casual about it. It makes me feel like I am a drama queen or something. And they usually had a C-section for something that sounded like it was for the doctor's benefit, like failure to progress in the labor. My neighbor had a C-section and she couldn't believe that I had gotten up to 10 centimeters and still needed a C-section!


----------



## mollyeilis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jadzia*
Back to dumb things people say-- does it bother you when you hear mamas talk about their C-sections like they were no big deal? I still am mourning mine and I feel like such an alien when I talk to another woman who has had a section and is so casual about it.

It bothers me.

I can really only talk about my experience on ICAN, and recently, only on the even less mainstream boards such as UBAC. Only they really seem to get it.

It's like, if someone has a good experience, they just cannot fathom how someone else could have had a rotten experience. My friends IRL all had the medicated vaginal births they dreamed of, though one does complain still, 9 years later, of the Nubain she hated...and they can't seem to get it into their heads, and can't keep from saying ridiculous things to me about it, that I LOVED all 96 hours of my labor, HATED the epidural I was talked into getting, and DESPISED the surgical birth (and the continuing physical and mental pain almost 15 months later). They don't get that there was no reason other than MD and midwife idiocy for it, they see a long labor as hell, while I see many reasons for the long labor, and only wished I had fired the midwives on the 4th day, and continued on my own. But they won't even let me get to that part of the story, they've shut down their ears LONG before that point.

I think the biggest thing, that relates to stupid things people say about parenting, is that they can't get that one can be happy the baby is here, on the outside, but absolutely hate the way they arrived. They seem to think that I can't have two (or eight) different emotions about the same thing; they must think I'm awfully stupid!


----------



## janerose

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jadzia*
Back to dumb things people say-- does it bother you when you hear mamas talk about their C-sections like they were no big deal? I still am mourning mine and I feel like such an alien when I talk to another woman who has had a section and is so casual about it. It makes me feel like I am a drama queen or something. And they usually had a C-section for something that sounded like it was for the doctor's benefit, like failure to progress in the labor. My neighbor had a C-section and she couldn't believe that I had gotten up to 10 centimeters and still needed a C-section!

Well, I didn't have a c-section thankfully, but still yes! The wife of one of DH's co-workers was just raving about her planned section at the x-mas party last year. How convenient it was and all that junk. Even worse was how all the other ladies sitting with us (all 4 of us had had kids in the past year) agreed!







: She was the only one with a section, but the other 2 were planned induction/epis. After awhile they asked me why I was being so quiet and I just said something like I didn't feel I had anything to contribute since I'd had a natural birth & delivery. They looked at me like I had two heads.









I've definitly noticed a huge difference in how women who have medicated births vs natural births talk about their experience. What really overwhelms me when mama's talk to me about their medicated (by choice) birth experiences is the fear. It's usually not intentional, but you can tell that they were/are often deathly afraid of the whole process. To me that just reflects a real lack of knowledge about how the birth process works and the role pain plays in it.

Holly


----------



## Bennifer

i totally agree about people saying i should just be happy my ds is ok and be ok with my csection. As if I'm not happy my ds is ok! But I'm still traumatized by my medicated, c-section birth when I planned for a natural birth!

dumb things people say: my friend (who doesn't have any children) told me she thinks she'll just choose a c-section b/c that will be easier.







:

my ob (who i've now changed!) in the OR: "his heart rate looks ok now, but we're going to go ahead and do the section anyway."







If I could take that moment back i would in a heartbeat.

my ob at my 6 week visit, when I was discussing some feelings of PPD (that I had had for one day and she did not ask how long i was feeling this way): "You are going to need to go on Zoloft, quit breastfeeding, and if you can't promise me you'll have someone with you 24/7 I would have to hospitalize you."







I had a bad day!!! Luckily I didn't listen to her scare tactics! I ran into her about a month later after never returning for my exam (didn't really feel like having my check up after all that) and told her I was still bf, wasn't on zoloft, my ds was doing great, and so was I! Bet she felt dumb.







:


----------



## peaceful_mama

This has nothing to do with C-sections....but I gave birth at a hospital with VERY ANTI-BF'ing policies, though I didn't know it until it was too late. DS at 7 hours old still hadn't latched, and one of the pp nurses badgered me into letting her take him and give him a bottle of formula. Throughout my stay I was told horrible things about how my baby would be mentally retarded and go blind, because he was a little jaundiced, if I didn't supplement. I was told to give him up to 2 oz formula at a time, whatever he would take.......it never occured to me this wasn't 'supplementing.' (No WONDER he would then go to sleep for 3-4 hours....)

I brought him home and followed the instructions. I had no idea there was anything I could do other than give him a bottle.

Fast forward 10 days and I had a back-arching, screaming baby every time I so much as lifted my shirt in front of him. He NEVER cried other than this. And the ONLY thing that STUPID LC (they're not ALL stupid, just this one) could say to me was that I should be happy I had a healthy living eating baby, and re-advise me that he probably would've DIED had I not 'supplemented' him.

I just wanted to SCREAM. I *wanted* to tell her I WAS happy about my child, I was (and still AM) MOURNING the fact that I always knew I'd breastfeed, I wanted that relationship with my child. AND I was upset that instead of snuggling and bonding with my newborn, I was spending 30 minutes out of every 2-4 hours day and night hooked to a pump. (Thank GOD for Dr. Sears, when I finally got the baby book out of the library, the part about the hormones that make the mom want to be in constant contact with the newborn......FINALLY *SOMEBODY* who KNEW I did NOT have PPD, I just wanted to spend time with my baby!!!)

I still do mourn the fact we're not nursing. I'm still mad that it's all due to stupid hospital policies, and I'm mad at myself for allowing the induced birth that I think caused the problem in the first place. (It was NOT necessary in the least, it got my baby here before doc went on vacation.) It upsets me that I had to choose between spending time with my baby OR feeding him the best, and ultimately, his need for ME won out. And I wonder if he would have the food intolerances he does now if he had NEVER had infant formula. (Severe dairy intolerance, couldn't take soy formula either.)
The thing is, I'm certain I would've kept it up for a year, minimum. And now I'll never know if we would've gone as long as he wanted, or how long that would've been.....or what difference it would've made to his health.

People tell me I did great pumping for 6 months, they would've quit, etc. Yeah, I did......he got a lot more by pump than many American babies who directly bf get, not to mention the ones who don't even get the chance to bf! But.......it's not about that. It's about the fact that every time I see a baby his age nursing, I wish it was us. I wonder how things would be different if I hadn't spent so much of his first 6 months having to be hooked up to a pump just to be able to feed him....and as long as I was pumping, I could still hope that maybe one day he'd just 'get it.'

anyway I've gone on long enough.........the point is, people are stupid, yeah of COURSE you are happy you have your child. That doesn't mean you can't be UNhappy about something involving them, like the birth experience, or in my case, breastfeeding not going the way you always thought it would. (And really, I have also thought part of the problem lies in a lack of information that there CAN be problems with bf'ing....I took the class, I read, and I thought all I had to do was offer it at birth and he'd do the rest. Everyone who gets info out there does a great job of convincing the world that anyone can breastfeed, and while it's great to get people to try, it does a horrible disservice to people like me. I didn't know he might not do it, and then when I was in that position, I didn't know there was any other option besides bottle-feeding him. If I had, who knows, we might be nursing now....)


----------



## frannyfresh

When I discovered that I was preganat ( it wasn't planned) someone offered to pay for my abortion. I said thank you but I would need time to think about it. My DD was born last November. She is the best thing I have ever done.


----------



## boingo82

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zakers_mama*
This has nothing to do with C-sections....but I gave birth at a hospital with VERY ANTI-BF'ing policies, )










I am so sorry you did not get the BF relationship you wanted. Shame on that hospital.

edit: also wanted to say WAY TO GO for EPing that long! Amazing! I pump only at work and it's so much bother. I admire the women who EP.


----------



## pjlioness

One thing I could never understand is why a friend of mine who had one med. hospital birth in IL, then a homebirth in TX (they were very much in debt and didn't have insurance, so they decided to have a midwife at home) went back to having med. hospital births for her 3rd and 4th kids in IL.







:







: She had absolutely raved to me about her homebirth, that she had so much energy, was up and about the next day,







. I've never asked her why she went back...maybe I will someday.

After having one hospital birth that was more med. than I would have liked, and one homebirth, there is no question I'd do a homebirth again, though I'd want a DE midwife who took a wait and see approach and didn't coach while I was pushing. (I had a 3rd degree tear with ds2, and I suspect it wouldn't have been so bad if the pushing stage ahad been more relaxed.)


----------



## Thursday Girl

one of my sisters and my friend and i were talking. they said they didn't want to nurse b/c there boobs would eb ruined. when i told them that it helps the mother lose weight faster and that formula fed children are more likely to be overweight as adults

THEY CHANGED THEIR MINDS!!(I know that is a good thing but could you be any more superficial??)
edited to add this was after the health benefits for mother and child didn't really convince them.


----------



## paquerette

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Bennifer*
"You are going to need to go on Zoloft, quit breastfeeding, and if you can't promise me you'll have someone with you 24/7 I would have to hospitalize you."

That's ridiculous on so many levels, especially since Zoloft is the safest antidepressant for bf'ing!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pjlioness*
went back to having med. hospital births for her 3rd and 4th kids in IL.

I think there are legal problems in IL. I'm not sure whether midwifery is illegal or alegal. I know there are mw's practicing under the radar but maybe your friend didn't know that.


----------



## peaceful_mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Faithsmom*
Oh yeah... and when she saw my DD in cloth diapers she asked "what, you don't have money for regular diapers??? Do you need money?"








I told her no... and actually I prefer cloth diapers. She still didn't understand.


My dad doesn't 'get it' either...of course it doesn't help that I wasn't 'crunchy' yet when I was pregnant and said in response to "don't use cloth" something along the lines of "Oh, like I ever WOULD" 

I've since been enlightened to the fact that it's not pins and rubber pants anymore LOL

The newest stupid comment was yesterday, DS took off his wet CD and apparently finished the pee on the floor while I was on my way down the hall to see what he was doing. (He's TEN MONTHS OLD lol. He can undo aplix.)
Dad says 'well quit putting those cloth diapers on him! He can't take off the other ones!!'
Never mind the fact that the only time ds takes off the cloth is when it's wet. Or when I used to fold prefolds in there before I got my fitteds, they were uncomfortable.


----------



## peaceful_mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mollyeilis*
Ah, yes, those innocent McD's fries, the ones with lard sprayed on them pre-packaging...

Ugh.









Is this seriously true??? I have never heard this........but if it's true, I'm NEVER eating another mcd fry again!!


----------



## peaceful_mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mummoth*
It's also important to delay the babies bath until after at least a few good nusing sessions. .

another thing going into my birth plan for next (as yet unconceived lol) baby b/c dangit this time bf'ing IS going to happen!!


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## UptownZoo

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zakers_mama*
Everyone who gets info out there does a great job of convincing the world that anyone can breastfeed, and while it's great to get people to try, it does a horrible disservice to people like me. I didn't know he might not do it, and then when I was in that position, I didn't know there was any other option besides bottle-feeding him. If I had, who knows, we might be nursing now....)

Amen, sister! I heard and read everywhere that if you're doing it right, bf'ing never hurts. Well, lemmee tell ya', it does for me. The first week or two, with every baby, my nipples hurt bad, bad, bad. With two of my babies, my nipples actually turned blue because they were bruised! Thankfully, I had my mom there to let me know that it wouldn't last too long, and it didn't. I knew the baby was latched perfectly - lips wide open, everted, tongue forward, but a newborn baby can exert 100 lbs. of pressure per square inch (my midwife told me this; God love her!). My midwives also explained that, when you see skin problems (blisters, bleeding, cracks, etc.), that there's usually a latch problem, but the deep down bruised feeling is just there for some women in the beginning.

I'm with you. We would probably encourage more women to bf if we told the truth, because if we describe it as some rosy happy thing, when in reality it's often quite difficult in the beginning, then people are just stunned and give up.

I always tell people that bf'ing is harder for some women than bottlefeeding in the first 2-3 weeks, but if they can just hang with it through the first little bit, bf'ing becomes exponentially easier.

I'm so sorry you didn't get to nurse your baby.







Kudos to you for giving your baby your milk for such a long time!


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## peaceful_mama

Anyways, I just had to chime in that I *SO* want a girl. SO SO SO want a girl. But I wouldn't change a darn thing about Orion, and I love him for exactly who he is and not one bit less than if he was a girl. But I still want at least one girl!







Its good we're thinking about having 3-4 kids, I've got a few chances left!







Dh said he'd be just fine with 4 boys![/QUOTE]

I want a girl too. I wouldn't change a single thing about DS though!









I got told 'I'd have to take care of a boy too' when I mentioned I thought it might be a girl, with a certain amount of happiness over that. (later closer to US time, I felt more like it might be a boy, and well, he *IS*














)

it just pissed me off though that I would make kind of a generic comment like that and get crap yet my friend's dd preggo at the same time could say things like if she had another boy she'd give it up for adoption and nobody said A WORD........
I never said I DIDN'T want a boy, just that I thought it might be a girl....


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## peaceful_mama

I always tell people that bf'ing is harder for some women than bottlefeeding in the first 2-3 weeks, but if they can just hang with it through the first little bit, bf'ing becomes exponentially easier.

I'm so sorry you didn't get to nurse your baby.







Kudos to you for giving your baby your milk for such a long time![/QUOTE]

Thanks









I think the REAL info needs to be out there. So much that I even found a link on LLL.org and wrote to the powers-that-be telling them of my situation, of the fact that I've met others like me, and that it would be of MAJOR benefit to us if such things as cupfeeding were mentioned at LLL, even if it was in a 'this is what can be done for a preemie born too early to be able to nurse' context. At least THEN we would know SOME other option existed to provide nourishment other than sticking a BOTTLE in their mouth, which in my case ruined bf'ing for us. There's a way to do it in a bf'ing advocating kind of way, without making it seem like it's common to run into a baby like mine who didn't immediately take to nursing. Or ever, thanks to bottles 

Also, I would like to see more info out there on the subject of inductions-by-choice and the effects of that on the baby's ability to bf, as I really think my son's induction was why he didn't immediately nurse. So many possibilities, starting with the fact that a due date is only a guess anyway, and my son COULD have been only 37 weeks at birth--induced at 39 weeks, 4 days by EDD, but they can be off by 2 weeks either way. No, it's not really a huge deal by NICU standards, but I've read that bf'ing instincts are some of the last to develop in-utero, so I think there may have been a difference if I'd just left him alone in there till I went into labor on my own.

Then there's the effects of the drugs, which could have caused his sleepiness, or I've read that pitocin can cause jaundice--and my baby was in a higher-risk group anyway just by race. (another thing I did not know) Jaundice causes sleepiness too, which can make for reluctant nursing, which causes worse jaundice.....

let's just say the next one I'm choosing a midwife (I had an OB) whose response at even as far as 41 weeks would be 'well, let's just monitor closely and see what happens' rather than automatic induction. And NO DRUGS, NONE, not even 'just a little' I did a pitocin birth without an epidural, I can do an entirely natural birth, well, naturally.

(I was thrilled with my birth experience, until I read some of the things about pitocin and the theory with due dates and all, now I have a sort of later-guilt but knowing that all I can do is do it different next time)

I've come a LONG LONG way..........a lot of it is thanks to this site!! (I was so "i'm having an epidural" it's not even funny. The only AP idea I had while I was pregnant was bf'ing......but then, in all fairness, I had no AP friends till I discovered LLL. My no-CIO co-sleeping started just by trying to feel like I spent SOME time snuggling my baby with all that stupid pumping.....now at 10 months it continues because we BOTH love it!







)

anyway


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## Shenjall

I was told by my mother that having my dd was "a waste". Why you ask? Because I wouldnt let my mother dress my newborn dd in the most scratchy uncomfortable looking frilly poofs of crap.

Yes, b/c I had a child to play dress up with. I didnt feel like buying a barbie.


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## Annie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shenjall*
I was told by my mother that having my dd was "a waste". Why you ask? Because I wouldnt let my mother dress my newborn dd in the most scratchy uncomfortable looking frilly poofs of crap.

Yes, b/c I had a child to play dress up with. I didnt feel like buying a barbie.









IMHO that's just horrible to call a child 'a waste'! I'm a little sensitive about that sort of thing from mothers. My mother recently told me it's selfish of me to want to have my own child instead of adopting my sister's child, who wasnt even up for adoption at that point and she knew that! I guess since my sister is a single mom and me and dh need assisted reproduction technology to get pregnant (most likely just cheap clomid for my low progesterone) taht therefor my sister's baby is supposed to be my baby. what?? yeah i'm going to kidnap him from his bio dad who would *never* sign the adoption form, spend years and tons of $$ on a losing battle, instead of spending our resources on the ART, whatever. I'm no longer talking to her.

sorry this became my rant, it just hit a cord hearing that aabout a child from her/his grandother.


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## Charles Baudelaire

Oh, I would SOOOOO speak to the manager about this.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nepenthesea*
I don't have children yet, so this didn't happen with my children, but it was still VERY irritating. I was reminded of this when I read somebody's previous post about their 4 year old, and how he had never drank soda, and would probably be the only one in school who hadn't.

Back in April, I was visiting my family. I have a 6 y/o niece and 4 y/o nephew. My dad took my sister, niece and nephew out for food, and it was fast food. I have to say that I am a Dr. Pepper fanatic (or was before I got pg, anyway), but I was trying to cut down, and just didn't want one that evening. So we stood in line and gave our orders, and my sister ordered water for the kids. The woman at the counter was like, "That's it? Just water?" DS said yes, and she looks at the kids and says "We have milk, juice and soda if you'd rather have that", which I thought was really out of line. My sister said, no, give them water. Then my sister ordered water for herself, and my dad ordered water (he's a borderline diabetic). The woman kept making a big deal about how we all wanted water. Then I gave my order, and she was like, "Let me guess- you want water, right? Must be a family thing." She was very sarcastic about it.

I normally don't let things like that bother me, but I was so annoyed. Especially when she tried to "help the kids out" by telling them what else they had. Maybe she was annoyed that water is free, so they weren't going to make like $5 off sodas. I guess you should expect that sort of thing from a fast food place. I was just surprised, when even McD's has water and all that these days. I mean, it's WATER...who cares?

I'm sure I'll have alot more to add now that I'm pg. My family is very mainstream, but most of them are cool about this. But I live in such a conservative area, that I'm sure I'll be hearing all kinds of "good advice".


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## Charles Baudelaire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zakers_mama*
Is this seriously true??? I have never heard this........but if it's true, I'm NEVER eating another mcd fry again!!

Good, don't. There's a reason why. Read Schlosser's _Fast Food Nation_, esp. the chapter "Why the Fries Taste So Good."

Two words: beef tallow.


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## mollyeilis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zakers_mama*
I think the REAL info needs to be out there. So much that I even found a link on LLL.org and wrote to the powers-that-be telling them of my situation, of the fact that I've met others like me, and that it would be of MAJOR benefit to us if such things as cupfeeding were mentioned at LLL, even if it was in a 'this is what can be done for a preemie born too early to be able to nurse' context. At least THEN we would know SOME other option existed to provide nourishment other than sticking a BOTTLE in their mouth, which in my case ruined bf'ing for us. There's a way to do it in a bf'ing advocating kind of way, without making it seem like it's common to run into a baby like mine who didn't immediately take to nursing. Or ever, thanks to bottles 

Oh gracious...when you went to a LLL meeting, you asked the leader and she didn't have the info for you? There's a lot of info on premature babies and problems in sucking on LLL's website. But the leader didn't tell you about it? That's so sad!

Lest you think I'm a LLL junkie, I actually STOPPED going to the meetings b/c the women there didn't talk all that much about actual breastfeeding problems. Since my own mom's longest friends (after babies, that is) were from LLL, I should have known it could be like a big party, but I guess I didn't think about it. One had to wait until the end, then corner the leader and hope she knew the answer to your questions. Since I didn't like the leader all that much, and it was the only meeting time in my area that worked for me, I stayed home and looked on the website.









Anyway, if you're interested in the info they have, I went to lalecheleague.org and typed "premature" into the search box (at the bottom of the page) and saw all the links to book recommendations and articles.

I'm just so sorry that no one had this info for you. I don't think they mention things like this at every meeting, because they have a set thing to discuss (like Weight Watchers meetings have a set plan for each meeting), but if you have extra questions you have to corner the leader. They should make *that* well known, b/c in the early days, I know doing so seems much more complicated than it is!

Oh, and my now-passed-away mom who was nearly a LLL leader, would tell you to CALL the people in your local area. They are listed b/c they are supposed to be resources, and if they aren't helping, well, *that* should definitely be reported.


----------



## mollyeilis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zakers_mama*
Is this seriously true??? I have never heard this........but if it's true, I'm NEVER eating another mcd fry again!!

Oh yes, it's true. If memory serves, it was a group of people of the Hindu religion that got that out in the open (with a lawsuit). What I thought is amazing is that I once asked the employees about the oil in which they were cooked, and they went on about how it was vegetable oil so therefore vegetarian. Of course a low-level employee wouldn't know about the processing, but still...you'd think in this day of nutritional labels, corporate would have let them know *before* a lawsuit.

By the way, I don't know if this was positively resolved, but the same lawyer for the Hindu group (I believe he is of the same religion) brought a suit against Pizza Hut, as their red sauce has beef flavoring in it. PH's dissapointing early response? "We say it's a veggie lover's pizza, not a *vegetarian* pizza"...

Like I said, don't know if PH changed their recipe in response, but that's what was going on about a year or two ago with PH.


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## Amaryllis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mollyeilis*
By the way, I don't know if this was positively resolved, but the same lawyer for the Hindu group (I believe he is of the same religion) brought a suit against Pizza Hut, as their red sauce has beef flavoring in it. PH's dissapointing early response? "We say it's a veggie lover's pizza, not a *vegetarian* pizza"...

Like I said, don't know if PH changed their recipe in response, but that's what was going on about a year or two ago with PH.

Also, the cheese was involved in the Pizza Hut suit, because it had/has rennet in it, which is NOT vegetarian, although many vegetarians don't pay attention to this, people who have a religious/spiritual reason to be vegetarian tend to be more cautious with cheese. I think the guy was able to win the suit because he had been told it was a vegetarian pizza.

I was in Taiwan and was walking by a Macdonalds, and they were receiving a delivery of boxes of food, all clearly labled "Made in the USA" with the ingredients in really LARGE BOLD letters on the side. This is where I saw that the fries have beef fat in them! I know so many vegetarians who refuse to believe this... McD's has in the past not been forthcoming with the ingredients, but I think they have to now.


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## Einhorn

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mollyeilis*

Lest you think I'm a LLL junkie, I actually STOPPED going to the meetings b/c the women there didn't talk all that much about actual breastfeeding problems. Since my own mom's longest friends (after babies, that is) were from LLL, I should have known it could be like a big party, but I guess I didn't think about it. One had to wait until the end, then corner the leader and hope she knew the answer to your questions. Since I didn't like the leader all that much, and it was the only meeting time in my area that worked for me, I stayed home and looked on the website.









This is definately a group specific thing, so YMMV. at the local meetings here, after doing intros and housekeeping things (like where to find the restroom) the first thing they do is take questions. they don't have to be BFing questions, but many/most are. Then they move on to the meeting topic, and wait until the formal meeting is closed before the visiting starts (which can then last a long time). Our leaders routinely tell people about cup feeding and other options besides bottles, and have offered to help get them feeding cups.

I'm so sorry your local LLL groups weren't as useful to you as mine seems to be. That's probably why some folks push LLL so hard -- in my area, it's the best place to get good help, and it's pretty much the only place to go to see other moms nursing their babes for that "I'm not alone" feeling a new mom often needs. There's a local free breastfeeding clinic, but in June when they got overwhelmed, they started handing out breast shields with no instruction to everyone who came in (or so I heard from people that got given them), where as the LLL leaders were busy making home visits to help all the new mom's that knew to call them.

Obligitory dumb thing someone said to me:
my sister, without meaning to be hurtful, "you still have time to get a crib incase you change your mind" regarding our plans to cosleep. on the plus side, once DS#1 came home, DH (who wasn't initially sure if cosleeping was going to be okay but was willing to try it) couldn't imagine having the baby anywhere else but right beside us so we could keep an eye on him and cuddle him (and feed him without having to fetch him).


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## pjlioness

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pjlioness*
I think there are legal problems in IL. I'm not sure whether midwifery is illegal or alegal. I know there are mw's practicing under the radar but maybe your friend didn't know that.

DE midwives are alegal in IL. CNM's can do home birth, as long as their consulting OB's approve the mom. I doubt she/they even looked (very hard, if at all) for either though, as they are _very_ mainstream. Their life in TX was a total departure for them. They were totally broke and went to live with his mom and step-dad for a few years so they could get out of debt and he could get a degree.

She doesn't talk much about her hospital births except to rave about epidurals. However, if she knows how great a homebirth is and that she _can_ do it, why wouldn't she pursue it again? It just doesn't make sense to me.


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## retromama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zakers_mama*
People tell me I did great pumping for 6 months, they would've quit, etc. Yeah, I did......he got a lot more by pump than many American babies who directly bf get, not to mention the ones who don't even get the chance to bf! But.......it's not about that.









Absolutely. I EP'ed to 7 months and decided at that point that my time & attention was going to benefit her more than the EBM (not to mention the domperidone was giving me massive headaches.) And I am amazed I did it that long, and happy that she got BM for the crucial 6 months. But no-one seems to get why I wish I was still doing it, or had been able to BF in the first place.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zakers_mama*
And I wonder if he would have the food intolerances he does now if he had NEVER had infant formula. (Severe dairy intolerance, couldn't thke soy formula either.)

You never know, but you shouldn't beat yourself up about that. I had to supplement for the first few weeks until pumping built my supply up really well, and I was worried about DD not getting 100% BM during those crucial weeks. But, she hasn't been sick a day, while her two cousins the same age, both 100% BF, have been sick enough to be hospitalized, and one has serious allergies apparently now. (I felt like I dodged a bullet!)


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## AEZMama

I think my favorite thing is when we're out and DS is crying, people ask "Is he upset?"

When visiting family recently, DS had a bout with some bad gas attacks and would cry because of the pains. Eventually it loosened up and you could hear him tooting from other rooms. My mom came in and told me, "I think he may have gas."









You gotta love it!


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## paquerette

So are the McD's fries beef or pork? Lard = pork, tallow = beef. Different concerns for different religions.


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## the_lissa

They are beef tallow.


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## jayayenay

.


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## Kundalini-Mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AmyD*
thanks ladies, SO funny!

when i was pregnant and at my baby shower, my best friend's mom was talking to my hubby (it was a co-ed shower). she was telling dh that even though the u/s said we were having a boy, the penis might go inside, and we could have a girl!!







my hubby being polite, was like, "oh really, very interesting"


From my first post on the thread. The woman in question was also a teacher









Amy


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## peaceful_mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mollyeilis*
Oh gracious...when you went to a LLL meeting, you asked the leader and she didn't have the info for you? There's a lot of info on premature babies and problems in sucking on LLL's website. But the leader didn't tell you about it? That's so sad!

Anyway, if you're interested in the info they have, I went to lalecheleague.org and typed "premature" into the search box (at the bottom of the page) and saw all the links to book recommendations and articles.

I'm just so sorry that no one had this info for you. I don't think they mention things like this at every meeting, because they have a set thing to discuss (like Weight Watchers meetings have a set plan for each meeting), but if you have extra questions you have to corner the leader. They should make *that* well known, b/c in the early days, I know doing so seems much more complicated than it is! Oh, and my now-passed-away mom who was nearly a LLL leader, would tell you to CALL the people in your local area. They are listed b/c they are supposed to be resources, and if they aren't helping, well, *that* should definitely be reported.


Here's my LLL experience. When my son was I believe exactly one week old, the LLL leader here in town called me in response to an email I sent. Our local group actually is NOT on the international site, I don't know why, but I got the local leader's email by emailing leaders nearby who *were* listed. Her advice to me? "Stop pumping and nurse the baby."

This was AFTER I explained that I could no longer so much as lift my SHIRT in front of this child without causing him to scream!! She'd never actually SEEN either of us.

Thank GOD I didn't take that bit of advice!! If I had, I wouldn't have even had any milk to give him!! As if I had not already tried that. I don't know, maybe that's great advice for a seven HOUR old baby who still has nutrients that came via mama before birth, but at seven DAYS??

By then, I had heard the word 'cupfeeding' but had no CLUE how I was supposed to go about it. I don't know WHY I never thought of asking my pedi for a larger syringe too........I just did NOT think clearly in those days.

Am I wrong to think that a LLL leader should be um, maybe just SLIGHTLY more informed on what to tell someone in that situation?? I mean, what if I'd actually TAKEN that advice? Thank God that by day 7, I'd gained a tiny bit more sense than day 1 when I allowed the nurse to give the bottle in the first place........which I knew was *bad* but well, I was in the hospital, and I had this irrational 7-hour-postpartum thought that maybe they could take him away from me if I didn't do what they said, which seems *really stupid* now, they honestly couldn't take him away for that any more than they could if say, they thought I should circ him and I said no, or they thought he should have a Hep B shot and I said no. (about a week ago, one of my friends kindly pointed out she's a SOCIAL WORKER for that hospital, all I would've had to do was CALL HER.....somehow that never occured to me at 5 AM on a Saturday morning...and I'm sure somehow she wouldn't have appreciated it at that hour....)

(and yes, typically 'nurse the baby' is a better answer than pumping, but not if it means the baby will STARVE because he hasn't figured out HOW yet....)

anyway that's my LLL experience, but I am very happy that I decided to attend a meeting anyway, even with bottle in tow, and I stick around even though I've quit.............hoping that someday, the next time there's someone in my situation........they'll know who to call. BTDT.


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## Robin926

Ohhh I got a new one to add. A co-worker of DH's thinks that we're completely loony for all the decisions we've made. He refuses to believe there was ever mercury in vaccines, thinks circumcisions are for the boy's protection, and that I'm insane for a natural birth because everyone knows epidurals aren't bad for you.







:

Apparently they were talking, and he asked DH what I was going back to school for. DH told him I'm getting my nursing degree so I can go to school and be a midwife. So guy asks a bunch of questions about what midwives do and why in the world I would choose that. DH explains about midwifery and natural childbirth and how it's better for mom and baby. The conversation ended as follows:

Guy: So basically a midwife can do everything a doctor can, except perform a c-section.
DH: Well, I guess you could look at it that way. But there's a LOT more to it than that.
Guy: Hmm.. sounds like a midwife is just SECOND RATE to a doctor? Why would you want a midwife, when you could just get a doctor and have it all?


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## peaceful_mama

So....Cybele.......it wouldn't be against some kind of LLL policy for me to, say, bring my cupfeeding cup and my baby-feeding syringe and talk about these things at an LLL meeting? Or to jot down next to my name on the little number list that I would be willing to help anybody who is where I was?
I'm not a leader, and apparently unless I manage to successfully bf another child sometime in the future, I never can be. (I think that's dumb in a way, but I do see the point in another way.)

I can tell you it doesn't get talked about in our group. Nothing against our current leader, but her nurslings are adults with nurslings of their own and when it came to my situation, well, she's not up to date on how to help. And after being online, I was HOPING for the person who would come to my house and fix everything! A tall order, maybe...but well, I was still looking for the magic bullet at 7 days. (and 7 weeks....that was when he decided to nurse three times in a row one day, even once without the shield--OK so he was mostly comfort-sucking, but he was THERE and SUCKING.... and then the 4th time, it was like those other 3 times never happened......and that was the last time I got him to do it.)

I had NOTHING that prepared me for this. The ONLY time I had heard of someone trying to bf and it not working was a teacher at work with a preemie. I figured I was having a full-term baby, so well, that couldn't happen to ME. I didn't know an SNS EXISTED, much less to ask for one at the hospital. (It was never offered, and it's the only thing that hospital uses other than a bottle.) My ped told me 'finger feed him', then left, figuring the nurses would show me how. That's when I was informed they don't teach parents any 'alternative feeding methods' at that hospital. When I first heard of 'cupfeeding', I had a mental picture of trying to get my 3 day old to drink out of a sippy....wasn't till 10 days I got someone to show me HOW........by then, we already had full-blown breast-rejecting nipple confusion and I just could NOT do it all ALONE anymore, the attempt to nurse, the supplement, the pumping.......and start all over again 20 minutes later. I HAD to allow someone else to feed so that I could do the pumping, and in my situation, that meant bottles.

If I'd KNOWN, we probably could have avoided the whole thing by NOT giving him another nipple in the first place!! which I do think is a very LLL kind of thing...........but you sure don't hear it mentioned where i live...


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## mollyeilis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zakers_mama*
I don't know WHY I never thought of asking my pedi for a larger syringe too........I just did NOT think clearly in those days.

....day 1 when I allowed the nurse to give the bottle in the first place........which I knew was *bad* but well, I was in the hospital, and I had this irrational 7-hour-postpartum thought that maybe they could take him away from me if I didn't do what they said, which seems *really stupid* now, they honestly couldn't take him away for that any more than they could if say, they thought I should circ him and I said no, or they thought he should have a Hep B shot and I said no.

Am I wrong to think that a LLL leader should be um, maybe just SLIGHTLY more informed on what to tell someone in that situation??


Hey, things are REALLY confused after a baby arrives. Your mind is taken up by so much! So of course you weren't thinking to ask all those things.

In regards to thinking they could take the baby, IME some hospital personnel are REALLY good at telling parents or simply hinting that they can do things like that. Heck, they are really good at telling people all sorts of untrue things *before* the baby arrives (they sure did in my case!), so after the baby is there is no problem. Please don't blame yourself (I say, knowing how much I blame my own self for things), my stepmom is a NICU nurse and I've heard the absolute nonsensical junk that comes out of her mouth, they are very very good at confusing matters and scaring new parents.

I hope that came out right, not horribly slamming on *all* personnel, but knowing that there are *some* who do not do the right thing, and trying to reassure you that it's really hard for new parents to think clearly, and it's too bad the staff couldn't have actually *helped* you.

As for a LLL leader, yeah, she should have known more. She should have called you, she should have come to visit you. She should have done much more. I hope she knows that now and I hope she'll do better in the future.


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## peaceful_mama

Thanks







My friends who don't have children (including the hospital social worker) don't get that. A couple weeks ago, my friend who has a newborn was there with all of us too (it's a weekly bellydance group, just a bunch of friends one of whom happens to know how to dance, the rest of us just want to LOL) and well, the topic came up. That's when the social worker friend pointed out her job, LOL, and the rest of them all said they would've told that woman to get the *ell out of their hospital room, but as it's me, they understood I'm a little nicer than they would've been. (even the one who just had the baby said she would've....but then, I'm 99.9% positive HER husband wouldn't have been sound asleep and would've done something as well.)

I think someday when they have children, they'll understand that at 7 hours pp, especially considering it was FIVE AM..............you just do NOT think like you might on any other day, even at 5 AM. Especially when, even if you KNOW you're going a little extreme thinking she could call CPS, she's also got you convinced that your child's going to STARVE TO DEATH if he doesn't eat IMMEDIATELY...........and that by feeding him 'just a bit' of formula, he'll then have 'energy to breastfeed.'

her words not mine. Does that qualify as coming back around to the 'stupid comments' topic??


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## nepenthesea

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mollyeilis*
By the way, I don't know if this was positively resolved, but the same lawyer for the Hindu group (I believe he is of the same religion) brought a suit against Pizza Hut, as their red sauce has beef flavoring in it. PH's dissapointing early response? "We say it's a veggie lover's pizza, not a *vegetarian* pizza"...

I worked at a Pizza Hut for five years, unfortunately, and one time an Indian man came in. I was cutting the pizzas as they came out of the oven, and the man asked me to clean my cutter before I cut his vegetarian pizza. They tend to get really greasy from all the pepperoni and stuff. I used to be a vegetarian, so I was like, sure, and cleaned it off really well, and made sure he saw that it was clean. A guy I worked with asked me why he would want the cutter clean, so I explained to him, and he said, "well, I wouldn't have cleaned it off, just to mess with him." And I said, "Well, you're an @$$hole, and I'm not!" So, watch them, if you have a request like that.

It's funny how few things are truly vegetarian, like french fries and pizza sauce. Of course, in this country, people think fish and chicken are vegetarian!


----------



## peaceful_mama

Tonight my childless friends said 'baaa' does NOT count as an actual word. *I* think it does, it's the beginning sound of 'banana', he said it when he saw the banana, he stopped saying it when I gave him banana pieces, he said it again when he ran out of banana.............you get the idea.

It's a vocalization that approximates the sounds I make related to his favorite food, and he uses it in context. (including repetition with increased volume when the requested banana bits don't show up on his tray fast enough!)

He's TEN MONTHS OLD what more do you WANT? Apparently, I'm not supposed to act like he's talking until he manages perfect multi-syllable pronunciation?? Which will be WHEN exactly, if I ignore any other attempt at communication???


----------



## Thursday Girl

that's a word.

I think people without children should just shut up.
that was harsh but they can be so annoying.
I have definetley had my share of stupid comments form not only presently childless people but people who NEVER want children.

although the old school grandma's can be bad, and the mainstream parents.
I had the computer guy at my work tell me how he trains his children. How he set them near the stairs so they would climb them and he could "teach" them not to. Yeah with a piece of leather because i quote "it doesn't break the capillaries like your hand would"


----------



## janerose

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zakers_mama*
Tonight my childless friends said 'baaa' does NOT count as an actual word. *I* think it does, it's the beginning sound of 'banana', he said it when he saw the banana, he stopped saying it when I gave him banana pieces, he said it again when he ran out of banana.............you get the idea.

It's a vocalization that approximates the sounds I make related to his favorite food, and he uses it in context. (including repetition with increased volume when the requested banana bits don't show up on his tray fast enough!)

He's TEN MONTHS OLD what more do you WANT? Apparently, I'm not supposed to act like he's talking until he manages perfect multi-syllable pronunciation?? Which will be WHEN exactly, if I ignore any other attempt at communication???

That's definitly a word! Your friend obviously has NO experience with young children. DD has several words she say mum, da, ba, ca (or key ca) for cat. It's really sad that people think kids don't communicate until they're speaking clearly.


----------



## shelley4

i agree, if he's using it to identify a particular thing (banana), repeatedly, then it's a freakin word!!


----------



## Robin926

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jewelysmommy*
that's a word.

I think people without children should just shut up.
that was harsh but they can be so annoying.
I have definetley had my share of stupid comments form not only presently childless people but people who NEVER want children.

although the old school grandma's can be bad, and the mainstream parents.
I had the computer guy at my work tell me how he trains his children. How he set them near the stairs so they would climb them and he could "teach" them not to. Yeah with a piece of leather because i quote "it doesn't break the capillaries like your hand would"
















That sounds a lot like the Pearls. Those poor kids.


----------



## Amaryllis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jewelysmommy*
I had the computer guy at my work tell me how he trains his children. How he set them near the stairs so they would climb them and he could "teach" them not to. Yeah with a piece of leather because i quote "it doesn't break the capillaries like your hand would"

ummmmmm.........
Isn't that child abuse???


----------



## pjlioness

Well, in some/most/all of the states(?) in the US, unless there are marks, it's not _legally_ considered child abuse.


----------



## peaceful_mama

Yes and I would've called CPS on the guy. Those POOR POOR babies!!


----------



## dancindoula

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ell-Bell*
Well, I don't have a baby yet (TTC #1) but I got so sick of family members asking DH and I when we were going to have a baby that last Christmas DH and I decided our reply to everyone would be "Well, between the crack and the swinging, now just really isn't a good time for us..." :LOL

I can totally relate. Most of the time I just shrug it off and say something to the effect of "when the time is right." But if I'm feeling cranky (like when I've just got my period







) I'm likely to say "actually, I'm ovulating right now so dh and I were just heading to the other room for a quickie. Wanna watch?" Strangely, no one has taken me up on my offer.


----------



## dnr3301

Quote:


Originally Posted by *janerose*
That's definitly a word! Your friend obviously has NO experience with young children. DD has several words she say mum, da, ba, ca (or key ca) for cat. It's really sad that people think kids don't communicate until they're speaking clearly.









OOOOOHHHHHH! This just reminded me of the time MIL literally ignored dd as she wailed her version of "Grandma" at her. MIL knew shew as trying to get her attention, but later told me that if she didn't answer to it, dd would learn that's not the correct pronounciation and self correct. She went on making fun of a few of her other words too. Dd was older, maybe almost 2?, and speaking really well, she just had a few sounds which were harder for her to master. Grrrr.


----------



## Lousli

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dnr3301*
OOOOOHHHHHH! This just reminded me of the time MIL literally ignored dd as she wailed her version of "Grandma" at her. MIL knew shew as trying to get her attention, but later told me that if she didn't answer to it, dd would learn that's not the correct pronounciation and self correct. She went on making fun of a few of her other words too. Dd was older, maybe almost 2?, and speaking really well, she just had a few sounds which were harder for her to master. Grrrr.

I hear you. My dd, almost 4, has an impressive vocabulary for a child her age and can communicate her thoughts and feelings remarkably well. But she has trouble pronouncing "L" and "TH" words. My mom will literally say to her over and over again, "pLay? You want to PLLLLay?" while my daughter looks at her as if to say, "Yes, grandma you nubskull, I just *said* that!" Of course Mel doesn't understand that my mom is trying to correct her pronunciation.


----------



## Shenjall

heres a sad one.

In a line up at the grocery store, behind me was a wee boy about 2-3. Verbal, but not completely. He was with 2 adults who kept talking over him. He was talking to them, trying to get their attention. So, he hits one. So the woman grabs his hand and starts screaming into his face, "WHAT DO YOU SAY? WHAT DO YOU SAY TO AUNTIE?! WHAT DO YOU SAY?" So, he looks completely shocked, as in, what did I do wrong? What do I say? So he starts to cry. (poor little man, I'm still mad at myself for not defending him) anyway, she keeps yelling the "what do you say" to his face and then tells him. "Forget it. If you wont say it, you're going home to bed. No dinner. No movie. Nothing." Even more tears. "WELL TELL AUNTIE YOURE SORRY THEN!!" Then he meekly looks up and says, "I'm soory?"

He didnt look like he even knew what "sorry" meant. He had no idea what he was supposed to say. Imagine that, someone screaming at you to say something when you dont know what it is youre supposed to say! Just because you were bored and wanted someone to talk to you!

I just wanted to add, his hit was a typical, tired-little-man-show-me-love hit. Not that hitting is okay, it was just understandable where he was coming from.


----------



## Charles Baudelaire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AmyD*
when i was pregnant and at my baby shower, my best friend's mom was talking to my hubby (it was a co-ed shower). she was telling dh that even though the u/s said we were having a boy, the penis might go inside, and we could have a girl!! my hubby being polite, was like, "oh really, very interesting"

Amy

Just tell her that the only time the penis goes inside the body is when the baby's being MADE.


----------



## peaceful_mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lousli*
I hear you. My dd, almost 4, has an impressive vocabulary for a child her age and can communicate her thoughts and feelings remarkably well. But she has trouble pronouncing "L" and "TH" words. My mom will literally say to her over and over again, "pLay? You want to PLLLLay?" while my daughter looks at her as if to say, "Yes, grandma you nubskull, I just *said* that!" Of course Mel doesn't understand that my mom is trying to correct her pronunciation.









sad.........actually, and I work with preschoolers in a program for kids with dev. delays (anything from receiving a speech therapy session 1-2 times a week to kids with multiple disabilities...) and what we're told to do is simply say the word correctly in a response back to them and/or expand on what they say.

Like maybe a child says 'go out pway' I might say 'yes, it's time, let's go out and play!' or 'after snacktime, we'll go outside and play' Or 'What would you like to play outside?' (even better, now they've got to answer)

The whole point is that they hear 'proper' speech, which is how they learn, and that they be *encouraged* to speak rather than shamed for their attempts. Tell her the more she points it out and tries to correct it, all she's doing is making her self-concious of her (probably NORMAL for her age!) mispronunciations, which could make her avoid talking--at least to Grandma...and possibly anybody else 'new' who might 'make fun of her.' (seen it happen) And then you've got a REAL problem.......a 4 yr old still learning to pronounce 'L'......not a problem. Child frustrated with Grandma pretending not to understand her? Big problem.


----------



## peaceful_mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shenjall*
heres a sad one.

In a line up at the grocery store, behind me was a wee boy about 2-3. Verbal, but not completely. He was with 2 adults who kept talking over him. He was talking to them, trying to get their attention. So, he hits one. So the woman grabs his hand and starts screaming into his face, "WHAT DO YOU SAY? WHAT DO YOU SAY TO AUNTIE?! WHAT DO YOU SAY?" So, he looks completely shocked, as in, what did I do wrong? What do I say? So he starts to cry. (poor little man, I'm still mad at myself for not defending him) anyway, she keeps yelling the "what do you say" to his face and then tells him. "Forget it. If you wont say it, you're going home to bed. No dinner. No movie. Nothing." Even more tears. "WELL TELL AUNTIE YOURE SORRY THEN!!" Then he meekly looks up and says, "I'm soory?"

He didnt look like he even knew what "sorry" meant. He had no idea what he was supposed to say. Imagine that, someone screaming at you to say something when you dont know what it is youre supposed to say! Just because you were bored and wanted someone to talk to you!

I just wanted to add, his hit was a typical, tired-little-man-show-me-love hit. Not that hitting is okay, it was just understandable where he was coming from.


How sad





















just goes to show WHY they have to actually SAY in our classes every year (I work at the public school preschool) "look at the factors around the child's behavior" (kid may want attention, may be tired/hungry, angry/frustrated and not know how else to express it) which always seemed OBVIOUS to me....

WHY oh why can't people pay a little more attention to their kids? Just a LITTLE??


----------



## mollyeilis

Originally Posted by AmyD
"when i was pregnant and at my baby shower, my best friend's mom was talking to my hubby (it was a co-ed shower). she was telling dh that even though the u/s said we were having a boy, the penis might go inside, and we could have a girl!! my hubby being polite, was like, "oh really, very interesting""

When I read this, I wondered where she got this idea. And I wondered if it went back to some US tech or some doctor who swore her (or a friend's or relative's) baby was a boy, but then the baby wasn't b/c someone misread it or whatever. And that the OB/tech simply refused to admit he/she was wrong? I mean, where else would that idea come from?


----------



## Robin926

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mollyeilis*
Originally Posted by AmyD
"when i was pregnant and at my baby shower, my best friend's mom was talking to my hubby (it was a co-ed shower). she was telling dh that even though the u/s said we were having a boy, the penis might go inside, and we could have a girl!! my hubby being polite, was like, "oh really, very interesting""

When I read this, I wondered where she got this idea. And I wondered if it went back to some US tech or some doctor who swore her (or a friend's or relative's) baby was a boy, but then the baby wasn't b/c someone misread it or whatever. And that the OB/tech simply refused to admit he/she was wrong? I mean, where else would that idea come from?

This is a little







because it's not a horrible or dumb statement... but when I was about 6 months pregnant with DS, I was talking to a woman at work whose twin 17 y/o daughters had just started working with me. (I worked at the commissary on a Marine Corps base, and her daughters were cashiers too). We were talking about my pregnancy, and I said that we were pretty sure that DS was going to be a boy. It was erm.. pretty clear on the u/s. She chuckled and told me not to start buying too much blue, because those were her twin SONS out there working on the register. :LOL The u/s tech had sworn to her that both of those babies were going to be boys... and they were quite obviously wrong!


----------



## ian'smommaya

that is a very antiquated idea that comes from the late 1700's and early 1800's. the idea itself comes from the idea of adam's rib and women coming from men, not being humans in there own right. alot of dr. thought that in the 1800's. some people still have crazy ideas about how to get a boy instead of a girl or vice versa...

maya


----------



## sarajane

We were told by my husband's uncle after he had offered some leftover newborn sposies to us that his daughter's baby girl hadn't used "Well, if someone gives them to you you should take them, they are free!" And when we said money wasn't the only reason he said "Let me tell you what would be wise, use disposables when you are out so you don't have to carry the dirty ones." When we said no again, that we wanted to use only cloth he looked kinda annoyed and said pointing to his teen daughter "We used them on her and she isn't dead!"









We co-sleep too and my mother almost every time I see her is asking me "Has she slept in her crib at all (the one I use as a changing table, lol). I tell her no and she always either frowns or has a sad look or tells me "She needs to learn to sleep in her own bed, she will never sleep alone if you let her sleep with you all the time." blah blah, tired of hearing it really. My dad tells me she will never get on a schedule like that and that I will sleep better with her in a crib. Ha, I would NEVER be able to fall asleep with her sleeping alone!


----------



## sweetpea333

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mollyeilis*
Originally Posted by AmyD
"when i was pregnant and at my baby shower, my best friend's mom was talking to my hubby (it was a co-ed shower). she was telling dh that even though the u/s said we were having a boy, the penis might go inside, and we could have a girl!! my hubby being polite, was like, "oh really, very interesting""

When I read this, I wondered where she got this idea. And I wondered if it went back to some US tech or some doctor who swore her (or a friend's or relative's) baby was a boy, but then the baby wasn't b/c someone misread it or whatever. And that the OB/tech simply refused to admit he/she was wrong? I mean, where else would that idea come from?


it does happen all the time when the u/s technician makes a mistake, my friends dad whom is a doctor told me not to believe what they say because they are wrong all the time.


----------



## Charles Baudelaire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sarajane*
We co-sleep too and my mother almost every time I see her is asking me "Has she slept in her crib at all (the one I use as a changing table, lol). I tell her no and she always either frowns or has a sad look or tells me "She needs to learn to sleep in her own bed, she will never sleep alone if you let her sleep with you all the time." blah blah, tired of hearing it really. My dad tells me she will never get on a schedule like that and that I will sleep better with her in a crib. Ha, I would NEVER be able to fall asleep with her sleeping alone!

If this makes you feel better, we coslept with our dd from day one and only recently she asked for her own bed (she's 4.5 now). We got her a little futon and put it at the foot of ours, still in our room. She has her own space, but not so much of it that she feels cut off. She decided that on her own, when it was right for her.


----------



## indiana ima

my 5 and a half year old son has had his own room for about a year. he absolutely loved getting his own room. i think it's pretty old hat now, though. :LOL


----------



## bremen

i have been reading this thread for nearly a week! finally read every post, and now i am too tired to add anything!


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## peaceful_mama

My dad today. (well, my dad the last 10 months, but that's another whole story)

A bit of background, I am in the process of working out things in my marriage, DS and I have lived with my parents all of DS's life, which is changing at the end of this month, DH and I are moving back in together into a new place. And not a moment too soon.

DS is a typical 10 mo old, he hates getting dressed. So I'm trying EVERYTHING to get DS to just lay still for 2 seconds so I can get his pants on him and DH, he, and I can leave.
My dad had put his pants on this morning before the b-day party DS and I went to, (the ONE time he's put an article of clothing on my son in recent--mobile child--memory) and it apparently went OK *that time* so he tells me "I don't have half that trouble putting pants on him..."

all right just shut up, if you can do this SO MUCH BETTER, here you go, have at it.......is what I WANTED to say. That one comment by itself, fine, whatever, it's stupid but not really that bad. it's not THAT comment. It's that on top of 6 months of hearing about how I did NOTHING for my child because I pumped for him and by necessity when you pump, others help with the baby.
I didn't LIKE the situation! I didn't WANT it that way! I would've given ANYTHING to have him just NURSE so I wouldn't EVER *HAVE TO* hand him over to anyone else.

I had enough of a guilt complex already between working and pumping feeling like I didn't ever get to actually spend time with my child, I just did NOT need to continually hear *that.*

back to the original comment, one, that's the ONE time he's ever done it, and 2, DS is less resistant sometimes, more resistant other times.....usually in the mornings he pretty much will lay there and you can do what you need to. Later in the day...........activity central!!! It's NORMAL.

Why do grandparents feel such a need to berate their children's parenting though??


----------



## retromama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zakers_mama*
Am I wrong to think that a LLL leader should be um, maybe just SLIGHTLY more informed on what to tell someone in that situation??

From the (anecdotal) experience in the EPing support group I belonged to (at ivillage, not the yahoo one) a LOT of moms having trouble have gotten bad/no advice from their local LLL chapter. LLL chapters also tend to be entirely non-supportive of EPers/supplementers (although I'm sure there are good chapters out there too!). Same with LCs, unfortunately. My favorite? An EPer was told she couldn't say she "breastfed", that she was a "human milk bottle feeder". Way to be supportive, eh? Might have been technically correct, but how unkind!!

Stephanie Casemore has a very good website and book about exclusively pumping; I hope eventually all LLL leaders and LCs are required to educate themselves about these issues.


----------



## shishkeberry

Last night I went to my AIL's house for a late birthday party for my DS. We were sitting at the table eating and this was a conversation that my AIL's friend and I had.

Me: I really don't like cheese on my hamburgers.
Her: You don't like cheese? Aren't you still breastfeeding? [my thoughts: what does this have to do with breastfeeding?







:]
Me: No, not so much anymore. DS won't let me.
Her: Well, I don't blame him. There comes a time when a baby just wants a bottle.










OMG, I had to leave the room to cry.


----------



## pjlioness

Quote:


Originally Posted by *shishkeberry*
Her: You don't like cheese? Aren't you still breastfeeding? [my thoughts: what does this have to do with breastfeeding?







:]

May people believe you need to consume dairy products to have enough calcium in your milk.














She may be one of them.


----------



## sarajane

K, this is something my 3 month old's aunt said to her when I laid her on the bed next to me at my mother's house today. "Oh, so you CAN lay down by yourself!" Gee, I like holding my baby girl and when I am out is the easiest time to do it seeing as I have no work to do, I even held her through lunch, she seems to think this is crazy? When she saw me eating with her sitting on my lap she asked me if I wanted her car seat to set her in, "I'm like no, she always eats on my lap, we like it like that." She is only 3 months old for crying out loud and I luv luv luv holding her just because, not only when she is sad.

Don't get me wrong, my sil loves kiddos and has five of her own with another on the way but believes that "It (disclipline) starts when they are babies." and seems to feel the need to let me know I hold Neveah too much....whatever...


----------



## soccerchic21

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sarajane*
When she saw me eating with her sitting on my lap she asked me if I wanted her car seat to set her in, "I'm like no, she always eats on my lap, we like it like that." She is only 3 months old for crying out loud

My mom is always asking me if I want to put Jake down........ummm no I like holding him. She mentioned that would make him needy...umm I don't think so.


----------



## AntoninBeGonin

Quote:


Originally Posted by *paquerette*
That's ridiculous on so many levels, especially since Zoloft is the safest antidepressant for bf'ing!

I think there are legal problems in IL. I'm not sure whether midwifery is illegal or alegal. I know there are mw's practicing under the radar but maybe your friend didn't know that.


Lay midwives are illegal here. So I guess that means technically any midwife willing to stay home with you while you give birth is breaking the law.

~Nay "The Intactavist Doula"














: my little booby bandito, Antonin









I love my super supportive DH







Our kitties!


----------



## pjlioness

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AntoninBeGonin*
Lay midwives are illegal here. So I guess that means technically any midwife willing to stay home with you while you give birth is breaking the law.

My understanding (in 2003) was that they were alegal. I haven't kept up with what's going on legally since the HB group I was attending stopped meeting at the Whole Foods in Palatine and started meeting too far away from me.







Has their legal status changed? If we have another baby, I was planning on seeing the DE midwife I almost decided on when I was pregnant with ds2.


----------



## peaceful_mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *shishkeberry*









Last night I went to my AIL's house for a late birthday party for my DS. We were sitting at the table eating and this was a conversation that my AIL's friend and I had.

Me: I really don't like cheese on my hamburgers.
Her: You don't like cheese? Aren't you still breastfeeding? [my thoughts: what does this have to do with breastfeeding?







:]
Me: No, not so much anymore. DS won't let me.
Her: Well, I don't blame him. There comes a time when a baby just wants a bottle.










OMG, I had to leave the room to cry.









That's the worst, when people just do NOT get that you would do ANYTHING to have a baby who WILL nurse..........like my friend saying her baby who's 2 mos older than mine was still nursing, in that kind of 'I wish she would wean' way about a month ago......I just said GOOD FOR HER!! (while thinking don't you know I would literally have given ANYTHING for the magic answer that would have put me in your shoes??)


----------



## bremen

on life with twins:
*are they twins?
*he is bigger, so he must be older (yeah, 3 min. older by c-section really makes a 5 pound difference in 2 year olds)
* stranger:are they identical
me: we don't know
stranger: how can you not know?
(we did a mail away gene test basically just to be able to answer strangers. the twins are id)
* are they natural? (is there such thing as unnatural children? i know they meant fertility treatment, but come on!)
* in front of the twins: y is so much cuter than c
or: c must have some from the shallow end of the gene pool

on circumcision:
visiting my cousin who had just had a boy, i was walking by the nursery, and saw a little boy red and wailing, with a red bleeding penis. as we walk by, i say to my aunt " that's why i don't circumcise" the baby's father says "but they don't remember it". ugh. an infant wouldn't remember sexual abuse either. does that make it okay?

* ewww. why would you want your son to have a doggy d*ck?
*i wouldn't want to spend all that time cleaning it (but you would like to handle a wound?)

same cousin as above, talking about circing their badly jaundiced baby "but he has to match his brother" (and they wonder why his jaundice lasted weeks, and refused to nurse)

on being so young:
*back in my day we had abortions
*you must have gotten pg in grade school
*your little brother is so cute!
bringing the twins to a huge flea market "are you under 16? then it is only half price to enter"

i just can't believe the kinds of things ppl come up with!


----------



## Robin926

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bremen*

on being so young:
*back in my day we had abortions
*you must have gotten pg in grade school
*your little brother is so cute!
bringing the twins to a huge flea market "are you under 16? then it is only half price to enter"

i just can't believe the kinds of things ppl come up with!

I look pretty young too, although people do think I'm older now that I have a child. But I just had to say.. I would've taken the half-price admission! :LOL


----------



## Amaryllis

When my daughter was about 15 months old, my mom said:
"I think she is addicted to breastmilk. You should be careful, because your father was an addict, and it might be genetic."
She was refering to my late father's heroin addiction, and insinuating some sort of correlation there.








My mom says wacky things sometimes. I have learned to live with it.


----------



## janerose

Quote:


Originally Posted by *retromama*
An EPer was told she couldn't say she "breastfed", that she was a "human milk bottle feeder". Way to be supportive, eh? Might have been technically correct, but how unkind!!










: Things like that just tick me off. My best friend (who's really not a bit** I swear!) basically told me that I couldn't say I breastfed because dd was supplemented from 3 wks on. Hence my sig here. Am I glad I had to supplement and couldn't EBF? Of course not. But am I ashamed of having to supplement either? Nope. I did the best I could and what we felt was right for our family.

Holly


----------



## peaceful_mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kater07*
A woman at the store a few days back stopped me to talk about my gorgeous children. My ds was particularly chatty that day and she said something to the effect of daycare kids always talking sooo well. I said that he's not in daycare that I am a stay at home mom, and she mumbled something about him obviously being special b/c only daycare kids learned to talk that well.

Sigh

Actually, I've worked in a few daycares.....and from what *I've* seen...it's the kids who are raised at home or cared for by a family member at least through toddler-age who are the most articulate!







I've got 2 friends with kids who are 3 this month, both at home with mom, and those kids talk like they're at least 5 already--complex sentences, able to have a conversation, the whole bit. Another friend of mine's kid is 5 now but has talked like that since age 2, grandma was her 'daycare.'
My own son has had me home basically all summer, the only other person who's ever taken care of him is grandma, and he can wave bye-bye, do 'so-big', signs 'sleepy', 'fish', 'duck', we're working on 'milk' and 'more' (I've seen those a couple times, working for more often) And he says 'mama' and 'baaa' (banana) regularly, has said 'papa' a couple times, and calls my mom 'Ma' for 'grandma!' I think that's VERY good for a 10 month old!! He also has started to take a couple steps!! I really think this is in part because he's securely attached to me and to grandma, a LOT more so than he would be at a daycare, where he'd have someone different all the time doing bottles, diapers, etc. and in BIG part that because he's here with us, we've got time to WORK WITH HIM. My parents will have him try to walk between them, my mom will co-nap, he's very well-cared for.


----------



## kater07

I went on vacation last week without DH, but with my 3yo and 6m old.

I had 1 woman tell me "that's the perfect way to distract a baby on an airplane" when I started to nurse DD as we got ready to take off.

The same woman gushed over my sling as we were getting off the plane. She'd also offered to keep DD while I took DS to the bathroom, but that wouldn't have gone over well with my mom who was sitting behind us. She was such a nice lady. She did get to hold DD later.

Then, on the way out of the airport, this much older lady hurried to catch up to me to whisper in my ear that "that's exactly where they should be" pointing to DD in the sling. She told me what a great mom I am for making sure that DD was close, attached and could see my face b/c right now, mommy is the most important thing she needs.

It was a really cool trip!


----------



## peaceful_mama

Awesome!


----------



## RedPony

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Staraklaw*
When my daughter was about 15 months old, my mom said:
"I think she is addicted to breastmilk. You should be careful, because your father was an addict, and it might be genetic."
She was refering to my late father's heroin addiction, and insinuating some sort of correlation there.








My mom says wacky things sometimes. I have learned to live with it.

My mouth just dropped open when I read this.







: And from your mom, of all people.

It's a good thing you know better!


----------



## mamabeca

I mostly wanted to be poster #2000, 'cause I never have been, but I've got a good one to share, too...

My mom suggested we get the baby Einstein videos because otherwise my (now 6 mo old, then 2 month old!) son would never give me a moments peace. She was referring to the fact that my dd (now 7yo) didn't watch tv for a long time, and really didn't like it. Huh?!

What I said: I think he's got about 85 years, on average, to learn to like TV mom. and left the room.


----------



## mamabeca

I missed it!


----------



## peaceful_mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lousli*
I was so ticked. This is my daughter she's talking about! Plus, she's her grandmother. She's supposed to think she's pretty no matter what! or keep it to herself if she doesn't think so!

(For reference, or if you want to decide for yourself, here are some pics:
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/b/bigsister/
password:mycroft)

Well I checked out those pics and I think they're BOTH beautiful!! I *love* that pic at the bottom......who could say your 4 year old's 'not pretty' with those GORGEOUS EYES?? and she's got a great name by the way too







LOL


----------



## Mummoth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Staraklaw*
When my daughter was about 15 months old, my mom said:
"I think she is addicted to breastmilk. You should be careful, because your father was an addict, and it might be genetic."
She was refering to my late father's heroin addiction, and insinuating some sort of correlation there.








My mom says wacky things sometimes. I have learned to live with it.

If only we were all 'addicted' to healthy things!


----------



## artgirl

When my first dd was born I was distraught at the idea of going back to work. My step mom agreed to watch her for me on Wednesdays.

The first day she came over (dd was 8 weeks old) I was explaining how I never wanted dd to cry herself to sleep. SM looked at me like I had a nut loose. She said "never?!" and I said, "well, so far I know that I am not ready for that to happen, we'll see how it goes." (I was still unsure of myself and not ready to do combat) I then told her a story about a tv show where the parents had let their baby CIO and then when the baby finally went to sleep the mother said "I just taught my daughter that her heart can be broken" and that I wasn't ready for dds heart to be broken. (I was tearing up telling her, I was very emotional then and very much in love with my baby).

She looked at me and said "well, her heart is going to be broken sometime."

ARGH!!! The fear I had that she would let dd CIO was with me every day she watched her although she promised that she wouldn't be the one to make that decision. I was too stunned and emotionally raw to come up with a good reply at the time. You know what? Dd was probably going to fall down sometime in her life too, should I just drop her on the floor now and get it over with? OH, I'm mad just thinking about it.

I can happily report that dd is three now and still has never CIO! And neither has my 6 mo. old son. Here's to keeping your baby's heart intact for as long as humanly possible.


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## soccerchic21

My mom just told me a few weeks ago that I needed to wean my then 3 week old son off of suckling at my breast for comfort because I am going back to work....ummmm no.


----------



## saratchka

Quote:


Originally Posted by *retromama*
An EPer was told she couldn't say she "breastfed", that she was a "human milk bottle feeder". Way to be supportive, eh? Might have been technically correct, but how unkind!!


Quote:


Originally Posted by *janerose*







: Things like that just tick me off. My best friend (who's really not a bit** I swear!) basically told me that I couldn't say I breastfed because dd was supplemented from 3 wks on.









I'm sure these people don't mean to be cruel, but what are they thinking?







If you want to be really technical, these kids are being breastfed, if indirectly or not exclusively. After all, breastmilk is getting into their tummies, so a breast is involved. :LOL I'm not sure why some folks feel the need to make such distinctions, though. As far as I can tell, the result is generally hurtful, and I just can't see who benefits.








to everyone who's doing her best for her baby!


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## JSerene

A relative visited last night and was being supportive of my choices to breastfeed and co-sleep. I had to laugh, though, when she said, "well, it's a good thing you had a girl...I boy would be embarrassed to learn later that he slept with his parents." Huh?

MIL recently expressed the opinion that my 3 mo old dd is spoiled because she won't take the artificial nipple. As if she's doing it on purpose? Of course, she also commented that she was too fat.


----------



## ramlita

My husband's father died suddenly when DD was two. DD was our only child, and FIL's only grandchild.
We're all still grieving the loss of FIL. For his mother, the form it takes is lamenting that FIL never had a grand_son,_ just a granddaughter.








FIL was very close with DH, me, and DD. He planned his work day so he could visit us about three times a week! (that's in addition to our Sunday visits to his house) He loved DD dearly, and she him. I am completely confident that the gender of his grandchild was a non-issue to him.

Nonetheless, his mother continued to rail on the topic as years passed, saying how he would have loved us to have a boy, and when were we going to have another baby, anyway?
Then this whole pregnancy, she put pressure on me for this one to be a boy. Oh, okay, obnoxious woman, I will really concentrate this time and form this one into a boy shape. Because it's possible, and because I should bend to your will.








The latest comment is a splinter stuck in my heart: we all went over for a visit, and as this woman is holding my baby boy, gazing reverently at him, she says,
"It's such a shame that you couldn't have been born first."







:ignore

I'm just thankful that DD wasn't in the room to hear her g-gramma say she basically didn't deserve to have been the one who had the opportunity to know her beloved grampa.


----------



## artgirl

ramlah, this isn't very nice, but that makes me want to strangle that woman.







Thank god she didn't say it in front of your dd!
The only thing I can think is that someone must not have valued her very much when she was a child.


----------



## Robin926

ramlah - I just want to cry for you! I hope she never ever says anything in front of your children; they don't need that kind of baggage. I'm so sorry she said those things to you!


----------



## PatsGrace

nak
On one of my last days of work I was feeling pretty bright and cheery. We opened the store up and I got my first customer:

Guy: Oh great, I get the grumpy PREGNANT one!

Me: (feeling pretty happy till that coment) Yup! You sure do!

Guy: You know, my wife gained 50 pounds with our kid, boy was she a bi***!

Me: I'm sure she was! (I sure was at that point!)

It's amazing that that guy ended up with exactly what he predicted: a grumpy pregnant lady. And I'm sure he deserved every bit of bi***iness his wife gave him!


----------



## Jadzia

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ramlah*
My husband's father died suddenly when DD was two. DD was our only child, and FIL's only grandchild.
We're all still grieving the loss of FIL. For his mother, the form it takes is lamenting that FIL never had a grand_son,_ just a granddaughter.








FIL was very close with DH, me, and DD. He planned his work day so he could visit us about three times a week! (that's in addition to our Sunday visits to his house) He loved DD dearly, and she him. I am completely confident that the gender of his grandchild was a non-issue to him.

Nonetheless, his mother continued to rail on the topic as years passed, saying how he would have loved us to have a boy, and when were we going to have another baby, anyway?
Then this whole pregnancy, she put pressure on me for this one to be a boy. Oh, okay, obnoxious woman, I will really concentrate this time and form this one into a boy shape. Because it's possible, and because I should bend to your will.








The latest comment is a splinter stuck in my heart: we all went over for a visit, and as this woman is holding my baby boy, gazing reverently at him, she says,
"It's such a shame that you couldn't have been born first."







:ignore

I'm just thankful that DD wasn't in the room to hear her g-gramma say she basically didn't deserve to have been the one who had the opportunity to know her beloved grampa.









The next time she says something like that, you ought to throw it back at her by saying something like "Now why would you want to disrespect the memory of Grandpa by saying such a thing about his beloved granddaughter?"


----------



## ramlita

Thank you!
Part of my struggle with this topic is the fact that it really personally hurts and offends me, so I completely lose power of speech every time it comes up. I can't find a thing to say that's somewhere between the extremes: silence, or BAWLING this woman out on the whole range of reasons she should stop this line of commentary.







:

When she says, "don't let him sleep with you, or he'll still be in your bed when he's five," it's easy to shrug it off, since my/our answer to that is a smiling, "Fine by us!" -there's no emotional component to struggle with.

But with this, I just want to cry.


----------



## Corvus

I don't get why so many ppl insist that you MUST have at least one of each gender. I do think it's worse for those of us with all girls... most older people seem to value boys more than girls, so I think we hear that crap more than those who have all boys. Just my observation.

I've probably posted it here already, but my father's wife has been pulling this on us ever since we found out DD2 was a girl. She has never birthed a child but thinks she knows everything about pregnancy, birth, and raising children. Yet she is one of the coldest people I've ever known. She has asked me when we're going to "try for a boy." I said, "I don't know. We'll see how we do with 2 kids first." She said, "Oh, you'll want to try for a boy. Believe me. You gotta have a boy."

Huh?

What's worse is that she has said this in front of DD1, who is almost 3yo and understands everything we say. Plus, I am the youngest of 2 girls, and I was told my whole life that I was "supposed to be a boy." So it makes me feel pretty crappy to hear it again as an adult, from someone that I already know hates me.

I just don't want my kids ever alone with her. The stuff she spews is hateful and disgusting.

I won't deny that DH and I would LOVE to have a boy, IN ADDITION TO our 2 girls. We wouldn't change a thing about our beautiful, sweet girls.

ETA: Another gem from my father's wife. At my first labor, I pushed for 3.5 hours. At my second labor, I pushed for 45 minutes, and the baby was half a pound heavier than the first. My father's wife gave what she thought was a compliment: "Wow, only 45 minutes, and the baby was bigger! That's great! You didn't drag it out like last time?"

Yea, I "dragged" it out last time, because I was LOVING the pushing phase so much. I wanted to keep you all at the hospital waiting as late into the night as I could. That was my plan.


----------



## VioletMommy

Wow. I can't believe what hateful things people say. Especially when our so-called 'love ones' are saying it! I would cut those people out of my life, or at least severly limit the time they spent with my child, personally, but I'm a reactionary when it comes to that sort of thing...
I have a strange step-mother, but I like the reference used by the previous poster, her 'father's wife.' When my father and his wife came to visit me and DS in the hospital, I had said "Oh, he's really sweet. He stops crying when we pick him up." She said "That's not a good sign!" Huh? Also, when he was ONE WEEK OLD, she asked if he was sleeping through the night. I said no, and she said "it's because he knows he has company," referring to our co-sleeping. *sigh* I'm sure to hear more of her old-fashioned stupidity as time goes on. She was also horrified that we put him in a sleeper with pink sheep on it. She said she wouldn't tell him when he grew up that his parents put him in a girly outfit. Jeez. I'm sure that DS will now be gay (which would be fine with mommy and daddy!) because we put him in a sleeper with pink sheep on it. What a weirdo.


----------



## Corvus

VioletMommy, I've only recently stopped referring to her as my "step-mother" and started referring to her as my "father's wife." I feel it's a more accurate description of my relationship with her.

They've been married since I was 15 and together since I was 8. So she's been in my life a LONG time, but she has never been a mother-figure to me. She's tried, but again, she's quite cold and rude. Oh, and she hates my sister and me. Once I became a mother 3 years ago, I realized what a mother REALLY is. And I don't want that title anywhere near her! :LOL


----------



## Aura_Kitten

one more thing, i'm pretty sure i haven't posted this yet ~ a lot of the time i hear things along the lines of, "you already had a boy, aren't you glad this one was a girl??" (referring to my daughter) well this one lady told me once, "now you have a boy AND a girl, GOOD now you can STOP [having babies]".

right. because, you know, all i set out to do was have one of each gender....







:

... next time i'll try for an intersexed baby. THEN i can stop.


----------



## peaceful_mama

WOW........if that were MY family member basically saying my daughter was worthless..........I think I wouldn't be bringing ANY child of mine around her!!







And yeah, I agree with pp about making a comment about 'his beloved granddaughter' before you never bring those kids around her again. Thank G-d your daughter wasn't around to hear it!!

*I* have gotten *no* comments on my boy since his birth....just while I was pregnant, when I first got pregnant, for some reason, I thought he was going to be a girl.......I have since learned I should go with the gut instinct that comes at about 4 months, because *that's* when I got the major 'boy' vibes. Quite a few people felt the need to comment that I should be fine with a boy too........I NEVER said I wouldn't be!

I would change NOTHING about my boy.


----------



## artgoddess

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PatsGrace*
nak
On one of my last days of work I was feeling pretty bright and cheery. We opened the store up and I got my first customer:

Guy: Oh great, I get the grumpy PREGNANT one!

Me: (feeling pretty happy till that coment) Yup! You sure do!

Guy: You know, my wife gained 50 pounds with our kid, boy was she a bi***!

Me: I'm sure she was! (I sure was at that point!)

It's amazing that that guy ended up with exactly what he predicted: a grumpy pregnant lady. And I'm sure he deserved every bit of bi***iness his wife gave him!

If I was married to a guy like this I'd have been a Bit** too!!


----------



## sapphire_chan

Lately there have been two really great responses to any horrible comment made by family members.
First tell the offender, "why would you say that about your beloved (neice, grandson, cousin) ?".
Then, if that doesn't cue them in that they were inappropriate, say "well, I feel that what you said was disgusting and hateful and please don't ever say it again."


----------



## dnr3301

Quote:


Originally Posted by *VioletMommy*
Also, when he was ONE WEEK OLD, she asked if he was sleeping through the night.

MY FIL asked us this when he came to visit us the day after ds was born! I mean, come on, ds was about 20 hours old, hadn't even had a full day with us, much less any pattern of behavior other than some combonation of eat sleep poop. I just looked at him and said, "no, he's only one day old, and it's not that big of a priority for us for him to sleep through the night soon," He seemed embarrassed and I think realized he had no idea what he was talking about. I think he just thought that's what you were supposed to ask people with new babies. I'm not quite sue why he still felt that would be important to us, since dd was 3 and we had the same attitude with her.


----------



## catnip

Yeah. Like maybe wait until the baby has had a whole night before you ask that question? WHat is with these people.


----------



## EnviroBecca

At the bus stop this morning, I had my baby in a hip carry in the sling, and he was wearing a typical summer outfit of short-overalls and sunhat. An old lady came over and said, "I have to tell you what my mother-in-law would have told you; she's passed on now, of course, but she would have told you, 'You have a hat on that baby and no shoes!' I went to the five-and-dime, and those shoes cost me a dollar and a quarter." She looked at me expectantly.







I said, "I think he's more comfortable without shoes in this hot weather, but I do worry about his feet getting sunburned, so if we're out for a while I put sunscreen on them." She replied, enthusiastically, "Oh, you put Vaseline on them. It's only a dollar a jar. We LIVED with Vaseline!" I said, "Hmm, is that so," and then the bus came.








: Does she agree w/departed MIL's advice, or was she wanting me to agree that it was stupid? WHY does she/MIL think a baby needs shoes in summer? Was she suggesting Vaseline as a sunscreen or as a treatment for sunburn? (I would not use Vaseline in any case; it is gross!!) It doesn't matter; I'm just puzzled. This lady is at our bus stop frequently, and I realized today that although I have no idea what her name really is, my brain has started calling her Helen Nebbish. :LOL


----------



## Amaryllis

In my experience, the bus stop is the best place to meet crazy people. Don't think too hard about it!


----------



## soccerchic21

Quote:


Originally Posted by *EnviroBecca*
WHY does she/MIL think a baby needs shoes in summer?

My MIL is the same way. People always need shoes and socks on at her house. I don't get it. She used to watch DD and she would never let DD go around barefoot at her house. DD would come home with hot sweaty feet.


----------



## peaceful_mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *EnviroBecca*







: Does she agree w/departed MIL's advice, or was she wanting me to agree that it was stupid? WHY does she/MIL think a baby needs shoes in summer? Was she suggesting Vaseline as a sunscreen or as a treatment for sunburn? (I would not use Vaseline in any case; it is gross!!) It doesn't matter; I'm just puzzled. This lady is at our bus stop frequently, and I realized today that although I have no idea what her name really is, my brain has started calling her Helen Nebbish. :LOL

I would have just said that today's research shows it's better for babies NOT to have shoes. WHY does a baby need shoes if they aren't walking?? (unless they need them to keep their feet warm when it's cold maybe.) My son is 10 mos old and has NEVER worn a pair of shoes....


----------



## Queen of Cups

The shoe conversation reminded me... My FIL's mother (a very sweet old lady who just adores me because I produced the first great-grandchild and it was a boy to boot!







) was fascinated by DS's robeez shoes. She was telling me how when FIL was a baby their doctor insisted that it was very important that all babies have rigid boots that laced up to above the ankle to make sure the feet and ankles grew straight. Then she told us that the place to buy those in Chatanooga (where she lives) was the "Juvenile Bootery." We all nearly died laughing over that! Can you think of a scarier sounding place?!


----------



## Krystal323

Wow, having quite a few laughs from this thread!

Most of the stupidest things that I've heard regarding my kids have been said by my dear wonderful dad. He's in his mid-60's and had a rotten childhood himself, and he just doenb't get the way we choose to live on so many levels







He really does mean well, but soometimes....

We're at a buffet restaurant, and I carry my dd up there and show her all the food, then she tells me what to put on her plate. I show her everything even though we're veg--she just asks me, "does that have meat in it?", "is that good for you?" etc and she gets whatever she wants, even dessert. I came back and my dad looked at Lili's plate--she had picked about 10 different nibbly things from the salad bar, some broccoli, green beans, peaches, a cold bean salad, and pickled okra (which even I think is gross!). She's eatiing all this with gusto, and my dad says with disdain:

"why don't you feed that kid something substatial...like french fries!"








drop: I mean, what kind of a parent discourages fresh veggies and fruits in favor of fried yukkiness?!? LOL my husband, mother and I just about died laughing, and my dad looked thoroughly annoyed w/us







:


----------



## shishkeberry

"Juvenile Bootery"


----------



## RedPony

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Krystal323*
"why don't you feed that kid something substatial...like french fries!"

Perhaps this is what has happened to my thighs...







They've become "substantial" from my french fry addiction.







:


----------



## peaceful_mama

MY dad too!! He'll walk by DS's highchair and go 'yuk!' when he's eating something like squash or avocado....but this morning, he wanted to feed him bites of a TWINKIE!!

It's not just that I'm being a food snob with him or something, it's that he is allergic to dairy and soy, BOTH of which are in TWINKIES!!

I am also not giving him fish, wheat and eggs until a year minimum because of their high-allergy tendency. and no PB etc. till at least 2. The 4 allergens in Twinkies? Yup, box says 'contains wheat, milk, eggs, and soy!'

yet HE doesn't like 'all those weird vegetables' so I shouldn't feed them to ds.......this is WHY I'd be doing that!! DS eats mashed lima beans, mashed squash, sauteed swiss chard, he thinks a garden tomato or an avocado are TREATS.......he's TEN MONTHS OLD!! (He also LOVES fruit. Any and all.) Kid eats better than *I* do!


----------



## janerose

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zakers_mama*
yet HE doesn't like 'all those weird vegetables' so I shouldn't feed them to ds.......this is WHY I'd be doing that!!

This is really common. DH's family is the worst, but my family does this too. My mom doesn't like avocados and makes some comment everytime dd shares one with dh. I don't like them either unless they're mixed with other stuff but why should I burden dd with that bias?

Holly


----------



## catnip

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zakers_mama*
It's not just that I'm being a food snob with him or something, it's that he is allergic to dairy and soy, BOTH of which are in TWINKIES!!

I am also not giving him fish, wheat and eggs until a year minimum because of their high-allergy tendency. and no PB etc. till at least 2. The 4 allergens in Twinkies? Yup, box says 'contains wheat, milk, eggs, and soy!'

Wow. ANd here I thought Twinkies were 100% petroleum derivatives...

ETA: oh no wait, they have beef tallow in them...


----------



## soccerchic21

The post about not wanting avacados made me think of this.

Whenever we eat at MILs house she always makes my niece and nephew have some of whatever she is serving on their plates and they have to eat it.

I think this is rediculous. If I don't like peas I don't have to eat them why should they? Of course my BIL goes along with his mother.

When my kids are old enough I am not going to make them eat stuff they don't like...I don't care where we are....actually we do this with DD already and she is 2.


----------



## rozzie'sma

When I was pregnant with DD my husband's cousin told me that if I gained more than 10 pounds during my pregnancy I was just being a glutton and that I would never lose the weight.


----------



## janerose

I agree that you should never force a child to eat something they don't like. I do believe in having children at least *try* something before they don't like it. We were allowed to have dislikes, but it was expected that we would eat a few bites of something new before we decided we didn't like it.

My step brother & sis are notorious for this. One of the most common conversations with them goes something like this:

Them: What's that?
Me: It's ______. (recently done with feta, eggplant, & pesto)
Them: Ewwww. That's gross!
Me: Have you ever even tried it?
Them: No...but it looks/smells/sounds gross.








They've been conditioned to think that anything fresh or doesn't come from a box is "gross".







:

Holly

Quote:


Originally Posted by *soccerchic21*
The post about not wanting avacados made me think of this.

Whenever we eat at MILs house she always makes my niece and nephew have some of whatever she is serving on their plates and they have to eat it.

I think this is rediculous. If I don't like peas I don't have to eat them why should they? Of course my BIL goes along with his mother.

When my kids are old enough I am not going to make them eat stuff they don't like...I don't care where we are....actually we do this with DD already and she is 2.


----------



## MelissaEvans

I know what you mean about not wanting to force a kid to eat something. My mom *made* me eat liver and onions and peas and all manner of things I hated. So I did; until I moved out. Guess how many times I'v had them now? She won the battle, but I won the war. =)

I just don't think dinner time should be a battle ground. Offer good foods, let the child pick what he wants to eat and just let it go. But for my parents, they had to be in complete control all the time. They'd explode if they tried that. =)


----------



## Delacroix

Give your family members enough time, and maybe they'll gradually begin to come around. When my kids were little, my family would always grumble about the healthy foods that I brought to our get togethers.

You can't imagine how good it felt to see everyone descending on my vegetarian eggrolls on the fourth of July this year. My hummus, homemade flatbread, eggrolls and avocado salad were gone long before they'd made a dent in their grilled meats.

I was so pleased.


----------



## the_lissa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *janerose*
I agree that you should never force a child to eat something they don't like. I do believe in having children at least *try* something before they don't like it. We were allowed to have dislikes, but it was expected that we would eat a few bites of something new before we decided we didn't like it.

My step brother & sis are notorious for this. One of the most common conversations with them goes something like this:

Them: What's that?
Me: It's ______. (recently done with feta, eggplant, & pesto)
Them: Ewwww. That's gross!
Me: Have you ever even tried it?
Them: No...but it looks/smells/sounds gross.








They've been conditioned to think that anything fresh or doesn't come from a box is "gross".







:

Holly


I agree we shold encourage our childen to try new things, but I don't think they should be forced. There was a thread on this subject that turned bad.


----------



## minkajane

My son ate lunch the other day with me and my coworkers. I sat him in a high chair and piled broccoli, cauliflower, red peppers, mushroom slices, etc, in front of him. DS dug in with gusto - he loves veggies. Of course, my coworkers immediately start in on why he's not eating something 'good' like Cheetos or ice cream. One of them has a 2-year-old and talks about how she gets a mini-bag of Cheetos and a Hershey bar every day. That poor kid is going to be such a terrible eater when she gets older. DS would choose veggies any day over that other stuff. He shouldn't eat any of it anyway. He's only 7 1/2 months old - no way am I giving him wheat-and-preservative-filled Cheetos and sugary dairy foods.


----------



## peaceful_mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *soccerchic21*
The post about not wanting avacados made me think of this.

Whenever we eat at MILs house she always makes my niece and nephew have some of whatever she is serving on their plates and they have to eat it.

I think this is rediculous. If I don't like peas I don't have to eat them why should they? Of course my BIL goes along with his mother.

When my kids are old enough I am not going to make them eat stuff they don't like...I don't care where we are....actually we do this with DD already and she is 2.


See, I feel the same way....but at the same time, I am going to teach my child to say 'no, thank you' rather than "EWWW GROSS, I HATE...." and that if they aren't sure they're going to like it, they should take just a little bit and try it, they can always take more.

The one most annoying thing at the preschool I work at (and I know this is NORMAL, I am just learning HOW to teach that this isn't the right thing to do)
The kids are allowed to serve themselves--nothing wrong with this. But they will fill up their whole bowl with something and then eat a bite or two and want to throw the rest away! The sad part of it is that sometimes this means a kid who *would* eat seconds goes without. *HOW* do I teach these kids it's more polite and NOT necessary to fill your whole bowl, you can always take more if you are still hungry?? And that it is *not* worth pitching a fit if you are asked to please NOT take more than one scoop at a time.... (They already have appropriately kid-size cups, bowls, scoops...)

anyway I digress....


----------



## JSerene

All this talk of food reminded me of a terrible video I just rented from the library. It was about infant CPR and general emergencies. When they got to the part about what to do about fever and dehydration my jaw dropped. The nurse on the video recommended giving an infant (1) gelatin, (2) apple juice or (3) flat soda. What??? Are you kidding? Then they showed a baby, maybe 5 mo old, glugging down a large bottle full of apple juice. Sigh. Such horrible misinformation. No wonder well-meaning parents end up on the wrong track. Breastfeeding was mentioned in passing, but the video showed nothing but bottlefeeders.

In addition, the nurse in the video warned that it was dangerous to co-sleep. She also said the best way to give a baby medicine was with their nipple, to which DH said, "the only nipples in this house are attached to our chests, how do you suppose we should manage that?" Hehehe... It seemed out of the question that anyone could have a baby without a house full of bottles and nipples. The whole thing was sort of like culture shock for me because I'm so used to being around like-minded people. BTW, it was only a few years old, so there's not even the excuse that it was out of date.


----------



## Charles Baudelaire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane*
One of them has a 2-year-old and talks about how she gets a mini-bag of Cheetos and a Hershey bar every day. .

ukeukeukeukeukeukeukeukeukeuke


----------



## peaceful_mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *indiana ima*
an ex-girlfriend of mine put her daughter into daycare for the "socialization" when her daughter was SIX WEEKS OLD.


OMGosh.....that POOR BABY!!

I used to work in a daycare. Six week old babies in our center were picked up for changing and bottles, and put back down in bouncy seat, crib, or swing for 2 more hours. Not necessarily because we WANTED To, but because we had FIFTEEN INFANTS and THREE adults!!

Want the baby to learn socialization? Keep her home and TALK TO HER!!

In all seriousness, the most social, verbal, empathetic, well-adjusted kids I know are kids who spent *at least* the first 1 1/2-2 years of life at home with either a parent or a grandparent. IMexperience, the kids I had in daycare were more aggressive and less verbal on average--gee, I wonder WHY, the adults around them (or teenagers, we had some `16 17 yo's) spent their days gossiping while the kids played. And if I was a one yr. old in a group of 10 kids my age in a little room all day, I'd be stressed too!!


----------



## peaceful_mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane*
One of them has a 2-year-old and talks about how she gets a mini-bag of Cheetos and a Hershey bar every day. .


Oh my...........OK even my dad (the Twinkie-feeder) would think it was wrong to give a 2 yo a little bag of Cheetos and a candy bar daily.......or even in the same day! Even my most mainstream ignorant about nutrition friends would not do this on a daily basis, or even those 2 things in the same day.....and we WONDER why there is a childhood obesity problem with parents like that.....


----------



## Corvus

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zakers_mama*
The one most annoying thing at the preschool I work at (and I know this is NORMAL, I am just learning HOW to teach that this isn't the right thing to do)
The kids are allowed to serve themselves--nothing wrong with this. But they will fill up their whole bowl with something and then eat a bite or two and want to throw the rest away! The sad part of it is that sometimes this means a kid who *would* eat seconds goes without. *HOW* do I teach these kids it's more polite and NOT necessary to fill your whole bowl, you can always take more if you are still hungry?? And that it is *not* worth pitching a fit if you are asked to please NOT take more than one scoop at a time.... (They already have appropriately kid-size cups, bowls, scoops...)

Honestly, I wouldn't let them serve themselves. Pre-schoolers are 3-5 years old, right? I think that's way too young to serve themselves, unless a teacher is right there monitoring how much they take. It sounds like that doesn't happen. Sounds like this is just a wasteful practice, and the kids aren't really learning anything from it.


----------



## H&HMom

Woo hoo! It only took me a week to get through this whole thread. So many sad and funny comments!

One that sticks in my mind is from pregnancy with DS #1.

I was at an OB appt. and meeting the other OBs in the practice so that I would know whoever was there for the delivery of my baby. So, this OB I had never meet before walks in with my chart and the first thing she says is: "You're gaining too much weight!" I was pissed. I had gained about 25 pounds at that point and was about 8 months along, so it's not like I could do anything about it then anyway! Like I'm going to start a diet for the last 2 months of pregnancy!







:

So, the next appointment, I meet yet another OB for the first time. She also comments on my weight. Keep in mind, I'm a petite woman who was at my ideal weight and in excellent shape when I conceived DS1. I also wasn't sitting around eating junk all day. I was still exercising and eating well, I just happened to gain weight very easily while pregnant!

This same OB told me at the appointment on my due date: I DOUBT you're going to give birth before you're induced! And she set up my induction for the following Monday. DS arrived 3 days later, in a very fast labor. The "mean OB" as I call her didn't even arrive in time to catch. Hah! I think DS heard her talking and wanted to prove her wrong.







If he hadn't arrived before my induction I was going to cancel it anyway. I thought it was stupid to be induced just a week after my due date for the drs.' convenience.

Needless to say, I switched to a midwife for my second pregnancy and if there's a third pregnancy I plan to homebirth!

Laura


----------



## peaceful_mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corvus*
Honestly, I wouldn't let them serve themselves. Pre-schoolers are 3-5 years old, right? I think that's way too young to serve themselves, unless a teacher is right there monitoring how much they take. It sounds like that doesn't happen. Sounds like this is just a wasteful practice, and the kids aren't really learning anything from it.

Well, that's what *I* think on the food, they do fine with the beverages for the most part, as they get REALLY SMALL cups. However, number one, I'm not fully in charge. 2, I started in March last year when they'd already been doing this for six months...and 3, the curriculum says the kids should be allowed to choose how much to have and whether or not to eat at all. I think we may have some success this year if we start the year off telling them ONE scoop and using the small scoops we got last year after I started. They may have any amount UP TO *one* full scoop at a time.









Some other teachers serve up the bowls themselves and just let the kids choose whether or not to take one. I don't actually know what our boss would say about this. I *think* what the High Scope people would tell us is the way our classroom does it is the 'correct' way, and we just need to find a way to communicate and teach them appropriate portion taking.


----------



## WinterBaby

re: the kids' servings... In my dd's preschool (and we're talking 2 to 3) they serve themselves, but are monitored. They're encouraged to take only small amounts and eating that before they take more, while being reassured that they can take as much as they like, only they must take it in small quantities at a time. If things are getting out of hand we take the food off the table and offer the serving plates or bowls to individual children as they're out of that type of snack (and pulling them back before they can take more than one or two of the item, lol). However - if the issue is you run OUT of sufficient food to satisfy all the kids, and it ends up being a contest of feeling a need to take everything you might possibly want to eat right at the begining or losing out (which means kids that would otherwise take small portions will quickly learn to take large ones,) the answer would also appear to be insuring there is sufficient food to satisfy every child's appetite.


----------



## peaceful_mama

mmmmmm I think it's just more that they were never taught and limited to just one scoop at a time. The only foods we ever really had a problem with this with were cereal and applesauce. The other snacks they did just fine taking and eating what they needed. They had it stuck in their heads that they needed a full bowl/small fruit cup and certain kids would have an absolute fit if stopped from taking so much. That's why I think if we start off this year with a 'one scoop or less at one time' rule while we keep telling them they can take more when their 'firsts' are gone, they'll do MUCH better. (and they've been off 3 months, so I think the ones who were doing this last year are likely to have 'forgotten' or at least they will be out of the habit.) They send us a certain serving size for each kid, and last year 99% of the time it would balance out between kids who would eat nothing and kids who would eat seconds, often with leftovers, which we'd serve another day with a less-popular or smaller snack.

Maybe I'm just bugged more than average by wasted food...but I do think it's a valuable lesson to teach kids how to serve themselves appropriate-sized portions.
It does seem like a natural consequence too, that if they can't handle serving themselves small portions and taking seconds later, that then we have to take over the serving.......but occasionally our High/Scope curriculum has weird views on things like that, so it may not be allowed. I would have to ask.


----------



## peaceful_mama

and back to the original topic at hand.....with friends today at potluck, SCA, one couple had their kids with, baby is about 8-10 weeks....one parent referred to babe as 'spoiled' (I KNOW they didn't mean it in a Pearls or BabyWise kind of way, they are NOT those kind of people)

I piped up 'No, newborns can't be spoiled, she just knows she's loved'









Go me!! (OTOH, I JOKINGLY said 'now my babe, he's bordering on spoiled...but everyone could tell I didn't MEAN it LOL)

by the way I don't know if I read this on this post but it was somewhere on these boards mamas were talking about having weaned long ago and feeling 'let-down' feeling when near a baby or holding a baby.........I held that sweet tiny babe snuggled up against my chest walking around and yup......even without ever having directly nursed my babe, it happens to me too.............and that sweet little babe makes me want another!! ALREADY!! Is that crazy or what??? I have a TEN MONTH OLD......he still snuggles.









(OK it's that part of me that just KNOWS he needs a little sister and already has her named and a couple of outfits secreted away for her...)

**OK now I have to add the disclaimer that while I would LOVE a little sister for him, I have also saved my favorite BOY outfits of Z's and would be just as happy if he had a little BROTHER too***


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *H&HMom*
This same OB told me at the appointment on my due date: I DOUBT you're going to give birth before you're induced! And she set up my induction for the following Monday. DS arrived 3 days later, in a very fast labor.

Gosh! Don't you KNOW??? Babies will just stay "in there" _forever_ if the god-like doctors don't get them out!

Or at least that's what my MIL would have you think. DH was a a couple weeks "late" and MIL instists that "he would come so they had to take him" (c-section). I roll my eyes every time she says that. The woman makes me


----------



## ruthieroo

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pjlioness*
One thing I could never understand is why a friend of mine who had one med. hospital birth in IL, then a homebirth in TX (they were very much in debt and didn't have insurance, so they decided to have a midwife at home) went back to having med. hospital births for her 3rd and 4th kids in IL.







:







: She had absolutely raved to me about her homebirth, that she had so much energy, was up and about the next day,







. I've never asked her why she went back...maybe I will someday.

I'd be curious, too. I had my first child at home 4 months ago and totally loved having a homebirth. But at the same time I never really clicked with my midwife and it was almost like after I had my successful homebirth I gave myself permission to admit to myself that I really didn't like her.







Of course she helped me decide that when she stayed and talked forever on the postpartum checks when I just wanted to be alone to snuggle with my baby and then pushed me to make a decision about vaccinations practically on the spot. (And "the right decision" was to get him vaccinated on schedule, of course.) Anyway, I just can't see having her as a midwife again in the future and she is seriously the only somewhat local midwife. So sometimes I wonder what I will decide to do if I get pregnant with #2 while we are still living in this area and do lean towards the idea of a hospital "next time" if I find a doctor I like. Of course the chances of that are slim, too. With that said there is no way I'd choose a medicated birth after having an unmedicated home birth. I had 16 hours of back labor without drugs and I found it to be very tolerable!


----------



## jenP

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CryPixie83*
Gosh! Don't you KNOW??? Babies will just stay "in there" _forever_ if the god-like doctors don't get them out!

That's what I thought of when I heard of a woman being harassed by her OB to get a flu shot, "If you don't get the flu shot I won't deliver your baby!"
...Oh no, then it will just stay in there forever!

Jen


----------



## retromama

note to self: do NOT check in on this thread (after a week or so) when baby is asleep on chest. Choking back laughter to not wake her nearly killed me.
"Juvenile Bootery"?!?!









I agree on the shoe thing - DD (at 8 mo) has never worn anything more than socks; I see no reason for shoes until she is walking _outside_! And even then she'll only need them, you know, _outside_. But the in-laws keep giving me hard little baby shoes and then gripe about not seeing them on her.


----------



## green betty

People here make little comments and give me funny looks ALL the time for my barefoot babe... I respond to comments by pointing out that his feet stay warm in cool weather because they are tucked in a fleece sling, and that I like to leave his feet bare because they are sensory organs that teach him about the world. Developmentally, he's supposed to go around feeling stuff with his feet.

The folk of the village think that I am really crazy.

So I suppose I only enhanced my reputation by my actions last night. I met a group of mama friends from playgroup for a "girl's night out" down at the pub at the foot of my hill. They could NOT BELIEVE that it was the first time I had been away from my babe in the evening (he's just under 9 months old). They were further astounded when I called dh after an hour and announced that I was about to leave so I could nurse the baby to bed. They discussed it amongst themselves--in front of me--and decided that dh must be dictating the terms to me, because surely I would not actually choose to leave early to nurse when I could be partying! One brave mama offered to go confront dh for me. I tried hard to convince her that dh and I really do make our parenting decisions together, and that I actually _wanted_ to be with my son! I'm not sure I succeeded.

Thank all the gods and goddesses for MDC. Sometimes I feel like a bruised and weary salmon, swimming up the culture stream.


----------



## peaceful_mama

I MADE IT TO THE END!! I have read EVERY stupid comment in this thread!!

And now I have to wonder WHY WHY WHY so MANY people want to feed utter CRAP to babies who do NOT 'miss' it because they don't KNOW what they are 'missing!'

I am going to the nutrition board to find out what 'nori' is exactly and where I might get it....I like that idea on the scrambled eggs and greens too for when DS is old enough that I can feed him eggs...and juice....but I don't HAVE a juicer to juice spinach!!


----------



## Amaryllis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *uuelisabeth*
Sometimes I feel like a bruised and weary salmon, swimming up the culture stream.

Copyright that!








We're all with ya here! And there are many more like us out there who just don't know about MDC yet!!! (I was one of them for a long time!)


----------



## Robin926

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Staraklaw*
Copyright that!








We're all with ya here! And there are many more like us out there who just don't know about MDC yet!!! (I was one of them for a long time!)

I loved that sentence too; it's so perfect!

And I was one of those who didn't know about MDC until very recently. I just joined two months ago, and DS is almost 11 months old. I became "crunchy" somewhere close to my 2nd trimester of pregnancy. It was seriously an overnight thing. In the beginning, I wanted an epidural, I swore baby would never sleep with us, I was going to breastfeed for exactly one year because that's what you're "supposed" to do, I never dreamed of cloth diapers. I did fancy slings though, seemed so convenient! Then I found a couple crunchy mamas online who were so well-read and eloquent that it inspired me to check into the things they were saying; I've never been the same! But it took me a while to find my way here, all the while being saddened and shocked by the things I was reading on all those mainstream boards. I weaned myself off over the last two months, and I haven't visited "those" boards for a few weeks now. I feel a ton better!

ON TOPIC







: The other day I was regaling the joys of babywearing to my pregnant friend, and she seemed slightly interested once I explained what it meant to "wear" my baby. But she wouldn't concede that it was ultimately more convenient than a stroller (I've never even used one!). She said, "Well, I'm sure there's times when a stroller would be better. Like, I don't know, on the sidewalk?"







:

Yeah, I"m sure getting a big clunky plastic thing out of the trunk (while holding a 22 pound baby), then strapping him in, and walking down a crowded sidewalk with this huge contraption without running into people is so much easier. To me, that's exactly when a sling is more convenient! You can maneuver anywhere in it. *sigh* I think I have a long way to go with her


----------



## shishkeberry

: It's so much easier to shop with a baby in the sling. You can maneuver around clothing racks without knocking over stuff or running into things. Of course I can't guarantee that my DS won't pull things off the shelves, but


----------



## saratchka

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zakers_mama*
I am going to the nutrition board to find out what 'nori' is exactly and where I might get it....I like that idea on the scrambled eggs and greens too for when DS is old enough that I can feed him eggs...and juice....but I don't HAVE a juicer to juice spinach!!

Nori is just seaweed. You can find it in asian markets and often in the asian section of larger grocery stores. It generally comes dried in sheets or strips. It's a bit salty, and actually very good with eggs and lots of other stuff, too.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *Robin926*
She said, "Well, I'm sure there's times when a stroller would be better. Like, I don't know, on the sidewalk?"

I thought my ILs were going to go into shock when I popped DD into her sling for a walk around the neighborhood. I tried it once with the stroller and didn't like it. We have a really hilly neighborhood, and it's much less work to walk with DD in the sling than to push that bloody stroller. I'm not anti-stroller, but I have yet to find myself in a circumstance that makes it anywhere near as convenient as her sling. DH still loves the baby bucket, though. It's weird, he has his own sling, which he loves to use at home, but when we're out, he wants to carry that clunky infant seat. What a nut! I guess it's okay as long as he's the one to carry it!


----------



## Aura_Kitten

yes, completely off topic now but i absolutely love nori.

kombu is pretty good too.


----------



## peaceful_mama

what's kombu? somoene on here said nori is a favorite of a few toddlers they know so I thought I might try it for DS............do they just eat it, do I have to do something with it, what?


----------



## indiana ima

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Robin926*
... She said, "Well, I'm sure there's times when a stroller would be better. Like, I don't know, on the sidewalk?"







:

well, for me there are many times when a stroller is more convenient than a sling, but I have three children -- not one.

i prefer a stroller when i want to have a place for DD2 to sleep while we are out and about with her brother and sister. if i nurse her to sleep at the park or the library or something, i can't just hold her for a hour long nap. i have books to read and accomplishments to supervise and clap for! and my middle kid always appreciates having a chance to sit on my lap.

i prefer a stroller when i need it to hold the (HUGE) diaper bag instead of throwing it over my shoulder. my diaper bag holds diapers for the two girls and changes of clothing for all three kids. my son may not wear diapers but he still has a knack for getting soaked or filthy when we are out!

my older two would rather hold on to the stroller than my hands when we cross the street. i think they feel a tad more grown-up -- or maybe they like being close to the baby.

most of our walks are short. from the parking space to the place we are going. so it is more convenient to pop her in the stroller for a moment than get the sling on and adjusted and her in it.

it is really, really HOT here lately. she doesn't want to be swaddled up right next to me and i don't really want that either. and my most comfortable carrier is a jersey knit! not a light and airy fabric!

when i start walking my son to and from school i will definitely need a stroller for both girls. it's a short walk, but it will still be too much for my three year old. i'd like to find a cheap used double stroller for this, but i can make do with stuffing them both in the old thing i have now, if i have to.

and, frankly, sometimes carrying that huge baby is too hard on my back. let alone carrying a 35/40 or so pound 3 year old along with the 20/25 pound 11 month old!!

but back when i only had one child, and i lived in a cute little tourist trap where i could walk to the bank / library / post office / park / etc., sure, i almost always just slung him.


----------



## Robin926

Quote:


Originally Posted by *indiana ima*
well, for me there are many times when a stroller is more convenient than a sling, but I have three children -- not one.

...where i could walk to the bank / library / post office / park / etc., sure, i almost always just slung him.

I don't live in a touristy town, but I do try to do things where I can walk from place to place. But yeah, I can see how having more than one kiddo to deal with would make it more complicated! I guess I came off way anti-stroller in my post! I just remember using my friends' strollers with their kiddos and it always seemed so clunky and hard to get in and out of places, especially shopping. We do have a stroller that was given to us (a "travel system" actually, but we already had a baby bucket car seat we'd bought ourselves too) but it's so huge I haven't used it. I do think when DS is old enough that he's too heavy for me (he's only 22 lbs right now), I'll get an umbrella stroller for times when it's too much walking for him.

Thanks for setting me straight, mama!


----------



## cequila

while in hospitalafter having dd2, a nurse told me "uh oh, spoiling her already, huh?" because i chose to have my hours old daughter sleep cuddled on my chest rather than in the plastic box provided...i just smiled and said yes.

then in another hospital after ds was born, i was sitting in bed nursing ds and my 2 1/2 yo dd asks to nurse. the nurse was in my room at the time and pipes in with "that's for the baby now, honey!" talk about insensitive! i wish i had thought of a snappy comeback, but i just hugged my daughter and told her she could nurse anytime she wanted to.


----------



## mollyeilis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zakers_mama*
what's kombu? somoene on here said nori is a favorite of a few toddlers they know so I thought I might try it for DS............do they just eat it, do I have to do something with it, what?

I believe that kombu is just another kind of seaweed, as is nori.

They both come fully prepared, no work needed. Sure, you could use the nori sheets to wrap rice and things in, DIY sushi, but my hubby just eats the sheets of nori plain.









DS had some veggie sushi (actually I should use the Korean word for it since my Korean MIL made it, but I can't remember what that word is!) and just snarfed the nori down. Loved it. Didn't look pretty coming out, but he had fun eating it.


----------



## mysticmomma

ladyelmo1 said:


> I have milk coming out of my areolas with this baby, didn't with my first. It doesn't shoot out like it does out of your nipples, it drips out of the glands in the areola (okay, I forgot the name of them, the bumps in your areola... someone help me!) Anyway, it oozes out slowly, so don't worry about drowning your poor baby if it happens. You should have seen my face the first time I noticed it! :LOL Shocked doesn't really cover it. I thought my boob was broken!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> :
> 
> Just wanted to throw out there... Montgomery's tubercles secrete a lub like substance. they are on the areola, and you may see some drippage while nursing. I would bet that's what you are seeing, not milk.


----------



## mweb

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mysticmomma*
Just wanted to throw out there... Montgomery's tubercles secrete a lub like substance. they are on the areola, and you may see some drippage while nursing. I would bet that's what you are seeing, not milk.

Sorry, mysticmomma, what does the word "lub" mean? It's 1 am here and I'm NAKing so apologies if I'm being dense. TIA!


----------



## boingo82

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mweb*
Sorry, mysticmomma, what does the word "lub" mean? It's 1 am here and I'm NAKing so apologies if I'm being dense. TIA!

I think she meant "lube", it is an oil that's secreted to help keep your nipples moist.


----------



## Ellp

MIL was helping to feed Dd some mashed bananas this past week and casually mentioned that babies can't taste anything, so you could feed them all sorts of things and they'd just gulp it down.









Uh huh, right lady. Just try giving Dd some pureed broccoli!


----------



## WinterBaby

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ellp*
MIL was helping to feed Dd some mashed bananas this past week and casually mentioned that babies can't taste anything, so you could feed them all sorts of things and they'd just gulp it down.









Uh huh, right lady. Just try giving Dd some pureed broccoli!


Maybe she was thinking of dogs :LOL They have far fewer tastebuds and rely heavily on scent







But if a baby can tell the difference between expressed milk and formula.. I wouldn't count on getting the same reception for pureed spinach that you get for bananas, lol. She DOES remember trying to feed babies, doesn't she??


----------



## catnip

I think the most damaging thing ever said to me was an IBCLC who told me in an offhand way that "some babies are just happy to starve." Understand, I have a marginally low supply, and my baby's weight gain had been on the bottom edge of normal for the first 10 weeks. I don't think she meant this to apply to my content, if skinny baby, but it shook my confidence and damaged our breastfeeding relationship, and caused me to feed formula supplements for several months, when I probably could have EBF with a little bit more support. That phrase still gives me nightmares.


----------



## Ellp

Their last baby was nearly 37 years ago. and yeah they do have 2 dogs.

Speaking of which I had to endure 3 days of ILs referring to the dogs (in reference to Dd) as "Uncle Caspar" and "Uncle Banjo". I was insulted on behalf of my real uncles, but I bit my toungue to preserve the peace.

Is this just me, or are other people sensitive to animals being referred to as "Aunts and Uncles"?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WinterBaby*
Maybe she was thinking of dogs :LOL They have far fewer tastebuds and rely heavily on scent







But if a baby can tell the difference between expressed milk and formula.. I wouldn't count on getting the same reception for pureed spinach that you get for bananas, lol. She DOES remember trying to feed babies, doesn't she??


----------



## kiwimutti

...mine, so far, has been...

while having a pap smear and struck by the image of daily life for him....i asked a dr/ obgyn why he chose to do _this_ (basically look at womens jinees all day and also deliver babies) as his profession...you know why?
...he told me "because i love







_surgery_" ....hmmm wow eh?

out of curiosity i then asked him how births usually go in that hospital...he told me (after telling me how they would "let" me do this and that)...that i would more than likely be getting an epidural just in case there were complications because if i ended up needing a c section he would only be able to do it if i was numb already because they have only one guy who can do the anethesia part...and he doesnt work all night...









i laughed out loud! and said "uh huh" and was thinking...ok, no! i can't be "normal"...i gave it an honest inquiry though. :LOL


----------



## kiwimutti

i just now read these from the first page...

Quote:


Originally Posted by *its_our_family*
I was told that letting him stand before 7 months would make him bow legged and that when he sat on the floor and rocked back and forth he had mental problems! Plus I had a dr tell me she thought he was deaf cause when she tapped the table by his head he didn't look for the noise!


Quote:


Originally Posted by *PumpkinSeeds*
My MIL said that by nursing my ds I was going to turn him into a homosexual.


...oh my! :LOL














:

ok...now im actually truely crying and have to stop reading these...







our poor world!


----------



## MelissaEvans

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kiwimutti*
...mine, so far, has been...

while having a pap smear and struck by the image of daily life for him....i asked a dr/ obgyn why he chose to do _this_ (basically look at womens jinees all day and also deliver babies) as his profession...you know why?
...he told me "because i love







_surgery_" ....hmmm wow eh?

I wonder how many OB's get into the field because of this. I would sure explain a lot!

Quote:

out of curiosity i then asked him how births usually go in that hospital...he told me (after telling me how they would "let" me do this and that)...that i would more than likely be getting an epidural just in case there were complications because if i ended up needing a c section he would only be able to do it if i was numb already because they have only one guy who can do the anethesia part...and he doesnt work all night...









i laughed out loud! and said "uh huh" and was thinking...ok, no! i can't be "normal"...i gave it an honest inquiry though. :LOL
I remember reading that they used to not allow VBAC's to have epi's becuase if there was UR, the extreme pain would be an indicator. So many woman decided for the repeat c/sec. Then I heard that one woman more recently was told she *had* to have the epi for the just-in-case c/sec. Odd how things change, and neither makes sense.


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kiwimutti*

while having a pap smear and struck by the image of daily life for him....i asked a dr/ obgyn why he chose to do _this_ (basically look at womens jinees all day and also deliver babies) as his profession...you know why?
...he told me "because i love







_surgery_" ....hmmm wow eh?


OK, i'm going to start a smiley parade so I don't start swearing...














:

















































:















































































OK, I"m done...

I really don't like doctors.


----------



## bluets

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cequila*
while in hospitalafter having dd2, a nurse told me "uh oh, spoiling her already, huh?" because i chose to have my hours old daughter sleep cuddled on my chest rather than in the plastic box provided...i just smiled and said yes.


Haha... when I refer to the plastic box, I call it the plastic cage (like the cages used in university animal labs).


----------



## Jadzia

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kiwimutti*
...mine, so far, has been...

while having a pap smear and struck by the image of daily life for him....i asked a dr/ obgyn why he chose to do _this_ (basically look at womens jinees all day and also deliver babies) as his profession...you know why?
...he told me "because i love







_surgery_" ....hmmm wow eh

Even worse, it says something that perhaps he was not good enough to become an actual surgeon. I understand that only the best doctors can go into surgery. That says a lot, like OB/Gyn was probably what he "settled" for.


----------



## mollyeilis

Well, the thing about OBs is that they are surgeons first and foremost. And it's just about the only area of surgery where the doctor can actually force the issue, can cause things that will cause likely surgery, can use incredible amounts of guilt to get the woman into the OR. Where a surgery for no reason is allowed and no one will allow anyone to question the surgeon (OK plastic surgery is usually totally elective, but even they come under fire in the mainstream sometimes).

For someone who wants to be a surgeon and do surgeries just about every day, it's the *perfect* job.

Ugh.


----------



## CABsMommy

Don't let a baby look up and above his/her head.

Ummm, why???

Pretty dumb!


----------



## indiana ima

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cequila*
while in hospitalafter having dd2, a nurse told me "uh oh, spoiling her already, huh?" because i chose to have my hours old daughter sleep cuddled on my chest rather than in the plastic box provided...i just smiled and said yes. ...

i just thought of a good response to this idiocy. "naww, she's spoiling me."

oh, and i think i have this thread to thank for a comment i've been using lately. people love to tell me i "have my hands full". (good gracious people, i only have three kids. it isn't that many! anyway -- back to my point.) when i think it works as a response, i like to say "and my heart, too".

the last person i responded to that way said "good one!"


----------



## Trinitty

We don't have babies yet.

But, for some reason my Dad brought up formula while talking with me on the phone. Probably warning us that it was expensive and that we should plan for it for when we do have children.

-----------------------------------------

Me: Oh, don't worry Dad, we won't be buying any of that stuff. (hopefully)
Dad: Well, what would you feed it?
Me: MILK.
Dad: Trinitty, babies can't just drink milk, I don't think it's that good for them.
Me: BREASTmilk DAD, BREASTmilk.

Silence.

Dad: From YOU?!

By this time, I'm totally baffled.

Me: Welllll, YES, Dad, where else would I get it? We ARE Mammals you know.
Dad: But, that's not good enough, it's deficient, you need to give them formula for the vitamins and minerals and stuff.
Me: Dad, don't be ridiculous.
Dad: They'll be malnourished!
Me: Well, it's a good thing that our ancient ancestors had formula for millions of years, our species never would have made it this far without it. (sarcasm dripping)

Silence.

Dad: Well, I don't think it's a good idea.
Me: Well, it's obvious that you don't really know anything about this.

Silence.

Me: Dad, it will be okay, don't worry.
Dad: Okay.

------------------------------------------

Whoa.

Now, my Dad is really really really smart.

Why on Earth would he think this way?

Because we've been conditioned to think this way. Sad.


----------



## Mummoth

My BIL is being made out to be a hero for standing up for my (selfish, bratty) sister in the hospital last week (I'm an Auntie!! YAY!!!) They requested a bottle of formula & instead of just going to get one, a nurse tried to convince my sister to try to nurse the baby. BIL said "We've had 9 months to think about this, she's NOT going to do it, GO GET A BOTTLE!!!" What a man!

Meanwhile, *my* DH has been villianized for standing up for (innocent, defenseless) DS when he was 2 days old in the middle of the night when I was (selfish, bratty &) ready to give up & was asking him to go get formula. He refused & said I could get it myself in the morning if I still wanted it. Of course, the crisis was over by then.

My poor neice hasn't had a single drop of breastmilk... no good reason... my sister just didn't wanna.


----------



## paquerette

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zakers_mama*
I used to work in a daycare. Six week old babies in our center were picked up for changing and bottles, and put back down in bouncy seat, crib, or swing for 2 more hours. Not necessarily because we WANTED To, but because we had FIFTEEN INFANTS and THREE adults!

Isn't that illegal? I thought the limit was two, maybe three infant per caregiver.


----------



## heathenmom

Depends on the state. In GA, the max ratio is 10 infants to 1 caregiver. Which is why dh is a sahd.


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heathenmom*
Depends on the state. In GA, the max ratio is 10 infants to 1 caregiver. Which is why dh is a sahd.

Wow. That's incredibly sad. Those poor babies


----------



## Aura_Kitten

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mummoth*
My BIL is being made out to be a hero for standing up for my (selfish, bratty) sister in the hospital last week (I'm an Auntie!! YAY!!!) They requested a bottle of formula & instead of just going to get one, a nurse tried to convince my sister to try to nurse the baby. BIL said "We've had 9 months to think about this, she's NOT going to do it, GO GET A BOTTLE!!!" What a man!


----------



## mollyeilis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Trinitty*
Me: Dad, it will be okay, don't worry.
Dad: Okay.

I think that's probably the best thing you can continue to tell him. It will be OK. Over and over.

And if that doesn't work I'll show you (to send to your dad) pictures of my babe who was exclusively b'fed (even now it's only about 10% solids) to just beyond 11 months.









Edited to add another thought. Every so often *I* am mystified and amazed and astounded by the fact that I can sustain another human's life! And I'm the one doing it! Superpower is right.







So, especially if you were FF, if he was FF, if he grew up hearing doctors and his mom and everyone talking about how breastmilk just wasn't enough (with no one thinking about the generations long ago), of course it's going to be even more mind-blowing to him...

"it's ok, dad".....

Oh, I could also sic my dad on your dad.







My dad's a HUGE lactivist (all 5 of his kids were breastfed until at least 2 years, with his two daughters going until at least 4 years old), and nearly yelled at me when Eamon was new and I was willing to go to the Denny's restroom just to get E latched on...the booth was too small. He refused to let me do that, got me a chair, put us with my back to the room, just made the whole thing very easy on me. I'm sure he could talk to your dad.


----------



## NYCVeg

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Trinitty*

Whoa.

Now, my Dad is really really really smart.

Why on Earth would he think this way?

Because we've been conditioned to think this way. Sad.

I wonder if this is in part a generational thing. For awhile, the medical establishment WAS promoting formula as a technologically superior alternative to "deficient" breastmilk (not that some doctor's don't still do this, but formula now isn't the "cutting edge", "wave of the future" thing it used to be). This seems like such an easy place to educate your dad. Send him a copy of the AAP statement on BFing and ProMom's 101 Reason's to BF (just do a search for it). ALL of the scientific evidence supports your side of the issue.


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## craftykitty

That breastfeeding is "nasty". The perfect comeback is "Yeah, it's WAY grosser than gloppy, powdered crap-in-can".


----------



## craftykitty

Quote:


Originally Posted by *indiana ima*
i just thought of a good response to this idiocy. "naww, she's spoiling me."

oh, and i think i have this thread to thank for a comment i've been using lately. people love to tell me i "have my hands full". (good gracious people, i only have three kids. it isn't that many! anyway -- back to my point.) when i think it works as a response, i like to say "and my heart, too".

the last person i responded to that way said "good one!"

















I can't believe that anyone would actually be able to put their brand new, fluffy, sweet-smelling babe in that bassinet instead of clinging to them for dear life! My youngest is 11 months old and I STILL can barely stand to put her down.


----------



## craftykitty

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PumpkinSeeds*
My MIL said that by nursing my ds I was going to turn him into a homosexual.

OMG. :LOL


----------



## bellyb

My mil and sil were visiting and I had to un out for an hour or so. When I got back my dd (14 mos) wanted to nure. She climbed in my lap and we just went about our business as usual. Everyone was sitting in the living room with us. My mil looks at me so disgusted and say "you're STILL doing THAT"
I just ignored her it was one o those things that just didn't even dignify a response.


----------



## limabean

I'm enjoying reading this thread -- it's hard to believe the things some people will say! When I was pregnant, everyone warned me that that would happen, but I really haven't experienced it. Every single person I've talked to has been supportive of my decision to breastfeed (I have a 10-month-old son), most even saying "Good for you" or something along those lines -- even people who have chosen to fomula-feed their babies have expressed nothing but a positive reaction about it. From what I'm reading here, I guess I'm lucky!









Also, I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt -- when people ask questions like "Is he sleeping through the night" they're usually just making conversation, not trying to be subversive and insinuate something negative about my parenting -- I just answer them instead of trying to make them feel stupid for asking.

This is a little OT, but I've read through lots of pages of this post and have laughed, gasped, etc when reading all the funny, rude, and just plain crazy stories. But a common comment I've noticed is people saying that they're tired of hearing other people's excuses for not breastfeeding. Some people say they'd have more respect if people came clean and said they just didn't want to do it, but then others chastise people for not having a good reason, just that they didn't want to. I'd guess that some formula-feeders feel like they have to "explain" their decision to breastfeeders precisely because of comments like the ones I keep reading here. You guys and I and the medical community know that breast is best, but if for whatever reason I didn't breastfeed, I'd be scared to share that fact with anyone because of the harsh judgemental reaction that many people have, and I might feel compelled to "explain" why I didn't do it. As much as other people's comments about our parenting decisions bother us, I'd think that we would be more sensitive when talking about other people's parenting decisions.


----------



## WinterBaby

I always respond to those breastfeeding/wearingpurple/having rainbow things will make a boy homosexual with "Well if it were that easy a lot more of us would be doing it"


----------



## mollyeilis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *limabean*
but if for whatever reason I didn't breastfeed, I'd be scared to share that fact with anyone because of the harsh judgemental reaction that many people have, and I might feel compelled to "explain" why I didn't do it. As much as other people's comments about our parenting decisions bother us, I'd think that we would be more sensitive when talking about other people's parenting decisions.


I can see how it seems that way. Can I explain it perhaps differently?

In my experience, say, sitting in the Mother's Room at BRU, if I'm sitting nursing my guy and someone comes in to change a dipe, they might look at me, turn away, and say something like "oh I tried that but my doctor said I couldn't take x drug and breastfeed". Another person might say "oh I tried that but my breasts were too small and cup size A can't b'feed". Another person later comes by and has another statement out of the blue, perhaps that baby was too big at birth and breastmilk wouldn't sustain it, or baby was too small and breastmilk was not enough... In no case have I started a conversation or asked, or done anything but do what I'm doing. People are just coming by with things things that, knowing all I know about breastfeeding, are most likely NOT true. Smaller-breasted women can and do nurse. There are many drugs compatible with nursing (but doctors don't know this and want to CYA). Breastmilk sustains big and small babies. There are women who can't, but the likelihood of all those women coming into the BRU Mother's Room in the same 30 minute span of time is very low.

So after day after day, week after week, and so on, of hearing these things when you know if they'd seen an LC, or had a knowledgeable mom, or had *you* around, that things might very well have been different, it all starts to sound like an excuse. And it's not like those people usually want to hear that their doctor told them wrong or knows nothing, that babies are perfectly fine with "only" breastmilk for absolute ages, and so on...those people are *usually* content "knowing" what they think they know and going on with their lives. So a person being told all these things either fights a losing battle or stays quiet and festers with anger towards doctors who say these things and women who believe them without researching at all...and that's hard to do.

Does that make sense? Help at all?


----------



## limabean

Hi mollyeilis -- thanks for your thoughtful post. Yes, everything you said makes perfect sense, and I can see how it would be annoying to hear those comments all the time. You're right, in situations where they weren't asked about it, they're probably just expressing their feelings of inadequacy and trying to justify their decision in their own minds because they feel guilty or something.

I guess I was thinking of a different situation, and that just like some of us hate being asked over and over again, "You're STILL doing that?" they probably hate being asked, "Are you breastfeeding?" because they feel like when they tell the truth the person who asked will be thinking all kinds of terrible things about their mothering abilities.

I don't know -- I know I'm rambling, I was just thinking that here we are saying all these things that bug us, most of which have to do with other people criticizing our parenting decisions, yet we're being pretty critical ourselves. I didn't mean to be so serious -- let me come up with a stupid thing that someone has said to me to lighten the mood back up .... hmmm .... okay, I have a couple!

My MIL told me not to let my son stand up in my lap when he was 3 months old because he'd become bowlegged.

My brother's FIL said, in a disapproving voice when my son was 2 months old and we were at a holiday gathering where my son only knew me and my mom, "Geez, you're one of those moms who just holds her baby all the time."

Sheesh -- some people!


----------



## mollyeilis

I've been trying to edit my post to add some other thoughts, but ack, my computer kept freezing!

You're not being too serious, not at all! Don't worry about that.









Ooh the infamous bowlegged comment. People think all sorts of things will cause that, don't they?

Just to quick finish my thoughts, the part of your question that I didn't touch was about people just saying "I didn't want to". And rather than try to type out what I've typed out twice and that's been lost, I'll keep it to this.

I'm the last of my college friends to have babies. They are all done. And I've watched each one "try" to breastfeed but either fail or quit very early. Each time they've had some *thing* to say about it, that they quickly generalize in some way..."oh babies don't need it after 9 months" or "no one can pump enough to exclusively feed a baby breastmilk and I have to work" or some other "if I can't do it no one can" statement. It's hard to be around them. It was before, and I've actually stopped trying now, because the judgement I get is immense.

And see, we're all here, sort of hiding out, talking about the things people say and do. But the people critizicing us? They are doing it in front of us, to our faces, without feeling bad about criticizing and judging another person's choices. That's a big difference IMO.

Anyway, I have one friend who has never wanted to breastfeed. She's the last of my relatively old friends who is yet to have babies. She has never wanted to nurse, and will likely never change her mind (though I do hold out hopes she'll see how great Eamon has done and decide to do it LOL). She had a breast reduction last year, and afterwards the doctors told her they tried to make sure her ducts were intact so she could breastfeed, and she basically told them they could have saved themselves the time and effort.







:

But you know what? She is *infinitely* easier to be around than the other friends! She doesn't judge me or say things to me about nursing Eamon. I do it in front of her much more easily than in front of the other friends. She doesn't have those notions that they were told, that they decided to believe, about extended or exclusive breastfeeding. I want to do it so I do it. She doesn't so she won't. It's a lot easier on both of us.

I had more thoughts but that would double this post length, and I want to brainstorm for anything anyone has said to me recently.


----------



## Jadzia

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mollyeilis*
I can see how it seems that way. Can I explain it perhaps differently?

In my experience, say, sitting in the Mother's Room at BRU, if I'm sitting nursing my guy and someone comes in to change a dipe, they might look at me, turn away, and say something like "oh I tried that but my doctor said I couldn't take x drug and breastfeed". Another person might say "oh I tried that but my breasts were too small and cup size A can't b'feed". Another person later comes by and has another statement out of the blue, perhaps that baby was too big at birth and breastmilk wouldn't sustain it, or baby was too small and breastmilk was not enough... In no case have I started a conversation or asked, or done anything but do what I'm doing. People are just coming by with things things that, knowing all I know about breastfeeding, are most likely NOT true. Smaller-breasted women can and do nurse. There are many drugs compatible with nursing (but doctors don't know this and want to CYA). Breastmilk sustains big and small babies. There are women who can't, but the likelihood of all those women coming into the BRU Mother's Room in the same 30 minute span of time is very low.

So after day after day, week after week, and so on, of hearing these things when you know if they'd seen an LC, or had a knowledgeable mom, or had *you* around, that things might very well have been different, it all starts to sound like an excuse. And it's not like those people usually want to hear that their doctor told them wrong or knows nothing, that babies are perfectly fine with "only" breastmilk for absolute ages, and so on...those people are *usually* content "knowing" what they think they know and going on with their lives. So a person being told all these things either fights a losing battle or stays quiet and festers with anger towards doctors who say these things and women who believe them without researching at all...and that's hard to do.

Does that make sense? Help at all?

ITA with all that you said.









I have noticed that it is a very similar reaction I often get when people find out I am a vegetarian. Without me saying anything at all, someone will say to me "Oh, I hardly eat any meat at all myself" or "I tried that once but I missed meat/got sick/wasn't able to cook"







I always wonder "Why are they trying to defend themselves to me when I never asked them about their choices?" I have finally come to conclusion that the people who are proactively defensive about things are the people who feel guilty. Their actions conflict with their values.

I find it funny because vegetarians, like lactivists, seem to have a reputation for being zealots who attack others and try to make others feel guilty. But in my experience it is always the other way around. The person who does the non-mainstream thing usually just quietly goes about their business, and it is others who make a big deal about it and go on the attack.

I am pretty die-hard about breastfeeding but knowing the "breastfeeding nazi" stereotype that exists, I always keep my mouth shut around formula feeders. It is so interesting to see how many will start to defend their choices and subtly tear down mine when I am just matter-of-factly nursing my baby or mention that I nurse.

It seems like it is okay for these people to say anything they want to you, but when you try to correct any misinformation they spout or simply defend your position, suddenly YOU are the crazy zealot who is preaching.







You can't win.


----------



## Aura_Kitten

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jadzia*
I have noticed that it is a very similar reaction I often get when people find out I am a vegetarian. Without me saying anything at all, someone will say to me "Oh, I hardly eat any meat at all myself" or "I tried that once but I missed meat/got sick/wasn't able to cook"







I always wonder "Why are they trying to defend themselves to me when I never asked them about their choices?" I have finally come to conclusion that the people who are proactively defensive about things are the people who feel guilty. Their actions conflict with their values.

um. just to address this ~ for me, i was vegan for about two years (vegetarian for a bit longer than that), and when someone says they're veg*n i generally tell them about how i used to be, but now i'm not... and i'm not being "proactively defensive." i'm just trying to relate to them.


----------



## Mummoth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jadzia*
But in my experience it is always the other way around. The person who does the non-mainstream thing usually just quietly goes about their business, and it is others who make a big deal about it and go on the attack.

It seems like it is okay for these people to say anything they want to you, but when you try to correct any misinformation they spout or simply defend your position, suddenly YOU are the crazy zealot who is preaching.







You can't win.









I agree.

I re-read my post & realize I'm coming across as highly critical of my sister, and I *do* think she's making a major mistake by not even giving breastfeeding a chance. She *does* know how I feel... I invited her to LLL the last few months of her pregnancy, etc... but the reason she knows I'm die-hard about breastfeeding is from when *I* was pregnant 4 years ago & when *I* had a newborn 3 1/2 years ago & I had to defend myself from all her ignorant comments "Ugh! I can't stand to watch that! It's like you're feeding him your *snot*" "It's rude of you to do *that* infront of us when *we* don't want to see it" "People should be arrested for doing *that* in public... it's just nasty." and on & on & on...

I haven't been calling her up this week & laying guilt-trips on her... I *have* made a few suggestions like: "I've heard that some mothers keep a bottle warmer on their nightstand & a cooler next to their bed, so they don't have to get up in the night" and when they were worried about bottles spoiling while they were out "Some moms measure powder into the bottles & carry a thermos with hot water, so they can mix it up right when they need it"

I am far, far too familiar with how it feels to be beaten down in the early days to do that (back) to my sister.


----------



## nhklh

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ellp*
I had to endure 3 days of ILs referring to the dogs (in reference to Dd) as "Uncle Caspar" and "Uncle Banjo". I was insulted on behalf of my real uncles, but I bit my toungue to preserve the peace.

Is this just me, or are other people sensitive to animals being referred to as "Aunts and Uncles"?

I have to say it doesn't bother me at all, but then I am a real "pet person". I refer to our pets as DS's puppy/kitty/feathered/turtle brothers.

DP has an old cat and her mother has always been his "nanna". Never occurred to me that anyone would be bothered by such things. Find them unusual or weird, yes, but be bothered, no.


----------



## Sierra

I usually refrain from doing so, but I sometimes feel like I have to justify bottlefeeding (my foster-to-adopt son... it wouldn't be legal for me to breastfeed him, even if I could get myself to produce milk). I want to be able to connect with others who are APing and practicing NFL, and I get really uncomfortable when I sense that someone might be judging me as a mommy when I have my baby boy's bottle out. I have no guilt, of course, since my baby boy isn't even technically "mine" yet and I never had the choice to breastfeed. But I still feel this urge to explain.

I live in a natural families kind of city, so not infrequently people look at me as if I am failing my kid. The first thing I want to do is tell the person that in fact I am a great mom and that if I could breastfeed I would and that I am waiting/hoping to adopt. Sometimes it just makes me feel hurt that someone would judge me, and it has been known to make me cry.

Which reminds me. The other day I was at Curcuit City waiting for a computer technician to finish troubleshooting a problem with my laptop. A man, who was probably not quite twice my age (I am relatively young) came in with his laptop. My dfs was getting hungry, so I got out a bottle I had all ready and started feeding him.

The man said, "What, did you try for a couple of months and just stop breastfeeding?!" with this sort of, "Why aren't you feeding your baby the *real stuff*?!" tone.

As far as I can remember, no one before has ever asked me-- they've just looked at me as if I am failing my kid-- and certainly no one has asked me with that tone. And I just felt like saying, "None of your business jerk!" He was very talkative and over the next thirty minutes offered me a number of bits of unsolicited parenting advice...ranging from "You should push your child into studying science when he goes to college," to "Rock him in a cradle board to put him to sleep" (I didn't ask this guy about sleep. This is just stuff he offered on his own. I didn't bother to tell him that dfs loves going to sleep in his sling.) So it must just be the way he is. But all day after that I went around wanting to tell every person I came across why my boy has a bottle. Of course, I didn't, but I did have the urge.

So I don't think it is always guilt.


----------



## Sierra

On a different note from my above post but somewhat related to this thread, there is this woman at church who tells me all the things she thinks I am doing wrong as a mom every time I see her. It usually is the only thing she will say to me. And it never fails. Every time.

Back when he was just a few weeks old, dfs wanted to suck but would only suck on my thumb. She saw me and said, "You aren't supposed to put your fingers in their mouths. It's very dirty..." (I obviously don't wash my hands when my baby wants to suck on them







...) "You are _supposed_ to use your knuckle," (which I had tried already, and which he hadn't liked at all BTW).

Well, last week one afternoon, dfs was overtired and was having a bit of a meltdown. It was a hot day but not outrageous (maybe in the high 70s or mid 80s). There was a memorial service happening inside, and those who had organized the service opened up all the windows and doors (which just makes the building hot-- the building is not air conditioned but stays amazingly cool indoors in the summer when the doors and windows are shut because of the way it is built). So it was pretty hot in the building. Since he was so tired, I went into the nursery, which was not at all as hot as the rest of the building, BTW. dfs was either naked or in just a onesie. I put him in his sling, and used a hand-held fan on us as I sat rocking him in a rocking chair. After a while, because he prefers to have his eyes covered when falling asleep, I decided to cover his eyes with a hood on a sweatshirt, which I just draped over him. He seemed happy to be this way, just not happy about being so exhausted. Believe me, when he is physically uncomfortable, he makes it very clear.

Sometime later he got tired of rocking and still wasn't alseep, so I took him for a brief walk in the hall. He continued to do his overtired cry. The woman I just told you about saw me and said, "No wonder he is crying. He is way too hot! Uncover the kid for goodness sakes! At least take that hood off him. I always see new parents with swaddled babies. You are not supposed to do that. You shouldn't swaddle them. Babies aren't like adults. They absorb heat. He will overheat if you wrap him up like that." I just sort of nodded and smiled and feabily responded. After she walked off, BTW, the hood fell off for a minute, and he started screaming bloody murder







.


----------



## mollyeilis

Sierra,

Oh my goodness, you do get your share of dingleberries talking to ya, don't you? (dingleberries is my new favorite swear word)

I think I'll post the rest of my thoughts, in response to your feelings, even though I'd previously decided not to.

It starts with a little bit of my history.

I'm a huge natural, normal, homebirth advocate. Always have been always will be (though there was a little blip in late May/early June). I didn't know the term, but I've always dreamed of UC. Hired midwives b/c hubby wanted me to. Augh, hired seriously idiotic dingleberries who wouldn't know a variation of normal (or prodromal labor, for that matter) if it bit 'em in the arse, and was walked right into a ridiculous, nonsensical, no reason whatsoever and the reasons I was given by the dang OB aren't even in my records 'cuz he's so embarrassed to have said 'em to me, surgical baby-arrival.

I am INCREDIBLY embarrassed, ashamed, all those other words for that feeling, by this. To the point where I'm fairly sure I'm going to lie to the next stranger who asks about his (I still have to put it in quotes) "birth". If someone doesn't have the time to hear the ENTIRE story, I'm not going to give them a sound-bite (OK except maybe you guys). I'm not going to leave them thinking "oh she needed the surgery" b/c I didn't, or "oh 4 days of labor, poor girl, I'm sure she won't do that 'natural' thing again" b/c I LOVED labor, even the heinous transition, and wish I'd just fired those idiots rather than follow them blindly to the hospital b/c of meconium "just in case", or any of those other things people tend to say when they only hear a minute of my story. Those who don't really want to know get to hear "waterbirth, lovely labor, yes it hurt but needles in my spine would be worse". Those who want to hear and have the time get the whole thing.

So. I like to think that if I were unable to nurse my babe, for whatever reason, that I would tell the whole story. Whether it's out of guilt or whatever emotion, I would. I don't want to leave someone hanging, don't want someone having the thought "oh see, it's really common, not being able to do it", which might affect their entire lives. I think I would want to tell them everything. So if we adopt in the future, as has always been our plan, and if we aren't allowed to breastfeed (don't know how it works with international adoptions; hubby is half Korean so we'd likely adopt from there, which I hear usually happens after baby is 10 months old or so) or if I just can't breastfeed a future baby, I think I would likely explain. I think I would likely tell a casual listener/watcher that it's EBM. If they have the time and the interest, though, I would explain all I went through.

But the people that randomly say these things...they are not you!

They aren't the women from MDC who tried and tried and researched and worked her butt off to nurse her baby! They are the ones who look at someone breastfeeding and just flat-out say "oh doctor said I couldn't do that" and they don't mention a word about the LCs they saw, the research they did, how they tried with an SNS or whatever.

It's just SO diminishing of breastfeeding, so exhausting, to hear person after person say their one sentence explanations (OK, yours could be one sentence, sorry) with no reflection of their ever questioning what was told them...so it really does make a person think "it must just not have mattered to them." Because no matter who or how many people told me that it wasn't possible for me (except in a legal situation, of course), I would be doing the legwork and the research to make sure someone else's agenda and/or wasn't being put on me.

Whew! I'm a bit fluffy-brained tonight, and if this doesn't make sense...well, you've already read to here so, sorry.









The women who know it's important, who know it matters...they aren't the ones randomly coming up to people giving one-liners about whatever they were told. And if people like me do by chance lump someone in a group in our heads...I'm sorry.







Just by your presence here you've reminded judgmental (but quiet IRL) people like me that the people at the mall or wherever might be the exceptions, and so people like me can just keep our eyes and our sighs to ourselves. Still might complain about it in generalizations in a safe place, but I do know there are exceptions.

I hope that helps, it's really meant to.







:


----------



## limabean

mollyeilis: FWIW, I have a friend who has adopted two daughters from Korea, one at age 3 months and one at age 5 months. Good luck to you and your hubby! My friend has had an incredibly rewarding experience with it.

I'm sorry to hear that your baby's birth didn't go the way you had hoped. I had a difficult labor, too, and the doctors and nurses "threatened" me with c-section every time they walked into the room ... "If you don't dilate faster we're going back for a c-section." "If your contractions don't improve we're going back for a c-section." "If you don't push the baby out in the next 20 minutes we're going back for a c-section." Not exactly motivating words!!!







:

The poster who said that people who get defensive when asked questions have conflict between their morals and their actions (or something to that effect) -- good point. It's not that the choice itself is "good" or "bad," but your internal reaction to the choice and to other people's comments about the choice is a good barometer for whether it's right *for you*.

There was a really good scene on Six Feet Under a few weeks ago where a young woman (Claire for those of you who watch it) and her aunt (Sarah) were discussing whether Claire was "really" an artist. Sarah said, "Maybe you aren't really an artist" and Claire got angry. Sarah said, "Did it hurt your feelings when I said that?" Claire said yes and Sarah said, "Maybe it's true then. If it weren't true maybe you would have laughed. If someone told me I was purple I would laugh, because I know it's not true."

I've been thinking a lot about that lately, and have started chuckling at people's silly comments instead of trying to justify myself -- I figure, I'm thrilled with my choices and my baby is a sparkling, thriving bundle of energy and happiness







, so if someone has a problem with the way I do things, then I'll let them have their problem and my baby and I will just continue on our merry way.







:


----------



## indiana ima

Quote:


Originally Posted by *limabean*
... Sarah said, "Maybe you aren't really an artist" and Claire got angry. Sarah said, "Did it hurt your feelings when I said that?" Claire said yes and Sarah said, "Maybe it's true then. If it weren't true maybe you would have laughed. If someone told me I was purple I would laugh, because I know it's not true."

"but aunt sarah, you have no emotional investment in not being purple."


----------



## shelley4

:

and raising your kids is a pretty big emotional investment, no?


----------



## limabean

Quote:


Originally Posted by *shelley4*







:

and raising your kids is a pretty big emotional investment, no?

Yes, a huge emotional investment. But that still doesn't mean that silly comments can't be taken as just that: silly. For me, it goes back to this statement made earlier by Jadzia: "I have finally come to conclusion that [for] the people who are proactively defensive about things ... their actions conflict with their values." We typically don't get upset unless something strikes an emotional chord with us. Yes, there are things people can say that are truly hurtful no matter what your position on the subject, but most comments are simply ignorance or set-in-their-ways-ness, and don't cause much emotional upheaval for me.

I have a coworker who constantly tells me how to do things with my son (I jokingly refer to her as my MIL because she acts like the stereotypical one), and although it can be exasperating, it's really quite funny because I *know* I'm doing an awesome job with my son, and her disapproval doesn't mean anything to me.


----------



## shelley4

you know, sometimes i can laugh it off, especially things that are so far fetched or come from uneducated people, or older people (different generation and all), like don't put your arms above your head while preggo, cause you'll strangle your baby and whatnot.

what i don't appreciate is people that i know/love that i have to see on a regular basis, that constantly critize my parenting choices. if it were just one dumb comment, one time, then whatever. but even if you disagree with my parenting practices, doesn't mean you have to open your big mouth whenever you see me! i can handle the disagreement, i can't handle the constant critizism.

i just wish that sometimes, people would understand that i really, really love my kids, and want to do what's best for them. so i don't make quick, spur of the moment decisions. most things are thought out over a period of time, and i would never do something if i thought it would harm them. there is alot of thought and care that go into those big decisions. and respect that.

also, i try not to critize other parent's choices (well, at least, to thier face and try to make them feel bad)


----------



## limabean

Oh! I thought of another one! (This is from the coworker I call my MIL







)

We met the other day and I had my son (10 months old) with me. He had his cup of water with a straw sitting on his stroller tray and would occasionally pick it up and take a sip. She looked at him and said, "You're giving him *water*?" I thought she was implying that it was too early for him to have liquids other than breastmilk, so I said, "Yeah, but I measure out 4 ounces in the morning so that I know he doesn't get more than that during the day." She said, "Well, *I* gave my kids half water/half juice in their cups." Uh ... okay ... so now I'm doing my son a disservice by not letting him go around all day with sugar in his cup? :LOL


----------



## Annie

Yah some people have this crazy idea that juice is good for kids and somehow better than water. Yah all that sugar, food coloring and maybe a few artificial vitamins of dubious absorbability and most likely lacking any real value. Yah that's better than water. Sure. My mom was actually trying to tell me juice was good for kids! And she wasnt talking white grape, but cool aid! That explains alot about my childhood.


----------



## Mama Rana

Doncha know that Kool-aid is fortified with lots of good stuff!


----------



## jenP

Quote:


Originally Posted by *limabean*
Oh! I thought of another one! (This is from the coworker I call my MIL







)

We met the other day and I had my son (10 months old) with me. He had his cup of water with a straw sitting on his stroller tray and would occasionally pick it up and take a sip. She looked at him and said, "You're giving him *water*?" I thought she was implying that it was too early for him to have liquids other than breastmilk, so I said, "Yeah, but I measure out 4 ounces in the morning so that I know he doesn't get more than that during the day." She said, "Well, *I* gave my kids half water/half juice in their cups." Uh ... okay ... so now I'm doing my son a disservice by not letting him go around all day with sugar in his cup? :LOL

Oh yes, don't you know you are starving your kids if they don't drink several cups of juice a day. Not to mention all the cow's milk they "need!"
Water! Oh those poor deprived kids!

Jen


----------



## Shenjall

yes my kids are deprived too 'cause they take water for their school lunches instead of the canned pepsi or coke my mother wants to give them.







:

when did water become so unhealthy?


----------



## pjlioness

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shenjall*
yes my kids are deprived too 'cause they take water for their school lunches instead of the canned pepsi or coke my mother wants to give them.







:

when did water become so unhealthy?

Well, when you have numerous commercials saying that the only way to be cool/have fun is to drink pop/other junk drinks, not to mention the ones telling you that only parents who really love their kids take them to McD's and give them Lunchables, you get people who really believe that kids are being deprived of something if they don't consume those products.

My FOL







is IN advertising, and even he and MOL don't get it, though they think they are above it somehow and not affected by it. Hah!


----------



## la mamita

Quote:

when did water become so unhealthy?
Yesterday I heard someone say that water is just empty calories.

Empty OF calories? yes. Full of empty calories? Um, not quite. :LOL


----------



## Aura_Kitten

Quote:


Originally Posted by *la mamita*
Yesterday I heard someone say that water is just empty calories.

Empty OF calories? yes. Full of empty calories? Um, not quite. :LOL


:LOL


----------



## Rhiannon Feimorgan

I had a realy good (or bad) one today!

Mom at playgroup seeing that my dd is in cloth diapers:

"I know it's supposed to be good for the environment but I can't see it with all that poop and pee going down the drain, that can't be good"

Me:







: "Into the sewer, the same place the toilet goes?!?"


----------



## MelissaEvans

I'm expecting #2 so of course, everyone has to ask if we're going to find out the gender. Sometimes I tell them, "Of course, in Feb, when the baby's born!" and other times I just tell them no. If I'm feeling real brave, I'll comment "It's hard to find out since I'm not doing any u/s." One lady commented "I thought you *had* to!" I'm not sure who the mandatory u/s enforcer is or what the consequence would be for not having it done, but it amused me. I guess declining any test/intervention a doctor "recommends" has never crossed her mind.


----------



## Queen of Cups

We didn't find out the gender with last pregnancy or this one, and when people ask I just say, "Oh, we're not finding out. It makes you push harder!" Cracks them up every time! One of my friends said that to me years ago and its just the perfect response.


----------



## shannon0218

We did know the gender but very few people were told. They'd ask me what I was having and I'd say "Well, we're hoping for a baby but a puppy would be ok too!"


----------



## Rhiannon Feimorgan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *shannon0218*
"Well, we're hoping for a baby but a puppy would be ok too!"

ROTFLMAO!!!


----------



## tdoreenb

Geez, I was away from the thread for a few weeks and it grew by twenty pages







!

Well, I gonna add a gem I got from my dear sweet younger sister (36 y.o.). She's a wonderful person but sometimes I forget how different we are. Anyway, we were driving around together and got to talking about babies and the stuff people do for them. I start getting comfortable about my beliefs--breastfeeding til the littles ones wean themselves, cloth diapering, and of course, keeping my boys intact.

Now, I'll be the first to admit I'm a bit naive in that I just everybody can see the logic of all of the above :LOL. Not my sis, she's conceeded to breastfeed 'cause it'll help her lose weight. She'll cloth diaper if it's not to much of a hassle. We got into it over circ.

She believes in circ 'cause intact penises are "ugly." So, I told her that it's basically non-medically necessary mutilation and why would anyone cut off a part of her child? My sister replies with a straight face--it's her child and she can cut any part of them off that she sees fit!







. I'm truly glad she's not pregnant and not yet involved in a relationship that could lead to kids. I did learn the valuable lesson of keeping my parenting beliefs to myself around her.


----------



## MelissaEvans

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tdoreenb*
She believes in circ 'cause intact penises are "ugly." So, I told her that it's basically non-medically necessary mutilation and why would anyone cut off a part of her child? My sister replies with a straight face--it's her child and she can cut any part of them off that she sees fit!







. I'm truly glad she's not pregnant and not yet involved in a relationship that could lead to kids. I did learn the valuable lesson of keeping my parenting beliefs to myself around her.

Or maybe, giving her time to warm up to the idea now before she hurts a little boy (and would it be OK to cut of a daughter's clitoris? for crying out loud...).


----------



## ian'smommaya

if someone would have told me all the dangers, mistakes, and awfulness of cir'cing boys i wouldn't have done it. i know that ignorance isnt an excuse, but...
maya


----------



## soccerchic21

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tdoreenb*
My sister replies with a straight face--it's her child and she can cut any part of them off that she sees fit!

I'm sorry little Johnny I told the doctor to cut your left arm off because darnit I am your mother and I can have any part of your body cut off that I see fit.








:


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## lisab3

My son has a cleft lip & palate. I am amazed at peoples reaction.
A little girl in line asked her mom what was wrong w/ his lip. The mom shushed her and kept repeating, "don't say anything".

Sometimes its not what people say, but what they do. I take my son out in his sling and people will walk up to look at him and turn around and walk away.

I am looking for a new pediatrician because mines a dumb a**. I told him I was pumping and everytime I see him he insists I am going to dry up soon. He thinks cloth diapers are gross. He thinks I should feed the baby less because he is gaining more weight then he thought he should.

My old boss, a women w/ two young girls, asked me if I was having twins. I told her no and she laughed and said, you are huge for having just one. This was infront of a bunch of co-workers.


----------



## soccerchic21

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lisab3*
My old boss, a women w/ two young girls, asked me if I was having twins. I told her no and she laughed and said, you are huge for having just one. This was infront of a bunch of co-workers.

Oh I hate that comment. I got it a lot when I was pregnant with DS.


----------



## Annie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tdoreenb*
My sister replies with a straight face--it's her child and she can cut any part of them off that she sees fit!

that sounds exactly like my younger sister, but she was holding her newborn baby at the time! I tried to educate her about circ, but she wouldnt listen and was almost like 'it's my baby and i'll do what i want nya nya nee boo boo'







nevermind that she's had less than three months to read up on babies and kids, and had never even held a baby before. That's right, she didnt even realize she was pregnant till she was 7.5 months! And she knows dh and I have been trying for over three years, and i've been reading all kinds of stuff the entire time.







:


----------



## Baby Makes 4

Wow! It's going to take me months to get through this thread, I've be reading for a week and I'm on page 20!

I've had some doozies over the last few years of TTC, being pregnant and having our little one around. Here are a few I remember (with my responses in italics)

After our first m/c when I was in my last year of college:
"It's a good thing you lost the baby, don't you realize you would have been 8 months pregnant during exams?"
_Oh no, God forbid I'd having something happy in my life during exam time_

After our 3rd m/c last September:
"Maybe you two just aren't meant to have more babies, you could save your money and buy a boat instead!"
_A boat? As a replacement for babies?_

While I was pregnant:
"You want to have your baby at home? Isn't that unsanitary?"
_Don't you realize how many sick people there are in the hospital? We were told during the hospital tour not to walk barefoot and then put our feet in the bed because we could bring deadly bacteria onto our sheets_

"I've always though pregnant women were really sexy, I notice you aren't wearing a wedding ring, are you single?" (From the guy ringing my groceries through)
_Ummm ... thanks, I'm happily married actually_
"Oh, would you like to have coffee some time?"







:

"Did you know that if you tear while you are giving birth that the midwife won't sew you up and then you'll either bleed to death or have a really big you-know-what for the rest of your life!"
_I didn't even have a response for this level of stupidity_

Since we've had the baby
"Aren't you afraid that you'll roll over on the baby?"
_When's the last time you fell out of bed?_

"You had your baby in the hottub??? Ewwwwwwwwww that's sooooooo grossssss"
_Geez, it's not like I went to the public pool and we cleaned the tub out the next morning_

In reference to BF "You can't do that at church!!!"
_What do you think Jesus ate? Don't worry I won't wave my breasts in the minister's face._

Oh there are so many more but I have to go feed my wee one now


----------



## janerose

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Annie*
that sounds exactly like my younger sister, but she was holding her newborn baby at the time! I tried to educate her about circ, but she wouldnt listen and was almost like 'it's my baby and i'll do what i want nya nya nee boo boo'







nevermind that she's had less than three months to read up on babies and kids, and had never even held a baby before. That's right, she didnt even realize she was pregnant till she was 7.5 months! And she knows dh and I have been trying for over three years, and i've been reading all kinds of stuff the entire time.







:

Just wanted to give you a







. We tried for 5 years before conceiving dd. The only plus I can find to all that time is I feel it's made us *much* better parents. If I'd had dd right away when we started ttc I would have been very mainstream & had a lot less patience with her.

Holly


----------



## soccerchic21

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Baby Makes 4*
"Did you know that if you tear while you are giving birth that the midwife won't sew you up and then you'll either bleed to death or have a really big you-know-what for the rest of your life!"
_I didn't even have a response for this level of stupidity_


Just recently a friend of mine who has never had any children thought that after you pushed a baby out of your vagina that it would stay that big forever. Her and another friend were wondering how in the heck they would ever enjoy sex again after having babies.

I enlightened her and told her that I have never had better sex after having a baby.


----------



## Annie

aww thanks sweety







, it realy does help alot to hear that, really, there are tons of times I want to give up.even my mom and the above mentioned sister have given up because 'its' been so many years'


----------



## janerose

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Annie*
aww thanks sweety







, it realy does help alot to hear that, really, there are tons of times I want to give up.even my mom and the above mentioned sister have given up because 'its' been so many years'











It is sad that they are so negative. MOST women who have infertility will conceive eventually, and even if you don't there are so many wonderful options to parent through adoption. I will not tell you to just stay positive, because that doesn't really help when you're at the end of your rope, but I will say to follow your heart and your instincts. Please feel free to pm me if you need support or want to vent.

Holly


----------



## adensmom

Oh dumb things, there were more than a few. The one that p#[email protected]*# me off the most was when I was pregnant, I never really showed until the last two months. So many people would say "oh, my God you're seven and a half months? That must be a really small baby, isn't that bad?" Ds was 8 pounds at birth. I'm just tall. A woman who gave a hoot what other people said might have been really frightened by those comments.
Also, a woman commenting about my uncircumcised boy. "Isn't that like really nasty? Won't it be cheesy and nobody will want to have sex with him?"
That woman I ripped into "It's all about cleaning yourself, darling, I'd say your blank is some kinda smelly too, when you don't wash it right." She left the party pretty quickly after that.


----------



## mollyeilis

"I never really showed until the last two months. So many people would say "oh, my God you're seven and a half months? That must be a really small baby, isn't that bad?" Ds was 8 pounds at birth. I'm just tall. "

And I got the opposite. I'm 63 inches tall (5'3"), and baby turned out to be 22 inches long. (At 15 months he's over half my height already.) I say he was folded in thirds, and where else was my belly supposed to go, but OUT?


----------



## nepenthesea

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MelissaEvans*
I'm expecting #2 so of course, everyone has to ask if we're going to find out the gender. Sometimes I tell them, "Of course, in Feb, when the baby's born!" and other times I just tell them no. If I'm feeling real brave, I'll comment "It's hard to find out since I'm not doing any u/s." One lady commented "I thought you *had* to!" I'm not sure who the mandatory u/s enforcer is or what the consequence would be for not having it done, but it amused me. I guess declining any test/intervention a doctor "recommends" has never crossed her mind.

Honestly, until I started looking into all of this, I thought you had to have the u/s and other tests, also. I only know one person besides my mom who has had a midwife-assisted birth, so I didn't know if I would HAVE to have to u/s or not. It's just so common it doesn't cross your mind. My family just doesn't know what to think, because I'm not having all of those typical tests and stuff done









Shannon0218, we're not going to find out the gender, either. When people start asking what we're going to have, I'm going to tell them a baby penguin! I keep seeing ads for "March of the Penguins" and those babies are sooooooo cute!! I want one!


----------



## mamalisa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nepenthesea*
Shannon0218, we're not going to find out the gender, either. When people start asking what we're going to have, I'm going to tell them a baby penguin! I keep seeing ads for "March of the Penguins" and those babies are sooooooo cute!! I want one!










When I was pregnant with ds we told everyone as long as it wasn't a peguin we would be happy with whatever sex baby we got. Dh's best friend got ds a Beanie Baby peguin that is still his favorite little toy


----------



## ramlita

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lisab3*
My son has a cleft lip & palate. I am amazed at peoples reaction...
Sometimes its not what people say, but what they do. I take my son out in his sling and people will walk up to look at him and turn around and walk away.









That's awful! What is wrong with people??


----------



## ramlita

Quote:


Originally Posted by *adensmom*
Also, a woman commenting about my uncircumcised boy. "Isn't that like really nasty? Won't it be cheesy and nobody will want to have sex with him?"
That woman I ripped into "It's all about cleaning yourself, darling, I'd say your blank is some kinda smelly too, when you don't wash it right." She left the party pretty quickly after that.










OMG!
I hope I have your ovaries if I ever get confronted by someone that obnoxious!!! :LOL


----------



## mandalamama

i'm not sure if this qualifies as a dumb thing anyone's said, but i think the bias and assumptions *behind* it might be just plain dumb. everywhere we go, people are always amazedly saying, "she's so active!" "she's so alert!" "wow look at her eyes, she's so smart!" and i keep thinking, "uh yeah, that's what babies do!" but then i've looked carefully at other babies her age in the store, and i chat up other mamas sometimes to ask age, name, etc. and it does seem that a LOT of 11-month-olds are still stuck in baby buckets, or in umbrella strollers, rather than allowed to sit up in the cart themselves. (Willow's been sitting up in the cart since 6 months old! i have a fluffy padded cart liner, she loves being able to look around, and to "help" mama by holding things.) i'm also seeing a lot of babies Willow's age just slumped in strollers with a binky, or worse, left crying









so i guess it IS unusual for a baby to be bright and alert and active?? duhhhh, since when??


----------



## WendyC

I just found this board and read the first three pages and then skipped to the end - OMG! 108 pages of stupid people saying stupid things?! Wow. I don't know why I am suprised.

Here is my entry - I don't know if anyone else posted this, I don't have time to read all of them! lol!

Ella is carried in my sling most of the time and at one fancy pants film party we went to recently a older lady came up to us and said "You know she is going to end up bow-legged if you keep her in that thing!"


----------



## sarahspins

I'm a lurker and I haven't read everything (only to about page 60!) but I have one to add...

DD was about 3 weeks old, and we were all out together having lunch, and after we all ate and while we were waiting to pay, DD started to get fussy, so I discreetly hiked up my shirt and started nursing her (this wasn't my first time NIP, but it was my first time in front of DH) and he had the nerve to say "I thought _we_ agreed you wouldn't do _that_"... I didn't even know how to reply, I just gave him a blank stare and said "what was I supposed to do?" but all I can think of now is "uh, yeah, you TOLD me you didn't want me to, but since when have I ever _listened_ to you?!!" Ugh - men! Nevermind that HE didn't notice me latching her on (he only noticed once she was nursing) and he was sitting right there... how on earth was ANYONE else going to notice.. or care? Ugh, men!


----------



## bravofrenchie

Quote:

"I thought we agreed you wouldn't do that"...
Um... F-ing ex_cuse_ me?! Oooh, DH _knows_ better than to say something like that to me.

(BTW, welcome to the board, easterbun!)


----------



## turtlemama77

I've been reading these for three days already, and just wanted to add a couple of mine.

dh's aunt told me that I should start leaving dd with lots of different babysitters so she will get over being so shy. dd was 7 months at the time and just starting to get a little stranger anxious, but I doubted dumping her with lots of different sitters would help that!

dd doesn't out and out cry when she needs something. She makes kind of an "uh uh uh" noise that I know means she needs something. When dd started doing that while being held by the same aunt, I went to take dd back. The aunt said, "Oh she's not even crying, she's fine." I insisted on taking dd back, and the aunt said dd was spoiled.

dd has always been a snacker when it comes to bfing, so it seems like she's always eating. So I get "are you feeding her AGAIN??" all the time.

Sheri
Reese (12-22-04)


----------



## Cullens_Girl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *turtlemama77*
dd has always been a snacker when it comes to bfing, so it seems like she's always eating. So I get "are you feeding her AGAIN??" all the time.

I was one of the first in my family to breastfeed - when I had cousins that followed suit, everyone was always talking to me about how "hungry" those other babies were and how they were always eating... they most have no milk, etc. They weren't around me nearly as much so they had no idea how much CJ really ate... I calmly explained to them that's what babies do for the first few months- they eat, sleep and poop. LOL


----------



## Bennifer

turtlemama, my ds also doesn't start to cry right away...kind of makes a sniffing sound and that's how we know he needs something. my mil heard him make this sound, so my dh went to get him from fil, and mil said, "oh, he doesnt even get a chance to cry!"







:

another mil comment (I do love her though!)--I was talking about how ds cried in his carseat, so I pull over, take him out and calm him and she said, "well if you keep doing that he's going to learn that if you cry you're going to take him out of that seat!" Again,







: And that's a bad thing??

I also get lots of looks when carrying ds in the sling...one man said, "does the baby like that?" Um, no, he hates it and that's why I put him in there!!


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mellybean*
i'm not sure if this qualifies as a dumb thing anyone's said, but i think the bias and assumptions *behind* it might be just plain dumb. everywhere we go, people are always amazedly saying, "she's so active!" "she's so alert!" "wow look at her eyes, she's so smart!"

so i guess it IS unusual for a baby to be bright and alert and active?? duhhhh, since when??

A good response to those comments, is "why thank you!" All of the new babies in our family have been active and alert since day one. I only get to see them once a month or so and *everytime* I make some comment about how much more alert and active they seem, because they are a lot more alert and active each month. So while I daresay 90% of the comments are coming from from people who've only been exposed to bucket-babies, some of the comments might be from people who are used to active and alert 6-month olds, compared to which an 11-month old is uber-intelligent.


----------



## ramlita

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Rhiannon Feimorgan*
I had a realy good (or bad) one today!

Mom at playgroup seeing that my dd is in cloth diapers:

"I know it's supposed to be good for the environment but I can't see it with all that poop and pee going down the drain, that can't be good"

Me:







: "Into the sewer, the same place the toilet goes?!?"

Mystifying.
So she has no problem throwing single-use diapers full of raw sewage into the trash to be land-filled??


----------



## Luvmyboyz

When I was pregnant with #2 I had horrible morning sickness and my extremely religious neighbor told me she was praying that the baby would stop jumping around in my belly because that is what causes the morning sickness! And she should know, she had seven kids. I thanked her for her prayers, though they didn't seem to work :LOL


----------



## Luvmyboyz

Quote:


Originally Posted by *easterbun*
(this wasn't my first time NIP, but it was my first time in front of DH) and he had the nerve to say "I thought _we_ agreed you wouldn't do _that[/I
_
_
_
_

Sorry, Mama! Hopefully he will come around. The first time I nursed ds1 in public, dh looked around all sheepish and asked me, "Is that LEGAL?" :LOL
Now after lactating for four years, the same man who asked me if it was legal DEMANDS that I NIP to shut our kiddos up!_


----------



## elmh23

A real jem I remember from conversations with my SIL (who has four kids) when I was either newly pregnant, or no where near pregnant:

Don't nurse your last kid because that makes your boobs go away.

She had four kids, nursed the second for 7months, and the last two for 15 months (though supplemented for the heck of it with kiddo number 4.) But she swears up and down that that nursing, not the fact that she was pregnant 4 times, is what caused her boobs to be smaller than they were before her 1st. Also, she was 17 with her first and 27 when her last was born. Don't boobs change a lot between 17 and 27 with or without nursing/pregnancy?


----------



## RedPony

Quote:


Originally Posted by *elmh23*
Don't boobs change a lot between 17 and 27 with or without nursing/pregnancy?

Mine sure did!







I've never been pregnant, and the twins seems to have a life of their own when it comes to size. :LOL


----------



## boingo82

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RedPony*
Mine sure did!







I've never been pregnant, and the twins seems to have a life of their own when it comes to size. :LOL

Yep, they do their own thing, and you just have to support them through it!


----------



## Thursday Girl

'your butt is huge" to a 6 month pregnat woman who is carrying her second child. Then she drew a picture to illustrate how it is wide, flat, and how my hips seem to poke out more then the rest of my legs./

yes yes i love my sister
then she siad

"are you still nursing Jewely?"

i said "is that any of your buisness? Do you need to know what my child is eating?"
she said
"you ask me about food, you ask what i am having for dinner"

I told her (and i am mighty proud of it)
"yeah that's when i want to eat over. Do you want to have some breastmilk?" :LOL


----------



## Sierra

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mellybean*
i'm also seeing a lot of babies Willow's age just slumped in strollers with a binky









In fairness, it could have been me and my baby you saw today







. We went dowtown to meet some folks for lunch and dfs was really sleepy and just zoning in his car seat. He had his binky because he uses it when he is sleepy.

From experience I know that if I move him when he is in that state, even if it is into the nice comfy sling, it just makes him cry and be miserable. Plus with my back injury, we had too far to walk for me to sling him the whole time. Of course, I would have slung him if that was going to make him happy. But it wasn't, so I wrapped the sling around the stroller handle, fixed his car seat onto his travel system stroller, and pushed him to lunch. He was quite content but so sleepy and zoned that all the other natural mamas around probably thought he looked unhappy or "slumped." But I know my baby best.

When we got to the cafe he saw the folks we were having lunch with and got excited to see them, so I knew he'd want to come out. He got to sit with a couple different people all through lunch and loved it, but then after lunch seemed to want the vantage point he gets from the car seat, so I let him go back in. I just follow his lead. Now we're back home and he is sleeping snuggly in my arms.

But I too hate seeing babies crying in their car seats and strollers, while the parents just continue about their business without even making eye contact or talking to the baby. I really mind hearing babies cry without being comforted or at least *heard.*

Oh, and I also get comments about how alert and curious dfs is, and it always makes me feel really good. We have all kinds of reasons to be concerned that he might start having developmental delays, primarily because both his bio parents have delays. So when people tell me how alert and curious he looks, it gives me a sense of comfort that at least for now he is developing normally.


----------



## TzippityDoulah

5.5 yrs ago when my firstborn was born I made the mistake of going to stay wiht my parents for a few weeks to get some extra help. (not) and well turns out she worried me none stop. convinced everything I did was killing the baby. and that most of his problems (any crying) was something in my breastmilk. (everything was my poor BM's fault!) maybe we should be feeding him formula... etc.
anyhow he was acting fussy for like two days (mild case of newborn reflux) and my mother actually had me convinced I need to take him to the emergency room. why you ask? well I had an infected toe (ingrown toenail) and she was convinced the infections was goign thru my breastmilk and causing him to get dealthy ill. I kid you not. $185.00 and a bunch of laughing doctors later, I walked out of there.

needless to say I got a proper reprimand from my ped. about bringing a healthy baby to a very sick place.

I've never listened to a word of advice she's given me since, and she honestly doesn't understand why.

a few days ago she was holding my 10 mos old for a min. she complains all of the itme b/c Eva is so active. she says she cant watch her for me ever b/c she "wiggles too much".
so she says to me in all seriousness
*"do you think she will need tranquilizers when she is older?"*

WTF!? I laughed so hard her face turned red and she walked out of the room.


----------



## MommyofPunkiePie

I had to add to the discussion about the excuses women give for not breastfeeding.
My aunt, who has two boys who were over 10 pounds each at birth, told me, "I couldn't breastfeed because my boys were too big when they were born."
Another time DD and I were visiting her she repeated her comment in defense of why she did not breastfeed: because her boys were too big at birth.
Well, after another visit to her house(at this time DD was 10.5 months old), she finally got around to telling me the REAL reason she didn't breastfeed. She didn't breastfeed because she honestly thought that formula was *just as good* as breastmilk. There was no one around for her to ask about breastfeeding(her own Mother had not breastfed her). She now wishes(her sons are 16 and 11) that she had the information highway available to her when her children were born so she could have researched this choice instead of getting a prescription that dried up her milk.
So my point is maybe a lot of women feel the need to make excuses for their choices because they are embarrassed about their ignorance on a given topic.
Isn't it a lot easier to *blame* the doctor, nurse, i.e. somebody else for something that, when given the chance to do over, you would do completely different?


----------



## heathenmom

In the checkout line at the grocery store the other day, dd was sucking her thumb, which she does when she's starting to get sleepy. The clerk commented on it, then asked in a perfectly matter-of-fact tone if we would be putting hot sauce on her thumb later.







I very calmly replied, "No, it doesn't bother us in the least that she sucks her thumb." What I was thinking was, "Are you freaking kidding me???!!! Do people really do that to their kids?!" Grrrrr.

DD and I were at the same store last week when an employee came by and commented on how good I was with dd. It didn't occur to me until then that I was doing anything different than anybody else, but then I started really *looking* at the other parents there with babies. This is a generalization based on my limited observations, of course, but they didn't talk to or acknowledge the presence of their children in any way except to yell at them or tell them to be quiet.







I never thought about it before, but I have a constant running conversation with Fiona ... in the grocery store, in the car, around the house ... if she's within hearing distance of me and not asleep, I'm talking to her about what we're doing, who and what we see,







.


----------



## Ravin

With my mom's consent, my sitter got me out of the habit of finger-sucking by pasting my fingers with a nasty-tasting substance. I was 6 years old, I think. My younger sisters recieved no such treatment and continued to suck fingers/thumb until junior high, when tired or sick.


----------



## kisagotami

WOW! Tranks huh? Parents Kill me sometimes.


----------



## artgoddess

Quote:


Originally Posted by *turtlemama77*
I've been reading these for three days already, and just wanted to add a couple of mine.

dd doesn't out and out cry when she needs something. She makes kind of an "uh uh uh" noise that I know means she needs something. When dd started doing that while being held by the same aunt, I went to take dd back. The aunt said, "Oh she's not even crying, she's fine." I insisted on taking dd back, and the aunt said dd was spoiled.

dd has always been a snacker when it comes to bfing, so it seems like she's always eating. So I get "are you feeding her AGAIN??" all the time.

Sheri
Reese (12-22-04)

We have the same family! The first time we left DS ever was with MIL, for two hours when he was almost 5 months. He had fallen asleep while I was getting ready so my plan to nurse him just before we left was out. But I had some EBM, and told MIL about what time I thought she should offer it to him. She said "Oh no, if he's not crying, I'm not going to offer it. Why should I feed him before he's crying?" When she saw the look on my face (perhaps that of, 'I'm no going anywhere and leaving him with you') she quickly said "Well unless that's what you want me to do. Do you really want me to offer it to him before he get's upset?" "um, yeah."

I also got the same "You're feeding him again!" comments from my grandmother. We took grandma on a long trip to see her cousin, and brought the baby to show him off at about 2 months old. He nursed before we left the cousin, he slept a long part of the drive home, and I began nursing him as soon as I could get him to the couch. Grandma says, "Oh Sara! Really, he's not hungry you just fed him before we left, that was only three hours ago." He was only a couple months old!!!


----------



## mighty-mama

Pumpkinseed, I think you win the prize!!!!!!!!!!!

I got the best answer for crying it out!!!!!!!!!!!

When suggested you let your babe cio. Simply state "Now if you are upset, or scared, or just want to communicate and your partner puts you in a room, cause he doesn't want to deal with you and lets you cry, what do you feel"

now this causes them to think yeah I'd think he was a jerk.. (but they won't admit it) So you proceed to state the above, if you're feeling really randy go in and state "now would you continue to cry, 'cause you know no one cares" This is believe would cause them to be p'd off and probably walk away.

**I haven't used this yet, but my neighbor is asking for it....


----------



## mighty-mama

My ped.........

told me I need to introduce a bottle, cause "we don't want him to lose the sucking ability"

And to think all this time while he's breastfeeding, I guess he's just been playing the piano while nursing...


----------



## Shenjall

mighty-mama, I've used that for my friend who was cio.

She was trying to convince its works and I told her, "of course it works, he's realized you're not coming to get him so whats the point of crying? I mean, if you were upset and were calling me all the time but I never called you back, would you still call me?"

The subject was quickly changed but next time I talked to her they had stopped!


----------



## ToniaStarr

I am just sitting here shaking my head in amazment at the stupidity of some people. I mean, I was only 20 when my first DS was born and I still had more common sense than some of these people out there.
I have had my share of comments since I look younger than my age. (I can pass for 16 or so) and I have 3 young boys. So, people must see this sign on my chest that says "I have no clue what I am doing...." They mostly base around the fact I AP so I always have a child in a sling or am sleeping beside one. My favorite is the people who tell me I need to LET my son cry and should not feed on demand because he will manipulate me. As if he is some evil child attemtipng to rule the world. HOW is having needs met the same as manipulating???? And how in the name of god can a 1 month old be SPOILED???? It just makes me sad to see a baby "crying it out". I just want to scoop the baby up even if it is not mine.








And I got some wacky advice from my in laws when I was preggo with my first. Like, if I reached above my head the umbilical cord would wrap around his neck.
When my mom had me as an infant she was a young mom and one night she took me outside at night. It was warm and I was dressed okay and all that but this old lady stormed up to her and lectured her on the dangers of allowing a baby out at NIGHT. My poor mom went home in tears thinking she had done some horrid danger to me. As if night air is soooo bad. I got that same line from my BIL when Zane was a newborn. He actually asked me how I was gonna get home with the baby one night when we stayed late at his house. Um...I will wrap him in this NASA approved suit and pray for the best..." *sigh*
********************************************
Tonia







: :2bfbabe: :xnocirc2














:







mama to
Zane (4) Aidan (2) Bailey (5 months)







:
our angel in heaven Destiny
my step daughter Jessica (5)
married to my soulmate Andrew







:


----------



## lynsage

Some new gems from my mom:

I had food poisoning and my mom thought I could give it to my baby through my breast milk.

My daughter had a rash which was obviously not itchy or bothering her at all. My mom kept insisting I should "put something on it". I finally asked her what she meant by that and she told me to get some Aveeno diaper rash ointment, cover my baby's _entire body_ with it, and then cover the whole mess with a footed sleeper.

She thinks I should start giving my 10-month-old, who breastfeeds, eats some solids, and sips water from a cup, bottles of juice "so other people can feed her".


----------



## janerose

*sigh* I love my Mom, but this one really gets me. She TOTALLY freaks if DD crawls/walks around on her floors unless they were just vaccumed. She seems to think that the dog hair is somehow really dangerous.









However, she thinks NOTHING of letting DD sit in a house with almost no ventiliation while she's painting.







:

Sometimes I really wonder how I survived to adulthood??


----------



## JSerene

I have a friend with a 5 day old infant. Can you follow this logic? She wants to breastfeed but feels she doesn't have enough milk so started supplementing with bottles of formula but then her breasts were uncomfortable because they felt too full so she started pumping.

Ummm...your breasts are too full but you don't have enough milk?? I suggested she put the formula and pump away and put the baby to the breast. I think she was a little sleep deprived and not quite thinking straight.


----------



## shannon0218

Quote:


Originally Posted by *janerose*
*sigh* I love my Mom, but this one really gets me. She TOTALLY freaks if DD crawls/walks around on her floors unless they were just vaccumed. She seems to think that the dog hair is somehow really dangerous.









However, she thinks NOTHING of letting DD sit in a house with almost no ventiliation while she's painting.







:

Sometimes I really wonder how I survived to adulthood??

:LOL, what would she say about my dd who regularily teeths on the dog's ears adn the cat's tail (when she can catch it)


----------



## Mummoth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *janerose*
*sigh* I love my Mom, but this one really gets me. She TOTALLY freaks if DD crawls/walks around on her floors unless they were just vaccumed. She seems to think that the dog hair is somehow really dangerous.









My mom does the same thing, but I have a slightly different take on it than you. I don't think vacuuming is enough. Whenever DDs hand touches the floor I think "The dog could've sat right there & now she's got dog-butt germs on her hand... and now her HAND is in her MOUTH!!!" uke


----------



## joy11

LMAO at these posts!

When I was pg with ds the MWs told me that I needed to shoot for gaining 35 lbs b/c I was considered underweight. They were all concerned that I get enough fat and protein. So, I am vegetarian and eat a completely healthy diet, not a single bad thing while pg, only fresh organic fruits and veggies, whole grains, organic dairy, nuts, seeds, etc. so I was a little worried I would not be able to pack on the pounds, but to my delight, I gained really well and ate 100g of protein a day. So, when I reached the magic mark, I noticed that visits after that they had "look" when I would tell them my wt. as if I was gaining too much. Hello!!! Name me ONE person who can gain EXACTLY a precise amount of wt. and not a pound over in a certain amount of time! Whatever! I felt like there is no pleasing people when it comes to preg wt. Hello, it's the food you eat that is important and not the amt. of wt. you gain! I ended up gaining 45 lbs. (I wish I could keep some of it on but I'm wasting away BF-ing and not having time to cook.) Oh well.

The dumbest thing I hear about BF-ing is when people say that their babies were "allergic to breast milk". What?! I told my DH when someone said that to me and he was like "OMG, and they really believed that?!" I don't understand how a person can not realize that it dairy or something else in the bm, but that human milk IS made for human babies and they can not be allergic to it! How hard is that to get?! I think personally it's just a cop-out cause they don't want to cut out dairy or whatever. sigh.

Oh--and a friend told me when I was telling her how engorged I was when DS was about 3 wks old and I was tempted to pump, but know that would only make it worse...she says "oh you HAVE to pump! You must pump it and freeze it because there will come a day when you don't have enough milk, as soon as they jump from eating this much to that much, you won't have enough milk so you will need the extra on hand." I didn't say anything, but I'm thinking how funny it is to be giving advice to a woman who is engorged all the time about how she won't have enough milk. double sigh.


----------



## greenmansions

So we had DS in the hospital and to be discharged, we had to go throught carseat training. What a joke. The nurse who gave us the "training" was the most disorganized woman I have come across, kept us waiting in our room for 2 hours with our stuff packed up and ready to go while she went to find some papers she needed, as if she didn't do do this routine every single day. We should have just gone ahead and gone home.

Anyway, before we left, we had forgotten to pack the bulb syringe thingy that they clear the baby's airway with (they left that with us) and she picked it up off the bed and told us to make sure we took it with us in the car, not in the trunk, in case the baby choked on something on the way home we'd be able to suck it out of his throat. What???? What's a newborn gonna choke on? And am I never to leave the house without the bulb? OMG.


----------



## VioletMommy

My dad and step mom visited this weekend. Now, my dad is racist, sexist, homophobic, etc. etc. Last time they visited he managed to not say anything offensive, to which I can never counter, because I'm just a dumb woman, right?







: My ds is 10 weeks old, and the issue of vaccinations came up. I stated that he was not going to be vaccinated, that I was educated on the issue, end of story. After the "You HAVE to vaccinate" (no I don't dad) "He won't be able to get into school" (we're homeschooling), he says this gem:
"Well, then you better vote republican and keep out all these foreigners who are bringing in the diseases! They're bringing polio and TB over here because our borders haven't been closed yet!" Um, yeah dad. Whatever.








He also makes a big deal about going to my local grocery store because there are gay people there, and he doesn't want to "deal with them." What if ds is gay? No more grampa then, unless he loses the Bill O'reilly outlook.


----------



## Corvus

Quote:


Originally Posted by *VioletMommy*
My dad and step mom visited this weekend. Now, my dad is racist, sexist, homophobic, etc. etc. Last time they visited he managed to not say anything offensive, to which I can never counter, because I'm just a dumb woman, right?







: My ds is 10 weeks old, and the issue of vaccinations came up. I stated that he was not going to be vaccinated, that I was educated on the issue, end of story. After the "You HAVE to vaccinate" (no I don't dad) "He won't be able to get into school" (we're homeschooling), he says this gem:
"Well, then you better vote republican and keep out all these foreigners who are bringing in the diseases! They're bringing polio and TB over here because our borders haven't been closed yet!" Um, yeah dad. Whatever.








He also makes a big deal about going to my local grocery store because there are gay people there, and he doesn't want to "deal with them." What if ds is gay? No more grampa then, unless he loses the Bill O'reilly outlook.

The way you describe your father is NOTHING like Bill O'Reilly. Have you ever even watched his show?

Anyway, back to the topic.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *VioletMommy*
They're bringing polio and TB over here because our borders haven't been closed yet!" Um, yeah dad. Whatever.









Are polio and TB even on the list of current vaccines in this country? Your dad does sound like a real piece of work.


----------



## JustVanessa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *VioletMommy*
My dad and step mom visited this weekend. Now, my dad is racist, sexist, homophobic, etc. etc. Last time they visited he managed to not say anything offensive, to which I can never counter, because I'm just a dumb woman, right?







: My ds is 10 weeks old, and the issue of vaccinations came up. I stated that he was not going to be vaccinated, that I was educated on the issue, end of story. After the "You HAVE to vaccinate" (no I don't dad) "He won't be able to get into school" (we're homeschooling), he says this gem:
"Well, then you better vote republican and keep out all these foreigners who are bringing in the diseases! They're bringing polio and TB over here because our borders haven't been closed yet!" Um, yeah dad. Whatever.








He also makes a big deal about going to my local grocery store because there are gay people there, and he doesn't want to "deal with them." What if ds is gay? No more grampa then, unless he loses the Bill O'reilly outlook.

OMG!!!
Your dad sounds just like my FIL who things bfing is disgusting and won't let hubby's cousin in the house cuz she is a lesbian.
Dealing with him is so frustrating.....
His pointers on parenting are.....no bfing...cuz its gross
feed him solids at 4 months







:
Let him cry all night cuz he should be sleeping through by now








Don't let him sleep in your bed cuz you will roll on him

Yeah I am so glad he isn't talking to me right now


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *vanessagreene*
OMG!!!
Your dad sounds just like my FIL who























Yeah I am so glad he isn't talking to me right now









I am SO curious to know why he isn't talking to you, especially after hearing what he's like...


----------



## VioletMommy

The way you describe your father is NOTHING like Bill O'Reilly. Have you ever even watched his show?

Umm...o.k. that is completely








I was merely comparing my father to his FAVORITE personality, where he gets all of his info. Now, if you want to defend Bill O'Reilly, (who's show I HAVE in fact seen) then pm me instead of posting something so irrelevant in this thread.


----------



## cinnamonamon

We're currently trying to find a new church so we visited I nice little one not far from our house. After a lousy hour & a half of sitting in a 8 inch tall chair in the nursery with my two boys watching the nursery worker ignore kids (except her own) unless they were fighting/hurting each other, I was pretty sure this wasn't going to be a place I'd want to visit again. The cincher was on my way out when I saw a mom with one of the 10ish? month old boys from the nursery. Seeking to open a dialog I commented on how docily her ds had been during his diaper change (mine is currently in the stand up dipe change or scream & twist while laying stage). Her response was, "well, I'll tell you what works great -- when he was REALLY young, the first time he started to struggle I slapped him on his leg & told him to STAY STILL; and now he does just that!"

uke Yea lady, and if someone 10 times my size smacked me, I'd do what she said too...'til I was old enough to sneak out the bedroom window!


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *VioletMommy*
The way you describe your father is NOTHING like Bill O'Reilly. Have you ever even watched his show?

Umm...o.k. that is completely








I was merely comparing my father to his FAVORITE personality, where he gets all of his info. Now, if you want to defend Bill O'Reilly, (who's show I HAVE in fact seen) then pm me instead of posting something so irrelevant in this thread.

This thread goes OT all the time, what's the fuss about?


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cinnamonamon*
Seeking to open a dialog I commented on how docily her ds had been during his diaper change (mine is currently in the stand up dipe change or scream & twist while laying stage). Her response was, "well, I'll tell you what works great -- when he was REALLY young, the first time he started to struggle I slapped him on his leg & told him to STAY STILL; and now he does just that!"

OMG That's terrible! How did you respond?


----------



## Corvus

Quote:


Originally Posted by *VioletMommy*
Umm...o.k. that is completely








I was merely comparing my father to his FAVORITE personality, where he gets all of his info. Now, if you want to defend Bill O'Reilly, (who's show I HAVE in fact seen) then pm me instead of posting something so irrelevant in this thread.

You are the one who brought-up Bill O'Reilly in the first place.









I was simply responding to something YOU mentioned. If you didn't want any comments about him, you should not have mentioned him.


----------



## CarenSwan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyofPunkiePie*
She didn't breastfeed because she honestly thought that formula was *just as good* as breastmilk. There was no one around for her to ask about breastfeeding(her own Mother had not breastfed her). She now wishes(her sons are 16 and 11) that she had the information highway available to her when her children were born so she could have researched this choice instead of getting a prescription that dried up her milk.
So my point is maybe a lot of women feel the need to make excuses for their choices because they are embarrassed about their ignorance on a given topic.
Isn't it a lot easier to *blame* the doctor, nurse, i.e. somebody else for something that, when given the chance to do over, you would do completely different?

I think it's so true that often the loudest critics of BF-ing are the women who didn't do it for one of a zillion bad reasons. It makes me so sad, which helps me refrain from biting their head of if they question my BF-ing!


----------



## simonsmama

its_our_family said:


> I was told that letting him stand before 7 months would make him bow legged QUOTE]
> 
> I got this one too from my grandma....I just said "no he won't" lol. I'm not exactly a beat around the bush kinda gal
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Someone told me that my cat would suck the breathe out of the baby ....
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I was like "oh no, I better get rid of the cat so it doesn't get our breath too!" She was dumbfounded
> 
> I wish I had known everything I know now when I had first given birth....in the hospital the nurses told me I had to supplement with formula because he would die if he didn't eat soon (It had only been 13 hours after his birth).....I should have done my research......so thats a big (stupid on my part) reason why my ds is formula fed.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> my cousin told me that ds was controlling me becasue I won't let him CIO. She said "Don't you think he knows that he's controlling you?!" and I replied "Oh no! I've created a tyrant!"


----------



## VioletMommy

Someone told me that my cat would suck the breathe out of the baby .... I was like "oh no, I better get rid of the cat so it doesn't get our breath too!" She was dumbfounded

What is it with the cat thing? I was also told a long time ago by a co-worker that all cats have AIDS and will infect babies if they are in the same house. Boy, was I happy to leave a job with co-workers who believed THAT one...


----------



## cinnamonamon

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CryPixie83*
OMG That's terrible! How did you respond?

We were both walking out to our cars, so I just said "Ohhh," and started walking REALLY fast! As soon as we were all in the car DH & I turned to one another & said "NO!" :LOL We won't be back there anytime soon!

I was so dumbfounded, I didn't know what to say -- she had just sort of "looked" crunchy & friendly, so it really came outta left field...silly me!


----------



## dashbridge

When I was pregnant, I had a "friend" who was also pregnant and going to a very medically interventionist hospital for a planned c-section (#2). When she asked me what hospital I was going to and I replied (birthing center within a hospital) she responded with the following ...

"I don't like St. Joe's. They're a Catholic hospital and if there's a problem, they'll try to save your baby and let you die!". Isn't that horrible?







By the way, this woman was Catholic!!

That's only one that stands out among the "good baby?", "sleeping through the night?", don't coslepp - they'll never leave your bed", "can't breastfeed them into kindergarten", etc ...

And by the way, dd is 2 1/2 and why the hell can't you breastfeed them into kindergarten??








:














:














:


----------



## MamaHippo

I've posted several times on this thread over the past year but now that DS is a toddler I keep hearing new ones.
We have friends in England and DS was given a bunch of great, inexpensive but perfect soft-soled shoes from a shop there, since he's just learning to walk. He wears them all the time when not barefoot at home. A church nursery worker told me that if i didn't get him into some sturdy, stiff, hard-soled shoes ASAP his arches would fall and he's be flat-footed and never be able to get into the Army







. Ok lady, of course getting him into the Army is my #1 priority!!
Breastfeeding a toddler has put me under more criticism than I have ever experienced. I have heard them all - "You can't nurse him forever, you know." "You're going to make him a pervert, or gay." "You shouldn't be letting him touch your breasts anymore" (as DS nursed and nicely pat-patted the opposite boob) - thats inappropriate." "Your milk turns sour if you nurse too long."


----------



## hannahgrace

Old lady to me at supermarket:

"What a cute baby, but too bad, she needs a daddy."

Have no idea where she got that from. I had on my wedding band.


----------



## Thursday Girl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *VioletMommy*
Someone told me that my cat would suck the breathe out of the baby .... I was like "oh no, I better get rid of the cat so it doesn't get our breath too!" She was dumbfounded

What is it with the cat thing? I was also told a long time ago by a co-worker that all cats have AIDS and will infect babies if they are in the same house. Boy, was I happy to leave a job with co-workers who believed THAT one...









i was told that too and the only thing i could come up with is that cat's like milk and baby's breath smells like milk. so some ats will find sleeping baby and lick the baby's mouth for the milky smell. Hencs cat's sucking the breath from babies.







it sounds pretty good right??

my twin sister told me the other day that i should give birth silently like the scientologists and the hopi indians do. (oh she has never had kids) when i told her that i would just do what felt naturally she angrily told me "I just can't talk to you eveything you say pisses me off"

i was a little immature and told her what she says makes me want to hit her.
(I am really getting sick of her telling me not to breatsfeed dd #1, to go to a hopsital to birth, babies should be weaned by 9 months, bnirht silently, etc etc etc she is such a snobbish yuppy and i have no idea where she gets her research from,)

she told me "Doctors aren't trying to make you birth on their time, it's not like they have a golf game scheuduled and they are trying to get your kid out before tee off. They don't interfere unless it's nessacary"

Luckily when i responded to that one i had two other people on my side. she still thinks i'm insane. and she really really pisses me off to the point i don't even want to talk to her.


----------



## indiana ima

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hannahgrace*
..."What a cute baby, but too bad, she needs a daddy."... I had on my wedding band.

WEIRD! what did you say to that? my jaw would have hit the floor.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hannahgrace*
Old lady to me at supermarket:

"What a cute baby, but too bad, she needs a daddy."

Have no idea where she got that from. I had on my wedding band.

:LOL Maybe back when she had kids she and her husband did a full year of "babymoon" and she thought you were depriving your daughter of important bonding time by going shopping with just the two of you so early? :LOL


----------



## Mickiswing

I finally have some to add. I had to go to a church thing on Saturday, and I'm on the committee, so 3 month old DD and I were there for several hours. I had her in the sling, and she was being happy, snoozing when she needed it, etc. Here's just a couple jewels of wisdom people imparted:

"Wow, that's an interesting contraption you have there. I wish they'd had those when I had little ones" When I told her that they probably did, but they probably weren't popular in her area, she said, "Well, of course they had them, but only in Africa."

"What a neat little pouch. Shouldn't you be wearing an Indian dress with that?"

"So, are you nursing your baby?" Yup. "That's great. I tried to nurse my first baby, but I had no nutrition in my breastmilk." Huh.

"Wow, you look just like a hippie with that thing on. Are you one of those weird moms that never put their baby down?"

And, my personal favorite, after briefly letting a friend hold Charlotte for a few minutes, and her crying the whole time, "Geez, I guess she can't survive without her Mama, can she?" Well duh. Babies aren't supposed to.


----------



## artgoddess

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mickiswing*
I finally have some to add. I had to go to a church thing on Saturday, and I'm on the committee, so 3 month old DD and I were there for several hours. I had her in the sling, and she was being happy, snoozing when she needed it, etc. Here's just a couple jewels of wisdom people imparted:

"Wow, that's an interesting contraption you have there. I wish they'd had those when I had little ones" When I told her that they probably did, but they probably weren't popular in her area, she said, "Well, of course they had them, but only in Africa."

"What a neat little pouch. Shouldn't you be wearing an Indian dress with that?"

"So, are you nursing your baby?" Yup. "That's great. I tried to nurse my first baby, but I had no nutrition in my breastmilk." Huh.

"Wow, you look just like a hippie with that thing on. Are you one of those weird moms that never put their baby down?"

And, my personal favorite, after briefly letting a friend hold Charlotte for a few minutes, and her crying the whole time, "Geez, I guess she can't survive without her Mama, can she?" Well duh. Babies aren't supposed to.









: Oh man, you hit the jackpot Saturday. I've heard almost all of those comments myself but not on the dame day. :LOL Hope you were able to laugh it off at the end of the day.


----------



## Mickiswing

Quote:


Originally Posted by *artgoddess*







: Oh man, you hit the jackpot Saturday. I've heard almost all of those comments myself but not on the dame day. :LOL Hope you were able to laugh it off at the end of the day.

Oh, I definitely think it's funny. I just wasn't expecting so many all at once! I didn't sling my first two, and babywearing is definitely not the norm here. I figure I'd better get used to it, LOL


----------



## Birth Junky

I figured out I was pregnant on a Friday, after a week of being sick with the flu. After a weekend where my symptoms started to subside, they came back with a vengeance. Ultimately, after talking to my midwife, I went to the doctor to get a throat culture done (MW thought I might have strep). It turned out that I _didn't_ have strep, but did have a RAGING ear infection, so the doctor put me on antibiotics--one compatible with pregnancy.

A couple of days later DH's grandmother called to tell us that we shouldn't have left the house over the weekend (we had driven out of town to inform the in-laws that we were expecting!), since we were sick . . . said that she had a sore throat the day after we saw her, but took care of it with some folk remedies that she uses, and we should do the same. DH explained to her that actually, we had more than a sore throat (DH was sick at the same time), and that we had been to the doctor and were on antibiotics. His grandmother popped back with "Antibiotics? That's a STUPID doctor--he's going to kill your baby! Did you even tell him that she was pregnant?"









His grandmother is an evil old woman who pulls this kind of stuff all the time. She also told me that I *HAD* to give birth in a hospital, because "what if the baby was too big to come out?" and then proceeded to explain to me how her babies were HUGE. Um . . . yeah, and she is HALF my size (tiny!), and gave birth outside of the U.S., without surgery. ????


----------



## minkajane

I've had some new ones since the last time I posted.

- But I thought you HAD to wean at one year. (my childless sister)
- (My mom, when we found out DS's weight gain was levelling off) So they think he's a midget??? Maybe there's something wrong with your milk - have they tested it?
- Nursing a kid over a year old is just weird.
- (Discussion with my friend about why her future sons don't need to be circ'd even though her first is) Well then A would be different and I could never do that to my son!

And the winner -- I had DS in the sling at the grocery store. The cashier mentioned how small he was and I smiled and said "Yeah, but he's a chunk. He gets lots of breastmilk." She then brought up the new recommendation that's been on tv about giving kids table food sooner instead of the pureed jar stuff. Apparently she thought they meant sooner than six months and she started talking about how great it was that babies were getting solids earlier. She proudly announced that her kids got their first solids at NINE DAYS OLD! And that they even got a little bit of cereal before leaving the hospital! Those poor babies!







I made sure to set her straight that they were still saying to wait till six months, but I just had to be sad.


----------



## mollyeilis

I think I really need to actually read this new food stuff. sigh.

"her kids got their first solids at NINE DAYS OLD! And that they even got a little bit of cereal before leaving the hospital"

I feel really bad for them. I was given some sort of cereal stuff at around 2 months (though I *was* breastfed until I was 4), and I have loads of environmental allergies, and am sensitive to dairy (and addicted). When I was little I had a lovely allergy to eggs, I believe from the early exposure, which was difficult b/c we were very very poor, and the eggs from our chickens was a main source of protein for us...

Hubby was given pureed meats and other solids at 3 weeks (she thought the doctor said weeks but he'd actually said months)...he's had severe problems with meats (was also very addicted to meat, eating nothing much *but* meat until he was about 26) and had to give it up for health reasons.

Early foods, IMO and IME, cause big troubles down the road...


----------



## birthjunkie27

Wow, I've never seen such a long thread. I'm in awe.

Stupid things MIL has said/done:

Regarding my kids and what they eat when they are at her house... if they don't eat their lunch/ dinner...she will give them whatever they want (chips, fruit snacks, cookies, ice cream, candy)..because they "need to eat something". Uh,hello...they KNOW they don't have to eat a meal there cause they automatically get the good stuff.

All the grandkids will be playing with toys, coloring, playing nicely. G-ma will put on a cartoon or kids' movie, direct their attention AWAY from the activity they were doing to watch the show/ movie. The kids will get all riled up (since usually the show/ movie has tons of action going on) and start acting like little maniacs, then G-ma will yell at them to settle down! HELLO!?!? They were settled and calm till you put this dumb show on for them (and pumped them full of sugar).

When we announced this (our third) pregnancy, MIL asked me when I was due...I told her my EDD, then she asked DH when he was due....we were like, due for what? She replies, "You know....the snip snip." (referring to a vasectamy!) I am still seething (7 months later) about that comment. Like she has any say in how many kids we choose to have? I could understand if we depended on her, or dropped the kids off with her a lot, but we don't! We actually haven't asked her to babysit at all since she mad that comment. We are great parents who provide everything for our kids.....GRRRR still makes me mad thinking about it.


----------



## Charles Baudelaire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *joy11*

Oh--and a friend told me when I was telling her how engorged I was when DS was about 3 wks old and I was tempted to pump, but know that would only make it worse...she says "oh you HAVE to pump! You must pump it and freeze it because there will come a day when you don't have enough milk, as soon as they jump from eating this much to that much, you won't have enough milk so you will need the extra on hand." I didn't say anything, but I'm thinking how funny it is to be giving advice to a woman who is engorged all the time about how she won't have enough milk. double sigh.

Keep sighing and throw in an eyeball-roll too while you're at it, but the fact is, she's right.

I woke up with a pair of hot basketballs on my chest when my milk came in and wisely pumped and froze. Thank God I did, too. I was exclusively feeding DD breast milk, both pumped (for when I was at work and DH fed her) and from the source (when I was at home or on weekends), and I'd always managed to stay ahead of the game.

Well, fast-forward a month. My idiot OB lied, lied, lied and told me that the Depo-Provera shot would have no effect on my breastmilk supply.

Wrong.

I dropped my supply by about 20-30%. I drank EVERY galactagogue in the business -- had so much fennel tea that my BM smelled of black licorice, like it was Easter going on in my bra-- and still it didn't pick up much.

If it hadn't been for that frozen BM, I would have had to do formula or something (ick!), because even though I started pumping more, putting her to the breast more, et cetera, the supply didn't bounce back until the shot was on its way out of my system.

Well..."double sigh," hindsight is 20/20 vision.


----------



## 3littlebirds

our son started getting bored during the day recently. it took us a day or so to figure out that what he really wanted was to get outside. during one of his fussy periods, i set him down to pick up one of our carriers so i could take him for a walk, and completely quit fussing and burst into a smile. ever since then, he gets lots of walks during the day.

my husband told this story to a client of his, and they responded, "oh, you're in for it now. that baby has you two wrapped around his little finger."

we also co-sleep, and people always tell us, "you'll never get him out of your bed" shortly after the "is he sleeping through the night?" question.

we've mostly given up on trying to educate people, or explain our parenting style. we joke that there are three taboo topics of conversation now: politics, religion, and parenting styles.


----------



## Karennnnn

This has probably been mentioned considering the 2000 plus replies, but my all time fave is this one:
It's good for lung development when a baby cries.
Hmmm.
I wonder what breathing all day long does for lung development?!


----------



## alicia622

My SIL told me the baby hiccups were strengthening his heart!

A coworker just told me the reason the baby doesn't like the bouncy chair is because he knows I will pick him up if he fusses (as though this is bad for the baby to know I will be there when he needs me!!!)


----------



## mama_b

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cinnamonamon*
Her response was, "well, I'll tell you what works great -- when he was REALLY young, the first time he started to struggle I slapped him on his leg & told him to STAY STILL; and now he does just that!"









How could anyone HIT a baby?!

When dd was 5 weeks old were at a restaurant with a bunch of family and my mom offered to hold dd while I ate my dessert. I turned away from her for a minute to talk to my cousin, turned back around and dd had whipped mascarpone cheese from my mom's dessert all over her lips.







I went nuts and mom wiped it off and said "Well, you had pizza at 7 weeks and you're fine."







Yeah, I only have horrible digestion problems but I'm fine.


----------



## Lousli

I just had a lovely experience about 20 min. ago. I was in the grocery store, baby in the sling, Melly holding my hand. We were picking out things for her birthday, paper plates and such. She was of course, very excited, but behaving pretty well. I was trying to gently explain why some of the boys at her party might not enjoy the pink Barbie party favors, and she was being a tad whiny. This older woman was standing nearby and after a couple of minutes said, "I would spank her butt!" and then stalked away. I was so angry and shocked!


----------



## kater07

FYI (OT): Fennel may well be in a lot of the breastmilk producing agents, but I have been told several times by different Midwives to avoid it b/c Fennel can actually dry up the milk supply. Fenugreek is the herb that helps increase milk supply. It makes you smell like syrup.

Back on topic:

Apparently, my 8 month old is totally old enough to consciously manipulate me, and thus I need to teach her who's boss by letting her cry alone in another room while I sleep until she learns that night time is for sleeping.


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lousli*
I was trying to gently explain why some of the boys at her party might not enjoy the pink Barbie party favors, and she was being a tad whiny. This older woman was standing nearby and after a couple of minutes said, "I would spank her butt!" and then stalked away. I was so angry and shocked!

What on Earth for??? WHY would you spank a child for being excited? I really don't understand people's logic... of course I don't understand the whole spanking thing either (and this is coming from someone who WAS spanked as a child)... I just don't get it...


----------



## Kateana

I just spent the day with my stepmom and a bunch of her friends, and had to listen to talk of spanking babies... it was so sad.







A 1 yo was crying b/c she wanted some of the chili we were eating, and her mom wouldn't give it to her. She kept asking, "so would you spank for that?" Fortunately nobody told her yes.


----------



## jrayn

Well said:


> I have been on depo since 6 weeks pp and my supply hasn't been affected hmm that is strange.
> 
> I have had a few the one that always makes me laugh is when this mother of 4 saw me nursing my then 8 month old, she freaked out she was like "ohh my god you are STILL nursing her???? That is sooo wierd!! Then she got a call on her cell phone and told whoever that was, she still nurses!!!! and she has never been apart from her baby!!! she has separation anxiety!"
> I went on to explain to her that WHO and AAP reccoment bf for 2 years, first she said what is WHO? She then said it would be wierd for your daughter to be able to ask for the boob.
> 
> I feel proud of my decisions and when people think it is strange or don't agree , I know they aren't educated and that is just an opportunity for me to do so.


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jrayn*
I have been on depo since 6 weeks pp and my supply hasn't been affected hmm that is strange.

Actually it's not as uncommon as you'd think. I know of several women who have had supply issues because of their birth control







: Dumb doctors... grrr


----------



## turtlemama77

dh's cousin has a five month old ds who she has recently started on solids (he's also ff...very mainstream family). Her ds was so constipated today that he just screamed when he was trying to poop. I asked questions about what he was eating, tried to urge them to stop feeding solids. Apparently their doc told them to start him on solids. Anyway, dh's uncle said that it was time to put karo syrup in the baby's bottle! I was so shocked I didn't know what to say.

I suggested some foods they could give that might help and said they could call if they had any other questions. Karo syrup...yikes.

Sheri
Reese (12-22-04)


----------



## Jenifer76

Comments with both my DD and DS:

Breastfeeding makes them fussier.
He'll sleep through the night if you give him formula.
You've spoiled him/her.
Its time to cut her off from the boob (my DD isn't even 1 yet).
Don't walk with them when they cry or they will always want it.
You should try Ferberizing her.

I am sure there are tons more ...


----------



## Joya

I was at the gym yesterday and was talking with another member. She asked me if my DD was sleeping through the night, and I replied "no, but it's working out fine with us". She stated, "I don't know what's up with your generation. None of the babies today sleep through the night--in my day, they all did. Every night,I put mine in their cribs and wouldn't go back until the sun came up. BABIES ARE LIKE DOGS; THEY HAVE TO BE TRAINED". What do you say to that??? Do your kids fetch and roll over on command?







:


----------



## Queen of Cups

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Joya*
I was at the gym yesterday and was talking with another member. She asked me if my DD was sleeping through the night, and I replied "no, but it's working out fine with us". She stated, "I don't know what's up with your generation. None of the babies today sleep through the night--in my day, they all did. Every night,I put mine in their cribs and wouldn't go back until the sun came up. BABIES ARE LIKE DOGS; THEY HAVE TO BE TRAINED". What do you say to that??? Do your kids fetch and roll over on command?







:

My grandmother contends that the reason the baby-boomers generation totally screwed up the country is because they were all screwed up because their parents put them on a schedule as babies. She was telling me, "They used to tell you to only play with your baby at certain times, only feed them at certain times, and such. Can you imagine?" I hated to tell her that that's a current trend again - she just assumed that everyone had figured out it didn't work! (She didn't follow that advice and was glad to see I wasn't, either!).

Now if I could just convince her that tandem nursing really is possible! She keeps saying, "I just don't see how that's going to work..." :LOL


----------



## moppity

My MIL said to me regarding my DH "well I raised him like a dog and he's OK"...well, yes he is, but no thanks to you.

Someone at playgroup the other day asked me if I was going to give DD formula because she is still waking through the night (hmmm...6 months old and teething, yeah, sure, just give her formula)

Of course we get the 'if you go to every time she cries'...stuff but oh well.

I love my DH, my friend called the other day and was talking to him and asked if DD was being good...DH replied with 'well she has just got out on parole but we'll see how she goes'


----------



## peaceful_mama

LOOOOOOOOOOOL to the parole bit!!

Unfortunately, the Karo syrup thing is a popular one. I have heard it can cause botulism in babies, but when I went to a new moms group led by a LC she said she had never heard that and didn't see how it could be possible....I just think it sounds unhealthy.

On solids, I personally don't think they're really ready till they can sit up and eat things that are just mashed with a fork and maybe a little liquid, not overly blender-ized. (for my son, close to if not 7 months) After all, what do you think people did before Gerber and blenders?

My advice on the constipation thing would be that you should only be giving one new food at a time for 3-4 days, if you notice it constipates your baby, don't give it again for a month.
And it's an *intro* to solids anyway, they don't need a big ol' giant bowl of something. They'll work up to that.

Gee, if your baby's got a problem at 6 months, I *really* need to work with mine,....he is 12 months old and he has only started sleeping through the night this week 2 nights!


----------



## EnviroBecca

We live in a very diverse area and haven't gotten a lot of criticism (and boy, do I appreciate it after reading some of the stories here!!!) and when people have commented on the Maya Wrap they've always been either very positive or just curious...until Sunday when we were at the playground....

EnviroBaby was curious about some kids playing hopscotch, so we walked over for a closer look. A girl about 4 years old was also watching, but when we came close she started looking at us instead, then said in a VERY accusing tone, "That's funny looking how you carry him in just one scarf!" and stomped away. :LOL


----------



## Birth Junky

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zakers_mama*
Unfortunately, the Karo syrup thing is a popular one. I have heard it can cause botulism in babies, but when I went to a new moms group led by a LC she said she had never heard that and didn't see how it could be possible....I just think it sounds unhealthy.

Botulism would come from giving honey, as children under the age of two can develop botulism from eating honey.


----------



## KC in KS

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Birth Junky*
Botulism would come from giving honey, as children under the age of two can develop botulism from eating honey.

Looks like corn syrup can be a source too, but it's not certain.

Quote:

Many doctors still recommend the corn syrup for constipation, but this is a practice we would like to see stopped. The reason is, in recent years, studies have shown that corn syrup *can* harbor botulism spores, which are a deadly toxin produced by bacteria. While adult immune systems may be able to handle the minute amounts that could be present, a baby would be at a very increased risk.
Link

Quote:

Infant botulism is a special type in which living bacteria or its spores are ingested and grow within the infant's gastrointestinal tract. The most common cause of infant botulism is ingestion of honey or corn syrup.
Link

Quote:

Infant botulism is treatable, but because of its severity, it's important to learn the symptoms so you can recognize the illness early. It's also important to know that honey and corn syrup are known sources of the bacteria that cause botulism. For this reason, it's a good idea to avoid giving your baby honey or pure doses of corn syrup.
Link

Quote:

This is a syndrome recognized in recent years. Clostridium botulinum (the causative germ) spores are found in the soil and specifically in all honeys. (They may also be found in light or dark corn syrup (Karo) but in much lower levels. Current literature casts doubt on corn syrup being a source of infection, because the method of processing corn syrup has been changed1)
Link


----------



## weliveintheforest

Conversation about my dd with DH's step-grandma:

grandma: Is she baptised yet?
me: no
grandma: oh. Well... you're going to right?
me: no... we aren't christian
grandma: (laughing)you dont have to be _Christian_ to baptise your baby!

riiiight.







(nothing wrong with baptising of course, just not for us)

Conversation with my family about breastfeeding:

cousin: I would worry about breastfeeding cuz I'd want to know how much they were getting
me: if you were really worried you could weigh them before and after every feeding
grandma: unless your milk has no nutrition, then the weight wouldn't change.
me: what?
grandma: you know, sometimes there is just no nutrition in the millk and they won't gain weight.
(even water has a weight, and milk having no nutrition? what?????)

After we showed Dh's grandma the sling:

grandma: wow, that is the neatest thing
me: yeah, we really like it. she goes right to sleep in it.
grandma: how do you set it up?
me: um, you wear it over your shoulder like this...
grandma: what?? you wear it!? oh, I dont like that.

um, what did you think we did with it?


----------



## boingo82

Quote:


Originally Posted by *weliveintheforest*
..
grandma: wow, that is the neatest thing
me: yeah, we really like it. she goes right to sleep in it.
grandma: how do you set it up?
me: um, you wear it over your shoulder like this...
grandma: what?? you wear it!? oh, I dont like that.

um, what did you think we did with it?


Oh you silly! Don't you know you're supposed to tie the baby up in it, then hook the ring over a doorknob!


----------



## sapphire_chan

Welll, one MDC mama apparently had their elder child suggest that as a solution when she was wondering what she'd do with the baby while she got an adjustment at the chiropractor. :LOL


----------



## Frigga

Never rock your baby to sleep, they'll get addicted to it and you'll always have to do it.
Right, like it's a chore or something.
And I always love, "Go ahead and smoke through pregnancy. I did and my mom did and we all turned out fine." Never mind they were all under 6 pounds at birth and all have asthma!







:


----------



## Shenjall

Oh! I have another one I totally forgot about!

After I had my first, my then mil told me I should put a wee bit of rum in his bottle to help him sleep - but only if I really needed it. :LOL

Um...okay. She apparently did that with her kids - explains alot about my ex! :LOL


----------



## jrayn

My grandma, although meaning well suggested me putting honey on a feather to enertain my then 8 mnth old daughter - botulism on a choking hazard!!!


----------



## Sierra

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shenjall*
After I had my first, my then mil told me I should put a wee bit of rum in his bottle to help him sleep

One Sunday afternoon about 2pm we got a call from CPS (we sometimes do emergency foster placements) about a baby in an ambulance on his way to the emergency room, all drunk because his mom put rum in his bottle to make him sleep. I was so saaaaad for that little baby. I kept thinking, "it's 2:00 in the afternoon-- what are you so desperate to get him to sleep for?!" (Of course, then last Sunday at about that same time I was starting to feel really fried after a reeeeaaaaallllly long morning and I remembered my compassion.) But seriously, rum for babies-- what are people thinking?!

When I was nine I snuck a bottle of rum or some equivilant alcohol from the kitchen and took the tiniest little swig. I was drunk all afternoon...and miserable...and felt so uncomfortably confused. I can't imagine a poor baby having to go through that.

So many things people did in my parent's and grandparent's generation that now (thankfully, in most cases) end up in CPS intervention.


----------



## Sierra

Okay, so I had to revive this thread just to b**ch about this "lovely" dinner we had with dfs's biological maternal grandmother, her grandson (dfs's half-brother), and her best friend a couple days ago. I usually blow things off but for some reason my nerves were just getting grated on:

Here are some of the annoying things grandmother's best friend had to say...

First, she starts out the night by asking us if we ever use a babysitter. We answered her honestly that we don't leave dfs at this point in his life. She acted all dismayed and says, "When my son..." (who is now in his late twenties) "was little, I didn't leave him until he was six months. And then I went to dinner and I could hardly eat. I was so worried and missed him so much. But you have to do it. You have to take care of yourself." Trying to redirect the conversation, I told her that we trade off taking time for ourselves. I told her that just the night before my dw had gone bowling with some friends. "Oh, but you really have to do it together to take care of yourselves. You have to leave ______." Uh, I don't have to do anything.

Then she asks us if we saw in the newspaper how some high up health organization "*finally*" came out with the "obvious" that parents should not, under any circumstances, sleep with their babies, that parents and babies should not share a bed because "there have been so many cases in which parents have rolled over and smothered their babies." I couldn't bite my tongue on that one. I explained that foster care requirements meant dfs was to sleep in a crib, but that in fact, the information she had was wrong. I explained that smothering happens with parents who have been drinking, doing drugs, or whose sleep patterns are not normal due to things like smoking. I told her, "You know where the edge of the bed is when you are sleeping, right? Why wouldn't you know where your baby is? It's called selective conciousness. You are capable of being selectively aware of certain things, like the edge of the bed, or a person in bed with you, when you are asleep." She didn't really have much to say after that







.

Then, after dfs fell asleep and was sleeping peacefully on his back on a blanket on the floor (he usually turns to his side but didn't) she started in about how the back-to-sleep campaign is just cruel because it is so uncomfortable for babies. If she had a baby these days, she said, she'd let him/her sleep on her tummy until s/he was in a deep sleep and *then* turn him/her onto his/her back. That's fine. Whatever. But it was almost like she was looking at dfs feeling sorry for him because he was on his back. But he was just fine and dandy, and we didn't ask for her opinion anyway.

So then I think we are entering safe territory when we start connecting with her about a program which allows parents to buy college tuition for their children at today's rates even if their child is a baby. My wife and I have been talking about doing that for our kids, and she did that for her son-- who is now using the tuition. So we start chatting and she is getting really enthusiastic, which is great because it is a good program.

dfs's grandmother comes out of the kitchen and hears that we're talking about saving for college and says to us about her grandson, dfs's brother, "__________ has money saved for college..." (_turns to her grandson_), "__________, tell them how much you have saved." And her grandson, who is six, says, "$6000." Great! Then grandmother's best friend starts going off on grandmother about how bad it is that she isn't purchasing the tuition through this program at today's rates. And how she really needs to go right away and put all this $6000 into this program, which is so wonderful,





















.

But the silly thing about that little tirade of hers is that this little boy is pretty severely developmentally delayed and quite possibly with an IQ signifying mild mental retardation like his parents. I think it is great that his grandmother is saving money and encouraging him to go to college. And I will be so happy for him if he goes to college, so proud. But seriously, it isn't realistic to think that he will. He just isn't functioning on that level. So to tie up those funds like that in something that can only be used for college...why on earth would grandmother want to do that?! He might need that money to get some assistance with daily living as an adult, among other things.

Then she hits my tender spot because she started talking about how dfs is such a "fussy baby." Both she and dfs's maternal grandmother think so (they both talk about it all the time). The reason they think he is fussy is because in some really screwed up arrangement dfs's grandmother made with the state, she was able to get a weekend-long visitation with him when he was around 1 1/2 or 2 months (and several day-long, like 6-8 hour, visitations). Of course this was reeeeeaaaaally hard on him, and she didn't tell me at the time, but I've since gathered that he cried the whole time. I think I am grieving about this in some ways







. I just feel so awful that he had to go through that, and I think on some level I feel badly for not being able to protect him from that experience even though on a logical level I know there was nothing more I could have done







.

Also, not that it matters, but it just so happens that dfs is a very laid back kid. Not at all fussy. Just a baby. So at dinner the other night she is noticing how he was fussing a little because he had refused to nap all day and was exhausted. And she starts talking about how when dfs's grandmother had him for the weekend she "made her check his diaper because he was crying so long and so hard, but there wasn't anything in it." She ends by saying, "I guess he was just fussy. Looks like he is still fussy. Is he still fussy like that?"

Topping the night off, as we were getting ready to go home, dfs is getting really worked up. As I said, he had refused to nap all day (normally he has at least two long naps), and it was 15 minutes past his bedtime by the time we were able to start packing up to go home. So he is getting all upset and starting to cry and cry, and we are telling his grandmother again how he was so exhausted.

Grandmother's best friend asks to hold him while we finish packing up the diaper bag and getting on our shoes, and we say okay, and he continues to scream. Well, then she puts him on his belly across her arm, which distracts him for a minute because it was a change of viewpoint, so he only fusses for a minute or so and then starts winding back up. And she starts in about how he is all gassy. She is like, "His stomach is so distended. Poor little guy is in tons of pain because of all that rice you fed him at dinner" (dfs's grandmother gave him a bit of Spanish rice with our blessing). Now, if he was really gassy, I guess that might be true. But seriously, I know when my kid is gassy and when he was tired. I know my kid inside and out, and don't need some practical stranger to tell me what is "wrong" with my baby. He was just tired lady, okay?! When we got home he totally crashed.
Oh, and I won't even get into how she asked us about whether dfs could hold his own bottle and was all shocked and dismayed when we said that wasn't a skill we were wanting to encourage. We are bottle-nursing dfs, holding him close and bonding with him during feedings.

I guess I just needed to vent about this. It really wasn't all that bad, just one irritating evening.


----------



## Pen

Well at 3 months baby is looking wide eyed at the dinner table and all the lovely, colorful food. Grandma says: Look at how she is looking at the food. She is hungry and you aren't feeding her.

Then five months, when everything is going to the mouth - grandma and aunts tell me how she wants to eat food. Never mind my explaination about learning about her envirornment by mouthing. Then, dd puts a closed water bottle to mouth and starts mouthing it. Guess what that means!!.... poor baby WANTS a bottle and I am such a bad mother for breastfeeding because see? it's natural for a baby to want a bottle that's why everyone uses bottles, because that's what babies want and need. How could I be so blind?
URRGHH!


----------



## mcs

a neighbor and i were pregnant at the same time and talking about shower gifts. I said that i had received some nice things, but even more things that i would never ever use- like a little blanket stuffed animal thing whose tag said something about how the fur should not be ingested. "who would make a toy that a child couldn't put in the mouth?" I asked excitedly. She and her MIL were just staring at me and the the MIL said "Oh! I see that your gong to be one of THOSE kind of mothers!"
The kind that won't give her baby toxic toys? yup.


----------



## Stephanie6603

when our dd was born, in the hospital she was smiling, and my fil was telling everyone, i told him it was gas.

just recently, my mil told me to put whisky on our dd gums when teething.

my neighbor told me not to say a word when a tooth comes in so someone else has to buy her first pair of shoes.


----------



## paquerette

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Stephanie6603*
my neighbor told me not to say a word when a tooth comes in so someone else has to buy her first pair of shoes.

Hey, I like this one.







I wish my inlaws had found hers. We'd be getting a pair of these :LOL


----------



## mollyeilis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Stephanie6603*
my neighbor told me not to say a word when a tooth comes in so someone else has to buy her first pair of shoes.

I don't understand this.


----------



## Stephanie6603

:LOL :LOL :LOL

Quote:


Originally Posted by *paquerette*
Hey, I like this one.







I wish my inlaws had found hers. We'd be getting a pair of these :LOL


----------



## Stephanie6603

whoever spots the first tooth has to buy the first pair of shoes...

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mollyeilis*
I don't understand this.


----------



## moppity

My MIL doesn't understand why (after trying everything else I can think of) I give DD Paracetamol for very bad teething when 'a little bit of vodka would be better'

From pretty much everyone in our playgroup when I said we are CD'ing 'you are f*cking insane'

(my sister found DD's first tooth and bought her a present)


----------



## mollyeilis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Stephanie6603*
whoever spots the first tooth has to buy the first pair of shoes...


Is this some sort of tradition? Whose tradition? What culture? Am I the only one who has never heard of it?

Man, I thought I knew all sorts of traditions!

Then again, no one else sees DS, so we haven't really given anyone the opportunity to see anything for the first time.


----------



## Stephanie6603

maybe it's an italian thing, i really don't know......9 years ago i spotted my nephew's and bought his shoes..kinda silly if you ask me but funny.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mollyeilis*
Is this some sort of tradition? Whose tradition? What culture? Am I the only one who has never heard of it?

Man, I thought I knew all sorts of traditions!

Then again, no one else sees DS, so we haven't really given anyone the opportunity to see anything for the first time.


----------



## Nightsky

When I was a newborn (about 3 or 4 weeks old) my parents took me to the beach. My mom was enjoying her first day out with her newborn and was sitting comfortably in the shade of the umbrella she had set up. This older lady came up in a "huff" and started telling my mom how horrible she was. This lady went on to "inform" my mom about how dangerous it was for me to be in the sun. Nevermind that not only was my head covered by a hat but we were still sitting in the shade of the umbrella.

This is a bit offtopic, but I find this funny now...
When I was little (about 5 or 6) I remember crossing the street with my mom, and right as we were halfway across the crosswalk's light had changed, and traffic wanted to drive over us. As my mom told me to hurry up, and we proceeded to jog/run across, I thought to myself, "Oh no! My mom's boobs are going to fall off!" I guess I had never seen her move quickly like that before, and had come up with the idea that she couldn't run, because they would detach themselves somehow.


----------



## peaceful_mama

Paracetamol? Is that an Aussie equivalent of Tylenol or something?

From DH just today re last night 'you shouldn't give so much tylenol'

because I told him DS was awake for 2 hours, had 6 oz milk which is a LOT for him even at a year old lol and was TRYING to go back to sleep, but kept closing his eyes and then opening them, wiggling, whining....I know he iteething. I figured it was probably that his mouth hurt.

and for the record, last night's dose was the first in probably 2-3 months.


----------



## nhklh

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zakers_mama*
Paracetamol? Is that an Aussie equivalent of Tylenol or something?

Yes. Brand name is Panadol.


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nhklh*
Yes. Brand name is Panadol.

That's the stuff my parents gave me when I was little. I wonder if it's still available in the US?


----------



## nhklh

I've recently noticed Tylenol on the shelf at the chemist here. I wonder if the makers of Panadol and Tylenol are one and the same?


----------



## Lula's Mom

Quote:

whoever spots the first tooth has to buy the first pair of shoes...

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mollyeilis*
Is this some sort of tradition? Whose tradition? What culture? Am I the only one who has never heard of it?

I've never heard of it either! It's kind of cute to buy the baby a present for getting the first tooth. Why shoes, I wonder?


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## ebensmama

My baby is a 6 week old nursling, and people ask me if he sleeps through the night, then give me sympathy when I say no.







: I don't *want* him to sleep through the night. It'd kill the milk supply that we are working so hard to sustain.

No snappy comebacks, though I'd like some. I just explain that he's a milk monkey and that I'm happy to be able to nourish him at whatever time of day he's hungry.


----------



## Birth Junky

Haven't been faced with this situation yet (we're expecting #1 in the spring), but while reading all of the comments on this thread I started thinking what my reaction would be if I WERE faced with it . . .

The only response I have come up with so far, when asked how baby is sleeping/is baby sleeping through the night, is "s/he sleeps _like a baby_."


----------



## jenP

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ebensmama*
My baby is a 6 week old nursling, and people ask me if he sleeps through the night, then give me sympathy when I say no.

Yeah, what is UP with that??? Do people just forget how long it takes before a baby sleeps through the night, or do they seriously expect a newborn to sleep 8 hours in a row??
When people ask me how he's sleeping I just say, "well, he wakes up several times to eat OF COURSE but he goes right back to sleep so it's pretty easy."

Jen


----------



## Amaryllis

My doctors said a lot of really brainless stuff when my DD was born, but one thing they all agreed on was that babies should not be sleeping through the night at that age!!! They even went as far as to tell me I need to wake her up if she slept longer than 4 hours to nurse her!


----------



## littlest birds

My sister gave up on nursing right away, much to our surprise (SHOCK!) since everybody in our family has nursed a couple of generations.

She said she tasted her milk (colostrum) and it was bitter she didn't think the baby could possibly like it if it didn't taste good to her.

Not the stupidest thing ever but it was just a few days ago so it stands out in my memory!


----------



## pjlioness

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ebensmama*
My baby is a 6 week old nursling, and people ask me if he sleeps through the night, then give me sympathy when I say no.







: I don't *want* him to sleep through the night. It'd kill the milk supply that we are working so hard to sustain.

No snappy comebacks, though I'd like some. I just explain that he's a milk monkey and that I'm happy to be able to nourish him at whatever time of day he's hungry.

Ds1 slept 5 hours a night from the start, so I had that to tell people. Many were impressed.









Ds2 was a whole 'nother story. He came out screaming and didn't stop for 2-3 months. Classic higher need baby. (He has slept through the night since about 18m or so, though - I don't really remember.) When people asked me about him, I just said something like "No, but he sleeps with us, so it's no big deal." No one really said much after that.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ebensmama*
My baby is a 6 week old nursling, and people ask me if he sleeps through the night, then give me sympathy when I say no.







: I don't *want* him to sleep through the night. It'd kill the milk supply that we are working so hard to sustain.

No snappy comebacks, though I'd like some. I just explain that he's a milk monkey and that I'm happy to be able to nourish him at whatever time of day he's hungry.

Depending on how nice you need to be to the questioner, how about "well, since he'd *die* if he didn't wake up and eat through out the night, we're *very* grateful that he doesn't sleep through the night."?

Or if you want to be nicer "It's been a while since you've spent time with a newborn, hasn't it? They *need* to eat frequently for proper development."

Edited to add:
Sorry everyone, this wasn't meant as a criticism of babies that sleep through the night and eat less, babies eat and sleep when they need to, and parents just need to make that possible. This was supposed to be a snarky comment to respond to pushy idiots who were critisizing Ebensmommy for responding to her son's needs.


----------



## peaceful_mama

at my friend's ds's first b-day, both of our babies are a year now.

her baby's grandma asked what the boys eat and was SHOCKED when we said 'whatever we eat'...they're 11 and 12 months with 4 and 6 teeth! They hadn't eaten 'mush' in MONTHS. Why should they? Would YOU eat strained mashed, unseasoned peas? 
Well, not 'whatever' they don't eat junk food, but they eat REAL food as opposed to unrecognizable junk from a jar that they tell you is supposed to be chicken stew or whatever. They eat actual chicken stew with recognizable soft cooked chicken and veggies thanks.

The way she looked at us you would've thought we feed them cupcakes for breakfast daily or something....what is it that people think Gerber has magic nutrients that make it better for a baby or soemthing??


----------



## Amaryllis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zakers_mama*
at my friend's ds's first b-day, both of our babies are a year now.

her baby's grandma asked what the boys eat and was SHOCKED when we said 'whatever we eat'...they're 11 and 12 months with 4 and 6 teeth! They hadn't eaten 'mush' in MONTHS. Why should they? Would YOU eat strained mashed, unseasoned peas? 
Well, not 'whatever' they don't eat junk food, but they eat REAL food as opposed to unrecognizable junk from a jar that they tell you is supposed to be chicken stew or whatever. They eat actual chicken stew with recognizable soft cooked chicken and veggies thanks.

The way she looked at us you would've thought we feed them cupcakes for breakfast daily or something....what is it that people think Gerber has magic nutrients that make it better for a baby or soemthing??

huh. well don't be too harsh on grannie...maybe she had kids like my daughter, who still can't eat everything we eat at 2.5 as she is sensitive to a lot of things. She basically only nursed until she was 12 months anyways, and wasn't interested in food except for playing with. I bet that Grannie doesn't assume that most adults are healthy enough eaters to be feeding their kids what they eat. Did she actually mention Gerber? She might be thinking more like KFC instead of home cooked chicken stew, and actually have the kids' best interests in mind!










edited to add:

I don't have an exact reference on hand, but there is some thought that exposure to certain foods too early can cause allergies to them later...
I wouldn't take a baby having teeth to mean that they are ready to eat whatever we are eating. My little cousin was BORN teething! Also, many many times I got - "What? you're still nursing and she has teeth??" She was 6 months old.







:
Once at a wake, I saw a 1.5 yr old plunked in a high chair with the complete smorgasboard in front of her: "ambrosia", sliced ham, salad covered in ranch dressing, a slice of lasagna, a huge brownie, garlic bread, and some other foodstuff I did not recognize. Her parents actually said, "Yup. She gets whatever we get." I was SHOCKED!!! AND she ate it all!!!


----------



## peaceful_mama

nah my friend said her ds went to stay with g-ma overnight once about a month before that (11 mos or close to it) and she insisted on buying a bunch of the jars and feeding those to him even though she told him he didn't like jar food anymore and then complained that he wouldn't eat. He eats! He's just like my baby and wants the REAL deal. That's where the 'why do people think Gerber's got magical vitamins or something?' came in.

this particular night though, you're probably right as they were debating on going to the pizza buffet or ordering in their chicken and pizza, with some mashed potatoes. We should've gone to the buffet as our kids would've eaten fruit and maybe veggies depending on what there was off the salad bar and they usually have something like green beans up with the chicken and potatoes.....we didn't. BUt in the grand scheme of things, that's ONE meal.


----------



## peaceful_mama

I am fully aware of that school of thought. My son did not and does not receive an unlicensed *everything*. I was WAY strict when he was younger and caught a lot of flak on how he would starve if he did not get mashed potatoes and jello AT FIVE MONTHS OLD!!

There is also a school of thought that says there is a window for beginning to *introduce* solids and not develop oral aversion, and that giving strictly bland foods leads to picky eating habits and may also contribute to the development of food allergies.

And before anyone says it, no that does not mean you have to introduce solids prior to 6 months old. What I have read and paid attention to recommends a minimum of 6 months but maximum of 9. And "introduction" doesn't mean "strict schedule" or "specific amounts" or "meals." It can mean you give your 7-8 month old a few bites of well cooked mashed carrot, and maybe you make a few extra to give over the course of a few days while you wait to make sure there's no bad reaction to carrots. It might mean you wait and do chunks or slices of say, ripe pear or banana when they're ready.

I personally think a lot of people confuse 'introducing' with implementing a schedule of meals when what it really means is a bite or two if that's all they want. I don't think they *need* a regular schedule of solid offerings until they're ready for it. They'll let you know, my son did.

I just don't see what a jar of pureed junk has to do with learning to chew and eat.


----------



## peaceful_mama

also my babe does not get cheese or milk as I haven't ruled out an intolerance. He won't have nuts in any form for awhile yet. So it's not a free for all just that he does get real food.


----------



## Amaryllis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zakers_mama*
her baby's grandma asked what the boys eat and was SHOCKED when we said 'whatever we eat'...they're 11 and 12 months with 4 and 6 teeth!

Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you, that wasn't a personal attack on your child rearing, I was just trying to offer some suggestions as to why somebody might looked shocked at the suggestion that an 11 or 12 month old baby gets to eat "whatever we eat", and since I'm an AP mom whose kid never ate Gerber purees, for some reason thought that might carry a little more weight. And really, as you have explained, he doesn't get to eat whatever you eat.

Now if the grannie had actually said, "Oh but honey, WHY are you depriving your darling son of Gerber's magic vitamins???" I might have been


----------



## mum5

Yesterday we were in the library that we frequent, and one of the librarians made a comment about my dd1, who is 2 1/2 ( she was behaving really wildly ) that she was probably PMSing??????
What?
So, I asked her what she meant, and she said that if she was acting this way, it was probably the way that she will be when she gets her period when she is older.

Um, ok then.


----------



## mamabohl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ella-makes-3*
Yesterday we were in the library that we frequent, and one of the librarians made a comment about my dd1, who is 2 1/2 ( she was behaving really wildly ) that she was probably PMSing??????
What?
So, I asked her what she meant, and she said that if she was acting this way, it was probably the way that she will be when she gets her period when she is older.

Um, ok then.









that's a new one!


----------



## Raynbow

lol... the best one about breastfeeding is, "My kids were all breastfed and they got sick and have allergies anyway! So all that stuff about breastfeeding making kids healthier is nonsense!" (This is almost ALWAYS a dad...)

My response is, "Imagine how sickly they'd be now if they HADN'T been breastfed!" *or* "And how long were they breastfed? Hmm, wonder if your wife nursed them til [1yr/2yr/CLW] if they'd have even FEWER allergies/illness!"
(Sometimes I will even launch into how breastfeeding REDUCES the risk of illness and allergies... not that it is an instant "cure-all")


----------



## peaceful_mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Staraklaw*
Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you, that wasn't a personal attack on your child rearing, I was just trying to offer some suggestions as to why somebody might looked shocked at the suggestion that an 11 or 12 month old baby gets to eat "whatever we eat", and since I'm an AP mom whose kid never ate Gerber purees, for some reason thought that might carry a little more weight. And really, as you have explained, he doesn't get to eat whatever you eat.

Now if the grannie had actually said, "Oh but honey, WHY are you depriving your darling son of Gerber's magic vitamins???" I might have been









eh, np....I should've been a little clearer that I meant an AP 'whatever' as opposed to a mainstream 'whatever.' There's also the history there with my friend leaving her babe with grandma and being told he 'wouldn't eat' when he was offered the Gerber instead of his usual food.

I did do a few of the veggies and stuff at first...I'm still learning and I know I'm going to get flak with what I plan to do for the next one--I'm absolutely NOT buying ANY jars, the baby can eat food when the baby can eat FOOD. (fork mashed banana, avocado, we're not doing sugar...I mean cereal. They're ready for it when they can chew it in a recognizable form thanks.) I KNOW I'll get 'oh but that baby NEEDS'...and I know because I already got it when I was 'depriving' my 5 mo old of mashed potatoes and jello. (I don't do jello anyway, we're Muslim, it's a pork thing, but even if I did, I wouldn't be feeding it to a FIVE MONTH OLD.) And I'm sure I'm 'depriving' him because he's never had things like a chicken nugget or a McD's burger...he's ONE YEAR OLD. He doesn't know what a McDonalds' IS yet.

My baby's other strange little quirk is I can't feed him anything with black pepper. He pukes anywhere from right after eating to 4 hours later. Apparently, it's inherited...I always thought DH just didn't *like* black pepper, turns out he can't eat it, gets indigestion, and can tell within 2 bites if something's got it in it and his entire family is like this! (OK to be fair all of my inlaws live in Sudan or the Middle East, the most contact I've had with them is a couple of translated phone conversations, that's why I didn't know this about them!)
This is a recent discovery, about 2 weeks ago...I thought he had some strange flu that for some reason skipped a day and other than one puking session a day, he was fine.....once DH mentioned the black pepper thing, I eliminated that and he IS fine. I'm giving the pepper thing to my parents....WHITE pepper on the other hand, he tolerates. Go figure.


----------



## NYCVeg

This is just kind of funny. I'm nine weeks pregnant and waking up a couple of times each night to pee. So I say to MIL: "Well, I guess it's just nature's way of preparing me for when the baby gets here." MIL replies: "Oh, you don't need to worry about that. B_______ (her and dh's last name) babies sleep through the night from the beginning."

(Now...it is true that her two kids DID sleep through the night from the beginning. Dh was apparently some kind of crazy sleeper and would sleep 9 or 10 hours straight every night once they brought him home.)

I'm DYING to say to her: "Well, maybe B______ babies sleep through the night, but breastfed babies don't." But MIL and I get along very well, so I try to avoid snark.


----------



## Crunchier

candiland
I got all the typical faves said:


> https://www.mothering.com/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif[/IMG] Um, yeah. Lemme tell ya just how pleasurable it is...


So, then are mom's of kids who are still in diapers at age 4 getting off on Pampers? And the binky in kindergarten, that's fetish too I suppose?


----------



## alegna

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NYCVeg*
I'm DYING to say to her: "Well, maybe B______ babies sleep through the night, but breastfed babies don't." But MIL and I get along very well, so I try to avoid snark.









Watch out! You never know what you'll get! My dd has pretty much slept through the night since day 1. (there are exceptions, but for the most part) And she was totally breastfed- never had a bottle or pacifier- and has been next to an available breast every single night of her life... they're all different....









-Angela


----------



## Crunchier

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamajo2004*
This is dumb but in a cute way. We have a friend who is so sweet but very naive and clueless sometimes (childless as well). When my ds was born he came to see him in the hospital, picked him up while he was sleeping and asked "When does he open his eyes?". I was a little confused and said "When he wakes up?". And then I realized what he was asking and I said "...did you think he was a kitten?" lol









In my Human Development class last week, my professor made a point of passing on to us that human infants are born with their eyes _open_. I thought it was a little odd, but I guess some ppl don't know that?


----------



## Crunchier

Quote:


Originally Posted by *klothos*

i'm still wondering where people get the idea that cloth is worse on the environment than disposables.










before switching to cloth I'd heard all these arguments about the evils of cloth. Cotton growing requires tons of chemicals-this is true, but then I guess we should stop wearing t shirts, panties, bras, tighty whities and jeans too, cloth diapers cause rashes and UTIs and have to be washed 9 times in bleach and harsh detergent, then they wear out in a few months and have to be replaced. Oh, and they leak all the time, so they increase the rest of your laundry as well.

Of course it's all amazingly bogus. I have 2 diapers migrating about the psych department at my university right now for the less informed to get acquainted with, a Fuzzibunz and a pfd in a dappi cover. Most ppl didn't even know what they were.


----------



## Crunchier

Quote:


Originally Posted by *melixxa*
Wow, this thread is still alive. I like that ... it stayed active long enough for me to add something!

I live in a pretty progressive area, where it's business as usual to see slings of every shape and size and meet people who homebirth and EBF, so dumb comments are essentially few and far between. But there's one thing I've gotten several times nevertheless. It's whenever my boy is wearing white or pretty pale colors, and it's happened more since I started using my pink-orange-blue-red-green-fuschia-turquoise-yellow striped Maya wrap (the fuschia's pretty dominant in there) more often: People will refer to him as "she," and once I correct them they will say, "Oh, I'm SO sorry!" as if mistaking him for a girl (at 10 months no less) were extremely offensive. I think it's weird because 1) it's a mistake anyone can make; we all make these mistakes on a daily basis - it's not like babies were born with "I'm a boy" branded on their foreheads, and 2) why should it be so offensive to be mistaken for a girl, as if that were a terrible insult to my baby's manhood?? I wonder if it's the same in the other direction - do people overapologize when they've mistaken a girl for a boy? Anyway, I think this is weird. Not the apology, of course, but the vehemence of it. It's funny how uncomfortable people become as a result of (even the least controversial) gender stuff.


I dressed ben in gender neutral baby clothes ( which he outgreww in about 5 minutes) and try to find less masculine boy's clothes (esp because he's been in them since he was like 6 months old, and seriously, does he have to wear little football uniforms everyday?). People would always mistake him for a girl. I never corrected them because IMO babies are pretty much genderless. When they realized that he was a boy, they'd always freak out a little and apologize profusely. Obviously it's not a big deal to me, or I wouldn't have dressed him in pink, KWIM?

One that I hate is "He's so pretty, It's too bad he's not a girl." Um yeah. It sucks to have a good looking boy.









Dh's GMA always goes on about how we need to have a girl because she'll have beautiful red hair(which I think is a curse-having it myself). We told her I'm pg this weekend and it was literally the FIRST thing she said.









I hope if we do have a girl that she has dark hair like dh!

this is also the woman who told me that I'd always love Ben most, because he's my first, and can't believe that Dh's adoptive family (his father's side) actually LOVE him. Can you believe loving a child who was part of your family from birth? crazy notion. everyone knows love is determined by genetic similarity.


----------



## jenP

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zakers_mama*

I just don't see what a jar of pureed junk has to do with learning to chew and eat.

ITA. My reasoning is, if the "solid food" is watered down, mashed, strained, and sweetened then what does it resemble? Milk! And if the baby can only handle food that is made to the texture and taste of milk, then maybe the baby is really only ready to handle milk and should only get milk, which is far more nutritious than that crap in the jars anyway.(I am talking about human milk here.) If the child can't handle a little texture then he isn't really ready to eat actual food. WHy feed that jarred stuff just for the sake of saying the baby is "eating solids"?

Jen


----------



## Amaryllis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Crunchier*
Dh's GMA always goes on about how we need to have a girl because she'll have beautiful red hair(which I think is a curse-having it myself). We told her I'm pg this weekend and it was literally the FIRST thing she said.

I hope if we do have a girl that she has dark hair like dh!

AAAAK! Have some Gaelic Pride, woman! Red Rocks!


----------



## jrayn

Originally Posted by mamajo2004
This is dumb but in a cute way. We have a friend who is so sweet but very naive and clueless sometimes (childless as well). When my ds was born he came to see him in the hospital, picked him up while he was sleeping and asked "When does he open his eyes?". I was a little confused and said "When he wakes up?". And then I realized what he was asking and I said "...did you think he was a kitten?" lol

when my aunt had her baby she had our family friend videotape it, she is a veterinarian and she asked the same question! "when do their eyes open?"


----------



## peaceful_mama

LMAO at the eye-opening discussion!!

On the solid food discussion, which *I* started again







...aren't babies ready to eat food when they can, well, um, eat food? That's going to be my line with the next one "The baby will eat food when the baby can chew food, thanks." (now to me, mashed sweet potatoes count as food, cause I eat them too, so this could be like 6-7 months...as in a few bites if I have some!)
Mashed avocado also counts as food, except as an adult I put a bit of jalapeno, some tomato, onion, salt, pepper, lemon juice, and call it guacamole! 

On the 'pretty boy' discussion....Check out my boy's pic down there in that sig. I get told ALL THE TIME it's such a shame he's not a girl with those eyelashes and that curly hair. My SIL's best friend tells me every time she sees him he should've been a girl he's so pretty....well OK I take that back, not at his birthday! LOL so that makes the first time in his little life....

What's wrong with a good looking guy? Yeah, he might never care he's got those eyelashes, but I guarantee someday somebody besides his mama will....


----------



## nhklh

We get the "should've been a girl" thing with DS too. I don't see why only girls get to be goodlooking. DS has lovely blue eyes, the cutest face and gorgeous blonde curls.


----------



## pjlioness

Both of our ds's have long hair, so nearly everyone thinks they are girls. If I pull their hair back, people have an easier time seeing the boyishness in their faces. People see the long hair and look no further.









I NEVER assume the sex of a young child, unless their clothing is absolutely obvious, and even then I usually how old they are neutrally, i.e., "How old is this little one?"

I find that "too cute to be a boy" insulting.


----------



## indiana ima

my son is in kindergarten and his schoolfriend "Megan" lives around the corner. lunch is so early that the kids don't eat as much as they should, and Megan's mother and i both find that frustrating. Megan's mother, as a matter of fact, has put together that Megan behaves well in the afternoon when she eats lunch, and behaves poorly when she doesn't. she's tried to explain this to Megan, but Megan doesn't get it.

i was telling this story to a rather "earnest" friend, and she interrupted to ask if perhaps Megan had some undiagnosed allergy and her mother was inadvertantly feeding her food that made her feel bad, or if Megan might hate school and was acting out in the only way she could.

i was able to say that no, Megan has told her mother the following: "but Mommy, i don't have enough time to eat AND talk, and i really want to talk!"

some folks can't seem to remember that a five year old is only five, and they really do make mistakes all on their own. i thought my earnest friend's attitude was hilarious.


----------



## Crunchier

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Blessed81902*
so what was I supposed to do when he started doing that...never hold him upright? oi vei










ben started pulling up at like 5 months, and cruising at 7 months. I guess if I'd kept him strapped into a bouncy seat like I was _supposed_ to he wouldn't have had that _problem_. BTW, He's not bowlegged at all.


----------



## paquerette

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lula's Mom*
I've never heard of it either! It's kind of cute to buy the baby a present for getting the first tooth. Why shoes, I wonder?

I guess because the first tooth is likely to show up shortly before starting to walk, and people thought (heck, some still do) that it was good to put shoes on learning-to-walk feet.

On what tradition, it may be Italian. We're not, but my grandma grew up in an Italian community so our family has a lot of their traditions. DH's Polish family hadn't heard of it.


----------



## NYCVeg

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alegna*
Watch out! You never know what you'll get! My dd has pretty much slept through the night since day 1. (there are exceptions, but for the most part) And she was totally breastfed- never had a bottle or pacifier- and has been next to an available breast every single night of her life... they're all different....









-Angela

A girl can dream...









MIL actually told me that after dh was born, the nurse at the hospital took one look at him and said, "This boy is scream all day long, but sleep through the night." And he did. Very weird.


----------



## mollyeilis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Raynbow*
lol... the best one about breastfeeding is, "My kids were all breastfed and they got sick and have allergies anyway! So all that stuff about breastfeeding making kids healthier is nonsense!" (This is almost ALWAYS a dad...)

My response is, "Imagine how sickly they'd be now if they HADN'T been breastfed!" *or* "And how long were they breastfed? Hmm, wonder if your wife nursed them til [1yr/2yr/CLW] if they'd have even FEWER allergies/illness!"
(Sometimes I will even launch into how breastfeeding REDUCES the risk of illness and allergies... not that it is an instant "cure-all")


I resemble that remark!

Even though I was breastfed until I was four years old, I did *not* choose to wean...was weaned twice, once when my mom was pregnant with my bro, and then again when the little stinker self-weaned. I had managed to convince her that two babies and two sipsips was perfect, but alas she HAD to go back to work and there was no convincing her to continue to let me nurse after brother had weaned.









So I was weaned before I wanted...

Also they introduced *something* in a cup with a spoon at 2 *months*. I don't know what other foods were given or how early (mom is now dead and dad is unreliable), but the pictures do not lie.

And I had allergies to dairy and eggs (two main sources of protein and nutrition, other than breastmilk, for our very poor years), I have all sorts of environmental sensitivities, and I'm not the hardiest of humans.









Once I was weaned at 4 I started getting sick. Ear infections, Scarlet Fever, you name it I basically had it. (Who the heck gets Scarlet Fever anymore? Only other person I ever heard of getting it was Laura Ingalls' sister.







)

So all I can say is *thank goodness* I was nursed until I was four; there's no telling if I'd be alive if I hadn't been!


----------



## Crunchier

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LongLiveLife*
Oooooh, I get it. It's like the tree falling in the forrest when nobody's around...
if you don't hear him cry, he's sleeping through the night.
Sounds like she lives in a very magical place!!!










I had a similarly weird conversation. I was at school whining to my classmates about Ben. He was fussing in his sleep all night and it kept me awake.







He was in his toddler bed in our room. I mentioned that I knew it wasn't a big deal and if he was in another room, I wouldn't have even heard it.

Another girl ( who I didn't know) has a dd the same age (2), and told me that her dd sleeps in her room, and she has the monitor turned all the way up so she could every sound her dd made. I said something about "Oh, well then you must be just as tired going to comfort her etc" She says "Oh, NO, I don't go to her!"









Ok, why have the monitor tuned all the way up if you AREN'T going to go her her when she cries? "SO I can HEAR her!"







:

The weirdest part was the tone. She all of this in a very argumentative way as if she was really setting me straight. I don't get it at all.


----------



## Crunchier

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Staraklaw*
AAAAK! Have some Gaelic Pride, woman! Red Rocks!


I would just prefer my children be judged for their character and not the color of their hair. Few ppl in the life of a red haired child ever get past it. I was always "the red haired girl", and ppl assumed that I was like all the other red haired girls they had ever known.


----------



## sapphire_chan

What would you think if someone gave you, about the time your little one was learning to walk, some nice warm knitted slippers with anti-skid stuff on the soles in winter, and coupons for clearing your yard of sharp things in summer? I could see doing a whole little basket of "the year XXXX learned to walk" with walking related things.


----------



## ElektroChik

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jenneyrebecca*
My MIL and SIL absolutely insisted that I had to give my son a pacifier or he would find his thumb (gasp!) ..and if he found his thumb he would never give it up. And then (this is the best part), you can take away the pacifier but you can't take away his thumb! Through the fog of postpartum, I had nothing to say except I'm the mom and I'm a stubborn bull, so leave me alone (or something like that), but someone pointed out later that don't they suck their thumbs in the womb?


We have an ultrasound picture of my daughter sucking her thumb! My mom, who's a speech therapist, learned in a conference, that sucking your thumb, in the womb, is a sign of healthy emotional development.

With that said, my daughter, 11 months old now, has not taken to a pacifier or her thumb since we have always nursed on demand and coslept.

I, on the other hand, sucked my thumb 'til I was 5 and stopped on my fifth birthday. I also never had braces.







So, what's the big deal with thumb sucking anyways?


----------



## ElektroChik

Oh yes.. when my daughter was 7 months old, I had an older lady advise me not to lift my daughter up by her ankles (hanging upside down) because all the blood would rush to her head and she would get a mental illness.









What.. huh????


----------



## RosieTook

Quote:

because all the blood would rush to her head and she would get a mental illness
Yes, because it's _BAD_ to supply blood to the brain!


----------



## Shenjall

But why would one pick up their child by their ankles anyway?









I forgot one!

My dd's cold turned into a wee bit of impetigo around her mouth. My mom freaked! "How did she get that? When was she playing in dirt? Thats where impetigo comes from you know?!"

Hmm...I thought it came from a virus but apprently its dirt. You learn something new every day, like my mom is nuts. (just kidding, I already knew that...







)


----------



## Irishmommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan*
Depending on how nice you need to be to the questioner, how about "well, since he'd *die* if he didn't wake up and eat through out the night, we're *very* grateful that he doesn't sleep through the night."?

Or if you want to be nicer "It's been a while since you've spent time with a newborn, hasn't it? They *need* to eat frequently for proper development."

Funny, both my strong healthy children slept through the night at 6 weeks, and neither of them are dead, and both have developed properly.


----------



## nikirj

OK, I do think *die* is a bit much, especially since all three of mine started out with hefty chuncks of sleep at night (6 hours - that's 'through the night' by technical definition, right?), and obviously, as abhorrent as newborn CIO is, they very rarely DIE and when they do, it isn't for lack of food. This is such a sad subject I shouldn't have typed that...

I did get sick this week from digging in the dirt! (I'm pretty sure.) Although I've never known my kids to. They seem to get sick from other kids. And licking things in public









I don't know if this has been covered, but how about this one:

"If he just walks and doesn't crawl that means he's retarded." OMG.

And one said to my mom (2 yo me standing there parrotting everything the adults were saying, I have no memory of WHY...)

"That means she's retarded you know." (Yes, obviously....)


----------



## Mummoth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shenjall*
But why would one pick up their child by their ankles anyway?









My DD is 16 months & I pick her up like that sometimes! My kids both love being upside down. My whole family is mentally ill though, so maybe that'll make them normal... ?


----------



## Einhorn

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mollyeilis*
I resemble that remark!

Once I was weaned at 4 I started getting sick. Ear infections, Scarlet Fever, you name it I basically had it. (Who the heck gets Scarlet Fever anymore? Only other person I ever heard of getting it was Laura Ingalls' sister.







)


My sister had it when she was little, and every time we got strep throat they worried it would turn into Scarlet Fever again. she was very sick as a kid, many hospital stays. I don't think it's that common anymore though.


----------



## Einhorn

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shenjall*
But why would one pick up their child by their ankles anyway?










Besides the fact that my kids really like it, it is a poor-man's chiropracter -- it helps straighten out any kinks and gently stretch the spine. nice when they fall on their bottoms a lot and compress it all together.


----------



## Shenjall

Quote:

My DD is 16 months & I pick her up like that sometimes! My kids both love being upside down. My whole family is mentally ill though, so maybe that'll make them normal... ?










To drive me crazy, dh "balances" our kids on his one hand (when they were babies). It makes me so freaken nervous!


----------



## Shenjall

The funny thing is, we HAVE picked up our kids like that when playing around, the pp wording just made me laugh like thats the "only" way to pick up your kid. YK?









Like the time me, dh and my sis were talking ang my sis was saying something about men waxing their .....scrotum. Dh asked "why would a man want to wax there?" Her reply? "so we wont have to shave, duh?!".

Um..not quite the question he was asking...









But you'll have to fogive me, I had 4 wisdom teeth taken out and I'm on some lovely painkillers that make me loopy.


----------



## nikirj

re - scarlet fever - when strep throat was going around DD's school last year they sent us a fact sheet. It does still happen. It is still nearly as common. It just isn't as dangerous with more available medication.


----------



## janerose

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ElektroChik*
Oh yes.. when my daughter was 7 months old, I had an older lady advise me not to lift my daughter up by her ankles (hanging upside down) because all the blood would rush to her head and she would get a mental illness.









What.. huh????

DD loves to be picked up like that too! My Gram also made a comment about it. She thought that it would cause like a hemorrhage or stroke or something.







Said she'd even read about that happening to a kid. I think the article she was talking about though was on a little kid just south of us who was killed when his mother's boyfriend shook him, beat him up, and yes hung him upside down too. I suppose in that case hanging your kid upside down by their ankles could in fact cause a problem.... =(


----------



## pjlioness

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shenjall*
But why would one pick up their child by their ankles anyway?

Actually, my chiropractor suggested we do this (gently) every day with ds2 when he was a newborn, and Dr. Sears recommends it in The Baby Book to sooth fussy babes.

Ds1 loved it when he was a baby.


----------



## mamabohl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nikirj*

They seem to get sick from other kids. And licking things in public









hahahahaha

Quote:

"If he just walks and doesn't crawl that means he's retarded." OMG.
I've heard/read that babies who don't crawl at all have trouble with reading later in life. Something about hand-eye coordination...It's been associated with dyslexia.

Ok, here's one i got today that was just funny. Today was ds' one year check up...The nurse saw his cd and asked if we were potty training! A one year old? Um..no...this is a CLOTH DIAPER. LOL. She didn't know they made them like that! The doctor, on the other hand, put the snappi and cover back on t\like a pro and didn't blink an eye at my hot pink cover on my BOY.


----------



## pjlioness

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamabohl*
The doctor, on the other hand, put the snappi and cover back on t\like a pro and didn't blink an eye at my hot pink cover on my BOY.

















Doc!


----------



## Mickiswing

we were at the doctor for dd#2's four month weigh in and 2 year old dd was having a hard time behaving herself. She was having a hard time listening and kept trying to run out of the room, opening the cabinet doors, etc, after I had asked her not to several times. As we were leaving, one of the nurses tried to give her a sucker. I told the nurse that we wouldn't be taking a sucker home today, and she got all snippety at me.
Nurse: "We always give the kids suckers!"
Me: "Not without asking the parents first, I hope."
Nurse: "Well, yeah, what's the big deal?"
Me: "First off, we teach our kids not to take things from strangers, especially candy. Second, we don't reward negative behavior in our family. Third, you should NEVER give any type of food to a child without asking their parents first. Fourth, you're a doctors office and supposed to keep kids healthy! Why on earth are you giving them candy!!"

The nurse basically rolled her eyes at me and I'm sure they had a nice little chat about me after I left.

The doctor on the other hand, I was surprised with. He was enthralled with our cloth diapers and even asked if his wife could call me and find out more about them. Of course I said yes







He said that around four months most parents start giving their babies solid foods and was curious to see what we were going to do. When I told him that we would wait a while before trying, he got this huge grin on his face! I couldn't figure out why it was so amusing and he said, "Ya know, I think you're the most down to earth mom I've ever seen in here. Most parents are trying to force solids into baby at two months old! Good for you for having your baby's best interest at heart!"

Now that made my day!


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cybele*
Besides the fact that my kids really like it, it is a poor-man's chiropracter -- it helps straighten out any kinks and gently stretch the spine. nice when they fall on their bottoms a lot and compress it all together.

Yep, that's what we did when my dd was a newborn, her hips weren't quite aligned so the midwives showed us how to hold dd by the ankles to help get them aligned.

Plus, my dd LOVES to be held upside down


----------



## kater07

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shenjall*
But why would one pick up their child by their ankles anyway?









We pick up both our kids by the ankles all the time - doing it since they were tiny. It's the sweetest thing to hear DD or DS squeal with laughter at seeing Daddy upsidedown. I often hang DD upsidedown by the ankles or the waist in front of DH and she will grab his face and bite his nose.

It's fun... <shrug>


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Irishmommy*
Funny, both my strong healthy children slept through the night at 6 weeks, and neither of them are dead, and both have developed properly.

ACK!!! Sorry sorry sorrry!!!! I meant to use on idiots who knew *nothing*. Babies eat and sleep as they need to be as healthy as possible and parents should arrange things so that babies can do so, like you did with your babies.

Going to edit post. Sorry!


----------



## Amaryllis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Crunchier*
I would just prefer my children be judged for their character and not the color of their hair. Few ppl in the life of a red haired child ever get past it. I was always "the red haired girl", and ppl assumed that I was like all the other red haired girls they had ever known.

I'm really sorry, I just don't get it. Is that like if you are dark skinned and you hope your kid comes out looking white so their life is somehow easier?
And what are the _other_ red haired girls like???

I'm a red head, I have never felt this way, and I never have been exposed to this discrimination, whatever it is. Unless you consider being called carrot-top terrible. But after my mom said they were idiots, because carrot tops are green, well I never paid that remark any mind.

I'm curious, where did you grow up? Was it somewhere without many redheads and everybody had dark hair so you really stood out?

I've always had lots of comments on how people love the color of my hair, and the same with my daughter, though hers is a bit blonder than mine.

And although the lady does seem a bit, uh, nuts, what with the adoption/no love thing, she was giving you a complement... saying that your hair is beautiful, and I can't see how saying your hair is beautiful and that she hopes your child will have equally beautiful hair could be considered one of the "worst/dumbest things anyone has ever said to you"!!

Gosh, this has really blown my mind.


----------



## ElektroChik

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mickiswing*
we were at the doctor for dd#2's four month weigh in and 2 year old dd was having a hard time behaving herself. She was having a hard time listening and kept trying to run out of the room, opening the cabinet doors, etc, after I had asked her not to several times. As we were leaving, one of the nurses tried to give her a sucker. I told the nurse that we wouldn't be taking a sucker home today, and she got all snippety at me.
Nurse: "We always give the kids suckers!"
Me: "Not without asking the parents first, I hope."
Nurse: "Well, yeah, what's the big deal?"
Me: "First off, we teach our kids not to take things from strangers, especially candy. Second, we don't reward negative behavior in our family. Third, you should NEVER give any type of food to a child without asking their parents first. Fourth, you're a doctors office and supposed to keep kids healthy! Why on earth are you giving them candy!!"

The nurse basically rolled her eyes at me and I'm sure they had a nice little chat about me after I left.


BRAVO!! BRAVO!!


----------



## jeannineb

These are great, or should I say horrible!! LOL! I haven't had time to read through all of the posts, but here's my contribution.

My DD was about 5 weeks old and started having tiny amounts of blood streaked in her poop. I called my ped. (whom I love and is very supportive of BF). She wasn't in that day so I had to see the P.A., who is very nice, but very young and inexperienced. She did a culture of the stool and asked me a bunch of questions about what she had been eating, and I think was surprised when I said *just* breastmilk! Anyway, not getting an answer I did my own research and found out about dairy sensitivity and cut dairy out of my diet. Just to be safe I asked my BIL and SIL, (both Dr.s, but not peds) they said they would check with their ped friend. They called me back and said my DD was ALLERGIC to my breastmilk and to stop breastfeeding! This was the best that 3 Dr.s could come up with! I said nature wouldn't do that to a baby! Then they said that it could be a dairy thing and try to pump and dump for 3 weeks and try again. I said, why would I do that when it will probably take about 3 weeks to clear up on its own with just me eliminating dairy, isn't that much simpler?

Needless to say, I don't ask them medical questions about my DD anymore and they don't bring up BF around me either!


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jeannineb*
They called me back and said my DD was ALLERGIC to my breastmilk and to stop breastfeeding! This was the best that 3 Dr.s could come up with!

I will never understand how people can honestly believe that. Do they just not think about it logically? I mean, wouldn't being allergic to breastmilk be a death sentence for a baby? I don't know, it just really







: It seems like a lack of common sense.


----------



## Mummoth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Staraklaw*
I'm really sorry, I just don't get it. Is that like if you are dark skinned and you hope your kid comes out looking white so their life is somehow easier?
And what are the _other_ red haired girls like???

I'm a red head, I have never felt this way, and I never have been exposed to this discrimination, whatever it is. Unless you consider being called carrot-top terrible. But after my mom said they were idiots, because carrot tops are green, well I never paid that remark any mind.

I'm curious, where did you grow up? Was it somewhere without many redheads and everybody had dark hair so you really stood out?

I've always had lots of comments on how people love the color of my hair, and the same with my daughter, though hers is a bit blonder than mine.

And although the lady does seem a bit, uh, nuts, what with the adoption/no love thing, she was giving you a complement... saying that your hair is beautiful, and I can't see how saying your hair is beautiful and that she hopes your child will have equally beautiful hair could be considered one of the "worst/dumbest things anyone has ever said to you"!!

Gosh, this has really blown my mind.

I'm a redhead & I kind of get it. To answer your questions: apparently _other_ red haired girls are promiscuous, at least once I hit my teen years. Earlier in my life, we lived in an area where I was the only fair person (my sister has sort of olive skin & brown hair) One day I was upset because the other kids were calling me "Red Head" (in a taunting way) and my sister said "Tomorrow _we're_ going to call _them_ blackheads!!!"(she didn't know what a blackhead was) *Neither* of my kids have red hair, but if they're with me, people make comments like they do. It's weird... like they're looking really hard to see the slightest hint of red in their hair or something. Most of the things people say about my hair colour aren't the worst/dumbest I've heard... just tired & unoriginal for-the-sake-of-flapping-their-gums kind of stuff.


----------



## veganpapi

What a great thread! I'm a long-time lurker but I couldn't pass up posting this little gem:

A few months ago, when DW was about 6 months pregnant, I was talking to a male coworker with two young kids of his own.

Coworker: So, have you guys started your Lamaze classes yet?
Me: Actually, we're taking natural childbirth classes - the method's called Birthing from Within.
_I'm thinking: Why do people assume that if you're taking childbirth classes, they must be Lamaze?_
Coworker: So you're gonna make her do one of those all-natural births?
Me: It's something we both want - she's very passionate about it.
_I'm thinking: So women only have drug-free births if their husbands/partners *make* them? Where did he get that?_
Coworker: Take it from me, man, if you love your wife, you guys should just go ahead and plan on getting the epidural.
Me: We'll see how it goes
_I'm thinking: So, if my wife has a NCB, I don't love her?







I mean, I can kind of understand, it's hard to see someone you love in so much pain. But still..._

He's a really nice guy and I know he meant well. He just seemed clueless that childbirth could be anything but the standard medical model. I was too amused to be insulted - and it made a great anecdote to share at our childbirth class!









By the way - we ended up having a completely med-free birth, 9 hours of labor, and DW was amazing (as were our wonderful midwife and doula)


----------



## MelissaEvans

Jim,

Congrats to you and your wife!
I got comments like "When you ask for your epidural..." that just ticked me off. I think it was a bit of shame on their side and they didn't want to look weak. Just a guess.


----------



## boingo82

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jeannineb*
..They called me back and said my DD was ALLERGIC to my breastmilk and to stop breastfeeding! This was the best that 3 Dr.s could come up with! I said nature wouldn't do that to a baby! Then they said that it could be a dairy thing and try to pump and dump for 3 weeks and try again. ...

So I suppose you were supposed to use a dairy-based formula while you were pumping/dumping?


----------



## jeannineb

Quote:


Originally Posted by *boingo82*
So I suppose you were supposed to use a dairy-based formula while you were pumping/dumping?









Exactly!! Can you imagine how well that would have gone? Giving my milk sensitive baby, cow's milk formula, on top of an already irritated GI tract?!! Thank goodness I didn't listen to them and found good information, thanks to Kellymom.com and Dr. Newman







!


----------



## peaceful_mama

veganpapi--sounds like my best friend who tells me I better rethink not letting them induce my next one! (who is not yet conceived...at least I don't *think* so...) She insists her non induced birth was the worst and induction is SO MUCH BETTER because it's shorter. *I* think my son was induced too early (I didn't know much at the time about it all or I never would've agreed to it) and that led to our bf'ing issues.

but oh no I will reconsider it


----------



## Autumn Breeze

Jim, congrats! According to the person you were talking to my dh my *hate* me LOL We ended up with an unplanned unassisted birth for our 2nd child! Dh did the catching while I did all the yelling/pushing. LOL

I'm glad you enjoyed (at least it seems that way) your BFWI class! And obviously put it to great use. And I hope that if the person you were talking with takes a Lamaze class they are suprised by a "New Lamaze" no more hee-hee-hoo crap and some real coping techniques~

**********************************

I have been reading this for DAYS and was on page 13...thinking whew almost done! As only 15 pages were on the "Page 1 2 3" display...and then I clicked "last page" and OMG it's page 58! CRAP no way I'll be able to read all of this thread, but I did enjoy the first 13 pages.

Anyway, I've been waiting to see/hear someone say something stupid to me since my dd was born...and NOTHING. Tuesday we were chased down at the mall by someone asking what dd was in (Hotsling) and where could she get one? Then tonight grocery shopping I got LOTS of looks and "oh how cutes" about dd in her hotsling too. Earlier at the mall today while NIP...no one said anything, and a few people (one old man and one younger man) actually sat near us and had a conversation W/O looking at what dd was doing, and didn't seem put off...though dd was being obvious by popping off (not showing me off to them) and smacking her lips! LOL


----------



## paquerette

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamabohl*
The nurse saw his cd and asked if we were potty training! A one year old? Um..no...

What's so outrageous about that? We started EC at 5 mo and she's a fairly late starter compared to most.









Ooh, I just learned about the hanging upside down to align the spine thing at LLL yesterday.







Bea loves to hang upside down and I thought it was just her being silly... one of the ladies that I really really trust hung her by her ankles and she loved it.







I always yelled at DH for doing that.


----------



## mollyeilis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *paquerette*
What's so outrageous about that? We started EC at 5 mo and she's a fairly late starter compared to most.









Ooh, but EC is not the same thing as potty *training*, correct? Philosophically and in practice, as far as I know, they are not the same thing...


----------



## mamabohl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *paquerette*
What's so outrageous about that? We started EC at 5 mo and she's a fairly late starter compared to most.









Ooh, I just learned about the hanging upside down to align the spine thing at LLL yesterday.







Bea loves to hang upside down and I thought it was just her being silly... one of the ladies that I really really trust hung her by her ankles and she loved it.







I always yelled at DH for doing that.


Oh i think EC is so cool and i wish I'd not been so lazy and gotten started on it when I wanted to....but this woman meant potty training, kwim? She obviously had no idea what EC was.

The whole hanging upside down thing I never knew. Did you know it says NOT to do that in What to Expect the First Year? Stupid book....


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamabohl*
Today was ds' one year check up...The nurse saw his cd and asked if we were potty training! A one year old? Um..no...this is a CLOTH DIAPER. LOL. She didn't know they made them like that! The doctor, on the other hand, put the snappi and cover back on t\like a pro and didn't blink an eye at my hot pink cover on my BOY.









My 15 month old is potty learning *for about 2 months now. So its not that strange


----------



## LianneM

Yesterday I went to a bridal shower. There were a couple of other moms/babies there and everyone BFs, for differing lengths of time. It's awesome that my church is full of BFing moms, I know









So the one girl has a DD who is 9 days older than DS (almost 9months). She mentions something about her not sleeping as well, and says, "I think my milk just isn't as nutritious at night. I give her a bottle (of formula - she has said that pumping is way too much work) and she goes right to sleep."

Um... right. It's nutritious all day but at night, no more.









Then she says something about how it's just as well, b/c as soon as those top teeth come in, she is done. That's what her mother did, so that's what she's going to do.









Then another girl (single, know-it-all type... and I do realize that some single or childless women DO know a LOT, as I was one and was always frustrated that no one took me seriously when I would say things b/c I hadn't BTDT yet... sorry, I digress) piped up with something like, "I think the teeth coming in is God's way of saying that breastfeeding shouldn't last past 6 months or so."


----------



## Shaunam

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LianneM*
Then another girl (single, know-it-all type... and I do realize that some single or childless women DO know a LOT, as I was one and was always frustrated that no one took me seriously when I would say things b/c I hadn't BTDT yet... sorry, I digress) piped up with something like, "I think the teeth coming in is God's way of saying that breastfeeding shouldn't last past 6 months or so."























I would have said, "You DO know that Jesus was breastfed for several YEARS right?"

And if she questioned it, explain that 2000 years ago, most people nursed their kids at least that long because they didn't have formula and pediasure to make sure they got all the nutrition they needed.

Seeing as how it was at a church and all. But I just like to see people's eyes bug out of their heads when I mention Jesus nursing. I don't think a lot of people realize that YES, Jesus was a baby once, and YES, he suckled from his mother's breast!


----------



## janerose

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shaunam*
Seeing as how it was at a church and all. But I just like to see people's eyes bug out of their heads when I mention Jesus nursing. I don't think a lot of people realize that YES, Jesus was a baby once, and YES, he suckled from his mother's breast!









I know, this totally cracks me up too. I bf dd while I was going up for communion last x-mas. You should have seen the looks my family gave me.







Honestly, nobody else even noticed. I wouldn't have done it if I wasn't discrete, KWIM? I had on a black sweater set with my black glamour mom bra on underneath.

Seriously though, how do people think Jesus was fed???

Holly


----------



## LianneM

Dang, it IS too bad I couldn't think of that right then! I just get all mad and annoyed and say something like, "Well I totally disagree with you."







Yeah, really strong, huh? I say that often, though, to this particular person. You should hear the CRAP that has come out of her mouth about pregnancy, birth (didn't you know that episiotomies are really important to help the doctor out? That is a good reason to get one you know!!!) circumcision (I feel sorry for the dad who goes to watch!) and on and on.









I'll remember it next time the subject comes up. When people see DS's teeth at our weekly group meeting, someone inevitably brings it up.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LianneM*
Then another girl (single, know-it-all type... and I do realize that some single or childless women DO know a LOT, as I was one and was always frustrated that no one took me seriously when I would say things b/c I hadn't BTDT yet... sorry, I digress)

That's one of the things I like about MDC.


----------



## LianneM

Me too, and you are one I was thinking of that I remembered wasn't a mama yet but knew a lot


----------



## Stone Fence

I had this problem too with DS. It was scarey to say the least. I was sure I needed to eliminate dairy from my diet.

I went to the Family doc (we don't have a ped) and she said that it was probably just some fissures and I shouldn't worry too much. Next trip we asked another doc. He had us do some hemocult collection and said, its probably fissures (eliminating dairy did not appear to help, blood was inconsistent). Babe was gaining and growing well. A protein intolerance would be a very rare occurance, he said. One collection was positive so we did another 2 weeks later. Soon after we no longer had blood appearing. Babe was less than 3 months old and pooping explosively every hour practically. No wonder.


----------



## kater07

A few days ago I was invited to get a makeover at a Mary Kay party. I can't go because DD doesn't like to be left home with Daddy yet (not for long anyway), not to mention that I am allergic to MK products as is my mom.

I told the consultant that I couldn't go for both reasons, and she said that I need to break DD of the habit of needing me NOW. She said that I should just leave her and go b/c it's not good for her to need her mommy that much. HUH?


----------



## pjlioness

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kater07*
...she said that I need to break DD of the habit of needing me NOW. She said that I should just leave her and go b/c it's not good for her to need her mommy that much. HUH?

Sure, that makes sense.














Such a bad habit, this needing mommy. I can think of MUCH worse habits that could come from mommy pushing a child away!


----------



## veganpapi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zakers_mama*
veganpapi--sounds like my best friend who tells me I better rethink not letting them induce my next one!

What is it with people and induction? We were out shopping 2 days past DW's due date - this lady sees her belly and asks all the usual questions - when are you due, where are you having the baby, girl or boy, and so forth - upon hearing that DW is past her due date, asks "Are you getting induced?"








After all, if the baby doesn't come out on *exactly* the right day, we have to force it out, right?


----------



## jrayn

Quote:


Originally Posted by *veganpapi*
What is it with people and induction? We were out shopping 2 days past DW's due date - this lady sees her belly and asks all the usual questions - when are you due, where are you having the baby, girl or boy, and so forth - upon hearing that DW is past her due date, asks "Are you getting induced?"








After all, if the baby doesn't come out on *exactly* the right day, we have to force it out, right?

That is correct b/c doctors are never wrong about the due date!!!


----------



## artgoddess

Yeah, after the due date they go to induction and call it an eviction date.


----------



## Shenjall

funny story about due dates...

We decided to switch to a midwife for our last baby. Our family was up in arms about our decision to homebirth but hey, its our baby, our choice. So one day, after one of our first visits, my mom asked, "so what does this _midwife_ have to say about your due date?" Sometime in the middle to the end of october mom. "What?! She doesnt know? I mean, how can you trust the health of your baby to someone who doesnt even know your due date?!"

I tried to explain that dates were estimates, even when we had dr's with the others. But no, her selective memory couldnt remember that.

It was fun driving people crazy when they would ask when we were due and we always gave them, "sometime in october. maybe november. only baby knows for sure". They would press and press for an actual date - and this was from strangers in the grocery store!


----------



## paquerette

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamabohl*
Oh i think EC is so cool and i wish I'd not been so lazy and gotten started on it when I wanted to....but this woman meant potty training, kwim? She obviously had no idea what EC was.

Hehe. Yeah, I understand. We're lazy about it here anyway so we have at best 50% sucess, but it is nice..

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamabohl*
The whole hanging upside down thing I never knew. Did you know it says NOT to do that in What to Expect the First Year? Stupid book....

Figures.
















Quote:


Originally Posted by *boingo82*
So I suppose you were supposed to use a dairy-based formula while you were pumping/dumping?

Well, maybe they would have suggested soy or hypo.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zakers_mama*
she insists her non induced birth was the worst and induction is SO MUCH BETTER because it's shorter

That's odd... anecdotally, it seems like induction are longer and more painful. Well, I guess they're overall shorter if you count being cut short for c-sects.


----------



## NYCVeg

Another gem. Dh was talking with a couple of his co-workers yesterday. Both of them are supporting families (and one has another babe on the way) and they are *seriously* strapped for cash. So the one whose expecting complains "Formula is just so expensive." Dh says: "Um, what about bfing?" Co-worker: "Oh, of course...dw bf the other kids for 3 months each."

And then what happened? Her boobs fell off? If formula is a serious financial burden to you (which it is) and dw can be with the children all day (she's a SAHM), why would you stop bfing?









Note: I know there can be other issues at work, and I'm not trying to minimize them for moms who really struggle. That didn't seem to be the case here. Dh said the tone of the response was, "Oh, we DID bf. But at some point, you've got to buy formula."


----------



## Shaunam

I was at my sister and BIL's house for my nephew's 5th b-day. After the party died down, I was sitting on the couch talking to my dad. He was laughing about how DS was learning to pinch and it really hurt! I told him, "That's nothing, imagine what it's like to get your boobs pinched. Now THAT hurts!" I am comfortable talking to my dad about this stuff because he is extremely pro-bf'ing and won't even JOKE about weaning a baby so young.

My BIL on the other hand...upon hearing about DS pinching my boobs...

BIL: Why do you put up with that? Just cut 'em off! (I actually thought he meant my boobs at first and then realized he meant my DS...from the breast







: )

Me: Well he has to EAT! (I wasn't going to act like formula or a bottle is even an option, cuz it isn't)

BIL: He can have formula ya know.

Me: But then my milk will dry up! (shocked that he would even suggest this







)

BIL: Well, can't you just pump?

Me: No. (firmly and sternly)

BIL: (hesitantly deciding if he even wants to venture further) Why not?

Me: It's a pain in the butt. It hurts, it's time-consuming, and I can barely even get an ounce each time I pump.

BIL: Well, I guess that wouldn't work then...

Me: He'll be past this pinching phase in like two days. Nursing my son is very important. I can stick it out for two days.

He stopped talking at that point. I didn't leave it alone right away though. He really ticked me off. I mean, where does he think he gets off telling me to wean my son, who was 8 MONTHS at the time?

I harped on him for awhile about how it's ridiculus for men to expect women to pump and how so many people use the availability of a pump to argue against NIP. I basically preached the evils of pumping. By the time I was done he realized he stepped on a land mine. He won't be doing that again. I hope he's smart enough to leave his wife (my sis) alone about bf'ing their son (due in april), because she plans to.

I don't really think pumps are evil, of course. They are a PITA for me, but I know they are awesome for a lot of people (especially babies that can't latch and otherwise wouldn't get BM).









Oh, BTW, I don't normally have to deal with people like this, so that's probably why I went a little overboard. I actually have an AWESOME family. My mom and dad are pro-bf'ing, pro-hb, pro-co-sleeping, ect. My mom nursed me for 2 1/2 years.


----------



## dysenchanted

My ds turned a year old on Monday. We are a happy breastfeeding pair!









We had a b-day get-together at my MIL's for DS on Sunday night. While we were there, my DH's Grandma asks me "Are you still nursing, honey?"

I replied, that yes, of course I was.

And she pats me on the knee and says in a condecending tone "I want you to stop nursing now, he can drink cow's milk."









WTF? I was livid. I just turned to her, and pat her on HER knee and smiled (through my teeth) as I said sweetly, "Well, _I_ want to win a million dollars in the lottery, but that's not going to happen, is it?"

I got up and walked off after that.

Later MIL confided that she did the same thing to her the whole time she nursed all three of her kids. Sigh. Some people are ignorant, and there's nothing we can do to change it.
Ugh. Does she really think that my boobs have an expiration date printed on them?

Christine

Nursing for 1 year and counting!!


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dysenchanted*

And she pats me on the knee and says in a condecending tone "I want you to stop nursing now, he can drink cow's milk."









WTF? I was livid. I just turned to her, and pat her on HER knee and smiled (through my teeth) as I said sweetly, "Well, _I_ want to win a million dollars in the lottery, but that's not going to happen, is it?"

First, congrats on nursing for a year!!!!

Second... Tell GIL "want in one hand and sh*t in the other, see which one fills up faster"







:


----------



## peaceful_mama

WIC sucks. I went in for the appointment, and DS is a year old so of course they want me to explore other options than Nutramigen. (do *not* comment on the evils of Nutramigen, go read the last page of the bf difficulties tribe post...my story is there. It's STILL a problem to me.)

So I agreed to try DS on goat's milk, since he's had some and seemed to be OK with it. First they tell me I do NOT need a dr's note, and I need to switch right after his b-day, then they tell me no we'll do it next month and you DO need a dr's note.
So I make the appointment and I leave and DS's well baby is the fri before the appt so I get the note. And I call Monday because I can't remember for the life of me if said appt. is 9 or 10 or what. Lady says I'm not in the computer for an appt but i can come in whenever. And I bring up the goat's milk and she goes 'oh I don't know if we even GIVE that.' (BS last month she told me they DO and it would be fine with the note. SAME WOMAN. Besides that I KNOW they do cause my friend gets it for her kids from them.)

So I go later that AM and they make me see the dietitian. The dietitian lectures me on the expense of goat's milk and says I really should try a lactose free cow's milk. (I KNOW this is stupid, babies can't be lactose-intolerant...BM has tons of lactose!!)
But....it gets better....Mr. Dietitian then says "The lactose free milk is basically a glorified COFFEE CREAMER. They enrich it with vitamins like the regular milk but it tastes really good...it's sweetened with something else."








So this person thinks I want GLORIFIED COFFEE CREAMER to be a major part of my child's diet??? How about I just pour some of my Vanilla Nut coffeemate in his bottle at night and give him a dropper of vitamin liquid with it? I'm sure THAT would taste good too!.....


----------



## Einhorn

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zakers_mama*







So this person thinks I want GLORIFIED COFFEE CREAMER to be a major part of my child's diet??? How about I just pour some of my Vanilla Nut coffeemate in his bottle at night and give him a dropper of vitamin liquid with it? I'm sure THAT would taste good too!.....

Actually it's not that bad tasting. We didn't have (or know about) goats milk as a possible option for cow's milk allergies when I was little(much less soy, rice, etc.), and after I finally got my mom to drink a glass of Isomil (which is designed for use in a bottle when you can't smell it) when I was 5 or 6, coffee creamer is what I used for a milk substitute until I was in college and found out about soy milk. Coffee Mate and Coffee Rich... Was it the best thing in the world, no, but it was the best thing my parents (and the allergiest) could suggest at the time/place, so I'm not that surprised that's basically what someone called the substitute they were suggesting. I think it was a commonly used replacement in the 70's/80's, at least for children, and probably sometimes for infants.

however, lactose free milk is not anywhere near as lacking in allergins as coffee creamers usually are, as I reacted to lactose free milk (at least I think that's what it was) and not coffee creamers as a young child.

good luck getting the option you think is best for your little one!


----------



## becoming

My dad is constantly giving me crap about co-sleeping, holding my baby all the time, etc. He says I'm "spoiling her," which is absolutely ridiculous, IMO. I tell him, "You know what? I did the same things with your grandson, who has turned out beautifully." Usually shuts him up.

I have gotten several, "Is she a good baby?" also. I just kind of stare at them blankly for a second and then say, "She hardly ever cries." Of course, I'm thinking in my head, "And that's because I'm SPOILING HER."

I think I need to start using the response about the men in her bed and the F-word. LMAO! That almost made me wet my pants!


----------



## Corvus

The "good baby" thing drives me nuts too. I went out to dinner with my friend, who has a 2yo. I have a 3yo and newborn. At dinner, it was just my friend, me, and my newborn. She was quiet most of the time, just cried when she was hungry (ya know, when she NEEDED something). My friend kept saying (with surprise in her voice), "Wow, she's been so good."

I just want to yell, "She's not capable of being good or bad! She's simply been happy all evening until she got hungry. I can't blame her for crying when she's hungry!"


----------



## RachelGS

Quote:

I KNOW this is stupid, babies can't be lactose-intolerant...BM has tons of lactose!!
My daughter was. We went through hell until we figured it out.


----------



## pjlioness

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zakers_mama*
(I KNOW this is stupid, babies can't be lactose-intolerant...BM has tons of lactose!!)

Actually, it is very very rare, but it does happen. The protein in milk is a MUCH more common allergen - it's in the top ten.

As for the rest of your recent experience with WIC, I am amazed at their level of incompetence. Not that I think it is unusual, but I do think it SHOULD be.






























to you mama for having to deal with all this.


----------



## peaceful_mama

OK, so 10-20 years ago, they didn't think of goat's milk as an option. But, they do need to keep current.
I love vanilla nut coffeemate, LOL. The point I was going for was I'm not real concerned about TASTE, I'm concerned about the nutritional value of the liquid....of course I don't want it to taste so bad he won't drink it, but he's drank NUTRAMIGEN for months, I'm pretty sure NOTHING tastes worse than that!

*return hugs* thanks







The other thing I want to say is, I think it's entirely possible (and probable) that the lactose in human milk is different from that of milk of other mammals, so with that theory, I would think it might be entirely possible for a baby to be lactose-intolerant to other species' milk. Unlikely, but possible, and more of a probablity to me than human milk intolerance.


----------



## paquerette

Quote:

I think it's entirely possible (and probable) that the lactose in human milk is different from that of milk of other mammals
I'm not a chemist or anything, but I don't think that it can be. I think lactose is a very specific type of sugar molecule, so there can't be different types... just like there can't be different types of water. H2O is H2O.


----------



## mamabohl

I was diagnosed lactose intolerant as a baby and was also alergic to soy (the only other formula option back then)...they put me on raw goat's milk.


----------



## vegaenglit

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corvus*
The "good baby" thing drives me nuts too....
I just want to yell, "She's not capable of being good or bad! She's simply been happy all evening until she got hungry. I can't blame her for crying when she's hungry!"

we got that a lot too when lucien was just born. we flew from DC to chicago and from DC to texas (connecting in detroit). it was during the holidays and you could tell people were "great, its a baby on this flight" sort of look. lucien never made a peep and people thought they were doing us a favour by saying "what a good baby."

i wanted to say "you are just thanking me for him not crying because you would have no oether reason to talk to me."


----------



## SparklyMoose

Thanksgiving at my folks' house. Gabriel's 8 months old now, and so he had various food items on his tray and was eating them (except for the gravy, which he'd instead used as a hair gel). He does eat jarred stuff, but mostly he eats what we have. Anyway. Oh, also, we're vegetarian (at least, the baby and I are). My mother says, "Oh, we have to get a picture of him with the turkey drumstick! He probably won't eat any, but we've got a picture of you with it at your first Thanksgiving, and your sister..."

I said no. She tried to insist. I told her, "No, he's a vegetarian as long as I have a say in it, and he's not playing with meat." She got MAD, but didn't say anything else and dropped the issue. (Which shocked the hell out of me, but that's a whole different diatribe.)

My mother-in-law went through a phase of about two weeks where she kept telling the baby that he looked like a Timothy, not a Gabriel, so that's what she was going to call him. She got over it, but sheesh.

The only other standouts from her are that she was VERY insistent, when he was small, about using the bouncy seat. We have one at home, and she has one at her house. However, most of the time, we'd prefer to hold him (until now, where he'd rather NOT be held and would rather just crawl around and get into stuff.







). This was a concept that she just wouldn't get. She keeps--jokingly, I think--offering the baby meat. But I'm worried to leave him with her now, because she's definitely a person who would say, "Oh, you can have just a little meat. Mommy will never know." And she insists on referring to me as Mommy, even though my expressed preference is Momma.

OH! There is the one other one. We refuse to let him CIO. This makes for some frustrating evenings sometimes, as he fights sleep like crazy. He's afraid that if he goes to sleep, he's going to MISS STUFF. Most of the time, the way to get him to sleep is by patting his back while he cries until he goes to sleep. We were at her house, and he started getting fussy because he was tired. She asks if we want her to take him upstairs and put him in the crib. Well, no, because he won't fall asleep, he'll just cry and be miserable. "But I'll give him a bottle while he's there!" Then she says, "Oh, wait, you're not supposed to give a baby a bottle in bed." YAY! "But I think that's only after they have teeth." NO! *duh* We try explaining that we don't give him a bottle in bed because he could choke (and because, while he usually doesn't like to be held while he's eating, we still want to foster closeness by being THERE with him). "Oh, but I'll just sit by and watch so that he doesn't." ARGH! YOU ARE NOT LEAVING OUR BABY IN A BED ALONE, WITH OR WITHOUT A BOTTLE. He'll go to sleep in the living room, and we'll move him. Or we won't and he'll nap there. Why so insistent that he be removed from his parents and left alone? (For the record, he does sleep in a crib. We stopped co-sleeping at about 4-5 months, because he was getting too big for us to comfortably share our double bed with him. But he generally goes to sleep in our bed or in his daddy's lap, and then we move him. And the bottles...*sigh* I'm not going to go into the long reasons why he's ff, but suffice to say that even though he has, by his own choice, been ff for 4 months now, it still makes me tear up to think about it, and seeing other moms bfing does too.)

I'm actually surprised I haven't heard more stupidity from her. She's someone who, if you think/do/say something different than how she thinks it should be done, it's weird and she'll just NEVER get over it. It took her over a year to even accept that I'm veg, and I still don't think she understands it.


----------



## Jenlaana

This was before my daughter was born, but it REALLY REALLY REALLY made me angry.

I don't get along with my FIL very well. He smokes a lot, doesn't take other people's feelings/routines/preferences into consideration for anything... anyways, I could go on about him for ever.









They came to visit from out of town, and they asked us what we were going to name the baby. We said "Brianna Elizabeth if its a girl, and Dorian Michael if its a boy". My FIL looks at me dead serious and says "oh boy, what a name, heh... you're going to call him Michael though right?"


----------



## henhao

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pjlioness*
As for the rest of your recent experience with WIC, I am amazed at their level of incompetence. Not that I think it is unusual, but I do think it SHOULD be.
















It doesn't surprise me. They probably want to frustrate women until women give up and go away. That's what welfare seems to do (in the U.S. anyway).


----------



## henhao

In a condescending tone, a woman told me I should give solids to my 3-month-old so I can sleep through the night. Um, she's a baby. She's not supposed to sleep 8 hours yet!

And this came from a woman who didn't breastfeed because the nurse who was showing her how in the hospital was rough on her. She said she regretted not bfing...

Anyway, I felt like saying that I'll listen to the AAP over you.


----------



## wendy1221

Quote:


Originally Posted by *paquerette*
I'm not a chemist or anything, but I don't think that it can be. I think lactose is a very specific type of sugar molecule, so there can't be different types... just like there can't be different types of water. H2O is H2O.


I am a chemist and you are absolutely right.

The casein and whey in human milk are completely different from the casein and whey in non-human milks, though. Proteins are huge molecules and their structures aren't as exact.


----------



## wendy1221

btw, non-dairy creamer is made w/ milk products, namely casein. I'm allergic to milk and I can't tolerate non-dairy creamer. You must have been/are allergic to the whey. I guess I'm probably allergic to the casein or maybe both.

And lactose free milk is NOTHING like glorified coffee creamer. My ds1 is lactose intolerant as is dh. Lactose free milk is just regular cow's milk with lactase added. Lactase is the enzyme that breaks down lactose. Most people make it in their intestinal linings, at least while they are infants. Those that don't are lactose intolerant. Lactose free milk tastes sweeter b/c the lactose is already broken down by the lactase before it goes into your mouth instead of after you drink it. It breaks down into glucose and galactose. Glucose is a much sweeter sugar than lactose, so even though there is half the amount of glucose in the milk than there is lactose in regular milk, it tastes sweeter.

I also can't tolerate goat's or sheep's milk. Most people w/ cow's milk allergies can't but some can. My dh was put on goat's milk when his mom stopped nursing him. So was my dad's cousin or something like that in the 50's. I'm confused why people say that wasn't an option in the past?







Maybe it's b/c we're from PA where goats and goats' milk have always been very common.

Of course, back on topic, my grandparents gave me a hard time about nursing ds1 past a year b/c "Isn't cow or goat milk better for him now that he's bigger?"


----------



## RiBe ccaLin

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lousli*
This time around, we told my parents and in-laws the name we chose, and they wouldn't stop telling us how much they disliked it.

Since my husband and I found out that we're PG, we've had this same issue. We decided even before we were married what we would name the first boy (Austin Center) and the first girl (Georgia Spring). Austin becuase that was the first place we went on a date (plus my DH's name is Dallas, so it goes with the theme...) and Center because my DH proposed on the corner of Center and Spring streets. Kinda weird, but it matches us.

Well, when we found out it was going to be a boy, we told both the IL and my parents what name we had picked. Both moms were like "Is the middle name negotiable?"







: This kind of frusterated me, so a day or so later I called them both up and said that there were only two choices for the middle name: Center or my mom's maiden name. Once my MIL heard my mom's maiden name both were all too happy to have Center instead....

My mom's maiden name is Powers.


----------



## mamabohl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RiBe ccaLin*
Since my husband and I found out that we're PG, we've had this same issue. We decided even before we were married what we would name the first boy (Austin Center) and the first girl (Georgia Spring). Austin becuase that was the first place we went on a date (plus my DH's name is Dallas, so it goes with the theme...) and Center because my DH proposed on the corner of Center and Spring streets. Kinda weird, but it matches us.

Well, when we found out it was going to be a boy, we told both the IL and my parents what name we had picked. Both moms were like "Is the middle name negotiable?"







: This kind of frusterated me, so a day or so later I called them both up and said that there were only two choices for the middle name: Center or my mom's maiden name. Once my MIL heard my mom's maiden name both were all too happy to have Center instead....

My mom's maiden name is Powers.


----------



## mamabohl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SparklyMoose*
Thanksgiving at my folks' house. Gabriel's 8 months old now, and so he had various food items on his tray and was eating them (except for the gravy, which he'd instead used as a hair gel). .

isn't gravy usually made from meat?


----------



## SparklyMoose

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamabohl*
isn't gravy usually made from meat?

Usually. My mom makes a vegetarian gravy specifically for me. Well, and now for Gabriel, too.


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SparklyMoose*
Usually. My mom makes a vegetarian gravy specifically for me. Well, and now for Gabriel, too.









Sounds yummy!


----------



## Ellp

I got one from my dad today...
He wanted to look at Dd's first tooth that was just starting to come in. (Its barely there, you can just see the top of it erupting out of the gum.) Its been like that for a week, and dad thought that that was enough time to give a tooth to show itself.

He said that the reason her tooth wasn't coming in fast enough was that Dd didn't get enough Calcium, and you need calcium from orange juice.

"Just give her some juice!"

I get the same exclamation when Dd gets a cold. Apparently its because she doesn't get enough Vit. C, and that a glass of juice (poured into a bottle of course, nevermind that Dd doesn't know how to drink from a bottle) would prevent colds.

Dd is 9 months old.

I've given up on replying, I just ignore him...


----------



## mandalamama

this is definitely in the "dumb" category, but i think it fits better in the "worst" thing anyone has ever said to me.

my husband and i are separated indefinitely. he's got some violence issues he needs to deal with or it'll be permanently. so, me and the babe were to be totally alone for Thanksgiving (i have no family). my sis-in-law asked her mom, on my babe's behalf, could we come up there for Thanksgiving so the babe could be with her family, especially to play with her cousins that are close in age? MIL's reply? "that woman is not welcome in my home." yeah, because i'm so horrible for calling the police after her son attacked me, yeah right. ok, so obviously blood is thicker than water, yada yada, no biggie.

but THEN she told my sis-in-law to tell me that: my babe was perfectly welcome up there for Thanksgiving, it's just that i was not welcome. i was to let my sis-in-law know what time she could pick the babe up to bring her up there. we are talking a 3-hour drive, an entire day and possibly overnight visit, and a 3-hour drive back ... so this woman expected me to leave my baby alone with relatives - who have never even babysat her before - for that long??????
















i'm still in shock, frankly. this is the same woman who also refused to offer any help, even a box of dipes, even though she knows her son is unemployed and not providing support. BUT, she also said "if they get back together in time for Christmas, all will be forgiven and we can all have a nice time as a family." even if we did get back together, i have three words for my MIL: LIKE BLOODY HELL.


----------



## joy11

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mandalamama*
but THEN she told my sis-in-law to tell me that: my babe was perfectly welcome up there for Thanksgiving, it's just that i was not welcome. i was to let my sis-in-law know what time she could pick the babe up to bring her up there. we are talking a 3-hour drive, an entire day and possibly overnight visit, and a 3-hour drive back ... so this woman expected me to leave my baby alone with relatives - who have never even babysat her before - for that long??????


















MIL sounds like she doesn't know how to react to this situation in an appropriate way to all parties. Families are so wierd! And, I would have been like "are you for real??" Like you would have your child go somewhere where they won't let you come. People are so funny. ha ha, right?







: you know what they say about mama's and their boys...no woman is ever good enough, no matter what issues their son may have, he is always perfect to his mama. I'm starting to understand this from a mama view now.


----------



## mamabohl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SparklyMoose*
Usually. My mom makes a vegetarian gravy specifically for me. Well, and now for Gabriel, too.










that's nice!


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mandalamama*
BUT, she also said "if they get back together in time for Christmas, all will be forgiven and we can all have a nice time as a family." even if we did get back together, i have three words for my MIL: LIKE BLOODY HELL.

Eeep! No offense to you, but it seems you're better off without the lot of them. And after the comments your Monster in Law has made I'd tell her to







off even if you do work things out with your husband... but that's just me.


----------



## BookGoddess

The worst parenting advice I got was from a friend who is an acupunturist and die-hard vegan. I didn't expect she of all people would tell me to use the CIO method on my 1 month old!! Needless to say we didn't. I feel sorry for her 4 children though (all are nearly grown up) because she apparently used that method on them.


----------



## winonamom2be

I am almost eight months pregnant with my first child and pretty much anyone who meets me and finds this out says:

"You don't look pregnant AT ALL!"

I find this very upsetting, because I have gained about 50 pounds in the past eight months (eating healthy foods but am SOOOOO hungry that I am eating a LOT of healthy foods), and frankly, I look like I swallowed a basketball!

How anyone, nevermind nearly EVERYONE, I meet can say this to me, I just cannot comprehend. It's like, Well how freakin' FAT do you think I am just naturally? Do you think this ENORMOUS belly is just a BEER GUT?! Even my husband is baffled at how people can think I "don't look pregnant at all".

Maybe it is because I am not in skin tight Britney Spears "maternity" clothes that show off every stretch mark through the painted on fabric? Maybe these people think it is a compliment to tell someone who is eight months pregnant and fifty pounds heavier that she doesn't look pregnant? I just don't get it. My measurements have been dead-on matching centimeters to weeks, and my midwife says to just ignore the commentators who feel like they need to tell me how pregnant I do or don't look, but really, I really do find it so annoying.








:


----------



## jayayenay

Quote:


Originally Posted by *winonamom2be*
Maybe these people think it is a compliment to tell someone who is eight months pregnant and fifty pounds heavier that she doesn't look pregnant?

That'd be my guess. I get a lot of "you're so TINY!!" which I guess is a little better than "you're so HUGE!!" (because I think they're trying to give me a compliment)....but why do people need to comment at all? If they really want to, why not just say, "You look great!" and leave it at that?

I _am_ huge. I'm pregnant. I'm growing a new person.

(Welcome to MDC, btw...you should join us over at the January Due Date Club!)


----------



## boingo82

Quote:


Originally Posted by *winonamom2be*
...Maybe these people think it is a compliment to tell someone who is eight months pregnant and fifty pounds heavier that she doesn't look pregnant? ..







:

You either get that, or you get a fellow customer in Albertsons insisting that you must be DUE RIGHT NOW because you ARE SO HUGE!!! (I was 6 months, thank you very much. And though I had gained a good 40 lbs at that point I still did not need to hear it.)


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *winonamom2be*
I am almost eight months pregnant with my first child and pretty much anyone who meets me and finds this out says:

"You don't look pregnant AT ALL!"

I find this very upsetting, because I have gained about 50 pounds in the past eight months (eating healthy foods but am SOOOOO hungry that I am eating a LOT of healthy foods), and frankly, I look like I swallowed a basketball!








:

I can understand being upset. I was (IMO) huge when I was pregnant and I loved every bit of it (the being huge part), I took pride in my big ole pregnant belly . Heck my favorite outfit was a pair of black pants and one of DH's dress overshirts or a button up tunic I have with only the top three buttons buttoned so my belly was out there for the world to see. One lady (complete stranger) did make a really snotty comment to a store manager (who is a friend of Dh's), saying the way I was dressed was "indecent" which made me laugh my butt off









I would never say "you look tiny/huge/not pregnant" I would say somethign like "you look absolutely beautiful pregnant" or "being pregnant makes you look so pretty" something like that... Of course my husband would only say














since he thinks pregnant women are the most beautiful/biggest turn-on


----------



## janerose

Quote:


Originally Posted by *winonamom2be*
I am almost eight months pregnant with my first child and pretty much anyone who meets me and finds this out says:

"You don't look pregnant AT ALL!"

I find this very upsetting, because I have gained about 50 pounds in the past eight months (eating healthy foods but am SOOOOO hungry that I am eating a LOT of healthy foods), and frankly, I look like I swallowed a basketball!

How anyone, nevermind nearly EVERYONE, I meet can say this to me, I just cannot comprehend. It's like, Well how freakin' FAT do you think I am just naturally? Do you think this ENORMOUS belly is just a BEER GUT?! Even my husband is baffled at how people can think I "don't look pregnant at all".

Maybe it is because I am not in skin tight Britney Spears "maternity" clothes that show off every stretch mark through the painted on fabric? Maybe these people think it is a compliment to tell someone who is eight months pregnant and fifty pounds heavier that she doesn't look pregnant? I just don't get it. My measurements have been dead-on matching centimeters to weeks, and my midwife says to just ignore the commentators who feel like they need to tell me how pregnant I do or don't look, but really, I really do find it so annoying.








:

Yah know I got this too! It got so bad that I sort of just assumed I really *didn't* look pg, blamed it on the fact that I'm normally not a petite woman, blah, blah, blah. Everyone close to me commented on how beautiful I looked of course, but after dozens of comments from strangers you kinda have to wonder you know?

Well, the final straw was when I went to get my hair cut at 38 weeks. I mentioned that I'd better get my hair done while I still had the time since I was due in 2 weeks. She of course was like "You're pregnant. No way!" Maybe she was just trying to be polite, but she was a good actress then cause I could see her face in the mirror & she genuinely looked suprised.

That evening DH borrowed a digital camera & took some pics of me (I hadn't seen myself in a photo or anything at that point -- just the mirror). Well, I was freaking HUGE! In a healthy way of course, but still... Later I got my baby shower pics from my mom, which were taken when I was 6 months & I look pretty pg in those too.









I finally just decided that the stupid comments were a combo of people trying to be polite & people just generally being unobservant/dumb.

Best of luck for the end of your pg, btw! Sending lots of ++++ thoughts for a happy & healthy labor.

Holly


----------



## boingo82

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CryPixie83*
...... Of course my husband would only say














since he thinks pregnant women are the most beautiful/biggest turn-on









LOL i hear you. I normally have not much butt, but it's a bit rounder when pg and DH can't keep his hands off.


----------



## Birth Junky

Argh . . . those "you don't even look pregnant!" comments get to me, too.

I was really, really sick during my first trimester--constant, all-day nausea from 6 weeks until 21 weeks. I lost a bit of weight . . . but mostly, I just have strong core muscles (doing massage all day with do that to you!). I didn't show, didn't show, didn't show . . . people were asking me if I was SURE I was pregnant. (Okay, how stupid is that? If I'm not pregnant, then I should probably call my doctor about the four months of puking!)

FINALLY, this week, the day before I hit 24 weeks, my belly popped. Overnight, just as my MW told me it probably would. I just woke up looking like I had swallowed a basketball. I was SO proud of my new belly, had DH take a picture and emailed it to friends who live out of town or who I wouldn't get a chance to see for awhile . . . and I got comments like "are you sticking your belly out on purpose in that picture? You look HUGE!"








: Some people are never happy--you are either too small or too big. (*shrug*)

P.S. Had to laugh about the butt comments . . . when I was about 3 months pregnant we had a BBQ at our house to celebrate our wedding anniversary, and I overheard a couple of my friends talking about me. When I asked what was up they said "we were just talking about your boobs . . . and your butt!" They were actually quite complimentary, but it was a surprise to me that my butt had changed due to pregnancy; I have a bit off a "wall-a**" normally, and apparently it fleshed out quite a bit in the first few months!


----------



## RiBe ccaLin

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Birth Junky*
FINALLY, this week, the day before I hit 24 weeks, my belly popped. Overnight, just as my MW told me it probably would. I just woke up looking like I had swallowed a basketball. I was SO proud of my new belly, had DH take a picture and emailed it to friends who live out of town or who I wouldn't get a chance to see for awhile . . . and I got comments like "are you sticking your belly out on purpose in that picture? You look HUGE!"








: Some people are never happy--you are either too small or too big. (*shrug*)

I haven't been able to fit into my regular clothes since I was about 2 mo pg, but a couple days before my birthday (I'm now a quarter of a century old!!) my belly just popped! My husband kept looking at me and saying "That wasn't there a couple days ago!!".









As a suprise for my birthday, he brought both his mom and mine up to celebrate with me and my MIL (who I love!!) kept saying "Are you sure you're not having twins!??!!" "You must be having twins if you're that big and only 15 or 16 weeks pregnant!!"









I got that a LOT from a bunch of people, the "you sure are big for only being ___ weeks along. Are you _sure_ you're not having twins??"







(Of course because of all this, when I finally had my US, I kept asking "Are you sure there's only one in there?







: )

I guess I am rather big, but by my birthday I still weighed less than when I found out I was pregnant and even now, about 24 weeks along, I'm only up about 8 lbs. I don't know where it's coming from, but it's all going to the belly!! I don't mind since it just makes me look that much cuter in all my maternity clothes!!


----------



## minkajane

Why do people keep telling me that they (or their partner) couldn't breastfeed because the baby was allergic to breastmilk?







Um, no, the baby was allergic to something in your diet.

My brother and SIL are STILL bugging me to let DS spent the night/weekend with them. He's only 11 months old and will be nursing for quite some time, thank you. I got some grief yesterday about how long I'm planning on nursing. "Don't most people stop at 8-9 months?" "That's weird..." "I knew this guy that was breastfed till he was 2 and he was such a mama's boy." You know, all the same old stuff we all hear about nursing toddlers and preschoolers.


----------



## Annie

Quote:

Why do people keep telling me that they (or their partner) couldn't breastfeed because the baby was allergic to breastmilk? Um, no, the baby was allergic to something in your diet.
I heard this too from someone and when I gave the same response the guy was like "Well my wife' s a nurse so she knows all about breastfeeding and knows that our kids are allergic to the milk itself and couldnt nurse them" I think I said something like 'well aparently some nurses dont know jack about it' or somethingto that effect


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Annie*
I heard this too from someone and when I gave the same response the guy was like "Well my wife' s a nurse so she knows all about breastfeeding and knows that our kids are allergic to the milk itself and couldnt nurse them" I think I said something like 'well aparently some nurses dont know jack about it' or somethingto that effect

Yea, because we all know how educated nurses are on breastfeeding


----------



## mom2jasper

minkajane said:


> Why do people keep telling me that they (or their partner) couldn't breastfeed because the baby was allergic to breastmilk?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Um, no, the baby was allergic to something in your diet. QUOTE]
> 
> I'm not so surprised to hear this--In our society today, the majority of people are just uneducated about the intricacies of breastfeeding and tend to give up at the slightest problem. I try to educate those who say things like this, some people aren't trying to make excuses, they honestly don't know any better.
> 
> I do think its inexcusable for nurses and health care professionals to say stuff like this! My friend stopped breastfeeding because her doctor told her her baby was allergeric to her milk--and then never attempted to bf her other two.


----------



## dnr3301

Quote:


Originally Posted by *janerose*
Yah know I got this too! It got so bad that I sort of just assumed I really *didn't* look pg, blamed it on the fact that I'm normally not a petite woman, blah, blah, blah. Everyone close to me commented on how beautiful I looked of course, but after dozens of comments from strangers you kinda have to wonder you know?

Well, the final straw was when I went to get my hair cut at 38 weeks. I mentioned that I'd better get my hair done while I still had the time since I was due in 2 weeks. She of course was like "You're pregnant. No way!" Maybe she was just trying to be polite, but she was a good actress then cause I could see her face in the mirror & she genuinely looked suprised.

That evening DH borrowed a digital camera & took some pics of me (I hadn't seen myself in a photo or anything at that point -- just the mirror). Well, I was freaking HUGE! In a healthy way of course, but still... Later I got my baby shower pics from my mom, which were taken when I was 6 months & I look pretty pg in those too.









I finally just decided that the stupid comments were a combo of people trying to be polite & people just generally being unobservant/dumb.

Best of luck for the end of your pg, btw! Sending lots of ++++ thoughts for a happy & healthy labor.

Holly

When I was pregnant with my first, I was working in a school in a classroom with high level learning disabled kids. I was the teacher's assistant, although it had a different title and more responsibility than a normal TA. I regularly spent the afternoon with the kids in a regular-ed science class. I was due Feb 28 (she was born March 3). At the Staff holiday party, the lead teacher and a few others and I were kinda laughing, noticing that the kids hadn't noticed I was pregnant yet. I hadn't told them yet, because I would literally talk about nothing else until I had the baby if I did. The science teacher walked over and asked what we were laughing about and someone told him, and he looked at me with the biggest look of surprise on his face and yelled "You're pregnant?!" We kinda had to stop thinking it was so cute that the kids hadn't noticed... I told the kids I was pregnant after winter break, so I only had to deal with the incessent questioning for about a a month and a half. (It was kinda cute though, telling those kids that we didn't need to buy bottles because I would be breastfeeding and not all babies are born in the hospital.)


----------



## Jenlaana

Stupidest thing so far.... "you should give that baby hot wings to taste"... at 2 months old.


----------



## heathenmom

DH, DD & I relocated for a better job (and to be closer to my family) and have been living with my sister since September. Well, she & dh had a HUGE blowout yesterday while I was at work. Apparently this is what she thinks of our parenting:

* Cosleeping is stupid. DD cries all the time because of separation anxiety caused by the fact that she sleeps with us. [She informed me months ago that HER kids never spent one night in bed with her ... as soon as they came home from the hospital they went straight into the crib.] _First of all, dd does NOT cry all the time. She's one of the happiest babies I've ever seen. She does have some separation anxiety, which is perfectly normal for kids her age. Second, I cannot for the LIFE of me understand why where our baby sleeps is ANYBODY ELSES' BUSINESS!_

* DD has diarreah all the time because we feed her junk food. [This from the woman who's been trying to feed my daughter vienna sausages since before she was a year old.] _DD gets diar. when she's teething and when she has cow's milk. Yes, she occasionally eats french fries, but for the most part she eats the same healthy, nourishing food that I make for myself & dh._

There's more, but I've gotta run right now.







:


----------



## Wugmama

My grandmother told me, "If you just let her cry, she will learn that you're not coming". I explained to her that I would never want my baby to learn her mother wasn't coming to her when she needed me. The great thing was I think my grandma actually got it!

~Tracy


----------



## janerose

We lived with my Mom & step-dad over the summer for very similar reasons. So sorry she's making it more difficult by sticking her nose where it doesn't belong.

Holly

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heathenmom*
DH, DD & I relocated for a better job (and to be closer to my family) and have been living with my sister since September. Well, she & dh had a HUGE blowout yesterday while I was at work. Apparently this is what she thinks of our parenting:

* Cosleeping is stupid. DD cries all the time because of separation anxiety caused by the fact that she sleeps with us. [She informed me months ago that HER kids never spent one night in bed with her ... as soon as they came home from the hospital they went straight into the crib.] _First of all, dd does NOT cry all the time. She's one of the happiest babies I've ever seen. She does have some separation anxiety, which is perfectly normal for kids her age. Second, I cannot for the LIFE of me understand why where our baby sleeps is ANYBODY ELSES' BUSINESS!_

* DD has diarreah all the time because we feed her junk food. [This from the woman who's been trying to feed my daughter vienna sausages since before she was a year old.] _DD gets diar. when she's teething and when she has cow's milk. Yes, she occasionally eats french fries, but for the most part she eats the same healthy, nourishing food that I make for myself & dh._

There's more, but I've gotta run right now.







:


----------



## Velvet005

I was talking to MIL on the phone and she asked what I was doing. I told her I was nursing ds because he wanted a nap (he was obviously tired). I told her he had not had a nap all day (it was about 4:30 in the pm during this conversation) and she said "that is just ridiculous he hasn't had a nap all day. You need to put him in his crib and let him cry. He needs to learn how to soothe himself"







: I said "Oh no, I can't let him CIO it is against my biological make-up. Women have signals that go off in their brains when babies cry because they are supposed to respond to them not ignore them. Ignoring them is bad for the baby and desensitizes the mother to the baby's needs" She has never said another word









ETA: DS sleeps with us but he naps in his crib.... sometimes.


----------



## EnviroBecca

About "not looking pregnant"...I am a Brownie leader, and I told my co-leader about my pregnancy very early because I was afraid I'd throw up during our camping trip (I didn't, possibly because she told me Fig Newtons were magic and I brought a secret stash and ate them at frequent intervals!) but never announced it to the whole troop at once. Most of the girls found out when they heard their moms talking pregnancy w/me, or they noticed when we started meeting the next fall and I was showing. Well, late in the fall when I was about 35 weeks along, we were having a chocolatey snack...
ME: I think my baby must like chocolate. I used to think chocolate was just pretty good, but now it tastes really wonderful to me!
GIRL: What baby?!
ME: I'm going to have a baby! (pointing at tummy) Didn't you know?!
GIRL: No. I thought you were too young to have a baby!







I was 31, so I took that as a compliment! When EnviroBaby attended his first meeting out of the womb and the girls were admiring him, that girl said, "Remember how I was the first one to know you were pregnant?"







The others looked surprised, but we humored her!


----------



## guestmama9911

This whole thread, that I have been reading for more than a week, reminds me of why I love Mothering - one of the last places a new mother can go for some common sense and sanity!!!


----------



## peaceful_mama

I got lots of 'you don't LOOK pregnant!' too...but at the same time, it got me out of some work that summer!! (LOL, j/k but seriously even when I INSISTED my doctor said it was OK, they wouldn't let me do anything. I was 8 months at least before my doc said maybe I should limit my lifting to 30 lbs or less.)

The one I found the funniest and will remember forever is this coworker of mine who, one day in September (DS was born 10/8/04) said 'You are too HAPPY to be pregnant! Don't you have ANY complaints?' So I looked down at my feet and said "My ankles are swollen. There. That's my only complaint.







" (OK so I looked in the general direction where i COULD see my feet before I had that 9 months preggo belly...)









Serioulsy though, why does everyone think pregnancy is something to complain about? I have decided with my next one, I'm going to a midwife, not my OBGYN. They are in the same office. If I get any questions as to why, I'm going to say "Because I'm not SICK, I'm PREGNANT. If I need a doctor, you'll be the first to know."







(Part of the reason why I've chosen that midwife is that she is in the same office as my OB just in case. And I do mean that, if I had anything concerning in my pregnancy, she's the doctor I'd want. The other, much more important part, is when I asked everybody I met who's ever gone to a midwife here in town, the same two names kept coming up--the two midwives in my OB's office!)


----------



## boingo82

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zakers_mama*
.
Serioulsy though, why does everyone think pregnancy is something to complain about? .

Some people really do have difficult pregnancies. From morning sickness to bedrest to toxemia to edema to pubis symphysis dysfunction (the ligaments that are supposed to hold your pelvis together, don't, which I have).

I am glad you don't, though.


----------



## mollyeilis

"Serioulsy though, why does everyone think pregnancy is something to complain about?"

Probably because they met me while I was pregnant.









I never had anything WRONG with me, but I was utterly miserable. I'm known for swelling, so of course I was a balloon (it's nothing worrisome with me, it's just me, but it's rotten). I had hideous heartburn. I got asthma and had bad reactions to my inhaler medicine. My back hurt. I couldn't move. My pubic bones hurt like a horse kicked me there. My nose swelled up and I looked UGLY. My hair was greasy. I got back acne. I had a heinous taste in my mouth the whole time. I got morning sickness later on, which at one point resulted in throwing up fish and chips, pretty much whole (MISERY).

And on and on and on. The only bright spots were when baby started moving, and even that was iffy, b/c sometimes he hurt me when he kicked. Adn he drove me insane by tickling my cervix.

People insisted on getting together with me, so my misery was out in public.

I remember my mom and stepmom, both of whom had October or September babies in CA, complaining of the heat and how hard it is to be big and pg during the summer. So next time I might as well go for a summer baby, just to max out the misery LOL.

I'm hoping future pregnancies aren' taht miserable, though. And if they are I'm staying inside with breaks to workout!


----------



## boingo82

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mollyeilis*
..
I never had anything WRONG with me, but I was utterly miserable. I'm known for swelling, so of course I was a balloon (it's nothing worrisome with me, it's just me, but it's rotten). I had hideous heartburn. I got asthma and had bad reactions to my inhaler medicine. My back hurt. I couldn't move. My pubic bones hurt like a horse kicked me there. My nose swelled up and I looked UGLY. My hair was greasy. I got back acne. I had a heinous taste in my mouth the whole time. I got morning sickness later on, which at one point resulted in throwing up fish and chips, pretty much whole (MISERY)...

You just listed a whole bunch of things I hadn't even thought of, but I have. Well..I have every one you mentioned, except the MS and the asthma. I made up for it with edema so bad that my ankles lapped over my shoes from 7 months on. My lower legs would hold dents. And then every night I would wake up 7 times to pee out all that fluid, only to accumulate it again the next day.
And the pubic bone...I am only 17 weeks along this time and it's stiff and sore and I feel 85 years old.


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zakers_mama*

Serioulsy though, why does everyone think pregnancy is something to complain about?

Because society as a whole treats pregnancy as if it were a sickness or a disease. Yes, many women have problems (from minor to major) but honestly I think the mindset has a lot to do with how we feel during pregnancy. Someone who views pregnancy like a typical mainstream American (you know, the people who think doctors are gods) will generally have more complaints than someone who feels pregnancy is normal, natural and healthy.

Note: that's a very general idea... I know there are lots of women here who know pregnancy is normal, natural, etc and still have rough pregnancies.

I loved being pregnant, honestly (though sometimes I hesitate to say it because I know so many here have rough pregnancies). I had nausea, but it wasn't unbearable, just enough to reassure me that things were normal. I had rib pain...yea that I could have lived without







: Heartburn...gave me an excuse to eat yummy papaya tablets all day







and an intense craving for ice.... that was weird lol


----------



## mollyeilis

Quote:

I know there are lots of women here who know pregnancy is normal, natural, etc and still have rough pregnancies.
That would be me. Sigh. I truly truly thought I'd have nothing but bliss. OK maybe some 'roids but that wouldn't have been anything new...oh well. Maybe next time!









Even the papaya tablets gave me heartburn!

Oh, and the ice thing can be a sign of a need for iron, isn't that odd?


----------



## jrayn

oh I really miss being pregnant and as time goes on I seem to forget the few small issues I had (heartburn with upchucking, painful heels which continues post-pregnancy, few other pains that lasted a couple days during pregnancy) but as time goes on, they seem like they weren't so bad!
My aunt was miserable though she was very irritable and barely spoke to her mom who lives a mile away from her for the entire pregnancy b/c of her horrible attitude she ended up having enclampsia but she still got to have her baby at home so I am proud of her!


----------



## jayayenay

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Velvet005*
I said "Oh no, I can't let him CIO it is against my biological make-up. Women have signals that go off in their brains when babies cry because they are supposed to respond to them not ignore them. Ignoring them is bad for the baby and desensitizes the mother to the baby's needs"

I love that...I'll have to memorize it & use it myself!


----------



## Charles Baudelaire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mollyeilis*
"Serioulsy though, why does everyone think pregnancy is something to complain about?"

Probably because they met me while I was pregnant.









I never had anything WRONG with me, but I was utterly miserable. I'm known for swelling, so of course I was a balloon (it's nothing worrisome with me, it's just me, but it's rotten). I had hideous heartburn. I got asthma and had bad reactions to my inhaler medicine. My back hurt. I couldn't move. My pubic bones hurt like a horse kicked me there. My nose swelled up and I looked UGLY. My hair was greasy. I got back acne. I had a heinous taste in my mouth the whole time. I got morning sickness later on, which at one point resulted in throwing up fish and chips, pretty much whole (MISERY).

And on and on and on. The only bright spots were when baby started moving, and even that was iffy, b/c sometimes he hurt me when he kicked. Adn he drove me insane by tickling my cervix.

People insisted on getting together with me, so my misery was out in public.

I remember my mom and stepmom, both of whom had October or September babies in CA, complaining of the heat and how hard it is to be big and pg during the summer. So next time I might as well go for a summer baby, just to max out the misery LOL.

I'm hoping future pregnancies aren' taht miserable, though. And if they are I'm staying inside with breaks to workout!










Wow! The nose thing! My god, I looked like I had a mushroom on my face and my ankles looked like Hillary Clinton's. Actually, they looked like Hillary Clinton. Really. As in the whole woman. Woman-sized legs dangling from my knees.

And the cervix thing! I'm amazed; I thought I was the only one that ever happened to! It was like walking down the street and getting a Pap smear at the same time, but without the lousy waiting-room copies of _Parents Magazine_!


----------



## heathenmom

Okay .... I posted earlier about the comments my sister had RE cosleeping and what we feed dd. Well, we had a "family meeting" this morning and it has come out that my mom and sister think the following:

* I get all of my parenting ideas (RE cosleeping, etc.) from the internet.
* I am completely disregarding all of their experience & wisdom as mothers.
* I am stunting dd's development by continuing to cosleep with her (she's all of 15 months old














.
* Cosleeping is causing dd to be FAR to attached to me. They've come to this conclusion because dd is going through an extended stage of separation anxiety: she's fine when I go to work or otherwise *leave*, but has a meltdown if I take a few steps away from her. I don't have a problem with it ... I mean, it's not the happiest of situations, but I cuddle her and reassure her that I will always come back, and I usually end up taking her with me.

The cosleeping is REALLY becoming an issue. I have made it abundantly clear that where our daughter sleeps is strictly between me & dh, but still they continue to harp on it. They even went so far today as to discuss where we could put a crib in our room (we're currently living with my sister ... dh, dd & I share a room that is CRAMMED with all of our stuff). My instinctive reaction is to tell them to







off, but dh has asked me to find some medical justification to show them that we're making an informed decision. I DON'T WANT TO! I don't want to fall into the trap of having to justify our parenting decisions. It just makes me feel like they will never really respect me as a mother. It's just so hurtful ... I would NEVER treat them this way.


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heathenmom*
Okay .... I posted earlier about the comments my sister had RE cosleeping and what we feed dd. Well, we had a "family meeting" this morning and it has come out that my mom and sister think the following:

* I get all of my parenting ideas (RE cosleeping, etc.) from the internet.
* I am completely disregarding all of their experience & wisdom as mothers.
It's just so hurtful ... I would NEVER treat them this way.

Do we have the same mother? My mother said the same thing (behind my back, of course). Apparently I blindly follow anything anyone on MDC says and am endangering my dd by not vaxing her, making me an unfit mother. Which is really hilarious, because she's always commented on how I don't "follow the crowd" but apparently motherhood has turned me into a sheep







Here's the kicker: my mother lost custody of her three kids, has been on drugs since gods-know-when, can't/won't hold a job, gets drunk and calls my house threatening to take my dd away, I could go on and on







:

My one main goal in motherhood is to not become my mother.Ever.


----------



## MommyofPunkiePie

Elizabeth,
Here is some very good info in case you want to prove your point

http://www.attachmentparenting.org/A...05%20FINAL.pdf

and this one

http://www.sidscenter.org/Downloads/B165.htm


----------



## cheeseRjedi

_she told me "Doctors aren't trying to make you birth on their time, it's not like they have a golf game scheuduled and they are trying to get your kid out before tee off. They don't interfere unless it's nessacary"_

Funny, the reason Cathy was born on August 30th is because her mom's doc had a tee time on Sept. 1st...her mom's 4th c-section because she was told her hips were too small to give birth (???) This was 20+ years ago in D.C., which still has the highest rate of c-sections in the country.

Chad, Cathy's dh


----------



## jenP

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cheeseRjedi*
_she told me "Doctors aren't trying to make you birth on their time, it's not like they have a golf game scheuduled and they are trying to get your kid out before tee off. They don't interfere unless it's nessacary"_

Funny, the reason Cathy was born on August 30th is because her mom's doc had a tee time on Sept. 1st...her mom's 4th c-section because she was told her hips were too small to give birth (???) This was 20+ years ago in D.C., which still has the highest rate of c-sections in the country.

Chad, Cathy's dh

Yep, my mom was induced with me two weeks before my due date... he told her "that baby is ready, if you aren't in labor by saturday come in to be induced."
as she was leaving the hospital without me (OF COURSE I was very small and had to spend a few days in a warming bed) she ran into an acquaitance, a woman due at the same time, also leaving w/o her baby. They later compared notes and found out the doc was on vacation the next two weeks!! He induced his patients WEEKS before their due date so no one else would get the money for the deliveries while he was away!! I would sue the bastard, but he is dead now.
So, yes, doctors will certainly do inductions or surgeries to suit their convenience rather than what is best for the patients.

Jen


----------



## mollyeilis

Even today a friend of mine would deny this, but I was present for her daughter's arrival, and her OB was actually *talking* about her plans for later on that day, while in the room with the laboring woman and a bunch of well-rested friends and family. Which is why she insisted on pitocin by 11am after PROM at 5am, and hurried things along at every single stage. My friend escaped absolutely unnecessary surgery by the skin of her nose, but refuses to admit it.

That friend continues to be harsh about my incredibly unneeded c/s, because, you know, all that matters is a healthy baby. Her friend was OK with her c/s (caused by the same "homebirth midwives" I had), so I should be too, according to her.







:


----------



## hellyaellen

Our best friends are two younger guys (23ish?- dh is 25, i'm 30 and these guys are mostly his friends but since I see them at least 3 times a week they may as be claimed by me too)









neither of these guys have kids. one says he never wants kids.

I think they bitched the whole pregnancy about how awful kids are, how stupid we were for bringing a kid into the world today,









that's stupid number one

number two?

one guy always refers to ds as "it"; is "it " hungry? He has a name!!!







:

and they always make belittling comments about dh not working outside the home for money. we've tried to explain that this is a concious choice, we want him to have a parent at home with him, its not even permanant. one of them works at home depot and he acts like parenthood is a breeze compared to that. wtf?

okay gonna read more now


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hellyaellen*
Our best friends ...

And that's still true after they acted that way? They must have a *lot* going for them in other areas. Good luck training them to behave properly.


----------



## peaceful_mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jenP*
Yep, my mom was induced with me two weeks before my due date... he told her "that baby is ready, if you aren't in labor by saturday come in to be induced."
as she was leaving the hospital without me (OF COURSE I was very small and had to spend a few days in a warming bed) she ran into an acquaitance, a woman due at the same time, also leaving w/o her baby. They later compared notes and found out the doc was on vacation the next two weeks!! He induced his patients WEEKS before their due date so no one else would get the money for the deliveries while he was away!! I would sue the bastard, but he is dead now.
So, yes, doctors will certainly do inductions or surgeries to suit their convenience rather than what is best for the patients.

Jen

*I* was induced--(pause to thank MDC for all I've learned since MAY...)--because I asked my OB who was going to deliver me while I was on vacation. She then said 'oh you measure a little big, why don't we induce?' I was so far mainstream at that point I went for it like an idiot. DS was born fine by their standards...but he was 6 lbs 6.5 oz, which is tiny. And couldn't learn to bf. Hmmmmmm ya think the possibility he was as much as 3 weeks preemie had anything to do with that??  I AM GOING TO A MIDWIFE NEXT TIME. THEN to make things even better  a couple weeks ago, my friend who's a nurse tells me 'yeah your doc probably already got paid for your delivery and didn't want to have to pay another doc to actually do it...' THEY DO THIS?!?!?!?!?!


----------



## guestmama9911

The worst thing I heard was when the night doctor told me I could either have an internal monitor or a c-section. I ended up at the hospital because my birth canal is aimed toward my back and DS's head was pressing on the side of my vagina instead of the cervix, so after 20 hours of excruciating labor and no progress, I asked my mid-wife to take me to the hospital for some pain medication. The nurse said the doctor wanted an internal monitor, which means the break the waters and screw a tube into the baby's scalp. I asked why that was necessary and the nurse told the doctor my question and then he made this illogical threat.

I asked him to explain how one would lead to the other and he said "because I won't be able to tell how your baby is doing." So...you're admitting that this external monitor strapped to my body is useless?? Why is it so hard to put a hand on my shoulder and say "Look, I know this monitor seems kind of scary, but I think it is important because......." I'm not irrational for asking questions, and if it is really useful, of course I will agree to it. It is not necessary to patronize me.

Once the epidural kicked in, my blood pressure dropped and DS's heart rate went down to 55 from 160 and I ended up having a c-section anyway. In the end it was a decision I made with my midwife, and even though the epidural probably led to it, there was still the matter of my uncooperative anatomy. Nevertheless, the doctor tried to frighten me into submission, and that pisses me off. My peaceful homebirth turned into major abdominal surgery and put my baby's health at risk and I deserved some







empathy.

What worse is everyone thought I was being naive for trying to have a homebirth, so this sort of proved their point.


----------



## mollyeilis

"my friend who's a nurse tells me 'yeah your doc probably already got paid for your delivery and didn't want to have to pay another doc to actually do it...' THEY DO THIS?!?!?!?!?!"

Well, maybe not ahead of time, but OBs and midwives do "global billing", where everything is bllled at the end, including all the prenatal appointments, the birth, and postnatal. If someone else attends you, then they have to pay that person, rather than keeping the money for themselves.

But I don't think they charge the insurance company ahead of time (though my midwives did charge *me* ahead of time), but afterwards, yes.







:


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alisaterry*
My peaceful homebirth turned into major abdominal surgery and put my baby's health at risk and I deserved some







empathy.

What worse is everyone thought I was being naive for trying to have a homebirth, so this sort of proved their point.

Oh mama, I am so sad reading your post. What is it with doctors? Why do they have such a hard time showing campassion and actually caring about their patients (without whom they wouldn't have their job).

You weren't naive for wanting a homebirth, you were educated. Home is [in most cases] the sanest, safest place to birth our babies. I can just imagine what my and dh's family would say had we needed to transfer, so I sort of understand how hard that must be.


----------



## vancouverlori

On the "not appearing pregnant" theme:
Around 6 months along with DD, I wasn't yet showing much (partly because I really was desperately trying to hide it), and I was babysitting a 7-yr old boy. I was telling him all about how I had played rugby (I quit just around the time I got preggers) and I could see wheels turning. He was really thinking hard about how to put his question, and finally popped out with: "Aren't you a little fat to play rugby?" Which I thought was soooo cute. But weird because I had lost 10 lbs due to morning sickness and looked anorexic from the shoulder blades up! So I explained that most of the players were really much bigger than me and that I was actually pregnant, not fat. Which then got him on the "Aren't you too young to have a baby" track. I was twenty! So then I had to tell his parents about our little discussion, in case he had "birds and bees" type-questions, so they would know where it was coming from.

I can still see his earnest little face...


----------



## MCatLvrMom2A&X

I cant beleive it after almost 4 days I finally reached the end







:
















I read every post and some of them had me







:














some of them made m





































I took notes so I could remember









I dont remember who posted this and I couldnt read my writing







: about the baby eating the fat of your legs in the last few months of pg.







:







:









mamajo2004: Did u think she was a kitten when asked about when the eyes open









mamalotus: What was said about cloth diapers afraid baby would be deformed or bowlegged














: And the one about the Bindhi sticker being a thumbtack







:









Debbiemom: So do the mw's bring the sturrips to attach to the bed at home









Gridley13: That was great Me: Do you know were the public restrooms are?
Them: yes (pointing right over there)
Me: You can go wait in there I will come get you when were done.







:
















Stormimay: The comment about kids being born to close together would cause incest. OMG





































Shishkeberry: Cat on the table squirt, squirt take that haha that was so funny I about wet myself







:














:

Kateana: My dh also thinks it is hot to squirt the bm









Polka: I heard the one about the cat sucking the breath out of the baby to more times than I can count







: usually right before or right after the stupid comment of What r u gonna do with your cats?
















Baby being allergic to bm
















I took depo and never had no trouble with milk production, thank the good Lord The dr never told me it could do that.

i never gave my dd a bath till her cord fell off and she was 3 weeks old before it did. With ds his fell off much sooner. They told me in hospital with dd not to until it fell off.

I also have gotten so many comments and advice on co-sleeping, not circing, bfing, child care etc. Some good some not so good some just out and out were did that come from









Here is a few I thought of.

The nurse when dd was born in the hospital. Coming in to check dd then running off with her to the nursery and having some one else call back to the room and accuse me of trying to freeze her todeath







I was already dealing with ppd and that was so helpfull .

I always said I would have a natural unmedicated birth before dd and I think all I heard every time I mentioned it was "We'll see" then look at me with little smirks who r these people to judge what I can and cannot do anyway







I always wanted to say well I know for a fact that for thousands of years woman did it natural, but never did I was to shy.









You would have thought I was gonna have my second child in a barn when I told people about using a birth center with a midwife.

My mother the other day Well you know formula and bm r basicly the same.









The dentist just the other day when he asked me if I nursed ds to sleep. "You need to find a better way to get him to sleep" WTH????

My fil is the WORST about the comment on pinching the baby.

My fil was also the worst when he found out ds was gonna stay intact. When ds was 2 days old he started to get jaundiced so I called the ped. and they wanted to do a blood test to check levels. So I had my fil to take me as I wasnt up to driving and I wanted to sit in the back with ds. Conversation goes like this:

FIL: so when is he gonna be circed?
Me:







never
FIL: I knew a man who was 75 years old who had to be circed cause of infection.








Me: yes I have heard those stories to








This whole time thinking why in the world and I sitting here talking to my fil about my son's penis grrrr.









In that vain what business is it of anyone what my ds genital's look like?!?!

Oh and this is my favorite from my mom:
Mom: you know if he isnt circ he wont want sex.
Me:














:

When dd was around 3yo just after she had to be examand for possible obstructed bowel. I had to take her in cause she was sick she was very scared of the dr (rightly so) and was throwing a big fit kicking and screaming bloody murder. The ped. looks at me and says "You should really work on getting her trained better"







I mentioned she had been thru a lot not long ago but he wasnt listening.









I get that about spoiling my kids all the time to cause they love me this is supposed to somehow be a bad thing.









When I had dd my mil kept on and on how that dd was jumpy in her sleep and she called it being "hivey" ?? any way she was adament that dd get catnip tea so that she would lay still when she was asleep. I did end up giving in and giving it to her after doing research and I didnt think it would hurt her.







I know that most babies especially newborns tend to move a lot in their sleep it is actually a good thing in my opinion as I always worried about SIDS dd moved so much that I could here and feel her all night and I knew she was ok.
By the way the catnip tea didnt stop her from being "hivey"









FIL always telling my dh he didnt know how to hold a baby when dd was born in a snarky voice.









I think that about covers it. I hope this thread keeps going


----------



## mollyeilis

I think that's the most smilies I've ever seen in one post! Or one thread!









You mentioning your FIL talking about how your hubby held the baby reminded me. I vaguely remember my in laws mentioning how DH held our baby at first. Like they thought he was having a hard time?

But just the other day I was looking through some old pictures, and there was DH as a teen, holding an infant cousin as secure as secure can be, walking outside not a care in the world.

So obviously he knew, and THEY knew (they were with him on the family vacay) that he knew, how to hold a baby.







:


----------



## dknees

My MIL informed me last weekend that my 8 month old has no teeth yet because I'm bf'ing. Apparently, that somehow prevents my son from getting teeth


----------



## mollyeilis

Oh that's funny. How would your MIL explain my exclusivly b'fed beyond 11 months boy who got his first tooth at 5 months and his 16th only one year later?


----------



## boingo82

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dknees*
My MIL informed me last weekend that my 8 month old has no teeth yet because I'm bf'ing. Apparently, that somehow prevents my son from getting teeth









IF ONLY it worked like that. DS had his first teeth at 4 months and knew how to use them! His 16th was in by 14 months.


----------



## pjlioness

Quote:


Originally Posted by *boingo82*
IF ONLY it worked like that. DS had his first teeth at 4 months and knew how to use them! His 16th was in by 14 months.

Yup, if only. (At least for a few months.)


----------



## Nkenga

I'm due in a couple of weeks, so I'm glad I came across this thread - it'll help prepare me for the days/weeks/months ahead!

A couple of stupid/hurtful comments I've gotten:

From dear ol' mom:
"Are you planning on breastfeeding? We'll see how that goes, it's harder than it looks." This from someone who breastfed all THREE of my brothers, the youngest until he was two! How about a little encouragement?!

"Home birth? You're putting yourself and the baby in danger!" Now my mother has a PhD in nursing, I've given her about 15 different studies to read AND the recommendations from the American Public Health Association AND World Health Organization, and she refuses to read any of it.

She didn't start even ASKING me about how the pregnancy was going until I was about 7 months along - maybe she thought it would just disappear? And this is her first grandchild!

However, my grandmother (on my father's side) MORE than makes up for it:
"Homebirth? I don't see the problem - I had four of my kids at home."

"Breastmilk is the best thing for them! You don't give a human baby cow milk, unless you want it to have cow instincts! And soy beans? You want a blockhead???"

"You cannot spoil a baby - if it wants to be held, hold him! That's what your arms are for!"

And the best:
"Just ignore your mama - she means well, but she's crazy."

Nikki
Jon or Gianna guess date 12/30


----------



## Caroline248

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MRDCatLvr*

Oh and this is my favorite from my mom:
Mom: you know if he isnt circ he wont want sex.
Me:














:



I would say "Good, then I know he will always love me best of all"..see what they say to that!

~C~


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Nkenga*
And the best:
"Just ignore your mama - she means well, but she's crazy."

Nikki
Jon or Gianna guess date 12/30























I love it!


----------



## peaceful_mama

Wow your grandma's cool.....the one who says all the good stuff of course!
DH would be all for homebirth if I hadn't been so honest  and told him it's illegal to have a mw come to your house in this state. (which is one of the reasons I won't do it, the other is I've heard from sources I trust of babies whose lives were endangered and in at least one case, permanent major disability resulted from an incompetent mw in this area. I am TOTALLY FOR MIDWIVES. I would have a baby at home if I could have one legally attend. THIS PARTICULAR PERSON was/is incompetent.)
And *I* would do it, if I could have a mw legally. (If I were to find out my doula was some kind of undercover mw,......maybe then.....MAYBE)

My grandma had 3 or 4 of hers at home too---one ALONE, I *think* that was my mom. I wonder what she'd think if I planned a homebirth? I WISH THIS STUPID STATE HAD THE SAME LAWS THEY HAD IN HER DAY......


----------



## lasciate

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MRDCatLvr*
Oh and this is my favorite from my mom:
Mom: you know if he isnt circ he wont want sex.

I have to tell my husband about this. Apparently he's just faking an interest in sex


----------



## RosieTook

Quote:

Originally Posted by MRDCatLvr
Oh and this is my favorite from my mom:
Mom: you know if he isnt circ he wont want sex.

I have to tell my husband about this. Apparently he's just faking an interest in sex
Yeah mine too!!


----------



## nikirj

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lasciate*
I have to tell my husband about this. Apparently he's just faking an interest in sex









Mine three.

Are there no people in Europe?


----------



## artgoddess

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Nkenga*

And the best:
"Just ignore your mama - she means well, but she's crazy."

Nikki
Jon or Gianna guess date 12/30

Your grandma sounds cool.

BTW this was similar to the only advice my ped gave us when we had DS.

1. Nothing but breastmilk for the first 6 months at least.
2. Read to him everyday
3. Don't listen to your mother.


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *artgoddess*
Your grandma sounds cool.

BTW this was similar to the only advice my ped gave us when we had DS.

1. Nothing but breastmilk for the first 6 months at least.
2. Read to him everyday
3. Don't listen to your mother.

Oh man







I think every new mom should be given this advice!


----------



## weliveintheforest

That is awesome advice!


----------



## artgoddess

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CryPixie83*
Oh man







I think every new mom should be given this advice!

Yeah, I really liked him as a ped. He was so "hands off" and just reminded us that we are the parents (in reference to not listening to our mothers etc...)Plus he was thee blocks from our house, we walked there.

The sad part is he was "removed" from the clinic we went to, and talking to some other moms in the area they were glad he wasn't there anymore cause they thought he was way too casual, and didn't like him.


----------



## nhklh

DS is 20 months old. I got some beauties yesterday, being Christmas with hardly-seen relatives.

DP's uncle was looking at one of Liam's new books (touchy-feely kitten book, he loves them), and said to Liam "that cat has food all over his face, he's a naughty cat". So this means that because Liam more often than not has food (or mud or something) all over _his_ face that he is naughty also? Messy = naughty?

From that same uncle, when I told Liam that it was time to stay inside now as it was getting dark, the mozzies were coming out and it was time to calm down ready for bedtime (hint hint!) came up with "the mosquitos will eat you and carry you away".







:

Another "incidenct" rather than something that was said. MIL bought Liam a tshirt and jeans. We'd been out all day, and Liam was wearing his special Christmas outfit that we'd got him, minus the pants, so really just a tshirt and nappy (it's Summer here!). He was fairly clean, and comfortable. MIL undressed him, and put *her* outfit on him. Without asking me or DP or, more importantly DS. This annoyed me soooo much, for so many reasons. It was completely unecessary, disrespectful to all of us, annoying for DS who doesn't like getting dressed or undressed, and most of all I don't want DS to get the message that it's ok for people to take his clothes off!









From DP's brother we had a "sooky baby" comment because DS was crying - he'd just hit his mouth on his swing and was tired and hurt. Apparently he has that "boys don't cry" attitude. Recently Liam was dancing and I told Liam how beautiful I thought his dancing was and BIL said "it's not beautiful dancing, it's cool dancing". So boys can't use the word beautiful?







:

My family is so much saner! The worst we got there were comments from my mother about DS being a messy eater (ummm he's not yet 2!), but she's a neat freak









Thank goodness it's over for another year!


----------



## jrayn

nhklh - your family reminded me of a part of my family, my aunt's dp!!! My daughter was playing with a little toy keyboard that happened to be pink and my aunt's son crawled over and got up to play with it also, he was smiling andhaving fun listening to the music (old mcdonald, on top of old smokey) then his dad said "don't let him play with that it is for girls!!! Get him off it!!" She was trying to tell him, its only a keyboard, it plays music!" But he wasn't having it, just because the toy was the color pink!!!!


----------



## MommyofPunkiePie

At my family gathering last night, I escaped attention from relatives except for a few comments about DD eating more table foods. My DD is 15 months and she eats mostly fruits and vegetables, a little dairy, and some grains. I am introducing new foods as I see fit, so I just laughed at them.
My cousin just had a miscarriage this week. During the course of the evening, my other cousin just went on and on how she never wants children, how she could never even have children, and how it would be up to her sister to provide their parents with grandchildren--all in front of my cousin who has just suffered such a terrible loss! I was like WTF! Luckily, the sister of the oblivious cousin took her aside and asked her to stop being so insensitive.


----------



## nhklh

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jrayn*
his dad said "don't let him play with that it is for girls!!! Get him off it!!" She was trying to tell him, its only a keyboard, it plays music!" But he wasn't having it, just because the toy was the color pink!!!!

I can't remember any specific incididents but I'm sure we've had this one too. I always go with "colours are for everybody". I really don't get the "for girls"/"for boys" thing







:


----------



## nhklh

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyofPunkiePie*
My cousin just had a miscarriage this week. During the course of the evening, my other cousin just went on and on how she never wants children, how she could never even have children, and how it would be up to her sister to provide their parents with grandchildren--all in front of my cousin who has just suffered such a terrible loss! I was like WTF! Luckily, the sister of the oblivious cousin took her aside and asked her to stop being so insensitive.

Many hugs to your cousin. As an "infertile" (3rd year ttc) there are few things worse than that sort of carry-on. It is completely insensitive, thoughtless and just plain hurtful. I'm glad the oblivious cousin got a talking-to!


----------



## jenn5388

just lurking around... Envision loved that one! I would of found it very hard NOT to say anything.. It's pretty stupid. lol I think people tell the stories of why they don't BF to feel Justified in not doing it.. But atleast come up with a good reason. lol Atleast when I finally gave up on BF because of the same reason, I never had to deal with the pain of engorgement. lol People kill me.

I also loved that one about going swimming would drown the baby. Hello? moron! babies LIVE in water! lol
I heard the normal negative comments from people about parenting choices i made, but i also heard Really stupid ones like not lifting my arms above my head because it would strangle the baby.. better not wash my hair again then until after she's born. lol

thanks for the laugh guys!


----------



## SparklyMoose

My mother-in-law was talking about getting Gabriel an Exersaucer for her house. Now, he's had one at home for months, and really, really digs it. Unfortunately, he's been too tall for it for awhile now, so we only put him in it when we're right there. (His feet sit flat in the bottom at the highest setting, which puts it at risk of tipping over. So unless we're RIGHT THERE to keep that from happening, he doesn't get to play in it. Darn tall baby. *grin*)

The instructions specifically say that you shouldn't have them in it after their feet hit the bottom flat because it could tip over. We told her that buying one would be a waste of her money because of that. Her response? "Oh, this one's [the one she's thinking of getting] too wide. It wouldn't tip over." She showed us a picture. IT'S THE SAME ONE WE HAVE. And I know that she'd put him in it and walk away to the kitchen or whatever, because in her head, it's safe. She also wanted to get him one with wheels.


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SparklyMoose*
She also wanted to get him one with wheels.









Wouldn't that make it a walker?


----------



## MelissaEvans

I was talking to my MIL on Christmas, and we get along fine. A mommy on my birth support group mentioned how people ask "How are you?" as if you have a terminal disease when you're pregnant. MIL does this and I kinda laugh inside (I know many women do have rough times and so seriously questioning their wellbeing makes sense, but I've been pretty lucky and MIL knows my pregnancies have been easy - please don't kill me.) So I tell her about our last midwife visit. MW guesstimated baby is about 4lbs and would be aobut 9lbs at birth. If I went over my due date, we might have another 10 pounder. DS was 10lbs 2oz and a c/sec. There were many factors that brought me to the surgery, and I honestly don't think it was necessary. I've been over these factors with MIL several times. She's nodded, as if to agree. So she askes "What will you do then?" refering to a possible 10 pound baby again. "MW's not worried, she catches them all the time." "But you couldn't do it last time." Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence. Thanks for remembering the pain that I've told you that c/sec brought for me. It was so passive-aggressive it just ticked me off. It was funny, I didn't eve see where she was going with the 10 pound worry, it didn't even cross my mind that I couldn't birth this baby regardless of size. I feel so at peace this time. I wish I could convey that to her.

Then she asks if we have names picked out. With DS, we had a list of 11 boys and 11 girls names, but the list was considered classified and we told no one. We wanted to meet the little persone before naming and didn't want to deal with "You want to name him what?" crud that I know my family would pull. So I don't know if she thinks we'd tell her this time or what, but I admitted that I made it through the boy's names in the book, but not the girl's names. "You better get on it!" As if I don't know babies need names. I have at least a month! I'm not worried about it! But, she has to worry (and nag) about everything.


----------



## mollyeilis

*MelissaEvans* hugs about what your MIL said.







It's that sort of thing that's likely going to keep us from telling *anyone* who knows what happens with DS's arrival that we're even pregnant next time.







And my guy was only 7 lbs 12 oz (we later realized he a. wasn't ready to be born and it was only prodromal labor, b. was posterior, and c. had one or both hands at his cheek.







) when forced out at 42 weeks 3 days. In the future I'm counting from 44 rather than 40 (hubby was a 44 week baby and my whole family goes "long", and DS showed some signs that he wasn't ready, so I'm not psyching myself into fear of a long pregnancy, but rather acceptance). Anyway, I can't even imagine what some of my "friends" and relatives might have to say about the possibility of a bigger baby, since they've closed their ears to me long before we figured out how badly he was positioned and that I wasn't in "true" labor...

Might be a bit late for you, but I think the future will bring the following phrase: "we don't discuss what will or will not issue forth from Molly's vagina, thank you very much." And if the use of the V word doesn't shut 'em up, I don't know what will!









By the way, good luck with your VBAC!!!!!!!!!


----------



## kater07

MelissaEvans,

I too am sorry for your MIL's insensitivity. She's probably just not thinking. Don't let it worry you. I did it AT HOME ALL ALONE, so you can VBAC TOO!

I keep hearing people ask me if DD is comfy in there (pointing at the sling). If she's not comfy, wouldn't she cry?

I am also tired of people asking me where her red hair comes from (I am blonde, DS is blonde and DH is brown) then questioning and gufawing when I say she looks exactly as I did at her age. Why can't anyone believe that DD got her red hair from me? DS's hair was nearly black when he was born and it's white blonde now.

GGrr!


----------



## MelissaEvans

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mollyeilis*
Might be a bit late for you, but I think the future will bring the following phrase: "we don't discuss what will or will not issue forth from Molly's vagina, thank you very much." And if the use of the V word doesn't shut 'em up, I don't know what will!









By the way, good luck with your VBAC!!!!!!!!!

Thank you! I love the quote! =) And thank you for your support. I love this site.


----------



## janerose

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kater07*
I am also tired of people asking me where her red hair comes from (I am blonde, DS is blonde and DH is brown) then questioning and gufawing when I say she looks exactly as I did at her age. Why can't anyone believe that DD got her red hair from me? DS's hair was nearly black when he was born and it's white blonde now.

We get this a lot too. We both have dark brown hair and eyes. DD has blonde hair & blue eyes (VERY bright blue too).

I was getting *really* sick of the whole "mailman" comment. Luckily I've been able to stop that one with, "Well, that'd be a real challenge since our "mailman" is a woman." That usually shuts them up pretty quick.









Blessings,
Holly


----------



## ToniaStarr

It's taken me forever to read this thread and I still have not read it all. Wanted to add to it though.
My mom made a comment when my son was a newborn about how she had read somewhere about moms nursing thier babies till they were two or three and wasn't that just Gross??? I looked at her and said matter of factly that I fully intended to nursehim as long as he wanted and actually the world average is 4.5 yrs. She did not have a response to that.
She also commented about my sons being intact. That she thought it made thier penis's look ugly. Okay, actually, she said thier "thing" LOL The woman cannot even say penis. As a child my brother had a weinnie and I had a "down there" I am not even lying about that. It just kills her that now she has two grandsons who say penis and vagina and breastfeeding. LOL
I get the whole "Is he a good baby" question alot. I just smile and say of course. What am I supposed to say? "well, actually, he is on probation for robbing a bank but his parole officer says he is doing much better. How can you have a "bad" baby?????


----------



## Childishgoth

ToniaStarr What am I supposed to say? "well said:


> I AM going to use that!!!! oh yes yes yes the next person whoa skes me will get this answer that


----------



## barbaral6

ok, I should be doing a thousand different things right now but I can't stop reading "just one more..."
I have a bunch but these 2 stick in my head.
Went for 18 month check-up with baby # 3. Our doctor had a new partner and things were a bit crazy that day. The nurse asked if we minded seeing the new doctor. We said no problem.
During the course of the exam the doc was asking some questions-
Why didn't he get his mmr yet? What were we waiting for? He's not speaking yet? He needs early intervention. She was just going on and on. Our regular ped has known us for 11 years. He never questions anything we do.
Well, here's the punch line:
I told her that Brian was still nursing and she turned to me with a look of disgust and said WHY? All I could do was shrug my shoulders and tell her I was planning on letting him wean himself. She rambled on some more about how I should wean him right away, blah blah,but I couldn't hear her through the shock. Needless to say, I wont be going back to her!
Here's another-
My mother is a great person. She loves my kids to death and they love her. It's just that sometimes she says these far out, ignorant things.
When I was pregnant with #3 she was over and I was stretching over my head for something. She said that I should never do that because my cousin's ex(he's about 35 years older than me) had a stillborn baby because she hung her curtains while she was pregnant. I said please tell me this woman has not had to live with this guilt her whole life! Mom said she's sure she has.
Here's the next punchline:
#3 was born with a huge knot in the umbilical cord. You know my mother is convinced that it happened because I was raising my arms during my pregnancy : )
Thanks guys, this place is alot of fun.
Baby #4 is on the way. Should be interesing!
Happy new year
Barbara


----------



## barbaral6

ok, I should be doing a thousand different things right now but I can't stop reading "just one more..."
I have a bunch but these 2 stick in my head.
Went for 18 month check-up with baby # 3. Our doctor had a new partner and things were a bit crazy that day. The nurse asked if we minded seeing the new doctor. We said no problem.
During the course of the exam the doc was asking some questions-
Why didn't he get his mmr yet? What were we waiting for? He's not speaking yet? He needs early intervention. She was just going on and on. Our regular ped has known us for 11 years. He never questions anything we do.
Well, here's the punch line:
I told her that Brian was still nursing and she turned to me with a look of disgust and said WHY? All I could do was shrug my shoulders and tell her I was planning on letting him wean himself. She rambled on some more about how I should wean him right away, blah blah,but I couldn't hear her through the shock. Needless to say, I wont be going back to her!
Here's another-
My mother is a great person. She loves my kids to death and they love her. It's just that sometimes she says these far out, ignorant things.
When I was pregnant with #3 she was over and I was stretching over my head for something. She said that I should never do that because my cousin's ex(he's about 35 years older than me) had a stillborn baby because she hung her curtains while she was pregnant. I said please tell me this woman has not had to live with this guilt her whole life! Mom said she's sure she has.
Here's the next punchline:
#3 was born with a huge knot in the umbilical cord. You know my mother is convinced that it happened because I was raising my arms during my pregnancy : )
Thanks guys, this place is alot of fun.
Baby #4 is on the way. Should be interesing!
Happy new year
Barbara


----------



## snarfywarning

Yesterday at work, my manager (who just had her baby) told me that I couldn't take baths while I was pregnant because the bath water might get up into my uterus, and mess him up or something stupid like that.

I was like "I have only heard the old wives tale that it is for laboring mothers or something..."

Then she is like "But People birth their babies in water while in labor! Arn't you doing that?"

"Yes...which is why the 'not taking a bath' rule is obviously wrong."

I love her so much. ^^


----------



## sweetpea333

i went to see my nurse practitioner when i got pregnant, and she had an assistant student nurse or something.... anyways... i went because i needed to get an order for blood work to be done and get a referal to a ob, and the assistant asked if i thought about getting an abortion, like she was suggesting that i should. I didn't say i wasnt happy about being pregnant, i thought that that was really rude.


----------



## snarfywarning

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Nkenga*

...You don't give a human baby cow milk, unless you want it to have cow instincts! ...


Oh Man, that is so beautiful. Because in my head the only thing I saw was like.. cows and babies on a grassy pasture together.


----------



## snarfywarning

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sweetpea333*
i went to see my nurse practitioner when i got pregnant, and she had an assistant student nurse or something.... anyways... i went because i needed to get an order for blood work to be done and get a referal to a ob, and the assistant asked if i thought about getting an abortion, like she was suggesting that i should. I didn't say i wasnt happy about being pregnant, i thought that that was really rude.


----------



## SumnerRain

I was 17 when I got pregnant with my son, and married my DH when I turned 18. In the final month of my pregnancy I was boarding the city bus to go to my OB appointment and an elderly lady smiled at my belly and said "Oh you sweet thing, your so young, how long have you been married?" I told her I got married 2 months ago. Her eyes got huge and she said "you mean you got pregnant out of wedlock?" and gave me a disgusted look. I told her "no, I got pregnant on my wedding night and just popped out really early". She said "well I never!" and got off on the very next stop.

Fast forward 7 years and I was pregnant with #3. I just found out I was having my third boy and I was celebrating by getting a new BLUE layette. The checkout clerk at an the store said "Ohhh, your pregnant, what are you having?" I told her I was having a boy and I was







about it. She looked down at my 8 and 7 year old sons and said "Awww, I am so sorry.... I bet you wanted a sister! Its OK to be sad about it, sisters are so much fun. Tell your mommy you don't want another brother".







I was livid! I am always getting comments on my three boys... people asking if I plan on trying for a girl, if I am done, or how full my hands are with three boys. But HOW DARE YOU talk to my children like that!! I had a few women ask if I was bummed #3 was going to be a boy, and I said "I tried 6 years to have a BABY, not a DAUGHTER". That usually shuts them up!!

I am apalled by some of comments you ladies have gotten not only from medical professionals, but the ignorance involving breast feeding! Uhg!


----------



## KLK7

I have one to add from new years:

We were at a New Years party with almost 5-month old DD. There were a lot of people and commotion and DD was quietly taking it all in. You know, observing the activity with wide eyes.

An acquaintance asked why DD wasn't babbling. The lady said that since she wasn't talking, that DD probably has speech problems and we should get her evaluated. And she "should know because she's a retired speech therapist". All from a 5 minute observation in a crowded room.


----------



## ColesMommy

I have a couple of BFing related ones to share...

A couple of weeks ago, my aunt was in town and I knew that she BF all 5 of her kids but didn't know for how long, so I asked (DS is 5 1/2 months so I'm starting to prepare myself for all of the "how long are you going to do that for" comments I anticipate getting when I don't wean him!) Anyway, she let her kids self-wean so they were all BF for various lengths of time but I think that the longest she BF one for was about 2 years. My mom was in the room when I asked but she didn't say anything about it.

Fast forward about a week and my mom and I were talking about DS not getting solids until he was at least 6 months old and how things have changed since I was a baby. Out of nowhere, she adds, "You know, when you were a baby, it seems like they recommened BFing for a year and then somewhere along the line, someone decided that it's ok to BF your child forever like my sister did." The thing is, my mom has been awesome about supporting me and even stood up for me when my MIL was visiting and making snarky comments about me BFing. I guess it's good as long as I don't do it for "too long??"

Yesterday, I stopped by the place I worked up until Cole was born. I was talking to two of the girls I used to work with and one asked if I was still BFing Cole. I answered that I am and the other girl, a nursing student, said, "Good for you. That's awesome." Girl #1 asks, "Why? Is BM better than formula?" In her defense, she's only 21 and based on conversations we've had, I don't think that anyone in her family BFs.

A final gem from my mom (she really is an awesome, well educated woman, I swear!) - we went to lunch with my uncle one day and Cole started to fuss right when we got there. It was obvious that he was hungry so she says, "You could just go in the bathroom to feed him." I couldn't believe she actually said that and all I could reply with was, "What, you want me to go into a public restroom and plop my butt down on a toilet to feed your grandchild? Would you eat your lunch in there?" She got the idea...


----------



## sophiekat

my mother (!!!!!!!) told me not to bathe her if it's below 50 degrees outside -- HELLO!? !? not bathing her outside! and we lie in colorado! what am i supposed to do, go all winter? (really scary to me, i was raised here, so did she bathe me? ? ? ? )


----------



## Lyntley

"Drinking too much water will dilute your breast milk"

"Does that Tickle?"

"When I have children, I'm never gonna..."


----------



## allgirls

I was told by a woman who was expecting twins that the reason you shouldn't shake a baby is because their organs are just floating around in there and not attached until they are bigger so if you shake them their organs will move all over and be in the wrong place and they will die.

I asked her where she heard this(once I stopped laughing) and she said her husband told her. I told her to read a book and told her the real reason for not shaking babies.

I doubt she read it though..she knew more about everything because she was having twins and I only had my babies one at a time(her words)


----------



## Shaunam

Quote:


Originally Posted by *allgirls*
I was told by a woman who was expecting twins that the reason you shouldn't shake a baby is because their organs are just floating around in there and not attached until they are bigger so if you shake them their organs will move all over and be in the wrong place and they will die.

I asked her where she heard this(once I stopped laughing) and she said her husband told her. I told her to read a book and told her the real reason for not shaking babies.

I doubt she read it though..she knew more about everything because she was having twins and I only had my babies one at a time(her words)











omg...that's hilarious!

In the hospital, after I had DS, they had me watch a video about shaken baby syndrome (that, and one about car seat safety). I wonder if she was shown something similar and maybe it cleared up some of the misinformation her hubby so kindly handed to her.


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *allgirls*
I doubt she read it though..she knew more about everything because she was having twins and I only had my babies one at a time(her words)









Yea, because THAT makes a whole lot of sense!


----------



## boingo82

Quote:


Originally Posted by *allgirls*
I was told by a woman who was expecting twins that the reason you shouldn't shake a baby is because their organs are just floating around in there and not attached until they are bigger so if you shake them their organs will move all over,,,

See now if that were the case, every pregnancy would be fatal. I don't know about you, but I don't normally keep my intestines up in my lungs.


----------



## gabysmom617

I've got 2:

DS was a couple weeks old, and we were in church, and there was a little toddler boy sitting directly behind us and he had a bottle. DS was only about 3 or 4 weeks old. I was sitting there with him over my shoulder.

Anyhow, after it was over, a little elderly lady, bless her heart, came over to me and said, "My goodness! He's so smart, he was staring at that little boys bottle, he already knows what it is! He was looking like he wanted some milk from that little boys bottle!"

I was like, "Um, actually, he's never even seen a bottle before. I nurse him."

She was like, "Oh....hm. Well, he still knew what it was, I declare he was just staring at that bottle! He knew what it was for! You'd be surprised how smart babies are!"























This next one shows just how badly folks in my home town need to be educated.

A girl I know who has a toddler came and talked to me one day. She told me how she wished she had breastfed, and how she "couldn't" cause her nipples were hurting after her C-section. Then she asked me, "Did you start breastfeeding right away, or did you decide to do it when he was a little older?"
I was like, "Um..







...when it comes to breastfeeding, you can't do it later. You gotta do it from the get-go." She was like, "Oh, I didn't know that, I thought you could do it a few days afterwards. I was going to do it later, but I never did."


----------



## thunderkitty

I actually had a lady from WIC tell me when my DD was 11 Months that I had to stop breastfeeding and give her cows milk and that I could never nurse her to sleep because it caused baby "bottle" tooth decay and I asked her why they didn't call it baby breast tooth decay then and she just ignored me and told me it was "very" dangerous! HAHA! Yeah let me tell you my DD is now a few weeks shy of 2 and still nursing strong not drinking any cows milk (as we are now vegan) and to my amazment wow basiclly perfect teeth. Warning to all you mothers out there, not all the people that work at WIC are out to help you with advice, if you need the food get it but, take the advice very lightly unless it's something you can personally back up. Oh oh and I had a friend tell me that holding and nursing your child too much "spoils them.


----------



## allgirls

I thought about it after but never said to her "how do babies ever survive all the squishing during labour if their organs are all loose?

She was a real maroon though...my cousin and I( we were all pregnant at the same time) used to go down to visit her just to see what gems she would come out with that day. But she was a really sweet girl but just not very bright and really really gullible..her DH was perfect for her.

Oh, the reason she thought she knew more about children, birth, babies etc. was because she was having twins and God trusted people with what they were suited for so she must have known more, be better at being a mommy because she was blessed with twins and we were only given one at a time because we weren't quite up to the challenge.


----------



## jrayn

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thunderkitty*
I actually had a lady from WIC tell me when my DD was 11 Months that I had to stop breastfeeding and give her cows milk and that I could never nurse her to sleep because it caused baby "bottle" tooth decay and I asked her why they didn't call it baby breast tooth decay then and she just ignored me and told me it was "very" dangerous! HAHA! Yeah let me tell you my DD is now a few weeks shy of 2 and still nursing strong not drinking any cows milk (as we are now vegan) and to my amazment wow basiclly perfect teeth. Warning to all you mothers out there, not all the people that work at WIC are out to help you with advice, if you need the food get it but, take the advice very lightly unless it's something you can personally back up. Oh oh and I had a friend tell me that holding and nursing your child too much "spoils them.
















ahh yes the WIC nutritionist! I just went there last week and besides having to wait with a very hyper 1 year old and no lunch







The paper I have to fill out that has everything I fed my baby the day before wasn't even read! Then she asked me if I put her on cows milk yet, I said no I am nursing her. She gave me information about feeding her that I already knew and if she took the time to read the paper she would have seen that I did, and then she finished her "very informative" speech with, make sure you start her on cows milk....


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *allgirls*

Oh, the reason she thought she knew more about children, birth, babies etc. was because she was having twins and God trusted people with what they were suited for so she must have known more, be better at being a mommy because she was blessed with twins and we were only given one at a time because we weren't quite up to the challenge.









That's hilarious, especially since I know crack whores (literally) with twins and smart, compassionate and healthy women who can't have kids....







:


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## kater07

Last night my parents said that it is ridiculous to be in the habit of closing and locking the pool safety fence when the kids don't live there. They will make sure it's closed when they ARE there, but the whole thing started b/c they were supposed to babysit and keep DS overnight and when we got there, they'd forgotten it was open, and the sliding glass door to the pool was unlocked too.

"Oh, I forgot that was open"

But I am ridiculous and foolish to want it to be a habit so my kids who can both open the sliding glass door won't drown.


----------



## jefnsean

MIL came up with a gem today... I'm due with #2 in February. MIL refuses to fly out (she doesn't fly, doesn't drive by herself, etc...) to help with DD while I'm having #2.

But...If we send not-yet-fully-weaned DD to Ohio (we live in Idaho), she'll watch her while I have the baby.







That means DH would have to fly her there, and then fly to go pick her up because she is too young to fly by herself (not yet 2 years old). What's the point?

This is also the woman who also told me over Thanksgiving that she won't watch someone's kid unless she was allowed to spank the child... And this was after I told her that I won't spank my kids...


----------



## jrayn

I was visiting relatives and my daughter was running around being curious (what 1 yr olds do) I was telling my friend's mother about my Christmas tree episode, it started out decorated completely, my daughter was very interested so I removed the breakables and chokables and let her go at it, she ended up completely knocking the tree over (its only 4 feet tall and fake)
The lady said "you should have smacked her hand or spanked her butt"

I said, she is only 1 years old I am not hitting my daughter!" (I wont ever but didn't want to start taht debate)

She then replied, "you got to let them know what they can't do"

I said "she probably wouldn't respond to something like that anyways"

She replies "If you hit her enough she will" "Thats whats wrong with the world today, kids aren't spanked anymore..."

I just shut up after that one b/c that is the perfect beginning to a hot debate and there was a newborn present.


----------



## lovebug

ok im not a mam yet but........

mother in law says that CD are to hard and i am dumb to do it she also said that BF is not something that you need to do and that i should have form. on hand just in case .......whatever!


----------



## lovebug

oh yeah and that i might want drug......... she does not know that! makes me mad


----------



## guestmama9911

Quote:

She replies "If you hit her enough she will" "Thats whats wrong with the world today, kids aren't spanked anymore..."
IF YOU HIT HER ENOUGH????? Good glorious Glaven!









I look at my crying screaming 2 month old DS and even in my most frazzled moments I cannot even fathom using physical force on him. I don't know how anyone looks at a small child and thinks "I'll just hurt him. That will teach him." It just makes me all.....grrrrrrrrr......arrrrrrgh!


----------



## coobabysmom

My son is uncircumcised and my DH's brother and his wife just can't get over it. Last time I saw her she told me this half-baked story that she heard on the radio about a guy who, as an adult, elected for a circumcision because he kept getting a yeast infections... she was just letting me know that "it" gets really dirty "under there" and that it needs to be cleaned. ...ugh!









This is the same women who told me that I was only able to have an unmediated birth because I am a redhead. According to this whipsmart, redheads have a higher pain threshhold than other women with different hair colors (WHAT?! Did she forget that I dye my brown hair?!)







:

She also suggested that I give my breastfed ds, 1 month old at the time, a little ice cream- "he'll just love the sugar!" eek!

There's more but it's just getting me mad all over again...


----------



## allgirls

coobabysmom~next time sil brings up circumcism tell her you find it a little creepy that she's so fascinated by your sons penis...take her aside and be very serious...she won't mention it again.


----------



## cinnamonamon

Quote:


Originally Posted by *allgirls*
coobabysmom~next time sil brings up circumcism tell her you find it a little creepy that she's so fascinated by your sons penis...take her aside and be very serious...she won't mention it again.


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *allgirls*
coobabysmom~next time sil brings up circumcism tell her you find it a little creepy that she's so fascinated by your sons penis...take her aside and be very serious...she won't mention it again.

















: I am so going to use that (assuming this baby is a boy) on my MIL, because I just know she's going to say *something*







:


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## nonniecita

this one is about feeding dd...
While visiting in-laws, FIL pulls out some chocolate (knows dd, 8.5 mo's, hasn't started solids yet, let alone artificial chocolate), tries to give dd a piece (okay, she'd choke) and when I telll him she can't have it, he replies "Let her live". I said "Uh, she is living"...duh. He also said the same thing when dh and I told them she couldn't have a lollipop for Halloween...whatever!
Michelle


----------



## artgoddess

Quote:


Originally Posted by *coobabysmom*
This is the same women who told me that I was only able to have an unmediated birth because I am a redhead. According to this whipsmart, redheads have a higher pain threshhold than other women with different hair colors (WHAT?! Did she forget that I dye my brown hair?!)







:









That is hillarious!


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## hellyaellen

i work in a restaraunt and I don't know what was up the other night. Every baby that came in i saw in their carseat carrier with a propped bottle!!! Do people really find it so difficult to feed their dc!? and isn't that a choking hazard?

My sister who i know knows it is bad to bottle prop (because my mother and i have both told her) puts her ds to bed with a bottle propped.









bottle propping = a statement thats louder than words!


----------



## DoubleOven

:


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## Shenjall

yeah...and dont bother feeding them now either, they'll just expect it when they are older......


----------



## SparklyMoose

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DoubleOven*
We would play low soothing classical music in her room during the night sometimes. "Oh well if you play that now you'll be playing it forever. I wouldn't play it."

OH MY GOD! Your child might grow up to appreciate music that isn't pop star in nature! She might have some culture and broadened horizons! What a horrible momma you are...

What the hell kind of objection is this? (I imagine they were saying that putting music on at night would mean she can't fall asleep without music eventually, but....that's just dumb.)


----------



## guestmama9911

Here are some gems straight off the handouts they give the parents at my pediatric office.

Off of the two week check hand out:
"Even if your baby is gaining wll on breast milk, now is a good time to introduce a very small amount of formula each day. This allows your baby to develop a taste for formula, giving you greater freedom in later months as you may go out and let another person feed your baby."
(my comment on this one - even if I wanted to let someone else feed the baby besides me, it would be with flavorful expressed breast milk, not bland formula)
"Vitamin supplementation is only needed for babies who are nursing. Please give TriViSol (vitamins A, C and D), 1 ml per day, available without a prescription."
(My comment - even if I believed the crap about every bf baby needing vit D, what's with the A and C?)
"Don't always hold or rock your baby to sleep, as babies grow up thinking that being held is the only way tgo to sleep."
(And that's detrimental because......?)
"Dress lightly in summer, warmer in winter."
(Parents need to be told this?????)

The two month visit handout that I just got today:
"By now, babies should have established regular feeding and sleeping schedules."
(Yes, mine is Eat When Hungry, Sleep When Sleepy)
"Dress lightly in summer, warmer in winter."
(Because you probably haven't figured that out in the last two months)

At least my pediatrician didn't protest when I said I was delaying vax and doing them one at a time, and some not at all, though he did remind me that studies show multiple vax at a time are perfectly safe and combined so baby doesn't have to suffer so many shots. As though poking my baby with extra shots makes me a bad mother - as opposed to exposing him to 6 diseases all at once and expecting his little baby immune system to somehow develop an efficient immunity to them simultaneously. Hm. I could solve both problems by skipping them entirely - but that's another post for another board.


----------



## coobabysmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *allgirls*
coobabysmom~next time sil brings up circumcism tell her you find it a little creepy that she's so fascinated by your sons penis...take her aside and be very serious...she won't mention it again.









Harliarous comeback! I bet she'll be speachless (for the first time ever with me!)

Thanks Allgirls







!


----------



## coobabysmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *artgoddess*







That is hillarious!

She's the expert, or plays one in our family!!! ha ha!

But, seriously these comments are more about her than me... feels like some sort of twisted competition...


----------



## mamagirl

How 'bout this:

Ds and I:







:

"Well-meaning" Stranger: Is that secure? Aren't you afraid of dropping him? That must be a new way of carrying babies!

Me (in my head): ::dripping with sarcasm:: Yes I am hoping to drop him, that is why he is in the sling. I just LOVE hurting babies. I invented carrying him this way expressly to hurt him. Dumbass









Me (out loud): Uh, he's alright.

If I said what I wanted too, mainstreamers would get the wrong ideas about AP mamas!


----------



## Doodadsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *coobabysmom*
This is the same women who told me that I was only able to have an unmediated birth because I am a redhead. According to this whipsmart, redheads have a higher pain threshhold than other women with different hair colors (WHAT?! Did she forget that I dye my brown hair?!)







:


That's odd...awhile back I heard of a study suggesting redheads need more anesthetic than other people. I know it's true for me - I ask for extra for dental work after too many times of getting the shots and having them start working on me and feeling it, then getting the shots again. So if there's any truth to it, I think it's the other way around!

Oh, and for my interesting comment...I had a nurse tell me I could give my infant DS tea (chamomile, I think) sweetened with a little honey...


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Doodadsmom*

Oh, and for my interesting comment...I had a nurse tell me I could give my infant DS tea (chamomile, I think) sweetened with a little honey...

Awesome! So if your DS has ragweed allergies you could trigger those to go right along with the botulism from the honey







: Is it sad that many times I've wanted to say that nurses and doctors should give medical information?







Honey for an infant.....


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## boingo82

Me: (21-ish weeks pregnant, going to a meeting at a car dealership with coworker)
Coworker (in his 50s or 60s): So, you're not going to have that baby today are you?
Me: Um...I have at least 4 months left.
Coworker: No, I mean it...I wouldn't know what to do if you went into labor.
Me: You realize that the baby couldn't even possibly SURVIVE right now?
<silence>

10 minutes later...repeat conversation.

Repeat coworker's inquiry 2 MORE times that day.
Me: (wishing I could tell him to just shut the __ up.)

Yeah...so I am short waisted and went from "possibly getting fat" at 15 weeks to "OMG PREGNANT" at 21 weeks...does not mean I'm about to ____ing deliver.

Went through this last time too, with a dumb checker at Albertsons who INSISTED I was due any day when I was 6 freaking months along.

EARTH TO EVERYBODY! DO NOT GUESS HOW PREGNANT THE PREGNANT PERSON IS!!!! EVER!!!!


----------



## weliveintheforest

Quote:


Originally Posted by *boingo82*
EARTH TO EVERYBODY! DO NOT GUESS HOW PREGNANT THE PREGNANT PERSON IS!!!! EVER!!!!

You're right, that is so annoying. Also right up there is, "are you there's only one in there?" Um, yes, I'm sure.


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## hellyaellen

I was talking about wic with my mom last night and how I don't bother with it anymore now that we have foodstamps. I was talking about how the good stuff ( organics ) don't qualify and I don't need the formula. And she said "Well you are going to use formula eventually" and I just looked at here and was like "Why on earth would I do that" and she said "What are you gonna do, breast feed him till he's a year old?" So I said "Actually the aap and the who reccommend bfing for at least the first year and as long after that as mutually desired" she didn't say anything after that.


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## wsgrl84

One of my "smart" friend from high school was eating dinner with me and said to me, "Its not that hard being a mom right?".... followed by a long silence from me and my dh....


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## mamarhu

I was nusing my daughter in a park, when a woman came up and asked, "Is that your first grandchild?" I admit I was 38, but hardly elderly! And there she was, latched right on!

Another time, I was at the beach with ElderSon, who was maybe 18 months old. He was naked, playing in the sand, and another little boy, in a designer swimsuit, similar age, came over to join him. I was enjoing watching their interactions, and didn't notice the furious Mom come from behind me. She swooped over me, snatched up her child, yelling, "I don't want my son exposed to that sort of thing!" I asked, calmly and sympathetically, "oh, your son doesn't have a penis?"


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## guestmama9911

I had a good one the other day at my health food store. I was buying up a bunch of dairy-free products and was explaining to the cashier that my DS gets colicky when I have dairy so I need to go dairy free to keep breastfeeding. She looked at me bright eyed and said "You can still nurse if he's allergic to milk?" I didn't get her question since I had just explained that I was eliminating the dairy when it dawned on me what she meant.

In the nicest, most non-judgmental voice I could come up with, I said "He's only allergic to cow's milk. He's OK with my milk." She looked genuinely relieved.

"So that's good that you can keep breastfeeding," she said.

"Yeah," I said, "it's really good."









Poor thing.


----------



## guestmama9911

I almost forgot another weird one. My poor DS HATES his car seat with a seething passion. We had just finished grocery shopping and DH was putting our little man into the CAR SEAT OF DOOM and he started screaming as usual. Suddenly an older lady we had never met, who was getting into her own car near us, said "Sounds like someone is allergic to milk!"

Huh?







How do you determine that from across a parking lot by listening to a baby crying in a car? I answered "Actually he really hates being in a car seat." She actually paued for a moment and looked..well...almost disappointed.

She said "Oh" and then paused as though she was thinking about it and then got into her car.







: My husband and I looked at each other with the same "What the..." expression on our face.

When we got into the car, DH looked at me and said "That was really weird." Uh, yes. Yes, it was.


----------



## boingo82

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamarhu*
.,,
Another time, I was at the beach with ElderSon, who was maybe 18 months old. He was naked, playing in the sand, and another little boy, in a designer swimsuit, similar age, came over to join him. I was enjoing watching their interactions, and didn't notice the furious Mom come from behind me. She swooped over me, snatched up her child, yelling, "I don't want my son exposed to that sort of thing!" I asked, calmly and sympathetically, "oh, your son doesn't have a penis?"









:


----------



## pjlioness

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamarhu*
She swooped over me, snatched up her child, yelling, "I don't want my son exposed to that sort of thing!" I asked, calmly and sympathetically, "oh, your son doesn't have a penis?"


----------



## newbad

After the birth of our first child my sister informed me that I needed to "spit in her mouth, so that she would know who her mother was"... I just looked at her and said "I think she knows who her mother is". LOL My hubby and I still crack jokes about this 7 years later.


----------



## mollyeilis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alisaterry*
My poor DS HATES his car seat with a seething passion. We had just finished grocery shopping and DH was putting our little man into the CAR SEAT OF DOOM and he started screaming as usual. Suddenly an older lady we had never met, who was getting into her own car near us, said "Sounds like someone is allergic to milk!"

Huh?







How do you determine that from across a parking lot by listening to a baby crying in a car?

So here's the strange thing. My dad was just visiting, and they weren't as vigilant about giving E (almost 20 months old) the NON-cheese part of the pizza we were eating, and DS ended up getting a substantial amount of cheese, his first real dairy (since I don't live on a dairy farm, my milk is not "dairy"). A couple hours later, the screaming began, as his little belly started to attempt to digest it (lucky for me, the grandparents were still there, to see his body's reaction to their laziness), and the screams sounded *exactly* the same as his "please no car seat, NO CAR SEAT auuuuugggggggh" screams.


----------



## guestmama9911

Quote:

So here's the strange thing. My dad was just visiting, and they weren't as vigilant about giving E (almost 20 months old) the NON-cheese part of the pizza we were eating, and DS ended up getting a substantial amount of cheese, his first real dairy (since I don't live on a dairy farm, my milk is not "dairy"). A couple hours later, the screaming began, as his little belly started to attempt to digest it (lucky for me, the grandparents were still there, to see his body's reaction to their laziness), and the screams sounded exactly the same as his "please no car seat, NO CAR SEAT auuuuugggggggh" screams.
DS' car seat scream has more of a protest to it while his "You ate something wrong today" cry is more piercing. What was weird was this stranger making this out-of-the-blue comment in a grocery store parking lot. I can't imagine what would happen to DS if he had actual cheese and no just breast milk with dairy in it. He'd be homicidal!!


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## LukeDuke

My mother told me "Whatever you do, don't ever sleep with a child"

Wow! I'm so happy I figured that one out fast! Co-sleeping has been a delightful and necessary act.


----------



## Sierra

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alisaterry*
I almost forgot another weird one. My poor DS HATES his car seat with a seething passion. We had just finished grocery shopping and DH was putting our little man into the CAR SEAT OF DOOM and he started screaming as usual. Suddenly an older lady we had never met, who was getting into her own car near us, said "Sounds like someone is allergic to milk!"

I can't remember if I posted about this before, but this sooooo reminds me of the time that we took dfs to dinner at his birth grandmother's house. We were there along with his birth grandmother's "best friend."

We warned dfs's grandmother and her friend at the begining of the evening that dfs had refused to nap all day and may not last that long. He slept for a few minutes before we sat down at the dinner table, but he woke up still quite tired. He was just getting to that stage he's in now where he gets too distracted to sleep unless he is at home. He's just too busy interacting with the world when "out and about."

During dinner, we let dfs's grandmother feed him Spanish rice because he'd had it before, likes it, and tolerates it well. He was loving it and kept screaming for more when he ran out. After we ate for a bit, we offered to take dfs so his grandmother could eat, and we fed him a little more rice when he "asked" for some. Overall he had a lot of rice, but it wasn't the largest meal he'd ever had or anything.

So after dinner dfs was getting really fussy, and we explained that the no-naps day was starting to catch up with him and that we would need to go home and put him to bed. We were packing up as dfs's grandmother and her friend held him. As we were packing up, he began having a major overtired meltdown, and was screaming these terrible, "I am so tired I can't take it anymore" cries. I wanted so badly to just bolt out of there so we could get him home and into a deep sleep, but we had to pack up a number of items that his grandmother was giving him.

Well, his grandmother's friend started in on how he was crying because we all fed him too much rice







..."I knew you shouldn't have fed him that much rice," "He's crying because his tummy hurts," "Poor thing. It's all that rice," and so on.

As any mom, I know his cries inside and out, and they were tired cries. At first I ignored the comments, but after it went on for a while, I tried to signal my disagreement by saying in a very doubtful tone of voice, "You think?!" When it continued, I said, "Actually, this is his tired cry." But even after I said that she went and was holding him on her arm with his tummy against her arm (a position he's always hated to boot), and was saying how that might help relieve the pain.









But the icing on the cake was when she said, "His poor tummy is distended. It's as tight as a drum from all that rice. Oh, poor baby."







His tummy was tight because every little muscle in his body was tense from crying. As soon as we got home and cuddled up with him, his whole body relaxed, and his tummy was plenty soft.

I have *a lot* of patience for silly comments people make about parenting stuff, but I admit one thing that does actually irritate me a bit is when people try to interpret a baby's cries for his/her parents. No person can know a baby's unique million-and-one different cries from hearing the baby scream for a minute while getting put in their car seat or from a night of dinner with the baby







. (And it's not like dfs's grandmother's friend had a baby at home either, and was even especially tuned into what different baby cries sounded like...her only son is twenty-one, and she is a designer not a preschool teacher.) Yes, lady, I do know my own kid a tad bit better than you







.

Sorry, I guess that was a bit of a tangent...


----------



## Leilalu

What older women looooooooove to say to me lately is something to this effect-
"you need another pair of arms!!!!" This said when out and about running errands with my two small children-3, and 1 1/2. I actually have most trips down pat.Although they constantly surprise me with new skills and behaviors!!!!









So, these comments are usually made while I have dd in a stroller or cart, ds in a sling, and at a moment I am actually feeling things are easy.
I just want to scream-"NO, I DO NOT need another pair of hands or arms, I am QUITE capable, and for the record, what do you think this sling is for???????????????!!!!!!!!!"
I could think they are lighthearted and well meaning-which some people are. But others, you can just tell they doubt your sling really works or is comfy and probably doubt your actual abilities!


----------



## Stormimay

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Leilalu*
What older women looooooooove to say to me lately is something to this effect-
"you need another pair of arms!!!!" This said when out and about running errands with my two small children-3, and 1 1/2.







































You get that with only two? That's hilarious. I can't wait till after this baby is born (due any day now). I'll be going grocery shopping with one in a sling, one in the cart, and three walking with me. My oldest is 5, no twins. I'm constantly telling people even now that I







my family like this, I'm very blessed, no I'm not brave or crazy, I'm relaxed and happy and know how to have fun!!!









Stormimay


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Stormimay*





































You get that with only two? That's hilarious. I can't wait till after this baby is born (due any day now). I'll be going grocery shopping with one in a sling, one in the cart, and three walking with me. My oldest is 5, no twins. I'm constantly telling people even now that I







my family like this, I'm very blessed, no I'm not brave or crazy, I'm relaxed and happy and know how to have fun!!!









Stormimay

I get "you need another set of arms" a lot and I only have one! Sure, my girl is a handful, and sometimes it seems like a pretty neat idea but I manage pretty well.


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## MommyofPunkiePie

I only have one child, but sometimes I sure do wish I had just *one* more arm!


----------



## emmasmominar

is she sleeping through the night?

If you quit nursing her she would sleep all night.

Dont you think 15 mos is a little long to nurse?

At EVERY family gathering I get asked "your still breastfeeding?"


----------



## wsgrl84

Quote:


Originally Posted by *emmasmominar*

At EVERY family gathering I get asked "your still breastfeeding?"


Hahaha SAME here!! They make it sound like its such a BAD thing.


----------



## cinnamonamon

My MIL is great, don't get me wrong -- but she had a doozy the other day.

We've been talking about potty learning with ds1 for well, months & months. He was interested for a while, but for the last couple months he's been deadset against it. So the topic comes up while she was over Saturday, & she said, "yea, sometimes you just have to do it, ya know." I replied, "well, short of carrying him kicking & screaming to the toilet & holding him on it..." as I'm speaking she's nodding her head "yes." Uh...NO?! I made a comment on the trend in later potty training then changed the subject pdq (pretty darn quick).







WHY would I try to control my child's own bodily functions? Sure it's annoying, but he's having issues for some reason, so I'll wait. I did comment that when he was going on the potty he wasn't having many accidents, & woke up dry every morning -- I'm not going to mess that up because I'm impatient!

The new rule is to not talk about potty training around his mom -- since she's great at not butting in, we should be okay, but







...why why why?


----------



## hellyaellen

i just keep thinking of 'em...

my dad asked me the other day if i was going to keep using cloth or if i was going to switch to disposables. now that i have seen how simple, cheap, and cute cloth is WHY would i switch to ugly expensive disposables? i don't even think they're any easier considering that i always end up in a battle with the sticky tab when i change my nephew.

he also asked if i still liked the expensive (well okay initially yes) kissaluvs. mind you i've raved about these diapers and its the only baby gear i've specifically asked anyone for. i think he just doesn't want to buy me any.


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## Kateana

There were 3 babies born in my family this year, all within 2 weeks of each other, so it's interesting to see the differences between them, and how ppl tell us to handle them. Anyways, during the family gatherings, DD is usually an angel, and if she's fussy at all, I put her in the sling, as it's a familiar place for her, and good for overstimulation. During several gatherings I've heard the too-common "it's good for babies to cry, it exercises their lungs." Yay for DH for using the comeback "like bleeding exercises the veins." The one that bugs me the most, though, is that DH's aunt took DD to hold her for awhile. DD started fussing pretty much right away, as she was tired and we were at a very loud wedding reception. I kindof hovered when she took DD out of the room to a quieter place, b/c I knew I'd need to rescue her soon. After a few minutes of fussing, and DD working herself into a full-blown angry cry, I took her back. To which DH's aunt says, "Oh, she just wants to fuss." WTH? I don't know any baby who WANTS to fuss. And that wasn't fussing, that was screaming her head off, in my book! DH was so annoyed, too. We love, love, love his family, but the things they say are rediculous! This particular aunt is the grandmother of one of the other babies recently born. That baby is always crying at family functions, and not just crying, but SCREAMING! Someone (not mom or dad) is always carrying him around (to their credit, they don't stick him in a room to CIO) saying it's probably gas. Usually, it turns out that he's hungry, so eventually he gets fed. The worst is that I was talking to that babe's dad, who said, "I'm sure if I held him, he'd stop crying." I wanted to scream, "then why don't you?!" I just don't get it!!!!!


----------



## Leilalu

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Stormimay*





































You get that with only two? That's hilarious. I can't wait till after this baby is born (due any day now). I'll be going grocery shopping with one in a sling, one in the cart, and three walking with me. My oldest is 5, no twins. I'm constantly telling people even now that I







my family like this, I'm very blessed, no I'm not brave or crazy, I'm relaxed and happy and know how to have fun!!!









Stormimay

I don't know why!!! I can't imagine the comments when I have more either!









Anyone else find it funnny that people comment on us needing extra arms yet never offer to help?


----------



## JoyofBirth

I think the worst thing was when I was talking to another mom about my birth. She was very impressed that I gave birth without drugs and made the usual comments, the you're brave one, the you must be tough one and a few others. Then she asks me how big my daughter was at birth. She was 7#2oz. She replied,"Oh, see my son was 9#4 oz, so I know I couldn't have done that." Like I didn't work very hard because my baby was a peanut. Whatever! I understand a bigger baby is harder to push out, but it's hard no matter how tiny they are. And I would've chosen drug-free if she was 12 pounds. It's what I believe.


----------



## mollyeilis

"I understand a bigger baby is harder to push out"...FWIW, many of the women on other groups I'm in say that their smaller babies were harder. That the bigger babies give you more to push "on" (sadly I didn't get that experience thanks to idiot midwives, so I can only go by what they say, until future babies teach me what it's like), and tend to just shoot right out. They also say that smaller babies can get into wonky positions more easily, causing longer and/or more difficult labor (like my 7 lb 12 oz babe snuck himself posterior with one or both hands at one cheek, causing a freaky labor that caused the "midwives" to flip out and destroy everything I'd been working for). So...hope that info is good for something.


----------



## boingo82

DS was 9.5 lbs and drug free was FINE for me.

Honestly I think no matter what, you are stretching that cervix like it doesn't want to, and it's going to hurt as long as the baby's over 1 lb.


----------



## ramlita

Quote:


Originally Posted by *boingo82*
Coworker: No, I mean it...I wouldn't know what to do if you went into labor.

Where do people get the idea that pregnant women could just suddenly explode into labor at any moment, and _they're_ going to have to do something heroic???


----------



## indiana ima

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ramlita*
Where do people get the idea that pregnant women could just suddenly explode into labor at any moment, and _they're_ going to have to do something...

television. i would say, it's got to be television.


----------



## boingo82

Quote:


Originally Posted by *indiana ima*
television. i would say, it's got to be television.

Yep.

Woman: _I'm going into LABOR!!! RIGHT NOW!!!!_

Man: _OMG!_

Baby: Is born in taxicab 12 minutes later.

With the first one, there was a good month at the end that every time I called my husband (just to talk) he would (seriously) go, "OMG! Are you having the baby!?!?". It took a while to explain to him that it doesn't usually happen like that.


----------



## Childishgoth

I had a 10lb 2 oz drug free.. so I know its possible


----------



## MelissaEvans

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ramlita*
Where do people get the idea that pregnant women could just suddenly explode into labor at any moment, and _they're_ going to have to do something heroic???









We went to get family/maternity pictures done last night and the lady was deffinately of this impression. "I just wouldn't know what to do!" Well, nothing really. If labor started, then we'd finish the pictures, walk back to the car, go home, and call the midwife. I'd have a baby, you'd just... take pictures I guess. =)


----------



## coobabysmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JoyofBirth*
I think the worst thing was when I was talking to another mom about my birth. She was very impressed that I gave birth without drugs and made the usual comments, the you're brave one, the you must be tough one and a few others. Then she asks me how big my daughter was at birth. She was 7#2oz. She replied,"Oh, see my son was 9#4 oz, so I know I couldn't have done that." Like I didn't work very hard because my baby was a peanut. Whatever! I understand a bigger baby is harder to push out, but it's hard no matter how tiny they are. And I would've chosen drug-free if she was 12 pounds. It's what I believe.

She's right, "she couldn't have done that [unmedicated birth]" but not for the reason she cites...

I had an unmedicated birth with ds who weighed in at 9#9 oz and born with a hand on hs cheek...

PS. I know hard you worked!!!


----------



## newbad

I was told today by an older woman that if I have bad posture, in which my hip is tilted out and my shoulder pushed back, I would know why.... (I was wearing DS2 in a pouch sling).

I just looked at her with a confused look on my face trying to figure out what the heck she was talking about.


----------



## gabysmom617

Some guy in the restaurant: So how old is he?

Me: 6 months

Him: So, is he walking yet?

Me:














:
------no....

Him: Well, all you have to do to teach him to walk his hold him up on his legs and give him the shiny buckle of a belt, and you pull the other end real slow, and he will walk.

Me:







Oh....well right now, we are just working on sitting up...








Since when are 6 month olds (humans, that is) learning how to walk?


----------



## jenP

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gabysmom617*
Him: Well, all you have to do to teach him to walk his hold him up on his legs and give him the shiny buckle of a belt, and you pull the other end real slow, and he will walk.

Me:







Oh....well right now, we are just working on sitting up...








Since when are 6 month olds (humans, that is) learning how to walk?

Yeah, and since when do you need to "teach" a baby how to walk? They figure it out on their own, all you need to do is support them when they want you to.
This is on my mind since for Xmas we got a gift that "encourages" crawling by "rewarding" baby's movement with flashing lights and music.







How dumb to think you need to convince a baby to crawl with some stupid battery operated toy. They WANT to crawl, my kid is dying to crawl and trying to crawl. He can't quite do it yet but he is figuring it out, no thanks to Fisher Price. Like babies would rather sit there powerless and you have to entice them to crawl and walk. :rollyeyes

Jen


----------



## dashbridge

We did EC with dd at 8 months and by 12 months she was out of diapers (completely out by 15 months) and I hear from EVERYBODY "she isn't trained, you are!". I'm SO frustrated by that comment - like they are insulting me for being attuned to my daughter's cues. I understand if it doesn't work for everyone, but why bash someone that it has worked for? And why are we so wanting to "TRAIN" our kids to do this, that and everything else? What ever happened to the benefits of a free-thinking child? I hate society (thank God for MDC!).

Dawn


----------



## pjlioness

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jenP*
This is on my mind since for Xmas we got a gift that "encourages" crawling by "rewarding" baby's movement with flashing lights and music.







How dumb to think you need to convince a baby to crawl with some stupid battery operated toy. They WANT to crawl, my kid is dying to crawl and trying to crawl. He can't quite do it yet but he is figuring it out, no thanks to Fisher Price. Like babies would rather sit there powerless and you have to entice them to crawl and walk.









I think we got the predecessor to that from my in-laws for ds1's 1st birthday. We returned it - too big, too noisy, and completely unnecessary. I've seen the newer models, and they seem at least twice as annoying/big as the first.

Ugh, a generation of kids is learning that they must have tremendous expensive useless electronic fanfare every time they do anything.


----------



## mamalisa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MelissaEvans*
We went to get family/maternity pictures done last night and the lady was deffinately of this impression. "I just wouldn't know what to do!" Well, nothing really. If labor started, then we'd finish the pictures, walk back to the car, go home, and call the midwife. I'd have a baby, you'd just... take pictures I guess. =)


I worked with a lot of high school boys when I was pg with my first. They were so cute, they had to have a "plan" in case my labor started while I was there and none of the "moms" were there. They would always ask what to do, who to call, ect. They really believed that babies just came flying out, tv-style.


----------



## Kateana

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dashbridge*
"she isn't trained, you are!".

See, and I would think that it would be us diapering folk who are trained! Baby cries, we change diaper. (OK, mine doesn't actually cry or fuss about dirty diapers, but I know a lot do.) That's a well-trained parent! Just like how I come running when my baby cries. Jeez, you'd think I was a monkey.


----------



## heathenmom

We joke all the time at our house about being a bunch of trained monkeys. Whatever dd says, we tend to repeat back to her ... it's really silly and fun.


----------



## saratchka

Regarding EC:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dashbridge*
"she isn't trained, you are!"

I mentioned EC to my MIL and got that reaction. (We're not actually doing EC, I just thought it was interesting.) My only thought was - if the kid is using the potty and everyone involved is happy about it, what difference does it make who, if anyone, is trained? I just don't get it.


----------



## jenP

Quote:


Originally Posted by *saratchka*
Regarding EC:

I mentioned EC to my MIL and got that reaction. (We're not actually doing EC, I just thought it was interesting.) My only thought was - if the kid is using the potty and everyone involved is happy about it, what difference does it make who, if anyone, is trained? I just don't get it.









We also got this reaction from MIL when we did just a little part-time EC. After thinking and thinking about it, and the fact that MIL mentioned she had a friend who had "claimed" to potty train her kids at 12 months, I think this is why we get the "who is the one trained" reaction: I think it is because of how so many people see the whole infant years as a race to hit milestones - get that kid on solids, sleeping through the night, walking, talking, potty trained, counting, saying the abc's... - that if you mention DC is using the potty you are seen as BRAGGING that your child is winning the race. So then they have to knock you off the pedestal and let you know you aren't winning because DC isn't actually independently using the potty.
So we need some kind of disclaimer, like "I KNOW DC is not using the potty all by himself and I never said he was and don't expect him to. I'm not trying to win some kind of potty training race. I just want to help him relieve himself and not soil his clothes so he stays clean and comfortable. Nobody is "trained" here, I'm just taking care of my baby's elimination needs just like I take care of his need for food, cuddles, warmth, etc...."
Oh well, it probably wouldn't work anyway. But I think that is why there is that knee-jerk "who is really trained" reaction.

Jen


----------



## minkajane

I loaned "Having a Baby Naturally" to a pregnant woman at work today. The guy sitting next to her leaned over, pointed at the word "naturally" and said "Because they're nuts!" Then at the break (we're in a class), there was a big discussion about how anyone who wouldn't want the drugs is nuts. Another woman in class brags about her three "natural" births, two of which were induced and had Demorol. But to her, no epi = natural.

On a good note, though, the woman with three kids has an intact son! The pregnant one has a circ'd son, but I talked to her about circ and showed her the RIC video. She mentioned being interested in learning about circ, so I'm guessing maybe she's having second thoughts. Wish me luck!

I overheard a woman the other day talking about giving her son cereal at 2 or 3 months, and bragging about how big he is now (hmm...maybe the early solids had something to do with that?).


----------



## sapphire_chan

Why is it apparently okay to wean early and shove that milestone artificially and unsafely forward, but when you mentin ecing it's considered bragging and everyone feels this need to try to dismiss the accomplishment?

We've had a couple posts where people's MILs are saying "he's not trained, you are" about ecing. Could ever picture the MILs saying "he's not actually digesting any of that" to a woman who said she was giving her 2 month old cereal?


----------



## hellyaellen

This one is just funny not mean or dumb...

I was feeding ds tinight and my mom looks over at us and said "I think he's getting bigger." Gee ya think? I said "Well I hope so." It is amazing how you just look at them one day and they're not newborns anymore! (ds is 3mos.)


----------



## weliveintheforest

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan*
Could ever picture the MILs saying "he's not actually digesting any of that" to a woman who said she was giving her 2 month old cereal?









Lol, so true.


----------



## janerose

DH's uncle & his GF got DD his *huge* pink stuffed dog for x-mas. Like 4 ft long huge. Anyway, I was talking with his GF later on that day & she says that they were in the toy store & she was asking the moms what they recommend for gifts (neither knows anything about kids, toys, etc). Well, apparently the moms suggested lots of stuff, including those little cleaning sets. You know, the one with the broom, dust pan, etc.

Well, DH's uncle has to be super PC at all times, so he goes off on this rant about how he's not buying her stuff like that, "training" her to be nothing but a housewife,









So instead he gets her a big pink stuffed dog???

Two things about this really bother me. First, he's assuming that I'd use toys like that with my dd & not a ds. This is not the case at all. I feel very strongly that ALL children need to learn how to cook & clean from a young age. After all, they're all going to grow up & have to live on their own. I wouldn't feel I was being a good parent if I wasn't teaching them how to do that you know?

Second, why is it suddenly not PC to teach your DD what are traditionally considered more womanly tasks? I'm pretty sure the women's movement was to give us all the ability to follow any path. Just because women can do any job now doesn't suddenly mean that learning how to care for a house is suddenly "beneath" her.

Oh, but the best part was that right at the end of this conversation DD came running throught the room with one of those static dusters sweeping the floor like crazy with it! He didn't have much to say about that at least.









Holly


----------



## mamarhu

And what exactly does a 4-foot pink dog "train" her to be?


----------



## Lizzo

We were at a Festival this summer in New York, Gathering of The Vibes, and I was waiting to get a tatoo, so was this other guy.
He started giving me advice and asking me questions about my son, who was about to turn 5 months at the time.
He tol dme I had to HIT him and breastfeeding is LAZY. "What the hell is gentle dscipline?" "Sleeping with you baby is lazy!" "You can't keep em on the boob foever....they'll OWN you!!"







:








Not surprisingly, the tatoo he got was a BIG ANGRY Bald eagel RIPPING through an American flag.
And over X-MAs, we went to visit DP's family. They are...hicks. I hate to say it, but they are ignorant and they have not been very helpfull or kind to us when we really needed it, so I don't hesisitate to calling them what they are.
We had visite them over Thanksgiving and after she(Dp's Grandma) FORCE fed DS and we had LOOOONG talks about breastfeeding and







, SO we are hanging out, and DS wants to eat, so his(DP's) pervert grandfather says "I can hold the bottle!" Yes, he KNOWS we breastfeed.YUCK







:
And then later, we're about to leave (thank goddess!!!!) and we are explaining how we don't eat meat and how DS will not eat meat and his (DP's) grandmother says "Oh, SO he's drinking SKIM milk"
I want DS to have the best realationship possible with ALL of his faimly, but ugh!







:


----------



## gabysmom617

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lizzo*
We were at a Festival this summer in New York, Gathering of The Vibes, and I was waiting to get a tatoo, so was this other guy.
He started giving me advice and asking me questions about my son, who was about to turn 5 months at the time.
He tol dme I had to HIT him and breastfeeding is LAZY. "What the hell is gentle dscipline?" "Sleeping with you baby is lazy!" "You can't keep em on the boob foever....they'll OWN you!!"







:








Not surprisingly, the tatoo he got was a BIG ANGRY Bald eagel RIPPING through an American flag.










Geez. One or 2 things here. 1) He doesn't have any children. Or 2) He had a harsh childhood himself.


----------



## Lizzo

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gabysmom617*
Geez. One or 2 things here. 1) He doesn't have any children. Or 2) He had a harsh childhood himself.

Oh no! He had a 12 yr old daughter!!!!!


----------



## mollyeilis

Gosh, heaven forbid we follow a child's natural urge for order, to clean up after theirselves, to learn household chores that we will ALL have to do at some point (OK I can see that perhaps royalty doesn't need to learn that sort of thing, but I was looking at Eton's website, and even they say that you should keep your bedroom orderly, so that the maid-type-person doesn't dislike you too much LOL). It's such a stage of growing, and it's such a shame to waste or miss it!


----------



## Ellp

We were over at my parent's place yesterday and I was having dinner while my dad was watching over Dd. I was in another room and heard some adults laughing and saying "See? She likes it!"

I rush to the living room and see that Dd has a broken off piece of candy cane in one hand and a still in the wrapper lollypop in the other! I snatch them out of Dd's hand and my dad said that she didn't have any, that she was just holding them. Well, the end of the candy cane was wet! "Oh no, its just because her hand was sweaty..." my dad said.









I read him the riot act about giving Dd sugar and candy. Both my parents know I don't want to give her any of that stuff! Considering how my own 2 front teeth rotted out by the time I was 2 and had to be pulled!

So, my dad sputters and says..."Well, she has to LEARN!"
Me: "Learn WHAT?!"
Dad: "Learn to eat sugar and candy!"
Me: "What FOR?! (I really wanted to curse at this point)
Dad: "So she can learn how to eat candy. What, are going to keep her away from candy?!"

OMG, I didn't know what to say to that. I just took the candy away and left the room.

Even worse, next he walks by the candy dish with Dd in his arms and tempts her with the stuff in it. Naturally she tries to grab the pretty wrappers, and he says "See? She knows already what she wants!"

AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

He is SOOOO NOT WATCHING DD ON HIS OWN EVER AGAIN!


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ellp*

So, my dad sputters and says..."Well, she has to LEARN!"
Me: "Learn WHAT?!"
Dad: "Learn to eat sugar and candy!"
Me: "What FOR?! (I really wanted to curse at this point)
Dad: "So she can learn how to eat candy. What, are going to keep her away from candy?!"

In a word: yes.

My MIL does the same thing, candy, chocolate, soda, ugh!







:


----------



## guestmama9911

Quote:

So, my dad sputters and says..."Well, she has to LEARN!"
Learn to eat Candy?????? WTH!


----------



## boingo82

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alisaterry*
Learn to eat Candy?????? WTH!

<sarcasm>Hey! This is a serious matter! My 18 year old sister is off at college and is subsisting on nothing but top ramen because she never learned to eat candy! This is like learning a language, if you don't learn it before age 2 you are never going to learn! Also she never learned to wear shoes because my parents did not force them at 6 months! Also she is still BF (my mom has to pump) because if you don't wean them by 1 year they never wean ever!!!</sarcasm>


----------



## guestmama9911

laughup







:


----------



## JoyofBirth

I don't get the you are trained comments about EC. A mom sees signs in her infant that s/he needs to potty and takes them to potty. Or... a mom sees signs in her toddler that s/he needs to go potty (peepee dance, grabbing self, saying they need to go, etc) and takes them to the potty. What's the difference?


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *boingo82*
<sarcasm>Hey! This is a serious matter! My 18 year old sister is off at college and is subsisting on nothing but top ramen because she never learned to eat candy! This is like learning a language, if you don't learn it before age 2 you are never going to learn! Also she never learned to wear shoes because my parents did not force them at 6 months! Also she is still BF (my mom has to pump) because if you don't wean them by 1 year they never wean ever!!!</sarcasm>

<resume sarcasm> At least your parents never co-slept and your sister *could* go off to college. </sarcasm>


----------



## allgirls

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JoyofBirth*
I don't get the you are trained comments about EC. A mom sees signs in her infant that s/he needs to potty and takes them to potty. Or... a mom sees signs in her toddler that s/he needs to go potty (peepee dance, grabbing self, saying they need to go, etc) and takes them to the potty. What's the difference?


There is absolutely no difference. I think EC is great. I don't EC but I think it's awesome. I think they are trying to "put you in your place" because they are assuming you are "bragging" and many many people are very competitive where children are concerned.


----------



## lucymay6

right. don't let your child experience the potty before they are 3! Do give them candy at 10 months!


----------



## shellyma

just bumping, because I am only half way through and it is way over on page 5.

Michelle


----------



## MommyofPunkiePie

I was waiting in line at Customer Service at a major chain department store, returning some clothes for DD. One of the two workers behind the counter was commenting on a toddler who was having a *large display of emotion* at the time a little way from the desk. She said, "Children are like puppies, they need to be trained!" I just about fell over!


----------



## Kaitnbugsmom

bumping & subscribing. I lost this awhile back in an update or something


----------



## guestmama9911




----------



## Cardinal

When I was pregnant, a woman told me not to sit "indian style" (cross legged?) because it would crush the baby's head.

My MIL asked me if my DS had eaten cake yet. (at 4 months).


----------



## catnip

My grandmother told me that I would get breast cancer from my nurslings occasional nipple biting.


----------



## jrayn

my mother is going to kill me if I nurse a day past the age of 2.....


----------



## William's Mom

I've posted several replies on this thread already, and this one is not as interesting as the others, but I still wanted to share.

This woman walks by my desk and saw the 2 pictures of William setting on it.

She says, "Oh, how sweet! You have TWINS!!!!!!!!!"

I was confused, and then said, "No, I just have one little boy."

And she said kind of rudely, "But you have 2 pictures, so I thought that *must* mean you have twins."


----------



## ramlita

See, here's your problem. You let her know that she was _wrong_ about something.
People don't like to hear that. You should have let her believe whatever she wanted!


----------



## William's Mom

True.


----------



## mama_b

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jrayn*
my mother is going to kill me if I nurse a day past the age of 2.....

Same thing goes for my family. Only for them it will be if I nurse past the age of 1.


----------



## kater07

I was at the farmer's market yesterday with DD in the sling and a man selling nuts and trail mixes etc. asked me if I was "still feeding her". I wanted to crack up and say that no, I'd stopped feeding her 6 months ago and am now waiting for her to ask for food again, but I KNEW by his tone and his gestures that he meant was I still nursing her, and it made me smile very big as say "of course I am!"

It was neat to have him assume she was breastfed, which, of course, she is.


----------



## MarcyC

My first daughter was severely jaundiced and my labor & delivery had been difficult. I had formula-fed my son, and wasn't as educated as I should have been about breastfeeding. The nurse offered to take my daughter to the nursery for 6 hours overnight so I could rest. I remembered reading something about nipple confusion (or preference) and I asked the nurse about it. I was feeling good because this is the only local hospital with a milk bank and all the LLL people say they have the BEST lactation consultants and nursing staff. So the nurse says to me, "don't worry, a baby 2 days old CAN'T get nipple confusion." That was the start of a very short nursing relationship. She got that first bottle(s) and never wanted me again!


----------



## MarcyC

I had to reply again because I just remember something MIL asked the other day. The baby is almost 1.

MIL: "When are you going to wean?"

Me: "It depends on whether I homeschool or send her to public school."

MIL changed subject....


----------



## Kaitnbugsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MarcyC*
I had to reply again because I just remember something MIL asked the other day. The baby is almost 1.

MIL: "When are you going to wean?"

Me: "It depends on whether I homeschool or send her to public school."

MIL changed subject....

lol :rofl


----------



## guestmama9911

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MarcyC*
My first daughter was severely jaundiced and my labor & delivery had been difficult. I had formula-fed my son, and wasn't as educated as I should have been about breastfeeding. The nurse offered to take my daughter to the nursery for 6 hours overnight so I could rest. I remembered reading something about nipple confusion (or preference) and I asked the nurse about it. I was feeling good because this is the only local hospital with a milk bank and all the LLL people say they have the BEST lactation consultants and nursing staff. So the nurse says to me, "don't worry, a baby 2 days old CAN'T get nipple confusion." That was the start of a very short nursing relationship. She got that first bottle(s) and never wanted me again!









I'm sorry this happened to you. I think the world would be such a wonderful place if people would pick up a frickin' nonfiction book every once in a while.


----------



## mama_b

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alisaterry*
I'm sorry this happened to you. I think the world would be such a wonderful place if people would pick up a frickin' nonfiction book every once in a while.


----------



## guestmama9911

Sorry, let me elaborate. If this nurse actually kept up with her field and read current literature about breastfeeding and new born care, she wouldn't be passing on this ignorant information and interfering with baby/mom breastfeeding relationships. Between the internet, public libraries, and Continuing Education programs, there's no excuse for the misguided advice that comes out of some professionals' mouths.


----------



## Persephone

In the hospital, I was birthing my placenta, and asked them not to pull on my cord. Well, it came out of my uterus, but not all the way, since I was on my back. The nurst just stood there, until another nurse asked her why she didn't get it out. She said, "Well, she asked us not to pull the cord..." The other nurse makde it clear it was ok. I never figured out if she was being smart, or just had no clue.

And the other thing I was told was, "It's ok for them to cry a little bit" Uh yeah, you're not watching my baby til she can talk!


----------



## mama_b

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alisaterry*
Sorry, let me elaborate. If this nurse actually kept up with her field and read current literature about breastfeeding and new born care, she wouldn't be passing on this ignorant information and interfering with baby/mom breastfeeding relationships. Between the internet, public libraries, and Continuing Education programs, there's no excuse for the misguided advice that comes out of some professionals' mouths.

Okay.







I didn't know if you were blaming the poster or the nurse.


----------



## ani'smommy

Okay, I have read this ENTIRE thread. Wowza. Here's mine:

ME: Ani isn't feeling well, I wonder if she has a sore throat or something.
SIL: Aw, poor girl, maybe you could warm up some of your milk for her to help her throat.
ME: Uh, I'm pretty sure it's warm already









She means well


----------



## guestmama9911

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mama_b*
Okay.







I didn't know if you were blaming the poster or the nurse.

I blame the establishment! Fight the power!







:


----------



## lasciate

My mother told me Audrey needed a bottle so that she would learn to hold her sippy cup (??). Audrey was all of 9 months old, and she started holding her sippy cup one week after that bizarre statement.

Now I babysit a 14-month-old who was bottlefed, but still doesn't hold his sippy up himself. He will bring it to you so you can hold it though


----------



## sydsmama

my goodness people say some crazy things! The dumbest thing I've ever been told was by a cocky er doc. My 18 month old dd was scarey sick (with fifth disease we later found out) so to the er we went. After duking it out with the intake nurse over not vaxing we got stupid comment #1: "you know, the mmr could have prevented this- fifth disease is related to measles" Okayyy????

And then we get through an exam with the er doc and as he's walking out he turns and tells me: "And you should not breastfeed her for several weeks because dairy isn't good for kids when they're sick. She's a little old to be nursing anyway, this may be the perfect time to just wean her. Try some pedialyte instead." DAIRY??!! Since when is human breastmilk considered dairy?! I was furious and so was my pediatrician when I told her. We both reported him. Interestingly enough, though it was a scarey illness, the pedi just had me go home and nurse her, nurse her, nurse her!


----------



## Kaitnbugsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sydsmama*
Interestingly enough, though it was a scarey illness, the pedi just had me go home and nurse her, nurse her, nurse her!























Tee hee


----------



## Beeblebrox

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pjlioness*
I think we got the predecessor to that from my in-laws for ds1's 1st birthday. We returned it - too big, too noisy, and completely unnecessary. I've seen the newer models, and they seem at least twice as annoying/big as the first.

Ugh, a generation of kids is learning that they must have tremendous expensive useless electronic fanfare every time they do anything.

We got the exact same thing for Christmas for our then 3 month old. Never made it out of the box. We donated it. Just no use for it IMO.


----------



## greenmansions

My mom told me today to be careful how much I nurse DD because "you don't want her to be one of those fat babies." What?

Argh. It's just sooo not a concern of mine!


----------



## Rico'sAlice

I just had to post b/c I can't believe I read this whole thing! Thank you, it was very eye opeing and I definitely am writing some of the witty comebacks down in my diary for when I have children.

Anyway, as I still a few years away from TTC, but am totally obsessed w/ pregnancy/birthy/baby research. So I was asking this woman I work with about breastfeeding rates/customs in her country. (Ireland- according to her it is not really done)
Then she starts talking about her SIL, who expected to breastfeed b/c she was from another country (I don't remember which, I'm thinking Latvia) and that's what they did. And then saying she had loads of trouble with it, and her family was just waiting for her to give it up.
Anyway, then she says the reason the SIL had to stop was because it was a Boy and boy's require too much food to just breastfeed. Oh...so before formula all the boys just starved?
I'm sure being surrounded by totally unsupportive family members wasn't a factor at all.


----------



## mythreesuns

That I would be sorry if I didn't put them on a "schedule", and that I was going to "spoil them" by letting them sleep in my bed.
Tell me again how you spoil an infant, and why WOULDN'T you want to spoil a babe?
Also the inevitable question of "When do you plan on weaning?" that start around 6mo.







:

ETA: People always trying to tell me the baby "needed to eat solids" starting around 4mo. This one used to drive me completely bonkers.


----------



## guestmama9911

Hurray for DH! He has a co-worker whose roommate s apparently very Ezzo-ish with her children. So, the other day he was telling his teammates about how tired he was because DS had a hard night. DS is usually a great sleeper, waking up only about 2 times to latch onto my breast and go back to sleep. This night, however, he woke up around 2:00 am and fussed for two hours. His co-worker very brazenly said "It sounds like you need to get that baby on a schedule," to which DH responded "That is the worst possible thing that you can do to a child." He then put his ear phones on and turned his back on her (he's not very fond of her anyway). Yay! Go team!


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Rico'sAlice*
Anyway, then she says the reason the SIL had to stop was because it was a Boy and boy's require too much food to just breastfeed. Oh...so before formula all the boys just starved?

Don't be silly, before formula was invented everyone was a woman and just like some species of lizards males were not needed for reproduction. See, we know from the 'wise' words of other posters' families that "breastfeeding makes people gay". Since the human race didn't die off, there must have been a way to reproduce with only one gender. Obviously, that gender couldn't have been male because they don't have uteri (uteruses?) nor pouches like seahorses. The only possible conclusion is that formula created the Y chromosome.


----------



## nikisager

Quote:


Originally Posted by *charmarty*
Just quickly lurking tonight but wanted to tell you all this is the #1 comment I get from ppl.

Them:"You nurse BOTH your twins?WOW!"
Me:"No,just the favorite one"










I thought your comeback was so funny!!! I would love to see someones face when they realize how dumb there question was after you tell them that!!!


----------



## mama_b

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan*
Don't be silly, before formula was invented everyone was a woman and just like some species of lizards males were not needed for reproduction. See, we know from the 'wise' words of other posters' families that "breastfeeding makes people gay". Since the human race didn't die off, there must have been a way to reproduce with only one gender. Obviously, that gender couldn't have been male because they don't have uteri (uteruses?) nor pouches like seahorses. The only possible conclusion is that formula created the Y chromosome.


----------



## sarathan

We recently visitied my in-laws for dinner, which we do quite often. My 1-year was sick at the time...he had been running a fever and had thrown up that morning. My MIL suggested I try feeding him jello salad since "that's what they do in hospitals." Ummmm....okay. Heck, I won't even feed him that stuff when he's healthy!!


----------



## roseselene

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan*
Don't be silly, before formula was invented everyone was a woman and just like some species of lizards males were not needed for reproduction. See, we know from the 'wise' words of other posters' families that "breastfeeding makes people gay". Since the human race didn't die off, there must have been a way to reproduce with only one gender. Obviously, that gender couldn't have been male because they don't have uteri (uteruses?) nor pouches like seahorses. The only possible conclusion is that formula created the Y chromosome.

















:







:







:


----------



## cinnamonamon

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sarathan*
We recently visitied my in-laws for dinner, which we do quite often. My 1-year was sick at the time...he had been running a fever and had thrown up that morning. My MIL suggested I try feeding him jello salad since "that's what they do in hospitals." Ummmm....okay. Heck, I won't even feed him that stuff when he's healthy!!

My MIL tried to convince me to put some on my ds's dinner plate with his regular food (read: not dessert)...she said we'd have dessert later & this was good for him -- it had fruit in it...

Now granted I haven't researched it much, but I'm not sure I'd call "canned in heavy syrup" fruit cocktail nutritous, exactly.


----------



## Greenie

My Dad was telling me how he and my step mom talked about DS's Seperation Anxiety..

"Well, you might just have to let him cry himself to sleep.







: I mean, go in and check on him if he doesn't stop within 15 or 20 minutes.."

So, I said:

"Uh, Dad, I'm not going to let him Cry It Out. There's no need. He goes to sleep on his own, he just wants his mama.. I mean, I'm his food source, and I'm with him all the time. He sleeps with me, and I'm always there. Of course he's not going to like it when his primary caregiver is not there."

"But it's just that I let you do that because I couldn't get you to sleep when you were little. The first night, I had to change the sheets twice because you cried so much that you threw up two times..







Each night you would cry a little less. Within about a week you would just fall asleep on your own, though. So, it worked pretty well!"










I just can't believe that they would let me do that. My response:

"Dad, I don't think I could ever do that. I just love him too much."


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Greenie*
"But it's just that I let you do that because I couldn't get you to sleep when you were little. The first night, I had to change the sheets twice because you cried so much that you threw up two times..







Each night you would cry a little less. Within about a week you would just fall asleep on your own, though. So, it worked pretty well!"










I just can't believe that they would let me do that. My response:

"Dad, I don't think I could ever do that. I just love him too much."

"But thanks for the warning to *never* ever leave him alone in your care."


----------



## RadiantMama

"Dad, I don't think I could ever do that. I just love him too much."

oh...wow!

Do you think your dad didn't love you?

He was doing his best...that's what I tell my parents when they are sorry they didn't do something the best way, the way they realize now....

Was he really saying it in a tone of voice that made it seem like he thought his way was the right way? That would be unnerving for me...a little confrontational.

I think most of our parents really just want validation that what they did when we were little was "the best they could do" because they DID love us! I mean, how can a parent NOT LOVE THEIR CHILD? (woah--ot sorry!)

Anyway, again, most people (read "our parents") are insecure, and just want love...so i say GIVE IT!

Even if you know they are wrong, loving them is more healing most times than arguing...

Sorry if this is rambling, I haven't had breakfast!


----------



## ramlita

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sarathan*
My MIL suggested I try feeding him jello salad since "that's what they do in hospitals."

Yeah, hospitals are known for serving healing, nutritious, appropriate, delicious foods!


----------



## suprgrl

My mom asked how often ds nursed each day. I said I wasn't sure. (She thinks he is too big: 17 pounds at 4 months) She then told me that by 3 months he should only need to bf 3-4 times a day!! Sometimes he does that before 9 am!! Ugh. How sad. No wonder my mom's milk dried up so fast with my brother (I was ff). My poor little brother. I bet he was so hungry all the time....my mom said she just thought it was colic


----------



## guestmama9911

This may just be me being a b$#@! here, but if I leave my baby to cry and they get so distressed that they throw up twice, I am not doing the right thing. Even the psychos who think the Bible gives them permission to literally use a stick or pipe to "correct" their infants believe they are really doing the right thing. It's true that they love their children, but that kind of parenting is really inexcusable. If I found out my parents left me alone even after I vomited, which I could have choked on and died from, I would not say "that's OK, you were doing what you thought was best." I am not going to alleviate someone's guilt if they did something awful, even out of love, especially if they are trying to get me to do the same thing with my child. I would let them know that I consider that kind of parenting to be ineffective and potentially dangerous and do not intend to use it with my child.

RadiantMama, this isn't an atack on you, by the way. Just a passive agressive vent against my own parents


----------



## Greenie

I know that my dad loves me. It's not that at all. I just can't stand to hear DS cry, abd I do all I can to make it better. I never ever leave him to cry. I just think it's not right for us!


----------



## Birth Junky

"There is absolutely no nutritional benefit to breastfeeding past 12 months."

And this from a NURSE!


----------



## DaisyQDuck

A public health nurse came to our new Moms group. One of her many pearls of wisdom was:

- we should all be giving our babies (4 mo and younger) a bottle of tap water every day so that they would get their flouride requirements

Daisy


----------



## MelissaEvans

I attended my friend's hospital birth. She got to the hospital about 6:15, baby was born at 6:26.

"Does she need an IV?" "Yes!" Why? For crying out loud, she was pushing!
"Don't push!" Yeah, right
Five minutes after the baby was born: "Do you want him circ'd?" Granted, they weren't offering to do it then and there, but still!!! (He was :cry)
Mom took some homeopathic Arnica afterwards, they found the bottle and took it without telling her - problem 1. They didn't know what it was, so they did some "research." Except, they looked up Arnica the plant, not Arnica the homeopathic remedy. So they told her it was bad for nursing, caused liver damage, and all sorts of other horrible things - problem 2. Then they offered her Darvocet - problem 3.

I was so glad I was planning (and had!) a homebirth!


----------



## MommyofPunkiePie

Gosh, this one really has thrown me for a loop!
I am having lazy latch problems with DD for the last week or so, resulting in scabs on both areolas, and one of them keeps re-opening whenever she nurses on that side. I have been teaching her "Open wide" to kind of circumvent the sore areas.
Well last night I was on the phone with my best friend (Mother, formula feeder for selfish reasons), and I was telling DD to open wide because it really hurt the way she was nursing. My friend called me a perv!







I got very angry (PMS related), but only said that I am most definitely NOT a perv and that I am doing the absolute best for my DD. I then graciously got off the phone and probably won't be able to speak to her for a little while.


----------



## rmzbm

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyofPunkiePie*
My friend called me a perv!







I got very angry (PMS related), but only said that I am most definitely NOT a perv and that I am doing the absolute best for my DD. I then graciously got off the phone and probably won't be able to speak to her for a little while.

Well, this wasn't said to me & I certainly am not PMSing & it's making me furious!! I wouldn't be speaking to her...ever. Friend?? Hardly.


----------



## roseselene

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyofPunkiePie*
Well last night I was on the phone with my best friend (Mother, formula feeder for selfish reasons), and I was telling DD to open wide because it really hurt the way she was nursing. My friend called me a perv!







I got very angry (PMS related), but only said that I am most definitely NOT a perv and that I am doing the absolute best for my DD. I then graciously got off the phone and probably won't be able to speak to her for a little while.

That has got to be one of the worst ones I have ever heard!!!
Sorry she said that to you.
Amy


----------



## Amaryllis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DaisyQDuck*
A public health nurse came to our new Moms group. One of her many pearls of wisdom was:

- we should all be giving our babies (4 mo and younger) a bottle of tap water every day so that they would get their flouride requirements

Daisy

Unfortunately, I've heard this too! People really believe it.


----------



## roseselene

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Amaryllis*
Unfortunately, I've heard this too! People really believe it.









It doesn't even make sense -- even for those who use flouride to even worry about it...they don't even have teeth at that age so what is the point?
Amy


----------



## indiana ima

Quote:


Originally Posted by *roseselene*
It doesn't even make sense -- even for those who use flouride to even worry about it...they don't even have teeth at that age so what is the point?

actually, yes they are. we are born with our teeth already in our gums, waiting to emerge.


----------



## Greenie

:














That's exactly what I was thinking!


----------



## roseselene

Quote:


Originally Posted by *indiana ima*
actually, yes they are. we are born with our teeth already in our gums, waiting to emerge.

Right, but what I meant by that is that they don't have teeth exposed. Isn't the point of flouride (ok, one of the points of flouride) to actually strengthen the teeth and in order for this to happen the flouride has to be exposed to the tooth. Such as flouride rinse treatments that you get at the dentist and stuff. From what I have read, injesting flouride provides little help to tooth health...its the topical flouride that helps. So, why would a child, whose teeth haven't erupted need flouride. That's what I meant. Yes, I know they have teeth in their mouths...but come on, you knew what I meant didn't you?
Amy


----------



## ramlita

That's how I understand it, roseselene!
Flouride is actually bad for our bones- and everything else. But that's another thread altogether...


----------



## Kaitnbugsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ramlita*
That's how I understand it, roseselene!
Flouride is actually bad for our bones- and everything else. But that's another thread altogether...









really?


----------



## mollyeilis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kaitnbugsmom*
really?

Really. Just recently it's been in the news again.

Just as an example:

"In late March, a National Academy of Sciences panel concluded that the maximum amount allowed by the federal government -- 4 milligrams per liter of water -- puts children at risk for developing mottled, pitted teeth and can weaken bones over a lifetime, making fractures more likely."

"And a journal article scheduled to be published this weekend is expected to link fluoride to a rare bone cancer in boys."

Here's an opinion of a brave dentist in my area.

If you google "fluoride" you'll find all sorts of stuff. Except when it naturally occurs, it's (the fluoride added to water and toothpaste, according to my mom who was nearly an anti-fluoride activist, is industry byproduct) rotten, rotten stuff.


----------



## BelgianSheepDog

The flouride craze was sort of at its height when I was little, my doctor even had me taking chewable flouride tablets every night. (Ick.) Then when I was about seven a couple of my teeth started turning brown...ugh. My baby molars all fell out in dozens of shattered pieces. I have a grudge against flouride.


----------



## peaceful_mama

Oh Marcy..same thing happened to DS, except they LED ME TO BELIEVE his jaundice was SEVERE...I later found out that while he did *have* jaundice, it was NOT severe. They had NO business telling me my child was at imminent risk of mental retardation or blindness or death. He wasn't even near CONSIDERING the use of bililights or a blanket or anything like that!! OH THE IGNORANCE!!!

Because of the "educated" staff at that hospital, I breastfed my son ONCE. I followed their protocol. One of their LC's and one of their nurses each told me there was NO WAY my son would develop a preference for a bottle over snuggling close and formula tastes nasty compared to my milk...well, they also told me to pump and bottle. By day 3, he screamed every time he saw me pull up my shirt.









My son is nearly 18 months old, and I'm STILL pissed. Even more so every time I have found out something else--like that I *could* have been taught to cupfeed him if supplementing was *that* important, which I don't think it was. I guess it's because I would still be breastfeeding if it had gone the way it should have. And because I watched him go through dairy intolerance *ell that I believe he would not have had if he'd been solely breastfed like i'd planned.
The sad part is, you can't find the answers if you don't even know the questions to ask. I honestly didn't know, I thought if I offered it the minute he was born, he'd take it and the rest would be history. I didn't factor in the effects of an unnecessary induction and Stadol to counteract the pitocin pain...








This is why I've switched hospitals and I'm having a midwife, not an OB. I'd do it at home if I didn't have to be unassisted...


----------



## MarcyC

I switched ob/gyn's AND hospitals. I will say that although this nursing relationship has had it's own struggles and challenges, it's been 1000 times better than with my older daughter.


----------



## greenmansions

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zakers_mama*
Oh Marcy..same thing happened to DS, except they LED ME TO BELIEVE his jaundice was SEVERE...I later found out that while he did *have* jaundice, it was NOT severe. They had NO business telling me my child was at imminent risk of mental retardation or blindness or death. He wasn't even near CONSIDERING the use of bililights or a blanket or anything like that!! OH THE IGNORANCE!!!

Because of the "educated" staff at that hospital, I breastfed my son ONCE. I followed their protocol. One of their LC's and one of their nurses each told me there was NO WAY my son would develop a preference for a bottle over snuggling close and formula tastes nasty compared to my milk...well, they also told me to pump and bottle. By day 3, he screamed every time he saw me pull up my shirt.









My son is nearly 18 months old, and I'm STILL pissed. Even more so every time I have found out something else--like that I *could* have been taught to cupfeed him if supplementing was *that* important, which I don't think it was. I guess it's because I would still be breastfeeding if it had gone the way it should have. And because I watched him go through dairy intolerance *ell that I believe he would not have had if he'd been solely breastfed like i'd planned.
The sad part is, you can't find the answers if you don't even know the questions to ask. I honestly didn't know, I thought if I offered it the minute he was born, he'd take it and the rest would be history. I didn't factor in the effects of an unnecessary induction and Stadol to counteract the pitocin pain...








This is why I've switched hospitals and I'm having a midwife, not an OB. I'd do it at home if I didn't have to be unassisted...


Boy, I could have written this post... This was a big contributor to the pumping/bottle nursing I did for DS. We got the exact same lines about jaundice, and BM tasting better than formula, etc etc. Still makes me mad.


----------



## guestmama9911

I also had the jaundice run around after my emergency transfer to the hospital for a csec. I was there for 5 days and poor DS spent that time under bililights in another room. They would only bring him to me to nurse every 3 hours and gave him formula in a tube inbetween. This made me angry so I asked for a pump and pumped colostrum that I put into syringes for them. Then, when they brought him to me to nurse, they told me it should take abou 45 minutes and that I should call them when he was done, but I never would, and sometimes they'd forget about us so I'd have him for two hours.

It wasn't until later that I learned that his bilirubin levels were no where near a dangerous level.


----------



## indiana ima

Quote:


Originally Posted by *roseselene*
Right, but what I meant by that is that they don't have teeth exposed. Isn't the point of flouride (ok, one of the points of flouride) to actually strengthen the teeth and in order for this to happen the flouride has to be exposed to the tooth. Such as flouride rinse treatments that you get at the dentist and stuff. From what I have read, injesting flouride provides little help to tooth health...its the topical flouride that helps. So, why would a child, whose teeth haven't erupted need flouride. That's what I meant. Yes, I know they have teeth in their mouths...but come on, you knew what I meant didn't you?
Amy

well no, actually, i didn't know what you meant.
and about the flouride, i hadn't heard any of that before. i'll go look it up.


----------



## janerose

This did not happen to me personally, but a family friend recently had a baby & was trying to nurse him while in the hospital. She was (and is) having trouble with his latch & when she asked the nurse for advice she was told, "Just put it in his mouth." The nurse then turned around and walked away!







:






























My step-sister happened to be sitting there when it happened which is who I heard about it from. Not suprisingly this is the hospital where I was born, and at which my Mom told me that less than a couple hours after she'd had me she was sitting in her room, smoking a cig, drinking a large soda, reading a magazine while I was down the hall in the nursery being FF.







To make matters worse she had them give her a shot of something to knock her out & slept like 12 hours straight while I stayed in the nursery all night! Keep in mind my Mom is a nurse too....*sigh*

I don't think I'll ever be able to express to my Mom how disgusted I am that she approved of them doing those things, had a medicated birth, ff me, etc. Honestly, she's a great Mom & loves us to death, but I still have to wonder when I hear stuff like that....

What really kills me is that she did all that but still questions if I want my step-sister (or pretty much anyone besides DH or the grandparents) to watch DD for a couple hours.









Sorry, got off on a little rant there.









Holly


----------



## janerose

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BelgianSheepDog*
The flouride craze was sort of at its height when I was little, my doctor even had me taking chewable flouride tablets every night. (Ick.) Then when I was about seven a couple of my teeth started turning brown...ugh. My baby molars all fell out in dozens of shattered pieces. I have a grudge against flouride.

Stuff like this is why DD doesn't get any flouride. Not in her toothpaste, not in our water (we have a well now), not at all. In fact, when we lived in town & I had to supplement with formula I bought bottled water just so I could make her forumula up with flouride free water!

Also, I *did* get all those supplements & frankly my teeth aren't that great. Never have been. Nothing as bad as BelgianSheepDog but I do have white discolored spots on my top incisors & pretty much every molar in my mouth has a filling. Of course the fillings are all the metal/mercury ones....

Don't even get me going on how much it's going to cost us to replace those over the next few years!

Holly


----------



## mcjessica

I've been reading this thread for ages and am on page 127, but wanted to post my comments before I forget them.

My MIL is *wonderful* and I actually have never had any reason to complain about her before. She's never even said anything to offend me, which is amazing, until last night. We were visiting at my in-laws' house and I had just nursed my son. He got really fussy and ended up spitting up a bit (which he often does at night because I think he overeats a little for comfort). She took him and was comforting him, which was fine, but then started saying, "Did Mama give you sour milk? Was Mama's milk sour?" Um... thanks? It's really weird, because she's totally pro-BFing and breastfed both her kids exclusively and until age 2, but why would she say such a thing about my milk? :







s fist:: It wasn't a huge deal, but I wasn't really excited about it.

About the "crying is good for their lungs" thing. I have to LOL at this because until I read this thread, (hangs head) I sort of believed this. I guess it's one of those things I've heard SO OFTEN and from so many people, that I had just started to assume it must be true. I'll have to tell my husband we've both been spewing nonsense. (Incidentally, we NEVER let our DS cry and he generally has only cried for a few minutes at a time ever, which is amazing to us)

Thought I had one more but can't remember now. One thing we get a LOT is comments about DS's size. He's almost 3 months old and already over 17#. He was over 10# at birth and has consistently remained in the 95-99th percentile. He's just a chunk of a guy. This leads to lots of comments about my diet (I'm a fluffy, though healthy, gal myself), whether he really needs to eat so often (we nurse on demand and sometimes very frequently still), and many people assume he's at least 6 months old. My only problem with his size is that I wish my poor back had had more time to adjust to carrying such a chunk around -- thank goodness I discovered babywearing!!

One thing I'm a little worried about is that our pediatrician is supposed to be this bigtime doctor (voted best Dr. in Rockford several years in a row, chairman of pediatrics at Univ. of Illinois, and many other distinguishing titles) but for instance recommended the TriViSol, recommended supplementing with formula when DS was a few days old and jaundiced, and though he generally supports BFing he doesn't seem to be the MOST BF-friendly doctor around. I don't think it's a big enough issue to change docs since we love many other things about him, but it's just frustrating that such an educated doctor would not be better informed about breastfeeding. My older brother is also a pediatrician and I can say he is VERY well educated, an excellent doctor, and brilliant! But he also recommended formula when we were dealing with jaundice and the sleepy babe, and said it just wasn't that big of a deal to supplement a little. He also recommends against co-sleeping and says that we can let DS cry for "5 or 10 minutes" even when he was just a few weeks old! OMG! DS hasn't ever cried for 5 minutes straight even now, and I hope he never has to!

Hoping I will remember my other thing here momentarily. Great thread, Mamas!


----------



## sapphire_chan

According to my mother, until she stopped listening to the idiots who told her to set her baby down, I did a lot of crying. As in, I'd start to cry, she'd pick me up, I'd be fine, so she'd try laying me down again like the idiots said, I'd start to cry, she'd pick me up.... (rather exhausting, don't you think?) anyway, so I had plenty of time to "develop my lungs" and my cardiovascular fitness, at age 25, is in the 90th percentile for 70 year olds. (I am working on it, and I am getting better, since reading this thread, I'm sure to cry piteously for at least 10 minutes a day, it breaks my heart to hear me, but all those people can't be wrong, so I'm considering getting ear plugs so I can let me cry for hours without being tempted to comfort myself....)

Lazing on the couch during the teen years does far worse things to your lungs than not crying when you're a baby.


----------



## Sharlla

MY MIL told me I need to stop nursing my 10 month old because she thinks that his animal protein intollerance will go away after I stop nursing him and start giving him meat and dairy.

She also told me that she would rather feed a baby formula than to feed it someone else's breastmilk (when I said that if my SIL was having issues I would rather pump milk for her than to see her baby go on forumla)

Ugg she can be so annoying sometime


----------



## CryPixie83

From my SIL when dd was a baby
"When are we gonna get to take the baby overnight?"
Me: "When she weans"
SIL: "We can give her a bottle of formula"
Me:"My baby gets breastmilk only, nothing else is good enough."
SIL: "My kids were formula fed and they're just fine"

Um...yea her ff kids have never been the picture of health... her dd who is now 13 has been sick at least once a monththe entire time I've known her...which is almost 4 years now. Real healthy....


----------



## Ellp

I was in Toys RUs today looking for some wooden toys. I had seen some a few months ago but wasn't interested at the time.

So I ask the saleslady if they had any wooden food.
Her: "Nope, we don't have any wooden food". (Thinks for a while then adds) "It would be so unhygenic!"

Me: "Oh okaaay..." (What the heck do you think chopsticks are made from??! Unhygenic? Have you seen what toddlers put in their mouths??!" What, do you bleach everything?)

I wish I had the guts to say what I was thinking. But I was kind... it was busy today and I didn't want to give her any more grief..


----------



## paxye

Wow... I have been working on this thread for a few days now! I have to admit I have skipped over a few pages though









Anyways... here are a few of mine:

Ex-Landlady to me when ds was 11 mos old:
"You're not telling me that he is STILL breastfeeding are you?"
"yes, of course... he is not even a year yet"
"Well you have to stop..."
"umm... no... why, besides even Health Canada recommends two years?"
"Well... I have never met anyone that breastfed past 6 months... that is the maximum"
"OMG... so sad...are the babies OK?"

Then in the same conversation... she told me that ds was making too much noise in the daytime because he was walking and making cars roll on the floors and that it was disturbing her and her son because they go to sleep very late and like sleeping in until about 2pm and told me that she was "conciderate" of her neighbors when her ds was young and kept him in a walker until he was well over two and then taught him how to stay still and play quietly... (her 25 yo son who still lives at home and is about 350 pounds)

I said "sure







" and went in the house... What a







!!!

----------

My Grandmother:
"No woman in our family has ever been able to breastfeed"
_So what were YOU fed as a baby?_
"I was lucky during labour... they put me to sleep and I woke up with a baby... and then the baby would go to the nanny for a month and come back sleeping through the night and I could give them their first solids!"
........to this I had no response....








"You can't be pregnant, you are still breastfeeding!!, It is impossible!"
_Yes grandma... I must be imagining the baby moving and I am just getting fat for no reason..._

Ds#2 was sick and hospitalised a few months ago I left the hospital before they wanted us to and went back for a followup with a doctor that I never met... (I had to go to the hospital doctor)

She was the worst and tried to give me TONS of misinformation..
said I shouldn't be nursing DS anymore, that he should be drinking more juice, gave me grief over vax, told me that I shouldn't be wearing him because it will deform his hips and he wouldn't be able to walk (he was 16 months at the time and he had been walking since 9 months) and then asked me about his
sleeping habits..
She told me that I was putting his life in danger by co-sleeping and when I asked her about other cultures that co-sleep by norm she said that people in other cultures are not made the same way as us and that our brains are more advanced







and then when I asked her about the negative effects of CIO she said that she wasn't a pshycologist but a doctor so she didn't have to deal with it anyways!!








When I refused further testing on DS (I wanted to come back when his system was more back to normal) she said that I was putting him life in danger....
I left there crying and so angry!








I talked to my family doc a bit later in the day and he said that there wasn't a problem in waiting... especially is ds was looking good (which he was!) and even then it may not be needed....

Anyways... I have more... but I need to attend to the kiddos!


----------



## Shenjall

heres a great one from this morning from my mother....

That my 3yr old dd has a stomach flu b/c she's still breastfeeding. Riiiight. Not because we visited someone who "forgot" to disclose their kids had it, but b/c she's breastfeeding. Of course, that must be it! And here I was thinking how good it was she was still nursing and that it kept her from becoming dehydrated when she was vomitting every 30 min and changing her diaper just as often. Man, what was I thinking?


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *paxye*
My Grandmother:
"No woman in our family has ever been able to breastfeed"
_So what were YOU fed as a baby?_
"I was lucky during labour... they put me to sleep and I woke up with a baby... and then the baby would go to the nanny for a month and come back sleeping through the night and I could give them their first solids!"
........to this I had no response....








"You can't be pregnant, you are still breastfeeding!!, It is impossible!"
_Yes grandma... I must be imagining the baby moving and I am just getting fat for no reason..._

I wonder if the drugs for twilight sleep did something to her brain? Not because she remembers things that way (although it does seem somewhat off) but because she's soooo happy about it.


----------



## spiritmomma

While Isa was in the MobyWrap, smiling and quietly cooing at this perfect stranger, this woman says, "OMG! I think she is choking in that thing! It's too tight!!!"

I thought to myself, did you even look at her face? She's _smiling_ ! Hello?!?!?

Also, just today, this woman says to me, (I'm wearing her again, as usual) "Wow! What a porker!"
I am, of course, SUPER proud of my chubby baby, so I proudly say to this _rude_ woman, "Yes, I made it with my boobs!"


----------



## Amaryllis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *spiritmomma*
I am, of course, SUPER proud of my chubby baby, so I proudly say to this _rude_ woman, "Yes, I made it with my boobs!"









HEY! That was MY line!! Aww, well, you can have it








It's a good one! And I can't tell you how many comments I got like that (the porker one)...

Also, this is sort of weird, but my girl was a big round butterball who basically had nothing but the boob until she was about 11 months, and sometimes I would get comments like "Wow, she's so fat. So, you couldn't breastfeed?"

And also, people would tell me to feed her low-fat stuff, and put her on a diet.

Like, sorry, my boobs don't come in 2%!!!


----------



## artgoddess

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Amaryllis*
And also, people would tell me to feed her low-fat stuff, and put her on a diet.

Like, sorry, my boobs don't come in 2%!!!

Isn't this sad. My mom did not BF by choice and I was a big ole rolly-polly babe. The pediatrician told her to only give me low-fat milk, so I would loose weight, and of course she listened







.Thank goodness I'm better informed than she was.


----------



## Mama8

Dumb comments:
"So you're trying for a boy?" After finding out we have 7 girls. Uh no, we just want healthy children.
"Your poor husband having all those girls." Um thanks? I guess boys are just more valuable. King Henry the 8th I am I am.
"Your only doing that for yourself" My aunt said to me when she found out I was still breast feeding my 18 month old. Oh my gosh yes! That must be it.
"You ARE having a c-section" Yep the aunt, when finding out I was pregnant with our last child because I had a c-section the pregnancy before with the twins. Due to the fact our son couldn't handle labor. Let's just ignore the fact I gave birth vaginally 5 times before
"That midwife should have her licensed stripped!!!"By same aunt who is an OBGYN head RN. After finding out I did have that home birth.I neglected to mention she was a direct entry midwife.








"You tell Annika to go and bite her hard and you do it too!" My mom after finding out that our 2 year old had a biting problem and our 4 yr old Annika was the frequent target.







:
"I would never have a kid hanging off my boob!" From my mom. Thanks mom I know. You never bf me and you smoked and I went through 81/2 yrs of He** from Ulcerative Colitis when studies have shown if you had bf me my chances of ever getting UC would have been cut drastically. (Note I do really love my mom and she no longer smokes. She is a great grandmother just clueless about bf)
When I get frustrated with the children "Well if you didn't have so many" Okay which should I give back.
"You need to move on." After death of our son.
"You should be greatful you have other children." Also after death of son.
Also the typical
"You going to spoil that child if you don't put her down to sleep" After birth of many children.
"She's spoiled!" When baby cries to picked up, feed changed or comforted etc.
"You just need to spank her!" Said to dh by his brother when dh told our 4 yr old to come here and she said "No, I want to play up here." Luckily dh said "we don't do things that way" Right after dh said that our dd came up to him and said,"I am sorry Daddy. I am coming. I wanted to play upstairs but now I am done."
"You're still bfing her?!"
After our baby (who is now 4) had Steven's Johnson Syndrome from vaccines and the doctor even refused to vaccinate further my mother's friend said,"Well, you still HAVE to vaccinate her. There is no other choice." And glared at me challenging me to dispute her. Okay I will just kill her so she can be vaccinated. Do these people ever do any research? Or are they the ones who believe in the acceptable levels of death?
Oh I could go on.....20 years of raising children I have heard quite a few but I should stop now


----------



## Citykid

I meant to read the whole thread before I posted (37 weeks preg and I'm enjoying it so much!) but I got a beauty from my boss yesterday that I wanted to share. She just had her first baby about six months ago.

"Oh, you're at the stage where you're constantly worrying - 'was that a kick? Has she not kicked in a while? When was the last time she kicked? Is she just sleeping, or...you know....'" (significant look)

Thanks so much for suggesting that my baby might be dead! What a lovely person you are!


----------



## MarcyC

Okay, I have worked my "you-know-what" off to nurse. I have a hormone imbalance which has resulted in lower than low prolactin levels. I take herbs, dom, eat lactogenic foods and use an SNS. We're FINALLY to the point where we only use the SNS 1/2 the time (3 out of 6 nursings). And I'm pretty sure the ped. will tell us tomorrow to just supplement with solids (she turns 1 tomorrow). Maybe we can also offer whole milk in a sippy cup?

So, MIL asks if I'm still nursing. I said yes. She said, "you don't mind nursing her still?"

DO I MIND!?!? DO I MIND!!??!!??

Do you have any freakin' idea how long I've worked for NORMAL nursing relationship!?







:


----------



## catnip

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MarcyC*
Okay, I have worked my "you-know-what" off to nurse. I have a hormone imbalance which has resulted in lower than low prolactin levels. I take herbs, dom, eat lactogenic foods and use an SNS. We're FINALLY to the point where we only use the SNS 1/2 the time (3 out of 6 nursings). And I'm pretty sure the ped. will tell us tomorrow to just supplement with solids (she turns 1 tomorrow). Maybe we can also offer whole milk in a sippy cup?

So, MIL asks if I'm still nursing. I said yes. She said, "you don't mind nursing her still?"

DO I MIND!?!? DO I MIND!!??!!??

Do you have any freakin' idea how long I've worked for NORMAL nursing relationship!?







:









Long and hard. BTDT too. Congratulations for making it to a year!


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## rose_bud79

While dh and I were still doing research on vacs, MIL said " well, you would never be able to forgive yourself if Asher get a disease that you never had him vaccinated for!" And I said, " No, I would never be able to forgive myself if he developed a mental disorder or auto-immune disorder b/c I had poisen injected into his little body!" It made her stop and think for a minute b/c she had never thought of it that way.


----------



## redwolf2

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MarcyC*
Okay, I have worked my "you-know-what" off to nurse. I have a hormone imbalance which has resulted in lower than low prolactin levels. I take herbs, dom, eat lactogenic foods and use an SNS. We're FINALLY to the point where we only use the SNS 1/2 the time (3 out of 6 nursings). And I'm pretty sure the ped. will tell us tomorrow to just supplement with solids (she turns 1 tomorrow). Maybe we can also offer whole milk in a sippy cup?

So, MIL asks if I'm still nursing. I said yes. She said, "you don't mind nursing her still?"

DO I MIND!?!? DO I MIND!!??!!??

Do you have any freakin' idea how long I've worked for NORMAL nursing relationship!?







:

Good for you mama!!!!!









I have 4MO twins that took A few weeks to get nursing because they were preemies Nd my MIL suggested the other day to supplement to give myself a break. WTF? Yeh, I want to give myself a break by going to the store buying formula (or pumping) and wash bottles make 2 bottles heat 2 bottles feed 2 babies sterilize 2 bottles again and repeat. That sounds like a break!









I had to do the pump around the clock and bottle thing for 6 weeks and I never want to do it again. Especially for 2 babes!!!!


----------



## carolynrosa

Talking to an old friend last night (she's a new parent, as well, but very mainstream)... she almost dies when I said we don't vaccinate... she said, "what about SCHOOL?" I told her we plant to homeschool anyway, and she said, "She e so dorky and won't have any friends and I suppose you won't ever let her date and she'll only be able to be friends with the other churchy-kids!"

She knows we are atheist, so I can only assume she was trying to be inflammatory. I told her my dd will take classes for music, dance, be on sports teams if she wants, go to camp if she wants, and that she can have any friends she chooses... Whatever.

She also think I'm practically starving my 5 mos dd because she doesn't eat solids. Her son, on the other hand is such a GOOD eater. He "loves honey combs and vanilla wafers." Oh and he sleeps through the night "because he knows I'm not gonna come get him if he cries." Poor kiddo!


----------



## RadiantMama

WOw...yeah...good eater, huh...
the fabulous future awaits that poor kid eating honeycombs.


----------



## PennyRoo

You've Got To Let That Baby Learn To Cry!


----------



## MelissaEvans

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PennyRoo*
You've Got To Let That Baby Learn To Cry!

After all, this is something that must be taught to a baby, they don't know how to do it without instructions. =)


----------



## momtoNatalee

Yesterday my "mainstream" friend said "she doesn't know how to crawl yet b/c you hold her too much" LOL

And of course she had to throw in the "you need to let her cry b/c it's good for her lungs"


----------



## Shaunam

I vented about this in the lactivism forum a while ago, but thought I should add it here, too.

My sister and I were discussing what our babies were eating (at the time, her DD was almost 8 months and my DS was 14 months) and she was soooo concerned with additives in food and the over-processed ingredients and such. I'm not too worried about it. I gave my son the best start in life by breastfeeding him. He's still about 80% breastfed. So if he gets a little hamburger helper, I'm not going to freak out. I mostly make good healthy meals, but yes, he has tasted mc'donalds a few times. I'm not going to feel bad about it.

So my sister feels bad giving her DD regular table food "because she's just so pure, I don't want to mess her up!"

Here's the kicker: My neice has been fed formula since day 1. She did get pumped breastmilk for about a week, but it was supplemented w/formula. Been ff'd since. She was practically force-fed solids at 3 1/2 months. She would thrust them out and my sister would just keep shoveling them in until her DD cried. And it was jarred gerber food, not even the organic kind. She lets her have unlimited amounts of gerber puffs.

I didn't want to be mean about it, but I had to point out to my sister that the food she's been feeding her DD thus far hasn't exactly been "pure".

But then she brought it up again while our mom was in town and my mom wasn't so nice about it. She immediately saw the irony in what my sister was saying and *laughed*! Ok, so it was a little mean, but then she explained to my sister exactly why formula and jarred baby food is some of the most processed foods out there and my sister hasn't brought it up since.

The whole thing left me


----------



## mcjessica

DS and I were at a friend's house last night. Friend has an 8-year-old daughter who was very curious about my baby. Baby Gray is 3 months old and almost 18#, and is a chunker (he's big-boned!) Anyway, the little girl was soooo curious about him, and asked, "What does he eat? What's his favorite food?" And I of course told her, "He drinks milk!" She made a very wrinkly skeptical type face and said, "I don't think milk is enough for him..." which cracked me up because OBVIOUSLY this kid isn't starving!

Got some positive comments about wearing DS in a Mei Tai. He was fussing last night so I popped him in my new MT and he instantly calmed down. Everyone was so impressed and made comments about how comfy and snug he looked. Then my FIL had to go and say to my husband, as he was popping on the MT, "Do your balls shrink every time you put that thing on?"


----------



## pjlioness

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mcjessica*
Got some positive comments about wearing DS in a Mei Tai. He was fussing last night so I popped him in my new MT and he instantly calmed down. Everyone was so impressed and made comments about how comfy and snug he looked. Then my FIL had to go and say to my husband, as he was popping on the MT, "Do your balls shrink every time you put that thing on?"









Too bad he didn't have the presence of mind to throw off an, "Eh, I think I'm man enough to be a father to my son."


----------



## Mama8

I have already posted but I have some doozies to add. I have a big range in the age of my seven living dds. My older ones enjoy taking out the little ones when they go somewhere. Usually the older girls will have the little girls take turns going places with them. Well, my 15 yr old had taken my 2 yr old to the store where the 2 yr old had a hissy fit about not being able to keep grabbing things off the the shelves. While the 15 yr old is trying to pick up the writhing child off the floor and put an item back on the shelf a lady came up watched the scene for a moment and said with a sneering look on her face,"Being a teenage mom is *hard* isn't it. Bet you've learned your lesson now!" My dd felt 2 inches high and couldn't wait to tell the rest of us about it. Then my 17 yr old dd had my 4 yr old on the bus with her. Now my 17 yr old is radical in her dress. Lots of black and dramatic make-up but she is a really good person with a really good head on her shoulders. She was showing the 4 yr old things that were going by and this woman said in my 17 yr olds direction but not directly to her,"Sad there are so many single mothers out there and so young! I feel so sorry for the children!" My 20 yr old took out the 4 yr old too and got the "So young to be a mommy" comment. Our family was kind of














for a while because the older girls get these type of comments every so often. Now we have worked on a comeback "Yes, it is hard. Especially with the 3 other children I have at home." Now the reaction of these rude people is







: We as a family are







: I am just so happy that my older girls love carrying around their sisters in slings and including them in their activities. I just wish they could get the praise they deserve. What do these people think, that my girls got pregnant at 11 and 12 yrs old? Even it was true that they were out and about doing things with their babies and children wouldn't it be better to be supportive of these mothers and not add to their burdens?


----------



## kalirush

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mama8*
What do these people think, that my girls got pregnant at 11 and 12 yrs old? Even it was true that they were out and about doing things with their babies and children wouldn't it be better to be supportive of these mothers and not add to their burdens?

My husband teaches in the public schools, and I can tell you- it happens.

But I totally can't see being nasty to anyone because of it! I mean, really- it's a little late to do any good (even if you ever thought it would), y'know?

Julia


----------



## lauriebeth

that their child wasnt BF and "They are fine!"

I just stood there, staring at her, and her two kids with year round allergies. Um.... yeah.


----------



## boingo82

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mama8*
,,Even it was true that they were out and about doing things with their babies and children wouldn't it be better to be supportive of these mothers and not add to their burdens?

I got that once in WalMart when toting around my little brother - he was born when I was 15. People make the dumbest assumptions sometimes. (A different time at the same WalMart, the cashier assumed that I was married to my DAD and make a joke that was rather inappropriate given our actual relationship.)


----------



## mollyeilis

My first half brother was born when I was 13, and we looked more alike than anyone else in the families, and once I got my driver's license I'd take him out...my goodness people surely do make the most obnoxious assumptions....

I would NEVER just take it, though, or worse, lie about it. I would ALWAYS tell them that he was my brother! Gotta make them realize they are wrong, and you HAVE TO make them THINK for the next time they see a similar-looking situation! Help out the next people they see!


----------



## catnip

I frequently get people assuming my husband is my father. I'm a young-looking 32 and he's a somewhat mature-looking 41. And I used to get teenage mom comments at, oh, 14 or so when I would go places with the 4 year old I babysat.









There is a 12 year-old in the teen pregnancy class that my LLL has been doing outreach with.


----------



## Mama8

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mollyeilis*
My first half brother was born when I was 13, and we looked more alike than anyone else in the families, and once I got my driver's license I'd take him out...my goodness people surely do make the most obnoxious assumptions....

I would NEVER just take it, though, or worse, lie about it. I would ALWAYS tell them that he was my brother! Gotta make them realize they are wrong, and you HAVE TO make them THINK for the next time they see a similar-looking situation! Help out the next people they see!

Mollyeiles, many times when the people have been polite and not agressively attacking the girls they have and do explain they are sisters. But if someone attacks my children I vote for the comeback. Sometimes you just got to back people off. You would think that living here in UT home of the huge families people would already be educated that siblings are often a lot older/younger than each other. It is common to see a family of 5 kids and not that uncommon to see a family of 6-7-8 children and you will even see a family of 10 or more. That is just the culture we live in.


----------



## mollyeilis

Hmm, I definitely think differently...the nastier the person, the quicker I would be in telling them the truth.

I also started just calling the boys "brother" or "little bro" or things like that, when in public, so anyone standing close enough could HEAR that they were wrong in their thinking. Funny, I do similar now, conducting loud conversations with my son when he's acting up, letting others nearby know that I'm aware he's being annoying and am trying to help him through it.









I'm just SO thankful my half sister looks NOTHING like me...she's 25 years younger than me!


----------



## indiana ima

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mollyeilis*
I also started just calling the boys "brother" or "little bro" or things like that, when in public, so anyone standing close enough could HEAR that they were wrong in their thinking.

i'm with you. i was 17 when my little sister was born. there's only our brother between us, so it wasn't a "big family" situation, and everywhere we went people assumed that i was her mother. people also assumed that my mom was her grandmother. these things happened whether mom and i were both there or not. mom and i both found it intensely annoying, and my first nickname for my sister was "Sis".


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mama8*
While the 15 yr old is trying to pick up the writhing child off the floor and put an item back on the shelf a lady came up watched the scene for a moment and said with a sneering look on her face,"Being a teenage mom is *hard* isn't it. Bet you've learned your lesson now!"

"Yes, I've learned that even apparently normal looking adults can be horribly rude. I will thank you to keep that sort of nasty remark to yourself in front of my baby SISTER! And even if I *were* a teenage mother your remark was wholly inappropriate and entirely uncalled for. Good day."

Of course I'm







about the "three at home" comment. Maybe one of these days your older dds will get some money out of one of these obnoxious people who gets a twinge of guilt over their remarks.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lauriebeth*
that their child wasnt BF and "They are fine!"

I just stood there, staring at her, and her two kids with year round allergies. Um.... yeah.

I was breastfed till 3 and have a ton of allergies







. Of course, I also haven't gone to the effort of cutting out dairy







.


----------



## hellyaellen

ok this one is a stupid thing some one did not something they said but...

what kind of idiot sends a six month old chocolate candy??? (my father and his wife apparently)


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## peaceful_mama

I remember too my mom started doing daycare when I was 13...we used to take those kids EVERYWHERE, including the clinic when one of them had an appointment. My parents' doctors were an hour away from where we lived, so instead of leaving me alone *all day*, they'd take me. (can't remember who had the health issue at the time, but we were pretty frequent visitors for awhile) And the clinic had a gigant-o playroom, so I'd take the little girl in there. (At the time, my mom had ONE kiddo, it later grew to 4 with that one's lil brother and the neighbor's 2)
Now I can *sort of* see given the setting why people *might* assume I was her mom, but come on...I did the math once, I would have had to been pregnant at like 11 years 9 months old to have her, and where I live at that time, that was nearly unheard of. (Still is that young really)

Another time too I was babysitting and took the kids to a park...3 of them. The oldest was 4 or 5 and I was probably not more than 15--yeah, somebody thought I was their mom! Even with them being very obviously Native American and me being very obviously NOT.







(I suppose that *could* happen, but I'd say 95% of the 'mixed' babies I've seen, where they have one darker-skinned and one light-skinned parent, the kids are lighter but you can tell they're not 100% 'white' too. If you want a prime example, click my siggy,







)

And on the 'race' thing







maybe i posted this already, but my friend and I took our kids to ChuckECheese's one day. They're 2 months apart in age, but about the same size. My DS and she has a DD. My child is obviously (to me) half-black, hers is half-N. American. They really look NOTHING alike, the only similarity is their size. Some woman asked us if they were twins!!!







I'm really sad I didn't think of this in time, but I later told my friend if we ever get asked that again, I'm going to say 'yeah, Identical' because I'll *love* watching them try to puzzle that one out!! (We do a lot of stuff together, it's likely we'll run across another idiot...and really, if they're that dumb, it'll take them a minute to 'get it.'







)


----------



## peaceful_mama

oh and to the chocolate candy....I dunno, the same idiots who think a 4month old (who by the way was intolerant of dairy!) is going to STARVE without mashed potatoes? (did I mention the obvious fact that mashed potatoes are made with MILK AND BUTTER?) or Jell-O. (which we don't eat because it's pork gelatin) "But they serve Jell-0 in hospitals..."


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## janerose

Don't even get me going on the whole candy/junk food thing. Both our families think I'm super up-tight because we're VERY restrictive with DD eating sweets. She didn't have any before age 1 of course, then just a few bites of vanilla cake on her first b-day. She still hasn't had icecream & maybe had chocolate once or twice?

Of course, they also think I'm a nut because I bring along organic crackers & fruit when we visit places so they don't give her Cheese Nips or Cheese curls. *sigh* No wonder DH & I both have weight/health issues!

I'm extra picky too because DD was bf, but also supplemented with ff because I had supply issues. We used organic ff when possible, but still I think I'll always feel the need to "make-up" for having to give her formula.










Holly


----------



## heathenmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *janerose*
Don't even get me going on the whole candy/junk food thing. Both our families think I'm super up-tight because we're VERY restrictive with DD eating sweets. She didn't have any before age 1 of course, then just a few bites of vanilla cake on her first b-day. She still hasn't had icecream & maybe had chocolate once or twice?

Of course, they also think I'm a nut because I bring along organic crackers & fruit when we visit places so they don't give her Cheese Nips or Cheese curls. *sigh* No wonder DH & I both have weight/health issues!

I'm extra picky too because DD was bf, but also supplemented with ff because I had supply issues. We used organic ff when possible, but still I think I'll always feel the need to "make-up" for having to give her formula.









Holly

I could have written this post! DD had a little cake at her birthday. The cake was mismarked so we accidentally got chocolate. Everywhere it touched her, she got hives.







I can count on one hand the # of times she's had "sweets" because (a) I DON'T want her having the same weight issues as EVERY SINGLE OTHER PERSON IN OUR FAMILY; and (b) she just doesn't handle them well. They know this, but I still have to fight the stupid battle every holiday/birthday/special occasion.







:


----------



## BelgianSheepDog

When I was in my teens I used to babysit a lot for my aunt's little ones and I'd get the crappy "teen mom" comments whenever I would take them to the park or the store when there were lots of other people around. I don't get what makes people think that's appropriate. I mean if my 18-month-old cousin really *had* been my baby, when I was 13 years old, I would think that smiling at me and treating me with compassion would be a better solution than calling me names and snarling "poor baby."

Unfortunately I'm a very young looking 25 (it's genetic, my mom is 57 and looks about 40) and I've still gotten a couple snide remarks since I've been very hugely pregnant. I don't know if I should laugh or cry.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BelgianSheepDog*
Unfortunately I'm a very young looking 25 (it's genetic, my mom is 57 and looks about 40) and I've still gotten a couple snide remarks since I've been very hugely pregnant. I don't know if I should laugh or cry.

Laugh...well, if the pregnany hormones are making you feel snarky, tell them you're 35 and that thinking spiteful thoughts causes wrinkles.


----------



## wsgrl84

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BelgianSheepDog*
Unfortunately I'm a very young looking 25 (it's genetic, my mom is 57 and looks about 40) and I've still gotten a couple snide remarks since I've been very hugely pregnant. I don't know if I should laugh or cry.

Same here!







I get really sensitive about this topic! I'm young looking too and I normally just chuckle now and think to myself.."well you know what *beep* when I'm 50 like you, I'll look 35, you won't say anything then!"









Is that harsh?









I would also get remarks making me feel like I'm not good enough of a mom too.

Get this...Just today my MIL told me my DS has some *genetic problem* because he keeps hittting his head from side to side in bed. I'm like WHAT?! ok first of all my baby is as healthy as he can and what he's doing is called _headbanging_, it means he wants to sleep and it's *NORMAL*. Good grief. Doesn't she know I would see if anything is wrong with my DS!?







:


----------



## Throkmorton

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zakers_mama*
They really look NOTHING alike, the only similarity is their size. Some woman asked us if they were twins!!!









I get this all the time! Arg! If I have my nephew with me, people will constantly ask if the boys are twins. Now, they are roughly the same size despite being 20 months apart (DS is big for his age, DN is small) but they look nothing alike, and don't look or act the same age. Proportionally, my DS looks like a 4 year old, and my nephew looks like a 6 year old. I have been getting this comment since they were 1.5 and 3.

Of course, it doesn't help that they other day i had the whole crew (6 yo DN, 4 yo DS, 5 month old DN and me, very pg) in a store and I was trying to wrangle them. Someone asked me if I was "mormon or something"

I said "no, but being that this one is 5 months old, and I am 9 months pregnant, that would be something, wouldn't it?"


----------



## hsingmamato3

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Throkmorton*
I get this all the time! Arg! If I have my nephew with me, people will constantly ask if the boys are twins.

My favourite is the day I took my two younger girls out when they were 1 and 2.5 years old. I went into Tim Horton's and the lady there smiled at them and asked if they were mine, I said yes. She asked if they were twins and I said no... to which she replied "Are you sure??"














:


----------



## blessed

Quote:


Originally Posted by *artgoddess*
My mom did not BF by choice and I was a big ole rolly-polly babe. The pediatrician told her to only give me low-fat milk, so I would loose weight, and of course she listened







.Thank goodness I'm better informed than she was.

I bottle nurse my 26 month old once per day with whole milk, and she drinks both whole milk and supplemented soymilk throughout the day.

At her 2 year check the pediatrician said, 'we recommend that you switch to low fat milk at this age'. Well, okay, why is that? 'Because of all the obesity problems.'

My dd fluctuates between off the charts small to (her maximun) the 25th percentile on weight. She's 24 lbs at 26 months right now, for example.

I said 'uh, yeah, thanks. I don't think I'll be doing that. In fact, if she wanted ice cream every day that'd be fine by me.'

Talk about painting with a broad brush







:


----------



## janerose

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blessed*
I bottle nurse my 26 month old once per day with whole milk, and she drinks both whole milk and supplemented soymilk throughout the day.

At her 2 year check the pediatrician said, 'we recommend that you switch to low fat milk at this age'. Well, okay, why is that? 'Because of all the obesity problems.'

My dd fluctuates between off the charts small to (her maximun) the 25th percentile on weight. She's 24 lbs at 26 months right now, for example.

I said 'uh, yeah, thanks. I don't think I'll be doing that. In fact, if she wanted ice cream every day that'd be fine by me.'

Talk about painting with a broad brush







:

You know, I've gotten similar comments from our ped. Which is kind of weird because they're normally pretty good. My DD is around the 30% for weight, so not quite as low as your DD, but she's also in the +90% for height. This means shes VERY long and lean of course. Perfectly healthy, but I did have to scratch my head when he mentioned changing her to 1 or 2% milk at her second birthday. Why? I mean, she's NOT obese, gets no junk food, organic milk, mostly organic fruits & veggies,







.

Of course, he was also telling me how she would need a Hib booster at her 2 year check-up, since we just had the Hib shot done at her 18 mo visit. I had to point out to him that both the CDC & the insert in the vax state that after 18 mo of age only one shot is required. He looked kind of shocked I knew that (and that I pulled out the insert they gave me to prove it!), but I was just really disgusted that he DIDN'T know that.







: Like I said, they're usually pretty good, but...sheesh...we really don't vax. That one Hib is the only shot DD has had & will have for quite some time. The only reason we got it is because DH is a college student & we live in a college town where there is an outbreak of meningitis *every* spring.

Holly


----------



## firstkid4me

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zakers_mama*
And on the 'race' thing







maybe i posted this already, but my friend and I took our kids to ChuckECheese's one day. They're 2 months apart in age, but about the same size. My DS and she has a DD. My child is obviously (to me) half-black, hers is half-N. American. They really look NOTHING alike, the only similarity is their size. Some woman asked us if they were twins!!!







I'm really sad I didn't think of this in time, but I later told my friend if we ever get asked that again, I'm going to say 'yeah, Identical' because I'll *love* watching them try to puzzle that one out!! (We do a lot of stuff together, it's likely we'll run across another idiot...and really, if they're that dumb, it'll take them a minute to 'get it.'







)

At least they're roughly the same size, I was at the mall with a friend her baby, who is 4 months younger than Emily, way darker, and a bit smaller than she is, ask if they were twins.

I was in the ER with dd on Saturday because we were both sick, NURSING her, a friend was with us, and the nurse comes in asking who the mom is!!!! I said, "Well, since I'm nursing her, I would say I am." The nurse was like, "Oh, I didn't realize you were nursing her." Here's your sign!


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Throkmorton*
I said "no, but being that this one is 5 months old, and I am 9 months pregnant, that would be something, wouldn't it?"

Oh that's all the rage now, it's like staggering your lettuce planting so you've always got one fresh and ready to harvest.


----------



## mamaverdi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hsingmamato3*
My favourite is the day I took my two younger girls out when they were 1 and 2.5 years old. I went into Tim Horton's and the lady there smiled at them and asked if they were mine, I said yes. She asked if they were twins and I said no... to which she replied "Are you sure??"














:








































This reminds me of that movie Garden State when Natalie Portman's character goes on and on about the guy's character having played a character in a movie: "Are you sure you're not retarded? I can't believe you're not retarded!"


----------



## Mama8

Quote:


Originally Posted by *William's Mom*
But what really, really hurt my feelings was at the end of the exam, she point blank said, "William has a big nose and a small chin, but don't worry, he can have plastic surgery when he's older. They can do all sorts of extreme makeovers these days. They can fix him right up!"

I was taken aback and terribly hurt. So much so that I said nothing to her, but set there almost in tears. I think my son is beautiful, and doesn't need to be "fixed."

&#8230;.

I know you posted this a while ago I just came across it as I am trying to read this whole thread!








I just had to write and let you know that the only thing that needs fixing is that womens brain. Your baby is absolutely beautiful! He is truly a gift. I wish I could have been there with some snappy comment. She is the one who need extreme make over plastic surgery~some type where they stitch her mouth shut permanently! I would take you and your precious baby somewhere else!

.


----------



## Mama8

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mummoth*
Victorian... you might want to do a search on hand foot mouth... I'm certain I just read something about it here... licorice tea helps, maybe?

Ooohhhh I get it! I thought you were all talking about someone







Now I understand you are talking about the actual illness







:


----------



## Mama8

I had my 4th dd in a birthing center after the bathed her and put a tiny little bow in her hair my dh brought her back to me. A nurse walks into the room looks at the bow and says,"Oh good! She has a pink bow in. We save the red bows for the bad babies."





























The last time I was pregnant and I walked to their nursery past a sign that said,"No visiting nursery between the hours of 6:00pm-7:00pm" I looked in and every baby that had been born there was lined up in rows of plastic boxes. The nurses of the day and night shifts were sitting there with their backs to the babies getting report. Some of the babies were crying so pitifully I just wanted to scoop them up and run with them back to their mothers. Not one nurse was even looking at the babies.



































This is one of the things that really motivated me into having a home birth. Because even at this "progressive"







: birthing center every baby "had" to be at the nursery during shift change. That is totally ridiculus! They don't herd all the mothers into one room so that it is easier on the nurses to check on them. I am still trying to figure out how to word a letter to the administrator of that birthing center on what I saw and how it help solidify why I had a home birth.

edited because baby posted this reply before I was finished she was eager to get the word out


----------



## mamaleahnz

A lady who lives down the street from me said to me after easter "(her son) has just been unbelievable the last few days, so naughty, I think Easter was a bit busy for him" I really wanted to suggest that perhaps she shouldnt have let her 9mth son gorge himself on chocolate easter eggs for two days!


----------



## mamaleahnz

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hellyaellen*
ok this one is a stupid thing some one did not something they said but...

what kind of idiot sends a six month old chocolate candy??? (my father and his wife apparently)

A lady who lives down the street from me said to me after easter "(her son) has just been unbelievable the last few days, so naughty, I think Easter was a bit busy for him" I really wanted to suggest that perhaps she shouldnt have let her 9mth son gorge himself on chocolate easter eggs for two days!


----------



## cinnamonamon

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hellyaellen*
what kind of idiot sends a six month old chocolate candy??? (my father and his wife apparently)









No one ever did this to us, but we always used to put candy in DS1's basket -- with the intention to eat it ourselves!


----------



## WinterBaby

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mollyeilis*
I would NEVER just take it, though, or worse, lie about it. I would ALWAYS tell them that he was my brother! Gotta make them realize they are wrong, and you HAVE TO make them THINK for the next time they see a similar-looking situation! Help out the next people they see!

As a teen I'd have been inclined to say "You know I *TOLD* my mother if she'd just wait a couple more years to have this baby, medicare would've paid for a nanny!"


----------



## minkajane

I was told yesterday by a coworker that homeschooled kids and especially unschooled kids would never be able to go to college because they wouldn't learn time management skills.

Here are a few more gems I've heard recently:

- Here's a toy because your mommy won't let me give you chocolate eggs in your Easter basket. (From my grandmother to my 15-month-old.)
- I hope you're getting him vax'd because I got everything coming and going as a kid. (No, mom, we're not, but thanks.)
- That's what our ped told us when we had kids. (You had kids 25 years ago. Things change.)
- His mouth was just too small to latch right on my large breasts. (Seemed to work for 3 1/2 months, I don't know what changed.)
- I just thought he had a small penis. (My friend, when I explained that her adopted son had a buried penis due to his circ.)


----------



## DoulaLace

ugh...only one thing? but there are soo many!

One was, "homebirth is so unsafe," um, no its not but smoking your entire pregnancy is!!!!!!!! Dummy!


----------



## rmzbm

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mama8*
The last time I was pregnant and I walked to their nursery past a sign that said,"No visiting nursery between the hours of 6:00pm-7:00pm" I looked in and every baby that had been born there was lined up in rows of plastic boxes. The nurses of the day and night shifts were sitting there with their backs to the babies getting report. Some of the babies were crying so pitifully I just wanted to scoop them up and run with them back to their mothers. Not one nurse was even looking at the babies.









: I have always found it VERY odd that people would line up in hospitals, around the nursery window, and smile at all the babies SCREAMING!! That's "cute??" I think it's barbaric, inhuman & terribly sad.


----------



## ramlita

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane*
- I hope you're getting him vax'd because I got everything coming and going as a kid. (No, mom, we're not, but thanks.)

Well gee, did she miss some of the vaxes on the schedule?

Because if you follow the doctors' orders and vax schedules perfectly, you will be rewarded with a perfectly healthy child who never, ever gets sick.









What's up with advice that is _not_ accompanied by success stories?
"All my kids were colicy and miserable as babies. ...Breastfeeding? Oh, that's weird and unnecessary. I bottle fed, and my kids are all fine."


----------



## pjlioness

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ramlita*
"All my kids were colicy and miserable as babies. ...Breastfeeding? Oh, that's weird and unnecessary. I bottle fed, and my kids are all fine."

Was that the same person???


----------



## mamatoady

mine isn't what someone said, it's what someone did. I had my daughter in for a well-baby check-up and the nurse was going to measure her. She layed her on a sheet and drew a line on the sheet where her head came up to and then went to make her mark by her feet and pulled her toes straight down and marked the sheet as though she was standing on her tippy toes









I just looked at her and said "are you serious?" she kind of looked at me funny and I realized I might be embarrasing her and explained that she gets measured at her heals and not at her toes!

Sarah

I'm editing b/c i just remembered the most recent one"

My MIL told me that our local hospital stopped doing water births because of all the babies that were dying of pnemonia after inhaling water during the birth. Even though I knew her logic was way off, i checked and our hospital has NEVER even done water births and when I confronted her she said "well, I can see it happening."


----------



## heathenmom

I asked my sister a couple of days ago to tell me about how life changes when you go from 1 child to 2 (she has 2 children who are much older than my dd). She told me that "you'll *have* to put it in a playpen from day 1 so that it'll get used to it." She compared using a playpen to swaddling an infant and said that it teaches children boundaries.







If you can't tell, my family thinks I'm a little nuts for wearing dd & cosleeping and never using a playpen or crib (even though we had both of them .... I had no idea I'd turn out to be such an AP mom!!







).


----------



## catnip

Heard this one online:

"We didn't have things like Columbine when more people were still responsible enough to spank their kids."


----------



## pjlioness

Quote:


Originally Posted by *catnip*
Heard this one online:

"We didn't have things like Columbine when more people were still responsible enough to spank their kids."

I think it's more like, "We didn't have things like Columbine when more people paid more attention to their kids."


----------



## ramlita

Exactly.


----------



## ramlita

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pjlioness*
Was that the same person???









Yeah... though more of a composite of _many_ different people saying exactly those things.


----------



## Shenjall

Quote:

My MIL told me that our local hospital stopped doing water births because of all the babies that were dying of pnemonia after inhaling water during the birth. Even though I knew her logic was way off, i checked and our hospital has NEVER even done water births and when I confronted her she said "well, I can see it happening."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My mom does this all the time! She'll outright LIE to try and make me believe whatever crap she's trying to feed me. I laugh it off now; rude, but effective.


----------



## jayayenay

I got my first unsolicited parenting "advice" yesterday:

I was wearing my almost-4mo son in the ergo & he had fallen asleep. His head was slumped over a bit, but not enough to warrant putting up the head-holder thingy (he wakes up when I undo the velcro). A woman standing in front of us in line looked at him, her eyes got big, and she said, "you need to support the head!" At the same time, she reached out and showed me what she meant.







: I backed up out of her reach, smiled & said something like, "He's okay. He's comfortable. He's doing just fine." She insisted that she had "raised 4 children and 2 grandchildren." I kept smiling & said, "Yeah, they're really fun, aren't they?" A few minutes later, his head had slumped enough that I *was* supporting it a little bit, and of course she sees that and says, "Oh, that's much better!"

ARRRGGGHHH!!

Part of me is happy that I was polite and just ignored her rudeness, but part of me is upset that I didn't come back with a snappy comment.

"You need to support the head!" --> "And YOU need to not give unsolicited parenting advice!"

"I raised 4 children and 2 grandchildren!" --> "And you still haven't figured out not to tell other people how to raise their own kids?"


----------



## ACsMom

I had a boss years ago who warned me against ever having children out-of-wedlock (yes, it was inappropriate for him to be talking about this at all with me) because if you have a boy and he grows up without a father, he'll "turn gay."







:

The bad part is this guy was (is) a PhD psychologist.


----------



## minkajane

Jayayenay, she would've had a heart attack if she had seen my DS a few weeks ago. I went bowling and he wasn't feeling well, so I put him in the Mei Tai on my back. He conked out and his head was at a 90 degree angle to his body! I figured if he was uncomfortable, he'd move or wiggle or something. Granted, he's 15 months old, but even a 4-month-old is past the hold-their-heads-all-the-time stage.


----------



## jayayenay

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane*
I figured if he was uncomfortable, he'd move or wiggle or something. Granted, he's 15 months old, but even a 4-month-old is past the hold-their-heads-all-the-time stage.

No kidding! My son definitely lets me know when he's uncomfortable. YES! He'll MOVE if he isn't comfy! I know *I* can't sleep when I'm uncomfortable, so I imagine if he's passed out, he's doing just fine.

If the floppy head patrol woman had seen you, I bet her eyes would have bugged out of her head! She probably would have run over and flopped your son's head back up for you, jabbering all the while.









Aren't there bigger things in the world to be concerned about?


----------



## Beeblebrox

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ACsMom*
I had a boss years ago who warned me against ever having children out-of-wedlock (yes, it was inappropriate for him to be talking about this at all with me) because if you have a boy and he grows up without a father, he'll "turn gay."







:

Gee and what of young boys that lose their fathers at a young age? Did they get enough "man" to keep em' straight?







:


----------



## NYCVeg

Is it just me, or is everyone over the age of 45 obsessed w/ rice cereal?

We were talking w/ MIL and FIL (now that they're used to the whole bfing idea, they asked if we'd be supplementing w/ formula, to which we heartily replied, "No!"). FIL said, "Well, that doesn't really matter anyway...what you really want is to hope that your baby likes rice cereal." Um...yeah, that's what I want...too bad we'll never be offering her any.

Then, just a couple of days later, my mom's best friend (married to the world's most mainstream, c/s and episiotomy-happy OB, BTW) tells me how horrifyingly difficult it was with a young baby who wouldn't sleep through the night. But then, "I just ignored the doctor's advice and put cereal in his bottle and then he was sleeping 7 hours at a stretch!"

I can't believe people actually BRAG about this stuff.


----------



## elmh23

NYC, my MIL is IN LOVE with rice cereal, even though my dd is almost 17 months old now she still asks if we've given it to her yet. We just got back from a weekend vacation with them (OMG NEVER AGAIN!) and she was amazed I didn't bring rice cereal with me for dd. Cause apparently rice cereal is better for growing toddlers than protein packed eggs.


----------



## Shenjall

My mom is like that with potatoes. My nephew gets sick b/c he wont eat potatoes. um, yeah, whatever.


----------



## CourtCourt

I had my three month old DD in a turquoise blue Snugli and was grocery shopping. (It's the only way she would ALLOW me to grocery shop, LOL!) At some point in falling asleep, she had slipped her hand under one of the straps and had it resting on my chest. We went to check out (and for some reason at this grocery store, the cashiers always got surly when they had to deal with WIC checks), after the cashier practically threw a bag of cheese at me, she said, "His hand is turning blue. He should be in a seat in the cart."

I'm thinking that because I have a pale baby GIRL and she was in a turquoise Snugli, that's where she got the HE confused, and maybe the blue was reflecting off her hand. I wish I had come up with a better comeback, but I just pulled her hand out, hung it to her side, and went on with my day, making sure to smile and say thank you when I left.

My mom was ALWAYS pushing me to give DD rice cereal. "She will sleep through the night if you give it to her." We were co-sleeping, DH was gone, so I would just roll over if she got hungry at night and then go back to sleep myself.

And last but not least, as I'm sure many of you have heard, "How much longer are you planning on doing THAT?" (RE: Breastfeeding). A very good friend of mine would ask me EVERY time she talked to me, then would go on to say that she was only able to do it for six weeks, but I shouldn't do it too long or she will never learn how to drink from a cup! Um, yeah...


----------



## sapphire_chan

Offtopic:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MrsChicopea*
Gee and what of young boys that lose their fathers at a young age? Did they get enough "man" to keep em' straight?







:

Well, since a recent Dear Abby letter was from a woman who was worried that seeing her husband cook would turn her son gay (







) because of what she'd read in Dobson's books (







) my guess is that crowd would claim they either got enough man-time from other sources or that they are hiding their homosexuality to fool everyone.


----------



## ramlita

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan*
Offtopic:
Well, since a recent Dear Abby letter was from a woman who was worried that seeing her husband cook would turn her son gay...


----------



## eirual

People are dumb!

I had my 2 month old in a sling in January when we were on a walk. It was a nice day (4 degrees celcius- nice for a canadian January anyways) but I had dressed him for negative 10 degree weather at least. He was wearing 6 layers of clothing on his core alone, not to mention the sling, and I brought a fleece blanet with me to ward off the wind (especially since I had left his hat at my parents' out of town- he had a hood. Anyways, I assure he was NOT COLD!

And we had just been inside a store which was in a little mall for almost half an hour, so I'm thinking 'My god, my baby's going to overheat!!' The sun was shining, and it was not windy, so i slipped his hood down to try to let him regulate his body temp and not get too hot. I walked out the door to go outside, took literally 4 steps max. (not even to the sidewalk yet) and I hear
"....BABY!" so I turn thinking someone wants to see the baby or something, and there's this lady walking towards me- it was her 20somthing daughter that yelled to me. and she says "Cover your baby!" and I tried to explain that listen, he's wearing amilion layers and actually he's HOT! 'No, no, he's cold, he's going to catch pneumonia" as she TAKES THE BLANKET from me, to try to cover him. (I didn't bring that blanket for decoration, I did intend to use it when I needed to- when the wind picked up, or when we had made it at least 10 steps out the door and the coolness set in). I just insisted that he was fine and walked away- without covering him, but by the time I had made it across the street and into the open air, he did need to be covered, and I almost didn't want to out of spite- but obvously keeping my baby warm was more imoprtant to me.

I told her off in my head the whole way home, I was furious, I couldn't sleep all night it bugged me so much. I wish I had stuck up for myself.

And just for the record, I saw the daughter working at othe grocery store we go to the next weekend- she avoided us the whole time (and I was with my husband then and probably looked a little older- I'm 23 with a baby face, so wearing my woolies by myself outside they probably thought I was young, single, and didn't know what I was doing- not that young ppl don't know what they're doing, or are single- but lots of ppl like to think that they are)


----------



## WinterBaby

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ACsMom*
I had a boss years ago who warned me against ever having children out-of-wedlock (yes, it was inappropriate for him to be talking about this at all with me) because if you have a boy and he grows up without a father, he'll "turn gay."







:

The bad part is this guy was (is) a PhD psychologist.










Ha, he sounds like a man who blames his personal homosexual feelings on an absent father, lol.


----------



## siobhang

when DS1 was only 3 weeks old, my step mom came to help out - do laundry, make food, etc.

The second day she was there, she randomly commented to me "well, when you are more used to being a mom, you won't feel so insecure and feel like you need to hold the baby all the time."

I didn't respond to keep family peace, but I was thinking - no, I hold him all the time because I enjoy it!

Also, with DS2, when we discovered he was breech but were looking for a care provider who would at least try to help me deliver vaginally as well as trying to get the baby to turn, a good friend of mine emailed me to say, "oh, just plan on getting a c-section, since you are probably going to have one anyway!"

I wrote her a LONG response about why vaginal delivery of frank breech babies was totally safe with skilled practitioners and how a c-section should only be used in a true emergency situation, etc etc etc.

I got no reply from her, though after the delivery, she did congratulate me on avoiding a c-section and having a healthy baby. I heard, however, through the grapevine that she thinks I got *lucky* and was irresponsible to try for a vaginal delivery.

Siobhan


----------



## Thalia




----------



## ccbloom

I have big babies:first was almost 10Ibs and my second was over 10Ibs. Since I am a vegetarian it seemed silly to me that more than one person during my pregnancies felt the need to ask: "God that is big! What did you eat during your pregnancy?" You must have had lots of meat....hmmm actually no. I don't eat meat. I would always get a stunned look. Both my dh and his sister were over 9Ibs at birth so I guess it is true about genetics.

I also would get the bit about c-sections. Whenever someone would find out about my kids size at birth they would automatically say: "You had a c-section I assume." Hmm no, actually never. Or, when is your scheduled c-section...geez people it can be done without a c-section.


----------



## jrose_lee

Here are some direct quotes from my in-laws:

"*What!? You don't let him cry?!"* (while looking at me in complete astonishment that I don't set him down to bawl it out...I was ganged up on by MIL, FIL, Granny-in law)

Then they proceded to explain to me (while I'm seething mad at being attacked yet AGAIN at their family parties)
*"It's good for their lungs"*
*"Even adults cry"* (yeah and does your dw ignore you...um..no)

*"Oh..he's big. Maybe you should feed him less."* (I am Breastfeeding on demand...he knows when he's hungry- not me! Spoken by a formula feeding nasty granny in law)

*"I'll take him."* (in her whiney voice while grabbing 3 month ds from my arms)
(She tried it again the next time we were there and I held him away from her and said expectantly, "please?")

*"He's still sleeping with you...you'll regret that. He'll be sleeping with you forever."*

*"You hold him too much"* (We are AP)

Said to ds (3 montsh) after I finally let granny-in law hold him. He immediately starts crying (probably because he knows she's evil)
In a cooey ooey gooey baby voice, "Oh, you're mama's not holding you? You gonna cry cause you're mama's not holding you?" (Just trying to get another dig in about me holding him too much)

Sigh...I really dislike my inlaws. Hopefully we are moving soon. We recently asked them to respect our decisions and not gang up on us whenever we come over (very nicely I might add).....they in turn told us _their_ feelings were hurt.







:


----------



## liam'smomma

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jrose_lee*
Here are some direct quotes from my in-laws:

"*What!? You don't let him cry?!"* (while looking at me in complete astonishment that I don't set him down to bawl it out...I was ganged up on by MIL, FIL, Granny-in law)

Then they proceded to explain to me (while I'm seething mad at being attacked yet AGAIN at their family parties)
*"It's good for their lungs"*
*"Even adults cry"* (yeah and does your dw ignore you...um..no)

*"Oh..he's big. Maybe you should feed him less."* (I am Breastfeeding on demand...he knows when he's hungry- not me! Spoken by a formula feeding nasty granny in law)

*"I'll take him."* (in her whiney voice while grabbing 3 month ds from my arms)
(She tried it again the next time we were there and I held him away from her and said expectantly, "please?")

*"He's still sleeping with you...you'll regret that. He'll be sleeping with you forever."*

*"You hold him too much"* (We are AP)

Said to ds (3 montsh) after I finally let granny-in law hold him. He immediately starts crying (probably because he knows she's evil)
In a cooey ooey gooey baby voice, "Oh, you're mama's not holding you? You gonna cry cause you're mama's not holding you?" (Just trying to get another dig in about me holding him too much)

Sigh...I really dislike my inlaws. Hopefully we are moving soon. We recently asked them to respect our decisions and not gang up on us whenever we come over (very nicely I might add).....they in turn told us _their_ feelings were hurt.







:


UGH! I feel you!!!!! how I wish for a nicer mil. I am so happy to live 3000 miles away from her now. She made my life hellish for a long time.
She ACTUALLY fed my son chocolate cake when he was 6 months old.
When I blew up at her, (why would anyone with a brain give a BABY a mouth full of alergens and sugar?!?!?!?!?) she shrugged and said "it's my job to spoil my grandkids- besides Scott (my dp) ate cake all the time and he's fine (yeah- but he's not the one with food allergies and she KNOWS THIS)."
I have not let her be alone in the same room with DS since.


----------



## gabysmom617

I've got another one.

My husband was told by his mom that we are not supposed to do research on major decisions concerning our babe. (like, cding, not circumcising, breastfeeding, etc.)

we're supposed to COME TO OLDER MORE EXPERIENCED MOTHERS (namely her) to ask them what we should do, and take their advice. NOT do our own research.

yeah right.







.


----------



## thunderkitty

My daughters mother kept harrassing me about asking dd's ped. when she could give her a sugar water bottle. I was so mad. I kept trying to tell her it wasn't healthy and she kept telling me to ask anyways. Lets just say this is coming from a woman who's two sons both still have BLACK spots on their teeth. I Wonder if it was all those great habits she taught them when they were yound like eating sweets and junk all day and never brushing. Man am I glad I don't have to hear that crap anymore. I was lucky enough to have a mom who nursed me for a year,never gave in to the hype with me and never gave me a pacifier, bottle, anything and my teeth are the straightest and whitest I have ever seen without bleaching. Another reason to love my ma'!


----------



## tash11

"was it a natural birth?" no, it was a supernatural one







(seriously, at home, in the shower, standing up!







)

"how long are you planning on bfing?"







till she stops

"how are you going to get her out of your bed" well... right now I just pick her up, I think that will prolly go on for some time, eventually she will be able to just sit up and walk.

"does she sleep through the night?"







(again) if she doesnt she useually doesnt tell me about it

"you're spoiling her" so?
this is the one I actually get a lot. and it irks me to no end. I get this one from a good friend of mine I have known forever and I only get it because I wear my baby and I let her sleep when I am wearing her instead of putting her somewhere to sleep alone (I dont think she woudl sleep alone anyway)

from a pro-bfing friend: "you cant nurse her to sleep, her teeth will rot"

really though I dont get that many bad ones, especilly from strangers. mostly I get "oh your bfing, thats so good for them" or "whats this thing you have her in?" (my wrap, mt, etc) or just the basic stuff like "whats her name?" "how old is she?" "how much did she weigh?" I really dont even get werid comments when I awnser the 'standard' question "where did you have her?"

a good friend of mine who is preaty smart though has gotten some werid stuff from her mom that she useually runs by me because she knows I am better informed. things her mom has told her are:

"they _have_ to cut you to get the baby out"

"you can't bf if your baby gets sick, they will dehydrate, you have to give them pedialyite in bottles"

"bfing hurts"

"if you fall when pregnant you _have_ to go to the hospital to make sure the babys ok"

and something her sister said:
"you cant [bw] outside, youll drop the baby"


----------



## Thursday Girl

me "She's on a nursing strike"
mil "time to give her solids"

mil "all my kids had allergies so i had to give them soy milk" as infants!!!


----------



## 98741

At my ILs this weekend my FIL wanted to give 6.5M dd some icing. When I said no way, we aren't giving her sugar and she can't have that sort of thing he said "well, what mom doesn't know won't hurt her!" Well he just blew any chance of ever having dd visit them unsupervised! I said well I guess she won't get to come visit then and he blew it off like he was joking but he wasn't! He feels that he can do what ever he wants to/with her and if I don't like it then they'll hide it from me!







It makes me so angry! I'M HER







MOM! Geez!

They also want to have her spend the night with them. She is not even 7 months old, bfing, cosleeping and happily attached to dh and me. Yeah..uhhh....NO!

sorry, i'M a little bitter still


----------



## kgrfcharlton

WOW! After reading 11 pages, I had to bookmark it & read it later, but I wanted to post, b/c I remembered several lovley comments...

OK, when I was prego w/1st, I was normal sized, but had a HUGE belly & had gained a lot. I really looked like I was having twins. Well, 1) when dh was at IL's house w/o me, they had the nerve to say they were concerned that I was gaining too much weight!!! WHAT?! OK, & my poor dh was evidently not thinking clearly when he actually shared this w/me! I was SO UPSET! MIL actually had an OB that made her loose 2 lbs before her next prenatal visit, so they said that out of ignorance, but still - WISE UP!

Then 2) I was shopping when I was near my "due date" & this woman interupted the conversation I was in to ask when I was due. I think I had a couple weeks to go & she said "oh, you'll never make it" (I wents 5 days past EDD). Then she asked if I was having twins, no, "you're going to need a c-section then" UGG!!! I guess I'm not allowed to call her any names, but if I was allowed then I would call her a stupid, uneducated, Beotch!!!

When sil found out I was bf, she asked if I was going to use bottles to feed the baby (b/c ataching a baby to the breast would be so gross!)??? It's really just sad that bfing was so weird to her!

I was very upset when I had to have another section after 52 hours of labor (still am!), & I wanted to be double stiched - again. Well, I had a nurse that let me know that they double stiched me, but that it didn't really matter, b/c I wasn't safe to try for another VBAC! Thanks, for kicking me when I'm down!

Lastley, I had a friend that tried IVF, then adopted twin boys, then ended up having a little miracle baby girl. Well, her best friends DH asked her DH if they were going to try to have "their own" boy? He let them know that he already has his own boys!

This post has been the best!


----------



## guestmama9911

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kgrfcharlton*
Lastley, I had a friend that tried IVF, then adopted twin boys, then ended up having a little miracle baby girl. Well, her best friends DH asked her DH if they were going to try to have "their own" boy? He let them know that he already has his own boys!

We need a smilie with one slapping another. It is so awful when people try to invalidate adopted cuddlies. Here, this works


----------



## janerose

My IL's have suddenly decided that DD needs to wear "real shoes" instead of soft shoes. Um...OK. Apparently they feel that the soft shoes aren't protecting her feet enough when she's out walking around? DH told them they could go ahead & buy her hard soled shoes but he wasn't going to promise she'd ever wear them.

Oh, and about the adoption thing. We had tried for 5 years ttc DD. We got pregnant a few months after starting to gather our documents together for adopting. Several people made the "you must be so glad that you're able to have your own kid after all" comment.







: I just said that any child we adopted would always be as much "our own" kid as DD is and that we were still looking forward to adopting in the future at some point.

I won't even tell you about the comments I've gotten when I've mentioned to people that we've discussed stopping ttc #2 and just going straight to adopting.









Holly


----------



## mivey

me and ds, sil and her ds (3 weeks apart) were shopping and a lady asked if they were twins and we said no they are cousins she said (really hatefully as she was walking off) _I didn't think so_ me and sil were like well then why did you ask


----------



## 98741

I love my sister dearly but we have very different parenting styles. Her dd was 3.5 months old when she started rice cereal to get ther to sleep through the night. When I talked with her about this and that most docs recommend no solids until much closer to 6 months, atleast,she agreed that that is what her doc said. She reported she had decided to wait longer with this dd and not introduce solids until atleast 5 months. So she quit the cereal, right? Nope! Apparently cereal is not solid and doesn't count as "food". I had no response.......I was just amazing that my dear lovely sister could be so dense.


----------



## Thursday Girl

my step FIL (who is not allowed around my girls alone) cat called and whistled when i took my 3 year olds skirt off b/c she had gotten it wet in the pool. My mom and i are both very mad at ourselves for not saying anything. that mistake will not be made again.

my Dh made some stupid noise about me saying itwas fine if dd didn't ever take a bottle of EBM, i think to hint that i had some obsession about breastfeeding or something. i am not sure but will ask him about it when he gets home.

my sister said, after i congratulated her on how well she is doing putting my dd's prefolds on, "well i'm thinking about cloth diapering, but i'm not doing the breastfeeding thing" me "what breastfeeding thing?" sister says "i am only breastfeeding for three months, maybe six, but never in public"

courtney


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jewelysmommy*

my sister said, after i congratulated her on how well she is doing putting my dd's prefolds on, "well i'm thinking about cloth diapering, but i'm not doing the breastfeeding thing" me "what breastfeeding thing?" sister says "i am only breastfeeding for three months, maybe six, but never in public"

courtney

Well, some is better than none. Besides, a lot of moms start out saying "only for x amount of time" and end up going much longer, and NIP can be a scary thought if you've never breastfed before. She may come around, especially once she knows how easy nursing can be, as opposed to pumping, cleaning bottles, etc. The best thing you can do is to gracefully show herhow it's done without being *too* pushy (a little pushy is good sometimes







)


----------



## MissAbbyRosesMamma

a docter thought dd had an infection in her cheeks because they are so chubby and i said no, theyre always like that and he called a nurse in to confirm it. because i dont know what her cheeks look like.


----------



## minkajane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MissAbbyRosesMamma*
a docter thought dd had an infection in her cheeks because they are so chubby and i said no, theyre always like that and he called a nurse in to confirm it. because i dont know what her cheeks look like.


----------



## Titus2fam

Y'all have me in STITCHES! ROFLOL! HA HA HA HA HA!

My AuntIL told me that holding babies too much makes them sore. She also told me I shouldn't sit outside on the front porch so close to birthing (on a BEAUTIFUL April day) because my pores were still open.

My Mom thinks that giving children too much attention is bad parenting and is sure this is why my youngest son is high needs. Forget that I did the same things with my first two, and they're totally NOT high needs~LOL!

My darling's response to people is, "You can't spoil children~only food."

(((((HUGS))))) sandi


----------



## elmh23

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Titus2fam*
My AuntIL told me that holding babies too much makes them sore. She also told me I shouldn't sit outside on the front porch so close to birthing (on a BEAUTIFUL April day) because my pores were still open.

What happens when your pores close?


----------



## tash11

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sarahn4639*
.... Her dd was 3.5 months old when she started rice cereal to get ther to sleep through the night. .....

someone I know has been giving thier baby solids since about 3 or 4 months. she is about 6 or 7 months now and they are thinking of 'weaning' her. (she was never bf, they are just going to take away the formula). they said they are thinking of it because she like 'real' food better. I said 'well it prolly tastes better then formula.'

someone else I know has been giving her baby ice cream since a few months old. ICE CREAM. and the mother is lactose intolerent too.


----------



## guestmama9911

We recently let 6 months old DS try a marshmallow







: I'd be pissed if someone else gave him a marshmallow, though. I think it is rude to offer snacks to a child without the parents' explicit consent.


----------



## Corvus

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alisaterry*
We recently let 6 months old DS try a marshmallow







: I'd be pissed if someone else gave him a marshmallow, though. I think it is rude to offer snacks to a child without the parents' explicit consent.

Please take this in the helpful spirit in which it is intended: You really really should NOT give marshmallow to your baby! My dd is 3.5 YEARS old, and I still haven't let her have marshmallow.

It is a serious choking hazard and I have been told that, because it is so sticky, it cannot be dislodged using the Heimlich maneuver.


----------



## guestmama9911

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corvus*
Please take this in the helpful spirit in which it is intended: You really really should NOT give marshmallow to your baby! My dd is 3.5 YEARS old, and I still haven't let her have marshmallow.

It is a serious choking hazard and I have been told that, because it is so sticky, it cannot be dislodged using the Heimlich maneuver.

I hadn't thought about the stickiness - I guess it would be the same as peanut butter. Thank you for the advice. I really am normally quite good, bf on demand, etc. He has shown intense interest in solids but it's usually just little tastes of avacado, banana, applesauce or mango. Solids are very insignificant right now, but he giggles when he gets a taste. He loves tocopyus with the spoonor by pretend drinking out of a cup.

Anyway....







:


----------



## Thursday Girl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CryPixie83*
Well, some is better than none. Besides, a lot of moms start out saying "only for x amount of time" and end up going much longer, and NIP can be a scary thought if you've never breastfed before. She may come around, especially once she knows how easy nursing can be, as opposed to pumping, cleaning bottles, etc. The best thing you can do is to gracefully show herhow it's done without being *too* pushy (a little pushy is good sometimes







)

i agree, she has been very rude to me about breastfeeding my dd, especially when i was still doing it at 2 1/2, actually yelling at me really. and i was a mom who started out thinking one year, in fact i readily admit i thought it was weird when two year olds nursed, never knew that i would occasionally breastfeed a three year old.

courtney


----------



## Charles Baudelaire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sarahn4639*
He feels that he can do what ever he wants to/with her and if I don't like it then they'll hide it from me!







It makes me so angry! I'M HER







MOM! Geez!

If it makes you feel any better, my FIL was doing a lot of that...saying things like, "One of these days, I'm going to take you to the circus and we'll have some cotton candy and have a lot of fun, but it'll be our secret," or "Don't tell your mom, but when you're over at our house, I'll have to give you some {insert forbidden treat}."

It pissed me off on a number of registers:

1. How dare he suggest that anything in our family should be a "secret"?

2. How dare he portray me as the Evil Candy-Denying Mom of Bitchhood -- and himself as the Wonderful Grandpa of Gifts?

3. How dare he overstep what he knows are our restrictions on unnecessary candy and garbage?

I was so ticked off. Thankfully, DH -- making me love him even more -- told his dad to cut that out immediately.


----------



## 2swangirls

My Intrusive MIL comes by the house when DD is 5 days old. I pump right be for she gets here because I don't want to deal with BFing while she's here (long story there) and no baby is going to want to eat.

She's been here about an hour and baby is hung. I grab 4 OZ bottle from fridge and give it to DH hoping he will take and feed DD. He gives bottle to MIL so I know what's going to come out of her mouth (Keep in mind MIL knows I'm BFing) MIL HOLDS OUT BOTTLE With pointer and thumb (pincher grasp?) With a weird look on her face and say's

MIL : So is this BM
ME: Yes
MIL gets wide eyes like (WOW....they actually work) and says OH
To which I reply NO, it's bubbles...You should she when she S#!t's


----------



## 98741

Charles Baudelaire said:


> 1. How dare he suggest that anything in our family should be a "secret"?
> 
> 2. How dare he portray me as the Evil Candy-Denying Mom of Bitchhood -- and himself as the Wonderful Grandpa of Gifts?
> 
> 3. How dare he overstep what he knows are our restrictions on unnecessary candy and garbage?
> QUOTE]
> 
> Thank you, that says exactly how i feel about it. This will make it easier for me to CALMLY verbalize it to dh.


----------



## mollyeilis

*2swangirls*, that just sucks that your MIL is so intrusive that she basically forced you to do that at only 5 days old!









And I'd be LIVID if MIL fed my babe without my direct say-so. Actually, she wouldn't have, she would have handed it back. She barely wanted to hold DS in the hospital b/c she knew I hadn't yet. She kept handing him back to DH b/c she didn't feel it was OK (and my MIL is a TERROR, but not on that sort of thing, I guess).

Angry *for* you, that your MIL makes you change the way you're living your lives.


----------



## cjuniverse

I HAVE READ THE ENTIRE THREAD.

Whew.

A few from my family:

Grandma (as she attempts to calm my fussy son, who was "gassy" re: hungry and in the middle of a cluster feeding) "Maybe your milk's not satisfying him. Maybe it's time to start supplementing with formula." From a woman who is completely repulsed by breastfeeding and actually told me to "get the shot to dry it up and just give the baby a bottle, it's easier" when I was pregnant (first of all, the infamous 'shot' no longer exists, second, how in hell would you know from easier? You never even *tried* to breastfeed!) Projection/guilt much?

Dad (standing outside my hospital room as I nursed) "A father should never see his daughter do that". What? Feed his grandchild? Absurd. (He got over it when I made fun of him for not being able to 'handle a little boob')

Brother (oozing with bitter sarcasm) "You were going to try to have the baby at HOME?! HAHAHAHA! Glad I wasn't there or I would've called 911 and put you in the ambulance myself! You know you probably would've bled to death if you hadn't been in the hospital, right?" Riiiight. Like a grown man who's never lived on his own, never been in a relationship, and plays video games all day would know the first thing about it.

Stepmother (with a frustrated sigh) "Well, if he's any trouble, just hand him off to Grandma and Grandpa (herself and my father, who were in town to help out after he was born. To their credit, they were very helpful, but this comment really ticked me off because I had been so exhausted and spaced out after having my son that I'd hardly been able to hold or interact with him at all aside from feedings, and it made me feel bad for wanting to!).

Nurse in delivery room (after being a TOTAL B*TCH to me nearly the entire blessedly short time I was there) "Don't worry sweetie, I like you." What? Like I give a crap, lady. You're the one that should be looking for approval (outright forgiveness!) from ME, especially after being so incredibly mean and condescending, while I was in LABOR!

Pediatrician (at baby's first check-up) "He looks great. See you in two months, which is when the real fun starts! Baby shots!" Yeah, fun.

I'm only six weeks into my parenting journey, so I'm sure I'll have many more to add!


----------



## Titus2fam

Erin, I have no idea what happens when your pores close~I guess then it's SAFE to sit outside! LOL!

The marshmallow had me remembering a cookout with a friend who couldn't BELIEVE that our baby was nine months old and hadn't had solid food. She said he wouldn't learn how to eat~LOL~so then she GAVE HIM a piece of watermelon on the sly! OH I was SO MAD! He choked, and I just told her that I respect her parenting wishes~please also respect mine. (((((HUGS))))) sandi


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sarahn4639*

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Charles Baudelaire*
2. How dare he portray me as the Evil Candy-Denying Mom of Bitchhood -- and himself as the Wonderful Grandpa of Gifts?

Thank you, that says exactly how i feel about it. This will make it easier for me to CALMLY verbalize it to dh.

I wonder how the FIL's would feel if, when your kids are a bit older, you were to say things like "don't worry sweetie, Grandpa doesn't hate you, he just thinks candy is good"

Oh and if your pores close, you die.


----------



## Shenjall

Quote:

I wonder how the FIL's would feel if, when your kids are a bit older, you were to say things like "don't worry sweetie, Grandpa doesn't hate you, he just thinks candy is good"
Oooooh! Thats gooood! I think I may modify that one to use on my mom!


----------



## Mama8

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan*
Oh and if your pores close, you die.









:

True but oh my gosh!







:


----------



## FarmerCathy

This is too funny! I'm only on page 40,but had to add my own which might have already been said, but here goes.....

I went to a friends a couple of weeks ago who is majorly mainstream even said she couldn't bf b/c it hurt too much and this after just two days of bfing.







Duh! Then she asked me the very popular ? of

her:does your baby sleep at night?
me:Yes, but wakes only to nurse 2-3 times and goes right back to sleep.
her: Oh, well you know you can stop them from doing that it takes 2-3 nights, but they will stop asking for it
me(thinking) : make him scream for hunger?!?!?!?!
her : my doctor said that after awhile they just wake up at night thinking they are hungry






















me(thinking) : wouldn't they just sleep through that feeding if they weren't hungry?!?!?!?

No sense in trying to talk to her about it b/c she thinks so strongly that she is right. Just like when I told her we were having a homebirth. She's a major stress case.

Here's another conversation:
Her:didn't he just eat? My baby eats every two hours
me:yes, but he eats all the time. If he asks I feed him
me (thinking):no pacifiers here thanks, but didn't want to hear her speal on that either.

And another:

her:if we have another there is no way I'm going through that pain again, I will have a planned c-section








me(thinking): oh brother, what has this world come to. Yes, I would like to have a better chance of dying b/c I planned my birth by c-section than to have it vaginally. (no offense to anyone who had to plan a c-section for health reasons.)
me:holding my tongue, b/c this is a losing battle


----------



## umsami

A pediatrician told me that I should only breastfeed for 10 minutes each breast... after that the baby was just "using me for comfort." I thought, but didn't say (had already decided to find a new ped), "Isn't that what I'm supposed to do? Comfort my baby. He's only 3 weeks old."

My Mom always says I'm spoiling my son by picking him up. He's 8 months old. I say, "You can't spoil a baby.... and if he ends up in Juvy (Juvenille Hall) , you can tell me "you told me so" then." I also say, "But why would God design babies to be so cuddly??? Surely we're supposed to pick them up."


----------



## starbound25

when my first DD was maybe two months old I was in the mall with her a woman stopped to look at her and said how cute she was and then looked at her hands I guess she noticed the babies nails were a little on the long side and she said to me
"oh you have trouble cutting her nails dont you"
WHAT??? I was so pissed yes her nails needed to be cut but I didnt have a problem with it??
grr people need to shut their mouths, that comment still makes me mad 3 yrs later LOL


----------



## PMolly

Quote:


Originally Posted by *umsami*
I also say, "But why would God design babies to be so cuddly??? Surely we're supposed to pick them up."









I LOVE this response!


----------



## FarmerCathy

From the same mom I posted about.

I told her not to eat too much sugar(she owns a Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory), she says "oh, I won't." Then later in our conversation she says she eats Lucky Charms for breakfast.














Oh, and while I was at her baby shower I find out one of her cravings was Fruit Loops.

And another, she said when she's nauseas she eats a lot of soup. Then she goes on to tell me she gets those Cup O' Noodles. Ummm... Cup O' Toxic Waste. That'll be good to grow a baby on.


----------



## boingo82

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cathysteck*
From the same mom I posted about.

I told her not to eat too much sugar(she owns a Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory), she says "oh, I won't." Then later in our conversation she says she eats Lucky Charms for breakfast.














Oh, and while I was at her baby shower I find out one of her cravings was Fruit Loops.

And another, she said when she's nauseas she eats a lot of soup. Then she goes on to tell me she gets those Cup O' Noodles. Ummm... Cup O' Toxic Waste. That'll be good to grow a baby on.































:
Guilty of growing a baby on all 3 of those things.


----------



## Bennifer

I have a friend who insists that after 7 months babies don't need to nurse at night...they are only waking for comfort.







She keeps telling me this b/c my son wakes tons at night and is much older than that--somehow I just don't agree that comfort is any less important than nutrition!!


----------



## roseselene

Quote:


Originally Posted by *boingo82*







:
Guilty of growing a baby on all 3 of those things.

yeah, me too.
Amy


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *boingo82*







:
Guilty of growing a baby on all 3 of those things.









I grew/grow them on McD's , chocolate no-bake oatmeal cookies, mac and cheese w/hot dogs, ovalteen, tuna helper, starbucks white mochas, ho-hos, a ton of ice, etc etc.... occasionally I eat healthy foods....







I eat what I crave... that's the reason I make sure to take my vitamins


----------



## ndunn

Ok I have a few

1. A guy I know said that his wife will have a good labour because she had no morning sickness.....I didn't even bother informing him that the two have nothing to do with one another.
2. Same woman (after her unnecessary c-section) tells me she has to bottle feed because her baby was 2.5 weeks early and 6 pounds. The bottle has breastmilk in it but still its unnecessary and she seems to think that because the doctor told her to do it then its right
3. I got the same thing about the fingernails! My dd's grow like an inch every day so they always look long and some lady told me my daughter will poke her own eye out of I don't watch it
4. some crazy old lady told me that my daughters head was being traumitized in the sling I was wearing and proceeded to try and dig her hand in there and move it ( I ofcourse jumped about 5 feet backwards and said something rude to her)
5. Someone told me its the "21st" century now and breastfeeding is old
6. Some lady said pushing was too "primal" for her

I could go on.......

oh yes, someone said i must have good geenes if I had a successful homebirth and good labour. I'm like, ok again, the two have not alot to do with oneanother.


----------



## Einhorn

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ndunn*
Ok I have a few

3. I got the same thing about the fingernails! My dd's grow like an inch every day so they always look long and some lady told me my daughter will poke her own eye out of I don't watch it

Not that it's quite the same thing, but our (wonderful) Nanny had eye surgery earlier this spring to correct the scaring on her eye from an infection that scabbed when she was very young (no one knows how the scratch happened).

Scratches to the eyes do happen, and can have very long term consequences. I'm guilty of not trimming nails as often as I should, but I'm trying to do better, partly because of this, as I worry he might scratch his eye.


----------



## kater07

I honestly can't remember if I've posted this, but SEVERAL, not ONE, but SEVERAL really old ladies (80s, 90s maybe) have asked me if my kids are siblings. When I said, "YES", they've GASPED out loud and said in a very you-must-be-a-slut tone, "Do they have the same fffaaather?"

My kids look NOTHING alike. One would never guess they were siblings if DS wasn't constantly announcing "this pretty little girly is my sister!" But to ASK ME about their father? DS is DH's mini-me, and DD is mine!


----------



## nikirj

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kater07*
My kids look NOTHING alike. One would never guess they were siblings if DS wasn't constantly announcing "this pretty little girly is my sister!" But to ASK ME about their father? DS is DH's mini-me, and DD is mine!

Yeah, mine have that same thing going on. DS looks just like DH, is dark haired, eyed, and skinned, and both my DDs are quite fair, blue eyed, and have light brown/blondish/reddish hair. DS is different from the girls in everything from skin color to skeletal frame to size. But well, yeah, of course they are all from the same father. Genetics are lovely that way. We're both mixed so we can produce both extremes as well as the middle ground.

It doesn't help that my 4yo and 6yo look like they're too close in age to be siblings anyway.

I never had any question on the matter when I lived in Hawaii (where we mutts were pretty common) but I've had a couple questions here in Washington, although they were all 'innocent.' As 'innocent' as such an insulting assumption can be anyway.


----------



## Manda316

my MIL told me that I need to take my hands and put them around ds neck and stretch it out or he wont have a neck

she told me I need to tie his legs together so he doesnt go bolegged

I do not put mittens on his hands hes 3 months old however everytime I come home from her watching him he has mittens on she is scared he is still going to scratch himself.

the ped I see says at 2 months old he needs apple juice for more vitamins I hate when peds tell you what to do when it worked for their child not everyone elses. IF IT AINT BROKE DONT FIX IT!

My mil insists that my ds will tell me when he needs to poop and pee and wont be wearing a diaper after 6 months

She tells me that I need to point his pee pee up so that it doesnt grow in between his legs

She told me that I need to IRON his clothes or he will break out

Oh and this is funny when ds grew out of his infant clothing I gave her the clothes to give away so she cuts all the feet off of them and sews extensions on them so that he can wear him however she didnt think that his torso gets longer toooooooooooo.

They will not let me buy a mattress or sheets they insist on making it even though everytime they make it it doesnt fit or its wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy toooo soft.

She insists on buying my son clothes that have pink kitties on them and toddler size hats that she just sews the back of it up so that it will appear to fit my son even though it still looks ridiculous.


----------



## boingo82

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Manda316*
my MIL told me that I need to take my hands and put them around ds neck and stretch it out or he wont have a neck

she told me I need to tie his legs together so he doesnt go bolegged
..
She tells me that I need to point his pee pee up so that it doesnt grow in between his legs
..

Yikes, you are lucky your dh survived!


----------



## jayayenay

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Manda316*
My mil insists that my ds will tell me when he needs to poop and pee and wont be wearing a diaper after 6 months.

While I agree some of her other comments are a *bit* out there







, this one is pretty reasonable. My 5-month-old does still wear a diaper, but he definitely tells me when he has to go to the bathroom and I take him to the potty. It's amazing and SO wonderful! My goal is not to keep him out of diapers, but to listen to his communication and meet his needs. Check out the Elimination Communication forum here for more info!


----------



## crbyard

I had a very nice, well-meaning person make the following comment:

"So, I assume you're doing the (while he cups his imaginary breast) feeding thing."

"Yes."

"Oh, that's great, that's great. My daughter in law did, too. We just didn't have that in my day."










It may not have been mainstream, but I'm _pretty sure_ they had 'em!


----------



## ripcurlgirl26

Besides the standard "Is he a good baby" and "does he sleep through the night" questions, which are beyond annoying...

When I told people we were going to CD, we got "we'll see how long that lasts" all the time, accompanied with smirks and rolling eyes. I'm not really one for sharp remarks, but I always told them that it would last until DS was potty trained!

A couple weeks ago when I was at the store, the cashier asked me how old DS was while he was sleeping in the sling. I said 2.5 months and proudly added in that he was nursing (DH gets annoyed that I'm so proud that I have to announce it, but why not?) And she asks, "You give him cereal too, right?"







:

And my mother, insisting that I shove a pacifier in DS's mouth! "He has a strong urge to suck, he neeeeeeeds a pacifier." Give me a break. I'm his pacifier!


----------



## Manda316

When smiles in sleep means hes seeing angels

After 40 days cut childs fingernails and put them in your wallet and you will always have money

Don't kiss his feet or he will walk later

Don't kiss his neck or he will be stuck up

If he twitches in his sleep put a knife and scissors under his mattress

When he is awake suddenly spray him with cold water and it takes his fears away

If there is a funeral in the neighborhood take all the babies out so they can see the funerals so all the sickness and fears go to the grave


----------



## mollyeilis

I think maybe Armenian traditions are scarier than Korean traditions..._whimper whimper..._


----------



## Manda316

lol yeah I hear them all day long ive heard alot more just still thinking about them. The rule here is 40 days for everything! No soap, no visitors, no going outside no nothing until after 40 days I really think Armenians are just really bored so they try to make life interesting by making up these crazy traditions.


----------



## janerose

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Manda316*

Don't kiss his feet or he will walk later


OMG if this was true my DD would still not be walking at 20 months!







Seriously, I LOVE baby feet & must still kiss her little todder toes at least once a day. I can't even count how many times DH & I kissed and played with her feet as a baby.







:

Holly


----------



## StrawberryFields

I don't think I ever posted the worst advice anyone told me but here it goes. I was having a discussion with MIL about how we aren't vaxing Andrew and it wandered into how many vaccines babies get today and how they get sooo many more than they did when I was a baby and when she and my mom were babies. MIL said, "Well, you have to understand that there are a lot more diseases today than there were back then."

Sooo exactly which diseases are new? Measles? Mumps? Chicken Pox? Meningitis? Oh wait, maybe she meant Polio. Sigh.


----------



## artgoddess

Quote:


Originally Posted by *StrawberryFields*
I don't think I ever posted the worst advice anyone told me but here it goes. I was having a discussion with MIL about how we aren't vaxing Andrew and it wandered into how many vaccines babies get today and how they get sooo many more than they did when I was a baby and when she and my mom were babies. MIL said, "Well, you have to understand that there are a lot more diseases today than there were back then."

Sooo exactly which diseases are new? Measles? Mumps? Chicken Pox? Meningitis? Oh wait, maybe she meant Polio. Sigh.

She meant the disease most common to pharmaceutical company CEO's called greed.


----------



## StrawberryFields

Quote:


Originally Posted by *artgoddess*
She meant the disease most common to pharmaceutical company CEO's called greed.











And really, I don't mind a good discussion and I'm glad to hear other opinions but comments like that just make me go







. You know it was completely made up on the spot!


----------



## MommyofPunkiePie

I heard an OMG one today from a local Mama. She was in the hospital after the birth of her DS and she refused the Hep B shot. She asked the nurse if she thought her son would be using IV needles or having unprotected sex in the near future. The nurse said something like "Your son is going to need a blood transfusion and get Hep B and die. All because you wouldn't get him his shot."







:























And if that wasn't bad enough, she got Hep B confused with Hep C.


----------



## ewe+lamb

Have really enjoyed this thread - or what I have managed to read - gives a little giggle in the middle of the day.









The strangest one I got from a doctor about Vit D - everyone gives it here - I said no, I just take my kids outside for a couple of hours everyday and it'll be fine, the dr replied but in the winter the Vit D from sunlight will just stay on her face and hands?!?!?!?! No comeback - I was too shocked that this actually came from a doctor







: .


----------



## grumpyshoegirl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Manda316*
When smiles in sleep means hes seeing angels

My mom says this one.....I always thought it was cute!

Most of the worst offenses come from my MIL, or came from my late Nana.

MIL:
You can't breastfeed her forever.
Breastfeeding for six months is just an ideal.
If she's not getting enough breastmilk you'll have to start her on solids.
(At one month old) Is she on a schedule yet?
(When she's crying) You should just put her down.
(Before I gave birth and numerous times since) You'll never last with breastfeeding. It's really hard. (Um, yeah it was thanks to my nasty inverted nipples but the work was worth it you b*#&$.)

Nana:
If the baby's crying give her paregoric.
I had natural childbirth so they gave me ether. (Maybe she's confusing natural with vaginal?)
Breastmilk has cholesterol in it and that's what gives the baby colic. (Note: my EBF daughter has never had colic. She hardly even cries.)
Why don't you give her some pasta?

Out in public I do get the good-baby and sleeping questions, but mainly I get a lot of smiles and positive questions/comments about the sling and NIP. I've never once been harassed about NIP, but I do live in one of the most liberal states in the US.


----------



## MelissaEvans

DS2 was born at home, but I lost a lot of blood and was transfered to the hospital.

In the ambulance, they decided to change from hospital A to hospital B. DH is following in the car.
Me: Someone told DH, right?
EMT: Yes
later, driving
Me: DH is following, right?
EMT: Yes
Um, no. No one told DH so he ended up at the wrong hospital. We were both ticked. I know I'm blonde, "weird" for having my baby at home, and fainted earlier; but I was very coherant!

ER OB: Give her Pitocin and Cytotec
Me: No Cytotec (repeated 4 times to get someone's attention)
ER OB: Why not? (shocked and annoyed at me for questioning her)
Me: Because I'm a VBAC and I don't want my uterus to rupture.
ER OB: Oh.

DS had a compound presentation - his hand was up by his ear. Go ahead try it... see where your elbow goes? I tore really bad! The blood loss was due to the tear, not my uterus which made me feel much better. My scar held out through 38 hours of labor! =)

We have Kaiser, so once I was stable I got to go to the Kaiser hospital. In all honesty, they were great. There was no hostility at all which was a pleasant surprise being a homebirth transfer. It was kinda cute actually. When I was being discharged the nurse is telling me "in six weeks, visit with your OB... or... whatever." She knew full well that's not the route I was going, but my midwife was coming to visit the next day. It's not like I wasn't getting care.

They asked about DS1 who was 10lbs 2oz c/sec (and I'm pretty sure it wasn't necessary). DS2 was 8lbs 9oz, still no lightweight. Learning DS2's size a nurse commented that "it's a good thing I was build for birthing." It felt good, being acknowledged that my body does work. I just wish DS1's nurses had a similar philosophy. Then this nurse commented that it was a good thing DS1 was c/sec because of shoulder dysocia problems. I asked if she had heard of the Gaskin maneurver (mom gets on her hands and knees I think, I read enough to know it exsists but not much more than that). She dodged the question and said they usually have to break baby's bones to get baby out. When I got home I realized their epidural rate is huge, like 90% + (one more reason I paid for a homebirth rather than go there!). If mom's numb, of course she can't move to her hands and knees so this nurse has probably never really had a chance to use the Gaskin concept.

Now I just get curious questions about if I'm glad I chose a homebirth and if I'd do it again. Yes and yes! I know DS2 would have been another c/sec in a hospital setting, without my awesome support.


----------



## Starr

"Does she speak spanish?"

Asked after we brought our daughter home from Guatemala at 4 months.







My answer, "Yes, fluently"


----------



## nubianamy

My mom told me about her mom (who died when my mom was in her 20s, so I never met her, but she had 9 kids)'s weirdest parenting "technique": when her sister Annie would have temper tantrums, her mom would throw a cup of cold water in her face.







:


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nubianamy*
My mom told me about her mom (who died when my mom was in her 20s, so I never met her, but she had 9 kids)'s weirdest parenting "technique": when her sister Annie would have temper tantrums, her mom would throw a cup of cold water in her face.







:

I'm sorry, I have to laugh at this. One of my favorite childhood stories is when my pampered, bratty cousin (majorly spoiled, no joke) was I dunno, 4 years old? My grandma was watching her and my mother and I (I was like 2) were there. My cousin was throwing one of those "I will do whatever the hell I want" fits and decided she was going to scream at the top of her lungs and not stop. Grandma asked her to stop. Scream. Grandma says "Becky, you need to stop screaming now." Scream. Grandma walks to the sink, turns on the cold tap and lets it run to get nice and chilled. Fills a small glass with water, turns off the tap and says "Becky, I'm going to ask you one more time: please stop screaming" Louder, higher pitched screaming. SPLOOSH! *sputter*cough*sputter*

Maybe you just have to know my perfect, spoiled rotten cousin to understand what an awesome story that is. Of course it was far better than my mother's method, which would have been to slap her across the face.

It's definately not something I would do unless I really needed a child to stop screaming (ever have those days where you don't know whether to scream, cry or just throw your own tantrum? Yep, that's when I would do that as a last resort).


----------



## ACsMom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Starr*
"Does she speak spanish?"

Asked after we brought our daughter home from Guatemala at 4 months.







My answer, "Yes, fluently"









:

I love your response!


----------



## pjlioness

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CryPixie83*
It's definately not something I would do unless I really needed a child to stop screaming....

Please do try to figure out what the problem is, and walk away before you actually get to the point of throwing cold water at a child, no matter what. It's a pretty nasty punishment. Your cousin may have been a terror, but it wasn't her fault. Some empathy/understanding would have done much more for her.


----------



## CryPixie83

pjlioness said:


> CryPixie83 said:
> 
> 
> 
> It's definately not something I would do unless I really needed a child to stop screaming....
> 
> Quote:
> 
> 
> Please do try to figure out what the problem is, and walk away before you actually get to the point of throwing cold water at a child, no matter what. It's a pretty nasty punishment. Your cousin may have been a terror, but it wasn't her fault. Some empathy/understanding would have done much more for her.
> I totally agree... like I said, the only way I would do that would be if I were having one of those "mama is this close to losing it" days, where the alternative would be things like screaming, punishing, even spanking (because this is an impulse I struggle with when I'm extrememly overwhelmed). Definately not something I'd do casually.
Click to expand...


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *grumpyshoegirl*
Nana:
Breastmilk has cholesterol in it and that's what gives the baby colic.

Hmmm, so only vegans are never cranky?


----------



## corwinegall

I get the sleeping question a LOT, its weird. I'm not bothered by it so much, but I am really worried that when I get older I'm going to start asking that question, that subconsciously its sinking in that its something you're supposed to ask strangers with babies.


----------



## boingo82

Quote:


Originally Posted by *corwinegall*
I get the sleeping question a LOT, its weird. I'm not bothered by it so much, but I am really worried that when I get older I'm going to start asking that question, that subconsciously its sinking in that its something you're supposed to ask strangers with babies.

I think on most of the dumb baby questions (does he sleep well, is he "good", etc) people are just looking for something to say, a common topic that works for all babies.


----------



## mollyeilis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Starr*
"Does she speak spanish?"

Asked after we brought our daughter home from Guatemala at 4 months.







My answer, "Yes, fluently"

You know, I actually understand that one. She'd had Spanish, I assume, spoken to her since she was born, and I feel that a 4 month old does get used to words being spoken. So while of course she wasn't *speaking* it, there's a level of understanding there.

That said, DS had this weird magical understanding of Korean words spoken to him by his grandmother, even on the first time hearing them. It was wild. We'd say something to him and he wouldn't respond, then she'd say it in Korean and he would do what she said (not just a response indicating he'd heard her etc)...I think "give that to me" was the first example of it, when he had something he shouldnt' have. This was not at 4 months, but early enough that it made an impression.


----------



## Dido

Our landlord: What baby you have, boy or girl?

Me: Girl.

Landlord (disappointed): Oh, well. You can try again.


----------



## weliveintheforest

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nubianamy*
My mom told me about her mom (who died when my mom was in her 20s, so I never met her, but she had 9 kids)'s weirdest parenting "technique": when her sister Annie would have temper tantrums, her mom would throw a cup of cold water in her face.







:









My Mum told me once my grandmother dumped a whole BUCKET of cold water on my aunt, for not doing what she was told.
Makes me want to cry even imagining it







:


----------



## pjlioness

Quote:


Originally Posted by *weliveintheforest*







My Mum told me once my grandmother dumped a whole BUCKET of cold water on my aunt, for not doing what she was told.
Makes me want to cry even imagining it







:

My mom occasionally threw a cup of cold water on me in the morning if I didn't get up when she told me to (after a few tries). I felt so ashamed and angry when she did that. I guess that's why I don't see it as any kind of reasonable technique.


----------



## hsingmamato3

My mom was trying to toilet train my oldest brother (he's now 35) when he was small and my dad's SIL said "I can make him go!!" and poured cold water on his penis while he sat there to "make him go" Apparently it was weeks before my mom could get him to go NEAR the bathroom after that!

For us, when we told people we were expecting a boy (we have 3 girls too) I hear "oh so now you can stop having kids!" more times than I can count! Like the only reason we had girl #2 and 3 was hoping for "one with a penis" ??!?!?!?! ARGH!







:


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pjlioness*
My mom occasionally threw a cup of cold water on me in the morning if I didn't get up when she told me to (after a few tries). I felt so ashamed and angry when she did that. I guess that's why I don't see it as any kind of reasonable technique.

While that was just cruel, wiping your face with a cool or cold damp cloth is a really great way to wake up those times when you've had enough sleep, but your eyeballs still feel tired.


----------



## AutumnMama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *weliveintheforest*







My Mum told me once my grandmother dumped a whole BUCKET of cold water on my aunt, for not doing what she was told.
Makes me want to cry even imagining it







:

DH and I had some friends when we were still just dating who would put their 2 year old little girl in a cold shower (with all her clothes on) when she wouldn't stop tantruming








They actually did it one evening when we were at their house.


----------



## dnr3301

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ripcurlgirl26*
And my mother, insisting that I shove a pacifier in DS's mouth! "He has a strong urge to suck, he neeeeeeeds a pacifier." Give me a break. I'm his pacifier!

If your ds has a strong need to suck and wants a pacifier, believe me, he will let you know. My ds would suck long enough to bring the milk down, then squirm away and push my breast away as the milk poured out of me. All he wanted was the suck.


----------



## EmPaige

ok - not nearly as bad as some but seemed really bad at the time for me...

my MIL and I had a great relationship before our first child was born. after Eva was born it seemed everything changed. My MIL and I just have very different philosophies on parenting...

a few days after birth, my husbands family came to stay with us for a few days to see Eva. I was still feeling so tired, fat, gross etc...MIL was taking pictures of our daughter and then proceeded to turn to take some pictures of me too, I asked her not to and she took them anyway. I was emotional at the time and didn't want to say something that I would later regret. She says to me "you _need_ pictures with her, she's your _daughter_."








I was like "yes, I know she's my daughter, I think we'll probably end up in some pictures together!" I just couldn't imagine me unslep, unshowered, with a leaked on tshirt - being th ephoto to end up on the mantel.

a few days later i was still have a lot of difficulty getting Eva to latch on due to flat nipples. I spent so long everyday just working with her to achieve a latch. My MIL asked if we were going to use a pacifier. I told her that I didn't know bu definitely not well until after bfing was established. A few minutes later I walked in the room to find her putting a pacifier in my daughters mouth. I was stunned! I grabbed it and walked out of the room. I was almost in tears, I had been working so hard and for NO REASON she was completely undermining all that I had done. I don't even think Eva was fussing!

Then when Eva was about 3 months old we were out to breakfast with my MIL and she grabbed Eva's pacifier and dipped it in syrup and went to stick it in her mouth. I grabbed it and just looked at her and said "Are you serious?"

I realize that these are actually stupis things that she did and didn't actually share but i figured, close enough.









the thing that makes me so mad is that i want to trust her. she always talks about wanting to take the kids to stay with her but i can't really consider it when she so obviously doesn't respect us enough to honor our (my) wishes. it just feels like this power struggle.


----------



## guestmama9911

Quote:


Originally Posted by *EmPaige*
a few days later i was still have a lot of difficulty getting Eva to latch on due to flat nipples. I spent so long everyday just working with her to achieve a latch. My MIL asked if we were going to use a pacifier. I told her that I didn't know bu definitely not well until after bfing was established. A few minutes later I walked in the room to find her putting a pacifier in my daughters mouth. I was stunned! I grabbed it and walked out of the room. I was almost in tears, I had been working so hard and for NO REASON she was completely undermining all that I had done. I don't even think Eva was fussing!









I don't think those are minor concerns. I had a hard time latching on DS and if someone had interfered with that it would have really made me hurt and angry. That shows a serious lack of compassion.


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alisaterry*
I don't think those are minor concerns. I had a hard time latching on DS and if someone had interfered with that it would have really made me hurt and angry. That shows a serious lack of compassion.









: It also sounds like MIL is uneducated about breastfeeding (or at least the difficulties that can arise).


----------



## EmPaige

oh yah -

and when we were trying to pick a name for our first we let everyone give us input - SO STUPID of me!

when we were pretty set on Eva (pronounced like Ava) my sister said to me -
"over my dead body." who says that???

so we immediately decided that that was the name!









my sister is still living and we asked nobodies advice when naming our son!


----------



## dogmama

This happened this morning at work. I just finished pumping, and saw an acquaintance. He asked me how old my baby is, 5 months, then he asked me if I'm pumping the milk so I can sell it. Whaaat? Yes, I'm getting fabulously rich by having my baby get formula at daycare while I pump mik to sell it.


----------



## Manda316

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dogmama*
This happened this morning at work. I just finished pumping, and saw an acquaintance. He asked me how old my baby is, 5 months, then he asked me if I'm pumping the milk so I can sell it. Whaaat? Yes, I'm getting fabulously rich by having my baby get formula at daycare while I pump mik to sell it.

now thats funny!







:


----------



## Starr

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dogmama*
This happened this morning at work. I just finished pumping, and saw an acquaintance. He asked me how old my baby is, 5 months, then he asked me if I'm pumping the milk so I can sell it. Whaaat? Yes, I'm getting fabulously rich by having my baby get formula at daycare while I pump mik to sell it.

You should have told him where do you think you've been getting the creamer here at work?


----------



## EmPaige

Quote:

It also sounds like MIL is uneducated about breastfeeding (or at least the difficulties that can arise).
well, she actually BF and was there the whole time i was working so hard at it...i don't want to think that she wanted me to fail...

i thought of another thing...

all the time when i was pregnant with my first people would tell me how hard parenting is and tell my all the difficulties etc...
why do people feel the need to do that?

whenever i see pregnant people now i always tell them how wonderful it is to be a parent, how our kids have changed our lives so much...for the better!


----------



## Aeriane

5 pages of it!!! hahahaaa

dumb thing said to me:

ex mother-in-law used to tell me "only animals breastfeed" or "it's umm I don't know...UNNATURAL" I almost killed her. LOL Then with second baby she'd roll her eyes "oh no...here we go again" (then she'd get disgusted and go outside for a good old healthy smoke...) With the 3rd I had to go back to work and *sob* went to bottle and she said "Oh thank god, no more hanging out like an old cow" ok can I kill her NOW????

Such tact...such grace....

My own mother thought babies should teeth on stewed beef bones with a bit of meat still on it "for flavor"

Suprised I"m alive....


----------



## mollyeilis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *EmPaige*
well, she actually BF and was there the whole time i was working so hard at it...i don't want to think that she wanted me to fail...

Well, I think it's just that some people don't have problems, or don't nurse long enough to have problems, or if they do have problems don't mind supplementing or putting on a schedule, etc. And some babies have NO problem with pacifiers and nursing.

The problem might just be that she can't figure that other people have different situations and different babies than hers.

Take my stepmom. She had three kids, nursed the first two until they were each 2, then her daughter insisted on going to beyond 4. She never had problems, nursed them when she and they needed, it was all very simple for her. When she comes across people with problems, she gets frustrated b/c she wants to just say "just NURSE, it's really simple!"

Now, she comes across people with problems ALL the time, as she is a NICU nurse (went through prereqs and nursing school while first pregnant then with a newborn/infant/early toddler = my half-sis...so she even knows nursing while working, going to class, and studying!). Her solution is just to shut up. I suggested she become a breastfeeding helping sort of nurse at her hospital, but despite the extra pay it would bring (along with her RIDICULOUSLY high salary for TWO days of work a week) she realizes she's of NO help in those situations b/c she'll want to just put baby in mama's arms, leave them alone, and assume they'll work it out. She recognizes that that doesn't always help.

Seems to me that your MIL hasn't learned that about herself and others. I wonder if you could bring up "your friend's stepmother" to your MIL, and see if she could get anything extrapolated about herself...hmm.....


----------



## pjlioness

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Aeriane*
My own mother thought babies should teeth on stewed beef bones with a bit of meat still on it "for flavor"

Suprised I"m alive....

Well, bones are actually not that bad for teething, as long as the baby is old enough for meat.


----------



## elmh23

Quote:


Originally Posted by *EmPaige*
oh yah -

and when we were trying to pick a name for our first we let everyone give us input - SO STUPID of me!

when we were pretty set on Eva (pronounced like Ava) my sister said to me -
"over my dead body." who says that???

so we immediately decided that that was the name!









my sister is still living and we asked nobodies advice when naming our son!

LOL, when I was pregnant we didn't know if dd was a boy or girl. We let everyone know the names we picked out and while everyone LOVED the girls name, everyone HATED the boys name. Ok, fine, I don't care. But my MIL's insistance that we never name a boy that because it's not a Christian name, just made me want to use it more. We had a girl. MIL is still so against the name, I'm hopeing for a boy next time just to piss her off with us using the name! Totally backfired on her!


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *elmh23*
But my MIL's insistance that we never name a boy that because it's not a Christian name, just made me want to use it more. We had a girl. MIL is still so against the name, I'm hopeing for a boy next time just to piss her off with us using the name! Totally backfired on her!

Sooooo, what's the name?


----------



## BethSLP

A friend of mine who is single and childless was talking to me on the phone when I was pregnant with my daughter. She randomly said "just promise me you'll quit breastfeeding when the kid has teeth!" I was like "you do realize that babies start getting teeth at 6 months old, right?"

shows how little she knows about kids! even the AAP suggests breastfeeding until 1 year. not even mainstream people think thats weird.

made me realize too how people throw shade at breastfeeding mamas....they have NO CLUE what they are talking about most of the time.

I explained to her that and that I feel fine about breastfeeding until 2 (or longer if it feels right for me and my baby) and told her the health benefits etc. She's a really cool girl, but just made some crazy assumption without knowing the facts...

XOXO
B


----------



## janerose

Just saw someones post about how a family member was like, "You're not naming your kid that!" Um....yeah...BTDT....

DD's name is Emilia. It is pronounced like Amelia, but with an "eh" sound at the start instead of an "uh" sound. We call her Emi 90% of the time & have since we found out her gender before she was born.

My SIL didn't actually SAY anything about the name, but at our baby shower the spelled the name Amelia on all the stuff she gave. No biggie...it's a little different so we just figured she didn't realize how we were spelling it. DH nicely mentioned it to her & we figured that would be the end.

Well, fast forward a couple months to the hospital after DD was born. SIL & the IL's were visiting & brought gifts. Lo & behold EVERY thing SIL had written on said "Amelia". This time *I* corrected her (and not as nicely as my DH had







). She basically said, "Yeah, I know that's the way it's spelled, but I don't like it and it's a stupid way to spell it, so I'm spelling it the other way..."

Once again...um....NO! I also told her that she could start spelling/pronouncing DD's name correctly or I would gladly start calling her "Kirsten" instead of "Kiersten" since frankly I like Kirsten more.

FWIW, she hasn't done it since!









Holly


----------



## minkajane

I got a couple of dumb ones the other day.

"In this day and age, formula is just as good as breastfeeding." Uh, no it's not.

"I'm a big fan of circumcision." I guess she meant that she likes the way a cut penis looks more, but I VERY much doubt she's ever seen an intact penis.

I let her know just exactly how ridiculous she was being on both accounts. Thankfully, she has no kids and is not planning any. She's the type of person to do whatever everybody else does or whichever way she thinks is easiest for HER, no matter how hard it is on the baby.


----------



## JamieCatheryn

Saw a friend from college the other day, he asked about ds, 2 months old, "So, is he walking yet?"


----------



## Jmkteach

These are hysterical...I'll have to go back and read them all later. I only got through a couple pages.

Okay, here's mine.

About 3 days after bringing DS home from the hospital, this girl I grew up with ~ who isn't married and doesn't have kids (yet) and is extremely competitive and wants everything I have ~ came up to Nate's nursery with me while I nursed him. I was extremely awkward, because we were both still "learning" and didn't want to nurse in front of her fiance. (sp) I didn't mind her coming up and keeping me company...but then she asks me :

"So when he nurses does it feel...sexual? Because I know when Lenny sucks on my boobs I get turned on."

Seriously? I looked at her and said ~ "I'm so worried that he's latched on and sucking and getting enough to eat that "sexual" hasn't once crossed my mind. But thanks for bringing it up..."

Wow...all I can say is Wow. She has told me that she is going to bottle feed her babies so that Lenny can share the responsibilities. I didn't bother to try to change her mind too much. I just told her that it's proven that mamma's milk is best for babies.


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jmkteach*

"So when he nurses does it feel...sexual? Because I know when Lenny sucks on my boobs I get turned on."

Right, because we all know that not one single part of the human body can be multi-purpose







:


----------



## elmh23

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CryPixie83*
Sooooo, what's the name?









Jasper Matthew. Jasper we love and dh's nn is Casper (he has Casper the Friendly Ghost tattooed on his chest, lol) and Matthew is after dh. MIL is praying I never have a boy.


----------



## FrozenMommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *suprgrl*
My mom asked how often ds nursed each day. I said I wasn't sure. (She thinks he is too big: 17 pounds at 4 months) She then told me that by 3 months he should only need to bf 3-4 times a day!! Sometimes he does that before 9 am!! Ugh. How sad. No wonder my mom's milk dried up so fast with my brother (I was ff). My poor little brother. I bet he was so hungry all the time....my mom said she just thought it was colic
















Makes you wonder how the human race has survived this long, doesn't it??







:


----------



## CryPixie83

Jasper is an awesome name... altough I don't see why your MIL is upset, Matthew is a Christian name


----------



## FrozenMommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Wildcrafter*
I'm sure the mention of "terrible twos" has been seen in this thread and heard by many. It really irks me when people say it right in front of their (or my) children.

Anyway, we were out to eat last night and my 2 1/2 year old son was charming the neighboring table. It was an older couple and the lady, when they got up to leave, said she had a young grandson and asked me how old my son was. When I told her she said, "Oh the terrible twos!" and I said, "Oh no, he's wonderful!" and at that moment ds grabbed my shirt sleeve and wiped his pasta sauce face all over it and then slid out of his seat and ran down the hall toward the bathrooms, in his socks!! It really was funny. As I got up to chase I said, "well, I AM terribly busy!" We all had a good laugh at that one.

It's the first time I was able to use humor in responding to a dumb comment and it felt quite good, much better than when I get angry and can't verbalize worth doodly squat.

So glad this thread lives on.

My mom calls them the "Terrific Twos"


----------



## elmh23

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CryPixie83*
Jasper is an awesome name... altough I don't see why your MIL is upset, Matthew is a Christian name









I don't get it either. I pointed out that Matthew was a Christian name, and she said the first name had to be Christian. She also hates my nephews name, Dylan Gregory, Gregory after dh's brother, because it's not Christian. Dh is Catholic and when I was pregnant and going through the christening (sp?) class, they mentioned you might want to use a saint name as either the first or middle name, but it doesn't really matter because when they are Confirmed they choose their own saint name. I told MIL this and she just looked at me. Oh well!


----------



## beanbean

Quote:


Originally Posted by *elmh23*
Jasper Matthew. Jasper we love and dh's nn is Casper (he has Casper the Friendly Ghost tattooed on his chest, lol) and Matthew is after dh. MIL is praying I never have a boy.

Looooove Jasper! So does DH. By the way, what exactly is a "Christian" name? I'd consider the name of anyone who's a Christian to be a "Christian name", kwim?









Tell MIL that since a Biblical name is so important to her, you're considering Mehetabel, Adrammelech, and Kirharaseth.


----------



## [email protected]

In the market the other day, a woman scowled at me and said "Isn't that baby a bit young to be out?" I smiled at her and said "Well, i thought about leaving her home by herself, but this seemed like a much better idea"


----------



## Viriditas

When ds was about six weeks old we went out to lunch with my mom. The waiter looked at us and then looked at the tiny baby sleeping in my arms and asked, "Do you need a kid's menu?"










I was SO tempted to respond, "Nah, I'm just going to order him a steak."


----------



## Kaitnbugsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Viriditas*
When ds was about six weeks old we went out to lunch with my mom. The waiter looked at us and then looked at the tiny baby sleeping in my arms and asked, "Do you need a kid's menu?"










I was SO tempted to respond, "Nah, I'm just going to order him a steak."
















Love it!


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *beanbean*
Tell MIL that since a Biblical name is so important to her, you're considering Mehetabel, Adrammelech, and Kirharaseth.









Or Judas


----------



## ex-stasis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *beanbean*
Tell MIL that since a Biblical name is so important to her, you're considering Mehetabel, Adrammelech, and Kirharaseth.


















How about "Leviathan"?
Actually, that one's on our boy list.


----------



## zenprophetic

lol @ the kids menu thing.

ugh, when DS was about four months old we were out at the mall and i was feeding him a bottle of EBM and someone said "i think you mixed your formula wrong. it looks really watery."

if i hadn't been so tired, i might have been able to come up with a witty response.


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *[email protected]*
In the market the other day, a woman scowled at me and said "Isn't that baby a bit young to be out?" I smiled at her and said "Well, i thought about leaving her home by herself, but this seemed like a much better idea"

















I *love* your response! I don't understand the "too young to be out" thing... I mean as long as you're attentively parenting it shouldn't matter


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Viriditas*
When ds was about six weeks old we went out to lunch with my mom. The waiter looked at us and then looked at the tiny baby sleeping in my arms and asked, "Do you need a kid's menu?"










I was SO tempted to respond, "Nah, I'm just going to order him a steak."









Wow. That reminds me, we just had an IHOP open here so we went there for dinner last night (one of those "I'm starving and I refuse to cook" days) and of course dd (2 next month) was with us. The waitress asks how old she is, we tell her and she's like "oh wow, she looks older" (we get this a lot mainly because she talks so much) and then she turns around and asks us if dd needs silverware. Nahhh, just throw her pancakes in a blender and give her a straw









Of course it's better than the servers who will set hot drinks right in front of older babies







: I can't tell you how many times I've had to act fast so dd didn't burn herself because some stupid person set a cup of hot cocoa or coffee right in front of her when she was like 8-16 months old.


----------



## heathenmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *[email protected]*
In the market the other day, a woman scowled at me and said "Isn't that baby a bit young to be out?" I smiled at her and said "Well, i thought about leaving her home by herself, but this seemed like a much better idea"









She'd have had a heart attack with us: we went camping with dd when she was 2 weeks old! Granted, we stayed in cabins, but it was still camping.


----------



## elmh23

We took dd to the grocery store at 5 days old and got such looks! Daddy was wearing her in the Snugli (we didn't have a true sling until she was 3 months old) and everyone was just appallaed that 1) I wasn't holding her adn 2) we had her out! Daddy was holding her because he had gone back to work that day and missed her, also he has and definatly at that time had more stamina (I can't spell!) than I. And how else were we going to eat dinner that night?

As for the Christian name thing, I don't know. My dd is named Sarah and my MIL was so happy it was a name in the bible. I actually like Judas but could never get it past dh, but he likes Jude, which is a variation. Maybe next time I'll tell we're thinking of naming him Judas Lucifer. Bet that would go over well.


----------



## alegna

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Viriditas*
When ds was about six weeks old we went out to lunch with my mom. The waiter looked at us and then looked at the tiny baby sleeping in my arms and asked, "Do you need a kid's menu?"










I was SO tempted to respond, "Nah, I'm just going to order him a steak."

We went out with BIL and SIL and kids when dd was 3 months old. BIL asked if we needed a kids' menu... sigh.... dh was quick on the trigger though- he said, "only if it has boobs on it"










-Angela


----------



## wonderwahine

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommymushbrain*
The dumbest thing ever said to me was while I was pregnant with our youngest. I was talking to an ex-friend, who was a little dumb to being with, about going on vacation and how I couldn't wait to go swimming. She told me that I can't go swimming while I was pregnant because I would drown my baby. The whole comment shocked me because I have never heard anything so dumb before that I just sat there and couldn't say anything... I think I laughed though.









That reminds me of an old woman telling me near the end of my pregnancy not to lift my hands above my head or the baby would get strangled by its cord.


----------



## wonderwahine

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CryPixie83*
Of course it's better than the servers who will set hot drinks right in front of older babies








: I can't tell you how many times I've had to act fast so dd didn't burn herself because some stupid person set a cup of hot cocoa or coffee right in front of her when she was like 8-16 months old.

Ds is 8mths, but looks older, and we constantly get seated with a kids minu and crayons, and the servers continually put hot drinks and food in front of my son. One day they put a steak knife in front of him!!!!

edit: excuse the typos, ds on lap


----------



## AmyAngel

Quote:


Originally Posted by *elmh23*
We took dd to the grocery store at 5 days old and got such looks! ...

I was checking out at Wal Mart







: during lunch a week or two ago, and the couple in front of me had a TINY baby (like smaller than the newborns I've seen) still with the wristband on from the hospital! I suspect that they may have been foster or adoptive parents who realized they needed supplies on the way home. I was surprised, but was careful not to give them any "looks" other than "what a cute baby!" looks.


----------



## jayayenay

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AmyAngel*
I suspect that they may have been foster or adoptive parents who realized they needed supplies on the way home.

They could have been birth parents who needed supplies, too.


----------



## pjlioness

Quote:


Originally Posted by *[email protected]*
In the market the other day, a woman scowled at me and said "Isn't that baby a bit young to be out?" I smiled at her and said "Well, i thought about leaving her home by herself, but this seemed like a much better idea"



















Love it.


----------



## mollyeilis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *elmh23*
I don't get it either. I pointed out that Matthew was a Christian name, and she said the first name had to be Christian. She also hates my nephews name, Dylan Gregory, Gregory after dh's brother, because it's not Christian. Dh is Catholic and when I was pregnant and going through the christening (sp?) class, they mentioned you might want to use a saint name as either the first or middle name, but it doesn't really matter because when they are Confirmed they choose their own saint name. I told MIL this and she just looked at me. Oh well!

The thing that's making me scratch my head about your MIL is that she wants Christian names, but is OK with Sarah? Isn't that Old Testament? Let's be clear, I love the name, my cousin is Sarah and goes by Sally (the cousins Sally and Molly, fun fun fun), but I'm noticing it and am bewildered by the MIL. I also get questions about that a lot b/c depending on who I'm talking to, Molly is either the traditional Irish Catholic nickname for Mary (and a name on its own), or a traditional Jewish (nick)name, for Mary. I'm SHOCKED at how many people think of it as being Irish Catholic without EVER considering that the name was indeed in use BEFORE Mary had a kid.







:

Anyway, the Mary/Molly questions all my life probably led me to see that your girl is Sarah, and to wonder why that's acceptable to her...she's not being consistent (though I have a sneaking suspicion that there's some pro-boy bias goin' on, where it's more important what you name a boy, blah blah blah) with her own beliefs.

*****
We went out all-day shopping yesterday, and were utterly bewildered by the sheer numbers of TINY babies out and about. And while I did insist that we go out to lunch when DS was 5 days old (saw nothing wrong with it at the time, and NOW am shocked and appalled at myself for doing it), all I could think of yesterday was a very strong visualization of all the germs floating through the air, and how they were all floating around, landing on these tiny, still wrinkled, babies...

I didn't say anything, I was just busy pointing out to my 2 year old all the babies (we were out too long for him, and we had to use all our jollying tactics to keep him happy), but still, even for someone who DID it, it seemed shocking to me. I also wanted to just tell the women to go take naps, that Ikea was just NOT that important!


----------



## AmyAngel

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jayayenay*
They could have been birth parents who needed supplies, too.









True! It was the bottle the mom was holding and the fact that the baby's ethnicity didn't appear to match either of them that made me think that. I definitely could be wrong though!


----------



## Charles Baudelaire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zenprophetic*
lol @ the kids menu thing.

ugh, when DS was about four months old we were out at the mall and i was feeding him a bottle of EBM and someone said "i think you mixed your formula wrong. it looks really watery."

if i hadn't been so tired, i might have been able to come up with a witty response.

Yeah, like, "Sorry -- I forgot to go to aerobics without a sportsbra."


----------



## Charles Baudelaire

As for the Christian name thing, you could always say you considered "Jesus," but decided he was technically Jewish.


----------



## JSerene

My mil insists that 13mo old dd isn't walking yet because I don't put shoes on her. Her other theory is that I held her too much. She ignores me when I explain the average age for walking and normal developmental milestones. Also says, "poor baby, you don't get McDonalds".


----------



## kofduke

Quote:


Originally Posted by *elmh23*
I don't get it either. I pointed out that Matthew was a Christian name, and she said the first name had to be Christian. She also hates my nephews name, Dylan Gregory, Gregory after dh's brother, because it's not Christian. Dh is Catholic and when I was pregnant and going through the christening (sp?) class, they mentioned you might want to use a saint name as either the first or middle name, but it doesn't really matter because when they are Confirmed they choose their own saint name. I told MIL this and she just looked at me. Oh well!

were there not a ton of popes named gregory as well?


----------



## grumpyshoegirl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alisaterry*
I don't think those are minor concerns. I had a hard time latching on DS and if someone had interfered with that it would have really made me hurt and angry. That shows a serious lack of compassion.

I completely agree. My MIL has been hostile to my breastfeeding the baby since before she was born, and every time she gets DH on the phone she asks all these accusatory questions about how breastfeeding is going. We had tons of difficulty at the beginning and anything that would have undermined it would have been devastating. As far as I'm concerned, she will NEVER be allowed to be alone with this baby or any others.


----------



## grumpyshoegirl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *elmh23*
Jasper Matthew. Jasper we love and dh's nn is Casper (he has Casper the Friendly Ghost tattooed on his chest, lol) and Matthew is after dh. MIL is praying I never have a boy.

That's a really cool name. FWIW, I did music ministry in the Catholic church for, oh, like ten years (and still do on an as-needed, substitute basis), led retreats and taught CCD. The rule is ONE of a Catholic child's names must be the name of a saint.....and that's a little fast and loose. Some priests will refuse to baptise a baby who doesn't have at least one saint's name, but others will (my cousin is Hayley Brooke, and they had to go to three priests before they got a yes on the baptism). But many, many saints themselves were not named a "Christian" name as their first name.

Your MIL might want to get a little more education on her own religion before she starts giving you such a hard time. And I believe Jasper is Biblical-- not as a name, but God is compared to the jasper tree/plant in the book of Revelation.


----------



## wonderwahine

Quote:

We went out all-day shopping yesterday, and were utterly bewildered by the sheer numbers of TINY babies out and about. And while I did insist that we go out to lunch when DS was 5 days old (saw nothing wrong with it at the time, and NOW am shocked and appalled at myself for doing it), all I could think of yesterday was a very strong visualization of all the germs floating through the air, and how they were all floating around, landing on these tiny, still wrinkled, babies...
I took ds out at 3 days old and for about everyday for 4 days after that lol.........and wasn't worried one bit. My mum and dad were here from new zealand for the birth, and once baby was born we finished getting some stuff for baby and went out to a celebration dinner.


----------



## the_lissa

Yeah we went out for dinner the day after the baby was born. I don't see the problem.


----------



## josephine_e

oh my god! i've become addicted to this thread and im only on page 8!

just a few:

my mother's sister to my mother when she told her i'm planning a hb: "when my daughter gets pregnant, im going to tell her to get as many drugs as she can!" (this woman doesnt remember her one birth at all. she was completely knocked out).

my mother's other sister when she told her my seven year old brother isnt allowed to have coke (or any soda) except for very very special occasions: "you don't let him drink COKE?! what does he drink?!" um ... human blood? .. or, wait, maybe WATER?! MILK ... ::gasp:: even JUICE!

yet another of my mother's sisters when my dd was crying at a family get together: "she needs some steak!" (my family's vegetarian, my mom practically is, and my 18mo. old was throwing a temper tantrum because someone told her not to do something she wanted to do). geesh.

my mom's family when they found out she's homeschooling my brother (she homeschooled me): "oh, but you did that with josie and look how she turned out" gee. thanks, aunties. remind me not to give gifts this christmas!

also, they all insist on buying db toy guns/swords etc. for birthdays and such, despite my mom's pleas with them not to.

needless to say, we don't go around my mom's family very much! lol

and the ones that burn me up a lot bc it comes from the med. profession:

i was at the ped. w/ dd for her 12mo. checkup. her biological dad was there too, as was his mother (don't ask me why she needed to be there...::sigh:







. anyway, the dr. was talking about what to do when she starts throwing temper tantrums, which she had just started (she's always been very independent and strong willed). then dd's grandmother asked "what about at bedtime?" (dd's dad lives with his parents, so when she stays the night at his house, he stays the night at their house) the dr. proceeded to tell us that now is the time we need to start letting her cry to sleep, otherwise it'll be hard to get her out of our bed later on. i kept saying ... but will something be wrong if i just rock her to sleep like i usually do? he said, "no, but it'll be a lot harder for you in the long run" well, DUH! parenting is HARD! ... i don't know which is worse, that she even asked this question (she knew we have a family bed at home and all my feelings a/b AP) or that she got the answer she wanted from stupid dr. (btw -- if dd ever stays the night over there, i have very strict rules and do everything i can to make sure they're followed!)

when dd was a few days old i was still in the hospital. we had made due with the tiny hospital bed and squeezed me, dh and dd in it (me in the middle). in the middle of the night one of the nursery nurses came in and told me to put the baby back in her basinette(sp?). because "how would you feel if you rolled over and suffocated her?" i wish i had felt a little more sassy, now, because all i did was put her in the basinette and wait for the nurse to leave, then took her back into the bed with me, grumbling the whole time about idiots.

another great one about dd's biological father when i told him i wanted to feed her organic food as much as possible: "well, i'm not really convinced about the danger of pesticides" me (sitting there with my packet of information / studies / etc.: "okay ... what do you base that on?" him: "just looking around the world. i mean, i ate it, you ate it ... we're fine!" .. WHAT! so, since my father has smoked camel unfiltered cigarettes (sp?) for forty years and hasn't died yet, i should hand dd a pack when she's ten and say go for it?! why do people think you can make parenting decisions that go against logic and scientific evidence simply because they don't want to put forth the effort? grr... (can you tell i have real issues with baby's daddy?)

... haha! okay, maybe that's a litte more than a few. i've got more, though! oh i definately have more!


----------



## kater07

I keep getting hints, not straight out advice, to put my clingy (around other people) DD in daycare for 2 weeks to make her not need me so much.

Apparently, there's someone in my family who actually DID that to her poor little daughter and hmmm, I have to wonder what other things were done to her like that.

She's ok-ish now, but she's got some serious issues and they started right around 13 yrs old. I am wondering how many of her issues were caused by her mom and dad not accepting and working with the child that she was.


----------



## mollyeilis

I've been trying to think of anything that's been said to me recently. But all that comes to mind is the stuff said in his early days, like the apartment managers scoffing at my plan to exclusively nurse him for ages, saying that I'd HAVE TO supplement or switch over entirely at x months (x usually equalling some incredibly young age) because it's "impossible" to feed them all the way from your body. While I know that some women can't, the number of women who believed this had to be far over any real percentages.

And of course no one asked me since then. Same with cloth diapering. If I'd bet all the people who said we'd stop or start doing just about anything we chose to do or not do, I'd be very wealthy.









Quote:

The rule is ONE of a Catholic child's names must be the name of a saint.....and that's a little fast and loose.
Is Mary considered a saint? Is that how my hardcore Catholic friend's parents got away with Venus Marie? (she's not actually named for the goddess, but for the...planet, yes the planet) She's definitely baptized, and is in such good standing with her church that she was allowed a full Mass at her wedding, despite marrying an agnostic who did NOT take communion, and the priest went on and on about what a great Catholic she is etc etc etc. Caused her friends quite a giggle, that did.

To those who don't understand the perceived problem in taking babies out so young...maybe you could use my post to kind of get into the mind of someone who DOES, now, see it as a problem? Kind of learn from my shared thoughts?

Like I said, I insisted on taking us all out 5 days post-arrival, and now I look back on it as a really bad decision. Just too germy (and I'm NOT a germophobe in any way).

So that might be what people are thinking, and and I thought that maybe it would be nice to know that.

Along with the "go home and take a nap!" part.







That's what I should have been doing!









I never meant to start something, but to SHARE thoughts so people can try to understand what's going on in someone's mind...


----------



## the_lissa

*shrug* I still don't get it.

Most babies are born in hospitals, which are some of the germiest places in our society. I don't have a problem with regular every day germs.
I would go absolutely stir crazy if I had to stay in for any length of time.

In your opinion, what is an acceptable age to take a baby out?

It just reminds me too much of those old wives'tale, which have been proven to not have a factual basis.


----------



## waterbaby9503

Just yesterday I was eating lunch with a group of older people. The 70 y/o and 40 y/o women next to me noticed I was pulling the sausage and pepporoni off my pizza ( I don't eat pig products). The older lady said I should give it to her if I didn't want it bc she would like to eat it. The younger woman noticed I was piling it to the side on my plate and volunteered "Your baby (DS is 6 wks) is a little too young to have something so spicy". What? Like I would give pork products which I will not touch to my baby? Yeah right!
Then she tells me how I need to give him bottles of water every 3 hrs - "Oh there he goes again! He's so thirsty!" pointing to my baby making sucking motions with his mouth.
I finally 'agreed' to give him a bottle of water immediately when I got home so they wouldn't call CPS or something. They were quite concerned.
The 40 y/o said she was bottle fed and she bottle fed her children, and they turned out alright!
Also, the 70 y/o didn't want me to sit in the sun after she found out I breastfed him. SHe didn't want my milk to spoil in the heat!!!


----------



## Wittyone

Quote:


Originally Posted by *waterbaby9503*
Also, the 70 y/o didn't want me to sit in the sun after she found out I breastfed him. SHe didn't want my milk to spoil in the heat!!!









Wow, just wow....how does the human race survive when so many of its members are sooooo







: ?!? Though I have to say that one made me giggle b/c its so completely illogical...


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *waterbaby9503*
Also, the 70 y/o didn't want me to sit in the sun after she found out I breastfed him. SHe didn't want my milk to spoil in the heat!!!

















That's cute.


----------



## Corvus

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mollyeilis*
To those who don't understand the perceived problem in taking babies out so young...maybe you could use my post to kind of get into the mind of someone who DOES, now, see it as a problem? Kind of learn from my shared thoughts?

Like I said, I insisted on taking us all out 5 days post-arrival, and now I look back on it as a really bad decision. Just too germy (and I'm NOT a germophobe in any way).

mollyellis, I am a germophobe, and I have taken both my kids out as newborns. I don't see what the issue is.

I don't let strangers touch them.

Newborns don't generally touch/grab things, and if you carry the baby in a sling, most people won't invade your private space to touch them.

On the occasions that the baby was sleeping when we arrived at the restaurant, we kept her in the carseat (both would wake up if we took them out of the seat and put them in a sling). We would sit in a booth, and the baby/carseat would go on the seat next to me, with me on the aisle. That way, nobody could touch her.

I don't let tons of people hold my newborns, and when they do, they have to wash their hands first. But I NEVER let strangers touch my newborns (or my older babies, for that matter). So I don't see what the big deal is about just going out in public. I would have suffered severe PPD if I had stayed home all the time. Sure, I stayed home to take naps. But I didn't want to be home ALL THE TIME.


----------



## elmh23

Mary, Marie and Maria are considered Catholic names. The problem with my nephews name was not Gregory, but Dylan. How dare my bil name his son after Bob Dylan, lol. I'm pregnant now and can't wait to see if I have a boy to name Jasper! I just love the name and the torture it brings MIL is a bonus. I knew the rule was at least one Catholic (or in other words Biblical, since Catholics use the Old and New Testaments) name per child, but MIL seems to believe both should be Catholic, or at least the first name.

Grumpyshoegirl, thanks for the info! I'll have to find it and have MIL read it!


----------



## techno_dara

My MIL just asked me Saturday if I have had DD1 (she's 6 yo) tested for dyslexia since she writes many of her letters backwards. Evidentually she doesn't remember her own children doing this. Many of my DD's classmates write most of their letters (and numbers) backward.


----------



## grumpyshoegirl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mollyeilis*
Is Mary considered a saint? Is that how my hardcore Catholic friend's parents got away with Venus Marie? (she's not actually named for the goddess, but for the...planet, yes the planet) She's definitely baptized, and is in such good standing with her church that she was allowed a full Mass at her wedding, despite marrying an agnostic who did NOT take communion, and the priest went on and on about what a great Catholic she is etc etc etc. Caused her friends quite a giggle, that did.

Mary is considered a saint, actually the most venerated of them all. And "Mary of..." various places is the patron saint of different things. In fact some names that we use today as names are derived from "Mary of.." or "Our Lady of..." like Carmen (Santa Maria de Carmen) and Dolores (Santa Maria de los Dolores) and Lourdes (Notre Dame de Lourdes).

Also, I married a Protestant in the Catholic church! It's allowed as long as you go to all the premarital counseling and the Catholic partner agrees to try their best to raise the kids Catholic-- the non-Catholic partner doesn't need to promise ANYTHING. And once they allow you a wedding, it's your choice whether it's a full Mass or just a ceremony.....nothing to do with the whether both partners are Catholic or even Christian. There was a couple at our pre-marital workshop where the bride was Catholic and the groom was Jewish


----------



## snoopy5386

last night we were out to dinner with my dad for father's day and my dd 11 weeks old started crying. what does dad do? he tries to give her some frozen pina colada off his straw!!!







cause, you know that's a good idea for a baby, a nice sugary drink, full of rum! needless to say the babe was quickly moved away and dad was yelled at.


----------



## Jessamy

Good grief, I think I would have popped him one in the nose.


----------



## MommyofPunkiePie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *grumpyshoegirl*
The rule is ONE of a Catholic child's names must be the name of a saint.....and that's a little fast and loose. Some priests will refuse to baptise a baby who doesn't have at least one saint's name, but others will.

I was baptized Catholic way back when, and my only name is Samantha. My parents couldn't decide on another name, so I only got one.







I wonder, since it's a derivitive of Samuel, if that is why the priest did it. He was also the pastor of the church (the head priest and therefore more likely to be *old school*).
On the other hand, a friend of my brother's couldn't get married by the pastor because he and his bride-to-be had the same mailing address. They had to settle for a lesser ranked priest.


----------



## Apwannabe

Quote:

Originally Posted by PumpkinSeeds
My MIL said that by nursing my ds I was going to turn him into a homosexual.
HUH?????
How would nursing a boy make him a homosexual ihave heard this about girld but boys!


----------



## jayayenay

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Apwannabe*
HUH?????
How would nursing a boy make him a homosexual ihave heard this about girld but boys!

The only thing I can think of on that is that they would be turned off women by too much boob?







It's silly, to say the least.


----------



## peaceful_mama

I'm 9 weeks pregnant and had my first US today. I saw the baby's arms and legs moving, heart beating, the little brain, etc. etc. etc. Remind me never to share this excitement with anybody other than my parents. I was informed it's nothing to be excited about, they can't REALLY tell it's fine and it doesn't have a soul yet.

This after I spent the day scared to death that either something was wrong with the baby or that I was going to have to have my appendix taken out while pregnant--neither happened.

Well...way to wreck the 2nd most beautiful thing I've witnessed in my entire life, the first being my first look at my son's face outside the womb.


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *snoopy5386*
last night we were out to dinner with my dad for father's day and my dd 11 weeks old started crying. what does dad do? he tries to give her some frozen pina colada off his straw!!!







cause, you know that's a good idea for a baby, a nice sugary drink, full of rum! needless to say the babe was quickly moved away and dad was yelled at.

I'd be more worried about the sugar and artificial crap than I would the rum... but I gave my dd whiskey for teething


----------



## Aeriane

Last week my husband and I were out with our 3 youngest (my older 3 were at their Dad's) who are 5, 3 and 10 months. We went to eat at our favorite chinese restaurant. First the waiter asks the kids' ages because price is determined by age and then he asked me "Will you be needing to see the senior citizen menu?"









ahhh life...


----------



## Rach

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan*
Offtopic:
Well, since a recent Dear Abby letter was from a woman who was worried that seeing her husband cook would turn her son gay

There was another recent Dear Abby letter from a grandmother concerned about her (presumed) gay grandson. She wanted to know if circumcision would cure him!


----------



## cjuniverse

My father came down this weekend to 'see his grandson' (re: spend a few minutes here and there holding him when he was asleep or not fussing). Coincidentally his visit coincided with Father's Day (or not so coincidentally).

Sunday morning my husband and I took him and my stepmother out to breakfast at our favorite cafe. Just as we were all finishing our food, out of nowhere he basically ordered me to get Ryo vaccinated to 'get his immune system going'. He is fully aware of my feelings on the matter (staunchly anti-vax) and purposefully broached the subject in a public place on Father's Day so I wouldn't be in a position to challenge him. I was beyond furious. I am still fuming...and wondering why I allowed the bastard access to my son in the first place. I should've known all of his making nice up to this point has been to soften me up and bring down my guard for purposes of controlling me. He's been pulling this routine for years. This is the last time I fall for it.

After all, this is the same man who beat, humiliated, and made me believe I was a helpless idiot all my life. What possible benefit could my son derive from a relationship with him?

Anyway, I think that takes the cake for MEANEST thing said in regards to my parenting.


----------



## guerrillamama

CJU, I'm sorry, that really sucks.

My Father's Day: My dad (who is really generally a wonderful dad and grandpa) was playfully chasing ds around the restaurant while I chatted with stepmom. Suddenly here's dad back at the table. Where's ds? "Oh, he's looking at the fish." Behind dad, I can see the door opening and I know without looking who's opening the door. I yell "Dad! He's going outside, go get him!" (Crowded restaurant, tables close together, dim sum carts everywhere, I couldn't get up quickly enough.) Dad leisurely saunters towards the door... I book it, and get outside long before Dad does. DS is wandering on the sidewalk by himself. I yell at Dad, "You know he could have run out in the parking lot and gotten hit by a car, or kidnapped, several times in the time it took you to get here!" Dad's response: "Really?"

The next day he calls me and says, "Are you doing ok with [ds]?" I say, "Yeah, we're fine, why?" He says, "Well, it just seems like he needs constant attention, like someone needs to be watching him every second." "Yes, Dad, he's 2 years old. That's how little kids are." His response: "Really?"

Guess who won't be babysitting ever again.


----------



## minkajane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Aeriane*
Last week my husband and I were out with our 3 youngest (my older 3 were at their Dad's) who are 5, 3 and 10 months. We went to eat at our favorite chinese restaurant. First the waiter asks the kids' ages because price is determined by age and then he asked me "Will you be needing to see the senior citizen menu?"









ahhh life...









Maybe they meant adult menu?


----------



## WinterBaby

Quote:


Originally Posted by *guerrillamama*

He says, "Well, it just seems like he needs constant attention, like someone needs to be watching him every second." "Yes, Dad, he's 2 years old. That's how little kids are." His response: "Really?"


That's funny and sad at the same time - it sounds like he didn't have the opportunity to be very involved with the day to day care of his own children at those very young ages. He might need the second chance to learn a few things with the experience of his grandchildren, LOL


----------



## thefragile7393

Wohoo! I've read every single post here!!! And it was well worth it.

My contributions:
When I expressed my worries about handling a natural birth people would tell me it's okay to not be a martyr, nothing wrong with drugs, trust docs, they won't really want to hurt you (this coming from a woman whose 2 birth experiences have been a nightmare due to her health problems compounded by stupid, rude, ignorant docs and medwives!)

Going to the stupid ped that I used to have the day after my son was born....I was promptly told by his NP's that my ds was dehydrated and to give him formula....lovely scare tactics included "You don't want him to end up in the hospital do you?" Also needed to give him formula until my milk came in because he was dehydrated Also told he should have 10 wet diapers a day or so....at one day old!!!! Also they were "concerned" because he was a sleepy baby and hard to rouse for feedings to they insisted on watching me feed him....nothing like having two critical NP's watching you latch on.

I was so worried and freaked out because all I'd heard of nipple preference. We had a follow-up that day with the birth center and the LC there about flipped her lid when we told her what they had told us. She really helped reassure us....and reminded us that (DUH) colostrum was all ds needed until milk came in.

The doc had a very patriarchal attitude as well, and I was not at all impressed. Sadly he had been my ped growing up and he had completely changed....not at all how I remembered him. My mom said he never told her any of the things he told me. Said to only nurse ds for 7 mins on each side, after that it was just pacifying . He asked if ds took a paci and I said "no, he dosn't like any" and he said "well you have to get one! Don't you know they prevent SIDS?" Oh please. I purposely kept ds away from pacis....fear of nipple preference but also I hate them and I feel I should be the one to comfort my son, not a piece of plastic (though I admit they do have uses....but I was afraid I'd easily abuse it like a lot of people do so I just felt it was better to be away from it).

This lovely ped also said not to feed ds before an exam because he couldn't see down his throat due to milk and when it pushed on the tummies the milk came up. Okay, so if my son's hungry I'm just supposed to let him scream? "Give him a pacifier!" Uh hello if he's hungry that won't work!! Yet he claims to be very bf friendly. *snort* Funny how ds's new ped pushes on his tummy and nothing comes up when I've finished feeding him before......

I get the whole stupid no co-sleeping talks, how extended bf'ing is a sign of something wrong with mom or child, letting him cry,









Inlaws visiting at age of 2 weeks was a nightmare. They brought my SIL and her then 4 mo old daughter. Promptly, pacis were shoved into his mouth by them. "Oh I got my daughter hooked on a paci by moistening it." "I don't remember how her crying sounded, every time she started to cry I put it in." PO'ed me off to no end. MIL was concerned because his cry sounded strange when I changed his diaper (he hated being changed) and that something could be wrong with his hips. Also his feet were blue so that could mean that he had poor circulation. Talk about freaking me out!!!!! I had no idea that those things were normal in a NB. (for the record, husband was born with hips out of place....not sure if it was congenital or it happened during his birth, but that's where the hip concern came from). I wish I had had the guts to tell them to stop but darn it I was exhausted, hormonal, not wanting houseguests. It would have been better than the aftermath....but anyway....

Also, a friend of mine dips her daughter's paci in sugar to get her to take it. She spits it out and she dips it in sugar and plops it back in....even when she's not fussing at all and appears to not want it. Oh I should be doing that according to her...good way to get them to take a paci. And daughter #2 got a bottle of breastmilk, condensed milk, yogurt, and I forget what else to "Help introduce her to solids." UM, what was SOLID about that??!!! Never mind that dairy in full-form isn't recommended until after a year. Of course this friend also told me that waterbirths were unsafe (because her mom is a childbirth educator so apparently she knows everything), that episiostomies were necessary and better than a jagged tear, that as long as the baby was okay any intervention was necessary. Yeah I'm taking advice from you.........


----------



## guestmama9911

We took DS in for a well baby visit and saw a different ped because ours was unavailable. When she found out we co-sleep, she said "It's going to really be hard to get him out when you want to have another one." My answer was "Why would we want him out of the bed?" She just stared at me blankly.








:


----------



## lillake

I've finally read through all the posts and I've got to add my own.

When ds#1 was 2 weeks old and hitting his normal growth spurt I complained to my mother about him crying/nursing all the time. Her reply: he was starving to death on just breastmilk and I had to start feeding him cereal immediately.







:

With ds#2 my MIL asked if he was circumsized yet. I told her no, that it's not medically nessisary. She gave me the "you stupid little girl" look and went on to tell me how 20 years ago her brother's friend's uncle had a yeast infection and had to be circumcized at the age of 40 because that's the only way to stop them in men. So it is medically nessisary and I'm only setting my son uo for a life of pain by being so ignorant.







:


----------



## thefragile7393

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lillake*

With ds#2 my MIL asked if he was circumsized yet. I told her no, that it's not medically nessisary. She gave me the "you stupid little girl" look and went on to tell me how 20 years ago her brother's friend's uncle had a yeast infection and had to be circumcized at the age of 40 because that's the only way to stop them in men. So it is medically nessisary and I'm only setting my son uo for a life of pain by being so ignorant.







:

Hmm, sounds like someone didn't take CARE OF IT! My mom gave me the same speel about how her first husband wasn't circed and kept giving her yeast infections. that's what got me to get my ds circed







:







:







:







: Dear lord I wish I had read up on it more before it happened and I could have gotten myself out of my passive hormone fog....NEVER AGAIN. Any future sons will NEVER have it....what a fool I was.


----------



## guerrillamama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WinterBaby*
That's funny and sad at the same time - it sounds like he didn't have the opportunity to be very involved with the day to day care of his own children at those very young ages. He might need the second chance to learn a few things with the experience of his grandchildren, LOL

Just saw this. Yeah, it is really sad. He was a very loving dad, but very typical in being totally caught up in the role of the breadwinner and all that. He's told me no less than a hundred times how much he regrets not spending more time with us when we were growing up. And to his credit, he spends as much time as he can with ds, and just adores him. He's just kinda clueless.







:


----------



## Wolfcat

Quote:


Originally Posted by *elmh23*
How dare my bil name his son after Bob Dylan, lol.

I was at my grandmother's funeral and I was feeling naughty, so I told my uber conservative brother that I was naming my son Logan after Wolverine on the X-Men.









The sad thing is, he believed me!







:


----------



## Lula's Mom

Dear God. Can you imagine if the mindest toward circ in this country was the other way around, and Monistat "didn't work on women"? And if we got a yeast infection, the cure would be to _completely slice off our outer genitalia_?

I just don't understand it. And I'll take my chances by leaving my son and daughter intact, thanks!


----------



## minkajane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thefragile7393*
Hmm, sounds like someone didn't take CARE OF IT! My mom gave me the same speel about how her first husband wasn't circed and kept giving her yeast infections. that's what got me to get my ds circed







:







:








:







: Dear lord I wish I had read up on it more before it happened and I could have gotten myself out of my passive hormone fog....NEVER AGAIN. Any future sons will NEVER have it....what a fool I was.

You tell your mom that my son just had a yeast infection. I put some antifungal on it and *gasp* it went away! He is now completely over it, with his foreskin still intact!


----------



## WinterBaby

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thefragile7393*
Hmm, sounds like someone didn't take CARE OF IT! My mom gave me the same speel about how her first husband wasn't circed and kept giving her yeast infections. that's what got me to get my ds circed







:







:







:







: Dear lord I wish I had read up on it more before it happened and I could have gotten myself out of my passive hormone fog....NEVER AGAIN. Any future sons will NEVER have it....what a fool I was.

You know, I've had this problem with a circumsized man.. funny, when they're already circ'd, they just treat the dang yeast infection they're carrying instead of discussing surgery, LOL


----------



## wonderwahine

dh and ds have both had yeasties......and used antifungals and no more problems!

its like the thought that its harder to keep an uncirced penis clean and they are dirty etc.........only if the guy never pulls the foreskin back to clean it....and imo its the person themselves that are dirty in general not just their penis.


----------



## guestmama9911




----------



## minkajane

Woo-hoo! It got bumped! Keep 'em coming!


----------



## lasergirl

Crying is good for their lungs. No comeback from me-- I had to pick my jaw up from the floor!!!!!


----------



## joliebebe

Ahhh this is such a great thread. Im new on here but reading the amount of ignorance particulary surrouding breastfeeding in America cracks me up !!









Ive also had the 'sleeping through the night?' one, whats with that???







:

My son was in the NICU for 10 days after he was born and was tube fed for the first week or so. When he was given the 'allclear' for feeding from the breast, he had a few attatchment issues. During the first night feed, the nurse on duty saw that he was going off and on and having a little trouble, straight away she said 'oh looks like you dont have any milk'...then when I told her that I had been pumping 100mls+ each 'feeding' time (6-8 times a day), she was a little put off but then went on to say, 'well we'll just give him a bottle anyways'. I politely restrained myself from saying something abusive to her. I mean after all the hard work I had done to maintain my supply, you'de think they would have better advice than that!!! GGGRRRR!







:


----------



## thefragile7393

It's taken me a looong time to realize that so many medical professionals are not educated about breastfeeding and spread their ignorance through their so-called "advice." Ugh.







:


----------



## BelgianSheepDog

Bad nursing advice from a medical professional: "If she stays longer than 10-15 minutes on one breast, switch her over to the other one." Cause we wouldn't want her getting hindmilk or anything now would we? The reasoning behind this was that if you let her stay "too long" she'll think it's just for fun, not for food.

Feeding advice from my grandma: "When they start grabbing for food you should just give them some...when your brother was 4 months old we were all out at a hamburger joint and he reached for my plate, so I gave him a piece of the bun. Your silly mother almost killed me, what's wrong with her?"

Worst part: the context here was that my 2-week-old had just flailed her fist in the general direction of a french fry, which Grandma interpreted as her wanting it. Fortunately even grandma thinks 2 weeks is too young for fast food or things might have gotten ugly.


----------



## North_Of_60

I just had to add to this....

My husbands great aunt was over on the weekend, she's 80 something. Anyway, she said to me "that kid must be getting sore from being held so much, why don't you set her down to rest in that thing (referring to the exercauser)".

Yeah, cause letting her dangle from her crotch in a cheap fabric seat would feel SOOO much better.









Meh, she's older then dirt, so I wasn't going to get into it with her. And no, I didn't put her in the evil exercauser.


----------



## MotherofZion

Well, I just had to add something to this thread.

My daughter has had the worst excema and baby acne since she was about 2 weeks. I was telling a "friend" about it and how I had just come from the doctor and was going to start using some cortisone cream on her to help it clear up. My friend starts asking me if she got excema because of things I ate or did while I was pregnant?! Then she says, "Well when I'm pregnant, I'm going to eat nuts and berries so that my child will be 100% healthy and have pretty skin."

Can you believe that?!


----------



## MelissaEvans

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thefragile7393*
It's taken me a looong time to realize that so many medical professionals are not educated about breastfeeding and spread their ignorance through their so-called "advice." Ugh.







:

I would add to this list circ, vax, co-sleeping, and crying. Not that every medical professional is uneducated, but it seems to be a big trend.

Some more... my step mom came to "visit" when DS2 was 4 months old. First, my mom came at 2 weeks when DH went back to work; my MIL came at 3 weeks. Both of them came to *help*. Step mom came because we're on her way to pick up her son, the golden child, from school. We're a pitstop, a free place to stay for the night. "I'll be there for 2 days!" Exclamation point, all excited. Whatever.

"How's Taylor doing?" Not a bad thing to ask, except baby's name is TYLER. I thought I didn't hear her right, so I didn't say anything. Then she called him Taylor again. She didn't even know her own grandson's name. Which means no one in my family knew my baby's name. After phone calls, emails, birth announcements... This hurt.

DS1 (3.5 yrs) and I were in the dining area, mom was in the family room. DS1 asked for something and I gave it to him. "Say thank you!" mom pipes up. She was in a different room! It had nothing to do with her! And I don't force kids to say "thank you" or "sorry." I use those words to teach what they are, but since I can't force him to *mean* them, I don't think it's appropriate to force the words. I think it's lying. And never mind that he *did* thank me!!

She was here around mother's day and her birthday. So we ordered a nice dinner (I didn't like the idea of going to a restaurant with both boys) and I made her a cake. I forgot to give her her birthday gift card, so I mailed it in a hand-made card. She never said anything. I wanted to call her up "Say thank you!!!"

I told her about a program we did for DS1 to help with sensory integration issues. It was rough - for 2 weeks we drove an hour, did a 30 min session, waited around for 3 hours, then did another 30 min session, then drove home. I had both my boys and DH had to work/sleep so I did this on my own. "Why didn't you call me? You know I would have come to help!" Pah-lease! Worse than "let's do lunch" when you have no intention - this was in the past so she can sound like the loving, helpful grandma without putting herself out.

And on the way back home, she didn't stop by again with my brother. She took another route so they could visit her parents. And they didn't know when they were leaving, they were just going to enjoy themselves and relax.

Mom, dad, and my two younger brothers will be back in August to use us for a pit stop again. *sigh*


----------



## BelgianSheepDog

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MotherofZion*
Then she says, "Well when I'm pregnant, I'm going to eat nuts and berries so that my child will be 100% healthy and have pretty skin."

Can you believe that?!

What is she, a grizzly bear??


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MelissaEvans*

Mom, dad, and my two younger brothers will be back in August to use us for a pit stop again. *sigh*

What a trip your mom is! I'd leave a note on the door saying that the pit stop is closed, but I'm snarky like that.


----------



## wsgrl84

Ok I have to add this... it might not be about parenting exactly but it's about the worst/rudest thing that can be said to me or any mom.

So I still have a few single friends out there whom I knew since high school.

This one day me and my friend had dinner together and she asked me afterwards...

Friend:"Are you planning on having a second one?"
Me: "yea sure..probably in the next 5/6 years the latest..."
Friend: "Oh really? Wow by then I'll probably still be single and out having fun!"
Me: *speechless*

I really didn't know what to say to that...but it really hurt my feelings!


----------



## beanbean

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wsgrl84*
Ok I have to add this... it might not be about parenting exactly but it's about the worst/rudest thing that can be said to me or any mom.

So I still have a few single friends out there whom I knew since high school.

This one day me and my friend had dinner together and she asked me afterwards...

Friend:"Are you planning on having a second one?"
Me: "yea sure..probably in the next 5/6 years the latest..."
Friend: "Oh really? Wow by then I'll probably still be single and out having fun!"
Me: *speechless*

I really didn't know what to say to that...but it really hurt my feelings!

I'd be thinking, "Wow, sucks to be her!"


----------



## MotherofZion

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BelgianSheepDog*
What is she, a grizzly bear??

LMAO!! I wish I woulda said that!


----------



## lmkirche

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thefragile7393*
It's taken me a looong time to realize that so many medical professionals are not educated about breastfeeding and spread their ignorance through their so-called "advice." Ugh.







:

OMG! - Totally True!! But. . .Why?????

When I had my first baby 7 months ago. I was planning on bfing. I read books and took classes and was ready to have difficulties with attachment and not feeding alot the fist couple of days. Since I knew that there would be lacation consultants on staff, I figured they would help me out. BOY WAS I WRONG!!!!







: Probally 3 hours after our baby was born the lactation consultant looked at me and said "He is not eating, let me give you this nipple shield thingy." I was so pumped up with hormones and emotions that I agreed, thinking she was an expert on bfing







. Well, my son got use to feeding from a silicone nipple. Then a couple days later, she said, "If he was my baby, I would bottle feed him and give him a pacifier." I figured, boy he -must be really sick - not getting enough to eat - She knows what she is talking about. And I cried as I gave him a bottle of breadtmilk. As he gulped it down my family exclaimed that he was starving - I felt so bad. So I never taught him to bf









Since then, I pump and botttle feed breastmilk. I want my child to have breastmilk so for me there is no other option. But I still am SO MAD 1st at myself for not listening to my instincts, but also at the "lacation consultants" who seemed to be encouraging formula vs bfing.


----------



## BookGoddess

Some of these posts are hilarious..sad but funny. The things people will say, huh?

The dumbest thing I got was this..

*Me:* Yeah, I'm becoming a diaper changing expert now what with changing J's diaper 6 times a day..

*Recently Married Friend:* 6 times a day? *shocked look* I thought you only change a baby's diaper twice a day.

*Me:*







:


----------



## joliebebe

One particularly dumb thing I heard was something my MIL told me. When her 4th baby was a few weeks old, she started to get chronic conjunctivitis (sp?)which wouldnt go away.
Went to see the (very ignorant uninformed) doctor who told her that it was her milk giving her baby the infection and to stop B'feeding straight away, and to FF.







: Despite the fact that my MIL successfully breastfed 3 previous babies, she listened to this advice and my SIL was FF after that








In actual fact, a few drops of breastmilk in the eyes works wonders with conjuntivitis.







: Some doctors,







: you would think that they are directly paid by the formula companies!!!!


----------



## wonderwahine

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BookGoddess*
Some of these posts are hilarious..sad but funny. The things people will say, huh?

The dumbest thing I got was this..

*Me:* Yeah, I'm becoming a diaper changing expert now what with changing J's diaper 6 times a day..

*Recently Married Friend:* 6 times a day? *shocked look* I thought you only change a baby's diaper twice a day.

*Me:*







:









I've had reactions like this, but ds needs his diaper changed as soon as its wet to prevent a rash, so we change him like 8-10 times a day. people are really shocked because we do use disposibles, and they thought its like twice maybe three times a day!?!?







:


----------



## wonderwahine

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lmkirche*
But I still am SO MAD 1st at myself for not listening to my instincts, but also at the "lacation consultants" who seemed to be encouraging formula vs bfing.

I found out recently, that since so many hospitals want to seem breastfriendly, they just send a nurse to do a few breastfeeding courses then slap an LC title on her. One of the ladies in my LLL meeting yesterday said she was taught by an LC at the hospital.... who had never had any kids, another said to her "I coulndt breastfeed well, maybe you should just give a bottle" when she was having latch issues at day 2!


----------



## muckemom

At my baby shower, someone had made it known that I was not planning on circ'ing my son... and my cousin (a man) told me that women wouldn't want to sleep with him because, and I quote,







"his thingy will look retarded."

My best friend, who, while I love, looked like a slutty Heidi Klum, and whom my cousin (and everyother male in the room) had been hitting on all night, looked at him, pursed her lips and said, "Well, I've slept with a LOT of men... and I have ALWAYS preferred the ones who've not been amputated."









That shut up the drooling idiots for a while...

and PS - why they HELL do I want to think about women sleeping with my precious child... that is NOT a good argument for the pro circ crowd... FYI, not that there is a good argument, but still....







:


----------



## blessed

Quote:


Originally Posted by *romans_mum*







I've had reactions like this, but ds needs his diaper changed as soon as its wet to prevent a rash, so we change him like 8-10 times a day. people are really shocked because we do use disposibles, and they thought its like twice maybe three times a day!?!?







:

I came to notice that it is extremely dependent upon the brand of diaper.

We used expensive name brand diapers for a long time and would change 2 or 3 times per day, never had a diaper rash, never had a leak. Then we experimented with less expensive brands and all of a sudden her dipe was bagging down after a single pee, whe was waking up with the bed wet, leaking during the day, and she got her very first diaper rash of her life







:.

The good dipes are definitelty worth the extra money for the way we live.


----------



## wonderwahine

oh yeah, we use huggies supreme and overnights and pampers baby dry (hate the new liner in cruisers). But his skin still gets rashes....hes just sensitive to the moisture.


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *joliebebe*
Some doctors,







: you would think that they are directly paid by the formula companies!!!!

Many are, if not in actual cash then in expensive gifts, vacations, you name it. Disgusting, eh?







:


----------



## Shenjall

Quote:

oh yeah, we use huggies supreme and overnights and pampers baby dry (hate the new liner in cruisers). But his skin still gets rashes....hes just sensitive to the moisture.
My dd always got rashes from huggies supreme and pampers but never from the no-name diapers. I think its the perfume thats irritating......

back on topic....


----------



## wonderwahine

really? ds reacts worst to the no name brands fragrances but we've had no problems with supreme.


----------



## Sierra

On the subject of disposables, we use cloth except for occassions we are going to be out of the house for a long period (or sometimes at night we use them as well, if the cloth have been "leaky"). But, we used all disposables with ds for his first six or seven months because we weren't sure if he was going to stay with us or move with his birthfamily...and we didn't want to sign up for diaper service or purchase a whole diapering system because we had this crazy paranoia about "ginxing" things. I discovered that Pampers *Cruisers* were the only diapers that didn't irritate his skin. Pampers Baby Dry, Huggies, and most other brands did irritate him.


----------



## kater07

I've had family tell me that I'll never get the kids out of my bed and that I'll never get to have sex again b/c there's a baby sleeping in my bed.

They've told me that I was crazy for using cloth diapers. That was actually SCREAMED at me over the phone.

My sister who didn't even like kids until my DS turned 3 told me to just let him cry because it's the only way babies get exercise.

I've had people tell me that unless the kid is hungry, wet or cold I shouldn't pick him/her up when he/she cries (same advice 2 babies). Also was told another that I should spank DS at the same time every day and put him to bed for a nap b/c he'd learn to take a nap at the same time every day just like their son. He was 8mos old at the time (their kids is 18 days older than mine).

I also have friend who brag about washing their kid's mouth out with soap as routine punishment because "it keeps him in line".

Sigh...


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kater07*
I've had family tell me that I'll never get the kids out of my bed and that I'll never get to have sex again b/c there's a baby sleeping in my bed.

I really wonder if some people think the only place you can have sex is in a bed... how boring


----------



## alegna

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blessed*
I came to notice that it is extremely dependent upon the brand of diaper.

We used expensive name brand diapers for a long time and would change 2 or 3 times per day, never had a diaper rash, never had a leak. Then we experimented with less expensive brands and all of a sudden her dipe was bagging down after a single pee, whe was waking up with the bed wet, leaking during the day, and she got her very first diaper rash of her life







:.

The good dipes are definitelty worth the extra money for the way we live.

Eeewwww, sorry, all babies deserve to have fresh diapers. No one deserves to sit in their own waste, no matter how dry it feels. Ick.

-Angela


----------



## wonderwahine

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sierra*
I discovered that Pampers *Cruisers* were the only diapers that didn't irritate his skin. Pampers Baby Dry, Huggies, and most other brands did irritate him.

interesting, i guess every baby has its own comfort level for their skin. the new liner in the cruisers give ds a horrible rash and the gel leaks out easier now.


----------



## pjlioness

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alegna*
Eeewwww, sorry, all babies deserve to have fresh diapers. No one deserves to sit in their own waste, no matter how dry it feels. Ick.

Definitely. When we use disposables, I still do my best to change it ASAP after ds2 pees. It won't help with potty learning for any baby to get used to a wet/heavy diaper all the time.


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blessed*

We used expensive name brand diapers for a long time and would change 2 or 3 times per day, never had a diaper rash, never had a leak. Then we experimented with less expensive brands and all of a sudden her dipe was bagging down after a single pee, whe was waking up with the bed wet, leaking during the day, and she got her very first diaper rash of her life







:.

2 or 3 times a day? That's really gross. Sorry to be blunt. Diapers (disposable, cloth, whatever) should be changed after every pee or poop. I definately wouldn't want to have a diaper with pee in it strapped to my genitals, no matter how dry it felt.


----------



## elmh23

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kater07*
I've had family tell me that I'll never get the kids out of my bed and that I'll never get to have sex again b/c there's a baby sleeping in my bed.

I also have friend who brag about washing their kid's mouth out with soap as routine punishment because "it keeps him in line".

Sigh...

1) that's why we have a couch in the living room
2) then why'd she have to keep punishing him? wouldn't he be punishment free if he was "kept in line"?


----------



## wonderwahine

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CryPixie83*
2 or 3 times a day? That's really gross. Sorry to be blunt. Diapers (disposable, cloth, whatever) should be changed after every pee or poop. I definately wouldn't want to have a diaper with pee in it strapped to my genitals, no matter how dry it felt.

i agree, during the day hes changed asap, but at night hes in the same diaper for nearly 11hrs sometimes, im not about to wake him up and change his diaper.


----------



## nepenthesea

My dds are only six months old, so I haven't had alot of "advice" yet...other than HORRIBLE breastfeeding advice from doctors at the "well-baby" visits. But I found a doctor who had a clue, so that's not an issue anymore.

I did, however, hear something screwed up a few weeks ago at DH's birthday party. Three different people (all have young children) said to me, "Isn't it funny how their crying doesn't bother you anymore after awhile?"







I was like, "Um, it still bothers me." My DH was appalled, and so was MIL when I told her. Luckily, she's really AP-friendly, and always talks about what a wonderful mother I am, so I don't have to hear any stupid comments out of her.

Oh yeah, and I heard a real gem while I was pregnant. DH had a friend that was trying to have a baby with his wife. He was visiting and asked what I had been doing. I told him that I spent all of my time reading about pregnancy and parenting. He said something like, "What is there to research? If they're hungry, you feed them, and if they cry you spank them."







DH said he felt sorry for their future children. I can't figure out why my dh is so cool and all his friends are such idiots







.


----------



## lmkirche

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kater07*
I've had people tell me that unless the kid is hungry, wet or cold I shouldn't pick him/her up when he/she cries (same advice 2 babies). Also was told another that I should spank DS at the same time every day and put him to bed for a nap b/c he'd learn to take a nap at the same time every day just like their son. He was 8mos old at the time (their kids is 18 days older than mine). I also have friend who brag about washing their kid's mouth out with soap as routine punishment because "it keeps him in line".

Gosh that is so sad that people do that.







There are so many families out there that want children so desprately and then there are these families who treat their own children worse than their dog.


----------



## lmkirche

Quote:


Originally Posted by *romans_mum*
I found out recently, that since so many hospitals want to seem breastfriendly, they just send a nurse to do a few breastfeeding courses then slap an LC title on her. One of the ladies in my LLL meeting yesterday said she was taught by an LC at the hospital.... who had never had any kids, another said to her "I coulndt breastfeed well, maybe you should just give a bottle" when she was having latch issues at day 2!

Ah. . .Yes. . .Listening to nurses was definately the BIGGEST mistake I've made so far parenting. I just didn't know any better nor did I realize the amount of hormones that would be running through me to prevent me from making sound decisions. Unfortunately, my husband wasn't around to help that early in the process.

Sad thing is that the same thing happened to my sister and pre-natal yoga instructor.

O.K. Enough moping. . .On to reality!!


----------



## guestmama9911

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lmkirche*
OMG! - Totally True!! But. . .Why?????

When I had my first baby 7 months ago. I was planning on bfing. I read books and took classes and was ready to have difficulties with attachment and not feeding alot the fist couple of days. Since I knew that there would be lacation consultants on staff, I figured they would help me out. BOY WAS I WRONG!!!!







: Probally 3 hours after our baby was born the lactation consultant looked at me and said "He is not eating, let me give you this nipple shield thingy." I was so pumped up with hormones and emotions that I agreed, thinking she was an expert on bfing







. Well, my son got use to feeding from a silicone nipple. Then a couple days later, she said, "If he was my baby, I would bottle feed him and give him a pacifier." I figured, boy he -must be really sick - not getting enough to eat - She knows what she is talking about. And I cried as I gave him a bottle of breadtmilk. As he gulped it down my family exclaimed that he was starving - I felt so bad. So I never taught him to bf









Since then, I pump and botttle feed breastmilk. I want my child to have breastmilk so for me there is no other option. But I still am SO MAD 1st at myself for not listening to my instincts, but also at the "lacation consultants" who seemed to be encouraging formula vs bfing.

Try again. Go to La Leche League and try again. It took me over 4 months to get rid of the nipple shield that the hospital "Lactation Consultant" gave me after just a few hours of trying to latch on DS. I don't think it's to late. You never know!


----------



## blessed

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alegna*
Eeewwww, sorry, all babies deserve to have fresh diapers. No one deserves to sit in their own waste, no matter how dry it feels. Ick.

-Angela

Probably our results are a little skewed by the fact that she's been partially potty trained for a long, long time now. When we're hanging around the house she'll tend to go in her potty, although inconsistently.

But mostly we're just a very active family. So dd gets into a dipe and away we go. We keep one single extra dipe in the trunk of the car in case of emergency, but haven't had to use it in months. We don't even own a diaper bag, and wouldn't want to drag one around on our bike rides, dinners out with friends, trips to the park or public library.

She seems to have pretty good awareness and control and she nearly always holds off on BMs until we're home and she has some privacy.

Somehow she has managed to survive the trauma of not having six changes per day throughout her lifetime. But hey! Thanks as always for your helpful advice.


----------



## Wittyone

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kater07*
Also was told another that I should spank DS at the same time every day ...He was 8mos old at the time

Let me get this straight...a scheduled spanking every day?!? And this was supposed to accomplish what again?


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blessed*
Probably our results are a little skewed by the fact that she's been partially potty trained for a long, long time now. When we're hanging around the house she'll tend to go in her potty, although inconsistently.

Yes, that does make all the difference to your earlier statement. I hate it when people get defensive because other people can't read their minds. There is a *huge* difference between what you're describing in this post and what was implied in your earlier post.


----------



## mollyeilis

Definitely a big difference between not changing b/c it hasn't been used, vs not changing b/c nothing's leaked yet.

Funnily enough, even now that DS rarely uses his diaper for ANYTHING, I'm still changing him about 4 times a day (and more if he uses it). Just can't handle the idea of all that booty-ness in this heat, gotta air him out and get a less sweaty dipe!









All the stuff about nurses makes me so sad. Sorry to say I've never had much of a good experience with any of them, and I hope to never deal with one again, but at least none of the nurses I ran into were saying idiotic things about nursing DS (not that I would have listened to them). In fact the LCs at the hospital held DS up in the air to help me feed him the first time as I couldn't yet hold him (interesting morphine memory of "flying baby").....

But what's really sad to me is that my stepmom is a NICU nurse (she'd be a perfect stepmom again if she'd just give up her job), she nursed three babies (the boys until they were around 2 and the girl until after 4 years old), she knows what it's all about...but she REFUSES to become a lactation nurse b/c her advice would be "just nurse the baby, it's OK, it will work", and she feels that that is NOT good advice.

While that wouldn't work for *everyone* (BFAR, cleft, and preemie situations come to mind), it seems it would be FAR BETTER advice than what so many supposed lactation nurses are giving their patients who are experiencing simple variations of normal!!!!!!

Maybe I'll urge her again to get the LC course under her belt, so she can officially help women....


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan*
Yes, that does make all the difference to your earlier statement. I hate it when people get defensive because other people can't read their minds. There is a *huge* difference between what you're describing in this post and what was implied in your earlier post.









:

The situation definately seems way less gross now that we have a fuller picture.

Sorry, but I've known parents who really will only change their kiddos once or twicea day, and these are babies who are not potty-learned... it's really icky.


----------



## guestmama9911

Way to give someone the benefit of the doubt, ladies. Maybe next time you should ask someone what they meant first before you draw your own conclusions. You guys got a little mean there and it made the thread uncomfortable to read.


----------



## blessed

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan*
Yes, that does make all the difference to your earlier statement. I hate it when people get defensive because other people can't read their minds. There is a *huge* difference between what you're describing in this post and what was implied in your earlier post.

Oh, not so much of a difference. I think you had a pretty good handle on what we do. Dd 'sits in her own waste' plenty of times throughout the day.

I have never bothered to change her after a single pee. The expensive dipes are so absorbant that sometimes after her bath I have had to hold them up to the light to see if there is any yellow stain to know if I'm holding a new dipe that she's unfolded or have picked up her used one. She seems to do just fine somehow. In fact, like most kids she doesn't like to slow down for a diaper changes, so she's likely a lot happier with this arrangement than if I was chasing her around all day with a dipe in my hand.

Probably the real difference is just that she bathes every day. Or if she wants to play in the tub or otherwise gets sticky or dirty while playing she might bathe twice in a day. She's a clean, happy kid.


----------



## sapphire_chan

You're coming across as feeling guilty for your choice. And I'm not seeing why. Your daughter: doesn't get rashes, doesn't get infections, doesn't have to deal with wet clothing, isn't over-heated, doesn't get nasty lint all over her and hasn't been hampered in potty-learning, which are the most likely side-effects of diapers being changed infrequently and/or using diapers with super absorbancy. It's obviously working for you and if it wasn't working you'd do something differently.

And again, still a huge difference between a diaper full of poop, or one that's been peed in 12 times, and one that's only been peed in when a child doesn't make it to the potty.


----------



## blessed

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan*
You're coming across as feeling guilty for your choice. And I'm not seeing why.









O lord.

Honestly, thanks again for your helpful advice.

signed,
guilty
defensive
gross
icky

blessed


----------



## Sierra

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Wittyone*
Let me get this straight...a scheduled spanking every day?!? And this was supposed to accomplish what again?

My thought exactly. I've heard some real gems, and read most of this thread, but dang, that little piece of "wisdom" there takes the cake!

And if I read it correctly, they were advising you to spank the baby at the regularly scheduled time and then put the baby down for a nap???!







:









That and the post about "if the baby cries, spank him/her" have me in tears myself. I'm so sad for the little babies out there who are growing up under these notions.

Oh, and as for changing diapers, I can understand not changing with every wet, particularly in disposables. In cloth, I change ds always if he is wet or poopy as soon as I realize it. However, I don't always realize right away. This might depend on one's baby, but ds pees *frequently* and not on any sort of predictable schedule (the only thing predictable about it is that he usually does it two or three times after sleeping for more than a couple hours). I try to be good about checking, but sometimes we both get involved in playing and I lose all sense of time.

At night, one of the reasons we sometimes do disposables is that ds can't sleep through diaper changes and waking a sleeping baby goes against our intuition. So, when he's in a disposable, we change him if he wakes for to eat, but otherwise let him sleep.

And during the day if he is in a disposable for some reason (like if we are going to be out of the house for six or eight hours and will be somewhere that I don't know has a good place for doing changes), I'm just not quite as vigilent. If he's poopy, I change him right away. If he is wet, I also change him right away. But I don't check him quite as frequently because truly...disposable diapers now are super, super absorbant, and the child isn't really "sitting in" their own waste because it is all wicked away from the skin. Sometimes I will check and can't tell whether it is wet or dry. As was stated earlier, it's almost like you have to hold it to the light to see if it has a yellow tinge.

ds has never had a single diaper rash. As I said, I mostly use cloth and check his diapers frequently, but with disposables, I'm more worried about the chemicals in them than I am about him coming into contact with his own urine...that's just not the way many modern disposables seem to work.


----------



## NYCVeg

Now that I actually have a babe, I get dumb comments alllllll the time. Lots of comments about her size (people think she's either really small or really big...which is funny, she's exactly at the 50th percentile for weight); lots of comments about the sling.

From a clerk at a store, eyeing the sling: "Is that the newest thing?" I said, "No, it's the oldest thing. It's pretty much how people have always carried a baby." I get a lot of, "They didn't have those when I had kids."

From my sister (the prime giver of grating comments):
"Oh, you don't really need to hold a baby under three months much. They just need sleep and food. My friend B and I just sit around and laugh and think, 'Do people REALLY hold their babies?'"

We've had (and are still having at 8 weeks) horrific bfing difficulties. I think about quitting every single day--and, so far, I've been able to push through. I was describing some of this to my sister and BIL. Sister says, "Well, there's no need to kill yourself." (Thanks. That makes me feel better.) BIL suggests that I get a pump, so that "You have a little extra in the freezer for when you stop at 3 months." When I tell him I have no intention of weaning at 3 months, he looks mystified. When I tell him I plan on nursing--providing we can make it through this pain--for at least a year (and really longer, but I don't want to get into that), sister says completely dismissively, "Oh, well, I don't know *anyone* who nursed for a whole year." Really? I do.

Given our bfing difficulties, I also have completely lost my tolerance for the vast number of people who tell me that they quit after a couple of days b/c "it just hurt too much" or "I just didn't like it." You think I like nipples that look like hamburger meat?!?

Both my sister and my mom are obsessed with the stroller. When I say we haven't used it since dd was a few weeks old, they're incredulous. "But you NEED to use a stroller." I do? Why? We're visiting my parents in a few weeks and my mom keeps going on and on about how we need to bring the stroller--and if we don't, she's actually doing to buy another one.







:

Sister also wanted to know: "Where do you put her when she's awake?" Um...I pretty much hold her on my lap or put her in the sling. Yes, I use a bouncy seat sometimes so I can eat or pee or whatever...but not as a place to stash the baby so I don't have to be bothered.

From my SIL, after my natural, out-of-hospital birth: "I thought for sure you were going to need drugs." Thanks for the vote of confidence.

ETA: Oh, I forgot a good one. Dh put dd in the sling and went out with her to run a quick errand in the neighborhood. Some woman stopped him to talk and, noticing that he was alone, sputtered, horrified..."But...where's the mother?" Because lord knows that men are incapable of being alone with their babies for 15 minutes.







:


----------



## RainMath

My brother wa horrified because I was nursing my son without him crying (but he was asking his way... no need crying)...
And why the same brother (I have only one







) saw that the baby was putting on weight nicely, he said "now it is time to make him wait before eating... With his own baby my brother and sil just took her attention away so that she "forgot" she was hungry, so that there were at least 2 hours between two feeds...
But now that they see my son a happy 11 months old boy, my sil realised that my way of nurturing/mothering my son was not so bad after all...


----------



## sapphire_chan

Those ones about the "spank if they cry" and the other perverted sounding one make me want to pray that those people develop incurable infertility problems and never get approved for adoptions.







:


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NYCVeg*
Oh, I forgot a good one. Dh put dd in the sling and went out with her to run a quick errand in the neighborhood. Some woman stopped him to talk and, noticing that he was alone, sputtered, horrified..."But...where's the mother?" Because lord knows that men are incapable of being alone with their babies for 15 minutes.







:

On the plus side, they must have been assuming that your baby was breastfed


----------



## Mummoth

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alisaterry*
Way to give someone the benefit of the doubt, ladies. Maybe next time you should ask someone what they meant first before you draw your own conclusions. You guys got a little mean there and it made the thread uncomfortable to read.









True. But the irony of people not having a filter/giving their unwanted/unasked for opinion/advice on a thread where people are comisserating at having experienced the very same? It's like, art... or something.


----------



## Shaunam

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NYCVeg*
We've had (and are still having at 8 weeks) horrific bfing difficulties. I think about quitting every single day--and, so far, I've been able to push through. I was describing some of this to my sister and BIL. Sister says, "Well, there's no need to kill yourself." (Thanks. That makes me feel better.) BIL suggests that I get a pump, so that "You have a little extra in the freezer for when you stop at 3 months." When I tell him I have no intention of weaning at 3 months, he looks mystified. When I tell him I plan on nursing--providing we can make it through this pain--for at least a year (and really longer, but I don't want to get into that), sister says completely dismissively, "Oh, well, I don't know *anyone* who nursed for a whole year." Really? I do.

I *know* you'll make it through this.







You have it in your heart and that is the most important thing. I had lots of pain from thrush until DS was about 4 months (thrush started at a week, thankfully he had a good latch) and everytime I had to feed him I wanted to cry. My mom saw what I was going through. She also nursed 4 babies, but she never really had any difficulties. She said, "I'm so proud of you. Most women would have given up long ago." And I know that's true. But the difference between me and most other women is I *wanted* to breastfeed. So badly. For me it's just a part of motherhood and I don't give myself another option (unless of course, there was a real medical need).

And guess what? When you make it to a year, your sister can no longer say she doesn't know anyone who's nursed that long. What an honor, huh?







Instead of discouraging other women, she might be saying, "Oh my sister nursed til X age. She nursed through so many difficulties, but she stuck with it, I'm sure you can too!"

Imagine how may of your sister's aquaintances you'll positively affect if you nurse for a year.


----------



## Jmkteach

Okay, maybe this isn't really all that stupid...but it's been annoying the heck out of me lately. I'm pg with #2 and have an 8 month old son. People have been a little shocked to hear we're expecting again, but no one has really said anything negative.

However, they keep asking me if I know what we are having (boy or girl). I guess that's the normal question after "when are you due?" But...I"M ONLY 12 WEEKS PREGNANT!!! Not to mention I had told a few people when I was only 8 weeks and they asked me. Is it just me or are there a lot of people out there who really have no idea about how a baby develops? I had a US when I was 6 weeks to confirm pregnancy (because I'm still nursing and had no idea how far along I was)...the baby was the size of a sunflower seed! How on earth could I possibly tell if it was a boy or girl? Geeze...like they are wearing blue or pink in utero.


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alisaterry*
Way to give someone the benefit of the doubt, ladies. Maybe next time you should ask someone what they meant first before you draw your own conclusions. You guys got a little mean there and it made the thread uncomfortable to read.









If honesty is mean, well... that's life and life is rarely comfortable for everyone.


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jmkteach*

However, they keep asking me if I know what we are having (boy or girl). I guess that's the normal question after "when are you due?" But...I"M ONLY 12 WEEKS PREGNANT!!!

I get that question all the time and people act shocked (even appalled) that I don't know baby's gender nor do I want to know. Not that I could find out, considering I'm UP/UC. Why is gender such a huge deal to people? I have a dd, if I have another dd,wonderful, if I have a ds, wonderful. What's the big deal?


----------



## Melissa S

When my son was born I did not prepare my nipples at all. With my girls I did and it made all the difference in the world at the ease of them learning to b/f. My son was third in birth order, you'd think I'd be abit smarter (sigh). He was a vaccuum!!!! I ended up with cracked, dry, bleeding nipples that in spite of treating with creams and tea bags did not let up. I persisted through the pain. I curled my toes and squeezed in my butt cheeks every time he nursed but I felt I did not have any other choice. He did not have a problem with it, he was feeding fine, and I knew I would heal. This problem was so bad that at one point (sorry if this is gross) he had MY blood in his poops. We made it through though and in a few weeks I healed. I'm very glad that I did. The funny thing was that I was not even "into" natural parenting then. I did not even know it existed, but I was going on instinct. Hope this encourages you.

Melissa


----------



## nmb

Jmkteach said:


> However, they keep asking me if I know what we are having (boy or girl). I guess that's the normal question after "when are you due?" But...I"M ONLY 12 WEEKS PREGNANT!!! Not to mention I had told a few people when I was only 8 weeks and they asked me. QUOTE]
> 
> I keep getting this one too! When I told my employer / co-workers, I was pregnant (at 7 wks!) that was the first question out of almost everyone. I just got the blood test back, less than an hour before I was asked the first time! Always immediately followed by "which do you want." Every now and again I'll have a fleeting preference, but this is my first, so really not concerned w/ gender. But it's what everyone asks.
> 
> Funny comment of my own, shortly after discovering I was pregnant (and this was a couple months ago, in early May) I was chastised for sitting outside during a break! It was a beautiful day, around 75, clear blue skies, with a nice breeze... and I'm told I need to go back inside 'cause I'm pregnant. Um, guys, I think the baby will be ok if I sit outdoors for a few minutes!!
> 
> I was also told I couldn't carry a laptop, I had to get someone to help me with it! (and not going far, from one office to an adjacent in the same building) Umm, laptops weigh what, like 2 oz nowadays? I can't imagine what any of you ladies who have toddlers during pregnancy do!


----------



## elmh23

When my SIL found out I was pregnant, she told me I better have a girl because she didn't want her girl (due in October, I'm due in February) to be in the same class as her boy cousin. This is the same SIL who while I was in labor with dd, told me she wanted the first girl (dd has 6 older boys cousins.) I told her I couldn't change the gender if the baby if it was a girl so she should just shut up (I didn't know what dd's gender was and didn't care, but I'd been in labor for 3 days and I was a little pissed off.)


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nmb*

I was also told I couldn't carry a laptop, I had to get someone to help me with it! (and not going far, from one office to an adjacent in the same building) Umm, laptops weigh what, like 2 oz nowadays? I can't imagine what any of you ladies who have toddlers during pregnancy do!









I got comments like that when we were moving this past April... I wasn't allowed to carry 20lb boxes but no one batted an eyelash when I picked up my 30lb toddler


----------



## AppleCrisp

nmb said:


> I keep getting this one too! When I told my employer / co-workers, I was pregnant (at 7 wks!) that was the first question out of almost everyone. I just got the blood test back, less than an hour before I was asked the first time! Always immediately followed by "which do you want." Every now and again I'll have a fleeting preference, but this is my first, so really not concerned w/ gender. But it's what everyone asks.
> 
> *We broke the news to the in-laws by giving them the print out from the 7 week ultrasound. My FIL looked at it and said "But what sex is it? I can't tell"
> 
> NEITHER CAN WE!!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> *


----------



## babywolverine

After several losses, I was pregnant again. When we were telling dh's family our good news, SIL had this to say "Well, let's hope this one decides to stick around", as if the other babies had a choice and decided to die rather than be parented by us. I know she didn't intend it that way, but we were already worried and didn't need to hear our fears articulated like that!


----------



## cinnamonamon

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CryPixie83*







I got comments like that when we were moving this past April... I wasn't allowed to carry 20lb boxes but no one batted an eyelash when I picked up my 30lb toddler









Yea, when I was pg with my first I waited tables. This one table of regulars (60 something year old ladies who had many *ahem* alterations) would always chastise me for clearing their table of plates as they were sooo heavy -- funny they didn't have a problem when I brought the plates _out_ though -- and they were full of food then. No, the only comments then (beyond, "huh, what?" as I asked them for the 3rd time to move their arms off the table so I could put their plates down) was "where's my drink?" (that I didn't want until my food was served)...I have 2 hands, ladies -- _two hands!_
















I did get the "don't raise your hands over your head or you'll strangle the baby" a couple times, though, and my coworkers were kinda squeamish about me climbing up the 7 foot ladder to the small platform to get supplies out of the storage room. Had to quit that around 7 1/2 mths pg...


----------



## Gendenwitha

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AmyAngel*
I was checking out at Wal Mart







: during lunch a week or two ago, and the couple in front of me had a TINY baby (like smaller than the newborns I've seen) still with the wristband on from the hospital! I suspect that they may have been foster or adoptive parents who realized they needed supplies on the way home. I was surprised, but was careful not to give them any "looks" other than "what a cute baby!" looks.

I went out to the store with my 1 day old because we needed wipes. I guess I'm just a bad mommy, I go out all over with babe, no big deal. He made the rounds with neighbor's arms at 2 days and today at 3wks we showed him off to grandma and made the rounds through the nursing home.

Although I thought I heard somewhere that it's actually safer for babies to be around germs the first 3 days because they still have mom's antibodies or immune level or something or other...

Dumbest thing for me was someone who didn't say a word, it was an action... the male NURSE IN AN ER who walked up to me looking away from me with a towel in his hands and covered me up while I was nursing. I laughed in his face (or at least the profile of it) and immediately yanked the towel off. Geez I hope I never get wounded in the chest and have to go to TG, this schmuck couldn't do his job.

And my best comeback unfortuntately didn't go to the coward who had a problem with my nursing my son in front of him, but the women in charge of the group who he had talk to me on his behalf:

My response: "You know, before I had kids, I had a pretty nice body. And I wore some REALLY skimpy outfits. Sometimes the only thing covering my breasts that wasn't see-through was a tiny piece of fabric over each of my nipples. And I NEVER had anyone come up to me and ask me to cover up because I was offending them. Yet somehow when I put that same amount of skin into a baby's mouth, people get offended. Sorry but I think it's those kind of people that have a problem, not me."

And after reading this, I have to say....








I love my family







I love my doctor







I love my birth attendants







I love my WIC nurse (Who's response to my very limited, very delayed vaxing was, "good, you've been reading the right materials then.")


----------



## Gendenwitha

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nikirj*
DS is different from the girls in everything from skin color to skeletal frame to size. But well, yeah, of course they are all from the same father. Genetics are lovely that way. We're both mixed so we can produce both extremes as well as the middle ground.

A friend of mine is from a family of four kids, all adopted from different parts of the world. A nosy sales clerk was dumbfounded when her mom said, "Yes, they DO all have the same father..." and even went so far to ask HOW was that possible.

Bet she felt stupid when her mom said, "Ever hear of adoption?"


----------



## Scootersquirt

Haha! These things are cracking me up (and making me angry at the same time! How ridiculous). Anyway, the dummest thing anyone has ever said to me was by my MIL. I have a four month old son and breastfeeding him just fine, have plenty of milk, and she tells me that I "better be drinking lots of hot chocolate to make sure that I have enough milk". What?! Since when did hot chocolate make breast milk?? Its amazing that my husband made it through childhood. haha.

She has also told me not to raise my hands above my head while I was pregnant. Not to let my son stand up yet (he loves to do that) because it will make him bowlegged. And she shakes her head in digust every time she asks if we've vaccinated him yet and the answer is still "NO".


----------



## elmh23

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Scootersquirt*
Not to let my son stand up yet (he loves to do that) because it will make him bowlegged.

My dd came out of the womb a bit bowlegged, but MIL still says it's because I would let her stand at 2 weeks old. Lets forget the fact that she herself is bowlegged a bit and so is dh! It's genetic. And has dd has gotten older, it's corrected itself!


----------



## wonderwahine

all babys are bowlegged for the first few weeks sometimes months, because they have been in the fetal position for so long, and alot of the time like the stay that way until they get older.


----------



## minkajane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Scootersquirt*
I have a four month old son and breastfeeding him just fine, have plenty of milk, and she tells me that I "better be drinking lots of hot chocolate to make sure that I have enough milk". What?! Since when did hot chocolate make breast milk?? Its amazing that my husband made it through childhood. haha.

I guess it's the idea that you have to drink milk to make milk. Ridiculous! I am not a milk drinker and I still had plenty of milk for DS!


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane*
I guess it's the idea that you have to drink milk to make milk. Ridiculous! I am not a milk drinker and I still had plenty of milk for DS!

I get this line of thinking, but how do people think cows and other animals make milk? I mean, who has ever seen an adult cow drinking a glass of milk in a field?


----------



## minkajane

It's the same people who get grossed out at the idea of HUMAN breastmilk but think that people should drink tons of COW breastmilk.


----------



## rmzbm

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane*
It's the same people who get grossed out at the idea of HUMAN breastmilk but think that people should drink tons of COW breastmilk.

I know! Isn't that strange?!


----------



## basmom

When my husband and I told his parents I was pregnant, my father in law said "Well, you'll have to start taking care of yourself now"...I work out 5-6 times per week, eat lots of fruits and veggies as well as lean proteins, drink water, take folic acid, etc... I replied, "Oh, I guess that means no more crack for breakfast, Darn!" He didn't have much advice after that.


----------



## MamaHippo

Quote:


Originally Posted by *FrozenMommy*
My mom calls them the "Terrific Twos"









My own mom (ebf, gentle parenting) has said that 3 and 4 are far worse than 2, and that the hardest ages for raising girls are 6 and 11 (she has 4 daughters).

Of course, then there come the teenage years...







:


----------



## Shenjall

mamahippo, I soooooo agree with your mom. I'm hating the 3-4 age right now......


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *basmom*
When my husband and I told his parents I was pregnant, my father in law said "Well, you'll have to start taking care of yourself now"...I work out 5-6 times per week, eat lots of fruits and veggies as well as lean proteins, drink water, take folic acid, etc... I replied, "Oh, I guess that means no more crack for breakfast, Darn!" He didn't have much advice after that.


----------



## spruce

*"Is she a good baby?"
Uhmmm...No, she's downright evil! She's horrendus! She even says the F-word!!! can you believe it?!?! And twice I have caught men in her bed!!!!!!! My baby is so naughty!!
*

With as many kids as we have, we've run into soooooooooo many asinine questions. This one takes the cake, and I still hear it (for 8 mo girliy girl)...

My standard answer is, "NO, she's devil spawn and we'll burn her for the witch she is tomorrowl"

heh heh
love, evil penelope


----------



## hsingmamato3

Quote:


Originally Posted by *spruce*
*"Is she a good baby?"
*
*
*
*
My favourite answers to this one is "Yes! He hasn't robbed a bank yet!!" or "No, but his parole officer holds high hopes for him"







*


----------



## spruce

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hsingmamato3*
My favourite answers to this one is "Yes! He hasn't robbed a bank yet!!" or "No, but his parole officer holds high hopes for him"









I love these answers!!!

love, p


----------



## sunshinesister

When wearing dd in a wrap facing my chest, not once but twice, people have asked me if i was sure she wasn't sufficating in there. yeah, she's actually been dead for several days...i just like to keep her around...







:


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sunshinesister*
When wearing dd in a wrap facing my chest, not once but twice, people have asked me if i was sure she wasn't sufficating in there. yeah, she's actually been dead for several days...i just like to keep her around...







:

Like you wouldn't notice if you couldn't feel your baby breathing as she's wrapped against your chest? I remember before we found a carrier we like and didn't know any better we always carried dd around in the bucket carrier (cause that's what you're supposed to do







) and we were always stopping to check to make sure she was breathing, too hot, too cold.... ugh never again... babywearing all the way this time around.


----------



## Smalls181

I havent been able to read all of the posts (101 pages, I dont think so!) but the wprst thing ever said to me was by DH's grandpa. Scarlett was around 2 months at the time, and as we were all sitting down to dinner she started to fuss. DH and I have a system worked out for when she is fussy during our mealtime, but grandpa told us "just put her in the other room while we eat and let het cry, it will xtrengthen her lungs"







In my mind I was thinking "no thanks, I rather have a happy and secure baby than one with strong lungs." Where do people get these things from?!


----------



## MelissaEvans

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Smalls181*
Where do people get these things from?!

I think often times it's to rationlize what they did to their own kids. Maybe they heard it from someone else and didn't bother to think about it - they just sheepishly followed the advice. "And my kid turned out fine..." *sigh*


----------



## guestmama9911




----------



## Eli's_mommy

When I was pregnant, I talked to someone I know about how I was reading up on circ because I didn't know that much about it and wasn't sure it was such a good idea. She said, oh stop reading so damn much and just do it because you're supposed to.


----------



## Laniemel

This has to be the dumbest, funniest thing I've heard. While I was in the hospital after having dd, my grandfather was visiting. I was holding dd and she put her little fist up to her mouth. My grandfather freaked out and said "get her hand away from her mouth, she's gonna suffocate herself!" We still joke about that. Whenever he says something that's kind of out there, we put our fists up to our mouths and fling our fingers open, and say "don't make me do it!" It's like me and my mom's sign for "cra-zay"


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Eli's_mommy*
When I was pregnant, I talked to someone I know about how I was reading up on circ because I didn't know that much about it and wasn't sure it was such a good idea. She said, oh stop reading so damn much and just do it because you're supposed to.

















Baaaaa


----------



## guestmama9911

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Eli's_mommy*
When I was pregnant, I talked to someone I know about how I was reading up on circ because I didn't know that much about it and wasn't sure it was such a good idea. She said, oh stop reading so damn much and just do it because you're supposed to.









Doesn't that pretty much sum up society!!!!


----------



## Awaken

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Laniemel*
We still joke about that. Whenever he says something that's kind of out there, we put our fists up to our mouths and fling our fingers open, and say "don't make me do it!" It's like me and my mom's sign for "cra-zay"


----------



## Mama8

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Laniemel*
This has to be the dumbest, funniest thing I've heard. While I was in the hospital after having dd, my grandfather was visiting. I was holding dd and she put her little fist up to her mouth. My grandfather freaked out and said "get her hand away from her mouth, she's gonna suffocate herself!" We still joke about that. Whenever he says something that's kind of out there, we put our fists up to our mouths and fling our fingers open, and say "don't make me do it!" It's like me and my mom's sign for "cra-zay"









That reminds me when our daughter was born my dh was holding her and lovingly looking down at her. All of a sudden he looked up with horror in his eyes and asked "WHERE is her finger!" He really thought he had broken it off somehow. He asked in front of his whole family and has yet to live it down. Like babies break apart from holding them!


----------



## eandasmom

Some of these are too good.

My mom called and left me a very stern voice mail when my daughter was 3 days old, "K, be SURE you are feeding Allison. It is VERY important. Call me later."

Geez mom thanks, I'm 31 and already have one kid, I'm pretty certain Allison isn't going to let me forget about her! DUH


----------



## namjaball

O.K. so today I brought my 3 month old DD out to a clothing store so I could get some pants that actually fit. DH is out of town working and has been gone for almost two weeks. I guess I am already really pressed to my limit, but the comments that I got from three different women just made me so mad. Comment #1: "If you hold her like that, her legs are going to be permantely sepreated(bracketed)". First of all, I had her on my hip because she was complaining in the sling. Second, "Do you want to hold her?", because this is the only thing I have done for myself in a while, and you are making it harder. Comment #2: "You're choking her, she's all red. She dosen't like to wear a hat?" What, are you crazy, she is not choking. I have her in my arms holding her while I manuever a shooping cart with the car seat that I brought because I thought she would sit in it. She happens to be fair skinned and with the slightest bit of sun she gets red. uhhhhh. I'm with her 24/7 and do everything I can to make her existence more comfortable and enriched. It's so fustrating when you are constantly making sure they are safe and happy, and a stranger underminds your ability as a parent. It was also annoying that I was just trying t o buy some pants for myself, and the whole trip was ruined by nosey strangers.


----------



## jayayenay

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eandasmom*
My mom called and left me a very stern voice mail when my daughter was 3 days old, "K, be SURE you are feeding Allison. It is VERY important. Call me later."









Wow. What on earth did you say the next time you talked to her? <sarcasm>Omg, you have to FEED them when they're that little????</sarcasm>


----------



## TinyFrog

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eandasmom*
Some of these are too good.

My mom called and left me a very stern voice mail when my daughter was 3 days old, "K, be SURE you are feeding Allison. It is VERY important. Call me later."

I would have to save that message and play it over and over to her.









I love this thread. Lots of good combacks that I am sure I'll need someday.


----------



## cellarstella

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eandasmom*
Some of these are too good.

My mom called and left me a very stern voice mail when my daughter was 3 days old, "K, be SURE you are feeding Allison. It is VERY important. Call me later."

Geez mom thanks, I'm 31 and already have one kid, I'm pretty certain Allison isn't going to let me forget about her! DUH

this sounds like my mom! Most of her advice is right, but it's just so obvious and inane that I haven't bothered to post it. We were going on a day trip and she said, "make sure you pack a hat, and extra diapers, and..." I finally just said, "Mom, you're forgetting something: I'm a mom. I'll pack more than enough stuff."

I almost want to say, "Thanks so much for your advice! If it wasn't for you I'd just keep blindly neglecting my child!"


----------



## AppleCrisp

OK...I have to post this. My MIL is the queen of pessimists (I do love her though). Her creativity in thinking up bad things that could happen from routine daily activities is truly amazing. When she heard we were co-sleeping, she told us that we should get bed rails right away, because she let her daughter (my SIL) sleep in bed with her, and one time she fell out, and she thinks it "damaged her pancreas", leading to Type I diabetes.







: DH keeps telling her its an autoimmune disease, not likely to occur from falling out of bed, and we feel quite safe from damaged pancreas due to co-sleeping, but there's no stopping her!

....I guess I should just be glad she knows about co-sleeping at all!


----------



## DQMama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Smalls181*
I havent been able to read all of the posts (101 pages, I dont think so!) but the wprst thing ever said to me was by DH's grandpa. Scarlett was around 2 months at the time, and as we were all sitting down to dinner she started to fuss. DH and I have a system worked out for when she is fussy during our mealtime, but grandpa told us "just put her in the other room while we eat and let het cry, it will xtrengthen her lungs"







In my mind I was thinking "no thanks, I rather have a happy and secure baby than one with strong lungs." Where do people get these things from?!

What is it with our grandparents' generation and the strong lungs reason for CIO??? I come from a pretty AP family. My mom and I lived with my grandma when I was young and I shared a bed with my mom. When she started dating again I remember sleeping with my grandma and I loved it, we did it for years, many times even when my mom was home in the evenings. But my grandma has repeatedly told me to let my babies cry, it will strengthen their lungs







:


----------



## Nora'sMama

DQmama, not all of our grandmas got that advice...my grandma loves to talk about when her 4 kids were babies...she kept them in her room (in a crib) for at least a year so she could go to them quickly when they cried.







She talks so lovingly about those days, it's awesome.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ahwuko*
OK...I have to post this. My MIL is the queen of pessimists (I do love her though). Her creativity in thinking up bad things that could happen from routine daily activities is truly amazing. When she heard we were co-sleeping, she told us that we should get bed rails right away, because she let her daughter (my SIL) sleep in bed with her, and one time she fell out, and she thinks it "damaged her pancreas", leading to Type I diabetes. DH keeps telling her its an autoimmune disease, not likely to occur from falling out of bed, and we feel quite safe from damaged pancreas due to co-sleeping, but there's no stopping her!

That is hilarious!


----------



## cinnamonamon

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DQMama*
What is it with our grandparents' generation and the strong lungs reason for CIO???

It isn't only that generation -- my sister (who had kids a few years before me) fed me that line of crap when ds1 was a baby. The "what kind of idiot are you" look on my face made her stop & think about it, though. I hardly responded beyond the, "no babies are born with fully functioning lungs (after their first breath, of course)."


----------



## CryPixie83

Crying is good for the lungs like bleeding is good for the veins....

I don't remember who said that (someone on MDC) but I always think of it whenever the "crying is good for babies" crap rears it's head.


----------



## AppleCrisp

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Nora'sMama*

That is hilarious!

I could go on and on....she recently called out of the blue to tell DH that she "knows now why he doesn't like vegetables" - she thinks he's a "super-taster" due to "too many papillae on his taste buds." Could our son be a super taster too?! Dear Lord, no!! Not a super taster!


----------



## medicmama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PumpkinSeeds*
My MIL said that by nursing my ds I was going to turn him into a homosexual.









That may be the funniest thing i have herd today!


----------



## guestmama9911

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DQMama*
What is it with our grandparents' generation and the strong lungs reason for CIO??? I come from a pretty AP family. My mom and I lived with my grandma when I was young and I shared a bed with my mom. When she started dating again I remember sleeping with my grandma and I loved it, we did it for years, many times even when my mom was home in the evenings. But my grandma has repeatedly told me to let my babies cry, it will strengthen their lungs







:

I can't recall the name but there was a notoriously popular parenting book that came out in the early 1900's that gave all kinds of awful advice like scheduling feedings four hours apart and how picking up babies too much can actually stunt their development. I am sure our grandparents believed they were getting the most current and well-researched advice.


----------



## MommyofPunkiePie

My Mother just the other day told me that instead of reading books about Positive Parenting and Discipline, I should be using *common sense* when it comes to my daughter and her big displays of emotion.









Like the fact that her two year molars are coming in (one down, three to go...) has *nothing* to do with her temperament either!


----------



## Charles Baudelaire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PumpkinSeeds*
My MIL said that by nursing my ds I was going to turn him into a homosexual.

Yeah, that's why so many homosexual men want to play with women's breasts. Didn't you know that?


----------



## ssolberg99

:


----------



## Eli's_mommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ahwuko*
I could go on and on....she recently called out of the blue to tell DH that she "knows now why he doesn't like vegetables" - she thinks he's a "super-taster" due to "too many papillae on his taste buds." Could our son be a super taster too?! Dear Lord, no!! Not a super taster!


----------



## North_Of_60

I got a funny one, well it was to me, after talking to my mom last night.

I was telling her about how DD stole a piece of watermelon off my MIL's plate and shoved it in her mouth. Her FIRST taste of solids, even if it didn't last very long.

Anyway, my mom was like "no, no, no... pablum first!!". Of course I had to give her my whole speech on delaying solids until she has teeth and can self feed. The line went dead. "You're going BF until she has teeth???" LOL! It was so funny.

I was thinking "yeah ma', then some...".

Still cracks me up.


----------



## Kaitnbugsmom

x posted from diagnosis denial...

My MIL had a gem for me today mind you, Em is dh & I 's only living child together....a fact my MIL loves to rub in and use as another reason to hate on me..

"You need to quit giving Em breast milk now that's she's a year old, and stop using that carrier. You did those things with your older two, and look how they turned out."

Yeah, first of all, I didn't wear or bf my 7 y/o aspie, and she had hydrocephalus from about 3 weeks in utero or whenever the brain forms {brainfart moment here} and second of all, BM and AP have NOTHING to do with my 5 year olds tantrums and sleep issues. Those stem from living with my parents and then the divorce and all that..

:grrr:


----------



## lasciate

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ahwuko*
I could go on and on....she recently called out of the blue to tell DH that she "knows now why he doesn't like vegetables" - she thinks he's a "super-taster" due to "too many papillae on his taste buds." Could our son be a super taster too?! Dear Lord, no!! Not a super taster!

My husband is a super taster and he LOVES vegetables - there isn't one he won't eat.


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kaitnbugsmom*
x posted from diagnosis denial...

My MIL had a gem for me today mind you, Em is dh & I 's only living child together....a fact my MIL loves to rub in and use as another reason to hate on me..

"You need to quit giving Em breast milk now that's she's a year old, and stop using that carrier. You did those things with your older two, and look how they turned out."

Yeah, first of all, I didn't wear or bf my 7 y/o aspie, and she had hydrocephalus from about 3 weeks in utero or whenever the brain forms {brainfart moment here} and second of all, BM and AP have NOTHING to do with my 5 year olds tantrums and sleep issues. Those stem from living with my parents and then the divorce and all that..

:grrr:

how hard did you slap her?







:


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ahwuko*
I could go on and on....she recently called out of the blue to tell DH that she "knows now why he doesn't like vegetables" - she thinks he's a "super-taster" due to "too many papillae on his taste buds." Could our son be a super taster too?! Dear Lord, no!! Not a super taster!

All about "super tasters" Basically, people who are super tasters can detect minute amounts of bitterness in certain foods, such as many vegetables and find them nasty as a result. Of course, why your MIL was in a panic over this possibility, I don't know.


----------



## AppleCrisp

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan*
All about "super tasters" Basically, people who are super tasters can detect minute amounts of bitterness in certain foods, such as many vegetables and find them nasty as a result. Of course, why your MIL was in a panic over this possibility, I don't know.


There really is such a thing as a super taster!? I totally thought she made that up! She was trying to make herself feel better because her son (DH) refuses to eat any form of vegetable or fruit and if he's a super taster, it somehow means its not her fault. Go figure!!


----------



## Kaitnbugsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CryPixie83*
how hard did you slap her?







:

I didn't. I resisted. Like I said in denial thread, that's pretty mild compared to some of her other cracks. She told me when dd #1 was dx'd with hydrocephalus, {not her son's child mind you, we had split up four years prior at that point} that it was 'probably due to you running around all the time" Mind you the running around she was referring to was PAID PR WORK FOR A RODEO COMPANY, MAKING MORE $$ THAN SHE HAS EVER MADE IN HER LIFE. She ASSumed, because I worked in a male dominant business {which to her isn't a real business} and my best friends were all guys, that I was 'loose' or whatever... she has _major issues_


----------



## fireant

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lasergirl*
Crying is good for their lungs. No comeback from me-- I had to pick my jaw up from the floor!!!!!

OOHHH My MIL says this one to me. When I respond to Marlow when she cries I am told that I am hurting her lung development.

I'm also supposed to not feed her when she cries for at least 15 minutes so she will be able to go longer and longer between feedings....which of course should include some rice cereal by 2 weeks.

It's so annoying because my MIL wants to argue about how we raise our baby.

This weekend at a wedding she fed the baby some cake. I guess my DH freaked out and his mom is pretty upset about it.


----------



## Kaitnbugsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Marlow's mom*
OOHHH My MIL says this one to me. When I attend to Marlow when she cries I am told that I am hurting her lung development.

I'm also supposed to not feed her when she cries for at least 15 minutes so she will be able to go longer and longer between feedings....which of course should include some rice cereal by 2 weeks.

It's so annoying because my MIL wants to argue about how we raise our baby.

This weekend at a wedding she fed the baby some cake. I guess my DH freaked out and his mom is pretty upset about it.

Good for your DH. i wish.... ahn, never happen.


----------



## fireant

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CryPixie83*
I get that question all the time and people act shocked (even appalled) that I don't know baby's gender nor do I want to know. Not that I could find out, considering I'm UP/UC. Why is gender such a huge deal to people? I have a dd, if I have another dd,wonderful, if I have a ds, wonderful. What's the big deal?

When I was pregnant I went to a baby shower where the family knew they were having a girl and they registered for everything in very girly styles and very pink. One of the other guests asked me if I was having a boy or a girl? and I told them that we weren't going to find out the gender...and her teenage daughter turned to me and asked "then how are you going to have a baby shower?"

It never occurred to her that there are gender neutral items out there!


----------



## fireant

Quote:


Originally Posted by *spruce*
*"Is she a good baby?"
Uhmmm...No, she's downright evil! She's horrendus! She even says the F-word!!! can you believe it?!?! And twice I have caught men in her bed!!!!!!! My baby is so naughty!!
*

With as many kids as we have, we've run into soooooooooo many asinine questions. This one takes the cake, and I still hear it (for 8 mo girliy girl)...

My standard answer is, "NO, she's devil spawn and we'll burn her for the witch she is tomorrowl"











I say "no, she steals".


----------



## Alienmum

Neighbour: Does your baby cry a lot?
DH: No.
Neighbour: Oh, mine did. That's because he has strong lungs.







:


----------



## sapphire_chan

Doesn't your neighbor know that crying causes strong lungs not the other way around?







: There are apparently tons of people who would be willing to correct her/him.


----------



## Ivan's Mom

My stupid doctors thought my baby was really big for gestational age so they sent me for many Level 2 ultrasounds.

During the first one, the doctor said that the signs were there of Down's Syndrome because baby's head was bigger than the femur, or some ratio.

During the next Level 2 u/s a different doctor said that the difference was even more. So I said, "does this mean there is more of a chance of Down's Syndrome?"

This doctor got very loud and said that we were past the opportunity to talk about Down's Syndrome. Because I had refused an amniosintesis, we would never know and anyway "IT IS TOO LATE TO ABORT!!!!!"
















Can you imagine saying that to a pregnant mommy? What an evil bitch.









Ivan was fine. He was not that big and we had an unnecessary c-section.


----------



## guestmama9911

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ivan's Mom*
My stupid doctors thought my baby was really big for gestational age so they sent me for many Level 2 ultrasounds.

During the first one, the doctor said that the signs were there of Down's Syndrome because baby's head was bigger than the femur, or some ratio.

During the next Level 2 u/s a different doctor said that the difference was even more. So I said, "does this mean there is more of a chance of Down's Syndrome?"

This doctor got very loud and said that we were past the opportunity to talk about Down's Syndrome. Because I had refused an amniosintesis, we would never know and anyway "IT IS TOO LATE TO ABORT!!!!!"
















Can you imagine saying that to a pregnant mommy? What an evil bitch.









Ivan was fine. He was not that big and we had an unnecessary c-section.























I also had an unnecessary c-section. I am sorry for what you must have felt at the time. It is very hard to recover from feeling like you should have known better or done more. I'm glad you and your baby are fine!


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ivan's Mom*

This doctor got very loud and said that we were past the opportunity to talk about Down's Syndrome. Because I had refused an amniosintesis, we would never know and anyway "IT IS TOO LATE TO ABORT!!!!!"
















Why do doctors and nurses assume that because a child has Down's the parents want to abort?







:


----------



## Ivan's Mom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CryPixie83*
Why do doctors and nurses assume that because a child has Down's the parents want to abort?







:

I really do not know. The doctors that I dealt with during my pregnancy were jerks. I just do not get it. This one actually yelled that comment at me. For her to assume that I would abort my child is sickening. I believe she had the







in her. Both she and her tech were so rough with me. They both pressed so hard with the u/s scanner thing....pressed really hard into my naval. Such mean jerks!!


----------



## angelpie545

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ivan's Mom*
I really do not know. The doctors that I dealt with during my pregnancy were jerks. I just do not get it. This one actually yelled that comment at me. For her to assume that I would abort my child is sickening. I believe she had the







in her. Both she and her tech were so rough with me. They both pressed so hard with the u/s scanner thing....pressed really hard into my naval. Such mean jerks!!









I would have gotten off the table and walked straight out and found a different doctor. How awful! People like that should not be working in the medical field. Being in the medical field, especially when dealing with aspects of childbirth and pregnant women, requires compassion, professionalism, tact, and empathy. Qualities which those doctors obviously do not have! I don't understand how docs like that stay in business.


----------



## Ivan's Mom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *angelpie545*
I would have gotten off the table and walked straight out and found a different doctor. How awful! People like that should not be working in the medical field. Being in the medical field, especially when dealing with aspects of childbirth and pregnant women, requires compassion, professionalism, tact, and empathy. Qualities which those doctors obviously do not have! I don't understand how docs like that stay in business.

Yep, I am so dumb for not finding out stuff beforehand. I was blind...now I can see! I just went to my parent's house and cried my eyes out. I then called my husband and asked him what he thought about the Dr. He hated her too. He called her back and asked her to repeat the medical info about the visit since my ears stopped working when she said the crap about killing my sweet child.









I had good intentions about my pregnancy, everything got screwed up along the way.


----------



## Ivan's Mom

Funny ones:

When I was pregnant my neighbor told me that I was the "biggest pregnant woman she ever saw!"







And she wanted me to reassure her that she was not as big as me when she was pregnant.









Also, when my husband and I were out to eat with Ivan, we let him have a lemon slice. The woman at the next table was shocked and told me that she had never seen anyone give a baby (12 months old at the time) a lemon. She says that her children's doctor told her that it would "dry up their blood."


----------



## MamaVolpe

This is a funny story about how out of touch with nature a lot of people are.

I worked at this comparison farm park that had pigs, chickens and cows of modern breeds and older breeds. Lots of people stopped by and I was the park's interperter. I explained about the animals an the differences between the different types we had. Now we had two cows one boy (neutered) and one girl (who had not had a baby yet). One day this mom stopped by holding the hand of a toddler and carrying an infant in her arms. She told her little toddler that both the cows were boys and I corrected her telling her which one was a girl. The mother asked why the girl cow did not have any large udders (like on milk commercials). I told her it was because she had not had a baby yet. The mom asked what does that have to do with it?







: I just asked her when her milk came in. This look came across her face







like it was just dawning on her that what what works for one mammal might work for others. I had the hardest time not laughing in front of her.























I went behind the barn later and laughed my self silly. It is crazy how out of touch people are with the natural world. So much of people's perceptions come from TV and commercials. One time a father stopped by with his son and were checking out the chickens. The father told the son that chicken's couldn't fly just like in the movie Chicken Run. He was quite startled when the chicken flew right over the fence at him. I just laughed







and explained that not everything in the movies was real, especially cartoons.























I got so many great stories from that job.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ivan's Mom*
When I was pregnant my neighbor told me that I was the "biggest pregnant woman she ever saw!"







And she wanted me to reassure her that she was not as big as me when she was pregnant. 









Were you able to resist temptation? "How can I possibly say you weren't as big as me? That would be a lie...."

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ivan's Mom*
Also, when my husband and I were out to eat with Ivan, we let him have a lemon slice. The woman at the next table was shocked and told me that she had never seen anyone give a baby (12 months old at the time) a lemon. She says that her children's doctor told her that it would "dry up their blood."

















I wonder if she was actually told this or if she's one of those people who think their ideas'll sound better if they claim they got them from a doctor.


----------



## fireant

Oh I have another one:

When my DD was still in the NICU my dad (a practioner) called and told me when he was doing his residency in the children's ward of a hospital everyone's motto was "anything you do will kill them, and anything you don't do will kill them".

I was shocked!

Thanks dad for making me think my baby was going to die.


----------



## Caroline248

My MIL told me yesterday that some woman have to formula feed because not all woman make nutricious breastmilk...

you know, those woman that spew soda from their nipples....

Oh, and a doctor told my SIL that!!







(so it must be true, right??)

~C~


----------



## CryPixie83

Yesterday dh, dd and I went out to eat at a steak and buffet place. As we were leaving dd wanted to wash her hands so dh took her to the restroom. While I'm waiting in the entry/exit area this young-ish grandmother looks at my huge belly and tells me to take a good look (at her 3 grandkids) and stop at one. Her daughter tells her it's too late, that my dd is with my dh in the bathroom. Then the daughter proceeds to tell me how either 2 or all three (don't remember) of her kids were birth control kids, and her last one ("this one here", patting his head) was a slipped IUD or something along those lines. I explained that this was indeed my last baby(because it is), but inside I was so shocked that someone would say that in front of their poor kids







She might as well have said we didn't want these kids but we're stuck with them... that's the tone she had...


----------



## janerose

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CryPixie83*
Why do doctors and nurses assume that because a child has Down's the parents want to abort?







:

You know, I've been wondering this myself. I really like my midwives group, but EVERY single appointment I've been in for so far (like 5) I get asked about the various screening tests. I'd been politely declining them each time, but it was really starting to bug me. This last time I finally said that NO I didn't want them, I'd already told them that like 4 or 5 times, and to please mark it in my chart or something because they were making me feel like there was something wrong with *me* because I refused the tests. I also added (again -- I've said this previously) that we're not doing it because the results won't matter. I would never abort a pregnancy regardless of how disabled the child would be.

That seems to be a really hard concept for some people to get. My mom has a really close friend who has a grandaughter with Downs. She's the most adorable, sweetest, gentlest little girl in the world. And yes, she is a lot of work for her parents. Much more so than her older brother, but still..... Do I *want* a child with Downs? Of course not. But that doesn't mean I'd abort a pregancy just because of that. Sad how some people view people with disabilities like they're less worthy or disposable or something.









Holly


----------



## Ivan's Mom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *janerose*
Sad how some people view people with disabilities like they're less worthy or disposable or something.








Holly

I agree with you on this point, and I also feel that way about any unborn child, disabilities or not. My dh's boss is going to be a grandmom again and her DIL had an ultrasound. Twins, 6 weeks along in mommy and they already saw the heartbeats







I can't imagine how anyone can say that unborn children are not people and are disposable.


----------



## ConfusedPrincess

Ok I was told that "it's ok to leave children alone if you're just running to the store for -20 min. if they're over a year old"







: Oh I was also told "it's best to give your infant real food asap b/c they will grow up faster" so i said but babies insides aren't fully deveopled to like 6 months so she told me "well my doctor was proud when my son strating eating real food at 2 months"







No wonder the poor thing has *terrible* stomache and digestive problems...


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ConfusedPrincess*
Oh I was also told "it's best to give your infant real food asap b/c they will grow up faster"

What's the rush??? Let them be babies for crying out loud!


----------



## senke

The nurse running the childbirth class said to the class "It's really too bad they don't give out formula samples in the hospital anymore [the hospital here is trying to become baby-friendly]. You really should have some around just in case."

"Just in case"?!? In case what? My boobs fall off??

This same woman was asked by one of the pregnant woman "How long is it good to breastfeed?" and responded "There's no reason to breastfeed more than six months. After that, just switch to formula."

One of the most useless classes I've taken. The attitude was "Well, of course you're all going to want epidurals, so..."

Needless to say, we're not using that practice again for any future children...


----------



## minkajane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Caroline248*
My MIL told me yesterday that some woman have to formula feed because not all woman make nutricious breastmilk...

you know, those woman that spew soda from their nipples....

Oh, and a doctor told my SIL that!!







(so it must be true, right??)

~C~

A lot of doctors back in the days of "formula is better because it's more scientific" used to have a woman express some breastmilk, then would tell her it's not good enough because it's too thin or the wrong color. Of course, they were getting foremilk, so it's going to be thin! My great-aunt told me at a wedding shower "I wanted to BF, but my milk was too thin." She seemed so sad about it that I didn't have the heart to tell her that she could have and her doctor was wrong or lied to her.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *janerose*
You know, I've been wondering this myself. I really like my midwives group, but EVERY single appointment I've been in for so far (like 5) I get asked about the various screening tests. I'd been politely declining them each time, but it was really starting to bug me. This last time I finally said that NO I didn't want them, I'd already told them that like 4 or 5 times, and to please mark it in my chart or something because they were making me feel like there was something wrong with *me* because I refused the tests. I also added (again -- I've said this previously) that we're not doing it because the results won't matter. I would never abort a pregnancy regardless of how disabled the child would be.

My mother was 35 when she had my little brother and she was part of the study to do the first blood testing for Down's. She decided to do the testing because she wanted to be mentally prepared and to have her support systems in place and ready to go if the testing was positive. Basically, knowing that he might have Down's syndrome would have changed how she handled things for getting ready for him so she had the test. I don't know how the test came out, but he was fine.


----------



## thomlynn

We ended up at a hospital for dd's birth (my contractions fizzled out at 9cm and I need pit







: ) so the nurses where looking at me like I was crazy for wanting to take home the placenta (we had to get permission) and wanting my husband catch the baby. After she came we were looking at her as all new parents do rather than sleeping like we needed to







so the nurse comes in and offers Tylenol which I refused. About an hour later when I finally tried to sleep I couldn't b/c of the pain so I pushed the
call button and asked for the Tylenol (sp). Another nurse brought it to me and I took it. About 45min later my nurse brings in a pill for me to take. I look at it and it didn't look like the Tylenol she offered earlier (she didn't know I already got some) and I asked her what it was. It was percaset (sp??). DH told me not to take it b/c it would knock me out and she said it wouldn't. DH insisted it would and she continued to deny that until I said DH is a pharmacist, then she took her pill and left. I'm so glad I asked for the Tylenol before b/c I would have assumed that's what she was giving me since that's what she offered before. Anyhow I thought that was a little sneaky.

Members of our Sunday School class take turns bringing dinner to new parents when they get home from hospital or whatever. When dd was two weeks old one woman stopped by to bring us dinner. When she noticed dh holding dd while she was sleeping the woman asked how long he'd been holding her like that.
Me: For a few minutes
Her: That was a good thing about sending ____ to daycare. They're taking care of so many babies he didn't get used to being held.

















OK my book is over.


----------



## Sharondio

Quote:


Originally Posted by *senke*
One of the most useless classes I've taken. The attitude was "Well, of course you're all going to want epidurals, so..."

I took a childbirth class at the big teaching hospital where I'd hoped to use the ABC. It was hard. The educator was obviously trying, but most of the women were just interested in finding out how soon they could get the epidural.

So, she asked a question...

"What is a reason for having a C-section?"

I couldn't help myself.

"Doctor has an early tee-time?"


----------



## thomlynn

"Doctor has an early tee-time?"


----------



## CryPixie83

Is percoset (sp) even approved for nursing moms???


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sharondio*
I took a childbirth class at the big teaching hospital where I'd hoped to use the ABC. It was hard. The educator was obviously trying, but most of the women were just interested in finding out how soon they could get the epidural.

So, she asked a question...

"What is a reason for having a C-section?"

I couldn't help myself.

"Doctor has an early tee-time?"









too true. What kind of response did you get?


----------



## Ivan's Mom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thomlynn*

Members of our Sunday School class take turns bringing dinner to new parents when they get home from hospital or whatever. When dd was two weeks old one woman stopped by to bring us dinner. When she noticed dh holding dd while she was sleeping the woman asked how long he'd been holding her like that.
Me: For a few minutes
Her: That was a good thing about sending ____ to daycare. They're taking care of so many babies he didn't get used to being held.

















OK my book is over.









Oh how true this is!!







I have worked in about a dozen different day care centers, from the ones for the wealthy to the ones for the mother's getting aide from the gov't. They all have that one very spoken rule in common........"Do Not Hold the Children!" "They get spoiled that way."





















They won't tell the parent's this, it is what takes place when no parents are around. Be warned!


----------



## thomlynn

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ivan's Mom*
Oh how true this is!!







I have worked in about a dozen different day care centers, from the ones for the wealthy to the ones for the mother's getting aide from the gov't. They all have that one very spoken rule in common........"Do Not Hold the Children!" "They get spoiled that way."





















They won't tell the parent's this, it is what takes place when no parents are around. Be warned!


This parent was glad they didn't hold her child. SHE didn't want him spoiled not the other way around. I find that more upsetting than the day care issue personally.


----------



## guestmama9911

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thomlynn*
About 45min later my nurse brings in a pill for me to take. I look at it and it didn't look like the Tylenol she offered earlier (she didn't know I already got some) and I asked her what it was. It was percaset (sp??). DH told me not to take it b/c it would knock me out and she said it wouldn't. DH insisted it would and she continued to deny that until I said DH is a pharmacist, then she took her pill and left. I'm so glad I asked for the Tylenol before b/c I would have assumed that's what she was giving me since that's what she offered before. Anyhow I thought that was a little sneaky.

Take that you







nurse!


----------



## Ivan's Mom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thomlynn*
This parent was glad they didn't hold her child. SHE didn't want him spoiled not the other way around. I find that more upsetting than the day care issue personally.

Yes, a parent that does not want to hold her child or for her child to be held because she doesn't want the child to expect it is a bad mother IMO. I have real issues with day care centers since I went to college and got a BS in Child Development and learned all this great stuff about properly caring for children in group settings and I found that it is virtually never put into practice. I say virtually because I am sure there are exceptions, like me for instance and my classrooms.

IMO daycare stinks. The lack of care







: , the restricted cuddle time







, and the constant booger nose







:







:.


----------



## AmyAngel

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ivan's Mom*
Oh how true this is!!







I have worked in about a dozen different day care centers, from the ones for the wealthy to the ones for the mother's getting aide from the gov't. They all have that one very spoken rule in common........"Do Not Hold the Children!" "They get spoiled that way."





















They won't tell the parent's this, it is what takes place when no parents are around. Be warned!

Oh that's so sad! I worked at 2 centers during college, and in both of those we held the kids as much as possible! One of them even staffed the baby room with grandmas whose only jobs were to rock and feed babies. I know that I always tried to hold the babies while feeding them, sometimes with a toddler on my lap as well. Of course with more kids than teachers they couldn't be held all the time, but we did hold them for feedings, whenever they seemed to need it, and whenever we were otherwise able to do so. I know I had a kid in my arms and/or on my lap practically all day every day.

Luckily I don't remember any of the parents saying anything about not holding their kid, but I'm not the least bit surprised that it happens.


----------



## cinnamonamon

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CryPixie83*
Is percoset (sp) even approved for nursing moms???

I don't know if it is, but it made my ds2 scream bloody murder everytime I took one (after my c/s). When I figured it out & switched to Motrin the nurses (and doctor) thought I was stupid & the very idea was ludicrious (sp?). It was amazing that although it "wasn't possible" he stopped screaming when I switched. Humpfh.


----------



## ConfusedPrincess

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CryPixie83*
What's the rush??? Let them be babies for crying out loud!

I know right?! I mean what's the point of having a child if you're pushing them to grow up so fast-you only get 18 years to be "innocent" and technically care free-then you have decades of being an adult...


----------



## sapphire_chan

the idea of grannies in daycares just to give babies more holding. If a baby has to go to a daycare for some reason they should still get cuddles.


----------



## Jill0905

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ConfusedPrincess*
Ok I was told that "it's ok to leave children alone if you're just running to the store for -20 min. if they're over a year old"







:


Well i wish i had know that! i would have not carried ds everywhere!!!
















:


----------



## ashleyhaugh

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ivan's Mom*

Also, when my husband and I were out to eat with Ivan, we let him have a lemon slice. The woman at the next table was shocked and told me that she had never seen anyone give a baby (12 months old at the time) a lemon. She says that her children's doctor told her that it would "dry up their blood."









i never heard that, lol

but we did get some funny looks when me, dh (then db, we were about 17) and my mom took dh's nephew out with us for pasta..... we ate pasta, and his 13/14 month old nephew ate a whole bowl of lemon slices, lol


----------



## monkeymommy

Funny stories, peoples!!!







Here's mine:

When ds was 1 wk old, dh's Mam (grandma) & Aunt came to visit. Mam had 8 kids, all BF, of which said Aunt is the oldest.

Aunt asked me where ds sleeps, I said "In my arms!"

She proceeded to tell me how "Oh no, *Dr. Phil* says you shouldn't sleep with your babies!" (Dr. Phil...







...is he even a Dr.??!)

I replied, "Well, I figure he's been used to being *inside me* for the first 9 months of his life, the least I can do is let him be *beside me* now."

Mam smiled at me, looked pointedly at Aunt, and said indignantly, "Well, I slept with *ALL* of mine."

I love dh's Mam!!!


----------



## stanswife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Amanda*
I wanted to tell a nice story too...
One afternoon I was at my grandma's and I took a nap while she watched dd for me. When I woke up my grandma said, "I just walked her and held her the whole time you slept, she's only happy when you hold her. You've really spoiled her."
and I relplied to my grandma something like "I guess I have."
and grandma said, "isn't it great spoiling babies!" and she was smiling. My grandma told me she never let one of her 4 babies cry...and that my mom never let me cry either. She said my grandpa didn't think it was right to let a baby cry.








Just wanted to add that there are a few older AP parents out there! Imagine being AP in the 1950's????

I love that! I wasn't AP'ed as a child, but I bet that made you feel so special!


----------



## Corvus

Quote:


Originally Posted by *monkeymommy*
She proceeded to tell me how "Oh no, *Dr. Phil* says you shouldn't sleep with your babies!" (Dr. Phil...







...is he even a Dr.??!)

Actually, yes, he IS a doctor. Not an M.D., but a Ph.D. (clinical psychology).

That doesn't mean he is RIGHT about everything, however. I completely disagree with his stance against co-sleeping, and I really wish he would back down from it. He swears he has read all the literature in support of co-sleeping but still disagrees with it.

Doctors and professionals in all fields have disagreements, however.


----------



## amycurlygirl

Monkeymommy you really made me laugh!!!

Wait till you all hear this one...

My son has severe reflux. He's been a distressed baby since he came out of my body. It's not been easy since he was born!
We postponed a baptism until we found a church we both were comfortable with. We found the perfect one and had him baptised at 7 mths. Not to late if you ask me.
So at about 3mths, my mom says "Well, if you had him baptised, he wouldn't be so sick"
Where's that jaw dropping thingy...








That's what I looked like afterwards.
Needless to say, on the day of the baptism, he didn't get any better








At least I have a sense of humor about it.


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *monkeymommy*

She proceeded to tell me how "Oh no, *Dr. Phil* says you shouldn't sleep with your babies!" (Dr. Phil...







...is he even a Dr.??!)

Well, if it's on tv it must be so....


----------



## CryPixie83

Amy- your mom's logic... wow...

I've never been baptised, heck I'm Pagan but I'm very rarely sick, my cousin on the other hand was baptised and has always had horrible allergies, colds, flu, etc.... so that comment is really funny to me.

Sorry about your baby's relux


----------



## elmh23

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amycurlygirl*
Monkeymommy you really made me laugh!!!

Wait till you all hear this one...

My son has severe reflux. He's been a distressed baby since he came out of my body. It's not been easy since he was born!
We postponed a baptism until we found a church we both were comfortable with. We found the perfect one and had him baptised at 7 mths. Not to late if you ask me.
So at about 3mths, my mom says "Well, if you had him baptised, he wouldn't be so sick"
Where's that jaw dropping thingy...








That's what I looked like afterwards.
Needless to say, on the day of the baptism, he didn't get any better








At least I have a sense of humor about it.

My BIL and his wife had their youngest son baptised at age 2. She kept saying the entire time we were there (they live in another state, about 8 hours away) that she couldn't wait until S was baptised because then the devil would leave him. She was referring to the fact that S is extreamly outgoing and can be prone to hitting (still at age 4.) I just looked at her thinking "Maybe he's hitting because when you're pissed at him, you hit him!" I didn't say anything to her though because at the time I was barely pregnant with dd.


----------



## Awaken

Quote:


Originally Posted by *senke*
The nurse running the childbirth class said to the class "It's really too bad they don't give out formula samples in the hospital anymore [the hospital here is trying to become baby-friendly]. You really should have some around just in case."

"Just in case"?!? In case what? My boobs fall off??

This same woman was asked by one of the pregnant woman "How long is it good to breastfeed?" and responded "There's no reason to breastfeed more than six months. After that, just switch to formula."

One of the most useless classes I've taken. The attitude was "Well, of course you're all going to want epidurals, so..."

Seriously, even if it's after the fact, I hope you write a letter! That is truly horrible and imagine all the false information they are giving out to new parents who aren't as well informed as you are!


----------



## Sharondio

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CryPixie83*







too true. What kind of response did you get?

Well, the childbirth educator had to stifle a laugh and try not to completely agree with me. In retrospect, I feel bad for putting her in that position. But sometimes that little devil on my shoulder gets the better of me.


----------



## KC in KS

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CryPixie83*
Is percoset (sp) even approved for nursing moms???

I've taken Percocet heavily (every four hours) for several days after birth with both DD and DS, to no effect. DH and I think it makes the babies a little sleepier, but they sleep so much those first few days it's hard to tell. Oh, and it doesn't knock me out at all.


----------



## spruce

_I've taken Percocet heavily (every four hours) for several days after birth with both DD and DS, to no effect. DH and I think it makes the babies a little sleepier, but they sleep so much those first few days it's hard to tell. Oh, and it doesn't knock me out at all._

Yep. There's way too much stress for nursing mothers as far as what we take to alleviate pain.

I was on SUPER heavy-duty morphine for days after my latest baby (she was 8 days old when they started giving it to me), and even morphine isn't contraindicated as long as the baby shows no signs of lethargy or disinterest in nursing/etc.

Sometimes you have to fight the pain in order to be able to nurse/mother your child as best you can, and often that is best achieved with painkillers.


----------



## foreveravalon20

Hi all! Delurking to post my strange parenting advice from the other night, courtesy of my MIL. The other night my husband and I were over at my MIL's house eating dinner. I have never mentioned AP parenting, or children at all with her, so this coversation took me completely by surprise.

MIL: "You're going to be one of *THOSE* people that sleeps with their children aren't you?!"
Me: "Um...". (Wasn't sure how to respond to this. But she said THOSE PEOPLE like they were devil worshippers).
MIL: (Angry all of a sudden)"Because you can't take a child into the *MARRIAGE BED*!"
Me:







(speechless, wondering if I have somehow traveled back to Victorian times when people actually used that phrase with a serious face)

I didn't respond, but I wish I'd said something like, "Marriage Bed? Can I get one of those at Mattress Discounters?"
[/B]


----------



## Kaitnbugsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *foreveravalon20*
I didn't respond, but I wish I'd said something like, "Marriage Bed? Can I get one of those at Mattress Discounters?"
















: Now that's a comeback


----------



## minkajane

I will never ever understand those people who automatically assume that in bed at night is the only time and place you can have sex. I think it's people like that who assume that family bed = kids watching you have sex. Makes no flippin' sense.


----------



## Shenjall

What makes even less sense is when the people who say things like that are the same people who had sex in bathrooms at the bar; backseat of cars; back alleys; closets at parties; etc........


----------



## angelpie545

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shenjall*
What makes even less sense is when the people who say things like that are the same people who had sex in bathrooms at the bar; backseat of cars; back alleys; closets at parties; etc........

Don't I know that...LOL! Dh and I got together when my youngest dd was fout months old and he didn't blink an eye when I co-slept and breastfed, and didn't vax! He was right on with AP from the get-go...as far as sex went, yeah we managed to do that too without the kids seeing


----------



## Wolfcat

Okay, first off, I am middle of the road crunchy. I have an aunt, however, who is a little weird. I wouldn't call her crunchy, but she goes along those lines with a lot of stuff.

Just before I gave birth, she tried to talk me out of not circ'ing my son. She swore that her one son who was circ'd was sooo much cleaner and the other two who were intact were "a pain". Then she said, "You'll have to teach him how to take care of it..."
Um, duh.







:

Then, the birth ended in an emergency c-section. I wasn't dilating, my pelvis was a little too narrow, and DS was two weeks overdue. All of that together meant it wasn't happening. The difference in how the pain felt from the beginning to right before the c-sec made it clear to me that there was a "problem." I was disappointed that I didn't get the natural birth, but I'm glad my son is alive and kicking.

Two weeks later, knowing all of this, my aunt says "it's just so unfortunate that you had a c-sec"

Yeah, 'cause me and the baby dying would be the more fortunate option?







:


----------



## Wolfcat

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kater07*
I've had people tell me that unless the kid is hungry, wet or cold I shouldn't pick him/her up when he/she cries (same advice 2 babies).

If you don't pick babies up to check their diaper, feel their hands and feet, or see if they will eat, how will you know that's the problem (and apparently ok to pick them up







)?


----------



## minkajane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Wolfcat*
Two weeks later, knowing all of this, my aunt says "it's just so unfortunate that you had a c-sec"

Yeah, 'cause me and the baby dying would be the more fortunate option?







:









I don't think she meant it like that. I agree that it's unfortunate that you had a C-section, because C-sections are no fun (I know from personal experience). It would've been much easier on you and baby IF a vaginal birth had worked out. That doesn't mean I think that you shouldn't have had the C-section, it just means I wish you hadn't had to have one.


----------



## 98741

I love my sister but lets just say our parenting styles differ. We were talking recently about feeding our children (9m and 7m). I told her that dd eats table food she can feed herself and she doesn't eat processed food or sugar. She decided that I am depriving her from the "good foods" ie fast food, candy, ect. She asked if that meant that I wasn't even going to let her have pop and I said no, kids don't need pop, it's bad for you (I'm not bashing pop drinkers here, I am one. I just don't want dd to be!) So she told me that dd will grow up and go to college and "discover" pop and buy a bunch and just sit in her room drinking pop all day....... How do you repond to that!?! I just laughed at her.

Another one, I unfortunately ended my pregnancy having to use a doc so I had a birth plan to go over with them explaining my desire for a unmedicated, non interventive birth. When I had to go in at 2 weeks pp the nurse said "Oh you're the one that didn't want meds right?" I said, "that's me." She smirked and said, "yeah, how'd that go for you?" (In a really condesending way like she knew I HAD to have an epidural and couldn't handle going through with birth) Well I had quite the satisfaction telling her how wonderful it was and how no one touched me with anything and I caught my daughter and I'm excited to do it again. She had nothing to say and when they needed to check something mysteriously another nurse came in.


----------



## lovingmommyhood

Quote:


Originally Posted by *foreveravalon20*
Hi all! Delurking to post my strange parenting advice from the other night, courtesy of my MIL. The other night my husband and I were over at my MIL's house eating dinner. I have never mentioned AP parenting, or children at all with her, so this coversation took me completely by surprise.

MIL: "You're going to be one of *THOSE* people that sleeps with their children aren't you?!"
Me: "Um...". (Wasn't sure how to respond to this. But she said THOSE PEOPLE like they were devil worshippers).
MIL: (Angry all of a sudden)"Because you can't take a child into the *MARRIAGE BED*!"
Me:







(speechless, wondering if I have somehow traveled back to Victorian times when people actually used that phrase with a serious face)

I didn't respond, but I wish I'd said something like, "Marriage Bed? Can I get one of those at Mattress Discounters?" [/B]

















That's hilarious!

My cousin (who has two kids) told me that I shouldn't be teaching DS sign language because "ya know, they just never learn to talk that way". It's funny how comments like that stick with you. Now that DS IS talking I feel like saying to her "Wow, I'm surprised Cullen learned to talk since I disabled him by teaching him signs, he must be a true over comer!" Or something equally as snotty.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sarahn4639*
So she told me that dd will grow up and go to college and "discover" pop and buy a bunch and just sit in her room drinking pop all day....... How do you repond to that!?! I just laughed at her.

"I'm also not giving her alcohol, I know I'm a terrible mother."


----------



## Jay'smom

My sister let her 2 kids CIO. I don't let DS CIO, and we were discussing this the other day. She told me. "Some kids are just more sensitive and it's too stimulating to hold them so it's better to let them cry to go to sleep." Umm....WHAT? Crying is somehow less stimulating than snuggling with mom or dad? I must of looked at her like she was from outer space because she got really defensive and I just changed the subject.


----------



## sapphire_chan

http://moxie.blogs.com/askmoxie/2006...s_and_cio.html
Is it possible she was trying to say a confused version of this?


----------



## Jay'smom

I doubt it. Although she is a bright, educated woman, she actually has read very little on child development-type things. This was based on her MIL's advice. (A very "different" kind of woman.)


----------



## stanswife

This is part venting part







...the first time I visited my parents after my son's birth, he was three months old. I was getting ready to drive to see friends and needed to put on my makeup, so I popped DS into his sling. My stepmom came out of her bedroom and asked if he was going to ride in that. Well, that's what we call it when he 'rides' in the sling, so I said 'yeah'. She said, "Stacy, you cannot ride with him in a car like that. You have to put him in a car seat!" I replied, "Well, heavens yes, I'm putting him in a carseat!" She: "Well you better, because you just can't keep him in that and drive." Good grief! Then later, "It looks like he's not comfortable. He can't stay in that thing much longer, can he. How much does that hold?"

Now, she has never seen a sling before...so I'll cut her a little slack, but come on. It seems like everything she sees me do that is counter to the way she raised her children she reads as a statement against HER parenting. I am not making any statements here...just raising my child the way he should be raised. I get tired of that really. If they are so 'right' why so defensive? And do I have IDIOT tattooed across my forehead?


----------



## jayayenay

Quote:


Originally Posted by *stanswife*
And do I have IDIOT tattooed across my forehead?

Yep, apparently we all do...especially when we're the dreaded "first time moms."


----------



## thefragile7393

Quote:


Originally Posted by *stanswife*
. It seems like everything she sees me do that is counter to the way she raised her children she reads as a statement against HER parenting. I am not making any statements here...just raising my child the way he should be raised. I get tired of that really. If they are so 'right' why so defensive? And do I have IDIOT tattooed across my forehead?

My mom can be the same way, as well as an acquaintance of mine. Gahh.


----------



## Kaitnbugsmom

Quote:

It seems like everything she sees me do that is counter to the way she raised her children she reads as a statement against HER parenting. I am not making any statements here...just raising my child the way he should be raised. I get tired of that really. If they are so 'right' why so defensive? And do I have IDIOT tattooed across my forehead?
agreed. sounds like most of the women in my family as well. My sisters are all a decade plus older than me and all but one think I'm insane for being AP.. and the one that doesn't is sort of the insane one, so no comfort there...


----------



## mamalisa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jay'smom*
My sister let her 2 kids CIO. I don't let DS CIO, and we were discussing this the other day. She told me. "Some kids are just more sensitive and it's too stimulating to hold them so it's better to let them cry to go to sleep." Umm....WHAT? Crying is somehow less stimulating than snuggling with mom or dad? I must of looked at her like she was from outer space because she got really defensive and I just changed the subject.


My daughter was one of those kind of babies when she was tiny. She would nurse at bedtime and then she would cry until she fell asleep. It drove me nuts!! My ds was a nursey-sleeper until he was 3, before bed and naps. I tried everything, rocking, singing, patting, walking...nothing worked. I would nurse her, put her down, she'd cry for 5 or 10 minutes and then fall asleep. Now at almost a year she gets snuggly and nurses to sleep, but she was probaby 8 months old before she would do it.


----------



## cinnamonamon

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan*
http://moxie.blogs.com/askmoxie/2006...s_and_cio.html
Is it possible she was trying to say a confused version of this?

Very interesting article! My ds2 was/is more in the "leave me alone & let me fuss" category, so I just stay in the room and lay a few feet away from him. He can get to me when he wants to, but he has his space.


----------



## mika85

Ugh, everytime we go over to Brian's grandparents' house, we hear "You guys should just let her CIO, it'll expand her lungs" everytime DD starts to fuss.










No comebacks to that one, usually just a forced smile and a nod, or I just ignore it, while picking up my baby and comforting her.


----------



## cellarstella

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sarahn4639*
She smirked and said, "yeah, how'd that go for you?" (In a really condesending way like she knew I HAD to have an epidural and couldn't handle going through with birth) Well I had quite the satisfaction telling her how wonderful it was and how no one touched me with anything and I caught my daughter and I'm excited to do it again. She had nothing to say and when they needed to check something mysteriously another nurse came in.

Yeah! Way to stick it to the snotty nurse!







I hope she learned something!


----------



## [email protected]

I have a new one! DH's evil grandmother said to me as I was getting up to change DD's diaper: "You don't need to change her when she pees. Just change her when she poops, it'll save you so much time and money!"

I felt like handing her a soggy depends and telling her to wear it wet for hours and hours and see how HER skin felt.







:


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jay'smom*
I doubt it. Although she is a bright, educated woman, she actually has read very little on child development-type things. This was based on her MIL's advice. (A very "different" kind of woman.)

Ah. Joy of joys. "Every child is exactly the same and if my advice doesn't work with your kid something's wrong with at least one of you"?


----------



## Wolfcat

Quote:


Originally Posted by *[email protected]*
I have a new one! DH's evil grandmother said to me as I was getting up to change DD's diaper: "You don't need to change her when she pees. Just change her when she poops, it'll save you so much time and money!"

I felt like handing her a soggy depends and telling her to wear it wet for hours and hours and see how HER skin felt.







:









Good comeback!

I can get away with leaving DS in a wet dipe for a while if it's a 'sposie, but we only use those when we're out'n'about. When he's in cloth, he won't tolerate it for very long unless he's asleep.







He lets me know when he wants to be changed.


----------



## LiLStar

Whew, can I have a sticker for reading every single post? I'm 17 weeks pg with my first so I haven't gotten much. Just a couple people who like telling me that cosleeping is "dangerous" or they have a friend of a friend who had a neighbor whose baby died while cosleeping.

This thread makes me think I owe my mom a big thank you! Reading all the horror stories makes me SO glad my mom breastfed me and my brothers (and most of us got to self wean! yay!) and didn't feed us over processed crap when we did eat solids. She wasn't the perfect mom, but I'd trust her watching mine and am fairly certain she won't be the source of any idiotic advice







(well she is unsure about cosleeping longer than 3 months or so. But if thats as bad as it gets..)


----------



## Kateana

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LiLStar*
Whew, can I have a sticker for...

I love that! I'm going to use that phrase all the time!


----------



## ethansemi

Love to read the posts!! Anyway my In laws always are always bugging me about everything and acting like they know all (yeah people who feed there babies soda and let them cry themselves to sleep) and we are going to spend Thanksgiving with them and I'm already starting to have nightmares. But in the last "nightmare" this was my response to one of the stupid comments, "What did you major in again? Okay well when you get your PHD in child psychology and development then come talk to me...until then just keep your mouth shut!" I woke up feeling I had conquered the world!!!


----------



## spruce

I can't believe I haven't posted this...I searched the thread and didn't find the post I thought I sent....

When Dd (11 in the morning), was a baby, her eye crossed. I men it SNAPPED like a rubber band. It was stuck by her nose and she was pretty much blinded.

We went through patching, glasses, both, etc., until our pediatric opthalmolgiist said it was time for surgery. My baby had surgery to lengthen two muscles (they do this with botulinum toxin, ewwwwwwww), and to snip two muscles. She had to be sedated, intubated, all of it.

One day when she was 3, and of course loving her glasses becasue she could SEE, a man in our grocery store stopped, took her glasses off her, and told her they would only weaken her eyes and that eyeglasses were a plot by optometrists to make more money.

I was shocked. I wanted to beat him for touching my child, much less for undermining all the farking hard work and money that had gone into those eyes!!

love, penelope


----------



## Corvus

dp


----------



## Corvus

Quote:


Originally Posted by *spruce*
One day when she was 3, and of course loving her glasses becasue she could SEE, a man in our grocery store stopped, took her glasses off her, and told her they would only weaken her eyes and that eyeglasses were a plot by optometrists to make more money.

























I also had someone try to undermine me and try to poison my child's mind against something that she had no reason to fear. My story is certainly not as severe as yours, spruce, but it's the same kind of thing, and it just happened recently, so it's fresh in my mind.

DD (3.5) had to have a blood draw, and then another 3 weeks later. She was a trooper the first time. The second time, we got a young, clearly-inexperienced-with-children phlebotomist. She said, "It'll only hurt for a minute." [Yes, DD knew that, but fine. Thanks.] She continued, "It's not as bad as going to the dentist. I HATE going to the dentist."

DD LOVES going to the dentist, has never had a reason to fear our dentist. They have a great relationship. We worked really hard from age 2 to make sure of this. Suddenly, someone says a very negative statement about dentists. Luckily, DD was just confused and didn't really internalize what the phleb said. I said to her in the car, "I wonder why that woman doesn't like going to the dentist. You like going, I like going. It's fun, isn't it?" DD said, "Yea, it is fun."

But when I think of how differently that could have turned out...


----------



## mimid

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mika85*
Ugh, everytime we go over to Brian's grandparents' house, we hear "You guys should just let her CIO, it'll expand her lungs" everytime DD starts to fuss.

I get that one and that I shouldn't let all the people who come over pick up a girl if she cries because they'll get used to it.

I was also told by the nurse at the drs office when we found out it was trips that I would have to learn to let them cry. I was told by a mom of trips that the best day of my life would be when I finally closed the door and let them cry. She also explained how she had 1 person there 24/7 and another person there full-time so that she could go out, had the trips downstairs with an intercom so that if she was needed to help the nanny she would know and that raising her trips was easier then raising her son. Dh asked me later (when I told him this stuff) how that could be called raising her children.

We have gotten pressure all along to get a crib and finally the girls were squished in their bassinet so we got one. Now MIL is telling the girls how much more comfortable they'll be in their own beds because they are "big girls".







:

My favorite has to be the favorite of all parents of HOMs. "I had 3 close together and know what it is like to have triplets." No. You. Don't.

My convienet excuse for so many things is that "its a preemie or HOM thing" and that usually shuts people up. After all, most of these people had their babes at term and singletons. A few have twins or have a close relationship with twins, but it is soooo different with triplets.


----------



## Corvus

What is HOM?


----------



## jayayenay

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corvus*
What is HOM?

Just googled it..."Higher Order Multiples."


----------



## mimid

Sorry. I should have not used the abbreviation.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mimid*
My favorite has to be the favorite of all parents of HOMs. "I had 3 close together and know what it is like to have triplets." No. You. Don't.

My convienet excuse for so many things is that "its a preemie or HOM thing" and that usually shuts people up. After all, most of these people had their babes at term and singletons. A few have twins or have a close relationship with twins, but it is soooo different with triplets.









My response as I started reading your post was "Hey, Mimid, she had triplets, right? I can't even begin to imagine how difficult that would be."

But that other lady, *2* full time helpers and she still felt she had to "let them cry"?







:


----------



## Lula's Mom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Wolfcat*

Just before I gave birth, she tried to talk me out of not circ'ing my son. She swore that her one son who was circ'd was sooo much cleaner and the other two who were intact were "a pain". Then she said, "You'll have to teach him how to take care of it..."
Um, duh.







:


Man. I bet she was one of those people who think you are supposed to retract a baby's foreskin to clean it. That's just about always the case when someone says intact penises are "hard to take care of", since the reality is that you just wipe it like a finger and you're done.

Often that ends up in a later circumcision for "infections" that never would have occurred in the first pplace if it had been left alone. Her poor sons.


----------



## MommyofPunkiePie

So Mimid, just how many cloth diapers do you need for three babes?


----------



## ramlita

"Then she said, "You'll have to teach him how to take care of it..."

I love Penn & Teller's comment on that one:

_Yeah, like it's hard to get a boy to rub himself in the shower!_


----------



## guestmama9911

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ramlita*
"Then she said, "You'll have to teach him how to take care of it..."

I love Penn & Teller's comment on that one:

_Yeah, like it's hard to get a boy to rub himself in the shower!_









Hahahahahahaha!


----------



## 3for3hb

I started reading this thread a long time ago and never had the chance to reply.

The absolute dumbest thing anyone ever said to me (and I have gotten a lot of anti AP comments from friends, family and strangers) was when I was out thrifting with my ds's shortly after ds#2's birth. He was about 8 weeks old and Ds#1 was almost 2. This older man and his wife held the door for me as I struggled with the stroller, my toddler and baby. He smiled at his wife when he saw I had TWO kids and after a brief comment about how sweet they were he proceeded to say that he and his wife had 2 children... and that they stopped at two.... and it was the SMARTEST thing they had ever done. This was followed by a sarcastic yet knowing smile with yet another "we know better so listen to our advice" comment of "better stop while you are ahead."
I could not believe he actually said that to a stranger!!!







: I didn't say anything but mumbled something to the effect of "if I wanted your opinion I'd ask for it" under my breath but still within earshot. In retrospect, if anyone ever said anything like this again I'd say, "Well, they say you know you know when you are done having kids... AND I KNOW WE'RE NOT DONE YET!!"

What a weirdo!


----------



## angelpie545

I don't know why people love to comment on the size of others familes! Grrr that makes me so mad! I have two kids already, but I'm not done yet, I'm only 24! I could easily have about three or four more and be just fine. My mom had three of us, and my grandmother had seven! Two kids may be enough for some, but no one has any right to say everyone should have only that many.


----------



## txgal

A friend was told by her doctor to stop nursing after a clogged duct because the milk in her breast was spoiled. Sadly she believed him.

P.S. This was before I met her, or you can be sure she would have known the truth.


----------



## Chronic Chrissy

Don't you just love it when people wih out kids say "Here let me show you, you're doing it all wrong." Especially when you know this is what works for you kid. One time Kiana wouldn't sleep, I could have had her out in 5 more minutes, but a friend of mine(without children) insisted on giving it a try. To prove a point I let them fight for an hour. Then scooped her up and in 30 seconds she stopped and was sound asleep. lol she slept and extra 2 hours that night.


----------



## cellarstella

Quote:


Originally Posted by *txgal*
A friend was told by her doctor to stop nursing after a clogged duct because the milk in her breast was spoiled. Sadly she believed him.

Spoiled? What does that even mean? How could freshly made milk ever be spoiled?







: And if you had spoiled milk in your boob, which I believe to be impossible, wouldn't you get really ill?

Why do these doctors have licenses to practice?!


----------



## kaja

I feel embarassed for my sister because the 2dumbest coments came from her. When I had the emergency c-section with my first baby she said that I "fucked up" (sorry for the expression -it's not my). When my ds was born her first reaction to his baby pictures was: where did such an ugly thing come from. Not the nicest comments from a sister...She is a proud doctor...


----------



## WNB

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kaja*
I feel embarassed for my sister because the 2dumbest coments came from her. When I had the emergency c-section with my first baby she said that I "fucked up" (sorry for the expression -it's not my). When my ds was born her first reaction to his baby pictures was: where did such an ugly thing come from. Not the nicest comments from a sister...She is a proud doctor...

Gosh, kaja... that just sounds mean







Sorry you were on the receiving end of that nastiness -- sister or not, professional training, whatever -- still must have sucked.


----------



## Ivan's Mom

This is one that my mom told me about when she was a new mother.

A friend, or maybe relative, of my father's was giving my mom suggestions and advise on caring for babies stuff.

This was a "society" woman. I say this because I do not want you all to think she was living in poverty.

She told my mom that you did not have to wash baby clothes in the machine. She just put them in the bottom of the tub or shower stall when she was taking a shower and the soap she used got on the clothes and washed them enough.







:

She also told my mom that disposable diapers were great. When they were wet you could just hang them out to dry and use them again.


----------



## darkviolets

When DS was 5 months old and weighed around 25lbs, a childless relative on my ex's side of the family asked how much he weighed, how old he was, and if I still breastfed him.. I told her yes and she exclaimed "well, you better stop!" I stood there staring for a bit, then told her I didn't plan to wean til he was ready, and left the room. Later I heard her and some other women relatives talking about DS and childhood obesity and how I should be picking small veggies and meat out of the food to feed him. My ex's side of the family is Filipino, so they were speaking in mostly Tagalog with a bit of english thrown in, which is how I knew a little bit of what they were saying. Arguing with them would have been completely pointless.

As far as I know I was the only person in this family to nurse, so I made it point to nurse him in the main room at family functions. My exMIL always tried to shoo me into an empty room, but I always assured her we were just fine right where we were. She always seemed confused that I would be comfortable "doing that" around people.


----------



## Rainbow2911

My x actually had someone argue with him about how old our ds was! In the Uk you get a higher rate of tax credit for the first year of you babies life. We weren't getting it so he phoned up the inland revenue to sort it out. He explained we weren't getting the baby rate and the person on the other end of the phone said "well no, you aren't entitled to it - your baby was born in September 2000". X replied that no, he was born in November 2002. The person on the phone then proceeded to argue with him about how old ds was! In the end x got really cross, said "I was there not you" and demanded to speak to the manager.

I had a midwife tell me that I was spoiling my 3 hour old baby by holding him and that I should put him in the plastic box. Yeah. Ok.







:


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Rainbow2911*
I had a midwife tell me that I was spoiling my 3 hour old baby by holding him and that I should put him in the plastic box. Yeah. Ok.







:

Wow.... just... wow...


----------



## elmh23

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Rainbow2911*
I had a midwife tell me that I was spoiling my 3 hour old baby by holding him and that I should put him in the plastic box. Yeah. Ok.







:

My post partam nurse when I had dd said the same thing (that and I shouldn't nurse the baby but every 2 hours for 20 minutes and then back in the box!) But a MIDWIFE! Oy!


----------



## guestmama9911

Quote:

My x actually had someone argue with him about how old our ds was! In the Uk you get a higher rate of tax credit for the first year of you babies life. We weren't getting it so he phoned up the inland revenue to sort it out. He explained we weren't getting the baby rate and the person on the other end of the phone said "well no, you aren't entitled to it - your baby was born in September 2000". X replied that no, he was born in November 2002. The person on the phone then proceeded to argue with him about how old ds was! In the end x got really cross, said "I was there not you" and demanded to speak to the manager.
Good night!!!!!


----------



## aeiouys

Stupidest comment I ever heard...
Friends Mother: Breastfeeding is for poor people.


----------



## mimid

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyofPunkiePie*
So Mimid, just how many cloth diapers do you need for three babes?

A lot!







But fewer than sposies. I have a serious shopping for cloth issue so we have waaaay more than we need. But don't tell dh. To him, we are still searching for the "perfect" dipe to use all the time.









I did get 3 more stupid comments this week. 2 were sort of the same. One woman said she felt sorry for me because girls are catty and another said that girls always talk back. I just gave my blank okaaaay look and walked away while chanting dh's line, "it's the parent not the child." Another girl told me that I wouldn't have "that thing" (I was wearing a wrap) if I didn't have triplets. I told her something I got from here about how I wouldn't have a stroller because how coud I carry a fussy baby, push a stroller and shop at the same time?


----------



## gwynthfair

I haven't heard too many stupid comments, but my boyfriend gets it all the time!
All the guys he works with told him that I would never keep breastfeeding.

And his friend's wife, when he told her we wouldn't circumcise, said "what if he wants to be circumcised when he grows up?"


----------



## elmh23

Gwynthfair, did you tell her "Then that's HIS choice, rather than taking that choice FROM HIM?" Cause, I would have!

Mimid, can you wear all three at the same time?


----------



## CluckyInAZ

gwynthfair, I would have said, "what if your circed boy wants to be intact when he grows up?"


----------



## elmh23

OOO, I like Clucky's response better! Maybe she'll ask you agian.


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gwynthfair*
I haven't heard too many stupid comments, but my boyfriend gets it all the time!
All the guys he works with told him that I would never keep breastfeeding.

And his friend's wife, when he told her we wouldn't circumcise, said "what if he wants to be circumcised when he grows up?"

NAK
Today my sister and I were talking aboiut not circing and i told her my original compromise with dh on the circ issue was that if ds wants to be circed, once he turns 18 i'll pay for it, but honestly how many young men would WANT to cut off a fully functional part of their penis? So my sister asks "Well, what if he meets a girl who wants him to be circ'd?"







: I tell her I hope to have instilled some sense of integrity in him so that he won't compromise himself like that for a girl. DH chimes in that if she's that superficial she probably won't be getting any from ds anyway. For some reason my sister looked offended by our comments.


----------



## aywilkes

When my DS was 2 his anti-breastfeeding dad snatched him off me while I was nursing and said he's done. His theory was that my 3 month old CONTROLLED me! As my sister says, people need to understand that babies DO Control you until about 18 months.

My DS was born 8lbs 12 oz and his paternal gmom KEPT calling me every 1-2 hours to say that she thought he was hungry. To also tell me that her son was drinking 8oz bottles when he was born because he was born big too. She didn't even SEE him after we left the hospital and my DS was growing so rapidly. I was 20 at the time so not thinking enough to just stop answering the phone plus I was trying to stay in good because I wanted to be her daughter in law. Thank Goodness I'm NOT!!!

Last thing: I used to practice Buddhism since I grew up with my Buddhist parents. I was still practicing Buddhism when my DS was born. people frequently asked me (Christians) if I was going to raise him as a Buddhist and take him to meetings. I am slow to respond, but I thought/said: Wouldn't you raise your child as a Christian? It is as if people think you KNOW you are wrong by not being Christian and wnat to know if you are going to misguide your children as well.


----------



## eco_mama

"Well, what about when he has g/f's??!" and "What about when he's in gym class and has to change in front of other boys? He'll be....different."

Yes folks, there are (unfortunately) people in the world who are completely focused on vanity. Needless to say I just about exploded when I heard these comments.


----------



## mollyeilis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aywilkes*
It is as if people think you KNOW you are wrong by not being Christian and wnat to know if you are going to misguide your children as well.

It's the same with vegetarianism (and I assume even more so with veganism, once you get past the 'clever' little comments about MILK with b'feeding).







:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *EcoMama7*
"Well, what about when he has g/f's??!" and "What about when he's in gym class and has to change in front of other boys? He'll be....different."

Ugh at those comments. Luckily I can cite my dad and three brothers, none of whom have suffered from a lack of companionship in their lives, as well as my hubby. My hubby can also attest to the lack of locker room teasing. He played football, and if anyone had been looking down there, _they_ would have been teased for looking too low too long. In elementary school he and another boy were teased in the bathroom, but he puts that down to them being the only two Asian-descent kids in the school, rather than to the status of their foreskins.


----------



## ramlita

Luckily the circ rate is dropping steadily,
so our intact fellas will be in the majority!









(luckily because fewer and fewer babies are getting cut-
not luckily because we give a #$%^ about conformity







)


----------



## Mama8

My dd fiance' actually wants my dd to have an elective c-section because his "friends wife had three and all the babies came through the same 2 inch incision!"







:
He also told dd that I was brainwashing her because she wanted a homebirth with a midwife like her mother did because he talked to the 70 year old lady he works with who said,"Midwives are dangerous! You must get her to the doctor! I would have never used a midwife!" Okay listen to a 70 year old lady that had her last baby 50 years ago instead of your fiances mother who just used a midwife at home only last year and has had 4 hospital births, 2 birth center births,
1 c-section, 3 epidurals, 2 CNMs and 4 OBGYNs.







:


----------



## sapphire_chan

If it were my daughter and I thought there was any way she'd give into his demands, I'd take her future husband aside and whisper "if she has unnecessary abdominal surgery, I'm ...ERROR Carrier lost due to UA..."


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan*
If it were my daughter and I thought there was any way she'd give into his demands, I'd take her future husband aside and whisper "if she has unnecessary abdominal surgery, *I'm ...ERROR Carrier lost due to UA...*"

Huh?


----------



## Kaitnbugsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CryPixie83*
Huh?

yeah, that's what I was thinking


----------



## sapphire_chan

I can't say what I'd threaten him with as that sort of language is against the UA.


----------



## Kaitnbugsmom

ah, right on. Would the phrase "extreme genital mutilation" be amongst the charges?


----------



## mollyeilis

Wow, 2 inch incision, now THAT sounds good for a baby...







:

I wonder if the guy with that wife knows that not all OBs do that? That there are women with as many incisions as c/s babies?

Zoiks at her fiance. And here I considered divorcing my husband b/c he backed away from UC and wanted midwives! I'd definitely have done it if he'd URGED the surgery... (we talked about all these things over our first three, very long, dates, and I thought he understood the UC thing, but he, er, it turns out, thought I was joking...







)


----------



## cinnamonamon

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mollyeilis*
Wow, 2 inch incision, now THAT sounds good for a baby...







:

To be fair, the incision is only 2ish inches after your belly shrinks back down. But it also causes permanent belly flop over the low scars & damages muscles that don't always heal, so it really is permanent because you can't exercise them...


----------



## mollyeilis

I've had one, I know. Except mine is about 5 inches long, which, despite them cutting OVER my pubic bone (can't think about how they got DS out without wanting to throw up), I'm glad it was on the bigger side than on the smaller side.

What's interesting is that mine is SO low, I can see that the belly flap is actually an inch or so higher than where the scar is, which is about in the same place my mom's belly did that, and she only had vaginal births. Sometimes, the belly just does that, no matter what, after being pregnant.


----------



## lillake

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aywilkes*
Last thing: I used to practice Buddhism since I grew up with my Buddhist parents. I was still practicing Buddhism when my DS was born. people frequently asked me (Christians) if I was going to raise him as a Buddhist and take him to meetings. I am slow to respond, but I thought/said: Wouldn't you raise your child as a Christian? It is as if people think you KNOW you are wrong by not being Christian and wnat to know if you are going to misguide your children as well.

I get that too. When people find out I'm Pagan I hear "but you're going to raise them Christian right?"







:


----------



## minkajane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lillake*
I get that too. When people find out I'm Pagan I hear "but you're going to raise them Christian right?"







:

I get that sometimes because I'm Pagan and DH is Christian. He's non-practicing and has no strong feelings either way. He's known from the start that all our kids will be raised Pagan, though he is welcome to take them to church if he wants. He's ok with that.

Even people who don't know DH is Christian ask sometimes. They think of church and Christianity as the default, so if I say they can have the choice of their religion when they get older, they insist that I should either (a) take them to church until they're old enough to decide whether or not to continue, or (b) not mention religious beliefs or spirituality whatsoever until they are old enough to decide for themselves. It makes no sense!

I take DS to Circles with me (when I get the chance to go) and he loves it. When he gets older, I plan on teaching him our beliefs, as well as the beliefs of others, so that he will respect everyone, regardless of religion.


----------



## RadiantMama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lillake*
I get that too. When people find out I'm Pagan I hear "but you're going to raise them Christian right?"







:

I'm really hoping to raise my child to question everything and choose her own religion by exposing her to LOTS of experiences!!!







We're pagan, too, tho


----------



## Avarie

PHEW! It's taken me the better part of a week to get through the 3000+ replies. Most of what I've heard is old hat - you'll spoil the baby, he'll be bow-legged if you let him stand, etc. But I HAVE heard one thing that no one else has mentioned.

I have a friend with a 7-year-old son and a 2.5 month old son. My DS is almost exactly 2 months older than her little one. She and her family are the ones who make all of the stupidest comments I've heard. We are both bf'ing. I said something one time about Spencer having a green frothy BM, and wondered out loud if it was linked to what I had eaten the day before - a really huge salad for dinner. She said "Of COURSE that's why!" in all seriousness. Like an idiot, I believed her (she's bf'ed before, right??). It was only later on a different message board when someone else posted a question about green poops that I learned the most likely cause was not enough hind milk. The funniest part is that I'm the one who feels like a dummy for believing her.

Now, whenever she says anything, I just smile and nod. I certainly don't want my son turning out like her oldest - or her youngest. The baby already has a flat head, and she started giving him rice cereal bottles two or three weeks ago because she wasn't pumping enough during the day to feed him while she's at work. Well, maybe because you can't expect to pump ONCE during an eight-hour work day and get enough to sustain your baby! Supposedly, her baby's ped said cereal bottles were OK that young. Before reading this thread, I couldn't imagine that a ped would recommend cereal instead of formula supplementing, and I figured she was just talking out of her







. Now I'm not so sure!


----------



## boingo82

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aywilkes*
..
Last thing: I used to practice Buddhism since I grew up with my Buddhist parents. I was still practicing Buddhism when my DS was born. people frequently asked me (Christians) if I was going to raise him as a Buddhist and take him to meetings. I am slow to respond, but I thought/said: Wouldn't you raise your child as a Christian? It is as if people think you KNOW you are wrong by not being Christian and wnat to know if you are going to misguide your children as well.

I get that a lot too. They believe in God, but they don't believe in non-christians.


----------



## kewpie-o

I have only JUST started getting crazy uninvited parenting advice, since I am almost 10 weeks pregnant with our first.....

My MIL just told me that we should transfer the baby from the bassinet in our room to his/her crib in the nursery at 2 weeks old!!!!! Are you kidding me? 2 weeks old? Sorry, but my 2 week old baby will not be sleeping in a separate part of the house, thank you very much......especially since I will be breastfeeding....and she knows that. I guess she expects me to get out of bed and walk to baby's room to breastfeed every 2 hours. That just seems so dumb to me.

I'm sure she has no idea that our bassinet is a co-sleeper either.


----------



## janerose

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kewpie-o*
My MIL just told me that we should transfer the baby from the bassinet in our room to his/her crib in the nursery at 2 weeks old!!!!! Are you kidding me? 2 weeks old? Sorry, but my 2 week old baby will not be sleeping in a separate part of the house, thank you very much......especially since I will be breastfeeding....and she knows that. I guess she expects me to get out of bed and walk to baby's room to breastfeed every 2 hours. That just seems so dumb to me.

Honestly, I have a very good friend who did this with both her boys. In fact, the second one was never in their room. And she bf on demand too!

The worst part is that she'd then complain to me about how tired she was from being up all night. Well...DUH!







: Eventually I told her to either stop complaining about it or to start taking the kid into bed with her to bf so she could sleep too like anyone with 1/2 a brain would do.

Holly


----------



## SweetAfton

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aeiouys* 
Stupidest comment I ever heard...
Friends Mother: Breastfeeding is for poor people.

This quote, though incorrect, made me think. How much cheaper is bf'ing than buying formula? Has anyone heard anything about this?


----------



## Kateana

We exclusively BF, and we haven't had to buy bottles, a pump, or anything related to bottle-feeding, so that's super-cheap. If you FF, you have to add in the cost of bottles, botlle warmers, and... I really don't know what else, but I'm sure it adds up!


----------



## kater07

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SweetAfton* 
This quote, though incorrect, made me think. How much cheaper is bf'ing than buying formula? Has anyone heard anything about this?

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/start/pre...tbenefits.html

Formula Cost for 1 year ranges from $715 for the cheap stuff to $3165, according to kellymom dot com. I believe that is JUST formula. Those #s don't include the equipment that is necessary - bottles, cleaning brushes, detergent, etc. The site also talks about healthcare costs etc.

It's expensive, just like using disposable diapers is expensive (not as expensive as Formula though).

*ON TOPIC: I was walking with a neighbor who told me that her doctor told her she'd never be able to have a vaginal birth b/c her son's umbilicle cord was wrapped twice around his neck, and that would happen with all her kids. Then he BLAMED HER for the problem b/s she worked retail while pregnant and raised her arms above her head too often.*


----------



## janerose

Quote:


Originally Posted by *boingo82* 
I get that a lot too. They believe in God, but they don't believe in non-christians.

Well, I'm Christian & DH is atheist. People can't seem to process how in the world we could ever get along?









Tolerance people. It's called tolerance & respect!

I do take DD to church sometimes and we had her baptised. DH is fine with both of those things or I wouldn't have done them. At the same time though I don't expect the girls to be Christian just because I am. We plan to expose them to many different religions and of course atheism. I trust that they'll choose what's right for them once they're old enough.


----------



## LiLStar

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kater07*
her doctor told her she'd never be able to have a vaginal birth b/c her son's umbilicle cord was wrapped twice around his neck, and that would happen with all her kids. Then he BLAMED HER for the problem b/s she worked retail while pregnant and raised her arms above her head too often.

What the.. her dr told her that? I'm trying to fathom why he thinks just because one baby had a cord wrapped around his neck that all her kids would. Huh? And does anyone know where the holding arms above head=cord around neck myth even originated? I've never heard that before reading this thread.


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LiLStar* 
What the.. her dr told her that? I'm trying to fathom why he thinks just because one baby had a cord wrapped around his neck that all her kids would. Huh? And does anyone know where the holding arms above head=cord around neck myth even originated? I've never heard that before reading this thread.

Idiotic isn't it?

My dd had her cord wrapped (twice I think?) around her neck (the horror! it was no big deal...)

My ds didnt have his cord wrapped around his neck.

Durnig both pregnancies I lifted my arms above my head. Honestly, how can you avoid lifting your arms above your head for 9+ months???


----------



## LiLStar

Oh my.. I just got this from my mom in email. Its a new one!!

"[her husband/not my dad] heard about someone whose baby had a conehead. They said it was because the mother sleeping in the same position through the pregnancy and the baby's head got squished. So it seems important to change sleeping positions. "


----------



## roseselene

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LiLStar* 
Oh my.. I just got this from my mom in email. Its a new one!!

"[her husband/not my dad] heard about someone whose baby had a conehead. They said it was because the mother sleeping in the same position through the pregnancy and the baby's head got squished. So it seems important to change sleeping positions. "


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LiLStar* 
Oh my.. I just got this from my mom in email. Its a new one!!

"[her husband/not my dad] heard about someone whose baby had a conehead. They said it was because the mother sleeping in the same position through the pregnancy and the baby's head got squished. So it seems important to change sleeping positions. "

Couldn't possibly be from the baby's head going through the birth canal


----------



## cinnamonamon

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LiLStar* 
"[her husband/not my dad] heard about someone whose baby had a conehead. They said it was because the mother sleeping in the same position through the pregnancy and the baby's head got squished. So it seems important to change sleeping positions. "

Where's the peeing my pants laughing smilie? The things some people will believe...


----------



## elmh23

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LiLStar* 
"[her husband/not my dad] heard about someone whose baby had a conehead. They said it was because the mother sleeping in the same position through the pregnancy and the baby's head got squished. So it seems important to change sleeping positions. "

Did your mom have a vaginal birth with you (or any siblings?) The only way I can think she actually believes this is true is if she had c-sections (and you guys were never engaged) or she adopted you.







:


----------



## nikirj

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CryPixie83* 
Honestly, how can you avoid lifting your arms above your head for 9+ months???

But didn't you know? You're supposed to stay in bed. Women can barely handle walking around normally, just THINK what happens during PREGNANCY!

My firstborn had a cord wrapped twice and pulling tight enough that it needed to be cut before she was born (it couldn't be slipped over and it was stopping her descent). She was still completely, totally fine, got handed to me straight-out and everything. I wouldn't have even known anything was wrong if my OB hadn't told me. She didn't even cop an I-saved-your-baby's-life attitude, either. I think it happens pretty frequently (well I know that wrapped cords happen really frequently, but I think that them being fairly tight happens pretty often as well...and is no big deal, either).


----------



## LiLStar

Quote:


Originally Posted by *elmh23* 
Did your mom have a vaginal birth with you (or any siblings?) The only way I can think she actually believes this is true is if she had c-sections (and you guys were never engaged) or she adopted you.







:

My mom had c-sections for every one of us.. all 5! I replied back to her email with the real reason! lol. And reminded her about one of my nieces/her granddaughter who had a super cone head at birth and looks completely normal (well, maybe abnormally adorable







) now!


----------



## ramlita

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nikirj* 
But didn't you know? You're supposed to stay in bed.

Right. But keep rolling from side to side, so your baby won't get that conehead!


----------



## LiLStar

hehehe, I'm 20 weeks pregnant and still working full time (yeah, I think I'm going to put that to a stop within a month!) and I sure wouldn't mind staying in bed! Sounds GREAT!







(at least thats how I feel when dh tries to get me up in the morning.. I growl at him.)


----------



## KBug

My sister told me not to BF beyond a year or I'd rot his teeth...


----------



## Blu Razzberri

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PumpkinSeeds* 
My MIL said that by nursing my ds I was going to turn him into a homosexual.


*Where you you even BEGIN to respond to that kind of statement?! Do you start by asking her how mankind continued on for thousands of years when everyone was homosexual? Afterall, they didn't have formula in the 1400's! Nah...I'd ask her if SHE was breastfed!







*

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sevenkids* 
...The nurse started to crack up, she ran and got a tape measure and started to measure dh's head. She showed the doctor how big dh's head was, laughing hysterically. (Poor dh!)...


*Talk about the epitomy of unprofessionalism!!! You do NOT ridicule people, no matter HOW small they are; and you ABSOLUTELY do not make fun of MY child! I would have told her off right then and there; and then I would have reported her! That is NOT what nurses are trained to do!







*

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Envision* 
..."Oh, I really tried and finally after day two the nurses realized that I wasn't making any milk..so I had to give her formula..." blah blah blah..then proceeds to tell me "man, I had to wear the tighest bra I had when I got engorged..it was so painful..."
Not wanted to completely embarrass everyone I just sat there puzzled by this logic..."I have no milk, but I am in so much pain because I am engorged"...


*Well; she's got one thing right; she wasn't producing milk. It's just too bad that she (and the trained nurse) didn't recognize that colostrum is equally as nutritious!







:*

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MamaInTheBoonies* 
..after dd #2 was born, I went to nurse her and the Dr. had a sh*t fit. he yelled that I was going to give her an infection!


*Did he then give you a free can of Nestle formula?








(http://www.breastfeedingisnormal.org.../BoycottNestle)*


----------



## minkajane

That Nestlé site made me giggle!

Quote:

DOES comply with both the letter and the spirit of the World Health Organisation's International Code of Marketing of Breast-Milk Substitutes as well as with national regulations giving effect to the WHO Code when these are stricter
Yeah RIGHT!

Quote:

DOES NOT advertise or promote infant formula to the public
Oh, that Nestlé Good Start commercial I saw this morning and the magazine advertisement yesterday, they weren't advertisements?


----------



## magemom

Quote:
Originally Posted by PumpkinSeeds
My MIL said that by nursing my ds I was going to turn him into a homosexual.

Hah! BIL wasn't sure bf was a good idea for his sons.

Then I told him that they gay uncles were't bf........ (the stuff my grandmother was told!)

The twins were exclusively pumped for for 9 months, the singleton bf for 15 months.

(no i don't think there is ANY correlation, but he is an a$$ and suddenly turned supportive- sis needed support!)


----------



## Piper's mama

My DH's wicked Stepmother, giving me her wise words while I was pregnant with DD1, said "Children will humiliate you, so you need to humiliate them back". I actually couldn't believe she said that, so my response was stunned silence. She says really inappropriate things all the time, but that one shocked me. _then_ she said it again at the Thanksgiving dinner table







. I couldn't believe that was the only "words of advice" she had. That is part of the reason she has never babysat for DD, and won't ever babysit for either of my children....


----------



## KBug

Ok, I have to add a cute one. It would have been dumb from an adult, but from the mouths of babes...

The 5 year old son of friends really likes babies and likes to hold our baby all the time when we're visiting. We don't always let him and one time he indignantly told DH and I that 'you guys are baby hogs!'. We said, yes, we are.


----------



## laurita

Last week, I was carrying my 8 month old daughter and I gave her a peck on the forehead. An old guy we were passing asked, "Is that your baby?"

I smiled and said, "Yep," but I was thinking 'Of course it's my baby! Where do you think I got her?'


----------



## Kateana

Quote:


Originally Posted by *laurita* 
Last week, I was carrying my 8 month old daughter and I gave her a peck on the forehead. An old guy we were passing asked, "Is that your baby?"

I smiled and said, "Yep," but I was thinking 'Of course it's my baby! Where do you think I got her?'









I am guilty of this one... I never know if a kid is with his/her mommy or a nanny, especially when we're at a playground or something... at the grocery store I usually assume it's mom.


----------



## OGirlieMama

OMG, I don't know why I just remembered this. Sometime when the girls were very young (1 month?) we had a weight check at the ped and our regular doctor was not in so we saw one of the partners - the older guy who started the practice. I had been told by my OB that "he should've retired 20 years ago" so I was a little apprehensive. At some point, he noticed that Lilly looked slightly more developed in some area than Kate. He asked me if Lilly was older. Um? They're twins? Does 35 minutes make that big a difference??







:

Since then I always make sure out regular ped is in before I make an appointment.


----------



## elmh23

Quote:


Originally Posted by *OGirlieMama* 
OMG, I don't know why I just remembered this. Sometime when the girls were very young (1 month?) we had a weight check at the ped and our regular doctor was not in so we saw one of the partners - the older guy who started the practice. I had been told by my OB that "he should've retired 20 years ago" so I was a little apprehensive. At some point, he noticed that Lilly looked slightly more developed in some area than Kate. He asked me if Lilly was older. Um? They're twins? Does 35 minutes make that big a difference??







:

Since then I always make sure out regular ped is in before I make an appointment.


----------



## westchestermom

1. We were at our local baby superstore prior to our first born and the sales person (teenage male) told us "think of the infant carseat as your baby's home for the first year" " you don't really have to take them out of it" "it develops their neck and shoulder muscles"

2. In the NICU the nurses insisted on giving our daughter vitamins, when we asked why they replied "because breast milk does not have all of the vitamins that formula has!"

3. When I was pregnant my dp (female) was working in a hospital, and one of the other docs said to her "I heard your husband is pregnant"


----------



## CryPixie83




----------



## pjlioness

1.







: OMFG!! Did you set him/the store straight? That's just scary!
2.







Yes, because it has fewer that are better absorbed. (You might consider writing the hospital on that one, even though it's been a while.)
3. Probably trying to be "funny," but that's best tried only when you know someone well enough to know their sense of humor. ..and I can totally see someone feeling offended after that one.


----------



## Caroline248

All these people that keep saying that breastfeeding will make a boy gay...how many gay men do they know that like breasts????

~C~


----------



## BelgianSheepDog

And if it makes boys gay, what does it do to girls? I always like to know the internal logic of illogical people.


----------



## Kaitnbugsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BelgianSheepDog* 
And if it makes boys gay, what does it do to girls? I always like to know the internal logic of illogical people.


my out-laws would say that's what makes them into man-hating, femi-nazi lesbians {little do they know their darling, spoiled, bottle-fed dd is bi! as are both the DILs they 'claim'







}


----------



## sapphire_chan

People, people, people, I've explained the "will create homosexuality" thing. Back in post #2576. See, the thing is, they think that going to breastfeeding will fix the mutation created by formula and thus destroy all men. But it won't, it'll just maintain the current staus quo. However, it remains to be seen what new and exciting things will happen from the new formula use. First the Y chromosome, next the Z???


----------



## pjlioness

at the last two posts.


----------



## Tracy Gooby

wow. haha







amusing posts.

My mom told me that when mothers consume alot of soy milk while pregnant, there are a higher chance of the baby boy becoming gay due to the estrogen increasing property of soy milk (or sumthin like that







)


----------



## mntnmom

DH always a jokes that the reason he's so fixated on breasts is that he was denied as a baby.







Besides, if they could be made gay, is it necessarily a bad thing??

For some reason people always asked if my gender appropriately dressed DD was a boy or girl. Once I replied " we don't know, the Dr. hasn't called with the test results" Another time I said " Oh, a boy...we're raising him to be cross dresser"
It was worth it, just for the looks of confusion!!!


----------



## pjlioness

Well, there are some concerns about too much soy consumption, but I don't think that is one of them.


----------



## Birth Junky

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mntnmom* 
DH always a jokes that the reason he's so fixated on breasts is that he was denied as a baby.









My DH has made the same joke!


----------



## Awaken

Quote:


Originally Posted by *westchestermom* 
1. We were at our local baby superstore prior to our first born and the sales person (teenage male) told us "think of the infant carseat as your baby's home for the first year" " you don't really have to take them out of it" "it develops their neck and shoulder muscles"

2. In the NICU the nurses insisted on giving our daughter vitamins, when we asked why they replied "because breast milk does not have all of the vitamins that formula has!"

3. When I was pregnant my dp (female) was working in a hospital, and one of the other docs said to her "I heard your husband is pregnant"

I really don't get why 'health' professionals who work w/ babies and mothers don't have accurate information on bf'ing. how many nursing relationships have they unknowlingly sabotaged with their wrong information?


----------



## Wolfcat

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Caroline248* 
All these people that keep saying that breastfeeding will make a boy gay...how many gay men do they know that like breasts????









MOST of the gay men I know looove breasts. Total fixation. I don't think its a turnon though.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tracy Gooby* 
My mom told me that when mothers consume alot of soy milk while pregnant, there are a higher chance of the baby boy becoming gay due to the estrogen increasing property of soy milk (or sumthin like that







)

That is actually kind of based on some facts. There is some statistical evidence that boys born with several older brothers are more likely to be gay b/c the mother's body starts to produce immunities to the testosterone (blockers of a sort). But if you know how testosterone and estrogen REALLY act on a biochemical level, you know that the soy milk thing is bunk.


----------



## ntresser

...That BM no longer has nutritional value after a year

WTF?

I responded by, "why would my body just stop putting nutrients into my BM?" They could not answer. I asked around (i think on MDC) and someone told me the book "What to Expect..." states this in one of the chapters. How scary since so many mama's-to-be read this!

I later sent some links to my friend showing that many organizations suggest BF-ing up until two years - i hoped it opened her eyes.


----------



## janerose

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mntnmom* 
For some reason people always asked if my gender appropriately dressed DD was a boy or girl. Once I replied " we don't know, the Dr. hasn't called with the test results" Another time I said " Oh, a boy...we're raising him to be cross dresser"
It was worth it, just for the looks of confusion!!!

OMG. I'm LMAO! We got that *all* time time when DD was a baby. We took her out to Valentines Day dinner with us when she was about 5 months old. Dressed in a pink dress with rosettes embroidered on it, white tights, red leather shoes, a big pink bunting, the works and at least 2 people at the restaurant referred to her as a boy -- as in "Oh, he's so cute!" Um...thanks but are you BLIND???


----------



## Awaken

The dumbest thing that I keep getting asked: I have an almost-4 yr old and a 10 month old, and a doulbe stroller. People always stare hard at them, then ask me "are they twins?" Uh, yeah.

People even said this to me, when the baby was a newborn and my older son was 3!

Or, if I only have one child with me in the double stroller, people will ask me 'what did you do with the other twin?'


----------



## Kaitnbugsmom

Quote:

Or, if I only have one child with me in the double stroller, people will ask me 'what did you do with the other twin?'
I used to get that all the time. My older two are 2 yrs 10 days apart, so one was in day school while the other was still a baby baby. I got really good at feigning shock and exasperation and saying "Oh my gosh. They beamed her up to the mothership without me!" and various other smart remarks. But I'm snarky that way sometimes.

Okay, most of the time


----------



## momaste

My son had plagiocephaly (a flattened spot on his head) and wore a helmet for 5 months to correct it. We got LOTS of comments about that. Ones that stick out:

In Costco, the checker looked at him and asked if he had that because I drop him. I said it was for a medical condition and he said, in all seriousness, "Because you drop him?"

The woman in line behind me then chipped in, "My neighbor's baby had one of those. Then he died."







: I'm sorry for her neighbor, but MY baby isn't dying! I was too stunned to reply.

Another one: in Target, a woman came up to me and looked very pityingly at DS, said, "It's so GOOD of you to take care of your special needs child!" I was genuinely confused - DS isn't special needs.Then I said, "He's not special needs, and even if he was, what, would I leave him in a field?" She kind of slinked away after that.


----------



## SoCaliMommy

I had dh's friend tell me when i was nursing my daughter that "nursing was gonna turn her in to lesbian".


----------



## rmzbm

Quote:


Originally Posted by *momaste* 
My son had plagiocephaly (a flattened spot on his head) and wore a helmet for 5 months to correct it. We got LOTS of comments about that. Ones that stick out:

In Costco, the checker looked at him and asked if he had that because I drop him. I said it was for a medical condition and he said, in all seriousness, "Because you drop him?"

The woman in line behind me then chipped in, "My neighbor's baby had one of those. Then he died."







: I'm sorry for her neighbor, but MY baby isn't dying! I was too stunned to reply.

Another one: in Target, a woman came up to me and looked very pityingly at DS, said, "It's so GOOD of you to take care of your special needs child!" I was genuinely confused - DS isn't special needs.Then I said, "He's not special needs, and even if he was, what, would I leave him in a field?" She kind of slinked away after that.

Re: the 1st comment...OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!









Re: the 2nd comment...Um, wow.







:


----------



## Roxswood

OMG, I just read all this thread from the beginning. I think I've been sitting here for three days straight.. erm wonder where dd got to?









I can't believe what people say, I also got the "Your milk is no good after 6 months" and "If you let her sleep in bed with you, you'll never get her out".
The other one that makes me wanna scream is "She'll never respect you if you don't give her a good spanking". Like I'd respect someone just because they hit me!!


----------



## mamalisa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *momaste* 
My son had plagiocephaly (a flattened spot on his head) and wore a helmet for 5 months to correct it. We got LOTS of comments about that. Ones that stick out:

In Costco, the checker looked at him and asked if he had that because I drop him. I said it was for a medical condition and he said, in all seriousness, "Because you drop him?"

.


Oh my gosh. I would just have had to run with that. "See, I'm terribly clumsy so it's really just safer that anytime he's around me he has this helmet on."
WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE THAT ASK AND SAY THESE THINGS???


----------



## ladyslipper

thats funny.


----------



## Jay'smom

"You baby him too much"...um...he IS a baby. He's not even eight months old yet!


----------



## christinadanielle

so why does everyone say they cant b-feed bc on "no milk". i actually had a friend even while she was preg. to be honest enough to say that she wasnt going to b/f , it made me sad but i can totally respect her for not lying.


----------



## christinadanielle

once when i was 5 mos. preg. my friend told me a story of how her friend had a miscarriage at 5 mos. preg. and that if it happened to me then "it just wasnt meant to be". i dont know what she was thinking! i was a perfectly healthy preg. girl with no worries until i talked to her!


----------



## christinadanielle

Quote:


Originally Posted by *christinadanielle* 
so why does everyone say they cant b-feed bc on "no milk". i actually had a friend even while she was preg. to be honest enough to say that she wasnt going to b/f , it made me sad but i can totally respect her for not lying.

oops! i meant for that comment to be on like page 2 of this thread! it is so long...people say some stupid things!


----------



## Jay'smom

: Why, when you're pregnant, does everyone tell you about everyone they've ever known who has miscarried? That REALLY bugged me when I was pregnant.


----------



## ncas72

MIL said to me yesterday that she thinks it's cute when babies cry and the faces they make as they're crying make her laugh. She said this when ds started crying while she was holding him. Then she started laughing at him and telling people to look at his cute crying face. When I took ds back to comfort him, I said I don't think it's cute, when I hear a baby cry, I want to pick them up and comfort them and see what they need. I was told I needed to get over that.








Why is it cute and funny? How would you feel if someone laughed at you and told you that you were cute when you were crying and in need?


----------



## louloubean

one friend (yes, still, he was TRYING to be funny) said upon hearing i was prego: "didn't i tell you puppies were easier"

and

a dear cousin said upon hearing i was cloth diapering: "what do you do with the diapers when they're full? throw them away?" um no....


----------



## minkajane

Quote:

MIL said to me yesterday that she thinks it's cute when babies cry and the faces they make as they're crying make her laugh.
I have to admit, I always have trouble keeping a straight face when DS throws a tantrum because his face IS cute to me. I do always cuddle him and I don't laugh, though. Of course, if he's hurt or sick, it doesn't look cute at all.


----------



## moonfirefaery

I've been told a lot of things

Nursing:

I am turning my son gay
I am screwing him up for life.
Formula is just as good.
Boobs are for husbands.
He needs to be on a schedule

Sleeping:
I am spoiling by not cio.
I'm making him overly attached and dependent by co-sleeping
Nursing him to sleep does him a disservice
He needs to be in bed by 7 AM and have a strict sleeping schedule
Put rice cereal in his bottle to help him stay asleep
It'll ruin my sex life.

AP:

I am spoiling him by not spanking.
I am spoiling him by responding to his needs.

Vaxing
I am endangering him by not vaxing.
He will get X and die if I don't vax.

Other:
I will scare the crap out of him if he sees me go through the 'pain of labor.'
That their kid must be smarter and more advanced than ine because mine is a late talker
I need to sterilize everythign he comes into contact with until he's a certain age

Schooling:
Homeschooling will make him unsocialized
Teachers are more qualified to teach than parents


----------



## NaomiLorelie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
I have to admit, I always have trouble keeping a straight face when DS throws a tantrum because his face IS cute to me. I do always cuddle him and I don't laugh, though. Of course, if he's hurt or sick, it doesn't look cute at all.

When DD is crying in my arms because she's tired I think it's cute. Her eyes are closed, her chim trembles, and she makes these exhausted "Mwah" sounds. Now hysterical upset crying isn't so cute.


----------



## boingo82

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NaomiLorelie* 
When DD is crying in my arms because she's tired I think it's cute. Her eyes are closed, her chim trembles, and she makes these exhausted "Mwah" sounds. Now hysterical upset crying isn't so cute.

I admit to loving the "Mwah!" which is more of a complaint than a cry. That's not to say I provoke a baby to doing it, or prolong it, but it *is* cute.


----------



## Mummytwice

As an attatched parent, I get the "you're turning that baby into a pansy!" (Actual words of several non parent friends) I say, I've always wanted a flower child!


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *moonfirefaery* 
He needs to be in bed by 7 AM and have a strict sleeping schedule

Sorry, I know it's a typo, but the mental image on this one







: That'd be one way to keep a baby from changing one's life.


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ncas72* 
MIL said to me yesterday that she thinks it's cute when babies cry and the faces they make as they're crying make her laugh.








Why is it cute and funny? How would you feel if someone laughed at you and told you that you were cute when you were crying and in need?

My MIL is like that too. "Oh I love to hear babies cry" (said all lovey dovey) or "Oh I love that face" (when a baby is crying) This pissed me off to no end when dd was a baby, and she still does it with ds. But now I understand, it's not that she loves that the baby is crying, it's the whole package- she loves babies, and everything about them. They only sound like newborns for so long, and it's one of those bittersweet memories for mothers whose children are grown up.

Not that it doesn't still irk me when she says it, but at least now I understand.


----------



## Awaken

Quote:


Originally Posted by *momaste* 
My son had plagiocephaly (a flattened spot on his head) and wore a helmet for 5 months to correct it. We got LOTS of comments about that. Ones that stick out:

In Costco, the checker looked at him and asked if he had that because I drop him. I said it was for a medical condition and he said, in all seriousness, "Because you drop him?"

The woman in line behind me then chipped in, "My neighbor's baby had one of those. Then he died."








: I'm sorry for her neighbor, but MY baby isn't dying! I was too stunned to reply.

Another one: in Target, a woman came up to me and looked very pityingly at DS, said, "It's so GOOD of you to take care of your special needs child!" I was genuinely confused - DS isn't special needs.Then I said, "He's not special needs, and even if he was, what, would I leave him in a field?" She kind of slinked away after that.

That is just horrible. I can't believe anyone would be so thoughtless and ignorant.


----------



## Awaken

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kaitnbugsmom* 
I used to get that all the time. My older two are 2 yrs 10 days apart, so one was in day school while the other was still a baby baby. I got really good at feigning shock and exasperation and saying "Oh my gosh. They beamed her up to the mothership without me!" and various other smart remarks. But I'm snarky that way sometimes.

Okay, most of the time

I know, i feel like saying "we keep the evil twin locked in the basement; we only let this one out"


----------



## aynaffitq

I've been told there is scientific proof that AP creates sissy la la's. I just laughed and said "sissy la la is imature terminology coming from a scientist, don't you think?"


----------



## Wolfcat

My mother made a comment when DS was one or two days old about how me not wanting to let him cry. DS was in the bassinet and I was still having a hard time getting out of bed (c-sec). She implied that she wouldn't give him to me as he started fussing.







:

I looked her dead in the face and said, "that isn't EVEN funny." She looked at me and kind of apologized. Then I said, "can I have him now." She got him for me.







:

But I'm pretty laid back and a joker, so when I get serious, my friends/family tend to pay attention.


----------



## kay_ub

When I was pregnant my friend told me that I have heartburn because my baby's hair was growing! She was very serious!!!!


----------



## gratefulbambina

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kay_ub* 
When I was pregnant my friend told me that I have heartburn because my baby's hair was growing! She was very serious!!!!

Thats an old wives tale, I was told that with both pregnancies and made jokes to other moms that were pregnant when they had heartburn


----------



## Zuzu822

I had my PP nurse tell me that you are actually MORE fertile while breastfeeding. Okaaayyyy.....

I know you can ovulate prior to AF returning, but her comment was stretching it! DH and I just looked at her like, right.....









As if I hadn't just spent the last nine months reading about ecological breastfeeding and natural child spacing!

That was right up there with the hospital ped who said the baby would get jaundice unless I FF until my milk came in because a few drops of colostrum wouldn't "do it."


----------



## AppleCrisp

From the bestselling book I intend to write called "My MIL Thinks I'm a Bad Parent, and Drives Me Crazy"

She's afraid that the tail of my sling is going to get caught by a passing truck and kill us.


----------



## ramlita

Wow Amy, it sounds like she needs a new hobby!
Maybe get her a kitten or something to fuss over?


----------



## sunmountain

Quote:


Originally Posted by *louloubean* 
one friend (yes, still, he was TRYING to be funny) said upon hearing i was prego: "didn't i tell you puppies were easier"

I'd like to chime in here for a moment and suggest that puppies are NOT easier than children.
They "leave the house" sooner, but easier? gah.


----------



## Shenjall

Amy, if you change the title to "MY MIL/Mom..." I'll happily help you write that book.









Oh, and yes, definitly watch out for those passing trucks with the tail from your sling. I see it all the time on the highway, trucks going by with nursing moms attached. I wish they would just cover up though. I mean, who wants to see that?


----------



## Wittyone

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sunmountain* 
I'd like to chime in here for a moment and suggest that puppies are NOT easier than children.
They "leave the house" sooner, but easier? gah.

My MIL would agree with you...she breeds mini schnauzers and when she last came to visit she was talking about how her week-old litter of 5 was *far* more work than 5 babies would be. I mean, they'd woken her up in the middle of the night for *3* nights in a row with their whining - the previous night b/c she'd forgotten to cover their cage and they were cold. The nerve of those little tiny pups! Of course this comparison didn't go over well with me since I've not slept through the night in over a year and not more than 2 consecutive hours since July...







:


----------



## Selesai

The worst comment I got:

I didn't think you'd be a good mother at this time in your life.

It was followed by: but you are a great mother.
Kind of negated it though.
That from my OWN mother. Sometimes I think she just doesn't realize what she's saying, because I have to believe she doesn't mean it the way it sounds.


----------



## canadateacher

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Robin926* 
I thought of one more that isn't funny at all.. just awful.

When DS was about two days old, MIL and FIL were at our house (they wouldn't go away no matter what we did!), and I mentioned that DS had his cord wrapped around himself in utero. Because of the cord, he had a growth retardation and was a little too skinny for his head size and length. He never showed signs of distress so we had no idea, and he's perfectly healthy and MORE than caught up in weight!

When we mentioned it, FIL just nods and says, "Yeah, my cousin's baby DIED because the cord was wrapped around its neck."

Yeah that's a great thing to say to a woman who just gave birth TWO DAYS AGO.







:

I have been trying to read all 160 pages before commenting, but it's taking me weeks! My mother made the same comment to me after my daughter was born. I told her a few days pp that the cord had been wrapped around her neck twice during childbirth (freaked me out a bit because I knew the nurses were talking about some problem, but thankfully the doctor didn't tell me until after she was born). My mom gasped. I told her (trying to comfort myself) that I was sure if it had become a problem they can move very quickly now to save the baby. My mom said she didn't want to tell me before the baby was born but that somebody she knew just lost a baby that way because they couldn't do a c-section fast enough!
I guess she figured it was o.k because DD was fine, but I plan on having more kids and it just gave me shivers!


----------



## ophelia2002

My dad told me that if I carried my girls in a sling, they would never learn to walk. He also said they'd never learn to walk because their Robeez are soft soled.


----------



## sunmountain

All four of my kids had the cord wrapped around their necks. the midwife never made a big deal about it, so I am always surprised at the EMERGENCY attitude surround this.

Jessica, until my dd weaned at 3yo, I hadn't had a full night's sleep in 10 years.
*happy sigh*
I'm feeling much better now. C'mon you have a whole LIFETIME to sleep lmao!

I'm really getting tired of the "wow how do you do it with four?!" comments. Usually this comes from someone with one. My favorite response is, 'Well this way I don't have to play with them, they play with eachother." lol.


----------



## Wittyone

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sunmountain* 
Jessica, until my dd weaned at 3yo, I hadn't had a full night's sleep in 10 years.
*happy sigh*
I'm feeling much better now. C'mon you have a whole LIFETIME to sleep lmao!









True! And will I ever enjoy it when it comes!!! Call it a lack of compassion, I just have very little patience for those complaining of missing some sleep for a night or two









I suppose if I just put him in a crib in his own room and closed the door and not come back until the morning (as the ILs advise














I guess I wouldn't be missing sleep anymore, huh? No, I'd just be missing my heart


----------



## sunmountain

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Wittyone* 







True! And will I ever enjoy it when it comes!!! Call it a lack of compassion, I just have very little patience for those complaining of missing some sleep for a night or two









I suppose if I just put him in a crib in his own room and closed the door and not come back until the morning (as the ILs advise














I guess I wouldn't be missing sleep anymore, huh? No, I'd just be missing my heart









Well, isn't watching your soul being ripped apart worth a few hours of sleep?







That particular piece of advice has always stumped me.


----------



## njbeachgirl

OMG I can't believe I read so much of this thread. This should be required reading for all first time pregnant mamas so they know what to expect, and have some good comebacks ahead of time!!!

Anyway I am almost 8 months pg with my first. I have already heard it all about "how i'll definitely change my mind" about wanting a natural birth, cloth diapering etc. One person said "Why would you CD? Just because it's better for the environment? Then the baby sits in a puddle of it's pee all day!" I explained how yes, it is better for the environment but actually also better for baby. (Cloth babies have less diaper rash, correct? All those chemicals in sposies....) I mean if you let any baby sit in a wet diaper for a long time it's going to be uncomfortable!!!! Its like everyone always wants to take the easiest way out these days and doesn't care who suffers from it. Oh Laundry, the horrors!!!









Forget telling people we are planning to co-sleep and looking into







.... only my mom knows about those two things right now.... she thinks the cosleeping is cool but the maybe not vaxing is weird. So today she was at the eye doctor and was telling the doctor she is going to be a grandma, her daughter (me!) is seeing a midwife, etc. The eye dr. said "I hope she is having that baby in a hospital" (I am) "because I see TONS of babies who are retarded and have eye problems from being born at home!"

The sad part is I think my mom believed her







, instead of believing all the research I have done (i'm totally for homebirth even though we are having this one with MWs in hospital!) How on earth would a child develop mental retardation or eye problems by being born at home?!







:


----------



## njbeachgirl

From my mom....

"Don't listen to anyone who tells you to let your baby cry at night.... there is no way a mother can listen to her baby cry and not comfort her!" (actually I think her exact words were, "all that CIO business is BULL







" hehehe)

"You can nurse the baby anywhere you want... remember you don't need to go in another room or hide, if it makes people unconfortable that is their problem!"

Yay for mom!!!!


----------



## njbeachgirl

Oh yeah, also.

When I first announced my PG, everyone and their mother asked, "Oh did you get a copy of What to Expect when you're Expecting"? Hellooooo? There are other (better) pregnancy books out there!!!

I think I'm going to start asking pregnant friends of mine, "Did you get your copy of the Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth? No? Borrow mine!"


----------



## ramlita

Quote:


Originally Posted by *njbeachgirl* 
The eye dr. said "I hope she is having that baby in a hospital" (I am) "because I see TONS of babies who are retarded and have eye problems from being born at home!"

The sad part is I think my mom believed her







, instead of believing all the research I have done (i'm totally for homebirth even though we are having this one with MWs in hospital!) How on earth would a child develop mental retardation or eye problems by being born at home?!







:


----------



## sunmountain

yes, I am very curious as to the direct causes of Homebirth Eye Trauma and Retardation







:

however I will take exception to the whole cloth=no rash vs. disposables=rash argument. I found it held no water (ha!) after doing cloth with two of my kids and sposies with the other two. I'm pretty sure it has more to do with how often you change their bums


----------



## minkajane

I think the retardation and eye thing is from oxygen deprivation.


----------



## KBug

njbeachgirl - you could think about elimination communication in combo with cloth diapers - check out the forum here. Truly reduces diaper rash, esp if you do it without diapers at home. It's one of the things I was really glad I read about while pg.


----------



## njbeachgirl

EC interests me; I will definitely be reading about it. When I first heard about it I was like "are you serious?" I thought it was like those commercials that tell you you can toilet train your cat







I keep learning such interesting, new things on MDC!!! so glad I found it before my babe is here!

Re: the cloth diapers- maybe she was assuming a mama would be lazier about changing the CDs since they would have to be washed??? All diaper changes being equal though I would think cloth would be more comfy on baby's bottom. but who knows.


----------



## njbeachgirl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sunmountain* 
yes, I am very curious as to the direct causes of Homebirth Eye Trauma and Retardation







:


























Someone needs to write a paper on this curious phenomenon!


----------



## shimmerMom

when my twins were really little my Mom and I were at the Walmart and the babies were lying together on a blanket in the large section at the top of the grocery cart. Tired of people always asking, "are they twins?" My Mom said to some unsuspecting woman totally seriously "No, actually this one is my daughters and this one is mine, but we had them on the same day."

The woman just didn't know what to say after that.









Sarah


----------



## canadateacher

Wow - only 2 or 3 weeks and I am finally finished- I love this thread, but I have been reading it so long I am starting to get paranoid everywhere I go (are they glaring at me with this sling? lol)! I have heard many of the regulars: What a cute little boy (to my pink-dress, pink hat wearing DD), is she a good baby?, Does she sleep through the night?, etc., but I am not bothered by them, because I have used them a lot myself in the past, really people are just trying to make conversation. It's the comments that directly judge my parenting style that irritate me. For example:

My MIL:
1. When is Jayden going in her crib? (she has been asking this since DD was a couple of weeks old). When I respond that I'm not sure she is (I have finally decided to bring the crib from the "nursery" to beside my bed, but have not yet told her that), she just laughs - I used the term "family bed" and got lots of laughs from everybody in the room and no support from DH. MIL said between giggles - "both my boys had their own rooms from 1 week!"
Your point - they are not exactly affectionate?!!!

2. "I just read an article that says they say now that infants should be given juices at 3 months, let me find it for you". (Interesting, because when I began to discuss studies I had read on co-sleeping I got "there are lots of studies, you shouldn't believe everything you read". NO KIDDING - I'm a teacher and when it comes to teaching and parenting I read everything and make my own decisions, I don't simply believe every new study that is thrown at me (one of my big problems with the school system!!)

3. After telling MIL that DD would get nothing but breastmilk for at least 6 months, she proceeded to say that she should try a "taste" of icecream cake "just to see how she reacts". I took DD and put her down to sleep in the other room to avoid the situation...she didn't want to lay down, so I took her back to the table. MIL took her from me so I could eat and then asked if it was o.k. to give her a taste...as she was already putting it into her mouth! DD cried and she put the spoon to her mouth again!! I stupidly laughed and pretended it was o.k. and mentioned it to DH later (he didn't see the problem, but said "I knew you would be mad" as if I am being unreasonable)









I hoped my mother would be more reasonable (although I have my own problems there!), but I spoke to her today and she began to react when I told her about the crib beside the bed. I just told her not to even start in on me, because I'd heard enough and I did not have the energy to go over it all again. She also acted shocked when I said DD eats all day long, like I am doing something wrong (she has issues with my weight that she thinks she is subtle about, so I think she is worried I will make DD fat - she is 98th percentile in weight and height and I am perfectly happy with that!). For some reason DD sleeps through the night - she scared me by doing it a coupke of times early on, but I've always fed on demand and I fugure if she sleeps 5- 7 hours at night, no wonder she eats more during the day! Plus she eats for short periods of time, she's definitely a snacker!

Sorry - this is a really long post, but I have been reading this thread for so long and I am curious about a couple of things:

1. What is so bad about the "What to Expect..." books? They have helped me a lot and I have not read the negative things in them people keep quoting (I've read every page). In fact, the only problem I can see is that the books give many perspectives and not only the ones shared on this site. I read the sections on co-sleeping and they give all of the positive benefits, enough to have convinced me! I would definitely agree that there would be better books/articles to gather all of the information in many specific areas, but it is a great read for a first time mom who can take what she needs out of it and ignore the rest







:

2. Bumbo seats? I love mine (would never use it as a baysitter, just for short periods while I am interacting with DD - she loves it). I noticed a "no bumbo seats" thing in someones sig. Because it is developing sitting and standing skills too early or is it the babysitter thing? Just curious, I have learned a lot on this site!


----------



## boingo82

Quote:


Originally Posted by *canadateacher* 
..
1. What is so bad about the "What to Expect..." books? They have helped me a lot and I have not read the negative things in them people keep quoting (I've read every page). In fact, the only problem I can see is that the books give many perspectives and not only the ones shared on this site. I read the sections on co-sleeping and they give all of the positive benefits, enough to have convinced me! I would definitely agree that there would be better books/articles to gather all of the information in many specific areas, but it is a great read for a first time mom who can take what she needs out of it and ignore the rest







:

THey give COMPLETELY false information on circumcision and intact penis care, for one.


----------



## the_lissa

They give out a lot of false or bad information on lots of other things too, including breastfeeding.

It is pretty fear mongering too.

http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/199...expecting.html


----------



## momz3

Worst advice? Most of it comes from my mother. The most recent was about potty training my daughter. She just turned 2 in August. She said "She's not potty trained YET?! You better spank her until she goes!"







:


----------



## canadateacher

Quote:


Originally Posted by *the_lissa* 
They give out a lot of false or bad information on lots of other things too, including breastfeeding.

It is pretty fear mongering too.

http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/199...expecting.html

Thanks for the link - I have the most recent edition and was just given an older version - I am curious to compare, because a lot of this was not in the book I read! I definitely read things I didn't agree with, but I read a lot I don't agree with, including in this thread. I'll have to read more on circumcision, I was not completely against it when I read that part of the book, but I am now so will read more carefully - it says no special care is needed before puberty - it even says it can be harmful - the rest may be a bit inaccurate, I don't know enough to say.
As for fear-mongering - I can see that - I think it taught me enough (since I was clueless) of the basics so that I knew what to expect, but I know a lot of people who would have rather not heard a lot of the details and would have panicked over nutrition (I tried to eat better, but refused to stress over it).

In terms of breastfeeding - it had answers to many of the things I was dealing with and states "the longer the better" - "at least the first year of life", however it certainly doesn't seem to talk much about extending it past a year, even though in Canada it is recommended for at least 2 years. I was very naive before I was pregnant though - it never occurred to me not to breastfeed and I had no idea some people actually "choose" to formula feed. (In all fairness I also didn't know how hard it can be - I have no intention of stopping, but at 3 months I am still not painfree







)

Oops - I rambled again - I hope it didn't come across negative - I am sure if I re-read the book right now a lot of it would irritate me, it's just that some much earlier posts stated some things that were not in my book, so I think that the authors at least try to update things, which is more than I can say for many health care professionals I have come across!!


----------



## lillake

Quote:


Originally Posted by *shimmerMom* 
when my twins were really little my Mom and I were at the Walmart and the babies were lying together on a blanket in the large section at the top of the grocery cart. Tired of people always asking, "are they twins?" My Mom said to some unsuspecting woman totally seriously "No, actually this one is my daughters and this one is mine, but we had them on the same day."

The woman just didn't know what to say after that.









Sarah


----------



## the_lissa

canadateacher- do you have an lc or lll leader you can call? It concerns me that you are having pain at 3 months. Feel free to pm me also.


----------



## mama_tigress

My MIL said that I would hurt DS's development because I wear him all the time. I just brushed her off, but she kept bringing it up to DH. I was very happy to tell her, on the day that DS turned 2 months old, that he had learned to turn over









This past weeken I was telling DH's cousin about DS's personality, how I can see it coming out and developing, etc. She said, "Wow, you spend way too much time with your kid." WTH??? Um, yeah, he's a baby, he pretty much needs constant care. What does she expect me to do with him? Oh, right, plunk him down in a crib and let him cry, right?







:


----------



## canadateacher

Quote:


Originally Posted by *the_lissa* 
canadateacher- do you have an lc or lll leader you can call? It concerns me that you are having pain at 3 months. Feel free to pm me also.

the lissa - thank you for your support. There is no LLL in my area, but I did meet with a friend of a friend who is a part of it and she helped a lot with latch and positioning. She also gave me a list of numbers to call in nearby areas. The health unit here is very good and have been helpful from the beginning - however I need to learn to trust my instincts. I did some research and figured we had thrush, however it was missed at first and I was not confident enough to push the issue. At my 2 month appointment my doctor said the white on her tongue was just milk and was not too concerned about the pain (DD is growing very well!). A week later I went to a BF clinic and finally was told that she had severe thrush and any doctor should have known that...SO FRUSTRATING!!!! Anyways, after 2 months of suffering (Vastoplasm pain as well..ouch!) at least I had an answer. After trying Gentian Violet, Dr. Newman's APNO and Acidophilus it finally went away from DD's mouth. I was nursing close to painfree for a little while, however it has been toe-curling again the last couple of weeks. I am taking the Acidophilus and using the cream (stopped using the Lanolin!) and it is a bit better. I went to the clinic today and they were very supportive and I will go back if it doesn't continue to get better. I have to admit that I was tempted to quit at first, but I knew I could never do that, I just keep telling myself it will be so great at some point (almost there) and it is so worth all of the pain!

On a positive note - the nurse at the clinic noticed my sling and was thrilled that I was using one. She gave me a bit of advice on wearing it and gave me the name of a woman and a clinic to go to to get help with different ways to use it (as I told her I have been practicing and was using it wrong at first).


----------



## canadateacher

"This past weeken I was telling DH's cousin about DS's personality, how I can see it coming out and developing, etc. She said, "Wow, you spend way too much time with your kid." WTH???"

WOW!!! How scary is it that getting to know your child is considered "spending too much time with them"! I try not to be judgmental, but if you don't notice your child's developing personality you are not spending any time with your child and are not fit to be a parent, IMO!


----------



## emikey

This wasn't about MY parenting - but it was still awful. I was in a mall with my DS, he was about 6 mo, all quiet and alert in his sling, and a mother with a 2-3 yo girl in a stroller said "oh I'd just love to trade mine for yours" or something like that. IN FRONT OF AND IN EARSHOT OF HER DAUGHTER. Oh I felt so bad for that poor little girl. GRRRRRR.


----------



## NYCVeg

Whew...today was a doozy.

I was walking dd--5 months and huge--to the supermarket in her stroller. It was probably in the high 60s, maybe around 70, and very humid. Dd was in long pants and a long-sleeved shirt, had a thin blanket over her (she'll pull it off herself when she's too warm, so I don't worry about her overheating). I was in a t-shirt and perfectly comfortable. Woman comes up, smiles at dd, etc. Then says, "Where's her hat?" I wasn't sure how to reply, so I said something about her being a warm baby (I'm just trying to be polite, mind you). The woman shakes her head at me and says, "There's no such thing. My kids are 27 and 29 [editor's note: she included this information, I presume, so that I would understand that she was an authority on parenting, seeing as how her children had survived to adulthood thanks to an aggressive shedule of hat therapy.] When I was living in Michigan, I had a neighbor who said her baby never wore a hat b/c she ran hot. Well, a week later that baby was in the hospital with pneumonia." I didn't know what to say, so I just walked off. But I feel pretty confident that my dd won't get a bacterial infection from going around hatless in muggy, 70-degree weather.







:

So then I arrive back home, and I'm still so flummoxed by this encounter that I tell the door attendant at my apt. building that someone yelled at me b/c dd wasn't wearing hat. Door attendent replies: "Well, people say that because the membranes on her head aren't fused yet, so she can get germs in there."









When did I move to Crazyland?


----------



## heathenmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NYCVeg* 
[editor's note: she included this information, I presume, so that I would understand that she was an authority on parenting, seeing as how her children had survived to adulthood thanks to an aggressive shedule of hat therapy.]









:


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## Dandy

i went along with induction for my baby, because I stupidly thought that if it didn't work I could just get up and leave. Ended up having a C-section because they were so aggressive with the Pitocin ("Oh, not feeling contractions? Let's just turn this wayyyy up....) that my baby, who had been perfectly healthy for 42 weeks, started having heart decels. anyway, most of the stupid things I was told were in the hospital

Apparently I became dehydrated during the 6 hours I was waiting to be induced (there was a "birth rush" and no one had time for me, but the nurses told me I could NOT leave). I asked if I could drink water instead of getting IV fluids and was told "It doesn't work that way." (fortunately, no one could find a vein in my fat, swollen arm and I chugged water until the stupid monitor assured them everything was fine.)

When I asked the pediatrician if I should be concerned about the babys heart decels in labor, and whether that might indicate some sort of heart issue, he laughed and told me "lots of babies can't tolerate labor."

He then yelled at me for not having all of the AFP/cystic fibrosis etc tests done, even though nothing was wrong with the baby (and even though those tests wouldnt have told me anyway...)

I was told that letting the baby sleep in my bed might seem like fun but "awful, awful things happen when parents do that."

My pediatrician recently told me I was crazy for not vaxing according to the exact AAP schedule.

Oh, and my baby was 10lb 2oz so a lot of people have assured me that I never could have birthed him myself anyway.

My mom told me she could not make enough milk for me because I was 10lb (but she was able to bf my 9 1/2 lb sister and my 9 lb sister for 1yr each lol). She tried to prepare me for the worst, and told me it was ok if I only made it a few weeks. She has since decided that she just didn't have the right information when I was born.

...
I cant believe how long this thread is... too much bad advice out there...


----------



## angelpie545

The craziest thing I ever heard was from my friend who tried to tell me her son was allergic to organic milk.







: That pretty much threw me for a loop. Helllooo....


----------



## mama_tigress

Quote:


Originally Posted by *angelpie545* 
The craziest thing I ever heard was from my friend who tried to tell me her son was allergic to organic milk.







: That pretty much threw me for a loop. Helllooo....

I don't get it. Why's that crazy? You mean he was allergic to organic milk but not non-organic?


----------



## Zadee

I can't believe I read the whole thing!

Some of my doozies:

from the pediatrician: Nursing twins. Well. That's a...lofty goal. Moo. _Lofty, maybe, but they are getting 90% breastfed despite a crappy start, so ptthht to you._

from my mother: He feels like my baby. _I had the emergency surgery, so I'm pretty sure he's mine._

from MIL: You can't dress a girl in blue. _Said while wearing blue jeans, to a mom in blue jeans. Oddly enough, she has no problem when I put DS in pink. Go figure._

MIL (again): (said to DD) Soon you'll be teething, then you won't be able to nurse anymore. _I looked at her and said, "Oh yes she will!"_


----------



## WonderWild

When my ped suggested to a very first time, very unsure and sleep deprived new mother (ME!) that I allow my 2 week old ds to cry a little. That was when I learned to not take parenting advice from my ped.







:


----------



## Ellp

I was just talking to a 5 mo preggy woman today about BF-ing and sleeping arrangements. I said that Dd chose from the very first night to sleep with Dh and me, and that it worked out well as I got to sleep while BF-ing lying down.

She says "Oh no, I'm not going to do that! Thats one thing I'm adamant about. The baby's not going to sleep with us. After all, there's already 4 in the bed, with my boyfriend and two cats!"































So you'd choose your cats and your BF over your newborn baby??!!


----------



## *GreenMama*

My baby loves being patted on the butt to go to sleep. L O V E S.

So my DH's friend came over with her 2 1/2 yo ds and her dd that is only a few days younger than mine. My DS gets fussy, so I start butt-patting. Mother-of-the-year tells me that I shouldn't patt his butt because *it will make spanking less effective.*























Then her DS proceeded to pull all my dvds off the shelf. Glad that spanking is working for her.


----------



## fireant

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CindyCaz* 
My baby loves being patted on the butt to go to sleep. L O V E S.

So my DH's friend came over with her 2 1/2 yo ds and her dd that is only a few days younger than mine. My DS gets fussy, so I start butt-patting. Mother-of-the-year tells me that I shouldn't patt his butt because *it will make spanking less effective.*























Then her DS proceeded to pull all my dvds off the shelf. Glad that spanking is working for her.

I was just told this week that in order to make the spanking "more effective" that i should make my baby go get a switch from a tree. That way she'll dread getting the swtich and thinking about how horrible it's going to be when I spank her.

This was after I said that I'm not going to ever spank her. I wasn't spanked and my mother never had a problem with my "acting up".


----------



## CAR'Smama

I'm a working, breastfeeding mom. My 7 month old dd really knows what she wants and often will refuse the bottle waiting for mama. Well my very closest friend in the whole world (actually she's my cousin) was babysitting her for me. My dd was very upset and didn't want a bottle so my friend called me and asked me if I wanted her to try to nurse my dd to see if that would calm her down (she has a dd 2 weeks younger than mine). I said yes and she did and it worked wonderfully! I felt so happy that since I wasn't there to meet her needs my cousin was! Well I told my mother this and she went on and on about how disgusting that was.







:


----------



## LadyButler

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CAR'Smama* 
Well I told my mother this and she went on and on about how disgusting that was.







:

Hee hee! And I bet your mother drinks somebody else's mommy's milk on a fairly regular basis! (Moo!)







:


----------



## Kaitnbugsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LadyButler* 
Hee hee! And I bet your mother drinks somebody else's mommy's milk on a fairly regular basis! (Moo!)







:


that's a good one. infact, if I had the extra cash, I'd ddddc it to ya


----------



## CAR'Smama

I'm so glad the irony wasn't lost on you ladies...


----------



## emski4379

Someone just asked me: "What kind of tricks can he do?"

Umm, none, he's not a dog!

Same person about BF: "Ouch! How long do you have to do that for?"

As long as he wants to.


----------



## LadyButler

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kaitnbugsmom* 
that's a good one. infact, if I had the extra cash, I'd ddddc it to ya









No one's ever ddddc'd me... and it's the thought that counts!







:


----------



## mimiharshe

When I had my daughter, I took her to the pediatrician (mistake) and told him I was having a hard time latching her and started pumping. He told me that wouldn't last and I should just give her formula. I cried. I pumped 5 months.

When I had my son, I had problems breastfeeding (all me of course) and pumped (i pump 40-60 oz a day only needing to pump 4-6 times and not at night). I pumped for 7 months. A friend of mine was having problems nursing her son the same age, so I gave her all my frozen milk so he could stay on breastmilk (hers and mine) and not formula. You should have seen the look on people's faces when they were told she was giving her son _my_ breast milk.







They thought we were absolutely crazy!!! "Are you serious?" No...it's a joke! "Why dont' you just give him formula?", "You're letting your son drink _her_ breastmilk?" "What, no way, why would you do that?"







We didn't tell many ppl!

This is the absolute worst! Freakin Drs.! I had a transfer homebirth to hospital w/my son.







: I ended up in a C-section (it's the specialty nowadays, right?) The Dr. tried to act concerned. *As they are putting* the spinal needle in my back she leans over and says, "just so you know you can NEVER have a vaginal birth again and MUST have a C-section for any furture children"!!! I just said to her, "I can't talk about that right now! DUH!!!







Then she comes in the next day after my C-section...all druggedup, having a hard time bonding/breastfeeding and devistated and says, "I just need to tell you again that you can NOT even attempt vaginal birth again". I told her I wasn't at a place to discuss that right now. And one more time for good measure...when I went in a week later to get my staples removed from the bad patch job she did she went at me again. I told her I wasn't at a place to discuss it!!!!!!!!! GET IT?????














:

When I have my next vaginal homebirth, I am giving her a visit! Seriously!


----------



## angelpie545

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mama_tigress* 
I don't get it. Why's that crazy? You mean he was allergic to organic milk but not non-organic?

Yes, that's what she tried to tell me! She gave her son regular milk all the time, and then made fun of me for always buying organic stuff. So she brings her son over to my house, at the same time my kids were getting over a stomach bug. Her son drank organic milk while he was at my house. A couple of days later, her son starts throwing up. My friend insists to me that it was the organic milk that did it, and couldn't possibly be the stomach bug! Umm...rriiiighhht.


----------



## RachelS

Mine was two weeks ago.... I was/am fighting a terrible nipple infection. My doctor/ped told me to stop breastfeeding TODAY and to go home and to have my husband wrap my upper body and breasts as tight as possbile using an ace bandage. Hmmmmm.... I was SO disturbed by that advice!!!


----------



## LadyButler

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RachelS* 
Mine was two weeks ago.... I was/am fighting a terrible nipple infection. My doctor/ped told me to stop breastfeeding TODAY and to go home and to have my husband wrap my upper body and breasts as tight as possbile using an ace bandage. Hmmmmm.... I was SO disturbed by that advice!!!

That's just insane!







:


----------



## canadateacher

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RachelS* 
Mine was two weeks ago.... I was/am fighting a terrible nipple infection. My doctor/ped told me to stop breastfeeding TODAY and to go home and to have my husband wrap my upper body and breasts as tight as possbile using an ace bandage. Hmmmmm.... I was SO disturbed by that advice!!!

Rachel S - that's too bad about the nipple infection, I'm going through the same thing







. I've had some bad advice, but that's the worst I've heard yet - I wouldn't have an ace bandage big enough even if I wanted to try it.. lol!! As funny as I found that part, the fact that he advised you to stop breastfeeding is just terrible!!!


----------



## the_lissa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RachelS* 
Mine was two weeks ago.... I was/am fighting a terrible nipple infection. My doctor/ped told me to stop breastfeeding TODAY and to go home and to have my husband wrap my upper body and breasts as tight as possbile using an ace bandage. Hmmmmm.... I was SO disturbed by that advice!!!

Not only is telling you to stop bf awful advice, but the bandage thing is insane. Even if someone has to or wants to stop bf, one should never wrap their breasts because it can crush the milk ducts and make bf fully the next child difficult, cause infection, etc.


----------



## emski4379

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dancingmama* 
This thread is great! Happily, I havent had some of the awful comments you all have had -- good grief! I've got some less horrible ones to add:

MIL regarding a train ride I took with dd when she was 5 weeks old: "Well, you'd better bring a bottle, just in case."
Just in case.... what???

OMG, I was CONSTANTLY hearing that from my dad (who supports BF, he just seems to forget that I'm still BF him when we go out). Luckily my stepmom reminds him.


----------



## stanswife

I went back to visit family recently (why do I do that?!) and heard the following jewels:

From dad: He's just about 4 pounds too big. Yup, if he lost about 4 pounds he'd be perfect.

From step-mom: Has he bitten you yet while nursing?
Me: Oh, yeah.
Step-mom: Did you thump him?







:

MIL: If you didn't eat so much butter, he wouldn't be so fat. (DS is in the 75th percentile for weight and height).

Step-mom: You're not giving him his shots?
Me: Nope, not til he's two, if I don't change my mind to not do it at all.
SM: Well, he can't go to school!
Me: Yes, he can, if we file a religious exemption. And besides, we're going to homeschool.
SM: You know the reason all those diseases are coming back is because homeschoolers aren't vax'ing.


----------



## ladyslipper

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CindyCaz* 
My baby loves being patted on the butt to go to sleep. L O V E S.

So my DH's friend came over with her 2 1/2 yo ds and her dd that is only a few days younger than mine. My DS gets fussy, so I start butt-patting. Mother-of-the-year tells me that I shouldn't patt his butt because *it will make spanking less effective.*























Then her DS proceeded to pull all my dvds off the shelf. Glad that spanking is working for her.

so funny- my dd loves a good butt pat too!


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *stanswife* 

Step-mom: You're not giving him his shots?
Me: Nope, not til he's two, if I don't change my mind to not do it at all.
SM: Well, he can't go to school!
Me: Yes, he can, if we file a religious exemption. And besides, we're going to homeschool.
SM: You know the reason all those diseases are coming back is because homeschoolers aren't vax'ing.

Yes, it's all the darn homeschoolers' fault!

I think my brain hurts







:


----------



## adamsfam07

I had my 3rd son in July and I remember one day this summer I took my other 2 kids to swimming lessons, I wore a pink maternity tank top with capris and pink earrings and a little pink necklace that matches, very cute. Anyway, I had several people that day ask me if I was having a girl. Why would I be having a girl just becuase I was wearing pink? But when I wore blue no one ever asked me if I was having a boy.







: People just don't make much sense to me.


----------



## Chronic Chrissy

I have to xpost this because it is truely a handful of the dumbest/worst thing anyone has ever said to me.

I am so mad! this is all about yestrerday and I can't seem to let it go so I am sorry I must rant...

I have this friend Sammie, a girl that I have kinda taken underwing. She is a wild 17 year old and spoiled rotten but a good person underneath, with manygood qualities, few of which you will hear about. WE are complete and total opposites but I found that we complimented eachother as friends, I taught her about life, cooking, tending to a house, looking after a baby, she brought me a little more up to date with fasion, electronics, and other tools of mainstream society which a useful in situations.

Anyways yesterday she was kicked out of her house(not uncommon) so she called to ask to come over. I kinda wanted her to anyways because it was my friends birthday party that night and we had made plans to dress up like strippers and take pole dancing lessons. I reallly needed help with the dressing up part and Sammie was the perfect person to help me, and she could help with DD(who she is in love with) while I got a few thing done.

When she showed up I asked her to watch DD while I took a shower. I told her that she had just taken a nap, so her bum would be the first thing she would need and if she was still fussy to strip her down and bring her to me in the shower and nurse, simple I know.

Well I took my shower with no interuptions, and thought "great Sammie must have everything going good." I came out and DD was Screaming on the couch right next to Sammie who was doing her make-up ! She said that she had just started and she heard the shower shut off so she knew I would be out right away. I wondered why she didn't pick her up and comfort her , then remembered Sammie was young and probably didn't know what to do even though she is at our house like every day(poor excuse I know). I should have kicked her out then.

Later on about an hour before I had to leave my make-up and hair was done and I was quite impressed with the new Chrissy to show DH when I got back. Then the shit hit the fan . We got into this huge fight out of nowhere about MY family, what my husband is doing wrong according to her(My DH isn't perfect but I love him and he does a great job as a husband and father), going so far as to say I should devoirce him and take him for everything , then crossed the line when she started talking about Kiana !

Apparently every idea we have about parenting is wrong(Remember this is coming from a 17 year old spoiled brat whose never left home), not so much about what we are doing now, but about her in the future. Apparently a cell phone will be a nessesity, as well as a personal computer, name brand clothes, $100 hand bags, and about everthing else that goes with MAINSTREAM SOCIETY. She thinks DD should never help with chores and has THE RIGHT to be provided with everything to make her the popular girl in school. We plan to move out of the city in the next 4 years because these are the exact things I don't want DD exposed to. Apparently I am depriving my child by showing her a way of life that is from(her words) the 1920's. Appartently the fact that we aren't planning to take DD to disney world is wrong because she got to go 11 times.

Apparently DH should make more money so that...
-we can buy a new house because DD nursery isn't finished(doesn't matter anyways since she sleeps in our room.
-So that DD can have new name brand clothes instead of hand me downs that she is going to grow out of anyways
-so that we can hire a maid and cook because my job is to care for DD and nothing else
- so that we can travel to places like California, NewYork, and other places to expose her to those cultures that are generally very mainstream in crtain areas(no offense ment , it's just that we are planning to travel in rural areas away from big cities when DD is older)

She went so far as to say that DH should have a 2nd and 3rd job so that her can giv me and DD everything we want, while we never see him and he SACRIFICES HIS WHOLE HAPPINESS AND LIFE for us.

Needless to say after an hour of this(which is too long really) of listening and trying to explain to her the way life really I kicked her out of my house and told her not to come back. Then I broke down , I couldn't believe that I thought she was my friend, and while I knew that I don't need friends like that I was still upset that I had lost yet another friend. So of course my make-up is running, everything that I worked so hard to do all day is in shambles, and I feel like shit . I called my friend about canceling our night out as my MIL showed up to watch DD. Sammie is crying in the back lane, I'm sobbing in the kitchen with DD in my arms(thank God she slept through most of it), telling Larissa(my friend) all about it.

How dare she ? I mean really what gives her the right to pull that shit in my home and to tell me I'm wrong about something she has no idea about ? She tells me that I am going to end up just like my mother, and Kiana just like me when I was a messed up teenager . Then tells me that in about 10-15 years I'll be coming to her asking for help admitting I was wrong. I mean really who the H*LL does she think she is?

Anyways on a better note I went to the pole dancing lessons and had a blast , I highly reccomend it even if you never think you will use it . But then when I returned home DH wanted to know what happened so I told him(you guys got the short version pretaining to parenting mostly but there was so much more) and it took till we fell asleep literally . So I now have it out so I can put it all behind me. Thanks for listening ladies, I feel better now.

Forgot to add the scriest part...
She is in an unstable relationship and is TTC! She wants a baby!


----------



## minkajane

Chrissy,


----------



## Wittyone

Quote:


Originally Posted by *adamsfam07* 
I had my 3rd son in July and I remember one day this summer I took my other 2 kids to swimming lessons, I wore a pink maternity tank top with capris and pink earrings and a little pink necklace that matches, very cute. Anyway, I had several people that day ask me if I was having a girl. Why would I be having a girl just becuase I was wearing pink?

We didn't find out the baby's sex ahead of time. I was 6 months pg at dh's Christmas party and I woman I'd never met declared (loudly and insistently) that I would be having a boy b/c I was wearing a blue sweater...she said I had a subconscious connection to my babe and he was telling me to wear blue







: Of course, everytime I work my pink maternity shirt people told me *of course* I was having a girl







People are so weird!


----------



## mimiharshe

Chrissy...it sounds like she took all of her pain and unhappiness in her life out on you. She may or may not really feel those things about you, but she obviously isn't happy w/herself or her family. Regardless, it's sad you had get the brunt of it!


----------



## mollyeilis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *canadateacher* 
1. What is so bad about the "What to Expect..." books? They have helped me a lot and I have not read the negative things in them people keep quoting (I've read every page). In fact, the only problem I can see is that the books give many perspectives and not only the ones shared on this site. I read the sections on co-sleeping and they give all of the positive benefits, enough to have convinced me! I would definitely agree that there would be better books/articles to gather all of the information in many specific areas, but it is a great read for a first time mom who can take what she needs out of it and ignore the rest







:

(In all fairness I also didn't know how hard it can be - I have no intention of stopping, but at 3 months I am still not painfree)


FWIW, DS is nearing 2.5 years, and I still have times with pain. I know that's not very cheerleadery, and my mom (massively into LLL when we were little) would hate to hear me say it, but for me, nursing has not been utterly painfree, and I've just accepted that that's how it is for me.

WTEWYE has changed with editions. It's also amazing how differently people with different perceptions feel about it. When my friends, very mainstream barely thought about how they'd raise their kids just went along with the "usual ways", read it, they ended up feeling oh so guilty. Felt it was preachy, it was granola, felt it was talking down to anyone who wasn't going to grow their own organic grains and have an organic garden, etc etc while pregnant. When *I* read it, I laughed the whole way through, feeling it was ridiculously and obnoxiously mainstream, and that it was quite useless. The thoughts I came away with went like this...(this is NOT what it said, but it's what I got from it, I'm paraphrasing wildly based on my PERCEPTIONS) "reader asks "I drank wine before I knew I was pregnant, have I done baby harm?" they write "well, don't drink any more, but don't worry about what you did before you knew"...reader asks "I smoked pot before I knew, have I done irreparable harm?" they answer "well don't do it any more, and you might want to think about not starting again, but don't worry about what you already did, what's done is done"...reader asks "I've been doing cocaine and heroin, and I'm thinking of starting meth, but I might find out in 2 weeks that I'm pregnant, have I done baby awful harm?" they answer "well, you might want to think about not doing those things, but once you find out if you ARE pregnant, just stop, and don't worry about what you've done, what's in the past is in the past"....."

To my mainstream friends, it felt granola and preachy, to granola me, it felt useless and "don't worry, what's done is done". NOT that I think worrying about something you've done that MIGHT cause problems is the solution, and not that I even think a glass of wine sometimes is horrible (and my mom's more-hippie-than-her friends would have something to say about marijuana as well), but it just seemed like a HUGE waste of space on the shelves of the bookseller's stores....

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ahwuko* 
From the bestselling book I intend to write called "My MIL Thinks I'm a Bad Parent, and Drives Me Crazy"

She's afraid that the tail of my sling is going to get caught by a passing truck and kill us.

Well, I have awful images like that in my head every so often. Wouldn't tell them to someone else, but I have 'em. I think maybe your MIL and I have both heard of the way Isadora Duncan died several decades ago, and perhaps it scarred us...


----------



## TanyaS

When dd2 was just a week old, we left the house to eat a quick meal out at a small local diner-type place. Dd got fussy as soon as we arrived, and I tried to calm her a bit first. Was feeling flustered because it was probably too soon to be out, but I just needed a change of scenery for a short time. Anyway, I was trying to calm her down. When we walked in with the baby and all eyes were on me and baby, so I felt a little self-conscious. The waitress was trying to be helpful and said "Is she hungry? We have sterilized bottles if you want one."

Yeah, I'm going to leave home with no way to feed my week old baby. I said "no thank you. She is breastfed." And I sat down to do what I should've done to begin with.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Chronic Chrissy* 
How dare she ? I mean really what gives her the right to pull that shit in my home and to tell me I'm wrong about something she has no idea about ? She tells me that I am going to end up just like my mother, and Kiana just like me when I was a messed up teenager . Then tells me that in about 10-15 years I'll be coming to her asking for help admitting I was wrong. I mean really who the H*LL does she think she is?

Anyways on a better note I went to the pole dancing lessons and had a blast , I highly reccomend it even if you never think you will use it . But then when I returned home DH wanted to know what happened so I told him(you guys got the short version pretaining to parenting mostly but there was so much more) and it took till we fell asleep literally . So I now have it out so I can put it all behind me. Thanks for listening ladies, I feel better now.

Forgot to add the scriest part...
She is in an unstable relationship and is TTC! She wants a baby!
























And, now, because I have a deep-seated advice reflex, I have to comment, but please feel free to ignore this next bit:
I know this situation was completely different when it's actually happening right there to you, but I just had to laugh at her ideas. She's so clearly projecting her own wants (everything she said was *totally* seventeen-year-old) onto your dd. She's projecting her own fears about her relationship onto you and your dh. As you already know, she's utterly self-absorbed, she has no real opinions about your life, she's just been thinking about herself and then it all came out in one big burst. Then you were, quite naturally, offended and you reacted, so she tried to defend her thoughts about how she thought *her* life should be by getting even more absurd with what she was saying and that made you more upset and that made her more upset and so on. Since you're a positive influence in her life, I would hope that once you have calmed down you'll have a talk with her--about her. Ask her about her plans for the future and just listen. It sounds like she's emotionally hollow and wanting to fill the emptiness with stuff and is simply not expressing herself well. And that *is* because she's young.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TanyaS* 
When dd2 was just a week old, we left the house to eat a quick meal out at a small local diner-type place. Dd got fussy as soon as we arrived, and I tried to calm her a bit first. Was feeling flustered because it was probably too soon to be out, but I just needed a change of scenery for a short time. Anyway, I was trying to calm her down. When we walked in with the baby and all eyes were on me and baby, so I felt a little self-conscious. The waitress was trying to be helpful and said "Is she hungry? We have sterilized bottles if you want one."

Yeah, I'm going to leave home with no way to feed my week old baby. I said "no thank you. She is breastfed." And I sat down to do what I should've done to begin with.























for you!! It's so very weird that the restaurant has bottles though. I wonder why?


----------



## naturallia

Wow, I'm surprised they had bottles on hand...


----------



## TanyaS

Quote:


Originally Posted by *naturallia* 
Wow, I'm surprised they had bottles on hand...

It's a family owned restaurant, and I've seen some grandkids running around, so they are probably theirs. They use sippy cups for the kids drinks. I'm just wondering what she would've offered to put in the bottle.


----------



## mama_tigress

Quote:


Originally Posted by *emski4379* 
Someone just asked me: "What kind of tricks can he do?"

Umm, none, he's not a dog!


LOL! My MIL just asked me the same thing tonight: "So, what are his new tricks?" hah...after pausing a moment to quietly laugh to myself, I just said that he's learning how to reach for things, since I'm assuming that's the sort of thing she wanted to hear. But "tricks"???


----------



## canadateacher

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mollyeilis* 
FWIW, DS is nearing 2.5 years, and I still have times with pain. I know that's not very cheerleadery, and my mom (massively into LLL when we were little) would hate to hear me say it, but for me, nursing has not been utterly painfree, and I've just accepted that that's how it is for me.

WTEWYE has changed with editions. It's also amazing how differently people with different perceptions feel about it. When my friends, very mainstream barely thought about how they'd raise their kids just went along with the "usual ways", read it, they ended up feeling oh so guilty. Felt it was preachy, it was granola, felt it was talking down to anyone who wasn't going to grow their own organic grains and have an organic garden, etc etc while pregnant. When *I* read it, I laughed the whole way through, feeling it was ridiculously and obnoxiously mainstream, and that it was quite useless. The thoughts I came away with went like this...(this is NOT what it said, but it's what I got from it, I'm paraphrasing wildly based on my PERCEPTIONS) "reader asks "I drank wine before I knew I was pregnant, have I done baby harm?" they write "well, don't drink any more, but don't worry about what you did before you knew"...reader asks "I smoked pot before I knew, have I done irreparable harm?" they answer "well don't do it any more, and you might want to think about not starting again, but don't worry about what you already did, what's done is done"...reader asks "I've been doing cocaine and heroin, and I'm thinking of starting meth, but I might find out in 2 weeks that I'm pregnant, have I done baby awful harm?" they answer "well, you might want to think about not doing those things, but once you find out if you ARE pregnant, just stop, and don't worry about what you've done, what's in the past is in the past"....."

To my mainstream friends, it felt granola and preachy, to granola me, it felt useless and "don't worry, what's done is done". NOT that I think worrying about something you've done that MIGHT cause problems is the solution, and not that I even think a glass of wine sometimes is horrible (and my mom's more-hippie-than-her friends would have something to say about marijuana as well), but it just seemed like a HUGE waste of space on the shelves of the bookseller's stores....

Well, I have awful images like that in my head every so often. Wouldn't tell them to someone else, but I have 'em. I think maybe your MIL and I have both heard of the way Isadora Duncan died several decades ago, and perhaps it scarred us...









Lol..I see what you mean about different perceptions and that book - I certainly cannot call myself "granola" (although I often wish I could...much respect!), but I am not very mainstream either (in the sense that I just cannot accept that things are done a certain way because "everybody does it" or for convenience - I just follow my instincts). I mostly read WTEWYE, to help feel less terrified of childbirth since I was somewhat clueless (has the opposite affect on some







), and both books led me to do more research on things such as co-sleeping, sling-wearing, extended breast-feeding, etc. So I guess I have to credit it with helping me discover some of my less mainstream beliefs, but in all fairness most of the research came from somewhere else - this site being the most informative yet!!

I'm sorry that you're not painfree either, especially after that long. Even though it's only been 3 1/2 months for me, I've also started to accept that it may never be completely painfree, but the truth is I still wouldn't want to do it any other way. I think I'm used to it enough now that I can still enjoy the experience and just hope that it will be better down the road. Thank-you for sharing your experience!


----------



## mollyeilis

canadateacher, that's interesting that you got a middle response, when it sounds like you're somewhere in the middle of me and my friends!









As for the painfree nursing...I do go long bouts of time where there is no pain, but then I'll ovulate or be on my period, or he'll start getting new teeth and change his latch again, etc etc etc...nothing is as worse as the pain of the yeast in the early days (I don't call it "thrush" because that seems to indicate a problem more in the baby, and his "thrush" was blasted out by 4 days of gentian violet, while my problems lasted for many many months more), so I just get through it. I'm lucky in that I'm my own support system (I myself was nursed until I was 4, all my brothers were until they were 2, and my sister went beyond 4 despite her mom trying several times to stop) and all my late mom's friends write me letters making sure I'm still nursing him, so I'm pretty much surrounded, and pain won't stop me. But I'm sure in a less absolute woman it would cause more problems.

But still, any pain has been less than the yeast, so I'm just glad that's gone.







:


----------



## greenkids

OK, this didn't happen to me but a friend who is a nurse just told me about this (after telling her about this thread) & I told her I had to post it here.

She writes...
"How about a mom who called me because her infant was screaming and after going through a variety of questions to find out what the problem was we came to diet- She wasn't feeding her baby! She was under the impression that the baby had a low-grade fever and therefore could not eat or the milk would curdle in her stomache and the baby would throw up!--Aye !

Even if this were a true finding lets weigh the consequenses between possibly throwing up and an infant not eating for a week!"


----------



## rambunctiouscurls

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chantelle7* 
OK, this didn't happen to me but a friend who is a nurse just told me about this (after telling her about this thread) & I told her I had to post it here.

She writes...
"How about a mom who called me because her infant was screaming and after going through a variety of questions to find out what the problem was we came to diet- She wasn't feeding her baby! She was under the impression that the baby had a low-grade fever and therefore could not eat or the milk would curdle in her stomache and the baby would throw up!--Aye !

Even if this were a true finding lets weigh the consequenses between possibly throwing up and an infant not eating for a week!"

GASP! that's just crazy!


----------



## tatangel19

The stupidest one I ever heard was when I was preggo w/DD1. I went to visit a friends' mom w/her because she needed moral support-even SHE did'nt like her! I was a single teen parent and friends' mom knew it. She asked me if I was going to give DD up for adoption. I, taken aback, replied, "No, I am going to raise her. This lady was like Oh I remember when there where 2 parent families. The only thing I could say was Yeah, Nazi Germany was FULL of them!







: Also, when I had DD1 in the hospital(and this will illistrate why DD2 was born at home) I asked for my baby since they had had her in the nursury for a while and the nurse said "Oh you are so young I did'nt think you were keeping her, so we kept her in the nursury till the REAL parents get here! I was 17! Some people.....







:


----------



## St. Margaret

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chantelle7* 
OK, this didn't happen to me but a friend who is a nurse just told me about this (after telling her about this thread) & I told her I had to post it here.

She writes...
"How about a mom who called me because her infant was screaming and after going through a variety of questions to find out what the problem was we came to diet- She wasn't feeding her baby! She was under the impression that the baby had a low-grade fever and therefore could not eat or the milk would curdle in her stomache and the baby would throw up!--Aye !

Even if this were a true finding lets weigh the consequenses between possibly throwing up and an infant not eating for a week!"

YIKES!!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tatangel19* 
The stupidest one I ever heard was when I was preggo w/DD1. I went to visit a friends' mom w/her because she needed moral support-even SHE did'nt like her! I was a single teen parent and friends' mom knew it. She asked me if I was going to give DD up for adoption. I, taken aback, replied, "No, I am going to raise her. This lady was like Oh I remember when there where 2 parent families. The only thing I could say was Yeah, Nazi Germany was FULL of them!







: Also, when I had DD1 in the hospital(and this will illistrate why DD2 was born at home) I asked for my baby since they had had her in the nursury for a while and the nurse said "Oh you are so young I did'nt think you were keeping her, so we kept her in the nursury till the REAL parents get here! I was 17! Some people.....







:

DOUBLE YIKES!!!!


----------



## MommyCarla

Quote:


Originally Posted by *frodo* 

as for all the people who wouldn't breastfeed because they didn't have any milk, well i REALLY didn't have enough milk. my daughter was a preemie, small even for a preemie (3lbs 6 oz), gaining weight so slowly she was off the curve, & in the special care nursury for 3 weeks. i was having the hardest time letting down to my crappy little manual pump, and the hospital refused to rent us a pump because we choose not to have a credit card. when i finally got her home my milk came in but i started having problems with extreme pain while nursing, due to the fact that her mouth was too small to latch properly, she wanted to nurse every hour or more, & my nipples were traumatized. i am still having trouble with pain & cracks that even lansinoh won't heal (posted "help!" in bfing "overcoming difficulties" board.) even one of the hospital lactation consultants was suggesting i give it up.

my daughter is 6 months old on the 30th. if i can breastfeed for SIX MONTHS through all that & still keep going then these twits can stick it out till their milk comes in. no, of course its not "easy". "easy" is for wussies, not parents.

frodo


I was having fun laughing at some of the crazy comments until I came to your post. I think your post is very rude and disrespectful to those who have had difficulties breastfeeding and as a result stopped. I am one of those mothers you have offended! I REALLY wanted to breastfeed my son and took a lot of crap from family over it. Well, things don't always work out the way we plan. We did ok the first few feedings. there were issues, but we seemed to do ok. I got an infection from my c-section and was told to not breastfeed for a couple of days. i gave formula per their instructions because of the antibiotics i was recieving. When we got back to trying, it was even more difficult. The lactation consultand was crappy and we had several issues with flat/inverted nipples, very large breasts, son not latching properly, etc. we tried for days, but i didn't recieve a lot of help. I decided rahter than hear my baby scream bloody murder, i pumped milk and gave it to him. i pumped day and night with VERY little results. I pumped up to 8 times a day, maybe even more. i was CONSTANTLY pumping. i had very little milk. i had to supplement formula month 1 and 3. i managed to get enough for month 2. i fought with everything i had in me to continue to breastpump. the last weeks i was getting maybe an oz in an hour. the last days, i was probably getting 1/4 oz in an hour. I tried to research help and took tons on fenugreek, which did nothing. i did everything i could because i wanted to be successful with this. it is not always possible and there are some moms with very little milk!!!!!!

sorry, but i had to get that out there! i am not sur eif anyone else said anything about it because i had to stop reading at that post.


----------



## MommyCarla

ok, i just read a bunch more posts and i am puzzled. a lot of moms have talked down on people who have had problems breastfeeding, yet you don't like it when others talk down about you for things like extended breastfeeding or whatever. seriously, total double standard! i think some of you moms who are talking down about others should be ashamed of yourselves. some of you can be downright cruel about others who don't do what you do. wow. hmm.. i thought this site was about supporting others and giving and getting advice, not putting down those who do things differently than you.

sorry, just had to point that out.


----------



## canadateacher

Yep - the yeast is definitely the worst - I am sure I have had problems with latch as well, but when the yeast seemed to be gone, this was more bearable. I shouldn't be calling it thrush either, since DD really isn't showing symptoms anymore, I guess I just find it easier to say that than to say yeast when talking to friends who don't know anything about it







I guess now I have teeth to look forward to...doesn't matter...this baby is going to get breastmilk if it kills me


----------



## canadateacher

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyCarla* 
ok, i just read a bunch more posts and i am puzzled. a lot of moms have talked down on people who have had problems breastfeeding, yet you don't like it when others talk down about you for things like extended breastfeeding or whatever. seriously, total double standard! i think some of you moms who are talking down about others should be ashamed of yourselves. some of you can be downright cruel about others who don't do what you do. wow. hmm.. i thought this site was about supporting others and giving and getting advice, not putting down those who do things differently than you.

sorry, just had to point that out.

I have to agree with you! When I started reading this thread (I didn't even know what the site was, I searched something and came across the thread by accident), I thought it was hilarious and I was glad to find a group of people who did not seem judgmental and shared many of my beliefs. As I kept reading I found a lot of situations where people were telling their stories and then getting put down by people on this site. Seems pretty hypocritical. I almost stopped reading, but then realized that the people who are making these comments don't speak for everyone and there are a lot of really great people who respect differing opinions. I'm sorry for your breastfeeding problems and I think you are amazing for doing everything you did to try to continue breastfeeding. Please excuse my line in my last post "This baby is going to get breastmilk if it kills me" - just a figure of speech, I am not sure I would have lasted as long as you did!!


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chantelle7* 
OK, this didn't happen to me but a friend who is a nurse just told me about this (after telling her about this thread) & I told her I had to post it here.

She writes...
"How about a mom who called me because her infant was screaming and after going through a variety of questions to find out what the problem was we came to diet- She wasn't feeding her baby! She was under the impression that the baby had a low-grade fever and therefore could not eat or the milk would curdle in her stomache and the baby would throw up!--Aye !

Even if this were a true finding lets weigh the consequenses between possibly throwing up and an infant not eating for a week!"









: Well, better you should find out about it from the nurse she called for help than on the news, n'est-ce pas?


----------



## St. Margaret

Regarding the BFing and FFing posts above-- you will find that many people here will make general comments that are aimed at those who lack the support/education or willingness to properly establish and maintain a BFing relationship. They are not speaking of the tiny % of women who medically could not BF. We go through this every once in a while, but typically people will not add that caveat every time they post regarding BFing. ((But you should know this IS a NFL site that of course fully believes in exlcusive "extended" BFing, if you weren't aware of that aspect of this community.)) BUT I would say, stick around and hope that next time you can have some more information to help you even more through the struggles that can come up! Check out the "breastfeeding challenges" board to find other mothers who can relate.

Okay, craziest thing said... how about the coworker who told DH today that when his time came, he'd totally want a "4D ultrasound" like the one this guy got this week? (after DH said we'd never get one.) Yeah, b/c YOU want creepy pics of your baby in its cozy womb, that needlessly subject it to u/s, we MUST want to as well!


----------



## MommyCarla

You can't fault someone who "lack the support/education". I lacked support, but educated myself the best that i could. Obvioulsy, it wasn't enough. This is a big problem, not just an individuals problem. There is lack of support and education from professionals that pregnant women encounter. I took breastfeeding classes and read books, but it still wasn't enough.

I have no idea what "NFL" means, sorry.

I heard about this site from someone who told me that you guys offer great breastfeeding support. I may be pregnant with #2, so I am trying to get a head start on all the help I can get. i am dettermined to make it work for #4 like someone else said "if it kills me". LOL. I have noone to turn to here. All I have is the internet and books. Like I believe I have said from my previous experience, the lactation consultant i got helpo from was no real help. Most she ever did was tell me to use a breast shield. She was very rough with my baby shaking his head on my boob while the poor thing screamed for dear life. I did not like her! So yea, I came here for the breastfeeding help in case I am preggo.

breastfeeding is just a touchy subject for me as i have been looked down on because of my challenges and decisions reguarding it. I just can't seem to win, ya know?


----------



## boingo82

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyCarla* 
..
breastfeeding is just a touchy subject for me as i have been looked down on because of my challenges and decisions reguarding it. I just can't seem to win, ya know?

NFL means Natural Family Living.

Please don't judge this site by the rants of a few. We have a saying around here, "When you know better, you do better." All of us have made mistakes or had things not work out how we wanted.
Kudos to you for trying to find info on breastfeeding. There is a great support forum here, and even if you don't have support locally we'd be happy to root for you. I am sorry to hear the LC last time was so unhelpful. I'm sure with better support this time you can make it work!!


----------



## LadyButler

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyCarla* 
I have no idea what "NFL" means, sorry.

Natural Family Living.







(National Football League as well.. but that doesn't apply here... at least not usually!!!)


----------



## St. Margaret

Yes, get to know our community a bit. Spend some time reading and getting a sense for the many different views and experiences here. I didn't say I was faulting anyone for lack of support! In fact, you will find many here who work actively for better societal support for BFing to help mothers that currently lack this! We know it's not an issue of individuals but society as a whole, leave practices, etc. It really is a great place once you get to know it more generally, trust me. And I fully believe in "when you know better, you do better" as a mantra. But this certainly is a place for learning! And there are many passionate people here.


----------



## MommyCarla

thanks ladies. this is exactly the kind of support i was talking about







I do plan to stick around







I am going to need all the help i can get! lol

thanks again!


----------



## KBug

Carla - google Jack Newman if you want and find his website. Truly great BFing info including video clips to watch babies latch, feed, breast compressions...


----------



## ecoteat

I had to take my 5.5 mo dd to the ped last week. While the intern was looking her over, she asked "What does she like to drink?"

Ummm... what did she expect me to say? Kool-aid? Whiskey?


----------



## Jay'smom

This isn't something that anyone said, but something I read that I thought was really strange. Gerber makes these little fruit and veggie puffs. They are marketed as food for beginner self feeders-hopefully some of you have seen these. They're about the size of Lucky Charms, maybe a little bigger. I was reading the nutrition label and a serving of these is 80 puffs!







: First it cracked me up for some reason to think of a little new self feeder with a pile of these puffs sitting on a high chair tray. Then it made me a little sad to think that inevitably someone will think that it's a good idea to give a little one 80 of these things.


----------



## Piercedboy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jay'smom* 
This isn't something that anyone said, but something I read that I thought was really strange. Gerber makes these little fruit and veggie puffs. They are marketed as food for beginner self feeders-hopefully some of you have seen these. They're about the size of Lucky Charms, maybe a little bigger. I was reading the nutrition label and a serving of these is 80 puffs!







: First it cracked me up for some reason to think of a little new self feeder with a pile of these puffs sitting on a high chair tray. Then it made me a little sad to think that inevitably someone will think that it's a good idea to give a little one 80 of these things.


These are delicious! I love the banana ones, but I'm not such a little one, hehe.


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ecoteat* 
I had to take my 5.5 mo dd to the ped last week. While the intern was looking her over, she asked "What does she like to drink?"

Ummm... what did she expect me to say? Kool-aid? Whiskey?

Highballs, sidecars, mudslides and strong black coffee


----------



## mollyeilis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyCarla* 
You can't fault someone who "lack the support/education". I lacked support, but educated myself the best that i could. Obvioulsy, it wasn't enough. This is a big problem, not just an individuals problem. There is lack of support and education from professionals that pregnant women encounter. I took breastfeeding classes and read books, but it still wasn't enough.

breastfeeding is just a touchy subject for me as i have been looked down on because of my challenges and decisions reguarding it. I just can't seem to win, ya know?

I think something you might have skipped over in the post you originally replied to, is that she seems to be directing her vent towards those who decide to stop BEFORE their milk even comes in. When it's still supposed to be colostrum.

I don't think she's venting about women who TRY, and try really hard. But rather MOST of the women I know I run into in real life who give lip-service to "trying", but when you ask more questions, you find out it was pretty much an instantaneous giving up situation.

I'm not sure I've ever seen anyone post here in a vent about someone who really tried. And since the percentage of women with true, absolute problems is SO low, the majority of women one runs into who is not b'feeding is not one of that small percentage, unless the community you live in is extraordinary!

So please don't take that sort of thing personally, OK?

Good luck with future nursing!!!


----------



## Awaken

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ecoteat* 
I had to take my 5.5 mo dd to the ped last week. While the intern was looking her over, she asked "What does she like to drink?"

Ummm... what did she expect me to say? Kool-aid? Whiskey?


Quote:


Originally Posted by *CryPixie83* 
Highballs, sidecars, mudslides and strong black coffee

















It reminds me of when we were in college, a friend of mine from high school had a baby. I had called to see how she was doing after having the baby, and asked her 'so what does she like to eat?' I was SO clueless about babies in general. I still cringe when I think of that- I truly had NO IDEA! But, at least she said, 'breastmilk!'

ps. although I would *hope* that a medical intern would know more, but I guess that is too optimistic.


----------



## Eather

My ds is now 20 months old but when he was 2 weeks old I was asked if he was sleeping through the night yet, I said only when I sedate him.


----------



## moppity

My DD is very affectionate, always has been. At mothers group she goes around and hugs and kisses all the other kids and is always running back to me for a hug and a kiss. Anyway, one of the other Mums there said to me one day "oh she's so affectionate, thats so cute, how did you teach her that?"

Um, hugging boot camp??

To clarify though, these mums are ALL 'flashcard', CIO etc kinda people.


----------



## guestmama9911

Quote:


Originally Posted by *moppity* 
My DD is very affectionate, always has been. At mothers group she goes around and hugs and kisses all the other kids and is always running back to me for a hug and a kiss. Anyway, one of the other Mums there said to me one day "oh she's so affectionate, thats so cute, how did you teach her that?"

Um, hugging boot camp??

To clarify though, these mums are ALL 'flashcard', CIO etc kinda people.

That is very sweet!


----------



## NaomiLorelie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Eather* 
My ds is now 20 months old but when he was 2 weeks old I was asked if he was sleeping through the night yet, I said only when I sedate him.









Only on the nights I kick back 2 bottles of wine.


----------



## beanbean

Quote:


Originally Posted by *moppity* 
My DD is very affectionate, always has been. At mothers group she goes around and hugs and kisses all the other kids and is always running back to me for a hug and a kiss. Anyway, one of the other Mums there said to me one day "oh she's so affectionate, thats so cute, how did you teach her that?"

Um, hugging boot camp??

To clarify though, these mums are ALL 'flashcard', CIO etc kinda people.

I'm kind of confused -- are you implying that "flashcard, CIO type-people" don't have affectionate children? I'm missing the connection.


----------



## guestmama9911

Quote:


Originally Posted by *beanbean* 
I'm kind of confused -- are you implying that "flashcard, CIO type-people" don't have affectionate children? I'm missing the connection.

I think she was saying that these are people who think there is some technique that is used to teach children affection, maybe some book or new video.


----------



## greenkids

And I thought I had the lingo down!?! What does "flashcard" & "CIO" refer too?


----------



## LadyButler

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chantelle7* 
And I thought I had the lingo down!?! What does "flashcard" & "CIO" refer too?

You got me on the flashcard... but CIO is Cry It Out (put child in crib and let them cry themselves to sleep)...


----------



## ladyslipper

I hate to tell because I am commenting on my mom but she told me that she thought it was bad that I was breast feeding my 5 month old dd since she had a cold. I asked her what I should be giving her and she explained anything but milk, then suggested juice. She thought my breastmilk would make my dd more congested. I love my mom.


----------



## Caroline248

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ladyslipper* 
I hate to tell because I am commenting on my mom but she told me that she thought it was bad that I was breast feeding my 5 month old dd since she had a cold. I asked her what I should be giving her and she explained anything but milk, then suggested juice. She thought my breastmilk would make my dd more congested. I love my mom.

When I was a new mom I thought this as well...and suggested to my DH we give the baby formula while he was sick. He thought that was a great idea, until we read that formula was milk-based anyway...

Of course, we were 19 years old at the time....


----------



## Wolfcat

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chantelle7* 
And I thought I had the lingo down!?! What does "flashcard" & "CIO" refer too?

"Flashcard" is kind of a Parenthood reference...
If you've ever seen the movie, Rick Moranis' character has a preschooler who is doing really complicated math problems from flashcards that they go over and over... it is portrayed as really anal and emotionally distant.


----------



## hotpreggermama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PumpkinSeeds* 
My MIL said that by nursing my ds I was going to turn him into a homosexual.

Woah, how on earth did the human race survive before Nestle?


----------



## thefragile7393

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hotpreggermama* 
Woah, how on earth did the human race survive before Nestle?

I love this!!!

It's funny, growing up I just assumed that breastfeeding is what people did....that it was the only way to feed a child. Then later I learned about formula but assumed it was because the mom was sick and couldn't feed.


----------



## mntnmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *juicylucy* 
(right on front of my poor DH)

"you know you can find out now if you baby is going to be gay whilst you are pregnant (







: )- if I had found that out with you (DH) I would have had an abortion." Nice.

OMG!! THat's on the top 10 of the most horrible things I've ever heard!! I hope to god she just has a twisted sense of humor!


----------



## mommyof2soon2b3

Well my husband and I went to his uncles house and told him that I was prego (with #1) and the uncle asked well why didn't you kick her in the stomach and push her down a hill?He was serious...I was so mad I that I almost cried...Then when DD was born he called her a cocksucker sorry for language it was disgusting...Some people just need a brain...It still makes me mad til this day and DD is 4 1/2


----------



## CryPixie83

omg... the things people say...







:


----------



## pjlioness

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CryPixie83* 
omg... the things people say...







:

Yeah, no kidding. Very special.







:


----------



## chandistar

the ususual stuff like put her in her crib and let her cry herself to sleep, or crying is good for her lungs or give her a bottle she's not getting enough or she needs to cry to learn how to soothe herself. it is sooooooo annoying.


----------



## LadyButler

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommyof2soon2b3* 
Well my husband and I went to his uncles house and told him that I was prego (with #1) and the uncle asked well why didn't you kick her in the stomach and push her down a hill?He was serious...I was so mad I that I almost cried...Then when DD was born he called her a cocksucker sorry for language it was disgusting...Some people just need a brain...It still makes me mad til this day and DD is 4 1/2


















That has got to be one of the most horrible things I've ever heard. Tell me he doesn't have children of his own... and if he does- tell me he doesn't treat them like that!

4 1/2 years or 34 1/2 years... it would still make me angry.







:


----------



## User101

This thread is closed for moderator review. It's late here, and I'm tired, so it might be tomorrow til it's reopened.

Thank you for your patience!

Annette


----------



## User101

Opening it up again. Play nice, mamas. If you see something that worries you, please report it. Thanks!


----------



## dnr3301

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Eather* 
My ds is now 20 months old but when he was 2 weeks old I was asked if he was sleeping through the night yet, I said only when I sedate him.









I honestly can't remember if I've posted this or not (I've been following this thread since its inception, and posted a few times) but when ds was born, the very next day, barely 24 hrs old, and my FIL asked me if he was on a schedule yet. I jut looked at him and said, "he's only one day old," and thought, How would one even figure out what that schedule was, it had only happened maybe once!

I think he was just trying to make conversation.









Oh, and this thread has been around since christmas time 4 years ago, and it got closed? What happened? wait, don't tell me, I'm not curious, I'm trying to express shock.


----------



## NewCrunchyDaddy

subbing


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommyof2soon2b3* 
Well my husband and I went to his uncles house and told him that I was prego (with #1) and the uncle asked well why didn't you kick her in the stomach and push her down a hill?He was serious

That was the last time you ever saw this man, right?


----------



## rmzbm

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
That was the last time you ever saw this man, right?

OMG!!!!! That ^ is just what I was going to say! I'd be terrified to be around someone like that!







I am SO sorry you had to endure that! WOW!


----------



## Corvus

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommyof2soon2b3* 
Well my husband and I went to his uncles house and told him that I was prego (with #1) and the uncle asked well why didn't you kick her in the stomach and push her down a hill?He was serious...I was so mad I that I almost cried...Then when DD was born he called her a cocksucker sorry for language it was disgusting...Some people just need a brain...It still makes me mad til this day and DD is 4 1/2

I hope you have a blanket policy that you never leave your children alone with your DH's uncle. Anyone who would call a child that word raises serious red flags for me.


----------



## mollyeilis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommyof2soon2b3* 
Well my husband and I went to his uncles house and told him that I was prego (with #1) and the uncle asked well why didn't you kick her in the stomach and push her down a hill?He was serious...I was so mad I that I almost cried...Then when DD was born he called her a cocksucker sorry for language it was disgusting...Some people just need a brain...It still makes me mad til this day and DD is 4 1/2


Oh man....

Sounds like the uncle of a friend of ours, though. He wasn't as verbal about things, but his sister (my friend's mom) let him live with them, and he once hid in the closet with a hatchet and sprang out at our friend when he got home from middle school. Another time he hid and when our friend got in range, he shot our friend with a pistol. Turns out they were blanks, but the fear nearly killed our friend, who was just a child at the time.

Scarily, our friend laughs about it...even though the uncle still does beyond-bizarre things like that...

I am quite sure you won't be like our friend's mom and let that guy visit, ever. And thank goodness for that!


----------



## mntnmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *candiland* 
.
About my son: "He's UNCIRCUMCISED?" "No, he is INTACT." "You know, that is so disgusting. Uncirc'd penises are gross and no one will ever want to have sex with him."







:

Somebody ought to tell the women in the other 80-90% of the world that intact penises are "gross."


----------



## mommyof2soon2b3

I NEVER went to his uncle's house again and I would NEVER leave her with someone that would say that...It just goes to show that people can be VERY ignorant...Yes he did have kids of his own and they were all adults that acted just like him so yeah...I am so glad I NEVER have to worry about him anymore


----------



## Blue Lotus

Tonight DH and I were coming out of a store (he was carrying dd, who is 5.5 mo old), when we passed a woman and her daughter. The girl was probably about 7/8 years old, and was whining/crying about something, but I don't know what. Her mom looked at dd, than back to her daughter and said rather snottily "I liked you better at that age...you didn't talk"









Poor kid. We told our dd that we would love her at any age, no matter what!


----------



## emski4379

FIL and I (and DS of course) were at Jersey Mike's having lunch today, and one of the sandwich maker ladies comes over to DS (who is only 11 mo), and asks if he wants a cookie! I know she was just trying to be nice, but I was like no. She asked me if he could have the chocolate chip, and I just kept saying no, we don't give him sugar, and she looked at me like I was crazy!

Hello, he's just a baby! What does he need a cookie for?


----------



## cellarstella

ooh I can't stand when people talk like that about their kids, especially right in front of them, and in public no less! How incredibly demeaning and humiliating!









I nearly confronted a woman who was talking loudly and disrespectfully to her kids in the store but I was in a hurry, DD was in the car with DH and very tired and needed to get home pronto! I saw that her kids were all adolescents so it didn't look like anything I said could undo much. I still kind of wish I'd said something but, like I said, I was thinking of my own DD. She was calling her kids "jerks" and said she'd hurt them if they touched anything in the store, stuff like that. GRRRRR!


----------



## cellarstella

Quote:


Originally Posted by *emski4379* 

Hello, he's just a baby! What does he need a cookie for?

Oh I just can't wait for when people start trying to feed my kid crap.


----------



## faerierose

Ok, I just found this thread a few days ago and I haven't gotten through all of it but I have a few stories of my own. I've gotten all the usual "you hold that baby to much" "You spoil him" "You feed him too much" "Your still nursing??" and such but there have been a few extreme ones...

Two years ago I took DS#1 to the Ped because of an ear infection (his first at age 5), She ended up asking about development stuff and how I was handling discipline. This Doc actually told me to spank him and to give him cough meds if I couldn't get him to bed at night...I was like WTF this doctor just told me to beat and drug my child. I was so shocked I didn't know what to say. We never went back.

Just last week my mother came for a surprise visit, she has always told me I hold my babies to much and is ALWAYS finding some reason why I should stop nursing. DS#2 is now 20 months, he is going to be a late talker, (both DS#1 and DD were early talkers) so my mother tells me that he isn't talking because I held him so much. I asked why she would think that. Well apparently because I didn't let him CIO he doesn't know he should communicate what he wants/needs w/ his voice...I'm like OK mom, whatever... That's not as bad as when DD is about 2 months old, she had reflux and it was a VERY difficult time for her and me because she was in so much pain. My mother told me I should just switch to formula because my milk was making her sick.


----------



## Awaken

Quote:


Originally Posted by *emski4379* 
FIL and I (and DS of course) were at Jersey Mike's having lunch today, and one of the sandwich maker ladies comes over to DS (who is only 11 mo), and asks if he wants a cookie! I know she was just trying to be nice, but I was like no. She asked me if he could have the chocolate chip, and I just kept saying no, we don't give him sugar, and she looked at me like I was crazy!

Hello, he's just a baby! What does he need a cookie for?

Oh, I cant stand that- anywhere we go, if one of my kids has a snack (which they frequently do), people assume it's cookies or candy. I don't get it! When I was waiting in a lab office to get bloodwork done, my ds was about 18 mos. and had a pretzel, and people were talking to him saying "oh, can I share your candy, baby?" and my now 11 mo old, was eating a rice cake and people were asking him about his cookie.


----------



## prettypixels

Ooooh I have a new one!!!!!

I mentioned something to my MIL about smoking and the baby... that I worry about the smell of smoke in thier clothes (both my in-laws smoke and let me tell you... they REEEEEK) with a new little baby. (FWIW I only confessed this after she told me she'd been scared to let her mom hold her babies, thought she'd drop them... and her mom had NINE kids!) Anyways, her response...

"You should expose her to smoke early! Or she might develop an allergy!"








:


----------



## sweedma

When servers at restaurants have offered my EBF 10-month-old a cookie, my husband has said "sure" and eaten it himself! At this one place we go, they usually have no idea how old babies are and have been trained to offer it to all children (along with crayons, a kids' menu, other things we don't need.)


----------



## prettypixels

Quote:

This Doc actually told me to spank him and to give him cough meds if I couldn't get him to bed at night...I was like WTF this doctor just told me to beat and drug my child. I was so shocked I didn't know what to say. We never went back.
WTF!!!!







:







:


----------



## NewCrunchyDaddy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *prettypixels* 
Ooooh I have a new one!!!!!

I mentioned something to my MIL about smoking and the baby... that I worry about the smell of smoke in thier clothes (both my in-laws smoke and let me tell you... they REEEEEK) with a new little baby. (FWIW I only confessed this after she told me she'd been scared to let her mom hold her babies, thought she'd drop them... and her mom had NINE kids!) Anyways, her response...

"You should expose her to smoke early! Or she might develop an allergy!"








:

























Sweet Fancy Moses!







:







I read this to DW and she said "That is _the_ dumbest thing I have heard in a _loooong_ time!"


----------



## greenkids

Quote:


Originally Posted by *prettypixels* 

I mentioned something to my MIL about smoking and the baby... that I worry about the smell of smoke in thier clothes (both my in-laws smoke and let me tell you... they REEEEEK) with a new little baby. (FWIW I only confessed this after she told me she'd been scared to let her mom hold her babies, thought she'd drop them... and her mom had NINE kids!) Anyways, her response...

"You should expose her to smoke early! Or she might develop an allergy!"








:

I am really not shocked by that one. I can't believe how many people I argue that one with. Although no one has said to expose to PREVENT allergy!

I have friends tell me they don't believe in the "second-hand smoke" thing, that it's made-up.







Of course these same people are smokers, I always say (as politely as I can), "Well when I'm around you after you've smoked my chest feels tight & wheezy. At parties if I am exposed to lots of 2nd hand smoke I even cough crap up the next day & I get a sore throat". They never have a response after that.


----------



## catnip

I think the supposed logic in this goes with the recent studies showing that children raised in homes that are not kept immaculately dust-free and with pets have lower instances of asthma.


----------



## prettypixels

Quote:


Originally Posted by *catnip* 
I think the supposed logic in this goes with the recent studies showing that children raised in homes that are not kept immaculately dust-free and with pets have lower instances of asthma.

We have a dog and plenty of dust, so no worries on that front!









For folks who don't believe in secondhand smoke, they sure are going to be mad now that a new study about THIRD hand smoke is coming out. That refers to the smoke/chemicals that smokers emit everywhere they go from their pores, breath, and clothing. My FIL gets in the car with me after smoking and I have to open the window and turn a fan on... I feel awful about it, but!!!

It makes me cringe when I think of handing my tiny, clean baby to them. But I try to keep telling myself, "Self... you used to be a smoker, and you held babies! Be nice!"







: I quit four years ago, thank all the powers that be in the universe!!!!!!!


----------



## catnip

Oh, yeah, Not defending such a stupid idea, just trying to follow the (il)logic of the resoning.


----------



## greenkids

Quote:


Originally Posted by *prettypixels* 
For folks who don't believe in secondhand smoke, they sure are going to be mad now that a new study about THIRD hand smoke is coming out. That refers to the smoke/chemicals that smokers emit everywhere they go from their pores, breath, and clothing.

That's exactly what I was referring to when I said "after you smoke". Sometimes I think that's worse than the actual smoke! At least it seems to smell worse.

Prettypixels&#8230; Congrats on quitting, so many of my friends that I referred to are trying to, I know it's hard!


----------



## the_queen

My sister's husband is a very heaver smoker. She's 41w2d pregnant right now (and 1cm dilated, and has refused induction







!!!) When she got pregnant, my parents were concerned about his smoking. He smokes in the house, in their bedroom, he smokes in the car while she's driving (see, he hardly ever drives because he's generally drunk) and after telling everyone to mind their own f****n business, he said: "She gets exposed to worse things just walking down the street - car exhaust fumes are worse than cigarette smoke"







:

She plans on co-sleeping, with a side-car set up (that's what I have) and I've told her about the 3rd-hand-smoke theory. But she's not strong enough to stand up to him


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *the_queen* 
"She gets exposed to worse things just walking down the street - car exhaust fumes are worse than cigarette smoke"







:









: indeed. The money for asthma medication better be coming out of the money that used to go for his alcohol.







:


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sweedma* 
When servers at restaurants have offered my EBF 10-month-old a cookie, my husband has said "sure" and eaten it himself! At this one place we go, they usually have no idea how old babies are and have been trained to offer it to all children (along with crayons, a kids' menu, other things we don't need.)









We had a server at Bob Evans offer us a booster seat (not a high chair), a kids menu and crayons for both of our kids, inlcuding my ds who was about 3 weeks old at the time.


----------



## Shenjall

I was offerered booster seats for my 6 and 10 yr old.


----------



## CryPixie83

omg Shenjall, I love you siggie!







Must recite that to DH!

Quote:

Deep Thought: Some people are like slinkies; they dont really have a purpose, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.


----------



## Shenjall

Thanks! I must admit, I recite it in my head daily.


----------



## LaurenB

This is an amazingly long thread. I've been reading it for ages now and I still have miles to go. I do not have children yet (and you can bet I hear about it all the time!) but both of my sisters do. I can't believe the idiotic things my mother has said to me about the ways my sisters are choosing to raise their babies. And she takes great personal offense at the idea that there might be some new information about babies since the '70s and people do things differently now.

She's been really antsy for my sister to give her baby solids for months. The baby is not even 6 months yet. Well, back in the good ol' '70s my mom gave us solids at a few weeks old and look how great we turned out! I didn't have the heart to point out that I'm overweight and both of my sisters have digestive issues.

So my sister recently let her baby try some water from a cup. My mom has been gloating ever since like it's a victory or something. "I'm so glad they *finally* let her have water!! She's seemed thirsty for awhile!!"







It was so maudlin. I said something sarcastic about how dry my sister's breast milk much be.


----------



## Roxswood

Yeah don't you know breasts make powdered milk now?


----------



## WNB

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chantelle7* 
That's exactly what I was referring to when I said "after you smoke". Sometimes I think that's worse than the actual smoke! At least it seems to smell worse.

Prettypixels&#8230; Congrats on quitting, so many of my friends that I referred to are trying to, I know it's hard!









Rather than debate science with them, you might just say you don't like it because it makes your baby stink like smoke.

I am not a smoker, and I concede the fact that as a consequence of the whole liberty deal, adults get to choose what substances enter their bodies - I can't make someone not smoke. But I don't have to put a happy face on it and pointedly ignore the nasty effects their habit has on me or my child either - and smelling like smoke is a nasty effect.


----------



## Minerva

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sweedma* 
When servers at restaurants have offered my EBF 10-month-old a cookie, my husband has said "sure" and eaten it himself!

Urg. We get that alot, too. Yesterday the waitress was trying to give Abby candy ("because it's Halloween, and all kids like candy on Halloween!"). No, she's only nine months. She doesn't get candy.

And to top it off, the same waitress was telling us how she started her children on rice cereal by 4 months because they were so hungry, and that Abby must eat lots of cereal because she's so big. She refused to believe that Abby's still exclusively breastfed ("No cereal? No baby food? Are you sure?" were her exact words, followed by much head-shaking).







:


----------



## guestmama9911

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Minerva* 
("No cereal? No baby food? Are you sure?" were her exact words, followed by much head-shaking).







:

Sure I'm sure, except for those times when I'm passed out on the couch for hours at I time. Then I guess it's possible that she's feeding herself.


----------



## emski4379

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LaurenB* 
"I'm so glad they *finally* let her have water!! She's seemed thirsty for awhile!!"







It was so maudlin. I said something sarcastic about how dry my sister's breast milk much be.

Ugh, my mom would say this all the time. "Doesn't he need something else to drink?" No mom, he'll drink after his meal, unless you want me to whip the booby out right here and lean over so he can gulp some down.







:


----------



## prettypixels

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WNB* 
Rather than debate science with them, you might just say you don't like it because it makes your baby stink like smoke.

I am not a smoker, and I concede the fact that as a consequence of the whole liberty deal, adults get to choose what substances enter their bodies - I can't make someone not smoke. But I don't have to put a happy face on it and pointedly ignore the nasty effects their habit has on me or my child either - and smelling like smoke is a nasty effect.

I don't usually debate science with them, it is futile!









Anyways, smokers cannot usually smell smoke... at least, I couldn't. I never understood why people made such a big fuss about the smell!!!!







: Seriously it does alter your brain patterns, IMO! (In retrospect!)

Anyways I don't mean to derail the thread. I haven't had that much parenting advice yet. Altho the same MIL did tell me that she used to sleep through both her boys crying at night, and if her husband were at work or out of town she just wouldn't hear them at all. When I asked why she didn't just move them into her room so she could hear them, she said "Well, then you'd NEVER get them out," of her two, now married, sons.







Not surprising I know, but it makes me sad to think of these little babies crying and crying while mama slept soundly a hallway away.


----------



## AmyG

I love the people who think that big babies need solids. My boys were both exceptionally large, and people would always comment on it and then ask me what I fed them. I always replied, "Just my milk," and then they'd proceed to tell me how my babies were starving. How on earth would my children have gotten that big on just my milk if it wasn't enough to sustain them at that weight? I've also had a lot of people tell me, "Wow, you must make really good milk," like the average woman has smaller children because she's making skim milk. Sometimes I just laugh and say, "No, I just spin in circles really fast before I feed them so that the cream rises to the top."


----------



## NewCrunchyDaddy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AmyG* 
I've also had a lot of people tell me, "Wow, you must make really good milk," like the average woman has smaller children because she's making skim milk. Sometimes I just laugh and say, "No, I just spin in circles really fast before I feed them so that the cream rises to the top."









:


----------



## Wittyone

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AmyG* 
I've also had a lot of people tell me, "Wow, you must make really good milk," like the average woman has smaller children because she's making skim milk. Sometimes I just laugh and say, "No, I just spin in circles really fast before I feed them so that the cream rises to the top."









: What a great reply







I'd totally love to use this but I'd start cracking up before it was out of my mouth!


----------



## bandgeek

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AmyG* 
Sometimes I just laugh and say, "No, I just spin in circles really fast before I feed them so that the cream rises to the top."









I'm going to have to remember that one!


----------



## Flower of Bliss

I finally read all 167 pages! It feels like such an accomplishment







Now I'll actually allow myself to add my own.

From my BIL's GF, who is a L&D nurse:
When I said at 4 weeks pregnant that I wasn't sure if we'd have an ultrasound:
Not having an ultrasound is seriously risking your baby's life!







: When I'm pregnant I'll have an ultrasound everyday to make certain that the baby is ok.









After I delivered my 5lbs 15oz compound presentation DD in less than 4 hours, resulting in a 4th degree tear:
HER: You'll have to have c-sections for any future babies if they are larger than her.
ME: I believe that my body can birth any baby I can grow.
HER: Oh no, we have babies get stuck all the time.







:

After telling me and my IL's all about this OB at her hospital who is "_so_ pro-BF she is _still_ BF her 18 month old", she proceeded to tell us how she and the other nurses tease her and all of the jokes they make.







All of this while I was nursing my DD








HER: So, how long do you plan to BF?
ME: At least 18 months, probably longer.
HER: _If_ I BF, it certainly won't be _that_ long.
ME: Well, the AAP recommends BF at least 1 year, and WHO recommends at least 2 years.

Fortunately, my IL's, all of whom FF, have been very supportive of me BF. I have received no rude remarks, even when BF in front of everyone. They've been very positive









From my 3 year old niece: When are you going to feed Azalea beans? Can I get her beans? Babies eat beans.... We weren't eating beans. She was just convinced that was what babies eat









Most bothersome to me, my MIL keeps telling me: "I love hearing babies cry. It means that they're lungs work"







: doesn't the fact that she is alive and breathing mean they work







: She's even told me as my beautiful baby was cooing and talking, "I like that sounds too, but still crying is my favorite"







: Now she's telling me "I love to hear babies cry, except that you keep taking her away"


----------



## NewCrunchyDaddy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sage72380* 
HER: Oh no, we have babies get stuck all the time.







:

And this is supposed to make you want to give birth her way?







Seems to me she's making the argument for







- if hospital births are getting stuck all the time.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sage72380* 
Most bothersome to me, my MIL keeps telling me: "I love hearing babies cry. It means that they're lungs work"







: doesn't the fact that she is alive and breathing mean they work







: She's even told me as my beautiful baby was cooing and talking, "I like that sounds too, but still crying is my favorite"







: Now she's telling me "I love to hear babies cry, except that you keep taking her away"

















I don't even know what to say to this, seems a wonder your DH made it


----------



## Flower of Bliss

Yes, she does not make me want to give birth at her hospital for sure. I am so glad that this woman was not my nurse. I had a wonderful hospital birth (though I am considering







for future births). Unfortunately now she's my SIL (she was just BIL's GF through all of the quotes). My IL's think she is just wonderful. I'm just hoping that she doesn't make my IL's think I'm making poor decisions.

Yeah, I agree. My MIL loves babies. She had 4. She means well. She's been a primary care taker of 2 of her grandkids. All of that said, I would never leave DD alone with her (at least not for many years), and DH completely agrees.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sage72380* 
Most bothersome to me, my MIL keeps telling me: "I love hearing babies cry. It means that they're lungs work"







: doesn't the fact that she is alive and breathing mean they work







: She's even told me as my beautiful baby was cooing and talking, "I like that sounds too, but still crying is my favorite"







: Now she's telling me "I love to hear babies cry, except that you keep taking her away"









Ooo, I know what to say to this. Smile sweetly and in the gentlest voice possible "yes, I do, I keep hoping you'll learn your lesson"

Small babies get stuck because gravity doesn't help as much.


----------



## cinnamonamon

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NewCrunchyDaddy* 
And this is supposed to make you want to give birth her way?







Seems to me she's making the argument for







- if hospital births are getting stuck all the time.


Don't you know -- this happens to ALL babies... that's why homebirths are so incredibly dangerous :rollseyes

I just have to note that I had an ultrasound today, and unlike the one with ds2, the technician had no incompetent comments to make. She was actually quite nice & friendly!

I believe I posted those stellar bits of wisdom when they happened (over 2 years ago -- eek!), but I'll toss them in there, for your reading pleasure:

"Wow, it sure is a boy -- no worries about him -- it's plenty big; want me to measure it for you?"

"I heard it ["it" being childbirth/pregnancy] explained best when one of the doctor's in the office said that human bodies are just not made to grow watermelons and then have them shoved out tiny holes in our bodies" (and yes, after I picked my jaw up off the ground I did inform him that women's bodies WERE created to grow human babies that would then be sent through the BIRTH canal to be born).

and finally, "you want to have a HOMEBIRTH after having a c/s?! You'll have to talk to our doctor here about THAT." Because it is, of course, some other, random doctor's decision how I birth my child...









By the way... it's a boy







And for the record, the ultrasound was primarily for placenta placement reasons since I'll be VBA2Cing


----------



## mollyeilis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cinnamonamon* 
"Wow, it sure is a boy -- no worries about him -- it's plenty big; want me to measure it for you?"

By the way... it's a boy







And for the record, the ultrasound was primarily for placenta placement reasons since I'll be VBA2Cing










The ultrasound person wanted to measure your boy's bits and pieces?







:

Yay for VBA2C plans! I'll put out my positive thoughts for you now, so it's "out there" when the time comes.







..... there, did ya feel that?


----------



## cinnamonamon

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mollyeilis* 
The ultrasound person wanted to measure your boy's bits and pieces?







:

Yay for VBA2C plans! I'll put out my positive thoughts for you now, so it's "out there" when the time comes.







..... there, did ya feel that?









Yea...ha ha ha









And thanks! I'll actually be at a great birthcenter, too -- it's amazing how different the philosophies are here as opposed to Florida -- BCs are a whole different animal down there with all kinds of rules, etc.


----------



## mollyeilis

You can do it at a birthcenter!!!??? Wow. In WA you can't even do a VBAC, or pretty much any birth that falls from the norm, at a birthcenter...


----------



## cellarstella

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mollyeilis* 
You can do it at a birthcenter!!!??? Wow. In WA you can't even do a VBAC, or pretty much any birth that falls from the norm, at a birthcenter...









Come down to Oregon! Or have a midwife come up there... you can do anything here. We have lay midwives who aren't required to do all the medical stuff alongside the state licensed midwives who do a little more intervention or work with hospitals. We also have a few excellent birth centers. It's like a birthing wonderland!


----------



## cinnamonamon

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cellarstella* 
Come down to Oregon! Or have a midwife come up there... you can do anything here. We have lay midwives who aren't required to do all the medical stuff alongside the state licensed midwives who do a little more intervention or work with hospitals. We also have a few excellent birth centers. It's like a birthing wonderland!

Same here -- midwives & birthcenters aren't really regulated by the state, so anything goes. As a result, I am at a birthcenter where the (certified nurse) midwives describe themselves as homebirth midwives who own a birthcenter. They hand out copies of Mothering Magazine & Organic Red Raspberry Leaf tea at your intake appt. They're happy to not use the doppler or give the glucose test, and said that if your water breaks, there is no clock as long as no one does any exams (which they only do upon request) -- and even then it is very open to interpretation.







One of the midwives there actually assisted another midwife at my youngest sister's birth 15 years ago. Pretty nifty.


----------



## tinawoman

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AmyG* 
"No, I just spin in circles really fast before I feed them so that the cream rises to the top."











OMG!!! hysterical!!!


----------



## Daisie125

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cinnamonamon* 
Same here -- midwives & birthcenters aren't really regulated by the state, so anything goes. As a result, I am at a birthcenter where the (certified nurse) midwives describe themselves as homebirth midwives who own a birthcenter. They hand out copies of Mothering Magazine & Organic Red Raspberry Leaf tea at your intake appt. They're happy to not use the doppler or give the glucose test, and said that if your water breaks, there is no clock as long as no one does any exams (which they only do upon request) -- and even then it is very open to interpretation.







One of the midwives there actually assisted another midwife at my youngest sister's birth 15 years ago. Pretty nifty.











Same here, we are in the same state... I wonder if we have the same MW


----------



## moppity

Quote:


Originally Posted by *moppity* 
My DD is very affectionate, always has been. At mothers group she goes around and hugs and kisses all the other kids and is always running back to me for a hug and a kiss. Anyway, one of the other Mums there said to me one day "oh she's so affectionate, thats so cute, how did you teach her that?"

Um, hugging boot camp??

To clarify though, these mums are ALL 'flashcard', CIO etc kinda people.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *beanbean* 
I'm kind of confused -- are you implying that "flashcard, CIO type-people" don't have affectionate children? I'm missing the connection.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *alisaterry* 
I think she was saying that these are people who think there is some technique that is used to teach children affection, maybe some book or new video.

Sorry I know this was ages ago, just wanted to respond...had come home from playgroup and was cranky at all of them







Their kids aren't affectionate when I have seen them, have never seen any of them hug each other or their parents







: They all thought I had *taught* her somehow, books/video/lessons how to hug...


----------



## Ellp

My mom put out this "gem" today...
I'm currently 9 weeks preggy and had to have an ultrasound last week because I was spotting, and thought I'd have yet another M/C. Anyways, kiddo is fine, and on my US report they listed an estimated due date as Jun 13/07. As background, I previously had a C-section with Dd.

My mom has a look at the due date and tells me that I'll be having the baby sooner than that. I said "Oh? Why?", thinking that she meant 2nd babies are always early. Instead she said...

"Because C-sections are always done a week to 10 days before the baby is due."

My mouth dropped open, and I had no reply. There is just *SO* many things wrong with that comment I didn't know where to start...


----------



## OGirlieMama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ellp* 
"Because C-sections are always done a week to 10 days before the baby is due."

Well, to be fair to your mom, she's probably going by the experiences she's heard from other people. If, for example, a mom has to have a c-section due to some sort of disorder or problem with a previous birth that they know will recur (and I know "has to" is somewhat in the eye of the beholder) then they would generally schedule the section earlier so as to avoid the mom going into labor and ending up with an emergency section. So she's not entirely wrong, but definitely wrong in assuming you're going to do it that way!


----------



## ramlita

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
Small babies get stuck because gravity doesn't help as much.

It sounds to me like smaller babies have more room to wiggle around and end up in presentations that are not the best for emerging smoothly.

My 10 lb, 8 oz DD came out in absolutely the perfect presentation- there wasn't a bit of extra room for her to get sidetracked!









Also wanted to add:
In Vermont midwives can do home VBACs and bill Medicaid, no less!








(though so many Vt _hospitals_ are so small, they're not allowed to do planned VBACs







)


----------



## Marylizah

Ok, I'll share.

My MIL is a fount of wisdom. And she has a very major obsession with being cold.

So here are some words of wisdom, which I'm happy to share with y'all.

*Don't drink or eat cold foods, because they will make your breastmilk cold.

A correlary of this is that if your breastmilk is cold, your child's stomach will get cold, and if your child's stomach is cold, s/he will: burp, hiccup, vomit, have diarrheah and/or fart.

And to be clear, if your child *ever* does *any* of the above, it's because their stomach, or possibly their feet, are cold. So please always put about 5 layers of clothes on your child, and to be sure his/her tummy is warm, it's always a good idea to saftey-pin a receiving blanket around the waist area.

Oh, and a baby can get cold even if your home is kept at a nice, comfortable temperature. Cold is crafty like that.

Oh, and she thinks DS has had diarrheah his whole life because he has runny BF poop.

Oh, and she thinks I'm a neglectful mom since I put as many layers on my son as I do on myself. And when it's more than 65 degrees outside, I don't put a hat on him. I know, I'm asking for trouble.

Not that I'm bitter or anything, but she's been staying with us for almost 4 months and I think it's time for her to go home.


----------



## CryPixie83

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Marylizah* 

Not that I'm bitter or anything, but she's been staying with us for almost 4 months and I think it's time for her to go home.

Holy Mother of Earth, why?! I love my mil and I would have went psycho by 4 weeks... yikes!


----------



## jayayenay

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CryPixie83* 
Holy Mother of Earth, why?! I love my mil and I would have went psycho by 4 weeks... yikes!

Ha, 4 weeks? Lasting 4 days with no major incidents would be a GREAT visit!


----------



## janerose

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Marylizah* 
Ok, I'll share.

My MIL is a fount of wisdom. And she has a very major obsession with being cold.


You're not alone! My MIL also has the whole cold fetish going on. She just about drove me insane during the first few months of DD's life & I barely even saw the woman!

The IL's first visit (around 3 wks) was followed by a LONG e-mail from my MIL asking us to please dress DD better, she must be so cold, babies need layers, etc. Um...OK. DD was born the end of September. It was cool, but not cold yet by any means. Our house was kept at a comfortable 70 degrees. I just finally had to say







and blow her off...

Holly


----------



## an_aurora

MILs and cold fixations seem to be a trend...

A little background info, DD was born on the first of July in Phoenix. The day she was born, and for the entire week afterwards, it was 118 degrees. One day when she was 4-5 days old or so, my mom and I needed fresh air, so we were outside, sitting in the shade, throwing the ball for the dog, and we had DD in her diaper on a blanket in the grass. My MIL came over and flipped out saying "OMG you don't have socks on the baby! She is going to catch a cold! OMG!" Dude, it's 118 degrees outside.


----------



## Corvus

Quote:


Originally Posted by *an_aurora* 
My MIL came over and flipped out saying "OMG you don't have socks on the baby! She is going to catch a cold! OMG!" Dude, it's 118 degrees outside.

Not to mention the fact that BEING COLD does not cause a person to CATCH A COLD. The cold is a virus, and if you come into contact with a cold virus, you will likely develop a cold whether it's 18 degrees or 118 degrees outside.


----------



## Wolfcat

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corvus* 
Not to mention the fact that BEING COLD does not cause a person to CATCH A COLD. The cold is a virus, and if you come into contact with a cold virus, you will likely develop a cold whether it's 18 degrees or 118 degrees outside.

Well, there is evidence that being cold lessens the effectiveness of your immune system, but otherwise







:

My SIL called me in a panic when her DS was about 4 mo old. She said that the smoke detector had gone off and her DS didn't cry or jump or anything. She wanted to know if I thought she should take him to the doctor to see if he was deaf.









BTW, the kid coos and laughs constantly and turns at the sound of his name.


----------



## mollyeilis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cellarstella* 
Come down to Oregon! Or have a midwife come up there... you can do anything here. We have lay midwives who aren't required to do all the medical stuff alongside the state licensed midwives who do a little more intervention or work with hospitals. We also have a few excellent birth centers. It's like a birthing wonderland!

Yes, I personally know that. Now. I *was* , in '03, under the ridiculous assumption that WA was a birthing wonderland b/c of the school here. I found out the extremely hard way, with jerky "homebirth" midwives pulling out several rugs from under me, that it's not easy to Birth in WA...


----------



## cinnamonamon

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Daisie125* 
Same here, we are in the same state... I wonder if we have the same MW









Daisie -- mine is in Okemos.


----------



## corhorvath

From my SILs Mother:

I was told that it breaks this lady's heart to know I don't want to be a SAHM. I'm so nice and love my kids so much so she doesn't understand how I can't be a SAHM. As if I don't love my kids because I work.

Then, she went on to tell me that her daughter would have had boys over all summer if she wasn't home with her. And that her niece has 8 kids with 5 different dads because her mom didn't stay home with her.

I stopped her on that last one.


----------



## NewCrunchyDaddy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *corhorvath* 
And that her niece has 8 kids with 5 different dads because her mom didn't stay home with her.

That's like the idea that a boy will be gay if you breastfeed him too long.







: Now, I don't know about you, but to _my_ way of thinking, extended _breast_feeding would not lead to ...


----------



## Daisie125

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cinnamonamon* 
Daisie -- mine is in Okemos.









Nope, guess not, mine is in Temperance. It's nice to hear of other CNMs who practice this way... I've heard some not so great things about alot of them!


----------



## BelgianSheepDog

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Wolfcat* 
My SIL called me in a panic when her DS was about 4 mo old. She said that the smoke detector had gone off and her DS didn't cry or jump or anything. She wanted to know if I thought she should take him to the doctor to see if he was deaf.









BTW, the kid coos and laughs constantly and turns at the sound of his name.

Maybe I am stupid myself but I don't see what is stupid about her reaction. There are different kinds of hearing impairment and they can be hard to detect sometimes.


----------



## PatchPixie

Along with the standard "Let her cry - it strengthens her lungs" adage I heard way too many times during DD's infancy - my granny also told me about how she made my dad wear mittens and pinned them down to the bed to keep him from sucking his thumb as a little guy....he was FF and she didn't believe in pacis... my poor dad just wanted some comfort!


----------



## BelgianSheepDog

I think I forgot to drop in on this thread after the recent MIL visit!

She moved dh from a crib to a bed when he was a little under two. No rails or anything, just a regular twin bed. Down the hall and around the corner from his parents' room. Apparently he used to fall out a lot. She'd lay in bed and listen:

THUMP! "Wahhh!" Scurry scurry back into bed.

THUMP! "Waahhh!" Scurry scurry back into bed.

Then she heard:

THUMP! *dead silence*

She went to sleep. In the morning she found toddler DH curled up on the floor.

I wanted to cry when I heard this story, but she thought was hi-freakin-larious! correction, i wanted to cry and smack her.

Then dh's little brother didn't have a bed, because they didn't want *him* falling out. OK at least they eventually learned. He had a mattress on the floor. But at 18 months they'd find him curled up in the corner of his bedroom, sucking his thumb.








:

Going to cuddle my baby again now. These people depress me.


----------



## jayayenay

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BelgianSheepDog* 
THUMP! "Wahhh!" Scurry scurry back into bed.

THUMP! "Waahhh!" Scurry scurry back into bed.

Then she heard:

THUMP! *dead silence*

She went to sleep. In the morning she found toddler DH curled up on the floor.

Yikes! If I heard a thump and then silence, you bet your tushie I'd be running in there to make sure everything was okay!


----------



## angelpie545

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BelgianSheepDog* 
I think I forgot to drop in on this thread after the recent MIL visit!

She moved dh from a crib to a bed when he was a little under two. No rails or anything, just a regular twin bed. Down the hall and around the corner from his parents' room. Apparently he used to fall out a lot. She'd lay in bed and listen:

THUMP! "Wahhh!" Scurry scurry back into bed.

THUMP! "Waahhh!" Scurry scurry back into bed.

Then she heard:

THUMP! *dead silence*

She went to sleep. In the morning she found toddler DH curled up on the floor.

I wanted to cry when I heard this story, but she thought was hi-freakin-larious! correction, i wanted to cry and smack her.

Then dh's little brother didn't have a bed, because they didn't want *him* falling out. OK at least they eventually learned. He had a mattress on the floor. But at 18 months they'd find him curled up in the corner of his bedroom, sucking his thumb.








:

Going to cuddle my baby again now. These people depress me.

Wow! How sad.


----------



## AnnieMarie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BelgianSheepDog* 
I think I forgot to drop in on this thread after the recent MIL visit!

She moved dh from a crib to a bed when he was a little under two. No rails or anything, just a regular twin bed. Down the hall and around the corner from his parents' room. Apparently he used to fall out a lot. She'd lay in bed and listen:

THUMP! "Wahhh!" Scurry scurry back into bed.

THUMP! "Waahhh!" Scurry scurry back into bed.

Then she heard:

THUMP! *dead silence*

She went to sleep. In the morning she found toddler DH curled up on the floor.

I wanted to cry when I heard this story, but she thought was hi-freakin-larious! correction, i wanted to cry and smack her.

Then dh's little brother didn't have a bed, because they didn't want *him* falling out. OK at least they eventually learned. He had a mattress on the floor. But at 18 months they'd find him curled up in the corner of his bedroom, sucking his thumb.








:

Going to cuddle my baby again now. These people depress me.

That is just sooo sad







:

My MIL insisted that we needed to clean DS's mouth out with glycerine as the milk residue would give him sores in his mouth. She even told DH to buy some when he went to the shops when she saw that I was not going to do it. DH just pretended he forgot to buy it, but I think she knew he was saying that bec I didn't want that stuff in my sons mouth - h*ll he was les than a week old. By the time he was 2 mos old she was demamding to know why he was not on solids yet







: Lucky they stay 7hours drive from us and we don't see them too often...


----------



## NewCrunchyDaddy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AnnieMarie* 
That is just sooo sad







:

My MIL insisted that we needed to clean DS's mouth out with glycerine as the milk residue would give him sores in his mouth. She even told DH to buy some when he went to the shops when she saw that I was not going to do it. DH just pretended he forgot to buy it, but I think she knew he was saying that bec I didn't want that stuff in my sons mouth - h*ll he was les than a week old. By the time he was 2 mos old she was demamding to know why he was not on solids yet







: Lucky they stay 7hours drive from us and we don't see them too often...

So, does your MIL clean _her_ mouth out with glycerine after having a glass of milk? Do we need to treat baby cows with glycerine?














:


----------



## earthie_mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rwikene* 
Also, there is a show on TV called "Girls Behaving Badly" and they had a stunt they pulled on people in a cheese shop....they had men and women sample some "special cheese" after they got their reaction to the cheese, they told them it was made from breastmilk, and then showed a picture of some woman from a foriegn country....oh, you should have seen the people's faces when they heard this :LOL

After the people were completely grossed out and most of them spit out the cheese, they revealed that this was in fact cow's milk cheese.....some of the people actually got pissed off....

LMAO, It's interesting to me that these people aren't grossed out by eating the breastmilk of a cow, but htey are repulsed by the milk of their OWN SPECIES!!!!


----------



## AnnieMarie

That really gets me





















strange society we live in...

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NewCrunchyDaddy* 
So, does your MIL clean _her_ mouth out with glycerine after having a glass of milk? Do we need to treat baby cows with glycerine?














:









and guess what - he never did get any sores in his mouth!!!







and has even survived not being given solids till 6mos. This is the same woman who told my SIL that she should have had a c-section as her labour had been progressing too slowly... My SIL ended up with a forceps delivery.

I still can't get over the PP about the little boy falling out of the bed







, I just want to cry when I think of it.


----------



## minimoose

I MADE IT. Wow, I read them all!

Some gems from my MIL;

Let me say up front that at least she tried in the seventies, when breastfeeding wasn't "the thing to do", but;

She couldn't breastfeed, because she had supply issues. With her first she lost supply after 3 weeks (ok, possible, but not convincing) but with DH she lost supply after 3 days.







I always heard that it's very common to not even have your milk IN on day 3?
The "reason" for all this, is that she is above average in cupsize. Because if you have a larger cup, there's less gland-tissue in there, ya know? Ok....







:

She also, and I have not a single excuse for this one, let DH just scream for days. He was just "wanting attention", because when she picked him up he immediately stopped crying. YEAH, DUH! If a screaming baby gets picked up, he either gets the attention or comfort he/she needs, or thinks that whatever is wrong will be fixed now. She put his crib in the kitchen and shut the door so she wouldn't hear him scream.

Let's say I'm having "issues" imagining leaving a baby in her care...


----------



## thefragile7393

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minimoose* 
The "reason" for all this, is that she is above average in cupsize. Because if you have a larger cup, there's less gland-tissue in there, ya know? Ok....







:
Let's say I'm having "issues" imagining leaving a baby in her care...

Huh? Now see my mom is convinced of the opposite, that because she was small that she couldn't make enough milk for me! Granted she did bf me for 17 months, but she's told me that I was always hungry and she was too small to make enough milk!







: And yes....I'd have BIG TIME ISSUES leaving my child with your MIL too. I wonder how your dh made it through all that.....


----------



## VeezieTG

a friend of mine: i couldn't breastfeed cos my son was lactose intolerant for his first month, by then my milk dried up.
me: um... did your doctor ever suggest cutting dairy out of YOUR diet?
friend: no, cos she's not an idiot, idiot.

swear to god, real convo.

anoter funny story. i was watching my bff's son at the mall. our babies are close in age and both big boys. a woman sat next to me and said, "oh how cute, are they twins?" without really thinking (i had two squirming 9 month olds in my arms!) i said, "no. they're 3 weeks apart." that lady just sat there dumbfounded. when i saw her look, i finally went, "they're not both mine." then she said, "oohh." and walked away. moron!

one more (then bed for me):

since my son was born big (10 lbs.) and is still on the hight end of the curve i get "what a big boy" or equivelant, constantly. sometimes people say, "what does he eat?" when ds was about 4 months, i said, "oh, only mama milk so far." and the total stranger said, "well be careful with that. breastmilk makes kids fat." i couldn't help but point out, "actually its formula fed babies that have the higher instances of child obesity." he turned around as if i had offended his very integrity and said, "oh no... that stuff is made by doctors, and they would never make something fatty for babies. its that breastmilk. its pure fat!" and walked away, seemingly feeling rather superior!!

some people are so DUMB!!! unfortunately, having a baby seems to be a great way for them to come stumbling into my life.







:


----------



## katyannehansen

My mother in law still tells me that when I swaddle my Alex (who is 4 1/2 mos and still cries when anyone but I watch her) to calm her down, that she doesn't like it and feels claustrophobic! She tells me this as Alex instantly falls asleep LOL! That, and when she watches her for us, she basically refuses to try the techniques that work every time to calm her down - hair dryer, swaddling, putting her down because she is over stimulated, etc. she tells me all the time how abnormal she is because she doesn't like to be held ALL THE TIME and that we should seek help! She MAYBE cries 10-15 minutes per day in my care, and that is on days I am not reacting fast enough, but when grandma watches her, she cries 3 hours at a time, not stopping because she is comfortable, but because she is completely exhausted! This same woman told me, because Alex was kind of colicky, (not diagnosed as she didn't make the 3 rule) told me she was crying because she didn't LIKE my breastmilk and that she wanted formula! It seems this woman thinks she is a baby whisperer --any time we have been in a pinch and were forced to use formula alone, she generally gave us a disgusted look, like you aren't really gonna make me drink that crap, are you!?


----------



## pooh-tiggermom

Well I havent read ALLLLL the posts from the begining







A few that I got personally: I had just taken my 1st (4 mos old) in for vaxes (before I knew enough to say NO). He was crying, & I wanted to wait for friends who happened to be there at the same time. So I sat down in the waiting room & tried hard to be discreet at lifting my shirt for him. A lady who was sitting kind of across from me said "There are PLACES for that!!" & stood up & walked off with her 7ish yo??? I said "Where should I feed him, in the bathroom??" She said "YES!" UGGHHHH I was a new mommy then & felt embarrassed anyways.

Then from my Aunt.....we homeschool & one night she was asking me some questions. So I was responding. After a little while of "chatting" she said "Well it sounds controlling to me" & stood up & walked off. I was like







Ummmmm isnt putting your child in public, magnet or private schools controlling their education too???

Then a lady I met a few yrs ago said that her MIL told her that breastfeeding is for poor ppl!


----------



## medeanj

It's a twin thing, but I had to add:

My DH was in town about a year ago with my 1 yo b/g twins. One wore blue the other frilly purple (pretty obvious she was a girl). One lady came up asking if they were twins. DH replied, 'yes.' She then asked, 'are they identical?'

Frustrated he said, 'Yeah, until you take their diapers off!'


----------



## NewCrunchyDaddy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *medeanj* 
It's a twin thing, but I had to add:

My DH was in town about a year ago with my 1 yo b/g twins. One wore blue the other frilly purple (pretty obvious she was a girl). One lady came up asking if they were twins. DH replied, 'yes.' She then asked, 'are they identical?'

Frustrated he said, 'Yeah, until you take their diapers off!'









:







:







:







:







:







:







:







:







:







:


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## TattooedMommy

Oh the things I've heard from my husband's family since we started having children. From his aunt when we went to tell her about this pregnancy:

"Oh, I thought you were just getting fat!"

I'm still rather angry about that one and it was 8 months ago.

And then from my MIL during my baby shower last month:

"Have you been roughing up your nipples with a wash cloth?"

I think me and my best friend about died. Not only that, but she asked me this when I was pregnant with my son last year. Um, the answer was no then and it's still no now!


----------



## mayamama

A well-meaning but HIGHLY misinformed woman told me not to bend over after my 25th week of pregnancy because the cord would wrap around the baby's neck.







: Um....okay...so what did women do for millions of years when they were in the fields or whatever?


----------



## minkajane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TattooedMommy* 
And then from my MIL during my baby shower last month:

"Have you been roughing up your nipples with a wash cloth?"

My MIL told my SIL she had to do this when she was pregnant with her first. I guess she did it with her two (one of whom she nursed till almost 5!). I told SIL she didn't have to, so she didn't bother.

Unfortunately, she DID believe MIL who told her that since her son's dad is circ'd, her son absolutely had to be (SIL wanted to circ anyway, for aesthetic reasons







: ), despite the fact that the dad's not in the picture anyway. MIL believed that boys would be horribly traumatized if they had foreskins and Daddy didn't during potty training. She was horrified when she found out DS was intact!


----------



## lillake

Oh I got a new one tonight.

I admit, I'm a bit of a potty mouth. Which of course means my son picks up and repeats.







So tonight at my inlaws he slipped and said the D word. No biggie, i corrected with "you mean uh-oh right?" and thing were fine. Later my MIL took me asside and let me know that I need to buy some hot sauce and use it on his tongue every time he uses a curse word. Right, because he totally understands what he's saying and is just saying it to be offensive.


----------



## ~pi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *VeezieTG* 
a friend of mine: i couldn't breastfeed cos my son was lactose intolerant for his first month, by then my milk dried up.
me: um... did your doctor ever suggest cutting dairy out of YOUR diet?
friend: no, cos she's not an idiot, idiot.

swear to god, real convo.

I don't think your friend was very nice to call you an idiot and in general, you are correct that she should have kept breastfeeding, but you were incorrect in suggesting elimination of dairy. Lactose intolerance is different from issues with cow's milk proteins and breastmilk contain lactose whether the mother consumes dairy or not.

A few quotes from a quick google search:

Quote:

Human breast milk contains around seven per cent lactose. The amount of lactose in breast milk is not affected by the mother's diet. This means the mother can't influence the amount of lactose in her milk by reducing or eliminating dairy foods. source

Quote:

Lactose is the sugar in milk. It is the same for any kind of milk--breast, cow, goat, or sheep. [...] Infants from all parts of the world do tolerate lactose--otherwise they couldn't digest breast milk well. Their bodies make an enzyme, lactase, which enables them to digest the sugar in milk. As a result, in healthy full-term infants lactose intolerance is extremely rare. It is more common in premature babies, who are sometimes lactose intolerant until they begin to approach their original due dates. At that point, their bodies start making lactase. source

Quote:

There are some common fallacies about lactose intolerance that you may hear in the community:

1. Lactose in the breastmilk will be reduced if the mother stops eating dairy products.
2. Lactose intolerance in other family members (adults) means baby is more likely to be lactose intolerant.
3. If a mother is lactose intolerant then her baby will be as well.
4. A baby with symptoms of lactose intolerance should immediately be taken off the breast and fed on soy-based infant formula, or other special lactose-free formula.
5. Lactose intolerance is the same as intolerance or allergy to cows' milk protein.

Read on to see what is wrong with these ideas! source


----------



## WNB

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~pi* 
I don't think your friend was very nice to call you an idiot and in general, you are correct that she should have kept breastfeeding, but you were incorrect in suggesting elimination of dairy. Lactose intolerance is different from issues with cow's milk proteins and breastmilk contain lactose whether the mother consumes dairy or not.

Is it possible to diagnose lactose intolerance at <1 month of age without even having the mother try an elimination diet?


----------



## ~pi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WNB* 
Is it possible to diagnose lactose intolerance at <1 month of age without even having the mother try an elimination diet?

I don't know if it's possible to accurately diagnose it at that age, but the point is there is nothing an elimination diet would do to eliminate the lactose in breastmilk. *Breastmilk contains lactose whether the mother consume dairy or not.*


----------



## alegna

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~pi* 
I don't know if it's possible to accurately diagnose it at that age, but the point is there is nothing an elimination diet would do to eliminate the lactose in breastmilk. *Breastmilk contains lactose whether the mother consume dairy or not.*

Lactose intolerance doesn't exist in infants unless they have galactosemia- a very rare condition.

-Angela


----------



## ~pi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alegna* 
Lactose intolerance doesn't exist in infants unless they have galactosemia- a very rare condition.

-Angela

Please point me to where I claimed this was an alarmingly common situation. Galactosemia is rare, yes, but it happens, and it isn't exactly the same thing as lactose intolerance. And, as mentioned in the quotes I posted, lactose intolerance exists in preemies who aren't making lactase (enzyme for digesting lactose) yet. They grow out of it as they approach their original due dates.

Once again, *I'm not saying the mama was right to stop bfing*. However, if her baby was in fact lactose intolerant, the suggestion that she eliminate dairy would have been useless because (again) *breastmilk contains lactose whether the mother consumes dairy or not.*

From kellymom:

Quote:

Congenital lactose intolerance and similar congenital disorders

* Congenital lactose intolerance is very rare and is an inherited metabolic disorder rather than an allergy. This disorder is generally apparent within a few days after birth and is characterized by severe diarrhea, vomiting, dehydration and failure to thrive. It resolves after the age of six months.
* A similar, less severe, metabolic disorder is congenital lactase deficiency. This disorder, apparent within 10 days of birth, occurs when brush-border lactase activity (required for the digestion of lactose) in the small intestine is low or absent at birth and is characterized by diarrhea and malabsorption. It is also very rare.
* Galactosemia is another rare metabolic disorder that occurs when the liver enzyme GALT, needed to break down galactose, is partially or completely absent. Although this disorder does not directly concern lactose, babies with the more severe forms of galactosemia will not be able to tolerate any lactose since lactose is formed from the two sugars galactose and glucose. The classical form of galactosemia is characterized by vomiting, diarrhea, jaundice and failure to thrive within a few days after birth.
* Some premature babies have a temporary form of lactose intolerance because their bodies are not yet producing lactase. This will go away as baby matures, and in fact the maturation process can be accelerated by baby's ingestion of lactose.

http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns...tolerance.html


----------



## damselfly41

My mother told me I should "think about giving her a spanking" when dd was going thru a hitting phase! I said "No, thanks, I'm trying to un-do a legacy here!" Not a great comeback, but I was a little shocked given the fact I have told her that spanking is not an option for us for any reason.

She also told me we "had" to get ds circ'd in order to "keep him clean". I said "well, we don't do genital mutilation". Again, not a great comeback, but I get so shocked to hear things like that from my own parents.


----------



## earthie_mama

Yeah, when I was painting my birthroom my DS who was 16 mos at the time picked up a paintbrush and proceeded to paint my sheets and curtins and wood work! When I told my mom she said "I'll bet he got a good spanking"
"A good spanking? Mom, spanking is never good
"Well then how else will he learn"







:
"I will teach him, without subjecting him to violence. How do you learn new things?"

How did I ever turn out so good? lol


----------



## stanswife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *damselfly41* 
My mother told me I should "think about giving her a spanking" when dd was going thru a hitting phase! I said "No, thanks, I'm trying to un-do a legacy here!" Not a great comeback, but I was a little shocked given the fact I have told her that spanking is not an option for us for any reason.

She also told me we "had" to get ds circ'd in order to "keep him clean". I said "well, we don't do genital mutilation". Again, not a great comeback, but I get so shocked to hear things like that from my own parents.









Actually, I think both of those are great!


----------



## Shenjall

Who else HATES it when people other than your spouse/partner say "we" regarding parenting stuff? As in:
Me: Dh and I are thinking of getting a dog
Sis: Why? *We*'ll have to talk about whether its a good idea or not.

Or:

Mom: *We* have to figure out a way for the kids to stop drawing on the walls.
Me: Um, they're MY kids and MY walls and MY dh and I are fine with it.

And when drs do it? Arrgh.


----------



## jayayenay

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~pi* 
Please point me to where I claimed this was an alarmingly common situation. Galactosemia is rare, yes, but it happens, and it isn't exactly the same thing as lactose intolerance. And, as mentioned in the quotes I posted, lactose intolerance exists in preemies who aren't making lactase (enzyme for digesting lactose) yet. They grow out of it as they approach their original due dates.

Once again, *I'm not saying the mama was right to stop bfing*. However, if her baby was in fact lactose intolerant, the suggestion that she eliminate dairy would have been useless because (again) *breastmilk contains lactose whether the mother consumes dairy or not.*

Yep, you're right. I think some of the pp were just questioning the diagnosis of "lactose intolerance" to begin with. It's being used as a catch-all phrase for any and all problems with babies and breastmilk, and is not always an accurate description of the true problem.

http://breastfeed.com/resources/arti...ntolerance.htm


----------



## Kittymom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *melixxa* 
I live in a pretty progressive area, where it's business as usual to see slings of every shape and size and meet people who homebirth and EBF, so dumb comments are essentially few and far between. But there's one thing I've gotten several times nevertheless. It's whenever my boy is wearing white or pretty pale colors, and it's happened more since I started using my pink-orange-blue-red-green-fuschia-turquoise-yellow striped Maya wrap (the fuschia's pretty dominant in there) more often: People will refer to him as "she," and once I correct them they will say, "Oh, I'm SO sorry!" as if mistaking him for a girl (at 10 months no less) were extremely offensive. I think it's weird because 1) it's a mistake anyone can make; we all make these mistakes on a daily basis - it's not like babies were born with "I'm a boy" branded on their foreheads, and 2) why should it be so offensive to be mistaken for a girl, as if that were a terrible insult to my baby's manhood?? I wonder if it's the same in the other direction - do people overapologize when they've mistaken a girl for a boy? Anyway, I think this is weird. Not the apology, of course, but the vehemence of it. It's funny how uncomfortable people become as a result of (even the least controversial) gender stuff.

Yeah, I even got those vehement apologies when my 2.75 year old ds with hair halfway down his back was wearing his fairy dress for Halloween. I just smile and say, "Oh, you didn't stand a chance at guessing correctly. Don't worry about it."

In general, I often don't bother to correct the many people who think he's a girl. Sometimes, I do say, "Actually, he's a boy," but often I just keep refering to him with the masculine pronoun and if they keep insisting on using the feminine, I'm just amused.

- Kittymom


----------



## janerose

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shenjall* 
Who else HATES it when people other than your spouse/partner say "we" regarding parenting stuff? As in:
Me: Dh and I are thinking of getting a dog
Sis: Why? *We*'ll have to talk about whether its a good idea or not.

Or:

Mom: *We* have to figure out a way for the kids to stop drawing on the walls.
Me: Um, they're MY kids and MY walls and MY dh and I are fine with it.

And when drs do it? Arrgh.


Oh, the Doctors comment above reminded me of my 30 wk visit to the midwife yesterday. I finally got around to giving her a copy of my birth plan. She's reading it through and got to the part about us waiving the vitamin K shot & that we would be bringing our own homeopathic vitamin K to give orally (purchased through www.birthwithlove.com if anyone is interested!).

So she reads that part and goes, "Did you check with your pediatrician about the oral vitamin K? He may not be OK with that..." Ummm...alright....so waiving isn't an issue, but doing the stuff orally (as opposed to not at all) is????







Either she gets the stuff orally or not at all.

Also, what in the world makes you think I give a flying flip what the doctor's opinion is?

Holly


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lillake* 
Oh I got a new one tonight.

I admit, I'm a bit of a potty mouth. Which of course means my son picks up and repeats.







So tonight at my inlaws he slipped and said the D word. No biggie, i corrected with "you mean uh-oh right?" and thing were fine. Later my MIL took me asside and let me know that I need to buy some hot sauce and use it on his tongue every time he uses a curse word. Right, because he totally understands what he's saying and is just saying it to be offensive.










Well, at least she had the decency to take you aside to tell you that instead of saying it in front of your ds. Did you have to train her that way?


----------



## jaxinsmom

My dh, ds and I go to visit my dad and step mother, ds is 16 months and a super active, happy boy.
They have 'baby-proofed' and ds still manages to find things to touch. This was the exchange:

ds: touching the tape deck from the 80's that they DON'T EVEN USE ANYMORE
StepMother: *oh, no, don't touch that*
ds: climbing on sofa
SM: *whatcha doin?? no, no, don't do that*
ds: laughing, running to the kitchen
SM: *oh, no, where are you going...no don't do that...no don't go in there*
Me:







:







:







:

I put ds down for a nap.

SM:*I know you probably don't like me saying 'no' all the time, but I really don't want Jackson touching my stuff.
Me:*Hey, I have no problem with you saying no, it's your house and your stuff. But when ds is older and gets to decide which grandparent to visit you can bet he won't be pickin the "NO" house!

Things changed after that


----------



## jayayenay

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jaxinsmom* 
SM:*I know you probably don't like me saying 'no' all the time, but I really don't want Jackson touching my stuff.
Me:*Hey, I have no problem with you saying no, it's your house and your stuff. But when ds is older and gets to decide which grandparent to visit you can bet he won't be pickin the "NO" house!









Love it!


----------



## beanbean

Quote:


Originally Posted by *VeezieTG* 
anoter funny story. i was watching my bff's son at the mall. our babies are close in age and both big boys. a woman sat next to me and said, "oh how cute, are they twins?" without really thinking (i had two squirming 9 month olds in my arms!) i said, "no. they're 3 weeks apart." that lady just sat there dumbfounded. when i saw her look, i finally went, "they're not both mine." then she said, "oohh." and walked away. moron!

To the woman's credit, I believe that there was a case (cases?) where one twin was removed via c-section and the other was left in the womb.


----------



## Jay'smom

Ds does not sleep. It's just a fact of life. He gets up several times at night. All I do I give him the pacifier, rub his head and say, "Night night, baby, mama loves you." The whole process takes about 45 seconds. If you catch him as soon as he wakes up, it's no problem and he goes right back to sleep. If for some reason he gets the chance to really wake up (if I'm in the bathroom or whatever-has only happened a couple of times) it takes a lot longer to get back to sleep as I have to re-do the whole nighttime routine. I'm a really light sleeper and am up at the first peep.

That being said, my mother told me I am going to HAVE to start letting him CIO so that *I* can sleep. OK, if he sneezes from 2 rooms away I wake up, but I'm going to sleep through him crying????







:

Plus, MIL is visiting this week. We went out to eat. DS is 9 months old. No, he does not need fried chicken. No, he may not have steak (that would be great with his 2 teeth







: ) And, NO HE CAN NOT HAVE BUTTER!!!!!!! Of course, I have no idea what's healthy for a baby to eat. I only make my living as a nutrition educator.


----------



## Wolfcat

Quote:


Originally Posted by *beanbean* 
To the woman's credit, I believe that there was a case (cases?) where one twin was removed via c-section and the other was left in the womb.

Yeah, it happens a lot when there is one twin with a serious congenital problem and the other is perfectly healthy. Though, I believe that it is actually becoming more and more common to do in utero sergeries.


----------



## Kittymom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jennifer3141* 
Robin,
I had multiple miscarriages before Pauline's arrival. Enough that I was pretty sure I'd never carry a child and completely freaked out about the whole process. I spent the first trimester with this sinking feeling of dread.

So anyway, I got a positive pregnancy test and started getting lab work, U/S, etc. done before I had an official prenatal appointment.

When I finally did get my first real appointment, the nurse said to me, "Did we give you your prenatal pack?" I said that they hadn't (And I wanted that thing BAD! It meant I had a pregnancy progress far enough along!!). And the nurse looked down at my chart and replies, "Well, no one thought you'd carry it for long." Jen









I just don't have words. How...what... uh. I lost 3 little ones before my ds was born. I don't think I really believed he would be okay until after he was in my arms. I just don't know what I would have done if someone had said something like that to me. Probably just burst into tears.

I'm so glad your dh stood up for you.


----------



## dnr3301

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~pi* 
Please point me to where I claimed this was an alarmingly common situation. Galactosemia is rare, yes, but it happens, and it isn't exactly the same thing as lactose intolerance. And, as mentioned in the quotes I posted, lactose intolerance exists in preemies who aren't making lactase (enzyme for digesting lactose) yet. They grow out of it as they approach their original due dates.

Once again, *I'm not saying the mama was right to stop bfing*. However, if her baby was in fact lactose intolerant, the suggestion that she eliminate dairy would have been useless because (again) *breastmilk contains lactose whether the mother consumes dairy or not.*


I don't think alegna was saying you said that, I think she was commenting on the same point as you were: babies don't generally have lactose intolerance, so that was probably not really the source of the problem. Babies can, however, have an allergy/sensitivity to the protein in cow's milk which can affect mom's breast milk and eliminating dairy from a diet would, in that case, be helpful. Lactose intolerance and a protein allergy are often confused, and interchanged when they really shouldn't be. If you tell people you have an issue with dairy, they assume it's the lactose, because that's what gets in the press.


----------



## ~pi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dnr3301* 
I don't think alegna was saying you said that, I think she was commenting on the same point as you were: babies don't generally have lactose intolerance, so that was probably not really the source of the problem. Babies can, however, have an allergy/sensitivity to the protein in cow's milk which can affect mom's breast milk and eliminating dairy from a diet would, in that case, be helpful. Lactose intolerance and a protein allergy are often confused, and interchanged when they really shouldn't be. If you tell people you have an issue with dairy, they assume it's the lactose, because that's what gets in the press.

I'm aware of the difference between the two. I was simply responding the the pp, who did, in fact, cite lactose intolerance, not cow's milk protein sensitivity/allergy, so that's the premise with which I was working.


----------



## WNB

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jayayenay* 
Yep, you're right. I think some of the pp were just questioning the diagnosis of "lactose intolerance" to begin with. It's being used as a catch-all phrase for any and all problems with babies and breastmilk, and is not always an accurate description of the true problem.

http://breastfeed.com/resources/arti...ntolerance.htm

thank you, that's what I was thinking (but failed to write). ~pi's links are very clear (and informative) about what to do in the event of true lactose intolerance.

anyway, carry on with the entertaining stupid-statements-about-parenting







It's ALSO informative (though in a different way)!


----------



## guestmama9911

Quote:


Originally Posted by *damselfly41* 
My mother told me I should "think about giving her a spanking" when dd was going thru a hitting phase! I said "No, thanks, I'm trying to un-do a legacy here!" Not a great comeback, but I was a little shocked given the fact I have told her that spanking is not an option for us for any reason.


Actually, that sounds like the perfect comeback!


----------



## VeezieTG

about my friend and lactose intolerant baby:

no, her baby wasn't lactose intolerant, he's perfectly healthy.she said that because he was having digestion problems in general, which at this point, i think she was just too lazy to bf. but usually when a baby is having any kind of digestion problems, you'd start eliminating foods from your own diet first right? thats all i was suggesting to her.

as for her calling me an idiot, thats just her little hateful punk rock way! lol... still love her, anyway... (i thought it was ironic that she was calling me an idiot, when it was her idiotic statement.)


----------



## chkpea

I have been wanting to write this down for a long time to get it off my chest so here is the perfect place.

My baby was born almost a year ago - at 32 weeks. I had a really hard time coping with having a premature baby in the nicu...if anyone has ever been in this situation you will know what I mean. A really mean nurse who had no empathy for my situation told me that I need to go to the Discharge clinic so that I could go home...I told her that I couldn't do this - be with other moms who are holding there babies. She gave me some flack about this and then said well you should be watching the breastfeeding videos on your tv, I told her that I nursed my other son and was fine with that. I also told her that I wasn't going to watch videos of healthy term babies breastfeeding, while I wasn't breastfeeding my baby yet!

On my way out, I had to turn something in at the nurses desk...she was working...she says to me "are you happy now that you are going home without your baby?"...I was speechless, had no comeback, one of the nurses heard her and said, I wouldn't think that she would be...I left. I would love to walk up to her someday and say something....I will let it go, all I can think about is how she treated me, she probably treats all moms that way...it is unbelieveable! Thanks for letting me get that off my chest!


----------



## earthie_mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chkpea* 
I have been wanting to write this down for a long time to get it off my chest so here is the perfect place.

My baby was born almost a year ago - at 32 weeks. I had a really hard time coping with having a premature baby in the nicu...if anyone has ever been in this situation you will know what I mean. A really mean nurse who had no empathy for my situation told me that I need to go to the Discharge clinic so that I could go home...I told her that I couldn't do this - be with other moms who are holding there babies. She gave me some flack about this and then said well you should be watching the breastfeeding videos on your tv, I told her that I nursed my other son and was fine with that. I also told her that I wasn't going to watch videos of healthy term babies breastfeeding, while I wasn't breastfeeding my baby yet!

On my way out, I had to turn something in at the nurses desk...she was working...she says to me "are you happy now that you are going home without your baby?"...I was speechless, had no comeback, one of the nurses heard her and said, I wouldn't think that she would be...I left. I would love to walk up to her someday and say something....I will let it go, all I can think about is how she treated me, she probably treats all moms that way...it is unbelieveable! Thanks for letting me get that off my chest!


You have got to be f*^%$#$ kidding me?!?!? That is bulls^&% I am in shock.....and


----------



## mollyeilis

Oh, chkpea...I'm so sorry.









Someday I think I'll ask for NICU stories like that to compile and send to my NICU-nurse stepmother. She REFUSES to believe that she could ever treat someone poorly, and refuses to believe that there are any NICU nurses (or any nurses) could could be awful to patients. She's got such blinders on...


----------



## elmh23

chkpea! That was not a nice person.

Unfortunatly, your story reminded me of one my mom had from my birth. My mom had a long labor (49hrs, 53min) and was exhausted after I was born. I was formula fed so I went off to the nursery. Mom fell asleep. When she woke up, she had a roommate. When they brought me in, roommate started crying. Turns out, roommate had a stillborn. The nurses did NOTHING for this woman (who my mom thinks was single because no one came to visit.) My mom ended up walking the halls with me so the roommate wouldn't have to watch everything she was missing.


----------



## Birth Junky

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jay'smom* 
MIL is visiting this week. We went out to eat. DS is 9 months old. No, he does not need fried chicken. No, he may not have steak (that would be great with his 2 teeth







: ) And, NO HE CAN NOT HAVE BUTTER!!!!!!!









: MIL and FIL came over tonight and brought pizza . . . when we sat down to eat MIL looked sadly at 8.5-month-old DD playing at her feet and said "I guess there's really nothing here we can give her . . ." I said "NO, she cannot have pizza. It will be a long time before she is eating off of your plate, but she will eventually be eating 'grown-up' food and you will have the rest of her life to watch her eat."







Probably should've kept it to a simple "no", but MIL has been bugging me about solids for months now.


----------



## Wittyone

Quote:


Originally Posted by *elmh23* 
Turns out, roommate had a stillborn. The nurses did NOTHING for this woman (who my mom thinks was single because no one came to visit.) My mom ended up walking the halls with me so the roommate wouldn't have to watch everything she was missing.

That poor woman







What a considerate thing for your mom to do!


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## Shenjall

I understand the lack of space at times in hospitals, but they _really_ need to separate some moms. When ds was born 10 weeks early, I was sharing a room with a woman and her healthy ft baby. I would listen as she nursed her baby while I pumped. I listened while she cooed, and I quietly cried. I was able to stay "checked" in as long as my baby was in nicu, but I checked out after 1 day. I just couldnt deal with it...


----------



## Ivan's Mom

I know it has been a while since voting day, but this is what happened...I went to vote and had Ivan with me. I was signing in and the poll volunteer took a look at me and took a look at Ivan and said to me, "so are you pregnant again or are you just HEAVY?!!!!!







I looked at her with a disgusted face and said, "No, this is just my shape." She then went further to say, "Well, you are just so *big around the middle* it is hard to tell." People are unbelievable!


----------



## turnipmama

I have now heard this TWICE! Once from my sister and once from my BIL...

"C-section is the safest and easiest way to have a baby. It is least traumatic to both the mom and the baby!" WHAT?!!!! So I guess the natural God-given way to give birth really HASN'T been working for eons?







:

My mother also thinks that doing natural childbirth means that the child will come out deformed or "damaged" (I was a c-section)







:


----------



## IloveMayaBlue

my sister told me babies are manipulative (referring more specifically to my several week old newborn who had the nerve to be hungry more than every 3 hours)


----------



## 4stgal

Quote:


Originally Posted by *turnipmama* 
I have now heard this TWICE! Once from my sister and once from my BIL...

"C-section is the safest and easiest way to have a baby. It is least traumatic to both the mom and the baby!" WHAT?!!!! So I guess the natural God-given way to give birth really HASN'T been working for eons?







:

My mother also thinks that doing natural childbirth means that the child will come out deformed or "damaged" (I was a c-section)







:

Yeah, csections are great. My incision got infected and I ended up back in the hospital while my dh had to stay home with my 1 wk old baby. It was wonderful...except that i cried the entire time i was there.







:


----------



## Shenjall

Quote:


Originally Posted by *IloveMayaBlue* 
my sister told me babies are manipulative (referring more specifically to my several week old newborn who had the nerve to be hungry more than every 3 hours)


Hate, hate that one. Those evil babies....







:


----------



## jakobsmom

i have been nursing for 4.5 years, and most of those years i have had two nurslings - people are always commenting on me being small and having small breasts. they feel compelled to tell me that it doesn't "look" like i would have enough milk!


----------



## RadiantMama

Well, my breasts are so BIG my own MOTHER said "You're going to smother her!!!" hahahahaha! The only time I've known that happening was actually a mother with tiny breasts.


----------



## majorsky

My grandmother has said some doozies about parenting! Actually, she's never met my DD, her great-grandchild, because we live almost 2,000 miles away. After my grandmother sees my DD and me together, I'm sure she'll have some winning comments! Grandma's an endless font of comments about breastfeeding, weaning, nutrition, and parenting.

Anyway, I asked my mother if she was breastfed and she said only for the first couple of months of life. Her mother (the aforementioned grandmother) started my mother on formula right after that because her "breastmilk was too rich" for my mother. I asked my mom what the heck that meant. My mom said Grandma claimed her breastmilk gave my mom diarrhea, but we both knew immediately that Grandma witnessed normal breastfed poop and thought it was diarrhea.







OK. So at that time the "fashionable" thing to do was to MAKE your own baby formula. I asked my mom what the formula was made from. I couldn't imagine a mom in the 1950s making a baby formula that had any real nutritional value for a young baby, and I was right. The popular thing to do was to use Pet condensed milk,







and I suppose add some vitamins to it. I honestly can't believe my mother survived childhood. Of course, she was malnourished until she left home for college. Hmmm. Now I understand why.

There's a mom in my playgroup who was really interested in cloth diapering after she saw how much I like it for my DD and she realized how much money she could save by not buying all those disposable diapers. I told her about cloth, showed her our stash, and explained how I sew a lot of our diapers. She went home and told her husband all about it, and he happens to be the decision-maker on anything relating to their DS. The next time I saw the mom, she told me, "My husband doesn't want us to do cloth diapers because we'd have to change the baby's diaper every two to three hours."







I just smiled and said OK, but all I could think was, "How long do you wait to change your baby's diaper anyway????" Poor kid.

Kristin


----------



## Kimono

I was trying to convince someone to use cloth diapers and she didn't think it would save them money. They bought generic disposables, and she said, only used 2 every 24 hours! Unless there was a poop...







:


----------



## Isaacs_mom

oh my that is awful !!
2x a day







poor baby


----------



## bandgeek

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kate's Mommy* 
I was trying to convince someone to use cloth diapers and she didn't think it would save them money. They bought generic disposables, and she said, only used 2 every 24 hours! Unless there was a poop...







:











The worst I ever heard was 4 a day from someone on a mainstream bb that I don't go to anymore. She said unless he pooped, she only used 4 a day. She knew he was sitting in a peed-in diaper for several hours before it was full enough to change, but she didn't care. Said they couldn't afford more. This is when our babies were just a few months old too, not like toddlers who only pee 4 or 5 times a day. I flat out told her it was disrespectful and she had other options to save money (like cloth) that didn't involve letting her kid soak in his own urine 24/7, but she said it worked for her previous 3 kids so it wasn't a problem.







:

2 a day is unbelievable.


----------



## Colleen2

This is really upsetting,
My sister's boy is 10 and going thru puberty. She tells me rather loudly that she is planning on sending him away to live with his father because he is so 'misbehaved.' (she is re-married) <My nephew was in the room next to us.
I said lovingly but strongly, but he is your boy....
And she tries to provide evidence to me of why she wants to send him to the abuse ass off an ex (who she has spent years outlining all of the bad things and bad bad bad inapprpriate parenting he does)
She explains that he 'makes' her youngest boy cry all the time and that the youngest is becoming maimed emotionally by it....and that she can't stand his 'lipping' off....

I repeatedly the 'he is your son..' I was at total loss for words....
I can't get how she can't see how negatively talking like this affects him, when he can obviously overhear...


----------



## elmh23

Colleen


----------



## minkajane




----------



## kater07

Last week, I mentioned to someone that I didn't have any gifts under our tree yet b/c I am afraid that my 22m old would open them all. I was told "it's never too early to spank a kid, so spank her when she gets near the tree and she'll not want to open them."

Uhhh, yeah, right. Then maybe she'll be so scared of the tree and presents that she'll not want to open them even when it's time. Besides, I've curbed her need to play with the ornaments, and it seems that easing the gifts under the tree a few at a time has stopped her from wanting to open them.


----------



## melikahiwa

I've heard only nurse on one breast so you get your figure back
your milk isn't enough, you have to give formula
your baby is starving, you must take him to the doctor and put him on formula
let your baby suck on a chicken bone for teething
you need to give your children juice to make them chubby (Juice being tang and my daughter only being 2 months)
though i support you breastfeeding you shouldn't do it in front of other people's children. They might not want them raised that way.
give her a bottle, stick her in a crib and let her cry. you need to get your housework done. (she is only 4 months now)
Its ok, I gave it to him (i don't give my son candies/sweets at all and someone had given him candy)


----------



## ThreeBeans

At our wbv a few weeks ago, I was describing to the nurse how attached DD is and how she won't let me out of her site, how she just cries and cries. I was NOT asking for advice, merely making conversations while the nurse weighed her and measured her. She said, "You should leave her with Daddy sometime."

I responded, "Oh, I do, but she doesn't take a bottle and if I'm gone too long she'd cry for literally hours..."

And she said, "Well, you HAVE to do it!"








:

I said, very pleasantly, "No, I don't."

And she actually interrupted me to say firmly, "YES! You HAVE to!"

Whereupon I said even MORE firmly, "NO! I DON'T!"

She kinda HUMPHED and stopped talking.

Man, I was irritated


----------



## WinterBaby

Quote:


Originally Posted by *melikahiwa* 
I've heard only nurse on one breast so you get your figure back









LOL! I'm trying to imagine the lopsided figure of this speaker! If I only nursed on one breast I'd have one breast one or more cup sized larger than the other - not exactly the figure I'm looking for


----------



## Jessie'sMom

nak.....

LOVE THIS THREAD

had a nurse tell me not to bf dd more than every two hours b/c it would make me too sore....







:

at thanksgiving dinner this year my aunt told me i HAD to put dd in her own room, buy a crib and let her CIO. this was after i told her we co-sleep. when i told her no that wouldn't happen she recommended some book, 'and since it's written in a book, it must be true'.....







: .........she was telling how her last dc she let him CIO even though her other two would beg her to go get him and ask her why she would do that to him......























MIL constantly asks if i'm afraid I'll roll over on dd at night....i really love her, but next time I'm going to ask her if she's afraid of falling off her bed at night....

also wish those that chose not to bf would just admit it....they're barking up the wrong tree here....pumped for 6wks and worked w/ LC until dd could latch on...also bouts with mastitis.


----------



## karlugato

after my son was born we named him Douglass. My mil told my husband later that she had been praying every day that we wouldn't name him Ian.. what a silly thing to pray about.

When she was over at our house when Douglass was only a few days old she demanded of my husband to get him circumcised.. why didnt they do it at the hospital, blah blah blah.. my husband replied that he didn't think it was a big deal.. (he doesn't want to argue with his mom) so she turned to me and demanded I get it done.. I just walked into my bedroom. She FOLLOWED me in my room and told me to get it done.. I told her no, she started yelling at me about it so I yelled back at her to get out of our house.. Later on she was upset I yelled at her.. what does she expect?

She says my kids are always going to get THE COLIC after they are born because I bring them out too much without a blanket over their heads.. my youngest 2 were born in may .. its HOT for the next few months.. ugh.

She doesn't know how long I plan to breastfeed but she asked my husband once and he said in a joking tone.. until she's 6.. and she looked at me and said that anyone who breastfeeds that long is mentally screwed up and abusive. Im just going to feed her until she's done with it. I love milky smiles.

im vegetarian and she always asks how we get protein, this and that, blah blah blah.. babies aren't going to grow right... Toby was 8'3" Doug was 9'1" and Katherine was 8'11".. everyone says how healthy my kids look.. I don't think it's a problem.

First time I met my mil to be.. she asked what religion I was and I told her I like Buddhism.. and she said I HAVE to be Christian.. I just don't talk about it and go along with what she says around her so as not to start arguments.. same with my husband..

She is a big spanking advocate.. says to use a wooden spoon.. thats what my sister in law uses.. umm. no thanks.









I have a mattress on the floor to sleep with my baby and she always complains about that one... She's 7 months and pretty squirmy now.. don't want her to fall off. She's insistent she needs to sleep in a crib.

My mil is just weird.. when my husband and his siblings were younger my mil was divorced and would tell people that she adopted them from her dead sister when she died.. and once when my husbands sister was at a restaurant when she was a teenager she saw her mom with a man and went to say hi and her mom acted like she didn't know who her daughter was.. it really hurt my sil. okay okay enough complaining about my mil I feel better after venting.


----------



## Momtwice

Quote:


Originally Posted by *majorsky* 
So at that time the "fashionable" thing to do was to MAKE your own baby formula. I asked my mom what the formula was made from. I couldn't imagine a mom in the 1950s making a baby formula that had any real nutritional value for a young baby, and I was right. The popular thing to do was to use Pet condensed milk,







and I suppose add some vitamins to it.

Yup. 1960's too. If you ever see old parenting books from then like Dr. Spock they have the recipes. Often just canned milk and corn syrup, no vitamins.


----------



## Momtwice

Quote:


Originally Posted by *moppity* 
Sorry I know this was ages ago, just wanted to respond...had come home from playgroup and was cranky at all of them







Their kids aren't affectionate when I have seen them, have never seen any of them hug each other or their parents







: They all thought I had *taught* her somehow, books/video/lessons how to hug...

In other words they don't understand about modeling. You taught her to be huggy by hugging her! (Plus it sounds like it's just her temperament.)


----------



## Momtwice

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BelgianSheepDog* 

THUMP! "Wahhh!" Scurry scurry back into bed.

THUMP! "Waahhh!" Scurry scurry back into bed.

Then she heard:

THUMP! *dead silence*

She went to sleep. In the morning she found toddler DH curled up on the floor.

I wanted to cry when I heard this story, but she thought was hi-freakin-larious! correction, i wanted to cry and smack her.


I would be holding back a snarky remark about knowing what kind of home to pick for her when she got old.

Can only imagine how she was parented...or not parented I should say.


----------



## ramlita

Quote:


Originally Posted by *karlugato* 
once when my husbands sister was at a restaurant when she was a teenager she saw her mom with a man and went to say hi and her mom acted like she didn't know who her daughter was.. it really hurt my sil.










The whole picture there is intense, but that one takes the cake!

By the way,


----------



## catnip

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Momtwice* 
Yup. 1960's too. If you ever see old parenting books from then like Dr. Spock they have the recipes. Often just canned milk and corn syrup, no vitamins.

I think usually they were given vitamin drops seperately. My husband was breastfed for 6 weeks and then fed canned milk/corn syurp formula when his mom went back to work.


----------



## AmyAngel

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Momtwice* 
Yup. 1960's too. If you ever see old parenting books from then like Dr. Spock they have the recipes. Often just canned milk and corn syrup, no vitamins.

I remember my mom making formula involving canned milk too - it had to be 1977 or later. I THINK I remember it being for my youngest sister, though, who was breastfed for 11 months, so not for a newborn. I'm afraid to ask what she fed me and my middle sister, we weren't breastfed. (I think she may have tried with me for a few days, maybe, but my middle sister was premature and in an incubator with bili-lights - I don't think she got any BM.)


----------



## ChrisCountryGirl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bandgeek* 









The worst I ever heard was 4 a day from someone on a mainstream bb that I don't go to anymore. She said unless he pooped, she only used 4 a day. She knew he was sitting in a peed-in diaper for several hours before it was full enough to change, but she didn't care. Said they couldn't afford more. This is when our babies were just a few months old too, not like toddlers who only pee 4 or 5 times a day. I flat out told her it was disrespectful and she had other options to save money (like cloth) that didn't involve letting her kid soak in his own urine 24/7, but she said it worked for her previous 3 kids so it wasn't a problem.







:

2 a day is unbelievable.

I know someone who was like this with her 4 kids when they were babies.







She & her husband would only change diapers if it was VERY wet or had a BM. Even when her kids were newborns/young infants, she'd go 4-5 hours without changing the kid's diaper. The kids wore disposable diapers as babies too. I've never said anything about it even though, I thought it was disgusting. By the way, they're a middle-class, educated family


----------



## Katielady

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Envision* 
I went to visit one of my childless friends and she had another friend over who had a 3 or 4 year old there. My ds was maybe 3 months or something at the time...

So I of course feed him while we are there and the childless person says..."does it hurt?"..I'm like "would I do it if it hurt???" This is also the friend that kept asking me if it hurt when the baby moved when I was still pregnant...duh.

Anyway, then the other person who had a child had to go into the reason she couldn't breastfeed her baby..
"Oh, I really tried and finally after day two the nurses realized that I wasn't making any milk..so I had to give her formula..." blah blah blah..then proceeds to tell me "man, I had to wear the tighest bra I had when I got engorged..it was so painful..."
Not wanted to completely embarrass everyone I just sat there puzzled by this logic..."I have no milk, but I am in so much pain because I am engorged"...







:

*I always wonder, why can't people just say "I don't want to breastfeed, that doesn't work for me..." I would have much more respect for their honesty then the idiotic stories they come up with...*

Oils









I agree! I get this all the time...it comes up that I BF and then I have to listen to their often weak story about why it "didn't work out."

I never know what to say, because I faced just about every breastfeeding challenge there is- milk was slow to come in after caesarean birth, nearly flat nipples, DS had small mouth & recessed chin, my skin is very sensitive so on the rare occasions he did latch on, it was excruciating. But I kept at it, visiting a lactation consultant and using pumping and nipple shields until BFing finally became as easy and wonderful as I knew it someday would be. It was very hard work, but I mean, what could have been more important at that time than making it so that I could give my son the best possible food?

So it's hard to just smile sympathetically when people say, "I couldn't get him latched on at the hospital. So it didn't work out and I'm feeding him formula."


----------



## bravofrenchie

Anyone have any new ones after the holidays?


----------



## jayayenay

I had a mildly annoying one yesterday at the store...

It was a gorgeous sunny day, probably in the 60s. I had ds in a long-sleeved shirt, diaper and baby legs, and was holding him while I returned our shopping cart. I was bouncing him up and down, and he was giggling, and a lady saw us and grinned & laughed. Then she called out in an excited voice, "No shoes! No shoes!"

ETA: When we walked past her again coming back to the car, I think she called something else out to us. I was talking to ds, though, and didn't hear what she said.

I just ignored her, because overall she seemed happy to see him giggling and bouncing away, but omfg, get over it! He's not walking around; he doesn't need shoes. It's a nice warm day. We're getting right back in the car. I could have put socks on him, but he'd pull them off anyway. He runs really warm and if she had come over and felt his feet (not that I'd want her to, but still...), she would see that they're plenty warm. I'm not a bad mother because I don't put socks on my baby when he doesn't care. Hrmph.


----------



## guestmama9911

Today my sister told me I was putting my child in danger for not taking him to a doctor for a 100.2 fever. She got very frustrated with me and then hung up the phone.

This sister prefers medical interventions above all else. She constantly thinks I am a negligent mama for trying natural first and medical later.


----------



## ThreeBeans

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alisaterry* 
Today my sister told me I was putting my child in danger for not taking him to a doctor for a 100.2 fever. She got very frustrated with me and then hung up the phone.

This sister prefers medical interventions above all else. She constantly thinks I am a negligent mama for trying natural first and medical later.


Not even mainstream people take kids to the doctor with a 100.2 fever. Mainstream doctors don't want to SEE kids with 100.2 fevers


----------



## guestmama9911

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ThreeBeans* 
Not even mainstream people take kids to the doctor with a 100.2 fever. Mainstream doctors don't want to SEE kids with 100.2 fevers









Exactly. I don't need to wait 3 hours and pay $150 for a doctor to tell me to give my son extra fluids and wait it out!


----------



## phoebemommy

My mil and gmil thought I hold 4 mo ds too much. They got me a baby gym as an intervention. Babies need their freedom and to learn to be independent, they say. I just ignored them and kept holding him. Finally we had a talk about it, and they admitted it was a part of this attachment parenting that was just new to them. Then gmil said, "but if he never spends any time on his back, aren't you worried about him getting enough exercise?" Apparently lying down and kicking his legs around is essential baby exercise in her book.


----------



## janerose

Quote:


Originally Posted by *phoebemommy* 
Then gmil said, "but if he never spends any time on his back, aren't you worried about him getting enough exercise?" Apparently lying down and kicking his legs around is essential baby exercise in her book.

Interesting since it's not recommended to do playtime on the back anyway. Seems like everywhere we go (ped, playgroup, WIC office, etc) there are signs hanging up promoting "Back to sleep, Tummy to play".

Holly


----------



## 2 in August

Quote:


Originally Posted by *janerose* 
Interesting since it's not recommended to do playtime on the back anyway. Seems like everywhere we go (ped, playgroup, WIC office, etc) there are signs hanging up promoting "Back to sleep, Tummy to play".

Holly

I don't think that's because there is anything wrong with being on their backs to play, it's just so that they aren't on their backs so much that they have problems with head molding.


----------



## cottontail

After spending 3.5 hours in a carseat, then being plunged into a house full of strangers eager to hold the new baby, DD was understandably fussy and wanted mamma.

But, noooo. None of the above could possibly cause her fussiness. You see, it is because my breast milk alone is not substantial enough for her! At 4-months! (According to some I must be starving her)

Sheesh.


----------



## Zuzu822

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alisaterry* 
Exactly. I don't need to wait 3 hours and pay $150 for a doctor to tell me to give my son extra fluids and wait it out!


Quote:


Originally Posted by *ThreeBeans* 
Not even mainstream people take kids to the doctor with a 100.2 fever. Mainstream doctors don't want to SEE kids with 100.2 fevers









In my area, they want to see them from 100.4 and up IMMEDIATELY. (Maybe there is a danger difference between 100.2 and 100.4?) I can't tell you how many times this was impressed upon me when the baby was born. They pretty much said that he would have brain damage for LIFE if his fever went *"THAT HIGH"* and I didn't take him in.









Of course, for vaxes (we selectively vax), I was assured that 104 was "normal."







:


----------



## WinterBaby

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Zuzu822* 
In my area, they want to see them from 100.4 and up IMMEDIATELY. (Maybe there is a danger difference between 100.2 and 100.4?)

No, but there is a significant difference between 100.4 and 104. Sure that's not what you're thinking of?


----------



## Wittyone

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WinterBaby* 
No, but there is a significant difference between 100.4 and 104. Sure that's not what you're thinking of?

100.4 is considered the "fever point" for newborns...and generally western medicine is very concerned about fevers in babes less than 3 months of age, which is likely why they really stressed that #


----------



## Zuzu822

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Wittyone* 
100.4 is considered the "fever point" for newborns...and generally western medicine is very concerned about fevers in babes less than 3 months of age, which is likely why they really stressed that #

You're ahead of me! I double-checked all my literature and it does say 100.4. I still don't think I'd rush to the doc unless I couldn't get it down in a few hours, though. Luckily we're passed that point with no problems!


----------



## Mamma Christi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PumpkinSeeds* 
My MIL said that by nursing my ds I was going to turn him into a homosexual.










Are you kidding me? WTF.

I had my old midwife (MEDwife more like it, I switched from her) tell me that if I coslept I WOULD roll over on him and he WOULD die.







: wtf.


----------



## corwinegall

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bravofrenchie* 








Anyone have any new ones after the holidays?

Ten years ago I had a lot of raised eyebrows and passive agressive comments. Now I have a wonderful ten year old who is healthy, smart, independant (but still calls me "mommy"







) and well behaved. Today all I need to do is point to ds and say I'm going to do everything the same with dd and they really can't come up with much criticism.

Of course, I still have to wait until he's a parent to see how well I've parented







.


----------



## wild&precious life

Okay, my cousin told me a great one! Her 1 yr old DS loves to shriek and they were in the grocery store and he was shrieking. A woman walks up to her and says, "If you flick him on the cheek, he will stop shrieking and it won't leave any bruises!"







: WTF!!!
Leslie


----------



## Mamma Christi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wild&precious life* 
Okay, my cousin told me a great one! Her 1 yr old DS loves to shriek and they were in the grocery store and he was shrieking. A woman walks up to her and says, "If you flick him on the cheek, he will stop shrieking and it won't leave any bruises!"







: WTF!!!
Leslie

omg. That's like my mom's friend who (when I was younger) told her that if she put a bar of soap in a soak and whapped me with it I wouldn't bruise.


----------



## Elleah

I made it to the end! This is one of my favorite posts I've ever seen, but I had to read it while I was in the right mood to keep from going crazy.

This is my first post at MDC by the way.









My parents and in-laws are great for the most part. I've gotten little things from them - my dad keeps talking about how the baby needs to cry to exercise her lungs, and my mil will take the baby and walk around with her to try to soothe her while she screams instead of handing her back (I just take her back physically.), but for the most part they're supportive.

In fact, my husband's grandma asked if she is in a crib yet (she co-slept with her babies, so it wasn't a judgment), and I said, "No, she's still sleeping with us." And my husband's grandpa (big tough guy, ex-professional boxer) goes, "That is TERRIFIC! TERRIFIC!!!" It was too cute. He must have loved sleeping with his babies when they were small.

Most of the really stupid things I get are from my pediatrician. I'm switching to a new one for her 6 month appt. (she's 5 months), but I have gotten some doozies. Here is a Best Of List:

*Said to me about 2 DAY old DD: "Babies get all they need in the first 7 minutes at the breast. Feel free to take her off after that." Um, MAYBE an older baby does. But a 2 day old who is still figuring out how to eat?

*Said to me about 2 month old DD when I said she didn't like bottles: "You have to get her to take a bottle. It is a quality of life issue, and you don't want your marriage to suffer."

*Said to me about 4 month old DD: "You need to start her on rice cereal because your breastmilk doesn't have enough vitamins starting around now. Start slow, but by 6 months she should be eating solids pretty well, should only be nursing 4 times a day, and should sleep through the night without waking to nurse."

There were others, but those were the best ones from each visit. Argh.


----------



## Momtwice

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Elleah* 
*Said to me about 2 DAY old DD: "Babies get all they need in the first 7 minutes at the breast. Feel free to take her off after that." Um, MAYBE an older baby does. But a 2 day old who is still figuring out how to eat?

What do you say we invite the ped. out to eat and then take away the doctor's plate after 12 minutes?









Quote:

Start slow, but by 6 months she should be eating solids pretty well, should only be nursing 4 times a day, and should sleep through the night without waking to nurse."
Yeah, nevermind that every major medical organization recommends waiting six months and that sleep studies http://www.kellymom.com say that only 16 percent of babies are sleeping a five hour stretch at that age at night...

and that the American Academy of Pediatrics has a warning out against parent-directed schedules because they can lead to dehydration, failure-to-thrive and depression symptoms in babies.


----------



## ashleyhaugh

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alisaterry* 
Today my sister told me I was putting my child in danger for not taking him to a doctor for a 100.2 fever. She got very frustrated with me and then hung up the phone.

This sister prefers medical interventions above all else. She constantly thinks I am a negligent mama for trying natural first and medical later.

heck at the daycare center we dont even send them home til its 100.5 under 3 months or 101 over 3 months, lol


----------



## mom2L

When my 4 week old DD started getting reflux colic both my MIL and mother were very angry when I did not stop breastfeeding. They both said that it was obvious DD was lactose intolerant. Nevermind she had none of the symptoms of lactose intolerance, she was thriving on the breast, and our ped said definitely DON'T take her off the breast. I told them it was my choice and I didn't want to hear it from them again. It wasn't the snappiest comeback, but it was the best I could do at the time!


----------



## wild&precious life

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Pyratekk* 
omg. That's like my mom's friend who (when I was younger) told her that if she put a bar of soap in a soak and whapped me with it I wouldn't bruise.










I have been laughing for five minutes straight! I just keep seeing this really long tube sock with a bar of soap in it flying through the air! At least unsolicited advice is good for one thing - a laugh!
Leslie


----------



## Ellp

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wild&precious life* 








I have been laughing for five minutes straight! I just keep seeing this really long tube sock with a bar of soap in it flying through the air! At least unsolicited advice is good for one thing - a laugh!
Leslie

Hey, thats better than me! I was imagining a squishy, mushy bar of soap being wielded by a mama trying to hit her child!


----------



## cheygirl

Just the classic, from my MIL - the old, "it's good to let them cry....it exercises their lungs". whateverrr!

oh, then there was the lady who thought my 2 mos old baby girl was a boy. Completely understandable, but the excuse she gave for her 'mistake' was hilarious..."oh, I thought she was a boy because her hair is so short"!


----------



## MommyofPunkiePie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cheygirl* 
oh, I thought she was a boy because her hair is so short"!


----------



## phoebemommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cheygirl* 
Just the classic, from my MIL - the old, "it's good to let them cry....it exercises their lungs". whateverrr!

oh, then there was the lady who thought my 2 mos old baby girl was a boy. Completely understandable, but the excuse she gave for her 'mistake' was hilarious..."oh, I thought she was a boy because her hair is so short"!

Okay, I have the opposite thing happen a lot. People think my 4 mo ds is a girl because he has lots of hair. Weird.


----------



## MelissaEvans

Over the holidays, I took DS2 (10mons) back home; he had never been back in CA, so I got to show him off to everyone which was great, but there were some silly comments.

While at a steak house with my best friend from junior high through high school and her bf, DS was fussy. It was late and he was out of his environment, so it was pretty understandable. When he got upset, I'd take him out of the high chair and hold him. The bf told me to just let him scream, he wouldn't mind. Well, I would; and so would the other people trying to eat their dinners! Later he made a comment about how "children learn" - he intended for this to be negative as he felt I was pampering my baby (he has 23yr old twin boys, so he is the expert after all). Why is it a bad thing for kids to learn that mommy will help them when they don't feel good? Similarly, with DS1 we had a situation where he was in a therapy situation and upset and so I joined him. The technician told me that he'd just learn that I'd come when he was distressed. I told her I *want* him to learn that!

One of my former coworkers asked if I was still nursing, and I am. She said I must make "good milk" and I told her we all do. Apparently she dried up and had to wean before then. I didn't find out any details as there was nothing to be done at that point and I didn't want to make her feel bad.

When DH was born the doctors told MIL that her breasts were too big so she shouldn't nurse because "all she'd do all day is make milk." I can kinda see the (failed) logic in being "too small" - but being too big? Funny that other women here posted similar stories.

And as for the c/secs are safe, Dr. Michel Odent has a newish book called "The Cesarean" that's an interesting read. He mentions that there are three c/sec situations - planned no labor, in labor emergency, and in labor non-emergency - and of the three, the in labor non-emergency is the safest for mom and baby. Labor is good for babies and letting baby pick his/her birthdate helps. =)

Good news though, my GMIL who is one of the crankiest people around, had a conversation with MIL and asked if my boys were circ'd. She told her they're not, and GMIL was actually pleased. =) None of her brothers were, neither is her son/MIL's brother. MIL asked why she didn't mention this when DH was born - DH is cut. GMIL is usually an extremely pushy person; I wish she would have been for DH's sake then.

Since the nursing incident on the plane that hit the news, when I nursed DS *no one* said anything negative at all, everyone smiled. I've never had anyone shun me, but the friendliness was new. One lady even touched my arm and told me I had a beautiful baby. Well, of course I do =) but she couldn't see him as his face was stuck to my boob. That's OK, I found the support to be wonderful.


----------



## minkajane

I recently went on a business trip for a week and a half. While I was gone, DS had a bit of a growth spurt. My coworker saw him today for the first time in a few months and insists that he had the growth spurt because he wasn't nursing while I was gone. She says he was eating more because he wasn't nursing. She stood by her assertion even after I informed her that before I left, DS was only nursing once every couple of days.

Of course, she's always thought I was a nut for nursing more than a few weeks. I think she FF both hers from birth.


----------



## Katielady

I was at a museum with some friends and stopped at a bench near the restrooms to feed my baby. A seemingly nice older lady wanted to see him and didn't realize I was getting ready to nurse, so I indulged her and chatted with her a bit.

*Lady:* He's a BIG boy! How old is he?
*Me:* Seven months.
*Lady:* He's a bruiser! I bet you nurse him.
*Me:* Yep.
*Lady:* Ah, when they're nursed they get really big. Hefty.
*Me:* Yes, he's very healthy!
*Lady:* They bulk up when they're nursed. How long are you going to nurse him?
*Me:* About a year, maybe a little longer.
*Lady:* Does he get anything besides, uh....
*Me:* _Breastmilk?_ Yes, at six months I started giving him some baby food twice a day.
*Lady:* Well that's good. My daughters felt so GUILTY because they didn't nurse their children. So guilty. I told them, "Look, it's a choice. If you want to do it, you have the option, if not, that's fine. You don't have to feel guilty!"
*Me:* *silent, not sure what to say, wishing she'd skedaddle*
*Lady*: Is this your first child?
*Me*: Yes.
*Lady*: Ah well that's nice. It's a lot easier with just one, too. You can't nurse a year with the second one. Not a full year.
*Me*: *opening shirt* OK, well, I need to feed him now, and I can't talk while feeding him because he gets distrac....
*Lady:* (cutting me off and sounding hurt) Okay, okay, I won't bother you any more, I don't want to interrupt, this is your _intimate time_.
*Me:* I'm sorry, it's just that if I talk he gets all interested and won't...
*Lady*: I won't bother you. I'll just go over here. It's your _intimate time_. (stressing that as though suggesting I should go somewhere private).

Good grief. Take your weird mixed feelings about breastfeeding and bother someone else with them. I just want to feed my baby and get back to showing him Tibetan art and talking with my friends.















:


----------



## minkajane

Yikes, Katie, that lady would freak me out! Next person that insists you can't nurse a second one a full year, tell them about my MIL. My STBX was her second child and he was nursed till he was almost 5! For that matter, I was the second child and nursed 15 months. My sister was the third and nursed a year.

I just found out yesterday my mom weaned us all when we started biting instead of just teaching us not to bite.







:


----------



## Katielady

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
Yikes, Katie, that lady would freak me out! Next person that insists you can't nurse a second one a full year, tell them about my MIL. My STBX was her second child and he was nursed till he was almost 5! For that matter, I was the second child and nursed 15 months. My sister was the third and nursed a year.

I just found out yesterday my mom weaned us all when we started biting instead of just teaching us not to bite.







:

That biting thing is a common one. Supposedly once they have teeth it's a sign that they don't need breastmilk anymore. Cuz you know, now that they have two teeth they can start eating steak.









In some ways I wish I'd said more to educate her, but I just didn't have the energy. I think what she was really looking for was validation for her and her daughter's choices...she wanted me to say, "Oh, it's fine either way." Sorry, not going to hear that from me, but it's not like I'm wearing a t-shirt saying "If your daughters didn't breastfeed their babies, they are as*holes."

I don't know why NIP becomes such a political statement in some people's minds. I'm just feeding my baby, not criticizing your choices! Sheesh. MYOB, old New York busybody ladies!









p.s. oh and about the nursing for a year thing...it just goes to show how ignorant people are about BFing. The first three months, it might be harder to BF than to FF. But after that, BF is SO much easier and less time consuming! And it's certainly easier than feeding solids. I barely notice the time it takes to BF my baby now, but feeding him his babyfood is a whole major messy project!


----------



## St. Margaret

My mother nursed each one of her kids longer... my sister for over 3 years (then I came along and interrupted a bit), me for over 4, and my brother for 5! And my sister and I were probably a handful


----------



## TheBluebird

Ok, I won't bash my MIL too much, because she usually leaves me alone... but she's in town and today she was changing DD's diaper and we were talking and I mentioned that BF babies can go up to 10 days w/o pooping and it's fine. She was like, "No, that doesn't sound right!" I assured her it was but she insisted that that couldn't be right. I just shrugged. Yesterday she kept asking, "are you sure?" when I told her DD doesn't need bottles of water. YES, I'm SURE!







:

It just kills me, from a woman who didn't even try to BF. Her exact words were "We don't BF in my family. That was never something I wanted to do! That's why Gerber made those bottles."







Whatever lady.


----------



## Katielady

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TheBluebird* 
Ok, I won't bash my MIL too much, because she usually leaves me alone... but she's in town and today she was changing DD's diaper and we were talking and I mentioned that BF babies can go up to 10 days w/o pooping and it's fine. She was like, "No, that doesn't sound right!" I assured her it was but she insisted that that couldn't be right. I just shrugged. Yesterday she kept asking, "are you sure?" when I told her DD doesn't need bottles of water. YES, I'm SURE!







:

It just kills me, from a woman who didn't even try to BF. Her exact words were "We don't BF in my family. That was never something I wanted to do! That's why Gerber made those bottles."







Whatever lady.









My MIL is also obsessed with DS needing water. Whenever he reaches for a water glass she says, "Look, he's thirsty!" He reaches for powertools, knives, my eyeglasses, dishsoap, and magic markers too- should I give him those to put in his mouth?

Newsflash- babies reach for things. It doesn't mean anything other than that.


----------



## TheBluebird

Exactly! My DD stuck her fingers in my sister's lemon square dessert. Does that mean I should give her that, too? (she's 4 months old)


----------



## minkajane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TheBluebird* 







Exactly! My DD stuck her fingers in my sister's lemon square dessert. Does that mean I should give her that, too? (she's 4 months old)

*gasp* You mean you're not giving her rice cereal in a bottle of formula before bed? Don't you know she'll never sleep through the night if you don't??? And you'd better get her on solids soon or she'll NEVER eat REAL food and she'll starve to death because breastmilk isn't enough after 120 days!


----------



## cinnamonamon

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TheBluebird* 







Exactly! My DD stuck her fingers in my sister's lemon square dessert. Does that mean I should give her that, too? (she's 4 months old)

Don't ask her that...I know some who would say yes!


----------



## Katielady

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
*gasp* You mean you're not giving her rice cereal in a bottle of formula before bed? Don't you know she'll never sleep through the night if you don't??? And you'd better get her on solids soon or she'll NEVER eat REAL food and she'll starve to death because breastmilk isn't enough after 120 days!


















:

side note, I hate it when people call solids REAL FOOD, as though breastmilk is fake food, or crappy food. What could be more real than a food that's perfectly custom-designed for my baby?

It's so weird how our culture denigrates breastfeeding and breastmilk. Hard to understand, really.


----------



## jes_mar_wak_hod

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hemiola* 
I assumed that the milk would come from a hole in the middle of the nipple, too.







I hadn't really given much thought to it, really. I didn't know there would be multiple holes. When I was about 18 weeks pregnant I squeezed my nipple because I was curious as to where the milk would come from. Well milk sprayed across the room from the side of my nipple :LOL Needless to say, I was surprised! Then I realized that there were lots of holes that you couldn't see. DS is 14 mos. and I still can't see the holes. I guess everyone is like that? I hope y'all don't think I'm a total fool...I'm well educated and a rational person. I just never saw milk come out of a b00b before. But I would never ask someone where their hole was!! They might turn around and show your their butt









Laura









haha.







i didnt know either!!! thats cool! i mean it makes sense but i guess u have to experience it to know!!! lol. u learn new things every day!


----------



## MommyofPunkiePie

For those of us with food allergic children...

At my aunt's house on Christmas Day, I asked her if there was anything on the vegetables. She said there was butter on them, but if I scooped from the top, there wouldn't be too much on those pieces.







:


----------



## mommy68

Quote:


Originally Posted by *threegirlsmom* 
After I had my third daughter I was walking around some shops with my two daughters in tow and my third newborn daughter asleep in a stroller. An old lady walking by peeked into the stroller and said "gee, I bet you would have rather had a boy", then walked away. I was shocked! My oldest daughter, 5 years old at the time, asked me what was wrong with being a girl. I told her nothing, that the lady was just stupid.









God I hate comments like that. I have two older DS and when I got pregnant with our only DD five years ago I got the same comments. " I bet you want a girl this time" and blah blah. Actually I would have gladly taken another boy for our final/last pregnancy, thank you very much.


----------



## alaskaberry

starting with hospital:
"Oh, I breastfed my baby, here's some formula for yours"
"You aren't making enough milk! Your baby is going to starve!" (the message being, _You are killing your child, you selfish woman, how dare you pursue breastfeeding in our hospital?_

the usual:
"Just let him cry it out, you're spoiling him and he's manipulating you" --ILs
"He needs to learn that life's not fair" --DH (baby is 8 ms! Come on!)

"You're going to turn him into a pansy boy if you BF past one"


----------



## elmh23

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyofPunkiePie* 
For those of us with food allergic children...

At my aunt's house on Christmas Day, I asked her if there was anything on the vegetables. She said there was butter on them, but if I scooped from the top, there wouldn't be too much on those pieces.







:

Dd is allergic to peanuts and our doc advised us to avoid tree nuts until we could get an allergy test done (they won't do one until she's 3 or until she's had an anaphalactyc episode.) So at Christmas Eve dinner, dd was STARVING and grumpy (she had had a tiny lunch and no nap yet) so I gave her some rice real quick to keep her quiet during prayer. Anyways, she LOVED it. I knew MIL had made it so I assumed it would be safe since we've had many a conversation about avoiding ALL nuts and peanuts. At the table, as the rice is getting past around, I noticed some nuts of some sort. I asked MIL. They were almonds. Luckily, dd didn't react, but still she couldn't eat any more of it. Then the only other thing that looked liked she'd eat it was the stuffing adn that had nuts in it too. Poor thing ended up eating cookies for Christmas dinner because goose just isn't appealing to a 2-year-old (or a 23-year-old, I didn't eat much either.) I hate dealing with the in-laws and dd's food issues. MIL always has peanuts out for a snack since they are healthy and all, but everytime we go over there, even when she KNOWS we're coming over, I have to put the peanuts up. We know she's allergic to those cause the two times she's had them, she reacted. Why can't they understand no nuts? It's not fair for her to see someone else eating them when she can't (she's 2, so she doesn't really get it when we explain it.)


----------



## janerose

Quote:


Originally Posted by *elmh23* 
Dd is allergic to peanuts and our doc advised us to avoid tree nuts until we could get an allergy test done (they won't do one until she's 3 or until she's had an anaphalactyc episode.) So at Christmas Eve dinner, dd was STARVING and grumpy (she had had a tiny lunch and no nap yet) so I gave her some rice real quick to keep her quiet during prayer. Anyways, she LOVED it. I knew MIL had made it so I assumed it would be safe since we've had many a conversation about avoiding ALL nuts and peanuts. At the table, as the rice is getting past around, I noticed some nuts of some sort. I asked MIL. They were almonds. Luckily, dd didn't react, but still she couldn't eat any more of it. Then the only other thing that looked liked she'd eat it was the stuffing adn that had nuts in it too. Poor thing ended up eating cookies for Christmas dinner because goose just isn't appealing to a 2-year-old (or a 23-year-old, I didn't eat much either.) I hate dealing with the in-laws and dd's food issues. MIL always has peanuts out for a snack since they are healthy and all, but everytime we go over there, even when she KNOWS we're coming over, I have to put the peanuts up. We know she's allergic to those cause the two times she's had them, she reacted. Why can't they understand no nuts? It's not fair for her to see someone else eating them when she can't (she's 2, so she doesn't really get it when we explain it.)

Wow!







I'm sorry but that's just awful.

Does you MIL not get that an allergic reaction could kill your DD? If you havn't put it to her that way yet (and I'm guessing you have) I would really be that blunt about it. Maybe talk about it with your ped & see if he'd be willing to speak with your MIL if invited her to an appointment?

I know it shouldn't make any difference, but sometimes hearing it from a "professional" makes a big difference in how seriously people take things.









Holly


----------



## elmh23

Quote:


Originally Posted by *janerose* 
Wow!







I'm sorry but that's just awful.

Does you MIL not get that an allergic reaction could kill your DD? If you havn't put it to her that way yet (and I'm guessing you have) I would really be that blunt about it. Maybe talk about it with your ped & see if he'd be willing to speak with your MIL if invited her to an appointment?

I know it shouldn't make any difference, but sometimes hearing it from a "professional" makes a big difference in how seriously people take things.









Holly

I have and she always says "Oh that's right" when I tell her I'm moving things. Honestly, I'm wondering if she's getting some demesia in her old age (she's 62.) I'd take her to the doc, but honestly the woman drives me bonkers and I don't want to, lol. Maybe when we finally get an allergist, I'll take her to one of those appointments, but I can't do that for about 11 months.


----------



## Awaken

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MelissaEvans* 
One of my former coworkers asked if I was still nursing, and I am.

She said I must make "good milk" and I told her we all do. Since the nursing incident on the plane that hit the news, when I nursed DS *no one* said anything negative at all, everyone smiled. I've never had anyone shun me, but the friendliness was new. One lady even touched my arm and told me I had a beautiful baby. Well, of course I do =) but she couldn't see him as his face was stuck to my boob. That's OK, I found the support to be wonderful.

Melissa- what a great response! And, how wonderful that people have been so supportive of your nursing on the plane- it is great to hear some positive comments for once!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Katielady* 
I think what she was really looking for was validation for her and her daughter's choices...she wanted me to say, "Oh, it's fine either way." Sorry, not going to hear that from me, but it's not like I'm wearing a t-shirt saying "If your daughters didn't breastfeed their babies, they are as*holes."


----------



## jes_mar_wak_hod

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CryPixie83* 
I can't stand the "pinching the baby" comments. My MIL has made them since dd was born and it irritates me to no end. People think they're being clever when they say it, and it can really bother new mothers especially.

My younger sister and my aunt were for some reason (







:?) discussing getting pulled over and my little sis said that if she got pulled over she would pinch her baby to make the policeman not give them a ticket or think they had a good reason for speeding!







i was like "OMG! if i EVER heard that u actually did that u would get more than a pinch! Ur poor future babies!"

im normally not a violent person but...*sigh* if she did that i would be seriously tempted.







:


----------



## Erin M

My MIL is facinated with watching me change diapers. (prefolds in a cover, no snappi) EVERY TIME we have this conversation:

MIL: Are you going to put this on her? (points to diaper cream)
Me: no
MIL:how about this? (points to nipple cream)
Me: no
MIL: maybe some of this one? (points to my moisturizer)
Me: No, Do you put cream on your ass every time you pee?
MIL: no

MIL's mother was visiting for Xmas, I got to hear all the old lady BFing jems others have posted. my favorite was:
GMIL:you're so lucky you can do that, women with large breasts don't make enough milk
Me: I have huge breasts grandma.
GMIL: well maybe now you do

She's met me many times before, I've always had my double D's with me on these occasions.







:


----------



## jayayenay

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Erin M* 
MIL: Are you going to put this on her? (points to diaper cream)
...
Me: No, Do you put cream on your ass every time you pee?
















:


----------



## maliceinwonderland

When I was pg with dd, my now ex-mil said that if "something happened" to the baby she would go to hell because we weren't going to baptize her.







:
I made a not very nice comment along the lines of not putting much faith in a god that would send a baby to hell, and I've never heard a thing about it since.

I have a great story about almost giving an eldery woman a heart attack on a bus, but I think the humour might be a little dark for around here


----------



## mommy68

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alaskaberry* 
the usual:
"Just let him cry it out, you're spoiling him and he's manipulating you" --ILs
"He needs to learn that life's not fair" --DH (baby is 8 ms! Come on!)

gotta love that one







I heard that one all the time with all of my (co-slept, non-spanked) kiddos. How the heck can a baby manipulate someone.


----------



## ThreeBeans

Quote:


Originally Posted by *maliceinwonderland* 

I have a great story about almost giving an eldery woman a heart attack on a bus, but I think the humour might be a little dark for around here









Oh, please tell it


----------



## Katielady

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ThreeBeans* 
Oh, please tell it

















:

I'm Irish, dark humor is my *favoritest*.


----------



## Kaitnbugsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Katielady* 







:

I'm Irish, dark humor is my *favoritest*.









agreed. dark humor is the best









ETA: Dumbest thing ever: ISIL. I've posted her stupidity previously. Aside from the fact that she said in front of a mutal friend's mother that she wasn't sure BIL is the babydaddy to the kid she's carrying {he's almost assuredly not, he was on some major prescripts as a child/teen, many of which have impotence as a common side-effect, and none of his previous conquests, even the super fertile ones with multiple other kids, has gotten knocked up} IN FRONT OF WITNESSES and was then po'd when she got called out on it by me... ugh....

anyhoo, this was the NYE convo at the dinner table {I was actually talking to DH's lil sis, whom I am closer to than some of my own family, and have babysat/watched since she was a kid and am now happy to call a friend, but anyways}

ME: When I finish school in November, I'm going to start training as a doula. I figure at the very least Sabra {good friend who is very quiver-ful} is going to make the education useful.

ISIL: what the heck's a doula? {she's 8.9 mos preggo, and has been to the doctor WEEKLY for the last six months, by choice. It's her SECOND kid}

Baby Sis: someone who helps out with a natural childbirth.

ISIL: oh, you mean a midwife

Baby Sis: No. Totally different.

ME: {sitting there trying not to roll my eyes at ISIL} Not totally different. A good midwife has the same qualities as a good doula.

ISIL sits there for a minute, then says something under her breath

FIL: What was that {FIL adores me. Thinks I'm funny as heck, and alot smarter than even DH gives me credit for. In his perfect world, MIL and I would get along, but he's long since given up on that. 13 years ago it might have been possible, but that's another story} He hates ISIL

ME: Yeah really. SHare your wisdom.

ISIL: I said I don't see the point in having someone who isn't a doctor deliver a baby. It's stupid. It's not like they can do anything useful. They can't even give you drugs.

ME: Alot of people prefer NOT to drug their child before it's even born. And they also don't treat being preg as an illness that requires a doctor, hospital and other crap unless it's really needed. And then there's you.

ISIL starts grumping under her breath again. Baby Sis and I lock eyes and both suddenly need to go to walmart. long vent session followed.

Honestly, if it weren't for MIL and ISIL I would spend scads more time with DH's family. But those two make me want to forgo my gentle mothering/gentle, natural human ways and do some seriously NOT GENTLE and INHUMANE things...


----------



## faerierose

My youngest DS is 3 month old and nurses often, I don't go anywhere without him (and I'm fine w/ that) but my dh is itching for some "us" time...I guess he's been talking to his friends about it because one of them just brought it up to me, I explained about DS's nursing and how I don't feel comfortable leaving him and he said
"what would happen if he missed one, its not like he would starve and die would he new parents need to have some recuperate time once in awhile" I really hate having to explain that I have no desire to leave my baby home hungry so I could go out (and do what???) I WANT to be w/ my baby, why can't people understand that?


----------



## junomama

Someone once said to DH and me (when I was nearing my due date), "You know, having a baby will change your life."

Not that this isn't true, but ... gosh, you think?!

DH replied with a straight face: "Oh, we have a cat, so I think we've had plenty of practice."


----------



## maxsmum

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PumpkinSeeds* 
My MIL said that by nursing my ds I was going to turn him into a homosexual.


classic.


----------



## _betsy_

When baby was 23 HOURS old, FIL told me she'd had enough BM (Which he called "that" but DH and I both knew what he meant) and could switch to formula now.

Yeah...

I was nursing my 3-month old on New Year's Day and FIL walked past and said how sweet she looked, sleeping.

Can you say clueless?


----------



## ipfree

inconvenient child birth... HAHAHAHHAA


----------



## ~pi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *junomama* 
Someone once said to DH and me (when I was nearing my due date), "You know, having a baby will change your life."

Not that this isn't true, but ... gosh, you think?!

DH replied with a straight face: "Oh, we have a cat, so I think we've had plenty of practice."


----------



## SaraBravo

" second hand smoke won't hurt her shes just a babe its not like shes gonna get addicted. car fumes from being out side are worse for her. what are you gonna do keep her in a bubble her whole life?" !!!!!!!!!!!!1



































:


----------



## SaraBravo

"having a baby will ruin your sex life and your relationship and you'll end up leaving each other. who really NEEDS a baby any way" my dh's uncles gf.







:


----------



## SaraBravo

Quote:


Originally Posted by *maliceinwonderland* 
When I was pg with dd, my now ex-mil said that if "something happened" to the baby she would go to hell because we weren't going to baptize her.







:
I made a not very nice comment along the lines of not putting much faith in a god that would send a baby to hell, and I've never heard a thing about it since.

I have a great story about almost giving an eldery woman a heart attack on a bus, but I think the humour might be a little dark for around here









is ur ex- mil catholic? i am catholic but dh and his family aren't really anything. we baptized our dd when she was 2 months. i don't think that a baby will go to hell if they aren't baptized. i don't know where she got something like that. to me its more of an initiation into the church. a promise to the baby to raise her with the Gospel.


----------



## Wolfcat

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SaraBravo* 
is ur ex- mil catholic? i am catholic but dh and his family aren't really anything. we baptized our dd when she was 2 months. i don't think that a baby will go to hell if they aren't baptized. i don't know where she got something like that. to me its more of an initiation into the church. a promise to the baby to raise her with the Gospel.

The going-to-hell thing was a really common belief in the middle ages...







:


----------



## alegna

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SaraBravo* 
is ur ex- mil catholic? i am catholic but dh and his family aren't really anything. we baptized our dd when she was 2 months. i don't think that a baby will go to hell if they aren't baptized. i don't know where she got something like that. to me its more of an initiation into the church. a promise to the baby to raise her with the Gospel.

Well, technically, according to my theology profs. 10 years ago at a catholic university- a baby not baptized does not go to heaven. Not exactly hell, but more pergatory.

-Angela


----------



## TheBluebird

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SaraBravo* 
" second hand smoke won't hurt her shes just a babe *its not like shes gonna get addicted.* car fumes from being out side are worse for her. what are you gonna do keep her in a bubble her whole life?" !!!!!!!!!!!!1



































:
















OMG, is that why they thought you didn't like secondhand smoke? That's gotta be the dumbest thing I've heard in a while.


----------



## St. Margaret

It used to be that unbaptized babies went to limbo (not purgatory). But just in the last few years they did away with that entire concept! I have no idea what the new protocol is now for unbaptized babies... sometimes my religion is pretty funny, I admit. But who talks about a baby going to hell to a pregnant woman!?


----------



## amandakc

While I was pregnant I got pretty big ... Your baby is going to be huge!!!! Thats all I heard. Or I must be having twins, was I sure their wasn't another baby in there? One day an older woman stopped me and told me about how when she had her kids the dr. expected her to "maintain" a healthy weight, that hurt. Dd was 7lbs at birth. Now its...
you'll have to put her down sometime...
let her cry...
shes so spoiled...
Oh and our favorite: shes not getting fussy, seriously I am her mom I know when my baby isn't happy.
Oh and the best was when my dr. left a message on my voicemail on fri. to tell me that the results of my blood test were troubling. ( at 4:45pm) He was gone by the time I called and didnt get a hold of him till tues. I cried all weekend. He told me that I needed an ultrasound and amnio...Well everything was fine because he dated it wrong. They were the worst 2 weeks of my preg.
We meet with a midwife the next week, and our dd was born in the water ...perfect!














:


----------



## faerierose

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amandakc* 
While I was pregnant I got pretty big ... Your baby is going to be huge!!!! Thats all I heard. Or I must be having twins, was I sure their wasn't another baby in there? One day an older woman stopped me and told me about how when she had her kids the dr. expected her to "maintain" a healthy weight, that hurt. Dd was 7lbs at birth. Now its...
you'll have to put her down sometime...
let her cry...
shes so spoiled...
Oh and our favorite: shes not getting fussy, seriously I am her mom I know when my baby isn't happy.
Oh and the best was when my dr. left a message on my voicemail on fri. to tell me that the results of my blood test were troubling. ( at 4:45pm) He was gone by the time I called and didnt get a hold of him till tues. I cried all weekend. He told me that I needed an ultrasound and amnio...Well everything was fine because he dated it wrong. They were the worst 2 weeks of my preg.
We meet with a midwife the next week, and our dd was born in the water ...perfect!














:

I always got the other side of it...Your 35 weeks pregnant?? Are you sure??? Ummm no I'm guessing.








I hate when people state the obvious, I have 4 kids and I always get "you have your hands full" and I'm like "thanks, I hadn't noticed, that sure explains a few thing" lol


----------



## AshasMommy

When dd was 4 months old, my friend's mom asked me "So what is dd eating these days?" I said "Breastmilk, of course." She look dumbfounded that I wasn't feeding my 4 month old solids.
I should have said, "pizza, beer, burgers."


----------



## jes_mar_wak_hod

Quote:


Originally Posted by *indiana ima* 
i'm with you. i was 17 when my little sister was born. there's only our brother between us, so it wasn't a "big family" situation, and everywhere we went people assumed that i was her mother. people also assumed that my mom was her grandmother. these things happened whether mom and i were both there or not. mom and i both found it intensely annoying, and my first nickname for my sister was "Sis".

LOL. it was even worse with my 2 younger sisters. for some reason when i was 12-14 ppl always thought i was 5 or 6 years older than i was. i mean, i was only 15 once and everyone at this one church we visited thought that i was married to my dad and that my sisters ages 11 and 13 were my DAUGHTERS!!! of course my sisters thought it was hilarious and went around calling me mommy. i was







: and thought it was disgusting.


----------



## MysteryMama

well i don't know if this is the absolute stupidest i have heard, but it's pretty bad... new years eve i had a woman tell me that the reason my milk dried up during my pregnancy is because my breasts are too small.







:


----------



## phoebemommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jayayenay* 
I had a mildly annoying one yesterday at the store...

It was a gorgeous sunny day, probably in the 60s. I had ds in a long-sleeved shirt, diaper and baby legs, and was holding him while I returned our shopping cart. I was bouncing him up and down, and he was giggling, and a lady saw us and grinned & laughed. Then she called out in an excited voice, "No shoes! No shoes!"

ETA: When we walked past her again coming back to the car, I think she called something else out to us. I was talking to ds, though, and didn't hear what she said.

I just ignored her, because overall she seemed happy to see him giggling and bouncing away, but omfg, get over it! He's not walking around; he doesn't need shoes. It's a nice warm day. We're getting right back in the car. I could have put socks on him, but he'd pull them off anyway. He runs really warm and if she had come over and felt his feet (not that I'd want her to, but still...), she would see that they're plenty warm. I'm not a bad mother because I don't put socks on my baby when he doesn't care. Hrmph.

I had one like this today.

Granted it's very cold here right now -- teens and single digits. My 4 mo ds is a hot baby, and I've more than once made him cry by having him bundled too much. He's one to settle down once he gets out into the cold air. So it's a balancing act in weather like this -- making sure he's warm enough without making him miserable.

I had to take some paperwork downtown, and parked maybe five minutes from the office I had to go to. Ds was in a snowsuit, warm mocassin-type shoes, and even knee socks since the snowsuit tends to creep up his legs (just figured this out today and was very proud of myself). He was napping when I left the car, so I didn't put his hat on, which I'd taken off because he got too hot in the car, but he did have a hood, and I had a blanket around him, up over his head. All that was exposed was his hands (haven't worked out a glove solution that doesn't piss him off or fall off) and his face. And those two things were the reason I had a blanket around him.

On the way back to the car he was awake and trying to look around, so the blanket kept slipping and I kept fixing it. Between him, me, and the blanket we had a good little warmth cocoon going. I was breathing directly on his face and on the lookout for drool. He was fine. Happy, in fact, because he loves checking out the city. So when I was like 20 paces from my car, this lady (the type who has nothing better to do than lecture strangers, you know) yells across the parking lot to me. "You need to cover his face! Just put the blanket across his whole face! That's what the Eskimos do, just put a blanket across his whole face!"

I said, "he's fine," and then ignored her. And I bet she went off and complained to somebody about irresponsible young mothers. But I'd just like to point out to the internet that:

a) We're not Eskimos. It's not even accurate to talk about "Eskimos" around here; they're Alaska Natives of various tribes, but I digress.
b) I'm sure Eskimos have their kids conditioned to having their faces wrapped in a blanket, but my very opinionated and hot-blooded ds would not stand for such a thing. It's all I can do to get a snowsuit on him to begin with.
c) Eskimos are generally spending extended periods of time outside, not going between well-heated buildings and their well-heated cars.
d) I don't know what kind of blankets eskimos wrap around their babies faces, but I certainly was not about to wrap the thick polyester blanket I happened to have with me around ds' face.
e) I'm doing just fine taking care of my son, even if I don't do what the Eskimos do.

Thank you internet, it's off my chest.


----------



## nhklh

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jes_mar_wak_hod* 
i was only 15 once and everyone at this one church we visited thought that i was married to my dad and that my sisters ages 11 and 13 were my DAUGHTERS!!!

Lol I have had this happen too, just a few months ago, though there is a bigger age difference between myself and my much-younger-half-sibs. I'm 29 and was at a fair with my father (53), half sister (10), half brother (8), half sister (4) and my son (2). My father told a stall holder he was looking to buy some slippers for his wife, and the guy asked if that was me! Ick!


----------



## ecoteat

This is probably the most morbid thing anyone has ever said to me about parenting: A friend was kindly badgering me about when I was going to have another baby. When I told her we are probably not going to have another, she insisted it was important to have at least 2 children, in case something would ever happen to one of them. Is that like having an extra sewing machine in case one breaks down? Is one kid the understudy? Whatever--I'll take my chances.


----------



## KrystalC

"You're spoiling him"

How am I spoiling him?? By responding to his needs?? So be it. Consider him to be one spoiled rotten little baby. Furthermore, is it really possible to spoil a 3 week old baby for crying out loud????

Oh, speaking of crying out. My SIL said, "Can't hurt anything to let him cry for 20 to 30 minutes. It's good for his lungs!" Of course, I responded that there is a significant body of research out there indicating that crying it out DOES hurt child development and the child-parent relationship.... and also research to refute the statement that it's good for the lungs for babies to cry. She and my brother recently found out that they're expecting a little one in August and my brother said "She's got another thing coming if she thinks she's gonna let that kid sit there and cry! Mom never did that to us!" I hope he lets her have it with both barrels when the time comes!


----------



## the_queen

I got one today. At a class for DD, I was sitting with the other mothers and one of them was talking with me about DS.

lady: "How old is he?"
me: "8 months"








lady: "How many days does he do at day care?"
me: ".........._[puzzled look]_ erm, none, I don't have a job"
lady: "_[very surprised look]_ oh! "

..........

My sis has got a 2 month old, very happily and easily breastfed. Everything is going fantastically. On a hot day, EVERY man and his dog advises her to give the baby water. Thankfully she listens to me (yay!) and drinks the water herself, and feeds her more often.
Oh, and the same sister, received as a "baby present" a twin-pack of bottles. Except the plastic wrap was off the box. And one of the bottles had been used. Apparently the gift-giver didn't have any clean bottles for her 2 yr old that morning, so gave him his CORDIAL (sugary fruit drink - do you have that in US?) in one of these bottles, then washed it out and put it back in the packet for my sis. When she was given it, she said "oh... thank you!" and smiled sweetly at them, then as soon as their back was turned, just looked at me with this wide-eyed "oh my gosh" look







:







I'm so proud of my sister. I thought for sure she'd be mainstream, but she's a proud breastfeeder and thinks that my plan to do CLW with DS is really great.


----------



## wild&precious life

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jes_mar_wak_hod* 
LOL. it was even worse with my 2 younger sisters. for some reason when i was 12-14 ppl always thought i was 5 or 6 years older than i was. i mean, i was only 15 once and everyone at this one church we visited thought that i was married to my dad and that my sisters ages 11 and 13 were my DAUGHTERS!!! of course my sisters thought it was hilarious and went around calling me mommy. i was







: and thought it was disgusting.









Oh, I had a similar thing happen to me when I was just 12 yrs old! I went to Florida with my aunt, uncle and 2 cousins. I had my 2 cousins (5 and 2) on the beach one evening by myself. This guy walks by and says "Teaching 'em to surf early, eh?" I was thinking "OMG this guy thinks I'm their mother?!" I will never forget that!
Leslie


----------



## sunmountain

Quote:


Originally Posted by *the_queen* 
Oh, and the same sister, received as a "baby present" a twin-pack of bottles. Except the plastic wrap was off the box. And one of the bottles had been used. Apparently the gift-giver didn't have any clean bottles for her 2 yr old that morning, so gave him his CORDIAL (sugary fruit drink - do you have that in US?) in one of these bottles, then washed it out and put it back in the packet for my sis. When she was given it, she said "oh... thank you!" and smiled sweetly at them, then as soon as their back was turned, just looked at me with this wide-eyed "oh my gosh" look







:







I'm so proud of my sister. I thought for sure she'd be mainstream, but she's a proud breastfeeder and thinks that my plan to do CLW with DS is really great.


lmao! in the U.S., a cordial is an alcoholic drink, like brandy, anything that you serve in small glasses.


----------



## Sarahfina

Hey I haven't read through alll of these cause there are so many and DD only naps so long, but wanted to add a funny breastfeeding one...now that DD is over a year old all of the "dont you think its time to stop??" comments are coming in....so my father says to me the other day "You know, your grandmother always says, once they are old enough to ask for it or to unbutton your blouse, its definatly time to stop." I managed a quick responce, something along the lines of "Well, I dont think I'll be taking any breastfeeding advice from Grandma, who never did breastfeed, since she "had no milk". She is hardly a breasfeeding expert qualified to dirrect baby weaning!! My father didn't respond. I also pointed out that I dont wear blouses....

Now that my baby is old enough to "ask" and to express delight, I am really enjoying breastfeeding so much more! Its fun and such a great way to connect with her! I cant imagine stopping now- soon she'll even be able to say "Thank you!!"

Stupid "no milk-ers" what do they think, god puts the baby in there but forgets to put the milk?? arg....

Sarahfina


----------



## magpiedee

We had my SIL over for Christmas breakfast, and I made a sort of breakfast casserole with whole eggs, 2% milk, sausage and WhiteWheat bread, which is pretty mainstream for us, foodwise. We were sitting around eating it, and my sister-in-law looks over and informs me that, now that DD is 4 months, I should be "chewing all my food up and giving her a little, you know, like birds". She insisted that she began doing this for her daughter at 3 months, and she turned out fine. Then she told me to stop chewing my casserole before I swallowed it and pass some to my baby.







:

I refused, citing that not only did the ped not want to do food until 6 months, and not only had DD not shown any interest, and not only were all her chubby wubby needs met by my milk, but that eggs, cow's milk and wheat toast are 3 of the top allergens in babies.

So she blinked and said, "Well, just giver her a little bit, to try, then".

Oy.


----------



## ladyslipper

From phoebemommy: "You need to cover his face! Just put the blanket across his whole face! That's what the Eskimos do said:


> I live in Bethel AK, and I only saw on one occasion a native man wrap his childs head in a fleece blanket. This caught me off guard because I watched him do it. He layed his toddler with a snow suit on in the blanket around the shoulders then wrapped him like a waffle cone. And the babies head was gone and daddy was actually carrying him to to the snow machine for river travel. A lot of the native women tell me to drape a blanket over the car seat to cover the baby because it is obvious I am not doing river travel on a snow machine. A lot of native people take care of their children differently for travel outside. I hate all the steretypes people have about "eskimo" people. I bet that lady was so annoying.


----------



## Wolfcat

My pediatrician just told me at DS's 6 mo, that I had to start feeding solids and that it was important to introduce a sippy-cup. He actually used the phrase "window of opportunity"!

I nearly laughed in his face thinking about all the poor people who never learned to drink from a cup because their parents didn't know about a window of opportunity (WOO)...









That said, isn't the WOO theory of human cognitive development kind of archaic? Psych students/profs out there?


----------



## Katielady

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Wolfcat* 
My pediatrician just told me at DS's 6 mo, that I had to start feeding solids and that it was important to introduce a sippy-cup. He actually used the phrase "window of opportunity"!

I nearly laughed in his face thinking about all the poor people who never learned to drink from a cup because their parents didn't know about a window of opportunity (WOO)...









That said, isn't the WOO theory of human cognitive development kind of archaic? Psych students/profs out there?

I think about that all the time. There was a point where I was starting to stress out because Jamie wasn't rolling over at the time the AAP book said he should, and these ladies from my playgroup were all like, training their kids to roll over ("flip like a piece of bacon! see?"). I had this brief moment of "oh god! should I be doing that? is that why he isn't rolling yet?" and then I was like "dude. it's not like if I don't train him, he'll be lying there on his back at age 18, flopping around trying in vain to move somewhere, cursing me for not teaching him how to roll over." Once you think about it that way it all seems so silly.









My favorite local LLL leader likes to say that kids grow up whether we want them to or not, and we don't have to *push* them to get to the next developmental stage- they'll get there on their own just fine. That thought helps me so much when I feel pressured by the mainstream community to PUSH PUSH PUSH my little guy to achieve the next goal.


----------



## AppleCrisp

I meant to post this for months!

At a party, with an old friend I haven't seen in a long time (who obviously has different parenting ideals than me!!)

Me: Its been hard for us to travel far lately, because he's in this phase where he cries hysterically in the carseat.

Her (looking confused, as if I'm really, really stupid): Just turn up the radio.








:


----------



## angrypixiemama

Oh that was funny about turning up the radio. Someone actually said to me the other day, " You need to remember that you are the mommy. You just tell that baby (she's 8 weeks old, by the way) that you are in charge and she needs to go to sleep." Uh, right. I will get right on that.

My FIL telling me, "She can eat solids now. We gave DH lo mein when he was a month old." Also, " If she doesn't cry for an hour a day, you will ruin her lung development."

The list goes on...


----------



## phathui5

Ok, I got a new one today. I was at a church dinner and somehow dh mentioned ds2 not liking diaper changes and trying to get away. The lady next to us (who has a nine month old), goes "Oh, I spank for that."


----------



## Birth Junky

Quote:


Originally Posted by *phathui5* 
Ok, I got a new one today. I was at a church dinner and somehow dh mentioned ds2 not liking diaper changes and trying to get away. The lady next to us (who has a nine month old), goes "Oh, I spank for that."

Yeah, 'cause spanking will make your DC _loooooooove_ diaper changes . . .







:


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Wolfcat* 
My pediatrician just told me at DS's 6 mo, that I had to start feeding solids and that it was important to introduce a sippy-cup. He actually used the phrase "window of opportunity"!

I *nearly* laughed in his face....

The bold word is the only problem I see with your story.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AppleCrisp* 
I meant to post this for months!

At a party, with an old friend I haven't seen in a long time (who obviously has different parenting ideals than me!!)

Me: Its been hard for us to travel far lately, because he's in this phase where he cries hysterically in the carseat.

Her (looking confused, as if I'm really, really stupid): Just turn up the radio.








:

If you didn't already know she parents differently from you, you could pretend that her kids *really* like music and it helps them enjoy car rides. Heck, you could pretend that anyway just to make yourself feel better.


----------



## majorsky

I heard a sad one from my mom recently... her mom, my grandma, is about as far from nurturing as you can get. She told my mom, "When you were a week old, I blistered you for screaming constantly. You knew what you were doing." Implying that my mom was trying to drive her mother crazy at a week of age and deserved a spanking.









Kristin


----------



## bandgeek

Quote:


Originally Posted by *majorsky* 
I heard a sad one from my mom recently... her mom, my grandma, is about as far from nurturing as you can get. She told my mom, "When you were a week old, I blistered you for screaming constantly. You knew what you were doing." Implying that my mom was trying to drive her mother crazy at a week of age and deserved a spanking.









Kristin

I think that's the most awful thing I've read on this thread so far.


----------



## jenP

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bandgeek* 
I think that's the most awful thing I've read on this thread so far.









That is bad (blistered?? Did she mean there were literally blisters? How hard do you have to spank for that??) but I still think the absolute worst in the thread was when someone said to a mom of a paraplegic babe that she (the mom) must be glad the baby wasn't crawling/walking and getting into everything.

Jen


----------



## cinnamonamon

Quote:


Originally Posted by *phathui5* 
Ok, I got a new one today. I was at a church dinner and somehow dh mentioned ds2 not liking diaper changes and trying to get away. The lady next to us (who has a nine month old), goes "Oh, I spank for that."

Yea, I heard that one to (at a church we visited ONCE and never returned to. I complimented a mom (jokingly) about how laid back her son was -- even during a diaper change and she said "the secret is, the first time they struggle -- when they're really little -- I tell them 'NO' and smack their butts to get them to stop moving around."

...if only you could do that to adults...


----------



## minkajane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jenP* 
That is bad (blistered?? Did she mean there were literally blisters? How hard do you have to spank for that??) but I still think the absolute worst in the thread was when someone said to a mom of a paraplegic babe that she (the mom) must be glad the baby wasn't crawling/walking and getting into everything.

Jen

Blistered is just another way to say spanked. It doesn't mean there were actual blisters left, or even that the spanking was hard, though why someone would think a one week old has the ability to TRY to drive their mom nuts just makes me







:


----------



## ChristyMarie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
If you didn't already know she parents differently from you, you could pretend that her kids *really* like music and it helps them enjoy car rides. Heck, you could pretend that anyway just to make yourself feel better.










This really is what works for my son. He normally likes the car seat but if he gets cranky, Jimmy Buffett (preferably "Banana Republics" on repeat) played loud does the trick every time.

But you have to sing along for him.


----------



## greenkids

Quote:


Originally Posted by *phathui5* 
Ok, I got a new one today. I was at a church dinner and somehow dh mentioned ds2 not liking diaper changes and trying to get away. The lady next to us (who has a nine month old), goes "Oh, I spank for that."


Quote:


Originally Posted by *majorsky* 
I heard a sad one from my mom recently... her mom, my grandma, is about as far from nurturing as you can get. She told my mom, "When you were a week old, I blistered you for screaming constantly. You knew what you were doing." Implying that my mom was trying to drive her mother crazy at a week of age and deserved a spanking.









Kristin









I just don't understand??? I grew up in a spanking household, 10 swats with a leather belt wrapped around my dad's fist was pretty normal.







I was always scared of my parents. Why would you want that?

Example: My mom was telling me this "funny" story the other day. She was having a garage sale & was talking to a lady. I came up (I was 4) & tried to take something of a table, she looked at me & said "no". I tried again & my mom started counting to 3 (at 3 I would get a spanking). So when she hit 2 I took of running yelling "NO MOMMY! NO MOMMY! NO MOMMY!" running into the house. She continues to tell the story..."that lady was so amazed at how well you listened!" She & my sister are sitting there laughing like it's so funny, I just sat there







.


----------



## WinterBaby

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ChristyMarie* 
This really is what works for my son. He normally likes the car seat but if he gets cranky, Jimmy Buffett (preferably "Banana Republics" on repeat) played loud does the trick every time.

You know, I'd never previously owned any Jimmy Buffett music in my life (never really liked him) - but dd around the age of 1 heard it on the XM radio and loved it. We've always had to sing and have music to keep her happy in the car early on. Went out and bought her a couple Buffett CDs and she's been a parrothead since. It's been her in-the-car stand-by music since. Worst part is, now she's 4, I *do* know all the words to sing along, ha.


----------



## Throkmorton

Quote:


Originally Posted by *phoebemommy* 
So when I was like 20 paces from my car, this lady (the type who has nothing better to do than lecture strangers, you know) yells across the parking lot to me. "You need to cover his face! Just put the blanket across his whole face! That's what the Eskimos do, just put a blanket across his whole face!"

I said, "he's fine," and then ignored her. And I bet she went off and complained to somebody about irresponsible young mothers.

OMG, did you send her south? 2 days after you wrote this I went through this exact conversation with some nosy lady downtown (same cold snap too. I'm in BC)

I ended up responding with "Wow! thanks for the unsolicited advice!" and walking away. This was only after I insisted about 20 times that DD was just fine, and we were only going 1/2 a block.


----------



## wild&precious life

Quote:


Originally Posted by *majorsky* 
I heard a sad one from my mom recently... her mom, my grandma, is about as far from nurturing as you can get. She told my mom, "When you were a week old, I blistered you for screaming constantly. You knew what you were doing." Implying that my mom was trying to drive her mother crazy at a week of age and deserved a spanking.









Kristin

I worked at a daycare when I was 16 and I witnessed the lady who cares for the babies spank one who was squirming on the changing table! I was so shocked I didn't know what to do. I eventually left but now I wish so much that I had told the parents of that poor little babe!

I also get from my MIL all the time - "We gave our babies rice cereal at 2 weeks, fruit at 3 weeks" blah blah blah!! Did they really think that was okay for a 2 week old!? Anyway, she thinks I'm weird for EBF for 9 mo.
Leslie


----------



## Katielady

good one today, especially for we AP-type folks...

A woman who comes every other week to help me clean the apartment saw me puttering around doing laundry with DS in my ergo on my back. She launched into, "Oh my god, you will be in TROUBLE if you do that, you'll never be able to put him down. If you carry him all the time he'll get _attached_."

God forbid he should get attached.









She then advised me to put him in the exersaucer or a swing and leave him in another room as much as possible, "to get him used to it."


----------



## rambunctiouscurls

Quote:


Originally Posted by *greenkids* 







I just don't understand??? I grew up in a spanking household, 10 swats with a leather belt wrapped around my dad's fist was pretty normal.







I was always scared of my parents. Why would you want that?

Example: My mom was telling me this "funny" story the other day. She was having a garage sale & was talking to a lady. I came up (I was 4) & tried to take something of a table, she looked at me & said "no". I tried again & my mom started counting to 3 (at 3 I would get a spanking). So when she hit 2 I took of running yelling "NO MOMMY! NO MOMMY! NO MOMMY!" running into the house. She continues to tell the story..."that lady was so amazed at how well you listened!" She & my sister are sitting there laughing like it's so funny, I just sat there







.










I grew up in a spanking, belt-loving household too. I was a meek, terrified child. no way would I want that for any child.


----------



## Wittyone

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Katielady* 
. If you carry him all the time he'll get _attached_."

Oh heavens, not *that*...anything but that!!


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
Blistered is just another way to say spanked. It doesn't mean there were actual blisters left, or even that the spanking was hard, though why someone would think a one week old has the ability to TRY to drive their mom nuts just makes me







:

I'd encountered that term a few times--can't remember context--and it's rather reassuring to know that people weren't be *quite* as abusive as I'd thought.


----------



## minkajane

I think it's a Southern thing. I know they say it a lot in WV.


----------



## majorsky

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
I think it's a Southern thing. I know they say it a lot in WV.

My grandma said it, and she's a native Kansan. They do a lot of the same things as in the South, just with less of an accent.









But truly, since my DD was born I've learned a lot more about my grandma's parenting skills than I cared to know.









Kristin


----------



## minkajane

Thankfully, I haven't had anyone telling me that I "have" to spank or DS will be spoiled. I've had people roll their eyes and blow me off when I tell them WHY I don't spank, though.

I do have a friend (childless and plans to remain that way) who asks every time I'm on the phone at night and DS cries, "At this age, won't he just cry himself to sleep?" She was honestly confused as to why I'd go to him every time he cried. She says that she prefers to be alone when she's upset and that crying knocks her out. I tried to explain that children need to know that their parents care about their feelings and are there for them all the time, not just when it's convenient or when the sun's out. I think she KINDA got it, so hopefully she won't comment again.


----------



## Wolfcat

Quote:


Originally Posted by *angrypixiemama* 
Oh that was funny about turning up the radio. Someone actually said to me the other day, " You need to remember that you are the mommy. You just tell that baby (she's 8 weeks old, by the way) that you are in charge and she needs to go to sleep." Uh, right. I will get right on that.

Yeah. I've tried telling my DS "you know, I'm the mama and you should do what I say." He looks at me and laughs... I guess he just doesn't get it...







:









Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mommy2Amira* 
I grew up in a spanking, belt-loving household too. I was a meek, terrified child. no way would I want that for any child.

My parents also spanked, but with the infamous wooden spoon. I grew up avoiding conflict and resorted to *extreme* aggression when I felt trapped/backed into a corner.


----------



## Shenjall

We had the wooden spoon too. And the electric cord (from those old electric griddles). My oh-so-kind mother would give us the choice of which one we "wanted". My sis hid them one time, and sadly, got both.


----------



## minkajane

With us, it was normally a leather belt or a plastic coathanger. When we were little, a paddle or a wooden spoon. I still have trouble with anger and aggressiveness when confronted.


----------



## Kaitnbugsmom

when we lived in the city, dad used his work belt. once we moved out to the country, we had a hundred plus year old weeping willow tree {don't get me started on my theories on the accuracy of that name} in the 'bottoms' a half mile from our house along the driveway. You guessed it, I 'got to' go get my own switch if it was something that didn't steam dad so severly that he couldn't wait that long. and God forbid I picked one that wasn't of the proper specs, I'd get spanked with the one I picked and one of the proper specs that he picked out. same thing went for my nieces and nephews {I'm 12 years younger than my sisters}

thankfully that tree was hit by lightening a few years back and burned to the ground....


----------



## majorsky

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Wolfcat* 
My parents also spanked, but with the infamous wooden spoon. I grew up avoiding conflict and resorted to *extreme* aggression when I felt trapped/backed into a corner.

That reminds me of another bizarre/horrible parenting story. About five years ago, I worked with a woman whose mother would spank her with a wooden spoon when she was a child. But that wasn't even the worst part... her mother actually painted a happy face and put yarn hair on the spoon. It wasn't a decorative item she hung on the wall, the spoon was specifically for spanking the children. Sick sick sick. Not surprisingly, this woman had a huge amount of personal problems.

Kristin


----------



## kater07

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ThreeBeans* 
Not even mainstream people take kids to the doctor with a 100.2 fever. Mainstream doctors don't want to SEE kids with 100.2 fevers









HAHAHA Apparently around her we do. I know people who arrive at their peds multiple times a month for various thing including temps of 99-100 +

Eeeekkkk... recently heard that I'm crazy to consider a chiro, homeopath or waiting it out about my kids when I didn't want to take them to the doctor when thei ONLY symptom was a fever of 101, nothing else. Had I not picked up DS to kiss him, I'd not have known he was even warm.


----------



## cinnamonamon

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kater07* 
HAHAHA Apparently around her we do. I know people who arrive at their peds multiple times a month for various thing including temps of 99-100 +

Eeeekkkk... recently heard that I'm crazy to consider a chiro, homeopath or waiting it out about my kids when I didn't want to take them to the doctor when thei ONLY symptom was a fever of 101, nothing else. Had I not picked up DS to kiss him, I'd not have known he was even warm.

It's amazing how crazy people think I am when I don't *take* their temperature every time they feel warm. "How do you know how sick they are???!!" Well... I take their other physical symptoms into account & decide if it's important enough for me to fight with them about it (they hate getting their temp taken -- and yes, we have an "instant" thermometer). It's amazing...ds2 survived a temp just last week! *gasps*


----------



## greenkids

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kaitnbugsmom* 
when we lived in the city, dad used his work belt. once we moved out to the country, we had a hundred plus year old weeping willow tree {don't get me started on my theories on the accuracy of that name} in the 'bottoms' a half mile from our house along the driveway. You guessed it, I 'got to' go get my own switch if it was something that didn't steam dad so severly that he couldn't wait that long. and God forbid I picked one that wasn't of the proper specs, I'd get spanked with the one I picked and one of the proper specs that he picked out. same thing went for my nieces and nephews {I'm 12 years younger than my sisters}

thankfully that tree was hit by lightening a few years back and burned to the ground....

What a horrible mis-use of a tree!!!


----------



## jenP

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kater07* 

Eeeekkkk... recently heard that I'm crazy to consider ...waiting it out about my kids when I didn't want to take them to the doctor when theiR ONLY symptom was a fever of 101, nothing else. H

Oh yeah, boy did I get an earful from my MIL back when DD was 1 yo and had a mild fever for two days with no other symptoms. "What, she STILL has a fever?? WHY are you not at the emergency room??!!!"
Gee, I don't know, I thought the emergency room was for, you know, EMERGENCIES. Not a little fever. And I had been in contact with the pediatrician, who did not particularly want to see DD. (although she did automatically tell me to give DD tylenol when I said she had a fever, as if we get the fever reduced then there's no problem huh? I had called to talk about what might be the CAUSE of the fever and what it might mean. Not how to get rid of the fever. If she's fighting a virus, the fever will help. And giving her tylenol and lowering the fever will NOT get rid of the virus.)
Turned out it was roseola. DD was just fine. ER, indeed!

Jen


----------



## Bimmergal2005

While this comment doesn't fit in the "stupid parenting advice" category, it does fall under "the worst thing anyone has ever said to me" category...

Some months ago, I was buying formula and a local woman asked me why I wasn't breastfeeding. When I told her (I was a bit surprised at her boldness in asking), she had the nerve to tell me that I was terribly selfish for having a major breast reduction (back in 1998) and that now I'm having to pay the price by formula feeding my baby. I've never wanted to viciously attack anybody until that day.

FYI, I did try very hard to breastfeed, but while there was milk, it had no way of coming out. There was just too much damage from the surgery. I also tried using a supplemental nursing system, but he wouldn't latch on at all and where I live (remote SE Alaska), donor milk is not an option, either.

I happened to see that woman in town yesterday and I'm still fuming. I did see her shortly after that initial episode and I overheard her talking about me to other moms and every single one defended me.


----------



## cinnamonamon

That's terrible!







s I'm glad those other moms stood up for you!


----------



## mamalisa

Seriously, who do people think they are?? That's just amazing to think that you have some right to attack a stranger like that.

I'm sorry you had to deal with that.


----------



## ramlita

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jenP* 
Oh yeah, boy did I get an earful from my MIL back when DD was 1 yo and had a mild fever for two days with no other symptoms. "What, she STILL has a fever?? WHY are you not at the emergency room??!!!"

Jen

Yeah, where did people get the idea that the fever IS the disease?

I have so low an opinion of the whole temperature-as-gauge-of-illness fad, I have never taken my kids' temperature.
I think we still have the digital thermometer someone gave us at DD's baby shower six years ago, but it's never been opened. I have never admitted this to anyone in person- I'm not up for someone with that mindset treating me like a neglectful mom.


----------



## jennybean0722

This doesn't originate from me, but from Dr. Sears, and I use it often.

Re: on "spoiling" the baby --

Mom and others: "You have to put that baby down one day and let him cry, you're spoiling him."

My reply: "Spoiling is what happens when you neglect a piece of fruit in the back of a refigerator. Love and respect is what happens when you respond to your child's needs."

This always shuts 'em up.


----------



## PNWmama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Bimmergal2005* 
While this comment doesn't fit in the "stupid parenting advice" category, it does fall under "the worst thing anyone has ever said to me" category...

Some months ago, I was buying formula and a local woman asked me why I wasn't breastfeeding. When I told her (I was a bit surprised at her boldness in asking), she had the nerve to tell me that I was terribly selfish for having a major breast reduction (back in 1998) and that now I'm having to pay the price by formula feeding my baby. I've never wanted to viciously attack anybody until that day.

FYI, I did try very hard to breastfeed, but while there was milk, it had no way of coming out. There was just too much damage from the surgery. I also tried using a supplemental nursing system, but he wouldn't latch on at all and where I live (remote SE Alaska), donor milk is not an option, either.

I happened to see that woman in town yesterday and I'm still fuming. I did see her shortly after that initial episode and I overheard her talking about me to other moms and every single one defended me.










I can't believe she attacked you like that! Yay to the other women for defending you!









For some reason my FIL is obessed with when my son will be eating solids. FIL asks alls the time when DS will be eating "real" food. I told him that he already is eating real food, as breastmilk isn't "fake". When DS was barely 3 months old he said that all the babies he's ever known were eating at least cereal at that age, after I had told him that he wasn't getting any solids until he's at least 6 months old. This guy is my DH's step-father, and has never had any children of his own, but yet he is the expert on infant feeding


----------



## bandgeek

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ramlita* 
Yeah, where did people get the idea that the fever IS the disease?

I have so low an opinion of the whole temperature-as-gauge-of-illness fad, I have never taken my kids' temperature.
I think we still have the digital thermometer someone gave us at DD's baby shower six years ago, but it's never been opened. I have never admitted this to anyone in person- I'm not up for someone with that mindset treating me like a neglectful mom.









I'm also a neglectful mom who doesn't take my kid's temp when he's sick.














I can tell how sick he is by how he LOOKS. I don't need a themometer to tell me when and if it's time to go to the ER. And I'm also one of those neglectful moms who doesn't stuff him full of tylenol and motrin when he gets a fever. We take warms baths, nurse a lot, snuggle a lot, and let let the fever run it's course. And you know what? He never gets sick. He gets a 24 hour fever and then...nothing...because the fever did it's job. He's only had one runny nose in the last 16 months (but probably 10 fevers). And he's never been sick enough to warrant a trip to the doc or the ER. But you better believe people act like I'm killing my child when they find out I'm not treating his fever!







:


----------



## ramlita

Hooray for kindred spirits!!!!









Even here, I was waiting for some flames...

But yeah, I know when my kids are sick! It's so rare, it sticks out


----------



## mamalisa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ramlita* 
Yeah, where did people get the idea that the fever IS the disease?

I have so low an opinion of the whole temperature-as-gauge-of-illness fad, I have never taken my kids' temperature.
I think we still have the digital thermometer someone gave us at DD's baby shower six years ago, but it's never been opened. I have never admitted this to anyone in person- I'm not up for someone with that mindset treating me like a neglectful mom.









I rarely take a temp. If they feel warm, I know they are fighting something. I took dd's when she was both hot and lethargic. Guess what? She was sick! Duh.

Funny story (funny sad? funny amusing?) My dh was sitting in the Urgent Care over the weekend and this woman came in, yelling at the receptionist. She knew what her daughter had (um, ok) and she just needed the dr to write a perscription. The nurse was like, no way, wait your turn. Then the lady was like, "BUT SHE HAS A FEVER!!" The nurse asked what it was and the last time she took her temp. 100.2, 4 hours ago. The nurse was clearly trying to go above and beyond when in reality she should have laughed at the woman. 100.2? Good gracious!


----------



## janerose

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Bimmergal2005* 
While this comment doesn't fit in the "stupid parenting advice" category, it does fall under "the worst thing anyone has ever said to me" category...

Some months ago, I was buying formula and a local woman asked me why I wasn't breastfeeding. When I told her (I was a bit surprised at her boldness in asking), she had the nerve to tell me that I was terribly selfish for having a major breast reduction (back in 1998) and that now I'm having to pay the price by formula feeding my baby. I've never wanted to viciously attack anybody until that day.









That's happened to me too! DD1 was supplemented because of supply issues. Luckily I never saw the woman again.

Holly


----------



## Bimmergal2005

Quote:


Originally Posted by *janerose* 







That's happened to me too! DD1 was supplemented because of supply issues. Luckily I never saw the woman again.

Holly









: I'm sorry you went through something similar.

Thanks, ladies!


----------



## minuet

When I was 6 months pregnant with #2 I was in a store with my ds#1 on my hip in a sling. I was paying for my stuff and the clerk told me I should get ds#1 off my hip b/c If i didn't I would then have a c-section. She told me that was why she had one.







:


----------



## bandgeek

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minuet* 
When I was 6 months pregnant with #2 I was in a store with my ds#1 on my hip in a sling. I was paying for my stuff and the clerk told me I should get ds#1 off my hip b/c If i didn't I would then have a c-section. She told me that was why she had one.







:

I wonder if a doctor actually told her this or if she just assumed. That's a funny and far-fetched assumption! And if a doc told her that...well that's just sad.


----------



## ashleyhaugh

on another board i go to someone was asking for help with a constipated 3 months old- aside from the fact that EVERYONE was reccommednig juice, and saying it was fine, one person said that her ped said "strictly formula/breast milk the first 2 months and when they are 2-4 months, start them on juice"


----------



## deuxceleste

I'm pregnant with my first, but with the exception of an immediate family member telling me I was only choosing homebirth to be "different" or "unique" (derogatory, as in, to stab my family in the back), I've been surrounded by people who are supportive and generally just wonderful about it. Even customer service reps on the phone, etc.

We'll see what happens when DC is born next monthish.


----------



## halaroo

When my mil found out we were planning a homebirth, she kept telling me how her son (my husband) would have died had he been birthed at home. This is after I'd heard all her hospital-birth horror stories!

She also freaked out when she found out that I didn't see a doctor once during my pregnancy. "Midwives aren't as well-trained in childbirth and pregnancy as real doctors!" That one made me giggle.

When my dd was a couple of months old and would cry when I left the room, I was told that she was too attached to me and I needed to do something about it. Of course she's attached to me, she's a baby!


----------



## linguistmama

Once I was in a store with dd facing out with her legs under her in the sling. One of the employees asked me where her legs were in a tone of voice that implied that dd didn't have any legs since she couldn't see them!


----------



## jenP

Quote:


Originally Posted by *halaroo* 
She also freaked out when she found out that I didn't see a doctor once during my pregnancy. "Midwives aren't as well-trained in childbirth and pregnancy as real doctors!" That one made me giggle.

Oh yeah, I forgot about all the times I heard, "so when are you going to the doctor?"
It was especially funny when I was expected to see a doctor "to see if you really are pregnant"!! Okay, I had sex when I was ovulating, I missed my period, my boobs are big and sore, AND TWO HOME PREGNANCY TESTS WERE POSITIVE (yes, I think I can pee on a stick), but you're not REALLY pregnant until the doctor tells you that you are








But then for at least half the pregnancy it was "so when do you see the doctor?"
I'm seeing a midwife.
but when do you see the DOCTOR?
I don't, I'm going to a midwife.
You mean, you aren't going to see a doctor at all??
that's right.
OOOOhhhhhhh...









Jen


----------



## J's Mombee

My mother inlaw seems to be okay, and actually gives me good and supportive tips to help with my bf relationship w/ds.

My DH's Paternal Grandmother:
Asked my DH how the baby was doing, and wanted to know how big he was. My DH described the baby (telephone conversation), and he has always measured in the 97th percentile for weight and height since his first 2 month appt... wearing clothes for at least twice his age for wt and ht.
Anywho, she asks why he was so big. My DH proudly states that it is in his genes, and that the breastmilk makes him nice and healthy... DH's pat. gmom yells "Oh my god, you are only supposed to bf for 2 months! You are going to spoil him!" DH tried to inform her of the bfts and finally ends w/ "in the US everybody does it..." For some reason the last answer was sufficient for her... I found it hilarious, even tho he lied... BFing moms in the US still get annoying comments.

My Grandma reminds me wkly that my ds will bite me... I remind her wkly that he and I will work through it.


----------



## J's Mombee

I have never been crazy about meat, but I have eaten it all of my life... But when I got pregnant, I had a really hard time eating meat, and basically stopped eating meat until my ds was born. My friend's mom told me that my baby would have blotchy skin if I didnt eat enough meat.

Once the baby was born and he was about 4 months, my maternal grandma comments on how beautiful his skin is, and states that the next time she gets pregnant (she is 74 yo) she plans to not eat meat and eat lots of veggies, then bf... lol


----------



## Shenjall

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jenP* 
Oh yeah, I forgot about all the times I heard, "so when are you going to the doctor?"
It was especially funny when I was expected to see a doctor "to see if you really are pregnant"!! Okay, I had sex when I was ovulating, I missed my period, my boobs are big and sore, AND TWO HOME PREGNANCY TESTS WERE POSITIVE (yes, I think I can pee on a stick), but you're not REALLY pregnant until the doctor tells you that you are








But then for at least half the pregnancy it was "so when do you see the doctor?"
I'm seeing a midwife.
but when do you see the DOCTOR?
I don't, I'm going to a midwife.
You mean, you aren't going to see a doctor at all??
that's right.
OOOOhhhhhhh...









Jen

After my dd was born at home and both sides of our families were there enjoying the moment (mere hours after her birth), my mother pipes up, "so, when do we take her to the dr? Today or can we wait until tomorrow?"
One midwife laughed, the other was very angry and offended (cant say I blame her, my mom kept reffering to her as the "nurse").
I got the SAME question from my sil too........argh.


----------



## Inspired007

I having such a good time reading these posts. I am not a mama yet (God willing it will be soon!) but I am learning so much from you guys. I have to admit I've made some of these silly comments to pg women. The last comment I made was actually hurtful (although I didn't know it was at the time) and after discussing it with my cousin and sister I've come to my senses.

My younger sis was pg and she and I have always had this make fun of each other relationship. We get along really well and just play w/ ea other a lot. So when she was about 7 mos and at her baby shower I picked up her purse which was shaped like a womans figure (you know the sexy corset purses) and started making fun of her saying "you wish you looked like this". In no way was I trying to hurt her. Now, I kept up with the joke b/c I thought is was hilarious. She was answering back with stuff like "yeah, whatever, uh huh, I hear you". In my head I was thinking, "she's pregnant and she and everybody knows that she can't look like that right now but that soon she would again" because my logic was if she were just fat it would be different b/c then it's rude, right? Oh man, I got some of the strangest looks from people. I honestly can't even explain why I thought this made sense. Then b/c of the looks I started to second guess my logic and asked a close cousin and she told me that I was way off. That pregnancy is a time of insecurity and sensitivity and boy did I feel lousy. I apologized to my sis and have felt bad about it ever since (i cringe thinking about it). This was about 2 1/2 years ago and now that I am ttc I've told both my cousin and sister that I know I deserve whatever they dish out.

Please don't be too harsh. I know the error of my ways and like I said, everytime I reminisce to this moment I'm like Homer Simpson "Duh!" (slapping my forehead).







:


----------



## linguistmama

Oh, I forgot one. In a store once I had my niece in the mei tai since we were watching her for a few hours. Someone said she looked like she was being held hostage!


----------



## Symbal

I've never been a parent, but here are a few of my favorites I've heard over the years.

My neighbor, Eva, has three girls. One had dark hair, darker skin (family had some Sicilian blood in them) and didn't talk much. One was blonde and bouncy. The third was brunette, tall, and athletic. One day, her other neighbor met her at the mailbox one day to chat, and brought up the girls.

"They're all so different, those girls! Like they don't even have the same parents..." *pause* "Are they all DH's? If not, I won't say anything..."
Eva got fed up because this woman had gossiped about her daughter's (potential) father(s) before, and rounded on the neighbor, replying:
"No, we've just had different milk men in the past few years."
Then walked off. For the record, all three had the same dad.

My sister's mom (we're step sisters) is very overbearing to the point where she tried to take my DN from the nursery while my sister was recovering! Just so she could "bond with her baby." My sister was infuriated and had her banned from her room and had the baby kept with her.

Before that, her mom's other daughter, twelve year old Candace, walked into the room, eyed up my very tired sister and said "You're so lazy. You've been in that bed all day, on your back. It's probably how you got knocked up in the first place."

Sis put the fear of God into Candace and had both of them escorted out.

Though the LC was a hoot. She came in to help my sister learn a correct latch (she hadn't gotten the hang of it yet) and shooed everyone out. BIL followed us out, and I thought this was kind of odd. I asked him why and he kinda shrugged like a little kid and said the LC said he had his turn, which is why DD is getting her's.


----------



## guestmama9911

Quote:


Originally Posted by *linguistmama* 
Oh, I forgot one. In a store once I had my niece in the mei tai since we were watching her for a few hours. Someone said she looked like she was being held hostage!

That's hilarious.


----------



## Tilia

When I was about 8 months pregnant, a stranger (old man) in a store said: "You need to either have that baby, or get a new shirt." I guess I was reaching up and my belly showed. I was hugely pregnant, had GD. My comeback should have been, "Are you going to buy me a new shirt?? Maternity clothes are expensive!" People were downright rude! I was already growing out of all my maternity clothes and didn't feel to good about it!

Even a pregnant lady said something, which is a no-no in my book. She asked how many weeks I had left and I said 6. She gasped and said "OMG, I only have 2 weeks left, and I am a lot smaller than you!" Thanks, lady.

Someone once said, "Only ask a woman if she is pregnant if you can SEE the baby coming out!"

FTR, my baby was born 3 weeks early, and she weighed 8 lbs 6 oz.


----------



## Megali

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LJ's Momma* 
Once the baby was born and he was about 4 months, my maternal grandma comments on how beautiful his skin is, and states that the next time she gets pregnant (she is 74 yo) she plans to not eat meat and eat lots of veggies, then bf... lol









That's too cute!

I've been fortunate to not have received too many dumb comments (none that were memorable anyway.) What I hate hearing though is "you'll see" anytime I share with people things I want to do as a parent.


----------



## guestmama9911

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Megali* 
What I hate hearing though is "you'll see" anytime I share with people things I want to do as a parent.

Oh I hate that one so much!!!


----------



## minkajane

I got a lot of "you'll see" too. They said that about not circ'ing, co-sleeping, breastfeeding, not spanking, being a vegetarian, holding off solids until 6 months, and not vaxing. I showed them all!


----------



## wild&precious life

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
I got a lot of "you'll see" too. They said that about not circ'ing, co-sleeping, breastfeeding, not spanking, being a vegetarian, holding off solids until 6 months, and not vaxing. I showed them all!

Oh, I hate this one too! When I told everyone I was having natural childbirth at home, they said "you'll see." No, they saw! I did it and I did very well thank you very much!








Leslie


----------



## Mary-Beth

On the size of pregnant women theme....
I had such a huge belly with my first pregnancy. It was just one baby and I didn't have GD or a very big baby but just the way I carried the baby made my tummy look really huge. Anyway, my neighbor said, "You've got to have that baby soon becasuse I seriously don't think you can get any bigger." Good thing, I wasn't very sensitive to such a comment. People should just think before they speak.

And, my friend is very thin and tall with a long torso. The way she carried her baby seemd ot be more vertical becasue she didn't really "show" for a long time and right up to the end it wasn't very much of a belly. The Dr.'s became concerned about fetal growth retardation and my friend was really concerned...so many people made comments about how small she was and how wonderful she looked and how she was barely showing. It was really hard for her to go through people saying those types of comments. (Her baby turned out okay but probbaly did have some slow growth for some reason and was ver ysmall at first.)

People should just not say how big or small anyone is!!


----------



## granolalight

My stepfather when DH was 3 weeks old, waking from a nap and beginning to fuss, "You gotta let him cry. It's good for his lungs!"

That is so stupid. But I guess that was common thought process in his day.


----------



## lifescholar

Mary Beth, I can relate to the belly comments.....I got a lot of "oh, you must be having twins?" or "You're only 6 months!!!!", etc.

Honestly, I loved my belly (although could have done very well without gaining over 85 lbs!), so I didn't mind ALL that much....but I agree that people should probably keep their comments to themselves.


----------



## _betsy_

My FIL, who sees the baby a minimum of 3 times a week, asked last week "How old is she now, 8 months?" Uhm, no, she's only 4.5 months.

This is also the man who told me 23 hours after birth that she had "had enough of *that*" and we could switch her to formula now.


----------



## J's Mombee

So, in my family the norm is to Formula Feed... I decided that I wanted BF... when my DS got here, I fed on demand and still do... My mom would always comment to me and others: "Yeah, I tried that, and it lasted a month, ha ha ha" It hurt my feelings so bad, and made me feel like she wanted my BF relationship to fail like it had with my younger sister... I prayed that I could used this as fuel to keep trying. It was really hard bc ds was colicky and had issues with lactose and I hadn't figured that out yet.

FTR I am still BFing and its going great... He is 7 months... My mom still suggests that I go get "a bottle" now, bc he is too big and she feels that I have proven my point...


----------



## KAHMama

My in-laws told me babies needed to cry to exercise their lungs. They think we're nuts because ds still doesn't sleep through the night (no doubt due to the fact that we co-slept...hehe), we're heading for the same troubles with dd because we co-sleep with her too...and they don't understand why we are homeschooling. We haven't even told them about not taking dd to WBV LOL. And of course don't talk about our vax beliefs LOL.

It's funny because dh's brother/SIL parents very differently than we do (let's just say they think it's ok for their ds to be a bully because it's better than be bullied)...they parent much closer to what my IL's think is the "right" way and yet, the IL's always say how much nicer my ds is compared to his cousin...

I love my IL's dearly...I know they think we're nuts but we just do our own thing and although we know they don't approve, they also don't really interfere...so it's all good. We try to educate them sometimes but it's pretty much in one ear, out the other ear...


----------



## jennygoat

So my litttle one got some teeth and thought it was fun to nip mom when she got bored with nursing. I ask my friends what to do. My friend with the triple DDDs says "just push her face into your breast, they can't breath and will open the mouth" This from a mom who does not need a sling - she can just carry a baby in her cleavage. And I look down at my pair of bs - I think all that will happen is I'll bonk her head on a rib.
Then another lady says "smack the baby, that will teach 'em not to bite" EEEK! But then I was nursing and almost asleep and she bit, my almost unconscious hand flew to my poor nipple and ended up tapping her cheek pretty hard. She screamed and sure was supprised - but never bit me again.
best wishes - jennygoat


----------



## Kateana

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jennygoat* 
"just push her face into your breast, they can't breath and will open the mouth"

This was recommended in a Sears' book, maybe the Breastfeeding Book? I never have enough time to think it through and actually do something like this. I just yelp really loud (purely reaction), and it makes DD not want to do it again (for awhile anyway).


----------



## Miasmamma

On the line of stupid things, my dad told me that we needed to move DD out of our bed but couldn't give me any reasons why!







I told him that as long as we are nursing there is no way I'd consider it.


----------



## jayayenay

Met a real gem today at the store....I was talking to the checker about traveling with a baby. He told me a story about his long flight to the Philippines during which a baby screamed and wailed "for 10 of the 19 hours." It supposedly stopped crying and went right to sleep when the parents "bought the kid a drink." He proceeds to tell me to make sure when flying to give my one-year-old son gum (!) to help with his ears, and to talk to my doctor when I'm planning a trip to see if there's something I can give the baby to knock him out.

I was so taken aback by all of that that I managed to mutter something about feeding him food, not gum, got my purchase and hightailed it out of there! Of course I thought of a dozen good responses once I left, and was annoyed I didn't set the guy straight.


----------



## PookieMom

I love my grandmother dearly but sometimes the things she'll say really crack me up.
I told her i didn't want to introduce the pacifier to my Pookie2 because we're having problems getting it away from Pookie1 now. She informed me that babies need pacifiers so they learn how to suck.

hmmm......okay grandma. She had 3 kids in 5 years all exclusively breastfed, apparently they new how to suck but babies these days can't figure it out?

Watch out mama's, babies are such disabled in this day and age!


----------



## PookieMom

Oh, i guess i have one more. I don't know how well this relates to the topic but it's still a pretty dumb comment.

"well, your lucky you had a c-section, just look how pretty and round her head is!"







:

Said by all the people who saw her in the nursery before her own mother got to even marvel at the "beautiful round head"







:

some people are really dumb


----------



## Corvus

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jayayenay* 
Met a real gem today at the store....I was talking to the checker about traveling with a baby. He told me a story about his long flight to the Philippines during which a baby screamed and wailed "for 10 of the 19 hours." It supposedly stopped crying and went right to sleep when the parents "bought the kid a drink." He proceeds to tell me to make sure when flying to give my one-year-old son gum (!) to help with his ears, and to talk to my doctor when I'm planning a trip to see if there's something I can give the baby to knock him out.

I was so taken aback by all of that that I managed to mutter something about feeding him food, not gum, got my purchase and hightailed it out of there! Of course I thought of a dozen good responses once I left, and was annoyed I didn't set the guy straight.

"I'm not going to DRUG my child into sleeping. That's abusive," while rolling your eyes and scoffing.


----------



## faerierose

The worst comment I've ever gotten was about a month ago, my toddler has development delays, the Ped. thinks he has autism but we don't have a dx yet. I was discussing this with a friend of mine and he said "Well it's not so bad, if he is autistic you can stick in a room with legos and he'll stay there for hours." I was shocked and had no idea how to respond to that. The last thing I want is to stick him in a room for hours







:


----------



## Lovemybabygirl

I got a good one when I was pregnant - we announced pretty early and a woman at church said, "Wow, well, this is going to be a long pregnancy, what with you telling everyone so soon and all." I said, "No, it's going to be the same length whether you know about it or not."

duh.


----------



## cellarstella

My sis told me that I should have my babe in a hospital because in cambodia or someplace babies had been born at home and had ridiculous crowning and ended up coneheads for life! uh... there are so many things wrong with that statement I think I spent 20 min explaining them to her. Well, now she thinks it's silly too! Some lady had told her that and she passed it on without putting much thought to it.

My lovely little HB baby had some crowning at birth, but 3 days later was getting massive comments on how beautifully round her head is! I always thought those comments were silly, too. I think her head is normal... but then again I don't see a lot of babies. I'm sure most of them round out eventually, though!


----------



## Lovemybabygirl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cellarstella* 
My lovely little HB baby had some crowning at birth, but 3 days later was getting massive comments on how beautifully round her head is! I always thought those comments were silly, too. I think her head is normal... but then again I don't see a lot of babies. I'm sure most of them round out eventually, though!

My baby was engaged for weeks and crowning for at least 30 minutes, so her head was shaped like a coke can, to the point that the nurse warned me about it before he even let me hold her! I was like, "Shush and just let me hold her!!!" Her head is perfect and round as can be now.


----------



## cooltubnoac

My favorite: Is he a good baby? What if I repond "No, he's an asshole!"


----------



## an_aurora

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cooltubnoac* 
My favorite: Is he a good baby? What if I repond "No, he's an asshole!"









I always responded to this by saying "Oh no, we're returning her and getting a better one. I'm pretty sure she's defective."


----------



## rambunctiouscurls

Ok so yesterday, YET another person asked me If I was feeding dd solids. When I said No, not yet, she said, "start already."
Me: "No, the AAP recommends to wait until six months so that's what we are doing"
then we got to talking about what kind of solids I will introduce
"homemade, mashed bananas, avocadoes etc"..
Her: "that will last about a MOnth. why don't you get those cheerio-like stuff from the store"








:


----------



## bandgeek

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mommy2Amira* 
Ok so yesterday, YET another person asked me If I was feeding dd solids. When I said No, not yet, she said, "start already."
Me: "No, the AAP recommends to wait until six months so that's what we are doing"
then we got to talking about what kind of solids I will introduce
"homemade, mashed bananas, avocadoes etc"..
Her: "that will last about a MOnth. why don't you get those cheerio-like stuff from the store"








:









Yes, it's SO much work to press a fork into a banana 4 or 5 times and hand it to your kid. What WILL you do with all your free time once you stop all that nonsense and just hand her cheerios!?







I'm sorry, that one has me laughing.


----------



## jenP

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bandgeek* 







Yes, it's SO much work to press a fork into a banana 4 or 5 times and hand it to your kid. What WILL you do with all your free time once you stop all that nonsense and just hand her cheerios!?







I'm sorry, that one has me laughing.









Ah, yes, people hear "homemade baby food" and picture hours in the kitchen steaming and pureeing and straining, then freezing and thawing to serve; in other words, going to great lengths to mimic jarred baby food. SO not necessary! Just give them some fruit or other food that is already soft, or take some food off your own plate and mash a little. Sure, that would not be appropriate for a baby under six months, but that's the point, they shouldn't be getting any food then ANYWAY. Why go to all the trouble of strained, pureed food when they should just be getting milk (or milk substitute) anyway?
I think it was Alegna here who said "they're ready to eat food when they're, you know, ready to eat FOOD."
So when people think you are martyring yourself to make homemade baby food, just set them straight that you're saving time and money by simply SKIPPING the "babyfood" thing and waiting until baby can eat food.

Jen

and oh, yeah, those "puffs" Gerber has out now are gross.


----------



## jayayenay

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jenP* 
I think it was Alegna here who said "they're ready to eat food when they're, you know, ready to eat FOOD."
So when people think you are martyring yourself to make homemade baby food, just set them straight that you're saving time and money by simply SKIPPING the "babyfood" thing and waiting until baby can eat food.

Preach on!









Seriously, ds loves eating the same food we eat, and always has. (And yes, by "always" I mean "ever since he started tasting solids around 7mo."







)


----------



## PookieMom

babyfood









a little off subject but have you ever read the back of baby food jars? might as well throw some box mac & cheese and a can of spam in a blender and serve 'er up!


----------



## Throkmorton

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mommy2Amira* 
Her: "that will last about a MOnth. why don't you get those cheerio-like stuff from the store"








:

Now, DD loves her organic, preservative-free cheerio-like snacks. They are good for keeping her distracted for 10 minutes. But you know what? They are way more work to deal with than a mashed banana! 3/4 of them end up on the floor, whereas she likes bananas so much that none get wasted.

OMG, you should read the ingredients on baby cereal. My mom was adamant that DD needed cereal (she was 7.5mos at the time) and I just let mom feed her. A bit of mush won't hurt, right? What kind of sick, twisted company put dry milk powder in cereal for 6 mos and up? That was a horrible, nasty experience and has now made her sensitive to all dairy.


----------



## guestmama9911

Quote:


Originally Posted by *faerierose* 
The worst comment I've ever gotten was about a month ago, my toddler has development delays, the Ped. thinks he has autism but we don't have a dx yet. I was discussing this with a friend of mine and he said "Well it's not so bad, if he is autistic you can stick in a room with legos and he'll stay there for hours." I was shocked and had no idea how to respond to that. The last thing I want is to stick him in a room for hours







:


What a heartless


----------



## mamalisa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *linguistmama* 
Oh, I forgot one. In a store once I had my niece in the mei tai since we were watching her for a few hours. Someone said she looked like she was being held hostage!

That's funny, but I'm not sure why.


----------



## 2 in August

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jenP* 
Ah, yes, people hear "homemade baby food" and picture hours in the kitchen steaming and pureeing and straining, then freezing and thawing to serve; in other words, going to great lengths to mimic jarred baby food. SO not necessary! Just give them some fruit or other food that is already soft, or take some food off your own plate and mash a little. Sure, that would not be appropriate for a baby under six months, but that's the point, they shouldn't be getting any food then ANYWAY. Why go to all the trouble of strained, pureed food when they should just be getting milk (or milk substitute) anyway?
I think it was Alegna here who said "they're ready to eat food when they're, you know, ready to eat FOOD."
So when people think you are martyring yourself to make homemade baby food, just set them straight that you're saving time and money by simply SKIPPING the "babyfood" thing and waiting until baby can eat food.

Jen

and oh, yeah, those "puffs" Gerber has out now are gross.

Even when I didn't know better, I never spent hours slaving ver making my own baby food. I just threw veggies in the steamer, then the blender, then the freezer. If I did a different food every other day or so I had plenty of food around. This time I know better and skipping baby food altogether.


----------



## 2 in August

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cooltubnoac* 
My favorite: Is he a good baby? What if I repond "No, he's an asshole!"

My dh replied "No, we've already had to bail him out several times and if he doesn't stop drinking so much I don't know what we're going to do with him."







Funny how nobody in his family asks that one any more.


----------



## halaroo

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mommy2Amira* 
Her: "that will last about a MOnth.








:

I've gotten the same response about making baby food, and about using cloth diapers. "You're going to be doing laundry all the time!". Yeah right - cause it's so hard throwing diapers into the washer and dryer, every 3 or so days!

I was also told that breastfeeding was SO painful. I would be chapped and bleeding, etc. I'm happy to say I've been nursing for 10 months now and never had any pain (except when she's bit me, but she's only done that once)!


----------



## rambunctiouscurls

Quote:


Originally Posted by *halaroo* 
I've gotten the same response about making baby food, and about using cloth diapers. "You're going to be doing laundry all the time!". Yeah right - cause it's so hard throwing diapers into the washer and dryer, every 3 or so days!

I was also told that breastfeeding was SO painful. I would be chapped and bleeding, etc. I'm happy to say I've been nursing for 10 months now and never had any pain (except when she's bit me, but she's only done that once)!

Yeah, this goes along the same lines as the annoying "You will see" comments. My dd spits up a lot so I pretty much do laundry every other day Anyway!
Also, I have been told that I won't breastfeed after she gets teeth. "Wait till she gets teeth" or when I was pg "you will see how you will resort to formula because you might not be able to bf"
and You will see when she turns three you are gonna wanna spank her. It is infuriating!


----------



## Tilia

MIL was trying to feed 10 mo DD soda, so I said, "We don't do sugar, pop or juice." She said, "Is that your rule or the doctors rule?" in a snotty voice. I said it was my rule, but I should have said, "IT'S COMMON SENSE!!!!!"


----------



## Harmony96

Yeah I don't like the "Is (s)he a good baby" question either. I've also answered things like we've caught her smoking in her crib, etc.







Then the asker looks all confused and clarifies "No, I meant is she sleeping through the night?" I answer "yes, she is." But what I REALLY want to say is "Yes, she is... but if she weren't, why would that make her a bad baby?"

Here's another one, not so much bad advice, but a bad generational gap.







When DD was 3 weeks old, we drover her 9 hours to my parents so that they could meet her. Two of my dad's sisters and my dad's mom were also there. My dad's oldest sister was holding DD while she was sucking and chewing on her fist. My aunt said to DD: "that would taste better w/ some peanut butter on it, wouldn't it?"







:

And don't even get me started on how DD is just using me as a pacifier.







During the same visit, DD had a long nursing session but towards the end I could tell she was just comfort nursing. Mom is there with me and said "She's just pacifying herself on you." I said "yeah" in a sortof wistful, loving tone while looking at DD. But Mom is wanting DD to have a "real" pacifier. (PS... no offense to those of you who DO use paci's, DH and I just have decided for now that it's not for us.)

Let's see... what else... nah I think I'm done for now. But as DD grows out of infancy I'm sure I'll have a lot more.







After all, my (non-AP) sisters' babies are older than DD and so they have the right to offer BTDT advice for what "works".







(Except that it's not working...







)


----------



## Lady Lilya

You all gave me a good laugh.

I am only about 3 months pregnant with my first. So far, I have been spared most of these things.

I can only think of some things that struck me as silly:

My MIL says I need 3 cribs....one for home, one for her place, and one for my parents' place.

My SIL asked if I would let them play with the baby. I couldn't believe she needed to ask. I didn't know what to say, so I hesitated. Now I think I might have given the impression that I don't want them to play with the baby. Of course I do!

A friend of mine is adorably concerned that I am not gaining enough weight. I'm fine -- really! Many women have LOST weight up to this point from morning sickness. I'm ahead of the game. He's trying to get my other friends to help him pressure me into doctor visits.

My sister's friend has offered me her used baby clothes (she has had 3 in close succession) for either a boy or a girl. My MIL says NO! -- we have to buy everything new because this is the first baby in the family.

My MIL asks if I will ALLOW my baby to have a pacifier. I'm not sure exactly where this comes from. I think because we eat very healthy foods and stay away from behaviors we don't approve of, she sees us as people who don't believe in doing anything enjoyable. She imagines us denying our baby every simple pleasure. I told her I would see if the baby wanted one.

Now I am going to go back and read more of this thread.

BTW, one of you mentioned being told not to sleep on your back during pregnancy because it would cut off circulation to the uterus. Literature my OB gave me says that too. It said only near the end, the weight of the uterus would put pressure on a certain artery.


----------



## cinnamonamon

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lady Lilya* 
BTW, one of you mentioned being told not to sleep on your back during pregnancy because it would cut off circulation to the uterus. Literature my OB gave me says that too. It said only near the end, the weight of the uterus would put pressure on a certain artery.

My midwife said that if this was happening you would be uncomfortable & would naturally shift your position, so no worries!


----------



## stacyann21

Today ds was throwing a fit and MIL asked me if he is too young for apple juice.

He's 9 WEEKS OLD and wth would apple juice do anyway?







:


----------



## WNB

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lady Lilya* 
...
BTW, one of you mentioned being told not to sleep on your back during pregnancy because it would cut off circulation to the uterus. Literature my OB gave me says that too. It said only near the end, the weight of the uterus would put pressure on a certain artery.

My understanding is that the shift in your body weight tends to increase pressure on the inferior vena cava, which handles all the bloodflow returning from your legs, if you sleep on your back or on the right side. Arteries are much tougher than veins, hence the advice to sleep on your left side (the aorta side), to reduce compression on the comparativley mushy vein. It's not so much about cutting off circulation to the uterus as it is about trying to reduce edema and puffiness in your calves, ankles, and feet.


----------



## grapejuicemama

When DD was just a couple weeks old, I began discreetly nursing her in front of FOB's great-grandmother and she told me that my milk was too rich for DD and that I needed to give her formula.







:

She wasn't even crying.......


----------



## lotusmamma

Quote:


Originally Posted by *its_our_family* 
I was told that letting him stand before 7 months would make him bow legged

LOLOLOLOL My dd1 walked at 7 months and she has gorgous straight legs. My mother told me not to let her - I imagine she thought I should push her over when she stood up? Actually, I admit the thought crossed my mind that it was too early for her bones but of course a baby never walks before they are ready.

Sam in Sydney


----------



## MommyofPunkiePie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mommy2Amira* 
"you will see how you will resort to formula because you might not be able to bf"

At least the word *resort* has a negative connotation in this sentence...


----------



## Ellp

Quote:


Originally Posted by *halaroo* 
I was also told that breastfeeding was SO painful. I would be chapped and bleeding, etc. I'm happy to say I've been nursing for 10 months now and never had any pain (except when she's bit me, but she's only done that once)!

Well for me, I *was* chapped, bleeding and in toe scrunching excrutiating pain each time Dd latched on. I *did* consider formula. For all of 10 seconds. I grunted through it though, and got over it in about 3 weeks. Not everyone is as lucky as you.







:


----------



## halaroo

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ellp* 
Well for me, I *was* chapped, bleeding and in toe scrunching excrutiating pain each time Dd latched on. I *did* consider formula. For all of 10 seconds. I grunted through it though, and got over it in about 3 weeks. Not everyone is as lucky as you.







:

I didn't mean to imply it was easy for everyone. I just felt like people were trying to scare me away from even trying before she was born. All I heard were nursing horror stories and never the positive ones! I'm well aware of how lucky I've been!


----------



## minkajane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *halaroo* 
I didn't mean to imply it was easy for everyone. I just felt like people were trying to scare me away from even trying before she was born. All I heard were nursing horror stories and never the positive ones! I'm well aware of how lucky I've been!

I got the feeling she (the lady that told you the horror story) was under the impression that her experience was NORMAL for breastfeeding, which it most certainly is not! Unfortunately, some people think that breastfeeding is supposed to hurt. I had some nipple tenderness at the beginning and a bit of burning with thrush, but other than that, not a bit of pain with nursing.


----------



## KBug

My sister told me how when her youngest DS was 3 months old, and she had gone back to school p/t and left DS with DH, that DH put DS in the spare room, turned up the TV and let him scream because he couldn't console him... And then she laughed hysterically about how funny this story was. My sister wonders why I don't turn to her for parenting advice because she is more experienced.


----------



## *~Member~*

When I got pregnant with Freja my mother (mother of 7) told me to abort because Children ruined her life and would ruin mine too.

After I had Freja she told me to FORCE my husband to get snipped.

When I told her I was pg with Raeden she sent me info on tubals the whole pg and refused to awknowlege Raeden until just recently. But even then Raeden got no Christmas or Birthday Presents from them.

When I was 1 week PP with Raeden and nursing and got the flu a nurse FREAKED out cause I wasn't supposed to nurse her while I was sick and needed to pump and dump.

When Raeden was at Riley last month getting her endoscopy the nurse told me if I didn't get her vaxinated she would just drop dead one night and we'd think it was SIDS.

When I told my dad I was pg again he goes 'You know what causes that RIGHT?! It's NOT in the water'

My mom has since so far ignored this pregnancy completely


----------



## jayayenay

Ugh, Melissa, I'm sorry.


----------



## *~Member~*

My dad he's excited about this new baby now and told my mom that she needed to sort herself out emotionally and stop taking the fact she's in menopause out on me *snickers*

So I do have some support besides DH. I have got some other doozies I'll post later when the girls are asleep at bedtime


----------



## Wittyone

To the above poster...







wow















to you mama!


----------



## *~Member~*

TY for the hugs. It's nice to get it off my chest. My mother I just don't understand her at all


----------



## *~Member~*

Oh I remember a HUGE one! Also when I was pg with Freja (I was 18 and married) My younger brother had a friend who's mom had only ever adopted kids. She told my mother to tell me that if 'I' wanted she'd adopt my child and 'you can come be her best friend' Needless to say when I had Freja this woman numerous times tried to hold her in stores and I refused she creeped me out


----------



## Harmony96

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Alisteal* 
'I' wanted she'd adopt my child and 'you can come be her best friend' Needless to say when I had Freja this woman numerous times tried to hold her in stores and I refused she creeped me out

Wow. Just, wow.


----------



## Katielady

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Alisteal* 
Oh I remember a HUGE one! Also when I was pg with Freja (I was 18 and married) My younger brother had a friend who's mom had only ever adopted kids. She told my mother to tell me that if 'I' wanted she'd adopt my child and 'you can come be her best friend' Needless to say when I had Freja this woman numerous times tried to hold her in stores and I refused she creeped me out

OMG. Creepy times a thousand. It reminds me of that scene in the Blues Brothes where John Belushi is bugging people at his friend's restaurant and goes up to a family saying, "How much for your children? Your children- I want to buy them."


----------



## triscuitsmom

I havn't made it all the way through the pages (but I will!!!) but I wanted to add a few because I need to vent...

On the subject of complete strangers wanting to hold your baby:

Tobias was about 2 months old and Mom and I were in Walmart and a lady walked up to my Mom and held her arms out to hold the baby... WE DID NOT KNOW HER AT ALL!!!! My Mom just gave her a "you are so crazy" look and walked away and I was having a heart attack right behind her...

Then a couple of weeks ago we were out to eat dinner and our waitress came from behind me and grabbed Tobias out of my arms over my shoulder. I literally started to cry and there were all these people around us going "Oh he likes you so much" and ignoring the fact I was speechless and crying. NEVER AGAIN!!! Next time I will stand up, pitch a fit, grab my son, scream, do whatever I need to do but they will not take my son!!!

Then last night friends of mine were in town and we went out for desert and the waitress comes and puts down my cake and says (to Tobias, who is *just* barely five months) "You can't have that chocolate part but maybe your Mommy will give you whipped cream" I said no, he's too young and she asked what I was feeding him. I said breastmilk only and she remarked that he was really big, said she didn't know that was possible with breastmilk alone. I was so sad at her lack of knowledge but hopefully my knowledge will help her in the future.

I'll be back with more... The second incident still upsets me soooooo much







: but it does help to talk about it.


----------



## MommyofPunkiePie

to Melissa and Alison!


----------



## MommyofPunkiePie

Silly me!







to ALL of the mamas here!!!


----------



## katiedidbug

I cannot believe all of the crazy, ignorant things I've read on this thread!


----------



## JustJamie

When I was 32 weeks pregnant, DH had to go TDY for a week for training in a town 4 hours away. Because I was at risk for pre-term labor, and his TDY was in the same town as the hospital where I would have delivered had I gone into labor early, I went with him for that week.

One day, I went into his classroom with him while he talked to the instructor. I had just met this instructor for the first (and only) time. He asked the typical question "How far are you?", to which I responded, 32 weeks. He acted shocked and said 'Wow, you must have the longest pregnancy in history."

Uh...okay...wasn't due for 2 more months but sure, whatever.


----------



## GradysMom

Worst thing I heard in the Hospital was a lactation consultant told me she preferred screaming babies to teach good latches with because their mouths were wide open







: I got her out of the room as fast as possible.

Also My Mother keeps insisting I give rice cereal - sneak it in a bottle, anything to get him to sleep through the night.

And when I was pregnant and over due I really took issue with how many people said my baby was stubborn for not comming out. What a negative word.

And When we were pregnant - we didn't want to know the sex of the baby and everyone was always asking "what are you having" to which I loved to say "a baby!"

I also have a neighbor who gave up BF her baby becasue her breasts were "too big" and she was afraid he would suffocate







I've got H sized breasts and I assure you that shouldn't be an issue... just get in there and handle your boob, use your thumb to make an airpocket if you must, I do... but geez what a reason to give up!


----------



## Dov'sMom

It's not about child-rearing, but it's my best story from the hospital:

Making my 5 day appointment for a check up and weigh in:

Receptionist: What's the baby's first name?
Me: He doesn't have one - we're not naming him until he's 8 day's old. (Religious thing.)
Receptionist: But I can't make an appointment without a first name!
Me: The doctor wants to see him on Monday, and he won't have a name until Wednesday.







:
Receptionist: But I can't make an appointment without a name!
Me: Fine, put down "Baby Boy."
Receptionist: "How do you spell that?"








Me: b-a-b-y-space-b-o-y
Receptionist. Thank you. (random questions) What's the gender?







:

Another hospital story, not so funny. So DS was nursing like a champ, for three hours at a time, clearly not getting much, but it was a day after he was born. He was perfectly fine just latched on and sucking at his own pace (ten sucks, ten second break, repeat), but as I said, would go for hours. So the second night, one nurse convinced me that because he'd only had two or three wet diapers since birth he was getting dehydrated and needed a bottle. I have read a lot and am generally well informed, but my roommate was already engorged and I showed no signs of it and I hadn't slept more than a few hours in the past five days so I went along with her. I gave him one ounce - 1 ounce! - of formula and he fell asleep. For the next 10 hours he REFUSED to breastfeed. He would latch on, suck for two seconds, realize the milk wasn't rushing into his mouth, and scream for ten minutes. At that point, I knew I couldn't give him another bottle, but it was the hardest thing I had ever had to do to hold him screaming and know that what he wanted was just arms-length away and withhold it from him. By morning he agreed to latch on and suck peacefully again, but by then I was near hys teria. The same nurse told me that as long as my breasts didn't get hard and sore I had no milk. Hah! My breasts NEVER got hard OR sore, and my baby doubled his birth-weight at 10 weeks! I don't think colostrums goes that far&#8230;









Oh, and a pregnancy story. So I'm 39 weeks pregnant and sitting in the lounge area outside my seminar room talking to a professor I'd had years before about how her pregnancy went and my birth plans. A classmate walks up, hears us, and says "Oh, did you just find out you're pregnant?" Uh, no - I'm due a week from tomorrow!

Another funny story from back then. So I went into labor on a Sunday night, but there was a seminar on Monday afternoon that I really wanted to go to because I wanted to write my paper on the article that would be presented then. I figured that once I was going to school, I might as well go for the whole day - take my mind off things, right? I sit through my first class of the day timing contractions, and at the end the professor comes up to me, "So, when are you due?" "Wednesday." "Well, if you can just keep it off until then, that would be great. The most important part of the semester is tomorrow and Wednesday." Great! He didn't know I was in labor, of course, but DS must have heard him, because he didn't come until Wednesday morning - though I certainly wasn't in class on Tuesday! When I went back to school 10 days after giving birth, I didn't make it to this professor's class at first because it was early in the day. He saw me in the hall with DS in a sling and after appropriate cooing sounds told me not to bother coming back because I'd already missed the most important parts! Great way to make me feel good&#8230; He was just trying to be nice, though; he invited me to come back with baby if I wanted "Sure, that's fine with me. He'll be the youngest student I've ever seen at this law school!" (He's been teaching for something like 60 years&#8230

One last happy story: I was telling my husband how nice it is that his mother never tries to give me parenting advice. "Oh," he says, "back in the beginning she gave me some advice." "Really," I ask, "what did she say?" "She said to hold him a lot and give him lots of hugs and pick him up whenever he cries." I love my MIL







.


----------



## stacyann21

I had a friend over and she wanted to take ds for a walk in the stroller. I told her he doesn't really like the stroller and would probably just start crying. To which she replied, "Well you just leave him in there until he gets it. He has to learn to sit in there." My first thought was







and my next thought was, "Please don't have children."


----------



## Dov'sMom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cinnamonamon* 
It's amazing how crazy people think I am when I don't *take* their temperature every time they feel warm. "How do you know how sick they are???!!" Well... I take their other physical symptoms into account & decide if it's important enough for me to fight with them about it (they hate getting their temp taken -- and yes, we have an "instant" thermometer). It's amazing...ds2 survived a temp just last week! *gasps*









I asked my doctor for help figuring out how to take a rectal temperature, because the one time I tried DS squirmed and wriggled so much that I had to take it three times and got three different results. He said "Don't bother. The temperature doesn't tell you anything at all. People say you need to know the temperature to know if there's a dangerous infection; let me tell you, you don't! You go to the ER, there are two ways to find out if your baby has an infection. One is the temperature + blood test. The results of the temperature + blood test are about 30% accurate. You want me to improve on 30% accurate? Here, I've got one! It's round and has a picture of Abraham Lincoln on it. That'll give you fifty percent. Until they come up with a test that beats Ole Abe, I don't bother with it. The other way? It's called the good doctor test. The good doctor looks at your baby and says either "This baby is fine" or "This baby is sick." If you have a good doctor, his results can be close to 100% accurate. Now _that_ I'll go by!"

Then he said, "By the way, you don't need the good doctor. Good mothers can do it too."









Did I mention that I love my doctor? I was first going to a different doctor, one I'd picked because when I asked her about vaxing she said she'd be okay if I didn't, but she would give me some literature to try change my mind. Her "literature," by the way, consisted of CDC one-pagers! She had an accident just before my 2-month visit, and I had some follow-up questions from a recent hospitalization, so I had to find a doctor in a rush and ended up with this one without doing any research. I was a little afraid to bring up the vaxing question, but at the end of the visit he did. "So, do you want me to give your baby a bunch of shots? Personally, I don't think there's a point, but most parents nowadays insist."

My other doc had also put us on vitamin drops. I told the new doc I was giving them whenever I remembered, like once a week, because I didn't think he really needed them. "Vitamins? For a breastfed baby? Well, maybe if you were black and lived in Scotland in a house with no windows and you never went outside I would think about giving him vitamin D supplements, but otherwise, why bother?"


----------



## jenP

Dov's Mom, I want your doctor!! Is she intact-knowledgeable, too?

Jen


----------



## Shenjall

Quote:

You want me to improve on 30% accurate? Here, I've got one! It's round and has a picture of Abraham Lincoln on it. That'll give you fifty percent. Until they come up with a test that beats Ole Abe, I don't bother with it.
I dont know what that means.







Would you mind enlightening me?


----------



## Lady Lilya

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shenjall* 
I dont know what that means.







Would you mind enlightening me?









It means flipping a coin (in this case a penny).

The idea is that the temperature and blood test method is less effective than random chance of flipping a coin.


----------



## Shenjall

I feel stupid.







In my defense, I'm canadian and not familiar with who is on the U.S. penny.


----------



## ramlita

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dov'sMom* 
It's not about child-rearing, but it's my best story from the hospital:

Making my 5 day appointment for a check up and weigh in:

Receptionist: What's the baby's first name?
Me: He doesn't have one - we're not naming him until he's 8 day's old. (Religious thing.)
Receptionist: But I can't make an appointment without a first name!
Me: The doctor wants to see him on Monday, and he won't have a name until Wednesday.







:
Receptionist: But I can't make an appointment without a name!
Me: Fine, put down "Baby Boy."
Receptionist: "How do you spell that?"








Me: b-a-b-y-space-b-o-y
Receptionist. Thank you. (random questions) What's the gender?







:
















:









Thanks, Dov's mom, for sharing your ped's view of fevers!








I love hearing about doctors with common sense








they seem all too rare these days.


----------



## Corvus

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dov'sMom* 
Did I mention that I love my doctor? I was first going to a different doctor, one I'd picked because when I asked her about vaxing she said she'd be okay if I didn't, but she would give me some literature to try change my mind. Her "literature," by the way, consisted of CDC one-pagers!

I'm quite certain that medical professionals are REQUIRED to give you the CDC handouts on each vaccine.


----------



## Dov'sMom

Oh, I didn't mind getting them, I just thouhjt it was funny that I told her I had done my research and didn't plan to vax for at least a while and she said she had "literature" that would change my mind when that was all she had. I mean, how much research could I have done if I hadn't read those already?


----------



## mommytomahmoud

lol ok some people can be soo uneducated

but i had a few myself

when i was pregnant we have a cat and my husbands family who i love dearly and they live in lebanon acually said cat hair causes miscarrages and we need to get rid of the cat yes i said cat hair lol when he told me that i laughed soo hard i almost peed my self and i told him dont worry it is not cat hair it is the cat box and he was already taking care of that

even a few of his friends kept telling him that cat hair causes miscarrages and when they found out we never got rid of out cat and we had the baby they said our cat would smoother the baby cause of the smell of milk yeah my cat he wont even look at the baby he is soo scared never had a problem and my son is 6 months

guess that cat hair didnt cause a miscarrage either hehehehehehe my come back was that is the stupiest thing i ever heard

if u have a craving say for pineapple and u dont eat it than the baby will be born with a birthmark in the shape of a pineapple lol i just laughted at my friend who told me that told her yeah sure my son will have a birthmark int he shape of a pine apple whatever

and a pregnant perosn cant see food without wanting to eat it they have to eat all food they see ohh ok

here is one from my dad breastfeeding is too much work formula feeding is easier yeah fixing a bottle is faster and easier than putting ur boob in ur babys mouth and lets not forget the night feedings where breastfeeding i dont even have to get out of bed but hey formula is easier hahahahahaahah

another one from my parents smoking will not hurt the baby yeah well if u wnat to smoke u wont hold my son or be around him and well i smoked when i were a baby and yeah but i also rember my nose and thoat buring cause of the smell and not being able to run that long cause my lungs hurt but hey it is ok right and it is also ok that u r on oxgyen 24/7 all cause of smoking and u want my son to be around it too right

feeding soilds people ask me if my son is eating soilds and i said noo cause he is not ready and they said well than we wont learn to eat real food when he is older yeah ohh ok that is stupided like my breast milk is not real foood

he is drowling he must be teething noo he just have not learned to swollen his spit yet ask a denist they will tell u babys drowl cause they have not learned to swollen their own spit btw hes been drowling sence he was 1 month old

how long do u plain to breastfed? well i dont know but he just got on soo maybe for 20 mins depending how long he wants too

why r u co sleeping that is crazy u will never get him out of ur bed i say that is ok i sleep better with him cuddled up next to me

ohh u co sleep u should not do that how will u and ur hubby have x rated time well we have other rooms in our home besides that kinda mixes things up a bit hehehehe

cio u should not go to him every time he crys cause u r setting bad habits really letting my son know that iam here for him is a bad habit ohh ok and that doesnt sound dumb what u just said

or if u dont let him cio that it will be harder on u later on ohh ok soo teaching my son that mommy wont be their for them when they need u is ok

my dad asked me how long i plain to breastfed for i said 2yrs maybe longer who knows and he said at 2 yrs old they should be eating hambugars hotdogs bugar king and i said yeah soo teaching my son to eat junk is ok and he said well u ate that when u were 2 and u tured out ohh ok and i said yeah and iam over weight and had to teach my self to eat proper and work on my weight soo teaching my son it is ok to be over weight and it is ok to eat junk is ok right than he said well sence u put it that way i guess u r right but when he is with me i will take him to eat a hambugar yeah i dont think soo cause he will never be with u unless iam their cause of that

ok well i think iam done hehehehehehe

ayah


----------



## PookieMom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GradysMom* 

And When we were pregnant - we didn't want to know the sex of the baby and everyone was always asking "what are you having" to which I loved to say "a baby!"


I had to answer that question ALL the time too! I had very vivid dreams with both pregnancys that after endlessly answering that question i started having dreams about having kittens, puppies, a rabbit or two.....







The only thing i was concerned about in my dreams were that they just couldn't seem to latch on right....


----------



## Minerva

Quote:


Originally Posted by *stacyann21* 
I had a friend over and she wanted to take ds for a walk in the stroller. I told her he doesn't really like the stroller and would probably just start crying. To which she replied, "Well you just leave him in there until he gets it. He has to learn to sit in there." My first thought was







and my next thought was, "Please don't have children."

I've gotten that one from both my mother and an unhelpful sales clerk while we were shopping for a snowsuit that would fit into the mei tai. We didn't even have a stroller with us, so of course the clerk says we need to run right out and buy one since they don't sell snowsuits that will fit into "that harness" (the correct answer, of course, would have been "since you don't have a snowsuit that fits her, you'll just have to wrap her up well"). And if I don't let her sit until the stroller and scream until my ears bleed, I'm "not going to last long" as a parent.







:

Gee, do you suppose someone there might have parenting insecurities?


----------



## catnip

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PookieMom* 
I had to answer that question ALL the time too! I had very vivid dreams with both pregnancys that after endlessly answering that question i started having dreams about having kittens, puppies, a rabbit or two.....







The only thing i was concerned about in my dreams were that they just couldn't seem to latch on right....

I had a more than a few dreams about haing kittens that couldn't latch, too.


----------



## PookieMom




----------



## In Exile

I am almost 37 weeks and people keep commenting how tiny my baby must since I am not "showing" a lot. "Well, let's hope it is not a reaaally sick baby." Gee, thanks.
By the way I am almost 1,80 (don't know what that is- over 5'11?), so my belly kind of fits in my statue- but people LOVE to assume a "sick and small baby".







:

People also react almost insulted when I we reply to the "what are you having" question with- "well, it's not a cat". Hubby and I keep joking how there were no whiskers on the ultrasound- since I am veeeery close to one of the cats. People just gasp at this point. We call our little one "Bobblehead" and of the the hallmark-addicted women actually was not sure if you can call your little one by that name. God, what is it- just because I am not decking everything out in pink or blue??

Same goes with names- people are actually INSULTED that you are not willing to discuss any of that. Somebody actually was wondering how it was possible to even prepare for your baby without knowing the gender- HOW difficult can it be??


----------



## mommytomahmoud

Quote:


Originally Posted by *catnip* 
I had a more than a few dreams about haing kittens that couldn't latch, too.

lol i had a lot of dreams about my cat one i gave birth to him and me and hubby couldnt be happier we were soo proud of our baby kitty hehehehe

another i was trying to breastfeed my new baby kitty i just gave birth too and i was soo upset that he wouldnt nurse heheheheheh

ayah


----------



## pookel

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dov'sMom* 
My other doc had also put us on vitamin drops. I told the new doc I was giving them whenever I remembered, like once a week, because I didn't think he really needed them. "Vitamins? For a breastfed baby? Well, maybe if you were black and lived in Scotland in a house with no windows and you never went outside I would think about giving him vitamin D supplements, but otherwise, why bother?"

I want your doctor!!

Also, I wanted to post and say I like your son's name. My uncle, who died young of cancer, was also named Dov, and I've never known anyone else named that. He did suffer through a lifetime of getting mail addressed to "Miss Dove [lastname]," but I guess that's not the end of the world.


----------



## mom2jasper

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommytomahmoud* 
lol i had a lot of dreams about my cat one i gave birth to him and me and hubby couldnt be happier we were soo proud of our baby kitty hehehehe

another i was trying to breastfeed my new baby kitty i just gave birth too and i was soo upset that he wouldnt nurse heheheheheh

ayah

Very strange. I too had a dream when I was pregnant that I was nursing a kitten. It hurt at first but we got there in the end (much like my human baby son who arrive a few months later!


----------



## Lady Lilya

I'm expecting my first in August.

I went to one OB visit yesterday. She freaked out on me when I said I didn't want all the testing. I told her that I didn't need the blood tests, since I already knew all the answers (blood type, immunities, no STDs, no genetic defects, etc). She said that even if she believed me, the hospital wouldn't take my word for it, and when I gave birth in the hospital without all those test results in my file, they were going to quarantine the baby immediately after birth.

So, I said I was going to have the baby at home. Then she REALLY freaked out. "HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO SAFELY GIVE BIRTH WITHOUT ALL THE EQUIPMENT IN A HOSPITAL." I told her midwives have equipment, like to monitor the baby during the birth. I told her 10% of women are doing homebirths these days. "YEAH, IN 3RD WORLD COUNTRIES." And I told her that I have spoken to hundreds of women in the US and Europe who have done it with no problems even local women in NYC and Brooklyn and NJ. "BUT WHAT ABOUT THE VITAMIN K SHOT THE BABY NEEDS." I told her they can give those shots and sew the mother if she tears, etc. "YEAH, RIGHT. YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO FIND A MIDWIFE TO DO IT." I said I found one I really liked, but she won't be around in August, so I got recommendations for 2 more with plenty of rave reviews.

She said "when you find one, have her call me so we can discuss how to handle your situation." I said there is no situation. I told her that I understand that from a medical point of view the patient must have a condition that needs treatment, and it is all a matter of finding it.

She was really upset that I was giving her no way to determine if anything could be wrong. I said my 2 urine tests (i had one 3 weeks earlier, but the doctor had to run to a birth so we had to reschedule) and blood pressure and everything was perfect. I have never had a medical problem or procedure (beyond a cold or a tooth extraction), I have no risk factors and no history of ANY complications or birth defects in my family or my husband's) I consented to a sonogram on the condition she kept it under 10 seconds (I have concerns about their safety when used frequently) and with the agreement that she wouldn't get any others. Of course, everything she could see showed no signs of a problem.

I know most of you will say "why did you even go to an OB?"

a) My parents and in-laws are really anal about this because it is the first baby in the family on either side. I needed them to feel like I was doing all the things they believe are best, just to spare myself the stress of them freaking out and stopping supporting my other alternative ideas. I want their help and support. They will only trust my judgment so far if I don't go through the motions of what they consider to be proper prenatal care.

b) I wanted an OB and hospital as a backup in case of emergency. I've read somewhere that this is required if you have a planned homebirth in NY State. Whether or not it is required, it didn't seem like a bad idea.

c) I wanted to use her as a consultant -- to be able to ask her questions. This role she filled well. She discussed my nutritional supplements and the possibility of different forms of vitamins being safer than others.


----------



## Tilia

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lady Lilya* 
I'm expecting my first in August.

I went to one OB visit yesterday. She freaked out on me when I said I didn't want all the testing. I told her that I didn't need the blood tests, since I already knew all the answers (blood type, immunities, no STDs, no genetic defects, etc). She said that even if she believed me, the hospital wouldn't take my word for it, and when I gave birth in the hospital without all those test results in my file, they were going to quarantine the baby immediately after birth.

So, I said I was going to have the baby at home. Then she REALLY freaked out. "HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO SAFELY GIVE BIRTH WITHOUT ALL THE EQUIPMENT IN A HOSPITAL." I told her midwives have equipment, like to monitor the baby during the birth. I told her 10% of women are doing homebirths these days. "YEAH, IN 3RD WORLD COUNTRIES." And I told her that I have spoken to hundreds of women in the US and Europe who have done it with no problems even local women in NYC and Brooklyn and NJ. "BUT WHAT ABOUT THE VITAMIN K SHOT THE BABY NEEDS." I told her they can give those shots and sew the mother if she tears, etc. "YEAH, RIGHT. YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO FIND A MIDWIFE TO DO IT." I said I found one I really liked, but she won't be around in August, so I got recommendations for 2 more with plenty of rave reviews.

She said "when you find one, have her call me so we can discuss how to handle your situation." I said there is no situation. I told her that I understand that from a medical point of view the patient must have a condition that needs treatment, and it is all a matter of finding it.

She was really upset that I was giving her no way to determine if anything could be wrong. I said my 2 urine tests (i had one 3 weeks earlier, but the doctor had to run to a birth so we had to reschedule) and blood pressure and everything was perfect. I have never had a medical problem or procedure (beyond a cold or a tooth extraction), I have no risk factors and no history of ANY complications or birth defects in my family or my husband's) I consented to a sonogram on the condition she kept it under 10 seconds (I have concerns about their safety when used frequently) and with the agreement that she wouldn't get any others. Of course, everything she could see showed no signs of a problem.

I know most of you will say "why did you even go to an OB?"

a) My parents and in-laws are really anal about this because it is the first baby in the family on either side. I needed them to feel like I was doing all the things they believe are best, just to spare myself the stress of them freaking out and stopping supporting my other alternative ideas. I want their help and support. They will only trust my judgment so far if I don't go through the motions of what they consider to be proper prenatal care.

b) I wanted an OB and hospital as a backup in case of emergency. I've read somewhere that this is required if you have a planned homebirth in NY State. Whether or not it is required, it didn't seem like a bad idea.

c) I wanted to use her as a consultant -- to be able to ask her questions. This role she filled well. She discussed my nutritional supplements and the possibility of different forms of vitamins being safer than others.

Oh brother! Only in third world countries??? Come on!


----------



## ThreeBeans

Your OB sounds unusually ill informed.







:


----------



## Lohagrace

i had my dd in a sling in an airport when she was 2 months old. she was a very strong baby and could always hold her head up. anyway, she was in the vertical position in her sling and was kind of awake/resting with her head cocked to one side. this older lady walked up and barked at me "HOLD THAT BABY'S HEAD UP!" and walked away leaving me stunned and speechless. its not like my baby was crying or showing discomfort of any kind. in fact, she was very content. she didn't make a peep on the 6 hour flight! but people, especially of the older generations, seem to think they need to give us advice or something. my DH (and the rest of my family) still say "hold that baby's head up!" when we are joking about unwanted advice.
once my grandma said to me, when dd was 6 months old, "that baby sure gets held a lot." WTF? i guess i should neglect her more! thanks for the advice, grandma!
when my dd was 2 months old, my grandma's husband asked if she'd like some raspberries! how can people be THAT ignorant.
oh, one last one. i was walking from my car to the doctor's office with my newborn son and he was in his carseat asleep. it has this little snap-on cover on it, and one side had come unsnapped and so it was dangling on the ground and i was walking and didn't notice it. anyway, this old lady walking by goes "you're going to lose that baby!" like, he wasn't strapped in with a 5 point harness! yes, this little cover thing is the ONLY thing holding my baby in this carseat. sheesh!
so, we can make a comment back or just ignore people. i find myself unable to think of witty comments at the time, so i usually just ignore. a friend of mine with real brass ones was on a plane once nursing her toddler and a man walking by said "that's disgusing!" and she just looked at him and said "you're fat, and i don't see anyone commenting on that." all matter of fact! wow. i don't have the courage to say something, although it would be tempting.


----------



## Harmony96

Quote:

i don't have the courage to say something, although it would be tempting.
Oh I know! I could fill up a WHOLE big thread about combacks I wish I could say. Not just about parenting, but about anything in general. Hmmm maybe one of these days I should start a thread like that in TAO.









Ok hmm better get this back on topic before I post... Oh when DH and I told my mom (before we were even trying to get pregnant) that we planned to cloth diaper, she was like "we'll see how long THAT will last." But now that I'm doing it, it's just another load of laundry, really. And even people who disposable diaper have a bunch of laundry w/ a new baby, anyway, right?


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lady Lilya* 
I know most of you will say "why did you even go to an OB?"

Actually, I was waiting for the part of the post where you found a different OB to be your backup.


----------



## AnnieMarie

We live in what by many is considered to be a third world coutnry, though our private medical care is very much first world. I went through two OB's, before I finally put my foot down and told DH we would be HBing with a midwife and went to my small town GP as a back-up. He does deliveries and surgery from a 3rd world state hospital which is BF and kangaroo care friendly and IMHO far better than the pvt care, anyhow before I get too off topic... I had an OB tell me that he did not belive that I would manage natural labour without pain meds - this was my second child - the first was born at home - naturally. In his opinion women are just not capable of having natural birth and should have c-sections.







: I am glad to say that I twisted DH's arm and we got our HB even though we live on a farm 'in the middle of nowhere'


----------



## awinkler

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MelissaEvans* 
I've heard this one too. I guess I'm kinda lucky in a way since DS hasn't started using words yet (20mo). I guess people think they should punish a child for learning new skills - these are the same people who don't recognize that by nuzzling, rooting, crying, sucking on fists, and so forth, a baby *is* asking to nurse. Just because a child can't speak, doesn't mean s/he can't communicate. DS pats my chest to tell me he wants to nurse; he knocks on the door to tell me he wants to go outside to play; he hugs and kisses me to tell me he loves me.

YES! I agree!!! Communication has lots of forms. My DS is almost 8 mo old, and when we're sitting on the floor playing, he'll turn towards me, and bury his head in my chest. Subtle


----------



## BunchaCrunch

My family are all very mainstream and practically worship doctors, so the fact that I was using a midwife during my pregnancy did not sit well with any of them. Throughout my entire pregnancy, I had to deal with all sorts of snarky remarks, but several things said to me following my daughter's birth were very ridiculous.

My daughter was born four weeks early and despite the fact that she was thankfully quite large and very healthy for her gestational age, my mother had the nerve to tell everybody she knew that my daughter was born early due to my having used a midwife. She even had the nerve to go on & on about how "shocked and appalled" she was that my midwife was "allowed" to "deliever" my baby considering she was "very premature". She kept insisting that she had heard of many babies who died at the hands of midwives from being born too early. *head meets desk* I told her that their are studies that prove contrary and even pointed out that obs are not trained in vaginal birth, but are actually surgeons, so if anything they would be the ones to "kill my baby", but she told me I was just being unreasonable and ignorant.









My daughter was found to have a small heart murmur when she was first born. Her pediatrician did not think it was serious, but were sent us to a pediatric cardiologist just to be sure. The cardiologist confirmed what the ped had thought and when I called my parents to tell them the news, they proceeded to tell me how this "terrible defect" was my fault for using a midwife rather than a doctor and keep referencing how her heart murmur is result of her prematurity, which is not the case. I have explained to them that a heart murmur is just something that can happen regardless of when a baby is born, prenatal care, and everything else, but they will not hear of it. They keep telling everybody they know about her heart murmur, despite the fact that it can no longer be heard and is not a cause of concern with her ped!

Not only are my family anti-midwife, but they are also non-breastfeeders and are very hostile towards breastfeeding. When my parents came to visit right after my daughter's birth, we were experiencing some nursing problems and I was pumping to both nourish my daughter and protect my milk supply while we worked with a great LC on correcting the issue. During their visit, my mother kept making comments about how I must feel like a cow and how she would never do THAT with formula being so much easier. She even attempted to talk me into using formula rather than continuing pumping and insisted that formula was "just as healthy, if not moreso" than breastmilk.

After our nursing issues were finally resolved, I had another visit with my parents in which I was expected to nurse my baby in a spare bedroom at their home, along with putting a blanket over her head so nobody would "see anything". As if this hostility were not bad enough, my mom kept making comments about how awful it must be to have to do THAT so long and how I must wish nursing my little girl was as easy as "pumping gas into a car".

I am sadly sure that more stories will come about as time goes on, but these are just a few of the worst so far.


----------



## BunchaCrunch

I forgot about this gem.

When I first told my mother that I was pregnant, she asked me what my doctor said when they realized my age.







: I have no idea what she meant by that! I am twenty one, have been married for two years, and my husband and I support ourselves so what on earth could the issue be??







:


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## ramlita

Oh, man, Buncha.









How old was your mom when she had _her_ first??


----------



## beanbean

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BunchaCrunch* 
My daughter was born four weeks early and despite the fact that she was thankfully quite large and very healthy for her gestational age, my mother had the nerve to tell everybody she knew that my daughter was born early due to my having used a midwife. She even had the nerve to go on & on about how "shocked and appalled" she was that my midwife was "allowed" to "deliever" my baby considering she was "very premature". She kept insisting that she had heard of many babies who died at the hands of midwives from being born too early. *head meets desk* I told her that their are studies that prove contrary and even pointed out that obs are not trained in vaginal birth, but are actually surgeons, so if anything they would be the ones to "kill my baby", but she told me I was just being unreasonable and ignorant.









My daughter was found to have a small heart murmur when she was first born. Her pediatrician did not think it was serious, but were sent us to a pediatric cardiologist just to be sure. The cardiologist confirmed what the ped had thought and when I called my parents to tell them the news, they proceeded to tell me how this "terrible defect" was my fault for using a midwife rather than a doctor and keep referencing how her heart murmur is result of her prematurity, which is not the case. I have explained to them that a heart murmur is just something that can happen regardless of when a baby is born, prenatal care, and everything else, but they will not hear of it. They keep telling everybody they know about her heart murmur, despite the fact that it can no longer be heard and is not a cause of concern with her ped!

I told this to my DH and he commented that he would have said, "Get out of my house now and don't contact us until you're ready to apologize." And DH is a very tactful, thoughtful guy.

Hon, your family is not "mainstream" - they're a bit insane.


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## cellarstella

What does that even mean, "you're not going to last long as a parent" ? What, I'm going to keel over and die because I carry my kid a lot? Sounds like we know a lot of people affected with severe cases of not-thinking-before-speaking.


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## Lady Lilya

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Lady Lilya*
I know most of you will say "why did you even go to an OB?"
Actually, I was waiting for the part of the post where you found a different OB to be your backup.

At this point, I can't stomach the idea of going to another one!

I really liked her assistant. I hope I get more chances to talk to her. She is training to be a midwife.

Well, my insurance plan changes in June. Perhaps at that time, when the network changes, I will feel up to another search.

At the time I made the appointment, I hadn't found this website yet. Next time, I am getting recommendations from my tribe.


----------



## jayayenay

Just got back from a walk with dh and ds (who was on my back in the ergo, wearing a long-sleeved shirt, sweater, pants, babylegs, socks, and shooshoos). It's probably in the low 50s out, overcast but dry. A little chilly, but a nice temperature for an evening walk. We passed a woman walking 2 dogs, and she shivered and said, "Ooh, it's so nasty out! Why doesn't he (ds) have a hat?" I couldn't even answer her, because she kept blabbering about how she's sick and she had to walk the dogs but it's so awful out here and she hopes it (the beautiful weather?) ends soon. When she stopped talking, I told her she should put on a hat.


----------



## turnipmama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AnnieMarie* 
We live in what by many is considered to be a third world coutnry, though our private medical care is very much first world. I went through two OB's, before I finally put my foot down and told DH we would be HBing with a midwife and went to my small town GP as a back-up. He does deliveries and surgery from a 3rd world state hospital which is BF and kangaroo care friendly and IMHO far better than the pvt care, anyhow before I get too off topic... I had an OB tell me that he did not belive that I would manage natural labour without pain meds - this was my second child - the first was born at home - naturally. In his opinion women are just not capable of having natural birth and should have c-sections.







: I am glad to say that I twisted DH's arm and we got our HB even though we live on a farm 'in the middle of nowhere'

What on earth did he think women did before modern medicine??!!


----------



## Lohagrace

Oh, i remember another time a friend and i did a circus protest with our babies on our backs. it was chilly, but they were wrapped up pretty well. its not like babies have a hard time telling you when they are not happy!! anyway, several strangers were like "those poor babies, you're protesting the elephants having to do the circus, but those babies don't have a choice about being on your back out here." comments to that effect







: yeah, babies HATE to be worn on their mother's backs. its like baby slavery what we are doing!







i guess i should ask my 6 month old what her choice is. i guess they think it would have been better if they had been in a stroller or playpen or something.


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## Kateana

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lady Lilya* 
At this point, I can't stomach the idea of going to another one!

I really liked her assistant. I hope I get more chances to talk to her. She is training to be a midwife.

Well, my insurance plan changes in June. Perhaps at that time, when the network changes, I will feel up to another search.

At the time I made the appointment, I hadn't found this website yet. Next time, I am getting recommendations from my tribe.

Maybe your midwife has a backup that she works with? Or one that her other clients can refer you to? At least, that would be a place to start, so you don't have to start at zero... Good luck on your search!!


----------



## AnnieMarie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *turnipmama* 
What on earth did he think women did before modern medicine??!!

LOL - Yeah, it's a wonder the human race isn't extinct seeing that he hasn't been around all through the ages to perform c-sections!!







: The really scary thing is that women around here think he is a great OB, great big idiot if you ask me... He also insists on doing u/s every month and said I shouldn't bother coming to see him if I didn't want this as he would not be able to tell if there was something wrong







he is definitely old enough to have qualified long before u/s existed, guess he must have skipped the part about doing pre-natal checks when he was studying. I would bet on it he was one of those dr's who used to x-ray for pre-natal checking when that was still the in thing to do. Needless to say I told him if that was his attitude that I wouldn't bother coming to see him







:


----------



## phoebemommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lohagrace* 
i had my dd in a sling in an airport when she was 2 months old. she was a very strong baby and could always hold her head up. anyway, she was in the vertical position in her sling and was kind of awake/resting with her head cocked to one side. this older lady walked up and barked at me "HOLD THAT BABY'S HEAD UP!" and walked away leaving me stunned and speechless. its not like my baby was crying or showing discomfort of any kind. in fact, she was very content. she didn't make a peep on the 6 hour flight! but people, especially of the older generations, seem to think they need to give us advice or something. my DH (and the rest of my family) still say "hold that baby's head up!" when we are joking about unwanted advice.
once my grandma said to me, when dd was 6 months old, "that baby sure gets held a lot." WTF? i guess i should neglect her more! thanks for the advice, grandma!

This reminds me of my Christmas; ds was 3 months. There were plenty of crazy things said, but I swear I had to explain to about six different people every time ds went to sleep that no, thank you, I don't need to put him down. Sometimes I do put him down when he's asleep (sometimes not), but I was so harrassed by so many people wanting to hold him and coochie coo at him that I claimed his naptime as my time with him. They also got all concerned because he likes to nap in my arms with his head cocked off to the side at a sharp angle. He could hold his head up at like 2 weeks, so it wasn't as though I was just letting it roll around or anything. It was totally his position in the womb, and he'd put himself back that way if I tried to rearrange him. But by the looks on my inlaws' faces, you'd think I was the most idiotic mother in the world.


----------



## phoebemommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Harmony96* 

Ok hmm better get this back on topic before I post... Oh when DH and I told my mom (before we were even trying to get pregnant) that we planned to cloth diaper, she was like "we'll see how long THAT will last." But now that I'm doing it, it's just another load of laundry, really. And even people who disposable diaper have a bunch of laundry w/ a new baby, anyway, right?









I heard a lady at a baby shower talking about cloth diapering. She said she had a diaper service for a couple weeks and found it overwhelmingly difficult, the whole process of putting the diapers outside to be picked up, then bringing the fresh ones in. That's why she went disposable. Fair enough, I guess, but I would find the process of taking that much more garbage out, then bringing that many more groceries (diapers) in equally as taxing. It's so much easier that my diaper bin is just steps away from the washing machine!

Oh yeah, and my MIL was all determined that she'd better pay for diaper service for us. She really tried to pressure me into it. She couldn't fathom that I was LOOKING FORWARD to doing diaper laundry. I guess I'm just weird that way.


----------



## Meg Murry.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GradysMom* 

And when I was pregnant and over due I really took issue with how many people said my baby was stubborn for not comming out. What a negative word.


Thought you'd like this poem from Donald Justice:

_To a Ten-months' child

Late arrival, no
One would think of blaming you
For hesitating so.

Who, setting his hand to knock
At a door so strange as this one,
Might not draw back ?_


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## davi

so, i LOVE when people tell me their "why i couldn't nurse" stories! then i tell mine: i nursed 1st dd till she weaned at about 2 years old (which usually causes







in itself) i have had more challenges this time around though, i only nurse with one breast & have had mastitis twice, thrush & can't nurse on the other side as i have had to have 2 surgeries for abcesses post-partum. that REALLY gets the jaws droppin'!!







almost everyone who hears my story says "i didnt know you could nurse with only one breast"







or my favorite "whatever caused your breast infection is going to get into the baby" my babe is only 5 months old & OF COURSE people are always trying to cram food into her...i have heard on several occassions that she's never going to learn to eat & (this from my mom) "why are you trying to be some kind of martyr type super-mom keeping on with this BF stuff & not letting her have food?"...ummmmmmmm WHAT? when i was REALLY struggling with my supply after surgery my mom came over to "help" & kept trying to take Lilly out of our bed to "give her a bottle already"...she got kicked out & my DH walked in the door to see me throwing my mom out. he got back in the car & picked me up some roses







oooh & when people hear we did natural childbirtyh AND co-sleep....lord, the list goes on!!!


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## BunchaCrunch

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ramlita* 
Oh, man, Buncha.









How old was your mom when she had _her_ first??

Amazingly, she was only twenty five herself.


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## BunchaCrunch

Quote:


Originally Posted by *beanbean* 
I told this to my DH and he commented that he would have said, "Get out of my house now and don't contact us until you're ready to apologize." And DH is a very tactful, thoughtful guy.

Hon, your family is not "mainstream" - they're a bit insane.









If my husband had not been at work when my parent's little display went down, I am sure we would no longer be receiving phone calls from them now  I did not even know what to say, but rather stood there with my mouth about to hit the floor. Who says things like that?!


----------



## Momtwice

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lady Lilya* 

My MIL asks if I will ALLOW my baby to have a pacifier. I'm not sure exactly where this comes from.

Depends on the generation. At one time pacifiers were considered too indulgent. Nowadays people avoid them if they are breastfeeding (some people) because they can interfere with latch/milk supply etc.


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## mntnmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lohagrace* 
a friend of mine with real brass ones was on a plane once nursing her toddler and a man walking by said "that's disgusing!" and she just looked at him and said "you're fat, and i don't see anyone commenting on that." all matter of fact! wow. i don't have the courage to say something, although it would be tempting.

I've never had anyone say anything about me breastfeeding, but WOW! I wish I had a pair of "brass ones" like her!!!


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## libranbutterfly

My parents are by far the worst about the "dumb" comments. (They are firmly set that what they did w/ me is right, even though they have mellowed out big time with my little brother) Some of their most recent gems of wisdom: If she wants to eat that often, I would definately give her some cereal. (Dad about my 4 month old, after I explained that she cluster feeds in the evenings) I don't know why you're bothering with cloth diapers, it's not like she will remember how comfortable she was at this age (Mom, even though they used cloth diapers with me) You need to break that habit soon, its really not healthy (Mom, after I told her how nice it was to wake up with my 2 beautiful children in bed with me)

And one from my MIL and her brother. Not directed toward me, but sad. Backstory: A 2 yr old boy has a mom that doesnt care about him, only his big sister (would take him out in winter in just a dipe, sister had 3 pairs of winter boots, etc) my MIL's sister offers to take care of boy, mom gratiously accepts. 2 yr old boy spits at people and laughs, runs away, etc. "Brittany broke Bill's glasses today so he wouldn't spank Ethan. Bill loves Ethan, not like Teresa's (MIL's sis) kids (Brittany is one of these) He'd ony spank Ethan if he deserved it" I couldn't help blurting out "Ethan did not need a spanking, he just needed more love and attention. after being passed around to whoever would watch him for 2 years, he's trying to see if you all really love him. How would you feel if you were him?"


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## libranbutterfly

One more I just thought of. My MIL's SIL (what does that make her to me?) brought her grandkids up to visit one weekend. I went out to help her get the kids out of the car, and she had the 6 month olds carrier car seat in the back seat, facing forwards, with the handle up and the seatbelt going across right infront of the handle (3 inches from babies face) and his 3 yr old sis in a backless booster in the front seat, w/ the seatbelt buckled behind her. Her only comment when I tried to show her the big pictures on the side of the carrier showing how to install it? Yeah, it takes an act of congress to get kids in and out of cars these days. I had to go buy B (3 yr old) a new car seat so I wouldn't get a ticket on the way up here. I thought about telling her that she would definately have gotten a ticket with the kids strapped in (or not straped in) like that, but just desided to keep my mouth shut. Honestly, I think both children would have been safer w/ no car seats. I now that they didnt have to use car seats with their kids, but.........


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## kalynnsmom

I love my grandma but the other day she was telling me that I was spoiling my twins by not letting them CIO. She said it's good for their lungs. She said that she has all these lung problems because she wasn't allowed to CIO. Umm...No, it's because you smoked since you were 15 and now have emphysema!

My mom said she had to wean my brother because he was eating every 2 hours and he was getting too fat. We had a big argument over it, I told her that it's pretty normal for babies to eat that often.


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## elmh23

We're gearing up for a new baby soon (8 days until my due date







) and I've been saying all along that if dd, age 2, wants to be there, she is more than welcome, even though MIL and my mom will not be allowed in the room (they will be allowed at the free standing birth center, unless I decide to kick them out.) Anyways, last night MIL told me that she didn't think it was a good idea because she thinks it will make dd fear going to the bathroom. I just laughed and said that all over the world kids witness their siblings being born. I figure if she gets scared, she'll let us know and we'll send her out to the grandmas!

Also, MIL told me a couple weeks ago that dh wasn't circ'd. Um, yes he is! I personally think she's losing it, but oh well.


----------



## BetsyS

All my life, I've been told how my brother and I were breastfed as babies. My mother was actually very proud of breastfeeding us, in rural south GA in the 70s, as there was lots of pressure to FF.

Lately, I've been talking to her in more detail. Turns out, she weaned me at 6 months when she got pregnant with my brother. I was talking about how _most_ of the time fertility didn't return until after 6 months if breastfeeding, and she was saying, "oh, well, we started you on solids at 3 weeks, and you had a paci, and you slept through the night." Yeah, mom, that is a little different than my life with a babe.









Then, she told me she had to wean my brother onto formula at 5 months, because he "was just skin and bones". Evidently, her milk was "bad", and he chubbed up on the formula.


----------



## ecoteat

Quote:


Originally Posted by *libranbutterfly* 
One more I just thought of. My MIL's SIL (what does that make her to me?) brought her grandkids up to visit one weekend. I went out to help her get the kids out of the car, and she had the 6 month olds carrier car seat in the back seat, facing forwards, with the handle up and the seatbelt going across right infront of the handle (3 inches from babies face) and his 3 yr old sis in a backless booster in the front seat, w/ the seatbelt buckled behind her. Her only comment when I tried to show her the big pictures on the side of the carrier showing how to install it? Yeah, it takes an act of congress to get kids in and out of cars these days. I had to go buy B (3 yr old) a new car seat so I wouldn't get a ticket on the way up here. I thought about telling her that she would definately have gotten a ticket with the kids strapped in (or not straped in) like that, but just desided to keep my mouth shut. Honestly, I think both children would have been safer w/ no car seats. I now that they didnt have to use car seats with their kids, but.........









:
I'm more relaxed about safety than a lot of people here, but that's awful! I also tend to keep my mouth shut in situations like that, but I would have been tempted to install it correctly when she wasn't looking. Those snap-in carriers are so easy!







:


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## Scrubsjm

I finished the whole thread!

I've had some real doozies said to me so here goes.

*When I was about 30 weeks pregnant with my first dd I was measuring small. I mentioned it my office manager at the time who is/was a child hating







, because I had to go back for another u/s the following week. She began laughing hysterically saying she could just imagine my baby being born with a tiny shrunken head like something you would see on National Geographic. Real nice to say to the worried pregnant mom, I had to go on bedrest the following week for the remainder of my pregnancy, served her right.

*When I saw dh's grandma sometime during my pregnancy she said, now you be sure and take good care of OUR baby. Now that could have been taken in a nice way if the first time I met her she didn't make a comment about how WHEN dh and I got divorced the china belonged to him.

*In the hospital after I had dd a nurse came in and asked who would be helping me with the baby when I got home because she just didn't think I could take care of her by myself. Um, maybe my husband, you know the guy with the matching wedding band who's been here with me the whole time?

* FIL always asks if dd has a "social problem" when she needs a diaper change. No FIL it's called a dirty diaper, don't you ever go to the bathroom?

* When we had just bought our first house and I was pregnant with dd #2 FIL takes dh aside and says "you're really in the trap now aren't you?"

* When we lost dd #2 one of my Aunts said you know my SDIL had a miscarriage at 6 weeks it was really hard on her to, but you'll be fine, you can always have another. Um #1 I didn't have a miscarriage dd was born severely premature and died that's different, and #2 who says I can have more? Even if I can they won't replace her.

* Another Aunt same night, asks how I'm doing. Not well I say, but I'll make it. She says you know it was for the best, there was probably something wrong with it, and it would have died anyway. No I say, she was fine just born to soon, and SHE wasn't an it, she was a girl and her name is Kira.

(Is it any wonder I didn't even tell these people about dd #3 until she was born?)

*FIL says, I wonder what sort of psychological damage children today will have from being confined to carseats and not allowed to interact with the family in the car. Better that then dead from not being safely in a carseat I reply. Oh but look at our kids they're fine and they used to ride in the front seat with a toy steering wheel and pretend to drive. Pretty lucky he survived that dangerous of a situation isn't it FIL?

(Oh and pysch damage from being kept safe in the car, but it's fine to confine kids to cribs and playpens all day long right? FIL tells a lovely story all the frickin time about how he would put SIL in her crib and sit on the front porch and listen to her scream herself to sleep while he chanted "go to sleep Tracy, just go to sleep"

* FIL again! You know when I was born the only thing I could tolerate was mashed bananas. That's all I ate, and see I turned about fine. Just fine expect for your horrible weight problem and atrocious eating habits. The man puts extra butter and mayo on everything!

* A LLL leader the first time I met her and I was 8 months pregnant, oh wow you're tiny, what are you having a peanut?

* FIL Can we give 6 mo old, 9 mo old, 12 mo old dd soda yet? I just love the first time they get soda their eyes water and they gasp and sputter and cough, it's so funny!

* MIL this time, to my crying dd, I love you when you cry, Grandma still loves you when you cry. I'm so glad you love her even when she cries, but how about trying to comfort her or giving her back to me.

* FIL everytime we changed our ebf dd's. Does she have diarrhea, why does her poop look like that, what's wrong with them. Dh finally said "dad for the 50th time this is what breastmilk poop looks like. It's great, it doesn't smell, they aren't constipated, this is how it's supposed to be, stop asking! There is nothing wrong with her poop!"

* FIL after I leave the room to nurse because I know it offends him and I don't want to rock the boat. First he goes as many rooms away from me as he can, and takes dh aside, you know I'm just uncomfortable when she does that, I can only see breasts as a sexual thing. Dh was very good about saying, look we know you are uncomfortable, she left the room to help you feel at ease, so you don't need to say anything. Also you are really stepping over some lines when you make comments like that about my wifes breasts. She is feeding your grandkids the most perfect food possible and you need to get over it. The kicker? SIL walked in the room not a minute later as I'm still nursing and asks to hold the baby. So obviously you couldn't even tell I was nursing.

* Just this week MIL sends my dd's a valentines gift. Dd #3 is allergic to dairy and only 13 months old. The gift includes 2 bears each with a bag of chocolate, 2 king size chocolate bars, a bag of chocolate mini's, yogurt covered raisins, lollipops and a card game. Tell me what out of that can a dairy allergic 13 month old have? That's right the stuffed bear, that's it. No fun taking each of those gifts away from her. Dh asks MIL about it, and she says well I couldn't send just dd #1 the chocolate and not dd #3, sure you could have that would have been appropriate, much better then prying the gifts out of her fingers.

* MIL at Thanksgiving, can we give 9 mo old dd ice cream for dessert? Now dh says, it's dairy she's to young for dairy. How about just a little whipped cream then? asks MIL

* And finally of course it's FIL again. He has the most obnoxious habit of making up things he thinks are kids are saying. So dd was learning to pull up, and his little commentary went something like this. Now, I'll just get my feet under me here, hold on with my hands and wait till the nerves grow in my feet so I know where they are. Then I'll really be able to stand.

(Uh she is standing, and I'm pretty sure she has NERVES IN HER FEET!)

It reminds me of a time my friend was told babies don't have bones in their feet until they are two, so it doesn't matter if you put them in shoes that are to small.


----------



## Lohagrace

scrubsjm---OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!








doesn't even begin to describe it! oh,







you must be the MOST patient person in the world. and i thought *my* FIL was annoying. yours sounds like the worst i've ever heard of.

this one just kills me When we had just bought our first house and I was pregnant with dd #2 FIL takes dh aside and says "you're really in the trap now aren't you?"

what on EARTH!?! how did your dh come from these people? i bet you ask that a lot!

it reminds me a bit of my in laws (not quite as bad) who are always asking if my dc can have inappropriate food. for ex, we are vegan, and she's always like "is dd hungry? can we take her to mcdonalds or something" UM, NO. we can NOT take her to mcdonalds. even if we ate meat, i wouldnt let her eat that crap! when we went to their house when dd was 20 months old the first thing FIL asked was "what does she like to watch on tv? is there a show i can put on for her?" tv is like the only way they interact with their grandkids (or kids or each other for that matter!) i'm like, uhh...she's 20 months old. she doesn't watch tv. she doesn't even know what it is!


----------



## Lohagrace

i just keep thinking of more! isn't it amazing how there is a never-ending supply of stupid crap people say to moms...not to anyone else--just parents! what is up with that!? anyway...

before i had my dc's, my sil was nursing her new baby boy at a (in law) family holiday gathering. i was just talking with her, and her/dh's aunt was in the other room. their aunt has 2 dd the same age as their cousins because she is 16 years younger than dh's mom. anyway, so her youngest at the time was like 2 years old. she is in the other room and we aren't in any way talking to her/about her or even aware that she is listening. so i'm like "isn't it cool how your body just makes what he needs? i know if i have kids i will bf. i just think its so neat blah blah" so we just started talking about it, and since i didn't have kids at the time, she tells me things about it like how its supposed to make them smarter than ff kids, how it has antibodies in it, etc. suddenly my aunt-in-law busts into the room and starts rampaging "just because i formula fed my kids does not mean they are inferior or cant go to harvard. i work in a hospital (as a PR consultant, mind you) and ALL the doctors there say ff is JUST as good as bf, if not more so, blah blah!" but she's like YELLING this at us...and SIL and i are just sitting there looking at her, like wtf, dude? we aren't even talking about you, nor did i even know that her dd was ff.
so then aunt-in-law starts telling us how her dd#1 was bf. then she had dd#2 and the OB at the hospital was like "wouldnt it be soooooooo much easier to just ff this one?" and she was like "you know what? yes it would!" so he "bound her up" and gave her a bottle. at the time i was thinking it was a shame, but now that i'm a mom i'm like how on earth is ff EASIER than bf? hello? to bf you need no supplies, it costs no money, and in the night you just roll over and feed without really waking up. its so sad that the OB convinced her of this. now she obviously feels horribly guilty that she CHOSE to ff when she didn't even need to because of "convenience".


----------



## Klynne

I can't believe some of the things people have had said to them!







:

My family is really supportive to BF and natural child birth blah blah blah, My MIL is a nurse and had to FF my DH because he was allergic to her milk (Is this even possible? Has anyone heard of this?).

MIL and I have a good relationship, but every time dd would cry during the first 3months she ALWAYS asked if dd had a stomach ache... This was so tiring to me because dd didn't have colic or stomach problems as far as I could tell. (MIL's children all had colic so this is what she's used to.)

Also, every time dd sneases or coughs she asks if dd has a cold...
I just don't understand.
She also doesn't think that BF is enough for nutrition after 6 months and that dd is a bit too thin. I try to tell her that many moms (thanks for the support i get at MDC!!) exclusivly BF as late as 12 months, along with sharing facts about iron absorbtion and the like... The most important thing is to follow dd signs and dd is NOT ready for a lot of solids. (she gets plugged up easily).

She's not convinced though, i think it's because of her job. She's a nuse and counsels mothers on how to take care of their babies... I just do as I feel/ know to be right


----------



## Crisstiana

Top Three Dumbest Things I've Heard So Far

1) (This one actually makes me nuts.) If I complain about X, someone will almost always say, "Oh, just you wait, it gets SO MUCH WORSE". I'm sure many of you have heard this. You are pregnant and tell someone you can't sleep. They respond, "Ha! Just wait until the baby comes! Then you will never sleep!". Your babies are born (I had twins, so it's all plural







) and you say that they are wearing you out. "Ha!," the cheerful person replies, "Just wait until they are toddlers! You'll never be able to keep up with them!". And on and on. What's odd is that these things are said in a cheerful manner, but the message is: GIVE UP HOPE. YOU ARE DOOMED. I completely don't get it.

2) Stranger looking at the two babies: "Are they twins?"
Me: "Yes"
Stranger: "Are they both yours?"
Me (a bit confused): "Um...yes"
Stranger: "That's great that you have twins. If one dies, you still have another."
Me (a bit frightened): "Um...um."

1) Chitchatting with an older woman in the NICU while holding one of my children (she turned out to another baby's grandmother):
Woman: "It's so clean in here [the NICU]."
Me: "Yep."
Woman: "And they don't allow smoking in here, you know."
Me: "No, I wouldn't expect that they would."
Woman: "That's a shame. I need a smoke, and smoke toughens babies's lungs."
Me: "..."


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## riversong

This is my friend's good comeback. When her anti-breastfeeding sister told her to cover up while nursing, she said, " You put a blanket over your head while _you_ eat and then I'll do it."


----------



## cinnamonamon

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Klynne* 
My family is really supportive to BF and natural child birth blah blah blah, My MIL is a nurse and had to FF my DH because he was allergic to her milk (Is this even possible? Has anyone heard of this?).

It was (is?) a common misconception; he _may_ have been allergic to something _in_ her milk (dairy is usually the biggest culprit).


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## minkajane

Quote:

2) Stranger looking at the two babies: "Are they twins?"
Me: "Yes"
Stranger: "Are they both yours?"
Me (a bit confused): "Um...yes"
Stranger: "That's great that you have twins. If one dies, you still have another."
Me (a bit frightened): "Um...um."


----------



## Lohagrace

Crisstiana said:


> Top Three Dumbest Things I've Heard So Far
> 
> 2) Stranger looking at the two babies: "Are they twins?"
> Me: "Yes"
> Stranger: "Are they both yours?"
> Me (a bit confused): "Um...yes"
> Stranger: "That's great that you have twins. If one dies, you still have another."
> Me (a bit frightened): "Um...um."
> 
> QUOTE]
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> : i'm laughing at your witty retelling, not at what he said, obviously. what does he think...they are like exact copies of one another? yeah, having twins--its just like buying two of the exact same pencil--in case one breaks
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> : what an effing moron!!!!


----------



## riversong

scrubsjm- So sad, yet so funny. You should write a book about your ILs.


----------



## Scrubsjm

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lohagrace* 







scrubsjm---OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!








doesn't even begin to describe it! oh,







you must be the MOST patient person in the world. and i thought *my* FIL was annoying. yours sounds like the worst i've ever heard of.

this one just kills me When we had just bought our first house and I was pregnant with dd #2 FIL takes dh aside and says "you're really in the trap now aren't you?"

what on EARTH!?! how did your dh come from these people? i bet you ask that a lot!


This may sound terrible, but THANK GOD dh is adopted! He shares zero genetic material with these people, for that I will be eternally grateful.


----------



## Wittyone

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Scrubsjm* 
This may sound terrible, but THANK GOD dh is adopted! He shares zero genetic material with these people, for that I will be eternally grateful.

As weird as my IL's are I don't think they hold a candle to yours...however, my dh is also adopted and I have had the same thought many, many times! Particularly since my son was born - I'm so grateful he's not genetically related to some of these people


----------



## chloeM

I bathed with all my boys till they were two and my mom said they were gonna have sexual problems. We were in California and my middle son(4 ) followed her to the bathroom and yelled " Do you have a penis or a vagina?" My mom didnt know what to say fumbling she said I have a vagina Ethan , he said "Can I see?iMe and hubby were just laughing in hysterics and I knew what she was thinking, that was what made it so funny.


----------



## angrypixiemama

Another FIL one: (maybe we should all make a compilation book about in-laws)

"That baby will sleep through the night when you finally get smart and give her rice cereal." So I launch into the fact that it can set children up for digestive problems, allergies, etc. His response, "Well, you just keep trying foods until she isn't allergic to something." I reminded him that my DH (his son) has terrible stomach issues, he said, "Well, I have no idea why. He was eating beef burgundy, lo mein, and hot sauce at 5 months without any trouble at all."







:







:

He also claims that I breastfeed DD too often, and that is why she is fussy. She isn't fussy, by the way, just hungry.

GMIL also has had some doozies:

"You need to fill in that pool in the backyard before that baby is born or she'll drown." Really? In November? In Central New York? Ice skate, maybe, but not drown. GMIL also liked to make comments while I was pregnant about how "everything you are eating is going right to your stomach". No, there's a baby in there - that is why my stomach sticks out. Good lord.

ILs also like to claim that DD looks nothing like me, and is pure DH. "She doesn't even act like you." Well, she is not even 3 months old, so she acts pretty much like herself right now, I think.


----------



## Shenjall

I was at my friends ds's first birthday. My friend and I were talking while she was holding her ds. Her mil comes along and I congratulate her on a beautiful grandson. I then mention how much he looks like his mama. Well. You wouldve thought I just called him ugly! "NO! HE does NOT! He looks like my ______" Woah. Settle down woman.

And he does look like his beautiful mama.


----------



## Zuzu822

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shenjall* 
I was at my friends ds's first birthday. My friend and I were talking while she was holding her ds. Her mil comes along and I congratulate her on a beautiful grandson. I then mention how much he looks like his mama. Well. You wouldve thought I just called him ugly! "NO! HE does NOT! He looks like my ______" Woah. Settle down woman.

And he does look like his beautiful mama.

I find the neverending comments from my ILs that DS looks just like DH, and "He's all V!" very hurtful. I think it somehow minimizes my role and importance in his life. My mom says they just say that because he has dark hair and eyes and I am very fair. Frankly, when you look at pictures of me from childhood, he and I have a lot of similar features. He looks like DH too in some lights, as well as my dad, my sister, etc. He's a great example of family traits, but more than that, *I wish they would just let him look and act like himself.*
Add that to the fact that MIL wants him to wear all of DH's baby clothes, the fact that they try to put thoughts and words in his mouth, talk down to him, and you can see some of the reasons I don't let them near him if I can absolutely help it.


----------



## SandraS

I still vividly remember the nurse with my first son telling me (after I said I wanted NO drugs, no medical intervention), that "*Oh Sweetie, you'll be hollering for me to bring you drugs soon, believe me!*"...

Way to encourage natural childbirth lady. Suffice it to say, three children, not an IV or medical intervention in sight, and I've had bowel movements that hurt worse than labor!!


----------



## Shenjall

Not so much parenting, but annoying, nonetheless.

Its been pretty cold here. (-40ish) I have 2 teens (dd and ds) and they attend different high schools (long story) but the schools are equal distance from the house. So, mil calls to see how everyone is doing with the cold. Fine I say, we just throw on another sweater and bundle them up. "But what about poor ---(dd), you dont make her walk to school, do you? Its so cold." Dont worry about ds and the cold, but poor little weak dd and the cold. Arrgh!!!! They are both strong and tough!

I tell her, "_yes_, she walks to school in the _same cold_ that _ds_ does".

She just keeps on saying, "aw. poor poor girl. walking to school in that cold"


----------



## BunchaCrunch

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mom2bja* 
I still vividly remember the nurse with my first son telling me (after I said I wanted NO drugs, no medical intervention), that "*Oh Sweetie, you'll be hollering for me to bring you drugs soon, believe me!*"...

Way to encourage natural childbirth lady. Suffice it to say, three children, not an IV or medical intervention in sight, and I've had bowel movements that hurt worse than labor!!









Argh! I had a very similiar experience. The nurse kept telling me that I did not need to be a matyr and she could go get me my epidural at anytime. My success at going drug free was certainly the best revenge


----------



## angrypixiemama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Zuzu822* 
I find the neverending comments from my ILs that DS looks just like DH, and "He's all V!" very hurtful. I think it somehow minimizes my role and importance in his life. My mom says they just say that because he has dark hair and eyes and I am very fair. Frankly, when you look at pictures of me from childhood, he and I have a lot of similar features. He looks like DH too in some lights, as well as my dad, my sister, etc. He's a great example of family traits, but more than that, *I wish they would just let him look and act like himself.*
Add that to the fact that MIL wants him to wear all of DH's baby clothes, the fact that they try to put thoughts and words in his mouth, talk down to him, and you can see some of the reasons I don't let them near him if I can absolutely help it.

I agree with you that it is hurtful. And supremely annoying. My daughter looks remarkably like baby pictures of me, my side of the family, etc, but my mom would never dream of saying that to DH. She always says that Fiona looks like herself, which I love.

FIL likes to claim that she looks just like him. Uh maybe in that neither of you have much hair.


----------



## Ellp

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Zuzu822* 
I find the neverending comments from my ILs that DS looks just like DH, and "He's all V!" very hurtful. I think it somehow minimizes my role and importance in his life. My mom says they just say that because he has dark hair and eyes and I am very fair. Frankly, when you look at pictures of me from childhood, he and I have a lot of similar features. He looks like DH too in some lights, as well as my dad, my sister, etc. He's a great example of family traits, but more than that, *I wish they would just let him look and act like himself.*

I get the same thing from my ILs, except its behavour-wise. (Dd looks exactly like me so it would be rediculous for them to say she looks like her dada.)

My ILs watch my Dd like hawks for behavours and when she does do something remarkable, they credit it to their side of the family. For instance, Dd showed the ability to roll her tongue, length-wise like a tube, and they went nuts over which relative that trait came from! It HAD to be from MIL's side of the family since FIL couldn't do it. Then they started going on about various relatives's abilities. NEVERMIND the fact on my side, my ENTIRE family can roll their tongues. ARRgh! Petty I know, but really really annoying.


----------



## mamalisa

I have the ultimate revenge on the "he looks just like my son" people. My children are both mini-me's. The best part was mil was always playing the "he has Dh's _____ (flat feet, chubby belly, double chin)" Then when ds was about 3 I was watching all the video from when he was born. Mil, sil and my sister were standing outside the nursery while they were giving ds his bath. My sis was taping and loud and clear, mil says "oh wow, he looks just like Lisa". Yes, he does.


----------



## Wolfcat

My co-workers are great for asking after DS. My boss, too. When DS was about 4 months old, I was telling my boss about the reactions and faces that DS does at me. I also mentioned that DS is shy, etc., etc.

So my boss says with absolute seriousness (and two or three of his own), "Just wait 'til he's 9 months and gets some personality."







:

A bit later my boss made the same comment, to which I said "If DS gets any more personality, he may spontaneously combust."














:


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shenjall* 
Not so much parenting, but annoying, nonetheless.

Its been pretty cold here. (-40ish) I have 2 teens (dd and ds) and they attend different high schools (long story) but the schools are equal distance from the house. So, mil calls to see how everyone is doing with the cold. Fine I say, we just throw on another sweater and bundle them up. "But what about poor ---(dd), you dont make her walk to school, do you? Its so cold." Dont worry about ds and the cold, but poor little weak dd and the cold. Arrgh!!!! They are both strong and tough!

I tell her, "_yes_, she walks to school in the _same cold_ that _ds_ does".

She just keeps on saying, "aw. poor poor girl. walking to school in that cold"









My mother's highschool in Alaska didn't allow girls to wear pants *to* school until her senior year. They still had to take the pants off when they got to school, of course. Maybe your MIL was having a brain fart about clothing?


----------



## Shenjall

Nah, I wish. She's always treated my daughter like some fragile little thing. "poor girl this, poor girl that" She cant do something 'cause she's a _girl._ And its not like she's a sensitive child by any means. She gives as good as she gets with her brothers!
I shouldnt be surprised since mil and fil are an old fashioned, man-head-of-household kinda couple. So, I'm sure thats clouded her thoughts on gender issues.


----------



## riversong

When dd was about a week old, a nurse from the hospital called to check in on her. She asked how often I was breastfeeding and I told her every 1 to 3 hours. She proceeded to lecture me on how bfing more often than every 2 hours was terrible. She said if I kept that up I'd soon be in her office crying to her about how all I ever do is breastfeed the baby. She told me to refuse to feed her if she wanted to nurse more often and to send her outside with someone else until the two hours were up. Oh, and dd was not allowed to fall asleep at the breast and just peacefully hang out there. She actually said that I needed to teach her that "this is the way we eat in this house." This was a nurse, for goodness sake, in 2004! How could the hospital let her say such a load of crap? I bfed dd on cue and never cried about always having to bf my baby. I wish I'd gotten the nurse's name so I could call her and tell her how happy I was with the way I was breastfeeding.


----------



## SandraS

Quote:


Originally Posted by *riversong* 
When dd was about a week old, a nurse from the hospital called to check in on her. She asked how often I was breastfeeding and I told her every 1 to 3 hours. She proceeded to lecture me on how bfing more often than every 2 hours was terrible. She said if I kept that up I'd soon be in her office crying to her about how all I ever do is breastfeed the baby. She told me to refuse to feed her if she wanted to nurse more often and to send her outside with someone else until the two hours were up. Oh, and dd was not allowed to fall asleep at the breast and just peacefully hang out there. She actually said that I needed to teach her that "this is the way we eat in this house." This was a nurse, for goodness sake, in 2004! How could the hospital let her say such a load of crap? I bfed dd on cue and never cried about always having to bf my baby. I wish I'd gotten the nurse's name so I could call her and tell her how happy I was with the way I was breastfeeding.

UGH... unfortunately, that's the "book" way of doing it, and there are WAYYY too many moms that believe it. Makes me cringe! Glad you didn't listen!


----------



## ramlita

Baby Myths Busted article- it's actually pretty good!

http://www.huggieshappybaby.com/info...nockcheck=true


----------



## MommytoHHH

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ramlita* 
Baby Myths Busted article- it's actually pretty good!

http://www.huggieshappybaby.com/info...nockcheck=true

Wow - that's not bad at all!


----------



## Zoeanne

Well, it's not really too bad, and he's mostly joking, but it annoys me anyway:

sometimes when ds is crying and I can't get to him right away (like in the car), FIL says "it build character" Maybe so, if you think that feeling unloved and unimportant adds to the character of a person!!!


----------



## majorsky

I know a mom in my neighborhood who believes most of those myths.







She won't change her mind for anything either. Makes me sad. She actually _tries_ to break the bond between her and her 10-month-old son, I think because she believes it will prevent neediness when he's a child.

Kristin


----------



## beanbean

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Zoeanne* 
Well, it's not really too bad, and he's mostly joking, but it annoys me anyway:

sometimes when ds is crying and I can't get to him right away (like in the car), FIL says "it build character" Maybe so, if you think that feeling unloved and unimportant adds to the character of a person!!!


Maybe it builds tenacity and perseverance







. Oh, and character for the poor mama (endurance through trials!).


----------



## Tilia

My sister was in the ICU last weekend and I got to talking with her nurse about our kids. I mentioned that my DD won't sleep at night because she is teething the last of her molars. She said, "Oh, I just gave my toddlers benadryl at night and it knocked them out." I was shocked to hear this from a nurse (but not too much considering most are pro medication). I don't know if she meant children's or adults benadryl. It just seemed strange considering she has none of the symptoms that it treats. I just said it makes me nervous to even give Tylenol or Motrin and we use Hylands but it doesn't work well. Why not give her NyQuil every night, that would knock her out too!







:


----------



## mntnmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *In Exile* 
Same goes with names- people are actually INSULTED that you are not willing to discuss any of that. Somebody actually was wondering how it was possible to even prepare for your baby without knowing the gender- HOW difficult can it be??


Gee....I wonder what people did before u/s?


----------



## MelissaEvans

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mom2005* 
I don't know if she meant children's or adults benadryl. It just seemed strange considering she has none of the symptoms that it treats. I just said it makes me nervous to even give Tylenol or Motrin and we use Hylands but it doesn't work well. Why not give her NyQuil every night, that would knock her out too!







:

If you put a different label on Benadryl, you'd have a sleeping pill. It's the PM in Tylenol PM and all the rest. No wonder there's a "may cause drowsiness" warning on it! =)

I was acting as a doula for a friend who wanted a natural birth. It was an induction (*grumble*) so nice "normal" business hours. The nurse came in and commented "Oh, you're the one with the birth plan." She was the only one? Hmm... Mom got hungry, so I went to ask the nurses at the desk how to get food for mom. They don't allow that - still? In 2006? You've got to be kidding me! "Just in case she needs a c/sec, we don't want her to breat it in" Ok, I'm a Bradley teacher, and that is so flipping old and wrong for so many reasons! Let's let mom get exhausted so she *needs* the c/sec shall we? So I walked back into the labor room, told mom, and offered her a hard boiled egg I had brought. She took it. =) Since she was on Pit, she had to be monitored and they didn't have any telemetry units, another point against them. One nurse came in and told her that they like moms to have an epidural just in case they need a c/sec, that way their already numb and won't need general since the epi takes 20 minutes to kick in. I paced while she pulled the scare tactics and asked about a spinal instead. Well, that takes 10 minutes. After the nurse left, I held mom's hand and told her that the epi can *cause* the c/sec, they can do the spinal just in case - there's "30 minutes from decision to incision" and 10 of those can be numbing up! That's what happened with my first birth, I should know! I was so mad at them. The best part was when mom related the situation to dad, she had regained her confidence. They discovered her baby was breech. Her options were to go home, try to get baby to turn (she was 38 weeks, this wasn't a danger!), try external version, or c/sec. I mentioned chiropractic and accupuncture and such that can help if she leaves. She liked the idea and decided to tell the nurse. The nurse proceeded to tell her that if the baby didn't turn right now, then he'd be too big and she'd have to be sectioned. The nurse scared her into staying for the version. I gave mom some homeopathy to help, the epi was given (not needed!), the version was tried and worked. Funny part was, the nurse mentioned how she'd never seen it work that late in the game (I think the homeopathy helped =) ). If she'd never seen it work, then why scare mom into staying?! WTF? I was ticked, but mom was satisfied with her birth so I didn't vent my frustrations to her. I would love to help laboring moms, but I couldn't do hospital births, my BP would go through the roof!!!

Changing gears, my friend found an artical by an optomitrist. It mentioned how things we do for our babies can help their eyesight develop; bad eyes aren't just in the genes. My church did a service project for a very poor nation, making wall hangings for babies. I remember thinking that there must be other things way more important that decorations! But the babies in the orphanages were going blind becuase they didn't have any stimulation. So this idea of helping baby's eyesight was familiar. There were 10 tips; 7 of them had to do with the crib. Use colored sheets; use a mobil; leave a night light on so baby can see when it's dark... All I could think was "Gee, how much time did your kids spend in the crib? Pick 'em up for crying out loud!!!" Oh, one of the other tips was to put bells on baby's socks to teach him/her to look at his/her feet. I must have genius children as both of my kids found their feet without any help. I best get the paperwork for Harvard now. =)


----------



## minkajane

Bump!


----------



## Katielady

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MelissaEvans* 
One nurse came in and told her that they like moms to have an epidural just in case they need a c/sec, that way their already numb and won't need general since the epi takes 20 minutes to kick in. I paced while she pulled the scare tactics and asked about a spinal instead.

Ugh. I had a natural labor (Bradley, in fact!) but then had an emergency c-section due to fetal distress during the pushing phase. I'm still not sure if the section was necessary but that's another story. I remember when they were prepping me for the c-section, various nurses and I don't know who else among all the people who came rushing into the room kept complaining that I didn't have an epidural in. "She doesn't have an epidural? OH." with their voices sounding all "some people never learn."







:

Once a woman is in hard labor, it seems like a lot of medical people think she stops being able to hear them. I wanted to say, "I can't really talk right now, but I can definitely hear what you're saying!" Jerks.

It *was* tough for them to get the spinal in, btw. But they got it. Still, it's not a reason to give an epidural for a normal labor. Sheesh.


----------



## Thursday Girl

I was at the fair with my family, and well DH was standing near a ride waiting for DD #1 i had DD#2 in my pouch and i was leaning her back and letting her hang upside down, and then sitting her back up. she was loving it, laughing and screaming with delight, and then this lady told me that i shouldn't hold her upside down because ity would mess up her liver and she would grow up and have stomache problems.

i just thanked her for the information and went somewhere else.

courtney


----------



## Katielady

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jewelysmommy* 
I was at the fair with my family, and well DH was standing near a ride waiting for DD #1 i had DD#2 in my pouch and i was leaning her back and letting her hang upside down, and then sitting her back up. she was loving it, laughing and screaming with delight, and then this lady told me that i shouldn't hold her upside down because ity would mess up her liver and she would grow up and have stomache problems.

i just thanked her for the information and went somewhere else.

courtney

Also, if you let her make silly faces, her face will stick like that forever.


----------



## tatangel19

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Xenogenesis* 
Hey-hey, what about popsicles made from breastmilk (for an older child, of course). :LOL

<edited to add I'm so sorry to hear about so many having such uncaring "friends" and relatives. I guess this is one of the reasons a lot of us practice attachment parenting, to make this world a better place.>










Maybe we should attach ourselves to our LO and unattach from our so-called friends and family!








: Idiocy makes me ill...


----------



## MrPixar

I am reading this thread lol because I have heard almost all of these. I am glad that my wife and I are not the only ones people ask stupid questions to.

One day when my wife was about 30 weeks or so with our babies, we went to eat at a buffet. We were almost to our table with our food when this older guy got up from his table, ran over, stopped us and said " I just wanted make sure that y'all knew where the nearest hospital was." I wanted to say: Why are you having a heart attack? but I kept it to myself. I then had to console my wife and convince her to try and enjoy her meal. My thought was on how he just assumed we were going to a hospital.







:


----------



## In Exile

My own mother!!!








My little one was only 5 pounds and 13 ounces and had some issues holding up his body temperature, low glucose levels and had to be transferred into a Level II Unit, IVs running and so on- "well, most likely that's because you're vegetarian." WTF??? He was three days old, I am just recovering and my baby not doing well- I just burst into tears, she did not even realized how bad that was. I ate soo healthy during that pregnancy- what about those that drink and smoke and still have 8 pounders?? I was not thrilled.

At the same time I start noticing that people have a hard time relating and all they wanna do is "finally see the baby". Exept for my hubby's parents I did not want ANYBODY else at the hospital. My baby is not an exhibition and I felt awful, being up all the time, pumping every ounce of colostrum that I could syringe feed him.

We finally have been home for only 4 days and now people start assuming it's okay to just drop by- "oh, it's been almost 2 weeks"- they just don't get that he was in the hospital for most of the time and that we just starting to do okay.


----------



## Throkmorton

Quote:


Originally Posted by *In Exile* 

We finally have been home for only 4 days and now people start assuming it's okay to just drop by- "oh, it's been almost 2 weeks"- they just don't get that he was in the hospital for most of the time and that we just starting to do okay.

Ugh. Lock your door and put a sign on it. The sign should say "Mom and baby are resting, please leave us a note"
Leave a notepad and pen near the door.


----------



## catnip

Quote:


Originally Posted by *In Exile* 
My own mother!!!








My little one was only 5 pounds and 13 ounces and had some issues holding up his body temperature, low glucose levels and had to be transferred into a Level II Unit, IVs running and so on- "well, most likely that's because you're vegetarian." WTF??? He was three days old, I am just recovering and my baby not doing well- I just burst into tears, she did not even realized how bad that was. I ate soo healthy during that pregnancy- what about those that drink and smoke and still have 8 pounders?? I was not thrilled.


Oh, I'm so sorry!

I was interviewing a pediatrician when I was about 33 weeks and she gave me hassles about being veg. It had me in tears for all of Thanksgiving weekend. Fortunately, my OB laughed at me when I asked her about it, and made a rude remark about the ped in question. Still it had me feeling like crap.


----------



## Irma Lisette

OMG this thread is GREAT!!! I've only read 10 pages so far but I plan on reading the rest too! It kinda makes me scared of what's to come, I know DH's family has some old-fashioned/crazy ideas that I'm sure they'll throw in my face at some point...

So far the worst things that happened involved my MIL, when I was pg she offered to take off work and come up to our house and help out after the baby was born. I thought that was so nice of her and I'd been told not to turn down any help so I said "Sure, that would be great! Maybe we can do it after Cary (DH) goes back to work?". A couple of weeks later DS was born (at home) and I was a wreck (lost a lot of blood) and couldn't even get out of bed. The next morning DH tells me that MIL is coming by 'today and tomorrow' to help out...the only 2 days that DH is home! I thought that was kind of strange because I thought we agreed that she'd come after he'd gone back to work. But since there was plenty of stuff that had to be done around the house (dishes, cleaning, laundry, cooking) I was fine with her coming now. That is, until she actually arrived, which wasn't until lunchtime. Of course the first thing she did was look at her new grandson (who I was nursing). After a few minutes she asked if she could hold him (sure) so she picked him up...so far so good. But then she walks out of the bedroom to the living room...with DS. I figured she would be right back, but NO! She stayed in the living room and so did DH and I was all alone in the bedroom, without my baby! I waited a while and had some lunch and thought, surely they'll be back soon, but they didn't come back! So I called DH (who's hearing is not that great)...no response. I called again and again and nobody heard me! And I couldn't get out of bed without feeling like I was going to pass out. FINALLY DH heard me (at this point I was basically yelling loud enough for the neighbors - half a mile away - to hear me). He asked me what was wrong. Well...I was there all alone for at least an hour and a half, where was my baby??? Of course I don't blame DH, after all he's a guy







but MIL was the one who took my baby! So finally they came back and stayed in the bedroom for a while. After a couple of hours, where all she did was hold DS, she finally left. The next day it was basically the same thing. She didn't help out AT ALL, the house was still a mess, she did the only thing I could do myself, hold the baby! After that she had definitely ruined it for me, I wasn't even gonna try and 'bond' with her anymore.

A few weeks later, she came up to our place again and we went to the local resale barn (thrift store). While there, DS started crying. I got him out of the car seat (which we'd put on a shopping cart) to calm him down, he was pretty upset and I didn't want everyone else in the store to get annoyed with a crying baby (which is stupid anyway, poor baby can't help it). So I was comforting DS and here comes MIL...OOH, can I hold him??? Well...not right now...I'm trying to comfort him, he's crying. But you can hold him later, at the house. I said it in a very nice way but apparently she took it the wrong way and was mad at me for not letting her hold DS. Se didn't say anything but when we got to the house, she didn't even get out of the car! And later she told everyone else in the family how I wouldn't let her hold the baby...well DUH! It wasn't the right time and place, but I usually let everyone I know hold the baby whenever they want to (when DS isn't hungry/crying/sleeping).

Of course now she thinks I don't like her (well not anymore I don't!) but she wants to make up and take us out to lunch. Well...we'll see. I think she just wants to make up with me so I'll let her babysit DS. Uh...I don't think so. She couldn't even raise her own children (DH + sibs were raised by his grandparents) so I'm scared of what she'd do when she's alone with our son!

Ok, I better stop...sorry for the rant...


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## St. Margaret

Ugh, she sounds like such a treasure!


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## Katielady

*Irma*: I had the same thing happen with my MIL! My mom came to help out for a week after DS was born, and she cooked and cleaned and did laundry so that I could breastfeed and hold the baby. I had a c-section, so I couldn't do any lifting myself, which was really frustrating. But even aside from that, I really wanted to spend as much time with the baby as I could, working on getting breastfeeding going and such. I really appreciated everything my mom did.

MIL, who lives close enough to come for day visits, wanted to "come help too," so I said that would be great. I was skeptical though, because when she was around at the hospital and visited a bit while my mom was here, she only wanted to hold the baby and otherwise just sat on the couch. But I figured I'd give her the benefit of the doubt.

She came, and we ended up needing to go see a lactation consultant that morning so we left her a list of things that needed to be done in the house (vacuum, clean bathrooms and kitchen). We came back and asked how it went, and she (on the couch) said, "I'm very worn out." Turns out she went nuts on little detail things in the kitchen...she had removed the filters from the exhaust over the stove, for example, and scrubbed them completely shiny. She had spent the whole 2 hours doing that and a few other things, so the kitchen was half filthy and half sparkling. Nothing else was done. Then when I went to try to nurse DS (and thank god I wasn't in the room for this) she proceeded to tell DH that our house was too dirty and we didn't know how to clean, and she would show him how to clean properly. He told her he knows how to clean, but that we preferred not to spend all our free time keeping things THAT clean, and just stick to the basics.

So basically, she didn't help, and told us our house was dirty.

I let her come over one more time after DH went to work. She asked if there was anything she could do ("I could change his diaper if he needs it!") and I asked her if she could put in a load of laundry. She was like, "I don't know how to use your machine." Because it's so hard to figure out how to use someone else's washing machine.







I played dumb about her stalling tactics and showed her how to use the machine. She did one load -- and there was a huge pile of dirty laundry still sitting there in plain sight -- and then sat on the couch reading a magazine, waiting for DS to wake up so she could hold him. What a self-centered







. The next time she asked if I needed her to "come help," I said that I was doing fine on my own and that we'd see her on the weekend soon for a visit.

Grrr. It was 9 months ago and I'm fuming again just thinking about it. Well, I'll make sure never to do that to any of my future DILs!


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## sunnymw

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PumpkinSeeds* 
My MIL said that by nursing my ds I was going to turn him into a homosexual.

I have never laughed so hard in my life...

wouldn't the world have ceased to exist? I mean... if all the breastfed babies before formula were homosexual...


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## catnip

Yeah, my mom was supposed to come help when dd ws born, but wound up selling her house a week before she was born, so I actually wound up spending the last week of my pregnancy and the first three weeks of motherhood shuttling back and forth (a hundred mile round trip) trying to get the last of my things out and helping HER move. Then she came back to my house, spent 2 nights with me, made a pretty big mess in my kitchen (left the coffee maker out and grounds everywhere, plus she had used my spice grinder to grind her coffee with, I have 2 seperate ones) and then left.


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## ecoteat

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Katielady* 
I let her come over one more time after DH went to work. She asked if there was anything she could do ("I could change his diaper if he needs it!") and I asked her if she could put in a load of laundry. She was like, "I don't know how to use your machine." Because it's so hard to figure out how to use someone else's washing machine.







I played dumb about her stalling tactics and showed her how to use the machine. She did one load -- and there was a huge pile of dirty laundry still sitting there in plain sight -- and then sat on the couch reading a magazine, waiting for DS to wake up so she could hold him. What a self-centered







. The next time she asked if I needed her to "come help," I said that I was doing fine on my own and that we'd see her on the weekend soon for a visit.

Oh, this sounds familiar! MIL came for a few days when dd was about 2 months. I was a little surprised she didn't offer to help much, but I know sometimes she's a little intimidated by me, so I guess she really didn't know what her role was as a new grandma. After a while, though, I started to get annoyed and would make a huge production out of taking laundry up and down the stairs so she would notice I was doing everything. After I mumbled "She could offer to help!" to DH, he made sure she did.







By the time she left the kitchen was the cleanest it had been in months, the laundry was all caught up, and everyone was happy.

But that has little to do with the point of this thread! Here are a few dumb comments:

My grandma, who has been really supportive of me bfing dd ("I bf all 5 of my kids!") said that the first time each of her kids bit her was the last time she nursed them.

My mechanic, who thinks he's our friend even though we think he's crazy and we only tolerate him because he's the only person around competent enough to fix our Volvos, has to be the most negative and miserable father I've ever met. He's said lots of terrible things, but yesterday when he asked what dd's name was, we told him Phoebe and he said "FEE BEE?! (to dd) Wow, you're gonna hate your parents someday!"







:


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## mashenka

I just found this thread! It's so great. Definitely laughter through tears, as the painful comments I've gotten from family members can be funny with time.

I think the dumbest stuff I heard was from my stepmom, who's normally pretty supportive. My husband and I had a rough year a couple of years ago due to his being on extended bed rest. My son was in his second year at the time and was a real handful. I was tired and worn out from being an on-duty parent all day long. I tried to talk to my stepmom, thinking she was sympathetic, and she told me my problems all stemmed from the fact that I was "trying to be a perfect mom" and that DH and I just needed to get a babysitter more often and spend time with one another. I was so floored I couldn't say anything! I think all the parents, mine and the in laws, have made some comment about this "perfect mom" stuff which was their reaction to AP-style parenting. By being attentive towards my child, not letting him cry, sleeping with him, nursing him, was also trying to be "perfect." I wish I'd had a good response!


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## minkajane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ecoteat* 
My mechanic, who thinks he's our friend even though we think he's crazy and we only tolerate him because he's the only person around competent enough to fix our Volvos, has to be the most negative and miserable father I've ever met. He's said lots of terrible things, but yesterday when he asked what dd's name was, we told him Phoebe and he said "FEE BEE?! (to dd) Wow, you're gonna hate your parents someday!"







:

Phoebe's a beautiful name!!! Jeez, didn't the guy ever watch Friends? Phoebe is way up there on my list of baby names.


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## triscuitsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dov'sMom* 
I asked my doctor for help figuring out how to take a rectal temperature, because the one time I tried DS squirmed and wriggled so much that I had to take it three times and got three different results. He said "Don't bother. The temperature doesn't tell you anything at all. People say you need to know the temperature to know if there's a dangerous infection; let me tell you, you don't! You go to the ER, there are two ways to find out if your baby has an infection. One is the temperature + blood test. The results of the temperature + blood test are about 30% accurate. You want me to improve on 30% accurate? Here, I've got one! It's round and has a picture of Abraham Lincoln on it. That'll give you fifty percent. Until they come up with a test that beats Ole Abe, I don't bother with it. The other way? It's called the good doctor test. The good doctor looks at your baby and says either "This baby is fine" or "This baby is sick." If you have a good doctor, his results can be close to 100% accurate. Now _that_ I'll go by!"

Then he said, "By the way, you don't need the good doctor. Good mothers can do it too."









Did I mention that I love my doctor? I was first going to a different doctor, one I'd picked because when I asked her about vaxing she said she'd be okay if I didn't, but she would give me some literature to try change my mind. Her "literature," by the way, consisted of CDC one-pagers! She had an accident just before my 2-month visit, and I had some follow-up questions from a recent hospitalization, so I had to find a doctor in a rush and ended up with this one without doing any research. I was a little afraid to bring up the vaxing question, but at the end of the visit he did. "So, do you want me to give your baby a bunch of shots? Personally, I don't think there's a point, but most parents nowadays insist."

My other doc had also put us on vitamin drops. I told the new doc I was giving them whenever I remembered, like once a week, because I didn't think he really needed them. "Vitamins? For a breastfed baby? Well, maybe if you were black and lived in Scotland in a house with no windows and you never went outside I would think about giving him vitamin D supplements, but otherwise, why bother?"

I *love* your doctor. Mine is good, but not that good... he still insists on Vitamin D drops (which I don't give but say I do *rolls eyes*) and would be happier if I'd vax (though he never pressures me).


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## sapphire_chan

: at all the MIL/mother stories. And our families wonder why we've already (yes before even successfully TTC) been making gentle comments about "seeing" how much help will need.

Frankly, I'd rather eat take out and wear the same pair of clothes for a month than have to deal with *that* sort of help.


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## phathui5

When dh announced at a church meeting that we were having our fourth baby, his friend yelled (across the church), "You need a hobby!"

Luckily, dh yelled back, "I have a hobby!"


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## NewMama2007

And this is such a fun post to start in!

For choosing to have a medication-free birth: "you'll change your mind. You have no idea the pain of childbirth until you go through it". Huh. First of all, don't assume I haven't been through childbirth - I placed my first child into an adoptive family 9 years ago and went through natural childbirth. I just don't choose to share that special part of my life with many people.

Any time I get so much as a paper cut or walk into something (which happens surprisingly often) and say "ouch" : "you have no idea what pain is until you go through childbirth." So a person can't experience any type of pain, ever, unless they have had a baby? I'll tell that to my husband the next time he hurts himself in some way.

Breastfeeding: .
From my mom: "You need to get her used to bottles from the beginning, and you have to give her formula so she gets used to it just in case." Yeah, right.
From MIL: "You're going to have to give that baby a bottle eventally." Yes, I will have to go back to work. No, we won't give formula. It absolutely boggled her mind that we won't be giving formula.
That's another thing - MIL keeps calling my daughter (not here yet, but still) "that baby". WTH does that mean?
From the woman teaching my childbirth (hospital) class, after I asked if we could nurse immedeately after birth: "Babies are too traumatized to nurse immedeately after birth. They need to wait at least an hour or two." Right.
From my father: "You'll quit when she gets teeth, you're too flaky." Don't know where he got that one, or where he got the right to decide I'm flaky - I haven't seen the man but once in the past 2 years.

On cloth diapering:
"You'll get over it when you realize how easy disposables are". No, because I realize how bad disposables are for the world my daughter will be living in.

About babysitting:
My MIL has said soooooo many times "when do I get to take the baby?" Maybe I'm sensitive to the language, but where are you going to take her, MIL? It sounds like kidnapping or something.

She didn't bf, and doesn't understand that I will not be leaving my newborn and heading out alone anytime soon.

A little long for a first post, sorry!


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## Harmony96

I visited my family last week... always interesting since their parenting choices are mostly different than mine. I am, of course, still nursing DD since she's only 14 weeks old, and every time I fed her, mom would ask how long she eats for. I always said "until she's done." She was fine with that, but still kept asking at almost every feeding.







Then my last morning there, I was feeding her, and mom asked again and I could tell from the wording or tone of the question or something that this time she was meaning "how old will Lydia be when you wean her." So I kept w/ my same answer, "until she's done."







Then my mom said that I have to quit at a year b/c it's "just gross" after that. I said "no it's not" and we went back and forth slightly on it, but didn't fight. My MIL, otoh, is supportive of me nursing for as long as I want. DH's job is likely going to earn us a trip to Hawaii this December, and I couldn't remember if on "those" trips we are able to take DD. (He couldn't take any family at all to his regional meeting that he just got home from.) So at first I asked MIL if she could take off work and watch DD while we're in Hawaii. She was worried for me and said that I'd have to start pumping to build a big stash but was willing to watch her. But then on the way home I started to get worried... what if DD doesn't take pumped milk? What if she won't go to sleep? What if she misses me too much? What if she forgets how to nurse during that week? What if I can't pump enough to keep up my supply? So finally i asked DH and he said that of course DD would be coming with us to Hawaii. Yay.









But anyway, back to the "bad" parenting things.







DD needed a bath while I was visiting mom, and I asked mom if she wanted to help (since she hasn't been around a tiny baby lately... my 7 month old cousin was never tiny.







). She said she'd "watch." So we got her bath stuff ready, but then mom sortof took over and did the whole bath and I was the one watching. That part didn't bother me. What bothered me was afterwards when mom insisted on powdering and lotioning my baby. I've heard that even cornstarch powder isn't all that great so I've been mostly avoiding it (except for a little chafing I noticed on DD's leg... I put a tiny bit of powder on my finger and shook most of it off before applying it to DD). I asked mom to put it in her hand first so she does... a BIG ol' pile of it. Then doesn't dump off the excess.







: And then on the lotion. I'm not against lotion. But mom put it on DD's arms, legs, feet, tummy, and HANDS. I used some lotion back in the very beginning on her wrists/ankles when they were going through that flakey stage, but even then I was very sparing w/ it and did not put it on her hands, just her wrists. Well, mom's lotion application left a big ol' glob of lotion on one of DD's hands. I took her wet towel and wiped them off. She regularly chews on her hands and I didn't want her chewing on so much lotion too.

Mom and I continued "talking" about the powder and lotion and she kept trying to tell me it needed to be this way or that way. Finally I said, "MY baby." and she was quiet.


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## AllieFaye

From my mil:

"Babies love be left in their car seats all the time." Then, she doesn't understand why ds screams when he's in his. She insists that we need to leave him in it (or the bouncy seat, swing, what have you,) so that he gets used to it.

The second that he started fussing in the sling, she shouted, "He wants out of _that thing_!" when he was only fussing for the potty. This was after she asked me if I was going to get "one of those tote bags" for him when I was pg.

"You *have* to have bottles," when I was pg. Then, when I'm exclusively bf, she keeps asking, "Is he getting enough?" Recently, she's started with, "If you don't give him a bottle, then he's not getting enough." I can hardly wait for the humdingers when I'm nursing past six months.

This doesn't even begin to cover the dumbest things she _does._


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## Irma Lisette

*Katielady*: you MIL sounds lovely...not!









My mom came to stay with us for a week when DS was 1 week old, she flew all the way over from Holland! She was such a big help, doing laundry, cooking, cleaning, making sure I ate and slept...it was wonderful and I'd probably have PPD if it wasn't for her!


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## lary

Upon telling a friend I was planning to use cloth diapers, I was asked if I had ever heard of using _real_ diapers. I responded by aksing if she realized the impact on the environment with disposables or if she knew of the chemical that used in manufacturing diapers, to which she said that they had an extra large trash bin and didn't think about the waste! After I had dd she saw me using a prefold and commented on how easy it looked?!?!?

It is so true that after you have a baby, everyone becomes a parenting expert... my midwife told me, once you have your baby you will recieve a lot of unsolicited advice.... just smile, say thanks and ignore it


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## Katielady

This weekend, we all went to a party during the day. DS was crawling around exploring the living room, and also having a great time playing with my friend's older sister, who is a nice woman but a bit cracked. At one point DS got his hands on a lamp cord, and the woman started going "come here! come here!" and waggling her fingers. DS was interested for a second, but his love of cords won out and he went back to it. I went over and picked him up, planning to plop him somewhere else and redirect him.

She said, "Aren't you just...enabling him? I mean, wouldn't it be better to get him to come to you, so you aren't doing the work?" I looked at her blankly, not sure what to say. "I have dogs," she added, with a knowing smile.

OH! You have DOGS! Well by all means then...you're definitely more of a parenting expert than me.









I handled it pretty well I think...it was so silly I managed not to get offended, as I usually do by unsolicited parenting advice. I just turned the conversation to her dogs and we talked about that while I tended to DS as I saw fit.


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## Irma Lisette

Another story, about why I wasn't breastfed (I just found this out a week after my DS was born and had to explain to my mom because she didnt know!).

When I was born, the nurses said my mom had to breastfeed for 10 minutes on each breast every 3 hours. They would weigh me before and after each feeding, so they would know how much milk I got. When I didn't get enough milk, they would have my mom supplement with formula. Of course this was basically all the time, since her milk hadn't come in yet!!! And because they wouldn't let her bf for more than 10 minutes per breast, it didn't help the milk supply at all. After a week my mom had to give up because they said she didn't have enough milk. Well DUH!!!
I guess back then (1977) they didn't realize that it takes while for the milk to come in and that you just have to let the baby suck as much as possible to bring on the milk supply. But I just can't believe they WEIGHED me to find out how much milk I got!!!







:


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## denvermom

**


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## jellop

When I was prego with Ds1, I was picking up my SIL (who happened to work at a liquor store) and give her a ride home. Anyways, I went in to let her know I was there, she was really busy, so I just wandered around a bit waiting. A pair of women walked up to me and told me I shouldn't be allowed to have children, and I was obviously going to be a terrible mother. When I tried to explain that I was there to pick up my SIL and that I don't drink, they told me I was a liar because I obviously wasn't even married because I wasn't wearing a wedding ring! Then I _showed_ them my ring (it was on my necklace), and when they asked why I had it there, I told them "Umm, did it ever occur to you that my hands are swollen, just like the rest of my body?!" People really need to think before they jump to conclusions.







:


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## Romana

I hadn't posted this to this thread yet, but I've complained about it a lot.









I'm sick and tired of people condescendingly telling me that "babies cry" and that letting your baby cry is okay. Also for rolling their eyes when I do very simple, obvious things to relieve my baby's crying - like walk 15 feet away from what was scaring her, or nurse her.

Seriously, since when is it BAD PARENTING to SOOTHE A CRYING INFANT? It's not like I'm doing something outlandish. I'm just making some tiny accomodation (feeding, holding, playing with, avoiding scary/stressful things) to keep my baby from crying.

What a terrible mother.









Julia
dd 11 mos









Disclaimer: I know there are times when despite mom and dad's best efforts, the baby cries anyway. I'm talking about when there are simple, immediate things you can do to calm or soothe a crying baby (things that work!) and people ridicule you for doing them. Like you're a hyperactive, crazy parent spoiling the poor baby because you respond to its obvious needs.


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## timneh_mom

My MIL insists on lending us this rickety, old metal scale (the one she weighed the puppies on when they were born) to "show" me how much milk my baby gets when she nurses. She gave the scale to DH when DS was born and we had the d**n thing in our bedroom for months. This time, I told her, "I don't need a scale to know my baby is getting enough." Fortunately, she backed off immediately!

This is the woman who told me I needed to put DS on a schedule and she wouldn't give him to me when he was 2 weeks old and clearly needed to nurse again. She also told me she couldn't breastfeed because she didn't make enough milk. Go figure!


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## AmyJayne19

My DH's mother and grandmother have been telling me that i am spoiling my 5 week old baby because i'm always holding him. Well duh! He's a baby, of course i'm going to hold and comfort my baby. Apparently i'm supposed to put him on a feeding schedule too. I just want to ask them if they eat when they're hungry, to hear them say yes and then reply to them that my DS can also eat when he's hungry too. And soothers, they always want to put a soother in his mouth when i know he just wants to eat. Like come on, you tell them this but nope, they know he just needs a soother to suck on. That's what i'm for. And i'm quite happy doing it.


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## mom2jasper

Quote:


Originally Posted by *denvermom* 
My MIL told me if my baby didn't crawl long enough before walking, he would be dyslexic.

Not absolutely true, but there is a grain of truth to this. Some children are born with sensory integration disorder and certain textures bother them. They don't like to crawl because of the feeling of tile, wood, carpet, etc. on their hands. Or some children are born with low muscle tone and never develop their shoulder girdle muscles sufficiently enough to support themselves while crawling. Or sometimes it's a combination of these or other factors. When they don't develop enough of their gross motor functions, the fine motor functions may lag behind.

Fast forward to school age. I am a teacher, at our school we have an Occupational Therapist specializing in Sensory Integration on staff. I have worked with her for several years and attended many different workshops and talks on the subject, but I am certainly NO EXPERT. Anyway, Kids who are uncoordinated and lacking certain academic skills--reading and writing in particular are assessed for SI disorder. There are other characteristics too...anyway, these kids go for therapy and she has them do lots of baby-toddler things--crawling, pulling up, rolling on the ground--things that they need to develop certain muscles that they may have missed out on in early childhood. As a teacher I can say that I have seen complete turnarounds academically for the kids who have gone through this type of OT. In almost all cases according to the therapist, the child's problems can be traced back to early childhood, and not crawling is a very common one.

Please understand that I'm not saying not crawling=not reading. I am sure many of us (including me) can cite numerous personal anecdotes of the child who never crawled but is academically brilliant. Just saying that there is a school of thought that believes there is a link between not crawling and academic problems.


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## letniaLynne

So on monday night I was at my regular "Stitch & B#&*H" that I joined in November. The woman are much older than me but I always have a good time. I could tell that they had much different views on parenting than I do but we never really got into any sort of brawl about it. Well lets just say that I don't think I will be going back....

The topic of BFing came up and the fact that I was STILL EPing for my DD who is 13mths, I just said that she still needs BM at this age and WHO & other medical organizations agree that it is the best thing for even for toddlers. Then a mom (who did BF her two babes for 4mths & 7 mths) said that ...

"It is just like everything else in this world...I bet we will find out later that even broccoli is bad for us."
She was implying that medical science is always coming out with some new study that over turns the current information.







:

Honestly I don't know what I said in return but that is also NOT wher the conversation ended so like I said earlier ill be finding another place to knit with Real supportive friends







.


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## Corvus

If I cut-off all the friends and family members who think I'm weird for nursing for 3 years or for nursing at all, I would only have a couple friends left.







The fact is, I don't care what other people think of my nursing. And if someone badgers me about it, I simply try to gently educate them. Usually they drop it, but if they keep it up, I just ignore them. And I refrain from bringing the topic up around them. I don't want to hear it.

I'm just saying, if you like your knitting group, you don't have to give it up just because these people disagree with you.


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## CaraNicole

the worst thing that has been said to me was by my own mother (who i've only known about 5yrs of my 22yrs (almost)....the other weekend circ came up...dad says oh it's gonna happen...i laughed and said ds is 4mo old no way! mom actually tried to talk me into it and when i told her she was effin nuts she tried to one up me by offering to dh to pay for it! :

















































:














(lots of emotions at once) so i started cussing...ALOT...and i also typed up this nice little paper (put in ds med. file) that if anyone circed my son they would be sued...also left them my lawyers number...i did play the trump card...mom are you just mad b/c i do everything different? she keeps acting like i'm saying she's a bad mom...she is but i don't act like i think she is!


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## Kateana

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CaraNicole* 
she keeps acting like i'm saying she's a bad mom...she is but i don't act like i think she is!

Same with my mom... she left my dad and I when I was 6, and she still likes to say she was a good mom!







:


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## letniaLynne

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corvus* 
If I cut-off all the friends and family members who think I'm weird for nursing for 3 years or for nursing at all, I would only have a couple friends left.







The fact is, I don't care what other people think of my nursing. And if someone badgers me about it, I simply try to gently educate them. Usually they drop it, but if they keep it up, I just ignore them. And I refrain from bringing the topic up around them. I don't want to hear it.

I'm just saying, if you like your knitting group, you don't have to give it up just because these people disagree with you.

I totally agree and normally that would be how I handle the situation but I have been feeling a bit like the odd ball out for awhile. Usually I just keep my mouth shut regarding "controversial" parenting topics but recently after talking to my hubbie I realized I always had a bad night when I talked about my life in general with those woman. I know that is because currently my life revolves around those so called "controversial" topics







. I have just been enjoying listening to their life problems/stories and never speaking up until recently and since then it seems like it we really are not a good fit. I cant keep my mouth shut forever and I surely dont want to have to defend my every move in life.







:

The other night was just horrible! 45mins of AP bashing! I just feel bad for their children.







:


----------



## sugarlumpkin

My grandmother (86) was at my house to see my baby. He was asleep, in the Mei Tai, when she arrived. She demanded I take him out and show him to her. I refused, saying I didn't want to disturb him. Then she said I should take off his socks "so at least I can see his feet." I refused. She said, "you just don't know what it is like to be a great-grandmother." I said she was right and that I had only been a mother for 9 weeks, but I was not going to wake up my baby for her convenience.

A few minutes later he woke up and wanted to nurse. I took him upstairs to the nursery where it was quiet (the whole family was over) to nurse. When my son stopped nursing, my DH and I took him back downstairs so my grandma could have a look at him. Mind you, he was awake and cute with open eyes and made eye contact and everything. After about 10-15 minutes he began to root, and when DH did not hand him over, the baby made a little noise. I said "OK, give him to me now. He needs to nurse again" and DH handed him over. My grandma said "What?! Just for a little squawk like that?

I replied, "Well, you don't want to let your baby get into the habit of crying, do you?"

After the second nursing I put him back in the MT and he fell asleep again and I was happy. She did stick her hand in the side of the MT (too close to me breast for my comfort)!!! Why she feels this is ok I have no idea.

I guess she's just old and missing her husband, my grandpa, who died almost a year ago.

Still, I thought it was ridiculous to see that old way of thinking--just a little noise from the baby is not enough to get his needs met--in my own house! (My DH, my mom, and my dad are supportive of my parenting choices.)


----------



## ramlita

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sugarlumpkin* 
She said, "you just don't know what it is like to be a great-grandmother." I said she was right and that I had only been a mother for 9 weeks, but I was not going to wake up my baby for her convenience.


----------



## umami_mommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PumpkinSeeds* 
My MIL said that by nursing my ds I was going to turn him into a homosexual.

wow, i can't even get my mind around what kind of insane stupid logic that might be...









how come the whole human race wasn't gay 150 years ago??? wow, that one goes on the top 10!


----------



## illinoismommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MysticHealerMom* 
When I was pg at Thanksgiving, my uncle, who thinks he's the head of the family, came and sat down next to me. All showy and fatherly he leans over and says

"Ya know, parenting is hard work."

I just wanted him to go away. I leaned over and said

"Well... Duh."

He didn't know what to say. I realized he had this whole head of steam, prly a monologue about how you just can't prepare, such a challenge, yada yada. He just got up and left. I told my mom about it later. I was all, what the?? And she and her sister laughed their butts off because he thinks he's so wise and everyone wants to hear what he has to say. Blow hard. Hubby and I totally changed our lives around so we could do the kids thing, I thought it was pretty obvious we were taking it seriously. I guess not to everyone...

way from the first page but....


----------



## Awaken

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Irma Lisette* 
Another story, about why I wasn't breastfed (I just found this out a week after my DS was born and had to explain to my mom because she didnt know!).

When I was born, the nurses said my mom had to breastfeed for 10 minutes on each breast every 3 hours. They would weigh me before and after each feeding, so they would know how much milk I got. When I didn't get enough milk, they would have my mom supplement with formula. Of course this was basically all the time, since her milk hadn't come in yet!!! And because they wouldn't let her bf for more than 10 minutes per breast, it didn't help the milk supply at all. After a week my mom had to give up because they said she didn't have enough milk. Well DUH!!!
I guess back then (1977) they didn't realize that it takes while for the milk to come in and that you just have to let the baby suck as much as possible to bring on the milk supply. But I just can't believe they WEIGHED me to find out how much milk I got!!!







:

Sad that this isn't even THAT long ago! But unfortunately, things haven't changed too much- I currently still hear stories about women giving birth in hospitals who are told they must supplement b/c their milk isn't in on day 1 or 2

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sugarlumpkin* 
I said she was right and that I had only been a mother for 9 weeks, but I was not going to wake up my baby for her convenience.











My MIL kept asking me, hours after the birth, how often I fed him and how long would he eat for. I think it's a true lack of exposure and experience whatsoever with bf'ing- they really have no idea so are asking. My FIL was like 'he is eating so often, you need to get a pump to give yourself a break!'


----------



## Minerva

Quote:


Originally Posted by *itsybitsy25* 
My FIL was like 'he is eating so often, you need to get a pump to give yourself a break!'

Sadly, that's the same thing our ped told me at 2 weeks.

So, let's be logical: If the baby is eating that often, and you would need to pump at least that often to keep up with demand, how exactly does that give you a break?







Not to mention cleaning and filling bottles, and all the extra work that entails ....

[It was then that I realized that the ped is, shall we say, not as well-informed about breastfeeding as she had said when we interviewed her, btw.]


----------



## MelissaEvans

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AmyJayne19* 
And soothers, they always want to put a soother in his mouth when i know he just wants to eat. Like come on, you tell them this but nope, they know he just needs a soother to suck on. That's what i'm for. And i'm quite happy doing it.

I love this article: http://www.wiessinger.baka.com/bfing...ks/hungry.html "Pacifiers are sugarless gum for babies - an imitation of what a baby really needs. You already have two of the real thing!" And here http://people.clarityconnect.com/web...ks/howeat.html "My baby often wants to eat again just 10 minutes or so after he's finished. In the early days, his hunger is driven partly by a hormone called (get ready) cholecystokinin, or CCK. A high level tells him he's full, a low level tells him he's hungry. After roughly 20 minutes of sucking, his level of CCK tells him he's full&#8230; but it drops again after another 10 or 20 minutes, so he thinks he's hungry again. He may go through this loop several times, in what's known as "cluster feeding," before dropping into a solid, longer sleep. Perhaps this system allows him to fill his whole digestive system so that he can afford to take a longer sleep without risking excess hunger. Your milk is fully digested in about 90 minutes, so you can see why he might want to tank up several times before taking a serious break. And you can see why fooling him with a pacifier can interfere with his weight gain. Remember, it was sucking, not swallowing, that made him feel full."


----------



## feministmom

Okay, this one wasn't actually said to me...My step-father was telling me (right before dd was born) that when his first was born, his mother told him he had to get rid of his cat. She said the cat would smell milk on the baby's and try to suffocate her! He was telling me the story as a way to illustrate all the stupid stuff people tell you when you have a baby...but I'm such a nervous nelly that when dd was born I actually worried about the cat suffocating her! At the time I was so mad at him for giving me something I never would have thought of to worry about. But of course, the cats could care less about dd and I've relaxed!


----------



## Harmony96

Quote:


Originally Posted by *feministmom* 
She said the cat would smell milk on the baby's and try to suffocate her!

This rumor is actually going around in THIS generation still. My old boss has 5-yr-old twins, and when they were soon to be born, their DOCTOR (!) said that the cat would smell the milk, try to put their HEAD IN THE BABY'S MOUTH to try to get all the milk, and suffocate it that way.


----------



## Lady Lilya

About 10 years ago, my neighbor had a baby. They got rid of their cat. Poor kitty.

My parents had 2 cats when I was born. They said all the cats did was want to sleep near me for warmth when I was still too young to move and bother them. Once I got big enough to pull on them or poke them, they wanted nothing to do with me.


----------



## minkajane

We had two cats when DS was born. When he was 8 months old, we got him a kitten. That kitten slept next to DS during his naps from day one and still cuddles with him whenever he gets the chance. None of my cats ever tried to smother DS.


----------



## In Exile

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Minerva* 
Sadly, that's the same thing our ped told me at 2 weeks.

So, let's be logical: If the baby is eating that often, and you would need to pump at least that often to keep up with demand, how exactly does that give you a break?







Not to mention cleaning and filling bottles, and all the extra work that entails ....

[It was then that I realized that the ped is, shall we say, not as well-informed about breastfeeding as she had said when we interviewed her, btw.]

What a logic! When DS was sick at the Level II Unit I had to pump and about the first week at home, nice double duty, I almost wanted to throw the pump out of the window- there you are, trying to breastfeed and have the double work compared to either nursing and Bottlefeeding. Haaated that- there's your breastmilk and you still have to stick a bottle into his mouth







- so glad that's mostly over. Only pumping occasionally for hunger emergencies now.


----------



## feministmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
When he was 8 months old, we got him a kitten. That kitten slept next to DS during his naps from day one and still cuddles with him whenever he gets the chance.

Awwww....how cute!

I think our 2 cats have been afraid of dd since day 1. They don't go anywhere near her and if they're sleeping on our bed when I bring dd in, they run away!


----------



## umami_mommy

my son (almost 5) can clear the bedroom of sleeping cats faster than just about anything...







they just hear him coming and FLY off the bed!!

but yesterday i took a picture of our 3 cats sleeping on the bed with dd. they weren't anywhere near her. they sometimes do dumb stuff like step on her to get to me to scratch them, but they don't try to snuggle up to her. if anything they really avoid even stepping on the sheepskin she sleeps on. they have all sniffed her, but seem very unimpressed. cats!









(my ex-MIL's cats did seem to enjoy sleeping in the babysitting crib, but i think it's becuase the toddlers couldn't get them in there!)


----------



## feministmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *honeybeedreams* 
but yesterday i took a picture of our 3 cats sleeping on the bed with dd.

How cute! Share, please?

While we were at the hospital having dd, one cat decided that the contour changing pad was his new bed! So we came home and went to change dd and the whole changing pad was covered in cat hair! Luckily, he hasn't done that since then. He has slept in her crib a few times...mostly before she actually used and and it was full of stuff. he found a nice little space for himself between some stuffed animals. After dd started using her crib, I usually lay her blanket down ready for me to swaddle her after nursing...once I found Tillman (the cat) snuggled up in the crib, under the blanket! Now I keep the door to dd's room closed.


----------



## Kateana

I've heard the cat suffocation thing too. I guess I was just a bit concerned with one of our cats, b/c he loves to eat food out of our mouths, if we let him (and he LOVES milk). Actually, I haven't let him in a LONG time, but he still gets in there to smell my breath. One of our cats is so in love with DD; she even lays on and licks DDs toys, books, puzzles, whatever. It's so cute to see her coming to DD for love. The other cats avoid DD for the most part because she likes to climb on top of them for hugs.


----------



## sugarlumpkin

So far (my baby is 10 weeks today) neither of my cats has tried to suffocate him! In fact, neither of them want to be anywhere near him! (Which I am not sad about, seeing as I already pick enough cat fur off of him for my taste.)


----------



## In Exile

We have three furry ones. One is the ultimate protective mothercat- everytime DS starts crying she parades up and down, meowing as if to tell me: He's not happy, now do something about it. She is also the cat that let out two other cats nurse, although they were not her kittens and she certainly was not lactating- but they all enjoyed it for comfort.


----------



## jenP

Quote:


Originally Posted by *feministmom* 
While we were at the hospital having dd, one cat decided that the contour changing pad was his new bed! So we came home and went to change dd and the whole changing pad was covered in cat hair!

LOL! I've found that ANYTHING you have in the house for the purpose of putting the baby on or in, the cats think is for them. Our cat had a phase there for a while where he slept on that contour changing pad every night. And of course they love cribs, bassinets... they were thrilled with the moses basket (good thing since both babies hated it.) Gotta love cats.

Jen


----------



## LiLStar

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jenP* 
LOL! I've found that ANYTHING you have in the house for the purpose of putting the baby on or in, the cats think is for them.

No kidding!

http://www.comwired.com/cats/athenaboppy.jpg and if you can't tell, the boppy is sitting in the cosleeper


----------



## umami_mommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LiLStar* 
No kidding!

http://www.comwired.com/cats/athenaboppy.jpg and if you can't tell, the boppy is sitting in the cosleeper









awe! my cats loved the co-sleeper too, esp since ds never used it. i have many photos of my little cat in all of ds' stuff.


----------



## feministmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LiLStar* 
No kidding!

http://www.comwired.com/cats/athenaboppy.jpg and if you can't tell, the boppy is sitting in the cosleeper









That picture is adorable!!! I feel like we need a thread about babies/kids and animals...bet there's a lot of cure stories! Would that go in LWAB? Or where?


----------



## MommyofPunkiePie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *In Exile* 
She is also the cat that let out two other cats nurse, although they were not her kittens and she certainly was not lactating- but they all enjoyed it for comfort.

I have a male cat (Tygger -- came with a name







) who did this for two kittens I adopted. The kittens were not nurslings anymore, and Tygger was only about 13 months old. The other male kitty still kneads Tygger's belly, and his sister will lay completely on top of Tygger.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *feministmom* 
Okay, this one wasn't actually said to me...My step-father was telling me (right before dd was born) that when his first was born, his mother told him he had to get rid of his cat. She said the cat would smell milk on the baby's and try to suffocate her! He was telling me the story as a way to illustrate all the stupid stuff people tell you when you have a baby...but I'm such a nervous nelly that when dd was born I actually worried about the cat suffocating her! At the time I was so mad at him for giving me something I never would have thought of to worry about. But of course, the cats could care less about dd and I've relaxed!

You know what I just realized? That theory is even *more* stupid in a country where adults regularly drink dairy. I know I've never woken up to a mouthful of cat hair when I've taken a nap on the couch after a big glass of milk (or a bowl of oatmeal--mine like oatmeal better) and the cats regularly lay on my chest when I nap there.


----------



## Lady Lilya

Somewhere on YouTube I saw a video collage of cute cat things, and one of them was a cat licking a baby.


----------



## Unreal

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lady Lilya* 
Somewhere on YouTube I saw a video collage of cute cat things, and one of them was a cat licking a baby.

we have a hilarious picture of our cat licking our youngest when he was just a day or two old

She (the cat) looks all sorts of happy and content, sitting there with the baby--who looks SO MAD

we got the pic and then shooed her away









yep...parental priorities


----------



## Lohagrace

I've seen posted or discussed way too many times on other pregnancy/baby websites things like "i'm pregnant--do i have to get rid of my cat now?" and then asking things like "i've heard when you are pregnant your cat can make you sick. i really don't want to get rid of my cat!" its so idiotic. people just hear a half-truth and assume its true. you are on the internet! do some research!

i used to work at an SPCA and a lady called and said "i need to bring my cat in. i just had a baby" i was pg at the time with dd. i was like "yeah, so?" and she said "well, you know, the litter box and everything" i was like, "your baby is a newborn. the only way he will come into contact with the litterbox is if you set him in there!" and she was like "i just can't deal with it. i need to get rid of my cat." whatever.

people are so weird/stupid. see as evidence this loooooooooong thread full of the stupidest things i've ever heard!


----------



## Lady Lilya

Some people have no close relationship with their pets. They see them as a source of entertainment, with a cost. When the cost grows more inconvenient, they no longer find it worth it to keep the little furry entertainer.

I could never be like that with my cats. Tia has been with me for more than 13 years. I know I mean a lot to her. I know it would crush her if I ever had to send her away from me for any reason.


----------



## Awaken

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Minerva* 

So, let's be logical: If the baby is eating that often, and you would need to pump at least that often to keep up with demand, how exactly does that give you a break?







Not to mention cleaning and filling bottles, and all the extra work that entails ....

Yeah, exactly







And right after birth, I"d much rather have my newborn snuggled up to me nursing than attached to a pump and washing bottles!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LiLStar* 
No kidding!

http://www.comwired.com/cats/athenaboppy.jpg and if you can't tell, the boppy is sitting in the cosleeper









That is SO sweet!









Quote:


Originally Posted by *feministmom* 
That picture is adorable!!! I feel like we need a thread about babies/kids and animals...bet there's a lot of cure stories! Would that go in LWAB? Or where?

That would be so cute. I'm sure there would be lots of contributions.


----------



## LiLStar

Quote:


Originally Posted by *itsybitsy25* 
Yeah, exactly







And right after birth, I"d much rather have my newborn snuggled up to me nursing than attached to a pump and washing bottles!

seriously! when my dd was 2 weeks old i had really bad cracked nipples that hurt SO bad to nurse that i pumped and fingerfed. that only lasted like half a day because the pump was annoying, the fingerfeeding took forever, and i missed the closeness of nursing. but it wasnt so painful after that







and i just







nursing my sweet baby


----------



## umami_mommy

okay it took me a while to figure out what the dumbest thing i ever heard was:

a woman i know took her son to the ped we both used (used is the opperative word here) and not only did she retract the baby's foreskin, then then went on to say that they needed to "manipulate" his foreskin/penis at each diaper change to "make sure the foreskin retracted correctly."









uh, yeah. okay. just how many intact penises have you actually seen???


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *itsybitsy25* 
Yeah, exactly







And right after birth, I"d much rather have my newborn snuggled up to me nursing than attached to a pump and washing bottles.

Dh's cousin ended up EPing for 6 months thanks to bad advice given at the start of her breastfeeding relationship. She's now pregnant with her second child and has already started talking to LCs and such to make sure that breastfeeding works this time. So there you have it, pumping is so much more work that it's worth working your butt off to avoid it.


----------



## jenP

Quote:


Originally Posted by *feministmom* 
That picture is adorable!!! I feel like we need a thread about babies/kids and animals...bet there's a lot of cure stories! Would that go in LWAB? Or where?

Athena looks so cute on that boppy!

Yeah, lets start a spinoff thread on LWAB. I'll have to dig up those photos of the cats in the moses basket and figure out my scanner...

Jen


----------



## moppity

Quote:


Originally Posted by *honeybeedreams* 
okay it took me a while to figure out what the dumbest thing i ever heard was:

a woman i know took her son to the ped we both used (used is the opperative word here) and not only did she retract the baby's foreskin, then then went on to say that they needed to "manipulate" his foreskin/penis at each diaper change to "make sure the foreskin retracted correctly."









uh, yeah. okay. just how many intact penises have you actually seen???

OMG I got constant lectures from my MIL about this (just found out last week I'm pregnant with a girl). About how she used to do this to DH and there's nothing wrong with his penis (which yes, I agree with but not like I'm going to tell her







) and that if we have a boy he should be retracted at every change and she used to 'stretch' DH at every change as well to make sure it was OK







: Lucky he is still intact with the amount of crap she did.


----------



## vloky

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Irma Lisette* 

When I was born, the nurses said my mom had to breastfeed for 10 minutes on each breast every 3 hours. They would weigh me before and after each feeding, so they would know how much milk I got. When I didn't get enough milk, they would have my mom supplement with formula. Of course this was basically all the time, since her milk hadn't come in yet!!! And because they wouldn't let her bf for more than 10 minutes per breast, it didn't help the milk supply at all. After a week my mom had to give up because they said she didn't have enough milk. Well DUH!!!
I guess back then (1977) they didn't realize that it takes while for the milk to come in and that you just have to let the baby suck as much as possible to bring on the milk supply. But I just can't believe they WEIGHED me to find out how much milk I got!!!







:

The nurse when I had my son told me to only feed 10 minutes each side every two hours too! I didn't listen and just lied whenever she asked so I didn't have to deal with her craziness.


----------



## sunnymw

I could probably fill pages... I live in probably the most mainstream town on the planet...

When pregnant, I saw 3 OBs... one (that I stopped seeing) told me that A) I should just go ahead and go for the cadillac epidural, since that's what all the women did anyway, B) I was gaining too much weight and would probably need a c/s, and C) "*I don't know what you've seen on TV, but all that water-tub stuff is a bunch of lies. It doesn't exist"*... nooo way
OB number 2 (she was really sweet. I really loved her bedside manner. In fact, she probably could have given me an episiotomy to my ankles but if she'd said "you really needed it honey" I probably would have said ok... lol... ) said that she *HAD to clamp the cord as soon as the body was out, otherwise all of the baby's blood would drain out.*

I did have my no-pain-meds labor (with pitocin, since my water had broken and my TIME was running out), then as I was so exhausted, I asked for a epi (DH wasn't exactly a good advocate lol, and I was 10cm already but LORD I just wanted a NAP). It took them 3 tries to get it in (I slept through it... yes I was THAT tired, just woke up for ctx), and as soon as I flipped to my back they could see the baby's head... and so no more epi drugs (I had about five minutes of numbness, so I had a pointless epi). But they had me lay FLAT on my back and push because otherwise I'd get an epidural headache, and *laying flat HELPED THE BABY NAVIGATE AROUND MY HIPS*.
Two hours after my son was born they brought him to me, said he couldn't latch, and took him away for two more hours until they could FIND a shield (flat nipples).

Okay on to the pediatrician. Due to the shield DS had lost nine percent of his birth weight (8lbs 1oz to 7lbs 6oz) and my milk was late coming in. Ped says that if my milk didn't come in by that night (four days old) we'd have to supplement. The next time we went to see him, he'd gained well (w/o supp), but was crying a bit and ped said *WE HAVE A FORMULA THAT CURES THAT!*... no thanks, I'll just stop the dairy. And the time after that, I had a nurse give me dirty looks for having DS in a sling, and then even dirtier looks when she had to mark off that YES, he had met EVERY SINGLE MILESTONE FOR HIS AGE.
I was told by my ped to start *rice cereal at 3 1/2 months, and then veggies, because if he has FRUIT first, he won't eat the veggies!!!* (We chose this guy because we are limited w/ insurance, and we figured that since he's SO YOUNG AND FRESH OUT OF MED SCHOOL, he might know SOMEthing...). I just nod my head and smile, and apologize to the nurse who couldn't even believe he hasn't been circ'd or had any formula... yada yada...

However, I have *never gotten an explanation or hand-out on ANY vax info...* at all... zero... infact I never even signed consent at the hospital for his HepB... but for his 2month and 4month vax they just say "Here's his shots, initial by the X's" (and I was stupid enough...)

I'm torn between switching peds now, or going to the next appt just so I can see the look on my dr's face when I tell him at six months STILL no solids, and NO, you are not shooting him up. I think I'd be the only one in history here...









I won't even start on all the standards that have already been mentioned in the last 191 pages (YES I READ THEM ALL). Don't want to be redundant.

However, the funny thing in this family is, when people say DS looks like me... "You know what they say... mama's baby, daddy's maybe!" Poor DH...

I'll come back with more, I'm sure... =D


----------



## sunnymw

One more gem:

From several people: Oh, you didn't have him circumcised? What a shame, you'll have to change his diaper so much more!

As in... it's more sanitary to let a circ'd penis sit in waste???

LOL... riiiiight...

Not that it matters, we EC


----------



## MommyofPunkiePie

Sunny,
You cracked me up!







You also made me very thankful that I have a girl...


----------



## treqi

nobody ever says anything to me but i think thats cause i question how they parent first.... I grilled my MIL about why dh was circ'ed (he's very anti circ) and why she didn't switch back to BFing after she found out formula made dh spit up too.... i guess MIL thinks the sling is weird and cant imagine why i wouldnt use a stroller but never really said anything bad about it..... my own mother bfed my bro and i for over a year each and i think i was weaned cause her milk dried up when she got preggers..... i guess i'm just lucky.........wait my great uncle told me i couldn't go rowing(not like the hardcore racing more like fishing row boat) when i was 4mo preggers cause i would exaust myself and made my little bro take me.......


----------



## jenP

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sunnymw* 
One more gem:

From several people: Oh, you didn't have him circumcised? What a shame, you'll have to change his diaper so much more!

whoa, that's a new one!!! and here I thought you change diapers when the baby has peed or pooped, but I guess you just put them on a schedule: 4 diapers a day for a cut boy, 6 diapers a day for a girl, 10 diapers a day for an intact boy...

Jen


----------



## J's Mombee

Ok... here is one that I forgot... probably bc I was soooo embarressed by my dumb response:

My ds likes hair, and apparently, he loves my hair... so, sometimes he touches it, most of the time he pulls it. Well, he was 6 months old, and my aunt was visiting. He pulled my hair, and I said: no, and removed his hand, then offered him a squishy book that we played with together. Granted, he probably had no clue what I meant when I said "no," but my goal was to give him something else to grab and have fun with.

My aunt appeared really upset and said: "spare the rod, spoil the child," and suggested that I start "popping" ds now, so that he doesn't get out of hand. I just stared at her. Surprised. I didn't know what to say... So, I just said: "uh... ok" and went into another room and played with ds.

In retrospect I should have thrown her out of my house... but she was so annoyed with me, she didn't want to stay anymore and said that she would talk with me later. I haven't seen her in quite a while, since that visit.

PS: I know that I should have said more. Not only am I against hit my little baby... I have no intentions of hitting ds at all. I don't think that hitting is effective in helping children... and I don't believe that not-hitting kids is spoiling them... Wow... if all you have to do is NOT hit kids then they are spoiled or somehow privileged, the standards are pretty low.


----------



## yvonnemlv

Quote:


Originally Posted by *treqi* 
wait my great uncle told me i couldn't go rowing(not like the hardcore racing more like fishing row boat) when i was 4mo preggers cause i would exaust myself and made my little bro take me.......

How funny! *wink* Let him know that someone who normally doesn't row, rowed a boat on a windy day at 37 weeks pregnant. It was my birthday and what I wanted to do, lol.


----------



## sugarlumpkin

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LJ's Momma* 
My aunt appeared really upset and said: "spare the rod, spoil the child," and suggested that I start "popping" ds now, so that he doesn't get out of hand. I just stared at her. Surprised. I didn't know what to say... So, I just said: "uh... ok" and went into another room and played with ds.

Oh my god. She actually wants you to HIT a 6 month old baby?!?!?! That's got to be child abuse.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LJ's Momma* 
In retrospect I should have thrown her out of my house... but she was so annoyed with me, she didn't want to stay anymore and said that she would talk with me later. I haven't seen her in quite a while, since that visit.

She was annoyed with you?!?!?!







: I think your idea to kick her out was a good one.









Sheesh! I am totally shocked by your post! (Thus all the exclamation points...)


----------



## Minaret

The most persistent stupid thing I've heard from mostly my family (My Mom and sister in law seem to be the most uninformed) and other people is that my cat will get jealous and suck the life out of my baby.

This myth got started because supposedly cats like to snuggle up to babies.
My cat doesn't want anything to do with my baby, she just wants the attention she used to get from me. She will try to walk on ds when I am nursing him in bed, because she is used to walking on my tummy, too. I stop her of course.

People have always said that cats are interested in breastmilk. I tried to let my cat try a sample in a bowl and she was definitely not interested!!
If anything, she is just annoying right now because she has always been a very needy kittycat. She is part siamese, so she is constantly meowing.
It sometimes wakes ds up from his nap, and this is the only trouble we have with a cat in the house. DS loves to watch her, and now that he is 6 mo old, he wants to grab her. (We have to be careful with that!). Every time I say to him, "Here comes kittycat," he turns and looks and gets excited, so its good to have a cat or pet around. Also good so that they don't get allergies.


----------



## Lohagrace

Today my dd went to the dentist for the 1st time. the dentist said "does she still use a bottle?" and i said, "no, she never used one. she still nurses, though" and the dentist said "we recommend that you stop nursing at age 2, and no bottles at night" and i asked "why?" she said "it just encourages independence. you know, eating independently...being more independent"







:

so...like...no real reason? being more "independent" isn't a reason to wean at some random "recommended" age. it really pissed me off. i didn't say anything (i have a problem with confronting people) but i wanted to tell her that i really disagreed with giving this kind of "advice" with no real reason. its not like dd doesn't eat food! and she is one of the MOST independent kids you will ever meet--very outgoing, trusting and loves to spend the weekend at grandma or grandpa's house without mom and dad!


----------



## MelissaEvans

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lohagrace* 
Today my dd went to the dentist for the 1st time. the dentist said "does she still use a bottle?" and i said, "no, she never used one. she still nurses, though" and the dentist said "we recommend that you stop nursing at age 2, and no bottles at night" and i asked "why?" she said "it just encourages independence. you know, eating independently...being more independent"







:

'Cause heaven knows we all go to our dentists for parenting advice. I mean, ped's don't offer enough non-medical information, so of course we need it from more people not trained in child development!


----------



## Ellp

That independance thing is just parenting advice, not dental advice. Ignore it! Thats not what you go to the dentist for!









Besides, when you said your Dd never used a bottle, didn't the dentist get the hint? Why then say no bottles at night? (I know there is a very good reason for no bottles at night, but not in your case.)


----------



## sweetaspickles

my mother told me she would call cps on me if I didn't vaccinate my ds

















pretty much my husbands whole family told me that I wouldn't be able to breastfeed


----------



## Lohagrace

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MelissaEvans* 
'Cause heaven knows we all go to our dentists for parenting advice. I mean, ped's don't offer enough non-medical information, so of course we need it from more people not trained in child development!


Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ellp* 
That independance thing is just parenting advice, not dental advice. Ignore it! Thats not what you go to the dentist for!









Besides, when you said your Dd never used a bottle, didn't the dentist get the hint? Why then say no bottles at night? (I know there is a very good reason for no bottles at night, but not in your case.)

Oh, i know. its such a load of







i make no excuses or explanations when it comes to extended nursing. if anybody has a problem with it, its THEIR problem, not mine and certainly not dd's problem. i totally ignored it. its just annoying...i feel like for every parent like me, there are 6 parents who will say "well, you know *they* say..." and base their parenting on that. i switched pediatricians because he told me to let my 6 month old CIO. i figure the dentist will be offering me limited advice, so i don't really care what her opinions are on EBF or whatever.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lohagrace* 
Today my dd went to the dentist for the 1st time. the dentist said "does she still use a bottle?" and i said, "no, she never used one. she still nurses, though" and the dentist said "we recommend that you stop nursing at age 2, and no bottles at night" and i asked "why?" she said "it just encourages independence. you know, eating independently...being more independent"







:

So did you ask to see the dentist's degree in child psychology?


----------



## RedPony

Quote:

My grandma, who has been really supportive of me bfing dd ("I bf all 5 of my kids!") said that the first time each of her kids bit her was the last time she nursed them.
My MIL said this over and over when Lily was 0 - 4 months... so, I got bit eventually, she found out, and WOW, I didn't stop bfing!







Now she says, "I'll bet you just chew chew chew on your mom all the time!" Bleh.


----------



## ~gilli~

The nurse at my school told me I could not eat spicy food, because my baby could die. I asked her what people in India did, and she huffed and walked away, lol.


----------



## ~gilli~

I have also had people tell me that I am to fat to breastfeed, because I will smother the baby. Whatever.


----------



## roomformore

When my son was about 3 months old I was changing his diaper at my Grandma's house. He was really squirmy and she told me that if I would just start swatting his bum now he'd stop moving like that and it'd be easier to change him.







:

She's told me twice now that I'm trying to kill my dd. Once when I told her we were planning a homebirth and the other time was when she found out we were co-sleeping. The co-sleeping comment was almost funny b/c I told here that "Gee, Grandma, we co-clept with the boys for 6.5 yrs in a queen and it'll be just us and one baby in a king this time." She had no idea our boys had slept with us until baby arrived!

My FIL (MD in family practice) told us that if we always wore baby in a carrier and she didn't get any alone time, how would she learn to be independent? Dh asked him at what age he thought baby would feed herself and change her own diaper so we would know when we could leave her by herself.

Someone once asked us if our twins ever had trouble telling each other apart.


----------



## ramlita

Quote:


Originally Posted by *roomformore* 
Someone once asked us if our twins ever had trouble telling each other apart.


----------



## catnip

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~gilli~* 
I have also had people tell me that I am to fat to breastfeed, because I will smother the baby. Whatever.

I weighed over 330 pounds at one point while breastfeeding. Whatever indeed.


----------



## J's Mombee

Quote:


Originally Posted by *catnip* 
I weighed over 330 pounds at one point while breastfeeding. Whatever indeed.

I had someone ask me what the point was of my bfing bc I wasnt losing enough weight while I was doing it. I mean like DUHHHH!!!! BFing may help to get the weight off but it is not a weight loss plan and I didnt choose this for my benefit but for my kid's benefit. I really dont like idiots


----------



## anubis

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lady Lilya* 
Somewhere on YouTube I saw a video collage of cute cat things, and one of them was a cat licking a baby.

This one?


----------



## 2 in August

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~gilli~* 
I have also had people tell me that I am to fat to breastfeed, because I will smother the baby. Whatever.

I was told that I couldn't bf because I was too fat too.


----------



## angrypixiemama

I find that SO horrible that someone would say that. I am a bigger mom, but that just means that I didn't need a boppy or too many pillows. My baby loves to snuggle into me, and it isn't dangerous for her to do so. Some people really talk without thinking, I guess.


----------



## Dov'sMom

I'm about 300 pounds right now (give or take -- haven't seen a scale since my last prenatal visit







) and I guess I sort of see what they're talking about. When my son was born I had a lot of trouble finding a position I could nurse him in wihthout having to sort of twist my very droopy breast out of his nose.

But even so I had a much better time bfing than my 150 lb sister, so it's not weight.

Doesn't excuse them.


----------



## dentmom3

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2 in August* 
I was told that I couldn't bf because I was too fat too.

I was told my breasts were too small so I guess it goes both ways...


----------



## Awaken

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lohagrace* 
Today my dd went to the dentist for the 1st time. the dentist said "does she still use a bottle?" and i said, "no, she never used one. she still nurses, though" and the dentist said "we recommend that you stop nursing at age 2, and no bottles at night" and i asked "why?" she said "it just encourages independence. you know, eating independently...being more independent"







:

OMG that is outrageous- what does 'teaching them independence' have to do with the dental health, anyway? I hate to think of how many moms took his wacko advice and stopped nursing.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MelissaEvans* 
'Cause heaven knows we all go to our dentists for parenting advice. I mean, ped's don't offer enough non-medical information, so of course we need it from more people not trained in child development!









:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *roomformore* 
When my son was about 3 months old I was changing his diaper at my Grandma's house. He was really squirmy and she told me that if I would just start swatting his bum now he'd stop moving like that and it'd be easier to change him.







:

Sadly, one of my old friends does just that (we were friends when we were younger, and we've obviously gone in opposite directions in the parenting philosophy department!) She was confused when I said we do not hit our babies, 'then how do you get them to stop wiggling when you change their diaper? I find a wooden spoon works wonders- often I don't even have to use it, just threatening her does the trick!' And she has a new baby- I am so tempted to ask if he's been introduced to the wooden spoon yet- so sad that I know what that poor baby has to look forward to for doing normal baby behavior!


----------



## Lohagrace

Sadly, one of my old friends does just that (we were friends when we were younger, and we've obviously gone in opposite directions in the parenting philosophy department!) She was confused when I said we do not hit our babies, 'then how do you get them to stop wiggling when you change their diaper? I find a wooden spoon works wonders- often I don't even have to use it, just threatening her does the trick!' And she has a new baby- I am so tempted to ask if he's been introduced to the wooden spoon yet- so sad that I know what that poor baby has to look forward to for doing normal baby behavior![/QUOTE]








:







:







:







:







:


----------



## Lady Lilya

Quote:


Originally Posted by *anubis* 
This one?

YES!


----------



## Sanveann

I have a few good ones, though nothing quite as appalling as some of the ones here!

From my mom: "It's just disgusting to breastfeed after the baby has teeth."

From my MIL, when my pregnant self mentioned I was avoiding the room where DH was putting up some new trim: "That's good, because if you breathe in sawdust, the baby could get conjunctivitis." I said, "In the WOMB?" She said, "Oh, definitely!"

My MIL also is distraught that I don't want to give our DS a pacifier. She told DH, "But then he might suck his thumb instead!!!!" (Oh, the horror! Besides, I'd rather have my kid suck his thumb then refuse to give up his pacifier till age 5, like her youngest did.)


----------



## lovesea

DS was born by c-section in the middle of a very hot summer. DH is Turkish and we live in Istanbul. Turks have this thing about not being barefoot. Walking around barefoot can result in all kinds of health problems. So, what with the hot weather and the limited mobility, my feet had swollen to twice their size and it was sweet relief to walk around barefoot on the cool stone floortiles. FIL told me several times that I'd better put some slippers on. I just ignored him. Eventually he got really mad and said that if I wanted to get ill that was fine but that I'd end up making ds ill. I asked him how, he explained that being barefoot would make me get gas in my stomach which would result in ds getting gas because it would get into my breastmilk. He was really seriously worried about this and really angry at me for not listening to him. I got so fed up, that I asked the ped about this (not that I believed it for a minute but just so that I could say, 'Well I asked the doc and...), and she said that of course that was nonsense but that I should always wear slippers anyway because I might end up getting an infection


----------



## meagansroses

okay I got one

Dh and I are trying to pick out names right now for the little girl on the way and of course all the relatives have to throw in their two cents. Well, mil said to me "you can't name her Samantha, Tabitha, or Sabrina." and I was like "why". She said " cause if you do she'll turn into a witch".







I'm staring at her with my mouth hanging open like huh. I couldn't think of a good response. In my head I'm thinking " what would be so bad about being a witch anyways and wouldn't she go nuts if she knew half the rituals I perform"







:

so later dh and I are looking through the book, and he says "how about Tabitha".







I said we can't and told him the story. He laughed so hard he almost pee'd his pants. He then proceeds to call his mother and ask her what she thought of the name Tabitha. ( ya think he was egging her on a bit) She said the same thing to him as she had to me.

So he tries to explain that those are tv character names and no different than a book character that they are fictional. He said " so mom, if they had called it 'Linda the Teenage witch' (mil's name is linda) than everyone in the world with the name Linda would become a witch, right! I think she got the point cause she didn't say anything for while and they switched topics. After that I have gotten no unwanted advice on naming from the inlaws








okay that's my funny--keep em coming ladies!!


----------



## minkajane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *meagansroses* 
Dh and I are trying to pick out names right now for the little girl on the way and of course all the relatives have to throw in their two cents. Well, mil said to me "you can't name her Samantha, Tabitha, or Sabrina." and I was like "why". She said " cause if you do she'll turn into a witch".







I'm staring at her with my mouth hanging open like huh. I couldn't think of a good response. In my head I'm thinking " what would be so bad about being a witch anyways and wouldn't she go nuts if she knew half the rituals I perform"







:

I'm Wiccan. When my uncle found out I was pregnant, he immediately began talking about little Tabitha.


----------



## MommyofPunkiePie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *meagansroses* 
Dh and I are trying to pick out names right now for the little girl on the way and of course all the relatives have to throw in their two cents. Well, mil said to me "you can't name her Samantha, Tabitha, or Sabrina." and I was like "why". She said " cause if you do she'll turn into a witch".










Sounds like I should put a spell on her!


----------



## majorsky

One of the moms in my neighborhood prides herself on her attachment-breaking parenting techniques. She bragged about it to me privately until last week, when she proudly announced her newest discipline method in our playgroup of 5 moms and babies. She said when her 11-month-old DS tantrums, she now threatens to flick him with her fingers. One of the moms asked *where* she flicks her son and she said "in the palm." She also swears that just threatening him with the flick gets him to stop tantruming.

I was HOPING one of the other moms would flash me a look like "oh lord" but no one did... unfortunately one of the younger moms seemed interested in trying the flicking technique... that younger mom has also tried some other of the first mom's parenting methods (like CIO), much to my chagrin. I feel like pulling her aside and just telling her she should do some reading on these methods _first_ before employing them with her own child. *sheesh*

Kristin


----------



## Shenjall

I remembered one from when my first was a year...

I lived in an apt and next door to me was another young mom and her dd who was the same age as my ds. She said that if you give your kid cheerios to munch on, its okay cause if they get stuck, they have a hole in the middle so they'll still be able to breathe.

The worst part, I believed her!! And then went on to tell anyone who was a mom too.







: So, if any of you out there have heard that, I'm sorry!!


----------



## meagansroses

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shenjall* 
I remembered one from when my first was a year...

I lived in an apt and next door to me was another young mom and her dd who was the same age as my ds. She said that if you give your kid cheerios to munch on, its okay cause if they get stuck, they have a hole in the middle so they'll still be able to breathe.

The worst part, I believed her!! And then went on to tell anyone who was a mom too.







: So, if any of you out there have heard that, I'm sorry!!

I was told the same thing







though I doubt it was you who told me. There are some real doozies on here I must say.


----------



## FarmerCathy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *meagansroses* 
I was told the same thing







though I doubt it was you who told me. There are some real doozies on here I must say.

It's kinda like livesavers right. That's why there called lifesavers cuz they have the hole in the middle.


----------



## Muaile

My seemingly intelligent mother warned me as I was reaching up to a shelf, not to stretch too far or I'd choke the baby....

I asked her how she thought that might happen and she told me she didn't know but it was true.

I told her I thought they say not to stretch as your ligaments are softer from hormones... she didn't believe me!!!







:


----------



## brightonwoman

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2 in August* 
I was told that I couldn't bf because I was too fat too.

What a load of bs! I'm not big, but my boobies are...I'm a G cup (on a little 135lb girl) and ya know what? I've actually been concerned that my baby woulnd't be able to breathe when nursing...at first I was SO careful to always hold the breast out of the way of his nose and so on...but kids are smart. He's learned to just tilt his head and we don't have any problems at all.
People who make that kind of comment about breastfeeding are the ones who have never done it. Instinct kicks in and babies and mommas tend to be just fine.


----------



## brightonwoman

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Muaile* 
My seemingly intelligent mother warned me as I was reaching up to a shelf, not to stretch too far or I'd choke the baby....

I asked her how she thought that might happen and she told me she didn't know but it was true.

They used to tell pg women to not hang laundry out on th eline, because putting their arms up over their head would cause the baby to strangle in the cord...
...but when I say 'used to' we're talking like 200 years ago...sounds like some rumors never die!


----------



## Harmony96

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cathysteck* 
It's kinda like livesavers right. That's why there called lifesavers cuz they have the hole in the middle.









I started choking on a lifesaver when I was.... way too young to have been given one. Can't remember how old I was. Under 24 months though I think.


----------



## * guest *

The best I've gotten was with my ex roomate/friend who said that her doctor told her to not quit smoking while she was pregnant because her iron levels were low. Ooooookay.... That doctor was obviously not that smart or didn't understand that smoking while pregnant WAS DANGEROUS!!

She also said that smoking while pregnant wouldn't hurt the baby at all. This coming from the same girl who after her first child was born, she changed her shirt after she smoked as if that would prevent the baby from being exposed to the toxins and chemicals since they were only on her shirt and not in her hair or on her skin or hands...







: Not to mention, her womb was a smoker's lounge for 9 months...

Both of her children had low birth weights - her first being around 6 lbs at 2 weeks over his due date and her second being 5 weeks early and weighing only 5 lbs...

She still refuses to believe that her smoking while pregnant had anything to do with that. Yeah, not that bright.


----------



## majorsky

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cathysteck* 
It's kinda like livesavers right. That's why there called lifesavers cuz they have the hole in the middle.









I heard that when I was a kid!!! If you choked on lifesavers, you'd survive because of the hole in the center.









Kristin


----------



## Lady Lilya

Quote:


Originally Posted by *brightonwoman* 
They used to tell pg women to not hang laundry out on th eline, because putting their arms up over their head would cause the baby to strangle in the cord...
...but when I say 'used to' we're talking like 200 years ago...sounds like some rumors never die!

Perhaps that one was created by pregnant women trying to shift some of their housework duties onto other people because they were too worn out. Hmmmm...I wonder if I can come up with something like this to get out of my chores.


----------



## Princessenoire

I was registering my son for soccer (I'm coaching this time - they said I couldn't last season because I was pregnant







: yet I was there the day after I birthed my daughter - her in the Moby, helping me cheer him on) and talking to the head guy about our children. My daughter (4 mos then) started fussing and he asked if she was "taking a pacifier yet". I said, no, but that didn't worry me or surprise me, as she hated bottles too.

"What? HOW DOES SHE EAT?"








:

The worst part was that he had an infant as well. *Choosing* not to breastfeed is one thing, but you'd think he'd at least -know- about it. I didn't actually have a good comeback, so I just stared at him until he walked away. Oh well.


----------



## minkajane

That thing about the lifesavers getting their name from not being able to choke on them is a myth. They got their name from the rings that are thrown into the water to save people that are drowning.


----------



## ecoteat

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Princessenoire* 
I was registering my son for soccer (I'm coaching this time - they said I couldn't last season because I was pregnant







: yet I was there the day after I birthed my daughter - her in the Moby, helping me cheer him on) and talking to the head guy about our children. My daughter (4 mos then) started fussing and he asked if she was "taking a pacifier yet". I said, no, but that didn't worry me or surprise me, as she hated bottles too.

"What? HOW DOES SHE EAT?"








:

The worst part was that he had an infant as well. *Choosing* not to breastfeed is one thing, but you'd think he'd at least -know- about it. I didn't actually have a good comeback, so I just stared at him until he walked away. Oh well.









Once when my sister and I were giving our mom a hard time for not breastfeeding us, she said "it just never occurred to me." How could she not notice her boobs growing and filling with milk?! What did she think they were for?


----------



## srbushey

oh, that one does beat all!


----------



## srbushey

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shenjall* 
Dont forget the "was this pregnancy planned?" questions. Why do people feel the need to ask? I would never ask them something so personal like 'how much money do you make?'. We got this question all the time!

I know this is a really old post, but I love this thread and had to comment: I get this one (due in 5 days here) because I don't work, hubby's in school and we are broke. So I give a really personal answer:

"well, we've been married for almost 3 years and just got to the point where we figured from now on, we'd be fine with it happening. and one month later... well..." and "no, we weren't doing the FA or natural family planning stuff, and I was using the ring for awhile but..." people always give me a look like, "i didn't want to know that much" well, you asked.

Fortunately, my inlaws are super supportive. they and our siblings all got married super young with no college and had kids right away, even though they all started out with menial jobs and could barely make it. my hubby's working on his masters now and is almost done. i hope to go back to school too, eventually, to finish the college i do have. anyway, our timing and reasoning is none of anyone's business.


----------



## ramlita

That reminds me-
an acquaintance once asked me whether we planned to have another child.
I had just had a miscarriage at 11 weeks a few months before, so suddenly a question I never really thought to be overly personal felt waaaaay too personal for someone to ask so casually.

So I told her the truth:

"Actually, yes, we hope to conceive this week!"

The look on her face was very satisfying
















(We were successsful!







)


----------



## MelissaEvans

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ramlita* 
That reminds me-
an acquaintance once asked me whether we planned to have another child.
I had just had a miscarriage at 11 weeks a few months before, so suddenly a question I never really thought to be overly personal felt waaaaay too personal for someone to ask so casually.

So I told her the truth:

"Actually, yes, we hope to conceive this week!"

The look on her face was very satisfying
















(We were successsful!







)

At least you didn't offer pictures! =)
Congrats!


----------



## srbushey

Now that I think I remember the best ones I've heard...

My Mom, who is a nurse and who EBF'd us until we were 1-2 yrs old, told me:

"Well, you wanted to breastfeed every hours even at night! And you were such a plump baby, but I didn't know better. So with your brothers I gave them water every other feeding during the night, and they were so content and soon slept through the night!"

(today my brothers are rails and i'm still a bit more "womanly". but my one brother would throw up in the morning if he had to skip dinner for some reason the night before. seriously, how can she say they were getting well nourished?)

BTW, when I told my mom I was pregnant she said "Whaaaat?!!?!!! Wow!!!" (in major shock) and then "was this planned?" which question completely annoys me.

My FIL beats all. When my nieces were tiny, (1 BF and 3 mos, the other FF and 1 mo) He would observe that my SIL must be starving her 3 mo b/c it only took 5 - 10 minutes for her to eat (in the back room, where he assumed no real feeding was happening) and my niece had at that time a very high-pitched shrill scream that she used regularly (just for fun, I think).

So then, a year or so later, my FF'd niece is heavy for her age (big whoop) and he's criticizing my other SIL for feeding her "too much" and that she'll be "fat". Obviously has no problem with the other niece, who has long since stopped screaming and has grown just fine this far. This being said, I give him credit--his wife never breastfed, and I don't think he's seen it done, ever.

My SIL is so sure that because she experienced PPD for over a year and has to take meds because of it, that I WILL and not to expect not to have the baby blues at least, because "everyone gets it... you think you'll be so excited to have your baby but then you're so tired and she's so demanding and blah, blah, blah... and your life will never be the same... and reality sets in" but she had a C/S, and FF'd her daughter, both of which statistically are shown to greatly increase one's chances of getting PPD or baby blues.

I just HATE comments from ppl who assume that because they had this or that experience with their baby that I WILL too. It's like they're trying to scare me, or not let me get my hopes up.... whatever.

Like, people telling me I won't want to co-sleep.... here are some comments:

"I'd be too afraid to roll over on her" (to which I replied, "do you fall off the bed?... then why do you think you'd roll over on your baby?")

"My baby lasted in our room 3 nights. I couldn't sleep because of his diaper making noise when he breathed!" (try cd'ing...)

"It's not right to co-sleep because your husband NEEDS you and co-sleeping gets in the way of love life..." (so, you think the only place to have love life is in the middle of the night on your bed?)

Anyways....


----------



## srbushey

I just have to say something about this "spare the rod, spoil the child" crap:

In the Bible, at least from what I understand, those who used rods were shepherds and they would NEVER use the rod to beat their sheep! In fact, the sheep knew their shepherd's voice and followed him only, out of love and trust. If shepherds used the rods to beat any animal, it would be the wolf or other predator who wanted to harm the sheep. Many rods were crooknecked at the end so that if a sheep was caught somewhere difficult to get to, the shepherd could use it to guide the animal gently to safety. A "spoiled" sheep would be one who was attacked by a bear or wolf that was "spared" the rod driving it away. Hmm.

I think discipline is much more than punishment. It is more about example and gentle loving guidance. And I can't remember ANY lesson I learned from a good butt-whippin. All I remember are the whippin's and what I thought of my parents when they happened! Just the word "discipline" comes from the word "disciple" and Jesus, you remember, had 12 of those. They FOLLOWED him willingly (AP'ing?). I think we want our children to FOLLOW us, right? To know they are safe with us and that we will guide them in the right way to go.

Also, guess what the Bible says about Circ'ing?!! In the old Testament, it was a sign of a covenant between God and Abraham, and later his offspring, which are now the Jews. And in the New Testament Paul said it doesn't matter anymore, religiously speaking. It was part of the old Jewish law that Christ's followers are not expected to keep.

So, if you've no medical or religious reason to do it, you're left with vanity about what your son's friends (who shouldn't be looking) or future partner(s) MIGHT think of him. That's a very stupid reason to mutilize a child's sexual organs!

Anyway, this is from a Christian and a pastor's wife and I'm not speaking medically, but just from the way-too-misquoted Word of God here. And guess what?! Research seems to back up all this, that spanking isn't best and neither is circumcision!!!


----------



## Dov'sMom

Hm. What about the Jews out there who don't believe the New Testament is divine? Do you have any problem with their circumcising?

Though I agree with you wholeheartedly on the spare the rod bit. Remember, the Bible also says "teach the youth according to his nature."


----------



## minkajane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *srbushey* 
Also, guess what the Bible says about Circ'ing?!! In the old Testament, it was a sign of a covenant between God and Abraham, and later his offspring, which are now the Jews. And in the New Testament Paul said it doesn't matter anymore, religiously speaking. It was part of the old Jewish law that Christ's followers are not expected to keep.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dov'sMom* 
Hm. What about the Jews out there who don't believe the New Testament is divine? Do you have any problem with their circumcising?

You're both pretty new to MDC, so I guess you don't know, but we're not allowed to debate religious circumcision outside of the religious studies board. After all this time, I don't want to lose this thread because of something silly.


----------



## Lady Lilya

Yes, please.

I lost a thread because someone advocated circing in it. It wasn't related to the topic at all.


----------



## majorsky

Quote:


Originally Posted by *srbushey* 
So then, a year or so later, my FF'd niece is heavy for her age (big whoop) and he's criticizing my other SIL for feeding her "too much" and that she'll be "fat".

My grandmother is obsessed with the idea that babies shouldn't be fat. She feels the same about adults and insists that "fat" indicates laziness, so I guess she also attributes that trait to "fat" babies. (Of course, my mother was malnourished from infancy up to college-age.) When my DD was a bit younger, my mother would report back to my grandmother after visiting us that my DD "is not fat," just so there was no confusion on my grandmother's part.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *srbushey* 
"My baby lasted in our room 3 nights. I couldn't sleep because of his diaper making noise when he breathed!" (try cd'ing...)

My MIL told my DH when I was pregnant that I might change my mind about having DD sleep in our bedroom at night... She said she spoke to a young mom she knows and the woman declared she couldn't get any sleep with her baby in the same room because it made too much noise breathing.









Kristin


----------



## FarmerCathy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *majorsky* 

My MIL told my DH when I was pregnant that I might change my mind about having DD sleep in our bedroom at night... She said she spoke to a young mom she knows and the woman declared she couldn't get any sleep with her baby in the same room because it made too much noise breathing.









Kristin


So then does she kick her dp out every night too because his breathing is too noisy? My dh snores.


----------



## vloky

Hearing my son breathe reassured me. I'd wake up panicked within an hour every time I put him in his bassinet to sleep.


----------



## In Exile

I'd be NOT able to sleep if he wasn't in our room. Why would you put such a tiny little being all by himself away in a different room?


----------



## LiLStar

: if dd was sleeping soundly in the cosleeper (which is in the living room) at the time I felt like going to sleep, I would go get her, even if it woke her up, to bring her to bed with me.


----------



## srbushey

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dov'sMom* 
Hm. What about the Jews out there who don't believe the New Testament is divine? Do you have any problem with their circumcising? "

Foot in mouth moment: OMG I am soooooo sorry for seeming to imply anything like that!!! I meant to say (so I must have been really tired in the middle of the night when I posted that) that being Jewish is a totally legitimate religious reason to circ! I actually attend Jewish services occasionally because I'm fascinated by so many things about the religion. Anyway, I'm totally new to this whole MDC thing and in LOVE with this thread so please know that I had NO intention of starting a debate about circ'ing and religious reasons, etc. I have just been prodded to think about it since I've been pregnant, as I never really had before, and so w/o thinking just said some of my thoughts on it. Oops. Will think next time (if my pregnancy leaves me any brain cells!!!)

BTW, a wierd experience on the circ question: (I was maybe 13) I overheard a lady saying that all her sons but her 4th were circ'd b/c with DS4, the (new) doc said "well, I think that any woman who circ's her son should be circ'd herself" and so she didn't circ him. I was like, how do you circ a woman? (I soon learned... OMG!)

Anyway, hugs to all you moms, esp. those who have had awful things said or done to you! I know I have so much coming... I'll be grateful for any support I get for BF'ing my DD and anything else DH and I feel we should do. And I'm learning a lot from reading about your experiences too. Thanks for understanding.


----------



## srbushey

Quote:


Originally Posted by *In Exile* 
I'd be NOT able to sleep if he wasn't in our room. Why would you put such a tiny little being all by himself away in a different room?

My thoughts exactly... This same person taught me not to share my baby's name with ppl unless it was clear that it is the final choice. When she heard my baby's middle name (Raenelle, another rare spelling/pronunciation of Renee which is my middle name, and the spelling includes letters from my mom and mil's middle names too) she said, "do you have any other names?" I said "nope". Then she proceeded to go on and on about how that sounds like a "black" name because its sounds "made up" and on and on... WTH? Is she racist? God forbid! Anyway, I'm in love with creative names. This is one that I spent a lot of time coming up with and it happens to mean A LOT to me. And I hope making up names isn't reserved for a certain race.... wow. To her and her family's credit, after we left they told her how RUDE she was, and she has since appologized to me at least 100 times.


----------



## earthluvinmama

When ds was around 1 and was able to verbally ask to nurse, my father pointed out "Don't you think that you should stop nursing now that he can ask for it?"







: It wasn't worth a response...I simply walked away.

However, a few weeks later we were all together and ds asked for some water. I jumped up looking horrified and my dad asked me what was wrong. I answered "Well I guess I have to stop giving him water now that he can ask for it!?"


----------



## heathenmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *earthluvinmama* 
However, a few weeks later we were all together and ds asked for some water. I jumped up looking horrified and my dad asked me what was wrong. I answered "Well I guess I have to stop giving him water now that he can ask for it!?"









What an awesome response!


----------



## pjlioness

Quote:


Originally Posted by *earthluvinmama* 
However, a few weeks later we were all together and ds asked for some water. I jumped up looking horrified and my dad asked me what was wrong. I answered "Well I guess I have to stop giving him water now that he can ask for it!?"


----------



## Wittyone

Quote:


Originally Posted by *earthluvinmama* 
However, a few weeks later we were all together and ds asked for some water. I jumped up looking horrified and my dad asked me what was wrong. I answered "Well I guess I have to stop giving him water now that he can ask for it!?"









awesome


----------



## mama2mygirl

Quick response!


----------



## AnnieMarie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *earthluvinmama* 
When ds was around 1 and was able to verbally ask to nurse, my father pointed out "Don't you think that you should stop nursing now that he can ask for it?"







: It wasn't worth a response...I simply walked away.

However, a few weeks later we were all together and ds asked for some water. I jumped up looking horrified and my dad asked me what was wrong. I answered "Well I guess I have to stop giving him water now that he can ask for it!?"

Oh what a BRILLIANT response!!! I am going to file that one away for future use!laughup laughup
















I just love this thread...

My MIL the other day when she was visiting, asked me if I didn't think cloth diapers were unhygienic?














Like dumping disposables in a landfill is somehow better?


----------



## Dov'sMom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cathysteck* 
So then does she kick her dp out every night too because his breathing is too noisy? My dh snores.












































My grandmother kicked my grandfather out because he snored too loudly. Don't get me wrong, they were a lovely couple and deeply in love, but for the last 20 years of their life together, he slept in the living room because she couldn't sleep with his snoring.

Then again, his snoring could wake the dead.


----------



## Dov'sMom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *srbushey* 
Foot in mouth moment: OMG I am soooooo sorry for seeming to imply anything like that!!! I meant to say (so I must have been really tired in the middle of the night when I posted that) that being Jewish is a totally legitimate religious reason to circ! I actually attend Jewish services occasionally because I'm fascinated by so many things about the religion. Anyway, I'm totally new to this whole MDC thing and in LOVE with this thread so please know that I had NO intention of starting a debate about circ'ing and religious reasons, etc. I have just been prodded to think about it since I've been pregnant, as I never really had before, and so w/o thinking just said some of my thoughts on it. Oops. Will think next time (if my pregnancy leaves me any brain cells!!!)

BTW, a wierd experience on the circ question: (I was maybe 13) I overheard a lady saying that all her sons but her 4th were circ'd b/c with DS4, the (new) doc said "well, I think that any woman who circ's her son should be circ'd herself" and so she didn't circ him. I was like, how do you circ a woman? (I soon learned... OMG!)

Anyway, hugs to all you moms, esp. those who have had awful things said or done to you! I know I have so much coming... I'll be grateful for any support I get for BF'ing my DD and anything else DH and I feel we should do. And I'm learning a lot from reading about your experiences too. Thanks for understanding.

Oh, I wasn't insulted, I was just curious as to what your feeling would be. On the one hand, I'm Jewish, and would never have considered not circ'ing my son -- on the other hand, I don't understand why it's legal in the US.... Not that I'm complaining, because circumcision is so central to our religion that I think I would have to break the law (or at the very least move to a place where it was permitted) if there was a law against it, but I can't understand why people who didn't believe in their heart of hearts that that's what God wanted of them would do it and why it's not considered child abuse.
Anyway, that's probably enough circumcision talk in a discussion about stupid parenting advice...


----------



## MommytoHHH

We live in a new neighborhood and we finally got next door neighbors. They're very nice people with two elementary aged kids. The husband and I were talking the other night and he asked if my DD was sleeping through the night. I said "nope, but I don't expect her to either." And he said "You should try what we did. At 6 weeks we started adding rice cereal to their bottles and they both started sleeping through the night!"







:

I tried to hide the utter shock on my face. I just told him that DD is exclusively BF'd and doesn't take a bottle, and it doesn't bother me that she still needs to nurse once or twice at night since she sleeps in our bed.


----------



## beanbean

Quote:


Originally Posted by *In Exile* 
I'd be NOT able to sleep if he wasn't in our room. Why would you put such a tiny little being all by himself away in a different room?

As an aside, my oldest would not sleep with us. He woke up constantly, all night long. Finally one night I put him in his Amby in the next room over and he slept perfectly, all night. Apparently we were keeping _him_ awake!

Every child is different. DS still won't sleep if you lay down with him. DD however sleeps really well with us.


----------



## CorasMama

Srbushey,

Not only all of that, but "spare the rod, spoil the child" isn't actually IN the Bible!


----------



## sweetieberlin

ok.. I have a few from my mother..

I am all about being as attached with ds as possible.. I don't use a stroller, and plan to do child led weaning, but plan on starting solids later (9 months) due to dh having severe food allergies.
A few of my mother's comments;

"You have to have a stroller. You can't carry him forever. What are you going to do when he is 6 months old?"

"You can not bf after 1 year. It's not normal."

and the latest.. ds was sick and wasn't eating good.. my mother actually said-

"You said you were going to wait until 9 months to feed him solids? Have you talked to that midwife about that? You know, there comes a time when bm just isn't enough. I think he needs more to eat. You need to feed him solids" (at five months!)

also, they live in america, and when they call they like to talk to ds on speaker phone.. they are always saying,

"Are you being a bad boy? don't be a bad boy. Be a good boy."

It drives me crazy...


----------



## sweetieberlin

Also,
ds was recently hospitalized for one night (dehydration, because he stopped eating) the hospital was TERRIBLE! First they had to take blood, put iv in, examine him, put chest (heart) monitors on, etc.. he was screaming and crying.. his heartrate was up to 190! I picked him up as soon as they let me, and he stopped crying almost imeditely, and heart rate quickly went down to 110. The nurses said,

"Oh, isn't he spoiled."

I was so mad. If I had to have all that done to me, and didn't understand, etc, I would have cried too, until someone I loved held me.

Then the nurses were shocked that I didn't give my 5 month old EBF baby fennel tea.

Later, I was talking to the Dr. trying to convince him that we could go home. I told him that ds had ate 7 times since 7 am (now 1230pm) The Dr. said, "Oh, with the bottle, right"

It is really, really sad that the "norm" these days is ff..

Nikki


----------



## Nicole McGraw Dorr

This isn't necessarily parenting advice stupidity, but I think it goes along with this topic pretty well...
Before we were married, my husband and I had been living together mongomomously for 4 1/2 years AND were in the process of planning our wedding when we found out that we were pregnant. When he told his mother the big news the first sentence to come out of her mouth was:
"WELL, YOU BETTER BE CAREFUL SLEEPING WITH PEOPLE FROM FRESNO! PEOPLE IN FRESNO HAVE A LOT OF S.T.D.'S"
kind of late to be having that kind of talk, don'tcha think, and maybe should have had the condom talk Before he went off to college?? lol.
just one of the many stupid things my dumbass MIL has said...
nicole


----------



## Nicole McGraw Dorr

Ok, so my mom used to live in this duplex, and some new neighbors moved into the other half of their duplex and the wife was like 8 months pregnant and She (the pregnant lady!) used to sit out on the front porch and smoke cigarettes like 15 times a day. One time my mom started asking her questions like "when are you due, etc?" while she was unlocking the front door and during the small talk the lady told her about how she only smoked outside the house so that no smoke would get in the nursery, so that the baby would not have any 'birth-defects' after it was born. My mom actually had to explain to this dumb broad that smoking while pregnant is what causes 'birth-defects'. And she totally didn't even get it.


----------



## Nicole McGraw Dorr

Oh, this is an interesting one! While pregnant with dd I was in a store and the owner came up and started asking me about my due date, etc. She then proceeded to inform me that I MUST wear red panties with a safety pin through them the next day (which was an eclipse) or my baby would die or be born with horrible birth defects!! And her asistant confirmed it by saying that her friend had not worn them and had miscarried several times, and allways because of that.
I was shopping in an area of Fresno where there were predominantly Mexican-owned dress shops, so I'm pretty sure that the advice of the shops owners was so foreign to me because of our cultural diferences; but I have never heard of anything like this before or since that day.
Boy, was that strange!
Nicole


----------



## spu

I remember an episode of sex and the city about a baby shower where one of the ladies commented on how someone was nursing a baby who was old enough to eat steak - WELL --- I had just gone to the 99 restaurant and ate steak, and my DDs ALSO ate steak, and then continued to bfeed... I cracked up laughing - "That's me!!" LOL! (DDs nursed for 3 years...)

I've gotten all kinds of comments about bfeeding --

... but can't she have cows milk? (yes, if she was a baby cow)
... she still lets you do that? (meaning the baby still nurses?!)

what a great thread!!

susan


----------



## J's Mombee

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Nicole McGraw Dorr* 
Oh, this is an interesting one! While pregnant with dd I was in a store and the owner came up and started asking me about my due date, etc. She then proceeded to inform me that I MUST wear red panties with a safety pin through them the next day (which was an eclipse) or my baby would die or be born with horrible birth defects!! And her asistant confirmed it by saying that her friend had not worn them and had miscarried several times, and allways because of that.
I was shopping in an area of Fresno where there were predominantly Mexican-owned dress shops, so I'm pretty sure that the advice of the shops owners was so foreign to me because of our cultural diferences; but I have never heard of anything like this before or since that day.
Boy, was that strange!
Nicole

Not only strange, but that was very mean too. Telling someone that if they dont follow your advice, their babe will die... that is horrible...


----------



## majorsky

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Nicole McGraw Dorr* 
Oh, this is an interesting one! While pregnant with dd I was in a store and the owner came up and started asking me about my due date, etc. She then proceeded to inform me that I MUST wear red panties with a safety pin through them the next day (which was an eclipse) or my baby would die or be born with horrible birth defects!! And her asistant confirmed it by saying that her friend had not worn them and had miscarried several times, and allways because of that.
I was shopping in an area of Fresno where there were predominantly Mexican-owned dress shops, so I'm pretty sure that the advice of the shops owners was so foreign to me because of our cultural diferences; but I have never heard of anything like this before or since that day.
Boy, was that strange!
Nicole

I've heard that old Mexican traditions with babies persist through the generations, and this sounds similar to others I've heard. Another Mexican "old wives tale" goes something like this: After a new baby goes home from the hospital, you have to keep all the windows in your house closed or something bad will happen to the baby. (I think serious illness?) Of course, it seems all ethnicities (including my own, Caucasian) have "unique" (or bizarre) myths that apply to babies.

Kristin


----------



## Lady Lilya

A former co-worker of mine told me years ago that since a glass of red wine a day is good for your heart, when you are pregnant you should drink lots of red wine.

She said she did this with her youngest. He was born very prematurely and had serious developmental problems and mental retardation.

I didn't say anything to her about the alcohol possibly contributing. She had enough to deal with, without needing to feel responsible.


----------



## Miasmamma

My midwives told me that one glass a week was ok, but I'm not sure about one a day. I came no where near close to the one a week. I think I had one glass a week before I delivered!


----------



## Lady Lilya

Well, it was AT LEAST one per day. The more the better seemed to be her logic.


----------



## ramlita

poor baby.


----------



## denovagirl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Nicole McGraw Dorr* 
Oh, this is an interesting one! While pregnant with dd I was in a store and the owner came up and started asking me about my due date, etc. She then proceeded to inform me that I MUST wear red panties with a safety pin through them the next day (which was an eclipse) or my baby would die or be born with horrible birth defects!! And her asistant confirmed it by saying that her friend had not worn them and had miscarried several times, and allways because of that.
I was shopping in an area of Fresno where there were predominantly Mexican-owned dress shops, so I'm pretty sure that the advice of the shops owners was so foreign to me because of our cultural diferences; but I have never heard of anything like this before or since that day.
Boy, was that strange!
Nicole

LOL...so did you go buy some red panties to be on the safe side, haaha...too funny


----------



## CorasMama

I was talking to my best friend last night about circ, and she said she's *glad* she had her ds circed! I asked, "_WHY???_ I knew he had been circ'ed, but I figured that, like a lot of things that the medical community forced on her back then, she had come around w/ time and wisdom.
She said,"because there are hygeine issues that I just didn't want to deal with"
Me: but there really aren't, you just wash it like a finger
Her: yeah, there are
Me: but you also have a girl, and girls have way more nooks and crannies down there than in an intact penis!
Her: but dd likes to take baths, and ds doesn't, so I'm glad I don't have to worry about that w/ him
Me: so if dd didn't like baths, would you now be wishing you'd had her labia cut off?
Her: labia are different
Me: but that's where all the nooks and crannies are in a girl
Her: let's agree to disagree

Otoh, she has had her tubes tied, so it's kinda moot now. I just was astounded.


----------



## libranbutterfly

DD2 was in the emergency room this weekend, and they wanted to give her some pedialyte. I told the nurse she doesn't drink bottles, and she gets this astonished look on her face "Well, what does she eat, then?" as if I'm starving my baby. I told her she was breastfed, and from the look on her face, it was the first time she'd heard of a baby being breastfed


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lady Lilya* 
I didn't say anything to her about the alcohol possibly contributing. She had enough to deal with, without needing to feel responsible.

If it didn't seem like she'd ever heard of FAS, I don't think I could have kept from telling her about it. Heaven forfend she should do that to another child because she was kept in ignorance. Heaven forfend anyone should listen to her advice about drinking.


----------



## libranbutterfly

One more I thought I had already put on here. It wasent told to me directly, but to my SIL, who is pregnant. Someone told her that smoking was the only thing keeping her iron level up, and it would harm the baby if she quit!!


----------



## cjuniverse

WHAT?!








, I think I'm going to explode!!

Who, in any frame of mind, under any circumstances, would suggest such a thing?


----------



## maliceinwonderland

My SO got a good one the other day at our babyshower. My coworker (male) told him that in a prenatal class he attended they had the fathers hold onto an icecube for as long as they could because it simulated the childbirth experience. I'm sure my SO was polite to the coworker, but later on at home he was holding and ice cube and said "Oh..I'm sure this is EXACTLY like pushing an 8+ lb baby out of your vagina!"


----------



## cinnamonamon

Quote:


Originally Posted by *maliceinwonderland* 
My SO got a good one the other day at our babyshower. My coworker (male) told him that in a prenatal class he attended they had the fathers hold onto an icecube for as long as they could because it simulated the childbirth experience. I'm sure my SO was polite to the coworker, but later on at home he was holding and ice cube and said "Oh..I'm sure this is EXACTLY like pushing an 8+ lb baby out of your vagina!"

















that actually comes from birthing from within -- a great book. but it isn't supposed to be like childbirth, it's a pain management training technique.


----------



## BetsyS

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Nicole McGraw Dorr* 
Oh, this is an interesting one! While pregnant with dd I was in a store and the owner came up and started asking me about my due date, etc. She then proceeded to inform me that I MUST wear red panties with a safety pin through them the next day (which was an eclipse) or my baby would die or be born with horrible birth defects!! And her asistant confirmed it by saying that her friend had not worn them and had miscarried several times, and allways because of that.
I was shopping in an area of Fresno where there were predominantly Mexican-owned dress shops, so I'm pretty sure that the advice of the shops owners was so foreign to me because of our cultural diferences; but I have never heard of anything like this before or since that day.
Boy, was that strange!
Nicole


I worked in an ob/gyn clinic for a while that was mostly Hispanic (and most of the Hispanics were Mexican). Everyone would have safety pins on their underwear...it took me some getting used to.


----------



## Miajean

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PumpkinSeeds* 
My MIL said that by nursing my ds I was going to turn him into a homosexual.

What about people who were not nursed who are homosexuals?








:







laughup Golly that is stupid, hubby isn't and he loves the fact he was nursed and I nurse...says it's sooo cool a woman can supply all the growth and health for babies! He has become a serious advocate just from being a Dada. He tells everyone it's cheaper, healthier, and 100% better then any doctor or junk bottle for an infant and it's bad manners to act all high and mighty over bottle feeding since natural is best and better for life! He went from kinda not caring to serious advocate in a few weeks and he's louder and grumpier then me over bathrooms not having areas to nurse and to public issues to extended BF so she can maintain the postive effects.


----------



## Miajean

Quote:


Originally Posted by *veganmamma* 
DP is catholic and we were at midnight mass last night and I was nursing dd in the hall outside the service and a man and his wife walked through and the man said " What a desacration!" as he walked through just loud enough for me to hear!! Can you believe it! I was so caught off guard I didn't even say my planned comeback! "What do you think Jesus ate?" hmph! I'll tell him to eff off if I ever see him again!
Love,
Lauren





































:







What did jesus eat???Lolololololololol Ohh I'm going to love that one from now on..anyone has an attitude I'm going to proclaim I'm trying to follow the mother of our redeemer and she obviously had a good thing going.


----------



## gratefulbambina

Quote:


Originally Posted by *maliceinwonderland* 
My SO got a good one the other day at our babyshower. My coworker (male) told him that in a prenatal class he attended they had the fathers hold onto an icecube for as long as they could because it simulated the childbirth experience. I'm sure my SO was polite to the coworker, but later on at home he was holding and ice cube and said "Oh..I'm sure this is EXACTLY like pushing an 8+ lb baby out of your vagina!"









We did this at our birthing within class, but it wasn't with just one ice cube it was with alot and it was for pain management not to show what labor felt like.


----------



## kater07

I've started getting rolling eyes while nursing my 2yo DD. My sister DID manage to bite her tongue last weekend.


----------



## janerose

To go along with the breastfeeding in church comments, I had a window cling for our car that said "Jesus was breastfed".

Too bad it fell apart in our sub-zero winters here. I'm totally going to order a custom bumpersticker & throw that on instead. Right next to the bumpersticker we have promoting the midwifery practice we used.









Also, when I got comments from my Mom about nursing DD1 while going up for communion I just ended up telling her that the food GOD intended my baby to have is obviously superior to any man made substitute. She was just kind of baffled because my DD's have both been supplemented due to supply problems, so she couldn't imagine why I'd choose to nurse in that situation rather than bottle feed...







.

Holly


----------



## faerierose

When my oldest sister realized we don't vax she said in this really shocked voice "you know they won't be able to go to college right?"







:


----------



## MommytoHHH

Quote:


Originally Posted by *faerierose* 
When my oldest sister realized we don't vax she said in this really shocked voice "you know they won't be able to go to college right?"







:

My husband is a professor and one of his colleagues said the same thing to me. She'd never heard of any sort of exemptions for vaxing...


----------



## SwanMom

The most interesting thing I can think of was recently when I was talking to a lady at church (a stranger). She was asking how old my baby was (2 months), and how big he was when he was born (9 lbs, 9 oz). She was very impressed with the size and said, "It will be easier with your next one, especially if it's a girl."







: I just kind of smiled and nodded, but DH and I later were trying to figure out if 2nd babies are smaller or if girls are smaller, or maybe just giving birth to 2nd children and girls is easier.

What do I say when people say to me, 2 months PP: "You don't look like you had a baby!" I know that they mean it as a compliment. But somehow it bugs me...I mean, carrying that baby and giving birth was hard work!

I was at my in-laws the other day and found out that my MIL who passed away before I married into the family (and I never met) made my SIL nurse in the bedroom when she had her DD (30 years ago). I wonder what she would say now that I'm nursing constantly at every family function IN PLAIN SIGHT!!!

My other MIL (it's a long story) came for 3 weeks from Italy and she was fabulous! I didn't do a thing for those 3 weeks except hold and feed my baby.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *faerierose* 
When my oldest sister realized we don't vax she said in this really shocked voice "you know they won't be able to go to college right?"







:

Well, if you take long enough to go to college and go in another state getting vaxes doesn't necessarily help. In Oregon, I only got one MMR by age one, in Indiana they want two. After all the bother of getting the one record sent from the doctor back in Oregon, I asked the office if I could just find out when the other shot had been given and get back to them. They said sure, so I went outside and called my mom up. "Hey if anyone ever asks you, I got a MMR shot on 4/23/1981, okay? Thanks." And after chatting for another 10 minutes or so, I went back in and gave them that date.


----------



## utopia760

one time i was talking about my ds getting teeth to my neighbor and she replied by saying " just give him a pork bone to chew on" OMG was she really serious?????? i couldent imagine doing that


----------



## MelissaEvans

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SwanMom* 
What do I say when people say to me, 2 months PP: "You don't look like you had a baby!" I know that they mean it as a compliment. But somehow it bugs me...I mean, carrying that baby and giving birth was hard work!

At least they weren't trying to say that you still look pregnant =)


----------



## mamabear&babybear

I just heard this gem yesterday. An older woman told a friend and I that it was okay to let our babies cry for 5 minutes or so when they wake up. Her doctor had told her that it was good excercise for them to flail their arms and legs when they cried.


----------



## Lady Lilya

I'd rather them exercise their arms and legs trying to reach something fun.

I was looking at toys for babies. I found some wind-chimes that can attach to the crib or bouncy seat so that when they kick them they make a pretty sound. That sounds fun for ME. If I had a place to attach wind chimes where I am, I would hit them from time to time.

I also found some wrist-rattles that can be put on ankles too, and will attract their attention to their hands or feet and encourage them to move them to hear and see the pretty rattles.


----------



## hibana

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lady Lilya* 
I found some wind-chimes that can attach to the crib or bouncy seat so that when they kick them they make a pretty sound. That sounds fun for ME. If I had a place to attach wind chimes where I am, I would hit them from time to time.

I have a chime hanging by my kitchen sink... I've been known to hit it with something when the dishes get too boring...
My MIL told me that I should nurse in the car while Dh was driving, by taking dd out of her seat and tucking her between me and my seatbelt. She says she did this with her kids.







: Needless to say, I don't do that!


----------



## ashleyhaugh

Quote:


Originally Posted by *utopia760* 
one time i was talking about my ds getting teeth to my neighbor and she replied by saying " just give him a pork bone to chew on" OMG was she really serious?????? i couldent imagine doing that


my mom sucked/chewed on pork chop bones when she was a baby, and did the same for my sis and i.... not teeny babies of course, but she said we liked sucking the flavor out of the bone


----------



## Ellp

A friend of ours suggested that I give my Dd (about 16mo at the time) a BBQ'd chicken drumette(sp?) to knaw on when we were eating dinner at their house, to keep her quiet. Apparently she did that for her boys and they loved it. Needless to say I didn't do it because chances are, Dd would've really tried to bite into it and swallow whatever she got, cartilage included!


----------



## mothragirl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ellp* 
A friend of ours suggested that I give my Dd (about 16mo at the time) a BBQ'd chicken drumette(sp?) to knaw on when we were eating dinner at their house, to keep her quiet. Apparently she did that for her boys and they loved it. Needless to say I didn't do it because chances are, Dd would've really tried to bite into it and swallow whatever she got, cartilage included!

i think that would be a good food for a 16 mo. you're supposed to bite and swallow food







:


----------



## Gainsbourg

Omigosh!

Last saturday it was my cousin's baby shower.

There was another lady that had just had a baby, and had a stroller covered with a receiving blanket next to her.

I had already seen the baby, who happened to be... um... homely. But off course I smiled and congratulated the mother.

My 16 y.o. cousin (sister of the soon-to-be-mother) stood up, and gently uncovered the stroller.

My young cousin is the type of person that speaks her mind without really using her mind, if you what I mean, so I was afraid she was going to say something stupid.

The conversation went like this:

mother: "Oh! Are you saying hi to Lyn?"
cousin: "Yeah"
mother: "Do you like babies? You are going to be an auntie by this time next week!"
cousin: "uh huh"
mother: "Aren't all babies just precious?"
cousin: "Well, all I can say is that your son has very manly features, he looks just like your husband"
mother: "She's a girl! Her name is Carolyn Mae!"
cousin: "oops, sorry"

The mother left shortly aftwards, and seemed to be upset about it.


----------



## njbeachgirl

"My seemingly intelligent mother warned me as I was reaching up to a shelf, not to stretch too far or I'd choke the baby...."

My FIL told me not to put my arms over my head when I was pregnant for the same reason! Of course I did anyway...

... and dd came out with the cord around her neck twice (but perfectly fine)


----------



## rubyruby

Other people have probably had this said to them, but once when DD was little (maybe one of the first times out in public with this member of the family) and she got hungry so I started looking for some place to sit down to BF her. A member of my family (not blood related, thank goodness!) said, "Oh, I think the bathrooms are back over there."

I asked her if she would like it if I prepared her food in the bathroom.


----------



## Ranna

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kater07* 
And what PERFECT comebacks did you have ready or did you think of later?

If you have other combacks, please pass them around.

I am sure that we could all use some good laughs!!!









recently on another website, someone told me to leave the baby to cry and put on headphones and forget about her.


----------



## Erinz

My son spent almost every waking moment in the Moby wrap for the first several months of his new life. I was asked (more than once in different ways) if he would suffocate in my breasts. I answered "no, but MAN what a way to go huh?"


----------



## Wittyone

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ranna* 
recently on another website, someone told me to leave the baby to cry and put on headphones and forget about her.

Wow, that just makes me want to puke







: What is *wrong* with people?!?


----------



## Wittyone

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Erinz* 
My son spent almost every waking moment in the Moby wrap for the first several months of his new life. I was asked (more than once in different ways) if he would suffocate in my breasts. I answered "no, but MAN what a way to go huh?"

















What a great comeback...you go mama!


----------



## Ranna

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Wittyone* 
Wow, that just makes me want to puke







: What is *wrong* with people?!?









me too.


----------



## kathteach

Quote:

_I just kind of smiled and nodded, but DH and I later were trying to figure out if 2nd babies are smaller or if girls are smaller, or maybe just giving birth to 2nd children and girls is easier._
Statistically, on average, girls weigh less at birth.


----------



## janerose

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kathteach* 
Statistically, on average, girls weigh less at birth.

Yeah, but second & subsequent kids generally weigh more. So I guess it could go either way!









FWIW, I have 2 girls & the second was bigger than her sister.

Holly


----------



## gibsonsmom

When my DS was about 9 months old and just pushing himself up from crawling, kind of scooting around in that "I want to walk" phase my friends mother told me to make sure I kept him down as long as I could because once he could walk I would have a lot more work. I was totally shocked, I had never heard anything so demented before. I told her that I felt that once he could walk it would be less work becasue he would have more independence, meaning he could get toys he wanted on his own or reach for his things he needed, etc. And she looked at me like I was crazy and said "why would you want your child to be independent, that sounds like a recipe for disaster". Needless to say, we never went to play group when my friends mother was there again.


----------



## ThreeBeans

My second child was a girl and weighed a pound more and was an inch longer than her brother


----------



## Dov'sMom

Well, I've only the one, but my mother had six:

1. Boy, 7 pounds 8 ounces
2. Girl (me), 9 pounds, 12 ounces
3. Girl, 8 pounds 1 ounce
4. Girl, 8 pounds 7 ounces
5. Girl, 5 pounds 14 ounces
6. Boy, 6 pounds 13 ounces

(The last two were twins, if you're wondering why so much smaller than the rest.)

So no pattern.

True, statistically girls are smaller, and statistically, later-borns are bigger, but we're talking about small differences. Statistically, having two in a row of one gender makes you less likely to have the other, but how often do you see families with two or three (or 8, like one of my sister's friends) girls and then a boy (or in that family's case, three boys)?


----------



## Twinklefae

First of all Hooray for Me! I've read all 197 pages of this post, and it only took me a month! (My DF is soooo glad I'm done and have stopped finiding him to quote silly things at him.







)

Anyway, I'll contribute my own now, one of the girls I used to work with would very defensively go on about how quitting smoking would be too stressful on the baby and that it would do more harm than continuing to smoke.







Not really sure where she heard that, but man oh man did she ever go on about it! You would have thought that anyone who _did_ quit smoking was commiting child abuse!


----------



## peaceful_mama

One day, I had Sophia, then about 2 months old, in the sling in Walmart







(I know, but it's the only WIC place that sells DS's goat milk here)

Anyway the cashier asked me if that was a *real* baby in there...WTF?







no um, I'm in the habit of carrying around a doll like that? In reality I just said yup, she's real, she's eating. (all anyone could see of her was the top of her little Eeyore hat, pink striped with ears







) go figure, it's Walmart










mostly I get really good comments about the sling though EVERYONE keeps saying 'oh I wish they had those when *I* had babies....'


----------



## jenP

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dov'sMom* 
Statistically, having two in a row of one gender makes you less likely to have the other, but how often do you see families with two or three (or 8, like one of my sister's friends) girls and then a boy (or in that family's case, three boys)?

That's interesting, I'd like to hear more.
At first read, I thought you said having two in a row of one gender made you _more_ likely to have the _other_, and I was going to disagree. (Based on pure statistics, each time you have a child, its chance of being one gender is 50/50 and the genders of the preceding children have no influence whatsoever; that is each event is independent.)
But what you're saying is that if you have two of one sex, you're more likely to *keep on having the same sex*. So there must be something biological going on. Like your body chemistry is more suited for x sperm or y sperm, or your husband has more x sperm or y sperm or something like that... I wonder if there's a difference if the children have different fathers?
Anyway, that is a real intersting statistic. Another fun fact!

Jen


----------



## eviesingleton

My friend Erin breastfeeds her sister's adopted baby and gets all kinds of stares and comments. But her MIL is the worst; I think she still believes in phrenology and floating uteri. I was at Erin's house last month and when MIL saw her breastfeeding Molly she said, "I don't think you should do that until you know whether or not she's a hemopheliac because it will cause her blood to reject tranfusions."

Another time she told Erin that she should start eating and drinking THE soy because that's what they eat in China and the baby would be used to that from the mother's diet. That wouldn't have been so bad except for the fact that Molly's biological mother is Puerto Rican and lived in America her entire life.


----------



## mamatobean

MIL once told me,"Put hot sauce on her thumb,that will stop her from sucking it."


----------



## Lohagrace

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zakers_mama* 
One day, I had Sophia, then about 2 months old, in the sling in Walmart







(I know, but it's the only WIC place that sells DS's goat milk here)

Anyway the cashier asked me if that was a *real* baby in there...WTF?







no um, I'm in the habit of carrying around a doll like that? In reality I just said yup, she's real, she's eating. (all anyone could see of her was the top of her little Eeyore hat, pink striped with ears







) go figure, it's Walmart









mostly I get really good comments about the sling though EVERYONE keeps saying 'oh I wish they had those when *I* had babies....'









yeah, when MIL is in town, we HAVE to go to walmart







so i was there with here and i had ds in a sling (keep in mind we live in a large, very progressive, very sling-ey town) and this woman was like "what is THAT? that's cool!" i was surprised she hadnt seen one--they are everywhere here.


----------



## dorianboy

Unfortunately, this comment came from a friend whose little one is a month older than mine. I was telling her about my difficulties living in another country, being pg w/ #2 and that I had thrown one of my ds's toys out of frustration, told him I was sorry and that I was upset, and then cried. Her response was, "Well, you know it's not about you anymore." That was a devastating blow to me considering that I thought she would understand a mom having an unbalanced moment. I would just loved to have heard her say that it was ok, don't beat yourself up over it, etc., etc. We haven't spoken for about 8 months now. Being a parent sure changes relationships for the better or worse, doesn't it??


----------



## Joyful Mama

i only got to about page 13...i'm amazed that this thread is 197 pages long!
i've had a few doozies, but instead i wanted to share a story of a really nice older man that i came across at my sister's stag and doe a few weeks ago...
"your baby, he's not crying...you know why? because you hold him" (i was wearing him in the Mei Tai) "he knows his mommy and he loves to have you close by"
and a little bit later on that evening...
"do you take that baby to bed with you?"
"yep"
"good for you...that baby knows you love him. you keep it up"


----------



## beanbean

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eviesingleton* 
Another time she told Erin that she should start eating and drinking THE soy because that's what they eat in China and the baby would be used to that from the mother's diet. That wouldn't have been so bad except for the fact that Molly's biological mother is Puerto Rican and lived in America her entire life.









:


----------



## illumini

All I have to say is that Im finally finished reading all 197 pages!







:


----------



## Meg Murry.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *brightonwoman* 
They used to tell pg women to not hang laundry out on th eline, because putting their arms up over their head would cause the baby to strangle in the cord...
...but when I say 'used to' we're talking like 200 years ago...sounds like some rumors never die!

It was probably a myth invented by a pregnant woman who didn't want to do ALL THE DARNED LAUNDRY!!!


----------



## Dov'sMom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jenP* 
That's interesting, I'd like to hear more.
At first read, I thought you said having two in a row of one gender made you _more_ likely to have the _other_, and I was going to disagree. (Based on pure statistics, each time you have a child, its chance of being one gender is 50/50 and the genders of the preceding children have no influence whatsoever; that is each event is independent.)
But what you're saying is that if you have two of one sex, you're more likely to *keep on having the same sex*. So there must be something biological going on. Like your body chemistry is more suited for x sperm or y sperm, or your husband has more x sperm or y sperm or something like that... I wonder if there's a difference if the children have different fathers?
Anyway, that is a real intersting statistic. Another fun fact!

Jen

I suppose it could be because of your DH's sperm -- there are definitely some men whose male sperm or female sperm are not viable because of some defect.

But my understanding is that separate from that, the very fact of having a girl makes you more likely to have another, and v.v.

My understanding is that male sperm is generally quicker than female sperm (maybe because it's lighter?) but also less hardy. In a basic environment, both types of sperm thrive, and therefore, if the woman's genital tract is basic, she is more likely to have male children: both types of sperm have equal survival rates, but males are more likely to make it up the ovum quicker. If the woman's vaginal canal is acidic, however, the male sperm dies much faster than the female sperm does, so the female sperm has a better statistical chance of conception.

People sometimes capitalize on this to try have a child of one sex or the other -- if they want a girl, they are told to have sex a few days before ovulation, so that by ovulation, the female sperm will have made it all the way to the fallopian tubes -- and the male sperm would have died. If they're trying for a male, have sex at or after ovulation so the sperm that gets there first can impregnate right away. Of course, this is statistics, so nowhere near guaranteed outcomes.

Anyway, my understanding (though I don't remember from where) is that carrying a girl or a boy can actually change the PH of your vaginal canal, and the effect can linger up to a few years. So if you don't space your children, what you had last impacts your chances of having the same again, and the more in a row the stronger the effect.

Again, though, we're talking about changing the chances from roughly 54% chance of male conception (not 50/50 -- close to 50/50 chance of either at birth, but that's because males are generally weaker and abort more frequently. Still, more boys are born than girls, but the numbers tend to even out at about 5 years.) that occurs naturally to, I don't know, maybe 60%? 65%? Not enough to give even expected results...


----------



## cinnamonamon

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dov'sMom* 
I suppose it could be because of your DH's sperm -- there are definitely some men whose male sperm or female sperm are not viable because of some defect.

But my understanding is that separate from that, the very fact of having a girl makes you more likely to have another, and v.v.

genetics?









we have 3 boys...dh is one of 2 boys...fil is one of 5 or 6 males, and, iirc gfil also had only male siblings. wierd (and kinda funny since my own father had something like 15 kids -- all but 2 were female!).


----------



## waylonsmama

So I went to buy ds one of those tooth brushes that fits on the tip of your finger. When the lady was ringing me up she said..."Oh...he's teething...that happened to my sisters baby." I did not say anything, but I was like..yay it happens to all babies. I thought that it was pretty funny.


----------



## miamidad

I'm a working Dad living in Miami , Florida , people are not used to see a dad carrying his baby on a wrap, so of course every time I'm walking next to a mom with the following Items: Baby Stroller, baby stroller accessories to entertain child, child crying, diaper bag, etc , they look at me and they say....

Is that comfortable? Can he breathe?

Of course my best comeback is ... well&#8230;. he is not crying, he is sleeping peacefully next to Daddy's heart, and he is a happy baby, so&#8230;. &#8230;..what do you think? This way you put them on the spot and make them think while you maneuver away from them thru that busy mall or parking lot .

Dads please wear you Baby







:







:


----------



## Birth Junky

The latest gem from DH's grandmother (who has come up with some doozies in the past!) was that she wasn't sure how she felt about me taking 13-month-old DD on an airplane, because "that's how babies get tuberculosis."


----------



## Harmony96

Ok I'm back to vent again.  So DD is almost 5 months old







r: and over the weekend we were visiting a place I had lived for 8 years and moved away 3 years ago and hadn't been back for a visit since. Sunday afternoon there was a potluck and DD was tired and hungry and just mad at everything and would barely nurse. Well finally I got her to eat and she calmed down a little. I was going to put her on my back b/c she had slept there before and I thought she might relax and fall asleep up there. Well, she was having NOTHING of the back carry. I walked and bounced briefly to see if she would calm down, then started untying it. While I was in the middle of untying it, an older lady at the potluck walked right by me, didn't even give me the slightest chance to respond, and said, "She doesn't like that, Baby."

Um #1 she DOES in fact like it, she's just super-tired right now, and can't you see that I'm already in the process if taking her off?

#2 I know that "Baby" is a term of endearment around the South but it just really rubbed me wrong that day, sort of implying that I'm not mature enough to realize what my own baby needs.

#3 The whole statement sortof seemed to imply that I was "showing off my babywearing skillz" and I needed to quit that and tend to her properly.

I'm over this now and the lady didn't even know that what she said affected me so badly, so I just let it go. I had vented on another board too and they all gave me hugz.


----------



## beanbean

I don't know if it will make you feel any better (and I might be completely wrong) but maybe it was just an observation -- "she's not liking that, is she!" rather than a comment about the babywearing. Oh well, one can hope.


----------



## Harmony96

Quote:


Originally Posted by *beanbean* 
I don't know if it will make you feel any better (and I might be completely wrong) but maybe it was just an observation -- "she's not liking that, is she!" rather than a comment about the babywearing. Oh well, one can hope.










lol, if only.







No, the tone of the comment was very clearly condescending. But thanks for trying to see the bright side for me.


----------



## In Exile

If, heaven forbid, you're baby wants to nurse again despite having nursed 30 minutes ago- you already know the comments...are you sure that you have enough milk, he is not happy why is that blablabla. The formula generation just plain does not get that Breastmilk is digested differently and that the first couple of weeks they practically nurse around the clock. Dear, aren't you overfeeding him??







:







:







:

Oh, and if you're baby cries in the carseat (my little guy hates that bucket with a passion that still seeks competition)- most people will say nothing. But if you're baby does so much as a little moan while sleeping in a carrier- woah, watch out!! "Poor baby, is your mommy torturing you?"







:







:







:
Yes, of course, I ferberize my baby into the carrier, torture is an essential part of raising my baby, you know.







:


----------



## libranbutterfly

This one was from page 55, but I found it hilarious. I wonder what she thought the babies were doing? How were they reducing, like less teachers or more? At first, I assumed it was gunna be less teachers (since then there would be more openings), and that seemed like the perfect reason to put a kid in a daycare







But then I realized it may have been the other way around, which would have at least made it more likely the kid would get more individual attention. I cant stand it when the parent is at home and the kid is at daycare ALL the time. There was a single mom at the daycare I worked at, and she had Fridays off. Every other friday, the kids came to daycare b/c she didn't feel safe mowing when they were home. Other than that, they were always with her







We didnt agree on all points of parenting, but we became good friends, and her kids were my secret favorites. I even watched them at my house sometimes after I quit work.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *artgoddess* 
Just the other night while at my moms group, one of the other moms pulled me aside to let me know secretly that some daycare in town, she named it I guess I'm supposed to be impressed or it's supposed to be the best one to send your kids to or something. Anyway she let me know that the word is, they are reducing their child-teacher ratio and I had better go down to put DS name on the list right away because the wait could be as long as a year.

I just gave her a quizical look and told her I didn't plan on putting DS into daycare. She looked at me in the middle of a room filled with 10 moms and their babies and toddlers all playing together and said, "but aren't you worried about him not being socialized?" I gazed around the room and then back at her and said, "Um...no."


----------



## AllisonR

Quote:


Originally Posted by *In Exile* 
Yes, of course, I ferberize my baby into the carrier, torture is an essential part of raising my baby, you know.







:

LOL. It reminds me of the dumbest thing I said to someone else. We complain about others making offensive comments about our choices, but I want to point out that sometimes the shoe is on the other foot.

I went to see "Meet the Fockers" with a friend and her friend. Parents have babe on total routine, Plastic breast, routine cribtime, CIO, no affection AT ALL (I mean, babe has to learn to be independent







)... But it is a total extreme exageration of mainstream and I thought it was a comedy. We went for coffee afterwards, and I was joking with them about how funny the movie was with parents locking him in a crib and wouldn't hold him....

Well, this friend of my friend says "We use the ferberize method on our son. It works great."

I blurted out "OMG! I thought it was a joke!" I was dumbfounded. You mean this s%&* is for real? And she did this to her own child!?

Well, I was so shocked I obviously didn't think before I spoke. Luckily my friend said "I thought it was a joke too." and she is mainstream.

I absolutely don't agree with her parenting choices. I am appauled actually. But I should have held my tongue, or at least brought the subject up in a kinder, gentler way.


----------



## ramlita

Eh. Try not to beat yourself up.
Sometimes your honest response is the most effective thought-provoker.


----------



## ThreeBeans

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ramlita* 
Eh. Try not to beat yourself up.
Sometimes your honest response is the most effective thought-provoker.
























:


----------



## sweetieberlin

Today I was talking to my mom, and I told her I was cutting dairy out of my diet... she said, "If you don't have dairy, how can you make any milk?"







:


----------



## JustJenny

AllisonR said:


> I went to see "Meet the Fockers" with a friend and her friend. Parents have babe on total routine, Plastic breast, routine cribtime, CIO, no affection AT ALL (I mean, babe has to learn to be independent
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> )... But it is a total extreme exageration of mainstream and I thought it was a comedy. We went for coffee afterwards, and I was joking with them about how funny the movie was with parents locking him in a crib and wouldn't hold him....
> 
> Well, this friend of my friend says "We use the ferberize method on our son. It works great."
> 
> I blurted out "OMG! I thought it was a joke!" I was dumbfounded. You mean this s%&* is for real? And she did this to her own child!?
> 
> QUOTE]
> 
> I love that movie. I thought it was a joke too...until I started researching everything I could about having a child. I coudn't believe there was an actual "Ferber Method"- And that it meant to do that to your kids!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> : Dh thought it was a joke too so your not alone
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> :


----------



## FarmerCathy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sweetieberlin* 
Today I was talking to my mom, and I told her I was cutting dairy out of my diet... she said, "If you don't have dairy, how can you make any milk?"







:









:







:







:


----------



## In Exile

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cathysteck* 







:







:







:

MOOO!!!


----------



## Harmony96

rofl at the "how do you make milk if you don't drink any"... yeah b/c even COWS don't drink milk to make it.







:


----------



## ThreeBeans

No kidding...the Good Housekeeping book of pregnancy and baby care, which my insurance company sent me when I was expecting my two year old said, "You need to drink milk to make milk"

It advised ordering double portions of milk on your meals while you were in the hospital post-partum.







:

http://www.amazon.com/Good-Housekeep...8402120&sr=8-1

The worst part is I thought it was true.







:


----------



## kkar

An ex-friend (who had no children) told me that I was diapering my 4wk old DD wrong. Um. Ok. I didn't realize that there were "right or wrong" ways to diaper. I just handed her all the diapering supplies and told her she was welcome to the job for the rest of the afternoon.


----------



## libranbutterfly

I had a few "you've got your hands full" today at the store. The cashier also commented that she'd be worried that he would drop a baby if she was using a carrier. I was using a mei tei


----------



## FarmerCathy

Now that is just silly! How can you have your hands full when your babe is in a mei tei?


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## lava

Is gonna be stupid. <G>

She's the only grandmother I know who used to constantly harangue me about not having dd (now 7) in daycare (I'm a WAHM and homeschool)--it just "isn't good for her." Then she'd get on about her hair--she has beautiful white-blond curls. Literally, if the 3 of us were in public, she'd say "have you brushed her hair today" (yes, but it's curly, duh?) and try to pull a hairbrush from her purse and brush it, then say "well, it just looks so bad" and not a minute later someone would stop us to comment on her beautiful hair (when my grandmother was in the hospital, more than once, nurses would "borrow" dd to show her to the other nurses on the floor because "her hair is just so gorgeous." Despite this, my mother STILL says her hair is too messy looking. She's been trying to buy her a full length mirror since she was about 2YO (I won't let her--girls focus too much on their appearance in our society anyway!) "so she'll pay attention to how she looks."

Most holidays, she does NOT take pictures of her grandkids "because you won't put them in nice clothes that match and brush their hair first." Yup, let's dress them up to have fun, not let them be comfortable...argh!

Then there's my FIL. When DS#1 (5.5 years younger than DD) was found on ultrasound to be a boy he said to DH "well, son, that's just wonderful, my baby boy is going to be a father" That's a direct quote! DD pointed out he'd been a father for 5 years and this man said "well, of course, but I mean, this time you're going to have a son, so it will really count". I hate the man--if he didn't live across the country I'd probably have shot him by now!

Oh, and one more. Since #1 is a girl, and #2 is a boy, so many people have been rude to me about having #3 (another boy, and we'd like one more in a year or two). "Why do you need another child, you already have a girl and boy?" My mother actually said (when we showed her the 20-week ultrasound at 5+ months, when it was getting pretty hard to hide that bulge) "Oh, [email protected], you're kidding...tell me you're joking. Why do you need another child, you don't have time..." Etc.! We didn't tell anybody much about #3 because of the generally unfavorable response (he's also only 13 months younger than #2). I do have one wonderful friend who got her feelings hurt about us NOT telling her until about 6 months into it, because "it's your choice, and it's a wonderful baby, no matter what anyone says"...of course, she and her dh also declined to be #3's godparents (they're #1 and #2's godparents) because "if you two really do die, I don't think we can handle 3 kids"...Okay...whatever!

Sorry for the long post...I could go on and on and never go outside my own idiotic family for the stupidity!
-lava


----------



## AllisonR

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lava* 
Since #1 is a girl, and #2 is a boy, so many people have been rude to me about having #3 (another boy, and we'd like one more in a year or two). "Why do you need another child, you already have a girl and boy?" My mother actually said (when we showed her the 20-week ultrasound at 5+ months, when it was getting pretty hard to hide that bulge) "Oh, [email protected], you're kidding...tell me you're joking. Why do you need another child, you don't have time..." Etc.!

Didn't you know it's against the law. You are allowed only 2 children. If they are the opposite sex, you must stop. If they are the same sex, then you are allowed to try one more time, for the "missing" sex. But regardless, after #3, you absolutely must be done, or you are a complete looney bin.







:


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## minkajane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lava* 
Is gonna be stupid. <G>

She's the only grandmother I know who used to constantly harangue me about not having dd (now 7) in daycare (I'm a WAHM and homeschool)--it just "isn't good for her." Then she'd get on about her hair--she has beautiful white-blond curls. Literally, if the 3 of us were in public, she'd say "have you brushed her hair today" (yes, but it's curly, duh?) and try to pull a hairbrush from her purse and brush it, then say "well, it just looks so bad" and not a minute later someone would stop us to comment on her beautiful hair (when my grandmother was in the hospital, more than once, nurses would "borrow" dd to show her to the other nurses on the floor because "her hair is just so gorgeous." Despite this, my mother STILL says her hair is too messy looking. She's been trying to buy her a full length mirror since she was about 2YO (I won't let her--girls focus too much on their appearance in our society anyway!) "so she'll pay attention to how she looks."

Most holidays, she does NOT take pictures of her grandkids "because you won't put them in nice clothes that match and brush their hair first." Yup, let's dress them up to have fun, not let them be comfortable...argh!

Do we have the same mother?


----------



## Lohagrace

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lava* 
Is gonna be stupid. <G>

Then there's my FIL. When DS#1 (5.5 years younger than DD) was found on ultrasound to be a boy he said to DH "well, son, that's just wonderful, my baby boy is going to be a father" That's a direct quote! DD pointed out he'd been a father for 5 years and this man said "well, of course, but I mean, this time you're going to have a son, so it will really count". I hate the man--if he didn't live across the country I'd probably have shot him by now!

-lava

dh is FIL's only son (he has 2 girls also). when he found out our #2 was going to be a boy (#1 is a girl, obviously) he said "oh, thank god." that really pisses me off. he has all this stupid stuff about "carrying on the family name". the family name is VERY VERY common. right up there with smith, so i don't think its going to need help being carried on. its not quite as bad as "its a boy, so it counts now" though!


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## peaceful_mama

I have DS age 2.5 and DD, who will be 4 months the 12th. The *nice* people ask if we're done now and don't comment when I say "I don't think so, I always thought 4 would be a nice #"

I've debated *not* putting one of DD's shower cards in her scrapbook because of a comment from one of the givers on it that says "now your family is complete" (but her dd wrote stuff that makes up for it and makes me want to keep it so I probably will and just use it as an etiquette lesson when the kids are older--where's that snarky smiley?) the sad thing is my friend should know full well I've always wanted 4......and that's even an 'at least' sometimes.

it's not my family though, I've maybe gotten 'well now you can be done' from a couple people, we'll see what happens though when I'm pregnant again







(my mom is one of 6 though that might have something to do with it)


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## Lady Lilya

I get the feeling that a lot of people have children just because that is what they feel they are supposed to do, not because they really want them.

My MIL talked to me about when she had her 2 children. All the women her age in her area were getting married and having children. That was what people like her DID. She couldn't NOT have children. That would have been strange. So, she had them and then spent the following years "dealing with them." My husband clearly suffered from her attitude that he was just an annoyance to put up with.

So, I think a lot of people fall into this. They consider 2 to be the number whereby you have had enough to fit your role in society -- your type as a "family-oriented person."


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## Kaitnbugsmom

the name thing reminds me...

when we decided to have a binding wedding instead of a legal one, *my inlaws went nutso. it's not real if it's not legal, etc.* Yesterday, in fact, I made a comment while talking to dh at his moms to the effect of "well you didn't marry me for my brains" it's a running joke, of course. So his mom pops off with " I didn't know he married you " and glares at us. *oookay.* yeah, they were invited to the ceremony and reception and all that and declined because of the whole legal thing. we ran into them while we were out on our anniversary last year and a couple of our friends had talked us into wearing those goofy 'anniversary' paper hats into walmart for cheap fun so whatever. ugh.

But anyways, my favorite convo regarding us not getting legally married came from his gma on his dad's side. she's horrid as a rule, hides her nasty attitude behind the guise of christian concern, etc. ;(







anyways, so she said "But if it's not legal, you're not really married. *and you can't change your name if it's not legal* to which I replied *I wasn't planning on changing my name anyways* she says *But if you don't Emma will have a different last name than you!"* all flabbergasted and stuff. I reminded her that my older girls have their dad's name, same as I do, and their name wouldn't change even if it were a legally binding ceremony. She in all her glory comes back with *But they don't count!* all serious like. Um, okay. whatever. she's made it clear she doesn't like me, doesn't like my kids, especailly my 8 year old ASD dd. but to be that openly rude and all just blew my mind, even coming from her, and I've heard alot of nasty stuff from her in the 14 years I've known her {Dh and I dated in high school, were engaged and split up thanks in no small part to his family} but that was just so sick it shocked me.


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## WNB

Quote:

Then there's my FIL. When DS#1 (5.5 years younger than DD) was found on ultrasound to be a boy he said to DH "well, son, that's just wonderful, my baby boy is going to be a father" That's a direct quote! DD pointed out he'd been a father for 5 years and this man said "well, of course, but I mean, this time you're going to have a son, so it will really count". I hate the man--if he didn't live across the country I'd probably have shot him by now!
Good grief - I had to read this a few times to process it. How can anyone put so little value on girls and women? grrrrrrrrrrrrrr. I'm sorry you've had to deal with his negativity and wish you luck in protecting your children from its toxic effect.


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## Shenjall

I've encountered the opposite - "you're not really a mother until you have a daughter". Wtf? Really? Many statements along those lines from many different people too. Strange.


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## triscuitsmom

OK... I'm still working my way through this thread (Page 122 to date!!!) but I just had to add a few more gems from my grandfather.

(baby is laying on floor playing on his back, my uncle is behind him on the couch making faces at him upside down from the baby's point of view)

Grandpa walks in... "Don't do that!!! Heavens don't let that child look at you over his shoulder like that, he'll go cross eyed"

And then on the topic of cosleeping:

Gpa: So are you going to get him a bed?
Me: Eventually... when he wants one.
Gpa: Well I'll buy you one just so you know... that way it won't be a money issue.
Me: Well thank you... I'll let you know.
Gpa: Are you sure you don't want one now?
Me: Ummm... we share not only a bed but a room... where would I put it?
Gpa: Well what's in the pink room?
Me: Storage, and a TV... it's very full.
Gpa: Well I'm sure you could squeeze a bed in there.
(I'm thinking... yeah... lets go from having him snuggled with me every single night since he was born to IN ANOTHER ROOM







: )
Me: No, it's really full... and he and I are really happy with how we sleep now.
Gpa (thinks for a long time) Well... I just don't want him to be in your bed still when he's 15 or 16!!!!
Me (starting to laugh but didn't miss a beat): Well good then, in 14 years we'll reevaluate


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## OGirlieMama

I was at my good friend's house yesterday, all four of our (16-month-old) twins were playing in the yard. Her neighbor came over with her 2-year-old. My friend mentioned how tired her son was and how she was afraid he'd fall asleep before dinner and never get to bed that night. The neighbor suggested she "give him a little bit of soda.Coke or root beer is good. Just an ounce or two and it'll wear off in an hour. I used to do it all the time when G was little like that!"









I seriously could not even look at my friend because I would've died laughing and crying all at once. She was very calm and just laughed off the advice. The neighbor continued on to tell her how her 2-year-old drinks soda all the time now.


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## zane'smama

when I first has ds, people used to tell me not to hold him because he might get used to it. Oh no please don't let my baby get used to me holding him. I would tell them that I had a baby to hold him. I wanted a baby to love him not to just look at.

Just the other day, someone told me that I needed to introduce him to a bottle (he is 9 months) so that he wouldn't need me and I could have some time to myself ( this was in response to my statement that I was going to nurse him as long as he wanted). My response was that he is my buddy and we are perfectly happy together. He won't take a bottle. Why would he want a bottle when he can get it straight from the tap.

People are just so concerned about themselves it kills me.


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## ramlita

On the subject of people telling us to drug our children...

I think someone suggested cold medicine to someone in this thread?
To get babies to sleep?

Turns out, such drugs could be lethal (pseudoephedrine, specifically):
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16581772/

I knew a woman who gave her son cough syrup anytime he even rubbed his nose.


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## Shenjall

Quote:

I knew a woman who gave her son cough syrup anytime he even rubbed his nose.
Sadly, I know of someone who gives her kid antibiotics everytime her ds has a cold and if he has allergic reactions (if he's around cats/dogs). Her dr encourages it and writes out the 'scrips.







:


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## stacyann21

After watching me hold ds all afternoon at a recent family gathering DB's grandma called me over and asked me where his "playpen" was. I told her we didn't have one. She gat a confused look on her face and replied, "How will he ever learn to crawl?"


----------



## Katielady

Quote:


Originally Posted by *stacyann21* 
After watching me hold ds all afternoon at a recent family gathering DB's grandma called me over and asked me where his "playpen" was. I told her we didn't have one. She gat a confused look on her face and replied, "How will he ever learn to crawl?"









What?







:









I don't see how anyone gets their baby to tolerate being in a playpen. I think an adult would actually be better suited to sitting in one place like that for so long- I'd love it, I'd read a book, take a nap. But babies want to be on the go! I mean, it's mother nature's plan for them so they, you know, learn stuff, and don't grow up to be potted plants.

Ever read the Contiunuum Concept? I love the part where one of the Yequana dads creates a playpen, puts his kid inside, and when the kid starts squalling the dad takes him out and chops the playpen to bits with an axe.


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## libranbutterfly

I had DD2 in the mei tei one the bus today, and a bunch of older women got on after us. One of them was really concerned that DD was going to suffocate (she was asleep) and then they all talked the rest of the time about how much they hated "those things" because the babies always look so uncomfortable. WTH? I asked them if she looked uncomfortable to them before we got off the bus, and they all agreed that she didnt.


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## libranbutterfly

Quote:


Originally Posted by *FarmerCathy* 
Now that is just silly! How can you have your hands full when your babe is in a mei tei?

















I'm gunna try to work that into my response from now on, I get that comment A LOT.


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## Lohagrace

Quote:


Originally Posted by *libranbutterfly* 







I'm gunna try to work that into my response from now on, I get that comment A LOT.

I get the whole "you sure have your hands full!" comment all the time. today i got it when dd was riding her bike and ds was in teh ergo on my back. i was thinking "how can i have my hands full when NEITHER of my children is being carried by me? in fact, my hands are totally free!" i wasn't even carrying a bag









i know people are just trying to be sweet, so i usually just smile, but i don't understand this comment. i have a baby and a 3 year old. i think its like THE most common ages you see a mom out with...a toddler and a baby. its really not unusual. its not like i have 4 kids or something? or twins? even still, the "you have your hands full" comment always seems to me to have a tinge of "you aren't able to deal with this very well" or "you are having a hard time!"


----------



## unlegal

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lohagrace* 
I get the whole "you sure have your hands full!" comment all the time. today i got it when dd was riding her bike and ds was in teh ergo on my back. i was thinking "how can i have my hands full when NEITHER of my children is being carried by me? in fact, my hands are totally free!" i wasn't even carrying a bag









I got that same comment 3 times today!


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## Dov'sMom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lohagrace* 
I get the whole "you sure have your hands full!" comment all the time. today i got it when dd was riding her bike and ds was in teh ergo on my back. i was thinking "how can i have my hands full when NEITHER of my children is being carried by me? in fact, my hands are totally free!" i wasn't even carrying a bag









i know people are just trying to be sweet, so i usually just smile, but i don't understand this comment. i have a baby and a 3 year old. i think its like THE most common ages you see a mom out with...a toddler and a baby. its really not unusual. its not like i have 4 kids or something? or twins? even still, the "you have your hands full" comment always seems to me to have a tinge of "you aren't able to deal with this very well" or "you are having a hard time!"

I don't know, I just don't see that comment as offensive. To me it sounds like, "Oh, wow, you are dealing with a lot of responsibility. Kudos to you!" Personally, I think having a toddler and a baby, even if it _is_ the way most parents of more than one child end up having them, is difficult, and I don't mind when someone acknowledges it. There's no reason to be snarky about whether you're holding something in your hands -- you _know_ they don't mean it literally. (Not just you -- a bunch of people expressed the same sentiment.) It feels like we all have a lot of superiority about the fact that we wear our babies, which I agree is great -- but motherhood is still hard. Wonderful, exhilarating, thrilling, joyful -- but hard.


----------



## Kateana

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dov'sMom* 
I don't know, I just don't see that comment as offensive. To me it sounds like, "Oh, wow, you are dealing with a lot of responsibility. Kudos to you!" Personally, I think having a toddler and a baby, even if it _is_ the way most parents of more than one child end up having them, is difficult, and I don't mind when someone acknowledges it. There's no reason to be snarky about whether you're holding something in your hands -- you _know_ they don't mean it literally. (Not just you -- a bunch of people expressed the same sentiment.) It feels like we all have a lot of superiority about the fact that we wear our babies, which I agree is great -- but motherhood is still hard. Wonderful, exhilarating, thrilling, joyful -- but hard.

Same here. It does seem to be a silly comment (if taken literally), but not offensive. Besides, I think it's very common for people to think that raising a toddler, much less running errands with one (plus a baby!), is having "your hands full". As for babywearing... I'm not so sure it's so much a superiority thing as a "duh, just wear your baby" thing. As babywearers, we know that it makes life easier, but the non-wearers usually think otherwise.







: (And I'm tired, so I hope all that made sense!)


----------



## sarah0404

Quote:


Originally Posted by *triscuitsmom* 
OK... I'm still working my way through this thread (Page 122 to date!!!) but I just had to add a few more gems from my grandfather.

(baby is laying on floor playing on his back, my uncle is behind him on the couch making faces at him upside down from the baby's point of view)

Grandpa walks in... "Don't do that!!! Heavens don't let that child look at you over his shoulder like that, he'll go cross eyed"


Wow! i thought I was the only one who'd heard this! It must be an old wives tale from days gone by. Both my MIL and FIL completely freaked when DH looked at the baby from over the top of the carseat. I actually burst out laughing and said how stupid it was. I don't think they were impressed!

The weirdest thing I think anyone ever said was from my MIL (again!). My 3rd child had just been born. He was only about 4 hours old. I was holding him and he'd fallen asleep. My MIL came to visit us and asked me "Why are you holding him?" I was like







: Kind of opened and closed my mouth a few times, but nothing would come out. What did she mean why was I holding him? He is my baby! He'd just been born! What was I supposed to be doing with him? So then she started going on about "he'll get spoiled blah blah blah." I said "Excuse me, are any of my other children 'spoiled'? No. Well please keep your opinions to yourself."

She is never happy. After all the spoiling talk she says DH and I are too "harsh" on the children. She'd be the first one complaining if the children were brats though. DH once said to her that everything he does he learned from her and his dad. I found that quite amusing.


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## AlexisT

When we took DD home from the hospital my milk wasn't in and she was getting formula for her jaundice. To prevent nipple confusion (as we were trying to get her to breastfeed and she was having latch problems) we were trying the medela SoftCup feeder.

Now in the UK, after you're discharged from hospital, the community midwives come round to check on you and the baby and make sure everything is all right. So the midwife comes round, and sees me feeding, and tells me that I shouldn't use "that contraption" as she'll forget how to suck! Somehow I don't think a baby can forget that...


----------



## sugarlumpkin

Yesterday I saw the people at the place I worked while I was pregnant with my son (born Jan 6, 2007). While I was there, another woman was also pregnant. Her daughter was born Jan. 7, 2007. So our children are pretty much the same age. I ralise people make different parenting decisions, but some of the things she mentioned just flabbergasted me:

The little girl started on rice cereal at 2 months.
She now (at 4 months) eats applesauce, pears, peaches, and several other fruits I have forgotten.
Her favorite tv shows are: the morning news, wrestling, and monster trucks.

The mother also told me how I should get some of those toys that clip on to the car seat to make my son like it better. I mentioned that I'd read those toys are not safe in an accident and she got very insulted! She said that as much as the children are strapped in to their car seats, at worst the toys might tap them on the nose. I dropped the subject because I didn't want to start an argument and there was already tension in the air.


----------



## In Exile

We are talking about those stuffed thingies you hang on the handle, right??

People forget that they are not supposed to ride with the handle up over the baby. But I see that all the time that the carrying handle is still over the baby. Just not safe. It is supposed to click down away from the baby.


----------



## sugarlumpkin

She was talking about hard plastic things, but mentioned she had some stuffed things too. I always have the handle folded back, as recommended for safety but I also see most other folks with them in the carry position.

Of course, I do not carry my baby in the car seat (and because I have a broken foot right now it is totally out of the question) because it is unweidly and quite heavy with my 18 pound boy in there. I always take him out of the car seat and put him into my homemafe Mei Tai when we go anywhere. Or my husband puts our son in the Bjorn (DH finds the Bjorn much more comfortable that the MT for some reason).


----------



## Lohagrace

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dov'sMom* 
I don't know, I just don't see that comment as offensive. To me it sounds like, "Oh, wow, you are dealing with a lot of responsibility. Kudos to you!" Personally, I think having a toddler and a baby, even if it _is_ the way most parents of more than one child end up having them, is difficult, and I don't mind when someone acknowledges it. There's no reason to be snarky about whether you're holding something in your hands -- you _know_ they don't mean it literally. (Not just you -- a bunch of people expressed the same sentiment.) It feels like we all have a lot of superiority about the fact that we wear our babies, which I agree is great -- but motherhood is still hard. Wonderful, exhilarating, thrilling, joyful -- but hard.

I don't really find it offensive, per se. it just annoys me, i don't really know why. i don't usually hear a "kudos" tone in it. it just seems like so many people are so negative about kids. like, when you are pregnant all you get is "oh, just wait until you get no sleep" and stuff like that. like "you need to give him a bottle so you can get away from him sometimes!" because they are just so awful to be around. then when you have a baby they just talk about the negative. "oh, he's teething, that's SO fun (not)" or "jeez, you really have your hands full" like, its hard having kids. but not like its hard and wonderful, its just hard. people are always like "you think 1 year olds are bad, just wait for age 2!" or like being pregnant with #2 "just wait until you have two kids. it will make having one look so easy" that kind of stuff. its so rare that anyone is like "you are pregnant, omg, you are going to love being a mom, its so wonderful!" or like "you have a 2 year old? aren't they so precious?" ykwim? people love to talk about their experience w/ kids in the negative light. at least that's the way it seems to me, anyway.


----------



## tolovemercy

Still working thru this thread...on pg. 20, so far!








I tend to think that I'm awfully sensitive about this stuff, especially so because all of my inlaws are "babywisers" (hard core, too)...but every time we're at my m & fil's, they always greet ds (6mo.) with a "Oh come here and give your mama a break!". I'm thinking, gee, if he's so troublesome that you think I need a break, save yourself the burden and don't hold him!
I also get totally offended when people say, "Oh, he's spoiled!" WHY has this become such a commonplace word for babies? The food that's been sitting for two weeks in my fridge is spoiled, not my baby! He's loved and cared for...not spoiled. In fact, if anything was going to "spoil" a baby, I don't think love is it!
maybe i'm too easily offended???


----------



## AlexisT

Quote:


Originally Posted by *In Exile* 
We are talking about those stuffed thingies you hang on the handle, right??

People forget that they are not supposed to ride with the handle up over the baby. But I see that all the time that the carrying handle is still over the baby. Just not safe. It is supposed to click down away from the baby.

Interesting, do you have a source? Over here everyone says to leave it in the carry position to act as a roll bar and prevents the baby from being thrown out the rear window.


----------



## the_lissa

It may be different in Europe, but here my car seat manual very clearly stated to never leave the handle in that position in the car.


----------



## Gendenwitha

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AlexisT* 
Interesting, do you have a source? Over here everyone says to leave it in the carry position to act as a roll bar and prevents the baby from being thrown out the rear window.

That seems logical to me. The source for me was after my baby was born I went to the local police dept and someone did a free car-seat check for me.


----------



## Daisie125

Quote:


Originally Posted by *In Exile* 
We are talking about those stuffed thingies you hang on the handle, right??

People forget that they are not supposed to ride with the handle up over the baby. But I see that all the time that the carrying handle is still over the baby. Just not safe. It is supposed to click down away from the baby.


Actually it depends on the seat. Check the owners manual. Mine is perfectly safe in the up or down position.


----------



## triscuitsmom

OK I'm still trying to make my way to the end of this thread but I just had to share some doozies today from the public health nurse who does weigh ins at our Early Years Center...

To start out with my friend S takes her son T back behind the screen and gets him weighed. He's just 6 months old now...

Nurse: "Is he eating solid foods yet?"
S: No... we tried some but he really didn't want it, spit it back out.
N: Of course he did, it's new... you have to force him to eat it.
S: No. He'll let me know when he's ready.
N: No he won't. I've been telling you for the last month you have to get some food into that boy. There is a limited window you know and if you miss it he will never learn to eat!

So then we go back...

N: So what stage food is he on now?
Me: Well, we're self feeding regular food but he isn't eating any right now.
N: Well why not?
Me: He doesn't tolerate it well... I have decided not to push since his tummy obviously isn't ready.
N: He *needs* solid food. What is he eating?
Me: Breastmilk
N: That does not have enough vitamins or calories alone at this age. When is his next Dr. appointment?
Me: Next month, he'll be 9 months (what I neglected to say was that I am cancelling it)
N: That is not soon enough... you need to call and get him in immediately.








: Seriously! He is happy, healthy, learning to walk and talk, totally social, ppes and poops frequently... what the heck am I supposed to be worried about again????

Ugh... she's like this ALL the time. And she sees about 20 Moms every week just at our site for that 3 hours on Thursday.... plus all the Moms she sees the other days.







:


----------



## LaurenB

OMG!







He's never going to learn how to eat and you're going to have to breastfeed him for the rest of your life!!!!!


----------



## BF124497

DH and I went to our first prenatal appointment, where we filled out a questionnaire about our medical histories. It included a section for marking your ethnicity, which helps determine risk factors for particular genetic anomalies. We're a multiracial family, so there were lots of boxes for us to check.

The midwife looked it over, and I asked if we were considered higher-risk since we were included in so many categories.

"No," she answered, "That's the nice thing about mongrels. They water down the gene pool and lower your risk for problems."

Really, we're _mongrels_?


----------



## triscuitsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zakers_mama* 
mostly I get really good comments about the sling though EVERYONE keeps saying 'oh I wish they had those when *I* had babies....'









I get this *all* the time. People are always commenting on all the new thngs people think of when they see me in a carrier. I gently point out that we've been carrying our babies like this (since I am usually in a wrap or MT) for a looooooong time. I had one lady tell me after I said that that I was wrong, she was quite sure that this was a new thing they had just come out with....


----------



## triscuitsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lohagrace* 
I don't really find it offensive, per se. it just annoys me, i don't really know why. i don't usually hear a "kudos" tone in it. it just seems like so many people are so negative about kids. like, when you are pregnant all you get is "oh, just wait until you get no sleep" and stuff like that. like "you need to give him a bottle so you can get away from him sometimes!" because they are just so awful to be around. then when you have a baby they just talk about the negative. "oh, he's teething, that's SO fun (not)" or "jeez, you really have your hands full" like, its hard having kids. but not like its hard and wonderful, its just hard. people are always like "you think 1 year olds are bad, just wait for age 2!" or like being pregnant with #2 "just wait until you have two kids. it will make having one look so easy" that kind of stuff. its so rare that anyone is like "you are pregnant, omg, you are going to love being a mom, its so wonderful!" or like "you have a 2 year old? aren't they so precious?" ykwim? people love to talk about their experience w/ kids in the negative light. at least that's the way it seems to me, anyway.

You are not alone Mama. When I was pregnant and talking about breastfeeding with one of my at the time close friends who already had a daughter who had just weaned at 18 months and is very pro-breastfeeding she told me to not expect breastfeeding to be something I could do. She said it was terribly hard and painful and that I just might not be able to do it. I could NOT believe this came from her...

Then at my baby shower everyone went around and gave me their best parenting advice (which was such a riot... my parents and best friends Mom were there, a bunch of childless friends, this one friend who had a child, and my two younger siblings... I got some great "advice"







) But when it was H's turn to give me her advice she said:

"Make sure you get away from the baby sometimes. Hand him/her off to your Mom and leave. You need to do this on a regular basis because sometimes you will hate being a mother. It's normal. You will hate being a mother and sometimes you may even feel you hate the baby... just take a break and it will help make it better."

I was shocked... still am. FWIW, he is 8 months old and I have never hated being a mother. I cannot even fathom what it would take for me to hate him. And I am a single mother, was a full time DE university student from when he was 10 days old, and generally have stresses in my life but he is the best thing that's ever happened to me. Bad days... even awful days, sure... but hating motherhood or my baby????

It made me cry for her daughter... and now even though she says this sort of thing fairly regularily she is pregnant again


----------



## Tilia

Quote:


Originally Posted by *veganjoy* 
DH and I went to our first prenatal appointment, where we filled out a questionnaire about our medical histories. It included a section for marking your ethnicity, which helps determine risk factors for particular genetic anomalies. We're a multiracial family, so there were lots of boxes for us to check.

The midwife looked it over, and I asked if we were considered higher-risk since we were included in so many categories.

"No," she answered, "*That's the nice thing about mongrels*. They water down the gene pool and lower your risk for problems."

Really, we're _mongrels_?

























WTH??


----------



## Fujiko

Quote:


Originally Posted by *veganjoy* 
DH and I went to our first prenatal appointment, where we filled out a questionnaire about our medical histories. It included a section for marking your ethnicity, which helps determine risk factors for particular genetic anomalies. We're a multiracial family, so there were lots of boxes for us to check.

The midwife looked it over, and I asked if we were considered higher-risk since we were included in so many categories.

"No," she answered, "That's the nice thing about mongrels. They water down the gene pool and lower your risk for problems."

Really, we're _mongrels_?

OMG I can't believe she said that! I would have looked at her as if there were flames coming out of her head.

I'm 1/4 Japanese and once my boss referred to me as a "person of color". Which is funny because I take after the norwegian side of my family, my color is PALE! I don't look Japanese at all.


----------



## AlexisT

Quote:


Originally Posted by *triscuitsmom* 
You are not alone Mama. When I was pregnant and talking about breastfeeding with one of my at the time close friends who already had a daughter who had just weaned at 18 months and is very pro-breastfeeding she told me to not expect breastfeeding to be something I could do. She said it was terribly hard and painful and that I just might not be able to do it. I could NOT believe this came from her...

Then at my baby shower everyone went around and gave me their best parenting advice (which was such a riot... my parents and best friends Mom were there, a bunch of childless friends, this one friend who had a child, and my two younger siblings... I got some great "advice"







) But when it was H's turn to give me her advice she said:

"Make sure you get away from the baby sometimes. Hand him/her off to your Mom and leave. You need to do this on a regular basis because sometimes you will hate being a mother. It's normal. You will hate being a mother and sometimes you may even feel you hate the baby... just take a break and it will help make it better."

I was shocked... still am. FWIW, he is 8 months old and I have never hated being a mother. I cannot even fathom what it would take for me to hate him. And I am a single mother, was a full time DE university student from when he was 10 days old, and generally have stresses in my life but he is the best thing that's ever happened to me. Bad days... even awful days, sure... but hating motherhood or my baby????

It made me cry for her daughter... and now even though she says this sort of thing fairly regularily she is pregnant again









I don't know. If it's a pattern, then maybe it's her, but as a one-off I would probably be putting it down to being nice, and telling you it doesn't make you a bad mother if you have days where you hate it and in fact it's quite normal. I know I've heard similar things in books and from other people--the idea being that many women feel that it's horrible and abnormal if they don't love being a mommy every second. I don't think I've ever hated motherhood, but I have had some frustrated moments. I don't think the kind of "hatng motherhood" that's referred to is a consistent feeling, or rational--just when you have a really crappy day, or the baby is being absolutely impossible, and it's all so much that you just hate it. And that can happen to the best of mothers.

Unrelated: Found the manual for my car seat and it refers to handle-up as 'driving/carrying position'. And the illustrations show it strapped in with the handle out. Phew. So, at least for the Maxi-Cosi CabrioFix, it's right.









Cannot believe the mongrel comment...


----------



## Megali

Quote:


Originally Posted by *triscuitsmom* 
You are not alone Mama. When I was pregnant and talking about breastfeeding with one of my at the time close friends who already had a daughter who had just weaned at 18 months and is very pro-breastfeeding she told me to not expect breastfeeding to be something I could do. She said it was terribly hard and painful and that I just might not be able to do it. I could NOT believe this came from her...

Then at my baby shower everyone went around and gave me their best parenting advice (which was such a riot... my parents and best friends Mom were there, a bunch of childless friends, this one friend who had a child, and my two younger siblings... I got some great "advice"







) But when it was H's turn to give me her advice she said:

"Make sure you get away from the baby sometimes. Hand him/her off to your Mom and leave. You need to do this on a regular basis because sometimes you will hate being a mother. It's normal. You will hate being a mother and sometimes you may even feel you hate the baby... just take a break and it will help make it better."

I was shocked... still am. FWIW, he is 8 months old and I have never hated being a mother. I cannot even fathom what it would take for me to hate him. And I am a single mother, was a full time DE university student from when he was 10 days old, and generally have stresses in my life but he is the best thing that's ever happened to me. Bad days... even awful days, sure... but hating motherhood or my baby????

It made me cry for her daughter... and now even though she says this sort of thing fairly regularily she is pregnant again









Do you think that she might have unresolved PPD issues? I love my son immensely but there are times when I really need a break or I feel like I might lose it. I'm a SAHM whose DH is gone for 12-13 hours a day and my DS sleeps pretty crappy sometimes. I've never functioned well on little sleep and when DS gets up every hour like he did last night, I admit that I've had feelings of hating motherhood and irrational hatred towards him. I HATE, HATE, HATE that I've ever felt that way and thankfully I have a lot of support in my DH and my family that helps me through those moments. If she still feels this way, I'd imagine that after her new baby is born she might have an especially rough time. Make sure you're there for her!

Back on topic. Just recently we went on vacation and we were taking DS in the pool for the first time. DS has my husband's coloring - very, very, very pale. Knowing that DH has three colors: white, pink, and lobster red, we have been cautious about DS in the sun. He always has a hat on and I put sunscreen on him even if we're just running to the store. Well, we had only been out for five minutes and were walking towards the pool to go in and this older woman started freaking out telling us that we can't have our son in the sun, he'll get sunstroke. Um, ok, I'll never let him play outside then, thanks lady! Nevermind that it was later in the day (5:00), he had one of those hats on that cover the ears and the back of the neck, he was covered in a second coat of sunscreen that left him looking white than normal, and our plans were to head back to the hotel room in about 20 minutes anyway to limit DS' sun exposure.


----------



## frontierpsych

When I mentioned using cloth diapers, my dad said using disposables is so much easier because you just use them 5 or 6 times then toss them!








(my dad's a goof)

I also had a dear (but incredibly ditzy) friend tell me I shouldn't go swimming while pregnant because the baby might drown!


----------



## melissakc

The stupidest parenting advice I ever got was from my SIL, who has no children but worked in daycare (so therefore knows everything about babies):

"Crying is good for babies' lungs" and "Crying helps babies fall asleep."







:

Actually, I take that back. I think the stupidest parenting advice I ever got came from our FORMER pediatrician who told me:

"Cosleeping creates a codependent relationship between you and your child and is unhealthy. CIO is the only way she will ever fall asleep on her own." This woman has four children. Poor things.







:

Why does everyone love to hear children crying? I just don't get it!


----------



## bluetoes

'If you don't circumsise your son he'll get lint stuck under his foreskin.'

Um ok I have heard a lot of reasons, but foreskin lint is definitely the most bizarre!


----------



## In Exile

Quote:

'If you don't circumsise your son he'll get lint stuck under his foreskin.'

Um ok I have heard a lot of reasons, but foreskin lint is definitely the most bizarre!








:


----------



## Katielady

Quote:

'If you don't circumsise your son he'll get lint stuck under his foreskin.'

Um ok I have heard a lot of reasons, but foreskin lint is definitely the most bizarre!
Wow. In that case, I must have 32 years worth of lint trapped under my labia. Maybe I'll dig it out and make it into a sweater!


----------



## ThreeBeans

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Katielady* 
Wow. In that case, I must have 32 years worth of lint trapped under my labia. Maybe I'll dig it out and make it into a sweater!


----------



## AnnieMarie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Katielady* 
Wow. In that case, I must have 32 years worth of lint trapped under my labia. Maybe I'll dig it out and make it into a sweater!






























:


----------



## Harmony96

Quote:


Originally Posted by *melissakc* 
Why does everyone love to hear children crying? I just don't get it!

This comment reminded me of something totally unrelated to the vein of this thread... but at our last local babywearing meeting, there were two mamas there with new ones, one was 10 days and the other was 5-6 weeks. And later during the meeting they got hungry and briefly made that sweet-sounding little newborn cry. DD's only 5 months old, but seeing and hearing those teeny ones made me SO want another one.


----------



## hibana

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Harmony96* 
This comment reminded me of something totally unrelated to the vein of this thread... but at our last local babywearing meeting, there were two mamas there with new ones, one was 10 days and the other was 5-6 weeks. And later during the meeting they got hungry and briefly made that sweet-sounding little newborn cry. DD's only 5 months old, but seeing and hearing those teeny ones made me SO want another one.









another OT post... saw a 4-week-old while out getting groceries... she did the little newborn cry and I let down... she was soo little, and yet I knew from talking to the mama that my dd was smaller at that age.


----------



## tolovemercy

oh, I've sooo been having "the itch" for another one, and ds isn't quite 6 months yet! I've been having dreams about positive pregnancy tests--am I the only one who has these???


----------



## ThreeBeans

We saw a newborn the other day too...that little cry, it makes my breasts ache, it's so sweet and pathetic







:


----------



## LaurenB

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Katielady* 
Wow. In that case, I must have 32 years worth of lint trapped under my labia. Maybe I'll dig it out and make it into a sweater!

Awesome! This is a great craft idea!


----------



## Lohagrace

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Katielady* 
Wow. In that case, I must have 32 years worth of lint trapped under my labia. Maybe I'll dig it out and make it into a sweater!

uke









i have to say, i've been pretty surprised lately at some semi-crunchy people i know--seeing their ds' nekkid and seeing that they were circ'd. i never can say anything, but i was really surprised that this one mom i know did that (her ds is now 10 mo). i don't get it.


----------



## NewMama2007

We were out at a local restaurant with the IL's for DH's birthday. DD started to cry while MIL was holding her (MIL makes her cry a lot - she doesn't hold DD the way she likes to be held and won't listen when we tell her how to hold her) and MIL just held on to her and said "I love to see her cry"! I was dumbstruck. It was everything I had not to crawl over the table and take my poor crying baby back.







:


----------



## AllisonR

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NewMama2007* 
MIL just held on to her and said "I love to see her cry"!

That's perverse. If it ever happens again, please please ask her, in a really serious but non-aggressive tone why she loves to see her grandchild cry. I'd really like to hear the rational in that.


----------



## tolovemercy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NewMama2007* 
We were out at a local restaurant with the IL's for DH's birthday. DD started to cry while MIL was holding her (MIL makes her cry a lot - she doesn't hold DD the way she likes to be held and won't listen when we tell her how to hold her) and MIL just held on to her and said "I love to see her cry"! I was dumbstruck. It was everything I had not to crawl over the table and take my poor crying baby back.







:

My MIL said that too, about ds. "I just think it's so funny when he cries!" I think she just meant that he *looks* funny when he cries--but STILL...
Needless to say, she hasn't ever babysat for us. And I don't plan on that changing any time soon.


----------



## ecoteat

My MIL has said she likes seeing dd cry too, but I think it just means she likes being able to experience as much of dd's life as possible, especially since she only gets to see her every few months. Last October she was visiting when dd got an eye infection and came with us to several unpleasant dr. appointments. She obviously didn't enjoy them, but I think she was thankful to have been a part of it just because it was a part of dd's life.


----------



## MamaVolpe

:


----------



## Dov'sMom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ecoteat* 
My MIL has said she likes seeing dd cry too, but I think it just means she likes being able to experience as much of dd's life as possible, especially since she only gets to see her every few months. Last October she was visiting when dd got an eye infection and came with us to several unpleasant dr. appointments. She obviously didn't enjoy them, but I think she was thankful to have been a part of it just because it was a part of dd's life.

Yes, I've got to say, on the crying babies -- they rarely mean that they _want_ the babies to cry. My DH is the most loving father there is, but the other day DS was crying in my arms (someone let him fall off a bed, but that's another story) (we knew he was fine -- he cried right away and almost immediately his cry changed from pain/shock to I'm-not-happy-please-love-me-a-lot) and DH said something like, "Oh, it's so sad, but he's so _cute_ when he cries!" I'm not cutting off DH's babysitting privileges anytime soon...


----------



## User101

Not exactly about parenting, but strange just the same.

We went out to eat on Mother's Day, with my two-week-old. Lots of people seemed shocked to see him in the sling, but the alternative was me cooking, and that wasn't going to happen,







.

Anyway, a waitress was asking how much he weighed when he was born. I said, "Nine pounds." She said, "No, he's too small." I said, "No, really, he weighed nine pounds." She said, "All mothers think their babies are bigger than they are."

Um, what? It isn't like we held him in one hand and a nine pound bag of potatoes in the other and said, "Well, yeah, I guess they're about the same." We did actually _weigh_ him, and he was nine pounds.


----------



## triscuitsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
Not exactly about parenting, but strange just the same.

We went out to eat on Mother's Day, with my two-week-old. Lots of people seemed shocked to see him in the sling, but the alternative was me cooking, and that wasn't going to happen,







.

Anyway, a waitress was asking how much he weighed when he was born. I said, "Nine pounds." She said, "No, he's too small." I said, "No, really, he weighed nine pounds." She said, "All mothers think their babies are bigger than they are."

Um, what? It isn't like we held him in one hand and a nine pound bag of potatoes in the other and said, "Well, yeah, I guess they're about the same." We did actually _weigh_ him, and he was nine pounds.

Ummm that is really really nutty!!!

I wonder if people just forget how big (their) babies are? My closest Mother friend (most of my friends are childless) showed up (uninvited/unannouced







: ) when T was 2.5 days old. She held him and told me how little he was and how her daughter was much bigger (and stronger of course







: ) I pointed out that he was almost a half a pound heavier than her at birth AND he only ever lost 1 ounce, whereas they had a lot of trouble nursing and her daugther barely even latched (and recieved no supplmentation) for the first three days and lost quite a bit of weight.

She kept insisting though







: People confuse me...


----------



## In Exile

My MIL is confusing me. We went for a visit over the weekend and everytime DS did so much as a whimper, she would say in coocheecoochecoovoice "I've heard it all before, it doesn't change anything". What the hell does that mean???


----------



## cinnamonamon

Quote:


Originally Posted by *In Exile* 
My MIL is confusing me. We went for a visit over the weekend and everytime DS did so much as a whimper, she would say in coocheecoochecoovoice "I've heard it all before, it doesn't change anything". What the hell does that mean???

Why, it means that evil little child of yours isn't going to convince her to do what he wants her to just because he's crying in distress...










You know how manipulative those infants are, after all.


----------



## prettypixels

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cinnamonamon* 
Why, it means that evil little child of yours isn't going to convince her to do what he wants her to just because he's crying in distress...










You know how manipulative those infants are, after all.
















Hmmm, I wonder if THAT is what my MIL means.

I handed her my daughter to hold and said "I don't know if this will work, she's fussy." Meaning, of course, if she isn't happy I'm taking her right back because I already know she's not in a great mood.

She said... "It's ok if she fusses!" Then to the baby "It's ok if you fuss, isn't it! Yes it is!"

Ummm... no. If she fusses, I'm taking her back. She did, I did.

But I wonder if that is what she meant. Like she'd be happy holding a fussing, upset baby!


----------



## MelissaEvans

Quote:


Originally Posted by *triscuitsmom* 
I wonder if people just forget how big (their) babies are? My closest Mother friend (most of my friends are childless) showed up (uninvited/unannouced







: ) when T was 2.5 days old. She held him and told me how little he was and how her daughter was much bigger (and stronger of course







: ) I pointed out that he was almost a half a pound heavier than her at birth AND he only ever lost 1 ounce, whereas they had a lot of trouble nursing and her daugther barely even latched (and recieved no supplmentation) for the first three days and lost quite a bit of weight.

She kept insisting though







: People confuse me...

It's a competition, silly! Whoever has the biggest strongest baby gets a prize - or at least gets to rub it in other mom's noses. You must have missed that issue of American Parenting Today. =)


----------



## Unreal

And here I am with my three huge kids wishing I just had ONE petite kid
that took longer than a week to blow through a clothes or diaper size!


----------



## ramlita

Brag, brag, brag.


----------



## Demeter9

When carrying my first child in my Maya wrap. An elderly lady stops with her walker, looks at me in a concerned way and says, "oh dear girl. Are you too poor for a stroller?"

A lot of people talk to me all the time - I seem to inspire people to chat. But that one has stuck with me for 5 years now as one of the oddest moments of parenthood.


----------



## SwanMom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Katielady* 
What?







:









I don't see how anyone gets their baby to tolerate being in a playpen. I think an adult would actually be better suited to sitting in one place like that for so long- I'd love it, I'd read a book, take a nap. But babies want to be on the go! I mean, it's mother nature's plan for them so they, you know, learn stuff, and don't grow up to be potted plants.

When I was growing up, we had this expandable playpen--totally unsafe, but back then everything was, right? Anyhow, my mom would put herself in the playpen with whatever she was doing and we kids would play outside of it.  I have a vivid memory of her working on the taxes. She could keep an eye on us, but we couldn't mess up the papers.


----------



## CorasMama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SwanMom* 
my mom would put herself in the playpen with whatever she was doing and we kids would play outside of it. 

Omg that is one of the funniest things ever! And clever, too!


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *In Exile* 
My MIL is confusing me. We went for a visit over the weekend and everytime DS did so much as a whimper, she would say in coocheecoochecoovoice "I've heard it all before, it doesn't change anything". What the hell does that mean???

That just sounds like a variant on my habit of saying "Is that the case?" and "Really, tell me more" when a little one makes babbling sounds. As long as she's using a gentle tone of voice and responds when he needs something, I wouldn't worry. I'll also respond to a bit of fussing "I know it's so tough to be the baby" in a soothing/sympathetic voice. It's just a habitual way of telling the baby "people you know are here, we are listening"


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *prettypixels* 
Hmmm, I wonder if THAT is what my MIL means.

I handed her my daughter to hold and said "I don't know if this will work, she's fussy." Meaning, of course, if she isn't happy I'm taking her right back because I already know she's not in a great mood.

She said... "It's ok if she fusses!" Then to the baby "It's ok if you fuss, isn't it! Yes it is!"

Ummm... no. If she fusses, I'm taking her back. She did, I did.

But I wonder if that is what she meant. Like she'd be happy holding a fussing, upset baby!

No, unless your MIL is usually horrible, I expect she meant that she loves your daughter no matter what.


----------



## janerose

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
That just sounds like a variant on my habit of saying "Is that the case?" and "Really, tell me more" when a little one makes babbling sounds. As long as she's using a gentle tone of voice and responds when he needs something, I wouldn't worry. I'll also respond to a bit of fussing "I know it's so tough to be the baby" in a soothing/sympathetic voice. It's just a habitual way of telling the baby "people you know are here, we are listening"

This is exactly what I was thinking! I do the same thing & it's not meant in a bad way at all. Also, I do this if I'm in the middle of something that can't be dropped right away & the baby starts fussing (like taking something out of the oven or going potty or whatever) so they know I can hear them.

I do say exactly what the OP's mom said too. Especially when the baby is fussing & NOTHING you do will console them. Also in a kindly voice though. Usually it means that, well, a baby is a baby & no amount of fussing is going to change that, KWIM?









Holly


----------



## Harmony96

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
I'll also respond to a bit of fussing "I know it's so tough to be the baby" in a soothing/sympathetic voice. It's just a habitual way of telling the baby "people you know are here, we are listening"

I totally use those exact same words too. And then reading here that others use them made me start crying.









I also say "What's your troubles?" or "What's your matters?" (yes, with the bad grammar. lol)

Hm, this thread is soooo long and venty... I wonder if there's a similar thread out there but opposite, like listing out all the nice and helpful things that people say to you. Of course, it probably wouldn't be NEARLY as long as this one...


----------



## sapphire_chan

Yes, there are several "what's the best parenting advice you've ever gotten?" and countless "I was told the sweetest thing today" threads. We try to spread the positive out and isolate the negative (other than actual requests for help) in this thread.


----------



## Khourtniey

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Harmony96* 
I totally use those exact same words too. And then reading here that others use them made me start crying.









I also say "What's your troubles?" or "What's your matters?" (yes, with the bad grammar. lol)

Hm, this thread is soooo long and venty... I wonder if there's a similar thread out there but opposite, like listing out all the nice and helpful things that people say to you. Of course, it probably wouldn't be NEARLY as long as this one...
















Just chiming in.. I do it too especially with my youngest who just likes to cry for no reason at times.. I ask him "Whats your problem little guy" Or "Whats *YOUR* majour malfunction today" It normally stops the crying cos he thinks Im a nut.


----------



## Khourtniey

Quote:


Originally Posted by *saratchka* 







I'm sure these people don't mean to be cruel, but what are they thinking?







If you want to be really technical, these kids are being breastfed, if indirectly or not exclusively. After all, breastmilk is getting into their tummies, so a breast is involved. :LOL I'm not sure why some folks feel the need to make such distinctions, though. As far as I can tell, the result is generally hurtful, and I just can't see who benefits.








to everyone who's doing her best for her baby!

Responding to WAY old post here, but...

You know.. I was made to feel very uncomfortable at a LLL meeting because I was EPing (baby could not latch). I was told by some that I was not welcome because I was not breastfeeding...







I was hurt for days


----------



## Midwitch

The stupidest thing I've been told, was when DD had colic and people told me to let her CIO


----------



## lisarussell

OK this wasn't actually said to me but it is so funny I have repeated it a few times just for kicks.

Woman #1 is pregnant with baby #5
Woman #2 is just plain stupid

#2- Oh, when is your baby due?
#1- In another 6 weeks
#2- How exciting, Is this your first one?
#1- no this will be our fifth
#2- Oh, so have you decided what you'll do if it's black?
#1- Um, no. It won't be black.
#2- Well, 1 out of every 5 babies born in the USA is black, so it could be.







:


----------



## lisarussell

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Khourtniey* 
Just chiming in.. I do it too especially with my youngest who just likes to cry for no reason at times.. I ask him "Whats your problem little guy" Or "Whats *YOUR* majour malfunction today" It normally stops the crying cos he thinks Im a nut.

Yeah- talking to your babies makes them smarter and when you're bored with running through the day's activities "Mommy's making dinner right now, let's turn the lights off, who's at the door? Look at that bird in the sky" It's kind of nice to respond to the sounds they have initiated. It teaches them about taking turns in conversation, they learn that a voice whose pitch goes up at the end is asking a question and sometimes it makes them laugh when you react surprised, "No way, you're kidding" or "Eww that's disgusting." It teaches kids that interacting through conversation is a worthwhile pastime and an effective means of communication. Imitating the sounds they've made makes them giggle at first, then inspires them to repeat you. It's how language is learned.

I don't think it matters what we say to the tiny babies- they don't know that Grandma's words of "I've heard it all before" are a little bit demeaning and dismissive, they just know and appreciate that they're getting a return on their vocal investment. Probably he best thing you can do (especially in front of Grandma) is send him a very different message that says "Good point, that was an interesting way of putting it, you're quite insightful, I never thought of it like that. Well, did you think she intended to be rude or is that just her way? Ahhh, good point. So you're saying I shouldn't be concerned because she means well" And maybe in a roundabout way you can get Grandma to notice that her words (probably the same ones she's been using with babies since it was fashionable) are rude.

I was shopping with a girlfriend and her son was hollering (happily) in the stroller and an old lady walked past and leaned into the stroller and said "Imagine that, coming from a little man like yourself. I think you're hot stuff, too, thank you." And she walked away, didn't even look at us. He must have been very amused by her.


----------



## LadyButler

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lisarussell* 
OK this wasn't actually said to me but it is so funny I have repeated it a few times just for kicks.

Woman #1 is pregnant with baby #5
Woman #2 is just plain stupid

#2- Oh, when is your baby due?
#1- In another 6 weeks
#2- How exciting, Is this your first one?
#1- no this will be our fifth
#2- Oh, so have you decided what you'll do if it's black?
#1- Um, no. It won't be black.
#2- Well, 1 out of every 5 babies born in the USA is black, so it could be.







:


----------



## ashleyhaugh

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lisarussell* 
OK this wasn't actually said to me but it is so funny I have repeated it a few times just for kicks.

Woman #1 is pregnant with baby #5
Woman #2 is just plain stupid

#2- Oh, when is your baby due?
#1- In another 6 weeks
#2- How exciting, Is this your first one?
#1- no this will be our fifth
#2- Oh, so have you decided what you'll do if it's black?
#1- Um, no. It won't be black.
#2- Well, 1 out of every 5 babies born in the USA is black, so it could be.







:









:

goodness... thats one of the oddest ive heard in this thread, lol


----------



## MommyofPunkiePie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lisarussell* 
#2- Oh, when is your baby due?
#1- In another 6 weeks
#2- How exciting, Is this your first one?
#1- no this will be our fifth
#2- Oh, so have you decided what you'll do if it's black?
#1- Um, no. It won't be black.
#2- Well, 1 out of every 5 babies born in the USA is black, so it could be.









laughup


----------



## JustKiya

This thread has just cemented my certainty that I most CERTAINLY won't tell my coworkers when I get pregnant - they'll just have to figure it out on their own.


----------



## kater07

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dov'sMom* 
Yes, I've got to say, on the crying babies -- they rarely mean that they _want_ the babies to cry. My DH is the most loving father there is, but the other day DS was crying in my arms (someone let him fall off a bed, but that's another story) (we knew he was fine -- he cried right away and almost immediately his cry changed from pain/shock to I'm-not-happy-please-love-me-a-lot) and DH said something like, "Oh, it's so sad, but he's so _cute_ when he cries!" I'm not cutting off DH's babysitting privileges anytime soon...


MIL got VERY VERY angry with me when DS was just about 2 weeks old. He was S C R E A M I N G and I couldn't get him to stop. He didn't want to nurse or snuggle, so I laid him on my lap and proceeded to laugh so hard I almost peed my pants. I couldn't stop laughing. He was sooooo mad, and it was either laugh or cry. He was so cute when he got mad like that, it wasn't FUN for me, but I was a new mom and figured that my stress would mess him up, so I laughed. I thought he was funny, but not in a way that made me WANT him to cry.

MIL told me how awful it was that I laughed at him when he was so mad. *shrug*. He never cried long after I started laughing.


----------



## kater07

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SwanMom* 
When I was growing up, we had this expandable playpen--totally unsafe, but back then everything was, right? Anyhow, my mom would put herself in the playpen with whatever she was doing and we kids would play outside of it.  I have a vivid memory of her working on the taxes. She could keep an eye on us, but we couldn't mess up the papers.


WHAT AN AWESOME IDEA!!! I NEED ONE!

Sorry for yelling, but I'm having a TERRIBLE day. I wish I had a playpen, too. It needs to be soundproof.


----------



## mamadelbosque

DH has told me several times now that DS "is very cute when hes upset, you know?" or, as DS is crying "you know, its kind of funny when hes so upset and crying..." and... I hate to admit this, but it kind of is. Its also very sad, but also, when you watch him crying... its kind of funny, he get SO worked up he'll start coughing and so that just makes him cry more.. its a really vicious cyle!!


----------



## mamalisa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lisarussell* 
OK this wasn't actually said to me but it is so funny I have repeated it a few times just for kicks.

Woman #1 is pregnant with baby #5
Woman #2 is just plain stupid

#2- Oh, when is your baby due?
#1- In another 6 weeks
#2- How exciting, Is this your first one?
#1- no this will be our fifth
#2- Oh, so have you decided what you'll do if it's black?
#1- Um, no. It won't be black.
#2- Well, 1 out of every 5 babies born in the USA is black, so it could be.







:

Sweet mercy







: I'm dying over here...


----------



## coloradomama1

i have a chunky, healthy breastfed baby who is now starting to thin out at 9 months but ever since she was born i've had to endure the, "she's such a BIG baby!" comments. my response is always, "yup, she's a healthy breastfed baby!".
the topper was that someone i know tried to tell me repeatedly that i was bfing too much and making her fat!!!! also, "she's 6 months old, you don't need to nurse so much anymore." this was from a friend who did not breastfeed and i've had to ignore lots of related comments in order to save the friendship.


----------



## coloradomama1

i just remembered this one...my FIL-"let her CIO, it's good for them to exercise their lungs." seriously?!


----------



## In Exile

And here I thought "Bubba" ist a thing of the south?? Everywhere I go my baby get's called Bubba??


----------



## In Exile

Yesterday I was at the evil Walmart carrying my 12 week old little guy on my arm. Inside buildings he hates the sling or wrap and always always hates the carseat anyway so of course I take him out and leave that thing in the car.

So i push the cart and carry baby- come a guy along with baby all strapped in the travelsystem and a blanket over the seat and gives me an evil stare and then proceeds to tell me it's dangerous and I NEED a carseat. WTF??
It's IN THE CAR which is why it is called carseat, gee, not every baby is actually content being wheeled around in the bucket, mine screams bloody murder most of the time.

I always get those stare from younger people when I actually have baby on my arm in the store, they must think I am too poor for a carseat and thus endangering my baby. I can tell by the stares that they think I some loser that can't afford the carseat- never seems to occur to them to leave the carseat in the car.


----------



## Flower of Bliss

I was getting a big project done at a copy place, so for about a week I was in there nearly every day. It was Christmas time so we often had to wait in quite a line. I always wore DD in a pocket sling while I was there. I often nursed her in the sling while I was there.

One of the employees was telling me how good DD was as she never cried (at the faintest hint of a fuss I started nursing her, but I doubt the employee noticed that). The employee then commented on how cool the sling was. Then she asked "Does she ride in that in the car" I told her of course not. So she followed up with "Then what _does_ she ride in?"







She rides in a car seat in the car.


----------



## In Exile

It's like you're obligated to have baby in the carseat when you're shopping, DUH!!!

Too baby my little one refuses the sling inside buildings, he is only okay with it outside- so inside I have to carry him on my arm which gets a little heavy after a while. Putting stuff on the belt, paying and so on is a little tricky with munchkin there.


----------



## Ish'smom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *frodo* 
i'm vegetarian & we're raising both kids vegetarian. here's my winner for dumbest comment, made while i was pregnant with ny second. she was very small, due to my chronic ridiculously high blood pressure, but extremely healthy and very active. hearing me complain about her constant movement (she'd get her little feet into the oddest places and then S-T-R-E-T-C-H.) one of my husband's friends told me that there was probably something wrong with her & that the reason why she wiggled so much was because she had indigestion because "she wasn't used to a vegetarian diet".







: wha?

as for all the people who wouldn't breastfeed because they didn't have any milk, well i REALLY didn't have enough milk. my daughter was a preemie, small even for a preemie (3lbs 6 oz), gaining weight so slowly she was off the curve, & in the special care nursury for 3 weeks. i was having the hardest time letting down to my crappy little manual pump, and the hospital refused to rent us a pump because we choose not to have a credit card. when i finally got her home my milk came in but i started having problems with extreme pain while nursing, due to the fact that her mouth was too small to latch properly, she wanted to nurse every hour or more, & my nipples were traumatized. i am still having trouble with pain & cracks that even lansinoh won't heal (posted "help!" in bfing "overcoming difficulties" board.) even one of the hospital lactation consultants was suggesting i give it up.

my daughter is 6 months old on the 30th. if i can breastfeed for SIX MONTHS through all that & still keep going then these twits can stick it out till their milk comes in. no, of course its not "easy". "easy" is for wussies, not parents.

frodo

You're my hero. I had Bf troubles for about 9 weeks(nothing compared to yours) but I would not even consider quitting. I am tired of hearing all of the stupid excuses women give for quiting bf just because it is hard at first. I havea friend with a new baby who doesn't Bf but she is honest about her reasons. I am just so glad to hear from someone strong enough and dedicated enough to overcome such difficulties for her child. You are an inspiration.


----------



## Celticqueen

Amanda said:


> What is it with EVERYONE asking, "so...is she sleeping through the night?" Like it's some kind of contest or something. I used to actually try and answer this question. My answer would go something like this, "well, we co-sleep and I bf, so when she's hungry I just kind of roll over. It's night, so I'm not sure how often it happens. Usually I fall asleep with her eatting...." You get the point.
> I got so tired of having to explain why what I'm doing is okay, and to some people that this was not a criminal act. So, now I've just started outright lying to the various strangers and friends of friend's that ask me this question, I just say "great!"
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Sometimes people look disappointed when I say this, like they wanted me to say "horrible!, she cries all night." People are so wierd...
> 
> AMEN! AMEN! AMEN!!! Ok, maybe I'm dramatizing but still. The same thing bothers me so much. I keep wanting to strangle the next person that asks me "So, is he sleeping through the night?" Sometimes I sersiously wonder if they're just trying to make conversation. Why is that question so dang common? Whoever invented that question has my eternal frustration. I too have to constantly CONSTANTLY EXPLAIN "Well, you see, I breastfeed him at night and he sleeps next to me" and they just give me this blank stare so I have to continue explaining why it's ok that he's not sleeping through the night. Sheesh people.


----------



## tallulahma

I get looks of absolute horror when I tell people that dd is not sleeping through the night!!!


----------



## Celticqueen

Amanda said:


> What is it with EVERYONE asking, "so...is she sleeping through the night?" Like it's some kind of contest or something. I used to actually try and answer this question. My answer would go something like this, "well, we co-sleep and I bf, so when she's hungry I just kind of roll over. It's night, so I'm not sure how often it happens. Usually I fall asleep with her eatting...." You get the point.
> I got so tired of having to explain why what I'm doing is okay, and to some people that this was not a criminal act. So, now I've just started outright lying to the various strangers and friends of friend's that ask me this question, I just say "great!"
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Sometimes people look disappointed when I say this, like they wanted me to say "horrible!, she cries all night." People are so wierd...
> 
> Oh, and I also wanted to say, someone asked me "Is he sleeping through the night?" when he was 1 week old!! For goodness' sake perhaps her baby was a perfect angel from the start but I think MOST moms out there can agree that their babies did not "sleep through the night" from the start. I hate ignorance. It just shows that they must have formula fed maybe? Because if they breastfed, they would know that the colostrum is in the beginning days and then the milk comes in so you need to breastfeed every few hours, even at night. Ignorance, ignorance IGNORANCE. (Have I been saying things 3 times in a row?)


----------



## Celticqueen

Quote:


Originally Posted by *inchijen* 
I get looks of absolute horror when I tell people that dd is not sleeping through the night!!!

*LAUGHS*. Me too. I'm so glad I found a community of people (MDC) that understands REAL motherhood


----------



## Megali

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sage72380* 
One of the employees was telling me how good DD was as she never cried (at the faintest hint of a fuss I started nursing her, but I doubt the employee noticed that). The employee then commented on how cool the sling was. Then she asked "Does she ride in that in the car" I told her of course not. So she followed up with "Then what _does_ she ride in?"







She rides in a car seat in the car.

I have to admit that I've wished you could drive around with baby in a carrier. Well, not seriously, obviously due to safety, but the thought did cross my mind!


----------



## prettypixels

Mommyofwills said:


> Quote:
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *Amanda*
> What is it with EVERYONE asking, "so...is she sleeping through the night?" Like it's some kind of contest or something. I used to actually try and answer this question. My answer would go something like this, "well, we co-sleep and I bf, so when she's hungry I just kind of roll over. It's night, so I'm not sure how often it happens. Usually I fall asleep with her eatting...." You get the point.
> I got so tired of having to explain why what I'm doing is okay, and to some people that this was not a criminal act. So, now I've just started outright lying to the various strangers and friends of friend's that ask me this question, I just say "great!"
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Sometimes people look disappointed when I say this, like they wanted me to say "horrible!, she cries all night." People are so wierd...
> 
> Oh, and I also wanted to say, someone asked me "Is he sleeping through the night?" when he was 1 week old!! For goodness' sake perhaps her baby was a perfect angel from the start but I think MOST moms out there can agree that their babies did not "sleep through the night" from the start. I hate ignorance. It just shows that they must have formula fed maybe? Because if they breastfed, they would know that the colostrum is in the beginning days and then the milk comes in so you need to breastfeed every few hours, even at night. Ignorance, ignorance IGNORANCE. (Have I been saying things 3 times in a row?)
> 
> Ummm... even formula fed babies need to eat every two hours. Their tummy is no bigger than a breastfed babies.
> 
> I have to supplement. My LC told me that formula is digested much slower and thus babies eat less frequently, but my baby did not do that. Even now she still eats like a fully breastfed baby in my mind, every few hours, even overnight. Thinking a 1 week old should sleep through the night (no matter what they are fed) is just crazy!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> :


----------



## prettypixels

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Megali* 
I have to admit that I've wished you could drive around with baby in a carrier. Well, not seriously, obviously due to safety, but the thought did cross my mind!

Me too. My baby HATES the carseat. (Or rather, she hates mama not holding her!)


----------



## vloky

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SwanMom* 
When I was growing up, we had this expandable playpen--totally unsafe, but back then everything was, right? Anyhow, my mom would put herself in the playpen with whatever she was doing and we kids would play outside of it.  I have a vivid memory of her working on the taxes. She could keep an eye on us, but we couldn't mess up the papers.

How cool!


----------



## JustKiya

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mommyofwills* 

Oh, and I also wanted to say, someone asked me "Is he sleeping through the night?" when he was 1 week old!! For goodness' sake perhaps her baby was a perfect angel from the start but I think MOST moms out there can agree that their babies did not "sleep through the night" from the start. I hate ignorance. It just shows that they must have formula fed maybe? Because if they breastfed, they would know that the colostrum is in the beginning days and then the milk comes in so you need to breastfeed every few hours, even at night. Ignorance, ignorance IGNORANCE. (Have I been saying things 3 times in a row?)

I've decided that the first time someone asks me that - I'm going to say - ""Would YOU sleep through the night if your stomach was the size of a marble? Well, neither does s/he!! ""

Sheesh people. Little bellies + fast metabolism = frequent feedings. Simple, obvious, DUH!


----------



## vloky

Quote:


Originally Posted by *In Exile* 
Yesterday I was at the evil Walmart carrying my 12 week old little guy on my arm. Inside buildings he hates the sling or wrap and always always hates the carseat anyway so of course I take him out and leave that thing in the car.

So i push the cart and carry baby- come a guy along with baby all strapped in the travelsystem and a blanket over the seat and gives me an evil stare and then proceeds to tell me it's dangerous and I NEED a carseat. WTF??
It's IN THE CAR which is why it is called carseat, gee, not every baby is actually content being wheeled around in the bucket, mine screams bloody murder most of the time.

I always get those stare from younger people when I actually have baby on my arm in the store, they must think I am too poor for a carseat and thus endangering my baby. I can tell by the stares that they think I some loser that can't afford the carseat- never seems to occur to them to leave the carseat in the car.

And why would you actually want to touch or look at your baby?


----------



## jenP

Quote:


Originally Posted by *In Exile* 
So i push the cart and carry baby- come a guy along with baby all strapped in the travelsystem and a blanket over the seat and gives me an evil stare and then proceeds to tell me it's dangerous and I NEED a carseat. WTF??
It's IN THE CAR which is why it is called carseat, gee, not every baby is actually content being wheeled around in the bucket, mine screams bloody murder most of the time.

Wait, I'm confused... did the guy think you really need to have the baby in a carseat _while_ you're in the store (like he could fall on the hard floor or something)?? Or did he think that since you were reduced to actually carrying your baby that you do not _own_ a carseat? Either way, sheesh!
Did you get a chance to set him straight?

Jen


----------



## Ubelle

The good old is she sleeping through the night question when my DD was less than 1 week old.

My MIL asked something along these lines to my DH who responded that DD is was mostly sleeping durring the day (that was her schedule in utero too) and that she was fussy at night so we were all a little tired. We are co-sleeping, but mil asked anyway - have you moved her out to her room yet?

DH replied no - like it was a dumb question

so then she asked if we had considered it yet.

DH replied no again - this time like it was the absolute dumbest question ever.


----------



## catnip

On the happy side of the equation, I recently saw a sign at a store (can't remember where... Raley's, maybe?) that said that it is not safe to put infant carseats in/on shopping carts.


----------



## MommyofPunkiePie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *catnip* 
On the happy side of the equation, I recently saw a sign at a store (can't remember where... Raley's, maybe?) that said that it is not safe to put infant carseats in/on shopping carts.

That's great!

Unfortunately, the car seat my DD had was specially *formulated* for use in shopping carts.









But I am proud to say that in the first four months of DD's life (when she actually fit in that bucket







) she never once was in a shopping cart. And not that she's 32 months, she has only been in a shopping cart once -- at the health food store when I forgot my Ergo. But, boy, did she love that!


----------



## Frisha

:


----------



## jellop

"Did you know letting your boy paint his fingernails/toenails is going to make him a homosexual when he grows up? How can you live with yourself knowing you're doing that to your child?!"







:

Umm . . . he wants to wear it, no biggie, he doesn't do it all the time, and he wears colors like green and blue when he does, he thinks it's fun, he's only 3 for crying out loud . . . heck, his dad wore tons of his sisters' clothes when he was young (_tons_ of pink lacy stuff), and I don't think anyone can make the claim that he's homosexual or has feminine tenancies.


----------



## paquerette

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyofPunkiePie* 
Unfortunately, the car seat my DD had was specially *formulated* for use in shopping carts.









Mine had that too, the little latch on the bottom that would grab the top of the cart. It's still not safe. The center of gravity is too high and if bumped the wrong way it could tip. I suppose if you filled the cart with canned goods and bags of dogfood it would counterbalance it efficiently, but otherwise nope.


----------



## sunnymw

before DH and I had a loooong talk about his family and my BWing.... if we went to family functions and I WORE ds in anything (wrap or mt) I was "hogging" the baby because others wanted to hold him... but then if I took him out and gave him to someone, I was "just pawning him off" on people! Mmmm hmmmm....

About the shopping cart bucket thing-- I did it once before discovering BWing... and it was hell... ugh!... and now, when I see moms with their babes in the cart like that (or even in strollers) and they are AWAY FROM THE CART/stroller, I'll pull the cart a few feet away, get their attention, and tell them to PLEASE KEEP A HAND ON THEIR KIDS. In a nice way, of course.It only takes one second to never see your kids again.

Anyway, we digress.

Worst advice recently? Well, DH and his grandmother (whom we are temp. living with) think small amounts of ANYthing are okay for the baby. "It's okay, it's just a tiny bit, just for a taste! It won't hurt him!"
This has officially led to my seven month or younger son eating: ice cream, smoothie, blizzard (and I couldn't have DAIRY for the first FIVE MONTHS), mashed potatoes in a box (made with... milk!), green beans heavily salted, squash made with sugar, DR PEPPER, COFFEE.... ugh....

Hello, people, there's a list of approved foods on the fridge. And none of those are on the list!!!! And why is it that when they feed him those foods, I'm left to deal with the allergic reactions and screaming? "Oh, he must have the colic again" or "Maybe he's just tired".... yeah.... he's so tired he has a ring of rash around his a**hole.

sorry... carry on!


----------



## Harmony96

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sunnymw* 
now, when I see moms with their babes in the cart like that (or even in strollers) and they are AWAY FROM THE CART/stroller, I'll pull the cart a few feet away, get their attention, and tell them to PLEASE KEEP A HAND ON THEIR KIDS. In a nice way, of course.It only takes one second to never see your kids again.

This following story is related to the walking away from your kids thing. I used to work at a grocery store, and one day when I was on my way to the back for my break, I spied a shopping cart w/ kids in it. The infant was in his bucket seat, in the bottom of the cart. His older sister (a petite little thing, couldn't have been more than 18-21 months or so) had been sitting in the top shelf of the cart. I don't know if she was buckled in or not, but when I spied them, she was WELL on her way to climbing out and over the handlebar. Her mom and dad were out of sight. I sprinted those last few steps and sort of half caught her / half broke her fall. She was happy to be out and started walking about. Then I spied her parents halfway down the side aisle and alerted them to the situation. I didn't stick around for a reaction, but I bet at least one of them was at arm's length for the rest of the trip.


----------



## Gumby

some gems from my own mother and sister...

dd was born may 9th, and they flew down to visit ten days later.

when i was commenting on how much she eats (good nurser!), my mom said, "you're going to have to put her on a schedule soon," to which i replied, "no i'm not!"

my sister was holding her and i could tell she was getting hungry so i went to take her explaining i was going to feed her and my sis said, "she's not crying yet." i think my glare said it all. i don't wait for that cue.

oh, and we were getting ready to go to the grocery store and i alluded to feeding dd at the store (do we see a pattern here?







) and my mom asked where i'd be feeding her. geez, the bathroom mom? i said walking around. in my sling of course. and i did.

and these women are both mothers...with different styles than me obviously. i've ALWAYS been the black sheep in my family. hb'er, co-sleeper, non-vax'er, bw'er, extended bf'er, potential homeschooler...

my baby puts me on her schedule, not vice versa. i waited for her to be born at 43.5 weeks (much to my family's worry) when she was ready. i feed her when she's ready. she sleeps when she wants. makes for a happy babe and happy mama









nak


----------



## MommyofPunkiePie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *paquerette* 
Mine had that too, the little latch on the bottom that would grab the top of the cart. It's still not safe. The center of gravity is too high and if bumped the wrong way it could tip. I suppose if you filled the cart with canned goods and bags of dogfood it would counterbalance it efficiently, but otherwise nope.

Thank goodness for slings!!!







:


----------



## sparkleshine

First they (the ILs) tell me that I have to let ds learn to self-soothe (CIO) and not hold him/wear him all the time.

Then they tell me that I shouldn't let him suck his thumb because he'll get teased when he starts school and he's still sucking his thumb (he's 4.5 months, I'm not really concerned). Instead I should start him on a pacifier so I can be in control of when he can suck and when he can't.

Umm, didn't you just tell me he had to learn to self-soothe







: At least make your unwanted advice consistent!


----------



## peaceful_mama

yeah, like last week, I had the kids at my friend's post-wedding dinner. (A big celebration for all, wedding was a few weeks ago.

Now this is a big multi-cultural thing, so there are many people there from all over the place. And two of the people happen to be from the same foreign place, where is not relevant to this discussion, neither is the fact that they were from another place other than the fact that it is relevant that they were speaking another language in this story.

So first, one of them tells me directly that since Sophia is 4 months old, she can and should have something other than breastmilk. As in bottles of formula 'so I can have a break' and food.

Then, the baby lunges herself at the food I have in my hand, so I allow her to basically lick a piece of cucumber. I admit, it was a distraction to allow me to finish my dinner and feed starving DS before nursing her, a whopping 2 to 3 minutes later. (did I mention we also did not eat until almost 10 PM? my friend wanted to have her celebration around 6PM, the majority of the community basically decided for her it was going to be at 8:30, the newly wed couple one other friend, and me and my kids sat from 5:30 waiting on the others.)

These women proceed to criticize me in their language, now because I *AM* giving her something!

What they did not know was the American sitting next to them understands their language, having lived in their country for a year.

So......since I was across the room and could not hear their commentary (I MIGHT have been able to tell they were talking crap about me, I understand a bit of it too) she decided to speak up on my behalf and informed them that this was considered RUDE in our culture, that American doctors say EBF is fine for at least 6 months, and basically that they should shut up, especially with continuing to talk about me in their language! (I found out about that bit later, otherwise I would've said something when the one woman apologized to me later, that was when she said she only said something because she was 'concerned that I never get a break.')

THEN they proceed to tell my friend her son got E Coli while in this other country because he's disabled, not because he was an infant and fed something that she'd instructed MIL not to feed him.









how was your weekend???


----------



## sapphire_chan

Hopefully, the next time your newly married friends have a party, they'll have the back bone to serve the guests who arrive on time shortly after the official start.

Can I recommend learning how to say, absolutely perfectly, in the other language "please only say nice things about me, otherwise you'll hurt my feelings"?


----------



## peaceful_mama

or how about "would you mind repeating that in English for the rest of the group?" or "I may not speak much, but I DO understand you"


----------



## eunytuny

To all you mamas that have put up with the silliness, sarcasm, cynisism and stupidity from others without becoming physically violent, I salute you. I am only halfway through reading this thread and I decided to post one and keep reading.
At a social gathering talking to an older mama (who loves to snatch ds out of my arms w/o asking). Four month old ds is fussing in my arms because he is sleepy.

Her: what's wrong with him?
Me: He's sleepy, he didn't have his nap yet.
Her: Making excuses for him already. (In a snotty tone)
Me: Well, what can I say, he needs a nap.
Her: It must be exhausting for him running your life for you.

I was totally shocked. What does that even mean? Making excuses for him already? I don't have to explain anything to her!
















Should I even be mad? It's true...the baby IS running my life and I love it. Never been happier.


----------



## ecoteat

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eunytuny* 
At a social gathering talking to an older mama (who loves to snatch ds out of my arms w/o asking). Four month old ds is fussing in my arms because he is sleepy.

Her: what's wrong with him?
Me: He's sleepy, he didn't have his nap yet.
Her: Making excuses for him already. (In a snotty tone)
Me: Well, what can I say, he needs a nap.
Her: It must be exhausting for him running your life for you.

I was totally shocked. What does that even mean? Making excuses for him already? I don't have to explain anything to her!
















Should I even be mad? It's true...the baby IS running my life and I love it. Never been happier.

I would have been steamed too--and I'm pretty even tempered! I would have had a really hard time even coming up with a response to something so ridiculous.


----------



## dillonandmarasmom

"They've got 2 choices for dinner...take it or leave it!"

"Let'em duke it out, they'll learn to be nicer to each other..."

"Don't pick her up/carry her so much, she'll never learn to be independent"


----------



## triscuitsmom

Said to me as my son is eating a cucumber...

"You won't give him real food but you'll give him that???"








:


----------



## mommy2two babes

Oh me, me me!







Boy have I had some doozies over the years. Sil said to DD in a sing song voice" Mommy is going to have really saggy boobs if you keep doing that" When DD was first born my grandma told me if I kept nursing her that much ( on demand) she would never take a soother for me







: I have lost count of the number of times I have been told that I will never get the kids out of my bed ( and I would want to why????) I have been asked why I would go in and get her when she wakes up because "she is not even crying yet"or "she is only talking" ( ya and I am listening and responding)
That I had to circ my DS because SIL's step dad had to have it done at the age of 50. That I should wean my DD 2 1/2 becasue my BM is making her overweight. That I had to wean when I was pregnant because DD was taking nutrients from the baby and/or I would misscarry /send myself into early labor.
DD potty trained herself completely and MIL would try to put her on the potty every half hour insted of waiting for her to say she had to go. ( Talk about confusing the poor kid) She regressed a bit after DS was born and stated wearing diapers again. So one day we were at IL's and she told me she had to pee. MIL said " I didn't know you were training her again" In other words that I shouldn't take her to the potty unless I was activly potty training her ( In the name of consistency I guess







:
Those are just a few off the top of my head. This is my kind of thread.


----------



## ILoveMySofie

me: my baby gets a bit frustrated in the evenings and cries

her: Oh just give her formula










WHAAAAAAAA?


----------



## girljen

Both my mom and my MIL told me that I should have a c-section. I wasn't planning on it, but had to have emergency surgery...my mom was worried, but my MIL was thrilled! She said c-sections are so much 'easier' than vaginal births.

Whatever.

Luckily, that's the silliest advice I've received so far. I'm not sure I'm socially adept enough to handle some of the doozies you ladies have had thrown your way!


----------



## MelissaEvans

My 15mo's top teeth are decaying, so I talked to a dentist. "Does he nurse at night or do you let him rest?" ?? It's not like I wake him up to eat. "We do both." Thankfully I he didn't push for weaning so I didn't have to fight/ignore him. At the visit, he gives me some flouride treatment. "More isn't better." No kidding! You handed me a bottle of poison to put on my baby's teeth when he won't keep his mouth open and doesn't understand not to eat it! The bottle's still sealed.


----------



## mamalisa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lisarussell* 
OK this wasn't actually said to me but it is so funny I have repeated it a few times just for kicks.

Woman #1 is pregnant with baby #5
Woman #2 is just plain stupid

#2- Oh, when is your baby due?
#1- In another 6 weeks
#2- How exciting, Is this your first one?
#1- no this will be our fifth
#2- Oh, so have you decided what you'll do if it's black?
#1- Um, no. It won't be black.
#2- Well, 1 out of every 5 babies born in the USA is black, so it could be.







:


200+ Pages and I think we have a winner!!


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eunytuny* 
To all you mamas that have put up with the silliness, sarcasm, cynisism and stupidity from others without becoming physically violent, I salute you. I am only halfway through reading this thread and I decided to post one and keep reading.
At a social gathering talking to an older mama (who loves to snatch ds out of my arms w/o asking). Four month old ds is fussing in my arms because he is sleepy.

Her: what's wrong with him?
Me: He's sleepy, he didn't have his nap yet.
Her: Making excuses for him already. (In a snotty tone)
Me: Well, what can I say, he needs a nap.
Her: It must be exhausting for him running your life for you.

I was totally shocked. What does that even mean? Making excuses for him already? I don't have to explain anything to her!
















Should I even be mad? It's true...the baby IS running my life and I love it. Never been happier.

Since you're likely to encounter similar comments from this woman, might I suggest "Yes, I love him very much." and "I know, isn't it wonderful?" said in the sappiest, sweetest, most utterly besotted with your baby/child tone you've got.

Also good, if she dares to say that caring for your child is in anyway a bad thing to do "What on earth makes you think that your opinion matters to me?"


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *triscuitsmom* 
Said to me as my son is eating a cucumber...

"You won't give him real food but you'll give him that???"








:









: I'm scared to ask, but my curiosity has gotten the better of me--what is real food?


----------



## Thursday Girl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *In Exile* 

I always get those stare from younger people when I actually have baby on my arm in the store, they must think I am too poor for a carseat and thus endangering my baby. I can tell by the stares that they think I some loser that can't afford the carseat- never seems to occur to them to leave the carseat in the car.

i always stare at moms who arent using it to try and figure out if they are cool or if they breastfeed or cloth diaper.

i get sad when i see babies in buckets all the time


----------



## dutchgal

I got this one from my mother the other day:

"I wonder if your breastmilk is nutritious enough."

I asked my mom why she would ask that, and the answer was "Well, she's breastfeeding a lot." Uhhh mom? She's 2 weeks old, for Pete's sake!!


----------



## Shenjall

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommy2two babes* 
........... So one day we were at IL's and she told me she had to pee. MIL said " *I didn't know you were training her again"* In other words that I shouldn't take her to the potty unless I was activly potty training her ( In the name of consistency I guess







:
Those are just a few off the top of my head. This is my kind of thread.

Bolding mine.......
And why do mils and mothers seem to think they need to know all this info? Is it any of their business? Drives me mad...


----------



## catnip

Early this week, we took an overnight camping trip to a hot springs retreat with 2.5 y-o dd. Children are allowed there, but are not permitted at the pools, restaurant, and other main facilities after dark. Families with children are asked to camp in the meadow camping area, about 1/4 mile from the main facilities. Kids aren't allowed in the meditation pools, but are allowed in the swimming pool and a bath-water temperature 95 degree warm pool.

We pulled up, picked a site for our tent, and started unloading gear. As we were setting up the tent, a woman came over and asked us if were were planning on camping there.
Us: Yes
Her: Oh great. I'm a nanny, and I came up here to get away from kids. And now you plop down with a kid right next to my tent.
Me: (trying to make light) Yeah, well, at least you don't have to be responsible for this one.
Her: Why would you bring a kid here? What would you do with her anyway?
Me: (getting pretty much done with this conversation) We're going to go swimming, and soak in the heart pool.

So that night, we're fininshing up dinner clean up in the guest kitchen, and chatting with another family with a little kid, and she just stares at us the whole time. I'm a little nervous about Kaia being fussy and scared at night and ddisrupting her sleep, but she went down easy and slept well. In the morning, she woke up at about 7, we went down to the bathroom, but she bumped her head on the way back to the tent, and cried. I tried to get her settled down as quickly as I could, but I was really self-concious about every soind she made. She was also a bit fussy when we put on her sunscreen, and upset when we took down the tent (by then about 8:30) I'm getting increasingly stressed about the amount of noise we are making, and DH says "If you are that stressed, we should just leave." I suggest that he take DD for a walk while I finish tear down, and then we'll talk more.

So then neighbor lady comes over and offers me a granola bar and tries to make nice with me.

Her: I heard you were leaving and I wanted to share these with you.
Me: Oh, no thanks, I'm allergic to walnuts.
Her: I hope I didn't make you feel like you had to go.
Me: Well, I will be honest with you and say that I've been extremely self concious about every sound dd makes, and I've felt unwelcome.
Her: Well, you know, it's good to be concious of the noise, since I'm sure I'm not the only one around who feels this way. But I wouldn't want to make you feel unwelcome.
Me: yeah. Ok (go away, now, please)
Her: I didn't mean to be rude. I was just shocked to see someone with kids here. It's just that there are a million places you can take kids, and I can't understand why you'd come here.
Me: uh huh (I am so done with this conversation. Go away now please)

Continue the chattering and monosylabic grunts for several minutes, and then she finally got the hint and left. The thing is that we weren't the only people there with little ones. Just the ones camped next to her. It pretty much ruined my weekend.


----------



## Doodadsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MelissaEvans* 
My 15mo's top teeth are decaying, so I talked to a dentist. "Does he nurse at night or do you let him rest?" ?? It's not like I wake him up to eat. "We do both." Thankfully I he didn't push for weaning so I didn't have to fight/ignore him. At the visit, he gives me some flouride treatment. "More isn't better." No kidding! You handed me a bottle of poison to put on my baby's teeth when he won't keep his mouth open and doesn't understand not to eat it! The bottle's still sealed.

Maybe you could use xylitol instead? I think it's supposed to have some of the same properties without being toxic.


----------



## bluetoes

OK here is a DOOZY told to the husband last week. An IT contractor he sometimes deals with has a baby a month older than ours. DH was discussing how wee man is getting his hand all over everything and our days of letting him play while running into the kitchen for something are over with. So the guys give the husband his cure for grabby hands. When baby grabs hold of something (spoon, necklace, mini blinds, whatever) give them a quick finger flick. This way they'll associate grabbing things with a sting and stop doing it. SERIOUSLY! I hope this guy is saving money for therapy for this poor child! The husband who usually is quite chatty and laid back and has a live and let live attitude said he was shocked into silence. Why doesn't the guy just get a shock collar for his kid!







:


----------



## AnnieMarie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *catnip* 
Early this week, we took an overnight camping trip to a hot springs retreat with 2.5 y-o dd. Children are allowed there, but are not permitted at the pools, restaurant, and other main facilities after dark. Families with children are asked to camp in the meadow camping area, about 1/4 mile from the main facilities. Kids aren't allowed in the meditation pools, but are allowed in the swimming pool and a bath-water temperature 95 degree warm pool.

We pulled up, picked a site for our tent, and started unloading gear. As we were setting up the tent, a woman came over and asked us if were were planning on camping there.
Us: Yes
Her: Oh great. I'm a nanny, and I came up here to get away from kids. And now you plop down with a kid right next to my tent.
Me: (trying to make light) Yeah, well, at least you don't have to be responsible for this one.
Her: Why would you bring a kid here? What would you do with her anyway?
Me: (getting pretty much done with this conversation) We're going to go swimming, and soak in the heart pool.

So that night, we're fininshing up dinner clean up in the guest kitchen, and chatting with another family with a little kid, and she just stares at us the whole time. I'm a little nervous about Kaia being fussy and scared at night and ddisrupting her sleep, but she went down easy and slept well. In the morning, she woke up at about 7, we went down to the bathroom, but she bumped her head on the way back to the tent, and cried. I tried to get her settled down as quickly as I could, but I was really self-concious about every soind she made. She was also a bit fussy when we put on her sunscreen, and upset when we took down the tent (by then about 8:30) I'm getting increasingly stressed about the amount of noise we are making, and DH says "If you are that stressed, we should just leave." I suggest that he take DD for a walk while I finish tear down, and then we'll talk more.

So then neighbor lady comes over and offers me a granola bar and tries to make nice with me.

Her: I heard you were leaving and I wanted to share these with you.
Me: Oh, no thanks, I'm allergic to walnuts.
Her: I hope I didn't make you feel like you had to go.
Me: Well, I will be honest with you and say that I've been extremely self concious about every sound dd makes, and I've felt unwelcome.
Her: Well, you know, it's good to be concious of the noise, since I'm sure I'm not the only one around who feels this way. But I wouldn't want to make you feel unwelcome.
Me: yeah. Ok (go away, now, please)
Her: I didn't mean to be rude. I was just shocked to see someone with kids here. It's just that there are a million places you can take kids, and I can't understand why you'd come here.
Me: uh huh (I am so done with this conversation. Go away now please)

Continue the chattering and monosylabic grunts for several minutes, and then she finally got the hint and left. The thing is that we weren't the only people there with little ones. Just the ones camped next to her. It pretty much ruined my weekend.

UGH that is just awful, and she is a nanny!? I feel sorry for the kids she looks after







: Stupid cowbag, awful that one such person ruined your weekend, I would stressed too!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jewelysmommy* 
i always stare at moms who arent using it to try and figure out if they are cool or if they breastfeed or cloth diaper.

i get sad when i see babies in buckets all the time

I do that too!!! Here moms that wear their babies are very few and I am fascinated when I see one, my son is invariably in arms / sling too


----------



## CorasMama

I am babysitting for a mom whose baby is having *serious* nipple confusion. So I'm finger feeding her w/ a sort of SNS. We just started this today, so the results aren't in yet.

I talked to my dad tonight, and told him about it. He said he thought it was creepy.

How do you think he'd react if I told him that, if I could, I would totally either wet nurse or donate milk or use the sns the "right" way! Hahahahahaha!!! He'd lose his mind! (I didn't offer to do the 3rd thing, because I still leak a little, like in the shower sometimes, and I'm on medications)


----------



## MommyofPunkiePie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AnnieMarie* 
Here moms that wear their babies are very few and I am fascinated when I see one, my son is invariably in arms / sling too


I have never seen a baby in a sling/carrier where I live. Not once.

And the funny thing about the first time DD made her *debut* in her sling (Fourth of July parade, 2005), I was asked SEVERAL times if she was my baby!







Um, no, she's not mine. I just find random babies on the streets and carry them around.







:


----------



## onyxravnos

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bremen* 
c must have some from the shallow end of the gene pool











Quote:


Originally Posted by *bremen* 
* are they natural? (is there such thing as unnatural children? i know they meant fertility treatment, but come on!)


i'm bad about asking this one.







don't be too hard on us... i don't know about other people but i only ask beacuse i would love to have twins and want to know how you got them.


----------



## MelissaEvans

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Doodadsmom* 
Maybe you could use xylitol instead? I think it's supposed to have some of the same properties without being toxic.









Thank you. I've started doing some reasearch on helping teeth heal and made sure that's in the toothpaste. How is the rest of our bodies can heal, but not our teeth? It just doesn't make sense to me. When I mentioned this to the DDS he said he didn't know but it kept him busy... then a pause... wondering about that at night. Yeah, and busy in the office making money too! I have a lot more homework to do as obviously the DDS isn't going to be of any help in that reguard! =)


----------



## tolovemercy

My MIL is pretty anti-attachment parenting generally speaking, and has said/ done some pretty ridiculous things over the course of DS's 6 1/2 months of life. (i.e. "Oh, he's almost six months. You'll have to start spanking him soon!" and giving him pink lemonade to drink when he was 5 mo.) My brother and sister in law both use a very harsh, scheduled/ CIO-type of parenting, and I think MIL always assumed we'd do the same thing. I've never sat her down and lectured her about how we're doing things differently, because I never thought it was worth the tension it'd cause, and really in her softer moments, she's not an awful person and is really well-intentioned.
Anyhoo, last weekend we were over visiting and I was getting ready to nurse DS and said something like, "Boy, he could really use a nap." MIL nodded and asked, "Do you ever rock him to sleep?" I was bracing myself for her to say something awful...and replied, "Actually, I usually nurse him to sleep. That's something I really enjoy doing." She was quiet for a minute and then said, "I'm so glad you do that. They grow up so quickly. I wish I'd done that."
I felt sooo vindicated. It's so nice to hear someone on the other end of the spectrum say something GOOD about AP.


----------



## pjlioness

Quote:


Originally Posted by *veganjoy* 
DH and I went to our first prenatal appointment, where we filled out a questionnaire about our medical histories. It included a section for marking your ethnicity, which helps determine risk factors for particular genetic anomalies. We're a multiracial family, so there were lots of boxes for us to check.

The midwife looked it over, and I asked if we were considered higher-risk since we were included in so many categories.

"No," she answered, "That's the nice thing about mongrels. They water down the gene pool and lower your risk for problems."

Really, we're _mongrels_?

OUCH!

Maybe she didn't mean it in a negative way, but still! I think you may want to sit down with her and explain to her that you found that offensive (and why), then decide if you're staying with her after her reaction.


----------



## linguistmama

DD loves to take her shoes on and put them on over and over again. Today at church she put them on the wrong feet. An older lady with no children told me to swith them right away because its painful. I told her that dd put them on that way herself and she seemed perfectly comfortable. The lady lectured some more about pliable bones and then we left. As if dd was actually going to leave them on in any position for more than 10 minutes!


----------



## AGlimmeringHope

I read through the first 30 pages of this thread (gotta love pregnancy insomnia!) and WOW!!! Here are some of my own:

My OB with dd told me that I would HAVE to have an epi because of a heart condition I'd had as an infant...he'd done studies on the effect of this condition in labor and my baby and I would both die without the life saving epi. I went home, got online and read his study word for word. The women in the study had daily problems with their heartrates going in the 200+ range while being medicated. I'd had one episode of high heartrate while dehydrated and under a lot of stress (the ER doc even said this was what caused it, not the underlying heart condition) and was not medicated for most of the 2 years prior to getting pregnant and most of my pregnancy.

The nurse that discharged us told me that I had to give jaundiced dd formula because it was better for jaundiced babies than bm- cleaned their systems out! (Ummm...more like dirties it up, don'tcha think?!?! And she claimed to be an LC @@)

Not a stupid comment, but cute: an older man came up to us soon after we started using our ring sling in the grocery store and said "well darlin' those kangaroos don't have anything on the two of you, do they? she must love getting to be so close to her mama like that!"

Then a former co-worker of mine and DH's worked at Old Navy and I was there buying clothes. I was good friends with her, but after she lied to my mother (about my sex life no less!) and tried to convince me DH was cheating on me, I can't stand her anymore. She saw dd in the sling (and was pregnant herself):
her: "is that really safe?"
me: "it's perfectly safe, she's well supported"
her: "that baby could fall out of there too easily, i wouldn't risk my child by using one of those...things"
me: "well, they ARE only safe if you're not too stupid to read simple instruction and have the common sense of a first grader. so, no, you probably shouldn't use one."

My grandmother when my dd was 3 days old slapped my hand away from her (she was holding dd in her lap) and told me "don't you touch that baby"...the woman had emotionally abused me as a child and left my self-esteem seriously messed up for a long time. I got some of that back that day when I slapped her hand back, grabbed dd and told her it was my baby and I had more right than her to touch her whenever I dang well pleased!

Medicaid put us on a new peds list when for dd's 18 month wbv. I took her to him and he asked why we didn't vax. I said that we did our research and decided against it at this point. He didn't like that that's all I would offer and said I was being foolish because I was relying on everyone else to be vaxed and save my kids life for me. I told him if they worked as well as he apparently thought that theory would work, but no I didn't rely on herd immunity at all! His eyes almost bulged out of his head when I said "herd immunity". I don't think he understood the big words.

Oh, in the hospital another L/D nurse saw me lay dd in the middle of the hospital bed and walk literally two feet away to grab her bootie and told me not to do that! I looked at her oddly (and DH must have too) because she looked at both of us and said plain as day "what if she crawls or rolls off of the bed?" Ummm, if my 2 day old child is crawling or rolling can we call the media because I sure would like the cash that would come with that video footage!


----------



## Momtwice

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tolovemercy* 
I was getting ready to nurse DS and said something like, "Boy, he could really use a nap." MIL nodded and asked, "Do you ever rock him to sleep?" I was bracing myself for her to say something awful...and replied, "Actually, I usually nurse him to sleep. That's something I really enjoy doing." She was quiet for a minute and then said, "I'm so glad you do that. They grow up so quickly. I wish I'd done that."
I felt sooo vindicated. It's so nice to hear someone on the other end of the spectrum say something GOOD about AP.


----------



## CorasMama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AGlimmeringHope* 
Oh, in the hospital another L/D nurse saw me lay dd in the middle of the hospital bed and walk literally two feet away to grab her bootie and told me not to do that! I looked at her oddly (and DH must have too) because she looked at both of us and said plain as day "what if she crawls or rolls off of the bed?" Ummm, if my 2 day old child is crawling or rolling can we call the media because I sure would like the cash that would come with that video footage!

Well, she actually had a point (not about the crawling, but the rolling over.) My 34 week preemie spontaneously rolled over 7 days after she was born. It wasn't on purpose, but she rolled over nonetheless! And babies can scoot downwards when they arch their backs, too!

A lot of moms carry their babies around in those car seat carriers. I know most of us here find that ridiculous from an attachment POV, but I have another reason, too. Outside of the car, when just using it as a carrier, most parents don't buckle them in. Well, my bff brought her brand new baby over to my house, had her in the carrier, and she arched her back and wriggled in a weird way, and slid right outof that thing! Luckily, the carrier was on the floor at the time, so she didn't even wake up!

Granted, both these things are rare occurences, but they are not unheard of!


----------



## RadiantMama

"Early this week, we took an overnight camping trip to a hot springs retreat with 2.5
y-o dd. Children are allowed there, but are not permitted at the pools, restaurant,
and other main facilities after dark. Families with children are asked to camp in
the meadow camping area, about 1/4 mile from the main facilities. Kids aren't
allowed in the meditation pools, but are allowed in the swimming pool and a
bath-water temperature 95 degree warm pool."

ANYTIME someone gives me guff, I just play dumb and say something like "Isn't the rule that..." or "What is the policy of this place?" Maybe they don't know. I'm so sorry you had to put up with that. Some people are so stiff and narrow-minded. One time I went to the Inner CIty Hot tubs here in Portland for a break from my 2 year old, and there was one in the tub. Whew. I just took it in stride and enjoyed the feeling of the tub!


----------



## MelissaEvans

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AGlimmeringHope* 
Then a former co-worker of mine and DH's worked at Old Navy and I was there buying clothes. I was good friends with her, but after she lied to my mother (about my sex life no less!) and tried to convince me DH was cheating on me, I can't stand her anymore. She saw dd in the sling (and was pregnant herself):
her: "is that really safe?"
me: "it's perfectly safe, she's well supported"
her: "that baby could fall out of there too easily, i wouldn't risk my child by using one of those...things"
me: "well, they ARE only safe if you're not too stupid to read simple instruction and have the common sense of a first grader. so, no, you probably shouldn't use one."


----------



## NewMama2007

MIL-isms

While nursing (and she can't actually look at me when I'm nursing, even though I use a blanket with IL's because they get all freaked out, because breasts doing what God intended for them to do are apparently yucky) - "how long are you planning to do _that_ (punctuated with a hand flap in my direction) for?" I told her "I don't know 15 or 20 minutes...until she's done, really".

Every time we see her "When do I get to take her? I know you're still doing _that_ (punctuated with a hand flap in my direction), but when can she stay the night?" When pigs can fly and poop out blue jello, that's when.

"You know, she'll have to get a bottle eventually" when trying to get me to let her feed DD. My response - "not when I'm around and not formula". She was shocked you could give anything other than formula in a bottle









Did I mention my MIL is a nurse? She actually told me that her sister didn't even try to nurse because she is small-chested and knew she wouldn't be able to make enough milk. Yikes.

"It's just sad - all my other grandmother friends get to feed their grandbabies". Sorry, that's not a reason to not nurse my baby. Get over it and find another way to bond with your grandchild.

And finally one from my own mother (who breastfed us) - "You should give her formula just to make sure she will take it in case something happens to you." Thanks mom, not morbid at all.


----------



## boingo82

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NewMama2007* 
..
And finally one from my own mother (who breastfed us) - "You should give her formula just to make sure she will take it in case something happens to you." Thanks mom, not morbid at all.

That's like my mom. When I'd call her, 28 weeks pregnant, she'd say, "Oh, you know that means if you went into premature labor today your baby would at least have a 50% chance of living. With severe problems probably, but living."
Everything with her is morbid, everything.


----------



## ramlita

Oh, man.









I'm sure that sounded encouraging in her head...















Maybe it was a window into her own fears and concerns for you, watching her daughter go through what can potentially be dangerous and heartbreaking- but yeah, is _usually_ beautiful and wonderful









OT:
love your privilege lists!
Our UU church is going through a Welcoming Congregation series, and the Straight/Cisgendered ones will be nice teaching tools for our workshops








(and I'll slip in the others, to add perspective







)


----------



## GradysMom

"haven't you taught that baby no yet" at 9 mo

still says it and now

"put it back baby, you better teach him to put it back.." at 11 mo









makes me crazy


----------



## TirzhaZ

I just spent way too much time reading this thread from work! The dumbest thing I've ever heard was from my SIL when she realized I was BF DD: "No way, my boobs are for boys." And then the wholetime I was pregnant whenever I told anyone about my plans to have a natural, unmedicated birth I always got "Are you crazy?" or "You'll never make it." Gee, thanks for the encouragement, guys!

Oh, and my aunt is insistent on making me fail at everything I want to do. I told I was planning to cloth diaper: "Yeah, that's what you think now. It'll never last." You suck as an aunt. Really. You totally do. Here is another of our conversations:

Aunt: How long are you planning on BF'ing?
Me: Until DD wants to stop or at least 2 years. We'll see how it pans out.
Aunt: She'll have teeth soon. So, you'll be stopping soon.
Me: I don't plan on wenaing just because Anna gets a tooth.
Aunt: You won't last. It'll hurt once she has teeth.
Me: I guess I'll have to deal with it.
Aunt: Well, I weaned Cody after 5 months because he had his first tooth and it was just too painful. So, you'll probably wean too.

Okay, um, no. This is the same aunt that wonders why she is still so fat and can't lose weight but brings a snickers bar and a large Mountain Dew with her to work. EVERY MORNING. I think I'll stick to my own advice, thank you. Okay, I know her being fat has nothing to do with the BF'ing conversation, I just wanted to pain a picture of how her brain works.


----------



## bigeyes

'you shouldn't even be telling people you're pregnant! You don't even know if _it's going to survive._ You could miscarry.'







WTF?

'I don't know why you're so tired. Just sleep when the baby sleeps' To this day my son sleeps roughly 6 hours a night. He has _never_ taken a nap in his life, not even as an infant.

'If you keep picking him up, you're going to spoil him. Just let him cry and eventually he'll go to sleep.' _Not even._ See above.

'If you move him to San Francisco you're going to get him killed!'







: Seriously, my mother said this to me when I moved from rural Kansas. Thank god I didn't listen to her.


----------



## Thursday Girl

said to dd#2 who is 17 months old.

she is playing with tools while our friend fixes the AC (and he isn't the smartest guy in the world, although nice and of about average intelligance, maybe just below)

"Oh you don't want to play with tools, your so pretty. You should use your looks."

WTF???????

I told her
"your smart baby, use that"


----------



## MelissaEvans

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bigeyes* 
'you shouldn't even be telling people you're pregnant! You don't even know if _it's going to survive._ You could miscarry.'







WTF?

I'm a Bradley teacher; one of my couples had a dad who told them "not to count their chickens until their hatched" and wouldn't acknowledge the pregnancy - even in the late 3rd trimester. I guess the baby didn't exist until he was born.


----------



## glendora

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bigeyes* 
'If you move him to San Francisco you're going to get him killed!'







: Seriously, my mother said this to me when I moved from rural Kansas. Thank god I didn't listen to her.

LOL.

My grandmother said the same thing when we moved to the Bay Area--basically that the earth would swallow us whole, because _her_ grandmother was here during the 06 quake, and lost a suitcase.








:


----------



## bigeyes

Quote:


Originally Posted by *glendora* 
LOL.

My grandmother said the same thing when we moved to the Bay Area--basically that the earth would swallow us whole, because _her_ grandmother was here during the 06 quake, and lost a suitcase.








:

I kinda think my mom is just a little nuts.

And it is not lost on me that, although I have lived in KS, MO, OK, TX, FL CA, and now HI, this year is the first time she has ever talked about coming to visit. Cuz it's _Hawaii._

My parents even flew to FL to go on a cruise when I lived there, but did not stop by Orlando, where I lived. Yet I always hear how I _never visit._ Not that I want to see them much, but the hypocrisy kills me.


----------



## bigeyes

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MelissaEvans* 
I'm a Bradley teacher; one of my couples had a dad who told them "not to count their chickens until their hatched" and wouldn't acknowledge the pregnancy - even in the late 3rd trimester. I guess the baby didn't exist until he was born.

Weird. And don't effing call my baby 'it.' I think that part pissed me off even more than the lack of sensitivity about miscarriages.


----------



## OllieMama

I got this last weekend from my SIL's MIL, at a birthday party...

MIL: So you've gone back to work?
Me: Well, just a couple of nights a week for a few hours.
MIL: Who do you get to watch the baby?
Me: James watches him. He's off work at 3 every day.
MIL:







<pause> Oh! Well that's good!

She had this look like that was the most unheard of thing in the world, that the FATHER of the baby might be able to take care of him while his mom is gone for 4 hours.







She was perfectly nice about it, but wow! Did she really expect me to pay some stranger to babysit when his dad is perfectly capable of keeping him alive and happy? Heh, dh changed more diapers than I did while we were both on FMLA. <sigh> I've only met her a few times but I swear that woman fell out of another decade...


----------



## boingo82

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ramlita* 
Oh, man.









I'm sure that sounded encouraging in her head...















Maybe it was a window into her own fears and concerns for you, watching her daughter go through what can potentially be dangerous and heartbreaking- but yeah, is _usually_ beautiful and wonderful









OT:
love your privilege lists!
Our UU church is going through a Welcoming Congregation series, and the Straight/Cisgendered ones will be nice teaching tools for our workshops








(and I'll slip in the others, to add perspective







)

Yes...that is about as encouraging as she gets. It doesn't bother me much any more because that's just the way she is.

Glad you like the links...there's a UU congregation here and I'm tempted to go.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bigeyes* 
Weird. And don't effing call my baby 'it.' I think that part pissed me off even more than the lack of sensitivity about miscarriages.

On the other hand, it is incredibly annoying that so many people are so sensitive about the gender neutral pronoun. "It" is the word for a person whose gender is not known for any reason. People aren't actually referring to your baby as a thing.

That said, I do avoid using "it" about other people's children. My own children will be "it" until they're born unless I get a very strong feeling towards one gender.


----------



## ramlita

Quote:


Originally Posted by *boingo82* 
Glad you like the links...there's a UU congregation here and I'm tempted to go.

Check them out! Where are you?
UU groups can vary a fair amount based on the interests and ideas of the individuals there, and many have websites to help visitors get the feel of things.
PM me if you'd like a few nice links with info. We're a very welcoming group, even without the trainings we've been doing to enhance sensitivity to LGBT issues.









Now this is funny, an atheist promoting her church...









Carry on! Ignore me!!


----------



## bigeyes

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
On the other hand, it is incredibly annoying that so many people are so sensitive about the gender neutral pronoun. "It" is the word for a person whose gender is not known for any reason. People aren't actually referring to your baby as a thing.

That said, I do avoid using "it" about other people's children. My own children will be "it" until they're born unless I get a very strong feeling towards one gender.

I see your point, but this particular person was so hateful and obviously pissed about my pregnancy that it was just one more thing I didn't like about him. He was my boss who drove me out of my job for being pregnant. Anybody else would not have bothered me at all by saying 'when is it due,' for example.


----------



## bigeyes

Quote:


Originally Posted by *OllieMama* 

She had this look like that was the most unheard of thing in the world, that the FATHER of the baby might be able to take care of him while his mom is gone for 4 hours.







She was perfectly nice about it, but wow! Did she really expect me to pay some stranger to babysit when his dad is perfectly capable of keeping him alive and happy? Heh, dh changed more diapers than I did while we were both on FMLA. <sigh> I've only met her a few times but I swear that woman fell out of another decade...

Is she one of those people who refer to a father watching his own children as _babysitting?_
That really burns me. It's _parenting_ when they're your own children, isn't it?


----------



## OllieMama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bigeyes* 
It's _parenting_ when they're your own children, isn't it?

That's certainly what I always thought! Apparently she never considered that. She's a bit of an odd bird anyway.... Oh well, I'm just glad she's not MY mil. I do feel bad for my sil. I'm sure she'd have plenty to contribute to this thread, though she's quite mainstream herself, so who knows.


----------



## awallrising

While I was still in the hospital for an emergency C-section, I answered my Aunt's cell phone & it was my SIL. I happened to be 17 days overdue which my SIL thought was terrible & kept telling my Aunt so (this is from the woman who had 2 planned C-sections to avoid the pain of childbirth, who also smoked while PG & never tried BFing). When I told her briefly about what happended, she says something like "I didn't want to say anything, but I knew you'd need a C-section". What's with the "I didn't want to say anything"? Like, why do you need to be right? And who the hell are you to give any advice on such issues when you made all the wrong choices in my book? Do you care that my baby could have died?

Then my Bro gets on the phone. After I tell him about my emergency C-section, he says "so you finally saw a real Dr" (I see a group of MWs who practice with a Dr). No "Congratulations" or "I'm so glad you're both ok". What an F'in a**hole, I am so mad at him. He's typically a total clod, but this takes the cake. Like, that's all you can come up with when your nephew's life was in danger & your sister has major emergency surgery???

If I didn't happen to answer the phone, I would have never heard from my Bro or SIL & heaven forbid they'd make the effort to drive 45 mins to see us once we got home.

They are complete jerks & I would have thing to do with them if it weren't for my niece & nephew. I am so pissed. They are going to get an earful from me when I see them next.


----------



## Shenjall

Amy, Congratulations on the birth of your son!!! I'm glad you are both okay.


----------



## cinnamonamon

s Amy; unexpected c/s are so hard -- and it's a slap in the face everytime someone casually dismisses it...


----------



## scrabblelover

Okay, I've almost made it through this entire thread and finally i will post!

Dd was 4 days old and i was talking to a friends wife on the phone.
she said, "have you talked to your doctor about what dd should eat?"
me thinking" ummmm...breast milk"
my friend had a baby that was 11 pds and her breastmilk was not enough and her doctor got her to start her dd on cereal at 2 weeks !!!!!!!!!!! so it would get enough nutrition!!!! you better make sure and ask your doctor since your dd is 9 pounds and there is no way your breastmilk could be enough."

oh my god!!!! what an idiot!

dd is now almost 10 months old and still 99% EBF. that 1% being the tiny amount of steamed squash or something she might feed herself on occasion.


----------



## Lady Lilya

Quote:


Originally Posted by *awallrising* 
While I was still in the hospital for an emergency C-section, I answered my Aunt's cell phone & it was my SIL. I happened to be 17 days overdue which my SIL thought was terrible & kept telling my Aunt so (this is from the woman who had 2 planned C-sections to avoid the pain of childbirth, who also smoked while PG & never tried BFing). When I told her briefly about what happended, she says something like "I didn't want to say anything, but I knew you'd need a C-section". What's with the "I didn't want to say anything"? Like, why do you need to be right? And who the hell are you to give any advice on such issues when you made all the wrong choices in my book? Do you care that my baby could have died?

Then my Bro gets on the phone. After I tell him about my emergency C-section, he says "so you finally saw a real Dr" (I see a group of MWs who practice with a Dr). No "Congratulations" or "I'm so glad you're both ok". What an F'in a**hole, I am so mad at him. He's typically a total clod, but this takes the cake. *Like, that's all you can come up with when your nephew's life was in danger & your sister has major emergency surgery???*

If I didn't happen to answer the phone, I would have never heard from my Bro or SIL & heaven forbid they'd make the effort to drive 45 mins to see us once we got home.

They are complete jerks & I would have thing to do with them if it weren't for my niece & nephew. I am so pissed. They are going to get an earful from me when I see them next.

Yeah, but to them it isn't major surgery, it is routine like brushing your teeth. And of course the baby wasn't in danger, because nothing bad can happen when you are in the care of a "real doctor."

<sigh>


----------



## Meg Murry.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~gilli~* 
The nurse at my school told me I could not eat spicy food, because my baby could die. I asked her what people in India did, and she huffed and walked away, lol.

YES!!! I was wondering that too!!!
I was a gestational carrier for two friends of mine who are THE. BEST. PEOPLE in the world, and (naturally) they were super-anxious about making sure everything for their sweet little guy was right. Anyway, he was a preemie, so I pumped BM for him for the first few months so he would get the best possible start, but that said, it was very difficult to avoid spicy foods. Not only do I live in a place with a great deal of Mexican cuisine, but we have a lot of Indian and Ethiopian as well, and I'm a major fan. I didn't want to cause Little Guy any intestinal distress (and I didn't want my friends to worry), so I basically abstained. With my dd, I didn't care--I just ate whatever I wanted to when I was breastfeeding and she was fine; I never noticed her suffering any ill effects from anything I ate. Still, I was wondering exactly that: what do women from India do? Eat nothing but roti and rice until the baby's a year old?


----------



## Lady Lilya

I read that what you eat flavors the amniotic fluid, and from a certain point in the pregnancy, the baby can detect that and get used to your diet.


----------



## painefaria

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PumpkinSeeds* 
My MIL said that by nursing my ds I was going to turn him into a homosexual.

huh?


----------



## St. Margaret

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lady Lilya* 
I read that what you eat flavors the amniotic fluid, and from a certain point in the pregnancy, the baby can detect that and get used to your diet.

Right, babies get used to it in utero, thru BM, and then that's why 4 year olds in India can eat spicy curry! (maybe not like adults whose taste buds have been burned off by yrs of spicy foods like my FIL-- that man can eat a whole hot chile on his tongue I swear!







) I'm trying to be adventurous so dd isn't picky


----------



## Ginger6366

I've been pretty lucky as far as family being open to my (our) parenting choices. My one bad experience happened when DS was ONE DAY OLD. The charge nurse came into my room while I was breastfeeding. She ordered me to "put that baby down, your holding him too much, you need to eat your lunch". I explained I would hold/feed my child whenever I wanted, and that i would not be eating my lunch. Upon admission I told the staff I am vegetarian (IE no flesh), yet there was a chicken breast cut up in my salad. This nurse kept tellling me "your not vegetarian, your vegan. Vegetarians don't eat beef."


----------



## triscuitsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ginger6366* 
I've been pretty lucky as far as family being open to my (our) parenting choices. My one bad experience happened when DS was ONE DAY OLD. The charge nurse came into my room while I was breastfeeding. She ordered me to "put that baby down, your holding him too much, you need to eat your lunch". I explained I would hold/feed my child whenever I wanted, and that i would not be eating my lunch. Upon admission I told the staff I am vegetarian (IE no flesh), yet there was a chicken breast cut up in my salad. This nurse kept tellling me "your not vegetarian, your vegan. Vegetarians don't eat beef."

I got this at my hospital when I was admitted for my asthma attacks during my third trimester... I kept getting non-vegetarian dishes because after all chicken and fish aren't "really" meat...








:


----------



## umami_mommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *triscuitsmom* 
I got this at my hospital when I was admitted for my asthma attacks during my third trimester... I kept getting non-vegetarian dishes because after all chicken and fish aren't "really" meat...








:

eh? did you tell them that meat is a polite way of saying "animal flesh?"

a friend's doc told her that pasta wasn't made from wheat... but flour.









my mom told the hospital she was lactose intolerent and kept getting big glasses of milk on her tray. she demanded to see the dietition and then said "did you think i was talking about my sexual orientation, you idiot?" don't mess with my 77 yo mom!







:


----------



## 2 in August

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bigeyes* 
Is she one of those people who refer to a father watching his own children as _babysitting?_
That really burns me. It's _parenting_ when they're your own children, isn't it?

My fil asked if I brought my baby to church with me or if dh stayed home and babysat him. First off, fil has issues with me taking the kids to church because he's Catholic and I'm protestant and he's quite sure the kids aren't going to learn the "real" meaning of things. Second of all, if dh takes care of the kids, he's being daddy. A babysitter is a paid person (to me). I don't even say that my mom babysits my dd. My mom takes her granddaughter for a playday or so that I can have some momma time. But she is grandma, not a babysitter. Third, dh works almost every Sunday so even if I wanted to go to church alone (which I don't want) I couldn't because dh isn't home to watch the kids.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ginger6366* 
This nurse kept tellling me "your not vegetarian, your vegan. Vegetarians don't eat beef."

That happens to be one of my particular pet peeves, so I won't go into it, but suffice it to say I would have had that nurse in tears.


----------



## sothisislove

hilarious


----------



## sothisislove

I don't understand why strangers have to take such personal offense from the way you raise your child. My family hasn't asked too many questions, but i almost want them to so I can use some of these awesome come backs!!


----------



## heathenmom

Argh!!! I have a new one, from my mom yesterday. Mom's pretty cool about most of my crunchiness, but it drives most of my family completely bonkers that we cosleep. Why they care, I do not know.

Me: Heidi (my 3 m/o) slept through the night 2 nights in a row, and I ended up with a plugged duct (now mastitis, I think







: ).
Mom: I'd put her in a bed ... so you can get some sleep!
Me:







:

Clearly, I'm getting sleep .... MY 3 M/O IS SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT!! I'm gone from her 10 hrs./day and have a terrible time pumping. It would make me perfectly happy if she nursed all night long. Mom's solution to my nighttime engorgement is to put the baby in a crib across the hall, let her sleep through the night, and for me to get up and pump.







:


----------



## LaurenB

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ginger6366* 
I've been pretty lucky as far as family being open to my (our) parenting choices. My one bad experience happened when DS was ONE DAY OLD. The charge nurse came into my room while I was breastfeeding. She ordered me to "put that baby down, your holding him too much, you need to eat your lunch". I explained I would hold/feed my child whenever I wanted, and that i would not be eating my lunch. Upon admission I told the staff I am vegetarian (IE no flesh), yet there was a chicken breast cut up in my salad. This nurse kept tellling me "your not vegetarian, your vegan. Vegetarians don't eat beef."






































Please tell me you set this woman straight.


----------



## jenP

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Meg Murry.* 
Still, I was wondering exactly that: what do women from India do? Eat nothing but roti and rice until the baby's a year old?

Actually, there are many good but not spicy dishes in India. I have a friend who drives me crazy sometimes (love her to death but you know); people will say something like, "I can't eat anything spicy these days, it upsets my nursing baby's tummy" and she'll say, "they have babies in India!!!!" (she also says "vagina" when she means "vulva" ALL THE TIME; love your siggy Ramlita!)

I expect women in India do what women everywhere probably do: if spicy food doesn't give you heartburn when you're pregnant, doesn't bother baby when he's nursing, and doesn't bother a toddler to eat it himself, go for it! If it does bother mom or baby, eat unspicy foods.

My firstborn has loved spicy foods since she started eating. The second can't stand the slightest bit of spice. Neither had any problem with my milk no matter what I ate. I had terrible heartburn in the 3rd trimester with both if I ate anything spicy or greasy.

And RE: the "vegetarian means no beef" thing, that is SUCH a common misconception! It drives me crazy!
When I had my first in hospital, I told them on the pre-admission sheet that I was vegan, told them when I checked in that I was vegan, told them when I checked in the second time (the first time I wasn't progressing and they sent me home until the next day) that I was vegan... after a 30 hour labor and two hours of pushing I finally had my baby and I was STARVED (I had snacked a bit throughout but no real meals)... and they said, "Oh, sorry, we don't have any vegetarian meals left tonight." Okay... do you have maybe like a banana or something in the kitchen? Anything? I'm starving! Then they brought me dairy at every meal after that.

Jen


----------



## catnip

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jenP* 
When I had my first in hospital, I told them on the pre-admission sheet that I was vegan, told them when I checked in that I was vegan, told them when I checked in the second time (the first time I wasn't progressing and they sent me home until the next day) that I was vegan... after a 30 hour labor and two hours of pushing I finally had my baby and I was STARVED (I had snacked a bit throughout but no real meals)... and they said, "Oh, sorry, we don't have any vegetarian meals left tonight." Okay... do you have maybe like a banana or something in the kitchen? Anything? I'm starving! Then they brought me dairy at every meal after that.

Jen

I was lucky enough to be forewarned about the food situation at my hospital and had my own vegan jello for labor (the all of 13 minutes of it I was actually at the hospital), and a peanut butter sandwich, a batch of applesauce spice muffins and a batch of oatmeal cookies stashed in my bag for afterwards. Boy am I glad I did. They had NOTHING I could eat for about 3 hours and then it was all crap.


----------



## Arwyn

Some people think vegetarian means no beef? You're kidding me. Right? Please tell me you're kidding me...


----------



## A&A

When I was a kid, my best friend's baby brother was screaming his head off. I asked why no one picked him up. I got told that it's "good for the development of his lungs" to cry it out.

I'm glad I figured out how stupid that is before I had children of my own.


----------



## jenP

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Arwyn* 
Some people think vegetarian means no beef? You're kidding me. Right? Please tell me you're kidding me...

Oh, no, it's true! I once got into a big argument with a _restaurant owner_ about it once. They had sent out advertisements in the mail with the menu printed on it, and I called to let them know their editor had made a mistake, what must have been meant as the "chicken" section had been labeled "vegetarian." But he assured me that all those chicken and seafood dishes were indeed vegetarian, because vegetarians are people who don't eat _red meat_. He further explained that vegans eat no animal products (correct) but that there was no word for people who eat no red meat, or chicken, or fish, but do eat milk and eggs. No word for that. Because vegetarian just means no red meat.







: And he got REALLY MAD that I tried to correct him.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *catnip* 
I was lucky enough to be forewarned about the food situation at my hospital and had my own vegan jello for labor (the all of 13 minutes of it I was actually at the hospital), and a peanut butter sandwich, a batch of applesauce spice muffins and a batch of oatmeal cookies stashed in my bag for afterwards. Boy am I glad I did. They had NOTHING I could eat for about 3 hours and then it was all crap.

I brought food, too, but just muffins and soy milk and fruit. I really wanted a meal after labor. My midwives did find me some cereal and bananas which I ate with my soymilk. Then after they brought me dairy the next morning, I sent it back, and they brought me a salad. Vegan bought not very filling. So I called the kitchen and talked to the nicest young guy there, talked about what they had on hand and what I could have. He sent up the greatest meals!! Great wholegrain bread from a local bakery, soy shakes, chick-pea salads, rice and potatoes... he was the weekend staff and on Monday morning
the "real" dietician must have been back on duty because they sent up what must have been the standard "vegetarian" meal: gardenburger with cheese on a crappy white massproduced synthetic roll and coffee with cream.








Apparently I was the first vegan they had come across in 100+ years of being in business as a hospital.

Jen


----------



## pantufla

After nine months of hyperemesis, 30 hours of labor (12 hours before the epidural), a c-section, sustaining permanent nerve damage to her bladder, passing out from the pain after surgery and being unable to breastfeed her baby for 14 hours, having to pump and cup feed her baby while teaching her to latch on for the next month, all the while throwing up every day for three weeks after having the baby... My friend's MIL arrived in town and within five minutes of picking her up at the airport said to her, "Maybe next time you can have a baby the RIGHT way."







: MIL's only gift for the new baby was DH's 25 year old used pacifiers (which had also been using by the other children in her daycare).







:


----------



## MCatLvrMom2A&X

Quote:

MIL's only gift for the new baby was DH's 25 year old used pacifiers (which had also been using by the other children in her daycare)















eeeeeeeewwwwwww


----------



## BetsyS

People really are stupid about vegetarianism. I once worked (in L&D) at a vegetarian hospital. When someone would have their baby, our standard "after hours" meal was a veggie pot pie, from the freezer. People would ask us time and time again if they couldn't just have chicken. Um, no. We don't have meat here. Period. Then, they would get all upset.







: That might be up there on the things to ask if you're choosing to have your baby in an Adventist Hospital. (the area had a huge number of Adventists, so everyone knew that they were veggie)


----------



## copperfox

In the past few weeks, my now 14wo DD will usually only nap in the sling or mei tai. My mother & a friend both told me that I wouldn't be able to "do that forever."







:

To which I replied, "I know! That's why I'm enjoying it now!"


----------



## Ginger6366

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LaurenB* 




































Please tell me you set this woman straight.

Honestly, as much as I could. She was my nurse for twelve hours. and during that time she came in probably four times to tell me " I looked it up and you are vegan". Every time, my DH and I went through the same retoric trying to educate her. She was completely bullheaded, seriously she wouldn't let it go that she was "right" and we were "wrong". Since she was the head nurse, I couldn't even complain to her supervisor. And WHERE did she look it up?


----------



## alana1980

My dad always tells me that its good for babies to cry (CIO) because it develops their lungs.

Umm... breathing develops their lungs not crying!!!


----------



## mamaofprincesses

My neighbor (older lady) told DH that I shouldn't drink anything cold while breastfeeding.

Other neighbor (younger lady) told me she planned on breastfeeding until her kids were 2 or 3. . .or until they get teeth.


----------



## olliepop

When I was about 6 months pregnant with my dd, my mother, upon seeing me for the first time since I was pregnant says, "I thought you said you were pregnant," b/c she considered me too small.

After conceiving after an ectopic pregnancy and emergency surgery, my grandmother says, "Make sure you eat this time, we don't want a repeat of before." Nice!

I've also gotten - "Do you feel like a cow?" from a friend about pumping. I said, "No, since I'm not supplying milk for the tri-state area."

"You're still doing _that_?" (with disdain) about nursing my dd when she was 7 months old.

"She needs to be in day care so she can learn to be around other people besides you and dh."


----------



## bigeyes

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ginger6366* 
She was completely bullheaded, seriously she wouldn't let it go that she was "right" and we were "wrong". Since she was the head nurse, I couldn't even complain to her supervisor. And WHERE did she look it up?

When you got out, did you contact the director of the hospital?
_Everybody_ reports to somebody.

That would have made my head explode, and I'm not even a vegetarian.


----------



## queen_anne78

ok so DD is a little bit high needs.

we were out in public and she started crying for a few minutes, fussed a little, and then settled in once I latched her on to comfort nurse. A lady came up to us and clucked "Oh, she has colic, doesn't she?" "No. She doesn't. She's hypertonic if you would like to know, but we're taking her for cranio-sacral therapy and seeing great improvements" Blank stare.

SIGH. I am SO tired of explaining the colic "rule of threes" to people. Where do people get the idea that babies who cry are "bad"?? They are babies. Sometimes they cry.


----------



## sothisislove

Quote:


Originally Posted by *queen_anne78* 
ok so DD is a little bit high needs.

we were out in public and she started crying for a few minutes, fussed a little, and then settled in once I latched her on to comfort nurse. A lady came up to us and clucked "Oh, she has colic, doesn't she?" "No. She doesn't. She's hypertonic if you would like to know, but we're taking her for cranio-sacral therapy and seeing great improvements" Blank stare.

SIGH. I am SO tired of explaining the colic "rule of threes" to people. Where do people get the idea that babies who cry are "bad"?? They are babies. Sometimes they cry.

What is the colic "rule of threes"?

oh...you just said you were tired of explaining it!! Sorry..







Maybe someone else answer the question?!

Thanks!


----------



## fioner

Just googled it.. I didn't know what it was either









Infant colic is often defined by the "Rule of Threes." A colicky baby who seems otherwise healthy and well-fed has episodes of crying, irritability and fussiness that:

* Begin within the first three weeks of life
* Last up to or more than three hours a day
* Occur at least three or more days a week
* Continue for at least three weeks
* Disappear at about three months of age


----------



## lil_miss_understood

Melissa S said:


> I'm sure many of you got this one. I got it three times while pregnant with #4 the last three being closely spaced. I was asked, "did anyone ever tell you how you get that way?" pointing to my obviously pregnant stomach (like I don't know about BC or something... I just choose not to screw around with my body... or wait, maybe I do! LOL). I was advised by a friend that if I heard it again I should say, "Yes, and obviously we do it very well!".
> 
> I'm obviously not caught up with this thread yet (by a long shot), but my response to this has always been "yes. you get bit by a snake"
> Usually the person will look at me like I'm crazy and say "A snake?"
> "Yes, a bed snake. I hear you can get bats to scare them off with but my husband won't buy me one for some reason."


----------



## lil_miss_understood

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamajo2004* 
This is dumb but in a cute way. We have a friend who is so sweet but very naive and clueless sometimes (childless as well). When my ds was born he came to see him in the hospital, picked him up while he was sleeping and asked "When does he open his eyes?". I was a little confused and said "When he wakes up?". And then I realized what he was asking and I said "...did you think he was a kitten?" lol









nak
oh too funny! my HUSBAND asked me that when ds2 was born in june (he didn't donate sperm for ds1 but he has donated much love







). i didn't mean to be mean or rude but i couldn't help looking at him and saying "he's not a KITTEN!"

in his defense, he'd been at the hospital with me for 2 days except to go home to sleep and ds's eyes were puffy and always closed.


----------



## srbushey

A couple nights ago I stayed up practically all night while dd and dh slept, b/c i NEEDED some alone time and I had a physical wound to nurse which wasn't happening when dd was awake. so the next morning my dh offered to take dd to class with him (a 2 hr session). i was so tired i let him.

anyway, he told me that some lady who has kids said he should NEVER go out with her w/o a bottle (which she has never taken, she's EBF!) and that she should be wrapped up tight ALL the time, b/c that's what SHE does with HER babies!!!







: Whatever, dd's never been much for swaddling, even when she was first born!

and later, a lady came up to him and said she'd like to hold dd and that it was _okay_ because she knows ME! dh hadn't met her before. he said "but _I_ don't know you!"

some people...


----------



## veganone

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ginger6366* 
Honestly, as much as I could. She was my nurse for twelve hours. and during that time she came in probably four times to tell me " I looked it up and you are vegan". Every time, my DH and I went through the same retoric trying to educate her. She was completely bullheaded, seriously she wouldn't let it go that she was "right" and we were "wrong". Since she was the head nurse, I couldn't even complain to her supervisor. And WHERE did she look it up?


I'm sorry, but this one is still cracking me up... That nurse would have LOVED me!!! Wow!


----------



## veganone

One of my mom's friends told me that I shouldn't have gotten a glider that reclines, because I should never let the baby fall asleep while I'm holding her. Um, huh?!!!


----------



## lil_miss_understood

Attila the Honey said:


> I have brown hair and brown eyes, dh has black hair and dark hazel eyes, dd has light brown hair and very blue eyes. It's a surprise even to us! But, if I have to hear one more person say, "heh heh, must be the milk man's baby" I will scream./QUOTE]
> 
> My mom very likely felt like this. She's Native American and, although my father was white, he was somewhat dark. After having 3 very Native looking boys, I was born with white blonde hair and blue eyes. I can't count how many times I heard people comment about how I must be the mailman's kid.
> 
> It was my dad, however, who had the perfect response:
> "You think so? I'll have to tell our "mailman" you think my daughter's hers."


----------



## Celticqueen

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Attila the Honey* 
It was my dad, however, who had the perfect response:
"You think so? I'll have to tell our "mailman" you think my daughter's hers."


----------



## User101

My husband is a pastor, and church people keep looking at Daniel and saying, "Well, there's no denying _he's_ Pastor's baby."

Was there doubt? I'm starting to feel a little insulted. (I have links in my sig to DH and all my boys)


----------



## elmh23

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
My husband is a pastor, and church people keep looking at Daniel and saying, "Well, there's no denying _he's_ Pastor's baby."

Was there doubt? I'm starting to feel a little insulted. (I have links in my sig to DH and all my boys)

Same thing has been said about my ds. I can't blame them though, they look exactly alike it even freaks my MIL out (she's accidently called him dhs name, lol.)


----------



## pantufla

In response to "Do you know what you're having?"
-- "We're pretty sure it's a baby..."

While Christmas shopping:
Clerk: Oh, you're having a baby for Christmas!
Me: No...
Clerk: New Year's?
Me: No...
Clerk: Chinese New Year?
Me: Keep going...
Clerk: Valentine's Day?
Me: You're getting closer.
Person standing in line after me: President's Day?!
Me: Bingo!
(Abrupt silence.)

In their defense, I was huge...

Watching me nurse DS#1 (18 months) after hearing that I was pregnant with DC#2...
"You're going to have to quit doing THAT pretty soon!"
Me: "No. I don't have to do anything."

DH tells me that when co-workers heard we were planning a home birth with baby #1 the men said, "Oh, you just wait! One contraction and she'll be headed to the hospital for the epidural!"







:

At DS#1's 18 month well-baby check up, the nurse practitioner told me that he was not "following the growth curve" and that it wasn't something to worry about "yet" but that at his 2 year appt we might have to make a "plan". She quizzed me about how much he was eating and drinking. And then told me "Well, maybe his appetite will improve when you wean him."







: And proceeded to tell me that he wasn't drinking enough rice milk every day.







: I later found out they aren't using the updated growth charts and his growth is right where it's supposed to be.

DS#2 (also born at home) was a hefty 9lbs 8ozs at birth. In the early weeks, EVERY time I fed him my mother would say, "WHAT?! You're feeding him again? He can't possibly be hungry!" I tried telling her, "You tell him that." But nothing sank in, until finally one day I yelled, "No one tells YOU when to be hungry! Why are you so sure you know when HE'S hungry?!"

My mother, when I was pregnant with DS#2, said during a conversation, "At least I'm not fat like you are."







My brain was working that day and I said, "At least I'm going to lose this weight once my baby is born."

My mother (again, with my mother!) persistently refers to DS#2 as "fatso." I finally yelled at her not to call him that anymore. She said, "What, it's not like he understands me." I said, "No, but I can!"


----------



## reducereuserecycle

whe i was 7 months preggo and told my MIL that i was going to cosleep she said (in front of a whole room full of DH's family on Christmas Eve) "You don't know what you're doing" my blood pressure shot up and i had to leave the room. it still makes me sick to think about it. dh was not in the room, but he was p'd when i told him. wander what she would have said if i told her i was going to have a UC







we didn't tell her till after the fact.


----------



## guestmama9915

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JacquelineR* 
I'm obviously not caught up with this thread yet (by a long shot), but my response to this has always been "yes. you get bit by a snake"
Usually the person will look at me like I'm crazy and say "A snake?"
"Yes, a bed snake. I hear you can get bats to scare them off with but my husband won't buy me one for some reason." 
















I love that!


----------



## lil_miss_understood

OT post, sorry.

My gran was probably the wisest woman I knew. Although she ff her kids, this is what she had to say to me about it when one of my cousins had her dd and gave her bottles from day 1: I hope you don't give that crap to your kids.

And a bitter-sweet story about my gran:
We were visiting the same cousin and her dd was crying her head off in the crib. Gran went to pick the baby up and my uncle told her that she had to "exercise her lungs". Gran asked him if he was going to just let HER cry when she was old and in a nursing home. He gave her a blank look. I said I never would.
When gran -was- in a nursing home, she would start to cry every time people who were visiting her were going to leave. The nurses who cared for her told me she cried for HOURS after people left and was inconsolable. I didn't get out to see her very often (the nursing home was 6 hours away from where I lived and I don't drive), but I always sat with her until she had stopped crying and seemed calm and peaceful. When I went to my gran's funeral, there was a tea at the nursing home and the nurses approached me. They thanked me for staying with gran as I had, saying "She usually cried for hours after people left, but was always so calm and happy after you'd visited."

ETA: I formula fed ds1 but not happily.


----------



## lexapurple

My MIL and GMIL were visiting when DD was 2 days old.
Whey came in while the she was asleep.

Gran - Where is the pacifier?
Me - She dosen't need one.
Gran -I like the pacifier.
MIL - I do to!
I thought " You can suck it yourself if you like it", but didn't say say it. I said she has me and her thumb. Pacifier can cause the nipple confusion.And I don't mind her sucking her thumb as long as she wants, but i don't like the look of 3-5y.o. kids with pasifiers.







: And i am not going to take the pacy away only because I don't like it.
My MIL proceeded to tell me that babies need pacifiers to satisfy their sucking need, because you can not nurse your baby more often than 8 times a day and pacifiers are better because after she is a year old, you would have to slap her hands or put mustard on her thumb to brake her from that habit. Pacifier- you just take it way.







:


----------



## Subliime

When I was 36 weeks pg with dd I went in for my drs visit. It was a different nurse that was taking my blood pressure. She asked me if I had talked to the anasteciologist (spelling? sorry) yet about my epidural and I told her that I had not b/c I would not be getting an epidural. The rest of the conversation went like this...

Nurse: "Oh, you're trying to be superwomen."
Me: "No, I just want to do it naturally, if I had my husband's approval I would be doing this at home."
Nurse: "OHHH, so many things can go wrong, you shouldn't do it at home. It's better in the hospital. Oh wow, you're blood pressure is really high!! You need to go lie down for 15 mins and then I'll check it again."







:

Then, the other day I was talking about how cosleeping was the best decision my husband and I had made so far. The other person said, "you're doing it for yourself, not for her" Huh? You mean to tell me that I like getting kicked and pinched and pushed off the bed every night?









There are soo many more but I can't think of them right off the top of my head.


----------



## Megali

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JacquelineR* 
And a bitter-sweet story about my gran:
We were visiting the same cousin and her dd was crying her head off in the crib. Gran went to pick the baby up and my uncle told her that she had to "exercise her lungs". Gran asked him if he was going to just let HER cry when she was old and in a nursing home. He gave her a blank look. I said I never would.
When gran -was- in a nursing home, she would start to cry every time people who were visiting her were going to leave. The nurses who cared for her told me she cried for HOURS after people left and was inconsolable. I didn't get out to see her very often (the nursing home was 6 hours away from where I lived and I don't drive), but I always sat with her until she had stopped crying and seemed calm and peaceful. When I went to my gran's funeral, there was a tea at the nursing home and the nurses approached me. They thanked me for staying with gran as I had, saying "She usually cried for hours after people left, but was always so calm and happy after you'd visited."

This is so touching it made me cry!


----------



## pantufla

My friend, her DH, and their two month old baby were going out to eat. The hostess who seated them pointed at the baby and asked, "Will you be needing a kid's menu for the baby?" My friend (who was EBF) smiled and said, "Thanks, but she's on a liquid diet." The hostess said, "Oh, will you be needing the wine list then?"

Uhhhh....


----------



## cinnamonamon

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pantufla* 
My friend, her DH, and their two month old baby were going out to eat. The hostess who seated them pointed at the baby and asked, "Will you be needing a kid's menu for the baby?" My friend (who was EBF) smiled and said, "Thanks, but she's on a liquid diet." The hostess said, "Oh, will you be needing the wine list then?"

Uhhhh....
















lets hope she was joking!


----------



## User101

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pantufla* 
My friend, her DH, and their two month old baby were going out to eat. The hostess who seated them pointed at the baby and asked, "Will you be needing a kid's menu for the baby?" My friend (who was EBF) smiled and said, "Thanks, but she's on a liquid diet." The hostess said, "Oh, will you be needing the wine list then?"

Uhhhh....


Hee. I'd be cracking up.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BetsyS* 
People really are stupid about vegetarianism. I once worked (in L&D) at a vegetarian hospital. When someone would have their baby, our standard "after hours" meal was a veggie pot pie, from the freezer. People would ask us time and time again if they couldn't just have chicken. Um, no. We don't have meat here. Period. Then, they would get all upset.







: That might be up there on the things to ask if you're choosing to have your baby in an Adventist Hospital. (the area had a huge number of Adventists, so everyone knew that they were veggie)









:
I







Adventists. I know nothing about their current practice of faith; all I know is that Loma Linda and Worthington food products are deeelicious!


----------



## blue-eden

I think the worst thing I've come across is the idea that one method or another is the best way to raise a child.


----------



## Oliver'sMom

when I was pregnant, people were always asking me "are you having a boy or a girl?" I didn't want to do ultrasounds, so we didn't know the sex. Eventually I got so tired of hearing this question, that I just started to say "yes". "we're having a boy or a girl." that would usually shut them up pretty quick


----------



## AllisonR

DS was born with every intervention, ending in emergency cesarean. So when I was pregnant with DD, I told my family that I was having a home birth.

My dads comments after a few Scotch and Soda's:

"I know more about birth that you do." (hmm, he is a man, he was not at any of his 3 childrens births, nor anyone elses, is not a doctor, midwife...)

"That is the most selfish, self centered thing I have ever heard. You should think about your son and husband, not just yourself." (???)

"I've just buried my son. Now you are going to die or kill your baby, and then I will have to bury you too." (This left me speechless.)


----------



## NaomiMcC

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blue-eden* 
I think the worst thing I've come across is the idea that one method or another is the best way to raise a child.









:


----------



## OllieMama

When out with the in-laws yesterday, I got the bit about babies needing to cry to exercise their lungs from my FIL. I was pretty surprised, actually. Though thankfully it was sort of in passing and in a non-committal sort of tone, and not because my ds was crying or anything. Maybe he just really thinks that's true, but doesn't really like the idea. I hope so!

AND while at dinner, he tried to offer ds (3.5 months) a LIME! I was just like, um, he's not eating any solids at all yet, and *certainly* not something that's going to probably upset him AND his tummy! We can wait quite a while before we coo over the funny face he makes at his first experience with something sour.

Who gives a 3.5 month old lemon or lime? Jeez, *I* don't find eating limes particularly enjoyable. Why would you want to purposely subject an unsuspecting little baby to something that would probably upset them for your amusement? That seems a little twisted. <sigh> He's a really good-natured guy. Hopefully he was either joking or a little confused about what is appropriate to give to babies of different ages. I can feel that the battle over feeding the baby is beginning. I need to get on my onesie-making project with a "Don't feed the baby" design, and soon.


----------



## Throkmorton

Quote:


Originally Posted by *OllieMama* 
Who gives a 3.5 month old lemon or lime? Jeez, *I* don't find eating limes particularly enjoyable. Why would you want to purposely subject an unsuspecting little baby to something that would probably upset them for your amusement?

Actually, both of my kids have loved lemons and limes ever since they tried them, at about 9 months.









Not saying it was a good idea at 3.5 months, but some kids do love sour stuff (DD likes hot sauce too)


----------



## triscuitsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *OllieMama* 
Who gives a 3.5 month old lemon or lime? Jeez, *I* don't find eating limes particularly enjoyable. Why would you want to purposely subject an unsuspecting little baby to something that would probably upset them for your amusement? That seems a little twisted. <sigh> He's a really good-natured guy. Hopefully he was either joking or a little confused about what is appropriate to give to babies of different ages. I can feel that the battle over feeding the baby is beginning. I need to get on my onesie-making project with a "Don't feed the baby" design, and soon.

Definitely not OK to feed a 3.5 anything solid and also definitely not OK to feed a baby of any age anything without Mamas approval... I would have been upset.

But, just as per the lime... my babe started eating lemons at 7 months (which is when he started eating any solids) and he loves them... can't get enough. We always get looks when he's eating the lemons off of our water glasses, but he definitely is a huge fan!


----------



## angrypixiemama

My FIL is a huge solids pusher. At 2 months he held my daughter and said, "Poor baby. Someday she will give you real food." I told him breastmilk WAS real food. He said, "Her father was eating lo mein at 3 months, and he is fine." For the record, DH (and all his siblings) have terrible stomach/digestive issues. I wonder how that happened???







:


----------



## OllieMama

Wow, 7 and 9 mos is earlier than I'd have thought babies would be into such things. I'm new at the whole baby thing still though, so it's good to have other moms who I trust to not do crazy things to their children around to bounce things off of







I certainly trust mdc moms more than my somewhat nutty FIL. But yeah, 3.5 mos is def. waaay too young. Wouldn't want his first experience with something other than bm (which is still a long way off) to be anything so... surprising


----------



## HappyFox05

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MelMel* 
people ask me if she's good, or if i like being a mama (huh!?!) and I tell them that 'well, she is alot of work, and has disrupted our lives more than we would've liked, but I cant get her back in now...we tried'


Man, I'm gonna have to remember that one!


----------



## Shenjall

Heres a little nugget from my mil and fil....

A quick background, my dh brother is separated. Its not going very well. I still keep in contact with his soon to be ex so I can see my nephew (he refused to call her for 2 years and set up some time to see his own son) anyway, he's seeing him now on a regular basis, for about 5 months now.

He's about to take him home (we're all visiting the il's for the afternoon) and he tells his 4yr son, "now remember, dont tell mommy we had mcdonalds or that I gave your peanut butter by accident, okay? remember, its our secret". Dh and I are shocked, the il's are LAUGHING thinking its the cutest and funniest thing in the world. Um, no, telling a child to lie to a parent is wrong, wrong, wrong. Especially about something like that. Oh, and he's allergic to peanuts. (I admit its interesting he didnt have any reaction, but still, mama's gotta know!)
So, dh and I get into a HUGE fight with his brother and parents, brother leaves and it keeps going with his parents. They tell us how they see nothing wrong with it. That its _her_ fault for him telling his 4 yr son to lie. B/c she may yell at him (the brother). Yeah, well, I would to for going against so many things, suck it up princess.

I'm still shocked at how they think anything this guy has done is anyway acceptable.

p.s. dont worry, a "little bird" told the mama about the peanuts.


----------



## ThreeBeans

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blue-eden* 
I think the worst thing I've come across is the idea that one method or another is the best way to raise a child.

Care to elaborate?


----------



## lurve

here a few recent ones:
my DD is six months old and has never had a pacifier. she was visiting her grandma and her cousin (who is 15 months old). her cousin hands her her own pacifier and dd takes it. grandma (my MIL) says "oh she knows just what to do with it" and i say, no, she puts EVERYTHING in her mouth (which she does!). then grandma turns the pacifier around so the nipple is in correct alignment with dd's mouth and says, well here, let's give her one. i practically swiped that thing out of grandma's hand.
then the same grandma said what a shame it was that i didn't cio (like her son does to his two kids) because then i would have more time...of course my own mom said that to me too


----------



## happy1nluv

You're gonna have to let him cry sometime. Wouldn't it be better now instead of when he's 4?
-so says my dad on how my son needs help falling asleep. Because he had SOOO much to do with us when we were babies (not his fault - he worked pretty much around the clock so mom could stay home with us, but really... you laugh about how much you weren't around in those days... WHY do you think i'd listen to your bedtime advise NOW?)


----------



## jenP

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ThreeBeans* 
Care to elaborate?









Yeah, I'm curious... For instanCE the science, as well as instinct, support AP as the best, so why would it be so bad and dumb to say it is the best way to raise children?

jEN


----------



## Lady Lilya

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ThreeBeans* 
Care to elaborate?









Not the person who said it, but I can understand why it is an issue if people say that one method is right. It implies certainty, and that no further investigation or scrutiny is of value. It is a dangerous place to go. As we all have seen, things that seem to be the best at the time often give way to new info. If it truly is the best, than it will continue to stand up to questioning. Best to always keep open the possibility that it may not be the best method after all.

----

Lurve,

Of course babies put everything in their mouth! When they start out life, their mouth is the organ with which they interact with the world. It is their primary sensory organ.

And if anyone gives me that crap about CIO so I could have more time! Grrrr. What more important use of my time is there than for the benefit of my children?


----------



## hippiemum21580

I get annoyed by the CONSTANT barrage of comments on how I have four boys. When I was pregnant with my youngest people would ask what the sex was and when I said another boy they woudl get thsi sad look on thier face like they pitied me or something or make some joke about haging so many boys. It got annoying cuz I really had no control over the sex of my kids first of all but more so as if to say boys are somehow lesser or something, like i ought to birth a girl and be done with it and instead I keep having these BOYS. He's only 3 weeks old and already people are saying "maybe the NEXT one will be a girl." Yeah, cuz the only reason I have these ones is cuz I am trying for a girl. I am so thrilled with my boys and though a girl would be a blessing just as much I do not feel I am lacking anything. Grrr.


----------



## NeivaKai

I LOVE this thread...

my ex, whose child I bore, said

"It's not like they learn anything before they are 6 months old anyway"

when talking about my plans, not wanting to leave my son at daycare and wanting to take parenting classes.
and:

"When he is 8 months old he can do a week with you, a week with me"

when discussing a parenting plan for after our son was born. He is seeing him three days a month because he lives out of state, is planning to move to my city soon...but even still! He's being BREASTFED remember??? Not to mention at that age they start to have seperation anxiety. And you are the same guy who said they don't learn anything before 6 months.

I can't believe I ever wanted a life with this guy...and he is an executive for a LARGE corp. 36 years old...crazy.


----------



## HappyFox05

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AGrace584* 
At one point I was sitting in the chair nursing (and it was obvious I was nursing) a nurse came in and asked if I'd like him to go across the hall to pediatrics and get a bottle for her. I said no. He insisted, saying, "are you sure, it's no trouble, I could just grab some Similac from around the corner". He's asking me this while I was nursing.

That's one of those Jeff Foxworthy "Here's your sign" moments.

I don't have anything to add to the discussion yet, but I'm glad 19 years in the Army has helped me perfect the "smile & nod" technique. (Though my soldiers & I like to think of it more as "Smile and wave, boys, smile and wave.") Sounds like I'll be needing that skill.


----------



## srbushey

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blue-eden* 
I think the worst thing I've come across is the idea that one method or another is the best way to raise a child.

LOL, so true. And of course everyone believes it's their method, even if they've never had children to try it out on!!!


----------



## MimiB

Ok, I'm about a half way through reading all these posts but I just had a funny comment directed at me.

My friend (whose DD is now 4 years old) and I were hanging out and she was asking if we had introduced solids to my DS (who was almost 5 months at the time). I told her no, and that we definitely won't start until after 6 months and, in fact, might delay much longer b/c DH has so many allergies. She looked at me with considerable concern and said, "But, you should introduce solids between 4 and 6 months or they'll lose interest." I said, "In food?!!?" and laughed my butt off. It seems she took her pedi's advice about 4-6 months quite literally, split the difference and introduced solids to her DD at 5 months. heh heh

I had images of my son in college, walking into his dorm room with a whole case of thermoses. After his friends ask what that's for, he'd have to say, "It's breastmilk. My mom didn't give me solids during the 4-6 month window and I lost interest in food...forever."


----------



## jayayenay

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MimiB* 
I had images of my son in college, walking into his dorm room with a whole case of thermoses. After his friends ask what that's for, he'd have to say, "It's breastmilk. My mom didn't give me solids during the 4-6 month window and I lost interest in food...forever."









Lol!


----------



## prettypixels

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MimiB* 
Ok, I'm about a half way through reading all these posts but I just had a funny comment directed at me.

My friend (whose DD is now 4 years old) and I were hanging out and she was asking if we had introduced solids to my DS (who was almost 5 months at the time). I told her no, and that we definitely won't start until after 6 months and, in fact, might delay much longer b/c DH has so many allergies. She looked at me with considerable concern and said, "But, you should introduce solids between 4 and 6 months or they'll lose interest." I said, "In food?!!?" and laughed my butt off. It seems she took her pedi's advice about 4-6 months quite literally, split the difference and introduced solids to her DD at 5 months. heh heh

I had images of my son in college, walking into his dorm room with a whole case of thermoses. After his friends ask what that's for, he'd have to say, "It's breastmilk. My mom didn't give me solids during the 4-6 month window and I lost interest in food...forever."













































bahahhahahahaha that is hilarious!


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *srbushey* 
LOL, so true. And of course everyone believes it's their method, even if they've never had children to try it out on!!!

What, you mean like my 2-part method:
1. Assume only that the child is a person
and
2. It's easier to not use something you've learned than it is to use something you've never learned.


----------



## Peppermint Poppies

I was told that I needed to 'milk' my baby son's nipples or he would grow up with man-boobs


----------



## geckoed

When my first was standing at 10 months my mom said I needed to flip the playpen over and keep him under it so he couldn't stand up or he'd be bowlegged.
I said "the HOUSE is his play pen- will you help me flip it?"

When one of my toddlers was prone to night waking she suggested flipping the playpen (again with the flipped over playpens! as if I HAVE a playpen!) and tying it over the LO's bed with bungee cords and then starting CIO.

I reminded her LO didnt HAVE a playpen OR a bed









My first was diagnosed with autism. My mom wanted to know if I had to "take him in" or if "they come to you now" Who? "the people who keep kids like that"
I didn't put him up for adoption, which drove her NUTS. When he was 6 my mom suggested it was "high time he go live with his own kind" and sent info on group homes for kids with autism.

My 4th has an immune deficiency. She insists its cruel to keep him alive. She quietly, patiently explained that I need to let him die, sacrifice the one for the good of the many, says my other children suffer because of him and the hospitalizations and treatments, and visitor restrictions.

She's a gem, anyone in need of a crazy old lady feel free to PM me


----------



## turnipmama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Peppermint Poppies* 
I was told that I needed to 'milk' my baby son's nipples or he would grow up with man-boobs
























:









geckoed...that's awful! do you even speak to her anymore? I wouldn't...


----------



## In Exile

Quote:


Originally Posted by *geckoed* 
When my first was standing at 10 months my mom said I needed to flip the playpen over and keep him under it so he couldn't stand up or he'd be bowlegged.
I said "the HOUSE is his play pen- will you help me flip it?"

When one of my toddlers was prone to night waking she suggested flipping the playpen (again with the flipped over playpens! as if I HAVE a playpen!) and tying it over the LO's bed with bungee cords and then starting CIO.

I reminded her LO didnt HAVE a playpen OR a bed









My first was diagnosed with autism. My mom wanted to know if I had to "take him in" or if "they come to you now" Who? "the people who keep kids like that"
I didn't put him up for adoption, which drove her NUTS. When he was 6 my mom suggested it was "high time he go live with his own kind" and sent info on group homes for kids with autism.

My 4th has an immune deficiency. She insists its cruel to keep him alive. She quietly, patiently explained that I need to let him die, sacrifice the one for the good of the many, says my other children suffer because of him and the hospitalizations and treatments, and visitor restrictions.

She's a gem, anyone in need of a crazy old lady feel free to PM me


























That's awful! So sorry.


----------



## ThreeBeans

Quote:


Originally Posted by *geckoed* 
When my first was standing at 10 months my mom said I needed to flip the playpen over and keep him under it so he couldn't stand up or he'd be bowlegged.
I said "the HOUSE is his play pen- will you help me flip it?"

When one of my toddlers was prone to night waking she suggested flipping the playpen (again with the flipped over playpens! as if I HAVE a playpen!) and tying it over the LO's bed with bungee cords and then starting CIO.

I reminded her LO didnt HAVE a playpen OR a bed









My first was diagnosed with autism. My mom wanted to know if I had to "take him in" or if "they come to you now" Who? "the people who keep kids like that"
I didn't put him up for adoption, which drove her NUTS. When he was 6 my mom suggested it was "high time he go live with his own kind" and sent info on group homes for kids with autism.

My 4th has an immune deficiency. She insists its cruel to keep him alive. She quietly, patiently explained that I need to let him die, sacrifice the one for the good of the many, says my other children suffer because of him and the hospitalizations and treatments, and visitor restrictions.

She's a gem, anyone in need of a crazy old lady feel free to PM me



















How do you even talk to her? I would hate her, seriously hate her


----------



## LaurenB

Quote:


Originally Posted by *geckoed* 
When my first was standing at 10 months my mom said I needed to flip the playpen over and keep him under it so he couldn't stand up or he'd be bowlegged.
I said "the HOUSE is his play pen- will you help me flip it?"

When one of my toddlers was prone to night waking she suggested flipping the playpen (again with the flipped over playpens! as if I HAVE a playpen!) and tying it over the LO's bed with bungee cords and then starting CIO.

I reminded her LO didnt HAVE a playpen OR a bed









My first was diagnosed with autism. My mom wanted to know if I had to "take him in" or if "they come to you now" Who? "the people who keep kids like that"
I didn't put him up for adoption, which drove her NUTS. When he was 6 my mom suggested it was "high time he go live with his own kind" and sent info on group homes for kids with autism.

My 4th has an immune deficiency. She insists its cruel to keep him alive. She quietly, patiently explained that I need to let him die, sacrifice the one for the good of the many, says my other children suffer because of him and the hospitalizations and treatments, and visitor restrictions.

She's a gem, anyone in need of a crazy old lady feel free to PM me









uke uke uke uke uke
I think it's high time she goes to live with her own kind. But that might be a mean thing to do to the other wicked witches.


----------



## CorasMama

Geckoed, your mom made *me* cry, I can't imagine how *you* don't just "let her die, sacrifice for the good of the many"!


----------



## cinnamonamon

: geckoed


----------



## TICKLEDPINK

We hardly ever go to well baby check ups but this one was a necesity as we had to get a referal for a hearing test and a speech eval. I took dd to her 2yr check up and the docto told me that my husband and I coddle her too much, that she should not be breastfeed anymore that she was way too old, and that cosleeping was ridulouse that it was interfering with our marriage! Yes she said all this! Now that is why I refuse to see her again!


----------



## St. Margaret

ditto! that's possibly the most toxic parent ever!! I'm sorry


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *geckoed* 
My first was diagnosed with autism. My mom wanted to know if I had to "take him in" or if "they come to you now" Who? "the people who keep kids like that"
I didn't put him up for adoption, which drove her NUTS. When he was 6 my mom suggested it was "high time he go live with his own kind" and sent info on group homes for kids with autism.

My 4th has an immune deficiency. She insists its cruel to keep him alive. She quietly, patiently explained that I need to let him die, sacrifice the one for the good of the many, says my other children suffer because of him and the hospitalizations and treatments, and visitor restrictions.

After your experiences with her following the birth of your first child she was in any sort of a position to make remarks to you about your 4th? People with your patience and capacity for forgiveness are a blessing in this world.


----------



## Meg Murry.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blue-eden*
I think the worst thing I've come across is the idea that one method or another is the best way to raise a child.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *srbushey* 
LOL, so true. And of course everyone believes it's their method, even if they've never had children to try it out on!!!

Allow me to point out the absolutely obvious:
*Some methods are better than others.*


----------



## CorasMama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Meg Murry.* 
Allow me to point out the absolutely obvious:
*Some methods are better than others.*









:


----------



## Gendenwitha

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Meg Murry.* 
Allow me to point out the absolutely obvious:
*Some methods are better than others.*

But there is a world of difference between "some methods are better than others" and "one method or another is the best".

My method of washing dishes may be different than your method, but both probably accomplish clean dishes in a reasonable amount of time. That's totally different than saying all methods are equal--including letting the dog lick them!









Generally speaking, I think if parents can filter out all the crap they learned from their parents, pedi, and society, and really be in touch with their instinct... nothing else is better than the parents internal voice.


----------



## 1Baby5Pups

Quote:


Originally Posted by *geckoed* 
My first was diagnosed with autism. My mom wanted to know if I had to "take him in" or if "they come to you now" Who? "the people who keep kids like that"
I didn't put him up for adoption, which drove her NUTS. When he was 6 my mom suggested it was "high time he go live with his own kind" and sent info on group homes for kids with autism.

This story just makes me want to cry. I'm sitting quietly in my living room, having finally got the dogs quiet. My baby is napping (presumably) in the nursery with my husband. And napping, finally, in the chair besides me is our friend Josh. He's 23 with a severe form of autism, among other tough challenges. His parents fought for his rights for years. Fortunately, their close family is very supportive. It ripped the marriage apart, but both parents still work very hard to make sure their sons' needs are met. Now that he is technically an adult, they are trying to reclaim some of their life while giving him his own version of independent living. His mom is still with him a minimum of two days a week. My husband is a paid employee, funded by the gov't. Josh's parents fought hard, again, to achieve a level of gov't support so that they could keep him living in a home rather than an institution. And he does. We are part of his extended family now.

His immediate family loves him and embraces him. His Gram gave him a fish for his birthday yesterday and is going to come by every week to clean the fish bowl. When she visits, she wears his favorite shirt because he likes to talk about it.

I know that kind of comment comes from a previous generation/school of thought where you just didn't keep special people in your home, and it was better for everyone (including them) to be with "their own kind." But I look at Josh and wonder where that school of thought ever came from. He has taught me so much about parenting and patience. And, with his 2-year-old mentality, predicted our second child despite my best attempts to shush him (I'm not ready yet).

I know this is very off topic.

The worst/dumbest thing said to me... in the forefront of my mind is a recent comment by my father. Sleep issues have been the biggest here. I made the mistake of mentioning that a trip to the chiropractor for our daughter had made a world of difference (slept through the night for the first time the night of the visit and for the next three nights). He hates chiropractors and went on a rant about it, denying that they have any worth at all. The kicker? "Just give her some warm milk and she'll sleep."

Really Dad? Because you had SOOO much involvement in raising me. Grr.


----------



## srbushey

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Meg Murry.* 
Allow me to point out the absolutely obvious:
*Some methods are better than others.*

You don't say...







: and btw, I agree. I just couldn't help posting my sarcasm at _all_ the dumb things ppl say that they actually believe are true!!!

and Geckoed, I just am going to echo all the sentiment ppl have posted about your mom. Wow, just wow. I didn't know there was EVER a school of thought like that. Well, okay, I did, but that's no excuse for her!!!


----------



## Meg Murry.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Gendenwitha* 
But there is a world of difference between "some methods are better than others" and "one method or another is the best".

My method of washing dishes may be different than your method, but both probably accomplish clean dishes in a reasonable amount of time. That's totally different than saying all methods are equal--including letting the dog lick them!









Generally speaking, I think if parents can filter out all the crap they learned from their parents, pedi, and society, and really be in touch with their instinct... nothing else is better than the parents internal voice.

But the problem, as you're highlighting here, is that far too many people (not you, obviously) believe that a statement such as, "There are many different ways to raise a child" is equivalent to the idea that "all methods are of equal worth and value."

By my statement, I was attempting to illustrate the idea that there is a spectrum from "best" to "worst," or, if you prefer, "better" to "dreadful." Obviously, your usual way of washing the dishes is (I assume) to submerge them in water and wipe them with a sponge and though the dog's tongue might get the dish "clean," I'm sure we'd agree that on the better--->dreadful spectrum, the former way is preferable to the latter.

Personally, I'm just rather tired of the kind of moral relativism/political correctness that asserts that everything, including the many ways we treat our children, is of equal value.


----------



## blue-eden

Quote:

Personally, I'm just rather tired of the kind of moral relativism/political correctness that asserts that everything, including the many ways we treat our children, is of equal value.
Luckily for you, then, no one has asserted that here.


----------



## geckoed

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LaurenB* 
uke uke uke uke uke
I think it's high time she goes to live with her own kind. But that might be a mean thing to do to the other wicked witches.









no kidding! Those poor other wicked witches...


----------



## geckoed

Thank you Val. Mostly for loving Josh, but also for telling me about him.


----------



## cinnamonamon

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blue-eden* 
Luckily for you, then, no one has asserted that here.

I really don't think Meg was doing anything more than clearing the air. I think it was hanging there too & am glad someone took the time to post it clearly.

Even though we supposedly all know this site is devoted to a certain method of parenting, (so just by our being here we are agreeing that one way is better -- of course there's much room for differences within that way) there are some who sign up for these boards and *don't* know; at least at first.


----------



## BarefootScientist

Ok, I had to add mine to this incredibly long but entertaining thread.

Dumbest:

DH: (trying to explain EC in a way that wouldn't freak her out) "Usually we let him go poop in the sink."
MIL: "You let him poop in the sink??!! Why don't you just let him poop in a diaper?"








Well for starters, which mess would YOU rather clean up?

Worst:

We were in the park outside the library and DS was crying. We had just figured out that he was hungry and I was working on getting him nursing when this older man walks by and says: "Are you abusing that poor little baby?"

Wow...I'm sure he didn't actually mean what he said, but why would you even joke about that?


----------



## MilkTrance

DH's gram, bless her heart, told me that DS only "thought" he was hungry.

He was upset; he was doing his hunger cry; I said "oh, he is hungry, give him to me." She said "he certainly THINKS he is."

What is that even supposed to mean? Am I the only mother in the world who can differentiate her baby's cries? The fact that he was PUTTING HIS HAND TO HIS MOUTH might have been a clue? I dunno, it just made me kind of mad. Post natal hormones I guess.

Also, this isn't a dumb parenting thing really, but a petty annoyance -- when MIL holds DS she won't tell me when he's pooped, and when she changes his diaper (I know, I'm lucky that she does this, and enjoys it), if there is an "oops" on his clothes, she doesn't rinse them, she just throws them in a bag. Two outfits have been stained now because they were not rinsed.

I probably sound like a total petty you-know-what now, but I just wish she had rinsed the outfits, lol. They were cute!

A couple weeks after having DS, I brought him to my frirend's house to show him off. I said I was very tired, and she mentioned that it wasn't too early to put him on a schedule! Hello, he's a newborn and I'm a SAHM. What is SO important, more important than my baby, that I'd even WANT to put him on a schedule at that point? Yeah, the dishes didn't get done for a good three weeks, and yes, our floors became so dirty I wore shoes in the house... but so what? I enjoyed spending time with my new baby.


----------



## MilkTrance

Geckoed, I'm really sorry about your mom's behaviour. That really stinks.


----------



## Arwyn

Geckoed, my DP's response to that was something along the lines of "She needs to stop talking to her mom." and then "oh! and when she's 70....!" and "next time she starts talking like that, you can start talking about what kind of 'retirement home' she'll be going to."

Which is why he doesn't post here. He'd probably be banned in a week, and I don't think it's good for a partnership to have to moderate your lover.









OK, my dumbest: we EC our baby born in March, we live in the Pacific North West, and we're pretty well casual nudists when home alone, so we don't put clothes on our kiddo when we're home. He's the world's cutest Naked Baby.







My aunt comes to visit, and in the 6 hours she's over here makes comments no less than 3 times how winter's going to come as a shock to him when he has to start wearing clothing, or how we're going to have huge struggles with him when he's five years old and "has to get dressed to go to school". _Because we don't dress our five month old at home._







: I thought about saying "well good thing he's not going to school then" but I didn't want to get into that with her (she's a university professor in a teaching program).


----------



## hamletsjadedlover

i was advised by my sister when i nurse my child (wearing a modest nursing shirt mind you) that i need to cover myself b/c her 4 year old has a breast fascination! if i could have thought fast enough i would have advised her good hes a boy isnt he supposed to?!?!?
my favo question from my i never b/f any children grandmother
she is always asking has your milk come in yet? (my little one has gained a 1lb so i like to think so lol)
i was polite advising her yes the first time but the 50th time i advised her according to my husbad ;-) yes


----------



## MilkTrance

Quote:

we're going to have huge struggles with him when he's five years old and "has to get dressed to go to school". Because we don't dress our five month old at home.
Ohhhhh how I LOVE those types of comments.

I guess that when DS graduates high school, he will do so while wearing a (cloth) diaper, nursing on my boob (lying down of course, because he can't roll over) and at 3 a.m. because we never put him on a schedule. All while I struggle to support his 200-lb frame on my hip, because, don't you know, I never put him down so he _never_ learned to be independent. When he marries, there won't be a wedding cake because I didn't start him on solids soon enough. They will toast with breastmilk. His wedding night will be spent in bed with me because we co-sleep and he'll just be TOO darn attached, but it doesn't matter anyway because his wife will want to sleep in a separate room so as not to catch the terrible diseases he will no doubt carry because we didn't vaccinate. Good thing, too, for if she slept in the same bed she'd see that we DIDN'T circumcise him! It's not such a bad thing, though, since his future wife won't know how DEMANDING he is, eating when he's hungry and all that sort of nonsense.

It just was never meant to be.


----------



## HappyFox05

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hamletsjadedlover* 
my favo question from my i never b/f any children grandmother
she is always asking has your milk come in yet? (my little one has gained a 1lb so i like to think so lol)
i was polite advising her yes the first time but the 50th time i advised her according to my husbad ;-) yes


----------



## triscuitsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MilkTrance* 
Ohhhhh how I LOVE those types of comments.

I guess that when DS graduates high school, he will do so while wearing a (cloth) diaper, nursing on my boob (lying down of course, because he can't roll over) and at 3 a.m. because we never put him on a schedule. All while I struggle to support his 200-lb frame on my hip, because, don't you know, I never put him down so he _never_ learned to be independent. When he marries, there won't be a wedding cake because I didn't start him on solids soon enough. They will toast with breastmilk. His wedding night will be spent in bed with me because we co-sleep and he'll just be TOO darn attached, but it doesn't matter anyway because his wife will want to sleep in a separate room so as not to catch the terrible diseases he will no doubt carry because we didn't vaccinate. Good thing, too, for if she slept in the same bed she'd see that we DIDN'T circumcise him! It's not such a bad thing, though, since his future wife won't know how DEMANDING he is, eating when he's hungry and all that sort of nonsense.

It just was never meant to be.

I say stuff like this ALL the time... I love it!!! *claps*


----------



## *~Member~*

From my mom 2 days after Calypso died

'I was praying she'd die if she was going to need any long term care'

Me: 'bite me B*tch'

Her: 'well it's true you already have two messed up kids, you don't need another'


----------



## ~Boudicca~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Alisteal* 
From my mom 2 days after Calypso died

'I was praying she'd die if she was going to need any long term care'

Me: 'bite me B*tch'

Her: 'well it's true you already have two messed up kids, you don't need another'









There haven't been enough UA violations invented yet to cover how angry that makes me.








That really sucks, mama.


----------



## NeivaKai

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MilkTrance* 
Ohhhhh how I LOVE those types of comments.

I guess that when DS graduates high school, he will do so while wearing a (cloth) diaper, nursing on my boob (lying down of course, because he can't roll over) and at 3 a.m. because we never put him on a schedule. All while I struggle to support his 200-lb frame on my hip, because, don't you know, I never put him down so he _never_ learned to be independent. When he marries, there won't be a wedding cake because I didn't start him on solids soon enough. They will toast with breastmilk. His wedding night will be spent in bed with me because we co-sleep and he'll just be TOO darn attached, but it doesn't matter anyway because his wife will want to sleep in a separate room so as not to catch the terrible diseases he will no doubt carry because we didn't vaccinate. Good thing, too, for if she slept in the same bed she'd see that we DIDN'T circumcise him! It's not such a bad thing, though, since his future wife won't know how DEMANDING he is, eating when he's hungry and all that sort of nonsense.

It just was never meant to be.

HAHAHA awesome.


----------



## bigeyes

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Alisteal* 
From my mom 2 days after Calypso died

'I was praying she'd die if she was going to need any long term care'

Me: 'bite me B*tch'

Her: 'well it's true you already have two messed up kids, you don't need another'









wow. that is truly awful.


----------



## NeivaKai

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Alisteal* 
From my mom 2 days after Calypso died

'I was praying she'd die if she was going to need any long term care'

Me: 'bite me B*tch'

Her: 'well it's true you already have two messed up kids, you don't need another'









:







I would of beat her. I am so sorry momma. Grieve far from that woman.


----------



## *~Member~*

Yeah I didn't talk to her for a few good weeks after that. It really hurt me so badly.


----------



## bigeyes

I remember my mother commenting that it was _a good thing_ one of my relatives miscarried her mixed race baby. This was _while_ I was pregnant with my mixed race ds.







What is wrong with people?


----------



## gratefulbambina

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Alisteal* 
From my mom 2 days after Calypso died

'I was praying she'd die if she was going to need any long term care'

Me: 'bite me B*tch'

Her: 'well it's true you already have two messed up kids, you don't need another'


----------



## MilkTrance

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bigeyes* 
I remember my mother commenting that it was _a good thing_ one of my relatives miscarried her mixed race baby. This was _while_ I was pregnant with my mixed race ds.







What is wrong with people?


Wow, what the...

Is it 1950 again or something? I don't get it.







:

Also, Alisteal, that is terrible, I'm so sorry.


----------



## mummyc

Wow there have been some funny, strange and downright horrible things said to mothers!









My experience thus far:

On breastfeeding:
"you MUST give your baby water to drink otherwise she'll get dehydrated"

"You MUST give your baby water to drink so she doesn't get thrush on her tongue"

"that looks weird" - from my otherwise supportive sis

On DD's clingy moments:

"You gotta train that out of her, she must get used to other people". She's 5 months old! And I'm not back to work til next year!

"MY baby wasn't like that"

Miscellaneous:

When pregnant, I was told not to wear trousers so that the baby could breathe better. I was also told not to drink via a can or a straw for the same reason (different people told me this).


----------



## shpica

In a discussion with my grandmother about bfing why she didn't breastfeed "I'm not a cow".

Hmmm... so that makes me one?


----------



## LaurenB

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mummyc* 
When pregnant, I was told not to wear trousers so that the baby could breathe better. I was also told not to drink via a can or a straw for the same reason (different people told me this).

Wait, the baby needs to be able to breathe through a lady's vagina? Good grief, I've been wearing pants pretty much every day of this pregnancy!


----------



## mummyc

crazy stuff!

And how could I forget this... I'm often advised that when my daughter isn't crying, DON'T pick her up, let her chill on the bed/cot/swing, in case she gets "spoiled" *sigh*

The same person - I told them not to do something - I forget what - and she told me "What do YOU know about babies?", just because DD is my first and granted, I've not had much experience with kids. But I do know my baby! Grr...


----------



## momma-d

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bigeyes* 
I remember my mother commenting that it was _a good thing_ one of my relatives miscarried her mixed race baby. This was _while_ I was pregnant with my mixed race ds.







What is wrong with people?

woah.


----------



## momma-d

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mummyc* 

When pregnant, I was told not to wear trousers so that the baby could breathe better. I was also told not to drink via a can or a straw for the same reason (different people told me this).

wha....? That's freakin' hilarious!


----------



## mummyc

Quote:


Originally Posted by *shpica* 
In a discussion with my grandmother about bfing why she didn't breastfeed "I'm not a cow".

Hmmm... so that makes me one?

sheer wrongness on so many levels...


----------



## umami_mommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mummyc* 
When pregnant, I was told not to wear trousers so that the baby could breathe better. I was also told not to drink via a can or a straw for the same reason (different people told me this).

WOW, people are really much stupider than i ever imagined.







:

i think these comments are the best support i can think of for homeschooling.


----------



## kiwiva

My aunt told me this weekend that once the baby starts being distracted while nursing, that means she's ready to begin weaning. Well she went through a phase of it at 4 mos and now there's just so many exciting things going on so I don't think so. I just let it go.

Later when she heard DD (10 mos) sleeps in the same room with us she started screaming, "What?! You must be insane. You are insane!!!!!" It was pretty funny. If I'd told her she's in the bed with us, she'd have gone off the deep end! Then she explained that with all the baby noises she couldn't sleep. Even with them down the hall she had to run a fan so she couldn't hear them.









I don't think she'll ever ask me about sleeping again though as she asked if I was ever planning to put her in her own room and I replied that I didn't expect her to still be with us at 15.


----------



## tankgirl73

Quote:

In a discussion with my grandmother about bfing why she didn't breastfeed "I'm not a cow".
Heh... my reply to that (if I were thinking on my feet) would have been "How true! And neither is my baby. Which is why she gets HUMAN milk."


----------



## Onemagicmummy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flutemandolin* 
"Third babies are the easiest, least demanding, quietest....."

-My doctor



















i jsut had to say taht i actualy found my 3rd baby to be the hardest, most demanding, loudest, craziest boy ever and his was the worst labour too
but i would not change him for the world(im still on page 28 way back in 2003 so im gonna be a while befre i am up to date on this thread but is fab,)


----------



## Gumby

Quote:


Originally Posted by *honeybeedreams* 
i think these comments are the best support i can think of for homeschooling.











me too


----------



## HappyFox05

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mummyc* 
When pregnant, I was told not to wear trousers so that the baby could breathe better. I was also told not to drink via a can or a straw for the same reason (different people told me this).


----------



## mummyc

I have more! lol

- ok, when DD was about a week old, mother, mil and aunt were gong on about how DD must get some water to drink. I wasn't in the mood to smile sweetly and nod, I told them (politely) that water isn't necessary for EBF babies. Mother is indignant, aunt is carrying on as if the child is going to be neglected, while mil is trying to be nice and says that you can get bottled water that's specially for babies - it says so on the label!

So wait, breastmilk which the Creator intended moms to use isn't quite enough for newborns, but you're going to trust what some manufacturer says instead?







:

- My mother is good about not letting babies cry. But she still believes I must leave the baby alone when she's not crying. I swear this spoiling theory is one of the world's biggest misconceptions. I kinda believed it until I read The Baby Book (Dr Sears) when I was pregnant!

- When I was preggers, I told someone (a mom of 3) that according to the 20 week u/s she was head down. To this person, that meant my baby would DEFINITELY be a preemie. My DD was born 11 days past due date.

- My midwife was on holiday so at about 39 weeks I saw a doctor for an antenatal check. She looked over my birth plan and saw I opted to have a natural birth at the birth centre (that went out the window as she was "overdue"), then tried to talk me out of it because she found her labour too painful, and that I might prefer to have an epidural to hand if I change my mind. That was sooo disheartening.

- The hospital's policy was not to reveal the gender during u/s. That suited me and DH down to the ground. What was SOOOOO annoying was how other people didn't believe that we didn't know what my baby's sex was and thought we were lying, keeping it a secret. AND IF WE WERE KEEPING IT A SECRET, SO WHAT? IT'S OUR BABY!!! Dang!

- DH gets thoroughly peed off when my mother or mil try to take the baby from him, as if he can't be involved with his own child. And I can't blame him one bit.

- When DD was 2 days old, I had a terrible time trying to BF properly, I wasn't doing great with latching or positioning; the hospital were keen to get us out of there with little help with BFing. In desperation and on little sleep, I called the hospital to ask which formula I should get. The disinterested midwife said "they're all pretty much the same". GRRR... Bless DH, he said to call again and get through to someone else, and another midwife answered. I asked her the same question, and she said "no way, your body has everything your baby needs for breastfeeding. I'll get the community midwife out to you". I kid you not, about 30 minutes later there was a knock on the door, and within minutes me and DD were nursing thanks to the help of an incredible midwife!

Before she came my best friend gave me a pep talk and really encouraged me. Sadly I knew I could not call my mother, she was almost adamant that my baby would refuse the breast, she was saying this when I was PG... because neither I nor my siblings took to the breast.


----------



## majorsky

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mummyc* 
- The hospital's policy was not to reveal the gender during u/s. That suited me and DH down to the ground. What was SOOOOO annoying was how other people didn't believe that we didn't know what my baby's sex was and thought we were lying, keeping it a secret. AND IF WE WERE KEEPING IT A SECRET, SO WHAT? IT'S OUR BABY!!! Dang!

We had the same reaction from my MIL. We opted to not find out the gender of our baby, but my MIL thought we actually knew and were keeping it a secret. For months she tried to get us either to find out what the gender was, or to tell her if we secretly knew. Fortunately my DH totally supported my feeling that this was OUR baby and we wanted the gender to be a surprise for everyone. I reasoned that once the baby was born, my MIL would know for the rest of its life what its gender was.

Kristin


----------



## Finch

People had a cow when we chose to not find out ds's sex before he was born. We got untold amounts of crap over that.


----------



## TinyFrog

Quote:


Originally Posted by *majorsky* 
.. I reasoned that once the baby was born, my MIL would know for the rest of its life what its gender was.

Kristin

laughup


----------



## elsa_elsa

my DS is 7 weeks old so I haven't gotten too many silly comments yet. However, I have gotten the "classic" - Is he a good baby?

Usually I laugh a little and reply - "Well, we're not going to send hime back"

People seem horrified that I would think about "sending him back".


----------



## MissE

1st. The doc at the Family Clinic in my hospital told me I was going to miscarry due to some bleeding at week 6 and week 7. That was very encouraging.

2nd. My mother telling me my milk was going to get bad if I kept BFing DS. Also very encouraging.

3rd. Again, my mom telling me I should boil a potato for DS, mash it with some milk, butter and salt...did I mention DS is only five months old? Good thing my mom lives sooo far away.


----------



## NeivaKai

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MissE* 
1st. The doc at the Family Clinic in my hospital told me I was going to miscarry due to some bleeding at week 6 and week 7. That was very encouraging.

This happened to me too. But by nurse midwives...I stopped seeing them and went to someone else.


----------



## Queen of my Castle

I was walking down the street from my car to a store, at 10 am with my baby in the sling, when a woman who was smoking outside of her building stopped me to scold me. 'Where's that baby's sunbonnet!??' Truthfully, I laughed and told her I had forgotten it at home, but I was only walking a few steps, mostly in the shade. She proceeded to berate me, saying 'do you have sunscreen on her, I sure hope you have sunscreen on her, she's just a baby!!' in a threatening, demeaning kind of way. Now, I didn't know what to say at this point, because I obviously didn't, but just looked at her cigarette and shaking hands thinking, 'uhhh do you KNOW about smoking???!!!'
wish I could think on my feet...
A


----------



## HappyFox05

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Queen of my Castle* 
I was walking down the street from my car to a store, at 10 am with my baby in the sling, when a woman who was smoking outside of her building stopped me to scold me. 'Where's that baby's sunbonnet!??' Truthfully, I laughed and told her I had forgotten it at home, but I was only walking a few steps, mostly in the shade. She proceeded to berate me, saying 'do you have sunscreen on her, I sure hope you have sunscreen on her, she's just a baby!!' in a threatening, demeaning kind of way. Now, I didn't know what to say at this point, because I obviously didn't, but just looked at her cigarette and shaking hands thinking, 'uhhh do you KNOW about smoking???!!!'
wish I could think on my feet...
A


Rofl!

1. Today, a guy at work told us to be careful driving a stick shift because it could cause the cord to end up around the baby's neck. I initially laughed & responded that it sounded like the thing about raising your arms over your head, but then I felt bad because I realized he was serious & was only trying to help.







(I don't know him very well.) I tried to repair the damage by being gentle & telling him I hadn't heard of that & would Google it.

2. The physician's assistant who gave me my positive pregnancy test results asked me what I do in the Army. I told him I'm a French horn player. He said something like, "Oh, I guess you won't be doing that much anymore, because of all the intra-abdominal pressure." Um, huh? I'm sure all those professional musicians out there who get pregnant just quit their jobs & go work at Wal-mart until the baby's born. I think I'll have to google that one too.


----------



## ewins24

The worst one I've gotten was when my 2nd DD was about 2 1/2 and OMGosh STILL nursing







. A lady who was in our play group starting asking about nursing and when I was going to wean and when I told her I was going to do child lead weaning she sd "Aren't you worried that it will turn her gay if she nursing for so long?"







: I asked her if she was serious and she sd "Yea, I'm worried about her being gay!" I sd to her I'm not worried at all b/c her nursing will not turn her gay and if she makes that choice it will be ok. She kept on and then I asked her if she was REALLY that stupid and walked away!


----------



## mommysusie

My FIL told me the other day that my new baby doesn't have bones yet. He swears he just has cartilidge.


----------



## triscuitsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommysusie* 
My FIL told me the other day that my new baby doesn't have bones yet. He swears he just has cartilidge.

I got told this by my best friend who is a toxicology major... she said she learned it in anatomy/psysiology.

What is the right answer???


----------



## minkajane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *triscuitsmom* 
I got told this by my best friend who is a toxicology major... she said she learned it in anatomy/psysiology.

What is the right answer???

I believe it's that babies have MORE bones than adults because some of them haven't fused yet, like the skull bones. In an adult, it's just the skull and jawbone. In a baby, there are several different plates that can overlap so the baby can fit through the birth canal (hence the conehead phenomenon). I know that baby bones are much softer than adult bones because they haven't fully hardened yet, but they are still bones.


----------



## vancouverlori

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommysusie* 
My FIL told me the other day that my new baby doesn't have bones yet. He swears he just has cartilidge.

actually it is mostly true. I remember this from anatomy/physiology and childbirth prep classes. It's not really cartilage, but it is mostly bone that hasn't finished calcifying - the body has to deposit a lot more calcium on the bones yet. In fact, one of the women on our tribe said that there was no point x-raying someone else's 4-month-old's hips for dysplasia b/c it wouldn't show up properly and to wait until after 6 months. She's a community health nurse (encouraging new moms with crunchy tendencies wherever she goes).

-Lori


----------



## Shenjall

When my ds was born preemie (10 weeks early) his little ears would fold all over the place. They were like a peice of fabric. The nurses said not to worry, his ears wouldnt stay like that.


----------



## treqi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *1Baby5Pups* 
The worst/dumbest thing said to me... in the forefront of my mind is a recent comment by my father. Sleep issues have been the biggest here. I made the mistake of mentioning that a trip to the chiropractor for our daughter had made a world of difference (slept through the night for the first time the night of the visit and for the next three nights). He hates chiropractors and went on a rant about it, denying that they have any worth at all. The kicker? "Just give her some warm milk and she'll sleep."

Really Dad? Because you had SOOO much involvement in raising me. Grr.

What does he think you feed her frozen cubes of milk wether its formula or breastmilk babies milk is generaly served warm.









Wow to your story that is just awesome of Josh's family and yours it warms my heart to hear of such caring.







:


----------



## RadiantMama

I read the posts every week...and it is a wonderful release at the end of a hard day being a Mom.

I am ASTOUNDED, SHOCKED AND APPALLED at the posts I have read...I just cannot believe that humans (particularly family members) can be so crass, rude, crude and cruel to women who have gone through the miracle of childbirth. Is it a cultural difference? Or just plain non-respect? I think it is good to open up dialogue, but sometime I think that some people should keep their opinions to themselves when observing childrearing, especially MIL!!!









Let's create a more accepting and supporting world for these mothers!!!


----------



## eunytuny

:

People are just soo...

Well I am holding my ds in a sling. He is 9 1/2 mo and - granted- he is off the charts when it comes to height and weight. It's 95% bm and 5% avocado, peaches and other fresh fruits and veggies. All the more reason to carry him in a sling because my arms can't take it for too long. So I go to a social gathering where everyone knows us. More than one person said "I bet you can't wait till he's walking" or "Why don't you make him walk" or "God gave him legs so he can walk".
There are just so many ways this chaps my butt. Yes...I can wait until he walks because I am not rushing him to grow up. Make him walk? How exactly do they think I should accomplish this? and I bet God was hoping children would be ready to use their legs before went from the womb to the outside world and just got up and walked.
What about when he actually is walking and wants to be held? The one guy told be about his nephew (who lived with him) who was a solid little baby. He said "There was no way I was carrying him around so I was always telling him -sorry bud you have legs -you better learn how to use them". The kid is now 15 and let's just say he is a bit cold and distant.


----------



## MilkTrance

My DH's co-worker told him that crying is good for the baby's lungs.

Co-workers daughters haven't spoken to him in years. So whatever, not exactly a source of great advice.


----------



## SaharaRose

A friend of my husband's family was talking to me about breastfeeding my then 7 month old baby. She is a mom of three & talked about breastfeeding in a very positive way, so I was interested in hearing what she had to say. She told me all these stories about BFing in front of people who were offended, ect, ect...really getting into it. Then she told me I was "almost done" with breastfeeding and should ween. I asked her when she had weened her three, and she then admitted that she had only breastfed ONE of her children for a total of NINE DAYS, and didn't BF the others at all.

She wanted me to wean so she could babysit, because she missed having a baby around. That was nice to offer, but...um...

I got the whole "she's going to be a spoiled brat if you don't let her cry" thing from my Grandma. Both her kids are spoiled & self centered. They both had horrible colic just like my DD did, but DD didn't have to face the colic alone. It might have hurt, but she was always in my arms or my husband's.


----------



## Onemagicmummy

finaly got to the end. whoo that was a long week or so.

anoterh bit of stupid advice i got when i was preg with DS2 (adn willmore than likely get again if i havent had this baby by time kids go back to school) is to get DH to go to chemist and buy some cod liver oil and drink it to bring on labour!! this from a woman who cant have kids and actualy went and got her Sil some cod liver oil to bring on labour!!! (not sure if she used it or not but still)

i was like err NOOOO that is so dangerous. i knew better and didnt even listen to her. if she mentions it again with this baby i am so gonna give her what for. after what happend to me and DS2 in his labour i am so not going to risk anything with this baby.

DS2 labour was not "bad" but it was very scary for a while as he had passed merconium in the waters.

i jsut know she is gonna mention it again when school goes back in 2 weeks ish if i had not had baby by then.
im already thinking of nice snappy things to say to her. im too nice i dont like to annoy/upset people so i normal jsut nod and smile and totaly ignore them

Kiz


----------



## beanbean

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Onemagicmummy* 
finaly got to the end. whoo that was a long week or so.

anoterh bit of stupid advice i got when i was preg with DS2 (adn willmore than likely get again if i havent had this baby by time kids go back to school) is to get DH to go to chemist and buy some cod liver oil and drink it to bring on labour!! this from a woman who cant have kids and actualy went and got her Sil some cod liver oil to bring on labour!!! (not sure if she used it or not but still)

i was like err NOOOO that is so dangerous. i knew better and didnt even listen to her. if she mentions it again with this baby i am so gonna give her what for. after what happend to me and DS2 in his labour i am so not going to risk anything with this baby.

Kiz

Cod liver oil doesn't induce labor -- it's actually really healthy for you to take during pregnancy. Are you thinking of Castor oil? That's sometimes used to induce.


----------



## Onemagicmummy

yes! castor oil! preggy brain not working today. thanks for the correction


----------



## RileysmamaNM

Wow some of these stories are shocking and really sad









Mine are the pretty typical ones "is he a good baby" "does he sleep through the night"

I also got.. when he was a couple months old and I had him in a sling some one came up to me and said "arnt you scarred hes going to fall?" like id put him in something that would harm him...

also around 2 months me and my DP were walking to the car someone stopped us to see the baby then told us we were brave to be out that early with the baby giving us that "oh you better be scarred" look.

"how long are you gonna breastfeed..."

"how long are you gonna let him sleep with you.."

Forever!! 









My OB when I made the switch to have a midwife and do a home birth was down right terrified like there was NO way it was possible or would go right. I went and saw her a couple weeks with my DP and DS for a check up on myself and mostly just to say hi, and she seemed so suprise that my labor went not only great but that it was easy. Like I was supernatural for being able to have a med free birth.

My dad wanted to watch the baby while I had to do something at the house I told him to just bring him back to me when hes hungry cause he will cry "he said thats okay I dont mind if he cries"

I hate when people say they are gonna "try" breastfeeding but if its too hard they will stop.... So something that you know is the best for you baby you will give up just because it was hard? I think most people should of just bought a mechanical baby instead of have one so much more low maintenance


----------



## Maggirayne

Wow, I'm working thru this thread, so great for when I can't type. My mom and MIL are both pretty great about the BF-ing, co-sleeping, my mom is onboard with the no-vaxing. I get compliments on my sling and Mei Tai, a funny, yesterday at the thrift store, a lady comes up and says to DD, 3 mo, "You're so cute and comfy in your little pouch!" So I've just wished someone would ask how long I'm nursing so I could say depends on the college, etc. DH would be mortified if I said something snarky tho'. *sigh*

So my two, which I've not seen so far, on page 90, yes, from the beginning, are from my dr.

On the vit K shot:
Me: Is the oral version available?
Dr: No, I've never heard of it. But they're so traumatized from being born, that it doesn't matter.

On circumcision:
Dr: Do you want to circumcise?
Me (having had done NO research, but what I did know was that on the 8th day after birth vit K is present in higher levels. (http://www.apologeticspress.org/articles/2204): Do you do it when they are 8 days old?
Dr: No, they're too strong then and wiggle too much.

Duh! Ya think! Anyhow, no-circing for us!

And a funny one:
At the library they were giving away little cups of ice cream, and the lady says "Oh, wouldn't you like some?" to DD facing out in my Mei Tai. I say, "She's too little--unless we made it out of mama's milk. The lady made an awful face and said, "Eewwww!" DH just looked at me and shook his head as we were walking away. I wasn't trying to make a huge point, I'm just very good at







(she was just making conversation, and I embarrassed her.)


----------



## umami_mommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RileysmamaNM* 
I hate when people say they are gonna "try" breastfeeding but if its too hard they will stop.... So something that you know is the best for you baby you will give up just because it was hard? I think most people should of just bought a mechanical baby instead of have one so much more low maintenance









just once i want to say "yeah, we were going to try a car seat, but it was just to hard, so we gave up. besides, we grew up just fine without them" when someone tell me how they just couldn't BF.


----------



## Orono Mom

MilkTrance said:


> My DH's co-worker told him that crying is good for the baby's lungs.QUOTE]
> 
> My grandmother had exactly the same advice! For some reason, she chose to pass all that "special wisdom" on to me when I was pregnant and not any of her other 8 grandkids.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> : Apparently in Gram's world, crying builds the baby's lungs... anyway, DD is just fine without the additional crying.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maggirayne* 
And a funny one:
At the library they were giving away little cups of ice cream, and the lady says "Oh, wouldn't you like some?" to DD facing out in my Mei Tai. I say, "She's too little--unless we made it out of mama's milk. The lady made an awful face and said, "Eewwww!" DH just looked at me and shook his head as we were walking away. I wasn't trying to make a huge point, I'm just very good at







(she was just making conversation, and I embarrassed her.)

Thing is, if breastfeeding were as much a part of our society as it should be, that would have been taken as just being a lighthearted way to let her know that your dd was a bit younger than she thought.

Goodness knows I can't judge the age of babies in the slightest.


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Orono Mom said:


> Quote:
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *MilkTrance*
> My DH's co-worker told him that crying is good for the baby's lungs.QUOTE]
> 
> My grandmother had exactly the same advice! For some reason, she chose to pass all that "special wisdom" on to me when I was pregnant and not any of her other 8 grandkids.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> : Apparently in Gram's world, crying builds the baby's lungs... anyway, DD is just fine without the additional crying.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> My husband told me that when A was crying almost non-stop her first month.
> 
> I told him that was just a copout so parents wouldn't feel responsible for caring for their kids or so they wouldn't feel guilty.
> 
> I always responded to A's cries, and I was crying right along with her (I had undiagnosed PPD). I told him I didn't know what to do, I didn't know how to make her stop crying. He said, just let her cry, it's good for her lungs. He said that so many times, one day I said fine, you want me to ignore our baby?! I put A in the bassinet in the living room where he was, and went up to the kitchen and cried and cried as A cried, maybe 3 minutes tops. It felt longer. Then I picked her up, snuggled and hugged her, apologized, and told him, Is that what you want me to be, a mom who ignores her baby's needs? I think that is what got to him. He finally realized ignoring a baby only makes it worse. I guess he just had to see it to realize how stupid an idea it was.


----------



## Ianthe

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Onemagicmummy* 
anoterh bit of stupid advice i got when i was preg with DS2 (adn willmore than likely get again if i havent had this baby by time kids go back to school) is to get DH to go to chemist and buy some cod liver oil and drink it to bring on labour!! this from a woman who cant have kids and actualy went and got her Sil some cod liver oil to bring on labour!!! (not sure if she used it or not but still)

i was like err NOOOO that is so dangerous. i knew better and didnt even listen to her. if she mentions it again with this baby i am so gonna give her what for. after what happend to me and DS2 in his labour i am so not going to risk anything with this baby.

DS2 labour was not "bad" but it was very scary for a while as he had passed merconium in the waters.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *Onemagicmummy* 
yes! castor oil! preggy brain not working today. thanks for the correction









I know your situation was a little different, but I took castor oil to induce and it worked perfectly.


----------



## Onemagicmummy

what annoyed me MORE was i explained the risks to this woman but she blatantaly ignored me and kept telling me about it over and over again(every single day of last 2 weeks of my pregnancy dS2 was 9 days early so i dread to think what she would of done had i gone over) even tho i made it clear to her i was in no way going to risk it(glad i didnt) and i just know full well she is gonna do it again, this woman is a parrot for repeating crap advice.

Kiz


----------



## Maggirayne

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
Thing is, if breastfeeding were as much a part of our society as it should be, that would have been taken as just being a lighthearted way to let her know that your dd was a bit younger than she thought.

Goodness knows I can't judge the age of babies in the slightest.

True!







Me neither, babies vary so much in size. My DD is not as big as some babies, but she has a TON of hair and looks very alert when she's awake. She's held her head up since she was pretty little (DH would fuss at me for not supporting her). So I reckon she does look older than 3 mos. But then people think nothing of giving little tiny babies cow's milk and bread, etc.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *honeybeedreams* 
just once i want to say "yeah, we were going to try a car seat, but it was just to hard, so we gave up. besides, we grew up just fine without them" when someone tell me how they just couldn't BF.









Me too!


----------



## steph117

It's really hard to believe some of the things you've all encountered/heard. It's astonishing to think how NERVY some of these people are.

I'm currently expecting, & I thought I'd share my two favorite comments that I've heard from work colleagues about being pregnant. (Not quite "parenting stuff" but sort of on-topic I hope!)

1. "Was it planned?" (I got that question from more than one person! And these are WORK acquaintances, not even close friends...why do people think this is appropriate? Do they actually think I'd tell them if it wasn't? Do they REALLY want to know?)

2. "That was fast!" (We got married in October last year - it doesn't seem that fast to me! Even if it was...um...RUDE!)

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised by these comments, considering that quite a few people I barely know at work starting asking after the wedding if we were trying. I'd kind of bug my eyes out, thinking, um, do you realize you're asking about my sex life? My stock answer was, "We'll let people know when there's something to tell." So now that there's something to tell, it's "Was it planned?" I tellya!









Someone else has probably posted similar comments in this thread somewhere (I think I did see another "was it planned") - I haven't gotten through the whole thread yet; it's been hours & I'm still on the low end!


----------



## ramlita

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LizzyQ* 
I know your situation was a little different, but I took castor oil to induce and it worked perfectly.

Glad to hear _someone_'s had a good experience with it!

I have two friends who used castor oil, and both of them suffered horribly with cramps and diarrhea for hours after taking it.

One of them went into labor and had her baby (while feeling horrible and constantly pooping)
and the other didn't even go into labor- she just got sick.









I guess as a last resort, it's not the worst inducer out there, but man... there are plenty of gentler ways to encourage labor. Homeopathy and acupuncture, for instance.


----------



## debbieh

Two things come to my mind....
First of all, when my ds was 7 months old, he bit me while nursing. Quite hard, causing a small whole in my nipple and bleeding. Everyone kept asking me if I had stopped nursing him, insisting that if he were old enough to bite me, he's old enough to have a bottle. I mean, come on....he did it on purpose, right?
And the second thing is "advice" my MIL gave me, in finding out that my son had bit me...."anytime a child bites, you should bite him back. That will let him know how it feels and he won't do it again"!!







:


----------



## velcromom

One from my own dh... he came home from work and asked me "Was the baby good today?" She's three weeks old.

I told him babies are always good.


----------



## umami_mommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *velcromom* 
One from my own dh... he came home from work and asked me "Was the baby good today?" She's three weeks old.

I told him babies are always good.

i told some nosy old biddy in the HFS "well last week we caught her passing bad checks. she's pretty naughty."


----------



## sanguine_speed

Quote:


Originally Posted by *honeybeedreams* 
just once i want to say "yeah, we were going to try a car seat, but it was just to hard, so we gave up. besides, we grew up just fine without them" when someone tell me how they just couldn't BF.

I realize breastfeeding is important. I would argue that sometimes it's not as important as a mother or baby's life or sanity. And yes, it CAN come down to that. If you can't understand it, you haven't been there.


----------



## Lady Lilya

My baby had type 4 tongue tie. Hard to diagnose, because the connection is way in the back. He was latching on fine, but not getting much out. I knew something was wrong because of the lack of dirty diapers.

Had I gone to a regular pedi, I would have been told I simply wasn't making enough milk. Luckily the one I saw was a tongue tie specialist. After hearing how common it is, and that it is usually not diagnosed, I wonder how many cases of "I can't BF" are due to that.


----------



## annamama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *honeybeedreams* 
just once i want to say "yeah, we were going to try a car seat, but it was just to hard, so we gave up. besides, we grew up just fine without them" when someone tell me how they just couldn't BF.









: Honestly, you shouldn't dream of saying things like that.
If you had said that to me when I finally gave up what was a long held dream of BFing, you would have shattered me.
If you haven't tried and been unsuccessful, you shouldn't be so quick to judge people who weren't as fortunate as you. Walk a mile in someone else's shoes and all that.


----------



## triscuitsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annamama* 







: Honestly, you shouldn't dream of saying things like that.
If you had said that to me when I finally gave up what was a long held dream of BFing, you would have shattered me.
If you haven't tried and been unsuccessful, you shouldn't be so quick to judge people who weren't as fortunate as you. Walk a mile in someone else's shoes and all that.

*hugs* Mama... I am sorry for all you went through.

However... your case is not what she made reference to. You wanted to, you tried... and some Mom/baby pairs really cannot breastfeed, she wasn't saying they couldn't.

She was talking about those first time pregnant Moms who view it like an option they are thinking about doing. They havn't tried... they just don't view breastfeeding as important enough to "do" instead of "try". I think probably most of the Moms here on MDC say I am going to breastfeed... it's just what one does. Of course there are rare cases when it doesn't work for either Mom or baby (or both)... but she was refering to those who have never even tried, not those who have given it their all and it hasn't worked. Totally different cases IMO.

*hugs* once again...


----------



## umami_mommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annamama* 







: Honestly, you shouldn't dream of saying things like that.
If you had said that to me when I finally gave up what was a long held dream of BFing, you would have shattered me.
If you haven't tried and been unsuccessful, you shouldn't be so quick to judge people who weren't as fortunate as you. Walk a mile in someone else's shoes and all that.

yup, triscuitsmom is right. i wasn't in anyway refering to someone like you. i was refering to people who come up to me when i am nursing my son and telling me why they couldn't nurse their baby after trying for 24 hours.. or saying it was just too hard and besides "we grew up fine with formula."

i'm not judging anyone, i'm responding to people who feel the need to defend their use of formula to me when i'm just sitting there feeding my son.


----------



## umami_mommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sanguine_speed* 
I realize breastfeeding is important. I would argue that sometimes it's not as important as a mother or baby's life or sanity. And yes, it CAN come down to that. If you can't understand it, you haven't been there.


i went through multiple severe issues trying to breastfeed both of my children. i cried on the phone with many people, my MW, my LLL leader, my lactation consultant, my GFs. i had shallow latch, blistered nipples, engorgment (with blood coming out of my nipples), extreme pain and sorness (i have fibro which cause BF-ing to be severely painful), nipple vasospasm, low supply and a few others i can't remember anymore. i spent 100's of dollars on a hospital grade pump, lacation consultants and specialists. i totally understand. however, with the right kind of help almost all women can nurse. (i exclusely breastfed both my children despite severe issues) only about 1-2% can't. however, only about 72% of women breastfeed at birth and only 16% are still nursing at 6 months.

the point of my post was a response to people who voluntarily approach me when they see me nursing to explain to me why they thought nursing was too hard for them.

since nursing is not the norm (as car seats are), i thought i'd provide a nice contrast to popular thinking about what is best for baby.


----------



## triscuitsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sanguine_speed* 
I realize breastfeeding is important. I would argue that sometimes it's not as important as a mother or baby's life or sanity. And yes, it CAN come down to that. If you can't understand it, you haven't been there.

OK again... noone once said that all mother-baby teams can successfully breastfeed. Sometimes (it's relatively speaking rare) it just does not work for whatever reason. Of course...

But considering that using formula in *most* cases hurts both babe AND mother physically and emotionally it's not worth justifying as normal. It is the exception... it should not be the rule.

For those who can't breastfeed, since we don't have adequate donor milk (and even if we did for some cases) formula can be lifesaving. That still doesn't make it the norm... and the OP was only frustrated that some people see it as such.


----------



## Kateana

When my SIL, pg with her 1st, was asked (not by me -- I knew the answer) whether she would FF or BF, she said FF... because "I nannied, and that's what I'm used to."







: As if anyone would expect her to have experience BFing! And, of course, they will circ (I prayed they'd have a girl, so they wouldn't mutilate), and all the usual mainstream stuff.


----------



## Keren

When I got pregnant, My parents were less than pleased. I was a single, young mom. I got it the worst from my step-mom, though.

"This baby is going to change your life."
"You realize you can't party anymore" (I have only ever been to my family's birthday parties)

A response to "NAK"
"Eww. I don't need to know that. Do I tell you when I am going to the bathroom? I don't need to know about your bodily functions."

Or when my sister got her son circ
"I just cried and cried. I couldn't watch, but I knew I had to."

Me: "Why did you have to?"

"Because I had to. (My Sister's husband) said so."

In response to Co-sleeping

"Don't you guys (BMD)?" (yeah. there are other rooms in the apartment, though.)

"Aren't you afraid of rolling over onto her?"

Or my favorite when mothers choose to FF

"it's just so much easier!"
So, waking up in the middle of the night and making a bottle, testing it, then feeding it to her is easier than rolling over and flopping your breast out?


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Keren* 
A response to "NAK"
"Eww. I don't need to know that. Do I tell you when I am going to the bathroom? I don't need to know about your bodily functions."

In response to Co-sleeping
"Don't you guys (BMD)?" (yeah. there are other rooms in the apartment, though.)

I'm not sure exactly what BMD means, but in this context I think you're referring to marital relations.

So, I quoted those two comments because isn't it hypocritical.
On the one hand, breastfeeding (bodily funcion) is ew.
On the other hand sex (bodily function) is something she asks about.

Ironic and hypocritical.


----------



## Gendenwitha

Quote:


Originally Posted by *steph117* 
1. "Was it planned?" (I got that question from more than one person! And these are WORK acquaintances, not even close friends...why do people think this is appropriate? Do they actually think I'd tell them if it wasn't? Do they REALLY want to know?)

I got that all the time because of the spacing. I tell them, "well, yes and no--we'd been trying for about a year... but the month we bought the fewest lottery tickets was the month we won!"

But if I really thought they were rude for asking, I could always be more specific.... How many shades of red would they turn if you started telling them "well dh pulled out a little late, but we didn't think it was at my fertile time so we thought we were okay, I tried douching with vinegar afterwards just in case, but we were planning for it pretty soon anyway, so you know sometimes you get really horny and you just don't care? One time like that we even did it... " etc etc.


----------



## melodyka

when i told my mom how excited i was after my baby sign language class, she said to me-"don't cry to me when your baby never learns to talk"







:


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Yeah my dad thinks that is why A doesn't speak as much as he and my mom think she should be.
They blame it on the fact that I taught her baby sign language.
Yet they think S talks more (she doesn't) because I haven't taught her as many different signs as I taught A.







:


----------



## LaurenB

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Gendenwitha* 
I got that all the time because of the spacing. I tell them, "well, yes and no--we'd been trying for about a year... but the month we bought the fewest lottery tickets was the month we won!"

But if I really thought they were rude for asking, I could always be more specific.... How many shades of red would they turn if you started telling them "well dh pulled out a little late, but we didn't think it was at my fertile time so we thought we were okay, I tried douching with vinegar afterwards just in case, but we were planning for it pretty soon anyway, so you know sometimes you get really horny and you just don't care? One time like that we even did it... " etc etc.
























I think I love you.


----------



## silverspook

Ok, I've gotten the typical CIO, rice bottle, anti-CD stuff, but I think this might be the worst I've gotten so far. When DS was about 2 weeks old, my grandmother, whom I love dearly, met him. She asked if he was circ'd and when I told her no, she FREAKED OUT and told me that he wouldn't be able to pee or _"perform"_ w/out being circ'd!!! I just had to







!

FTR, my whole family is VERY pro-circ. I think DS is the first intact male in my mother's, father's and my husband's families for several generations! So it's been quite an uphill battle to keep the "pee-pee butchers" at bay, but soooo worth it!


----------



## transformed

You need to control your kids! I have no comeback to that.


----------



## Shenjall

Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 
You need to control your kids! I have no comeback to that.

You need to control your rudeness? Is that a good comeback?


----------



## elmh23

Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 
You need to control your kids! I have no comeback to that.

MIL told us that when ds was only 6 days old, FIRST time she met him! But it was about my 2 year old who had just had a very new thing come into her life, was feeling unsure and was crabby when they came over cause she had just woken up from a nap (she is the worst person to be around when she's still sleepy but awake!) Dh told his mom that she needed to control her mouth. Haven't heard anything else about it and he's 6 months old so that's good (and we see them at least once a week.)


----------



## carriebft

"Don't tickle her feet, she will get a lisp" - a friend

"Taking babies out on a windy day gives them gas" - my grandmother


----------



## NewMama2007

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Keren* 
Or my favorite when mothers choose to FF

"it's just so much easier!"
So, waking up in the middle of the night and making a bottle, testing it, then feeding it to her is easier than rolling over and flopping your breast out?


----------



## Dov'sMom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NewMama2007* 
"it's just so much easier!"
So, waking up in the middle of the night and making a bottle, testing it, then feeding it to her is easier than rolling over and flopping your breast out?

Actually, yes.

I solely breastfed my now 9-month old until I got pregnant and my milk largely (not entirely) dried up. How do I know it dried up? Well, he would nurse and nurse and nurse, pulling off periodically to cry and despite his many hours at the breast he was only making 2-3 wet diapers a day. So my milk was drying up, and I started him on formula in addition to nursing. Well let me tell you, even though I had no latch problems, no thrush, no nipple discomfort, giving him bottles at night was sooo much better for me than nursing. First of all, DH could get up and make the bottle. Second, I didn't have to lie still on my side, which is very uncomfortable for me, for as long as it took DS to nurse. I could lie on my back, or even (gasp!) move around while he drank his bottle, which, incidentally, was much shorter than nursing even before my milk started to dry up, and go back to sleep after a reasonably short time. Making a bottle is really not all that complicated. Our water is always at the right temperature. I pour water into a bottle, scoop in some formula, shake it up and that's it. It takes less than 30 seconds all told.

Which is, of course, not to say that I'd FF over BFing any day. DS still nurses for what comfort it gives him, and I hope he'll tandem when I give birth. But I'm sick and tired of hearing people talk about FFing as if it's the most idiotic thing in the world. Given the health benefits of BM, maybe it is, but a lot of people trust the establishment. To say they're just too stupid to realize how much work they're making for themselves is silly. Breastfeeding with problems can take serious time. Bottle feeding doesn't.


----------



## AlpineMama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dov'sMom* 
Which is, of course, not to say that I'd FF over BFing any day. DS still nurses for what comfort it gives him, and I hope he'll tandem when I give birth. But I'm sick and tired of hearing people talk about FFing as if it's the most idiotic thing in the world.

I agree, FF is pretty easy. I wish I could have a BF relationship with my son, NO DOUBT ABOUT IT. And of course I do believe it can boost intelligence and definitely add health benefits. But I agree, put the water in the bottle, add a few scoops, shake, and voila. Even when you go somewhere, take a bottle of water and a Ziplock bag of scooped formula, and it's almost as quick as "pulling out a boob" and I dare say it might even be easier because you don't have to worry about what ignorant prude is going to tell you off for not going into a restroom to give your child lunch.

I think that's the worst advice I've been given, that I couldn't be a good enough mother if I couldn't BF, that I just didn't love my son enough etc. That FF makes sickly babies prone to digestive problems and it's such a hassle etc etc... Had I been able to physically BF, I most certainly would have. I'm still hoping to with the next little one, and maybe even get them to tandem nurse once in a while. But people who say that FF is the devil, and stress out the already guilted-out new momma... that's sad.

I was the BIGGEST BF advocate during my pg, had full-out fights with my MIL about it ("but I didn't BF my son and he turned out fine" stuff). Maybe it was meant to be that I'd be humbled a little bit by being forced to FF.

I'm getting off my soap box now.














I hope I didn't offend anyone.


----------



## happymammaof3

Oh wow, these are great, and sad, and depressing and hilarious at the same time! I'm amazed at other people's rudeness and boldness and...well...I'll leave it at that!! I have so many pages to read through yet but wanted to add a couple of my own....

I'm currently pg with #4 and I have a niece that just had her second child and they are close together. We hear stories all the time from MIL about some of my niece's "challenging" days. She keeps asking me, "Are you ready for this? It's going to be a lot of work! You see what Amanda (my niece) is going through trying to keep up!" Ummm..... this is my 4th chlid??!! Been there done that! She continues to say stuff and offer advice and my oldest is 14! I think I know what I'm doing and what to expect, but thanks!!

My mother... "Are you doing that 'natural birth' stuff again?"
Me: "Yes, I sure am."
Mom: "Doesn't it hurt?"
Me: "Yes"
Mom: "Well, I guess you must have your reasons."

I was at a garage sale just this summer and was holding my 18 month old who spotted the dog of the person having the garage sale. She loves dogs so she cried when they put it in the house. The lady came over to me and said to my daughter, "Oh, I'll take you inside so you can see the doggie," and tried to TAKE HER OUT OF MY ARMS!! I pulled away and say, "No, that's okay, thanks." She continued to try two more times and I finally said very loudly, "NO, SHE'S NOT GOING IN YOUR HOUSE!" She looked at me shocked and said, "Well, I don't blame you, especially nowadays." She was cool about it, but, DUH??? What was she thinking?? She acted a little awkward after that. I think she realized she was being... um... less than smart. (careful of my wording here!)

An older female co-worker of my husband's: "You shouldn't talk baby talk to your baby or she'll never learn to talk right." (my dd was only a few weeks old at the time)
Me: Well, I have always talked baby talk to my babies and as you can see, my 14 and 11 year old are brilliant and talk just fine.
Co-Worker: Silence

It amazes me how I can be having my 4th child and people STILL act as if I don't know what I'm doing and offer their expert parenting advice. It truly floors me!!

And of course being pg with #4 almost always begs the question from others, "Was this planned? Are you done?" It is SO not anybody's business!! People are so rude. Oh, and I love this one... "Wow, are you crazy? You're a glutten for punishment!" To which I say, "Actually, children are a blessing from God, not a punishment and we are enjoying them immensely, but thanks for your concern."


----------



## transformed

Quote:


Originally Posted by *carriebft* 

"Taking babies out on a windy day gives them gas" - my grandmother

That could actually be true-we get gas from swallowing air, it causes us to burp and fart.

It sounds funny though....I wouldnt write that one off completley though! (But I dont think I would stay inside just to avoid farting....







)

Jenny


----------



## triscuitsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dov'sMom* 
Actually, yes.

I solely breastfed my now 9-month old until I got pregnant and my milk largely (not entirely) dried up. How do I know it dried up? Well, he would nurse and nurse and nurse, pulling off periodically to cry and despite his many hours at the breast he was only making 2-3 wet diapers a day. So my milk was drying up, and I started him on formula in addition to nursing. Well let me tell you, even though I had no latch problems, no thrush, no nipple discomfort, giving him bottles at night was sooo much better for me than nursing. First of all, DH could get up and make the bottle. Second, I didn't have to lie still on my side, which is very uncomfortable for me, for as long as it took DS to nurse. I could lie on my back, or even (gasp!) move around while he drank his bottle, which, incidentally, was much shorter than nursing even before my milk started to dry up, and go back to sleep after a reasonably short time. Making a bottle is really not all that complicated. Our water is always at the right temperature. I pour water into a bottle, scoop in some formula, shake it up and that's it. It takes less than 30 seconds all told.

Which is, of course, not to say that I'd FF over BFing any day. DS still nurses for what comfort it gives him, and I hope he'll tandem when I give birth. But I'm sick and tired of hearing people talk about FFing as if it's the most idiotic thing in the world. Given the health benefits of BM, maybe it is, but a lot of people trust the establishment. To say they're just too stupid to realize how much work they're making for themselves is silly. Breastfeeding with problems can take serious time. Bottle feeding doesn't.

Well considering powdered formula is not sterile... and the only way to ensure that there are not organisms in it that could injure or kill the baby drinking it is to boil the water, slightly cool, mix, and then cool rapidly to body temperature... I'd definitely say that takes more time than the best case scenario of rolling over and pulling a boob out (which I agree not everyone can do)...

As a single parent, noone is feeding my baby but me... and many of my non-single parent friends say it's not worth it to have their partners feed the baby because they are up anyway. I'll agree different people will feel differently about this... but either way, somebody is feeding the baby and even in a perfect ideal situation making it as safe as possible for baby, and as convenient as possible for parents (in that order), it's still not as easy or safe as breastfeeding is in an ideal picture, which I think is what the point of the statement was.


----------



## Dov'sMom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *triscuitsmom* 
Well considering powdered formula is not sterile... and the only way to ensure that there are not organisms in it that could injure or kill the baby drinking it is to boil the water, slightly cool, mix, and then cool rapidly to body temperature... I'd definitely say that takes more time than the best case scenario of rolling over and pulling a boob out (which I agree not everyone can do)...

As a single parent, noone is feeding my baby but me... and many of my non-single parent friends say it's not worth it to have their partners feed the baby because they are up anyway. I'll agree different people will feel differently about this... but either way, somebody is feeding the baby and even in a perfect ideal situation making it as safe as possible for baby, and as convenient as possible for parents (in that order), it's still not as easy or safe as breastfeeding is in an ideal picture, which I think is what the point of the statement was.

Actually, if one did sterilize water for formula, it would NOT be because the formula was not sterile, but rather because the water wasn't. Adding no longer boiling water to non-sterile formula would not sterilize the formula. The reason it is recommended to sterilize the water is because some areas do not really have safe water, but as I do not sterilize the water with which I rinse his fruits, I don't sterilize DS's formula water either. Of course, if I did, it wouldn't be very hard to boil up a few gallons at a time and use as needed, which is what we did for everyone's consumption when we lived in a place where the water wasn't totally safe.

It's true, I agree with you that breastfeeding can be easier than formula, but formula can be easier than breastfeeding too, and not just where there are latch or supply issues. Any mother who works will tell you it is MUCH easier to have a caretaker give the baby formula than to pump and freeze -- or if she doesn't, I'll bet it's because she hasn't tried the formula option. Because I have very wide hips and am not comfortable lying on my side, I personally find giving a bottle at night to be much easier on my rest than breastfeeding (although we mostly nurse at night anyway because DS prefers it that way).

Making snarky comments about how complicated formula is distracts from the real reasons to breastfeed, which are health-related. The point of the comment had nothing to do with safety - it was all about the bother of formula.


----------



## triscuitsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dov'sMom* 
Actually, if one did sterilize water for formula, it would NOT be because the formula was not sterile, but rather because the water wasn't. Adding no longer boiling water to non-sterile formula would not sterilize the formula. The reason it is recommended to sterilize the water is because some areas do not really have safe water, but as I do not sterilize the water with which I rinse his fruits, I don't sterilize DS's formula water either. Of course, if I did, it wouldn't be very hard to boil up a few gallons at a time and use as needed, which is what we did for everyone's consumption when we lived in a place where the water wasn't totally safe.

I never said it still wasn't boiling... I said cooled slightly. Exact temp between 158-194F. Still waaay hot enough to kill bacteria/viruses. Powdered formula is not sterile, and babies have and are dying... which is why the World Health Organization, not me, made the guidelines for how to use it safely. Which include doing what I said in my OP.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dov'sMom* 
It's true, I agree with you that breastfeeding can be easier than formula, but formula can be easier than breastfeeding too, and not just where there are latch or supply issues. Any mother who works will tell you it is MUCH easier to have a caretaker give the baby formula than to pump and freeze -- or if she doesn't, I'll bet it's because she hasn't tried the formula option. Because I have very wide hips and am not comfortable lying on my side, I personally find giving a bottle at night to be much easier on my rest than breastfeeding (although we mostly nurse at night anyway because DS prefers it that way).

As someone who had latch issues, thrush, and a whole host of other issues in the beginning including pumping, cup feeding, nursing repeat with almost no sleep... It was still easier FOR ME then formula. Just as there are lots of angles to approach why formula would be easier there are for breastfeeding too. And I will agree that it's individual how one views it...

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dov'sMom* 
Making snarky comments about how complicated formula is distracts from the real reasons to breastfeed, which are health-related. The point of the comment had nothing to do with safety - it was all about the bother of formula.

Some are health related... some aren't. For someone who has an easy time breastfeeding (and lots of mothers do, at least some/most of the time)... it gets frustrating when someone says that formula is easier before even trying breastfeeding since you can't know if it will be easier or not beforehand... It is definitely possible I read more into the OP than was intended, but that was what I was agreeing with... Not when someone who has been through the wringer with breastfeeding says that formula would be easier for them (whether they use it or not).


----------



## HappyFox05

Quote:


Originally Posted by *happymammaof3* 
An older female co-worker of my husband's: "You shouldn't talk baby talk to your baby or she'll never learn to *talk right*." (my dd was only a few weeks old at the time)

(emphasis mine)

Assuming these are her actual words, is anyone else chuckling at the irony?


----------



## angrypixiemama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dov'sMom* 
Actually, if one did sterilize water for formula, it would NOT be because the formula was not sterile, but rather because the water wasn't. Adding no longer boiling water to non-sterile formula would not sterilize the formula. The reason it is recommended to sterilize the water is because some areas do not really have safe water, but as I do not sterilize the water with which I rinse his fruits, I don't sterilize DS's formula water either. Of course, if I did, it wouldn't be very hard to boil up a few gallons at a time and use as needed, which is what we did for everyone's consumption when we lived in a place where the water wasn't totally safe.

It's true, I agree with you that breastfeeding can be easier than formula, but formula can be easier than breastfeeding too, and not just where there are latch or supply issues. Any mother who works will tell you it is MUCH easier to have a caretaker give the baby formula than to pump and freeze -- or if she doesn't, I'll bet it's because she hasn't tried the formula option. Because I have very wide hips and am not comfortable lying on my side, I personally find giving a bottle at night to be much easier on my rest than breastfeeding (although we mostly nurse at night anyway because DS prefers it that way).

Making snarky comments about how complicated formula is distracts from the real reasons to breastfeed, which are health-related. The point of the comment had nothing to do with safety - it was all about the bother of formula.

As a mother who does pump and freeze, or pump, then panic about if it will be used in time to leave it in the fridge or move it to the freezer, I can attest to the concept of it possibly being easier to do formula. A mom who had her baby a week after I did breezes out of work much earlier than I do, because I stay late to make up for the time I spend pumping. I am dedicated to pumping, and I love being able to pump and provide breastmilk for my baby. But there is no way I would say it is easier to do that than it would be to leave my sitter with formula. The water issue can be removed (if you are trusting enough) by buying the liquid formula, which is what another mom does. I agree with Dov's mom in that there are many important health benefits to breastfeeding, and I always try to stress those to people over ease when I talk about it.


----------



## CorasMama

Can we get back OT, pleeeease? I know I'm not the only one who subs to this thread to have something funny to read. This is supposed to be a light-hearted/vent thread, not a BF/FF debate thread.

I, myself, will return with some doozies from my future MIL, once I've calmed down about it long enough to think about the incident long enough to type it, without raising my bp through the roof... For now, it sufficeth to say that at least I know AHEAD of time that she will never be allowed to babysit...


----------



## happymammaof3

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HappyFox05* 
(emphasis mine)

Assuming these are her actual words, is anyone else chuckling at the irony?









Yes, those were her actual words!

I forgot this doozy... I remembered it on another thread and thought I'd share it here. This was a lady at my church no less.

Lady: After you have this one.... it's "snip, snip" for you!! (I assume she meant my dh.

Me: Completely dumfounded and silent. I just stared at her. How do you respond to that?


----------



## Onemagicmummy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *happymammaof3* 







Yes, those were her actual words!

I forgot this doozy... I remembered it on another thread and thought I'd share it here. This was a lady at my church no less.

Lady: After you have this one.... it's "snip, snip" for you!! (I assume she meant my dh.

Me: Completely dumfounded and silent. I just stared at her. How do you respond to that?


id probably say somthing like "oh yea i cant wait to get a nice haircut thanks for reminding me, ill make sure i get booked in for a post baby pampering session"

i have had this kind of comment aimed at my DH off my mother so many times. im getting the feeling she has meantioned it at least 4 times since i had DD (2nd child) and get more emphatic about it each baby later adn will not take no for an answer. she even said to me one day to get an apointment made for DH. DH was not here at the time so i jsut ignored her. he refuses, i dont mind, he is only 24.

Mum seems to think me having kids=me throwing my life away. Never mind that i am happy with my life!!! oh no kids=failure.


----------



## angrypixiemama

FIL finally called DH after not talking to us/returning calls for a month. DH was feeding DD peas, and FIL said, "Oh, good. You are finally feeding her real food." DH said, "We've always fed her real food. Breastmilk is real food." FIL then replied, "Yeah, but now she will really grow."







: Apparently going from 8 lbs 2 oz at birth to 17 lbs isn't "really growing".

Also, the ladies at our church got together to have someone take care of DD during the service, so that I can participate. I told them, "Thank you, but I do participate, by sitting with my daughter." They are slightly offended, but she is 9 months old! I am not handing her off to people I barely know.


----------



## sanguine_speed

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Keren* 
Or my favorite when mothers choose to FF

"it's just so much easier!"
So, waking up in the middle of the night and making a bottle, testing it, then feeding it to her is easier than rolling over and flopping your breast out?

Wow, I wish breastfeeding was as easy as rolling over and flopping my breast out.


----------



## Dov'sMom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CorasMama* 
Can we get back OT, pleeeease? I know I'm not the only one who subs to this thread to have something funny to read. This is supposed to be a light-hearted/vent thread, not a BF/FF debate thread.


I don't think I shared this with this thread yet, though it's possible -- I remember typing it out somewhere when it happened.

When I finally realized I was pregnant with number 2, I had no idea how far along I was because I'd only had one period since giving birth to number 1 (then 6 months old). So I called the ob/gyn who had seen me for my second trimester last pregnancy (long story -- I moved around a lot and was just moving back to that city) to schedule an ultrasound to find out how far along I was. While she was on the phone, I asked if there was anything I should keep in mind having two so close together or with being both pregnant and nursing.

Doc: You'll have to wean DS, of course.
Me: Why?
Doc: Well, most women find it painful to nurse when they're pregnant.
Me: But I don't.
Doc: Well, but won't you want to nurse the new one?
Me:









As if one couldn't nurse two babies at once! And even if one couldn't nurse two at once, I *had just found out I was pregnant!* So I had at least 6 or 8 months before I was expecting another...why would I wean my six-month-old then?


----------



## beanbean

I could spend hours typing up all of my MIL's gems (the only coherent one I can think of is "Breastmilk isn't nutritious after 6 months" - the rest are just total off the wall crazy talk! BTW, I corrected her gently on that one and she got quite sullen for the rest of the week.) but tonight, visiting us and our 1 mo old for the first time, she said "I just can't believe you don't look all haggard!"

Gee, thanks.

And before baby was born, "You know, you and DH have such a great marriage and having 3 children is so hard ... I'm really hoping your marriage doesn't completely fall apart when the baby is born!"

Again, gee, thanks!

MIL has had 2 children and rarely took care of them both at the same time.

I love how people who've never had children or have had 2 max feel they have a special license to tell me how awful it is to have 3.

BTW, having 3 is awesome!


----------



## sparklett

When I was pregnant and planning a natural birth in a free-standing birth center my SHOCKED and horrified sister-in-law asked, "do they have a NICU"?


----------



## AllisonR

Quote:


Originally Posted by *happymammaof3* 
This was a lady at my church no less.

Lady: After you have this one.... it's "snip, snip" for you!! (I assume she meant my dh.

Me: Completely dumfounded and silent. I just stared at her. How do you respond to that?

I had a planned homebirth for my second child.
My mom: Are you going to get your tubes tied? They can do it at the same time.

Me: Completely dumfounded and silent.

?? the same time as what? A homebirth? What, the midwife cuts me open when I get out of the birthing tub, or what? Maybe I give birth, then rush into the hospital and have them do surgery on me to tie my tubes?

And anyway, who said I wanted my tubes tied?


----------



## Rainbow2911

Quote:


Originally Posted by *beanbean* 
BTW, having 3 is awesome!









I agree!









I get "you have your hands full" all the time. Sigh. I tend to just say that yes I do and it is wonderfull - or something along those lines. The other day I was walking home from the local shop with ds1 and dd walking in front of me holding hands and ds2 on my back. I had a small shopping bag to hold. A lady was smiling at the two kids walking together (they were looking very angelic for once!) and said to me that I had my hands full. I don't think that I'd had my caffiene fix that morning as I looked blankly at my shopping bag... "erm..... oh right, the kids!"
Not really something dumb someone said to me - more my dumb responce!

I have had a LOT of comments from my mum about starting solids with ds2. Every since he was about 2 months old







: ! I've heard a lot of "oh poor baby, she is so cruel not giving you any".







Thankfully my fabulous Grandad (who is very AP, into baby led weaning and extended breastfeeding







) ticked her off for it when ds2 was about 5 months old! Nice to get some support from a family member for once!


----------



## KC in KS

I've been subscribed to this thread for literally YEARS (since I was pregnant with DD, now nearly three!







: ) It's been a little slice of humor in my inbox nearly every day since then, and I *finally* have something of my own to add! Two things, actually.

From FIL - this is actually something of a common refrain for him - he gets impatient when he's trying to hold a conversation with me or DH and the kids interrupt. "They just need to learn to wait!"







DH has been very good about telling him they're too young to wait more than a minute or so, but it just hasn't sunk it. Last week, they got into it a bit about it, and FIL said "well, you and your sister knew to wait!" Dear, dear MIL jumped in and reminded him "You weren't home enough when our kids were little to know what they were like!"









From my dad - DS is just a year old. When visiting the other week, Dad saw DS bopping along to some music - doing hand claps and bobbing his head in that enthusiastic-but-uncontrolled way babies have. Dad was apparently impressing with DS's musical talent and insisted I need to get him in music classes right away. Uh, what can they teach him when his vocabulary is limited to things like eat, dog, and kisses?


----------



## AlpineMama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Rainbow2911* 
The other day I was walking home from the local shop with ds1 and dd walking in front of me holding hands and ds2 on my back. I had a small shopping bag to hold. A lady was smiling at the two kids walking together (they were looking very angelic for once!) and said to me that I had my hands full. I don't think that I'd had my caffiene fix that morning as I looked blankly at my shopping bag... "erm..... oh right, the kids!"


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## Harmony96

Ruth mentioned "having hands full" and that reminded me of another one.

Whenever I go shopping, I wear DD, usually on my back. This of course brings a lot of comments, usually stuff like "Oh, she's so cute up there!" etc. But occasionally people will say "Oh, you have your hands full!" ? I have ONE baby, she's tied onto me so both my hands are FREE, and you think I have them full?







Never mind the fact that even if I weren't wearing her, she is one of the mildest babies I know and so she wouldn't be any trouble then, either.


----------



## Shenjall

I have stories to add, but I think I may have posted them already!







:


----------



## turnipmama

Like many of you, I am also being given a hard time for not giving my DD (only 4 mo!) solids. This gem was from my mother...

"Its very frustrating being a grandmother and not being able to give your grandchild something to eat!"

Sorry, mom, I thought it was about raising my DD the best way I know how, I had no idea it was all about YOU.


----------



## hippiemum21580

At church last week a sweet older lady was eyeing my newborn. She made a comment about how much hair he had (he has a headful, and has from birth!) and then said "well, it will thin out once his head gets bigger....."
I had no response. Though I did think "WTF??? Is THAT how it works? " LOL


----------



## Dov'sMom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hippiemum21580* 
At church last week a sweet older lady was eyeing my newborn. She made a comment about how much hair he had (he has a headful, and has from birth!) and then said "well, it will thin out once his head gets bigger....."
I had no response. Though I did think "WTF??? Is THAT how it works? " LOL

Hm. Fact is, on that one she's partly right. Newborn hair is usually (not always, of course) dead at birth, killed by the surge of hormones during labor. Therefore, it mostly falls out, and it takes 4-6 months for new hair to grow. So in the months before new hair grows in, the hair now on your baby's head would thin a little as it covers more area.

HOWEVER, I doubt that slight process is what she was talking about.


----------



## pjlioness

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dov'sMom* 
Newborn hair is usually (not always, of course) dead at birth, killed by the surge of hormones during labor.









Ok, that's one to add to the "wierd facts" list. The hair that my ds's had at birth fell out starting at 5mo when their new hair was coming in. Does that mean it wasn't dead, or just that it hung on?


----------



## triscuitsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pjlioness* 







Ok, that's one to add to the "wierd facts" list. The hair that my ds's had at birth fell out starting at 5mo when their new hair was coming in. Does that mean it wasn't dead, or just that it hung on?

Isn't all hair dead??? I'm confused


----------



## Harmony96

Quote:


Originally Posted by *triscuitsmom* 
Isn't all hair dead??? I'm confused









Yeah b/c if it were alive then nobody would want a haircut b/c of the pain involved.









But in all seriousness, DD was one of those babies who had a full head of hair at birth, too. Hers happened to be very dark. It never fell out, but instead started to grow right away. The new growth was pale blond, and even now at almost 9 months you can still see her dark tips, so it looks like she has highlights.


----------



## Kat_shoshin

My Mother: "Can I please just give him some - he is so hot!"

Me: "He is 4 months old and his first food will not be orange creamscicle!!!"

Then we took him to the pool for a cool off... My mother loves him dearly - but she is crazy!


----------



## mummyc

My mother today - "put her down, else she can't learn to roll over." This is after DD has been rolling over in both directions all weekend for her to see!







:


----------



## ThreeBeans

Oh my, newborn hair isn't 'killed by hormone surges in labor'









All hair is dead. The hair on my newborn's head is dead, the hair on MY head is dead. Hair, by definition, is dead. It's the same stuff your fingernails are made out of. Which, incidentally, are ALSO dead.


----------



## Lady Lilya

I think it would be more technically accurate to say the follicles are killed by the hormone surge. It still takes time for each individual hair to fall out.


----------



## AlpineMama

Newborn hair loss is perfectly normal and nothing to worry about. Babies often lose their hair during the first six months. This kind of hair loss is called telogen effluvium.

Here's why it happens: Hair has a growth stage and a resting stage. The growth stage lasts about three years, and the resting stage lasts about three months (although anywhere from one to six months is normal). During the resting stage, the hair remains in the follicle until the new hair starts coming in.

About 5 to 15 percent of hair on the scalp is usually in the resting phase at any one time, but stress, fever, or a hormonal change can cause a large number of hairs to stop growing all at once. The shedding begins when the next growth stage starts up about three months later.

A newborn's hormone levels drop right after birth, which can cause him to lose the hair he was born with. (New moms often lose large amounts of hair for the same reason.)

Parents are sometimes surprised to discover that when a baby grows a new head of hair it's a completely different color and texture than what he was born with. BabyCenter reader Julie's son Will was born with a full head of thick black hair. "He looked just like Elvis - he even had sideburns," she says. "Both my husband and I are blond, and we wondered where the dark hair came from. Almost immediately after birth, though, it started falling out. The hair that replaced it is a beautiful wheat color."

http://www.babycenter.com/0_hair-los...nfo%40393dacfc


----------



## mum4boys

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dov'sMom* 
Hm. Fact is, on that one she's partly right. Newborn hair is usually (not always, of course) dead at birth, killed by the surge of hormones during labor. Therefore, it mostly falls out, and it takes 4-6 months for new hair to grow. So in the months before new hair grows in, the hair now on your baby's head would thin a little as it covers more area.

HOWEVER, I doubt that slight process is what she was talking about.


Really???

I have 5 kids all born with a ton of hair at birth and none of them have lost their hair, new hair grew in. They all started out jet black and all but this one ended up toe heads.


----------



## AlpineMama

I myself lost a ton of hair after having DS, to the point where I have bald patches. My mother didn't lose any after having me. I assume it's the same for babies; hormones affect us all differently. Some get linea negras, some stretch marks, some neither. Oh, last pg my nails did not grow at ALL for months and I couldn't figure out what those pg women were talking about who got long pretty nails while pg. Well, this time around, I have claws like you wouldn't believe!







Hormones are funny.


----------



## funkygranolamama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ginger6366* 
Since she was the head nurse, I couldn't even complain to her supervisor. And WHERE did she look it up?

"Idiots for dummies"


----------



## Dov'sMom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *truemists* 
Newborn hair loss is perfectly normal and nothing to worry about. Babies often lose their hair during the first six months. This kind of hair loss is called telogen effluvium.

Here's why it happens: Hair has a growth stage and a resting stage. The growth stage lasts about three years, and the resting stage lasts about three months (although anywhere from one to six months is normal). During the resting stage, the hair remains in the follicle until the new hair starts coming in.

About 5 to 15 percent of hair on the scalp is usually in the resting phase at any one time, but stress, fever, or a hormonal change can cause a large number of hairs to stop growing all at once. The shedding begins when the next growth stage starts up about three months later.

A newborn's hormone levels drop right after birth, which can cause him to lose the hair he was born with. (New moms often lose large amounts of hair for the same reason.)

Parents are sometimes surprised to discover that when a baby grows a new head of hair it's a completely different color and texture than what he was born with. BabyCenter reader Julie's son Will was born with a full head of thick black hair. "He looked just like Elvis - he even had sideburns," she says. "Both my husband and I are blond, and we wondered where the dark hair came from. Almost immediately after birth, though, it started falling out. The hair that replaced it is a beautiful wheat color."

http://www.babycenter.com/0_hair-los...nfo%40393dacfc

Yes, when I said the hair was "dead," I meant the follicles had stopped growing the hairs. The same as when hair naturally falls out of anyone's head. The resting phase can be anywhere between 3 and 6 months; mine, I know, is 4 months because I regularly lose a lot of hair four months after getting a fever. Most hair is "alive" as in "growing" -- most newborn hair is "dead" or not growing and just waiting to fall out.

I still think it's the hormone surge just before birth that does it, but I suppose the "drop right after birth" is essentially the same thing.

Okay, okay, I promise -- no more lengthly debates on this thread.









I'll try to find something funny to make up for this post.


----------



## Kylad

I mentioned to our neighbor that My ds was going through a growth spurt at three moths and that he was Constantly eating, she told me I needed to start feeding him formula with a cup of baby rice cereal in it every four hours, to get him to stop eating so much.
I looked at her like she was crazy and told her that my ds and I had worked hard to get to this point I wasn't going to screw it up now ( we really had a hard time in the beginning,) She just went on and on about it until I just had to politely excuse myself (in other words I lied to get away from her)

the nurse at my ds ped also told me that I needed to stop sleeping with my baby that he would learn to fall asleep in his crib if I taught him how. What She acted like I was just to lazy to put the effort into getting him to sleep.
I was so offended I didn't say any thing though, I wish I had but we never went back there again.


----------



## HappyFox05

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kylad* 
I mentioned to our neighbor that My ds was going through a growth spurt at three moths and that he was Constantly eating, she told me I needed to start feeding him formula with a cup of baby rice cereal in it every four hours, to get him to stop eating so much.


Yeah, because that's what we want babies to do - stop eating so much during their growth spurts. How dare they grow! Rofl!


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AllisonR* 
I had a planned homebirth for my second child.
My mom: Are you going to get your tubes tied? They can do it at the same time.

Me: Completely dumfounded and silent.

?? the same time as what? A homebirth? What, the midwife cuts me open when I get out of the birthing tub, or what? Maybe I give birth, then rush into the hospital and have them do surgery on me to tie my tubes?

And anyway, who said I wanted my tubes tied?









You should have told her "Actually, that would be totally illegal." With a bit of careful phrasing you could keep her going on thinking you're talking about during c-sections. "it would be an unauthorized surgical procedure that no medical board in the country would condone"


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KC in KS* 
Uh, what can they teach him when his vocabulary is limited to things like eat, dog, and kisses?









Really really confusing beat poetry?


----------



## In Exile

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 







You should have told her "Actually, that would be totally illegal." With a bit of careful phrasing you could keep her going on thinking you're talking about during c-sections. "it would be an unauthorized surgical procedure that no medical board in the country would condone"










Seriously, with all the made-up crap people try to scare us- it would be kind of fun to confuse the naysayers just a little tiny bit.

Hey, I got the weirdest reactions if you just turn tables. "So what is it going to be?? (gender)- with the utmost Paris Hilton sway: A Baby!







:

"Well, my SIL let her baby cry it out and it worked"- Act totally weirded out, disgusted and surprised, don't defend you're not doing that, just act totally surprised anyone does it.


----------



## Rhi

I took a college class when my son was 4 months old. Everyone in the class knew I had a son and was getting no sleep at all.
One day a girl came in looking "tired" and said "Now I know what you were talking about when you said it was so hard having a kid." I asked her if she was around a baby or watched someone's kid. "Oh no", she says, "even harder, I got a puppy and he's the kind you can't even leave alone for like 5 hours!! It is so hard!! He woke me up at 8AM!"
I said oh ya, my baby's the kind that can't even be left alone for 5 minutes..the agony....
My teacher was laughing so hard!
Good luck to her future kids!! HAHA


----------



## loriforeman

i've heard all kiiiiinds of stuff.

wind causes ear infections.

exposure to cold temperature, even for a minute, causes colds.

the flu can be prevented by staying inside for recess.

babies need cereal, even at two weeks old.

it's okay to give your newborn table foods, if YOU CHEW THEM FIRST. (blech)

nursing a child is silly when you have medically made formula.

babies need to sleep on their stomach, or they'll choke on their vomit.

you shouldn't change a diaper at night, you'll wake the kid up all the way.

you shouldn't feed a child at night, they'll fall back asleep after crying a bit.

cry it out.

the only way to teach them something would hurt is to slap their hand.

you'll suffocate the baby if you sleep with her. (okay, to give them credit...george's girlfriend's baby died this way. of course, she was blasted on drugs.)

you'll never get them out of your bed if you let them in.

you can tell what gender the baby is by how you carry (had all girls, carried all four completely differently).

cats suck baby breath. (i was actually threatened with CPS because i allowed a kitten to enter my THREE-year-old's room.)

nursing while pregnant could kill the fetus.

all babies should wear shoes, to "train" their feet.

feed a cold, starve a fever.

the silliest might have been that if i raised my hands over my head...that my kid might tangle in her cord and die.


----------



## MilkTrance

Quote:

One day a girl came in looking "tired" and said "Now I know what you were talking about when you said it was so hard having a kid." I asked her if she was around a baby or watched someone's kid. "Oh no", she says, "even harder, I got a puppy and he's the kind you can't even leave alone for like 5 hours!! It is so hard!! He woke me up at 8AM!"
My friend said she understood what it was like to have a baby because she just got a cat and it wanted to play at night.

Well, it's probably not _exactly_ the same, she says.

Although I will expose myself: when I was quitting work to become a SAHM, before I had DS, I wondered aloud what I was going to do with "all my free time."


----------



## treqi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dov'sMom* 
Hm. Fact is, on that one she's partly right. Newborn hair is usually (not always, of course) dead at birth, killed by the surge of hormones during labor. Therefore, it mostly falls out, and it takes 4-6 months for new hair to grow. So in the months before new hair grows in, the hair now on your baby's head would thin a little as it covers more area.

HOWEVER, I doubt that slight process is what she was talking about.

That is not true of my dd she was born with thick brown hair and its just kept growing now a 1yo she has *curly* hair past her shoulders.


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## russsk

I'm about 15 weeks now with our first. It's been a wonderful experience so far, but I am really tired and my hips bother me a lot. Well, a woman I know from my second job (I work a normal, full-time job as well as a weekend job to save extra cash) asked me how I was feeling and how dh was "dealing with it." I replied that dh is just wonderful, he's very sensitive to how tired I am and he has been taking care of all the housework and making dinner so I can rest after work. This woman - who has no kids - then practically exploded at me that I really have no excuse to be so tired and that she worked with a woman who worked a full-time job at 8 months.

I was too shocked to respond with much more than a stare of wonderment.

Well, I guess I should tell my hormones to suck it up and shut my mouth, right? Will I finally be allowed to take a nap when I am 8 mos and working two jobs?


----------



## pjlioness

Quote:


Originally Posted by *russsk* 
I'm about 15 weeks now with our first. It's been a wonderful experience so far, but I am really tired and my hips bother me a lot. Well, a woman I know from my second job (I work a normal, full-time job as well as a weekend job to save extra cash) asked me how I was feeling and how dh was "dealing with it." I replied that dh is just wonderful, he's very sensitive to how tired I am and he has been taking care of all the housework and making dinner so I can rest after work. This woman - who has no kids - then practically exploded at me that I really have no excuse to be so tired and that she worked with a woman who worked a full-time job at 8 months.

I was too shocked to respond with much more than a stare of wonderment.

Well, I guess I should tell my hormones to suck it up and shut my mouth, right? Will I finally be allowed to take a nap when I am 8 mos and working two jobs?

I get the feeling, somehow, that she thinks/knows that her husband may not be the type who would do what yours is doing, and what she really wanted was a chance to B&TCH about hers after you complained about yours.


----------



## pjlioness

Here's an idea: tell the people with puppies and kittens to magnify what they are going through at least ten times and then they might be nearing what you are going through.


----------



## LiLStar

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pjlioness* 
Here's an idea: tell the people with puppies and kittens to magnify what they are going through at least ten times and then they might be nearing what you are going through.









lol, when dd was about 2 weeks old, I would have happily traded in my cat for a 2nd newborn!!! she's prone to stress and then quits eating/drinking. throws up everywhere, gets dehydrated, and needs iv or sub q fluids and syringe feedings until she gets over it and eats again. so while I was recovering from a c-section, after dh went back to work and my mom went back home, I have this baby who needs to be fed around the clock, diapered, and held constantly, and this cat who i need to force feed and give medicine to at about the same intervals! I figured 2 newborns would be easier than a newborn and that dang cat. I just spend WAY too much time digging up a list I made:
Why I think having two babies would be easier than having 1 baby+my cat. I'm only half joking. Or maybe 1/4 joking.

1. two babies can be fed simultaneously
2. babies actually like to eat and won't fight it
3. baby spit up is way less nasty and way easier to clean up than cat throw up
4. insurance pays for the baby's doctor appointments
5. babies stay where you put them, and would NEVER hide under the bed
6. two babies can be cuddled at the same time, cats and babies need to be kept separate
7. baby food takes no preparation
8. babies stay hydrated without shoving a needle under their skin

of course.. once kitty recovered..baby+cat is WAY easier than 2 babies would be


----------



## Harmony96

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LiLStar* 
5. babies stay where you put them, and would NEVER hide under the bed

I dunno... mine just might hide under the bed.







She's already "hidden" under the couch and under the pack'n'play. (She's better at backing up than going forward and got herself into those situations. lol)

On topic - I went to the store today in search of a map. While there, I perused the fabric section in search of some fabric for DD's Halloween costume. I was just carrying DD instead of wearing her since it was to be a quick trip w/ just one item. I had the diaper bag over my other shoulder. DD wasn't being rowdy or lively or anything, but one of the fabric ladies was like "You look like you need a buggy." I didn't realize she was talking to me at first. I guess she thought that DD was such a "burden" on my arms that it would be easier to do my shopping if she were just sitting in a shopping cart.


----------



## triscuitsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Harmony96* 
I dunno... mine just might hide under the bed.







She's already "hidden" under the couch and under the pack'n'play. (She's better at backing up than going forward and got herself into those situations. lol)

On topic - I went to the store today in search of a map. While there, I perused the fabric section in search of some fabric for DD's Halloween costume. I was just carrying DD instead of wearing her since it was to be a quick trip w/ just one item. I had the diaper bag over my other shoulder. DD wasn't being rowdy or lively or anything, but one of the fabric ladies was like "You look like you need a buggy." I didn't realize she was talking to me at first. I guess she thought that DD was such a "burden" on my arms that it would be easier to do my shopping if she were just sitting in a shopping cart.

OMGosh that is such cute hair on her!!!!!! I love it





















:


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Harmony96 said:


> I dunno... mine just might hide under the bed.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> She's already "hidden" under the couch and under the pack'n'play. (She's better at backing up than going forward and got herself into those situations. lol)
> 
> 
> 
> My youngest daughter had a habit of getting stuck behind the entertainment center.
> 
> But then, maybe she couldn't be termed as a newborn baby, because she was already crawling and scooting.
> That's different from what I think LilStar was talking about.
Click to expand...


----------



## Harmony96

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Abi's Mom* 
But then, maybe she coudln't be termed as a newborn baby, because she was already crawling and scooting.
That's different from what I think LilStar was talking about.

Oh yeah, my bad. I apparently skimmed LilStar's post, going straight to the list and ignoring the paragraph.


----------



## russsk

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pjlioness* 
I get the feeling, somehow, that she thinks/knows that her husband may not be the type who would do what yours is doing, and what she really wanted was a chance to B&TCH about hers after you complained about yours.









Ha! That's one thing no one will hear from me - dh has been wonderful so far. As for this woman, she's not married at all and has said that she never wants to have kids. I can respect that choice, but from someone newly pregnant for the first time - If you have never experienced pregnancy before you've got no place criticizing a pregnant woman for taking a nap!


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Harmony96* 
Oh yeah, my bad. I apparently skimmed LilStar's post, going straight to the list and ignoring the paragraph.









Aargh, you quoted my typo.


----------



## Shenjall

I have one from waaaay back when I was 19 and pregnant with my first. I was the first in my group in my group of friends to get pregnant. I was horribly sick those first 4 months and tired so of course, going out wasnt on the top of my list. When I started to feel better and enter the outside world again, my friends wanted me to go to the bar with them. A loud, smokey bar. When I said no, I was told, "you know, you're just using your pregnancy as an exuse not to come out with us".
Yeah, that must be it.







:


----------



## Kylad

When I was about six months pregnant I was always tired and I still had morning sickness, though only when I was awake lol, I became really dehydrated because I couldn't keep any thing down, and my FIL who was also my boss at the time wanted me to take the bus to work. The bus stop closest to work was two miles away. He told me he thought i was over reacting a bit and basically said though not in these exact words, that I was faking and fired me. I don't think he believed me until I ended up in the hospital the next day, though he still didn't give me my job back. Though granted I had no desire to work at the time.


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## heathenmom

Your FIL fired you when you were pregnant and so sick you had to be hospitalized? Damn. That's cold.


----------



## LiLStar

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Harmony96* 
I dunno... mine just might hide under the bed.







She's already "hidden" under the couch and under the pack'n'play. (She's better at backing up than going forward and got herself into those situations. lol)

Awww!! That is too cute!!


----------



## umami_mommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Harmony96* 
I dunno... mine just might hide under the bed.







She's already "hidden" under the couch and under the pack'n'play. (She's better at backing up than going forward and got herself into those situations. lol)


what a photo that is, the one under the couch, with her tongue sticking out! and look at all that hair. i'm so jealous. DD has a bit of fuzz.









many babies learn to go backwards before forwards.....


----------



## umami_mommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kylad* 
... that I was faking and fired me.

wow, you don't still talk to him do you??


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *loriforeman* 
i've heard all kiiiiinds of stuff.

wind causes ear infections.

exposure to cold temperature, even for a minute, causes colds.

the flu can be prevented by staying inside for recess.

babies need cereal, even at two weeks old.

it's okay to give your newborn table foods, if YOU CHEW THEM FIRST. (blech)

nursing a child is silly when you have medically made formula.

babies need to sleep on their stomach, or they'll choke on their vomit.

you shouldn't change a diaper at night, you'll wake the kid up all the way.

you shouldn't feed a child at night, they'll fall back asleep after crying a bit.

cry it out.

the only way to teach them something would hurt is to slap their hand.

you'll suffocate the baby if you sleep with her. (okay, to give them credit...george's girlfriend's baby died this way. of course, she was blasted on drugs.)

you'll never get them out of your bed if you let them in.

you can tell what gender the baby is by how you carry (had all girls, carried all four completely differently).

cats suck baby breath. (i was actually threatened with CPS because i allowed a kitten to enter my THREE-year-old's room.)

nursing while pregnant could kill the fetus.

all babies should wear shoes, to "train" their feet.

feed a cold, starve a fever.

the silliest might have been that if i raised my hands over my head...that my kid might tangle in her cord and die.

Are you actually an MDC-grandmama in her 60's who's sharing tales of how bad things were back in the '50s? If you're not, could you lie and say you are so I don't have to have nightmares about people nowadays spewing such BS?


----------



## Arwyn

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
Are you actually an MDC-grandmama in her 60's who's sharing tales of how bad things were back in the '50s? If you're not, could you lie and say you are so I don't have to have nightmares about people nowadays spewing such BS?


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kylad* 
When I was about six months pregnant I was always tired and I still had morning sickness, though only when I was awake lol, I became really dehydrated because I couldn't keep any thing down, and my FIL who was also my boss at the time wanted me to take the bus to work. The bus stop closest to work was two miles away. He told me he thought i was over reacting a bit and basically said though not in these exact words, that I was faking and fired me. I don't think he believed me until I ended up in the hospital the next day, though he still didn't give me my job back. Though granted I had no desire to work at the time.

See, this why one should never work for family. Any other employer you could've sued for wrongful termination with no problem.


----------



## wsgrl84

I think I've gotten like all of these comments. Ok I might be exaggerating there.

But I have gotten a lot of the same ones. I think it's part of being a mom, always having older people judge you. It sucks that I get these comments almost everyday just because I am a young mom and apparently I don't know how to raise my kids.

Argh! Just aggravates me.


----------



## loriforeman

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
Are you actually an MDC-grandmama in her 60's who's sharing tales of how bad things were back in the '50s? If you're not, could you lie and say you are so I don't have to have nightmares about people nowadays spewing such BS?

ha, i wish.

this isn't everything...just what came off the top of my head.

half of these are from my littlest child's grandmother. the same woman who bought me wine and beer...to help with my morning sickness.

the same woman who advised me to bundle up my feverish child to "sweat" out her fever.

gah, people these days!


----------



## sunnymw

On the pets thing... when Dh and I got pg, we got a dog because we love dogs, and to "help" us prepare for parenthood, since neither of us had any practical experience. FWIW, in the first six months of the dog's a baby's lives, the DOG was easier. Then again, he was a boxer... those of you who know, know...

dog poo smells a million times worse than baby poo, and in the first few months, it's *everywhere*... no diapers

and one time, my boxer ate a dead bird, and then threw it up half-digested on the floor. So, to me, half-digested-half-decomposed vomit bird (still identifiable) is MUCH MUCH MUCH worse than BM spitup









But after six months? Yeah, the dog's totally easier! But still more expensive


----------



## Lady Lilya

You never have to consider euthanising your baby.

There is a limit to how much we would pay for medical treatment for our cats. And, it also depends on how their condition would be after. If the treatment would get them back to perfect and self sufficient, great. But if they are going to need help for basic things like going to the bathroom, if they aren't going to be able to go outside and play (their lives revolve around this), if they are going to need frequent treatments (like IV fluids that a PP described) we wouldn't spend thousands of dollars to keep them alive.

Every time my old cat is sick and we go to a vet, my biggest fear is that we will have to have her put to sleep.

With a baby, there is no question that we would do everything in our power to make him as well as possible. We don't ever have to feel that same fear.


----------



## threadbey

one of dh's relatives came for a visit when ds was not quite 3 weeks old. she was holding him and he started getting a little fussy. i spoke to him, "are we getting a little hungry, maybe?" her reaction - keep holding him. when i repeated myself, she said:

*"oh g--! are you feeding on demand?? i couldn't stand that!"*

i was in total shock. was VERY pleased with my quick-thinking staying-polite immediate post-partum self when it only took me a few seconds to come up with a reply:

"ha! well, i couldn't stand the crying!"

oh, but there's more - her response to that: *"oh, they learn!"*








: i know her (adult) children. so sad.


----------



## ramlita

Quote:


Originally Posted by *loriforeman* 
cats suck baby breath. (i was actually threatened with CPS because i allowed a kitten to enter my THREE-year-old's room.)









Too bad this person didn't try it- they'd have gotten laughed off the phone. (Hopefully- you never know, I guess







: )

On c-sections and tubal ligation:
I think you can do them together if it's all planned out ahead of time. It's only illegal for them to suggest the tubal _while_ you're having an unscheduled c-section.


----------



## transformed

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sunnymw* 
On the pets thing... when Dh and I got pg, we got a dog because we love dogs, and to "help" us prepare for parenthood, since neither of us had any practical experience. FWIW, in the first six months of the dog's a baby's lives, the DOG was easier. Then again, he was a boxer... those of you who know, know...

dog poo smells a million times worse than baby poo, and in the first few months, it's *everywhere*... no diapers

and one time, my boxer ate a dead bird, and then threw it up half-digested on the floor. So, to me, half-digested-half-decomposed vomit bird (still identifiable) is MUCH MUCH MUCH worse than BM spitup









But after six months? Yeah, the dog's totally easier! But still more expensive









I am not a dog person....but I want to get one for my kids later on---anyways, my parents just got a puppy and I dont even want to go over to their house anymore! OMG it is soooooo much work and so annoying! (He's really cute, but its like getting a 2 year old!)

I think I will be getting an older dog, like a year old or so, rather than an 8 week old. Its so hyper!







:


----------



## ThreeBeans

N/M, just going to report the U/A violation.


----------



## kathan12904

A lot of these are hilarious and shocking. Its amazing how people show of their ignorance with such authority and pride.
After doulaing a woman and helping her with bfing at a pp visit, her friends and she discussed bfing and someone said , "People who bf pas 2 years are messed up. Thats like child abuse."
Our fist child was a girl and we worked really hard not to genderize her artificially with clothes and toys and when she was not yet two a relative said, "If you keep doing that, you'll turn her into a lesbian."
Another distant relative upon seeing the baby for the first time when she was a few months old had brought a gift because she figured she had missed the baby's "christening." When I informed her that she hadn't had one and we weren't planning on it ever, she spit on her finger and tried to baptize her saying, "You mean that if something happened to that baby you'd let her go to the dark purgatory."
Whew.
Its amazing that anybody turns out normal with these attitudes.


----------



## kluella

I'm only 12 weeks and have been already getting oh-so-helpful advice. My mother keeps telling me she has 'nipple toughening' excercises for me to do. My grandmother keeps telling me not to eat too much (um,hello, I have eaten almost nothing for the past 6 weeks). She gave me a bag of veggies and a week later wanted to give me more. I told her I hadn't used the ones she gave me and I got a lecture on eating right. I was like, lady, I have had no energy and I'll be darned if I have to think of something creative to do with 3lbs of zuchinni. I eat veggies, they're just all canned and frozen lately because it's easy. Between her and my father I feel like I might as well be a child, the way they lecture me on eating right. I do!

Also, my MIL's comments about what a godsend pacis are. Well, her children were adopted and so couldn't get their soothing from the breast. Thankfully my other family members are on the same page with me on them.

And gma also wants to buy us a 'travel system'. When I explained that I wanted to babywear and not use a mondo stroller, she rolled her eyes at me and said 'well you'll change your mind on that right away."


----------



## AlpineMama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kluella* 
And gma also wants to buy us a 'travel system'. When I explained that I wanted to babywear and not use a mondo stroller, she rolled her eyes at me and said 'well you'll change your mind on that right away."

Yeah right. We have a GREAT travel system, TWO actually, both gifts... and we've used them exactly... zero times in five months. I do love my collection of slings though.


----------



## Katielady

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kathan12904* 
Another distant relative upon seeing the baby for the first time when she was a few months old had brought a gift because she figured she had missed the baby's "christening." When I informed her that she hadn't had one and we weren't planning on it ever, she spit on her finger and tried to baptize her saying, "You mean that if something happened to that baby you'd let her go to the dark purgatory."
Whew.
Its amazing that anybody turns out normal with these attitudes.

WHAT? OMG, I would have been livid! I can't understand it when people have such rigid views on religion, let along try to impose them on others.

And also, if her god does exist, wouldn't he strike her with lightning or something for impersonating a priest?









Ditto to the clothes thing too. I had moms in an old playgroup (that I've since dropped) totally aghast when I said I'd let my son wear purple. They're in for a lot of surprises as parents if they think that's something to get all worked up about. It sure is hard to find non-gendered clothes, though! I keep meaning to make up some t-shirts using those make-your-own iron on things for DS. Especially now that he's a toddler, it's so hard to find any Ts that don't say "Daddy's All-Star" or "Bad to the Bone."


----------



## In Exile

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Katielady* 
WHAT? OMG, I would have been livid! I can't understand it when people have such rigid views on religion, let along try to impose them on others.

And also, if her god does exist, wouldn't he strike her with lightning or something for impersonating a priest?









Ditto to the clothes thing too. I had moms in an old playgroup (that I've since dropped) totally aghast when I said I'd let my son wear purple. They're in for a lot of surprises as parents if they think that's something to get all worked up about. It sure is hard to find non-gendered clothes, though! I keep meaning to make up some t-shirts using those make-your-own iron on things for DS. Especially now that he's a toddler, it's so hard to find any Ts that don't say "Daddy's All-Star" or "Bad to the Bone."










Acutally, catholic catechism says that anybody, even not baptized themselves, can baptize another. All that is needed is water, the right words and intent- et voila, you MIL could baptize...so watch out...


----------



## Katielady

Quote:


Originally Posted by *In Exile* 
Acutally, catholic catechism says that anybody, even not baptized themselves, can baptize another. All that is needed is water, the right words and intent- et voila, you MIL could baptize...so watch out...









OMG, I think I accidentlly baptized my son this morning when I used some spit to wipe dried egg off his forehead.


----------



## minkajane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Katielady* 
OMG, I think I accidentlly baptized my son this morning when I used some spit to wipe dried egg off his forehead.


----------



## elmh23

Don't worry unless while you were wiping hte egg off you said "In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit" and did the sign of the cross.


----------



## hippiemum21580

My soon to be ex husband has a 3 month old baby with his GF and they were telling me they were planning on starting him on oatmeal ASAP cuz he was "eating too much" (he is FF) when I asked how they knew he was eating too much they said he would guzzle a full 8 ounces until his tummy was bloated and rock hard and then fuss and act as if he was uncomfortable. He also spits up liek CRAZY. I could not wrap my head around the logic that a baby who ate this way needed to be stuffed full of oatmeal????
I tried to explain about lactose sensitivity and how maybe they could try a soy based formula but she acted pretty much like I was a moron. Oh okay, I have 4 kids and you've been a mom for 12 weeks, you MUST know more than me. Sorry.
Its just odd the things new moms do that are so highly illogical if you think about it. I know I made a few doozies back with my first! This one just goes hand in hand with all teh people recently who have been telling me my 2 month old ought to have rice cereal as I feed him on demand and that can mean feedings every hour or so. They look at me like I am crazy when I say I will wait as lonmg as he wants even if it menas he doesnt have solids at 4 or 6 months. And that when we do begin, avacado will be his first food, NOT rice cereal. (gasp!)


----------



## threadbey

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kluella* 
I'm only 12 weeks and have been already getting oh-so-helpful advice. My mother keeps telling me she has 'nipple toughening' excercises for me to do...









: my mil kept mentioning (towards the end) that she hoped someone had told me that i need to rub my nipples with a washcloth to toughen them up... sigh. she had some other gems, too, but i can't remember them right now...

oh, i know... she was trying to commiserate about pumping (sweet, i know







: ) and said, "oh, whenever i was pumping i would sit there thinking, 'i can't believe i went to COLLEGE for this!'"

i just smiled (in a strained sort of way), since, yes, she was trying to be nice. but, seriously, i kind of wish i'd said, "oh, yeah, i TOTALLY know what you mean - every morning when i have to poo i think, 'gee, i went to COLLEGE for this!?'"

like going to college is supposed to free us from any kind of physical reality of our bodies???? i don't know. i think i'm having a hard time getting across what bugged me about the comment. but it did bug me.

oh, and she told me in utter seriousness that "studies" have shown that having children permanently lowers your iq! i said that was funny because i was pretty sure i'd just read an article that said becoming parents made both moms and dads smarter by some measure or other. she said oh, no, it definitely lowers your iq. PERMANENTLY.


----------



## mummyc

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kathan12904* 
A lot of these are hilarious and shocking. Its amazing how people show of their ignorance with such authority and pride.
After doulaing a woman and helping her with bfing at a pp visit, her friends and she discussed bfing and someone said , "People who bf pas 2 years are messed up. Thats like child abuse."
Our fist child was a girl and we worked really hard not to genderize her artificially with clothes and toys and when she was not yet two a relative said, "If you keep doing that, you'll turn her into a lesbian."
Another distant relative upon seeing the baby for the first time when she was a few months old had brought a gift because she figured she had missed the baby's "christening." When I informed her that she hadn't had one and we weren't planning on it ever, she spit on her finger and tried to baptize her saying, "You mean that if something happened to that baby you'd let her go to the dark purgatory."
Whew.
Its amazing that anybody turns out normal with these attitudes.


Next time she says such a thing, maybe she should check to see whether that's even in the Bible (it ain't!)







:


----------



## User101

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Katielady* 
OMG, I think I accidentlly baptized my son this morning when I used some spit to wipe dried egg off his forehead.


----------



## eastmillcreekmama

Wow, pumpkinseed, I'm shocked!!!!!!

My favorite was the lady at our little country general store, an older woman, mind you, who when she saw my little babe's infant acne, which covered her whole face and body (I got LOTS of comments about it), said that when her son was a baby, her doctor told her her baby was ALLERGIC to her own BREASTMILK when he had a rash like that! Can you believe that one? So she quit breastfeeding?!







I could hardly believe she could believe that, but hey, those poor momma's in the 40's and 50's didn't have the support options we do, eh? Has anyone else ever heard of this?


----------



## Harmony96

Quote:


Originally Posted by *truemists* 
Yeah right. We have a GREAT travel system, TWO actually, both gifts... and we've used them exactly... zero times in five months. I do love my collection of slings though.









Same here... I have a tiny stash of babywearing things, and DD's almost 9 months old. Her travel system stroller (and the umbrella stroller) have been used zero times.

But a funny comment about the carriers I have. I visited my mom recently and we planned to go to the mall, and she wanted to know if I wanted her to pack one of the strollers. I told her no, that I'd just put her in the carrier. Mom was like "are you SURE?" It wasn't until I was tying DD on that she fessed up and said she forgot that I wear DD and thought that by "carrier" I meant her carseat.


----------



## Katielady

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Harmony96* 
Same here... I have a tiny stash of babywearing things, and DD's almost 9 months old. Her travel system stroller (and the umbrella stroller) have been used zero times.

But a funny comment about the carriers I have. I visited my mom recently and we planned to go to the mall, and she wanted to know if I wanted her to pack one of the strollers. I told her no, that I'd just put her in the carrier. Mom was like "are you SURE?" It wasn't until I was tying DD on that she fessed up and said she forgot that I wear DD and thought that by "carrier" I meant her carseat.









It's not that far-fetched that she thought that though. I see people lugging babies around in car seat "buckets" all the time. I want to run up to each of them and have them try on one of my slings! Not only better for baby, but so much comfier for mama!


----------



## ~PurityLake~

The problem with carriers, for me, is my physical size and large breasts. I still use them, sometimes, but I also overheat when babywearing. I must have some kind of built in furnace that other people don't have.


----------



## St. Margaret

Try wearing on the back!







I've got the Boobs that Ate New York and can get warm in certain carriers but others work great (on the front so far for me and the lil one).

Lovin' the comments! Sadly my circle is so crunchy I havenone to offer... yet!


----------



## Harmony96

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Katielady* 
It's not that far-fetched that she thought that though. I see people lugging babies around in car seat "buckets" all the time. I want to run up to each of them and have them try on one of my slings! Not only better for baby, but so much comfier for mama!









Yeah, I know... but I've been wearing DD since birth so my mom of all people should have remembered.


----------



## sothisislove

What does it mean to be crunchy?


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ramlita* 
On c-sections and tubal ligation:
I think you can do them together if it's all planned out ahead of time. It's only illegal for them to suggest the tubal _while_ you're having an unscheduled c-section.

Yes, I know that.

However, the person in question was having a homebirth.

I was saying that she could pretend to go along with her mom's crazy idea that she was going to have a c-section and trick her mom into thinking that it was illegal to do a tubal as part of a c-section. Never actually saying that, but lying by inference and omission.


----------



## St. Margaret

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sothisislove* 
What does it mean to be crunchy?

crunchy granola, so like hippie, holistic, natural


----------



## AllisonR

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kathan12904* 
After doulaing a woman and helping her with bfing at a pp visit, her friends and she discussed bfing and someone said , "People who bf pas 2 years are messed up. Thats like child abuse."

I've heard exactly the same from several mainstream mommas. One never bf, one bf a couple of months, then rushed to solids at 4 months, then complained about all the work it was to always have to have solid foods for her DS when they went out.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kathan12904* 
Another distant relative upon seeing the baby for the first time when she was a few months old had brought a gift because she figured she had missed the baby's "christening." When I informed her that she hadn't had one and we weren't planning on it ever, she spit on her finger and tried to baptize her saying, "You mean that if something happened to that baby you'd let her go to the dark purgatory."
Whew.
Its amazing that anybody turns out normal with these attitudes.

The Roman Catholic Church is re-considering their stance on pergatory (which was invented in the 12 century). Here today, gone tomorrow.

Both DH and I are athiests, so my family didn't ask when the christening / baptism was. They were bummed about it though. So I told my mom and sister (Roman Catholic) that another religion (Baptist?) said that it didn't matter if a priest was present or not; if two or more believers were there, you could just dunk DD in a stream and say I baptise you in the name of God. and it would count.







I don't really care if they pour water on her head or not - if it makes them feel better, than I think no harm done.


----------



## Lady Lilya

My parents didn't have me baptised because they wanted me to choose for myself when I got older. My grandmother was afraid i would die first, so she secretly did it.

Just before I had this baby a few weeks ago, she said she wanted to take him to baptise him. She didn't think I cared enough to put up a fight if that is what she wanted to do. She, and my aunt who was present, was shocked when I said that DH and I had been talking about doing it. They hadn't realized we were Christian, since we don't go to church. There is no church of our denomination within 2 hours of here.

The only reason we hesitated was that in our denomination, there is no opportunity for the person who is baptised as an infant to confirm it later. They are in for life, theoretically. But we figured if he decided he didn't believe than he wouldn't care. Also, I hope that we can raise him to not have the anger towards religion that we had for a period of time. I know when it is being shoved down your throat and it is being hypocritical, it can cause some hostile reactions. We have gotten past that, and I hope we can explain ourselves well enough to him that we can spare him that stage and take him past it too, where he can decide what he believes without being influenced by reactionary emotions.


----------



## minkajane

Wouldn't an unbaptised baby go to limbo, not purgatory?


----------



## User101

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
Wouldn't an unbaptised baby go to limbo, not purgatory?









And it's Limbo that no longer exists.


----------



## AlpineMama

Let me preface this by saying I have nothing against the Catholic religion. However, my mother is seriously the worst of it... she "secretly" tries to make the sign of the cross on me by pretending to wipe my forehead, hides holy cards behind things in my old room, things like that. I didn't want to leave her alone with my son because I knew she would try to secretly baptize him. I don't feel it's bad to be baptized but I do believe it's unethical for her to try to do that to MY son when she knows we're not Catholic. She probably already did it.

What made me feel slightly better about the thing is that at one point I heard a priest saying a lay person's baptism is only valid if the person being baptized is in imminent danger of death. Otherwise you have to have a priest do it. I respect other people's religions but darn, I want other people to respect my choices too. And I want to raise my child according to my wishes, not have someone "secretly" try to save his soul.

****

OK. Speaking of my mother, bad advice she gave me... "Don't name him X Jr. after his father... when you no longer love his father, you'll no longer love your son if they're called the same name." WTF? And why would I suddenly no longer love his father? That's... silly.

She still refuses to call my son by HIS NAME. She renamed him something completely different. It offends me to NO extent. What, am I not adult enough to name my OWN child???


----------



## triscuitsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *truemists* 
She still refuses to call my son by HIS NAME. She renamed him something completely different. It offends me to NO extent. What, am I not adult enough to name my OWN child???

I have one of these!!!!!!!!!!!

My baby's name is Tobias... and my father WILL NOT call him that. He calls him Toby every single time even though I have made it MORE than clear that his name is Tobias, and it's not to be shortened (especially not at this age when I still make the naming decisions, being fully aware my child will have choices as he grows).

It totally upsets me. But then... it's in a long line of things the man does to upset me... and he wonders why we never see him







:


----------



## majorsky

Quote:


Originally Posted by *truemists* 
She still refuses to call my son by HIS NAME. She renamed him something completely different. It offends me to NO extent. What, am I not adult enough to name my OWN child???

The woman who cuts my hair said the same thing about her mother! She named her son Beau, but her mother didn't like the name so she called him something completely different for several months after he was born. Totally weird.









Kristin


----------



## Kylad

She still refuses to call my son by HIS NAME. She renamed him something completely different. It offends me to NO extent. What, am I not adult enough to name my OWN child???[/QUOTE]

My mother does the same thing we named my son Kacey Jr. but his name is KJ (its a long story) we have made it perfectly clear that we want him called KJ, but mother insists on calling him Kacey or even Zephinaia which was a name we were considering in the beginning of our pregnancy.
I hate it more then any thing, its like her way of slyly telling us she hates his name.


----------



## MommyofPunkiePie

I have a friend with a daughter named Erin Nicole, but they call her Nicki. When I asked him why, he had no answer for me! The little girl is three and doesn't even know her name!







:


----------



## potatofairy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *truemists* 
She still refuses to call my son by HIS NAME. She renamed him something completely different. It offends me to NO extent. What, am I not adult enough to name my OWN child???


im not either apparantly! dont they realize theyre just going to piss the kid off when he gets older? im sick of hearing what they think 'the kids at school' (as if id ever send him) are going to call him


----------



## ~PurityLake~

I think the real issue with most of the people who are changing your kid's names is really a control issue.
I think they are control freaks. It's not really about the name, or any of the other things people say that is stupid. It's really about trying to control other people.
I hate control freaks.







:
It's amazing how many people here, myself included, have controlling mothers.


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Here's an example of something my mom did that just pissed me off:
It's been several months, maybe even a year, but she thought my eldest daughter didn't talk as much as she ought to.
So, she'd offer A a piece of food, and hold it in front of her and tell A to say the name of the food. A would get mad, because she was signing for the food, and my mom was saying to her, No, you have to SAY ......
Grrr, I got so mad at my mom I took the food out of her hand and gave it to my daughter.


----------



## SarahLi

My neighbor keeps telling me that my baby wants to be held all the time because he is R-O-T-T-E-N just like hers were (half jokingly) and that he whines because he's trying to manipulate me (HE'S ONLY 8 MONTHS OLD!) and all infants are manipulative because of original sin.

I don't think my baby is manipulative, rotten, or sinful. I think he is hungry, tired, or just wants lovin' from his mama (or teething!), and doesn't know how to tell me in words yet.


----------



## mimiharshe

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Abi's Mom* 
I think the real issue with most of the people who are changing your kid's names is really a control issue.
I think they are control freaks. It's not really about the name, or any of the other things people say that is stupid. It's really about trying to control other people.
I hate control freaks.







:
It's amazing how many people here, myself included, have controlling mothers.

just jumping in here. we named our son trent joseph (joseph is a family name). my aunt wanted to call him tj. ummm...no. we don't like nicknames. i told her if she called him that she wouldn't get to see him. period. she calls him trent!


----------



## thefragile7393

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SarahLi* 
and all infants are manipulative because of original sin.

People who think like this seriously frighten me!


----------



## elsa_elsa

this isn't advice/the worst thing i've heard but it's certainly the most annoying...

"he's already crying, so let me hold him."

a woman who i spend quite a bit of time with always says this whenever DS cries and it drives me INSANE! if he's crying I want to hold him even more!


----------



## HappyFox05

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SarahLi* 
My neighbor keeps telling me that my baby wants to be held all the time because he is R-O-T-T-E-N just like hers were (half jokingly) and that he whines because he's trying to manipulate me (HE'S ONLY 8 MONTHS OLD!) and all infants are manipulative because of original sin.

That's just scary, and I consider myself a conservative Christian. I'm pretty sure that 8 month olds aren't trying to be manipulative through crying. Yikes!


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## puddle

A woman I worked with told me I shouldn't breastfeed longer than 3 months because then my baby wouldn't get sick often enough--and that she needed to get sick so she could build up her immune system.


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## Kat_shoshin

My mother is contradictory.

She wanted DS to have more "Tummy time" so he would crawl before walking and not be brain damaged apparently.

I am also constantly getting. "You never DO anything", and "You've got to put that baby down!"

So of course my kid was left on his tummy freaking out while my mom made our beds?!? "Well, I figured he might as well get the tummy time since he was already upset."

Thanks Mom, let's make him hate it more... Bet she regrets this now that he is barely 6 mo and can't be contained!









And then recently, I had him in an exersaucer at a friends house and he was fussing a little. cranking while playing really. And my mother kept coming into the room and saying "Is someone being neglected?" And then to me "I thought you didn't want him to cry?"

Cry no, but DS wasn't crying, he was complaining. I am cool with his learning that entertaining himself sometimes is okay too.









And my mother means well, but she often says that being a grandparent is really hard for her, because she loves him so much and wants what is best, but has no say in anything because he is not hers. I know it is hard for her and I let her get away with most of her digs and the like because she loves him so much and MOST of it is completely harmless to him and just to try to show me the error of my ways. Like refusing to use the change table or bath ring because they are useless death traps. Many here would agree.

On a side note about the name thing... My grandmother purposely mispelled our names until she died. She wanted them spelled the french catholic way.

My uncle was called "Ricky" his whole life when his name is John Douglas. The nieghbour wanted him called "Richard" and somehow it stuck!


----------



## SarahLi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *puddle* 
A woman I worked with told me I shouldn't breastfeed longer than 3 months because then my baby wouldn't get sick often enough--and that she needed to get sick so she could build up her immune system.

Ugh. I thought people didn't believe this stuff anymore.


----------



## cinnamonamon

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SarahLi* 
Ugh. I thought people didn't believe this stuff anymore.

I actually thought it was somewhat true; except that babies _do_ get sick when they're breastfed, they just don't get _as_ sick, or don't really show symptoms since mama's milk starts passing on the ... oh, what's the word??! Immunities? ... so quickly.

Gee...mama's milk, indeed -- my kids must be sucking out all my brain cells...


----------



## BetsyS

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyofPunkiePie* 
I have a friend with a daughter named Erin Nicole, but they call her Nicki. When I asked him why, he had no answer for me! The little girl is three and doesn't even know her name!







:

The little girl doesn't know her name is Nicki?

Cause where I come from, Nicki is a short form of Nicole. That makes perfect sense to me. Maybe I'm the weird one.









Of course, I'm called Betsy, but my real name is Elizabeth. I'm constantly suprised when people can't figure out that Betsy is a nickname. At an old job, the receptionist told callers (important H.R. folks) that Elizabeth S_____ doesn't work here. ROFL


----------



## MommyofPunkiePie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BetsyS* 
The little girl doesn't know her name is Nicki?

Cause where I come from, Nicki is a short form of Nicole. That makes perfect sense to me. Maybe I'm the weird one.










The girl's first name is Erin, her middle name is Nicole. They call her Nicki and she does not know her name is Erin. I know it's not *that* weird, but if they're going to call their child by another name (because they prefer it?), why not name her Nicole Erin? They're a bit strange anyway... This weekend dad was in the hospital and mom spent the night with him the first night he was there. Mom slept in the hospital bed while dad (the patient) slept in the chair (IV and all).







: Sorry, totally off topic!









My DD's name is Elizabeth and she is named after my maternal Grandmother. I call her *Elizabeth* because I want her to choose her own diminuitive, I don't want her stuck with a nickname she doesn't like. The only person who I let call her anything different was my Grandfather (who had nicknames for everyone). He called my Grandma *Lizwell* (his nickname was Maxwell, and my nickname was Maxine because I was his first grandchild), and he called my DD Lizwell, too. I even call her Lizwell on occasion just to honor my Grandpa!


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## momtothree

My dd was in hospital having tests because of severe gastrointestinal problems and she was not gaining weight. After the test was done, the nurse looked at me like I was stupid and told me I just needed to feed her more.....like I never thought of that







:


----------



## BetsyS

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyofPunkiePie* 
My DD's name is Elizabeth and she is named after my maternal Grandmother. I call her *Elizabeth* because I want her to choose her own diminuitive, I don't want her stuck with a nickname she doesn't like. The only person who I let call her anything different was my Grandfather (who had nicknames for everyone). He called my Grandma *Lizwell* (his nickname was Maxwell, and my nickname was Maxine because I was his first grandchild), and he called my DD Lizwell, too. I even call her Lizwell on occasion just to honor my Grandpa!

I see. I get how some people have strong opinions on nicknames. Most of the people in my family have them, so it seems normal to me.







Hence why my kid is "Will." And I love the name Megan as a shortened form of Margaret Ann.


----------



## Miasmamma

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyofPunkiePie* 
My DD's name is Elizabeth and she is named after my maternal Grandmother. I call her *Elizabeth* because I want her to choose her own diminuitive, I don't want her stuck with a nickname she doesn't like. The only person who I let call her anything different was my Grandfather (who had nicknames for everyone). He called my Grandma *Lizwell* (his nickname was Maxwell, and my nickname was Maxine because I was his first grandchild), and he called my DD Lizwell, too. I even call her Lizwell on occasion just to honor my Grandpa!

My cousin named her daughter Elizabeth in honor of both her mom and our grandma who are both named Betty. Everyone calls her Elizabeth, except my dad who calls her LizardBreath!







He got it off of a comic strip. My DD's name is Amelia, but everyone calls her Mia. If you use her full name she gets startled. I only call her Amelia Rose if I need her attention RIGHT NOW!! Like when she's heading right for the newly lit grill and I can't reach her in time.


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## ~PurityLake~

An uncle of mine used to call my sister, Elizabeth, lizard lips, but that was also because her lips turn blue when she's cold.

Here's something funny:
Okay, my name is Katreena and my sister's is Elizabeth.
My dad would do what most people do, call us by the wrong name, go through a list of names, until he got it right.
(I'm afraid I've done this with my dog and my first daughter, Brittni and Abigail







).

My dad often ended up using the first few letters or sounds of the wrong name and he would switch to the right name part way through.

So I was often called L'trine.


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## MommyofPunkiePie

My Grandma did this all the time, too! She had five daughters and seven granddaughters, plus numerous sisters. It was also a long string of names before she got it right.

Quote:

So I was often called L'trine.
This takes the cake, though!







:


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## siobhang

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyofPunkiePie* 
The girl's first name is Erin, her middle name is Nicole. They call her Nicki and she does not know her name is Erin. I know it's not *that* weird, but if they're going to call their child by another name (because they prefer it?), why not name her Nicole Erin? They're a bit strange anyway.

This is extremely common in the South. I have a friend named John Travis - he goes by Travis. His son is named John Holden and goes by Holden. Another friend named Susan Nicole, she goes by Nicole. Etc.

I also have friends who decided to start going by their middle name later in life - a woman named Elizabeth who decided to start calling herself Eileen (her middle name) because she liked it better.

In another friend's family, all girls have the first name of Marie with the middle name that everyone is known by. It is a tradition in her family/part of Quebec where they are from.


----------



## acp

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Harmony96* 
But a funny comment about the carriers I have. I visited my mom recently and we planned to go to the mall, and she wanted to know if I wanted her to pack one of the strollers. I told her no, that I'd just put her in the carrier. Mom was like "are you SURE?" It wasn't until I was tying DD on that she fessed up and said she forgot that I wear DD and thought that by "carrier" I meant her carseat.









Funny - I just had a friend misinterpret "carrier" the same way. I was telling her that DD doesn't like to nap in her crib at all - that during the day she only likes to sleep in a carrier. And she kept going on and on about how strange that was, and finally I realized that she thought I meant she only liked to sleep in her carseat - which would indeed be strange since I had told her earlier how much she HATES being in the car. But it made me realize how many people DO use carseats, all the time, outside the car - for sleeping, strollers, carrying, whatever. Kind of sad, since I dont' think it's the greatest position to be in. And it sure wouldn't be easier on me - DD is heavy enough in just a wrap - lugging her around in a carseat would be brutal!

We also don't get much use out of our strollers. I have brought the snap n' go to the airport on all the trips we've been on, but it's mostly so I have a good way to transport the carseat (needed once we arrive wherever we're going) to the gate. I still end up wearing DD all through the airport and on the flight And occasionally get strange looks. My favorite was when I took the carseat on the plane (it was Southwest, and they had extra seats so told me I didn't have to check it). I had DD in a sling, and ended up putting my diaper bag and backpack in the carseat. The flight attendant was looking down, and registered a look of shock as she saw the stuff in the carseat, and said "where's the baby?!?" Then she looked up and saw DD happily asleep in her wrap.

I haven't gotten too much terrible advice/comments, but most of the ones I have have to do with babywearing. Several people have stopped me when I have DD in her wrap asking if it's safe, or telling me that they think my baby is suffocating. I know they mean well, but I think I know if my baby is breathing ok or not!


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## Zwillingsmama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *truemists* 
I didn't want to leave her alone with my son because I knew she would try to secretly baptize him.


Question: Is it possible in the States for someone to secretly baptize a child?
We live in Germany and are visiting my in-laws soon and I have a feeling they might do this. Over here the parents okay is definitely needed, how is it there?

I'm really afraid of this, especially since we're planning a two day trip when we're there, and the kids would stay with the in laws (who are really upset about the whole baptizing thing)


----------



## HappyFox05

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Zwillingsmama* 
Question: Is it possible in the States for someone to secretly baptize a child?
We live in Germany and are visiting my in-laws soon and I have a feeling they might do this. Over here the parents okay is definitely needed, how is it there?

I'm really afraid of this, especially since we're planning a two day trip when we're there, and the kids would stay with the in laws (who are really upset about the whole baptizing thing)

Anyone can baptize, so yes, it is possible to "secretly" baptize a child. You'd better make your wishes well known. Of course, whether the child lives a life reflecting the baptism is a whole 'nother story.


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## Kateana

I *really* don't want to stray too far OT for this (or step on any toes!), so maybe just one or 2 people could tell me: what happens when a baby is secretly baptized? If a parent doesn't believe in it, then why is it such a big deal? I guess I would just laugh it off as "crazy old grandma sprinkled water on you as a baby and thought it would get you into heaven", so I'm not getting what the big deal is...







:


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## HappyFox05

I don't want to go too far OT either. I think it probably depends on the reasons the parents don't want the child baptized. If someone just doesn't believe in that, then it might not be a big deal. However, if they have conflicting beliefs, it might get under their skin (so to speak).


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## Zwillingsmama

To me it would be a big deal. I don't know why things are so different over here, but if you have your child baptized here it's very official, and automatically makes the child a member of the church per law.
I don't want my kids to part of any rituals in which they have no say and I don't want them to be part of the church until they can decide for themselves if they want to join.


----------



## bigeyes

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Abi's Mom* 
Here's an example of something my mom did that just pissed me off:
It's been several months, maybe even a year, but she thought my eldest daughter didn't talk as much as she ought to.
So, she'd offer A a piece of food, and hold it in front of her and tell A to say the name of the food. A would get mad, because she was signing for the food, and my mom was saying to her, No, you have to SAY ......
Grrr, I got so mad at my mom I took the food out of her hand and gave it to my daughter.









_Now, mom, say *you're welcome.*_


----------



## mimiharshe

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Zwillingsmama* 
To me it would be a big deal. I don't know why things are so different over here, but if you have your child baptized here it's very official, and automatically makes the child a member of the church per law.
I don't want my kids to part of any rituals in which they have no say and I don't want them to be part of the church until they can decide for themselves if they want to join.

Wow!


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## the_lissa

I think it is very offensive to go against a parents' wishes and do something so important behind the parents' back. That shows a clear lack of respect for the parents, their beliefs, how they wish to raise their children, etc.


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## momma-d

yup. I agree with pp about going behind the parent's backs to do something "they" (i.e., the ILs or whoever) deem important, regardless of the parent's wishes on the matter. I'd *definitely* be upset if someone knowingly went against my wishes and took my child *secretly!* to get her Baptised, christened, what have you...
GL, Momma! I hope that your ILs don't do that to your LO. I hope you can trust them to respect you and your family's choices...









...and now...back to topic...

here's a recent dumb conversation with my Grandma:

G-ma: Are you still nursing?
Me: Yup.
G-ma: When are you going to wean her?
Me: Oh....certainly by the time she graduates high-school...
G-ma: (in all seriousness) Well, that's what I'm afraid of...

Oy. Sound familiar...?


----------



## triscuitsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *momma-d* 
here's a recent dumb conversation with my Grandma:

G-ma: Are you still nursing?
Me: Yup.
G-ma: When are you going to wean her?
Me: Oh....certainly by the time she graduates high-school...
G-ma: (in all seriousness) Well, that's what I'm afraid of...

Oy. Sound familiar...?









Yep...

Gpa: When are you going to get him his own bed?
Me: He has his own bed, we share it








Gpa: No, I mean to sleep on his own, I'll pay for it if it's a money thing.
Me: It's not a money thing, it's a he's not ready to sleep on his own yet thing.
Gpa: Well I don't want him sleeping with you still when he's 15 or 16.
Me: GREAT! So in 14 or 15 years I'll take you up on the new bed thing, perfect!









He wasn't impressed







: Ah well


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## Ish'smom

Ok so I've heard some dumb ones but these are the worst.
We were on a flight back home from vacation(just 7 month DS and I) the stewardess comes down the aisle with her cart while I'm nursing DS with his head towards the aisle. I have my hand protecting his head from her cart and she says "Oh, dont you have a baby bonnet or something?" Huh? I just kind of shook my head and said no confused while thinking "would that protect his head better from your cart?"
Later on the same flight DS was wearing just his diaper because he had spit up on one outfit and drooled another so I had him semi-wrapped in a blanket and he was warm. A steward came by and asked, "Doesn't he ever wear any clothes?" Later I wished I had said "No I'm raising him to be a nudist." I just dont get the dumb comments.

Aside from those two the worst comments were probably while I was in labor. I wanted a natural birth and should have taken classes I now realize but I was overconfident . . . . any way. I got to the hospital and the first thing the nurses said when they came in was "you're having an Epidural right ?" I said no. Then they said "If you are already in this much pain you cant do it without an Epidural" Then the nurse started lecturing me and telling me to please stop swearing" I wasn't even swearing at any one!!! I asked for a new nurse but after nine hours of bacck labor when I started to doubt myself the doctor said I had made no progress in two hours and had to consider either an epidural or a c-sec so I flipped out and accepted the epidural. I now know he was full of it but his timing was just right to get me to have the drugs . So next time God willing it will go better. I am educating myself and will stay home much longer. Anyway sorry for getting long-winded. I just still get angry thinking about it.


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## vancouverlori

Quote:


Originally Posted by *siobhang* 
In another friend's family, all girls have the first name of Marie with the middle name that everyone is known by. It is a tradition in her family/part of Quebec where they are from.

I'm from one of those families too. Except that we go by our *third* name. Which usually doesn't even fit on the same line. The first name, Marie, is of course in honour of the Virgin Mary (Catholic, natch), and boys' first name is always Joseph. The second name is in honour of someone else. My daughter's is in honour of my mom's parents, my son's is in honour of my stepdad and my friend's dad who passed away not long before. And then the third name is the first name. And just to mess with everyone's heads, my mom goes by the last half of her 3rd name, and I go by the first half of my 3rd name. But the government agencies all call me Marie.









As for the secret baptisms - wow, the legal ramifications in Germany are pretty heavy duty. If the grandparents wanted to have the child baptized at a Catholic church here, they might not even want to do it without the parents being willing and involved participants. We had to go to a couple of classes and everything. But anyone could bless water and then sprinkle it on a person to baptize them - it's something Catholics are taught in case of life-threatening emergencies. Our forward-thinking grade 6 teacher nun also taught us First Aid.







My own thoughts lean towards the "can't hurt, might help" side, but then, I'm Catholic, so I don't see the harm, except for that German legal stuff - that would be bad.

-Lori


----------



## Shenjall

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ish'smom* 
.... Aside from those two the worst comments were probably while I was in labor. I wanted a natural birth and should have taken classes I now realize but I was overconfident . . . . any way. I got to the hospital and the first thing the nurses said when they came in was "you're having an Epidural right ?" I said no. Then they said "If you are already in this much pain you cant do it without an Epidural" Then the nurse started lecturing me and telling me to please stop swearing" I wasn't even swearing at any one!!! I asked for a new nurse but after nine hours of bacck labor when I started to doubt myself the doctor said I had made no progress in two hours and had to consider either an epidural or a c-sec so I flipped out and accepted the epidural. I now know he was full of it but his timing was just right to get me to have the drugs . So next time God willing it will go better. I am educating myself and will stay home much longer. Anyway sorry for getting long-winded. I just still get angry thinking about it.


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## DoulaClara

I was at a wedding over Labor Day weekend- I needed to do a reading. I was holding my then-six week old daughter. The pastor walked up and was acting really nervous and jittery, and she kept saying, "What a cute baby! She's quiet now, but I hope she can be quiet during the ceremony!" I nodded and smiled, and tried to continue to prepare myself to give a reading during the ceremony. She continued, "You know, there is a nursery with a bunch of baby toys where she can stay. I think that would work."

Ummm... clearly this woman is not a mother. Who would merrily stick a six week old newborn in a random room in a strange church full of strangers, and expect them to play with toys?


----------



## Katielady

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DoulaClara* 
Who would merrily stick a six week old newborn in a random room in a strange church full of strangers, and expect them to play with toys?

Sadly, a friend of mine did just that, so she could go to a paid singing gig at a church. She does it as a hobby in addition to her full-time job, but wanted to go back as soon as possible so they wouldn't "think she was slacking off."







:

(ugh to your story btw.)


----------



## ramlita

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Zwillingsmama* 
To me it would be a big deal. I don't know why things are so different over here, but if you have your child baptized here it's very official, and automatically makes the child a member of the church per law.


How does the law get involved with what (if any) church you belong to?


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## Zwillingsmama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ramlita* 
How does the law get involved with what (if any) church you belong to?

Its kinda crazy over here. It's called the Church-law and if you're baptized they'll write you up in their book and then you're part of it.
So later in life, when you start working you have to pay church taxes, it's deducted from your pay.
It's the catholic or the evangelist church.


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## ramlita

That is so interesting!







:

Is it hard to disengage from a church, once you're on the books?

Does everyone have to be aligned with a church for this purpose, or is it possible to just opt out entirely?

As I understand it, churches in the US don't pay property taxes at all.

(Sorry 'bout the offtopic drift, everyone- but isn't this interesting?)


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## mum4boys

Okay that is just baffling







:

You have to pay taxes for the church if you are a member and to be a member you get baptized?

In the USA if you want to give to the church you can but there is no law that says you have too. I am catholic but if I felt the need I could donate to any other church and if I was so inclined I do not have to give anyone a dime.

I can assure you the catholic church will not baptize a person without their consent or the parents plus you have to promise to do a bunch of stuff.


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## Kateana

: So, this baptism thing is all a LITTLE clearer... at least for Germany. I was picturing grandma whisking a baby off to the restroom for whatever fake reason, only to: DUM-DUM-DUM... dribble water on his head. Not really what other people meant, I guess.


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## Ellp

So this week I had both Dd's out in our Phil and Teds E3 stroller for our trip downtown via transit. I had Dd#1 (age 2.5) in the doubles seat and Dd#2 (3mo) in the infant bucket seat up front. (The stroller is built like a double decker bus).

Both girls are awake and are pleasent throughout the entire trip. When we get to the train station on our way back, an elderly couple comes up to us to admire both girls and the gentleman asks..."Are they twins?"

















Me thinking: ARE YA BLIND???!!


----------



## mama_ani

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ellp* 
So this week I had both Dd's out in our Phil and Teds E3 stroller for our trip downtown via transit. I had Dd#1 (age 2.5) in the doubles seat and Dd#2 (3mo) in the infant bucket seat up front. (The stroller is built like a double decker bus).

Both girls are awake and are pleasent throughout the entire trip. When we get to the train station on our way back, an elderly couple comes up to us to admire both girls and the gentleman asks..."Are they twins?"

















Me thinking: ARE YA BLIND???!!

Someone once asked me if my three girls were triplets. They were 6 months, 2 years and 3 years!

Another time I just had the younger two out together and a woman at Tim Horton's asked if they were twins, I said no and she replied "Are you sure???"














:


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *momma-d* 
G-ma: Are you still nursing?
Me: Yup.
G-ma: When are you going to wean her?
Me: Oh....certainly by the time she graduates high-school...
G-ma: (in all seriousness) Well, that's what I'm afraid of...

You (perfectly straight face): Well, I know it's a bit early, but I'm really hoping she gets to have a dorm experience in college and I'll probably have other children to take care of by then.


----------



## eunytuny

So...I am apple picking with my ds (10 mo old), SIL, Aunt-in-law and nephew. They have a deli on the premises with ready made sandwiches and my nephew wanted a ham sandwich. Aunt P loves cheese so he peeled it of and gave it to her. As she's eating it, she tries to hand a piece to ds and says "here, have a piece". I am wearing him so I pull back and say "no no, he is not eating cheese yet." She says "But why?". This would not be the first time I explain to her that I don't want him eating anything processed for at least the first year. So we go out to pick apples (Honeycrisp) and I bite into one and eat a lot of the skin off and let ds chew pieces of the apple. Aunt P says "So you won't let him have cheese but you let him eat an APPLE??? Why???".







:







: Do I really have to explain the difference between processed and fresh?
From now on, when people ask why i make the decisions I make for my son, i am going to say "because I'm quirky".


----------



## Arwyn

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eunytuny* 
From now on, when people ask why i make the decisions I make for my son, i am going to say "because I'm quirky".









I think this is possibly the best line ever. Seriously, I'm stealing it. I'm so using that.


----------



## Onemagicmummy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ellp* 
So this week I had both Dd's out in our Phil and Teds E3 stroller for our trip downtown via transit. I had Dd#1 (age 2.5) in the doubles seat and Dd#2 (3mo) in the infant bucket seat up front. (The stroller is built like a double decker bus).

Both girls are awake and are pleasent throughout the entire trip. When we get to the train station on our way back, an elderly couple comes up to us to admire both girls and the gentleman asks..."Are they twins?"

















Me thinking: ARE YA BLIND???!!

similar happend to me too when my DD1 ans DS2 were younger. i had a phil and teds too. i so so miss it(got wrecked







: cant afford a nother one just yet)

kiz


----------



## AllisonR

OT - Baptism, church, germany....
In Denmark we have a similiar arangement. You automatically are a member of the church of Denmark, and when you pay taxes, 1% of your income automatically goes to the church. We pay the highest taxes in the world - up to 50% of income, plus 25% tax on everything we buy, so I guess a lot of people figure "what's an extra 1 percent?" *You can easily opt out of this. You just go to the tax office and tell them you don't want to pay to the church. No questions asked.* My assumption is that there is a similiar policy in Germany.

Both DH and I are athiest and we opted out, though I am sure many others do for other reasons as well. Ironically, I end up going to church about every other sunday, because my 2.5y DS always wants to go. He likes to sing and play with the tractor and the church is in our backyard.


----------



## HappyFox05

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mama_ani* 
Another time I just had the younger two out together and a woman at Tim Horton's asked if they were twins, I said no and she replied "Are you sure???"














:


Mmmmm.....Tim Horton's.....

You know, there's enough of these twins comments out there to make me wonder if the people asking the question actually know what twins are. Lol, "Are you sure?" I hope a woman would know if she'd given birth to two people rather than one!

And - Eunytuny, I'm stealing your quirky line too.


----------



## yvonnemlv

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Zwillingsmama* 
Its kinda crazy over here. It's called the Church-law and if you're baptized they'll write you up in their book and then you're part of it.
So later in life, when you start working you have to pay church taxes, it's deducted from your pay.
It's the catholic or the evangelist church.


Sweden has something similar. If you baptize the child, they become a member and start paying church taxes when they start working which right now is 7%. You can opt out of the church, fortunately. I don't think they always had this but they've had it the past 5 years or so I think at least.. not sure on that. The church here is protestant? I think?

Baptizing is usually done around 3 months of age here... those of us who don't do that are starting to do name ceremonies instead. It's also the babyshower because there is some superstition that celebrating a baby before it is born may bring unluck for the family and child. ----

Okay, worst parenting advice lately.... we tried having our son in daycare because I am currently going to physical therapy 3x a week and it is free for kids his age... the lady who runs that age group told us that it is not HIS choice whether he goes to daycare or not, it is we who decide and to just force him to come and he will get used to it...

uuuurgh, talk about annoying! I respect my children for who they are and if they are not happy with daycare after a couple of weeks, there is no way I am going to rape him by making him continue to go when he so clearly does not like it!

We were with him the first couple of weeks "schooling him in" where we stay with him in the beginning the whole time, and slowly spending less time there and eventually leaving 5-10 minutes after we drop him off... so it was not some sudden drop but still, grr.


----------



## Twinklefae

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HappyFox05* 
Mmmmm.....Tim Horton's.....

You know, there's enough of these twins comments out there to make me wonder if the people asking the question actually know what twins are. Lol, "Are you sure?" I hope a woman would know if she'd given birth to two people rather than one!


Maybe because it's older people they still think you get knocked out for labour and delivery? After all, back in the day, you wouldn't have been sure... you wouldn't have been concious.


----------



## sarahjackm

I was just talking to a co-worker who has a 14 month old. She asked if my DD was still keeping me up at night eating every couple of hours (8 month old breastfed baby). When I told her that Emma usually wakes up around midnight and then nurses a couple of times, she asked me...

"Do you think that putting cereal in your breastmilk would help her sleep through the night?"

I couldn't help myself. I looked down at my boobs and back at her and asked her how I was supposed to accomplish that feat.

I'm thinking this is the best one I've received yet.


----------



## turnipmama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sarahjackm* 

"Do you think that putting cereal in your breastmilk would help her sleep through the night?"

I couldn't help myself. I looked down at my boobs and back at her and asked her how I was supposed to accomplish that feat.

I'm thinking this is the best one I've received yet.
















:


----------



## mimiharshe

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sarahjackm* 
I was just talking to a co-worker who has a 14 month old. She asked if my DD was still keeping me up at night eating every couple of hours (8 month old breastfed baby). When I told her that Emma usually wakes up around midnight and then nurses a couple of times, she asked me...

"Do you think that putting cereal in your breastmilk would help her sleep through the night?"

I couldn't help myself. I looked down at my boobs and back at her and asked her how I was supposed to accomplish that feat.

I'm thinking this is the best one I've received yet.

That is awesome!


----------



## jenP

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sarahjackm* 
I was just talking to a co-worker who has a 14 month old. She asked if my DD was still keeping me up at night eating every couple of hours (8 month old breastfed baby). When I told her that Emma usually wakes up around midnight and then nurses a couple of times, she asked me...

"Do you think that putting cereal in your breastmilk would help her sleep through the night?"

I couldn't help myself. I looked down at my boobs and back at her and asked her how I was supposed to accomplish that feat.

I'm thinking this is the best one I've received yet.

Easy, of course. Just put the cereal in the bottle of your EBM. I mean OF COURSE you are pumping and giving bottles, right? You don't actually let your baby SUCK on your BOOB, do you? Eeeeeeeew....

Jen


----------



## FarmerCathy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jenP* 
Easy, of course. Just put the cereal in the bottle of your EBM. I mean OF COURSE you are pumping and giving bottles, right? You don't actually let your baby SUCK on your BOOB, do you? Eeeeeeeew....

Jen


----------



## jwpsgurl

I was on the phone with my mom the other day when DD who was trying to sit up, fell over onto one of her toys. She started crying a little so I picked her up to nurse her and my mom said "If you keep nursing her just to comfort her she is going to learn to be an emotional eater and then she is going to be fat"







:


----------



## kluella

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eunytuny* 
So we go out to pick apples (Honeycrisp) and I bite into one and eat a lot of the skin off and let ds chew pieces of the apple.

Totally off topic but I am DROOLING over the thought of a honeycrisp right off the tree. They are the best apples, and I dare say the best fruit, on the planet. Yummm.


----------



## kewpie-o

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jwpsgurl* 
I was on the phone with my mom the other day when DD who was trying to sit up, fell over onto one of her toys. She started crying a little so I picked her up to nurse her and my mom said "If you keep nursing her just to comfort her she is going to learn to be an emotional eater and then she is going to be fat"







:

I'm a fat emotional eater and I sure wasn't breastfed









The next time she makes a comment like that, you could point out that the grand majority of adults in our society weren't breastfed, and yet we seen to have a nation full of big fat people who turn to food for comfort and escape.


----------



## St. Margaret

Or even how back when babies were all BF there were plenty of folks who weren't emotional overweight eaters (tho I was BF and am







I soooo get that from my dad tho!)

Parents are in town, and Sophie is FUSSY-- come on teeth, break thru and give her a break! Probably will have to surrender my lsptop to my dad in a few minutes so he can work, so have great weekends all!


----------



## lovesherboys

*when i was preg eating at a seafood restaurant, our waittress (after listening to her discuss this with all of the other employees before confronting me) said, "i don't think you should eat any shellfish. your baby might be allergic and his throat will swell up and suffocate him".
-I honestly stumbled on my words. so shocked someone could be so "un-educated". so i just told her that the food doesn't actually get to the baby...just the nutrients. and she didn't believe me.

*while DS was going through a crazy growth spurt and wanting to nurse constantly, MIL told me that "breastmilk is not satisfying and he isnt happy nursing. i should feed formula with pablum mixed in it. OH- and if the nipple gets clogged just cut the hole bigger with a knife...thats what i had to do for my son"
-I just nodded with a shocked look on my face.


----------



## pacificbliss

Oh, this thread is fun. I wish I had the time to read all the pages.

After 3 weeks of breastfeeding: "When are you going to give him some real food?" I replied that he had just had pizza and the milk was to wash it down. Not so clever but what? Real food?

On co-sleeping: "You'll spoil him and never get him out of your bed" Yeah, his first girlfriend is going to be so mad.

On not circumsising: "You better get that removed later or when he grows up he won't be able to pee?" What?! I had no response. Thinking about it later I thought isn't it something like 84% of the men in the world are intact? NONE of the adults can pee now?


----------



## AlpineMama

Regarding the whole baptism issue... It's not necessarily a matter of believing / not believing. It's a matter of respect. My mother and I have had huge issues with religious differences in the past. She has literally said "you're not my daughter anymore" when I said I no longer agreed with Catholicism... She also threw out my COLLEGE textbooks on other religions (Buddhism, Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, etc) and literally laughed at me many a time when I described my beliefs (at her request). It's just a sore topic. She even said she doesn't believe my DH and I are married because we didn't do it in a church. So for those reasons, I don't want her trying to take over and baptize my child. It's not the religion per se; it's her attitude. If she was respectful that'd be different. We did consider it, and she'd probably be able to convince us if she tried to be decent about the topic. But she's not...


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lovesherboys* 
*when i was preg eating at a seafood restaurant, our waittress (after listening to her discuss this with all of the other employees before confronting me) said, "i don't think you should eat any shellfish. your baby might be allergic and his throat will swell up and suffocate him".
-I honestly stumbled on my words. so shocked someone could be so "un-educated". so i just told her that the food doesn't actually get to the baby...just the nutrients. and she didn't believe me.

I daresay I'm the 12th person to comment on this, sorry about that, but if a child is sensitive to something often the mother will have to cut it out of her diet while breastfeeding. However, I think it usually shows up as a rash, annoying and uncomfortable, maybe painful, but not life threatening.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *truemists* 
Regarding the whole baptism issue... It's not necessarily a matter of believing / not believing. It's a matter of respect. My mother and I have had huge issues with religious differences in the past. She has literally said "you're not my daughter anymore" when I said I no longer agreed with Catholicism... She also threw out my COLLEGE textbooks on other religions (Buddhism, Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, etc) and literally laughed at me many a time when I described my beliefs (at her request). It's just a sore topic. She even said she doesn't believe my DH and I are married because we didn't do it in a church. So for those reasons, I don't want her trying to take over and baptize my child. It's not the religion per se; it's her attitude. If she was respectful that'd be different. We did consider it, and she'd probably be able to convince us if she tried to be decent about the topic. But she's not...

I wouldn't think baptism would be an issue when you already have plenty of reasons to never ever let your children alone with her anyway.


----------



## silverspook

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lovesherboys* 
*when i was preg eating at a seafood restaurant, our waittress (after listening to her discuss this with all of the other employees before confronting me) said, "i don't think you should eat any shellfish. your baby might be allergic and his throat will swell up and suffocate him".
-I honestly stumbled on my words. so shocked someone could be so "un-educated". so i just told her that the food doesn't actually get to the baby...just the nutrients. and she didn't believe me.









: I feel sorry for her children!

Quote:

*while DS was going through a crazy growth spurt and wanting to nurse constantly, MIL told me that "breastmilk is not satisfying and he isnt happy nursing. i should feed formula with pablum mixed in it.
Oh yeah we got this all the time until I started yelling obscenities at them when they told me that my milk wasn't satisfying him.

Quote:

OH- and if the nipple gets clogged just cut the hole bigger with a knife...thats what i had to do for my son"
-I just nodded with a shocked look on my face.








: No thanks!!!!!!


----------



## Kailey's mom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *loriforeman* 
i've heard all kiiiiinds of stuff.

wind causes ear infections.

exposure to cold temperature, even for a minute, causes colds.

the flu can be prevented by staying inside for recess.

babies need cereal, even at two weeks old.

it's okay to give your newborn table foods, if YOU CHEW THEM FIRST. (blech)

nursing a child is silly when you have medically made formula.

babies need to sleep on their stomach, or they'll choke on their vomit.

you shouldn't change a diaper at night, you'll wake the kid up all the way.

you shouldn't feed a child at night, they'll fall back asleep after crying a bit.

cry it out.

the only way to teach them something would hurt is to slap their hand.

you'll suffocate the baby if you sleep with her. (okay, to give them credit...george's girlfriend's baby died this way. of course, she was blasted on drugs.)

you'll never get them out of your bed if you let them in.

you can tell what gender the baby is by how you carry (had all girls, carried all four completely differently).

cats suck baby breath. (i was actually threatened with CPS because i allowed a kitten to enter my THREE-year-old's room.)

nursing while pregnant could kill the fetus.

all babies should wear shoes, to "train" their feet.

feed a cold, starve a fever.

the silliest might have been that if i raised my hands over my head...that my kid might tangle in her cord and die.
















....I've heard 16 of the ones you listed too many times







my grandma trully believes these and when I was preg, yelled at me for reaching saying that I'm going to choke the baby ( I never lifted my arms above my head again until she was born







) I heard the first 2 TODAY a few times from my mom, and once from my grama (it's rainy out







: )


----------



## MilkTrance

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jwpsgurl* 
I was on the phone with my mom the other day when DD who was trying to sit up, fell over onto one of her toys. She started crying a little so I picked her up to nurse her and my mom said "If you keep nursing her just to comfort her she is going to learn to be an emotional eater and then she is going to be fat"







:


Ohhh, that makes SO MUCH sense! I must have fallen a LOT as a child!


----------



## MilkTrance

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kat_shoshin* 

My uncle was called "Ricky" his whole life when his name is John Douglas. The nieghbour wanted him called "Richard" and somehow it stuck!

\

Ok, here's something weird, along the same sort of wavelength...

My DH's cousin's name is Robert, but when he was younger, everyone teased him by calling him "Buffy" from some TV show.

Fast forward 20-ish years and that's now his name.









I also had a friend named Francis. In Spanish class when we were 15-ish, our teacher told us that the Spanish, "nickname" version of Francis is "Paco." That became HIS name.

Interesting/weird stuff


----------



## Nani

Yes, I'm deeply exhausted, my dh has been working 20 hr days for four months now and I'm a SAHM to a 5 mo dd and an almost 3 yo dd. I sleep about 5 hrs a night, cuz I'm feeding the babe, plus both kids were sick last week. Yes, I'm at the end of my rope in many ways. Today, Dh took us out to our usual little french cafe for brunch after I had a meeting, so I was extra tired. Did I mention I am tired? Anyway, during brunch, my older dd was playing by herself, sitting with us at the table on the sidewalk, she talked a lot to her mouse toy and kept herself entertained which I was happy about, since she's been super-clingy since dd2 was born and even more for the last month since she just started preschool. My dh got to talk a bit and the baby was happy too. It was nice and quiet. Then when we're done, Im standing on the sidewalk with the baby, as dh took our older dd to the potty. Then this big woman in her 50ies comes outside. Apparently she had been watching us interact and she says: "I'm really worries about your lack of bonding with your daughter" (meaning the older one who was entertaining herself). I was just shell-shocked and just said that she doesn't need to worry. SHe then went back inside.







:







:







:
HOw incredible intrusive, disrespectful and hurtful! This woman has just no clue how hard life has been for me recently and just makes a statement like that!


----------



## jayayenay

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Nani* 
HOw incredible intrusive, disrespectful and hurtful! This woman has just no clue how hard life has been for me recently and just makes a statement like that!

Big hugs to you! Your daughters are beautful, btw!


----------



## Lady Lilya

Quote:

I also had a friend named Francis. In Spanish class when we were 15-ish, our teacher told us that the Spanish, "nickname" version of Francis is "Paco." That became HIS name.
We had a kid in high school whose name was Xuan. People mis-pronounced it like Juan. Someone joked that he is Chinese but has a Spanish name, and that calling him Juan was like calling him Paco. He became Paco from then on.


----------



## jenP

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
I daresay I'm the 12th person to comment on this, sorry about that, but if a child is sensitive to something often the mother will have to cut it out of her diet while breastfeeding. However, I think it usually shows up as a rash, annoying and uncomfortable, maybe painful, but not life threatening.

True, but the baby in question was not breastfeeding, he was in utero.

Jen


----------



## 2 in August

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Nani* 
Yes, I'm deeply exhausted, my dh has been working 20 hr days for four months now and I'm a SAHM to a 5 mo dd and an almost 3 yo dd. I sleep about 5 hrs a night, cuz I'm feeding the babe, plus both kids were sick last week. Yes, I'm at the end of my rope in many ways. Today, Dh took us out to our usual little french cafe for brunch after I had a meeting, so I was extra tired. Did I mention I am tired? Anyway, during brunch, my older dd was playing by herself, sitting with us at the table on the sidewalk, she talked a lot to her mouse toy and kept herself entertained which I was happy about, since she's been super-clingy since dd2 was born and even more for the last month since she just started preschool. My dh got to talk a bit and the baby was happy too. It was nice and quiet. Then when we're done, Im standing on the sidewalk with the baby, as dh took our older dd to the potty. Then this big woman in her 50ies comes outside. Apparently she had been watching us interact and she says: "I'm really worries about your lack of bonding with your daughter" (meaning the older one who was entertaining herself). I was just shell-shocked and just said that she doesn't need to worry. SHe then went back inside.







:







:







:
HOw incredible intrusive, disrespectful and hurtful! This woman has just no clue how hard life has been for me recently and just makes a statement like that!

How terrible of that woman.







Hugs to you. Yay for your dd playing quietly while you and your dh got some much needed couple time during a family outting. Luckily your poor dd didn't have to hear such nonsense.


----------



## mimiharshe

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Nani* 
Yes, I'm deeply exhausted, my dh has been working 20 hr days for four months now and I'm a SAHM to a 5 mo dd and an almost 3 yo dd. I sleep about 5 hrs a night, cuz I'm feeding the babe, plus both kids were sick last week. Yes, I'm at the end of my rope in many ways. Today, Dh took us out to our usual little french cafe for brunch after I had a meeting, so I was extra tired. Did I mention I am tired? Anyway, during brunch, my older dd was playing by herself, sitting with us at the table on the sidewalk, she talked a lot to her mouse toy and kept herself entertained which I was happy about, since she's been super-clingy since dd2 was born and even more for the last month since she just started preschool. My dh got to talk a bit and the baby was happy too. It was nice and quiet. Then when we're done, Im standing on the sidewalk with the baby, as dh took our older dd to the potty. Then this big woman in her 50ies comes outside. Apparently she had been watching us interact and she says: "I'm really worries about your lack of bonding with your daughter" (meaning the older one who was entertaining herself). I was just shell-shocked and just said that she doesn't need to worry. SHe then went back inside.







:







:







:
HOw incredible intrusive, disrespectful and hurtful! This woman has just no clue how hard life has been for me recently and just makes a statement like that!









: How can she even begin to think she knows anything. If I was watching you thru the window I would think "Oh my gosh, she is so lucky her kids are not all over the place right now and getting to enjoy brunch w/her dh!!!!!". Let it go...she doesn't know what the hell she's talking about!









ETA: Your dd's _are_ beautiful and congrats on your HBAC mama!


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jenP* 
True, but the baby in question was not breastfeeding, he was in utero.

Jen
















Sorry, totally misread that.


----------



## poppy&rowan

Scene: Out for Thai food with DH and a couple of friends. I am holding my 6-month-old exclusively BF DD on my lap.

Clueless Spaced-out Hippie Friend (holding out a fingerful of peanut sauce): Here, Rowan will like this, it's sweet!

Me (goggling incredulously but trying to be polite): Um, no thanks.

Clueless Friend: Why not?

Me: Well, we're not giving her any solid foods yet.

Clueless friend (continuing to jab peanut sauce at my baby): But it's really good! Here, try some!

Me (losing patience): It also consists entirely of ingredients you should never give to babies.

Clueless Friend: like what?

Me: Peanuts. And sugar. And chilis.

Clueless: But it's sweet!


----------



## ann_of_loxley

Its great reading through all of these and I havnt finished reading them all yet hehe! I must remember some of these comebacks becasue I just do not have any!
I dont know where to start either! All the typical stuff really I guess - from being spoiled to not diciplining him to wearing a curtain (my ring sling!) lol...
the joys of it all hehe


----------



## Mammy Julie

When Adam was 5 months old he was lying on his tummy on my mams floor. He was trying to push himself up on his arms but slipped and head butted the floor so was obviously quite upset. My first instinct was to comfort him - wouldnt that be any mothers? However my mam snapped at me 'You shouldnt pick him up when he cries you should just laugh at him so he doesnt get soft'. Wth? That helped me understand why I cant cry in front of people anyway.


----------



## lin1235

My MIL is normally the greatest, we get along really well and I love having her involved in dd's life. But she sometimes speaks before she thinks, for example one time when dd's reflux caused her to spit up, she said "yes, spit it out, that milk's terrible, it's yucky, spit it out!" And I was like "hey, what do you mean my milk's yucky??" She apologised pretty quickly.

I visited my cousin who had a baby on Friday this morning, and I was shocked to hear nobody had told her how frequently to feed her dd, except her mom who said no more than every 4 hours! Her mom arrived while I was there, and she told her mom I said she should feed more often, and the mom said "well 4 hours is the normal average time". I said "not anymore!" I can't believe anybody is still this ignorant! I mean I was stupid when I first had dd, but at least I read a little before she was born.


----------



## lin1235

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sarahjackm* 
I was just talking to a co-worker who has a 14 month old. She asked if my DD was still keeping me up at night eating every couple of hours (8 month old breastfed baby). When I told her that Emma usually wakes up around midnight and then nurses a couple of times, she asked me...

"Do you think that putting cereal in your breastmilk would help her sleep through the night?"

I couldn't help myself. I looked down at my boobs and back at her and asked her how I was supposed to accomplish that feat.

I'm thinking this is the best one I've received yet.

Maybe you should just eat a lot of cereal and hope dd sleeps better?


----------



## mimiharshe

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mammy Julie* 
When Adam was 5 months old he was lying on his tummy on my mams floor. He was trying to push himself up on his arms but slipped and head butted the floor so was obviously quite upset. My first instinct was to comfort him - wouldnt that be any mothers? However my mam snapped at me 'You shouldnt pick him up when he cries you should just laugh at him so he doesnt get soft'. Wth? That helped me understand why I cant cry in front of people anyway.

What the heck? That's just wrong! I had a friend who had a dd the same age as mine. When they were like 18 mo., we'd comfort our dd's totally different. If my dd got hurt I'd give her kisses and hugs, then she'd run on her way happy. When her dd got hurt she'd laugh at her just like you are talking about. We parent different among other things as well. Now, our dd's are 4. My dd is sweet, her dd is a freakin mean hellion. Sorry to say, but it's true. I've never personally known a child like hers!


----------



## MilkTrance

Quote:

Then this big woman in her 50ies comes outside. Apparently she had been watching us interact and she says: "I'm really worries about your lack of bonding with your daughter" (meaning the older one who was entertaining herself). I was just shell-shocked and just said that she doesn't need to worry. SHe then went back inside.
WOW THAT IS RUDE. Glad it's not me. I would have repeated back to her a statement regarding "worrying" about heart attacks, given her size... whoopsie, that's the lack of sleep talking...

ETA -- I'm a big woman myself, btw... not saying I'm against that, just that it would be equally rude if you said that, and it's not right that people feel they can say whatever they feel when they feel like it!


----------



## arelyn

Here's a new one:

DS (about a month old) is crying and I'm trying to calm him. My friend says "Aw, just let him cry. Crying makes tenors." I promptly informed her that my husband (a bass-baritone) will not stand for his son becoming a tenor. How random though.


----------



## HappyFox05

Quote:


Originally Posted by *arelyn* 
Here's a new one:

DS (about a month old) is crying and I'm trying to calm him. My friend says "Aw, just let him cry. Crying makes tenors." I promptly informed her that my husband (a bass-baritone) will not stand for his son becoming a tenor. How random though.

Wow, great comeback! I don't understand the deal with the "let them cry" stuff. Even disregarding all the psychological damage you may do by letting them cry, who WANTS to listen to a baby cry?


----------



## AmandaTN

I'm not a parent, or even pregnant (yet), but I love talking, learning, and researching about all things baby/parenting. I was looking at a catalog at work the other night, making comments about the items. I made an offhand comment about how a crib was unnecessary, when this exchange happened between a coworker and I:

Me: Cribs are so unnecessary.
CW: Well, where will the baby sleep?
Me: Um, in the bed, next to me.
CW: You'd put it in the BED with you??
Me: Of course.
CW: Don't you think you'd KILL it or roll over on it?
Me: Um, no.
CW: Fine, but where will you put it during the day?

...

I asked her if she meant for naps, but no, she actually believes a baby stays in a crib. All day long.


----------



## guest~*~

We were at dinner and someone brought up something about pornography. The grandfather of a little boy there said, "Gotta get them started early"

We could have just died. It was awful.


----------



## elisabeth78

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lin1235* 
Maybe you should just eat a lot of cereal and hope dd sleeps better?









*I* would sleep better if I had a nice snack of cereal every night ... of course, my husband would be stuck with the baby while I passed out in a carb coma.









On-topic, the dumbest thing I've heard is my mom telling me to let her cry because "it's how babies exercise." To her credit, she means let the baby cry for five minutes so I can make a sandwich, not let her cry herself to sleep. But still.


----------



## lin1235

Oh I forgot this one: BIL wanted to know if we'd given 7mo (at the time) dd lemon juice yet to see the expression on her face. huh? I'd purposefully give her something she'll really dislike for my enjoyment?


----------



## Maggirayne

There's a thrift store I've been to once with DD on a sling. I had DD (5 mo) in the first time and the one lady working there just made over how neat my 'pouch' was. So the secon time, a month later I go in again with DD in a sling, and she talks to us and makes over DD. I'm still looking around a little later and she come over to me and says to DD, not me, "You're so sweet, you'll just let me hold you for a couple of minute while mama shops." And tries taking her out of the sling. I'm not sure if she got her hands on her, I was in shock, but mananged to say, "No, she's wet and needs changing." I think backed up a step, too. The she said something about "Oh, I just need a baby fix." And then she was touching DD's hands and saying(in babytalk), "Oooh my hands are dirty." Wow. I was still kinda in nice mode, but the very first thought was "On MDC moms say they wear their babies in a sling so people don't try to hold them."









So has anyone ever had someone try to take their DC out of a sling?

DD is easygoing and loves people, so if she'd asked _me_ I might have let her hold her, but not gone shopping (I would have stood over her [the lady]like a hawk).


----------



## LaurenB

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maggirayne* 
There's a thrift store I've been to once with DD on a sling. I had DD (5 mo) in the first time and the one lady working there just made over how neat my 'pouch' was. So the secon time, a month later I go in again with DD in a sling, and she talks to us and makes over DD. I'm still looking around a little later and she come over to me and says to DD, not me, "You're so sweet, you'll just let me hold you for a couple of minute while mama shops." And tries taking her out of the sling. I'm not sure if she got her hands on her, I was in shock, but mananged to say, "No, she's wet and needs changing." I think backed up a step, too. The she said something about "Oh, I just need a baby fix." And then she was touching DD's hands and saying(in babytalk), "Oooh my hands are dirty." Wow. I was still kinda in nice mode, but the very first thought was "On MDC moms say they wear their babies in a sling so people don't try to hold them."









So has anyone ever had someone try to take their DC out of a sling?

DD is easygoing and loves people, so if she'd asked _me_ I might have let her hold her, but not gone shopping (I would have stood over her [the lady]like a hawk).

That is so creepy. I cant believe she actually tried to take your baby out of a sling! Eeek!


----------



## In Exile

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maggirayne* 
There's a thrift store I've been to once with DD on a sling. I had DD (5 mo) in the first time and the one lady working there just made over how neat my 'pouch' was. So the secon time, a month later I go in again with DD in a sling, and she talks to us and makes over DD. I'm still looking around a little later and she come over to me and says to DD, not me, "You're so sweet, you'll just let me hold you for a couple of minute while mama shops." And tries taking her out of the sling. I'm not sure if she got her hands on her, I was in shock, but mananged to say, "No, she's wet and needs changing." I think backed up a step, too. The she said something about "Oh, I just need a baby fix." And then she was touching DD's hands and saying(in babytalk), "Oooh my hands are dirty." Wow. I was still kinda in nice mode, but the very first thought was "On MDC moms say they wear their babies in a sling so people don't try to hold them."









So has anyone ever had someone try to take their DC out of a sling?

DD is easygoing and loves people, so if she'd asked _me_ I might have let her hold her, but not gone shopping (I would have stood over her [the lady]like a hawk).


Actually, one neighbor passed by me and ignored me first, thinking I am by myself, without baby.
Upon realizing that DS is indeed with me in the wrap she came running after me and then started TUGGING at the wrap, trying to OPEN the cross carry. WTF??? To be that felt like she was undressing me, what business do her hands have near my boobs??

Another one was first admiring the cute little feet hanging out (DS was sleeping and pretty well hidden under the wrap) and then repeated accusatory and obviously mad: I can't see him!!
Yeah, so what??







: I already opened the wrap so he could take a look but obviously that wasn't good enough for him. He was sleeping for crying out loud!! Why does everyone has to be extra loud, touching them when they KNOW they are sleeping??


----------



## BarefootScientist

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lin1235* 
Oh I forgot this one: BIL wanted to know if we'd given 7mo (at the time) dd lemon juice yet to see the expression on her face. huh? I'd purposefully give her something she'll really dislike for my enjoyment?

My dad did that to me when I was little (like, too little to be eating food). My mom said she saw him with a lemon and wondered what he was doing because they never had lemons and he said nothing, and she came back in and there he was with his finger in my mouth. lol


----------



## ashleyhaugh

lol, my nephew loved lemons... we went to a restaraunt with him when he was about a year, and they brought us a little bowl of lemon wedges for our tea, and he ate the whole bowl


----------



## triscuitsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ashleyhaugh* 
lol, my nephew loved lemons... we went to a restaraunt with him when he was about a year, and they brought us a little bowl of lemon wedges for our tea, and he ate the whole bowl









Agreed, my babe loves lemons. I don't know why anyone would assume their babe wouldn't like them without trying them on them... Tobias had them for the first time at about 7 months I think and has always loved them


----------



## Carlyle

This thread is a crackup!!! The silliest thing anyone has said to me was actually really funny to me (had to keep a poker face to keep from laughing out loud).

A random stranger lady I met at a tea shop said "Well he's all boy isn't he"....about my GIRL--after I had used the pronoun "she" several times and told her my dd's name "Nell"--I think she was a bit hard of hearing. Pretty funny!


----------



## lovebug

ok im not a mom yet but...

i get all the time! you go way over board! you dont need to CD'er, you should Circ, and who needs a HB!







:


----------



## MilkTrance

Quote:

Another one was first admiring the cute little feet hanging out (DS was sleeping and pretty well hidden under the wrap) and then repeated accusatory and obviously mad: I can't see him!!
Yeah, so what?? I already opened the wrap so he could take a look but obviously that wasn't good enough for him. He was sleeping for crying out loud!! Why does everyone has to be extra loud, touching them when they KNOW they are sleeping??
That reminds me of this pushy woman in the grocery store who, seeing my DS was asleep in his bassinet-carriage, wanted me to pick him up out of the carriage or lift the bonnet so she could see him better! I said no, he's sleeping and the bonnet protects his eyes from the flourescent lighting. She wasn't too happy, but too bad for her!


----------



## Angee

I was @ Mothers Group when one of the Mothers said to me "Breastfeeding is not what its cracked up to be, I dont see what the big fuss is"....I explained to her that my friends baby who is formula fed (is only 1mth older then my baby) has been sick with the flu 4 times plus has had an unknown virus, where as my ds has had the flu only once and wasnt as bad and only lasted couple of days. That shut her up about the issue.

Also on the subject of people touching your baby while in the sling.....My DS was sleeping and as I was paying for my shopping the sales assistant said "Oh Look, how cute" then she started trying to grab and touch his little hand that was resting on my breast....I was shocked that she didnt care for one that he was sleeping and the other that she was strocking my breast at the same time! How awkward....what do u say? LOL!


----------



## vloky

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jwpsgurl* 
I was on the phone with my mom the other day when DD who was trying to sit up, fell over onto one of her toys. She started crying a little so I picked her up to nurse her and my mom said "If you keep nursing her just to comfort her she is going to learn to be an emotional eater and then she is going to be fat"







:

I actually worry about this especially with the obesity on dp's male side..


----------



## brokensemaphore

My son is 12 weeks and has already doubled his birth weight (8 lb 2 oz). When I took him for a check up, afterward my grandmother asked me if the doctor told me to limit his feedings!!!







:


----------



## CorasMama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *vloky* 
I actually worry about this especially with the obesity on dp's male side..









Frankly, I'll always wonder about that, too. DD probably got most of her emotional eating tendencies from watching me, but I frequently wonder if it wasn't helped along by that, yk?


----------



## LovingMyHomeLife

We took our new baby girl (1 week old) to church. We sat next to the choir, which was made up mostly of elderly women and men. After the service, one of the choir women came up to me and pulled back the edge of my baby sling so that my daughter could "Get some oxygen! She can't breathe in that thing!!". I assured her that my daughter, who was peacefully sleeping the entire service, was getting plenty of oxygen. Geesh!!


----------



## jenP

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CorasMama* 
Frankly, I'll always wonder about that, too. DD probably got most of her emotional eating tendencies from watching me, but I frequently wonder if it wasn't helped along by that, yk?

I wouldn't worry at all. Nursing is how babies are SUPPOSED to be comforted. The eating thing gets messed up later when food (not breasts) is offered instead of mother's comfort. ("oh, you fell down, have a cookie!")
As Dr. Sears says, a need that is fulfilled goes away. If the child gets all the comfort he needs as a baby at the breast, he won't be searching, searching, searching for comfort later, shoving everything in his mouth yet still feeling unsatisfied.
So, offer that boob anytime you think your baby would like it, and don't be afraid!

Jen


----------



## lemurik

Finally read all the posts here








Here are some things I got to hear...

One-two weeks after my ds was born and I finally extablished a bf relationship
My Mom: Wouldn't it be faster to pump and feed him?
Me: Hm....pump for 30min, feed baby for 20 mins, clean up, sterialize bottle, repeat (not to mention nipple confusion). I think lifting the shirt and feeding him is faster.
To her credit, pumping did work for her trying to bf my sister who had latch problems (I was ff because her milk dried up from blood pressure meds) , but at that point I was already doing well.

Few days ago I was walking with my ds (now 14m) around the neighborhood. DS was wearing jeans and a blue shirt. A neighbor comes out of his car and greets us and we chat for a minute. Ds is pulling me to go and the man is commenting:
-Oh, HE is so cute.
Ten minutes later we pass the man again on our way home. He waves good-bye and sais:
-Soon SHE will be able to wave "bye-bye" too


----------



## amandabarugh

I've read many of these, and some of them are quite funny. Others have just left me flabergasted.

Some of my favorites:

My aunt told me I couldn't nurse around her sons because they were "at that impressionable age." Exactly, so let's teach them what women are really supposed to do with their breasts!

Same aunt told me that if Aidan had such severe reflux then she must be allergic to my milk and just needed to be on formula because her boys were are formula and they never had reflux. Good for your kids. Mine has severe GERD, which is an actual disease, not allergy to milk.

Same aunt also has told me that I should basically ignore Aidan's specialists and that she was just fine. Yeah, she's fine alright. That's why she can't gain weight without the help of a feeding tube, and that's also why she's considered extreme failure to thrive. Sounds perfectly healthy to me.







:


----------



## amberskyfire

One of my coworkers had just had a baby and was just returned to work. I was pregnant at the time and we were talking about breastfeeding. She breastfed, but would pump at work.

Our district manager came in one day and was so excited and asked how the baby was doing and then said "You aren't breastfeeding, ARE you? Oh, that is so disgusting, I can't believe you would do something so nasty and messed up! I never breastfed my daugther and she turned out perfect. DON'T be doing THAT around ME!"

We both stood there totally shocked. The woman was actually furious with us to the point of becoming hostile. It was UNBELIEVABLE! My coworker was so distraught that she walked out crying.


----------



## HappyFox05

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
One of my coworkers had just had a baby and was just returned to work. I was pregnant at the time and we were talking about breastfeeding. She breastfed, but would pump at work.

Our district manager came in one day and was so excited and asked how the baby was doing and then said "You aren't breastfeeding, ARE you? Oh, that is so disgusting, I can't believe you would do something so nasty and messed up! I never breastfed my daugther and she turned out perfect. DON'T be doing THAT around ME!"

We both stood there totally shocked. The woman was actually furious with us to the point of becoming hostile. It was UNBELIEVABLE! My coworker was so distraught that she walked out crying.


















: Sometimes ya gotta wonder what's up w/some ppl.


----------



## St. Margaret

Holy monkeys!! I would have made a complaint so fast to HR; I'm pretty sure that's some kind of violation or even sexual harrassment!!! Poor mamas! Good thing you had each other to know BF is beautiful and good









I got the ol' feed solids to help DD sleep longer from the stylist next to mine at the salon. Yeah, b/c my DD is teething, and the pain is making her wake, but stuffing her full of food her body's not ready for would help.


----------



## jelena

That is a TOTAL violation of a basic human right! Especially the part :"DON"T be doing THAT around ME". You have solid grounds for a complaint to the Human Rights Tribunal....

I am just OUTRAGED at this comment







: .... especially coming from your superior. You both should sue her a** off.

I am so sorry you had to go through this























mama to







: : Voya wife to







Harv


----------



## ThreeBeans

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jelena* 
That is a TOTAL violation of a basic human right! Especially the part :"DON"T be doing THAT around ME". You have solid grounds for a complaint to the Human Rights Tribunal....

I am just OUTRAGED at this comment







: .... especially coming from your superior. You both should sue her a** off.

I am so sorry you had to go through this























mama to







: : Voya wife to







Harv

She lives in Hawaii. We dont' have any federal legislation protecting our right to breastfeed. Some states (CT and VT) have made it a human right's issue, but the rest could care less.


----------



## vloky

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jenP* 
I wouldn't worry at all. Nursing is how babies are SUPPOSED to be comforted. The eating thing gets messed up later when food (not breasts) is offered instead of mother's comfort. ("oh, you fell down, have a cookie!")
As Dr. Sears says, a need that is fulfilled goes away. If the child gets all the comfort he needs as a baby at the breast, he won't be searching, searching, searching for comfort later, shoving everything in his mouth yet still feeling unsatisfied.
So, offer that boob anytime you think your baby would like it, and don't be afraid!

Jen

I do give him food too though. *ashamed* One day I even stuck a bit of chocolate in his mouth...


----------



## sothisislove

I gave away my bassinet and so i installed a toddler bed rail to replace the bassinet for it's all important purpose--holding up a pillow which keeps ds on his side so we can cuddle and nurse all night long...

mil saw this and said, 'doesn't Andrew like his bed?' (the crib dh insisted on) I said, well...when he sleeps in it, he cries when he wakes up at night. When he's in bed with me he never cries. She said, "Well, Andrew, you're going to have to learn to like your bed."

Hello?!!?...he doesn't hate the bed, he just loves being with me. And WHY does anything need to change?

Also...she was being totally serious when she said, "I think he'll end up with a studder when he starts talking b/c all a studder is is the brain working too fast for the mouth to keep up, and Andrew's just so smart!"

OMG....I'm glad she lives a couple of states away!


----------



## mama_lola

I watch a 3 month old during the week and have casually mentioned in passing conversation to his (very mainstream) mom that my LO doesn't eat from a bottle or sleep in her crib. One day as she was picking up her LO she said to him in this little baby voice "You need to teach Teagan how to eat from a bottle and sleep in her crib like a good baby, huh? You need to show her how to be good like you!"







: Um, no.


----------



## Cuau

This just happened a week ago

Stranger: Is it a girl or a boy
Me: It's a girl
Stranger: Ahw she is so cute
Aunt: See, that's why she needs to wear earings


----------



## MsLondon

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PumpkinSeeds* 
My MIL said that by nursing my ds I was going to turn him into a homosexual.

OH MY GOD!!! I am just astounded at the ignorance


----------



## MsLondon

DH's uncle said .... 'You kiss that baby too much'
what an ass.


----------



## gratefulbambina

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MsLondon* 
OH MY GOD!!! I am just astounded at the ignorance









yep straight men hate boobs


----------



## jenP

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gratefulbambina* 







yep straight men hate boobs

Yeah, and all the world was all gay, all the time up until formula was invented. The human race only went on 'cause women got pregnant from toilet seats.

Jen


----------



## MilkTrance

And before toilet seats were invented, they rolled around in the dirt like chinchillas, hoping to pick up some stray swimmers if YKWIM?


----------



## MommyofPunkiePie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MilkTrance* 
And before toilet seats were invented, they rolled around in the dirt like chinchillas, hoping to pick up some stray swimmers if YKWIM?


----------



## beanbean

A recent one from my mom -- she asked where our baby was sleeping at night and I said, "With us."

LONG PAUSE.

Mom: "Oh, you mean in your room! In the hammock?" (we have an Amby Hammock).

Me: "No, she's only in the Amby for naps. She's with us at night".

Mom, shocked: "NOT in your BED, RIGHT????!!!!!"

Me, calmly: "Yes, in our bed."

Mom, now sounding completely horrified: "Isn't that DANGEROUS??"

Me: "Yes, if you're drunk or on drugs. But I'm really aware of her all night, and she sleeps so well with us."

Mom, now sounding like I just said I give DD heroin to help her sleep: "Aren't you afraid you'll suffocate her??!!! That's SO dangerous!!"

Me: "We've co-slept with all of the children. And actually, there are some studies showing that co-sleeping reduces the risk of SIDS."

Mom, clearly trying to manipulate me with a guilt trip: "Well _I_ could _never_ sleep with _my_ children. I would be _too worried_ to sleep. It's too dangerous."

My mom, who surprisingly did not flinch at homebirth, homeschooling, non-vaxing, etc, threw an absolute hissy about the co-sleeping. Strange, huh?


----------



## HappyFox05

Ok, I finally have one. Was at my 32 week appointment today. When I told the dr/nurse (not sure which she was) that I'm declining the gestational diabetes test because: 1. only about 2.5-4% of American women develop it (info from books & CDC's website) and 2. I don't eat much sugar, so 50g would really make me feel lousy. Why feel lousy for a thing that I'm not at risk for? She told me that 50g of sugar is about 1/4 of a candy bar. I'm glad I don't live in her world!


----------



## cookinmama

The first time I met my sister-in-law my DD kept trying to get SIL's baby's bottle of formula. I would tell DD it wasn't for her. SIL asked if she was off a bottle and I said 'No. She's never had a bottle.' SIL asked 'Then how do you feed her???







Uh, Boobs.


----------



## ramlita

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HappyFox05* 
She told me that 50g of sugar is about 1/4 of a candy bar.









How ignorant do they think we are??

And if you were actually in the habit of eating candy bars, you'd certainly have an idea of how much sugar is in one.


----------



## RadiantMama

teething baby nursing won't stop ANK
so
the other day i was checking books out at library and some woman walked up said "excuse me, you tag is out, let me get it for you" and DID IT without asking first as if i were someone she knew
how intrusive
anyway:
OT baptizing--if it's just the mil or whomever sprinkling secretly, it won't affect the baby either way, and it might make them sleep easier and have a better relationship with you...just watch out for later in life if they want to intrude into your spirituality. I'm pagan and raising my kids that way, and they know that other people have different ideas of religion also, but my parents respect our choices. I guess I'm lucky that way. I just think that if someone TRULY believes that the baby will go to hell if they don't have a little water sprinkled on their head will rest easier. Wow--weird that the baby doesn't have the choice to pay taxes (okay, I guess you can opt out) later in life due to RELIGION. Which makes me think of the US and how these poor kids are BORN into this lifestyle and society and government which SUCKS and they have to follow laws they might not agree to....gotta stop, I could go on.
---Quote (Originally by eunytuny)---
From now on, when people ask why i make the decisions I make for my son, i am going
to say "because I'm quirky".








---End Quote---
how about: "because I'm Right?"







If enough of us say I'm quirky, the quirky will BE the mainstream!


----------



## HappyFox05

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ramlita* 







How ignorant do they think we are??

And if you were actually in the habit of eating candy bars, you'd certainly have an idea of how much sugar is in one.









When I got back to work, I bought a Twix out of the machine, just to check. 27g of sugar. So, you know, 1/4 of a bar, 2x what's in a bar - it's all good.


----------



## MilkTrance

O/T, they made me take the GD test three times when I was pg because I am a large person and of COURSE that means I'd have GD, right? The doctor even said that she was "certain" I had it.


----------



## jsmama

Gummy bears are a good breakfast food because they are made with fruit juice! Cheetos are great "cheese" snacks!!!


----------



## ThreeBeans

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HappyFox05* 
Ok, I finally have one. Was at my 32 week appointment today. When I told the dr/nurse (not sure which she was) that I'm declining the gestational diabetes test because: 1. only about 2.5-4% of American women develop it (info from books & CDC's website) and 2. I don't eat much sugar, so 50g would really make me feel lousy. Why feel lousy for a thing that I'm not at risk for? She told me that 50g of sugar is about 1/4 of a candy bar. I'm glad I don't live in her world!

She's right...it's really no more sugar than eating less than half of a candy bar.


----------



## Magali

When a nurse, after frowning on my use of cloth diapers, said that for a "special treat" for myself, I could use disposables on ds.







: Yeah right...chemical, fake baby smell diapers are such a special treat!


----------



## cheeseRjedi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cookinmama* 
The first time I met my sister-in-law my DD kept trying to get SIL's baby's bottle of formula. I would tell DD it wasn't for her. SIL asked if she was off a bottle and I said 'No. She's never had a bottle.' SIL asked 'Then how do you feed her???







Uh, Boobs.


----------



## the_lissa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ThreeBeans* 
She's right...it's really no more sugar than eating less than half of a candy bar.

Um my full size mars bar (and I compared the grams of sugar in other bars at the store) has 37 g of sugar, so it is more than half a chocolate bad.


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *the_lissa* 
........ chocolate bad.

Is this a Freudian slip?


----------



## the_lissa

No chocolate good, very good.


----------



## HappyFox05

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ThreeBeans* 
She's right...it's really no more sugar than eating less than half of a candy bar.

All I know is, the two I looked at - Twix & Baby Ruth - both had 27g of sugar per package or less. If 50g is less than half of that, then I need to go back to school. Unless 50g in Glucola world is somehow different from 50g in candy bar world.


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HappyFox05* 
She told me that 50g of sugar is about 1/4 of a candy bar. I'm glad I don't live in her world!

I guess she thinks every candy bar contains exactly 200 grams of sugar.


----------



## Shenjall

mmmm...candy bars.......


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shenjall* 
mmmm...candy bars.......











But I'm craving anything chocolate,









since I always do this time of the month.


----------



## NewMama2007

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HappyFox05* 
Ok, I finally have one. Was at my 32 week appointment today. When I told the dr/nurse (not sure which she was) that I'm declining the gestational diabetes test because: 1. only about 2.5-4% of American women develop it (info from books & CDC's website) and 2. I don't eat much sugar, so 50g would really make me feel lousy. Why feel lousy for a thing that I'm not at risk for? She told me that 50g of sugar is about 1/4 of a candy bar. I'm glad I don't live in her world!

Ick. FWIW, I did have the testing, and don't typically eat much sugar, and I did feel quite lousy.


----------



## syn_ack89

After reading 229 pages...

I guess I really haven't had any bad comments. Nothing comes to mind, in any case.

On the "Is your baby good" line...I think it's just a conversation item for most people. Just like saying "Hi, how are you?". A lot of the time they don't really want a reply to the question, but are just opening a dialogue.


----------



## jayayenay

Quote:


Originally Posted by *syn_ack89* 
On the "Is your baby good" line...I think it's just a conversation item for most people. Just like saying "Hi, how are you?". A lot of the time they don't really want a reply to the question, but are just opening a dialogue.

Yeah, but it's a dumb conversation starter, imo. Why not just say, "Oh, what a cute baby! Aren't children wonderful?"


----------



## Lady Lilya

When you eat very little sugar, your body gets used to it and reduces its production and storage of insulin. So, if you do that horrible test, there is a period where you don't have enough insulin and you are waiting for your body to make it, where you would feel like crap.

I don't eat sugar. For years. But, on occasion people lie to me about ingredients (especially restaurants), and I feel so horrible. It is hard to describe the sensation with a list of physical symptoms. It is just plain horrible with no descriptors. It is as if the portion of the brain that knows horrible is triggering, without feeling any other specific sensations. But any slight physical irritant is unbearable during that time. Like needing to pee but not being near a toilet. When that happened, I felt like I was going to throw up and pass out.

Needless to say, I was not subjecting my fetus to that.


----------



## angrypixiemama

Yeah, I don't do a lot of sugar either. And I thought I was going to pass out during the first test they made me take at the doctor's office. Two weeks later I had to do the one where you drink 2 bottles of that stuff. I was out of it for the rest of the day. And of course, both were negative. But at that time I was a bigger girl, so they were all convinced that I was GD. If you can avoid that test and are a healthy eater, go for it.


----------



## CorasMama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ThreeBeans* 
She's right...it's really no more sugar than eating less than half of a candy bar.

No, (and she said about 1/4, not 1/2) I have to beg to differ here. My Skor bar I'm saving for later has 24g of sugar, and a Snickers has 28g.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ThreeBeans* 
She's right...it's really no more sugar than eating less than half of a candy bar.

No, the typical candy bar is around 300 calories and 26 grams of sugar. 50g of sugar would be like eating almost 2 candy bars. If you're someone who never eats candy bars that would really shock your body.


----------



## acp

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Magali* 
When a nurse, after frowning on my use of cloth diapers, said that for a "special treat" for myself, I could use disposables on ds.







: Yeah right...chemical, fake baby smell diapers are such a special treat!

Not to mention the mess! Maybe it's just us, but whenever we put DD in disposables (we've done it several times when traveling, because it's just too much hassle to pack all the CDs and deal with laundry, etc), she reliably has almost one poop blow-out a day. She (almost) never has one with her cloth dipes. I don't think any of my friends believe me when I tell them that cloth dipes really are easier and less messy, but I know DH and I can't wait to get back to them after a few days of sposie blow-outs!


----------



## MsLondon

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cookinmama* 
The first time I met my sister-in-law my DD kept trying to get SIL's baby's bottle of formula. I would tell DD it wasn't for her. SIL asked if she was off a bottle and I said 'No. She's never had a bottle.' SIL asked 'Then how do you feed her???







Uh, Boobs.


----------



## Animal_Lady

1) When I told my parents I was pregnant, 5 years ago, my step-dad told me I "was an idiot for getting knocked up."
2) My now ExH told me he didn't want ME to go to LLL meetings because they are all crazy militants there.
3) And one time we had an old lady chase us down in a store and tried to put HER hat on DD because if she wasn't wearing a hat she would get sick and die!


----------



## mimiharshe

ok, dd is 5 days old and today my grandparents asked if i had given her a bottle yet (expecting me to say yes) and g-ma asked where her pacifier was? in their defense they don't mean any harm, but it's hard when my nipples are sore and i'm thinking "oh gosh, the easy way out would be nice right about now"







:


----------



## RadiantMama

So last night I ran into a woman at the grocery store who said to 14-month old daughter:
"Well, do you want a drink or not"
and proceeded to feed her child in the cart Pepsi-Cola.

I asked her about it and she replied:
"Well, she wanted it!"

wow.


----------



## bigeyes

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RadiantMama* 
So last night I ran into a woman at the grocery store who said to 14-month old daughter:
"Well, do you want a drink or not"
and proceeded to feed her child in the cart Pepsi-Cola.

I asked her about it and she replied:
"Well, she wanted it!"

wow.

indeed. I _want_ a pack of cigarettes and a case of beer.







: I'm having some filtered water.


----------



## jes_mar_wak_hod

Well...

I think I've got all the usual stuff since my daughter was born in may!









People asking if she is a good baby, if she sleeps thru the night yet, if she is spoiled, etc.

Also people trying to feed her without asking me. Grrr. But at this point I don't mind if she tastes something. I will stick a dot on my finger and put it in her mouth but no way am I sitting her down and getting her to SWALLOW stuff!!

A lady today asked if I give her teething biscuits yet. She is 5 months old! She would choke! And then said that if she had plain tortilla chips with her shw would give them to DD to chew on.

Everyone assumes that she eats cereal and food. And they try to get me to giver enchiladas, brownies cookies, etc.







:

And when I said that she breastfeeds a lot, people tell me to start feeding her baby food to fill her up. Hey lady, I wasn't complaining! She can exclusively nurse until she is 2 for all I care!









Oh yes, my MIL. She has gone off twice(once when she was 4 months old) about how we are starving her and how a baby her age cannot survive off of just breastmilk, and that we neede to go to walmart and get her some stage one baby food. We plan on waiting until at least 6 months. When my DP informed her that I was exclusively breastfed until age 1, she actually said, "So that's what's wrong with them!" In front of me too! Excuse me?!!?







:







:







: She never breastfed any of her children a drop of course.

I hate it when people "speak for the baby", yk? "I want some brownie! Mommy, give me some food, I'm hungry! That smells so good!!" Very annoying!!!

I think the worst thing that has happened was this: An acquaintance of DP's(they used to work together but barely know each other) came up to me at the grocery store and just grabbed DD out of my arms without asking. That bothered me but I thought she just wanted to hold her for a sec and didn't say anything. But then she says, "Now we are going to leave your momy and go grocery shopping!" I thought she was joking but no, off she goes!!!!







: I had to almost run to catch up with her! I had stood there in shock for a moment but when she disappeared from sight I went for my baby! I felt so violated and upset that she just grabbed her and zoomed off. I am super shy though, and just wanted to LEAVE so I just went up, took her back, and said that we were leaving. My DP definitely had a few things to say to her later though. Haha.

Luckily, though, I have never had any issues with NIP(only in my MIL's living room














and everyone thinks that the babywearing is the best and most adorable thing ever.

Well, I'll prolly think of some more later....









BTW, almost no one knows about vaccine waivers!!!







:







My MIL insists that you can only refuse in cases of previous reactions....


----------



## Twinklefae

Well, I've finally got one! I was on the phone to my grandmother who is in England and hasn't met DS yet. She was asking how he slept and I said great, as he usually gets a 5 hour stretch during the night, and no wonder, since he was so close to us during the night.

She asked if his crib was next to the bed, and I said, no he's in the bed with us. She said "Oh, Sarah, NO!" as though I had just told her that Ds was ill. It was a seriously tragic tone of voice! I spouted off some facts, and she gave up (I have a diploma in Early Childhood Education, and therefore know everythign about everythign so far as she is concerned... not that that stops her worrying) But seriously! YOu'd have thought I told her we were about to be out on the street or something!







:


----------



## mummy111

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PumpkinSeeds* 
My MIL said that by nursing my ds I was going to turn him into a homosexual.

THAT'S THE FUNNIEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD...







well, it isn't, really, but WTF??? Was she on drugs?


----------



## HappyFox05

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mimiharshe* 
ok, dd is 5 days old and today my grandparents asked if i had given her a bottle yet (expecting me to say yes) and g-ma asked where her pacifier was? in their defense they don't mean any harm, but it's hard when my nipples are sore and i'm thinking "oh gosh, the easy way out would be nice right about now"







:


If it was someone other than g-ma, you could've said, "We have two pacifiers.







And they never get lost - we always know right where they are!


----------



## MilkTrance

Quote:


Originally Posted by *acp* 
Not to mention the mess! Maybe it's just us, but whenever we put DD in disposables (we've done it several times when traveling, because it's just too much hassle to pack all the CDs and deal with laundry, etc), she reliably has almost one poop blow-out a day. She (almost) never has one with her cloth dipes. I don't think any of my friends believe me when I tell them that cloth dipes really are easier and less messy, but I know DH and I can't wait to get back to them after a few days of sposie blow-outs!

Why the heck would a nurse frown upon cloth diapers?







:

I have to remember that nurses are regular people, too, with regular-people hangups and PLAIN OLD IGNORANCE! However, they ought to be held up to a higher standard.

The community nurse that came to our house after baby was born was really intrigued by our cloth diapers.


----------



## MilkTrance

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jes_mar_wak_hod* 
Well...

Oh yes, my MIL. She has gone off twice(once when she was 4 months old) about how we are starving her and how a baby her age cannot survive off of just breastmilk, and that we neede to go to walmart and get her some stage one baby food. We plan on waiting until at least 6 months. When my DP informed her that I was exclusively breastfed until age 1, she actually said, "So that's what's wrong with them!" In front of me too! Excuse me?!!?







:







:







: She never breastfed any of her children a drop of course.


You should ask her what she figures babies ate before baby food was invented

Does she realise what a PITA it would have been to NOT rely on breastmilk when food was scarce?


----------



## TinyMama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HappyFox05* 
Ok, I finally have one. Was at my 32 week appointment today. When I told the dr/nurse (not sure which she was) that I'm declining the gestational diabetes test because: 1. only about 2.5-4% of American women develop it (info from books & CDC's website) and 2. I don't eat much sugar, so 50g would really make me feel lousy. Why feel lousy for a thing that I'm not at risk for? She told me that 50g of sugar is about 1/4 of a candy bar. I'm glad I don't live in her world!

HappyFox, while I support your effort to resist the glucose tolerance test, I DO suggest you ask your dr. for a blood test (should be a one-time deal, fasting blood sugar test) or a testing kit so you can test your own. The glucose tolerance test is ridiculous, esp. b/c they don't standardize what you eat in the 24 hrs. before you take it, so you're right--it will just make you feel crappy for no good reason. But GD was a really big issue for me during pg, and not knowing I had it was very dangerous--next time, I'll just assume I have it right from the beginning. Not trying to butt in here, but that's my two cents on that.









And now, ahem...
Out with DD (5mo) and a little boy I mentor (7yo) yesterday, in Starbucks.

Old Lady with Large Coffee and Larger Hair, as I pull up my shirt (discreetly, btw): "Oh, dear, you're not going to nurse her HERE, are you?"
My little buddy: "Well, YOU'RE eating here, aren't you?"
Old Lady: "Humph!"
My little buddy: "Humph! to you! You're mean!"

Of course, part of the reason I mentor Little Buddy is to help him get his outbursts under control (he has Asperger's), but I told him, "Little buddy, sticking up for people is a time when it's okay to say what you think."


----------



## umami_mommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MilkTrance* 
The community nurse that came to our house after baby was born was really intrigued by our cloth diapers.

our second and now former ped was so AMAZED at our cloth diapers... you'd think the woman was rasied on a 'sposie farm! i mean it's just a piece of cloth with some snaps, not like brain surgery or anything......


----------



## jenP

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mimiharshe* 
ok, dd is 5 days old and today my grandparents asked if i had given her a bottle yet (expecting me to say yes) and g-ma asked where her pacifier was? in their defense they don't mean any harm, but it's hard when my nipples are sore and i'm thinking "oh gosh, the easy way out would be nice right about now"







:

Don't worry, it really isn't the easy way out, at least it wasn't for me. Based on AP books and such, I too was convinced that pacifiers were evil but that if used they shut your baby right up. So, desperate to soothe my baby who hated the car, I tried giving her pacifiers. Tried it repeatedly. She wanted nothing to do with them. The second child hated the car, too. I tried pacifiers with him even earlier. I was just looking to be able to make a 10-minute drive without the baby blowing a gasket, I had no problem nursing right before and right after and, on longer trips, stopping several times to nurse. But if we could only drive a few feet at least... but the pacifiers did nothing. No help at all. Not soothing to the baby at all. So it's likely you aren't missing out on a break, anyway, by foregoing pacifiers.

Jen


----------



## ramlita

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TinyMama* 

Old Lady: "Humph!"
My little buddy: "Humph! to you! You're mean!"

Of course, part of the reason I mentor Little Buddy is to help him get his outbursts under control (he has Asperger's), but I told him, "Little buddy, sticking up for people is a time when it's okay to say what you think."

















:














:


----------



## mummyc

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jes_mar_wak_hod* 

I think the worst thing that has happened was this: An acquaintance of DP's(they used to work together but barely know each other) came up to me at the grocery store and just grabbed DD out of my arms without asking. That bothered me but I thought she just wanted to hold her for a sec and didn't say anything. But then she says, "Now we are going to leave your momy and go grocery shopping!" I thought she was joking but no, off she goes!!!!







: I had to almost run to catch up with her! I had stood there in shock for a moment but when she disappeared from sight I went for my baby! I felt so violated and upset that she just grabbed her and zoomed off. I am super shy though, and just wanted to LEAVE so I just went up, took her back, and said that we were leaving. My DP definitely had a few things to say to her later though. Haha.

Luckily, though, I have never had any issues with NIP(only in my MIL's living room














and everyone thinks that the babywearing is the best and most adorable thing ever.


Whaaat?!!!!









That's just wrong! What is up with some people?! Seriously!!!

I've not had any more bad advice recently, esp as DD's on solids now... just the usual "don't pick her up so much" stuff and "you're _still_ breastfeeding?"


----------



## Magali

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MilkTrance* 
Why the heck would a nurse frown upon cloth diapers?







:

I have to remember that nurses are regular people, too, with regular-people hangups and PLAIN OLD IGNORANCE! However, they ought to be held up to a higher standard.

The community nurse that came to our house after baby was born was really intrigued by our cloth diapers.

Yep, she frowned on the cding (I'm assuming 'cause she thought it was gross), the not giving vit d, and the non-vaxing. All these things said to me in my own home. I didn't argue with her or explain myself...not gonna defend myself in my own living room! She was great about breastfeeding though.


----------



## CorasMama

I can't remember if I posted this here yet...

So back in May, my stepmom and her boyfriend (my dad and DsM are divorced) took Cora for a weekend so I could go on a trip with my boyfriend. A few months later, she called me to express some "concerns". Apparently, while they were having dinner with a few other people, Cora had been acting like she had a right to be part of the conversation. Also, when DsM had asked her to come help her in the kitchen, Cora had responded, "okay, give me just a second to finish this up." Which, had she been an adult, is totally normal. But because she is a kid, she doesn't have the right to say that. She must obey immediately.

I'm such a bad mom, raising my child to believe that she is deserving of respect equal to that given an adult... let me go hang my head in shame now...







:


----------



## RadiantMama

So many people have said to me: "I just don't understand how cloth diapers work!"

You can abstain from vaxxing with a religious exemption, and by law you don't have to explain your religion.

"I'm such a bad mom, raising my child to believe that she is deserving of respect
equal to that given an adult... let me go hang my head in shame now... "
I hope you are being sarcastic!
WOW...don't leave her with them again! I raise my kids the same way...and I think that all children treated with respect will respect others a lot more easily. What gall.

The idea that Breastmilk isn't enough is part of what is causing high infant mortality in countries where people have little access to formula and baby food--they are told something which just isn't true, then their babies die in front of them when they themselves have the nourishment to save them. This may happen in the US too!!! sick. just sick.

A pacifier works for my DP sometimes when I am away and he's trying to get the baby to sleep. I like how in England they call the pacifier a "dummy."


----------



## acp

I spent last weekend with my parents, and my dad, who hadn't seen DD since she was a month old or so, asked me, in all seriousness, if I was worried about her weight or if I needed to put her on a "diet". (She's 4 months old, and probably around 18 lbs - adorable big cheeks and truly massive thighs and legs and tummy that I also find incredibly kissable and cute). I wasn't mad, just amused, because he was so totally clueless and in earnest.
I gently explained that this was a GOOD age to be chubby and there was no way she could be eating too much breast milk, which is the only food she's ever had. THen my mom dug out an old photo of my older brother, who at 4 months old was even fatter than my DD, just to remind my dad that babies are, in fact, often chunky .


----------



## Lady Lilya

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RadiantMama* 
The idea that Breastmilk isn't enough is part of what is causing high infant mortality in countries where people have little access to formula and baby food--they are told something which just isn't true, then their babies die in front of them when they themselves have the nourishment to save them. This may happen in the US too!!! sick. just sick.

There is a very high rate of malnutrition in the US. Even many obese people are malnourished. Because the standard American diet is lacking in many important nutrients.


----------



## mum4boys

My oldest who will be 17 tomorrow was 24 pounds at 4 months. Dh was in the Marine Corps. The WIC office was located at the Navy hospital. I went to WIC then to a well baby check up. WIC told me my baby was over weight and needed to go on a diet and I needed to stop breast feeding so much. I told our dr. this who went ballistic and marched ds and me back to the WIC office where he let the caseworker have an earful of how breastfed babies cannot be overfed and she was never ever tell a patient of his to go on a diet.


----------



## amberskyfire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mum4boys* 
My oldest who will be 17 tomorrow was 24 pounds at 4 months. Dh was in the Marine Corps. The WIC office was located at the Navy hospital. I went to WIC then to a well baby check up. WIC told me my baby was over weight and needed to go on a diet and I needed to stop breast feeding so much. I told our dr. this who went ballistic and marched ds and me back to the WIC office where he let the caseworker have an earful of how breastfed babies cannot be overfed and she was never ever tell a patient of his to go on a diet.


WHOA! That is SO awesome that your doc stood up for you.

One of the first things my doctor did at my 12 week appt. was to tell me I could pick up some formula coupons on my way out the door and asked me what brand I would be using.







:


----------



## meaghann

From great-grandma: You can too spoil a baby!

From ped dentist: You should stop breastfeeding by now. The sugars are not good for his teeth.

From random senior citizen ladies at church: Stop bouncing and rocking him! He'll get used to it.


----------



## MilkTrance

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TinyMama* 

Old Lady with Large Coffee and Larger Hair, as I pull up my shirt (discreetly, btw): "Oh, dear, you're not going to nurse her HERE, are you?"
My little buddy: "Well, YOU'RE eating here, aren't you?"
Old Lady: "Humph!"
My little buddy: "Humph! to you! You're mean!"

Of course, part of the reason I mentor Little Buddy is to help him get his outbursts under control (he has Asperger's), but I told him, "Little buddy, sticking up for people is a time when it's okay to say what you think."









I love it.


----------



## Heather423

It is just amazing that people are so stupid. I have a friend who is pregnant and she said she tried to nurse her DD, who is 11, but she wouldn't latch right, so she started pumping right away, and for 3 months. I told her it took me a long time for DD to get used to it and latch right, and I just stuck it out. Formula wasn't even an option for me. I never dreamed of quitting, I was bound and determined to make it work, and it did. It is difficult, it is so so so sad when I hear women who don't even bother trying or quit if it is too difficult! AAARRRGGHHHHHHH. Women educate yourselves and quit listening to stupid doctors!

Anyway I have a really funny one from my grandmother who is 90. She said she tried to breastfeed her two oldest, but her milk turned into water! lol.... She gave her children Carnation milk! AAARRRRGGGHHH. Well they are now diabetic and have stomach/reflux issues! DUH! And the best.... "Breast milk is bad for babies and you have to watch what you eat".....


----------



## Ellp

Dd#2 (4mo) has lots of hair. As in 2 inches long and sticks straight up. She's also at the age where she rubs the hair on the sides and back of her head off, so she's kinda balding at the sides and back... Get the mental picture?









hint... she looks like a punk rocker who just stuck their finger in a light socket.

Anyways, wherever we go, we get lots of attention, mostly comments on her hair. One lady came up to me all shocked and a little horrified asked me:

"What did you do to her hair? Did you perm it?"

I tried so hard not to laugh in her face...


----------



## In Exile

Oh, I got a good justification oh how Ferber is actually GOOD for your kid.







:

Direct quote:
Well, My daughter used the ferberish method i call it i would let her cry out for a couple of minutes it is good for them to learn how to fall asleep on there own. I would of course go in and tell her i loved her and that is was night night time and rub her back for a few minutes then go out again. I was told to use this method by my doctors and they explained that is doesn't hurt your children in any way, and won't make them feel abandoned as long as they are feed and clean and remain that way while they cry.























Another good one was a mom telling me that it's okay to let a 14 months old cry because then they "learn to self-soothe" and that in return gives them a boost of confidence because they finally have a positive "i did it myself" attitude.uke


----------



## gurglebaby

I had to visit the doctor when my baby was 3 weeks because he had an eye infection. Turned out to be a plugged tear duct. While I was there he asked me how the breastfeeding was going and how often I did it. I told him I didn't count because I breastfed on demand. He looked at me completely shocked and said "I guess your not getting any sleep then". He then asked me if I was vaccinating and I told him I wasn't. He so kindly told me to come in with my husband so that we could "discuss" vaccinating. Ok sure if I come in with my dh it will all go so different and he will see reason because he's a man and therefore knows all. I don't think so! I will never go back to that absolutely condecending doctor.







: He said as I was leaving that he'd see me at ds 6 week check up. Actually you won't be because babies and people that are healthy don't need a check up but thanks anyways!


----------



## MilkTrance

OMG that's pulled on me SO MANY times, the "husband" thing. As if my husband controls me. The Voice of Reason. Whatever. Sometimes I think DH is even more protective than I am.

Yesterday in the grocery store, DH was with DS (by themselves). DS was in his bucket in a shopping cart. DH reached for something and in his peripheral vision he saw an older man reach for DS. DH flipped out and said in a menacing tone "don't come any closer, brother"... lol... the older man was like wow, sorry. And DH then apologized and said, look, don't just grab at my baby without asking, it freaks me out! Then they had a good laugh about it together.

But anyway.


----------



## AmandaTN

My coworkers drive me crazy.

In addition to thinking co-sleeping is a one-way ticket to a dead baby (they are so adamant about this that I don't even discuss co-sleeping usually), I recently heard that:

--you can't breastfeed twins or multiple siblings. Reasons: there is no WAY you'll have enough milk. Just not possible. Nope. Never going to happen.

--when discussing formula with a friend who is due in December (she won't breastfeed, because she couldn't/didn't with her first two, so she thinks she won't be able to this time either), she asked me if I thought she should get powdered formula or ready made. I told her ready made, since it is more sterile. Another coworker just looked at me in disgust and told me that's not true. She made the statement "a baby's stomach isn't sterile, so what's the difference." I tried to explain that wasn't true, but since I'm the young, unchilded one, I'm ignorant about these things.

--on starting solids: they'll starve to death on milk alone. At ANY time. Cereal in the formula from week 1 on. The friend that's having the baby in December told me that her oldest had pineapple milkshake at 2 weeks old. Eggs, gravy, mashed potatoes, any and everything from birth.

I will NOT address the issue of CIO with any of them, because my head may very well explode if they advocate it.

(By the way, my coworkers? All nurses.)


----------



## Harmony96

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AmandaTN* 
her oldest had pineapple milkshake at 2 weeks old. Eggs, gravy, mashed potatoes, any and everything from birth.

Wow.


----------



## Lady Lilya

I've never had a pineapple milk shake. Not sure if I would like it. I am not big on acidy fruits with milk.


----------



## jamiew

My 6 month old daugther loves to chew the sides of plastic ice coffee cups because of the cold. My husband was out with her at the coffee shop, letting her lick the side, and this old lady said "You should'nt give your baby coffee!"

Does this woman drink her coffee out of the _side_ of her cup? What is she thinking??


----------



## CanidFL

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MilkTrance* 
Yesterday in the grocery store, DH was with DS (by themselves). DS was in his bucket in a shopping cart. DH reached for something and in his peripheral vision he saw an older man reach for DS. DH flipped out and said in a menacing tone "don't come any closer, brother"... lol... the older man was like wow, sorry. And DH then apologized and said, look, don't just grab at my baby without asking, it freaks me out! Then they had a good laugh about it together.

Wow that would freak me out too. Yesterday DH and I were in the grocery store and he was holding ds who was sleeping. Well like most babies, my ds has a bendy neck and his head goes to the side while sleeping. These two women come up and told my dh that he isn't holding the baby right then told me I shouldn't let him hold the baby!!

The other day my MIL saw my ds white tongue which is normal for bf babies. She told me it looks like thrush and I should give him honey to prevent that







:


----------



## User101

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jamiew* 
My 6 month old daugther loves to chew the sides of plastic ice coffee cups because of the cold. My husband was out with her at the coffee shop, letting her lick the side, and this old lady said "You should'nt give your baby coffee!"

Does this woman drink her coffee out of the _side_ of her cup? What is she thinking??

So if she saw the pics of my oldest gumming a cold beer bottle at a seminary picnic, her head would probably explode.


----------



## mummyc

CanidFL said:


> The other day my MIL saw my ds white tongue which is normal for bf babies. QUOTE]
> 
> See I had no idea that was normal!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I learn a lot from this site, I love it!


----------



## Gumby

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AmandaTN* 
My coworkers drive me crazy.

In addition to thinking co-sleeping is a one-way ticket to a dead baby (they are so adamant about this that I don't even discuss co-sleeping usually), I recently heard that:

--you can't breastfeed twins or multiple siblings. Reasons: there is no WAY you'll have enough milk. Just not possible. Nope. Never going to happen.

--when discussing formula with a friend who is due in December (she won't breastfeed, because she couldn't/didn't with her first two, so she thinks she won't be able to this time either), she asked me if I thought she should get powdered formula or ready made. I told her ready made, since it is more sterile. Another coworker just looked at me in disgust and told me that's not true. She made the statement "a baby's stomach isn't sterile, so what's the difference." I tried to explain that wasn't true, but since I'm the young, unchilded one, I'm ignorant about these things.

--on starting solids: they'll starve to death on milk alone. At ANY time. Cereal in the formula from week 1 on. The friend that's having the baby in December told me that her oldest had pineapple milkshake at 2 weeks old. Eggs, gravy, mashed potatoes, any and everything from birth.

I will NOT address the issue of CIO with any of them, because my head may very well explode if they advocate it.

(By the way, my coworkers? All nurses.)











Scary. I'm sorry that's your work environment. Sorry for the kiddos too.


----------



## amberskyfire

When I told my husband I was going to cloth diaper our babies he looked at me like I was crazy and said "Isn't that...unsanitary?"

I just looked at him and said "not any more than wearing underwear you've worn before and washed."

He kind of thought about that a second and said "oh, yeah. I guess that makes sense."


----------



## Throkmorton

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
So if she saw the pics of my oldest gumming a cold beer bottle at a seminary picnic, her head would probably explode.









The face that is was a *seminary* picnic gives it a +10 to awesome.
One of my favorite pictures of DD is her trying to drink out of an empty beer can at easter, all dressed up.


----------



## User101

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Throkmorton* 
The face that is was a *seminary* picnic gives it a +10 to awesome.
One of my favorite pictures of DD is her trying to drink out of an empty beer can at easter, all dressed up.

Well, it was a Lutheran seminary. Beer was a form of currency there.


----------



## mum4boys

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AmandaTN* 
My coworkers drive me crazy.

In addition to thinking co-sleeping is a one-way ticket to a dead baby (they are so adamant about this that I don't even discuss co-sleeping usually), I recently heard that:

--you can't breastfeed twins or multiple siblings. Reasons: there is no WAY you'll have enough milk. Just not possible. Nope. Never going to happen.

--when discussing formula with a friend who is due in December (she won't breastfeed, because she couldn't/didn't with her first two, so she thinks she won't be able to this time either), she asked me if I thought she should get powdered formula or ready made. I told her ready made, since it is more sterile. Another coworker just looked at me in disgust and told me that's not true. She made the statement "a baby's stomach isn't sterile, so what's the difference." I tried to explain that wasn't true, but since I'm the young, unchilded one, I'm ignorant about these things.

--on starting solids: they'll starve to death on milk alone. At ANY time. Cereal in the formula from week 1 on. The friend that's having the baby in December told me that her oldest had pineapple milkshake at 2 weeks old. Eggs, gravy, mashed potatoes, any and everything from birth.

I will NOT address the issue of CIO with any of them, because my head may very well explode if they advocate it.

(By the way, my coworkers? All nurses.)









:







:








Maybe you could tell us where you work because if someone is that ignorant I do not want any health care from them.


----------



## gurglebaby

A friend of my husband's was visiting with his 10 month old daughter. He told us how his wife stopped breastfeeding at 6 months. He justified it by saying the WHO recommends breastfeeding for 2 years but that's only for 3rd world countries where they have dirty water!


----------



## FarmerCathy

How more ignorant can you get? I guess it does sound like something my mom would say though.


----------



## Ellp

Dd#2 (4mo) has recently learned how to roll over. She doesn't know how to roll back though and gets tired and frustrated if no one rolls her back. She doesn't know how to sit yet and isn't strong enough to.

So my dad was over the other day and was watching Dd#2 do her roll overs. He starts in on me by saying how I should have taught her how to sit properly instead of teaching her how to roll over! He said that by rolling over, all she gets is a face full of carpet, but if she knew how to sit, she could see whats going on in the world!

You can tell he was a real involved father eh?







:


----------



## LaurenB

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ellp* 
Dd#2 (4mo) has recently learned how to roll over. She doesn't know how to roll back though and gets tired and frustrated if no one rolls her back. She doesn't know how to sit yet and isn't strong enough to.

So my dad was over the other day and was watching Dd#2 do her roll overs. He starts in on me by saying how I should have taught her how to sit properly instead of teaching her how to roll over! He said that by rolling over, all she gets is a face full of carpet, but if she knew how to sit, she could see whats going on in the world!

You can tell he was a real involved father eh?







:









: That's brilliant.


----------



## umami_mommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gurglebaby* 
A friend of my husband's was visiting with his 10 month old daughter. He told us how his wife stopped breastfeeding at 6 months. He justified it by saying the WHO recommends breastfeeding for 2 years but that's only for 3rd world countries where they have dirty water!









right, cause you know how pure the water is here in the US.....


----------



## minkajane

I’m in the military. I had a Chief tell me that since I don’t vaccinate my son, I must not have any trust in my leadership and that maybe the military’s not the career for me. Somehow, in his mind, if you don’t do everything an authority tells you to do (including military docs who try to force vaxes on you), then you don’t trust the leadership and obviously you’ll never do anything you’re told and you’ll just be trouble. He completely overlooked the fact that I’ve been given several awards for achievement and I’m the supervisor of the HR office for our unit of 2000+ people.


----------



## In Exile

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LaurenB* 







: That's brilliant.


Yeah and I was just told yesterday that I should leave my screaming 8 months old after a face plant on the rug screaming his head off. NEVER help them because that's the only way they should learn how to sit.







:


----------



## MissE

Quote:


Originally Posted by *In Exile* 
Yeah and I was just told yesterday that I should leave my screaming 8 months old after a face plant on the rug screaming his head off. NEVER help them because that's the only way they should learn how to sit.







:

Ooohh, we must be visiting the same boards then. Someone told me exactly the same yesterday.


----------



## arelyn

I was visiting my parents and my aunt stopped by. I was feeding DS (2mo) and this conversation happened:

Aunt: That's what used to disgust me about J, she used to just let L climb on her lap and lift up her shirt and just...::shudder::
Me: Actually they say babies should nurse until they're two.
Aunt: Ugh! I don't know about that.
Mom: Well, L probably has a better immune system than any of us here.
(Go Mom!!!!!!!!







)
Aunt: But isn't it just encouraging an obsession?
Me: No, it's teaching them that breasts are for food, not to be a perve.
Aunt: Sure, I can just see them trying to explain it to the judge, "Really your honor, I was just hungry!"

And she watched TV for a few minutes and then left, insisting that she had lots of chores to do (even though she drove over an hour to come and visit and left after barely a half hour). Phew.


----------



## In Exile

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MissE* 
Ooohh, we must be visiting the same boards then. Someone told me exactly the same yesterday.









Oh, I bet you, we are...I usually come here when I had enough "ammenmaerchen" at the other one, you know...







:







:








Although I misunderstood something, Eule meant you. Ahem, I was tired.. so I guess I have to take that back and only say "I heard someone saying"...


----------



## amberskyfire

Among one of the MANY dumb things my OB said at my only appt. I never went back to him again.

He asked me if I was drinking enough water and I told him I drank like a fish. Then he asked if I had experienced pica and I said no, that I had had strange cravings, but no pica.

Then he told me that if I did experience pica, that I should freeze my water and eat the ice chips and the minerals in the ice would help my cravings.

Um HELLO? How is freezing my drinking water going to add minerals to it?


----------



## AllisonR

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gurglebaby* 
A friend of my husband's was visiting with his 10 month old daughter. He told us how his wife stopped breastfeeding at 6 months. He justified it by saying the WHO recommends breastfeeding for 2 years but that's only for 3rd world countries where they have dirty water!









Wow, I had this EXACT same conversation with my father. I said WHO recommended 2 years, and he said that didn't count because that was for 3rd world countries. When he wanted specifics on when I was stopping, I said DD could decide. When he mentioned forever, I said to talk with me if she was still on my boob in high school.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *arelyn* 
And she watched TV for a few minutes and then left, insisting that she had lots of chores to do (even though she drove over an hour to come and visit and left after barely a half hour). Phew.









Well, if she does that enough, maybe she'll learn not to be stupid.


----------



## MilkTrance

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AmandaTN* 
My coworkers drive me crazy.

In addition to thinking co-sleeping is a one-way ticket to a dead baby (they are so adamant about this that I don't even discuss co-sleeping usually), I recently heard that:

--you can't breastfeed twins or multiple siblings. Reasons: there is no WAY you'll have enough milk. Just not possible. Nope. Never going to happen.

--when discussing formula with a friend who is due in December (she won't breastfeed, because she couldn't/didn't with her first two, so she thinks she won't be able to this time either), she asked me if I thought she should get powdered formula or ready made. I told her ready made, since it is more sterile. Another coworker just looked at me in disgust and told me that's not true. She made the statement "a baby's stomach isn't sterile, so what's the difference." I tried to explain that wasn't true, but since I'm the young, unchilded one, I'm ignorant about these things.

--on starting solids: they'll starve to death on milk alone. At ANY time. Cereal in the formula from week 1 on. The friend that's having the baby in December told me that her oldest had pineapple milkshake at 2 weeks old. Eggs, gravy, mashed potatoes, any and everything from birth.

I will NOT address the issue of CIO with any of them, because my head may very well explode if they advocate it.
*
(By the way, my coworkers? All nurses.)*


WHAT-WHAT-WHAT? (South Park reference, btw)








:







:


----------



## Petronella

This wasn't strictly said to ME, but I just had to post it. Here goes...

Okay, so there is this baby. It really is a beautiful baby, all clear skin and HUGE HUGE eyes, and sitting up in it's stroller all looking around and alert. Two women past by and one said to the other, "Now THAT'S a beautiful baby." I mean, I know it was a compliment, not even directed at me, but...huh?







: Like cute babies are vanishingly rare or something.


----------



## minkajane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Petronella* 
This wasn't strictly said to ME, but I just had to post it. Here goes...

Okay, so there is this baby. It really is a beautiful baby, all clear skin and HUGE HUGE eyes, and sitting up in it's stroller all looking around and alert. Two women past by and one said to the other, "Now THAT'S a beautiful baby." I mean, I know it was a compliment, not even directed at me, but...huh?







: Like cute babies are vanishingly rare or something.

According to my boss, all babies are ugly. Every single one of them.


----------



## elmh23

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
According to my boss, all babies are ugly. Every single one of them.

Please tell me your boss is not a parent!


----------



## tinawoman

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
According to my boss, all babies are ugly. Every single one of them.

seriously??????


----------



## minkajane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *elmh23* 
Please tell me your boss is not a parent!

Two girls, both grown. No grandkids yet.


----------



## Kateana

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Petronella* 
This wasn't strictly said to ME, but I just had to post it. Here goes...

Okay, so there is this baby. It really is a beautiful baby, all clear skin and HUGE HUGE eyes, and sitting up in it's stroller all looking around and alert. Two women past by and one said to the other, "Now THAT'S a beautiful baby." I mean, I know it was a compliment, not even directed at me, but...huh?







: Like cute babies are vanishingly rare or something.

I'd totally say that.







I'd just mean that it's exceptionally cute!


----------



## thefreckledmama

I don't have any specific instance...but my MIL is famous for asking me "Do you think that's a good idea/best?" Now I just look at her and say, "Obviously."


----------



## llamalluv

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Petronella* 
This wasn't strictly said to ME, but I just had to post it. Here goes...

Okay, so there is this baby. It really is a beautiful baby, all clear skin and HUGE HUGE eyes, and sitting up in it's stroller all looking around and alert. Two women past by and one said to the other, "Now THAT'S a beautiful baby." I mean, I know it was a compliment, not even directed at me, but...huh?







: Like cute babies are vanishingly rare or something.

I'm picturing that about 30 feet ahead of you, there is a mother pushing a stroller containing *An Ugly Baby*, and one lady said, "Oh, what a cute baby!" and the other one said, "That's no cute baby." By this time, they get to the baby you were walking near, and the second lady says, "Now THAT's a beautiful baby."


----------



## onyxravnos

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AmandaTN* 
(By the way, my coworkers? All nurses.)

what is wrong with some people?







: i just pray they aren't in labor and delivery at least...


----------



## llamalluv

Quote:

he is always telling me I'll make dd bucktoothed for thumb sucking- she isn't even sucking er thumb yet! But I hope she does! till she's 20!!
These ridiculous comments always make me laugh out loud. I'm 29, and I *STILL* suck my fingers, and aside from a SLIGHT overbite, I have perfect straight teeth, without EVER having worn braces!

However my fingers did grow in a bit twisted, but it's slight - about 10-15% to the left.


----------



## AnalogWife

When I was holding my ~3 month old for about 3 hours at a family get-together, my brother's mil said that I should put him down b/c holding him too much was bad for his back.


----------



## llamalluv

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JimmyMom* 
When I was holding my ~3 month old for about 3 hours at a family get-together, my brother's mil said that I should put him down b/c holding him too much was bad for his back.

Well, because, you know, it's so *STRENUOUS* for the baby.














:


----------



## kewpie-o

When I told a lady at my church that I was going to breastfeed, she told me that I'd better watch out because she breastfed her first 2 children and her dc #2 almost died because her milk became infected and turned green. So then she decided not to breastfeed her 3rd because it is so dangerous.


----------



## majorsky

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kewpie-o* 
When I told a lady at my church that I was going to breastfeed, she told me that I'd better watch out because she breastfed her first 2 children and her dc #2 almost died because her milk became infected and turned green. So then she decided not to breastfeed her 3rd because it is so dangerous.









:














:


----------



## HappyFox05

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kewpie-o* 
When I told a lady at my church that I was going to breastfeed, she told me that I'd better watch out because she breastfed her first 2 children and her dc #2 almost died because her milk became infected and turned green. So then she decided not to breastfeed her 3rd because it is so dangerous.

Um, wow. That's all I can say - wow.







:


----------



## granolalight

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kewpie-o* 
When I told a lady at my church that I was going to breastfeed, she told me that I'd better watch out because she breastfed her first 2 children and her dc #2 almost died because her milk became infected and turned green. So then she decided not to breastfeed her 3rd because it is so dangerous.

wtf? green? dangerous?


----------



## sapphire_chan

Isn't an imbalance between fore and hind milk one of the causes of greenish poo?

(Interestingly, there's a Japanese band called "Green Milk from the Planet Orange." Which brings to mind all sorts of bizarre images given this lady's assertion.)


----------



## Dena

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kewpie-o* 
When I told a lady at my church that I was going to breastfeed, she told me that I'd better watch out because she breastfed her first 2 children and her dc #2 almost died because her milk became infected and turned green. So then she decided not to breastfeed her 3rd because it is so dangerous.

Maybe you could point out that Mary nursed Jesus, and it seems he turned out ok...

Seriously, I don't know whether to laugh or cry at some of these comments!

I have a good friend who is eight mos. pg and at risk for pre-term labor, so was told by her mw to rest rest rest. A co-worker expressed concern she would get fat from so much sitting around. WTF? Uh, yeah, because a figure is so much more important than a baby...

My personal favorite was a woman who asked me if my curly haired, blonde, blue eyed _very_ pale daughter was mixed race. A friend later commented that I should have replied, "Yeah, she is... Norweigan and Swedish!"


----------



## Megali

I went out to lunch recently with a female friend and my DS was hamming it up with a young woman at the table next to us. She looked like she was out with her parents. The dad commented, "At least you know he's wired right" in response to DS flirting with his daughter.







:

It was such a foot-in-mouth moment that I was embarassed for him and didn't know how to respond. Sadly, I don't think he saw anything wrong with what he said.

But seriously,
1. How was he to know that my friend wasn't actually my DP? She's not, but he was wrong to assume.
2. DS is an equal opportunity attention seeker. He doesn't care about gender when he hams it up, he just wants you to smile at him and talk to him. It just so happens that it was a female responding to him.
and most importantly,
3. I could give a flying horse's heinie if DS is gay and if he is, it wouldn't mean he is wired "wrong"!!!


----------



## MissE

I think sometimes people just say something so they can say something. There's not really any interest.

People keep asking me if DS is a boy, WTF. That has happened to me soo often and I understood when he was little but that day he was dressed in blue pants, dark green jacket and a gray hat and he looks like a boy to me...there's just no way you can't tell or even consider that he could be a girl...impossible.

I got the "are you still nursing" from my mom yesterday AGAIN. I don't even answer anymore. Also, I've gotten two comments if DS wasn't too old for me to carry him in a MeiTai. There's only three options, having a big bulky stroller with me to run over everything in the mall or I make DS walk...(he's 9 mo) or I carry him...


----------



## mom2cash

Man, I love reading this thread. I've gotten through 16 pages of it (and plan to continue) biut I wanted to add my own comment... it was a nice one from my father. He has always said the music I listen to and the books I read are "weird" and my political and professional choices I make are "weird". We don't talk much besides superficial things. But when he asked me if I nursed my son (very strange coming from my father, an extremely shy old country man) and
I said ""Yes."
He said, "Well that's good."
Just the way he said it... It almost made me cry! Not even my mom is that supportive of my breastfeeding- she only BF me a few weeks. Since, he has never asked me how long I will BF him but I know he would support me for as long as I do.


----------



## Dena

Stephanie, that is so sweet!

I actually don't get asked if dd1 is a girl, people just _assume_ she is a boy - even when she is dressed all in pink. Or has her jacket with pink flowers on it on. I mean, really, how many moms would dress their boys in clothes with pink flowers?







: This has been happening since day 1 with her, too. Even when corrected, some people have continued to compliment me on what a cute litte guy I have. I don't think she looks at all masculine, and neither does anyone else who knows us, so I am not sure where it is coming from.







:







:







:

Strangely, _no one_ has assumed dd2 is a boy - either they think she is a girl or they ask. And she is one bald baby, just like dd1, and I don't dress her any differently - well, I actually dress her identically, since I am using dd1's clothes.







Weird.

Oh, I just remembered another comment I had with dd1. She has very fine, curly hair, and one day we were in Costco, back when her hair was not very thick - just coming in - and this old man passed us and commented that it was going to be tough to comb/control her hair because it was so fine. And he just kept walking. I always thought that was a very odd thing for an elderly gentleman to say, particularly in passing.


----------



## acp

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MissE* 
People keep asking me if DS is a boy, WTF. That has happened to me soo often and I understood when he was little but that day he was dressed in blue pants, dark green jacket and a gray hat and he looks like a boy to me...there's just no way you can't tell or even consider that he could be a girl...impossible.

I don't know.... I like it when people ask whether a baby is a boy or a girl rather than assuming based on how the kid is dressed. Maybe it's just because DD wears so many gender-neutral things (and yes, I consider blue to be gender neutral) and I get tired of people just assuming she's a boy. i don't mind at all if they ask - there's no way they could know - but I wish they wouldn't automatically think because she has blue or brown or dark green on that she's a boy. She could easily have been dressed the way you describe your DS!
(now, several times I've had her all in pink and I've still gotten questions about her gender or comments about "he" - those surprise me a bit more).


----------



## Shenjall

I guess this can go here....

I volunteer in my dd's kindy class. So does a gma. One little boy had his shirt on backwards. Whoopdido, right? Well, the gma was just _horrified_ and was talking loudly to the teacher about it. "Why cant people dress their children properly?! When MY children were young, I _always_ made sure they were dressed the _right_ way. Whats going to happen when he gets older?". I laughed very loudly and said, "I'm pretty sure he'll be fine. I dont think he'll be wearing his tux backwards at his wedding, unless of course, its the style then."
She just looked down her nose at me and said, "would you allow your dd to leave the house looking like that?!"
I told her, "its her body, her clothes, if she's happy, I'm happy. I choose not to get into power struggles over simple things with my kids. My teens have taught me that."
And that was the end of it.


----------



## ramlita




----------



## addiemom'07

For some reason when DD was very new people kept asking me if we were going to keep her. I told them the 90 day warranty hadn't expired yet and we were still test driving her. Once she was 3 months old I told people the 90 day warranty had expired and we had to keep her.


----------



## Flower of Bliss

Quote:


Originally Posted by *addiemom'07* 
For some reason when DD was very new people kept asking me if we were going to keep her.









Why on Earth would people ask you that?







: That might be the most bizarre thing I've read on the whole thread!


----------



## didkisa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Flower of Bliss* 







Why on Earth would people ask you that?







: That might be the most bizarre thing I've read on the whole thread!









:

That's too weird!

When I first announced my pregnancy to my family several people asked if she was an oops (sometimes in a not so nice way). Apparently waiting until after you've established your career, become financially secure, and being in a strong, loving marriage for several years (9 in our case) before having a child is so rare that she _must've_ been unplanned.







: I just told them if we _didn't_ want to have a baby, we wouldn't be having one!


----------



## acp

Don't you think people were asking in a joking way? I've had lots of people say that to me too, but in a clearly warm-hearted kidding way: "Whaddaya think? Ya gonna keep her?" while saying or showing with their expression how cute they thought she was. Or once or twice I remember people telling us when she was new that she was precious, and I'd respond "yeah, I think we'll keep her" - again, just one of those kidding things people say.
I can't imagine anyone saying that and actually being serious!

For the PP - I HATE it when people ask whether babies were planned or not. It's none of their business, and if they *weren't* planned, certainly doesn't mean you'll love them any less. It's also why I hate people asking when you're planning to have a baby. It's just not anyone's business except the two people involved, and it can bring up a really painful subject if the couple is having a hard time conceiving, had a miscarriage, whatever. I don't think people mean to be insensitive, but it's just one of those subjects that's better left unbroached unless someone tells you they're pregnant. And then, the only proper response is, "how wonderful!" (not, 'is it an oops").


----------



## bechand0128

Yesterday, we went to my fathers work, and he introduced me to one of his coworkers, an older woman - probably just barely grandparent age. My ds2 - 19 mo - was wearing a blue shirt w/ fish one it, blue jeans and white/blue athletic shoes. His hair is white blonde, and is a bit longish and curly in the back (slightly mullet-ish.) He was sitting on the floor playing cars w/ ds1.

Anyway, this woman was like, "oh, how precious! Aren;t they adorable? How old is she?" pointing at ds2. "Oh, he is 19 months." "She just looks like a little bundle of joy." as he whacked ds1 over the head w/ a firetruck. "Well, [ds1's obviously boy name] is certainly a little ball of fire!" "So, you must be done now, since you have one of each?"







:

"No, they're both boys, though I do have a step daughter. And no, we're not done. We've talked about having maybe 2 or 3 more, plus the possibility of adopting a few others through foster-adopt after that."

Her jaw dropped a good bit, and she mumbled something and walked away.







My 14 yr old brother was standing nearby - he's like, you aren't seriously going to have 8 kids, are you?









Why is it that 2, or one of each, is the magic number? Phooey.


----------



## majorsky

Quote:


Originally Posted by *acp* 
It's also why I hate people asking when you're planning to have a baby. It's just not anyone's business except the two people involved, and it can bring up a really painful subject if the couple is having a hard time conceiving, had a miscarriage, whatever. I don't think people mean to be insensitive, but it's just one of those subjects that's better left unbroached unless someone tells you they're pregnant.

DITTO.

I got nagged by all kinds of people about when I was going to have a baby. I kept my fertility problems to myself so no one knew we were TTC for years. But I guess because I was in my late 20s or early 30s, it was the socially-prescribed time for me to settle down and have a baby.

Anyway, just to get people off my back about it, I would get nonchalant and reply, "Maybe someday we'll have a baby. We haven't decided yet." That convinced enough people that we *didn't* want a baby that they stopped nagging me completely! My former boss, who meant well but had no clue, told us, "I didn't think you wanted children," when he found out we were pregnant. A couple of my girlfriends even said, "I can't even imagine you as a mom!" Guess I did a pretty good acting job.







:

Kristin


----------



## didkisa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *majorsky* 
My former boss, who meant well but had no clue, told us, "I didn't think you wanted children," when he found out we were pregnant.

That's what my dad said to me...right after he said "Oh Sh*t!"


----------



## acp

Two gems from my brother over Thanksgiving, about my charmingly chubby, EBF 5-month old:
- "Are you going to put her on a diet?"
- "She gets cross-eyed sometimes. Are you going to fix that?"







:
Also, when I started to discreetly nurse DD after Thanksgiving dinner (it was a pretty big gathering of people and we were outside since it was warm), he shot me a look of horror and said "you aren't going to do that HERE are you? It's just not appropriate!"

On the plus side, I recently had a discussion about breastfeeding with my 86-year-old grandmother, who I had never talked about the subject with before. I learned she's downright militant on it, a huge LLL supporter, and a big proponent of a woman's right to NIP anytime, anywhere. She said how happy she was that all of her grandchildren ended up being breastfed, and she loves to watch me breastfeed her great-grandchild.


----------



## Harmony96

This one's not really all that dumb or anything, but I'm going to have a "fight" w/ my family on "extended" nursing. My mom and I were talking on the phone today and she asked me if I'd given her any milk (obviously meaning cows' milk) yet. I told her no, that she still has my milk. My mom said that Lydia will start asking for it, and that she'll call out "Whip It Out!" in the store. lol. I just thought her choice of phrases was funny.


----------



## mamamirranda

I was trying to get home from the store and it was almost 10 pm. I said to my dad, "I have to get home Li is hungry," and you know what he said to me? "isn't it too late to feed him?" I didn't know what to say. I wish I had come back with:

"I guess if you feed your cute cuddly baby after 10 they turn into monsters. I knew it, Li is related to the gremlins. Must have got it from his dads side."

but of course I didn't think of that until I got home


----------



## cinnamonamon




----------



## Redlion

My elder SIL and her husband have one child, a beautiful 9 year old girl. _His_ brother has a son who is 3; _my_ DH has another sister (also a sister to SIL mentioned before) has a 4 year old son.

OK







now that is set up, recently at Thanksgiving, elder SIL's husband starts telling me how raising a boy will be more challenging (etc) because boys aren't affectionate as girls are. (














He gives his brother's 3 yr old son as an example--how the lad 'doesn't sit still' or 'doesn't do well for hugs/kisses'--and so I pull out the 4 yer old nephew as being sweet, loves to be held and is very affectionate--to which elder SIL's husband says to me (LITERALLY)

"Oh, (my wife's sister's son) is being raised in Denver--has to be indoors a lot, and my brother's son is being raised in TX--gets to be outside--hence their difference in attitudes."

WTF!







SAY WHUT?!?!? Thankfully, this man is already known as the 'family moron'


----------



## Maggirayne

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
It's the same people who get grossed out at the idea of HUMAN breastmilk but think that people should drink tons of COW breastmilk.

I know this is from waaaay back, but I've been laughing at the thought that people are horrified of a baby drinking milk from a woman's breast. Don't they know that a cow's milk comes out of her udder? And my milk-producing body parts aren't being dragged and/or laid on the ground in a barn, pen or field. I so want to point this out, but haven't met anyone complaining about breastfeeding being gross.


----------



## MilkTrance

(Posted about this before) My (mainstream, a little under-educated) friend asked me whether DS was "hungry all the time" because he was 6 months and one day old, and had not yet eaten solids.

Ummmmm... okay? The caloric content of rice cereal is OCCASIONALLY greater than the caloric content of breastmilk, but the nutrients are way, way, way lower in rice cereal.

I also get annoyed when people say "oooh looks like he's HUNGRY! Do you want what mom/dad is having?" when DS reaches for something on our plates.

Yes, he reaches for our food, but he has also put dog hair, dirt, lint, dust, his toes, clothing and diapers in his mouth. Not much of an argument if you ask me!

"Is he eating food yet?" I know what the intent/meaning is behind this, but it's still annoying. As if BF is not food. It's the OPTIMAL food. Hello.

It's so old-school to push the solids so early. It's like some kind of competition the mothers had back then -- who could shove the most junk down their baby's throat at the earliest age.


----------



## siobhang

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maggirayne* 
Don't they know that a cow's milk comes out of her udder? And my milk-producing body parts aren't being dragged and/or laid on the ground in a barn, pen or field.

ah, but people in the US don't have to SEE cow's milk coming from a cow - heck I do think that most people don't consciously think "my latte is flavored with the output from a bovine udder."

And the dairy industry has done a great job of convincing everyone that cows milk is basically sterilized - it comes in nice clean containers, and so forth - so it seems clean and healthy.

The only equivalent most people see in humans is bodily secretions - which get a big ole 'ewwww' when picturing drinking them.

There is not enough cultural context for nursing - and that is why nursing in public and being public about nursing is so damned important - because we need to BUILD that cultural context. Heck, casual, throw away comments about how human milk can cure diseases like pink eye can actually change people's view of human milk as more similar to medicine than to bodily secretions.


----------



## Maggirayne

Quote:


Originally Posted by *siobhang* 
ah, but people in the US don't have to SEE cow's milk coming from a cow - heck I do think that most people don't consciously think "my latte is flavored with the output from a bovine udder."

There is not enough cultural context for nursing - and that is why nursing in public and being public about nursing is so damned important - because we need to BUILD that cultural context. Heck, casual, throw away comments about how human milk can cure diseases like pink eye can actually change people's view of human milk as more similar to medicine than to bodily secretions.









Great way to put it!

Just the other day I told a new mom how MM is good for Pinkeye.


----------



## butterfly_mommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *acp* 
Two gems from my brother over Thanksgiving, about my charmingly chubby, EBF 5-month old:
- "Are you going to put her on a diet?"
- "She gets cross-eyed sometimes. Are you going to fix that?"







:
Also, when I started to discreetly nurse DD after Thanksgiving dinner (it was a pretty big gathering of people and we were outside since it was warm), he shot me a look of horror and said "you aren't going to do that HERE are you? It's just not appropriate!"

On the plus side, I recently had a discussion about breastfeeding with my 86-year-old grandmother, who I had never talked about the subject with before. I learned she's downright militant on it, a huge LLL supporter, and a big proponent of a woman's right to NIP anytime, anywhere. She said how happy she was that all of her grandchildren ended up being breastfed, and she loves to watch me breastfeed her great-grandchild.

Wow, if that was me I probably would have squirted him







How is that for "not appropriate"







:

It is great that your grandma is such a bm supporter. Both of my grandma's were told not to breastfeed there babies when they gad them in the 50's







When my aunt was breastfeeding her children still and at one point feeding her 2.5 year old and new baby my GM was "disgusted" that the 2.5 year old was still breastfeeding and would keeping asking my aunt when she would stop.







I remember once when I was a teenager and I was babysitting my cousins and my cousin came up to me and patted my breast looking longly saying "nice naanaa" she was two at the time and I thought it was so sweet







She had a nice long nursing session when her mama came home!


----------



## puddle

I can't believe there aren't a million new posts to this thread after the holidays!

I have one new one and a few old ones I forgot to post.

MIL: so where is DD sleeping now?
Me: In our room.
MIL: (condescending tone) In your bed?
Me: Yes.
MIL: (even more condescending) And when is that going to change? When she's 18?
Me: Sure. Just think of how much trouble we can keep her out of if she's sleeping with us then!

A few from dd's first dr. visits:
DR#1: DD is using you as a pacifier. You should think about introducing one to give yourself a break. (She was THREE DAYS OLD and my milk hadn't even come in yet.)

DR#2: She only needs to eat about 10 minutes from each side. The rest is just for comfort.

DR#3: How often is she (2 month old DD) nursing?
Me: Well, she does a lot of comfort nursing so it's hard to say.
DR#3: And you're OKAY with that?









We finally switched practices after that.

And finally, one from dh who likes to say things to piss me off:
DH: (As I rushed to crying DD to comfort her) She's fine.
Me: She's crying.
DH: Babies cry.
Me: Only when they need something.
DH: No, babies just cry.
Me: You mean like dogs bark, cats meow, babies cry?
DH: Exactly.
Me:


----------



## acp

My only real holiday gem wasn't so much a "saying" as a "doing", from MIL.
She was eating her typical oh-so-healthy breakfast as I held barely-six-month-old DD and she played with her. Before I could do a thing to stop her, she put a goop of cherry pop-tart filling on her finger and stuck it in DD's mouth.
As she saw my horrified expression, she said "oh, can she not have that either?" in a tone which classed it in all our other "weird' parenting decisions, like not having DD watch TV (it's on 24/7 in their house), having her self-feed, etc.







:


----------



## LiLStar

Quote:


Originally Posted by *puddle* 
And finally, one from dh who likes to say things to piss me off:
DH: (As I rushed to crying DD to comfort her) She's fine.
Me: She's crying.
DH: Babies cry.
Me: Only when they need something.
DH: No, babies just cry.
Me: You mean like dogs bark, cats meow, babies cry?
DH: Exactly.
Me:









Yep, just like that! My cats meow when they need something. They meow at me when they want to be fed, or need some attention







They never just meow for the sake of meowing!


----------



## amberskyfire

This wasn't actually said to me, but my mother related it to me, so I thought I would share.

My little cousin is in her early twenties and just got pregnant. Her husband bought one of those electronic fetal listeners and she asked my mother for a 9volt battery so she could listen to her baby's heartbeat.

My mother just about died laughing and had to tell her that she was only 5 weeks pregnant and wouldn't be able to hear the baby's heartbeat yet - the DOCTOR wouldn't even be able to hear it! My cousin looked forlornly at the package and said "but it says you can start using it in your third trimester." My mother laughed even harder at that and asked her if she knew what a trimester was.

This is her second pregnancy (the first ended in miscarriage after several weeks.)

I'm very worried about her now and I hope she will educate herself at least a little during her pregnancy. Are women really taught to be this ignorant about pregnancy and childbirth these days?


----------



## puddle

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
Are women really taught to be this ignorant about pregnancy and childbirth these days?

I once worked with a pregnant woman who thought the umbilical cord went from her belly button to the baby's. She had already given birth once before.


----------



## amberskyfire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *puddle* 
I once worked with a pregnant woman who thought the umbilical cord went from her belly button to the baby's. She had already given birth once before.









Hehe! That must be how the baby breathes - through an "air tube" that comes out the belly button.


----------



## FarmerCathy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
Hehe! That must be how the baby breathes - through an "air tube" that comes out the belly button.









Does that mean you are suffocating your baby when you put a shirt over your bellybutton?


----------



## elizaMM

Quote:


Originally Posted by *puddle* 

...
And finally, one from dh who likes to say things to piss me off:
DH: (As I rushed to crying DD to comfort her) She's fine.
Me: She's crying.
DH: Babies cry.
Me: Only when they need something.
DH: No, babies just cry.
Me: You mean like dogs bark, cats meow, babies cry?
DH: Exactly.
Me:









Yeah, DD is prolly just trying to protect her territory.


----------



## Hippie Mom

My MIL said I was raising my son on X-rated porn for buying the book "Breastmilk makes my tummy yummy". It shows absolutely adorable pics of babies nursing. I guess the breasts are the X-rated part.


----------



## Hippie Mom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mollie* 
I could really get going on this one. DS was exclusively b-feeding, MIL came to visit when he was one month old. I find her on the couch in the living room, w/ the baby, feeding him a WATER BOTTLE! HE was choking and sputtering, I could have killed her. DH had the graceless wit to say "she raised a bunch of kids, I'm sure it is not going to kill him". MIL says "it will help his digestion!"


I caught my father in law feeding my 3 month old exclusively bf baby COOL-WHIP last night. The fury I felt was only exaggerated by dh who shrugged, and made the same "it wont kill him" comment.


----------



## HappyFox05

Quote:


Originally Posted by *elizaMM* 
Yeah, DD is prolly just trying to protect her territory.


----------



## thefragile7393

Quote:


Originally Posted by *puddle* 

DR#2: She only needs to eat about 10 minutes from each side. The rest is just for comfort.


Former ped told me the same thing.....no wonder my son was crying constantly for a while and "seeming" hungry...he WAS hungry!!!!! UGH.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LiLStar* 
Yep, just like that! My cats meow when they need something. They meow at me when they want to be fed, or need some attention







They never just meow for the sake of meowing!

Actually, it's an even better analogy. Most adult cats only meow as much as they do because they've figured out that humans use noises to communicate and are generally too dense to pick up on all the subtle cat communication--flick of a tail, pointed look, etc--that they'd use with other cats. So meowing is a sign that you've already missed some signals--just like with a crying baby.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hippie Mom* 
I caught my father in law feeding my 3 month old exclusively bf baby COOL-WHIP last night. The fury I felt was only exaggerated by dh who shrugged, and made the same "it wont kill him" comment.









Ugh. I would've been soooooo tempted to answer "maybe not, but sleeping in the yard after I've dumped ice on your head might kill you."


----------



## Maggirayne

My MIL was asking DD if she wanted 'real' food. I raised my eyebrow, don't if she saw, but then she asked again and said "food you chew" Yay, my MIL!









I watched the theatrical trailer for Birth As We Know It and told DH I was going to catch our next baby (He didn't catch our first, don't know why he didn't want to). So he says, "You can't--your arms are too short." I was ticked until I asked if he was serious and realized he wasn't. He thought I was overreacting, but I said, "You're the one who thinks hospitals are safe to have babies in." (I had just emailed him some info comparing the US's infant mortality rate.) To which he said "I know they are." So I was ticked again. Sorry, OT!


----------



## veganone

Took DD to a restaurant for lunch (very casual natural foods place). She is 4 months old, but is small because she was early. I was sitting with her propped in my lap and eating with my other hand - dd was watching because she ALWAYS watches what we're doing. The woman at the table next to us said "is she eating solid foods yet - she looks like she wants some".
"Nope, not yet."
"Well how old is she?"
"4 months"
"Oh, well she's ready anytime"

Okay, even if you believe in giving rice cereal at 4 months - I WAS EATING NACHOS!!! Natural foods ones with whole beans, avocado, etc, but still! Was I supposed to give her a chip???


----------



## JoyNChrist

I was nursing DS (who was about 3 months old at the time) at my grandparents' house when my cousin walked in the room. At first he didn't even notice what I was doing (I was being very discreet, nursing shirt and all that), but when he realized I was nursing the baby he blushed and then asked *"How long do you have to breastfeed?"*

I said, "Huh?"

He said, "You know...when can you give him a bottle?"

Um...I don't _*have*_ to breastfeed. I do it because I want to, because it's best for my baby. And I could give him a bottle now, but I'm not going to because there's no reason. Formula is nowhere near as good as breastmilk, and it's also freaking expensive.


----------



## MilkTrance

Quote:


Originally Posted by *FarmerCathy* 
Does that mean you are suffocating your baby when you put a shirt over your bellybutton?









Yes. That's why it pops out later in pregnancy. It works kind of like a snorkel 'cause the babies need more air in the 3rd trimester.


----------



## MommyofPunkiePie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MilkTrance* 
Yes. That's why it pops out later in pregnancy. It works kind of like a snorkel 'cause the babies need more air in the 3rd trimester.

OMFT! That's hilarious!







(Sorry, the other smilies aren't working for me


----------



## Twinklefae

Happy 5 year anniversary to this thread!


----------



## KurumiSophia

My MIL insists that babies need to sleep on a hard surface for their backs to develop properly. And she's horrified that we could roll over onto our baby. *snort*









And apparently the baby needs to learn to cry. I pick her up and carry her around far too much.









Those are the only things I'm doing "wrong". Well, heck, if those are wrong, I certainly don't want to be in the right.


----------



## Shenjall

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Twinklefae* 
Happy 5 year anniversary to this thread!

5 years? Wow. My dd is 5 years old. Time really does fly....


----------



## DogwoodFairy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lousli* 

This time around, we told my parents and in-laws the name we chose, and they wouldn't stop telling us how much they disliked it. After we had chosen the name (Hazel Eliana) and told it to our 3 year-old daughter, and made a website with the baby's name on it, my mom said to me, "What about Hailey instead of Hazel?" as if it was still up for discussion.









Wow, didn't I hate that. When I told my Dad and his gf what our ds name would be (Embden), my Dad's gf said, "Well, you have plenty of time to decide on a nice NORMAL name." It doesnt help that my "step-mom" is younger than I - It makes me want to say, "Go have your own babies, if you want to name one!!!"


----------



## Turquesa

MIL: Honey, my other grand-baby just loved these colored frog toys that I bought for her. I'll make sure to pick up some for your Dd.

Me: Oh, that's really sweet of you. But I think after Christmas, she really has plenty of toys.

[Aside: Thanks to my hyper-materialistic MIL, that's an understatement. What's a 9-mo-old supposed to do with all of this stuff? Pawn it?]

MIL: But that's how my other grand-babies learned their colors! How will she learn her colors?

Me: Um, I think there are plenty of colors for her to look at....


----------



## KurumiSophia

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Socks for Supper* 







Wow, didn't I hate that. When I told my Dad and his gf what our ds name would be (Embden), my Dad's gf said, "Well, you have plenty of time to decide on a nice NORMAL name." It doesnt help that my "step-mom" is younger than I - It makes me want to say, "Go have your own babies, if you want to name one!!!"

Sad to say, I have one even better. My mother had shown up while I was in labor @ the hospital and we'd already decided on our daughter's name (Akane Rebekka). She attempts to convince us to change it to "Autumn Rose" because she had a dream that the baby told her that she wanted it changed to that because it was her 'real' name. What's even better is while my husband is attempting to spell the name to a nurse for paperwork, my mother is talking over him trying to get the nurse to put down the name she said my baby 'wanted'.







Needless to say, it was not cool and I kicked her out of my labor room.


----------



## N8'sMom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *acp* 
My only real holiday gem wasn't so much a "saying" as a "doing", from MIL.
She was eating her typical oh-so-healthy breakfast as I held barely-six-month-old DD and she played with her. Before I could do a thing to stop her, she put a goop of cherry pop-tart filling on her finger and stuck it in DD's mouth.
As she saw my horrified expression, she said "oh, can she not have that either?" in a tone which classed it in all our other "weird' parenting decisions, like not having DD watch TV (it's on 24/7 in their house), having her self-feed, etc.







:

Yuck! How disgusting!


----------



## artgoddess

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JoyNChrist* 
I was nursing DS (who was about 3 months old at the time) at my grandparents' house when my cousin walked in the room. At first he didn't even notice what I was doing (I was being very discreet, nursing shirt and all that), but when he realized I was nursing the baby he blushed and then asked *"How long do you have to breastfeed?"*

I said, "Huh?"

He said, "You know...when can you give him a bottle?"

Um...I don't _*have*_ to breastfeed. I do it because I want to, because it's best for my baby. And I could give him a bottle now, but I'm not going to because there's no reason. Formula is nowhere near as good as breastmilk, and it's also freaking expensive.


Reading that made me smile. I have to admit it's nice to here that a young man who has no experience with babies think that all mothers breast feed. If he has a wife and babe one day I hope that attitude rubs off.

My young cousin would leave the room when I nursed DS. It would make us all laugh so I would purposely try to latch him on as discreetly as possible and carry on the conversation with him, and we would all wait for the "Aha" moment when he would go screaming from the room if he noticed. Then we would laugh our butts off at him.


----------



## sapientia

When I was asked by a relative "Aren't you going to get your breastmilk tested to make sure that it is ok for the baby?" I could barely respond in a civil manner.

And of course the "If you hold a newborn you make them tired and it hurts their back, so you shouldn't hold them." that from my oh-so-wise grandmother.

Then the "that baby is starving, you need to feed it some REAL food" this is when my daughter was less than a week old.

And of course the crappy comments about how newborns should cry to exercise their lungs, it will ruin them to hold them, etc. I got a reputation real quick as a smart mouth cause I just got enough-no matter how kindly I responded or gave info. to the contrary of what they were saying-still the comments came on. No one says anything, now.


----------



## Devaya

i love this thread! its so reassuring to hear i'm not alone in the frustration of so many well-meaning but misunderstanding people!
the comments that have irritated me most were when i was pregnant and one of my best friends, who I'd thought was fairly well-informed, said 'but what are u going to do if u can't breastfeed? my mother, grandmother, etc etc, couldn't...' she also launched into a detailed description of how her grandma and mom's births had all gone wrong and they'd had to have caesareans, etc...yes, very helpful to hearwhen u're about to give birth for the first time! i know people are so often in a place of fear about birth that they feel they have to air it to others...but why dont people think first?

the one i hate at the mo is 'is he a good baby?'...meaning what?? i've started to just say 'yes' now.

i'm also getting tired of the 'how does he sleep?' and 'does he sleep thru the night' questions...but i've been guilty of them too, before i got wise to all the stuff i know now! recently i asked a woman at the breastfeeding drop in i go to, who's just had her 3rd baby, how her baby slept, and when she explained she co-slept and all that (and seemed a little irked with the question) it really made me go home and think about it...and i'm not going to ask these competitive type questions anymore. sometimes i've just done it as an opening gambit when meeting new moms, but now i know how annoying it is!


----------



## N8'sMom

Oh, I've got one.....
Me, hubby and all the in-laws go out to eat after church almost
every Sunday. We were at a mexican restaurant and my 8 month old
was drinking water from a cup. He got a little choked and started coughing.
No big deal....But MIL says, "Hurry, pump his left arm up and down. It'll clear his lungs!" Everyone at the table started dying laughing. That's the craziest thing I"ve heard in a while.

Also she has told me when he was a newborn that passing him from person to person and letting a bunch of people hold him will make his back sore and he'll get cranky.

Sometimes I wonder where people come up with this crazy stuff??!!


----------



## EricaRain

We've been pretty lucky, nothing too bad or annoying. Usually just my MIL or FIL trying to offer advice to DH (wisely not saying it to me!) and him shrugging it off.

Like when they chastised DH for driving Alex around for an hour to get him to sleep the first two nights he was home from the hospital. After he'd been screaming for 8 hours straight, until 4am the first night, and 6 hours straight, until 2am the second night.

Or when they kept telling DH "you shouldn't carry him around so much, he'll get used to it and always want to be held". Right, it's a good thing we got our cuddles in before the kid got mobile, he never sat still long enough to be held once he could explore. Then he started walking early too. Sorry, making sure my baby felt comfortable, loved, and safe, was more important to me then worries about spoiling him.

Or when they kept saying he'd get used to cold wipes and not to spoil him with a wipes warmer. In our old apartment where the insulation was non-existent and I didn't even want to touch the wipes because they were so cold. Despite that I mentioned I'd read that it helps them sleep through the night (due to not getting cold wipe on the bum at 3am) and he'd started doing so at 8 weeks.

After that, I think they realized their advice was wasted.


----------



## Wolfcat

I was at a restaurant with DM and DS the other day. One of the employees (we're small-town regulars) just had a baby and brought her in. I was trying to find out details and noticed that the dad kept leaving the baby in the bucket around... alone on the table, alone at the table, etc. Then DM says that the babe (6 wks old) is sleeping 10 - 12 hours straight. I said, oh, well, that's not really that healthy.

DM told me not to be so judgmental!

I said I was stating a proven fact, not being judgmental. It's not like I went up to the mother and berated her for it or anything.


----------



## Harmony96

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Wolfcat* 
Then DM says that the babe (6 wks old) is sleeping 10 - 12 hours straight. I said, oh, well, that's not really that healthy.

DM told me not to be so judgmental!

I said I was stating a proven fact, not being judgmental. It's not like I went up to the mother and berated her for it or anything.

Why is it not healthy? My DD slept for that long at that age. Not every night, but more often than not.


----------



## the_lissa

Yeah as long as the baby is nursing and gaining well, and the long sleep is their own initiative, there is no reason it is unhealthy. It is rare and unusual, but my baby slept for 9 or so hours at 1 month.


----------



## PreciousTreasures

Mine is particularly fertile ground in the garden of insanity.
Here's my list of top stupid sayings from her lips:
1.) After telling a story of how she "saved" a baby from a bfing mom whose "milk was no good" by getting the mom to give the baby formula she told me (while pg with dd#1) "You should just go get a shot and get dried up!"








2.) Shoving spoonfuls of mashed potatoes into dds mouth behind my back "Its time to start giving you real food!" (dd was 8mo).








3.) "You're going to turn your children into freaks with all that weirdo stuff you do." I can only assume she means bding, co-sleeping, holding, etc etc.








4.) "You're just gonna breastfeed her for 6 weeks right? She really needs something else after that."








5.) When dd#2 was pretty sick with a cold she told my husband (not me because she now knows better than to say something like this to me) that I needed to stop breast feeding her and "Give that baby what she really needs!!!" For the life of me I can't think of what that might be!


----------



## gurglebaby

My dh's family is sooo mainstream and they are constantly making comments that drive me crazy!
The last one from MIL. I was telling her that I don't think ds is ready for food yet because he hasn't seemed that interested in it. I tried giving him a little avocado the other day and he just made a face and spit it out. She said "oh I'm not surprised I hate avocado it's just horrible. I don't know how anyone can eat it." She also asks dh every few weeks if we're still sleeping with ds.
Sometimes I wonder how our baby survives in the world because I'm not doing everything EXACTLY the way our parents did it!
Then there's the SIL. She mentioned to me how hard it was for her to CIO with her second son. Her husband sent her away for a few days because she couldn't handle the crying. I replied "well I'm sure glad I'm not doing that!"
I could go on for days because they are always trying to covertly give me advice. Clearly I have no idea what I'm doing!!!







:


----------



## gurglebaby

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PreciousTreasures* 
Mine is particularly fertile ground in the garden of insanity.
Here's my list of top stupid sayings from her lips:
1.) After telling a story of how she "saved" a baby from a bfing mom whose "milk was no good" by getting the mom to give the baby formula she told me (while pg with dd#1) "You should just go get a shot and get dried up!"








2.) Shoving spoonfuls of mashed potatoes into dds mouth behind my back "Its time to start giving you real food!" (dd was 8mo).








3.) "You're going to turn your children into freaks with all that weirdo stuff you do." I can only assume she means bding, co-sleeping, holding, etc etc.








4.) "You're just gonna breastfeed her for 6 weeks right? She really needs something else after that."








5.) When dd#2 was pretty sick with a cold she told my husband (not me because she now knows better than to say something like this to me) that I needed to stop breast feeding her and "Give that baby what she really needs!!!" For the life of me I can't think of what that might be!









Wow I think our MIL's are related!laughup


----------



## lee1203

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MilkTrance* 
Yes. That's why it pops out later in pregnancy. It works kind of like a snorkel 'cause the babies need more air in the 3rd trimester.


----------



## thefragile7393

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PreciousTreasures* 
3.) "You're going to turn your children into freaks with all that weirdo stuff you do." I can only assume she means bding, co-sleeping, holding, etc etc.









Better to be a freak than to be a <insert whatever icky word you wish> like you!


----------



## Lucy In the Sky

My mother has said the following things:

That I should give my son formula before each breastfeeding session (???)

That I shouldn't let him comfort nurse because nursing is for nutrition only and that if he goes to the breast for other reasons he'll get "confused", and I'll be a slave to his needs (???) and I should teach him other ways of comforting himself.

When I was having a lot of trouble bf'ing in the begining: That you really can't tell the difference between a formula fed baby and a bf baby and therefore it doesn't really matter which one I choose as a feeding method. I want to reply to her, "well I guess it's just a coincidence that your 3 formula fed babies all have autoimmune disorders and the one baby you bf'd doesn't?"

That I should ignore warnings about putting babies in older cribs; before DS and I came to visit her she said she's gotten a crib for him and I asked if it was new and up to safety code. She replied yes. When I get there, she tells me it's actually borrowed and 100 years old-- the slats were miles apart from each other. She then went on to say she felt the need to make a point about not having to do everything by the book and she lied to me "for my own good." As she's spouting all this nonsense, I remember how my baby sister got her leg stuck in the slats of an old losuy crib my mom had "borrowed" and how she'd gotten a fracture from it at the age of eight months. Needless to say, I didn't use the crib while I was there.)


----------



## Pepperdove

nak

my aunt is a pediatric surgical nurse, so i wish she knew better, but no. when ds(i think?) was a nb, she told me that letting him cry was good for him. it would exercise his lungs.

huh? do *i* need to be exercising my lungs? perhaps i ought to be hollering from the rooftops.


----------



## Shenjall

Maybe we should all start screaming at people who give us this crappy advice. When they ask what we're doing we can simply say, "Well, I'm following your advice, I'm exercising my lungs. Boy do I feel GREAT"


----------



## bigeyes

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shenjall* 
Maybe we should all start screaming at people who give us this crappy advice. When they ask what we're doing we can simply say, "Well, I'm following your advice, I'm exercising my lungs. Boy do I feel GREAT"









:


----------



## Faliciagayle

I just found this thread - delicious!!

While pregnant I was telling a friend about our plans for our home birth. My friend looks at me all wide eyed and said, "You're birthing at home?? That's so medieval." I told her the same could be said for hospital births.

More on topic: last week I was hanging out at my parents house. I was wearing the baby for one of her naps and my very loving, well intentioned father looks at me and says "geez, it's like you're a slave to the baby."


----------



## KurumiSophia

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shenjall* 
Maybe we should all start screaming at people who give us this crappy advice. When they ask what we're doing we can simply say, "Well, I'm following your advice, I'm exercising my lungs. Boy do I feel GREAT"

*passes soda through her nose* Thanks. :-D At least my sinuses are cleaned out...sorta.


----------



## KurumiSophia

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Faliciagayle* 
More on topic: last week I was hanging out at my parents house. I was wearing the baby for one of her naps and my very loving, well intentioned father looks at me and says "geez, it's like you're a slave to the baby."

And the come back that pops in my mind is "At least she's an easy master. My last one was way into wax and leather whips. I felt like a candle for weeks."


----------



## Magali

A friend of a friend was asking about baby cereal for her 4 month old. He was on it for a month and it was making him constipated. I piped in that 4 months seemed really young to feed a baby anything other than (in this case) formula. She told me thanks but no thanks, her mother had her and her sisters on rice cereal at 2 weeks old, and she had been patient waiting until her son was 3 months


----------



## N8'sMom

Why in the world do people say that some moms "milk is no good"?????

What in the world does that mean???????????




























rol l


----------



## majorsky

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Socks for Supper* 







Wow, didn't I hate that. When I told my Dad and his gf what our ds name would be (Embden), my Dad's gf said, "Well, you have plenty of time to decide on a nice NORMAL name." It doesnt help that my "step-mom" is younger than I - It makes me want to say, "Go have your own babies, if you want to name one!!!"

My MIL made some attempts to name our DD before she was born and it really ticked me off. (She's a control freak anyway.) I felt like telling her, "You had your chance to name your own kids. Now let us name ours!" Instead I politely declined the names she suggested. Of course, she was really creative herself (*sarcasm*) and gave her firstborn child his father's exact name. Maybe that's why she wanted another chance to name a baby.









Kristin


----------



## DogwoodFairy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shaunam* 
I think being large helps. I am a G, so I've got plenty of length to reach DS's face. Even then, I just *barely* reach him.

Basically, I keep my seatbelt on, but put one foot under me to get some height and then lean way over (and a little bit forward) and hold my breast up to his mouth. It get VERY tiring!

My mom was driving and she thought it was hilarious! I was a little worried about the truckers getting an eyeful of my breasts, but then realized they probably couldn't even see my breasts, but they could definitely see my butt-crack. :LOL My pants were low-rise and I could not keep them from sliding down in that position!

As for the bumpy ride, we were on a pretty smooth highway, but my mom would tell me if there was a bumpy spot up ahead so I would have some warning.









: LOL I tried this once, and I have pretty small boobs, so it was comical at best. My poor little baby had such a bug-eyed expression on his face that I quit, and made dh pull over so the babe could nurse without me ripping the nipple out of his mouth every time we hit a frost heave.


----------



## Faliciagayle

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KurumiSophia* 
And the come back that pops in my mind is "At least she's an easy master. My last one was way into wax and leather whips. I felt like a candle for weeks."

















:


----------



## Incubator

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HappyFox05* 
If it was someone other than g-ma, you could've said, "We have two pacifiers.







And they never get lost - we always know right where they are!

ROFL


----------



## DogwoodFairy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ramlita* 
Years ago I was cleaning in my parents' house and stumbled upon a box of old photos, including my dad's baby photos from when he was born in 1948.
With the photos was the bill from the hospital for the birth, and a pamphlet with
Feeding Instructions:

Feed every four hours, alternating between
Milk with Karo syrup, and
Orange Juice!

It makes me think, no wonder CIO has such a wide acceptance in this country- what comfort IS there for a newborn with a belly full of orange juice???









Found dh's baby book (he was born in 1967) and the recipe for formula: 8oz Carnation Evap Milk, 16oz water, 2-3 level tsp of white Karo syrup.

At 3 WEEKS old, my MIL was feeding him orange juice, strained fruits, and strained cereal. At 2 months old he was eating MEAT SOUP. uke And he has struggled with his weight his whole life (currently almost 100 lbs overweight for his height).

It makes it easy for me to ignore nearly every annoying piece of parenting advice she has given me.


----------



## LaurenB

My MIL gave me DH's baby book. It was from 1976. She saved all the instruction sheets from the pediatrician...







I can't believe the things they told mothers back then! And she did it! The very first page (newborn) instructs her to leave him in his soiled diapers so that he doesn't acquire the habit of crying every time he needs to be changed. Then on the one month sheet she is told to give him rice cereal twice a day and that all his night feedings should be eliminated by six weeks. At two months the pediatrician included a section on "dicipline" and how the baby needs to learn that crying doesn't get him his way. The next one instructs her at 3 months to feed him pureed beef for lunch. I can't read anymore of it. I've flipped through the parts she actually wrote and it confirms that she followed his advice. So sad.


----------



## Faliciagayle

I was out on a women's bike ride, chatting with a lady about being a mom, babies, et cetera. She's a mom of an 8 and 6 yo. Anyhoo, the inevitable question of "Does your baby sleep through the night?" comes up and I say "She sleeps like a baby!"









We get to talking, I ask if her kids slept in cribs or what and she says, "First of all, let me say that I do not agree with Attachment Parenting. I don't think it works. From the _day my children were born_ I have been teaching them to be independent from me - which meant letting them cry and sleep on their own. It's our job to teach our children how to take care of themselves."


----------



## Arwyn

OK, we need more funny anecdotes, these last few are just sad.


----------



## MommyofPunkiePie

You want funny? I think I have funny (or at least mildly amusing







).

My DD is a few days shy of 40 months old and we are still nursing. In all these months of our breastfeeding relationship, no one has ever give me any crap about it -- until now.

I'm a single Mama, and the only two people who have given me grief are single guys! The first one was at the end of December, and he was







when I told him I was still nursing. I asked him, "Are you calling me out on nursing my daughter? Did you know that the world average age of weaning is 4.2 years old and that if you take the US out of it, it's a lot higher?" He just stopped. And apologized.









The next guy (one who I would actually consider dating







) asked me why I couldn't have pizza (it always comes down to pizza!), and I told him it was because DD is allergic to dairy and intolerant to wheat. He didn't understand why DD's issues were relevant, but then I told him about our nursing relationship. he said, "But isn't she old enough to eat real food?" I'll spare you what I said to him, but I was







, gave him the







treatment, and there was a little







involved. Believe you me, he won't ever ask anyone else again!


----------



## geckoed

dd was 6 months old and waking a few times a night. DS was 2 and very sick and I was up all night with them one night. My mother called the next day and I asked her to hold on a second while I talked to the older kids. I was telling them I'd stuck steel cut oats into the crock pot during the night (I knew I'd be exhausted in the morning!) and suggesting they add blueberries or dried fruit and telling the 4yro yes he could have bananas in his.
My mother first berated me for making oatmeal on a weekday, then laughed about fruit in it. (we had an array of brightly colored marshmellow laden cereals for breakfast growing up and my childhood version of "juice" was koolaid). Next she wanted to know why they were getting their own. I explained I was nursing DD and had been up most of the night. She responded with
"well thats YOUR choice dear! When you kids were little mothers didn't put up with such nonsense. We took CARE of our babies and ourselves!"
I protested that I WAS taking care of them, thats why I was up all night.
"nonsense!" she declared. "that baby needed a beddie bottle, and sick kids need Tylenol and a hot totti. If you'd done it right they would have gotten the rest the needed and they would feel better this morning"
A "beddie bottle" is rice cereal, karo syrup, TWO SHOTS OF WHISKEY, and hot milk.

If we *did* wake we needed our rest so were ignored until we went back to sleep.

Whiskey fixed everything for babies and toddlers according to my mom. I think I was drunk from birth through age 5.


----------



## Twinklefae

Quote:


Originally Posted by *geckoed* 

Whiskey fixed everything for babies and toddlers according to my mom. I think I was drunk from birth through age 5.

Wow!







That's almost as good as "breastfeeding will make him gay!"


----------



## didkisa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Socks for Supper* 

At 3 WEEKS old, my MIL was feeding him orange juice, strained fruits, and strained cereal. At 2 months old he was eating MEAT SOUP. uke And he has struggled with his weight his whole life (currently almost 100 lbs overweight for his height).

My MIL started my DH on solids at 3 DAYS old...and has pictures to prove it! (per her pediatrician's advice) Luckily, he has no food allergies and is not overweight now.


----------



## Shenjall

Just yesterday my IL's were trying to give dh some mcdonalds coupons. After he explained, YET AGAIN, that we dont go to mcdonalds, my fil exploded about how horrible we were. 'Whats wrong with mcdonalds?! The food tastes good! EVERY child should be able to go to mcdonalds!' After my dh explains, calmly, why WE dont go, why WE prefer not to take our kids there, not insulting his fathers choice of going, just explaining why and how this works for our family my fil says, "Well, maybe I'll just take them there for lunch one day anyway, just to show you, that it wont kill them".
Dh said, "NO you wont".
These are the same people who watch my kids happily enjoying their second helping of salad with their balanced dinner with *gasp* vegetables and say, "you poor kids, your mother making you eat that".

I swear they are a couple of small children from a 1975 McD commercial: "yuck. vegetables. Hey, lets go get a Big Mac!"

gekoed, my ex-mil suggested I put shots of whiskey in ds bottle too. yeah, I'll save the whiskey for me.


----------



## JessBB

My MIL gave dh rice cereal at 2 WEEKS, this in 1978, as a cure for low gain while bf'ing. Guess how this story ends? That's right, MIL was told she didn't have enough milk and could not bf! The funny parts are that (1) DS was, and is, very slim - so he didn't even gain any weight! and (2) TO THIS DAY he won't eat off a spoon that anyone sticks in his face







.

The happy ending is rather than repeating bad advice, MIL was super-supportive of BF, even bf'ing my now one-year-old, which especially awesome since she is super-duper mainstream in most respects. It seems like all the BAD advice she got regarding feeding, CIO etc. was so against her instincts, that even though she was too meek to ignore it at the time, she is willing to disregard it now!


----------



## Maggirayne

I have a mildly funny oh brother one.
A few months ago lady in my Bible study group was bothered by me nursing in the group and suggested I could go in a another room and she'd keep me company, (uh yeah, after you 'sent' me out?!). She was pg and fast-forward to after her baby's birth. We're meeting at our house and she asks for a light blanket, she only brought a heavy blanket and is hot, but does want to nurse. I had been nursing my DD for a few minutes before her baby started fussing. So I unlatch DD and go find her a receiving blanket. I sit back down and resume nursing my DD. My DH whispers, "Do you want a blanket?" I said, "No!"







:

Mind you since the Applebee's incident(September!), I started nursing without a blanket and just adjusting my shirt. So much easier, and I don't have to worry about little waving/grabbing/reaching arms jerking, moving my blanket. Esp. when we decide to unlatch and have a little look-see! I'm not spazzed if anyone sees a little skin either. It's just a breast and if you watch TV you see a lot more than I've even got,


----------



## umami_mommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JessBB* 
My MIL gave dh rice cereal at 2 WEEKS, this in 1978, as a cure for low gain while bf'ing. Guess how this story ends? That's right, MIL was told she didn't have enough milk and could not bf! The funny parts are that (1) DS was, and is, very slim - so he didn't even gain any weight! and (2) TO THIS DAY he won't eat off a spoon that anyone sticks in his face








.

The happy ending is rather than repeating bad advice, MIL was super-supportive of BF, even bf'ing my now one-year-old, which especially awesome since she is super-duper mainstream in most respects. It seems like all the BAD advice she got regarding feeding, CIO etc. was so against her instincts, that even though she was too meek to ignore it at the time, she is willing to disregard it now!

yup, this happened with my DH too. (my mom doesn't know where my baby book is nor does she "remember" what my feeding instructions were.)

MIL just uses my nursing as a reason to whip herself for not nursing. she feels SO guilty for following the doctors orders.... (DH is 36 yo).

i feel bad for her, but at some point to have to accept you made a mistake and move on, KWIM?


----------



## ramlita

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maggirayne* 
It's just a breast and if you watch TV you see a lot more than I've even got
















:


----------



## hattifattener

On the subject of "worst thing anyone ever said to you", it was right after DD was born with potential heart and lung problems and was whisked into the NICU for almost a week. (great time for negative comments, yeah?)

One night when I came back from the bathroom, I saw that she had a pacifier in her mouth. I politely pointed out to the nurse that my husband and I had specifically requested NO pacifiers, as the dear little thing was having an awful time nursing and didn't need any nipple confusion. The nurse made a grimace of disgust at my ignorance and cruelty, ripped the pacifier out of my baby's mouth, and said "FINE. I guess you just WANT her to cry all the time."

In retrospect, I should have reported her, etc etc, but at the time I was kind of paranoid that this nurse would hurt my baby when I wasn't there if I pissed her off. This woman certainly seemed capable of such a thing- you should have seen her face!


----------



## ramlita




----------



## Writerbird

My boss is a man in his mid-30s who has no siblings and no friends with children. He's married to a woman in her 50s whose kid is already 25. Just explaining that he's not actually a bad guy, just really clueless.

Anyway, I fly often as part of my job. He was cheerfully doing math out loud - "Okay, so the baby is coming on February 20, so you should be able to travel again in early March, like the fifth?"

I was gentle. I told him that due dates were just a guess, and the baby's arrival is not something that can be scheduled. I added that two weeks post partum was absolutely out of the question as well, and that it would be more like two months assuming everything went WELL.

So he looks at his calendar and gets excited, because there's an event he wants me to speak at on April 20. We aren't talking about a wee speech, it's a daylong event. I again say, very gently, that no, that won't be possible either, because I will be bringing my baby with me for the first few trips I take.

He said, "Can't your husband take care of the baby?"

I said, "Yes, but my husband can't FEED the baby."

You could almost see the wheels turning, and you could definitely see the moment when he figured out what I meant.


----------



## amberskyfire

Last week, my midwife told me that some nitrates were showing up in my urine test and that it meant I had a bladder infection (even though no blood was showing up in the test). She said I'd had it for a while because my test had shown nitrates for the last few weeks. She said I had a bladder infection and that I needed to see a doctor to have it treated.

I looked at her like she was crazy and said that I didn't have a bladder infection. She said "oh, you wouldn't know if you had one. When you're pregnant, you are desensitized and can't feel it."















: oh. BULL. KAKA.

In the same conversation she said I had to go to the hospital and have my iron levels checked because she thought I was anemic because I have low blood pressure. I've ALWAYS had low blood pressure.







: I told her I wasn't anemic and that if I *felt* anemic I would go to the doctor to get checked. She said the same thing "oh, you wouldn't actually be able to tell that you were anemic if that was the problem. You don't *feel* anemic when your iron levels are low..."

Yeah, right! Like I don't know what lightheadedness and exhaustion feel like. I work out every day and eat very well. I feel like I could run a marathon!


----------



## the_lissa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
I looked at her like she was crazy and said that I didn't have a bladder infection. She said "oh, you wouldn't know if you had one. When you're pregnant, you are desensitized and can't feel it."

This is actually very common. I had a bladder infection during my last pregnancy, and didn't feel it until it hit my kidneys, and I thought I was dying.


----------



## bigeyes

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Writerbird* 
I said, "Yes, but my husband can't FEED the baby."

You could almost see the wheels turning, and you could definitely see the moment when he figured out what I meant.


















:


----------



## amberskyfire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *the_lissa* 
This is actually very common. I had a bladder infection during my last pregnancy, and didn't feel it until it hit my kidneys, and I thought I was dying.

Oh, you poor thing! I'm so sorry







I've had a kidney infection before. They are horrible. It was my first bladder infection and yes, I didn't realize then that I had an infection because it hit me so fast.

But seriously, I've been showing nitrates in my urine for the last two and a half months. I can't seriously believe that I wouldn't know in that amount of time that I had a bladder infection


----------



## the_lissa

Yeah after 2.5 months, you'd know.


----------



## Shenjall

Its that whole "what-could-you-possibly-know-about-your-own-body-I-know-more-b/c-I'm-educated" attitude thats so annoying, isnt it?


----------



## beru

My MIL was convinced that the reason my son had a hard time potty training was because he was intact. She thought he was LESS sensitive down there and couldn't tell when he was wet.


----------



## In Exile

Quote:


Originally Posted by *beru* 
My MIL was convinced that the reason my son had a hard time potty training was because he was intact. She thought he was LESS sensitive down there and couldn't tell when he was wet.









Good Lord, do some people actually believe that???
In another Forum the hardcore circers keep believing that their circed boys are definetely safer from HIV...


----------



## umami_mommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *In Exile* 







Good Lord, do some people actually believe that???
In another Forum the hardcore circers keep believing that their circed boys are definetely safer from HIV...

intact or circ-ed only a condom will protect you. and not using IV drugs.

and hey, whatever you want to say to believe your reasons for cutting off part of your son's reproductive organs. you can't convince me.


----------



## amberskyfire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *honeybeedreams* 
intact or circ-ed only a condom will protect you. and not using IV drugs.

and hey, whatever you want to say to believe your reasons for cutting off part of your son's reproductive organs. you can't convince me.

I never understood how people could believe the whole AIDS thing. I think next time a woman says something like that I would ask her if she believes that cutting off her own sex organs would keep her safe from AIDS. If it works for baby boys, why not baby girls?


----------



## Lady Lilya

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
I never understood how people could believe the whole AIDS thing. I think next time a woman says something like that I would ask her if she believes that cutting off her own sex organs would keep her safe from AIDS. If it works for baby boys, why not baby girls?









Because scientists said so. NO, there couldn't possibly be any scientists who lie or are mistaken! Every single one of them is better than a normal human. Perfect in their knowledge and their goodness.


----------



## Kateana

I don't quite get the HIV part, but I can see how it would be better for hygiene or minor infections/issues... In the same way that cutting off your feet would prevent athlete's foot.









Back to the good stuff...


----------



## Anna1979

I'm the oldest of 4 girls and most people assume that my dad really wanted a son, which is completely intrue.

Well after my younest sister was born we went to church and afterwards one of the little old ladies come to see the baby and asked my mom what she had. So my mom says "a girl. What else" and the little lady looks at my dad and goes "well if you've got a mold for bricks you shouldn't try making shingles"

We still laugh about it.

Most babies in my family are girls.


----------



## Arwyn

I like that one. Welcome, Anna!


----------



## Anna1979

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ERSsmom* 
Here's one.

I was talking to an old friend about her dd that just turned one. Her dd doesn't go to daycare and I was complimenting her on it because she is really mainstream. She replied, "but I should put her in daycare because it is good for socialization. DD has no socialization skills." WTH? She's one!!









My mom had to go back to work when I was 4 months old and her mom watched both me and my sister and we are both well sociolized.


----------



## didkisa

This isn't exactly parenting stuff, but it is a pretty silly thing to say...and it's been said twice to me now.

I'm out with a friend and her baby, who is a few months younger than DD, which at this age is a big difference. We are each wearing our DDs (well, the first time it happened my friend had her DD in a stroller). We were asked if they are twins...wth?!? What makes someone even think to ask that? Oh, and in the first scenario the baby was half Chinese!


----------



## Twinklefae

Quote:


Originally Posted by *didkisa* 
This isn't exactly parenting stuff, but it is a pretty silly thing to say...and it's been said twice to me now.

I'm out with a friend and her baby, who is a few months younger than DD, which at this age is a big difference. We are each wearing our DDs (well, the first time it happened my friend had her DD in a stroller). We were asked if they are twins...wth?!? What makes someone even think to ask that? Oh, and in the first scenario the baby was half Chinese!










Along this vein... when I used to work in daycare, I was in a room of toddlers with another girl, and we'd go for walks in the big four man strollers. EVERY TIME we went out, some one would ask "are they all yours?" quite seriously.

Yes, I had four children all of the same age, different sizes and races. And so did my friend here.







:


----------



## MollyD

Not really sure if this fits here or not but..I'll try anyway

When my B/G twins were about 7 months old we went out shopping. Now keep in mind DS was dressed in a blue outfit, had a cute little baseball cap and a blue head rest on his carseat. DD on the other hand had a pink outfit, hair bow, pierced ears, and a pink head rest on her carseat.

I had one lady ask me if they were identical? I said no, one was a boy and one was a girl so they couldn't be identical. She kept asking and asked me (are you ready for this) "are you sure they are identical?" Like I wasn't sure what my own kids were. I assured her that is what the doctor said. Again she kept saying they look so much alike. I finally said well they maybe identical except his penis and her labia.

Shut the woman up. You would think I would know what my kids are.

Molly


----------



## MGibeault

Oh my Lord! The Homosexual nursing thing is hilarious, never heard that one before. Some people!


----------



## Anna1979

My sister was born in 1980 in eastern europe and when she was about two months old she asperated and it went into her lungs. By the time the ambulance got there she was blue. The doctors told my parents the she would probably not make it. Well after two months in the hospital at which time my parents only got to see her through the glass window into the NICU they finally got to bring her home.
Well the baby they brought home had a diaper rash so bad her little but was one bi sore,she had pnemonia (sp) adn when some had given her a shot they hit her siatic nerve and one of her legs was total useless. Needless to say my parents and grandparents spend the next three months nursing my sister back to health after the hospital released her as a healthy baby. My dad found an amazing pediatrician who agreed to take my sister on and my mom would take her every two days to get the cast changed on her leg and let me tell you know one took my sister out of my mom's sight after that. Thank god my sister was able to fully recover but to this day she hates hospitals and drs


----------



## EricaRain

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Socks for Supper* 
At 3 WEEKS old, my MIL was feeding him orange juice, strained fruits, and strained cereal. At 2 months old he was eating MEAT SOUP. uke And he has struggled with his weight his whole life (currently almost 100 lbs overweight for his height).

My MIL told me her Dr, when he decided she wasn't able to breastfeed, "didn't believe in formula" and therefore had her bottlefeed skim milk with a little pablum in it to DH for his entire first year. And then when DH didn't gain weight, they decided he must be hyperactive and prescribed "a depressant" (she said she doesn't remember what it was other then that it was supposed to discourage him from being interested in activity), despite that he was sleeping all day and night and already had to be woken for feedings.


----------



## Anna1979

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Corvus* 
I don't get why so many ppl insist that you MUST have at least one of each gender. I do think it's worse for those of us with all girls... most older people seem to value boys more than girls, so I think we hear that crap more than those who have all boys. Just my observation.

I've probably posted it here already, but my father's wife has been pulling this on us ever since we found out DD2 was a girl. She has never birthed a child but thinks she knows everything about pregnancy, birth, and raising children. Yet she is one of the coldest people I've ever known. She has asked me when we're going to "try for a boy." I said, "I don't know. We'll see how we do with 2 kids first." She said, "Oh, you'll want to try for a boy. Believe me. You gotta have a boy."

Huh?

What's worse is that she has said this in front of DD1, who is almost 3yo and understands everything we say. Plus, I am the youngest of 2 girls, and I was told my whole life that I was "supposed to be a boy." So it makes me feel pretty crappy to hear it again as an adult, from someone that I already know hates me.

I just don't want my kids ever alone with her. The stuff she spews is hateful and disgusting.

I won't deny that DH and I would LOVE to have a boy, IN ADDITION TO our 2 girls. We wouldn't change a thing about our beautiful, sweet girls.

ETA: Another gem from my father's wife. At my first labor, I pushed for 3.5 hours. At my second labor, I pushed for 45 minutes, and the baby was half a pound heavier than the first. My father's wife gave what she thought was a compliment: "Wow, only 45 minutes, and the baby was bigger! That's great! You didn't drag it out like last time?"

Yea, I "dragged" it out last time, because I was LOVING the pushing phase so much. I wanted to keep you all at the hospital waiting as late into the night as I could. That was my plan.

My mom is one of three girls and I am the oldest of 5 granddaughters that my maternal grandparents have and my grandpa is thrilled to have all girls.







: He's been in love with all his grandgirls since the moment we were born. None of us have ever felt like we were second choice and for that my grandpa is the second most important man in my life after my amazing dad.

When people say things like that they don't realize the love that they will miss out on in the long run because your DD will sense that this woman does not value her and will share that love with someone more deserving.


----------



## Anna1979

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mama8* 
I have already posted but I have some doozies to add. I have a big range in the age of my seven living dds. My older ones enjoy taking out the little ones when they go somewhere. Usually the older girls will have the little girls take turns going places with them. Well, my 15 yr old had taken my 2 yr old to the store where the 2 yr old had a hissy fit about not being able to keep grabbing things off the the shelves. While the 15 yr old is trying to pick up the writhing child off the floor and put an item back on the shelf a lady came up watched the scene for a moment and said with a sneering look on her face,"Being a teenage mom is *hard* isn't it. Bet you've learned your lesson now!" My dd felt 2 inches high and couldn't wait to tell the rest of us about it. Then my 17 yr old dd had my 4 yr old on the bus with her. Now my 17 yr old is radical in her dress. Lots of black and dramatic make-up but she is a really good person with a really good head on her shoulders. She was showing the 4 yr old things that were going by and this woman said in my 17 yr olds direction but not directly to her,"Sad there are so many single mothers out there and so young! I feel so sorry for the children!" My 20 yr old took out the 4 yr old too and got the "So young to be a mommy" comment. Our family was kind of














for a while because the older girls get these type of comments every so often. Now we have worked on a comeback "Yes, it is hard. Especially with the 3 other children I have at home." Now the reaction of these rude people is







: We as a family are







: I am just so happy that my older girls love carrying around their sisters in slings and including them in their activities. I just wish they could get the praise they deserve. What do these people think, that my girls got pregnant at 11 and 12 yrs old? Even it was true that they were out and about doing things with their babies and children wouldn't it be better to be supportive of these mothers and not add to their burdens?

As I've posted before I am the oldest of 4 girls and the is 15 months between me and the next one and then 12 years and almost 14 respectivley.

I was about 17 and took my yougest sister with me to buy some post cards during a family vacation and the clerk was a young guy a few years older then I was and in a very lame (to my 17 year old mind) attempt at a pick up line he looks at my sister and says "you have such a pretty mommy". My sister looks at him and puts her hands on her little hips and goes "that's not my mommy, geeze" let's just say he was left stammering an apology while I was laughin my







off. I'm sure he tought twice next time he wanted to to try that line again.


----------



## Twinklefae

My MIL is too passive-aggressive for some of the other jawdroppers posted here. She prefers to talk to the baby, or the floor.

My LO was born big and strong and has never had trouble holding his head up, or needed it to be held for him like a lot of newborns. I usually carry him over my shoulder, which freaks MIL out. Instead of saying something though, she took him from me and walked away, telling him "No wonder you can hold your head up, because NO ONE will do it for you!"


----------



## Anna1979

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DustysSweety03* 

I had dh's friend tell me when i was nursing my daughter that "nursing was gonna turn her in to lesbian".










I have a lot of lesbian friends and most of them were FF. I can't believe some of the crap people come up with


----------



## amberskyfire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Anna1979* 







I have a lot of lesbian friends and most of them were FF. I can't believe some of the crap people come up with

Hehe. I would have said "good, then I won't have to worry about her getting pregnant at 16







"


----------



## guardandolaluna

I was at Albertsons to buy some unflavored gelatin because my DD wanted to make homemade marshmallows. The cashier asked me what I made with the gelatin and why not just buy jello. I told her what we were making. She said, why wouldn't you just buy the marshmallows". I told her we enjoy making things from scratch. My DD#2 had crankipants longies on and she said, "did you make her pants too?" I explained they were diaper covers I bought, but yes they were handmade. I explained the CDing/wool cover thing. She said "Boy, you MUST have TOO much time on your hands!!" I told her that with three kids.. i made sure to MAKE the time


----------



## temama

My mother told my sister to stick her finger up her 3 week old sons bottom to get him to have a bm. Of course as soon as she finished saying this he had no problem letting one go ( my sister did not follow this advice). Anyone else been given this wonderful piece of advice?


----------



## cognito

Quote:


Originally Posted by *temama* 
My mother told my sister to stick her finger up her 3 week old sons bottom to get him to have a bm. Of course as soon as she finished saying this he had no problem letting one go ( my sister did not follow this advice). Anyone else been given this wonderful piece of advice?

I've heard this one! My aunt was told by a ped to do it. My stepmom just passed the info to a cousin. There's a big lack of education on that side of the family.









I know there can be a medical condition that makes the rectum too tight, but it is rare... My family members just need to quit using rice cereal so much with newborns.


----------



## beru

Quote:


Originally Posted by *temama* 
My mother told my sister to stick her finger up her 3 week old sons bottom to get him to have a bm. Of course as soon as she finished saying this he had no problem letting one go ( my sister did not follow this advice). Anyone else been given this wonderful piece of advice?

Actually, this does work. My son was painfully constipated and we did this as a last resort. Otherwise, we would have cancelled a weekend trip to get him to the doctor. It is the same mechanism that makes glycerin suppositories work. In our case, I think is was a good idea.


----------



## temama

The advice is good if baby is severly constipated, I would rather this than have to use anything else ( don't like to use anything unless absolutely necessary). The problem with the advice at the time was that 1. he is completely breastfeed. 2. That he was not having trouble with having a bm. 3. That he was grunting like babies do when they are trying to move their bowels. So the advice was not appropriate to the situation, and the fact that my mother thinks that you must do this everytime you think the baby needs to have a bm rather than letting nature take its course.


----------



## EricaRain

The problem is all too easily you've got a kid trained not to do a BM on their own and to depend on the extra help. It's at least better to cycle the legs and naturally help things move along, since they won't rely on it while it'll still help.


----------



## Anna1979

It's taken me almost a week but I've finally read all 239 pages

So here is a conversation I had with my bbf DP's mom while she is in the hospital in labour and the ob on call is pushing for a c-section and her mw are advocating giving her more time.

Me, bbf's mom and her DP's mother

DP's mother: What's going on?
Me: Ob is in there taking a look since the baby's heartrate dipped for a second and he's pushing for a c-section but bff wants to keep labouring.
DP's mother: Well if she just has the c-section she'll have to stay in the hospital for 4 days right?
Me: yup
DP's mother: That would give me some time to clean their apartment for them.
Me:







:
















2 hours later by bff gave birth to a healthy baby girl


----------



## catnip

Quote:


Originally Posted by *temama* 
My mother told my sister to stick her finger up her 3 week old sons bottom to get him to have a bm. Of course as soon as she finished saying this he had no problem letting one go ( my sister did not follow this advice). Anyone else been given this wonderful piece of advice?

Oh, I had a pediatrician tell me that I needed to take a rectal temp or use a glycerin suppository on my almost exclusively breastfed 12 w-o DD (we were formula supplementing about 2 ounces a day while we worked out some supply issues) if there was no bowel movement after a _day and a half_.


----------



## Hippie Mama in MI

Oh and I just HAVE to add this:

When I was 8 months pregnant atthe end of July, I had my baby shower. I was huge, hot, and my legs were swelling. My FIL kept saying how hot I was, how I should cool off. Then a minute later my FIL came running up to where I sat in the shade, carrying _a huge cooler filled with half-melted ice,_and DUMPED IT ON MY LEGS!!!!!!! I was so shocked all I could do was scream in agony!! I was soaked from crotch to toes, and ice cubes pooled around my feet. He's lucky I didn't go into labor right then from the shock. If I could have gotten up, I would have murdered him.

Kady


----------



## Dizzie

Comment: Are you drinking enough milk? If you don't drink enough milk, you will not be able to produce breast milk.
WTF???? It's not like cows drink milk to produce milk!!!! Nor is there a special channel where l drink and the milk pours straight out my nipples!

Another stupid comment about BF.
Doctor: Why are you still BF'ing? He is over 1. Does he not eat any food?
Me: Do you not know of the medical benefits of extended BF??? Where did you get your medical license?


----------



## 2bluefish

We had to do the finger in the bum thing with DS1 several times. He just couldn't relax and go - he'd scream in pain when he'd have to have a bm (back arching, kicking furiously). A pinky in the bum, and we were off to sleep, otherwise it could go on for hours. Rest assured, that phase only lasted a short time - I think it had something to do with gassiness from oversupply. Of course, now I've discovered gripe water which relaxes the bowel - that would have probably been more pleasant...

The dumbest thing ever said to me was also the meanest - when ds2 was in the NICU and we were faced with the choice of whether or not to withdraw support... "you just want him any way you can get him then". Uh, yeah, I want my baby. He's not a farm animal I'm trying to decide whether or not to cull. What a gross thing to say... ugh.


----------



## bigeyes

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2bluefish* 
The dumbest thing ever said to me was also the meanest - when ds2 was in the NICU and we were faced with the choice of whether or not to withdraw support... "you just want him any way you can get him then". Uh, yeah, I want my baby. He's not a farm animal I'm trying to decide whether or not to cull. What a gross thing to say... ugh.









That is absolutely horrible.


----------



## 2bluefish

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bigeyes* 







That is absolutely horrible.









Yeah, people should think before they speak sometimes. I'm sure this person has no idea how offensive that was, but she's the type that would be offended if I brought it up.... ugh.


----------



## bigeyes

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2bluefish* 
Yeah, people should think before they speak sometimes. I'm sure this person has no idea how offensive that was, but she's the type that would be offended if I brought it up.... ugh.

Too bad. I don't think I could let that one slide.







:
_
She_ would be offended?







: She offended me and I don't even know her. Yikes.


----------



## Hippie Mama in MI

This came from my 13-year-old niece, who (bless her heart) has a very hard life and is mostly uneducated:

(Baby crying in backseat of car)

Niece: (turning around in seat to yell at baby) "You shut up! You shut up or I'll come back there and stick that toy up your nose!"

I was shocked, but told myself that she was a child and didn't know any better. So I said, "Don't talk to him that way, it will only scare him and make him cry more. Why don't you say something nice to him instead?"

My niece is not treated well by most of her family, and it shows in her behavior toward my 17mo. One time she took away a toy that ds was playing with and held it just out of his reach... he would stretch out to grab it, and she would pull it away. This made me very angry, and I could not let it pass, but again I reminded myself that this is just a 13 year old child. I said, "Don't taunt him. He will never trust you if you taunt him like that, honey."

Her attitude has vastly improved over time. My son used to be terrifed of her; now he loves to have her hold him.


----------



## FarmerCathy

Awww... That is so wonderful! She is lucky to have an aunt like you to help learn how to be a nice person despite how she is treated at home.


----------



## butterfly_mommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hippie Mama in MI* 
This came from my 13-year-old niece, who (bless her heart) has a very hard life and is mostly uneducated:

(Baby crying in backseat of car)

Niece: (turning around in seat to yell at baby) "You shut up! You shut up or I'll come back there and stick that toy up your nose!"

I was shocked, but told myself that she was a child and didn't know any better. So I said, "Don't talk to him that way, it will only scare him and make him cry more. Why don't you say something nice to him instead?"

My niece is not treated well by most of her family, and it shows in her behavior toward my 17mo. One time she took away a toy that ds was playing with and held it just out of his reach... he would stretch out to grab it, and she would pull it away. This made me very angry, and I could not let it pass, but again I reminded myself that this is just a 13 year old child. I said, "Don't taunt him. He will never trust you if you taunt him like that, honey."

Her attitude has vastly improved over time. My son used to be terrifed of her; now he loves to have her hold him.









That makes me cry. Your poor niece, obviously she has heard those things said to her in her life. I am glad that she has wonderful aunt to teacher her and love her. I am sure that if/when she has children she will remember the things you have taught her and use those strategies. I have an aunt who is very crunchy and co-slept, cloth diapered, extended breast feeding, attachment parenting and showed me how to respect children the same as you would an adult. She has influenced me a lot and I knew when I was thirteen that is how I wanted to raise my children when I had them.


----------



## waiting2bemommy

My aunt (a divorced now-single mother herself) is planning to hide my son's existence forever from her 15 y/o son because I'm not married and it sets a "poor example." Forget the fact that I WAS married and am only single now because I chose between abuse and single parenthood







anyway, apparently she teaches her son abstinence-only and does not want him to know either the mechanics of sex or anything else about it. She plans to never tell him (EVER) that I have a child, and I am supposed to perpetuate this facade when I talk to him on the phone. Apparently she doesn't think he'll figure it out or find out at some point. And then I'm sure he'll be so grateful to his mother for keeping him away from his baby cousin for X number of years.


----------



## CanidFL

Quote:


Originally Posted by *waiting2bemommy* 
My aunt (a divorced now-single mother herself) is planning to hide my son's existence forever from her 15 y/o son because I'm not married and it sets a "poor example." Forget the fact that I WAS married and am only single now because I chose between abuse and single parenthood







anyway, apparently she teaches her son abstinence-only and does not want him to know either the mechanics of sex or anything else about it. She plans to never tell him (EVER) that I have a child, and I am supposed to perpetuate this facade when I talk to him on the phone. Apparently she doesn't think he'll figure it out or find out at some point. And then I'm sure he'll be so grateful to his mother for keeping him away from his baby cousin for X number of years.









WOW







:


----------



## Harmony96

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CanidFL* 
WOW







:

That's exactly what I said.


----------



## Pippi L.

On a lighter note, when my husband told his brother we were planning a homebirth, his brother (who wants to go to med school) was shocked. He gave all sorts of uninformed reasons why it was a bad idea. The best, though, was, "what about the dangers of not having an epidural?"







We still laugh about that!


----------



## nolonger

I've done my best to keep people at bay with this baby and even though I got much less stupid advice as a pregnant 42 year old than I did as a pregnant 22 year old, I am still so scared of the pospartum onslaught. I keep flashing back to:

"I'll hold the baby now so you can go get your dishes washed."

"But you have to have a playpen because it isn't safe to use that sling while you polish your silver."

And the woman who tossed a blanket over my 3 day old's head every time I tried to get her latched on and repeated over and over "I saw a lady at the park with a pretty blanket and nobody could even tell what she was doing." finally pissed me off so much that I ordered the 20-odd people OUT of my studio apartment so she not-so-subtly whispered to the guy I'd been dating for a month or two, "Don't take your eyes off her for a second! She obviously has that postpartum depression thing and if you leave her alone, she'll kill the baby!"

It's stressing me out just to think about it! No wonder I've only left the house once and haven't answered the phone since Terran was born and have been incredibly rude to my IRL friends on email! I don't like people! Make them go away!


----------



## Arwyn

Oh holy carp, NOS!


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2bluefish* 
Yeah, people should think before they speak sometimes. I'm sure this person has no idea how offensive that was, but she's the type that would be offended if I brought it up.... ugh.

I really don't understand why you would be worried about offending someone capable of saying something that horrible. Maybe if more people had told her her choice of words was cruel she would have learned to watch her mouth.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *waiting2bemommy* 
My aunt (a divorced now-single mother herself) is planning to hide my son's existence forever from her 15 y/o son because I'm not married and it sets a "poor example." Forget the fact that I WAS married and am only single now because I chose between abuse and single parenthood







anyway, apparently she teaches her son abstinence-only and does not want him to know either the mechanics of sex or anything else about it. She plans to never tell him (EVER) that I have a child, and I am supposed to perpetuate this facade when I talk to him on the phone. Apparently she doesn't think he'll figure it out or find out at some point. And then I'm sure he'll be so grateful to his mother for keeping him away from his baby cousin for X number of years.









Hmm, I think it's going to be hardest on him to be kept away from any family gatherings that you attend.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *noordinaryspider* 
I've done my best to keep people at bay with this baby and even though I got much less stupid advice as a pregnant 42 year old than I did as a pregnant 22 year old, I am still so scared of the pospartum onslaught. I keep flashing back to:

"I'll hold the baby now so you can go get your dishes washed."

"But you have to have a playpen because it isn't safe to use that sling while you polish your silver."

And the woman who tossed a blanket over my 3 day old's head every time I tried to get her latched on and repeated over and over "I saw a lady at the park with a pretty blanket and nobody could even tell what she was doing." finally pissed me off so much that I ordered the 20-odd people OUT of my studio apartment so she not-so-subtly whispered to the guy I'd been dating for a month or two, "Don't take your eyes off her for a second! She obviously has that postpartum depression thing and if you leave her alone, she'll kill the baby!"

It's stressing me out just to think about it! No wonder I've only left the house once and haven't answered the phone since Terran was born and have been incredibly rude to my IRL friends on email! I don't like people! Make them go away!

See, now here's a great task for your son. He's 15, right? That's more than old enough to make an excellent bouncer. Have him greet potential guests at the door with a mop.


----------



## Maggirayne

I have been reading this thread for oh, a couple months now, usu. when I need a good laugh. I decided to quote some that were just too funny or neat.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ramlita* 
Baby Myths Busted article- it's actually pretty good!

http://www.huggieshappybaby.com/info...nockcheck=true

Wow, I was amazed that this was on a mainstream webpage, yay!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *phathui5* 
When dh announced at a church meeting that we were having our fourth baby, his friend yelled (across the church), "You need a hobby!"

Luckily, dh yelled back, "I have a hobby!"

Hehe, I wish I had a chance to use this one. Or the bed snake one. My DH would die of embarrassment tho'.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lisarussell* 
I was shopping with a girlfriend and her son was hollering (happily) in the stroller and an old lady walked past and leaned into the stroller and said "Imagine that, coming from a little man like yourself. I think you're hot stuff, too, thank you." And she walked away, didn't even look at us. He must have been very amused by her.

What a great old lady!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MimiB* 
I had images of my son in college, walking into his dorm room with a whole case of thermoses. After his friends ask what that's for, he'd have to say, "It's breastmilk. My mom didn't give me solids during the 4-6 month window and I lost interest in food...forever."









Oh my , this one cracked me up!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MilkTrance* 
I guess that when DS graduates high school, he will do so while wearing a (cloth) diaper, nursing on my boob (lying down of course, because he can't roll over) and at 3 a.m. because we never put him on a schedule. All while I struggle to support his 200-lb frame on my hip, because, don't you know, I never put him down so he _never_ learned to be independent. When he marries, there won't be a wedding cake because I didn't start him on solids soon enough. They will toast with breastmilk. His wedding night will be spent in bed with me because we co-sleep and he'll just be TOO darn attached, but it doesn't matter anyway because his wife will want to sleep in a separate room so as not to catch the terrible diseases he will no doubt carry because we didn't vaccinate. Good thing, too, for if she slept in the same bed she'd see that we DIDN'T circumcise him! It's not such a bad thing, though, since his future wife won't know how DEMANDING he is, eating when he's hungry and all that sort of nonsense.

It just was never meant to be.

OH.MY.WORD. I've read 4200 of these and seriously (to me) this was the funniest! I could hardly stop laughing to read it to DH. I might just print that and put it on my fridge for when I need a laugh!!!


----------



## Lady Lilya

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
I really don't understand why you would be worried about offending someone capable of saying something that horrible. Maybe if more people had told her her choice of words was cruel she would have learned to watch her mouth.

Yeah. I wish some adults had said something to my father long ago. Hi is very hurtful. No idea how much he hurts others. Now it is habit.


----------



## boringscreenname

Not a parent yet, but I'm still posting these.

I have 3 younger brothers ages 19, 16 and 8. When the youngest was around 2 or 3 he always wanted to go with me in stores, and not our parents. No big deal except for the people who saw me with a toddler then automatically looked to see if I was wearing a wedding ring. I actually had one guy in the check-out lane, say to me "Aren't you a little young to have a kid?" I said "Yes, I am so it's probably a good thing this isn't my son." He shut up.

Last year I was talking to a co-worker, and he was ranting about how expensive kids are. I told him I believe it's more cost effective to use cloth diapers and breastfeed as long as possible. He looks at me in horror, then says "There's a reason cloth diapers stopped being used, they're unsanitary." Then he says his wife wanted to breast-feed their baby but he wouldn't let her because breast milk doesn't have all the vitamins, and nutrition that formula has in it and his kid was only going to have the best. The sad part is this guy is an EMT.


----------



## Arielle

I was told to not tickle my baby because she will not learn to talk until late in life...She was tickled all the time and could speak scentences at 14 mo.


----------



## RoseDuperre

Okay. I have been officially reading this thread since about a month and a half into my pregnancy. I'M STILL NOT DONE, but I had to share a gem from my dad.

He's a doctor, so you can imagine that his reaction to finding out about our planned home birth with a midwife didn't go over too well initially. I must say that he's now actually doing better than I thought he would, to his credit, but this is still, well, not great.

Now, he's the kind of guy that HAS to win arguments. We used to go at each other's throats about all kinds of issues, especially political ones, and we were both guilty of being contentious to a fault, BUT our relationship has improved a lot in recent years, due in part to both of us being able to let arguments go for the sake of peace.

Sometimes, though, to this day, he just can't resist. He thinks of some snappy (in his mind, at least) analogy & cannot help himself. So he called me this week just to say "Hey, I was thinking: If you ever need to file a lawsuit, you should do it with a paralegal instead of an attorney."

Get it? Get it?!? Oy.









Yes, Dad. Because human childbirth is so very much like the United States legal system.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RoseDuperre* 
Sometimes, though, to this day, he just can't resist. He thinks of some snappy (in his mind, at least) analogy & cannot help himself. So he called me this week just to say "Hey, I was thinking: If you ever need to file a lawsuit, you should do it with a paralegal instead of an attorney."

Call him up.
"Dad I was thinking about what you said the other day about using a paralegal instead of an attorney if I need to file a lawsuit. I've got an even better idea, the next time I get a splinter or stub my toe, I'll call an ambulance. Because if hospital care is necessary for some injuries, shouldn't I go there for *all* injuries?"

ETA:Assuming, of course, that you sometimes have fun fighting with him a bit.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *boringscreenname* 
Last year I was talking to a co-worker, and he was ranting about how expensive kids are. I told him I believe it's more cost effective to use cloth diapers and breastfeed as long as possible. He looks at me in horror, then says "There's a reason cloth diapers stopped being used, they're unsanitary." Then he says his wife wanted to breast-feed their baby but he wouldn't let her because breast milk doesn't have all the vitamins, and nutrition that formula has in it and his kid was only going to have the best. The sad part is this guy is an EMT.

Man, why do these sorts of conversations happen when it would be unprofessional to respond "well, you're clearly a UA Violation who knows nothing about babies and I bet your wife wishes she'd married a man with a brain."?


----------



## WhoNeedsSleep?

When I was pregnant with Patrick (my 2nd) I onnly gained 1 pound. I'd go up three pounds down four or five and back and forth. The day before he ws born, my mom and I were at Babies R Us. I do my third or fourth waddle to the bathroom and this woman goes OH MY GOD! You are the biggest pregnant person (Um?) I have ever seen!! When are you due!? What in the world are you doing walking around. She then when on to gush about how I was glowing. I explained that I had a c-section scheduled for that Friday (it was Monday) but I had no intention to be pregnant one more minute that I had to. I went into labor the next day. Thank God too Patrick was big enough for me.


----------



## WhoNeedsSleep?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *boringscreenname* 
Not a parent yet, but I'm still posting these.

I have 3 younger brothers ages 19, 16 and 8. When the youngest was around 2 or 3 he always wanted to go with me in stores, and not our parents. No big deal except for the people who saw me with a toddler then automatically looked to see if I was wearing a wedding ring. I actually had one guy in the check-out lane, say to me "Aren't you a little young to have a kid?" I said "Yes, I am so it's probably a good thing this isn't my son." He shut up.

Last year I was talking to a co-worker, and he was ranting about how expensive kids are. I told him I believe it's more cost effective to use cloth diapers and breastfeed as long as possible. He looks at me in horror, then says "*There's a reason cloth diapers stopped being used, they're unsanitary*." Then he says his wife wanted to breast-feed their baby but he wouldn't let her because breast milk doesn't have all the vitamins, and nutrition that formula has in it and his kid was only going to have the best. The sad part is this guy is an EMT.

I got/get this a lot. Usually about 3 seconds before they go "Oh my goodness that's the cutest thing I've ever seen!" I get that the most.


----------



## MilkTrance

Oh, about cloth diapers, the dumbest thing was --

"Oh, no none of MY friends do that, THEY all have more than ONE child."

Wow, way to be SMRT.


----------



## Arwyn

My aunt saw me holding Naked Baby in my arms and said "gave up on those complicated carrier things, huh?" Uh... no.







You just came in when he was just about asleep and so I didn't happen to have a carrier on me when I stood up.

She also said the potty bowl looked like a tophat, and thought it was HILARIOUS to say "look at you sitting on your little top hat!" _every single time_ we pottied him. (Only it was "wook at you sittin' on yer widdle top hat!" because this woman - a confirmed spinster - talks baby talk like no one else. It's like a compulsion.)


----------



## MommyofPunkiePie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MilkTrance* 
Oh, about cloth diapers, the dumbest thing was --

"Oh, no none of MY friends do that, THEY all have more than ONE child."

Wow, way to be SMRT.























up


----------



## Onemagicmummy

*There's a reason cloth diapers stopped being used, they're unsanitary*."

a snappy come back to this would be "so you wear paper Undies and chnage em everytime you go to the bathroom do you? Cloth diapers anre no more unhygenic than using, washing and re using CLOTH underpants"

Kiz


----------



## didkisa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Onemagicmummy* 
*There's a reason cloth diapers stopped being used, they're unsanitary*."

a snappy come back to this would be "so you wear paper Undies and chnage em everytime you go to the bathroom do you? Cloth diapers anre no more unhygenic than using, washing and re using CLOTH underpants"

Kiz

I was going to say this, too. And my retort would be, "No, disposables started being used b/c we live in a 'convenience throw-away society'." Not to mention that throwing disposables in a landfill with feces in them is very unsanitary. Landfills weren't set up to deal with that.


----------



## Lady Lilya

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RoseDuperre* 
Okay. I have been officially reading this thread since about a month and a half into my pregnancy. I'M STILL NOT DONE, but I had to share a gem from my dad.

He's a doctor, so you can imagine that his reaction to finding out about our planned home birth with a midwife didn't go over too well initially. I must say that he's now actually doing better than I thought he would, to his credit, but this is still, well, not great.

Now, he's the kind of guy that HAS to win arguments. We used to go at each other's throats about all kinds of issues, especially political ones, and we were both guilty of being contentious to a fault, BUT our relationship has improved a lot in recent years, due in part to both of us being able to let arguments go for the sake of peace.

Sometimes, though, to this day, he just can't resist. He thinks of some snappy (in his mind, at least) analogy & cannot help himself. So he called me this week just to say "Hey, I was thinking: If you ever need to file a lawsuit, you should do it with a paralegal instead of an attorney."

Get it? Get it?!? Oy.









Yes, Dad. Because human childbirth is so very much like the United States legal system.

A better analogy is going to a cardiologist for a general physical exam. You don't need a specialist by default -- only if the generalist finds something that needs the attention of a specialist.

Mainstream reasoning is kinda analogous to saying that since heart disease is so common, we have to assume we have it and go directly to a cardiologist.

Of course then that cardiologist will do every test imaginable trying to find the assumed problem with the heart.


----------



## RoseDuperre

^^ You're right, and also the person who suggested proposing a trip to the hospital for every splinter you get. My favorite analogy is actually from Dr. Marsden Wagner himself: Saying that you need an obstetrician to deliver a low-risk, uncomplicated pregnancy is like saying that you need a pediatric surgeon to babysit a normal, healthy 2 year old.









But I'm trying to avoid actively engaging with Dad, tempting as it is. This goes way deep with us, this constant debating, so I'm trying to transcend it as much as possible. *sigh*

(Those are great thoughts, though!)


----------



## lillake

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lady Lilya* 
A better analogy is going to a cardiologist for a general physical exam. You don't need a specialist by default -- only if the generalist finds something that needs the attention of a specialist.

Mainstream reasoning is kinda analogous to saying that since heart disease is so common, we have to assume we have it and go directly to a cardiologist.

Of course then that cardiologist will do every test imaginable trying to find the assumed problem with the heart.


I was thinking "No dad, I'll do it your way and hire Johnny Cochran to handle all my speeding tickets. You know, in case something goes wrong.


----------



## DogwoodFairy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AppleCrisp* 
From the bestselling book I intend to write called "My MIL Thinks I'm a Bad Parent, and Drives Me Crazy"

She's afraid that the tail of my sling is going to get caught by a passing truck and kill us.









: OMG!!!









Can I be your co-author?


----------



## AaronsMommy

My MIL told me that I could get arrested if I didn't buy my son one of those matching crib bedding sets (bumper, quilt, mobile, bed skirt).


----------



## ramlita




----------



## amberskyfire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AaronsMommy* 
My MIL told me that I could get arrested if I didn't buy my son one of those matching crib bedding sets (bumper, quilt, mobile, bed skirt).

OMG! You made me laugh so hard!


----------



## cj'smommy

When we decided not to circ DS #2 my SIL said "Don't you want your son to have a pretty penis?"


----------



## LaurenB

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cj'smommy* 
When we decided not to circ DS #2 my SIL said "Don't you want your son to have a pretty penis?"

WHAT???







What did you say to her? I wouldn't even know where to begin in response to the idiocy.


----------



## FarmerCathy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cj'smommy* 
When we decided not to circ DS #2 my SIL said "Don't you want your son to have a pretty penis?"

Pretty? What is that supposed to mean? People and thier wierd perceptions.


----------



## cj'smommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LaurenB* 
WHAT???







What did you say to her? I wouldn't even know where to begin in response to the idiocy.

I don't remember, I think I just shook my head and walked away. Obviously I do that a lot with her.....

She's also the one who recently asked why we would delay surgery for the baby we are currently expecting (very valid reason, he has a better chance for survival!) because it hurts more when their older. (?) Her exact words were "Why would anyone want to cause their baby pain?" I responded that we would never do anything to cause our children unnecessary pain, that's why we didn't circ DS#2 and we will not with this baby either. The reason it might be delayed is that it's brain surgery and if he's bigger he has a better chance of making it through the surgery.

I wanted to ask her "Well, why did you circ your son and are circ'ing the next one?" but I refrained.

Quote:

Pretty? What is that supposed to mean? People and thier wierd perceptions.
So true!


----------



## ramlita

Interesting contast of opinions there







:

Does she think circumcision and recovery are not painful???


----------



## veganone

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Twinklefae* 
Along this vein... when I used to work in daycare, I was in a room of toddlers with another girl, and we'd go for walks in the big four man strollers. EVERY TIME we went out, some one would ask "are they all yours?" quite seriously.

Yes, I had four children all of the same age, different sizes and races. And so did my friend here.







:









That's priceless!


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ramlita* 
Interesting contast of opinions there







:

Does she think circumcision and recovery are not painful???

Actually, the opinions in combination make perfect sense. She's clearly one of those deluded individuals who prefer to believe that newborns don't feel pain.

Too bad for her second son that hospitals don't make the parents come into the circumcision room with the babies.


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## Sour-Jane

Holy crap...

I just can't believe the things that have been said to you all, and I want to hug each and every one of you. I went through just about every emotion possible while reading this thread.

I have to agree with the person who posted that this thread should be a must read for people expecting their first child.

I'm expecting my first (EDD June 9th) and already I've had a few doozies.

Backstory:
I was born missing both my legs just above the knee, and my left arm just above the elbow, there is no real reason as to why, for all they know it could have been because of food preservatives, but it's just a case of "eh, poop happens, deal with it" but it was in no way genetic. I manage very well and up until a few moths ago before the swelling got so bad in my left leg I was very mobile and was able to walk (now I have to use my wheelchair to get around the house, I could crawl, but carpet burn sucks)

Ok, so a few years ago, I had casually mentioned to a so called friend that ONE day I would love to be a mother and I was told that I was selfish for wanting to bring a child into this world because I would never be able to take care of it properly because of my disability, and because I'd never be able to run around the backyard and play with my kid. Also that my baby was going to be kidnapped or at the very least be hit by a car because I wouldn't be able to run to get him/her. There were a ton of other reasons that she listed as to why I would be a bad mother, they all had to do with the fact that I'm an amputee... I was completely dumbfounded and didn't know what to say, but it still hurts. Keep in mind, this is coming from a woman who was pregnant at the time, she's a wanna-be nurse, her job is to wipe geriatric asses all day but because she was in the "medical field" she knew best. Throughout her entire pregnancy, she never took a damn vitamin "because prenatal vitamins cause miscarriages" she smoked at LEAST a pack of cigarettes a day, would drink at LEAST 1 2litre bottle of Pepsi a day. My fella and I were living with her and her husband at the time, and I did the majority of the cooking, and cleaning, for dinner I would usually make boneless skinless chicken breast and rice with mixed veggies in it, you know she picked out every last vegetable from her rice. Her diet consisted of chocolate pudding, chocolate bars and ice cream... She decided that she didn't want to breastfeed because she wanted to get "that kid" on a schedule right away and thought that breastfeeding was perverted. She circ'd her son because when he is a geriatric it will get infected and it's not fair to burden the nurse to clean his foreskin.. I saw her for the first time in over 2 years in the summer, she was telling me that her little son is hearing impaired, he is also overweight (this child is way more than a little chubby, he has cellulite on his belly, for a child at 1 1/2 that CANNOT be healthy), AND before she goes to work and leaves her son home with his father she draws a stick man and circles all the spots on it where he has bruises, then when she gets home she draws another one and compares them... She fell asleep while "resting her eyes" for a "minute" on the couch, the boy had managed to KNOCK DOWN the baby gate, go upstairs and get into the bathtub, thankfully he didn't turn on the tap, she said he was in there playing happily for quite a while before she realized she couldn't hear him near her and got up to find him and smack his ass for leaving the livingroom... And has the NERVE to say that because I'm missing parts I'm going to be a terrible mother, at least I'm not missing parts of my brain..

Here's a recent-ish one..
Just before the holidays, my boyfrusbands' father picked us up to go to the family Christmas lunch, I had mentioned that a few days later I had an appointment for an ultrasound, and didn't he start on about how I had better get the ultrasound tech to make sure "it" had all it's limbs and to see if they could check for fingers and toes. I just answered back very sharply "yup" I didn't know what else to say. Why would it matter? I don't care if my baby has legs or not, I've done fine without them for 27 1/2 years, as long as my baby is healthy it shouldn't matter... Goodness forbid my child come out like me... And really, as bad as it is to say, but if for whatever reason my baby was missing limbs, I'd much rather it be a "birth defect" than from a terrible accident.. You can't miss what you've never had, and I think it would be far more difficult to adjust to life as an amputee after an accident rather than be born with differences.

I've also had the "sleep now because you'll never sleep again for the rest of your life" type things said to me...

I'm starting to actually look pregnant now, before I just looked like I was really letting myself go, so now people can tell that there is a baby in there, I'm sure I'll be hearing tons more things to post about....

Sorry about the novel..


----------



## Harmony96

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sour-Jane* 
boyfrusbands'









I love that new word.

And







: for everyone making mean comments to you.


----------



## St. Margaret

Sarah. I cannot imagine what it must have felt like to get those comments. Welcome to MDC, too!


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## bigeyes

I don't know who I feel sorrier for, the kid or her 'patients.'

yikes


----------



## turnipmama

Quote:

has the NERVE to say that because I'm missing parts I'm going to be a terrible mother, at least I'm not missing parts of my brain...








Too bad you didn't say this to her directly, sounds like she deserved it!
There was a wonderful article either last month or the month before in Mothering magazine about two parents with disabilities raising 4 kids, all perfectly healthy! You sound like an awesome mama, sounds like that woman needs to worry more about herself.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sour-Jane* 
Ok, so a few years ago, I had casually mentioned to a so called friend that ONE day I would love to be a mother and I was told that I was selfish for wanting to bring a child into this world because I would never be able to take care of it properly because of my disability...

You know, it was really really nice of her to live the rest of her life in a way that made sure you wouldn't have the slightest bit of doubt that she might be right. I mean, if she was a fairly sensible person who showed signs of thinking and she'd phrased it in a nice way you might've been worried that she had a valid point.








for having a "friend" tell you BS just to make you feel bad.


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## tammyswanson

OMG! Your 'friend' should be reported to Children and Youth Services, she's a terrible 'mother'....


----------



## tammyswanson

Wow, I've been pretty lucky so far.
The worst thing that I've gotten was during Thanksgiving. My aunt and her girlfriends were there, and I had DS there WITHOUT SOCKS ON! GASP!!! Yeah, the house was HOT, too. They kept yammering on about how TERRIBLE it was that he didn't have socks on, how he NEEDS socks on, how could I do that, etc, etc. Yes, NOW I KNOW that the number one cause of infant mortality is lack of SOCK WEARING. How could I have been so foolish?!?!









Then some lady asks me if I'm 'vaccinating' him. I thought to myself, "what business is this of yours'. I lied and said, "yeah, sure".


----------



## Hippie Mama in MI

Here's one:

When I was expecting my first child, my dh wanted to find out the sex of the baby so we did.

When we told my in laws, "It's a boy!" The very first thing my MIL said was, "Well, I could have told you that. That's all we have, is boys!"

All with an undeniable smug satisfaction on her face. Sometimes I could just strangle her! Apparently, I haven't contributed any genetic material to my SON at all...


----------



## KurumiSophia

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tammyswanson* 
Wow, I've been pretty lucky so far.
The worst thing that I've gotten was during Thanksgiving. My aunt and her girlfriends were there, and I had DS there WITHOUT SOCKS ON! GASP!!! Yeah, the house was HOT, too. They kept yammering on about how TERRIBLE it was that he didn't have socks on, how he NEEDS socks on, how could I do that, etc, etc. Yes, NOW I KNOW that the number one cause of infant mortality is lack of SOCK WEARING. How could I have been so foolish?!?!









Then some lady asks me if I'm 'vaccinating' him. I thought to myself, "what business is this of yours'. I lied and said, "yeah, sure".

My MIL goes on about the sock thing too. It's so frustrating because DD refuses to wear the damn things. I have a whole grocery bag full of 'em and she refuses to wear a single pair. They get kicked off. It wasn't a battle I was willing to fight. Jeez. You'd have thought I was trying to kill my baby with the way she goes on about it.


----------



## puddle

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KurumiSophia* 
My MIL goes on about the sock thing too. It's so frustrating because DD refuses to wear the damn things. I have a whole grocery bag full of 'em and she refuses to wear a single pair. They get kicked off. It wasn't a battle I was willing to fight. Jeez. You'd have thought I was trying to kill my baby with the way she goes on about it.

At Thanksgiving my MIL told me all about how her MIL made such a big deal about socks and acted like she was a horrible mother for not putting socks on her babies. NOT FIVE MINUTES LATER she was stressing out over the fact that my dd was sockless!


----------



## mamalisa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KurumiSophia* 
My MIL goes on about the sock thing too. It's so frustrating because DD refuses to wear the damn things. I have a whole grocery bag full of 'em and she refuses to wear a single pair. They get kicked off. It wasn't a battle I was willing to fight. Jeez. You'd have thought I was trying to kill my baby with the way she goes on about it.

My dad did this with shoes. "He's never going to wear shoes if you don't make him!!" I'm happy to say, he's 7 now and wears shoes just about everyday. I'm so proud of him.


----------



## ed_tricia

The sock thing is just silly to me. I had a January baby and she always left the house in socks, but even very young she would pull them off. After the 10th person in a store harrassed me about my poor sockless kid, I told her to check my backseat cause it was full of socks! Even worse, I had ppl (total strangers!) upset b/c she wasn't wearing shoes-and this was before she even crawled. I didn't put shoes on her at all until she was over a year, and at 2 she still doesn't wear "normal" shoes, just soft soles.


----------



## angrypixiemama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ed_tricia* 
The sock thing is just silly to me. I had a January baby and she always left the house in socks, but even very young she would pull them off. After the 10th person in a store harrassed me about my poor sockless kid, I told her to check my backseat cause it was full of socks! Even worse, I had ppl (total strangers!) upset b/c she wasn't wearing shoes-and this was before she even crawled. I didn't put shoes on her at all until she was over a year, and at 2 she still doesn't wear "normal" shoes, just soft soles.

Same thing here, except we had a November baby who was pulling off her socks by March. The glares and comments I got were unbelievable. I still get asked when I will put her in REAL shoes (vs. softsoles that she finally decided she likes).


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## josh&davesmomme

I've gotten so many over the years...but one that really sticks out in my mind came from a "friend" who told me the way to get a baby to sleep through the night was to "give them a good smack, lay them down in their crib and walk away" she said they'd "learn" sure they'd learn, that mom was cruel and uncaring!

oh another.... when I was expecting my first ds I was at a babies r us store registering with my cousin ( who was childless at the time) and she said I needed to register for bottles, I had no intention of bottlefeeding and told her I was going to bf, she told me "eventually you'll need to wean to a bottle, that's how bfing works"


----------



## Elijahs Momma

nak.... when ds was a week old the dr. said he was nursing too much and that he should only nurse 20 minutes every 3 hours...

when i had a clogged milk duct around xmas (ds was 13 months old then) my grandmother said "oh, i guess you'll have to wean him now!) arg!!! she never even tried to breastfeed b/c the doctors said her nipples were inverted.

my mil worked at a daycare and the lady who ran the daycare told her that if babies weren't given solids by the time they were six months old then they would never learn to swallow right.. what do you think they do when they drink breastmilk? absorb it through their tongue?! this lady also said homebirths were the worst thing ever!

I'm sure theres oodles more that I'm just not thinking of right now, people are just so infuriating!!


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## MamaNan

I was due July 20 and it was a damn hot July. Around the 4th of July a total stranger said, "Maybe you should just have a c-section so you won't be so hot." Yeah, Great idea! I will have a c-section so I won't be hot. It was 97 degrees out...and guess what I was still hot after my baby was born.

I got asked at least 3 times a day, "Are you hot?" I started saying, "Yes I am, but so are you and your not pregnant...it is hot out...everyone is hot."


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## sapphire_chan

Re: socks

Anyone tried just handing over a bag of socks to MIL, FIL, aunty, whomever, and letting them know that if they care that much it can be their job to get socks on little feet? Might distract them so they don't bug you about anything else.


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## threadbey

hmmmm. to this point i've mostly avoided the whole sock thing by just keeping ds in his footie pjs all day. amazingly, no one's commented on that (or not that i remember). he's just gotten his first pair of soft soles, though, and we have been using socks more often. they sure are a pain. and, yes, all kinds of people comment on his poor cold feet whenever he manages to take them off.


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## Demeter_shima

Here's one from my mother:

When I was a baby, I had to have hip surgury because my left hip was dislocated at birth. It was a traumatic situation for everyone; a 18 month old having major surgury and all.
My aunt apparently cornered my mother in the restroom at a family outing and expressed her thoughts on the situation; apparently, she felt that my needing surgury was a result of "God" punishing my mother for her getting a divorce.
Yeah...this happened...dispite that fact that my father had an affair and left her with a newborn and a 7 year old.

My experience so far:
My during my 5th month of pregnancy, I had explained to my aunt and uncle (different one than story above) that I was planning to co-sleep to make breastfeeding easier. My uncles responce to that was "with the baby in the room with you?!?" as if this was the oddest thing he'd ever heard.
My aunt then began explaining that she bf'ed my cousin for a few weeks, but he was "hungry all the time" and it was too much.
She was a "stay at home mom" too...but she had no time to nurse.
Okay then.


----------



## Mrs. Bratton

Ok so this one isnt about parenting it's about TTC. Hope it qualifies.

DH and I are TTC and my cousin who is one of my best friends is one of the few ppl who know about it. We have been waiting to start trying for about 3 months and we just started officially trying last week when I ovulated. I told her all this in a conversation a few days ago. Well she just texted me and here was the convo. (I literally did this:







)

Her: "SO you wait to ovulate and I never stop!!! I swear I will never have problems having a baby. I ovulate more than anyone could ever imagine lol!

Me: "Huh?"

Her:"Youre trying to have a baby right??? So you have to wait to ovulate to try and get pregnant right? Well I cant stop ovulating. Its so gross!"

Me: "How do you know?"

Her: "Umm BC there's white crap in my panties lol. Ugh I so didnt want to say that."

Me: "Oh"

I guess she thinks when you have that non fertile, thick, creamy CM that you are ovualting and I guess she thinks that you just ovulate randomly! I didnt have the heart to correct her and make ehr feel dumb b/c I lover her so! Poor Dear. I wonder where she got that from. This girl is 21 and she engaged to be merried in August. (I'm only 20 and I have known better for years) But hey,those of us who are TTC, dont you wish that it was just that easy to know for sure when you are ovulating and dont you wish you just ovulated all the time??? lol


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mrs. Bratton* 
I guess she thinks when you have that non fertile, thick, creamy CM that you are ovualting and I guess she thinks that you just ovulate randomly! I didnt have the heart to correct her and make ehr feel dumb b/c I lover her so! Poor Dear. I wonder where she got that from. This girl is 21 and she engaged to be merried in August. (I'm only 20 and I have known better for years) But hey,those of us who are TTC, dont you wish that it was just that easy to know for sure when you are ovulating and dont you wish you just ovulated all the time??? lol

Might want to recommend that she read Taking Charge of Your Fertility when she decides she wants kids. But, um, wow. Even before I knew about fertility signs I knew you only ovulated once.


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## nolonger

Socks for babies are stupid and completely pointless and the only purposes they serve is for hanging from your rearview mirror or turning up between the couch cushions long after your kid has outgrown them and reminding you of just how tiny newborn feet are when you're irritated at your toddler.

That said, I bought some for Terran last Christmas because socks for Christmas are a tradition in our family and I didn't want to leave him out. I paid fifty cents a pair at the thrift store.

Then I put them on his feet before we went out because of sock nazis.

I was shocked that his babylegs have actually kept them on his feet and we haven't lost any yet!

The car nazis STILL think I'm an abusive parent because I'd rather take him out in a sling under a warm jacket and a raincoat than strap him in a plastic bucket to cry his eyes all alone (in his perception) out while I pay homage to Saint ExxonMobil.

Now don't get me started about hats....


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *noordinaryspider* 
Socks for babies are stupid and completely pointless and the only purposes they serve is for hanging from your rearview mirror or turning up between the couch cushions long after your kid has outgrown them and reminding you of just how tiny newborn feet are when you're irritated at your toddler.

That said, I bought some for Terran last Christmas because socks for Christmas are a tradition in our family and I didn't want to leave him out. I paid fifty cents a pair at the thrift store.

That's great!

(Small request though, please use "fascist" instead of "Nazi", thank you.)


----------



## CanidFL

Quote:


Originally Posted by *josh&davesmomme* 
I've gotten so many over the years...but one that really sticks out in my mind came from a "friend" who told me the way to get a baby to sleep through the night was to "give them a good smack, lay them down in their crib and walk away" she said they'd "learn" sure they'd learn, that mom was cruel and uncaring!

wow do we know the same person?? I had this comment yesterday. I thought for sure he was joking so I just laughed and he said "no I'm serious". I just kind of stared at him not really sure what to say and then he said "you know you want to. Who doesn't want to smack their baby from time to time?" I was speechless.

This morning my FIL was visiting and we have a little ernie doll that DS LOVES. He giggles and chews on it...just adorable. So I gave it to FIL and told him DS loves it. FIL was trying to push the hands and nose and asked why it doesn't talk or make noise. Then he took it from DS and threw it across the room saying it was crap because it didn't talk. Apparently toys that don't make noise are not good


----------



## ashleyhaugh

i had my first annoying comment since ds was born yesterday. people assume since hes my first, im an idiot, even though i practically raised my nephews, and worked in a daycare for 3 years....

anyway, its been cool here, but not cold. ds spent yesterday in a t shirt and baby legs and a diaper and socks. he was asleep when we needed to leave for the grocery store, so we just left him and put him in the carseat. we put the carseat on the basket while we were shopping. when he woke up, dh started playing with him. he really likes getting his feet played with, so dh took off the socks and baby legs. we were almost done, and dh was holding ds when a lady started talking to us about him- how old is he, is he your first, all that good stuff.

the she was like" well, i dont want to be rude, but since hes your first, i should tell you that my sisters twins are both in the hospital with pneumonia, and it really is too chilly for him to not have socks on" i said, oh hes fine, his socks are in the seat, we were playing with his toes







and she kept going on and on. she worked there, and was sittong on the edge of the cooler where i was trying to get chicken, lol... we kept telling her he was fine. we finally got away, and dh and i laughed about it... i mean, hello, pneumonia does not come from lack of socks! and my dh is a nurse for cripes sake, lol...

and never once did she mention the fact that he had no pants on, just the socks


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ashleyhaugh* 
the she was like" well, i dont want to be rude, but since hes your first...

I fully plan to respond to that remark with "actually he's my fifth", even if I've just been talking about how excited we are to have our first child and how new everything is.







I figure I'll be able to escape in the confusion.


----------



## ashleyhaugh

lol, i told dh next time someone asks im going to tell the "nope, ive got 5 more at home" lol


----------



## In Exile

Well, I do like my little guy's feet kind of covered, especially in winter since he get's pretty crabby when he get's chilly...so tights do a great job. i know here in the us pretty much only girls wear socks, but my mom send me a great selection of striped tights for my little boy and i have to say they beat babylegs! they don't leave red marks, his butt (and diaper!), legs and feet are warm, they fit, so there's nothing in the way for a little one that starts walking- and they are a breeze when changing a diaper.

Of course here in the US people seem shocked and appalled to see a boy wear comfy wooly tights, because as we all know, tights are for girls only.








I usually respond with saying that yes, he will be a ballet dancer, I will get in for free since he will be the main attraction and that I almost finishes sewing his little black velvet suit, oh, right after his sailor outfit...


----------



## sothisislove

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ed_tricia* 
The sock thing is just silly to me. I had a January baby and she always left the house in socks, but even very young she would pull them off. After the 10th person in a store harrassed me about my poor sockless kid, I told her to check my backseat cause it was full of socks! Even worse, I had ppl (total strangers!) upset b/c she wasn't wearing shoes-and this was before she even crawled. I didn't put shoes on her at all until she was over a year, and at 2 she still doesn't wear "normal" shoes, just soft soles.

People are crazy...I hate to see small toddling babies wearing hard soled shoes. One kiddo at church stepped on my fingers and those darn shoes really hurt me! I would hate for shoes like that to attack my crawling son's fingers. Soft soles all the way...and for several reasons, not just for finger insurance.


----------



## ashleyhaugh

yeah, tights are cool.... we were in germany for 3.5 years, so i got used to little boys wearing them. its just not that cold here, and we were inside. his feet were actually pretty toasty, even without socks on..

if we were somewhere colder, i would defintly have some cute tights for him, lol... i like the ones with faces on the butts


----------



## didkisa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
Might want to recommend that she read Taking Charge of Your Fertility when she decides she wants kids. But, um, wow. Even before I knew about fertility signs I knew you only ovulated once.

Yeah, I was going to recommend you give her this book, too. I read it at 33 yo and learned _sooo_ much!


----------



## MissE

DS doesn´t spend his days in anything else but tights. I love his chunky legs in those striped ones...they are just too cute and I can´t stop squeezing them. I haven´t had any rude comments about it in the US or in Germany.


----------



## veganone

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CanidFL* 
This morning my FIL was visiting and we have a little ernie doll that DS LOVES. He giggles and chews on it...just adorable. So I gave it to FIL and told him DS loves it. FIL was trying to push the hands and nose and asked why it doesn't talk or make noise. Then he took it from DS and threw it across the room saying it was crap because it didn't talk. Apparently toys that don't make noise are not good









Wow - someone has a temper problem... I can't stand toys that talk!


----------



## Hippie Mama in MI

Here's a response that I reserve for strangers who scold me for babywearing/breastfeeding/cosleeping/etc:

"What's that?? I'm sorry, I can't hear you over all that UGLY!"


----------



## jayayenay

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hippie Mama in MI* 
Here's a response that I reserve for strangers who scold me for babywearing/breastfeeding/cosleeping/etc:

"What's that?? I'm sorry, I can't hear you over all that UGLY!"

I don't get it.


----------



## jenP

Quote:


Originally Posted by *noordinaryspider* 
"I'll hold the baby now so you can go get your dishes washed."

Wow... it really never occurred to them to say, "I'll go clean up your kitchen, you just snuggle with your precious little baby"???

Quote:


Originally Posted by *noordinaryspider* 
"But you have to have a playpen because it isn't safe to use that sling while you polish your silver."

What? Polish the silver myself? Why, whatever would the downstairs maid have to do if *I* polished the silver?

Love that name, Terran.

Jen


----------



## tammyswanson

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
Re: socks

Anyone tried just handing over a bag of socks to MIL, FIL, aunty, whomever, and letting them know that if they care that much it can be their job to get socks on little feet? Might distract them so they don't bug you about anything else.









Ha ha! Better yet, keep some socks with you, so when you are shopping or out with your babe and people say "OH MY, he doesn't have SOCKS ON, he's going to get pneumonia/ear infections/leprosy/blinded " you can just pull out a rolled up pair and throw them at their head, while saying, "YOU try to keep socks on them, they just pull them off", or maybe, "Look, if socks were so DEPENDENT to their survival in hot weather, then mother nature would have had them BORN with either hairy feet or socks already growing on them".


----------



## umami_mommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jenP* 
What? Polish the silver myself? Why, whatever would the downstairs maid have to do if *I* polished the silver?









:

i was *just* saying that to DH the other day!


----------



## butterfly_mommy

Ok my first stupid thing said to me was when my baby boy was only 2 hours old!

I had him via c-section, my son weighed 9lbs 12 oz at birth. I was in recovery with my DH, my midwife, my mom and my baby boy. The nurse that was in there supervising me says out loud when my son started to cry. "that baby is big and hungry, he needs a bottle"







: "my midwife said. "no he doesn't need a bottle" nurse said "Well he is hungry and he is a big baby" MW answered "So we will put him to breast, besides mother will never consent" My baby had already had a moment to suckle at my breast thanks to my amazing MW who had him latched on as I was coming to. I was so mad, imagine what could have happened to a mom with less knowledge and support!

Then later that night another nurse told me not to let him use my breast to pacify or he will always be there...yeah and, were is the problem?


----------



## Hanilulu

Quote:


Originally Posted by *EricaRain* 
My MIL told me her Dr, when he decided she wasn't able to breastfeed, "didn't believe in formula" and therefore had her bottlefeed skim milk with a little pablum in it to DH for his entire first year. And then when DH didn't gain weight, they decided he must be hyperactive and prescribed "a depressant" (she said she doesn't remember what it was other then that it was supposed to discourage him from being interested in activity), despite that he was sleeping all day and night and already had to be woken for feedings.

That just made me cry for the poor little baby your DH was. I'm just shocked that that would happen. Thank God your husband survived in spite of the crazy doctor's advice.


----------



## Hippie Mama in MI

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Devaya* 
i know people are so often in a place of fear about birth that they feel they have to air it to others...but why dont people think first?

UGGHH. That reminds me of something my uncle said when I was 8 and a half months pregnant with my first baby, huge, ready to pop at any moment. He said, "I watched a show on the Discovery Channel about how the human female's pelvis isn't aligned right with her vagina anymore, because humans walk upright now. That's why human women have such a horrible time with childbirth, and it's so unbelievably painful... because their parts haven't caught up to evolution."

To top this off, he said this while sitting right next to me, surrounded by our entire immediate family at a wedding reception! I don't know what horrified me more: the idea that my misaligned parts would cause me horrifying pain, or the fact that my UNCLE was discussing my freaking VAGINA in front of my whole family!!!!








:


----------



## Hippie Mama in MI

Quote:


Originally Posted by *majorsky* 
My MIL made some attempts to name our DD before she was born and it really ticked me off. (She's a control freak anyway.) I felt like telling her, "You had your chance to name your own kids. Now let us name ours!"
Kristin

I get a lot of flak about my son's name (Aedan). I don't think it's so freaky, but many of the older folks in our family have commented on it.

My Great Uncle Jim: "That's not a name! Give him a real name!"

My Grandma: "There's still time to change it."

My Elderly Cousin: "OH! He's going to hate you for that!"

My So-Called Friend: "He's gonna get the crap beat out of him on the playground, you know."

By the way, I've read that the number one baby boy name in 2006 was Aedan (spelled in various ways). So HAH!


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## mom of B

I love the name Aedan.
People ask me all the time about DS shoes. He is 6 months old, why does he need to be wearing shoes? He can't walk.
My sister was fussing the other day about the sock thing. I told her to stick a pair in the front of her diaper bag to show to people and say they just fell off, then keep walking.


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## Wolfcat

Aeden is a great name!

I got my DS' name (Logan) from a romance novel... they use such creative, good-sounding names...


----------



## KristyDi

Ok this isn't really parenting, but it kinda fits here because it's stupid.

There is an older lady at my work. She's one of the sweetest people alive, but just can not fathom why anyone would want a natural un-medicated childbirth.

Since I mentioned that I was planning a natural childbirth she must have told me this story 3 or 4 times. Apparently her friend had 3 babies, all naturally. For some reason during each birth her tail bone cracked. My co-worker just kept going on and on about how if she'd just taken the drugs she could have avoided the cracked tail bone.

Now I can't figure out why this woman wound up with a cracked tail bone, but I'm pretty sure it's not something an epidural would prevent.

Oh and reading this thread has inspired me. Whenever someone makes one of those stupid, "If you don't ______ then your child will never learn to ____________." statements. I'm going to open my eyes really wide and look as innocent as possible and say, "Never, ever?" in a voice that drips horrified shock.


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## Mama_Meme

my step mom, when she came to visit, (my little one was 2 1/2 weeks at that point) said "do you just feed her whenever she's hungry?"
LOL!
I said "well, i eat whenever i'm hungry and i bet you do too, so why would it be different for her?"
oi!


----------



## jessica_lizette

DP's family is chock full of great advice!!!

MIL told me baby talk will make him stupid, and not to let him walk to early, as it will hurt his spine. So I guess I'm just supposed to strap him down once he starts trying to walk?









When DS was about 5 days old, FIL was holding him, and he started doing his hunger cues. I told him that I needed to feed him, because he was starting to look hungry. I was told to ignore these cues, because the baby would start to figure out that he will be fed whenever he makes that face. I told him that's the point!!


----------



## umami_mommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KristyDi* 
My co-worker just kept going on and on about how if she'd just taken the drugs she could have avoided the cracked tail bone.

Now I can't figure out why this woman wound up with a cracked tail bone, but I'm pretty sure it's not something an epidural would prevent.

if she had gotten a chiropractic adjustment, she could have avoided that cracked tailbone!


----------



## In Exile

Quote:


Originally Posted by *honeybeedreams* 
if she had gotten a chiropractic adjustment, she could have avoided that cracked tailbone!


That's irony, right?? Because mine is still hurting like hell, despite the Chiropractor...







:


----------



## Wolfcat

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KristyDi* 
Whenever someone makes one of those stupid, "If you don't ______ then your child will never learn to ____________." statements. I'm going to open my eyes really wide and look as innocent as possible and say, "Never, ever?" in a voice that drips horrified shock.


















I LOVE these statements: My old pedi said if I didn't get DS to drink from a sippy cup (at about 6-7 mo) I would "miss the window of opportunity." I almost laughed aloud thinking of poor DS going to college with a collection of bottles 'cuz he couldn't drink from a sippy cup all those years ago... I got the same general thing about eating w/ silverware, straws (DS has had those down since ~9 mo), stair climbing, and, of all things, patty-cake!!


----------



## jenP

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Wolfcat* 















, and, of all things, patty-cake!!









Oh yeah, didn't you know failure to teach patty-cake by 9 months is tantamount to child abuse!! I found that out the hard way, to the shocked stares and exclamations of the in-laws... "what?! you haven't taught her PATTY-CAKE!??!!"

I think I've only heard that level of disbelief again yesterday when they asked what grades DD is getting (this is kindergarten, mind you) and I told them her school does not have grades or report cards.

Jen


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## llamalluv

I just heard a doozy of one a few days ago:

"I *had* to have a c-section because dd's head was almost 13 inches around, and you only dialate to 10 cm. That was just too tight to push her out."

I know I flunked calculus, but I'm pretty sure that 10 cm diameter is 12.5 inches circumference.


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## jessica_lizette

A little OT, but I had to share this one.

This was the response of one of my coworkers after I told her I was going to have a natural birth in a birth center:

"I'm going to go natural next time, too. With an epidural, of course. Are you going to have one too?"


----------



## jayayenay

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jessica_lizette* 
A little OT, but I had to share this one.

This was the response of one of my coworkers after I told her I was going to have a natural birth in a birth center:

"I'm going to go natural next time, too. With an epidural, of course. Are you going to have one too?"










Sadly, "natural childbirth" to many women simply means "vaginal childbirth," regardless of the amount of drugs they pump through your system.


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## sunnymw

This is more irritating than anything. I've always been the DIL that "hogs" her child instead of letting them spend the night at six months (I was also the only one BFing!)... so now that DS is 15 months old, I've started inviting family members to spend time with him. Just in the past few weeks, I've talked to MIL and said "If you want to pick DS up and go shopping or whatever, he'd be more than happy to join you!" (DS is literally on her way to town). Or, "If you want me to bring DS over to play sometime I'd be more than happy to."

Her response, always "Nooo not today, I'm busy with XYZ..." Me: "Okay, well whenever, even if it's not today just call anytime." "Okay"

Phone never rings. Word gets around back to me that I'm the DIL that "Never lets me spend any time with my grandbaby!"

What, so not letting a night-nursing babe spend the night but offering to let you spend time with him during the day is.... wrong...? I mean, how much time are you going to spend with him while he's asleep anyway? Do you really want to be up all night trying to comfort him without milk in your breasts?

Just don't get it.


----------



## jayayenay

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sunnymw* 
Her response, always "Nooo not today, I'm busy with XYZ..." Me: "Okay, well whenever, even if it's not today just call anytime." "Okay"

Phone never rings. Word gets around back to me that I'm the DIL that "Never lets me spend any time with my grandbaby!"

And people who spread lies like that are absolutely NOT allowed unsupervised time around my child. Self-fulfilling prophecy, much?


----------



## Zuzu822

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sunnymw* 
This is more irritating than anything. I've always been the DIL that "hogs" her child instead of letting them spend the night at six months (I was also the only one BFing!)... so now that DS is 15 months old, I've started inviting family members to spend time with him. Just in the past few weeks, I've talked to MIL and said "If you want to pick DS up and go shopping or whatever, he'd be more than happy to join you!" (DS is literally on her way to town). Or, "If you want me to bring DS over to play sometime I'd be more than happy to."

Her response, always "Nooo not today, I'm busy with XYZ..." Me: "Okay, well whenever, even if it's not today just call anytime." "Okay"

Phone never rings. Word gets around back to me that I'm the DIL that "Never lets me spend any time with my grandbaby!"

What, so not letting a night-nursing babe spend the night but offering to let you spend time with him during the day is.... wrong...? I mean, how much time are you going to spend with him while he's asleep anyway? Do you really want to be up all night trying to comfort him without milk in your breasts?

Just don't get it.

My ILs are the exact same way. They would never make an effort or take us up on offers, but somehow I'm the one with "issues". We don't have any relationship with them anymore.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jayayenay* 
And people who spread lies like that are absolutely NOT allowed unsupervised time around my child. Self-fulfilling prophecy, much?

Exactly, after the abusive way my FIL behaved toward me IN FRONT OF DS (with my MIL doing nothing to stop it) there's no way in this world or the next they're gettting any time with him or the new baby, supervised or not.


----------



## Wolfcat

Quote:


Originally Posted by *llamalluv* 
"I *had* to have a c-section because dd's head was almost 13 inches around, and you only dialate to 10 cm. That was just too tight to push her out."

I know I flunked calculus, but I'm pretty sure that 10 cm diameter is 12.5 inches circumference.

Ya know, I would have KILLED for numbers like that. I went into second stage at 8 cm and DS' head was 15 inches!


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## ramlita

I love that, "you only dilate to 10 cm."

As if we all have identical pelvises that know exactly how big 10 cm is.









This sort of math isn't my strong point either, but our babies with 15" heads needed more space to get out than the baby with the 13" head. Do moms with tiny preemies dilate all the way to 10 cm, even if the baby doesn't need that much space?


----------



## In Exile

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jayayenay* 
And people who spread lies like that are absolutely NOT allowed unsupervised time around my child. Self-fulfilling prophecy, much?


Of course it's all your fault. You job is to dump off the Grandchild at the Grandparent's door with a can of ready mixed formula and a clock- so that they can TIME the 4 hours after which they will GLADLY shove the formula in Grandchild's mouth. It has to be the "overnight visit" to count..

Any offer on your part will not count as long as you are there and nursing.









I am still the jerk because I refused to pass DS (4.5 months at the time) around 200 (!!!) people, some of which stood in front of me and seriously said "it's my turn now"- nobody seemed to noticed that it was NOBODY's turn, after 3 days of bruahaha and 6 cameras flashing in his face at once I just had it. Nobody seemed to notice that he was scared by all that- he was just a "mama's boy". Boy, did I grow a backbone...


----------



## beanbean

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sunnymw* 
This is more irritating than anything. I've always been the DIL that "hogs" her child instead of letting them spend the night at six months (I was also the only one BFing!)... so now that DS is 15 months old, I've started inviting family members to spend time with him. Just in the past few weeks, I've talked to MIL and said "If you want to pick DS up and go shopping or whatever, he'd be more than happy to join you!" (DS is literally on her way to town). Or, "If you want me to bring DS over to play sometime I'd be more than happy to."

Her response, always "Nooo not today, I'm busy with XYZ..." Me: "Okay, well whenever, even if it's not today just call anytime." "Okay"

Phone never rings. Word gets around back to me that I'm the DIL that "Never lets me spend any time with my grandbaby!"

We have the same MIL!! Mine also has NPD. That's a lot of fun.


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## Frisha

Psst just a FYI 10cm is just under 4 inches so that math really doesn't work.


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## Arwyn

"10 cm" is what they call it when no more cervix can be felt around the baby's head, not an accurate, objective measurement. And a diameter of 10cm (4 inches) means the circumference (which is the way babies' heads are measured) is somewhere over 12 inches (about 12.4). But like I said, "10 cm" doesn't actually mean a real ten centimeters.


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## valkyrina

All kinds of fun things get said to you with twins:

I'm 7 mos. pregnant, lady at pharmacy checkout: "Oh my god, you are just ready to pop, aren't you?"
me: well, no, it's twins (stupid me, telling people that)
her: "Oh my god, you poor thing! Now you'll never be able to get pregnant again!"
me: :








her: "Because it will just be more twins!"
me:









Silly me, not realizing that once you have twins, you are doomed to always have them again EVERY TIME you get pregnant! And also silly me for not realizing the horror that would bring!

Here's one I get all the time:

stranger: Oh, twins! A boy and a girl, right?
me: Nope, both boys. Identical boys.
stranger: Oh, but you don't dress them alike!
me: Well, they're twins, not clones.


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## matey

My sons middle name is Valentine. When my mother told my grandma that we were going to name our son Jack Valentine she became concerned saying "oh no, not for a boy..."
This grandma is my dad's mom.
My dad's name?
James Valentine.


----------



## matey

Also I wanted to add that it annoys me when people are bothered if I dont throw my child into their arms. They think I am supposed to run around saying "who wants to hold the baby?!" and if I dont, it is because I am selfish.

If they want to hold him say, "can i hold him" and if I say "no, I need to feed him," don't get offended. I am sure they dont want to hold a screaming baby.

Today my dh's cousin gave me 300 tips on feeding rice cereal to my 8 week old.
According to her..."The problem with breast feeding is that those babies take so long to sleep through the night. Trinity was sleeping through the night by 8 weeks. The doctor said to feed her rice cereal at night, but I just did it all day and then cut a bigger hole in the nipple of her night bottle. Then I would feed her a lot so she would be too full to wake up."

That seems very weird. But, wimp-a-sauras me said, "oh, hmmm"


----------



## umami_mommy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *valkyrina* 

stranger: Oh, twins! A boy and a girl, right?
me: Nope, both boys. Identical boys.
stranger: Oh, but you don't dress them alike!
me: Well, they're twins, not clones.









:


----------



## HappyFox05

Quote:


Originally Posted by *valkyrina* 
All kinds of fun things get said to you with twins:

I'm 7 mos. pregnant, lady at pharmacy checkout: "Oh my god, you are just ready to pop, aren't you?"
me: well, no, it's twins (stupid me, telling people that)
her: "Oh my god, you poor thing! Now you'll never be able to get pregnant again!"
me: :








her: "Because it will just be more twins!"
me:









Silly me, not realizing that once you have twins, you are doomed to always have them again EVERY TIME you get pregnant! And also silly me for not realizing the horror that would bring!

Here's one I get all the time:

stranger: Oh, twins! A boy and a girl, right?
me: Nope, both boys. Identical boys.
stranger: Oh, but you don't dress them alike!
me: Well, they're twins, not clones.









: Thanks for the morning laugh!


----------



## sothisislove

Quote:


Originally Posted by *matey* 
Also I wanted to add that it annoys me when people are bothered if I dont throw my child into their arms. They think I am supposed to run around saying "who wants to hold the baby?!" and if I dont, it is because I am selfish.

If they want to hold him say, "can i hold him" and if I say "no, I need to feed him," don't get offended. I am sure they dont want to hold a screaming baby.

Today my dh's cousin gave me 300 tips on feeding rice cereal to my 8 week old.
According to her..."The problem with breast feeding is that those babies take so long to sleep through the night. Trinity was sleeping through the night by 8 weeks. The doctor said to feed her rice cereal at night, but I just did it all day and then cut a bigger hole in the nipple of her night bottle. Then I would feed her a lot so she would be too full to wake up."

That seems very weird. But, wimp-a-sauras me said, "oh, hmmm"


Pretty sure that when I try to go to bed with a stuffed belly I end up just laying there...miserable.


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## jessica_lizette

My FIL asked me WHY I hadn't started feeding the baby rice cereal yet. He was only 7 weeks old, and 13 lbs at the time...


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## krankedyann

My favorite- whenever people accuse my husband and I of spoiling the baby, and we got that comment from just about everyone over 40 who knew us, his response was, "She isn't spoiled, she's well preserved." They almost always laughed.

Later they'd comment about what good children they were, but of course no one ever seemed to put two and two together.


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## krankedyann

I'm only on poast 386, but I'll add mine.

I carry all of my weight in my middle, and I'm very short waisted. So I have nowhere for my babies to go but out.

I was 6 months or so along, and at church one Sunday. We were greeting everyone, and a woman asked when I was due and I told her. Her response was, "Dear LORD, you're HUGE!!!! Are you sure you're not carrying twins???" I swear half of the congregation turned and looked. I could have crawled under the pew. Later, the same woman asked again if I was having twins, and when I told her no, she told me that my midwife must be an idiot, that it was obvious to anyone. When I showed up with only one baby after the birth, I wonder what she thought? I avoided her from then on.


----------



## katiedidbug

Quote:


Originally Posted by *matey* 
My sons middle name is Valentine. When my mother told my grandma that we were going to name our son Jack Valentine she became concerned saying "oh no, not for a boy..."
This grandma is my dad's mom.
My dad's name?
James Valentine.

Oh my, that's funny.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *matey* 
Also I wanted to add that it annoys me when people are bothered if I dont throw my child into their arms. They think I am supposed to run around saying "who wants to hold the baby?!" and if I dont, it is because I am selfish.

If they want to hold him say, "can i hold him" and if I say "no, I need to feed him," don't get offended. I am sure they dont want to hold a screaming baby.

Today my dh's cousin gave me 300 tips on feeding rice cereal to my 8 week old.
According to her..."The problem with breast feeding is that those babies take so long to sleep through the night. Trinity was sleeping through the night by 8 weeks. The doctor said to feed her rice cereal at night, but I just did it all day and then cut a bigger hole in the nipple of her night bottle. Then I would feed her a lot so she would be too full to wake up."

That seems very weird. But, wimp-a-sauras me said, "oh, hmmm"

I will never get over that one. It's probably better that you're a wimp-a-saurus. I would just freak out on someone if they said that to me. Maybe that's why I don't have many friends, lol.


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## TeaLeaf

One of the worse thing I heard from a family member is to stop co-sleeping and BF (start solids) b/c DS needs to be independent.

He is 4 month old.









I said that of course, silly me, I should just teach him how to drive tomorrow and have him get his own grub at the store.


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## amberskyfire

My mother (who is a very loving good woman, by the way - just not too bright when she was pregnant with me at age 18) said:

"When I was pregnant with you back in 1979, the doctor told me not to smoke because it would make me have a tiny baby - so I started smoking a pack a day!"

Gee. THANKS, Mom. Love you, too.







:


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## Muaile

i went to the paediatrician last week for my sons yearly check. the baby nurse who was there saw my ds sucking his thumb








and said "you'd want to stop him doing that soon"
instead of ignoring it as i normally do, i said 'how would you suggest i do that?'
she replied...wait....she said "put wasabi or strong mustard on his thumb"










the paediatrician nearly fell off her chair and spluttered "eh no i wouldn't advise you do that at all"

this 'babynurse' visits new mamas to advise them.... daily....

god only knows what other nuggets of advise she offers them!!!!


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## Muaile

reading this has given me some huge laughs, but more than anything it has made me sad. i hate this world sometimes, with "cross-species feeding" and "convienient birth".

i had coffee with an old friend of mine the other day and her new baby...

she is on maternity leave until september but leaving her 2 year old son in his 7-7 creche instead of having him at home with her. she said "he has a routine in creche" i held myself back from saying "they've routines in prison"

she also said she didn't breastfeed because she tried and just didn't enjoy it.
her baby was a premie by the way, so you'd think she would have put up with it ey? who ever said you should enjoy it anyway? its what you do, its just what you DO. i'm so angry with all this modern day backwards beliefs.

i know someone who had an elective caesarean because they were told the baby would be hard to deliver as it would be over 9 lbs. Funny how all the women for that week all had their sections on the same day isn't it!!

i'm tired of being the "hippy" because i breastfeed, i'm sick of people saying "you need to get your life back" - huh? i'm sick of people telling me i'm doing my son "no favours" by not leaving him with babysitters more often (i go out with my 'boyfhusband' every few weeks), i don't even know what that means...

i'm not coming back to this post - it just reminds me how much of a battle it is to do what we should be doing for our kids. i'm tired of the fight - but grateful for this website and all the beautiful mamas who stand in the frontlines with me xxx


----------



## Jennifer Z

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Muaile* 
i went to the paediatrician last week for my sons yearly check. the baby nurse who was there saw my ds sucking his thumb








and said "you'd want to stop him doing that soon"
instead of ignoring it as i normally do, i said 'how would you suggest i do that?'
she replied...wait....she said "put wasabi or strong mustard on his thumb"










the paediatrician nearly fell off her chair and spluttered "eh no i wouldn't advise you do that at all"

this 'babynurse' visits new mamas to advise them.... daily....

god only knows what other nuggets of advise she offers them!!!!

On a funny note, that would just made it worse for my son. He loves hot and spicy flavors, even as a young toddler. (we discovered this accidently, of course...he snagged one of dh's chips with hot sauce on it and crammed into his mouth, then wanted more).


----------



## triscuitsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jennifer Z* 
On a funny note, that would just made it worse for my son. He loves hot and spicy flavors, even as a young toddler. (we discovered this accidently, of course...he snagged one of dh's chips with hot sauce on it and crammed into his mouth, then wanted more).









Mine too! I thought I had the only weird child









He *loves* hot pasta sauce and bring on the wasabi rice chips (that neither my Mom or I will eat because they are too hot







).


----------



## N8'sMom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *krankedyann* 
I'm only on poast 386, but I'll add mine.

I carry all of my weight in my middle, and I'm very short waisted. So I have nowhere for my babies to go but out.

I was 6 months or so along, and at church one Sunday. We were greeting everyone, and a woman asked when I was due and I told her. Her response was, "Dear LORD, you're HUGE!!!! Are you sure you're not carrying twins???" I swear half of the congregation turned and looked. I could have crawled under the pew. Later, the same woman asked again if I was having twins, and when I told her no, she told me that my midwife must be an idiot, that it was obvious to anyone. When I showed up with only one baby after the birth, I wonder what she thought? I avoided her from then on.

Oh my gosh. How rude is she??? People really need to think twice about commenting on a pregnant woman's size/weight.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *krankedyann* 
My favorite- whenever people accuse my husband and I of spoiling the baby, and we got that comment from just about everyone over 40 who knew us, his response was, "She isn't spoiled, she's well preserved." They almost always laughed.

Later they'd comment about what good children they were, but of course no one ever seemed to put two and two together.

Oh I'd make the connection for them "Good children come from so-called "spoiled" babies."

(Actually, that gives me an idea for if I get the "spoiled" comment with Aka_chan: "Can't make cheese without curdling.")


----------



## llamalluv

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Frisha* 
Psst just a FYI 10cm is just under 4 inches so that math really doesn't work.

Yes, 10 cm IS 4 inches, but you are forgetting that that is the "diameter", which must be multiplied by pi to reach the circumference. That comes to 31.4 cm, which is about 12.5 inches.


----------



## Dov'sMom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *llamalluv* 
Yes, 10 cm IS 4 inches, but you are forgetting that that is the "diameter", which must be multiplied by pi to reach the circumference. That comes to 31.4 cm, which is about 12.5 inches.

And the average baby's head at birth is 36 CM or 14". So the math doesn't work.

Except, of course, that we stretch...


----------



## catnip

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
My mother (who is a very loving good woman, by the way - just not too bright when she was pregnant with me at age 18) said:

"When I was pregnant with you back in 1979, the doctor told me not to smoke because it would make me have a tiny baby - so I started smoking a pack a day!"

Gee. THANKS, Mom. Love you, too.







:

In 1973, when my mom was pregnant with me, they suggested starting smoking to keep your weight gain under control while you were pregnant.


----------



## amberskyfire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *catnip* 
In 1973, when my mom was pregnant with me, they suggested starting smoking to keep your weight gain under control while you were pregnant.

That's just sick







: You have to wonder where they came up with some of this stuff!


----------



## scifimama

here's mine:

when ds was born, the hospital ped came in and asked us what his name was for paperwork. we hadn't decided yet. so he told me that our son wasn't "legally a person yet" and that we couldn't leave the hospital until we put a name down for him. we did decide on a name before leaving the hospital but i was so hormonal when he first came in that i cried and cried because he said my baby wasn't a person. i feel silly about it now. but he was a jerk to us about our sons jaundice also and i refused to drive my baby back to that hospital to be seen by him. we just took him to our ped instead.


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## ramlita

They'll say anything to get their way sometimes!
And they don't care how they make you feel if it helps them get their paperwork done faster

























Good for you for seeking out someone better


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## Lady Lilya

My friend didn't supply a name while in the hospital, and the hospital filed the paperwork with the name Baby Boy Father's-lastname. She got a birth certificate and social security card with that name and had to change it legally to Adam Mother's-lastname.


----------



## New_Natural_Mom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TinyMama* 
Old Lady with Large Coffee and Larger Hair, as I pull up my shirt (discreetly, btw): "Oh, dear, you're not going to nurse her HERE, are you?"
My little buddy: "Well, YOU'RE eating here, aren't you?"
Old Lady: "Humph!"
My little buddy: "Humph! to you! You're mean!"

Of course, part of the reason I mentor Little Buddy is to help him get his outbursts under control (he has Asperger's), but I told him, "Little buddy, sticking up for people is a time when it's okay to say what you think."









Oh, I loooove that. How precious!!!!


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dov'sMom* 
And the average baby's head at birth is 36 CM or 14". So the math doesn't work.

Except, of course, that we stretch...

How do they measure the head while it's in the birth canal? Because I'm pretty sure that the skull starts spreading out immediately after exiting.


----------



## Lizzardbits

Sunday, we were over at my in-laws celebrating my FIL's birthday. While we were eating cake BOTH my in-laws suggested that i let my 6 WEEK old taste the frosting because "he'd like it" and that he was drooling looking at it. I kindly reminded them that breastmilk's flavor changes with the foods that i eat, so Alex may indeed taste it later. My Hubby piped in with "Besides nothing will put you on my wife's bad side faster than suggesting that the baby have tablefoods" (yay Hubby!)

after cake, we had sat down to watch tv, and me to nurse Alex. MIL piped up with, "oh, he can _finally_ have his cake." (uhh--i don't think that the flavors of the cake instantaniously transferred to my milk, but i didn't say anything. pick you battles type of thing.)

UGGGH! why are people in such a rush to have babies eat solids?!

oh, another was my health visitor trying to give me info about weening at 6 months. i told her that i probably won't be doing that and she could keep her pamphlet for the next person, as my daughter only had breastmilk until she showed interest in solids at 10 months and that she breastfed until she quit at 18 months. I got an "Oh, is _that_ what they tell you to do in America?" Uhh-no, _that_ is what my daughter wanted to do, plus i would have breastfed her longer as the WHO advises, but *she* chose. so I am going to do the same and follow Alex's cues.

(btw I am an American living in the UK)


----------



## amelhu

When I first went back to work, someone asked me how I was enjoying motherhood and my dd. I began to gush and smile and say how wonderful it was, etc, etc.

Well, they said, "This is the best its ever going to get." My bubble of happiness was immediately burst.

But since then, I have learned that this person was incorrect because it has gotten even better from that point!


----------



## MorgansMom

My stepmother told me how to breastfeed: 10 min on one side and 10 min on the other in 2hour intervals and thats it. She said you have to train your baby... WTF! And my mother told me that I should be supplementing with formula because I needed rest too! UGH! I thought I should do whats best for the baby, not for me!


----------



## MorgansMom

OMG! Does she know that when it's harder for babies to wake up they are more prone to SIDS! OH that is so bad for that little one!


----------



## ~Robin

My all time favorite comment was:
Its digusting to nurse your baby at church...
I asked them where do you think now in days Mary would have nursed Jesus???


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lizzardbits* 
I got an "Oh, is _that_ what they tell you to do in America?"

"If only... No, some idiots in America will even tell you to wean at _4_ months, can you imagine??"


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MorgansMom* 
My stepmother told me how to breastfeed: 10 min on one side and 10 min on the other in 2hour intervals and thats it. She said you have to train your baby... WTF! And my mother told me that I should be supplementing with formula because I needed rest too! UGH! I thought I should do whats best for the baby, not for me!

Bed share! If it works for you it'll give you a ton more rest.


----------



## granola_mom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *matey* 
My sons middle name is Valentine. When my mother told my grandma that we were going to name our son Jack Valentine she became concerned saying "oh no, not for a boy..."
This grandma is my dad's mom.
My dad's name?
James Valentine.


----------



## CanidFL

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amelhu* 
When I first went back to work, someone asked me how I was enjoying motherhood and my dd. I began to gush and smile and say how wonderful it was, etc, etc.

Well, they said, "This is the best its ever going to get." My bubble of happiness was immediately burst.

But since then, I have learned that this person was incorrect because it has gotten even better from that point!

OMG that is horrible. That bursts my bubble lol. I know it's not true either though because every day I love my son even more and it just keeps getting better.

Quote:

If only... No, some idiots in America will even tell you to wean at 4 months, can you imagine??
or 5 days....My friend was at the doctor for an unrelated thing and was saying how her nipples are still sore (at 9 weeks) and he told her to wean because "only the first 5 days are important"


----------



## the_lissa

I believe they mean weaning as in introducing other foods and beverages.


----------



## MamaVolpe

Quote:


Originally Posted by *krankedyann* 
My favorite- whenever people accuse my husband and I of spoiling the baby, and we got that comment from just about everyone over 40 who knew us, his response was, "She isn't spoiled, she's well preserved." They almost always laughed.

I love that one, I am going to steal it. I love canning food, why wouldn't I love a well preserved baby


----------



## Jannah6

My oldest DS principals DD always has something dumb to say. Once when she saw me with one of my newborns, she said with a dumb look on her face "You must like pain, because you keep having babys". I responded all seriously, 'Yeah, I do like pain'. The look on her face was pure shock.

I just hate dumb coments







:.


----------



## Jannah6

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jannah5* 
My oldest DS principals DD always has something dumb to say. Once when she saw me with one of my newborns, she said with a dumb look on her face "You must like pain, because you keep having babys". I responded all seriously, 'Yeah, I do like pain'. The look on her face was pure shock.

I just hate dumb coments







:.

Oh, I forgot to mention that the principals DD is in her late 20's.


----------



## apurrfectplace

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MysticHealerMom* 
When I was pg at Thanksgiving, my uncle, who thinks he's the head of the family, came and sat down next to me. All showy and fatherly he leans over and says

"Ya know, parenting is hard work."

I just wanted him to go away. I leaned over and said

"Well... Duh."


That cracked me UP. Thanks for posting that good comeback!


----------



## llamalluv

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dov'sMom* 
And the average baby's head at birth is 36 CM or 14". So the math doesn't work.

Except, of course, that we stretch...

And not only does the vagina stretch, but also, the head compresses slightly:

Neat sketches: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fontanelle


----------



## FREEmom1120

Quote:


Originally Posted by *llamalluv* 
And not only does the vagina stretch, but also, the head compresses slightly:

not as well if the baby is posterior.







The nurse thought I'd be pushing for 10 minutes or so when she told me I was fully dilated because of how far down dd was. I pushed for 80 minutes. It wasn't bad though. When her head finally came out (face up) she just flew out...no extra push for the shoulders which was nice.

A friend and I were sharing birth stories b/c we had delivered 5 days apart and a lady listening said "wow I'm really glad I had a c-section."


----------



## MummaLitt

When DS was 4wks old, we went down to my MIL after taking my mom site-seeing. After such a full day, DS was very fussy and just wouldn't settle. MIL came up to check on us while I was BFing. I was in tears cause he was so upset and I just felt like I couldn't do anything. Her idea of a "re-assuring" comment was to ask if my milk was "good enough" for him, cause she had to stop breastfeeding cause her milk wasn't "good enough" for DH.

Along the same lines, DH's step-mom asked how long i was planning on breastfeeding. When I said I was hoping to go at least 6 months, but ideally as long as possible, she replied with "Why?" to which I tried to explain the benefits and she said "to each their own, i guess".


----------



## llamalluv

Quote:


Originally Posted by *FREEmom1120* 
not as well if the baby is posterior.







The nurse thought I'd be pushing for 10 minutes or so when she told me I was fully dilated because of how far down dd was. I pushed for 80 minutes. It wasn't bad though. When her head finally came out (face up) she just flew out...no extra push for the shoulders which was nice.

Ooh - my best friend had one face up like that! I guess that's what you would call a "bad baby"?









That's so sad that women think that major abdominal surgery is "easy". I had an acquaintance offer me her OBGYN's name - the one that she picked because he is "the BEST at surgery!" Um...no thank you.


----------



## samstress

i've had several people question the choices we've made. one person wanted to know why we don't give our dd juice, another why we decided on cloth diapers. most of the time it just seems like people are asking so they can justify what they did (which is usually different than what we've done). i think they assume we must judge them because they did it differently which couldn't be farther from the truth -- i don't pretend to know what works for other people. so, when comments are made, i usually just keep my mouth shut.

however, there is one friend who on at least two occasions has commented on something we do, by saying some other way is "better". when i hear that i just can't keep my mouth shut. each time i've said, "no, it's not _better_, it's better for _you_". as if the comment wasn't annoying enough, to make it worse this particular friend doesn't even have children.


----------



## FREEmom1120

This wasn't really re: parenting, but it just happened an hour ago.

I went to get my hair cut because it's falling out quite a bit (hooray for post baby craziness!)

Here is the convo...

Hair cutter: So did you have a boy or a girl
Me: A girl
Hair cutter: What did you name her
Me: Olive
Hair cutter: Oh she is going to hate you
Me: NO way!
Hair cutter: You think she'll like it
Me: Yes!
Hair cutter: I knew an old lady named Olive
Me: It was a popular name in the early 1900s
Hair cutter: Does your husband like it?
Me: He picked it!

long silence because she realizes she was so RUDE
Hair cutter: What's her middle name?
Me: Elizabeth
Hair cutter: Oh that's pretty

long silence again
Hair cutter: I think it's the anasthesia (epidurals) that make your hair fall out
Me: I didn't have one
silence

I was happy to end our conversation that way!


----------



## samstress

_long silence again
Hair cutter: I think it's the anasthesia (epidurals) that make your hair fall out
Me: I didn't have one
silence

I was happy to end our conversation that way!







[/QUOTE]_

that's great!


----------



## jessica_lizette

When we were at the grocery store last night, the seafood guy was asking us about the baby. He asked us about his age, weight, etc, and kept comparing him to his grandson, who is a couple months older but a little smaller than our beast of a boy. Then he asked the inevitable question:

"Well, does _HE_ sleep through the night yet?"
Me: Pretty much. He wakes up to nurse once or twice though.
Him: Well I won't even tell you about my grandson then, it will just piss you off.
Me: ...........
Him: 8 at night til 7 in the morning!
Me: He sleeps really great, and I don't mind nursing a couple of times. We don't really wake up anyways, and he just goes right back to sleep.
Him: Maybe you should try giving him formula.
Me: Why?
Him: (looking a little irritated by now) Well you guys are young and it's only your first...everything is just so wonderful to you.









I just walked away at that point.

My FIL also suggests formula and rice cereal (for a 2 1/2 month old!) at night so he will sleep "better." I would just be miserably engorged if we got any "better" than the five/six-hour stretch!


----------



## purplebluesky

A man in the grocery store a couple of days ago asked how old my son is - I told him six months then he said rather loudly "six months?? He should be a lot bigger than that! What are you feeding him? I'm gonna report you to the FBI. My kids were walking by that age!" Really? I walked off and he kept hollering.

Someone else told me that the soft spot is an indicator of how well fed the baby is...That if it is slightly indented it means the baby is hungry...


----------



## puddle

Quote:


Originally Posted by *FREEmom1120* 
Hair cutter: I think it's the anasthesia (epidurals) that make your hair fall out
Me: I didn't have one
silence

When I was in the hospital after giving birth, I would occasionally shake from what I later realized was total exhaustion. (It stopped as soon as we got home and I FINALLY got some sleep.) Whenever the nurses saw me shaking, they always commented that it was just from the epidural. They never knew what to say when I said I hadn't had one.


----------



## MommyofPunkiePie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *puddle* 
When I was in the hospital after giving birth, I would occasionally shake from what I later realized was total exhaustion. (It stopped as soon as we got home and I FINALLY got some sleep.) Whenever the nurses saw me shaking, they always commented that it was just from the epidural. They never knew what to say when I said I hadn't had one.









At least they gave you a reason (albeit an incorrect one)! I got the, "Hmmm, that never happens, you must be sick."









I had thought it was my blood sugar dropping (because that's what happens when my blood sugar drops), but was amazed at the fact that the glucose drip was in my arm the whole time....


----------



## minkajane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *purplebluesky* 
Someone else told me that the soft spot is an indicator of how well fed the baby is...That if it is slightly indented it means the baby is hungry...

This can kinda be true. A sunken soft spot is an indicator of dehydration.


----------



## Lady Lilya

There are many degrees of indented that are possible for the soft spot. Slightly indented seems pretty normal to me.

Rostik's was slightly indented unless he was screaming. Then it was level.


----------



## Jane

Adrenalin can cause shaking. A certain amount of adrenalin is normal, especially right after birth, but it sometimes shows up in transisition, too.


----------



## minkajane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Apricot* 
Adrenalin can cause shaking. A certain amount of adrenalin is normal, especially right after birth, but it sometimes shows up in transisition, too.

That explains why I got the shakes before my C-section. I wasn't in strong labor, I hadn't had any meds yet, and nothing had really happened. But I got the shakes really bad.


----------



## ramlita

Quote:


Originally Posted by *purplebluesky* 
A man in the grocery store a couple of days ago asked how old my son is - I told him six months then he said rather loudly "six months?? He should be a lot bigger than that! What are you feeding him? I'm gonna report you to the FBI. My kids were walking by that age!" Really? I walked off and he kept hollering.
















Sounds like a real hands-on, clued-in dad.


----------



## mishka77

My coworker keeps INSISTING that I have to start my 4 mo DD on solids soon or I'll miss the "window of opportunity" where she learns how to swallow! She is actually trying to convince me that if I don't start with the cereal soon, my baby will have problems swallowing. She actually speculated today on "how did the cavemen do this??" as she gave me a fistful of Gerber coupons.

I'm trying not to laugh at her, but this just seems absurd to me.


----------



## FREEmom1120

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mishka77* 
My coworker keeps INSISTING that I have to start my 4 mo DD on solids soon or I'll miss the "window of opportunity" where she learns how to swallow! She is actually trying to convince me that if I don't start with the cereal soon, my baby will have problems swallowing. She actually speculated today on "how did the cavemen do this??" as she gave me a fistful of Gerber coupons.

I'm trying not to laugh at her, but this just seems absurd to me.

How does she think your milk is getting into her? Babies swallow in the womb anyway. Oh boy.


----------



## KurumiSophia

From my husband's younger sister...

"You have to let the baby cry it out. She's already learned that crying gets her what she wants."

"You keep doing exactly what she wants, you'll have a kid like Lil M. who throws a tantrum if its not done his way"

"You have to keep control of your kids or they'll control you"

And other such wonderful things while I'm walking my LO to sleep on the phone w/her. Yeah...um...no. I love her to death but her parenting ideals and mine are wooooorlds apart. I've even landed firmly in the no spanking camp after watching her husband spank their 4 yr. old for not immediately hopping to when I asked the little guy to finish picking up and than later that evening for bringing his fists down in frustration on a footrest.

Not to mention I was listening to her tell the 4 yr old he had to go to bed hungry because he refused to eat spaghetti that was served for dinner and wanted PB&J for dinner (again).

I feel like such the odd person out w/my in-laws.

My MIL even chewed me out this morning because I refuse to put a coat on my DD in the car seat (safety reasons.) and will cover her in blankets instead. Ugh and she brought up the sock thing...again.

Oh my brain....


----------



## krankedyann

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KurumiSophia* 
My MIL even chewed me out this morning because I refuse to put a coat on my DD in the car seat (safety reasons.) and will cover her in blankets instead. Ugh and she brought up the sock thing...again.

I HATE the sock thing. Drives me nuts. My little girl could get a pair of socks off in two seconds flat. Even shoes didn't stop her.

I've never heard of coats being a problem in a car seat. Someone fill me in- we just moved to a colder climate.


----------



## minkajane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *krankedyann* 
I've never heard of coats being a problem in a car seat. Someone fill me in- we just moved to a colder climate.

Kids shouldn't wear coats (especially the puffy kind) in car seats because if there was a wreck, the coat would compress and the kid would move forward and it could cause more injury.

I see so many babies in stores sitting in baby buckets wearing big puffy coats, with the chest buckle down at the bottom and the straps falling off their shoulders. It makes me want to SCREAM. They might as well not even use a carseat if they're not going to follow the most basic precautions!


----------



## llamalluv

Quote:


Originally Posted by *FREEmom1120* 
How does she think your milk is getting into her? Babies swallow in the womb anyway. Oh boy.

Osmosis! Everyone knows that!







:


----------



## samstress

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
Kids shouldn't wear coats (especially the puffy kind) in car seats because if there was a wreck, the coat would compress and the kid would move forward and it could cause more injury.

I see so many babies in stores sitting in baby buckets wearing big puffy coats, with the chest buckle down at the bottom and the straps falling off their shoulders. It makes me want to SCREAM. They might as well not even use a carseat if they're not going to follow the most basic precautions!

same goes for mom. we shouldn't be wearing big puffy coats in the car either (or bulky sweaters for that matter).


----------



## cinnamonamon

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
Kids shouldn't wear coats (especially the puffy kind) in car seats because if there was a wreck, the coat would compress and the kid would move forward and it could cause more injury.

I see so many babies in stores sitting in baby buckets wearing big puffy coats, with the chest buckle down at the bottom and the straps falling off their shoulders. It makes me want to SCREAM. They might as well not even use a carseat if they're not going to follow the most basic precautions!

Thank you. I wonder sometimes if anyone knows this! I get the weirdest looks from people sometimes because my boys generally wear hooded zip-up sweatshirts (with hats, mittens & scarves when appropriate) when we're going to just drive somewhere. I figure the walk to & from the vehicle is quick & it's more comfortable than waiting til we get to the truck, then taking off the poofy coats and letting the cold air rip at them until everyone is buckled in & doors are shut.


----------



## Jannah6

When I was pregnant w/my first DS my XMIL's DF said that I should put on some slippers because the baby might catch a cold







. I was dumbfounded when XMIL relayed the message, but even more stupified when my educated XMIL believed it.


----------



## delfin

for fussy babies who have a favourite boob and they are hard to latch in the not so favourite:
"put some sugar in your nipple so he will like the sweetness and take the breast"


----------



## Arwyn

Quote:


Originally Posted by *delfin* 
for fussy babies who have a favourite boob and they are hard to latch in the not so favourite:
"put some sugar in your nipple so he will like the sweetness and take the breast"

Ah, someone who's never tasted real milk!


----------



## FraggleLover

Hey all








No babies yet but I'm trying to learn all I can about pregnancy/childbirth/childraising.
One of the older (70's) health guide I have recommends that the baby be introduced to juice on a spoon at a few weeks in preparation for the following in small amounts, non-wheat cereal at 4 weeks, thereafter individual vegetables, fruit at 3 months and MEAT







at 4 to 5 months.

I think I need a different book


----------



## ramlita




----------



## Bkwyrm

My MIL seems to think that I am somehow simultaneously starving my daughter, and overfeeding her.
MIL: So you're still breastfeeding?
(Fish is 10 months old)
Me: Yep. She's just not that into solid food.
MIL: If she doesn't eat, she won't grow! Are you sure you're offering her enough food? She has to eat!
Me: Well, she's 22 pounds at 10 months and hitting all her milestones right on time, we're not worried and neither is the doctor.
MIL: Maybe you're overfeeding her. Should she be so heavy?


----------



## Ellen Griswold

I had to join MDC just because of this thread!
My stupid/annoying comment came from a good friend (no kids) that I don't see very often. I just had an emergency appendectomy while 14 weeks pregnant with dd. We were fine, but had strict orders from the doctor to take it pretty easy. She was in from out of town and was nice enough to come over to keep me and ds (3 yo) company. After visiting for a long time while I just sat on the sofa and ds watched TV (way more than usual), she said "So is this all you do all day?" Um, yeah. All I need was my box of bon-bons and you have a real typical day for a SAHM. In her defense, I think she was trying to decide whether or not she was ready to get pregnant. But her comment made me feel like the laziest mom in the world.








:


----------



## St. Margaret

Quote:


Originally Posted by *FREEmom1120* 

long silence again
Hair cutter: I think it's the anasthesia (epidurals) that make your hair fall out
Me: I didn't have one
silence

I was happy to end our conversation that way!









What is WITH hair stylists??? My first hair cut postpartum (with my mom walking my beautiful baby around right outside), my stylist was shocked I did it naturally and went on about how "hardcore" I was... not that she's had kids or anything! Why not listen to me, and others, who tell you that it doesn't have to be a painful scary thing, instead of just listening to those who say it is? And the stylist at the next chair had some stupid advice I can't remember... oh yes, she was saying we were going to start solids very soon... DD was like 4mo. She kept insisting it would help her sleep better. yeah-huh. the best part? I was in an all-NATURAL salon. I used to work in an other in college and everyone who worked there was very crunchy... guess it's not a requirement for the brand, tho!


----------



## krankedyann

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ellen Griswold* 
I had to join MDC just because of this thread!
My stupid/annoying comment came from a good friend (no kids) that I don't see very often. I just had an emergency appendectomy while 14 weeks pregnant with dd. We were fine, but had strict orders from the doctor to take it pretty easy. She was in from out of town and was nice enough to come over to keep me and ds (3 yo) company. After visiting for a long time while I just sat on the sofa and ds watched TV (way more than usual), she said "So is this all you do all day?" Um, yeah. All I need was my box of bon-bons and you have a real typical day for a SAHM. In her defense, I think she was trying to decide whether or not she was ready to get pregnant. But her comment made me feel like the laziest mom in the world.



Ugh!!!

I got the same comments and worse when laying on a mattress on my living room floor for a year, trying not to die while so incredibly sick from celiac disease. People would come over, see how bad off I was, trying to take care of a 1 and 3 year old by myself while my husband was working out of town, and then not lift one finger to help and blame me for the house being messy.


----------



## Ellen Griswold

Oh yeah, I also think that it depends on the amount of time that you hear the advice. EVERY time I talk to my FIL, he reminds me to keep my ds's legos away from my dd - 9 mo. Okay, tell me once or twice, but he acts like I'm going to sit her down on the floor with a big pile of them and have lunch!








:


----------



## Lizzardbits

nak.

today the same health visitor that i wrote about in post number 4909 asked if i was still breastfeeding on demand, to which i happily reply that i am exclusively breastfeeding (on demand, of course). she then asked if i was giving him cooled boiled water yet. I shook my head and said no, and that he has never had a bottle. she looked at me in a quite perplexed way and said that i said that in a bad way. I said that breastfed babies don't need any water. "Well what do you do when he gets thirsty?" (shock on my face from getting a question like that from a health visitor, but shook it off) *I* had to give her a quick lesson about foremilk and hindmilk and that even in hot weather breastfed babies don't need water. I basically got the feeling from her that she had just learned something new.

-then-

later in the visit she asked if we were getting out ok. yup! Alex just loves being in the wrap--cue lesson #2 on wraps and babywearing. she was interested, but then went on to try to encourage us to get Alex used to being in a pushchair/stroller. my sharp husband told her that we are more than happy to carry Alex and that we'd "think" about a pushchair when he can hold his head up properly 100% of the time. (sha right! and monkeys might fly out of my bu++, we are probably going to craigslist the pram/pushchair.)

-finally-

she conversationally asked what i did back in the states before i moved to england, and i told her that i had finished up my 3rd year at a university and that i only have a few semesters before i have my degree so i can be a high school biology teacher. (at this point both hubby and i caught that she mentally shifted gears and her attitude towards us) She said that she thought that i might have some education. (cuz we all knowz dat iffin we'z poor, or we'z livin in da guvrnment houzin, we'z unedumicated and stooopid)

all this from a health visitor who can't spell breastfeeding correctly-- "brestfeeding"--because, eh, who needs an "a" anyway.

Sad part is that she is out there "helping" families who truely rely in her for information.


----------



## Lady Lilya

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cinnamonamon* 
Thank you. I wonder sometimes if anyone knows this! I get the weirdest looks from people sometimes because my boys generally wear hooded zip-up sweatshirts (with hats, mittens & scarves when appropriate) when we're going to just drive somewhere. I figure the walk to & from the vehicle is quick & it's more comfortable than waiting til we get to the truck, then taking off the poofy coats and letting the cold air rip at them until everyone is buckled in & doors are shut.

I strap him in wearing his indoor clothes, and then tuck blankets around him. As the car warms up, I can easily remove him. If we are going straight from the car to an indoor destination, I put the blankets back on. If we will take him outside to play, I bring his snowsuit along in a bag.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jessica_lizette* 
Him: Maybe you should try giving him formula.
Me: Why?
Him: (looking a little irritated by now) Well you guys are young and it's only your first...everything is just so wonderful to you.









Everything being wonderful is a reason to try to get *less* time with your baby by trying to force him to sleep more??







indeed.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *purplebluesky* 
A man in the grocery store a couple of days ago asked how old my son is - I told him six months then he said rather loudly "six months?? He should be a lot bigger than that! What are you feeding him? I'm gonna report you to the FBI. My kids were walking by that age!" Really? I walked off and he kept hollering.

Someone else told me that the soft spot is an indicator of how well fed the baby is...That if it is slightly indented it means the baby is hungry...

The mental health department in your area must have to pull triple shifts.


----------



## KC in KS

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cinnamonamon* 
Thank you. I wonder sometimes if anyone knows this! I get the weirdest looks from people sometimes because my boys generally wear hooded zip-up sweatshirts (with hats, mittens & scarves when appropriate) when we're going to just drive somewhere. I figure the walk to & from the vehicle is quick & it's more comfortable than waiting til we get to the truck, then taking off the poofy coats and letting the cold air rip at them until everyone is buckled in & doors are shut.

I though *I* was the only one who knew this!









I don't normally pay much attention to the looks I get when out-n-about with the kids, but I must admit the other day I did feel a tad self-conscious. It was in the 30s, I think, and DS (18 months) was in short sleeves, coat-less because the car was warm, and barefoot because he'd stripped off his shoes & socks on the way!







I'm really surprised I didn't get a Helpful Grandma comment for that one.


----------



## Kateana

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane* 
Kids shouldn't wear coats (especially the puffy kind) in car seats because if there was a wreck, the coat would compress and the kid would move forward and it could cause more injury.

I see so many babies in stores sitting in baby buckets wearing big puffy coats, with the chest buckle down at the bottom and the straps falling off their shoulders. It makes me want to SCREAM. They might as well not even use a carseat if they're not going to follow the most basic precautions!

I had no idea! I'm glad this came up... I guess from now on DD (2.5yo) will be wearing non-puffy sweaters and layers instead. Where do you actually find this info? I just had NO idea... and I want to know more.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kateana* 
I had no idea! I'm glad this came up... I guess from now on DD (2.5yo) will be wearing non-puffy sweaters and layers instead. Where do you actually find this info? I just had NO idea... and I want to know more.









The "family safety" forum here at MDC (tucked away in the top of the parenting forums) has excellent links. Another big one that many people don't know is to leave LOs rear-facing as long as possible.


----------



## samstress

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kateana* 
I had no idea! I'm glad this came up... I guess from now on DD (2.5yo) will be wearing non-puffy sweaters and layers instead. Where do you actually find this info? I just had NO idea... and I want to know more.









i was told by a CHP officer when i went to the station to have the car seat installation checked. it was really helpful. he said about 90% of all car seats are installed and/or used improperly. i highly recommend it.


----------



## LaurenB

We were also told this when we got our car seat installation checked. But it still makes me feel weird when people look at me crooked. I guess I'm too new at this to be used to it.


----------



## Kateana

thanks for the info! DD just started hating to wear her coat anyway... she'll be thrilled.


----------



## cdmommie

A "friend" (not so much) told me she was going to let her mother take care of her baby overnight alot when he was born. Knowing full well that her parents were drug users, my husband said " aren't you worried about the smoke?" She answered, " oh, pot smoke doesn't hurt babies, only cigarette smoke does"


----------



## cinnamonamon

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LaurenB* 
We were also told this when we got our car seat installation checked. But it still makes me feel weird when people look at me crooked. I guess I'm too new at this to be used to it.

I used to talk to my baby about why I did "weird" things when I thought people were looking at me funny. I.e., "lets keep you nice & warm w/ this blankie, sweetie, then we'll pop you in your car seat put the blanket on top -- we don't want your straps to be too loose with your big playing outside coat, do we?"

I swear I didn't use the annoying high-pitched baby voice, though.







And now that I have 3 kids, I could pretty much care less what people think.


----------



## Maggirayne

Okay, I'll fess up, I said a dumb one before I had DD. After watching my nephew throw a fit and refuse to sleep w/my ILs I thought it would make sense to let DD start early sleeping with them occasionally when we visited(in a cradle in their room). I didn't realize how attached _I'd_ be! I thought I'd pump and send a bottle with her(we're in the same house). It hasn't happened yet! And I'm pretty much decided I'm not leaving her with anyone until she can talk.


----------



## Shenjall

I have a dumb one that was told to me and I stupidly passed it on.......

I was told that its okay to let babies eat cheerios b/c if it gets stuck in their throat, its okay, b/c theres a hole in it so they could still breathe. I didnt realize how stupid it actually was until sitting around with my ex-bil and his boyfriend while feeding my ds them. Ex-bil went on to explain this theory to him and boyfriend laughed out loud, "you really believe that?! who the hell told you that peice of crap?!" Exbil points to me.







Good times man, good times.


----------



## isign

We do things, normal to us, very different from the 'norm' here.

We co-sleep somewhat - DS has moved to his cradle next to us more because DH is worried about him being squished. I've been told that we're spoiling him, and it's unhealthy, and we'll never have a sex life.

I BF, of course







, and the comments I get are amazing. DS is 6months, and a lady at church couldn't believe that I still had milk. I didn't know what to say. MIL told me at 2 months that she's seen a lot of patients (works for a psychiatrist) with separation issues.

The newest 'issue' with my co-workers is that I skipped cereal. I started DS last week on sweet potatoes, that I made. I am "hurting my son because veggies are the worst thing to start him in." She went on to say that it's extremely hard to digest them, and he'll have major problems. Cereal has so many vitamins and is so healthy for them. I should do some more 'research' on the internet before I make that decision. She also told me that delaying solids to 6m was bad and just because my Dr says it's ok doesn't mean I should trust her.


----------



## Ellen Griswold

A friend of mine had her ds 8 months before I had mine. While she would change his diaper, he would frequently grab his penis. Not a big deal, right? My friend hated that he did this and would smack his hands away and say "It'll grow on it's own!"







Way to promote a positive body image. This was the same girl that was going to watch my ds when I went back to work. Funny how I ended up being a SAHM.


----------



## angrypixiemama

DH just got off the phone with one of his sisters. The two sisters live together and are in their 30s. Neither have children. She was asking him if I still do "that nursing thing" and if our daughter "has managed to sleep in her crib yet". Nice. It is annoying to get parenting advice from people who parent differently than you. It is SUPER annoying to get parenting advice and criticism from people who have never parented.







:


----------



## threadbey

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kateana* 
I had no idea! I'm glad this came up... I guess from now on DD (2.5yo) will be wearing non-puffy sweaters and layers instead. Where do you actually find this info? I just had NO idea... and I want to know more.









the instructions that came with my carseat actually mentioned the puffy jacket problem. they also made a big deal out of aligning the chest buckle with the lo's armpits, which is much higher that most people put it (higher than i would have without the instructions).

i get given a hard time about reading instruction manuals, but you never know what you might find in there.


----------



## lmk1

My Mom keeps telling me that I should do what she was told by her Dr's when I was a baby. For example, if the baby doesn't poop at least once a day, then he should have an enema, or his tummy would hurt! When I was pregnant, she kept telling me to get my nipples ready for bf by rubbing them with a towel...I didn't find any research confirming that actually helped, so I didn't do that. She also told me to hand express after every time ds fed in the hospital...I would just put him on the boob whenever he showed signs of hunger...and she was convinced that I wouldn't have milk. The day after he was born, he was sleepy (like what baby isn't???) and I was having a hard time getting him awake to feed. She told me to express a little and put it on his lips to get him interested. Well, I didn't know how to do it, and I wasn't getting anything out...so she said, oh you see you didn't do what I told you to, and now you're dry, and you'll have to feed him formula! I ended up actually having a major oversupply issue, and when I told her that she was obviously wrong to tell me all those things, since I ended up having a lot of milk, she said that she never did them either! WTH???
Then all those well meaning people telling me how hard bf is, and how I'm such a trooper for doing it...Or the person who asked me how I kept from rolling over on my baby (we co-sleep) at night...I said the same way I keep from falling out of bed.
My IL's are very cool, so I was surprised when my SIL suggested I give my 4mo EBF baby a pickle for teething. She said to wash it off, but there's loads of vinegar, spices, and god knows what else in there...


----------



## CanidFL

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lmk1* 
My IL's are very cool, so I was surprised when my SIL suggested I give my 4mo EBF baby a pickle for teething. She said to wash it off, but there's loads of vinegar, spices, and god knows what else in there...

My son chews on pickles







: I didn't let him teeth on it till 5.5 months though. I didn't see anything wrong with it. The vinegar is bad for babies?


----------



## shoejunkie

rotfl


----------



## lmk1

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CanidFL* 
My son chews on pickles







: I didn't let him teeth on it till 5.5 months though. I didn't see anything wrong with it. The vinegar is bad for babies?

Since when you introduce a baby to solids, you're supposed to start with one food at a time, I just don't think introducing them to spices, salt, sugar, and vinegar (which is quite acidic) can be good for their tummies. If they're already having other foods, it may not be that big of a deal. Still, that much salt can't be good for an infant.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *isign* 
She also told me that delaying solids to 6m was bad and just because my Dr says it's ok doesn't mean I should trust her.









Anyone who thinks that starting solids at 6m is delaying solids isn't worth the breath it takes to tell them they're wrong.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ellen Griswold* 
A friend of mine had her ds 8 months before I had mine. While she would change his diaper, he would frequently grab his penis. Not a big deal, right? My friend hated that he did this and would smack his hands away and say "It'll grow on it's own!"







Way to promote a positive body image. This was the same girl that was going to watch my ds when I went back to work. Funny how I ended up being a SAHM.

Nice of her to have a baby first so you could check out how she is with kids.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lmk1* 
When I was pregnant, she kept telling me to get my nipples ready for bf by rubbing them with a towel

That is crazy. Pregnancy produces hormones that make nipples more tender. If nipples kept feeling like they do during pregnancy only masochists would breastfeed.







babies don't drink milk by lapping at nipples like a hamster with a water bottle. And even if they did it's not like they've got kitten tongues.


----------



## nhklh

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
babies don't drink milk by lapping at nipples like a hamster with a water bottle

OMG that is the funniest description I have read in a long time!


----------



## Ellen Griswold

I frequently dream that I'm nursing kittens, so what does this say about me?


----------



## Kateana

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ellen Griswold* 
I frequently dream that I'm nursing kittens, so what does this say about me?









That there's a baby in your life (or will be, or you want one)... according to the "Dream Doctor" anyway!







From the site: "Cats hold a particularly strong association to babies in women's dreams. Women often dream of "birthing" cats!"

I know you weren't looking for that kind of response, if any, but I thought you might find it interesting.


----------



## Shenjall

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lmk1* 
......
My IL's are very cool, so I was surprised when my SIL suggested I give my 4mo EBF baby a pickle for teething. She said to wash it off, but there's loads of vinegar, spices, and god knows what else in there...


Omg! I was told the same thing! A frozen pickle for my 5mth old. Yup. The funny thing is the way it was told to me at my older sis' baby shower. It was one of her friends who had a 4yr old. I was there with my baby. She comes over, sits down, and gives me all of this advice, including the pickle one. when I said, I appreciate the help but no thanks, she huffed off and I overheard her talking to someone about how "stupid" I was being and how I "needed" to learn from her experience. I laughed pretty hard when the person explained, "you do know, that the baby is her 6th, right?".
Burn!!!! LOL


----------



## tankgirl73

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lmk1* 
Since when you introduce a baby to solids, you're supposed to start with one food at a time, I just don't think introducing them to spices, salt, sugar, and vinegar (which is quite acidic) can be good for their tummies. If they're already having other foods, it may not be that big of a deal. Still, that much salt can't be good for an infant.

The reason for the "one food at a time" thing isn't about whether or not it's good for their tummies, though. It's only to make things easier for YOU if they have an allergic reaction to something, to identify what thing it was. There are actually lots of moms (especially if you're BLW) who don't worry about "one food at a time" if they don't have allergy worries. (You can always do an elimination diet if there is a reaction). It can be pretty boring for baby otherwise!









That being said, you have a point about the salt. I don't think the vinegar or spices are a problem at all... but the salt, MIGHT be. I'm not sure if sucking on one pickle would be enough salt to be a problem or not, but if there IS anything wrong with pickles, it would have to be the salt.


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ellen Griswold* 
I frequently dream that I'm nursing kittens, so what does this say about me?









That you *should* do the towel-nipple trick?? (yeowch I hurt just typing that)


----------



## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kateana* 
That there's a baby in your life (or will be, or you want one)... according to the "Dream Doctor" anyway!







From the site: "Cats hold a particularly strong association to babies in women's dreams. Women often dream of "birthing" cats!"










Yet more proof we're supposed to give birth like cats.


----------



## minkajane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 








Yet more proof we're supposed to give birth like cats.

Exactly! Alone, in a dark, secluded place, undisturbed.


----------



## matey

I am sad to have to add another...

DS is a bit of a fussy baby, I know it, no secret. While at my in-laws this weekend he was being a little fussy at diiner, and MIL sighed and said "I wish breast fed babies could be happy babies" and SIL said "Yeah, breast fed babies are always grumpier."

Idiots.


----------



## didkisa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *matey* 
I am sad to have to add another...

DS is a bit of a fussy baby, I know it, no secret. While at my in-laws this weekend he was being a little fussy at diiner, and MIL sighed and said "I wish breast fed babies could be happy babies" and SIL said "Yeah, breast fed babies are always grumpier."

Idiots.


----------



## threadbey

Quote:


Originally Posted by *matey* 
I am sad to have to add another...

DS is a bit of a fussy baby, I know it, no secret. While at my in-laws this weekend he was being a little fussy at diiner, and MIL sighed and said "I wish breast fed babies could be happy babies" and SIL said "Yeah, breast fed babies are always grumpier."

Idiots.









how horrible! ds is breast fed and everyone always says he's the happiest baby they've ever seen. i wonder if some of them are assuming he must be a formula baby???? i'm so sorry your in-laws are so unsupportive.


----------



## Mommy2Austin

Love this thread...finally have something to contribute!

Now here I thought I'd been pretty lucky with people minding their own business. Haha in the last 48 hours I've gotten more unsolicited cockamamy advice than I could ever have dreamed would come from one person (my mother.)

1) DS got thrush because I don't give him water to rinse his mouth after he eats...(has nothing to do with the antibiotics I had during labor and nothing to do with her having thrush(she's going through chemo) and kissing all over my LO's face and lips)

2) I mentioned that DS has a nursing marathon every night from 9 to 12 and that there doesn't seem to be a lot of milk in my breast when he does. She told me not to feed him as often and then there will be milk when 9 rolls around and he'll just eat shortly and sleep.

3)Space the feedings out (to get my milk at 9







) and just let him cry for 10 to 15 minutes when he's hungry because it's good for their lung development....

This all coming from the woman that never breastfed any of us...more later


----------



## ~Boudicca~

Before I had DD1 I got "advice" from my childless friends about all the "bad" things regarding breastfeeding. Why on earth they had to give their 2 cents about something they know nothing about is beyond me.


----------



## shutterbug711

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mommy2Austin* 
1) DS got thrush because I don't give him water to rinse his mouth after he eats...

My grandmother-in-law said she used to rub a boric-acid soaked wash rag in her babies' mouths after feedings.
I was also chastised for not starting cereal at 3 weeks old...and still not making cereal a routine in his 6th month.


----------



## sothisislove

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shenjall* 
Omg! I was told the same thing! A frozen pickle for my 5mth old. Yup. The funny thing is the way it was told to me at my older sis' baby shower. It was one of her friends who had a 4yr old. I was there with my baby. She comes over, sits down, and gives me all of this advice, including the pickle one. when I said, I appreciate the help but no thanks, she huffed off and I overheard her talking to someone about how "stupid" I was being and how I "needed" to learn from her experience. I laughed pretty hard when the person explained, "you do know, that the baby is her 6th, right?".
Burn!!!! LOL

I was told to give ds a frozen carrot when teething. He didn't like it!


----------



## Arwyn

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mommy2Austin* 
2) I mentioned that DS has a nursing marathon every night from 9 to 12 and that there doesn't seem to be a lot of milk in my breast when he does. She told me not to feed him as often and then there will be milk when 9 rolls around and he'll just eat shortly and sleep.

That's some pretty whacked advice, but I will say I "save" a breast for the going-to-sleep nursing session, and it does seem to help him fall asleep that much quicker and happier. But we do block feeding already, so it's no big deal to "save" one, and he gets to nurse as much as he likes off the other breast in the hours before bed.


----------



## Lady Lilya

I try to nurse only one side per feeding. That way the other side is fuller at the start of the next feeding. He doesn't like to wait for the letdown, but starting with a fuller breast means he is getting a flow he likes better while he waits for the BIG flow. But if he starts going on and off the breast at the end of a feeding, I will offer him the second one. Sometimes he wants more but doesn't want to suck as hard as an empty breast requires.


----------



## basilisa76

My mother said that when my daughter was 2 days old she was crying because I didn't give her enough milk. MEN!! SHE WAS CRYING BECAUSE SHE WAS A NEWBORN SCARED TO DEATH! Anyways, she was not very supportive of my exclusive breastfeeding.... My daughter LOVED IT! She nursed every hour for a year!

Gigi


----------



## mntnmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *matey* 
I am sad to have to add another...

DS is a bit of a fussy baby, I know it, no secret. While at my in-laws this weekend he was being a little fussy at diiner, and MIL sighed and said "I wish breast fed babies could be happy babies" and SIL said "Yeah, breast fed babies are always grumpier."

Idiots.

I just got told that I have the happiest baby and "it must be because he's still breast-feeding"
So your inlaws are clueless. It has nothing to do with breastfeeding.


----------



## acp

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kateana* 
That there's a baby in your life (or will be, or you want one)... according to the "Dream Doctor" anyway!







From the site: "Cats hold a particularly strong association to babies in women's dreams. Women often dream of "birthing" cats!"

This is too funny. I vividly remember having a dream when I was 15 or 16 that I was pregnant with a cat, and I didn't know how to explain it to everyone (in my dream), especially since I knew I hadn't done anything to get pregnant. Or the fact that it was a cat.








I always thought it was one of the weirdest dreams ever, but now I find I wasn't that strange after all!


----------



## amberskyfire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *acp* 
This is too funny. I vividly remember having a dream when I was 15 or 16 that I was pregnant with a cat, and I didn't know how to explain it to everyone (in my dream), especially since I knew I hadn't done anything to get pregnant. Or the fact that it was a cat.








I always thought it was one of the weirdest dreams ever, but now I find I wasn't that strange after all!

Yep! I've had MANY MANY kitty birthing dreams over the years. I always thought I was crazy 'til I read this thread


----------



## katiedidbug

Quote:


Originally Posted by *matey* 
I am sad to have to add another...

DS is a bit of a fussy baby, I know it, no secret. While at my in-laws this weekend he was being a little fussy at diiner, and MIL sighed and said "I wish breast fed babies could be happy babies" and SIL said "Yeah, breast fed babies are always grumpier."

Idiots.

IDIOTS!!!


----------



## Demeter_shima

So at lunch one day visiting my husband at his office, one of his co-workers made the suggestion of adding some formula to breastmilk in a bottle for night times to help them sleep, since it will fill him up more.
I didn't say anything, because he was a very nice guy and it's my husbands place of business, but later I told my husband how that was like saying
"That healthy diet of yours doesn't fill you up enough because there isn't enough starch and carbs to make you sleepy, so you should suppliment with McDonalds so you get that stuffed feeling".
Great idea...not!


----------



## 1972momma

My mother actually said to me that some crying is "good for the baby's lungs." So stupid. I was so dumbfounded I had no comeback whatsoever.


----------



## starsrmndmeofyou

my favorite thing that was to me when i was pregnant with DD - i was in line at a store- and a random lady came up and asked me how my cervix was doing- and i looked at her dumbfounded and said- mines fine. how is yours? i think it kind of shocked her!


----------



## didkisa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *starsrmndmeofyou* 
my favorite thing that was to me when i was pregnant with DD - i was in line at a store- and a random lady came up and asked me how my cervix was doing- and i looked at her dumbfounded and said- mines fine. how is yours? i think it kind of shocked her!


----------



## HappyFox05

Quote:


Originally Posted by *starsrmndmeofyou* 
my favorite thing that was to me when i was pregnant with DD - i was in line at a store- and a random lady came up and asked me how my cervix was doing- and i looked at her dumbfounded and said- mines fine. how is yours? i think it kind of shocked her!


----------



## Lily Eve

Quote:


Originally Posted by *1972momma* 
My mother actually said to me that some crying is "good for the baby's lungs." So stupid. I was so dumbfounded I had no comeback whatsoever.

A good reply for this oldie is, "You mean like bleeding is good for the veins?"


----------



## jacquelinej11

I had an elderly lady try and tell me that I "absolutely, it's a must, to get him used to the bottle."

Me: "Well I'm bf and that's what's best for him."

Her: "No. It's not."

Awkward silence.

Her: "No, really though, like if you have to go to a wedding you're not going to be able to cause if he needs to eat. I had a friend once that went to a wedding and had her sister watch her baby but her baby wouldn't take the bottle so she had to leave the wedding to feed her baby. Such an inconvience, don't you think?"

I just turned around and silent screamed (I was already having a bad day haha)

Yes, it's such an inconvience to feed my baby


----------



## jacquelinej11

Oh! I just remembered a more recent one that happened a couple days ago:

We're in Hawaii on vacation and we were at the beach and DS was hungry, so naturally I popped out his tap and started feeding him.

I didn't make a huge scene of it. I didn't announce to everyone, "HELLO EVERYONE I'M ABOUT TO PULL OUT MY BOOB SO MY SON CAN HAVE HIS MEAL!!!" In fact, no one noticed, and the locals we were hanging out with continued their conversation with me like nothing happened.

Well, my mom walked up and flipped out, grabbed a blanket and covered me up... I pulled the blanket off - granted we were in the shade but it's in the high 70s low 80s out there and I don't need DS suffocating on me. Pulling off the blanket was apparently the wrong thing to do cause she said, "Modesty, Jacqueline!"

My sister gave her a dirty look and said, "Marshall's gonna get really hot."

Me, "There are more naked women out here than me right now..."

Mom, "But you need to keep you're modesty!"

Sister (looking at me but loud enough for mom to hear), "I don't get it... You're feeding your baby..."

Mom, "It's the principal of things. Boys are going to check her out."

Sister, "Her jugs are huge already - they'd be looking anyway. I don't think her bf is going to turn them on."

Me, "Hey you never know







"


----------



## sunnymw

LOL... way to go sis!!


----------



## hollyvangogh

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AppleCrisp* 
I could go on and on....she recently called out of the blue to tell DH that she "knows now why he doesn't like vegetables" - she thinks he's a "super-taster" due to "too many papillae on his taste buds." Could our son be a super taster too?! Dear Lord, no!! Not a super taster!

There actually is such a thing as super tasters. I'm one. We can taste certain things other's can't (and it's nasty bitter).


----------



## Kateana

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hollyvangogh* 
There actually is such a thing as super tasters. I'm one. We can taste certain things other's can't (and it's nasty bitter).

I thought "They Might Be Giants" made that one up!


----------



## jessica_lizette

Quote:


Originally Posted by *shutterbug711* 
My grandmother-in-law said she used to rub a boric-acid soaked wash rag in her babies' mouths after feedings.

.........OMG!


----------



## jo15

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kateana* 
I thought "They Might Be Giants" made that one up!









Yeah, me and my husband had an argument about this. I said that They Might Be Giants almost never writes about things that are not true, so there must actually be super tasters. My silly husband said absolutely not and I'm crazy. Ha ha, he's wrong.


----------



## mum4boys

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hollyvangogh* 
There actually is such a thing as super tasters. I'm one. We can taste certain things other's can't (and it's nasty bitter).


My 8 year old we are pretty sure has supertasters. He is so picky and he can detect minute changes in food that no one else notices.


----------



## didkisa

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jo15* 
Yeah, me and my husband had an argument about this. I said that They Might Be Giants almost never writes about things that are not true, so there must actually be super tasters. My silly husband said absolutely not and I'm crazy. Ha ha, he's wrong.

Yup, we exist! I'm a super taster, too.







And when pregnant I was a super-duper taster!


----------



## LalaithYamainu

Also a super-taster!

My dad and brothers are as well - drives my mother crazy!


----------



## Lady Lilya

I never heard of that before! I can tell the difference between different waters -- even tea made with different waters! But I'm not a picky eater.


----------



## jessica_lizette

My mom told me we should give DS some of her Oreo McFlurry last night! (He just turned 3 months a couple days ago)

I had to tell her several times absolutely not while she kept insisting that he would like it and it would be fine. Then whispered to the baby "that's okay, gramma will give you treats when momma's not around."

She thinks he's going to be alone with her after that?!


----------



## Mommy2Austin

My mother is still trying to convince me that giving my 4 week old water is good for him


----------



## ramlita

Heck, _doctors_ will still tell you to give newbies water.









Information seems to travel so slowly through medicine.


----------



## tankgirl73

Can we have a new thread for a super-taster support forum??







: I'm another one here, and I think my DH is a non-taster (the opposite) -- he can eat moldy things and not even notice. Bleah...uke


----------



## LiLStar

same here, tankgirl. I don't trust dh's judgement about food. Like that time he said the milk was "fine" *shudder* or when the hot chocolate was "cold".. my tongue hurt for a week!


----------



## jacquelinej11

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jessica_lizette* 
My mom told me we should give DS some of her Oreo McFlurry last night! (He just turned 3 months a couple days ago)

I had to tell her several times absolutely not while she kept insisting that he would like it and it would be fine. Then whispered to the baby "that's okay, gramma will give you treats when momma's not around."

She thinks he's going to be alone with her after that?!

NO WAY! MY MOTHER DID THE EXACT SAME THING WITH PINEAPPLES!!! And DS is going to be 3 months in 4 days.


----------



## Mommy2Austin

I think I hate the line "Our parents/we did *such and such* when we/you were a kid and we/you turned out fine!"

Yes and all of my gastrointestinal problems couldn't possibly be due to having rice cereal at 2 days old...

Oh and as a baby, my mom informs me all the time that I used to scream in my crib at night to *make* myself throw up so they'd have to come clean me up. Yes mom, I was manipulating you to get my little way. Couldn't possibly be that my stomach was so screwed up from the crap you gave me that I was actually feeling sick...


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## sunnymw

I hate the "you turned out fine" line... because just "fine" isn't good enough for me. But I don't have the you-know-whats to say that







And most of the time, the kids are so far from fine it's crazy.

The one I will use when I hear "My dad/mom did so-and-so to me and I turned out fine" (versus "I did so-and-so to my kids", which will put them on the defense) is to say "Did you turn out better BECAUSE of that, or in SPITE of that?" Usually it's _not_ the _because_. When they say in spite of, I usually point out that "While I agree that the experience made you a better parent because you know what NOT to do, I personally am striving to give my kids a childhood that they don't need to recover from."

Anyway... the doozy I heard the other day was that "I had to have a c-section at 37 weeks because the doctor said that with me being white and a first time mom, I'd probably not go past 38 weeks anyway..." Yeah... uh huh... couldn't you just have GOOGLED that misinformation? And maybe your baby WOULDN'T have been in the NICU for 3 weeks?


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## sapphire_chan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sunnymw* 
"I *had* to have a c-section at 37 weeks because the doctor said that with me being white and a first time mom, I'd probably not go past 38 weeks anyway..."

The part that scares me the most about this one is the word I bolded. Because even if someone believed the lie, why on earth would that be a reason for a c-section at 37 weeks?


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## sunnymw

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
The part that scares me the most about this one is the word I bolded. Because even if someone believed the lie, why on earth would that be a reason for a c-section at 37 weeks?

Because she had finally convinced the doctor that she needed a c/s to avoid labor pains (I understand this in the case of trauma, but I know this woman well enough to know that she's... well...) and he said fine, you can, but only if...

FWIW, I had the same doctor for that pregnancy, and I wasn't the least bit surprised when I heard this







oh, no, Mr. waterbirth-isn't-real-I-don't-care-what-you-see-on-tv!


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## MummaLitt

We live above the shop my in-laws own/run. I've recently realized that DS will fall asleep rather quickly if i take him down and walk around the shop.

MIL actually said the reason must be because there is so much to look at and the lights are so bright.









Yeah, that _must_ be the reason. I know when I go to a light show, the FIRST thing I do is fall asleep.









It can't possibly be the hum of the 6 fridge/coolers that are running constantly. Or maybe the rocking motion of my pacing around the store.


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## User101

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MummaLitt* 
We live above the shop my in-laws own/run. I've recently realized that DS will fall asleep rather quickly if i take him down and walk around the shop.

MIL actually said the reason must be because there is so much to look at and the lights are so bright.









Yeah, that _must_ be the reason. I know when I go to a light show, the FIRST thing I do is fall asleep.









It can't possibly be the hum of the 6 fridge/coolers that are running constantly. Or maybe the rocking motion of my pacing around the store.


Actually







I don't know how old your little one is, but babies will often fall asleep when faced with bright lights, loud noises, etc. It's a defense mechanism. Rahima Baldwin once described babies as "one big sense organism". Sometimes they do fall asleep just to escape sensory input.


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## 7kiddosmom

My poor sister has an MIL that is...well dumber than rocks. My sister just had a baby about a week ago, the day after she was up and walking around a bit. Her MIL rushed into the hospital room and told her that if she didn't lie down her uterus would FALL OUT!

When my sister told me that later she and I about died laughing. I think the laughing hurt more than the walking.


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## Danielle13

a friend of mind said to me "they said they had to break my water so that she would turn" ...ugh? are you kidding me! Do you actually think your baby will turn if theres no amniotic fluid in there for her to turn in?! she ended up having a c/s

our newest ped said "why do you run to her when she cries? Its not like you're going to do that when she's walking and falls so why make her think thats how its going to be" um...yes i will run to her when she falls! geez!







:


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## nhklh

I have one that DP told me about this past weekend.

Apparently, according to BIL our almost 4 yr old son is "too soft" and if we leave him with him for a day he'll "toughen him up". DP said to me that he is the LAST person on earth we'd send our son to - he is in his 40's and lives with his mother simply because she lets him get away with not paying any board. He drives like a lunatic, is involved with criminal activities and thinks it's acceptable to yell obscenities out the car window at female pedestrians.

Naturally our son is perfectly normal, loud & rambunctious, but also very sweet and affectionate. He cries when he is hurting physically or emotionally - guess that's the "problem"


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## mom2jasper

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MummaLitt* 
We live above the shop my in-laws own/run. I've recently realized that DS will fall asleep rather quickly if i take him down and walk around the shop.

MIL actually said the reason must be because there is so much to look at and the lights are so bright.









Yeah, that _must_ be the reason. I know when I go to a light show, the FIRST thing I do is fall asleep.









It can't possibly be the hum of the 6 fridge/coolers that are running constantly. Or maybe the rocking motion of my pacing around the store.

My son hated his car seat, and would cry his heart out in it--the few times we went out in the car, I would sit in the backseat with him to keep it under control and so he didn't feel abandoned--Anyway, I noticed that when the sun shone directly in his eyes, especially after going through a tunnel, he'd close his eyes and fall asleep. So after that when desperate, we did use bright lights to get him to sleep --or rather didn't dim the lights as we had previously. My first son fell asleep in busy busy white noise-type places (the mall, Costco) Our new baby likes pacing bouncing and silence. I think that it's all down to personal preference. but that's just my opinion.


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## sweetpeppers

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Amanda* 
What is it with EVERYONE asking, "so...is she sleeping through the night?" Like it's some kind of contest or something. I used to actually try and answer this question. My answer would go something like this, "well, we co-sleep and I bf, so when she's hungry I just kind of roll over. It's night, so I'm not sure how often it happens. Usually I fall asleep with her eatting...." You get the point.
I got so tired of having to explain why what I'm doing is okay, and to some people that this was not a criminal act. So, now I've just started outright lying to the various strangers and friends of friend's that ask me this question, I just say "great!"







Sometimes people look disappointed when I say this, like they wanted me to say "horrible!, she cries all night." People are so wierd...

I KNOW! EVERYONE asks about the sleeping through the night thing. I finally just stopped try to explain too. They don't understand anyway. People stopped asking around the time he was six months or so anyway. I guess they just assume?? I define sleeping through the night as not getting up and wanting to play or cry, I don't think rolling over and wanting to nurse is really waking up. So I just say, sure, he sleeps all night.

I have a funny, cute story too. My friend (childless) and I were talking about how some women don't want to breastfeed or something like that, and she goes, "So I guess they just pump their milk and throw it out?"


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## minkajane

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sweetpeppers* 
I have a funny, cute story too. My friend (childless) and I were talking about how some women don't want to breastfeed or something like that, and she goes, "So I guess they just pump their milk and throw it out?"

I actually had a pregnant woman ask me once if she would have to pump out all her millk if she didn't breastfeed.


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## Ofwait

My MIL thinks I should leave babes with her and they will be fine, doesn't matter how much they scream, its "normal". She also seemed to think it was funny when my 1 year old fell down the stairs at her house, because they would not allow us to place a gate or other barriers. etc etc.... sigh


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## mummyc

My MIL insists that my DD should wear shoes to help her to learn to walk.


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## mom2liv

My MIL, after repeatedly lamenting my newborn DD's mis-shaped head (she had two large cephalohematomas. hey, she was a big baby!) said "you poor thing. your mother really should have had a c-section and then you wouldn't have had this big bump on your head." *REALLY???????* Major surgery to avoid some head bruising??? Endanger her health and mine?? Are you kidding me????







:


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## HappyFox05

I keep reading about all this crazy advice ppl get. Makes me appreciate our buffer sometimes - my parents live in NJ, IL's live in OH, we live in Korea. When they tell us to "...just let her cry so she knows you won't pick her up every time she cries..." we can just smile & wave.


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## HardCoreMom

a family member on DH's side once mentioned what a "nice shaped head" one of my DS had. then she went on to talk about how one of her kids was so "good" that all you had to do was bring a bottle to her crib every 4 hours, and she would lay there on her back ("being good") playing with her toes the rest of the day.

no wonder my son's head looked nicely shaped to her. not only has he never been in a crib... but geez... i don't even have a comeback. the list of things i do totally differently than she did goes ON and ON...


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## sunnymw

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mummyc* 
My MIL insists that my DD should wear shoes to help her to learn to walk.

OMG... I have to share!!

From the moment DS was born until he was walking (15 months), GMIL said that we NEED to get that boy in some high-topped hard soled shoes, or he'd NEVER learn to walk. Once he started crawling she kept saying she was going to take him to X shoe store to get professionally fitted for a good, expensive pair of hard-soled shoes, because his feet would NEVER develop in soft soles!

Well, I looked into X shoe store... and at 15 months said "Okay... go ahead" She was thrilled. She took him to the shoe store... same owner that she'd went to w/ her kids... and asked him to fit and recommend a shoe. He said to her, "Since he's just learning to walk, he needs as soft of a sole as possible."

Needless to say, we don't argue about it anymore...


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## Redifer

Quote:


Originally Posted by *acp* 
This is too funny. I vividly remember having a dream when I was 15 or 16 that I was pregnant with a cat, and I didn't know how to explain it to everyone (in my dream), especially since I knew I hadn't done anything to get pregnant. Or the fact that it was a cat.








I always thought it was one of the weirdest dreams ever, but now I find I wasn't that strange after all!


Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
Yep! I've had MANY MANY kitty birthing dreams over the years. I always thought I was crazy 'til I read this thread










I guess I'm the odd one out on this one.. I dreamt I gave birth to a piglet in an airport when I was pregnant with DD1!!


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## Emmeline II

Quote:


Originally Posted by *candiland* 
"My younger sisters are (identical) twins. We heard 'em all. When asked if they were twins, my dad used to say, "No, they're six months apart." Confused the heck out of most people dim enough to ask the question." - posted by Ravin

I was asked last week if my two year old and four year old were twins!!! :LOL

Well...I know a 2 and 4 year old brother and sister who are often mistaken as twins. Their mom gives people a pass because they are both fair skinned blonds and the 4yo is very petite and the 2yo is rather robust. Sometime if I only see them from the back or just the top of their head I mistake one for the other.


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## amberskyfire

I decided that I wouldn't let anyone hold my baby for one month after she was born because I didn't want her getting anyone's weird germs. My neighbor came over three days after she was born wanting to hold her, so I thought I would be nice and compromise. I told her I'd be delighted for her to come in and see the baby but that we weren't letting anyone hold her for about a month or so. My neighbor said okay, that she wouldn't pick her up, but then when she came in the house started KISSING ALL OVER MY BABY'S FACE - all while staying true to her word and not picking her up at all! I totally freaked out and after the woman left, I was wiping my poor little newborn down with disinfecting witch hazel wipes.


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## kewpie-o

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sunnymw* 
OMG... I have to share!!

From the moment DS was born until he was walking (15 months), GMIL said that we NEED to get that boy in some high-topped hard soled shoes, or he'd NEVER learn to walk. Once he started crawling she kept saying she was going to take him to X shoe store to get professionally fitted for a good, expensive pair of hard-soled shoes, because his feet would NEVER develop in soft soles!

Well, I looked into X shoe store... and at 15 months said "Okay... go ahead" She was thrilled. She took him to the shoe store... same owner that she'd went to w/ her kids... and asked him to fit and recommend a shoe. He said to her, "Since he's just learning to walk, he needs as soft of a sole as possible."

Needless to say, we don't argue about it anymore...


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## KristyDi

This one came from my dh's grannie. I expect weird things from her because she's a little nuts. Thankfully, she's not real involved in our lives so I can smile and ignore her most times.

Apparently, DH should not tickle DD's feet or she'll stutter when she learns to talk. DH's dad tickled his feet and sure enough, DH stuttered when he was a kid.

The whole time she was telling me this my FIL (this is his x-MIL) was standing behind her trying not to







.


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## Down2Earth

I love this thread! I've read the WHOLE thing!!! So, here's my contribution:

*After my m/c, my mil was "trying" to comfort me by saying that she was sad because the baby wasn't just my baby _it was her baby too_. What?!

*During that same visit home, we spent some time with my nieces. They were 4 and 6 yo and pretty hyper and annoying. And instead of curbing their bad behavior my step-mom kept telling me I better get use to it. And I wanted kids and this is what they are like. I think she could see in my face that I didn't agree with her and she began to get visibly angry and kept asking am I sure this is what I want? Well, I've been married for 8 years and had a m/c, a baby I really wanted and loved, so yes this is what I really want!

*I laughed when I read about babies that bite and the advice to bite them back harder. My step-mom told me when her twins were about two she was babysitting a neighbor's kid and he bit one of her girls so hard it drew blood. Well, she freaked out and bit the kid back! I don't know if she ever babysat for that kid again (but I'm pretty sure he stopped biting (oh, and he was about 4 or 5 yo.)) Remind me not to let step-mom babysit, ever.

*My step-mom said to my DH. "You can't let her go to a midwife no matter what. It's too dangerous since she has a high-risk pregnancy." WTH? I had a couple days of spotting at about 6 wks but OB and u/s confirmed everything was fine. I wouldn't really labor me as high-risk.

*At my 8 wk u/s in the waiting room, my step-mom asked (regarding having a baby) Are you sure you want to do this? WHAT?!? I told her, no we changed our minds. We don't want a baby anymore.

*My step-mom had said this one before (and I ignored her) but she said my cats would suffocate my baby because they would smell milk and _slurp slurp slurp_ suck out the baby's breath. I said we don't sleep with the cats in our room. Her reply, but what about the baby's room? As if I wasn't going to have my baby with me or that I didn't care enough to close my child's bedroom door also.

*I have a step-sister that I don't care for (long story but she asked me to be a bridesmaid because I was her "sister" and then kicked me out because she didn't like who I was dating (dh now) but said it was because we weren't friends anymore.) Anyway, I don't care about her and never talk to her. I know she is ttc #2 but is having problems. I finally felt selfish for not sharing my knowledge so I mentioned to my step-mom about preseed and how it works, since step-sister is taking clomid and they know she is ovulating I thought it could only help to get her dh's slow lazy sperm up there if she doesn't already have ewcm. The response I got back? Preseed is pointless. Her doctor told them to use nothing. And she is taking her temp so she knows when she ovulates. Umm, okay. Does that mean she has ewcm? Is she tracking her other fertile signs to know before she actually ovulates? Step-mom made it sound like I was an idiot and didn't know anything and that preseed _doesn't work at all_. Well, guess what? The month we used it... it worked.

I'm sure I'll have many more to add. We just started telling friends that we're expecting, and frankly people are pretty stupid.


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## minkajane

I work with a pregnant woman who complained for 15 minutes about how she can't afford anything for the surprise baby and all her family is giving her all the baby stuff, then said, "I don't think I'm going to breastfeed" because everyone she knew FFed from the start and WIC pays for formula anyway.

I ended up talking to her for half an hour about how important BFing is and she's thinking about it!


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## FREEmom1120

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Down2Earth* 
I love this thread! I've read the WHOLE thing!!! So, here's my contribution:

*After my m/c, my mil was "trying" to comfort me by saying that she was sad because the baby wasn't just my baby _it was her baby too_. What?!

All yours were crazy, but this one really got me.

The whole time I was pregnant my sil called my baby "her niece". Even though it wasn't incorrect to refer to the baby like that, it really irked me. At one point she posted on myspace, "thanks for carrying my niece!" Like I was doing her a favor?! It's *MY* BABY!


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## minkajane

My mom did the same thing. It's always "MY grandbaby!" When I had my miscarriage (the one she knew about anyway), she never once asked how I was feeling or if I was upset. She just cried that "my grandbaby" had died.


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## User101

I'm so sorry, but we're going to need to start a new thread. Threads this big stress out the server.


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